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diff --git a/old/44563.txt b/old/44563.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3cd57a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/44563.txt @@ -0,0 +1,15930 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Thackerayana, by William Makepeace Thackeray + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Thackerayana + Notes and Anecdotes + +Author: William Makepeace Thackeray + +Editor: Joseph Grego + +Release Date: January 2, 2014 [EBook #44563] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THACKERAYANA *** + + + + +Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have + been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. + + Italic text is denoted by _underscores_ and bold text by =equal + signs=. + + On page 204, "couch" should possibly be "conch". + + On page 345, the quote should probably read "ut melior vir"... + + + + +THACKERAYANA. + + + + + LONDON: PRINTED BY + SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE + AND PARLIAMENT STREET + + [Illustration] + + + + + THACKERAYANA + + NOTES AND ANECDOTES + + Illustrated by Hundreds of Sketches + + BY + WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + Depicting Humorous Incidents in his School Life, and Favourite + Scenes and Characters in the Books of his Every-day Reading + + A NEW EDITION + + London + CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY + + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + + [Illustration] + +A large portion of the public, and especially that smaller section of +the community, the readers of books, will not easily forget the shock, +as universal as it was unexpected, which was produced at Christmas, +1863, by the almost incredible intelligence of the death of William +Makepeace Thackeray. The mournful news was repeated at many a +Christmas table, that he, who had led the simple Colonel Newcome to +his solemn and touching end, would write no more. The circumstance was +so startling from the suddenness of the great loss which society at +large had sustained, that it was some time before people could realise +the dismal truth of the report. + +It will be easily understood, without elaborating on so saddening a +theme, with how much keener a blow this heavy bereavement must have +struck the surviving relatives of the great novelist. It does not come +within our province to speak of the paralysing effect of such emotion; +it is sufficient to recall that Thackeray's death, with its +overwhelming sorrow, left, in the hour of their trial, his two young +daughters deprived of the fatherly active mind which had previously +shielded from them the graver responsibilities of life, with the +additional anxiety of being forced to act in their own interests at +the very time such exertions were peculiarly distracting. + +It may be remembered that the author of 'Vanity Fair' had but recently +erected, from his own designs, the costly and handsome mansion in +which he anticipated passing the mellower years of his life; a +dwelling in every respect suited to the high standing of its owner, +and, as has been said by a brother writer, 'worthy of one who really +represented literature in the great world, and who, planting himself +on his books, yet sustained the character of his profession with all +the dignity of a gentleman.' + +In such a house a portion of Thackeray's fortune might be reasonably +invested. To the occupant it promised the enjoyment he was justified +in anticipating, and was a solid property to bequeath his descendants +when age, in its sober course, should have called him hence. But +little more than a year later, to those deadened with the effects of +so terrible a bereavement as their loss must have proved when they +could realise its fulness, this house must have been a source of +desolation. Its oppressive size, its infinitely mournful associations, +the hopeful expectations with which it had been erected, the tragic +manner in which the one dearest to them had there been stricken down; +with all this acting on the sensibilities of unhealed grief, the +building must have impressed them with peculiar aversion; and hence it +may be concluded that their first desire was to leave it. The removal +to a house of dimensions more suitable to their requirements involved +the sacrifice of those portions of the contents of the larger mansion +with which it was considered expedient to dispense; and thus Messrs. +Christie, Manson, and Woods announced for sale a selection from the +paintings, drawings, part of the interesting collection of curious +porcelain, and such various objects of art or furniture as would +otherwise have necessitated the continuance of a house as large as +that at Palace Green. These valuable objects were accordingly +dispersed under the hammer, March 16 and 17, 1864, and on the +following day the remainder of Thackeray's library was similarly +offered to public competition. To anyone familiar with Thackeray's +writings, and more especially with his Lectures and Essays, this +collection of books must have been both instructive and fascinating; +seeing that they faithfully indicated the course of their owner's +readings, and through them might be traced many an allusion or curious +fact of contemporaneous manners, which, in the hands of this master of +his craft, had been felicitously employed to strengthen the purpose of +some passage of his own compositions. + +Without converting this introduction into a catalogue of the contents +of Thackeray's library it is difficult to particularise the several +works found on his book-shelves. It is sufficient to note that all the +authorities which have been quoted in his Essays were fitly +represented; that such books, in many instances obscure and trivial in +themselves, as threw any new or curious light upon persons or +things--on the private and individual, as well as the public or +political history of men, and of the events or writings to which +their names owe notoriety, of obsolete fashions or of the changing +customs of society--were as numerous as the most ardent and +_dilettanti_ of Thackeray's admirers could desire. + +The present volume is devised to give a notion, necessarily +restricted, of certain selections from these works, chiefly chosen +with a view of further illustrating the bent of a mind, with the +workings of which all who love the great novelist's writings may at +once be admitted to the frankest intercourse. It has been truly said +that Thackeray was 'too great to conceal anything.' The same candour +is extended to his own copies of the books which told of times and +company wherein his imagination delighted to dwell; for, pencil in +hand, he has recorded the impressions of the moment without reserve, +whether whimsical or realistic. + +A collection of books of this character is doubly interesting. On the +one hand were found the remnants of earlier humourists, the quaint old +literary standards which became, in the hands of their owner, +materials from which were derived the local colouring of the times +concerning which it was his delightful fancy to construct romances, to +philosophise, or to record seriously. + +On the other hand, the present generation was fitly represented. To +most of the writers of his own era it was an honour that a +presentation copy of their literary offspring should be found in the +library of the foremost author, whose friendship and open-handed +kindness to the members of his profession was one of many brilliant +traits of a character dignified by innumerable great qualities, and +tenderly shaded by instances uncountable of generous readiness to +confer benefits, and modest reticence to let the fame of his goodness +go forth. + +Presentation copies from his contemporaries were therefore not scarce; +and whether the names of the donors were eminent, or as yet but little +heard of, the creatures of their thoughts had been preserved with +unvarying respect. The 'Christmas Carol,' that memorable Christmas +gift which Thackeray has praised with fervour unusual even to his +impetuous good-nature, was one of the books. The copy, doubly +interesting from the circumstances both of its authorship and +ownership, was inscribed in the well-known hand of that other great +novelist of the nineteenth century, 'W. M. Thackeray, from Charles +Dickens (_whom he made very happy once a long way from home_).' +Competition was eager to secure this covetable literary memorial, +which may one day become historical; it was knocked down at 25_l._ +10_s._, and rumour circulated through the press, without foundation, +we believe with regret, that it had been secured for the highest +personage in the State, whose desire to possess this volume would have +been a royal compliment to the community of letters. + +Nor were books with histories wanting. George Augustus Sala, in the +introduction to his ingenious series of 'Twice Round the Clock,' +published in 1862, remarks with diffidence: 'It would be a piece of +sorry vanity on my part to imagine that the conception of a Day and +Night in London is original. I will tell you how I came to think of +the scheme of "Twice Round the Clock." Four years ago, in Paris, my +then master in literature, Mr. Charles Dickens, lent me a little thin +octavo volume, which I believe had been presented to him by another +master of the craft, Mr. Thackeray.' A slight resemblance to this +opuscule was offered in 'A View of the Transactions of London and +Westminster from the Hours of Ten in the Evening till Five in the +Morning,' which was secured at Thackeray's sale for forty-four +shillings. + +Thus, without presuming to any special privileges, we account for the +selection of literary curiosities which form settings for the +fragments gathered in 'Thackerayana,' The point of interest which +rendered this dispersion of certain of Thackeray's books additionally +attractive to us may be briefly set forth. + +In looking through the pages of odd little volumes, and on the margins +and fly-leaves of some of the choicest works, presentation copies or +otherwise, it was noticed that pencil or pen-and-ink sketches, of +faithful conceptions suggested by the texts, touched in most cases +with remarkable neatness and decision, were abundantly dispersed +through various series. + +It is notorious that their owner's gift of dexterous sketching was +marvellous; his rapid facility, in the minds of those critics who knew +him intimately, was the one great impediment to any serious +advancement in those branches of art which demand a lengthy +probationship; and to this may be referred his implied failure, or but +partial success, in the art which, to him, was of all cultivated +accomplishments the most enticing. The fact has been dwelt on gravely +by his friends, and was a source of regret to certain eminent artists +best acquainted with his remarkable endowments. + +The chance of securing as many of these characteristic designs as was +in our power directed the selection of books which came into our +possession in consequence of the sale of Thackeray's library; it was +found they were richer in these clever pencillings than had been +anticipated. + +An impulse thus given, the excitement of increasing the little +gathering was carried further; many volumes which had been dispersed +were traced, or were offered spontaneously when the fact of the +collection became known. From books wherein, pencil in hand, passages +had been noted with sprightly little vignettes, not unlike the telling +etchings which the author of 'Vanity Fair' caused to be inserted in +his own published works, we became desirous of following the evidence +of this faculty through other channels; seeing we held the Alpha, as +it were, inserted in the Charterhouse School books, and the later +pencillings, which might enliven any work of the hour indifferently, +as it excited the imagination, grotesque or artist-like, as the case +might be, of the original reader, whether the book happened to be a +modest magazine in paper or an _edition de luxe_ in morocco. + +A demand created, the supply, though of necessity limited, was for a +time forthcoming. The energy, which fosters a mania for collecting, +was aided by one of those unlooked-for chances which sustain such +pursuits, and, from such congenial sources as the early companions of +the author, sufficient material came into our possession to enable us +to trace Thackeray's graphic ambition throughout his career with an +approach to consistency, following his efforts in this direction +through his school days, in boyish diversions, and among early +favourites of fiction; as an undergraduate of Cambridge; on trips to +Paris; as a student at Weimar and about Germany; through magazines, +to Paris, studying in the Louvre; to Rome, dwelling among artists; +through his contributions to 'Fraser's,' and that costly abortive +newspaper speculation the 'Constitutional;' through the slashing +Bohemian days, to the period of 'Vanity Fair;' through successes, +repeated and sustained--Lectures and Essays; through travels at home +and abroad--to America, from Cornhill to Grand Cairo, to Scotland, to +Ireland, 'Up the Rhine,' Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, Holland, and +wherever Roundabout 'sketches by the way' might present themselves. + +The study which had attracted an individual, elicited the sympathy of +a larger circle. The many who preserve mementos similar to those +dispersed through 'Thackerayana' enlarged on the general interest of +the materials, and especially upon the gratification which that part +of the public representing Thackeray's admirers would discover in such +original memorials of our eminent novelist; and which, from the nature +of his gifts, and the almost unique propensity for their exercise, +would be impossible in the case of almost any other man of kindred +genius. + +Selections from the sketches were accordingly produced in _facsimile_, +only such subjects being used as, from their relation to the context, +derived sufficient coherence to be generally appreciable. + +The writer is aware that many such memorials exist, some of them +unquestionably of greater worth in themselves than several that are +found in the present gathering; but it is not probable, either from +their private nature, the circumstances of their ownership, or from +the fact that, in their isolated condition, they do not illustrate any +particular stage of their author's progress, that the public will ever +become familiar with them. + +'Thackerayana' is issued with a sense of imperfections; many more +finished or pretentious drawings might have been offered, but the +illustrations have been culled with a sense of their fitness to the +subject in view. It is the intention to present Thackeray in the +aspect his ambition preferred--as a sketcher; his pencil and pen +bequeath us matter to follow his career; we recognise that delightful +gift, a facility for making rapid little pictures on the inspiration +of the moment; it is an endless source of pleasure to the person who +may exercise this faculty, and treasures up the most abundant and +life-like reminiscences for the delectation of others. It will be +understood as no implied disparagement of more laboured masterpieces +if we observe that the composition of historical works, the conception +and execution of _chefs-d'oeuvre_, are grave, lengthy, and +systematic operations, not to be lightly intruded on; they involve +much time and preparation, many essays, failures, alterations, +corrections, much grouping of accessories, posing of models, and +setting of lay-figures; they become oppressive after a time, and +demand a strain of absorption to accomplish, and an effort of mind to +appreciate, which are not to be daily exerted; long intervals are +required to recruit after such labours; but the bright, ready +_croquis_ of the instant, if not profound, embalms the life that is +passing and incessant; the incident too fleeting to be preserved on +the canvas, or in a more ambitious walk of the art, lives in the +little sketch-book; it is grateful to the hand which jots it down, and +has the agreeable result of being able to extend that pleasure to all +who may glance therein. If it was one of Thackeray's few fanciful +griefs that he was not destined for a painter of the grand order, it +doubtless consoled him to find that the happier gift of embodying +that abstract creation--an idea--in a few strokes of the pencil was +his beyond all question; and this graceful faculty he was accustomed +to exercise so industriously, that myriads of examples survive of the +originality of his invention as an artist, in addition to the +brilliant fancy and sterling truth to be found in his works as an +author. + + [Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAPTER I. + + PAGE + + Voyage from India -- Touching at St. Helena -- School days at the + Charterhouse -- Early Reminiscences -- Sketches in School Books + -- Boyish Scribblings -- Favourite Fictions -- Youthful + Caricatures -- Souvenirs of the Play 1 + + + CHAPTER II. + + Early Favourites -- The 'Castle of Otranto' -- Rollin's 'Ancient + History' 18 + + + CHAPTER III. + + Thackeray's last visit to the Charterhouse -- College days -- + Pendennis at Cambridge -- Sketches of Universities -- Sporting + subjects -- Etchings at Cambridge -- Pencillings in old authors + -- Pictorial Puns -- The 'Snob,' a Literary and Scientific + Journal -- 'Timbuctoo,' a Prize Poem 47 + + + CHAPTER IV. + + Early Favourites -- Fielding's 'Joseph Andrews' -- Imitators of + Fielding -- The 'Adventures of Captain Greenland' -- 'Jack + Connor' -- 'Chrysal; or, the Adventures of a Guinea' 71 + + + CHAPTER V. + + Continental Rambles -- A Stolen Trip to Paris -- Residence at + Weimar -- Contributions to Albums -- Burlesque State -- German + Sketches and Studies -- The Weimar Theatre -- Goethe -- Souvenirs + of the Saxon city -- 'Journal kept during a Visit to Germany' 89 + + + CHAPTER VI. + + Thackeray's Predilections for Art -- A Student in Paris -- First + Steps in the Career -- An Art Critic -- Introduction to Marvy's + 'English Landscape Painters' -- Early Connection with Literature + -- Michael Angelo Titmarsh, a contributor to 'Fraser's Magazine' + -- French Caricature under Louis Philippe -- Political Satires -- + A Young Artist's life in Paris -- Growing Sympathy with + Literature 114 + + + CHAPTER VII. + + 'Elizabeth Brownrigge: a Tale,' 1832 -- 'Comic Magazine,' 1832-4 + -- 'National Standard and Literary Representative,' 1833-4 -- + 'Flore et Zephyr, Ballet Mythologique,' 1836 -- On the Staff of + 'Fraser's Magazine' -- Early Connection with Maginn and his + Colleagues -- The Maclise Cartoon of the Fraserians -- + Thackeray's _Noms de Plume_ -- Charles Yellowplush as a Reviewer + -- Skelton and his 'Anatomy of Conduct' -- Thackeray's Proposal + to Dickens to illustrate his Novels -- Gradual Growth of + Thackeray's Notoriety -- His Genial Admiration for 'Boz' -- + Christmas Books and Dickens's 'Christmas Carol' -- Return to + Paris -- Execution of Fieschi and Lacenaire -- Daily Newspaper + Venture -- The 'Constitutional' and 'Public Ledger' -- Thackeray + as Paris Correspondent -- Dying Speech of the 'Constitutional' -- + Thackeray's Marriage -- Increased Application to Literature -- + The 'Shabby Genteel Story' -- Thackeray's Article in the + 'Westminster' on George Cruikshank -- First Collected Writings -- + The 'Paris Sketch-Book' -- Dedication to M. Aretz -- 'Comic Tales + and Sketches,' with Thackeray's original Illustrations -- The + 'Yellowplush Papers' -- The 'Second Funeral of Napoleon,' with + the 'Chronicles of the Drum' -- The 'History of Samuel Titmarsh + and the great Hoggarty Diamond' -- 'Fitzboodle's Confessions' -- + The 'Irish Sketch-Book,' with the Author's Illustrations -- The + 'Luck of Barry Lyndon' -- Contributions to the 'Examiner' -- + Miscellanies -- 'Carmen Lilliense' -- 'Notes on a Journey from + Cornhill to Grand Cairo,' with the Author's Illustrations -- + Interest excited in Titmarsh -- Foundation of 'Punch' -- + Thackeray's Contributions -- His comic Designs -- The 'Fat + Contributor' -- 'Jeames's Diary' 124 + + + CHAPTER VIII. + + Increasing reputation -- Later writings in 'Fraser' -- 'Mrs. + Perkins's Ball,' with Thackeray's Illustrations -- Early + Vicissitudes of 'Pencil Sketches of English Society' -- + Thackeray's connection with the Temple -- Appearance of 'Vanity + Fair,' with the Author's original Illustrations -- Appreciative + notice in the 'Edinburgh Review' -- The impression produced -- + 'Our Street,' with Titmarsh's Pencillings of some of its + Inhabitants -- The History of Pendennis,' illustrated by the + Author -- 'Dr. Birch and his Young Friends,' with illustrations + by M. A. Titmarsh -- 'Rebecca and Rowena' -- The Dignity of + Literature and the 'Examiner' and 'Morning Chronicle' newspapers + -- Sensitiveness to Hostile Criticism -- The 'Kickleburys on the + Rhine,' with illustrations by M. A. Titmarsh -- Adverse bias of + the 'Times' newspaper -- Thackeray's reply -- An 'Essay on + Thunder and Small Beer' 161 + + + CHAPTER IX. + + Commencement of the Series of Early Essayists -- Thackeray as a + Lecturer -- The 'English Humourists of the Eighteenth Century' -- + Charlotte Bronte at Thackeray's Readings -- The Lectures repeated + in Edinburgh -- An invitation to visit America -- Transatlantic + popularity -- Special success attending the reception of the + 'English Humourists' in the States -- 'Week-day Preachers' -- + Enthusiastic Farewell -- Appleton's New York edition of + Thackeray's Works; the Author's introduction, and remarks on + International Copyright -- Thackeray's departure -- Cordial + impression bequeathed to America -- The 'History of Henry + Esmonde, a story of Queen Anne's Reign' -- The writers of the + Augustan Era -- The 'Newcomes' -- An allusion to George + Washington misunderstood -- A second visit to America -- Lectures + on the 'Four Georges' -- The series repeated at home -- Scotch + sympathy -- Thackeray proposed as a candidate to represent Oxford + in Parliament -- His liberal views and impartiality 171 + + + CHAPTER X. + + Curious Authors from Thackeray's Library, indicating the course + of his Readings -- Early Essayists illustrated with the + Humourist's Pencillings -- Bishop Earle's 'Microcosmography; a + piece of the World Characterised,' 1628 -- An 'Essay in Defence + of the Female Sex,' 1697 -- Thackeray's Interest in Works on the + Spiritual World -- 'Flagellum Daemonum, et Fustis Daemonum. Auctore + R. P. F. Hieronymo Mengo,' 1727 -- 'La Magie et L'Astrologie,' + par L. F. Alfred Maury -- 'Magic, Witchcraft, Animal Magnetism, + Hypnotism, and Electro Biology,' by James Baird, 1852 186 + + + CHAPTER XI. + + ENGLISH ESSAYISTS OF THE GEORGIAN ERA. + + Early Essayists whose Writings have furnished Thackeray with the + Accessories of Portions of his Novels and Lectures -- Works from + the Novelist's Library, elucidating his Course of Reading for the + Preparation of his 'Lectures' -- 'Henry Esmond,' 'The + Virginians,' &c. -- Characteristic Passages from the Lucubrations + of the Essayists of the Augustan Era illustrated with original + Marginal Sketches, suggested by the Text, by Thackeray's hand -- + The 'Tatler' -- Its History and Influence -- Reforms introduced + by the purer Style of the Essayists -- The Literature of Queen + Anne's Reign -- Thackeray's Love for the Writings of the Period + -- His Gift of reproducing their masterly and simple style of + Composition; their Irony, and playful Humour -- Extracts from + notable Essays; illustrated with original Pencillings from the + Series of the 'Tatler,' 1709 221 + + + CHAPTER XII. + + THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE + EARLY ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Extracts of Characteristic Passages from the Works of the + 'Humourists,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated with Original + Marginal Sketches by the Author's hand -- The Series of THE + 'GUARDIAN,' 1713 -- Introduction -- Steele's Programme -- Authors + who contributed to the 'Guardian' -- Paragraphs and Pencillings + 275 + + + CHAPTER XIII. + + THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE + EARLY ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Characteristic passages from the Works of Humorous Writers of the + 'Era of the Georges,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated with + original Marginal Sketches by the Author's hand -- THE + 'HUMOURIST,' 1724 -- Extracts and Pencillings 299 + + + CHAPTER XIV. + + THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE + EARLY ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of the 'Humourists,' from + Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the Author's hand, with + Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- THE 'WORLD,' 1753 -- + Introduction -- Its Difference from the Earlier Essays -- + Distinguished Authors who contributed to the 'World' -- + Paragraphs and Pencillings 318 + + + CHAPTER XV. + + THACKERAY'S FAMILIARITY WITH THE WRITINGS OF THE + SATIRICAL ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the compositions of the 'Early + Humourists,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the + Author's hand with original Marginal Sketches suggested by the + Text -- The 'CONNOISSEUR,' 1754 -- Introduction -- Review of + Contributors -- Paragraphs and Pencillings 357 + + + CHAPTER XVI. + + THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE + EARLY ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of the 'Humourists,' from + Thackeray's Library; illustrated by the Author's hand with + Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- THE 'RAMBLER,' 1749-50 + -- Introduction -- Its Author, Dr. Johnson -- Paragraphs and + Pencillings 370 + + + CHAPTER XVII. + + THACKERAY'S FAMILIARITY WITH THE WRITINGS OF THE + SATIRICAL ESSAYISTS -- _Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of the 'Early Humourists,' + from Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the Author's hand with + original Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- The 'MIRROR,' + Edinburgh, 1779-80 -- Introduction -- The Society in which the + 'MIRROR,' and 'Lounger' originated -- Notice of Contributors -- + Paragraphs and Pencillings 408 + + + CHAPTER XVIII. + + Thackeray as an Illustrator -- The 'North British Review' on + Thackeray -- Illustrations to 'Men of Character' -- 'The + Whitey-brown Paper Magazine' -- 'Comic Tales,' illustrated by + Thackeray -- Allusions to Caricature Drawing found throughout his + writings -- Skits on Fashion -- Titmarsh on 'Men and Clothes' -- + Bohemianism in youth -- Hatred of Conventionality -- Sketches of + Contemporary Habits and Manners -- Imaginative Illustrations to + Romances -- Skill in Ludicrous Parody -- Burlesque of the + 'Official Handbook of Court and State' 436 + + + CHAPTER XIX. + + Thackeray as a Traveller -- Journey in Youth from India to + England -- Little Travels at Home -- Sojourn in Germany -- French + Trips -- Residence in Paris -- Studies in Rome -- Sketches and + Scribblings in Guide-Books -- Little Tours and Wayside Studies -- + Brussels -- Ghent and the Beguines -- Bruges -- _Croquis_ in + Murray's 'Handbooks to the Continent' -- Up the Rhine -- 'From + Cornhill to Grand Cairo' -- Journeys to America -- Switzerland -- + 'A Leaf out of a Sketch-Book' -- The Grisons -- Verona -- + 'Roundabout Journeys' -- Belgium and Holland 465 + + + CHAPTER XX. + + Commencement of the 'Cornhill Magazine' -- 'Roundabout Papers' -- + 'Lovel the Widower' -- The 'Adventures of Philip on his Way + through the World' -- Lectures on the 'Four Georges' -- Editorial + Penalties -- The 'Thorn in the Cushion' -- Harass from + disappointed Contributors -- Vexatious Correspondents -- + Withdrawal from the arduous post of Editor -- Building of + Thackeray's House in Kensington Palace Gardens -- Christmas 1863 + -- Death of the great Novelist -- The unfinished Work -- + Circumstances of the Author's last Illness -- His Death 488 + + + + +THACKERAYANA. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + Voyage from India -- Touching at St. Helena -- School days at the + Charterhouse -- Early Reminiscences -- Sketches in School Books + -- Boyish Scribblings -- Favourite Fictions -- Youthful + Caricatures -- Souvenirs of the Play. + + [Illustration: View of Life as seen through the Charterhouse Gates] + +The fondness of Thackeray for lingering amidst the scenes of a boy's +daily life in a public grammar school, has generally been attributed +to his early education at the Charterhouse, that celebrated +monastic-looking establishment in the neighbourhood of Smithfield, +which he scarcely disguised from his readers as the original of the +familiar 'Greyfriars' of his works of fiction. Most of our novelists +have given us in various forms their school reminiscences; but none +have produced them so frequently, or dwelt upon them with such +manifest bias towards the subject, as the author of 'Vanity Fair,' +'The Newcomes,' and 'The Adventures of Philip.' It is pleasing to +think that this habit, which Thackeray was well aware had been +frequently censured by his critics as carried to excess, was, like his +partiality for the times of Queen Anne and the Georges, in some degree +due to the traditional reverence of his family for the memory of their +great-grandfather, Dr. Thomas Thackeray, the well-remembered +head-master of Harrow. + + [Illustration: An Exile] + + [Illustration: A Sentry] + +Sketches of Indian life and Anglo-Indians generally are abundantly +interspersed through Mr. Thackeray's writings, but he left India too +early to have profited much by Indian experiences. He is said, +however, to have retained so strong an impression of the scene of his +early childhood, as to have wished in later life to revisit it, and +recall such things as were still remembered by him. In his seventh +year he was sent to England, and when the ship touched at St. Helena, +he was taken up to have a glimpse of Bowood, and there saw that great +Captain at whose name the rulers of the earth had so often trembled. +It is remarkable that in his little account of the second funeral of +Napoleon, which he witnessed in Paris in 1840, no allusion to this +fact appears; but he himself has described it in one of his latest +works--the lectures on 'The Four Georges,' first delivered in the +United States in 1855-56, and afterwards described by the _Athenaeum_ +as 'an airy, humorous, and brilliant picture of English life and +manners, produced by honest reading out of many books, and lighted +with the glow of individual sympathy and intellect.' + + [Illustration: A highly respectable Member of Society] + + [Illustration: A Master of Arts] + +We fancy that Thackeray was placed under the protection of his +grandfather, William Makepeace Thackeray, who had settled with a good +fortune, the fruit of his industry in India, at Hadley, near Chipping +Barnet, a little village, in the churchyard of which lies buried the +once-read Mrs. Chapone, the authoress of the 'Letters on the +Improvement of the Mind,' the correspondent of Richardson, and the +intimate friend of the learned Mrs. Carter and other blue-stocking +ladies of that time. + +In the course of time--we believe in his twelfth year--Thackeray was +sent to the Charterhouse School, and remained there as a boarder in +the house of Mr. Penny. He appears in the Charterhouse records for the +year 1822 as a boy on the tenth form. In the next year we find him +promoted to the seventh form; in 1824 to the fifth; and in 1828, when +he had become a day-boy, or one residing with his friends, we find him +in the honourable positions of a first-form boy and one of the +monitors of the school. He was, however, never chosen as one of the +orators, or those who speak the oration on the Founder's Day, nor does +he appear among the writers of the Charterhouse odes, which have been +collected and printed from time to time in a small volume. We need +feel no surprise that Thackeray's ambition did not lead him to seek +this sort of distinction; like most keen humorists, he preferred +exercising his powers of satire in burlesquing these somewhat trite +compositions to contributing seriously to swell their numbers. Prize +poems ever yielded the novelist a delightful field for his sarcasms. + + [Illustration: A Man of Letters] + + [Illustration: Early efforts at Drawing] + +While pursuing his studies at 'Smiffle,' as the Carthusians were +pleased to style 'Greyfriars,' Thackeray gave abundant evidences of +the gifts that were in him. He scribbled juvenile verses, towards the +close of his school days, displaying taste for the healthy sarcasm +which afterwards became one of his distinctive qualities, at the +expense of the prosaic compositions set down as school verses. In one +of his class books, 'Thucydides,' with his autograph, 'Charter House, +1827,' are scribbled two verses in which the tender passion is treated +somewhat realistically:-- + + Love 's like a mutton chop, + Soon it grows cold; + All its attractions hop + Ere it grows old. + Love 's like the cholic sure, + Both painful to endure; + Brandy 's for both a cure, + So I've been told. + + When for some fair the swain + Burns with desire, + In Hymen's fatal chain + Eager to try her, + He weds as soon as he can, + And jumps--unhappy man-- + Out of the frying pan + Into the fire. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +As to the humorist's pencil, even throughout these early days, it must +have been an unfailing source of delight, not only to the owner but to +the companions of his form. 'Draw us some pictures,' the boys would +say; and straightway down popped a caricature of a master on slate or +exercise paper. Then school books were brought into requisition, and +the fly-leaves were adorned with whimsical travesties of the subjects +of their contents. Abbe Barthelemy's 'Travels of Anacharsis the +Younger' suggested the figure of a wandering minstrel, with battered +hat and dislocated flageolet, piping his way through the world in the +dejected fashion in which those forlorn pilgrims might have presented +themselves to the charitable dwellers in Charterhouse Square; while +Anacharsis, Junior, habited in classic guise, was sent (pictorially) +tramping the high road from Scythia to Athens, with stick and bundle +over his back, a wallet at his side, sporting a family umbrella of the +defunct 'gingham' species as a staff, and furnished with lace-up +hob-nailed boots of the shape, size, and weight popularly approved by +navvies. + + [Illustration: 'A Gingham'] + +Then Ainsworth's Latin Dictionary was turned into a sketch book, and +supplemented with studies of head-masters, early conceptions of Roman +warriors, primitive Carthusians indulging disrespectful gestures, +known as 'sights,' at the rears of respectable governors, and boys of +the neighbouring 'blue coat' foundation, their costume completed with +the addition of a fool's or dunce's long-eared cap. + +Fantastic designs, even when marked by the early graphic talent which +Thackeray's rudest scribblings display, are apt to entail unpleasant +consequences when discovered in school-books, and greater attractions +were held out by works of fiction. + + [Illustration: In a state of suspense] + +Pages of knight-errantry were the things for inspiration: Quixote, +Orlando Furioso, Valentine and Orson, the Seven Champions, Cyrus the +Grand (and interminable), mystic and chivalrous legends, quite +forgotten in our generation, but which, in Thackeray's boyhood, were +considered fascinating reading;--quaint romances, Italian, Spanish, +and Persian tales, familiar enough in those days, and oft referred to, +with accents of tender regret, in the reminiscences of the great +novelist. What charms did the 'Arabian Nights' hold out for his +kindling imagination,--how frequently were its heroes and its episodes +brought in to supply some apt allusion in his later writings! It +seems that Thackeray's pencil never tired of his favourite stories in +the 'Thousand and One Nights,' precious to him for preserving ever +green the impressions of boyhood. How numerous his unpublished designs +from these tales, those who treasure his numberless and diversified +sketches can alone tell. We see the thrilling episode of 'Ali Baba' +perched among the branches, while the robbers bear their spoil to the +mysterious cave, repeated with unvarying interest, and each time with +some fresh point of humour to give value to the slight tracings. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Fancy sketch] + + [Illustration: A worthy Cit] + + [Illustration: A Grey Friar] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'Make us some faces,' his school-companions would cry. 'Whom will you +have? name your friends,' says the young artist. Perhaps one young +rogue, with a schoolboy's taste for personalities, will cry, 'Old +Buggins;' and the junior Buggins blushes and fidgets as the ideal +presentment of his progenitor is rapidly dashed off and held up to the +appreciation of a circle of rapturous critics. 'Now,' says the wounded +youngster, glad to retaliate, 'you remember old Figgins' pater when he +brought Old Figs back and forgot to tip--draw him!' and a faithful +portraiture of that economic civic ornament is produced from +recollection. + + [Illustration: Blueskin] + +The gallery of family portraits is doubtless successfully exhausted, +and each of the boys who love books, calls for a different favourite +of fiction, or the designer exercises his budding fancy in summoning +monks, Turks, ogres, bandits, highwaymen, and other heroes, +traditional or imaginary, from that wonderful well of his, which, in +after years, was to pour out so frankly from its rich reservoirs for +the recreation, and improvement too, of an audience more numerous, but +perhaps less enthusiastic, than that which surrounded him at +Greyfriars. + + [Illustration: Virtue triumphant] + + [Illustration: Early Recreations--Marbles] + + [Illustration] + +Holidays came, and with them the chance of visiting the theatres. +Think of the plays in fashion between 1820 and '30; what juvenile +rejoicings over the moral drama, over the wicked earl unmasked in the +last Act, the persecuted maiden triumphant, and virtue's defenders +rewarded. Recall the pieces in vogue in those early days, to which the +novelist refers with constant pleasure; how does he write of nautical +melodramas, of 'Black Ey'd Seusan,' and such simply constructed +pieces as he has parodied in the pages of 'Punch:' such as Theodore +Hook is described hitting off on the piano after dinner. Think of +Sadler's Wells, and the real water, turned on from the New River +adjacent. Remember Astley's, and its gallant stud of horses. How faded +are all these glories in our time, yet they were gorgeous subjects for +young Thackeray's hand to work out; and we can well conceive eager +little Cistercians, in miniature black gowns and breeches, revelling +over the splendid pictures, perhaps made more glorious with the colour +box. How many of these scraps have been treasured to this day, and are +now gone with the holders, heaven knows where? + + [Illustration] + +Then there was 'Shakespeare,' always a favourite with 'Titmarsh.' +Think of the obsolete, conventional trappings in which the characters +of the great playwright were then condemned to strut about to the +perfect satisfaction of the audience, before theatrical 'costume' +became a fine art! And then there were Braham, and Incledon, and the +jovial rollicking tuneful 'Beggar's Opera.' Behold the swaggering +Macheath, reckless in good fortune, and consistently light-hearted up +to his premature exit. + + [Illustration: The Captain] + + '_Since laws were made for ev'ry degree, + To curb vice in others, as well as me, + I wonder we han't better company + Upon_ Tyburn _tree!_ + + _But gold from law can take out the sting: + And if rich men like us were to swing, + 'Twould thin the land, such numbers to string + Upon_ Tyburn _tree!_' + + * * * * * + + '_The charge is prepar'd, the Lawyers are met; + The Judges all rang'd (a terrible show!) + I go undismay'd--for death is a debt, + A debt on demand,--so take what I owe._ + + _Then, farewell, my love--dear charmers, adieu; + Contented I die--'tis the better for you; + Here ends all dispute the rest of our lives, + For this way at once I please all my wives._' + + [Illustration] + +In his 'English Humorists of the Eighteenth Century,' our author does +not forget to pay his honest tribute to Gay, some of whose verses we +have just quoted. + + [Illustration] + + '_At the tree I shall suffer with pleasure, + At the tree I shall suffer with pleasure, + Let me go where I will, + In all kinds of ill, + I shall find no such Furies as these are._' + +Thackeray's predilections for the stage survived the first flush of +enthusiasm, and, like most of his pleasures, flourished vigorously +almost throughout his career. + +It may be fresh in the recollections of most of his admirers how in +1848 he describes, in his great work, _Vanity Fair_, a visit to Drury +Lane Theatre--the vivid colouring of which picture outshines his +entire gallery of theatrical sketches. + +The stout figure and slightly Mosaic cast of countenance of Braham +will be recognised opposite, gorgeous in stage trappings, as he +appeared in the opera of the 'Lion of Judah;' Thackeray also +dedicated to him another portrait, with a copy of mock laudatory +verses, in the 'National Standard,' to which engaging production some +allusion will be found under the notice of the author's earlier +contributions to periodical literature. + + [Illustration: Mr. Braham] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Speculation] + + [Illustration: Quixote] + + [Illustration: A formidable foe] + + [Illustration: A Roman sentry] + + [Illustration: A Spanish Don] + + [Illustration: Rouge et Noir] + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + Early Favourites -- The Castle of Otranto -- Rollin's Ancient + History. + + +The references made by Thackeray to the romances which thrilled the +sympathies of novel-readers in his youth are spread throughout his +writings. In the 'Roundabout Paper' devoted to reminiscences of +fictions which delighted his schooldays, he whimsically deplores that +Time, among other insatiable propensities, should devour the glories +of novels, and especially of those which have befriended his youth; +that no friendly hand should take the volumes down from their long +rest on the library shelves; that the profits of the forlorn novelists +should dwindle infinitesimally as the popularity of their bantlings +fades, until limbo finally takes them into indefinite keeping. + + [Illustration] + +In another paper, 'De Juventate,' he makes an earlier record of his +partiality for the imaginary companions of his boyhood. After alluding +to the games of his time, which he finds little changed, Mr. +Roundabout reverts to his favourite old novels, and challenges the +present day to rival their attractions, as far as his boyish +imagination was concerned. 'O "Scottish Chiefs," didn't we weep over +you? O "Mysteries of Udolpho," didn't I and Briggs minor draw pictures +out of you, as I have said?' + +On the title-page of one of his old class-books, 'The Eton Latin +Grammar,' we find fanciful scribblings, in the manner of Skelt's once +famous theatrical characters, of schoolboy versions of Sir William +Wallace triumphing over the fallen Sir Aymer de Valence, while +Thaddeus of Warsaw, attired in a square Polish cap, laced jacket, +tights, and Hessian boots, his belt stuck round with pistols, is +gallantly flourishing a curly sabre. + +Sketches of this picturesque nature seem to have held a certain charm +over the novelist's fancy through life; the impressions of his boyhood +are jotted down in all sorts of melodramatic fragments. + +Similar reminiscences, applying to different stages of our writer's +career, and forming portions of the illustrations to 'Thackerayana,' +will be recognised throughout this work. + +We endeavour to trace sufficient of the thread of the once familiar +story of 'The Castle of Otranto' (published in 1782, the fourth +edition), enlivened with highly droll marginal pencillings, to assist +our readers in a ready appreciation of the point and character of the +little designs, as it is more than probable that, by this time, the +interest and incidents of the original fiction are somewhat obscured +in the memories of our readers. We follow the words of the author as +closely as possible. + +'Manfred, Prince of Otranto, had one son and one daughter. The latter, +a most beautiful virgin, aged eighteen, was called Matilda. Conrad, +the son, was only fifteen, and of a sickly constitution; he was the +hope of his father, who had contracted a marriage for him with the +Marquis of Vicenza's daughter, Isabella. The bride elect had been +delivered by the guardians into Manfred's hands, that the marriage +might take place as soon as Conrad's infirm health would permit it. +The impatience of the prince for the completion of this ceremonial was +attributed to his dread of seeing an ancient prophecy accomplished, +which pronounced--"that the Castle and Lordship of Otranto should pass +from the present family, whenever the real owner should be grown too +large to inhabit it." + +'Young Conrad's birthday was fixed for the marriage; the company were +assembled in the chapel of the castle, everything ready,--but the +bridegroom was missing! The prince, in alarm, went in search of his +son. The first object that struck Manfred's eyes was a group of his +servants endeavouring to raise something that appeared to him a +mountain of sable plumes. "What are ye doing?" he cried, wrathfully; +"where is my son?" A volley of voices replied, "Oh! my lord! the +prince! the helmet! the helmet!" Shocked with these lamentable sounds, +and dreading he knew not what, he advanced hastily,--but what a sight +for a father's eyes! He beheld his child dashed to pieces, and almost +buried under an enormous helmet, a hundred times larger than any +casque ever made for human being, and shaded with a proportionable +quantity of black feathers. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'The consternation produced by this murderous apparition did not +diminish. Isabella was, however, relieved at her escape from an +ill-assorted union. Manfred continued to gaze at the terrible casque. +No one could explain its presence. In the midst of their senseless +guesses, a young peasant, whom rumour had drawn thither from a +neighbouring village, observed that the miraculous helmet was like +that on the figure in black marble, in the church of St. Nicholas, of +Alonzo the Good (the original Prince of Otranto, who died without +leaving an ascertained heir, and whose steward, Manfred's grandfather, +had illegally contrived to obtain possession of the castle, estates, +and title). "Villain! what sayest thou?" cried Manfred, starting from +his trance in a tempest of rage, and seizing the young man by the +collar. "How darest thou utter such treason? Thy life shall pay for +it!" The peasant was secured, and confined, as a necromancer, under +the gigantic helmet, there to be starved to death. Manfred retired to +his chamber to meditate in solitude over the blow which had descended +on his house. His gentle daughter, Matilda, heard his disordered +footsteps. She was just going to beg admittance, when Manfred suddenly +opened the door; and as it was now twilight, concurring with the +disorder of his mind, he did not distinguish the person, but asked +angrily who it was. Matilda replied, trembling, "My dearest father, it +is I, your daughter." Manfred, stepping back hastily, cried, "Begone, +I do not want a daughter;" and flinging back abruptly, clapped the +door against the terrified Matilda. His dejected daughter returned to +her mother, the pious Hippolita, who was being comforted by Isabella. +A servant, on the part of Manfred, informed the latter that Manfred +demanded to speak with her. "With me!" cried Isabella. "Go," said +Hippolita, "console him, and tell him that I will smother my own +anguish rather than add to his." + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'As it was now evening, the servant, who conducted Isabella, bore a +torch before her. When they came to Manfred, who was walking +impatiently about the gallery, he started, and said hastily, "Take +away that light, and begone." Then, shutting the door impetuously, he +flung himself upon a bench against the wall, and bade Isabella sit by +him. She obeyed trembling. The iniquitous Manfred then proposed, that +as his son was dead, Isabella should espouse him instead, and he would +divorce the virtuous Hippolita. Manfred, on her refusal, resorted to +violence, when the plumes of the fatal helmet suddenly waved to and +fro tempestuously in the moonlight. Manfred, disregarding the portent, +cried--"Heaven nor hell shall impede my designs," and advanced to +seize the princess. At that instant the portrait of his grandfather, +which hung over the bench where they had been sitting, uttered a deep +sigh, and heaved its breast. Manfred was distracted between his +pursuit of Isabella and the aspect of the picture, which quitted its +panel and stepped on the floor with a grave and melancholy air. The +vision sighed and made a sign to Manfred to follow him. "Lead on!" +cried Manfred; "I will follow thee to the gulph of perdition." The +spectre marched sedately, but dejected, to the end of the gallery. +Manfred followed, full of anxiety and horror, but resolved. The +spectre retired. Isabella had fled to a subterranean passage leading +from the Castle to the Sanctuary of St. Nicholas. In this vault she +encountered the young peasant who had provoked the animosity of +Manfred. He lifted up a secret trap-door, and Isabella made her +escape; but Manfred and his followers prevented the flight of the +daring stranger. The prince, who expected to secure Isabella, was +considerably startled to discover this youth in her stead. The weight +of the helmet had broken the pavement above, and he had thus alighted +in time to assist Isabella, whose disappearance he denied. A noise of +voices startled Manfred, who was alarmed by fresh indications of +hostile evidences. Jacques and Diego, two of his retainers, detailed +the fresh cause of alarm. It was thus: they had heard a noise--they +opened a door and ran back, their hair standing on end with terror. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'"It is a giant, I believe," said Diego; "he is all clad in armour, +for I saw his foot and part of his leg, and they are as large as the +helmet below in the court. We heard a violent motion, and the rattling +of armour, as if the giant was rising. Before we could get to the end +of the gallery we heard the door of the great chamber clap behind us; +but for Heaven's sake, good my lord, send for the chaplain and have +the place exorcised, for it is certainly haunted." The attendants +searched for Isabella in vain. The next morning father Jerome arrived, +announcing that she had taken refuge at the altar of St. Nicholas. He +came to inform Hippolita of the perfidy of her husband. Manfred +prevented him, saying, "I do not use to let my wife be acquainted with +the affairs of my state; they are not within a woman's province." "My +Lord," said the holy man, "I am no intruder into the secrets of +families. My office is to promote peace and teach mankind to curb +their headstrong passions. I forgive your highness's uncharitable +apostrophe; I know my duty, and am the minister of a mightier Prince +than Manfred. Hearken to Him who speaks through my organs." The good +father--to divert Manfred by a subterfuge from his unhallowed +designs--suggested that there might, perhaps, be an attachment +between the peasant and his recluse. Manfred was so enraged that he +ordered the youth who defied him to be executed forthwith. The removal +of the peasant's doublet disclosed the mark of a bloody arrow. +"Gracious Heaven!" cried the priest, starting, "what do I see? it is +my child! my Theodore!" Manfred was deaf to the prayers of the father +and friar, and ordered the tragedy to proceed. "A saint's bastard may +be no saint himself," said the prince sternly. The friar exclaimed, +"His blood is noble; he is my lawful son, and I am the Count of +Falconara!" At this critical juncture the tramp of horses was heard, +the sable plumes of the enchanted helmet were again agitated, and a +brazen trumpet was sounded without. "Father," said Manfred, "do you go +to the wicket and demand who is at the gate." "Do you grant me the +life of Theodore?" replied the friar. "I do," said the prince. The new +arrival was a herald from the Knight of the Gigantic Sabre, who +requested to speak with the Usurper of Otranto. + + [Illustration] + +'Manfred was enraged at this message; he ordered Jerome to be thrust +out, and to reconduct Isabella to the castle, and commanded Theodore +to be confined in the black tower. He then directed the herald to be +admitted to his presence. + +'"Well! thou insolent!" said the prince, "what wouldst thou with me?" +"I come," replied he, "to thee, Manfred, usurper of the principality +of Otranto, from the renowned and invincible knight, the Knight of the +Gigantic Sabre: in the name of his Lord, Frederic, Marquis of Vicenza, +he demands the Lady Isabella, daughter of that prince whom thou hast +basely and treacherously got into thy power, by bribing her false +guardians during his absence; he requires thee to resign the +principality of Otranto, which thou hast usurped from the said Lord +Frederic, the nearest of blood to the last rightful Lord Alonzo the +Good. If thou dost not instantly comply with these just demands, he +defies thee to single combat to the last extremity." And so saying, +the herald cast down his warder. Manfred knew how well founded this +claim was; indeed, his object in seeking an alliance with Isabella had +been to unite the claimants in one interest. + +'The herald was despatched to bid the champions welcome, and the +prince ordered the gates to be flung open for the reception of the +stranger knight and his retinue. In a few minutes the cavalcade +arrived. First came two harbingers with wands. Next a herald, followed +by two pages and two trumpets. Then a hundred foot-guards. These were +attended by as many horse. After them fifty foot-men clothed in +scarlet and black, the colours of the knight. Then a led horse. Two +heralds on each side of a gentleman on horseback bearing a banner with +the arms of Vicenza and Otranto quarterly--a circumstance that much +offended Manfred, but he stifled his resentment. Two more pages. The +knight's confessor telling his beads. Fifty more foot-men clad as +before. Two knights habited in complete armour, their beavers down, +comrades to the principal knight. The squires of the two knights, +carrying their shields and devices. The knight's own squire. A hundred +gentlemen bearing an enormous sword, and seeming to faint under the +weight of it. The knight himself on a chestnut steed, in complete +armour, his lance in the rest, his face entirely concealed by his +vizor, which was surmounted by a large plume of scarlet and black +feathers. Fifty foot-guards, with drums and trumpets, closed the +procession. Manfred invited the train to enter the great hall of his +castle. He proposed to the stranger to disarm, but the knight shook +his head in token of refusal. "Rest here," said Manfred; "I will but +give orders for the accommodation of your train, and return to you." +The three knights bowed as accepting his courtesy. Manfred directed +the stranger's retinue to be conducted to an adjacent hospital, +founded by the Princess Hippolita for the reception of pilgrims. As +they made the circuit of the court, the gigantic sword burst from the +supporters, and falling to the ground opposite the helmet, remained +immovable. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'Manfred, almost hardened to supernatural appearances, surmounted the +shock of this new prodigy; and returning to the hall, where by this +time the feast was ready, he invited his silent guests to take their +places. Manfred, however ill at ease was his heart, endeavoured to +inspire the company with mirth. He put several questions to them, but +was answered only by signs. They raised their vizors but sufficiently +to feed themselves, and that sparingly. During the parley Father +Jerome hurried in to report the disappearance of Isabella. The knights +and their retinue dispersed to search the neighbourhood, and Manfred, +with his vassals, quitted the castle to confuse their movements. +Theodore was still confined in the black tower, but his guards were +gone. The gentle Matilda came to his assistance; she carried him to +her father's armoury, and having equipped him with a complete suit, +conducted him to the postern-gate. "Avoid the town," said the +princess, "but hie thee to the opposite quarter; yonder is a chain of +rocks, hollowed into a labyrinth of caverns that lead to the +sea-coast. Go! Heaven be thy guide! and sometimes, in thy prayers, +remember Matilda!" Theodore flung himself at her feet, and seizing her +lily hand, which with struggles she suffered him to kiss, he vowed on +the earliest opportunity to get himself knighted, and fervently +intreated her permission to swear himself eternally her champion. He +then sighed and retired, but with eyes fixed on the gate, until +Matilda, closing it, put an end to an interview, in which the hearts +of both had drunk so deeply of a passion which both now tasted for the +first time.' + + [Illustration] + +We must now crowd the sequel of this remarkable story into the +smallest possible space. In the caverns Theodore recovered the +distracted Isabella; but a knight arrived at the moment of his happy +discovery, and mistrusting her deliverer, while Theodore deceived +himself as to the intentions of the stranger, a desperate combat +ensued, and the younger champion gained the victory. The stranger +knight explained his mistake, and revealed himself as the missing +Marquis of Vicenza, father to Isabella, and nearest heir to Alonzo. He +anticipated his wounds were fatal, but he recovered at the castle. +Manfred artfully pursued his unholy designs for a union with Isabella. +He gave a great feast, with this object, but Theodore withdrew from +the revelry to pray with Matilda at the tomb of Alonzo. Manfred +followed him to the chapel, believing his companion was Isabella, and +struck his dagger through the heart of his daughter. He was +overwhelmed with remorse for his error, on discovering that he had +murdered his child. Theodore revealed to Frederic that he was the +real and rightful successor to Alonzo. This declaration was confirmed +by the apparition of Alonzo. Thunder and a clank of more than mortal +armour was heard. The walls of the castle behind Manfred were thrown +down with a mighty force, and the form of Alonzo, dilated to an +immense magnitude, appeared in the centre of the ruins. 'Behold in +Theodore the true heir of Alonzo!' said the vision, and, ascending +solemnly towards heaven, the clouds parted asunder, and the form of +St. Nicholas received Alonzo's shade. Manfred confessed, in his +terror, that Alonzo had been poisoned by his grandfather, and a +fictitious will had accomplished his treacherous end. Jerome further +revealed that Alonzo had secretly espoused Victoria, a Sicilian +virgin. After the good knight's decease a daughter was born. Her hand +had been bestowed on him, the disguised Count of Falconara. Theodore +was the fruit of their marriage, thus establishing his direct right to +the principality. Manfred and his virtuous wife, Hippolita, retired to +neighbouring convents. Frederic offered his daughter to the new +prince, but 'it was not until after frequent discourses with Isabella +of dear Matilda that he was persuaded he could know no happiness but +in the society of one with whom he could for ever indulge the +melancholy that had taken possession of his soul,' with which +cheerful prospect the 'Castle of Otranto' is brought to an appropriate +conclusion. + + [Illustration] + +On the fly-leaf at the end of this worthy novel follows a sketch +suggestive of the out-of-door sports alluded to earlier. + + * * * * * + +An instance of the felicitous parodies to which the works of grave +historians are liable at the hands of a budding satirist is supplied +by 'Rollin's Ancient History,' one of the books of which we feel bound +to give more than a passing notice; we therefore select the more +tempting passages of the eight volumes forming the particular edition +in question, to which a fresh interest is contributed by certain +slight but pertinent pencillings probably referable to a somewhat +later period. + + +SKETCHES ILLUSTRATIVE OF 'ROLLIN'S ANCIENT HISTORY.' + + +ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE EGYPTIANS, ETC. ETC. + +'... In the early morning and at daybreak, when their minds were +clearest and their thoughts were most pure, the Egyptians would read +the letters they had received, the better to obtain a just and +truthful impression of the business on which they had to +decide.'--Vol. I. p. 60. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... In addition to the adoration practised by the Egyptians of +Osiris, Iris, and the higher divinities, they worshipped a large +number of animals, paying an especial respect to the cat.'--Vol. I. p. +73. + + [Illustration: The Historic Muse supported by the veracious + historians. + + _Frontispiece to Vol. I._ + + In this sketch Monsieur Rollin is archly classed among the ranks of + the writers of fiction--a position to which he is entitled from the + remarkable nature of the facts he gravely puts on record.] + +'Until the reign of Psammeticus the Egyptians were believed to be the +most ancient people on the earth. Wishing to assure themselves of this +antiquity, they employed a most remarkable test, if the statement is +worthy of credit. Two children, just born of poor parents, were shut +up in two separate cabins in the country, and a shepherd was directed +to feed them on goat's milk. (Others state that they were nourished by +nurses whose tongues had been cut out.) No one was permitted to enter +the cabins, and no word was ever allowed to be pronounced in their +presence. One day, when these children arrived at the age of two +years, the shepherd entered to bring them their usual food, when each +of them, from their different divisions, extending their hands to the +keeper, cried, "Beccos, beccos." This word, it was discovered, was +employed by the Phrygians to signify bread; and since that period this +nation has enjoyed, above all other peoples, the honour of the +earliest antiquity.'--Vol. I. p. 162. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Triumphant Statue of Scipio Africanus.--End of Vol. I.] + + +HISTORY OF THE CARTHAGINIANS, ETC. ETC. + +'... Virgil has greatly altered many facts in his "History of the +Carthaginians," by the supposition that his hero, AEneas, was a +contemporary of Dido, although there is an interval of about three +centuries between the two personages; Carthage having been built +nearly three hundred years before the Fall of Troy.'--Vol. I. p. 241. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... By the order of Hannibal a road was excavated through the bed of +the rocks, and this labour was carried on with astonishing vigour and +perseverance. To open and enlarge this pathway they felled all the +trees in the adjoining parts, and as soon as the timber was cut down +the soldiers arranged the trunks on all sides of the rocks, and the +wood was then set on fire. Fortunately, there being a high wind, an +ardent flame was quickly kindled, until the rock glowed with heat as +fiery as the furnace burning round it. Hannibal--if we may credit +Titus Livius (for Polybius[1] does not mention the circumstance)--then +caused a great quantity of vinegar to be poured upon the heated stone, +which ran into the fissures of the rocks (already cracked by the heat +of the fire), and caused them to soften and calcine to powder. By this +contrivance he prepared a road through the heart of the mountains, +giving easy passage to his troops, their baggage, and even their +elephants.'--Vol. I. p. 406. + + [Illustration: Battle of Cannes.--Vol. I. p. 439.] + + +HISTORY OF THE LYDIANS. + +'Croesus, wishing to assure himself of the veracity of the different +oracles, sent deputies to consult the most celebrated soothsayers both +in Africa and in Greece, with orders to inform themselves how +Croesus was engaged at a certain hour on a day that was pointed out +to them. + +'His instructions were exactly carried out. The oracle of Delphi +returned the only correct reply. It was given in verses of the +hexameter metre, and was in substance: "I know the number of grains of +sand in the sea, and the measure of the vast deep. I understand the +dumb, and those who have not learned to speak. My senses are saluted +with the savoury odour of a turtle stewed with the flesh of lambs in a +brazier, which has copper on all sides, above and below!" + + [Illustration] + +'In fact the king, desiring to select some employment which it would +be impossible to divine, had occupied himself at the hour appointed +for the revelation in preparing a turtle and a lamb in a copper +stewpan, which had also a lid of copper.'--Vol. II. p. 129. + + +HISTORY OF CYRUS. + +'... When the people of Ionia and AEolia learnt that Cyrus had mastered +the Lydians, they despatched ambassadors to him at Sardis, proposing +to be received into his empire, under the same conditions as he had +accorded to the Lydians. Cyrus, who before his victories had vainly +solicited them to unite in his cause, and who now found himself in a +position to constrain them by force, gave as his only answer the +apologue of a fisherman, who, having tried to lure the fish with the +notes of his flute, without any success, had recourse to his net as +the shortest method of securing them.'--Vol. II. p. 232. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'Herodotus, and after him Justinian, recounts that Astyages, King of +the Medes, on the impressions of an alarming dream, which announced +that a child his daughter was to bear would dethrone him, gave +Mandane, his daughter, in marriage to a Persian of obscure birth and +condition, named Cambyses. A son being born of this marriage, the king +charged Harpagus, one of his principal officers, to put the child to +death. Harpagus gave him to one of his shepherds to be exposed in a +forest. However, the infant, being miraculously preserved, and +afterwards nourished in secret by the herd's wife, was at last +recognised by his royal grandfather, who contented himself by his +removal to the centre of Persia, and vented all his fury on the +unhappy officer, whose own son he caused to be served up, to be eaten +by him at a feast. Some years later the young Cyrus was informed by +Harpagus of the circumstances of his birth and position; animated by +his counsels and remonstrances, he raised an army in Persia, marched +against Astyages, and challenged him to battle. The sovereignty of the +empire thus passed from the hands of the Medes to the Persians.'--Vol. +II. p. 315. + + +ANCIENT HISTORY OF GREECE. + +'The wealthy and luxurious members of the Lacedemonians were extremely +irritated against Lycurgus on account of his decree introducing public +repasts as the means best suited to enforce temperance. + + [Illustration] + +'It was on this occasion that a young man, named Alcandres, put out +one of Lycurgus's eyes with his staff, during a popular tumult. The +people, indignant at so great an outrage, placed the youth in his +hands. Lycurgus permitted himself a most honourable vengeance, +converting him, by his kindness, and the generosity of his treatment, +from violence and rebellion to moderation and wisdom.'--Vol. II. p. +526. + + +ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE PERSIANS AND THE GREEKS. + +'The Greek historians gave to Artaxerxes the surname of "Longhand," +because, according to Strabo, his hands were so long that, when he +stood erect, he was able to touch his knees; according to Plutarch, +because his right hand was longer than the left'--Vol. III. p. 347. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'The stories related of the voracity of the Athletes are almost +incredible. The appetite of Milo was barely appeased with twenty +"mines" (or pounds) of meat, as much bread, and three "conges" +(fifteen pints) of wine daily. Athenes relates that Milo, after +traversing the entire length of the state--bearing on his shoulders an +ox of four years' growth--felled the beast with one blow of his fist, +and entirely devoured it in one day. + +'I willingly admit other exploits attributed to Milo, but is it in the +least degree probable that a single man could eat an entire ox in one +day?'--Vol. III. p. 516. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... While Darius was absent, making war in Egypt and Arabia, the +Medes revolted against him; but they were overpowered and forced into +submission. To chastise this rebellion, their yoke, which had until +that date been very easy to bear, was made more burdensome. This fate +has never been spared to those subjects who, having revolted, are +again compelled to submit to the power they wished to depose.'--Vol. +III. p. 613. + + +ANCIENT HISTORY OF THE PERSIANS AND THE GREEKS. + +_Death of Alcibiades._ + + [Illustration: Frontispiece to Vol. IV.] + +'... Alcibiades was living at that time in a small town of Phrygia, +with Timandra, his mistress (it is pretended that Lais, the celebrated +courtesan--known as "the Corinthian"--was a daughter of this +Timandra). The ruffians who were engaged to assassinate him had not +the courage to enter his house; they contented themselves by +surrounding it and setting it on fire. Alcibiades, sword in hand, +having passed through the flames, these barbarians did not dare to +await a hand-to-hand combat with him, but sought safety in flight; +but, in their retreat, they overcame him with showers of darts and +arrows. Alcibiades fell down dead in the place. Timandra secured the +remains, and draped the body with her finest vestments; she gave him +the most magnificent funeral the state of her fortune would +permit.'--Vol. IV. p. 110. + + [Illustration] + + +RETREAT OF THE GREEKS FROM BABYLON. + +'... The troops put themselves in marching order; the battalions +forming one large square, the baggage being in the centre. Two of the +oldest colonels commanded the right and left wings.'--Vol. IV. p. 190. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'Agesilaus was in Boeotia, ready to give battle, when he heard the +distressing news of the destruction of the Lacedemonian fleet by +Conon, near Cnidus. Fearing the rumour of this defeat would discourage +and intimidate his troops, who were then preparing for battle, he +reported throughout the army that the Lacedemonians had gained a +considerable naval victory; he also appeared in public, wearing his +castor crowned with flowers, and offered sacrifices for the good +news.'--Vol. IV. p. 287. + +'... Artaxerxes resorted to treason unworthy of a prince to rid +himself of Datames, his former favour and friendship for whom were +changed into implacable hatred. + +He employed assassins to destroy him, but Datames had the good fortune +to escape their ambuscades. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'At last Mithridates, influenced by the splendid rewards promised by +the king if he succeeded in destroying so redoubtable an enemy, +insinuated himself into his friendship; and having afforded Datames +sufficient evidences of fidelity to gain his confidence, he took +advantage of a favourable moment when he happened to be alone, and +pierced him with his sword before he was in a condition to defend +himself.'--Vol. IV. p. 345. + +'... Socrates took the poisoned cup from the valet without changing +colour, or exhibiting emotion. "What say you of this drink?" he asked; +"is it permitted to take more than one draught?" They replied that it +was but for one libation. "At least," continued he, "it is allowable +to supplicate the gods to render easy my departure beneath the earth, +and my last journey happy. I ask this of them with my whole heart." +Having spoken these words, he remained silent for some time, and then +drank the entire contents of the cup, with marvellous tranquillity and +irresistible gentleness. + + * * * * * + +'"Cito," said he--and these were his last words--"we owe a cock to +Esculapius; acquit yourself of this vow for me, and do not +forget!"'--Vol. IV. p. 439. + + [Illustration] + +'... The Greek dances prescribed rules for those movements most proper +to render the figure free and the carriage unconstrained; to form a +well-proportioned frame, and to give the entire person a graceful, +noble, and easy air; in a word, to obtain that politeness of exterior, +if the expression is admissible, which always impresses us in favour +of those who have had the advantage of early training.'--Vol. IV. p. +538. + +'... After these observations on the government of the principal +peoples of Greece, both in peace and in war, and on their various +characteristics, it now remains for me to speak of their religion.' + + [Illustration: End of Vol. IV.] + + +HISTORY OF THE SUCCESSES OF ALEXANDER. + + +_Battle of Lamia._ + + [Illustration] + +'... The cavalry amounted to 3,500 horse, of which 2,000 were from +Thessaly; this constituted the chief force of the army, and their only +hope of success. In fact, battle being given, it was this cavalry +which obtained the victory, under the leadership of Menon. Lennatus, +covered with mortal wounds, fell on the field of battle, and was borne +to the camp by his followers.'--Vol. VII. p. 55. + + +_Battle of Cappadocia._ + +'Neoptolemus and Eumenes (the generals in command of the hostile +forces) cherished a personal hatred of each other. They came to a +hand-to-hand encounter, and their horses falling into collision, they +seized each other round the body, and their chargers escaping from +under them they fell to the ground together. Like enraged athletes, +they fought in that position for a long time, with a species of +maddened fury, until Neoptolemus received a mortal blow and expired. +Eumenes then remounted his horse and continued the battle.'--Vol. VII. +p. 89. + + [Illustration] + +'The reign of Seleucus was described by the Arabs as the era of the +"Double-horned," sculptors generally representing him decorated thus, +wearing the horns of a bull on his head; this prince being so powerful +that he could arrest the course of a bull by simply seizing it by the +horns.'--Vol. VII. p. 189. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... Democles, surnamed the Beautiful, in order to escape the violence +of Demetrius, threw himself, while still a youth, into a vessel of +boiling water, which was being prepared to heat a bath, and was +scalded to death; preferring to sacrifice his life rather than lose +his honour.'--Vol. VII. p. 374. + + +THE ENGAGEMENT OF PYRRHUS WITH THE CONSUL AEVINUS. + +'... Pyrrhus exerted himself without any precaution for his own +security. He overthrew all that opposed him; never losing sight of +the duties of a general, he preserved perfect coolness, giving orders +as if he were not exposed to peril; hurrying from post to post to +re-establish the troops who wavered, and supporting those most +assailed.'--Vol. VII. p. 404. + + [Illustration] + + +DEATH OF PYRRHUS AT ARGOS, ETC. ETC. + + [Illustration] + +'... Placing confidence in the swiftness of his charger, Pyrrhus threw +himself into the midst of his pursuers. He was fighting desperately +when one of the enemy approached him, and penetrated his javelin +through his armour. The wound was neither deep nor dangerous, and +Pyrrhus immediately attacked the man who had struck him, a mere common +soldier, son of a poor woman of Argos. Like the rest of the +townswomen, his mother was observing the conflict from the roof of a +house, and, seeing her son, who chanced to be beneath her, engaged +with Pyrrhus, she was seized with fright at the great danger to which +her child was exposed, and raising a heavy tile, with both hands, she +hurled it on Pyrrhus. It struck him on the head with its full force, +and his helmet being powerless to resist the blow, he became +unconscious instantly. The reins dropped from his hands, and he fell +from his horse without recognition. Soon after a soldier who knew +Pyrrhus observed his rank, and completed the work by cutting off the +king's head.'--Vol. VII. p. 460. + +'... A few days after Ptolemy had refused the peace proposals of the +Gauls, the armies came to an engagement, in which the Macedonians were +completely defeated and cut to pieces. Ptolemy, covered with wounds, +was made prisoner, his head was cut off, and, mounted on the point of +a lance, was shown in derision to the soldiers of the enemy.'--Vol. +VII. p. 376. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... The Colossus of Rhodes remained as it fell, without being +disturbed for 894 years, at the expiration of which time (in the year +672 of the Christian era) the Sixth Caliph, or Emperor of the +Saracens, having conquered Rhodes, he sold the remains of the Colossus +to a Hebrew merchant, who carried it off in 500 camel loads; +thus--reckoning eight quintals to one load--the bronze of this figure, +after the decay, by rust, of so many years, and after the probable +loss of some portion by pillage, still amounted to a weight of 720,000 +pounds, or 7,200 quintals.'--Vol. VII. p. 650. + +'Philip returned to the Peloponnesus shortly after his defeat. He +directed all his exertions to deceive and surprise the Messenians. His +stratagems being discovered, however, he raised the mask, and ravaged +the entire country.'--Vol. VIII. p. 121. + + [Illustration] + +'Philammon (the assassin who had been employed to murder Queen +Arsinoe) returned to Alexandria (from Cyrene) two or three days before +the tumult. The ladies of honour, who had been attached to the +unfortunate queen, had early information of his arrival, and they +determined to take advantage of the disorder then prevailing in the +city to avenge the death of their mistress. They accordingly broke +into the house where he had sought refuge, and overcame him with +showers of blows from stones and clubs.'--Vol. VIII. p. 215. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'... Scopas, finding himself at the head of all the foreign troops--of +whom the principal portions were Aetolians like himself--believed that +as he held the command of such a formidable body of veterans, so +thoroughly steeled by warfare, he could easily usurp the crown during +the minority of the king.'--Vol. VIII. p. 327. + +'... The arrival of Livius, who had commanded the fleet, and who was +now sent to Prusias (King of Bithynia), in the quality of an +ambassador, decided the resolutions of that monarch. He assisted the +king to discover on which side victory might be reasonably expected to +turn, and showed him how much safer it would be to trust to the +friendship of the Romans rather than rely on that of Antiochus.'--Vol. +VIII. p. 426. + + [Illustration] + + +FUNERAL OBSEQUIES OF PHILOP[OE]MEN. + +'... When the body had been burned, and the ashes were gathered +together and placed in an urn, the cortege set out to carry the +remains to Megalopolis. This ceremonial resembled a triumphal +celebration rather than a funeral procession, or at least a mixture of +the two. + + [Illustration] + +'The urn, borne by the youthful Polybius, was followed by the entire +cavalry, armed magnificently and superbly mounted. They followed the +procession without exhibiting signs of dejection for so great a loss, +or exultation for so great a victory.'--Vol. VIII. p. 537. + + +ATTEMPTED SACKING OF THE SANCTUARY. + + [Illustration] + +'... Heliodorus, with his guards, entered the temple, and he was +proceeding to force the treasures, when a horse, richly clad, suddenly +appeared, and threw himself on Heliodorus, inflicting several blows +with his hoofs. The rider had a terrible aspect, and his armour +appeared to be of gold. At the same moment two celestial-looking +youths were observed on each side of the violator of the sanctuary +dealing chastisement without cessation, and giving him severe lashes +from the whips they held in their hands.'--Vol. VIII. p. 632. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[1] The most improbable part of this narrative, observes the +historian, is, that Hannibal, in the very centre of the mountains, +should have been able to obtain sufficiently large quantities of +vinegar for the operations. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + Thackeray's last visit to the Charterhouse -- College days -- + Pendennis at Cambridge -- Sketches of University worthies -- + Sporting subjects -- Etchings at Cambridge -- Pencillings in old + authors -- Pictorial Puns -- 'The Snob,' a Literary and + Scientific Journal -- 'Timbuctoo,' a prize poem. + + +In Thackeray's schooldays the Charterhouse enjoyed considerable +reputation under the head-mastership of Dr. Russell, whose death +happened in the same year as that of his illustrious pupil. No one who +has read Thackeray's novels can fail to know the kind of life he led +here. He has continually described his experiences at this celebrated +school--with the venerable archway into Charterhouse Square, which +still preserves an interesting token of the old monkish character of +the neighbourhood. Only a fortnight before his death he was there +again, as was his custom, on the anniversary of the death of Thomas +Sutton, the munificent founder of the school. 'He was there,' says one +who has described the scene, 'in his usual back seat in the quaint old +chapel. He went thence to the oration in the Governor's room; and as +he walked up to the orator with his contribution, was received with +such hearty applause as only Carthusians can give to one who has +immortalised their school. At the banquet afterwards he sat at the +side of his old friend and artist-associate in "Punch," John Leech; +and in a humorous speech proposed, as a toast, the noble foundation +which he had adorned by his literary fame, and made popular in his +works.' 'Divine service,' says another describer of this scene, for +ever memorable as the last appearance of Thackeray in public life, +'took place at four o'clock, in the quaint old chapel; and the +appearance of the brethren in their black gowns, of the old stained +glass and carving in the chapel, of the tomb of Sutton, could hardly +fail to give a peculiar and interesting character to the service. +Prayers were said by the Rev. J. J. Halcombe, the reader of the +house. There was only the usual parochial chanting of the _Nunc +Dimittis_; the familiar Commemoration-day psalms, cxxii. and c., were +sung after the third collect and before the sermon; and before the +general thanksgiving the old prayer was offered up expressive of +thankfulness to God for the bounty of Thomas Sutton, and of hope that +all who enjoy it might make a right use of it. The sermon was preached +by the Rev. Henry Earle Tweed, late Fellow of Oriel College, Oxford, +who prefaced it with the "Bidding Prayer," in which he desired the +congregation to pray generally for all public schools and colleges, +and particularly for the welfare of the house "founded by Thomas +Sutton for the support of age and the education of youth."' + + [Illustration: First Term] + + [Illustration: Second Term] + + [Illustration: 'O crikey, father, there's a jolly great + what's-a-name!'] + +From Charterhouse School Thackeray went to Trinity College, Cambridge, +about 1828, the year of his leaving the Charterhouse, and among his +fellow-students there had Mr. John Mitchell Kemble, the great +Anglo-Saxon scholar, and Mr. Tennyson. With the latter--then unknown +as a poet--he formed an acquaintance which he maintained to the last, +and no reader of the Poet Laureate had a more earnest admiration for +his productions than his old Cambridge associate, Thackeray. At +college, Thackeray kept seven or eight terms, but took no degree; +though he was studious, and his love of classical literature is +apparent in most of his writings, either in his occasional apt two +words from Horace, or in the quaint and humorous adoption of Latin +idioms in which, in his sportive moods, he sometimes indulged. A +recent writer tells us that his knowledge of the classics--of Horace +at least--was amply sufficient to procure him an honourable place in +the 'previous examination.' + + [Illustration: A University Tradesman] + +To the reader who would gain an insight into Thackeray's doings at +Cambridge, we say, 'Glance through the veracious pages in which he +records the University career of Mr. Arthur Pendennis; you will there +at least seize the spirit of his own college days, if perchance you do +not find the facts of the author's own residence circumstantially +stated. Take his studies, for example.' + +Pen's circumstances, tastes, and disposition generally, presuming the +resemblance to be merely accidental, present a tolerably faithful +reflection of those of his biographer at this period. + + [Illustration: UNIVERSITY CHARACTERS + + A Mathematical Lecturer + A Classman + A Grinder + A Plodder + Horsemanship] + +The entire narrative occupies but scant space; and the chronicler +premises that he shall not describe his hero's academical career very +minutely. He is reticent, for he candidly declares that this portion +of a man's life does not bear telling without certain reservations. + + [Illustration: Vingt-et-un] + +Riding, tandem-driving, and four-in-hands enjoyed in those days the +patronage more largely transferred by the present generation to +boating, cricket, billiards, &c. It was probably at the University +that Thackeray began to take an interest in equestrianism: he made +numberless pictures of horses; indeed, he never hesitated to draw them +in every attitude. There is a certain rude fitness and grotesque +vigour about the animals which he sketched at the period of life we +are describing; but his skill in this respect certainly advanced with +practice, and the horses he had occasion to introduce into his cuts +when his fun was at its height--such, for example, as the burlesque +illustrations which we find scattered about the inimitable pages of +Mr. Punch--were really very original and spirited; although perhaps +they are barely the steeds which would be selected by timid riders, +but are rather the tremendous creatures which occur to the +imagination. + + [Illustration: 'Well on'] + + [Illustration: 'Ill off'] + +It is possible that Thackeray's bill to his livery stable keeper kept +pace with his other expenses; but his experience in this respect was +not fruitless. When he had occasion to mix with the world, and +especially while studying society abroad, it embittered his judgment +against the University to realise how little return, beyond that +indefinite and somewhat bumptious quality known as 'tone,' he had +really obtained in return for the expenses of a college career. The +youth of the Continent, with whom he had the fortune to associate for +some time, made him conscious, by their own accomplishments, of those +parts of a gentleman's education which are ignored at our +Universities, and which form, it must be confessed, the standard by +which men are chiefly measured beyond the college walls. His early +papers in 'Fraser,' and especially those supposed to be contributed by +the respectable Fitz-Boodle, drawing upon the experiences he had +gained while sojourning amidst the society of the minor German +principalities, speak the truth on these short-comings in a manner +both forcible and unflinching. + + [Illustration: A few University Favourites] + + [Illustration: 'Just a little playful'] + +Besides his fancy for etching plates of horses and men of ultra and +parodied fashion, for designing plates of the modern rake's progress +at the Universities, and punning cuts, we may assume that Thackeray +shared with his ideal Pendennis most of those tastes indulged by lucky +youths when life is opening, and reflection does not trouble them. +Like his hero, he enjoyed a fine amateur perception for rare editions, +and had a fancy for the glories of costly bindings: we are told that +the tall copies, the gilding, marbling, and blind-tooling put on his +book-shelves were marvellous to behold. The same just appreciation of +true art which, later on, directed Thackeray's criticisms of the +picture galleries, taught Pen to despise the tawdry and meretricious +pictures of horses and opera dancers which often captivate the +judgment of fledglings, and gifted him with a love for fine prints, +for Rembrandt etchings, line-engravings after Strange, and Wilkie's +before the letter; with which he hung his rooms, to the admiration of +those who were capable of understanding his good taste. His mind did +not despise the allurements of dress; and Pen was elaborately attired. +It was a repeated axiom of Thackeray's, that it was good for a youth +at one period to indulge in this vanity of fine apparel as a +preliminary stage to more developed ambitions of standing well with +the world. + + [Illustration: 'Sport in earnest'] + +It will be recollected that eventually Pendennis was plucked; and a +feeling, in some degree morose, and unequivocally indignant, seems to +have taken possession of Thackeray's mind whenever he dwells on the +college careers of the creations of his fancy. In the 'Shabby Genteel +Story,' which he first gave to the world in the columns of 'Fraser' +(1840), he lashes the system for the defects of the individuals who +may have been perverted by its more injurious influences; nor does he +credit the Universities with conferring any solid advantages. He +enquires, somewhat vengefully, the amount of ruin that has been +inflicted by the temptations to which youths are exposed in such a +course of training as is understood in England by 'the education of a +gentleman.' The 'learning to fight for oneself,' he argues, implants +an early habit of selfishness. With 'a pretty knack of Latin +hexameters, and a decent smattering of Greek plays,' the neophyte +has learned, from his forced attendance at chapel, 'to consider the +religious service performed there as the vainest parade in the world.' +He has learned to forget the gentle affections of home, and, under +certain conditions, to despise his belongings. If naturally endowed +with an open hand, he has learned to compete with associates +infinitely wealthier than himself, to despise money on its own merits +perhaps, but to respect it as a means to the questionable advantage of +gaining admission to the company of those whose social positions may +chance to be a source of envy to weaker minds. In return for the two +thousand pounds or so which had been spent in acquiring 'the tone,' he +brings George Brandon--who is certainly as black a sheep as any +University can produce--abruptly away from his college, ruined in +heart and principle; boasting a small quantity of classics and +mathematics; with an utter contempt for his inferiors, an enmity +against his equals; a fulsome desire to be reckoned one of those above +him, and to copy the extravagances incident to high position; an easy, +confident address; sybarite habits, utter heartlessness, and tastes +which must be gratified without scruple as to the means: 'pretty +compensation,' writes the author, 'for all he had lost in gaining +them.' + + [Illustration: Occasional Canters from 'Childe Harold's (first and + last) Pilgrimage'] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Taking in toe] + +His pencil would seem to have been a recreation of Thackeray's +college days as well as of his later career. His first efforts in +etching on copper were probably produced about the period of which we +treat; the subjects of nearly all of these plates--none of which, we +believe, were ever published--were evidently suggested by incidents in +the career of an undergraduate. + +The margins and fly-leaves of a copy of Ovid's 'Opera omnia,' one of +Black's editions of the Classics (1825), offer various whimsical +illustrations of certain portions of the poems; we incline to the +impression, however, that although some of these parodies may be +referred to Thackeray's college days, to others must be assigned a +considerably later date. + + [Illustration: P. OVIDII NASONIS OPERA OMNIA. + P. OVIDII NASONIS] + +'Remediorum Amoris,' 'Medicaminum Faciei,' et 'Halieutici Fragmenta.' + + [Illustration: EPIGRAMMA NASONIS IN AMORES SUOS.] + + Qui modo Nasonis fueramus quinque libelli, + Tres sumus: hoc illi praetulit auctor opus, + Ut iam nulla tibi nos sit legisse voluptas: + At levior demtis poena duobus erit. + + [Illustration: ARTIS AMATORIAE. (Lib. II.)] + + Ecce! rogant tenerae, sibidem praecepta, puellae. + Vos eritis chartae proxima cura meae. + + [Illustration: REMEDIA AMORIS.] + + Hoc opus exegi: fessae date serta carinae + Contigimus portum, quo mihi cursus erat. + Postmodo reddetis sacro pia vota poetae, + Carmine sanati femina virque meo. + + [Illustration: Death mowing down the Loves] + +Another amusement at this period was the designing of pictorial puns, +after the manner introduced by Cruikshank, which was so successfully +practised by Alken, Seymour, and Tom Hood. + + [Illustration: Indian Ink] + + [Illustration: Chalk] + + [Illustration: A full length] + +Among the sketches by the hand of the novelist, which we attribute to +these earlier days, are a number of humorous designs, many of them +equal to the most grotesque efforts of the well-known artists we have +mentioned. + + +LEGAL DEFINITIONS. + +BY A GENTLEMAN WHO MAY BE CALLED TO THE BAR. + + [Illustration: Fee Simple] + + [Illustration: On freeholds--A general clause] + + [Illustration: A declaration] + + [Illustration: A rejoinder] + + [Illustration: Possession.--With remarks on assault and battery] + + [Illustration: An ejectment] + + [Illustration: Fives] + + [Illustration: Beauty is but skin deep] + + +The earliest of Thackeray's literary efforts are associated with +Cambridge. It was in the year 1829 that he commenced, in conjunction +with a friend and fellow-student, to edit a series of humorous papers, +published in that city, which bore the title of 'The Snob: a Literary +and Scientific Journal.' The first number appeared on April 9 in that +year, and the publication was continued weekly. Though affecting to be +a periodical, it was not originally intended to publish more than one +number; but the project was carried on for eleven weeks, in which +period Mr. Lettsom had resigned the entire management to his friend. +The contents of each number--which consisted only of four pages--were +scanty and slight, and were made up of squibs and humorous sketches in +verse and prose, many of which, however, show some germs of that +spirit of wild fun which afterwards distinguished the 'Yellowplush +Papers' in 'Fraser.' A specimen of the contents of this curious +publication cannot but be interesting to the reader. The parody we +have selected, a clever skit upon the 'Cambridge Prize Poem,' appeared +as follows:-- + + [Illustration: Prisoners' base] + + + TIMBUCTOO. + _To the Editor of 'The Snob.'_ + + Sir,--Though your name be 'Snob,' I trust you will not + refuse this tiny 'Poem of a Gownsman,' which was unluckily + not finished on the day appointed for delivery of the + several copies of verses on Timbuctoo. I thought, Sir, it + would be a pity that such a poem should be lost to the + world; and conceiving 'The Snob' to be the most + widely-circulated periodical in Europe, I have taken the + liberty of submitting it for insertion or approbation. + I am, Sir, yours, &c. &c. &c. + +TIMBUCTOO.--PART I. + +_The situation._ + + In Africa (a quarter of the world) + Men's skins are black, their hair is crisp and curl'd, + And somewhere there, unknown to public view, + A mighty city lies, called Timbuctoo. + + [Illustration: Bambooz-ling] + +_The natural history._ + + There stalks the tiger,--there the lion roars, 5 + Who sometimes eats the luckless blackamoors; + All that he leaves of them the monster throws + To jackals, vultures, dogs, cats, kites, and crows; + His hunger thus the forest monarch gluts, + And then lies down 'neath trees called cocoa nuts 10 + +_The lion hunt._ + + Quick issue out, with musket, torch, and brand, + The sturdy blackamoors, a dusky band! + The beast is found--pop goes the musketoons-- + The lion falls covered with horrid wounds. + +_Their lives at home._ + + At home their lives in pleasure always flow, 15 + But many have a different lot to know! + +_Abroad._ + + They're often caught, and sold as slaves, alas! + +_Reflections on the foregoing._ + + Thus men from highest joys to sorrow pass. + Yet though thy monarchs and thy nobles boil + Rack and molasses in Jamaica's isle; 20 + Desolate Afric! thou art lovely yet!! + One heart yet beats which ne'er thee shall forget. + What though thy maidens are a blackish brown, + Does virtue dwell in whiter breasts alone? + Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! 25 + It shall not, must not, cannot e'er be so. + The day shall come when Albion's self shall feel + Stern Afric's wrath, and writhe 'neath Afric's steel. + I see her tribes the hill of glory mount, + And sell their sugars on their own account; 30 + While round her throne the prostrate nations come, + Sue for her rice, and barter for her rum! 32 + +The burlesque prize poem concludes with a little vignette in the +'Titmarsh' manner, representing an Indian smoking a pipe, of the type +once commonly seen in the shape of a small carved image at the doors +of tobacconists' shops. + + * * * * * + +Lines 1 and 2.--See 'Guthrie's Geography.' + +The site of Timbuctoo is doubtful; the Author has neatly expressed +this in the poem, at the same time giving us some slight hints +relative to its situation. + +Line 5.--So Horace: '_leonum arida nutrix._' + +Line 8.--Thus Apollo: + + heloria teuche kynessin + Oionoisi te pasi. + +Lines 5-10.--How skilfully introduced are the animal and vegetable +productions of Africa! It is worthy to remark the various garments in +which the Poet hath clothed the lion. He is called, 1st, the 'Lion;' +2nd, the 'Monster' (for he is very large); and 3rd, the 'Forest +Monarch,' which undoubtedly he is. + +Lines 11-14.--The author confesses himself under peculiar obligations +to Denham's and Clapperton's Travels, as they suggested to him the +spirited description contained in these lines. + +Line 13.--'Pop goes the musketoons.' A learned friend suggested 'Bang' +as a stronger expression, but as African gunpowder is notoriously bad, +the author thought 'Pop' the better word. + +Lines 15-18.--A concise but affecting description is here given of the +domestic habits of the people. The infamous manner in which they are +entrapped and sold as slaves is described, and the whole ends with an +appropriate moral sentiment. The Poem might here finish, but the +spirit of the bard penetrates the veil of futurity, and from it cuts +off a bright piece for the hitherto unfortunate Africans, as the +following beautiful lines amply exemplify. + +It may perhaps be remarked that the Author has here 'changed his +hand.' He answers that it was his intention to do so. Before, it was +his endeavour to be elegant and concise, it is now his wish to be +enthusiastic and magnificent. He trusts the Reader will perceive the +aptness with which he has changed his style; when he narrated facts he +was calm, when he enters on prophecy he is fervid. + +The enthusiasm which he feels is beautifully expressed in lines 25 and +26. He thinks he has very successfully imitated in the last six lines +the best manner of Mr. Pope; and in lines 12-26, the pathetic elegance +of the author of 'Australasia and Athens.' + +The Author cannot conclude without declaring that his aim in writing +this Poem will be fully accomplished if he can infuse into the breasts +of Englishmen a sense of the danger in which they lie. Yes--Africa! If +he can awaken one particle of sympathy for thy sorrows, of love for +thy land, of admiration for thy virtue, he shall sink into the grave +with the proud consciousness that he has raised esteem, where before +there was contempt, and has kindled the flame of hope on the +mouldering ashes of despair! + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + Early Favourites -- Fielding's 'Joseph Andrews' -- Imitators of + Fielding -- 'The Adventures of Captain Greenland' -- 'Jack + Connor' -- 'Chrysal, or the Adventures of a Guinea.' + + +Thackeray's references to his favourite novels, and his liking, which +assumed a sort of personal regard, for the authors who had given him +pleasure, especially in youth, occur constantly throughout his +writings, both early and late. + + [Illustration: Blind man's buff] + +He has told us how in the boyish days spent in the Charterhouse he +began to cultivate an acquaintance with the sterling English humorists +whose works had a deeply-marked influence on his own literary +training. 'Peregrine Pickle' was familiar to him at Greyfriars; later +on, Fielding's masterpieces came into his possession. The buoyant +spirit, vigorous nature, and absence of affectation which are +peculiarly the property of that great novelist, must have highly +delighted the budding author. Not only did Thackeray treasure up 'Tom +Jones' and 'Joseph Andrews,' but by some means he managed to get +possession of various novels now completely obsolete, the productions +of less brilliant contemporaries of Fielding, who were tempted by the +success of his frankly penned novels to attempt to reach a similar +success by walking servilely in the footsteps of the inaugurator of +what may be considered the natural order of English novel writing. + + [Illustration: Bambooz-ling] + +Of 'Joseph Andrews' he has registered his belief that novel-readers +should like this work best, and it is stated by Dr. Warton that +Fielding gave the preference to this early history above his other +writings. The hero, though but dressed in Lady Booby's cast-off +livery, Thackeray declares to be as polite as Tom Jones in his +fustian, or Captain Booth in his regimentals. 'Joseph,' in his +opinion, 'shares the elements of success with those worthies:' he has +large calves, broad shoulders, high courage, and a handsome face; +qualities apparently deemed by the novelist sure passes to +popularity, and sufficiently certain to win the hearts of the +impressionable. + +In the confidentially chatty Roundabout Essays we are favoured with +frequent introductions to the favourites of their author: no +opportunity is lost of making the reader acquainted with his friends. +Let us now turn to one of them--introducing Thackeray's graphic +illustrations. + + [Illustration: Pitch and toss] + + +THE HISTORY OF 'JOSEPH ANDREWS.' + + [Illustration] + +The edition (1742) of Fielding's earliest novel which formed a portion +of Mr. Titmarsh's library has been enriched by certain characteristic +illustrations of the drollest incidents. + +But few of Thackeray's readers can fail to remember his sincere +appreciation of the works of his brilliant predecessor, Justice +Fielding, the founder of that unaffected school of novel-writing which +has since been rendered illustrious by many masterpieces of genius. + +It is singularly appropriate that 'Joseph Andrews' happens to form one +of the series distinguished with Thackeray's pencillings, as no one +acquainted with his writings can fail to recall his tenderly +affectionate allusions to the author of 'Tom Jones.' + +On the fly-leaf of 'Joseph Andrews' occurs the group of Lady Booby +tempting the Joseph of the Georgian era, which is engraved above: the +cut gives, without effort, a key to the wittiest of sly satires; for +we cannot easily forget that merry mischievous Fielding projected this +work as a ludicrous contrast to the exemplary 'Pamela,' whose literary +success brought its well-meaning prosy author so much fame, profit, +and flattery. The wicked irony of Fielding was peculiarly shocking to +sensitive Richardson; and it is certain that the persecuted Pamela +appears shorn of much of her dignity when associated with the +undignified temptations suffered by her unexceptionable brother +'Joseph.' + +The substance of this novel is so generally familiar that the merest +reference will refresh the memories of our readers so far as the +incidents illustrated by these slight pencillings are concerned. + +Parson Adams, it may be remembered, endeavoured to raise a loan on a +volume of manuscript sermons to assist Joseph Andrews, when Tow-mouse +(the landlord), who mistrusted the security, offered excuses. + + [Illustration] + +Poor Adams was extremely dejected at this disappointment. He +immediately applied to his pipe, his constant friend and comfort in +his afflictions; and leaning over the rails, he devoted himself to +meditation, assisted by the inspiring fumes of tobacco. + +He had on a night-cap drawn over his wig, and a short great coat, +which half covered his cassock; a dress which, added to something +comical enough in his countenance, composed a figure likely to attract +the eyes of those who were not over-given to observation. + + [Illustration] + +Joseph Andrews and Parson Adams arrived at the inn in no cheery +plight, the hero's leg having been injured by a propensity for +performing unexpected genuflections, the pride of a horse borrowed by +the parson for the occasion. The host, a surly fellow, treated the +damaged Joseph with roughness, and Parson Adams briskly resented the +landlord's brutality by 'sending him sprawling' on his own floor. His +wife retaliated by seizing a pan of hog's-blood, which unluckily stood +on the dresser, and discharging its contents in the good parson's +face. Mrs. Slipshod entered the kitchen at this critical moment, and +attacked the hostess with a skill developed by practice, tearing her +cap, uprooting handfuls of hair, and delivering a succession of +dexterous facers. + + [Illustration] + +Parson Adams, when he required a trifling loan, ventured to wait on +the swinish Parson Trulliber, whose wife introduced Adams in error, as +'a man come for some of his hogs.' Trulliber asserted that his animals +were all pure fat, and upwards of twenty score apiece; he then dragged +the parson into his stye, which was but two steps from his +parlour-window, insisting that he should examine them before he would +speak one word with him. Adams, whose natural complacence was beyond +any artifice, was obliged to comply before he was suffered to explain +himself, and laying hold of one of their tails, the wanton beast gave +such a sudden spring that he threw poor Adams full length in the mire. +Trulliber, instead of assisting him to get up, burst into laughter, +and, entering the stye, said to Adams, with some contempt, 'Why, dost +not know how to handle a hog?' + + [Illustration] + +To those writers whose heroes are of their own creation, and whose +brains are the chaos whence all their materials are collected--one may +apply the saying of Balzac regarding Aristotle, that they are a second +nature, for they have no communication with the first, by which +authors of an inferior class, who cannot stand alone, are obliged to +support themselves as with crutches; but these of whom I am now +speaking seem to be possessed of those stilts which the excellent +Voltaire tells us, in his letters, _carry the genius far off, but with +an irregular pace_. Indeed, far out of the sight of the reader-- + + _Beyond the realm of chaos and old night._ + + [Illustration] + +The pedlar, introduced in these adventures, while relating to Joseph +Andrews and Parson Adams the early history of Fanny (then returned +from Lady Booby's), proceeded thus: 'Though I am now contented with +this humble way of getting my livelihood, I was formerly a gentleman; +for so all those of my profession are called. In a word, I was drummer +in an Irish regiment of foot. Whilst I was in this honourable station, +I attended an officer of our regiment into England, a recruiting.' The +pedlar then described meeting a gipsy-woman, who confided to him, on +her death-bed, that she had kidnapped a beautiful female infant from a +family named Andrews, and sold her to Squire Booby for three guineas. +In Fanny he professed to recognise the stolen infant. + + +'THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN GREENLAND.' + + [Illustration] + +'The Adventures of Captain Greenland,' an anonymous novel published in +1752, is avowedly 'written in imitation of all those wise, learned, +witty, and humorous authors who either have or hereafter may write in +the same style and manner.' + +The story, divided over a tedious number of books--like the high-flown +romances of the 'Grand Cyrus' order--also resembles those antiquated +and unreal elaborations in the astonishing intrepidity of its +professed hero, Sylvius, who, however, engages, like his model 'Joseph +Andrews,' in situations generally described as menial. Captain +Greenland himself, denuded of his powerful swearing propensities, +might be regarded at this date as an interesting curiosity, a British +commander of the true-blue salt type. A parson, and other characters +suggestive of the acquaintances we make in 'Joseph Andrews,' +contribute to swell the 'dramatis personae.' A portion of the +adventures, which are neither new nor startling, consists of escapes +from Spanish convents, and complications connected with the Romanist +faith, not unlike somewhat kindred allusions in Richardson's 'Sir +Charles Grandison.' + +A stage-coach journey occupies ten chapters of one book; and the +travellers relieve this lengthy travel (from Worcester to London) by +unfinished anecdotes. Captain Greenland relates an adventure with a +highwayman who once stopped his coach. The 'gentleman of the road' +bade the driver 'unrein.' The captain seized his blunderbuss and +'jumped ashore,' thinking it a scandal that a gentleman who had the +honour of commanding one of His Majesty's ships of war should suffer +himself to be boarded and plundered by a single fellow. Being a little +warm and hasty, he salutes his enemy with, '"Blank my heart, but you +are a blank cowardly rascal, and a blank mean-spirited villain! You +scoundrel, you! you lurk about the course here to plunder every poor +creature you meet, that have nothing at all to defend themselves; but +you dare not engage with one that is able to encounter with you. Here, +you rascal! if you dare fight for it, win it and wear it." With that I +pulled out my purse and money, and flung it to the ground between us; +but the faint-hearted blank durst as well be blank'd as come near me. +So after I had swore myself pretty well out of wind (judging from the +captain's ordinary vernacular, the strongest lungs could not have held +out long), I ran towards him with my cock'd blunderbuss ready in my +hand; but he at that very moment tacked about, and sheer'd off. I now +picked up my purse, and went aboard the coach; but, blank my heart! I +can't forgive myself for not saluting the rascal with one broadside.' + + [Illustration] + +At the conclusion of ten chapters of stage-coach journeying, the +author brilliantly observes, 'He has cooped up his readers for a +considerable time,' and the captain swears the coach is somewhat +'over-manned.' + +'At night they were all exceedingly merry and agreeable; and the +generous captain again insisted upon paying the bill himself, which he +found no matter of fault with, but in the customary article (at that +place) of sixpence a head for firing; which he swore was as much as +could have been demanded if they had supp'd at an inn in the middle of +the Pacific Ocean.' + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +The next day's journey being happily concluded, without any +extraordinary occurrences, they arrived about six o'clock in the +afternoon at the 'Blue Boar Inn, in Holborn, where they all agreed to +sup together, and to lie that night.' + +Rosetta the heroine, and her brother, Sir Christopher, attended by the +faithful Sylvius as steward, embark at Portsmouth for Lisbon. After +some thirty hours' sea-sickness, Rosetta resumed her usual +cheerfulness by making merry over her late incapacity. 'Sylvius was +yet as bad as any of them. The knight (her brother) was also in the +same helpless condition, and continued in the same manner till he was +eased of the lofty tosses which were so plentifully bestowed on them +by the restless Biscaian Bay.' They all recover at last, and are +diverted by the shoals of wanton porpoises. 'By and by their remarks +turned on their "little bark's climbing so wonderfully over the vast +ridges of the mountainous waves, which formed perpetual and amazing +prospects of over-rolling hills and vales, as could scarcely meet +belief from those who had never been at sea."' + + +'JACK CONNOR.' + +'Jack Connor' is another instance of the novels written by imitators +of Fielding. Aiming to produce an unaffected and easy style of +fiction, enlivened by incidents of every-day interest, it falls far +short of the standard to which it aspires, as one would reasonably +suppose. The book is anonymous, and is dedicated to Henry Fox, +'Secretary at War,' and was published in 1752; it is founded on a +rambling plot, detailing the adventures of a 'waif' thrown on the +world by his Irish parents. The first volume is mostly occupied by +youthful 'amours,' and ends with the 'Story Of Polly Gunn,' which +unfortunately bears a certain resemblance to De Foe's 'Moll Flanders,' +in a condensed form. + +'Jack Connor' had a patron, a marvellously proper man, the 'model of +righteous walking,' and the dispenser of admirable precepts, over +which the hero grew eminently sentimental; but directly after acted in +direct opposition to the teaching of this worthy guardian. The +pencilling we have selected from the margin of vol. i. illustrates a +passage describing the scandals of the kitchen, which affixed to Jack +Connor's benefactor, Mr. Kindly, the questionable honour of being +father to his protege. + +'I hope,' said Tittle, 'your la'ship won't be angry with me, only they +say that the boy is as like Mr. Kindly as two peas; but they say, +"Mem"----' + +'Hold your impertinent tongue,' said my lady; 'is this the occasion of +so much giggle? You are an ungrateful pack. I am sure 'tis false,' &c. + + [Illustration] + +'Indeed,' said Tittle, 'if I've said anything to offend your +la'ship----' + +'Yes, madam,' said my lady, 'you have greatly offended me; and so you +all have,' &c. + +Poor Mrs. Tittle was not only vastly disappointed, but greatly +frightened. She informed the rest of the reception she had met with. +The servants were quite surprised at the oddity of her ladyship's +temper, and quoted many examples diametrically opposite. + +'I'm sure,' said Mrs. Tittle, 'had I told as much to Squire Smart's +lady, we should have laughed together about it the livelong night!' + +'Ay, ay,' said Mrs. Matthews, 'God bless the good Lady Malign! When I +waited on her in Yorkshire, many a gown, and petticoat, and smock have +I gotten for telling her half so much; but, to be sure, some people +think themselves wiser than all the world!' + +'Hold, hold,' said Tom Blunt, the butler. 'Now, d'ye see, if so be as +how my lady is wrong, she'll do you right; and if so be as how my lady +is right, how like fools and ninnihammers will you all look!' + +In vol. ii. we find Jack Connor resorting to the reputable profession +of 'gentleman of the road;' he plans his first 'stand-and-deliver' +venture in company with two experienced highwaymen. Hounslow is the +popular spot selected for his _debut_. Thither he proceeds in a +post-chaise from Piccadilly, having arranged for his horse in advance. +Two circumstances favour him; he knows a family in the neighbourhood, +and he wears a surtout of a cloth that is blue on one side and red on +the other, and that has no other lining. In a blue coat with scarlet +cuffs he orders wine, arranges for a return post-chaise, and enquires +the address of the people whose name he knows. He then departs, +secures his horse, and turns his coat; he is behind-hand, and the +coach just then coming up, the two highwaymen lead the attack: one is +shot, and the other disabled and captured. Connor escapes in the +confusion, ties up his horse, turns his coat, and walks back to the +inn for his post-chaise, which is delayed, one horse being wanting. +The landlord enters. 'There, now,' said he, 'is two fine gentlemen +that have made a noble kettle of fish of it this morning!' + + [Illustration] + +'Bless me, my dear,' said his wife, 'what's the matter?' + +'Not much; only a coach was stopped on the heath by three highwaymen, +and two of 'em is now taken, and at the next inn.' + +'Dear sirs,' said the landlady, ''tis the most preposteroustest thing +in life that gentlefolks won't travel in post-chaises; and then +they're always safe from these fellows.' + +'Well,' said the husband, 'I must send after the third, who escaped; +I'll engage to find out his scarlet coat before night.' + +Connor, recollecting his situation, chimed in with the hostess, and +spoke greatly against the disturbers of the public. At last he took +leave, mounted his chaise, and got safe to London; but often thought +the horses very bad. + + [Illustration] + +Jack Connor, after various vicissitudes, was at last reduced to +service, and was employed as secretary by Sir John Curious, an infirm +compound of wealth and avarice, married, in his last days, to a young +wife. Connor became unpopular with the ladies of the establishment, on +account of his over-correct behaviour. One day he was busy reading to +Sir John, when Mr. Sampson, a wine merchant, entered. The knight had a +great regard for this gentleman, and was extremely civil to him. +'Well, friend Sampson,' said he, 'time was when we used to meet +oftener; but this plaguy gout makes me perform a tedious quarantine, +you see.' + +'Ah, Sir John,' replied Mr. Sampson, 'you are at anchor in a safe +harbour; but I have all your ailments, and am buffeted about in stormy +winds.' + +'Not so, not so,' answered the knight; 'I hope my old friend is in no +danger of shipwreck. No misfortunes, I hope.' + +'None,' said Mr. Sampson, 'but what my temper can bear. I have lost my +only child, just such a youth as that (pointing to Jack). I have lost +the best part of my substance by the war, and I have found old age and +infirmities.' + +Sir John regretted that he could not assist his friend with a loan, +but he paid his account for wine, and handed over Connor to assist Mr. +Sampson in his business. + + [Illustration] + +After a long letter on the state of Ireland--which appeared even in +1744 a question beyond the wisdom of legislation to dispose of +satisfactorily--the author apologises for his digressions with +considerable novelty. 'I am afraid I have carried my reader too far +from the subject-matter of this history, and tried his patience; but I +assure him that my indulgence has been very great, for, at infinite +pains, I have curtailed the last chapter (the Irish question) at least +sixty pages. Few know the difficulty of bridling the imagination, and +reining back a hard-mouthed pen. It sometimes gets ahead, and, in +spite of all our skill, runs away with us into mire and dirt; nay, at +this minute I find my quill in a humour to gallop, so shall stop him +short in time.' + +The life of Connor is chequered. He finally figures as a captain of +dragoons in the campaign in Flanders, under the 'Culloden' Duke. He +performs deeds of valour with the army, and rescues a Captain Thornton +from three assailants, preserves his life and secures his gratitude. +He next appears at Cadiz, on a commercial errand, and he regains his +long-lost mother in Mrs. Magraph, a wealthy widow, to whom he had +made love. This lady, who had saved thirty thousand pounds, was very +communicative; she finally recognised him as her son, and acquainted +him that Sir Roger Thornton, the life of whose son he had preserved, +was in reality his father, and not Connor, as he had previously +believed. The hero then set out for Paris. The ship was ready to sail. +All were concerned at losing so polite a companion, and he was loaded +with praises and caresses. His mother could not bear it with that +resignation she at first thought; but, however, she raised her +spirits, and with many blessings saw him set sail. + + [Illustration] + +The voyage was prosperous, and he arrived at Marseilles, safe and in +good health. He took post for Paris, and embraced his dear friend +Captain Thornton, as indicated in the marginal illustration. Jack +Connor marries a lord's daughter, and becomes an Irish landed +gentleman. The author concludes with the regret that he has not the +materials to reveal his hero's future. + + +'CHRYSAL, OR THE ADVENTURES OF A GUINEA.' + + [Illustration] + +We gather from the copy of this work, which was formerly on the +shelves of Thackeray's library, that 'Chrysal' had reached seven +editions in 1771, having been originally published in 1760, with a +highly laudatory dedication to William Pitt. + +The bookseller's prefix to the first edition is slightly imaginative. +To describe its nature briefly, the publisher, while taking a country +stroll in Whitechapel, then an Arcadian village, was overtaken by a +shower, and sought shelter in a cottage where a humble family were +breakfasting. His eye was caught by a sheet of manuscript which had +done duty for a butter-plate. Its contents interested him, and he +learnt that the chandler next door wrapped up her commodities in such +materials. He made an experimental purchase, which was done up in +another leaf of the paper. Cautious enquiries elicited that brown +paper being costly, and a quantity of old 'stuff' having been left by +a long deceased lodger of her departed mother's, the manuscript was +thus turned into use. The enterprising publisher invested 1_s._ 6_d._ +for brown paper, and secured the entire remaining sheets in exchange. +Finding, on perusal, that he had secured matter of some literary +value, he pursued his investigations with the same lady, and learned +that the author was an unfortunate schemer, who, after wasting his +entire fortune in seeking the philosopher's stone, perceived his folly +too late, wrote the story of 'Chrysal' in ridicule of the fallacy of +golden visions, and expired before he could realise any profit by the +publication of his papers. The bookseller secretly resolved to admit +the good woman to a half share of the profits of her 'heirship,' and +'Chrysal' appeared. It excited some attention, and had various charges +laid to its account. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +The scheme is ingenious, tracing the guinea from its projection, and +giving an account of the successive stages of its changing existence. +We are admitted to contemplate the influence of gold in various +situations; with dissertations on 'traffic,' and, in short, follow the +history of a guinea through the possession of numerous owners, male +and female, while the reader is by these means introduced to some very +curious situations. + + [Illustration] + +The little design in the margin occurs in the history of a horned +cock, a parody on collectors of curiosities, describing the manner in +which a noble 'virtuoso' was imposed upon by a cunning vendor of +wonderful productions. There was considerable competition to secure +the composite phenomenon, and when his lordship obtained it, a +convocation of 'savants' was summoned to report on the marvel. The +bird, a game-cock, had unfortunately taken offence at an owl in a +neighbouring cage, and when the company arrived it had rubbed off one +of the horns and disturbed the other. While arguing that the bird had +shed its horn in the course of nature, one of the company dropped some +snuff near the bird's eye, who thereupon shook his head with +sufficient violence to dislodge the remaining horn; exposing the +imposture, and overwhelming the virtuoso with such vexation that the +cock was sacrificed to AEsculapius forthwith. + + [Illustration] + +The guinea gets into the hands of a justice of the peace, in the shape +of a bribe, and a very remarkable state of corruption and traffic in +iniquity is displayed. The little pencilling of a quaint figure +holding the scales occurs on the margin of a paragraph which records a +warm dispute between the justice and his clerk on the proportioning of +their plunder, the clerk revolting against an arrangement by which it +is proposed to confine him to a bare third! The dispute is checked by +the arrival of some customers, matrons dwelling within the justice's +district, who come to compound with him in regular form 'for the +breach of those laws he is appointed to support.' + +The sketches pencilled in 'Chrysal' do not follow the story very +closely; indeed, they can hardly be intimately associated with the +text they accompany. This, however, is quite an exceptional case; the +drawings found in Mr. Thackeray's books being, in nearly every +instance, very felicitous embodiments of the subject-matter of the +works they illustrate. + +On a fly-leaf of 'Chrysal' is a jovial sketch of light-hearted and +nimble-toed tars, forming a realistic picture of the good cheer a +guinea may command, and immediately suggestive of bags of prize-money, +apoplectically stored with the yellow boys which, in the good old +days, were supposed to profusely line the pockets of true salts when +they indulged in the delights of a spell on shore: this was the time +when sailors experimented in frying, as the story represents them, +superfluous watches in bacon-fat, as a scientific relaxation, when the +ships were paid off at Portsmouth, and 'jolly tars' had invested in +more timekeepers than the exigencies of punctuality strictly demanded. + + [Illustration] + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + Continental Ramble -- A Stolen Trip to Paris -- Residence at + Weimar -- Contributions to Albums -- Burlesque State -- German + Sketches and Studies -- The Weimar Theatre -- Goethe -- Souvenirs + of the Saxon city -- 'Journal kept during a visit to Germany.' + + +We cannot take leave of Thackeray's college days without referring to +the first trip he made to Paris during a vacation, on his own +responsibility, and, indeed, without consulting his pastors and +masters on the subject. This little episode occurred when he was +nineteen years old; and, excepting for considerable remorse at the +subterfuge by which he had got away, he seems to have enjoyed himself +very much. + + [Illustration: 1828] + + [Illustration: Coachee, 1830] + + [Illustration: 1828] + + [Illustration: A dowager] + + [Illustration: A German court chaplain] + + [Illustration: A postilion] + + [Illustration: Apollo surrounded by his tuneful band. (Sketched in a + music-book.)] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Rara avis in terris, nigroque simillima cigno. + (Album oddities. Weimar, 1830)] + + [Illustration: Weimar, 1830] + + [Illustration: A Royal banquet] + + [Illustration: A Weimar sketch] + + [Illustration: Schiller's plays. Weimar, 1830] + +Soon afterwards Thackeray seems to have repaired to Weimar, in Saxony, +where, as he describes it, he lived with a score of young English +lads, 'for study, or sport, or society.' Mr. G. H. Lewes, in his 'Life +of Goethe,' tells us that Weimar albums still display with pride the +caricatures which the young artist sketched at that period. 'My +delight in those days,' says Mr. Thackeray, 'was to make caricatures +for children'--a habit, we may add, which he never forgot. Years +afterwards, in the fulness of his fame, revisiting Weimar, he found, +to his great delight, that these were yet remembered, and some even +preserved still; but he was much more proud to be told, as a lad, that +the great Goethe himself had looked at some of them. In a letter to +his friend Mr. Lewes, inserted by the latter in the work referred to, +Thackeray has given a pleasing picture of this period of his life, and +of the circle in which he found himself. + + [Illustration: Church militant] + + [Illustration: Triumphal march of the British forces] + + [Illustration: Opera at Weimar] + +Readers familiar with the 'Rose and the Ring,' Thackeray's popular +Christmas book, will recognise in the sketch on page 93 the artist's +fondness for playing with royalty--especially with pantomimic royalty. +The Weimar court was full of old ceremony, and yet most pleasant and +homely withal. Thackeray and his friends were invited in turns to +dinners, balls, and assemblies there. Such young men as had a right +appeared in uniforms, diplomatic and military. Some invented gorgeous +clothing: the old Hof Marschall, M. de Spiegel, who had two of the +most lovely daughters ever looked on, being in nowise difficult as to +the admission of these young Englanders. On winter nights they used +to charter sedan chairs, in which they were carried through the snow +to these court entertainments. Here young Thackeray had the good luck +to purchase Schiller's sword, which formed a part of his court +costume, and which hung in his study till the day of his death, to put +him (as he said) in mind of days of youth the most kindly and +delightful. + + [Illustration: Shakspeare at Weimar] + + [Illustration: Operatic reminiscences at Weimar] + +Here, too, he had the advantage of the society of his friend and +fellow-student at Cambridge, Mr. W. G. Lettsom, later Her Majesty's +Charge-d'Affaires at Uruguay, but who was at the period referred to +attached to the suite of the English Minister at Weimar. To the +kindness of this gentleman he was indebted in a considerable degree +for the introductions he obtained to the best families in the town. +Thackeray was always fond of referring to this period of his life. + + [Illustration: A German fencing bout] + +The spirited sketch of a German Fencing Bout given on the preceding +page, was probably drawn on the spot during the progress of the +combat. The collegians enable us to construct a realistic picture of +the student of a generation ago. + + [Illustration: German student of the period. (Weimar, 1830)] + +The object of the combatants being to inflict a prick or scratch in +some conspicuous part of the face, the rest of the person is carefully +padded and protected. In our days the loose cap with its pointed peak +has disappeared before its gay muffin-shaped substitute; but the +traditional pride in a scarred face is still observable. Even at the +present day we find the youths of German University towns rejoicing in +a seam down the nose, or swaggering in the conscious dignity of a +slashed cheek, as outward and visible evidence of the warlike soul +within. + + [Illustration: Goethe. A sketch from the Fraser portrait] + + [Illustration: Goethe + (Sketched at Weimar, 1830)] + +Devrient, who appeared some years since at the St. James's Theatre in +German versions of Shakspeare, was performing at Weimar at that +period, in 'Shylock,' 'Hamlet,' 'Falstaff,' and the 'Robbers;' and the +beautiful Madame Schroeder was appearing in 'Fidelio.' + +The young English students at Weimar spent their evenings in +frequenting the performances at the theatres, or attending the levees +of the Court ladies. + +After an interval of nearly a quarter of a century, Thackeray passed a +couple of days in the well-remembered place, where he was fortunate +enough to find still some of the friends of his youth. With his +daughters he was received by Madame de Goethe with the kindness of old +days; the little party once again drank tea in that famous cottage +in the park which had been a favourite resort of the illustrious poet. + + [Illustration: A souvenir] + + [Illustration: Album sketches] + +During his residence at Weimar in 1831 Thackeray saw and shared a +great deal of pleasant life; and although the world of the little +German capital was one in miniature, the experience he gained in it +was turned to good account in after years. It was at this visit he had +the happiness of meeting the great Goethe, who had then withdrawn from +society: he would, nevertheless, receive strangers with marked +cordiality; and the tea-table of his daughter-in-law was always spread +for the entertainment of these favoured young sojourners. + + [Illustration: A swell] + + [Illustration: A buck] + +In October 1830, we find Thackeray writing from Weimar to a bookseller +in Charterhouse Square, for a liberal supply of the Bath post paper on +which he wrote his verses and drew his countless sketches. On certain +sheets of this paper, after his memorable interview with Goethe, we +find the young artist trying to trace from recollection the features +of the remarkable face which had deeply impressed his fancy (see p. +100). There are portraits in pen and ink, and others washed with +colour to imitate more closely the complexion of the study he was +endeavouring to work out. The letter to which we here refer contains +an order of an extensive character, for the current literature, which +throws some light on his tastes at this period:--'Fraser's _Town and +Country Magazine_ for August, September, October, and November. The +four last numbers of the _Examiner_ and _Literary Gazette_, _The Comic +Annual_, _The Keepsake_, and any others of the best annuals, and +_Bombastes Furioso_, with Geo. Cruikshank's illustrations. The parcel +to be directed to Dr. Frohrib, Industrie Comptoir, Weimar.' + +Among the ingenuous confessions of Fitz-Boodle in 'Fraser,' we are +admitted to three romantic episodes, all of them being directed as +warnings to over-fervent young men--'Miss Loewe' (Oct. 1842), +'Dorothea' (Jan. 1843), 'Ottilia' (Feb. 1843): none of these tender +records of his early German experiences are reprinted with Thackeray's +'Miscellanies.' We learn incidentally in 'Ottilia' the delightful fee +accorded to gallant drivers on the occasion of sledging parties, which +formed a leading amusement of a Saxon winter. A large company of a +score or more sledges was formed. Away they went to some +pleasure-house previously fixed upon as a _rendezvous_, where a ball +and supper were ready prepared, and where each _cavalier_, as his +partner descended, has the 'delicious privilege of saluting her.' + +Thackeray has turned the observations he made during his residence in +the Saxon city to famous satirical account in the construction of his +typical Court of Pumpernickel, situated on the Pump rivulet. We meet +the most effective sarcastic sketches of the mimic court in various +parts of his writings, great and small. It was in these sister Duchies +that Pitt Crawley served as an _attache_ to the British +representative. It was while dining at the table of Tapeworm, the +Secretary of our Legation there, that the author declares he first +learnt the sad particulars of the career of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, _nee_ +Rebecca Sharp. It was here, too, in the theatre that he describes +first meeting with Amelia, then Mrs. Osborne, attended by her brother +Jos. Sedley, with her son George, and his guardian, faithful Major +Dobbin; when the little party were sojourning, as favoured visitors, +in the famous dominions (stretching nearly ten miles) of his +Transparency Victor Aurelius XVIII. The reader will remember being +presented, in one of the later chapters of 'Vanity Fair,' with a +humorous burlesque of the entire Grand Ducal Court--its belongings, +society, administration, foreign legations, politics, fetes, and what +not; with a detailed description of the noble bridge thrown across +the Pump by his renowned Transparency Victor Aurelius XIV., whose +effigy rises above the erection; his foot calmly resting on the neck +of a prostrate Turk, and surrounded by water-nymphs and emblems of +victory, peace, and plenty. The prince is smiling blandly, and +directing with his outstretched truncheon the attention of the passer +to the Aurelian Platz, where this great-souled hero had commenced a +palace that would have been the wonder of the age, if the funds for +its completion had not been exhausted. A previous introduction to the +splendours of Kalbsbraten-Pumpernickel had been afforded the readers +of 'Fraser,' where we are informed that it contained a population of +two thousand inhabitants, and a palace (_Monblaisir_, the rival of +Versailles) which would accommodate about six times that number. The +Principality furnished a contingent of three and a half men to the +Germanic Confederation; only three of whom returned from the field of +Waterloo. This army corps was commanded by a General (Excellency), two +major-generals, and sixty-four officers of lower grades; all noble, +all knights of the order of Kartoffel, and almost all chamberlains to +his Highness the Grand Duke. A band of eighty performers led the +troops to battle in time of war; executed selections daily, in more +peaceful intervals, for the admiration of the neighbourhood; and at +night did duty on the stage. + + [Illustration] + +There was supposed to be a chamber of representatives, who were not +remembered to have ever sat, home and foreign ministers, residents +from neighbouring courts, law-presidents, town councils, &c., and all +the usual great government functionaries. The Court had its chamberlains +and marshals; the Grand Duchess her noble ladies-in-waiting, and +beauteous maids of honour. Besides the sentries at the palace, there +were three or four men on duty, dressed as hussars; but the historian +could not discover that they ever rode on horseback. + + [Illustration: A German peasant maiden] + +The Prime Minister had lodgings in a second floor, and the other great +officers were similarly accommodated: their titles were, however, a +distinction in themselves--Otho Sigismond Freyherr von Schlippenschlopps, +for instance, Knight Grand Cross of the Ducal Order of the Two Necked +Swan of Pumpernickel, of the Porc-et-Sifflet of Kalbsbraten, Commander +of the George and Blue Boar of Dummerland, Excellency and High +Chancellor of the United Duchies, is described as enjoying, with his +private income and the revenues of his offices, a total of nearly +three hundred pounds per annum, and, in consequence of this handsome +provision, being able to display such splendour as few officers of the +Grand Ducal Crown could afford. + + [Illustration: Sleighing] + +These high-sounding titles were not confined to the military and +diplomatic bodies: the memorable town pump had been designed by +_Herr Oberhof und bau Inspektor von Speck_; whose wife was honourably +referred to as 'The Grand-ducal Pumpernickelian-court-architectress, +and Upper-palace-and-building-inspectress, Von Speck.' + +The preceding sketch of sleighing, which has all the life and spirit +of a drawing executed whilst the recollection of its subject is still +fresh, was evidently made at the period of Thackeray's residence at +Weimar. He has left various pen-and-ink dottings of the quaint houses +in this town, which correspond with the little buildings in the +landscape on p. 101. + +Among the volumes originally in Thackeray's possession was a book, +privately printed, containing portions of the diaries of Mrs. Colonel +St. George, written during her sojourn among the German courts, 1799 +and 1800. As the margins of the book are pencilled with slight but +graphic etchings illustrative of the matter, we insert a few extracts +while treating of Thackeray's early experience of Weimar, as +harmonising with this part of our subject. It may be premised that the +actual sketches belong to a considerably later date. + + +'JOURNAL KEPT DURING A VISIT TO GERMANY IN 1799, 1800.' + +'_Vienna, July 18, 1800._--Dined at La Gardie's; read "Les Meres +Rivales" aloud, while she made a _couvre-pied_ for her approaching +confinement; her mother worked a cap for the babe, and he sat down to +his netting: it was a black shawl for his wife. A fine tall man, a +soldier, too, with a very martial appearance, netting a shawl for his +wife amused me. + +'_Dresden, Oct. 2._--Dined at the Elliots'.[2] While I was playing at +chess with Mr. Elliot, came the news of Lord Nelson's arrival, with +Sir William and Lady Hamilton, Mrs. Cadogan, mother of the latter, and +Miss Cornelia Knight, famous for her "Continuation of Rasselas" and +her "Private Life of the Romans."[3] + + [Illustration: A fancy portrait] + +'_Oct. 3._--Dined at Mr. Elliot's, with only the Nelson party. It is +plain that Lord Nelson thinks of nothing but Lady Hamilton, who is +totally occupied by the same object. She is bold, forward, coarse, +assuming, and vain. Her figure is colossal, but, excepting her feet, +well shaped. Her bones are large, and she is exceedingly _embonpoint_. +She resembles the bust of Ariadne: the shape of all her features is +fine, as is the form of her head, and particularly her ears; her teeth +are a little irregular, but tolerably white; her eyes light blue, with +a brown spot in one, which, though a defect, takes nothing away from +her beauty and expression. Her eyebrows and hair are dark, and her +complexion coarse. Her expression is strongly marked, variable, and +interesting; her movements in common life ungraceful; her voice loud, +yet not disagreeable. Lord Nelson is a little man, without any +dignity; who, I suppose, must resemble what Suwarrow was in his youth, +as he is like all the pictures I have seen of that general. Lady +Hamilton takes possession of him, and he is a willing captive, the +most submissive and devoted I have seen. Sir William is old, infirm, +all admiration of his wife, and never spoke to-day but to applaud her. +Miss Cornelia Knight seems the decided flatterer of the two, and never +opens her mouth but to show forth their praise; and Mrs. Cadogan, Lady +Hamilton's mother, is what one might expect. After dinner we had +several songs in honour of Lord Nelson, written by Miss Knight, and +sung by Lady Hamilton. She puffs the incense full in his face; but he +receives it with pleasure and sniffs it up very cordially. The songs +all ended in the sailor's way, with "Hip, hip, hip, hurra!" and a +bumper with the last drop on the nail, a ceremony I had never heard of +or seen before. + +'_Oct. 4._--Accompanied the Nelson party to Mr. Elliot's box at the +opera. She and Lord Nelson were wrapped up in each other's +conversation during the chief part of the evening. + +'_Oct. 5._--Went, by Lady Hamilton's invitation, to see Lord Nelson +dressed for court. On his hat he wore the large diamond feather, or +ensign of sovereignty, given him by the Grand Signior; on his breast +the order of the Bath, the order he received as Duke of Bronte; the +diamond star, including the sun or crescent, given him by the Grand +Signior; three gold medals, obtained by three different victories; and +a beautiful present from the King of Naples. On one side is His +Majesty's picture, richly set, and surrounded with laurels, which +spring from two united laurels at bottom, and support the Neapolitan +crown at top; on the other is the Queen's cipher, which turns so as to +appear within the same laurels, and is formed of diamonds on green +enamel. In short, Lord Nelson was a perfect constellation of stars and +orders. + +'_Oct. 7._--Breakfasted with Lady Hamilton, and saw her represent in +succession the best statues and paintings extant. She assumes their +attitude, expression, and drapery with great facility, swiftness, and +accuracy. Several Indian shawls, a chair, some antique vases, a wreath +of roses, a tambourine, and a few children are her whole apparatus. +She stands at one end of the room, with a strong light on her left, +and every other window closed. Her hair is short, dressed like an +antique, and her gown a simple calico chemise, very easy, with loose +sleeves to the wrist. She disposes the shawls so as to form Grecian, +Turkish, and other drapery, as well as a variety of turbans. Her +arrangement of the turbans is absolutely sleight-of-hand; she does it +so quickly, so easily, and so well. It is a beautiful performance, +amusing to the most ignorant, and highly interesting to the lovers of +art. The chief of her imitations are from the antique. Each +representation lasts about ten minutes. It is remarkable that, though +coarse and ungraceful in common life, she becomes highly graceful, and +even beautiful, during this performance. After showing her attitudes, +she sang, and I accompanied. Her voice is good and very strong, but +she is frequently out of tune; her expression strongly marked and +various; but she has no flexibility, and no sweetness. She acts her +songs.... + +'Still she does not gain upon me. I think her bold, daring, vain even +to folly, and stamped with the manners of her first situation much +more strongly than one would suppose, after having represented +majesty, and lived in good company fifteen years. Her ruling passions +seem to me vanity, avarice, and love for the pleasures of the table. +Mr. Elliot says, "She will captivate the Prince of Wales, whose mind +is as vulgar as her own, and play a great part in England." + +'_Oct. 8._--Dined at Madame de Loss's, wife to the Prime Minister, +with the Nelson party. The Electress will not receive Lady Hamilton, +on account of her former dissolute life. She wished to go to court, on +which a pretext was made to avoid receiving company last Sunday, and I +understand there will be no court while she stays. Lord Nelson, +understanding the Elector did not wish to see her, said to Mr. Elliot, +"Sir, if there is any difficulty of that sort, Lady Hamilton will +knock the Elector down, and ---- me, I'll knock him down too!" + + [Illustration] + +'_Oct. 9._--A great breakfast at the Elliots', given to the Nelson +party. Lady Hamilton repeated her attitudes with great effect. All the +company, except their party and myself, went away before dinner; after +which Lady Hamilton, who declared she was passionately fond of +champagne, took such a portion of it as astonished me. Lord Nelson was +not behindhand, called more vociferously than usual for songs in his +own praise, and after many bumpers proposed the Queen of Naples, +adding, "She is my queen; she is queen to the backbone." Poor Mr. +Elliot, who was anxious the party should not expose themselves more +than they had done already, and wished to get over the last day as +well as he had done the rest, endeavoured to stop the effusion of +champagne, and effected it with some difficulty, but not till the lord +and lady, or, as he calls them, Antony and Moll Cleopatra, were pretty +far gone. I was so tired, I returned home soon after dinner; but not +till Cleopatra had talked to me a great deal of her doubts whether the +queen would receive her, adding, "I care little about it. I had much +sooner she would settle half Sir William's pension on me." After I +went, Mr. Elliot told me she acted Nina intolerably ill, and danced +the _Tarantula_. During her acting, Lord Nelson expressed his +admiration by the Irish sound of astonished applause, and by crying +every now and then, "Mrs. Siddons be ----!" Lady Hamilton expressed +great anxiety to go to court, and Mrs. Elliot assured her it would not +amuse her, and that the Elector never gave dinners or suppers. "What?" +cried she, "no guttling!" Sir William also this evening performed +feats of activity, hopping round the room on his backbone, his arms, +legs, star and ribbon all flying about in the air. + +'_Oct. 10._--Mr. Elliot saw them on board to-day. He heard, by chance, +from a king's messenger, that a frigate waited for them at Hamburg, +and ventured to announce it formally. He says: "The moment they were +on board, there was an end of the fine arts, of the attitudes, of the +acting, the dancing, and the singing. Lady Hamilton's maid began to +scold, in French, about some provisions which had been forgot. Lady +Hamilton began bawling for an Irish stew, and her old mother set about +washing the potatoes, which she did as cleverly as possible. They were +exactly like Hogarth's actresses dressing in the barn."' + +At Berlin, the fair diarist was introduced to Beurnonville, the French +minister, who had gained notoriety for his services at Valmy and +Gemappes. He was one of the commissioners despatched by the convention +to arrest Dumouriez, who, it may be remembered, treated him with +marked cordiality; the special envoy of the republic was, however, +arrested, with his companions, and delivered by the general into the +hands of the Austrians. + +'_Nov. 18-23._--I have been to a great supper at Count Schulenberg's. +As usual, I saw Beurnonville, who was very attentive. He looks like an +immense cart-horse, put by mistake in the finest caparisons; his +figure is colossal and ungainly; and his uniform of blue and gold, +which appears too large even for his large person, is half covered +with the broadest gold lace. His _ton_ is that of a _corps-de-garde_ +(he was really a corporal), but when he addresses himself to women, +he affects a softness and _legerete_, which reminds one exactly of the +"Ass and the Spaniel," and his compliments are very much in the style +of M. Jourdain. It is said, however, he is benevolent and +well-meaning. + + [Illustration] + +'_Nov. 30._--Supped at Mad. Angestroem's, wife of the Swedish Minister, +who is perfectly indifferent to all the interests of Europe, provided +nothing interrupts her reception of the Paris fashions, for which she +has an uncommon avidity. "_N'est-ce pas, ma chere, que ceci est +charmant? C'est copie fidelement d'un journal de Paris, et quel +journal delicieux!_" + + [Illustration] + +'She wears very little covering on her person, and none on her arms of +any kind (shifts being long exploded), except sleeves of the finest +cambric, unlined and _travaille au jour_, which reach only half way +from the shoulder to the elbow. She seems to consider it a duty to +shiver in this thin attire, for she said to Lady Carysfort, "_Ah, +Miledi, que vous etes heureuse, vous portez des poches et des jupes!_" +I conversed chiefly with Beurnonville and Pignatelli. Beurnonville +says, "_Mon secretaire est pour les affaires, mon aide-de-camp pour +les dames, et moi pour la representation._" The people about him are +conscious he is _peu de chose_, but say, "_Qu'importe? on est si bon +en Prusse, et si bien dispose pour nous._" A person asked Vaudreuil, +aide-de-camp to Beurnonville, if the latter was a _ci-devant_. "_Non," +dit-il, "mais il voudroit l'etre_"--a reply of a good deal of +_finesse_, and plainly proving how unconquerable the respect for rank, +and wish among those who have destroyed the substance to possess the +shadow.' + +FOOTNOTES: + +[2] The Right Hon. Hugh Elliot, brother to Lord Minto, at that date +English Minister at Dresden; he was afterwards made Governor of +Madras. + +[3] _Marcus Flaminius; or, Life of the Romans, 1795._ + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + Thackeray's Predilections for Art -- A Student in Paris -- First + Steps in the Career -- An Art Critic -- Introduction to Marvy's + English Landscape Painters -- Early Connection with Literature -- + Michael Angelo Titmarsh, a contributor to 'Fraser's Magazine' -- + French Caricature under Louis Philippe -- Political Satires -- A + Young Artist's life in Paris -- Growing Sympathy with Literature. + + +The Weimar reminiscences show how early Thackeray's passion for art +had developed itself. One who knew him well affirms that he was +originally intended for the Bar; but he had, indeed, already +determined to be an artist, and for a considerable period he +diligently followed his bent. He visited Rome, where he stayed some +time, and subsequently, as we shall see, settled for some time in +Paris, 'where,' says a writer in the 'Edinburgh Review' for January +1848, 'we well remember, ten or twelve years ago, finding him, day +after day, engaged in copying pictures in the Louvre, in order to +qualify himself for his intended profession. It may be doubted, +however,' adds this writer, 'whether any degree of assiduity would +have enabled him to excel in the money-making branches, for his talent +was altogether of the Hogarth kind, and was principally remarkable in +the pen-and-ink sketches of character and situation which he dashed +off for the amusement of his friends.' This is just criticism; but +Thackeray, though caring little himself for the graces of good drawing +or correct anatomy, had a keen appreciation of the beauties of +contemporary artists. Years after--in 1848--when, as he says, the +revolutionary storm which raged in France 'drove many peaceful +artists, as well as kings, ministers, tribunes, and socialists of +state for refuge to our country,' an artist friend of his early Paris +life found his way to Thackeray's home in London. This was Monsieur +Louis Marvy, in whose _atelier_ the former had passed many happy +hours with the family of the French artist--in that constant +cheerfulness and sunshine, as his English friend expressed it, which +the Parisian was now obliged to exchange for a dingy parlour and the +fog and solitude of London. A fine and skilful landscape-painter +himself, M. Marvy, while here, as a means of earning a living, made a +series of engravings after the works of our English landscape-painters. +For some of these his friend obtained for M. Marvy permission to take +copies in the valuable private collection of Mr. Thomas Baring. The +publishers, however, would not undertake the work without a series of +letter-press notices of each picture from Mr. Thackeray; and the +latter accordingly added some criticisms which are interesting as +developing his theory of this kind of art. The artists whose works are +engraved are Calcott, Turner, Holland, Danby, Creswick, Collins, +Redgrave, Lee, Cattermole, W. J. Mueller, Harding, Nasmyth, Wilson, E. +W. Cooke, Constable, De Wint, and Gainsborough. + + [Illustration] + +It was, we believe, in 1834, and while residing for a short period in +Albion Street, Hyde Park, the residence of his mother and her second +husband, Major Carmichael Smyth, that Mr. Thackeray began his literary +career as a contributor to 'Fraser's Magazine.' The pseudonyms of +'Michael Angelo Titmarsh,' 'Fitz Boodle,' 'Yellowplush,' or 'Lancelot +Wagstaff,' under which he afterwards amused the readers of the +periodicals, had not then been thought of. His early papers related +chiefly to the Fine Arts; but most of them had some reference to his +French experiences. He seems to have had a peculiar fancy for Paris, +where he resided, with brief intervals, for some years after coming of +age, and where most of his magazine papers were written. + + [Illustration: The Two-penny Post-bag] + + [Illustration: LE DECES POIRE] + +The drawing on p. 117 represents the despair (_desespoir_) of the +Orleans family at the threatened political decease (_deces_) of Louis +Philippe, familiar to Parisians as the 'Pear' (_Poire_), from the +well-known resemblance established by the caricaturists between the +shape and appearance of the king's head and a Burgundy pear. Thackeray +resided in Paris during the contests of the king with the +caricaturists (under the banner of Phillipon), and he was much +impressed by their wit and artistic power. If the reader will turn to +the 'Paris Sketch Book,' he will see Mr. Thackeray's own words upon +the subject. + + [Illustration: Under the Second Empire] + +We may state, for the assistance of the reader unacquainted with the +French caricatures of that period, that the figure to the right with +an elongated nose is M. d'Argout; the gentleman at the foot of the +bed, astride a huge squirt (the supposed favourite implement with +every French physician), is Marshal Lobau. Queen Marie Amelie, the Duc +d'Orleans, and other members of the royal family, are in the +background. + + [Illustration] + +One of Thackeray's literary associates has given some amusing +particulars of his Paris life, and his subsequent interest in the +city, where he had many friends and was known to a wide circle of +readers. 'He lived,' says this writer, 'in Paris "over the water," and +it is not long since, in strolling about the Latin Quarter with the +best of companions, that we visited his lodgings, Thackeray inquiring +after those who were already forgotten--unknown. Those who may wish to +learn his early Parisian life and associations should turn to the +story of "Philip on his Way through the World." Many incidents in that +narrative are reminiscences of his own youthful literary struggles +whilst living modestly in this city. Latterly, fortune and fame +enabled the author of "Vanity Fair" to visit imperial Paris in +imperial style, and Mr. Thackeray put up generally at the Hotel de +Bristol, in the Place Vendome. Never was increase of fortune more +gracefully worn or more generously employed. The struggling artist and +small man of letters, whom he was sure to find at home or abroad, was +pretty safe to be assisted if he learned their wants. I know of many +a kind act. One morning, on entering Mr. Thackeray's bedroom in Paris, +I found him placing some napoleons in a pill-box, on the lid of which +was written, "One to be taken occasionally." "What are you doing?" +said I. "Well," he replied, "there is an old person here who says she +is very ill and in distress, and I strongly suspect that this is the +sort of medicine she wants. Dr. Thackeray intends to leave it with her +himself. Let us walk out together."[4] Thackeray used to say that he +came to Paris for a holiday and to revive his recollections of French +cooking. But he generally worked here, especially when editing the +"Cornhill Magazine."'[5] + + [Illustration: The political Morgiana] + + [Illustration: One of the ornaments of Paris] + +Thackeray's affection for Paris, however, appears to have been founded +upon no relish for the gaieties of the French metropolis, and +certainly not upon any liking for French institutions. His papers on +this subject are generally criticisms upon political, social, and +literary failings of the French, written in a severe spirit which +savours more of the confident judgment of youth than of the calm +spirit of the citizen of the world. The reactionary rule of Louis +Philippe, the Government of July, and the boasted Charter of 1830, +were the objects of his especial dislike; nor was he less unsparing in +his views of French morals as exemplified in their law courts, and in +the novels of such writers as Madame Dudevant. The truth is, that at +this Period Paris was, in the eyes of the art-student, simply the +Paradise of young painters. Possessed of a good fortune--said to have +amounted, on his coming of age in 1832, to 20,000_l._--the young +Englishman passed his days in the Louvre, his evenings with his French +artist acquaintances, of whom his preface to Louis Marvy's sketches +gives so pleasant a glimpse; or sometimes in his quiet lodgings in the +Quartier Latin in dashing off for some English or foreign paper his +enthusiastic notices of the Paris Exhibition, or a criticism on French +writers, or a story of French artist life, or an account of some great +_cause celebre_ then stirring the Parisian world. This was doubtless +the happiest period of his life. In one of these papers he describes +minutely the life of the art student in Paris, and records his +impressions of it at the time. + + [Illustration: A decorated artist] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Back to the past] + +The painter's trade in France, he discovers, is a good one; it is more +appreciated, respected, and even more liberally patronised than with +us. While in England there is no school but the 'Academy' open to the +young student--in those days South Kensington did not exist, and our +artists are not accustomed to grant young beginners admission to their +studios at pleasure, as has long been the practice abroad--in France +excellent schools abound, where, under the eye of a practised master, +a young man can learn the rudiments of his art for about ten pounds a +year, including all kinds of accessory instruction, models, &c.; while +he can, out of doors, obtain all sorts of incentives to study for +'just nothing at all.' + +The life of the young artist in France, we are told, is the merriest, +most slovenly existence possible. He comes to Paris with some forty +pounds a year settled on him to keep him and pay all his expenses. He +lives in a quarter where all his surroundings are of the same +order--art and artists; from morning till night, he is in an +atmosphere of painting; he arrives at his _atelier_ very early, and +often gains a good day's study before the doors of our Academy are +unbolted. He labours, without a sense of drudgery, among a score of +companions as merry and poor as himself. + + [Illustration] + +It is certain that Thackeray had developed a talent for writing long +before he had abandoned his intention of becoming a painter, and that +he became a contributor to magazines at a time when there was at least +no necessity for his earning a livelihood by his pen. It is probable, +therefore, that it was his success in the literary art, rather than +his failure, as has been assumed, in acquiring skill as a painter, +which gradually drew him into that career of authorship, the pecuniary +profits of which became afterwards more important to him. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[4] A similar story has been told of Goldsmith, which, indeed, may +have suggested the pill-box remedy in the instance in the text. + +[5] Paris correspondent, _Morning Post_. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + 'Elizabeth Brownrigge: a Tale,' 1832 -- 'Comic Magazine,' 1832-4 + -- 'National Standard and Literary Representative,' 1833-4 -- + 'Flore et Zephyr, Ballet Mythologique,' 1836 -- On the Staff of + 'Fraser's Magazine' -- Early Connection with Maginn and his + Colleagues -- The Maclise Cartoon of the Fraserians -- + Thackeray's _Noms de Plume_ -- Charles Yellowplush as a Reviewer + -- Skelton and his 'Anatomy of Conduct' -- Thackeray's Proposal + to Dickens to illustrate his Novels -- Gradual Growth of + Thackeray's Notoriety -- His genial Admiration for 'Boz' -- + Christmas Books and Dickens' 'Christmas Carol' -- Return to Paris + -- Execution of Fieschi and Lacenaire -- Daily Newspaper Venture + -- The 'Constitutional' and 'Public Ledger' -- Thackeray as Paris + Correspondent -- Dying Speech of the 'Constitutional' -- + Thackeray's Marriage -- Increased Application to Literature -- + The 'Shabby Genteel Story' -- Thackeray's Article in the + 'Westminster' on George Cruikshank -- First Collected Writings -- + The 'Paris Sketch Book' -- Dedication to M. Aretz -- 'Comic Tales + and Sketches,' with Thackeray's original Illustrations -- The + 'Yellowplush Papers' -- The 'Second Funeral of Napoleon,' with + the 'Chronicle of the Drum' -- 'The History of Samuel Titmarsh + and the great Hoggarty Diamond' -- 'Fitzboodle's Confessions' -- + 'The Irish Sketch Book,' with the Author's Illustrations -- 'The + Luck of Barry Lyndon' -- Contributions to the 'Examiner' -- + Miscellanies -- 'Carmen Lilliense' -- 'Notes of a Journey from + Cornhill to Grand Cairo,' with the Author's Illustrations -- + Interest excited in Titmarsh -- Foundation of 'Punch' -- + Thackeray's Contributions -- His comic Designs -- 'The Fat + Contributor' -- 'Jeames's Diary.' + + +Before proceeding to the well-known productions from the pen of our +great novelist, which are familiar enough to all, it may interest the +reader to glance at his juvenile efforts in literature and art. It +will be found that we dwell more minutely upon the consideration of +these early sketches than is absolutely warranted by their importance +in comparison with his great works; but we are tempted to enlarge on +the papers which illustrate the outset of the author's career, under +the conviction that they are but little known to the majority of his +admirers. + +We have already noticed Thackeray's characteristic hand in the pages +of 'The Snob,' where his native skill in parody was first evidenced in +print. We have incidentally cited the satirical force of his observant +powers at the age of twenty and during his residence in Germany; +though, it must be confessed, these early impressions may owe much of +their strength to the training he had gone through during the interval +between the time he actually spent in the scenes described, and the +period at which the sketches were first given to the public. + +From the date of its establishment the columns of 'Fraser' abound in +sly satires directed against the school of fiction which then happened +to find favour with the romance-reading public. Ainsworth and Bulwer +had made daring experiments with new and startling materials for +exciting the imagination of their believers; and the encouragement +held out by the unequivocal success of the unwholesome order of novels +was sufficient to excite the wrath of those writers and critics who +strove to lead the popular taste back to healthier literature. +Thackeray's keen appreciation of the genuine humour of Fielding, +Scott, and similar authors, who founded the interest of their stories +on such sounder principles as were dictated by intelligent study of +human nature, and who mainly relied for their incidents on the +probable occurrences, the actions and passions, of actual life, was +sufficient to qualify him as a subtle opponent of the unnatural style; +and he appears to have early enlisted his pen on the side of the +Fraserians, who were, perhaps, the bitterest antagonists which the +apostles of these unlikely anomalies were fated to encounter in the +development of their novel theories. + +In the August and September numbers of 'Fraser' for 1832 appeared the +forerunner of those burlesque romances for which Thackeray's name +became afterwards famous. The sketch was published when the budding +satirist was little over twenty-one years of age; and the just and +scarifying criticism which it contains is sufficiently remarkable in +so youthful a writer. But there is the strongest internal evidence +that the travestie of 'Elizabeth Brownrigge: a Tale,' proceeds from +the author who afterwards narrated the 'Story of Catharine;' who +interrupted the early chapters of 'Vanity Fair' to introduce certain +felicitous parodies; and who, in the pages of 'Punch,' produced the +irresistible series of 'Prize Novelists' which remain unsurpassed. + +'Elizabeth Brownrigge' was dedicated to the author of 'Eugene Aram;' +and its writer described himself as a young man who had for a length +of time applied himself to literature, but had hitherto entirely +failed to derive any emolument from his exertions. His tragedies, +comedies, operas and farces, his novels, poems, and romances, had +already accumulated into an alarming pile of unacceptable and +unprofitable MSS. On examining the grounds of their refusal, he was +surprised to find one identical phrase occurring in every letter +rejecting his talented productions: the poems are all pronounced +'classical, pure in taste, and perfect in diction;' the novels are +acknowledged to be 'just in character, interesting in plot, pathetic, +unexceptionable in sentiment;' but unhappily they have all one glaring +defect in common--they are '_not of a popular description_.' +Enlightened by the reflection that those who write to live must write +to please, he determined to master the popular taste; the otherwise +faultless papers were put by until fashions should change in the +reading world; and his laundress was sent to the circulating library +for the last most popular novel--the author, disappointed but not +discouraged, being resolved to study its style and manner, investigate +the principles on which it was written, to imbibe its spirit, and to +compose his next new work as nearly as possible upon the same model. +The popular novel brought was 'Eugene Aram.' + +From its pages the hitherto unsuccessful writer caught a complete +solution of the errors and defects of his former productions. From the +frequent perusal of older works of imagination, he had learned the +unfashionable practice of endeavouring so to weave the incidents of +his stories as to interest his readers in favour of virtue and to +increase their detestation of vice. By the study of 'Eugene Aram' he +was taught to mix vice and virtue up together in such an inextricable +confusion as to render it impossible that any preference should be +given to either, or that one, indeed, should be at all distinguishable +from the other. + +'I am inclined,' continues the writer, in his dedication, 'to regard +the author of "Eugene Aram" as an original discoverer in the world of +literary enterprise, and to reverence him as the father of a new +_lusus naturae_ school.' There is no other title by which his manner +could be so aptly designated. Being in search of a tender-hearted, +generous, sentimental, high-minded hero of romance, he turned to the +'Newgate Calendar,' and looked for him in the list of men who have cut +throats for money, among whom a person in possession of such qualities +could never have been met with at all. + +'In "Elizabeth Brownrigge" it will be the author's sole ambition to +impart to his efforts some portion of the intense interest that +distinguishes the works of Mr. Bulwer, and to acquire the fame which +the skilful imitation of so great a master may hope to receive from +the generosity of an enlightened and delighted public. In taking his +subject from that walk of life to which "Eugene Aram" had directed his +attention, many motives conspired to fix the writer's choice on the +heroine of the ensuing tale: she is a classic personage--her name has +been already "linked to immortal verse" by the muse of Canning. +Besides, it is extraordinary that, as Mr. Bulwer had commenced a +tragedy under the title of "Eugene Aram," the dedicator had already +sketched a burletta with the title of "Elizabeth Brownrigge." In his +dramatic piece he had indeed been guilty of an egregious and +unpardonable error: he had attempted to excite the sympathies of his +audience in favour of the murdered apprentices; but the study of Mr. +Bulwer disabused him of so vulgar a prejudice, and, in the present +version of her case, all the interest of the reader and all the +pathetic powers of the author will be engaged on the side of the +murderess. He has taken a few slight liberties with the story, but +such alterations have the sanction of Bulwer's example and the +recommendation of his authority. As he has omitted any mention of the +wife of his Eugene, his imitator has not thought it necessary to +recall the reader's attention to the husband and sixteen children of +his Elizabeth. As the hero of "Eugene Aram" is endowed with more +learning and virtue than he possessed, and is converted from the usher +of a grammar school at Hayes into the solitary student of a lone and +romantic tower in a distant county; the author of "Elizabeth" presumed +to raise the situation of his heroine, and, instead of portraying her +as the wife of a saddler in Fleur-de-lis Court, and midwife of the +poor-house, he has represented her in his tale as a young gentlewoman +of independent fortune, a paragon of beauty, a severe and learned +moral philosopher, and the Lady Bountiful of the village of +Islington.' + +The first book opens with a sample of the MS. Burletta: the contents +of chapter i. are sufficiently descriptive of the spirit of the +whole--_Islington: the Red Cabbage_ (so called from a very imperfect +representation of a red rose on its sign-board)--_Specimen of Lusus +Naturae_--_Philosophers of the Porch_--_Who is she?_ + +According to a richly worked out principle of opposites, this droll +conception proceeds with incidents and even names taken directly from +the 'Newgate Calendar,' but rivalling 'Eugene Aram' itself in +magnificence of diction, absurdity of sentiment, and pomp of Greek +quotation. The trial scene and Elizabeth's speech in her own defence +abound in clever points--indeed, the humour of the whole composition +is original and striking; although the later burlesques from +presumably the same hand have made us familiar with similar features +brought to maturity. + +During the intervals of his residence in London--for Paris may be +considered to have been almost his head-quarters at this +period--Thackeray had made the acquaintance of most of the brilliant +writers and rising artists of the day. It is certain that before he +became popularly known as a contributor to 'Fraser,' where his papers +contributed in no inconsiderable degree to the success of the +magazine, he was concerned in more than one literary venture. Between +1832 and 1834 appeared a small miscellany, the 'Comic Magazine,' now +tolerably obscure: in its duodecimo pages may be found the writings of +several authors whose names have since become famous. It was profusely +illustrated: the major part of the cuts, some of them of particular +excellence, were by the hand of the gifted and unfortunate Seymour. It +seems that Thackeray was to some extent interested in this +publication, to which he probably supplied both drawings and verses; +although, at this date, it is difficult to distinguish his individual +contributions, especially as they happen to be less characteristic +than the average of his works; the cuts, although full of fun, having +suffered from the necessity of reducing the cost of engraving, as the +expenses of the publication became onerous. + +There existed in 1833 a critical journal, 'devoted to literature, +science, music, theatricals, and the fine arts,' rejoicing in the +slightly high-flown title of the 'National Standard:' it was one of +the early enterprises in the way of cheap publication, and, in spite +of its name, conscientiously aimed at supplying a want that has never +yet been adequately filled up--namely, the circulation of sterling +independent criticism. We are not informed how Thackeray first became +interested in this publication, but, from the hints thrown out in his +later writings, it seems that he was induced to become, in some part, +proprietor of the venture. In his sketch of 'Mr. Adolphus Simcoe,' who +is introduced into the pages of 'Punch' (1842) as a typical ex-owner +of a miscellany, the 'Lady's Lute,' which came to a disastrous end, we +are informed that, presuming a person of literary tastes should, from +some unfortunate combination of circumstances, conceive a passion to +become the editor of a magazine, to assemble about him 'the great +spirits of the age,' and to be able to communicate his own +contributions direct to the public, a paper is sure to be for +sale--'indeed, if a gentleman has a mind to part with his money, it is +very hard if he cannot find some periodical with a broom at its +mast-head.' + +In the eighteenth number of the 'National Standard' (May 4) we +recognise Thackeray's pencil in a very fair cut of Louis +Philippe--quite in the style of his contributions to 'Punch' some ten +years later. The likeness is undoubtedly good and characteristic. _Le +roi des Francais_ is straddling in an undignified attitude--the fair +lily of France is trodden under one of his clumsy feet; he wears an +ill-fitting plain citizen suit; one hand is in his pocket, 'counting +his money;' the other rests on his redoubtable umbrella, the favourite +target of satirists. + +In his beaver he sports the tricolor badge, 'like an overgrown +pancake,' as the verses below declare. His face wears a truculent, +soured, dissatisfied twist; 'no huzzas greet his coming,' we are +informed. + + '_He stands in Paris as you see him before ye, + Little more than_ a snob. _There's an end of the story._' + +Number 19 of the journal opens with an address of decidedly +Titmarshian turn, which tells the story of the new state of things +pretty lucidly, and with a fine flush of spirits. + +Under the heading of this 'National Standard' of ours there originally +appeared the following: 'Edited by F. W. N. Bayley,[6] Esq., the late +Editor and Originator of "The National Omnibus," the first of the +cheap Publications: assisted by the most eminent Literary Men of the +Day.' + +'Now we have _change tout cela_: no, not exactly _tout cela_, for we +still retain the assistance of a host of literary talent; but +Frederick William Naylor Bayley has gone. We have got free of the Old +Bailey and changed the governor. Let it not be imagined for a moment +that we talk in the slightest disparagement of our predecessor in +office; on the contrary, we shall always continue to think him a +clever fellow, and wish him all kinds of success in the war he is +carrying on against Baron Dimsdale. He apparently has exchanged the +pen for the sword. + +'Having the fear of the fate of Sir John Cam Hobhouse before our eyes, +we give no pledges, expressed or understood, as to the career which it +is our intention to run. We intend to be as free as the air. The world +of books is all before us where to choose our course. Others boast +that they are perfectly independent of all considerations extraneous +to the sheet in which they write, but none we know of reduce that +boast to practice: we therefore boast not at all. We promise nothing, +and if our readers expect nothing more, they will assuredly not be +disappointed.' + +A remarkably well-executed portrait of Braham, the singer, appears in +the number. The eminent vocalist's rotund figure is dressed in +stage-nautical fashion, with a tremendously striped shirt, rolling +collar, sailor's knot, no waistcoat, jacket and short trousers, hose, +and pumps with buckles; his somewhat coarse Israelitish _caput_ is hit +off with truth and spirit; over his head is a glory formed of a +jew's-harp encircled in bays; he is before a theatrical background. A +dealer in old clo', of the singer's nationality, crowned with triple +hats, and carrying the professional bag, is introduced beneath a +feudal castle. Below the portrait is a sonorous parody of one of +Wordsworth's sonnets, attributing to Braham the 'majesty and +loveliness' by which he originally captivated the world and the ears +of Sovereign Anne, in whose benign reign, according to a footnote, +this 'Lion of Judah' 'made his first appearance in England.' The +jew's-harp, circled with blooming wreath, is seen of verdant bays; and +thus are typified-- + + '_The pleasant music and the baize of green, + Whence issues out at eve Braham with front serene!_' + +Certain picture criticisms in the same number bear evidence of the +hand afterwards well known in the galleries of paintings. + +'_Fine Arts._--_Somerset House Exhibition._--(140) Portrait of His +Majesty King William IV. in the uniform of the Grenadier Guards, by D. +Wilkie. His Majesty stands in a dun fog, and wears a pair of dirty +boots; his cocked-hat is in his hand, and his crown is in a corner. +This large picture, in spite of the great name attached to it, seems +to us a failure; Mr. Wilkie has not at all succeeded in the attempt to +give an expression of intelligence to the physiognomy of our reverend +sovereign.' + +In the following week this verdict is modified; it is stated that the +late critic has been dismissed as clearly incompetent for his office. +The picture, it is acknowledged, is a good work, and it was utterly +unreasonable to expect any painter could succeed in throwing an +intelligent expression into the royal countenance. + +The writer also extravagantly praises the portrait of an alderman, on +the grounds that his address at Clapham, inscribed on a letter held in +the hand of the picture, is 'painted as natural as though it had been +written.' + +To No. 20, Thackeray contributed a portrait of Baron Nathan +Rothschild, in which the satirist does not flatter the 'pillar of +change.' Some verses below the woodcut are not more complimentary to +'the first Baron Juif; by the grace of his pelf, not the King of the +Jews, but the Jew of the Kings. The taste of Plutus is censured, in +that he has selected as prime favourite 'a greasy-faced compound of +donkey and pig.' After propitiating the great financier in this +fashion, the satirist leaves his subject what he vainly wishes the +Baron would leave him--'a_lone_ in his glory!' + +In an appreciative review of Sarah Austin's translation of Falk's +'Characteristics of Goethe' the readers of the 'National Standard' are +admitted to a glimpse of personal reminiscences: 'The fountain +opposite Goethe's house is not particularly picturesque, and the +people who frequent it are not remarkable for their beauty. But there +are beauties disclosed to the poetic eye which the common observer +will endeavour in vain to discover; and the philosopher can make +sermons on running brooks, such as the fountain at Weimar, which, we +confess, appeared to us a most ordinary waterspout. + +'Appended to the work is a portrait of its hero, which, however, does +not bear the slightest resemblance to him.' + +In No. 21 occurs the first (and last) of our 'London Characters'--the +sketch of an advertising medium of Chartism; a wretched, +terror-stricken boardsman of the dispersed 'National Convention;' +bearing the legends--'No Taxes,' 'Victory or Death,' and 'Britons, be +firm!' but his placards interfere with his escape from the police by +tripping up their bearer. It is worthy of note that this cut, with +slight alterations, appeared later in the 'Comic Magazine' already +mentioned. + +In No. 22 Thackeray has produced a good _croquis_ of Manager Bunn, who +is displayed with his toupee and well-brushed, heavy-jowled +mutton-cutlet whiskers, with a wig-bag seen over the shoulder of his +court coat; an elaborately embroidered satin waistcoat; 'stuck to his +side a shining sword;' 'all in his velvet breeches,' silk stockings +and buckled shoes; just as, ten years later, the 'Punch' wags were +wont to picture the 'poet Alfred.' Handsome tall candlesticks are held +in either hand: these imposing dips are sparkling with the names of +Schroeder and Malibran respectively: + + '_What gallant cavalier is seen + So dainty set before the queen, + Between a pair of candles? + Who looks as smiling and as bright, + As oily and as full of light, + As is the wax he handles._' + +Another cut--the person of a corpulent but dejected Cupid, his fat +feet resting on conventional clouds, while his chubby wrists and +ankles are confined in heavy irons--forms the headpiece to some easy +lines: a burlesque poem entitled 'Love in Fetters, a Tottenham Court +Road Ditty,' showing how dangerous it is for a gentleman to fall in +love with an 'Officer's Daughter,' an 'Ower True Tale.' The narrator +describes his passion for a fair Israelite, to whom he has sent a +'letter full of love;' and he is roused out of his slumbers by a +mysterious stranger, who inquires if he is the writer. The gentleman +in bed admits the fact; says the visitor, 'an answer's sent.' But +alas! 'by a parchment slip he could discern that by him stood a +bailiff stern, fair Rosamunda's sire!' and the romantic victim +dolefully concludes:-- + + '_I served the daughter with verse and wit, + And the father served me with a writ; + So here in iron bars I sit + In quod securely stowed, + Being captivated by a she, + Whose papa captivated me; + All at the back + Of the Tabernac + In Tottenham Court Road._' + +Besides the cuts mentioned is a burlesque group of chorus-singers from +'Zauberfloete,' produced when Manager Bunn was lessee of both Covent +Garden and Drury Lane Theatres. + +Sir Peter Laurie is also favoured with a portrait, sketched from his +appearance on the civic chair: spectacles, gold chain, and all +complete, surrounded with a wreath of full-blown laurels. Some punning +verses to 'Sir Peter' are inscribed with the likeness. + +After this Thackeray seems to have gone back to Paris, from whence he +writes, as 'Foreign Correspondent,' in June of the same year, sending +a drawing of a brace of figures characteristic of the new and old +_regimes_. + +'The costume of Jeune France is as extraordinary as its literature. I +have sent a specimen, which I discovered the other day in the +Tuileries. It had just been reading the "Tribune," and was leaning +poetically against a tree: it had on a red neckcloth and a black +flowing mane; a stick or club, intended for ornament as well as use; +and a pair of large though innocent spurs, which had never injured +anything except the pantaloons of the individual who wore them. Near +it was sitting an old gentleman, in knee-breeches and a cocked-hat, +who is generally to be seen of a sunny day in the Tuileries, reading +his Crebillon or his prayer-book: a living illustration of times +past--a strange contrast with times present!' + +A week later arrives a review of the dramatic pieces then performing +at the Paris Theatres, with a sketch of Ligier in the character of +Richard in 'Les Enfants d'Edouard;' a wonderful stagey figure, not +unlike some of the theatrical souvenirs in the early part of this +volume. The sinister monarch wears the traditional ermine-bound cloak, +with a fierce feather in his hat; he sports trunks (on the left knee +is the order of the garter) and pointed shoes; his right hand grasps a +dagger; his lank locks are turned over his ears, giving his face a +sufficiently ruffianly character, which is intensified by a scowling +eye, and a set mouth in Kean's best manner. + +The young artist also paid a visit to some savages, the 'Charruas,' +South American Indians, who were then lionising in Paris. The +correspondent sends his readers a translation of an extravagant +article of the flowery order, written by Jules Janin, under the +inspiration of having been to see the noble aborigines, concerning +whom the English journalist romantically adds, 'They play cards all +day, laugh, eat raw beef, and drink all they can get.' + +In the July following it was determined by the French ministry to +throw a sop to popularity by crowning the column in the Place Vendome +with the new statue of Napoleon--the very figure which has since known +such vicissitudes. Their Paris correspondent sent the 'National +Standard' a sketch of the figure of the Emperor; and in the same +number occurs a spirited article, describing the first interview of +the statue with his gallant countrymen. + +'The Little Corporal, in his habit of war, puts his bronze glass to +his bronze eye, and after some usual preliminaries, proceeds to +address _la grande nation_: "I thank you for having placed me in a +situation so safe, so commanding, and so salubrious: from this +elevation I can look on most parts of your city. I see the churches +empty, the prisons crowded, the gambling-houses overflowing. Who, with +such sights before him as these, gentlemen, and you, would not be +proud of the name of Frenchmen?" (Great cheers.) "I apprehend that the +fat man with the umbrella, whom I see walking in the gardens of the +Tuileries, is the present proprietor. May I ask what he has done to +deserve such a reward from you? Does he found his claim on his own +merits, or on those of his father?" (A tremendous row in the crowd; +the police proceed to _empoigner_ several hundred individuals.) "Go +your ways" (said the statue, who was what is vulgarly called a dab at +an _impromptu_), "go your ways, happy Frenchmen! You have fought, you +have struggled, you have conquered: for whom? for the fat man with the +umbrella!"' The Emperor, in continuation of his speech, observes: 'I +perceive by your silence that his words carry conviction;' when he +stops to make the discovery that there is not a single person left in +the Place Vendome, his entire audience having been carried off by the +police. + +Later on, the journal seems to languish; the portraits still occur at +intervals. Mr. Crockford, of gaming reputation, was flattered with a +cut of his effigy, just about the time a paper-raid was raised against +the 'play-hells' in the sweeping columns of 'Fraser;' 'Crock' is +complimented with some lines, 'more free than welcome,' alluding to +'his eye of a whiting, and mouth of a cod,' and referring to his old +trade of fishmonger; the lines, which are signed L. E. U., add, 'he +now sticks to poultry, to pigeons, and rooks.' + + '_Yet he still makes a cast, and not seldom a haul, + Still angles for flats, and still nets what he can, + And shows, every night, 'mid his shoal great and small, + The trick how a gudgeon is made of a man._' + +It is presumable that the Paris correspondent did not abandon his +paper; he sends more cuts, and foreign letters from all parts, full of +the most interesting private intelligence; and notably one from +'Constantinople,' supplying an imaginative gossiping exposure of all +the complicated intrigues discernible to those who may be behind the +scenes at the Porte; and last, but by no means least, he sends them +one of the capital stories which he afterwards reprinted, with fresh +illustrations, in the 'Paris Sketch Book,'--even the 'Devil's Wager,' +with a strikingly original sketch of Sir Rollo in his desperate +travels to redeem his soul, borne through the clouds with, for greater +security, the tail of Mercurius unpleasantly curled round the +apoplectic throttle of his deceased highness the late Count of +Chauchigny, &c. &c. The moral of this veracious tale was promised 'in +several successive numbers;' but the wonderful story and its excellent +illustration, superior we fancy to those in the collected series, were +ineffectual to establish the success of the 'National Standard,' on +which they were partially thrown away. + +A flourishing and facetious leader, in the thirty-sixth number, placed +the circulation at the astonishing figures of 84,715; and particularly +advertised that the price, in spite of the unprecedented arrangements +that had been perfected for rendering their paper the leading feature +of the age, would continue 'only twopence.' A few numbers later it was +confessed that the journal would henceforth appear at threepence, as +it was found impossible to successfully carry out all their great +programme of improvements at a lesser price. Thackeray's contributions +after this are either missing, or his spirits were possibly dashed by +the pecuniary responsibilities of the undertaking. After a time the +'National Standard' was forced to haul down its colours: it lasted +from January 5, 1833, to February 1, 1834, when it not improbably left +a neat train of liabilities for at least one of its contributaries to +discharge. It is certain that its failure entailed disagreeable +consequences. + +We all remember that Mr. Adolphus Simcoe's little fortune went down in +the 'Lady's Lute,' while its versatile proprietor completed his misery +in Her Majesty's Asylum of the Fleet. + +Still fresher must it be in the minds of Thackeray's readers, that the +narrator of 'Lovel the Widower,' in the character of Mr. Batchelor, +relates how, having these same literary aspirations, and a certain +command of ready money withal, he too was persuaded that to be part +proprietor of a periodical was rather a fine thing. It may not be +forgotten that in his first venture, coming to London, blushing with +his college experiences, he had emulated the bargain of Moses +Primrose, and the memorable gross of spectacles in shagreen cases. A +college acquaintance, with a smooth tongue, and sleek, sanctified +exterior, and a queer bill-discounter (no one indeed but our old +friends, the Rev. C. Honeyman, M.A., and Mr. Sherrick, wine-merchant, +&c., to whom we were early introduced in the 'Newcomes'), had somehow +got hold of that neat literary paper the 'Museum,' of which eligible +property this innocent gentleman became the purchaser. + +The failure of the 'National Standard and Literary Representative' +seems for a time to have damped Thackeray's enthusiasm so far as fresh +adventures on his own account were concerned; but in the March of 1836 +his first attempt at independent authorship appeared simultaneously in +London and Paris. + +'This publication,' it was observed in the 'North British Review,' +shortly after the humourist's death, 'at the time when he still hoped +to make his bread by art, is, like indeed everything he either said or +did, perfectly characteristic;' and it has been so utterly forgotten +that we are encouraged to describe the plates _seriatim_. We may add +that it was published in Paris by Ritter and Goupil, and by Mitchell +in London; though it is now so scarce that we were unsuccessful in +tracing a copy in the Catalogue of the British Museum. + +It is a small folio, in a tinted wrapper, and consists of nine +subjects in all, which are printed on India paper. Like all +Thackeray's satires, his fun is directed to a purpose; and by the very +realism of his pencil he successfully turns to ridicule one of his pet +aversions--the dancing man, so frequently assailed in his writings. + +The series bears the title of 'Flore et Zephyr, Ballet Mythologique, +par Theophile Wagstaff,' and is dedicated to Flora, who herself +figures in place of her name upon the cover. In a rose-bedizened stage +bower, where the foliage is evidently cut out by the stage-carpenter, +stands the exquisite _premiere danseuse_, looking as ancient, +self-satisfied, and repulsive as some of these heroines occasionally +appear. She is all alone in the centre of the stage, but the old faded +smirk and the eyelids modestly drooped express her consciousness that +she is the object of attraction to a full house. Her fascinating smile +is tempered with the air of bashful modesty, conveyed by crossing her +bony and sinewy arms and large hands upon her lean chest; her throat +is particularly camel-like, and the muscles are unmistakably +prominent; her nose is long, and has a pendulous droop, which divides, +by its shadow, her ample semicircular mouth, and gives an effect of +sentimental absurdity; a blonde wreath of ample dimensions and +indefinite design surrounds her raven locks; a few straggling hairs +are in places plastered on her forehead in unpremeditated love-locks; +her dress, of simple uncreased muslin, stands out like a white tulip, +and is carelessly girt by a wreath of flowers. Beneath the skirts +appear her professional legs, arranged of course in an attitude +perfectly at variance with nature or grace, the heels touching, and +the long white feet pointing to precisely opposite poles of the +compass. In maiden meditation, she is sighing for her Zephyr before +some thousand eyes, the focus of all the double-barrelled lorgnettes +in the theatre. + +In the following plate, _La Danse fait ses offrandes sur l'autel de +l'Harmonie_, the faithful Zephyr has come to rejoin his Flora; and the +happy pair trip down the footlights, set smiles on their faces, with +gracious gestures of salutation, to propitiate the unseen but +perfectly understood 'house.' As to the Altar of Harmony, their backs +are turned on the supposed object of their offerings--represented by a +pile of musical instruments mounted on a pillar, and topped by a +laurel-wreathed fiddle, the expression of which ('the face of a +fiddle') wears a dreary resemblance to a dolefully-long human +countenance. Zephyr is as remarkable as his fair companion: his face +is, if possible, more faded, his smile more set and weary; you feel +that his perpetual grin is the grimmest sight in the world, and that +no effort of his livid face could express a natural smile. He too +sports a huge pair of impossibly arched eyebrows, beneath which the +heavy lids droop with a worn-out look which is certainly unaffected. +His wig, you recognise, is no part of himself, although much of his +expression is conferred by it: it is a tremendous erection, of +obviously artificial construction, and sufficiently portentous to make +its _debut_ alone. This gentleman's nose is large and pear-shaped; his +mouth and lips large and coarse; and his Hebrew descent is +sufficiently characterised. He is clad in a simple tunic; his naked +arms are strongly developed and ugly; his legs are large, and the +muscles stand out with the prominence observable in members of his +profession: his shoulders, of course, are tipped with gauzy wings. + +The third plate, _Jeux innocens de Zephyr et Flore_, introduces us to +the altar of Cupid--a sweet little deity in plaster, who is drawing +his stringless bow, and aiming an imaginary arrow (the shaft is +wanting) at the tripping and artless Flora, who, with outstretched +hands, is guarding her tender bosom; meanwhile it is only +pantomimically she is conscious of Cupid's aims; her eyes are riveted +on the audience. Zephyr is ogling up behind the altar, his frightful +smile more set than ever, his wig more independent of himself, his +graces more fantastic; he is advancing, with one foot pointed about a +yard or so in advance of its fellow, anxious to bind the fair sharer +in these simple diversions in a wreath of stage-flowers. + +In the next plate _Flora is deploring the absence of her Zephyr_, who +has left her an opportunity to execute a _pas seul_. We are presented +with the back of the engaging _coryphee_: she is balanced on one foot; +the left is raised at an angle of considerably over forty-five +degrees--a touching and perfectly natural method of expressing her +disconsolate situation. + +In this drawing we are favoured with a view of the front of the +'house;' the faces of the men in the orchestra are treated +expressively. One musician's eye is peculiarly roguish, while another +performer is endeavouring to combine business with pleasure; to play +his flageolet, follow his score, and yet not lose sight of the +deploring one. + +Zephyr's turn for individual display occurs in the next plate. _Dans +un pas seul il exprime son extreme desespoir_; and accordingly, +without in any degree altering the cast of the mask of a face he +wears, he proceeds to express the intensity of his desolation, by +convincing the audience of the strength and activity of his lower +members, in a succession of horizontal bounds which give him the +aspect of a flying man. In the corner of the picture a Cupid--a +plump-faced little boy, decked out as Cupid--and his elder sister (the +likeness between the pair is evidently intentional) are opening their +eyes and mouths with stupid astonishment at Zephyr's grief-inspired +agility. + +Fresh actresses arrive on the scene. + +Zephyr has struck a stage attitude expressing the unconsolable state +of his affections; his legs crossed, and one arm resting on the now +vacant pedestal. _Triste et abattu, les seductions des Nymphes le +tentent en vain._ The ladies of the ballet flit vainly around him, his +eyes are cast down; even the fascinations which are held out by a +clumsy theatrical lyre, held in a melting _pose_ by one fair creature +reposing on one knee, are insufficient to tempt him to forget the +charms of the absent. + +Such fidelity can be only recompensed by the '_Reconciliation of Flora +and Zephyr_,' which is displayed in the succeeding plate. The +triumphant Zephyr, his smile, if possible, expressing less meaning +than usual, is now kneeling; his arms are folded, and his head is +supported at an angle by a rigid throat--for he has a weight to +sustain. The faithful Flora has bounded into his arms; and, in the +picture, the last triumphant tableau is before the audience. One foot +of the _danseuse_ lightly rests on Zephyr's outstretched thigh, the +other is on a level with her shoulder; her arms are gracefully clasped +around her companion, to preserve her balance, and her head and throat +are also at a studied angle, for the sake of the equilibrium of the +group. On this rapturous scene of fidelity rewarded with boundless +happiness the curtain descends; but we have not seen the last of the +performers. + +In, presumably, the Green Room we witness '_The Retreat of Flora_.' +The fair creature, who is in every way decidedly French, is there with +her mother and two admirers: Zephyr, of course, does not figure in +this category. The two latter pictures of the series are in +Thackeray's most forcible style; and indeed, for truth, +expressiveness, and character, compare quite favourably with Hogarth's +finer satires. One lover is a young dandy of the period: his +intellectual capacities are conspicuously absent; it may be said he +has neither forehead nor chin. He is sitting imbecilely astride his +chair, vacantly leaning his elbows on the back, and gazing at nothing +in particular; he is probably a trifle vexed at Flora's indifference, +or is jealous of his elder rival. The smiles and leers of Flora's +mamma are thrown away at present: the old lady is no less painted, and +is possibly more artificially made up than her daughter; her eyebrows +owe much to art, her cheeks are evidently high in colour, her faded +smirks and glittering eyes are by no means inviting, and a band of +velvet across her forehead suggests a suspicion of 'false fronts;' her +bonnet is of the gaudiest, a very pinnacle of bows, ribands, and +artificial flowers. This venerable creature is heavily cloaked, and +carries a huge muff, having evidently walked to the theatre to rejoin +her fair darling, who is standing on the hearth-rug, her toes still +attitudinising; she is slightly wrapped in a shawl, ready for her +_fiacre_. The gentleman on whom Flora is smiling, and evidently at +something just a little wicked, is a big, burly, coarse, +self-satisfied, elderly man, whose hands are in the pockets of his +awkward straddling trousers: his face is a study of downright +unflinching grinning baseness; he is probably doing a good business +on the Bourse, and his wife and family are no doubt at home in their +beds. + +The last plate, '_Les Delassements de Zephyr_,' is perhaps the most +refreshing to contemplate; for in it we see labour rejoicing over +those little comforts which are its reward. Poor old Zephyr, who is +after all a very homely, estimable, and hard-worked personage, who +probably gives lessons, drills the _ballet_ all day, and capers +without intermission till midnight all the year round, is resting his +arm on the chimney-piece, whereon his attitude is still a set _pose_: +the preposterous wig is in the hands of the _perruquier_, a nobly +curled barber, who, as he brushes the monstrous _toupee_, is +complacently admiring what _he_ evidently considers a triumph of art. +Zephyr, we can now realise, is of no particular age, or race; he +retains his jaded old sprightliness as he favours his capacious nose +with a copious pinch of snuff, supplied to that organ from the ball of +his thumb, with much apparent gratification. The gentleman who is +offering this hero the courtesy of his huge snuff-box is a jolly, +jaunty-looking person enough, a compound of splendour and shabbiness; +probably himself attached to one of the theatres as low comedian. His +jowl beams with good temper, and is ensconced in a pair of huge gills +and a voluminous neckcloth; his hat and waistcoat are showy of their +kind; his greatcoat has evidently suffered by wear, though still an +imposing and comfortable garment. The impression of his respectability +becomes fainter below; his trousers and boots are evidently out of +shape and unequivocally seedy, and his old umbrella is a study of +itself. An innocent-faced chubby pot-boy, with a smile of recognition +for the visitor, is holding, on a tray from the nearest tavern, a +foaming pot of porter for Zephyr after his saltatory exertions, and a +glass of brandy-and-water to revive his friend, who has come in from +the cold. + +These drawings, which are certainly equal to anything Thackeray has +produced, have been drawn on stone by Edward Morton, son of 'Speed the +Plough,' who has, if anything, contributed to their excellence: they +are remarkably well-executed examples of lithography, and are +delineated with that delicate strength, truth, and thoughtful effect +for which the works of this able but little-known artist are always to +be praised. Each plate bears the monogram WT, which, with the M +added, afterwards became tolerably familiar to the world. + +It is worthy of remark that in this, as always, Thackeray ridicules +the ugly and the absurd without departing from truth, or trenching on +impropriety. The quality he praised highest in Cruikshank and +Leech--that of never raising a blush or offending modesty--is perhaps +most remarkable in himself, in treating a subject like _Flora and +Zephyr_, where a young artist, and especially one whose training had +been in Paris, might be tempted to imply a certain freedom of manners. +'The effect of looking over these _juvenilia_, these shafts from a +mighty bow, is good, is moral; you are sorry for the hard-wrought +slaves; perhaps a little contemptuous towards the idle people who go +to see them.' + +Thackeray had scarcely attained the age of three-and-twenty when the +young literary art-student in Paris was recognised as an established +contributor to 'Fraser,' worthy to take a permanent place among the +brilliant staff which then rendered this periodical famous both in +England and on the Continent. It was at that time under the editorship +of the celebrated Maginn, one of the last of those compounds of genius +and profound scholarship with reckless extravagance and loose morals, +who once flourished under the encouragement of a tolerant public +opinion. There can be no doubt that the editor and Greek scholar who +is always in difficulties, who figures in several of his works, is a +faithful picture of this remarkable man as he appeared to his young +contributor. His friend, the late Mr. Hannay, says:-- + +'Certain it is that he lent--or in plainer English, gave--five hundred +pounds to poor old Maginn when he was beaten in the battle of life, +and like other beaten soldiers made a prisoner--in the Fleet. With the +generation going out--that of Lamb and Coleridge--he had, we believe, +no personal acquaintance. Sydney Smith he met at a later time; and he +remembered with satisfaction that something which he wrote about Hood +gave pleasure to that delicate humorist and poet in his last days.[7] +Thackeray's earliest literary friends were certainly found among the +brilliant band of Fraserians, of whom Thomas Carlyle, always one of +his most appreciative admirers, is probably the solitary survivor. +From reminiscences of the wilder lights in the "Fraser" constellation +were drawn the pictures of the queer fellows connected with literature +in "Pendennis"--Captain Shandon, the ferocious Bludyer, stout old Tom +Serjeant, and so forth. Magazines in those days were more brilliant +than they are now, when they are haunted by the fear of shocking the +Fogy element in their circulation; and the effect of their greater +freedom is seen in the buoyant, riant, and unrestrained comedy of +Thackeray's own earlier "Fraser" articles. "I suppose we all begin by +being too savage," is the phrase of a letter he wrote in 1849; "_I +know one who did._" He was alluding here to the "Yellowplush Papers" +in particular, where living men were very freely handled. This old, +wild satiric spirit it was which made him interrupt even the early +chapters of "Vanity Fair," by introducing a parody which he could not +resist of some contemporary novelist.'[8] + +But we have a proof of the fact of how fully he was recognised by his +brother Fraserians as one of themselves, in Maclise's picture of the +contributors, prefixed to the number of 'Frasers Magazine' for January +1835--a picture which must have been drawn at some period in the +previous year. This outline cartoon represents a banquet at the house +of the publisher, Mr. Fraser, at which, on some of his brief visits to +London, Thackeray had doubtless been present, for it is easy to trace +in the juvenile features of the tall figure with the double +eyeglass--Thackeray was throughout life somewhat near-sighted--a +portrait of the future author of 'Vanity Fair.' Mr. Mahony, the +well-known 'Father Prout' of the magazine, in his account of this +picture, written in 1859, tells us that the banquet was no fiction. In +the chair appears Dr. Maginn in the act of making a speech; and around +him are a host of contributors, including Bryan Waller Procter (better +known then as Barry Cornwall), Robert Southey, William Harrison +Ainsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, James Hogg, John Galt, Fraser the +publisher, having on his right, Crofton Croker, Lockhart, Theodore +Hook, Sir David Brewster, Thomas Carlyle, Sir Egerton Brydges, Rev. G. +R. Gleig, Mahony, Edward Irving, and others, numbering twenty-seven +in all--of whom, in 1859, eight only were living. + + [Illustration] + +This celebrated cartoon of the Fraserians appears to place Thackeray's +connection with the magazine before 1835; but we have not succeeded in +tracing any contribution from his hand earlier than November 1837. +Certainly, the afterwards well-used _noms de plume_ of Michael Angelo +Titmarsh, Fitzboodle, Charles Yellowplush, and Ikey Solomons, are +wanting in the earlier volumes. + +It is in the number for the month and year referred to that we first +find him contributing a paper which is not reprinted in his +'Miscellanies,' and which is interesting as explaining the origin of +that assumed character of a footman in which the author of the +'Yellowplush Papers' and 'Jeames's Diary' afterwards took delight. A +little volume had been published in 1837, entitled, 'My Book; or, The +Anatomy of Conduct, by John Henry Skelton.' The writer of this absurd +book had been a woollendraper in the neighbourhood of Regent Street. +He had become possessed of the fixed idea that he was destined to +become the instructor of mankind in the true art of etiquette. He gave +parties to the best company whom he could induce to eat his dinners +and assemble at his conversaziones, where his amiable delusion was +the frequent subject of the jokes of his friends. Skelton, however, +felt them little. He spent what fortune he had, and brought himself to +a position in which his fashionable acquaintances no longer troubled +him with their attentions; but he did not cease to be, in his own +estimation, a model of deportment. He husbanded his small resources, +limiting himself to a modest dinner daily at a coffee-house in the +neighbourhood of his old home, where his perfectly fitting +dress-coat--for in this article he was still enabled to shine--his +brown wig and dyed whiskers, his ample white cravat of the style of +the Prince Regent's days, and his well-polished boots, were long +destined to raise the character of the house on which he bestowed his +patronage. In the days of his prosperity Skelton was understood among +his acquaintances to be engaged on a work which should hand down to +posterity the true code of etiquette--that body of unwritten law which +regulated the society of the time of his favourite monarch. In the +enforced retirement of his less prosperous days, the ex-woollendraper's +literary design had time to develop itself, and in the year 1837 'My +Book; or, The Anatomy of Conduct, by John Henry Skelton,' was finally +given to the world. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Inspector of Anatomy] + +It was this little volume which fell in the way of Thackeray, who +undertook to review it for 'Fraser's Magazine.' In order to do full +justice to the work, nothing seemed more proper than to present the +reviewer in the assumed character of a fashionable footman. The +review, therefore, took the form of a letter from Charles Yellowplush, +Esq., containing 'Fashionable fax and polite Anny-goats,' dated from +'No. ----, Grosvenor Square (N.B.--Hairy Bell),' and addressed to +Oliver Yorke, the well-known pseudonym of the editor of 'Fraser.' To +this accident may be attributed those extraordinary efforts of +cacography which had their germ in the Cambridge 'Snob,' but which +attained their full development in the Miscellanies, the Ballads, the +'Jeames's Diary,' and other short works, and also in some portions of +the latest of the author's novels. The precepts and opinions of +'Skelton,' or 'Skeleton,' as the reviewer insisted on calling the +author of the 'Anatomy,' were fully developed and illustrated by Mr. +Yellowplush. The footman who reviewed the 'fashionable world' achieved +a decided success. Charles Yellowplush was requested by the editor to +extend his comments upon society and books, and in January 1838 the +'Yellowplush Papers' were commenced, with those vigorous though crude +illustrations by the author, which appear at first to have been +suggested by the light-spirited style of Maclise's portraits in the +same magazine, a manner which afterwards became habitual to him. + + [Illustration: The rejected one] + +It was in the year 1836 that Thackeray, according to an anecdote +related by himself, offered Dickens to undertake the task of +illustrating one of his works. The story was told by the former at an +anniversary dinner of the Royal Academy a few years since, Dickens +being present on the occasion. 'I can remember,' said Thackeray, 'when +Dickens was a very young man, and had commenced delighting the world +with some charming humorous works in covers, which were coloured light +green, and came out once a month, that this young man wanted an artist +to illustrate his writings; and I recollect walking up to his chambers +in Furnival's Inn, with two or three drawings in my hand, which, +strange to say, he did not find suitable. But for the unfortunate +blight which came over my artistical existence, it would have been my +pride and my pleasure to have endeavoured one day to find a place on +these walls for one of my performances.' The work referred to was the +'Pickwick Papers,' which was commenced in April of that year, as the +result of an agreement with Dickens and Mr. Seymour, the comic +artist--the one to write, and the other to illustrate a book which +should exhibit the adventures of cockney sportsmen. As our readers +know, the descriptive letterpress, by the author of the 'Sketches by +Boz,' soon attracted the attention of the world; while the clever +illustrations by Seymour, which had the merit of creating the +well-known pictorial characteristics of Mr. Pickwick and his friends, +became regarded only as illustrations of the new humorist's immortal +work. Unhappily, only two or three monthly numbers had been completed, +when Seymour destroyed himself in a fit of derangement. A new artist +was wanted, and the result was the singular interview between the two +men whose names, though representing schools of fiction so widely +different, were destined to become constantly associated in the public +mind. Dickens was then acquiring the vast popularity as a writer of +fiction which never flagged from that time: the young artist had +scarcely attempted literature, and had still before him many years of +obscurity. The slow growth of his fame presents a curious contrast to +the career of his fellow-novelist. Hard as Thackeray subsequently +worked in contributing to 'Fraser,' in co-operating with others on +daily newspapers, in writing for 'Cruikshank's Comic Almanack,' for +the 'Times' and the 'Examiner,' for 'Punch,' and for the 'Westminster' +and other Reviews, it could not be said that he was really known to +the public till the publication of 'Vanity Fair,' when he had been an +active literary man for at least ten years, and had attained the age +of thirty-seven. The 'Yellowplush Papers' in 'Fraser' enjoyed a sort +of popularity, and were at least widely quoted in the newspapers; but +of their author few inquired. Neither did the two volumes of the +'Paris Sketch Book,' though presenting many good specimens of his +peculiar humour, nor the account of the second funeral of Napoleon, +nor even the 'Irish Sketch Book,' do much to make their writer known. +It was his 'Vanity Fair' which, issued in shilling monthly parts, took +the world of readers as it were by storm; and an appreciative article +from the hand of a friend in the 'Edinburgh Review,' in 1848, for the +first time helped to spread the tidings of a new master of fiction +among us, destined to make a name second to none, in its own field. + +Thackeray was in Paris in March 1836, at the time of the execution of +Fieschi and Lacenaire, upon which subject he wrote some remarks in one +of his anonymous papers which it is interesting to compare with the +more advanced views in favour of the abolition of the punishment of +death, which are familiar to the readers of his subsequent article, +'On Going to see a Man Hanged.' He did not witness the execution +either of Fieschi or Lacenaire, though he made unsuccessful attempts +to be present at both events. + +The day for Fieschi's death was purposely kept secret; and he was +executed at a remote quarter of the town. But the scene on the morning +when his execution did not take place was never forgotten by the young +English artist. + +It was carnival time, and the rumour had pretty generally been carried +abroad that the culprit was to die on that day. A friend who +accompanied Thackeray came many miles through the mud and dark, in +order to be 'in at the death.' They set out before light, floundering +through the muddy Champs Elysees, where were many others bent upon the +same errand. They passed by the Concert of Musard, then held in the +Rue St. Honore; and round this, in the wet, a number of coaches were +collected: the ball was just up; and a crowd of people, in hideous +masquerade, drunk, tired, dirty, dressed in horrible old frippery and +daubed with filthy rouge, were trooping out of the place; tipsy women +and men, shrieking, jabbering, gesticulating, as Frenchmen will do; +parties swaggering, staggering forwards, arm in arm, reeling to and +fro across the street, and yelling songs in chorus. Hundreds of these +were bound for the show, and the two friends thought themselves lucky +in finding a vehicle to the execution place, at the Barriere d'Enfer. +As they crossed the river, and entered the Rue d'Enfer, crowds of +students, black workmen, and more drunken devils from carnival balls, +were filling it; and on the grand place there were thousands of these +assembled, looking out for Fieschi and his _cortege_. They waited, but +no throat-cutting that morning; no august spectacle of satisfied +justice; and the eager spectators were obliged to return, disappointed +of the expected breakfast of blood. + + [Illustration: Somewhat sanguinary] + +The other attempt was equally unfortunate. The same friend accompanied +him, but they arrived too late on the ground to be present at the +execution of Lacenaire and his co-mate in murder, Avril. But as they +came to the spot (a gloomy round space, within the barrier--three +roads led to it--and, outside, they saw the wine-shops and +restaurateurs of the barrier looking gay and inviting), they only +found, in the midst of it, a little pool of ice, just partially tinged +with red. Two or three idle street boys were dancing and stamping +about this pool; and when the Englishmen asked one of them whether the +execution had taken place, he began dancing more madly than ever, and +shrieked out with a loud fantastical theatrical voice, '_Venez tous, +Messieurs et Dames; voyez ici le sang du monstre Lacenaire et de son +compagnon le traitre Avril_;' and straightway all the other gamins +screamed out the words in chorus, and took hands and danced round the +little puddle. + + [Illustration] + +Thackeray returned to London in March 1836, and resided for a few +months in the house of his step-father, Major Henry Carmichael Smyth. +The principal object of his return was to concert with the Major, who +was a gentleman of some literary attainments, a project for starting a +daily newspaper. The time was believed to be remarkably opportune for +the new journal; the old oppressive newspaper stamp being about to be +repealed, and a penny stamp, giving the privilege of a free +transmission through the post, to be substituted. Their project was to +form a small joint-stock company, to be called the Metropolitan +Newspaper Company, with a capital of 60,000_l._, in shares of 10_l._ +each. The Major, as chief proprietor, became chairman of the new +company; Laman Blanchard was appointed editor, Douglas Jerrold the +dramatic critic, and Thackeray the Paris correspondent. An old and +respectable, though decaying journal, entitled the 'Public Ledger,' +was purchased by the company; and on September 15, the first day of +the reduced stamp duty, the newspaper was started with the title of +the 'Constitutional and Public Ledger.' The politics of the paper were +ultra-liberal. Its programme was entire freedom of the press, +extension of popular suffrage, vote by ballot, shortening of duration +of parliaments, equality of civil rights and religious liberty. A +number of the most eminent of the advanced party, including Mr. Grote, +Sir William Molesworth, Mr. Joseph Hume, and Colonel Thompson, +publicly advertised their intention to support the new journal, and to +promote its circulation. Thackeray's Paris letters, signed 'T. T.,' +commenced on September 24, and were continued at intervals until the +spring of the following year. They present little worth notice. At +that time the chatty correspondent who discourses upon all things save +the subject of his letter was a thing unknown. Bare facts, such as the +telegraph-wire now brings us, with here and there a _soupcon_ of +philosophical reflection, were the utmost that the readers of +newspapers in those days demanded of the useful individual who kept +watch in the capital of civilisation for events of interest. +Generally, however, the letters are characterised by a strong distaste +for the Government of July, and by an ardent liberalism which had but +slightly cooled down when, at the Oxford election in 1857, he declared +himself an uncompromising advocate of vote by ballot. Writing from +Paris on October 8, he says: 'We are luckily too strong to dread much +from open hostility, or to be bullied back into Toryism by our +neighbours; but if Radicalism be a sin in their eyes, it exists, thank +God! not merely across the Alps, but across the Channel.' The new +journal, however, was far from prosperous. After enlarging its size +and raising its price from fourpence-halfpenny to fivepence, it +gradually declined in circulation. The last number appeared on July 1, +1837, bearing black borders for the death of the king. 'We can +estimate, therefore,' says the dying speech of the 'Constitutional,' +'the feelings of the gentleman who once walked at his own funeral,' +and the editor, or perhaps his late Paris correspondent, adds: 'The +adverse circumstances have been various. In the philosophy of ill-luck +it may be laid down as a principle that every point of discouragement +tends to one common centre of defeat. When the Fates do concur in one +discomfiture their unanimity is wonderful. So has it happened in the +case of the "Constitutional." In the first place, a delay of some +months, consequent upon the postponement of the newspaper stamp +reduction, operated on the minds of many who were originally parties +to the enterprise; in the next, the majority of those who remained +faithful were wholly inexperienced in the art and mystery of the +practical working of an important daily journal; in the third, and +consequent upon the other two, there was the want of those abundant +means, and of that wise application of resources, without which no +efficient organ of the interests of any class of men--to say nothing +of the interests of that first and greatest class whose welfare has +been our dearest aim and most constant object--can be successfully +established. Then came further misgivings on the part of friends, and +the delusive undertakings of friends in disguise.' The venture proved +in every way a disastrous one. Although nominally supported by a +joint-stock company, the burden of the undertaking really rested upon +the original promoters, of whom Major Smyth was the principal, while +his step-son, Thackeray, also lost nearly all that remained of his +fortune. + +It was shortly after the failure of the 'Constitutional' that +Thackeray married in Paris a Miss Shaw, sister of the Captain Shaw, an +Indian officer, who was one of the mourners at his funeral, an Irish +lady of good family, who bore him two daughters, the elder of whom +first gave, during her illustrious father's life-time, indications of +inheriting his talents, in the remarkable story of 'Elizabeth,' +written by her, and published in the 'Cornhill Magazine.' In 1837 he +left Paris with his family, and resided for two years in Great Coram +Street, London, when he began to devote himself seriously to literary +labour, adding, we believe, occasional work as an illustrator. We are +told that he contributed some papers to the 'Times' during the late +Mr. Barnes's editorship--an article on 'Fielding' among them. He is +believed to have been connected with two literary papers of his +time--the 'Torch,' edited by Felix Fax, Esq., and the 'Parthenon,' +which must not be confounded with a literary journal with the same +name recently existing. The 'Torch,' which was started on August 26, +1837, ran only for six months, and was immediately succeeded by the +'Parthenon,' which had a longer existence. In neither paper, however, +is it possible to trace any sign of that shrewd criticism and that +overflowing humour which distinguish the papers in 'Fraser.' For the +latter publication he laboured assiduously, and it was at this time +that the 'Yellowplush Papers' appeared, with occasional notices of the +Exhibitions of Paintings in London. Among his writings of this period +(1837-1840) we also find 'Stubbs's Calendar, or the Fatal Boots,' +contributed to his friend Cruikshank's 'Comic Almanack' for 1839, and +since included in the 'Miscellanies;' 'Catherine, by Ikey Solomons, +jun.,' a long continuous story, founded on the crime of Catherine +Hayes, the celebrated murderess of the last century, and intended to +ridicule the novels of the school of Jack Sheppard, and illustrated +with outline cartoons by the author; 'Cartouche' and 'Poinsonnet,' two +stories, and 'Epistles to the Literati.' In 1839 he visited Paris +again, at the request of the proprietor of 'Fraser,' in order to write +an account of the French Exhibition of Paintings, which appeared in +the December number. + +On his return he devoted himself to writing the 'Shabby Genteel +Story,' which was begun in 'Fraser' for June, and continued in the +numbers for July, August, and October, when it stopped unfinished at +the ninth chapter. The story of this strange failure is a mournful +one. While busily engaged in working out this affecting story, a dark +shadow descended upon his household, making all the associations of +that time painful to him for ever. The terrible truth, long suspected, +that the chosen partner of his good and evil fortunes could never +participate in the success for which he had toiled, became confirmed. +The mental disease which had attacked his wife rapidly developed +itself, until the hopes which had sustained those to whom she was most +dear were wholly extinguished. Thackeray was not one of those who love +to parade their domestic sorrows before the world. No explanation of +his omission to complete his story was given to his readers; but, +years afterwards, in reprinting it in his 'Miscellanies,' he hinted at +the circumstances which had paralyzed his hand, and rendered him +incapable of ever resuming the thread of his story, with a touching +suggestiveness for those who knew the facts. The tale was interrupted, +he said, 'at a sad period of the writer's own life.' When the +republication of the 'Miscellanies' was announced, it was his +intention to complete the little story--but the colours were long +since dry, the artist's hand had changed. It 'was best,' he said, 'to +leave the sketch as it was when first designed seventeen years ago. +The memory of the past is renewed as he looks at it.'[9] + +It was in 1840 that Thackeray contributed to the 'Westminster' a +kindly and appreciative article upon the productions of his friend +George Cruikshank, illustrated--an unusual thing for the great organ +of the philosophers of the school of Bentham, J. Mill, and Sir W. +Molesworth--with numerous specimens of the comic sketches of the +subject of the paper. His defence of Cruikshank from the cavils of +those who loved to dwell upon his defects as a draughtsman is full of +sound criticism, and his claim for his friend as something far +greater, a man endowed with that rarest of all faculties, the power to +create, is inspired by a generous enthusiasm which lends a life and +spirit to the paper not often found in a critical review. This long +paper, signed with the Greek letter Theta, is little known, but +Thackeray frequently referred to it as a labour in which he had felt a +peculiar pleasure. + +In the summer of 1840 Thackeray collected some of his original +sketches inserted in 'Fraser' and other periodicals, English and +foreign, and republished them under the title of the 'Paris Sketch +Book.' This work is interesting as the first independent publication +of the author, but of its contents few things are now remembered. The +dedicatory letter prefixed, however, is peculiarly characteristic of +the writer. It relates to a circumstance which had occurred to him +some time previously in Paris. The old days when money was abundant, +and loitering among the pictures of the Paris galleries could be +indulged in without remorse, had gone. The _res angusta domi_ with +which genius has so often been disturbed in its day-dreams began to be +familiar to him. The unfortunate failure of the 'Constitutional'--a +loss which he, years afterwards, occasionally referred to as a foolish +commercial speculation on which he had ventured in his youth--had +absorbed the whole of his patrimony. At such a time a temporary +difficulty in meeting a creditor's demand was not uncommon. On one +such occasion, a M. Aretz, a tailor in the Rue Richelieu, who had for +some time supplied him with coats and trousers, presented him with a +small account for those articles, and was met with a statement from +his debtor that an immediate settlement of the bill would be extremely +inconvenient to him. To Titmarsh's astonishment the reply of his +creditor was, 'Mon Dieu, sir, let not that annoy you. If you want +money, as a gentleman often does in a strange country, I have a +thousand-franc note at my house which is quite at your service.' The +generous offer was accepted. The coin which, in proof of the tailor's +esteem for his customer, was advanced without any interest, was duly +repaid together with the account; but the circumstance could not be +forgotten. The person obliged felt how becoming it was to acknowledge +and praise virtue, as he slily said, wherever he might find it, and to +point it out for the admiration and example of his fellow-men. +Accordingly, he determined to dedicate his first book to the generous +tailor, giving at full length his name and address. In the dedicatory +letter, he accordingly alludes to this anecdote, adding-- + + 'History or experience, sir, makes us acquainted with so + few actions that can be compared to yours; a kindness like + yours, from a stranger and a tailor, seems to me so + astonishing, that you must pardon me for thus making your + virtue public, and acquainting the English nation with + your merit and your name. Let me add, sir, that you live + on the first floor; that your clothes and fit are + excellent, and your charges moderate and just; and, as a + humble tribute of my admiration, permit me to lay these + volumes at your feet. + + 'Your obliged, faithful servant, + 'M. A. TITMARSH.' + + [Illustration: General Bonaparte] + +A second edition of the 'Paris Sketch Book' was announced by the +publisher, Macrone--the same publisher who had a few years before +given to the world the 'Sketches by Boz,' the first of Dickens' +publications; but the second edition was probably only one of those +conventional fictions with which the spirits of young authors are +sustained. Though containing many flashes of the Titmarsh humour, +many eloquent passages, and much interesting reading of a light kind, +the public took but a passing interest in it. Years after, in quoting +its title, the author good-humouredly remarked, in a parenthesis, that +some copies, he believed, might still be found unsold at the +publisher's; but the book was forgotten and most of its contents were +rejected by the writer when preparing his selected miscellanies for +the press. A similar couple of volumes, published by Cunningham in +1841, under the title of 'Comic Tales and Sketches, edited and +illustrated by Mr. Michael Angelo Titmarsh,' and an independent +republication, also in two volumes, of the 'Yellowplush Papers,' from +'Fraser,' were somewhat more successful. The former contained 'Major +Gahagan' and the 'Bedford-row Conspiracy,' reprinted from the 'New +Monthly;' 'Stubbs's Calendar, or the Fatal Boots,' from Cruikshank's +'Comic Almanack;' some amusing criticisms on the 'Sea Captain,' and +'Lady Charlotte Bury's Diary,' and other papers from 'Fraser.' The +illustrations to the volumes were tinted etchings of a somewhat more +careful character than those unfinished artistic drolleries in which +he generally indulged. A brace of portraits of Dr. Lardner and Bulwer +may be reckoned in the great humourist's happiest caricature vein. + +In December 1840 he again visited Paris, and remained there until the +summer of the following year. He was in that city on the memorable +occasion of the second funeral of Napoleon, or the ceremony of +conveying the remains of that great warrior, of whom, as a child, he +had obtained a living glimpse, to their last resting-place at the +Hotel des Invalides. An account of that ceremony, in the form of a +letter to Miss Smith, was published by Macrone. It was a small square +pamphlet, chiefly memorable now as containing at the end his +remarkable poem of the 'Chronicle of the Drum.' About this time he +advertised, as preparing for immediate publication, a book entitled +'Dinner Reminiscences, or the Young Gourmandiser's Guide at Paris, by +Mr. M. A. Titmarsh.' It was to be issued by Hugh Cunningham, the +publisher, of St. Martin's Place, Trafalgar Square, but we believe was +never published. + +It was in the September number of 'Fraser,' for 1841, that he +commenced his story of the 'History of Samuel Titmarsh, and the Great +Hoggarty Diamond,' which, though it failed to achieve an extraordinary +popularity, first convinced that select few who judge for themselves +in matters of literature and art, of the great power and promise of +the unknown 'Titmarsh.' Carlyle, in his 'Life of John Sterling,' +quotes the following remarkable passage from a letter of the latter to +his mother, written at this period:--'I have seen no new books, but am +reading your last. I got hold of the two first numbers of the +"Hoggarty Diamond," and read them with extreme delight. What is there +better in Fielding or Goldsmith? The man is a true genius, and with +quiet and comfort might produce masterpieces that would last as long +as any we have, and delight millions of unborn readers. There is more +truth and nature in one of these papers than in all ----'s novels put +together.' 'Thackeray (adds Carlyle), always a close friend of the +Sterling House, will observe that this is dated 1841, not 1851, and +will have his own reflections on the matter.' The 'Hoggarty Diamond' +was continued in the numbers for October and November, and completed +in December 1841. In the number for June of the following year, +'Fitzboodle's Confessions' were commenced, and were continued at +intervals down to the end of 1843. The 'Irish Sketch Book,' in two +volumes, detailing an Irish tour, was also published in the latter +year. The 'Sketch Book' did not at the time attract much attention. +The 'Luck of Barry Lyndon,' by many considered the most original of +his writings, was begun and finished at No. 88, St. James Street, +previously known as the Conservative Club, where at this time he +occupied chambers. The first part appeared in 'Fraser' for January +1844, and was continued regularly every month, till its completion in +the December number. He was engaged a short time before this as +assistant editor of the 'Examiner' newspaper, to which journal he +contributed numerous articles; and among his papers in 'Fraser' and +other magazines of the same period, we find, 'Memorials of +Gourmandising;' 'Pictorial Rhapsodies on the Exhibitions of +Paintings;' 'Bluebeard's Ghost;' a satirical article on Grant's 'Paris +and the Parisians;' a 'Review of a Box of Novels' (already quoted +from); 'Little Travels and Roadside Sketches' (chiefly in Belgium); +'The _Partie Fine_, by Lancelot Wagstaff'--a comic story, with a +sequel entitled 'Arabella, or the Moral of the _Partie Fine_;' 'Carmen +Lilliense;' 'Picture Gossip;' more comic sketches, with the titles of +'The Chest of Cigars, by Lancelot Wagstaff;' 'Bob Robinson's First +Love;' and 'Barmecide Banquets,' and an admirable satirical review +entitled 'A Gossip about Christmas Books.' + +The 'Carmen Lilliense' will be well remembered by the readers of the +'Miscellanies,' published in 1857, in which it was included. Thackeray +was in the north of France and in Belgium about the period when it is +dated (2nd September, 1843); and the ballad describes a real accident +which befell him, though doubtless somewhat heightened in effect. It +tells how, leaving Paris with only twenty pounds in his pocket, for a +trip in Belgium, he arrived at Antwerp, where, feeling for his purse, +he found it had vanished with the entire amount of his little +treasure. Some rascal on the road had picked his pocket, and nothing +was left but to borrow ten guineas of a friend whom he met, and to +write a note to England addressed to 'Grandmamma,' for whom we may +probably read some other member of the Titmarsh family. The ten +guineas, however, were soon gone, and the sensitive Titmarsh found +himself in a position of great delicacy. What was to be done? 'To +stealing,' says the ballad, 'he could never come.' To pawn his watch +he felt himself 'too genteel;' besides, he had left his watch at home, +which at once put an end to any debates on this point. There was +nothing to do but to wait for the remittance, and beguile the time +with a poetical description of his woes. The guests around him ask for +their bills. Titmarsh is in agonies. The landlord regards him as a +'Lord Anglais,' serves him with the best of meat and drink, and is +proud of his patronage. A sense of being a kind of impostor weighs +upon him. The landlord's eye became painful to look at. Opposite is a +dismal building--the prison-house of Lille, where, by a summary +process, familiar to French law, foreigners who run in debt without +the means of paying may be lodged. He is almost tempted to go into the +old Flemish church and invoke the saints there after the fashion of +the country. One of their pictures on the walls becomes, in his +imagination, like the picture of 'Grandmamma,' with a smile upon its +countenance. Delightful dream! and one of good omen. He returns to his +hotel, and there to his relief finds the long-expected letter, in the +well-known hand, addressed to 'Mr. M. A. Titmarsh, Lille.' He obtains +the means of redeeming his credit, bids farewell to his host without +any exposure, takes the diligence, and is restored to his home that +evening. Such are the humorous exaggerations with which he depicts his +temporary troubles at Lille, in the shape of a ballad, originally +intended, we believe, for the amusement of his family, but finally +inserted in 'Fraser.' + + [Illustration: Memorials of gourmandising] + +It was in July 1844 that Thackeray started on a tour in the East--the +result of a hasty invitation, and of a present of a free pass from a +friend connected with the Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation +Company. His sudden departure, upon less than thirty-six hours' +notice, is pleasantly detailed in the preface to his book, published +at Christmas, 1845, with the title of 'Notes of a Journey from +Cornhill to Grand Cairo by way of Lisbon, Athens, Constantinople, and +Jerusalem: performed in the steamers of the Peninsular and Oriental +Company. By M. A. Titmarsh, author of the "Irish Sketch Book," &c.' + +The book was illustrated with coloured drawings by the author, +treating, in a not exaggerated vein of fun, the peculiarities of the +daily life of the East. The little book was well received, and in the +reviews of it there is evidence of the growing interest of the public +in the writer. For the first time it presented him to his readers in +his true name, for though the 'Titmarsh' fiction is preserved on the +title-page, the prefatory matter is signed 'W. M. Thackeray.' + +'"Who is Titmarsh?" says one of his critics at this time. Such is the +ejaculatory formula in which public curiosity gives vent to its +ignorant impatience of pseudonymous renown. "Who is Michael Angelo +Titmarsh?" Such is the note of interrogation which has been heard at +intervals these several seasons back, among groups of elderly loungers +in that row of clubs, Pall Mall; from fairy lips, as the light wheels +whirled along the row called "Rotten;" and oft amid keen-eyed men in +that grandfather of rows which the children of literature call +Paternoster.... + +'This problem has been variously and conflictingly solved, as in the +parallel case of the grim old _stat nominis umbra_. There is a hint in +both instances of some mysterious connection with the remote regions +of Bengal, and an erect old pigtail of the E.I.C.S. boasts in the +"horizontal" jungle off Hanover Square, of having had the dubious +advantage of his personal acquaintanceship in Upper India, where his I +O U's were signed Major Goliah Gahagan; and several specimens of that +documentary character, in good preservation, he offers at a low figure +to amateurs.' + + [Illustration: The Major] + +The foundation in 1841 of a weekly periodical, serving as a vehicle +for the circulation of the lighter papers of humourists, had +unquestionably an important influence in the development of his +talents and fame. From an early date he was connected with 'Punch,' at +first as the 'Fat Contributor,' and soon after as the author of +'Jeames's Diary' and the 'Snob Papers.' If satire could do aught to +check the pride of the vulgar upstart, or shame social hypocrisy into +truth and simplicity, these writings would accomplish the task. In +fact, Thackeray's name was now becoming known, and people began to +distinguish and enquire for his contributions; his illustrations in +'Punch' being as funny as his articles were. The series called +'Jeames's Diary' caused great amusement and no little flutter in high +polite circles, for the deposition from the throne of railwaydom of +the famous original of 'Jeames de la Pluche' had hardly then begun, +though it was probably accelerated by the universal titters of +recognition which welcomed the weekly accounts of the changing +fortunes of 'Jeames.' + +FOOTNOTES: + +[6] Both the 'new and old Bayleys' are treated to a roasting in the +_Comic Magazine_; and we get an earlier glimpse of these worthies, for +whom the young writer evidently entertained but scanty respect, in +_Fraser_ for 1831, where, in the November number, Oliver Yorke is +supposed to hold a levee, at which the prominent celebrities are +presented to Regina's editor on various pretences--'Old Bayley, on +being sent to France,' and 'Young Bayley, after Four Years in the West +Indies,' on his arrival to present a copy of the 'Songs of Almack's.' +This young gentleman came over to the 'London World' in a 'National +Omnibus:' his appearance excited some curiosity. + +[7] He had certainly seen Sydney Smith. A quaint half-caricature +outline sketch of the latter was contributed by 'Titmarsh' to +_Fraser's Magazine_, at an early period of his connection with that +journal. + +[8] _Edinburgh Evening Courant_, Jan. 5, 1864. + +[9] _Miscellanies_, vol. iv. p. 324. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + Increasing reputation -- Later writings in 'Fraser' -- 'Mrs. + Perkins's Ball,' with Thackeray's illustrations -- Early + Vicissitudes of 'Pencil Sketches of English Society' -- + Thackeray's connection with the Temple -- Appearance of 'Vanity + Fair' with the Author's original illustrations -- Appreciative + notice in the 'Edinburgh Review' -- The impression produced -- + 'Our Street,' with Titmarsh's Pencillings of some of its + Inhabitants -- The 'History of Pendennis,' illustrated by the + Author -- 'Dr. Birch and his Young Friends,' with illustrations + by M. A. Titmarsh -- 'Rebecca and Rowena' -- The Dignity of + Literature and the 'Examiner' and 'Morning Chronicle' newspapers + -- Sensitiveness to Hostile Criticism -- The 'Kickleburys on the + Rhine,' with illustrations by M. A. Titmarsh -- Adverse bias of + the 'Times' newspaper -- Thackeray's reply -- An 'Essay on + Thunder and Small Beer.' + + +The great work, however, which was to stamp the name of Thackeray for +ever in the minds of English readers was yet to come. Hitherto all his +writings had been brief and desultory, but in contributing to +magazines his style had gradually matured itself. That ease of +expression, and that repose which seems so full of power, were never +more exemplified than in some of his latest essays in 'Fraser,' before +book writing had absorbed all his time. His articles on Sir E. B. +Lytton's 'Memoir of Laman Blanchard,' his paper on 'Illustrated +Children's Books,' his satirical proposal to Mons. Alexandre Dumas for +a continuation of 'Ivanhoe,' all contributed to 'Fraser' in 1846, and +his article--we believe the last which he wrote for that +periodical--entitled 'A Grumble about Christmas Books,' published in +January 1847, are equal to anything in his later works. The +first-mentioned of these papers, indeed--the remonstrance with Laman +Blanchard's biographer--is unsurpassed for the eloquence of its +defence of the calling of men of letters, and for the tenderness and +manly simplicity with which it touches on the history of the +unfortunate subject of the memoir. + +'Mrs. Perkins's Ball,' a Christmas book, was published in December +1846. But its author had long been preparing for a more serious +undertaking. Some time before, he had sketched some chapters entitled +'Pencil Sketches of English Society,' which he had offered to Colburn +for insertion in the 'New Monthly Magazine.' It formed a portion of a +continuous story, of a length not yet determined, and was rejected by +Colburn after consideration. The papers which Thackeray had previously +contributed to the 'New Monthly' were chiefly slight comic +stories--perhaps the least favourable specimens of his powers. They +were, indeed, not superior to the common run of magazine papers, and +were certainly not equal to his contributions to 'Fraser.' In fact, as +a contributor to the 'New Monthly' he had achieved no remarkable +success, and his papers appear to have been little in demand there. +Whether the manuscript had been offered to 'Fraser'--the magazine in +which 'Titmarsh' had secured popularity, and where he was certainly +more at home--we cannot say. Happily, the author of 'Pencil Sketches +of English Society,' though suspending his projected work, did not +abandon it. He saw in its opening chapters--certainly not the best +portions of the story when completed--the foundations of a work which +was to secure him at last a fame among contemporary writers in his own +proper name. The success of Dickens's shilling monthly parts suggested +to him to make it the commencement of a substantive work of fiction, +to be published month by month, with illustrations by the author. The +work grew up by degrees, and finally took shape under the better title +of 'Vanity Fair.' It was during this time, the latter part of 1846, +that he removed to his house at No. 13 Young Street, Kensington, a +favourite locality with him, in which house he resided for some years. +He also at this time occupied chambers at No. 10 Crown-office Row, +Temple, the comfortable retirement which, 'up four pair of stairs,' +with its grand view, when the sun was shining, of the chimney-pots +over the way, he has himself described. His friend Tom Taylor, the +well-known dramatist and biographer, had chambers in the same house; +and we believe, on the demolition of No. 10 Crown-office Row, wrote a +poem, published in the pages of 'Punch,' in which, if we remember +rightly, mention is made of the fact of Thackeray's having resided +there. Thackeray was called to the bar by the Honourable Society of +the Middle Temple in 1848, though he never practised, and probably +never intended to do so. The Benchers, however, were not insensible to +the addition to the numerous literary associations with their +venerable and quiet retreat which they thus gained. After his death +there was some proposition to bury him in the Temple, of which he was +a member, amid (as Spenser says)-- + + Those bricky towers + The which on Thames' broad back do ride, + Where now the student lawyers have their bowers, + Where whilom wont the Templar Knights to bide, + Till they decayed through pride. + +There Goldsmith is buried, and Thackeray's ashes would have been fitly +laid near those of the author of the 'Vicar of Wakefield,' whose +brilliant genius he so heartily eulogised, and whose many shortcomings +he so tenderly touched upon, in the 'Lectures on the Humourists.' But, +after consultation with his relations, it was deemed better that he +should rest with his own family in Kensal Green. Pending this +decision, the sanction of the Benchers to interment within the +precincts of the Temple Church had been asked and cheerfully accorded; +and when the Kensal Green Cemetery was finally decided upon, the +Benchers were requested to permit the erection of a memorial slab in +their church. Their reply to this was, that not only should they be +honoured by such a memento, but that, if allowed, they would have it +erected at their own cost.[10] + + [Illustration: The Order of the Bath] + +The first monthly portion of 'Vanity Fair' was published on February +1, 1847, in the yellow wrapper which served to distinguish it from +Charles Dickens's stories, and which afterwards became the standard +colour for the covers of Thackeray's serial stories. The work was +continued monthly, and finished with the number for July of the +following year. Thackeray's friends, and all those who had watched his +career with special interest, saw in it at once a work of greater +promise than any that had appeared since the dawn of his great +contemporary's fame; but the critical journals received it somewhat +coldly. There were indeed few tokens of its future success in the tone +of its reception at this early period. + + [Illustration: The British Army] + +It is generally acknowledged that to the thoughtful and appreciative +article in the 'Edinburgh Review' of January 1848, which dealt with +the first eleven numbers of the work only, is due the merit of +authoritatively calling attention to the great power it displayed. The +writer was evidently one who knew Thackeray well; for he gives a +sketch of his life, and mentions having met him some years before, +painting in the Louvre in Paris. 'In forming,' says this judicious +critic, 'our general estimate of this writer, we wish to be understood +as referring principally, if not exclusively, to "Vanity Fair" (a +novel in monthly parts), which, though still unfinished, is +immeasurably superior, in our opinion, to every other known production +of his pen. The great charm of this work is its entire freedom from +mannerism and affectation both in style and sentiment--confiding +frankness with which the reader is addressed--the thoroughbred +carelessness with which the author permits the thoughts and feelings +suggested by the situations to flow in their natural channel, as if +conscious that nothing mean or unworthy, nothing requiring to be +shaded, gilded, or dressed up in company attire, could fall from him. +In a word, the book is the work of a gentleman, which is one great +merit, and not the work of a fine (or would-be fine) gentleman, which +is another. Then, again, he never exhausts, elaborates, or insists too +much upon anything; he drops his finest remarks and happiest +illustrations as Buckingham dropped his pearls, and leaves them to be +picked up and appreciated as chance may bring a discriminating +observer to the spot. His effects are uniformly the effects of sound, +wholesome, legitimate art; and we need hardly add, that we are never +harrowed up with physical horrors of the Eugene Sue school in his +writings, or that there are no melodramatic villains to be found in +them. One touch of nature makes the whole world kin, and here are +touches of nature by the dozen. His pathos (though not so deep as +Dickens's) is exquisite; the more so, perhaps, because he seems to +struggle against it, and to be half ashamed of being caught in the +melting mood; but the attempt to be caustic, satirical, ironical, or +philosophical, on such occasions, is uniformly vain; and again and +again have we found reason to admire how an originally fine and kind +nature remains essentially free from worldliness, and, in the highest +pride of intellect, pays homage to the heart.' + + [Illustration: Sir Hector] + +It was at this time, his friend Hannay tells us, that he first had the +pleasure of seeing him. '"Vanity Fair,"' he adds, 'was then +unfinished, but its success was made; and he spoke frankly and +genially of his work and his career. "Vanity Fair" always, we think, +ranked in his own mind as best in story of his greater books; and he +once pointed out to us the very house in Russell Square where his +imaginary Sedleys lived--a curious proof of the reality his creations +had for his mind.' The same writer tells us that when he congratulated +Thackeray, many years ago, on the touch in 'Vanity Fair' in which +Becky admires her husband when he is giving Lord Steyne the +chastisement which ruins _her_ for life, the author answered with that +fervour as well as heartiness of frankness which distinguished him: +'Well, when I wrote the sentence, I slapped my fist on the table, and +said, "That is a touch of genius!"' 'Vanity Fair' soon rose rapidly in +public favour, and a new work from the pen of its author was eagerly +looked for. + + [Illustration: Sensitive to a point] + +During the time of publication of 'Vanity Fair' he had found time to +write and publish the little Christmas book entitled 'Our Street,' +which appeared in December 1847, and reached a second edition soon +after Christmas. 'Vanity Fair' was followed in 1849 by another long +work of fiction, entitled the 'History of Pendennis; his Fortunes and +Misfortunes, his Friends and his Greatest Enemy; with Illustrations by +the Author;' which was completed in two volumes. In this year, too, he +published 'Dr. Birch' and 'Rebecca and Rowena.' It was during the +publication of 'Pendennis' that a criticism in the 'Morning Chronicle' +and in the 'Examiner' newspapers drew from him a remarkable letter on +the 'Dignity of Literature,' addressed to the editor of the former +journal. + +It was a peculiarity of Thackeray to feel annoyed at adverse +criticism, and to show his annoyance in a way which more cautious men +generally abstain from. He did not conceal his feeling when an unjust +attack was levelled at him in an influential journal. He was not one +of those remonstrators who never see anything in the papers, but have +their attention called to them by friends. If he had seen, he frankly +avowed that he had seen the attack, and did not scruple to reply if he +had an opportunity, and the influence of the journal or reviewer made +it worth while. With the 'Times' he had had very early a bout of this +kind. When the little account of the funeral of Napoleon in 1840 was +published, the 'Times,' as he said, rated him, and talked in 'its own +great roaring way about the flippancy and conceit of Titmarsh,' to +which he had replied by a sharp paragraph or two. In 1850 a very +elaborate attack in the chief journal roused his satirical humour more +completely. The article which contained the offence was on the subject +of his Christmas book, entitled the 'Kickleburys on the Rhine,' +published in December 1850, upon which a criticism appeared in that +journal, beginning with the following passage:-- + + [Illustration: A Rhinelander] + + [Illustration: Over-weighted] + +'It has been customary, of late years, for the purveyors of amusing +literature--the popular authors of the day--to put forth certain +opuscles, denominated "Christmas Books," with the ostensible intention +of swelling the tide of exhilaration, or other expansive emotions, +incident upon the exodus of the old and the inauguration of the new +year. We have said that their ostensible intention was such, because +there is another motive for these productions, locked up (as the +popular author deems) in his own breast, but which betrays itself, in +the quality of the work, as his principal incentive. Oh! that any muse +should be set upon a high stool to cast up accounts and balance a +ledger! Yet so it is; and the popular author finds it convenient to +fill up the declared deficit and place himself in a position the more +effectually to encounter those liabilities which sternly assert +themselves contemporaneously and in contrast with the careless and +free-handed tendencies of the season by the emission of Christmas +books--a kind of literary _assignats_, representing to the emitter +expunged debts, to the receiver an investment of enigmatical value. +For the most part bearing the stamp of their origin in the vacuity of +the writer's exchequer rather than in the fulness of his genius, they +suggest by their feeble flavour the rinsings of a void brain after +the more important concoctions of the expired year. Indeed, we should +as little think of taking these compositions as examples of the merits +of their authors as we should think of measuring the valuable services +of Mr. Walker the postman, or Mr. Bell the dust-collector, by the copy +of verses they leave at our doors as a provocative of the expected +annual gratuity--effusions with which they may fairly be classed for +their intrinsic worth no less than their ultimate purport.' + + [Illustration: Too much for his horse] + +Upon this, and upon some little peculiarities of style in the review, +such as a passage in which the learned critic compared the author's +satirical attempts to 'the sardonic divings after the pearl of truth +whose lustre is eclipsed in the display of the diseased oyster,' +Thackeray replied in the preface to a second edition of the little +book, published a few days later, and entitled an 'Essay on Thunder +and Small Beer.' The style of the 'Times' critique, which was +generally attributed to Samuel Phillips, afforded too tempting a +subject for the satirical pen of the author of 'Vanity Fair,' to be +passed over. The easy humour with which he exposes the pompous +affectation of superiority in his critic, the tawdry sentences and +droll logic of his censor, whom he likened not to the awful thunderer +of Printing House Square, but to the thunderer's man, 'Jupiter Jeames, +trying to dazzle and roar like his awful employer,' afforded the town, +through the newspapers which copied the essay, an amount of amusement +not often derived from an author's defence of himself from adverse +criticism. + +The essay was remembered long after, when work after work of the +offending author was severely handled in the same paper; and the +recollection of it gave a shadow of support to the theory by which +some persons, on the occasion of Thackeray's death, endeavoured to +explain the fact that the obituary notice in the 'Times,' and the +account of his funeral, were more curt than those of any other +journal; while the 'Times' alone, of all the daily papers, omitted to +insert a leading article on the subject of the great loss which had +been sustained by the world of letters. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[10] Letter of Edmund Yates in the _Belfast Whig_. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + Commencement of the Series of Early Essayists -- Thackeray as a + Lecturer -- The 'English Humourists of the Eighteenth Century' -- + Charlotte Bronte at Thackeray's readings -- The Lectures repeated + in Edinburgh -- An invitation to visit America -- Transatlantic + popularity -- Special success attending the reception of the + 'English Humourists' in the States -- 'Week-day Preachers' -- + Enthusiastic Farewell -- Appleton's New York edition of + Thackeray's works; the Author's introduction, and remarks on + International Copyright -- Thackeray's departure -- Cordial + impression bequeathed to America -- The 'History of Henry Esmond, + a story of Queen Anne's Reign' -- The writers of the Augustan Era + -- The 'Newcomes' -- An allusion to George Washington + misunderstood -- A second visit to America -- Lectures on the + 'Four Georges' -- The series repeated at home -- Scotch sympathy + -- Thackeray proposed as a candidate to represent Oxford in + Parliament -- His liberal views and impartiality. + + +In 1851 Thackeray appeared in an entirely new character, but one which +subsequently proved so lucrative to him, that to this cause, even more +than to the labours of his pen, must be attributed that easy fortune +which he had accumulated before he died. In May he commenced the +delivery of a series of lectures on the English Humourists. The +subjects were--Swift, Congreve and Addison; Steele; Prior, Gay and +Pope; Hogarth, Smollett and Fielding, and Sterne and Goldsmith. The +lectures were delivered at Willis's Rooms. The price of admission was +high, and the audience was numerous, and of the most select kind. It +was not composed of that sort of people who crowd to pick up +information in the shape of facts with which they have been previously +unacquainted, but those who, knowing the eminence of the lecturer, +wished to hear his opinion on a subject of national interest. One of +the two great humourists of the present age was about to utter his +sentiments on the humourists of the age now terminated, and the +occasion was sufficient to create an interest which not even the +attractive power of the Great Exhibition, then open, could check. The +newspapers complained slightly of the low key in which the lecturer +spoke, from which cause many of his best points were sometimes lost to +the more distant of his auditors. 'In other respects,' says a +newspaper report, 'we cannot too highly praise the style of his +delivery.' Abstaining from rant and gesticulation he relied for his +effect on the matter which he uttered, and it was singular to see how +the isolated pictures by a few magic touches descended into the hearts +of his hearers. Among the most conspicuous of the literary ladies at +this gathering was Miss Bronte, the authoress of 'Jane Eyre.' She had +never before seen the author of 'Vanity Fair,' though she had +dedicated the second edition of her own celebrated novel to him, with +the assurance that she regarded him 'as the social regenerator of his +day--as the very master of that working corps who would restore to +rectitude the warped state of things.' Mrs. Gaskell tells us that, +when the lecture was over, the lecturer descended from the platform, +and making his way towards her, frankly asked her for her opinion. +'This,' adds Miss Bronte's biographer, 'she mentioned to me not many +days afterwards, adding remarks almost identical with those which I +subsequently read in "Villette," where a similar action on the part of +M. Paul Emanuel is related.' The remarks of this singular woman upon +Thackeray and his writings, and her accounts of her interviews with +him, are curious, and will be found scattered through Mrs. Gaskell's +popular biography. Readers of the 'Cornhill Magazine' will not have +forgotten Thackeray's affectionate and discriminating sketch of her, +which appeared some years later in that periodical. + +The course was perfectly successful, and the Lectures, subsequently +reprinted, rank among the most masterly of his writings. They were +delivered again soon afterwards in some of the provincial cities, +including Edinburgh. A droll anecdote was related at this period in +the newspapers, in connection with one of these provincial +appearances. Previously to delivering them in Scotland, the lecturer +bethought himself of addressing them to the rising youth of our two +great nurseries of the national mind; and it was necessary, before +appearing at Oxford, to obtain the licence of the authorities--a very +laudable arrangement, of course. The Duke of Wellington was the +Chancellor, who, if applied to, would doubtless have understood at +once the man and his business. The Duke lived in the broad atmosphere +of the every-day world, and a copy of 'Vanity Fair' was on a snug +shelf at Walmer Castle. But his deputy at Oxford, on whom the modest +applicant waited, knew less about such trifles as 'Vanity Fair' and +'Pendennis.' 'Pray what can I do to serve you, sir?' enquired the +bland functionary. 'My name is Thackeray.' 'So I see by this card.' 'I +seek permission to lecture within the precincts.' 'Ah! you are a +lecturer; what subjects do you undertake--religious or political?' +'Neither; I am a literary man.' 'Have you written anything?' 'Yes; I +am the author of "Vanity Fair."' 'I presume a dissenter--has that +anything to do with John Bunyan's book?' 'Not exactly; I have also +written "Pendennis."' 'Never heard of these works; but no doubt they +are proper books.' 'I have also contributed to "Punch."' '"Punch!" I +have heard of _that_; is it not a ribald publication?' + +An invitation to deliver the lectures in America speedily followed. +The public interest which heralded his coming in the United States was +such as could hardly have been expected for a writer of fiction who +had won his fame by so little appeal to the love of exciting scenes. +His visit (as an American critic remarked at the time) at least +demonstrated that if they were unwilling to pay English authors for +their books, they were ready to reward them handsomely for the +opportunity of seeing and hearing them. + +At first the public feeling on the other side of the Atlantic had been +very much divided as to his probable reception. 'He'll come and humbug +us, eat our dinners, pocket our money, and go home and abuse us, like +Dickens,' said Jonathan, chafing with the remembrance of that grand +ball at the Park Theatre, and the Boz tableaux, and the universal +speaking and dining, to which the author of 'Pickwick' was subject +while he was their guest. 'Let him have his say,' said others, 'and we +will have our look. We will pay a dollar to hear him, if we can see +him at the same time; and as for the abuse, why it takes even more +than two such cubs of the roaring British lion to frighten the +American eagle. Let him come, and give him fair play.' He did come, +and certainly had fair play; and as certainly there was no +disappointment with his lectures. Those who knew his books found the +author in the lecturer. Those who did not know the books, says one +enthusiastic critic, 'were charmed in the lecturer by what is +charming in the author--the unaffected humanity, the tenderness, the +sweetness, the genial play of fancy, and the sad touch of truth, with +that glancing stroke of satire which, lightning-like, illumines while +it withers.' He did not visit the West, nor Canada. He went home +without seeing Niagara Falls. But wherever he did go, he found a +generous social welcome, and a respectful and sympathetic hearing. He +came to fulfil no mission; but it was felt that his visit had knit +more closely the sympathy of the Americans with Englishmen. Heralded +by various romantic memoirs, he smiled at them, stoutly asserted that +he had been always able to command a good dinner, and to pay for it, +nor did he seek to disguise that he hoped his American tour would help +him to command and pay for more. He promised not to write a book about +the Americans, and he kept his word. + + [Illustration: An old English gentleman] + +His first lecture was delivered to a crowded audience: on November 19 +he commenced his lectures before the Mercantile Library Association, +in the spacious New York church belonging to the congregation presided +over by the Rev. Dr. Chapin. + + [Illustration: Another 'Spectator'] + +Before many days the publishers told the world that the subject of +Thackeray's talk had given rise to a Swift and Congreve and Addison +furore. The booksellers were driving a thrifty trade in forgotten +volumes of 'Old English Essayists;' the 'Spectator' found its way +again to the parlour tables; old Sir Roger de Coverley was waked up +from his long sleep. 'Tristram Shandy' even was almost forgiven his +lewdness, and the Ass of Melun and Poor Le Fevre were studied +wistfully, and placed on the library table between 'Gulliver' and the +'Rake's Progress.' Girls were working Maria's pet lamb upon their +samplers, and hundreds of Lilliput literary ladies were twitching the +mammoth Gulliver's whiskers. + +The newspaper gossipers were no less busy in noting every personal +characteristic of the author. One remarks: 'As for the man himself who +has lectured us, he is a stout, healthful, broad-shouldered specimen +of a man, with cropped greyish hair, and keenish grey eyes, peering +very sharply through a pair of spectacles that have a very satiric +focus. He seems to stand strongly on his own feet, as if he would not +be easily blown about or upset, either by praise or pugilists; a man +of good digestion, who takes the world easy, and scents all shams and +humours (straightening them between his thumb and forefinger) as he +would a pinch of snuff.' A London letter of the time says: 'The New +York journalists preserve, on the whole, a delicate silence (very +creditable to them) on the subject of Mr. Thackeray's nose; but they +are eloquent about his legs; and when the last mail left a controversy +was raging among them on this matter, one party maintaining that "he +stands very firm on his legs," while the opposition asserted that his +legs were decidedly "shaky."' + + [Illustration] + +These, however, were light matters compared with the notices in other +newspapers, which unscrupulously raked together, for the amusement of +their readers, details which were mostly untrue, and where true, were +of too private a character for public discussion. This led to a +humorous remonstrance, forwarded by Thackeray to 'Fraser's Magazine,' +where it appeared with the signature of 'John Small.' In this he gave +a droll parody of his newspaper biographers' style, which caused some +resentment on the part of the writers attacked. One Transatlantic +defender of the New York press said that 'the two most personal +accounts of Thackeray published appeared in one of the Liverpool +papers, and in the London "Spectator;"' adding, 'the London +correspondents of some of the provincial papers spare nothing of fact +or comment touching the private life of public characters. Nay, are +there not journals expressly devoted to the contemporary biography of +titled, wealthy, and consequential personages, which will tell you +how, and in what company, they eat, drink, and travel; their itinerary +from the country to London, and from the metropolis to the Continent; +the probable marriages, alliances, &c.? No journal can be better +acquainted with these conditions of English society than the classical +and vivacious "Fraser." Why, then, does John Small address that London +editor from New York, converting some paltry and innocent-enough +penny-a-liner notice of the author of "Vanity Fair" into an enormous +national sin and delinquency?' Among the lectures delivered at New +York, before he quitted the gay circles of the 'Empire City' for +Boston, was one in behalf of a charity; and the charity lecture was +stated to be a _melange_ of all the others, closing very appropriately +with an animated tribute to the various literary, social, and humane +qualities of Charles Dickens. 'Papa,' he described his daughter as +exclaiming, with childish candour; 'papa, I like Mr. Dickens's book +much better than yours.' + +The remonstrance of John Small in 'Fraser,' however, did not conclude +without a warm acknowledgment of the general kindness he had received +in America, thus feelingly expressed in his last lecture of the +series, delivered on April 7. 'In England,' he said, 'it was my +custom, after the delivery of these lectures, to point such a moral as +seemed to befit the country I lived in, and to protest against an +outcry which some brother authors of mine most imprudently and +unjustly raise, when they say that our profession is neglected and its +professors held in light esteem. Speaking in this country, I would say +that such a complaint could not only not be advanced, but could not +even be understood here, where your men of letters take their manly +share in public life; whence Everett goes as minister to Washington, +and Irving and Bancroft to represent the Republic in the old country. +And if to English authors the English public is, as I believe, kind +and just in the main, can any of us say, will any who visit your +country not proudly and gratefully own, with what a cordial and +generous greeting you receive us? I look around on this great +company. I think of my gallant young patrons of the Mercantile Library +Association, as whose servant I appear before you, and of the kind +hand stretched out to welcome me by men famous in letters, and +honoured in our own country as in their own, and I thank you and them +for a most kindly greeting and a most generous hospitality. At home +and amongst his own people it scarce becomes an English writer to +speak of himself; his public estimation must depend on his works; his +private esteem on his character and his life. But here, among friends +newly found, I ask leave to say that I am thankful; and I think with a +grateful heart of those I leave behind me at home, who will be proud +of the welcome you hold out to me, and will benefit, please God, when +my days of work are over, by the kindness which you show to their +father.' + +A still more interesting paper was his Preface to Messrs. Appleton and +Co.'s New York edition of his minor works. Readers will remember +Thackeray's droll account, in one of his lectures, of his first +interview with the agent of Appleton and Co., when holding on, +sea-sick, to the bulwarks of the New York steam-vessel on his outward +voyage. The preface referred to contains evidence that the appeal of +the energetic representative of that well-known publishing house was +not altogether fruitless. It is as follows:-- + +'On coming into this country I found that the projectors of this +series of little books had preceded my arrival by publishing a number +of early works, which have appeared under various pseudonyms during +the last fifteen years. I was not the master to choose what stories of +mine should appear or not; these miscellanies were all advertised, or +in course of publication; nor have I had the good fortune to be able +to draw a pen, or alter a blunder of author or printer, except in the +case of the accompanying volumes which contain contributions to +"Punch," whence I have been enabled to make something like a +selection. In the "Letters of Mr. Brown," and the succeeding short +essays and descriptive pieces, something graver and less burlesque was +attempted than in other pieces which I here publish. My friend, the +"Fat Contributor," accompanied Mr. Titmarsh in his "Journey from +Cornhill to Cairo." The prize novels contain imitations of the +writings of some contemporaries who still live and flourish in the +novelists' calling. I myself had scarcely entered on it when these +burlesque tales were begun, and I stopped further parody from a sense +that this merry task of making fun of the novelists should be left to +younger hands than my own; and in a little book published some four +years since, in England, by my friends Messrs. Hannay and Shirley +Brooks, I saw a caricature of myself and writings to the full as +ludicrous and faithful as the prize novels of Mr. Punch. Nor was +there, had I desired it, any possibility of preventing the +re-appearance of these performances. Other publishers, besides the +Messrs. Appleton, were ready to bring my hidden works to the light. +Very many of the other books printed I have not seen since their +appearance twelve years ago, and it was with no small feelings of +curiosity (remembering under what sad circumstances the tale had been +left unfinished) that I bought the incomplete "Shabby Genteel Story," +in a railway car, on my first journey from Boston hither, from a +rosy-cheeked, little peripatetic book merchant, who called out +"Thackeray's Works" in such a kind, gay voice, as gave me a feeling of +friendship and welcome. + + [Illustration] + +'There is an opportunity of being either satiric or sentimental. The +careless papers written at an early period, and never seen since the +printer's boy carried them away, are brought back and laid at the +father's door; and he cannot, if he would, forget or disown his own +children. + +'Why were some of the little brats brought out of their obscurity? I +own to a feeling of anything but pleasure in reviewing some of these +misshapen juvenile creatures, which the publisher has disinterred and +resuscitated. There are two performances especially (among the +critical and biographical works of the erudite Mr. Yellowplush) which +I am very sorry to see reproduced; and I ask pardon of the author of +the "Caxtons" for a lampoon, which I know he himself has forgiven, and +which I wish I could recall. + +'I had never seen that eminent writer but once in public when this +satire was penned, and wonder at the recklessness of the young man who +could fancy such personality was harmless jocularity, and never +calculate that it might give pain. The best experiences of my life +have been gained since that time of youth and gaiety, and careless +laughter. I allude to them, perhaps, because I would not have any kind +and friendly American reader judge of me by the wild performances of +early years. Such a retrospect as the sight of these old acquaintances +perforce occasioned cannot, if it would, be gay. The old scenes +return, the remembrance of the bygone time, the chamber in which the +stories were written, the faces that shone round the table. + +'Some biographers in this country have been pleased to depict that +homely apartment after a very strange and romantic fashion; and an +author in the direst struggles of poverty, waited upon by a family +domestic in "all the splendour of his menial decorations," has been +circumstantially described to the reader's amusement as well as to the +writer's own. I may be permitted to assure the former that the +splendour and the want were alike fanciful, and that the meals were +not only sufficient but honestly paid for. + +'That extreme liberality with which American publishers have printed +the works of English authors has had at least this beneficial result +for us, that our names and writings are known by multitudes using our +common mother tongue, who never had heard of us or our books but for +the speculators who have sent them all over this continent. + +'It is of course not unnatural for the English writer to hope that +some day he may share a portion of the profits which his works bring +at present to the persons who vend them in this country; and I am +bound gratefully to say myself, that since my arrival here I have met +with several publishing houses who are willing to acknowledge our +little claim to participate in the advantages arising out of our +books; and the present writer having long since ascertained that a +portion of a loaf is more satisfactory than no bread at all, +gratefully accepts and acknowledges several slices which the +book-purveyors in this city have proffered to him of their own +free-will. + +'If we are not paid in full and in specie as yet, English writers +surely ought to be thankful for the very great kindness and +friendliness with which the American public receives them; and if in +hope some day that measures may pass here to legalise our right to +profit a little by the commodities which we invent and in which we +deal, I for one can cheerfully say that the good-will towards us from +publishers and public is undoubted, and wait for still better times +with perfect confidence and good-humour. + +'If I have to complain of any special hardship, it is not that our +favourite works are reproduced, and our children introduced to the +American public--children whom we have educated with care, and in whom +we take a little paternal pride--but that ancient magazines are +ransacked, and shabby old articles dragged out, which we had gladly +left in the wardrobes where they have lain hidden many years. There is +no control, however, over a man's thoughts--once uttered and printed, +back they may come upon us on any sudden day; and in this collection +which Messrs. Appleton are publishing I find two or three such early +productions of my own that I gladly would take back, but that they +have long since gone out of the paternal guardianship. + +'If not printed in this series, they would have appeared from other +presses, having not the slightest need of the author's own imprimatur; +and I cannot sufficiently condole with a literary gentleman of this +city, who (in his voyages of professional adventure) came upon an +early performance of mine, which shall be nameless, carried the news +of the discovery to a publisher of books, and had actually done me the +favour to sell my book to that liberal man; when, behold, Messrs. +Appleton announced the book in the press, and my _confrere_ had to +refund the prize-money which had been paid to him. And if he is a +little chagrined at finding other intrepid voyagers beforehand with +him in taking possession of my island, and the American flag already +floating there, he will understand the feelings of the harmless but +kindly-treated aboriginal, who makes every sign of peace, who smokes +the pipe of submission, and meekly acquiesces in his own annexation. + +'It is said that those only who win should laugh: I think, in this +case, my readers will not grudge the losing side its share of harmless +good-humour. If I have contributed to theirs, or provided them with +means of amusement, I am glad to think my books have found favour with +the American public, as I am proud to own the great and cordial +welcome with which they have received me. + + 'W. M. THACKERAY. + 'New York, December 1852.' + +Such words could not fail to be gratifying to the American people, as +an evidence of Thackeray's sense of the reception he had received; and +in spite of a subsequent slight misunderstanding founded on a mistake +and speedily cleared up, it may be said that no English writer of +fiction was ever more popular in the United States. + + [Illustration: A mere accident] + + [Illustration] + +The publication of the 'Adventures of Henry Esmond,' which appeared +just as its author was starting for America in 1852, marked an +important epoch in his career. It was a continuous story, and one +worked out with closer attention to the thread of the narrative than +he had hitherto produced--a fact due, no doubt, partly to its +appearance in three volumes complete, instead of in detached monthly +portions. But its most striking feature was its elaborate imitation of +the style and even the manner of thought of the time of Queen Anne's +reign, in which its scenes were laid. The preparation of his Lectures +on the Humourists had no doubt suggested to him the idea of writing a +story of this kind, as it afterwards suggested to him the design of +writing a history of that period which he had long entertained, but in +which he had, we believe, made no progress when he died. But his +fondness for the Queen Anne writers was of older date. Affectionate +allusions to Sir Richard Steele--like himself a Charterhouse boy--and +to Addison, and Pope, and Swift, may be found in his earliest magazine +articles. That the style with which the author of 'Vanity Fair' and +'Pendennis' had so often delighted his readers was to some degree +formed upon those models so little studied in his boyhood, cannot be +doubted by anyone who is familiar with the literature of the 'Augustan +age of English authorship.' The writers of that period were fond of +French models, as the writers of Elizabeth's time looked to Italy for +their literary inspiration; but there was no time when English prose +was generally written with more purity and ease; for the translation +of the Scriptures, which is generally referred to as an evidence of +the perfection of our English speech in Elizabeth's time, owed its +strength and simplicity chiefly to the rejection by the pious +translators of the scholarly style most in vogue, in favour of the +homely English then current among the people. If we except the +pamphlet writers of earlier reigns, the Queen Anne writers were the +first who systematically wrote for the people in plain Saxon English, +not easy to imitate in these days. 'Esmond' was from the first most +liked among literary men who can appreciate a style having no +resemblance to the fashion of the day; but there was a vein of +tenderness and true pathos in the story which, in spite of some +objectionable features in the plot, and of a somewhat wearisome +genealogical introduction, has by degrees gained for it a high rank +among the author's works. 'Esmond' was followed by the 'Newcomes,' in +1855, a work which revealed a deeper pathos than any of his previous +novels, and showed that the author could, when he pleased, give us +pictures of moral beauty and exquisite tenderness. In this work he +returned to the yellow numbers in the old monthly form. + + [Illustration] + +An incident in connection with the publication of the 'Newcomes' may +here be mentioned. Thackeray's fondness for irony had frequently +brought him into disgrace with people not so ready as himself in +understanding that dangerous figure. A passage in one of his chapters +of this story alluding to 'Mr. Washington,' in a parody of the style +of the 'British Patriot' of the time of the War of Independence, was +so far misunderstood in America that the fact was alluded to by the +New York correspondent of the 'Times.' Upon which the author felt it +worth his while to explain the real sense of the offending paragraph +in a letter to that journal, and, in the concluding paragraph, he very +explicitly sets forth his own sincere convictions in regard to the +hero of American Independence, and his belief in the justice of the +cause for which he conquered.[11] + + [Illustration: An embarrassing situation] + + [Illustration: 1780] + +Another journey to the United States, equally successful, and equally +profitable in a pecuniary sense, was the chief event in his life in +1856. The lectures delivered were those admirable anecdotal and +reflective discourses on the 'Four Georges,' made familiar to readers +by their publication in the 'Cornhill Magazine,' and since then in a +separate form. The subject was not favourable to the display of the +author's more genial qualities. But where in English literature could +we find anything more solemn and affecting than his picture of the old +king, the third of that name? When 'all light, all reason, all sound +of human voices, all the pleasures of this world of God were taken +from him'--concluding with the affecting appeal to his American +audience--'O brothers! speaking the same dear mother tongue--O +comrades! enemies no more, let us take a mournful hand together as we +stand by this royal corpse, and call a truce to battle! Low he lies to +whom the proudest used to kneel once, and who was cast lower than the +poorest--dead whom millions prayed for in vain. Hush, Strife and +Quarrels, over the solemn grave! Sound, Trumpets, a mournful march. +Fall, Dark Curtain, upon his pageant, his pride, his grief, his awful +tragedy!' + +These lectures were successfully repeated in England. Thackeray, +indeed, was now recognised as one of the most attractive lecturers of +the day. His presence, whether in lecturing on the 'Georges' for his +own profit, or on 'Week-day Preachers,' or some other topic for the +benefit of the families of deceased brother writers, such as he +delivered to assist in raising monuments to the memories of Angus B. +Reach and Douglas Jerrold, always attracted the most cultivated +classes of the various cities in which he appeared; but an attempt to +draw together a large audience of the less-educated classes by giving +a course of lectures at the great Music Hall was less happy. In +Edinburgh his reception was always in the highest degree successful. +He was more extensively known and admired among the intellectual +portion of the people of Scotland than any living writer, not +excepting Thomas Carlyle. There was something in his peculiar genius +that commended him to the Northern temperament. Thackeray delivered +his essays on the 'Four Georges' in Scotland to larger and more +intellectual audiences than have probably flocked to any other +lecturer, and he, later on, lectured there for the benefit of Angus B. +Reach's widow. Nearly all the men of Edinburgh, with any tincture of +literature, had met him personally, and a few knew him well. He was +almost the only great author that the majority of the lovers of +literature in it had seen and heard, and his form and figure and +voice, with its tragic tones and pauses, well entitled him to take his +place in any ideal rank of giants. He was much gratified (says James +Hannay) by the success of the 'Four Georges' (a series which +superseded an earlier scheme for as many discourses on 'Men of the +World') in Scotland. 'I have had three per cent. of the whole +population here,' he wrote from Edinburgh in November 1856. 'If I +could but get three per cent. out of London!' + +Most of Thackeray's readers will remember that in 1857 he was invited +by some friends to offer himself as a candidate for the representation +in Parliament of the city of Oxford. + + [Illustration: Champions of order] + +A characteristic anecdote was told in the newspapers relating to the +Oxford election by one who was staying with Thackeray at his hotel +during his contest with Mr. Cardwell. Whilst looking out of window a +crowd passed along the street, hooting and handling rather roughly +some of his opponent's supporters. Thackeray started up in the +greatest possible excitement, and, using some strong expletive, rushed +down stairs, and notwithstanding the efforts of numerous old +electioneerers to detain him, who happened to be of opinion that a +trifling correction of the opposite party might be beneficial _pour +encourager les autres_, he was not to be deterred, and was next seen +towering above the crowd, dealing about him right and left in defence +of the partisans of his antagonist and in defiance of his own friends. + + +FOOTNOTE: + +[11] A somewhat similar circumstance happened during the delivery of +the lectures in America, an allusion in which to 'Catherine Hayes' was +warmly resented by the Irish newspapers, until the explanation arrived +from Thackeray that the allusion was not to Catherine Hayes, the +famous Irish singer, but to Catherine Hayes, the murderess of the last +century. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + Curious Authors from Thackeray's Library, indicating the Course + of his Readings -- Early Essayists illustrated with the + Humourist's Pencillings -- Bishop Earle's 'Microcosmography; a + piece of the World Characterised,' 1628 -- An 'Essay in Defence + of the Female Sex,' 1697 -- Thackeray's Interest in Works on the + Spiritual World -- 'Flagellum Daemonum, et Fustis Daemonum. Auctore + R. P. F. Hieronymo Mengo,' 1727 -- 'La Magie et L'Astrologie,' + par L. F. Alfred Maury -- 'Magic, Witchcraft, Animal Magnetism, + Hypnotism, and Electro Biology,' by James Baird, 1852. + + +MICROCOSMOGRAPHY (1628), + +OR A PIECE OF THE WORLD DISCOVERED IN ESSAYS AND CHARACTERS. + +BY JOHN EARLE, D.D., BISHOP OF SALISBURY. + + +_Preface to the Edition of 1732._ + +This little book had six editions between 1628 and 1633, without any +author's name to recommend it. An eighth edition is spoken of in 1664. +The present is reprinted from the edition of 1633, without altering +anything but the plain errors of the press, and the old printing and +spelling in some places. + +The language is generally easy, and proves our English tongue not to +be so very changeable as is commonly supposed. The change of fashions +unavoidably casts a shade upon a few places, yet even those contain an +exact picture of the age wherein they were written, as the rest does +of mankind in general; for reflections founded upon nature will be +just in the main, as long as men are men, though the particular +instances of vice and folly may be diversified. Perhaps these valuable +essays may be as acceptable to the public as they were at first; both +for the entertainment of those who are already experienced in the ways +of mankind, and for the information of others who would know the world +the best way, that is--without trying it. + + +_Advertisement to the Edition of 1786._ + + 'This entertaining little book is become rather scarce, + and is replete with so much good sense and genuine humour, + which, though in part adapted to the times when it first + appeared, seems on the whole by no means inapplicable to + any era of mankind.' + +Earle's 'Microcosmography' is undoubtedly a favourable example of the +quaint epigrammatic wisdom of the early English writers, and few could +question the appropriateness of the pencil which has lightly margined +the settings of these terse and sterling essays, to the wisdom and +humour of which the happiest productions of later essayists can but be +appreciatively likened. Concerning the profoundly accomplished and +eminently modest author, 'a most eloquent and powerful preacher, a man +of great piety and devotion; and of a conversation so pleasant and +delightful, so very innocent, and so very facetious, that no man's +company was more desired and more loved; no man was more negligent in +his dress, habit, and mien, no man more wary and cultivated in his +behaviour and discourse; insomuch as he had the greater advantage when +he was known, by promising so little before,' we may accept the +testimony of Lord Clarendon's 'Account of his own Life.' The +observations of the great Chancellor are supplemented by the character +which honest Isaac Walton has sketched of this estimable prelate in +his 'Life of Hooker.' + +'... Dr. Earle, now Lord Bishop of Salisbury,[12] of whom I may justly +say (and let it not offend him, because it is such a truth as ought +not to be concealed from posterity, or those that now live and yet +know him not) that since Mr. Hooker died, none have lived whom God +hath blessed with more innocent wisdom, more sanctified learning, or a +more pious, peaceable, primitive temper; so that this excellent person +seems to be only like himself, and our venerable Richard Hooker.' + + [Illustration] + + +A CHILD + +Is a man in a small letter, yet the best copy of Adam before he tasted +of Eve or the apple; and he is happy whose small practice in the world +can only write his character. He is nature's fresh picture newly drawn +in oil, which time, and much handling, dims and defaces. His soul is +yet a white paper unscribbled with observations of the world, +wherewith at length it becomes a blurred notebook. He is purely happy +because he knows no evil, nor hath made means by sin to be acquainted +with misery. He arrives not at the mischief of being wise, nor endures +evils to come by foreseeing them. He kisses and loves all, and, when +the smart of the rod is past, smiles on his beater. Nature, and his +parents alike, dandle him, and 'tice him on with a bit of sugar to a +draught of wormwood. He plays yet like a young 'prentice the first +day, and is not come to his task of melancholy. + +All the language he speaks yet is tears, and they serve him well +enough to express his necessity. His hardest labour is his tongue, as +if he were loth to use so deceitful an organ, and he is best company +with it when he can but prattle. We laugh at his foolish sports, but +his game is our earnest, and his drums, rattles, and hobby-horses, but +the emblems and mocking of man's business. His father hath writ him as +his own little story, wherein he reads those days of his life that he +cannot remember, and sighs to see what innocence he hath outlived. The +older he grows, he is a star lower from God; and, like his first +father, much worse in his breeches. He is the Christian's example, and +the old man's relapse; the one imitates his pureness, and the other +falls into his simplicity. Could he put off his body with his little +coat, he had got eternity without a burden, and exchanged but one +heaven for another. + + +AN UPSTART KNIGHT. + + [Illustration] + +An upstart country knight is a holiday clown, and differs only in the +stuff of his clothes, not the stuff of himself, for he bare the king's +sword before he had arms to wield it; yet being once laid o'er the +shoulder with a knighthood, he finds the herald his friend. His father +was a man of good stock, though but a tanner or usurer; he purchased +the land, and his son the title. He has doffed off the name of a +country lout, but the look not so easy, and his face still bears a +relish of churn milk. He is guarded with more gold lace than all the +gentlemen of the country, yet his body makes his clothes still out of +fashion. His housekeeping is seen much in the distinct families of +dogs, and serving-men attendant on their kennels, and the deepness of +their throats is the depth of his discourse. + +A justice of peace he is to domineer in his parish, and do his +neighbour wrong with more right. He will be drunk with his hunters for +company, and stain his gentility with drippings of ale. He is fearful +of being sheriff of the shire by instinct, and dreads the assize week +as much as the prisoner. + +In sum, he's but a clod of his own earth, or his land is the dunghill, +and he the cock that crows over it; and commonly his race is quickly +run, and his children's children, though they 'scape hanging, return +to the place from whence they came. + + +A PLAIN COUNTRY-FELLOW. + + [Illustration] + +A plain country-fellow is one that manures his ground well, but lets +himself lie fallow and untilled. He has reason enough to do his +business, and not enough to be idle and melancholy. He seems to have +the punishment of Nebuchadnezzar, for his conversation is among +beasts, and his talons none of the shortest, only he eats not grass +because he loves not salads. His hand guides the plough, and the +plough his thoughts, and his ditch and landmark is the very mound of +his meditations. He expostulates with his oxen very understandingly, +and speaks gee, and ree, better than English. His mind is not much +distracted with objects, but if a good fat sow come in his way, he +stands dumb and astonished, and though his haste be never so great, +will fix here half an hour's contemplation. His habitation is some +poor thatched roof, distinguished from his barn by the loop-holes that +let out smoke, which the rain had long since washed through, but for +the double ceiling of bacon on the inside, which has hung there from +his grandsire's time, and is yet to make rashers for posterity. His +dinner is his other work, for he sweats at it as much as at his +labour; he is a terrible fastener on a piece of beef, and you may hope +to stave the guard off sooner. His religion is part of his copyhold, +which he takes from his landlord, and refers it wholly to his +discretion. Yet if he give him leave he is a good Christian to his +power--that is, comes to church in his best clothes, and sits there +with his neighbours, where he is capable only of two prayers, for +rain, and fair weather. He apprehends God's blessings only in a good +year, or a fat pasture, and never praises Him but on _good ground_. +Sunday he esteems a day to make merry in, and thinks a bagpipe as +essential to it as evening prayer, when he walks very solemnly after +service with his hands coupled behind him, and censures the dancing of +his parish. His compliment with his neighbour is a good thump on the +back, and his salutation commonly some blunt curse. He thinks nothing +to be vices, but pride and ill husbandry, from which he will gravely +dissuade the youth, and has some thrifty hob-nail proverbs to clout +his discourse. He is a niggard all the week, except only market days, +when, if his corn sell well, he thinks he may be drunk with a good +conscience. He is sensible of no calamity but the burning of a stack +of corn, or the overflowing of a meadow, and thinks Noah's flood the +greatest plague that ever was, not because it drowned the world, but +spoiled the grass. For death he is never troubled, and if he get in +but his harvest before, let it come when it will, he cares not. + + +A POT POET. + +A pot poet is the dregs of wit, yet mingled with good drink may have +some relish. His inspirations are more real than others, for they do +but feign a god, but he has his by him. His verse runs like the tap, +and his invention as the barrel ebbs and flows at the mercy of the +spiggot. In thin drink he aspires not above a ballad, but a cup of +sack inflames him, and sets his muse and nose a-fire together. The +press is his mint, and stamps him now and then a sixpence or two in +reward of the baser coin, his pamphlet. His works would scarce sell +for three halfpence, though they are given oft for three shillings, +but for the pretty title that allures the country gentleman; for which +the printer maintains him in ale for a fortnight. His verses are, like +his clothes, miserable stolen scraps and patches, yet their pace is +not altogether so hobbling as an almanac's. The death of a great man, +or the burning of a house, furnish him with an argument, and the nine +muses are out strait in mourning gowns, and Melpomene cries 'Fire! +fire!' His other poems are but briefs in rhyme, and, like the poor +Greek's collections, to redeem from captivity. + + [Illustration] + +His frequentest works go out in single sheets, and are chanted from +market to market to a vile tune and a viler throat; whilst the poor +country wench melts like her butter to hear them. And these are the +stories of some men of Tyburn, or of a strange monster broken loose; +or sitting in a tap-room he writes sermons on judgments. He drops away +at last, and his life, like a can too full, spills upon the bench. He +leaves twenty shillings on the score, which his hostess loses. + + +A BOWL ALLEY. + +A bowl alley is the place where there are three things thrown away +besides bowls--to wit, time, money, and curses, and the last ten for +one. The best sport in it is the gamesters, and he enjoys it that +looks on and bets not. It is the school of wrangling, and worse than +the schools, for men will cavil here for a hair's breadth, and make a +stir where a straw would end the controversy. No antic screws men's +bodies into such strange flexures, and you would think them here +senseless, to speak sense to their bowl, and put their trust in +entreaties for a good cast. It is the best discovery of humours, +especially in the losers, where you have fine variety of impatience, +whilst some fret, some rail, some swear, and others more ridiculously +comfort themselves with philosophy. To give you the moral of it, it is +the emblem of the world, or the world's ambition; where most are +short, or over, or wide, or wrong-biassed, and some few justle in to +the mistress of fortune. And it is here as in the court, where the +nearest are most spited, and all blows aimed at the toucher. + + [Illustration] + + +A HANDSOME HOSTESS. + + [Illustration] + +A handsome hostess is the fairer commendation of an inn, above the +fair sign, or fair lodgings. She is the loadstone that attracts men of +iron, gallants and roarers, where they cleave sometimes long, and are +not easily got off. Her lips are your welcome, and your entertainment +her company, which is put into the reckoning too, and is the dearest +parcel in it. No citizen's wife is demurer than she at the first +greeting, nor draws in her mouth with a chaster simper; but you may be +more familiar without distaste, and she does not startle at a loose +jest. She is the confusion of a pottle of sack more than would have +been spent elsewhere, and her little jugs are accepted to have her +kiss excuse them. She may be an honest woman, but is not believed so +in her parish, and no man is a greater infidel in it than her husband. + + +A POOR FIDDLER. + + [Illustration] + +A poor fiddler is a man and a fiddle out of case, and he in worse case +than his fiddle. One that rubs two sticks together (as the Indians +strike fire), and rubs a poor living out of it; partly from this, and +partly from your charity, which is more in the hearing than giving +him, for he sells nothing dearer than to be gone. He is just so many +strings above a beggar, though he have but two; and yet he begs too. +Hunger is the greatest pain he takes, except a broken head sometimes. +Otherwise his life is so many fits of mirth, and 'tis some mirth to +see him. A good feast shall draw him five miles by the nose, and you +shall track him again by the scent. His other pilgrimages are fairs +and good houses, where his devotion is great to the Christmas; and no +man loves good times better. He is in league with the tapsters for the +worshipful of the inn, whom he torments next morning with his art, and +has their names more perfect than their men. A new song is better to +him than a new jacket, especially if it be lewd, which he calls merry; +and hates naturally the puritan, as an enemy to this mirth. A country +wedding and Whitsun-ale are the two main places he domineers in, where +he goes for a musician, and overlooks the bagpipe. The rest of him is +drunk, and in the stocks. + + +A COWARD. + +A coward is the man that is commonly most fierce against the coward, +and labouring to take off this suspicion from himself; for the opinion +of valour is a good protection to those that dare not use it. No man +is valianter than he is in civil company, and where he thinks no +danger may come of it, and is the readiest man to fall upon a drawer +and those that must not strike again; wonderfully exceptious and +choleric where he sees men are loth to give him occasion, and you +cannot pacify him better than by quarrelling with him. The hotter you +grow, the more temperate man is he; he protests he always honoured +you, and the more you rail upon him, the more he honours you, and you +threaten him at last into a very honest quiet man. The sight of a +sword wounds him more sensibly than the stroke, for before that come, +he is dead already. Every man is his master that dare beat him, and +every man dares that knows him. And he who dare do this is the only +man that can do much with him; for his friend he cares not, as a man +that carries no such terror as his enemy, which for this cause only is +more potent with him of the two; and men fall out with him on purpose +to get courtesies from him, and be bribed again to a reconcilement. A +man in whom no secret can be bound up, for the apprehension of each +danger loosens him, and makes him betray both the room and it. He is a +Christian merely for fear of hell fire; and if any religion could +frighten him more, would be of that. + + [Illustration] + + +(_APPENDIX._) + +CHARACTERS FROM THE 'FRATERNITY OF VAGABONDS.' + +WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE CRAFTY COMPANY OF CUSONERS AND SHIFTERS, +WHEREUNTO IS ADDED THE TWENTY-FIVE ORDERS OF KNAVES. 1565. + +'A RUFFLER goeth with a weapon to seek service, saying he hath been a +servitor in the wars, and beggeth for relief. But his chiefest trade +is to rob poor wayfaring men and market-women. + + [Illustration] + +'An UPRIGHT MAN is one that goeth with the truncheon of a staff. This +man is of so much authority, that, meeting with any of his profession, +he may call them to account, and command a share or "snap" unto +himself of all that they have gained by their trade in one month. + +'A WHIPIAKE, or fresh-water mariner, is a person who travels with a +counterfeit license in the dress of a sailor. + +'An ABRAHAM MAN (hence to "_Sham-Abraham_") is he that walketh +bare-armed and bare-legged, and feigneth himself mad, and carryeth a +pack of wool, or a stick with a bauble on it, or such-like toy, and +nameth himself "Poor Tom."' + + +AN ESSAY IN DEFENCE OF THE FEMALE SEX. + +DEDICATED TO THE PRINCESS ANNE OF DENMARK. + + [Illustration] + +As this book does not bear the reputation of being generally familiar, +we give a slight sketch of its contents. The vitality of a work +depends in so large a degree on the estimation which its subject +happens to secure at the date of publication, that, as a rule, it may +be held when a book is forgotten, or extinguished before its first +spark of life has time to catch popular attention, the fault is its +own, and, being buried, it is a charity to allow its last rest to +remain undisturbed. We are inclined to believe, however, that this +little treatise forms an exception. The 'Essay in Defence of the +Female Sex' is written by a lady. The third edition, which now comes +under our consideration as having formed one of the works in +Thackeray's library (illustrated with original little sketches of the +characters dealt with by their authors), was published in 1697, at the +signs of the 'Black Boy' and the 'Peacock,' both in Fleet Street. The +authoress disclaims any participation in a brace of verses which +appear on its title:-- + + '_Since each is fond of his own ugly face, + Why should you, when we hold it, break the glass?_' + Prol. to 'Sir F. Flutter.' + +The second couplet appears under an engraving of the 'Compleat Beau,' +an elaborate creation adjusting his curls with a simper, whilst a +left-handed barber bestows a finishing puff from his powder-box:-- + + '_This vain gay thing set up for man, + But see what fate attends him, + The powd'ring Barber first began, + The barber-Surgeon ends him!_' + +The paragraphs distinguished with little drawings, which we have +extracted, may give an impression that the 'defence' consists of an +attack on the male, rather than a vindication of the fair sex. The +arguments of the gentle champion are, however, temperate and sensible, +in parts; they are stated in a lively, quaint manner, and the general +quality of the book may be considered superior to the average of its +class and date. The preface, which discourses of vanity as the +mainspring of our actions, deals with the characters it is designed to +introduce in the work as with the mimic actors of a puppet-show; this +coincidence with a similar assumption in the preface to the great +novel of our century, from the pen of the gifted author who at one +time possessed this little treatise, is worthy of a passing remark. + + +PREFACE. + + [Illustration] + +'Prefaces to most books are like prolocutors to puppet-shows; they +come first to tell you what figures are to be presented, and what +tricks they are to play. According, therefore, to ancient and laudable +custom, I thought fit to let you know, by way of preface or +advertisement (call it which you please), that here are many fine +figures within to be seen, as well worth your curiosity as any in +Smithfield at Bartholomew-tide. I will not deny, reader, but that you +may have seen some of them there already; to those that have I have +little more to say, than that if they have a mind to see them again in +effigy, they may do it here. What is it you would have? Here are St. +Georges, Batemans, John Dories, Punchinelloes, and the "Creation of +the World," or what's as good, &c. The bookseller, poor man, is +desirous to please you at firsthand, and therefore has put a fine +picture in the front to invite you in.' + + +_Character of a Pedant._ + + (The Authoress alludes to scholars 'falling short' of + certain qualifications. The expression is literally + illustrated.) + + [Illustration] + +'For scholars, though by their acquaintance with books, and conversing +much with old authors, they may know perfectly the sense of the +learned dead, and be perfect masters of the wisdom, be thoroughly +informed of the state, and nicely skilled in the policies of ages long +since past, yet by their retired and inactive life, their neglect of +business, and constant conversation with antiquity, they are such +strangers to, and so ignorant of, the domestic affairs and manners of +their own country and times, that they appear like the ghosts of old +Romans raised by magic. Talk to them of the Assyrian or Persian +monarchies, the Grecian or Roman commonwealths, they answer like +oracles; they are such finished statesmen, that we should scarce take +them to have been less than confidants of Semiramis, tutors to Cyrus +the Great, old cronies of Solon and Lycurgus, or privy councillors at +least to the twelve Caesars successively. But engage them in a +discourse that concerns the present times, and their native country, +and they hardly speak the language of it, and know so little of the +affairs of it, that as much might reasonably be expected from an +animated Egyptian mummy. + +'They are much disturbed to see a fold or plait amiss in the picture +of an old Roman gown, yet take no notice that their own are +threadbare, out at the elbows, or ragged; or suffer more if Priscian's +head be broken than if it were their own. They are excellent guides, +and can direct you to every alley and turning in old Rome, yet lose +their way at home in their own parish. They are mighty admirers of the +wit and eloquence of the ancients, and yet had they lived in the time +of Cicero and Caesar, would have treated them with as much supercilious +pride and disrespect as they do now with reverence. They are great +hunters of ancient manuscripts, and have in great veneration anything +that has escaped the teeth of time and rats, and if age has +obliterated the characters 'tis the more valuable for not being +legible. But if by chance they can pick out one word, they rate it +higher than the whole author in print, and would give more for one +proverb of Solomon under his own hand, than for all his wisdom.' + + [Illustration] + + +_Extracts from the Character of a Country Gentleman._ + + [Illustration] + +Contrasting the picture of a pedant with that of a country gentleman, +the writer states these two characters are presented to show 'that men +may, and do often, baffle and frustrate the effects of a liberal +education as well by industry as negligence. For my part I think the +learned and unlearned blockhead pretty equal, for 'tis all one to me, +whether a man talk nonsense or unintelligible sense.' + +After describing the relief experienced by the country squire on his +release from the bondage of learning, the authoress continues her +sketch:-- + +'Thus accomplished and finished for a gentleman, he enters the civil +list, and holds the scales of Justice with as much blindness as she is +said to do. From henceforward his worship becomes as formidable to +the ale-houses as he was before familiar; he sizes an ale-pot, and +takes the dimensions of bread with great dexterity and sagacity. He is +the terror of all the deer and poultry stealers in the neighbourhood, +and is so implacable a persecutor of poachers that he keeps a register +of all the guns and dogs in the hundred, and is the scare-beggar of +the parish. Short pots, and unjustifiable dogs and nets, furnish him +with sufficient matter of presentments to carry him once a quarter to +the sessions, where he says little, eats and drinks much, and after +dinner, hunts over the last chase, and so rides, worshipfully drunk, +home again.' + + +_Extracts from the Character of a Scowler._ + + [Illustration] + +'These are your men of nice honour, that love fighting for the sake of +blows, and are never well but when they are wounded; they are severe +interpreters of looks, are affronted at every face that don't please +them, and like true cocks of the game, have a quarrel with all mankind +at first sight. They are passionate admirers of scarred faces, and +dote on a wooden leg. They receive a challenge like a "billet-doux," +and a home-thrust as a favour. Their common adversary is the +constable, and their usual lodging "the counter." Broken heads are a +diversion, and an arm in a scarf is a high satisfaction. They are +frugal in their expenses with the tailor, for they have their doublets +pinked on their backs; but they are as good as an annuity to the +surgeon, though they need him not to let them blood.' + + +_Extracts from the Character of a Beau._ + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'A beau is one that has more learning in his heels than his head, +which is better covered than filled. His tailor and his barber are his +cabinet council, to whom he is more beholden for what he is than to +his Maker. He is one that has travelled to see fashions, and brought +over with him the newest cut suits and the prettiest fancied ribands +for sword-knots. He should be a philosopher, for he studies nothing +but himself, yet every one knows him better that thinks him not worth +knowing. His looks and gestures are his constant lesson, and his glass +is the oracle that resolves all his mighty doubts and scruples. He +examines and refreshes his complexion by it, and is more dejected at a +pimple than if it were a cancer. When his eyes are set to a +languishing air, his motions all prepared according to art, his wig +and his coat abundantly powdered, his gloves essenced, and his +handkerchief perfumed, and all the rest of his bravery adjusted +rightly, the greatest part of the day, as well as the business of it +at home, is over; 'tis time to launch, and down he comes, scented like +a perfumer's shop, and looks like a vessel with all her rigging under +sail without ballast.' ... 'He first visits the chocolate-house, where +he admires himself in the glass, and starts a learned argument on the +newest fashions. From hence he adjourns to the play-house, where he is +to be met again in the side box, from whence he makes his court to all +the ladies in general with his eyes, and is particular only with the +orange wench. After a while he engages some neighbouring vizor, and +altogether they run over all the boxes, take to pieces every face, +examine every feature, pass their censure upon every one, and so on to +their dress; but, in conclusion, sees nobody complete, but himself, in +the whole house. After this he looks down with contempt upon the pit, +and rallies all the slovenly fellows and awkward "beaux," as he calls +them, of the other end of the town; is mightily offended at their +ill-scented snuff, and, in spite of all his "pulvilio" and essences, +is overcome with the stink of their Cordovant gloves. To close all, +Madam in the mask must give him an account of the scandal of the town, +which she does in the history of abundance of intrigues, real or +feigned, at all of which he laughs aloud and often, not to show his +satisfaction, but his teeth. His next stage is Locket's, where his +vanity, not his stomach, is to be gratified with something that is +little and dear. Quails and ortolans are the meanest of his diet, and +a spoonful of green peas at Christmas is worth more to him than the +inheritance of the field where they grow in summer. His amours are all +profound secrets, yet he makes a confidence of them to every man he +meets with. Thus the show goes forward, until he is beaten for +trespasses he was never guilty of, and shall be damned for sins he +never committed. At last, with his credit as low as his fortune, he +retires sullenly to his cloister, the King's Bench or the Fleet, and +passes the rest of his days in privacy and contemplation. Here, if you +please, we will give him one visit more, and see the last act of the +farce; and you shall find him (whose sobriety was before a vice, as +being only the pander to his other pleasures, and who feared a lighted +pipe as much as if it had been a great gun levelled at him) with his +nose flaming, and his breath stinking of spirits worse than a Dutch +tarpaulin's, and smoking out of a short pipe, that for some months has +been kept hot as constantly as a glass-house, and so I leave him to +his meditation.' + + [Illustration] + + +_Extracts from the Character of a 'Poetaster.'_ + +After commencing his education in a shop or counting-house, the +poetaster sets up as a manufacturer of verse. + +'He talks much of Jack Dryden, and Will Wycherley, and the rest of +that set, and protests he can't help having some respect for them, +because they have so much for him and his writings; otherwise he could +prove them to be mere sots and blockheads that understand little of +poetry in comparison with himself. He is the oracle of those who want +wit, and the plague of those that have it, for he haunts their +lodgings, and is more terrible to them than their duns. His pocket is +an inexhaustible magazine of rhyme and nonsense, and his tongue, like +a repeating clock with chimes, is ready upon every touch to sound +them. Men avoid him for the same reason they avoid the pillory, the +security of their ears, of which he is as merciless a prosecutor. He +is the bane to society, a friend to the stationers, the plague of the +press, and the ruin of his bookseller. He is more profitable to the +grocers and tobacconists than the paper manufacturer; for his works, +which talk so much of fire and flame, commonly expire in their shops +in vapour and smoke.' + + [Illustration] + + +_Extracts from the Character of a Virtuoso._ + + [Illustration] + +'The virtuoso is one who has sold his estate in land to purchase one +in scallop, couch, and cockle shells, and has abandoned the society of +men for that of insects, worms, grubs, lizards, tortoises, beetles, +and moths. His study is like Noah's ark, the general rendezvous of all +creatures in the universe, and the greatest part of his movables are +the remainders of the deluge. His travels are not designed as visits +to the inhabitants of any place, but to the pits, shores, and hills; +and from whence he fetches not the treasure but the trumpery. He is +ravished at finding an uncommon shell or an odd-shaped stone, and is +desperately enamoured at first sight of an unusual marked butterfly, +which he will hunt a whole day to be master of. He traffics to all +places, and has his correspondents in every part of the world. He +preserves carefully those creatures which other men industriously +destroy, and cultivates sedulously those plants which others root up +as weeds. His cash consists much in old coins, and he thinks the face +of Alexander on one of them worth more than all his conquests.' + + +_Character of a City Militiaman._ + + [Illustration] + +After describing the contests in Flanders being re-fought by the +newsmongers in the coffee-houses, the sketch proceeds:-- + +'Our greatest actions must be buffooned in show as well as talk. Shall +Namur be taken and our heroes of the city not show their prowess upon +so great an occasion? It must never be said that the coffee-houses +dared more than Moorfields. No; for the honour of London, out comes +the foreman of the shop, very formidable in buff and bandoleers, and +away he marches, with feather in cap, to the general rendezvous in the +Artillery Ground. There these terrible mimics of Mars are to spend +their fury in noise and smoke upon a Namur erected for that purpose on +a molehill, and by the help of guns and drums out-stink and out-rattle +Smithfield in all its bravery, and would be too hard for the greatest +man in all France, if they had him but amongst them. Yet this is but +skirmishing, the hot service is in another place, when they engage the +capons and quart pots; never was onset more vigorous, for they come to +handy blows immediately, and now is the real cutting and slashing, and +tilting without quarter: were the towns in Flanders all walled with +beef, and the French as good meat as capons, and dressed the same way, +the king need never beat his drums for soldiers; and all these gallant +fellows would come in voluntarily, the meanest of which would be able +to eat a marshal.' + +These descriptions of character are concluded by contrasts drawn +between the virtues and vices of the respective sexes, and the +authoress remarks that if the masses are to be measured by the +instances of either Tullia, Claudia, or Messalina, by Sardanapalus, +Nero, or Caligula, the human race will certainly be found the vilest +part of the creation. + +The essayist records that she has gained one experience by her +treatise:-- + +'I find when our hands are in 'tis as hard to stop them as our +tongues, and as difficult not to write as not to talk too much. I have +done wondering at those men that can write huge volumes upon slender +subjects, and shall hereafter admire their judgment only who can +confine their imaginations, and curb their wandering fancies.' + + [Illustration] + + +WORKS ON DEMONOLOGY AND MAGIC. + + [Illustration] + +Among the books which formed part of Thackeray's library are one or +two treating on the subject of the 'Black Arts.' The most curious and +valuable example, H. Mengo's 'Flagellum Daemonum,' appears to have been +purchased in Paris; in addition to the book-stamp usually employed by +the author of 'Vanity Fair,' there is an autograph, and the remark, 'a +very rare and curious volume,' in his own hand-writing. As the work is +seldom met with, we give the title-pages of the two volumes entire, +for the benefit of those readers who may have a taste for +'Diablerie':-- + + FLAGELLUM DAEMONUM. + + EXORCISMOS, TERRIBILES, POTENTISSIMOS, ET EFFICACES. + + REMEDIAQUE PROBATISSIMA, AC DOCTRINAM SINGULAREM IN MALIGNOS + SPIRITUS EXPELLENDOS, FACTURASQUE, ET MALESICIA FUGANDA + DE OBSESSIS CORPORIBUS COMPLECTENS, CUM SUIS BENEDICTIONIBUS, + ET OMNIBUS REQUISITIS AD + EORUM EXPULSIONEM. + + _Accessit postremo Pars Secunda, quae Fustis Daemonum inscribitur._ + + QUIBUS NOVI EXORCISMI, ET ALIA NONNULLA, QUAE PRIUS + DESIDERABANTUR, SUPER ADDITA FUERUNT + + AUCTORE R. P. F. HIERONYMO MENGO, + + VITELLIANENSI, ORDINIS MINORUM REGULARIS OBSERVANTIAE. + + ANNO 1727. + +The fly-leaf is illustrated with the following animated design in +pencil, possibly drawn from a vivid recollection existing in the +artist's mind of a similar subject, by the magic etching-needle of +that fantastic creator of demons and imaginative devices, Jacques +Callot; found in the 'Capricci,' dedicated to Lorenzo Medici. + + [Illustration] + +We are unable, in the limits of the present volume, to offer more than +a brief summary of the contents of this singular work. The first +volume (309 pages) contains three indexes, a 'dedicatoria' to 'D.D. +Lotharia a Metternich,' and a list of authors who have been consulted +in the composition of the book. + +We are inclined to believe that this list of authorities, on a subject +which presents a large field for exploration, will be of value to +investigators, and not altogether without interest to the general +reader. Their names are arranged alphabetically:-- + +Alexander Papa Sanctus. Alexander de Ales Doctor. Alphonsus +Castrensis. Ambrosius Doctor S. Athanasius Doctor S. August. de +Ancona. Bartholomaeus Sybilla. Beda Venerabilis. Bernardus Abbas S. +Bernardinus de Bustis. Boetius Severinus. Bonaventura Doctor S. +Concilia diversa. Dionysius Cartusianus. Fulgentius Doctor S. Glossa +ordinaria. Gregorius Papa Doctor Sanctus. Haymo Episcopus. Henricus +Arphius. Hieronymus Doctor S. Hilarius Doctor S. Hugo de Sancto +Victore. Joachim Abbas. Johannes Crysostomus S. Joannes Cassianus Abb. +Joann. Damascenus S. Johannes Gerson Doctor. Joannes Scotus Doctor. +Josephus de Bello Judaico. Isidorus Doctor S. Leo Papa Doctor S. +Ludovicus Blosius. Magister Sententiarum. Magister Historiarum. +Malleus Malesicarum. Michael Psellus. Nicolaus de Lira Doct. Paulus +Ghirlandus. Petrus Galatinus. Richardus Mediavilla Doctor. Rupertus +Abbas. Silvester Prierius. Thomas Aquinas Doctor Sanctus. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +Forty-five pages are devoted to 'Doctrina pulcherrima in malignos +Spiritus.' One hundred and seventy-two pages are occupied with +'Exorcismus I. ad VII.' An 'Exorcismus' consists of various 'Oratio,' +'Adjuratio,' and 'Conjuratio;' the latter, in Exor. VI., graduating +through the 'Conjuratio aeris--terrae--aquae--ignis--omnium +elementalium--Inferni--&c.' Vol. I. concludes with 'Remedia +Efficacissima in malignos spiritus,' and offers, besides Psalms proper +for the purpose, regular physicians' prescriptions--drugs and their +proportions--under the head of 'Medicina pro Maleficiatis.' + + [Illustration] + +The artist's pencil has made a humorous marginal sketch in 'Exorcismus +V.,' opposite this 'Conjuratio.' 'Conjuro te * daemon per illum, cujus +Nativitatem Angelus Mariae Virgini annunciavit, quique pro nobis +peccatoribus descendit de coelis, &c.' + +The title-page of Vol. II. we also give in full:-- + + FUSTIS DAEMONUM. + + ADJURATIONES FORMIDABILES POTENTISSIMAS, ET EFFICACES. + IN MALIGNOS SPIRITUS FUGANDOS DE OPPRESSIS + CORPORIBUS HUMANIS. + + EX SACRAE APOCALYPSIS FONTE VARIISQUE SANCTORUM PATRUM + AUCTORITATIBUS HAUSTAS COMPLECTENS. + + AUCTORE R. P. F. HIERONYMO MENGO, + VITELLIANENSI, ORDINIS MINORUM REGULARIS OBSERVANTIAE. + + _Opus sane ad maximam Exorcistarum commoditatem nunc in + lucem editum._ + + +'LA MAGIE ET L'ASTROLOGIE,' + +Par L. F. ALFRED MAURY. + +'La Magie et l'Astrologie dans l'Antiquite et au Moyen Age; ou, Etude +sur les Superstitions Paiennes qui se sont perpetuees jusqu'a nos +jours.' This work, in two parts, by the author of 'Les Premiers Ages +de la Nature' and 'Une Histoire des Religions,' gives evidence of +wide-spread research. To the curious in 'dark' literature, A. Maury's +compilation must form a vastly concise and interesting introduction to +a subject which once absorbed a large proportion of the erudition and +'fond' wisdom of our ancestors. From its high seat amidst kings and +profound sages, cabalistic art has, in this practical age, sunk so low +that its exclusive privilege may be considered the delectation and +delusion of the most forlorn ignorance. + + [Illustration] + +It is, indeed, a source of congratulation that magic and astrology in +our day rarely rise above the basement (for their modern patrons +inhabit the kitchen), unless they are admitted in the palpable form of +'parlour necromancy,' degenerating into mere manual dexterity and +common-place conjuring tricks. + +A. Maury's work traces the progress of magic from its source among +uncivilised nations, and in the earliest ages, through the history of +the Chaldeans, the Persians, the Egyptians, the Greeks, and the +Romans. He exhibits the struggle of Christianity with magic, until the +greater power overcame vain superstitions. He then follows its evil +track through the middle ages, and illustrates in the observances of +astrology, an imitation of Pagan rites. + + [Illustration] + +In the Second Part the author reviews the subject of superstitions +attaching to dreams, and defines their employment as a means of +divination, from the earliest records down to a recent period. He then +describes the demoniac origin, once attributed to mental and nervous +derangements, and elucidates the assistance contributed by the +imagination to the deceptions of so-called magic. He concludes by +considering the production of mental phenomena by the use of +narcotics, the destruction of reason and of the intellectual +faculties, and closes his summary by treating of hypnotism and +somnambulism. + +In the chapter describing the influence of magic on the teachings of +the Neoplatonic school of philosophy, we find the arguments advanced +in the paragraphs we extract, wittily and practically embodied in a +little sketch of an antique divinity, introduced with modern +attributes. + + [Illustration] + +'... The new school of Plato imagined a complete hierarchy of demons, +with which they combined a portion of the divinities of the ancient +Greek religion, reconstructed in a newer and more philosophical +spirit. + +'In the doctrines expounded by the author of the "Mysteres des +Egyptiens," who had borrowed most of his ideas from the Egyptian +theology, demons are represented as veritable divinities, who divide +the government of the world with the deities. + +'The inconsistent chronological confusion which prevailed at that +period frequently offers similar contradictions; for the doctrines of +antiquity, while taking their position in the new philosophy, had not +been submitted to the modifications necessary to bring them into +harmony with the later system. + +'... The severity directed by Church and State against magicians and +sorcerers was not solely inspired by the terrors of demons or a dread +of witchcraft. + +'... Although there existed in the rites of magic many foolish +ceremonials that were harmless and inoffensive, the perpetuation of +the observances of the ancient Polytheism were, however, employed as a +veil, beneath which existed practices that were absolutely criminal, +stamped with the most atrocious and sanguinary superstitions. The +preparation of poisons played a considerable part in these +observances, and witchcraft was not entirely confined to mere +influences on the mind. Those who connected themselves with sorcery +most frequently employed it with a view of gratifying either personal +vengeance or culpable covetousness.' + +In the chapter on '_Possession Demoniaque_,' devoted to the demoniacal +origin attributed to nervous and mental afflictions, we find a quaint +pencil-heading which precedes the extracts we have made, to explain +the matter it illustrates. + + [Illustration] + +'... The ancients no more succeeded in mastering the natural character +and physical origin of disease than they were able to recognise the +constancy of the phenomena of the universe. + +'All descriptions of sickness, especially epidemics and mental or +nervous affections, were particularly reputed of supernatural agency; +the first on account of their unexpected approaches, and their +contagious and deadly effects; the second on the grounds of their +mysterious origin, and the profound affections they bring either to +the mind, the muscular system, or the sensations. + +'When an epidemic broke out they immediately concluded that a divinity +was abroad, sent forth to execute vengeance or to inflict just +corrections. They then employed their faculties in searching for a +motive that might have provoked his anger, and they strove to appease +his wrath by sacrifices; or they sought to avert the effects of evil +by ceremonies, by purifications, and exorcisms. + + [Illustration] + +'Their legends record that the deities of evil have been seen riding +through the air, scattering death and desolation far and wide. + + [Illustration] + +'... A passage in Minutius Felix (Octav. c. 29, which confirms Saint +Cyprien ad Demetrian. p. 501, et Lactance, Inst. Div. Il. xv.; cf. +Kopp, "Palaeographia Critica," t. iii. p. 75) informs us that in order +to constrain the demon to declare, through the mouth of the person +supposed to be thus possessed, that he was driven out, recourse was +had to blows, and to the employment of barbarous methods. This will at +once explain the apparent successes of certain exorcists, and the +ready compliance with which the devils responded to their +conjurations. The signs by which the departure of the evil spirit were +recognised were naturally very varied. Pious legends make frequent +mention of demons that have been expelled, and have been seen to +proceed, with terrible cries, from the mouths of those so possessed.' + + [Illustration] + +The two priestly figures, which are found at the commencement of this +short _resume_ of Alfred Maury's work, might be readily assumed to +embody the characteristics of magic and astrology. They are drawn on a +fly-leaf in the original, and on the corresponding leaf at the end is +pencilled the richly quaint conception, which appropriately concludes +the summary of contents. + + +MAGIC, WITCHCRAFT, ANIMAL MAGNETISM, HYPNOTISM, AND ELECTRO BIOLOGY. + +By JAMES BRAID. 1852. + +Amicus Plato, amicus Socrates, sed magis amica Veritas. + +Mr. Braid has selected a neat motto for his treatise, for the matter +contained in it will hardly warrant the assumption of a more ambitious +title. + + [Illustration] + +Mr. Braid, of Burlington House, Manchester, a doctor by profession, is +a believer in and exponent of hypnotism. A great portion of his little +work reviews the criticisms on earlier editions, or deals with +statements regarding Colquhoun's 'History of Magic.' Its author, while +rejecting the doctrines known as animal mesmerism and magnetism, +admits the effects they are declared to produce; but he refers such +results to hypnotism--a state of induced sleep--into which a patient +may be thrown by artificial contrivance. + +It is possible that the contents of this book would not prove of much +general interest excepting to amateurs of 'animal magnetism;' but we +give one extract, which may prove of service to those who do not +happen to be already informed of the theory it advances, which is one +that every reader can practically test:-- + +'In my work on hypnotism,' observes Mr. Braid, 'published in 1843, I +explained how "tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep," might be +procured, in many instances, through a most simple device, by the +patient himself. All that is required for this purpose is simply to +place himself in a comfortable posture in bed, and then to close the +eyelids, and turn up the eyeballs gently, as if looking at a distant +object, such as an imaginary star, situated somewhat above and behind +the forehead, giving the whole concentrated attention of the mind to +the idea of maintaining a steady view of the star, and breathing +softly, as if in profound attention, the mind at the same time +yielding to the idea that sleep will ensue, and to the tendency to +somnolence which will creep upon him whilst engaged in this act of +fixed attention. Mr. Walker's method of "procuring sleep at will," by +desiring the patient to maintain a fixed act of attention by imagining +himself watching his breath issuing slowly from his nostrils, after +having placed his body in a comfortable position in bed, which was +first published by Dr. Binns, is essentially the same as my own +method, &c.' + + [Illustration] + +Professor Gregory, in his 'Letters to a Candid Inquirer,' after +describing the induction of sleep effected by reading a class of books +of a dry character, remarks: 'But let these persons (sufferers from a +difficulty in getting off to sleep) try the experiment of placing a +small bright object, seen by the reflection of a safe and distant +light, in such a position that the eyes are strained a little upwards +or backwards, and at such a distance as to give a tendency to +squinting, and they will probably never again have recourse to the +venerable authors above alluded to. Sir David Brewster, who, with more +than youthful ardour, never fails to investigate any curious fact +connected with the eye, has not only seen Mr. Braid operate, but has +also himself often adopted this method of inducing sleep, and compares +it to the feeling we have when, after severe and long-continued bodily +exertion, we sit or lie down and fall asleep, being overcome, in a +most agreeable manner, by the solicitations of Morpheus, to which, at +such times, we have a positive pleasure in yielding, however +inappropriate the scene of our slumbers.' + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +Among the contents are numerous instances of magnetism, and anecdotes +of experiments, which have been amusingly 'hit off' in little marginal +sketches. One of the best of these is an illustration of the +contagious dancing mania said to be excited by the bite of the +tarantula spider--'against the effect of which neither youth nor age +afforded any protection, so that old men of ninety threw away their +crutches,' and the very sight of those so affected was equally potent. +These sketches are, however, so small that we think it advisable to +exclude them from our selection. The pantomimic mesmerism produced by +the harlequin's magic wand, and practically seconded by the sly slaps +of the clown, are happily given on the fly-leaf of the treatise; and a +vastly original and startling result of animal magnetism records on +the last page the droller impressions of the artist-reader on the +subject, through the medium of his pencil. + + [Illustration: Carried away under the influence of spirits] + +FOOTNOTE: + +[12] Dr. Earle was formerly Bishop of Worcester, from which see he was +translated to that of Sarum in 1663; he died at Oxford in 1665. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +ENGLISH ESSAYISTS OF THE GEORGIAN ERA. + + Early Essayists whose Writings have furnished Thackeray with the + Accessories of Portions of his Novels and Lectures -- Works from + the Novelist's Library, elucidating his Course of Reading for the + Preparation of his 'Lectures' -- 'Henry Esmond,' 'The + Virginians,' &c. -- Characteristic Passages from the Lucubrations + of the Essayists of the Augustan Era illustrated with original + marginal Sketches, suggested by the Text, by Thackeray's Hand -- + The 'Tatler' -- Its History and Influence -- Reforms introduced + by the purer Style of the Essayists -- The Literature of Queen + Anne's Reign -- Thackeray's Love for the Writings of that Period + -- His Gift of reproducing their masterly and simple Style of + Composition; their Irony, and playful Humour -- Extracts from + notable Essays; illustrated with original Pencillings from the + Series of the 'Tatler,' 1709. + + +The commencement of the eighteenth century has been christened the +Augustan Era of English literature, from the brilliant assembly of +writers, pre-eminent for their wit, genius, and cultivation, who then +enriched our literature with a perfectly original school of humour. + + [Illustration] + +The essayists, to whose accomplished parts we are indebted for the +'Tatlers,' 'Spectators,' 'Guardians,' 'Humorists,' 'Worlds,' +'Connoisseurs,' 'Mirrors,' 'Adventurers,' 'Observers,' 'Loungers,' +'Lookers-on,' 'Ramblers,' and kindred papers, which picture the +many-coloured scenes of our society and literature, have conferred a +lasting benefit upon posterity by the sterling merit of their +writings. It has been justly said that these essays, by their +intrinsic worth, have outlived many revolutions of taste, and have +attained unrivalled popularity and classic fame, while multitudes of +their contemporaries, successors, and imitators have perished with the +accidents or caprices of fashion. + +The general purpose of the essayists as laid down by Steele, who may +be considered foremost among the originators of the familiar school of +writing, 'was to expose the false arts of life, to pull off the +disguises of cunning, vanity, and affectation, and to recommend a +general simplicity in our dress, our discourse, and our behaviour.' +Bickerstaff's lucubrations were directed to good-humoured exposures of +those freaks and vagaries of life, 'too trivial for the chastisement +of the law and too fantastical for the cognisance of the pulpit,' of +those failings, according to Addison's summary of their purpose in the +'Spectator' (No. 34), thus harmonised by Pope:-- + + Safe from the bar, the pulpit, and the throne, + Yet touched and shamed by Ridicule alone. + +The graceful philosophers, polished wits and playful satirists exerted +their abilities to supply 'those temporary demands and casual +exigencies, overlooked by graver writers and more bulky theorists,' to +bring, in the language of Addison, 'philosophy out of closets and +libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at +tea-tables and in coffee-houses.' + +'The method of conveying cheap and easy knowledge began among us in +the civil wars, when it was much the interest of either party to raise +and fix the prejudices of the people.' It was in this spirit that the +oft-mentioned Mercuries, 'Mercurius Aulicus,' 'Mercurius Rusticus,' +and 'Mercurius Civicus' first appeared. + +A hint of the original plan of the 'Tatler' may in some degree be +traced to Defoe's 'Review; consisting of a Scandal Club, on Questions +of Theology, Morals, Politics, Trade, Language, Poetry, &c.,' +published about the year 1703. + +'The "Tatler,"' writes Dr. Chalmers, 'like many other ancient +superstructures, rose from small beginnings. It does not appear that +the author (Steele) foresaw to what perfection this method of writing +could be brought. By dividing each paper into compartments, he appears +to have consulted the ease with which an author may say a little upon +many subjects, who has neither leisure nor inclination to enter deeply +on a single topic. This, however, did not proceed either from distrust +in his abilities, or in the favour of the public; for he at once +addressed them with confidence and familiarity; but it is probable +that he did not foresee to what perfection the continued practice of +writing will frequently lead a man whose natural endowments are wit +and eloquence, superadded to a knowledge of the world, and a habit of +observation.' + +The first number of the 'Tatler' bore the motto, + + Quicquid agunt homines-- + nostri est farrago libelli.--Juv. Sat. I. 85, 86. + + Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream, + Our motley paper seizes for its theme. + +The original sheet appeared on Tuesday, April 12, 1709,[13] and the +days of its publication were fixed to be Tuesdays, Thursdays, and +Saturdays. 'In the selection of a name for the work, Steele affords an +early instance of delicate raillery, by informing us that the name +"Tatler" was invented in _honour_ of the fair sex; and that in such a +character he might indulge with impunity the desultory plan he first +laid down, with a becoming imitation of the tattle and gossip of the +day.' The first four numbers were given gratis, the price was then +fixed at a penny, which was afterwards doubled. + +Steele, whose humour was most happily adapted to his task, assumed as +censor of manners the alias of Isaac Bickerstaff. 'Throughout the +whole work,' writes Beattie, 'the conjuror, the politician, the man of +humour, the critic; the seriousness of the moralist, and the mock +dignity of the astrologer; the vivacities and infirmities peculiar to +old age, are all so blended and contrasted in the censor of Great +Britain as to form a character equally complex and natural, equally +laughable and respectable,' and as the editor declares, in his proper +person, 'the attacks upon prevailing and fashionable vices had been +carried forward by Mr. Bickerstaff with a freedom of spirit that would +have lost its attraction and efficacy, had it been pretended to by +_Mr. Steele_.' + +A scarce pamphlet, attributed to Gay, draws attention to the high +moral and philosophic purpose which was entertained originally. 'There +was this difference between Steele and all the rest of the polite and +gallant authors of the time: the latter endeavoured to please the age +by falling in with them, and encouraging them in their fashionable +vices and false notions of things. It would have been a jest some time +since for a man to have asserted that anything witty could have been +said in praise of a married state; or that devotion and virtue were +any way necessary to the character of a fine gentleman. Bickerstaff +ventured to tell the town that they were a parcel of fops, fools, and +vain coquettes; but in such a manner as even pleased them, and made +them more than half inclined to believe that he spoke truth.' + +The humorists of the Augustan era were, as the world knows, peculiar +objects of regard to the great writer of 'Roundabout Essays' in the +age of Queen Victoria. Novels, lectures, and reviews alike prove the +industry and affection with which Thackeray conducted his researches +amidst the veins of singular richness and congenial material opened to +him by the lives and writings of these famous essayists, in such +profusion that selection became a point of real art. + +It is not difficult to trace the results of Thackeray's reading among +his favourite writers, or to watch its influence on his own +compositions. Nor did his regard for these sources of inspiration pass +the bounds of reasonable admiration; he argues convincingly of the +authentic importance of his chosen authorities. + +From his minute and intelligent studies of the works of these genial +humorists Thackeray acquired a remarkable facility of thinking, +spontaneously acknowledged by all his contemporaries, with the +felicitous aptitude of the originals, and learned to express his +conceptions in language simple, lucid, and sparkling as the +outpourings from those pure fonts for which his eagerness may be said +to have been unquenched to the end of his career. + +That artist-like local colouring which gives such scholarly value to +'Henry Esmond,' to the 'Virginians,' to the 'Humorists of the +Eighteenth Century,' and which was no less manifest in the work which +engaged his thoughts when Death lightly touched the novelist's hand, +furnishes the evidence of Thackeray's familiarity with, and command +of, the quaintest, wittiest, wisest, and pleasantest writings in our +language. + +It will be felt by readers who realise Thackeray in his familiar +association with the kindred early humorists, that the merry passages +his pencil has italicised by droll marginal sketches are, with all +their suggestive slightness, in no degree unworthy of the conceits to +which they give a new interest; while in some cases, with playful +whimsicality, they present a reading entirely novel. The fidelity of +costume and appointments, even in this miniature state, confirms the +diligence and thought with which the author of 'Henry Esmond' pursued +every detail which illustrated his cherished period, and which might +serve as a basis for its consistent reconstruction, to carry his +reader far back up the stream of time. + +The necessity of compressing within the limits of this volume our +selections from the comparatively exhaustless field of the humorous +essayists, necessarily renders the paragraphs elucidated by +Thackeray's quaint etchings somewhat fragmentary and abrupt, while the +miscellaneous nature of the topics thus indiscriminately touched on +may be best set forth according to the advertisement with which Swift +ushered in his memorable 'Number One': + +'All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment shall be under +the article of _White's Chocolate-house_;[14] poetry, under that of +_Will's Coffee-house_;[15] learning, under the title of _Grecian_;[16] +foreign and domestic news, you will have from _Saint James's +Coffee-house_; and what else I have to offer on any other subject +shall be dated from my own apartment.[17] + +'I once more desire my reader to consider, that as I cannot keep an +ingenious man to go daily to Will's under twopence each day, merely +for his charges; to White's, under sixpence; nor to the Grecian, +without allowing him some plain Spanish, to be as able as others at +the learned table; and that a good observer cannot speak with even +Kidney (the waiter) at St. James's without clean linen; I say, these +considerations will, I hope, make all persons willing to comply with +my humble request (when my _gratis_ stock is exhausted) of a penny +apiece; especially since they are sure of some proper amusement, and +that it is impossible for me to want means to entertain them, having, +besides the force of my own parts, the power of divination, and that I +can, by casting a figure, tell you all that may happen before it comes +to pass.' + + +No. 5. THE 'TATLER.'--_April 21, 1709_. + + Who names that lost thing love without a tear, + Since so debauch'd by ill-bred customs here? + To an exact perfection they have brought + The action love, the passion is forgot. + +'This was long ago a witty author's lamentation, but the evil still +continues; and if a man of any delicacy were to attend the discourses +of the young fellows of this age, he would believe there were none but +the fallen to make the objects of passion. So true it is what the +author of the above verses said, a little before his death, of the +modern pretenders to gallantry: "They set up for wits in this age, by +saying, when they are sober, what they of the last spoke only when +they were drunk." But Cupid is not only blind at present, but dead +drunk; and he has lost all his faculties; else how should Celia be so +long a maid, with that agreeable behaviour? Corinna, with that +sprightly wit? Serbia, with that heavenly voice? and Sacharissa, with +all those excellences in one person, frequent the park, the play, and +murder the poor Tits that drag her to public places, and not a man +turn pale at her appearance? But such is the fallen state of love, +that if it were not for honest Cynthio, who is true to the cause, we +should hardly have a pattern left of the ancient worthies in that way; +and indeed he has but very little encouragement to persevere. Though +Cynthio has wit, good sense, fortune, and his very being depends upon +her, the termagant for whom he sighs is in love with a fellow who +stares in the glass all the time he is with her, and lets her plainly +see she may possibly be his rival, but never his mistress. Yet Cynthio +pleases himself with a vain imagination that, with the language of his +eyes, now he has found out who she is, he shall conquer her, though +her eyes are intent upon one who looks from her, which is ordinary +with the sex. + +'It is certainly a mistake in the ancients to draw the little +gentleman Love as a blind boy, for his real character is a little +thief that squints; for ask Mrs. Meddle, who is a confidante or spy +upon all the passions in town, and she will tell you that the whole is +a game of cross purposes. The lover is generally pursuing one who is +in pursuit of another, and running from one that desires to meet him. +Nay, the nature of this passion is so justly represented in a +squinting little thief (who is always in a double action), that do but +observe Clarissa next time you see her, and you will find, when her +eyes have made their soft tour round the company she makes no stay on +him they say she is to marry, but rests two seconds of a minute on +Wildair, who neither looks nor thinks on her or any woman else. +However, Cynthio had a bow from her the other day, upon which he is +very much come to himself; and I heard him send his man of an errand +yesterday, without any manner of hesitation; a quarter of an hour +after which he reckoned twenty, remembered he was to sup with a +friend, and went exactly to his appointment. I sent to know how he did +this morning, and I find he hath not forgotten that he spoke to me +yesterday.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 9. THE 'TATLER.'--_April 30, 1709_. + +Pastorella, a lively young lady of eighteen, was under the charge of +an aunt, who was anxious to keep her ward in safety, if possible, from +herself and her admirers. 'At the same time the good lady knew, by +long experience, that a gay inclination curbed too rashly would but +run to the greater excesses; she therefore made use of an ingenious +expedient to avoid the anguish of an admonition. You are to know, +then, that Miss, with all her flirting and ogling, had also a strong +curiosity in her, and was the greatest eaves-dropper breathing. +Parisatis (for so her prudent aunt is called) observed this humour, +and retires one day to her closet, into which she knew Pastorella +would peep and listen to know how she was employed. It happened +accordingly; and the young lady saw her good governante on her knees, +and, after a _mental behaviour_, break into these words: "As for the +dear child committed to my care, let her sobriety of carriage and +severity of behaviour be such as may make that noble lord, who is +taken with her beauty, turn his designs to such as are honourable." +Here Parisatis heard her niece nestle closer to the key-hole. She then +goes on: "Make her the joyful mother of a numerous and wealthy +offspring; and let her carriage be such as may make this noble youth +expect the blessings of a happy marriage, from the singularity of her +life, in this loose and censorious age." Miss, having heard enough, +sneaks off for fear of discovery, and immediately at her glass, alters +the setting of her head; then pulls up her tucker, and forms herself +into the exact manner of Lindamira; in a word, becomes a sincere +convert to everything that is commendable in a fine young lady; and +two or three such matches as her aunt feigned in her devotions are at +this day in her choice. This is the history and original cause of +Pastorella's conversion from coquetry. + + [Illustration] + +'I scarce remember a greater instance of forbearance in the usual +peevish way with which the aged treat the young than this, except that +of our famous Noy, whose good nature went so far as to make him put +off his admonitions to his son even until after his death; and did not +give him his thoughts of him until he came to read that memorable +passage in his will: "All the rest of my estate," says he, "I leave to +my son Edward, to be squandered as he shall think fit; I leave it him +for that purpose, and hope no better from him." A generous disdain, +and reflection how little he deserved from so excellent a father, +reformed the young man, and made Edward, from an arrant rake, become a +fine gentleman.' + + +No. 23. THE 'TATLER.'--_June 2, 1709_. + +The 'Tatler' relates the instance of a lady who had governed one +husband by falling into fits when he opposed her will. Death released +this gentleman, and the lady consoled herself quickly with a very +agreeable successor, whom she determined to manage by the same method. +'This man knew her little arts, and resolved to break through all +tenderness, and be absolute master as soon as occasion offered. One +day it happened that a discourse arose about furniture; he was very +glad of the occasion, and fell into an invective against china, +protesting that he would never let five pounds more of his money be +laid out that way as long as he breathed. She immediately fainted--he +starts up, as amazed, and calls for help--the maids run up to the +closet. He chafes her face, bends her forward, and beats the palms of +her hands; her convulsions increase, and down she tumbles on the +floor, where she lies quite dead, in spite of what the whole family, +from the nursery to the kitchen, could do for her relief. The kind man +doubles his care, helps the servants to throw water into her face by +full quarts; and when the sinking part of the fit came again, "Well, +my dear," says he, "I applaud your action; but none of your artifices; +you are quite in other hands than those you passed these pretty +passions upon. I must take leave of you until you are more sincere +with me: farewell for ever." He was scarce at the stair-head when she +followed, and thanked him for her cure, which was so absolute that she +gave me this relation herself, to be communicated for the benefit of +all the voluntary invalids of her sex.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 24. THE 'TATLER.'--_June 4, 1709_. + +The 'Tatler' is discoursing of 'pretty fellows,' and 'very pretty +fellows,' and enlarging on the qualifications essential to fit them +for the characters. + +'Give me leave, then, to mention three, whom I do not doubt but we +shall see make considerable figures; and these are such as for their +Bacchanalian performances must be admitted into this order. They are +three brothers, lately landed from Holland; as yet, indeed, they have +not made their public entry, but lodge and converse at Wapping. They +have merited already, on the waterside, particular titles: the first +is called Hogshead; the second, Culverin; and the third, Musquet. This +fraternity is preparing for our end of the town, by their ability in +the exercises of Bacchus, and measure their time and merit by liquid +weight and power of drinking. Hogshead is a prettier fellow than +Culverin, by two quarts; and Culverin than Musquet, by a full pint. It +is to be feared Hogshead is so often too full, and Culverin +overloaded, that Musquet will be the only lasting very pretty fellow +of the three.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 28. THE 'TATLER.'--_June 14, 1709._ + +'_To the "Tatler."_--Sir,--I desire the favour of you to decide this +question, whether calling a gentleman a smart fellow is an affront or +not? A youth, entering a certain coffee-house, with his cane tied to +his button, wearing red-heeled shoes, I thought of your description, +and could not forbear telling a friend of mine next to me, "There +enters a smart fellow." The gentleman hearing it, had immediately a +mind to pick a quarrel with me, and desired satisfaction; at which I +was more puzzled than at the other, remembering what mention your +familiar makes of those that had lost their lives on such occasions. +The thing is referred to your judgment; and I expect you to be my +second, since you have been the cause of our quarrel.--I am, Sir, &c.' + + [Illustration] + +'Now what possible insinuation can there be, that it is a cause of +quarrel for a man to say he allows a gentleman really to be what his +tailor, his hosier, and his milliner have conspired to make him? I +confess, if this person who appeals to me had said he was "not a smart +fellow," there had been cause for resentment.' + + +No. 34. THE 'TATLER.'--_June 28, 1709._ + +Mr. Bickerstaff has been working certain wonderful effects by +prescribing his _circumspection-water_, which has cured Mrs. Spy of +rolling her eyes about in public places. Lady Petulant had made use of +it to cure her husband's jealousy, and Lady Gad has cured a whole +neighbourhood of detraction. + +'The fame of these things,' continues the Censor-General, 'added to my +being an old fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair sex. +You would hardly believe me when I tell you there is not a man in town +so much their delight as myself. They make no more of visiting me than +going to Madam Depingle's; there were two of them, namely, Dainia and +Clidamira (I assure you women of distinction), who came to see me this +morning, in their way to prayers; and being in a very diverting humour +(as innocence always makes people cheerful), they would needs have me, +according to the distinction of pretty and very pretty fellows, inform +them if I thought either of them had a title to the very pretty among +those of their own sex; and if I did, which was the most deserving of +the two? + +'To put them to the trial, "Look ye," said I, "I must not rashly give +my judgment in matters of this importance; pray let me see you dance; +I play upon the kit." They immediately fell back to the lower end of +the room (you may be sure they curtsied low enough to me), and began. +Never were two in the world so equally matched, and both scholars to +my namesake Isaac.[18] Never was man in so dangerous a condition as +myself, when they began to expand their charms. "Oh! ladies, ladies," +cried I; "not half that air; you will fire the house!" Both smiled, +for, by-the-bye, there is no carrying a metaphor too far when a lady's +charms are spoken of. Somebody, I think, has called a fine woman +dancing "a brandished torch of beauty." These rivals move with such +an agreeable freedom that you would believe their gesture was the +necessary effect of the music, and not the product of skill and +practice. Now Clidamira came on with a crowd of graces, and demanded +my judgment with so sweet an air--and she had no sooner carried it, +but Dainia made her utterly forgot, by a gentle sinking and a rigadoon +step. The contest held a full half hour; and, I protest, I saw no +manner of difference in their perfections until they came up together +and expected sentence. "Look ye, ladies," said I, "I see no difference +in the least in your performances; but you, Clidamira, seem to be so +well satisfied that I should determine for you, that I must give it to +Dainia, who stands with so much diffidence and fear, after showing an +equal merit to what she pretends to. Therefore, Clidamira, you are a +pretty, but, Dainia, you are a very pretty lady; for," said I, "beauty +loses its force if not accompanied with modesty. She that hath an +humble opinion of herself, will have everybody's applause, because she +does not expect it; while the vain creature loses approbation through +too great a sense of deserving it."' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 36. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 2, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' inserts a letter on termagant wives and sporting +tastes:-- + + 'Epsom, June 28. + +'It is now almost three weeks since what you writ about happened in +this place. The quarrel between my friends did not run so high as I +find your accounts have made it. You are to understand that the +persons concerned in this scene were Lady Autumn and Lady Springly. +Autumn is a person of good breeding, formality, and a singular way +practised in the last age; and Lady Springly, a modern impertinent of +our sex, who affects as improper a familiarity as the other does +distance. These heroines have married two brothers, both knights. +Springly is the spouse of the elder, who is a baronet, and Autumn, +being a rich widow, has taken the younger, and her purse endowed him +with an equal fortune, and knighthood of the same order. This jumble +of titles, you need not doubt, has been an aching torment to Autumn, +who took place of the other on no pretence but her carelessness and +disregard of distinction. The secret occasion of envy broiled long in +the breast of Autumn; but no opportunity of contention on that subject +happening, kept all things quiet until the accident of which you +demand an account. + +'It was given out among all the gay people of this place, that on the +ninth instant several damsels, swift of foot, were to run for a suit +of head-cloaths at the Old Wells. Lady Autumn, on this occasion, +invited Springly to go with her in her coach to see the race. When +they came to the place, where the Governor of Epsom and all his court +of citizens were assembled, as well as a crowd of people of all +orders, a brisk young fellow addressed himself to the younger of the +ladies, viz. Springly, and offers her his services to conduct her into +the music-room. Springly accepts the compliment, and is led +triumphantly through a bowing crowd, while Autumn is left among the +rabble, and has much ado to get back into her coach; but she did it at +last, and as it is usual to see, by the horses, my lady's present +disposition, she orders John to whip furiously home to her husband; +where, when she enters, down she sits, began to unpin her hood, and +lament her foolish fond heart to marry into a family where she was so +little regarded. Lady Springly, an hour or two after, returns from the +Wells, and finds the whole company together. Down she sat, and a +profound silence ensued. You know a premeditated quarrel usually +begins and works up with the words _some people_. The silence was +broken by Lady Autumn, who began to say, "There are some people who +fancy, that if some people"--Springly immediately takes her up, "There +are some people who fancy, if other people"--Autumn repartees, "People +may give themselves airs; but other people, perhaps, who make less +ado, may be, perhaps, as agreeable as people who set themselves out +more." All the other people at the table sat mute, while these two +people, who were quarrelling, went on with the use of the word +_people_, instancing the very accidents between them, as if they kept +only in distant hints. Therefore, says Autumn, reddening, "There are +some people will go abroad in other people's coaches, and leave those +with whom they went to shift for themselves; and if, perhaps, those +people have married the younger brother, yet, perhaps, he may be +beholden to those people for what he is." Springly smartly answers, +"People may bring so much ill humour into a family, as people may +repent their receiving their money," and goes on--"Everybody is not +considerable enough to give her uneasiness." + + [Illustration] + +'Upon this Autumn comes up to her, and desired her to kiss her, and +never to see her again; which her sister refusing, my lady gave her a +box on the ear. Springly returns, "Ay, ay," said she, "I knew well +enough you meant me by your some people;" and gives her another on the +other side. To it they went, with most masculine fury; each husband +ran in. The wives immediately fell upon their husbands, and tore +periwigs and cravats. The company interposed; when (according to the +slip-knot of matrimony, which makes them return to one another when +anyone puts in between) the ladies and their husbands fell upon all +the rest of the company; and, having beat all their friends and +relations out of the house, came to themselves time enough to know +there was no bearing the jest of the place after these adventures, and +therefore marched off the next day. It is said, the governor has sent +several joints of mutton, and has proposed divers dishes, very +exquisitely dressed, to bring them down again. From his address and +knowledge in roast and boiled, all our hopes of the return of this +good company depend. + + 'I am, dear Jenny, + 'Your ready friend and servant, + 'MARTHA TATLER.' + + +No. 37. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 5, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' is discoursing of country squires, with fox-hunting +tastes, and how in their rough music of the field they outdo the best +Italian singers for noise and volume. One of these worthies is +described on a visit in genteel society in town. 'Mr. Bellfrey being +at a visit where I was, viz. at his cousin's (Lady Dainty's), in Soho +Square, was asked what entertainments they had in the country. Now, +Bellfrey is very ignorant, and much a clown; but confident withal: in +a word, he struck up a fox-chase; Lady Dainty's dog, Mr. Sippet, as +she calls him, started, jumped out of his lady's lap, and fell a +barking. Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbouring parishes +into the square. Never was woman in such confusion as that delicate +lady; but there was no stopping her kinsman. A roomful of ladies fell +into the most violent laughter; my lady looked as if she was +shrieking; Mr. Sippet, in the middle of the room, breaking his heart +with barking, but all of us unheard. As soon as Bellfrey became +silent, up gets my lady, and takes him by the arm, to lead him off. +Bellfrey was in his boots. As she was hurrying him away, his spurs +take hold of her petticoat; his whip throws down a cabinet of china: +he cries, "What! are your crocks rotten? are your petticoats ragged? A +man cannot walk in your house for trincums."' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 38. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 7, 1709._ + +The practice of duelling had been early discountenanced by the +'Tatler.' An altercation after a stock-broking transaction was settled +in the fashion thus reported in its pages:-- + +'... However, having sold the bear, and words arising about the +delivery, the most noble major, according to method, abused the other +with the titles of rogue, villain, bear-skin man, and the like. +Whereupon satisfaction was demanded and accepted, and forth they +marched to a most spacious room in the sheriff's house, where, having +due regard to what you have lately published, yet not willing to put +up with affronts without satisfaction, they stripped and in decent +manner fought full fairly with their wrathful hands. The combat lasted +a quarter of an hour; in which time victory was often doubtful, until +the major, finding his adversary obstinate, unwilling to give him +further chastisement, with most shrill voice cried out, "I am +satisfied! enough!" whereupon the combat ceased, and both were friends +immediately.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 41. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 14, 1709._ + +A battle fought in the very streets of London by the Volunteers of +1709, from their head-quarters, the Artillery Ground, Moorgate, is +thus described by one of the Grub Street auxiliaries:-- + + [Illustration] + +'Indeed, I am extremely concerned for the lieutenant-general, who by +his overthrow and defeat is made a deplorable instance of the fortune +of war, and the vicissitudes of human affairs. He, alas! has lost in +Beech Lane and Chiswell Street all the glory he lately gained in and +about Holborn and St. Giles's. The art of sub-dividing first and +dividing afterwards is new and surprising; and according to this +method the troops are disposed in King's Head Court and Red Lion +Market, nor is the conduct of these leaders less conspicuous in the +choice of the ground or field of battle. Happy was it that the +greatest part of the achievements of this day was to be performed near +Grub Street, that there might not be wanting a sufficient number of +faithful historians who, being eye-witnesses of these wonders, should +impartially transmit them to posterity! but then it can never be +enough regretted that we are left in the dark as to the name and title +of that extraordinary hero who commanded the divisions in Paul's +Alley; especially because those divisions are justly styled brave, and +accordingly were to push the enemy along Bunhill Row, and thereby +occasion a general battle. But Pallas appeared, in the form of a +shower of rain, and prevented the slaughter and desolation which were +threatened by these extraordinary preparations.' + + +No. 45. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 23, 1709._ + +Mr. Bickerstaff, having paid a visit to Oxford, has spent the evening +with some merry wits, and, after his custom, he relates the adventures +of the evening to furnish a paper for the 'Tatler':-- + + [Illustration] + +'I am got hither safe, but never spent time with so little +satisfaction as this evening; for, you must know, I was five hours +with three merry and two honest fellows. The former sang catches and +the latter even died with laughing at the noise they made. "Well," +says Tom Bellfrey, "you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst +company in the world." "Ay," says his opposite, "you are dull +to-night; prythee, be merry." With that I huzzaed, and took a jump +across the table, then came clever upon my legs, and fell a laughing. +"Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone," says one of the honest fellows; "when he +is in a good humour, he is as good company as any man in England." He +had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat off his head, and clapped +it upon my own, and burst out a laughing again; upon which we all fell +a laughing for half an hour. One of the honest fellows got behind me +in the interim and hit me a sound slap on the back; upon which he got +the laugh out of my hands; and it was such a twang on my shoulders, +that I confess he was much merrier than I. I was half angry, but +resolved to keep up the good humour of the company; and after +hallooing as loud as I could possibly, I drank off a bumper of claret +that made me stare again. "Nay," says one of the honest fellows, "Mr. +Isaac is in the right; there is no conversation in this: what +signifies jumping or hitting one another on the back? let us drink +about." We did so from seven of the clock until eleven; and now I am +come hither, and, after the manner of the wise Pythagoras, began to +reflect upon the passages of the day. I remember nothing but that I am +bruised to death; and as it is my way to write down all the good +things I have heard in the last conversation, to furnish my paper, I +can from this only tell you my sufferings and my bangs.' + + +No. 46. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 26, 1709._ + +Aurengezebe, a modern Eastern potentate, is described as amusing his +later years by playing the grand Turk to the Sultanas of Little +Britain. + +'There is,' proceeds the account, 'a street near Covent Garden known +by the name of Drury, which, before the days of Christianity, was +purchased by the Queen of Paphos, and is the only part of Great +Britain where the tenure of vassalage is still in being.... This +seraglio is disposed into convenient alleys and apartments, and every +house, from the cellar to the garret, inhabited by nymphs of different +orders. + +'Here it is that, when Aurengezebe thinks fit to give loose to +dalliance, the purveyors prepare the entertainment; and what makes it +more august is, that every person concerned in the interlude has his +set part, and the prince sends beforehand word what he designs to say, +and directs also the very answer which shall be made to him. + + [Illustration] + +'The entertainment is introduced by the matron of the temple; whereon +an unhappy nymph, who is to be supposed just escaped from the hands of +a ravisher, with her tresses dishevelled, runs into the room with a +dagger in her hand, and falls before the emperor. + +'"Pity, oh! pity, whoever thou art, an unhappy virgin, whom one of thy +train has robbed of her innocence; her innocence, which was all her +portion--or rather let me die like the memorable Lucretia!" Upon +which she stabs herself. The body is immediately examined, Lucretia +recovers by a cup of right Nantz, and the matron, who is her next +relation, stops all process at law.' + +Similar extraordinary entertainments continue the evening, which +concludes in a distribution of largesse by the fictitious sultan. + + +No. 47. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 28, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' describes an incident of Sir Taffety Trippet, a +fortune-hunter, whose follies, according to Mr. Bickerstaff, are too +gross to give diversion; and whose vanity is too stupid to let him be +sensible that he is a public offence. + + [Illustration] + +'It happened that, when he first set up for a fortune-hunter, he chose +Tunbridge for the scene of action, where were at that time two sisters +upon the same design. The knight believed, of course, the elder must +be the better prize; and consequently makes all sail that way. People +that want sense do always in an egregious manner want modesty, which +made our hero triumph in making his amour as public as was possible. +The adored lady was no less vain of his public addresses. An attorney +with one cause is not half so restless as a woman with one lover. +Wherever they met, they talked to each other aloud, chose each other +partner at balls, saluted at the most conspicuous part of the service +of the church, and practised, in honour of each other, all the +remarkable particularities which are usual for persons who admire one +another, and are contemptible to the rest of the world. These two +lovers seemed as much made for each other as Adam and Eve, and all +pronounced it a match of nature's own making; but the night before the +nuptials, so universally approved, the younger sister, envious of the +good fortune even of her sister, who had been present at most of the +interviews, and had an equal taste for the charm of a fop, as there +are a set of women made for that order of men; the younger, I say, +unable to see so rich a prize pass by her, discovered to Sir Taffety +that a coquet air, much tongue, and three suits was all the portion of +his mistress. His love vanished that moment; himself and equipage the +next morning.' + + +No. 52. THE 'TATLER.'--_Aug. 9, 1709._ + +'DELAMIRA RESIGNS HER FAN. + +'When the beauteous Delamira had published her intention of entering +the bonds of matrimony, the matchless Virgulta, whose charms had made +no satires, thus besought her to confide the secret of her triumphs:-- + +'"Delamira! you are now going into that state of life wherein the use +of your charms is wholly to be applied to the pleasing only one man. +That swimming air of your body, that jaunty bearing of your head over +one shoulder, and that inexpressible beauty in your manner of playing +your fan, must be lowered into a more confined behaviour, to show that +you would rather shun than receive addresses for the future. +Therefore, dear Delamira, give me those excellences you leave off, and +acquaint me with your manner of charming; for I take the liberty of +our friendship to say, that when I consider my own stature, motion, +complexion, wit, or breeding, I cannot think myself any way your +inferior; yet do I go through crowds without wounding a man, and all +my acquaintance marry round me while I live a virgin masked, and I +think unregarded." + + [Illustration] + +'Delamira heard her with great attention, and, with that dexterity +which is natural to her, told her that "all she had above the rest of +her sex and contemporary beauties was wholly owing to a fan (that was +left her by her mother, and had been long in the family), which +whoever had in possession and used with skill, should command the +hearts of all her beholders; and since," said she, smiling, "I have no +more to do with extending my conquests or triumphs, I will make you a +present of this inestimable rarity." Virgulta made her expressions of +the highest gratitude for so uncommon a confidence in her, and desired +she would "show her what was peculiar in the management of that +utensil, which rendered it of such general force when she was +mistress of it." Delamira replied, "You see, madam, Cupid is the +principal figure painted on it; and the skill in playing the fan is, +in your several motions of it, to let him appear as little as +possible; for honourable lovers fly all endeavours to ensnare them, +and your Cupid must hide his bow and arrow, or he will never be sure +of his game. You observe," continued she, "that in all public +assemblies the sexes seem to separate themselves, and draw up to +attack each other with eye-shot: that is the time when the fan, which +is all the armour of a woman, is of most use in our defence; for our +minds are construed by the waving of that little instrument, and our +thoughts appear in composure or agitation according to the motion of +it."' + + +No. 57. THE 'TATLER.'--_Aug. 20, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' transcribes from La Bruyere an extract, which he +introduces as 'one of the most elegant pieces of raillery and satire.' +La Bruyere describes the French as if speaking of a people not yet +discovered, in the air and style of a traveller:-- + +'I have heard talk of a country where the old men are gallant, polite, +and civil; the young men, on the contrary, stubborn, wild, without +either manners or civility. Amongst these people, he is sober who is +never drunk with anything but wine; the too frequent use of it having +rendered it flat and insipid to them: they endeavour by brandy, or +other strong liquors, to quicken their taste, already extinguished, +and want nothing to complete their debauches but to drink aqua-fortis. +The women of that country hasten the decay of their beauty by their +artifices to preserve it; they paint their cheeks, eye-brows, and +shoulders, which they lay open, together with their breasts, arms, and +ears, as if they were afraid to hide those places which they think +will please, and never think they show enough of them. + + [Illustration] + +'The physiognomies of the people of that country are not at all neat, +but confused and embarrassed with a bundle of strange hair, which they +prefer before their natural; with this they weave something to cover +their heads, which descends half way down their bodies, hides their +features, and hinders you from knowing men by their faces. This +nation has, besides this, their god and their king. + +'The grandees go every day, at a certain hour, to a temple they call a +church: at the upper end of that temple there stands an altar +consecrated to their god, where the priest celebrates some mysteries +which they call holy, sacred, and tremendous. The great men make a +vast circle at the foot of the altar, standing with their backs to the +priests and the holy mysteries, and their faces erected towards their +king, who is seen on his knees upon a throne, and to whom they seem to +direct the desires of their hearts, and all their devotion. However, +in this custom there is to be remarked a sort of subordination; for +the people appear adoring their prince and their prince adoring God.' + + +No. 61. THE 'TATLER.'--_Aug. 30, 1709._ + +Mr. Bickerstaff is musing on the degeneracy of the fair, and on the +changes which beauty has undergone since his youth. + +'We have,' he argues, 'no such thing as a standard for good breeding. +I was the other day at my Lady Wealthy's, and asked one of her +daughters how she did. She answered, "She never conversed with men." +The same day I visited at my Lady Plantwell's, and asked her daughter +the same question. She answers, "What is that to you, you old thief?" +and gives me a slap on the shoulders.... + + [Illustration] + +'I will not answer for it, but it may be that I (like other old +fellows) have a fondness for the fashions and manners which prevailed +when I was young and in fashion myself. But certain it is that the +taste of youth and beauty is very much lowered. The fine women they +show me now-a-days are at best but pretty girls to me who have seen +Sacharissa, when all the world repeated the poems she inspired; and +Villaria (the Duchess of Cleveland), when a youthful king was her +subject. The _things_ you follow and make songs on now should be sent +to knit, or sit down to bobbins or bone-lace: they are indeed neat, +and so are their sempstresses; they are pretty, and so are their +handmaids. But that graceful motion, that awful mien, and that winning +attraction, which grew upon them from the thoughts and conversations +they met with in my time, are now no more seen. They tell me I am old: +I am glad I am so, for I do not like your present young ladies.' + + +No. 64. THE 'TATLER.'--_Sept. 6, 1709._ + +'"*** Lost, from the Cocoa-tree, in Pall Mall, two Irish dogs, belonging +to the pack of London; one a tall white wolf dog; the other a black +nimble greyhound, not very sound, and supposed to be gone to the Bath, +by instinct, for cure. The man of the inn from whence they ran, being +now there, is desired, if he meets either of them, to tie them up. +Several others are lost about Tunbridge and Epsom, which, whoever will +maintain, may keep."' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 67. THE 'TATLER.'--_Sept. 13, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' proposes to work upon the post, to establish a charitable +society, from which there shall go every day circular letters to all +parts, within the bills of mortality, to tell people of their faults +in a friendly manner, whereby they may know what the world thinks of +them. An example follows, which had been already sent, by way of +experiment, without success:-- + +'"Madam,--Let me beg of you to take off the patches at the lower end +of your left cheek, and I will allow two more under your left eye, +which will contribute more to the symmetry of your face; except you +would please to remove the two black atoms on your ladyship's chin, +and wear one large patch instead of them. If so, you may properly +enough retain the three patches above mentioned. I am, &c." + + [Illustration] + +'This I thought had all the civility and reason in the world in it; +but whether my letters are intercepted, or whatever it is, the lady +patches as she used to do. It is observed by all the charitable +society, as an instruction in their epistles, that they tell people of +nothing but what is in their power to mend. I shall give another +instance of this way of writing: two sisters in Essex Street are +eternally gaping out of the window, as if they knew not the value of +time, or would call in companions. Upon which I writ the following +line:-- + + '"Dear Creatures,--On the receipt of this, shut your + casements." + +'But I went by yesterday, and found them still at the window. What can +a man do in this case, but go in and wrap himself up in his own +integrity, with satisfaction only in this melancholy truth, that +virtue is its own reward; and that if no one is the better for his +admonitions, yet he is himself the more virtuous, in that he gave +those advices?' + + +No. 79. THE 'TATLER.'--_Oct. 11, 1709._ + +Mr. Bickerstaff's sister Jenny is going to be married. The 'Tatler' +tells the following anecdote, as a warning 'to be above trifles:'-- + + [Illustration] + +'This, dear Jenny, is the reason that the quarrel between Sir Harry +and his lady, which began about her squirrel, is irreconcilable. Sir +Harry was reading a grave author; she runs into his study, and, in a +playing humour, claps the squirrel upon the folio: he threw the +animal, in a rage, on the floor; she snatches it up again, calls Sir +Harry a sour pedant, without good nature or good manners. This cast +him into such a rage, that he threw down the table before him, kicked +the book round the room, then recollected himself: "Lord, madam," said +he, "why did you run into such expressions? I was," said he, "in the +highest delight with that author when you clapped your squirrel upon +my book;" and smiling, added upon recollection, "I have a great +respect for your favourite, and pray let us be all friends." My lady +was so far from accepting this apology, that she immediately conceived +a resolution to keep him under for ever, and, with a serious air, +replied, "There is no regard to be had to what a man says who can fall +into so indecent a rage and an abject submission in the same moment, +for which I absolutely despise you." Upon which she rushed out of the +room. Sir Harry stayed some minutes behind, to think and command +himself; after which he followed her into her bed-chamber, where she +was prostrate upon the bed, tearing her hair, and naming twenty +coxcombs who would have used her otherwise. This provoked him to so +high a degree that he forbade nothing but beating her; and all the +servants in the family were at their several stations listening, +whilst the best man and woman, the best master and mistress, defamed +each other in a way that is not to be repeated even at Billingsgate. +You know this ended in an immediate separation: she longs to return +home, but knows not how to do it; and he invites her home every day. +Her husband requires no submission of her; but she thinks her very +return will argue she is to blame, which she is resolved to be for +ever, rather than acknowledge it.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 86. THE 'TATLER.'--_Oct. 27, 1709._ + +'When I came home last night, my servant delivered me the following +letter:-- + +'"Sir,--I have orders from Sir Harry Quickset, of Staffordshire, +Baronet, to acquaint you, that his honour, Sir Harry himself; Sir +Giles Wheelbarrow, Knight; Thomas Rentfree, Esquire, justice of the +quorum; Andrew Windmill, Esquire; and Mr. Nicolas Doubt, of the Inner +Temple, Sir Harry's grandson, will wait upon you at the hour of nine +to-morrow morning, being Tuesday, the twenty-fifth of October, upon +business which Sir Harry will impart to you by word of mouth. I +thought it proper to acquaint you beforehand, so many persons of +quality came, that you might not be surprised therewith. Which +concludes, though by many years' absence since I saw you at Stafford, +unknown, Sir, your most humble servant, + + '"JOHN THRIFTY." + +'I received this note with less surprise than I believe Mr. Thrifty +imagined; for I know the good company too well to feel any +palpitations at their approach: but I was in very great concern how I +could adjust the ceremonial, and demean myself to all these great men, +who perhaps had not seen anything above themselves for these twenty +years last past. I am sure that is the case of Sir Harry. Besides +which, I was sensible that there was a great point in adjusting my +behaviour to the simple squire, so as to give him satisfaction, and +not disoblige the justice of the quorum. + +'The hour of nine was come this morning, and I had no sooner set +chairs, by the steward's letter, and fixed my tea-equipage, but I +heard a knock at my door, which was opened, but no one entered; after +which followed a long silence, which was at last broken by, "Sir, I +beg your pardon; I think I know better:" and another voice, "Nay, good +Sir Giles----" I looked out from my window, and saw the good company +all with their hats off, and arms spread, offering the door to each +other. After many offers, they entered with much solemnity, in the +order Mr. Thrifty was so kind as to name them to me. But they had now +got to my chamber-door, and I saw my old friend Sir Harry enter. I met +him with all the respect due to so reverend a vegetable; for you are +to know that is my sense of a person who remains idle in the same +place for half a century. I got him with great success into his chair +by the fire, without throwing down any of my cups. The knight-bachelor +told me, "he had a great respect for my whole family, and would, with +my leave, place himself next to Sir Harry, at whose right hand he had +sat at every quarter-sessions these thirty years, unless he was sick." +The steward in the rear whispered the young templar, "That is true to +my knowledge." I had the misfortune, as they stood cheek by jole, to +desire the squire to sit down before the justice of the quorum, to the +no small satisfaction of the former, and the resentment of the latter. +But I saw my error too late, and got them as soon as I could into +their seats. "Well," said I, "gentlemen, after I have told you how +glad I am of this great honour, I am to desire you to drink a dish of +tea." They answered one and all, "that they never drank tea of a +morning." "Not drink tea of a morning?" said I, staring round me. Upon +which the pert jackanapes, Nic Doubt, tipped me the wink, and put out +his tongue at his grandfather. Here followed a profound silence, when +the steward, in his boots and whip, proposed, "that we should adjourn +to some public house, where everybody might call for what they +pleased, and enter upon the business." We all stood up in an instant, +and Sir Harry filed off from the left, very discreetly, +countermarching behind the chairs towards the door. After him Sir +Giles, in the same manner. The simple squire made a sudden start to +follow; but the justice of the quorum whipped between upon the stand +of the stairs. A maid, going up with coals, made us halt, and put us +into such confusion that we stood all in a heap, without any visible +possibility of recovering our order; for the young jackanapes seemed +to make a jest of this matter, and had so contrived, by pressing in +amongst us, under pretence of making way, that his grandfather was got +into the middle, and he knew nobody was of quality to stir a step +until Sir Harry moved first. We were fixed in this perplexity for some +time, until we heard a very loud noise in the street; and Sir Harry +asking what it was, I, to make them move, said, "it was fire." Upon +this all ran down as fast as they could, without order or ceremony, +until we got into the street, where we drew up in very good order, and +filed down Sheer Lane; the impertinent templar driving us before him +as in a string, and pointing to his acquaintance who passed by. When +we came to Dick's coffee-house we were at our old difficulty, and took +up the street upon the same ceremony. We proceeded through the entry, +and were so necessarily kept in order by the situation that we were +now got into the coffee-house itself; where, as soon as we arrived, we +repeated our civilities to each other: after which we marched up to +the high table, which has an ascent to it inclosed in the middle of +the room. The whole house was alarmed at this entry, made up of +persons of so much state and rusticity. Sir Harry called for a mug of +ale and "Dyer's Letter." The boy brought the ale in an instant, but +said, "they did not take in the letter." "No!" says Sir Harry, "then +take back your mug; we are like indeed to have good liquor at this +house!" Here the templar tipped me a second wink, and, if I had not +looked very grave upon him, I found he was disposed to be very +familiar with me. In short, I observed, after a long pause, that the +gentlemen did not care to enter upon business until after their +morning draught, for which reason I called for a bottle of mum; and +finding that had no effect upon them, I ordered a second, and a third; +after which Sir Harry reached over to me, and told me in a low voice, +"that place was too public for business; but he would call upon me +again to-morrow morning at my own lodgings, and bring some more +friends with him."' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 88. THE 'TATLER.'--_Nov. 1, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler' has been much surprised by the manoeuvres of a studious +neighbour. + + 'From my own Apartment, October 31. + + [Illustration] + +'I was this morning awakened by a sudden shake of the house; and as +soon as I had got a little out of my consternation, I felt another, +which was followed by two or three repetitions of the same convulsion. +I got up as fast as possible, girt on my rapier, and snatched up my +hat, when my landlady came up to me, and told me, "that the +gentlewoman of the next house begged me to step thither, for that a +lodger that she had taken in was run mad; and she desired my advice." +I went immediately. Our neighbour told us, "she had the day before let +her second floor to a very genteel youngish man, who told her he kept +extraordinary good hours, and was generally at home most part of the +morning and evening at study; but that this morning he had for an hour +together made this extravagant noise which we then heard." I went up +stairs with my hand upon the hilt of my rapier, and approached this +new lodger's door. I looked in at the key-hole, and there I saw a +well-made man look with great attention on a book, and on a sudden +jump into the air so high, that his head almost touched the ceiling. +He came down safe on his right foot, and again flew up, alighting on +his left; then looked again at his book, and, holding out his leg, put +it into such a quivering motion, that I thought that he would have +shaken it off. He used the left after the same manner, when on a +sudden, to my great surprise, he stooped himself incredibly low, and +turned gently on his toes. After this circular motion, he continued +bent in that humble posture for some time looking on his book. After +this, he recovered himself with a sudden spring, and flew round the +room in all the violence and disorder imaginable, until he made a full +pause for want of breath. In this interim my woman asked "what I +thought?" I whispered "that I thought this learned person an +enthusiast, who possibly had his education in the Peripatetic way, +which was a sect of philosophers, who always studied when walking." +Observing him much out of breath, I thought it the best time to master +him if he were disordered, and knocked at his door. I was surprised to +find him open it, and say with great civility and good mien, "that he +hoped he had not disturbed us." I believed him in a lucid interval, +and desired "he would please to let me see his book." He did so, +smiling. I could not make anything of it, and, therefore, asked "in +what language it was writ?" He said, "it was one he studied with great +application; but it was his profession to teach it, and could not +communicate his knowledge without a consideration." I answered that I +hoped he would hereafter keep his thoughts to himself, for his +meditations this morning had cost me three coffee dishes and a clean +pipe. He seemed concerned at that, and told me "he was a dancing +master, and had been reading a dance or two before he went out, which +had been written by one who taught at an academy in France." He +observed me at a stand, and informed me, "that now articulate motions +as well as sounds were expressed by proper characters; and that there +is nothing so common as to communicate a dance by a letter." I +besought him hereafter to meditate in a ground room, for that +otherwise it would be impossible for an artist of any other kind to +live near him, and that I was sure several of his thoughts this +morning would have shaken my spectacles off my nose, had I been myself +at study.' + +No. 91. THE 'TATLER.'--_Nov. 8, 1709._ + + [Illustration] + +One of the celebrated beauties of 1709 pays the 'Tatler' a friendly +visit to obtain his counsel on the choice of her future husband, being +perplexed between two suitors--between inclination on one hand and +riches on the other. + + 'From my own Apartment, November 7. + +'I was very much surprised this evening with a visit from one of the +top Toasts of the town, who came privately in a chair, and bolted into +my room, while I was reading a chapter of Agrippa upon the occult +sciences; but, as she entered with all the air and bloom that nature +ever bestowed on woman, I threw down the conjurer and met the charmer. +I had no sooner placed her at my right hand by the fire, but she +opened to me the reason of her visit. "Mr. Bickerstaff," said the fine +creature, "I have been your correspondent some time, though I never +saw you before; I have writ by the name of Maria. You have told me you +are too far gone in life to think of love. Therefore I am answered as +to the passion I spoke of; and," continued she, smiling, "I will not +stay until you grow young again, as you men never fail to do in your +dotage; but am come to consult you as to disposing of myself to +another. My person you see, my fortune is very considerable; but I am +at present under much perplexity how to act in a great conjuncture. I +have two lovers, Crassus and Lorio. Crassus is prodigiously rich, but +has no one distinguishing quality. Lorio has travelled, is well bred, +pleasant in discourse, discreet in his conduct, agreeable in his +person; and with all this, he has a competency of fortune without +superfluity. When I consider Lorio, my mind is filled with an idea of +the great satisfactions of a pleasant conversation. When I think of +Crassus, my equipage, numerous servants, gay liveries, and various +dresses, are opposed to the charms of his rival. In a word, when I +cast my eyes upon Lorio, I forget and despise fortune; when I behold +Crassus, I think only of pleasing my vanity, and enjoying an +uncontrolled expense in all the pleasures of life, except love."' + +The 'Tatler' naturally advised the lady that the man of her +affections, rather than the lover who could gratify her vanity with +outward show, would afford her the truest happiness, and counselled +her to keep her thoughts of happiness within the means of her fortune, +and not to measure it by comparison with the mere riches of others. + + +No. 93. THE 'TATLER.'--_Nov. 12, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler,' from his eagerness to promote social reforms, has +succeeded in drawing upon himself numerous challenges from the +individuals who have considered themselves aggrieved by his writings. + + 'From my own Apartment, November 11. + +'I have several hints and advertisements from unknown hands, that some +who are enemies to my labours design to demand the fashionable way of +satisfaction for the disturbance my lucubrations have given them. I +confess that as things now stand I do not know how to deny such +inviters, and am preparing myself accordingly. I have bought pumps, +and foils, and am every morning practising in my chamber. My +neighbour, the dancing-master, has demanded of me, "why I take this +liberty since I will not allow it to him?" but I answered, "his was an +act of indifferent nature, and mine of necessity." My late treatises +against duels have so far disobliged the fraternity of the noble +science of defence, that I can get none of them to show me so much as +one pass. I am, therefore, obliged to learn by book, and have +accordingly several volumes, wherein all the postures are exactly +delineated. I must confess I am shy of letting people see me at this +exercise, because of my flannel waistcoat, and my spectacles, which I +am forced to fix on the better to observe the posture of the enemy. + + [Illustration] + +'I have upon my chamber walls drawn at full length the figures of all +sorts of men, from eight feet to three feet two inches. Within this +height, I take it, that all the fighting men of Great Britain are +comprehended. But as I push, I make allowance for my being of a lank +and spare body, and have chalked out in every figure my own +dimensions; for I scorn to rob any man of his life by taking advantage +of his breadth; therefore, I press purely in a line down from his +nose, and take no more of him to assault than he has of me; for, to +speak impartially, if a lean fellow wounds a fat one in any part to +the right or left, whether it be in _carte_ or in _tierce_, beyond the +dimensions of the said lean fellow's own breadth, I take it to be +murder, and such a murder as is below a gentleman to commit. As I am +spare, I am also very tall, and behave myself with relation to that +advantage with the same punctilio, and I am ready to stoop or stand, +according to the stature of my adversary. + +'I must confess that I have had great success this morning, and have +hit every figure round the room in a mortal part, without receiving +the least hurt, except a little scratch by falling on my face, in +pushing at one at the lower end of my chamber; but I recovered so +quick, and jumped so nimbly on my guard, that, if he had been alive, +he could not have hurt me. It is confessed I have written against +duels with some warmth; but in all my discourses I have not ever said +that I knew how a gentleman could avoid a duel if he were provoked to +it; and since that custom is now become a law, I know nothing but the +legislative power, with new animadversions upon it, can put us in a +capacity of denying challenges, though we were afterwards hanged for +it. But no more of this at present. As things stand, I shall put up +with no more affronts; and I shall be so far from taking ill words +that I will not take ill looks. I therefore warn all hot young fellows +not to look hereafter more terrible than their neighbours; for if they +stare at me with their hats cocked higher than other people, I will +not bear it. Nay, I give warning to all people in general to look +kindly at me; for I will bear no frowns, even from ladies; and if any +woman pretends to look scornfully at me, I shall demand satisfaction +of the next of kin of the masculine gender.' + + +No. 96. THE 'TATLER.'--_Nov. 19, 1709._ + +The 'Tatler,' in despair of effecting his object by discouraging +certain acts of foppery, endeavours to carry out his principle by an +opposite course of treatment. + + 'From my own Apartment, November 18. + +'When an engineer finds his guns have not had their intended effect, +he changes his batteries. I am forced at present to take this method; +and instead of continuing to write against the singularity some are +guilty of in their habit and behaviour, I shall henceforth desire them +to persevere in it; and not only so, but shall take it as a favour of +all the coxcombs in the town, if they will set marks upon themselves, +and by some particular in their dress show to what class they belong. +It would be very obliging in all such persons, who feel in themselves +that they are not of sound understanding, to give the world notice of +it, and spare mankind the pains of finding them out. A cane upon the +fifth button shall from henceforth be the sign of a dapper; red-heeled +shoes and a hat hung upon one side of the head shall signify a smart; +_a good periwig made into a twist, with a brisk cock_, shall speak a +mettled fellow; and an upper lip covered with snuff, a coffee-house +statesman. But as it is required that all coxcombs hang out their +signs, it is, on the other hand, expected that men of real merit +should avoid anything particular in their dress, gait, or behaviour. +For, as we old men delight in proverbs, I cannot forbear bringing out +one on this occasion, that "good wine needs no bush." + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'I must not leave this subject without reflecting on several persons I +have lately met, who at a distance seem very terrible; but upon a +stricter enquiry into their looks and features, appear as meek and +harmless as any of my neighbours. These are country gentlemen, who of +late years have taken up a humour of coming to town in red coats, whom +an arch wag of my acquaintance used to describe very well by calling +them "sheep in wolves' clothing." I have often wondered that honest +gentlemen, who are good neighbours, and live quietly in their own +possessions, should take it into their heads to frighten the town +after this unreasonable manner. I shall think myself obliged, if they +persist in so unnatural a dress, notwithstanding any posts they may +have in the _militia_, to give away their red coats to any of the +soldiery who shall think fit to strip them, provided the said soldiers +can make it appear that they belong to a regiment where there is a +deficiency in the clothing. About two days ago I was walking in the +park, and accidentally met a rural esquire, clothed in all the types +above mentioned, with a carriage and behaviour made entirely out of +his own head. He was of a bulk and stature larger than ordinary, had a +red coat, flung open to show a gay calamancho waistcoat. His periwig +fell in a very considerable bush upon each shoulder. His arms +naturally swung at an unreasonable distance from his sides; which, +with the advantage of a cane that he brandished in a great variety of +irregular motions, made it unsafe for any one to walk within several +yards of him. In this manner he took up the whole Mall, his spectators +moving on each side of it, whilst he cocked up his hat, and marched +directly for Westminster. I cannot tell who this gentleman is, but for +my comfort may say, with the lover in Terence, who lost sight of a +fine young lady, "Wherever thou art, thou canst not be long +concealed."' + + +No. 103. THE 'TATLER.'--_Dec. 6, 1709._ + + These toys will once to serious mischiefs fall, + When he is laughed at, when he's jeer'd by all. + _Creech_ (ab Hor., Ars Poet. v. 452). + +The 'Tatler,' pursuing his vocation as a censor of manners, is +presumed to have established a court, before which all bearers of +canes, snuff-boxes, perfumed handkerchiefs, perspective glasses, &c., +are brought, that they may, upon showing proper cause, have licences +granted for carrying the same; but upon conviction that these +appendages of fashion are adopted merely out of frivolous show, the +articles thus exposed are ordered to become forfeited. + + [Illustration] + +'Having despatched this set of my petitioners, the bearers of canes, +there came in a well-dressed man, with a glass tube in one hand, and +his petition in the other. Upon his entering the room, he _threw back +the right side of his wig_, put forward his left leg, and advancing +the glass to his right eye, aimed it directly at me. In the meanwhile, +to make my observations also, I put on my spectacles; in which +posture we surveyed each other for some time. Upon the removal of our +glasses, I desired him to read his petition, which he did very +promptly and easily; though at the same time it sets forth "that he +could see nothing distinctly, and was within very few degrees of being +utterly blind," concluding, with a prayer, "that he might be permitted +to strengthen his sight by a glass." In answer to this, I told him "he +might sometimes extend it to his own destruction. As you are now," +said I, "you are out of the reach of beauty; the shafts of the finest +eyes lose their force before they can come at you; you cannot +distinguish a Toast from an orange-wench; you can see a whole circle +of beauty without any interruption from an impertinent face to +discompose you. In short, what are snares for others"--my petitioner +would hear no more, but told me very seriously, "Mr. Bickerstaff, you +quite mistake your man; it is the joy, the pleasure, the employment of +my life to frequent public assemblies and gaze upon the fair." In a +word, I found his use of a glass was occasioned by no other infirmity +but his vanity, and was not so much designed to make him see as to +make him be seen and distinguished by others. I therefore refused him +a licence for a perspective, but allowed him a pair of spectacles, +with full permission to use them in any public assembly as he should +think fit. He was followed by so very few of this order of men, that I +have reason to hope that this sort of cheat is almost at an end. + +'Little follies in dress and behaviour lead to greater evils. The +bearing to be laughed at for such singularity teaches us insensibly an +impertinent fortitude, and enables us to bear public censure for +things that most substantially deserve it. By this means they open a +gate to folly, and often render a man so ridiculous as to discredit +his virtues and capacities, and unqualify him from doing any good in +the world. Besides, the giving in to uncommon habits of this nature, +it is a want of that humble deference which is due to mankind, and, +what is worst of all, the certain indication of some secret flaw in +the mind of the person that commits them. + +'When I was a young man, I remember a gentleman of great integrity and +worth was very remarkable for wearing a broad belt and a hanger +instead of a fashionable sword, though in other points a very +well-bred man. I suspected him at first sight to have something wrong +in him, but was not able for a long time to discover any collateral +proofs of it. I watched him narrowly for six-and-thirty years, when at +last, to the surprise of everybody but myself, who had long expected +to see the folly break out, he married his own cook-maid.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 108. THE 'TATLER.'--_Dec. 17, 1709._ + + Thus while the mute creation downward bend + Their sight, and to their earthly mother tend, + Man looks aloft, and with erected eyes + Beholds his own hereditary skies.--_Dryden._ + +The 'Tatler,' for a little rational recreation, has visited the +theatre, hoping to enlarge his ideas; but even in 1709 we find a +passion for mere acrobatic exhibitions engaging and corrupting the +popular taste. + +'While I was in suspense, expecting every moment to see my old friend +Mr. Betterton appear in all the majesty of distress, to my unspeakable +amazement there came up a monster with a face between his feet, and as +I was looking on he raised himself on one leg in such a perpendicular +posture that the other grew in a direct line above his head. It +afterwards twisted itself into the motions and writhings of several +different animals, and, after a great variety of shapes and +transformations, went off the stage in the figure of a human creature. +The admiration, the applause, the satisfaction of the audience, during +this strange entertainment, is not to be expressed. I was very much +out of countenance for my dear countrymen, and looked about with some +apprehension, for fear any foreigner should be present. Is it +possible, thought I, that human nature can rejoice in its disgrace, +and take pleasure in seeing its own figure turned to ridicule and +distorted into forms that raise horror and aversion!' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 109. THE 'TATLER.'--_Dec. 20, 1709._ + + In this giddy, busy maze, + I lose the sunshine of my days.--_Francis._ + +A fine lady has condescended to consult the 'Tatler' on a trifling +matter; the solemnity of her state--an admirable picture of the +equipage of a fine lady of that period--electrifies the philosopher +and amazes his simple neighbours. + + 'Sheer Lane, December 19. + +'There has not some years been such a tumult in our neighbourhood as +this evening, about six. At the lower end of the lane, the word was +given that there was a great funeral coming by. The next moment came +forward, in a very hasty instead of a solemn manner, a long train of +lights, when at last a footman, in very high youth and health, with +all his force, ran through the whole art of beating the door of the +house next to me, and ended his rattle with the true finishing rap. +This did not only bring one to the door at which he knocked, but to +that of everyone in the lane in an instant. Among the rest, my +country-maid took the alarm, and immediately running to me, told me +"there was a fine, fine lady, who had three men with burial torches +making way before her, carried by two men upon poles, with +looking-glasses each side of her, and one glass also before, she +herself appearing the prettiest that ever was." The girl was going on +in her story, when the lady was come to my door in her chair, having +mistaken the house. As soon as she entered I saw she was Mr. Isaac's +scholar, by her speaking air, and the becoming stop she made when she +began her apology. "You will be surprised, sir," said she, "that I +take this liberty, who am utterly a stranger to you; besides that, it +may be thought an indecorum that I visit a man." She made here a +pretty hesitation, and held her fan to her face. Then, as if +recovering her resolution, she proceeded, "But I think you have said, +that men of your age are of no sex; therefore, I may be as free with +you as with one of my own."' + + [Illustration] + +The fine lady consults Mr. Bickerstaff on a trivial subject; she then +describes to him the honour he should esteem her visit; the number of +calls she is compelled to make, out of custom or ceremony, taking her +miles round; several acquaintances on her visiting list having been +punctually called on every week, and yet never seen for more than a +year. Then follows an account of a visiting list for 1708:-- + + Mrs. Courtwood--_Debtor._ Per contra--_Creditor._ + + To seventeen hundred and By eleven hundred and + four visits received 1704 nine paid 1109 + + Due to balance 595--1704 + + +No. 111. THE 'TATLER.'--_Dec. 24, 1709._ + + Oh! mortal man, thou that art born in sin! + _The Bellman's Midnight Homily._ + +Mr. Bickerstaff is meditating on mental infirmities; after examining +the faults of others, he is disposed to philosophise on his own bad +propensities, and his cautiousness to keep them within reasonable +subjection. + +'I have somewhere either read or heard a very memorable sentence, +"that a man would be a most insupportable monster, should he have the +faults that are incident to his years, constitution, profession, +family, religion, age, and country;" and yet every man is in danger of +them all. For this reason, as I am an old man, I take particular care +to avoid being covetous, and telling long stories. As I am choleric, I +forbear not only swearing, but all interjections of fretting, as pugh! +or pish! and the like. As I am a lay-man, I resolve not to conceive an +aversion for a wise and good man, because his coat is of a different +colour from mine. As I am descended of the ancient family of the +Bickerstaffs, I never call a man of merit an upstart. As a Protestant, +I do not suffer my zeal so far to transport me as to name the Pope and +the Devil together. As I am fallen into this degenerate age, I guard +myself particularly against the folly I have now been speaking of. As +I am an Englishman, I am very cautious not to hate a stranger, or +despise a poor palatine.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 116. THE 'TATLER.'--_Jan. 5, 1710._ + +The 'Tatler,' still maintaining his court for the examination of +frivolities in costume, is engaged in giving judgment on female +fashions. The hooped petticoat is the subject before his worshipful +board. A fair offender has been captured, and stripped of her +encumbrances until she is reduced to dimensions which will allow her +to enter the house; the petticoat is then hung up to the roof--its +ample dimensions covering the entire court like a canopy. The late +wearer had the sense to confess that she 'should be glad to see an +example made of it, that she wore it for no other reason but that she +had a mind to look as big and burly as other persons of her quality, +and that she kept out of it as long as she could and until she began +to appear little in the eyes of her acquaintance.' After hearing +arguments concerning the encouragement the wearing of these monstrous +appendages offered to the woollen manufacturers, to the rope and cord +makers, and to the whalebone fisheries of Greenland, the 'Tatler' +pronounced his decision that the expense thus entailed on fathers and +husbands, and the prejudice to the ladies themselves, 'who could never +expect to have any money in the pocket if they laid out so much on the +petticoat,' together with the fact that since the introduction of +these garments several persons of quality were in the habit of cutting +up their cast gowns to strengthen their stiffening, instead of +bestowing them as perquisites or in charity, determined him to seize +the petticoat as a forfeiture, to be sent as a present to a widow +gentlewoman, who had five daughters, to be made into petticoats for +each, the remainder to be returned to be cut up into stomachers and +caps, facings for waistcoat sleeves, and other garniture. He thus +concludes: 'I consider woman as a beautiful, romantic animal, that may +be adorned with furs and feathers, pearls and diamonds, ores and +silks. The lynx shall cast its skin at her feet to make her a tippet; +the peacock, parrot, and swan shall pay contributions to her muff; the +sea shall be searched for shells, and the rocks for gems; and every +part of nature furnish out its share towards the embellishment of a +creature that is the most consummate work of it. All this I shall +indulge them in; but as for the petticoat I have been speaking of I +neither can nor will allow it.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 145. THE 'TATLER.'--_March 14, 1710._ + + Nescio quis teneros oculus mihi fascinat agnos. + --_Virg. Ecl._ III. 103. + + Ah! what ill eyes bewitch my tender lambs? + + [Illustration] + +'This paper was allotted for taking into consideration a late request +of two indulgent parents, touching the care of a young daughter, whom +they design to send to a boarding-school, or keep at home, according +to my determination; but I am diverted from that subject by letters +which I have received from several ladies, complaining of a certain +sect of professed enemies to the repose of the fair sex, called +oglers. These are, it seems, gentlemen who look with deep attention on +one object at the playhouses, and are ever staring all round them in +churches. It is urged by my correspondents, that they do all that is +possible to keep their eyes off these ensnarers; but that, by what +power they know not, both their diversions and devotions are +interrupted by them in such a manner as that they cannot attend to +either, without stealing looks at the persons whose eyes are fixed +upon them. By this means, my petitioners say, they find themselves +grow insensibly less offended, and in time enamoured of these their +enemies. What is required of me on this occasion is, that as I love +and study to preserve the better part of mankind, the females, I would +give them some account of this dangerous way of assault; against which +there is so little defence, that it lays ambush for the sight itself, +and makes them seeingly, knowingly, willingly, and forcibly go on to +their own captivity. The naturalists tell us that the rattlesnake will +fix himself under a tree where he sees a squirrel playing; and when he +has once got the exchange of a glance from the pretty wanton, will +give it such a sudden stroke on its imagination, that though it may +play from bough to bough, and strive to avert its eyes from it for +some time, yet it comes nearer and nearer, by little intervals looking +another way, until it drops into the jaws of the animal, which it knew +gazed at it for no other reason but to ruin it. I did not believe +this piece of philosophy until the night when I made my observations +of the play of eyes at the opera, where I then saw the same thing pass +between an ogler and a coquette.' + + +No. 146. THE 'TATLER.'--_March 16, 1710._ + + Intrust thy fortune to the Powers above; + Leave them to manage for thee, and to grant + What their unerring wisdom sees thee want: + In wisdom as in greatness they excel; + Ah! that we lov'd ourselves but half so well! + We, blindly by our headstrong passions led, + Are hot for action, and desire to wed; + Then wish for heirs, but to the gods alone + Our future offspring and our wives are known. + _Juv. Sat., Dryden._ + + [Illustration] + +'As I was sitting after dinner in my elbow-chair, I took up Homer, and +dipped into that famous speech of Achilles to Priam,[19] in which he +tells him that Jupiter has by him two great vessels, the one filled +with blessings, and the other with misfortunes; out of which he +mingles a composition for every man that comes into the world. This +passage so exceedingly pleased me, that, as I fell insensibly into my +afternoon's slumber, it wrought my imagination into the following +dream:-- + +'When Jupiter took into his hands the government of the world, the +several parts of nature with the presiding deities did homage to him. +One presented him with a mountain of winds, another with a magazine of +hail, and a third with a pile of thunderbolts. The Stars offered up +their influences; Ocean gave his trident, Earth her fruits, and the +Sun his seasons. + +'Among others the Destinies advanced with two great urns, one of which +was fixed on the right hand of Jove's throne, and the other on the +left. The first was filled with all the blessings, the second with all +the calamities, of human life. Jupiter, in the beginning of his reign, +poured forth plentifully from the right hand; but as mankind, +degenerating, became unworthy of his blessings, he broached the other +vessel, which filled the earth with pain and poverty, battles and +distempers, jealousy and falsehood, intoxicating pleasures and +untimely deaths. He finally, in despair at the depravity of human +nature, resolved to recall his gifts and lay them in store until the +world should be inhabited by a more deserving race. + +'The three sisters of Destiny immediately repaired to the earth in +search of the several blessings which had been scattered over it, but +found great difficulties in their task. The first places they resorted +to, as the most likely of success, were cities, palaces, and courts; +but instead of meeting with what they looked for here, they found +nothing but envy, repining, uneasiness, and the like bitter +ingredients of the left-hand vessel; whereas, to their great surprise, +they discovered content, cheerfulness, health, innocence, and other +the most substantial blessings of life, in cottages, shades, and +solitudes. In other places the blessings had been converted into +calamities, and misfortunes had become real benefits, while in many +cases the two had entered into alliance. In their perplexity the +Destinies were compelled to throw all the blessings and calamities +into one vessel, and leave them to Jupiter to use his own discretion +in their future distribution.' + +No. 148. THE 'TATLER.'--_March 21, 1710._ + + They ransack ev'ry element for choice + Of ev'ry fish and fowl, at any price. + +'I may, perhaps, be thought extravagant in my notion; but I confess I +am apt to impute the dishonours that sometimes happen in great +families to the inflaming diet which is so much in fashion. For this +reason we see the florid complexion, the strong limb, and the hale +constitution are to be found among the meaner sort of people, or in +the wild gentry who have been educated among the woods or mountains; +whereas many great families are insensibly fallen off from the +athletic constitution of their progenitors, and are dwindled away into +a pale, sickly, spindle-legged generation of valetudinarians. + +'I look upon a French ragout to be as pernicious to the stomach as a +glass of spirits; and when I see a young lady swallow all the +instigations of high soups, seasoned sauces, and forced meats, I have +wondered at the despair or tedious sighing of her lovers. + + [Illustration] + +'The rules among these false delicates are, to be as contradictory as +they can be to nature. They admit of nothing at their tables in its +natural form, or without some disguise. They are to eat everything +before it comes in season, and to leave it off as soon as it is good +to be eaten. + +'I remember I was last summer invited to a friend's house, who is a +great admirer of the French cookery, and, as the phrase is, "eats +well." At our sitting down, I found the table covered with a great +variety of unknown dishes. I was mightily at a loss to learn what they +were, and therefore did not know where to help myself. That which +stood before me I took to be roasted porcupine--however, I did not +care for asking questions--and have since been informed that it was +only a larded turkey. I afterwards passed my eye over several hashes, +which I do not know the names of to this day; and, hearing that they +were delicacies, did not think fit to meddle with them. Among other +dainties, I saw something like a pheasant, and therefore desired to be +helped to a wing of it; but to my great surprise, my friend told me it +was a rabbit, which is a sort of meat I never cared for. Even the +dessert was so pleasingly devised and ingeniously arranged that I +cared not to displace it. + +'As soon as this show was over, I took my leave, that I might finish +my dinner at my own house; for as I in everything love what is simple +and natural, so particularly my food. Two plain dishes, with two or +three good-natured, cheerful, ingenuous friends, would make me more +pleased and vain than all that pomp and luxury can bestow; for it is +my maxim that "he keeps the greatest table who has the most valuable +company at it."' + + +No. 155. THE 'TATLER.'--_April 17, 1710._ + + When he had lost all business of his own, + He ran in quest of news through all the town. + +'There lived some years since, within my neighbourhood, a very grave +person, an upholsterer,[20] who seemed a man of more than ordinary +application to business. He was a very early riser, and was often +abroad two or three hours before any of his neighbours. He had a +particular carefulness in the knitting of his brows, and a kind of +impatience in all his motions, that plainly discovered he was always +intent upon matters of importance. Upon my inquiry into his life and +conversation, I found him to be the greatest newsmonger in our +quarter; that he rose before day to read the "Postman;" and that he +would take two or three turns to the other end of the town before his +neighbours were up, to see if there were any Dutch mails come in. He +had a wife and several children; but was much more inquisitive to know +what passed in Poland than in his own family, and was in greater pain +and anxiety of mind for King Augustus's welfare than that of his +nearest relations. He looked extremely thin in a dearth of news, and +never enjoyed himself in a westerly wind. This indefatigable kind of +life was the ruin of his shop; for, about the time that his favourite +prince left the crown of Poland, he broke and disappeared. + + [Illustration] + +'This man and his affairs had been long out of my mind, until about +three days ago, as I was walking in St. James's Park, I heard somebody +at a distance hemming after me; and who should it be but my old +neighbour the upholsterer! I saw he was reduced to extreme poverty, by +certain shabby superfluities in his dress; for notwithstanding that it +was a very sultry day for the time of the year, he wore a loose +great-coat and a muff, with a long campaign wig out of curl; to which +he had added the ornament of a pair of black garters buckled under the +knee. Upon his coming up to me, I was going to inquire into his +present circumstances; but I was prevented by his asking me, with a +whisper, "whether the last letters brought any accounts that one might +rely upon from Bender." I told him, "None that I heard of;" and asked +him "whether he had yet married his eldest daughter." He told me, "No; +but pray," says he, "tell me sincerely, what are your thoughts of the +King of Sweden?" For, though his wife and children were starving, I +found his chief concern at present was for this great monarch. I told +him "that I looked upon him as one of the first heroes of the age." +"But pray," says he, "do you think there is any truth in the story of +his wound?" And finding me surprised at the question, "Nay," says he, +"I only propose it to you." I answered "that I thought there was no +reason to doubt of it." "But why in the heel," says he, "more than in +any other part of the body?" "Because," said I, "the bullet chanced to +light there." + +'We were now got to the upper end of the Mall, where were three or +four very odd fellows sitting together upon the bench. These I found +were all of them politicians, who used to sun themselves in that place +every day about dinner-time. Observing them to be curiosities in their +kind, and my friend's acquaintance, I sat down among them. + + [Illustration] + +'The chief politician of the bench was a great asserter of paradoxes. +He told us, with a seeming concern, "that, by some news he had lately +read from Muscovy, it appeared to him that there was a storm gathering +in the Black Sea, which might in time do hurt to the naval forces of +this nation." To this he added, "that, for his part, he could not wish +to see the Turk driven out of Europe, which, he believed, could not +but be prejudicial to our woollen manufacture." + +'He backed his assertions with so many broken hints and such a show of +depth and wisdom, that we gave ourselves up to his opinions. The +discourse at length fell upon a point which seldom escapes a knot of +true-born Englishmen; whether, in case of a religious war, the +Protestants would not be too strong for the Papists. This we +unanimously determined on the Protestant side.[21] + +'When we had fully discussed this point, my friend the upholsterer +began to exert himself upon the present negotiations of peace; in +which he deposed princes, settled the bounds of kingdoms, and balanced +the power of Europe, with great justice and impartiality. + +'I at length took my leave of the company, and was going away; but had +not gone thirty yards before the upholsterer hemmed again after me. +Upon his advancing towards me with a whisper, I expected to hear some +secret piece of news, which he had not thought fit to communicate to +the bench; but, instead of that, he desired me in my ear to lend him +half-a-crown. In compassion to so needy a statesman, and to dissipate +the confusion I found he was in, I told him, "if he pleased, I would +give him five shillings, to receive five pounds of him when the great +Turk was driven out of Constantinople;" which he very readily +accepted, but not before he had laid down to me the impossibility of +such an event as the affairs of Europe now stand. + +'This paper I design for the peculiar benefit of those worthy citizens +who live more in a coffee-house than in their shops, and whose +thoughts are so taken up with foreign affairs that they forget their +customers.' + + +No. 163. THE 'TATLER.'--_April 25, 1710._ + + Suffenus has no more wit than a mere clown, when he + attempts to write verses; and yet he is never happier than + when he is scribbling; so much does he admire himself and + his compositions. And, indeed, this is the foible of every + one of us; for there is no man living who is not a + Suffenus in one thing or other.--_Catul. de Suffeno_, XX. + 14. + +'I yesterday came hither about two hours before the company generally +make their appearance, with a design to read over all the newspapers; +but, upon my sitting down, I was accosted by Ned Softly, who saw me +from a corner in the other end of the room, where I found he had been +writing something. "Mr. Bickerstaff," says he, "I observe, by a late +paper of yours, that you and I are just of a humour; for you must +know, of all impertinences, there is nothing which I so much hate as +news. I never read a gazette in my life; and never trouble my head +about our armies, whether they win or lose, or in what part of the +world they lie encamped." Without giving me time to reply, he drew a +paper of verses out of his pocket, telling me "that he had something +that would entertain me more agreeably; and that he would desire my +judgment upon every line, for that we had time enough before us until +the company came in." + + [Illustration] + +'Finding myself unavoidably engaged in such a conversation, I was +resolved to turn my pain into a pleasure and to divert myself as well +as I could with _so very odd_ a fellow. "You must understand," says +Ned, "that the sonnet I am going to read to you was written upon a +lady, who showed me some verses of her own making, and is, perhaps, +the best _poet_ of our age. But you shall hear it." + +'Upon which he began to read as follows:-- + +TO MIRA, ON HER INCOMPARABLE POEMS. + +1. + + When dress'd in laurel wreaths you shine, + And tune your soft melodious notes, + You seem a sister of the Nine, + Or Phoebus' self in petticoats. + +2. + + I fancy when your song you sing + (Your song you sing with so much art) + Your pen was pluck'd from Cupid's wing; + For, ah! it wounds me like a dart. + +'"Why," says I, "this is a little nosegay of conceits, a very lump of +salt. Every verse has something in it that piques; and then the _dart_ +in the last line is certainly as pretty a sting on the tail of an +epigram, for so I think you critics call it, as ever entered into the +thought of a poet." "Dear Mr. Bickerstaff," says he, shaking me by the +hand, "everybody knows you to be a judge of these things; and, to +tell you truly, I read over Roscommon's 'Translation of Horace's Art +of Poetry' three several times before I sat down to write the sonnet +which I have shown you. But you shall hear it again, and pray observe +every line of it; for not one of them shall pass without your +approbation. My friend Dick Easy," continued he, "assured me he would +rather have written that '_Ah!_' than to have been the author of the +'AEneid.' + +'"He indeed objected that I made Mira's pen like a quill in one of the +lines and like a dart in the other." "But as to that--oh! as to that," +says I, "it is but supposing Cupid to be like a porcupine, and his +quills and darts will be the same thing." He was going to embrace me +for the hint; but half-a-dozen critics coming into the room, whose +faces he did not like, he conveyed the sonnet into his pocket, and +whispered me in the ear, "he would show it me again as soon as his man +had written it over fair."' + + +No. 178. THE 'TATLER.'--_May 30, 1710._ + + [Illustration] + +'When we look into the delightful history of the most ingenious Don +Quixote of La Mancha, and consider the exercises and manner of life of +that renowned gentleman, we cannot but admire the exquisite genius and +discerning spirit of Michael Cervantes; who has not only painted his +adventurer with great mastery in the conspicuous parts of his story, +which relate to love and honour, but also intimated in his ordinary +life, in his economy and furniture, the infallible symptoms he gave of +his growing phrenzy, before he declared himself a knight-errant. His +hall was furnished with old lances, halberds, and morions; his food, +lentiles; his dress, amorous. He slept moderately, rose early, and +spent his time in hunting. When by watchfulness and exercise he was +thus qualified for the hardships of his intended peregrinations, he +had nothing more to do but to fall hard to study; and, before he +should apply himself to the practical part, get into the methods of +making love and war by reading books of knighthood. As for raising +tender passions in him, Cervantes reports that he was wonderfully +delighted with a smooth intricate sentence; and when they listened at +his study-door, they could frequently hear him read aloud, "The +reason of the unreasonableness, which against my reason is wrought, +doth so weaken my reason, as with all reason I do justly complain of +your beauty." Again he would pause until he came to another charming +sentence, and, with the most pleasing accent imaginable, be loud at a +new paragraph: "The high heavens, which, with your divinity, do +fortify you divinely with the stars, make you deserveress of the +deserts that your greatness deserves." With these and other such +passages, says my author, the poor gentleman grew distracted, and was +breaking his brains day and night to understand and unravel their +sense. + +'What I am now warning the people of is, that the newspapers of this +island are as pernicious to weak heads in England as ever books of +chivalry to Spain; and therefore shall do all that in me lies, with +the utmost care and vigilance imaginable, to prevent these growing +evils.' + +Mr. Bickerstaff goes on to describe the private Bedlam he has provided +for such as are seized with these _rabid_ political _maladies_. + + +No. 186. THE 'TATLER.'--_June 17, 1710._ + + Virtue alone ennobles human kind, + And power should on her glorious footsteps wait. + +'There is nothing more necessary to establish reputation than to +suspend the enjoyment of it. He that cannot bear the sense of merit +with silence, must of necessity destroy it; for fame being the general +mistress of mankind, whoever gives it to himself insults all to whom +he relates any circumstances to his own advantage. He is considered as +an open ravisher of that beauty for whom all others pine in silence. +But some minds are so incapable of any temperance in this particular, +that _on every second_ in their discourse you may observe an +earnestness in their eyes which shows they wait for your approbation; +and perhaps the next instant cast an eye in a glass to see how they +like themselves. + +'Walking the other day in a neighbouring inn of court, I saw a more +happy and more graceful orator than I ever before had heard or read +of. A youth of about nineteen years of age was in an Indian +dressing-gown and laced cap, pleading a cause before a glass. The +young fellow had a very good air, and seemed to hold his brief in his +hand rather to help his action, than that he wanted notes for his +further information. When I first began to observe him, I feared he +would soon be alarmed; but he was so zealous for his client, and so +favourably received by the court, that he went on with great fluency +to inform the bench that he humbly hoped they would not let the merit +of the cause suffer by the youth and inexperience of the pleader; that +in all things he submitted to their candour; and modestly desired they +would not conclude but that strength of argument and force of reason +may be consistent with grace of action and comeliness of person. + + [Illustration] + +'To me (who see people every day in the midst of crowds, whomsoever +they seem to address, talk only to themselves and of themselves) this +orator was not so extravagant a man as perhaps another would have +thought him; but I took part in his success, and was very glad to find +he had in his favour judgment and costs, without any manner of +opposition.' + + +No. 204. THE 'TATLER.'--_July 29, 1710._ + + He with rapture hears + A title tingling in his tender ears. + _Francis's Horace, Sat._ V. 32. + + [Illustration] + +'Were distinctions used according to the rules of reason and sense, +those additions to men's names would be, as they were first intended, +significant of their worth, and not their persons; so that in some +cases it might be proper to say of a deceased ambassador, "The man is +dead; but his excellency will never die." It is, methinks, very unjust +to laugh at a Quaker, because he has taken up a resolution to treat +you with a word the most expressive of complaisance that can be +thought of, and with an air of good-nature and charity calls you +_Friend_. I say, it is very unjust to rally him for this term to a +stranger, when you yourself, in all your phrases of distinction, +confound phrases of honour into no use at all. + +'Tom Courtly, who is the pink of courtesy, is an instance of how +little moment an undistinguishing application of sounds of honour are +to those who understand themselves. Tom never fails of paying his +obeisance to every man he sees who has title or office to make him +conspicuous; but his deference is wholly given to outward +considerations. I, who know him, can tell him within half an acre how +much land one man has more than another by Tom's bow to him. Title is +all he knows of honour, and civility of friendship; for this reason, +because he cares for no man living, he is religiously strict in +performing, what he calls, his respects to you. To this end he is very +learned in pedigree, and will abate something in the ceremony of his +approaches to a man, if he is in any doubt about the bearing of his +coat of arms. What is the most pleasant of all his character is, that +he acts with a sort of integrity in these impertinences; and though he +would not do any solid kindness, he is wonderfully just and careful +not to wrong his quality. But as integrity is very scarce in the +world, I cannot forbear having respect for the impertinent: it is some +virtue to be bound by anything. Tom and I are upon very good terms, +for the respect he has for the house of Bickerstaff. Though one cannot +but laugh at his serious consideration of things so little essential, +one must have a value even for a frivolous good conscience.' + + [Illustration] + +FOOTNOTES: + +[13] Wycherley, in a letter to Pope (May 17, 1709), writes, 'Hitherto +your "Miscellanies" have safely run the gauntlet through all the +coffee-houses, which are now entertained with a whimsical new +newspaper called the "Tatler," which I suppose you have seen.' + +[14] White's Chocolate-house was then lower down St. James's Street, +and on the opposite side to its present site. + +[15] Will's Coffee-house was on the north side of Russell Street, +Covent Garden, now No. 23 Great Russell Street. + +[16] The 'Grecian' was in Devereux Court, Strand. + +[17] 'Shire Lane' was also the heading of numerous papers. + +[18] Mr. Isaac, a famous dancing-master at that time, was a Frenchman +and Roman Catholic. + +[19] + + Two urns by Jove's high throne have ever stood, + The source of evil one, and one of good; + From thence the cup of mortal man he fills, + Blessings to those, to those distributes ills; + To most he mingles both: the wretch decreed + To taste the bad, unmixed, is curst indeed; + Pursu'd by wrongs, by meagre famine driven, + He wanders, outcast both of earth and heaven. + _Pope's Hom. Il._ XIV. ver. 863. + + +[20] Arne, of Covent Garden; the father of Dr. Thomas Arne, the +musician, composer, and dramatic writer, who died in 1778. + +[21] One who sat on my right hand, and, as I found by his discourse, +had been in the West Indies, assured us 'that it would be a very easy +matter for the Protestants to beat the Pope at sea;' and added, 'that +whenever such a war does break out, it must turn to the good of the +Leeward Isles.' Upon this, one who, as I afterwards found, was the +geographer of the company, told us for our comfort 'that there were +vast tracts of lands about the pole, inhabited by neither Protestants +nor Papists, and of greater extent than all the Roman Catholic +dominions in Europe.' + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE EARLY +ESSAYISTS--_Continued._ + + Extracts of Characteristic Passages from the Works of 'The + Humourists,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated with Original + Marginal Sketches by the Author's Hand -- The Series of THE + 'GUARDIAN,' 1713 -- Introduction -- Steele's Programme -- Authors + who contributed to the 'Guardian' -- Paragraphs and Pencillings. + + +INTRODUCTION TO THE 'GUARDIAN.' + + [Illustration] + +The seventh volume of the 'Spectator,' originally intended to be the +last, was concluded Dec. 6, 1712, and the first paper of the +'Guardian' made its appearance March 12, 1713. This work had been +actually projected by Steele before the conclusion of the 'Spectator.' +In a letter to Pope, dated Nov. 12, 1712, he thus announces his +intention: 'I desire you would let me know whether you are at leisure +or not. I have a design which I shall open in a month or two hence, +with the assistance of a few like yourself. If your thoughts are +unengaged, I shall explain myself further.' + +It appears that Steele undertook this work without any previous +concert with his illustrious colleague, and that he pursued it for +many weeks with vigour and assiduity, and with very little assistance +from his friends or from the letter-box. + +The views of our essayists in the choice of a name have been either to +select one that did not pledge them to any particular plan, or one +that expressed humility, or promised little, and might afterwards +excite an agreeable surprise by its unexpected fertility. Of the +former class are the 'Spectator,' 'World,' 'Mirror;' of the latter +class are the 'Tatler,' 'Rambler,' 'Idler,' 'Adventurer,' &c. The +'Connoisseur' is a name of some danger, because of great promise; and +the 'Guardian' might perhaps have been liable to the same objection, +if 'Nestor Ironside' had not tempered the austerity of the preceptor +with the playfulness of the friend and companion, and partaken of the +amusements of his pupils while he provided for their instruction. And +with respect to his 'literary speculations, as well as his merriment +and burlesque,' we may surely allow him some latitude, when we +consider that the public at large were put under his guardianship, and +that the demand for variety became consequently more extensive. The +'Guardian'--which was in effect a continuation of the 'Spectator' +under another name--was published daily until Oct. 1, 1713, No. 175, +when it was abruptly closed by Steele, in consequence of a quarrel +between him and Tonson, the bookseller. Pope informs us that Steele +stood engaged to his publisher in articles of penalty for all the +'Guardians;' and by desisting two days, and altering the title of the +paper, was quit of the obligation. Steele started the 'Englishman,' +which was printed for Buckley, with a view of carrying his politics +into a new paper in which they might be in place. Steele behaved +vindictively to Tonson, and ruthlessly destroyed the original +publisher's legitimate rights of proprietorship in the joint +enterprise by advertising the 'Englishman' _as the sequel_ of the +'Guardian.' + +In his first paper he likewise declared that he had 'for valuable +considerations purchased the lion[22] (frequently alluded to in the +papers), desk, pen, ink, and paper, and all other goods of Nestor +Ironside, Esq., who had thought fit to write no more himself.' + +Whatever stormy circumstances, declares Dr. Chalmers, attended the +conclusion, it appears that Steele came prepared for the commencement +of the 'Guardian,' with more industry and richer stores than usual. He +wrote a great many papers in succession, with very little assistance +from his contemporaries. Addison, for what reason is not very +obvious, unless he was then looking to higher employment, did not make +his appearance until No. 67, nor, with one exception, did he again +contribute until No. 97, when he proceeds without interruption for +twenty-seven numbers, during which time Steele's affairs are said to +have been embarrassed. Steele's share amounts to seventy-one papers, +written in his happiest vein. Addison wrote fifty-one papers, and +generally with his accustomed excellence; but it may perhaps be +thought that there is a greater proportion of serious matter, and more +frequent use made of the letter-box, than was usual with this author. + +The contributors to the 'Guardian' were not numerous. The first for +quality and value was the celebrated Bishop of Cloyne, Dr. George +Berkeley, a man so uniformly amiable as to be ranked among the first +of human beings; a writer sometimes so absurd that it has been doubted +whether it was possible he could be serious in the principles he has +laid down. His actions manifested the warmest zeal for the interests +of Christianity, while some of his writings seemed intended to assist +the cause of infidelity. The respect of those who knew Dr. Berkeley, +and his own excellent character, have rescued his name from the +imputations to which his writings may have given occasion; and to +posterity he will be deservedly handed down as an able champion of +religion, although infected with an incurable love of paradox, and +somewhat tainted with the pride of philosophy, which his better sense +could not restrain. + +Dr. Berkeley's share in the 'Guardian' has been ascertained, partly on +the authority of his son, who claimed Nos. 3, 27, 35, 39, 49, 55, 62, +70, 77, and 126, and partly on that of the annotators, who added to +these Nos. 83, 88, and 89. + +It is asserted, on unquestionable authority, that Dr. Berkeley had a +guinea and a dinner with Steele for every paper he furnished. This is +the only circumstance that has come to light respecting the payment +received by the assistants in any of these works. In the 'Spectator' +it is probable that Addison and Steele were joint sharers or +proprietors. In the case of the 'Guardian,' as already noticed, there +was a contract between Steele and Tonson, the nature of which has not +been clearly explained. + +Pope's share of the 'Guardian' can be traced with some degree of +certainty, and at least eight papers can be confidently assigned to +his pen, which entitle him to the very highest praise as an essayist. +These are Nos. 4, 11, 40, 61, 78, 91, 92, and 173. + + +No. 10. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_March 23, 1713._ + + Venit ad me saepe clamitans ---- + Vestitu nimium indulges, nimium ineptus es, + Nimium ipse est durus praeter aequumque et bonum. + _Ter. Adelph._ + +_'To the "Guardian."_ + + 'Oxford, 1712. + +'Sir,--I foresee that you will have many correspondents in this place; +but as I have often observed, with grief of heart, that scholars are +wretchedly ignorant in the science I profess, I flatter myself that my +letter will gain a place in your papers. I have made it my study, sir, +in these seats of learning, to look into the nature of dress, and am +what they call an _academical beau_. I have often lamented that I am +obliged to wear a grave habit, since by that means I have not an +opportunity to introduce fashions amongst our young gentlemen; and so +am forced, contrary to my own inclinations, and the expectation of all +who know me, to appear in print. I have indeed met with some success +in the projects I have communicated to some sparks with whom I am +intimate, and I cannot, without a secret triumph, confess that the +sleeves turned up with green velvet, which now flourish throughout the +university, sprung originally from my invention. + + [Illustration] + +'As it is necessary to have the head clear, as well as the complexion, +to be perfect in this part of learning, I rarely mingle with the men +(for I abhor wine), but frequent the tea-tables of the ladies. I know +every part of their dress, and can name all their things by their +names. I am consulted about every ornament they buy; and, I speak it +without vanity, have a very pretty fancy to knots and the like. +Sometimes I take a needle and spot a piece of muslin for pretty Patty +Cross-stitch, who is my present favourite; which, she says, I do +neatly enough; or read one of your papers and explain the motto, which +they all like mightily. But then I am a sort of petty tyrant among +them, for I own I have my humours. If anything be amiss, they are sure +Mr. Sleek will find fault; if any hoity-toighty things make a fuss, +they are sure to be taken to pieces the next visit. I am the dread of +poor Celia, whose wrapping gown is not right India; and am avoided by +Thalestris in her second-hand manteau, which several masters of arts +think very fine, whereas I discovered with half an eye that it had +been scoured. + + * * * * * + +'Though every man cannot fill his head with learning, it is in +anyone's power to wear a pretty periwig; he who hath no knack at +writing sonnets, may however have a soft hand; and he may arch his +eye-brows, who hath not strength of genius for the mathematics. + + 'SIMON SLEEK.' + + +No. 22. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_April 6, 1713._ + + My next desire is, void of care and strife, + To lead a soft, secure, inglorious life; + A country cottage near a crystal flood, + A winding valley, and a lofty wood. + + [Illustration] + +'Pastoral poetry not only amuses the fancy most delightfully, but it +is likewise more indebted to it than any other sort whatever. It +transports us into a kind of fairy-land, where our ears are soothed +with the melody of birds, bleating flocks and purling streams; our +eyes are enchanted with flowery meadows and springing greens; we are +laid under cool shades, and entertained with all the sweets and +freshness of nature. It is a dream, it is a vision, which may be real, +and we believe that it is true. + +'Another characteristic of a shepherd is simplicity of manners, or +innocence. This is so obvious that it would be but repetition to +insist long upon it. I shall only remind the reader, that as the +pastoral life is supposed to be where nature is not much depraved, +sincerity and truth will generally run through it. Some slight +transgressions, for the sake of variety, may be admitted, which in +effect will only serve to set off the simplicity of it in general. I +cannot better illustrate this rule than by the following example of a +swain who found his mistress asleep:-- + + Once Delia slept, on easy moss reclined, + Her lovely limbs half bare, and rude the wind; + I smooth'd her coats, and stole a silent kiss; + Condemn me, shepherds, if I did amiss. + +'A third sign of a swain is, that something of religion, and even +superstition, is part of his character. For we find that those who +have lived easy lives in the country, and contemplate the works of +nature, live in the greatest awe of their author; nor doth this humour +prevail less now than of old. Our peasants as sincerely believe the +tales of goblins and fairies as the heathens those of fawns, nymphs, +and satyrs. Hence we find the works of Virgil and Theocritus sprinkled +with left-handed ravens, blasted oaks, witchcrafts, evil eyes, and the +like. And I observe with great pleasure, that our English author of +the pastorals I have quoted hath practised this secret with admirable +judgment.' + + +No. 29. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_April 14, 1713._ + + Ride si sapis--_Mart. Epig._ + + Laugh if you're wise. + +'In order to look into any person's temper I generally make my first +observation upon his laugh; whether he is easily moved, and what are +the passages which throw him into that agreeable kind of convulsion. +People are never so unguarded as when they are pleased; and laughter +being a visible symptom of some inward satisfaction, it is then, if +ever, we may believe the face. It may be remarked in general under +this head, that the laugh of men of wit is, for the most part, but a +faint, constrained kind of half laugh, as such persons are never +without some diffidence about them; but that of fools is the most +honest, natural, open laugh in the world. + +'As the playhouse affords us the most occasions of observing upon the +behaviour of the face, it may be useful (for the direction of those +who would be critics this way) to remark, that the virgin ladies +usually dispose themselves in front of the boxes; the young married +women compose the second row; while the rear is generally made up of +mothers of long standing, undesigning maids, and contented widows. +Whoever will cast his eye upon them under this view, during the +representation of a play, will find me so far in the right that a +_double entendre_ strikes the first row into an affected gravity, or +careless indolence; the second will venture at a smile; but the third +take the conceit entirely, and express their mirth in a downright +laugh. + +'When I descend to particulars, I find the reserved prude will relapse +into a smile at the extravagant freedoms of the coquette, the coquette +in her turn laughs at the starchness and awkward affectation of the +prude; the man of letters is tickled with the vanity and ignorance of +the fop, and the fop confesses his ridicule at the unpoliteness of the +pedant. + +'I fancy we may range the several kinds of laughers under the +following heads:-- + + The Dimplers, The Laughers, + The Smilers, The Grinners, + The Horse-laughers. + +'The Dimple is practised to give a grace to the features, and is +frequently made a bait to entangle a gazing lover. This was called by +the ancients the Chian laugh. + + [Illustration] + +'The Smile is for the most part confined to the fair sex, and their +male retinue. It expresses our satisfaction in a silent sort of +approbation, doth not too much disorder the features, and is practised +by lovers of the most delicate address. This tender motion of the +physiognomy the ancients called the Ionic laugh. + +'The Laugh among us is the common _risus_ of the ancients. + +'The Grin, by writers of antiquity, is called the Syncrusian, and was +then, as it is at this time, made use of to display a beautiful set of +teeth. + +'The Horse-laugh, or the Sardonic, is made use of with great success +in all kinds of disputation. The proficients in this kind, by a +well-timed laugh, will baffle the most solid argument. This upon all +occasions supplies the want of reason, is always received with great +applause in coffee-house disputes; and that side the laugh joins with +is generally observed to gain the better of his antagonist. + +'The prude hath a wonderful esteem for the Chian laugh, or Dimple; she +looks upon all the other kinds of laughter as excesses of levity, and +is never seen upon the most extravagant jests to disorder her +countenance with the ruffle of a smile. Her lips are composed with a +primness peculiar to her character; all her modesty seems collected +into her face, and she but very rarely takes the freedom to sink her +cheek into a dimple. + +'The coquette is a proficient in laughter, and can run through the +whole exercise of the features. She subdues the formal lover with the +dimple, accosts the fop with the smile, joins with the wit in the +downright laugh; to vary the air of her countenance frequently rallies +with the grin; and when she has ridiculed her lover quite out of his +understanding, to complete his misfortune, strikes him dumb with the +horse-laugh.' + + +No. 34. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_April 20, 1713._ + + Mores multorum vidit.--_Hor._ + He many men and many manners saw. + +'I happened to fall in with a circle of young ladies very lately, at +their afternoon tea, when the conversation ran upon fine gentlemen. +From the several characters that were given, and the exceptions that +were made, as this or that gentleman happened to be named, I found +that a lady is not difficult to be pleased, and that the town swarms +with fine gentlemen. A nimble pair of heels, a smooth complexion, a +full-bottomed wig, a laced shirt, an embroidered suit, a pair of +fringed gloves, a hat and feather, alike, one and all, ennoble a man, +and raise him above the vulgar in female imagination. + + [Illustration] + +'I could not forbear smiling at one of the prettiest and liveliest of +this gay assembly, who excepted to the gentility of Sir William +Hearty, because he wore a frieze coat, and breakfasted upon toast and +ale. I pretended to admire the fineness of her taste, and to strike in +with her in ridiculing those awkward healthy gentlemen who seek to +make nourishment the chief end of eating. I gave her an account of an +honest Yorkshire gentleman, who, when I was a traveller, used to +invite his acquaintances at Paris to break their fast with him upon +cold roast beef and mum. There was, I remember, a little French +marquis, who was often pleased to rally him unmercifully upon beef and +pudding, of which our countryman would despatch a pound or two with +great alacrity, while his antagonist was picking at a mushroom or the +haunch of a frog. I could perceive the lady was pleased with what I +said, and we parted very good friends, by virtue of a maxim I always +observe, never to contradict or reason with a sprightly female. I went +home, however, full of a great many serious reflections upon what had +passed; and though in complaisance I disguised my sentiments, to keep +up the good humour of my fair companions, and to avoid being looked +upon as a testy old fellow; yet, out of the good-will I bear the sex, +and to prevent for the future their being imposed upon by +counterfeits, I shall give them the distinguishing marks of a true +fine gentleman. + + * * * * * + +'ADVERTISEMENT. + +_'For the Benefit of my Female Readers._ + +'N.B.--The gilt chariot, the diamond ring, the gold snuff-box, and +brocade sword-knot are no essential parts of a fine gentleman; but may +be used by him, provided he casts his eye upon them but once a day.' + + +No. 44. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_May 1, 1713._ + + This path conducts us to the Elysian fields. + +'I have frequently observed in the walks belonging to all the inns of +court, a set of old fellows who appear to be humourists, and wrapped +up in themselves. I am very glad to observe that these sages of this +peripatetic sect study tranquillity and indolence of body and mind in +the neighbourhood of so much contention as is carried on among the +students of Littleton. Now these, who are the jest of such as take +themselves, and the world usually takes to be in prosperity, are the +very persons whose happiness, were it understood, would be looked upon +with burning envy. + + [Illustration] + +'I fell into the discovery of them in the following manner: One day +last summer, being particularly under the dominion of the spleen, I +resolved to soothe my melancholy in the company of such, whose +appearance promised a full return of any complaints I could possibly +utter. Living near Gray's Inn walks, I went thither in search of the +persons above described, and found some of them seated upon a bench, +where, as Milton sings-- + + The unpierced shade imbrown'd their noontide bow'r. + +'I squeezed in among them; and they did not only receive my moanings +with singular humanity, but gave me all possible encouragement to +enlarge them. If the blackness of my spleen raised an imaginary +distemper of body, some one of them immediately sympathised with me. +If I spake of any disappointment in my fortune, another of them would +abate my sorrowing by recounting to me his own defeat upon the very +same circumstances. If I touched upon overlooked merit, the whole +assembly seemed to condole with me very feelingly upon that +particular. In short, I could not make myself so calamitous in mind, +body, or circumstances, but some one of them was upon a level with +me. When I had wound up my discourse, and was ripe for their intended +raillery, at first they crowned my narration with several piteous +sighs and groans; but after a short pause, and a signal given for the +onset, they burst out into a most incomprehensible fit of laughter. +You may be sure I was notably out of countenance, which gave occasion +to a second explosion of the same mirth. What troubled me most was, +that their figure, age, and short sword preserved them from any +imputation of cowardice upon refusal of battle, and their number from +insult. I had now no other way to be upon good terms with them, but +desiring I might be admitted into this fraternity. This was at first +vigorously opposed, it being objected to me that I affected too much +the appearance of a happy man to be received into a society so proud +of appearing the most afflicted. However, as I only seemed to be what +they really were, I am admitted, by way of triumph, upon probation for +a year; and if within that time it shall be possible for them to +infuse any of their gaiety into me, I can, at Monmouth Street, upon +mighty easy terms, purchase the robes necessary for my instalment into +this order; and when they have made me as happy, shall be willing to +appear as miserable, as any of this assembly.' + + +No. 60. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_May 20, 1713._ + + Nihil legebat quod non excerperet.--_Plin._ + He picked something out of everything he read. + + [Illustration] + +'There is nothing in which men deceive themselves more ridiculously +than in point of reading, and which, as it is constantly practised +under the notion of improvement, has less advantage. + +'When I was sent to Oxford, my chiefest expense ran upon books, and my +only expense upon numbers; so that you may be sure I had what they +call a choice collection, sometimes buying by the pound, sometimes by +the dozen, at others by the hundred. + +'As I always held it necessary to read in public places, by way of +ostentation, but could not possibly travel with a library in my +pockets, I took the following method to gratify this errantry of mine. +I contrived a little pocket-book, each leaf of which was a different +author, so that my wandering was indulged and concealed within the +same enclosure. + +'This extravagant humour, which should seem to pronounce me +irrecoverable, had the contrary effect; and my hand and eye being thus +confined to a single book, in a little time reconciled me to the +perusal of a single author. However, I chose such a one as had as +little connection as possible, turning to the Proverbs of Solomon, +where the best instructions are thrown together in the most beautiful +range imaginable, and where I found all that variety which I had +before sought in so many different authors, and which was so necessary +to beguile my attention. By these proper degrees I have made so +glorious a reformation in my studies that I can keep company with +Tully in his most extended periods, and work through the continued +narrations of the most prolix historian. I now read nothing without +making exact collections, and shall shortly give the world an instance +of this in the publication of the following discourses. The first is a +learned controversy about the existence of griffins, in which I hope +to convince the world that notwithstanding such a mixed creature has +been allowed by AElian, Solinus, Mela, and Herodotus, that they have +been perfectly mistaken in the matter, and shall support myself by the +authority of Albertus, Pliny, Aldrovandus, and Matthias Michovius; +which two last have clearly argued that animal out of the creation. + +'The second is a treatise of sternutation or sneezing, with the +original custom of saluting or blessing upon that motion; as also with +a problem from Aristotle, showing why sneezing from noon to night was +innocent enough; from night to noon, extremely unfortunate. + +'The third and most curious is my discourse upon the nature of the +lake Asphaltites, or the lake of Sodom; being a very careful enquiry +whether brickbats and iron will swim in that lake, and feathers sink, +as Pliny and Mandevil have averred. + +'The discussing these difficulties without perplexity or prejudice, +the labour of collecting and collating matters of this nature, will, +I hope, in a great measure atone for the idle hours I have trifled +away in matters of less importance.' + + +No. 77. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_June 9, 1713._ + + Certum voto pete finem.--_Hor. Ep._ + To wishes fix an end.--_Creech._ + + [Illustration] + +'The same weakness, or defect in the mind, from whence pedantry takes +its rise, does likewise give birth to avarice. Words and money are +both to be regarded as only marks of things; and as the knowledge of +the one, so the possession of the other is of no use, unless directed +to a farther end. A mutual commerce could not be carried on among men, +if some common standard had not been agreed upon, to which the value +of all the various productions of art and nature were reducible, and +which might be of the same use in the conveyance of property as words +are in that of ideas. Gold, by its beauty, scarceness, and durable +nature, seems designed by Providence to a purpose so excellent and +advantageous to mankind. Upon these considerations that metal came +first into esteem. But such who cannot see beyond what is nearest in +the pursuit, beholding mankind touched with an affection for gold, and +being ignorant of the true reason that introduced this odd passion +into human nature, imagine some intrinsic worth in the metal to be the +cause of it. Hence the same men who, had they been turned towards +learning, would have employed themselves in laying up words in their +memory, are by a different application employed to as much purpose in +treasuring up gold in their coffers. They differ only in the object; +the principle on which they act, and the inward frame of mind, is the +same in the critic and the miser.' + + +No. 84. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_June 17, 1713._ + + Non missura cutem nisi plena cruoris hirudo.--_Hor._ + Sticking like leeches, till they burst with blood.--_Roscommon._ + +'_To Nestor Ironside, Esq._ + +'Sir,--Presuming you may sometimes condescend to take cognisance of +small enormities, I lay one here before you without farther apology. + + [Illustration] + +'There is a silly habit among many of our minor orators, who display +their eloquence in the several coffee-houses of this fair city, to the +no small annoyance of considerable numbers of her Majesty's spruce and +loving subjects, and that is, a humour they have got of twisting off +your buttons. These ingenious gentlemen are not able to advance three +words till they have got fast hold of one of your buttons; but as soon +as they have procured such an excellent handle for discourse, they +will indeed proceed with great elocution. I know not how well some may +have escaped; but for my part, I have often met with them to my cost; +having, I believe, within these three years last past, been argued out +of several dozen; insomuch that I have for some time ordered my tailor +to bring me home with every suit a dozen at least of spare ones, to +supply the place of such as, from time to time, are detached as a help +to discourse, by the vehement gentlemen before mentioned. In the +coffee-houses here about the Temple, you may harangue even among our +dabblers in politics for about two buttons a-day, and many times for +less. I had yesterday the good fortune to receive very considerable +additions to my knowledge in state affairs; and I find this morning +that it has not stood me in above a button. Besides the gentlemen +before mentioned, there are others who are no less active in their +harangues, but with gentle services rather than robberies. These, +while they are improving your understanding, are at the same time +setting off your person: they will new plait and adjust your +neckcloth. + +'I am of opinion that no orator or speaker in public or private has +any right to meddle with anybody's clothes but his own. I indulge men +in the liberty of playing with their own hats, fumbling in their own +pockets, settling their own periwigs, tossing or twisting their heads, +and all other gesticulations which may contribute to their elocution, +but pronounce it an infringement of the English liberty, for a man to +keep his neighbour's person in custody in order to force a hearing; +and farther declare, that all assent given by an auditor under such +constraint is of itself void and of no effect.' + + +No. 92. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_June 26, 1713._ + + Homunculi quanti sunt, cum recognito!--_Plautus._ + Now I recollect, how considerable are these little men. + +'The most eminent persons of our club are, a little poet, a little +lover, a little politician, and a little hero. + + [Illustration] + +'Tom Tiptoe, a dapper little fellow, is the most gallant lover of the +age. He is particularly nice in his habiliments; and to the end +justice may be done in that way, constantly employs the same artist +who makes attire for the neighbouring princes, and ladies of quality. +The vivacity of his temper inclines him sometimes to boast of the +favours of the fair. He was the other night excusing his absence from +the club on account of an assignation with a lady (and, as he had the +vanity to tell us, a tall one too), but one of the company, who was +his confidant, assured us she was a woman of humour, and consented she +would permit him to kiss her, but only on the condition that his toe +must be tied to hers.' + + +No. 100. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_July 6, 1713._ + + If snowy-white your neck, you still should wear + That, and the shoulder of the left arm, bare; + Such sights ne'er fail to fire my am'rous heart, + And make me pant to kiss the naked part.--_Congreve._ + + [Illustration] + +'There is a certain female ornament, by some called a _tucker_, and by +others the _neckpiece_, being a slip of fine linen or muslin, that +used to run in a small kind of ruffle round the uppermost verge of the +women's stays, and by that means covered a great part of the shoulders +and bosom. Having thus given a definition, or rather description, of +the tucker, I must take notice, that our ladies have of late thrown +aside this fig-leaf, and exposed in its primitive nakedness that +gentle swelling of the breast which it was used to conceal. + +'If we survey the pictures of our great-grandmothers in Queen +Elizabeth's time, we see them clothed down to the very wrists, and up +to the very chin. The hands and face were the only samples they gave +of their beautiful persons. The following age of females made larger +discoveries of their complexion. They first of all tucked up their +garments to the elbow; and, notwithstanding the tenderness of the sex, +were content, for the information of mankind, to expose their arms to +the coldness of the air, and injuries of the weather. This artifice +hath succeeded to their wishes, and betrayed many to their arms, who +might have escaped them had they been still concealed. + +'About the same time, the ladies considering that the neck was a very +modest part in a human body, they freed it from those yokes, I mean +those monstrous linen ruffs in which the simplicity of their +grandmothers had enclosed it. In proportion as the age refined, the +dress still sunk lower; so that when we now say a woman has a handsome +neck, we reckon into it many of the adjacent parts. The disuse of the +tucker has still enlarged it, insomuch that the neck of a fine woman +at present takes in almost half the body.' + + +No. 114. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_July 22, 1713._ + + Take the hives, and fall to work upon the honeycombs; the + drones refuse, the bees accept the proposal. + + [Illustration] + +'I think myself obliged to acquaint the public that the lion's head, +of which I advertised them about a fortnight ago, is now erected at +Button's coffee-house, in Russell Street, Covent Garden, where it +opens its mouth at all hours for the reception of such intelligence as +shall be thrown into it. It is reckoned an excellent piece of +workmanship, and was designed by a great hand in imitation of the +antique Egyptian lion, the face of it being compounded out of that of +a lion and a wizard. The features are strong and well furrowed. The +whiskers are admired by all that have seen them. It is planted on the +western side of the coffee-house, holding its paws under the chin upon +a box, which contains everything that he swallows. He is indeed a +proper emblem of knowledge and action, being all head and paws. + +'I need not acquaint my readers that my lion, like a moth or bookworm, +feeds upon nothing but paper, and shall only beg of them to diet him +with wholesome and substantial food. I must therefore desire that they +will not gorge him either with nonsense or obscenity; and must +likewise insist that his mouth must not be defiled with scandal, for I +would not make use of him to revile the human species, and satirise +those who are his betters. I shall not suffer him to worry any man's +reputation; nor indeed fall on any person whatsoever, such only +excepted as disgrace the name of this generous animal, and under the +title of lions contrive the ruin of their fellow-subjects. Those who +read the history of the Popes, observe that the Leos have been the +best and the Innocents the worst of that species; and I hope I shall +not be thought to derogate from my lion's character, by representing +him as such a peaceable, good-natured, well-designing beast.' + + +No. 129. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_Aug. 8, 1713._ + + And part with life, only to wound their foe. + +'The "Guardian" prints the following genuine letters to enlighten +readers on the cool and deliberate preparation men of honour have +beforetime made for murdering one another under the convenient +pretences of duelling:-- + +'"A Monsieur Sackville,--I that am in France hear how much you +attribute to yourself in this time, that I have given the world leave +to ring your praises.... If you call to memory, whereas I gave you my +hand last, I told you I reserved the heart for a truer reconciliation. +Be master of your own weapons and time; the place wheresoever I will +wait on you. By doing this you shall shorten revenge, and clear the +idle opinion the world hath of both our worths. + + ED. BRUCE." + + [Illustration] + +'"A Monsieur le Baron de Kinloss,--As it shall be always far from me +to seek a quarrel, so will I always be ready to meet with any that +desire to make trial of my valour by so fair a course as you require. +A witness whereof yourself shall be, who within a month shall receive +a strict account of time, place, and weapon, where you shall find me +ready disposed to give you honourable satisfaction by him that shall +conduct you thither. In the meantime be as secret of the appointment +as it seems you are desirous of it. + + ED. SACKVILLE." + + '"Tergosa: August 10, 1613. + +'"A Monsieur le Baron de Kinloss,--I am ready at Tergosa, a town in +Zealand, to give you that satisfaction your sword can tender you, +accompanied with a worthy gentleman for my second, in degree a knight; +and for your coming I will not limit you a peremptory day, but desire +you to make a definite and speedy repair, for your own honour, and +fear of prevention, until which time you shall find me there. + + ED. SACKVILLE." + +'"A Monsieur Sackville,--I have received your letter by your man, and +acknowledge you have dealt nobly with me; and now I come with all +possible haste to meet you. + + ED. BRUCE."' + + +No. 140. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_Aug. 21, 1713._ + + A sight might thaw old Priam's frozen age, + And warm e'en Nestor into amorous rage. + +'_To Pope Clement VIII. Nestor Ironside, Greeting._ + + [Illustration] + +'I have heard, with great satisfaction, that you have forbidden your +priests to confess any woman who appears before them without a tucker; +in which you please me well. I do agree with you that it is impossible +for a good man to discharge his office as he ought, who gives an ear +to those alluring penitents that discover their hearts and necks to +him at the same time. I am labouring, as much as in me lies, to stir +up the same spirit of modesty among the women of this island, and +should be glad we might assist one another in so good a work. In order +to it, I desire that you would send me over the length of a Roman +lady's neck, as it stood before your late prohibition. We have some +here who have necks of one, two, and three feet in length; some that +have necks which reach down to their middles; and, indeed, some who +may be said to be all neck, and no body. I hope at the same time you +observe the stays of your female subjects, that you have also an eye +to their petticoats, which rise in this island daily. When the +petticoat reaches but to the knee, and the stays fall to the fifth rib +(which I hear is to be the standard of each as it has been lately +settled in a junto of the sex), I will take care to send you one of +either sort, which I advertise you of beforehand, that you may not +compute the stature of our English women from the length of their +garments. In the meantime, I have desired the master of a vessel, who +tells me that he shall touch at Civita Vecchia, to present you with a +certain female machine, which I believe will puzzle your infallibility +to discover the use of it. Not to keep you in suspense, it is what we +call, in this country, a hooped petticoat. I shall only beg of you to +let me know whether you find any garment of this nature among all the +relics of your female saints; and, in particular, whether it was ever +worn by any of your twenty thousand virgin martyrs. + + 'Yours, _usque ad aras_, + 'NESTOR IRONSIDE.' + + +No. 153. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_Sept. 5, 1713._ + + A mighty pomp, tho' made of little things.--_Dryden._ + +'If there be anything which makes human nature appear ridiculous to +beings of superior faculties it must be pride. They know so well the +vanity of those imaginary perfections that swell the heart of man, and +of those little supernumerary advantages, whether of birth, fortune, +or title, which one man enjoys above another, that it must certainly +very much astonish, if it does not very much divert them, when they +see a mortal puffed up, and valuing himself above his neighbours on +any of these accounts, at the same time that he is obnoxious to all +the common calamities of the species. + +'To set this thought in its true light, we will fancy, if you please, +that yonder molehill is inhabited by reasonable creatures, and that +every pismire (his shape and way of life only excepted) is endowed +with human passions. How should we smile to hear one give us an +account of the pedigrees, distinctions, and titles that reign among +them! Observe how the whole swarm divide and make way for the pismire +that passes through them! You must understand he is an emmet of +quality, and has better blood in his veins than any pismire in the +molehill. Do not you see how sensible he is of it, how slow he marches +forward, how the whole rabble of ants keep their distance? Here you +may observe one placed upon a little eminence, and looking down on a +long row of labourers. He is the richest insect on this side the +hillock; he has a walk of half a yard in length, and a quarter of an +inch in breadth; he keeps a hundred menial servants, and has at least +fifteen barleycorns in his granary. He is now chiding and beslaving +the emmet that stands before him, and who, for all that we can +discover, is as good an emmet as himself. + + [Illustration] + +'But here comes an insect of figure! Do not you take notice of a +little white straw that he carries in his mouth? That straw, you must +understand, he would not part with for the longest track about the +molehill; did you but know what he has undergone to purchase it. See +how the ants of all qualities and conditions swarm about him. Should +this straw drop out of his mouth, you would see all this numerous +circle of attendants follow the next that took it up, and leave the +discarded insect, or run over his back to come at his successor.' + + +No. 167. THE 'GUARDIAN.'--_Sept. 22, 1713._ + + Fata viam invenient.--_Virg._ + Fate the way will find. + +The following story is translated from an Arabian manuscript:-- + +'"The name of Helim is still famous through all the Eastern parts of +the world. He was the Governor of the Black Palace, a man of infinite +wisdom, and chief of the physicians to Alnareschin, the great King of +Persia. + +'"Alnareschin was the most dreadful tyrant that ever reigned over that +country. He was of a fearful, suspicious, and cruel nature, having put +to death, upon slight surmises, five-and-thirty of his queens, and +above twenty sons, whom he suspected of conspiring. Being at length +wearied with the exercise of so many cruelties, and fearing the whole +race of Caliphs would be extinguished, he sent for Helim, the good +physician, and confided his two remaining sons, Ibrahim and Abdallah, +then mere infants, to his charge, requesting him to bring them up in +virtuous retirement. Helim had an only child, a girl of noble soul, +and a most beautiful person. Abdallah, whose mind was of a more tender +turn than that of Ibrahim, grew by degrees so enamoured of her +conversation that he did not think he lived unless in the company of +his beloved Balsora. + +'"The fame of her beauty was so great that it came to the ears of the +king, who, pretending to visit the young princes, his sons, demanded +of Helim the sight of his fair daughter. The king was so inflamed with +her beauty and behaviour that he sent for Helim the next morning, and +told him it was now his design to recompense him for all his faithful +services, and that he intended to make his daughter Queen of Persia. + +'"Helim, who remembered the fate of the former queens, and who was +also acquainted with the secret love of Abdallah, contrived to +administer a sleeping draught to his daughter, and announced to the +king that the news of his intention had overcome her. The king ordered +that as he had designed to wed Balsora, her body should be laid in the +Black Palace among those of his deceased queens. + +'"Abdallah soon fretted after his love, and Helim administered a +similar potion to his ward, and he was laid in the same tomb. Helim, +having charge of the Black Palace, awaited their revival, and then +secretly supplied them with sustenance, and finally contrived, by +dressing them as spirits, to convey them away from this sepulchre, and +concealed them in a palace which had been bestowed on him by the king +in reward for his recovering him from a dangerous illness. + +'"About ten years after their abode in this place the old king died. +The new king, Ibrahim, being one day out hunting, and separated from +his company, found himself, almost fainting with heat and thirst, at +the foot of Mount Khacan, and, ascending the hill, he arrived at +Helim's house and requested refreshments. Helim was, very luckily, +there at that time, and after having set before the king the choicest +of wines and fruits, finding him wonderfully pleased with so +seasonable a treat, told him that the best part of his entertainment +was to come; upon which he opened to him the whole history of what had +passed. The king was at once astonished and transported at so strange +a relation, and seeing his brother enter the room with Balsora in his +hand, he leaped off from the sofa on which he sat, and cried out, +''Tis he! 'tis my Abdallah!' Having said this, he fell upon his neck +and wept. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'"Ibrahim offered to divide his empire with his brother, but, finding +the lovers preferred their retirement, he made them a present of all +the open country as far as they could see from the top of Mount +Khacan, which Abdallah continued to improve and beautify until it +became the most delicious spot of ground within the empire, and it is, +therefore, called the garden of Persia. + +'"Ibrahim, after a long and happy reign, died without children, and +was succeeded by Abdallah, the son of Abdallah and Balsora. This was +that King Abdallah who afterwards fixed the imperial residence upon +Mount Khacan, which continues at this time to be the favourite palace +of the Persian Empire."' + +FOOTNOTE: + +[22] The gilt lion's-head letter-box, used in the publication of the +'Guardian,' and then placed in Button's coffee-house, was afterwards +for many years at the Shakespeare tavern, in Covent Garden. The master +of this tavern becoming insolvent, the lion's head was sold among his +effects, Nov. 8, 1804, for L17 10s. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE EARLY +ESSAYISTS--_Continued._ + + Characteristic passages from the Works of Humorous Writers of the + 'Era of the Georges,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated with + original Marginal Sketches by the Author's hand -- THE + 'HUMOURIST,' 1724 -- Extracts and Pencillings. + + +THE 'HUMOURIST.' + +BEING ESSAYS UPON SEVERAL SUBJECTS: 'DEDICATED TO THE MAN IN THE +MOON.' + +LONDON, 1724-5. + +OF NEWS-WRITERS.[23] + + Quo virtus tua te vocat, i pede fausto.--_Hor. Ep._ II. l. 2. + +'As to the filling the paper with trifles and things of no +significancy, the instances of it are obvious and numerous. The French +king's losing a rotten tooth, and the surgeon's fee thereupon; a +duke's taking physic, and a magistrate's swearing a small oath, and a +poor thief's ravishing a knapsack, have all, in their turns, furnished +out deep matter for wit and eloquence to these vigilant writers, who +hawk for adventures. A man of quality cannot steal out of town for a +day or two, or return to it, without the attendance of a coach and six +horses, and a news-writer, who makes the important secret the burden +of his paper next day. I have observed, that if a man be but great or +rich, the most wretched occasion entitles him to fill a long paragraph +in print; the cutting of his corns for the purpose, or his playing at +ombre, never fails to merit publication. Now, if my _most diligent_ +brother-writers, who are spies upon the actions and cabinets of the +great, would go a little farther, and tell us when his grace or his +lordship broke his custom by keeping his word, or said a witty thing, +or did a generous one, we will freely own they tell us some news, and +will thank them for our pleasure and our surprise. + + [Illustration] + +'It is with concern, I see, that even the privacies of the poor ladies +cannot escape the eyes of these public searchers. How many great +ladies do they bring to bed every day of their lives! for poor madam +no sooner begins to make faces, and utter the least groan, but +instantly an author stands with his pen in his teeth, ready to hold +her back, and to tell the town whether the baby is boy or girl, before +the midwife has pulled off her spectacles, and described its _nose_.' + + +OF A COUNTRY ENTERTAINMENT. + +'I am led by the regard which I bear to the ladies and the Christmas +holidays to divert my readers with the history of an entertainment, +where I made one at the house of a country squire. + +'When I went in I found the dining-room full of ladies, to whom I made +a profound bow, and was repaid by a whole circle of curtsies. While I +was meditating, with my eyes fixed upon the fire, what I had best say, +I could hear one of them whisper to another, "I believe he thinks we +smoke tobacco;" for, my reader must know, I had omitted the country +fashion, and not kissed one of them. + +'At dinner we had many excuses from the lady of the house for _our +indifferent fare_, and she had as many declarations from us, her +guests, that _all was very good_. And the squire gave us the history +and extraction of every fowl that came to the table. He assured us +that his poultry had neither kindred nor allies anywhere on this side +of the Channel. + + [Illustration] + +'As soon as we were risen from the table, our great parliament of +females presently resolved themselves into committees of twos and +threes all over the dining-room, and I perceived that every party was +engaged in talking scandal. + +'The ladies then went into one parlour to their tea, and we men into +another to our bottle, over which I was entertained with many +ingenious remarks on the price of barley, on dairies and the +sheepfold. But as the most engaging conversation is, when too long, +sometimes cloying, having smoked my pipe in due silence and attention, +I took a trip to the ladies, who had sent to know whether I would +drink some tea. When I made my entrance, the topic they were on was +religion, in their statements about which they were terribly divided, +and debated with such agitation and fervour, that I grew in pain for +the china cups. + +'But they happily departed from this warm point, and unanimously fell +backbiting their neighbours, which instantly qualified all their heat +and heartily reconciled them to one another, insomuch that all the +time the business of scandal was handling there was not one dissenting +voice to be heard in the whole assembly. + +'By this time the music was come, and happy was the woman that could +first wipe her mouth and be soonest upon her legs. In the dance some +moved very becomingly, but the majority made such a rattle on the +boards as quite drowned the music. This made me call to mind your +mettlesome horses, that dance on a pavement to the music of their own +heels. + + [Illustration] + +'We had among us the squire's eldest son, a batchelor and captain of +the militia. This honest gentleman, believing, as one would imagine, +that good humour and wit consisted in activity of body and thickness +of bone, was resolved to be very witty, that is to say, very strong; +he therefore not only threw down most of the women, and with abundance +of wit hauled them round the room, but gave us several farther proofs +of the sprightliness of his genius, by a great many leaps he made +about a yard high, always remembering to fall on somebody's toes. This +ingenious fancy was applauded by everyone, except the person who felt +it, who never happened to have complaisance enough to fall in with the +general laugh that was raised on that occasion. For my own part, who +am an occasional conformist to common custom, I was ashamed to be +singular, so I even extended my mouth into a smile, and put my face +into a laughing posture too. His mother, observing me to look pleased +with her son's activity and gay deportment, told me in my ear, "_he +was never worse company than I saw him_." To which I answered, "_I +vow, madam, I believe you_."' + + +OF THE SPLEEN. + +'In constitutions where this humorous distemper prevails, it is +surprising how trifling a matter will inflame it. + +'I shall never forget an ingenious doctor of physick, who was so +jealous of the honour of his whiskers, which he was pleased to +christen "the emblems of his virility," that he resolutely made the +sun shine through every unhappy cat that ill-fate threw in his way. He +magnanimously professed that his spirit could not brook it, that any +cat in Christendom, noble or ignoble, should rival the reputation of +his upper lip. In every other respect our physician was a well-bred +person, and, which is as wonderful, understood Latin. But we see the +deepest learning is no charm against the spleen.' + + [Illustration] + + +OF GHOSTS. + +'All sorts of people, when they get together, will find something to +talk of. News, politics, and stocks comprise the conversation of the +busy and trading world. Rakes and men of pleasure fight duels with men +they never spoke to, and betray women they never saw, and do twenty +fine feats over their cups which they never do anywhere else. And +children, servants, and old women, and others of the same size of +understanding, please and terrify themselves and one another with +spirits and goblins. In this case a ghost is no more than a help to +discourse. + +'A late very pious but very credulous bishop was relating a strange +story of a demon, that haunted a girl in Lothbury, to a company of +gentlemen in the City, when one of them told his lordship the +following adventure:-- + + [Illustration] + +'"As I was one night reading in bed, as my custom is, and all my +family were at rest, I heard a foot deliberately ascending the stairs, +and as it came nearer I heard something breathe. While I was musing +what it should be, three hollow knocks at my door made me ask who was +there, and instantly the door blew open." "Ah! sir, and pray what did +you see?" "My lord, I'll tell you. A tall thin figure stood before me, +with withered hair, and an earthly aspect; he was covered with a long +sooty garment, that descended to his ankles, and his waist was clasped +close within a broad leathern girdle. In one hand he held a black +staff taller than himself, and in the other a round body of pale +light, which shone feebly every way." "That's remarkable! pray, sir, +go on." "It beckoned to me, and I followed it down stairs, and there +it pointed to the door, and then left me, and made a hideous noise in +the street." "This is really odd and surprising; but, pray now, did it +give you no notice what it might particularly seek or aim at?" "Yes, +my lord, it was the watchman, who came to show me that my servants had +left all my doors open."' + + +OF KEEPING THE COMMANDMENTS. + +'I have been humbly of opinion for many years that the keeping of the +Ten Commandments was a matter not altogether unworthy of our +consideration and practice; and though I am of the same sentiments +still, yet I dare hardly publish them, knowing that if I am against +the world, the world will be against me. I must not affront modern +politeness and the common mode. + +'Who would have the boldness to mention the first commandment to +Matilda, when he has seen her curt'sying to herself in the glass, and +kissing her lap-dog, and worshipping these two _divine creatures_ from +morning till night? Nor is Matilda without other deities; she has +several sets of china, a diamond necklace, and a grey monkey; and, in +spite of her parents and her reason, she is guilty of will-worship to +Dick Noodle. But this last is no wonder at all, for Dick wears fine +brocade waistcoats and the best Mechlin, and no man of the age picks +his teeth with greater elegance. + + [Illustration] + +'And would it not be equally bold and barbarous to enslave a beau or a +bully with the tyranny of the third commandment? when it's well known +that these worthy gentlemen and brothers in understanding and courage +must either be dumb or damning themselves; and, therefore, to stop +their swearing would be to stop their breath, and gag them to all +eternity. Beau Wittol courts Arabella with great success, and it is +not doubted he will carry her, though he was never heard to make any +other speech or compliment to her than that of "Demme, madam!" after +which he squeezes her hand, takes snuff, and grins in her face with +wonderful wit and gaiety. Arabella smiles, and owns with her eyes her +admiration of these _accomplishments of a fine gentleman_.' + + +OF FLATTERY. + +'Flattery _is the art of selling wind for a round sum of ready money_. +A sycophant blows up the mind of his unhappy patient into a tympany, +and then, like other physicians, receives a fee for his poison. It is +his business to instruct men to mistake themselves at a great expense; +to shut their eyes, and then pay for being blind. Thus the end of +excelling in any art or profession is to have that excellence known +and admired. + +'Sing-song Nero, an ancestor of Mr. Tom d'Urfey, would, probably, +never have banished the sceptre and adopted the fiddle, but that he +found it much easier for his talents to scrape than to govern. In this +reign, he that had a musical ear, or could twist a catgut, was made a +man; and the fiddlers ruled the Roman empire by the singular merit of +condescending to be viler thrummers than the emperor himself. He who +at that time could but _wonder greatly_, and _gape artfully_ at his +Majesty's _royal skill_ in crowding, might be governor of a province, +or Lord High Treasurer, or what else he pleased. + + [Illustration] + +'This imperial piper used to go the circuit, and call the provinces +together, to be refreshed with a tune upon the fiddle, and if they had +the policy to smother a laugh, and raise an outrageous clap, their +taxes were paid, and they had whatever they asked; and so miserably +was this monarch and madman bewitched by himself and his sycophants +with the character of a victorious fiddler, that when he was abandoned +by God and man, and, as an enemy to mankind, sentenced to be whipped +to death, he did not grieve so much for the loss of his empire as the +loss of his fiddle. When he had no mortal left to flatter him, he +flattered himself, and his last words were, "_Qualis Artifex +pereo!_--What a brave scraper is lost in me!" And then he buried a +knife in his inside, and made his death the best action of his life!' + + +OF RETIREMENT. + +'To be absolute master of one's own time and actions is an instance of +liberty which is not found but in solitude. A man that lives in a +crowd is a slave, even though all that are about him fawn upon him and +give him the upper-hand. They call him master, or lord, and treat him +as such; but as they hinder him from doing what he otherwise would, +the title and homage which they pay him is flattery and +contradiction.[24] + + [Illustration] + +'I ever loved retirement, and detested crowds; I would rather pass an +afternoon amongst a herd of deer, than half an hour at a coronation; +and sooner eat a piece of apple-pie in a cottage, than dine with a +judge on the circuit. To lodge a night by myself in a cave would not +grieve me so much as living half a day in a fair. It will look a +little odd when I own that I have missed many a good sermon for no +other reason but that many others were to hear it as well as myself. +I have neither disliked the man, nor his principles, nor his +congregation, singly; but altogether I could not abide them. + +'I am, therefore, exceedingly happy in the solitude which I am now +enjoying. I frequently stand under a tree, and with great humanity +pity one half of the world, and with equal contempt laugh at the other +half. I shun the company of men, and seek that of oxen, and sheep, and +deer, and bushes; and when I can hide myself for the moiety of a day +from the sight of every creature but those that are dumb, I consider +myself as monarch of all that I see or tread upon, and fancy that +Nature smiles and the sun shines for my sake only. + +'My eyes at those seasons are the seat of pleasure, and I do not +interrupt their ranging by the impertinence of memory, or solicitude +of any kind. I neither look a day forward nor a day backward, but +voluptuously enjoy the present moment. My mind follows my senses, and +refuses all images which these do not then present.' + + +OF BUBBLES. + +'The world has often been ruled by men who were themselves ruled by +the worst qualities and most sordid views. The _prince_, says a great +French politician, _governs the people, and interest governs the +prince_. + +'Hence it comes to pass, that few men care how they rise in the world, +so they do but rise. They know that success expiates all rogueries, +and never misses reverence; and that he who was called villain or +murderer in the race, is often christened saint or hero at the goal. + +'The present possession of money or power is always a ready patent for +respect and submission. He that gets a hundred thousand pounds by a +bubble--that is, by selling a bag of wind to his credulous +countrymen--is a greater idol in every coffee-house in town than he +who is worth but ninety thousand, though acquired by honest trading or +ingenious arts, which profit mankind, and bring credit to his country; +and thus every South Sea cub shall, by the sole merit of his million, +vie for respect and followers with any lord in the land, though it +should strangely happen, as it sometimes does, that his lordship's +virtues and parts ennoble his title and quality. It matters not +whether your father was a tinker, and you, his worthy son, a broker or +a sharper, provided you be but a South Sea man. If you are but that, +the whole earth is your humble servant. + +'At present, nothing farther is necessary towards getting an +estate--that is, merit and respect--than a little money, much roguery, +and many lies. With what indignation have I beheld a peer of the realm +courting the good graces of a little haberdasher with great cash, and +begging a few shares in a bubble which the honourable Goodman Bever +had just then invented to cheat his fellow-citizens! + +'But exalted boobies being below satire, I shall here only consider a +little the mischiefs brought upon the public by the projects which +bring them their wealth. It is melancholy to consider that power +follows property, when we consider at the same time into what vile +hands the property is fallen, and by what vile means, even by bubbles +and direct cheating. + + [Illustration] + +'Of our second-hand bubbles, I blame not one more than another; their +name shows their nature. The "Great Bubble" of all set them an +example, and began first. By it immense fortunes have been got to +particular men, most of them obscure and unheard of; happy for their +own characters, and for the nation's trade, if they had still remained +so. I hope our all is not yet at the mercy of sharpers, ignorant, +mercenary sharpers; but I should be glad to see it proved that it will +not be so.' + + +OF TRAVELS. + +'As every man is in his own opinion fit to come abroad in print, so +every occasion that can put him upon prating to mankind is sufficient +to put his pen running, provided he himself can hold the principal +character in his own book. + +'Of all the several classes of scribblers, there is none more silly +than your authors of Travels. There are several things common to all +these travellers, and yet peculiar to every particular traveller. I +have at this time in my hands a little manuscript, entitled "Travels +from EXETER TO LONDON, with _proper observations_." By the sagacity +shown in the remarks, I take the author to be some polite squire of +Devon. In the following passages our traveller records his +observations in the great metropolis:-- + +'"In this great city people are quite another thing than what they are +out of it; insomuch, that he who will be very great with you in the +country, will scarce pull off his hat to you in London. I once dined +at Exeter with a couple of judges, and they talked to me _there_, and +drank my health, and we were very familiar together. So when I saw +them again passing through Westminster Hall, I was glad of it with all +my heart, and ran to them with a broad smile, to ask them how they +did, and to shake hands with them; but they looked at me so coldly and +so proudly as you cannot imagine, and did not seem to know me, at +which I was confounded, angry, and mad; but I kept my mind to myself. + + [Illustration] + +'"At another time I was at the playhouse (which is a rare place for +mirth, music, and dancing), and, being in the pit, saw in one of the +boxes a member of Parliament of our county, with whom I have been as +great as hand and glove; so being overjoyed to see him, I called to +him aloud by his name, and asked him how he did; but instead of +saluting me again, or making any manner of answer, he looked plaguy +sour, and never opened his mouth, though when he is in the country he +is as merry a grig as any in forty miles, and we have cracked many a +bottle together."' + + +OF EDUCATION. + +'People, put by their education into a narrow track of thinking, are +as much afraid of getting out of it as children of quitting their +leading-strings when first they learn to go. They are taught a raging +fondness for a parcel of names that are never explained to them; and +an implacable fierceness against another set of names that are never +explained to them; so they jog on in the heavy steps of their +forefathers, or in the wretched and narrow paths of poor-spirited and +ignorant pedagogues. They believe they are certainly in the right, and +therefore never take the pains to find out that they are certainly in +the wrong. + +'From this cause it comes to pass that many English gentlemen are as +much afraid of reading some English books as were the poor blind +Papists of reading books prohibited by their priests; which were, +indeed, all books that had either religion or sense in them. + +'How nicely are those men taught who are taught prejudice! A tincture +of bigotry appears in all the actions of a bigot. He will neither, +with his good liking, eat or drink, or sleep or travel with you, till +he has received full conviction that you wash your hands and pare your +nails just as he does. + +'Here is a squire come down from London who is very rich, and has +bought a world of land in our county of Wilts. The first thing he did +when he came among us was to declare that he would have no dealings +nor conversation with any Whig whatsoever; and, to make his word good, +having bespoke several beds and other furniture to a considerable +value of an upholsterer here, he returned the whole upon the poor +man's hands because his wife had a brother who was a Presbyterian +parson. + +'But this worthy and ingenious squire was very well served by an +officer of the army at a horse race here. They were drinking, among +other company, the King's health, at the door of a public-house, on +horseback; the officer, when it came to his turn, drank it to this +Doughty Highflyer, who happened to be next to him, upon which he made +some difficulty at pledging it, suggesting that public healths should +not be proposed in mixed company. "You would say," says the officer, +"if you durst, that a High Churchman would not have his Majesty's +health proposed to him at all." Upon this he swore he was a High +Churchman, and was not ashamed of it. "So I guessed," said the +officer, "by your disloyalty." "But, Sir," says the officer, "even +disloyalty to your prince need not make you show your ill-breeding in +company." The squire chafed most violently at this, and urged, as a +proof of his good breeding, that he had been bred at Oxford. "So I +guessed," says the officer, "by your ignorance." This nettled the +squire to the height, and fired his little soul at the expense of the +outer case, for he proceeded to give ill words, and to call ill names; +but the officer quickly taught him, by the nose, to hold his tongue, +and ask pardon. Thus it always fares with the High Church in fighting +as it does in disputing: she is constantly beaten; and the courage and +understanding of her passive sons tally with each other.' + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + +OF WOMEN. + +'Some of my fair correspondents have lately reproached me with +negligence and indifference to their sex; but if they could know how +vain I am of so obliging a reprimand, they would be sensible, too, how +little I deserved it. I am not so entirely a statue as to be +insensible of the power of beauty, nor so absolutely a woman's +creature as to be blind to their little weaknesses, their pretty +follies and impertinences. + +'It will be necessary to inform my readers that my landlady is an +eminent milliner, and a considerable dealer in Flanders lace. She is +one of those whom we call notable women; she has run through the rough +and smooth of life, has a very good plain sense of things, and knows +the world, as far as she is concerned in it, very well. I am very much +entertained by her company; her discourse is sure to be seasoned with +scandal, ancient and modern, which, though the morals and gravity of +my character do not allow me to join in, yet, such is the infirmity +of human nature, I find it impossible to be heartily displeased with +it as I ought. + + [Illustration] + +'If I come in at a time when the shop, which is commodiously situated +above stairs, is full of company, I usually place myself in an obscure +corner of it, and observe what passes with secret satisfaction. 'Tis +pleasant to hear my landlady, by the mere incessancy of tittle-tattle, +persuade her pretty customers out of all the understanding that they +brought along with them; and on the other side of the counter to see +the little bosoms pant with irresolution, and swell at the view of +trifles, which humour and custom have taught them to call necessary +and convenient. Hard by perhaps stands a customer of inferior quality, +a citizen's wife suppose her, who is reduced to the hard necessity of +regulating her expenses by her husband's allowance, and is bursting +with vexation to know herself stinted to lace of but fifty shillings a +yard; whereas if she could rise to three pounds, she might be mistress +of a very pretty head, and what she really thinks she need not be +ashamed to be seen in. But for want of this all goes wrong; she hates +her superiors, despises her husband, neglects her children, and is +ashamed and weary of herself. + + [Illustration] + +'This seems ridiculous to my men readers, and it certainly is so; but +are our follies and extravagances more reasonable? Or, rather, are +they not infinitely more dangerous and destructive? What violences do +we not commit upon our consciences for the mere gratification of our +avarice? How much of the real ease and happiness of life do we daily +sacrifice to the vanity of ambition? Is it possible, then, since even +the greatest men are but a bigger sort of children, to be seriously +angry that women are no more? If in my old age I am struck with the +harmony of a rattle, or long to get astride on a hobby-horse; if I +love still to be caressed and flattered, and am delighted with good +words and high titles, why should I be angry that my wife and +daughters do not play the philosopher, and have not more wit than +myself? + + +OF MASQUERADES. + +'I must desire my reader, as he values his repose, not to let his +thoughts run upon anything loose or frightful for two hours at least +before he goes to bed. _Titus Livius_, the Roman historian, is my +usual entertainment, when I don't find myself disposed for closer +application. Happening to come home sooner than ordinary two nights +ago, I took it up, and read the 8th and following chapters of his 39th +book, where he gives us a large account of some nocturnal assemblies +lately set up at Rome; I think he calls them _Bacchanals_, and +describes the ceremonies, rites of initiation, and religious +practices, together with their music, singing, shrieks, and howlings. +The men were dressed like satyrs, and raved like persons distracted, +with enthusiastic motions of the head and violent distortions of the +body. The ladies ran with their hair about their ears and burning +torches in their hands; some covered with the skins of panthers, +others with those of tigers, all attended with drums and trumpets, +while they themselves were the most noisy. "To this diversion," says +the historian, "were added the pleasures of feasting and wine to draw +the more in; and when wine, the night, and a mixed company of men and +women, jumbled together, had extinguished all sense of shame, there +were extravagances of all sorts committed; each having that pleasure +ready prepared for him to which his nature was most inclined." + + [Illustration] + +''Tis with design I have referred my reader to the very place, being +resolved not to trouble him with any farther relation of these +midnight revellings, for fear I should draw him into the same +misfortune I unluckily fell under myself. The very idea of it makes +me tremble still, when I think of those monstrous habits, fantastical +gestures, hideous faces, and confused noises I had in my sleep. Join +to these the many assignations made for the next night, the signs +given for the present execution of former agreements; and the various +plots and contrivances I overheard, for parting man and wife, and +ruining whole families at once. These frightful appearances put me +into such uncommon agitations of body, and I looked so ghastly at my +first waking, that a friend of mine, who came early in the morning to +make me a visit, was struck with such a terror at the sight of me, +that he made to the street door as fast he could, where he had only +time to bid one of my servants run for a physician immediately, for he +was sure I was going mad.' + + +OF SEDITION. + +'The multitude of papers is a complaint so common in the introduction +of every new one, that it would be a shame to repeat it; for my own +part, I am so far from repining at this evil, that I sincerely wish +there were ten times the number. By this means one may hope to see the +appetite for impertinence, defamation, and treason (so prevalent in +the generality of readers) at last surfeit itself, and my honoured +brethren the modern authors be obliged to employ themselves in some +more honest manufacture than that of the _Belles Lettres_. + + [Illustration] + +''Tis impossible for one who has the least knowledge and regard for +his country's interest to look into a coffee-house without the +greatest concern. Industry and application are the true and genuine +honour of a trading city; where these are everywhere visible all is +well. Whenever I see a false thirst for knowledge in my own +countrymen, I am sorry they ever learnt to read. I would not be +thought an enemy to literature (being, indeed, a very learned person +myself), but when I observe a worthy trader, without any natural +malice of his own, sucking in the poison of popularity, and boiling +with indignation against an administration which the pamphleteer +informs him is very corrupt, I am grieved that ever _Machiavel_, +_Hobbes_, _Sidney_, _Filmer_, and the more illustrious moderns, +including myself, appeared in human nature. + +'Idleness is the parent of innumerable vices, and detraction is +generally the first, though not immediately the most mischievous, that +is born of it. The mind of man is of such an ill make that it relishes +defamation much better than applause; so every writer who makes his +court to the multitude must sacrifice his superiors to his patrons. + +'That there is a very great and indefeasible authority in the people, +or Commons of Great Britain, everyone allows. Power is ever naturally +and rightfully founded in those who have anything to risk; and this +power delegated into the hands of Parliament, it there becomes legally +absolute, and the people are, by their very constitution, obliged to a +passive obedience. + + [Illustration] + +'Nothing is better known than this, nothing on all sides more +generally allowed, and one would imagine nothing could sooner silence +the clamour of little statesmen and politicians; that jargon of +public-spiritedness, which wastes so much of the time of the busy part +of our countrymen. The misfortune is that though everyone (who is not +indeed crack-brained with the love of his country) will own that the +populace, by having delegated the right of inspecting public affairs +to others, have no authority to be troublesome about it themselves, +yet everyone excepts himself from the multitude, and imagines that his +own particular talent for public business ought to exempt him from so +severe a restraint. Hence arises the great demand for newspapers and +coffee. Happy is it for the nation and for the Government that the +distemper and the medicine are found at the same place, and the +blue-apron officer who presents you with a newspaper, to heat the +brain and disturb the understanding, is ready the same moment to apply +those composing specificks, a dish and a pipe. Otherwise, what +revolutions and abdications might we not expect to see? I should not +be surprised to hear that a general officer in the trained-bands had +run stark staring mad out of a coffee-house at noon day, declared for +a Free Parliament, and proclaimed my Lord Mayor King of England.' + + [Illustration] + +FOOTNOTES: + +[23] I have ever had a great respect for the most ingenious as well as +most populous society within the liberties, namely, the authors and +carvers of news, generous men! who daily retail their histories and +their parts by pennyworths, and lodge high, and study nightly for the +instruction of such as have the Christian charity to lay out a few +farthings for these their labours, which, like rain, descend from the +clouds for the benefit of the lower world. + +My fellow authors are all men of martial spirits, and have an +ungovernable appetite for blood and mortality. As if they were the +sextons of the camp, and their papers the charnel-houses, they toll +thousands daily to their long home; a charitable office! but they are +paid for it. + +[24] Nothing is so valuable as Time; and he who comes undesired to +help to pass it away, might with the same civility and good sense give +you to understand that he is come, out of pure love to you, with a +coach-and-six and all his family, to help you to pass away your +estate. To have one's hours and recesses at the mercy of visitants and +intruders is arrant thraldom; and though I am an author, I farther +declare I would rather pay a mere trifler half-a-crown a time than be +entertained with his visits and his compliments. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE EARLY +ESSAYISTS--_Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of The 'Humourists,' from + Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the Author's hand, with + Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- THE 'WORLD,' 1753 -- + Introduction -- Its Difference from the Earlier Essays -- + Distinguished Authors who contributed to the 'World' -- + Paragraphs and Pencillings. + + +The 'World'--writes Dr. Chalmers, in his historical and biographical +preface to this series--differs from its predecessors in the general +plan, although the ultimate tendency is similar. We have here no +philosophy of morals, no indignant censure of the grosser vices, no +critical disquisitions, and, in general, scarcely anything serious. +Irony is the predominant feature. This caustic species of wit is +employed in the 'World' to execute purposes which other methods had +failed to accomplish. + +The authors of these essays affected to consider the follies of their +day as beneath their notice, and therefore tried what good might be +done by turning them into ridicule, under the mask of defence or +apology, and thus ingeniously demonstrated that every defence of what +is in itself absurd and wrong, must either partake of the ridiculous, +or be intolerable and repugnant to common sense and reason. With such +intentions, notwithstanding their apparent good humour, they may, +perhaps, in the apprehension of many readers, appear more severe +censors of the foibles of the age than any who have gone before them. + +The design, as professed in the first paper, was to ridicule, with +novelty and good humour, the fashions, foibles, vices, and absurdities +of that part of the human species which calls itself 'The World;' and +this the principal writers were enabled to execute with facility, from +the knowledge incidental to their rank in life, the elevated sphere +in which they moved, their intercourse with a part of society not +easily accessible to authors in general, and the good sense which +prevented them from being blinded by the glare or enslaved by the +authority of fashion. + +The 'World' was projected by Edward Moore[25]--in conjunction with +Robert Dodsley, the eminent publisher of Johnson's 'Dictionary'--who +fixed upon the name; and by defraying the expense, and rewarding +Moore, became, and for many years continued to be, the sole proprietor +of the work. + +Edward Moore's abilities, his modest demeanour, inoffensive manners, +and moral conduct, recommended him to the men of genius and learning +of the age, and procured him the patronage of Lord Lyttleton, who +engaged his friends to assist him in the way which a man not wholly +dependent would certainly prefer. Dodsley, the publisher, stipulated +to pay Moore three guineas for every paper of the 'World' which he +should write, or which might be sent for publication and approved of. +Lord Lyttleton, to render this bargain effectual, and an easy source +of emolument to his _protege_, solicited the assistance of such men as +are not often found willing to contribute the labours of the pen, men +of high rank in the state, and men of fame and fashion, who cheerfully +undertook to supply the paper, while Moore reaped the emolument, and +perhaps for a time enjoyed the reputation of the whole. But when it +became known, as the information soon circulated in whispers, that +such men as the Earls of Chesterfield, Bath, and Cork--that Horace +Walpole, Richard Owen Cambridge, and Soame Jenyns--besides other +persons of both distinction and parts--were leagued in a scheme of +authorship to amuse the town, and that the 'World' was the bow of +Ulysses, in which it was 'the fashion for men of rank and genius to +try their strength,' we may easily suppose that it would excite the +curiosity of the public in an uncommon degree. + +The first paper was published January 24, 1753; it was consequently +contemporary with the 'Adventurer,' which began November 7, 1752; but +as the 'World' was published only once a week, it outlived the +'Adventurer' nearly two years, during which time it ran its course +also with the 'Connoisseur.' It was of the same size and type and at +the same price with the 'Rambler' and 'Adventurer,' but the sale in +numbers was superior to either. In No. 3, Lord Chesterfield states +that the number sold weekly was two thousand, which number, he adds, +'exceeds the largest that was ever printed, even of the "Spectator."' +In No. 49, he hints that 'not above _three_ thousand were sold.' The +sale was probably not regular, and would be greater on the days when +rumour announced his lordship as the writer. The usual number printed +was two thousand five hundred, as stated in a letter from Moore to Dr. +Warton. Notwithstanding the able assistance of his right honourable +friends, Moore wrote sixty-one of these papers, and part of another. +He excelled principally in assuming the serious manner for the +purposes of ridicule, or of raising idle curiosity; his irony is +admirably concealed. However trite his subject, he enlivens it by +original turns of thought. + +In the last paper, the conclusion of the work is made to depend on a +fictitious accident which is supposed to have happened to the author +and occasioned his death. When the papers were collected in volumes, +Moore superintended the publication, and actually died while this last +paper was in the press: a circumstance somewhat singular, when we look +at the contents of it, and which induces us to wish that death may be +less frequently included among the topics of wit. + +It has been the general opinion, for the honour of rank, that the +papers written by men of that description in the 'World' are superior +to those of Moore, or of his assistants of 'low degree.' It may be +conceded that among the contributories the first place is due, in +point of genius, taste, and elegance, to the pen of Philip Dormer +Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield. + +Lord Chesterfield's services to this paper were purely voluntary, but +a circumstance occurred to his first communication which had nearly +disinclined him to send a second. He sent his paper to the publisher +without any notice of its authorship; it underwent a casual +inspection, and, from its length, was at least delayed, if not +positively rejected. Fortunately Lord Lyttleton saw it at Dodsley's, +and knew the hand. Moore then hastened to publish the paper (No. 18), +and thought proper to introduce it with an apology for the delay, and +a neat compliment to the wit and good sense of his correspondent. + +Chesterfield continued his papers occasionally, and wrote in all +twenty-three numbers, certainly equal, if not superior, in brilliancy +of wit and novelty of thought, to the most popular productions of this +kind. + +A certain interest surrounds most of the authors who assisted in the +'World,' and many of the papers were written under circumstances which +increase the attraction of their contents. We have not space to +particularise special essays, or to enter upon the biographical +details which properly belong to our subject; we must restrict further +notice to a mere recapitulation of the contributors and their pieces. +Richard Owen Cambridge, the author of the 'Scribleriad,' wrote in all +twenty-one papers. Horace Walpole was the author of nine papers in the +'World,' all of which excel in keen satire, shrewd remark, easy and +scholarly diction, and knowledge of mankind; indeed, for sprightly +humour these papers probably excel all his other writings, and most of +those of his contemporaries. For five papers we are indebted to Soame +Jenyns, who held the office and rank of one of the Lords Commissioners +of the Board of Trade and Plantations. James Tilson, Consul at Cadiz, +furnished five papers of considerable merit and novelty. Five papers, +chiefly of the more serious kind, were contributed by Edward +Loveybond; the 'Tears of Old May-Day,' No. 82 of the 'World,' is +esteemed one of his best poetic compositions. + +W. Whitehead, the Poet Laureate, wrote three papers, Nos. 12, 19, and +58. Nos. 79, 156, 202 were written by Richard Berenger, Gentleman of +the Horse to the King. Sir James Marriott, Judge of the High Court of +Admiralty, and Master of Trinity Hall, Cambridge, wrote Nos. 117, 121, +199. The 'Adventures of the Pumpkin Family,' zealous to defend their +honour, given in Nos. 47 and 63, were written by John, Earl of Cork +and Orrery, the amiable nobleman who, as Johnson whimsically declared, +'_was so generally civil, that nobody thanked him for it_.' The Earl +of Cork is also said to have contributed Nos. 161 and 185; he took a +more active part in the 'Connoisseur.' + +To his son, Mr. Hamilton Boyle, who afterwards succeeded to the +earl's title, the 'World' was indebted for Nos. 60 and 170, two papers +drawn up with vivacity, humour, and elegance. + +William Pulteney, Earl of Bath, to whom the second volume of the +'Guardian' was dedicated, contributed to the 'World,' in his +seventy-first year, No. 7, a lively paper on horse-racing and the +manners of Newmarket. + +Three papers, Nos. 140, 147, and 204, specimens of easy and natural +humour, came from the pen of Sir David Dalrymple, better known as Lord +Hailes, one of the senators of the College of Justice in Scotland; in +advanced life Lord Hailes contributed several papers remarkable for +vivacity and point to the 'Mirror.' William Duncombe, a poetical and +miscellaneous writer, was the author of the allegory in No. 84; his +son, the Rev. John Duncombe, of Canterbury, was the author of No. 36. +The latter gentleman appears in connection with the 'Connoisseur.' +Nos. 38 and 74 were written by Mr. Parratt, the author of some poems +in Dodsley's collection. Nos. 78 and 86 are from the pen of the Rev. +Thomas Cole. + +The remaining writers in the 'World' were single-paper men, but some +of them of considerable distinction in other departments of literary +and of public life. + +No. 15 was written by the Rev. Francis Coventrye. No. 26 was the +production of Dr. Thomas Warton, who was then contributing to the +'Adventurer.' In No. 32 criticism is treated with considerable humour +as a species of disease by the publisher, Robert Dodsley, whose +popularity extended to all ranks. + +No. 37, like Lord Chesterfield's first contributions, was accorded the +honour of an extra half-sheet, rather than that the excellences of the +letter should be curtailed. It is not only the longest, but is +considered one of the best papers in the collection. It was written by +Sir Charles Hunbury Williams, for some time the English Minister at +the Courts of Berlin and St. Petersburgh. A humorous letter on posts +(No. 45) was from the pen of William Hayward Roberts, afterwards +Provost of Eton College, Chaplain to the King, and Rector of Farnham +Royal, Buckinghamshire. One of the best papers for delicate irony to +be found in the entire series of humorous essayists, No. 83, on the +'Manufactory of Thunder and Lightning,' was written by Mr. William +Whittaker, a serjeant-at-law and a Welsh judge. + +Nos. 110 and 159 are attributed to John Gilbert Cooper, author of the +'Life of Socrates,' and 'Letters on Taste.' Thomas Mulso, a brother of +Mrs. Chapone, is set down as the writer of No. 31. He published, in +1768, 'Calistus, or the Man of Fashion,' and 'Sophronius, or the +Country Gentleman in Dialogues.' James Ridley, author of the 'Tales of +the Genii' and of the 'Schemer,' contributed No. 155. Mr. Gataker, a +surgeon of eminence, was the author of No. 184. Mr. Herring, rector of +Great Mongeham, Kent, wrote No. 122, on the 'Distresses of a Physician +without Patronage.' Mr. Moyle wrote No. 156, on 'False Honour,' and +Mr. Burgess No. 198, an excellent paper on the 'Difficulty of Getting +Rid of Oneself.' The 'Ode to Sculpture,' in No. 200, was written by +James Scott, D.D. Forty-one papers were written by persons whose names +were either unknown to the publisher, or who desired to remain +anonymous. + +The 'World' has been frequently reprinted, and will probably always +remain a favourite, for its materials, although sustained by the most +whimsical raillery, are not of a perishable kind. The manners of +fashionable life are not so mutable in their principles as is commonly +supposed, and those who practise them may at least boast that they +have stronger stamina than to yield to the attacks of wit or morals. + + +No. 7. THE 'WORLD.'--_Feb. 15, 1753._ + +'Whoever is a frequenter of public assemblies, or joins in a party of +cards in private families, will give evidence to the truth of this +complaint. + +'How common is it with some people, at the conclusion of every +unsuccessful hand of cards, to burst forth into sallies of fretful +complaints of their own amazing ill-fortune and the constant and +invariable success of their antagonists! They have such excellent +memories as to be able to recount every game they have lost for six +months successively, and yet are so extremely forgetful at the same +time as not to recollect a single game they have won. Or if you put +them in mind of any extraordinary success that you have been witness +to, they acknowledge it with reluctance, and assure you, upon their +honours, that in a whole twelvemonth's play they never rose winners +but that once. + +'But if these _growlers_ (a name which I shall always call men of this +class by) would only content themselves with giving repeated histories +of their ill-fortunes, without making invidious remarks on the success +of others, the evil would not be so great. + + [Illustration] + +'Indeed, I am apt to impute it to their fears, that they stop short of +the grossest affronts; for I have seen in their faces such rancour and +inveteracy, that nothing but a lively apprehension of consequences +could have restrained their tongues. + +'Happy would it be for the ladies if they had the consequences to +apprehend; for, I am sorry to say it, I have met with female, I will +not say _growlers_, the word is too harsh for them; let me call them +_fretters_, who with the prettiest faces and the liveliest wit +imaginable, have condescended to be the jest and the disturbance of +the whole company.' + + +No. 18. THE 'WORLD.'--_May 3, 1753._ + +A worthy gentleman, who is suffering from the consequences of treating +his wife and daughter to a visit to Paris, is describing, in a letter +to Mr. FitzAdam, the follies into which the ladies of his party were +betrayed 'in order to fit themselves out to appear, as the French say, +_honnetement_.' + +'In about three days,' writes the victim of these vagaries of fashion, +'the several mechanics, who were charged with the care of disguising +my wife and daughter, brought home their respective parts of the +transformation. More than the whole morning was employed in this +operation, for we did not sit down to dinner till near five o'clock. +When my wife and daughter came at last into the eating-room, where I +had waited for them at least two hours, I was so struck with their +transformation that I could neither conceal nor express my +astonishment. "Now, my dear," said my wife, "we can appear a little +like Christians." "And strollers too," replied I; "for such have I +seen at Southwark Fair. This cannot surely be serious!" "Very serious, +depend upon it, my dear," said my wife; "and pray, by the way, what +may there be ridiculous in it?" + +'Addressing myself to my wife and daughter, I told them I perceived +that there was a painter now in Paris who coloured much higher than +Rigault, though he did not paint near so like; for that I could hardly +have guessed them to be the pictures of themselves. To this they both +answered at once, that red was not paint; that no colour in the world +was _fard_ but white, of which they protested they had none. + +'"But how do you like my _pompon_, papa?" continued my daughter; "is +it not a charming one? I think it is prettier than mamma's." "It may +be, child, for anything that I know; because I do not know what part +of all this frippery thy _pompon_ is." "It is this, papa," replied the +girl, putting up her hand to her head, and showing me in the middle of +her hair a complication of shreds and rags of velvets, feathers, and +ribands, stuck with false stones of a thousand colours, and placed +awry. + + [Illustration] + +'"But what hast thou done to thy hair, child, and why is it blue? Is +that painted, too, by the same eminent hand that coloured thy cheeks?" +"Indeed, papa," answered the girl, "as I told you before, there is no +painting in the case; but what gives my hair that bluish cast is the +grey powder, which has always that effect on dark-coloured hair, and +sets off the complexion wonderfully." "Grey powder, child!" said I, +with some surprise; "grey hairs I knew were venerable; but till this +moment I never knew they were genteel." "Extremely so, with some +complexions," said my wife; "but it does not suit with mine, and I +never use it." "You are much in the right, my dear," replied I, "not +to play with edge-tools. Leave it to the girl." This, which perhaps +was too hastily said, was not kindly taken; my wife was silent all +dinner-time, and I vainly hoped ashamed. My daughter, intoxicated with +her dress, kept up the conversation with herself, till the +long-wished-for moment of the opera came, which separated us, and left +me time to reflect upon the extravagances which I had already seen, +and upon the still greater which I had but too much reason to dread.' + + +No. 21. THE 'WORLD.'--_May 24, 1753._ + +I am not so partial to the ladies, particularly the unmarried ones, as +to imagine them without fault; on the contrary, I am going to accuse +them of a very great one, which, if not put a stop to before the warm +weather comes in, no mortal can tell to what lengths it may be +carried. You have already hinted at this fault in the sex, under the +genteel appellation of moulting their dress. If necks, shoulders, &c., +have begun to shed their covering in winter, what a general display of +nature are we to expect this summer, when the excuse of heat may be +alleged in favour of such a display! I called some time ago upon a +friend of mine near St. James's, who, upon my asking where his sister +was, told me, "At her toilette, undressing for the ridetto." That the +expression may be intelligible to every one of your readers, I beg +leave to inform them that it is the fashion for a lady to undress +herself to go abroad, and to dress only when she stays at home and +sees no company. + + [Illustration] + +'It may be urged, perhaps, that the nakedness in fashion is intended +only to be emblematical of the innocence of the present generation of +young ladies; as we read of our first mother before the fall, that +_she was naked and not ashamed_; but I cannot help thinking that her +daughters of these times should convince us that they are entirely +free from original sin, or else be ashamed of their nakedness. + +'I would ask any pretty miss about town, if she ever went a second +time to see the wax-work, or the lions, or even the dogs or the +monkeys, with the same delight as at first? Certain it is that the +finest show in the world excites but little curiosity in those who +have seen it before. "That was a very fine picture," says my lord, +"_but I had seen it before_." "'Twas a sweet song," says my lady, +"_but I had heard it before_." "A very fine poem," says the critic, +"_but I had read it before_." Let every lady, therefore, take care, +that while she is displaying in public a bosom whiter than snow, the +men do not look as if they were saying, "'Tis very pretty, _but we +have seen it before_."' + + +No. 23. THE 'WORLD.'--_June 7, 1753._ + +'A recent visit to Bedlam revived an opinion I have often entertained, +that the maddest people in the kingdom are not _in_ but _out_ of +Bedlam. I have frequently compared in my own mind the actions of +certain persons whom we daily meet with in the world with those of +Bedlam, who, properly speaking, may be said to be out of it; and I +know of no difference between them, than that the former are mad with +their reason about them, and the latter so from the misfortune of +having lost it. But what is extraordinary in this age, when, to its +honour be it spoken, charity is become fashionable, these unhappy +wretches are suffered to run loose about the town, raising riots in +public assemblies, beating constables, breaking lamps, damning +parsons, affronting modesty, disturbing families, and destroying their +own fortunes and constitutions; and all this without any provision +being made for them, or the least attempt being made to cure them of +this madness in their blood. + +'The miserable objects I am speaking of are divided into two classes: +the Men of Spirit about town, and the Bucks. The Men of Spirit have +some glimmerings of understanding, the Bucks none; the former are +demoniacs, or people possessed; the latter are uniformly and incurably +mad. For the reception and confinement of both these classes, I would +humbly propose that two very spacious buildings should be erected, the +one called the hospital for the Men of Spirit or demoniacs, and the +other the hospital for the Bucks or incurables. + + [Illustration] + +'That after such hospitals are built, proper officers appointed, and +doctors, surgeons, apothecaries, and mad nurses provided, all young +noblemen and others within the bills of mortality having common sense, +who shall be found offending against the rules of decency, shall +immediately be conducted to the hospital for demoniacs, there to be +exorcised, physicked, and disciplined into a proper use of their +senses; and that full liberty be granted to all persons whatsoever to +visit, laugh at, and make sport of these demoniacs, without let or +molestation from any of the keepers, according to the present custom +of Bedlam. To the Buck hospital for incurables, I would have all such +persons conveyed that are mad through folly, ignorance, or conceit; +therefore to be shut up for life, not only to be prevented from doing +mischief, but from exposing in their own persons the weaknesses and +miseries of mankind. The incurables on no pretence whatsoever are to +be visited or ridiculed; as it would be altogether as inhuman to +insult the unhappy wretches who never were possessed of their senses, +as to make a jest of those who have unfortunately lost them.' + + +No. 34. THE 'WORLD.'--_Aug. 23, 1753._ + +'I am well aware that there are certain of my readers who have no +belief in WITCHES; but I am willing to hope they are only those who +either have not read, or else have forgot, the proceedings against +them published at large in the state trials. If there is any man alive +who can deny his assent to the positive and circumstantial evidence +given against them in these trials, I shall only say that I pity most +sincerely the hardness of his heart. + + [Illustration] + +'What is it but _witchcraft_ that occasions that universal and +uncontrollable rage for play, by which the nobleman, the man of +fashion, the merchant and the tradesman, with their wives, sons, and +daughters, are running headlong to ruin? What is it but _witchcraft_ +that conjures up that spirit of pride and passion for expense by which +all classes of men, from his grace at Westminster to the salesman at +Wapping, are entailing beggary upon their old age, and bequeathing +their children to poverty and to the parish? I shall conclude by +signifying my intention, one day or other, of hiring a porter and +sending him with a hammer and nails, and a large quantity of +horse-shoes, to certain houses in the purlieus of St James's. I +believe it may not be amiss (as a charm against play) if he had orders +to fix a whole dozen of these horse-shoes at the door of _White's_.' + + +No. 37. THE 'WORLD.'--_Sept. 13, 1753._ + +ON TOAD-EATING. + +_'To Mr. FitzAdam._ + +'Sir,--I am the widow of a merchant with whom I lived happily and in +affluence for many years. We had no children, and when he died he left +me all he had; but his affairs were so involved that the balance which +I received, after having gone through much expense and trouble, was no +more than one thousand pounds. This sum I placed in the hands of a +friend of my husband's, who was reckoned a good man in the City, and +who allowed me an interest of four per cent, for my capital; and with +this forty pounds a year I retired and boarded in a village about a +hundred miles from London. + +'There was a lady, an old lady, of great fortune in that +neighbourhood, who visited often at the house where I lodged; she +pretended, after a short acquaintance, to take a great liking to me; +she professed friendship for me, and at length persuaded me to come +and live with her. + +'One day, when her ladyship had treated me with uncommon kindness for +my having taken her part in a dispute with one of her relations, I +received a letter from London, to inform me that the person in whose +hands I had placed my fortune, and who till that time had paid my +interest money very exactly, was broke, and had left the kingdom. + +'I handed the letter to her ladyship, who immediately read it over +with more attention than emotion. + +'Whenever Lady Mary spoke to me she had hitherto called me Mrs. +Truman; but the very next morning at breakfast she left out Mrs.; and +upon no greater provocation than breaking a teacup, she made me +thoroughly sensible of her superiority and my dependence. "Lord, +Truman! you are so awkward; pray be more careful for the future, or we +shall not live long together. Do you think I can afford to have my +china broken at this rate, and maintain you into the bargain?" + + [Illustration] + +'From this moment I was obliged to drop the name and character of +friend, which I had hitherto maintained with a little dignity, and to +take up with that which the French call _complaisante_, and the +English _humble companion_. But it did not stop here; for in a week I +was reduced to be as miserable a toad-eater as any in Great Britain, +which in the strictest sense of the word is a servant; except that the +toad-eater has the honour of dining with my lady, and the misfortune +of receiving no wages.' + + +No. 46. THE 'WORLD.'--_Nov. 15, 1753._ + + [Illustration] + +'A correspondent who is piqued at not being recognised by the great +people to whom he has been but recently presented, is very +unreasonable, for he cannot but have observed at the playhouses and +other public places, from the number of glasses used by people of +fashion, that they are naturally short-sighted. + +'It is from this visual defect that a great man is apt to mistake +fortune for honour, a service of plate for a good name, and his +neighbour's wife for his own.' + + +No. 47. THE 'WORLD.'--_Nov. 22, 1753._ + +_'To Mr. FitzAdam._ + +'Sir,--Dim-sighted as I am, my spectacles have assisted me +sufficiently to read your papers. As a recompense for the pleasure I +have received from them, I send you a family anecdote, which till now +has never appeared in print. I am the grand-daughter of Sir Josiah +Pumpkin, of Pumpkin Hall, in South Wales. I was educated at the +hall-house of my own ancestors, under the care and tuition of my +honoured grandfather. It was the constant custom of my grandfather, +when he was tolerably free from the gout, to summon his three +grand-daughters to his bedside, and amuse us with the most important +transactions of his life. He told us he hoped we would have children, +to whom some of his adventures might prove useful and instructive. + +'Sir Josiah was scarce nineteen years old when he was introduced at +the Court of Charles the Second, by his uncle Sir Simon Sparrowgrass, +who was at that time Lancaster herald-at-arms, and in great favour at +Whitehall. + +'As soon as he had kissed the King's hand, he was presented to the +Duke of York, and immediately afterwards to the ministers and the +mistresses. His fortune, which was considerable, and his manners, +which were elegant, made him so very acceptable in all companies, that +he had the honour to be plunged at once into every polite party of +wit, pleasure, and expense, that the courtiers could possibly display. +He danced with the ladies, he drank with the gentlemen, he sang loyal +catches, and broke bottles and glasses in every tavern throughout +London. But still he was by no means a perfect fine gentleman. He had +not fought a DUEL. He was so extremely unfortunate as never to have +had even the happiness of a _rencontre_. The want of opportunity, not +of courage, had occasioned this inglorious chasm in his character. He +appeared, not only to the whole court, but even in his own eye, an +unworthy and degenerate Pumpkin, till he had shown himself as expert +in opening a vein with a sword as any surgeon in England could be with +a lancet. Things remained in this unhappy situation till he was near +two-and-twenty years of age. + + [Illustration] + +'At length his better stars prevailed, and he received a most +egregious affront from Mr. Cucumber, one of the gentlemen-ushers of +the privy-chamber. Cucumber, who was in waiting at court, spit +inadvertently into the chimney, and as he stood next to Sir Josiah +Pumpkin, part of the spittle rested upon Sir Josiah's shoe. It was +then that the true Pumpkin honour arose in blushes upon his cheeks. He +turned upon his heel, went home immediately, and sent Mr. Cucumber a +challenge. Captain Daisy, a friend to each party, not only carried +the challenge, but adjusted preliminaries. The heroes were to fight in +Moorfields, and to bring fifteen seconds on a side. Punctuality is a +strong instance of valour upon these occasions; the clock of St. +Paul's struck seven just when the combatants were marking out their +ground, and each of the two-and-thirty gentlemen was adjusting himself +into a posture of defence against his adversary. It happened to be the +hour for breakfast in the hospital of Bedlam. A small bell had rung to +summon the Bedlamites into the great gallery. The keepers had already +unlocked the cells, and were bringing forth their mad folks, when the +porter of Bedlam, Owen Macduffy, standing at the iron gate, and +beholding such a number of armed men in the fields, immediately roared +out, "Fire, murder, swords, daggers, bloodshed!" Owen's voice was +always remarkably loud, but his fears had rendered it still louder and +more tremendous. His words struck a panic into the keepers; they lost +all presence of mind, they forgot their prisoners, and hastened most +precipitately down stairs to the scene of action. At the sight of the +naked swords their fears increased, and at once they stood +open-mouthed and motionless. Not so the lunatics; freedom to madmen +and light to the blind are equally rapturous. Ralph Rogers, the +tinker, began the alarm. His brains had been turned with joy at the +Restoration, and the poor wretch imagined that this glorious set of +combatants were Roundheads and Fanatics, and accordingly he cried out, +"Liberty and property, my boys! Down with the Rump! Cromwell and +Ireton are come from hell to destroy us. Come, my Cavalier lads, +follow me, and let us knock out their brains." The Bedlamites +immediately obeyed, and, with the tinker at their head, leaped over +the balusters of the staircase, and ran wildly into the fields. In +their way they picked up some staves and cudgels, which the porters +and the keepers had inadvertently left behind, and, rushing forward +with amazing fury, they forced themselves outrageously into the midst +of the combatants, and in one unlucky moment disturbed all the decency +and order with which this most illustrious duel had begun. + +'It seemed, according to my grandfather's observation, a very untoward +fate that two-and-thirty gentlemen of courage, honour, fortune, and +quality should meet together in hopes of killing each other with all +that resolution and politeness which belonged to their stations, and +should at once be routed, dispersed, and even wounded by a set of +madmen, without sword, pistol, or any other more honourable weapon +than a cudgel. + +'The madmen were not only superior in strength, but numbers. Sir +Josiah Pumpkin and Mr. Cucumber stood their ground as long as +possible, and they both endeavoured to make the lunatics the sole +object of their mutual revenge; but the two friends were soon +overpowered, and, no person daring to come to their assistance, each +of them made as proper a retreat as the place and circumstances would +admit. + + [Illustration] + +'Many other gentlemen were knocked down and trampled under foot. Some +of them, whom my grandfather's generosity would never name, betook +themselves to flight in a most inglorious manner. An earl's son was +spied clinging submissively round the feet of mad Pocklington, the +tailor. A young baronet, although naturally intrepid, was obliged to +conceal himself at the bottom of Pippin Kate's apple-stall. A +Shropshire squire, of three thousand pounds a year, was discovered, +chin deep and almost stifled, in Fleet Ditch. Even Captain Daisy +himself was found in a milk-cellar, with visible marks of fear and +consternation. Thus ended this inauspicious day. But the madmen +continued their outrages many days after. It was near a week before +they were all retaken and chained to their cells, and during that +interval of liberty they committed many offensive pranks throughout +the cities of London and Westminster. + + [Illustration] + +'Such unforeseen disasters occasioned some prudent regulations in the +laws of honour. It was enacted from that time that six combatants +(three on a side) might be allowed and acknowledged to contain such a +quantity of blood in their veins as should be sufficient to satisfy +the highest affront that could be offered.' + + +No. 64. THE 'WORLD.'--_March 21, 1754._ + +One of Mr. FitzAdam's correspondents is describing a morning he spent +in the library of Lord Finican, with which nobleman he was invited to +breakfast:-- + +'I now fell to the books with a good appetite, intending to make a +full meal; and while I was chewing upon a piece of Tully's +philosophical writings, my lord came in upon me. His looks discovered +great uneasiness, which I attributed to the effects of the last +night's diversions; but good manners requiring me to prefer his +lordship's conversation to my own amusement, I replaced his book, and +by the sudden satisfaction in his countenance perceived that the cause +of his perturbation was my holding open the book with a pinch of snuff +in my fingers. He said he was glad to see me, for he should not have +known else what to have done with himself. I returned the compliment +by saying I thought he could not want entertainment amidst so choice +a collection of books. "Yes," replied he, "the collection is not +without elegance; but I read men only now, for I finished my studies +when I set out on my travels. You are not the first who has admired my +library; and I am allowed to have as fine a taste in books as any man +in England." + +'Hereupon he showed me a "Pastor Fido," bound in green and decorated +with myrtle-leaves. He then took down a volume of Tillotson, in a +black binding, with the leaves as white as a law-book, and gilt on the +back with little mitres and crosiers; and lastly, Caesar's +"Commentaries," clothed in red and gold, in imitation of the military +uniform of English officers.' + + [Illustration] + +The literary gentleman finally elicits that his lordship's books are +simply selected for fashion and show, and that they are never read, +Lord Finican having long given up the study of books, and merely +collecting a library to establish the excellence of his taste. + + +No. 68. THE 'WORLD.'--_April 18, 1754._ + +Mr. FitzAdam prints a letter received from a widow, describing the +real facts of the injuries by which her husband had lost his life in a +duel:-- + +'Mr. Muzzy was very fat and extremely lethargic, and so stupidly heavy +that he fell asleep even in musical assemblies, and snored in the +playhouse, as loud, poor man! as he used to snore in bed. However, +having received many taunts and reproaches, he resolved to challenge +his own cousin-german, Brigadier Truncheon, of Soho Square. It seems +the person challenged fixed upon the place and weapons. Truncheon, a +deep-sighted man, chose Primrose Hill for the field of battle, and +swords for the weapons of defence. To avoid suspicion and to prevent a +discovery, they were to walk together from Piccadilly, where we then +lived, to the summit of Primrose Hill. Truncheon's scheme took effect. +Mr. Muzzy was much fatigued and out of breath with the walk. However, +he drew his sword; and, as he assured me himself, began to attack his +cousin with valour. The brigadier went back; Mr. Muzzy pursued; but +not having his adversary's alacrity, he stopped a little to take +breath. He stopped, alas! too long: his lethargy came on with more +than usual violence; he first dozed as he stood upon his legs, and +then beginning to nod forward, dropped by degrees upon his face in a +most profound sleep. + + [Illustration] + +'Truncheon, base man! took this opportunity to wound my husband as he +lay snoring on the ground; and he had the cunning to direct his stab +in such a manner as to make it supposed that Mr. Muzzy had fled, and +in his flight had received a wound in the most ignominious part of his +body. You will ask what became of the seconds. They were both killed +upon the spot; but being only two servants, the one a butler and the +other a cook, they were buried the same night; and by the power of a +little money, properly applied, no further inquiry was made about +them. + +'Mr. Muzzy, wounded as he was, might probably have slept upon that +spot for many hours, had he not been awakened by the cruel bites of a +mastiff. My poor husband was thoroughly awakened by the new hurt he +had received; and indeed it was impossible to have slept while he was +losing whole collops of the fattest and most pulpy part of his flesh: +so that he was brought home to me much more wounded by the teeth of +the mastiff than by the sword of his cousin Truncheon.' The wound +eventually mortified, Mr. Muzzy lost his life, and the writer became a +widow. + + +No. 82. THE 'WORLD.'--_July 25, 1754._ + +'THE TEARS OF OLD MAY-DAY. + + 'Led by the jocund train of vernal hours, + And vernal airs, up rose the gentle May, + Blushing she rose and blushing rose the flowers + That spring spontaneous in her genial ray. + + 'Her locks with Heaven's ambrosial dews were bright, + And am'rous Zephyrs flutter'd on her breast; + With ev'ry shifting gleam of morning light + The colours shifted of her rainbow vest. + + 'Imperial ensigns graced her smiling form, + A golden key and golden wand she bore; + This charms to peace each sullen eastern storm, + And that unlocks the summer's copious store. + + 'Vain hope, no more in choral bands unite + Her virgin vot'ries, and at early dawn, + Sacred to May and Love's mysterious rite, + Brush the light dewdrops[26] from the spangled lawn. + + 'To her no more Augusta's[27] wealthy pride + Pours the full tribute of Potosi's mine; + Nor fresh-blown garlands village maids provide, + A purer off'ring at her rustic shrine. + + 'No more the May-pole's verdant height around, + To valour's games th' adventurous youth advance; + To merry bells and tabor's sprightlier sound + Wake the loud carol and the sportive dance.' + +'I have hinted more than once that the present age (1754), +notwithstanding the vices and follies with which it abounds, has the +happiness of standing as high in my opinion as any age whatsoever. But +it has always been the fashion to believe that from the beginning of +the world to the present day men have been increasing in wickedness. + +'I believe that all vices will be found to exist amongst us much in +the same degree as heretofore, forms only changing. + +'Our grandfathers used to get drunk with strong beer and port; we get +drunk with claret and champagne. They would lie abominably to conceal +their peccadilloes; we lie as abominably in boasting of ours. They +stole slily in at the back-door of a bagnio; we march in boldly at the +front-door, and immediately steal out slily at the back-door. Our +mothers were prudes; their daughters coquettes. The first dressed like +modest women, and perhaps were wantons; the last dress like women of +pleasure, and perhaps are virtuous. Those treated without hanging out +a sign; these hang out a sign without intending to treat. To be still +more particular: the abuse of power, the views of patriots, the +flattery of dependents, and the promises of great men are, I believe, +pretty much the same now as in former ages. Vices that we have no +relish for, we part with for those we like; giving up avarice for +prodigality, hypocrisy for profligacy, and looseness for play.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 86. THE 'WORLD.'--_Aug. 22, 1754._ + + [Illustration] + +A correspondent, after summing up the lessons he daily extracts from +trees, flowers, insects, and the inmates of his garden, continues:-- + +'In short, there is such a close affinity between a proper cultivation +of a flower-garden and a right discipline of the mind that it is +almost impossible for any thoughtful person, that has made any +proficiency in the one, to avoid paying a due attention to the other. +That industry and care which are so requisite to cleanse a garden from +all sorts of weeds will naturally suggest to him how much more +expedient it would be to exert the same diligence in eradicating all +sorts of prejudices, follies, and vices from the mind, where they will +be sure to prevail, without a great deal of care and correction, as +common weeds in a neglected piece of ground. + +'And as it requires more pains to extirpate some weeds than others, +according as they are more firmly fixed, more numerous, or more +naturalised to the soil; so those faults will be found to be most +difficult to be suppressed which have been of the largest growth and +taken the deepest root, which are more predominant in number and most +congenial to the constitution.' + + +No. 92. THE 'WORLD.'--_Oct. 3, 1754._ + +Mr. FitzAdam, defining the characters of _Siphons_ and _Soakers_, +points to a theory that dropsy, of which so many of their order +perish, is a manifest judgment upon them, the wine they so much loved +being turned into water, and themselves drowned at last in the element +they so much abhorred. + + [Illustration] + +'A rational and sober man, invited by the wit and gaiety of good +company, and hurried away by an uncommon flow of spirits, may happen +to drink too much, and perhaps accidentally to get drunk; but then +these sallies will be short and not frequent. Whereas the soaker is an +utter stranger to wit and mirth, and no friend to either. His business +is serious, and he applies himself seriously to it; he steadily +pursues the numbing, stupefying, and petrifying, not the animating and +exhilarating qualities of the wine. The more he drinks, the duller he +grows; his politics become more obscure, and his narratives more +tedious and less intelligible; till, at last _maudlin_, he employs +what little articulation he has left in relating his doleful state to +an insensible audience. + +'I am well aware that the numerous society of _siphons_ (as I shall +for the future typify the soakers, suction being equally the only +business of both) will say, like Sir Tunbelly, "What would this fellow +have us do?" To which I am at no loss for an answer: "Do anything +else."' + + +No. 100. THE 'WORLD.'--_Nov. 28, 1754._ + +'I heard the other day with great pleasure from my friend, Mr. +Dodsley, that Mr. Johnson's "English Dictionary," with a grammar and +history of our language, will be published this winter, in two large +volumes in folio. + +'Many people have imagined that so extensive a work would have been +best performed by a number of persons, who should have taken their +several departments of examining, fitting, winnowing, purifying, and +finally fixing our language by incorporating their respective funds +into one joint stock. + +'But, whether this opinion be true or false, I think the public in +general, and the republic of letters in particular, are greatly +obliged to Mr. Johnson for having undertaken and executed so great and +desirable a work. Perfection is not to be expected from man; but if we +are to judge by the various works of Mr. Johnson already published, we +have good reason to believe that he will bring this as near to +perfection as any one man could do. The plan of it, which we published +some years ago, seems to me to be a proof of it. Nothing can be more +rationally imagined or more accurately and elegantly expressed. I +therefore recommend the previous perusal of it to all those who intend +to buy the dictionary, and who, I suppose, are all those who can +afford it.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 103. THE 'WORLD.'--_Dec. 19, 1754._ + +Mr. FitzAdam relates an anecdote establishing the good breeding of +highwaymen of the upper class:-- + +'An acquaintance of mine was robbed a few years ago, and very near +shot through the head by the going off of a pistol of the accomplished +Mr. M'Lean, yet the whole affair was conducted with the greatest good +breeding on both sides. The robber, who had only taken a purse _this +way_ because he had that morning been disappointed of marrying a great +fortune, no sooner returned to his lodgings than he sent the gentleman +two letters of excuses, which, with less wit than the epistles of +Voltaire, had infinitely more natural and easy politeness in the turn +of their expressions. In the postscript he appointed a meeting at +Tyburn, at twelve at night, where the gentleman might _purchase again_ +any trifles he had lost; and my friend has been blamed for not +accepting the rendezvous, as it seemed liable to be construed by +ill-natured people into a doubt of the _honour_ of a man who had given +him all the satisfaction in his power for having unluckily been near +shooting him through the head.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 112. THE 'WORLD.'--_Feb. 20, 1755._ + +'My cobbler is also a politician. He reads the first newspapers he can +get, desirous to be informed of the state of affairs in Europe, and of +the street robberies of London. He has not, I presume, analysed the +interests of the respective countries of Europe, nor deeply considered +those of his own; still less is he systematically informed of the +political duties of a citizen and subject. But his heart and his +habits supply these defects. He glows with zeal for the honour and +prosperity of old England; he will fight for it if there be an +occasion, and drink to it perhaps a little too often and too much. +However, is it not to be wished that there were in this country six +millions of such honest and zealous, though uninformed, citizens? + +'Our honest cobbler is thoroughly convinced, as his forefathers were +for many centuries, that one Englishman can beat three Frenchmen; and +in that persuasion he would by no means decline the trial. Now, +though in my own private opinion, deduced from physical principles, I +am apt to believe that one Englishman could beat no more than two +Frenchmen of equal size with himself, I should, however, be unwilling +to undeceive him of that useful and sanguine error, which certainly +made his countrymen triumph in the fields of Poictiers and Crecy.' + + +No. 122. THE 'WORLD.'--_May 1, 1755._ + + [Illustration] + +'As I was musing one morning, in a most disconsolate mood, with my leg +in my landlady's lap, while she darned one of my stockings, it came +into my head to collect from various books, together with my own +experience and observations, plain and wholesome rules on the subject +of _diet_, and then publish them in a neat pocket volume; for I was +always well inclined to do good to the world, however ungratefully it +used me. I doubt, Mr. FitzAdam, you will hardly forbear smiling to +hear a man who was almost starved talk gravely of compiling +observations on diet. The moment I finished my volume I ran to an +eminent bookseller near the Mansion House; he was just set down to +dinner.... As soon as the cloth was taken away I produced my +manuscript, and the bookseller put on his spectacles; but to my no +small mortification, after glancing an eye over the title-page, he +looked steadfastly upon me for near a minute in a kind of amazement I +could not account for, and then broke out in the following +manner:--"My dear sir, you are come to the very worst place in the +world for the sale of such a _performance_ as this--to think of +expecting the Court of Aldermen's permission to preach upon the +subject of _lean and fallow abstinence_ between the Royal Exchange and +Temple Bar!"' + + +No. 130. THE 'WORLD.'--_June 26, 1755._ + +Extracts from a letter written by 'Priscilla Cross-stitch,' for +herself and sisters, on the subject of the indelicacy of nankin +breeches, as indulged in by Patrick, their footman:-- + + [Illustration] + +'We give him no livery, but allow him a handsome sum yearly for +clothes; and, to _say the truth_, till within the last week he has +dressed with great propriety and decency, when all at once, to our +great confusion and distress, he has the assurance to appear at the +sideboard in a pair of filthy nankin breeches, and those made to fit +so extremely tight, that a less curious observer might have mistaken +them for no breeches at all. The shame and confusion so visible in all +our faces one would think would suggest to him the odiousness of his +dress; but the fellow appears to have thrown off every appearance of +decency, for at tea-table before company, as well as at meals, we are +forced to endure him in this abominable nankin, our modesty +conflicting with nature, to efface the idea it conveys.' + +The ladies cannot well discharge a good servant for this indiscretion; +their delicacy will not allow them to mention the dreadful word, nor +venture on allusions to the objectionable part of the apparel; nor +will they venture to entrust the task to their maids, as it might draw +them into puzzling explanations. The publication of Priscilla's +letter, with a warning to Patrick, and a general decree against +suggestive drapery, declaring it a capital offence, is intended to +relieve the ladies of their confusion. + + +No. 135. THE 'WORLD.'--_July 31, 1755._ + +'Hilarius is a downright country gentleman; a _bon vivant_; an +indefatigable sportsman. He can drink his gallon at a sitting, and +will tell you he was neither sick nor sorry in his life. Having an +estate of above five thousand a year, his strong beer, ale, and wine +cellar are always well stored; to either of which, as also to his +table, abounding in plenty of good victuals, ill-sorted and +ill-dressed, every voter and fox-hunter claims a kind of right. He +roars for the Church, which he never visits, and is eternally cracking +his coarse jests and talking obscenity to the parsons, whom if he can +make fuddled, and expose to contempt, it is the highest pleasure he +can enjoy. As for his lay friends, nothing is more common with him +than to set them and their servants dead drunk on their horses; and +should any of them be found half smothered in a ditch the next +morning, it affords him excellent diversion for a twelvemonth after. +No one is readier to club a laugh with you, but he has no ear to the +voice of distress or complaint. Thus Hilarius, on the false credit of +generosity and good humour, swims triumphantly with the stream of +applause without one single virtue in his composition.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 142. THE 'WORLD.'--_Sept. 18, 1755._ + +Extract from the letter of a lady, a lover of peace and quietness, on +the sufferings produced by her connection with people who are fond of +noise. After describing the violence practised in her own home, the +writer continues:-- + +'At last I was sent to board with a distant relation, who had been +captain of a man-of-war, who had given up his commission and retired +into the country. Unfortunately for poor me, the captain still +retained a passion for firing a great gun, and had mounted, on a +little fortification that was thrown up against the front of his +house, eleven nine-pounders, which were constantly discharged ten or +a dozen times over on the arrival of visitors, and on all holidays and +rejoicings. The noise of these cannon was more terrible to me than all +the rest, and would have rendered my continuance there intolerable, if +a young gentleman, a relation of the captain's, had not held me by the +heart-strings, and softened by the most tender courtship in the world +the horrors of these firings.' + + [Illustration] + +The unfortunate lady's married life was doomed, however, to prove a +union of noise and contention. + + +No. 150. THE 'WORLD.'--_Nov. 13, 1755._ + +'Among the ancient Romans the great offices of state were all +elective, which obliged them to be very observant of the shape of the +noses of those persons to whom they were to apply for votes. Horace +tells us that a sharp nose was an indication of satirical wit and +humour; for when speaking of his friend Virgil, though he says, "At +est bonus, ut melior non alius quisquam," yet he allows he was no +joker, and not a fit match at the sneer for those of his companions +who had sharper noses than his own. They also looked upon the short +noses, with a little inflection at the end tending upwards, as a mark +of the owner's being addicted to jibing; for the same author, talking +of Maecenas, says that though he was born of an ancient family, yet was +he not apt to turn persons of low birth into ridicule, which he +expresses by saying that "he had not a turn-up nose." Martial, in one +of his epigrams, calls this kind of nose the rhinocerotic nose, and +says that everyone in his time affected this kind of snout, as an +indication of his being _master of the talent of humour_.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. --. THE 'WORLD.'--1755. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'You may have frequently observed upon the face of that useful piece +of machinery, a clock, the minute and hour hands, in their revolution +through the twelve divisions of the day, to be not only shifting +continually from one figure to another, but to stand at times in a +quite opposite direction to their former bearings, and to each other. +Now I conceive this to be pretty much the case with that complicated +piece of mechanism, a modern female, or young woman of fashion: for as +such I was accustomed to consider that part of the species as having +no power to determine their own motions and appearances, but acted +upon by the mode, and set to any point which the party who took the +lead, or (to speak more properly) its regulator, pleased. But it has +so happened in the circumrotation of modes and fashions, that the +present set are not only moving on continually from one pretty fancy +and conceit to another, but have departed quite aside from their +former principles, dividing from each other in a circumstance wherein +they were always accustomed to unite, and uniting where there was ever +wont to be a distinction or difference.... The pride now is to get as +far away as possible, not only from the vulgar, but from one another, +and that, too, as well in the first principles of dress as in its +subordinate decorations; so that its fluctuating humour is perpetually +showing itself in some new and particular sort of cap, flounce, knot, +or tippet; and every woman that you meet affects independency and to +set up for herself.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 153. THE 'WORLD.'--_Dec. 4, 1755._ + +The writer describes a country assembly, highly perfumed with 'the +smell of the stable over which it was built, the savour of the +neighbouring kitchen, the fumes of tallow candles, rum punch, and +tobacco dispersed over the house, and the balsamic effluvia from many +sweet creatures who were dancing.' Everyone 'is pleased and desirous +of pleasing,' with the exception of some fashionable young men +blocking up the door--'whose faces I remember to have seen about town, +who would neither dance, drink tea, play at cards, nor speak to +anyone, except now and then in whispers to a young lady, who sat in +silence at the upper end of the room, in a hat and negligee, with her +back against the wall, her arms akimbo, her legs thrust out, a sneer +on her lips, a scowl on her forehead, and an invincible assurance in +her eyes. Their behaviour affronted most of the company, yet obtained +the desired effect: for I overheard several of the country ladies say, +"It was a pity they were so proud; for to be sure they were prodigious +well-bred people, and had an immense deal of wit;" a mistake they +could never have fallen into had these patterns of politeness +condescended to have entered into any conversation.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 163. THE 'WORLD.'--_Feb. 12, 1756._ + +'There was an ancient sect of philosophers, the disciples of +Pythagoras, who held that the souls of men and all other animals +existed in a state of perpetual transmigration, and that when by death +they were dislodged from one corporeal habitation, they were +immediately reinstated in another, happier or more miserable according +to their behaviour in the former. This doctrine has always appeared to +me to present a theory of retributory compensation which is very +acceptable. + +'Thus the tyrant, who by his power has oppressed his country in the +situation of a prince, in that of a slave may be compelled to do it +some service by his labour. The highwayman, who has stopped and +plundered travellers, may expiate and assist them in the shape of a +post-horse; and mighty conquerors, who have laid waste the world by +their swords, may be obliged, by a small alteration in sex and +situation, to contribute to its re-peopling. + +'For my own part, I verily believe this to be the case. I make no +doubt but Louis XIV. is now chained to an oar in the galleys of +France, and that Hernando Cortez is digging gold in the mines of Peru +or Mexico; that Dick Turpin, the highwayman, is several times a day +spurred backwards and forwards between London and Epping, and that +Lord * * * * and Sir Harry * * * * are now roasting for a city feast. +I question not but that Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar have died +many times in child-bed since their appearance in those illustrious +and depopulating characters; that Charles XII. is at this instant a +curate's wife in some remote village with a numerous and increasing +family; and that Kouli-Khan is now whipped from parish to parish in +the person of a big-bellied beggar-woman, with two children in her +arms and three at her back.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 164. THE 'WORLD.'--_Feb. 19, 1756._ + +'Mr. FitzAdam,--I am infested by a swarm of country cousins that are +come up to town for the winter, as they call it--a whole family of +them. They ferret me out from every place I go to, and it is +impossible to stand the ridicule of being seen in their company. + +'At their first coming to town I was, in a manner, obliged to gallant +them to the play, where, having seated the mother with much ado, I +offered my hand to the eldest of my five young cousins; but as she was +not dexterous enough to manage a great hoop with one hand only, she +refused my offer, and at the first step fell along. It was with great +difficulty I got her up again; but imagine, sir, my situation. I sat +like a mope all the night, not daring to look up for fear of catching +the eyes of my acquaintance, who would have laughed me out of +countenance. + + [Illustration] + +'My friends see how I am mortified at all public places; and it is a +standing jest with them, wherever they meet me, to put on the +appearance of the profoundest respect, and to ask, "Pray, sir, how do +your cousins do?" This leads me to propose something for the relief of +all those whose country cousins, like mine, expect they should +introduce them into the world; by which means we shall avoid appearing +in a very ridiculous light. I would therefore set up a person who +should be known by the name of Town Usher. His business should be to +attend closely all young ladies who were never in town before, to +teach them to walk into playhouses without falling over the benches, +to show them the tombs and the lions, and the wax-work and the giant, +and instruct them how to wonder and shut their mouths at the same +time, for I really meet with so many gapers every day in the streets +that I am continually yawning all the way I walk.' + + +No. 169. THE 'WORLD.'--_March 25, 1756._ + +'"Wanted a Curate at Beccles, in Suffolk. Inquire farther of Mr. +Strut, Cambridge and Yarmouth carrier, who inns at the Crown, the end +of Jesus Lane, Cambridge. + +'"N.B.--To be spoken with from Friday noon to Saturday morning, nine +o'clock." + +'I have transcribed this from a newspaper, Mr. FitzAdam, _verbatim et +literatim_, and must confess I look upon it as a curiosity. It would +certainly be entertaining to hear the conversation between Mr. Strut, +Cambridge and Yarmouth carrier, and the curate who offers himself. +Doubtless Mr. Strut has his orders to inquire into the young +candidate's qualifications, and to make his report to the advertising +rector before he agrees upon terms with him. But what principally +deserves our observation is the propriety of referring us to a person +who traffics constantly to that great mart of young divines, +Cambridge, where the advertiser might expect numbers to flock to the +person he employed. It is pleasant, too, to observe the "N.B." at the +end of the advertisement; it carries with it an air of significance +enough to intimidate a young divine who might possibly have been so +bold as to have put himself on an equal footing with this negotiator, +if he had not known that he was only to be spoken with at stated +hours.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 176. THE 'WORLD.'--_May 13, 1756._ + + [Illustration] + +'Going to visit an old friend at his country seat last week, I found +him at backgammon with the vicar of the parish. My friend received me +with the heartiest welcome, and introduced the doctor to my +acquaintance. This gentleman, who seemed to be about fifty, and of a +florid and healthy constitution, surveyed me all over with great +attention, and, after a slight nod of the head, sat himself down +without opening his mouth. I was a little hurt at the supercilious +behaviour of this divine, which my friend observing, told me very +pleasantly that I was rather too old to be entitled to the doctor's +complaisance, for he seldom bestowed it but upon the young and +vigorous; "but," says he, "you will know him better soon, and may +probably think it worth your while to _book_ him in the 'World,' for +you will find him altogether as odd a character as he is a worthy +one." The doctor made no reply to this raillery, but continued some +time with his eye fixed upon me, and at last shaking his head, and +turning to my friend, asked if he would play out the other hit. My +friend excused himself from engaging any more that evening, and +ordered a bottle of wine, with pipes and tobacco, to be set on the +table. The vicar filled his pipe, and drank very cordially to my +friend, still eyeing me with a seeming dislike, and neither drinking +my health nor speaking a single word to me. As I had long accustomed +myself to drink nothing but water, I called for a bottle of it, and +drank glass for glass with him; which upon the doctor's observing, he +shook his head at my friend, and in a whisper, loud enough for me to +hear, said, "Poor man! it is all over with him, I see." My friend +smiled, and answered, in the same audible whisper, "No, no, doctor, +Mr. FitzAdam intends to live as long as either of us." He then +addressed himself to me on the occurrences of the town, and drew me +into a very cheerful conversation, which lasted till I withdrew to +rest; at which time the doctor rose from his chair, drank a bumper to +my health, and, giving me a hearty shake by the hand, told me I was a +very jolly old gentleman, and that he wished to be better acquainted +with me during my stay in the country.' + + +No. 185. THE 'WORLD.'--_July 15, 1756._ + +'_Mr. FitzAdam._ + +'Sir,--My case is a little singular, and therefore I hope you will let +it appear in your paper. I should scarcely have attempted to make such +a request, had I not very strictly looked over all the works of your +predecessors, the "Tatlers," "Spectators," and "Guardians," without a +possibility of finding a parallel to my unhappy situation. + + [Illustration] + +'I am not _henpecked_; I am not _grimalkined_; I have no Mrs. Freeman, +with her Italian airs; but I have a wife more troublesome than all +three by a certain ridiculous and unnecessary devotion that she pays +to her father, amounting almost to idolatry. When I first married her, +from that specious kind of weakness which meets with encouragement and +applause only because it is called good-nature, I permitted her to do +whatever she pleased; but when I thought it requisite to pull in the +rein, I found that her having the bit in her teeth rendered the +strength of my curb of no manner of use to me. Whenever I attempted to +draw her in a little, she tossed up her head, snorted, pranced, and +gave herself such airs, that unless I let her carry me where she +pleased, my limbs if not my life were in danger.' + + +No. 191. THE 'WORLD.'--_Aug. 26, 1756._ + +'Ever since the tax upon dogs was first reported to be in agitation, I +have been under the greatest alarm for the safety of the whole race. + + [Illustration] + +'I thought it a little hard, indeed, that a man should be taxed for +having one creature in his house in which he might confide; but when I +heard that officers were to be appointed to knock out the brains of +all these honest domestics who should presume to make their appearance +in the streets without the passport of their master's name about their +necks, I became seriously concerned for them. + +'This enmity against dogs is pretended upon the apprehension of their +going mad; but an easier remedy might be applied, by abolishing the +custom (with many others equally ingenious) of stringing bottles and +stones to their tails, by which means (and in this one particular I +must give up my clients) the unfortunate sufferer becomes subject to +the persecutions of his own species, too apt to join the run against a +brother in distress. + +'But great allowance should be made for an animal who, in an intimacy +of nearly six thousand years with man, has learnt but one of his bad +qualities.' + + [Illustration] + + +No. 192. THE 'WORLD.'--_Sept. 2, 1756._ + +'Mr. FitzAdam,--Walking up St. James's Street the other day, I was +stopt by a very smart young female, who begged my pardon for her +boldness, and, looking very innocently in my face, asked me if I did +not know her. The manner of her accosting me and the extreme +prettiness of her figure made me look at her with attention; and I +soon recollected that she had been a servant-girl of my wife's, who +had taken her from the country, and, after keeping her three years in +her service, had dismissed her about two months ago. "What, Nanny," +said I, "is it you? I never saw anybody so fine in all my life!" "Oh, +sir!" says she, with the most innocent smile imaginable, bridling her +head and curtsying down to the ground, "I have been led astray since I +lived with my mistress." "Have you so, Mrs. Nanny?" said I; "and pray, +child, who is it that has led you astray?" "Oh, sir!" says she, "one +of the worthiest gentlemen in the world; and he has bought me a new +negligee for every day in the week." + +'The girl pressed me to go and look at her lodgings, which she assured +me were hard by in Bury Street, and as fine as a duchess's; but I +declined her offer, knowing that any arguments of mine in favour of +virtue and stuff gowns would avail but little against pleasure and +silk negligees. I therefore contented myself with expressing my +concern for the way of life she had entered into, and bade her +farewell. + +'Being a man inclined to speculate a little, as often as I think of +the finery of this girl, and the reason alleged for it, I cannot help +fancying, whenever I fall in company with a pretty woman, dressed out +beyond her visible circumstances, patched, painted, and ornamented to +the extent of the mode, that she is going to make me her best curtsy, +and to tell me, "Oh, sir! I have been led astray since I kept good +company."' + + +No. 202. THE 'WORLD.'--_Nov. 11, 1756._ + + [Illustration] + + 'The trumpet sounds; to war the troops advance, + Adorn'd and trim, like females to the dance + Proud of the summons, to display his might, + The gay Lothario dresses for the fight; + Studious in all the splendour to appear, + Pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war! + His well-turn'd limbs the diff'rent garbs infold, + Form'd with nice art, and glitt'ring all with gold; + Across his breast the silken sash is tied, + Behind the shoulder-knot displays its pride; + Glitt'ring with lace, the hat adorns his head, + Grac'd and distinguish'd by the smart cockade: + Conspicuous badge! which only heroes wear, + Ensign of war and fav'rite of the fair. + The graceful queue his braided tresses binds, + And ev'ry hair in its just rank confines. + Each taper leg the snowy gaiters deck, + And the bright gorget dandles from his neck. + Dress'd cap-a-pie, all lovely to the sight, + Stands the gay warrior, and expects the fight. + Rages the war; fell slaughter stalks around, + And stretches thousands breathless on the ground. + Down sinks Lothario, sent by one dire blow, + A well-dress'd hero, to the shades below. + Thus the young victim, pamper'd and elate, + To some resplendent fane is led in state, + With garlands crown'd through shouting crowds proceeds, + And, dress'd in fatal pomp, magnificently bleeds.' + + +No. 209. THE 'WORLD.'--_Dec. 30, 1756._ + +'_The Last of Mr. FitzAdam._ + +'Before these lines can reach the press, that truly great and amiable +gentleman, Mr. FitzAdam, will, in all probability, be no more. An +event so sudden and unexpected, and in which the public are so deeply +interested, cannot fail to excite the curiosity of every reader. I +shall, therefore, relate it in the most concise manner I am able. + +'The reader may remember that in the first number of the "World," and +in several succeeding papers, the good old gentleman flattered himself +that the profits of his labours would some time or other enable him to +make a genteel figure in the world, and seat himself at last in his +_one-horse chair_. The death of Mrs. FitzAdam, which happened a few +months since, as it relieved him from the great expense of +housekeeping, made him in a hurry to set up his equipage; and as the +sale of his paper was even beyond his expectations, I was one of the +first of his friends that advised him to purchase it. The equipage was +accordingly bespoke and sent home; and as he had all along promised +that his first visit in it should be to me, I expected him last +Tuesday at my country-house at Hoxton. The poor gentleman was punctual +to his appointment; and it was with great delight that I saw him from +my window driving up the road that leads to my house. Unfortunately +for him, his eye caught mine; and hoping (as I suppose) to captivate +me by his great skill in driving, he made two or three flourishes with +his whip, which so frightened the horse that he ran furiously away +with the carriage, dashed it against a post, and threw the driver from +his seat with a violence hardly to be conceived. I screamed out to my +maid, "Lord bless me!" says I, "Mr. FitzAdam is killed!" and away we +ran to the spot where he lay. At first I imagined that his head was +off, but upon drawing nearer I found it was his hat! He breathed, +indeed, which gave me hopes that he was not quite dead; but for signs +of life, he had positively none. + + [Illustration] + +'In this condition, with the help of some neighbours, we brought him +into the house, where a warm bed was quickly got ready for him; which, +together with bleeding and other helps, brought him by degrees to life +and reason. He looked round about him for some time, and at last, +seeing and knowing me, inquired after his chaise. I told him it was +safe, though a good deal damaged. "No matter, madam," he replied; "it +has done my business; it has carried me a journey from this world to +the next. I shall have no use for it again. The 'World' is now at an +end! I thought it destined to last a longer period; but the decrees of +fate are not to be resisted. It would have pleased me to have written +the last paper myself, but that task, madam, must be yours; and, +however painful it may be to your modesty, I conjure you to undertake +it.... My epitaph, if the public might be so satisfied, I would have +decent and concise. It would offend my modesty if, after the name of +FITZADAM, more were to be added than these words:-- + + '"_He was the deepest_ PHILOSOPHER, + _The wittiest_ WRITER, + AND + _The greatest_ MAN + OF THIS AGE OR NATION."' + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[25] Author of 'Fables for the Female Sex;' he probably approached the +nearest of all Gay's imitators to the excellences of that poet. Moore +also wrote successfully for the stage. He was the author of the +comedies of the 'Foundling' and 'Gil Blas,' and of the famous tragedy +of the 'Gamester.' + +[26] Alluding to the country custom of gathering May-dew. + +[27] The plate garlands of London. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +THACKERAY'S FAMILIARITY WITH THE WRITINGS OF THE SATIRICAL +ESSAYISTS--_Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the compositions of the 'Early + Humourists,' from Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the + Author's hand with original Marginal Sketches suggested by the + Text -- The 'CONNOISSEUR,' 1754 -- Introduction -- Review of + Contributors -- Paragraphs and Pencillings. + + +PREFACE TO THE 'CONNOISSEUR.' + +The 'CONNOISSEUR' was undertaken by a brace of congenial wits, George +Colman the elder, well known as a humourist and dramatic writer, and +Bonnel Thornton, both of whom at the time they obliged the public with +this publication were very young men, still pursuing their studies at +Oxford University. They appear to have entered into a partnership, of +which the following account is given in their last paper:--'We have +not only joined in the work taken altogether,' says the writer of No. +140, 'but almost every single paper is the product of both; and, as we +have laboured equally in erecting the fabric, we cannot pretend that +any one particular part is the sole workmanship of either. A hint has +perhaps been started by one of us, improved by the other, and still +further heightened by a happy coalition of sentiment in both, as fire +is struck out by a mutual collision of flint and steel. Sometimes, +like Strada's lovers conversing with the sympathetic needles, we have +written papers together at fifty miles' distance from each other. The +first rough draft or loose minutes of an essay have often travelled in +the stage-coach from town to country and from country to town; and we +have frequently waited for the postman (whom we expected to bring us +the precious remainder of a "Connoisseur") with the same anxiety we +should wait for the half of a bank note, without which the other half +would be of no value.' + +Such, indeed, was the similarity of manner, that, after some years, +the survivor, George Colman, was unable to distinguish his share from +that of his colleague in the case of those papers which were written +conjointly. Neither had an individuality of style by which conjecture +might be assisted. The prose compositions of both were of the light +and easy kind, sometimes with a dramatic turn, and sometimes with an +air of parody or imitation; and their objects were generally the same, +the existing follies and absurdities of the day, which they chastised +with ironical severity. + +George Colman, by whom it is probable the 'Connoisseur' was projected, +was the son of Thomas Colman, British Resident at the Court of the +Grand Duke of Tuscany at Pisa, by a sister of the Countess of Bath. He +was born at Florence about the year 1733, and placed at a very early +age at Westminster School, where his talents soon became conspicuous, +and where he contracted an acquaintance with Lloyd, Churchill, +Thornton, and others, who were afterwards the reigning wits of the +day, but unfortunately only employed their genius on the perishable +beings and events of the passing hour. Colman was elected to Christ's +Church in 1751, and received the degree of M.A. in the month of March, +1758. + +It was at that college he projected the 'Connoisseur,' which was +printed at Oxford by Jackson, and sent to London for publication; it +afforded the coadjutors a very desirable relaxation from their +classical studies, to which, however, Colman was particularly +attached, and which he continued to cultivate at a more advanced +period of life, his last publication being a translation of Horace's +'Art of Poetry.' + +Bonnel Thornton, the colleague of George Colman in many of his +literary labours, was the son of an apothecary, and born in Maiden +Lane, London, in the year 1724. After the usual course of education at +Westminster School, he was elected to Christ's Church, Oxford, in +1743. The first publication in which he was concerned was the +'Student, or the Oxford Monthly Miscellany,' afterwards altered to the +'Student, or Oxford and Cambridge Monthly Miscellany.' This +entertaining medley appeared in monthly numbers, printed at Oxford, +for Newbery, in St. Paul's Churchyard. Smart was the principal +conductor, but Thornton and other writers of both Universities +occasionally assisted. + +Our author, in 1752, began a periodical work, entitled 'Have at ye +All, or the Drury Lane Journal,' in opposition to Fielding's 'Covent +Garden Journal.' It contains humorous remarks on reigning follies, but +indulges somewhat too freely in personal ridicule. + +Thornton took his degree of M.A. in April, 1750, and, as his father +wished him to make physic his profession, he took the degree of +Bachelor of that faculty, May 18, 1754; but his bent, like that of +Colman, was not to the severer studies, and they about this time +'clubbed their wits' in the 'Connoisseur.' + +According to their concluding motto:-- + + Sure in the self-same mould their minds were cast, + Twins in affection, judgment, humour, taste. + +The last number facetiously alludes to the persons and pursuits of the +joint projectors, by a sort of epigrammatic description of Mr. Town. +'It has often been remarked that the reader is very desirous of +picking up some little particulars concerning the author of the book +he is perusing. To gratify this passion, many literary anecdotes have +been published, and an account of their life, character, and behaviour +has been prefixed to the works of our most celebrated writers. +Essayists are commonly expected to be their own biographers; and +perhaps our readers may require some further intelligence concerning +the authors of the "Connoisseur." But, as they have all along appeared +as a sort of _Sosias_ in literature, they cannot now describe +themselves any otherwise than as one and the same person; and can only +satisfy the curiosity of the public, by giving a short account of that +respectable personage Mr. Town, considering him as of the plural, or +rather, according to the Grecians, of the dual number. + +'Mr. Town is a _fair_,[28] black, middle-sized, _very short man_. He +_wears his own hair_, and a periwig. He is about thirty years of age, +and _not more than four-and-twenty_. He is _a student of the law_, and +a Bachelor of Physic. He was bred at the University of Oxford, where, +having taken no less than three degrees, he looks down upon many +learned professors as his inferiors; _yet, having been there but +little longer than to take the first degree of Bachelor of Arts_, it +has more than once happened that the Censor General of all England has +been reprimanded by the Censor of his college for neglecting to +furnish the usual essay, or, in the collegiate phrase, the theme of +the week. + +'This joint description of ourselves will, we hope, satisfy the reader +without any further information.... We have all the while gone on, as +it were, hand in hand together; and while we are both employed in +furnishing matter for the paper now before us, we cannot help smiling +at our thus making our exit together, like the two kings of Brentford, +smelling at one nosegay.' + +Among the few occasional contributors who assisted the originators of +the 'Connoisseur,' the foremost was the Earl of Cork, who has been +noticed as a writer in the 'World.' His communications to the organ of +Mr. Town were the greater part of Nos. 14 and 17, the letters signed +'Goliath English,' in No. 19, great part of Nos. 33 and 40, and the +letters signed 'Reginald Fitzworm,' 'Michael Krawbridge,' 'Moses +Orthodox,' and 'Thomas Vainall,' in Nos. 102, 107, 113, and 129. +Duncombe says of this nobleman, that 'for humour, innocent humour, no +one had a truer taste or better talent.' The authors, in their last +paper, acknowledge the services of their elevated coadjutor in these +words:--'Our earliest and most frequent correspondent distinguished +his favours by the signature "G. K.," and we are sorry that he will +not allow us to mention his name, since it would reflect as much +credit on our work as we are sure will redound to it from his +contributions.' + +The Rev. John Duncombe, who has also been noticed as one of the +writers in the 'World,' was a contributor to the 'Connoisseur.' The +concluding paper already quoted observes in reference to the +communications of this writer:--'The next in priority of time is a +gentleman of Cambridge, who signed himself "A. B.," and we cannot but +regret that he withdrew his assistance, after having obliged us with +the best part of the letters in Nos. 46, 49, and 52, and of the essays +in Nos. 62 and 64.' + +Of the remaining essayists concerned in this work, William Cowper, the +author of the 'Task,' is the only contributor whose name has been +recovered, and his assistance certainly sheds an additional interest +on the paper. In early life this gifted poet is said to have formed an +acquaintance with Colman and his colleague; and to this circumstance +we owe the few papers in the 'Connoisseur' which can be positively +ascribed to his pen; No. 119, 'On Keeping a Secret;' No. 134, 'Letter +from Mr. Village on the State of Country Churches, their Clergy and +Congregations;' and No. 138, 'On Conversation.' Other papers are +inferentially attributed, on internal evidence, to the same author; +No. 111, containing the character of the delicate 'Billy Suckling,' +and No. 119 are set down to him by Colman and Thornton. Nos. 13, 23, +41, 76, 81, 105, and 139, although they cannot be claimed with any +degree of certainty for his authorship, are presumably written by Mr. +Village, the cousin of Mr. Town, whose name is attached to No. 134, +which is Cowper's beyond question. + +Robert Lloyd, a minor poet, whose misfortunes in life are in some +degree referred to the temptations held out by his convivial literary +associates, also contributed his lyric compositions to Mr. Town's +paper. He was referred to, at the close of the 'Connoisseur,' as 'the +friend, a member of Trinity College, Cambridge,' who wrote the song in +No. 72, and the verses in Nos. 67, 90, 125, and 135, all of which +pieces were afterwards reprinted with his other works in the second +edition of Johnson's 'Poets.' + +'There are still remaining,' concludes Mr. Town, in his final number, +'two correspondents, who must stand by themselves, as they wrote to +us, not in an assumed character, but _in propria persona_. The first +is no less a personage than Orator Henley, who obliged us with that +truly original letter printed in No. 37.[29] The other, who favoured +us with a letter no less original, No. 70, we have reason to believe +is a Methodist teacher, and a mechanic; but we do not know either his +name or his trade.' + + +No. 7. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_March 14, 1754._ + + I loath'd the dinner, while before my face + The clown still paw'd you with a rude embrace; + But when ye toy'd and kiss'd without controul, + I turned, and screen'd my eyes behind the bowl. + +_'To Mr. Town._ + +'Sir,--I shall make no apology for recommending to your notice, as +Censor General, a fault that is too common among married people; I +mean the absurd trick of fondling before company. Love is, indeed, a +very rare ingredient in modern wedlock; nor can the parties entertain +too much affection for each other; but an open display of it on all +occasions renders them ridiculous. + + [Illustration] + +'A few days ago I was introduced to a young couple who were but lately +married, and are reckoned by all their acquaintance to be exceedingly +happy in each other. I had scarce saluted the bride, when the husband +caught her eagerly in his arms and almost devoured her with kisses. +When we were seated, they took care to place themselves close to each +other, and during our conversation he was constantly fiddling with her +fingers, tapping her cheek, or playing with her hair. At dinner, they +were mutually employed in pressing each other to taste of every dish, +and the fond appellations of "My dear," "My love," &c., were +continually bandied across the table. Soon after the cloth was +removed, the lady made a motion to retire, but the husband prevented +the compliments of the rest of the company by saying, "We should be +unhappy without her." As the bottle went round, he joined her health +to every toast, and could not help now and then rising from his chair +to press her hand, and manifest the warmth of his passion by the +ardour of his caresses. This precious fooling, though it highly +entertained them, gave me great disgust; therefore, as my company +might very well be spared, I took my leave as soon as possible.' + + +No. 8. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_March 21, 1754._ + + In outward show so splendid and so vain, + 'Tis but a gilded block without a brain. + +'I hope it will not be imputed to envy or malevolence that I here +remark on the sign hung out before the productions of Mr. FitzAdam. +When he gave his paper the title of the "World," I suppose he meant to +intimate his design of describing that part of it who are known to +account all other persons "Nobody," and are therefore emphatically +called the "World." If this was to be pictured out in the head-piece, +a lady at her toilette, a party at whist, or the jovial member of the +_Dilettanti_ tapping the world for champagne, had been the most +natural and obvious hieroglyphics. But when we see the portrait of a +philosopher poring on the globe, instead of observations on modern +life, we might more naturally expect a system of geography, or an +attempt towards a discovery of the longitude. + + [Illustration] + +'Yet, in spite of all these disadvantages, the love of pleasure, and a +few supernumerary guineas, draw the student from his literary +employment, and entice him to this theatre of noise and hurry, this +grand mart of luxury; where, as long as his purse can supply him, he +may be as idle and debauched as he pleases. I could not help smiling +at a dialogue between two of these gentlemen, which I overheard a few +nights ago at the Bedford Coffee-house. "Ha! Jack," says one, +accosting the other, "is it you? How long have you been in town?" "Two +hours." "How long do you stay?" "Ten guineas; if you'll come to +Venable's after the play is over, you'll find Tom Latin, Bob Classic, +and two or three more, who will be very glad to see you. What, you're +in town upon the sober plan at your father's? But hark ye, Frank, if +you'll call in, I'll tell your friend Harris to prepare for you. So +your servant; for I'm going to meet the finest girl upon town in the +_green-boxes_."' + + +No. 12. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_April 18, 1754._ + + Nor shall the four-legg'd culprit 'scape the law, + But at the bar hold up the guilty paw. + +The editor has been turning over that part of Lord Bolingbroke's works +in which he argues that Moses made the animals accountable for their +actions, and that they ought to be treated as moral agents. + +'These reflections were continued afterwards in my sleep; when +methought such proceedings were common in our courts of judicature. I +imagined myself in a spacious hall like the Old Bailey, where they +were preparing to try several animals, who had been guilty of offences +against the laws of the land. + +'The sessions soon opened, and the first prisoner that was brought to +the bar was a hog, who was prosecuted at the suit of the Jews, on an +indictment for burglary, in breaking into the synagogue. As it was +apprehended that religion might be affected by this cause, and as the +prosecution appeared to be malicious, the hog, though the fact was +plainly proved against him, to the great joy of all true Christians, +was allowed Benefit of Clergy. + + [Illustration] + +'An indictment was next brought against a cat for killing a favourite +canary-bird. This offender belonged to an old woman, who was believed +by the neighbourhood to be a witch. The jury, therefore, were +unanimous in their opinion that she was the devil in that shape, and +brought her in guilty. Upon which the judge formally pronounced +sentence upon her, and, I remember, concluded with these words:--"You +must be carried to the place of execution, where you are to be hanged +by the neck nine times, till you are dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, +dead, dead, dead, dead; and the fiddlers have mercy upon your +fiddle-strings!" + +'A parrot was next tried for _scandalum magnatum_. He was accused by +the chief magistrate of the city and the whole court of aldermen for +defaming them, as they passed along the street, on a public festival, +by singing, "Room for cuckolds, here comes a great company; room for +cuckolds, here comes my Lord Mayor." He had even the impudence to +abuse the whole court, by calling the jury rogues and rascals; and +frequently interrupted my lord judge in summing up the evidence, by +crying out, "You dog!" The court, however, was pleased to show mercy +to him upon the petition of his mistress, a strict Methodist; who gave +bail for his good behaviour, and delivered him over to Mr. Whitefield, +who undertook to make a thorough convert of him.' + + +No. 14. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_May 2, 1754._ + +'_To Mr. Town._ + +'Sir,--I received last week a dinner-card from a friend, with an +intimation that I should meet some very agreeable ladies. At my +arrival I found that the company consisted chiefly of females, who +indeed did me the honour to rise, but quite disconcerted me in paying +my respects by whispering to each other, and appearing to stifle a +laugh. When I was seated, the ladies grouped themselves up in a +corner, and entered on a private cabal, seemingly to discourse upon +points of great secrecy and importance, but of equal merriment and +diversion. + + [Illustration] + +'It was a continued laugh and whisper from the beginning to the end of +dinner. A whole sentence was scarce ever spoken aloud. Single words, +indeed, now and then broke forth; such as "odious, horrible, +detestable, shocking, humbug." + +'This last new-coined expression, which is only to be found in the +nonsensical vocabulary, sounds absurd and disagreeable whenever it is +pronounced; but from the mouth of a lady it is "shocking, detestable, +horrible, and odious." + +'Thus the whole behaviour of these ladies is in direct contradiction +to good manners. They laugh when they should cry, are loud when they +should be silent, and are silent when their conversation is +desirable. If a man in a select company was thus to laugh or whisper +me out of countenance, I should be apt to construe it as an affront, +and demand an explanation. As to the ladies, I would desire them to +reflect how much they would suffer if their own weapons were turned +against them, and the gentlemen should attack them with the same arts +of laughing and whispering. But, however free they may be from our +resentment, they are still open to ill-natured suspicions. They do not +consider what strange constructions may be put on these laughs and +whispers. It were, indeed, of little consequence if we only imagined +that they were taking the reputations of their acquaintance to pieces, +or abusing the company around; but when they indulge themselves in +this behaviour, some, perhaps, may be led to conclude that they are +discoursing upon topics which they are ashamed to speak of in a less +private manner.' + + +No. 19. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_June 6, 1754._ + + Poscentes vario multum diversa palato.--_Hor._ + + How ill our different tastes agree! + This will have beef, and that a fricassee! + +'The taverns about the purlieus of Covent Garden are dedicated to +Venus as well as Ceres and Liber; and you may frequently see the jolly +messmates of both sexes go in and come out in couples, like the clean +and unclean beasts in Noah's ark. These houses are equally indebted +for their support to the cook and that worthy personage whom they have +dignified with the title of procurer. These gentlemen contrive to play +into each other's hands. The first, by his high soups and rich sauces, +prepares the way for the occupation of the other; who, having reduced +the patient by a proper exercise of his art, returns him back again to +go through the same regimen as before. We may therefore suppose that +the culinary arts are no less studied here than at White's or +Pontac's. True geniuses in eating will continually strike out new +improvements; but I dare say neither of the distinguished chiefs of +these clubs ever made up a more extraordinary dish than I once +remember at the "Castle." Some bloods being in company with a +celebrated _fille de joie_, one of them pulled off her shoe, and in +excess of gallantry filled it with champagne, and drank it off to her +health. In this delicious draught he was immediately pledged by the +rest, and then, to carry the compliment still further, he ordered the +shoe itself to be dressed and served up for supper. The cook set +himself seriously to work upon it; he pulled the upper part (which was +of damask) into fine shreds, and tossed it up in a ragout; minced the +sole, cut the wooden heel into very thin slices, fried them in batter, +and placed them round the dish for garnish. The company, you may be +sure, testified their affection for the lady by eating very heartily +of this exquisite _impromptu_; and as this transaction happened just +after the French King had taken a cobbler's daughter for his mistress, +Tom Pierce (who has the style as well as art of a French cook) in his +bill politely called it, in honour of her name, _De Soulier a la +Murphy_. + + [Illustration] + +'Taverns, Mr. Town, seem contrived for promoting of luxury, while the +humbler chop-houses are designed only to satisfy the ordinary cravings +of nature. Yet at these you may meet with a variety of characters. At +Dolly's and Horseman's you commonly see the hearty lovers of +beef-steak and gill ale; and at Betty's, and the chop-houses about the +Inns of Court, a pretty maid is as inviting as the provisions. In +these common refectories you may always find the Jemmy attorney's +clerk, the prim curate, the walking physician, the captain upon +half-pay, the shabby _valet de chambre_ upon board wages, and the +foreign count or marquis in dishabille, who has refused to dine with a +duke or an ambassador. At a little eating-house in a dark alley behind +the 'Change, I once saw a grave citizen, worth a plum, order a +twopenny mess of broth with a boiled chop in it; and when it was +brought him, he scooped the crumb out of a halfpenny roll, and soaked +it in the porridge for his present meal; then carefully placing the +chop between the upper and under crust, he wrapt it up in a checked +handkerchief, and carried it off for the morrow's repast.' + + +No. 30. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_Aug. 22, 1754._ + + Thumps following thumps, and blows succeeding blows, + Swell the black eye and crush the bleeding nose; + Beneath the pond'rous fist the jaw-bone cracks, + And the cheeks ring with their redoubled thwacks. + + [Illustration] + +'The amusement of boxing, I must confess, is more immediately +calculated for the vulgar, who can have no relish for the more refined +pleasures of whist and the hazard table. Men of fashion have found out +a more genteel employment for their hands in shuffling a pack of cards +and shaking the dice; and, indeed, it will appear, upon a strict +review, that most of our fashionable diversions are nothing else but +different branches of gaming. What lady would be able to boast a rout +at her house consisting of three or four hundred persons, if they were +not to be drawn together by the charms of playing a rubber? and the +prohibition of our jubilee masquerades is hardly to be regretted, as +they wanted the most essential part of their entertainments--the E. O. +table. To this polite spirit of gaming, which has diffused itself +through all the fashionable world, is owing the vast encouragement +that is given to the turf; and horse races are esteemed only as they +afford occasion for making a bet. The same spirit likewise draws the +knowing ones together in a cockpit; and cocks are rescued from the +dunghill, and armed with gaffles, to furnish a new species of gaming. +For this reason, among others, I cannot but regret the loss of our +elegant amusements in Oxford Road and Tottenham Court. A great part of +the spectators used to be deeply interested in what was doing on the +stage, and were as earnest to make an advantage of the issue of the +battle as the champions themselves to draw the largest sum from the +box. The amphitheatre was at once a school for boxing and gaming. Many +thousands have depended upon a match; the odds have often risen at a +black eye; a large bet has been occasioned by a "cross-buttock;" and +while the house has resounded with the lusty bangs of the combatants, +it has at the same time echoed with the cries of "Five to one! six to +one! ten to one!"' + + +No. 34. THE 'CONNOISSEUR.'--_Sept. 19, 1754._ + + Reprehendere coner, + Quae gravis AEsopus, quae doctus Roscius egit.--_Hor._ + + Whene'er he bellows, who but smiles at Quin, + And laughs when Garrick skips like harlequin? + + [Illustration] + +'I have observed that the tragedians of the last age studied _fine_ +speaking, in consequence of which all their action consisted in little +more than strutting with one leg before the other, and waving one or +both arms in a continual see-saw. Our present actors have, perhaps, +run into a contrary extreme; their gestures sometimes resemble those +afflicted with St. Vitus's dance, their whole frame appears to be +convulsed, and I have seen a player in the last act so miserably +distressed that a deaf spectator would be apt to imagine he was +complaining of the colic or the toothache. This has also given rise to +that unnatural custom of throwing the body into various strange +_attitudes_. There is not a passion necessary to be expressed but has +produced dispositions of the limbs not to be found in any of the +paintings or sculptures of the best masters. A graceful gesture and +easy deportment is, indeed, worthy the care of every performer; but +when I observe him writhing his body into more unnatural contortions +than a tumbler at Sadler's Wells, I cannot help being disgusted to see +him "imitate humanity so abominably." Our pantomime authors have +already begun to reduce our comedies into grotesque scenes; and, if +this taste for _attitude_ should continue to be popular, I would +recommend it to those ingenious gentlemen to adapt our best tragedians +to the same use, and entertain us with the jealousy of Othello in dumb +show or the tricks of Harlequin Hamlet. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[28] The characteristics printed in italics belong to George Colman. + +[29] The orator's epistle is in reality couched in violent and +opprobrious language; and No. 70 is equally abusive and +uncomplimentary to Mr. Town. The communications of both of the +reverend gentlemen pertain to the bellicose order, and threaten +breaches of the peace. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +THACKERAY'S RESEARCHES AMONGST THE WRITINGS OF THE EARLY +ESSAYISTS--_Continued_. + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of the 'Humourists,' from + Thackeray's Library; illustrated by the Author's hand with + Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- The 'RAMBLER,' 1749-50 + -- Introduction -- Its Author, Dr. Johnson -- Paragraphs and + Pencillings. + + +PREFACE TO THE 'RAMBLER.' + +When, says Dr. Chalmers, Dr. Johnson undertook to write this justly +celebrated paper, he had many difficulties to encounter. If lamenting +that, during the long period which had elapsed since the conclusion of +the writings of Addison, vice and folly had begun to recover from +depressing contempt, he wished again to rectify public taste and +manners--to 'give confidence to virtue and ardour to truth'--he knew +that the popularity of these writings had constituted them a precedent +which his genius was incapable of following, and from which it would +be dangerous to depart. In the character of an essayist he was, +hitherto, unknown to the public. He had written nothing by which a +favourable judgment could be formed of his success in a species of +composition which seemed to require the ease, the vivacity, and humour +of polished life; and he had probably often heard it repeated that +Addison and his colleagues had anticipated all the subjects fit for +popular essays; that he might, indeed, aim at varying or improving +what had been said before, but could stand no chance of being esteemed +an original writer, or of striking the imagination by new and +unexpected reflections and incidents. He was likewise, perhaps, aware +that he might be reckoned what he about this time calls himself--'a +retired and uncourtly scholar,' unfit to describe, because precluded +from the observation of, refined society and manners. + +But they who pride themselves on long and accurate knowledge of the +world are not aware how little of that knowledge is necessary in order +to expose vice or detect absurdity; nor can they believe that evidence +far short of ocular demonstration is amply sufficient for the purposes +of the wit and the novelist. Dr. Johnson appeared in the character of +a moral teacher, with powers of mind beyond the common lot of man, and +with a knowledge of the inmost recesses of the human heart such as +never was displayed with more elegance or stronger conviction. Though +in some respects a recluse, he had not been an inattentive observer of +human life; and he was now of an age at which probably as much is +known as can be known, and at which the full vigour of his faculties +enabled him to divulge his experience and his observations with a +certainty that they were neither immature nor fallacious. He had +studied, and he had noted on the varieties of human character; and it +is evident that the lesser improprieties of conduct and errors of +domestic life had often been the subjects of his secret ridicule. + +Previously to the commencement of the 'Rambler' he had drawn the +outlines of many essays, of which specimens may be seen in the +biographies of Sir John Hawkins and Boswell; and it is probable that +the sentiments of all these papers had been long floating in his mind. +With such preparation he began the 'Rambler,' without any +communication with his friends or desire of assistance. Whether he +proposed the scheme himself does not appear; but he was fortunate in +forming an engagement with Mr. John Payne, a bookseller in Paternoster +Row (and afterwards the chief accountant of the Bank of England), a +man with whom he lived many years in habits of friendship, and who, on +the present occasion, treated his author with liberality. He engaged +to pay two guineas for each paper, or four guineas per week, which, at +that time, must have been to Johnson a very considerable sum; and he +admitted him to a share of the future profits of the work when it +should be collected into volumes, which share Johnson afterwards sold. +It has been observed that objections have been offered to the name +'Rambler.' Johnson's account to Sir Joshua Reynolds forms, probably, +as good an excuse as so trifling a circumstance demands. 'What _must_ +be done, sir, _will_ be done. When I was to begin publishing that +paper, I was at a loss how to name it. I sat down at night upon my +bedside, and resolved that I would not go to sleep till I had fixed +its title. The "Rambler" seemed the best that occurred, and I took +it.' The Italians have literally translated this name '_Il +Vagabondo_.' + +The first paper was published on Tuesday, March 20, 1749-50, and the +work continued without the least interruption every Tuesday and +Saturday until Saturday, March 14, 1752, on which day it closed. Each +number was handsomely printed on a sheet and a half of fine paper, at +the price of twopence, and with great typographical accuracy, not +above a dozen errors occurring in the whole work--a circumstance the +more remarkable, because the copy was written in haste, as the time +urged, and sent to the press without being revised by the author. When +we consider that, in the whole progress of the work, the sum of +assistance he received scarcely amounted to five papers, we must +wonder at the fertility of a mind engaged during the same period on +that stupendous labour, the English Dictionary, and frequently +distracted by disease and anguish. Other essayists have had the choice +of their days, and their happy hours, for composition; but Johnson +knew no remission, although he very probably would have been glad of +it, and yet continued to write with unabated vigour, although even +this disappointment might be supposed to have often rendered him +uneasy; and his natural indolence--not the indolence of will, but of +constitution--would, in other men, have palsied every effort. Towards +the conclusion there is so little of that 'falling off' visible in +some works of the same kind, that it might probably have been extended +much further, had the encouragement of the public borne any proportion +to its merits. + +The assistance Johnson received was very trifling: Richardson, the +novelist, wrote No. 97. The four letters in No. 10 were written by +Miss Mulso, afterwards Mrs. Chapone, who also contributed the story of +'Fidelia' to the 'Adventurer,' a paper conducted by Doctors +Hawkesworth, Johnson, Thornton, and Warton, which succeeded the +'Rambler.' No. 30 was written by Miss Catharine Talbot, and Nos. 44 +and 100 were written by Mrs. Elizabeth Carter. + +The 'Rambler' made its way very slowly into the world. All scholars, +all men of taste, saw its excellence at once, and crowded round the +author to solicit his friendship and relieve his anxieties. It +procured him a multitude of friends and admirers among men +distinguished for rank as well as genius, and it constituted a +perpetual apology for that rugged and uncourtly manner which sometimes +rendered his conversation formidable, and, to those who looked from +the book to the man, presented a contrast that would no doubt +frequently excite amazement. + +Still, it must be confessed, there were at first many prejudices +against the 'Rambler' to be overcome. The style was new; it appeared +harsh, involved, and perplexed; it required more than a transitory +inspection to be understood; it did not suit those who run as they +read, and who seldom return to a book if the hour it helped to +dissipate can be passed away in more active pleasures. When reprinted +in volumes, however, the sale gradually increased; it was recommended +by the friends of religion and literature as a book by which a man +might learn to think; and the author lived to see ten large editions +printed in England, besides those which were clandestinely printed in +other parts of the kingdom and in America. Since Johnson's death the +number of editions has been multiplied. + +Sir John Hawkins informs us that these essays hardly ever underwent a +Revision before they were sent to the press, and adds: 'The original +manuscripts of the "Rambler" have passed through my hands, and by the +perusal of them I am warranted to say, as was said of Shakespeare by +the players of that time, that he _never blotted out a line_, and I +believe without the retort which Ben Jonson made to them: "Would he +had blotted out a thousand!"' + +However, Dr. Johnson's desire to carry his essays, which he regarded +in some degree as his monument to posterity, as near perfection as his +labours could achieve, induced him to devote such attention to the +preparation of the 'Ramblers' for the collected series that the +alterations in the second and third editions far exceed six +thousand--a number which may perhaps justify the use of the expression +'re-wrote,' although it must not be taken in its literal acceptation. + +With respect to the plan of the 'Rambler,' Dr. Johnson may surely be +said to have executed what he intended: he has successfully attempted +the propagation of truth, and boldly maintained the dignity of +virtue. He has accumulated in this work a treasury of moral science +which will not be soon exhausted. He has laboured to refine our +language to grammatical purity, and to clear it from colloquial +barbarisms, licentious idioms, and irregular combinations. Something +he has certainly added to the elegance of its construction, and +something to the harmony of its cadence. + +Comparisons have been formed between the 'Rambler' and its +predecessors, or rather between the genius of Johnson and Addison, but +have generally ended in discovering a total want of resemblance. As +they were both original writers, they must be tried, if tried at all, +by laws applicable to their respective attributes. But neither had a +predecessor. We find no humour like Addison's, no energy and dignity +like Johnson's. They had nothing in common but moral excellence of +character; they could not have exchanged styles for an hour. Yet there +is one respect in which we must give Addison the preference--more +general utility. His writings would have been understood at any +period; Johnson's are more calculated for an improved and liberal +education. In both, however, what was peculiar was natural. The +earliest of Dr. Johnson's works confirm this; from the moment he could +write at all he wrote in stately periods, and his conversation from +first to last abounded in the peculiarities of his composition. + +Addison principally excelled in the observation of manners, and in +that exquisite ridicule he threw on the minute improprieties of life. +Johnson, although not ignorant of life or manners, could not descend +to familiarities with tuckers and commodes, with furs and +hoop-petticoats. A scholarly professor and a writer from necessity, he +loved to bring forward subjects so near and dear as the +disappointments of authors--the dangers and miseries of literary +eminence--anxieties of literature--contrariety of criticism--miseries +of patronage--value of fame--causes of the contempt of the +learned--prejudices and caprices of criticism--vanity of an author's +expectations--meanness of dedications--necessity of literary courage, +and all those other subjects which relate to authors and their +connection with the public. Sometimes whole papers are devoted to what +may be termed the personal concerns of men of literature, and +incidental reflections are everywhere interspersed for the instruction +or caution of the same class. + +When he treats of common life and manners it has been observed he +gives to the lowest of his correspondents the same style and lofty +periods; and it may also be noticed that the ridicule he attempts is +in some cases considerably heightened by the very want of +accommodation of character. Yet it must be allowed that the levity and +giddiness of coquettes and fine ladies are expressed with great +difficulty in the Johnsonian language. It has been objected also that +even the names of his ladies have very little of the air of either +court or city, as Zosima, Properantia, &c. Every age seems to have its +peculiar names of fiction. In the 'Spectators,' 'Tatlers,' &c., the +Damons and Phillises, the Amintors and Claras, &c., were the +representatives of every virtue and folly. + +These were succeeded by the Philamonts, Tenderillas, Timoleons, +Seomanthes, Pantheas, Adrastas, and Bellimantes, names to which Mrs. +Heywood gave currency in her 'Female Spectator,' and from which at no +great distance of time Dr. Johnson appears to have taken his +Zephyrettas, Trypheruses, Nitellas, Misotheas, Vagarios, and +Flirtillas. + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'RAMBLER.' + +BY DR. SAMUEL JOHNSON, LL.D. + +VOL. I., 1750. + +'_To the "Rambler."_ + +'Sir,--As you seem to have devoted your labours to virtue, I cannot +forbear to inform you of one species of cruelty with which the life of +a man of letters perhaps does not often make him acquainted, and +which, as it seems to produce no other advantage to those that +practise it than a short gratification of thoughtless vanity, may +become less common when it has been once exposed in its various forms, +and in full magnitude. + + [Illustration] + +'I am the daughter of a country gentleman, whose family is numerous, +and whose state, not at first sufficient to supply us with affluence, +has been lately so impaired by an unsuccessful lawsuit, that all the +younger children are obliged to try such means as their education +affords them for procuring the necessaries of life. Distress and +curiosity concurred to bring me to London, where I was received by a +relation with the coldness which misfortune generally finds. A week--a +long week--I lived with my cousin before the most vigilant inquiry +could procure us the least hopes of a place, in which time I was much +better qualified to bear all the vexations of servitude. The first two +days she was content to pity me, and only wished I had not been quite +so well bred; but people must comply with their circumstances. This +lenity, however, was soon at an end, and for the remaining part of +the week I heard every hour of the pride of the family, the obstinacy +of my father, and of people better born than myself that were common +servants. + +'At last, on Saturday noon, she told me, with very visible +satisfaction, that Mrs. Bombasine, the great silk-mercer's lady, +wanted a maid, and a fine place it would be, for there would be +nothing to do but to clean my mistress's room, get up her linen, dress +the young ladies, wait at tea in the morning, taking care of a little +miss just come from nurse, and then sit down to my needle. But madam +was a woman of great spirit, and would not be contradicted, and +therefore I should take care, for good places are not easily to be +got. + + [Illustration] + +'With these cautions I waited on Madame Bombasine, of whom the first +sight gave me no ravishing ideas. She was two yards round the waist, +her voice was at once loud and squeaking, and her face brought to my +mind the picture of the full moon. "Are you the young woman," says +she, "that are come to offer yourself? It is strange when people of +substance want a servant how soon it is the town talk. But they know +they shall have a bellyful that live with me. Not like people that +live at the other end of the town, we dine at one o'clock. But I never +take anybody without a character; what friends do you come of?" I then +told her that my father was a gentleman, and that we had been +unfortunate. "A great misfortune indeed to come to me and have three +meals a day! So your father was a gentleman, and you are a +gentlewoman, I suppose--such gentlewomen!" "Madam, I did not mean to +claim any exemptions; I only answered your inquiry." "Such +gentlewomen! people should set up their children to good trades, and +keep them off the parish. Pray go to the other end of the town; there +are gentlewomen, if they would pay their debts; I am sure we have lost +enough by gentlewomen." Upon this her broad face grew broader with +triumph, and I was afraid she would have taken me for the pleasure of +continuing her insult; but happily the next word was, "Pray, Mrs. +Gentlewoman, troop downstairs." You may believe I obeyed her. + +'After numerous misadventures of the same description, it was of no +purpose that the refusal was declared by me never to be on my side; I +was reasoning against interest and against stupidity; and therefore I +comforted myself with the hope of succeeding better in my next +attempt, and went to Mrs. Courtly, a very fine lady, who had routs at +her house, and saw the best company in town. + + [Illustration] + +'I had not waited two hours before I was called up, and found Mr. +Courtly and his lady at piquet in the height of good humour. This I +looked on as a favourable sign, and stood at the lower end of the +room, in expectation of the common questions. At last Mr. Courtly +called out, after a whisper, "Stand facing the light, that one may see +you." I changed my place, and blushed. They frequently turned their +eyes upon me, and seemed to discover many subjects of merriment, for +at every look they whispered, and laughed with the most violent +agitations of delight. At last Mr. Courtly cried out, "Is that colour +your own, child?" "Yes," said the lady, "if she has not robbed the +kitchen hearth." It was so happy a conceit that it renewed the storm +of laughter, and they threw down their cards in hopes of better sport. +The lady then called me to her, and began with affected gravity to +inquire what I could do. "But first turn about, and let us see your +fine shape; well, what are you fit for, Mrs. Mum? You would find your +tongue, I suppose, in the kitchen." "No, no," says Mrs. Courtly, "the +girl's a good girl yet, but I am afraid a brisk young fellow, with +fine tags on his shoulder----" "Come, child, hold up your head; what? +you have stole nothing." "Not yet," said the lady; "but she hopes to +steal your heart quickly." Here was a laugh of happiness and triumph, +prolonged by the confusion which I could no longer repress. At last +the lady recollected herself: "Stole? no--but if I had her I should +watch her; for that downcast eye----Why cannot you look people in the +face?" "Steal!" says her husband, "she would steal nothing but, +perhaps, a few ribbons before they were left off by my lady." "Sir," +answered I, "why should you, by supposing me a thief, insult one from +whom you have received no injury?" "Insult!" says the lady; "are you +come here to be a servant, you saucy baggage, and talk of insulting? +What will this world come to if a gentleman may not jest with a +servant? Well, such servants! pray be gone, and see when you will have +the honour to be so insulted again. Servants insulted--a fine time! +Insulted! Get downstairs, you slut, or the footman shall insult you."' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 18. + +'There is no observation more frequently made by such as employ +themselves in surveying the conduct of mankind than that marriage, +though the dictate of nature, and the institute of Providence, is yet +very often the cause of misery, and that those who enter into that +state can seldom forbear to express their repentance, and their envy +of those whom either chance or caution hath withheld from it. + + [Illustration] + +'One of the first of my acquaintances that resolved to quit the +unsettled, thoughtless condition of a bachelor was Prudentius, a man +of slow parts, but not without knowledge or judgment in things which +he had leisure to consider gradually before he determined them. This +grave considerer found by deep meditation that a man was no loser by +marrying early, even though he contented himself with a less fortune, +for, estimating the exact worth of annuities, he found that +considering the constant diminution of the value of life, with the +probable fall of the interest of money, it was not worse to have ten +thousand pounds at the age of two-and-twenty years than a much larger +fortune at thirty; for many opportunities, says he, occur of improving +money which, if a man misses, he may not afterwards recover. + +'Full of these reflections, he threw his eyes about him, not in search +of beauty or elegance, dignity or understanding, but of a woman with +ten thousand pounds. Such a woman, in a wealthy part of the kingdom, +it was not difficult to find; and by artful management with her +father--whose ambition was to make his daughter a gentlewoman--my +friend got her, as he boasted to us in confidence two days after his +marriage, for a settlement of seventy-three pounds a year less than +her fortune might have claimed, and less than himself would have given +if the fools had been but wise enough to delay the bargain. + +'Thus at once delighted with the superiority of his parts and the +augmentation of his fortune, he carried Furia to his own house, in +which he never afterwards enjoyed one hour of happiness. For Furia was +a wretch of mean intellects, violent passions, a strong voice, and low +education, without any sense of happiness but that which consisted in +eating, and counting money. Furia was a scold. They agreed in the +desire of wealth, but with this difference: that Prudentius was for +growing rich by gain, Furia by parsimony. Prudentius would venture his +money with chances very much in his favour; but Furia, very wisely +observing that what they had was, while they had it, _their own_, +thought all traffic too great a hazard, and was for putting it out at +low interest upon good security. Prudentius ventured, however, to +insure a ship at a very unreasonable price; but, happening to lose his +money, was so tormented with the clamours of his wife that he never +durst try a second experiment. He has now grovelled seven-and-forty +years under Furia's direction, who never once mentioned him, since his +bad luck, by any other name than that of the "usurer."' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol, I. No. 24. + + Nemo in sese tentat descendere.--_Persius._ + + None, none descends into himself.--_Dryden._ + +'Among the precepts or aphorisms admitted by general consent and +inculcated by repetition, there is none more famous, among the masters +of ancient wisdom, than that compendious lesson, Gnothi seauton--_Be +acquainted with thyself_--ascribed by some to an oracle, +and others to Chilo of Lacedaemon. + + [Illustration] + +'We might have had more satisfaction concerning the original import of +this celebrated sentence, if history had informed us whether it was +uttered as a general instruction to mankind, or as a particular +caution to some private inquirer; whether it was applied to some +single occasion, or laid down as the universal rule of life. + +'The great praise of Socrates is that he drew the wits of Greece, by +his instruction and example, from the vain pursuit of natural +philosophy to moral inquiries, and turned their thoughts from stars +and tides, and matter and motion, upon the various modes of virtue and +relations of life. + +'The great fault of men of learning is still that they offend against +this rule, and appear willing to study anything rather than +themselves; for which reason they are often despised by those with +whom they imagine themselves above comparison. + +'Eupheues,[30] with great parts of extensive knowledge, has a clouded +aspect and ungracious form, yet it has been his ambition, from his +first entrance into life, to distinguish himself by particularities in +his dress--to outvie beaus in embroidery, to import new trimming, and +to be foremost in the fashion. Eupheues has turned on his exterior +appearance that attention which would have always produced esteem had +it been fixed upon his mind; and, though his virtues and abilities +have preserved him from the contempt which he has so diligently +solicited, he has at least raised one impediment to his reputation, +since all can judge of his dress, but few of his understanding, and +many who discern that he is a fop are unwilling to believe that he can +be wise. + +'There is one instance in which the ladies are particularly unwilling +to observe the rule of Chilo. They are desirous to hide from +themselves the advance of age, and endeavour too frequently to supply +the sprightliness and bloom of youth by artificial beauty and forced +vivacity. + + [Illustration] + +'They hope to inflame the heart by glances which have lost their fire, +or melt it by laughter which is no longer delicate; they play over +airs which pleased at a time when they were expected only to please, +and forget that airs in time ought to give place to virtues. They +continue to trifle, because they could once trifle agreeably, till +those who shared their early pleasures are withdrawn to more serious +engagements, and are scarcely awakened from their dream of perpetual +youth by the scorn of those whom they endeavour to rival.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 34. + + Non sine vano + Aurarum et silvae metu.--_Hor._ + + Alarm'd with every rising gale, + In every wood, in every vale.--_Elphinston._ + +The 'Rambler' inserts a letter describing how the end of those ladies +whose chief ambition is to please is often missed by absurd and +injudicious endeavours to obtain distinction, and who mistake +cowardice for elegance, and imagine all delicacy consists in refusing +to be pleased. A country gentleman relates the circumstances of his +visit to _Anthea_, a heiress, whose birth and beauty render her a +desirable match:-- + +'Dinner was now over, and the company proposed that we should pursue +our original design of visiting the gardens. Anthea declared that she +could not imagine what pleasure we expected from the sight of a few +green trees and a little gravel, and two or three pits of clear water; +that, for her part, she hated walking till the cool of the evening, +and thought it very likely to rain, and again wished she had stayed at +home. We then reconciled ourselves to our disappointment, and began to +talk on common subjects, when Anthea told us since we came to see the +gardens she would not hinder our satisfaction. We all rose, and walked +through the enclosures for some time with no other trouble than the +necessity of watching lest a frog should hop across the way, which, +Anthea told us, would certainly kill her if she should happen to see +him. + + [Illustration] + +'Frogs, as it fell out, there were none; but when we were within a +furlong of the gardens Anthea saw some sheep, and heard the wether +clink his bell, which she was certain was not hung upon him for +nothing, and therefore no assurances nor entreaties should prevail +upon her to go a step further: she was sorry to disappoint the +company, but her life was dearer to her than ceremony. + +'We came back to the inn, and Anthea now discovered that there was no +time to be lost in returning, for the night would come upon us and a +thousand misfortunes might happen in the dark. The horses were +immediately harnessed, and Anthea, having wondered what could seduce +her to stay so long, was eager to set out. But we had now a new scene +of terror; every man we saw was a robber, and we were ordered +sometimes to drive hard--lest a traveller, whom we saw behind, should +overtake us--and sometimes to stop, lest we should come up to him who +was passing before us. She alarmed many an honest man by begging him +to spare her life as he passed by the coach, and drew me into fifteen +quarrels with persons who increased her fright by kindly stopping to +inquire whether they could assist us. At last we came home, and she +told her company next day what a pleasant ride she had been taking.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 37. + + Piping on their reeds the shepherds go, + Nor fear an ambush, nor suspect a foe.--_Pope._ + + Canto quae solitus, si quando armenta vocabat, + Amphion Dircaeus.--_Virg._ + + Such strains I sing as once Amphion play'd, + When listening flocks the powerful call obey'd.--_Elphinston._ + + [Illustration] + +'The satisfaction received from pastoral writing not only begins +early, but lasts long; we do not, as we advance into the intellectual +world, throw it away among other childish amusements and pastimes, but +willingly return to it at any hour of indolence and relaxation. The +images of true pastoral have always the power of exciting delight, +because the works of nature, from which they are drawn, have always +the same order and beauty, and continue to force themselves upon our +thoughts, being at once obvious to the most careless regard and more +than adequate to the strongest reason and severest contemplation. Our +inclination to stillness and tranquillity is seldom much lessened by +long knowledge of the busy and tumultuous part of the world. In +childhood we turn our thoughts to the country as to the origin of +pleasure; we recur to it in old age as a part of rest, and, perhaps, +with that secondary and adventitious gladness which every man feels on +reviewing those places, or recollecting those occurrences, that +contribute to his youthful enjoyments, and bring him back to the prime +of life, when the world was gay with the bloom of novelty, when mirth +wantoned at his side, and hope sparkled before him.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 55. + + Now near to death that comes but slow, + Now thou art stepping down below; + Sport not among the blooming maids, + But think on ghosts and empty shades: + What suits with _Phoebe_ in her bloom, + Grey _Chloris_, will not thee become; + A bed is different from a tomb.--_Creech._ + +Parthenia addresses a letter to the 'Rambler' on the subject of the +troubles she suffers from the frivolous desire which her mother, a +widow, has contracted to practise the follies of youth, the pursuit of +which she finds fettered by the presence of Parthenia, whom she is +inclined to regard not as her daughter, but as a rival dangerous to +the admiration which the elder lady would confine to herself. + +After a year of decent mourning had been devoted to deploring the loss +of Parthenia's father--'All the officiousness of kindness and folly +was busied to change the conduct of the widow. She was at one time +alarmed with censure, and at another fired with praise. She was told +of balls where others shone only because she was absent, of new +comedies to which all the town was crowding, and of many ingenious +ironies by which domestic diligence was made contemptible. + +'It is difficult for virtue to stand alone against fear on one side +and pleasure on the other, especially when no actual crime is +proposed, and prudence itself can suggest many reasons for relaxation +and indulgence. My mamma was at last persuaded to accompany Mrs. Giddy +to a play. She was received with a boundless profusion of compliments, +and attended home by a very fine gentleman. Next day she was, with +less difficulty, prevailed on to play at Mrs. Gravely's, and came home +gay and lively, for the distinctions that had been paid her awakened +her vanity, and good luck had kept her principles of frugality from +giving her disturbance. She now made her second entrance into the +world, and her friends were sufficiently industrious to prevent any +return to her former life; every morning brought messages of +invitation, and every evening was passed in places of diversion, from +which she for some time complained that she had rather be absent. In a +short time she began to feel the happiness of acting without control, +of being unaccountable for her hours, her expenses, and her company, +and learned by degrees to drop an expression of contempt or pity at +the mention of ladies whose husbands were suspected of restraining +their pleasures or their play, and confessed that she loved to go and +come as she pleased. + + [Illustration] + +'My mamma now began to discover that it was impossible to educate +children properly at home. Parents could not have them always in their +sight; the society of servants was contagious; company produced +boldness and spirit; emulation excited industry; and a large school +was naturally the first step into the open world. A thousand other +reasons she alleged, some of little force in themselves, but so well +seconded by pleasure, vanity, and idleness, that they soon overcame +all the remaining principles of kindness and piety, and both I and my +brother were despatched to boarding-schools. + + [Illustration] + +'When I came home again, after sundry vacations, and, with the usual +childish alacrity, was running to my mother's embrace, she stopped me +with exclamations at the suddenness and enormity of my growth, +having, she said, never seen anybody shoot up so much at my age. + +'She was sure no other girls spread at that rate, and she hated to +have children look like women before their time. I was disconcerted, +and retired without hearing anything more than "Nay, if you are angry, +Madam Steeple, you may walk off." + +'She had yet the pleasure of dressing me like a child, and I know not +when I should have been thought fit to change my habit, had I not been +rescued by a maiden aunt of my father, who could not bear to see women +in hanging-sleeves, and therefore presented me with brocade for a +gown, for which I should have thought myself under great obligations, +had she not accompanied her favour with some hints that my mamma might +now consider her age, and give me her earrings, which she had shown +long enough in public places. + +'Thus I live in a state of continual persecution only because I was +born ten years too soon, and cannot stop the course of nature or of +time, but am unhappily a woman before my mother can willingly cease to +be a girl. I believe you would contribute to the happiness of many +families if by any arguments, or persuasions, you could make mothers +ashamed of rivalling their children; if you could show them that +though they may refuse to grow wise they must inevitably grow old, and +that the proper solaces of age are not music and compliments, but +wisdom and devotion; that those who are so unwilling to quit the world +will soon be driven from it; and that it is, therefore, their interest +to retire while there yet remain a few hours for nobler +employments.--I am, &c., + + 'PARTHENIA.' + + +The 'Rambler.'--Vol. I. No. 56. + + Valeat res ludicra, si me + Palma negata macrum, donata reducit opimum.--_Hor._ + + Farewell the stage; for humbly I disclaim + Such fond pursuits of pleasure or of fame, + If I must sink in shame, or swell with pride, + As the gay psalm is granted or denied.--_Francis._ + +'I am afraid that I may be taxed with insensibility by many of my +correspondents, who believe their contributions neglected. And, +indeed, when I sit before a pile of papers, of which each is the +production of laborious study, and the offspring of a fond parent, I, +who know the passions of an author, cannot remember how long they have +been in my boxes unregarded without imagining to myself the various +changes of sorrow, impatience, and resentment which the writers must +have felt in this tedious interval. + + [Illustration] + +'These reflections are still more awakened when, upon perusal, I find +some of them calling for a place in the next paper, a place which they +have never yet obtained; others writing in a style of superiority and +haughtiness as secure of deference and above fear of criticism; others +humbly offering their weak assistance with softness and submission, +which they believe impossible to be resisted; some introducing their +compositions with a menace of the contempt he that refuses them will +incur; others applying privately to the booksellers for their interest +and solicitation; every one by different ways endeavouring to secure +the bliss of publication. I cannot but consider myself placed in a +very incommodious situation, where I am forced to repress confidence +which it is pleasing to indulge, to repay civilities with appearances +of neglect, and so frequently to offend those by whom I was never +offended.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 59. + + Strangulat inclusus dolor, atque exaestuat intus, + Cogitur et vires multiplicare suas.--_Ovid._ + + In vain by secrecy we would assuage + Our cares; conceal'd they gather tenfold rage.--_Lewis._ + + [Illustration] + +'It is common to distinguish men by the names of animals which they +are supposed to resemble. Thus a hero is frequently termed a lion, and +a statesman a fox; an extortioner gains the appellation of vulture, +and a fop the title of monkey. There is also among the various +anomalies of character which a survey of the world exhibits, a species +of beings in human form which may be properly marked out as the +screech-owls of mankind. + +'These screech-owls seem to be settled in an opinion that the great +business of life is to complain, and that they were born for no other +purpose than to disturb the happiness of others, to lessen the little +comforts and shorten the short pleasures of our condition, by painful +remembrances of the past, or melancholy prognostics of the future; +their only care is to crush the rising hope, to damp the kindling +transport, and alloy the golden hours of gaiety with the hateful dross +of grief and suspicion. + +'I have known Suspirius, the screech-owl, fifty-eight years and four +months, and have never passed an hour with him in which he has not +made some attack upon my quiet. When we were first acquainted, his +great topic was the misery of youth without riches; and whenever we +walked out together, he solaced me with a long enumeration of +pleasures, which, as they were beyond the reach of my fortune, were +without the verge of my desires, and which I should never have +considered as the objects of a wish, had not his unreasonable +representations placed them in my sight. + +'Suspirius has, in his time, intercepted fifteen authors on their way +to the stage; persuaded nine-and-thirty merchants to retire from a +prosperous trade for fear of bankruptcy; broke off a hundred and +thirty matches by prognostications of unhappiness; and enabled the +small-pox to kill nineteen ladies by perpetual alarms of the loss of +beauty. + +'Whenever my evil star brings us together he never fails to represent +to me the folly of my pursuits, and informs me we are much older than +when we began our acquaintance; that the infirmities of decrepitude +are coming fast upon me; that whatever I now get I shall enjoy but a +little time; that fame is to a man tottering on the edge of the grave +of very little importance; and that the time is at hand when I ought +to look for no other pleasures than a good dinner and an easy chair.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. I. No. 61. + + Falsus honor juvat, et mendax infamia terret, + Quem, nisi mendosum et mendacem?--_Hor._ + + False praise can charm, unreal shame control + Whom but a vicious or a sickly soul?--_Francis._ + +Ruricola, who dwells in the country, is writing upon the airs which +those, whose pursuits take them to London, assume on their return to +their more homely associates; and he relates in particular the +pretensions of one _Frolic_, who has endowed himself with importance +upon the mysterious and self-conferred reputation of _knowing town_. + + [Illustration] + +'My curiosity,' declares Ruricola, 'has been most engaged by the +recital of his own adventures and achievements. I have heard of the +union of various characters in single persons, but never met with such +a constellation of great qualities as this man's narrative affords. +Whatever has distinguished the hero, whatever has elevated the wit, +whatever has endeared the lover, are all concentrated in Mr. Frolic, +whose life has, for seven years, been a regular interchange of +intrigues, dangers, and waggeries, and who has distinguished himself +in every character that can be feared, envied, or admired. + +'I question whether all the officers in the royal navy can bring +together, from all their journals, a collection of so many wonderful +escapes as this man has known upon the Thames, on which he has been a +thousand times on the point of perishing, sometimes by the terrors of +foolish women in the same boat, sometimes by his own acknowledged +imprudence in passing the river in the dark, and sometimes by +shooting the bridge, under which he has encountered mountainous waves +and dreadful cataracts. + +'Not less has been his temerity by land, nor fewer his hazards. He has +reeled with giddiness on the top of the Monument; he has crossed the +street amidst the rush of coaches; he has been surrounded by robbers +without number; he has headed parties at the play-house; he has scaled +the windows of every toast of whatever condition; he has been hunted +for whole winters by his rivals; he has slept upon bulks; he has cut +chairs; he has bilked coachmen; he has rescued his friends from +bailiffs, and has knocked down the constable, has bullied the justice, +and performed many other exploits that have filled the town with +wonder and merriment. + + [Illustration] + +'But yet greater is the fame of his understanding than his bravery, +for he informs us that he is, in London, the established arbitrator on +all points of honour, and the decisive judge of all performances of +genius; that no musical performer is in reputation till the opinion of +Frolic has ratified his pretensions; that the theatres suspend their +sentence till he begins to clap or hiss, in which all are proud to +concur; that no public entertainment has failed or succeeded but +because he opposed or favoured it; that all controversies at the +gaming-table are referred to his determination; that he adjusts the +ceremonial at every assembly, and prescribes every fashion of pleasure +or of dress. + +'With every man whose name occurs in the papers of the day he is +intimately acquainted, and there are very few points either on the +state or army of which he has not more or less influenced the +disposal, while he has been very frequently consulted both upon peace +and war.' + +Ruricola concludes by inquiring whether Mr. Frolic is really so well +known in London as he pretends, or if he shall denounce him as an +impostor. + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. II. No. 89. + +Dulce est desipere in loco. + + [Illustration] + +'There is nothing more fatal to a man whose business is to think than +to have learned the art of regaling his mind with those airy +gratifications. Other vices or follies are restrained by fear, +reformed by admonition, or rejected by conviction, which the +comparison of our conduct with that of others may in time produce. But +this invisible riot of the mind, this secret prodigality of being, is +secure from detection and fearless from reproach. The dreamer retires +to his apartments, shuts out the cares and interruptions of mankind, +and abandons himself to his own fancy; new worlds rise up before him, +one image is followed by another, and a long succession of delights +dances around him. He is at last called back to life by nature or by +custom, and enters peevish into society because he cannot model it to +his own will. He returns from his idle excursions with the asperity, +though not with the knowledge, of a student, and hastens again to the +same felicity with the eagerness of a man bent upon the advancement of +some favourite science. The infatuation strengthens by degrees, and, +like the poison of opiates, weakens his powers without any external +symptom of malignity.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. II. No. 100. + +'It is hard upon poor creatures, be they ever so mean, to deny them +those enjoyments and liberties which are equally open for all. Yet, if +servants were taught to go to church on Sunday, spend some part of it +in reading, or receiving instruction in a _family way_, and the rest +in mere friendly conversation, the poor wretches would infallibly take +it into their heads that they were obliged to be sober, modest, +diligent, and faithful to their masters and mistresses.' + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. II. No. 114. + + When man's life is in debate, + The judge can ne'er too long deliberate.--_Dryden._ + +'The gibbet, indeed, certainly disables those who die upon it from +infesting the community; but their death seems not to contribute more +to the reformation of their associates than any other method of +separation. A thief seldom passes much of his time in recollection or +anticipation, but from robbery hastens to riot, and from riot to +robbery; nor, when the grave closes upon his companion, has any other +care than to find another. + + [Illustration] + +'The frequency of capital punishments, therefore, rarely hinders the +commission of a crime, but naturally and commonly prevents its +detection, and is, if we proceed upon prudential principles, chiefly +for that reason to be avoided. Whatever may be urged by casuists or +politicians, the greater part of mankind, as they can never think that +to pick the pocket and to pierce the heart is equally criminal, will +scarcely believe that two malefactors so different in guilt can be +justly doomed to the same punishment; nor is the necessity of +submitting the conscience to human laws so plainly evinced, so clearly +stated, or so generally allowed, but that the pious, the tender, the +just, will always scruple to concur with the community in an act which +their private judgment cannot approve.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. II. No. 117. + + 'Tis sweet thy lab'ring steps to guide + To virtue's heights with wisdom well supplied, + From all the magazines of learning fortified + From thence to look below on human kind, + Bewilder'd in the maze of life, and blind.--_Dryden._ + +'The conveniences described in these lines may perhaps all be found in +a well-chosen garret; but surely they cannot be supposed sufficiently +important to have operated invariably upon different climates, distant +ages, and separate nations. + + [Illustration] + +'Another cause of the gaiety and sprightliness of the dwellers in +garrets is probably the increase of that vertiginous motion with which +we are carried round by the diurnal revolution of the earth. The power +of agitation upon the spirits is well known; every man has his heart +lightened in a rapid vehicle, or on a galloping horse, and nothing is +plainer than that he who towers to the fifth story is whirled through +more space by every circumrotation than another that grovels upon the +ground-floor. + +'If you imagine that I ascribe to air and motion effects which they +cannot produce, I desire you to consult your own memory, and consider +whether you have never known a man acquire reputation in his garret, +which, when fortune or a patron had placed him upon the first floor, +he was unable to maintain; and who never recovered his former vigour +of understanding till he was restored to his original situation. + +'That a garret will make every man a wit I am very far from supposing. +I know there are some who would continue blockheads even on the summit +of the Andes and on the peak of Teneriffe. But let not any man be +considered as unimprovable till this potent remedy has been tried; for +perhaps he was formed to be great only in a garret, as the joiner of +Aretaeus was rational in no other place but his own shop.' + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. II. No. 124. + + To range in silence through each healthful wood, + And muse what's worthy of the wise and good. + + [Illustration] + +'To those who leave the public places of resort in the full bloom of +reputation, and withdraw from admiration, courtship, submission, and +applause, a rural triumph can give nothing equivalent. The praise of +ignorance and the subjection of weakness are little regarded by +beauties who have been accustomed to more important conquests and +more valuable panegyrics. Nor, indeed, should the powers which have +made havoc in the theatres or borne down rivalry in courts be degraded +to a mean attack upon the untravelled heir, or ignoble contest with +the ruddy milkmaid.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 142. + + [Illustration] + +'Squire Bluster is descended from an ancient family. The estate which +his ancestors immemoriably possessed was much augmented by Captain +Bluster, who served under Drake in the reign of Elizabeth; and the +Blusters, who were before only petty gentlemen, have from that time +frequently represented the shire in parliament, being chosen to +present addresses and give laws at hunting-matches and races. They +were eminently hospitable and popular till the father of this +gentleman died of an election. His lady went to the grave soon after +him, and left their heir, then only ten years old, to the care of his +grandmother, who would not suffer him to be controlled, because she +could not bear to hear him cry; and never sent him to school, because +she was not able to live without his company. She taught him, however, +very early to inspect the steward's accounts, to dog the butler from +the cellar, and catch the servants at a junket; so that he was at the +age of eighteen a complete master of all the lower arts of domestic +policy, and had often on the road detected combinations between the +coachman and the ostler. + +'Money, in whatever hands, will confer power. Distress will fly to +immediate refuge, without much consideration of remote consequences. +Bluster had, therefore, on coming of age, a despotic authority in many +families, whom he had assisted, on pressing occasions, with larger +sums than they can easily repay. The only visits that he makes are to +those houses of misfortune, where he enters with the insolence of +absolute command, enjoys the terrors of the family, exacts their +obedience, riots at their charge, and in the height of his joys +insults the father with menaces and the daughters with scurrilities. + +'Such is the life of Squire Bluster; a man in whose power Fortune has +liberally placed the means of happiness, but who has defeated all her +gifts of their end by the depravity of his mind. He is wealthy without +followers; he is magnificent without witnesses; he hath birth without +alliance, and influence without dignity. His neighbours scorn him as a +brute; his dependants dread him as an oppressor; and he has only the +gloomy comfort of reflecting that if he is hated he is likewise +feared.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 153. + + Turba Remi sequitur fortunam, ut semper, et odit + Damnatos.--_Juv._ + + The fickle crowd with fortune comes and goes; + Wealth still finds followers, and misfortune foes. + +The writer, who had been adopted by a rich nabob lately returned from +the Indies, suddenly found himself deprived of the fortune which it +was anticipated would have fallen to his share; his patron having died +without making a will in his protege's favour, and thus a fine estate +had gone to another branch of the family. + +'It was now my part,' writes the victim of this unexpected adversity, +'to consider how I should repair the disappointment. I could not but +triumph in my long list of friends, which composed almost every name +that power or knowledge entitled to eminence, and in the prospect of +the innumerable roads to honour and preferment which I had laid open +to myself by the wise use of temporary riches. I believed nothing +necessary but that I should continue that acquaintance to which I had +been so readily admitted, and which had hitherto been cultivated on +both sides with equal ardour. + +'Full of these expectations, I one morning ordered a chair, with an +intention to make my usual circle of morning visits. Where I first +stopped I saw two footmen lolling at the door, who told me, without +any change of posture or collection of countenance, that their master +was at home; and suffered me to open the inner door without +assistance. I found my friend standing, and as I was tattling with my +former freedom was formally entreated to sit down, but did not stay to +be favoured with any further condescensions. + + [Illustration] + +'My next experiment was made at the levee of a statesman, who received +me with an embrace of tenderness, that he might with more decency +publish my change of fortune to the sycophants about. After he had +enjoyed the triumph of condolence he turned to a wealthy stockjobber, +and left me exposed to the scorn of those who had lately courted my +notice and solicited my interest. + +'I was then set down at the door of another, who upon my entrance +advised me with great solemnity to think of some settled provision for +life. I left him and hurried away to an old friend, who professed +himself unsusceptible of any impressions from prosperity or +misfortune, and begged that he might see me when he was more at +leisure. + +'Of sixty-seven doors at which I knocked in the first week after my +appearance in a mourning dress I was denied admission at forty-six; +was suffered at fourteen to wait in the outer room till business was +despatched; at four was entertained with a few questions about the +weather; at one heard the footman rated for bringing my name; and at +two was informed, in the flow of casual conversation, how much a man +of rank degrades himself by mean company. + +'Such, Mr. Rambler, is the power of wealth, that it commands the ear +of greatness and the eye of beauty; gives spirit to the dull and +authority to the timorous, and leaves him from whom it departs without +virtue and without understanding, the sport of caprice, the scoff of +insolence, the slave of meanness, and the pupil of ignorance.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 170. + +Misella sends her history to the 'Rambler' as a caution to others who +may chance to rely on the fidelity of distant relatives. Her father +becoming burdened with a family larger than his means could decently +provide for, a wealthy relative had offered to take the charge of one +member, the writer, upon himself. + +'Without knowing for what purpose I was called to my great cousin,' +says the unhappy Misella, 'I endeavoured to recommend myself by my +best courtesy, sang him my prettiest song, told the last story that I +had read, and so much endeared myself by my innocence that he declared +his resolution to adopt me, and to educate me with his own daughters. + + [Illustration] + +'My parents felt the common struggle at the thought of parting, and +_some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon_. They +considered, not without that false estimation of the value of wealth +which poverty long continued always produces, that I was raised to +higher rank than they could give me, and to hopes of more ample +fortune than they could bequeath. My mother sold some of her ornaments +to dress me in such a manner as might secure me from contempt at my +first arrival, and when she dismissed me pressed me to her bosom with +an embrace which I still feel. + +'My sister carried my finery, and seemed not much to regret our +separation; my father conducted me to the stage-coach with a sort of +cheerful tenderness; and in a very short time I was transported to +splendid apartments and a luxurious table, and grew familiar to show, +noise, and gaiety. + +'In three years my mother died, having implored a blessing on her +family with her last breath. + +'I had little opportunity to indulge a sorrow which there was none to +partake with me, and therefore soon ceased to reflect much upon my +loss. My father turned all his care upon his other children, whom some +fortunate adventures and unexpected legacies enabled him, when he died +four years after my mother, to leave in a condition above their +expectations. + +'I should have shared the increase of his fortunes and had once a +portion assigned me in his will, but my cousin assuring him that all +care for me was needless, since he had resolved to place me happily in +the world, directed him to divide my part amongst my sisters. + +'Thus I was thrown upon dependence without resource. Being now at an +age in which young women are initiated into company, I was no longer +to be supported in my former character, but at considerable expense; +so that partly lest appearance might draw too many compliments and +assiduities I was insensibly degraded from my equality, and enjoyed +few privileges above the head servant but that of receiving no wages.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 181. + + Neu fluitem dubiae spe pendulus horae.--_Hor._ + + Nor let me float in fortune's power, + Dependent on the future hour.--_Francis._ + +'Sir,--As I have passed much of life in disgust and suspense, and lost +many opportunities of advantage by a passion which I have reason to +believe prevalent in different degrees over a great part of mankind, I +cannot but think myself well qualified to warn those who are yet +uncaptivated of the dangers which they incur by placing themselves +within its influence. + +'In the course of even prosperity I was one day persuaded to buy a +ticket in the lottery. At last the day came, my ticket appeared, and +rewarded all my care and sagacity with a despicable prize of fifty +pounds. + +'My friends, who honestly rejoiced upon my success, were very coldly +received; I hid myself a fortnight in the country that my chagrin +might fume away without observation, and then, returning to my shop, +began to listen after another lottery. + +'With the news of a lottery I was soon gratified, and, having now +found the vanity of conjecture and inefficacy of computation, I +resolved to take the prize by violence, and therefore bought forty +tickets, not omitting, however, to divide them between the even and +the odd, that I might not miss the lucky class. Many conclusions did I +form, and many experiments did I try, to determine from which of those +tickets I might most reasonably expect riches. At last, being unable +to satisfy myself by any modes of reasoning, I wrote the numbers upon +dice, and allotted five hours every day to the amusement of throwing +them in a garret; and examining the event by an exact register, found, +on the evening before the lottery was drawn, that one of my numbers +had turned up five times more than any of the rest in three hundred +and thirty thousand throws. + + [Illustration] + +'This experiment was fallacious; the first day presented the ticket a +detestable blank. The rest came out with different fortune, and in +conclusion I lost thirty pounds by this great adventure. + +'The prize which had been suffered to slip from me filled me with +anguish, and, knowing that complaint would only expose me to ridicule, +I gave myself up silently to grief, and lost by degrees my appetite +and my rest.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 187. + + Love alters not for us his hard decrees, + Not though beneath the Thracian clime we freeze, + Or the mild bliss of temperate skies forego, + And in mid-winter tread Sithonian snow:-- + Love conquers all.--_Dryden._ + +'ANNINGAIT AND AJUT, A GREENLAND HISTORY. + +'In one of the large caves to which the families of Greenland retire +together to pass the cold months, and which may be termed their +villages or cities, a youth and maid, who came from different parts +of the country, were so much distinguished for their beauty that they +were called by the rest of the inhabitants Anningait and Ajut, from +their supposed resemblance to their ancestors of the same names who +had been transformed of old into the sun and moon. + +'The elegance of Ajut's dress, and the judicious disposition of her +ornaments of coral and shells, had such an effect upon Anningait that +he could no longer be restrained from a declaration of his love. He, +therefore, composed a poem in her praise, in which, among other heroic +and tender sentiments, he protested that, "She was beautiful as the +vernal willow, and fragrant as thyme upon the mountains; that her +fingers were white as the teeth of the morse, and her smile grateful +as the dissolution of the ice; that he would pursue her though she +should pass the snows of the midland cliffs, or seek shelter in the +caves of the eastern cannibals; that he would tear her from the +embrace of the genius of the rocks, snatch her from the paws of +Amaroc, and rescue her from the ravine of Hafgufa." + +'This ode being universally applauded, it was expected that Ajut would +soon yield to such fervour and accomplishments; but Ajut, with the +natural haughtiness of beauty, expected all the forms of courtship; +and before she would confess herself conquered the sun returned, the +ice broke, and the season of labour called all to their employments. + + [Illustration] + +'It happened that a tempest drove the fish to a distant part of the +coast before Anningait had completed his store; he therefore entreated +Ajut that she would at last grant him her hand and accompany him to +that part of the country whither he was now summoned of necessity. +Ajut thought him not yet entitled to such condescension, but proposed, +as a trial of constancy, that he should return at the end of summer to +the cavern where their acquaintance commenced, and there expect the +reward of his assiduities. But Anningait tried to soften this +resolution: he feelingly represented the uncertainty of existence and +the dangers of the passage, and his loneliness when distant from the +object of his love. "Consider, Ajut," urged he, "a few summer days, a +few winter nights, and the life of man is at an end. Night is the time +of ease and festivity, of revels and gaiety; but what will be the +flaming lamp, the delicious seal, or the soft oil without the smile of +Ajut?" + +'The eloquence of Anningait was vain; the maid continued inexorable, +and they parted with ardent promises to meet again before the night of +winter. Anningait, however discomposed by the dilatory coyness of +Ajut, was resolved to omit no tokens of amorous respect, and therefore +presented her at his departure with the skins of seven white fawns, of +five swans, and eleven seals, with three marble lamps, ten vessels of +seal-oil, and a large kettle of brass which he had purchased from a +ship at the price of half a whale and two horns of sea-unicorns. + +'Ajut was so much affected by the fondness of her lover, or so much +overpowered by his munificence, that she followed him to the seaside; +and, when she saw him enter the boat, wished aloud that he might +return with plenty of skins and oil, that neither the mermaids might +snatch him into the deeps, nor the spirits of the rocks confine him in +their caverns. + +'Parted from each other, the lovers devoted themselves to the +remembrances of their affection; Anningait devoted himself to fishing +and the chase with redoubled energy, that his stores for the future +might exceed the expectations of his bride; and Ajut mourned the +absence of her betrothed with ceaseless fidelity. She neglected the +ornaments of her person, and, to avoid the solicitations of her +lover's rivals, withdrew herself into complete seclusion. Thus passed +the months of separation. At last Ajut saw the great boat in which +Anningait departed stealing slow and heavy laden along the coast. She +ran with all the impatience of affection to catch her lover in her +arms, and relate her constancy and sufferings. When the company +reached the land they informed her that Anningait, after the fishery +was ended, being unable to support the slow passage of the vessel of +carriage, had set out before them in his fishing-boat, and they +expected at their arrival to have found him on shore. + +'Ajut, distracted at this intelligence, was about to fly into the +hills without knowing why, though she was now in the hands of her +parents, who forced her back to her own hut and endeavoured to +comfort her; but when at last they retired to rest, Ajut went down to +the beach, where, finding a fishing-boat, she entered it without +hesitation, and, telling those who wondered at her rashness that she +was going in search of Anningait, rowed away with great swiftness and +was seen no more. + + [Illustration] + +'The fate of these lovers gave occasion to various fictions and +conjectures. Some are of opinion that they were changed into stars; +others imagine that Anningait was seized in his passage by the genius +of the rocks, and that Ajut was transformed into a mermaid, and still +continues to seek her lover in the deserts of the sea. But the general +persuasion is that they are both in that part of the land of souls +where the sun never sets, where oil is always fresh, and provisions +always warm. The virgins sometimes throw a thimble and a needle into +the bay from which the hapless maid departed, and when a Greenlander +would praise any couple for virtuous affection he declares that they +love like Anningait and Ajut.' + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 191. + + Cereus in vitium flecti, monitoribus asper.--_Hor._ + + The youth---- + Yielding like wax, th' impressive folly bears; + Rough to reproof, and slow to future cares.--_Francis._ + +'Dear Mr. Rambler,--I have been four days confined to my chamber by a +cold, which has already kept me from three plays, nine sales, five +shows, and six card-tables, and put me seventeen visits behind; and +the doctor tells my mamma that, if I fret and cry, it will settle in +my head, and I shall not be fit to be seen these six weeks. But, dear +Mr. Rambler, how can I help it? At this very time Melissa is dancing +with the prettiest gentleman; she will breakfast with him to-morrow, +and then run to two auctions, and hear compliments, and have presents; +then she will be dressed and visit, and get a ticket to the play, then +go to cards, and win, and come home with two flambeaus before her +chair. Dear Mr. Rambler, who can bear it? + + * * * * * + +'I am at a loss to guess for what purpose they relate such tragic +stories of the cruelty, perfidy, and artifices of men, who, if they +ever were so malicious and destructive, have certainly now reformed +their manners. I have not, since my entrance into the world, found one +who does not profess himself devoted to my service, and ready to live +or die as I shall command him. They are so far from intending to hurt +me that their only contention is, who shall be allowed most closely to +attend and most frequently to treat me; when different places of +entertainment or schemes of pleasure are mentioned, I can see the eyes +sparkle and the cheeks glow of him whose proposals obtain my +approbation; he then leads me off in triumph, adores my condescension, +and congratulates himself that he has lived to the hour of felicity. +Are these, Mr. Rambler, creatures to be feared? and is it likely that +any injury will be done me by those who can enjoy life only while I +favour them with my presence? + +'As little reason can I yet find to suspect them of stratagems and +fraud. When I play at cards they never take advantage of any mistakes, +nor exact from me a rigorous observation of the game. Even Mr. +Shuffle, a grave gentleman, who has daughters older than myself, plays +with me so negligently that I am sometimes inclined to believe he +loses his money by design; and yet he is so fond of play that he says +he will one day take me to his house in the country, that we may try +by ourselves who can conquer. I have not yet promised him; but when +the town grows a little empty I shall think upon it, for I want some +trinkets, like Letitia's, to my watch. I do not doubt my luck, but I +must study some means of amusing my relations. + +'For all these distinctions I find myself indebted to that beauty +which I was never suffered to hear praised, and of which, therefore, +I did not before know the full value. This concealment was certainly +an intentional fraud, for my aunts have eyes like other people, and I +am every day told that nothing but blindness can escape the influence +of my charms. Their whole account of that world which they pretend to +know so well has been only one fiction entangled with another; and +though the modes of life oblige me to continue some appearances of +respect, I cannot think that they who have been so clearly detected in +ignorance or imposture have any right to the esteem, veneration, or +obedience of, + + 'Sir, yours, + 'Bellaria.' + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'RAMBLER.'--Vol. III. No. 199. + + Obscure, unprized, and dark the magnet lies, + Nor lures the search of avaricious eyes, + Nor binds the neck, nor sparkles in the hair, + Nor dignifies the great, nor decks the fair. + But search the wonders of the dusky stone, + And own all glories of the mine outdone, + Each grace of form, each ornament of state, + That decks the fair or dignifies the great! + + +'_To the "Rambler._" + +'Sir,--The curiosity of the present race of philosophers having been +long exercised upon electricity has been lately transferred to +magnetism; the qualities of the loadstone have been investigated, if +not with much advantage, yet with great applause; and, as the highest +praise of art is to imitate nature, I hope no man will think the +makers of artificial magnets celebrated or reverenced above their +deserts. + + [Illustration] + +'I have for some time employed myself in the same practice, but with +deeper knowledge and more extensive views. While my contemporaries +were touching needles and raising weights, or busying themselves with +inclination and variation, I have been examining those qualities of +magnetism which may be applied to the accommodation and happiness of +common life. I have left to inferior understandings the care of +conducting the sailor through the hazards of the ocean, and reserved +to myself the more difficult and illustrious province of preserving +the connubial compact from violation, and setting mankind free for +ever from the torments of fruitless vigilance and anxious suspicion. + +'To defraud any man of his due praise is unworthy of a philosopher. I +shall therefore openly confess that I owe the first hint of this +inestimable secret to the Rabbi Abraham Ben Hannase, who, in his +treatise of precious stones, has left this account of the magnet: "The +calamita, or loadstone, that attracts iron, produces many bad +fantasies in man. Women fly from this stone. If, therefore, any +husband be disturbed with jealousy, and fear lest his wife converses +with other men, let him lay this stone upon her while she is asleep. +If she be pure she will, when she wakes, clasp her husband fondly in +her arms; but if she be guilty she will fall out of bed, and run +away." + +'With these hopes I shall, in a short time, offer for sale magnets +armed with a particular metallic composition, which concentrates their +virtue and determines their agency. + + [Illustration] + +'I shall sell them of different sizes, and various degrees of +strength. I have some of a bulk proper to be hung at the bed's head, +as scarecrows, and some so small that they may be easily concealed. +Some I have ground into oval forms, to be hung at watches; and some, +for the curious, I have set in wedding rings, that ladies may never +want an attestation of their innocence. Some I can produce so sluggish +and inert that they will not act before the third failure, and others +so vigorous and animated that they exert their influence against +unlawful wishes, if they have been willingly and deliberately +indulged. As it is my practice honestly to tell my customers the +properties of my magnets I can judge by the choice of the delicacy of +their sentiments. Many have been contented to spare cost by purchasing +only the lowest degree of efficacy, and all have started with terror +from those which operate upon the thoughts. One young lady only fitted +on a ring of the strongest energy, and declared that she scorned to +separate her wishes from her acts, or allow herself to think what she +was forbidden to practise. + + 'I am, &c., + 'HERMETICUS.' + +FOOTNOTE: + +[30] Dr. Johnson seems here to point his homily from the instance of +his friend Goldsmith. This circumstance gives an individual interest +to a slightly ponderous sketch. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THACKERAY'S FAMILIARITY WITH THE WRITINGS OF THE SATIRICAL +ESSAYISTS--_Continued._ + + Characteristic Passages from the Works of the 'Early Humourists,' + from Thackeray's Library, illustrated by the Author's hand with + original Marginal Sketches suggested by the Text -- The 'Mirror,' + Edinburgh, 1779-80 -- Introduction -- The Society in which the + 'Mirror' and 'Lounger' originated -- Notice of Contributors -- + Paragraphs and Pencillings. + + +PREFACE TO THE 'MIRROR.' + +The circumstances which led to the publication of the 'Mirror,' by a +certain society of friends in Edinburgh, are set forth in the +concluding paper of that work, No. 110, which originally appeared May +27, 1780. The dying speech of the Scotch essayist forms a suitable +introduction to the series. + + Extremum concede laborem.--_Virg. Ecl._ x. 1. + +'As, at the close of life, people confess the secrets and explain the +mysteries of their conduct, endeavour to do justice to those with whom +they have had dealings, and to die in peace with all the world; so in +the concluding number of a periodical publication, it is usual to lay +aside the assumed name, or fictitious character, to ascribe the +different papers to their true authors, and to wind up the whole with +a modest appeal to the candour or indulgence of the public. + +'In the course of these papers the author has not often ventured to +introduce himself, or to give an account of his own situation; in +this, therefore, which is to be the last, he has not much to unravel +on that score. From the narrowness of the place of its appearance, the +'MIRROR' did not admit of much personification of its editor; the +little disguise he has used has been rather to conceal what he was +than to give himself out for what he was not. + + [Illustration] + +'The idea of publishing a periodical paper in Edinburgh took its rise +in a company of gentlemen whom particular circumstances of connection +brought frequently together. Their discourse often turned upon +subjects of manners, of taste, and of literature. By one of these +accidental resolutions, of which the origin cannot easily be traced, +it was determined to put their thoughts into writing, and to read +them for the entertainment of each other. Their essays assumed the +form, and soon after some one gave them the name, of a periodical +publication; the writers of it were naturally associated, and their +meetings increased the importance as well as the number of their +productions. Cultivating letters in the midst of business, composition +was to them an amusement only; that amusement was heightened by the +audience which this society afforded; the idea of publication +suggested itself as productive of still higher entertainment. + +'It was not, however, without diffidence that such a resolution was +taken. From that and several other circumstances it was thought proper +to observe the strictest secrecy with regard to the authors; a purpose +in which they have been so successful that, at this very moment, the +very publisher of the work knows only one of their number, to whom the +conduct of it was entrusted.' + +The members of the society alluded to in the last number of the +'Mirror' afterwards carried on the 'Lounger.' They were Mr. R. Cullen, +Mr. M'Leod Bannatyne, Mr. George Ogilvy, Mr. Alex. Abercromby, and Mr. +W. Craig, advocates, the last two of whom were afterwards appointed +Judges of the Court of Session in Scotland; Mr. George Home, one of +the principal clerks of that court; and Mr. H. Mackenzie, of the +Exchequer of Edinburgh. + +Of these Mr. Ogilvy, though with abilities and genius abundantly +capable of the task, never contributed to the 'Mirror,' and the +society had to lament his death before the appearance of the +'Lounger.' None of its members, Mr. Mackenzie excepted, whose name is +sufficiently known as an author, had ever before been concerned in any +publication. To Mr. Mackenzie, therefore, was entrusted the conducting +the work, and he alone had any communication with the editor, to whom +the other members of the society were altogether unknown. Secrecy was +an object of much importance to a work of this sort; and during the +publication of both these performances it was singularly well +attained. + +Mr. Mackenzie's papers were the most numerous. He is stated to have +been the author of Nos. 2, 5, 7, 11, 12, 14, 16 (the latter part of +17), 21, 23, 25, 30, 32, 34 (part of 35), 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 49, +53, 54 (part of 56), 61, 64, 72, 78, 80, 81, 84, the poem in 85 (part +of 89), 91, 92, 93 (part of 96), 99, 100, 101 (parts of 102, 103), +105, 107, 108, 109, and 110. + +The contributions of correspondents were of considerable assistance to +the success of the 'Mirror.' Of these Lord Hailes was the most +industrious; among other promoters we find the names of Mr. +Richardson, Professor of Humanity at Glasgow; Mr. Fraser Tytler, +Advocate and Professor of History in the University of Edinburgh; Mr. +D. Hume, Professor of Scots Laws at Edinburgh, nephew of the +celebrated David Hume; D. Beattie; Cosmo Gordon, Esq., one of the +Barons of Exchequer in Scotland; Mr. W. Strahan, of London, the King's +printer; Mr. Baron Gordon, &c. + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'MIRROR.' + +A Periodical Paper Published at Edinburgh in the Years 1779 and 1780. + +Veluti in speculo. + +'No child ever heard from its nurse the story of "Jack the Giant +Killer's Cap of Darkness" without envying the pleasures of +invisibility. + +'This power is, in some degree, possessed by the writer of an +anonymous paper. He can at least exercise it for a purpose for which +people would be most apt to use the privilege of being invisible: to +wit, that of hearing what is said of himself. + +'A few hours after the publication of my first number, I sallied +forth, with all the advantages of invisibility, to hear an account of +myself and my paper. + +'A smart-looking young man, in green, said he was sure it would be +very satirical; his companion, in scarlet, was equally certain that it +would be very stupid. But with this last prediction I was not much +offended, when I discovered that its author had not read the first +number, but only inquired of Mr. Creech where it was published. + + [Illustration] + +'A plump round figure, near the fire, who had just put on his +spectacles to examine the paper, closed the debate by observing, with +a grave aspect, that, as the author was anonymous, it was proper to be +very cautious in talking of the performance. After glancing over the +pages, he said he could have wished they had set apart a corner for +intelligence from America; but, having taken off his spectacles, +wiped, and put them into their case, he said, with a tone of +discovery, he had found out the reason why there was nothing of that +sort in the "Mirror"--it was in order to save the tax upon +newspapers.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. I. No. 4. + + Meliora pii docuere parentes. + +The following is an extract from a letter, addressed by a parent to +the editor, on the evil consequences of sending youths to Paris to +finish their education:-- + +'When the day of their return came, my girl, who had been constantly +on the look-out, ran to tell me she saw a postchaise driving to the +gate. But, judge of my astonishment when I saw two pale, emaciated +figures get out of the carriage, in their dress and looks resembling +monkeys rather than human creatures. What was still worse, their +manners were more displeasing than their appearance. When my daughter +ran up, with tears of joy in her eyes, to embrace her brother, he held +her from him, and burst into an immoderate fit of laughter at +something in her dress that appeared to him ridiculous. He was joined +in the laugh by his younger brother, who was pleased, however, to say +that the girl was not ill-looking, and, when taught to put on her +clothes, and to use a little _rouge_, would be tolerable. + + [Illustration] + +'Mortified as I was at this impertinence, the partiality of a parent +led me to impute it, in a great measure, to the levity of youth; and I +still flattered myself that matters were not so bad as they appeared +to be. In these hopes I sat down to dinner. But there the behaviour of +the young gentlemen did not, by any means, tend to lessen my chagrin. +There was nothing at table they could eat; they ran out in praise of +French cookery, and seemed even to be adepts in the science; they knew +the component ingredients of most fashionable _ragouts_ and +_fricandeaus_, and were acquainted with the names and characters of +the most celebrated practitioners of the art in Paris. + +'In short, it was found these unfortunate youths had returned +ignorant of everything they ought to know, their minds corrupted, +their bodies debilitated, and their vanity and conceit making them +incapable of listening to reason or advice.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. I. No. 10. + +Mr. Fleetwood, a man of excessive refinement and delicacy of taste, is +described as paying visits to his friends in the country. But the +pleasures which might possibly be derived from this exercise are +marred by his false sensibility. + +'Our next visit was to a gentleman of liberal education and elegant +manners, who, in the earlier part of his life, had been much in the +polite world. Here Mr. Fleetwood expected to find pleasure and +enjoyment sufficient to atone for his two previous experiences which +were far from agreeable; but here, too, he was disappointed. + +'Mr. Selby, for that was our friend's name, had been several years +married. His family increasing, he had retired to the country, and, +renouncing the bustle of the world, had given himself up to domestic +enjoyments; his time and attention were devoted chiefly to the care of +his children. The pleasure which he himself felt in humouring all +their little fancies made him forget how troublesome that indulgence +might be to others. + + [Illustration] + +'The first morning we were at his house, when Mr. Fleetwood came into +the parlour to breakfast, all the places at table were occupied by the +children; it was necessary that one of them should be displaced to +make room for him; and, in the disturbance which this occasioned, a +teacup was overturned, and scalded the finger of Mr. Selby's eldest +daughter, a child about seven years old, whose whimpering and +complaining attracted the whole attention during breakfast. That being +over, the eldest boy came forward with a book in his hand, and Mr. +Selby asked Mr. Fleetwood to hear him read his lesson. Mrs. Selby +joined in the request, though both looked as if they were rather +conferring a favour on their guest. The eldest had no sooner +finished, than the youngest boy presented himself; upon which his +father observed that it would be doing injustice to Will not to hear +him as well as his elder brother Jack, and in this way was my friend +obliged to spend the morning in performing the office of a +schoolmaster to the children in succession. + +'Mr. Fleetwood liked a game at whist, and promised himself a party in +the evening, free from interruption. Cards were accordingly proposed, +but Mrs. Selby observed that her little daughter, who still complained +of her scalded finger, needed amusement as much as any of the company. +In place of cards, Miss Harriet insisted on the "game of the goose." +Down to it we sat, and to a stranger it would have been not unamusing +to see Mr. Fleetwood, with his sorrowful countenance, at the "royal +and pleasant game of the goose," with a child of seven years old. It +is unnecessary to dwell longer on particulars. During all the time we +were at Mr. Selby's the delighted parents were indulging their +fondness, while Mr. Fleetwood was repining and fretting in secret.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. I. No. 117. + + Inanit veteres statuas Damasippus emendo.--_Hor._ + +A wife is writing to the 'Mirror' upon a new affliction which has +attacked her husband. He happened to receive a crooked shilling in +exchange for some of his goods (the husband was a grocer), and a +virtuoso informed him that it was a coin of Alexander III., of great +rarity and value, whereupon the good man became seized with a passion +for collecting curiosities. + +'His taste,' says the wife's letter, 'ranges from heaven above to the +earth beneath, and to the waters under the earth. Every production of +nature or of art, remarkable either for beauty or deformity, but +particularly if either _scarce_ or _old_, is now the object of my +husband's avidity. The profits of our business, once considerable, but +now daily diminishing, are expended, not only on coins, but on shells, +lumps of different coloured stones, dried butterflies, old pictures, +ragged books, and worm-eaten parchments. + +'Our house, which it was once my highest pleasure to keep in order, it +would be now equally vain to attempt cleaning as the ark of Noah. +The children's bed is supplied by an Indian canoe; and the poor little +creatures sleep three of them in a hammock, slung up to the roof +between a _stuffed crocodile_ and the skeleton of a _calf with two +heads_. Even the commodities of our shop have been turned out to make +room for trash and vermin. _Kites_, _owls_, and _bats_ are perched +upon the top of our shelves; and it was but yesterday that, putting my +hand into a glass jar that used to contain pickles, I laid hold of a +large _tarantula_ in place of a mangoe. + + [Illustration] + +'In the bitterness of my soul, Mr. Mirror, I have been often tempted +to revenge myself on the objects of my husband's phrenzy, by burning, +smashing, and destroying them without mercy; but, besides that such +violent procedure might have effects too dreadful upon a brain which, +I fear, is already much unsettled, I could not take such a course +without being guilty of a fraud to our creditors, several of whom +will, I believe, sooner or later, find it their only means of +reimbursement to take back each man his own monsters.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. I. No. 25. + + [Illustration] + +The 'Mirror' prints a letter upon the grievances felt by the families +of men of small fortunes when associated with those enjoying great +ones. + +'You will remember, sir, my account of a visit which my daughters paid +to a great lady in our neighbourhood, and of the effects which that +visit had upon them. I was beginning to hope that time, and the +sobriety of manners which home exhibited, would restore them to their +former situation, when, unfortunately, a circumstance happened still +more fatal to me than their expedition to ----. This, sir, was the +honour of a visit from the great lady in return. + + [Illustration] + +'I was just returning from the superintendence of my ploughs, in a +field I have lately enclosed, when I was met, on the green before my +door, by a gentleman (for such I took him to be) mounted upon a very +handsome gelding, who asked me, by the appellation of _honest friend_, +if this was not Mr. Homespun's; and, in the same breath, whether the +ladies were at home. I told him my name was Homespun, the house was +mine, and my wife and daughters were, I believed, within. Upon this, +the young man, pulling off his hat, and begging my pardon for calling +me _honest_, said he was despatched by Lady ----, with her +compliments, to Mrs. and Misses Homespun, and that, if convenient, she +intended herself the honour of dining with them, on her return from +B---- Park (the seat of another great and rich lady in our +neighbourhood). + +'I confess, Mr. Mirror, I was struck somewhat of a heap with the +message; and it would not, in all probability, have received an +immediate answer, had it not been overheard by my eldest daughter, who +had come to the window on the appearance of a stranger. + +'"Mr. Papillot," said she, immediately, "I rejoice to see you; I hope +your lady and all the family are well." "Very much at your service, +ma'am," he replied, with a low bow; "my lady sent me before, with the +offer of her best compliments, and that, if convenient"--and so forth, +repeating his words to me. "She does us infinite honour," said my +young madam; "let her ladyship know how happy her visit will make us; +but, in the meantime, Mr. Papillot, give your horse to one of the +servants, and come in and have a glass of something after your ride." +"I am afraid," answered he (pulling out his right-hand watch, for, +would you believe it, sir, the fellow had one in each fob), "I shall +hardly have time to meet my lady at the place she appointed me." On a +second invitation, however, he dismounted, and went into the house, +leaving his horse to the care of the servants; but the servants, as my +daughter very well knew, were all in the fields at work; so I, who +have a liking for a good horse, and cannot bear to see him neglected, +had the honour of putting Mr. Papillot's horse in the stable myself.' + +The arrival of the distinguished party completely upset Mr. Homespun's +establishment, turned the heads of his entire family, and annihilated +the effect of all his good teachings. + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. I. No. 50. + +'It was formerly one of those national boasts which are always +allowable, and sometimes useful, that the ladies of Scotland possessed +a purity of conduct and delicacy of manners beyond that of most other +countries. Free from the bad effects of overgrown fortunes, and from +the dissipated society of an overgrown capital, their beauty was +natural and their minds were uncorrupted. + +'Formerly a London journey was attended with some difficulty and +danger, and posting thither was an achievement as masculine as a +fox-chase. Now the goodness of the roads and the convenience of the +vehicles render it a matter of only a few days' moderate exercise for +a lady; _Facilis descensus Averni_; our wives and daughters are +carried thither to see the world, and we are not to wonder if some of +them bring back only that knowledge of it which the most ignorant can +acquire and the most forgetful retain. That knowledge is communicated +to a certain circle on their return; the imitation is as rapid as it +is easy; they emulate the English, who before have copied the French; +the dress, the phrase, and the _morale_ of Paris is transplanted first +to London, and thence to Edinburgh; and even the sequestered regions +of the country are sometimes visited in this northern progress of +politeness. + + [Illustration] + +'It will be said, perhaps, that there is often a levity of behaviour +without any criminality of conduct; that the lady who talks always +loud, and sometimes free, goes much abroad, or keeps a crowd of +company at home, rattles in a public place with a circle of young +fellows, or flirts in a corner with a single one, does all this +without the smallest bad intention, merely as she puts on a cap and +sticks it with feathers because she has seen it done by others whose +rank and fashion entitle them to her imitation.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. II. No. 44. + + Sit mihi fas audita loqui. + +'Passing the Exchange a few days ago, I perceived a little before me a +short, plump-looking man, seeming to set his watch by St. Giles's +clock, which had just then struck two. On observing him more closely, +I recognised Mr. Blubber, with whom I had been acquainted at the house +of our mutual friend Mr. Bearskin. + + [Illustration] + +'He recollected me, and, shaking me cordially by the hand, told me he +was just returned safe from his journey to the Highlands, and had been +regulating his watch by our town clock, as he found the sun did not go +exactly in the Highlands as it did in the Low country. He added, that +if I would come and eat a Welsh rare-bit and drink a glass of punch +with him and his family that evening, at their lodgings hard by, they +would give me an account of their expedition. + +'When I went to their lodgings in the evening, I could not help making +one preliminary observation, that it was much too early in the season +for visiting the country to advantage; but to this Mr. Blubber had a +very satisfactory answer: they were resolved to complete their tour +before the new tax upon post-horses should be put in execution. + +'The first place they visited after they left Edinburgh was Carron, +which Mr. Blubber seemed to prefer to any place he had seen; but the +ladies did not appear to have relished it much. The mother said, "She +was like to have fell into a fit at the noise of the great bellows." +Miss Blubber agreed that it was _monstrous_ frightful indeed. Miss +Betsy had spoiled her petticoat in getting in, and said it was a nasty +place, not fit for genteel people, in her opinion. Blubber put on his +wisest face, and observed that women did not know the use of them +things. There was much the same difference in their sentiments with +regard to the Great Canal. Mr. Blubber took out a piece of paper, on +which he had marked down the _lockage duty_ received in a week there; +he shook his head, however, and said he was sorry to find the shares +_below par_. + +'Taymouth seemed to strike the whole family. The number and beauty of +the temples were taken particular notice of; nor was the trimness of +the walks and hedges without commendation. Miss Betsy Blubber declared +herself charmed with the shady walk by the side of the Tay, and +remarked what an excellent fancy it was to shut out the view of the +river, so that you might hear the stream without seeing it. Mr. +Blubber, however, objected to the vicinity of the hills, and Mrs. +Blubber to that of the lake, which she was sure must be extremely +unwholesome. + +'But, however various were the remarks of the family on the +particulars of their journey in detail, I found they had perfectly +settled their respective opinions of travelling in general. The ladies +had formed their conclusion that it was monstrous pleasant, and the +gentleman his that it was monstrous dear.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. II. No. 50. + +A correspondent is addressing the 'Mirror' on the ill effects of +listlessness, indolence, and an aversion to profitable exertion. The +writer describes his visit to a barrister without practice, who, +having been left a small competence, had relinquished his profession +to engage in literary pursuits. + +Mr. Mordant, the literary recluse, on his friend's arrival, was +discovered cultivating his kitchen garden. The visitor is conducted +through the grounds, which had been laid out in accordance with the +owner's taste. + + [Illustration] + +'Near a village, on our way homewards, we met a set of countrymen +engaged at cricket, and soon after a marriage company dancing the +bride's dance upon the green. My friend, with a degree of gaiety and +alacrity which I had never before seen him display, not only engaged +himself, but compelled me likewise to engage in the exercise of the +one and the merriment of the other. In a field before his door an old +horse, blind at one eye, came up to us at his call, and ate the +remainder of the grains from his hand from which he had previously fed +a flock of tame pigeons. + +'Our conversation for that evening, relating chiefly to the situation +of our common friends, memory of former scenes, and other subjects as +friends naturally converse about after a long absence, afforded me +little opportunity of gratifying my curiosity. Next morning I arose at +my wonted early hour, and stepping into his study found it unoccupied. +Upon examining a heap of books and papers that lay confusedly mingled +on the table and the floor, I was surprised to find that by much the +greater part of them, instead of metaphysics and morals (the branches +connected with his scheme of writing), treated of _Belles Lettres_, or +were calculated merely for amusement. There was, besides, a journal +of his occupations for several weeks, from which, as it affords a +picture of his situation, I transcribe a part:-- + +'"_Thursday, eleven at night.--Went to bed: ordered my servant to wake +me at six, resolving to be busy all next day._ + +'"_Friday morning.--Waked a quarter before six; fell asleep again, and +did not wake till eight._ + +'"_Till nine read the first act of Voltaire's 'Mahomet,' as it was too +late to begin serious business._ + + [Illustration] + +'"_Ten.--Having swallowed a short breakfast, went out for a moment in +my slippers. The wind having left the east, am engaged by the beauty +of the day to continue my walk. Find a situation by the river where +the sound of my flute produced a very singular and beautiful +echo--make a stanza and a half by way of an address to it--visit the +shepherd lying ill of a low fever, find him somewhat better (mem.--to +send him some wine)--meet the parson, and cannot avoid asking him to +dinner--returning home find my reapers at work--superintend them in +the absence of John, whom I send to inform the house of the parson's +visit--read, in the meantime, part of Thomson's 'Seasons,' which I had +with me--from one to six plagued with the parson's news and +stories--take up 'Mahomet' to put me in good humour; finish it, the +time allotted for serious study being elapsed--at eight, applied to +for advice by a poor countryman, who had been oppressed; cannot say as +to the law; give him some money--walk out at sunset to consider the +causes of the pleasure arising from it--at nine, sup, and sit till +eleven hearing my nephew read, and conversing with my mother, who was +remarkably well and cheerful--go to bed._ + +'_"Saturday. Some company arrived--to be filled up to-morrow_"--(for +that and the two succeeding days there was no further entry in the +journal). + +'"_Tuesday.--Waked at seven; but, the weather being rainy and +threatening to confine me all day, lay till nine--ten, breakfasted and +read the newspapers; very dull and drowsy--eleven, day clears up, and +I resolve on a short ride to clear my head._" + + [Illustration] + +'A few days' residence with him showed me that his life was in +reality, as is here represented, a medley of feeble exertions, +indolent pleasures, secret benevolence, and broken resolutions. Nor +did he pretend to conceal from me that his activity was not now so +constant as it had been; but he insisted that he still could, when he +thought proper, apply with his former vigour, and flattered himself +that these frequent deviations from his plan of employment, which in +reality were the fruit of indolence and weakness, arose from reason +and conviction. + +'"_After all_," said he to me one day, when I was endeavouring to +undeceive him, "_after all, granting what you allege, if I be happy, +and really am so, what more could activity, fame, or preferment bestow +upon me?_" + +'After a stay of some weeks I departed, convinced that his malady was +past a cure, and lamenting that so much real excellence and ability +should be thus in a great measure lost to the world, as well as to +their possessor, by the attendance of a single fault.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. II. No. 56. + +The following letter is from a dweller in the country, an ardent lover +of retirement, who is enchanted with the simplicity of life and +incident to be encountered in a pastoral retreat:-- + +'My dear Sir,--The moment I found myself disengaged from business, you +know I left the smoke and din of your blessed city, and hurried away +to pure skies and quiet at my cottage. + + [Illustration] + +'You must have heard that our spring was singularly pleasant; but how +pleasant it was _you_ could not feel in your dusky atmosphere. My +sister remarked that it had a faint resemblance to the spring of ----. +Although I omit the year, you may believe that several seasons have +passed away since that animating era recollected by my sister. "Alas! +my friend," said I, "seasons return, but it is only to the young and +the fortunate." A tear started in her eye, yet she smiled and resumed +her tranquillity. + +'We sauntered through the kitchen-garden, and admired the rapid +progress of vegetation. "Everything is very forward," said my sister; +"we must begin to bottle _gooseberries_ to-morrow." "Very forward, +indeed," answered I. "This reminds me of the young ladies whom I have +seen lately--they seem forward enough, though a little out of season +too." + +'It was a poor witticism, but it lay in my way, and I took it up. Next +morning the gardener came to our breakfasting-parlour. "Madam," said +he, "all the gooseberries are gone." "Gone!" cried my sister; "and +_who_ could be so audacious? Brother, you are a justice of the peace; +do make out a warrant directly to search for and apprehend. We have an +agreeable neighbourhood, indeed! the insolence of the rabble of +servants, of low-born, purse-proud folks, is not to be endured." "The +gooseberries are not away," continued the gardener; "they are lying in +heaps under the bushes; last night's frost, and a hail-shower this +morning, have made the crop fail." "The crop fail!" exclaimed my +sister; "and where am I to get gooseberries for bottling?" "Come, +come, my dear," said I; "they tell me that in Virginia pork has a +peculiar flavour from the peaches on which the hogs feed; you can let +in the goslings to pick up the gooseberries, and I warrant you that +this unlooked-for food will give them a relish far beyond that of any +green geese of our neighbours at the castle." "Brother," replied she, +"you are a philosopher." I quickly discovered that, while endeavouring +to turn one misfortune into jest, I recalled another to her +remembrance, for it seems that, by a series of domestic calamities, +all her goslings had perished. + + [Illustration] + +'A very promising family of turkey chicks has at length consoled her +for the fate of the goslings, and on rummaging her store-room she +finds that she has more bottled gooseberries left of last year than +will suffice for the present occasions of our little family. + +'That people of sense should allow themselves to be affected by the +most trivial accident is ridiculous. There are, indeed, some things +which, though hardly real evils, cannot fail to vex the wisest and +discompose the equanimity of the most patient; for example, that +fulsome court paid by the vulgar to rich upstarts, and the daily +slights to which decayed nobility is exposed.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. II. No. 68. + +'One morning during my late visit to Mr. Umphraville (the writer of +the previous letter on life in the country), as that gentleman, his +sister, and I were sitting at breakfast, my old friend John came in, +and delivered a sealed card to his master. After putting on his +spectacles, and reading it with attention, "Ay," said Umphraville, +"this is one of your modern improvements. I remember the time when one +neighbour could have gone to dine with another without any fuss or +ceremony; but now, forsooth, you must announce your intention so many +days before; and by-and-by I suppose the intercourse between two +country gentlemen will be carried on with the same stiffness of +ceremonial that prevails among your small German princes. Sister, you +must prepare a feast on Thursday. Colonel Plum says he intends to have +the honour of waiting on us." "Brother," replied Miss Umphraville, +"you know we don't deal in giving feasts; but if Colonel Plum can dine +on a plain dinner, without his foreign dishes and French sauces, I can +prepare him a bit of good mutton, and a hearty welcome." + +'On the day appointed, Colonel Plum arrived, and along with him the +gay, the sprightly Sir Bobby Button, who had posted down to the +country to enjoy two days' shooting at Colonel Plum's, where he +arrived just as that gentleman was setting out for Mr. Umphraville's. +Sir Bobby, always easy, and who, in every society, is the same, +protested against the Colonel's putting off his visit, and declared he +would be happy to attend him. + +'Though I had but little knowledge of Sir Bobby, I was perfectly +acquainted with his character; but to Umphraville he was altogether +unknown, and I promised myself some amusement from the contrast of two +persons so opposite in sentiments, in manners, and in opinions. + +'When he was presented I observed Umphraville somewhat shocked with +his dress and figure, in both of which, it must be confessed, he +resembled a monkey of a larger size. Sir Bobby, however, did not allow +him much time to contemplate his external appearance, for he +immediately, without any preparation or apology, began to attack the +old gentleman on the bad taste of his house, and of everything about +it. "Why the devil," said he, "don't you enlarge your windows, and cut +down those damned hedges and trees that spoil your lawn so miserably? +If you would allow me, I would undertake, in a week's time, to give +you a clever place." To this Umphraville made no answer; and indeed +the baronet was so fond of hearing himself talk, and chattered away at +such a rate, that he neither seemed to desire nor to expect an answer. + + [Illustration] + +'On Miss Umphraville's coming in, he addressed himself to her, and, +after displaying his dress, and explaining some particulars with +regard to it, he began to entertain her with an account of the +gallantries in which he had been engaged the preceding winter in +London. He talked as if no woman could resist his persuasive address +and elegant figure--as if London were one great seraglio, and he +himself the mighty master of it.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. II. No. 74. + +'Dreams depend in part on the state of the air; that which has power +over the passions may reasonably be presumed to have power over the +thoughts of men. Now, most people know by experience how effectual, in +producing joy and hope, are pure skies and sunshine, and that a long +continuance of dark weather brings on solicitude and melancholy. This +is particularly the case with those persons whose nervous system has +been weakened by a sedentary life and much thinking; and they, as I +hinted formerly, are most subject to troublesome dreams. If the +external air can affect the motions of so heavy a substance as mercury +in the tube of a barometer, we need not wonder that it should affect +those finer liquids that circulate through the human body. + +'How often, too, do thoughts arise during the day which we cannot +account for, as uncommon, perhaps, and incongruous, as those which +compose our dreams! Once, after riding thirty miles in a very high +wind, I remember to have passed a night of dreams that were beyond +description terrible; insomuch that I at last found it expedient to +keep myself awake, that I might no more be tormented with them. Had I +been superstitious, I should have thought that some disaster was +impending. But it occurred to me that the tempestuous weather I had +encountered the preceding day might be the occasion of all these +horrors; and I have since, in some medical author, met with a remark +to justify the conjecture.' + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 79. + +OF PASTORAL POETRY. + +'It may be doubted whether the representation of sentiments belonging +to the _real_ inhabitants of the country, who are strangers to all +refinement, or those entertained by a person of an elegant and +cultivated mind, who from choice retires into the country with a view +of enjoying those pleasures which it affords, is calculated to produce +a more interesting picture. If the former is recommended by its +_naivete_ and simplicity, it may be expected that the latter should +have the preference in point of beauty and variety. + + [Illustration] + +'The enlargement of the field of pastoral poetry would surely be of +advantage, considering how much the common topics of that species of +writing are already exhausted. We are become weary of the ordinary +sentiments of shepherds, which have been so often repeated, and which +have usually nothing but the variety of expression to recommend them. +The greater part of the productions which have appeared under the name +of pastorals are, accordingly, so insipid as to have excited little +attention; which is the more remarkable because the subjects which +they treat of naturally interest the affections, and are easily +painted in such delusive colours as tend to soothe the imagination by +romantic dreams of happiness.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 84. + +'To dispute the right of fashion to enlarge, to vary, or to change the +ideas, both of man and woman kind, were a want of good breeding, of +which the author of a periodical publication, who throws himself, as +it were, from day to day on the protection of the polite world, cannot +be supposed capable. + +'I pay, therefore, little regard to the observations of some +antiquated correspondents who pretend to set up what they call the +invariable notions of things against the opinions and practice of +people of condition. + +'I am afraid that Edinburgh (talking like a man who has travelled) is +but a sort of mimic metropolis, and cannot fairly pretend to the same +license of making a fool of itself as London or Paris. The circle, +therefore, taking them _en gros_, of our fashionable people here, have +seldom ventured on the same beautiful irregularity in dress, in +behaviour, or in manners that is frequently practised by the leaders +of _ton_ in the capital of France or England. + + [Illustration] + +'With individuals the same rule of subordination is to be observed, +which, however, persons of extraordinary parts, of genius above their +condition, are sometimes apt to overlook. I perceive, in the pit of +the play-house, some young men who have got fuddled on punch, as noisy +and as witty as the gentlemen in the boxes who have been drinking +Burgundy; and others, who have come sober from the counter or +writing-desk, give almost as little attention to the play as men of +3,000 l. a year. My old school acquaintance, Jack Wou'd-be, t'other +morning had a neckcloth as dirty as a lord's, and picked his teeth +after dinner, for a quarter of an hour, by the assistance of the +little mirror in the lid of his tooth-pick case. I take the first +opportunity of giving him a friendly hint, that this practice is +elegant only in a man who has made the tour of Europe.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 32. + +_An Essay upon Figure-Makers._ + +'There is a species of animal, several of whom must have fallen under +the notice of everybody present, which it is difficult to class either +among the witty or the foolish, the clever or the dull, the wise or +the mad, who, of all others, have the greatest propensity to +figure-making. Nature seems to have made them up in haste, and to have +put the different ingredients, above referred to, into their +composition at random. Here there is never wanting a junta of them of +both sexes, who are liked or hated, admired or despised, who make +people laugh, or set them asleep, according to the fashion of the time +or the humour of the audience, but who have always the satisfaction of +talking themselves, or of being talked of by others. With us, indeed, +a very moderate degree of genius is sufficient for this purpose; in +small societies folks are set agape by small circumstances. I have +known a lady here contrive to make a figure for half the winter on the +strength of a plume of feathers, or the trimming of a petticoat; and a +gentleman make shift to be thought a fine fellow, only by outdoing +everybody else in the thickness of his _queue_, or the height of his +foretop.' + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 98. + +A student of 'good parts' has accepted, for one year, the post of +resident tutor to a young gentleman with rich expectations. He writes +to the 'Mirror,' describing the little progress he can make in the +advancement of his pupil's education, owing to the frivolous +interruptions which postpone serious application from day to day. +Study has been already set aside, on various pretexts, for the first +four days of the week. The close of his letter relates how he fared on +the Friday and Saturday. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +'"You must know," says Mrs. Flint, the gentleman's mamma, at +breakfast, "that I am assured that Jemmy is very like the Count de +Provence, the King of France's own brother. Now Jemmy is sitting for +his picture to Martin, and I thought it would be right to get the +_friseur_, whom you saw last night [he has just arrived from Paris], +to dress his hair like the Count de Provence, that Mr. Martin might +make the resemblance more complete. Jemmy has been under his hands +since seven o'clock. Oh, here he comes!" "Is it not charming?" +exclaimed Miss Juliana. "I wish your future bride could see you," +added the happy mother. My pupil, lost in the labyrinth of cross +curls, seems to look about for himself. "What a powdered sheep's head +have we got here?" cried Captain Winterbottom. We all went to Mr. +Martin's to assist him in drawing Jemmy's picture. On our return, Mrs. +Flint discovered that her son had got an inflammation in his right eye +by looking steadfastly on the painter. She ordered a poultice of +bread and milk, and put him to bed; so there was no more talk of +"Omnibus in terris" for that evening. + +'My pupil came down to breakfast in a complete suit of black, with +weepers, and a long mourning-cravat. The Count de Provence's curls +were all demolished, and there remained not a vestige of powder on his +hair. "Bless me!" cried I, "what is the matter?" "Oh, nothing," said +Mrs. Flint; "a relation of mine is to be interred at twelve, and Jemmy +has got a burial letter. We ought to acknowledge our friends on such +melancholy occasions, I mean to send Jemmy with the coach-and-six; it +will teach him how to behave himself in public places." + +'At dinner my pupil expressed a vehement desire to go to the play. +"There is to be 'Harlequin Highlander,' and the blowing up of the St. +Domingo man-of-war," said he; "it will be vastly comical and curious." +"Why, Jemmy," said Mrs. Flint, "since this is Saturday, I suppose your +tutor will have no objection; but be sure to put on your great coat, +and to take a chair in coming home." "I thought," said I, "that we +might have made some progress at our books this evening." "Books on +Saturday afternoon!" cried the whole company; "it was never heard of." +I yielded to conviction; for, indeed, it would have been very +unreasonable to have expected that he who had spent the whole week in +idleness should begin to apply himself to his studies on the evening +of Saturday.' + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 105. + +The editor is enlarging on certain vanities and fashionable +absurdities which town people, when they rusticate for change of air, +cannot forbear importing with them. + +'In the first place, I would beg of those who migrate from the City +not to carry too much of the town with them into the country. I will +allow a lady to exhibit the newest-fashioned cut in her riding-habit, +or to astonish a country congregation with the height of her +head-dress; and a gentleman, in like manner, to _sport_, as they term +it, a grotesque pattern of a waistcoat, or to set the children agape +by the enormous size of his buckles. These are privileges to which +gentlemen and ladies may be thought to have entitled themselves by the +expense and trouble of a winter's residence in the capital. But there +is a provoking though a civil sort of consequence such people are apt +to assume in conversation which, I think, goes beyond the just +prerogative of _township_, and is, a very unfair encroachment on the +natural rights of their friends and relations in the country. They +should consider that though there are certain subjects of _ton_ and +fashion on which they may pronounce _ex cathedra_ (if I may be allowed +so pedantic a phrase) yet that, even in the country, the senses of +hearing, seeing, tasting, and smelling may be enjoyed to a certain +extent, and that a person may like or dislike a new song, a new +lutestring, a French dish, or an Italian perfume, though such person +has been unfortunate enough to pass last winter at a hundred miles' +distance from the metropolis.' + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + +THE 'MIRROR.'--Vol. III. No. 108. + +The editor is recounting a deeply sentimental story, written with all +seriousness, in a style sufficiently burlesque and laughable. It +refers to the love of Sir Edward, an English gentleman, who, while +travelling in Piedmont, had met with an accidental fall from his +horse, and been carried to the residence of a small proprietor named +Venoni, for whose daughter the baronet immediately conceived a +tenderness, which was returned by the fair Louisa. + +'The disclosure of Sir Edward's passion was interrupted by the +untoward arrival of Louisa's parent, accompanied with one of their +neighbours, a coarse, vulgar, ignorant man, whose possessions led her +father to look upon him with favour. Venoni led his daughter aside, +told her he had brought her future husband, and that he intended they +should be married in a week at furthest. + +'Next morning Louisa was indisposed, and kept her chamber. Sir Edward +was now perfectly recovered. He was engaged to go out with Venoni; but +before his departure he took up his violin, and touched a few +plaintive notes on it. They were heard by Louisa. + +'In the evening she wandered forth to indulge her sorrows alone. She +had reached a sequestered spot, where some poplars formed a thicket, +on the banks of a little stream that watered the valley. A nightingale +was perched on one of them, and had already begun its accustomed song. +Louisa sat down on a withered stump, leaning her cheek upon her hand. +After a little while, the bird was scared from its perch, and flitted +from the thicket. Louisa rose from the ground, and burst into tears. +She turned--and beheld Sir Edward. His countenance had much of its +former languor; and, when he took her hand, he cast on the earth a +melancholy look, and seemed unable to speak his feelings. + + [Illustration] + + * * * * * + +'Louisa was at last overcome. Her face was first pale as death, then +suddenly it was crossed with a crimson blush. "Oh, Sir Edward!" she +said. "What--what would you have me do?" He eagerly seized her hand, +and led her reluctant to the carriage. They entered it, and, driving +off with furious speed, were soon out of sight of those hills which +pastured the flocks of the forsaken Venoni.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + Thackeray as an Illustrator -- The 'North British Review' on + Thackeray -- Illustrations to 'Men of Character' -- The + 'Whitey-brown Paper Magazine' -- 'Comic Tales,' illustrated by + Thackeray -- Allusions to Caricature Drawing found throughout his + writings -- Skits on Fashion -- Titmarsh on 'Men and Clothes' -- + Bohemianism in youth -- Hatred of conventionality -- Sketches of + Contemporary Habits and Manners -- Imaginative Illustrations to + Romances -- Skill in Ludicrous Parody -- Burlesque of the + 'Official Handbook of Court and State.' + + +Although Thackeray must go down to posterity as an author, and, of +necessity, in that character will hold his own as one of the very +greatest of English writers, his earnest ambition sought occupation in +the career of an artist, and, as must be familiar to our readers, the +desire for this distinction retained its hold on his spirit through +life. + + [Illustration] + +As a humorous designer we must accord him a position of eminence, and +the characteristic originality of his pencil certainly entitles +Thackeray to an honourable place in the front rank of fanciful +draughtsmen. + +The illustrations which he supplied in profusion for the embellishment +of his own writings have a certain happy harmony with the thread of +the story, which probably no other hand could have contributed. In the +field of design, especially of the grotesque order, his imagination +was singularly fertile, and the little figures with which he loved to +appositely point the texts of his week-day sermons and moralities +strike forcibly by their ingenuity and by the aptness of their +conception. + + [Illustration] + +'He draws well,' insists the author of an unusually thoughtful and +sound paper on Thackeray;[31] 'his mouths and noses, his feet, his +children's heads, all his ugly and queer "mugs," are wonderful for +expression and good drawing. With beauty of man or woman he is not so +happy; but his fun is, we think, even more abounding and funnier in +his cuts than in his words. He is, as far as we can recollect, the +only great author who illustrated his own works. This gives a singular +completeness to the result. When his pen has said its say, then comes +his pencil and adds its own felicity.' + +The article just referred to, which we cannot recommend too highly, is +written in a spirit of such just excellence as could only have been +arrived at after long personal acquaintance with Thackeray's higher +qualities. The same number contains the facsimile of a remarkably +clever and characteristic pen-and-ink drawing in the humourist's best +style, which was originally sent to a friend in the North in place of +a letter--a practice not unusual with him. One corner of the little +picture contains a 'memorandum of account' to this effect:-- + + 'To a new plum-coloured coat. + + 'DR. GOLDSMITH (Mitre Court). To J. FILBY, Dr.' + +Oliver Goldsmith and Dr. Johnson are both passing the shop-front of +the unfortunate tailor. The actors in this comedietta are so absorbed +in their several occupations--the lexicographer in a book, Goldy in +self-admiration--that they don't notice the tailor, who, too, is +completely paralysed at the double spectacle of his coat and his +debtor; his assistant is grinning with both his sides--the consequence +of the passing of the customer and the discomfiture of his master, who +looks somewhat of a 'grinder;' while a pair of arch-faced, merry +little urchins are copying to the life the shuffle and swagger +respectively of the two Doctors. We will let the paper speak for +itself:-- + +'This drawing is a good specimen of his work; it tells its own story, +as every drawing should. Here is the great lexicographer, with his +ponderous shuffling tread, his thick lips, his head bent down, his +book close to his purblind eyes, himself _totus in illo_, reading, as +he fed, greedily and fast. Beside him simpers the clumsy and inspired +Oliver, in his new plum-coloured coat; his eyes bent down in an +ecstasy of delight, for is he not far prouder of his visage--and such +a visage!--and of his coat than of his artless genius? We all know +about that coat, and how Mr. Filby never got paid for it. There he is +behind his window, in sartorial posture; his uplifted goose arrested, +his eye following wistfully, and not without a sense of glory and +dread, that coat and man. His journeyman is grinning at him; he is +paid weekly, and has no risk. And then what a genuine bit of +Thackeray, the street-boy and his dear little admiring sister!--there +they are stepping out in mimicry of the great two.' + +The article from which this passage is quoted contains a letter, full +of grave feeling and sensibility, which Thackeray wrote, in 1848, in +acknowledging one of those spontaneous expressions of gratitude that +are occasionally found to cheer an author on his way, and to awaken in +his mind the encouraging sense of sympathy from unexpected quarters. + +'There happened to be placed in the window of an Edinburgh jeweller a +silver statuette of "Mr. Punch," with his dress _en rigueur_ his +comfortable and tidy paunch, with all its buttons; his hunch; his +knee-breeches, with their ties; his compact little legs, one foot a +little forward; and the intrepid and honest, kindly little fellow +firmly set on his pins, with his customary look of up to and good for +anything. In his hand was his weapon, a pen; his skull was an inkhorn, +and his cap its lid. A passer-by--who had long been grateful to our +author, as to a dear unknown and enriching friend, for his writings in +"Fraser" and in "Punch," and had longed for some way of reaching him +and telling him how his work was relished and valued--bethought +himself of sending this inkstand to Mr. Thackeray. He went in, and +asked its price. "Ten guineas, sir." He said to himself, "There are +many who feel as I do; why shouldn't we send it up to him? I'll get +eighty several half-crowns, and that will do it" (he had ascertained +there would be discount for ready money). With the help of a friend, +the half-crowns were soon forthcoming, and it is pleasant to remember +that in the "octogint" are the names of Lord Jeffrey and Sir William +Hamilton, who gave their half-crowns with the heartiest good-will. A +short note was written, telling the story. The little man in silver +was duly packed and sent, with the following inscription round the +base:-- + + 'GULIELMO MAKEPEACE THACKERAY. + ARMA VIRUMQUE + GRATI NECNON GRATAE EDINENSES + LXXX. + D. D. D.' + +How far Thackeray would have succeeded as an illustrator of other +men's thoughts there is but little that has been published to prove. +His separate cuts in 'Punch' are remarkably happy and droll, but they +have none of those graver and more aspiring qualities which authors +perhaps might have looked for in the sketches of a young gentleman who +proposed seriously to draw pictures for their stories. It is conceded +that for the embellishment of his own writings Thackeray's eye, hand, +and pencil possessed every desirable qualification; and it is not +improbable that the same facilities would have enabled him to offer to +others, as his powers became matured, a share of the advantages which +his ready wit brought to his own pictorial embellishments. + +The few instances of his productions as an illustrator, pure and +simple, are too early to come under fair criticism. Before he had +acquired practice with his etching-needle, and certainly before he had +found out his own particular style, he tried his hand at a set of +copper plates, with the example of Seymour, it is believed, to guide +his then imperfect knowledge of the art by means of which he desired +to publish his designs. + +The admirable series of 'Men of Character,' which Douglas Jerrold +originally contributed as magazine papers, were collected in three +volumes and published by Colburn in 1838. These volumes were +illustrated with several plates, the humour of which is undeniable, +although it may be thought that the subjects have suffered in +execution. The name of the artist does not appear, but there is no +doubt that Thackeray supplied these designs to adorn the book of his +friend and fellow _litterateur_; the incidents selected are all +sufficiently farcical for humorous delineation, and that they have +certainly had at the hands of the draughtsman. + +'The Practical Philosophy of Adam Buff' (the Man without a Shirt) is +completely set out in the frontispiece, where, soused with water, the +moral professor is invited by a 'rough' to strip 'to his shirt' and +show his skill with his fists. Buff's coat is buttoned to the chin, to +conceal the absence of his linen, and with his huge shoulder of mutton +hands he is striking the attitude of immovable moral dignity which won +the heart of his patron. A likeness to this identical pugilistic +coal-whipper will be found in one of Thackeray's wood-cuts to the +'Town and Gown Row' in 'Codlingsby' ('Punch's Prize Novelists'). The +'Fall of Pippins' represents that too susceptible youth on his knees +before his lady mistress, whom he has awakened with a kiss. The +indignation of the outraged fair, the abject terror and contrition of +Pippins, the fury of the jealous husband, Sir Scipio Mannikin, who is +breaking in upon the transgressor with uplifted cane, and the startled +faces of the domestic chaplain and his followers, are all successfully +indicated. From bad to worse, we next find 'Job Pippins--Murderer.' +The unfortunate youth, labouring under a very unpleasant suspicion, +has been dragged into still more objectionable company; he is +nervously seated on the edge of a stool, in a hut tenanted by burglars +and cut-purses. A young girl, the mistress of a highwayman, captain of +the gang, has one of those pretty, innocent faces Thackeray always +expressed so successfully. + +'Jack Runnymede's Dream' is perhaps the most indicative of the +artist's vein of grotesque humour. This champion of the 'rights of an +Englishman' had a peculiar dream before commencing a suit at law. He +fancied the Father of Evil met him by the wayside, performing like a +shepherd on his pipe, and tendered him a 'little pup.' The Satanic +person is set forth with great imaginative attractiveness, and the +convolutions of his tail are very elaborate. + +'John Applejohn's Humane Intentions' are displayed just at the very +instant they were most liable to uncharitable misinterpretation, for +he is caught, on his knees, with a bunch of keys, evidently in the act +of lock-picking. 'Maximilian Tape before the Lords,' represents the +little journeyman tailor just as he was captured by those promising +slips of the aristocracy, Lord Slap, Tom Rumpus, young Plucky, and +Rowdow; while one of the party is breaking a plate over his affrighted +head that he may prove his trade by stitching it together again. 'Mr. +Cramlington,' Applejohn's master, in his borrowed locks and whiskers, +the son of Tape's employer, a West End outfitter, who has got +introduced to this fine, improving society, under the assumption of +being a 'man of fashion,' is looking on the scene in ill-concealed +dread of his own recognition and exposure. + +In the 'Final Reward of John Applejohn,' that unfortunate but well +meaning, simple youth, just captured from the front of a booth, and +still in the dress of a statue, in which character he narrowly escaped +demolition, is restored to the "girl of his heart." + +'Barnaby Palms Feeling his Way' is shown, the epitome of artfulness, +at the breakfast-table of his worthy uncle, where he is taking his +last meal before setting out to seek his fortune in the world. The +wily youth insisted on eating a stale egg, declaring he 'did not care +for his eggs over-fresh,' in order to win the heart of his relative, +before whom is displayed a well-filled money-bag--Barnaby's +anticipated 'start in life.' It may be remembered that the uncle +expressed his earnest conviction that a man 'who did not care for his +eggs over-fresh' was sure to make his way by himself, and so sent +Barnaby forth without the coveted money-bag. + +'Cheek's Introduction to a New Subject' represents the prison-yard, +where the dwarf artist and modeller, Mr. Pop, is maliciously enjoying +the spectacle of his employer, Cheek, the waxwork showman, in a state +of horror, with his hand locked in the fist of Kemp, the murderer, +whose head they have come down to 'take off' after execution. 'The +Ghost of Kemp' represents Aaron, the Jew fence, waking from his guilty +slumbers to discover the murderer's head, which Pop has modelled and +placed for security on the window-sill, where it is suddenly disclosed +by the moonlight to the conscience-stricken and horrified 'receiver of +stolen goods,' who had congratulated himself that the hangman's noose +had effectually removed all evidence of his own guilt. + +'Matthew Clear, the Man who Saw his Way,' is introduced in the fatal +instance of 'not seeing his way' which proved his ruin; seated on a +sofa with the artful adventuress whose fortune the long-headed Clear +flattered himself he should secure by persuading her into a marriage. +He is planted very comfortably on a little sofa, below the simpering +portrait of his bride. Julia's arms are round the neck of the deluded +Clear; on his knee is perched a great lubberly boy, a pledge of +affection to which it appears the lady stands 'almost in the light of +a mother.' Matthew, evidently lost as to 'his way,' is successfully +cajoled; and Mrs. Clear's parrot, which had been educated on board +ship, is shrieking demoniacally, 'Hooked, by Jingo!' + +The last plate illustrates the 'Introduction of Titus Trumps to Miss +Wolfe.' The confiding hero of this story, whose belief in something +'turning up' favourable was ineradicable, is being confronted by the +peppery Baronet, Sir Jeremy Sloth, with his daughter, the mature but +impressionable Emily, when he has actually come to pay a visit to her +maid, whose relatives keep a public-house with the sign of 'General +Wolfe.' + +These illustrations would probably have achieved more success had the +artist confined himself to the bold outline manner of etching in which +his better-known plates are executed, and in which he early exhibited +a fair proficiency. His desire to conform to the fashion of the day +(the 'Pickwick Papers' were publishing at the time) led him to attempt +a style in which he had not enjoyed sufficient experience to qualify +him to produce results which would compare favourably with the works +of older hands. + +Another _jeu d'esprit_ from his pencil, commenced somewhat later, is +considerably more in the unmistakeable Titmarshian vein; indeed, for +the force and fun of its satire, it perhaps excels all that he ever +did in the indulgence of his amazing talents for ludicrous +personalities. We refer to the series of illustrations, or rather +caricatures, suggested for the 'Whitey-brown Paper Magazine,' which +was never issued. The rarity of these _croquis_, merely a few loose +lithographed leaves, drawn by Thackeray himself, is so excessive that +it is stated that the only original copy which has come under our +notice cost the proprietor no less than forty guineas. The entire +paper, which in its intention does not differ widely from certain of +the 'Yellowplush Papers,' is directed to ridicule the consequence of +Dr. Lardner, editor of the 'Cabinet Cyclopaedia,' and his friend Sir +Bulwer Lytton. It may be remembered that the 'Literary Chronicle,' +under the influence of these gentlemen, was a pet aversion to its +rival 'Fraser,' with Dr. Maginn and Titmarsh to the front. The +caricatures commence with a 'Preface, Advertisement, or Introduction,' +to which we must briefly refer in order to bring on the scene the +young gentleman whose history is displayed in the caricatures, and who +it was stated, lest persons should fancy the ridicule directed against +any of the writer's contemporaries, lived many thousands of years ago +in the reign of Chrononhotonthologos, King of Brentford. + +This gentleman's name was Dionysius Diddler, and the historian hastens +to anticipate misconstruction by explaining that he was no relation of +any other Dionysius, nor indeed a native of Brentford (though, it is +confessed, Diddlers certainly abound in that place). + +Dionysius, who was sixty years of age and wore a wig and false teeth, +according to his biographer, came over as a young fellow from Patland, +and, finding the people of Brentford more easily humbugged and more +ignorant than any people on earth, settled himself there, in his +trade, which was that of a philosopher; an excellent profession, by +which Dionysius would have made a pretty penny, only he spent his +money in trying to be a man of fashion, in buying clothes, and other +genteel diversions. + +In consequence of this extravagance, although his learning had made +his name famous (every one has heard of his 'Essay on the Tea-Kettle,' +his 'Remarks on Pumps,' and his celebrated 'Closet Cyclopaedia'), poor +Diddler found himself one day, after forty years of glory, turned out +of his lodging, without a penny, without his wig--which, sad to say, +he had pawned--without even his false teeth, which, seeing he had no +use for them, he had pawned too. + +The first sketch pictures Dionysius Diddler, young, innocent, and with +a fine head of hair, on which he wears an old felt hat and band very +much out of shape. He wears a clerical-cut buttoned-up vest; a +bob-tail coat, very short in the waist and sleeves, and long in the +sparrow-tails; his face (an admirable likeness of the Doctor is +preserved throughout) is adorned with 'specs;' his 'brogues' are very +short, and patched; his shoes are decidedly primitive; a 'shellalee' +is playfully twirled in his right hand; under his left arm is his +learned library, for he is a young student of Ballybunion University, +which noble foundation is seen under the hedge shown in the veracious +artist's background, and, we are sorry to think, the famous college +looks very like a bog-hut with a hole in the roof to let the smoke +through. In contrast to this bright image of his gallant youth is the +picture of the Doctor, after forty years of fame, thrown on the world +very lean and miserable; the crown of his famous old felt hat is +flopping down behind, the brim is very limp and ragged; his stock is +buttoned close, as is what remains of his coat, for vest or linen he +has none. Elbows are out, so are arm-pits; tails are mere fringe, +trousers to match, and oh, such dreadful, shapeless, soleless old +bluchers, and, we are afraid, no socks! + +Poor old Diddler, with a paper bag on his head in place of his wig, +with his face sunken in for the want of his teeth, with his old +bludgeon in one hand, and the other exposing the ragged remains of a +bottomless pocket, is looking wistfully out of his old barnacles, as +he thinks of dear Ballybunion. 'I'm femous,' he is soliloquising, 'all +the wurrrld over; but what's the use of riputetion? Look at me, with +all me luggage at the end of me stick--all me money in me left-hand +breeches pocket--and it's oh! but I'd give all me celibrity for a bowl +of butthermilk and petaties.' + +A happy thought strikes the Doctor in this strait. He goes off to see +what his publisher will do for him; and the next view we have of poor +Dionysius is more cheerful. He is in the shop of Mr. Shortman; 'an' +sure an' ouns!' Diddler's face wears the most gratified smile possible +to be produced without teeth. His roofless hat is on the floor; the +state of the top makes it hold his 'shellalee' all the more +conveniently. On the shelves, sure enough on the book-shelves, is the +'Closet Cyclopaedia;' and leaning over the counter, on which he has +just laid down three five-pound notes and three sovereigns for the +delighted Dionysius to sweep up, is the eminent publisher, white +neckcloth and all, in his habit as he lived; a capital caricature +likeness of the head of the firm of Longman and Co. + +Diddler rapidly turns his money to account in reinstating himself as +an elegant member of society and art--the man of fashion the rogue +longed to be. The first thing he does is to take his wig out of pawn. +Here the artist has shown him in the Lombardian counting-house; and, +while his 'relative' is examining certain securities (in the way of +personal garments) upon which some of his clients in the private boxes +desire advances, our fashionable Doctor takes the opportunity of +readjusting before a looking-glass his head of hair, which has +suffered somewhat by recent incarceration, his fingers being converted +into curling-tongs to replace in some degree its pristine splendour. + +'And now,' says he, 'I'll go, take a sthroll to the Wist Ind, and +call on me frind Sir Hinry Pelham.' It appears that the noble +Baronet's West End residence is situated in a neighbourhood no less +celebrated than 'famed Red Lion's fashionable Square.' We are offered +a jaunty back view of the revived dandy Diddler, as with a swagger of +considerable sprightliness, and a genteel comedy strut, he is +endeavouring to carry off the impression of his ragged wardrobe, and +make the holes in his elbows pass current as a light, airy fashion. +The imposing wig is made the most of; one massive lock, like a whisk +of tow, is elegantly brushed about four inches beyond one ear, while +the famous limp white hat, with its black band, and the top flapping +about like the lid of a milk-pail, is cocked over the other. Carriages +in the distance, with footmen suspended in pairs to the splashboard +behind, attest the highly respectable character of the vicinity. + +Sir Hinry Pelham is fortunately at home, reposing in a sumptuous easy +chair, and splendidly apparelled in a long black satin stock, a +flowing dressing-gown with collars and cuffs of some gorgeous +material, and pointed Turkish slippers. The Baronet's fashionable +exterior is very characteristic; his hair is thrown back in a rich +cataract, over the back of his stock, his full curled whiskers +ambrosially droop below his chin, his brow is noble, his eyebrow +arched, his eye is haughty, as is his fine-bridged and well-defined +hook-nose. This tremendous lion is evidently just roused from a state +of well-bred listlessness, and he is propped up on the elbows of his +lounge, while he regards, with sleepy astonishment, a banknote which +his friend is flourishing before him with an air. + +Diddler has thrown his hat on the floor, thrust his stick through the +opening in the top, and drawn up a chair upon which he is straddling +his long body and little legs in a consequential and impressive +attitude. 'Pelham, me boy,' says he, 'you have clothes, and I have +cridit; here's a five-pound note, and rig me out in a new shoot.' + +In the next plate, Pelham, solacing himself with a cigar, is modestly +concealing his features in a magazine; while Diddler--having discarded +his shocking old clothes, which, with his vagabond hat and stick, lie +scattered about the Baronet's splendid apartments--is ensconsing +himself in one of Pelham's fashionable 'shoots;' a large cheval-glass +discreetly marks the operations of his toilet. 'Fait,' says Diddler, +'the what-d'ye-call-'ems fit me like a glove.' Pelham is still +engaged with his cigar and book in the following plate, but his +aristocratic profile is again displayed. Diddler is standing in front +of the cheval-glass contemplating with increased satisfaction his +improved and respectable appearance; in fact, he is dressed in one of +the Baronet's suits, the very height of the _mode_. His wig is now in +curl, a few handsome locks are brushed over his forehead, a curl or +two over his ears, and a row of curls over his stock behind. His +spectacles, which he never abandons, beam with satisfaction, and his +teeth are evidently replaced. He has a black satin stock very high in +the neck, and falling into a creasy, shiny avalanche below; his coat +has a broad collar, sleeves cut quite tight from the elbow, and snowy +wristbands. With one hand he is affectedly adjusting his shirt-collar, +while he admires the reflected effect of the other, displayed in an +attitude with his thumb in the pocket of his spotless white vest; +light trousers, literally fitting like a glove, as was then the +fashion, setting tightly over a pair of narrow boots with +extravagantly lengthened toes and high heels, which complete the +costume of this elegant old dandy. + +'And upon me honour and conshience,' says he, 'now I'm dthressed, but +I look intirely ginteel.' + +In the last cut which has reached us we see the exterior of Sir +Hinry's noble mansion, in Red Lion Square. The dandy Doctor, dressed +in Pelham's coat, hat, boots, and pantaloons, stock, and spurs, is +mistaken for the Baronet himself by Hodge, his groom, who leads round +Pelham's horse, and, holding the stirrup, respectfully invites +Dionysius to mount; and Diddler is shown in the picture generously +dropping a coin into the cap of the groom, who with his disengaged +hand is scratching his shock-head with astonishment. His face is a +study of comical surprise, his knees are shaking with fright; and as +the Doctor rides away, like the dashing blade he evidently considers +himself, fear seizes upon the soul of Hodge. Says he, 'That gemman +cannot be my master, for, as he rode away, he gave me sixpence, and my +dear master never gives me nothen.' + +Another capital plate introducing Bulwer and Lardner appeared in the +collection of 'Comic Tales,' already mentioned in this volume, and +published by Cunningham (1841), for which the author draws a fresh +series of illustrations. + +The caricature in question accompanies Mr. Yellowplush's 'Ajew,' the +opening of which is extremely droll and clever. The two 'eminent +gents' have just got out of their fly and are making their entrance at +the house of Sir John, who, as a Whig Baronet, receives 'littery +pipple;' poor Yellowplush is holding the door for these 'fust of +English writers,' and very much amazed he looks. Although the etching +is small, the likenesses are carefully worked out; the figure of +Bulwer in the 'Whitey-brown Papers' has all the characteristics, +slightly heightened, already given, except that he wears a suit of +evening dress--'a gilt velvet waistcoat,' with his wristbands turned +over the cuffs of his coat, and very tight gloves. The little Doctor +has thrust his arm under the wing of his friend, who struts very +affectedly in his close-fitting clothes, to exhibit to advantage his +small waist and falling shoulders. Lardner's wig is perhaps richer in +curls, his spectacles more beaming, his simper more satisfied; he is +adjusting the collar of his older-fashioned square-tailed coat over a +striped silk vest, which wrinkles over his rounded paunch; his +queer-shaped little legs are displayed in somewhat ill-fitting tights, +strapped over silk stockings and pumps tied with ribands. + +It may be remembered that the announcement of the arrival of these +'genlmn' created some confusion. The Doctor was indignant that any one +should fail to recognise so famous a celebrity, when Mr. Yellowplush +mildly asked for his name. + +'Name!--a! now you thief o' the wurrrld,' says he, 'do you pretind not +to know _me_? Say it's the Cabinet Cyclop----; no, I mane the +Litherary Chran----; psha!--bluthanouns! say it's Docthor Dioclesian +Larner----I think he'll know me now--ay, Nid?' But Nid had slipped out +of the way, being a little nervous about the good-breeding of his +friend, it is presumed. + +The second footman passed up the name as 'Doctor Athansius Larnder! +and by the time he got to the groom of the chambers, who made some +pretensions to scholarship, the little man was announced as '=Doctor +Ignatius Loyola=!' + +The other gentleman, when requested to give his name (it was at the +time people were talking about the eminent novelist's chances of being +made a baronet), said in 'a thick, gobbling kind of voice': + + 'Sawedwadgeorgeearllittnbulwig;' + +which rather dumfoundered Mr. Yellowplush. That accomplished writer +evidently watched the two 'littery genlmn' with interest, as he +records the gratifying fact that 'they behaved very well, and seemed +to have good appytights.' + +The little Irishman especially distinguished himself, eating, +drinking, and talking enough for six; and, after the wine, described +how he had lately been presented at court by his friend Mr. Bulwig, +and how her gracious Majesty had desired him to tell her the _bona +fide_ sale of the 'Cabinet Cyclopaedia,' and how he had assured her, on +his honour, that it was under ten thousand. + +The entire illustrations of these 'Comic Tales and Sketches' are +engraved with great neatness and spirit; and, in spite of their small +size, they are superior, in carefulness of execution and attention to +detail, to most of Thackeray's etchings. + +The figure of a jester forms the frontispiece. A placard, which nearly +conceals his person, exhibits the portraits of the three celebrities +who are concerned in the work. The genteel Mr. Fitzroy Yellowplush, in +his footman's livery, with a gold-headed cane in his right hand, has +hold of one arm of the more homely Michael Angelo Titmarsh, who is in +his turn looking up to the ferocious and colossal Major Gahagan, with +whose stride he is absurdly endeavouring to keep pace. The Major's is +a truly terrific figure. The enormous plumes of his high Polish shako, +with the skull and cross-bones in front, are waving in the breeze, as +is his long hair, his pointed moustache, and his spreading beard. His +manly chest is displayed in a tight-fitting cavalry jacket, his +shapely limbs are encased in embroidered tights and heavily tasseled +Hessians, a sabre as tall as Titmarsh reposes on his stalwart arm, and +altogether he appears some nine feet high. + +The trio, thus marching hand in hand together, are supposed to be on +the very verge of immortality, which, in the sketch, uncommonly +resembles a precipice. + +The other illustrations of the two small volumes, all of which are +printed in a warm sepia tint, consist of 'Mrs. Shum's Ejectment;' Mr. +Deuceace paying for his Papa's Cigars;' 'Mr. Deuceace's disinterested +Declaration;' 'Mr. Yellowplush displaying his Credentials' (his plush +garments to wit); 'Major Gahagan, from the great portrait by Titmarsh, +in the gallery of H.H. the Nawaub of Budge Budge;' 'The Major +discovering the Infidelity of Mrs. Chowder Loll' (where his +tremendous figure is striding across the 'tattees,' through a window, +into the very midst of the disconcerted family); 'The Major's +Interview with a Celebrated Character' (no less a personage than the +Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, who is on tip-toe, dressed in the +historical little cocked-hat and grey coat, trying to put his small +figure more on a level with the overwhelming Gahagan: in the +background an English general of the period, dressed in a +crescent-shaped cocked-hat and plume, a tight long coat, with +swallow-tails reaching to his heels, and white ducks split over the +boots, with a telescope under his arm, is in conversation with one of +the fierce-looking French Marshals); 'The Major in the Tent of Puttee +Rouge' (a terrifying figure, disguised in black paint, affectionately +hugging a whisky-jar of considerable dimensions). + +The episode of the 'Professor' affords the artist a favourable +subject, which he treats with full comic force--' Mr. Dando declares +his Name and Quality.' It may be remembered that the oyster-eater has +taken advantage of the absence of the proprietor to obtain an +unlimited supply of his favourite bivalves at an oyster-room, where +the mistress did not recognise her unprincipled customer, but was even +so confiding as to send out for brandy-and-water in liberal proportion +to the oysters consumed by this scourge of supper-rooms. The +unfortunate proprietor has just returned in time to learn a +description of the business which has been done in his absence; in +some fear he is bringing in his bill, the while he is tying on his +professional apron. Mr. Dando is seated majestically on the table, +according to Thackeray's picture of the scene; swinging his legs about +in a semi-intoxicated state, and picking his teeth, in an unconcerned +and self-possessed manner, with an oyster-knife; a pile of shells, +sufficient for many grottoes, are at his feet, while the +horror-stricken servants are gathering other shells scattered around. +The professor is supposed to have just met the reasonable demand for +payment made by the deluded master of the establishment with a yell of +tipsy laughter, and the announcement that his name is _Dando_, and +that he never pays! Above his head may be read the comforting +intelligence that a great reduction is made on taking a quantity, to +which advantage Dando is very obviously entitled. + +The last plate ('Bedford Row Conspiracy'), 'Mr. Perkins discovered in +the Zoological Gardens,' depicts Mr. John Perkins standing, with the +fair Lucy Gorgon, on the parapet which surrounds the bearpit at the +Zoological Gardens. The lady's hands are placed on the gentleman's +shoulder, his arm is round her waist, she being somewhat timid, and he +is encouraging her to jump down--into his fond arms. She obeys him, +and jumps plump into the awful presence of her aunt and guardian, Lady +Gorgon, who is at the head of a neat little train, consisting of three +Miss Gorgons, Master Gorgon, a French governess, and a footman +carrying a poodle, all of whom had listened for some minutes to the +billings and cooings of this imprudent young pair. + + [Illustration: Prepared!] + + [Illustration: Original Studies of Halberdiers of the Georgian Era] + +The last story reprinted in this series is 'The Fatal Boots,' which +appears without any pictures, the artist and author modestly declaring +that, as this edifying narrative originally appeared with George +Cruikshank's illustrations (in the 'Comic Almanack' for 1839), he is +not inclined to provoke comparisons between the works of that eminent +designer and his own. + + * * * * * + +Allusions to caricature-drawing are frequent throughout Thackeray's +works, and he delighted to bring the young art-amateur on his scenes. + + [Illustration] + +With pencil as with pen, he had the power of carrying the mind back to +the days of the early essayists, and his reconstructive skill is +remarkable when he draws the picture of the times in which his rich +fancy and his taste for antiquarian completeness found the most +delightful materials. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +We follow the artist's quaint vein of humour and realism from the +little sketches of chivalry--the heroes of knight-errantry, +Crusaders, Saracens, and the more romantic personages--which amused +him in his boyhood, to his spirited studies illustrative of the days +when Dick Steele's 'Tatler' was beginning to be talked about as a +paper which contained a very unusual amount of entertainment, from its +whimsical combination of sterling wit and truth to nature. Thackeray +was peculiarly at home in the times of Queen Anne. We find his pencil +busy reproducing the figures of personages who moved in the world +under the early Georges; and the reign of the third George was as +intimately familiar to him, in all details of value, as if he had +lived through the triumphs, struggles, and disasters in which his +own writings revive a stronger interest. We enjoy his researches +through the great eras of England's history, when Washington led the +revolted colonies to independence, when Pitt and Toryism waged war in +the Senate with Fox and the friends of liberty, when the fever of +Revolution arose in France, and threatened to infect our own land, and +when the 'Corsican' was driven down to the death. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +Waterloo had a strong claim on Thackeray's interest; he is partial to +alluding to the critical point of our history, as all the reading +world well knows. + +It must be conceded that the chief incident of 'Vanity Fair' leads up +to the great battle. References to the famous field occur in many +portions of his gossip or travels, while figures are borrowed from +this event to carry out the arguments of his novels and lesser essays +under all sorts of circumstances. + + [Illustration] + +Even in 'Philip,' which deals with a later period, we are carried back +to that stirring epoch. For instance, there is that disreputable old +Gann, the tipsy father of Mrs. Brandon, whose acquaintance we made +originally in the 'Shabby Genteel Story.' It was always a matter of +doubt how this worthy came by his rank of Captain, which was supposed +to have had its rise somehow in connection with the Spanish Legion; +but, at all events, he had borne the distinction so long, that none of +his friends dreamt of investigating the title. + + [Illustration] + +The costume affected by 'bucks,' when Thackeray was a young man of +fashion, comes down to us as preserved in his sketches as something +very modish and singular, in which the taste and style seem nearly as +quaint and distant as the knee breeches and square skirts of the last +century. + +'Titmarsh,' who had the courage to dedicate the 'Paris Sketch-Book' to +a generous French tailor, was himself an authority on dress; and, +although above all pretensions to 'faddery and foppery,' was +accustomed to scrutinise closely not only men, but the habits they +wore. + +The reader may confirm what we have just said, if he will turn to the +vigorous and whimsical articles on 'Men and Coats,' which Thackeray +penned in his younger days. + +There is a fine specimen of freedom and independence of convention in +many of Thackeray's early writings, especially in those slashing, +downright papers which Titmarsh contributed to the magazines, chiefly +from the French capital, about the 'Paris Sketch-Book' period. + + [Illustration: A Buck of the Old School] + + [Illustration: Heads of the People] + +In those days of Bohemian license there was a fine sterling ring about +Thackeray's outspoken sentiments. In his manly freedom he cared little +whether the slashing sentences gave offence or not. + + [Illustration: Danger!] + +Criticising the paintings in the Louvre in a paper on 'Men and +Pictures,' we find the young art-student riding an audacious +tournament against conventionalisms. He takes very candid exception to +the practice of surrounding the heads of translated beings, and +particularly angels, with an invariable halo of gold leaf. He happens +to remember that stage tradition was always wont to dress the +gravedigger in 'Hamlet' in fifteen or sixteen waistcoats, all of which +are consecutively removed; and he presumes this ancient usage is +founded on some very early custom, real or supposititious, to depart +from which would savour of profane innovation. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: The Princess and the Frog] + +Another favourite bent of Thackeray's humour was the illustration of +books of fiction. He confessed he longed to write a story-book in +which generations upon generations of schoolboys should revel with +delight, and which should be filled with the most wonderful and +mirthful pictures. The illustrations on this and the preceding page +may serve to show what he might have done had he not more especially +devoted himself to literary work. + + [Illustration: Heads of the People] + + [Illustration: Frontispiece to Murray's 'Official Handbook of Church + and State'] + + [Illustration: The Legislature and Officers of the Houses of + Parliament] + +The facile character of Thackeray's pencil was remarkable; the +numerous sketches he left, and which in all probability, from the +circumstances of their ownership, will never in our day gratify a +public who would appreciate their publication, attest his versatile +industry. No subject came amiss to his hand; the most unsuggestive +works were to him rich in opportunities for whimsical parody. + + [Illustration: The House of Commons] + + [Illustration: Reduction of the National Debt.--Office, Old Jewry + +The Commissioners were originally appointed under the Statute of 26 +Geo. III. c. i. In that year a more active scheme was proposed for the +diminution of the National Debt, by the appropriation of one million +per annum to the Sinking Fund, and the moneys devoted to this end were +vested in the Commissioners, and placed under their management.] + + [Illustration: General Board of Health, Parliament Street] + + [Illustration: Clerk of the Petty Bag. Petty Bag Office, Rolls Yard] + + [Illustration: Groom in Waiting. + The Lord Chamberlain's Department, Office, Stable Yard, St. James's + Palace] + +No one can say the number of books, papers, scraps, &c., to which an +intrinsic value has been contributed by the great humourist's +_penchant_ for exercising his graphic fancy. + + [Illustration] + +FOOTNOTE: + +[31] _North British Review_, vol. xl., Feb. 1864. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + Thackeray as a Traveller -- Journey in Youth from India to + England -- Little Travels at Home -- Sojourn in Germany -- French + Trips -- Residence in Paris -- Studies in Rome -- Sketches and + Scribblings in Guide-Books -- Little Tours and Wayside Studies -- + Brussels -- Ghent and the Beguines -- Bruges -- _Croquis_ in + Murray's 'Handbooks to the Continent' -- Up the Rhine -- 'From + Cornhill to Grand Cairo' -- Journeys to America -- Switzerland -- + 'A Leaf out of a Sketch-Book' -- The Grisons -- Verona -- + 'Roundabout Journeys' -- Belgium and Holland. + + +Another aspect in which it is agreeable to contemplate Thackeray is +that of a traveller, for in this character he must have gone over a +considerable portion of the more interesting parts of the world. From +India to England, in his seventh year, with that memorable call at St. +Helena, where the youngster caught a fugitive glimpse of the great +Napoleon in his solitary exile. + + [Illustration: W. M. T. on his travels] + +Little journeyings about England between boyhood and youth, then a +stolen visit to Paris, in a college vacation. Then the residence at +Weimar and Eberfeld, with rovings about Germany. Then to Paris to see +the world, to study men, manners, and pictures; half art-student, half +pursuing the art of amusing oneself. Then a more serious application +to the earlier stages of that somewhat lengthy road which every +aspirant must plod who would follow the artist's career. + +Let us take up one of his travelling companions and pass a day with +the easy-working, comfortably-provided, and satirically-observant +young 'buck,' who found himself so pleasantly at home in Louis +Philippe's slightly uncertain capital. + +'Planta's Paris' is not the most familiar of travelling companions, +its descriptions are not altogether modern, but the glimpse it affords +us of the French capital is curious from the circumstance that it +registers the swiftness of change in the Centre of Pleasure. It might +be an amusing study to reproduce from its pages the attractions of +Paris in 1827, the date of the fifteenth edition of this work; but the +stout square little book possesses a stronger interest, as it had the +advantage of belonging to Michael Angelo Titmarsh, and in his pocket +it probably tumbled and tossed across the Channel. + + [Illustration: At Weimar] + +It is rather difficult to connect Mr. Titmarsh with the stereotyped +extracts of a guide-book, but the copy under consideration was +fortunately selected as a repository for the occasional sketches +suggested to the fancy of its proprietor. + + [Illustration] + +In those 'flying stage' days travellers booked their passage, per +coach, from the Spread Eagle, Piccadilly, to Paris. On this service +the journey from Calais to Paris was performed by the 'Hirondelle' in +thirty hours. It was in this manner Mr. Pogson accomplished his +eventful first journey, in the society of the fascinating 'Baronne de +Florval Delval,' as set forth in the pages of Mr. Titmarsh's 'Paris +Sketch-Book.' Mr. Titmarsh has probably contributed the pencilling of +the 'old _regime_' personage in the margin during the progress to the +capital. Travelling caps of every order were assumed for comfort +during the jolting on the road. + +Mr. Titmarsh had become a partial resident in Paris. He might have +been seen mastering the contents of the Louvre, the Beaux Arts, and +the Luxembourg; occasionally mounting an easel and copying a picture. + + [Illustration] + +Betweenwhiles he is, we may reasonably suppose, engaged on materials +similar to his 'Paris Sketch-Book,' or transferring the thrilling +thoughts of Beranger into verses which preserve the vitality of that +mighty songster. Here the young author and his fanciful double +evidently commenced their daily promenade--we may vainly sigh for the +pleasure of forming one of such a desirable party--but in spirit, +assisted by the sketches which mark his progress, it is just possible +to follow the humourist. 'Planta's Paris' is produced from his pocket +to receive rapid pencil jottings, slight but graphic, as the subjects +present themselves. + +First, the lolling _ouvrier_, common to Paris in all seasons and under +every government, slow and shuffling, a lounger through successive +_regimes_. + + [Illustration] + +We recognise the reign of the 'Citizen King' in the person of one of +his citizen soldiers, a worthy National Guard, hurrying from +commercial allurements to practise the military duties of a patriot. + +At another time Mr. Titmarsh may refresh his pictorial tastes by the +inspection of M. Phillipon's latest onslaught on 'the _poire_.' + +Here we confront M. Aubert's renowned collection of political cartoons +in the Galerie Veron-Dodat, the head-quarters of that irrepressible +army of caricaturists whose satiric shafts kept the stout Louis +Philippe in a quiver of irritation, until he swept away the liberty of +the press. + +Before us stands a stern dissentient from any expression assailing +the inviolability of the absolute Sovereign who cleverly misnamed +himself the 'King of the Barricades.' + + [Illustration: A Citizen Soldier] + + [Illustration: The Army] + +Here is a sketchy reminiscence of the _Jardin Bullier_, over the +water, close by the Barriere d'Enfer. We may imagine that this +recollection has been revived by some flaring _affiche_ posted on the +walls regarding a 'long night' and the admission of 'fancy costumes' +at that traditional retreat. + + [Illustration] + +We next get a peep into a _cabaret_, while still in pursuit of the +military train, and here the artist regales us with a spirited +realisation of 'Mars surrendering to Bacchus,' in a picture not +unworthy of Hogarth. These gentlemen are content to espouse the side +which offers the best chance of enjoyment--a phase not entirely +extinct in the French army, and one that has been relied on in recent +instances. + + [Illustration] + +These last drawings are executed with a pen, and cleverly shaded in +Indian ink. + +Showers, sharp though short, are frequent enough in Paris. Mr. Titmarsh, +in the shelter of a 'Passage'--possibly the 'Panoramas'--seizes the +opportunity of this enforced captivity to produce a flying sketch of +the damp world out of doors. + + [Illustration] + +Mr. Titmarsh has stepped for a moment into the shelter of a church, +for we here find a life-like picture of a priest bearing the Elements. + + [Illustration] + +The shower is over: the sun shines brighter than ever, and Mr. +Titmarsh is tempted to trudge over to the Luxembourg. After a few +practical criticisms on the paintings, he wanders into the quaint +gardens surrounding this palace of art. His active pencil finds +immediate employment on an ever-recurring group, wherever _bonnes_ +abound there may the soldiers be found. + + [Illustration] + +These little sketches are full of familiar life. + + [Illustration] + +The _barriere_ is passed, and Mr. Titmarsh takes a stroll in the +environs. His pencil preserves for our amusement this record of his +wanderings. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration] + +We may here allude to his kindly feeling for children, whose romps so +often employed his pen. Further down the shady groves the _coco_ +seller finds a customer in a _militaire_, whose tastes are simple, or +whose means do not compass a more ambitious beverage. + +Before he dines, Mr. Titmarsh returns to his lodgings (possibly the +very ones he occupied during the tragedy of Attwood's violent end, +described in the 'Gambler's Death'), to 'wash-in' a few _croquis_ in +Indian ink; and there, we may assume, he traces on a loose scrap of +paper the whimsical outline of 'An Eastern Traveller.' + + [Illustration: An Eastern Traveller] + +Anon Mr. Titmarsh plunges deeper into the art career; his aspirations +lead him to Rome; there, amidst galleries, artists, authors, models, +canvases, and easels, he pursues his lively though somewhat desultory +course. Who could be more at home in the head-quarters of the fine +arts? who more popular than this kind-hearted, keen-witted young +satirist? a universal favourite, treasuring, perhaps unconsciously, +every phase of the mixed life he met and led there. Again, as in +Paris, a pure Bohemian through inclination, and yet fond of fine +sights and society, with the _entree_ at his disposal to every circle, +refined or vagabond, of the communism of a republic of art and +letters. + + [Illustration: A Neapolitan 'Snob'] + + [Illustration: Southern Italy] + + [Illustration: A Water-carrier + Southern Italy + A Wayside Player + + ITALIAN SKETCHES] + +And Thackeray was no less at home in Belgium than he was in Germany, +in Paris, and in Rome. + + [Illustration: Guide Indispensable du Voyageur en Belgique] + + [Illustration: Germania] + + [Illustration: A Family Jaunt] + + [Illustration: On a Rhine Steamer] + + [Illustration: Mat de Coca] + + [Illustration: Roadside Sketches] + +His books carry us where we will at pleasure. We can dot about quaint +Flanders with O'Dowd, Dobbin, and the English army, on that famous +Waterloo campaign; we can elect as our travelling companion that +eminent dandy, Arthur Pendennis, Esq. We can follow Clive Newcome and +quiet J. J. to the 'Congress of Baden,' to Italy, and what not, or we +can linger with 'Philip' in Paris. We can follow Titmarsh through all +sorts of delightful journeyings; we are assured that promising young +genius was almost an institution in Paris. He has studied Belgium and +sojourned in Holland; in 1843 he will allow us to trot over to Ireland +in his company, for a pleasant little jaunt; in 1846 our 'Fat +Contributor' will suffer us to make one in a pilgrimage from Cornhill +to Cairo; in 1850 we may join the Kickleburys on the Rhine. As to Mr. +Roundabout, we may go with him where we list--to America, if we would +accept a few grateful souvenirs of the New World; to Scotland, where +our author's popularity was, if possible, even stronger; to +Switzerland, Italy, Germany, back to Belgium and Holland, and through +innumerable pleasant reminiscences of fair and quaint cities. + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Little Travels] + + [Illustration] + +Would you visit the chief sight of Ghent, who could better act as your +kindly guide, philosopher, and friend than Thackeray? for one of the +most delightfully fresh and picturesque descriptions of the Beguine +College or village at Ghent is due to the pen of Titmarsh. In +following his sketches of this miniature city of nuns, which every +worthy sightseer has visited in the early stage of his travels, the +whole place is set out before one with charms added, the old interest +is renewed, and we are trotting around the quiet shady courts, or are +again favoured with an interview by the superior in the +'show-parlour,' with its ledger for the names of all the Smiths in the +universe, while around are displayed the treasures of the convent. It +is not difficult to imagine Thackeray sitting down by the roadside, +rapidly making the sketches which we give in this chapter. + + [Illustration] + +In 1852 Thackeray paid his first visit to America. The generous +reception accorded him throughout the States is sufficiently +notorious. Mr. W. B. Reed, who enjoyed in Philadelphia the intimacy of +the great novelist, has recorded how deeply sympathetic was the +feeling of our transatlantic cousins for this sterling example of a +thorough and honest English gentleman. Among other tender +remembrances of the kindly humourist, he writes, hinting with delicate +reserve at 'domestic sorrows and anxieties too sacred to be paraded +before the world':-- + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: A Wayside Sketcher] + + [Illustration: A School Fight] + +'In our return journey to Philadelphia, Thackeray referred to a friend +whose wife had been deranged for many years, hopelessly so; and never +shall I forget the look, and manner, and voice with which he said to +me, "It is an awful thing for her to continue so to live. It is an +awful thing for her so to die. But has it never occurred to you, how +awful a thing the recovery of lost reason must be without the +consciousness of the lapse of time? She finds the lover of her youth a +grey-haired old man, and her infants young men and women. Is it not +sad to think of this?" As he talked to me thus, I thought of those +oft-quoted lines of tenderness-- + + Ah me! how quick the days are flitting; + I mind me of a time that's gone, + When here I'd sit, as now I'm sitting, + In this same place, but not alone. + A fair young form was nestled near me, + A dear, dear face looked fondly up, + And sweetly spoke and tried to cheer me-- + There's no one now to share my cup! + + [Illustration] + +'Thackeray left us (the Philadelphians) in the winter of 1853, and in +the summer of the year was on the Continent with his daughters. In the +last chapter of the "Newcomes," published in 1855, he says: "Two years +ago, walking with my children in some pleasant fields near to Berne, +in Switzerland, I strayed from them into a little wood; and, coming +out of it, presently told them how the story had been revealed to me +somehow, which, for three-and-twenty months, the reader has been +pleased to follow." It was on this Swiss tour that he wrote me a +kindly characteristic letter. On the back of this note is a +pen-and-ink caricature, of which he was not conscious when he began to +write, as on turning his paper over he alludes to "the rubbishing +picture which he didn't see." The sketch is very spirited, and is +evidently the original of one of his illustrations to his grotesque +fairy tale of the "Rose and the Ring," written (so he told a member of +my family years afterwards) while he was watching and nursing his +children, who were ill during this vacation ramble.' + + [Illustration] + +The last journey chronicled by Thackeray was a merry little +'Roundabout' trip over the old Netherlands ground, in which he +indulged, without preparation, when overworked and suffering from the +anxieties of editing the 'Cornhill Magazine;' the journal is filled in +with the zest of a stolen excursion, and the writer mentions that +no one knew where he had gone; that there was only one chance of a +letter finding him to curtail the freedom he had snatched, and he goes +to the post, and there, sure enough, is that summons back to the +'thorny cushion,' which abruptly cuts short the last recorded holiday +jaunt of Thackeray's life. In this last little jaunt through Holland, +the impressions of the author were as fresh and full of pleasant +observation as in those wayside sketches noted years before. + + [Illustration: A Centurion] + + [Illustration: Swiss Kine] + + [Illustration: On the Road] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Dolce far niente] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Unruly Travellers] + + [Illustration: Dutch Pictures] + + [Illustration] + + [Illustration: Off to Market] + + [Illustration: Dutch Pictures] + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + Commencement of the 'Cornhill Magazine' -- 'Roundabout Papers' -- + 'Lovel the Widower' -- The 'Adventures of Philip on his Way + through the World' -- Lectures on the 'Four Georges' -- Editorial + Penalties -- The 'Thorn in the Cushion' -- Harass from + disappointed Contributors -- Vexatious Correspondents -- + Withdrawal from the arduous post of Editor -- Building of + Thackeray's House in Kensington Palace Gardens -- Christmas 1863 + -- Death of the great Novelist -- The unfinished Work -- + Circumstances of the Author's last Illness -- His death. + + + [Illustration] + +The great event of the last few years of Thackeray's life was the +starting of the 'Cornhill Magazine,' the first number of which, with +the date of January 1860, appeared shortly before Christmas in the +previous year. The great success which Charles Dickens had met with in +conducting his weekly periodical perhaps first suggested the project +of this new monthly magazine, with Thackeray for editor. But few +expected a design so bold and original as they found developed by the +appearance of Number 1. The contents were by contributors of +first-rate excellence; the quantity of matter in each was equal to +that given by the old-established magazines published at half-a-crown, +while the price of the 'Cornhill,' as everyone knows, was only a +shilling. The editor's ideas on the subject of the new periodical were +explained by him some weeks before the commencement in a +characteristic letter to his friend, G. H. Lewes, which was afterwards +adopted as the vehicle of announcing the design to the public. + +The first number contained the commencement of that series of +'Roundabout Papers' in which we get so many interesting glimpses of +Thackeray's personal history and feelings, and also the opening +chapters of his story of 'Lovel the Widower.' The latter was +originally written in the form of a comedy, entitled 'the Wolf and the +Lamb,' which was intended to be performed during the management of +Wigan at the Olympic Theatre, but was finally declined by the latter. +Thackeray, we believe, acquiesced in the unfavourable judgment of the +practical manager upon the acting qualities of his comedy, and +resolved to throw it into narrative form, in the story with which his +readers are now familiar. This was not the first instance of his +writing for the stage. If we are not mistaken, the libretto of John +Barnett's popular opera of the 'Mountain Sylph,' produced nearly forty +years since, was from his pen. In the 'Cornhill' also appeared his +story of 'Philip on his Way through the World.' The scenes in this are +said to have been founded in great part upon his own experiences; and +there can be no doubt that the adventures of Philip Firmin represent, +in many respects, those of the Charterhouse boy who afterwards became +known to the world as the author of 'Vanity Fair.' But in all such +matters it is to be remembered that the writer of fiction feels +himself at liberty to deviate from the facts of his life in any way +which he finds necessary for the development of his story. Certainly +the odious stepfather of Philip must not be taken for Thackeray's +portrait of his own stepfather, towards whom he always entertained +feelings of respect and affection. + + [Illustration] + +We may also remind our readers that the 'Lectures on the Four Georges' +first appeared in print in the 'Cornhill.' The sales reached by the +earlier numbers were enormous, and far beyond anything ever attained +by a monthly magazine; even after the usual subsidence which follows +the flush of a great success, the circulation had, we believe, settled +at a point far exceeding the most sanguine hopes of the projectors. + +These fortunate results of the undertaking were, however, not without +serious drawbacks. The editor soon discovered that his new position +was in many respects an unenviable one. Friends and acquaintances, not +to speak of constant readers and 'regular subscribers to your +interesting magazine,' sent him bushels of manuscripts, amongst which +it was rare indeed to find one that could be accepted. Sensitive poets +and poetesses took umbrage at refusals, however kindly and delicately +expressed. 'How can I go into society with comfort?' asked the editor +of a friend at this time. 'I dined the other day at ----'s, and at the +table were four gentlemen whose masterpieces of literary art I had +been compelled to decline with thanks.' Not six months had elapsed +before he began to complain of 'thorns' in the editorial cushion. One +lady wrote to entreat that her article might be inserted, on the +ground that she had known better days, and had a sick and widowed +mother to maintain; others began with fine phrases about the merits +and eminent genius of the person they were addressing. Some found +fault with articles, and abused contributor and editor. An Irishman +threatened proceedings for an implied libel in 'Lovel the Widower' +upon ballet-dancers, whom he declared to be superior to the snarlings +of dyspeptic libellers, or the spiteful attacks and _brutum fulmen_ of +ephemeral authors. This gentleman also informed the editor that +theatrical managers were in the habit of speaking good English, +possibly better than ephemeral authors. + +It was chiefly owing to these causes that Thackeray finally determined +to withdraw from the editorship of the magazine, though continuing to +contribute to it and take an interest in its progress. In an amusing +address to contributors and correspondents, dated March 18, 1862, he +made known this determination; and in the same address he announced +that, while the tale of 'Philip' had been passing through the press, +he had been preparing another, on which he had worked at intervals for +many years past, and which he hoped to introduce in the following +year. + + [Illustration: Falling foul of the Skirts] + +In a pecuniary sense the 'Cornhill Magazine' had undoubtedly proved a +fortunate venture for its editor. It was during his editorship that he +removed from his house, No. 36 Onslow Square, in which he had resided +for some years, to the more congenial neighbourhood of the Palace at +Kensington, that 'Old Court Suburb' which Leigh Hunt has gossiped +about so pleasantly. Thackeray took upon a long lease a somewhat +dilapidated mansion, on the west side of Kensington Palace Gardens. +His intention was to repair and improve it, but he finally resolved to +pull it down and build another in its stead. The new house, a +handsome, solid mansion of choice red brick with stone facings, was +built from a design drawn by himself; and in this house he continued +to reside till the time of his death. 'It was,' says Hannay, 'a +dwelling worthy of one who really represented literature in the great +world, and who, planting himself on his books, yet sustained the +character of his profession with all the dignity of a gentleman. A +friend who called on him there from Edinburgh, in the summer of 1862, +knowing of old his love of the Venusian, playfully reminded him of +what Horace says of those who, regardless of their sepulchre, employ +themselves in building houses: + + Sepulchri + Immemor struis domos. + +"Nay," said he, "I am _memor sepulchri_, for this house will always +let for so many hundreds (mentioning the sum) a year."' We may add +that Thackeray was always of opinion that, notwithstanding the +somewhat costly proceeding of pulling down and re-erecting, he had +achieved the rare result, for a private gentleman, of building for +himself a house which, regarded as an investment of a portion of his +fortune, left no cause for regret. + +Our narrative draws to a close. The announcement of the death of +Thackeray, coming so suddenly upon us in the very midst of our great +Christian festival of 1863, caused a shock which will be long +remembered. His hand had been missed in the last two numbers of the +'Cornhill Magazine,' but only because he had been engaged in laying +the foundation of another of those continuous works of fiction which +his readers so eagerly expected. In the then current number of the +'Cornhill Magazine' the customary orange-coloured fly-leaf had +announced that 'a new serial story' by him would be commenced early in +the new year; but the promise had scarcely gone abroad when we learnt +that the hand which had penned its opening chapters, in the full +prospect of a happy ending, could never again add line or word to that +long range of writings which must always remain one of the best +evidences of the strength and beauty of our English speech. + +On the Tuesday preceding he had followed to the grave his relative, +Lady Rodd, widow of Vice-Admiral Sir John Tremayne Rodd, K.C.B., who +was the daughter of Major James Rennell, F.R.S., Surveyor-General of +Bengal, by the daughter of the Rev. Dr. Thackeray, Head Master of +Harrow School. Only the day before this, according to a newspaper +account, he had been congratulating himself on having finished four +numbers of a new novel; he had the manuscript in his pocket, and with +a boyish frankness showed the last pages to a friend, asking him to +read them and see what he could make of them. When he had completed +four numbers more he said he would subject himself to the skill of a +very clever surgeon, and be no more an invalid. Only two days before +he had been seen at his club in high spirits; but with all his high +spirits, he did not seem well; he complained of illness; but he was +often ill, and he laughed off his present attack. He said that he was +about to undergo some treatment which would work a perfect cure in his +system, and so he made light of his malady. He was suffering from two +distinct complaints, one of which had now wrought his death. More than +a dozen years before, while he was writing 'Pendennis,' the +publication of that work was stopped by his serious illness. He was +brought to death's door, and he was saved from death by Dr. Elliotson, +to whom, in gratitude, he dedicated the novel when he lived to finish +it. But ever since that ailment he had been subject every month or six +weeks to attacks of sickness, attended with violent retching. He was +congratulating himself, just before his death, on the failure of his +old enemy to return, and then he checked himself, as if he ought not +to be too sure of a release from his plague. On the morning of +Wednesday, December 23, the complaint returned, and he was in great +suffering all day. He was no, better in the evening, and his valet, +Charles Sargent, left him at eleven o'clock on Wednesday night, +Thackeray wishing him 'Good night' as he went out of the room. At nine +o'clock on the following morning the valet, entering his master's +chamber as usual, found him lying on his back quite still, with his +arms spread over the coverlet; but he took no notice, as he was +accustomed to see his master thus after one of his severe attacks. He +brought some coffee and set it down beside the bed; and it was only +when he returned after an interval, and found that the cup had not +been tasted, that a sudden alarm seized him, and he discovered that +his master was dead. About midnight Thackeray's mother, who slept +overhead, had heard him get up and walk about the room; but she was +not alarmed, as this was a habit of her son when unwell. It is +supposed that he had, in fact, been seized at this time, and that the +violence of the attack had brought on the effusion on the brain which, +as the _post-mortem_ examination showed, was the immediate cause of +death. His medical attendants attributed his death to effusion on the +brain, and added that he had a very large brain, weighing no less than +581/2 oz. + +Thus, in the full maturity of his powers, died William Makepeace +Thackeray, one of the closest observers of human nature, the most +kindly of English humourists; and his death has left a blank in our +literature, which we, in the present generation at least, are offered +no prospect of seeing filled up. To quote once more his friend +Hannay's words: 'It is long since England has lost such a son; it will +be long before she has such another to lose. He was indeed +emphatically English--English as distinct from Scotch, no less than +English as distinct from Continental. The highest, purest English +novelist since Fielding, he combined Addison's love of virtue, with +Johnson's hatred of cant; Horace Walpole's lynx eye for the mean and +ridiculous, with the gentleness and wide charity for mankind, as a +whole, of Goldsmith. _Non omnis mortuus est._ He will be remembered in +his succession with these men for ages to come, as long as the hymn of +praise rises in the old Abbey of Westminster, and wherever the English +tongue is native to men, from the banks of the Ganges to those of the +Mississippi.' + + [Illustration] + + + LONDON: PRINTED BY + SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE + AND PARLIAMENT STREET + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Thackerayana, by William Makepeace Thackeray + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THACKERAYANA *** + +***** This file should be named 44563.txt or 44563.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/5/6/44563/ + +Produced by Melissa McDaniel and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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