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@@ -1,27 +1,4 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: Swatty
- A Story of Real Boys
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44154]
-Last Updated: March 11, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SWATTY ***
-
-
-
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44154 ***
Produced by David Widger
@@ -8083,358 +8060,4 @@ THE END
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
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+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44154 ***
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: Swatty
- A Story of Real Boys
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44154]
-Last Updated: March 11, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SWATTY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-
-SWATTY
-
-A Story of Real Boys
-
-By Ellis Parker Butler
-
-With Illustrations
-
-HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
-
-1920
-
-TO FRED ERNST SCHMIDT
-
-OF MUSCATINE, IOWA THE FAITHFUL COMPANION OF MY BOYHOOD THIS BOOK IS
-MOST GRATEFULLY INSCRIBED
-
-
-
-
-
-SWATTY
-
-A STORY OF REAL BOYS
-
-
-
-
-I. THE BIG RIVER
-
-I guess if teachers always knew how lickings were going to turn out they
-wouldn't lick us fellows so much. I am thinking about Miss Murphy, the
-one that taught the room me and Swatty and Bony was in, and about the
-time she was going to lick Swatty. One of the times. There were plenty
-of others.
-
-You see, me and Swatty and Bony is chums, and we go together mostly,
-but this was when we was in Miss Murphy's room. She's a good-looker, but
-she's a tartar, too, when it comes to licking.
-
-The way of it was this: My sister Fan was mushy over Swatty's brother
-Herb and she didn't care who knew it, because they were engaged, and Fan
-was fixing up her things to get married in, and she wished I was a girl
-so I could be her flower girl at the wedding, but she didn't know what
-she'd do with me. She thought maybe she'd lock me in the cellar, she
-said, but she didn't mean it. She was always codding me and Swatty.
-She'd cod us that way, and then she'd give us a dime or something. She
-was all right, and Swatty thought so too.
-
-So then Fan and Herb had a fight, like girls and fellows always do have;
-but this was a good one. It was because Herb said maybe Fan would like
-to have Miss Murphy for a bridesmaid, and Fan got mad because Herb had
-gone with Miss Murphy once. So then Fan wouldn't forgive Herb. Herb came
-over and fought for three evenings, and then Swatty brought a note from
-him to Fan, and I took one from Fan to Herb, and that was the end of it.
-The note I took had a ring in it, because I could feel it. Then Fan just
-moped around the house and cried some, and after a while Herb had to go
-and teach the eighth grade at school, because Professor Martin broke
-his leg on the ice the janitor ought to have scraped off the steps but
-didn't. So right away Herb began to get thick with Miss Murphy, but that
-didn't make any difference to me. As soon as a fellow hasn't got one
-girl he has another one, anyway, and I didn't blame Herb. I was
-just sorry for Fan. And I thought Herb was crazy to make up to a
-school-teacher, especially a tartar like Miss Murphy. She was an awful
-licker. She'd lick a fellow for anything.
-
-Well, one day me and Swatty was going to school and we was talking at
-each other the way we always did, and I said he thought he was great,
-didn't he, because his brother was Miss Murphy's beau, and Miss Muiphy
-wouldn't lick him when his brother was her beau. I didn't mean anything,
-I just said it, but Swatty hauled off and hit me one and dared me to
-say that again. So I said it again, and all the fellows got around and
-yelled “Fight! Fight!” and I had to fight him. It would have been a
-pretty good fight if Miss Murphy hadn't come along. She jumped right at
-us and grabbed us both.
-
-“Who started this fight?” she asked, hopping mad.
-
-“He did,” I said.
-
-“Didn't neither!” said Swatty. “He did.”
-
-“Who struck the first blow?” says Miss Muiphy.
-
-Well, everybody told her Swatty did, which was the truth, and she let me
-go.
-
-“Just as I thought, you--you little bulldozer,” she said, shaking him.
-“You've been getting entirely too uppish of late, young man. You think
-you can take advantage of--of circumstances; but I'll teach you a thing
-or two. Get into school there, and wash yourself, and see that you are
-in your seat when the bell rings.”
-
-So Swatty did it. Me and the Bony Highlander stayed out till the bell
-rung, and then we went in, too, and as we went past Swatty's desk he
-whispered, “She thinks she's going to lick me, but she ain't.”
-
-“Bet she does, if she said so,” I says; and I bet she would, too. So did
-the Bony Highlander, because we knew she was the sort that would rather
-lick a fellow than not.
-
-Well, that was in the morning, and they never lick at noon because the
-way some fellows wriggle and twist it takes a long time to lick them,
-and it would use up the noon hour. So they lick after school in the
-afternoon when there is plenty of time. So me and the Bony Highlander
-waited for Swatty, and we tried to scare him. We told him we bet Miss
-Murphy would make him holler, because she licked with a rawhide pony
-switch and whipped on the legs where the switch would wrap around and
-sting, but we couldn't get Swatty to even pretend he might holler. He
-said no teacher in the world could make him holler. We all said it. Or,
-I don't know whether the Bony Highlander said it or not. He'd never been
-licked in school. He wasn't the kind that gets licked, somehow. But he
-was a pretty nice fellow, anyway. We liked him just as well, but not as
-well as Swatty and me liked each other of course, because me and Swatty
-was cow-cousins.
-
-Me and Swatty was both raised on the milk of the same cow, but it was
-Schwartzes' cow, and when I was being raised on it Herb Schwartz used to
-fetch the milk around, the way Swatty does now. I guess that's how Herb
-got to know Fan. But the Bony Highlander was just a kid that moved into
-the neighborhood.
-
-His name wasn't really Bony Highlander, but we called him that because
-when he was reading a piece of poetry out of the Reader in school, and
-ought to have said “bonny Highlander,” he said “bony Highlander.” But
-we mostly called him Bony for short, like we called Schwartzy Swatty for
-short. He was all right, but he never started to do things; he just
-went along when we did them, and waited on the outside of the fence, and
-things like that.
-
-Well, we waited on the corner for Swatty that afternoon until the bell
-rung but he didn't come, so we went along, and he was at school already,
-and after he had stayed in to be licked and Miss Murphy let him out, he
-told us why he went early. He knew where she kept her rawhide, in the
-closet at the end of the room on the shelf where the chalk boxes were,
-and he went early at noon and took his pocket-knife and cut the rawhide
-into little pieces about an inch long. He laid them all out on the shelf
-in a row, and he said he nearly died laughing when she went to pick it
-up and it was all in pieces. So Miss Murphy went to get another rawhide
-from another teacher, but everybody had gone home, and she told Swatty
-she would tend to him to-morrow.
-
-“I'd rather have been licked to-day and then I'd be done with it,” I
-said, but Swatty didn't say so.
-
-“If you've got a licking,” he said, “you've got it, and you can't ever
-un-get it, but I ain't ever going to get this one. I'll run away first.”
-
-“Ah, I bet you get it to-morrow,” I said, and the Bony Highlander said
-so too.
-
-“Bet I don't!” said Swatty. So we made a bet. I bet him my clay pipe
-against a nigger-shooter rubber he had.
-
-So the next day was when we'd know, and at noon Swatty came over to my
-barn to get some oilcloth we had in the barn to put in his pants so the
-licking wouldn't hurt so much, and I guessed I would win the bet. But he
-couldn't fix the oilcloth so it would do any good and let him sit down.
-He thought Miss Murphy would be onto it if he couldn't sit down. So he
-gave that up. So we went to school.
-
-When school was nearly out Swatty got up and started to walk down his
-aisle and up the next, like he was going out for a drink, but Miss
-Murphy, who was doing an example on the blackboard for the B class,
-turned around and saw him.
-
-“Where are you going?” she asked, like tacks in a bottle.
-
-“Just to get a drink,” said Swatty.
-
-“You take your seat this instant!” said Miss Murphy, and when she said
-it, Swatty started to run; but she got there first and headed him off
-and grabbed him by the arm. He kicked at her shins, but she gave him
-a shake that made him see stars and marched him back to the end of the
-room. I thought she was going to take him to his seat, but she didn't.
-
-Our schoolhouse has four rooms on a floor--two in front and two in
-back--and the hall comes in the middle, but it don't run all the way
-from front to back. In the middle in front on the second floor there is
-a little room with some books in it, and they call it the library room.
-
-It has a window and three doors--one into the hall and one into our
-room, and one into the room across the hall. So Miss Murphy yanked
-Swatty into that room and locked all three doors. So she had him safe
-until she got ready to lick him. Then she was going to unlock the door
-and bring him out and do a good job, because she had a new rawhide all
-ready. I guess she made up her mind she'd lick him until he hollered
-that time.
-
-So Swatty waited until school was out. Then he had to wait until Miss
-Murphy got rid of the ones she had kept in to write their names five
-hundred times, and things like that, but he didn't wait. He opened the
-window and looked out, and right below him was the peak roof of the
-porch. It wasn't very big, and it was slated, and if he slipped he'd
-be a goner and break a leg or something, but he got onto the window
-sill and hung down with his hands on the sill, and dropped. He dropped
-straddle of the roof and hung on the best way he could.
-
-He said the only thing he thought about was what a fool he had been not
-to shut the window, but it was J une and most of the windows were wide
-open anyway, and I guess Miss Murphy didn't notice. She unlocked the
-door and looked into the room and Swatty wasn't there. Then I guess she
-thought maybe somebody had come to the library room for a book and had
-let Swatty out. She never put her head out of the window at all. So she
-was beaten that time, and she went home.
-
-So Swatty waited until the janitor had swept all the rooms and started
-to sweep the walk and he hollered to him. It is none of the janitor's
-business who gets licked or who don't, so he came up to the room and
-helped Swatty get in the window. He just laughed about it.
-
-So the next day Swatty went to school just the same as always, but at
-noon he came over to my barn and Bony came with him. They generally came
-because I had to feed my rabbits at noon. This time Swatty sort of poked
-at the sawdust that was the floor of our barn and didn't say much. He
-most generally wore his hat on the back of his head, but this time he
-had it pulled down over his eyes and that was the way he did when he was
-getting ready to fight a fellow.
-
-After a while he looked up.
-
-“Are you fellows going to school this afternoon?” he asked.
-
-“Yes,” I said. “Ain't you?”
-
-“Go and get licked? I guess not!” he said. “I'm going down to the
-river.”
-
-“What are you going to do down at the river?” Bony asked.
-
-“Going to look at it; what you think I'm going to do?” said Swatty.
-
-Well, looking at it wasn't a bad thing to do, because the river was
-away up, and when the Mississippi is up it is worth looking at. It looks
-twice as big and sort of rounded up in the middle, and all sorts of
-things floating down it--dead trees, and boxes, and logs, and dead pigs,
-and sometimes sheds and things. It generally gets up in June, and we
-always go down on Saturdays to see how she's getting along.
-
-“She's higher than she ever was,” said Swatty.
-
-“Well, I guess she'll be mighty high by Saturday,” said Bony.
-
-“No, she won't,” said Swatty, “because she's going to begin falling
-to-day, the paper says. Why don't you come along down with me?”
-
-“Yes, and get licked for staying out of school!” I said.
-
-“All right for you fellows, then!” said Swatty. “I'll be mad at you for
-good. If you were going to get licked I'd just _want_ to do something
-so I could get licked too. Don't I always stick by you fellows? And when
-I'm going to get licked you go back on me. You're 'fraid-cats.”
-
-“Who's a 'fraid-cat?” I asked, for I don't let anybody call me that.
-
-“You are!” said Swatty. “And so's Bony. You're afraid to stay out of
-school one afternoon. You're afraid to stay out the day the river hits
-high-water mark. You'll look nice, won't you, with just you and Bony and
-a lot of girls in school!”
-
-“Who said we'd be the only kids there?” I asked.
-
-“Who said it? Why, I said it. You don't think any kids will go to school
-this afternoon, do you? Everybody will be down at the levee--men and
-everybody. If the river don't drop this afternoon she'll go over the
-island levee. And you sit around in school like it was a common day!
-Why, it's like--like election, or Fourth of July, or something like
-that! It's worse than when the ice goes out.”
-
-Well, I never knew a boy to get licked for staying out of school when
-the ice was going out of the river. He gets kept in the next day, or
-something, but nobody can blame a boy for wanting to see the ice go out,
-not even a teacher. So I guessed I'd go with Swatty, if I could sneak
-it. Bony didn't want to go much, but he didn't like both of us to call
-him a 'fraid-cat, so he came. We climbed out of my barn window, because
-Swatty said we'd have to be careful; but I guess it wasn't much use,
-because if we had gone out of the back gate it would have done just as
-well, and if we had gone out of the front gate nobody would have thought
-anything but that we were going to school. We kept in the alley all the
-way down to Indian Creek, and Indian Creek was worth seeing, I tell you.
-
-Mostly there is nothing in it but a little bit of water twisting along
-in the wet sand, away down in the bottom of the creek bed, but now the
-creek was full right up to the top, and there were rowboats moored in
-it. We played in the rowboats a while, until a man came and chased us
-away, and then we went down along the creek to the river. I tell you,
-she was some river!
-
-She went rushing along, all big and muddy and foamy, and she was half
-covered with floating stuff--bark and whole haystacks and old trees and
-boards and boxes and things. It scared a fellow just to look at her. It
-made me feel the way a little baby feels when a big twelve-wheel mogul
-engine comes roaring up to the depot platform, only ten times as scary.
-It was like a whole ocean starting out to rush away somewhere. We just
-stood and looked at it, and pretty soon Swatty says, “Gosh!” Only he
-always says “Garsh!” And I said, “Gee!” That was all we said, and Bony
-didn't say anything. He just stepped backward three or four steps and
-looked frightened. That's the way you always feel when you see the old
-Mississippi on a rampage. You feel as if you ought to do something to
-stop it, and you know you can't--that nobody can. When it gets going it
-is going to keep right on. So we went down to the levee.
-
-Well, there wasn't any levee! Our levee is just a long down-hill of
-sand, and it wasn't there. The river had backed clean up to the railroad
-tracks and was sploshing against the second rail of the outside track,
-and at the down-river end of the levee it had gone under the tracks
-and was all over Front Street at the corner. The ferry dock, that was
-usually away down at the bottom of the levee, was tied right up close
-to the railroad track, and the ferry was tied in behind the steamboat
-warehouse, so she wouldn't wash away. The water was clean up over the
-floor of the steamboat warehouse, too, and nothing looked the way it
-used to look. It was worth forty lickings just to see how different
-everything was. We just stood and looked and couldn't believe it.
-
-“Come on,” said Swatty, all at once, “let's have some fun. Let's take
-off our shoes and stockings and have some fun.”
-
-We went across the street and asked a man if we could leave our shoes
-and stockings in his store, and he said we could, and then we went back
-and began to wade where the water wasn't very deep. There were a few
-other boys there, wading, and a lot of men standing around, looking at
-the water. Some would come down and look a while and then go away again,
-and all at once Swatty said, “Garsh! What if our fathers came down
-here!”
-
-So we got away from there, quick. We went down below the steamboat
-warehouse, where the ferryboat was tied, because nobody was apt to come
-down there, and nobody did. We played on the ferryboat a while and then
-we got off her, and Swatty saw where somebody had fastened a lot of logs
-and bridge timbers to the railway track. I guess they were stuff some
-men had gone out in skiffs to catch as they floated by, before the river
-got so rampageous. The way they fastened them was to drive a spike
-in one end and tie a rope to that, and then tie the other end to the
-railway track. So Swatty said, “Come on! Let's have some fun with these
-logs and bridge timbers,” or something like that; so we did. We walked
-on them, and some of them would sink under us, and then we would jump to
-another.
-
-Well, there below the steamboat warehouse the water made an eddy, and
-the bark and foam and some sticks kept going around and around in the
-eddy, and pretty soon Swatty said: “Let's ride on these logs,” and that
-was all right, too, because we could sit straddle of a log or a bridge
-timber and paddle with our feet. So we did that. Swatty cut three of
-them loose, and we each took a bridge timber, because they didn't turn
-over like the logs did, and we paddled around in the eddy and played
-we were steamboats. I was the “War Eagle,” and Swatty was the “Mary
-Morton,” and Bony was the “Centennial.” We played that a long time and
-then we took boards for paddles, and we could go better that way so we
-played Indians in canoes, and I got on Swatty's timber and let mine go,
-which was all right because the timbers would just go around and around
-in the eddy. But Bony wouldn't get on with us, because he was afraid the
-timber would sink.
-
-It got along to about five o'clock, and Bony said we had better go home.
-He was always the first to want to go home. He told Swatty that Swatty
-would be late going for his cow if he didn't start right away, but
-Swatty said he didn't care if the old cow never got home. He said it
-wouldn't hurt the old cow to wait a while, anyway. So we started to
-paddle around the eddy again, and that time we got almost too far out,
-I guess, and the end of the timber stuck out beyond the eddy into the
-swift water.
-
-“Back her up! Quick!” Swatty yelled, and we both tried to back her with
-our board paddles, but it was too late. The swift water caught her on
-the side and swung her right out into the current. Gee, but she went!
-Right away she was half a block away from Bony and I began to cry, for
-there was no telling where she'd stop. You couldn't expect her to stop
-this side of St. Louis or New Orleans. So I began to cry, and I stooped
-down and hung onto the timber with both arms. It was all I could think
-of to do. But Swatty let on he wasn't scared at all. He tried to paddle
-toward shore, but there was so v much driftwood and stuff floating that
-he couldn't do it.
-
-“Aw, shut up! Don't be a cry-baby!” he yelled at me. “This ain't
-nothing. Grab your paddle, and we'll paddle out to the Tow Head and
-we'll be all right.”
-
-The Tow Head is the big island in the river below town, but more to this
-side of the river than to the other side. It is shaped like a horseshoe,
-with the two ends down-stream. Me and Swatty knew it pretty well because
-sometimes we used to row down there. It was all trees except a strip of
-sand on each side, and in low water there used to be a sandbar below it.
-It looked like a good idea to get to the Tow Head if we could; but I was
-afraid to sit up so I just stayed the way I was. But Swatty paddled like
-a good fellow. I guess the current helped him some. In low water there
-are two channels, one on each side of the Tow Head, but when the river
-is on a rampage it don't care anything about channels--it just goes. But
-it kind of bends below town and I guess that helped Swatty.
-
-He kept yelling at me not to be a 'fraid-cat and to paddle, but I didn't
-dare. So he paddled, and pretty soon I saw he was going to hit the Tow
-Head all right. That made me feel better and I kind of raised up on
-my hands and stopped crying, but when I looked I was scared worse than
-ever. It looked as if the Tow Head was coming up-stream like a big
-packet at full tilt. It didn't look as if we were floating down to
-it, but as if it was tearing up-stream toward us, and it was coming
-lickety-split. At its nose, where the water hit it, the river reared up
-in a big yellow wave, like the bow wave of a ship, and was cut into foam
-and spray where it hit the trees and then rushed away on either side
-like mad. So I saw Swatty had made a mistake in trying to land on the
-Tow Head.
-
-There wasn't really any Tow Head to land on. The river was way up in
-the branches of the trees, and I guess the water was ten feet deep all
-over the Tow Head, or deeper, and rushing through the trees like it was
-crazy. But we didn't have time to think much about it. We just had time
-to be scared, and to see the old Tow Head come rushing and foaming at
-us, and then it sort of nabbed us, like a cat nabs a mouse. It was all a
-big swosh of water noises and a big swosh of tree branches being slashed
-by the water, and then me and Swatty was splashed all over, and the
-bridge timber banged into two trees and stuck. Swatty went off the
-timber like a stone out of a nigger-shooter, but I hung on. I've got
-a black and blue spot inside my leg yet, where it hit the edge of the
-timber. Right away the water began to surge over the timber like a giant
-pushing against me, and I saw I couldn't hang on there very long, so I
-reached up and grabbed a branch of one of the trees and hoisted myself
-up and got up in the tree. And there was Swatty! He wasn't in my tree,
-but he was in the tree next below mine.
-
-“Garsh!” he said, and that was all he said right then. So I began to
-cry. It would make anybody cry to be there, up in a tree, with the whole
-Mississippi River rushing along under him, so near he could stick his
-toes down into it. It's an awful thing to think about. You can sit in a
-tree and look at a creek run under you and you don't care, but when the
-Mississippi is on a tear it is different. It's the biggest and strongest
-thing in the world, and there was all of it rushing along right under
-us, and the tree sort of waving back and forth.
-
-So I cried.
-
-“Aw, shut up!” Swatty said. “What are you crying about?”
-
-Well, I guess we were in a pretty bad fix--worse than we thought we
-were. No boat there ever was could get at us where we were. No boat
-could come at that Tow Head the way we did and last a minute, because
-it would smash against the trees. And even if anybody knew where we were
-they couldn't get to us. Even if the strongest men in town tried to
-row a boat up-stream from below the Tow Head they couldn't get to us,
-because they couldn't row among the trees on it. So I cried.
-
-“Shut up!” Swatty yelled at me. “Ain't it bad enough without you
-bellering?”
-
-So there we were.
-
-When Bony saw us go out into the river he sat on his timber with his
-mouth open, and he couldn't even holler--he was so scared--and then he
-just paddled for shore and jumped off his timber and ran. He didn't know
-where he was running--he was just running away from there. He was scared
-stiff. When he come to, he was halfway home, and blubbering and panting,
-and then he sat down on a horse block and didn't know what to do. He
-thought we were drowned, sure. So he thought the best thing to do would
-be to not say anything about it. He was afraid. First he thought he
-would go home and act as if he had been at school and just stayed out
-playing a while, and not do anything else about it and let folks find
-out anyway they could; and then he thought that Mrs. Schwartz would miss
-Swatty when it was time to fetch the cow, and that she would come over
-to his house to see if Swatty was there, and he didn't know what else.
-So he thought he would go over to Swatty's house first and sort of keep
-Mrs. Schwartz from doing anything like that. So he went. He forgot he
-was in his bare feet, or that he had ever had shoes and stockings.
-
-When he got to Swatty's house Mrs. Schwartz was on the front terrace
-in her calico dress and with a birch switch in her hand, looking for
-Swatty, because Swatty knew what time the cow ought to be fetched home.
-Bony went up to the steps.
-
-“Do you want me to fetch the cow home, Mrs. Schwartz?” he asked.
-
-“What for should you fetch the cow home?” said Mrs. Schwartz, as angry
-as could be.
-
-“I thought maybe Swatty was late, and I didn't want to keep you
-waiting,” he said.
-
-“For why should you think he was late?” Mrs. Schwartz asked. She always
-talked in a funny way, because she was German.
-
-“I thought maybe he was playing down at the river,” said Bony. “Lots of
-boys were playing down there to-day.”
-
-“So!” said Mrs. Schwartz. “And he sends you home to get his cow, yes? He
-could get his own cows. I wait for him.”
-
-So then Bony didn't know what to say. He stood around. And after a while
-he said:
-
-“Maybe he won't come home to get the cows.”
-
-“What do you mean?” asked Mrs. Schwartz. “Maybe he's drowned,” said
-Bony. “Maybe him and Georgie went down to the river and--and--”
-
-So then _he_ began to cry, and the first thing anybody knew he had me
-and Swatty drowned and our bodies floating down to St. Louis or New
-Orleans, and Mrs. Schwartz wringing her hands and hollering for Herb. So
-Herb come out on the porch, and Bony told him me and Swatty had floated
-away on a bridge timber and got drowned, and Herb got Mr. Schwartz out
-of the house, and then he come over to my house to tell my father,
-and my father and mother and Fan and all the Schwartzes and a lot
-of neighbors all went running down to the levee, and took the Bony
-Highlander with them to show them where we had got drowned from. So that
-was why Bony didn't go home, and why he got licked when he did get home.
-
-By that time it wasn't dark but it was getting dark. Me and Swatty just
-hung onto our trees, and that was all we could do; but all our folks and
-most everybody in town got down to the levee, because Tim Mulligan at
-the waterworks pump-house blew the alarm whistle. The firemen all came,
-too, with their hose carts and ladder trucks, but most of the folks just
-went around saying it was too bad, but that it was hopeless. Even the
-mayor said it was hopeless. You see, nobody knew we were on Tow Head.
-They thought we were drowned in the river, like Bony said. So there
-wasn't anything to do, because it was too hopeless to do anything. The
-only thing to do was to wait until the river fell, in a couple of weeks
-or so, and then maybe they'd find what was left of me and Swatty
-down-river, where we'd be washed up, if we ever was.
-
-Well, that was what everybody thought. My mother cried, and Mrs.
-Schwartz cried, and I guess most of the women cried, and the men looked
-mighty sober, and said what a pity it was so hopeless; but what could
-they do? Everybody was sober or crying, I guess, except Fan, and I guess
-she'd been so mad at Herb she just couldn't be anything but mad. She was
-so full of mad that it had to come out, so while everybody was crying
-and all she just flew up in the air and went over and gave Herb a good
-raking.
-
-“Well!” she says. “And you call yourself a man! Do you mean to stand
-around here like a bump on a log and do nothing?” she says. “I'm glad
-I found out in time what a helpless ninny you are,” or something
-like that. She gave it to him good, I tell you! “This trash,” she
-says--meaning the mayor and the firemen and the city council and
-everybody--“I don't expect anything else from, but I once thought you
-had some gump.” Or something like that. So Herb got red.
-
-“Very well,” he says, like a man ready to jump off the high school roof,
-“if you say so, I'll take a skiff and go out upon the river. You can't
-call me a 'fraid-cat, Fan. You'll never call me that.” Or something like
-that, he said.
-
-“Skiff indeed!” says Fan. “You'd have a nice picnic with a skiff,
-wouldn't you? Have some sense, Herbert Schwartz. What good is that
-ferryboat doing, tied up here?”
-
-Well, that was what they done. At first Captain Hewitt didn't want to
-take the ferryboat out. He said it was hopeless, and that she was an
-old rotten hull, and that a log would go through her like a needle,
-and she'd sink, and she couldn't make headway up-stream against such a
-flood, and a lot more, but with all the folks in town there he couldn't
-keep that up long; so he went aboard and fired up, and sent up-town
-for Jerry Mason, who was the regular fireman. By that time it was dark
-enough for anybody, so Mr. Higgins, the steamboat agent, went and got
-the two flambeaux he uses when steamboats unload at night, and everybody
-that had a porch lantern with a reflector got that, and they put them
-all on the ferryboat. Flambeaux are big iron baskets on iron poles,
-and the poles are pointed at the bottom so they can be jabbed into the
-ground or a floor or anything. You fill the baskets with tar and wood
-and light them. So when that was all ready most of the firemen got
-aboard with their hooks, off the hook and ladder trucks, and a lot of
-other men got aboard with pike poles and grapple hooks, and Herb went
-up in the pilot house with Captain Hewitt, and they set out to find our
-bodies.
-
-But me and Swatty wasn't bodies yet, we was still folks. We were
-feeling a little bit better, too, because Swatty found out that the tree
-he was in was a slippery elm tree, and he peeled off some slippery elm
-bark and chewed it, and he tossed some over to me, and I chewed that.
-So we wondered how long a fellow could live on slippery elm bark, and if
-Swatty would have the tree peeled clean before the river went down. If
-he did we'd starve to death; but Swatty said that, as the water went
-down, more and more of the tree trunk would be above water and we
-could peel it and eat it. So we both felt better, only there was a dead
-something had caught in the tree branches and when the wind changed it
-didn't smell very good. It smelled worse than that, even. So about then
-we began to see the lights come out on shore, and pretty soon we saw
-the big, smoky light the flambeaux made. We thought it was a bonfire on
-shore up at town.
-
-Well, I guess we'd have been bodies before anybody got to us, anyway,
-if we hadn't had some bad luck. Me and Swatty was there in our trees
-chewing away at slippery elm when all at once something big and black
-come slamming down onto the point of the Tow Head. It looked like a
-house, but I guess it was only a cow shed or something like that, that
-had got floated off the river bottoms by the flood. It came all of a
-sudden, and before we knew what had happened it hit the Tow Head point
-and banged into the tree I was on, and the water began to rush over
-it, and then all at once the tree I was on began to give. It began to
-topple. It went slow at first and then it went quicker, and it fell over
-against the tree Swatty was in, and the shed came bumping after it, and
-then Swatty's tree keeled over, too, and me and Swatty went down under,
-and the shed come grating over us--right over our heads and pushing our
-trees down into the water.
-
-All I ever knew was that the next thing I knew I was slammed up against
-the side of the shed by the water and pushed against it like a big hand
-was pushing me, and I was fighting to get more out of the water, and
-then the shed sort of melted and went to pieces and I was holding onto a
-board and going down with the current between the trees of the Tow Head.
-Sometimes the board hit a tree, and sometimes it didn't, but I thought
-I was all over with, anyway, and then right ahead of me I saw the water
-rushing and roaring up against something.
-
-I didn't know what it was, but it was a log raft the mill folks had put
-in behind the Tow Head so it wouldn't get washed away. It was in the
-inside of the horseshoe, and all across the front of it was driftwood
-and trash and old boards and everything, and that was what the water was
-splashing against, and before I knew it I was slammed up against it--me
-and my board. And what I slammed up against was the bridge timber I had
-been on before, or one like it. If I had slammed up against where it was
-just bark and driftwood I would have clawed at it a while and then gone
-under, I guess; but I crawled onto the timber and just lay there and
-tried to get the water out of my nose. It looked like half a mile of
-driftwood was jammed in between me and the log raft--jammed in and
-pushed together the way a flood can jam it and push it.
-
-Well, that timber wasn't any place to be. The water rushed against it
-and over it, so I was getting ducked all the time, and I put out my hand
-and tried the drift stuff, but it didn't seem like it would hold me up,
-but there was one board that was on top of the stuff, and I tried that.
-I slid over onto it and it seemed all right, so I edged along it, and
-when I got to the end of the board the drift stuff seemed firmer and
-I got on my stomach and edged out onto it. It was firm enough, but not
-very firm, but on my stomach that way I covered a good deal of it at a
-time, and I sort of wiggled along, and the more I wiggled the firmer it
-got. It had to, with all the river pushing it, and the driftwood back of
-it pushing too.
-
-So it took me about an hour to get to the log raft, and when I got to
-the edge logs, that are chained together, I was all scratched and sore
-and I just sat down and cried, because I knew Swatty was dead.
-
-And all at once he said, “Hello, Georgie!” and there he was, crawling
-along the logs toward me. He said he went under when the tree fell over,
-and that he went under all the driftwood and come up through a hole
-in the raft. Maybe he did. There were holes enough in the raft. But I
-didn't get there that way.
-
-Anyway, there he was, and that made me feel a lot better, and we crawled
-around the edge of the raft, because we wanted to get to the lower side.
-
-Swatty said maybe we could push a log under the outside chain of logs
-and paddle to shore on it, but I wasn't going to do it. Only I wanted
-to see him do it if he did it. So we got to the lower edge of the raft,
-where it stuck out below the Tow Head, and just then along came the
-ferryboat. She was back-paddling and going as slow as she could, and she
-looked like an excursion with all the porch lamps and the flambeaux.
-So me and Swatty hollered, but I guess they saw us before we hollered.
-Everybody came over on our side and that tipped the ferry over a little,
-and a lot of the men threw ropes at us and held out their pike poles,
-and me and Swatty grabbed them and they yanked us aboard. So then she
-whistled five times and waited and whistled five times again, and so on,
-because that was the signal they was to make if they found our bodies,
-and they had found them, but they were alive yet. So then Herb made the
-captain whistle long and steady without stopping, so maybe they'd know
-we were alive yet. But nobody knew it, because nobody thought we would
-be.
-
-Well, the old ferry let out so much steam whistling she couldn't go
-up-stream. I guess she couldn't anyway. So they ran her into the shore
-just where she was and tied her to a big tree, and when we got to the
-road there was Mother and Father and Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz in a livery
-rig, because they had followed the boat all the way down. And Fan was
-in the rig, too. So they all pawed me and Swatty over and saw how bad we
-was scratched and all, and said we was suffering from exhaustion, but we
-wasn't. We was only played out.
-
-So then Herbert said, “All right!” and started to go away, and Fan said,
-“Herbert!”
-
-“What is it?” he said.
-
-“I want you to ride up-town with us,” she said.
-
-“No,” he said, “I'll go back and help Captain Hewitt get the boat in
-shape. I guess I've done enough to show you I 've some gump.”
-
-“But I _want_ you to come,” Fan says. “I want to talk to you.”
-
-So he came. Him and Fan sat on the front seat and drove and talked, and
-I guess their talk was all right, because they fixed everything up. And
-that was where Miss Murphy got left. Just because she wanted to lick
-Swatty she lost her beau. That's why I say I guess if teachers always
-knew how their lickings were going to turn out they wouldn't lick us
-fellows so much. Not when the fellow is the brother of their beau,
-anyway.
-
-
-
-
-II. MAMIE'S FATHER
-
-I guess this is a good time to tell about Mamie Little, because now you
-know who me and Swatty and Bony are. Mamie Little was my girl, only she
-didn't know it. Nobody knew it but me. It was a secret I had. That's
-the way a fellow has a girl at first: she's a secret and she don't know
-she's his girl. Sometimes she don't never get to know it and the fellow
-has to get another girl. But while he “has” her the fellow knows it, and
-it makes him feel bashful and uncomfortable and frightened when she is
-near by and it is pretty bully.
-
-The reason I picked out Mamie Little for my girl was because she had
-the nicest eyes and nicest hair of any girl I ever saw and the way she
-swished her dress when she walked. She lived across the street from my
-house and mostly played with my sister Lucy. So when I played with
-Lucy I could play with Mamie Little, too, and nobody would think it was
-because she was my girl. They would think I was just playing with my
-sister.
-
-Mamie Little had been my girl a good while like that, with nobody
-knowing it but me, and I guessed that pretty soon it would be time for
-me to fight Swatty or somebody about her and have her for my real girl,
-if she didn't mind; but just then Toady Williams came to town and he
-picked out Mamie Little to be his girl and didn't care who knew it. And
-Mamie Little didn't care who knew it.
-
-Toady was a new kid in town, because his father had come to Riverbank
-to start a store. We never said Toady could be one of our crowd and we
-never wanted him to be, but he just joined on because he felt like it.
-That's the kind of boy he was. He thought anybody would be tickled to
-death to have him be around with them. He wasn't a fat boy, but he was
-a plump one, and his breeches always fit him so close they were like
-the skin on a horse; when he wrinkled they wrinkled. He wore shoes in
-summer. He looked all the time like company come to visit, and I guess
-that was one reason we didn't care for him much.
-
-The reason we called him Toady was because of his eyes. They popped out
-like a frog's eyes, sort of like brown marbles, and the more he talked
-the more they popped out. When he talked he couldn't do anything else
-but talk. Swatty could lie on his stomach and chew an apple and play
-mumblety-peg and kick a hole in the sod with one toe and talk, all at
-one time, but Toady couldn't. He had to sit up straight and pop his eyes
-out. When he got started talking you could cut in and say, “Was your
-grandmother a monkey?” and he'd say, “Yes,” as if he hadn't heard,
-and go right on talking. He wouldn't fight, like me and Swatty, and
-sometimes Bony, would. If you thought it was time to have a fight with
-him and pitched into him he would bend down and turn his back and let
-you mailer him until you got through. But, mostly, he would talk somehow
-so you wouldn't want to fight him. That's no way for a boy to talk. It's
-the way girls talk. Or preachers.
-
-Toady didn't get Mamie Little for his girl the right way. He never said
-she _wasn't_ his girl, he just said she _was_. The right way is that
-when the other fellows find out he has a girl they holler at him: “Mamie
-Little is Georgie's girl! Mamie Little is Georgie's girl!” And he has
-to get mad and fight them about it to prove it's a lie, but after he has
-fought enough to prove she isn't his girl, why, then she is his girl
-and he can have her for his girl and nobody hollers it at him. So
-then she is the one he chooses to kiss when they play “Post-Office” or
-“Copenhagen” at parties, and if he's got anything to give her he gives
-it to her, like snail shells or a better slate pencil than she has, and
-such things. So it's pretty nice, and you feel pretty good about it and
-are glad she's your girl.
-
-Well, a short while before Toady Williams came to our town they had an
-election to see whether the state was to be prohibition or not, and all
-the school children whose fathers were prohibition paraded; so Mamie
-Little paraded because her father had the prohibition newspaper in
-Riverbank, and I paraded because Mamie did and my father didn't care
-whether there was prohibition or not. Swatty didn't parade because his
-father was a German tailor, and when he felt like a glass of beer he
-wanted to have it, and every fall Swatty's mother made grape wine out of
-wild grapes that me and Swatty got from the vines in the bottom across
-the Mississippi. When they had the election, prohibition was elected all
-over the state, but not in Riverbank; but we had to have it in Riverbank
-because the state elected it.
-
-Of course I was prohibition, because I had paraded and because Mamie
-Little was, but Swatty was antiprohibition. I didn't say a thing to make
-Swatty mad; all I said was: “Huh! You thought you was so smart, didn't
-you? You thought prohibition was going to get licked, but it was you
-got licked. Next time you won't be so smart. I guess you and your father
-feel pretty sick about it.”
-
-“Don't you say anything about my father!” Swatty said.
-
-“I'll say he was licked, because he was licked,” I said.
-
-So Swatty pulled off his coat and I pulled off mine, and we had a good
-fight. He licked me because he always did; and when he was sitting on my
-ribs and had his knees on my arms so I couldn't do anything, he asked me
-if I had had enough, and I said I had. Because I had had.
-
-“I guess I showed you how much the prohibitions can lick the
-anti-prohibitions!” he said.
-
-“Let me up,” I said.
-
-“Are you prohibition?” he asked.
-
-I said, “Yes, I am.”
-
-“All right!” he said, and he put his hand on my nose and pushed. He
-pushed my nose right into my face. I never had anything hurt like that
-did. I yelled, it hurt so much. I told him to stop.
-
-“All right,” he said, “if I stop what are you?”
-
-I knew what he meant. He had already got me from being a Republican
-to being a Democrat that way once before. I wasn't thinking of Mamie
-Little; I was thinking of my nose. So I said:
-
-“I'm an anti-prohibition. Now let me up. You 've busted my nose and some
-of my ribs, and I want to put some plantain on my eye before it swells
-up.”
-
-We felt of my ribs and couldn't find that any seemed busted, and my nose
-stopped hurting and came back into shape, so me and Swatty were
-better friends than we had ever been, because we were now both
-anti-prohibitions. We went around and made a lot of prohibitions into
-anti-prohibitions because Swatty showed me how to push a nose the way he
-pushed mine. But it didn't do much good, I guess. The election was over
-and, anyway, there were always more anti-prohibitions in Riverbank than
-there were prohibitions.
-
-It was almost right away after that that me and Swatty and Bony met
-Mamie Little and Lucy one Saturday afternoon. Lucy is my sister, and
-they were going down-town. Me and Swatty and Bony were sitting on the
-curb telling whoppers; or I guess Swatty and Bony were, I was just
-telling some things that had happened to me sometime that I'd forgot
-until I happened to think them up just then.
-
-Swatty was telling how he went up to Derlingport and his uncle
-introduced him to the man that had the government job of making up new
-swear words, when Mamie and Lucy came along. I said:
-
-“Where are you going?”
-
-“Down-town,” Lucy said.
-
-“Did Mother give you a nickel?” I asked, and I was sort of mad, because
-Mother owed me a nickel and hadn't paid me, because she said she didn't
-have one, and if she gave one to Lucy, why, all right for Mother!
-
-“No, she didn't give me a nickel, Mr. Smarty!” Lucy said. “If you want
-to know so much, we're going down to Mr. Schwartz's shop to see if he'll
-let Mamie have a father.”
-
-I guess that would sound pretty funny if you didn't know what she meant.
-It was paper dolls.
-
-Girls always play paper dolls, I guess; so Mamie and Lucy and all the
-girls played them; they got them out of the colored fashion plates in
-the magazines--brides and mothers and sons and daughters.
-
-The trouble was that a good family has to have anyway one father in it,
-and the magazines didn't have colored fashion plates of fathers. They
-didn't have any fathers at all.
-
-Some of the girls drew fathers on paper and painted them, but they
-looked pretty sick. I guess all the girls were jealous of Lucy because
-she was kind of Swatty's girl, and Swatty sort of borrowed an old
-colored tailor fashion plate out of his father's store and gave it to
-Lucy. So Lucy had the only real fathers that any of the girls had. She
-gave Mamie a couple of fathers out of the fashion plate, but they were
-the ones that had been standing partly behind other fathers and had
-mostly only one leg, or pieces cut out of their sides or something. They
-didn't make Mamie real happy, I guess, so she thought she'd try to
-get some good fathers. They were going down to ask Mr. Schwartz for a
-fashion plate.
-
-Swatty was frightened right away, because he hadn't asked his father if
-he could have the old fashion plate but had just sort of borrowed it. So
-he said:
-
-“What are you going to ask my father?”
-
-“I'm going to tell him he gave you one for me,” Lucy said, “and I'm
-going to ask him if he'll give me one for Mamie.”
-
-So then Swatty was scared.
-
-“No, don't do it!” he said.
-
-“I will, too, do it!” Lucy answered back. “I guess I know your father,
-and I guess my father buys clothes of him, and I guess we take milk of
-your mother, and I guess I will, too, ask him if I want to!”
-
-Well, Swatty couldn't answer back because he had Lucy for his secret
-girl like I had Mamie Little.
-
-So I got up and stood in front of Lucy and pushed her a little, because
-she wasn't my girl but only my sister, and I said:
-
-“You will not do it. You go home!”
-
-“You stop pushing me! I won't go home.”
-
-“Yes, you will, when I say so!” I said.
-
-I was going to tell her that as soon as there were any more old fashion
-plates at Swatty's father's, Swatty would swi--would get one for Mamie,
-but Lucy got mad because I just took hold of her arm too hard between my
-thumb and finger. She said I pinched her, but I did not; I just sort of
-took hold of her that way. She ran back a way and stuck out her tongue
-at me.
-
-“Now, just for that, Mr. Smarty,” she yelled, “I'm going to tell Mamie
-on you!”
-
-“You just dare!” I started for her, but she skipped off.
-
-“Mamie,” she shouted, “you'll be mad when I tell you! Georgie Porgie
-is an anti-prohibition!” Mamie just stood and looked at me, because I'd
-said I'd always be a prohibition.
-
-“Are you?” she asked.
-
-If Swatty hadn't been right there I would have changed back to a
-prohibition again and it would have been all right, but he was there and
-I wasn't going to have him think I would change just on account of a
-girl. So I said:
-
-“Uh, huh!”
-
-“All right for you, Mr. Georgie! You needn't ever speak to me again as
-long as you live!” she said.
-
-I felt pretty cheap. I tried to say something, and I couldn't think of
-anything to say, so I made a face at her and she made one at me, and
-then we were mad at each other and she went away. She went toward
-down-town, and Lucy skipped across the street and ran and went with her.
-And that was one reason Mamie was glad that Toady Williams had her for
-his girl when he came to town. She guessed I did not like it. And I
-didn't.
-
-Mr. Schwartz said Mamie could have the fashion plate as soon as he was
-through with it, which would be at the end of the season when he got a
-new one. Lucy let me know that, all right! I guess it was on account
-of Lucy he promised to let Mamie have the fashion plate, because he was
-awful fond of Lucy.
-
-Anyway, Mamie was mighty pleased to know she was going to have a good
-father.
-
-When she played paper dolls with Lucy I used to sort of go over where
-they were and maybe stand there to see if Mamie was mad at me still.
-About all she said was how glad she'd be when she had a good father. I
-guess I heard her say it a hundred times, but she never let on she knew
-I was there at all. Sometimes I'd sort of drop an apple or something
-so it would fall where she could reach it, but she never paid any
-attention. The most she would do would be to pick up a one-legged father
-and say:
-
-“'Where are you going, Mr. Reginald de Vere?' 'I'm going down-town to
-vote a while if you do not need me to take care of the baby.' 'Not at
-all, but I do hope you will show folks you are a prohibition.
-If I ever heard you were an anti-prohibition I would cut you up into
-mincemeat.'”
-
-So then I most generally went away.
-
-I got kind of sick of girls. I made up my mind they were no good anyway,
-and that I'd never have another one if I lived to be a million years
-old, and when I wrote notes to Mamie in school it wasn't any use
-because she always tore them up without reading them. It made me feel
-awful to have her so mean. Because she wasn't mean to Toady.
-
-Well, it came to examination time and we began to be examined. Swatty
-and Bony and I didn't have to be examined in arithmetic until Thursday
-afternoon and neither did Lucy or Mamie, so Swatty and Bony and I
-thought we might as well go fishing that morning. We got our poles and
-some bait and started, and we went down Third Street and when we came to
-the railway track we cut across through Burman's lumber yard toward the
-river because that was the quickest way.
-
-Burman's sawmill was the biggest one in Riverbank then. I guess you know
-how big those sawmills were. Great big red buildings with gravel roofs
-where they sawed the logs that came down the river in rafts, and where
-they made shingles, and the row of sheds where they dried the lumber
-with steam, and another big one where the planers were. There were
-hundreds and hundreds of piles of lumber, each one as tall as a house,
-and all the ground was made of sawdust and rattlings, because it was
-filled ground.
-
-There were railway sidings here, and there were flat cars and box cars
-being loaded.
-
-Burman's sawmill and lumber yards were just under the bluff. Once there
-had been a brickyard there, and the bluff was cut down steep where
-they had dug clay. Across the street there was still a brickyard, with
-hundreds and hundreds of cords of wood, ready to be used to burn brick,
-and with the kilns loosely roofed over. Back toward the town was a sash
-and door factory, a pretty big building, and then some houses, and
-then the stores began. About the fifth store on one side was Swatty's
-father's tailor shop. It was a building all by itself, and it was one
-story high and frame, and it had a false front above the first story,
-with Swatty's father's name on it, and there was one window on the
-street.
-
-Well, Swatty and Bony and me went through the lumber yard to the place
-where Burman's oil shed was.
-
-The oil shed was right up against the bluff, almost at the railway,
-and it was up on stakes, so that it was safer. It was about as big as a
-kitchen, and was painted red and the floor and part of the and part of
-the stakes were soaked with oil, and the grass underneath was withered
-and oily because the oil had dripped and killed it.
-
-Just as we got there we saw Slim Finnegan, who was in our class at
-school but ever so much older than we were, and he was under the oil
-shed smoking a corncob pipe. His coat was on the grass beside him, and
-just as we got there he jumped up and began slamming at the grass with
-his coat, for the grass was afire. Before we could guess what happened,
-the flames seemed to run up the stakes like live animals, and all at
-once the whole bottom of the floor of the oil shed was afire.
-
-Slim Finnegan gave one look at it, and tucked his coat under his arm and
-ran. There were piles and piles of lumber right there and he jumped in
-among them, and I guess he hid. We didn't see him any more.
-
-Swatty ran for the sawmill. He shouted to the first man he saw before he
-was halfway to the sawmill, and the man hollered “Fire!” and ran for a
-hose wagon they had under a shed and began jerking it out, and Swatty
-ran on, shouting “Fire!”
-
-It wasn't a second before all the men began piling out of the sawmill
-and came running from the lumber yards, and the mill whistle began
-blowing as hard as it could. It almost made you deaf when you were that
-close. Right away the whole place seemed to fill up with men, and they
-all had axes or hooks or whatever they ought to have had.
-
-The mill whistle kept blowing without stopping, and in a minute the
-whistle on the sash and door factory joined in, and then the regular
-fire whistle on the waterworks started up. The oil house was just one
-big red flame that went up in the air and turned into the blackest kind
-of smoke. We saw the men with the mill's hose trying to throw water on
-the oil house, and every one was shouting at the tops of their voices.
-We saw men on top of the nearest lumber piles, but almost as soon as we
-saw them we saw them dodge away and climb down as quick as they could,
-and the next minute those lumber piles were afire on one side. They were
-red flames, and they climbed right up the sides of the piles and waved
-at the top.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing down the railway track as the fire
-got too hot for us. There were hundreds of people, but there were more
-than that in other parts of the neighborhood. Almost everybody in town
-came to the fire, because by this time dozens of lumber piles were
-afire, and the sawmill had set fire to the dry-sheds and the planer. You
-couldn't see the bluff at all, because there was just one big wall of
-flame in front of it. Whole boards went sailing right up into the air,
-burning as they went, and the blue smoke that blew over the town was
-full of pine cinders and burning pieces of wood. There never was such a
-fire in Riverbank. The ground seemed to burn, too, and it did, because it
-was sawdust and rattlings.
-
-The brickyard burned--everything that could burn--and the bluff of yellow
-clay, there and beside the sawmill, was burned red, like brick--and the
-flat cars and the box cars all burned. It was an awful fire! Wet lumber
-in the newest piles burned as if it was dry. The railway bridge and two
-other bridges burned. At noon it was like evening, because the smoke hid
-the sun.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing away as the fire came toward us.
-Sometimes we would turn, and run. We backed away as far as ten city
-blocks would be, I guess, before we were where we did not have to back
-away any more. We forgot all about school, and about fishing, and about
-everything. It was the kind of fire where nobody thinks of going home
-until it is all over.
-
-It was about two o'clock when the people in front and the firemen in
-front of them gave a sort of roar, as if they were a lot of animals, and
-everybody crowded back. The firemen on top of the sash and door factory
-ran from one edge of the roof to the other, looking down. Two of them
-jumped off. They were killed, but the others got down the ladders,
-and the next minute the factory and its oil house were all afire at
-once--just sort of spouted fire from all the windows as if the fire had
-been all fixed to break out that way.
-
-Before you could turn around and then look back, the sash and door
-factory was one big, hot flame, and then the houses began to go. First
-one and then another caught fire.
-
-We got crowded back until we were in the street right opposite to
-Swatty's father's tailor shop, and Swatty's father was on the front step
-of it shaking his hands in the air and shouting like a crazy man, but
-nobody paid any attention to him. He was a little man and he had gray
-hair, but he was mostly bald. He didn't have a hat on and he looked
-pretty crazy standing there and shouting.
-
-Well, we didn't know until afterward what he was shouting about, but I
-know now, so I might as well tell it. There was a cellar under his shop
-and it was full of barrels of whiskey. When prohibition was elected the
-saloons thought they would have to stop for a while and that then they
-could go ahead again, so they hunted for some place to hide the whiskey
-they owned, where it would be safe for a while, and Mr. Schwartz's
-cellar was one of the places they hid it in. What Swatty's father was
-trying to shout was that if his shop caught fire all the whiskey in the
-cellar might explode and the people standing around might be killed and
-the whole town burn up. I don't wonder he was sort of crazy about it. I
-guess Swatty felt sort of ashamed that his father was acting so crazy.
-
-So then the house next to Swatty's father's shop caught fire, and the
-next minute the side of Swatty's father's shop began to smoke.
-
-The policemen were sort of crowding us back all the time, but we would
-n't go back much, and all at once Mamie Little started out of the crowd
-and began to run toward Swatty's father's shop. But when she was halfway
-there the fire marshal just caught her by the arm and gave her a sort of
-twist and slung her back, and then the policeman nearest us caught her
-and jammed her back against me and Swatty. She was crying all the time;
-she kept moaning, “My father! My father!”
-
-So just then Swatty's father ran out and grabbed the fire marshal by the
-arm and talked to him in German, because they were both German, and the
-fire marshal ran toward his firemen and shouted through his trumpet, and
-all the firemen up the street came running back, dragging all their hose
-and all shouting.
-
-It was all wild and sort of crazy, and suddenly the fire marshal ran
-back to where the firemen were tugging at the heavy hose and shouting,
-and four firemen who were holding on to a nozzle pointed the stream into
-the air. It was worse than any rain you ever saw. It was just “whoosh!”
- and we were all soaked. So all the crowd hollered and screamed, and we
-all turned and ran, and all I knew was that I had hold of Mamie Little's
-hand and was helping her run. I was awful sorry for her because she was
-crying and her father was going to burn.
-
-So Swatty said: “What's she crying for? Why don't she shut up?”
-
-He meant Mamie Little. So I said:
-
-“She can cry if she wants to! I'd like to see you try to stop her! She's
-crying because your father gave her his fashion plate and it's going to
-be burned up, and if you say much I'll lick you!”
-
-So Swatty said: “If that's all she's crying for, come on. We'll get her
-old fashion plate for her.” So I said to Mamie Little: “Stop being a
-baby and shut up, and we'll get your old fashion plate for you.”
-
-Swatty just cut in through the crowd, and me and Bony followed after
-him. He went up the side street, and we climbed over the fence into
-the yard of the corner house and cut across that yard and over another
-fence. That way we got to the back of Swatty's father's shop without any
-one stopping us. Bony kind of kept behind us.
-
-It was mighty hot, because the house next door was all afire, but the
-firemen were keeping all their hose on the side of Swatty's father's
-shop, trying to keep it from burning. We crouched down and kept our
-backs to the fire so the heat wouldn't shrivel us, and we got to
-the back door and it wasn't locked. We went in. It was hot--like an
-oven--inside, and the noise of all the water on the side of the house
-was like thunder, only louder. The inside of the shop was like under
-a waterfall. You wouldn't think anything so wet could burn, but it did.
-Before we were halfway to the front window the fire began to eat into
-the shop along the floor. The water on that side just turned to steam
-and dried as fast as it ran down.
-
-Bony began to cry, but we hadn't any time to stop. Swatty took him _by_
-the hand and jerked him along, and we got to the window and I grabbed
-the fashion plate. Then we couldn't go back because the shop was mostly
-afire and we would have been burned up. So then Bony got real scared and
-ran to the front door and threw it open, and a stream from a hose
-caught him and sent him head over heels back into the shop where it was
-burning; he was knocked unconscious because his head hit a table leg.
-
-So I didn't know what to do. I guess I began to cry. I crouched down
-in the window because I couldn't get out at the door on account of the
-stream of water that was coming in there a hundred miles a minute, and
-I couldn't go back because the back of the shop was all afire now. But
-Swatty crawled on his hands and knees under the table where Bony was,
-where the fire was beginning to burn harder, and he grabbed Bony and
-yanked him along the floor back to the window. I guess I helped him jerk
-Bony onto the window shelf, but just then another stream of water busted
-the window in. The glass fell all around us and one piece cut Swatty on
-the hand, but he only said, “Jump! Jump!”
-
-Maybe we would have jumped, but we didn't. The firemen had got to the
-back of the building and had turned the hose in at the back window, and
-just when Swatty said, “Jump!” the stream of water hit us like a board.
-It took us as if we were pieces of paper and slammed us out of the
-broken window and halfway across the street, and threw us head over
-heels in the mud, and the fashion plate, with Mamie Little's father,
-came flying with us.
-
-[Illustration: 66]
-
-So I crawled over to where the fashion plate was and took hold of it and
-began to drag it to where Mamie Little was. A policeman came and took me
-by the shoulder and lifted me up, but I couldn't stand, and that was the
-first I knew my ankle was sprained. But Swatty got up himself and sassed
-the policeman that came to get him. He told him he had a right to go
-into his father's own shop if he wanted to, and that if the policeman
-said much more he would go back again.
-
-I guess the whiskey exploded all right. Three more houses burned before
-they stopped the fire, but we didn't see that because Bony ran all the
-way home, and somebody carried me to a wagon, and drove home with me,
-and Swatty's father got him and took him up the main street and waled
-him on the hotel corner with a half-burned shingle that had blown from
-the lumber fire.
-
-The next day my ankle hurt pretty bad and I stayed in bed with linament
-on it and after school Lucy came up to see me. “Come on up in my room
-and play,” I told her.
-
-“No,” she said, “I don't want to. I want to go down and play with Mamie
-Little; we're playing paper dolls. We're having lots of fun.”
-
-“Ho!” I said. “Paper dolls! They're no fun.”
-
-“They are, too,” Lucy said. “And we've got to cut out Mamie's fathers.
-She's got a whole fashion plate full.”
-
-“Where'd she get them?” I asked, because I guessed right away what
-fashion plate it was.
-
-“Why, Toady Williams gave them to her,” Lucy said. “He got them out of
-the fire or somewhere and gave them to her. He's helping us cut them
-out.”
-
-Gee! I felt sore!
-
-
-
-
-III. THE “DIVORCE”
-
-After I got out of bed and went back to school I fought Toady Williams
-a couple of times, but it wasn't much good because he wouldn't fight
-back. All the good it did was to make Mamie Little tell Lucy I was a
-mean, bad boy and that she would never speak to me again as long as she
-lived. Once I almost told her that it was me that got the father fashion
-plate out of the fire and that Toady Williams didn't do anything but
-pick it up out of the mud after I had got it for her, but I didn't tell
-her because then she would have thought I was sweet on her. That _would_
-have made me feel cheap.
-
-It made me feel pretty mean, just the same, to see the way Toady
-Williams was playing with her all the time, when I had picked her out to
-be my secret girl. He gave her pencils and apples and everything and
-I guess she liked it. I wished I was grown up, so I could ride up on a
-bucking bronco and sling a lasso over Toady's head and jerk him into
-the dust. Then Mamie Little would say, “Hello, Georgie! Can I get up
-and ride behind you over the wild plains, because I don't want to have
-anything more to do with a 'fraidy-cat like Toady.”
-
-But it didn't seem as if anything like that was going to happen. Not for
-years, anyway.
-
-One day Swatty came over to my yard and he said, “Say!” so I said, “Say
-what?” and he said, “Say, you know Herb's tricycle?” and I said I did.
-Herb was Swatty's brother that wanted to marry my sister Fan and he
-had got the tricycle a couple of years ago, when all the bicycles were
-high-wheel bicycles. He had got it for him and Fan to ride on, and
-it was a two-seat one--side-by-side seats--and after a few times Fan
-wouldn't ride on it because it made her as conspicuous as a pig on a
-flagpole. So Herb rode on it alone some, and with some other fellow
-some, but mostly he kept it chained up in Swatty's barn and said he
-would scalp Swatty and skin him alive if Swatty ever touched it.
-
-So this day Swatty came over and he said, “What do you think!” because
-Herb said when he was married to Fan, Swatty could have the tricycle.
-You bet Swatty was tickled. So I asked him who would ride on it with
-him.
-
-“Well--you will,” he said. “And Bony. That's when I ain't taking
-somebody else.”
-
-He didn't say who else, but I knew, because I knew Swatty was having my
-sister Lucy for his secret girl.
-
-“And part of the time,” I said, “I can have it alone, can't I, Swatty?”
-
-“It's my tricycle--” he started to say.
-
-“It ain't yet,” I told him, “and I guess if I go to work good and plenty
-it never will be, because if I want to I can think up how to make Fan
-mad at Herb again and then you wouldn't get it. And, anyway, if Lucy went
-to ride on it she might fall off and get hurt, so I guess I'd tell my
-mother not to let Lucy ride on it. Unless I could take it sometimes and
-find out that it was safe.”
-
-Because I guessed that if Mamie Little had a chance to ride on that
-tricycle with me she'd be pretty sick of that fat, old Toady Williams
-mighty quick. So me and Swatty fixed it up that way, that I was to have
-the tricycle part of the time and he was to have it part of the time.
-The only thing was to get Herb and Fan married off as soon as we could,
-and to look out that nothing turned up to scare them away from each
-other again like that Miss Murphy fuss did. It wasn't going to take
-much to scare Herb away. I knew that.
-
-Well, I guess grown folks don't care whether they have a divorce or not,
-because they are always having them and so maybe they get used to having
-them and don't think much about it and are not ashamed to have them,
-but I guess a kid is always kind of ashamed when his folks get them. We
-never had one in our family but we had babies and I guess a kid feels
-about the same way when there is a divorce in his family as he does
-when there is a baby. It makes him feel pretty sick and ashamed and
-miserable. It ain't his fault but he feels like it was. He goes out the
-back gate and sneaks to school through the alley and when a kid sees him
-the kid says: “Ho! you had a baby at your house,” and the kid that had
-the baby come to his house wishes he could sneak into a crack in the
-sidewalk or die or something.
-
-I guess that's the way it is when you have a divorce at your house. It
-ain't your fault but you feel like it was and you don't have any of the
-fun of fighting and getting the divorce, like your folks do; you just
-have the feel-miserable part.
-
-So one day about when the river began to fall again, only it was still
-mighty high, me and Swatty and Bony went up to Bony's room in Bony's
-house. It was muddy weather, in June, and I guess we had been wading
-in the mud or something so we knew Bony's mother wouldn't let us go
-upstairs to his room unless we washed our feet first, unless we sneaked
-it. So we sneaked it.
-
-The reason we went up was so Bony could prove it that the Victor bicycle
-his father might maybe buy for him weighed only forty-five pounds. He
-had a catalogue to prove it with but it was up in his room, so we went
-up to get it. It proved it, all right. Swatty said that was pretty light
-for a bicycle to weigh, and I said it, too. So then we said a lot of
-more things about a lot of other things but mostly we talked about the
-bicycle, because Bony was going to let me and Swatty learn to ride on it
-if he got it. Swatty bet he could get right on it and ride right off
-as slick as a whistle because he had an uncle in Derlingport that had
-a dozen bicycles. So then Bony said he'd like to know why, if Swatty's
-uncle had that many, he didn't send Swatty one, and Swatty said maybe he
-would. We just kind of talked and let the mud dry on our feet and crack
-off onto the floor.
-
-Well, in the floor in one place there was a hole and Bony showed us
-how he could look through it down into the dining-room and see what
-his mother was putting on the table for dinner whenever she was putting
-anything on. The hole was about as big around as a stovepipe and it had
-a tin business in it to keep the floor from catching afire because that
-was where the stovepipe from the dining-room stove came up through the
-floor to go into a drum to help heat Bony's room when it was winter. So
-we all looked down into Bony's stovepipe hole to see if it was like he
-said. And it was.
-
-Just then Bony's father came into the diningroom. He had his hat on
-but it wasn't time for dinner or anything and he didn't come into the
-dining-room as if he was coming for dinner. He came in fast and threw
-his hat on the floor and pounded on the table twice with his fist. The
-dishes jumped and a milk pitcher fell over on its side and spilled the
-milk.
-
-“Mary! Mary!” he shouted.
-
-So Bony's mother came in from the kitchen. “Why, Henry!” she said;
-“what's the matter?”
-
-“Matter? Matter?” he shouted. “I'll tell you what's the matter! I'll
-show you what's the matter! Look at this! Look at this, will you!”
-
-Me and Swatty looked but Bony kind of drew back from the hole and his
-mother didn't look. I guess she didn't have to. I guess she knew what it
-was without looking. It was a bill, all right. Me and Swatty could see
-that but we didn't know what it was for--whether it was for a hat or a
-dress or what. So Bony's father threw the bill on the table and stood
-with one fist on the edge of the table and the other fist opening and
-shutting. Bony's mother had been paring potatoes or something, I guess.
-She wiped her hands on her apron but she didn't pick up the bill.
-
-“Well?” she said.
-
-“Of all the useless, idiotic, ill-timed, outrageous, unheard-of
-extravagance ever incurred by any brainless, gad-about, senseless, vain
-peacock of a woman--” Bony's father said.
-
-“Henry! Stop right there!” Bony's mother said. “This time I will
-not listen to your abuse. Year after year I have put up with this
-browbeating. I go in rags, and if I so much as buy--”
-
-“Rags!” Bony's father shouted. “Rags! You in rags? You dare taunt
-me with that, when you crowd enough on your back to support a dozen
-families? Rags? When from year's end to year's end I do nothing but
-struggle to pay your eternal bills!” Well, maybe I haven't got what
-Bony's father and mother said just the way they said it, but it was like
-that. So they had a good start and they went right on and pretty
-soon Bony's father was walking up and down the room, talking loud
-and pounding the table every time he passed it, and Bony's mother was
-sitting with a corner of her apron in each hand and the hands pressed to
-her cheeks. Her eyes were big and scary. So then Bony's father stopped
-in front of her and said a lot and she didn't talk back. So that made
-him mad and he took the tablecloth and jerked it and all the dishes fell
-on the floor and broke.
-
-Bony just went to the bed and lay on his face and squeezed his hands
-into his ears. I guess he felt pretty mean. He was crying, but we didn't
-know that then. We found it out afterward.
-
-So then, when all the dishes broke, Bony's mother sort of yelled and
-jumped up. Swatty said:
-
-“Garsh! What's she going to do?”
-
-But she didn't do anything like we thought she was going to. She bent
-down and picked up a dish that wasn't all smashed to pieces and put
-it on the table as easy as could be and then she untied her apron and
-folded it up and laid it over the back of a chair as neat as a pin. She
-looked at herself in the mirror in the sideboard and then walked around
-Bony's father and went toward the door into the hall.
-
-“Where are you going?” Bony's father asked.
-
-“Going?” she said, or something like that. “I'm going to see if I can't
-put a stop to this sort of thing. I have had enough years of it. I'm
-going to see Mr. Rascop.”
-
-Well, we knew who he was; he was a lawyer.
-
-“Very well,” said Bony's father, “go! I assure you you cannot get a
-divorce too quickly to suit me!”
-
-I guess that when the loud noise stopped Bony thought the fight was over
-and listened again. Anyway he was listening now and he heard what they
-said.
-
-“I thought that,” said Bony's mother. “This is not the first time, by
-many, that I have thought it. You will be glad to be rid of me and I
-of you. My mother will be glad enough to have me with her. I shall, of
-course, take the boy.”
-
-“As you like!” said Bony's father.
-
-“The boy” was Bony, so he began to blubber worse than ever. He was
-pretty much ashamed and when his folks began to talk quiet-like, without
-shouting, me and Swatty began to be ashamed, too. We felt the way you
-feel when there's just been a baby at your house--as if we hadn't ought
-to be there. So Swatty picked up his hat.
-
-“Come on!” he said. “Let's go. It ain't no fun up here in Bony's room.”
-
-“Wait!” Bony whispered, like he was scared to be left there alone, so we
-waited. He came along with us.
-
-We tiptoed downstairs and outdoors and I tell you it was good to get
-outside where there wasn't any divorce but just good spring mud and
-things. So Swatty whistled at a kid down the street but it was a kid
-Swatty had said he would lick if he caught him, so the kid ran.
-
-Well, we sat down on the grass under the tree and me and Swatty talked
-pretty loud and fighty because Bony wasn't saying anything at all and
-was looking so earnest it made us feel sort of ashamed. He was thinking
-of the divorce. So me and Swatty talked fighty to each other to try and
-make Bony forget.
-
-But Bony didn't laugh. He didn't even smile. So Swatty took some mud and
-stuck it on his nose and pretended it was medicine or something; to make
-Bony laugh. But Bony didn't laugh. I guess he felt pretty bad. Maybe a
-kid always feels that way when his folks are going to get divorced. So
-then Swatty said:
-
-“Hey, George! this is the way I'll ride on Bony's bicycle when he gets
-it!”
-
-So he pretended he was on a bicycle and he pretended to fall off all
-sorts of ways and to run into a tree and everything. Then I thought of
-something. I said:
-
-“Say! if they get a divorce and Bony goes away we can't learn bicycle
-riding on his bicycle!”
-
-We hadn't thought of that before and right away we forgot about whether
-Bony was feeling sick or not. We hadn't stopped to think that a divorce
-Bony's folks were getting would make a big difference like that to me
-and Swatty. It kind of brought us right into the divorce ourselves.
-Swatty looked frightened.
-
-“Garsh! that's so!” he said. “We can't learn to ride on a bicycle that's
-in another town.”
-
-“And, say!” I said, frightened, “if Herb hears about it, and how married
-folks fight and get divorces over hat-bills and things he's going to be
-scared to marry Fan, because hat-bills are the things father scolds Fan
-most about. He'll ask Fan if she has hat-bills--”
-
-“Garsh!” said Swatty again, “we've got to stop the divorce,” only he
-said “diworce,” because that was how he talked.
-
-I thought so, too. If Bony's folks got one and Herb heard about it and
-got scared of marrying Fan, then Swatty wouldn't have the tricycle and I
-couldn't take Mamie Little riding on it and make fat, old Toady Williams
-look sick. So I thought like Swatty did, but I said:
-
-“Well, how are you going to stop it?”
-
-“If Bony was to get the diphtheria, and get it bad, that would stop it,”
- he said.
-
-I saw that was so. If Bony got the diphtheria, and got it bad, they
-wouldn't let him travel on the train, and so his mother couldn't go to
-his grandmother's and that would stop it. So I said:
-
-“Yes, and while he was sick we could use his bicycle all the time. How's
-he going to get diphtheria?”
-
-“Why, as easy as pie,” Swatty said. “They've got it down at Markses.
-All he's got to do is to go down there and sneak in and stand around in
-Billy Markses bedroom until he gets it. Diphtheria is one of the easiest
-things you can get. Anybody can get it!”
-
-It looked like a mighty good plan to me. Me and Swatty went on talking
-about it and the more we talked the better it was. We talked about how
-long it would be after Bony got exposed to it before he would really
-have it and Swatty said that wouldn't matter. All Bony would have to do
-would be to go right down to Markses and get exposed and then hurry home
-and tell his mother. The divorce would stop right away and wouldn't have
-to wait until he was sick in bed before it stopped. So then I said that,
-anyway, Bony's father would send for the bicycle right away, because
-fathers always hurry up to get things when their boys are good and sick.
-It was all bully and fine and me and Swatty felt pretty good about it,
-but Bony spoke up.
-
-“I ain't going to get diphtheria!” he said.
-
-Well, that's the way some fellows are! You go and work your brains all
-to pieces thinking up things to help them out of their troubles and then
-they say something like that. We saw it wasn't any use to coax him.
-If we wanted to stop the divorce we would have to do it another way. I
-said:
-
-“I know the preacher that Bony's mother goes to the church of.”
-
-“Well, what's that got to do with it?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Well, couldn't we tell him about it and get him to stop the divorce?
-When Jim Carter wouldn't marry our cook my father told the Catholic
-priest and he made Jim Carter marry her as easy as pie.”
-
-“That's no good,” Swatty said. “That was marrying. That's what priests
-and preachers are for--marrying folks together--they ain't for diworcing
-them apart again. If it was somebody I wanted to have married together
-of course I'd have thought of a preacher right away. You don't think I'm
-so dumb as not to have thought of that, do you? But this ain't marrying
-them together, it's keeping them married together; it's keeping them
-from diworcing apart.” Then, all at once he said, “Garsh!”
-
-“What are you garshing about?” I asked him.
-
-“Garsh!” he said again. “I guess I am dumb! I guess I ought to let a
-mule kick me! I ought to have thought of it right off!”
-
-“Thought of what, Swatty?”
-
-“Why, the judge! You, talking about preachers and priests and all them
-and not thinking of the judge! It's a judge that always diworces people
-apart, ain't it? Well, what we've got to do is see the judge and tell
-him not to diworce Bony's folks apart!”
-
-“Come on! We'll go see the judge and tell him not to diworce Bony's
-folks apart.”
-
-Well, I guess we didn't think when we started how we would do it. We
-just started.
-
-When we got down to the court-house, where the judge stays, I didn't
-feel so much like doing it and Bony didn't feel like doing it at all. It
-was different when we got down there than it was when we were sitting
-on the grass under my apple tree. All along the front edge of the front
-porch of the court-house were big pillars and each pillar was as big
-around as twenty boys standing in a lump would be. So me and Bony we
-sort of peeked into the hall and went out on the porch again, but Swatty
-went right inside. So we sort of frowned at Swatty and shouted in a
-whisper: “Aw! come on, Swatty! Let's go home.”
-
-But Swatty spoke right out, as if he wasn't afraid of the court-house at
-all.
-
-“Aw, come on!” he said. “What are you afraid of?”
-
-I wouldn't have talked out loud like that for anything. His voice came
-back in echoes: “Aw-waw-come-um-um-on-non-non!” Like that. Every word he
-said said itself over and over that way.
-
-But Swatty, when we didn't come, went down the hall and when he found an
-open door he went right in. He asked for the judge. We looked into the
-hall and we saw Swatty come out of the door he had gone in at and we saw
-him go up the wide stairs and push open the green door at the head
-of the stairs and go in. After a while he came out again and came
-downstairs and out on the porch.
-
-“Did you see him?” I asked.
-
-“No,” he said. “I'd ought to have remembered that this was Saturday.
-Judges don't have court on Saturday; they go fishing.”
-
-So then Bony began to cry. He leaned against one of the big pillars and
-began to snigger like a little kid that's lost, and then he turned his
-face to the pillar and I guess he bawled to himself. I guess he had sort
-of thought Swatty would have everything fixed so there wouldn't be any
-divorce when he came from the judge's room and it disappointed him. So
-Swatty said: “Aw! shut up your bellerin'! We ain't going to let your
-folks get diworced, are we? You make me sick, acting like we was. I
-guess me and George knows what we are going to do, don't we, George?” So
-I says, “Yes; what is it?”
-
-Well, Swatty knew just what we were going to do; and so did I, after he
-told me. We were going to go to the judge where he was fishing and tell
-him not to divorce Bony's folks. And that was all right because Bony's
-mother was afraid of the water and wouldn't ride in a rowboat and so
-even if she wanted to get divorced quick she couldn't be until the judge
-came back from fishing. So then I said:
-
-“Aw! there ain't no fishing when the water is so high in the river!”
-
-“Aw! who told you so much?” Swatty said. “You think you know all the
-kinds of fishing there is, don't you? Well, I guess you don't! I guess
-me and the judge knows more kinds of fishing than you do.”
-
-So we walked down to the river and Swatty told us. It was buffalo
-fishing you do with a pitchfork. I guess you know what kind of a fish a
-buffalo is. At first nobody ate buffalo fish but niggers, and they ate
-dogfish, too, but pretty soon the fishmarket men got so they shipped
-buffalo fish to Chicago and everywhere just like they shipped catfish.
-But nobody in our town ate them but niggers, because they tasted of mud.
-Maybe the Chicago people liked to taste mud.
-
-Well, anyway, the buffalo fish eat grass or roots or something and in
-the spring, when the river is high and up over the bottoms, the buffalo
-fish swim up to wherever the edge of the river has gone in the grass and
-weeds and sometimes they swim in so close that their backs stick out
-of water and they sort of swim on their bellies in the mud--dozens and
-hundreds of them, big fat fellows. So then the farmer can't plough yet,
-because it is too muddy in the fields, and they get their farm wagons
-and some pitchforks and drive down to the river. Then they separate
-apart and wade out and come together again when' they are out about
-waist deep and they wade in toward shore and the buffalo fish are
-between them and the shore. Then the farmers go with a rush and the
-buffalo fish get scared. Some of them get so scared they try to swim
-right up on shore on their bellies, and some try to swim out into deep
-water, but whatever they try to do the farmers just pitchfork them up
-onto shore. Wagon loads of them! So, before the Chicago folks got to
-like buffalo fish, the farmers chopped the buffalo fish into bits and
-ploughed them into the ground to make things grow better, but now they
-mostly hauled them to town and sold them to the fishmarket men for one
-and one half cents a pound. So that was where the judge was. He was
-over to a farmer's named Shebberd, in Illinois, because he had never
-pitchforked buffalo fish before and he wanted to do it once and see what
-it was like.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony knew where Shebberd's was, because when you were
-over in Illinois you could get a drink of water there.
-
-I guess it was almost a mile across the river and then it was almost
-five miles back to Shebberd's bottom land cornfield. We got a skiff at
-the boathouse and me and Swatty and Bony rowed across the river. The
-water was mighty high and the current was everywhere and not just in one
-place, and it was strong. Bony sat in the stem and me and Swatty rowed
-and we had to row almost straight up-stream. It was hard work. My wrists
-swelled up and got hot and tight but we kept thinking about the divorce
-we didn't want Bony's folks to get and we kept on rowing. Even with the
-boat pointed almost straight up-stream we were about half a mile below
-where we started, when we reached the Illinois side and rowed in among
-the trees. It was easier there; not so much current.
-
-It was fine rowing through the trees, seeing everything, and nothing
-looking like it usually does. We came to the First Slough and it was
-just water--like a road of water between the trees--and we kept on
-rowing and came to the Second Slough and the Third Slough and they were
-like that, too, and then we came out of the trees and we were in a whale
-of a lot of water. Bony said, “Oh!” and Swatty looked over his shoulder
-and said, “Garsh!” and stopped rowing. It looked like miles and miles of
-water--water we had never seen before--and all at once you felt little
-and lost and sort of frightened.
-
-“Garsh!” Swatty said. “I was never here before.”
-
-“Where is it?” I asked.
-
-Swatty looked all around.
-
-“I don't know,” he said. “I never heard of a place like this.”
-
-“Swatty!” I said.
-
-“What?”
-
-“Let's go home!”
-
-I guess I sort of whined it, and so Bony began to cry. Swatty stood up
-and let his oars rest and looked all around. He looked anxious and when
-Swatty looked anxious it was time to be frightened. Anyway, I thought
-so.
-
-When Swatty had looked all around and didn't know any more than he did
-before, he sat down and looked over the edge of the boat at the water.
-So I did it.
-
-“What do you see, Swatty?” I asked, because I was afraid he saw
-something to be frightened of. But what he saw was little flecks of
-leaves and things floating by in the water the way dust floats in the
-sunlight, and the reason he looked was so he could see which way the
-current was running, because no matter where we were we wanted to row
-up-stream. We had gone into the woods below the bottom road and when the
-water was as high as it was now the bottom road either made a dam across
-the bottom or the water came over it like a waterfall or rushed through
-in a rapids nobody could row up. So Swatty knew we couldn't have passed
-the bottom road but must be below it somewhere and the place we wanted
-to be at was just where the bottom road hit the hill, so what we had to
-do--wherever we were then--was to row up-stream. So we rowed. We rowed I
-don't know how far and all at once Bony said:
-
-“Look out! you're rowing into something!”
-
-Me and Swatty backed water as quick as we could and looked over our
-shoulders. What we had nearly rowed into was a pile of sticks and a heap
-of dried grass. It was a good deal as if somebody had chucked a couple
-of forks full of hay on a lot of driftwood and set it adrift.
-
-“There's something alive in it!” Bony sort of shivered.
-
-Swatty looked and I looked.
-
-“Mush-rat's house!” Swatty said right away, and it was. It was the kind
-the mush-rats make so that when a flood comes it will float and not
-sink, and there it was right out in the middle of the lake we were lost
-in.
-
-Then all at once Swatty said: “Say!”
-
-Gee, but he scared me!
-
-“What, Swatty?” I asked.
-
-“Say!” he said; “we're floating away from that mush-rat house and it
-ain't floating with us. I never heard of a mush-rat house out in the
-middle of a lake, with a current floating by, that didn't float with the
-current!”
-
-“Are you scared, Swatty?” I asked, for if he was scared I didn't know
-what I would be.
-
-“No, I ain't scared,” he said, “but it ain't right. It ain't possible,
-that's all! I bet this is a haunted lake. I bet there is a haunted house
-around here, or an ol' witch, or something.”
-
-“Come on, let's get out of it, then. Let's row!”
-
-I said.
-
-“You bet I'll row!” Swatty said, and we did. We steered off to one
-side of the mush-rat's house and rowed hard. We had a good double-ender
-skiff, rounded bottom and not flat bottom, and we made her hump! All of
-a sudden Swatty's left oar came out of the oarlock and he nearly fell
-backwards into the bottom of the boat. He got up and slapped the oar
-back into the oarlock and we both rowed hard.
-
-“We ain't moving!”
-
-Bony said that. He was hanging onto the sides of the skiff with both
-hands, looking scared and white, and you never heard anybody say
-anything the way he said that! It was like he had seen a ghost. Me and
-Swatty stopped rowing and looked. About twenty feet away from us was
-that old mush-rat house and we could see a little ripple of water on
-the upper side of it but it wasn't moving and we weren't floating away
-from it. There was the same kind of ripple against the bow of our boat.
-
-We rowed again and we rowed hard and the skiff didn't move! There we
-were, out in the middle of that haunted lake, or whatever it was, and no
-bottom that you could reach with an oar, and we couldn't row up-stream
-and we didn't float downstream. And over yonder was a mush-rat's house
-just like we were. It sure looked like we were in a haunted lake and I
-didn't blame Bony for being scared and crying. I was scared myself. It
-looked like we were in a haunted lake we could not row out of and that
-we might have to stay there forever.
-
-“Well, garsh!” Swatty said, “we rowed up here, we ought to be good and
-able to row back where we come from.” So we swung the skiff around and
-rowed down-current. No good! We didn't move at all. Or we just moved a
-foot or two.
-
-It wasn't like when you run up on a snag or a rock. It wasn't stiff
-like that. We floated all right but we couldn't go anywhere.
-
-“Listen!” Swatty said.
-
-Away off far we heard voices and splashing, sounding the way things
-sound when you hear them across water. Swatty shouted. “Hello!” he
-shouted, and his voice came back to him, “Lo-wo-wo!” in an echo, the way
-echoes do.
-
-“All right!” he said. “Now we know where the Illinois hills are, anyway.
-That's the way they echo back at you, so they must be over there. And I
-bet those men splashing in the water are after buffalo with pitchforks.
-So that's where we want to row.” That was pretty fine, wasn't it, when
-we couldn't row at all? I told Swatty so. I said we'd better shout and
-have the men come and get us. Swatty said they'd just think it was kids
-shouting for fun; and I guess that's what they did think, for we shouted
-and shouted, and when we quit we could still hear the men laughing and
-talking and splashing. So then Swatty sat down and put his head in his
-hands and thought. When we looked up he said:
-
-“Do you believe in haunts and things?”
-
-“I don't know,” I said. “Do you?”
-
-“I don't know, either,” Swatty said. “Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but
-I know one thing: I ain't going to believe in them until I have to. I
-ain't going to believe this boat is 'witched here until I know it ain't
-stuck here some other way. I'm going to find out.”
-
-“How?” I asked.
-
-“Well, if we're stuck we're stuck on something under the water and
-that's sure, and I'm going to skin off my clothes and find out.”
-
-So he did. I wouldn't have done it for a million dollars and I tried to
-make him not, but he did it. He took off his clothes and lowered himself
-over the side of the boat and said, garsh! how cold it was! So then he
-edged himself along, holding onto the side of the boat and all at once
-he swore.
-
-“What?” me and Bony both asked at once.
-
-“Bob wire!” he said, and he let go with one hand and felt down into
-the water. Then he took hold of the boat with both hands and felt along
-under the boat with his feet. “It's a post,” he said. “It's a bob-wire
-fence.”
-
-So that was what it was. There was a bob-wire fence and we had
-rowed right on top of one of the posts and stuck there, on a nail or
-something, and the post was loose in the mud and gave when we rowed, so
-we couldn't wrench loose by rowing. And that was why the mush-rat house
-did not float downstream; it was caught on another post. So all at once
-Swatty said:
-
-“I know where we are; we're in Shebberd's lower cornfield!” And that was
-where we were. The water had come up and covered it up to the tops of
-the bob-wire fence posts.
-
-Well, Swatty's teeth were chattering but he wouldn't get right into the
-boat. He made me and Bony row while he was out, and I guess with the
-boat lighter it floated off the post easier, for it did float off. So
-then Swatty got in and dressed and we rowed toward the voices and the
-splashing.
-
-It was Judge Hannan all right. He was pitch-forking buffalo fish with
-the Shebberds. He had on rubber hip boots and he was hot and having a
-good time. We rowed in close to where he was and watched them pitchfork
-awhile and then Swatty backwatered the skiff up to where the judge was
-standing and said:
-
-“Say, mister judge!”
-
-The judge leaned his hand on the stem of the boat and said:
-
-“Yes, my lad, what is it?”
-
-“Are you the judge that gives diworces?”
-
-“I'm the one that don't give them unless I have to, son,” the judge
-laughed. “Looking for one? You don't look as if you had reached that age
-and state yet.”
-
-“It ain't mine,” Swatty said. “It's Bony's folkses. They're having a
-fight and they're going to get a diworce and me and Georgie and Bony
-don't want them to. So we rowed over to tell you not to give them one.”
-
-The judge felt in his pocket and got out his spectacles and put them on
-and looked at us. He asked which was Bony and then he knew who Bony was
-and that he knew Bony's folks. He said he did.
-
-“And you don't want any divorces in your family, hey?” he said. “Why
-not?”
-
-Bony didn't say anything, so Swatty started to tell about the bicycle,
-but before he got very far Bony just doubled over and put his head on
-his knees and began to beller like a real baby. So the judge stopped
-Swatty.
-
-“Son,” he said to Swatty, “I guess you've mistooken the proper legal
-grounds for not giving divorces. The desire of a youth to learn to ride
-one of the condemned things when he is related to the separating parties
-only by neighborhood is not sufficient to sway the court. But you, son,”
- he said to Bony, “have got exactly the right idea. You've swayed this
-old, bald-headed court right down to the mud he's standing in and, so
-help me John Joseph Rogers! if those two parents of yours get a divorce
-it will only be over my dead body! Hey, Sheb! can these kids go up to
-your house and get some buttermilk?”
-
-So I said I didn't like buttermilk and the judge said: “Caesar's ghost!
-I didn't mean get it for you; I meant get it for us!”
-
-So we got it. So Bony's folks didn't get a divorce. Anyway, if they
-did they didn't separate apart from each other and that was all me and
-Swatty cared for because Herb Schwartz wouldn't be scared to marry Fan,
-and maybe we could hurry up the wedding and get the tricycle sooner.
-
-
-
-
-IV. THE STUMP
-
-Well, you never can tell how things are going to go in this world, I
-guess. I don't mean that I spent all my time thinking how getting the
-tricycle with two seats would make Mamie Little think more of me than
-she thought of Toady Williams, because I didn't. I had school and my
-chores and me and Swatty and Bony was building a capstan in our side
-yard, to pull up stumps and move houses if we wanted to, but once in a
-while I did think how I would ride up to Mamie Little's front gate on
-the tricycle and say, “Say! wanta take a ride?”
-
-It looked as if it wouldn't be long before Herb and Fan got married,
-because they hadn't fought for a long while and Fan was embroidering
-towels by day and by night. One reason it all looked good was that Miss
-Murphy, who was my teacher and had had Herb for a while, had gone away
-for a while and Miss Carter was substituting for her in our room. So Fan
-needn't be jealous of Miss Murphy any more.
-
-So I felt pretty good mostly but I was feeling pretty mean this day,
-because Swatty and Bony had been let out on time and Miss Carter had
-kept me in after school. I was feeling mean because they would be
-working on the capstan, and it was the day we thought we would get it
-finished and begin capstaning things with it, and I wouldn't be home
-when they got it done. I wanted to be there when they started to use
-it. So that made me feel mean one way, and teacher made me feel meaner,
-another way.
-
-I liked Miss Carter better than any teacher I ever had. So all I did
-was not know my geography-lesson, or my arithmetic-lesson or my
-grammar-lesson, or my history, and I missed in spelling. I guess maybe I
-read all right, because she didn't say I didn't, but maybe she forgot to
-talk about that because she was so busy saying my deportment was bad and
-it was certainly an outrage that my copy-book was so poorly kept. So she
-kept me in to study, and it was four o'clock pretty soon, and she put
-her papers in her desk and shut down the lid and came back to my seat.
-Everybody else had gone home. I was sort of scared. I thought she was
-going to say her patience was exhausted and then whale me with the
-rawhide she kept in the closet.
-
-But she didn't. She came back to where I was, and when she got to my
-seat she sat down in it beside me and I had to move over so she would
-have room. I guess I ought to have put my hands in my pockets, but of
-course I didn't know what she was going to do, and the first thing she
-did was to put her left hand on top of my hand and hold it, like that,
-on top of my desk. So I tried to pull it away, but she held on. So then
-she put her arm--her right arm--along the desk back of me, and I felt
-mighty mean. A boy don't like to be armed around that way, or his hand
-held like that.
-
-“George,” she said, “what is it? Why are you acting the way you are? Are
-you doing it to try to distress me?”
-
-Well, I couldn't say anything to that, could I? I just looked at the top
-of the desk and moved my feet around.
-
-“Tell me!” she said as if she wasn't mad at all but as if she was
-sorry. “I can't understand it. It is no use for you to pretend you can't
-learn your lessons, for I have seen that it is no trouble at all for
-you, when you want to. And you are such a naturally good, well-behaved
-boy at heart--why are you trying to act as if you were not? Are you
-doing it to distress me?”
-
-I guess I sort of said “No!” I don't know what I did say. I felt pretty
-bad, with my hand held like that and her arm right there and liable to
-get around my shoulders the way she does to the girls when she's fond of
-them and they disappoint her and she has a talk with them and makes them
-cry.
-
-“Then what is it, George?” she asked.
-
-Well, you can't blat right out and say nothing is the matter only you
-don't feel like learning any old lessons or anything, can you? There
-wasn't anything the matter. I didn't have it in for teacher or anything.
-I just didn't feel like learning any lessons about then, and it was mean
-of teacher to let on I was doing things because I didn't like her or
-something. So I didn't say anything. I sort of scrooged down in my seat
-so she couldn't put her arm around me any more than it was.
-
-“Is it Mamie Little?” she asked then, all of a sudden.
-
-That was an awful mean thing to say, and I guess she knew it was,
-because when a fellow has a girl he don't want anybody to know it or
-talk about it. He'll fight any fellow that says it, but he can't fight
-his teacher when she says it.
-
-“I think it must be Mamie Little, George,” she said next, “because
-I have noticed you keep your eyes on her more than you do on your
-lessons.”
-
-That made me squirm, I guess! But that wasn't the worst. She wasn't
-hardly started.
-
-“I don't blame you for liking Mamie, George,” she said. “She is a sweet
-child and I love her, too, and I am glad you are fond of her; but don't
-you think she would like you better if you learned your lessons and
-behaved in a manner she could admire, instead of trying to attract her
-attention by smarty tricks? Don't you think a boy with your ability
-should try to impress her by his excellence rather than by his smarty
-tricks?”
-
-Gee! I felt mean! Running a fellow's girl in on him like that! I was
-so ashamed all over that I couldn't move. I didn't dare to move even a
-finger. I couldn't do anything but swallow.
-
-“Now, we won't say anything more about it,” she said, and she patted my
-hand! “You know how much I like you, George, and how proud I usually am
-of you, and I think Mamie is fond of you, too. I don't think you need to
-be a smarty to attract her. If you don't care to do it for me, George,
-tell me you will try to learn your lessons and behave better on Mamie's
-account. You will, won't you? Say you will!”
-
-I guess I tried to say I would, but I couldn't even swallow. I didn't
-know how I'd even get away from there, because Miss Carter might stay
-until I said I would or something, and I couldn't work my voice: it had
-dried up, I guess. But I didn't have to say anything. Miss Carter put
-her hand on my head and let it stay there a minute, and then she smiled
-and jumped up as if everything was fixed and I had said I would, and she
-said: “All right, George; you can go home.” And I went, you bet.
-
-Well, that settled Miss Carter with me! She had been one of the three
-women I thought were dandy, because the other two were my mother and my
-grandmother that everybody calls “Ladylove” because she is so dear, but
-after that I was done with Miss Carter. Anybody that would talk to a
-fellow about his girl as if she _was_ his girl! I guessed maybe I would
-n't go back to school any more unless I could get transferred to another
-teacher's room.
-
-So I felt pretty mean and sore and everything when I got home, and I
-started around to the side yard, where Swatty and Bony were finishing
-the capstan, and all at once my mother came to the end of the porch and
-pulled the vines aside and said:
-
-“George, come here!”
-
-I tried to think what I had done to make her say it like that, but I
-couldn't, only a fellow is always doing something, so it didn't matter
-much what it was. I went around and onto the porch.
-
-“Yes, ma'am,” I said.
-
-“George,” my mother said in the way they call severe, “Mrs. Martin was
-here.”
-
-“Yes'm,” I said, for I didn't know what else to say, because I didn't
-know why Mrs. Martin had been there. I knew who Mrs. Martin was and
-where she lived, because she was the lady that had the lame boy that
-would never grow up but would always be about five years old. He was
-thirteen years old, and he played with a rag doll and always stayed
-in his yard, but sometimes he looked out between the fence-pickets.
-Sometimes when I went downtown on errands and got a nickel for it and
-bought some candy, I'd give him a piece when I went by, and so would
-Swatty and so would Bony. Sometimes he'd say, “Where you get that ball?
-I want it!” just like a little baby, and if we didn't give it to him,
-he'd cry, but we couldn't give him our ball, could we? So when we went
-by his house we hid anything he might cry for, so he wouldn't cry for
-it. That was all I knew about Mrs. Martin, only she was a widow and she
-was cross sometimes. Anyway, sometimes she looked cross.
-
-“George,” my mother said--and I guess she never spoke to me any sadder
-than she did then--“Mrs. Martin told me something I would never have
-believed of my boy. I have always thought you were a kind-hearted,
-considerate boy. Oh, George, why--why did you strike that poor, helpless
-little cripple?”
-
-“I did not! I didn't do any such thing! It ain't so!” I said, because I
-knew she meant I had hit Sammy Martin.
-
-My mother sort of threw out her hand.
-
-“Don't!” she said. “It is enough without that. It is enough to be a
-bully without being a liar. Mrs. Martin has told me--”
-
-“I ain't a liar!” I said, because I was so mad I could have cried. “If
-she said that, she's a liar; that's what she is!”
-
-Well, I oughtn't to have called a lady that, or anybody, but I was so
-mad I didn't think. I wasn't thinking about how I said it, and when a
-fellow's mother looks at him the way my mother was looking at me, and
-won't believe him when he's telling the truth, what's he going to do? I
-guess my mother was feeling pretty bad herself or she wouldn't have said
-any such thing to me as that I was one. Because I wasn't one! Not about
-that! I had never hit Sammy Martin. I had never done anything to him but
-give him candy once in a while.
-
-“George!” said my mother, and she was sad about it, as if she was now
-quite hopeless about me.
-
-Then she went on, as quietly as if we were at a funeral:
-
-“That poor child's mother came here to beg me to protect her child
-against you--to beg me to ask you not to harm him again! You called him
-to the fence and struck him across the face with a stick or a switch.
-Oh, don't deny it! She has seen you coax him to the fence before and
-give him candy, and when he came crying to her with a welt rising on
-his poor face, he told her you had done it. And I thought you were--I
-thought--”
-
-So then she cried, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and
-feel--oh, I don't know how I felt! I guess I had never felt like that in
-my life. It wasn't so, and I knew it wasn't so, and nobody would ever
-believe it wasn't so. I couldn't do anything but stand there and wish
-I was dead or grown up or something. I just stood and looked down, and
-once in a while I blinked. So then, after a while, my mother wiped her
-eyes and walked past me without saying anything or looking at me and
-went into the house, and I stood there awhile and then I sort of turned
-and went to the edge of the porch and sneaked around to the back yard.
-It wasn't fair to think such things of me when they were not so, and
-I felt awful bad. I never wanted to see my mother again. So then Swatty
-saw me and shouted.
-
-“Come on!” he yelled. “We've got her done! She's a dandy!”
-
-So I ran to where the capstan was, and she was a dandy!
-
-I guess you know what capstans are--the things they use in moving
-houses? In Riverbank they move a lot of houses, because people are
-always wanting to build other houses where houses already are, and you
-can't move a house without a capstan. They have them on boats, too, but
-not quite the same kind. The house-moving kind is like a square box,
-without sides. In the middle, up and down, is a kind of roller that the
-rope rolls onto, and the roller has to stick up above the top of the box
-so there can be a place to stick a pole into to turn the roller. When
-they move houses they set the capstan in the middle of the street a long
-way from the house, and carry a rope back and fasten it to the house,
-and then a horse that is fastened to the pole walks around and around
-the capstan, stepping over the rope every time he passes it, and winds
-up the rope, and that pulls the house. Only we didn't have any horse,
-so we thought maybe we'd use Swatty's cow. But we didn't. We turned the
-capstan ourselves. All the time we were making the capstan Swatty said
-the cow would turn it, but when we got it done he said:
-
-“Who ever heard of a cow turning a capstan?”
-
-“I did,” I said. “In the Bible-book there is a picture of a cow turning
-a capstan.”
-
-“Well, that ain't the same thing,” Swatty said. “That's a Bible-cow, and
-ours is part Alderney and part Holstein.”
-
-“And this isn't any cow-capstan, anyway,” Bony said. “A cow couldn't
-work this capstan, because a cow has two toes, and she'd get the rope
-caught between her toes and fall and kill herself.”
-
-“Whose cow are you saying would fall and kill herself--my cow?” Swatty
-asked, the way he did when he meant: “Take it back or I'll lick you!”
- Then he says: “You'd better not say my cow would fall and kill herself.
-If my cow couldn't step over a rope without getting it between her toes,
-I'd take her and kill her.”
-
-“Aw, you would not!” I said.
-
-“Yes, I would, too!” Swatty said. “We had a cow once that couldn't step
-over a rope without getting it between her toes, and my father took her
-down to the river and killed her. You needn't say we'd have a cow that
-can't step over a rope--”
-
-“I never said it,” I said.
-
-“Well, if you didn't say it, who did say it, I'd like to know,” Swatty
-asked. “Bony didn't say it and you'd better not say he said it, because
-he came over and helped me finish the capstan, and you stayed in school
-and let us do it.”
-
-“I didn't stay in school; I was kept in.”
-
-“Well, you say you was, but I don't have to believe it, do I?”
- Swatty said. “I don't have to believe everything you say just because
-I'm--because I'm in your yard, do I?”
-
-Well, I saw Swatty wanted a fight, and I wanted a fight anyway. I felt
-like it. So I said; “Who are you calling a liar?”
-
-I went up close to him, and he went up close to me; and then I pushed
-him and he pushed me back; and then I hit him and he hit me back. And
-when he had me down and asked me if I had had enough and got off of me,
-we went ahead with the capstan. I wasn't hurt _anywhere_ except on the
-inside of my cheek, where a tooth cut it.
-
-The capstan was a good one. Swatty showed how it worked, and pushed the
-pole around, and it worked fine. So then I got my sled out of the barn,
-where it had been since last winter, and we took turns being pulled on
-the sled. So then we wished we had a house to move, but there wasn't
-any house or building we dared move. I bet we could have done it. So we
-looked for something we couldn't move without a capstan, so we could use
-the capstan to move it. There is no use having a capstan if you haven't
-anything to do with it. You might just as well not have made one. So I
-said:
-
-“I'll tell you! Let's pull up the old stump that's in our front yard!”
-
-“All right--let's!” Swatty said.
-
-We had a lot of trees in our yard--a big silver poplar in the back yard
-that was twice as big around as a barrel, and a yellow-mellow apple,
-and a Benoni apple, and a black-heart cherry, and a row of pines leading
-down to the gate, and big maples inside the fence, and maybe some more.
-There were trees all over town, lots of them, and you would have thought
-there had always been trees, but I guess that isn't so. People planted
-them. When people came to Riverbank and made a town of it, they planted
-the trees because there were none when they came, and I guess they
-liked it better with trees growing than when it was all bare. I know my
-grandmother did.
-
-My grandmother was an old, old woman, and she lived with us because the
-house had been built by my grandfather, and my grandfather had planted
-the trees. That was a long time before I was ever born. We called my
-grandmother “Ladylove,” because I guess that is what my grandfather
-called her. Nobody ever called her anything else but Ladylove, not
-“Gran'ma” or anything like that.
-
-I guess nobody ever loved trees the way she loved them. I guess she was
-always sorry she had come away from Pennsylvania where there are lots of
-trees and hills. Sometimes, early in the morning, she would come out on
-the porch and look up and say, “I lift up mine eyes to the hills!” and
-then she would sigh and shake her head. That was because there was no
-hills in Riverbank when she lifted? up her eyes from our porch, and I
-guess she was thinking of the hills in Pennsylvania, because when she
-was a girl and lived there, there were always hills to lift up her eyes
-to--hills that were covered with trees.
-
-That was the way my grandmother Ladylove was, as old as old, and nobody
-ever loved trees the way she did. She liked boys too. She liked all the
-boys that ever came to play with me. She was the only one that never
-scolded me. Plenty of times when we had fresh cookies and nobody was to
-touch a single one until the next day, Ladylove would see us playing in
-the yard and she would come out with a china plate with a napkin on it
-piled up with cookies. Then she would say a verse of poetry and give us
-the cookies and go into the house just as happy as could be. Sometimes
-she would forget she had brought us any and would come right out with
-another plateful and say the poetry over again and be just as happy over
-that one as she was over the other.
-
-When I said, “Let's pull the old stump that's in the front yard,” I
-didn't think anything but that it would be a good thing to pull. I
-didn't even know it had ever _been_ a tree; it had always been a stump
-since I was a little bit of a kid, anyway. It wasn't much of a stump
-any more. It was only about as high as my knee, and right at the ground
-it was only as big around as a man's knee. Once I had a little hatchet,
-but it wouldn't cut much, but I chopped the stump with it. I could only
-chop off a little splinter at a time, and I never got much off. It only
-made the stump raggedy at the top. It was just an old stump that wasn't
-worth anything and wasn't any good to anybody.
-
-Swatty and Bony and me started to move the capstan into the front yard
-where the stump was. It was so heavy we could hardly wiggle it, so after
-we had moved it an inch or two I said:
-
-“Aw! we can't move it!”
-
-So Bony said the same thing; but Swatty stood and looked at the capstan
-awhile, and then he said: “Yes, we can move it, too! We can make it move
-itself.”
-
-“How can we?”
-
-“You come ahead and I'll show you,” he said; and he did. He drove a
-stake into the ground about as far as our capstan rope would reach, and
-fastened the rope to it. Then he made Bony turn the capstan pole, and
-that wound up the rope, and the capstan just had to move toward the
-stake. When we got it to the stake we knocked the stake out with an
-axe and put it in again farther along. That way we moved the capstan to
-where we wanted it. Swatty thought of how to do it.
-
-So then we had the capstan in the front yard, and we tied the rope
-around the old stump and tried to pull it, but the capstan just moved
-up to the stump. So Swatty said he knew what was the matter and that we
-were all crazy because we didn't think of it before, and that all the
-house-movers, when they were moving houses, drove stakes in front of
-their capstans to keep them from moving, and stakes behind them to keep
-them from tipping up.
-
-We got some stakes and did it. Swatty drove the stakes because he was
-strongest, and anyway, he knew how to swing an axe, because he had
-often studied how the circus roughnecks swung them. Anyway he said he
-had. He said he had sat for over an hour and just studied how they swung
-axes at stakes and that then he asked one roughneck to let him try
-it, and he did, and he drove over a hundred. He said that while he was
-driving stakes Mr. Barnum came out of the big tent and watched him, and
-that he liked the way he was driving stakes so well that he offered him
-a hundred dollars a year just to drive stakes for the circus. So I asked
-Swatty if he took up the offer, and he said he did. He said he went with
-the circus all over the United States, driving stakes, and that he drove
-so many he got so he could drive a stake with one blow. So then he said
-he went to Mr. Bamum and asked him to pay him two hundred dollars a
-year, but Mr. Bamum said he couldn't afford it. He said Swatty was worth
-two hundred dollars a year but the show couldn't afford it. So, Swatty
-said, he came home. That's what Swatty said, but I didn't hardly believe
-it. But, anyway, we had to let him drive the stakes.
-
-Well, the stump didn't come out as easy as we had thought it would. It
-was pretty rotten, and it pulled off piece by piece, but the inside was
-tough. Our rope was old, too, and broke nearly every time we tautened
-it. But it was good fun, anyway. We took turns turning the capstan pole.
-One would turn and the other would keep the rope on the stump and the
-other would be boss and shout, “Whoa! Get up! Whoa there, you!” A lot
-of boys came and looked through the picket fence and wished we would let
-them come in and help us capstan the stump, but we wouldn't. What's the
-use of having something somebody else hasn't got, if you are going to
-let them have it too?
-
-Pretty soon we got the stump all pulled. There was only a hole where it
-had been and the rotted wood was scattered around on the grass, and we
-felt pretty good about it, because nobody wants old stumps sticking up
-in their yards. Swatty said maybe my father would give me a quarter for
-pulling the stump and I thought maybe he would, too. We all felt as if
-we had done something pretty fine, and I wished I could go and get my
-mother and have her come out and see how good our capstan was and have
-her say, “Why, that's fine, Georgie! I'll have your father give you
-a quarter when he comes home.” But I remembered about Mrs. Martin. I
-remembered that my mother would probably never think anything I ever did
-again was any good at all. So I didn't call her.
-
-Just then Ladylove--my grandmother--came out of the side door. She stood
-a moment on the top step, looking, and then she came down to the grass
-and started toward us. She had a plate in her hand, and there were
-graham crackers on it, because there were no cookies that day. I guess
-she heard us shouting and thought we would like some graham crackers,
-because we were boys.
-
-As soon as I saw her I jumped and ran toward her, because she was some
-one we could show what we had done.
-
-“Come here, Ladylove,” I shouted. “Come on, we want to show you what we
-did with our capstan!”
-
-“Yes! yes!” she said.
-
-So I took the plate of crackers, and with the other hand I sort of
-steadied her elbow, because our yard wasn't very smooth and she didn't
-walk very steady or very fast. We came to where the capstan was, and she
-steadied herself with one hand on it.
-
-“There!” I said. “See what we did, Ladylove! We pulled that old tree
-stump right out of the ground. We got rid of that old stump all right!”
-
-Ladylove stood quiet so long that I got frightened. She looked up at the
-sky and when she looked down at me there were tears in her eyes. I could
-see them.
-
-“My tree! My beautiful tree!” she said. “Ah, Georgie, could you kill my
-tree?” And then she closed her eyes and held out her hands and said:
-
- “Degenerate Douglas! Oh, the unworthy lord!
- Whom mere despite of heart could so far please
- To level with the dust a noble horde,
- A brotherhood of venerable trees!”
-
-It wasn't a horde of trees at all, nothing but an old rotten stump and
-no good to anybody, but I felt awful bad about it as soon as she spoke
-that poetry--not because the old stump was any good but because my
-grandmother was so old and seemed to think so much of the old stump.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony just stood and didn't know what to say. We wished
-she had scolded us or something instead of feeling that way.
-
-“Gone! Gone!” she said, letting her hands fall, as if that old stump was
-the only thing she ever cared for. “Gone!”
-
- “It is not now as it has been of yore;
- Turn wheresoe'er I may,
- By night or day,
- The things which I have seen
- I now can see no more!”
-
-Well, we couldn't say anything, could we, when she felt like that? We
-could just feel mean. It didn't matter that we knew it was just an old,
-rotten, no good stump, because she thought it was a tree and that we had
-cut it down. She shook her head, and then:
-
- “Some they have died, and some they have left me,
- And some are taken from me; all are departed;
- All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.”
-
-So then she turned and walked away with her head bent down and the tears
-running down her cheeks, and I stood there with the plate of graham
-crackers in my hand and didn't know what to do or what to say, and
-Bony stood and looked kind of scared. I didn't dare look after my
-grandmother. I just felt mean and sneaky and ashamed and sort of
-miserable about everything, because I knew she thought I had done it
-when I knew I oughtn't to have done it. At the step of the side door
-she stopped and looked back and then went into the house, all old and
-sad-looking. I guessed I had broken her heart, she felt so bad about it.
-
-So then Bony started to go home. He didn't say anything, but he sort of
-edged off as if he wanted to sneak away and get out of any trouble I was
-in. Swatty spoke right up.
-
-“You come back here!” he said. “You come back, or I'll show you!”
-
-I was glad to have anybody say anything, even that.
-
-“Aw, I got to go home,” Bony said. But he came back. He knew what Swatty
-would do to him if he didn't. So then Swatty made a face at the pieces
-of old stump.
-
-“Garsh!” he said. “Garsh! who'd of thunk anybody cared for that old
-stump? We didn't know Ladylove cared that much for it, did we? Well,
-come on!”
-
-“Come on where?” Bony sort of whined.
-
-“Where do you think?” Swatty asked. “What do I care where? Anywhere we
-can get a tree to plant--that's where. We'll get a big tree, like those
-maple trees, and we'll fetch it here and plant it; that's what we'll
-do! I'll tell you what. We'll take the capstan rope and go out to the
-cow pasture and dig up a big tree and let my cow drag it here. We'll
-play she's a team of oxen.”
-
-Well, we got to fighting about who would drive the team of oxen and who
-would ride on the tree, and we forgot all about being ashamed of pulling
-up the stump. We took a spade and the axe, and went out to the pasture,
-but when we saw how big a big tree was, we guessed we'd get one that
-wasn't so big, and then we guessed we'd get one that wasn't as big
-as that, because Swatty said he didn't want his cow to strain herself
-pulling it. So the one we got wasn't very big, after all, but it was
-more of a tree than that old rotten stump was. It was a willow tree. We
-got a willow tree after we'd tried to dig up the roots of an elm tree.
-Swatty said that a willow tree didn't need any roots.
-
-The cow didn't like pulling a tree very well, but she got used to it
-before we got home--only we couldn't ride on such a little tree. We had
-to take turns being the ox-driver. But we got home all right and dug a
-hole where the old stump had been, and we planted the tree. She looked
-bully. She looked almost like a real tree. So then I went into the house
-to get my grandmother, to show her, so she wouldn't feel so bad about
-the old stump.
-
-I guess she had forgotten all about it. She was sitting by the window,
-reading the limber-backed psalm-book, and when I came in she looked up
-and smiled.
-
-“Come on out in the yard, Ladylove,” I said. “I want to show you what me
-and Bony and Swatty did.”
-
-She closed the psalm-book with her glasses inside and put the book on
-her sewing-table and went with me. I took her right to where the tree
-was.
-
-“There!” I said. “Me and Bony and Swatty planted a new tree for you
-where that old stump was.”
-
-THE STUMP
-
-My grandmother looked at the tree. Her eyes were full of tears again,
-but they weren't the kind that worried me. She held out a hand toward
-the tree and said some more poetry:
-
- “What plant we in this apple tree?
- Buds, which the breath of summer days
- Shall lengthen into leafy sprays;
- Boughs, where the thrush with crimson breast
- Shall haunt and sing and hide her nest.
- We plant upon the sunny lea
- A shadow for the noontide hour,
- A shelter from the summer shower,
- When we plant the apple tree.”
-
-Well, it wasn't an apple tree, but I didn't care, and neither did
-Swatty or Bony. I was just glad because Ladylove was glad, and I guessed
-she knew it wasn't an apple tree, because when you use poetry you have
-to use the kind there is, and it don't always fit. But this one fitted
-close enough to show how happy Ladylove was. She was very happy, and
-when she had said the verses she laughed and kissed Swatty's hand, and
-then Bony's and then mine, and took her skirt in two hands and made us a
-curtsy and went away as happy as anything. I felt pretty good.
-
-So just then my father came home, because it was supper-time. He came
-into the yard, and he walked across the grass to where we were. He
-looked sort of sober, the way fathers do when they want to know what
-their sons have been doing.
-
-“What's that?” he asked, short.
-
-“It's a capstan,” I said. “Me and Bony and Swatty made it.”
-
-“What are you going to do with it?”
-
-“I don't know. Maybe nothing.”
-
-“Hm! And what is this tree doing here?”
-
-“Why--” I said, and then I didn't know what to say.
-
-“Why, there was an old stump here,” said Swatty, “and we pulled it up
-with the capstan, and Ladylove, she came out, and she felt pretty bad--”
- “She couldn't remember it wasn't a tree #ny more,” said Bony.
-
-“And so we went and got a tree and planted it for her,” I said.
-
-My father looked at me. Then he turned away. “Don't do any damage with
-that capstan thing,” he said, and that was all.
-
-Well, nobody said anything at supper, so after supper I went out and sat
-on the porch, and Herb Schwartz had come over to talk with Fan awhile
-and they were there too. So pretty soon my father came out and lighted
-a cigar and gave Herb one. Then my mother came out and I guessed I would
-go into the back yard or somewhere, because I knew she would tell my
-father about what Mrs. Martin had lied about me hurting her crazy boy.
-So I went and sat on the woodshed step awhile, because if my father was
-going to lick me he would do it out there anyway.
-
-But he didn't come, so after a while I went around front again. I
-stopped by the vines at the end of the porch, because my father was
-talking.
-
-“And I will tell you something else,” he was saying. So he told them
-about the stump, and how we had pulled it up and then gone and got
-another tree because Ladylove felt so bad about it. “And Mrs. Martin nor
-any one else need tell me that a boy that would do that would torment
-a crippled child,” my father said. “I think I know my son George fairly
-well. What did George say about it?”
-
-“He said Mrs. Martin--lied,” said my mother. “And she probably did,”
- said my father. “Unintentionally but none the less wickedly. I am going
-to see her. I think she is going to apologize.”
-
-So I felt bully about that, and my father went down the walk and mother
-went into the house. I felt bully because father was right. Only I was
-n't the one that thought of planting the new tree. That was Swatty. But
-I guess I'd have thought of it if Swatty hadn't.
-
-I was just going to go up on the porch when Fan said something. What she
-said was:
-
-“Poor father! The way he lets Georgie behave and then stands up for
-him!”
-
-“Why, Fan,” Herb said, “you don't think George did anything of the sort
-Mrs. Martin said, do you?”
-
-“I wouldn't put it beyond him,” Fan said.
-
-“That's not fair! That's unjust!” Herb said.
-
-“Oh! I'm unfair, am I? I'm unjust, am I?” Fan flared up.
-
-“You are if you say such things about George,” Herb said, and he said it
-out flat, too, as if he meant it.
-
-“Oh!” Fan said. “The last time I was jealous. Now I am unjust! I'm sure
-I thank you for your opinion of me--”
-
-“And, now, Frances,” said Herb, standing up because Fan was, “you are
-unfair and unjust to me. Either that or frivolous.”
-
-“Oh!” Fan cried out and she slung something on the porch that bounced
-and rolled. It came through the vines and to where I was, and I picked
-it up. It was her engagement ring, but she didn't care where it went,
-because she went slamming into the house, and Herb went stamping to the
-gate and out of the yard.
-
-So I stood there and looked at the ring and felt pretty sick, because
-it was just because Herb thought I wasn't a liar and a mean
-cripple-torturer that he had stood up for me. And, just because I was
-n't, his wedding was off again and nobody could tell when me and Swatty
-would get his tricycle.
-
-
-
-
-V. SCRATCH-CAT
-
-Well, when mother heard that Herb and Fan had had another fight she was
-so hurt by it she just set down and cried and said, “Fan! Fan! I don't
-know what is going to become of you with that temper of yours, because
-Herbert Schwartz is one of the finest young men in the whole world and
-if you keep on you 'll delineate his affections away from you entirely
-forever,” or something like that.
-
-And it did look like it. Professor Martin's leg didn't get any better
-and he had to go over to the hospital at Chicago to have it broke
-again and fixed and Herb was made a regular professor at our school and
-principal of it, and every day he used to come into our room and talk
-awhile with Miss Carter, and walk home with her. I tell you it looked
-mighty bad for Fan, and I didn't blame Herb, because Miss Carter was
-nice. She was nice for a teacher, I mean, and sweet and pretty and
-everything.
-
-Well, I had the engagement ring. I didn't know whether it was mine or
-whose it was, because Fan had thrown it away and Herb hadn't bothered to
-pick it up. So it looked as if it was mine, because finders is keepers.
-So I asked Swatty. So Swatty wanted to look at the ring and when he saw
-it had a diamond in it he said it was my ring, because Herb and Fan had
-thrown it away, but that half of it was his, because Herb was as much
-Swatty's brother as Fan was my sister, and if they had of had the fight
-on Herb's porch instead of Fan's porch, it would of been Swatty that
-found the ring. So we had it in pardnership and said we would keep it,
-because if Herb got engaged again to Fan or to Miss Carter or anybody we
-could trade it to him for his two-seat tricycle, maybe.
-
-Bony was sitting there all the time, listening to us, so all at once he
-said:
-
-“Ain't any of the ring going to be mine?”
-
-The reason he said it was because most of the things we have we have
-sort of in cahoots, the three of us.
-
-“Garsh, no, Bony,” Swatty said. “We'd like to have you part own it but
-you ain't got no excuse to. Herb ain't your brother, and Fan ain't your
-sister, like they are mine and Georgie's, are they? You ain't related to
-the ring no way. We wish he was, don't we, Georgie? but he ain't.”
-
-Well, Bony was sort of mad at it, but it wasn't our fault. So then
-Swatty said to me:
-
-“I ain't going to play with your sister any more.”
-
-“Why ain't you?” I asked him.
-
-“Because I ain't,” he said. “If my brother Herb ain't good enough for
-your sister Fan, then I ain't good enough to play with Lucy. And I
-won't.” Well, I knew what he meant, even if he didn't say it out in
-words. He meant that he had been having Lucy for his secret girl, like
-I wanted to have Mamie Little for mine, and now he wasn't going to have
-her any more because Fan had been mean to Herb.
-
-“Well, I don't blame you,” I said. “I wouldn't either.”
-
-So none of us said anything for a while. Then all at once Bony said
-something.
-
-“Say!” he said.
-
-“Say it yourself and see how you like it,” Swatty said.
-
-“Why, say!” Bony said, getting red in the face and digging into the
-grass with his toe; “if--if you don't want to play with her, can I play
-with her?”
-
-He meant with Lucy. He meant could he have Lucy for his girl if Swatty
-didn't want her any more, only he didn't say it right out, of course.
-So Swatty said he could. He said he didn't want her and Bony could have
-her.
-
-“Well, then--” Bony said. “Well, then, I'd ought to be part owner of the
-ring.”
-
-So we talked it over and me and Swatty thought that would be all right,
-because if Bony wasn't a brother or sister of Herb or Fan he was going
-to have Lucy for his girl and Lucy was my sister and Fan's. So we told
-Bony he was third pardner in the ring.
-
-I guess Bony felt pretty set up and proud to have a girl that Swatty had
-had, when he had never had any girl before. Right away he began to get
-mad when we said Lucy was his girl, and that's a good sign, because
-that's the way fellows feel.
-
-But girls don't feel that way when they Have fellows. Right away they
-begin to wiggle their skirts when they walk, and want their mothers
-to curl their hair every day, and put fresh hair-bows on them. So they
-start right in saying how they hate the fellow that's their fellow; but
-they take slate pencils and apples and things from him when he gives
-them on the sly, and they begin writing notes to him in school, like
-“Don't you think you 're smart with your new shoes on,” and things
-like that. So he feels pretty good after all, and gives her apples when
-nobody is looking, and pushes her around mean-like when anybody does
-look.
-
-But she don't mind being pushed around, because that's one way she knows
-he's her fellow. So, when there is a party, she is the one he drops a
-pillow before, and if she don't kiss him, all right for her! But mostly
-she does. She lets on that she hates it, but she don't. She likes it.
-
-Well, I guess one reason Swatty was glad to get rid of Lucy was because
-Swatty didn't care for kissing games anyway, and it wasn't much fun for
-him to have a girl, because nobody hardly dared yell at him:
-
- “Swatty! Swatty! Swatty!
- Lucy she is your girl!”
-
-He was too good a fighter. And half the fun of having a girl is getting
-mad because they yell it at you. And, anyway, Swatty was sort of rough
-to have Lucy for his girl, and she didn't like to have him for a fellow
-very much. As soon as school was out Swatty would begin clod fighting
-with the Graveyard Gang, or make a bee-line for the baseball lot, or
-get up a good fight. He never wanted to sort of walk on the edge of the
-sidewalk when the girls were walking on the middle of it, and cut up
-funny to make them look and giggle. It was boys he liked to push around,
-and not girls.
-
-One reason Lucy didn't care much to have him for her fellow was because
-his father and mother were German, and none of the girls like a Dutchy
-for a fellow, because lots of Dutchies worked in the sawmills and
-couldn't talk good English. But Swatty's father didn't work in a
-sawmill; he was a tailor. But he was a Dutchy just the same, and when
-the fellows got mad at Swatty sometimes they would yell:
-
- “Dutchy! Dutchy!
- Stuffed with straw
- Can't say nothing but
- 'Yaw! yaw! yaw!'”
-
-Well, when I had time to think it over I thought it was funny that
-Swatty had let Bony have a third partnership in the engagement ring as
-easy as he had. And then one day I found out why it was. It shows how
-slick Swatty was to keep a secret or anything.
-
-The vacation before the time I'm telling about--which was almost
-vacation time again--there was a new girl came to Riverbank. She lived
-in a little house across Main Street that had a picket fence and a yard
-that ran mostly down the gully toward Front Street, and the first I knew
-about her was one day when I had to go down town on an errand and went
-past her house.
-
-I had on some new shoes, so I knew everybody would see them and be
-thinking of them, and I felt pretty mean; and when I went by the little
-house the girl was behind the picket fence, looking out. So I made a
-face at her, because it was none of her business if I did have on new
-shoes.
-
-It was summer, of course, and hot; but the girl had on a woolen
-dress--red and black checks--and it fitted her pretty tight all over,
-and was too short and little, so that it was tight like skin, and her
-wrists stuck out too far. She was barefoot, too, and that was funny,
-because girls don't go barefoot. It was as funny to see her barefoot as
-to see me with shoes on.
-
-I was going to yell something at her, but I didn't, I only made a face
-at her. But she didn't make one back at me. She just looked.
-
-She wasn't like any girl in Riverbank that I ever saw. She was
-brown--almost like an Indian--but she had reddish cheeks, and her hair
-was as black as tar and cut short, like a boy's, only it was banged in
-front, and her bangs were so long they came down to her eyes, and were
-cut as straight as a string.
-
-She stood behind the picket fence and just looked at me, and I didn't
-like it. Her eyes were like big black marbles and her mouth like a
-painted red. So I whistled and looked the other way and the first thing
-I knew she was out of the gate and after me. I tried to run, but she
-cornered me and took me by the hair and jerked me back and forth. I
-thought she was going to jerk my head off. So I pulled loose and ran,
-because no girl can jerk me around by the hair like that. So all she got
-for her smarty business was just a handful of hair or two. And who cares
-for a handful of hair?
-
-Well, you bet I got even with her, all right! I never went past her
-house alone after that.
-
-So that's the way she was. She stayed in her yard, and when a boy came
-along she would jump out and grab him by the hair, or slap him, and
-chase him away from in front of her house. She was a tartar, all right.
-She was like a spider that is always waiting and comes out and grabs
-flies; only what she grabbed wasn't flies--it was boys. So we all got
-afraid of her, and we didn't dast go past her house unless we were
-two or three together. And then we generally went round some other way.
-Except Swatty.
-
-Because one day Swatty he went past her house, and she come out and was
-going to pull his hair, like she did the rest of us; and when she came
-at him he backed up against the fence, and when she reached out for his
-hair he hit her hand away with one hand and slapped her on the face good
-and plenty. He slapped her two or three times and dared her to touch
-him. So she didn't say anything, and Swatty didn't say anything, and
-they just stood there.
-
-And pretty soon Swatty went on downtown. So she just stood there.
-
-Well, me and Bony used to play with girls sometimes because they let us
-be the husbands and fathers, and boss them around and whip the children.
-So when we did Swatty used to come along. Mostly he would sit and
-whittle until me and Bony got through, but sometimes he would be the
-policeman to arrest the husbands when they got drunk, or a pirate, or an
-Indian lurking to scalp the wives, or a 'rangatang to carry the children
-off.
-
-I guess the girls wished he wouldn't come, because a 'rangatang is such
-an interruption to plain housekeeping, and pirates and policemen are
-an awful nuisance to mothers who want to bring up a peaceful family
-and don't want their husbands taken to jail just when the mud pies are
-cooked and dinner is ready. But they couldn't help it, because if they
-didn't let him me and Bony would go where Swatty went.
-
-Well, one time when teacher kept Swatty in school to have the principal
-lick him, she went out to get the principal and locked Swatty in the
-room, and he climbed out of the window onto a maple tree branch and
-got away. So the principal licked him the next day. Anyway, the trees
-darkened the room all up, so they had the janitor cut down the two trees
-and they fell down the bank back of the schoolhouse.
-
-So that day the leaves were only beginning to wither, and the branches
-of the trees made a bully place to play in. So Mamie Little and my
-sister and me and Bony went right out there after dinner and played
-house; and when Swatty had been licked, or whatever he had been kept in
-for, he came there too. We made houses among the branches and
-leaves, and were fathers and mothers; and Swatty had a lair and was a
-'rangatang, and hung by his knees and swang from branch to branch.
-
-It was pretty good fun, even if it was playing with girls, because it
-was a jungle, and me and Bony hunted the wild 'rangatang between meals;
-and we were playing along all right when I saw my sister standing and
-looking. I guess you know how a girl stands and looks--the way a cow
-does--when she don't like something. So I looked, and out in the street
-was the girl in the red and black check woolen dress. She was just
-standing and looking back at my sister. It made my sister mighty mad. I
-guess girls can look the things boys generally holler at each other. So
-my sister said:
-
-“Bony, I don't want that girl to look at me!”
-
-So Bony looked, and when he saw who was looking he said:
-
-“Aw! let her look! Let her look, if she wants to. She ain't hurting
-anybody!”
-
-So then my sister got awful mad. She stamped her foot.
-
-“I _won't_ let her look at me that way.”
-
-So she started on a run for the girl. She didn't get quite up to her.
-Before she got quite to her, the girl sort of flashed up to my sister.
-That was about all I could see. The next I saw, she was standing just
-where she had always been, and my sister was flopped down on the ground
-with her arms over her head, yelling bloody murder. So I jumped out of
-the tree and ran up to my sister. Her face was all scratched up. There
-were four long scratches on each side of her face where the girl had
-raked her with her claws. So Mamie Little came running too, and helped
-my sister up.
-
-“If I was a boy,” she said, “I wouldn't let anybody do that to my sister
-unless I was a 'fraid-cat.”
-
-“Aw! who's a 'fraid-cat?” I said. I wasn't no more 'fraid-cat than she
-was, but I guess J knew that girl.
-
-So Mamie Little took my sister by the arm. “Come on,” she said. “I guess
-everybody around here is a 'fraid-cat. You and me will be mad at them
-and stay mad for ever and ever!”
-
-So I had to go. I wasn't going to hit the girl. I just thought I'd sort
-of push her away--only maybe a little rough--until I pushed her
-inside her gate, so I could show a smarty like Mamie Little who was a
-'fraid-cat and who wasn't. I walked over to where the girl was, and
-she waited for me. All I had time to see was the girl's eyes turning to
-something like prickly black fire, and something plumped against me like
-a bag of flour shot out of a sling. It was as if her body hit against
-me everywhere at once. And then something grabbed my hair and yanked
-me, and I felt scratches burning on my face, and, somehow, I was on the
-ground, yelling and holding my arms above my head. The girl was standing
-where she had always been. I heard Mamie Little and my sister yelling:
-
-“Scratch-Cat! Scratch-Cat!”
-
-Swatty came on the run. He was pretty mad, because him and me was chums,
-and I was his cow-cousin and his double Dutch uncle, and he ran right
-past me and up to the girl. He gave her a push with his hand, and it
-sort of pushed her around; but she straightened up again and just looked
-at him.
-
-“You scratch-cat!” he said, as mean as he knew how. “Who are you
-scratching around here, I'd like to know?”
-
-I thought she'd jump on him and claw him, like she did me; but she
-didn't.
-
-“I ain't going to hurt you,” she said.
-
-“You bet you ain't!” Swatty said. “'Cause why? 'Cause you darsent,
-that's why!” Only he said, “'Cors why?” like he always does.
-
-She didn't say she did dare, and she didn't say she didn't dare. She
-said:
-
-“Come over in my yard and play with me. Don't you play with them. I can
-play good.”
-
-So Swatty pushed her again, and she stepped back a step.
-
-“Don't you play with girls!” she said. “You come and play with me.”
-
-“Aw! you're a girl too,” Swatty said. “Go awrn home and play with
-yourself.”
-
-So he gave her another push. She looked as if she hadn't ever thought
-that she was a girl before. She said:
-
-“I can beat you running. I can beat you jumping. I can beat you climbing
-trees. I can beat you skinning the cat. I can chin myself ten times more
-than you can. I can stand on my head longer than you can.”
-
-“Go awrn home!” Swatty said, and gave her another shove.
-
-She stepped back again.
-
-“Come on and play in my yard,” she said again. “I can throw you any hold
-you want. I can fight you and lick you.”
-
-“Becors you're a scratch-cat,” Swatty said, and pushed her again.
-
-“I can lick you without scratching,” the girl said. “Well, then, do it!”
- said Swatty. “Go on and do it, why don't you? I want to see you do it!”
-
-So each time he said it he gave her a push.
-
-“I won't!” she said. “I ain't going to fight you.”
-
-“You darsent!”
-
-“I ain't going to!”
-
-“You don't dare!”
-
-“I ain't going to!”
-
-So every time Swatty said anything he shoved her again, and pretty soon
-he had her pushed clear back against the fence of her yard, and he left
-her there and came back. We went on playing. But every once in a while
-we thought of her, and when we looked she was standing just where Swatty
-had left her.
-
-Well, we found out her name was Dell Brown, because my father went to
-speak to her father about the way she scratched my sister. Her father's
-name was Reverend Brown; but he had adopted her because her folks died,
-and she was a sore trial, but no doubt willed by the Almighty. The
-Reverend Brown was a sort of preacher, and had an old white horse and
-drove around the country and preached wherever he thought they needed
-preaching. Mrs. Brown was a sort of invalid and old, like Reverend Brown
-was, and he was almost too old to adopt Dell Brown for his daughter.
-He had ought to have adopted her for his granddaughter when he was
-adopting.
-
-So he said he would pray about it, and Mrs. Brown said she couldn't
-understand Dell Brown, hardly, why she had the fighting streak in her,
-because at home she was all love and affection to Mrs. Brown, and a word
-made the child weep. I guess Dell Brown had just so much fight in her
-and had to get it fought out. I guess she thought it was better to go
-out and fight than to fight Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Maybe she was sort of
-fond of them because they were funny and old and had adopted her. I
-guess she was like George Washington: she was good and nice, but she
-liked to fight.
-
-Well, after while school started again. I kind of hated to go, because
-I always hate to, but more because I thought Dell Brown would go to
-school. So she did, and the first time she got me alone she took me
-by the hair and walloped me good. I hadn't done nothing to her, except
-maybe yell “Scratch-Cat!” at her sometimes when I was far enough away.
-So after that I didn't go to school very early, but kind of hung around
-until Dell Brown went in, and then I went in. I never told on her. If
-she says I did she tells what ain't so. It was Toady Williams.
-
-Me and Swatty was kept in that day, like we 'most always were, and Bony
-was waiting outside. So Miss Murphy thought it wasn't any use talking
-to Dell Brown any more; it was time to rawhide her. She got the rawhide
-out of the closet, and told Dell Brown to come to the back of the room,
-and Dell Brown went. Miss Murphy put one hand on Dell Brown's shoulder,
-and lifted up the whip to switch her across the legs, and the next thing
-she did was to let out a scream, and you couldn't have believed her
-dress could be tom so in just a second if you hadn't seen it. Her hands
-were beginning to get red in streaks where Dell Brown had scratched
-them. So Dell Brown just threw Miss Murphy's hair switch on a desk, and
-stood there with her chest swelling in and out under her red and black
-checked dress, and Miss Murphy backed away and began winding her switch
-on her head again.
-
-When Miss Murphy got her hair on, she went out and locked the door and
-got Professor Martin, the principal, who is her beau. He came in, and he
-was pretty mad. He grabbed Dell Brown and gave her a shake, and she
-flew at him like a cat and scratched him across the face. He slung her
-around, and she hit a desk and fell on the floor. It made her cry, and
-Professor Martin was scared of what he had done and went to pick her up.
-But when he stooped she clawed at him and scratched his other cheek, and
-he left her alone and told her to get up and go home, because she was
-expelled from school.
-
-So Dell Brown got up, and held her hand to her side, and went and got
-her books and went home. But there was only one rib broke, and I guess
-it healed all right, because she was young and tough. But nobody whipped
-any more girls in school. I guess they thought it was safer to whip
-boys. They are more used to it, and their ribs ain't so brittle. Or
-maybe the school board stopped it. Professor Martin almost got fired
-because he had broken a rib for Scratch-Cat and he would of been fired
-only Scratch-Cat was such a ruffian, everybody said.
-
-Well, of course the expelling didn't take, and Dell Brown came back
-after while, when Miss Murphy went away and Miss Carter came. She didn't
-fight much, because her rib was brittle yet, but she was cross all the
-time. It looked like she hated everybody and everybody hated her.
-
-But one day Miss Carter was walking down the aisle and she had some
-flowers pinned on, and one dropped in the aisle, and Dell Brown picked
-it up and put it in a book. She used to open the book and look at the
-flower. She used to sit and look at Miss Carter, and you couldn't tell
-whether she was mad at her or not, because her face was so dark and her
-bangs so long that she always looked scowly. But I guess she wasn't
-mad, I guess she wanted Miss Carter to like her, but didn't know how to
-make her.
-
-None of the girls played with Scratch-Cat because she scratched; and
-none of the boys played with her either, because they were afraid of
-her. As soon as school was out she would go home and play in her own
-yard. I guess she was pretty lonely.
-
-Well, that was how it was up to the time I'm telling about, just before
-school closed, in June, and the weather was bully and warm. It made you
-want to do things. So on Saturday me and Swatty and Bony was sitting in
-my barn and talking about what we would do that afternoon. We thought of
-a lot of things, and said them, but, every time, Swatty said: “Aw! no,
-let's don't!” So we didn't. So then I said:
-
-“I'll tell you what!”
-
-“What?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Pshaw, no!” I said. “It ain't no use. We couldn't get any. It ain't
-time for them yet.”
-
-“Aw! what are you talking about?” Swatty asked. “What ain't it time
-for?”
-
-“Water-lilies,” I said. “If it was time for waterlilies we could row up
-to the water-lily pond and get some water-lilies.”
-
-So then Swatty he talked up.
-
-“Well, we could row up the river anyway, couldn't we?” he said--only he
-said “rowr” instead of “row,” like he always does. “We could rowr up the
-river and get some pond-lily roots and sell them.”
-
-“Aw! who would buy old pond-lily roots?” Bony wanted to know.
-
-Well, I thought at first that the reason Swatty said we could sell
-pond-lily roots was because once I had told him about a man or somebody
-who had made money getting pond-lily roots and selling them to people
-who wanted to raise pond-lilies in a tub in their gardens. But that was
-n't why he said it.
-
-“Why, garsh! plenty of people would want to buy them,” Swatty said. “I
-guess I ought to know. I guess I've got an uncle in Derlingport, ain't
-I? I guess he ought to know about pond-lily roots, oughtn't he?”
-
-It looked like that ought to be so, because Derlingport is three times
-as big as Riverbank, and Swatty's uncle was older than any of us. But
-Bony said: “Aw! what does your old uncle know about pond-lily roots,
-anyway?”
-
-“I guess he knows plenty about them,” Swatty said. “I guess if you went
-up to Derlingport to visit him you'd see whether he knows anything about
-them or not! I bet my uncle is the richest man in Derlingport, and the
-reason he is is because once, when I was out pond-lilying, I sent him
-a pond-lily root and he grew it in a tub, and when folks saw it they
-wanted to grow some too. So my uncle he rowred up the river to a
-pond-lily pond, and he got some roots and sold them. First orff he only
-got a few and sold them; but pretty soon he had a hundred men getting
-pond-lily roots for him, and he had to build a pond-lily root elevator,
-like the grain elevator down on the levee, but ten times bigger.”
-
-“Gee-my-nentily!” Bony said. “Ten times bigger! Gee!”
-
-“Ho! that ain't nothing!” Swatty said. “That was when he was just
-beginning to start out. He's got ten of them elevators now, and--he's
-got almost ten trillion-billion pond-lily roots in them. He's got a
-railway switch and a steamboat dock to each elevator, and when he ships
-pond-lily roots he ships them by the trainload. Only, when he sells them
-in Dubuque or Keorkuk, he ships them by the boatload.”
-
-“Gee-my-nentily!” said Bony again. “Come on! Let's--”
-
-“Well, I guess so!” said Swatty. “I guess it's no wonder he's the
-richest man in Derlingport! And I can just go and visit him any time I
-want to. I can go visit him and take a bath right in his china bathtub.”
-
-“Aw! go on!” I said. “He ain't got a china bathtub!”
-
-“Yes, sir! just like a tea-cup.”
-
-“Gosh!” Bony said. “Did you take a bath in it?”
-
-“Garsh, no!” said Swatty. “Do you think I'd go taking bath-tub baths
-when I didn't have to? When I visit him my uncle lets me do just what I
-want to. I don't have to wash my feet, or take a bath, or go for a cow,
-or fetch in wood--”
-
-“Who fetches in the wood?” Bony asked.
-
-“Nobody,” Swatty said. “My uncle don't burn sawmill slabs or cord wood.
-He burns coal.”
-
-“Well, somebody has to fetch in the coal, don't he?” I wanted to know.
-
-“Well, I guess not!” said Swatty. “He--he has a--a bridge built right
-over the top of his house, so he can run a railroad over it, and he has
-a big iron box on top of his house under the bridge, and the railroad
-hawrls the cars of coal right up on top of the roof and dumps the coal
-into the iron box, and it runs down the chimbleys right into the stove.”
- Well, me and Bony didn't say nothing. We just sat there and thought what
-we thought.
-
-“And he's got a road scooped out under his house for a railroad to run
-on,” Swatty said, “and there is a train of cars under the house, and
-when my uncle, or anybody, shakes the grate the ashes fall right down an
-iron pipe into the cars.”
-
-“Come on!” I said. “Come on! Let's go somewhere.”
-
-So Swatty looked at me; but I hadn't said he was a liar or anything, so
-there was nothing to fight about. If I had wanted to I could have said I
-had an uncle somewhere that didn't bother with dirty old coal and ashes
-at all, but had his own natural gas well and used natural gas; but my
-nose was sore yet from the last time Swatty had pushed it into my face,
-so I didn't say it.
-
-We went down to the boat-house and hired a skiff and rowed up the river
-to the pond-lily pond. The river was pretty low and it was muddy on the
-bank of the river--over knee-deep in mud. Swatty got out over the bow of
-the skiff to pull it up on the mud, so the wash from any steamboat would
-n't send it adrift, and he went in over the knees of his pants, so we
-thought we had better undress in the skiff, and we did. It felt bully to
-be undressed outdoors again.
-
-I guess you know how the lily-pond is. On one side is the railroad and
-on the other side is the river; but between the pond and the river
-is narrow sand, with willows on it--bush willows. It makes a bank all
-around the lower end of the pond-lily pond and ends at the railroad. So
-me and Bony and Swatty talked it over, and thought we'd better not leave
-our clothes in the skiff, because somebody might steal them. First we
-thought we'd hide them in the willows, and then we thought we'd carry
-them around by the sand spit to the railroad, because the pond-lily
-roots were over by the railroad more. So we did. We walked around to the
-railroad and left our clothes there, and waded in. Swatty went first.
-
-It was pretty tough. You went into the mud pretty deep, and there
-were plants that had scratch-els on them, and the lily plants and the
-arrow-leaf plants were so thick you could hardly wade. They were all
-around the shore for two or three rods, and you couldn't see over them.
-They rustled like corn when we pushed through them. But we knew there
-was a big clear place in the middle of the pond, so we waded on out
-to it. It was the place where I learned to swim. It wasn't over head
-anywhere.
-
-Well, Swatty came to the open place first, and he stopped and said:
-
-“There's somebody out there.”
-
-Me and Bony peeked, and there was. Right off we saw who it was--it was
-Scratch-Cat. She was in where the water was under-arm deep, and she
-was sort of crying, she was so mad. Then we saw what she was trying
-to do--she was trying to learn herself to swim. It was enough to make
-anybody laugh.
-
-It looked like she had been at it a long time, for she was so cold she
-was shivering. We were near enough to her to see that the black spot on
-her arm was a mole and not a leaf or a vaccination, and we could see her
-shiver as plain as could be. The way she was learning herself to swim
-was this: she put her hands out in front of her and sort of jumped off
-her feet and then kicked and pounded the water and went down under. I
-guess you know how that feels. You can't get your head above water when
-you are that deep unless you stand up; so you paw in the mud, and get
-scared because you can't get to your feet. Dell Brown would come up
-scared to death, and spit and blow, and sort of cry, and shiver, and
-then she would do it all again.
-
-I guess it was pretty tough. Every time she went down she must have
-got scratched up by the weeds with scratchels on them--some kind of
-smartweed--and she was scared and chilly. It was mighty funny. I guess I
-laughed out aloud.
-
-Anyway, all at once she saw Swatty and us. She ducked like a shot, until
-only her head was out of water, and me and Bony laughed. But Swatty
-didn't. He pushed me and Bony back and said: “Hey! Scratch-Cat! Wait;
-I'll show you how to swim.” Only, he said, “I'll showr you how to swim,”
- the way he always says “show.”
-
-So he slid his hands out on the water and turned on his side and swam
-towards where she was. He didn't mean nothing. All he meant was to show
-her how to swim, because she would never learn the way she was trying.
-But Scratch-Cat turned and held her arms straight out in front of her
-and hurried for the shore, pushing the weeds away with her hands.
-
-Swatty kept telling her to wait, and once he came up to her, and she
-turned and hammered him with her fists, crazy mad, and he let her go on.
-The weeds must have scratched her pretty bad, ripping through them that
-way; but she got to the railway track and began putting her clothes on
-fast. So Swatty said: “Garsh! I bet she gets our clothes and hides them
-or something!”
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony hurried to where our clothes were and dressed.
-We got most of our duds on and were putting on the rest, when we heard
-somebody yelling. It was a woman, and she was over on the river road,
-across a cornfield from where we were, and she was yelling like she was
-being murdered. I was mighty scared. All I thought of was that whoever
-was murdering her would murder her and then come over and murder us.
-
-I guess Bony thought the same thing, for he got white and started to
-run down the railway bank toward our skiff. So I started after him. But
-Swatty he started to run the other way, down the bank to the cornfield,
-towards where the woman was screaming. He rolled under the bob-wire
-fence and started down between the com rows as hard as he could go. Me
-and Bony stopped and looked, and then we went after him, only slower.
-When we got deep into the com we got more scared. We didn't like to be
-so far from where Swatty was, with a woman screaming like that and being
-murdered. So I hurried up, and Bony came along, blubbering. I told him
-to shut up.
-
-We came to the edge of the cornfield and stopped. It was Miss Carter,
-our teacher, and a tramp had her by the throat, trying to make her stop
-her yelling. And just then Swatty jumped on the tramp. He had a rock,
-and he lammed at the tramp with it and hit him on the arm. So then Miss
-Carter went limp and stopped yelling, and fell in a pile on the road,
-because the tramp let go of her and she fainted.
-
-The road was all tramped up and covered with walked-on flowers Miss
-Carter had been getting; but the tramp reached around and grabbed
-Swatty and got him by the neck and began to pound his head. Me and Bony
-crouched down and looked between the boards of the cornfield fence,
-because we was too scared to run away.
-
-Swatty done the best he could, but it wasn't much use. He was getting
-killed, I guess. But all at once Scratch-Cat came a-sailing out of the
-cornfield and lit on the tramp with both hands.
-
-When her eight claws came raking down his face he let loose of Swatty
-and grabbed for Scratch-Cat; but she wasn't where he grabbed. She was
-standing away, with her hands clawed and her head sort of pointed at
-him, ready to jump again. So Swatty picked up the rock and slung it, and
-caught him in the back of the neck. He hollered like a bull and turned,
-and Scratch-Cat went at him and raked him on the side of his face. He
-lammed at her, and I guess he caught her on her brittle rib, because she
-hollered.
-
-She didn't care what happened, I guess, when he hit her brittle rib,
-so she went right at him, and Swatty made a dive for his legs and got a
-hold on them. The tramp fought good and hard. He went down, but he kept
-on fighting; and Swatty hollered for me to get a rock and whack the
-tramp on the head with it. Maybe I would have. I don't know. Just then a
-top buggy came around the bend of the road, and the tramp showed all he
-was worth and beat off Swatty and Scratch-Cat and cut into the woods.
-We heard him cracking the brush as he scooted, and that was all we knew
-about him.
-
-Well, the man in the top buggy was Herb Schwartz. So he got out and
-picked up Miss Carter and fetched her to, and Swatty told him what had
-happened. So Herb went to where Scratch-Cat was sitting on the side of
-the road, with her hand where her brittle rib had busted. So Swatty went
-over there too.
-
-“Garsh! I'd of been killed if you hadn't come!” he said. But she stood
-up and looked at him.
-
-'“What'd you come swimming at me when I was naked for?” she said, and
-she was as mad as hops. I guess her rib hurt her and made her sort
-of crazy mad, and Swatty was the first one that came near her, so she
-picked on him. “Why'd you dare?” she screeched at him. “I'll show you
-not to!”--or something like that.
-
-So she went for him. She didn't scratch, either; she used her fists. She
-fought like crazy, and got her leg back of his, and threw him and piled
-on top of him. He had to fight as hard as he knew how to, and it was all
-right, because she wasn't a girl--she was something crazy mad. It was
-a quick fight and a good one, and then Herb Schwartz grabbed Scratch-Cat
-by the shoulder and pulled her off Swatty; but that didn't matter,
-because the fight was over anyhow. Swatty had said: “Enough! I won't do
-it again!”
-
-Well, as soon as Herb had stood Scratch-Cat up, she turned white and
-fell down. She had fainted. It was a good deal of a mess-up. Miss Carter
-had got hysterical, and was laughing and crying so she couldn't put
-her hair up where it had fell down, and Scratch-Cat was stretched out
-fainted, and I guess Herb Schwartz was never so busy in his life before.
-He sent me and Bony and Swatty over to the pond-lily pond for a hatful
-of water, and while we were gone he hugged Miss Carter until she wasn't
-hysterical, because I guess that was what she needed to cure her, and
-then he soused Scratch-Cat with the water and she came around all right.
-So he took Miss Carter and Scratch-Cat back to town in the top buggy,
-and me and Swatty and Bony went back to our skiff and rowed home.
-
-Swatty was pretty quiet. I guess he thought Herb and Miss Carter would
-tell all over town how he had been licked by a girl; but he told me and
-Bony he would kill us if we told it, so we didn't. But neither did Herb
-or Miss Carter. The reason was that Scratch-Cat told them not to tell
-she had been fighting. Herb told Swatty that Scratch-Cat had asked them
-not to.
-
-After a while Scratch-Cat's brittle rib healed up again and she didn't
-have to stay in bed, and I was going down-town on an errand past her
-house, and I saw Swatty in her yard. They were playing mum-bledy-peg. So
-after that she played with me and Bony and Swatty, and pretty soon with
-Mamie Little and my sister and the other girls, and she was almost the
-one they liked best.
-
-So one day Swatty said to me:
-
-“Don't you ever darst yell at me that Scratch-Cat is my girl!”
-
-“Aw! I never yelled it!” I said.
-
-“You better not!” he said. “Because she ain't.” So then I knew she was.
-
-
-
-
-VI. THE CARDINAL'S SIGNET RING
-
-Well, for about a day I guess Bony thought he was about the smartest kid
-that ever lived. Anyhow, he acted that way and the reason was that his
-house had been burglared and mine and Swatty's houses hadn't been. But
-that wasn't our fault.
-
-Swatty didn't say much because he thought maybe the burglar would come
-around and burglar his house and then he would be as good as Bony. But
-the burglar didn't go to any more houses, and me and Swatty got pretty
-sick and tired of hearing Bony bragging about the burglar climbing right
-in at his window and almost falling over his bed, and about how--if he
-had wakened up--he would have gone into his father's room and got his
-father's shotgun and shot the burglar.
-
-We got pretty sick of hearing about the reward Bony's father had
-offered, and about how the policemen came to the house and looked at
-Bony's bedroom window and everything and wrote it all down.
-
-“Garsh!” Swatty said; “it ain't nothing to brag about to be burglared!
-The way you talk you'd think nobody in the world could be burglared but
-you. If I wanted to I could write to my uncle in Derlingport and he'd
-send down a burglar to burglar my house in a minute. And he'd burglar
-Georgie's house, too. And my uncle would send down a real burglar, too.”
-
-That was a good one on Bony, because the newspaper said the policemen
-said the burglar that bur-glared Bony's house wasn't a real burglar but
-only “local talent.”
-
-“Well--well--” Bony said, “well, if your uncle can send down so many
-real burglars, why don't he do it, and not leave you sitting there
-talking about what he can do all the time?”
-
-“Aw! if you say much more about your old burglar I will write to my
-uncle to send some down,” Swatty said.
-
-“Aw! and if you did he wouldn't get nothing! What'd he get at your
-house? I bet he wouldn't get any cardinal's signet ring.”
-
-Well, I guess that made Swatty pretty mad. I guess we had heard about
-all we wanted to hear about that old signet ring, so Swatty started to
-go away, and he said to me:
-
-“Come on! he thinks there ain't nothing in the world but that old signet
-ring. I bet it was brass, anyway.”
-
-But the cardinal's signet ring wasn't brass, because it said in the
-newspaper it was gold.
-
-I guess I knew plenty about that signet ring before the burglar ever got
-it, because once Bony told us about it when we were at his house and he
-would have showed it to us, only his mother would not let him.
-
-It had been in the family from generation unto generation. So when
-Bony's mother would not let us see it because her hands were in the
-dough and boys are too careless, Bony told us what it was like and said
-he guessed it was worth a million dollars, or maybe a hundred, anyway,
-because it was solid gold and had a red, carved stone in it, and the
-cardinal had given it to his son, and he had given it to his son, and it
-had always been in the family. So I said:
-
-“Aw! 't ain't so! Because cardinals couldn't give anything to their
-sons; they don't have any sons to give anything to.”
-
-“Well, this cardinal gave this ring to his son, so he did,” Bony said.
-“This cardinal had a son.”
-
-“No, he didn't!” I said. “I guess I know about cardinals. They don't
-have any sons. They can't have sons. That's the law.”
-
-Well, Bony didn't know what to say, because he knew I was right, because
-I read a lot of books and he don't. So, if it hadn't been for Swatty I
-don't know what we would have done about it. I guess me and Bony would
-have been mad at each other forever, or had a fight or something, but
-Swatty had just been listening and spoke up.
-
-“Aw!” he said; “that ain't nothing to fight about. The cardinal's signet
-ring could be an heirloom from generation to generation and the cardinal
-needn't have any son either. He could give it to his grandson, couldn't
-he?”
-
-“Of course he could!” Bony said. “That's what he did.”
-
-“Sure he did!” said Swatty. “That's how all cardinals do. When they want
-to start an heirloom going they look around for a son to give it to, and
-when they haven't any sons they give the heirloom to their grandsons.”
-
-Well, the burglary was about Monday of the last week of school, and
-about Tuesday we were sick and tired of it--me and Swatty was--but we
-didn't know how to shut Bony up, because we couldn't have burglars come
-to our houses just because we wished they would. So Tuesday after school
-when I went home my sister Fan was out in the side yard, where the vines
-grow on the porch, and she was down on her hands and knees.
-
-Fan had been looking pretty sick for a good while and it was because
-Herb had gone back on her, or her on him. I felt mighty sorry for her,
-even if she was my sister, and mother said she was worried and that the
-only thing to cheer Fan up would be to send her somewhere, far from the
-scene. So Fan had said she would go.
-
-So there she was on her knees in the grass and when she saw me she said,
-“Georgie!”
-
-“What?” I said.
-
-“Georgie,” she said, “I lost a ring here--one with just one diamond in
-it--”
-
-“I know. The ring Herb gave you.”
-
-“Yes. If you find it for me, George,” she said, “I'll give you--I'll
-give you ten dollars.”
-
-Well, I tried to divide three into ten, and you can't do it, so I said:
-
-“Maybe I can find it for fifteen dollars,” because that would be five
-dollars apiece for me and Swatty and Bony.
-
-Fan looked at me, and then said, “Very well, find it if you can,
-please.”
-
-And that wasn't like Fan, because what she would mostly say, would be,
-“You little imp, you know where that ring is! You get it this instant or
-father will attend to you.”
-
-So I knew she was pretty sick about Herb.
-
-Well, as soon as Fan said that I skipped out the back way, over
-to Swatty's, and asked him for the ring, because we had had it in
-pardnership, and I had let him have it awhile. I told him what I wanted
-it for and he said:
-
-“I ain't got it. I thought you or Bony had it; I gave it to Bony.”
-
-So we went over to Bony's house, and the minute we said “ring” he was
-scared stiff. “It was stole,” he said. “The burglar stole it out of my
-pants pocket, but I didn't say nothing because I guessed the police
-would get it back again.” So that was a nice one, wasn't it? So me and
-Swatty were mad at Bony and we wouldn't talk to him or let him play with
-us unless we got the ring back, and none of the policemen caught
-Bony's burglar. Bony's father printed a reward of fifty dollars in the
-newspaper, but my father said that whoever caught the burglar would
-n't be half as lucky if he caught him as he would if he ever got fifty
-dollars out of Bony's father, because my father would be blessed if he
-believed Bony's father had ever seen fifty dollars at one time. So maybe
-the policemen knew that. Anyway, they did not catch the burglar. I guess
-folks thought he would never be caught, and he never would have been
-if it hadn't been for me and Swatty and Mamie Little. I guess he would
-never have been caught if Mamie Little had known how to spell “sulphur.”
-
-The burglar got plenty of other things from Bony's house, too, but the
-signet ring is the thing I'm telling about because it was the signet
-ring that helped Swatty to catch the burglar. That and Mamie Little,
-only Mamie Little didn't know she helped until I told her, and then she
-didn't understand any better than she did about the sulphur bag. I guess
-nobody will know unless I tell it. So I'll tell it.
-
-Thursday afternoon I went past Mamie Little's yard about five o'clock
-and she was trying to fix up a couple of old boxes to make a playhouse
-and I leaned on the fence and was glad I was there, because nobody else
-was there to see me. So I said: “Aw! that's no way to make a playhouse
-out of boxes!”
-
-“Oh, dear!” she said. “I know it ain't. I want this one on top of the
-other one but I can't lift it.”
-
-“I bet I could lift it!” I said.
-
-“I know you could,” she said. “Boys are stronger than girls.”
-
-“If you don't tell anybody,” I said, “I'll come in and lift it for you.”
-
-So I went in and lifted it, and she was glad. She said it made a dandy
-upstairs for her playhouse, and she said boys were fine, because they
-were so strong. So I felt pretty good. So she took a hammer and began to
-nail some nails, to make shelves and things, and I told her girls didn't
-know how to nail, and she said she knew they didn't.
-
-So I took the hammer, and just then I saw Swatty coming. So I threw down
-the hammer mighty quick and said:
-
-“I got to go now. My mother wants me, but if you want me to I'll come
-over Saturday and we'll fix up the playhouse nice.”
-
-So she did want me to; and I said I'd come and I felt gladder than I
-had ever felt before, and I dodged behind the lilac bushes and got out
-of her yard the back way, and Swatty did not see me. So that was all
-right.
-
-Well, I guess there was diphtheria or scarlet fever or something in town
-then and, anyway, my mother and lots of the kids' mothers made us wear
-sulphur bags. That was so we wouldn't catch it, whatever it was. They
-were little bags about as big as a watch, and there was sulphur in them
-and aseophidity, or asophedeta, or asofiditty, or whatever you spell it.
-
-It smells pretty rank but it keeps away whatever you might catch.
-
-Well, going to school Swatty met me and he said:
-
-“Say, let's go fishing down the Slough, tomorrow.”
-
-“I can't, Swatty,” I said, because I wanted to do what I had said I
-would do for Mamie Little, only I didn't want to tell Swatty that, so I
-said: “I've got to stay home and work.”
-
-“Pshaw!” Swatty said, only he said it “Pshawr!” like he always does. “If
-you can't go I won't go, either! If you can't go I'm going to stay home
-and split the wood I ought to split.”
-
-“Well, I can't go,” I said. So we went into the schoolhouse and into our
-room. Mamie Little was there. She had just hung up her hat and she was
-standing by her desk, nearly across the room, and she looked fine, her
-cheeks were so red and her eyes were kind of sparkly. There were only
-one or two there besides us.
-
-So, while she was standing by her desk she sort of picked at her dress
-on her chest a couple of times the way I had been picking at my shirt
-front, and I was glad to think she had a sulphur bag, too, like I had.
-It was nice to think we both had the same, only she didn't know I had
-one.
-
-So I whistled a little whistle--“Wheet!”--and she looked at me. I
-guess she smiled at me. I felt mighty brave. So I started with the
-deaf-and-dumb alphabet, pointing at my eye for “I,” and rubbing my hands
-across each other for “h” and I spelled out “I have a” and she nodded
-her head at each word to show she knew what I was spelling. So I spelled
-out “sulphur,” because what I wanted to tell her was “I have a sulphur
-bag, too,” but when I got to “sulph” she shook her head and I had to
-begin again, because she couldn't understand.
-
-I was standing up and she was standing up and she was standing so she
-looked right at me, and I spelled and spelled. Sometimes I began at the
-beginning and spelled “I have sulph” and sometimes I spelled “sulphur”
- over and over, but she just shook her head each time and smiled and
-waited. She was awfully interested, and more and more scholars came in,
-and pretty soon they were all watching me and trying to spell what I was
-spelling, but nobody did, I guess. Mamie Little got awfully interested
-and she was mighty eager to find out what I was trying to spell. Then,
-all at once, I knew why she couldn't tell; it was because she didn't
-have any sulphur bag on. So, all at once, I felt mighty cheap! There
-she was, thinking I had something awfully important I was trying to tell
-her, and she didn't have a sulphur bag, and I was making a fool of her
-before the whole school, because what would she think of me telling her
-I had a sulphur bag if she didn't have one? And making such a fuss about
-it, as if it was something wonderful like telling her her father was
-dead, or something.
-
-Then, all of sudden, I remembered I was going to her yard the next day,
-to help her with her playhouse, and I felt worse than ever. The first
-thing she would want to know would be what I had tried to spell out,
-and if I told her she would think I was crazy to make so much fuss about
-such a thing, and if I did not tell her she would be mad at me forever
-and maybe talk about me to the other girls. I couldn't bear to think
-about it and I couldn't help thinking about it. So, after school, I
-hurried away as fast as I could, and when Swatty caught up with me I
-told him I had changed my mind and that I would go fishing with him. So
-that is how Mamie Little helped catch Bony's burglar. If it hadn't been
-for Mamie Little not knowing how to spell “sulphur” I wouldn't have gone
-fishing, and Swatty wouldn't have gone either, and the burglar wouldn't
-have been caught.
-
-So Saturday morning I got in enough wood for all day and it wasn't
-much, because it was summer and the kitchen wood was all I had to get
-in. Then I hunted up a new tin can, because when we get through fishing
-we always throw the old one into the Slough, because by that time the
-worms that are left are pretty; bad. Sometimes, if the can has been
-in the sun, they are even worse than that. So I got a new can and went
-around to the other side of the barn and the spade was there yet, from
-the last time I had dug worms, so I dug some more.
-
-Just then Swatty came into the yard and he was ready to start. So my
-mother came to the back door with some sandwiches and things in a box,
-and I said:
-
-“Aw! I don't want to carry a big box like that! Aw! I just want a couple
-of sandwiches in my pocket!”
-
-“Georgie!” she said. “You take this box! You 'll be glad enough of
-everything that's in it!”
-
-Me and Swatty went up over the hill and down past the Catlic church to
-South Riverbank and we stopped at the pump on the corner and had a good
-drink and cooled off our feet in the mud under the pump spout, because
-the sidewalks were hot.
-
-The water in the Slough wasn't high and it wasn't low. Once the Slough
-ran through to the river at this end but now it was all filled in with
-sawdust from the sawmill, and a big conveyor blowpipe kept blowing more
-sawdust into the Slough from the mill, and all the surface of the Slough
-was floating sawdust. Then, a little further along, it was water-lily
-leaves. Then, further along, it was plain Slough for miles and miles and
-miles.
-
-The water was three or four feet down from the top of the bank and the
-bank was covered with pretty good grass, and all along the Slough there
-was a path worn, because kids and fellows had fished in the Slough ever
-since there was a Riverbank, and before that the Indians had fished in
-it, I guess. Everywhere, close to the edge of the bank in the shade of
-the trees, there were places worn smooth-like an old chair seat--where
-fellows had sat and fished for years and years until they were regular
-fishing places. When you saw one of them you knew it was a good fishing
-place and that there was a bent root, all worn smooth and sometimes
-almost worn in two, part way down the bank, to rest your feet on.
-
-It was all quiet and still, like a fishing place should be, except for
-the “urr-urr” of the mills away off, or the “caw caw!” of crows or, once
-in a while, somebody knocking the ashes out of a pipe against a root,
-across the Slough or a little splash when somebody caught a fish. Then
-everything would be quiet again.
-
-So me and Swatty walked along down the path, because we thought we would
-go as far as we had ever been, or farther, this time. Once we stopped
-and ate 'most all of my lunch. It was nine o'clock but we were mighty
-hungry. Then we went on.
-
-We got two or three miles down the Slough and most of the fishing places
-were empty there and I wanted to stop but Swatty said: “Aw! come on!
-Let's go on down to the point!” so we went.
-
-The point wasn't much of a point but you felt more out in the Slough
-when you were on it. There was a big water maple at the end of it, with
-fine roots to sit on, and I sat on some of the roots and fished and
-Swatty sat on some others and fished. It was good and hot and the Slough
-smelled warm and weedy and we liked it, because that was part of the
-regular fishing smell. There was just a little ripple and the corks
-bobbed up and down gently and we set our poles among the roots and just
-leaned back and felt good. Over across the Slough was another point, but
-more rounded and bigger, and it was green and cool looking, with grass
-and three big elms on it, and back in the fields a cow's bell jingled
-once in a while, and the crows cawed, and the sawmill hummed away off in
-the distance, and it got hotter and hotter. I watched my cork until
-it seemed to lose itself in the ripples and my eyes got sleepier and
-sleepier and, the next thing I knew, I woke up and Swatty wasn't there!
-Neither was my cork!
-
-The first thing I did was give my pole a yank and out came a jim-dandy
-goggle-eye sunfish, just about as good as I ever caught. I held him so
-the stickers wouldn't sting me and got the hook out of him and strung
-him on a piece of twine and I was tying the string to a root so the
-goggle-eye would be in the water when somebody down the Slough a ways
-hawked, clearing the tobacco out of his throat, and I looked around and
-saw Swatty coming back to the point, not making any noise. He held up a
-finger for me to be quiet and then he climbed out onto the roots of the
-maple and sat down.
-
-“I caught a dandy goggle-eye, Swatty,” I whispered.
-
-He leaned over toward me.
-
-“Don't make any noise!” he whispered. “Bony is over on that point.”
-
-I looked and I saw him. It was pretty far across the Slough and Bony
-couldn't hear us if we whispered.
-
-“Well, he can't hear us, can he?” I whispered back.
-
-“No,” Swatty said and then he climbed over beside me and sat on a root.
-“There's a man down there,” he said and he pointed.
-
-“I heard him spit.” I whispered. I began to feel scary because there was
-n't any use for Swatty to be so whispery unless there was something to
-feel scary at, was there?
-
-“He's got Bony's father's signet ring,” Swatty whispered. “Anyway, I
-guess he's got it. He's got a ring like what Bony says his father's ring
-is like. He's fishing and he's got the ring on his thumb.”
-
-Well, then I knew what Swatty had done. While I was asleep he had
-sneaked down to see what luck the man was having and he had seen the
-ring.
-
-“Gee!” I said.
-
-Swatty sat awhile with his forehead wrinkled and looked at the Slough
-and he was thinking.
-
-“Garsh!” he said; “I'd like to be the one to get that fifty dollars. I
-wish I knew for certain it is Bony's father's ring. Fifty dollars is a
-lot of money. If I had it I'd put it in the bank.”
-
-“What bank?” I asked him. “The Savings Bank or the Riverbank National?”
-
-“I guess maybe I'd put half in one and half in the other,” Swatty said.
-“Then if one bank busted I'd have half left, anyway.”
-
-“Well, if one did bust maybe you'd get some of your money back,” I said.
-“My father had money in a bank once and it busted and he got part of it
-back.”
-
-“That's so,” Swatty said. “If I put in twenty-five and the bank busted
-maybe I'd get back fifteen of it. That would be forty dollars I'd have,
-even if the bank did bust. I'd like to have it.”
-
-So we sat there awhile and the crows cawed and the cowbell jingled and
-it was quiet, but we didn't catch any more fish.
-
-“If we hadn't got mad at Bony he would be over here,” Swatty said after
-a while.
-
-“Well, what if he was?” I said.
-
-“Well, he could sneak up and see if that ring is his father's ring,
-couldn't he?” said Swatty.
-
-“Well, then,” I said, “why don't you call to him to come over?”
-
-As soon as I said it I knew it wasn't much to say, because it was two
-or three miles back to the end of the Slough and four or six miles
-Bony would have to go to get around to us, and he wouldn't come anyway
-because he'd think maybe we wanted to lick him or something. And if we
-shouted what we wanted him for, the burglar would hear us and would get
-away from there mighty quick.
-
-“I'm going over and get Bony.”
-
-“How are you going to get him?” I asked.
-
-“I'm going to row over,” he said. “You stay here and watch that man and
-I'll go over and get Bony.” Well, I guessed that if he said he would,
-he'd find some way to row over whether there was a boat or not, because
-that was the way Swatty was. When he wanted to do anything he did it. So
-I looked down the Slough and I could see the end of the man's fishpole
-sticking out over the water and his cork floating and Swatty climbed
-onto the bank and took his fishpole and went up the Slough. He had to
-go pretty far before he found a boat and the boat he found was not much
-good. It was an old flatboat and one end was busted some and it was
-water-logged. Swatty had to stay away up in one end to keep the busted
-end out of water and he paddled the best he could with a piece of fence
-board. He paddled out to the middle of the Slough and stopped there and
-pretended to fish a while and then he paddled a little nearer Bony and
-pretended to fish a while longer, and then he paddled to shore near
-where Bony was and got out of the flatboat and went up to Bony. For a
-while they sat together and I guessed Swatty was talking to Bony about
-the ring and the fifty dollars and the man, and coaxing Bony to come to
-our side of the Slough and see if it was his father's ring the man had
-on his thumb.
-
-So all the time I kept looking three ways--at Bony and Swatty, and at
-my cork, and at the end of the man's fishpole--and all at once when I
-looked the man's fishpole wasn't there. It was gone!
-
-So I looked harder, but it was gone, no matter how hard I looked. So
-then I knew Swatty would give me a whale of a licking if he came back
-and found out I had let the man get away while he was fetching Bony, and
-I climbed off the root and up the bank and I was just starting to run,
-to go where the man had been, when I saw him. He was right in the middle
-of the path near where he had been fishing and he was bent down with
-his back toward me, picking up fish, because the string he had had them
-strung on had broken. He was stringing them again and as he picked them
-up I could see the ring on his thumb.
-
-Pretty soon he had all his fish strung again and then he straightened
-up and took a chew of tobacco and looked up into a tree that was right
-there, and I looked up and saw he had put his fishpole up the tree, so I
-guessed maybe he fished there pretty often, or was coming back sometime.
-So then he slouched off. I watched him.
-
-He was big but he wasn't very old. Maybe he was twenty or thirty. His
-clothes were pretty old and faded and he looked lazy in the arms and
-legs and when he walked he walked tired. He went down the path a ways
-and then he climbed over the fence there was along there and I went
-across the path and watched him from behind another tree. It was a
-ploughed field there and he walked in a furrow clear across the field to
-the road that was on the other side and climbed over another fence. So I
-climbed up on my fence and watched to see where he would go. There were
-three little houses across the road and he went into the one on the end
-toward town. So then I guessed that was where he lived and I got down
-off my fence and went back to the point.
-
-Swatty and Bony were in the boat and Swatty was paddling it as well as
-he could but it was only halfway across. Then, all at once, Swatty began
-to paddle harder. He paddled as hard as he could and then, I guess, he
-said something to Bony and Bony began to bail out the boat as fast as he
-could. Then Bony began to cry. I could hear him where I was and Swatty
-shouted at him and looked over his shoulder to see how far he had to
-paddle. Then Swatty dropped his paddle stick and began to bail with
-his hat like he was crazy. And before I could see it, almost, the old,
-rotten flatboat took a dive and Swatty and Bony were in the water.
-Bony yelled and went under but Swatty came right up, spitting water and
-kicking out with his hands. It was a good thing he was barefoot.
-
-Well, Swatty looked all around as soon as he got the water out of his
-eyes but he couldn't see Bony. So he dived for him.
-
-There's one place nobody ever swims and that is the Slough. All you have
-to do is to look down into it anywhere and you know why. All you see
-when you look down is seaweed--tons and oceans of it--all tangled and
-twisty, and old trees and branches sticking around in it to get caught
-onto. When the Slough is low you can't row on it because the seaweed
-grabs your oars and holds on like it was some mean man trying to drown
-your boat. It scares you. And all in among the seaweed are tough weeds
-and water-lily stems and water vines. There have been plenty of boys
-drowned in the Slough, I guess. So Bony had got caught in the weeds and
-vines and things.
-
-Pretty soon Swatty came to the top but he didn't have Bony, but his arms
-were covered with seaweed. He spit out water and scraped the seaweed
-off his arms and then he took his nose in his hand and dived again. That
-time he got him. He got him by one leg and he swam for shore dragging
-Bony behind him and the seaweed strung out behind Bony. His head was all
-covered with it.
-
-I was crying pretty hard, I guess. So Swatty told me to shut up and
-he turned Bony over on his back and began scraping the seaweed off his
-face, and Bony's face was scratched a good deal from the rough weeds and
-maybe from where I had dragged him up the bank on his face. I thought he
-was dead but Swatty didn't. He leaned down and listened to Bony's heart
-and said all he needed was to be pumped out. So he started to pump him
-out.
-
-Swatty got down on his knees a-straddle of Bony and took Bony's hands
-in his and pumped him the way he had heard you ought to pump a drowned
-person. He pushed Bony's arms clear back until they touched the ground
-over his head and then he drew them forward until they touched the
-ground again, and he kept right at it. Every once in a while Swatty
-would shake his head to shake the water out of his ears but he went
-right on pumping. So I stood and blubbered.
-
-Well, no water pumped out of Bony. Swatty pumped and pumped but no
-water came out of Bony's mouth and pretty soon Swatty stopped and took a
-couple of deep breaths.
-
-“Garsh!” he said; “I thought he would pump easier than that!”
-
-So he pumped him again a few times and then stopped again. It looked as
-if it wasn't any use.
-
-“I know what's the matter,” Swatty said. “We've got to prime him. There
-ain't enough water in him to start unless he's primed. When our cistern
-is low at home we have to prime it before the water starts pumping up,
-and that's what we've got to do.”
-
-Well, I guessed that was so. Our cistern pump was that way too. So I
-took my bait can and washed it out good and clean and got a can of water
-and I primed Bony. I poured a little water in Bony's mouth and Swatty
-pumped.
-
-“Prime him some more,” Swatty said.
-
-So I primed him some more. It didn't seem to do any good.
-
-“Aw, prime him a lot!” Swatty said, so I poured all the water I had in
-the can into Bony's mouth and went and got some more.
-
-“Keep on!” Swatty said. “He'll start pretty soon. We've got to get the
-water pumped out of him.”
-
-So I was priming Bony again when somebody behind us said:
-
-“What are you trying to do to that boy?”
-
-I looked around, and Swatty looked around. It was the man with the ring
-on his thumb.
-
-“He's drowned,” Swatty said, “and we're trying to pump him out.”
-
-The man took ahold of Swatty's shoulder and threw him almost into the
-fence. He stooped down and grabbed Bony and threw him across a big maple
-root, face down, and began to pump and pretty soon Bony began to pump
-out. The man pumped him pretty dry and then he put him in the sun and
-began to rub him good and after a while Bony opened his eyes. To see him
-open his eyes was one of the best things I ever saw. I was mighty glad I
-had helped to undrown him.
-
-Bony was pretty much wilted. Me and Swatty didn't know how we would ever
-get him home but we didn't have to.
-
-“About one more can of water in this kid and he would have been gone for
-good,” the man said. “Now, you help him onto my back and I'll get him
-home for you.”
-
-We got Bony onto his back and Bony hung around his neck and the man held
-Bony's legs under his arms. He climbed the fence with him that way and
-started off across the ploughed field and me and Swatty went after him.
-We didn't even think about taking our fishpoles along. We went across
-the field and the man stopped at his house and called his mother and
-she gave Bony some whiskey in hot water while the man went over to a
-farmer's house and got a team and a wagon. So, while he was gone Swatty
-said to Bony:
-
-“Is it?”
-
-He meant the cardinal's signet ring, and was it it.
-
-“Yes, it's it,” Bony said, but not very loud. He was pretty much drowned
-yet.
-
-So we all went back to town in the farmer's wagon; me and Bony and
-Swatty and the man and the farmer kid that was driving. So Swatty sat
-with the farmer kid and talked to him.
-
-“That man saved Bony's life,” Swatty said. “Who is he?”
-
-“Him? He's Lazy Joe,” the farmer kid said. “He's Lazy Joe Mulligan. He
-don't do nothing but fish and loaf.”
-
-So then Swatty knew who the burglar was.
-
-We drove up to town and Swatty told the farmer kid where to drive and
-pretty soon we came to Bony's house. The man, Lazy Joe Mulligan, looked
-pretty funny, you bet, when we drove right up to the house he had
-burglared. He put his hand in his pocket and when he pulled it out the
-ring was gone.
-
-“Come on!” Swatty said to me.
-
-“Where to?” I asked him.
-
-“Down to Bony's father's to get that fifty dollars,” Swatty said. So we
-went.
-
-Well, I guess we forgot to tell Bony's father about Bony being drowned
-and pumped out. We just told him we had the burglar up at his house and
-that we wanted the fifty dollars, and he rushed out and up the street
-and got a policeman and hurried to his house. Lazy Joe was there yet,
-telling Bony's mother how he had pumped Bony out, but the farmer kid was
-n't there, because Bony's mother had sent him down to get Bony's father.
-She wanted Bony's father to give Lazy Joe five dollars or something for
-pumping Bony out.
-
-Then me and Swatty and Bony's father and the policeman came in and
-Bony's father was saying: “Officer, arrest him! He's the man that stole
-my property,” while Bony's mother was saying: “Edward, give him five
-dollars or something! He's the man that saved your son's life.”
-
-“How is that?” asked Bony's father, and he was pretty much mixed; “I
-thought this was the burglar.”
-
-“He is the burglar,” said Swatty. “He's got the cardinal's ring in his
-pocket right now. I seen it, and Georgie seen it, and Bony seen it.”
-
-Then Lazy Joe didn't know what to say. Then he said:
-
-“I'll give everything back.”
-
-So that was how they fixed it. Bony's father saved fifty-five dollars.
-He saved the five dollars he ought to have given Lazy Joe for saving
-Bony's life and he saved the fifty dollars he ought to have given
-Swatty. So all me and Swatty knew next was that we were out on the
-street and we didn't have anything to show for catching the burglar. All
-we had was what Bony's father said. What he said was:
-
-“Get out of here, you little rats! Be thankful you haven't my child's
-death on your shoulders!”
-
-Well, I was going, but Swatty stood right there.
-
-“No, sir!” he said. “I won't go. You can cheat us out of fifty dollars
-reward, maybe, but you've got to give back the diamond ring this burglar
-has that belongs to Herb and Fan. You got to give that back, because it
-ain't yours.”
-
-“Have you got a ring like that?” the policeman asked Lazy Joe.
-
-“Yes,” he said, and he took it out of one of his pockets. So Swatty took
-it and we skipped out. We went right over to my house, because it was
-dark by now, and I went to Fan and told her we had her ring for her. I
-didn't know what I would say when she asked me where I got it, but she
-didn't ask. She just went to her drawer and got out fifteen dollars and
-gave it to me and didn't say anything. Only when I went out of the room
-I heard her bed creak sudden, and I knew she had sort of thrown herself
-down on it, broken-hearted, like in a novel.
-
-
-
-
-VII. THE HAUNTED HOUSE
-
-Well, it looked like that vacation would be a sort of nice one--at the
-beginning of it, anyway--because Fan had taken mother's advice and gone
-over to Chicago to visit Aunt Beatrice, and Mamie Little had gone down
-to Betzville to be on her uncle's farm awhile, because it would do her
-good.
-
-When Fan went she went in a closed carriage as far as the depot, because
-she was so pale and peaked she didn't want anybody to see her and have
-Herb hear of it. She sent him his ring back, I guess, before she went.
-
-I thought it was pretty mean that Fan had to be mostly sick like that,
-while Herb was as well as ever and having a good time with Miss Carter,
-as far as I knew, but it wasn't any of my business. Mother said she
-guessed Fan would get over it, because she was young yet and, goodness
-knew! there wasn't so much difference between one man and another, but
-that if people like Bony's mother didn't stop coming over and talking
-about it she would go mad. And I guess that was so because Bony's mother
-is some talker. I 've heard her talk.
-
-I heard her talk about Fan one day, and it made me sick. And then she
-talked about Bony, and it made me sicker.
-
-I was sitting on the edge of our porch waiting for Swatty and Bony. I
-was tying a piece of salt pork on the bottom of my foot to keep from
-getting the “lockjaw, because I had stepped on a rusty nail, and I
-thought maybe I had better scrape some of the sand out of the nail hole
-before I put the pork on, so it would heal quicker, and I was scraping
-it out with my barlow knife. That's how I happened to be sitting on the
-edge of the porch; but Bony's mother and my mother were at the other end
-of the porch. So then Bony's mother said:
-
-“No, I have never used a switch on my son. I have never struck him
-with my hand, nor has his father. We don't believe in it. We use moral
-suasion.” That means they jaw Bony. They corner him up somewhere and jaw
-him until he blubbers, the way the teachers jaw the girls when they get
-too big to paddle, and then Bony's mother blubbers and makes Bony kiss
-her and say that now he will be a better and truer boy and keep the Ten
-Commandments and not smoke com silk any more. Or whatever it is.
-
-So my mother didn't say anything because when she thinks I need it
-she wales me good. Anyway, I'd rather be waled ten times a day than be
-moral-suasioned like Bony, and so would Swatty, and so would all the
-kids, and so would Bony. But my mother didn't say anything because
-Bony's mother was a caller and you don't fight with callers until after
-they've got you so perfectly exasperated you just have to speak your
-mind.
-
-So Bony's mother said:
-
-“Yes, indeed!” and she said it the way women say things when they 're
-being stylish. “Yes, indeed! the rod implants fear in the child, and we
-should rule by love. My child shall never know fear. The normal child
-never knows fear.”
-
-Well, that's when I almost laughed out loud. Such a smarty, sitting
-there and letting on she knew anything about boys! Say, I guess she
-never was a boy! “Normal boys never know fear!” She must have thought
-she was in heaven, talking about kid angels and not about boys!
-
-Boys are always afraid of something. Even Swatty used to be afraid of
-that old witch, Mrs. Groogs. We other boys used to go across the street
-from where she lived and holler:
-
- “Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
- Lost her needle and couldn't sew!
- Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
- Lost her nee-dul and could-dent sew!
- Old Mu-uth-er Gur-roog-sy, oh!
- Lu-ost her nee-eedul and ku-uld-dent sew!”
-
-And then we'd throw clods at her shanty until she came out with a stick
-or broom--mostly it was the cane she used to walk with--and then we'd
-all throw clods at her at once and run. It made her pretty mad. But
-Swatty made her maddest. He knew a German rhyme he could say pretty
-fast, and he'd say it and she would get so mad she would shake all over.
-
-Well, one day when we were all sort of teasing her like that, and Swatty
-was with us, she came out with a sword. It was a horse soldier's sword,
-a saber, and it was so big she could hardly lift it, but she could with
-both hands, and she came right at us across the street, swinging it
-around her head. If it had hit us it would have killed us, but we ran.
-So after that whenever she came out she would have the sword, but we
-weren't afraid of her when we were together. It was when one of us
-alone had to go anywhere near her shanty. We wouldn't do it. We'd go
-'round.
-
-Well, she was one of the things we were afraid of, but the new street
-got her away from there. The new street went right through where her
-shanty was, so they tore the shanty down, and after that we weren't
-afraid of her any more, because she was gone.
-
-So this day--it was Saturday--I was sitting on the porch fixing my foot
-when Swatty came over, like he said he would. Bony was with him, but he
-waited in the alley because he knew his mother was at my house. I got
-around the corner of the house without my mother seeing I was limping
-much, so she didn't call me back, and when we got to the alley Bony was
-there all right, with a shovel he had borrowed out of their coal bin
-while his mother wasn't home. It was to go ahead and make another room
-in our cave with. I could walk pretty good, but I had to walk on the toe
-end of one of my feet to keep the heel off the ground because the nail
-hole was in the palm of my foot. We got to our cave all right.
-
-Our cave was a good one, it was the best one I ever saw anybody make.
-It was in the clay bank at the side of Squaw Creek up where there are no
-more Irish shanties or geese and where the creek bed is gravelly instead
-of sandy. We found the place one day when we were explorers, exploring
-the creek to its headwaters, only we stopped when we got to this place
-and turned pirates and began digging the cave. We didn't do much that
-day, but the next chance we got Swatty had us go up and dig again. We
-dug a little every time we went up until the hole was big enough for us
-all to get in, and then Swatty said we'd keep right on digging until it
-was big enough to live in.
-
-That was what we thought of right at first, but we forgot it. We had had
-enough cave digging, I guess. Swatty said: “Aw, garsh! come on and make
-a good cave!” but we didn't want to. We wanted to smoke com silk and
-talk and be comfortable. So Swatty went outside and climbed up the bank;
-but pretty soon he came sliding down the bank. He made the silence sign
-and motioned us to come with him. He looked good and scared. So we all
-climbed up the bank and looked.
-
-The grass and weeds came right to the edge of the bank and from the edge
-they stretched away over a big field. All around the field were trees,
-edging it in, but that wasn't what Swatty wanted us to see.
-
-Away over in one corner of the field the Graveyard Gang was playing One
-Old Cat.
-
-So that was where we were. The old Squaw Creek had turned and twisted
-until it went right into the part of the edge of town where the
-Graveyard Gang kids lived, and we had dug our cave right in a place
-where we had never dared to go. Gee, I was scared!
-
-We were always scared of the Graveyard Gang. They had to come down to
-our school, and there were a lot of them and mostly bigger than we were
-and we generally fought after school, but it was only sometimes that
-they could catch us and mailer us, because we could throw clods at them
-and then skip into our yards where we lived, and they couldn't come
-after us. But what they always tried to do was to get some of us
-cornered off and chase us out toward the cemetery way. If they got us
-out there they could surround us and mailer the life out of us. And they
-would.
-
-So me and Bony saw that our cave was a pretty good thing. If the
-Graveyard Gang got us cornered off and we had to run out their way they
-would think they had us, but we would just run and slide down to our
-cave and then we could fight them until they had enough or we had killed
-them all. So every day that we went to the cave we took up stones, and
-we dug and dug. It was a dandy cave. It was big enough to stand up
-in, and we made a stove out of old iron and made a hole up through the
-ceiling for the smoke to go out, and we had some potatoes and things so
-we could stand a long siege. We worked at it nearly all vacation. Swatty
-showed us how to make a door, and we made it and we painted the outside
-with wet clay so the door would look like the side of the bank but it
-didn't. It did some, but not much.
-
-Well, when school began again we began having clod fights with the
-Graveyard Gang again and some of them were pretty tough fights. Once,
-Swatty said, when me and Bony wasn't with him some of the Graveyard
-kids cornered him off and chased him all the way out to their part of
-town, but he dodged and went behind some bushes and got to the cave and
-hid there until night, and they never found him. So we knew the cave was
-a good thing to have. So this day I'm telling about we went right up
-the creek to our cave and the minute we got there Swatty stopped short.
-
-“Somebody has been here!” he said.
-
-The door of the cave was busted in and was off one of its hinges. Our
-stove was all kicked over and the table we had made was busted down and
-everything we had was all kicked around. We guessed the Graveyard Gang
-had found us out, so Swatty and me and Bony went to work and fixed up
-the door and mended the stove. We didn't know when they would come
-back.
-
-They came back quick enough. The first we heard was them talking at the
-top of the bank, and then all of them slid down. I guess they wanted to
-stop when they got to the cave mouth, but Swatty was in the door of the
-cave and he had his pockets full of our throwing stones, and he leaned
-out and let them have them. They yelled and slid right on down to the
-creek.
-
-Bony began to cry.
-
-Well, there were about twelve of the Graveyard Gang down there in the
-creek. They got together and talked about how they would get us and then
-they began throwing stones. I tried to help Swatty stone them, but the
-door was too narrow, and he told me to stay inside and hand him stones
-to throw. He threw as fast as he could and sometimes he hit a Graveyard
-kid and sometimes he missed, but one kid can't hardly throw against
-twelve, and pretty soon a stone hit Swatty on the forehead just on his
-eyebrow. He put up his hand to feel the place and another hit him on the
-crazy bone, and he came inside and lay down on the floor of the cave
-and hugged his elbow and rocked himself and groaned. I guess it hurt him
-pretty bad. Bony just stood and bellered: “Oh, I want to go home! I want
-to go home!”
-
-I went to the door and began to throw stones, but I was so mad I
-couldn't aim straight. Swatty sat up and rocked himself and hugged his
-elbow.
-
-“Shut the door!” he howled at me. “Come in and shut the door! Shut the
-door!”
-
-So I did. I wasn't much afraid of being hit, but I knew the door shut
-right away, so I shut it. The minute it was shut the stones hit against
-it like hail. The Graveyard Gang cheered, but it didn't do them any
-good; the little throwing stones couldn't break the door and they
-couldn't throw big ones up that far.
-
-In a little while Swatty was just rubbing his elbow and he got up and
-helped me brace the door shut with the shovel and things. His forehead
-was swelled up like an egg, but he didn't mind that.
-
-“There!” he said. “This shows it was a good thing we have a cave,” and
-I guessed he was right. He went over and made Bony stop blubbering.
-He made him stop by telling him to hurry and build a fire in the stove
-because maybe we might have to stay there a week or even longer, and
-we'd have to cook potatoes to live on or else starve to death. So Bony
-forgot to cry and started to make a fire.
-
-Between the boards of our door we could see out through the crack and we
-could see that the Graveyard Gang didn't know what to do next to get us.
-Once in a while they threw a stone or two but that didn't hurt us. And
-then they did the thing that chased us out.
-
-I guess it was about five o'clock by then. We thought it was later
-because it was getting dark, but we couldn't see that there was a big
-storm coming up. It was coming up back of us and was hiding the sun. All
-at once there was thunder, and then the stove began to smoke out into
-the cave. Then the whole cave began to fill with smoke.
-
-I coughed, and me and Bony thought the wind was blowing the smoke down
-the chimney, but Swatty went to the stove and kicked the top off and
-began scattering the wood and coals over the floor to put out the fire.
-Some of the Graveyard Gang had put something over the top of our chimney
-so that the smoke would come into the cave and smoke us out.
-
-Well, that was all right. We kicked the fire out and that ought to have
-stopped the smoke but it didn't. The smoke came in worse than ever, and
-then Swatty knew what was the matter. The Graveyard Gang was filling our
-chimney with burning grass or straw or something and then stopping the
-top of the chimney so the smoke would come down into the cave.
-
-The smoke got so thick we couldn't see and we couldn't breathe. Swatty
-looked out of the door cracks and there were eight or nine of the
-Graveyard Gang down there in the creek laying for us, but what could we
-do? We couldn't stay in the cave and be suffocated to death, could we?
-So what we had to do we had to do mighty quick.
-
-Swatty threw open the cave door. He had picked up a stick and he sort
-of waved it over his head. Bony was blubbering again and I couldn't see
-very well for the smoke in my eyes, and neither could Swatty, I guess,
-but Swatty waved the stick and shouted:
-
-“Come on, now!” he shouted. “We've got 'em surrounded! Charge 'em! We've
-got 'em now!”
-
-Well, the Graveyard kids looked up at the top of the other bank and
-Swatty started to slide down the bank right at them, and me and Bony
-we started to slide down, and the Graveyard kids turned and ran up the
-creek. I guess they were scared that Swatty had seen a lot more of our
-kids coming. Anyway, they ran about half a block and then they saw there
-was just Swatty and Bony and me and that we were climbing up the other
-bank to get away, and they came for us.
-
-We didn't have much of a start. We didn't know exactly where we were.
-We ran where the running was easiest, and pretty soon we came to a fence
-and climbed over and we were in a road. We turned and ran up the road,
-and the first of the Graveyard kids was piling over the fence already
-so we just let out our legs and ran! Even Bony stopped crying. He just
-turned white and scared-looking and ran. He ran so fast he ran in front
-of us and we could hardly keep up with him.
-
-The whole Graveyard Gang was after us now, shouting and running and
-pretty soon we knew where we were--we were on the Four Mile Road because
-off in the distance we could see the big red building of the Poor Farm.
-We knew that building pretty well because it is one of the places we
-kept away from because they keep the crazy folks there. You never know
-when a crazy man will cut you open with a knife or something.
-
-We didn't have time to think of that scare then, we were so scared of
-what would happen to us if the Graveyard kids caught us. I guess we
-didn't think of the Poor Farm crazy folks at all.
-
-So pretty soon Bony began to drop back, and we caught up with him. It
-was thundering and lightning hard now and the wind was blowing the way
-it does just before a big storm--big whoofs that throw up the dust in
-thick waves and make the trees bend low down and shake the leaves out of
-them--and Bony was crying again. Swatty shouted at him, but we couldn't
-hear what he was saying, the wind and the thunder and trees made so much
-noise. I looked back and saw that the Graveyard kids were right after us
-and then--Bony fell down!
-
-He didn't fall flat. He fell half and took half a step and then turned
-and fell sideways, and when he tried to get up he couldn't. I ran a
-little bit before I stopped, but Swatty stopped short and when I looked
-back he was trying to drag Bony up again. There was an awful flash of
-lightning, one of the kind you can't see for a minute after, and then a
-bang like a thousand cannon, only keener, and a big tree at the side of
-the road just split in two and one half fell across the road. I guess
-maybe I cried a little, but I didn't stop to do it; I ran back to Swatty
-and Bony and grabbed hold of Bony's other arm and helped Swatty drag
-him.
-
-I don't know what happened to the Graveyard Gang. I guess they got
-scared of the storm and went home but we didn't think of that then,
-All we thought of was to get Bony away in a hurry. It was awful! The
-lightning and thunder were just glare, glare, glare! and bang, bang,
-bang! and no rest in between, and the wind was bending the trees almost
-down to the ground and holding them there stiff, not swaying. I was just
-bellering and yanking Bony by the arm and saying, “Oh, come on, Bony!
-Oh, come on, Bony!” over and over. Swatty was shouting at me all the
-time, but I couldn't tell what he was saying, but he pulled more at his
-arm of Bony than I pulled at mine, and then I saw he was taking him off
-the road, because there was a house right where we were and he wanted to
-get him to the house.
-
-Just when we got Bony onto the porch of the house it began to rain. It
-didn't rain down, it rained straight across, like the lines on writing
-paper, and it didn't rain a little--it rained all the rain there ever
-was or will be, I guess. The rain came into that porch like water shot
-out of a fire hose nozzle, just swish-swash against the front of the
-house and then up to your ankles on the rotten floor of the porch. And
-then, when there was a white flash of lightning I saw where we were. We
-were on the porch of the Haunted House!
-
-[Illustration: 182]
-
-All the kids knew about the Haunted House. The way I knew about it was
-because we used to go out the Four Mile Road nutting and then we used to
-see it. Anybody would know it was a haunted house just by looking at it.
-The glass in the windows was all gone and boards, any old boards, were
-nailed across the windows, and the doors were either nailed up or broken
-in and hanging crooked on one hinge. The paint was all off and the
-chimneys had toppled over and the bricks and mortar were all scattered
-down the roof and some on the porch roof. The shingles were all curled
-up and there were bare patches where they had blown off.
-
-It was a big house, two stories and a half, and there was a porch all
-across the front, but at one corner the porch post had rotted down so
-that the porch roof sagged almost to the floor there, and the rest of
-the roof was all skewish. The floor of the porch where we were was all
-dry-rotted and some of the boards were gone, and the grass and weeds
-grew up through the floor everywhere. The yard was all weeds, as high
-as a man, and tangled blackberry bushes, and at night, so Swatty and
-all the kids said, something white used to come to the windows and stand
-there, and you could hear moans. It was a haunted house all right. All
-the boys knew that and all the boys kept away from it. And there we
-were, right on the porch and the rain just drowning us.
-
-“Come on, we got to get him inside,” Swatty said, and he took hold of
-Bony again.
-
-I didn't want to. It was bad enough to be on the porch of a haunted
-house or anywhere near it, but the thunder and lightning and rain and
-wind and everything made all things kind of different than on other
-days. It wasn't like real; it was like dreams. It was like the end of
-the world, when you don't think what you do but just do it; and so I
-took hold of Bony and helped.
-
-We got Bony to the front door and into the hall of the house. In there
-it was so black we couldn't see except when the lightning flashed,
-and then we couldn't see much. The rain was blowing in at the door and
-running down the hall. The old house shook and trembled. A brick or
-something rolled down the roof and thumped on the porch roof.
-
-We got Bony into a dry corner of the hall and let him sit on the floor
-and Swatty tried to feel Bony's leg to see if it was broken or what,
-and while he was doing that there came a big crash and the rain stopped
-coming in at the front door. It was the porch roof. It had blown down
-the rest of the way, shutting up the door and shutting us in. But we
-didn't know then that we were shut in. We were just frightened by the
-noise. We thought maybe the house had been struck by lightning.
-
-Well, after that it was darker in the house than ever. We didn't get the
-light from the lightning through the door any more, and we only got
-it through the cracks between the boards at the windows. We just stood
-there, me and Swatty, and Bony on the floor, and listened to the storm
-and the water swashing against the house and to the old house creaking
-and grating, and Bony moaned over his ankle and cried because of
-everything. I was just plain scared. I just stood and got more and more
-scared. I tried to listen whether the creaking and grating was the house
-or ghosts, and I listened so hard my ears seemed to reach out. I didn't
-dare to breathe. Pretty soon I was too scared for any use. I said,
-“Swatty!”
-
-“What?” he answered back.
-
-“I'm scared,” I said.
-
-Well, then Bony began to beller loud.
-
-“Aw, shut up!” Swatty told him. “I'm scared, too, ain't I? Feel my
-wrist,” he says to me, “it's all goose flesh, ain't it? That's how
-scared I am, but it don't do any good to beller about it.”
-
-So we just stayed there. Bony held on to Swatty's ankle with one hand
-and I sort of edged over so I was close to Swatty, and we just waited,
-because that was all there was to do. So after a while the storm let up.
-It rained a little yet, but the thunder and lightning stopped. The wind
-blew some, but not so much. It was pretty dark in the house. We knew it
-must be getting toward night.
-
-“I guess we can go now,” Swatty said, and I was glad of it. We boosted
-Bony up so he could hobble on one leg between us and we went to the
-front door. Well, we couldn't get out!
-
-And that wasn't the worst of it; every other way out was boarded up! We
-went all around the first floor and tried all the windows and the back
-door and they were all boarded up. We were fastened tight into the
-Haunted House.
-
-It was pretty bad going into the dark rooms, one after another, not
-knowing whether something would jump out at you, and I guess me and Bony
-wouldn't have done it if Swatty hadn't made us. But there wasn't any
-way out, and that wasn't the worst. There wasn't even a little piece
-of board to pry the boards off the windows. There, wasn't a loose brick
-or anything. Nothing but dust, and maybe a couple of pieces of paper.
-
-“What'll we do?” I asked, awfully scared. “Garsh! I don't know!” Swatty
-said. “We got to get out somehow. We'll starve to death here if we
-don't. We got to get something to pry off a board from a window.”
-
-Well, there wasn't anything to pry one off with. Not down where we
-were. So Swatty said, all of a sudden:
-
-“Come on! I'm going to see if there's anything we can get upstairs.”
-
-“Aw, no, Swatty!” I begged. “Don't go up there! I don't want to go up!”
-
-“Well, you don't have to, do you?” he said. “I didn't ask you to. I said
-I was going.”
-
-So he went alone, and I stayed down with Bony. We were all alone in the
-dark down there and Swatty went up the stairs. He went up a step at a
-time and then stopped and listened, and then he went up another step and
-listened. Pretty soon he got to the top of the stairs and then we heard
-him going from one room to smother and feeling with his foot for a board
-or something that would do to pry our way out. Then we didn't hear him
-for a minute, I guess.
-
-Pretty soon he came to the head of the stairs. He leaned over the
-balusters.
-
-“Hey! George! Come on up,” he said in a whisper. “There ain't nothing up
-here. I want to go up in the attic.”
-
-Bony wouldn't go. Swatty had to come down and talk to him like a Dutch
-uncle and tell him what he thought of him, and then he blubbered while
-we were helping him up the stairs. He said it was all right for us to go
-up because if anything--he didn't say a ghost, because he was afraid
-to, but that was what he meant--jumped out at us we could run, but he
-couldn't because his ankle was sprained. But we got him up all right.
-
-We got him up and I stayed with him at the head of the stairs, and
-Swatty went and opened the attic stair door. He opened it, and then he
-stood there a second. Even where I was I could hear it. It was like a
-groan--like a long, sick sort of groan--and it was from up there in the
-attic. I turned so stiff and cold I couldn't open or shut my lips. I
-couldn't breathe. I was like ice, numb and cold all over except my hair
-pulled upward all over my head. A ghost could have come and put its cold
-hand on me and I couldn't have moved.
-
-“Oh! Oh--!” came that long moan from up in the attic. Bony stood up,
-and his ankle gave way and he fell down the stairs--all the way to the
-bottom.
-
-He stayed there, just calling out, “Swatty, Swatty!” over and over.
-
-It was dark there now, dead dark. All at once I screamed. Something had
-touched me on the arm.
-
-“Aw, shut up!” Swatty said, because it was Swatty that had touched me.
-“Shut up and don't be a baby! I've got to go up there, and you've got
-to go up with me.”
-
-“Why?”
-
-“Because I don't want to go up there alone,” he said. “That's why if you
-want to know.”
-
-“What do you want to go up for, anyway?”
-
-“Well, you won't go up alone, will you? And Bony won't go up alone, will
-he? Somebody's got to go up and see if there's anything up there we can
-pry our way out with. Come on! That noise ain't nothin' but the wind,
-or maybe an owl, or something else.” So I had to go. I made Swatty go
-first, and he went up the attic stairs real slow, and I didn't crowd him
-any, you bet! At the top of the stairs he stopped short. So I stopped
-short.
-
-“What's the matter?” I whispered. Swatty stood still.
-
-“There's something up here or somebody--something alive,” he whispered
-back in terror.
-
-And there was! Between the moans I could hear it breathe, a long breath,
-like “Ah-ah!” So the next thing I knew I was down two flights of stairs
-at the front door, trying to scratch my way through the porch roof with
-my finger nails, and Bony was hanging onto my legs, and we were both
-scared stiff. I guess it wasn't so long after we heard something
-breathe in the attic, about a second after, maybe. And I couldn't
-scratch my way out. So I began to yell: “Swatty! Oh, Swatty! Come here;
-why don't you come here? Oh, Swatty, come!” And Bony yelled too. We both
-did. I guess we both cried, we were so scared and frightened and afraid.
-Shut in a haunted house like that and something moaning and breathing in
-the attic! Anybody would be scared. Anybody but Swatty.
-
-Afterward, the next time we got together after Bony's ankle was well and
-after the manager of the Poor Farm had given us each a watch and chain
-for what we did, Swatty said he wasn't scared when he heard the groaner
-breathe, because he had heard his folks's cow when it had the colic, and
-that was the way the cow groaned and breathed when it had it. Anyway,
-when I ran away from him and left him alone he stood and listened, and
-then he went up the last step and listened again. It was black up there.
-So he said, “Who's there?” and waited and the groaning kept on. So he
-walked right over toward where the groaning kept coming from. He walked
-slowly, pushing one foot ahead of him and holding out both hands,
-because the floor might not be all there, and all at once his foot hit
-something hard and cold. He was barefoot, like all of us.
-
-It might have been a snake. It might have been anything, for all Swatty
-knew, but he bent down and felt it with his hand. I wouldn't have done
-it for a million dollars, and Bony wouldn't have done it for ten million
-dollars! No, sir! So at first Swatty thought it was an old scythe blade
-somebody had left there, and he was mighty glad anyway, because it would
-do to pry the boards off a window and let us out, but when he tried to
-pick it up it was held onto.
-
-Well, I guess I might as well say it right out. It was a sword, and it
-was Mrs. Groogs's sword, and it was old Mrs. Groogs that was holding
-onto the other end of the sword and lying there and groaning and
-breathing! It was her son's sword, and he had been killed in the war
-Grant and Lincoln and Swatty's father had been in, and when she ran away
-from the Poor Farm and they couldn't find out where she had gone, that
-was all she took and that was where she went to die--there in the attic
-of the Haunted House. She went there because she was kind of crazy and
-thought the mother of a son that had died for his country oughtn't to
-die in the Poor House. But she didn't die in it, either, because the
-Woman's Relief Corps rented a room for her and the city gave her Outside
-Support again.
-
-So if it hadn't been for us Mrs. Groogs would have starved to death in
-the Haunted House, and if it hadn't been for her and her sword maybe we
-would have starved to death in it. So I guess it was all right.
-
-So that time none of us got licked when we got home. Swatty didn't
-because his father was a G.A.R. and Mrs. Groogs was a G.A.R.-ess, and I
-didn't because my folks were glad I hadn't been struck by lightning, and
-Bony didn't because his folks were moral suasion. They jawed him.
-
-
-
-
-VIII. WASTED EFFORT
-
-Well, a good many things happened that vacation. Fan stayed over
-at Chicago and Herb Schwartz began studying to be a lawyer in Judge
-Hannan's law office. Miss Carter went off to a school somewhere but I
-don't know whether she was teaching or learning. Mamie Little was down
-at Betzville, on a farm, and Lucy never did tag along with us anyway, so
-it looked as if me and Swatty and Bony was going to have one of the
-best vacations we ever had. We used to go up to our cave and work on it.
-Scratch-Cat went with us mostly, but we didn't count her for a girl. So
-it looked pretty good.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony liked vacation because we never did have time to
-do all we wanted to do when school kept. What we wanted to do most was
-to finish up our cave in the clay bank up Squaw Creek. The Graveyard
-Gang had chased us away from it, but that was all right when vacation
-came because the Graveyard Gang kids all have to go to work when school
-is over. Some of them work for the farmers on the Island, and some work
-in the sawmills. So we went up and looked at the cave.
-
-The cave was all right. The Graveyard Gang had fixed up the door and
-made it look better, and the stove was there, and they had made another
-room to the cave, in behind, only it wasn't all dug out yet. So me and
-Swatty and Bony and Scratch-Cat thought we would finish digging the new
-room and then, maybe, we would get a Gatling gun or something and put it
-in the cave, so we could hold the fort when school began again and the
-Graveyard Gang tried to chase us out again. Swatty said maybe his uncle
-would give him a Gatling gun for his birthday if he wrote to Derlingport
-and asked him. So me and Bony thought that sounded good, and we went
-ahead and dug at the cave.
-
-Well, it looked like we was going to have the best vacation we ever
-had. I guess we ought to have known that when everything looked so
-bully something was going to spoil it all. It was too good to be right.
-Swatty's mother's cow went dry, and Swatty didn't have to go home early
-to get her from the pasture so he could deliver the milk around to the
-neighbors, and that was too good to be right; and Bony sort of stopped
-bawling at every little thing, and that wasn't like him. We ought to
-have knowed something was going to happen.
-
-It was too nice. Most always, in vacation, my mother made me and my
-sister wash and wipe the dinner dishes at noon, and it didn't do any
-good to drop plates and break them, or whine, or get a bad headache all
-of a sudden; I had to wipe. There ought to be a law so boys couldn't
-wipe dishes, but there ain't; so about all I could ever do was to wipe
-them as mean as I could and leave the butter between the tines of the
-forks when my sister didn't wash it all out.
-
-Well, when this vacation came I thought I'd have to start in wiping the
-doggone dishes again; but I didn't. My mother got back the hired girl we
-had off and on. Her name was Annie Dombacher and she was a strong girl
-and a happy one, and she didn't care any more for work than shucks. She
-could wash and wipe dishes and enjoy it, so maybe she was crazy; but
-what did I care if she was? She pitched in and even carried in her own
-wood, and made a jar of cookies every two days. I thought it was bully.
-I ought to have knowed better. I ought to have knowed that mothers
-don't get hired girls that will carry in the wood and everything unless
-they've got something mean they are going to do to a fellow pretty soon.
-
-The first thing that happened was Bony. Me and Swatty had got so we
-didn't hardly think of Bony as a cry-baby any more, and here all at once
-he was different. He used to come yelling and “yoo-ooing” to meet us,
-and then one noon he come sort of sneaking, like a dog you've told to go
-home and thrown a stone at. He come up to us, mighty quiet and looking
-pretty sick, and didn't say nothing.
-
-“What's the matter, Bony?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Nothing. You 'tend your own business, can't you?” he answered back.
-
-But it wasn't scrappy the way he said it; it was whiny.
-
-So I started to say something, but Swatty stopped me.
-
-“Aw! let him be!” he said. “If he wants to be a whine-cat let him be
-one. What do we care?”
-
-So we let him. He came along to the cave with us and dug; but he didn't
-seem to have no fun. It wouldn't have taken much to make him blubber. He
-acted ashamed, that's what!
-
-Well, that was one day, and the next morning he was just as bad. We
-teased him some that morning, but he took it and never jawed back. Then
-he went down to the creek to get a drink, and me and Swatty talked
-about him. Bony's father and mother fought a good deal with their jaws
-sometimes, like when we thought Bony's father was going across the
-river to kill himself and we went to keep him from it, and me and Swatty
-decided there must be a big fight going on at Bony's house, because that
-always makes a fellow feel cheap and mean. So we said we wouldn't tease
-him about it. So Bony came back and we dug awhile and went home to
-dinner.
-
-And the next thing was that Mamie Little came back from Betzville and
-began playing with Lucy and Toady Williams again, and that made me feel
-mean. And then Fan came back from Chicago.
-
-So, one day after dinner I had to go for an errand for my mother, and
-when I came back Swatty and Bony hadn't come yet, but Mamie Little
-was at our house waiting for my sister. She was on the front terrace
-braiding the grass where it was long. So I picked some grass and made a
-ball of it and threw it at her and she said to stop, and I got some more
-and was going to throw it at her, and I felt pretty good, because she
-said: “Oh, George! now don't!” but just then my father came out of the
-house, so I stopped. I had thought he had gone already. I stood and
-didn't do anything until he went by, and then I happened to think I had
-left my nigger-shooter on my bureau in my room and I went to get it.
-
-I went into the house and up the stairs on the jump and busted into my
-room, and then stopped mighty short because my mother was in my room.
-She was at my bureau and had a drawer pulled out and was taking out some
-of my clothes. So I grabbed my nigger-shooter off the bureau and was
-going to go mighty quick, because mothers always think of something for
-you to do when they see you.
-
-“George,” she said, “you are going over to your Aunt Nell's to stay a
-week or two. I'll get your clothes all ready, and I want you to be a
-good boy while you're there and be as little trouble as possible.”
-
-“Aw, gee!” I said. “What do I have to go over there for?”
-
-It made me sick, because Aunt Nell is always trying to do right by
-me when I'm over there and combing my hair and making me wash my feet
-before I go to bed and everything. So I said:
-
-“Aw, gee! I don't want to!”
-
-My mother went right on taking clothes out of my bureau.
-
-“I'm going to tell you something, Georgie, and then perhaps you will be
-more reasonable. You and Lucy are going to Aunt Nell's because there
-is a little new baby coming here. Now, will you be a good boy and say
-nothing more?”
-
-“Yes'm,” I said, and I got out of the room pretty quick. I tiptoed down
-the stairs and stood at the bottom. I didn't know whether to go out
-or not. Bony and Swatty were out there now, and Mamie Little and
-Scratch-Cat, and I didn't know how I would dare talk to them. I sort of
-felt like they would see it in my face. If they did I would feel so mean
-I'd die.
-
-I guess you know how a fellow feels about it. Any fellow would almost
-rather go to jail than have a baby come to his house. The fellows yell
-at him, “Aw, Georgie, you got a baby at your house.” And he knows it is
-so and he can't tell them they're liars.
-
-But just then my mother came out of my room and said: “Georgie!”
-
-So I got out of the front door in a hurry. I was afraid she was going to
-say something about it again. Women don't know any better; they'll say
-anything right out and think it is all right and don't care how a fellow
-feels sick to hear it. So I skipped. I went down to the front gate, and
-Swatty and Bony and Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat were there. Bony was
-off to one side, looking sick, and Swatty was “Awing” at Mamie Little
-about something, but I felt too mean and cheap to “Aw!” back at him,
-like I ought to have done. I let him “Aw!” I got as far away from Mamie
-Little as I could and went over and sat by Bony and Scratch-Cat.
-
-Well, all at once I guessed maybe I knew what was the matter with Bony,
-because I felt just like the way he had been acting. So I said:
-
-“Say, Bony, are you going to have a baby at your house?”
-
-He got sort of red and didn't dare look at me. Then he began to cry,
-mad-like.
-
-“I don't care!” he blubbered out. “If you tell anybody I'll lick you,
-I will, I don't care who you are! I'll--I'll shoot you. I'll kill you!”
- Scratch-Cat didn't laugh. She just said, “Oh!” So I knew that was it. So
-just then Mamie Little called out, “Oh, Georgie.” But I just hollered,
-“Aw, shut up!” So I said: “Aw, come on, Swatty, let's go up to the
-cave.”
-
-Well, just then my sister came out of the house. She had on a clean
-dress, and she came hippety-hopping down the walk as happy as could
-be and happier. She came right down to where Swatty was teasing Mamie
-Little, and she said:
-
-“Mamie! Mamie! What do you think? We're going to have a little new
-baby!”
-
-Well, I got up and climbed over the fence and ran. I don't know how I
-ever got over a fence so quick--pickets and all--but I did, and I ran
-up the street with my hands over my ears. I knew Swatty knew and Mamie
-Little knew and that they were thinking: “Ho! Georgie is going to have a
-new baby at his house.” And I was trying to run away. When I came to the
-corner I dodged behind it, and stopped.
-
-Almost right away Bony came and Swatty came right after him, and
-Scratch-Cat after Swatty, but we made her go back again. We didn't want
-any girls around at all. Swatty was almost as sore as me and Bony was.
-He just threw himself down on the grass and said, “Garsh!”
-
-“Well, you don't need to go and blame me,” I said. “I ain't the only one.
-Bony's going to have one at his house, too.”
-
-So then Swatty sat up.
-
-“Aw, garsh!” he said. “You and Bony's always spoiling all our fun. I
-ought to have knowed what was the matter with him, and now you 'll be
-the same way. You bet I don't have no babies coming to my house, making
-everybody grouchy. But you and Bony don't care; you don't care how you
-spoil the fun.”
-
-Bony didn't say anything, but it made me mad. “Well, it ain't my fault,
-is it?” I asked. “I don't want no baby to come to my house, do I? I
-didn't order it from the doctor, did I?”
-
-“What doctor?” Swatty asked. “What has a doctor got to do with
-it?”
-
-“Well, a doctor brings it, don't he?” I asked.
-
-“No, he don't!” Swatty said. “A stork brings it.”
-
-“My mother told me so a million times, and I guess she knows, don't she?”
-
-“Aw! That's in Germany,” I said. “I know that, I guess. In Germany a
-stork brings it, but how can it in the United States where there ain't
-no storks? Did you ever see a stork in the United States?”
-
-“Well, no,” Swatty had to say, because he didn't. “Well, you've seen
-plenty of doctors in the United States, haven't you?” I asked.
-
-“Yes,” Swatty had to say, because he had. He saw Doctor Miller almost
-every day, starting out or coming back with his old gray mare. He was
-our doctor and Bony's folks' doctor, but Swatty's folks had Doctor
-Benz, because they were German and water-curers. Doctor Miller was a
-big-piller. So Swatty had to say yes.
-
-“Well,” I said, “don't that prove it?” Of course it did. Swatty had to
-say it did. So he said:
-
-“Well, garsh! if doctors bring them in the United States I guess I would
-n't be sitting around whining if I was you and Bony. I know what I'd
-do!”
-
-“What would you do?” I asked.
-
-“I wouldn't let a doctor bring any, that's what I wouldn't do,” said
-Swatty. “I'd find out what doctor was going to bring it, and I'd fix him
-all right, you bet your boots!”
-
-“Well, Doctor Miller is going to bring them, if anybody does,” I said.
-“He's our doctor and he's Bony's doctor, ain't he? What can me and Bony
-do, I'd like to know?”
-
-“Well, I could help you, couldn't I?” Swatty wanted to know. “I would
-n't have to go back on you just because Doctor Miller isn't our doctor,
-would I?”
-
-“Well, what would we do, then?” I asked, but you bet I felt a whole lot
-better; if Swatty was willing to help us it was different. He was a good
-helper. Bony looked better, too.
-
-Swatty pulled a handful of grass and fooled with it and I could see he
-was thinking mighty hard.
-
-“We've got the cave, ain't we?” he said after while. “Well, then, all
-we've got to do is to get Doctor Miller and put him in the cave and keep
-him there, and then he can't do anything about it, can he?”
-
-Of course that was so. I wouldn't have thought of it, and Bony would
-n't, but Swatty thought of it in less than a minute. But right away I
-thought of how hard it would be to do. If Doctor Miller had been a kid
-it would have been easy, but he was a man and he was a mighty big man,
-too. He was bigger around than any man in town, I guess, and almost as
-tall.
-
-I asked Swatty, and he said of course we couldn't grab Doctor Miller and
-push him a mile or so out to the cave and boost him up the clay bank and
-into the cave.
-
-“We've got to think out a plan,” he said, only he said “plam,” like he
-always does, and “gart,” instead of “got.” So we thought, and it wasn't
-any use. So Swatty said we might as well go out to the cave and do some
-work and think out there. So we went.
-
-The more I thought the more I couldn't think of anything. All I could
-think of was how big Doctor Miller was, and I guess Bony thought the
-same thing. I thought of his whiskers, too.
-
-You 're always kind of scared of a doctor, almost like you're scared
-of a minister. They ain't like common folks. Common folks are just men,
-except when they are your fathers; but ministers and doctors are men and
-something else, and Doctor Miller was more doctory than any other doctor
-in town. That was why so many folks had him. He had red-brown whiskers
-and nothing on his chin or upper lip, and his whiskers were not stiff
-and tough like whiskers generally are, but smooth and silky and fluffy.
-He laughed a lot, too, and was always smiling, but he knew all about
-your insides better than you did. It is creepy to see a man smiling so
-much and feel that he knows more about you than you do yourself. And so
-you were mighty scared of him.
-
-Well, we didn't think of anything, and I went home feeling pretty mean
-and went in the alley way and my mother was keeping supper for me and
-had my things and sister's all ready for us to go over to Aunt Nell's
-and after supper she kissed us and we went. She gave me a dollar and she
-gave Sis fifty cents, and she hugged us a long time before she let us
-go.
-
-The next morning Aunt Nell started right in on me. She made me go
-upstairs and brush my hair again and looked at my finger nails and in my
-ears, and then said I didn't look as well as usual and wanted to know
-if I slept well. I got away as soon as I could and went up to the cave.
-Swatty and Bony was there already, digging at the roof of the back room
-of the cave.
-
-“What you doing that for?” I asked. “If you dig up there much more the
-roof will bust through.”
-
-“Well, ain't that what we want it to do?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Why do we?” I asked back.
-
-“You come on and help us work,” he said, “and I'll tell you why.”
-
-So I helped them work and Swatty told me he had thought of a bully plan.
-I wouldn't have thought of it in a thousand years. I had stayed awake
-all night--or anyway almost half an hour--trying to think how we could
-get Doctor Miller into the cave, and all I could think of was grabbing
-him somehow and tying ropes to him and yanking him up to the door of the
-cave, and I knew we couldn't do it, because we weren't strong enough.
-But Swatty had thought it all out, like he always does. I might have
-known he would.
-
-We went ahead and dug at the roof of the cave, and pretty soon we dug
-through to daylight. It took us all day and the dirt we got we spaded
-into the tunnel between the two rooms and filled it up good and solid,
-except a short way out of the front room. The next day we worked hard,
-too. We dug out more of the roof of the back room, and then worked on
-the door of the cave so we could fasten it up sound and quick when we
-got the doctor in it. We took the stove out and everything else he could
-use to dig with, and when we had to go home for supper we had it all
-ready. Swatty said so.
-
-Well, all of us knew Jake Hines, the doctor's hired man, and he was
-foreman of Fearless Hose Company No. 2, and every night he went over
-to the hose-house and played cards after he got his work done at the
-doctor's. I went to bed about nine o'clock, but I left my clothes on,
-and when I thought it was midnight I got up and went downstairs and went
-out into the alley. Swatty was there already, sitting in the shadow of
-Doc Miller's manure box, but Bony hadn't come, so we guessed he was a
-'fraid-cat and didn't dare. So we went ahead without him.
-
-The doctor's old gray mare was standing with her head at the little
-square window, and Swatty got on the manure box and climbed in. He
-opened the stable door and I went in after him. The old mare looked
-around at us, but she didn't make any trouble, and Swatty untied the
-halter strap and we led her out into the alley. We led her across the
-public square, and down into the creek and then up the creek to where
-our cave was. She came right along as easy as anything and we got her
-up the bank and to where we had caved in the roof of the back cave. She
-didn't want to go down there. I guess she thought it was kind of funny
-to be taken into a hole like that, but a doctor's horse is used to being
-out at night and to going into all sorts of places, and at last she set
-her front feet and slid down. It was pretty steep, but she went down
-easy. Swatty tied the halter strap to one of her front feet and we left
-her there.
-
-We went back home and I went to bed. I was pretty scared. I thought the
-doctor would get up in the morning and see his mare was gone and would
-get a lot of people and police and there would be crowds hunting the
-mare. I had pretty bad dreams. I dreamed I was hung about eight times
-for horse stealing.
-
-When I got up in the morning I was mighty sick of it, you bet. I made
-up my mind I wouldn't do any more, no matter how many babies the doctor
-brought to our house. I would stay at Aunt Nell's and let on I didn't
-know anything about gray mares or anything. I was through.
-
-So about nine o'clock, Swatty came to Aunt Nell's to get me, and he was
-just hopping, he was so tickled.
-
-“Garsh!” he said. “It's better than I ever thort it would be. I came
-through the alley and Jake Hines was sitting on the manure box waiting
-for the mare to come home. And what do you think?”
-
-“What?” I asked.
-
-“He said he would give me a quarter if I found the mare,” Swatty
-said. “He said he guessed he had left the stable door open and she had
-wandered away and maybe she would come back, but if I hunted around
-and found her and brought her back he would give me a quarter. So I'm
-hunting around for her.”
-
-Well, I didn't feel so bad. Bony came and said it wasn't because he was
-scared that he didn't come out last night, but because he had gone to
-sleep and hadn't waked up. So Swatty talked some more and we all felt
-fine. We seen it was bully. So I took my dollar, like we had fixed it
-for me to do, and I bought some bread and some butter and some things
-to eat while Swatty and Bony went out to the cave. We didn't want Doctor
-Miller to starve to death while we had him locked in the cave because
-that would be murder. So I took what I had bought to the cave and we put
-it where the doctor could see it, and then we went down to the doctor's
-house. It was about ten o'clock. We went to the front door and rung the
-bell and Mrs. Miller came to the door.
-
-“Is Doctor Miller at home?” Swatty asked.
-
-She said he was, and Swatty told her we had found his horse, and she
-said she would tell him. He came right out. He looked sort of jolly and
-he said: “Well, boys, I suppose you are looking for a reward. Did you
-bring old Jenny home?”
-
-“No, sir,” Swatty said. “We would of but we couldn't. We couldn't get
-her out of the hole.”
-
-So he wanted to know what hole and Swatty told him. He told him we had a
-cave up the creek and that it looked like the old mare had walked on top
-of the cave and fell through. He asked if she was hurt and we said she
-wasn't, we guessed, but she wouldn't come out for us. He got his hat.
-
-“Come on,” he said; “I'll see about it.”
-
-Well, he took us out the back way to the stable and yelled for Jake, and
-Jake came.
-
-“Jake,” he said, “these boys have found Jenny, and she's fallen into a
-hole and they can't get her out.”
-
-“All right,” Jake said; “I'll go with them.”
-
-You could have knocked me over with a feather. We hadn't thought of
-that. The doctor started to go back to the house. Then he stopped.
-
-“Just wait a minute,” he said. “I think I'll go with you. If the mare is
-hurt, I may be able to attend to her right there.”
-
-When the doctor came out with his medicine case we started, and me and
-Swatty pretended to be eager to hurry up. Bony sort of held back behind.
-The doctor talked to us a lot. He was sort of happy and good-natured
-about it, like fat men are, and joked some how far it was. We took him
-out the Graveyard Road and down into the creek bottom and showed him the
-mouth of our cave up the bank.
-
-“Well, well,” he said. “This is mountain climbing indeed! If I had much
-of this to do I'd be a smaller and a better man.”
-
-He made me carry his medicine case so he could use both hands, and I
-went first. Then Jake came and then the doctor, and then Swatty and then
-Bony. When we got to the door of the cave I stopped and Jake looked in.
-
-“Where's the mare?” he said. “I don't see no mare.”
-
-He turned to look back and the doctor was just behind him, panting
-pretty hard.
-
-“What?” the doctor asked, and he stepped up. I started to say it was the
-back cave the mare was in, but just then the doctor bumped against me
-and went sort of down on his knees. It was as dark as pitch. Swatty had
-slammed the door shut against the doctor and jolted him into the cave,
-and me and Jake with him. I heard Swatty fastening the cave door, and
-there we were--me and the doctor and Jake. We were locked in the cave.
-
-I was the first one to know what Swatty had done, and I pounded on the
-door and hollered for them to let us out, but they didn't do it. Jake
-was just standing and saying:
-
-“I'll be dumed! I'll be dumed!”
-
-“What does this mean?” Doctor Miller asked.
-
-I didn't know what to say, I was so scared. But I didn't have to say
-anything. Jake said it.
-
-“I know mighty well what this means, Doc,” he said. “This is some of Tom
-Foley's work, this is. He's been trying to get me out of the foremanship
-of Fearless Hose No. 2 for the last three years, and we've got the
-annual election to-night. He knows mighty well if I ain't there to-night
-he can put it over on me, and this is his game. I'm mighty sorry you got
-drug into it, Doc; but I'll make him suffer for this when I get out!”
-
-He struck a match and saw the food I had brought. He kept striking more
-matches and looking around the cave.
-
-“Yes, by Susan!” he said. “Look at the food. This is Foley's work--the
-great big mush! He thinks this is a good joke. I'll show him! Son,” he
-said to me, “did Foley talk to you?”
-
-“No, sir,” I said.
-
-“I knew it!” Jake said. “It's that Swatty kid. He's a terror, he is.
-Well, son, don't you mind; we'll mighty soon get out of here.”
-
-I felt a whole lot better. But I guess the doctor didn't.
-
-“Get out? How'll we get out?” he wanted to know. “If your friend
-Foley fixed this up, you may be sure he did not expect you to get out
-to-night. And I've got to get out. I've got two important cases, and I
-must get out.”
-
-“Oh, we'll get out, Doc,” said Jake. And he lit another match.
-
-He looked at the door and tried it, butting into it with his shoulder.
-But we had fixed it dandy. It didn't give at all. It was like butting a
-rock. He tried it awhile, and then he said, but not so gay: “Well, we'll
-have to dig out.”
-
-“Then, Jake, let us dig,” said the doctor. And they dug. I dug too, but
-mostly I only pretended to dig. It was dark in there and you couldn't
-see, and clay isn't anything to dig with your fingers. Jake and the
-doctor had pocket knives, but you know how much you can dig with a
-pocket knife. But they had the right idea. They didn't try to dig
-through the tunnel, like me and Swatty thought they would. They dug
-around the door.
-
-Well, when Swatty and Bony had locked us in they went and sat on the
-bank across the creek to see what would happen. Nothing happened. Then
-Swatty got to thinking. He didn't worry about Jake, because Jake was a
-hired man and nobody ever knew when he would get home; but he knew my
-aunt would want to know where I was. That made him think of Mrs. Miller,
-and she would want to know where the doctor was. He was mighty worried.
-We had thought that maybe we could keep the doctor in the cave a couple
-of weeks until everything was all right, but he knew right away that me
-and Jake and the doctor couldn't live on the food I had put in the cave,
-and he knew my aunt would start out to find where I was, and Mrs. Miller
-to find out where Doctor Miller was. He was mighty worried, and he
-didn't know what to do. So he didn't do anything.
-
-It turned out like he thought it would. My aunt was mad when I did not
-come home to dinner, and madder when I didn't come home to supper, but
-when I didn't come home at all she was worried almost crazy and she
-got my father to go hunt for me. He hunted awhile, and then he got some
-other men to hunt for me, because he had to go home.
-
-They hunted all night. Along toward morning the hunters who were hunting
-for me ran into the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller. They had
-Swatty with them, because Mrs. Miller had said Swatty had come to the
-house and the doctor had gone away with him. They were trying to make
-Swatty tell where the doctor went, but he wouldn't. He just let on like
-he was crying and said he didn't know.
-
-Well, the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller had just started
-out, because Mrs. Miller hadn't got worried until toward morning,
-because she thought he was attending to his business. But toward morning
-my father and Bony's father came to his house, and it was at their
-houses Mrs. Miller thought Doctor Miller was. So she was frightened and
-got some men to hunt him.
-
-I guess I went to sleep about ten or eleven o'clock that night while
-Jake find Doctor Miller were still digging. I woke up all of a sudden
-and there I was in the cave, and the door open and men coming in and
-Doctor Miller brushing off his hands. Him and Jake had almost dug a way
-out, but the hunters had got Swatty to tell where we were. So about the
-first thing I heard was a man saying:
-
-“Where's that Swatty? Don't let him get away!”
-
-But he had got. We didn't see him for about a week. He went over into
-Illinois and got a job with a farmer.
-
-Well, all the way home Jake kept talking about Tom Foley and what he
-would do to him, and when the hunters heard it they laughed like sixty
-and said it was the best joke they ever heard. They said they would have
-to hand it to Foley--he was a dandy. So I guess they told Foley so. I
-guess he listened to them and didn't let on, only said he didn't do
-it, and of course they didn't believe him, because he had been elected
-foreman of Fearless Hose No. 2, like Jake had said he would be. So Foley
-got sort of proud of it and let them think. So me and Bony and Swatty
-never got anything, except Swatty got licked for being away for a week,
-and that was all right; it was worth it for the fun we had.
-
-But the worst of it was that all of it wasn't any use. We had gone to
-all the work for nothing. We had caved up the wrong doctor. We ought
-to have caved up Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown. Because while we had
-Doctor Miller caved up, and thought we had everything fine and dandy,
-it was Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown who were the ones all the time.
-When we got home from the cave with the hunters there was a new baby at
-our house and one at Bony's house, and they had brought them. And that
-wasn't the worst--they were both girls. So we had done worse than
-nothing, because if we had left Doctor Miller alone he might, anyway,
-have brought boys.
-
-
-
-
-IX. THE MURDERERS
-
-Well, when we came to find out about it the new babies at my and Bony's
-houses weren't near as hard to bear as we had thought they would be.
-One reason was because they came at vacation time, when we didn't have
-to go to school, and the other was that they didn't make us take them
-out in baby carriages like we was afraid they would. One thing was that
-they was too fresh yet, and the other was that they wouldn't trust them
-to such young hoodlums anyway.
-
-At our house Fan spent most of her time loving the new kid, and Lucy and
-Mamie Little didn't do much but hang around and coax to hold the baby a
-minute, and Toady Williams just hung around and waited for Mamie Little
-to come out and play. I guessed that I would never have anything to do
-with Mamie Little again, but that when I got a new girl it would be a
-different kind, like Scratch-Cat. I wished I hadn't got religion, or
-anything that I'd got because of Mamie Little.
-
-A lot of us got religion at once, because that's how you usually get it.
-It makes it easier and you don't feel so foolish going up front.
-
-Well, they had this revival at our church the winter before the vacation
-I'm telling about. When they had it I was having Mamie Little for my
-secret girl and she went up in front, so I got religion and went up in
-front too. But you see I'd ought to have waited, because it made me
-feel a lot worse about murdering a man. Or maybe it didn't. I guess
-Swatty felt almost as bad as I did. We both felt awful bad. Swatty
-didn't go to our church, he went to the German Lutheran church, and
-nobody in that church ever got religion, they just had it. At our church
-we didn't have it until we got it, and mostly we got it when there was a
-revival meeting, and that was when I got it.
-
-So, I guess it was a lot worse for me when the thing happened that I'm
-going to tell you, because I had religion and Swatty hadn't.
-
-Well, the way it happened was this way: I'm awfully croupy. I don't know
-anybody that's as croupy as I am, so they rub hot goose grease on me
-when I get to honking and then make me swallow a lot out of a spoon, and
-that was all right when I was little enough so they could hold my nose,
-but after I got big Mother said she wouldn't struggle with me another
-time, and she changed and gave me a dime a spoonful. So I took the old
-stuff because if I hadn't took it Father would have licked me, and I'd
-have had to take it anyway. So I got a dime a spoonful. So I bought a
-target rifle with the money, when I had enough, and then the rifle got
-broke and I couldn't get it fixed until my mother gave me three dollars
-because I had been such a good boy when the new baby came.
-
-So then all the kids were coming over to my yard to shoot all the
-time--Swatty and Bony and the whole lot of them--and we shot at tin
-cans and things against the barn, but we weren't any of us very good
-shooters. I guess Swatty was the best. Or maybe I was about as good as
-he was.
-
-That was all right, and I guess nobody cared anything, only Mother
-was always putting her head out of the window and saying, “Boys, do
-be careful with that gun!” So one day Swatty come over, like he always
-does, and he says, “Say! we can't shoot the rifle any more!” And I says,
-“Why can't we?” And Swatty says, “They made a law that we can't.” And I
-says, “Who made a law that we can't?” And Swatty says, “The city council
-made a law that nobody can shoot inside the city limits.”
-
-So I guessed they had, because that winter they had made a law we
-couldn't slide down Third Street hill, and if they made a law like that
-they might make almost any kind of a law. So Swatty says, “If we want to
-shoot we've got to go outside the city limits.” And I said--I don't know
-what I said but I guess I said that was so.
-
-So, anyway, we didn't shoot in my yard any more, and that wasn't our
-fault but the fault of the city council. So that was one of the things
-we thought of after we killed the man; but it didn't seem to make us
-feel much better, like you'd think it would. I guess there wasn't
-anything could make us feel better. Nobody wants to be hanged unless he
-has to be, I guess.
-
-Well, it was vacation time, anyway, and we didn't want to shoot all the
-time because part of the time we wanted to do something else. Only when
-we wanted to go rowing on the river we took the rifle along anyway,
-because sometimes we rowed up beyond the city limits and then it was all
-right to shoot if we wanted to.
-
-So one day me and Swatty and Bony we went up the river in a skiff. We
-always hired a skiff from old Higgins because it was ten cents an hour
-or three hours for a quarter from him, and Rogers charged ten cents
-straight. So when we got into the skiff and Higgins gave us the oars he
-said, “Well, boys, have a good time, but don't shoot anybody with that
-cannon.” And we said, all right, we wouldn't. We took turns rowing, like
-we always did, and pretty soon we got to the Slough, and we rowed in
-and shot at turtles awhile, and then Bony said, “Gee! the mosquitoes are
-eating me up,” and they were eating all of us up, so we floated out onto
-the river and just floated. We threw the bailing can over and shot at
-it until it went down, and just about then we were going past the old
-shanty boat, and we began to shoot at that.
-
-It was up on the mud and partly sunk into it and the hull was so rotten
-you could kick a hole in it, and it wasn't anybody's anyway. Everybody
-had thrown stones at the windows in the side and broken them and nobody
-cared, I guess; but nobody had broken all the windows in the end toward
-the river, because that end was toward the river, so we shot at the
-windows. At first we couldn't hit them and we drifted below, but we
-rowed back again and in closer and then we all hit them. We hit them a
-lot of times, until they were all smashed out, and we began to say who
-had hit the most times, and Swatty said, “Let's go ashore and see who is
-the best shot. I bet I am.” So we went.
-
-So we shot at cans and things, and Swatty was the best shot, and then
-nobody said anything but we just thought we'd go on the shanty boat for
-fun. We climbed up on the little front deck, and Bony was first, and
-Swatty was next, and then I come. So Bony pushed the door open and
-looked in, and he stood there looking in and didn't move, and then, all
-at once he made a sound--well, I don't know what kind of sound it was.
-It was a frightened sound. I guess it was like the sound a rabbit makes
-when you step on it by mistake. And then he turned, and his face was so
-scary it frightened me and Swatty and we turned and jumped off the front
-deck onto the railroad bank; but Bony jumped sideways off the deck and
-landed on the cracked crust that was over the mud the shanty boat was
-stuck in. He went right through the crust and over his knees in the
-mud, but me and Swatty was so scared we started to run down the railroad
-track as fast as we could.
-
-Pretty soon we stopped, because the sand between the ties was full of
-sandburs, and then we didn't know what we were running for, so we looked
-back. Bony was sort of swimming on top of the mud crust and he was
-crying as hard as he could cry, but not loud. He was trying to get away
-from the shanty boat as fast as he could, and every time he got a foot
-out of the mud and tried to step he broke through the crust again, so he
-sort of laid on the crust and bellied along. He looked like an alligator
-swimming in the mud, and he was crying like an alligator, too. Only I
-guess it is crocodiles that cry. Bony was trying to get to the skiff,
-and Swatty knew that if Bony got there before we did he would get in
-the skiff and go home and leave us. So we picked the sandburs out of our
-feet and tried to hurry, but Bony got to the skiff and got in and pushed
-off.
-
-We ran and hollered, but he didn't stop. He was so frightened that the
-oars jumped out from between the pins almost every time he pulled on
-them, and he was crying hard; but he rowed the boat pretty fast because
-he was working his arms so hard. Swatty and me hollered at him and told
-him what we would do to him if he didn't come back, but it didn't do any
-good. He was too scared. All he wanted to do was to get away.
-
-Well, we tried to throw stones at him, to bring him back, but we
-couldn't throw that far and we just stood and watched him row down-river
-as hard as he could.
-
-“Say, what do you think he saw in there?” Swatty said after while.
-
-“I don't know what he saw,” I said. “What do you think he saw?”
-
-“I don't know what he saw, but I'm going to see what he saw,” Swatty
-said.
-
-Swatty was always like that. If anybody saw anything he wanted to see it
-too.
-
-“I ain't afraid to see it,” he said.
-
-“Well, I ain't afraid if you ain't afraid,” I said.
-
-So we climbed up on the deck of the shanty house again. We climbed up
-careful and went to the door and peeked in.
-
-As soon as I had the first peek I turned, and jumped off the deck and
-started to run, but Swatty just stood and looked. I hollered at him. I
-guess I was crying, too.
-
-“Swatty! Swatty, come on! Oh, Swatty, come on, Swatty!” I hollered.
-
-He turned his head and looked at me and then he looked back into the
-shanty boat. All he said to me was, “Shut up!”
-
-I guess you know what we saw when we looked into the shanty boat. There
-was almost a whole page about it in the paper later on. He--the man--was
-lying there on the floor of the shanty boat in the broken bottles and
-straw and the dry mud that had sifted in when the river was high. He was
-lying on his face with his feet to the door and he was sort of crumpled
-up with one hand stretched out. He was dead. One side of his face was
-up and there was blood from the place in his forehead where he had been
-shot. It was on the floor.
-
-I didn't dare run away without Swatty, because I guess I was as scared
-as Bony had been, and I didn't dare go back to the shanty boat, so I
-just stood, and all at once I began to shake all over, the same as a wet
-kitten shakes in cold weather. I couldn't help shaking. I felt pretty
-sick. But most of all I was scared.
-
-I thought Swatty was going to stand there forever, looking into the
-shanty boat, but pretty soon he went inside, and that shows he's as
-brave as he always brags he is. I wouldn't have gone in for a million
-billion quadrillion dollars. In a minute he come out and he dropped off
-the end of the deck and sort of crouched low. He kept crouched low as he
-come up the railroad bank, and he crouched low when he dodged down the
-other side, so I crouched low, too, and went down the other side of the
-railroad bank. And when Swatty come up to me I saw he was scared, too,
-but he wasn't scared the way I was. I was just scared because I'd seen
-a dead man, but Swatty was frightened.
-
-There was a lot of tall ragweed and a pile of railroad ties in the
-bottom of the cut along side the railroad track, and Swatty went right
-in close to the pile of ties where the ragweed hid everything and he sat
-down there. He looked pretty frightened.
-
-“Well,” he said, “we killed him.”
-
-That was the first I'd thought that we'd killed the dead man; but the
-minute Swatty said it I knew we had killed him by shooting through the
-windows of the shanty boat. I couldn't shake any more than I had been
-shaking so I just kept on shaking like I had been, but I got sicker at
-my stomach. When I was through being sick Swatty he got mad.
-
-“Stop shaking like that!” he said. “We've gone and done it and we've
-got to think what we 're going to do about it. Stop shaking and help me
-think.”
-
-“I c-c-c-can't stop sh-sh-sh-shaking!” I said. “I w-w-w-would if I
-c-c-c-c-could, w-w-w-wouldn't I?”
-
-“Well, you've got to stop shaking,” Swatty said. “If you go shaking all
-around town like that everybody will know we did it. If you don't stop
-shaking I'll lick you!”
-
-I began to cry. I didn't cry because Swatty said he'd lick me but
-because I just had to cry. So Swatty tried to make me stop shivering.
-He took the backbone of my neck in his thumb and fingers and pinched
-it hard, because you can stop hiccoughs that way; but it didn't do any
-good. So he got madder.
-
-“What are you shaking for, anyway?” he asked. “I ain't shaking.”
-
-“W-well, y-y-you h-h-haven't got r-r-religion,” I said. “It's w-w-worse
-for anybody that's g-g-g-got r-r-religion to kill anybody.”
-
-Well, he hauled off and hit me. He hit me in the jaw, and then he said
-what I wouldn't let anybody say about my getting religion, and I fought
-him. Then we stopped fighting and I was still shaking, but not so bad.
-
-“Yah! Little sissy boy got religion!” he said. “Little sissy boy went
-and got religion 'cause he's stuck on Mamie Little!”
-
-Well, that did make me mad! I lit into him, and we had another good
-fight, and pretty soon he said, “'Nuff!” and I stopped. So I started to
-tell him what I'd do to him if he ever said that again. I was crying, I
-guess.
-
-“That's all right,” he said; “I just said it on purpose. I just said it
-to make you fight. You ain't shaking now.” And I wasn't. I'd got so mad
-I forgot to shake. So, as Swatty had just said what he said on purpose,
-I didn't care. So I stopped crying.
-
-“Now you've got some sense,” Swatty said. “Don't you get that way again.
-We don't want to get hung, do we?”
-
-I hadn't thought of that. Of course they would hang us if they found out
-we'd killed the man in the shanty boat, and it made us pretty sober. I
-guess I began to cry again.
-
-“Oh, shut up!” Swatty said. “If you're going to blubber all the time,
-and not try to help, I wish I'd killed that man all by myself. You shut
-up and try to help me think what to do, or I'll go and tell everybody
-you killed him.”
-
-“You won't do it!” I said.
-
-“Yes, I will,” he said back. “And I'll prove it on you. You didn't look
-at that man and I did, and I know what kind of a man he is.”
-
-“What kind of a man is he?” I asked.
-
-“He's a tough kind,” Swatty said. “And if you don't shut up your bawling
-I'll say you and him got into an argument about religion, and you shot
-him because he wouldn't come and join in with you and get it. And folks
-will believe that, because you've just got it, and there ain't any
-other reason why any of us should kill him. I haven't got religion,
-have I?”
-
-“Well,” I said, for I saw Swatty could do like he said, “what are we
-going to do, anyway?”
-
-“We've got to keep from getting arrested and put into jail and hung,”
- Swatty said. “I don't know how, but we've got to. We've got to be
-careful, and not let anybody know we shot that man. If they find it out
-they'll hang us sure.”
-
-“We didn't mean to shoot him,” I said. “We had a right to shoot outside
-the city limits.”
-
-“We didn't have a right to shoot anybody,” said Swatty. “We had a right
-to see if there was anybody in the shanty boat before we shot at it.
-We'll all three be hung if they find out we did it.”
-
-Well, I had an idea just then, but I didn't say it to Swatty. I didn't
-really think it, it just come. I knew as soon as I thought it that I
-wouldn't be so mean, and I knew Swatty wouldn't either. But it would
-have been easy enough for me and Swatty to say Bony did it. We was two
-to one. Maybe I would have said it if I hadn't got religion. But it made
-me feel better for a while to think that I'd thought it and hadn't said
-it. So the next thing I thought was that it would be mighty noble and
-true and religious if I'd go to the mayor or somebody and just say: “I
-killed a man up there at the old shanty boat on the river, but nobody is
-to blame but me. Swatty ain't and Bony ain't, so go ahead and hang me.
-I did it, and it was my target rifle.” But I thought that if I was going
-to be hung I'd not feel as lonesome if Swatty and Bony got hung too.
-Anyway, Swatty started to talk, and I forgot it.
-
-“If Bony hadn't gone off with the skiff,” he said, “we'd be all right.
-We'd get in the skiff and row out to the middle of the river and lay
-flat in it, and nobody would see us. We could float down the river as
-far as we wanted to and hide in a cane-brake or somewhere. Or maybe,
-we'd row up the Missouri and hide in the Rocky Mountains. If they got
-after us we could turn bandits or something.”
-
-“You could,” I said, “but I couldn't.”
-
-“I forgot you'd got religion,” he said. “You'd have to start a ranch.
-But we can't do that, because Bony went off with the skiff.”
-
-What we decided was that nobody would be apt to find the dead man that
-day. Maybe they'd never find him. Unless somebody like us happened to
-go into the old shanty boat he might never get found, and then, the next
-spring, when the Mississippi had her spring flood, or that same fall,
-if the water got high enough, we could come up and float the old shanty
-boat out of the mud and take her out in the river and sink her. We
-talked over a lot of things, and the more we talked the more it didn't
-seem so bad. It looked as if we had a chance not to get hung, after all.
-
-I wanted to cut across the cornfield to the hill and go home that way,
-so that if anybody saw us they'd think we had been up in the woods and
-not near the shanty boat, but Swatty said that wouldn't do because our
-footprints would show in the cornfield, and detectives would trace us by
-them if they started out to find who murdered the man. He said it would
-be more innocent to go right down the railroad track, and if anybody
-asked us anything to say we hadn't been as far up as the shanty boat,
-and that Bony had got a stomach ache or something and gone home first
-with the boat. So we did that. We walked down the track. We talked about
-the murder all the time, and the more we talked the surer we were nobody
-would think we did it.
-
-Well, we got to my gate all right, and Swatty and me crossed our hearts
-we wouldn't say anything about killing the man, and I tried to think
-how I'd act so nobody at home would think anything different than they
-always did, and I went into the house. It was pretty late. They were
-eating supper. So I went in and sat down, and Father scolded me a
-little for being late, like he does nearly every day, and then he said
-something else.
-
-“Son,” he said, “after supper you'll get that target rifle of yours and
-turn it over to me.”
-
-Well, I almost jumped out of my skin, I was so scared.
-
-“Now, you needn't begin any of that,” he said. “I mean what I say. Do
-you know who was shot today?”
-
-I was so scared I couldn't swallow my piece of meat. I choked on it.
-
-“No, sir!” I said, pretty weakly.
-
-“Well, Benny Judge shot his little sister,” said my father. “Only by the
-greatest luck she wasn't killed. As it is she has a bullet in her arm.
-Now, mind! I want that rifle.”
-
-Well, I was glad and I was scared stiff, too.
-
-I had left the target rifle on the rocks up by the shanty boat. I began
-to shake again because I knew somebody would find the target rifle and
-it had my initials on it, and when they found the dead man they would
-know I killed him. I guess my teeth chattered. Anyway I couldn't think
-of anything at all. I just wished I was dead, because after supper
-Father would want the rifle, and I didn't have it, and some one would
-find it and I would be hung.
-
-Then Mother saw me shake, and she said, “What's the matter? Are you
-cold?”
-
-“Y-y-yes'm,” I said. Well, it wasn't a lie. I was sort of cold.
-
-“Father, the poor child is sick,” Mother said. “See him chatter his
-teeth.”
-
-So Father looked at me. “Malaria,” he said. So he asked me if I had been
-up to the Slough, because he had been reading in a magazine about Slough
-mosquitoes biting you and giving you malaria. I didn't know what to say.
-It didn't look good to say I had been up there so near the old shanty
-boat, and I didn't like to lie about it, because I was on probation
-for getting religion. So I didn't say anything. I just shivered and
-chattered my teeth.
-
-“Huh!” my father said. “I knew well enough something was the matter with
-that boy when he got religion. He's had this malaria spell coming on.
-Put him to bed and give him a big dose of quinine.” And then he said to
-me, “Just let me catch you up near that Slough again, understand? Get to
-bed, and quick! This family is just one thing after another!”
-
-I got to bed pretty quick and Mother gave me one of the big capsules.
-She heated the scorched blanket at the kitchen stove and wrapped me up
-in it and put all the bed covers she could find on top of me. I started
-to sweat right away. So she said, “If you want anything I'll leave the
-door open and you can call me,” and she went down again. She told Father
-she guessed I was pretty sick because I looked like it, and all he said
-was, “Huh! boys!” And I guessed he was right, and I made up my mind
-to live a better and truer life, but I kept thinking of the man we had
-killed. I never sweat so much in my life.
-
-All at once the doorbell rang and I sat right up in bed. I thought the
-police had come for me. But it wasn't the police; it was something just
-as bad--almost. It was old Higgins, the skiff man. He was talking to
-Father. He asked him if I had got home all right. So Father said I had,
-and I was sick and in bed. Then old Higgins said, “Well, I don't know
-what to make of it. Nobody brought my skiff back. Your boy and two other
-boys hired it off of me, and when it got late and they didn't bring it
-back I got frightened. You ask him where he left my skiff, and if
-they lost it somebody's got to pay me back for it.” Well, I was mighty
-scared. I guessed Bony had been so scared he had upset the skiff and got
-drowned, and maybe me and Swatty would get hung for that, too, though we
-did throw rocks at Bony to try to get him to come back. But, anyway, me
-and Swatty would have to tell why Bony had gone off in the skiff alone,
-and then they would know everything, and take us to jail and hang us. I
-crawled down under the covers and pretended to be asleep, but it wasn't
-any use, because Father shook me by the shoulder.
-
-“Now, what?” he said, cross. “Here's Higgins, the skiff man, and he says
-you hired a skiff and didn't bring it back. What's the meaning of all
-this? And are you putting on this malaria on this account? Explain,
-young man!”
-
-So I sat up and I said, “Bony took it.”
-
-“Come, now, explain!” my father said.
-
-“Well, we was up the river,” I said, “and me and Swatty and Bony got out
-of the skiff and--and we went ashore. So--so--then me and Swatty, we run
-down the railroad track a little way and--and when we looked back Bony
-was going to get into the skiff, and we hollered for him to wait for us,
-but he wouldn't. He got into it and rowed away.”
-
-“And left you there?”
-
-“Yes, sir.”
-
-I guess he didn't believe it. I guess he thought I was just trying to
-put it onto Bony, to get out of it myself. He forgot I'd got religion, I
-guess. So he snapped his fingers the way he does when he's mad.
-
-“Get out of that bed and get into your clothes and make haste about
-it!” he said, and I said, “Yes, sir!” and I got out of bed right away. I
-dressed quick.
-
-Mother cried because it was wrong to make a sick boy dress and go over
-to Bony's house out of a sweat and I'd catch pneumonia; but I had to
-go. So nobody said anything on the way over, except Mr. Higgins tried to
-talk about what nice weather we were having, but Father wouldn't talk.
-I didn't like to go, because--well, I thought all Bony's folks would be
-crying because he was drowned when we got there; but of course if you
-think about it, they wouldn't know. So when we got to their house they
-weren't crying, but Mr. Booth--he was Bony's father--just come to the
-door in his socks and said, “Well, what is it now?” because I was there,
-and he knew something was the matter or I wouldn't be there with my
-father. So Father said, “Did your son come home?”
-
-“Yes, he come home,” Mr. Booth said, “but he ain't well, and Ma put him
-to bed.”
-
-I was glad he wasn't drowned, anyway. Unless he'd told about the dead
-man, and then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he had been drowned.
-So Father and Mr. Higgins told about the skiff, and Mr. Booth sent
-Bony's ma to up ask Bony. Pretty soon she came down.
-
-“He's pretty sick,” she said. “He's complaining of pains in his arms and
-back and he's shaking like he had the ague; but I hope not, because his
-temp'ature ain't high. I guess maybe he caught a chill. And he tied the
-skiff under the creek bridge. He left the oars in it. But he shall never
-again play with those two boys! Never again! The idea of them running
-off and leaving my poor child to row home all alone!”
-
-Well, that was a lie, but I wasn't sore at Bony because he's a coward
-and it was better for him to tell a lie like that than to blab about the
-dead man. Anyway, a fellow has to tell some lies until he gets religion.
-After that it's different.
-
-“So you've been lying to me again!” Father said to me, but I didn't say
-anything. Saying it was a lie didn't make it a lie, and all he could do
-was lick me, anyway. But he didn't lick me, because he thought maybe
-I did have malaria because I'd got religion. I guess that was what he
-thought. So Mr. Higgins said, “Never mind, I'll get the skiff, but it
-will be about a dollar.” So Father paid him and said he would take it
-out of my allowance; but he hardly ever paid me my allowance, anyway,
-so that was all right. He just gave me an allowance so he could say he
-wouldn't pay it to me, I guess. Anyway, we went home.
-
-Well, I stayed awake for hours, thinking about the murder and what we
-had better do about it, but maybe it was only a few minutes, and the
-next morning Swatty came over before I was out of bed. He waited for me
-in the side yard until I come down.
-
-“Well,” he said, “have you thought of anything to do?”
-
-I hadn't thought of anything except maybe I'd better go to the minister
-and tell him all about it. So Swatty said if I did that he would knock
-my head off, and I knew he would, if he could.
-
-“Well, have you thought of anything, then?” I asked him.
-
-So he told me he had sat up all night thinking about it. He said he
-had paced the floor with his hands behind him and his brow knotted
-in thought throughout the still hours of the night until cockcrow. I
-thought he was lying, but I didn't tell him so. I told him I went to
-sleep, and I told him about Bony and Mr. Higgins. I told him about the
-rifle we had left on the rocks. He said that complicated matters, but we
-would have to make the best of it.
-
-Then he showed me the braided horsehair bridle he had in his pocket that
-his uncle had brought back from Texas, and the wooden tobacco pipe
-he had in the other pocket. He said we might have gone to Texas, only
-somebody in Texas might recognize the bridle and know it was the one his
-uncle had had, and then know him and connect him up with the murder in
-the shanty boat, so we would go to Montana or maybe New Mexico. He was
-n't sure which we would go to, but that it would be better to start
-right away.
-
-Well, I didn't like to leave home and never come back until I was a big
-man with a beard, and the murder was forgotten about, but it seemed the
-only thing to do. I talked and Swatty talked, and it seemed the only way
-we could keep from being hung, because “murder will out,” as it says in
-our reader. I only had twenty-five cents that I hadn't paid Mr. Higgins
-for the skiff, and Swatty only had fourteen cents. We knew that was
-n't nearly enough money. We didn't know what Bony had, but afterward
-we found he only had a dime. But Swatty said we could get work to do
-in some of the places we would get to, and we could steal green com and
-roast it--only he would have to steal it, because it wouldn't be right
-for me.
-
-We thought the best thing to do would be to start out of our back gate
-and go due west, and keep going west until we came to Montana or New
-Mexico, or wherever we got to, only we had to get the rifle first,
-because if we left it, it would be evidence against us, and anyway we
-might kill some game with it. We had it all fixed up how we would do,
-and just then Bony came over the back fence, and we told it all over
-again. We didn't think he would go with us, but he said he would.
-
-So we talked it all over, and it wasn't like any other time we had ever
-talked anything over. Most times we just talked about running away but
-we didn't mean it, but this time it was a mighty serious thing and we
-meant it. Other times when we talked we were afraid to run away, but
-this time we were afraid not to. It was almost noon when we got ready
-to go, and just as we were going Mother saw us and called us back. She
-asked me if we were going to the woods, and we were, so I said we
-were, and she said we oughtn't to go without lunch, so she made us
-sandwiches, and we were glad to have them. I said “Good-bye, Mother,”
- and she said “Good-bye, son,” and she didn't know that maybe it was the
-last time she'd ever say it to me, but I knew it because maybe she would
-grow old and die before I ever came back.
-
-Well, we started off. We didn't talk much--even Swatty didn't. We went
-past his barn, and he went in to say good-bye to his dog, but we didn't
-dare take him along, because somebody might know us by him, so he whined
-and cried when we went away. We didn't say anything much until we got to
-the city limits and then Swatty said, “Well, anyway, now the town police
-can't touch us, because we are out of town, and they can't touch anybody
-out of town”, and Bony began to cry.
-
-But he didn't cry loud--he just sort of sniggered to himself and wiped
-his eyes with the back of his hand. I guess maybe I cried, too, but not
-very loud, either.
-
-If it hadn't been for being hung I would have gone back, and I would
-have told the minister all about killing the man, because I kept
-thinking about Mamie Little and that some other boy would play with her
-and grow up and marry her, and maybe I'd never see her again, even if he
-didn't marry her. Swatty was the only one that didn't cry a little. He
-didn't have to, because he let on to be mad at us for being mushies, and
-he swore instead. He swore at me and Bony, and I could have kept from
-crying, too, if I could have swore, but I couldn't because I gave it up
-when I got religion.
-
-After we got beyond the houses that are beyond the city limits we went
-across the vacant lots and across the old fair grounds and down over the
-hill. We got down to the river road and climbed over the fence and got
-under the bob-wire fence on the other side of the road and went through
-the cornfield. We forgot about our footprints.
-
-When we got to the edge of the cornfield Bony wouldn't go any farther.
-He was scared to go any nearer the dead man. Swatty and me crawled under
-the wires and went across the railroad track, and before we were across
-them we dodged back into the cut alongside the track, and Swatty dropped
-flat in the weeds. So I dropped flat, too. The reason was that there
-were eight or ten men on the front deck of the shanty house, and I don't
-know how many more inside.
-
-They had found the man we had murdered.
-
-We just lay there and held our breath. I couldn't think of anything, I
-was so scared again. I just remembered how “murder will out,” and how
-a murderer will always come back to where he murdered anybody, and that
-there we were, and that as soon as they saw us they'd know we were the
-murderers, because we had come back. I don't know what Swatty was doing,
-and I didn't know what I was doing, but I guess as soon as I was able
-I-started to try to dig a hole in the railroad embankment with my finger
-nails, to crawl into and hide, because that was what I was doing when I
-heard the men come up the other side of the embankment.
-
-They were coming up from the shanty boat, and one of the men was saying,
-“Steady now! Keep that door level, can't you?” So I couldn't dig any
-more. My fingers wouldn't work. My arms and legs felt as if they were
-full of cold ice water, and I couldn't lift up my hands to put my hat
-on tighter, which I wanted to do because I could feel my hair lifting up
-and lifting my hat up. I didn't think about being hung or anything, but
-just how awful it would be if the men let the door tip and rolled the
-murdered man down on top of us. I guess I ought to have thought of how
-innocent I was, but I didn't. I didn't even think of being religious. I
-just felt my backbone creep and my hair lift up and my arms and legs get
-colder and colder.
-
-We heard the men carrying the dead man away. I couldn't move, and I
-guess I would never have dared to move again if it hadn't been for
-Swatty. As soon as we couldn't hear the men any more Swatty lifted his
-head and crawled up the embankment and looked. I wouldn't have done it
-for a million billion quadrillion dollars. He looked, and when he saw
-they weren't thinking of us, but were all looking at the dead man on
-the door and going away from us down the railroad track he scrabbled up
-the rest of the embankment and scrabbled across the track and down the
-other side. He was back right away, with the target rifle, and then he
-told me to get up and get away from there, but I couldn't get up. So he
-kicked me two or three times hard, and when he kicked me on my hip bone
-I got mad and forgot to be so scared and got up. We ran through the
-cornfield and got Bony, and all three of us got across the road and ran
-up the hillside into the woods as hard as we could run.
-
-I don't know how many miles we ran. We ran until we had to fall down
-because our legs wouldn't work any more. We sat in the bushes awhile and
-rested, and then we went on, but we walked mostly. We only ran once in
-a while. We came to a road we didn't know, but it went sort of west;
-and we went on down that road a long way and that night we slept in a
-haystack--not because it was cold but to be hid. The next morning
-we went on again, and before noon we were mighty hungry. Bony was
-hungriest, and he cried a lot, and I cried a little, but Swatty was
-willing to fight us whenever we wanted to stop and rest too long,
-because it wasn't safe yet. We were a long way from Arizona or Montana
-or wherever we were going, and it was just about the time the sheriff
-and everybody would start out to find us if they thought we were the
-murderers. We just plugged along and felt mean and tired, and I thought
-about Mother and Mamie Little a lot. I felt so bad I almost didn't care
-if they did catch me and hang me. That's the way Bony felt, too, but
-Swatty kept us going.
-
-Swatty went up to a house about supper time and asked for some bread and
-butter, and he got it and brought part of it to us. Then he made us go
-on, because he said we ought to get as far from that house as we could
-after we'd been seen there. So we went until I was ready to die, and
-we found a hayrick in a field and we were just going to hide in it when
-three men on horseback and some in a buggy--two more--came up the road
-and saw us and shouted at us.
-
-Well, we knew it was all up. The men started to climb over the fence,
-and we walked toward them because we knew we couldn't get away, and it
-was just as well to be hung as to be shot trying to run away. I guess it
-was the most awful feeling I ever had in my life.
-
-When we got up to them one of the men was Swatty's father and another
-was my minister. As soon as Swatty got there his father took him by the
-collar of his coat, and shook him and hit him on the side of the head
-and told him what he thought of him for running away and making so much
-trouble; but when he let go of him Swatty just dropped down on the grass
-and shut his eyes, because he was so played out that all he had to
-be was shook, and he went unconscious. So Bony started to cry and the
-minister said, “Shame!” and then Swatty's father got red in the face,
-and dropped on his knees beside Swatty and picked him up and kissed him.
-He cried. It was the first time I ever saw a man cry.
-
-So then I guessed I'd confess the whole thing to my minister, and I
-did. The other men were all trying to get Swatty to open his eyes and my
-minister listened to me. He listened to all of it--all about the murder
-and all. Then he put his hand on my shoulder, and he said, “You poor
-boy! And you thought I was hunting you down?” And I said, “How long will
-it be before they hang us?” And he said, “George, I hope you will never
-be hung, because that man wasn't murdered. He was a suicide, and he
-wrote a letter about it before he went to do it.” So I started to say
-how glad I was and, when I come to, I was at a farmhouse and my minister
-was trying to get me to drink some milk.
-
-So after while we went home. Father wasn't there, because he was out
-with some other folks hunting for us, but Mother and Fan and a lot of
-people were, and my minister told them all about it, and the women all
-cried to think of us three all alone with a murder on our minds and our
-legs tired, I guess, and not much to eat. But I was so tired I didn't
-care. I was so tired I didn't care who was there. I was so tired I was
-n't even glad I wasn't a murderer. Then somebody came out from behind
-the women where she had been, where they wouldn't notice her much, and
-she didn't look at me or anybody. She just said:
-
-“Well, I guess I'll go home now.”
-
-“Why, Mamie Little, have you been waiting up all this while?” my mother
-said. “You should be in bed, child.”
-
-So she didn't look at me, and I didn't look at her. She just went home.
-But then I knew I was glad I wasn't a murderer. Because I knew that
-Mamie Little wouldn't have thought I'd got religion very good if all I'd
-got let me go around murdering men in shanty boats. And I didn't want
-Mamie Little to think that about me, because--well, I didn't know why, I
-just thought it.
-
-
-
-
-X. SLIM FINNEGAN
-
-Well, I guess the nearest Swatty ever came to having a lot of money was
-the time Mr. Murphy got it and Swatty didn't. It was a thousand and five
-hundred dollars, and if Swatty didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have
-had it; and if Mamie Little didn't get it I ought to have had it; but we
-didn't any of us get it, because Mr. Murphy got it.
-
-I told you about the time Mamie Little got mad at me because I had been
-prohibition and changed over to anti-prohibition because Swatty could
-lick me, and about how her father had the prohibition newspaper. Well,
-he kept publishing in his newspaper that the saloons ought to be closed;
-so one day somebody blew up Mr. Little's house with dynamite--only it
-was gunpowder. But they called it dynamite. They called the men that
-blew up the house the dynamiters. They blew up two other houses, too,
-and that was why Mr. Murphy was in town. He was a detective. He came and
-worked in the sawmill, and nobody knew he was a detective until he got
-the money me or Swatty or Mamie Little ought to have had.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony was sitting on the empty manure bin back of our
-barn, smoking cornsilk cigarettes, and that reminded us of the time we
-were up the river smoking driftwood grapevine cigarettes, when we saw
-Slim Finnegan steal the gunpowder, and we got to talking about it.
-
-“Well, if anybody ever finds out Slim Finnegan stole it he won't stab
-me!” Swatty said; “because he wouldn't think I told on him, because I
-ain't prohibition and I never was; and I guess Slim and everybody knows
-it.”
-
-So that made me and Bony feel pretty scared, because everybody knew
-Slim Finnegan was a stabber. He'd just as soon stab you as not. I
-don't remember whether he ever had stabbed anybody; but I guess he had,
-because everybody said so. Anyway, he was always showing us the knife he
-stabbed fellers with when he wanted to stab them, and he said he'd stab
-any of us for two cents. The knife had a staghorn handle and a six-inch
-blade, with a curve in it and a spring in the back that, when you
-pressed it, snapped the blade open all ready to stab with.
-
-Once, when he met me when I was alone, he grabbed me by the neck and
-backed me against a fence post, and pulled out the knife and opened it.
-I bellered and said: “Aw, lemme alone, Slim! I never done nothin' to
-you!” And he said he knew mighty well I hadn't and that I'd better not
-try to, because he was a stabber, and if I did anything he didn't like
-he'd cut my heart out and leave it sticking to the fence post with the
-knife in it, to show fellers not to monkey with Slim Finnegan. So I said
-I'd never, never do anything he didn't want me to, and please to let me
-go. So he said, well, he guessed he'd stab me, anyway, while he had
-me; and he put the point of his knife against my stomach and leaned up
-against me, so that all he had to do was lean a little harder against
-the handle of the knife and I'd be stabbed.
-
-I thought I was going to be killed, sure. I held my breath, and my
-bones felt like water; and just then he laughed at me and bumped my head
-against the post three times and threw me down on the grass and went
-away.
-
-That was before me and Swatty and Bony saw him set the lumber yard afire
-too. After we saw him set the lumber yard afire we were all more scared
-of him than ever; even Swatty was scared of him, and said so. When we
-saw him set the lumber yard afire Slim was in our class at school; but
-he was twice as big as anybody in our room, because he only went to
-school when he wanted to and he didn't want to very often; and after the
-fire he quit going to school. I guess he went bumming for a while.
-
-The first I knew about Slim Finnegan was when I was a little bit of a
-kid and not big enough to ride belly buster or knee gut on a sled or
-slide down the big hills. I had a high sled and rode on it sitting down,
-and rode from the sidewalk into the gutter, and things like that. So my
-father got me a new sled on my birthday, a clipper sled with half-round
-irons, and it was painted red and was named Dexter. I took it out on the
-hill where the big kids were sliding and tried to ride belly buster on
-it, which is lying flat on your stomach and steering with both feet,
-like knee gut is lying on one knee and steering with the other foot, but
-the runners on my sled were so slick that when I put the sled down it
-slid away before I could get onto it.
-
-So I was trying that when Slim Finnegan came up. I hadn't ever seen him
-before, but he acted nice and said the way I was trying to get onto the
-sled wasn't the right way and he would show me how. So he took my sled
-and ran away and belly busted onto it. He went down the hill like a
-flash. I watched him until I couldn't tell which was Slim and which was
-some other feller, away down the hill, and then I couldn't tell any one
-from any other, and I waited for him to come back. One feller came up
-the hill, and then another and dozens came up, but Slim didn't come back
-with my sled; and after a while I began to blubber the way kids do, and
-a girl I didn't know took me by the arm and led me home, saying, “Don't
-cry, Georgie! Don't cry, Georgie!” all the way.
-
-So the girl told my mother somebody had stolen my sled, and that was the
-first I knew it was stolen. When my father came home he asked me what
-the boy was like that took my sled and I told him, and he went out and
-after a long time he came back and he had my sled. It was all painted
-over with fresh drab paint except where my father had scraped the paint
-off to show that it was my sled. He said: “That drunken Finnegan's dirty
-son stole it!” So that was the first I knew of Slim Finnegan.
-
-When I got old enough to play away from the house I mighty soon knew
-that Slim Finnegan was the feller that would sneak up on us little kids
-when we were playing marbles and grab up our marbles and steal them and,
-if we said anything, twist our arms behind us until we yelled. He was
-the one that would sit in the long grass out in the field when we played
-ball and, if the ball came near him, grab it up and put it in his pocket
-and laugh at us. He was the one that, if he came on us when we were
-fishing, would throw our worm can in the Slough and take the fish we had
-caught, and then swear at us. He was a sneak and a thief and a tough,
-and his father was a tough and a drunkard; and it wasn't safe to send
-your washing to Mrs. Finnegan because sometimes she got drunk and didn't
-do it for a week, and sometimes it didn't all come back.
-
-Well, Swatty said that Slim Finnegan wouldn't stab him, because he was
-anti-prohibition and Slim was too; so Bony thought maybe he'd better
-turn anti-prohibition, and he did. And I hoped Slim knew I had turned,
-but I was afraid he didn't.
-
-Well, one day that spring--but pretty late--me and Swatty and Bony went
-down to the levee and hired a skiff from Higgins like we always did;
-and we rowed across the Mississippi to the Illinois shore above the old
-ferry landing. I guess maybe we were after turtle eggs; so when we saw
-the shore was all mud Swatty said:
-
-“Let's row up to the head of the Slough and row down the Slough.”
-
-“What for?” I asked him.
-
-“Oh, just for cod!” he says. So we did.
-
-We rowed up to the place where the Slough branches off from the river,
-and there was a good deal of water in the Slough yet, so we rowed down
-the Slough until we came almost to the ferry road, and then we thought
-we would stop and get some grapevine driftwood to smoke, and we did.
-We rowed to the shore of the Slough and got out and found plenty of
-driftwood where it had lodged against the bushes and tree roots, and we
-lit up and smoked and sat awhile just doing that.
-
-Then Swatty said: “Come on! Let's go over to that sand by the powder
-house and see if there are any turtle eggs there yet.”
-
-That was a good place for turtle eggs, because the sand was hotter there
-sooner than anywhere else. It was a sort of cleared place without many
-trees or bushes, all soft sand and not very far from the ferry road.
-So we walked along down the Slough and pretty soon we came to a skiff
-pulled up on the shore. I was nearest, so I jumped into it; but Swatty
-didn't. He said:
-
-“Garsh! You'd better get out of that skiff. Some feller has just left
-that skiff there, because his footprints on the bow seat ain't dry yet.
-If he came back and seen us playing in his skiff he'd like as not give
-us good and plenty!”
-
-And that was right, because when a feller rows over from town or
-anywhere he don't like kids to fool with his skiff; because if the skiff
-got away how could he get back to town? So if they catch you in their
-skiffs they bat you a good one. So I got out of the skiff and Swatty
-went on ahead, and me and Bony followed; and we come to the sandy place
-by the powder house.
-
-A powder house is a little square shack about as big as a closet,
-covered with sheet iron and painted red for danger. This was the only
-one on the Illinois side, but there were two more on the Iowa side, up
-the river from town a good ways; and the reason they were so far from
-town was because the wholesale grocers sold powder, but the city didn't
-allow them to keep any inside the city limits. When they sold some they
-sent over to get it. The powder houses were painted with big letters
-to say Danger! and that nobody must shoot at them or build a fire near
-them, or they might explode. So that was why this one was in the middle
-of the sandy place sand can't burn like grass does.
-
-So we come through the bushes to where we could see the powder house and
-we all stopped short right there, for there was Slim Finnegan coming
-out of the powder house with a bag over his shoulder, with what anybody
-could tell was an iron powder keg in it. As soon as we saw him he saw us
-and we dodged back into the bushes and ran. We ran pretty far, and then
-we stopped and listened and didn't hear anything; so we hid down behind
-a log and waited. We knew that if Slim Finnegan found us he'd stab us or
-something. Anyway, we thought he would. Me and Bony did. I guess Swatty
-did too.
-
-After we had waited what seemed like a couple of hours--but I guess
-it was about half a minute--Swatty put his head up above the log and
-looked, and didn't see anything. Then he got up and went round the log
-and started to go back to the powder house. Bony didn't say anything,
-because he was too scared, but I yelled, “Swatty! Swatty!” in a whisper,
-because I wanted him to come back; but he just turned and motioned us to
-be still, and he went on. He walked as careful as he could. Pretty soon
-he came back and dropped down behind the log again.
-
-“It's Slim Finnegan, all right,” he said--only he said “orl right,” like
-he always does; “and he's stealing a keg of powder”--only he said it
-sort of like “kerg of powder.”
-
-“What'd you see, Swatty?” I whispered.
-
-“I seen him shift the bag from one shoulder to the other,” Swatty said,
-“and I could see the ridges on the keg, all right! If we wanted to we
-could tell the police and they'd put him in jail.”
-
-“Aw, don't, Swatty!” I said. “If you do that he'll wait until he gets
-out and then he'll stab all of us. Aw, don't tell the police, Swatty!”
-
-“Maybe I will and maybe I won't,” Swatty said. “I ain't made up my mind
-yet what I'll do. I ain't afraid of his old stabbin' knife, I tell you
-that! He can't scare me! There ain't any Slim Finnegan that ever lived
-could scare me. If he pulled his old frog stabber on me I'd--”
-
-He stopped short and I saw him put out one hand and grab the log, and
-his face looked like a dead man's, and then I looked up from the callus
-I was fixing on my foot and I saw Slim Finnegan too. He was standing
-right in front of us with a pistol in his hand and the pistol was
-pointed right at us. He had a mean-looking face, sort of foxy and sort
-of sneery, and now it had a sort of grin on it, and it was ugly. It was
-the kind of grin he had when he twisted a little kid's arm and made
-him scream. He was just like he always was, sort of muddy-haired and
-yellowfaced and slouchy in the shoulders, and tobacco juice in the
-corners of his mouth. He looked just the way he always looked when he
-was going to have some fun hurting somebody.
-
-I felt pretty sick, I felt hot in the stomach, as if a bullet had
-already made a hot hole there. I sort of twitched in different places as
-each place got to thinking it was the place the bullet was going to hit.
-I don't know what Bony did; I had all I wanted to do without thinking of
-anybody else. All of a sudden Slim opened his dirty mouth and swore at
-us the worst anybody ever heard.
-
-“Get up out of there, you”--something--“rats!” he said in the meanest
-voice he had. “Get up!”
-
-So we got up.
-
-“You get along there, now!” he ordered, swearing some more; and he waved
-us where to go.
-
-We didn't say a word, not even Swatty. We just went; and instead of
-thinking I felt the bullet coming into my stomach I thought I felt it
-coming into the joints of my back. I put my hand behind me to sort of
-help stop it if it came. That way he sent us through the brush to the
-sandy place. He walked us toward the powder house, and then, all at
-once, he shouted at us to throw down our grapevine cigarettes. He asked
-us if we wanted to blow him to hell. So we threw them down.
-
-Then he came up to me and hit me on the side of the head and knocked me
-down in the sand, and threw Bony on top of me, and slapped Swatty so
-he staggered; but Swatty didn't fall. He swore back at Slim, and Slim
-slapped him again and knocked him down. For a million dollars I would
-n't have sworn back at a stabber that had a pistol; but that's how
-Swatty is. Anyway, he was the only one of us that could swear good
-enough to make it worth while swearing back.
-
-Well, Slim had left the door of the powder house open and when he had
-us all knocked down he came over and kicked at us, and I was the one
-he kicked. He swore all the time, a steady stream, and it was the
-thoroughest swearing I ever heard. It sounded like business. Then he
-jerked Swatty up and slung him toward the powder house and slung him
-inside, and then he took me and Bony and slung us the same way. He slung
-us all into the powder house.
-
-“I'll teach you to go blattin' about me when you see me!” he said.
-“Dirty little rats! I'll learn you a lesson! You 'll never come your
-sneakin' spy in' on me again! You'll have enough when I get through with
-you this time. You want to know what I'm goin' to do with you?”
-
-Well, we did sort of want to know, but we didn't say so.
-
-“I'm goin' to lock you in there,” he said; “and I'm goin' to leave you
-in there to starve, like the dirty sneaks you are. I'll teach you to
-go tellin' lies about me! You'd go and say I stole that can of powder,
-wouldn't you? Well, I didn't steal it--see? I bought it. I bought it
-and they sent me over to get it. It's none of your business, anyway. You
-sneakin' rats!”
-
-Bony started to cry. Slim told him to shut up, and he did. He scowled at
-us.
-
-“No, by”--something--he said, swearing; “starving is too good for
-tattle-tellin' rats like you. Somebody might come and let you out. I
-know what I'm goin' to do to you. I'm goin' to lock you in and then I'm
-goin' to set a fire and blow you to a million pieces. I'll blow you up,
-like the sneakin' rats you are!”
-
-I can't make it sound the way it sounded to us, because I can't swear
-the way he did. He swore, to show he meant it, and then he slammed the
-iron-covered door and we heard the iron bar scrape as he put it across
-the door, and we heard the padlock click into the staple. We were in the
-dark, darker dark than I was ever in before. Bony began to cry sort of
-funny, like a sick animal with a voice that was too weak to cry very
-good. All I can remember was that I put out my hands and felt Swatty and
-hung onto his coat with both hands.
-
-I hung on and held my breath and waited for the explosion to come. We
-heard Slim cracking sticks across his knee; we could hear the sticks
-snap. Then we heard him piling the sticks against the outside of the
-powder house, and pretty soon we heard scratch! scratch!--like a match
-on a box. It was the hardest waiting for anything I ever did. Waiting to
-be blown up is always like that, I guess.
-
-The place where he was piling the sticks was one of the front corners
-of the powder house, and there wasn't so very much powder in the house,
-and what there was was in different piles, for the different kinds
-and sizes of kegs. All of a sudden Swatty pushed my hands off him and
-stooped down and began feeling on the floor in the corner where the fire
-was going to be. There were four or five little kegs of powder in that
-corner and Swatty began picking them up and putting them on one of the
-other piles that was not so near the corner. I guess nobody but Swatty
-would have thought of doing that; but when he started I started, too,
-and we moved the powder as fast as we could. Then the door opened.
-
-Slim had taken off the padlock and the iron bar so quietly we hadn't
-heard him, and when he opened the door he caught us shifting the kegs.
-
-“Come out of there!” he said. “Now you know what I'll do to you if you
-go telling about me. If I ever hear you have mentioned my name, or if
-you ever say it to each other, I'll get you and bring you over here and
-finish this job right!”
-
-Well, we guessed he'd do it.
-
-“I'd have done it now,” he said, “only I don't want to blow up powder
-that don't belong to me. And here's the keg I had,” he said, throwing
-one into the powder house. “Now, you get! And if you ever say a word you
-'ll know what 'll happen to you. Get!”
-
-We ran. We ran like scared deer, and all I wanted to do was to get as
-far away as I could. We ran a long way up the Slough and then Swatty
-stopped, and I stopped because he stopped, but Bony kept on running.
-
-“Come on!” I said to Swatty. “What you stopping for?”
-
-“Hide in there,” he said, pointing to some bushes. “I'll come back.”
-
-He crouched Indian fashion and went toward the Slough and out of sight.
-It was quite awhile before he came back.
-
-“Garsh, he's a liar!” he said when he came back. “That keg of powder he
-stole wasn't the one he put back. He's got that one in his skiff yet.
-It was another one he put back.”
-
-“Swatty, you ain't goin' to tell on him, are you?” I asked.
-
-“You bet I ain't!” he said. “I just wanted to know. You bet I ain't
-going to tell; if I did he'd stab us in a minute.”
-
-Well, I guess we waited round an hour before we went home, and then we
-were mighty glad there was any of us left to go home, because we had all
-thought we were going to be blown into such little pieces nobody would
-ever find any of us again.
-
-Now about the dynamiters: After I had marched in the prohibition
-parade because Mamie Little's father was a prohibition man--there was
-prohibition in Iowa, all over, and for a while Riverbank didn't have any
-saloons because it was against the law. So Slim Finnegan's father got a
-shanty boat and started a saloon on it across the river, where there
-wasn't prohibition; and Slim helped tend bar, and then other bumboats
-started, and pretty soon I guess folks got tired of that and the saloons
-started up again in Riverbank, so people could get drunk without having
-to hire a skiff and go across the river.
-
-So three or four or five men made up their minds they would stop the
-saloons again, and they started in to do it. Mamie Little's father was
-one of them, because he printed the newspaper that wanted the saloons
-closed; so one night three or four of the men's houses were blown up
-with gunpowder, but the fuse went out on the other keg, so it didn't
-blow up its house. But three of them were blown up. That was about three
-months after me and Swatty and Bony saw Slim Finnegan steal the keg of
-powder; and right away we thought of that and that Slim Finnegan was one
-of the men that blew up the houses.
-
-Gee! We was scared! All we could think of was that now Slim Finnegan
-would come round and stab us, so we wouldn't tell on him. One whole
-afternoon we hid in the old box stall in my barn and didn't dare talk
-above a whisper; and we had my target rifle, because if Slim came we
-were going to sell our lives dearly.
-
-But that was afterward. We went to see the blown-up houses first--right
-after breakfast the morning after the night they were blown up--and they
-were all pretty bad. Everybody said it was a miracle nobody was killed,
-and how Mamie Little and her folks walked across the bare rafters
-and got out, and everything like that. So then the mayor offered five
-hundred dollars reward and the governor offered a thousand dollars more;
-and there was a big meeting downtown one night and everybody gave money
-to hire detectives to catch the dynamiters.
-
-There were lots of detectives came to Riverbank; I guess maybe there
-were a thousand. Everybody said it would be just a little while before
-the dynamiters were all caught and sent to prison; but pretty soon
-everybody began saying the detectives were no good, and that Mr. Murphy,
-who was the one the committee had hired, was just pretending it was
-worth while to detect, and that he would never get the dynamiters,
-and that all he was staying in Riverbank for was to get the money the
-committee paid him every week. All he found out, I guess, was that the
-dynamite was gunpowder and that some of it was stole from the powder
-house across the river and some from the powder houses up the river. But
-me and Swatty and Bony knew who stole it. That's why we were scared.
-
-And you bet we were mighty scared! We made a fort in the hayloft of my
-barn, with loopholes to shoot my target rifle through, so we could flee
-to it if Slim Finnegan came round, and pop him from behind the fort
-before he could stab us. Swatty got us to do that. He was going to
-show us how to fix the barn stairs with each step on a hinge so when we
-pulled a rope the steps would drop and make a slide, so that whenever
-Slim tried to come up the steps he would get just part way and then
-slide down again; but when we tried to pry the treads of the steps loose
-the nails were rusted and the treads split; so we thought we'd better
-not.
-
-We got up a signal word--only it was Swatty thought of it--so that when
-any of us saw Slim we could say it, and we'd know we had to run for
-shelter to our fort. The word was Vamoose! But it was too long, so
-Swatty shortened it. He made it Vam!
-
-We did everything we could to get ready not to be stabbed. We made
-daggers out of some kitchen knives I got in my kitchen, and Swatty
-showed us how to do it while me and Bony turned the grindstone. We
-sharpened them on both edges and made points on them and tied string
-round the handles in loops, so we could hang them on our suspender
-buttons and let them hang down inside our pants. Swatty showed me how to
-carry my target rifle stuck down one pants leg, too, so it wouldn't be
-visible. It made me walk stiff-legged, like I was lame, but Swatty
-said that was a good thing--it would throw Slim Finnegan off his guard.
-Swatty showed us how to stand back to back when Slim Finnegan attacked
-us, so we would have a dagger in each direction and he couldn't stab us
-in the backs.
-
-Whenever we could we got together and Swatty told us new ways to
-keep from being stabbed, because he said he knew a feller in
-Derlingport--where he had visited once--who was fixed just like we were,
-with a big feller after him; and Swatty remembered other things he had
-done. He didn't remember them all at once, but every day he remembered a
-new one. When he remembered them we did them. One of them was to rub
-our knee joints with sewing-machine oil, so they would be limber and we
-could run like a deer when Slim Finnegan took after us. Before he got
-through Swatty remembered a lot of things like that. We did them.
-
-Well, after a while I guess we sort of forgot about Slim Finnegan,
-because he didn't come round to stab us. Maybe it was because Swatty
-couldn't remember any more of the things the feller in Derlingport had
-done, and maybe it was because school began again. We sort of turned
-the fort in my hayloft into a dressing room for a circus. Swatty was
-ringmaster. So then Bony's birthday started to come and his mother
-thought she'd have a party for him, because they had a new parlor carpet
-and had had the dining-room papered. So she had it.
-
-At first Bony said he wasn't going to his party, because there would be
-girls there and they would want to play kissing games; but Swatty said,
-Aw! he wasn't afraid to kiss all the girls there were in the world! and
-that if Bony would go to the party he would go too. So I said if Bony
-and Swatty would go I would go. I said, Aw! I bet I wasn't afraid to
-kiss all the girls in the world, either! only I bet I wouldn't kiss
-Mamie Little if she asked me a million times, because she was mad at me.
-So we went to Bony's party.
-
-It was a pretty good party. Right at first it wasn't much because the
-girls sat on one side of the room and tried to keep their white dresses
-from getting wrinkled, and the boys sat on the other side. It wouldn't
-have been any fun at all, that first part, only Swatty had brought some
-beans in his pocket and we had some fun shooting them at the girls with
-our thumbs. Every once in a while Bony's mother would come in from the
-kitchen and clap her hands and say:
-
-“Come, now! We must all have a good time! All you boys and girls think
-of a game and play it. Bony”--only she called him Harold--“I'm surprised
-you don't start a game!”
-
-So then Bony wished he hadn't come to his party. So after a while Bony's
-mother said to the cook:
-
-“Well, Maggie, we'd better give them the refreshments now, instead of
-later; they won't liven up until they are fed.”
-
-We went into the dining-room and all sat round the big table, and we
-began to have a good time. Us kids would get up and sneak round and
-steal a girl's cake or something, and she would holler and be mad;
-and then we started in to pull their hair-bows, and maybe their hair a
-little, and they would slap at us and scold and giggle. They pretended
-they didn't like it; but they did. So pretty soon some of them got up
-and chased us round the table, and after the ice cream it turned out we
-were playing tag; and Bony's mother said:
-
-“Heaven save the furniture! But, anyway, I'm glad they've waked up!”
-
-Well, I didn't pull Mamie Little's hair, or anything. I guess I wanted
-to, but I sort of didn't dare. All she did was to make a face at me once
-across the table, and when I threw a little piece of cake at her she
-brushed it off her dress and said:
-
-“I consider that very rude!”
-
-So then we went into the parlor again and got to playing kissing
-games--Copenhagen and post-office, and games like that. So then we
-played pillow. I guess the girls like it because there isn't so much
-game and there is more kissing, and I guess the boys don't care because
-by the time you get to playing pillow they're used to it. You take a
-sofa pillow and drop it in front of the girl you want to kiss and drop
-on your knees, and she drops on her knees and then she kisses you. Then
-she takes the pillow and drops it in front of the fellow she wants to
-kiss next, and she kneels on it, and she kisses him. So I guess Kate
-White dropped the pillow in front of me and kissed me; and then I took
-the pillow and looked round the row of chairs.
-
-I saw Mamie Little and she looked as if she was trying to look as if she
-didn't want me to drop the pillow in front of her, but really did want
-me to. I didn't know what to do. Toady Williams was in the next chair to
-Mamie Little. I guess maybe I wanted Mamie Little to kiss me, but I was
-sort of scared to put the pillow in front of her. I got sort of hot. So,
-all of a sudden, I dropped the pillow right in front of her and plumped
-down on my knees. Everybody laughed and clapped their hands, except
-Toady Williams.
-
-But Mamie Little didn't plump down on her knees in front of me. She
-stuck her chin in the air and said:
-
-“No; thank you.”
-
-I guess I got hotter than I ever was in my life. I was burning hot. And
-I guess I was pretty mad. I got up and held the pillow by one corner.
-
-“All right for you, then!” I said; and all I thought of was to make her
-sorry for making me look silly before the whole crowd. “All right for
-you! I know who dynamited your house, and now I won't tell!”
-
-Well, right away she got down on her knees. She took the pillow from me
-and got down on her knees on it. So I kneeled down on it, too, and she
-let me kiss her on the cheek. It was the softest cheek I ever kissed,
-I guess. So then she got up, and took the pillow and looked around the
-circle for a boy to drop it in front of, and when she didn't drop it in
-front of Toady Williams the very first thing, I felt fine. Swatty leaned
-over to me and said:
-
-“Garsh! Now you done it!”
-
-“Well,” I said back, “I got a right to tell if I want to, haven't I?”
-
-“No, you hain't,” Swatty said. “If you tell then Slim Finnegan will stab
-the whole three of us.”
-
-“Well, let him stab!” I said, because that was how I felt just then,
-because Mamie Little had not put the pillow down in front of Toady
-Williams but in front of Bony, and that didn't mean much, because it
-only meant that she wanted Bony to have it next, because he would give
-it to Lucy. So, when he went to kiss Mamie she turned her head and he
-hardly got any kiss at all, and she had let me kiss her fair and solid.
-So I felt pretty good. I felt as if she was going to be my girl again.
-And I guess she was, because when somebody put the pillow in front of
-her again, she came right to me with it, and that time it was a good
-kiss too. I felt great!
-
-When us boys was getting our hats, when the party was over, Swatty came
-up to me.
-
-“If you tell her I'm going to lick you,” he said.
-
-“All right--lick!” I said. “I ain't afraid of your lickings. Lick all
-you want to. I told her I'd tell and you nor nobody else can't make me a
-liar!”
-
-So Mamie Little waited for me at the front door, and when I came out I
-knew she had waited so I could walk home with her, and I did.
-
-“Well, I'm glad we aren't mad any more,” she said when we were walking
-along.
-
-“Ah! who was mad? I wasn't mad,” I said. “Well, I ain't mad now,” she
-said. “Who was it blew up our house?”
-
-“Oh, somebody!” I said.
-
-We walked a little way and then she said:
-
-“Who blew up our house?”
-
-“Slim Finnegan,” I said.
-
-“How do you know he did?” she said.
-
-“Because me and Swatty and Bony saw him steal the powder to do it with,”
- I told her, “We was over in Illinois and we saw him steal it from the
-powder house that's over there.”
-
-So we talked about that and when we got home to her house she told me to
-come up on the porch, and I did; and then she opened the door and called
-for her father, and he came to the door.
-
-“Papa, this is Georgie,” she said; “and he knows who blew up our house.”
-
-Well, he took me inside the house and asked me to tell all about it, and
-I told him, and Mamie sat in a chair and listened to me tell it. When
-he had asked me everything he could think of he went to the door with me
-and said:
-
-“George, you are a fine boy!”
-
-I said:
-
-“Yes, sir!” and then I said, “Good-bye, Mamie!” And she said:
-
-“I don't like that mean old Toady Williams.” So I went home.
-
-That evening Mr. Murphy, the detective, came up to my house and Mr.
-Little came with him; and Mr. Murphy asked me all the questions
-Mr. Little had asked, and a lot more, and I told him all about Slim
-Finnegan. He asked where Swatty and Bony lived and how to get to their
-houses. So then Mr. Murphy said:
-
-“If the boy is telling the truth this may be more important than we
-imagined. I have thought for some time that the reason Slim Finnegan
-left town was because he knew something of this affair.”
-
-So I guess that was the reason Slim Finnegan hadn't come around to stab
-us--he wasn't in Riverbank. I guess it was a month more before they
-found him down in Oklahoma and fetched him back to Riverbank because
-me and Swatty and Bony had oathed that he had stolen the keg of powder.
-Petty larceny was what it was called. That was what they arrested him
-for.
-
-Well, come to find out, Slim Finnegan hadn't blown up anything, and it
-wasn't even his keg of powder that done it. He had stole the powder
-to load a shotgun with, to go hunting, and he showed Mr. Murphy the
-dry powder keg, with most of the powder in it yet. So he wasn't the
-dynamiter, after all.
-
-But his father was. Mr. Murphy gave Slim Finnegan three degrees and said
-to him, “I guess you know who blew up the houses and if you don't
-tell I'll send you to the penitentiary for twenty years,” and Slim
-Finnegan--the mean sneak--told that his father and two other men had
-done it, and they were arrested and went to prison.
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony talked about which of us ought to have the
-one-thousand-five-hundred-dollars reward, and we made up our minds that
-Swatty ought to have it because he was the one that went back and saw
-that Slim Finnegan was really stealing a keg of powder, and that if
-Swatty didn't get it I ought to have it, because I was the one that told
-Mamie Little, and that if I didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have it,
-because if it hadn't been for her I never would have told.
-
-But none of us got it. Mr. Murphy got it. The only thing Swatty and Bony
-got was that they didn't get stabbed. And I got Mamie Little back for my
-secret girl again.
-
-
-
-
-XI. “THIEF! THIEF!”
-
-While Mamie Little's father's house was getting fixed up, after being
-dynamited, they went someplace else to live, and the only people that
-lived across the street from us were the Burtons. There weren't any
-Burtons to play with, because the only children they had was Tom Burton,
-who was older than my sister Fan, and that summer he began taking Fan to
-ride with the dandy horses and carriage the Burtons' hired man took care
-of.
-
-The Burtons' hired man's name was Jimmy, and everybody called him that
-except Mrs. Burton--she called him James. I guess Jimmy was forty years
-old. Or maybe he was fifty, or thirty-five, or something. He was thin
-and balder than hired men generally are, and his only bad habit was
-putting angle worms in a pickle bottle and setting the bottle in the
-sun to dissolve the worms into angle-worm oil for his rheumatism in the
-winter; but summer was when the worms were, so he had to get a lot of
-worms in the summer to last through the winter.
-
-Well, Jimmy had been with the Burtons six years and Annie, our hired
-girl, had been with us on and off, for five years. I guess everybody
-thought she hadn't any other name at all until one evening when
-Jimmy came over and knocked at the back door and asked Mother if Miss
-Dombacher was home. She wasn't, because she had gone to the Evangelical
-Lutheran Church; but after that Jimmy used to come over, and Annie would
-put two chairs out in the? yard under the apple tree and they would
-sit and talk. Or Jimmy would talk. He would talk and talk and talk, and
-every once in a while Annie would say, “Yes,” and, after she learned it,
-“No.” So, after a couple of years, Jimmy began to hold Annie's hand
-when he talked to her, and in a couple of years more they got engaged. I
-guess they liked each other.
-
-I was in our dining-room one day, looking to see if Annie had put any
-fresh cookies in the jar in the closet, when I heard my mother say, “Oh,
-Annie!” in the kitchen, as if she was sorry about something. So then
-Annie said:
-
-“I bin sorry to go avay, too, ma'am, but it is right everybody should
-get married once or twice.”
-
-“I know,” my mother said; “but I don't know what I will ever do without
-you, Annie.”
-
-So then Annie cried, and there were no cookies, so I went out.
-
-Well, it was like this: Jimmy had been saving his money ever since Annie
-came to our house and now he had enough to get married on and buy a
-couple of acres; so they were going to be married, and he was going to
-leave the Burtons and raise garden stuff and peddle it. Annie was going
-to raise chickens and sell eggs, and they would have a cow and sell
-milk.
-
-So now I come to the story part of the story. I guess what the story is
-about is that sometimes it is a good thing for a fellow to have a girl,
-because if Mamie Little hadn't been my girl maybe Jimmy and Annie would
-never have been married.
-
-There were two parts about the story. One was that a circus was coming
-to town and me and Swatty weren't going; the other was that the
-schoolhouse wore out and they built a new one.
-
-The night before the circus was coming there was going to be a reception
-in the dandy big new schoolhouse to raise money for a library. Everybody
-was going to go, and I guess everybody old enough was going to take his
-girl. Anyway me and Swatty and Bony got to talking about taking girls to
-parties and receptions and things, and the first thing you know we said
-we'd do it.
-
-I guess I said Swatty was afraid, and Swatty dared me back, and we both
-dared Bony, and so we wouldn't any of us take the dare. So Bony asked
-Lucy and she said she'd go with him if my mother would let her. When
-Bony told me I didn't believe him, but I asked Lucy and she said Bony
-had asked her, and that Mamie Little was as mad as mad because I hadn't
-asked Mamie. So I said:
-
-“Aw! How could I ask her when I hain't seen her yet?”
-
-“You could, too, see her, if you wanted to,” Lucy said. “You could see
-her every minute of every day, if you wasn't a 'fraid-cat.”
-
-“'T ain't so. I'm not a 'fraid-cat!” I said.
-
-“'T is so, and you are! 'Fraidie-cat! You ain't going to take Mamie
-Little, and you're her fellow!”
-
-“I am, too, going to take her!” I said back.
-
-But I wasn't going to take Mamie Little. I wouldn't have asked her for a
-million dollars. But I didn't have to ask her. I met her that afternoon.
-She was on the other side of the street and I just went along as if I
-didn't see her. So she called across: “Oo-oo! Georgie! You know!”
-
-“Aw! What do I know?” I asked back.
-
-“You know! The reception!” she said. Well, I just went along and didn't
-say anything. But that evening when I got home my mother said:
-
-“I hear you are getting to be quite a beau, Georgie.”
-
-I didn't know what she meant, so I said, “Huh?”
-
-“Mrs. Little called this afternoon,” my mother said, “and she told me
-you had asked Mamie Little to go to the new school reception with you.
-That's very nice.”
-
-I didn't say anything. It was Lucy, and I was mighty mad at her for
-telling Mamie Little I was going to take her; but I was kind of glad,
-too. I thought, “Well, anyway, Swatty and Bony are going to take girls.”
-
-The reception was the next night, so when Swatty and Bony came over the
-next afternoon I told them I was going to take Mamie Little, and Swatty
-said that was right, everybody was going to take a girl.
-
-So I asked him who he was going to take, because he had never let on he
-had a girl.
-
-“Garsh!” he said, “I ain't going to take any girl!”
-
-That made me sick. Me and Bony had stood right up like men and had asked
-girls, and Swatty had promised he would take one, and now he was backing
-out. So I said:
-
-“Aw! You said you would take one!”
-
-“Well, don't I know it?” Swatty said. “Of course I said I would, but I
-forgot.”
-
-“What did you forget?” I asked.
-
-“I forgot I was married,” Swatty said.
-
-We were all sitting under our apple tree, out in the yard, and it was a
-good thing we were not sitting on a roof, because I would have fell off
-and killed myself, I was so surprised.
-
-“Aw! When was you married?” I said.
-
-“That time I went to Derlingport to visit my uncle,” Swatty said.
-
-“Aw! Who did you marry?”
-
-“A girl,” he said.
-
-“Well, if you married a girl why didn't you ever tell us about it
-before?”
-
-“Garsh! I can't remember everything that happened when I was in
-Derlingport, can I? Mebbe I forgot I was married.”
-
-“Aw, pshaw!” I said. “What did you want to go and get married for,
-Swatty?”
-
-“Well, I couldn't help it, could I?” he asked.
-
-“You don't think I'd go and get married if I could help it, do you?
-My--my uncle made me.”
-
-“Why did he make you?” asked Bony.
-
-“Because my aunt had a felon on her finger. She had a felon on her
-finger and it almost killed her to dam stockings, so my uncle said if I
-wore any more holes in my stockings I'd have to get a wife of my own to
-dam them.”
-
-So then we asked Swatty what his wife was like, and he told us a lot
-about her. She was an Indian princess, and when you first looked at her
-she looked all right, but pretty soon you saw she had a tomahawk in her
-belt and the edge of it was all dried over with blood, because she had
-had eight other husbands before Swatty, and she had got mad at all
-of them and had killed them and scalped them. She had an album on her
-parlor table, but instead of photographs in it she had the scalps of her
-husbands.
-
-Swatty said there was just room in the scalp album for one more scalp,
-and that every once in a while when he was at her house having his
-stockings darned she would look at his head and kind of sigh.
-
-Well, we talked it over, and Swatty made us promise never to tell any
-one he had been married, because if his mother knew it she would take
-him out in the stable and wale him with a strap. He said that was why
-he didn't dare take any girl to the new school reception, because if
-his wife heard of it she would be jealous and she would come down and
-tomahawk him and maybe kill him. And if she didn't kill him his mother
-would notice his scalp was gone, the next time she washed his head, and
-would wale him anyway.
-
-Well, my mother helped me dress for the reception, and then she gave me
-twenty cents to spend. I had five cents of my own she didn't know about.
-So that was all right.
-
-It was dark already. I went along, kind of dragging my hand along the
-pickets of the fences and wishing I was dead or something, and it got
-darker and darker. The new house Mamie Little lived in was away out over
-Grimes's Hill, and when I got to the door Mr. Little and Mrs. Little and
-Mamie were just getting ready to come out, and Mr. Little said: “Well!
-Here is our cavalier!”
-
-Mamie and me walked in front, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it
-would be, but I kept feeling sort of chilly when I thought of going into
-the reception with Mamie. But before we got to the schoolhouse Mamie
-said to me:
-
-“Say, Georgie! Don't you want a ticket for the circus?”
-
-I said aw, I didn't want to take her ticket away from her; but she said
-she had one too, because her father was editor of the paper and he got
-them complimentary.
-
-As soon as we got to the reception Mrs. Little said: “Now, you children
-run along and enjoy yourselves.”
-
-Mamie said, right away: “Shall we get some ice cream first?”
-
-I said that would be all right, because mebbe people wouldn't notice I
-was with Mamie Little and think I brought her. So we sat down at a table
-and a girl took our order and brought us strawberry and vanilla--big
-dishes--and passed us the cake and we took two pieces of cake apiece.
-
-That was all right; but when we were eating Swatty and Bony came past
-and said: “Ho, Georgie! He brought a girl!”
-
-That was all right for Bony! He had sneaked out of bringing a girl, and
-that was mighty mean, after he had gone and got me to bring one. I said
-I'd fix him when I got him, and he was scared, too! So then we ate our
-ice cream slow, to make it last longer, and I forgot how mean I felt
-because I had brought a girl, when whoever was opposite us got through
-and asked how much he owed.
-
-“Let me see!” the girl said. “Two ice creams at ten cents is twenty
-cents, and two pieces of cake. That makes thirty cents.”
-
-Well, I almost rammed my spoon down my throat! I had never thought about
-the cake being extra, and we had had four pieces, and that made twenty
-cents, and the ice cream was twenty cents so it made forty cents all
-together, and twenty-five cents was all the money I had! I was so scared
-my throat sort of closed up on me. I guess my face got as red as fire,
-and I leaned forward and took a big bite of cake, so Mamie Little would
-n't see how red my face was, and then I choked on the cake! I guess I
-never was so choked in my life. And I put a paper napkin up to my face
-and went out into the hall.
-
-I guess Mamie Little sat there at the table; I don't know. As soon as I
-was out in the hall I knew what I was going to do. I squeezed in among
-the people and got to the door and skipped.
-
-As soon as I got home my father asked me did I take Mamie Little home;
-so I didn't say anything. I went right upstairs to bed. After while my
-father came up and asked me again if I had gone home with Mamie Little,
-so I said I hadn't; I said I didn't want to. I said her folks could take
-her home if they wanted to. So Father said he had a mind to lick me; but
-he didn't. So I guess Mamie Little got home all right. It wouldn't have
-helped her home if my father had licked me, but that's the way fathers
-are.
-
-The next morning, about four o'clock, me and Swatty and Bony went down
-to see the circus unload. We saw it. And then we went up to the circus
-grounds and saw the tent go up and everything. So Bony said:
-
-“Aw! Don't you wish you was going to the circus?”
-
-So I said he needn't be so smart, that I was going, because I had a
-ticket. So then I remembered that I had the twenty cents my mother had
-given me to buy the ice cream with, only I hadn't spent it because I
-came away so quick. So I told Swatty he could have the ticket, because
-I had twenty-five cents to get into the circus with. So Swatty was glad.
-He said he'd be my Dutch uncle as long as I lived, and that the first
-dollar he saw rolling uphill he'd pay me back, if he could catch it.
-
-Well, we walked downtown with the parade and saw it, and walked back to
-the circus grounds with it. Me and Swatty and Bony was the first to go
-into the tent. We were right up against the rope when the ticket taker
-let it down. So we hurried right through, because a lot of folks was
-pushing behind us. The ticket taker yelled something at us, but I didn't
-hear what it was and we scooted for the menagerie tent.
-
-When we were looking at the ostriches in their cage Swatty got close
-beside me and said: “Lookee here!”
-
-I looked down, and he had his ticket in his hand yet, because that was
-why the ticket taker had yelled at us. Swatty had sneaked in without
-giving his ticket.
-
-“What did you do that for?” I said.
-
-“Because I'm hungry,” he said.
-
-“You can't eat your ticket,” I said.
-
-“You wait and you'll see,” he said, so then we went into the big tent
-and we climbed up to the top row. When we poked our heads out we could
-see right down where the ticket taker was taking tickets and all the
-people were crowding to get in. Right down below us on the ground a bum,
-or tent man, was asleep on his face with his arm under his head. His
-coat was beside him. He was breathing hard.
-
-So then Swatty leaned out as far as he could and waved the ticket he
-had, and called out who wanted to buy a ticket for a quarter. That was
-just like Swatty anyhow. He was pretty slick. So pretty soon a man
-said he'd buy the ticket, and he tossed a quarter up to Swatty. With a
-quarter we could get enough peanuts to keep alive until supper time.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony was just going to draw our heads in when we saw
-Jimmy and Annie. I was going to yell at them when I saw something that
-made me forget to yell. Swatty saw it, too.
-
-There was a man standing by the ropes that made the narrow place people
-had to go through, but he was outside of the ropes on our side, and just
-when Jimmy came opposite him and got a step past him his hand went out
-like a flash and something dropped on the ground and the bum slid out
-his hand and grabbed what had dropped, and slid it under the coat
-and went on pretending he was asleep. The man by the ropes had picked
-Jimmy's wallet out of his pocket.
-
-Well, I didn't know it, but Jimmy had all the money he was going to buy
-a farm with in that wallet. It was circus day, and he didn't dare leave
-it at home, because of thieves; so he brought it with him.
-
-I didn't think of anything to do, and neither did Bony, but Swatty did.
-He looked down, and then slid one leg and then the other over the wall
-of the tent and hung there a second and looked down. He hand-over-handed
-a reach or two and then gave himself a sort of push and let go. He came
-down right on the bum's head, straddle of his neck, and yelled: “Police!
-Police!” Only he yelled it “Porlice! Porlice!” like he always says it. I
-guess the bum was surprised, but he reached up and grabbed Swatty.
-
-It wasn't a fair fight, Swatty against a man, but it was a good one
-while it lasted. Everybody on the top seats stuck their heads out and
-yelled, and everybody down where Swatty was came running. One of the
-town cops was first--the cross-eyed one--and he leveled a lick at the
-bum with his club and caught Swatty across his breeches, and Swatty
-yelled and let go of the bum. He could fight one bum but he couldn't
-fight a cross-eyed policeman with a club, too.
-
-The minute the bum got loose he dived under the tent. We saw him scutter
-along under the seats, and then we saw him come out away down the side
-of the tent and scoot. The cross-eyed cop started after him, but he
-never got him.
-
-Swatty didn't run. He just stood on the bum's coat, with his feet spread
-out, and in a minute Jimmy and a lot of folks were crowded around him.
-Then he lifted up the coat. We could see it all. Under the coat was
-Jimmy's wallet and about six more. Jimmy just dropped on his wallet and
-hugged it. He sort of blubbered and didn't know what to do, so he kissed
-Swatty, and Swatty hit out at him and hit him in the chest.
-
-By that time a circus man in uniform had come up. He had a big hickory
-club, peeled, and he pushed into the crowd. Behind him were four or five
-more circus men, but they had tent stakes.
-
-“What's this row?” he asked.
-
-Somebody started to tell him. The man that took the wallet from Jimmy
-was right there, and he turned away. So I shouted out:
-
-“Hey, mister! there's the man that took it.”
-
-The circus man looked around and the thief started to hurry. He didn't
-have a chance to hurry much. The circus man made one jump for him and
-caught him by the collar and gave one jerk, and the thief's coat and
-vest came off and his shirt ripped right off him. The other circus men
-were on him. If it had been me it would have killed me, but I guess he
-was tough.
-
-When I turned around Mr. Little was standing right back of me. He had
-come up to see what it all was, so he could put it in his paper. When he
-saw it was me that had yelled, he said:
-
-“Why, hello, it's our gallant cavalier! These hard seats are no place
-for a lady's man; come on over in the reserved seats.”
-
-“I can't,” I said, “I've got to wait for Swatty.” He didn't know who
-Swatty was, so I told him. So when Swatty came in we went over into the
-reserved seats, right in front of the middle ring. So Mr. Little asked
-Swatty all about it, and Swatty told him, and Mr. Little wrote it down
-and went downtown to his paper with it. He told Mrs. Little to take good
-care of the three heroes. He meant me and Swatty and Bony.
-
-So Jimmy and Annie got married. All Mamie Little ever said about my
-going home was:
-
-“I guess you think you were pretty smart, going home and letting Papa
-take me home and pay for the ice cream!”
-
-But that didn't hurt me any. Girls are always saying things like that.
-
-
-
-
-XII. THE RED AVENGERS
-
-Well, vacation got over, and school started again, and me and Swatty
-and Bony got promoted into the A Class in Miss Carter's room, and so did
-Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat. Lucy got promoted into the B Class in Miss
-Carter's room, and she hated Miss Carter. I guess the reason was because
-Miss Carter got in love with Herb Schwartz when Fan was mad at him.
-
-Anyway Miss Carter heard Lucy tell somebody that if Fan wanted Herb
-Miss Carter would never have got him, and that anybody could catch a
-second-hand fellow that a body had thrown away, so Miss Carter and
-Lucy didn't like each other. But I guess it was Lucy's fault, because I
-always liked Miss Carter all right. Most always.
-
-So school started again. Professor Martin came back with only a limp in
-his leg and Herb Schwartz stopped being a professor and was in Judge
-Hannan's law office all the time. He began smoking a curved pipe and
-wearing spectacles and his hair pompadour, because he would pretty soon
-be a lawyer, and he kept on going with Miss Carter, but I didn't care,
-because Fan had stopped dying of love. She was going with Tom Burton.
-
-We liked Tom Burton good enough--me and Swatty and Bony did--until the
-time Dad Veek's barn burned, but after that we didn't. We had it in for
-him after that.
-
-I guess old Dad Veek was a cabinet maker or something. Anyway, he
-used to work in his barn with a saw and a plane and he made a lot of
-shavings. His barn was level, but to make it level it had to be up on
-posts at the hind end because it was on a side hill, and that made a
-kind of cave under it, and sometimes me and Bony and Swatty, when we got
-tired playing in the creek, or it was raining, or we got cold skating,
-would go up there and maybe smoke com silk or maybe just talk. So we got
-all the shavings old Dad Veek swept out of his barn, and we made a kind
-of nest under the barn, and we called it that--the Nest.
-
-Dad Veek did not like to have us under his barn, because when we smoked
-com silk the smoke would go up between the boards of the floor and he
-would come out and chase us. He didn't like us much, anyway, for any
-boys, because there were grapevines between his barn and his house and
-he thought maybe when we thought he wasn't around we crawled through the
-fence and took some grapes. And we did. But only when they were ripe and
-we happened to be over there.
-
-So one night his barn burned down.
-
-I guess that don't sound like much, but it was a good deal more than it
-sounds like. You don't know about Toady Williams and the Red Avengers
-and the fire insurance inspector yet. The fire insurance inspector was
-a man who came over from Chicago and said old Dad Veek had set the barn
-afire to get the insurance money, and said he guessed he would put old
-Dad Veek in jail for it, because there was too much of that sort of
-thing just now, and it was time to learn somebody a lesson. And I guess
-nobody would have cared much if it hadn't been for Mrs. old Dad Veek.
-
-The reason my mother felt sorry for Mrs. old Dad Veek was because when
-my mother was a little girl Mrs. old Dad Veek's name was Tilly, and she
-worked for my mother's mother, and now she was a dear old lady and it
-was too bad her husband was going to jail. So she thought somebody ought
-to bestir themselves.
-
-Well, while my mother and the Ladies' Aid were bestirring themselves me
-and Bony and Swatty and Toady Williams were out in our barn, and I felt
-pretty bad, because it was tough to have my mother bestirring herself
-about that barn fire when the chances were that I would be one she would
-bestir into jail if she kept old Dad Veek out. Now you know that much,
-you can see why we felt pretty sick out there in my barn.
-
-It was winter when old Dad Veek's barn burned down, and it was about
-nine o'clock at night. I was going to bed because I had been skating all
-day. I wore boots to skate in, like all the fellows, and my boots kind
-of wrinkled around the ankles and they rubbed my ankles until they
-were raw. So about eight o'clock I said, “Aw, come on, Swatty! Let's go
-home!” but he wouldn't.
-
-“Well, if you won't go home with me I'm going up to the Nest and I'll
-wait for you up there,” I said.
-
-So then Toady came up, and he asked where I was going and I told him I
-was going to the Nest, and he said he was going to skate some more, but
-Swatty and Bony said, “All right, we'll go up with you awhile.” They
-didn't take off their skates. They walked up the hill to the barn on
-their skates and we sat awhile in the Nest under old Dad Veek's barn and
-smoked some com-silk cigarettes. Then Swatty and Bony wanted to skate
-some more, and they did and after a while I went home. Gee! but there
-was a raw spot on my ankle when I got my boot off! I was sitting on the
-edge of my bed looking at it, about nine o'clock, when the fire-house
-bell rang. Right away my mother came into my room and said:
-
-“George, there is a fire across the Square, and I think it is Mr. Veek's
-barn. You can go if you want to.”
-
-I hid my raw ankle, because if my mother knew it was so bad she would
-n't let me skate any more until it got well, and I pulled on my boot and
-went to the fire.
-
-There was a pretty big crowd there already and the barn was burning
-bully. I found Swatty first and then we found Bony, and we watched until
-the fire burned out, and then we went home.
-
-The next day was Sunday, and when I got up I told my mother I had a
-headache, like I always told her Sunday mornings; but I had to go to
-Sunday school just the same. After dinner I went over to the ruins, and
-Swatty and Bony and Toady and a lot of folks were there. It was good to
-see and smell. When we got tired we went back to my yard, and it was too
-cold to go into the barn, so we went up to my room. As soon as the door
-was shut Swatty sat down on the edge of my bed and said:
-
-“Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!” You see it was like this: Me and Swatty
-and Toady and Bony were the Red Avengers. Maybe you never read the
-book--“The Red Avengers, or The Boy Heroes of the Trail”--but it is a
-bully book. It's a dime lib'ry, and if it hadn't been for Toady we
-would never have had it. There was one thing about Toady that was pretty
-good--he had lots of books. Dime lib'ry books. He got the new ones as
-fast as they were printed, and he read them behind his geography at
-school, and it was because he had them that we got to read “The Red
-Avengers.” The Chief of the Red Avengers was a boy named Dick, and when
-he was a young and tender nursling his fond parents took him out West
-and they started a ranch that covered almost a whole state. They had
-millions of cattle, but a lot of Mexicans came and burned the ranch and
-Dick's parents were burned to death and Dick only escaped by creeping
-into the chaparral and hiding until he grew up into a sturdy youthhood.
-So then the Mexicans had divided up the ranch and had built houses and
-barns and things, and when Dick asked for the ranch back they laughed
-at him. So he got together a lot of true and faithful youths and started
-the Red Avengers of the Trail and whenever they came to one of the
-Mexican houses or bams they burned it down. Whenever anybody did
-anything mean to anybody in the band of the Red Avengers, Dick wrote a
-note saying the mean person's house would be burned at a certain minute,
-and the note would appear mysteriously on the door of the house. And the
-house burned down just as the Red Avengers said it would, and right on
-the minute.
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony we started a Red Avengers band. We swore a
-solemn oath never to divulge the secrets of the band or to tell what any
-of us did, and to follow the orders of the Chief, whate'er might betide.
-We had an election for Chief, and me and Swatty and Bony each got one
-vote, so we made Swatty the Chief. Swatty made us make him. So I was
-elected Secretary and Bony was elected Treasurer. The Secretary had
-to write the vengeance warnings and keep track of them in a memorandum
-book, so we wouldn't forget who we were going to be revenged on. The
-Treasurer didn't have anything to do. It was an easy job.
-
-We did all that one day out in our barn, and, just when we had the Red
-Avengers all fixed up, in came Toady. He wanted the dime lib'ry back.
-
-“Aw! come on, Toady!” Swatty said. “Let us keep it! You don't want it!”
-
-“Yes, I want it,” said Toady.
-
-“All right for you, then, Toady!” Swatty said. “I was going to tell you
-something, but if you're going to be that mean I won't.”
-
-“What was it?” he asked.
-
-“It's all right what it was!” said Swatty. “You'll never know! Think
-we'd tell you when you want your old dime lib'ry back? We won't ever
-tell him, will we, George? Will we, Bony?”
-
-So we said no, we wouldn't.
-
-So then Toady looked at us and his eyes popped out; but Swatty threw
-“The Red Avengers” book at him.
-
-“Take it!” he said. “We don't want it anyway. We know everything that's
-in it and we don't need it. Only, if your house burns down you'll know
-why. Garsh! here we were all ready to make you one of the band, and give
-you the oath, and elect you--what were we going to elect him, George?”
- “Librarian,” I said.
-
-“Yah!” said Swatty, as if Toady made him sick. “That's the kind of a
-fellow you are!”
-
-So Toady didn't know what to do. He picked up the dime lib'ry and stood
-looking. So Swatty didn't pay any attention to him. He said to me:
-
-“Seckertary, write in the Book of Doom that the first house the Red
-Avengers will burn down will be Toady Williams's house, because he's a
-stingy-cat and took his tom, old, no-good dime lib'ry away from us!”
-
-Toady looked awhile. Then he said:
-
-“Oh, I didn't know you were going to make me a librarian. I didn't know
-you were going to do that. What do I have to do if I'm Librarian?”
-
-“Why, you keep charge of the library,” I said. “You take an oath to keep
-and preserve it, in that starch box over there.”
-
-“And then you can be one of the band and take the oath, and if anybody
-is mean to you we'll burn their houses down,” said Swatty. So Toady said
-all right, he would be Librarian, and we gave him the oath, and he put
-“The Red Avengers” in the starch box, and we held a council. We talked
-about whose houses the Red Avengers ought to burn down first.
-
-I guess we all thought about Miss Carter first, because she had kept us
-in school after hours that very afternoon; but she lived in a boarding
-house and we couldn't burn down her room without burning down the rest
-of the house, so we thought we would just record her in the book and
-wait until she got married sometime, and had a house of her own, and
-then burn that down. We thought of everybody, but the one we thought
-was the meanest was old Dad Veek. So we wrote his name at the top of the
-list in my memorandum book, and we said we'd burn his barn, and that we
-would do it at nine of night on the eighteenth of December. I wrote the
-letter of warning that was to be stabbed onto his door with a dagger,
-because I was Secretary, and I wrote the date of revenge in the
-memorandum book, and we all went out and over to Veek's barn.
-
-We hid in the dead weeds at the side of the road and drew straws to see
-which of the Red Avengers had to go up and dagger the warning onto old
-Dad Veek's barn, and Bony drew the fatal straw; but of course he was
-afraid to do it, so Swatty did it. He sneaked through the fence into
-Veek's yard and up to the barn door. He didn't have a dagger, so he took
-a sort of splinter and ran it through the warning and stuck the point
-in a crack in the door, and scooted back to us. It was a daring deed,
-worthy of our fearless Chief, and we received him with silent cheers,
-because we had scarce hoped he would return from his perilous mission
-alive. (That's from the dime lib'ry book.)
-
-Well, that was pretty good, and we felt bully. I guess we would have
-gone ahead and put up some more warnings another day, but it turned cold
-that night and the skating got good and we forgot to be Red Avengers.
-You can't be everything all the time. We didn't think any more about it
-until the day after the fire. That was the Sunday we were up in my room
-and Swatty said:
-
-“Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!”
-
-So I said:
-
-“Yes, Chief, I carried out the orders of the band to the fullest. My
-trusty torch has laid the vermin's dwelling low.”
-
-“You?” said Swatty. “You didn't do it. I did it.” Toady was sitting on
-the window sill, and Bony was in a chair looking at a magazine. Toady
-just sat and popped his eyes at us.
-
-“Aw, now!” he said, “you didn't burn that barn down, either of you.
-You're just fooling.”
-
-Well, I guess that was a little too much for anybody to say, especially
-when he was a member of the Red Avengers himself.
-
-“I did, too!” I said. “I took my oath to do it, and I did it. Do you
-think I'd take my oath to do it, and then not do it? Of course I burned
-it down, when I said I would!”
-
-“Of course you would,” said Swatty. “If you took your oath to burn down
-Veek's barn you'd do it. Only I was the one that took the oath; you
-wasn't. Toady had better not say I'd take an oath and then not do it!
-When you trust a job to the Chief of the Red Avengers it'll be done. At
-nine of night I sneaked up to old Dad Veek's barn--”
-
-“Ho! Nine!” I said. “Well, no wonder! No wonder you thought you did it,
-sneaking up at nine! Now I know why you thought you did it, when I was
-the one that really did it! Why, I wouldn't wait until nine when I had
-promised to set a barn afire at nine. I'd be afraid I might not get the
-match lit in time, or something. I was there at a quarter of nine, and I
-had the barn on fire long before nine.” Swatty kind of looked at me.
-
-“Oh!” he said. “Whereabouts did you set the fire going?”
-
-I thought a minute.
-
-“Around at the far side, away from the road, Chief,” I said.
-
-“Well, then, no wonder!” said Swatty. “That's why I didn't see you doing
-it. I set the side toward the road burning. So I guess I was the one
-that set the barn afire first, because it would take you a long time to
-go around the barn to the other side.”
-
-“Maybe we both set it afire at the same time,” I said.
-
-“All right, maybe we did,” Swatty said. “Because,” I said, “I ain't
-going to be cheated out of having set it afire by you or anybody,
-Swatty, when I went to all the trouble I did.”
-
-“I know,” said Swatty, “but you can't say I didn't set it afire, either,
-because when I was walking down to the creek from the West I turned my
-ankle and had to take my skates off and limp home. Ain't that so,
-Bony?” Bony said yes, it was. “And Bony thought I had really sprained my
-ankle,” said Swatty, “but you know what I was up to. Throw 'em all off
-the track! Be alone so I could do the deed!”
-
-“Well, I guess we both did it at the same time,” I said, and Swatty said
-he guessed we did, so that settled it. But when Swatty got ready to go
-home I whispered to him:
-
-“You didn't really do it, did you?”
-
-“No,” he said, “I just wanted to make Toady and Bony think I did. I was
-in my kitchen putting arnica on my ankle. Did you really do it?”
-
-“Of course I didn't!” I said. “I was up here in my bedroom looking at my
-raw ankle. But we won't let on.”
-
-“Sure not!” said Swatty.
-
-Well, pretty soon some of the fellows or somebody began saying maybe old
-Dad Veek would have to go to jail for setting his own barn afire, like
-I told you in the beginning. Then, after while, I heard my mother say
-to my father, that some of the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring
-themselves because they were sure that old Dad Veek wouldn't set his
-own barn afire, and they had asked Tom Burton to help them and he was
-helping. But one day we were up in my barn--me and Swatty and Bony--and
-Toady came up.
-
-He came up the stairs far enough to see into the hayloft, then he
-stopped and when we saw him he came on up. I said:
-
-“Hello, Toady!”
-
-“Hello!” he said.
-
-“What do you want?” I asked, because he hadn't been playing with us
-much.
-
-“Oh, I just thought I'd get my dime lib'ry,” he said. “You don't want it
-any more, do you?”
-
-“No, we don't want it,” I said, and he went to the starch box and got
-it, and he came over to where we were, and he said: “I guess you have
-n't set any more barns afire, have you?”
-
-“What barns?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Well, you did set one afire, didn't you?” said Toady. “You and George
-set Veek's afire, didn't you?”
-
-Swatty stood up then, all right! He stood up and folded his fists.
-
-“Who said we set Veek's barn afire?” he asked, and he was pretty mad.
-But I wasn't; I was just scared. It's incenderyism, or something like
-that, if you set a barn afire, and you get sent to reform school for
-life.
-
-“Who said it? I didn't say it,” said Toady. “You said it. You and George
-said you did.”
-
-Well, of course I hadn't been lying when I told Toady and Swatty and
-Bony how I had set Dad Veek's barn afire, but I had just been fooling.
-So I said:
-
-“Aw! I never said no such thing! I never either said I set it afire.
-Swatty said he set it afire. I couldn't have set it afire, because I was
-sitting on my bed when it got afire.”
-
-So Swatty got mad. I guess he wanted to lick somebody, but he didn't
-know whether to lick me or to lick Toady.
-
-“Aw! I never either said I set it afire!” he said. “If anybody set it
-afire George did, because I was home, putting arnica on me, when the
-fire started.”
-
-“Well, you said you did,” I said. “You said so right up in my room. You
-did so.”
-
-“I did not! You said you did.”
-
-“I did not! I never said anything like it. If anybody said he set Veek's
-barn afire, Swatty said it.”
-
-“Aw! I did not!” Swatty said. “You said it. You said it. You said you
-took a torch, and went around to the far side and set the barn afire.
-I heard you say it. And you said I couldn't have set the barn afire
-because you had it all afire before I got there. Didn't he say that,
-Toady?”
-
-Well, I guess Toady knew mighty well that if he was going to get
-mallered for saying either of us said it he had better say I said it,
-because Swatty could lick any of us. So he said I did say it.
-
-So I went for him and mallered him as much as I could. I got so mad I
-cried, and I guess I kicked him. Not Swatty, Toady. So when I got tired
-I was still mad, and I sat down on a box and cried. Then Toady sneaked
-over to the stairs and went part way down, and just before he was out of
-sight he looked back.
-
-“Cry-baby!” he said, and that meant me. Then he said: “All right, you'd
-better look out! You both said you did it, and you both said you said
-it, and Dad Veek's got that Red Avengers' notice you fastened on his
-barn door and Tom Burton knows all about it.”
-
-Gee, we were scared! I was so scared I didn't throw anything at Toady,
-and Swatty was so scared he just said: “Garsh!” and stood there. Well,
-me and Swatty we talked it over.
-
-We knew we hadn't set the barn afire, but we knew we had said we had,
-and we knew old Dad Veek would do 'most anything to keep out of jail,
-and that my mother and the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring. So then
-we knew why Toady had come up to get us to say again we had done it; he
-was one of the Red Avengers and unless we said we had set the barn afire
-ourselves all the Red Avengers would be sent to reform school, and he
-wanted to get out of it and had gone and told Tom Burton about us and
-the Red Avengers and that we had set the barn afire.
-
-“Garsh!” said Swatty, “he took the memorandum book you had old Veek's
-barn wrote down at the top of the list of!”
-
-And he had! So Bony sort of doubled down in his corner and cried, but
-me and Swatty sat down on a box to think and talk and see what we had
-better do.
-
-Well, the way Tom Burton had gone to work to help my mother and the
-Ladies' Aid ladies who were bestirring themselves, was this: He found
-out that the reason old Dad Veek had so much insurance was because he
-was a slow worker, and sometimes he had the barn almost full of stuff he
-was working on, and then it was worth as much as it was insured for. So
-that helped some. Then old Dad Veek showed him the Red Avengers' warning
-Swatty had fastened on his barn door, and that was pretty bad, because
-the time it said the barn would burn down was the time it did burn.
-
-I guess he might have thought it was some men or something, if it hadn't
-been for the name of the Red Avengers. It sounded like boys. So Tom
-Burton found out there was a dime lib'ry named “The Red Avengers,”
- because one was hanging in Toady Williams's father's store window, and
-then he knew it was boys. So he asked Toady Williams if he knew anything
-about it, and Toady went and told him. He told him me and Swatty and
-Bony was the Red Avengers and that we had set the barn afire.
-
-We found all that out mighty soon, because it wasn't half an hour after
-Toady went out of the barn before Tom Burton came up. The tattle-tale
-had gone right to him.
-
-Tom Burton came up and he stood and talked to us. He told us he knew
-all about the Red Avengers and that he had our memorandum book with Dad
-Veek's name in it and everything, and that he knew who had written the
-memorandum book, and the notice that was daggered on Dad Veek's door,
-and everything, and he asked us which one of us done it. Gee, I was
-scared! But none of us said anything. Maybe we were too scared to.
-
-So then he said, “All right! it will only be a little while before all
-will be known, and the one that did it will surely be sent to reform
-school, so the other two, that didn't do it, had better tell on the one
-that did do it.”
-
-But none of us said anything. So he talked awhile and then he went away.
-Me and Bony didn't say anything.
-
-“Garsh!” Swatty said. “It's mighty bad.”
-
-Me and Bony didn't say anything yet. We was too scared. Bony began to
-blubber.
-
-“You don't need to cry,” Swatty told him. “You ain't going to be sent to
-reform school. You didn't do it.”
-
-“Well--well,” Bony blubbered. “You and Georgie didn't do it, either.”
-
-“Well, it don't matter whether we did it or didn't do it,” Swatty said.
-“We wrote down that we were going to do it, and they've got the warning
-and the memorandum book, and we both said we'd done it ourselves, and we
-both said the other had done it, and I guess they'll send us to reform
-school.” Bony kept on blubbering, so we told him he had better go home
-if he was a cry-baby, and he went. So then Swatty said:
-
-“I guess it ain't much use; but we've got to say, no matter how they ask
-us, that we ain't the Red Avengers.”
-
-“That'd be a lie,” I said.
-
-“Well, no, it wouldn't,” said Swatty, “because there won't be any Red
-Avengers, and we'll say, 'No, we ain't!' and that'll be the truth,
-because we won't be then. We'll bust up the Red Avengers right now.”
-
-So we took a vote and voted that we were not the Red Avengers any more
-and that we never had been the Red Avengers. So that settled that, but
-it didn't make us feel much better. We sat and thought awhile and then
-Swatty said:
-
-“I know! Georgie, you can ask Fan to tell Tom Burton to let us go free.”
-
-“Aw! that won't do any good,” I said.
-
-And I didn't think it would, but Swatty said it was our only chance, so
-I said I would ask Fan, and I did. I hated to, but I did it.
-
-
-
-
-XIII. THE ICE GOES OUT
-
-First, of course, I made Fan promise she would never tell, hope to die
-and cross her heart, and she promised, and then I told her all about the
-Red Avengers and how, if we did set Dad Veek's barn afire we didn't mean
-to, and she said she would talk to Tom Burton about it, but she said Tom
-Burton was stubborn and she would have to wait until she had the right
-chance. She was nicer than she had ever been to me.
-
-“Have you told anybody else?” she asked me.
-
-“No,” I said.
-
-“Did Swatty tell his brother Herbert?” she asked.
-
-“No. Nobody has told anybody,” I said.
-
-Well, me and Swatty felt pretty bad and scared and sick, and one reason
-was that Bony stopped playing with us. His father found out about the
-Red Avengers and made him promise he wouldn't play with me and Swatty
-any more because we were bad boys and would ruin Bony. So we never
-expected to play with Bony again, but we did, and this was how it
-happened.
-
-Bony's father and mother used to fight like everybody else, and about
-bills, because they were having a fight like that when Bony's father
-took the shotgun and went away from home. I guess it was a hat Bony's
-mother had bought that was the worst, but Bony wasn't sure. He said
-they began to fight when the grocery bill came and fought harder and
-harder the more bills there were, but it wasn't until the hat bill came
-that Bony's father stopped sassing back, and got solemn and quiet and
-said that sometimes he felt that it was no use trying to keep up the
-struggle against poverty and starvation, and that sometimes when these
-evidences of extravagance came in he felt just like going off somewhere
-by himself and ending everything. So then Bony's mother said, “Oh!
-nonsense!” and pretty soon Bony's father got his shotgun and went out of
-the house.
-
-So Bony just sat there in the room expecting every minute to hear the
-shotgun and to run out and see his father dead in the stable. He sat
-there and pretended to be studying his geography lesson for Monday, but
-all he was doing was listening to hear the shot. It was a mighty mean
-job, I guess, sitting there listening like that, and waiting to hear his
-father kill himself; but he didn't hear anything.
-
-So pretty soon he shut up his hook and sort of tiptoed out of the house,
-but he did not dare go near the stable. He didn't know what to do. He
-went out on the front steps and stood there, and pretty soon he saw me
-and Swatty at the corner, and he waved to us and came running, and we
-waited for him.
-
-It was January, but it wasn't cold because we were having a thaw. It was
-good snow to make snowballs of, so when Bony started to come toward us
-we made a few snowballs and just threw them at him. I guess we hit him
-five or six times, but he didn't beller for us to stop, like he usually
-does; he put his arm in front of his face and came right on. When he got
-too close for us to throw at him any more we stopped and then we saw he
-was crying.
-
-“Aw, shut up and don't be a baby!” Swatty said; “we didn't hurt you.”
- But Bony kept right on bawling. He didn't bawl the way a cowardy-calf
-bawls when he gets hurt, he bawled like--well, I guess he bawled like
-a fellow bawls when his father has gone off with a shotgun to shoot
-himself. So then we didn't tell him to shut up any more. Swatty said:
-
-“What's the matter, Bony?”
-
-So then Bony put his arm up against a tree and cried into it, and after
-he had cried awhile he said:
-
-“My--my fath-father's out in the barn sh-shooting himself with his
-shotgun!”
-
-“He ain't neither!” Swatty said, and I said it too.
-
-“He is, too, killing himself!” Bony said, and he blubbered at the same
-time. “You needn't think, just because your fath-fathers don't kill
-themselves, nobody else's father never kik-kills himself! My fa-father
-said he'd kik-kill himself, and if he said so he w-will!”
-
-“Aw! He ain't neither killing himself in the barn!” Swatty said, and I
-guess that made Bony mad, because it was like saying Bony's father was
-a liar, or that Bony was, anyway. Mostly Bony wouldn't fight, no matter
-what you said, because he's a cow-ardy-calf; but I guess when a fellow's
-father is killing himself in a barn or anywhere he don't care what
-happens to him, so Bony was so mad he forgot how easy Swatty could lick
-him, and he sort of howled like a cat when you step on its tail and
-he pitched into Swatty with both fists. So Swatty had to lick him. He
-licked him good. So when Swatty had him down and was sitting on him,
-Swatty said:
-
-“Now is your father killing himself in the barn?”
-
-“Yes, he is!” Bony blubbered, and then we knew that Bony's father was
-really going to kill himself, because if Bony hadn't been pretty sure
-he would have said he wasn't, because he knew how Swatty can push a
-fellow's nose into his face with the bottom of his hand when he has got
-him down and he don't say what Swatty wants him to say. So we knew it
-must be pretty serious. So Swatty didn't push Bony's nose, but he said:
-
-“Well, your father ain't killing himself in the barn, because he went by
-here a little while ago with his shotgun. How do you know he's going to
-kill himself?”
-
-“I know it because him and Mother was fighting over bills, and he said
-he would,” Bony said.
-
-So then Swatty said, aw! he didn't believe anybody would kill himself
-because he was fighting over bills. He said he didn't believe any
-grown-up man would fight over a little thing like bills; so that made me
-mad, and I said, aw! any man would fight over bills, and that my father
-did, and that my father was a better man than Swatty's father any day in
-the week and could lick Swatty's father any time they wanted to try it.
-And that was true, and Swatty knew it, because my father was bigger than
-his father and not so old. So Swatty said, aw! well, his oldest brother
-could lick my father, anyway. So I said he'd better try it if he wanted
-to find out, and Swatty said, Aw! And I guess that's all we said about
-that.
-
-Anyway, it didn't seem to make Bony feel any better that his father
-had taken his shotgun and had gone off somewhere else to kill himself
-instead of killing himself right at home in the barn. He kept right on
-with a kind of whine-blubber, even when Swatty and me were jawing, so
-Swatty said:
-
-“Aw! what you bellerin' about?”
-
-“I'll--I'll beller if I want to,” Bony said. “I guess you'd beller if
-your father was going to kill himself, you would.”
-
-“I would not so!” Swatty said. “What's the use of bellerin' when you
-can't do nothing about it? If he's going to kill himself, he's going to,
-and you can't help it. If my father was going to do what you said
-your father was going to do I'd let him do it, and I wouldn't spoil
-everybody's fun by bawling about it. I'd just go ahead and play like
-nothing was going to happen, until I had to go in and dress for the
-funeral.”
-
-Well, I guess that wasn't a very good thing for Swatty to say, because
-it made Bony blubber more than ever. So then Swatty got sore and
-disgusted and he said:
-
-“Aw! shut up, then, and we'll go and find your father and take the
-shotgun away from him, if you 're going to be a baby about it!”
-
-That's the way Swatty always is; me or Bony would never think of going
-and taking a shotgun away from a father that wanted to kill himself, and
-if we did think of it we would never dare to do it; but Swatty wouldn't
-care who he took a shotgun away from if he got mad because somebody
-bellered about nothing. So we knew he'd do it if we went along. So we
-went along.
-
-When we saw Bony's father go by with the shotgun he was going toward
-downtown, so me and Bony and Swatty started toward downtown, and we
-talked about where Bony's father would probably go to kill himself if he
-didn't want to kill himself in his barn, and none of us thought he would
-go downtown to do it because somebody might see him start to do it and
-stop him. So we talked about it and we made up our minds we would go
-over into the Illinois bottom, across the Mississippi, because a man
-once went over there to kill himself, and did it and nobody bothered him
-while he was doing it or knew about it until afterward.
-
-Of course the ferry wasn't running, but it was easy enough for Bony's
-father to get across the river because the ice was frozen and the river
-was closed and he could go over on the ice.
-
-We went down to the river. There was a good deal of water on the ice in
-some places, and the snow was mushy everywhere on it and it was pretty
-bad walking. I guess you know what the river is like when it is closed.
-There is a lot of snow on it because nobody shovels it off, and they
-couldn't if they tried, because the river is three quarters of a mile
-wide there, and there's no place to shovel the snow to, and it's just as
-good right where it is as it would be anywhere else.
-
-But before the thaw comes the snow blows off some of the smooth places
-and banks up against the rough places on the ice in drifts. The river
-don't freeze over all at once--the ice floats down and jams and stops
-and the bare places between freeze over; but when the ice jams, it
-crumples up on the edges and makes ridges, and it is where the ridges
-are that the snow banks up into drifts. Sometimes the drifts are all
-around a smooth sheet of ice, and then when the snow begins to melt, the
-smooth ice turns into a sort of pond, and maybe the water on top of the
-ice is an inch deep and maybe it is more.
-
-Here and there there are air holes, because I guess a river has to
-breathe like anybody else and the air holes are where it breathes. They
-are different sizes.
-
-Well, the road across the river on the ice is always crooked. The
-farmers over in Illinois make the road to bring over cordwood and hay
-and stuff, because they can bring it over on the ice free and it costs
-twenty-five cents a load when the ferry is running.
-
-So the first farmer that dares drive across on the ice starts out from
-the Illinois shore, and he starts straight, but pretty soon he has to
-curve around a drift, and then he has to curve around an air hole, and
-then he has to go around a piece of ice that looks thin, and by the
-time he has got to town he has made a crooked road; and the next farmer
-drives in the same path, because the first farmer's horses' shoes have
-roughed it up a little and made it easier to travel.
-
-So that is how the road gets made, and before very long it gets to be
-quite a road. It gets dark and dirty from the horses and the dirt off
-the cordwood and maybe some coal the farmers take home, and there are
-wisps of hay all along, rubbed off loads when they passed other teams.
-
-By the time the thaw comes, a good deal of the river in front of town
-gets so you know how it looks, just like the town itself. The wood
-road goes zigzagging across, and maybe--if it is a cold winter--the
-trotting-horse men have a speed track on the ice that is different from
-the wood road and marked off to show a mile. Wagon loads of waste stuff
-get dumped on the ice in piles and maybe a dozen or two dozen dead
-horses. You get so you know how it looks, and you get to feeling as if
-the river had always been frozen over and had always looked like that.
-Maybe you have names for things, so anybody like Swatty or Bony knows
-what you mean when you say: “You know, where the wood road comes nearest
-to the horseshoe air hole.”
-
-Well, it was pretty mushy when we started across the river. It was warm,
-too, warm enough to make us sweat; but there was a good breeze blowing
-from the Illinois shore and it wasn't as warm as it might have been.
-But, anyway, it was warm. Swatty showed us where to go. He went first
-and we went behind him, and pretty soon we were far off the wood road
-because wherever there was a drier place he went that way.
-
-When we got out toward the middle of the river, away from the town dirt,
-I wished we hadn't come. Out there the ice hadn't been cut up by being
-skated on, and there were whole big places where the ice was perfectly
-smooth and green and clear, and with the snow water on top of it we
-couldn't tell whether it was ice or air hole. We had to walk on the snow
-close to the ridges, because there we knew there was ice under us, even
-if we did wade through slush up to our knees. It was scary enough for
-anybody and Bony began to cry.
-
-I guess we would have gone back if it hadn't been for Swatty, and even
-Swatty didn't tell Bony to shut up and stop crying. I guess Swatty felt
-pretty scared himself. You couldn't see anybody on the ice anywhere; we
-were the only ones. I guess everybody was afraid to go on the ice, it
-was getting so rotten. That's what I thought then, but it wasn't the
-reason; Swatty knew the real reason, but he didn't tell us then because
-he was afraid we would be more scared than we were. Nobody was on the
-ice because they were afraid it might go out any minute.
-
-So all Swatty did was to say, “Hurry up!” because he was afraid if we
-didn't hurry up maybe the ice would go out before we got across, and
-nobody likes to get drowned in ice water.
-
-So pretty soon we came to a place where there wasn't any snow and where
-there were no ridges--nothing but clear ice with water on it, and the
-wind making little ripples. Bony cried, and I said, “Aw! let's go back,
-Swatty!” because you couldn't tell whether it was ice under that water
-or air hole. Swatty looked all around, but he couldn't see any way to
-get to Illinois but to cross right over. Neither could any of us. So
-Swatty said:
-
-“All right for you! You and Bony can let his father kill himself if you
-want to; but I won't, and when I get back I'll lick you both.”
-
-Well, we didn't care if he did lick us. We'd rather be licked than be
-drowned. So Swatty said:
-
-“Aw! Come on! I wouldn't have come if I thought you were a couple of
-cry-baby cowardy-calves. I'll dare you to come!”
-
-But we didn't. So Swatty said:
-
-“I double tribble dare you, and whoever don't take the dare is a
-sooner!”
-
-Well, a sooner was the worst thing anybody could call you; even Bony
-would fight if you called him a sooner, but we didn't care what he
-called us; but just then we heard a gun go off over in the woods, and
-before either of us could stop him Bony started. He ran right out on the
-wet ice, crying and blubbering, and he fell down in the water and got
-up again and ran on. Every little while he would fall down, but he would
-get right up and run again. The water was almost up to his knees, but
-he didn't care. I guess he kind of liked his father and wanted to get to
-him.
-
-Swatty shouted and told him to stop and come back, or anyway to wait for
-us, but Bony ran right on. Swatty shouted:
-
-“Hey, Bony! come back, I was only fooling! Your father ain't going to
-kill himself.”
-
-Because Swatty knew Bony's father wasn't going to kill himself, but he
-was afraid Bony would be drowned. He just wanted us to cross the river
-because nobody had ever crossed it when the ice was so rotten and we
-would be the first that ever did it, and he knew we wouldn't do it
-unless we thought we were going to save Bony's father, or something. So
-all we could do was to go after Bony, and we did. We waded through the
-water after Bony, and I was glad Bony had gone first because we were
-sure there was no air hole where Bony had been ahead of us.
-
-But I made Swatty give me his hand anyway. I didn't like it much. I
-didn't like it any.
-
-Well, we got across, and before we got across Bony had reached the shore
-ice. It was pretty rotten and it rubbered down under him, and if he
-hadn't been running so fast I guess he would have broken through. Then
-he stopped and looked, because between him and the shore was a wide open
-space--no ice, nothing but water. He just stopped and looked, and then
-looked back at us and then he ran to the edge of the ice, and it broke
-under him and he was in water up to his arms. It was because there was a
-long sandbar reached out from the shore there; if not he would have been
-drowned. So he walked through the water about half a block and me and
-Swatty went after him. Gee, it was cold!
-
-When we got ashore Bony was up in the woods and we could hear him
-shouting, “Papa! Papa!” and crying, too. It was kind of a sick shout,
-part cry and part shout. It sounded like “Pwaw-pwa! Uh-uh! Pwaw-pa!” and
-then “_Pwaw_-pwa! _Pwaw_-pwa!” and then “Uh-uh-uh!” like a little kid
-cries when it has lost a penny it meant to get candy with and has cried
-all the way home.
-
-All of a sudden we heard the shotgun again. It was toward down-river and
-not near us at all. Bony heard it, too, and he stopped to listen and we
-caught up with him. I guess he was as good as crazy, because when we got
-to him he started to run, and he ran right into a grapevine tangle and
-began pulling and pushing through it, although he could have taken ten
-steps and have gone around it. I guess he must have liked his father a
-lot to get so crazy about him. Swatty went right after him. He swore at
-him in German and told him that the way was to go out on the shore where
-the sand was, so he could run faster. So Bony went and we went, too, and
-we all ran.
-
-We didn't say much. Swatty kept telling Bony what kind of a fool he was
-for thinking his father was going to kill himself, and Bony kept sobbing
-and running. I guess maybe I cried a little, too. I felt kind of--I
-don't know--frightened, I guess. So then we got around the bend, and all
-at once we saw Bony's father.
-
-He was out on the ice. When we saw him first he was about as far out on
-the ice as two blocks would be, and he had on his rubber boots and his
-hunting coat, and it looked bulged around the pockets, so me and Swatty
-knew he had been hunting and had got two rabbits, or maybe three. We
-guessed that what had happened was that when he got sick of fighting
-about bills he went hunting, to forget about it, because Swatty's
-father--when he felt that way--went down to his tailor shop and sewed
-coats or pants, and when my father felt that way he would go out and
-split wood or maybe clean out the barn. But I guess Bony's father
-thought he'd go hunting. I guess maybe he thought he'd like to kill
-something.
-
-When we saw him out on the ice he was walking fast, or sort of running,
-going toward the Iowa shore, but that wasn't what scared us. What
-scared us was that the ice was moving!
-
-We didn't see it at first. Bony was yelling at his father, and his
-father heard him and turned and looked back, and then started to run
-toward us. Where we were, at the bend, the ice came close in to the high
-bank and on the ice there was a limb of a big tree. Somebody had made
-a fire under it and it was partly burned. Bony ran up and down the bank
-looking for a good place to climb down, but Swatty was going to slide
-down right there and let his feet get on that old dead limb. But when
-Bony's father saw Bony running up and down he shouted to Jim, “Back!
-Back!” Swatty looked at Bony's father to see why he was shouting that.
-Then he looked down at the old limb again. It had moved along!
-
-Well, you bet he was frightened for a minute! He wasn't thinking of the
-ice, he was thinking of that dead branch, and for a dead branch to start
-and move like that isn't natural. He felt the way you feel when you go
-to pick up a stick and it is a live snake. For a minute he just stood
-and held his breath and was scared, and then he saw it wasn't the dead
-limb that was moving but the ice, and he grabbed my arm and pointed. And
-just then the fire-whistle on the waterworks over in town began to blow.
-
-That was a sure sign the ice was going out, It was to let folks know
-so they could come down and see the ice go out because, you bet, it is
-worth seeing. You can't tell what the ice will do when it starts to go
-out.
-
-So then we knew the ice must be going out faster on the Iowa side than
-on our side. What Bony's father was trying to say and do was to tell us
-to keep off the ice, and to get off it himself; but he did not have to
-tell us much because before he got close enough for us to hear him much
-the ice was making such a noise we couldn't hear him at all. And he
-couldn't get off! The ice began to pile up against the upper side of the
-bend, shearing itself off and sliding on top of itself and leaving a big
-open space below the bend.
-
-Well, I guess Bony cried then! And he had something to cry about that
-time. His father came running as near as he could to us, but it wasn't
-very near, because the ice near shore was cracking up into big pieces.
-He ran up-stream on the ice, shouting to us all the time, but the ice
-was going downstream, and at last it floated down so there was an air
-hole opposite us and he had to stop. I say he had to stop, but he kept
-going, because the ice carried him on down the river. He looked all
-around, and then waved his arm at us and started to run toward the Tow
-Head.
-
-The Tow Head is a big island in the river but nearer Iowa than Illinois,
-where we were. The wind was pushing the ice over that way, and I guess
-he thought maybe he could get off the ice on the Tow Head if he could
-get there before the ice carried him by.
-
-Bony's father ran around the air hole and kept running up and across,
-and he ran hard; but by that time the ice was going pretty fast, so me
-and Swatty and Bony got down to the sand and ran down-stream as fast
-as we could. Or maybe not as fast as we could; we kept even with Bony's
-father. He was running up-stream but he was going downstream all the
-time.
-
-Pretty soon the old race track the men had made on the ice went by, and
-then the end of the wood road went by. It was funny to think that me and
-Bony and Swatty were running one way and Bony's father the other way,
-and that we kept right opposite each other. But it wasn't very funny,
-because we all thought Bony's father would be drowned.
-
-Well, the ice went past the Tow Head. It went past before Bony's father
-was halfway to the Tow Head, and he stopped running and stood still.
-Then he turned and started to run toward us again.
-
-On our side of the river the water between the shore and the ice was
-getting wider and wider, because the river was wider here and because
-the wind was blowing the ice toward the Iowa shore. If I had been Bony's
-father I would have run for the Iowa shore because the ice was pushing
-up against it, but it would have been foolish because the Tow Head was
-like a knife and split all the ice as it came to it. Nobody could get
-across from where Bony's father was to the Iowa shore, but I did
-not think of that. But Bony's father did. So did Swatty. He said so
-afterward. He said he would have done just what Bony's father did.
-
-Bony was crying, of course, and he was running in front, because he
-wanted to see his father drowned if he was drowned, I guess. I was next,
-but Swatty was behind because he had stopped to look, and that was the
-way we were when we came to the mouth of the First Slough. The ice was
-rubbery, but Bony and me ran across and up the bank and in through the
-woods--you have to, there--and kept right on as soon as we came out on
-the shore.
-
-Bony's father was getting nearer and nearer, but the stretch of water
-was getting wider. It was too wide for anybody to swim, of course. I
-felt kind of sick. I don't know why--I guess it was because I thought,
-all at once, that I was running like that just to see a man drown in the
-river, and it made me sick. I shouted to Bony, but he kept on running
-and then I looked at Bony's father.
-
-He was still running, but he had his hand in the air and he was waving
-a white handkerchief, and then he put it in his pocket and just ran.
-Pretty soon I looked back for Swatty, and I saw him!
-
-He wasn't on the shore. He--but that's what Swatty is like. He was in a
-skiff, rowing as hard as he could toward the ice!
-
-Bony and me had run across the First Slough without thinking of anything
-but hurrying up, but Swatty, when he came to the Slough, thought, “Well,
-if anybody has a boat around here they would haul it into the Slough
-where the river ice wouldn't sweep it away or crush it.” So he just took
-a look, and there was a skiff. It was hauled up under a tree and
-padlocked to the tree. It looked as if it was there for good and all,
-but when Swatty looked at the boat the chain was just stapled into the
-boat and all he did was pry out the staple with a piece of driftwood.
-There were no oarlocks, but you can make a thole pin with a piece of
-wood, and that was what Swatty did. He made thole pins with pieces of
-driftwood and he pried the skiff down to the ice and slid it to the
-river, and then he jumped in and began rowing with two pieces of
-driftwood for oars.
-
-I shouted to Bony and he stopped, and we turned back and ran. Swatty was
-n't trying to keep up with the ice, he was trying to get to it any way
-he could, and he was having a pretty hard time of it. First one thole
-pin broke and then the other and he had to paddle. I thought he'd never
-reach the ice.
-
-[Illustration: 316]
-
-Even Bony stopped crying.
-
-Well, Swatty got to the ice, but he couldn't land on it. He just sort of
-hugged it with the boat, and Bony and me had to run again to keep even
-with him. Then Bony's father came to the edge of the ice and tried it
-carefully with his foot, but it was firm because all the weak ice had
-been scraped off at the bend. So all he did was to get into the boat. It
-was easy. Then he took one of the pieces of driftwood and helped Swatty
-paddle.
-
-So then everything was all right and Bony's father wasn't drowned or
-hadn't shot himself or anything, so Bony began to cry again.
-
-It took us a long time to get the boat back where it belonged and a
-longer time to walk back to opposite the town. It was dark when we got
-there and the ice was still going by, and we knew it might be a week
-before we could get across the river again; but all at once we heard a
-rifle or a shotgun across the river, and then Bony's father fired his,
-and that let them know he was all right. So then we all worked and
-built a big driftwood fire and when it was burning we walked in front of
-it--one, two, three, four, and then back again: one, two, three, four.
-We hoped they could see there were four of us and that we were all
-right.
-
-And they did, because right away somebody shot off a pistol--one, two,
-three, four. That meant they knew there were four of us.
-
-Well, it was two days before we could get across the river again, but we
-got our meals at a house up on the bluff and slept in their barn, and it
-was good enough fun.
-
-When Bony got home his father said:
-
-“Mother, look at this young hero! If it hadn't been for those boys I
-would be dead this minute. Now, stop crying over him, and go and make
-him the biggest lemon meringue pie he ever saw!”
-
-So I guess Bony felt all right. But when I got home Mother said:
-
-“Well, thank goodness you 're back! That child--Mamie Little--has
-pestered the life out of me ever since you went away. For mercy's sake,
-run over and tell her you're home again!”
-
-That was all right, but the best was that Bony's father wasn't mad at
-us any more and he talked with us about Dad Veek's barn. He was pretty
-solemn about it, and when we had told him all we wanted to he said it
-looked serious, but he would help us all he could, and the first thing
-he did was to go to Judge Hannan's office and see Herb Schwartz. So he
-found that Herb was already bestirring himself, but when Bony's father
-talked to him he said he would bestir himself more than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIV. HERB BESTIRS
-
-Well, the first thing Herb Schwartz did was to ask me and Swatty to go
-down to Judge Hannan's office after school one day and we went. Bony
-didn't go because Herb didn't want him to, and when we went in the
-office Herb was sitting at a desk and he turned around in his chair
-and told us to sit down. So we did. We thought maybe the first thing
-he would tell us was that we were doomed and plumb goners, and how many
-years we'd have to be in reform school, but he didn't. He looked at me
-and said:
-
-“Well, George, how is your sister Frances?”
-
-“She's pretty good, I guess,” I told him.
-
-“That's nice,” he said. “And how do you like having that Burton fellow
-of hers bestirring himself around to put you in reform school.”
-
-“I don't know,” I said. “I guess I don't like it very well.”
-
-“I shouldn't think you would,” he said. “But I suppose your sister
-Frances likes it.”
-
-“She does not!” I said.
-
-“That's strange,” he said. “She thinks you are a totally depraved young
-reprobate, don't she? It seems to me that the last conversation I had
-with her she said that, or words to that effect. I supposed she was the
-one that set that Burton fellow on you.”
-
-“No, she didn't!” I said. “My mother did.”
-
-“Oh! your mother did, did she?” Herb asked, but he grinned.
-
-“No, she didn't either,” I said. “All she did was to get Tom Burton to
-bestir himself, so Dad Veek wouldn't go to jail or anything. She didn't
-know he was going to bestir himself against me and Swatty. My mother
-don't want me to go to reform school. And Fan don't.”
-
-So then Herb asked Swatty if, for goodness' sake! he couldn't sit still
-without knocking his heels against his chair. Then he said to me:
-
-“Is it possible that your sister believes you are capable of
-regeneration?”
-
-“I don't know what it is,” I told him, “but I guess so.”
-
-“I mean,” Herb said, “she thinks there may be some good in you after
-all, does she?”
-
-“Yes, sir,” I said.
-
-So then he laughed and shook his head as if it was funny. I guess I knew
-why. I guess it was because the reason Fan had thrown his ring at him
-was because he said I was some good and she said I wasn't, and now she
-thought the way he thought.
-
-Then Herb sobered up and asked about the fire and we told him
-everything, even about the Red Avengers. He asked questions and we
-answered them, and he seemed to know almost more about it than we did.
-He knew about what we told Toady Williams when we were just bragging and
-that we had bragged that we had set the barn afire.
-
-“But that was just pretend,” I said.
-
-“A mighty bad kind of pretend,” Herb said, and he asked us some more
-questions. He would look at some papers on his desk and then ask some
-more questions. When he got through asking he said: “Well, if the case
-has to go into court Mr. Rascop will defend you two young rascals, and
-if the case comes before Judge Hannan I think you'll have every chance
-that can be hoped for, but I don't like the looks of things. Judge
-Hannan knows what boys are, but if the case goes before some old stiff
-it is going to be hard to make him think your brag to Toady Williams
-was just pure brag. At the best it looks as if one of you two must have
-dropped a com-silk cigarette stub in the shavings. You two had better
-walk straight and keep out of trouble from now on. I'll do what I can
-for you.”
-
-So we went out and we were pretty scared. We didn't say much. We just
-walked along for a while. Then Swatty said:
-
-“Say! I know who wrote all those questions Herb asked us.”
-
-“Who did?” I asked him.
-
-“Fan did,” he said, “because I saw what Herb was reading from, and I saw
-the last page and it said, 'Yours humbly, Frances.'”
-
-So that was how Herb knew so much about it, because I had told Fan and
-she had told Herb in the letter. At first I was pretty mad that
-she should be a tattle-tale but then I guessed that was how she was
-bestirring herself, because it didn't do any good to bestir with Tom
-Burton.
-
-When I got home it was almost supper time but Fan came to the front
-porch when she heard me and asked me if I had seen Herb, and all about
-it, and I told her.
-
-“Well, Georgie,” she said, “I'll stick by you through thick and thin,”
- and then she began to cry and ran into the house, and I went in and
-mother stopped me in the hall.
-
-“George,” she said, “this is a terrible affair and I don't know what
-will be the end of it, but if I could give my life to keep you from harm
-I would gladly do so. And, whatever comes of it, you must be tender
-to Fan, because she quarreled with Herb because of you and now she has
-quarreled with Tom, and she loves you very much,” or something like
-that.
-
-So I felt pretty mean, because a boy don't like that kind of talk, and
-when I went upstairs and Lucy was coming down I gave her a push. She
-said: “You stop that! Are you and Swatty going to reform school?”
-
-“None of your business,” I told her.
-
-“Oh! you don't need to think I'd ask you, smarty!” she said. “I don't
-care. I only asked you because Mamie Little asked me to ask you.”
-
-So then I felt how awful it would be to go to reform school and
-everything and I went up to my room and cried on my bed. I was up there,
-but mostly done crying, when my father came up. He put his hand on me
-and said:
-
-“Here, now! None of this, old sport. Buck up! We'll get you out of this
-all right, some way. Come on down to supper.”
-
-So then he kissed me. He hadn't kissed me for a long time before that,
-because men don't, but it was all right this time. I went down to supper
-like he said.
-
-Well, Herb and my father and Swatty and me had a meeting nearly every
-night in our dining-room and talked about how we were getting along, but
-we weren't getting along very much. The only thing that got along
-was Fan, and she was making up to Herb again. She would come into the
-dining-room and sit and talk to Herb and father, but she couldn't fool
-me. She was making up to Herb all right. I could see that.
-
-Well, one day Tom Burton came over to our house and Fan and Tom Burton
-had a regular row. It was a dandy. And that settled Tom, I guess. He
-never came to our house again.
-
-Me and Swatty had to go to school just the same as ever. I wished, if
-they were going to send us to reform school they would go ahead and do
-it, because Miss Carter began to get mean to us. Professor Martin was
-back and nearly every day Miss Carter kept us in school and Professor
-Martin came in and talked to her while she kept us in. Mostly they
-walked home together, because me and Swatty saw them.
-
-Well, me and Swatty had been sort of mad at Bony, like I told you, but
-you can't keep mad always, and we started to letting him be with us
-again. So one day me and Swatty and Bony got out of school late, because
-Miss Carter had kept us in, and Scratch-Cat had been kept in, too. We
-all came out of the schoolhouse together. It was almost spring again and
-Bony had some marbles he had bought, so we said:
-
-“Let's play marbles.”
-
-Scratch-Cat didn't want to.
-
-“Well, you don't have to,” Swatty told her. “You're a girl, anyway. What
-do you want to play?”
-
-“I don't want to play anything,” she said. “I've got a better game than
-a play-game, and you can be in it if you want to.”
-
-“What is it, then?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Secret society,” Scratch-Cat said. “I thought it all up in school
-to-day and it's Gypsies. Swatty will be the king and I'll be the queen,
-and Georgie and Bony can be princes, and we 'll take an oath to be mean
-to Miss Carter or anybody that keeps us in school or anything. We'll
-think up things to do to them, and when Miss Carter and Professor Martin
-are married we'll steal their children and raise them to be gypsies--”
-
-“Aw!” I said, “they ain't going to be married.”
-
-“Yes, they are!” Scratch-Cat said. “Because I saw him kiss her. He
-kissed her in the cloak room almost before I was out of it, just now.”
-
-“Well, we ain't going to be secret gypsies or any secret society,” Bony
-said, “because me and Swatty and Bony have one already.”
-
-“No, we haven't,” Swatty said.
-
-“We have, too!” Bony said. “We've got the Red Aven--”
-
-He stopped pretty short, you bet.
-
-“No, we haven't,” Swatty said again. “We never had. We had a meeting
-and voted that there wouldn't be any Red Avengers any more and that
-there never had been.”
-
-“But--but you couldn't,” Bony said.
-
-“Yes, we could,” Swatty said. “We started it and I guess we had a right
-to stop it. Me and Georgie we voted on it. There never was any Red
-Avengers. And I'll lick anybody that says there was.”
-
-“But--but don't we have to be true to the oath any more?” Bony asked.
-
-“Pooh, no!” Swatty said. “When there ain't any Red Avengers there ain't
-any Red Avengers' oath, or nothing.”
-
-“And can't anybody put me in state's prison for saying what the oath
-says I mustn't tell about any Red Avenger?” asked Bony.
-
-“No, sir!” said Swatty. “That oath is a dead oath and don't count no
-more.”
-
-“Well, then,” Bony said. “Toady did it!”
-
-“Did what?” Swatty asked.
-
-“Toady set the barn afire,” Bony said, still pretty scared. “I couldn't
-tell, because I took oath not to tell on any Red Avenger, but if there
-ain't any oath Toady did it. I saw him. He had a pack of real cigarettes
-and he didn't dare smoke while he was skating because Miss Carter was
-skating on the creek, too.
-
-“So I guess Toady thought he would go up to the Nest to have a smoke,”
- Bony went on, “and I was going home. So when we got up to the Nest he
-asked me if I wanted to smoke a real cigarette, and I said I didn't. So
-Toady lit one and threw down the match, and it set the shavings afire.
-So he tried to stamp the fire out, but it spread too fast, and so he
-ran, and I ran, and when we looked back the barn was all afire. So he
-said that if I ever told he would have me sent to state's prison for
-breaking the Red Avengers' oath and telling on a fellow comrade. But he
-did it, and I saw him do it.”
-
-Well, Swatty got up and gave a yell and he had to hit some one, so he
-hit Scratch-Cat, and she went for him and they had a good fight, but
-Swatty was laughing all the time, and he didn't fight as hard as he
-mostly did. When they got through fighting they shook hands, and we all
-went down to Herb's and he listened to what we had to tell him.
-
-That ended it, except that he sent the engagement ring back to Fan in a
-letter and she kept it, and Mr. Williams, who was Toady's father,
-moved out of town mighty quick and took Toady with him, because Herb
-telephoned him right away and I guess he thought he had better do it.
-
-So that's all. Me and Swatty didn't go to reform school. We didn't go
-anywhere. The only others that went anywhere were Herb and Fan. They
-went on a marriage trip, or whatever you call it.
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: Swatty
-A Story of Real Boys
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44154]
-Last Updated: March 11, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SWATTY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-<div style="height: 8em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h1>
-SWATTY
-</h1>
-<h1>
-A Story of Real Boys
-</h1>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<h2>
-By Ellis Parker Butler
-</h2>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<h5>
-With Illustrations
-</h5>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<h4>
-HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY <br /> <br /> 1920
-</h4>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
-<img alt="swatTP (34K)" src="images/swatTP.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
-</div>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
-<img alt="frontispiece (64K)" src="images/frontispiece.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
-</div>
-<p>
-<br />
-</p>
-<h5>
-TO FRED ERNST SCHMIDT <br /><br /> OF MUSCATINE, IOWA THE FAITHFUL COMPANION
-OF MY BOYHOOD THIS BOOK IS MOST GRATEFULLY INSCRIBED
-</h5>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<p>
-<b>CONTENTS</b>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>SWATTY</b> </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0002"> I. THE BIG RIVER </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0003"> II. MAMIE'S FATHER </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0004"> III. THE &ldquo;DIVORCE&rdquo; </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0005"> IV. THE STUMP </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0006"> V. SCRATCH-CAT </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0007"> VI. THE CARDINAL'S SIGNET RING </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VII. THE HAUNTED HOUSE </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VIII. WASTED EFFORT </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0010"> IX. THE MURDERERS </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0011"> X. SLIM FINNEGAN </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0012"> XI. &ldquo;THIEF! THIEF!&rdquo; </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XII. THE RED AVENGERS </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XIII. THE ICE GOES OUT </a>
-</p>
-<p class="toc">
-<a href="#link2H_4_0015"> XIV. HERB BESTIRS </a>
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-SWATTY
-</h2>
-<h3>
-A STORY OF REAL BOYS
-</h3>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-I. THE BIG RIVER
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span> guess if teachers always knew how lickings were going to turn out they
-wouldn't lick us fellows so much. I am thinking about Miss Murphy, the one
-that taught the room me and Swatty and Bony was in, and about the time she
-was going to lick Swatty. One of the times. There were plenty of others.
-</p>
-<p>
-You see, me and Swatty and Bony is chums, and we go together mostly, but
-this was when we was in Miss Murphy's room. She's a good-looker, but she's
-a tartar, too, when it comes to licking.
-</p>
-<p>
-The way of it was this: My sister Fan was mushy over Swatty's brother Herb
-and she didn't care who knew it, because they were engaged, and Fan was
-fixing up her things to get married in, and she wished I was a girl so I
-could be her flower girl at the wedding, but she didn't know what she'd do
-with me. She thought maybe she'd lock me in the cellar, she said, but she
-didn't mean it. She was always codding me and Swatty. She'd cod us that
-way, and then she'd give us a dime or something. She was all right, and
-Swatty thought so too.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Fan and Herb had a fight, like girls and fellows always do have;
-but this was a good one. It was because Herb said maybe Fan would like to
-have Miss Murphy for a bridesmaid, and Fan got mad because Herb had gone
-with Miss Murphy once. So then Fan wouldn't forgive Herb. Herb came over
-and fought for three evenings, and then Swatty brought a note from him to
-Fan, and I took one from Fan to Herb, and that was the end of it. The note
-I took had a ring in it, because I could feel it. Then Fan just moped
-around the house and cried some, and after a while Herb had to go and
-teach the eighth grade at school, because Professor Martin broke his leg
-on the ice the janitor ought to have scraped off the steps but didn't. So
-right away Herb began to get thick with Miss Murphy, but that didn't make
-any difference to me. As soon as a fellow hasn't got one girl he has
-another one, anyway, and I didn't blame Herb. I was just sorry for Fan.
-And I thought Herb was crazy to make up to a school-teacher, especially a
-tartar like Miss Murphy. She was an awful licker. She'd lick a fellow for
-anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, one day me and Swatty was going to school and we was talking at each
-other the way we always did, and I said he thought he was great, didn't
-he, because his brother was Miss Murphy's beau, and Miss Muiphy wouldn't
-lick him when his brother was her beau. I didn't mean anything, I just
-said it, but Swatty hauled off and hit me one and dared me to say that
-again. So I said it again, and all the fellows got around and yelled
-&ldquo;Fight! Fight!&rdquo; and I had to fight him. It would have been a pretty good
-fight if Miss Murphy hadn't come along. She jumped right at us and grabbed
-us both.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who started this fight?&rdquo; she asked, hopping mad.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He did,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Didn't neither!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;He did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who struck the first blow?&rdquo; says Miss Muiphy.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, everybody told her Swatty did, which was the truth, and she let me
-go.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Just as I thought, you&mdash;you little bulldozer,&rdquo; she said, shaking
-him. &ldquo;You've been getting entirely too uppish of late, young man. You
-think you can take advantage of&mdash;of circumstances; but I'll teach you
-a thing or two. Get into school there, and wash yourself, and see that you
-are in your seat when the bell rings.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Swatty did it. Me and the Bony Highlander stayed out till the bell
-rung, and then we went in, too, and as we went past Swatty's desk he
-whispered, &ldquo;She thinks she's going to lick me, but she ain't.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Bet she does, if she said so,&rdquo; I says; and I bet she would, too. So did
-the Bony Highlander, because we knew she was the sort that would rather
-lick a fellow than not.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was in the morning, and they never lick at noon because the way
-some fellows wriggle and twist it takes a long time to lick them, and it
-would use up the noon hour. So they lick after school in the afternoon
-when there is plenty of time. So me and the Bony Highlander waited for
-Swatty, and we tried to scare him. We told him we bet Miss Murphy would
-make him holler, because she licked with a rawhide pony switch and whipped
-on the legs where the switch would wrap around and sting, but we couldn't
-get Swatty to even pretend he might holler. He said no teacher in the
-world could make him holler. We all said it. Or, I don't know whether the
-Bony Highlander said it or not. He'd never been licked in school. He
-wasn't the kind that gets licked, somehow. But he was a pretty nice
-fellow, anyway. We liked him just as well, but not as well as Swatty and
-me liked each other of course, because me and Swatty was cow-cousins.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty was both raised on the milk of the same cow, but it was
-Schwartzes' cow, and when I was being raised on it Herb Schwartz used to
-fetch the milk around, the way Swatty does now. I guess that's how Herb
-got to know Fan. But the Bony Highlander was just a kid that moved into
-the neighborhood.
-</p>
-<p>
-His name wasn't really Bony Highlander, but we called him that because
-when he was reading a piece of poetry out of the Reader in school, and
-ought to have said &ldquo;bonny Highlander,&rdquo; he said &ldquo;bony Highlander.&rdquo; But we
-mostly called him Bony for short, like we called Schwartzy Swatty for
-short. He was all right, but he never started to do things; he just went
-along when we did them, and waited on the outside of the fence, and things
-like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we waited on the corner for Swatty that afternoon until the bell
-rung but he didn't come, so we went along, and he was at school already,
-and after he had stayed in to be licked and Miss Murphy let him out, he
-told us why he went early. He knew where she kept her rawhide, in the
-closet at the end of the room on the shelf where the chalk boxes were, and
-he went early at noon and took his pocket-knife and cut the rawhide into
-little pieces about an inch long. He laid them all out on the shelf in a
-row, and he said he nearly died laughing when she went to pick it up and
-it was all in pieces. So Miss Murphy went to get another rawhide from
-another teacher, but everybody had gone home, and she told Swatty she
-would tend to him to-morrow.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'd rather have been licked to-day and then I'd be done with it,&rdquo; I said,
-but Swatty didn't say so.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If you've got a licking,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you've got it, and you can't ever
-un-get it, but I ain't ever going to get this one. I'll run away first.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ah, I bet you get it to-morrow,&rdquo; I said, and the Bony Highlander said so
-too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Bet I don't!&rdquo; said Swatty. So we made a bet. I bet him my clay pipe
-against a nigger-shooter rubber he had.
-</p>
-<p>
-So the next day was when we'd know, and at noon Swatty came over to my
-barn to get some oilcloth we had in the barn to put in his pants so the
-licking wouldn't hurt so much, and I guessed I would win the bet. But he
-couldn't fix the oilcloth so it would do any good and let him sit down. He
-thought Miss Murphy would be onto it if he couldn't sit down. So he gave
-that up. So we went to school.
-</p>
-<p>
-When school was nearly out Swatty got up and started to walk down his
-aisle and up the next, like he was going out for a drink, but Miss Murphy,
-who was doing an example on the blackboard for the B class, turned around
-and saw him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where are you going?&rdquo; she asked, like tacks in a bottle.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Just to get a drink,&rdquo; said Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You take your seat this instant!&rdquo; said Miss Murphy, and when she said it,
-Swatty started to run; but she got there first and headed him off and
-grabbed him by the arm. He kicked at her shins, but she gave him a shake
-that made him see stars and marched him back to the end of the room. I
-thought she was going to take him to his seat, but she didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-Our schoolhouse has four rooms on a floor&mdash;two in front and two in
-back&mdash;and the hall comes in the middle, but it don't run all the way
-from front to back. In the middle in front on the second floor there is a
-little room with some books in it, and they call it the library room.
-</p>
-<p>
-It has a window and three doors&mdash;one into the hall and one into our
-room, and one into the room across the hall. So Miss Murphy yanked Swatty
-into that room and locked all three doors. So she had him safe until she
-got ready to lick him. Then she was going to unlock the door and bring him
-out and do a good job, because she had a new rawhide all ready. I guess
-she made up her mind she'd lick him until he hollered that time.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Swatty waited until school was out. Then he had to wait until Miss
-Murphy got rid of the ones she had kept in to write their names five
-hundred times, and things like that, but he didn't wait. He opened the
-window and looked out, and right below him was the peak roof of the porch.
-It wasn't very big, and it was slated, and if he slipped he'd be a goner
-and break a leg or something, but he got onto the window sill and hung
-down with his hands on the sill, and dropped. He dropped straddle of the
-roof and hung on the best way he could.
-</p>
-<p>
-He said the only thing he thought about was what a fool he had been not to
-shut the window, but it was J une and most of the windows were wide open
-anyway, and I guess Miss Murphy didn't notice. She unlocked the door and
-looked into the room and Swatty wasn't there. Then I guess she thought
-maybe somebody had come to the library room for a book and had let Swatty
-out. She never put her head out of the window at all. So she was beaten
-that time, and she went home.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Swatty waited until the janitor had swept all the rooms and started to
-sweep the walk and he hollered to him. It is none of the janitor's
-business who gets licked or who don't, so he came up to the room and
-helped Swatty get in the window. He just laughed about it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So the next day Swatty went to school just the same as always, but at noon
-he came over to my barn and Bony came with him. They generally came
-because I had to feed my rabbits at noon. This time Swatty sort of poked
-at the sawdust that was the floor of our barn and didn't say much. He most
-generally wore his hat on the back of his head, but this time he had it
-pulled down over his eyes and that was the way he did when he was getting
-ready to fight a fellow.
-</p>
-<p>
-After a while he looked up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Are you fellows going to school this afternoon?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Ain't you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Go and get licked? I guess not!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'm going down to the river.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you going to do down at the river?&rdquo; Bony asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Going to look at it; what you think I'm going to do?&rdquo; said Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, looking at it wasn't a bad thing to do, because the river was away
-up, and when the Mississippi is up it is worth looking at. It looks twice
-as big and sort of rounded up in the middle, and all sorts of things
-floating down it&mdash;dead trees, and boxes, and logs, and dead pigs, and
-sometimes sheds and things. It generally gets up in June, and we always go
-down on Saturdays to see how she's getting along.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;She's higher than she ever was,&rdquo; said Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I guess she'll be mighty high by Saturday,&rdquo; said Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, she won't,&rdquo; said Swatty, &ldquo;because she's going to begin falling
-to-day, the paper says. Why don't you come along down with me?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, and get licked for staying out of school!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right for you fellows, then!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;I'll be mad at you for
-good. If you were going to get licked I'd just <i>want</i> to do something
-so I could get licked too. Don't I always stick by you fellows? And when
-I'm going to get licked you go back on me. You're 'fraid-cats.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who's a 'fraid-cat?&rdquo; I asked, for I don't let anybody call me that.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You are!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;And so's Bony. You're afraid to stay out of
-school one afternoon. You're afraid to stay out the day the river hits
-high-water mark. You'll look nice, won't you, with just you and Bony and a
-lot of girls in school!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who said we'd be the only kids there?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who said it? Why, I said it. You don't think any kids will go to school
-this afternoon, do you? Everybody will be down at the levee&mdash;men and
-everybody. If the river don't drop this afternoon she'll go over the
-island levee. And you sit around in school like it was a common day! Why,
-it's like&mdash;like election, or Fourth of July, or something like that!
-It's worse than when the ice goes out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I never knew a boy to get licked for staying out of school when the
-ice was going out of the river. He gets kept in the next day, or
-something, but nobody can blame a boy for wanting to see the ice go out,
-not even a teacher. So I guessed I'd go with Swatty, if I could sneak it.
-Bony didn't want to go much, but he didn't like both of us to call him a
-'fraid-cat, so he came. We climbed out of my barn window, because Swatty
-said we'd have to be careful; but I guess it wasn't much use, because if
-we had gone out of the back gate it would have done just as well, and if
-we had gone out of the front gate nobody would have thought anything but
-that we were going to school. We kept in the alley all the way down to
-Indian Creek, and Indian Creek was worth seeing, I tell you.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mostly there is nothing in it but a little bit of water twisting along in
-the wet sand, away down in the bottom of the creek bed, but now the creek
-was full right up to the top, and there were rowboats moored in it. We
-played in the rowboats a while, until a man came and chased us away, and
-then we went down along the creek to the river. I tell you, she was some
-river!
-</p>
-<p>
-She went rushing along, all big and muddy and foamy, and she was half
-covered with floating stuff&mdash;bark and whole haystacks and old trees
-and boards and boxes and things. It scared a fellow just to look at her.
-It made me feel the way a little baby feels when a big twelve-wheel mogul
-engine comes roaring up to the depot platform, only ten times as scary. It
-was like a whole ocean starting out to rush away somewhere. We just stood
-and looked at it, and pretty soon Swatty says, &ldquo;Gosh!&rdquo; Only he always says
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; And I said, &ldquo;Gee!&rdquo; That was all we said, and Bony didn't say
-anything. He just stepped backward three or four steps and looked
-frightened. That's the way you always feel when you see the old
-Mississippi on a rampage. You feel as if you ought to do something to stop
-it, and you know you can't&mdash;that nobody can. When it gets going it is
-going to keep right on. So we went down to the levee.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, there wasn't any levee! Our levee is just a long down-hill of sand,
-and it wasn't there. The river had backed clean up to the railroad tracks
-and was sploshing against the second rail of the outside track, and at the
-down-river end of the levee it had gone under the tracks and was all over
-Front Street at the corner. The ferry dock, that was usually away down at
-the bottom of the levee, was tied right up close to the railroad track,
-and the ferry was tied in behind the steamboat warehouse, so she wouldn't
-wash away. The water was clean up over the floor of the steamboat
-warehouse, too, and nothing looked the way it used to look. It was worth
-forty lickings just to see how different everything was. We just stood and
-looked and couldn't believe it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on,&rdquo; said Swatty, all at once, &ldquo;let's have some fun. Let's take off
-our shoes and stockings and have some fun.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We went across the street and asked a man if we could leave our shoes and
-stockings in his store, and he said we could, and then we went back and
-began to wade where the water wasn't very deep. There were a few other
-boys there, wading, and a lot of men standing around, looking at the
-water. Some would come down and look a while and then go away again, and
-all at once Swatty said, &ldquo;Garsh! What if our fathers came down here!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we got away from there, quick. We went down below the steamboat
-warehouse, where the ferryboat was tied, because nobody was apt to come
-down there, and nobody did. We played on the ferryboat a while and then we
-got off her, and Swatty saw where somebody had fastened a lot of logs and
-bridge timbers to the railway track. I guess they were stuff some men had
-gone out in skiffs to catch as they floated by, before the river got so
-rampageous. The way they fastened them was to drive a spike in one end and
-tie a rope to that, and then tie the other end to the railway track. So
-Swatty said, &ldquo;Come on! Let's have some fun with these logs and bridge
-timbers,&rdquo; or something like that; so we did. We walked on them, and some
-of them would sink under us, and then we would jump to another.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, there below the steamboat warehouse the water made an eddy, and the
-bark and foam and some sticks kept going around and around in the eddy,
-and pretty soon Swatty said: &ldquo;Let's ride on these logs,&rdquo; and that was all
-right, too, because we could sit straddle of a log or a bridge timber and
-paddle with our feet. So we did that. Swatty cut three of them loose, and
-we each took a bridge timber, because they didn't turn over like the logs
-did, and we paddled around in the eddy and played we were steamboats. I
-was the &ldquo;War Eagle,&rdquo; and Swatty was the &ldquo;Mary Morton,&rdquo; and Bony was the
-&ldquo;Centennial.&rdquo; We played that a long time and then we took boards for
-paddles, and we could go better that way so we played Indians in canoes,
-and I got on Swatty's timber and let mine go, which was all right because
-the timbers would just go around and around in the eddy. But Bony wouldn't
-get on with us, because he was afraid the timber would sink.
-</p>
-<p>
-It got along to about five o'clock, and Bony said we had better go home.
-He was always the first to want to go home. He told Swatty that Swatty
-would be late going for his cow if he didn't start right away, but Swatty
-said he didn't care if the old cow never got home. He said it wouldn't
-hurt the old cow to wait a while, anyway. So we started to paddle around
-the eddy again, and that time we got almost too far out, I guess, and the
-end of the timber stuck out beyond the eddy into the swift water.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Back her up! Quick!&rdquo; Swatty yelled, and we both tried to back her with
-our board paddles, but it was too late. The swift water caught her on the
-side and swung her right out into the current. Gee, but she went! Right
-away she was half a block away from Bony and I began to cry, for there was
-no telling where she'd stop. You couldn't expect her to stop this side of
-St. Louis or New Orleans. So I began to cry, and I stooped down and hung
-onto the timber with both arms. It was all I could think of to do. But
-Swatty let on he wasn't scared at all. He tried to paddle toward shore,
-but there was so v much driftwood and stuff floating that he couldn't do
-it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up! Don't be a cry-baby!&rdquo; he yelled at me. &ldquo;This ain't nothing.
-Grab your paddle, and we'll paddle out to the Tow Head and we'll be all
-right.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The Tow Head is the big island in the river below town, but more to this
-side of the river than to the other side. It is shaped like a horseshoe,
-with the two ends down-stream. Me and Swatty knew it pretty well because
-sometimes we used to row down there. It was all trees except a strip of
-sand on each side, and in low water there used to be a sandbar below it.
-It looked like a good idea to get to the Tow Head if we could; but I was
-afraid to sit up so I just stayed the way I was. But Swatty paddled like a
-good fellow. I guess the current helped him some. In low water there are
-two channels, one on each side of the Tow Head, but when the river is on a
-rampage it don't care anything about channels&mdash;it just goes. But it
-kind of bends below town and I guess that helped Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-He kept yelling at me not to be a 'fraid-cat and to paddle, but I didn't
-dare. So he paddled, and pretty soon I saw he was going to hit the Tow
-Head all right. That made me feel better and I kind of raised up on my
-hands and stopped crying, but when I looked I was scared worse than ever.
-It looked as if the Tow Head was coming up-stream like a big packet at
-full tilt. It didn't look as if we were floating down to it, but as if it
-was tearing up-stream toward us, and it was coming lickety-split. At its
-nose, where the water hit it, the river reared up in a big yellow wave,
-like the bow wave of a ship, and was cut into foam and spray where it hit
-the trees and then rushed away on either side like mad. So I saw Swatty
-had made a mistake in trying to land on the Tow Head.
-</p>
-<p>
-There wasn't really any Tow Head to land on. The river was way up in the
-branches of the trees, and I guess the water was ten feet deep all over
-the Tow Head, or deeper, and rushing through the trees like it was crazy.
-But we didn't have time to think much about it. We just had time to be
-scared, and to see the old Tow Head come rushing and foaming at us, and
-then it sort of nabbed us, like a cat nabs a mouse. It was all a big swosh
-of water noises and a big swosh of tree branches being slashed by the
-water, and then me and Swatty was splashed all over, and the bridge timber
-banged into two trees and stuck. Swatty went off the timber like a stone
-out of a nigger-shooter, but I hung on. I've got a black and blue spot
-inside my leg yet, where it hit the edge of the timber. Right away the
-water began to surge over the timber like a giant pushing against me, and
-I saw I couldn't hang on there very long, so I reached up and grabbed a
-branch of one of the trees and hoisted myself up and got up in the tree.
-And there was Swatty! He wasn't in my tree, but he was in the tree next
-below mine.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said, and that was all he said right then. So I began to cry.
-It would make anybody cry to be there, up in a tree, with the whole
-Mississippi River rushing along under him, so near he could stick his toes
-down into it. It's an awful thing to think about. You can sit in a tree
-and look at a creek run under you and you don't care, but when the
-Mississippi is on a tear it is different. It's the biggest and strongest
-thing in the world, and there was all of it rushing along right under us,
-and the tree sort of waving back and forth.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I cried.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;What are you crying about?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess we were in a pretty bad fix&mdash;worse than we thought we
-were. No boat there ever was could get at us where we were. No boat could
-come at that Tow Head the way we did and last a minute, because it would
-smash against the trees. And even if anybody knew where we were they
-couldn't get to us. Even if the strongest men in town tried to row a boat
-up-stream from below the Tow Head they couldn't get to us, because they
-couldn't row among the trees on it. So I cried.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo; Swatty yelled at me. &ldquo;Ain't it bad enough without you
-bellering?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So there we were.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Bony saw us go out into the river he sat on his timber with his mouth
-open, and he couldn't even holler&mdash;he was so scared&mdash;and then he
-just paddled for shore and jumped off his timber and ran. He didn't know
-where he was running&mdash;he was just running away from there. He was
-scared stiff. When he come to, he was halfway home, and blubbering and
-panting, and then he sat down on a horse block and didn't know what to do.
-He thought we were drowned, sure. So he thought the best thing to do would
-be to not say anything about it. He was afraid. First he thought he would
-go home and act as if he had been at school and just stayed out playing a
-while, and not do anything else about it and let folks find out anyway
-they could; and then he thought that Mrs. Schwartz would miss Swatty when
-it was time to fetch the cow, and that she would come over to his house to
-see if Swatty was there, and he didn't know what else. So he thought he
-would go over to Swatty's house first and sort of keep Mrs. Schwartz from
-doing anything like that. So he went. He forgot he was in his bare feet,
-or that he had ever had shoes and stockings.
-</p>
-<p>
-When he got to Swatty's house Mrs. Schwartz was on the front terrace in
-her calico dress and with a birch switch in her hand, looking for Swatty,
-because Swatty knew what time the cow ought to be fetched home. Bony went
-up to the steps.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Do you want me to fetch the cow home, Mrs. Schwartz?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What for should you fetch the cow home?&rdquo; said Mrs. Schwartz, as angry as
-could be.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I thought maybe Swatty was late, and I didn't want to keep you waiting,&rdquo;
- he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;For why should you think he was late?&rdquo; Mrs. Schwartz asked. She always
-talked in a funny way, because she was German.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I thought maybe he was playing down at the river,&rdquo; said Bony. &ldquo;Lots of
-boys were playing down there to-day.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;So!&rdquo; said Mrs. Schwartz. &ldquo;And he sends you home to get his cow, yes? He
-could get his own cows. I wait for him.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Bony didn't know what to say. He stood around. And after a while
-he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Maybe he won't come home to get the cows.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; asked Mrs. Schwartz. &ldquo;Maybe he's drowned,&rdquo; said Bony.
-&ldquo;Maybe him and Georgie went down to the river and&mdash;and&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then <i>he</i> began to cry, and the first thing anybody knew he had me
-and Swatty drowned and our bodies floating down to St. Louis or New
-Orleans, and Mrs. Schwartz wringing her hands and hollering for Herb. So
-Herb come out on the porch, and Bony told him me and Swatty had floated
-away on a bridge timber and got drowned, and Herb got Mr. Schwartz out of
-the house, and then he come over to my house to tell my father, and my
-father and mother and Fan and all the Schwartzes and a lot of neighbors
-all went running down to the levee, and took the Bony Highlander with them
-to show them where we had got drowned from. So that was why Bony didn't go
-home, and why he got licked when he did get home.
-</p>
-<p>
-By that time it wasn't dark but it was getting dark. Me and Swatty just
-hung onto our trees, and that was all we could do; but all our folks and
-most everybody in town got down to the levee, because Tim Mulligan at the
-waterworks pump-house blew the alarm whistle. The firemen all came, too,
-with their hose carts and ladder trucks, but most of the folks just went
-around saying it was too bad, but that it was hopeless. Even the mayor
-said it was hopeless. You see, nobody knew we were on Tow Head. They
-thought we were drowned in the river, like Bony said. So there wasn't
-anything to do, because it was too hopeless to do anything. The only thing
-to do was to wait until the river fell, in a couple of weeks or so, and
-then maybe they'd find what was left of me and Swatty down-river, where
-we'd be washed up, if we ever was.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was what everybody thought. My mother cried, and Mrs. Schwartz
-cried, and I guess most of the women cried, and the men looked mighty
-sober, and said what a pity it was so hopeless; but what could they do?
-Everybody was sober or crying, I guess, except Fan, and I guess she'd been
-so mad at Herb she just couldn't be anything but mad. She was so full of
-mad that it had to come out, so while everybody was crying and all she
-just flew up in the air and went over and gave Herb a good raking.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well!&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;And you call yourself a man! Do you mean to stand
-around here like a bump on a log and do nothing?&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I'm glad I
-found out in time what a helpless ninny you are,&rdquo; or something like that.
-She gave it to him good, I tell you! &ldquo;This trash,&rdquo; she says&mdash;meaning
-the mayor and the firemen and the city council and everybody&mdash;&ldquo;I
-don't expect anything else from, but I once thought you had some gump.&rdquo; Or
-something like that. So Herb got red.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; he says, like a man ready to jump off the high school roof,
-&ldquo;if you say so, I'll take a skiff and go out upon the river. You can't
-call me a 'fraid-cat, Fan. You'll never call me that.&rdquo; Or something like
-that, he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Skiff indeed!&rdquo; says Fan. &ldquo;You'd have a nice picnic with a skiff, wouldn't
-you? Have some sense, Herbert Schwartz. What good is that ferryboat doing,
-tied up here?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, that was what they done. At first Captain Hewitt didn't want to take
-the ferryboat out. He said it was hopeless, and that she was an old rotten
-hull, and that a log would go through her like a needle, and she'd sink,
-and she couldn't make headway up-stream against such a flood, and a lot
-more, but with all the folks in town there he couldn't keep that up long;
-so he went aboard and fired up, and sent up-town for Jerry Mason, who was
-the regular fireman. By that time it was dark enough for anybody, so Mr.
-Higgins, the steamboat agent, went and got the two flambeaux he uses when
-steamboats unload at night, and everybody that had a porch lantern with a
-reflector got that, and they put them all on the ferryboat. Flambeaux are
-big iron baskets on iron poles, and the poles are pointed at the bottom so
-they can be jabbed into the ground or a floor or anything. You fill the
-baskets with tar and wood and light them. So when that was all ready most
-of the firemen got aboard with their hooks, off the hook and ladder
-trucks, and a lot of other men got aboard with pike poles and grapple
-hooks, and Herb went up in the pilot house with Captain Hewitt, and they
-set out to find our bodies.
-</p>
-<p>
-But me and Swatty wasn't bodies yet, we was still folks. We were feeling a
-little bit better, too, because Swatty found out that the tree he was in
-was a slippery elm tree, and he peeled off some slippery elm bark and
-chewed it, and he tossed some over to me, and I chewed that. So we
-wondered how long a fellow could live on slippery elm bark, and if Swatty
-would have the tree peeled clean before the river went down. If he did
-we'd starve to death; but Swatty said that, as the water went down, more
-and more of the tree trunk would be above water and we could peel it and
-eat it. So we both felt better, only there was a dead something had caught
-in the tree branches and when the wind changed it didn't smell very good.
-It smelled worse than that, even. So about then we began to see the lights
-come out on shore, and pretty soon we saw the big, smoky light the
-flambeaux made. We thought it was a bonfire on shore up at town.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess we'd have been bodies before anybody got to us, anyway, if
-we hadn't had some bad luck. Me and Swatty was there in our trees chewing
-away at slippery elm when all at once something big and black come
-slamming down onto the point of the Tow Head. It looked like a house, but
-I guess it was only a cow shed or something like that, that had got
-floated off the river bottoms by the flood. It came all of a sudden, and
-before we knew what had happened it hit the Tow Head point and banged into
-the tree I was on, and the water began to rush over it, and then all at
-once the tree I was on began to give. It began to topple. It went slow at
-first and then it went quicker, and it fell over against the tree Swatty
-was in, and the shed came bumping after it, and then Swatty's tree keeled
-over, too, and me and Swatty went down under, and the shed come grating
-over us&mdash;right over our heads and pushing our trees down into the
-water.
-</p>
-<p>
-All I ever knew was that the next thing I knew I was slammed up against
-the side of the shed by the water and pushed against it like a big hand
-was pushing me, and I was fighting to get more out of the water, and then
-the shed sort of melted and went to pieces and I was holding onto a board
-and going down with the current between the trees of the Tow Head.
-Sometimes the board hit a tree, and sometimes it didn't, but I thought I
-was all over with, anyway, and then right ahead of me I saw the water
-rushing and roaring up against something.
-</p>
-<p>
-I didn't know what it was, but it was a log raft the mill folks had put in
-behind the Tow Head so it wouldn't get washed away. It was in the inside
-of the horseshoe, and all across the front of it was driftwood and trash
-and old boards and everything, and that was what the water was splashing
-against, and before I knew it I was slammed up against it&mdash;me and my
-board. And what I slammed up against was the bridge timber I had been on
-before, or one like it. If I had slammed up against where it was just bark
-and driftwood I would have clawed at it a while and then gone under, I
-guess; but I crawled onto the timber and just lay there and tried to get
-the water out of my nose. It looked like half a mile of driftwood was
-jammed in between me and the log raft&mdash;jammed in and pushed together
-the way a flood can jam it and push it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that timber wasn't any place to be. The water rushed against it and
-over it, so I was getting ducked all the time, and I put out my hand and
-tried the drift stuff, but it didn't seem like it would hold me up, but
-there was one board that was on top of the stuff, and I tried that. I slid
-over onto it and it seemed all right, so I edged along it, and when I got
-to the end of the board the drift stuff seemed firmer and I got on my
-stomach and edged out onto it. It was firm enough, but not very firm, but
-on my stomach that way I covered a good deal of it at a time, and I sort
-of wiggled along, and the more I wiggled the firmer it got. It had to,
-with all the river pushing it, and the driftwood back of it pushing too.
-</p>
-<p>
-So it took me about an hour to get to the log raft, and when I got to the
-edge logs, that are chained together, I was all scratched and sore and I
-just sat down and cried, because I knew Swatty was dead.
-</p>
-<p>
-And all at once he said, &ldquo;Hello, Georgie!&rdquo; and there he was, crawling
-along the logs toward me. He said he went under when the tree fell over,
-and that he went under all the driftwood and come up through a hole in the
-raft. Maybe he did. There were holes enough in the raft. But I didn't get
-there that way.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anyway, there he was, and that made me feel a lot better, and we crawled
-around the edge of the raft, because we wanted to get to the lower side.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty said maybe we could push a log under the outside chain of logs and
-paddle to shore on it, but I wasn't going to do it. Only I wanted to see
-him do it if he did it. So we got to the lower edge of the raft, where it
-stuck out below the Tow Head, and just then along came the ferryboat. She
-was back-paddling and going as slow as she could, and she looked like an
-excursion with all the porch lamps and the flambeaux. So me and Swatty
-hollered, but I guess they saw us before we hollered. Everybody came over
-on our side and that tipped the ferry over a little, and a lot of the men
-threw ropes at us and held out their pike poles, and me and Swatty grabbed
-them and they yanked us aboard. So then she whistled five times and waited
-and whistled five times again, and so on, because that was the signal they
-was to make if they found our bodies, and they had found them, but they
-were alive yet. So then Herb made the captain whistle long and steady
-without stopping, so maybe they'd know we were alive yet. But nobody knew
-it, because nobody thought we would be.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the old ferry let out so much steam whistling she couldn't go
-up-stream. I guess she couldn't anyway. So they ran her into the shore
-just where she was and tied her to a big tree, and when we got to the road
-there was Mother and Father and Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz in a livery rig,
-because they had followed the boat all the way down. And Fan was in the
-rig, too. So they all pawed me and Swatty over and saw how bad we was
-scratched and all, and said we was suffering from exhaustion, but we
-wasn't. We was only played out.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Herbert said, &ldquo;All right!&rdquo; and started to go away, and Fan said,
-&ldquo;Herbert!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I want you to ride up-town with us,&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I'll go back and help Captain Hewitt get the boat in
-shape. I guess I've done enough to show you I 've some gump.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;But I <i>want</i> you to come,&rdquo; Fan says. &ldquo;I want to talk to you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he came. Him and Fan sat on the front seat and drove and talked, and I
-guess their talk was all right, because they fixed everything up. And that
-was where Miss Murphy got left. Just because she wanted to lick Swatty she
-lost her beau. That's why I say I guess if teachers always knew how their
-lickings were going to turn out they wouldn't lick us fellows so much. Not
-when the fellow is the brother of their beau, anyway.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-II. MAMIE'S FATHER
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span> guess this is a good time to tell about Mamie Little, because now you
-know who me and Swatty and Bony are. Mamie Little was my girl, only she
-didn't know it. Nobody knew it but me. It was a secret I had. That's the
-way a fellow has a girl at first: she's a secret and she don't know she's
-his girl. Sometimes she don't never get to know it and the fellow has to
-get another girl. But while he &ldquo;has&rdquo; her the fellow knows it, and it makes
-him feel bashful and uncomfortable and frightened when she is near by and
-it is pretty bully.
-</p>
-<p>
-The reason I picked out Mamie Little for my girl was because she had the
-nicest eyes and nicest hair of any girl I ever saw and the way she swished
-her dress when she walked. She lived across the street from my house and
-mostly played with my sister Lucy. So when I played with Lucy I could play
-with Mamie Little, too, and nobody would think it was because she was my
-girl. They would think I was just playing with my sister.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mamie Little had been my girl a good while like that, with nobody knowing
-it but me, and I guessed that pretty soon it would be time for me to fight
-Swatty or somebody about her and have her for my real girl, if she didn't
-mind; but just then Toady Williams came to town and he picked out Mamie
-Little to be his girl and didn't care who knew it. And Mamie Little didn't
-care who knew it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Toady was a new kid in town, because his father had come to Riverbank to
-start a store. We never said Toady could be one of our crowd and we never
-wanted him to be, but he just joined on because he felt like it. That's
-the kind of boy he was. He thought anybody would be tickled to death to
-have him be around with them. He wasn't a fat boy, but he was a plump one,
-and his breeches always fit him so close they were like the skin on a
-horse; when he wrinkled they wrinkled. He wore shoes in summer. He looked
-all the time like company come to visit, and I guess that was one reason
-we didn't care for him much.
-</p>
-<p>
-The reason we called him Toady was because of his eyes. They popped out
-like a frog's eyes, sort of like brown marbles, and the more he talked the
-more they popped out. When he talked he couldn't do anything else but
-talk. Swatty could lie on his stomach and chew an apple and play
-mumblety-peg and kick a hole in the sod with one toe and talk, all at one
-time, but Toady couldn't. He had to sit up straight and pop his eyes out.
-When he got started talking you could cut in and say, &ldquo;Was your
-grandmother a monkey?&rdquo; and he'd say, &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; as if he hadn't heard, and go
-right on talking. He wouldn't fight, like me and Swatty, and sometimes
-Bony, would. If you thought it was time to have a fight with him and
-pitched into him he would bend down and turn his back and let you mailer
-him until you got through. But, mostly, he would talk somehow so you
-wouldn't want to fight him. That's no way for a boy to talk. It's the way
-girls talk. Or preachers.
-</p>
-<p>
-Toady didn't get Mamie Little for his girl the right way. He never said
-she <i>wasn't</i> his girl, he just said she <i>was</i>. The right way is
-that when the other fellows find out he has a girl they holler at him:
-&ldquo;Mamie Little is Georgie's girl! Mamie Little is Georgie's girl!&rdquo; And he
-has to get mad and fight them about it to prove it's a lie, but after he
-has fought enough to prove she isn't his girl, why, then she is his girl
-and he can have her for his girl and nobody hollers it at him. So then she
-is the one he chooses to kiss when they play &ldquo;Post-Office&rdquo; or &ldquo;Copenhagen&rdquo;
- at parties, and if he's got anything to give her he gives it to her, like
-snail shells or a better slate pencil than she has, and such things. So
-it's pretty nice, and you feel pretty good about it and are glad she's
-your girl.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, a short while before Toady Williams came to our town they had an
-election to see whether the state was to be prohibition or not, and all
-the school children whose fathers were prohibition paraded; so Mamie
-Little paraded because her father had the prohibition newspaper in
-Riverbank, and I paraded because Mamie did and my father didn't care
-whether there was prohibition or not. Swatty didn't parade because his
-father was a German tailor, and when he felt like a glass of beer he
-wanted to have it, and every fall Swatty's mother made grape wine out of
-wild grapes that me and Swatty got from the vines in the bottom across the
-Mississippi. When they had the election, prohibition was elected all over
-the state, but not in Riverbank; but we had to have it in Riverbank
-because the state elected it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Of course I was prohibition, because I had paraded and because Mamie
-Little was, but Swatty was antiprohibition. I didn't say a thing to make
-Swatty mad; all I said was: &ldquo;Huh! You thought you was so smart, didn't
-you? You thought prohibition was going to get licked, but it was you got
-licked. Next time you won't be so smart. I guess you and your father feel
-pretty sick about it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Don't you say anything about my father!&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll say he was licked, because he was licked,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Swatty pulled off his coat and I pulled off mine, and we had a good
-fight. He licked me because he always did; and when he was sitting on my
-ribs and had his knees on my arms so I couldn't do anything, he asked me
-if I had had enough, and I said I had. Because I had had.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess I showed you how much the prohibitions can lick the
-anti-prohibitions!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Let me up,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Are you prohibition?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-I said, &ldquo;Yes, I am.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right!&rdquo; he said, and he put his hand on my nose and pushed. He pushed
-my nose right into my face. I never had anything hurt like that did. I
-yelled, it hurt so much. I told him to stop.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if I stop what are you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I knew what he meant. He had already got me from being a Republican to
-being a Democrat that way once before. I wasn't thinking of Mamie Little;
-I was thinking of my nose. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm an anti-prohibition. Now let me up. You 've busted my nose and some
-of my ribs, and I want to put some plantain on my eye before it swells
-up.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We felt of my ribs and couldn't find that any seemed busted, and my nose
-stopped hurting and came back into shape, so me and Swatty were better
-friends than we had ever been, because we were now both anti-prohibitions.
-We went around and made a lot of prohibitions into anti-prohibitions
-because Swatty showed me how to push a nose the way he pushed mine. But it
-didn't do much good, I guess. The election was over and, anyway, there
-were always more anti-prohibitions in Riverbank than there were
-prohibitions.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was almost right away after that that me and Swatty and Bony met Mamie
-Little and Lucy one Saturday afternoon. Lucy is my sister, and they were
-going down-town. Me and Swatty and Bony were sitting on the curb telling
-whoppers; or I guess Swatty and Bony were, I was just telling some things
-that had happened to me sometime that I'd forgot until I happened to think
-them up just then.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty was telling how he went up to Derlingport and his uncle introduced
-him to the man that had the government job of making up new swear words,
-when Mamie and Lucy came along. I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where are you going?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Down-town,&rdquo; Lucy said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Did Mother give you a nickel?&rdquo; I asked, and I was sort of mad, because
-Mother owed me a nickel and hadn't paid me, because she said she didn't
-have one, and if she gave one to Lucy, why, all right for Mother!
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, she didn't give me a nickel, Mr. Smarty!&rdquo; Lucy said. &ldquo;If you want to
-know so much, we're going down to Mr. Schwartz's shop to see if he'll let
-Mamie have a father.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess that would sound pretty funny if you didn't know what she meant.
-It was paper dolls.
-</p>
-<p>
-Girls always play paper dolls, I guess; so Mamie and Lucy and all the
-girls played them; they got them out of the colored fashion plates in the
-magazines&mdash;brides and mothers and sons and daughters.
-</p>
-<p>
-The trouble was that a good family has to have anyway one father in it,
-and the magazines didn't have colored fashion plates of fathers. They
-didn't have any fathers at all.
-</p>
-<p>
-Some of the girls drew fathers on paper and painted them, but they looked
-pretty sick. I guess all the girls were jealous of Lucy because she was
-kind of Swatty's girl, and Swatty sort of borrowed an old colored tailor
-fashion plate out of his father's store and gave it to Lucy. So Lucy had
-the only real fathers that any of the girls had. She gave Mamie a couple
-of fathers out of the fashion plate, but they were the ones that had been
-standing partly behind other fathers and had mostly only one leg, or
-pieces cut out of their sides or something. They didn't make Mamie real
-happy, I guess, so she thought she'd try to get some good fathers. They
-were going down to ask Mr. Schwartz for a fashion plate.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty was frightened right away, because he hadn't asked his father if he
-could have the old fashion plate but had just sort of borrowed it. So he
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you going to ask my father?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm going to tell him he gave you one for me,&rdquo; Lucy said, &ldquo;and I'm going
-to ask him if he'll give me one for Mamie.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty was scared.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, don't do it!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I will, too, do it!&rdquo; Lucy answered back. &ldquo;I guess I know your father, and
-I guess my father buys clothes of him, and I guess we take milk of your
-mother, and I guess I will, too, ask him if I want to!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty couldn't answer back because he had Lucy for his secret girl
-like I had Mamie Little.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I got up and stood in front of Lucy and pushed her a little, because
-she wasn't my girl but only my sister, and I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You will not do it. You go home!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You stop pushing me! I won't go home.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, you will, when I say so!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was going to tell her that as soon as there were any more old fashion
-plates at Swatty's father's, Swatty would swi&mdash;would get one for
-Mamie, but Lucy got mad because I just took hold of her arm too hard
-between my thumb and finger. She said I pinched her, but I did not; I just
-sort of took hold of her that way. She ran back a way and stuck out her
-tongue at me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now, just for that, Mr. Smarty,&rdquo; she yelled, &ldquo;I'm going to tell Mamie on
-you!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You just dare!&rdquo; I started for her, but she skipped off.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mamie,&rdquo; she shouted, &ldquo;you'll be mad when I tell you! Georgie Porgie is an
-anti-prohibition!&rdquo; Mamie just stood and looked at me, because I'd said I'd
-always be a prohibition.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Are you?&rdquo; she asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-If Swatty hadn't been right there I would have changed back to a
-prohibition again and it would have been all right, but he was there and I
-wasn't going to have him think I would change just on account of a girl.
-So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Uh, huh!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right for you, Mr. Georgie! You needn't ever speak to me again as
-long as you live!&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-I felt pretty cheap. I tried to say something, and I couldn't think of
-anything to say, so I made a face at her and she made one at me, and then
-we were mad at each other and she went away. She went toward down-town,
-and Lucy skipped across the street and ran and went with her. And that was
-one reason Mamie was glad that Toady Williams had her for his girl when he
-came to town. She guessed I did not like it. And I didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mr. Schwartz said Mamie could have the fashion plate as soon as he was
-through with it, which would be at the end of the season when he got a new
-one. Lucy let me know that, all right! I guess it was on account of Lucy
-he promised to let Mamie have the fashion plate, because he was awful fond
-of Lucy.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anyway, Mamie was mighty pleased to know she was going to have a good
-father.
-</p>
-<p>
-When she played paper dolls with Lucy I used to sort of go over where they
-were and maybe stand there to see if Mamie was mad at me still. About all
-she said was how glad she'd be when she had a good father. I guess I heard
-her say it a hundred times, but she never let on she knew I was there at
-all. Sometimes I'd sort of drop an apple or something so it would fall
-where she could reach it, but she never paid any attention. The most she
-would do would be to pick up a one-legged father and say:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;'Where are you going, Mr. Reginald de Vere?' 'I'm going down-town to vote
-a while if you do not need me to take care of the baby.' 'Not at all, but
-I do hope you will show folks you are a prohibition. If I ever heard you
-were an anti-prohibition I would cut you up into mincemeat.'&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then I most generally went away.
-</p>
-<p>
-I got kind of sick of girls. I made up my mind they were no good anyway,
-and that I'd never have another one if I lived to be a million years old,
-and when I wrote notes to Mamie in school it wasn't any use because she
-always tore them up without reading them. It made me feel awful to have
-her so mean. Because she wasn't mean to Toady.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, it came to examination time and we began to be examined. Swatty and
-Bony and I didn't have to be examined in arithmetic until Thursday
-afternoon and neither did Lucy or Mamie, so Swatty and Bony and I thought
-we might as well go fishing that morning. We got our poles and some bait
-and started, and we went down Third Street and when we came to the railway
-track we cut across through Burman's lumber yard toward the river because
-that was the quickest way.
-</p>
-<p>
-Burman's sawmill was the biggest one in Riverbank then. I guess you know
-how big those sawmills were. Great big red buildings with gravel roofs
-where they sawed the logs that came down the river in rafts, and where
-they made shingles, and the row of sheds where they dried the lumber with
-steam, and another big one where the planers were. There were hundreds and
-hundreds of piles of lumber, each one as tall as a house, and all the
-ground was made of sawdust and rattlings, because it was filled ground.
-</p>
-<p>
-There were railway sidings here, and there were flat cars and box cars
-being loaded.
-</p>
-<p>
-Burman's sawmill and lumber yards were just under the bluff. Once there
-had been a brickyard there, and the bluff was cut down steep where they
-had dug clay. Across the street there was still a brickyard, with hundreds
-and hundreds of cords of wood, ready to be used to burn brick, and with
-the kilns loosely roofed over. Back toward the town was a sash and door
-factory, a pretty big building, and then some houses, and then the stores
-began. About the fifth store on one side was Swatty's father's tailor
-shop. It was a building all by itself, and it was one story high and
-frame, and it had a false front above the first story, with Swatty's
-father's name on it, and there was one window on the street.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty and Bony and me went through the lumber yard to the place
-where Burman's oil shed was.
-</p>
-<p>
-The oil shed was right up against the bluff, almost at the railway, and it
-was up on stakes, so that it was safer. It was about as big as a kitchen,
-and was painted red and the floor and part of the and part of the stakes
-were soaked with oil, and the grass underneath was withered and oily
-because the oil had dripped and killed it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Just as we got there we saw Slim Finnegan, who was in our class at school
-but ever so much older than we were, and he was under the oil shed smoking
-a corncob pipe. His coat was on the grass beside him, and just as we got
-there he jumped up and began slamming at the grass with his coat, for the
-grass was afire. Before we could guess what happened, the flames seemed to
-run up the stakes like live animals, and all at once the whole bottom of
-the floor of the oil shed was afire.
-</p>
-<p>
-Slim Finnegan gave one look at it, and tucked his coat under his arm and
-ran. There were piles and piles of lumber right there and he jumped in
-among them, and I guess he hid. We didn't see him any more.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty ran for the sawmill. He shouted to the first man he saw before he
-was halfway to the sawmill, and the man hollered &ldquo;Fire!&rdquo; and ran for a
-hose wagon they had under a shed and began jerking it out, and Swatty ran
-on, shouting &ldquo;Fire!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-It wasn't a second before all the men began piling out of the sawmill and
-came running from the lumber yards, and the mill whistle began blowing as
-hard as it could. It almost made you deaf when you were that close. Right
-away the whole place seemed to fill up with men, and they all had axes or
-hooks or whatever they ought to have had.
-</p>
-<p>
-The mill whistle kept blowing without stopping, and in a minute the
-whistle on the sash and door factory joined in, and then the regular fire
-whistle on the waterworks started up. The oil house was just one big red
-flame that went up in the air and turned into the blackest kind of smoke.
-We saw the men with the mill's hose trying to throw water on the oil
-house, and every one was shouting at the tops of their voices. We saw men
-on top of the nearest lumber piles, but almost as soon as we saw them we
-saw them dodge away and climb down as quick as they could, and the next
-minute those lumber piles were afire on one side. They were red flames,
-and they climbed right up the sides of the piles and waved at the top.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing down the railway track as the fire got
-too hot for us. There were hundreds of people, but there were more than
-that in other parts of the neighborhood. Almost everybody in town came to
-the fire, because by this time dozens of lumber piles were afire, and the
-sawmill had set fire to the dry-sheds and the planer. You couldn't see the
-bluff at all, because there was just one big wall of flame in front of it.
-Whole boards went sailing right up into the air, burning as they went, and
-the blue smoke that blew over the town was full of pine cinders and
-burning pieces of wood. There never was such a fire in Riverbank. The
-ground seemed to burn, too, and it did, because it was sawdust and
-rattlings.
-</p>
-<p>
-The brickyard burned&mdash;everything that could burn&mdash;and the bluff
-of yellow clay, there and beside the sawmill, was burned red, like brick&mdash;and
-the flat cars and the box cars all burned. It was an awful fire! Wet
-lumber in the newest piles burned as if it was dry. The railway bridge and
-two other bridges burned. At noon it was like evening, because the smoke
-hid the sun.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing away as the fire came toward us.
-Sometimes we would turn, and run. We backed away as far as ten city blocks
-would be, I guess, before we were where we did not have to back away any
-more. We forgot all about school, and about fishing, and about everything.
-It was the kind of fire where nobody thinks of going home until it is all
-over.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was about two o'clock when the people in front and the firemen in front
-of them gave a sort of roar, as if they were a lot of animals, and
-everybody crowded back. The firemen on top of the sash and door factory
-ran from one edge of the roof to the other, looking down. Two of them
-jumped off. They were killed, but the others got down the ladders, and the
-next minute the factory and its oil house were all afire at once&mdash;just
-sort of spouted fire from all the windows as if the fire had been all
-fixed to break out that way.
-</p>
-<p>
-Before you could turn around and then look back, the sash and door factory
-was one big, hot flame, and then the houses began to go. First one and
-then another caught fire.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got crowded back until we were in the street right opposite to Swatty's
-father's tailor shop, and Swatty's father was on the front step of it
-shaking his hands in the air and shouting like a crazy man, but nobody
-paid any attention to him. He was a little man and he had gray hair, but
-he was mostly bald. He didn't have a hat on and he looked pretty crazy
-standing there and shouting.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we didn't know until afterward what he was shouting about, but I
-know now, so I might as well tell it. There was a cellar under his shop
-and it was full of barrels of whiskey. When prohibition was elected the
-saloons thought they would have to stop for a while and that then they
-could go ahead again, so they hunted for some place to hide the whiskey
-they owned, where it would be safe for a while, and Mr. Schwartz's cellar
-was one of the places they hid it in. What Swatty's father was trying to
-shout was that if his shop caught fire all the whiskey in the cellar might
-explode and the people standing around might be killed and the whole town
-burn up. I don't wonder he was sort of crazy about it. I guess Swatty felt
-sort of ashamed that his father was acting so crazy.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then the house next to Swatty's father's shop caught fire, and the next
-minute the side of Swatty's father's shop began to smoke.
-</p>
-<p>
-The policemen were sort of crowding us back all the time, but we would n't
-go back much, and all at once Mamie Little started out of the crowd and
-began to run toward Swatty's father's shop. But when she was halfway there
-the fire marshal just caught her by the arm and gave her a sort of twist
-and slung her back, and then the policeman nearest us caught her and
-jammed her back against me and Swatty. She was crying all the time; she
-kept moaning, &ldquo;My father! My father!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So just then Swatty's father ran out and grabbed the fire marshal by the
-arm and talked to him in German, because they were both German, and the
-fire marshal ran toward his firemen and shouted through his trumpet, and
-all the firemen up the street came running back, dragging all their hose
-and all shouting.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was all wild and sort of crazy, and suddenly the fire marshal ran back
-to where the firemen were tugging at the heavy hose and shouting, and four
-firemen who were holding on to a nozzle pointed the stream into the air.
-It was worse than any rain you ever saw. It was just &ldquo;whoosh!&rdquo; and we were
-all soaked. So all the crowd hollered and screamed, and we all turned and
-ran, and all I knew was that I had hold of Mamie Little's hand and was
-helping her run. I was awful sorry for her because she was crying and her
-father was going to burn.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Swatty said: &ldquo;What's she crying for? Why don't she shut up?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He meant Mamie Little. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;She can cry if she wants to! I'd like to see you try to stop her! She's
-crying because your father gave her his fashion plate and it's going to be
-burned up, and if you say much I'll lick you!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Swatty said: &ldquo;If that's all she's crying for, come on. We'll get her
-old fashion plate for her.&rdquo; So I said to Mamie Little: &ldquo;Stop being a baby
-and shut up, and we'll get your old fashion plate for you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Swatty just cut in through the crowd, and me and Bony followed after him.
-He went up the side street, and we climbed over the fence into the yard of
-the corner house and cut across that yard and over another fence. That way
-we got to the back of Swatty's father's shop without any one stopping us.
-Bony kind of kept behind us.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was mighty hot, because the house next door was all afire, but the
-firemen were keeping all their hose on the side of Swatty's father's shop,
-trying to keep it from burning. We crouched down and kept our backs to the
-fire so the heat wouldn't shrivel us, and we got to the back door and it
-wasn't locked. We went in. It was hot&mdash;like an oven&mdash;inside, and
-the noise of all the water on the side of the house was like thunder, only
-louder. The inside of the shop was like under a waterfall. You wouldn't
-think anything so wet could burn, but it did. Before we were halfway to
-the front window the fire began to eat into the shop along the floor. The
-water on that side just turned to steam and dried as fast as it ran down.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony began to cry, but we hadn't any time to stop. Swatty took him <i>by</i>
-the hand and jerked him along, and we got to the window and I grabbed the
-fashion plate. Then we couldn't go back because the shop was mostly afire
-and we would have been burned up. So then Bony got real scared and ran to
-the front door and threw it open, and a stream from a hose caught him and
-sent him head over heels back into the shop where it was burning; he was
-knocked unconscious because his head hit a table leg.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I didn't know what to do. I guess I began to cry. I crouched down in
-the window because I couldn't get out at the door on account of the stream
-of water that was coming in there a hundred miles a minute, and I couldn't
-go back because the back of the shop was all afire now. But Swatty crawled
-on his hands and knees under the table where Bony was, where the fire was
-beginning to burn harder, and he grabbed Bony and yanked him along the
-floor back to the window. I guess I helped him jerk Bony onto the window
-shelf, but just then another stream of water busted the window in. The
-glass fell all around us and one piece cut Swatty on the hand, but he only
-said, &ldquo;Jump! Jump!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Maybe we would have jumped, but we didn't. The firemen had got to the back
-of the building and had turned the hose in at the back window, and just
-when Swatty said, &ldquo;Jump!&rdquo; the stream of water hit us like a board. It took
-us as if we were pieces of paper and slammed us out of the broken window
-and halfway across the street, and threw us head over heels in the mud,
-and the fashion plate, with Mamie Little's father, came flying with us.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>
-</p>
-<div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
-<img alt="66 (88K)" src="images/66.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
-</div>
-<p>
-So I crawled over to where the fashion plate was and took hold of it and
-began to drag it to where Mamie Little was. A policeman came and took me
-by the shoulder and lifted me up, but I couldn't stand, and that was the
-first I knew my ankle was sprained. But Swatty got up himself and sassed
-the policeman that came to get him. He told him he had a right to go into
-his father's own shop if he wanted to, and that if the policeman said much
-more he would go back again.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess the whiskey exploded all right. Three more houses burned before
-they stopped the fire, but we didn't see that because Bony ran all the way
-home, and somebody carried me to a wagon, and drove home with me, and
-Swatty's father got him and took him up the main street and waled him on
-the hotel corner with a half-burned shingle that had blown from the lumber
-fire.
-</p>
-<p>
-The next day my ankle hurt pretty bad and I stayed in bed with linament on
-it and after school Lucy came up to see me. &ldquo;Come on up in my room and
-play,&rdquo; I told her.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I don't want to. I want to go down and play with Mamie
-Little; we're playing paper dolls. We're having lots of fun.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ho!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Paper dolls! They're no fun.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;They are, too,&rdquo; Lucy said. &ldquo;And we've got to cut out Mamie's fathers.
-She's got a whole fashion plate full.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where'd she get them?&rdquo; I asked, because I guessed right away what fashion
-plate it was.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, Toady Williams gave them to her,&rdquo; Lucy said. &ldquo;He got them out of the
-fire or somewhere and gave them to her. He's helping us cut them out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Gee! I felt sore!
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-III. THE &ldquo;DIVORCE&rdquo;
- </h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>fter I got out of bed and went back to school I fought Toady Williams a
-couple of times, but it wasn't much good because he wouldn't fight back.
-All the good it did was to make Mamie Little tell Lucy I was a mean, bad
-boy and that she would never speak to me again as long as she lived. Once
-I almost told her that it was me that got the father fashion plate out of
-the fire and that Toady Williams didn't do anything but pick it up out of
-the mud after I had got it for her, but I didn't tell her because then she
-would have thought I was sweet on her. That <i>would</i> have made me feel
-cheap.
-</p>
-<p>
-It made me feel pretty mean, just the same, to see the way Toady Williams
-was playing with her all the time, when I had picked her out to be my
-secret girl. He gave her pencils and apples and everything and I guess she
-liked it. I wished I was grown up, so I could ride up on a bucking bronco
-and sling a lasso over Toady's head and jerk him into the dust. Then Mamie
-Little would say, &ldquo;Hello, Georgie! Can I get up and ride behind you over
-the wild plains, because I don't want to have anything more to do with a
-'fraidy-cat like Toady.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But it didn't seem as if anything like that was going to happen. Not for
-years, anyway.
-</p>
-<p>
-One day Swatty came over to my yard and he said, &ldquo;Say!&rdquo; so I said, &ldquo;Say
-what?&rdquo; and he said, &ldquo;Say, you know Herb's tricycle?&rdquo; and I said I did.
-Herb was Swatty's brother that wanted to marry my sister Fan and he had
-got the tricycle a couple of years ago, when all the bicycles were
-high-wheel bicycles. He had got it for him and Fan to ride on, and it was
-a two-seat one&mdash;side-by-side seats&mdash;and after a few times Fan
-wouldn't ride on it because it made her as conspicuous as a pig on a
-flagpole. So Herb rode on it alone some, and with some other fellow some,
-but mostly he kept it chained up in Swatty's barn and said he would scalp
-Swatty and skin him alive if Swatty ever touched it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So this day Swatty came over and he said, &ldquo;What do you think!&rdquo; because
-Herb said when he was married to Fan, Swatty could have the tricycle. You
-bet Swatty was tickled. So I asked him who would ride on it with him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well&mdash;you will,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And Bony. That's when I ain't taking
-somebody else.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He didn't say who else, but I knew, because I knew Swatty was having my
-sister Lucy for his secret girl.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And part of the time,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I can have it alone, can't I, Swatty?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It's my tricycle&mdash;&rdquo; he started to say.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It ain't yet,&rdquo; I told him, &ldquo;and I guess if I go to work good and plenty
-it never will be, because if I want to I can think up how to make Fan mad
-at Herb again and then you wouldn't get it. And, anyway, if Lucy went to
-ride on it she might fall off and get hurt, so I guess I'd tell my mother
-not to let Lucy ride on it. Unless I could take it sometimes and find out
-that it was safe.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Because I guessed that if Mamie Little had a chance to ride on that
-tricycle with me she'd be pretty sick of that fat, old Toady Williams
-mighty quick. So me and Swatty fixed it up that way, that I was to have
-the tricycle part of the time and he was to have it part of the time. The
-only thing was to get Herb and Fan married off as soon as we could, and to
-look out that nothing turned up to scare them away from each other again
-like that Miss Murphy fuss did. It wasn't going to take much to scare Herb
-away. I knew that.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess grown folks don't care whether they have a divorce or not,
-because they are always having them and so maybe they get used to having
-them and don't think much about it and are not ashamed to have them, but I
-guess a kid is always kind of ashamed when his folks get them. We never
-had one in our family but we had babies and I guess a kid feels about the
-same way when there is a divorce in his family as he does when there is a
-baby. It makes him feel pretty sick and ashamed and miserable. It ain't
-his fault but he feels like it was. He goes out the back gate and sneaks
-to school through the alley and when a kid sees him the kid says: &ldquo;Ho! you
-had a baby at your house,&rdquo; and the kid that had the baby come to his house
-wishes he could sneak into a crack in the sidewalk or die or something.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess that's the way it is when you have a divorce at your house. It
-ain't your fault but you feel like it was and you don't have any of the
-fun of fighting and getting the divorce, like your folks do; you just have
-the feel-miserable part.
-</p>
-<p>
-So one day about when the river began to fall again, only it was still
-mighty high, me and Swatty and Bony went up to Bony's room in Bony's
-house. It was muddy weather, in June, and I guess we had been wading in
-the mud or something so we knew Bony's mother wouldn't let us go upstairs
-to his room unless we washed our feet first, unless we sneaked it. So we
-sneaked it.
-</p>
-<p>
-The reason we went up was so Bony could prove it that the Victor bicycle
-his father might maybe buy for him weighed only forty-five pounds. He had
-a catalogue to prove it with but it was up in his room, so we went up to
-get it. It proved it, all right. Swatty said that was pretty light for a
-bicycle to weigh, and I said it, too. So then we said a lot of more things
-about a lot of other things but mostly we talked about the bicycle,
-because Bony was going to let me and Swatty learn to ride on it if he got
-it. Swatty bet he could get right on it and ride right off as slick as a
-whistle because he had an uncle in Derlingport that had a dozen bicycles.
-So then Bony said he'd like to know why, if Swatty's uncle had that many,
-he didn't send Swatty one, and Swatty said maybe he would. We just kind of
-talked and let the mud dry on our feet and crack off onto the floor.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, in the floor in one place there was a hole and Bony showed us how he
-could look through it down into the dining-room and see what his mother
-was putting on the table for dinner whenever she was putting anything on.
-The hole was about as big around as a stovepipe and it had a tin business
-in it to keep the floor from catching afire because that was where the
-stovepipe from the dining-room stove came up through the floor to go into
-a drum to help heat Bony's room when it was winter. So we all looked down
-into Bony's stovepipe hole to see if it was like he said. And it was.
-</p>
-<p>
-Just then Bony's father came into the diningroom. He had his hat on but it
-wasn't time for dinner or anything and he didn't come into the dining-room
-as if he was coming for dinner. He came in fast and threw his hat on the
-floor and pounded on the table twice with his fist. The dishes jumped and
-a milk pitcher fell over on its side and spilled the milk.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mary! Mary!&rdquo; he shouted.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Bony's mother came in from the kitchen. &ldquo;Why, Henry!&rdquo; she said; &ldquo;what's
-the matter?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Matter? Matter?&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;I'll tell you what's the matter! I'll show
-you what's the matter! Look at this! Look at this, will you!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty looked but Bony kind of drew back from the hole and his
-mother didn't look. I guess she didn't have to. I guess she knew what it
-was without looking. It was a bill, all right. Me and Swatty could see
-that but we didn't know what it was for&mdash;whether it was for a hat or
-a dress or what. So Bony's father threw the bill on the table and stood
-with one fist on the edge of the table and the other fist opening and
-shutting. Bony's mother had been paring potatoes or something, I guess.
-She wiped her hands on her apron but she didn't pick up the bill.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well?&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Of all the useless, idiotic, ill-timed, outrageous, unheard-of
-extravagance ever incurred by any brainless, gad-about, senseless, vain
-peacock of a woman&mdash;&rdquo; Bony's father said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Henry! Stop right there!&rdquo; Bony's mother said. &ldquo;This time I will not
-listen to your abuse. Year after year I have put up with this browbeating.
-I go in rags, and if I so much as buy&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Rags!&rdquo; Bony's father shouted. &ldquo;Rags! You in rags? You dare taunt me with
-that, when you crowd enough on your back to support a dozen families?
-Rags? When from year's end to year's end I do nothing but struggle to pay
-your eternal bills!&rdquo; Well, maybe I haven't got what Bony's father and
-mother said just the way they said it, but it was like that. So they had a
-good start and they went right on and pretty soon Bony's father was
-walking up and down the room, talking loud and pounding the table every
-time he passed it, and Bony's mother was sitting with a corner of her
-apron in each hand and the hands pressed to her cheeks. Her eyes were big
-and scary. So then Bony's father stopped in front of her and said a lot
-and she didn't talk back. So that made him mad and he took the tablecloth
-and jerked it and all the dishes fell on the floor and broke.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony just went to the bed and lay on his face and squeezed his hands into
-his ears. I guess he felt pretty mean. He was crying, but we didn't know
-that then. We found it out afterward.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then, when all the dishes broke, Bony's mother sort of yelled and
-jumped up. Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! What's she going to do?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But she didn't do anything like we thought she was going to. She bent down
-and picked up a dish that wasn't all smashed to pieces and put it on the
-table as easy as could be and then she untied her apron and folded it up
-and laid it over the back of a chair as neat as a pin. She looked at
-herself in the mirror in the sideboard and then walked around Bony's
-father and went toward the door into the hall.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where are you going?&rdquo; Bony's father asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Going?&rdquo; she said, or something like that. &ldquo;I'm going to see if I can't
-put a stop to this sort of thing. I have had enough years of it. I'm going
-to see Mr. Rascop.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, we knew who he was; he was a lawyer.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; said Bony's father, &ldquo;go! I assure you you cannot get a
-divorce too quickly to suit me!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess that when the loud noise stopped Bony thought the fight was over
-and listened again. Anyway he was listening now and he heard what they
-said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I thought that,&rdquo; said Bony's mother. &ldquo;This is not the first time, by
-many, that I have thought it. You will be glad to be rid of me and I of
-you. My mother will be glad enough to have me with her. I shall, of
-course, take the boy.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;As you like!&rdquo; said Bony's father.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;The boy&rdquo; was Bony, so he began to blubber worse than ever. He was pretty
-much ashamed and when his folks began to talk quiet-like, without
-shouting, me and Swatty began to be ashamed, too. We felt the way you feel
-when there's just been a baby at your house&mdash;as if we hadn't ought to
-be there. So Swatty picked up his hat.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Let's go. It ain't no fun up here in Bony's room.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Wait!&rdquo; Bony whispered, like he was scared to be left there alone, so we
-waited. He came along with us.
-</p>
-<p>
-We tiptoed downstairs and outdoors and I tell you it was good to get
-outside where there wasn't any divorce but just good spring mud and
-things. So Swatty whistled at a kid down the street but it was a kid
-Swatty had said he would lick if he caught him, so the kid ran.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we sat down on the grass under the tree and me and Swatty talked
-pretty loud and fighty because Bony wasn't saying anything at all and was
-looking so earnest it made us feel sort of ashamed. He was thinking of the
-divorce. So me and Swatty talked fighty to each other to try and make Bony
-forget.
-</p>
-<p>
-But Bony didn't laugh. He didn't even smile. So Swatty took some mud and
-stuck it on his nose and pretended it was medicine or something; to make
-Bony laugh. But Bony didn't laugh. I guess he felt pretty bad. Maybe a kid
-always feels that way when his folks are going to get divorced. So then
-Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hey, George! this is the way I'll ride on Bony's bicycle when he gets
-it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he pretended he was on a bicycle and he pretended to fall off all sorts
-of ways and to run into a tree and everything. Then I thought of
-something. I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say! if they get a divorce and Bony goes away we can't learn bicycle
-riding on his bicycle!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We hadn't thought of that before and right away we forgot about whether
-Bony was feeling sick or not. We hadn't stopped to think that a divorce
-Bony's folks were getting would make a big difference like that to me and
-Swatty. It kind of brought us right into the divorce ourselves. Swatty
-looked frightened.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! that's so!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;We can't learn to ride on a bicycle that's
-in another town.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And, say!&rdquo; I said, frightened, &ldquo;if Herb hears about it, and how married
-folks fight and get divorces over hat-bills and things he's going to be
-scared to marry Fan, because hat-bills are the things father scolds Fan
-most about. He'll ask Fan if she has hat-bills&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; said Swatty again, &ldquo;we've got to stop the divorce,&rdquo; only he said
-&ldquo;diworce,&rdquo; because that was how he talked.
-</p>
-<p>
-I thought so, too. If Bony's folks got one and Herb heard about it and got
-scared of marrying Fan, then Swatty wouldn't have the tricycle and I
-couldn't take Mamie Little riding on it and make fat, old Toady Williams
-look sick. So I thought like Swatty did, but I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, how are you going to stop it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If Bony was to get the diphtheria, and get it bad, that would stop it,&rdquo;
- he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-I saw that was so. If Bony got the diphtheria, and got it bad, they
-wouldn't let him travel on the train, and so his mother couldn't go to his
-grandmother's and that would stop it. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, and while he was sick we could use his bicycle all the time. How's
-he going to get diphtheria?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, as easy as pie,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;They've got it down at Markses. All
-he's got to do is to go down there and sneak in and stand around in Billy
-Markses bedroom until he gets it. Diphtheria is one of the easiest things
-you can get. Anybody can get it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-It looked like a mighty good plan to me. Me and Swatty went on talking
-about it and the more we talked the better it was. We talked about how
-long it would be after Bony got exposed to it before he would really have
-it and Swatty said that wouldn't matter. All Bony would have to do would
-be to go right down to Markses and get exposed and then hurry home and
-tell his mother. The divorce would stop right away and wouldn't have to
-wait until he was sick in bed before it stopped. So then I said that,
-anyway, Bony's father would send for the bicycle right away, because
-fathers always hurry up to get things when their boys are good and sick.
-It was all bully and fine and me and Swatty felt pretty good about it, but
-Bony spoke up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't going to get diphtheria!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that's the way some fellows are! You go and work your brains all to
-pieces thinking up things to help them out of their troubles and then they
-say something like that. We saw it wasn't any use to coax him. If we
-wanted to stop the divorce we would have to do it another way. I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know the preacher that Bony's mother goes to the church of.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, what's that got to do with it?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, couldn't we tell him about it and get him to stop the divorce? When
-Jim Carter wouldn't marry our cook my father told the Catholic priest and
-he made Jim Carter marry her as easy as pie.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's no good,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;That was marrying. That's what priests and
-preachers are for&mdash;marrying folks together&mdash;they ain't for
-diworcing them apart again. If it was somebody I wanted to have married
-together of course I'd have thought of a preacher right away. You don't
-think I'm so dumb as not to have thought of that, do you? But this ain't
-marrying them together, it's keeping them married together; it's keeping
-them from diworcing apart.&rdquo; Then, all at once he said, &ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you garshing about?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said again. &ldquo;I guess I am dumb! I guess I ought to let a mule
-kick me! I ought to have thought of it right off!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Thought of what, Swatty?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, the judge! You, talking about preachers and priests and all them and
-not thinking of the judge! It's a judge that always diworces people apart,
-ain't it? Well, what we've got to do is see the judge and tell him not to
-diworce Bony's folks apart!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on! We'll go see the judge and tell him not to diworce Bony's folks
-apart.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess we didn't think when we started how we would do it. We just
-started.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we got down to the court-house, where the judge stays, I didn't feel
-so much like doing it and Bony didn't feel like doing it at all. It was
-different when we got down there than it was when we were sitting on the
-grass under my apple tree. All along the front edge of the front porch of
-the court-house were big pillars and each pillar was as big around as
-twenty boys standing in a lump would be. So me and Bony we sort of peeked
-into the hall and went out on the porch again, but Swatty went right
-inside. So we sort of frowned at Swatty and shouted in a whisper: &ldquo;Aw!
-come on, Swatty! Let's go home.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But Swatty spoke right out, as if he wasn't afraid of the court-house at
-all.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, come on!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;What are you afraid of?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I wouldn't have talked out loud like that for anything. His voice came
-back in echoes: &ldquo;Aw-waw-come-um-um-on-non-non!&rdquo; Like that. Every word he
-said said itself over and over that way.
-</p>
-<p>
-But Swatty, when we didn't come, went down the hall and when he found an
-open door he went right in. He asked for the judge. We looked into the
-hall and we saw Swatty come out of the door he had gone in at and we saw
-him go up the wide stairs and push open the green door at the head of the
-stairs and go in. After a while he came out again and came downstairs and
-out on the porch.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Did you see him?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'd ought to have remembered that this was Saturday.
-Judges don't have court on Saturday; they go fishing.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Bony began to cry. He leaned against one of the big pillars and
-began to snigger like a little kid that's lost, and then he turned his
-face to the pillar and I guess he bawled to himself. I guess he had sort
-of thought Swatty would have everything fixed so there wouldn't be any
-divorce when he came from the judge's room and it disappointed him. So
-Swatty said: &ldquo;Aw! shut up your bellerin'! We ain't going to let your folks
-get diworced, are we? You make me sick, acting like we was. I guess me and
-George knows what we are going to do, don't we, George?&rdquo; So I says, &ldquo;Yes;
-what is it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty knew just what we were going to do; and so did I, after he
-told me. We were going to go to the judge where he was fishing and tell
-him not to divorce Bony's folks. And that was all right because Bony's
-mother was afraid of the water and wouldn't ride in a rowboat and so even
-if she wanted to get divorced quick she couldn't be until the judge came
-back from fishing. So then I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! there ain't no fishing when the water is so high in the river!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! who told you so much?&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;You think you know all the kinds
-of fishing there is, don't you? Well, I guess you don't! I guess me and
-the judge knows more kinds of fishing than you do.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we walked down to the river and Swatty told us. It was buffalo fishing
-you do with a pitchfork. I guess you know what kind of a fish a buffalo
-is. At first nobody ate buffalo fish but niggers, and they ate dogfish,
-too, but pretty soon the fishmarket men got so they shipped buffalo fish
-to Chicago and everywhere just like they shipped catfish. But nobody in
-our town ate them but niggers, because they tasted of mud. Maybe the
-Chicago people liked to taste mud.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, anyway, the buffalo fish eat grass or roots or something and in the
-spring, when the river is high and up over the bottoms, the buffalo fish
-swim up to wherever the edge of the river has gone in the grass and weeds
-and sometimes they swim in so close that their backs stick out of water
-and they sort of swim on their bellies in the mud&mdash;dozens and
-hundreds of them, big fat fellows. So then the farmer can't plough yet,
-because it is too muddy in the fields, and they get their farm wagons and
-some pitchforks and drive down to the river. Then they separate apart and
-wade out and come together again when' they are out about waist deep and
-they wade in toward shore and the buffalo fish are between them and the
-shore. Then the farmers go with a rush and the buffalo fish get scared.
-Some of them get so scared they try to swim right up on shore on their
-bellies, and some try to swim out into deep water, but whatever they try
-to do the farmers just pitchfork them up onto shore. Wagon loads of them!
-So, before the Chicago folks got to like buffalo fish, the farmers chopped
-the buffalo fish into bits and ploughed them into the ground to make
-things grow better, but now they mostly hauled them to town and sold them
-to the fishmarket men for one and one half cents a pound. So that was
-where the judge was. He was over to a farmer's named Shebberd, in
-Illinois, because he had never pitchforked buffalo fish before and he
-wanted to do it once and see what it was like.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony knew where Shebberd's was, because when you were
-over in Illinois you could get a drink of water there.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess it was almost a mile across the river and then it was almost five
-miles back to Shebberd's bottom land cornfield. We got a skiff at the
-boathouse and me and Swatty and Bony rowed across the river. The water was
-mighty high and the current was everywhere and not just in one place, and
-it was strong. Bony sat in the stem and me and Swatty rowed and we had to
-row almost straight up-stream. It was hard work. My wrists swelled up and
-got hot and tight but we kept thinking about the divorce we didn't want
-Bony's folks to get and we kept on rowing. Even with the boat pointed
-almost straight up-stream we were about half a mile below where we
-started, when we reached the Illinois side and rowed in among the trees.
-It was easier there; not so much current.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was fine rowing through the trees, seeing everything, and nothing
-looking like it usually does. We came to the First Slough and it was just
-water&mdash;like a road of water between the trees&mdash;and we kept on
-rowing and came to the Second Slough and the Third Slough and they were
-like that, too, and then we came out of the trees and we were in a whale
-of a lot of water. Bony said, &ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; and Swatty looked over his shoulder
-and said, &ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; and stopped rowing. It looked like miles and miles of
-water&mdash;water we had never seen before&mdash;and all at once you felt
-little and lost and sort of frightened.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;I was never here before.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where is it?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty looked all around.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I never heard of a place like this.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Swatty!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Let's go home!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess I sort of whined it, and so Bony began to cry. Swatty stood up and
-let his oars rest and looked all around. He looked anxious and when Swatty
-looked anxious it was time to be frightened. Anyway, I thought so.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Swatty had looked all around and didn't know any more than he did
-before, he sat down and looked over the edge of the boat at the water. So
-I did it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What do you see, Swatty?&rdquo; I asked, because I was afraid he saw something
-to be frightened of. But what he saw was little flecks of leaves and
-things floating by in the water the way dust floats in the sunlight, and
-the reason he looked was so he could see which way the current was
-running, because no matter where we were we wanted to row up-stream. We
-had gone into the woods below the bottom road and when the water was as
-high as it was now the bottom road either made a dam across the bottom or
-the water came over it like a waterfall or rushed through in a rapids
-nobody could row up. So Swatty knew we couldn't have passed the bottom
-road but must be below it somewhere and the place we wanted to be at was
-just where the bottom road hit the hill, so what we had to do&mdash;wherever
-we were then&mdash;was to row up-stream. So we rowed. We rowed I don't
-know how far and all at once Bony said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Look out! you're rowing into something!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty backed water as quick as we could and looked over our
-shoulders. What we had nearly rowed into was a pile of sticks and a heap
-of dried grass. It was a good deal as if somebody had chucked a couple of
-forks full of hay on a lot of driftwood and set it adrift.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There's something alive in it!&rdquo; Bony sort of shivered.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty looked and I looked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mush-rat's house!&rdquo; Swatty said right away, and it was. It was the kind
-the mush-rats make so that when a flood comes it will float and not sink,
-and there it was right out in the middle of the lake we were lost in.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then all at once Swatty said: &ldquo;Say!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Gee, but he scared me!
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What, Swatty?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say!&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;we're floating away from that mush-rat house and it ain't
-floating with us. I never heard of a mush-rat house out in the middle of a
-lake, with a current floating by, that didn't float with the current!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Are you scared, Swatty?&rdquo; I asked, for if he was scared I didn't know what
-I would be.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, I ain't scared,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;but it ain't right. It ain't possible,
-that's all! I bet this is a haunted lake. I bet there is a haunted house
-around here, or an ol' witch, or something.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on, let's get out of it, then. Let's row!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You bet I'll row!&rdquo; Swatty said, and we did. We steered off to one side of
-the mush-rat's house and rowed hard. We had a good double-ender skiff,
-rounded bottom and not flat bottom, and we made her hump! All of a sudden
-Swatty's left oar came out of the oarlock and he nearly fell backwards
-into the bottom of the boat. He got up and slapped the oar back into the
-oarlock and we both rowed hard.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We ain't moving!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Bony said that. He was hanging onto the sides of the skiff with both
-hands, looking scared and white, and you never heard anybody say anything
-the way he said that! It was like he had seen a ghost. Me and Swatty
-stopped rowing and looked. About twenty feet away from us was that old
-mush-rat house and we could see a little ripple of water on the upper side
-of it but it wasn't moving and we weren't floating away from it. There was
-the same kind of ripple against the bow of our boat.
-</p>
-<p>
-We rowed again and we rowed hard and the skiff didn't move! There we were,
-out in the middle of that haunted lake, or whatever it was, and no bottom
-that you could reach with an oar, and we couldn't row up-stream and we
-didn't float downstream. And over yonder was a mush-rat's house just like
-we were. It sure looked like we were in a haunted lake and I didn't blame
-Bony for being scared and crying. I was scared myself. It looked like we
-were in a haunted lake we could not row out of and that we might have to
-stay there forever.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, garsh!&rdquo; Swatty said, &ldquo;we rowed up here, we ought to be good and
-able to row back where we come from.&rdquo; So we swung the skiff around and
-rowed down-current. No good! We didn't move at all. Or we just moved a
-foot or two.
-</p>
-<p>
-It wasn't like when you run up on a snag or a rock. It wasn't stiff like
-that. We floated all right but we couldn't go anywhere.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Listen!&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Away off far we heard voices and splashing, sounding the way things sound
-when you hear them across water. Swatty shouted. &ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; he shouted, and
-his voice came back to him, &ldquo;Lo-wo-wo!&rdquo; in an echo, the way echoes do.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Now we know where the Illinois hills are, anyway.
-That's the way they echo back at you, so they must be over there. And I
-bet those men splashing in the water are after buffalo with pitchforks. So
-that's where we want to row.&rdquo; That was pretty fine, wasn't it, when we
-couldn't row at all? I told Swatty so. I said we'd better shout and have
-the men come and get us. Swatty said they'd just think it was kids
-shouting for fun; and I guess that's what they did think, for we shouted
-and shouted, and when we quit we could still hear the men laughing and
-talking and splashing. So then Swatty sat down and put his head in his
-hands and thought. When we looked up he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Do you believe in haunts and things?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Do you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know, either,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but I
-know one thing: I ain't going to believe in them until I have to. I ain't
-going to believe this boat is 'witched here until I know it ain't stuck
-here some other way. I'm going to find out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;How?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if we're stuck we're stuck on something under the water and that's
-sure, and I'm going to skin off my clothes and find out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he did. I wouldn't have done it for a million dollars and I tried to
-make him not, but he did it. He took off his clothes and lowered himself
-over the side of the boat and said, garsh! how cold it was! So then he
-edged himself along, holding onto the side of the boat and all at once he
-swore.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; me and Bony both asked at once.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Bob wire!&rdquo; he said, and he let go with one hand and felt down into the
-water. Then he took hold of the boat with both hands and felt along under
-the boat with his feet. &ldquo;It's a post,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It's a bob-wire fence.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So that was what it was. There was a bob-wire fence and we had rowed right
-on top of one of the posts and stuck there, on a nail or something, and
-the post was loose in the mud and gave when we rowed, so we couldn't
-wrench loose by rowing. And that was why the mush-rat house did not float
-downstream; it was caught on another post. So all at once Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know where we are; we're in Shebberd's lower cornfield!&rdquo; And that was
-where we were. The water had come up and covered it up to the tops of the
-bob-wire fence posts.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty's teeth were chattering but he wouldn't get right into the
-boat. He made me and Bony row while he was out, and I guess with the boat
-lighter it floated off the post easier, for it did float off. So then
-Swatty got in and dressed and we rowed toward the voices and the
-splashing.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was Judge Hannan all right. He was pitch-forking buffalo fish with the
-Shebberds. He had on rubber hip boots and he was hot and having a good
-time. We rowed in close to where he was and watched them pitchfork awhile
-and then Swatty backwatered the skiff up to where the judge was standing
-and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say, mister judge!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The judge leaned his hand on the stem of the boat and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, my lad, what is it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Are you the judge that gives diworces?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm the one that don't give them unless I have to, son,&rdquo; the judge
-laughed. &ldquo;Looking for one? You don't look as if you had reached that age
-and state yet.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It ain't mine,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;It's Bony's folkses. They're having a fight
-and they're going to get a diworce and me and Georgie and Bony don't want
-them to. So we rowed over to tell you not to give them one.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The judge felt in his pocket and got out his spectacles and put them on
-and looked at us. He asked which was Bony and then he knew who Bony was
-and that he knew Bony's folks. He said he did.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And you don't want any divorces in your family, hey?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Why not?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Bony didn't say anything, so Swatty started to tell about the bicycle, but
-before he got very far Bony just doubled over and put his head on his
-knees and began to beller like a real baby. So the judge stopped Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Son,&rdquo; he said to Swatty, &ldquo;I guess you've mistooken the proper legal
-grounds for not giving divorces. The desire of a youth to learn to ride
-one of the condemned things when he is related to the separating parties
-only by neighborhood is not sufficient to sway the court. But you, son,&rdquo;
- he said to Bony, &ldquo;have got exactly the right idea. You've swayed this old,
-bald-headed court right down to the mud he's standing in and, so help me
-John Joseph Rogers! if those two parents of yours get a divorce it will
-only be over my dead body! Hey, Sheb! can these kids go up to your house
-and get some buttermilk?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I said I didn't like buttermilk and the judge said: &ldquo;Caesar's ghost! I
-didn't mean get it for you; I meant get it for us!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we got it. So Bony's folks didn't get a divorce. Anyway, if they did
-they didn't separate apart from each other and that was all me and Swatty
-cared for because Herb Schwartz wouldn't be scared to marry Fan, and maybe
-we could hurry up the wedding and get the tricycle sooner.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-IV. THE STUMP
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, you never can tell how things are going to go in this world, I
-guess. I don't mean that I spent all my time thinking how getting the
-tricycle with two seats would make Mamie Little think more of me than she
-thought of Toady Williams, because I didn't. I had school and my chores
-and me and Swatty and Bony was building a capstan in our side yard, to
-pull up stumps and move houses if we wanted to, but once in a while I did
-think how I would ride up to Mamie Little's front gate on the tricycle and
-say, &ldquo;Say! wanta take a ride?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-It looked as if it wouldn't be long before Herb and Fan got married,
-because they hadn't fought for a long while and Fan was embroidering
-towels by day and by night. One reason it all looked good was that Miss
-Murphy, who was my teacher and had had Herb for a while, had gone away for
-a while and Miss Carter was substituting for her in our room. So Fan
-needn't be jealous of Miss Murphy any more.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I felt pretty good mostly but I was feeling pretty mean this day,
-because Swatty and Bony had been let out on time and Miss Carter had kept
-me in after school. I was feeling mean because they would be working on
-the capstan, and it was the day we thought we would get it finished and
-begin capstaning things with it, and I wouldn't be home when they got it
-done. I wanted to be there when they started to use it. So that made me
-feel mean one way, and teacher made me feel meaner, another way.
-</p>
-<p>
-I liked Miss Carter better than any teacher I ever had. So all I did was
-not know my geography-lesson, or my arithmetic-lesson or my
-grammar-lesson, or my history, and I missed in spelling. I guess maybe I
-read all right, because she didn't say I didn't, but maybe she forgot to
-talk about that because she was so busy saying my deportment was bad and
-it was certainly an outrage that my copy-book was so poorly kept. So she
-kept me in to study, and it was four o'clock pretty soon, and she put her
-papers in her desk and shut down the lid and came back to my seat.
-Everybody else had gone home. I was sort of scared. I thought she was
-going to say her patience was exhausted and then whale me with the rawhide
-she kept in the closet.
-</p>
-<p>
-But she didn't. She came back to where I was, and when she got to my seat
-she sat down in it beside me and I had to move over so she would have
-room. I guess I ought to have put my hands in my pockets, but of course I
-didn't know what she was going to do, and the first thing she did was to
-put her left hand on top of my hand and hold it, like that, on top of my
-desk. So I tried to pull it away, but she held on. So then she put her arm&mdash;her
-right arm&mdash;along the desk back of me, and I felt mighty mean. A boy
-don't like to be armed around that way, or his hand held like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;what is it? Why are you acting the way you are? Are
-you doing it to try to distress me?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I couldn't say anything to that, could I? I just looked at the top
-of the desk and moved my feet around.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Tell me!&rdquo; she said as if she wasn't mad at all but as if she was sorry.
-&ldquo;I can't understand it. It is no use for you to pretend you can't learn
-your lessons, for I have seen that it is no trouble at all for you, when
-you want to. And you are such a naturally good, well-behaved boy at heart&mdash;why
-are you trying to act as if you were not? Are you doing it to distress
-me?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess I sort of said &ldquo;No!&rdquo; I don't know what I did say. I felt pretty
-bad, with my hand held like that and her arm right there and liable to get
-around my shoulders the way she does to the girls when she's fond of them
-and they disappoint her and she has a talk with them and makes them cry.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Then what is it, George?&rdquo; she asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, you can't blat right out and say nothing is the matter only you
-don't feel like learning any old lessons or anything, can you? There
-wasn't anything the matter. I didn't have it in for teacher or anything. I
-just didn't feel like learning any lessons about then, and it was mean of
-teacher to let on I was doing things because I didn't like her or
-something. So I didn't say anything. I sort of scrooged down in my seat so
-she couldn't put her arm around me any more than it was.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Is it Mamie Little?&rdquo; she asked then, all of a sudden.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was an awful mean thing to say, and I guess she knew it was, because
-when a fellow has a girl he don't want anybody to know it or talk about
-it. He'll fight any fellow that says it, but he can't fight his teacher
-when she says it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I think it must be Mamie Little, George,&rdquo; she said next, &ldquo;because I have
-noticed you keep your eyes on her more than you do on your lessons.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That made me squirm, I guess! But that wasn't the worst. She wasn't hardly
-started.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't blame you for liking Mamie, George,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;She is a sweet
-child and I love her, too, and I am glad you are fond of her; but don't
-you think she would like you better if you learned your lessons and
-behaved in a manner she could admire, instead of trying to attract her
-attention by smarty tricks? Don't you think a boy with your ability should
-try to impress her by his excellence rather than by his smarty tricks?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Gee! I felt mean! Running a fellow's girl in on him like that! I was so
-ashamed all over that I couldn't move. I didn't dare to move even a
-finger. I couldn't do anything but swallow.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now, we won't say anything more about it,&rdquo; she said, and she patted my
-hand! &ldquo;You know how much I like you, George, and how proud I usually am of
-you, and I think Mamie is fond of you, too. I don't think you need to be a
-smarty to attract her. If you don't care to do it for me, George, tell me
-you will try to learn your lessons and behave better on Mamie's account.
-You will, won't you? Say you will!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess I tried to say I would, but I couldn't even swallow. I didn't know
-how I'd even get away from there, because Miss Carter might stay until I
-said I would or something, and I couldn't work my voice: it had dried up,
-I guess. But I didn't have to say anything. Miss Carter put her hand on my
-head and let it stay there a minute, and then she smiled and jumped up as
-if everything was fixed and I had said I would, and she said: &ldquo;All right,
-George; you can go home.&rdquo; And I went, you bet.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that settled Miss Carter with me! She had been one of the three
-women I thought were dandy, because the other two were my mother and my
-grandmother that everybody calls &ldquo;Ladylove&rdquo; because she is so dear, but
-after that I was done with Miss Carter. Anybody that would talk to a
-fellow about his girl as if she <i>was</i> his girl! I guessed maybe I
-would n't go back to school any more unless I could get transferred to
-another teacher's room.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I felt pretty mean and sore and everything when I got home, and I
-started around to the side yard, where Swatty and Bony were finishing the
-capstan, and all at once my mother came to the end of the porch and pulled
-the vines aside and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George, come here!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I tried to think what I had done to make her say it like that, but I
-couldn't, only a fellow is always doing something, so it didn't matter
-much what it was. I went around and onto the porch.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, ma'am,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George,&rdquo; my mother said in the way they call severe, &ldquo;Mrs. Martin was
-here.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes'm,&rdquo; I said, for I didn't know what else to say, because I didn't know
-why Mrs. Martin had been there. I knew who Mrs. Martin was and where she
-lived, because she was the lady that had the lame boy that would never
-grow up but would always be about five years old. He was thirteen years
-old, and he played with a rag doll and always stayed in his yard, but
-sometimes he looked out between the fence-pickets. Sometimes when I went
-downtown on errands and got a nickel for it and bought some candy, I'd
-give him a piece when I went by, and so would Swatty and so would Bony.
-Sometimes he'd say, &ldquo;Where you get that ball? I want it!&rdquo; just like a
-little baby, and if we didn't give it to him, he'd cry, but we couldn't
-give him our ball, could we? So when we went by his house we hid anything
-he might cry for, so he wouldn't cry for it. That was all I knew about
-Mrs. Martin, only she was a widow and she was cross sometimes. Anyway,
-sometimes she looked cross.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George,&rdquo; my mother said&mdash;and I guess she never spoke to me any
-sadder than she did then&mdash;&ldquo;Mrs. Martin told me something I would
-never have believed of my boy. I have always thought you were a
-kind-hearted, considerate boy. Oh, George, why&mdash;why did you strike
-that poor, helpless little cripple?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I did not! I didn't do any such thing! It ain't so!&rdquo; I said, because I
-knew she meant I had hit Sammy Martin.
-</p>
-<p>
-My mother sort of threw out her hand.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Don't!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;It is enough without that. It is enough to be a bully
-without being a liar. Mrs. Martin has told me&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't a liar!&rdquo; I said, because I was so mad I could have cried. &ldquo;If she
-said that, she's a liar; that's what she is!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I oughtn't to have called a lady that, or anybody, but I was so mad
-I didn't think. I wasn't thinking about how I said it, and when a fellow's
-mother looks at him the way my mother was looking at me, and won't believe
-him when he's telling the truth, what's he going to do? I guess my mother
-was feeling pretty bad herself or she wouldn't have said any such thing to
-me as that I was one. Because I wasn't one! Not about that! I had never
-hit Sammy Martin. I had never done anything to him but give him candy once
-in a while.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George!&rdquo; said my mother, and she was sad about it, as if she was now
-quite hopeless about me.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then she went on, as quietly as if we were at a funeral:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That poor child's mother came here to beg me to protect her child against
-you&mdash;to beg me to ask you not to harm him again! You called him to
-the fence and struck him across the face with a stick or a switch. Oh,
-don't deny it! She has seen you coax him to the fence before and give him
-candy, and when he came crying to her with a welt rising on his poor face,
-he told her you had done it. And I thought you were&mdash;I thought&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then she cried, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and feel&mdash;oh,
-I don't know how I felt! I guess I had never felt like that in my life. It
-wasn't so, and I knew it wasn't so, and nobody would ever believe it
-wasn't so. I couldn't do anything but stand there and wish I was dead or
-grown up or something. I just stood and looked down, and once in a while I
-blinked. So then, after a while, my mother wiped her eyes and walked past
-me without saying anything or looking at me and went into the house, and I
-stood there awhile and then I sort of turned and went to the edge of the
-porch and sneaked around to the back yard. It wasn't fair to think such
-things of me when they were not so, and I felt awful bad. I never wanted
-to see my mother again. So then Swatty saw me and shouted.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on!&rdquo; he yelled. &ldquo;We've got her done! She's a dandy!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I ran to where the capstan was, and she was a dandy!
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess you know what capstans are&mdash;the things they use in moving
-houses? In Riverbank they move a lot of houses, because people are always
-wanting to build other houses where houses already are, and you can't move
-a house without a capstan. They have them on boats, too, but not quite the
-same kind. The house-moving kind is like a square box, without sides. In
-the middle, up and down, is a kind of roller that the rope rolls onto, and
-the roller has to stick up above the top of the box so there can be a
-place to stick a pole into to turn the roller. When they move houses they
-set the capstan in the middle of the street a long way from the house, and
-carry a rope back and fasten it to the house, and then a horse that is
-fastened to the pole walks around and around the capstan, stepping over
-the rope every time he passes it, and winds up the rope, and that pulls
-the house. Only we didn't have any horse, so we thought maybe we'd use
-Swatty's cow. But we didn't. We turned the capstan ourselves. All the time
-we were making the capstan Swatty said the cow would turn it, but when we
-got it done he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who ever heard of a cow turning a capstan?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I did,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;In the Bible-book there is a picture of a cow turning a
-capstan.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, that ain't the same thing,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;That's a Bible-cow, and
-ours is part Alderney and part Holstein.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And this isn't any cow-capstan, anyway,&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;A cow couldn't work
-this capstan, because a cow has two toes, and she'd get the rope caught
-between her toes and fall and kill herself.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Whose cow are you saying would fall and kill herself&mdash;my cow?&rdquo;
- Swatty asked, the way he did when he meant: &ldquo;Take it back or I'll lick
-you!&rdquo; Then he says: &ldquo;You'd better not say my cow would fall and kill
-herself. If my cow couldn't step over a rope without getting it between
-her toes, I'd take her and kill her.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, you would not!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, I would, too!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;We had a cow once that couldn't step
-over a rope without getting it between her toes, and my father took her
-down to the river and killed her. You needn't say we'd have a cow that
-can't step over a rope&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I never said it,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if you didn't say it, who did say it, I'd like to know,&rdquo; Swatty
-asked. &ldquo;Bony didn't say it and you'd better not say he said it, because he
-came over and helped me finish the capstan, and you stayed in school and
-let us do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I didn't stay in school; I was kept in.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you say you was, but I don't have to believe it, do I?&rdquo; Swatty
-said. &ldquo;I don't have to believe everything you say just because I'm&mdash;because
-I'm in your yard, do I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I saw Swatty wanted a fight, and I wanted a fight anyway. I felt
-like it. So I said; &ldquo;Who are you calling a liar?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I went up close to him, and he went up close to me; and then I pushed him
-and he pushed me back; and then I hit him and he hit me back. And when he
-had me down and asked me if I had had enough and got off of me, we went
-ahead with the capstan. I wasn't hurt <i>anywhere</i> except on the inside
-of my cheek, where a tooth cut it.
-</p>
-<p>
-The capstan was a good one. Swatty showed how it worked, and pushed the
-pole around, and it worked fine. So then I got my sled out of the barn,
-where it had been since last winter, and we took turns being pulled on the
-sled. So then we wished we had a house to move, but there wasn't any house
-or building we dared move. I bet we could have done it. So we looked for
-something we couldn't move without a capstan, so we could use the capstan
-to move it. There is no use having a capstan if you haven't anything to do
-with it. You might just as well not have made one. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll tell you! Let's pull up the old stump that's in our front yard!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right&mdash;let's!&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-We had a lot of trees in our yard&mdash;a big silver poplar in the back
-yard that was twice as big around as a barrel, and a yellow-mellow apple,
-and a Benoni apple, and a black-heart cherry, and a row of pines leading
-down to the gate, and big maples inside the fence, and maybe some more.
-There were trees all over town, lots of them, and you would have thought
-there had always been trees, but I guess that isn't so. People planted
-them. When people came to Riverbank and made a town of it, they planted
-the trees because there were none when they came, and I guess they liked
-it better with trees growing than when it was all bare. I know my
-grandmother did.
-</p>
-<p>
-My grandmother was an old, old woman, and she lived with us because the
-house had been built by my grandfather, and my grandfather had planted the
-trees. That was a long time before I was ever born. We called my
-grandmother &ldquo;Ladylove,&rdquo; because I guess that is what my grandfather called
-her. Nobody ever called her anything else but Ladylove, not &ldquo;Gran'ma&rdquo; or
-anything like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess nobody ever loved trees the way she loved them. I guess she was
-always sorry she had come away from Pennsylvania where there are lots of
-trees and hills. Sometimes, early in the morning, she would come out on
-the porch and look up and say, &ldquo;I lift up mine eyes to the hills!&rdquo; and
-then she would sigh and shake her head. That was because there was no
-hills in Riverbank when she lifted? up her eyes from our porch, and I
-guess she was thinking of the hills in Pennsylvania, because when she was
-a girl and lived there, there were always hills to lift up her eyes to&mdash;hills
-that were covered with trees.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was the way my grandmother Ladylove was, as old as old, and nobody
-ever loved trees the way she did. She liked boys too. She liked all the
-boys that ever came to play with me. She was the only one that never
-scolded me. Plenty of times when we had fresh cookies and nobody was to
-touch a single one until the next day, Ladylove would see us playing in
-the yard and she would come out with a china plate with a napkin on it
-piled up with cookies. Then she would say a verse of poetry and give us
-the cookies and go into the house just as happy as could be. Sometimes she
-would forget she had brought us any and would come right out with another
-plateful and say the poetry over again and be just as happy over that one
-as she was over the other.
-</p>
-<p>
-When I said, &ldquo;Let's pull the old stump that's in the front yard,&rdquo; I didn't
-think anything but that it would be a good thing to pull. I didn't even
-know it had ever <i>been</i> a tree; it had always been a stump since I
-was a little bit of a kid, anyway. It wasn't much of a stump any more. It
-was only about as high as my knee, and right at the ground it was only as
-big around as a man's knee. Once I had a little hatchet, but it wouldn't
-cut much, but I chopped the stump with it. I could only chop off a little
-splinter at a time, and I never got much off. It only made the stump
-raggedy at the top. It was just an old stump that wasn't worth anything
-and wasn't any good to anybody.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty and Bony and me started to move the capstan into the front yard
-where the stump was. It was so heavy we could hardly wiggle it, so after
-we had moved it an inch or two I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! we can't move it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Bony said the same thing; but Swatty stood and looked at the capstan
-awhile, and then he said: &ldquo;Yes, we can move it, too! We can make it move
-itself.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;How can we?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You come ahead and I'll show you,&rdquo; he said; and he did. He drove a stake
-into the ground about as far as our capstan rope would reach, and fastened
-the rope to it. Then he made Bony turn the capstan pole, and that wound up
-the rope, and the capstan just had to move toward the stake. When we got
-it to the stake we knocked the stake out with an axe and put it in again
-farther along. That way we moved the capstan to where we wanted it. Swatty
-thought of how to do it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then we had the capstan in the front yard, and we tied the rope around
-the old stump and tried to pull it, but the capstan just moved up to the
-stump. So Swatty said he knew what was the matter and that we were all
-crazy because we didn't think of it before, and that all the house-movers,
-when they were moving houses, drove stakes in front of their capstans to
-keep them from moving, and stakes behind them to keep them from tipping
-up.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got some stakes and did it. Swatty drove the stakes because he was
-strongest, and anyway, he knew how to swing an axe, because he had often
-studied how the circus roughnecks swung them. Anyway he said he had. He
-said he had sat for over an hour and just studied how they swung axes at
-stakes and that then he asked one roughneck to let him try it, and he did,
-and he drove over a hundred. He said that while he was driving stakes Mr.
-Barnum came out of the big tent and watched him, and that he liked the way
-he was driving stakes so well that he offered him a hundred dollars a year
-just to drive stakes for the circus. So I asked Swatty if he took up the
-offer, and he said he did. He said he went with the circus all over the
-United States, driving stakes, and that he drove so many he got so he
-could drive a stake with one blow. So then he said he went to Mr. Bamum
-and asked him to pay him two hundred dollars a year, but Mr. Bamum said he
-couldn't afford it. He said Swatty was worth two hundred dollars a year
-but the show couldn't afford it. So, Swatty said, he came home. That's
-what Swatty said, but I didn't hardly believe it. But, anyway, we had to
-let him drive the stakes.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the stump didn't come out as easy as we had thought it would. It was
-pretty rotten, and it pulled off piece by piece, but the inside was tough.
-Our rope was old, too, and broke nearly every time we tautened it. But it
-was good fun, anyway. We took turns turning the capstan pole. One would
-turn and the other would keep the rope on the stump and the other would be
-boss and shout, &ldquo;Whoa! Get up! Whoa there, you!&rdquo; A lot of boys came and
-looked through the picket fence and wished we would let them come in and
-help us capstan the stump, but we wouldn't. What's the use of having
-something somebody else hasn't got, if you are going to let them have it
-too?
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon we got the stump all pulled. There was only a hole where it
-had been and the rotted wood was scattered around on the grass, and we
-felt pretty good about it, because nobody wants old stumps sticking up in
-their yards. Swatty said maybe my father would give me a quarter for
-pulling the stump and I thought maybe he would, too. We all felt as if we
-had done something pretty fine, and I wished I could go and get my mother
-and have her come out and see how good our capstan was and have her say,
-&ldquo;Why, that's fine, Georgie! I'll have your father give you a quarter when
-he comes home.&rdquo; But I remembered about Mrs. Martin. I remembered that my
-mother would probably never think anything I ever did again was any good
-at all. So I didn't call her.
-</p>
-<p>
-Just then Ladylove&mdash;my grandmother&mdash;came out of the side door.
-She stood a moment on the top step, looking, and then she came down to the
-grass and started toward us. She had a plate in her hand, and there were
-graham crackers on it, because there were no cookies that day. I guess she
-heard us shouting and thought we would like some graham crackers, because
-we were boys.
-</p>
-<p>
-As soon as I saw her I jumped and ran toward her, because she was some one
-we could show what we had done.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come here, Ladylove,&rdquo; I shouted. &ldquo;Come on, we want to show you what we
-did with our capstan!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes! yes!&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I took the plate of crackers, and with the other hand I sort of
-steadied her elbow, because our yard wasn't very smooth and she didn't
-walk very steady or very fast. We came to where the capstan was, and she
-steadied herself with one hand on it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;See what we did, Ladylove! We pulled that old tree stump
-right out of the ground. We got rid of that old stump all right!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Ladylove stood quiet so long that I got frightened. She looked up at the
-sky and when she looked down at me there were tears in her eyes. I could
-see them.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;My tree! My beautiful tree!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Ah, Georgie, could you kill my
-tree?&rdquo; And then she closed her eyes and held out her hands and said:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;Degenerate Douglas! Oh, the unworthy lord!
-Whom mere despite of heart could so far please
-To level with the dust a noble horde,
-A brotherhood of venerable trees!&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-It wasn't a horde of trees at all, nothing but an old rotten stump and no
-good to anybody, but I felt awful bad about it as soon as she spoke that
-poetry&mdash;not because the old stump was any good but because my
-grandmother was so old and seemed to think so much of the old stump.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony just stood and didn't know what to say. We wished
-she had scolded us or something instead of feeling that way.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Gone! Gone!&rdquo; she said, letting her hands fall, as if that old stump was
-the only thing she ever cared for. &ldquo;Gone!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;It is not now as it has been of yore;
-Turn wheresoe'er I may,
-By night or day,
-The things which I have seen
-I now can see no more!&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-Well, we couldn't say anything, could we, when she felt like that? We
-could just feel mean. It didn't matter that we knew it was just an old,
-rotten, no good stump, because she thought it was a tree and that we had
-cut it down. She shook her head, and then:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;Some they have died, and some they have left me,
-And some are taken from me; all are departed;
-All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-So then she turned and walked away with her head bent down and the tears
-running down her cheeks, and I stood there with the plate of graham
-crackers in my hand and didn't know what to do or what to say, and Bony
-stood and looked kind of scared. I didn't dare look after my grandmother.
-I just felt mean and sneaky and ashamed and sort of miserable about
-everything, because I knew she thought I had done it when I knew I
-oughtn't to have done it. At the step of the side door she stopped and
-looked back and then went into the house, all old and sad-looking. I
-guessed I had broken her heart, she felt so bad about it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Bony started to go home. He didn't say anything, but he sort of
-edged off as if he wanted to sneak away and get out of any trouble I was
-in. Swatty spoke right up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You come back here!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You come back, or I'll show you!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I was glad to have anybody say anything, even that.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, I got to go home,&rdquo; Bony said. But he came back. He knew what Swatty
-would do to him if he didn't. So then Swatty made a face at the pieces of
-old stump.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Garsh! who'd of thunk anybody cared for that old stump?
-We didn't know Ladylove cared that much for it, did we? Well, come on!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on where?&rdquo; Bony sort of whined.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where do you think?&rdquo; Swatty asked. &ldquo;What do I care where? Anywhere we can
-get a tree to plant&mdash;that's where. We'll get a big tree, like those
-maple trees, and we'll fetch it here and plant it; that's what we'll do!
-I'll tell you what. We'll take the capstan rope and go out to the cow
-pasture and dig up a big tree and let my cow drag it here. We'll play
-she's a team of oxen.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, we got to fighting about who would drive the team of oxen and who
-would ride on the tree, and we forgot all about being ashamed of pulling
-up the stump. We took a spade and the axe, and went out to the pasture,
-but when we saw how big a big tree was, we guessed we'd get one that
-wasn't so big, and then we guessed we'd get one that wasn't as big as
-that, because Swatty said he didn't want his cow to strain herself pulling
-it. So the one we got wasn't very big, after all, but it was more of a
-tree than that old rotten stump was. It was a willow tree. We got a willow
-tree after we'd tried to dig up the roots of an elm tree. Swatty said that
-a willow tree didn't need any roots.
-</p>
-<p>
-The cow didn't like pulling a tree very well, but she got used to it
-before we got home&mdash;only we couldn't ride on such a little tree. We
-had to take turns being the ox-driver. But we got home all right and dug a
-hole where the old stump had been, and we planted the tree. She looked
-bully. She looked almost like a real tree. So then I went into the house
-to get my grandmother, to show her, so she wouldn't feel so bad about the
-old stump.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess she had forgotten all about it. She was sitting by the window,
-reading the limber-backed psalm-book, and when I came in she looked up and
-smiled.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on out in the yard, Ladylove,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I want to show you what me
-and Bony and Swatty did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-She closed the psalm-book with her glasses inside and put the book on her
-sewing-table and went with me. I took her right to where the tree was.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Me and Bony and Swatty planted a new tree for you where
-that old stump was.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<h3>
-THE STUMP
-</h3>
-<p>
-My grandmother looked at the tree. Her eyes were full of tears again, but
-they weren't the kind that worried me. She held out a hand toward the tree
-and said some more poetry:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;What plant we in this apple tree?
-Buds, which the breath of summer days
-Shall lengthen into leafy sprays;
-Boughs, where the thrush with crimson breast
-Shall haunt and sing and hide her nest.
-We plant upon the sunny lea
-A shadow for the noontide hour,
-A shelter from the summer shower,
-When we plant the apple tree.&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-Well, it wasn't an apple tree, but I didn't care, and neither did Swatty
-or Bony. I was just glad because Ladylove was glad, and I guessed she knew
-it wasn't an apple tree, because when you use poetry you have to use the
-kind there is, and it don't always fit. But this one fitted close enough
-to show how happy Ladylove was. She was very happy, and when she had said
-the verses she laughed and kissed Swatty's hand, and then Bony's and then
-mine, and took her skirt in two hands and made us a curtsy and went away
-as happy as anything. I felt pretty good.
-</p>
-<p>
-So just then my father came home, because it was supper-time. He came into
-the yard, and he walked across the grass to where we were. He looked sort
-of sober, the way fathers do when they want to know what their sons have
-been doing.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What's that?&rdquo; he asked, short.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It's a capstan,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Me and Bony and Swatty made it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you going to do with it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know. Maybe nothing.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hm! And what is this tree doing here?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why&mdash;&rdquo; I said, and then I didn't know what to say.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, there was an old stump here,&rdquo; said Swatty, &ldquo;and we pulled it up with
-the capstan, and Ladylove, she came out, and she felt pretty bad&mdash;&rdquo;
- &ldquo;She couldn't remember it wasn't a tree #ny more,&rdquo; said Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And so we went and got a tree and planted it for her,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-My father looked at me. Then he turned away. &ldquo;Don't do any damage with
-that capstan thing,&rdquo; he said, and that was all.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, nobody said anything at supper, so after supper I went out and sat
-on the porch, and Herb Schwartz had come over to talk with Fan awhile and
-they were there too. So pretty soon my father came out and lighted a cigar
-and gave Herb one. Then my mother came out and I guessed I would go into
-the back yard or somewhere, because I knew she would tell my father about
-what Mrs. Martin had lied about me hurting her crazy boy. So I went and
-sat on the woodshed step awhile, because if my father was going to lick me
-he would do it out there anyway.
-</p>
-<p>
-But he didn't come, so after a while I went around front again. I stopped
-by the vines at the end of the porch, because my father was talking.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And I will tell you something else,&rdquo; he was saying. So he told them about
-the stump, and how we had pulled it up and then gone and got another tree
-because Ladylove felt so bad about it. &ldquo;And Mrs. Martin nor any one else
-need tell me that a boy that would do that would torment a crippled
-child,&rdquo; my father said. &ldquo;I think I know my son George fairly well. What
-did George say about it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He said Mrs. Martin&mdash;lied,&rdquo; said my mother. &ldquo;And she probably did,&rdquo;
- said my father. &ldquo;Unintentionally but none the less wickedly. I am going to
-see her. I think she is going to apologize.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I felt bully about that, and my father went down the walk and mother
-went into the house. I felt bully because father was right. Only I was n't
-the one that thought of planting the new tree. That was Swatty. But I
-guess I'd have thought of it if Swatty hadn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was just going to go up on the porch when Fan said something. What she
-said was:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Poor father! The way he lets Georgie behave and then stands up for him!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, Fan,&rdquo; Herb said, &ldquo;you don't think George did anything of the sort
-Mrs. Martin said, do you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I wouldn't put it beyond him,&rdquo; Fan said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's not fair! That's unjust!&rdquo; Herb said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh! I'm unfair, am I? I'm unjust, am I?&rdquo; Fan flared up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You are if you say such things about George,&rdquo; Herb said, and he said it
-out flat, too, as if he meant it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; Fan said. &ldquo;The last time I was jealous. Now I am unjust! I'm sure I
-thank you for your opinion of me&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And, now, Frances,&rdquo; said Herb, standing up because Fan was, &ldquo;you are
-unfair and unjust to me. Either that or frivolous.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; Fan cried out and she slung something on the porch that bounced and
-rolled. It came through the vines and to where I was, and I picked it up.
-It was her engagement ring, but she didn't care where it went, because she
-went slamming into the house, and Herb went stamping to the gate and out
-of the yard.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I stood there and looked at the ring and felt pretty sick, because it
-was just because Herb thought I wasn't a liar and a mean cripple-torturer
-that he had stood up for me. And, just because I was n't, his wedding was
-off again and nobody could tell when me and Swatty would get his tricycle.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-V. SCRATCH-CAT
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, when mother heard that Herb and Fan had had another fight she was so
-hurt by it she just set down and cried and said, &ldquo;Fan! Fan! I don't know
-what is going to become of you with that temper of yours, because Herbert
-Schwartz is one of the finest young men in the whole world and if you keep
-on you 'll delineate his affections away from you entirely forever,&rdquo; or
-something like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-And it did look like it. Professor Martin's leg didn't get any better and
-he had to go over to the hospital at Chicago to have it broke again and
-fixed and Herb was made a regular professor at our school and principal of
-it, and every day he used to come into our room and talk awhile with Miss
-Carter, and walk home with her. I tell you it looked mighty bad for Fan,
-and I didn't blame Herb, because Miss Carter was nice. She was nice for a
-teacher, I mean, and sweet and pretty and everything.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I had the engagement ring. I didn't know whether it was mine or
-whose it was, because Fan had thrown it away and Herb hadn't bothered to
-pick it up. So it looked as if it was mine, because finders is keepers. So
-I asked Swatty. So Swatty wanted to look at the ring and when he saw it
-had a diamond in it he said it was my ring, because Herb and Fan had
-thrown it away, but that half of it was his, because Herb was as much
-Swatty's brother as Fan was my sister, and if they had of had the fight on
-Herb's porch instead of Fan's porch, it would of been Swatty that found
-the ring. So we had it in pardnership and said we would keep it, because
-if Herb got engaged again to Fan or to Miss Carter or anybody we could
-trade it to him for his two-seat tricycle, maybe.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony was sitting there all the time, listening to us, so all at once he
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ain't any of the ring going to be mine?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The reason he said it was because most of the things we have we have sort
-of in cahoots, the three of us.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh, no, Bony,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;We'd like to have you part own it but you
-ain't got no excuse to. Herb ain't your brother, and Fan ain't your
-sister, like they are mine and Georgie's, are they? You ain't related to
-the ring no way. We wish he was, don't we, Georgie? but he ain't.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, Bony was sort of mad at it, but it wasn't our fault. So then Swatty
-said to me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't going to play with your sister any more.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why ain't you?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Because I ain't,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;If my brother Herb ain't good enough for your
-sister Fan, then I ain't good enough to play with Lucy. And I won't.&rdquo;
- Well, I knew what he meant, even if he didn't say it out in words. He
-meant that he had been having Lucy for his secret girl, like I wanted to
-have Mamie Little for mine, and now he wasn't going to have her any more
-because Fan had been mean to Herb.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I don't blame you,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I wouldn't either.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So none of us said anything for a while. Then all at once Bony said
-something.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say it yourself and see how you like it,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, say!&rdquo; Bony said, getting red in the face and digging into the grass
-with his toe; &ldquo;if&mdash;if you don't want to play with her, can I play
-with her?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He meant with Lucy. He meant could he have Lucy for his girl if Swatty
-didn't want her any more, only he didn't say it right out, of course. So
-Swatty said he could. He said he didn't want her and Bony could have her.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, then&mdash;&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;Well, then, I'd ought to be part owner of
-the ring.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we talked it over and me and Swatty thought that would be all right,
-because if Bony wasn't a brother or sister of Herb or Fan he was going to
-have Lucy for his girl and Lucy was my sister and Fan's. So we told Bony
-he was third pardner in the ring.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess Bony felt pretty set up and proud to have a girl that Swatty had
-had, when he had never had any girl before. Right away he began to get mad
-when we said Lucy was his girl, and that's a good sign, because that's the
-way fellows feel.
-</p>
-<p>
-But girls don't feel that way when they Have fellows. Right away they
-begin to wiggle their skirts when they walk, and want their mothers to
-curl their hair every day, and put fresh hair-bows on them. So they start
-right in saying how they hate the fellow that's their fellow; but they
-take slate pencils and apples and things from him when he gives them on
-the sly, and they begin writing notes to him in school, like &ldquo;Don't you
-think you 're smart with your new shoes on,&rdquo; and things like that. So he
-feels pretty good after all, and gives her apples when nobody is looking,
-and pushes her around mean-like when anybody does look.
-</p>
-<p>
-But she don't mind being pushed around, because that's one way she knows
-he's her fellow. So, when there is a party, she is the one he drops a
-pillow before, and if she don't kiss him, all right for her! But mostly
-she does. She lets on that she hates it, but she don't. She likes it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess one reason Swatty was glad to get rid of Lucy was because
-Swatty didn't care for kissing games anyway, and it wasn't much fun for
-him to have a girl, because nobody hardly dared yell at him:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;Swatty! Swatty! Swatty!
-Lucy she is your girl!&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-He was too good a fighter. And half the fun of having a girl is getting
-mad because they yell it at you. And, anyway, Swatty was sort of rough to
-have Lucy for his girl, and she didn't like to have him for a fellow very
-much. As soon as school was out Swatty would begin clod fighting with the
-Graveyard Gang, or make a bee-line for the baseball lot, or get up a good
-fight. He never wanted to sort of walk on the edge of the sidewalk when
-the girls were walking on the middle of it, and cut up funny to make them
-look and giggle. It was boys he liked to push around, and not girls.
-</p>
-<p>
-One reason Lucy didn't care much to have him for her fellow was because
-his father and mother were German, and none of the girls like a Dutchy for
-a fellow, because lots of Dutchies worked in the sawmills and couldn't
-talk good English. But Swatty's father didn't work in a sawmill; he was a
-tailor. But he was a Dutchy just the same, and when the fellows got mad at
-Swatty sometimes they would yell:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;Dutchy! Dutchy!
-Stuffed with straw
-Can't say nothing but
-'Yaw! yaw! yaw!'&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-Well, when I had time to think it over I thought it was funny that Swatty
-had let Bony have a third partnership in the engagement ring as easy as he
-had. And then one day I found out why it was. It shows how slick Swatty
-was to keep a secret or anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-The vacation before the time I'm telling about&mdash;which was almost
-vacation time again&mdash;there was a new girl came to Riverbank. She
-lived in a little house across Main Street that had a picket fence and a
-yard that ran mostly down the gully toward Front Street, and the first I
-knew about her was one day when I had to go down town on an errand and
-went past her house.
-</p>
-<p>
-I had on some new shoes, so I knew everybody would see them and be
-thinking of them, and I felt pretty mean; and when I went by the little
-house the girl was behind the picket fence, looking out. So I made a face
-at her, because it was none of her business if I did have on new shoes.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was summer, of course, and hot; but the girl had on a woolen dress&mdash;red
-and black checks&mdash;and it fitted her pretty tight all over, and was
-too short and little, so that it was tight like skin, and her wrists stuck
-out too far. She was barefoot, too, and that was funny, because girls
-don't go barefoot. It was as funny to see her barefoot as to see me with
-shoes on.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was going to yell something at her, but I didn't, I only made a face at
-her. But she didn't make one back at me. She just looked.
-</p>
-<p>
-She wasn't like any girl in Riverbank that I ever saw. She was brown&mdash;almost
-like an Indian&mdash;but she had reddish cheeks, and her hair was as black
-as tar and cut short, like a boy's, only it was banged in front, and her
-bangs were so long they came down to her eyes, and were cut as straight as
-a string.
-</p>
-<p>
-She stood behind the picket fence and just looked at me, and I didn't like
-it. Her eyes were like big black marbles and her mouth like a painted red.
-So I whistled and looked the other way and the first thing I knew she was
-out of the gate and after me. I tried to run, but she cornered me and took
-me by the hair and jerked me back and forth. I thought she was going to
-jerk my head off. So I pulled loose and ran, because no girl can jerk me
-around by the hair like that. So all she got for her smarty business was
-just a handful of hair or two. And who cares for a handful of hair?
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, you bet I got even with her, all right! I never went past her house
-alone after that.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that's the way she was. She stayed in her yard, and when a boy came
-along she would jump out and grab him by the hair, or slap him, and chase
-him away from in front of her house. She was a tartar, all right. She was
-like a spider that is always waiting and comes out and grabs flies; only
-what she grabbed wasn't flies&mdash;it was boys. So we all got afraid of
-her, and we didn't dast go past her house unless we were two or three
-together. And then we generally went round some other way. Except Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-Because one day Swatty he went past her house, and she come out and was
-going to pull his hair, like she did the rest of us; and when she came at
-him he backed up against the fence, and when she reached out for his hair
-he hit her hand away with one hand and slapped her on the face good and
-plenty. He slapped her two or three times and dared her to touch him. So
-she didn't say anything, and Swatty didn't say anything, and they just
-stood there.
-</p>
-<p>
-And pretty soon Swatty went on downtown. So she just stood there.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, me and Bony used to play with girls sometimes because they let us be
-the husbands and fathers, and boss them around and whip the children. So
-when we did Swatty used to come along. Mostly he would sit and whittle
-until me and Bony got through, but sometimes he would be the policeman to
-arrest the husbands when they got drunk, or a pirate, or an Indian lurking
-to scalp the wives, or a 'rangatang to carry the children off.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess the girls wished he wouldn't come, because a 'rangatang is such an
-interruption to plain housekeeping, and pirates and policemen are an awful
-nuisance to mothers who want to bring up a peaceful family and don't want
-their husbands taken to jail just when the mud pies are cooked and dinner
-is ready. But they couldn't help it, because if they didn't let him me and
-Bony would go where Swatty went.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, one time when teacher kept Swatty in school to have the principal
-lick him, she went out to get the principal and locked Swatty in the room,
-and he climbed out of the window onto a maple tree branch and got away. So
-the principal licked him the next day. Anyway, the trees darkened the room
-all up, so they had the janitor cut down the two trees and they fell down
-the bank back of the schoolhouse.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that day the leaves were only beginning to wither, and the branches of
-the trees made a bully place to play in. So Mamie Little and my sister and
-me and Bony went right out there after dinner and played house; and when
-Swatty had been licked, or whatever he had been kept in for, he came there
-too. We made houses among the branches and leaves, and were fathers and
-mothers; and Swatty had a lair and was a 'rangatang, and hung by his knees
-and swang from branch to branch.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was pretty good fun, even if it was playing with girls, because it was
-a jungle, and me and Bony hunted the wild 'rangatang between meals; and we
-were playing along all right when I saw my sister standing and looking. I
-guess you know how a girl stands and looks&mdash;the way a cow does&mdash;when
-she don't like something. So I looked, and out in the street was the girl
-in the red and black check woolen dress. She was just standing and looking
-back at my sister. It made my sister mighty mad. I guess girls can look
-the things boys generally holler at each other. So my sister said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Bony, I don't want that girl to look at me!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Bony looked, and when he saw who was looking he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! let her look! Let her look, if she wants to. She ain't hurting
-anybody!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then my sister got awful mad. She stamped her foot.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I <i>won't</i> let her look at me that way.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So she started on a run for the girl. She didn't get quite up to her.
-Before she got quite to her, the girl sort of flashed up to my sister.
-That was about all I could see. The next I saw, she was standing just
-where she had always been, and my sister was flopped down on the ground
-with her arms over her head, yelling bloody murder. So I jumped out of the
-tree and ran up to my sister. Her face was all scratched up. There were
-four long scratches on each side of her face where the girl had raked her
-with her claws. So Mamie Little came running too, and helped my sister up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If I was a boy,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I wouldn't let anybody do that to my sister
-unless I was a 'fraid-cat.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! who's a 'fraid-cat?&rdquo; I said. I wasn't no more 'fraid-cat than she
-was, but I guess J knew that girl.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Mamie Little took my sister by the arm. &ldquo;Come on,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I guess
-everybody around here is a 'fraid-cat. You and me will be mad at them and
-stay mad for ever and ever!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I had to go. I wasn't going to hit the girl. I just thought I'd sort of
-push her away&mdash;only maybe a little rough&mdash;until I pushed her
-inside her gate, so I could show a smarty like Mamie Little who was a
-'fraid-cat and who wasn't. I walked over to where the girl was, and she
-waited for me. All I had time to see was the girl's eyes turning to
-something like prickly black fire, and something plumped against me like a
-bag of flour shot out of a sling. It was as if her body hit against me
-everywhere at once. And then something grabbed my hair and yanked me, and
-I felt scratches burning on my face, and, somehow, I was on the ground,
-yelling and holding my arms above my head. The girl was standing where she
-had always been. I heard Mamie Little and my sister yelling:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Scratch-Cat! Scratch-Cat!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Swatty came on the run. He was pretty mad, because him and me was chums,
-and I was his cow-cousin and his double Dutch uncle, and he ran right past
-me and up to the girl. He gave her a push with his hand, and it sort of
-pushed her around; but she straightened up again and just looked at him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You scratch-cat!&rdquo; he said, as mean as he knew how. &ldquo;Who are you
-scratching around here, I'd like to know?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I thought she'd jump on him and claw him, like she did me; but she didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't going to hurt you,&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You bet you ain't!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;'Cause why? 'Cause you darsent, that's
-why!&rdquo; Only he said, &ldquo;'Cors why?&rdquo; like he always does.
-</p>
-<p>
-She didn't say she did dare, and she didn't say she didn't dare. She said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come over in my yard and play with me. Don't you play with them. I can
-play good.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Swatty pushed her again, and she stepped back a step.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Don't you play with girls!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;You come and play with me.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! you're a girl too,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Go awrn home and play with
-yourself.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he gave her another push. She looked as if she hadn't ever thought that
-she was a girl before. She said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I can beat you running. I can beat you jumping. I can beat you climbing
-trees. I can beat you skinning the cat. I can chin myself ten times more
-than you can. I can stand on my head longer than you can.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Go awrn home!&rdquo; Swatty said, and gave her another shove.
-</p>
-<p>
-She stepped back again.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on and play in my yard,&rdquo; she said again. &ldquo;I can throw you any hold
-you want. I can fight you and lick you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Becors you're a scratch-cat,&rdquo; Swatty said, and pushed her again.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I can lick you without scratching,&rdquo; the girl said. &ldquo;Well, then, do it!&rdquo;
- said Swatty. &ldquo;Go on and do it, why don't you? I want to see you do it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So each time he said it he gave her a push.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I won't!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I ain't going to fight you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You darsent!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't going to!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You don't dare!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't going to!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So every time Swatty said anything he shoved her again, and pretty soon he
-had her pushed clear back against the fence of her yard, and he left her
-there and came back. We went on playing. But every once in a while we
-thought of her, and when we looked she was standing just where Swatty had
-left her.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we found out her name was Dell Brown, because my father went to
-speak to her father about the way she scratched my sister. Her father's
-name was Reverend Brown; but he had adopted her because her folks died,
-and she was a sore trial, but no doubt willed by the Almighty. The
-Reverend Brown was a sort of preacher, and had an old white horse and
-drove around the country and preached wherever he thought they needed
-preaching. Mrs. Brown was a sort of invalid and old, like Reverend Brown
-was, and he was almost too old to adopt Dell Brown for his daughter. He
-had ought to have adopted her for his granddaughter when he was adopting.
-</p>
-<p>
-So he said he would pray about it, and Mrs. Brown said she couldn't
-understand Dell Brown, hardly, why she had the fighting streak in her,
-because at home she was all love and affection to Mrs. Brown, and a word
-made the child weep. I guess Dell Brown had just so much fight in her and
-had to get it fought out. I guess she thought it was better to go out and
-fight than to fight Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Maybe she was sort of fond of them
-because they were funny and old and had adopted her. I guess she was like
-George Washington: she was good and nice, but she liked to fight.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, after while school started again. I kind of hated to go, because I
-always hate to, but more because I thought Dell Brown would go to school.
-So she did, and the first time she got me alone she took me by the hair
-and walloped me good. I hadn't done nothing to her, except maybe yell
-&ldquo;Scratch-Cat!&rdquo; at her sometimes when I was far enough away. So after that
-I didn't go to school very early, but kind of hung around until Dell Brown
-went in, and then I went in. I never told on her. If she says I did she
-tells what ain't so. It was Toady Williams.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty was kept in that day, like we 'most always were, and Bony
-was waiting outside. So Miss Murphy thought it wasn't any use talking to
-Dell Brown any more; it was time to rawhide her. She got the rawhide out
-of the closet, and told Dell Brown to come to the back of the room, and
-Dell Brown went. Miss Murphy put one hand on Dell Brown's shoulder, and
-lifted up the whip to switch her across the legs, and the next thing she
-did was to let out a scream, and you couldn't have believed her dress
-could be tom so in just a second if you hadn't seen it. Her hands were
-beginning to get red in streaks where Dell Brown had scratched them. So
-Dell Brown just threw Miss Murphy's hair switch on a desk, and stood there
-with her chest swelling in and out under her red and black checked dress,
-and Miss Murphy backed away and began winding her switch on her head
-again.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Miss Murphy got her hair on, she went out and locked the door and got
-Professor Martin, the principal, who is her beau. He came in, and he was
-pretty mad. He grabbed Dell Brown and gave her a shake, and she flew at
-him like a cat and scratched him across the face. He slung her around, and
-she hit a desk and fell on the floor. It made her cry, and Professor
-Martin was scared of what he had done and went to pick her up. But when he
-stooped she clawed at him and scratched his other cheek, and he left her
-alone and told her to get up and go home, because she was expelled from
-school.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Dell Brown got up, and held her hand to her side, and went and got her
-books and went home. But there was only one rib broke, and I guess it
-healed all right, because she was young and tough. But nobody whipped any
-more girls in school. I guess they thought it was safer to whip boys. They
-are more used to it, and their ribs ain't so brittle. Or maybe the school
-board stopped it. Professor Martin almost got fired because he had broken
-a rib for Scratch-Cat and he would of been fired only Scratch-Cat was such
-a ruffian, everybody said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, of course the expelling didn't take, and Dell Brown came back after
-while, when Miss Murphy went away and Miss Carter came. She didn't fight
-much, because her rib was brittle yet, but she was cross all the time. It
-looked like she hated everybody and everybody hated her.
-</p>
-<p>
-But one day Miss Carter was walking down the aisle and she had some
-flowers pinned on, and one dropped in the aisle, and Dell Brown picked it
-up and put it in a book. She used to open the book and look at the flower.
-She used to sit and look at Miss Carter, and you couldn't tell whether she
-was mad at her or not, because her face was so dark and her bangs so long
-that she always looked scowly. But I guess she wasn't mad, I guess she
-wanted Miss Carter to like her, but didn't know how to make her.
-</p>
-<p>
-None of the girls played with Scratch-Cat because she scratched; and none
-of the boys played with her either, because they were afraid of her. As
-soon as school was out she would go home and play in her own yard. I guess
-she was pretty lonely.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was how it was up to the time I'm telling about, just before
-school closed, in June, and the weather was bully and warm. It made you
-want to do things. So on Saturday me and Swatty and Bony was sitting in my
-barn and talking about what we would do that afternoon. We thought of a
-lot of things, and said them, but, every time, Swatty said: &ldquo;Aw! no, let's
-don't!&rdquo; So we didn't. So then I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll tell you what!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Pshaw, no!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It ain't no use. We couldn't get any. It ain't time
-for them yet.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! what are you talking about?&rdquo; Swatty asked. &ldquo;What ain't it time for?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Water-lilies,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;If it was time for waterlilies we could row up to
-the water-lily pond and get some water-lilies.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty he talked up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, we could row up the river anyway, couldn't we?&rdquo; he said&mdash;only
-he said &ldquo;rowr&rdquo; instead of &ldquo;row,&rdquo; like he always does. &ldquo;We could rowr up
-the river and get some pond-lily roots and sell them.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! who would buy old pond-lily roots?&rdquo; Bony wanted to know.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I thought at first that the reason Swatty said we could sell
-pond-lily roots was because once I had told him about a man or somebody
-who had made money getting pond-lily roots and selling them to people who
-wanted to raise pond-lilies in a tub in their gardens. But that was n't
-why he said it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, garsh! plenty of people would want to buy them,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;I
-guess I ought to know. I guess I've got an uncle in Derlingport, ain't I?
-I guess he ought to know about pond-lily roots, oughtn't he?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-It looked like that ought to be so, because Derlingport is three times as
-big as Riverbank, and Swatty's uncle was older than any of us. But Bony
-said: &ldquo;Aw! what does your old uncle know about pond-lily roots, anyway?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess he knows plenty about them,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;I guess if you went up
-to Derlingport to visit him you'd see whether he knows anything about them
-or not! I bet my uncle is the richest man in Derlingport, and the reason
-he is is because once, when I was out pond-lilying, I sent him a pond-lily
-root and he grew it in a tub, and when folks saw it they wanted to grow
-some too. So my uncle he rowred up the river to a pond-lily pond, and he
-got some roots and sold them. First orff he only got a few and sold them;
-but pretty soon he had a hundred men getting pond-lily roots for him, and
-he had to build a pond-lily root elevator, like the grain elevator down on
-the levee, but ten times bigger.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Gee-my-nentily!&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;Ten times bigger! Gee!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ho! that ain't nothing!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;That was when he was just
-beginning to start out. He's got ten of them elevators now, and&mdash;he's
-got almost ten trillion-billion pond-lily roots in them. He's got a
-railway switch and a steamboat dock to each elevator, and when he ships
-pond-lily roots he ships them by the trainload. Only, when he sells them
-in Dubuque or Keorkuk, he ships them by the boatload.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Gee-my-nentily!&rdquo; said Bony again. &ldquo;Come on! Let's&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I guess so!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;I guess it's no wonder he's the richest
-man in Derlingport! And I can just go and visit him any time I want to. I
-can go visit him and take a bath right in his china bathtub.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! go on!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;He ain't got a china bathtub!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, sir! just like a tea-cup.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Gosh!&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;Did you take a bath in it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh, no!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;Do you think I'd go taking bath-tub baths when
-I didn't have to? When I visit him my uncle lets me do just what I want
-to. I don't have to wash my feet, or take a bath, or go for a cow, or
-fetch in wood&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who fetches in the wood?&rdquo; Bony asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Nobody,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;My uncle don't burn sawmill slabs or cord wood. He
-burns coal.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, somebody has to fetch in the coal, don't he?&rdquo; I wanted to know.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I guess not!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;He&mdash;he has a&mdash;a bridge built
-right over the top of his house, so he can run a railroad over it, and he
-has a big iron box on top of his house under the bridge, and the railroad
-hawrls the cars of coal right up on top of the roof and dumps the coal
-into the iron box, and it runs down the chimbleys right into the stove.&rdquo;
- Well, me and Bony didn't say nothing. We just sat there and thought what
-we thought.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And he's got a road scooped out under his house for a railroad to run
-on,&rdquo; Swatty said, &ldquo;and there is a train of cars under the house, and when
-my uncle, or anybody, shakes the grate the ashes fall right down an iron
-pipe into the cars.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Come on! Let's go somewhere.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Swatty looked at me; but I hadn't said he was a liar or anything, so
-there was nothing to fight about. If I had wanted to I could have said I
-had an uncle somewhere that didn't bother with dirty old coal and ashes at
-all, but had his own natural gas well and used natural gas; but my nose
-was sore yet from the last time Swatty had pushed it into my face, so I
-didn't say it.
-</p>
-<p>
-We went down to the boat-house and hired a skiff and rowed up the river to
-the pond-lily pond. The river was pretty low and it was muddy on the bank
-of the river&mdash;over knee-deep in mud. Swatty got out over the bow of
-the skiff to pull it up on the mud, so the wash from any steamboat would
-n't send it adrift, and he went in over the knees of his pants, so we
-thought we had better undress in the skiff, and we did. It felt bully to
-be undressed outdoors again.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess you know how the lily-pond is. On one side is the railroad and on
-the other side is the river; but between the pond and the river is narrow
-sand, with willows on it&mdash;bush willows. It makes a bank all around
-the lower end of the pond-lily pond and ends at the railroad. So me and
-Bony and Swatty talked it over, and thought we'd better not leave our
-clothes in the skiff, because somebody might steal them. First we thought
-we'd hide them in the willows, and then we thought we'd carry them around
-by the sand spit to the railroad, because the pond-lily roots were over by
-the railroad more. So we did. We walked around to the railroad and left
-our clothes there, and waded in. Swatty went first.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was pretty tough. You went into the mud pretty deep, and there were
-plants that had scratch-els on them, and the lily plants and the
-arrow-leaf plants were so thick you could hardly wade. They were all
-around the shore for two or three rods, and you couldn't see over them.
-They rustled like corn when we pushed through them. But we knew there was
-a big clear place in the middle of the pond, so we waded on out to it. It
-was the place where I learned to swim. It wasn't over head anywhere.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty came to the open place first, and he stopped and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There's somebody out there.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Me and Bony peeked, and there was. Right off we saw who it was&mdash;it
-was Scratch-Cat. She was in where the water was under-arm deep, and she
-was sort of crying, she was so mad. Then we saw what she was trying to do&mdash;she
-was trying to learn herself to swim. It was enough to make anybody laugh.
-</p>
-<p>
-It looked like she had been at it a long time, for she was so cold she was
-shivering. We were near enough to her to see that the black spot on her
-arm was a mole and not a leaf or a vaccination, and we could see her
-shiver as plain as could be. The way she was learning herself to swim was
-this: she put her hands out in front of her and sort of jumped off her
-feet and then kicked and pounded the water and went down under. I guess
-you know how that feels. You can't get your head above water when you are
-that deep unless you stand up; so you paw in the mud, and get scared
-because you can't get to your feet. Dell Brown would come up scared to
-death, and spit and blow, and sort of cry, and shiver, and then she would
-do it all again.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess it was pretty tough. Every time she went down she must have got
-scratched up by the weeds with scratchels on them&mdash;some kind of
-smartweed&mdash;and she was scared and chilly. It was mighty funny. I
-guess I laughed out aloud.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anyway, all at once she saw Swatty and us. She ducked like a shot, until
-only her head was out of water, and me and Bony laughed. But Swatty
-didn't. He pushed me and Bony back and said: &ldquo;Hey! Scratch-Cat! Wait; I'll
-show you how to swim.&rdquo; Only, he said, &ldquo;I'll showr you how to swim,&rdquo; the
-way he always says &ldquo;show.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he slid his hands out on the water and turned on his side and swam
-towards where she was. He didn't mean nothing. All he meant was to show
-her how to swim, because she would never learn the way she was trying. But
-Scratch-Cat turned and held her arms straight out in front of her and
-hurried for the shore, pushing the weeds away with her hands.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty kept telling her to wait, and once he came up to her, and she
-turned and hammered him with her fists, crazy mad, and he let her go on.
-The weeds must have scratched her pretty bad, ripping through them that
-way; but she got to the railway track and began putting her clothes on
-fast. So Swatty said: &ldquo;Garsh! I bet she gets our clothes and hides them or
-something!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So me and Swatty and Bony hurried to where our clothes were and dressed.
-We got most of our duds on and were putting on the rest, when we heard
-somebody yelling. It was a woman, and she was over on the river road,
-across a cornfield from where we were, and she was yelling like she was
-being murdered. I was mighty scared. All I thought of was that whoever was
-murdering her would murder her and then come over and murder us.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess Bony thought the same thing, for he got white and started to run
-down the railway bank toward our skiff. So I started after him. But Swatty
-he started to run the other way, down the bank to the cornfield, towards
-where the woman was screaming. He rolled under the bob-wire fence and
-started down between the com rows as hard as he could go. Me and Bony
-stopped and looked, and then we went after him, only slower. When we got
-deep into the com we got more scared. We didn't like to be so far from
-where Swatty was, with a woman screaming like that and being murdered. So
-I hurried up, and Bony came along, blubbering. I told him to shut up.
-</p>
-<p>
-We came to the edge of the cornfield and stopped. It was Miss Carter, our
-teacher, and a tramp had her by the throat, trying to make her stop her
-yelling. And just then Swatty jumped on the tramp. He had a rock, and he
-lammed at the tramp with it and hit him on the arm. So then Miss Carter
-went limp and stopped yelling, and fell in a pile on the road, because the
-tramp let go of her and she fainted.
-</p>
-<p>
-The road was all tramped up and covered with walked-on flowers Miss Carter
-had been getting; but the tramp reached around and grabbed Swatty and got
-him by the neck and began to pound his head. Me and Bony crouched down and
-looked between the boards of the cornfield fence, because we was too
-scared to run away.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty done the best he could, but it wasn't much use. He was getting
-killed, I guess. But all at once Scratch-Cat came a-sailing out of the
-cornfield and lit on the tramp with both hands.
-</p>
-<p>
-When her eight claws came raking down his face he let loose of Swatty and
-grabbed for Scratch-Cat; but she wasn't where he grabbed. She was standing
-away, with her hands clawed and her head sort of pointed at him, ready to
-jump again. So Swatty picked up the rock and slung it, and caught him in
-the back of the neck. He hollered like a bull and turned, and Scratch-Cat
-went at him and raked him on the side of his face. He lammed at her, and I
-guess he caught her on her brittle rib, because she hollered.
-</p>
-<p>
-She didn't care what happened, I guess, when he hit her brittle rib, so
-she went right at him, and Swatty made a dive for his legs and got a hold
-on them. The tramp fought good and hard. He went down, but he kept on
-fighting; and Swatty hollered for me to get a rock and whack the tramp on
-the head with it. Maybe I would have. I don't know. Just then a top buggy
-came around the bend of the road, and the tramp showed all he was worth
-and beat off Swatty and Scratch-Cat and cut into the woods. We heard him
-cracking the brush as he scooted, and that was all we knew about him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the man in the top buggy was Herb Schwartz. So he got out and picked
-up Miss Carter and fetched her to, and Swatty told him what had happened.
-So Herb went to where Scratch-Cat was sitting on the side of the road,
-with her hand where her brittle rib had busted. So Swatty went over there
-too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! I'd of been killed if you hadn't come!&rdquo; he said. But she stood up
-and looked at him.
-</p>
-<p>
-'"What'd you come swimming at me when I was naked for?&rdquo; she said, and she
-was as mad as hops. I guess her rib hurt her and made her sort of crazy
-mad, and Swatty was the first one that came near her, so she picked on
-him. &ldquo;Why'd you dare?&rdquo; she screeched at him. &ldquo;I'll show you not to!&rdquo;&mdash;or
-something like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-So she went for him. She didn't scratch, either; she used her fists. She
-fought like crazy, and got her leg back of his, and threw him and piled on
-top of him. He had to fight as hard as he knew how to, and it was all
-right, because she wasn't a girl&mdash;she was something crazy mad. It was
-a quick fight and a good one, and then Herb Schwartz grabbed Scratch-Cat
-by the shoulder and pulled her off Swatty; but that didn't matter, because
-the fight was over anyhow. Swatty had said: &ldquo;Enough! I won't do it again!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, as soon as Herb had stood Scratch-Cat up, she turned white and fell
-down. She had fainted. It was a good deal of a mess-up. Miss Carter had
-got hysterical, and was laughing and crying so she couldn't put her hair
-up where it had fell down, and Scratch-Cat was stretched out fainted, and
-I guess Herb Schwartz was never so busy in his life before. He sent me and
-Bony and Swatty over to the pond-lily pond for a hatful of water, and
-while we were gone he hugged Miss Carter until she wasn't hysterical,
-because I guess that was what she needed to cure her, and then he soused
-Scratch-Cat with the water and she came around all right. So he took Miss
-Carter and Scratch-Cat back to town in the top buggy, and me and Swatty
-and Bony went back to our skiff and rowed home.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty was pretty quiet. I guess he thought Herb and Miss Carter would
-tell all over town how he had been licked by a girl; but he told me and
-Bony he would kill us if we told it, so we didn't. But neither did Herb or
-Miss Carter. The reason was that Scratch-Cat told them not to tell she had
-been fighting. Herb told Swatty that Scratch-Cat had asked them not to.
-</p>
-<p>
-After a while Scratch-Cat's brittle rib healed up again and she didn't
-have to stay in bed, and I was going down-town on an errand past her
-house, and I saw Swatty in her yard. They were playing mum-bledy-peg. So
-after that she played with me and Bony and Swatty, and pretty soon with
-Mamie Little and my sister and the other girls, and she was almost the one
-they liked best.
-</p>
-<p>
-So one day Swatty said to me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Don't you ever darst yell at me that Scratch-Cat is my girl!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! I never yelled it!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You better not!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Because she ain't.&rdquo; So then I knew she was.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-VI. THE CARDINAL'S SIGNET RING
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, for about a day I guess Bony thought he was about the smartest kid
-that ever lived. Anyhow, he acted that way and the reason was that his
-house had been burglared and mine and Swatty's houses hadn't been. But
-that wasn't our fault.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty didn't say much because he thought maybe the burglar would come
-around and burglar his house and then he would be as good as Bony. But the
-burglar didn't go to any more houses, and me and Swatty got pretty sick
-and tired of hearing Bony bragging about the burglar climbing right in at
-his window and almost falling over his bed, and about how&mdash;if he had
-wakened up&mdash;he would have gone into his father's room and got his
-father's shotgun and shot the burglar.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got pretty sick of hearing about the reward Bony's father had offered,
-and about how the policemen came to the house and looked at Bony's bedroom
-window and everything and wrote it all down.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; Swatty said; &ldquo;it ain't nothing to brag about to be burglared! The
-way you talk you'd think nobody in the world could be burglared but you.
-If I wanted to I could write to my uncle in Derlingport and he'd send down
-a burglar to burglar my house in a minute. And he'd burglar Georgie's
-house, too. And my uncle would send down a real burglar, too.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That was a good one on Bony, because the newspaper said the policemen said
-the burglar that bur-glared Bony's house wasn't a real burglar but only
-&ldquo;local talent.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well&mdash;well&mdash;&rdquo; Bony said, &ldquo;well, if your uncle can send down so
-many real burglars, why don't he do it, and not leave you sitting there
-talking about what he can do all the time?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! if you say much more about your old burglar I will write to my uncle
-to send some down,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! and if you did he wouldn't get nothing! What'd he get at your house?
-I bet he wouldn't get any cardinal's signet ring.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess that made Swatty pretty mad. I guess we had heard about all
-we wanted to hear about that old signet ring, so Swatty started to go
-away, and he said to me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on! he thinks there ain't nothing in the world but that old signet
-ring. I bet it was brass, anyway.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But the cardinal's signet ring wasn't brass, because it said in the
-newspaper it was gold.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess I knew plenty about that signet ring before the burglar ever got
-it, because once Bony told us about it when we were at his house and he
-would have showed it to us, only his mother would not let him.
-</p>
-<p>
-It had been in the family from generation unto generation. So when Bony's
-mother would not let us see it because her hands were in the dough and
-boys are too careless, Bony told us what it was like and said he guessed
-it was worth a million dollars, or maybe a hundred, anyway, because it was
-solid gold and had a red, carved stone in it, and the cardinal had given
-it to his son, and he had given it to his son, and it had always been in
-the family. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! 't ain't so! Because cardinals couldn't give anything to their sons;
-they don't have any sons to give anything to.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, this cardinal gave this ring to his son, so he did,&rdquo; Bony said.
-&ldquo;This cardinal had a son.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, he didn't!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I guess I know about cardinals. They don't have
-any sons. They can't have sons. That's the law.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, Bony didn't know what to say, because he knew I was right, because I
-read a lot of books and he don't. So, if it hadn't been for Swatty I don't
-know what we would have done about it. I guess me and Bony would have been
-mad at each other forever, or had a fight or something, but Swatty had
-just been listening and spoke up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw!&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;that ain't nothing to fight about. The cardinal's signet
-ring could be an heirloom from generation to generation and the cardinal
-needn't have any son either. He could give it to his grandson, couldn't
-he?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Of course he could!&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;That's what he did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Sure he did!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;That's how all cardinals do. When they want
-to start an heirloom going they look around for a son to give it to, and
-when they haven't any sons they give the heirloom to their grandsons.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, the burglary was about Monday of the last week of school, and about
-Tuesday we were sick and tired of it&mdash;me and Swatty was&mdash;but we
-didn't know how to shut Bony up, because we couldn't have burglars come to
-our houses just because we wished they would. So Tuesday after school when
-I went home my sister Fan was out in the side yard, where the vines grow
-on the porch, and she was down on her hands and knees.
-</p>
-<p>
-Fan had been looking pretty sick for a good while and it was because Herb
-had gone back on her, or her on him. I felt mighty sorry for her, even if
-she was my sister, and mother said she was worried and that the only thing
-to cheer Fan up would be to send her somewhere, far from the scene. So Fan
-had said she would go.
-</p>
-<p>
-So there she was on her knees in the grass and when she saw me she said,
-&ldquo;Georgie!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Georgie,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I lost a ring here&mdash;one with just one diamond
-in it&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know. The ring Herb gave you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes. If you find it for me, George,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I'll give you&mdash;I'll
-give you ten dollars.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I tried to divide three into ten, and you can't do it, so I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Maybe I can find it for fifteen dollars,&rdquo; because that would be five
-dollars apiece for me and Swatty and Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-Fan looked at me, and then said, &ldquo;Very well, find it if you can, please.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-And that wasn't like Fan, because what she would mostly say, would be,
-&ldquo;You little imp, you know where that ring is! You get it this instant or
-father will attend to you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I knew she was pretty sick about Herb.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, as soon as Fan said that I skipped out the back way, over to
-Swatty's, and asked him for the ring, because we had had it in
-pardnership, and I had let him have it awhile. I told him what I wanted it
-for and he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't got it. I thought you or Bony had it; I gave it to Bony.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we went over to Bony's house, and the minute we said &ldquo;ring&rdquo; he was
-scared stiff. &ldquo;It was stole,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;The burglar stole it out of my
-pants pocket, but I didn't say nothing because I guessed the police would
-get it back again.&rdquo; So that was a nice one, wasn't it? So me and Swatty
-were mad at Bony and we wouldn't talk to him or let him play with us
-unless we got the ring back, and none of the policemen caught Bony's
-burglar. Bony's father printed a reward of fifty dollars in the newspaper,
-but my father said that whoever caught the burglar would n't be half as
-lucky if he caught him as he would if he ever got fifty dollars out of
-Bony's father, because my father would be blessed if he believed Bony's
-father had ever seen fifty dollars at one time. So maybe the policemen
-knew that. Anyway, they did not catch the burglar. I guess folks thought
-he would never be caught, and he never would have been if it hadn't been
-for me and Swatty and Mamie Little. I guess he would never have been
-caught if Mamie Little had known how to spell &ldquo;sulphur.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The burglar got plenty of other things from Bony's house, too, but the
-signet ring is the thing I'm telling about because it was the signet ring
-that helped Swatty to catch the burglar. That and Mamie Little, only Mamie
-Little didn't know she helped until I told her, and then she didn't
-understand any better than she did about the sulphur bag. I guess nobody
-will know unless I tell it. So I'll tell it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Thursday afternoon I went past Mamie Little's yard about five o'clock and
-she was trying to fix up a couple of old boxes to make a playhouse and I
-leaned on the fence and was glad I was there, because nobody else was
-there to see me. So I said: &ldquo;Aw! that's no way to make a playhouse out of
-boxes!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, dear!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I know it ain't. I want this one on top of the
-other one but I can't lift it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I bet I could lift it!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know you could,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Boys are stronger than girls.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If you don't tell anybody,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I'll come in and lift it for you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I went in and lifted it, and she was glad. She said it made a dandy
-upstairs for her playhouse, and she said boys were fine, because they were
-so strong. So I felt pretty good. So she took a hammer and began to nail
-some nails, to make shelves and things, and I told her girls didn't know
-how to nail, and she said she knew they didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I took the hammer, and just then I saw Swatty coming. So I threw down
-the hammer mighty quick and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I got to go now. My mother wants me, but if you want me to I'll come over
-Saturday and we'll fix up the playhouse nice.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So she did want me to; and I said I'd come and I felt gladder than I had
-ever felt before, and I dodged behind the lilac bushes and got out of her
-yard the back way, and Swatty did not see me. So that was all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess there was diphtheria or scarlet fever or something in town
-then and, anyway, my mother and lots of the kids' mothers made us wear
-sulphur bags. That was so we wouldn't catch it, whatever it was. They were
-little bags about as big as a watch, and there was sulphur in them and
-aseophidity, or asophedeta, or asofiditty, or whatever you spell it.
-</p>
-<p>
-It smells pretty rank but it keeps away whatever you might catch.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, going to school Swatty met me and he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say, let's go fishing down the Slough, tomorrow.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I can't, Swatty,&rdquo; I said, because I wanted to do what I had said I would
-do for Mamie Little, only I didn't want to tell Swatty that, so I said:
-&ldquo;I've got to stay home and work.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Pshaw!&rdquo; Swatty said, only he said it &ldquo;Pshawr!&rdquo; like he always does. &ldquo;If
-you can't go I won't go, either! If you can't go I'm going to stay home
-and split the wood I ought to split.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I can't go,&rdquo; I said. So we went into the schoolhouse and into our
-room. Mamie Little was there. She had just hung up her hat and she was
-standing by her desk, nearly across the room, and she looked fine, her
-cheeks were so red and her eyes were kind of sparkly. There were only one
-or two there besides us.
-</p>
-<p>
-So, while she was standing by her desk she sort of picked at her dress on
-her chest a couple of times the way I had been picking at my shirt front,
-and I was glad to think she had a sulphur bag, too, like I had. It was
-nice to think we both had the same, only she didn't know I had one.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I whistled a little whistle&mdash;&ldquo;Wheet!&rdquo;&mdash;and she looked at me.
-I guess she smiled at me. I felt mighty brave. So I started with the
-deaf-and-dumb alphabet, pointing at my eye for &ldquo;I,&rdquo; and rubbing my hands
-across each other for &ldquo;h&rdquo; and I spelled out &ldquo;I have a&rdquo; and she nodded her
-head at each word to show she knew what I was spelling. So I spelled out
-&ldquo;sulphur,&rdquo; because what I wanted to tell her was &ldquo;I have a sulphur bag,
-too,&rdquo; but when I got to &ldquo;sulph&rdquo; she shook her head and I had to begin
-again, because she couldn't understand.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was standing up and she was standing up and she was standing so she
-looked right at me, and I spelled and spelled. Sometimes I began at the
-beginning and spelled &ldquo;I have sulph&rdquo; and sometimes I spelled &ldquo;sulphur&rdquo;
- over and over, but she just shook her head each time and smiled and
-waited. She was awfully interested, and more and more scholars came in,
-and pretty soon they were all watching me and trying to spell what I was
-spelling, but nobody did, I guess. Mamie Little got awfully interested and
-she was mighty eager to find out what I was trying to spell. Then, all at
-once, I knew why she couldn't tell; it was because she didn't have any
-sulphur bag on. So, all at once, I felt mighty cheap! There she was,
-thinking I had something awfully important I was trying to tell her, and
-she didn't have a sulphur bag, and I was making a fool of her before the
-whole school, because what would she think of me telling her I had a
-sulphur bag if she didn't have one? And making such a fuss about it, as if
-it was something wonderful like telling her her father was dead, or
-something.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then, all of sudden, I remembered I was going to her yard the next day, to
-help her with her playhouse, and I felt worse than ever. The first thing
-she would want to know would be what I had tried to spell out, and if I
-told her she would think I was crazy to make so much fuss about such a
-thing, and if I did not tell her she would be mad at me forever and maybe
-talk about me to the other girls. I couldn't bear to think about it and I
-couldn't help thinking about it. So, after school, I hurried away as fast
-as I could, and when Swatty caught up with me I told him I had changed my
-mind and that I would go fishing with him. So that is how Mamie Little
-helped catch Bony's burglar. If it hadn't been for Mamie Little not
-knowing how to spell &ldquo;sulphur&rdquo; I wouldn't have gone fishing, and Swatty
-wouldn't have gone either, and the burglar wouldn't have been caught.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Saturday morning I got in enough wood for all day and it wasn't much,
-because it was summer and the kitchen wood was all I had to get in. Then I
-hunted up a new tin can, because when we get through fishing we always
-throw the old one into the Slough, because by that time the worms that are
-left are pretty; bad. Sometimes, if the can has been in the sun, they are
-even worse than that. So I got a new can and went around to the other side
-of the barn and the spade was there yet, from the last time I had dug
-worms, so I dug some more.
-</p>
-<p>
-Just then Swatty came into the yard and he was ready to start. So my
-mother came to the back door with some sandwiches and things in a box, and
-I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! I don't want to carry a big box like that! Aw! I just want a couple
-of sandwiches in my pocket!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Georgie!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;You take this box! You 'll be glad enough of
-everything that's in it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty went up over the hill and down past the Catlic church to
-South Riverbank and we stopped at the pump on the corner and had a good
-drink and cooled off our feet in the mud under the pump spout, because the
-sidewalks were hot.
-</p>
-<p>
-The water in the Slough wasn't high and it wasn't low. Once the Slough ran
-through to the river at this end but now it was all filled in with sawdust
-from the sawmill, and a big conveyor blowpipe kept blowing more sawdust
-into the Slough from the mill, and all the surface of the Slough was
-floating sawdust. Then, a little further along, it was water-lily leaves.
-Then, further along, it was plain Slough for miles and miles and miles.
-</p>
-<p>
-The water was three or four feet down from the top of the bank and the
-bank was covered with pretty good grass, and all along the Slough there
-was a path worn, because kids and fellows had fished in the Slough ever
-since there was a Riverbank, and before that the Indians had fished in it,
-I guess. Everywhere, close to the edge of the bank in the shade of the
-trees, there were places worn smooth-like an old chair seat&mdash;where
-fellows had sat and fished for years and years until they were regular
-fishing places. When you saw one of them you knew it was a good fishing
-place and that there was a bent root, all worn smooth and sometimes almost
-worn in two, part way down the bank, to rest your feet on.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was all quiet and still, like a fishing place should be, except for the
-&ldquo;urr-urr&rdquo; of the mills away off, or the &ldquo;caw caw!&rdquo; of crows or, once in a
-while, somebody knocking the ashes out of a pipe against a root, across
-the Slough or a little splash when somebody caught a fish. Then everything
-would be quiet again.
-</p>
-<p>
-So me and Swatty walked along down the path, because we thought we would
-go as far as we had ever been, or farther, this time. Once we stopped and
-ate 'most all of my lunch. It was nine o'clock but we were mighty hungry.
-Then we went on.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got two or three miles down the Slough and most of the fishing places
-were empty there and I wanted to stop but Swatty said: &ldquo;Aw! come on! Let's
-go on down to the point!&rdquo; so we went.
-</p>
-<p>
-The point wasn't much of a point but you felt more out in the Slough when
-you were on it. There was a big water maple at the end of it, with fine
-roots to sit on, and I sat on some of the roots and fished and Swatty sat
-on some others and fished. It was good and hot and the Slough smelled warm
-and weedy and we liked it, because that was part of the regular fishing
-smell. There was just a little ripple and the corks bobbed up and down
-gently and we set our poles among the roots and just leaned back and felt
-good. Over across the Slough was another point, but more rounded and
-bigger, and it was green and cool looking, with grass and three big elms
-on it, and back in the fields a cow's bell jingled once in a while, and
-the crows cawed, and the sawmill hummed away off in the distance, and it
-got hotter and hotter. I watched my cork until it seemed to lose itself in
-the ripples and my eyes got sleepier and sleepier and, the next thing I
-knew, I woke up and Swatty wasn't there! Neither was my cork!
-</p>
-<p>
-The first thing I did was give my pole a yank and out came a jim-dandy
-goggle-eye sunfish, just about as good as I ever caught. I held him so the
-stickers wouldn't sting me and got the hook out of him and strung him on a
-piece of twine and I was tying the string to a root so the goggle-eye
-would be in the water when somebody down the Slough a ways hawked,
-clearing the tobacco out of his throat, and I looked around and saw Swatty
-coming back to the point, not making any noise. He held up a finger for me
-to be quiet and then he climbed out onto the roots of the maple and sat
-down.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I caught a dandy goggle-eye, Swatty,&rdquo; I whispered.
-</p>
-<p>
-He leaned over toward me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Don't make any noise!&rdquo; he whispered. &ldquo;Bony is over on that point.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I looked and I saw him. It was pretty far across the Slough and Bony
-couldn't hear us if we whispered.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, he can't hear us, can he?&rdquo; I whispered back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; Swatty said and then he climbed over beside me and sat on a root.
-&ldquo;There's a man down there,&rdquo; he said and he pointed.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I heard him spit.&rdquo; I whispered. I began to feel scary because there was
-n't any use for Swatty to be so whispery unless there was something to
-feel scary at, was there?
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He's got Bony's father's signet ring,&rdquo; Swatty whispered. &ldquo;Anyway, I guess
-he's got it. He's got a ring like what Bony says his father's ring is
-like. He's fishing and he's got the ring on his thumb.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, then I knew what Swatty had done. While I was asleep he had sneaked
-down to see what luck the man was having and he had seen the ring.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Gee!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty sat awhile with his forehead wrinkled and looked at the Slough and
-he was thinking.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I'd like to be the one to get that fifty dollars. I
-wish I knew for certain it is Bony's father's ring. Fifty dollars is a lot
-of money. If I had it I'd put it in the bank.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What bank?&rdquo; I asked him. &ldquo;The Savings Bank or the Riverbank National?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess maybe I'd put half in one and half in the other,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-&ldquo;Then if one bank busted I'd have half left, anyway.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if one did bust maybe you'd get some of your money back,&rdquo; I said.
-&ldquo;My father had money in a bank once and it busted and he got part of it
-back.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's so,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;If I put in twenty-five and the bank busted
-maybe I'd get back fifteen of it. That would be forty dollars I'd have,
-even if the bank did bust. I'd like to have it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we sat there awhile and the crows cawed and the cowbell jingled and it
-was quiet, but we didn't catch any more fish.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If we hadn't got mad at Bony he would be over here,&rdquo; Swatty said after a
-while.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, what if he was?&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, he could sneak up and see if that ring is his father's ring,
-couldn't he?&rdquo; said Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, then,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;why don't you call to him to come over?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-As soon as I said it I knew it wasn't much to say, because it was two or
-three miles back to the end of the Slough and four or six miles Bony would
-have to go to get around to us, and he wouldn't come anyway because he'd
-think maybe we wanted to lick him or something. And if we shouted what we
-wanted him for, the burglar would hear us and would get away from there
-mighty quick.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm going over and get Bony.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;How are you going to get him?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm going to row over,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You stay here and watch that man and
-I'll go over and get Bony.&rdquo; Well, I guessed that if he said he would, he'd
-find some way to row over whether there was a boat or not, because that
-was the way Swatty was. When he wanted to do anything he did it. So I
-looked down the Slough and I could see the end of the man's fishpole
-sticking out over the water and his cork floating and Swatty climbed onto
-the bank and took his fishpole and went up the Slough. He had to go pretty
-far before he found a boat and the boat he found was not much good. It was
-an old flatboat and one end was busted some and it was water-logged.
-Swatty had to stay away up in one end to keep the busted end out of water
-and he paddled the best he could with a piece of fence board. He paddled
-out to the middle of the Slough and stopped there and pretended to fish a
-while and then he paddled a little nearer Bony and pretended to fish a
-while longer, and then he paddled to shore near where Bony was and got out
-of the flatboat and went up to Bony. For a while they sat together and I
-guessed Swatty was talking to Bony about the ring and the fifty dollars
-and the man, and coaxing Bony to come to our side of the Slough and see if
-it was his father's ring the man had on his thumb.
-</p>
-<p>
-So all the time I kept looking three ways&mdash;at Bony and Swatty, and at
-my cork, and at the end of the man's fishpole&mdash;and all at once when I
-looked the man's fishpole wasn't there. It was gone!
-</p>
-<p>
-So I looked harder, but it was gone, no matter how hard I looked. So then
-I knew Swatty would give me a whale of a licking if he came back and found
-out I had let the man get away while he was fetching Bony, and I climbed
-off the root and up the bank and I was just starting to run, to go where
-the man had been, when I saw him. He was right in the middle of the path
-near where he had been fishing and he was bent down with his back toward
-me, picking up fish, because the string he had had them strung on had
-broken. He was stringing them again and as he picked them up I could see
-the ring on his thumb.
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon he had all his fish strung again and then he straightened up
-and took a chew of tobacco and looked up into a tree that was right there,
-and I looked up and saw he had put his fishpole up the tree, so I guessed
-maybe he fished there pretty often, or was coming back sometime. So then
-he slouched off. I watched him.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was big but he wasn't very old. Maybe he was twenty or thirty. His
-clothes were pretty old and faded and he looked lazy in the arms and legs
-and when he walked he walked tired. He went down the path a ways and then
-he climbed over the fence there was along there and I went across the path
-and watched him from behind another tree. It was a ploughed field there
-and he walked in a furrow clear across the field to the road that was on
-the other side and climbed over another fence. So I climbed up on my fence
-and watched to see where he would go. There were three little houses
-across the road and he went into the one on the end toward town. So then I
-guessed that was where he lived and I got down off my fence and went back
-to the point.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty and Bony were in the boat and Swatty was paddling it as well as he
-could but it was only halfway across. Then, all at once, Swatty began to
-paddle harder. He paddled as hard as he could and then, I guess, he said
-something to Bony and Bony began to bail out the boat as fast as he could.
-Then Bony began to cry. I could hear him where I was and Swatty shouted at
-him and looked over his shoulder to see how far he had to paddle. Then
-Swatty dropped his paddle stick and began to bail with his hat like he was
-crazy. And before I could see it, almost, the old, rotten flatboat took a
-dive and Swatty and Bony were in the water. Bony yelled and went under but
-Swatty came right up, spitting water and kicking out with his hands. It
-was a good thing he was barefoot.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty looked all around as soon as he got the water out of his eyes
-but he couldn't see Bony. So he dived for him.
-</p>
-<p>
-There's one place nobody ever swims and that is the Slough. All you have
-to do is to look down into it anywhere and you know why. All you see when
-you look down is seaweed&mdash;tons and oceans of it&mdash;all tangled and
-twisty, and old trees and branches sticking around in it to get caught
-onto. When the Slough is low you can't row on it because the seaweed grabs
-your oars and holds on like it was some mean man trying to drown your
-boat. It scares you. And all in among the seaweed are tough weeds and
-water-lily stems and water vines. There have been plenty of boys drowned
-in the Slough, I guess. So Bony had got caught in the weeds and vines and
-things.
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon Swatty came to the top but he didn't have Bony, but his arms
-were covered with seaweed. He spit out water and scraped the seaweed off
-his arms and then he took his nose in his hand and dived again. That time
-he got him. He got him by one leg and he swam for shore dragging Bony
-behind him and the seaweed strung out behind Bony. His head was all
-covered with it.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was crying pretty hard, I guess. So Swatty told me to shut up and he
-turned Bony over on his back and began scraping the seaweed off his face,
-and Bony's face was scratched a good deal from the rough weeds and maybe
-from where I had dragged him up the bank on his face. I thought he was
-dead but Swatty didn't. He leaned down and listened to Bony's heart and
-said all he needed was to be pumped out. So he started to pump him out.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty got down on his knees a-straddle of Bony and took Bony's hands in
-his and pumped him the way he had heard you ought to pump a drowned
-person. He pushed Bony's arms clear back until they touched the ground
-over his head and then he drew them forward until they touched the ground
-again, and he kept right at it. Every once in a while Swatty would shake
-his head to shake the water out of his ears but he went right on pumping.
-So I stood and blubbered.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, no water pumped out of Bony. Swatty pumped and pumped but no water
-came out of Bony's mouth and pretty soon Swatty stopped and took a couple
-of deep breaths.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I thought he would pump easier than that!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he pumped him again a few times and then stopped again. It looked as if
-it wasn't any use.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know what's the matter,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;We've got to prime him. There
-ain't enough water in him to start unless he's primed. When our cistern is
-low at home we have to prime it before the water starts pumping up, and
-that's what we've got to do.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guessed that was so. Our cistern pump was that way too. So I took
-my bait can and washed it out good and clean and got a can of water and I
-primed Bony. I poured a little water in Bony's mouth and Swatty pumped.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Prime him some more,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I primed him some more. It didn't seem to do any good.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, prime him a lot!&rdquo; Swatty said, so I poured all the water I had in the
-can into Bony's mouth and went and got some more.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Keep on!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;He'll start pretty soon. We've got to get the
-water pumped out of him.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I was priming Bony again when somebody behind us said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you trying to do to that boy?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I looked around, and Swatty looked around. It was the man with the ring on
-his thumb.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He's drowned,&rdquo; Swatty said, &ldquo;and we're trying to pump him out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The man took ahold of Swatty's shoulder and threw him almost into the
-fence. He stooped down and grabbed Bony and threw him across a big maple
-root, face down, and began to pump and pretty soon Bony began to pump out.
-The man pumped him pretty dry and then he put him in the sun and began to
-rub him good and after a while Bony opened his eyes. To see him open his
-eyes was one of the best things I ever saw. I was mighty glad I had helped
-to undrown him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony was pretty much wilted. Me and Swatty didn't know how we would ever
-get him home but we didn't have to.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;About one more can of water in this kid and he would have been gone for
-good,&rdquo; the man said. &ldquo;Now, you help him onto my back and I'll get him home
-for you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We got Bony onto his back and Bony hung around his neck and the man held
-Bony's legs under his arms. He climbed the fence with him that way and
-started off across the ploughed field and me and Swatty went after him. We
-didn't even think about taking our fishpoles along. We went across the
-field and the man stopped at his house and called his mother and she gave
-Bony some whiskey in hot water while the man went over to a farmer's house
-and got a team and a wagon. So, while he was gone Swatty said to Bony:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Is it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He meant the cardinal's signet ring, and was it it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, it's it,&rdquo; Bony said, but not very loud. He was pretty much drowned
-yet.
-</p>
-<p>
-So we all went back to town in the farmer's wagon; me and Bony and Swatty
-and the man and the farmer kid that was driving. So Swatty sat with the
-farmer kid and talked to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That man saved Bony's life,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Who is he?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Him? He's Lazy Joe,&rdquo; the farmer kid said. &ldquo;He's Lazy Joe Mulligan. He
-don't do nothing but fish and loaf.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty knew who the burglar was.
-</p>
-<p>
-We drove up to town and Swatty told the farmer kid where to drive and
-pretty soon we came to Bony's house. The man, Lazy Joe Mulligan, looked
-pretty funny, you bet, when we drove right up to the house he had
-burglared. He put his hand in his pocket and when he pulled it out the
-ring was gone.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on!&rdquo; Swatty said to me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where to?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Down to Bony's father's to get that fifty dollars,&rdquo; Swatty said. So we
-went.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess we forgot to tell Bony's father about Bony being drowned and
-pumped out. We just told him we had the burglar up at his house and that
-we wanted the fifty dollars, and he rushed out and up the street and got a
-policeman and hurried to his house. Lazy Joe was there yet, telling Bony's
-mother how he had pumped Bony out, but the farmer kid was n't there,
-because Bony's mother had sent him down to get Bony's father. She wanted
-Bony's father to give Lazy Joe five dollars or something for pumping Bony
-out.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then me and Swatty and Bony's father and the policeman came in and Bony's
-father was saying: &ldquo;Officer, arrest him! He's the man that stole my
-property,&rdquo; while Bony's mother was saying: &ldquo;Edward, give him five dollars
-or something! He's the man that saved your son's life.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;How is that?&rdquo; asked Bony's father, and he was pretty much mixed; &ldquo;I
-thought this was the burglar.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He is the burglar,&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;He's got the cardinal's ring in his
-pocket right now. I seen it, and Georgie seen it, and Bony seen it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Then Lazy Joe didn't know what to say. Then he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll give everything back.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So that was how they fixed it. Bony's father saved fifty-five dollars. He
-saved the five dollars he ought to have given Lazy Joe for saving Bony's
-life and he saved the fifty dollars he ought to have given Swatty. So all
-me and Swatty knew next was that we were out on the street and we didn't
-have anything to show for catching the burglar. All we had was what Bony's
-father said. What he said was:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Get out of here, you little rats! Be thankful you haven't my child's
-death on your shoulders!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I was going, but Swatty stood right there.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, sir!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I won't go. You can cheat us out of fifty dollars
-reward, maybe, but you've got to give back the diamond ring this burglar
-has that belongs to Herb and Fan. You got to give that back, because it
-ain't yours.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Have you got a ring like that?&rdquo; the policeman asked Lazy Joe.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, and he took it out of one of his pockets. So Swatty took
-it and we skipped out. We went right over to my house, because it was dark
-by now, and I went to Fan and told her we had her ring for her. I didn't
-know what I would say when she asked me where I got it, but she didn't
-ask. She just went to her drawer and got out fifteen dollars and gave it
-to me and didn't say anything. Only when I went out of the room I heard
-her bed creak sudden, and I knew she had sort of thrown herself down on
-it, broken-hearted, like in a novel.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-VII. THE HAUNTED HOUSE
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, it looked like that vacation would be a sort of nice one&mdash;at
-the beginning of it, anyway&mdash;because Fan had taken mother's advice
-and gone over to Chicago to visit Aunt Beatrice, and Mamie Little had gone
-down to Betzville to be on her uncle's farm awhile, because it would do
-her good.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Fan went she went in a closed carriage as far as the depot, because
-she was so pale and peaked she didn't want anybody to see her and have
-Herb hear of it. She sent him his ring back, I guess, before she went.
-</p>
-<p>
-I thought it was pretty mean that Fan had to be mostly sick like that,
-while Herb was as well as ever and having a good time with Miss Carter, as
-far as I knew, but it wasn't any of my business. Mother said she guessed
-Fan would get over it, because she was young yet and, goodness knew! there
-wasn't so much difference between one man and another, but that if people
-like Bony's mother didn't stop coming over and talking about it she would
-go mad. And I guess that was so because Bony's mother is some talker. I
-'ve heard her talk.
-</p>
-<p>
-I heard her talk about Fan one day, and it made me sick. And then she
-talked about Bony, and it made me sicker.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was sitting on the edge of our porch waiting for Swatty and Bony. I was
-tying a piece of salt pork on the bottom of my foot to keep from getting
-the &ldquo;lockjaw, because I had stepped on a rusty nail, and I thought maybe I
-had better scrape some of the sand out of the nail hole before I put the
-pork on, so it would heal quicker, and I was scraping it out with my
-barlow knife. That's how I happened to be sitting on the edge of the
-porch; but Bony's mother and my mother were at the other end of the porch.
-So then Bony's mother said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, I have never used a switch on my son. I have never struck him with my
-hand, nor has his father. We don't believe in it. We use moral suasion.&rdquo;
- That means they jaw Bony. They corner him up somewhere and jaw him until
-he blubbers, the way the teachers jaw the girls when they get too big to
-paddle, and then Bony's mother blubbers and makes Bony kiss her and say
-that now he will be a better and truer boy and keep the Ten Commandments
-and not smoke com silk any more. Or whatever it is.
-</p>
-<p>
-So my mother didn't say anything because when she thinks I need it she
-wales me good. Anyway, I'd rather be waled ten times a day than be
-moral-suasioned like Bony, and so would Swatty, and so would all the kids,
-and so would Bony. But my mother didn't say anything because Bony's mother
-was a caller and you don't fight with callers until after they've got you
-so perfectly exasperated you just have to speak your mind.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Bony's mother said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, indeed!&rdquo; and she said it the way women say things when they 're
-being stylish. &ldquo;Yes, indeed! the rod implants fear in the child, and we
-should rule by love. My child shall never know fear. The normal child
-never knows fear.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, that's when I almost laughed out loud. Such a smarty, sitting there
-and letting on she knew anything about boys! Say, I guess she never was a
-boy! &ldquo;Normal boys never know fear!&rdquo; She must have thought she was in
-heaven, talking about kid angels and not about boys!
-</p>
-<p>
-Boys are always afraid of something. Even Swatty used to be afraid of that
-old witch, Mrs. Groogs. We other boys used to go across the street from
-where she lived and holler:
-</p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-&ldquo;Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
-Lost her needle and couldn't sew!
-Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
-Lost her nee-dul and could-dent sew!
-Old Mu-uth-er Gur-roog-sy, oh!
-Lu-ost her nee-eedul and ku-uld-dent sew!&rdquo;
- </pre>
-<p>
-And then we'd throw clods at her shanty until she came out with a stick or
-broom&mdash;mostly it was the cane she used to walk with&mdash;and then
-we'd all throw clods at her at once and run. It made her pretty mad. But
-Swatty made her maddest. He knew a German rhyme he could say pretty fast,
-and he'd say it and she would get so mad she would shake all over.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, one day when we were all sort of teasing her like that, and Swatty
-was with us, she came out with a sword. It was a horse soldier's sword, a
-saber, and it was so big she could hardly lift it, but she could with both
-hands, and she came right at us across the street, swinging it around her
-head. If it had hit us it would have killed us, but we ran. So after that
-whenever she came out she would have the sword, but we weren't afraid of
-her when we were together. It was when one of us alone had to go anywhere
-near her shanty. We wouldn't do it. We'd go 'round.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, she was one of the things we were afraid of, but the new street got
-her away from there. The new street went right through where her shanty
-was, so they tore the shanty down, and after that we weren't afraid of her
-any more, because she was gone.
-</p>
-<p>
-So this day&mdash;it was Saturday&mdash;I was sitting on the porch fixing
-my foot when Swatty came over, like he said he would. Bony was with him,
-but he waited in the alley because he knew his mother was at my house. I
-got around the corner of the house without my mother seeing I was limping
-much, so she didn't call me back, and when we got to the alley Bony was
-there all right, with a shovel he had borrowed out of their coal bin while
-his mother wasn't home. It was to go ahead and make another room in our
-cave with. I could walk pretty good, but I had to walk on the toe end of
-one of my feet to keep the heel off the ground because the nail hole was
-in the palm of my foot. We got to our cave all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-Our cave was a good one, it was the best one I ever saw anybody make. It
-was in the clay bank at the side of Squaw Creek up where there are no more
-Irish shanties or geese and where the creek bed is gravelly instead of
-sandy. We found the place one day when we were explorers, exploring the
-creek to its headwaters, only we stopped when we got to this place and
-turned pirates and began digging the cave. We didn't do much that day, but
-the next chance we got Swatty had us go up and dig again. We dug a little
-every time we went up until the hole was big enough for us all to get in,
-and then Swatty said we'd keep right on digging until it was big enough to
-live in.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was what we thought of right at first, but we forgot it. We had had
-enough cave digging, I guess. Swatty said: &ldquo;Aw, garsh! come on and make a
-good cave!&rdquo; but we didn't want to. We wanted to smoke com silk and talk
-and be comfortable. So Swatty went outside and climbed up the bank; but
-pretty soon he came sliding down the bank. He made the silence sign and
-motioned us to come with him. He looked good and scared. So we all climbed
-up the bank and looked.
-</p>
-<p>
-The grass and weeds came right to the edge of the bank and from the edge
-they stretched away over a big field. All around the field were trees,
-edging it in, but that wasn't what Swatty wanted us to see.
-</p>
-<p>
-Away over in one corner of the field the Graveyard Gang was playing One
-Old Cat.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that was where we were. The old Squaw Creek had turned and twisted
-until it went right into the part of the edge of town where the Graveyard
-Gang kids lived, and we had dug our cave right in a place where we had
-never dared to go. Gee, I was scared!
-</p>
-<p>
-We were always scared of the Graveyard Gang. They had to come down to our
-school, and there were a lot of them and mostly bigger than we were and we
-generally fought after school, but it was only sometimes that they could
-catch us and mailer us, because we could throw clods at them and then skip
-into our yards where we lived, and they couldn't come after us. But what
-they always tried to do was to get some of us cornered off and chase us
-out toward the cemetery way. If they got us out there they could surround
-us and mailer the life out of us. And they would.
-</p>
-<p>
-So me and Bony saw that our cave was a pretty good thing. If the Graveyard
-Gang got us cornered off and we had to run out their way they would think
-they had us, but we would just run and slide down to our cave and then we
-could fight them until they had enough or we had killed them all. So every
-day that we went to the cave we took up stones, and we dug and dug. It was
-a dandy cave. It was big enough to stand up in, and we made a stove out of
-old iron and made a hole up through the ceiling for the smoke to go out,
-and we had some potatoes and things so we could stand a long siege. We
-worked at it nearly all vacation. Swatty showed us how to make a door, and
-we made it and we painted the outside with wet clay so the door would look
-like the side of the bank but it didn't. It did some, but not much.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, when school began again we began having clod fights with the
-Graveyard Gang again and some of them were pretty tough fights. Once,
-Swatty said, when me and Bony wasn't with him some of the Graveyard kids
-cornered him off and chased him all the way out to their part of town, but
-he dodged and went behind some bushes and got to the cave and hid there
-until night, and they never found him. So we knew the cave was a good
-thing to have. So this day I'm telling about we went right up the creek to
-our cave and the minute we got there Swatty stopped short.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Somebody has been here!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-The door of the cave was busted in and was off one of its hinges. Our
-stove was all kicked over and the table we had made was busted down and
-everything we had was all kicked around. We guessed the Graveyard Gang had
-found us out, so Swatty and me and Bony went to work and fixed up the door
-and mended the stove. We didn't know when they would come back.
-</p>
-<p>
-They came back quick enough. The first we heard was them talking at the
-top of the bank, and then all of them slid down. I guess they wanted to
-stop when they got to the cave mouth, but Swatty was in the door of the
-cave and he had his pockets full of our throwing stones, and he leaned out
-and let them have them. They yelled and slid right on down to the creek.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony began to cry.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, there were about twelve of the Graveyard Gang down there in the
-creek. They got together and talked about how they would get us and then
-they began throwing stones. I tried to help Swatty stone them, but the
-door was too narrow, and he told me to stay inside and hand him stones to
-throw. He threw as fast as he could and sometimes he hit a Graveyard kid
-and sometimes he missed, but one kid can't hardly throw against twelve,
-and pretty soon a stone hit Swatty on the forehead just on his eyebrow. He
-put up his hand to feel the place and another hit him on the crazy bone,
-and he came inside and lay down on the floor of the cave and hugged his
-elbow and rocked himself and groaned. I guess it hurt him pretty bad. Bony
-just stood and bellered: &ldquo;Oh, I want to go home! I want to go home!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I went to the door and began to throw stones, but I was so mad I couldn't
-aim straight. Swatty sat up and rocked himself and hugged his elbow.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Shut the door!&rdquo; he howled at me. &ldquo;Come in and shut the door! Shut the
-door!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I did. I wasn't much afraid of being hit, but I knew the door shut
-right away, so I shut it. The minute it was shut the stones hit against it
-like hail. The Graveyard Gang cheered, but it didn't do them any good; the
-little throwing stones couldn't break the door and they couldn't throw big
-ones up that far.
-</p>
-<p>
-In a little while Swatty was just rubbing his elbow and he got up and
-helped me brace the door shut with the shovel and things. His forehead was
-swelled up like an egg, but he didn't mind that.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;This shows it was a good thing we have a cave,&rdquo; and I
-guessed he was right. He went over and made Bony stop blubbering. He made
-him stop by telling him to hurry and build a fire in the stove because
-maybe we might have to stay there a week or even longer, and we'd have to
-cook potatoes to live on or else starve to death. So Bony forgot to cry
-and started to make a fire.
-</p>
-<p>
-Between the boards of our door we could see out through the crack and we
-could see that the Graveyard Gang didn't know what to do next to get us.
-Once in a while they threw a stone or two but that didn't hurt us. And
-then they did the thing that chased us out.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess it was about five o'clock by then. We thought it was later because
-it was getting dark, but we couldn't see that there was a big storm coming
-up. It was coming up back of us and was hiding the sun. All at once there
-was thunder, and then the stove began to smoke out into the cave. Then the
-whole cave began to fill with smoke.
-</p>
-<p>
-I coughed, and me and Bony thought the wind was blowing the smoke down the
-chimney, but Swatty went to the stove and kicked the top off and began
-scattering the wood and coals over the floor to put out the fire. Some of
-the Graveyard Gang had put something over the top of our chimney so that
-the smoke would come into the cave and smoke us out.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was all right. We kicked the fire out and that ought to have
-stopped the smoke but it didn't. The smoke came in worse than ever, and
-then Swatty knew what was the matter. The Graveyard Gang was filling our
-chimney with burning grass or straw or something and then stopping the top
-of the chimney so the smoke would come down into the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-The smoke got so thick we couldn't see and we couldn't breathe. Swatty
-looked out of the door cracks and there were eight or nine of the
-Graveyard Gang down there in the creek laying for us, but what could we
-do? We couldn't stay in the cave and be suffocated to death, could we? So
-what we had to do we had to do mighty quick.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty threw open the cave door. He had picked up a stick and he sort of
-waved it over his head. Bony was blubbering again and I couldn't see very
-well for the smoke in my eyes, and neither could Swatty, I guess, but
-Swatty waved the stick and shouted:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on, now!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;We've got 'em surrounded! Charge 'em! We've
-got 'em now!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, the Graveyard kids looked up at the top of the other bank and Swatty
-started to slide down the bank right at them, and me and Bony we started
-to slide down, and the Graveyard kids turned and ran up the creek. I guess
-they were scared that Swatty had seen a lot more of our kids coming.
-Anyway, they ran about half a block and then they saw there was just
-Swatty and Bony and me and that we were climbing up the other bank to get
-away, and they came for us.
-</p>
-<p>
-We didn't have much of a start. We didn't know exactly where we were. We
-ran where the running was easiest, and pretty soon we came to a fence and
-climbed over and we were in a road. We turned and ran up the road, and the
-first of the Graveyard kids was piling over the fence already so we just
-let out our legs and ran! Even Bony stopped crying. He just turned white
-and scared-looking and ran. He ran so fast he ran in front of us and we
-could hardly keep up with him.
-</p>
-<p>
-The whole Graveyard Gang was after us now, shouting and running and pretty
-soon we knew where we were&mdash;we were on the Four Mile Road because off
-in the distance we could see the big red building of the Poor Farm. We
-knew that building pretty well because it is one of the places we kept
-away from because they keep the crazy folks there. You never know when a
-crazy man will cut you open with a knife or something.
-</p>
-<p>
-We didn't have time to think of that scare then, we were so scared of what
-would happen to us if the Graveyard kids caught us. I guess we didn't
-think of the Poor Farm crazy folks at all.
-</p>
-<p>
-So pretty soon Bony began to drop back, and we caught up with him. It was
-thundering and lightning hard now and the wind was blowing the way it does
-just before a big storm&mdash;big whoofs that throw up the dust in thick
-waves and make the trees bend low down and shake the leaves out of them&mdash;and
-Bony was crying again. Swatty shouted at him, but we couldn't hear what he
-was saying, the wind and the thunder and trees made so much noise. I
-looked back and saw that the Graveyard kids were right after us and then&mdash;Bony
-fell down!
-</p>
-<p>
-He didn't fall flat. He fell half and took half a step and then turned and
-fell sideways, and when he tried to get up he couldn't. I ran a little bit
-before I stopped, but Swatty stopped short and when I looked back he was
-trying to drag Bony up again. There was an awful flash of lightning, one
-of the kind you can't see for a minute after, and then a bang like a
-thousand cannon, only keener, and a big tree at the side of the road just
-split in two and one half fell across the road. I guess maybe I cried a
-little, but I didn't stop to do it; I ran back to Swatty and Bony and
-grabbed hold of Bony's other arm and helped Swatty drag him.
-</p>
-<p>
-I don't know what happened to the Graveyard Gang. I guess they got scared
-of the storm and went home but we didn't think of that then, All we
-thought of was to get Bony away in a hurry. It was awful! The lightning
-and thunder were just glare, glare, glare! and bang, bang, bang! and no
-rest in between, and the wind was bending the trees almost down to the
-ground and holding them there stiff, not swaying. I was just bellering and
-yanking Bony by the arm and saying, &ldquo;Oh, come on, Bony! Oh, come on,
-Bony!&rdquo; over and over. Swatty was shouting at me all the time, but I
-couldn't tell what he was saying, but he pulled more at his arm of Bony
-than I pulled at mine, and then I saw he was taking him off the road,
-because there was a house right where we were and he wanted to get him to
-the house.
-</p>
-<p>
-Just when we got Bony onto the porch of the house it began to rain. It
-didn't rain down, it rained straight across, like the lines on writing
-paper, and it didn't rain a little&mdash;it rained all the rain there ever
-was or will be, I guess. The rain came into that porch like water shot out
-of a fire hose nozzle, just swish-swash against the front of the house and
-then up to your ankles on the rotten floor of the porch. And then, when
-there was a white flash of lightning I saw where we were. We were on the
-porch of the Haunted House!
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>
-</p>
-<div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
-<img alt="182 (79K)" src="images/182.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
-</div>
-<p>
-All the kids knew about the Haunted House. The way I knew about it was
-because we used to go out the Four Mile Road nutting and then we used to
-see it. Anybody would know it was a haunted house just by looking at it.
-The glass in the windows was all gone and boards, any old boards, were
-nailed across the windows, and the doors were either nailed up or broken
-in and hanging crooked on one hinge. The paint was all off and the
-chimneys had toppled over and the bricks and mortar were all scattered
-down the roof and some on the porch roof. The shingles were all curled up
-and there were bare patches where they had blown off.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was a big house, two stories and a half, and there was a porch all
-across the front, but at one corner the porch post had rotted down so that
-the porch roof sagged almost to the floor there, and the rest of the roof
-was all skewish. The floor of the porch where we were was all dry-rotted
-and some of the boards were gone, and the grass and weeds grew up through
-the floor everywhere. The yard was all weeds, as high as a man, and
-tangled blackberry bushes, and at night, so Swatty and all the kids said,
-something white used to come to the windows and stand there, and you could
-hear moans. It was a haunted house all right. All the boys knew that and
-all the boys kept away from it. And there we were, right on the porch and
-the rain just drowning us.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on, we got to get him inside,&rdquo; Swatty said, and he took hold of Bony
-again.
-</p>
-<p>
-I didn't want to. It was bad enough to be on the porch of a haunted house
-or anywhere near it, but the thunder and lightning and rain and wind and
-everything made all things kind of different than on other days. It wasn't
-like real; it was like dreams. It was like the end of the world, when you
-don't think what you do but just do it; and so I took hold of Bony and
-helped.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got Bony to the front door and into the hall of the house. In there it
-was so black we couldn't see except when the lightning flashed, and then
-we couldn't see much. The rain was blowing in at the door and running down
-the hall. The old house shook and trembled. A brick or something rolled
-down the roof and thumped on the porch roof.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got Bony into a dry corner of the hall and let him sit on the floor and
-Swatty tried to feel Bony's leg to see if it was broken or what, and while
-he was doing that there came a big crash and the rain stopped coming in at
-the front door. It was the porch roof. It had blown down the rest of the
-way, shutting up the door and shutting us in. But we didn't know then that
-we were shut in. We were just frightened by the noise. We thought maybe
-the house had been struck by lightning.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, after that it was darker in the house than ever. We didn't get the
-light from the lightning through the door any more, and we only got it
-through the cracks between the boards at the windows. We just stood there,
-me and Swatty, and Bony on the floor, and listened to the storm and the
-water swashing against the house and to the old house creaking and
-grating, and Bony moaned over his ankle and cried because of everything. I
-was just plain scared. I just stood and got more and more scared. I tried
-to listen whether the creaking and grating was the house or ghosts, and I
-listened so hard my ears seemed to reach out. I didn't dare to breathe.
-Pretty soon I was too scared for any use. I said, &ldquo;Swatty!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; he answered back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm scared,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, then Bony began to beller loud.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up!&rdquo; Swatty told him. &ldquo;I'm scared, too, ain't I? Feel my wrist,&rdquo;
- he says to me, &ldquo;it's all goose flesh, ain't it? That's how scared I am,
-but it don't do any good to beller about it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we just stayed there. Bony held on to Swatty's ankle with one hand and
-I sort of edged over so I was close to Swatty, and we just waited, because
-that was all there was to do. So after a while the storm let up. It rained
-a little yet, but the thunder and lightning stopped. The wind blew some,
-but not so much. It was pretty dark in the house. We knew it must be
-getting toward night.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess we can go now,&rdquo; Swatty said, and I was glad of it. We boosted
-Bony up so he could hobble on one leg between us and we went to the front
-door. Well, we couldn't get out!
-</p>
-<p>
-And that wasn't the worst of it; every other way out was boarded up! We
-went all around the first floor and tried all the windows and the back
-door and they were all boarded up. We were fastened tight into the Haunted
-House.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was pretty bad going into the dark rooms, one after another, not
-knowing whether something would jump out at you, and I guess me and Bony
-wouldn't have done it if Swatty hadn't made us. But there wasn't any way
-out, and that wasn't the worst. There wasn't even a little piece of board
-to pry the boards off the windows. There, wasn't a loose brick or
-anything. Nothing but dust, and maybe a couple of pieces of paper.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What'll we do?&rdquo; I asked, awfully scared. &ldquo;Garsh! I don't know!&rdquo; Swatty
-said. &ldquo;We got to get out somehow. We'll starve to death here if we don't.
-We got to get something to pry off a board from a window.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, there wasn't anything to pry one off with. Not down where we were.
-So Swatty said, all of a sudden:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on! I'm going to see if there's anything we can get upstairs.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, no, Swatty!&rdquo; I begged. &ldquo;Don't go up there! I don't want to go up!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you don't have to, do you?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I didn't ask you to. I said I
-was going.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he went alone, and I stayed down with Bony. We were all alone in the
-dark down there and Swatty went up the stairs. He went up a step at a time
-and then stopped and listened, and then he went up another step and
-listened. Pretty soon he got to the top of the stairs and then we heard
-him going from one room to smother and feeling with his foot for a board
-or something that would do to pry our way out. Then we didn't hear him for
-a minute, I guess.
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon he came to the head of the stairs. He leaned over the
-balusters.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hey! George! Come on up,&rdquo; he said in a whisper. &ldquo;There ain't nothing up
-here. I want to go up in the attic.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Bony wouldn't go. Swatty had to come down and talk to him like a Dutch
-uncle and tell him what he thought of him, and then he blubbered while we
-were helping him up the stairs. He said it was all right for us to go up
-because if anything&mdash;he didn't say a ghost, because he was afraid to,
-but that was what he meant&mdash;jumped out at us we could run, but he
-couldn't because his ankle was sprained. But we got him up all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got him up and I stayed with him at the head of the stairs, and Swatty
-went and opened the attic stair door. He opened it, and then he stood
-there a second. Even where I was I could hear it. It was like a groan&mdash;like
-a long, sick sort of groan&mdash;and it was from up there in the attic. I
-turned so stiff and cold I couldn't open or shut my lips. I couldn't
-breathe. I was like ice, numb and cold all over except my hair pulled
-upward all over my head. A ghost could have come and put its cold hand on
-me and I couldn't have moved.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh! Oh&mdash;!&rdquo; came that long moan from up in the attic. Bony stood up,
-and his ankle gave way and he fell down the stairs&mdash;all the way to
-the bottom.
-</p>
-<p>
-He stayed there, just calling out, &ldquo;Swatty, Swatty!&rdquo; over and over.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was dark there now, dead dark. All at once I screamed. Something had
-touched me on the arm.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up!&rdquo; Swatty said, because it was Swatty that had touched me.
-&ldquo;Shut up and don't be a baby! I've got to go up there, and you've got to
-go up with me.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Because I don't want to go up there alone,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;That's why if you
-want to know.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What do you want to go up for, anyway?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you won't go up alone, will you? And Bony won't go up alone, will
-he? Somebody's got to go up and see if there's anything up there we can
-pry our way out with. Come on! That noise ain't nothin' but the wind, or
-maybe an owl, or something else.&rdquo; So I had to go. I made Swatty go first,
-and he went up the attic stairs real slow, and I didn't crowd him any, you
-bet! At the top of the stairs he stopped short. So I stopped short.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What's the matter?&rdquo; I whispered. Swatty stood still.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;There's something up here or somebody&mdash;something alive,&rdquo; he
-whispered back in terror.
-</p>
-<p>
-And there was! Between the moans I could hear it breathe, a long breath,
-like &ldquo;Ah-ah!&rdquo; So the next thing I knew I was down two flights of stairs at
-the front door, trying to scratch my way through the porch roof with my
-finger nails, and Bony was hanging onto my legs, and we were both scared
-stiff. I guess it wasn't so long after we heard something breathe in the
-attic, about a second after, maybe. And I couldn't scratch my way out. So
-I began to yell: &ldquo;Swatty! Oh, Swatty! Come here; why don't you come here?
-Oh, Swatty, come!&rdquo; And Bony yelled too. We both did. I guess we both
-cried, we were so scared and frightened and afraid. Shut in a haunted
-house like that and something moaning and breathing in the attic! Anybody
-would be scared. Anybody but Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-Afterward, the next time we got together after Bony's ankle was well and
-after the manager of the Poor Farm had given us each a watch and chain for
-what we did, Swatty said he wasn't scared when he heard the groaner
-breathe, because he had heard his folks's cow when it had the colic, and
-that was the way the cow groaned and breathed when it had it. Anyway, when
-I ran away from him and left him alone he stood and listened, and then he
-went up the last step and listened again. It was black up there. So he
-said, &ldquo;Who's there?&rdquo; and waited and the groaning kept on. So he walked
-right over toward where the groaning kept coming from. He walked slowly,
-pushing one foot ahead of him and holding out both hands, because the
-floor might not be all there, and all at once his foot hit something hard
-and cold. He was barefoot, like all of us.
-</p>
-<p>
-It might have been a snake. It might have been anything, for all Swatty
-knew, but he bent down and felt it with his hand. I wouldn't have done it
-for a million dollars, and Bony wouldn't have done it for ten million
-dollars! No, sir! So at first Swatty thought it was an old scythe blade
-somebody had left there, and he was mighty glad anyway, because it would
-do to pry the boards off a window and let us out, but when he tried to
-pick it up it was held onto.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess I might as well say it right out. It was a sword, and it was
-Mrs. Groogs's sword, and it was old Mrs. Groogs that was holding onto the
-other end of the sword and lying there and groaning and breathing! It was
-her son's sword, and he had been killed in the war Grant and Lincoln and
-Swatty's father had been in, and when she ran away from the Poor Farm and
-they couldn't find out where she had gone, that was all she took and that
-was where she went to die&mdash;there in the attic of the Haunted House.
-She went there because she was kind of crazy and thought the mother of a
-son that had died for his country oughtn't to die in the Poor House. But
-she didn't die in it, either, because the Woman's Relief Corps rented a
-room for her and the city gave her Outside Support again.
-</p>
-<p>
-So if it hadn't been for us Mrs. Groogs would have starved to death in the
-Haunted House, and if it hadn't been for her and her sword maybe we would
-have starved to death in it. So I guess it was all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that time none of us got licked when we got home. Swatty didn't because
-his father was a G.A.R. and Mrs. Groogs was a G.A.R.-ess, and I didn't
-because my folks were glad I hadn't been struck by lightning, and Bony
-didn't because his folks were moral suasion. They jawed him.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-VIII. WASTED EFFORT
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, a good many things happened that vacation. Fan stayed over at
-Chicago and Herb Schwartz began studying to be a lawyer in Judge Hannan's
-law office. Miss Carter went off to a school somewhere but I don't know
-whether she was teaching or learning. Mamie Little was down at Betzville,
-on a farm, and Lucy never did tag along with us anyway, so it looked as if
-me and Swatty and Bony was going to have one of the best vacations we ever
-had. We used to go up to our cave and work on it. Scratch-Cat went with us
-mostly, but we didn't count her for a girl. So it looked pretty good.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony liked vacation because we never did have time to do
-all we wanted to do when school kept. What we wanted to do most was to
-finish up our cave in the clay bank up Squaw Creek. The Graveyard Gang had
-chased us away from it, but that was all right when vacation came because
-the Graveyard Gang kids all have to go to work when school is over. Some
-of them work for the farmers on the Island, and some work in the sawmills.
-So we went up and looked at the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-The cave was all right. The Graveyard Gang had fixed up the door and made
-it look better, and the stove was there, and they had made another room to
-the cave, in behind, only it wasn't all dug out yet. So me and Swatty and
-Bony and Scratch-Cat thought we would finish digging the new room and
-then, maybe, we would get a Gatling gun or something and put it in the
-cave, so we could hold the fort when school began again and the Graveyard
-Gang tried to chase us out again. Swatty said maybe his uncle would give
-him a Gatling gun for his birthday if he wrote to Derlingport and asked
-him. So me and Bony thought that sounded good, and we went ahead and dug
-at the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, it looked like we was going to have the best vacation we ever had. I
-guess we ought to have known that when everything looked so bully
-something was going to spoil it all. It was too good to be right. Swatty's
-mother's cow went dry, and Swatty didn't have to go home early to get her
-from the pasture so he could deliver the milk around to the neighbors, and
-that was too good to be right; and Bony sort of stopped bawling at every
-little thing, and that wasn't like him. We ought to have knowed something
-was going to happen.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was too nice. Most always, in vacation, my mother made me and my sister
-wash and wipe the dinner dishes at noon, and it didn't do any good to drop
-plates and break them, or whine, or get a bad headache all of a sudden; I
-had to wipe. There ought to be a law so boys couldn't wipe dishes, but
-there ain't; so about all I could ever do was to wipe them as mean as I
-could and leave the butter between the tines of the forks when my sister
-didn't wash it all out.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, when this vacation came I thought I'd have to start in wiping the
-doggone dishes again; but I didn't. My mother got back the hired girl we
-had off and on. Her name was Annie Dombacher and she was a strong girl and
-a happy one, and she didn't care any more for work than shucks. She could
-wash and wipe dishes and enjoy it, so maybe she was crazy; but what did I
-care if she was? She pitched in and even carried in her own wood, and made
-a jar of cookies every two days. I thought it was bully. I ought to have
-knowed better. I ought to have knowed that mothers don't get hired girls
-that will carry in the wood and everything unless they've got something
-mean they are going to do to a fellow pretty soon.
-</p>
-<p>
-The first thing that happened was Bony. Me and Swatty had got so we didn't
-hardly think of Bony as a cry-baby any more, and here all at once he was
-different. He used to come yelling and &ldquo;yoo-ooing&rdquo; to meet us, and then
-one noon he come sort of sneaking, like a dog you've told to go home and
-thrown a stone at. He come up to us, mighty quiet and looking pretty sick,
-and didn't say nothing.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What's the matter, Bony?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Nothing. You 'tend your own business, can't you?&rdquo; he answered back.
-</p>
-<p>
-But it wasn't scrappy the way he said it; it was whiny.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I started to say something, but Swatty stopped me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! let him be!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;If he wants to be a whine-cat let him be one.
-What do we care?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we let him. He came along to the cave with us and dug; but he didn't
-seem to have no fun. It wouldn't have taken much to make him blubber. He
-acted ashamed, that's what!
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was one day, and the next morning he was just as bad. We teased
-him some that morning, but he took it and never jawed back. Then he went
-down to the creek to get a drink, and me and Swatty talked about him.
-Bony's father and mother fought a good deal with their jaws sometimes,
-like when we thought Bony's father was going across the river to kill
-himself and we went to keep him from it, and me and Swatty decided there
-must be a big fight going on at Bony's house, because that always makes a
-fellow feel cheap and mean. So we said we wouldn't tease him about it. So
-Bony came back and we dug awhile and went home to dinner.
-</p>
-<p>
-And the next thing was that Mamie Little came back from Betzville and
-began playing with Lucy and Toady Williams again, and that made me feel
-mean. And then Fan came back from Chicago.
-</p>
-<p>
-So, one day after dinner I had to go for an errand for my mother, and when
-I came back Swatty and Bony hadn't come yet, but Mamie Little was at our
-house waiting for my sister. She was on the front terrace braiding the
-grass where it was long. So I picked some grass and made a ball of it and
-threw it at her and she said to stop, and I got some more and was going to
-throw it at her, and I felt pretty good, because she said: &ldquo;Oh, George!
-now don't!&rdquo; but just then my father came out of the house, so I stopped. I
-had thought he had gone already. I stood and didn't do anything until he
-went by, and then I happened to think I had left my nigger-shooter on my
-bureau in my room and I went to get it.
-</p>
-<p>
-I went into the house and up the stairs on the jump and busted into my
-room, and then stopped mighty short because my mother was in my room. She
-was at my bureau and had a drawer pulled out and was taking out some of my
-clothes. So I grabbed my nigger-shooter off the bureau and was going to go
-mighty quick, because mothers always think of something for you to do when
-they see you.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you are going over to your Aunt Nell's to stay a week
-or two. I'll get your clothes all ready, and I want you to be a good boy
-while you're there and be as little trouble as possible.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, gee!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What do I have to go over there for?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-It made me sick, because Aunt Nell is always trying to do right by me when
-I'm over there and combing my hair and making me wash my feet before I go
-to bed and everything. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, gee! I don't want to!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-My mother went right on taking clothes out of my bureau.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm going to tell you something, Georgie, and then perhaps you will be
-more reasonable. You and Lucy are going to Aunt Nell's because there is a
-little new baby coming here. Now, will you be a good boy and say nothing
-more?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes'm,&rdquo; I said, and I got out of the room pretty quick. I tiptoed down
-the stairs and stood at the bottom. I didn't know whether to go out or
-not. Bony and Swatty were out there now, and Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat,
-and I didn't know how I would dare talk to them. I sort of felt like they
-would see it in my face. If they did I would feel so mean I'd die.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess you know how a fellow feels about it. Any fellow would almost
-rather go to jail than have a baby come to his house. The fellows yell at
-him, &ldquo;Aw, Georgie, you got a baby at your house.&rdquo; And he knows it is so
-and he can't tell them they're liars.
-</p>
-<p>
-But just then my mother came out of my room and said: &ldquo;Georgie!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I got out of the front door in a hurry. I was afraid she was going to
-say something about it again. Women don't know any better; they'll say
-anything right out and think it is all right and don't care how a fellow
-feels sick to hear it. So I skipped. I went down to the front gate, and
-Swatty and Bony and Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat were there. Bony was off
-to one side, looking sick, and Swatty was &ldquo;Awing&rdquo; at Mamie Little about
-something, but I felt too mean and cheap to &ldquo;Aw!&rdquo; back at him, like I
-ought to have done. I let him &ldquo;Aw!&rdquo; I got as far away from Mamie Little as
-I could and went over and sat by Bony and Scratch-Cat.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, all at once I guessed maybe I knew what was the matter with Bony,
-because I felt just like the way he had been acting. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say, Bony, are you going to have a baby at your house?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He got sort of red and didn't dare look at me. Then he began to cry,
-mad-like.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't care!&rdquo; he blubbered out. &ldquo;If you tell anybody I'll lick you, I
-will, I don't care who you are! I'll&mdash;I'll shoot you. I'll kill you!&rdquo;
- Scratch-Cat didn't laugh. She just said, &ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; So I knew that was it. So
-just then Mamie Little called out, &ldquo;Oh, Georgie.&rdquo; But I just hollered,
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up!&rdquo; So I said: &ldquo;Aw, come on, Swatty, let's go up to the cave.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, just then my sister came out of the house. She had on a clean dress,
-and she came hippety-hopping down the walk as happy as could be and
-happier. She came right down to where Swatty was teasing Mamie Little, and
-she said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mamie! Mamie! What do you think? We're going to have a little new baby!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I got up and climbed over the fence and ran. I don't know how I ever
-got over a fence so quick&mdash;pickets and all&mdash;but I did, and I ran
-up the street with my hands over my ears. I knew Swatty knew and Mamie
-Little knew and that they were thinking: &ldquo;Ho! Georgie is going to have a
-new baby at his house.&rdquo; And I was trying to run away. When I came to the
-corner I dodged behind it, and stopped.
-</p>
-<p>
-Almost right away Bony came and Swatty came right after him, and
-Scratch-Cat after Swatty, but we made her go back again. We didn't want
-any girls around at all. Swatty was almost as sore as me and Bony was. He
-just threw himself down on the grass and said, &ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you don't need to go and blame me,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I ain't the only one.
-Bony's going to have one at his house, too.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty sat up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, garsh!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You and Bony's always spoiling all our fun. I ought
-to have knowed what was the matter with him, and now you 'll be the same
-way. You bet I don't have no babies coming to my house, making everybody
-grouchy. But you and Bony don't care; you don't care how you spoil the
-fun.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Bony didn't say anything, but it made me mad. &ldquo;Well, it ain't my fault, is
-it?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;I don't want no baby to come to my house, do I? I didn't
-order it from the doctor, did I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What doctor?&rdquo; Swatty asked. &ldquo;What has a doctor got to do with it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, a doctor brings it, don't he?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, he don't!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;A stork brings it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;My mother told me so a million times, and I guess she knows, don't she?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! That's in Germany,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I know that, I guess. In Germany a stork
-brings it, but how can it in the United States where there ain't no
-storks? Did you ever see a stork in the United States?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, no,&rdquo; Swatty had to say, because he didn't. &ldquo;Well, you've seen
-plenty of doctors in the United States, haven't you?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; Swatty had to say, because he had. He saw Doctor Miller almost
-every day, starting out or coming back with his old gray mare. He was our
-doctor and Bony's folks' doctor, but Swatty's folks had Doctor Benz,
-because they were German and water-curers. Doctor Miller was a big-piller.
-So Swatty had to say yes.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;don't that prove it?&rdquo; Of course it did. Swatty had to say
-it did. So he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, garsh! if doctors bring them in the United States I guess I would
-n't be sitting around whining if I was you and Bony. I know what I'd do!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What would you do?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I wouldn't let a doctor bring any, that's what I wouldn't do,&rdquo; said
-Swatty. &ldquo;I'd find out what doctor was going to bring it, and I'd fix him
-all right, you bet your boots!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, Doctor Miller is going to bring them, if anybody does,&rdquo; I said.
-&ldquo;He's our doctor and he's Bony's doctor, ain't he? What can me and Bony
-do, I'd like to know?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I could help you, couldn't I?&rdquo; Swatty wanted to know. &ldquo;I would n't
-have to go back on you just because Doctor Miller isn't our doctor, would
-I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, what would we do, then?&rdquo; I asked, but you bet I felt a whole lot
-better; if Swatty was willing to help us it was different. He was a good
-helper. Bony looked better, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty pulled a handful of grass and fooled with it and I could see he was
-thinking mighty hard.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We've got the cave, ain't we?&rdquo; he said after while. &ldquo;Well, then, all
-we've got to do is to get Doctor Miller and put him in the cave and keep
-him there, and then he can't do anything about it, can he?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Of course that was so. I wouldn't have thought of it, and Bony would n't,
-but Swatty thought of it in less than a minute. But right away I thought
-of how hard it would be to do. If Doctor Miller had been a kid it would
-have been easy, but he was a man and he was a mighty big man, too. He was
-bigger around than any man in town, I guess, and almost as tall.
-</p>
-<p>
-I asked Swatty, and he said of course we couldn't grab Doctor Miller and
-push him a mile or so out to the cave and boost him up the clay bank and
-into the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We've got to think out a plan,&rdquo; he said, only he said &ldquo;plam,&rdquo; like he
-always does, and &ldquo;gart,&rdquo; instead of &ldquo;got.&rdquo; So we thought, and it wasn't
-any use. So Swatty said we might as well go out to the cave and do some
-work and think out there. So we went.
-</p>
-<p>
-The more I thought the more I couldn't think of anything. All I could
-think of was how big Doctor Miller was, and I guess Bony thought the same
-thing. I thought of his whiskers, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-You 're always kind of scared of a doctor, almost like you're scared of a
-minister. They ain't like common folks. Common folks are just men, except
-when they are your fathers; but ministers and doctors are men and
-something else, and Doctor Miller was more doctory than any other doctor
-in town. That was why so many folks had him. He had red-brown whiskers and
-nothing on his chin or upper lip, and his whiskers were not stiff and
-tough like whiskers generally are, but smooth and silky and fluffy. He
-laughed a lot, too, and was always smiling, but he knew all about your
-insides better than you did. It is creepy to see a man smiling so much and
-feel that he knows more about you than you do yourself. And so you were
-mighty scared of him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we didn't think of anything, and I went home feeling pretty mean and
-went in the alley way and my mother was keeping supper for me and had my
-things and sister's all ready for us to go over to Aunt Nell's and after
-supper she kissed us and we went. She gave me a dollar and she gave Sis
-fifty cents, and she hugged us a long time before she let us go.
-</p>
-<p>
-The next morning Aunt Nell started right in on me. She made me go upstairs
-and brush my hair again and looked at my finger nails and in my ears, and
-then said I didn't look as well as usual and wanted to know if I slept
-well. I got away as soon as I could and went up to the cave. Swatty and
-Bony was there already, digging at the roof of the back room of the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What you doing that for?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;If you dig up there much more the
-roof will bust through.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, ain't that what we want it to do?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why do we?&rdquo; I asked back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You come on and help us work,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and I'll tell you why.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I helped them work and Swatty told me he had thought of a bully plan. I
-wouldn't have thought of it in a thousand years. I had stayed awake all
-night&mdash;or anyway almost half an hour&mdash;trying to think how we
-could get Doctor Miller into the cave, and all I could think of was
-grabbing him somehow and tying ropes to him and yanking him up to the door
-of the cave, and I knew we couldn't do it, because we weren't strong
-enough. But Swatty had thought it all out, like he always does. I might
-have known he would.
-</p>
-<p>
-We went ahead and dug at the roof of the cave, and pretty soon we dug
-through to daylight. It took us all day and the dirt we got we spaded into
-the tunnel between the two rooms and filled it up good and solid, except a
-short way out of the front room. The next day we worked hard, too. We dug
-out more of the roof of the back room, and then worked on the door of the
-cave so we could fasten it up sound and quick when we got the doctor in
-it. We took the stove out and everything else he could use to dig with,
-and when we had to go home for supper we had it all ready. Swatty said so.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, all of us knew Jake Hines, the doctor's hired man, and he was
-foreman of Fearless Hose Company No. 2, and every night he went over to
-the hose-house and played cards after he got his work done at the
-doctor's. I went to bed about nine o'clock, but I left my clothes on, and
-when I thought it was midnight I got up and went downstairs and went out
-into the alley. Swatty was there already, sitting in the shadow of Doc
-Miller's manure box, but Bony hadn't come, so we guessed he was a
-'fraid-cat and didn't dare. So we went ahead without him.
-</p>
-<p>
-The doctor's old gray mare was standing with her head at the little square
-window, and Swatty got on the manure box and climbed in. He opened the
-stable door and I went in after him. The old mare looked around at us, but
-she didn't make any trouble, and Swatty untied the halter strap and we led
-her out into the alley. We led her across the public square, and down into
-the creek and then up the creek to where our cave was. She came right
-along as easy as anything and we got her up the bank and to where we had
-caved in the roof of the back cave. She didn't want to go down there. I
-guess she thought it was kind of funny to be taken into a hole like that,
-but a doctor's horse is used to being out at night and to going into all
-sorts of places, and at last she set her front feet and slid down. It was
-pretty steep, but she went down easy. Swatty tied the halter strap to one
-of her front feet and we left her there.
-</p>
-<p>
-We went back home and I went to bed. I was pretty scared. I thought the
-doctor would get up in the morning and see his mare was gone and would get
-a lot of people and police and there would be crowds hunting the mare. I
-had pretty bad dreams. I dreamed I was hung about eight times for horse
-stealing.
-</p>
-<p>
-When I got up in the morning I was mighty sick of it, you bet. I made up
-my mind I wouldn't do any more, no matter how many babies the doctor
-brought to our house. I would stay at Aunt Nell's and let on I didn't know
-anything about gray mares or anything. I was through.
-</p>
-<p>
-So about nine o'clock, Swatty came to Aunt Nell's to get me, and he was
-just hopping, he was so tickled.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It's better than I ever thort it would be. I came
-through the alley and Jake Hines was sitting on the manure box waiting for
-the mare to come home. And what do you think?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He said he would give me a quarter if I found the mare,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;He
-said he guessed he had left the stable door open and she had wandered away
-and maybe she would come back, but if I hunted around and found her and
-brought her back he would give me a quarter. So I'm hunting around for
-her.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I didn't feel so bad. Bony came and said it wasn't because he was
-scared that he didn't come out last night, but because he had gone to
-sleep and hadn't waked up. So Swatty talked some more and we all felt
-fine. We seen it was bully. So I took my dollar, like we had fixed it for
-me to do, and I bought some bread and some butter and some things to eat
-while Swatty and Bony went out to the cave. We didn't want Doctor Miller
-to starve to death while we had him locked in the cave because that would
-be murder. So I took what I had bought to the cave and we put it where the
-doctor could see it, and then we went down to the doctor's house. It was
-about ten o'clock. We went to the front door and rung the bell and Mrs.
-Miller came to the door.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Is Doctor Miller at home?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-She said he was, and Swatty told her we had found his horse, and she said
-she would tell him. He came right out. He looked sort of jolly and he
-said: &ldquo;Well, boys, I suppose you are looking for a reward. Did you bring
-old Jenny home?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;We would of but we couldn't. We couldn't get her
-out of the hole.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So he wanted to know what hole and Swatty told him. He told him we had a
-cave up the creek and that it looked like the old mare had walked on top
-of the cave and fell through. He asked if she was hurt and we said she
-wasn't, we guessed, but she wouldn't come out for us. He got his hat.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I'll see about it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, he took us out the back way to the stable and yelled for Jake, and
-Jake came.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Jake,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;these boys have found Jenny, and she's fallen into a
-hole and they can't get her out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right,&rdquo; Jake said; &ldquo;I'll go with them.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-You could have knocked me over with a feather. We hadn't thought of that.
-The doctor started to go back to the house. Then he stopped.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Just wait a minute,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I think I'll go with you. If the mare is
-hurt, I may be able to attend to her right there.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-When the doctor came out with his medicine case we started, and me and
-Swatty pretended to be eager to hurry up. Bony sort of held back behind.
-The doctor talked to us a lot. He was sort of happy and good-natured about
-it, like fat men are, and joked some how far it was. We took him out the
-Graveyard Road and down into the creek bottom and showed him the mouth of
-our cave up the bank.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, well,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;This is mountain climbing indeed! If I had much of
-this to do I'd be a smaller and a better man.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He made me carry his medicine case so he could use both hands, and I went
-first. Then Jake came and then the doctor, and then Swatty and then Bony.
-When we got to the door of the cave I stopped and Jake looked in.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where's the mare?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I don't see no mare.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He turned to look back and the doctor was just behind him, panting pretty
-hard.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What?&rdquo; the doctor asked, and he stepped up. I started to say it was the
-back cave the mare was in, but just then the doctor bumped against me and
-went sort of down on his knees. It was as dark as pitch. Swatty had
-slammed the door shut against the doctor and jolted him into the cave, and
-me and Jake with him. I heard Swatty fastening the cave door, and there we
-were&mdash;me and the doctor and Jake. We were locked in the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was the first one to know what Swatty had done, and I pounded on the
-door and hollered for them to let us out, but they didn't do it. Jake was
-just standing and saying:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll be dumed! I'll be dumed!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What does this mean?&rdquo; Doctor Miller asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-I didn't know what to say, I was so scared. But I didn't have to say
-anything. Jake said it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know mighty well what this means, Doc,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;This is some of Tom
-Foley's work, this is. He's been trying to get me out of the foremanship
-of Fearless Hose No. 2 for the last three years, and we've got the annual
-election to-night. He knows mighty well if I ain't there to-night he can
-put it over on me, and this is his game. I'm mighty sorry you got drug
-into it, Doc; but I'll make him suffer for this when I get out!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He struck a match and saw the food I had brought. He kept striking more
-matches and looking around the cave.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, by Susan!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Look at the food. This is Foley's work&mdash;the
-great big mush! He thinks this is a good joke. I'll show him! Son,&rdquo; he
-said to me, &ldquo;did Foley talk to you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I knew it!&rdquo; Jake said. &ldquo;It's that Swatty kid. He's a terror, he is. Well,
-son, don't you mind; we'll mighty soon get out of here.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I felt a whole lot better. But I guess the doctor didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Get out? How'll we get out?&rdquo; he wanted to know. &ldquo;If your friend Foley
-fixed this up, you may be sure he did not expect you to get out to-night.
-And I've got to get out. I've got two important cases, and I must get
-out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, we'll get out, Doc,&rdquo; said Jake. And he lit another match.
-</p>
-<p>
-He looked at the door and tried it, butting into it with his shoulder. But
-we had fixed it dandy. It didn't give at all. It was like butting a rock.
-He tried it awhile, and then he said, but not so gay: &ldquo;Well, we'll have to
-dig out.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Then, Jake, let us dig,&rdquo; said the doctor. And they dug. I dug too, but
-mostly I only pretended to dig. It was dark in there and you couldn't see,
-and clay isn't anything to dig with your fingers. Jake and the doctor had
-pocket knives, but you know how much you can dig with a pocket knife. But
-they had the right idea. They didn't try to dig through the tunnel, like
-me and Swatty thought they would. They dug around the door.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, when Swatty and Bony had locked us in they went and sat on the bank
-across the creek to see what would happen. Nothing happened. Then Swatty
-got to thinking. He didn't worry about Jake, because Jake was a hired man
-and nobody ever knew when he would get home; but he knew my aunt would
-want to know where I was. That made him think of Mrs. Miller, and she
-would want to know where the doctor was. He was mighty worried. We had
-thought that maybe we could keep the doctor in the cave a couple of weeks
-until everything was all right, but he knew right away that me and Jake
-and the doctor couldn't live on the food I had put in the cave, and he
-knew my aunt would start out to find where I was, and Mrs. Miller to find
-out where Doctor Miller was. He was mighty worried, and he didn't know
-what to do. So he didn't do anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-It turned out like he thought it would. My aunt was mad when I did not
-come home to dinner, and madder when I didn't come home to supper, but
-when I didn't come home at all she was worried almost crazy and she got my
-father to go hunt for me. He hunted awhile, and then he got some other men
-to hunt for me, because he had to go home.
-</p>
-<p>
-They hunted all night. Along toward morning the hunters who were hunting
-for me ran into the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller. They had
-Swatty with them, because Mrs. Miller had said Swatty had come to the
-house and the doctor had gone away with him. They were trying to make
-Swatty tell where the doctor went, but he wouldn't. He just let on like he
-was crying and said he didn't know.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller had just started out,
-because Mrs. Miller hadn't got worried until toward morning, because she
-thought he was attending to his business. But toward morning my father and
-Bony's father came to his house, and it was at their houses Mrs. Miller
-thought Doctor Miller was. So she was frightened and got some men to hunt
-him.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess I went to sleep about ten or eleven o'clock that night while Jake
-find Doctor Miller were still digging. I woke up all of a sudden and there
-I was in the cave, and the door open and men coming in and Doctor Miller
-brushing off his hands. Him and Jake had almost dug a way out, but the
-hunters had got Swatty to tell where we were. So about the first thing I
-heard was a man saying:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Where's that Swatty? Don't let him get away!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But he had got. We didn't see him for about a week. He went over into
-Illinois and got a job with a farmer.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, all the way home Jake kept talking about Tom Foley and what he would
-do to him, and when the hunters heard it they laughed like sixty and said
-it was the best joke they ever heard. They said they would have to hand it
-to Foley&mdash;he was a dandy. So I guess they told Foley so. I guess he
-listened to them and didn't let on, only said he didn't do it, and of
-course they didn't believe him, because he had been elected foreman of
-Fearless Hose No. 2, like Jake had said he would be. So Foley got sort of
-proud of it and let them think. So me and Bony and Swatty never got
-anything, except Swatty got licked for being away for a week, and that was
-all right; it was worth it for the fun we had.
-</p>
-<p>
-But the worst of it was that all of it wasn't any use. We had gone to all
-the work for nothing. We had caved up the wrong doctor. We ought to have
-caved up Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown. Because while we had Doctor
-Miller caved up, and thought we had everything fine and dandy, it was
-Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown who were the ones all the time. When we
-got home from the cave with the hunters there was a new baby at our house
-and one at Bony's house, and they had brought them. And that wasn't the
-worst&mdash;they were both girls. So we had done worse than nothing,
-because if we had left Doctor Miller alone he might, anyway, have brought
-boys.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-IX. THE MURDERERS
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, when we came to find out about it the new babies at my and Bony's
-houses weren't near as hard to bear as we had thought they would be. One
-reason was because they came at vacation time, when we didn't have to go
-to school, and the other was that they didn't make us take them out in
-baby carriages like we was afraid they would. One thing was that they was
-too fresh yet, and the other was that they wouldn't trust them to such
-young hoodlums anyway.
-</p>
-<p>
-At our house Fan spent most of her time loving the new kid, and Lucy and
-Mamie Little didn't do much but hang around and coax to hold the baby a
-minute, and Toady Williams just hung around and waited for Mamie Little to
-come out and play. I guessed that I would never have anything to do with
-Mamie Little again, but that when I got a new girl it would be a different
-kind, like Scratch-Cat. I wished I hadn't got religion, or anything that
-I'd got because of Mamie Little.
-</p>
-<p>
-A lot of us got religion at once, because that's how you usually get it.
-It makes it easier and you don't feel so foolish going up front.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, they had this revival at our church the winter before the vacation
-I'm telling about. When they had it I was having Mamie Little for my
-secret girl and she went up in front, so I got religion and went up in
-front too. But you see I'd ought to have waited, because it made me feel a
-lot worse about murdering a man. Or maybe it didn't. I guess Swatty felt
-almost as bad as I did. We both felt awful bad. Swatty didn't go to our
-church, he went to the German Lutheran church, and nobody in that church
-ever got religion, they just had it. At our church we didn't have it until
-we got it, and mostly we got it when there was a revival meeting, and that
-was when I got it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So, I guess it was a lot worse for me when the thing happened that I'm
-going to tell you, because I had religion and Swatty hadn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the way it happened was this way: I'm awfully croupy. I don't know
-anybody that's as croupy as I am, so they rub hot goose grease on me when
-I get to honking and then make me swallow a lot out of a spoon, and that
-was all right when I was little enough so they could hold my nose, but
-after I got big Mother said she wouldn't struggle with me another time,
-and she changed and gave me a dime a spoonful. So I took the old stuff
-because if I hadn't took it Father would have licked me, and I'd have had
-to take it anyway. So I got a dime a spoonful. So I bought a target rifle
-with the money, when I had enough, and then the rifle got broke and I
-couldn't get it fixed until my mother gave me three dollars because I had
-been such a good boy when the new baby came.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then all the kids were coming over to my yard to shoot all the time&mdash;Swatty
-and Bony and the whole lot of them&mdash;and we shot at tin cans and
-things against the barn, but we weren't any of us very good shooters. I
-guess Swatty was the best. Or maybe I was about as good as he was.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was all right, and I guess nobody cared anything, only Mother was
-always putting her head out of the window and saying, &ldquo;Boys, do be careful
-with that gun!&rdquo; So one day Swatty come over, like he always does, and he
-says, &ldquo;Say! we can't shoot the rifle any more!&rdquo; And I says, &ldquo;Why can't
-we?&rdquo; And Swatty says, &ldquo;They made a law that we can't.&rdquo; And I says, &ldquo;Who
-made a law that we can't?&rdquo; And Swatty says, &ldquo;The city council made a law
-that nobody can shoot inside the city limits.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I guessed they had, because that winter they had made a law we couldn't
-slide down Third Street hill, and if they made a law like that they might
-make almost any kind of a law. So Swatty says, &ldquo;If we want to shoot we've
-got to go outside the city limits.&rdquo; And I said&mdash;I don't know what I
-said but I guess I said that was so.
-</p>
-<p>
-So, anyway, we didn't shoot in my yard any more, and that wasn't our fault
-but the fault of the city council. So that was one of the things we
-thought of after we killed the man; but it didn't seem to make us feel
-much better, like you'd think it would. I guess there wasn't anything
-could make us feel better. Nobody wants to be hanged unless he has to be,
-I guess.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, it was vacation time, anyway, and we didn't want to shoot all the
-time because part of the time we wanted to do something else. Only when we
-wanted to go rowing on the river we took the rifle along anyway, because
-sometimes we rowed up beyond the city limits and then it was all right to
-shoot if we wanted to.
-</p>
-<p>
-So one day me and Swatty and Bony we went up the river in a skiff. We
-always hired a skiff from old Higgins because it was ten cents an hour or
-three hours for a quarter from him, and Rogers charged ten cents straight.
-So when we got into the skiff and Higgins gave us the oars he said, &ldquo;Well,
-boys, have a good time, but don't shoot anybody with that cannon.&rdquo; And we
-said, all right, we wouldn't. We took turns rowing, like we always did,
-and pretty soon we got to the Slough, and we rowed in and shot at turtles
-awhile, and then Bony said, &ldquo;Gee! the mosquitoes are eating me up,&rdquo; and
-they were eating all of us up, so we floated out onto the river and just
-floated. We threw the bailing can over and shot at it until it went down,
-and just about then we were going past the old shanty boat, and we began
-to shoot at that.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was up on the mud and partly sunk into it and the hull was so rotten
-you could kick a hole in it, and it wasn't anybody's anyway. Everybody had
-thrown stones at the windows in the side and broken them and nobody cared,
-I guess; but nobody had broken all the windows in the end toward the
-river, because that end was toward the river, so we shot at the windows.
-At first we couldn't hit them and we drifted below, but we rowed back
-again and in closer and then we all hit them. We hit them a lot of times,
-until they were all smashed out, and we began to say who had hit the most
-times, and Swatty said, &ldquo;Let's go ashore and see who is the best shot. I
-bet I am.&rdquo; So we went.
-</p>
-<p>
-So we shot at cans and things, and Swatty was the best shot, and then
-nobody said anything but we just thought we'd go on the shanty boat for
-fun. We climbed up on the little front deck, and Bony was first, and
-Swatty was next, and then I come. So Bony pushed the door open and looked
-in, and he stood there looking in and didn't move, and then, all at once
-he made a sound&mdash;well, I don't know what kind of sound it was. It was
-a frightened sound. I guess it was like the sound a rabbit makes when you
-step on it by mistake. And then he turned, and his face was so scary it
-frightened me and Swatty and we turned and jumped off the front deck onto
-the railroad bank; but Bony jumped sideways off the deck and landed on the
-cracked crust that was over the mud the shanty boat was stuck in. He went
-right through the crust and over his knees in the mud, but me and Swatty
-was so scared we started to run down the railroad track as fast as we
-could.
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon we stopped, because the sand between the ties was full of
-sandburs, and then we didn't know what we were running for, so we looked
-back. Bony was sort of swimming on top of the mud crust and he was crying
-as hard as he could cry, but not loud. He was trying to get away from the
-shanty boat as fast as he could, and every time he got a foot out of the
-mud and tried to step he broke through the crust again, so he sort of laid
-on the crust and bellied along. He looked like an alligator swimming in
-the mud, and he was crying like an alligator, too. Only I guess it is
-crocodiles that cry. Bony was trying to get to the skiff, and Swatty knew
-that if Bony got there before we did he would get in the skiff and go home
-and leave us. So we picked the sandburs out of our feet and tried to
-hurry, but Bony got to the skiff and got in and pushed off.
-</p>
-<p>
-We ran and hollered, but he didn't stop. He was so frightened that the
-oars jumped out from between the pins almost every time he pulled on them,
-and he was crying hard; but he rowed the boat pretty fast because he was
-working his arms so hard. Swatty and me hollered at him and told him what
-we would do to him if he didn't come back, but it didn't do any good. He
-was too scared. All he wanted to do was to get away.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we tried to throw stones at him, to bring him back, but we couldn't
-throw that far and we just stood and watched him row down-river as hard as
-he could.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say, what do you think he saw in there?&rdquo; Swatty said after while.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know what he saw,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What do you think he saw?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know what he saw, but I'm going to see what he saw,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty was always like that. If anybody saw anything he wanted to see it
-too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I ain't afraid to see it,&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I ain't afraid if you ain't afraid,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So we climbed up on the deck of the shanty house again. We climbed up
-careful and went to the door and peeked in.
-</p>
-<p>
-As soon as I had the first peek I turned, and jumped off the deck and
-started to run, but Swatty just stood and looked. I hollered at him. I
-guess I was crying, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Swatty! Swatty, come on! Oh, Swatty, come on, Swatty!&rdquo; I hollered.
-</p>
-<p>
-He turned his head and looked at me and then he looked back into the
-shanty boat. All he said to me was, &ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess you know what we saw when we looked into the shanty boat. There
-was almost a whole page about it in the paper later on. He&mdash;the man&mdash;was
-lying there on the floor of the shanty boat in the broken bottles and
-straw and the dry mud that had sifted in when the river was high. He was
-lying on his face with his feet to the door and he was sort of crumpled up
-with one hand stretched out. He was dead. One side of his face was up and
-there was blood from the place in his forehead where he had been shot. It
-was on the floor.
-</p>
-<p>
-I didn't dare run away without Swatty, because I guess I was as scared as
-Bony had been, and I didn't dare go back to the shanty boat, so I just
-stood, and all at once I began to shake all over, the same as a wet kitten
-shakes in cold weather. I couldn't help shaking. I felt pretty sick. But
-most of all I was scared.
-</p>
-<p>
-I thought Swatty was going to stand there forever, looking into the shanty
-boat, but pretty soon he went inside, and that shows he's as brave as he
-always brags he is. I wouldn't have gone in for a million billion
-quadrillion dollars. In a minute he come out and he dropped off the end of
-the deck and sort of crouched low. He kept crouched low as he come up the
-railroad bank, and he crouched low when he dodged down the other side, so
-I crouched low, too, and went down the other side of the railroad bank.
-And when Swatty come up to me I saw he was scared, too, but he wasn't
-scared the way I was. I was just scared because I'd seen a dead man, but
-Swatty was frightened.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was a lot of tall ragweed and a pile of railroad ties in the bottom
-of the cut along side the railroad track, and Swatty went right in close
-to the pile of ties where the ragweed hid everything and he sat down
-there. He looked pretty frightened.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;we killed him.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That was the first I'd thought that we'd killed the dead man; but the
-minute Swatty said it I knew we had killed him by shooting through the
-windows of the shanty boat. I couldn't shake any more than I had been
-shaking so I just kept on shaking like I had been, but I got sicker at my
-stomach. When I was through being sick Swatty he got mad.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Stop shaking like that!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;We've gone and done it and we've got
-to think what we 're going to do about it. Stop shaking and help me
-think.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I c-c-c-can't stop sh-sh-sh-shaking!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I w-w-w-would if I
-c-c-c-c-could, w-w-w-wouldn't I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you've got to stop shaking,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;If you go shaking all
-around town like that everybody will know we did it. If you don't stop
-shaking I'll lick you!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I began to cry. I didn't cry because Swatty said he'd lick me but because
-I just had to cry. So Swatty tried to make me stop shivering. He took the
-backbone of my neck in his thumb and fingers and pinched it hard, because
-you can stop hiccoughs that way; but it didn't do any good. So he got
-madder.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What are you shaking for, anyway?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;I ain't shaking.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;W-well, y-y-you h-h-haven't got r-r-religion,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It's w-w-worse
-for anybody that's g-g-g-got r-r-religion to kill anybody.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, he hauled off and hit me. He hit me in the jaw, and then he said
-what I wouldn't let anybody say about my getting religion, and I fought
-him. Then we stopped fighting and I was still shaking, but not so bad.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yah! Little sissy boy got religion!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Little sissy boy went and
-got religion 'cause he's stuck on Mamie Little!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, that did make me mad! I lit into him, and we had another good fight,
-and pretty soon he said, &ldquo;'Nuff!&rdquo; and I stopped. So I started to tell him
-what I'd do to him if he ever said that again. I was crying, I guess.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's all right,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I just said it on purpose. I just said it to
-make you fight. You ain't shaking now.&rdquo; And I wasn't. I'd got so mad I
-forgot to shake. So, as Swatty had just said what he said on purpose, I
-didn't care. So I stopped crying.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now you've got some sense,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Don't you get that way again.
-We don't want to get hung, do we?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I hadn't thought of that. Of course they would hang us if they found out
-we'd killed the man in the shanty boat, and it made us pretty sober. I
-guess I began to cry again.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, shut up!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;If you're going to blubber all the time, and
-not try to help, I wish I'd killed that man all by myself. You shut up and
-try to help me think what to do, or I'll go and tell everybody you killed
-him.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You won't do it!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, I will,&rdquo; he said back. &ldquo;And I'll prove it on you. You didn't look at
-that man and I did, and I know what kind of a man he is.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What kind of a man is he?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He's a tough kind,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;And if you don't shut up your bawling
-I'll say you and him got into an argument about religion, and you shot him
-because he wouldn't come and join in with you and get it. And folks will
-believe that, because you've just got it, and there ain't any other reason
-why any of us should kill him. I haven't got religion, have I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, for I saw Swatty could do like he said, &ldquo;what are we going
-to do, anyway?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We've got to keep from getting arrested and put into jail and hung,&rdquo;
- Swatty said. &ldquo;I don't know how, but we've got to. We've got to be careful,
-and not let anybody know we shot that man. If they find it out they'll
-hang us sure.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We didn't mean to shoot him,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;We had a right to shoot outside
-the city limits.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We didn't have a right to shoot anybody,&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;We had a right to
-see if there was anybody in the shanty boat before we shot at it. We'll
-all three be hung if they find out we did it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I had an idea just then, but I didn't say it to Swatty. I didn't
-really think it, it just come. I knew as soon as I thought it that I
-wouldn't be so mean, and I knew Swatty wouldn't either. But it would have
-been easy enough for me and Swatty to say Bony did it. We was two to one.
-Maybe I would have said it if I hadn't got religion. But it made me feel
-better for a while to think that I'd thought it and hadn't said it. So the
-next thing I thought was that it would be mighty noble and true and
-religious if I'd go to the mayor or somebody and just say: &ldquo;I killed a man
-up there at the old shanty boat on the river, but nobody is to blame but
-me. Swatty ain't and Bony ain't, so go ahead and hang me. I did it, and it
-was my target rifle.&rdquo; But I thought that if I was going to be hung I'd not
-feel as lonesome if Swatty and Bony got hung too. Anyway, Swatty started
-to talk, and I forgot it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If Bony hadn't gone off with the skiff,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;we'd be all right.
-We'd get in the skiff and row out to the middle of the river and lay flat
-in it, and nobody would see us. We could float down the river as far as we
-wanted to and hide in a cane-brake or somewhere. Or maybe, we'd row up the
-Missouri and hide in the Rocky Mountains. If they got after us we could
-turn bandits or something.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You could,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;but I couldn't.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I forgot you'd got religion,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You'd have to start a ranch. But
-we can't do that, because Bony went off with the skiff.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-What we decided was that nobody would be apt to find the dead man that
-day. Maybe they'd never find him. Unless somebody like us happened to go
-into the old shanty boat he might never get found, and then, the next
-spring, when the Mississippi had her spring flood, or that same fall, if
-the water got high enough, we could come up and float the old shanty boat
-out of the mud and take her out in the river and sink her. We talked over
-a lot of things, and the more we talked the more it didn't seem so bad. It
-looked as if we had a chance not to get hung, after all.
-</p>
-<p>
-I wanted to cut across the cornfield to the hill and go home that way, so
-that if anybody saw us they'd think we had been up in the woods and not
-near the shanty boat, but Swatty said that wouldn't do because our
-footprints would show in the cornfield, and detectives would trace us by
-them if they started out to find who murdered the man. He said it would be
-more innocent to go right down the railroad track, and if anybody asked us
-anything to say we hadn't been as far up as the shanty boat, and that Bony
-had got a stomach ache or something and gone home first with the boat. So
-we did that. We walked down the track. We talked about the murder all the
-time, and the more we talked the surer we were nobody would think we did
-it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we got to my gate all right, and Swatty and me crossed our hearts we
-wouldn't say anything about killing the man, and I tried to think how I'd
-act so nobody at home would think anything different than they always did,
-and I went into the house. It was pretty late. They were eating supper. So
-I went in and sat down, and Father scolded me a little for being late,
-like he does nearly every day, and then he said something else.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Son,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;after supper you'll get that target rifle of yours and
-turn it over to me.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I almost jumped out of my skin, I was so scared.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now, you needn't begin any of that,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I mean what I say. Do you
-know who was shot today?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I was so scared I couldn't swallow my piece of meat. I choked on it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, sir!&rdquo; I said, pretty weakly.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, Benny Judge shot his little sister,&rdquo; said my father. &ldquo;Only by the
-greatest luck she wasn't killed. As it is she has a bullet in her arm.
-Now, mind! I want that rifle.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I was glad and I was scared stiff, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-I had left the target rifle on the rocks up by the shanty boat. I began to
-shake again because I knew somebody would find the target rifle and it had
-my initials on it, and when they found the dead man they would know I
-killed him. I guess my teeth chattered. Anyway I couldn't think of
-anything at all. I just wished I was dead, because after supper Father
-would want the rifle, and I didn't have it, and some one would find it and
-I would be hung.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then Mother saw me shake, and she said, &ldquo;What's the matter? Are you cold?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Y-y-yes'm,&rdquo; I said. Well, it wasn't a lie. I was sort of cold.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Father, the poor child is sick,&rdquo; Mother said. &ldquo;See him chatter his
-teeth.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Father looked at me. &ldquo;Malaria,&rdquo; he said. So he asked me if I had been
-up to the Slough, because he had been reading in a magazine about Slough
-mosquitoes biting you and giving you malaria. I didn't know what to say.
-It didn't look good to say I had been up there so near the old shanty
-boat, and I didn't like to lie about it, because I was on probation for
-getting religion. So I didn't say anything. I just shivered and chattered
-my teeth.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Huh!&rdquo; my father said. &ldquo;I knew well enough something was the matter with
-that boy when he got religion. He's had this malaria spell coming on. Put
-him to bed and give him a big dose of quinine.&rdquo; And then he said to me,
-&ldquo;Just let me catch you up near that Slough again, understand? Get to bed,
-and quick! This family is just one thing after another!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I got to bed pretty quick and Mother gave me one of the big capsules. She
-heated the scorched blanket at the kitchen stove and wrapped me up in it
-and put all the bed covers she could find on top of me. I started to sweat
-right away. So she said, &ldquo;If you want anything I'll leave the door open
-and you can call me,&rdquo; and she went down again. She told Father she guessed
-I was pretty sick because I looked like it, and all he said was, &ldquo;Huh!
-boys!&rdquo; And I guessed he was right, and I made up my mind to live a better
-and truer life, but I kept thinking of the man we had killed. I never
-sweat so much in my life.
-</p>
-<p>
-All at once the doorbell rang and I sat right up in bed. I thought the
-police had come for me. But it wasn't the police; it was something just as
-bad&mdash;almost. It was old Higgins, the skiff man. He was talking to
-Father. He asked him if I had got home all right. So Father said I had,
-and I was sick and in bed. Then old Higgins said, &ldquo;Well, I don't know what
-to make of it. Nobody brought my skiff back. Your boy and two other boys
-hired it off of me, and when it got late and they didn't bring it back I
-got frightened. You ask him where he left my skiff, and if they lost it
-somebody's got to pay me back for it.&rdquo; Well, I was mighty scared. I
-guessed Bony had been so scared he had upset the skiff and got drowned,
-and maybe me and Swatty would get hung for that, too, though we did throw
-rocks at Bony to try to get him to come back. But, anyway, me and Swatty
-would have to tell why Bony had gone off in the skiff alone, and then they
-would know everything, and take us to jail and hang us. I crawled down
-under the covers and pretended to be asleep, but it wasn't any use,
-because Father shook me by the shoulder.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now, what?&rdquo; he said, cross. &ldquo;Here's Higgins, the skiff man, and he says
-you hired a skiff and didn't bring it back. What's the meaning of all
-this? And are you putting on this malaria on this account? Explain, young
-man!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I sat up and I said, &ldquo;Bony took it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come, now, explain!&rdquo; my father said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, we was up the river,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;and me and Swatty and Bony got out
-of the skiff and&mdash;and we went ashore. So&mdash;so&mdash;then me and
-Swatty, we run down the railroad track a little way and&mdash;and when we
-looked back Bony was going to get into the skiff, and we hollered for him
-to wait for us, but he wouldn't. He got into it and rowed away.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And left you there?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, sir.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess he didn't believe it. I guess he thought I was just trying to put
-it onto Bony, to get out of it myself. He forgot I'd got religion, I
-guess. So he snapped his fingers the way he does when he's mad.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Get out of that bed and get into your clothes and make haste about it!&rdquo;
- he said, and I said, &ldquo;Yes, sir!&rdquo; and I got out of bed right away. I
-dressed quick.
-</p>
-<p>
-Mother cried because it was wrong to make a sick boy dress and go over to
-Bony's house out of a sweat and I'd catch pneumonia; but I had to go. So
-nobody said anything on the way over, except Mr. Higgins tried to talk
-about what nice weather we were having, but Father wouldn't talk. I didn't
-like to go, because&mdash;well, I thought all Bony's folks would be crying
-because he was drowned when we got there; but of course if you think about
-it, they wouldn't know. So when we got to their house they weren't crying,
-but Mr. Booth&mdash;he was Bony's father&mdash;just come to the door in
-his socks and said, &ldquo;Well, what is it now?&rdquo; because I was there, and he
-knew something was the matter or I wouldn't be there with my father. So
-Father said, &ldquo;Did your son come home?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, he come home,&rdquo; Mr. Booth said, &ldquo;but he ain't well, and Ma put him to
-bed.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I was glad he wasn't drowned, anyway. Unless he'd told about the dead man,
-and then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he had been drowned. So
-Father and Mr. Higgins told about the skiff, and Mr. Booth sent Bony's ma
-to up ask Bony. Pretty soon she came down.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He's pretty sick,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;He's complaining of pains in his arms and
-back and he's shaking like he had the ague; but I hope not, because his
-temp'ature ain't high. I guess maybe he caught a chill. And he tied the
-skiff under the creek bridge. He left the oars in it. But he shall never
-again play with those two boys! Never again! The idea of them running off
-and leaving my poor child to row home all alone!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, that was a lie, but I wasn't sore at Bony because he's a coward and
-it was better for him to tell a lie like that than to blab about the dead
-man. Anyway, a fellow has to tell some lies until he gets religion. After
-that it's different.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;So you've been lying to me again!&rdquo; Father said to me, but I didn't say
-anything. Saying it was a lie didn't make it a lie, and all he could do
-was lick me, anyway. But he didn't lick me, because he thought maybe I did
-have malaria because I'd got religion. I guess that was what he thought.
-So Mr. Higgins said, &ldquo;Never mind, I'll get the skiff, but it will be about
-a dollar.&rdquo; So Father paid him and said he would take it out of my
-allowance; but he hardly ever paid me my allowance, anyway, so that was
-all right. He just gave me an allowance so he could say he wouldn't pay it
-to me, I guess. Anyway, we went home.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I stayed awake for hours, thinking about the murder and what we had
-better do about it, but maybe it was only a few minutes, and the next
-morning Swatty came over before I was out of bed. He waited for me in the
-side yard until I come down.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;have you thought of anything to do?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I hadn't thought of anything except maybe I'd better go to the minister
-and tell him all about it. So Swatty said if I did that he would knock my
-head off, and I knew he would, if he could.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, have you thought of anything, then?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-So he told me he had sat up all night thinking about it. He said he had
-paced the floor with his hands behind him and his brow knotted in thought
-throughout the still hours of the night until cockcrow. I thought he was
-lying, but I didn't tell him so. I told him I went to sleep, and I told
-him about Bony and Mr. Higgins. I told him about the rifle we had left on
-the rocks. He said that complicated matters, but we would have to make the
-best of it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then he showed me the braided horsehair bridle he had in his pocket that
-his uncle had brought back from Texas, and the wooden tobacco pipe he had
-in the other pocket. He said we might have gone to Texas, only somebody in
-Texas might recognize the bridle and know it was the one his uncle had
-had, and then know him and connect him up with the murder in the shanty
-boat, so we would go to Montana or maybe New Mexico. He was n't sure which
-we would go to, but that it would be better to start right away.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I didn't like to leave home and never come back until I was a big
-man with a beard, and the murder was forgotten about, but it seemed the
-only thing to do. I talked and Swatty talked, and it seemed the only way
-we could keep from being hung, because &ldquo;murder will out,&rdquo; as it says in
-our reader. I only had twenty-five cents that I hadn't paid Mr. Higgins
-for the skiff, and Swatty only had fourteen cents. We knew that was n't
-nearly enough money. We didn't know what Bony had, but afterward we found
-he only had a dime. But Swatty said we could get work to do in some of the
-places we would get to, and we could steal green com and roast it&mdash;only
-he would have to steal it, because it wouldn't be right for me.
-</p>
-<p>
-We thought the best thing to do would be to start out of our back gate and
-go due west, and keep going west until we came to Montana or New Mexico,
-or wherever we got to, only we had to get the rifle first, because if we
-left it, it would be evidence against us, and anyway we might kill some
-game with it. We had it all fixed up how we would do, and just then Bony
-came over the back fence, and we told it all over again. We didn't think
-he would go with us, but he said he would.
-</p>
-<p>
-So we talked it all over, and it wasn't like any other time we had ever
-talked anything over. Most times we just talked about running away but we
-didn't mean it, but this time it was a mighty serious thing and we meant
-it. Other times when we talked we were afraid to run away, but this time
-we were afraid not to. It was almost noon when we got ready to go, and
-just as we were going Mother saw us and called us back. She asked me if we
-were going to the woods, and we were, so I said we were, and she said we
-oughtn't to go without lunch, so she made us sandwiches, and we were glad
-to have them. I said &ldquo;Good-bye, Mother,&rdquo; and she said &ldquo;Good-bye, son,&rdquo; and
-she didn't know that maybe it was the last time she'd ever say it to me,
-but I knew it because maybe she would grow old and die before I ever came
-back.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we started off. We didn't talk much&mdash;even Swatty didn't. We
-went past his barn, and he went in to say good-bye to his dog, but we
-didn't dare take him along, because somebody might know us by him, so he
-whined and cried when we went away. We didn't say anything much until we
-got to the city limits and then Swatty said, &ldquo;Well, anyway, now the town
-police can't touch us, because we are out of town, and they can't touch
-anybody out of town&rdquo;, and Bony began to cry.
-</p>
-<p>
-But he didn't cry loud&mdash;he just sort of sniggered to himself and
-wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I guess maybe I cried, too, but
-not very loud, either.
-</p>
-<p>
-If it hadn't been for being hung I would have gone back, and I would have
-told the minister all about killing the man, because I kept thinking about
-Mamie Little and that some other boy would play with her and grow up and
-marry her, and maybe I'd never see her again, even if he didn't marry her.
-Swatty was the only one that didn't cry a little. He didn't have to,
-because he let on to be mad at us for being mushies, and he swore instead.
-He swore at me and Bony, and I could have kept from crying, too, if I
-could have swore, but I couldn't because I gave it up when I got religion.
-</p>
-<p>
-After we got beyond the houses that are beyond the city limits we went
-across the vacant lots and across the old fair grounds and down over the
-hill. We got down to the river road and climbed over the fence and got
-under the bob-wire fence on the other side of the road and went through
-the cornfield. We forgot about our footprints.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we got to the edge of the cornfield Bony wouldn't go any farther. He
-was scared to go any nearer the dead man. Swatty and me crawled under the
-wires and went across the railroad track, and before we were across them
-we dodged back into the cut alongside the track, and Swatty dropped flat
-in the weeds. So I dropped flat, too. The reason was that there were eight
-or ten men on the front deck of the shanty house, and I don't know how
-many more inside.
-</p>
-<p>
-They had found the man we had murdered.
-</p>
-<p>
-We just lay there and held our breath. I couldn't think of anything, I was
-so scared again. I just remembered how &ldquo;murder will out,&rdquo; and how a
-murderer will always come back to where he murdered anybody, and that
-there we were, and that as soon as they saw us they'd know we were the
-murderers, because we had come back. I don't know what Swatty was doing,
-and I didn't know what I was doing, but I guess as soon as I was able
-I-started to try to dig a hole in the railroad embankment with my finger
-nails, to crawl into and hide, because that was what I was doing when I
-heard the men come up the other side of the embankment.
-</p>
-<p>
-They were coming up from the shanty boat, and one of the men was saying,
-&ldquo;Steady now! Keep that door level, can't you?&rdquo; So I couldn't dig any more.
-My fingers wouldn't work. My arms and legs felt as if they were full of
-cold ice water, and I couldn't lift up my hands to put my hat on tighter,
-which I wanted to do because I could feel my hair lifting up and lifting
-my hat up. I didn't think about being hung or anything, but just how awful
-it would be if the men let the door tip and rolled the murdered man down
-on top of us. I guess I ought to have thought of how innocent I was, but I
-didn't. I didn't even think of being religious. I just felt my backbone
-creep and my hair lift up and my arms and legs get colder and colder.
-</p>
-<p>
-We heard the men carrying the dead man away. I couldn't move, and I guess
-I would never have dared to move again if it hadn't been for Swatty. As
-soon as we couldn't hear the men any more Swatty lifted his head and
-crawled up the embankment and looked. I wouldn't have done it for a
-million billion quadrillion dollars. He looked, and when he saw they
-weren't thinking of us, but were all looking at the dead man on the door
-and going away from us down the railroad track he scrabbled up the rest of
-the embankment and scrabbled across the track and down the other side. He
-was back right away, with the target rifle, and then he told me to get up
-and get away from there, but I couldn't get up. So he kicked me two or
-three times hard, and when he kicked me on my hip bone I got mad and
-forgot to be so scared and got up. We ran through the cornfield and got
-Bony, and all three of us got across the road and ran up the hillside into
-the woods as hard as we could run.
-</p>
-<p>
-I don't know how many miles we ran. We ran until we had to fall down
-because our legs wouldn't work any more. We sat in the bushes awhile and
-rested, and then we went on, but we walked mostly. We only ran once in a
-while. We came to a road we didn't know, but it went sort of west; and we
-went on down that road a long way and that night we slept in a haystack&mdash;not
-because it was cold but to be hid. The next morning we went on again, and
-before noon we were mighty hungry. Bony was hungriest, and he cried a lot,
-and I cried a little, but Swatty was willing to fight us whenever we
-wanted to stop and rest too long, because it wasn't safe yet. We were a
-long way from Arizona or Montana or wherever we were going, and it was
-just about the time the sheriff and everybody would start out to find us
-if they thought we were the murderers. We just plugged along and felt mean
-and tired, and I thought about Mother and Mamie Little a lot. I felt so
-bad I almost didn't care if they did catch me and hang me. That's the way
-Bony felt, too, but Swatty kept us going.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty went up to a house about supper time and asked for some bread and
-butter, and he got it and brought part of it to us. Then he made us go on,
-because he said we ought to get as far from that house as we could after
-we'd been seen there. So we went until I was ready to die, and we found a
-hayrick in a field and we were just going to hide in it when three men on
-horseback and some in a buggy&mdash;two more&mdash;came up the road and
-saw us and shouted at us.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we knew it was all up. The men started to climb over the fence, and
-we walked toward them because we knew we couldn't get away, and it was
-just as well to be hung as to be shot trying to run away. I guess it was
-the most awful feeling I ever had in my life.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we got up to them one of the men was Swatty's father and another was
-my minister. As soon as Swatty got there his father took him by the collar
-of his coat, and shook him and hit him on the side of the head and told
-him what he thought of him for running away and making so much trouble;
-but when he let go of him Swatty just dropped down on the grass and shut
-his eyes, because he was so played out that all he had to be was shook,
-and he went unconscious. So Bony started to cry and the minister said,
-&ldquo;Shame!&rdquo; and then Swatty's father got red in the face, and dropped on his
-knees beside Swatty and picked him up and kissed him. He cried. It was the
-first time I ever saw a man cry.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then I guessed I'd confess the whole thing to my minister, and I did.
-The other men were all trying to get Swatty to open his eyes and my
-minister listened to me. He listened to all of it&mdash;all about the
-murder and all. Then he put his hand on my shoulder, and he said, &ldquo;You
-poor boy! And you thought I was hunting you down?&rdquo; And I said, &ldquo;How long
-will it be before they hang us?&rdquo; And he said, &ldquo;George, I hope you will
-never be hung, because that man wasn't murdered. He was a suicide, and he
-wrote a letter about it before he went to do it.&rdquo; So I started to say how
-glad I was and, when I come to, I was at a farmhouse and my minister was
-trying to get me to drink some milk.
-</p>
-<p>
-So after while we went home. Father wasn't there, because he was out with
-some other folks hunting for us, but Mother and Fan and a lot of people
-were, and my minister told them all about it, and the women all cried to
-think of us three all alone with a murder on our minds and our legs tired,
-I guess, and not much to eat. But I was so tired I didn't care. I was so
-tired I didn't care who was there. I was so tired I was n't even glad I
-wasn't a murderer. Then somebody came out from behind the women where she
-had been, where they wouldn't notice her much, and she didn't look at me
-or anybody. She just said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I guess I'll go home now.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, Mamie Little, have you been waiting up all this while?&rdquo; my mother
-said. &ldquo;You should be in bed, child.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So she didn't look at me, and I didn't look at her. She just went home.
-But then I knew I was glad I wasn't a murderer. Because I knew that Mamie
-Little wouldn't have thought I'd got religion very good if all I'd got let
-me go around murdering men in shanty boats. And I didn't want Mamie Little
-to think that about me, because&mdash;well, I didn't know why, I just
-thought it.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-X. SLIM FINNEGAN
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, I guess the nearest Swatty ever came to having a lot of money was
-the time Mr. Murphy got it and Swatty didn't. It was a thousand and five
-hundred dollars, and if Swatty didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have
-had it; and if Mamie Little didn't get it I ought to have had it; but we
-didn't any of us get it, because Mr. Murphy got it.
-</p>
-<p>
-I told you about the time Mamie Little got mad at me because I had been
-prohibition and changed over to anti-prohibition because Swatty could lick
-me, and about how her father had the prohibition newspaper. Well, he kept
-publishing in his newspaper that the saloons ought to be closed; so one
-day somebody blew up Mr. Little's house with dynamite&mdash;only it was
-gunpowder. But they called it dynamite. They called the men that blew up
-the house the dynamiters. They blew up two other houses, too, and that was
-why Mr. Murphy was in town. He was a detective. He came and worked in the
-sawmill, and nobody knew he was a detective until he got the money me or
-Swatty or Mamie Little ought to have had.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony was sitting on the empty manure bin back of our
-barn, smoking cornsilk cigarettes, and that reminded us of the time we
-were up the river smoking driftwood grapevine cigarettes, when we saw Slim
-Finnegan steal the gunpowder, and we got to talking about it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if anybody ever finds out Slim Finnegan stole it he won't stab me!&rdquo;
- Swatty said; &ldquo;because he wouldn't think I told on him, because I ain't
-prohibition and I never was; and I guess Slim and everybody knows it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So that made me and Bony feel pretty scared, because everybody knew Slim
-Finnegan was a stabber. He'd just as soon stab you as not. I don't
-remember whether he ever had stabbed anybody; but I guess he had, because
-everybody said so. Anyway, he was always showing us the knife he stabbed
-fellers with when he wanted to stab them, and he said he'd stab any of us
-for two cents. The knife had a staghorn handle and a six-inch blade, with
-a curve in it and a spring in the back that, when you pressed it, snapped
-the blade open all ready to stab with.
-</p>
-<p>
-Once, when he met me when I was alone, he grabbed me by the neck and
-backed me against a fence post, and pulled out the knife and opened it. I
-bellered and said: &ldquo;Aw, lemme alone, Slim! I never done nothin' to you!&rdquo;
- And he said he knew mighty well I hadn't and that I'd better not try to,
-because he was a stabber, and if I did anything he didn't like he'd cut my
-heart out and leave it sticking to the fence post with the knife in it, to
-show fellers not to monkey with Slim Finnegan. So I said I'd never, never
-do anything he didn't want me to, and please to let me go. So he said,
-well, he guessed he'd stab me, anyway, while he had me; and he put the
-point of his knife against my stomach and leaned up against me, so that
-all he had to do was lean a little harder against the handle of the knife
-and I'd be stabbed.
-</p>
-<p>
-I thought I was going to be killed, sure. I held my breath, and my bones
-felt like water; and just then he laughed at me and bumped my head against
-the post three times and threw me down on the grass and went away.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was before me and Swatty and Bony saw him set the lumber yard afire
-too. After we saw him set the lumber yard afire we were all more scared of
-him than ever; even Swatty was scared of him, and said so. When we saw him
-set the lumber yard afire Slim was in our class at school; but he was
-twice as big as anybody in our room, because he only went to school when
-he wanted to and he didn't want to very often; and after the fire he quit
-going to school. I guess he went bumming for a while.
-</p>
-<p>
-The first I knew about Slim Finnegan was when I was a little bit of a kid
-and not big enough to ride belly buster or knee gut on a sled or slide
-down the big hills. I had a high sled and rode on it sitting down, and
-rode from the sidewalk into the gutter, and things like that. So my father
-got me a new sled on my birthday, a clipper sled with half-round irons,
-and it was painted red and was named Dexter. I took it out on the hill
-where the big kids were sliding and tried to ride belly buster on it,
-which is lying flat on your stomach and steering with both feet, like knee
-gut is lying on one knee and steering with the other foot, but the runners
-on my sled were so slick that when I put the sled down it slid away before
-I could get onto it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I was trying that when Slim Finnegan came up. I hadn't ever seen him
-before, but he acted nice and said the way I was trying to get onto the
-sled wasn't the right way and he would show me how. So he took my sled and
-ran away and belly busted onto it. He went down the hill like a flash. I
-watched him until I couldn't tell which was Slim and which was some other
-feller, away down the hill, and then I couldn't tell any one from any
-other, and I waited for him to come back. One feller came up the hill, and
-then another and dozens came up, but Slim didn't come back with my sled;
-and after a while I began to blubber the way kids do, and a girl I didn't
-know took me by the arm and led me home, saying, &ldquo;Don't cry, Georgie!
-Don't cry, Georgie!&rdquo; all the way.
-</p>
-<p>
-So the girl told my mother somebody had stolen my sled, and that was the
-first I knew it was stolen. When my father came home he asked me what the
-boy was like that took my sled and I told him, and he went out and after a
-long time he came back and he had my sled. It was all painted over with
-fresh drab paint except where my father had scraped the paint off to show
-that it was my sled. He said: &ldquo;That drunken Finnegan's dirty son stole
-it!&rdquo; So that was the first I knew of Slim Finnegan.
-</p>
-<p>
-When I got old enough to play away from the house I mighty soon knew that
-Slim Finnegan was the feller that would sneak up on us little kids when we
-were playing marbles and grab up our marbles and steal them and, if we
-said anything, twist our arms behind us until we yelled. He was the one
-that would sit in the long grass out in the field when we played ball and,
-if the ball came near him, grab it up and put it in his pocket and laugh
-at us. He was the one that, if he came on us when we were fishing, would
-throw our worm can in the Slough and take the fish we had caught, and then
-swear at us. He was a sneak and a thief and a tough, and his father was a
-tough and a drunkard; and it wasn't safe to send your washing to Mrs.
-Finnegan because sometimes she got drunk and didn't do it for a week, and
-sometimes it didn't all come back.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty said that Slim Finnegan wouldn't stab him, because he was
-anti-prohibition and Slim was too; so Bony thought maybe he'd better turn
-anti-prohibition, and he did. And I hoped Slim knew I had turned, but I
-was afraid he didn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, one day that spring&mdash;but pretty late&mdash;me and Swatty and
-Bony went down to the levee and hired a skiff from Higgins like we always
-did; and we rowed across the Mississippi to the Illinois shore above the
-old ferry landing. I guess maybe we were after turtle eggs; so when we saw
-the shore was all mud Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Let's row up to the head of the Slough and row down the Slough.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What for?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, just for cod!&rdquo; he says. So we did.
-</p>
-<p>
-We rowed up to the place where the Slough branches off from the river, and
-there was a good deal of water in the Slough yet, so we rowed down the
-Slough until we came almost to the ferry road, and then we thought we
-would stop and get some grapevine driftwood to smoke, and we did. We rowed
-to the shore of the Slough and got out and found plenty of driftwood where
-it had lodged against the bushes and tree roots, and we lit up and smoked
-and sat awhile just doing that.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then Swatty said: &ldquo;Come on! Let's go over to that sand by the powder house
-and see if there are any turtle eggs there yet.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That was a good place for turtle eggs, because the sand was hotter there
-sooner than anywhere else. It was a sort of cleared place without many
-trees or bushes, all soft sand and not very far from the ferry road. So we
-walked along down the Slough and pretty soon we came to a skiff pulled up
-on the shore. I was nearest, so I jumped into it; but Swatty didn't. He
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! You'd better get out of that skiff. Some feller has just left that
-skiff there, because his footprints on the bow seat ain't dry yet. If he
-came back and seen us playing in his skiff he'd like as not give us good
-and plenty!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-And that was right, because when a feller rows over from town or anywhere
-he don't like kids to fool with his skiff; because if the skiff got away
-how could he get back to town? So if they catch you in their skiffs they
-bat you a good one. So I got out of the skiff and Swatty went on ahead,
-and me and Bony followed; and we come to the sandy place by the powder
-house.
-</p>
-<p>
-A powder house is a little square shack about as big as a closet, covered
-with sheet iron and painted red for danger. This was the only one on the
-Illinois side, but there were two more on the Iowa side, up the river from
-town a good ways; and the reason they were so far from town was because
-the wholesale grocers sold powder, but the city didn't allow them to keep
-any inside the city limits. When they sold some they sent over to get it.
-The powder houses were painted with big letters to say Danger! and that
-nobody must shoot at them or build a fire near them, or they might
-explode. So that was why this one was in the middle of the sandy place
-sand can't burn like grass does.
-</p>
-<p>
-So we come through the bushes to where we could see the powder house and
-we all stopped short right there, for there was Slim Finnegan coming out
-of the powder house with a bag over his shoulder, with what anybody could
-tell was an iron powder keg in it. As soon as we saw him he saw us and we
-dodged back into the bushes and ran. We ran pretty far, and then we
-stopped and listened and didn't hear anything; so we hid down behind a log
-and waited. We knew that if Slim Finnegan found us he'd stab us or
-something. Anyway, we thought he would. Me and Bony did. I guess Swatty
-did too.
-</p>
-<p>
-After we had waited what seemed like a couple of hours&mdash;but I guess
-it was about half a minute&mdash;Swatty put his head up above the log and
-looked, and didn't see anything. Then he got up and went round the log and
-started to go back to the powder house. Bony didn't say anything, because
-he was too scared, but I yelled, &ldquo;Swatty! Swatty!&rdquo; in a whisper, because I
-wanted him to come back; but he just turned and motioned us to be still,
-and he went on. He walked as careful as he could. Pretty soon he came back
-and dropped down behind the log again.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It's Slim Finnegan, all right,&rdquo; he said&mdash;only he said &ldquo;orl right,&rdquo;
- like he always does; &ldquo;and he's stealing a keg of powder&rdquo;&mdash;only he
-said it sort of like &ldquo;kerg of powder.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What'd you see, Swatty?&rdquo; I whispered.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I seen him shift the bag from one shoulder to the other,&rdquo; Swatty said,
-&ldquo;and I could see the ridges on the keg, all right! If we wanted to we
-could tell the police and they'd put him in jail.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, don't, Swatty!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;If you do that he'll wait until he gets out
-and then he'll stab all of us. Aw, don't tell the police, Swatty!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Maybe I will and maybe I won't,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;I ain't made up my mind
-yet what I'll do. I ain't afraid of his old stabbin' knife, I tell you
-that! He can't scare me! There ain't any Slim Finnegan that ever lived
-could scare me. If he pulled his old frog stabber on me I'd&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He stopped short and I saw him put out one hand and grab the log, and his
-face looked like a dead man's, and then I looked up from the callus I was
-fixing on my foot and I saw Slim Finnegan too. He was standing right in
-front of us with a pistol in his hand and the pistol was pointed right at
-us. He had a mean-looking face, sort of foxy and sort of sneery, and now
-it had a sort of grin on it, and it was ugly. It was the kind of grin he
-had when he twisted a little kid's arm and made him scream. He was just
-like he always was, sort of muddy-haired and yellowfaced and slouchy in
-the shoulders, and tobacco juice in the corners of his mouth. He looked
-just the way he always looked when he was going to have some fun hurting
-somebody.
-</p>
-<p>
-I felt pretty sick, I felt hot in the stomach, as if a bullet had already
-made a hot hole there. I sort of twitched in different places as each
-place got to thinking it was the place the bullet was going to hit. I
-don't know what Bony did; I had all I wanted to do without thinking of
-anybody else. All of a sudden Slim opened his dirty mouth and swore at us
-the worst anybody ever heard.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Get up out of there, you&rdquo;&mdash;something&mdash;&ldquo;rats!&rdquo; he said in the
-meanest voice he had. &ldquo;Get up!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we got up.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You get along there, now!&rdquo; he ordered, swearing some more; and he waved
-us where to go.
-</p>
-<p>
-We didn't say a word, not even Swatty. We just went; and instead of
-thinking I felt the bullet coming into my stomach I thought I felt it
-coming into the joints of my back. I put my hand behind me to sort of help
-stop it if it came. That way he sent us through the brush to the sandy
-place. He walked us toward the powder house, and then, all at once, he
-shouted at us to throw down our grapevine cigarettes. He asked us if we
-wanted to blow him to hell. So we threw them down.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then he came up to me and hit me on the side of the head and knocked me
-down in the sand, and threw Bony on top of me, and slapped Swatty so he
-staggered; but Swatty didn't fall. He swore back at Slim, and Slim slapped
-him again and knocked him down. For a million dollars I would n't have
-sworn back at a stabber that had a pistol; but that's how Swatty is.
-Anyway, he was the only one of us that could swear good enough to make it
-worth while swearing back.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Slim had left the door of the powder house open and when he had us
-all knocked down he came over and kicked at us, and I was the one he
-kicked. He swore all the time, a steady stream, and it was the thoroughest
-swearing I ever heard. It sounded like business. Then he jerked Swatty up
-and slung him toward the powder house and slung him inside, and then he
-took me and Bony and slung us the same way. He slung us all into the
-powder house.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll teach you to go blattin' about me when you see me!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Dirty
-little rats! I'll learn you a lesson! You 'll never come your sneakin' spy
-in' on me again! You'll have enough when I get through with you this time.
-You want to know what I'm goin' to do with you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, we did sort of want to know, but we didn't say so.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'm goin' to lock you in there,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;and I'm goin' to leave you in
-there to starve, like the dirty sneaks you are. I'll teach you to go
-tellin' lies about me! You'd go and say I stole that can of powder,
-wouldn't you? Well, I didn't steal it&mdash;see? I bought it. I bought it
-and they sent me over to get it. It's none of your business, anyway. You
-sneakin' rats!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Bony started to cry. Slim told him to shut up, and he did. He scowled at
-us.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, by&rdquo;&mdash;something&mdash;he said, swearing; &ldquo;starving is too good
-for tattle-tellin' rats like you. Somebody might come and let you out. I
-know what I'm goin' to do to you. I'm goin' to lock you in and then I'm
-goin' to set a fire and blow you to a million pieces. I'll blow you up,
-like the sneakin' rats you are!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I can't make it sound the way it sounded to us, because I can't swear the
-way he did. He swore, to show he meant it, and then he slammed the
-iron-covered door and we heard the iron bar scrape as he put it across the
-door, and we heard the padlock click into the staple. We were in the dark,
-darker dark than I was ever in before. Bony began to cry sort of funny,
-like a sick animal with a voice that was too weak to cry very good. All I
-can remember was that I put out my hands and felt Swatty and hung onto his
-coat with both hands.
-</p>
-<p>
-I hung on and held my breath and waited for the explosion to come. We
-heard Slim cracking sticks across his knee; we could hear the sticks snap.
-Then we heard him piling the sticks against the outside of the powder
-house, and pretty soon we heard scratch! scratch!&mdash;like a match on a
-box. It was the hardest waiting for anything I ever did. Waiting to be
-blown up is always like that, I guess.
-</p>
-<p>
-The place where he was piling the sticks was one of the front corners of
-the powder house, and there wasn't so very much powder in the house, and
-what there was was in different piles, for the different kinds and sizes
-of kegs. All of a sudden Swatty pushed my hands off him and stooped down
-and began feeling on the floor in the corner where the fire was going to
-be. There were four or five little kegs of powder in that corner and
-Swatty began picking them up and putting them on one of the other piles
-that was not so near the corner. I guess nobody but Swatty would have
-thought of doing that; but when he started I started, too, and we moved
-the powder as fast as we could. Then the door opened.
-</p>
-<p>
-Slim had taken off the padlock and the iron bar so quietly we hadn't heard
-him, and when he opened the door he caught us shifting the kegs.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come out of there!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Now you know what I'll do to you if you go
-telling about me. If I ever hear you have mentioned my name, or if you
-ever say it to each other, I'll get you and bring you over here and finish
-this job right!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, we guessed he'd do it.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'd have done it now,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;only I don't want to blow up powder that
-don't belong to me. And here's the keg I had,&rdquo; he said, throwing one into
-the powder house. &ldquo;Now, you get! And if you ever say a word you 'll know
-what 'll happen to you. Get!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We ran. We ran like scared deer, and all I wanted to do was to get as far
-away as I could. We ran a long way up the Slough and then Swatty stopped,
-and I stopped because he stopped, but Bony kept on running.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come on!&rdquo; I said to Swatty. &ldquo;What you stopping for?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hide in there,&rdquo; he said, pointing to some bushes. &ldquo;I'll come back.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He crouched Indian fashion and went toward the Slough and out of sight. It
-was quite awhile before he came back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh, he's a liar!&rdquo; he said when he came back. &ldquo;That keg of powder he
-stole wasn't the one he put back. He's got that one in his skiff yet. It
-was another one he put back.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Swatty, you ain't goin' to tell on him, are you?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You bet I ain't!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I just wanted to know. You bet I ain't going
-to tell; if I did he'd stab us in a minute.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess we waited round an hour before we went home, and then we
-were mighty glad there was any of us left to go home, because we had all
-thought we were going to be blown into such little pieces nobody would
-ever find any of us again.
-</p>
-<p>
-Now about the dynamiters: After I had marched in the prohibition parade
-because Mamie Little's father was a prohibition man&mdash;there was
-prohibition in Iowa, all over, and for a while Riverbank didn't have any
-saloons because it was against the law. So Slim Finnegan's father got a
-shanty boat and started a saloon on it across the river, where there
-wasn't prohibition; and Slim helped tend bar, and then other bumboats
-started, and pretty soon I guess folks got tired of that and the saloons
-started up again in Riverbank, so people could get drunk without having to
-hire a skiff and go across the river.
-</p>
-<p>
-So three or four or five men made up their minds they would stop the
-saloons again, and they started in to do it. Mamie Little's father was one
-of them, because he printed the newspaper that wanted the saloons closed;
-so one night three or four of the men's houses were blown up with
-gunpowder, but the fuse went out on the other keg, so it didn't blow up
-its house. But three of them were blown up. That was about three months
-after me and Swatty and Bony saw Slim Finnegan steal the keg of powder;
-and right away we thought of that and that Slim Finnegan was one of the
-men that blew up the houses.
-</p>
-<p>
-Gee! We was scared! All we could think of was that now Slim Finnegan would
-come round and stab us, so we wouldn't tell on him. One whole afternoon we
-hid in the old box stall in my barn and didn't dare talk above a whisper;
-and we had my target rifle, because if Slim came we were going to sell our
-lives dearly.
-</p>
-<p>
-But that was afterward. We went to see the blown-up houses first&mdash;right
-after breakfast the morning after the night they were blown up&mdash;and
-they were all pretty bad. Everybody said it was a miracle nobody was
-killed, and how Mamie Little and her folks walked across the bare rafters
-and got out, and everything like that. So then the mayor offered five
-hundred dollars reward and the governor offered a thousand dollars more;
-and there was a big meeting downtown one night and everybody gave money to
-hire detectives to catch the dynamiters.
-</p>
-<p>
-There were lots of detectives came to Riverbank; I guess maybe there were
-a thousand. Everybody said it would be just a little while before the
-dynamiters were all caught and sent to prison; but pretty soon everybody
-began saying the detectives were no good, and that Mr. Murphy, who was the
-one the committee had hired, was just pretending it was worth while to
-detect, and that he would never get the dynamiters, and that all he was
-staying in Riverbank for was to get the money the committee paid him every
-week. All he found out, I guess, was that the dynamite was gunpowder and
-that some of it was stole from the powder house across the river and some
-from the powder houses up the river. But me and Swatty and Bony knew who
-stole it. That's why we were scared.
-</p>
-<p>
-And you bet we were mighty scared! We made a fort in the hayloft of my
-barn, with loopholes to shoot my target rifle through, so we could flee to
-it if Slim Finnegan came round, and pop him from behind the fort before he
-could stab us. Swatty got us to do that. He was going to show us how to
-fix the barn stairs with each step on a hinge so when we pulled a rope the
-steps would drop and make a slide, so that whenever Slim tried to come up
-the steps he would get just part way and then slide down again; but when
-we tried to pry the treads of the steps loose the nails were rusted and
-the treads split; so we thought we'd better not.
-</p>
-<p>
-We got up a signal word&mdash;only it was Swatty thought of it&mdash;so
-that when any of us saw Slim we could say it, and we'd know we had to run
-for shelter to our fort. The word was Vamoose! But it was too long, so
-Swatty shortened it. He made it Vam!
-</p>
-<p>
-We did everything we could to get ready not to be stabbed. We made daggers
-out of some kitchen knives I got in my kitchen, and Swatty showed us how
-to do it while me and Bony turned the grindstone. We sharpened them on
-both edges and made points on them and tied string round the handles in
-loops, so we could hang them on our suspender buttons and let them hang
-down inside our pants. Swatty showed me how to carry my target rifle stuck
-down one pants leg, too, so it wouldn't be visible. It made me walk
-stiff-legged, like I was lame, but Swatty said that was a good thing&mdash;it
-would throw Slim Finnegan off his guard. Swatty showed us how to stand
-back to back when Slim Finnegan attacked us, so we would have a dagger in
-each direction and he couldn't stab us in the backs.
-</p>
-<p>
-Whenever we could we got together and Swatty told us new ways to keep from
-being stabbed, because he said he knew a feller in Derlingport&mdash;where
-he had visited once&mdash;who was fixed just like we were, with a big
-feller after him; and Swatty remembered other things he had done. He
-didn't remember them all at once, but every day he remembered a new one.
-When he remembered them we did them. One of them was to rub our knee
-joints with sewing-machine oil, so they would be limber and we could run
-like a deer when Slim Finnegan took after us. Before he got through Swatty
-remembered a lot of things like that. We did them.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, after a while I guess we sort of forgot about Slim Finnegan, because
-he didn't come round to stab us. Maybe it was because Swatty couldn't
-remember any more of the things the feller in Derlingport had done, and
-maybe it was because school began again. We sort of turned the fort in my
-hayloft into a dressing room for a circus. Swatty was ringmaster. So then
-Bony's birthday started to come and his mother thought she'd have a party
-for him, because they had a new parlor carpet and had had the dining-room
-papered. So she had it.
-</p>
-<p>
-At first Bony said he wasn't going to his party, because there would be
-girls there and they would want to play kissing games; but Swatty said,
-Aw! he wasn't afraid to kiss all the girls there were in the world! and
-that if Bony would go to the party he would go too. So I said if Bony and
-Swatty would go I would go. I said, Aw! I bet I wasn't afraid to kiss all
-the girls in the world, either! only I bet I wouldn't kiss Mamie Little if
-she asked me a million times, because she was mad at me. So we went to
-Bony's party.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was a pretty good party. Right at first it wasn't much because the
-girls sat on one side of the room and tried to keep their white dresses
-from getting wrinkled, and the boys sat on the other side. It wouldn't
-have been any fun at all, that first part, only Swatty had brought some
-beans in his pocket and we had some fun shooting them at the girls with
-our thumbs. Every once in a while Bony's mother would come in from the
-kitchen and clap her hands and say:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Come, now! We must all have a good time! All you boys and girls think of
-a game and play it. Bony&rdquo;&mdash;only she called him Harold&mdash;&ldquo;I'm
-surprised you don't start a game!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Bony wished he hadn't come to his party. So after a while Bony's
-mother said to the cook:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, Maggie, we'd better give them the refreshments now, instead of
-later; they won't liven up until they are fed.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-We went into the dining-room and all sat round the big table, and we began
-to have a good time. Us kids would get up and sneak round and steal a
-girl's cake or something, and she would holler and be mad; and then we
-started in to pull their hair-bows, and maybe their hair a little, and
-they would slap at us and scold and giggle. They pretended they didn't
-like it; but they did. So pretty soon some of them got up and chased us
-round the table, and after the ice cream it turned out we were playing
-tag; and Bony's mother said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Heaven save the furniture! But, anyway, I'm glad they've waked up!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I didn't pull Mamie Little's hair, or anything. I guess I wanted to,
-but I sort of didn't dare. All she did was to make a face at me once
-across the table, and when I threw a little piece of cake at her she
-brushed it off her dress and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I consider that very rude!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then we went into the parlor again and got to playing kissing games&mdash;Copenhagen
-and post-office, and games like that. So then we played pillow. I guess
-the girls like it because there isn't so much game and there is more
-kissing, and I guess the boys don't care because by the time you get to
-playing pillow they're used to it. You take a sofa pillow and drop it in
-front of the girl you want to kiss and drop on your knees, and she drops
-on her knees and then she kisses you. Then she takes the pillow and drops
-it in front of the fellow she wants to kiss next, and she kneels on it,
-and she kisses him. So I guess Kate White dropped the pillow in front of
-me and kissed me; and then I took the pillow and looked round the row of
-chairs.
-</p>
-<p>
-I saw Mamie Little and she looked as if she was trying to look as if she
-didn't want me to drop the pillow in front of her, but really did want me
-to. I didn't know what to do. Toady Williams was in the next chair to
-Mamie Little. I guess maybe I wanted Mamie Little to kiss me, but I was
-sort of scared to put the pillow in front of her. I got sort of hot. So,
-all of a sudden, I dropped the pillow right in front of her and plumped
-down on my knees. Everybody laughed and clapped their hands, except Toady
-Williams.
-</p>
-<p>
-But Mamie Little didn't plump down on her knees in front of me. She stuck
-her chin in the air and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No; thank you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I guess I got hotter than I ever was in my life. I was burning hot. And I
-guess I was pretty mad. I got up and held the pillow by one corner.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right for you, then!&rdquo; I said; and all I thought of was to make her
-sorry for making me look silly before the whole crowd. &ldquo;All right for you!
-I know who dynamited your house, and now I won't tell!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, right away she got down on her knees. She took the pillow from me
-and got down on her knees on it. So I kneeled down on it, too, and she let
-me kiss her on the cheek. It was the softest cheek I ever kissed, I guess.
-So then she got up, and took the pillow and looked around the circle for a
-boy to drop it in front of, and when she didn't drop it in front of Toady
-Williams the very first thing, I felt fine. Swatty leaned over to me and
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! Now you done it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said back, &ldquo;I got a right to tell if I want to, haven't I?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, you hain't,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;If you tell then Slim Finnegan will stab
-the whole three of us.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, let him stab!&rdquo; I said, because that was how I felt just then,
-because Mamie Little had not put the pillow down in front of Toady
-Williams but in front of Bony, and that didn't mean much, because it only
-meant that she wanted Bony to have it next, because he would give it to
-Lucy. So, when he went to kiss Mamie she turned her head and he hardly got
-any kiss at all, and she had let me kiss her fair and solid. So I felt
-pretty good. I felt as if she was going to be my girl again. And I guess
-she was, because when somebody put the pillow in front of her again, she
-came right to me with it, and that time it was a good kiss too. I felt
-great!
-</p>
-<p>
-When us boys was getting our hats, when the party was over, Swatty came up
-to me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If you tell her I'm going to lick you,&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right&mdash;lick!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I ain't afraid of your lickings. Lick all
-you want to. I told her I'd tell and you nor nobody else can't make me a
-liar!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Mamie Little waited for me at the front door, and when I came out I
-knew she had waited so I could walk home with her, and I did.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I'm glad we aren't mad any more,&rdquo; she said when we were walking
-along.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ah! who was mad? I wasn't mad,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Well, I ain't mad now,&rdquo; she
-said. &ldquo;Who was it blew up our house?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, somebody!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-We walked a little way and then she said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who blew up our house?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Slim Finnegan,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;How do you know he did?&rdquo; she said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Because me and Swatty and Bony saw him steal the powder to do it with,&rdquo; I
-told her, &ldquo;We was over in Illinois and we saw him steal it from the powder
-house that's over there.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we talked about that and when we got home to her house she told me to
-come up on the porch, and I did; and then she opened the door and called
-for her father, and he came to the door.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Papa, this is Georgie,&rdquo; she said; &ldquo;and he knows who blew up our house.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, he took me inside the house and asked me to tell all about it, and I
-told him, and Mamie sat in a chair and listened to me tell it. When he had
-asked me everything he could think of he went to the door with me and
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George, you are a fine boy!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, sir!&rdquo; and then I said, &ldquo;Good-bye, Mamie!&rdquo; And she said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't like that mean old Toady Williams.&rdquo; So I went home.
-</p>
-<p>
-That evening Mr. Murphy, the detective, came up to my house and Mr. Little
-came with him; and Mr. Murphy asked me all the questions Mr. Little had
-asked, and a lot more, and I told him all about Slim Finnegan. He asked
-where Swatty and Bony lived and how to get to their houses. So then Mr.
-Murphy said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;If the boy is telling the truth this may be more important than we
-imagined. I have thought for some time that the reason Slim Finnegan left
-town was because he knew something of this affair.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I guess that was the reason Slim Finnegan hadn't come around to stab us&mdash;he
-wasn't in Riverbank. I guess it was a month more before they found him
-down in Oklahoma and fetched him back to Riverbank because me and Swatty
-and Bony had oathed that he had stolen the keg of powder. Petty larceny
-was what it was called. That was what they arrested him for.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, come to find out, Slim Finnegan hadn't blown up anything, and it
-wasn't even his keg of powder that done it. He had stole the powder to
-load a shotgun with, to go hunting, and he showed Mr. Murphy the dry
-powder keg, with most of the powder in it yet. So he wasn't the dynamiter,
-after all.
-</p>
-<p>
-But his father was. Mr. Murphy gave Slim Finnegan three degrees and said
-to him, &ldquo;I guess you know who blew up the houses and if you don't tell
-I'll send you to the penitentiary for twenty years,&rdquo; and Slim Finnegan&mdash;the
-mean sneak&mdash;told that his father and two other men had done it, and
-they were arrested and went to prison.
-</p>
-<p>
-So me and Swatty and Bony talked about which of us ought to have the
-one-thousand-five-hundred-dollars reward, and we made up our minds that
-Swatty ought to have it because he was the one that went back and saw that
-Slim Finnegan was really stealing a keg of powder, and that if Swatty
-didn't get it I ought to have it, because I was the one that told Mamie
-Little, and that if I didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have it, because
-if it hadn't been for her I never would have told.
-</p>
-<p>
-But none of us got it. Mr. Murphy got it. The only thing Swatty and Bony
-got was that they didn't get stabbed. And I got Mamie Little back for my
-secret girl again.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-XI. &ldquo;THIEF! THIEF!&rdquo;
- </h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>hile Mamie Little's father's house was getting fixed up, after being
-dynamited, they went someplace else to live, and the only people that
-lived across the street from us were the Burtons. There weren't any
-Burtons to play with, because the only children they had was Tom Burton,
-who was older than my sister Fan, and that summer he began taking Fan to
-ride with the dandy horses and carriage the Burtons' hired man took care
-of.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Burtons' hired man's name was Jimmy, and everybody called him that
-except Mrs. Burton&mdash;she called him James. I guess Jimmy was forty
-years old. Or maybe he was fifty, or thirty-five, or something. He was
-thin and balder than hired men generally are, and his only bad habit was
-putting angle worms in a pickle bottle and setting the bottle in the sun
-to dissolve the worms into angle-worm oil for his rheumatism in the
-winter; but summer was when the worms were, so he had to get a lot of
-worms in the summer to last through the winter.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Jimmy had been with the Burtons six years and Annie, our hired girl,
-had been with us on and off, for five years. I guess everybody thought she
-hadn't any other name at all until one evening when Jimmy came over and
-knocked at the back door and asked Mother if Miss Dombacher was home. She
-wasn't, because she had gone to the Evangelical Lutheran Church; but after
-that Jimmy used to come over, and Annie would put two chairs out in the?
-yard under the apple tree and they would sit and talk. Or Jimmy would
-talk. He would talk and talk and talk, and every once in a while Annie
-would say, &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; and, after she learned it, &ldquo;No.&rdquo; So, after a couple of
-years, Jimmy began to hold Annie's hand when he talked to her, and in a
-couple of years more they got engaged. I guess they liked each other.
-</p>
-<p>
-I was in our dining-room one day, looking to see if Annie had put any
-fresh cookies in the jar in the closet, when I heard my mother say, &ldquo;Oh,
-Annie!&rdquo; in the kitchen, as if she was sorry about something. So then Annie
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I bin sorry to go avay, too, ma'am, but it is right everybody should get
-married once or twice.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know,&rdquo; my mother said; &ldquo;but I don't know what I will ever do without
-you, Annie.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Annie cried, and there were no cookies, so I went out.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, it was like this: Jimmy had been saving his money ever since Annie
-came to our house and now he had enough to get married on and buy a couple
-of acres; so they were going to be married, and he was going to leave the
-Burtons and raise garden stuff and peddle it. Annie was going to raise
-chickens and sell eggs, and they would have a cow and sell milk.
-</p>
-<p>
-So now I come to the story part of the story. I guess what the story is
-about is that sometimes it is a good thing for a fellow to have a girl,
-because if Mamie Little hadn't been my girl maybe Jimmy and Annie would
-never have been married.
-</p>
-<p>
-There were two parts about the story. One was that a circus was coming to
-town and me and Swatty weren't going; the other was that the schoolhouse
-wore out and they built a new one.
-</p>
-<p>
-The night before the circus was coming there was going to be a reception
-in the dandy big new schoolhouse to raise money for a library. Everybody
-was going to go, and I guess everybody old enough was going to take his
-girl. Anyway me and Swatty and Bony got to talking about taking girls to
-parties and receptions and things, and the first thing you know we said
-we'd do it.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess I said Swatty was afraid, and Swatty dared me back, and we both
-dared Bony, and so we wouldn't any of us take the dare. So Bony asked Lucy
-and she said she'd go with him if my mother would let her. When Bony told
-me I didn't believe him, but I asked Lucy and she said Bony had asked her,
-and that Mamie Little was as mad as mad because I hadn't asked Mamie. So I
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! How could I ask her when I hain't seen her yet?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You could, too, see her, if you wanted to,&rdquo; Lucy said. &ldquo;You could see her
-every minute of every day, if you wasn't a 'fraid-cat.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;'T ain't so. I'm not a 'fraid-cat!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;'T is so, and you are! 'Fraidie-cat! You ain't going to take Mamie
-Little, and you're her fellow!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I am, too, going to take her!&rdquo; I said back.
-</p>
-<p>
-But I wasn't going to take Mamie Little. I wouldn't have asked her for a
-million dollars. But I didn't have to ask her. I met her that afternoon.
-She was on the other side of the street and I just went along as if I
-didn't see her. So she called across: &ldquo;Oo-oo! Georgie! You know!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! What do I know?&rdquo; I asked back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You know! The reception!&rdquo; she said. Well, I just went along and didn't
-say anything. But that evening when I got home my mother said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I hear you are getting to be quite a beau, Georgie.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I didn't know what she meant, so I said, &ldquo;Huh?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mrs. Little called this afternoon,&rdquo; my mother said, &ldquo;and she told me you
-had asked Mamie Little to go to the new school reception with you. That's
-very nice.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I didn't say anything. It was Lucy, and I was mighty mad at her for
-telling Mamie Little I was going to take her; but I was kind of glad, too.
-I thought, &ldquo;Well, anyway, Swatty and Bony are going to take girls.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The reception was the next night, so when Swatty and Bony came over the
-next afternoon I told them I was going to take Mamie Little, and Swatty
-said that was right, everybody was going to take a girl.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I asked him who he was going to take, because he had never let on he
-had a girl.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I ain't going to take any girl!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That made me sick. Me and Bony had stood right up like men and had asked
-girls, and Swatty had promised he would take one, and now he was backing
-out. So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! You said you would take one!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, don't I know it?&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Of course I said I would, but I
-forgot.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What did you forget?&rdquo; I asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I forgot I was married,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-We were all sitting under our apple tree, out in the yard, and it was a
-good thing we were not sitting on a roof, because I would have fell off
-and killed myself, I was so surprised.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! When was you married?&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That time I went to Derlingport to visit my uncle,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! Who did you marry?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;A girl,&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if you married a girl why didn't you ever tell us about it before?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh! I can't remember everything that happened when I was in
-Derlingport, can I? Mebbe I forgot I was married.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, pshaw!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What did you want to go and get married for,
-Swatty?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I couldn't help it, could I?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You don't think I'd go and get married if I could help it, do you? My&mdash;my
-uncle made me.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why did he make you?&rdquo; asked Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Because my aunt had a felon on her finger. She had a felon on her finger
-and it almost killed her to dam stockings, so my uncle said if I wore any
-more holes in my stockings I'd have to get a wife of my own to dam them.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then we asked Swatty what his wife was like, and he told us a lot about
-her. She was an Indian princess, and when you first looked at her she
-looked all right, but pretty soon you saw she had a tomahawk in her belt
-and the edge of it was all dried over with blood, because she had had
-eight other husbands before Swatty, and she had got mad at all of them and
-had killed them and scalped them. She had an album on her parlor table,
-but instead of photographs in it she had the scalps of her husbands.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty said there was just room in the scalp album for one more scalp, and
-that every once in a while when he was at her house having his stockings
-darned she would look at his head and kind of sigh.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we talked it over, and Swatty made us promise never to tell any one
-he had been married, because if his mother knew it she would take him out
-in the stable and wale him with a strap. He said that was why he didn't
-dare take any girl to the new school reception, because if his wife heard
-of it she would be jealous and she would come down and tomahawk him and
-maybe kill him. And if she didn't kill him his mother would notice his
-scalp was gone, the next time she washed his head, and would wale him
-anyway.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, my mother helped me dress for the reception, and then she gave me
-twenty cents to spend. I had five cents of my own she didn't know about.
-So that was all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was dark already. I went along, kind of dragging my hand along the
-pickets of the fences and wishing I was dead or something, and it got
-darker and darker. The new house Mamie Little lived in was away out over
-Grimes's Hill, and when I got to the door Mr. Little and Mrs. Little and
-Mamie were just getting ready to come out, and Mr. Little said: &ldquo;Well!
-Here is our cavalier!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Mamie and me walked in front, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would
-be, but I kept feeling sort of chilly when I thought of going into the
-reception with Mamie. But before we got to the schoolhouse Mamie said to
-me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say, Georgie! Don't you want a ticket for the circus?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I said aw, I didn't want to take her ticket away from her; but she said
-she had one too, because her father was editor of the paper and he got
-them complimentary.
-</p>
-<p>
-As soon as we got to the reception Mrs. Little said: &ldquo;Now, you children
-run along and enjoy yourselves.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Mamie said, right away: &ldquo;Shall we get some ice cream first?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I said that would be all right, because mebbe people wouldn't notice I was
-with Mamie Little and think I brought her. So we sat down at a table and a
-girl took our order and brought us strawberry and vanilla&mdash;big dishes&mdash;and
-passed us the cake and we took two pieces of cake apiece.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was all right; but when we were eating Swatty and Bony came past and
-said: &ldquo;Ho, Georgie! He brought a girl!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That was all right for Bony! He had sneaked out of bringing a girl, and
-that was mighty mean, after he had gone and got me to bring one. I said
-I'd fix him when I got him, and he was scared, too! So then we ate our ice
-cream slow, to make it last longer, and I forgot how mean I felt because I
-had brought a girl, when whoever was opposite us got through and asked how
-much he owed.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Let me see!&rdquo; the girl said. &ldquo;Two ice creams at ten cents is twenty cents,
-and two pieces of cake. That makes thirty cents.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I almost rammed my spoon down my throat! I had never thought about
-the cake being extra, and we had had four pieces, and that made twenty
-cents, and the ice cream was twenty cents so it made forty cents all
-together, and twenty-five cents was all the money I had! I was so scared
-my throat sort of closed up on me. I guess my face got as red as fire, and
-I leaned forward and took a big bite of cake, so Mamie Little would n't
-see how red my face was, and then I choked on the cake! I guess I never
-was so choked in my life. And I put a paper napkin up to my face and went
-out into the hall.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess Mamie Little sat there at the table; I don't know. As soon as I
-was out in the hall I knew what I was going to do. I squeezed in among the
-people and got to the door and skipped.
-</p>
-<p>
-As soon as I got home my father asked me did I take Mamie Little home; so
-I didn't say anything. I went right upstairs to bed. After while my father
-came up and asked me again if I had gone home with Mamie Little, so I said
-I hadn't; I said I didn't want to. I said her folks could take her home if
-they wanted to. So Father said he had a mind to lick me; but he didn't. So
-I guess Mamie Little got home all right. It wouldn't have helped her home
-if my father had licked me, but that's the way fathers are.
-</p>
-<p>
-The next morning, about four o'clock, me and Swatty and Bony went down to
-see the circus unload. We saw it. And then we went up to the circus
-grounds and saw the tent go up and everything. So Bony said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! Don't you wish you was going to the circus?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I said he needn't be so smart, that I was going, because I had a
-ticket. So then I remembered that I had the twenty cents my mother had
-given me to buy the ice cream with, only I hadn't spent it because I came
-away so quick. So I told Swatty he could have the ticket, because I had
-twenty-five cents to get into the circus with. So Swatty was glad. He said
-he'd be my Dutch uncle as long as I lived, and that the first dollar he
-saw rolling uphill he'd pay me back, if he could catch it.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we walked downtown with the parade and saw it, and walked back to
-the circus grounds with it. Me and Swatty and Bony was the first to go
-into the tent. We were right up against the rope when the ticket taker let
-it down. So we hurried right through, because a lot of folks was pushing
-behind us. The ticket taker yelled something at us, but I didn't hear what
-it was and we scooted for the menagerie tent.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we were looking at the ostriches in their cage Swatty got close
-beside me and said: &ldquo;Lookee here!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I looked down, and he had his ticket in his hand yet, because that was why
-the ticket taker had yelled at us. Swatty had sneaked in without giving
-his ticket.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What did you do that for?&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Because I'm hungry,&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You can't eat your ticket,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You wait and you'll see,&rdquo; he said, so then we went into the big tent and
-we climbed up to the top row. When we poked our heads out we could see
-right down where the ticket taker was taking tickets and all the people
-were crowding to get in. Right down below us on the ground a bum, or tent
-man, was asleep on his face with his arm under his head. His coat was
-beside him. He was breathing hard.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty leaned out as far as he could and waved the ticket he had,
-and called out who wanted to buy a ticket for a quarter. That was just
-like Swatty anyhow. He was pretty slick. So pretty soon a man said he'd
-buy the ticket, and he tossed a quarter up to Swatty. With a quarter we
-could get enough peanuts to keep alive until supper time.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty and Bony was just going to draw our heads in when we saw
-Jimmy and Annie. I was going to yell at them when I saw something that
-made me forget to yell. Swatty saw it, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was a man standing by the ropes that made the narrow place people
-had to go through, but he was outside of the ropes on our side, and just
-when Jimmy came opposite him and got a step past him his hand went out
-like a flash and something dropped on the ground and the bum slid out his
-hand and grabbed what had dropped, and slid it under the coat and went on
-pretending he was asleep. The man by the ropes had picked Jimmy's wallet
-out of his pocket.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I didn't know it, but Jimmy had all the money he was going to buy a
-farm with in that wallet. It was circus day, and he didn't dare leave it
-at home, because of thieves; so he brought it with him.
-</p>
-<p>
-I didn't think of anything to do, and neither did Bony, but Swatty did. He
-looked down, and then slid one leg and then the other over the wall of the
-tent and hung there a second and looked down. He hand-over-handed a reach
-or two and then gave himself a sort of push and let go. He came down right
-on the bum's head, straddle of his neck, and yelled: &ldquo;Police! Police!&rdquo;
- Only he yelled it &ldquo;Porlice! Porlice!&rdquo; like he always says it. I guess the
-bum was surprised, but he reached up and grabbed Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-It wasn't a fair fight, Swatty against a man, but it was a good one while
-it lasted. Everybody on the top seats stuck their heads out and yelled,
-and everybody down where Swatty was came running. One of the town cops was
-first&mdash;the cross-eyed one&mdash;and he leveled a lick at the bum with
-his club and caught Swatty across his breeches, and Swatty yelled and let
-go of the bum. He could fight one bum but he couldn't fight a cross-eyed
-policeman with a club, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-The minute the bum got loose he dived under the tent. We saw him scutter
-along under the seats, and then we saw him come out away down the side of
-the tent and scoot. The cross-eyed cop started after him, but he never got
-him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty didn't run. He just stood on the bum's coat, with his feet spread
-out, and in a minute Jimmy and a lot of folks were crowded around him.
-Then he lifted up the coat. We could see it all. Under the coat was
-Jimmy's wallet and about six more. Jimmy just dropped on his wallet and
-hugged it. He sort of blubbered and didn't know what to do, so he kissed
-Swatty, and Swatty hit out at him and hit him in the chest.
-</p>
-<p>
-By that time a circus man in uniform had come up. He had a big hickory
-club, peeled, and he pushed into the crowd. Behind him were four or five
-more circus men, but they had tent stakes.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What's this row?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-Somebody started to tell him. The man that took the wallet from Jimmy was
-right there, and he turned away. So I shouted out:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hey, mister! there's the man that took it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-The circus man looked around and the thief started to hurry. He didn't
-have a chance to hurry much. The circus man made one jump for him and
-caught him by the collar and gave one jerk, and the thief's coat and vest
-came off and his shirt ripped right off him. The other circus men were on
-him. If it had been me it would have killed me, but I guess he was tough.
-</p>
-<p>
-When I turned around Mr. Little was standing right back of me. He had come
-up to see what it all was, so he could put it in his paper. When he saw it
-was me that had yelled, he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, hello, it's our gallant cavalier! These hard seats are no place for
-a lady's man; come on over in the reserved seats.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I can't,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I've got to wait for Swatty.&rdquo; He didn't know who
-Swatty was, so I told him. So when Swatty came in we went over into the
-reserved seats, right in front of the middle ring. So Mr. Little asked
-Swatty all about it, and Swatty told him, and Mr. Little wrote it down and
-went downtown to his paper with it. He told Mrs. Little to take good care
-of the three heroes. He meant me and Swatty and Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Jimmy and Annie got married. All Mamie Little ever said about my going
-home was:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess you think you were pretty smart, going home and letting Papa take
-me home and pay for the ice cream!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But that didn't hurt me any. Girls are always saying things like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-XII. THE RED AVENGERS
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, vacation got over, and school started again, and me and Swatty and
-Bony got promoted into the A Class in Miss Carter's room, and so did Mamie
-Little and Scratch-Cat. Lucy got promoted into the B Class in Miss
-Carter's room, and she hated Miss Carter. I guess the reason was because
-Miss Carter got in love with Herb Schwartz when Fan was mad at him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anyway Miss Carter heard Lucy tell somebody that if Fan wanted Herb Miss
-Carter would never have got him, and that anybody could catch a
-second-hand fellow that a body had thrown away, so Miss Carter and Lucy
-didn't like each other. But I guess it was Lucy's fault, because I always
-liked Miss Carter all right. Most always.
-</p>
-<p>
-So school started again. Professor Martin came back with only a limp in
-his leg and Herb Schwartz stopped being a professor and was in Judge
-Hannan's law office all the time. He began smoking a curved pipe and
-wearing spectacles and his hair pompadour, because he would pretty soon be
-a lawyer, and he kept on going with Miss Carter, but I didn't care,
-because Fan had stopped dying of love. She was going with Tom Burton.
-</p>
-<p>
-We liked Tom Burton good enough&mdash;me and Swatty and Bony did&mdash;until
-the time Dad Veek's barn burned, but after that we didn't. We had it in
-for him after that.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess old Dad Veek was a cabinet maker or something. Anyway, he used to
-work in his barn with a saw and a plane and he made a lot of shavings. His
-barn was level, but to make it level it had to be up on posts at the hind
-end because it was on a side hill, and that made a kind of cave under it,
-and sometimes me and Bony and Swatty, when we got tired playing in the
-creek, or it was raining, or we got cold skating, would go up there and
-maybe smoke com silk or maybe just talk. So we got all the shavings old
-Dad Veek swept out of his barn, and we made a kind of nest under the barn,
-and we called it that&mdash;the Nest.
-</p>
-<p>
-Dad Veek did not like to have us under his barn, because when we smoked
-com silk the smoke would go up between the boards of the floor and he
-would come out and chase us. He didn't like us much, anyway, for any boys,
-because there were grapevines between his barn and his house and he
-thought maybe when we thought he wasn't around we crawled through the
-fence and took some grapes. And we did. But only when they were ripe and
-we happened to be over there.
-</p>
-<p>
-So one night his barn burned down.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess that don't sound like much, but it was a good deal more than it
-sounds like. You don't know about Toady Williams and the Red Avengers and
-the fire insurance inspector yet. The fire insurance inspector was a man
-who came over from Chicago and said old Dad Veek had set the barn afire to
-get the insurance money, and said he guessed he would put old Dad Veek in
-jail for it, because there was too much of that sort of thing just now,
-and it was time to learn somebody a lesson. And I guess nobody would have
-cared much if it hadn't been for Mrs. old Dad Veek.
-</p>
-<p>
-The reason my mother felt sorry for Mrs. old Dad Veek was because when my
-mother was a little girl Mrs. old Dad Veek's name was Tilly, and she
-worked for my mother's mother, and now she was a dear old lady and it was
-too bad her husband was going to jail. So she thought somebody ought to
-bestir themselves.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, while my mother and the Ladies' Aid were bestirring themselves me
-and Bony and Swatty and Toady Williams were out in our barn, and I felt
-pretty bad, because it was tough to have my mother bestirring herself
-about that barn fire when the chances were that I would be one she would
-bestir into jail if she kept old Dad Veek out. Now you know that much, you
-can see why we felt pretty sick out there in my barn.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was winter when old Dad Veek's barn burned down, and it was about nine
-o'clock at night. I was going to bed because I had been skating all day. I
-wore boots to skate in, like all the fellows, and my boots kind of
-wrinkled around the ankles and they rubbed my ankles until they were raw.
-So about eight o'clock I said, &ldquo;Aw, come on, Swatty! Let's go home!&rdquo; but
-he wouldn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, if you won't go home with me I'm going up to the Nest and I'll wait
-for you up there,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Toady came up, and he asked where I was going and I told him I was
-going to the Nest, and he said he was going to skate some more, but Swatty
-and Bony said, &ldquo;All right, we'll go up with you awhile.&rdquo; They didn't take
-off their skates. They walked up the hill to the barn on their skates and
-we sat awhile in the Nest under old Dad Veek's barn and smoked some
-com-silk cigarettes. Then Swatty and Bony wanted to skate some more, and
-they did and after a while I went home. Gee! but there was a raw spot on
-my ankle when I got my boot off! I was sitting on the edge of my bed
-looking at it, about nine o'clock, when the fire-house bell rang. Right
-away my mother came into my room and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George, there is a fire across the Square, and I think it is Mr. Veek's
-barn. You can go if you want to.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I hid my raw ankle, because if my mother knew it was so bad she would n't
-let me skate any more until it got well, and I pulled on my boot and went
-to the fire.
-</p>
-<p>
-There was a pretty big crowd there already and the barn was burning bully.
-I found Swatty first and then we found Bony, and we watched until the fire
-burned out, and then we went home.
-</p>
-<p>
-The next day was Sunday, and when I got up I told my mother I had a
-headache, like I always told her Sunday mornings; but I had to go to
-Sunday school just the same. After dinner I went over to the ruins, and
-Swatty and Bony and Toady and a lot of folks were there. It was good to
-see and smell. When we got tired we went back to my yard, and it was too
-cold to go into the barn, so we went up to my room. As soon as the door
-was shut Swatty sat down on the edge of my bed and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!&rdquo; You see it was like this: Me and Swatty and Toady
-and Bony were the Red Avengers. Maybe you never read the book&mdash;&ldquo;The
-Red Avengers, or The Boy Heroes of the Trail&rdquo;&mdash;but it is a bully
-book. It's a dime lib'ry, and if it hadn't been for Toady we would never
-have had it. There was one thing about Toady that was pretty good&mdash;he
-had lots of books. Dime lib'ry books. He got the new ones as fast as they
-were printed, and he read them behind his geography at school, and it was
-because he had them that we got to read &ldquo;The Red Avengers.&rdquo; The Chief of
-the Red Avengers was a boy named Dick, and when he was a young and tender
-nursling his fond parents took him out West and they started a ranch that
-covered almost a whole state. They had millions of cattle, but a lot of
-Mexicans came and burned the ranch and Dick's parents were burned to death
-and Dick only escaped by creeping into the chaparral and hiding until he
-grew up into a sturdy youthhood. So then the Mexicans had divided up the
-ranch and had built houses and barns and things, and when Dick asked for
-the ranch back they laughed at him. So he got together a lot of true and
-faithful youths and started the Red Avengers of the Trail and whenever
-they came to one of the Mexican houses or bams they burned it down.
-Whenever anybody did anything mean to anybody in the band of the Red
-Avengers, Dick wrote a note saying the mean person's house would be burned
-at a certain minute, and the note would appear mysteriously on the door of
-the house. And the house burned down just as the Red Avengers said it
-would, and right on the minute.
-</p>
-<p>
-So me and Swatty and Bony we started a Red Avengers band. We swore a
-solemn oath never to divulge the secrets of the band or to tell what any
-of us did, and to follow the orders of the Chief, whate'er might betide.
-We had an election for Chief, and me and Swatty and Bony each got one
-vote, so we made Swatty the Chief. Swatty made us make him. So I was
-elected Secretary and Bony was elected Treasurer. The Secretary had to
-write the vengeance warnings and keep track of them in a memorandum book,
-so we wouldn't forget who we were going to be revenged on. The Treasurer
-didn't have anything to do. It was an easy job.
-</p>
-<p>
-We did all that one day out in our barn, and, just when we had the Red
-Avengers all fixed up, in came Toady. He wanted the dime lib'ry back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! come on, Toady!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Let us keep it! You don't want it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, I want it,&rdquo; said Toady.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right for you, then, Toady!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;I was going to tell you
-something, but if you're going to be that mean I won't.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What was it?&rdquo; he asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;It's all right what it was!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;You'll never know! Think we'd
-tell you when you want your old dime lib'ry back? We won't ever tell him,
-will we, George? Will we, Bony?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we said no, we wouldn't.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Toady looked at us and his eyes popped out; but Swatty threw &ldquo;The
-Red Avengers&rdquo; book at him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Take it!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;We don't want it anyway. We know everything that's in
-it and we don't need it. Only, if your house burns down you'll know why.
-Garsh! here we were all ready to make you one of the band, and give you
-the oath, and elect you&mdash;what were we going to elect him, George?&rdquo;
- &ldquo;Librarian,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yah!&rdquo; said Swatty, as if Toady made him sick. &ldquo;That's the kind of a
-fellow you are!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Toady didn't know what to do. He picked up the dime lib'ry and stood
-looking. So Swatty didn't pay any attention to him. He said to me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Seckertary, write in the Book of Doom that the first house the Red
-Avengers will burn down will be Toady Williams's house, because he's a
-stingy-cat and took his tom, old, no-good dime lib'ry away from us!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Toady looked awhile. Then he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, I didn't know you were going to make me a librarian. I didn't know
-you were going to do that. What do I have to do if I'm Librarian?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Why, you keep charge of the library,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You take an oath to keep
-and preserve it, in that starch box over there.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And then you can be one of the band and take the oath, and if anybody is
-mean to you we'll burn their houses down,&rdquo; said Swatty. So Toady said all
-right, he would be Librarian, and we gave him the oath, and he put &ldquo;The
-Red Avengers&rdquo; in the starch box, and we held a council. We talked about
-whose houses the Red Avengers ought to burn down first.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess we all thought about Miss Carter first, because she had kept us in
-school after hours that very afternoon; but she lived in a boarding house
-and we couldn't burn down her room without burning down the rest of the
-house, so we thought we would just record her in the book and wait until
-she got married sometime, and had a house of her own, and then burn that
-down. We thought of everybody, but the one we thought was the meanest was
-old Dad Veek. So we wrote his name at the top of the list in my memorandum
-book, and we said we'd burn his barn, and that we would do it at nine of
-night on the eighteenth of December. I wrote the letter of warning that
-was to be stabbed onto his door with a dagger, because I was Secretary,
-and I wrote the date of revenge in the memorandum book, and we all went
-out and over to Veek's barn.
-</p>
-<p>
-We hid in the dead weeds at the side of the road and drew straws to see
-which of the Red Avengers had to go up and dagger the warning onto old Dad
-Veek's barn, and Bony drew the fatal straw; but of course he was afraid to
-do it, so Swatty did it. He sneaked through the fence into Veek's yard and
-up to the barn door. He didn't have a dagger, so he took a sort of
-splinter and ran it through the warning and stuck the point in a crack in
-the door, and scooted back to us. It was a daring deed, worthy of our
-fearless Chief, and we received him with silent cheers, because we had
-scarce hoped he would return from his perilous mission alive. (That's from
-the dime lib'ry book.)
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, that was pretty good, and we felt bully. I guess we would have gone
-ahead and put up some more warnings another day, but it turned cold that
-night and the skating got good and we forgot to be Red Avengers. You can't
-be everything all the time. We didn't think any more about it until the
-day after the fire. That was the Sunday we were up in my room and Swatty
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, Chief, I carried out the orders of the band to the fullest. My
-trusty torch has laid the vermin's dwelling low.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You?&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;You didn't do it. I did it.&rdquo; Toady was sitting on the
-window sill, and Bony was in a chair looking at a magazine. Toady just sat
-and popped his eyes at us.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, now!&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you didn't burn that barn down, either of you. You're
-just fooling.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess that was a little too much for anybody to say, especially
-when he was a member of the Red Avengers himself.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I did, too!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I took my oath to do it, and I did it. Do you think
-I'd take my oath to do it, and then not do it? Of course I burned it down,
-when I said I would!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Of course you would,&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;If you took your oath to burn down
-Veek's barn you'd do it. Only I was the one that took the oath; you
-wasn't. Toady had better not say I'd take an oath and then not do it! When
-you trust a job to the Chief of the Red Avengers it'll be done. At nine of
-night I sneaked up to old Dad Veek's barn&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Ho! Nine!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Well, no wonder! No wonder you thought you did it,
-sneaking up at nine! Now I know why you thought you did it, when I was the
-one that really did it! Why, I wouldn't wait until nine when I had
-promised to set a barn afire at nine. I'd be afraid I might not get the
-match lit in time, or something. I was there at a quarter of nine, and I
-had the barn on fire long before nine.&rdquo; Swatty kind of looked at me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Whereabouts did you set the fire going?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-I thought a minute.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Around at the far side, away from the road, Chief,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, then, no wonder!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;That's why I didn't see you doing
-it. I set the side toward the road burning. So I guess I was the one that
-set the barn afire first, because it would take you a long time to go
-around the barn to the other side.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Maybe we both set it afire at the same time,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right, maybe we did,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;Because,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I ain't going
-to be cheated out of having set it afire by you or anybody, Swatty, when I
-went to all the trouble I did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know,&rdquo; said Swatty, &ldquo;but you can't say I didn't set it afire, either,
-because when I was walking down to the creek from the West I turned my
-ankle and had to take my skates off and limp home. Ain't that so, Bony?&rdquo;
- Bony said yes, it was. &ldquo;And Bony thought I had really sprained my ankle,&rdquo;
- said Swatty, &ldquo;but you know what I was up to. Throw 'em all off the track!
-Be alone so I could do the deed!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, I guess we both did it at the same time,&rdquo; I said, and Swatty said
-he guessed we did, so that settled it. But when Swatty got ready to go
-home I whispered to him:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You didn't really do it, did you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I just wanted to make Toady and Bony think I did. I was in
-my kitchen putting arnica on my ankle. Did you really do it?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Of course I didn't!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I was up here in my bedroom looking at my
-raw ankle. But we won't let on.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Sure not!&rdquo; said Swatty.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, pretty soon some of the fellows or somebody began saying maybe old
-Dad Veek would have to go to jail for setting his own barn afire, like I
-told you in the beginning. Then, after while, I heard my mother say to my
-father, that some of the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring themselves
-because they were sure that old Dad Veek wouldn't set his own barn afire,
-and they had asked Tom Burton to help them and he was helping. But one day
-we were up in my barn&mdash;me and Swatty and Bony&mdash;and Toady came
-up.
-</p>
-<p>
-He came up the stairs far enough to see into the hayloft, then he stopped
-and when we saw him he came on up. I said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hello, Toady!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hello!&rdquo; he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What do you want?&rdquo; I asked, because he hadn't been playing with us much.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh, I just thought I'd get my dime lib'ry,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You don't want it
-any more, do you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, we don't want it,&rdquo; I said, and he went to the starch box and got it,
-and he came over to where we were, and he said: &ldquo;I guess you have n't set
-any more barns afire, have you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What barns?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you did set one afire, didn't you?&rdquo; said Toady. &ldquo;You and George set
-Veek's afire, didn't you?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Swatty stood up then, all right! He stood up and folded his fists.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who said we set Veek's barn afire?&rdquo; he asked, and he was pretty mad. But
-I wasn't; I was just scared. It's incenderyism, or something like that, if
-you set a barn afire, and you get sent to reform school for life.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who said it? I didn't say it,&rdquo; said Toady. &ldquo;You said it. You and George
-said you did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, of course I hadn't been lying when I told Toady and Swatty and Bony
-how I had set Dad Veek's barn afire, but I had just been fooling. So I
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! I never said no such thing! I never either said I set it afire.
-Swatty said he set it afire. I couldn't have set it afire, because I was
-sitting on my bed when it got afire.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So Swatty got mad. I guess he wanted to lick somebody, but he didn't know
-whether to lick me or to lick Toady.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! I never either said I set it afire!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;If anybody set it
-afire George did, because I was home, putting arnica on me, when the fire
-started.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you said you did,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You said so right up in my room. You
-did so.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I did not! You said you did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I did not! I never said anything like it. If anybody said he set Veek's
-barn afire, Swatty said it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! I did not!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;You said it. You said it. You said you took
-a torch, and went around to the far side and set the barn afire. I heard
-you say it. And you said I couldn't have set the barn afire because you
-had it all afire before I got there. Didn't he say that, Toady?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess Toady knew mighty well that if he was going to get mallered
-for saying either of us said it he had better say I said it, because
-Swatty could lick any of us. So he said I did say it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I went for him and mallered him as much as I could. I got so mad I
-cried, and I guess I kicked him. Not Swatty, Toady. So when I got tired I
-was still mad, and I sat down on a box and cried. Then Toady sneaked over
-to the stairs and went part way down, and just before he was out of sight
-he looked back.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Cry-baby!&rdquo; he said, and that meant me. Then he said: &ldquo;All right, you'd
-better look out! You both said you did it, and you both said you said it,
-and Dad Veek's got that Red Avengers' notice you fastened on his barn door
-and Tom Burton knows all about it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Gee, we were scared! I was so scared I didn't throw anything at Toady, and
-Swatty was so scared he just said: &ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; and stood there. Well, me and
-Swatty we talked it over.
-</p>
-<p>
-We knew we hadn't set the barn afire, but we knew we had said we had, and
-we knew old Dad Veek would do 'most anything to keep out of jail, and that
-my mother and the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring. So then we knew why
-Toady had come up to get us to say again we had done it; he was one of the
-Red Avengers and unless we said we had set the barn afire ourselves all
-the Red Avengers would be sent to reform school, and he wanted to get out
-of it and had gone and told Tom Burton about us and the Red Avengers and
-that we had set the barn afire.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; said Swatty, &ldquo;he took the memorandum book you had old Veek's barn
-wrote down at the top of the list of!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-And he had! So Bony sort of doubled down in his corner and cried, but me
-and Swatty sat down on a box to think and talk and see what we had better
-do.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the way Tom Burton had gone to work to help my mother and the
-Ladies' Aid ladies who were bestirring themselves, was this: He found out
-that the reason old Dad Veek had so much insurance was because he was a
-slow worker, and sometimes he had the barn almost full of stuff he was
-working on, and then it was worth as much as it was insured for. So that
-helped some. Then old Dad Veek showed him the Red Avengers' warning Swatty
-had fastened on his barn door, and that was pretty bad, because the time
-it said the barn would burn down was the time it did burn.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess he might have thought it was some men or something, if it hadn't
-been for the name of the Red Avengers. It sounded like boys. So Tom Burton
-found out there was a dime lib'ry named &ldquo;The Red Avengers,&rdquo; because one
-was hanging in Toady Williams's father's store window, and then he knew it
-was boys. So he asked Toady Williams if he knew anything about it, and
-Toady went and told him. He told him me and Swatty and Bony was the Red
-Avengers and that we had set the barn afire.
-</p>
-<p>
-We found all that out mighty soon, because it wasn't half an hour after
-Toady went out of the barn before Tom Burton came up. The tattle-tale had
-gone right to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Tom Burton came up and he stood and talked to us. He told us he knew all
-about the Red Avengers and that he had our memorandum book with Dad Veek's
-name in it and everything, and that he knew who had written the memorandum
-book, and the notice that was daggered on Dad Veek's door, and everything,
-and he asked us which one of us done it. Gee, I was scared! But none of us
-said anything. Maybe we were too scared to.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then he said, &ldquo;All right! it will only be a little while before all
-will be known, and the one that did it will surely be sent to reform
-school, so the other two, that didn't do it, had better tell on the one
-that did do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But none of us said anything. So he talked awhile and then he went away.
-Me and Bony didn't say anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Garsh!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;It's mighty bad.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Me and Bony didn't say anything yet. We was too scared. Bony began to
-blubber.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;You don't need to cry,&rdquo; Swatty told him. &ldquo;You ain't going to be sent to
-reform school. You didn't do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well&mdash;well,&rdquo; Bony blubbered. &ldquo;You and Georgie didn't do it, either.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, it don't matter whether we did it or didn't do it,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-&ldquo;We wrote down that we were going to do it, and they've got the warning
-and the memorandum book, and we both said we'd done it ourselves, and we
-both said the other had done it, and I guess they'll send us to reform
-school.&rdquo; Bony kept on blubbering, so we told him he had better go home if
-he was a cry-baby, and he went. So then Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I guess it ain't much use; but we've got to say, no matter how they ask
-us, that we ain't the Red Avengers.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That'd be a lie,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, no, it wouldn't,&rdquo; said Swatty, &ldquo;because there won't be any Red
-Avengers, and we'll say, 'No, we ain't!' and that'll be the truth, because
-we won't be then. We'll bust up the Red Avengers right now.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we took a vote and voted that we were not the Red Avengers any more and
-that we never had been the Red Avengers. So that settled that, but it
-didn't make us feel much better. We sat and thought awhile and then Swatty
-said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know! Georgie, you can ask Fan to tell Tom Burton to let us go free.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! that won't do any good,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-And I didn't think it would, but Swatty said it was our only chance, so I
-said I would ask Fan, and I did. I hated to, but I did it.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-XIII. THE ICE GOES OUT
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">F</span>irst, of course, I made Fan promise she would never tell, hope to die and
-cross her heart, and she promised, and then I told her all about the Red
-Avengers and how, if we did set Dad Veek's barn afire we didn't mean to,
-and she said she would talk to Tom Burton about it, but she said Tom
-Burton was stubborn and she would have to wait until she had the right
-chance. She was nicer than she had ever been to me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Have you told anybody else?&rdquo; she asked me.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Did Swatty tell his brother Herbert?&rdquo; she asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No. Nobody has told anybody,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, me and Swatty felt pretty bad and scared and sick, and one reason
-was that Bony stopped playing with us. His father found out about the Red
-Avengers and made him promise he wouldn't play with me and Swatty any more
-because we were bad boys and would ruin Bony. So we never expected to play
-with Bony again, but we did, and this was how it happened.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony's father and mother used to fight like everybody else, and about
-bills, because they were having a fight like that when Bony's father took
-the shotgun and went away from home. I guess it was a hat Bony's mother
-had bought that was the worst, but Bony wasn't sure. He said they began to
-fight when the grocery bill came and fought harder and harder the more
-bills there were, but it wasn't until the hat bill came that Bony's father
-stopped sassing back, and got solemn and quiet and said that sometimes he
-felt that it was no use trying to keep up the struggle against poverty and
-starvation, and that sometimes when these evidences of extravagance came
-in he felt just like going off somewhere by himself and ending everything.
-So then Bony's mother said, &ldquo;Oh! nonsense!&rdquo; and pretty soon Bony's father
-got his shotgun and went out of the house.
-</p>
-<p>
-So Bony just sat there in the room expecting every minute to hear the
-shotgun and to run out and see his father dead in the stable. He sat there
-and pretended to be studying his geography lesson for Monday, but all he
-was doing was listening to hear the shot. It was a mighty mean job, I
-guess, sitting there listening like that, and waiting to hear his father
-kill himself; but he didn't hear anything.
-</p>
-<p>
-So pretty soon he shut up his hook and sort of tiptoed out of the house,
-but he did not dare go near the stable. He didn't know what to do. He went
-out on the front steps and stood there, and pretty soon he saw me and
-Swatty at the corner, and he waved to us and came running, and we waited
-for him.
-</p>
-<p>
-It was January, but it wasn't cold because we were having a thaw. It was
-good snow to make snowballs of, so when Bony started to come toward us we
-made a few snowballs and just threw them at him. I guess we hit him five
-or six times, but he didn't beller for us to stop, like he usually does;
-he put his arm in front of his face and came right on. When he got too
-close for us to throw at him any more we stopped and then we saw he was
-crying.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw, shut up and don't be a baby!&rdquo; Swatty said; &ldquo;we didn't hurt you.&rdquo; But
-Bony kept right on bawling. He didn't bawl the way a cowardy-calf bawls
-when he gets hurt, he bawled like&mdash;well, I guess he bawled like a
-fellow bawls when his father has gone off with a shotgun to shoot himself.
-So then we didn't tell him to shut up any more. Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What's the matter, Bony?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Bony put his arm up against a tree and cried into it, and after he
-had cried awhile he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;My&mdash;my fath-father's out in the barn sh-shooting himself with his
-shotgun!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He ain't neither!&rdquo; Swatty said, and I said it too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;He is, too, killing himself!&rdquo; Bony said, and he blubbered at the same
-time. &ldquo;You needn't think, just because your fath-fathers don't kill
-themselves, nobody else's father never kik-kills himself! My fa-father
-said he'd kik-kill himself, and if he said so he w-will!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! He ain't neither killing himself in the barn!&rdquo; Swatty said, and I
-guess that made Bony mad, because it was like saying Bony's father was a
-liar, or that Bony was, anyway. Mostly Bony wouldn't fight, no matter what
-you said, because he's a cow-ardy-calf; but I guess when a fellow's father
-is killing himself in a barn or anywhere he don't care what happens to
-him, so Bony was so mad he forgot how easy Swatty could lick him, and he
-sort of howled like a cat when you step on its tail and he pitched into
-Swatty with both fists. So Swatty had to lick him. He licked him good. So
-when Swatty had him down and was sitting on him, Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Now is your father killing himself in the barn?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, he is!&rdquo; Bony blubbered, and then we knew that Bony's father was
-really going to kill himself, because if Bony hadn't been pretty sure he
-would have said he wasn't, because he knew how Swatty can push a fellow's
-nose into his face with the bottom of his hand when he has got him down
-and he don't say what Swatty wants him to say. So we knew it must be
-pretty serious. So Swatty didn't push Bony's nose, but he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, your father ain't killing himself in the barn, because he went by
-here a little while ago with his shotgun. How do you know he's going to
-kill himself?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I know it because him and Mother was fighting over bills, and he said he
-would,&rdquo; Bony said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then Swatty said, aw! he didn't believe anybody would kill himself
-because he was fighting over bills. He said he didn't believe any grown-up
-man would fight over a little thing like bills; so that made me mad, and I
-said, aw! any man would fight over bills, and that my father did, and that
-my father was a better man than Swatty's father any day in the week and
-could lick Swatty's father any time they wanted to try it. And that was
-true, and Swatty knew it, because my father was bigger than his father and
-not so old. So Swatty said, aw! well, his oldest brother could lick my
-father, anyway. So I said he'd better try it if he wanted to find out, and
-Swatty said, Aw! And I guess that's all we said about that.
-</p>
-<p>
-Anyway, it didn't seem to make Bony feel any better that his father had
-taken his shotgun and had gone off somewhere else to kill himself instead
-of killing himself right at home in the barn. He kept right on with a kind
-of whine-blubber, even when Swatty and me were jawing, so Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! what you bellerin' about?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I'll&mdash;I'll beller if I want to,&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;I guess you'd beller if
-your father was going to kill himself, you would.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I would not so!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;What's the use of bellerin' when you can't
-do nothing about it? If he's going to kill himself, he's going to, and you
-can't help it. If my father was going to do what you said your father was
-going to do I'd let him do it, and I wouldn't spoil everybody's fun by
-bawling about it. I'd just go ahead and play like nothing was going to
-happen, until I had to go in and dress for the funeral.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess that wasn't a very good thing for Swatty to say, because it
-made Bony blubber more than ever. So then Swatty got sore and disgusted
-and he said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! shut up, then, and we'll go and find your father and take the shotgun
-away from him, if you 're going to be a baby about it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That's the way Swatty always is; me or Bony would never think of going and
-taking a shotgun away from a father that wanted to kill himself, and if we
-did think of it we would never dare to do it; but Swatty wouldn't care who
-he took a shotgun away from if he got mad because somebody bellered about
-nothing. So we knew he'd do it if we went along. So we went along.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we saw Bony's father go by with the shotgun he was going toward
-downtown, so me and Bony and Swatty started toward downtown, and we talked
-about where Bony's father would probably go to kill himself if he didn't
-want to kill himself in his barn, and none of us thought he would go
-downtown to do it because somebody might see him start to do it and stop
-him. So we talked about it and we made up our minds we would go over into
-the Illinois bottom, across the Mississippi, because a man once went over
-there to kill himself, and did it and nobody bothered him while he was
-doing it or knew about it until afterward.
-</p>
-<p>
-Of course the ferry wasn't running, but it was easy enough for Bony's
-father to get across the river because the ice was frozen and the river
-was closed and he could go over on the ice.
-</p>
-<p>
-We went down to the river. There was a good deal of water on the ice in
-some places, and the snow was mushy everywhere on it and it was pretty bad
-walking. I guess you know what the river is like when it is closed. There
-is a lot of snow on it because nobody shovels it off, and they couldn't if
-they tried, because the river is three quarters of a mile wide there, and
-there's no place to shovel the snow to, and it's just as good right where
-it is as it would be anywhere else.
-</p>
-<p>
-But before the thaw comes the snow blows off some of the smooth places and
-banks up against the rough places on the ice in drifts. The river don't
-freeze over all at once&mdash;the ice floats down and jams and stops and
-the bare places between freeze over; but when the ice jams, it crumples up
-on the edges and makes ridges, and it is where the ridges are that the
-snow banks up into drifts. Sometimes the drifts are all around a smooth
-sheet of ice, and then when the snow begins to melt, the smooth ice turns
-into a sort of pond, and maybe the water on top of the ice is an inch deep
-and maybe it is more.
-</p>
-<p>
-Here and there there are air holes, because I guess a river has to breathe
-like anybody else and the air holes are where it breathes. They are
-different sizes.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the road across the river on the ice is always crooked. The farmers
-over in Illinois make the road to bring over cordwood and hay and stuff,
-because they can bring it over on the ice free and it costs twenty-five
-cents a load when the ferry is running.
-</p>
-<p>
-So the first farmer that dares drive across on the ice starts out from the
-Illinois shore, and he starts straight, but pretty soon he has to curve
-around a drift, and then he has to curve around an air hole, and then he
-has to go around a piece of ice that looks thin, and by the time he has
-got to town he has made a crooked road; and the next farmer drives in the
-same path, because the first farmer's horses' shoes have roughed it up a
-little and made it easier to travel.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that is how the road gets made, and before very long it gets to be
-quite a road. It gets dark and dirty from the horses and the dirt off the
-cordwood and maybe some coal the farmers take home, and there are wisps of
-hay all along, rubbed off loads when they passed other teams.
-</p>
-<p>
-By the time the thaw comes, a good deal of the river in front of town gets
-so you know how it looks, just like the town itself. The wood road goes
-zigzagging across, and maybe&mdash;if it is a cold winter&mdash;the
-trotting-horse men have a speed track on the ice that is different from
-the wood road and marked off to show a mile. Wagon loads of waste stuff
-get dumped on the ice in piles and maybe a dozen or two dozen dead horses.
-You get so you know how it looks, and you get to feeling as if the river
-had always been frozen over and had always looked like that. Maybe you
-have names for things, so anybody like Swatty or Bony knows what you mean
-when you say: &ldquo;You know, where the wood road comes nearest to the
-horseshoe air hole.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, it was pretty mushy when we started across the river. It was warm,
-too, warm enough to make us sweat; but there was a good breeze blowing
-from the Illinois shore and it wasn't as warm as it might have been. But,
-anyway, it was warm. Swatty showed us where to go. He went first and we
-went behind him, and pretty soon we were far off the wood road because
-wherever there was a drier place he went that way.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we got out toward the middle of the river, away from the town dirt, I
-wished we hadn't come. Out there the ice hadn't been cut up by being
-skated on, and there were whole big places where the ice was perfectly
-smooth and green and clear, and with the snow water on top of it we
-couldn't tell whether it was ice or air hole. We had to walk on the snow
-close to the ridges, because there we knew there was ice under us, even if
-we did wade through slush up to our knees. It was scary enough for anybody
-and Bony began to cry.
-</p>
-<p>
-I guess we would have gone back if it hadn't been for Swatty, and even
-Swatty didn't tell Bony to shut up and stop crying. I guess Swatty felt
-pretty scared himself. You couldn't see anybody on the ice anywhere; we
-were the only ones. I guess everybody was afraid to go on the ice, it was
-getting so rotten. That's what I thought then, but it wasn't the reason;
-Swatty knew the real reason, but he didn't tell us then because he was
-afraid we would be more scared than we were. Nobody was on the ice because
-they were afraid it might go out any minute.
-</p>
-<p>
-So all Swatty did was to say, &ldquo;Hurry up!&rdquo; because he was afraid if we
-didn't hurry up maybe the ice would go out before we got across, and
-nobody likes to get drowned in ice water.
-</p>
-<p>
-So pretty soon we came to a place where there wasn't any snow and where
-there were no ridges&mdash;nothing but clear ice with water on it, and the
-wind making little ripples. Bony cried, and I said, &ldquo;Aw! let's go back,
-Swatty!&rdquo; because you couldn't tell whether it was ice under that water or
-air hole. Swatty looked all around, but he couldn't see any way to get to
-Illinois but to cross right over. Neither could any of us. So Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;All right for you! You and Bony can let his father kill himself if you
-want to; but I won't, and when I get back I'll lick you both.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, we didn't care if he did lick us. We'd rather be licked than be
-drowned. So Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw! Come on! I wouldn't have come if I thought you were a couple of
-cry-baby cowardy-calves. I'll dare you to come!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-But we didn't. So Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I double tribble dare you, and whoever don't take the dare is a sooner!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, a sooner was the worst thing anybody could call you; even Bony would
-fight if you called him a sooner, but we didn't care what he called us;
-but just then we heard a gun go off over in the woods, and before either
-of us could stop him Bony started. He ran right out on the wet ice, crying
-and blubbering, and he fell down in the water and got up again and ran on.
-Every little while he would fall down, but he would get right up and run
-again. The water was almost up to his knees, but he didn't care. I guess
-he kind of liked his father and wanted to get to him.
-</p>
-<p>
-Swatty shouted and told him to stop and come back, or anyway to wait for
-us, but Bony ran right on. Swatty shouted:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Hey, Bony! come back, I was only fooling! Your father ain't going to kill
-himself.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Because Swatty knew Bony's father wasn't going to kill himself, but he was
-afraid Bony would be drowned. He just wanted us to cross the river because
-nobody had ever crossed it when the ice was so rotten and we would be the
-first that ever did it, and he knew we wouldn't do it unless we thought we
-were going to save Bony's father, or something. So all we could do was to
-go after Bony, and we did. We waded through the water after Bony, and I
-was glad Bony had gone first because we were sure there was no air hole
-where Bony had been ahead of us.
-</p>
-<p>
-But I made Swatty give me his hand anyway. I didn't like it much. I didn't
-like it any.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, we got across, and before we got across Bony had reached the shore
-ice. It was pretty rotten and it rubbered down under him, and if he hadn't
-been running so fast I guess he would have broken through. Then he stopped
-and looked, because between him and the shore was a wide open space&mdash;no
-ice, nothing but water. He just stopped and looked, and then looked back
-at us and then he ran to the edge of the ice, and it broke under him and
-he was in water up to his arms. It was because there was a long sandbar
-reached out from the shore there; if not he would have been drowned. So he
-walked through the water about half a block and me and Swatty went after
-him. Gee, it was cold!
-</p>
-<p>
-When we got ashore Bony was up in the woods and we could hear him
-shouting, &ldquo;Papa! Papa!&rdquo; and crying, too. It was kind of a sick shout, part
-cry and part shout. It sounded like &ldquo;Pwaw-pwa! Uh-uh! Pwaw-pa!&rdquo; and then &ldquo;<i>Pwaw</i>-pwa!
-<i>Pwaw</i>-pwa!&rdquo; and then &ldquo;Uh-uh-uh!&rdquo; like a little kid cries when it has
-lost a penny it meant to get candy with and has cried all the way home.
-</p>
-<p>
-All of a sudden we heard the shotgun again. It was toward down-river and
-not near us at all. Bony heard it, too, and he stopped to listen and we
-caught up with him. I guess he was as good as crazy, because when we got
-to him he started to run, and he ran right into a grapevine tangle and
-began pulling and pushing through it, although he could have taken ten
-steps and have gone around it. I guess he must have liked his father a lot
-to get so crazy about him. Swatty went right after him. He swore at him in
-German and told him that the way was to go out on the shore where the sand
-was, so he could run faster. So Bony went and we went, too, and we all
-ran.
-</p>
-<p>
-We didn't say much. Swatty kept telling Bony what kind of a fool he was
-for thinking his father was going to kill himself, and Bony kept sobbing
-and running. I guess maybe I cried a little, too. I felt kind of&mdash;I
-don't know&mdash;frightened, I guess. So then we got around the bend, and
-all at once we saw Bony's father.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was out on the ice. When we saw him first he was about as far out on
-the ice as two blocks would be, and he had on his rubber boots and his
-hunting coat, and it looked bulged around the pockets, so me and Swatty
-knew he had been hunting and had got two rabbits, or maybe three. We
-guessed that what had happened was that when he got sick of fighting about
-bills he went hunting, to forget about it, because Swatty's father&mdash;when
-he felt that way&mdash;went down to his tailor shop and sewed coats or
-pants, and when my father felt that way he would go out and split wood or
-maybe clean out the barn. But I guess Bony's father thought he'd go
-hunting. I guess maybe he thought he'd like to kill something.
-</p>
-<p>
-When we saw him out on the ice he was walking fast, or sort of running,
-going toward the Iowa shore, but that wasn't what scared us. What scared
-us was that the ice was moving!
-</p>
-<p>
-We didn't see it at first. Bony was yelling at his father, and his father
-heard him and turned and looked back, and then started to run toward us.
-Where we were, at the bend, the ice came close in to the high bank and on
-the ice there was a limb of a big tree. Somebody had made a fire under it
-and it was partly burned. Bony ran up and down the bank looking for a good
-place to climb down, but Swatty was going to slide down right there and
-let his feet get on that old dead limb. But when Bony's father saw Bony
-running up and down he shouted to Jim, &ldquo;Back! Back!&rdquo; Swatty looked at
-Bony's father to see why he was shouting that. Then he looked down at the
-old limb again. It had moved along!
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, you bet he was frightened for a minute! He wasn't thinking of the
-ice, he was thinking of that dead branch, and for a dead branch to start
-and move like that isn't natural. He felt the way you feel when you go to
-pick up a stick and it is a live snake. For a minute he just stood and
-held his breath and was scared, and then he saw it wasn't the dead limb
-that was moving but the ice, and he grabbed my arm and pointed. And just
-then the fire-whistle on the waterworks over in town began to blow.
-</p>
-<p>
-That was a sure sign the ice was going out, It was to let folks know so
-they could come down and see the ice go out because, you bet, it is worth
-seeing. You can't tell what the ice will do when it starts to go out.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then we knew the ice must be going out faster on the Iowa side than on
-our side. What Bony's father was trying to say and do was to tell us to
-keep off the ice, and to get off it himself; but he did not have to tell
-us much because before he got close enough for us to hear him much the ice
-was making such a noise we couldn't hear him at all. And he couldn't get
-off! The ice began to pile up against the upper side of the bend, shearing
-itself off and sliding on top of itself and leaving a big open space below
-the bend.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, I guess Bony cried then! And he had something to cry about that
-time. His father came running as near as he could to us, but it wasn't
-very near, because the ice near shore was cracking up into big pieces. He
-ran up-stream on the ice, shouting to us all the time, but the ice was
-going downstream, and at last it floated down so there was an air hole
-opposite us and he had to stop. I say he had to stop, but he kept going,
-because the ice carried him on down the river. He looked all around, and
-then waved his arm at us and started to run toward the Tow Head.
-</p>
-<p>
-The Tow Head is a big island in the river but nearer Iowa than Illinois,
-where we were. The wind was pushing the ice over that way, and I guess he
-thought maybe he could get off the ice on the Tow Head if he could get
-there before the ice carried him by.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony's father ran around the air hole and kept running up and across, and
-he ran hard; but by that time the ice was going pretty fast, so me and
-Swatty and Bony got down to the sand and ran down-stream as fast as we
-could. Or maybe not as fast as we could; we kept even with Bony's father.
-He was running up-stream but he was going downstream all the time.
-</p>
-<p>
-Pretty soon the old race track the men had made on the ice went by, and
-then the end of the wood road went by. It was funny to think that me and
-Bony and Swatty were running one way and Bony's father the other way, and
-that we kept right opposite each other. But it wasn't very funny, because
-we all thought Bony's father would be drowned.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, the ice went past the Tow Head. It went past before Bony's father
-was halfway to the Tow Head, and he stopped running and stood still. Then
-he turned and started to run toward us again.
-</p>
-<p>
-On our side of the river the water between the shore and the ice was
-getting wider and wider, because the river was wider here and because the
-wind was blowing the ice toward the Iowa shore. If I had been Bony's
-father I would have run for the Iowa shore because the ice was pushing up
-against it, but it would have been foolish because the Tow Head was like a
-knife and split all the ice as it came to it. Nobody could get across from
-where Bony's father was to the Iowa shore, but I did not think of that.
-But Bony's father did. So did Swatty. He said so afterward. He said he
-would have done just what Bony's father did.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony was crying, of course, and he was running in front, because he wanted
-to see his father drowned if he was drowned, I guess. I was next, but
-Swatty was behind because he had stopped to look, and that was the way we
-were when we came to the mouth of the First Slough. The ice was rubbery,
-but Bony and me ran across and up the bank and in through the woods&mdash;you
-have to, there&mdash;and kept right on as soon as we came out on the
-shore.
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony's father was getting nearer and nearer, but the stretch of water was
-getting wider. It was too wide for anybody to swim, of course. I felt kind
-of sick. I don't know why&mdash;I guess it was because I thought, all at
-once, that I was running like that just to see a man drown in the river,
-and it made me sick. I shouted to Bony, but he kept on running and then I
-looked at Bony's father.
-</p>
-<p>
-He was still running, but he had his hand in the air and he was waving a
-white handkerchief, and then he put it in his pocket and just ran. Pretty
-soon I looked back for Swatty, and I saw him!
-</p>
-<p>
-He wasn't on the shore. He&mdash;but that's what Swatty is like. He was in
-a skiff, rowing as hard as he could toward the ice!
-</p>
-<p>
-Bony and me had run across the First Slough without thinking of anything
-but hurrying up, but Swatty, when he came to the Slough, thought, &ldquo;Well,
-if anybody has a boat around here they would haul it into the Slough where
-the river ice wouldn't sweep it away or crush it.&rdquo; So he just took a look,
-and there was a skiff. It was hauled up under a tree and padlocked to the
-tree. It looked as if it was there for good and all, but when Swatty
-looked at the boat the chain was just stapled into the boat and all he did
-was pry out the staple with a piece of driftwood. There were no oarlocks,
-but you can make a thole pin with a piece of wood, and that was what
-Swatty did. He made thole pins with pieces of driftwood and he pried the
-skiff down to the ice and slid it to the river, and then he jumped in and
-began rowing with two pieces of driftwood for oars.
-</p>
-<p>
-I shouted to Bony and he stopped, and we turned back and ran. Swatty was
-n't trying to keep up with the ice, he was trying to get to it any way he
-could, and he was having a pretty hard time of it. First one thole pin
-broke and then the other and he had to paddle. I thought he'd never reach
-the ice.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>
-</p>
-<div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
-<img alt="316 (65K)" src="images/316.jpg" width="100%" /><br />
-</div>
-<p>
-Even Bony stopped crying.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty got to the ice, but he couldn't land on it. He just sort of
-hugged it with the boat, and Bony and me had to run again to keep even
-with him. Then Bony's father came to the edge of the ice and tried it
-carefully with his foot, but it was firm because all the weak ice had been
-scraped off at the bend. So all he did was to get into the boat. It was
-easy. Then he took one of the pieces of driftwood and helped Swatty
-paddle.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then everything was all right and Bony's father wasn't drowned or
-hadn't shot himself or anything, so Bony began to cry again.
-</p>
-<p>
-It took us a long time to get the boat back where it belonged and a longer
-time to walk back to opposite the town. It was dark when we got there and
-the ice was still going by, and we knew it might be a week before we could
-get across the river again; but all at once we heard a rifle or a shotgun
-across the river, and then Bony's father fired his, and that let them know
-he was all right. So then we all worked and built a big driftwood fire and
-when it was burning we walked in front of it&mdash;one, two, three, four,
-and then back again: one, two, three, four. We hoped they could see there
-were four of us and that we were all right.
-</p>
-<p>
-And they did, because right away somebody shot off a pistol&mdash;one,
-two, three, four. That meant they knew there were four of us.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, it was two days before we could get across the river again, but we
-got our meals at a house up on the bluff and slept in their barn, and it
-was good enough fun.
-</p>
-<p>
-When Bony got home his father said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Mother, look at this young hero! If it hadn't been for those boys I would
-be dead this minute. Now, stop crying over him, and go and make him the
-biggest lemon meringue pie he ever saw!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So I guess Bony felt all right. But when I got home Mother said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, thank goodness you 're back! That child&mdash;Mamie Little&mdash;has
-pestered the life out of me ever since you went away. For mercy's sake,
-run over and tell her you're home again!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-That was all right, but the best was that Bony's father wasn't mad at us
-any more and he talked with us about Dad Veek's barn. He was pretty solemn
-about it, and when we had told him all we wanted to he said it looked
-serious, but he would help us all he could, and the first thing he did was
-to go to Judge Hannan's office and see Herb Schwartz. So he found that
-Herb was already bestirring himself, but when Bony's father talked to him
-he said he would bestir himself more than ever.
-</p>
-<p>
-<br /><br />
-</p>
-<hr />
-<p>
-<a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> </a>
-</p>
-<div style="height: 4em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-<h2>
-XIV. HERB BESTIRS
-</h2>
-<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">W</span>ell, the first thing Herb Schwartz did was to ask me and Swatty to go
-down to Judge Hannan's office after school one day and we went. Bony
-didn't go because Herb didn't want him to, and when we went in the office
-Herb was sitting at a desk and he turned around in his chair and told us
-to sit down. So we did. We thought maybe the first thing he would tell us
-was that we were doomed and plumb goners, and how many years we'd have to
-be in reform school, but he didn't. He looked at me and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, George, how is your sister Frances?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;She's pretty good, I guess,&rdquo; I told him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's nice,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And how do you like having that Burton fellow of
-hers bestirring himself around to put you in reform school.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I guess I don't like it very well.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I shouldn't think you would,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;But I suppose your sister Frances
-likes it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;She does not!&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;That's strange,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;She thinks you are a totally depraved young
-reprobate, don't she? It seems to me that the last conversation I had with
-her she said that, or words to that effect. I supposed she was the one
-that set that Burton fellow on you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, she didn't!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;My mother did.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh! your mother did, did she?&rdquo; Herb asked, but he grinned.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, she didn't either,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;All she did was to get Tom Burton to
-bestir himself, so Dad Veek wouldn't go to jail or anything. She didn't
-know he was going to bestir himself against me and Swatty. My mother don't
-want me to go to reform school. And Fan don't.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then Herb asked Swatty if, for goodness' sake! he couldn't sit still
-without knocking his heels against his chair. Then he said to me:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Is it possible that your sister believes you are capable of
-regeneration?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't know what it is,&rdquo; I told him, &ldquo;but I guess so.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; Herb said, &ldquo;she thinks there may be some good in you after all,
-does she?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, sir,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-So then he laughed and shook his head as if it was funny. I guess I knew
-why. I guess it was because the reason Fan had thrown his ring at him was
-because he said I was some good and she said I wasn't, and now she thought
-the way he thought.
-</p>
-<p>
-Then Herb sobered up and asked about the fire and we told him everything,
-even about the Red Avengers. He asked questions and we answered them, and
-he seemed to know almost more about it than we did. He knew about what we
-told Toady Williams when we were just bragging and that we had bragged
-that we had set the barn afire.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;But that was just pretend,&rdquo; I said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;A mighty bad kind of pretend,&rdquo; Herb said, and he asked us some more
-questions. He would look at some papers on his desk and then ask some more
-questions. When he got through asking he said: &ldquo;Well, if the case has to
-go into court Mr. Rascop will defend you two young rascals, and if the
-case comes before Judge Hannan I think you'll have every chance that can
-be hoped for, but I don't like the looks of things. Judge Hannan knows
-what boys are, but if the case goes before some old stiff it is going to
-be hard to make him think your brag to Toady Williams was just pure brag.
-At the best it looks as if one of you two must have dropped a com-silk
-cigarette stub in the shavings. You two had better walk straight and keep
-out of trouble from now on. I'll do what I can for you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So we went out and we were pretty scared. We didn't say much. We just
-walked along for a while. Then Swatty said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Say! I know who wrote all those questions Herb asked us.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Who did?&rdquo; I asked him.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Fan did,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;because I saw what Herb was reading from, and I saw
-the last page and it said, 'Yours humbly, Frances.'&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So that was how Herb knew so much about it, because I had told Fan and she
-had told Herb in the letter. At first I was pretty mad that she should be
-a tattle-tale but then I guessed that was how she was bestirring herself,
-because it didn't do any good to bestir with Tom Burton.
-</p>
-<p>
-When I got home it was almost supper time but Fan came to the front porch
-when she heard me and asked me if I had seen Herb, and all about it, and I
-told her.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, Georgie,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I'll stick by you through thick and thin,&rdquo; and
-then she began to cry and ran into the house, and I went in and mother
-stopped me in the hall.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;George,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;this is a terrible affair and I don't know what will
-be the end of it, but if I could give my life to keep you from harm I
-would gladly do so. And, whatever comes of it, you must be tender to Fan,
-because she quarreled with Herb because of you and now she has quarreled
-with Tom, and she loves you very much,&rdquo; or something like that.
-</p>
-<p>
-So I felt pretty mean, because a boy don't like that kind of talk, and
-when I went upstairs and Lucy was coming down I gave her a push. She said:
-&ldquo;You stop that! Are you and Swatty going to reform school?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;None of your business,&rdquo; I told her.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Oh! you don't need to think I'd ask you, smarty!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I don't
-care. I only asked you because Mamie Little asked me to ask you.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then I felt how awful it would be to go to reform school and everything
-and I went up to my room and cried on my bed. I was up there, but mostly
-done crying, when my father came up. He put his hand on me and said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Here, now! None of this, old sport. Buck up! We'll get you out of this
-all right, some way. Come on down to supper.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-So then he kissed me. He hadn't kissed me for a long time before that,
-because men don't, but it was all right this time. I went down to supper
-like he said.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, Herb and my father and Swatty and me had a meeting nearly every
-night in our dining-room and talked about how we were getting along, but
-we weren't getting along very much. The only thing that got along was Fan,
-and she was making up to Herb again. She would come into the dining-room
-and sit and talk to Herb and father, but she couldn't fool me. She was
-making up to Herb all right. I could see that.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, one day Tom Burton came over to our house and Fan and Tom Burton had
-a regular row. It was a dandy. And that settled Tom, I guess. He never
-came to our house again.
-</p>
-<p>
-Me and Swatty had to go to school just the same as ever. I wished, if they
-were going to send us to reform school they would go ahead and do it,
-because Miss Carter began to get mean to us. Professor Martin was back and
-nearly every day Miss Carter kept us in school and Professor Martin came
-in and talked to her while she kept us in. Mostly they walked home
-together, because me and Swatty saw them.
-</p>
-<p>
-Well, me and Swatty had been sort of mad at Bony, like I told you, but you
-can't keep mad always, and we started to letting him be with us again. So
-one day me and Swatty and Bony got out of school late, because Miss Carter
-had kept us in, and Scratch-Cat had been kept in, too. We all came out of
-the schoolhouse together. It was almost spring again and Bony had some
-marbles he had bought, so we said:
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Let's play marbles.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Scratch-Cat didn't want to.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, you don't have to,&rdquo; Swatty told her. &ldquo;You're a girl, anyway. What
-do you want to play?&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;I don't want to play anything,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I've got a better game than a
-play-game, and you can be in it if you want to.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;What is it, then?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Secret society,&rdquo; Scratch-Cat said. &ldquo;I thought it all up in school to-day
-and it's Gypsies. Swatty will be the king and I'll be the queen, and
-Georgie and Bony can be princes, and we 'll take an oath to be mean to
-Miss Carter or anybody that keeps us in school or anything. We'll think up
-things to do to them, and when Miss Carter and Professor Martin are
-married we'll steal their children and raise them to be gypsies&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Aw!&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;they ain't going to be married.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, they are!&rdquo; Scratch-Cat said. &ldquo;Because I saw him kiss her. He kissed
-her in the cloak room almost before I was out of it, just now.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, we ain't going to be secret gypsies or any secret society,&rdquo; Bony
-said, &ldquo;because me and Swatty and Bony have one already.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, we haven't,&rdquo; Swatty said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;We have, too!&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;We've got the Red Aven&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-He stopped pretty short, you bet.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, we haven't,&rdquo; Swatty said again. &ldquo;We never had. We had a meeting and
-voted that there wouldn't be any Red Avengers any more and that there
-never had been.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;But&mdash;but you couldn't,&rdquo; Bony said.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Yes, we could,&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;We started it and I guess we had a right to
-stop it. Me and Georgie we voted on it. There never was any Red Avengers.
-And I'll lick anybody that says there was.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;But&mdash;but don't we have to be true to the oath any more?&rdquo; Bony asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Pooh, no!&rdquo; Swatty said. &ldquo;When there ain't any Red Avengers there ain't
-any Red Avengers' oath, or nothing.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;And can't anybody put me in state's prison for saying what the oath says
-I mustn't tell about any Red Avenger?&rdquo; asked Bony.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;No, sir!&rdquo; said Swatty. &ldquo;That oath is a dead oath and don't count no
-more.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Well, then,&rdquo; Bony said. &ldquo;Toady did it!&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Did what?&rdquo; Swatty asked.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;Toady set the barn afire,&rdquo; Bony said, still pretty scared. &ldquo;I couldn't
-tell, because I took oath not to tell on any Red Avenger, but if there
-ain't any oath Toady did it. I saw him. He had a pack of real cigarettes
-and he didn't dare smoke while he was skating because Miss Carter was
-skating on the creek, too.
-</p>
-<p>
-&ldquo;So I guess Toady thought he would go up to the Nest to have a smoke,&rdquo;
- Bony went on, &ldquo;and I was going home. So when we got up to the Nest he
-asked me if I wanted to smoke a real cigarette, and I said I didn't. So
-Toady lit one and threw down the match, and it set the shavings afire. So
-he tried to stamp the fire out, but it spread too fast, and so he ran, and
-I ran, and when we looked back the barn was all afire. So he said that if
-I ever told he would have me sent to state's prison for breaking the Red
-Avengers' oath and telling on a fellow comrade. But he did it, and I saw
-him do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
-<p>
-Well, Swatty got up and gave a yell and he had to hit some one, so he hit
-Scratch-Cat, and she went for him and they had a good fight, but Swatty
-was laughing all the time, and he didn't fight as hard as he mostly did.
-When they got through fighting they shook hands, and we all went down to
-Herb's and he listened to what we had to tell him.
-</p>
-<p>
-That ended it, except that he sent the engagement ring back to Fan in a
-letter and she kept it, and Mr. Williams, who was Toady's father, moved
-out of town mighty quick and took Toady with him, because Herb telephoned
-him right away and I guess he thought he had better do it.
-</p>
-<p>
-So that's all. Me and Swatty didn't go to reform school. We didn't go
-anywhere. The only others that went anywhere were Herb and Fan. They went
-on a marriage trip, or whatever you call it.
-</p>
-<p>
-THE END
-</p>
-<div style="height: 6em;">
-<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: Swatty
- A Story of Real Boys
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44154]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SWATTY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-
-SWATTY
-
-A Story of Real Boys
-
-By Ellis Parker Butler
-
-With Illustrations
-
-HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
-
-1920
-
-TO FRED ERNST SCHMIDT
-
-OF MUSCATINE, IOWA THE FAITHFUL COMPANION OF MY BOYHOOD THIS BOOK IS
-MOST GRATEFULLY INSCRIBED
-
-
-
-
-
-SWATTY
-
-A STORY OF REAL BOYS
-
-
-
-
-I. THE BIG RIVER
-
-I guess if teachers always knew how lickings were going to turn out they
-wouldn't lick us fellows so much. I am thinking about Miss Murphy, the
-one that taught the room me and Swatty and Bony was in, and about the
-time she was going to lick Swatty. One of the times. There were plenty
-of others.
-
-You see, me and Swatty and Bony is chums, and we go together mostly,
-but this was when we was in Miss Murphy's room. She's a good-looker, but
-she's a tartar, too, when it comes to licking.
-
-The way of it was this: My sister Fan was mushy over Swatty's brother
-Herb and she didn't care who knew it, because they were engaged, and Fan
-was fixing up her things to get married in, and she wished I was a girl
-so I could be her flower girl at the wedding, but she didn't know what
-she'd do with me. She thought maybe she'd lock me in the cellar, she
-said, but she didn't mean it. She was always codding me and Swatty.
-She'd cod us that way, and then she'd give us a dime or something. She
-was all right, and Swatty thought so too.
-
-So then Fan and Herb had a fight, like girls and fellows always do have;
-but this was a good one. It was because Herb said maybe Fan would like
-to have Miss Murphy for a bridesmaid, and Fan got mad because Herb had
-gone with Miss Murphy once. So then Fan wouldn't forgive Herb. Herb came
-over and fought for three evenings, and then Swatty brought a note from
-him to Fan, and I took one from Fan to Herb, and that was the end of it.
-The note I took had a ring in it, because I could feel it. Then Fan just
-moped around the house and cried some, and after a while Herb had to go
-and teach the eighth grade at school, because Professor Martin broke
-his leg on the ice the janitor ought to have scraped off the steps but
-didn't. So right away Herb began to get thick with Miss Murphy, but that
-didn't make any difference to me. As soon as a fellow hasn't got one
-girl he has another one, anyway, and I didn't blame Herb. I was
-just sorry for Fan. And I thought Herb was crazy to make up to a
-school-teacher, especially a tartar like Miss Murphy. She was an awful
-licker. She'd lick a fellow for anything.
-
-Well, one day me and Swatty was going to school and we was talking at
-each other the way we always did, and I said he thought he was great,
-didn't he, because his brother was Miss Murphy's beau, and Miss Muiphy
-wouldn't lick him when his brother was her beau. I didn't mean anything,
-I just said it, but Swatty hauled off and hit me one and dared me to
-say that again. So I said it again, and all the fellows got around and
-yelled "Fight! Fight!" and I had to fight him. It would have been a
-pretty good fight if Miss Murphy hadn't come along. She jumped right at
-us and grabbed us both.
-
-"Who started this fight?" she asked, hopping mad.
-
-"He did," I said.
-
-"Didn't neither!" said Swatty. "He did."
-
-"Who struck the first blow?" says Miss Muiphy.
-
-Well, everybody told her Swatty did, which was the truth, and she let me
-go.
-
-"Just as I thought, you--you little bulldozer," she said, shaking him.
-"You've been getting entirely too uppish of late, young man. You think
-you can take advantage of--of circumstances; but I'll teach you a thing
-or two. Get into school there, and wash yourself, and see that you are
-in your seat when the bell rings."
-
-So Swatty did it. Me and the Bony Highlander stayed out till the bell
-rung, and then we went in, too, and as we went past Swatty's desk he
-whispered, "She thinks she's going to lick me, but she ain't."
-
-"Bet she does, if she said so," I says; and I bet she would, too. So did
-the Bony Highlander, because we knew she was the sort that would rather
-lick a fellow than not.
-
-Well, that was in the morning, and they never lick at noon because the
-way some fellows wriggle and twist it takes a long time to lick them,
-and it would use up the noon hour. So they lick after school in the
-afternoon when there is plenty of time. So me and the Bony Highlander
-waited for Swatty, and we tried to scare him. We told him we bet Miss
-Murphy would make him holler, because she licked with a rawhide pony
-switch and whipped on the legs where the switch would wrap around and
-sting, but we couldn't get Swatty to even pretend he might holler. He
-said no teacher in the world could make him holler. We all said it. Or,
-I don't know whether the Bony Highlander said it or not. He'd never been
-licked in school. He wasn't the kind that gets licked, somehow. But he
-was a pretty nice fellow, anyway. We liked him just as well, but not as
-well as Swatty and me liked each other of course, because me and Swatty
-was cow-cousins.
-
-Me and Swatty was both raised on the milk of the same cow, but it was
-Schwartzes' cow, and when I was being raised on it Herb Schwartz used to
-fetch the milk around, the way Swatty does now. I guess that's how Herb
-got to know Fan. But the Bony Highlander was just a kid that moved into
-the neighborhood.
-
-His name wasn't really Bony Highlander, but we called him that because
-when he was reading a piece of poetry out of the Reader in school, and
-ought to have said "bonny Highlander," he said "bony Highlander." But
-we mostly called him Bony for short, like we called Schwartzy Swatty for
-short. He was all right, but he never started to do things; he just
-went along when we did them, and waited on the outside of the fence, and
-things like that.
-
-Well, we waited on the corner for Swatty that afternoon until the bell
-rung but he didn't come, so we went along, and he was at school already,
-and after he had stayed in to be licked and Miss Murphy let him out, he
-told us why he went early. He knew where she kept her rawhide, in the
-closet at the end of the room on the shelf where the chalk boxes were,
-and he went early at noon and took his pocket-knife and cut the rawhide
-into little pieces about an inch long. He laid them all out on the shelf
-in a row, and he said he nearly died laughing when she went to pick it
-up and it was all in pieces. So Miss Murphy went to get another rawhide
-from another teacher, but everybody had gone home, and she told Swatty
-she would tend to him to-morrow.
-
-"I'd rather have been licked to-day and then I'd be done with it," I
-said, but Swatty didn't say so.
-
-"If you've got a licking," he said, "you've got it, and you can't ever
-un-get it, but I ain't ever going to get this one. I'll run away first."
-
-"Ah, I bet you get it to-morrow," I said, and the Bony Highlander said
-so too.
-
-"Bet I don't!" said Swatty. So we made a bet. I bet him my clay pipe
-against a nigger-shooter rubber he had.
-
-So the next day was when we'd know, and at noon Swatty came over to my
-barn to get some oilcloth we had in the barn to put in his pants so the
-licking wouldn't hurt so much, and I guessed I would win the bet. But he
-couldn't fix the oilcloth so it would do any good and let him sit down.
-He thought Miss Murphy would be onto it if he couldn't sit down. So he
-gave that up. So we went to school.
-
-When school was nearly out Swatty got up and started to walk down his
-aisle and up the next, like he was going out for a drink, but Miss
-Murphy, who was doing an example on the blackboard for the B class,
-turned around and saw him.
-
-"Where are you going?" she asked, like tacks in a bottle.
-
-"Just to get a drink," said Swatty.
-
-"You take your seat this instant!" said Miss Murphy, and when she said
-it, Swatty started to run; but she got there first and headed him off
-and grabbed him by the arm. He kicked at her shins, but she gave him
-a shake that made him see stars and marched him back to the end of the
-room. I thought she was going to take him to his seat, but she didn't.
-
-Our schoolhouse has four rooms on a floor--two in front and two in
-back--and the hall comes in the middle, but it don't run all the way
-from front to back. In the middle in front on the second floor there is
-a little room with some books in it, and they call it the library room.
-
-It has a window and three doors--one into the hall and one into our
-room, and one into the room across the hall. So Miss Murphy yanked
-Swatty into that room and locked all three doors. So she had him safe
-until she got ready to lick him. Then she was going to unlock the door
-and bring him out and do a good job, because she had a new rawhide all
-ready. I guess she made up her mind she'd lick him until he hollered
-that time.
-
-So Swatty waited until school was out. Then he had to wait until Miss
-Murphy got rid of the ones she had kept in to write their names five
-hundred times, and things like that, but he didn't wait. He opened the
-window and looked out, and right below him was the peak roof of the
-porch. It wasn't very big, and it was slated, and if he slipped he'd
-be a goner and break a leg or something, but he got onto the window
-sill and hung down with his hands on the sill, and dropped. He dropped
-straddle of the roof and hung on the best way he could.
-
-He said the only thing he thought about was what a fool he had been not
-to shut the window, but it was J une and most of the windows were wide
-open anyway, and I guess Miss Murphy didn't notice. She unlocked the
-door and looked into the room and Swatty wasn't there. Then I guess she
-thought maybe somebody had come to the library room for a book and had
-let Swatty out. She never put her head out of the window at all. So she
-was beaten that time, and she went home.
-
-So Swatty waited until the janitor had swept all the rooms and started
-to sweep the walk and he hollered to him. It is none of the janitor's
-business who gets licked or who don't, so he came up to the room and
-helped Swatty get in the window. He just laughed about it.
-
-So the next day Swatty went to school just the same as always, but at
-noon he came over to my barn and Bony came with him. They generally came
-because I had to feed my rabbits at noon. This time Swatty sort of poked
-at the sawdust that was the floor of our barn and didn't say much. He
-most generally wore his hat on the back of his head, but this time he
-had it pulled down over his eyes and that was the way he did when he was
-getting ready to fight a fellow.
-
-After a while he looked up.
-
-"Are you fellows going to school this afternoon?" he asked.
-
-"Yes," I said. "Ain't you?"
-
-"Go and get licked? I guess not!" he said. "I'm going down to the
-river."
-
-"What are you going to do down at the river?" Bony asked.
-
-"Going to look at it; what you think I'm going to do?" said Swatty.
-
-Well, looking at it wasn't a bad thing to do, because the river was
-away up, and when the Mississippi is up it is worth looking at. It looks
-twice as big and sort of rounded up in the middle, and all sorts of
-things floating down it--dead trees, and boxes, and logs, and dead pigs,
-and sometimes sheds and things. It generally gets up in June, and we
-always go down on Saturdays to see how she's getting along.
-
-"She's higher than she ever was," said Swatty.
-
-"Well, I guess she'll be mighty high by Saturday," said Bony.
-
-"No, she won't," said Swatty, "because she's going to begin falling
-to-day, the paper says. Why don't you come along down with me?"
-
-"Yes, and get licked for staying out of school!" I said.
-
-"All right for you fellows, then!" said Swatty. "I'll be mad at you for
-good. If you were going to get licked I'd just _want_ to do something
-so I could get licked too. Don't I always stick by you fellows? And when
-I'm going to get licked you go back on me. You're 'fraid-cats."
-
-"Who's a 'fraid-cat?" I asked, for I don't let anybody call me that.
-
-"You are!" said Swatty. "And so's Bony. You're afraid to stay out of
-school one afternoon. You're afraid to stay out the day the river hits
-high-water mark. You'll look nice, won't you, with just you and Bony and
-a lot of girls in school!"
-
-"Who said we'd be the only kids there?" I asked.
-
-"Who said it? Why, I said it. You don't think any kids will go to school
-this afternoon, do you? Everybody will be down at the levee--men and
-everybody. If the river don't drop this afternoon she'll go over the
-island levee. And you sit around in school like it was a common day!
-Why, it's like--like election, or Fourth of July, or something like
-that! It's worse than when the ice goes out."
-
-Well, I never knew a boy to get licked for staying out of school when
-the ice was going out of the river. He gets kept in the next day, or
-something, but nobody can blame a boy for wanting to see the ice go out,
-not even a teacher. So I guessed I'd go with Swatty, if I could sneak
-it. Bony didn't want to go much, but he didn't like both of us to call
-him a 'fraid-cat, so he came. We climbed out of my barn window, because
-Swatty said we'd have to be careful; but I guess it wasn't much use,
-because if we had gone out of the back gate it would have done just as
-well, and if we had gone out of the front gate nobody would have thought
-anything but that we were going to school. We kept in the alley all the
-way down to Indian Creek, and Indian Creek was worth seeing, I tell you.
-
-Mostly there is nothing in it but a little bit of water twisting along
-in the wet sand, away down in the bottom of the creek bed, but now the
-creek was full right up to the top, and there were rowboats moored in
-it. We played in the rowboats a while, until a man came and chased us
-away, and then we went down along the creek to the river. I tell you,
-she was some river!
-
-She went rushing along, all big and muddy and foamy, and she was half
-covered with floating stuff--bark and whole haystacks and old trees and
-boards and boxes and things. It scared a fellow just to look at her. It
-made me feel the way a little baby feels when a big twelve-wheel mogul
-engine comes roaring up to the depot platform, only ten times as scary.
-It was like a whole ocean starting out to rush away somewhere. We just
-stood and looked at it, and pretty soon Swatty says, "Gosh!" Only he
-always says "Garsh!" And I said, "Gee!" That was all we said, and Bony
-didn't say anything. He just stepped backward three or four steps and
-looked frightened. That's the way you always feel when you see the old
-Mississippi on a rampage. You feel as if you ought to do something to
-stop it, and you know you can't--that nobody can. When it gets going it
-is going to keep right on. So we went down to the levee.
-
-Well, there wasn't any levee! Our levee is just a long down-hill of
-sand, and it wasn't there. The river had backed clean up to the railroad
-tracks and was sploshing against the second rail of the outside track,
-and at the down-river end of the levee it had gone under the tracks
-and was all over Front Street at the corner. The ferry dock, that was
-usually away down at the bottom of the levee, was tied right up close
-to the railroad track, and the ferry was tied in behind the steamboat
-warehouse, so she wouldn't wash away. The water was clean up over the
-floor of the steamboat warehouse, too, and nothing looked the way it
-used to look. It was worth forty lickings just to see how different
-everything was. We just stood and looked and couldn't believe it.
-
-"Come on," said Swatty, all at once, "let's have some fun. Let's take
-off our shoes and stockings and have some fun."
-
-We went across the street and asked a man if we could leave our shoes
-and stockings in his store, and he said we could, and then we went back
-and began to wade where the water wasn't very deep. There were a few
-other boys there, wading, and a lot of men standing around, looking at
-the water. Some would come down and look a while and then go away again,
-and all at once Swatty said, "Garsh! What if our fathers came down
-here!"
-
-So we got away from there, quick. We went down below the steamboat
-warehouse, where the ferryboat was tied, because nobody was apt to come
-down there, and nobody did. We played on the ferryboat a while and then
-we got off her, and Swatty saw where somebody had fastened a lot of logs
-and bridge timbers to the railway track. I guess they were stuff some
-men had gone out in skiffs to catch as they floated by, before the river
-got so rampageous. The way they fastened them was to drive a spike
-in one end and tie a rope to that, and then tie the other end to the
-railway track. So Swatty said, "Come on! Let's have some fun with these
-logs and bridge timbers," or something like that; so we did. We walked
-on them, and some of them would sink under us, and then we would jump to
-another.
-
-Well, there below the steamboat warehouse the water made an eddy, and
-the bark and foam and some sticks kept going around and around in the
-eddy, and pretty soon Swatty said: "Let's ride on these logs," and that
-was all right, too, because we could sit straddle of a log or a bridge
-timber and paddle with our feet. So we did that. Swatty cut three of
-them loose, and we each took a bridge timber, because they didn't turn
-over like the logs did, and we paddled around in the eddy and played
-we were steamboats. I was the "War Eagle," and Swatty was the "Mary
-Morton," and Bony was the "Centennial." We played that a long time and
-then we took boards for paddles, and we could go better that way so we
-played Indians in canoes, and I got on Swatty's timber and let mine go,
-which was all right because the timbers would just go around and around
-in the eddy. But Bony wouldn't get on with us, because he was afraid the
-timber would sink.
-
-It got along to about five o'clock, and Bony said we had better go home.
-He was always the first to want to go home. He told Swatty that Swatty
-would be late going for his cow if he didn't start right away, but
-Swatty said he didn't care if the old cow never got home. He said it
-wouldn't hurt the old cow to wait a while, anyway. So we started to
-paddle around the eddy again, and that time we got almost too far out,
-I guess, and the end of the timber stuck out beyond the eddy into the
-swift water.
-
-"Back her up! Quick!" Swatty yelled, and we both tried to back her with
-our board paddles, but it was too late. The swift water caught her on
-the side and swung her right out into the current. Gee, but she went!
-Right away she was half a block away from Bony and I began to cry, for
-there was no telling where she'd stop. You couldn't expect her to stop
-this side of St. Louis or New Orleans. So I began to cry, and I stooped
-down and hung onto the timber with both arms. It was all I could think
-of to do. But Swatty let on he wasn't scared at all. He tried to paddle
-toward shore, but there was so v much driftwood and stuff floating that
-he couldn't do it.
-
-"Aw, shut up! Don't be a cry-baby!" he yelled at me. "This ain't
-nothing. Grab your paddle, and we'll paddle out to the Tow Head and
-we'll be all right."
-
-The Tow Head is the big island in the river below town, but more to this
-side of the river than to the other side. It is shaped like a horseshoe,
-with the two ends down-stream. Me and Swatty knew it pretty well because
-sometimes we used to row down there. It was all trees except a strip of
-sand on each side, and in low water there used to be a sandbar below it.
-It looked like a good idea to get to the Tow Head if we could; but I was
-afraid to sit up so I just stayed the way I was. But Swatty paddled like
-a good fellow. I guess the current helped him some. In low water there
-are two channels, one on each side of the Tow Head, but when the river
-is on a rampage it don't care anything about channels--it just goes. But
-it kind of bends below town and I guess that helped Swatty.
-
-He kept yelling at me not to be a 'fraid-cat and to paddle, but I didn't
-dare. So he paddled, and pretty soon I saw he was going to hit the Tow
-Head all right. That made me feel better and I kind of raised up on
-my hands and stopped crying, but when I looked I was scared worse than
-ever. It looked as if the Tow Head was coming up-stream like a big
-packet at full tilt. It didn't look as if we were floating down to
-it, but as if it was tearing up-stream toward us, and it was coming
-lickety-split. At its nose, where the water hit it, the river reared up
-in a big yellow wave, like the bow wave of a ship, and was cut into foam
-and spray where it hit the trees and then rushed away on either side
-like mad. So I saw Swatty had made a mistake in trying to land on the
-Tow Head.
-
-There wasn't really any Tow Head to land on. The river was way up in
-the branches of the trees, and I guess the water was ten feet deep all
-over the Tow Head, or deeper, and rushing through the trees like it was
-crazy. But we didn't have time to think much about it. We just had time
-to be scared, and to see the old Tow Head come rushing and foaming at
-us, and then it sort of nabbed us, like a cat nabs a mouse. It was all a
-big swosh of water noises and a big swosh of tree branches being slashed
-by the water, and then me and Swatty was splashed all over, and the
-bridge timber banged into two trees and stuck. Swatty went off the
-timber like a stone out of a nigger-shooter, but I hung on. I've got
-a black and blue spot inside my leg yet, where it hit the edge of the
-timber. Right away the water began to surge over the timber like a giant
-pushing against me, and I saw I couldn't hang on there very long, so I
-reached up and grabbed a branch of one of the trees and hoisted myself
-up and got up in the tree. And there was Swatty! He wasn't in my tree,
-but he was in the tree next below mine.
-
-"Garsh!" he said, and that was all he said right then. So I began to
-cry. It would make anybody cry to be there, up in a tree, with the whole
-Mississippi River rushing along under him, so near he could stick his
-toes down into it. It's an awful thing to think about. You can sit in a
-tree and look at a creek run under you and you don't care, but when the
-Mississippi is on a tear it is different. It's the biggest and strongest
-thing in the world, and there was all of it rushing along right under
-us, and the tree sort of waving back and forth.
-
-So I cried.
-
-"Aw, shut up!" Swatty said. "What are you crying about?"
-
-Well, I guess we were in a pretty bad fix--worse than we thought we
-were. No boat there ever was could get at us where we were. No boat
-could come at that Tow Head the way we did and last a minute, because
-it would smash against the trees. And even if anybody knew where we were
-they couldn't get to us. Even if the strongest men in town tried to
-row a boat up-stream from below the Tow Head they couldn't get to us,
-because they couldn't row among the trees on it. So I cried.
-
-"Shut up!" Swatty yelled at me. "Ain't it bad enough without you
-bellering?"
-
-So there we were.
-
-When Bony saw us go out into the river he sat on his timber with his
-mouth open, and he couldn't even holler--he was so scared--and then he
-just paddled for shore and jumped off his timber and ran. He didn't know
-where he was running--he was just running away from there. He was scared
-stiff. When he come to, he was halfway home, and blubbering and panting,
-and then he sat down on a horse block and didn't know what to do. He
-thought we were drowned, sure. So he thought the best thing to do would
-be to not say anything about it. He was afraid. First he thought he
-would go home and act as if he had been at school and just stayed out
-playing a while, and not do anything else about it and let folks find
-out anyway they could; and then he thought that Mrs. Schwartz would miss
-Swatty when it was time to fetch the cow, and that she would come over
-to his house to see if Swatty was there, and he didn't know what else.
-So he thought he would go over to Swatty's house first and sort of keep
-Mrs. Schwartz from doing anything like that. So he went. He forgot he
-was in his bare feet, or that he had ever had shoes and stockings.
-
-When he got to Swatty's house Mrs. Schwartz was on the front terrace
-in her calico dress and with a birch switch in her hand, looking for
-Swatty, because Swatty knew what time the cow ought to be fetched home.
-Bony went up to the steps.
-
-"Do you want me to fetch the cow home, Mrs. Schwartz?" he asked.
-
-"What for should you fetch the cow home?" said Mrs. Schwartz, as angry
-as could be.
-
-"I thought maybe Swatty was late, and I didn't want to keep you
-waiting," he said.
-
-"For why should you think he was late?" Mrs. Schwartz asked. She always
-talked in a funny way, because she was German.
-
-"I thought maybe he was playing down at the river," said Bony. "Lots of
-boys were playing down there to-day."
-
-"So!" said Mrs. Schwartz. "And he sends you home to get his cow, yes? He
-could get his own cows. I wait for him."
-
-So then Bony didn't know what to say. He stood around. And after a while
-he said:
-
-"Maybe he won't come home to get the cows."
-
-"What do you mean?" asked Mrs. Schwartz. "Maybe he's drowned," said
-Bony. "Maybe him and Georgie went down to the river and--and--"
-
-So then _he_ began to cry, and the first thing anybody knew he had me
-and Swatty drowned and our bodies floating down to St. Louis or New
-Orleans, and Mrs. Schwartz wringing her hands and hollering for Herb. So
-Herb come out on the porch, and Bony told him me and Swatty had floated
-away on a bridge timber and got drowned, and Herb got Mr. Schwartz out
-of the house, and then he come over to my house to tell my father,
-and my father and mother and Fan and all the Schwartzes and a lot
-of neighbors all went running down to the levee, and took the Bony
-Highlander with them to show them where we had got drowned from. So that
-was why Bony didn't go home, and why he got licked when he did get home.
-
-By that time it wasn't dark but it was getting dark. Me and Swatty just
-hung onto our trees, and that was all we could do; but all our folks and
-most everybody in town got down to the levee, because Tim Mulligan at
-the waterworks pump-house blew the alarm whistle. The firemen all came,
-too, with their hose carts and ladder trucks, but most of the folks just
-went around saying it was too bad, but that it was hopeless. Even the
-mayor said it was hopeless. You see, nobody knew we were on Tow Head.
-They thought we were drowned in the river, like Bony said. So there
-wasn't anything to do, because it was too hopeless to do anything. The
-only thing to do was to wait until the river fell, in a couple of weeks
-or so, and then maybe they'd find what was left of me and Swatty
-down-river, where we'd be washed up, if we ever was.
-
-Well, that was what everybody thought. My mother cried, and Mrs.
-Schwartz cried, and I guess most of the women cried, and the men looked
-mighty sober, and said what a pity it was so hopeless; but what could
-they do? Everybody was sober or crying, I guess, except Fan, and I guess
-she'd been so mad at Herb she just couldn't be anything but mad. She was
-so full of mad that it had to come out, so while everybody was crying
-and all she just flew up in the air and went over and gave Herb a good
-raking.
-
-"Well!" she says. "And you call yourself a man! Do you mean to stand
-around here like a bump on a log and do nothing?" she says. "I'm glad
-I found out in time what a helpless ninny you are," or something
-like that. She gave it to him good, I tell you! "This trash," she
-says--meaning the mayor and the firemen and the city council and
-everybody--"I don't expect anything else from, but I once thought you
-had some gump." Or something like that. So Herb got red.
-
-"Very well," he says, like a man ready to jump off the high school roof,
-"if you say so, I'll take a skiff and go out upon the river. You can't
-call me a 'fraid-cat, Fan. You'll never call me that." Or something like
-that, he said.
-
-"Skiff indeed!" says Fan. "You'd have a nice picnic with a skiff,
-wouldn't you? Have some sense, Herbert Schwartz. What good is that
-ferryboat doing, tied up here?"
-
-Well, that was what they done. At first Captain Hewitt didn't want to
-take the ferryboat out. He said it was hopeless, and that she was an
-old rotten hull, and that a log would go through her like a needle,
-and she'd sink, and she couldn't make headway up-stream against such a
-flood, and a lot more, but with all the folks in town there he couldn't
-keep that up long; so he went aboard and fired up, and sent up-town
-for Jerry Mason, who was the regular fireman. By that time it was dark
-enough for anybody, so Mr. Higgins, the steamboat agent, went and got
-the two flambeaux he uses when steamboats unload at night, and everybody
-that had a porch lantern with a reflector got that, and they put them
-all on the ferryboat. Flambeaux are big iron baskets on iron poles,
-and the poles are pointed at the bottom so they can be jabbed into the
-ground or a floor or anything. You fill the baskets with tar and wood
-and light them. So when that was all ready most of the firemen got
-aboard with their hooks, off the hook and ladder trucks, and a lot of
-other men got aboard with pike poles and grapple hooks, and Herb went
-up in the pilot house with Captain Hewitt, and they set out to find our
-bodies.
-
-But me and Swatty wasn't bodies yet, we was still folks. We were
-feeling a little bit better, too, because Swatty found out that the tree
-he was in was a slippery elm tree, and he peeled off some slippery elm
-bark and chewed it, and he tossed some over to me, and I chewed that.
-So we wondered how long a fellow could live on slippery elm bark, and if
-Swatty would have the tree peeled clean before the river went down. If
-he did we'd starve to death; but Swatty said that, as the water went
-down, more and more of the tree trunk would be above water and we
-could peel it and eat it. So we both felt better, only there was a dead
-something had caught in the tree branches and when the wind changed it
-didn't smell very good. It smelled worse than that, even. So about then
-we began to see the lights come out on shore, and pretty soon we saw
-the big, smoky light the flambeaux made. We thought it was a bonfire on
-shore up at town.
-
-Well, I guess we'd have been bodies before anybody got to us, anyway,
-if we hadn't had some bad luck. Me and Swatty was there in our trees
-chewing away at slippery elm when all at once something big and black
-come slamming down onto the point of the Tow Head. It looked like a
-house, but I guess it was only a cow shed or something like that, that
-had got floated off the river bottoms by the flood. It came all of a
-sudden, and before we knew what had happened it hit the Tow Head point
-and banged into the tree I was on, and the water began to rush over
-it, and then all at once the tree I was on began to give. It began to
-topple. It went slow at first and then it went quicker, and it fell over
-against the tree Swatty was in, and the shed came bumping after it, and
-then Swatty's tree keeled over, too, and me and Swatty went down under,
-and the shed come grating over us--right over our heads and pushing our
-trees down into the water.
-
-All I ever knew was that the next thing I knew I was slammed up against
-the side of the shed by the water and pushed against it like a big hand
-was pushing me, and I was fighting to get more out of the water, and
-then the shed sort of melted and went to pieces and I was holding onto a
-board and going down with the current between the trees of the Tow Head.
-Sometimes the board hit a tree, and sometimes it didn't, but I thought
-I was all over with, anyway, and then right ahead of me I saw the water
-rushing and roaring up against something.
-
-I didn't know what it was, but it was a log raft the mill folks had put
-in behind the Tow Head so it wouldn't get washed away. It was in the
-inside of the horseshoe, and all across the front of it was driftwood
-and trash and old boards and everything, and that was what the water was
-splashing against, and before I knew it I was slammed up against it--me
-and my board. And what I slammed up against was the bridge timber I had
-been on before, or one like it. If I had slammed up against where it was
-just bark and driftwood I would have clawed at it a while and then gone
-under, I guess; but I crawled onto the timber and just lay there and
-tried to get the water out of my nose. It looked like half a mile of
-driftwood was jammed in between me and the log raft--jammed in and
-pushed together the way a flood can jam it and push it.
-
-Well, that timber wasn't any place to be. The water rushed against it
-and over it, so I was getting ducked all the time, and I put out my hand
-and tried the drift stuff, but it didn't seem like it would hold me up,
-but there was one board that was on top of the stuff, and I tried that.
-I slid over onto it and it seemed all right, so I edged along it, and
-when I got to the end of the board the drift stuff seemed firmer and
-I got on my stomach and edged out onto it. It was firm enough, but not
-very firm, but on my stomach that way I covered a good deal of it at a
-time, and I sort of wiggled along, and the more I wiggled the firmer it
-got. It had to, with all the river pushing it, and the driftwood back of
-it pushing too.
-
-So it took me about an hour to get to the log raft, and when I got to
-the edge logs, that are chained together, I was all scratched and sore
-and I just sat down and cried, because I knew Swatty was dead.
-
-And all at once he said, "Hello, Georgie!" and there he was, crawling
-along the logs toward me. He said he went under when the tree fell over,
-and that he went under all the driftwood and come up through a hole
-in the raft. Maybe he did. There were holes enough in the raft. But I
-didn't get there that way.
-
-Anyway, there he was, and that made me feel a lot better, and we crawled
-around the edge of the raft, because we wanted to get to the lower side.
-
-Swatty said maybe we could push a log under the outside chain of logs
-and paddle to shore on it, but I wasn't going to do it. Only I wanted
-to see him do it if he did it. So we got to the lower edge of the raft,
-where it stuck out below the Tow Head, and just then along came the
-ferryboat. She was back-paddling and going as slow as she could, and she
-looked like an excursion with all the porch lamps and the flambeaux.
-So me and Swatty hollered, but I guess they saw us before we hollered.
-Everybody came over on our side and that tipped the ferry over a little,
-and a lot of the men threw ropes at us and held out their pike poles,
-and me and Swatty grabbed them and they yanked us aboard. So then she
-whistled five times and waited and whistled five times again, and so on,
-because that was the signal they was to make if they found our bodies,
-and they had found them, but they were alive yet. So then Herb made the
-captain whistle long and steady without stopping, so maybe they'd know
-we were alive yet. But nobody knew it, because nobody thought we would
-be.
-
-Well, the old ferry let out so much steam whistling she couldn't go
-up-stream. I guess she couldn't anyway. So they ran her into the shore
-just where she was and tied her to a big tree, and when we got to the
-road there was Mother and Father and Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz in a livery
-rig, because they had followed the boat all the way down. And Fan was
-in the rig, too. So they all pawed me and Swatty over and saw how bad we
-was scratched and all, and said we was suffering from exhaustion, but we
-wasn't. We was only played out.
-
-So then Herbert said, "All right!" and started to go away, and Fan said,
-"Herbert!"
-
-"What is it?" he said.
-
-"I want you to ride up-town with us," she said.
-
-"No," he said, "I'll go back and help Captain Hewitt get the boat in
-shape. I guess I've done enough to show you I 've some gump."
-
-"But I _want_ you to come," Fan says. "I want to talk to you."
-
-So he came. Him and Fan sat on the front seat and drove and talked, and
-I guess their talk was all right, because they fixed everything up. And
-that was where Miss Murphy got left. Just because she wanted to lick
-Swatty she lost her beau. That's why I say I guess if teachers always
-knew how their lickings were going to turn out they wouldn't lick us
-fellows so much. Not when the fellow is the brother of their beau,
-anyway.
-
-
-
-
-II. MAMIE'S FATHER
-
-I guess this is a good time to tell about Mamie Little, because now you
-know who me and Swatty and Bony are. Mamie Little was my girl, only she
-didn't know it. Nobody knew it but me. It was a secret I had. That's
-the way a fellow has a girl at first: she's a secret and she don't know
-she's his girl. Sometimes she don't never get to know it and the fellow
-has to get another girl. But while he "has" her the fellow knows it, and
-it makes him feel bashful and uncomfortable and frightened when she is
-near by and it is pretty bully.
-
-The reason I picked out Mamie Little for my girl was because she had
-the nicest eyes and nicest hair of any girl I ever saw and the way she
-swished her dress when she walked. She lived across the street from my
-house and mostly played with my sister Lucy. So when I played with
-Lucy I could play with Mamie Little, too, and nobody would think it was
-because she was my girl. They would think I was just playing with my
-sister.
-
-Mamie Little had been my girl a good while like that, with nobody
-knowing it but me, and I guessed that pretty soon it would be time for
-me to fight Swatty or somebody about her and have her for my real girl,
-if she didn't mind; but just then Toady Williams came to town and he
-picked out Mamie Little to be his girl and didn't care who knew it. And
-Mamie Little didn't care who knew it.
-
-Toady was a new kid in town, because his father had come to Riverbank
-to start a store. We never said Toady could be one of our crowd and we
-never wanted him to be, but he just joined on because he felt like it.
-That's the kind of boy he was. He thought anybody would be tickled to
-death to have him be around with them. He wasn't a fat boy, but he was
-a plump one, and his breeches always fit him so close they were like
-the skin on a horse; when he wrinkled they wrinkled. He wore shoes in
-summer. He looked all the time like company come to visit, and I guess
-that was one reason we didn't care for him much.
-
-The reason we called him Toady was because of his eyes. They popped out
-like a frog's eyes, sort of like brown marbles, and the more he talked
-the more they popped out. When he talked he couldn't do anything else
-but talk. Swatty could lie on his stomach and chew an apple and play
-mumblety-peg and kick a hole in the sod with one toe and talk, all at
-one time, but Toady couldn't. He had to sit up straight and pop his eyes
-out. When he got started talking you could cut in and say, "Was your
-grandmother a monkey?" and he'd say, "Yes," as if he hadn't heard,
-and go right on talking. He wouldn't fight, like me and Swatty, and
-sometimes Bony, would. If you thought it was time to have a fight with
-him and pitched into him he would bend down and turn his back and let
-you mailer him until you got through. But, mostly, he would talk somehow
-so you wouldn't want to fight him. That's no way for a boy to talk. It's
-the way girls talk. Or preachers.
-
-Toady didn't get Mamie Little for his girl the right way. He never said
-she _wasn't_ his girl, he just said she _was_. The right way is that
-when the other fellows find out he has a girl they holler at him: "Mamie
-Little is Georgie's girl! Mamie Little is Georgie's girl!" And he has
-to get mad and fight them about it to prove it's a lie, but after he has
-fought enough to prove she isn't his girl, why, then she is his girl
-and he can have her for his girl and nobody hollers it at him. So
-then she is the one he chooses to kiss when they play "Post-Office" or
-"Copenhagen" at parties, and if he's got anything to give her he gives
-it to her, like snail shells or a better slate pencil than she has, and
-such things. So it's pretty nice, and you feel pretty good about it and
-are glad she's your girl.
-
-Well, a short while before Toady Williams came to our town they had an
-election to see whether the state was to be prohibition or not, and all
-the school children whose fathers were prohibition paraded; so Mamie
-Little paraded because her father had the prohibition newspaper in
-Riverbank, and I paraded because Mamie did and my father didn't care
-whether there was prohibition or not. Swatty didn't parade because his
-father was a German tailor, and when he felt like a glass of beer he
-wanted to have it, and every fall Swatty's mother made grape wine out of
-wild grapes that me and Swatty got from the vines in the bottom across
-the Mississippi. When they had the election, prohibition was elected all
-over the state, but not in Riverbank; but we had to have it in Riverbank
-because the state elected it.
-
-Of course I was prohibition, because I had paraded and because Mamie
-Little was, but Swatty was antiprohibition. I didn't say a thing to make
-Swatty mad; all I said was: "Huh! You thought you was so smart, didn't
-you? You thought prohibition was going to get licked, but it was you
-got licked. Next time you won't be so smart. I guess you and your father
-feel pretty sick about it."
-
-"Don't you say anything about my father!" Swatty said.
-
-"I'll say he was licked, because he was licked," I said.
-
-So Swatty pulled off his coat and I pulled off mine, and we had a good
-fight. He licked me because he always did; and when he was sitting on my
-ribs and had his knees on my arms so I couldn't do anything, he asked me
-if I had had enough, and I said I had. Because I had had.
-
-"I guess I showed you how much the prohibitions can lick the
-anti-prohibitions!" he said.
-
-"Let me up," I said.
-
-"Are you prohibition?" he asked.
-
-I said, "Yes, I am."
-
-"All right!" he said, and he put his hand on my nose and pushed. He
-pushed my nose right into my face. I never had anything hurt like that
-did. I yelled, it hurt so much. I told him to stop.
-
-"All right," he said, "if I stop what are you?"
-
-I knew what he meant. He had already got me from being a Republican
-to being a Democrat that way once before. I wasn't thinking of Mamie
-Little; I was thinking of my nose. So I said:
-
-"I'm an anti-prohibition. Now let me up. You 've busted my nose and some
-of my ribs, and I want to put some plantain on my eye before it swells
-up."
-
-We felt of my ribs and couldn't find that any seemed busted, and my nose
-stopped hurting and came back into shape, so me and Swatty were
-better friends than we had ever been, because we were now both
-anti-prohibitions. We went around and made a lot of prohibitions into
-anti-prohibitions because Swatty showed me how to push a nose the way he
-pushed mine. But it didn't do much good, I guess. The election was over
-and, anyway, there were always more anti-prohibitions in Riverbank than
-there were prohibitions.
-
-It was almost right away after that that me and Swatty and Bony met
-Mamie Little and Lucy one Saturday afternoon. Lucy is my sister, and
-they were going down-town. Me and Swatty and Bony were sitting on the
-curb telling whoppers; or I guess Swatty and Bony were, I was just
-telling some things that had happened to me sometime that I'd forgot
-until I happened to think them up just then.
-
-Swatty was telling how he went up to Derlingport and his uncle
-introduced him to the man that had the government job of making up new
-swear words, when Mamie and Lucy came along. I said:
-
-"Where are you going?"
-
-"Down-town," Lucy said.
-
-"Did Mother give you a nickel?" I asked, and I was sort of mad, because
-Mother owed me a nickel and hadn't paid me, because she said she didn't
-have one, and if she gave one to Lucy, why, all right for Mother!
-
-"No, she didn't give me a nickel, Mr. Smarty!" Lucy said. "If you want
-to know so much, we're going down to Mr. Schwartz's shop to see if he'll
-let Mamie have a father."
-
-I guess that would sound pretty funny if you didn't know what she meant.
-It was paper dolls.
-
-Girls always play paper dolls, I guess; so Mamie and Lucy and all the
-girls played them; they got them out of the colored fashion plates in
-the magazines--brides and mothers and sons and daughters.
-
-The trouble was that a good family has to have anyway one father in it,
-and the magazines didn't have colored fashion plates of fathers. They
-didn't have any fathers at all.
-
-Some of the girls drew fathers on paper and painted them, but they
-looked pretty sick. I guess all the girls were jealous of Lucy because
-she was kind of Swatty's girl, and Swatty sort of borrowed an old
-colored tailor fashion plate out of his father's store and gave it to
-Lucy. So Lucy had the only real fathers that any of the girls had. She
-gave Mamie a couple of fathers out of the fashion plate, but they were
-the ones that had been standing partly behind other fathers and had
-mostly only one leg, or pieces cut out of their sides or something. They
-didn't make Mamie real happy, I guess, so she thought she'd try to
-get some good fathers. They were going down to ask Mr. Schwartz for a
-fashion plate.
-
-Swatty was frightened right away, because he hadn't asked his father if
-he could have the old fashion plate but had just sort of borrowed it. So
-he said:
-
-"What are you going to ask my father?"
-
-"I'm going to tell him he gave you one for me," Lucy said, "and I'm
-going to ask him if he'll give me one for Mamie."
-
-So then Swatty was scared.
-
-"No, don't do it!" he said.
-
-"I will, too, do it!" Lucy answered back. "I guess I know your father,
-and I guess my father buys clothes of him, and I guess we take milk of
-your mother, and I guess I will, too, ask him if I want to!"
-
-Well, Swatty couldn't answer back because he had Lucy for his secret
-girl like I had Mamie Little.
-
-So I got up and stood in front of Lucy and pushed her a little, because
-she wasn't my girl but only my sister, and I said:
-
-"You will not do it. You go home!"
-
-"You stop pushing me! I won't go home."
-
-"Yes, you will, when I say so!" I said.
-
-I was going to tell her that as soon as there were any more old fashion
-plates at Swatty's father's, Swatty would swi--would get one for Mamie,
-but Lucy got mad because I just took hold of her arm too hard between my
-thumb and finger. She said I pinched her, but I did not; I just sort of
-took hold of her that way. She ran back a way and stuck out her tongue
-at me.
-
-"Now, just for that, Mr. Smarty," she yelled, "I'm going to tell Mamie
-on you!"
-
-"You just dare!" I started for her, but she skipped off.
-
-"Mamie," she shouted, "you'll be mad when I tell you! Georgie Porgie
-is an anti-prohibition!" Mamie just stood and looked at me, because I'd
-said I'd always be a prohibition.
-
-"Are you?" she asked.
-
-If Swatty hadn't been right there I would have changed back to a
-prohibition again and it would have been all right, but he was there and
-I wasn't going to have him think I would change just on account of a
-girl. So I said:
-
-"Uh, huh!"
-
-"All right for you, Mr. Georgie! You needn't ever speak to me again as
-long as you live!" she said.
-
-I felt pretty cheap. I tried to say something, and I couldn't think of
-anything to say, so I made a face at her and she made one at me, and
-then we were mad at each other and she went away. She went toward
-down-town, and Lucy skipped across the street and ran and went with her.
-And that was one reason Mamie was glad that Toady Williams had her for
-his girl when he came to town. She guessed I did not like it. And I
-didn't.
-
-Mr. Schwartz said Mamie could have the fashion plate as soon as he was
-through with it, which would be at the end of the season when he got a
-new one. Lucy let me know that, all right! I guess it was on account
-of Lucy he promised to let Mamie have the fashion plate, because he was
-awful fond of Lucy.
-
-Anyway, Mamie was mighty pleased to know she was going to have a good
-father.
-
-When she played paper dolls with Lucy I used to sort of go over where
-they were and maybe stand there to see if Mamie was mad at me still.
-About all she said was how glad she'd be when she had a good father. I
-guess I heard her say it a hundred times, but she never let on she knew
-I was there at all. Sometimes I'd sort of drop an apple or something
-so it would fall where she could reach it, but she never paid any
-attention. The most she would do would be to pick up a one-legged father
-and say:
-
-"'Where are you going, Mr. Reginald de Vere?' 'I'm going down-town to
-vote a while if you do not need me to take care of the baby.' 'Not at
-all, but I do hope you will show folks you are a prohibition.
-If I ever heard you were an anti-prohibition I would cut you up into
-mincemeat.'"
-
-So then I most generally went away.
-
-I got kind of sick of girls. I made up my mind they were no good anyway,
-and that I'd never have another one if I lived to be a million years
-old, and when I wrote notes to Mamie in school it wasn't any use
-because she always tore them up without reading them. It made me feel
-awful to have her so mean. Because she wasn't mean to Toady.
-
-Well, it came to examination time and we began to be examined. Swatty
-and Bony and I didn't have to be examined in arithmetic until Thursday
-afternoon and neither did Lucy or Mamie, so Swatty and Bony and I
-thought we might as well go fishing that morning. We got our poles and
-some bait and started, and we went down Third Street and when we came to
-the railway track we cut across through Burman's lumber yard toward the
-river because that was the quickest way.
-
-Burman's sawmill was the biggest one in Riverbank then. I guess you know
-how big those sawmills were. Great big red buildings with gravel roofs
-where they sawed the logs that came down the river in rafts, and where
-they made shingles, and the row of sheds where they dried the lumber
-with steam, and another big one where the planers were. There were
-hundreds and hundreds of piles of lumber, each one as tall as a house,
-and all the ground was made of sawdust and rattlings, because it was
-filled ground.
-
-There were railway sidings here, and there were flat cars and box cars
-being loaded.
-
-Burman's sawmill and lumber yards were just under the bluff. Once there
-had been a brickyard there, and the bluff was cut down steep where
-they had dug clay. Across the street there was still a brickyard, with
-hundreds and hundreds of cords of wood, ready to be used to burn brick,
-and with the kilns loosely roofed over. Back toward the town was a sash
-and door factory, a pretty big building, and then some houses, and
-then the stores began. About the fifth store on one side was Swatty's
-father's tailor shop. It was a building all by itself, and it was one
-story high and frame, and it had a false front above the first story,
-with Swatty's father's name on it, and there was one window on the
-street.
-
-Well, Swatty and Bony and me went through the lumber yard to the place
-where Burman's oil shed was.
-
-The oil shed was right up against the bluff, almost at the railway,
-and it was up on stakes, so that it was safer. It was about as big as a
-kitchen, and was painted red and the floor and part of the and part of
-the stakes were soaked with oil, and the grass underneath was withered
-and oily because the oil had dripped and killed it.
-
-Just as we got there we saw Slim Finnegan, who was in our class at
-school but ever so much older than we were, and he was under the oil
-shed smoking a corncob pipe. His coat was on the grass beside him, and
-just as we got there he jumped up and began slamming at the grass with
-his coat, for the grass was afire. Before we could guess what happened,
-the flames seemed to run up the stakes like live animals, and all at
-once the whole bottom of the floor of the oil shed was afire.
-
-Slim Finnegan gave one look at it, and tucked his coat under his arm and
-ran. There were piles and piles of lumber right there and he jumped in
-among them, and I guess he hid. We didn't see him any more.
-
-Swatty ran for the sawmill. He shouted to the first man he saw before he
-was halfway to the sawmill, and the man hollered "Fire!" and ran for a
-hose wagon they had under a shed and began jerking it out, and Swatty
-ran on, shouting "Fire!"
-
-It wasn't a second before all the men began piling out of the sawmill
-and came running from the lumber yards, and the mill whistle began
-blowing as hard as it could. It almost made you deaf when you were that
-close. Right away the whole place seemed to fill up with men, and they
-all had axes or hooks or whatever they ought to have had.
-
-The mill whistle kept blowing without stopping, and in a minute the
-whistle on the sash and door factory joined in, and then the regular
-fire whistle on the waterworks started up. The oil house was just one
-big red flame that went up in the air and turned into the blackest kind
-of smoke. We saw the men with the mill's hose trying to throw water on
-the oil house, and every one was shouting at the tops of their voices.
-We saw men on top of the nearest lumber piles, but almost as soon as we
-saw them we saw them dodge away and climb down as quick as they could,
-and the next minute those lumber piles were afire on one side. They were
-red flames, and they climbed right up the sides of the piles and waved
-at the top.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing down the railway track as the fire
-got too hot for us. There were hundreds of people, but there were more
-than that in other parts of the neighborhood. Almost everybody in town
-came to the fire, because by this time dozens of lumber piles were
-afire, and the sawmill had set fire to the dry-sheds and the planer. You
-couldn't see the bluff at all, because there was just one big wall of
-flame in front of it. Whole boards went sailing right up into the air,
-burning as they went, and the blue smoke that blew over the town was
-full of pine cinders and burning pieces of wood. There never was such a
-fire in Riverbank. The ground seemed to burn, too, and it did, because it
-was sawdust and rattlings.
-
-The brickyard burned--everything that could burn--and the bluff of yellow
-clay, there and beside the sawmill, was burned red, like brick--and the
-flat cars and the box cars all burned. It was an awful fire! Wet lumber
-in the newest piles burned as if it was dry. The railway bridge and two
-other bridges burned. At noon it was like evening, because the smoke hid
-the sun.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony kept backing away as the fire came toward us.
-Sometimes we would turn, and run. We backed away as far as ten city
-blocks would be, I guess, before we were where we did not have to back
-away any more. We forgot all about school, and about fishing, and about
-everything. It was the kind of fire where nobody thinks of going home
-until it is all over.
-
-It was about two o'clock when the people in front and the firemen in
-front of them gave a sort of roar, as if they were a lot of animals, and
-everybody crowded back. The firemen on top of the sash and door factory
-ran from one edge of the roof to the other, looking down. Two of them
-jumped off. They were killed, but the others got down the ladders,
-and the next minute the factory and its oil house were all afire at
-once--just sort of spouted fire from all the windows as if the fire had
-been all fixed to break out that way.
-
-Before you could turn around and then look back, the sash and door
-factory was one big, hot flame, and then the houses began to go. First
-one and then another caught fire.
-
-We got crowded back until we were in the street right opposite to
-Swatty's father's tailor shop, and Swatty's father was on the front step
-of it shaking his hands in the air and shouting like a crazy man, but
-nobody paid any attention to him. He was a little man and he had gray
-hair, but he was mostly bald. He didn't have a hat on and he looked
-pretty crazy standing there and shouting.
-
-Well, we didn't know until afterward what he was shouting about, but I
-know now, so I might as well tell it. There was a cellar under his shop
-and it was full of barrels of whiskey. When prohibition was elected the
-saloons thought they would have to stop for a while and that then they
-could go ahead again, so they hunted for some place to hide the whiskey
-they owned, where it would be safe for a while, and Mr. Schwartz's
-cellar was one of the places they hid it in. What Swatty's father was
-trying to shout was that if his shop caught fire all the whiskey in the
-cellar might explode and the people standing around might be killed and
-the whole town burn up. I don't wonder he was sort of crazy about it. I
-guess Swatty felt sort of ashamed that his father was acting so crazy.
-
-So then the house next to Swatty's father's shop caught fire, and the
-next minute the side of Swatty's father's shop began to smoke.
-
-The policemen were sort of crowding us back all the time, but we would
-n't go back much, and all at once Mamie Little started out of the crowd
-and began to run toward Swatty's father's shop. But when she was halfway
-there the fire marshal just caught her by the arm and gave her a sort of
-twist and slung her back, and then the policeman nearest us caught her
-and jammed her back against me and Swatty. She was crying all the time;
-she kept moaning, "My father! My father!"
-
-So just then Swatty's father ran out and grabbed the fire marshal by the
-arm and talked to him in German, because they were both German, and the
-fire marshal ran toward his firemen and shouted through his trumpet, and
-all the firemen up the street came running back, dragging all their hose
-and all shouting.
-
-It was all wild and sort of crazy, and suddenly the fire marshal ran
-back to where the firemen were tugging at the heavy hose and shouting,
-and four firemen who were holding on to a nozzle pointed the stream into
-the air. It was worse than any rain you ever saw. It was just "whoosh!"
-and we were all soaked. So all the crowd hollered and screamed, and we
-all turned and ran, and all I knew was that I had hold of Mamie Little's
-hand and was helping her run. I was awful sorry for her because she was
-crying and her father was going to burn.
-
-So Swatty said: "What's she crying for? Why don't she shut up?"
-
-He meant Mamie Little. So I said:
-
-"She can cry if she wants to! I'd like to see you try to stop her! She's
-crying because your father gave her his fashion plate and it's going to
-be burned up, and if you say much I'll lick you!"
-
-So Swatty said: "If that's all she's crying for, come on. We'll get her
-old fashion plate for her." So I said to Mamie Little: "Stop being a
-baby and shut up, and we'll get your old fashion plate for you."
-
-Swatty just cut in through the crowd, and me and Bony followed after
-him. He went up the side street, and we climbed over the fence into
-the yard of the corner house and cut across that yard and over another
-fence. That way we got to the back of Swatty's father's shop without any
-one stopping us. Bony kind of kept behind us.
-
-It was mighty hot, because the house next door was all afire, but the
-firemen were keeping all their hose on the side of Swatty's father's
-shop, trying to keep it from burning. We crouched down and kept our
-backs to the fire so the heat wouldn't shrivel us, and we got to
-the back door and it wasn't locked. We went in. It was hot--like an
-oven--inside, and the noise of all the water on the side of the house
-was like thunder, only louder. The inside of the shop was like under
-a waterfall. You wouldn't think anything so wet could burn, but it did.
-Before we were halfway to the front window the fire began to eat into
-the shop along the floor. The water on that side just turned to steam
-and dried as fast as it ran down.
-
-Bony began to cry, but we hadn't any time to stop. Swatty took him _by_
-the hand and jerked him along, and we got to the window and I grabbed
-the fashion plate. Then we couldn't go back because the shop was mostly
-afire and we would have been burned up. So then Bony got real scared and
-ran to the front door and threw it open, and a stream from a hose
-caught him and sent him head over heels back into the shop where it was
-burning; he was knocked unconscious because his head hit a table leg.
-
-So I didn't know what to do. I guess I began to cry. I crouched down
-in the window because I couldn't get out at the door on account of the
-stream of water that was coming in there a hundred miles a minute, and
-I couldn't go back because the back of the shop was all afire now. But
-Swatty crawled on his hands and knees under the table where Bony was,
-where the fire was beginning to burn harder, and he grabbed Bony and
-yanked him along the floor back to the window. I guess I helped him jerk
-Bony onto the window shelf, but just then another stream of water busted
-the window in. The glass fell all around us and one piece cut Swatty on
-the hand, but he only said, "Jump! Jump!"
-
-Maybe we would have jumped, but we didn't. The firemen had got to the
-back of the building and had turned the hose in at the back window, and
-just when Swatty said, "Jump!" the stream of water hit us like a board.
-It took us as if we were pieces of paper and slammed us out of the
-broken window and halfway across the street, and threw us head over
-heels in the mud, and the fashion plate, with Mamie Little's father,
-came flying with us.
-
-[Illustration: 66]
-
-So I crawled over to where the fashion plate was and took hold of it and
-began to drag it to where Mamie Little was. A policeman came and took me
-by the shoulder and lifted me up, but I couldn't stand, and that was the
-first I knew my ankle was sprained. But Swatty got up himself and sassed
-the policeman that came to get him. He told him he had a right to go
-into his father's own shop if he wanted to, and that if the policeman
-said much more he would go back again.
-
-I guess the whiskey exploded all right. Three more houses burned before
-they stopped the fire, but we didn't see that because Bony ran all the
-way home, and somebody carried me to a wagon, and drove home with me,
-and Swatty's father got him and took him up the main street and waled
-him on the hotel corner with a half-burned shingle that had blown from
-the lumber fire.
-
-The next day my ankle hurt pretty bad and I stayed in bed with linament
-on it and after school Lucy came up to see me. "Come on up in my room
-and play," I told her.
-
-"No," she said, "I don't want to. I want to go down and play with Mamie
-Little; we're playing paper dolls. We're having lots of fun."
-
-"Ho!" I said. "Paper dolls! They're no fun."
-
-"They are, too," Lucy said. "And we've got to cut out Mamie's fathers.
-She's got a whole fashion plate full."
-
-"Where'd she get them?" I asked, because I guessed right away what
-fashion plate it was.
-
-"Why, Toady Williams gave them to her," Lucy said. "He got them out of
-the fire or somewhere and gave them to her. He's helping us cut them
-out."
-
-Gee! I felt sore!
-
-
-
-
-III. THE "DIVORCE"
-
-After I got out of bed and went back to school I fought Toady Williams
-a couple of times, but it wasn't much good because he wouldn't fight
-back. All the good it did was to make Mamie Little tell Lucy I was a
-mean, bad boy and that she would never speak to me again as long as she
-lived. Once I almost told her that it was me that got the father fashion
-plate out of the fire and that Toady Williams didn't do anything but
-pick it up out of the mud after I had got it for her, but I didn't tell
-her because then she would have thought I was sweet on her. That _would_
-have made me feel cheap.
-
-It made me feel pretty mean, just the same, to see the way Toady
-Williams was playing with her all the time, when I had picked her out to
-be my secret girl. He gave her pencils and apples and everything and
-I guess she liked it. I wished I was grown up, so I could ride up on a
-bucking bronco and sling a lasso over Toady's head and jerk him into
-the dust. Then Mamie Little would say, "Hello, Georgie! Can I get up
-and ride behind you over the wild plains, because I don't want to have
-anything more to do with a 'fraidy-cat like Toady."
-
-But it didn't seem as if anything like that was going to happen. Not for
-years, anyway.
-
-One day Swatty came over to my yard and he said, "Say!" so I said, "Say
-what?" and he said, "Say, you know Herb's tricycle?" and I said I did.
-Herb was Swatty's brother that wanted to marry my sister Fan and he
-had got the tricycle a couple of years ago, when all the bicycles were
-high-wheel bicycles. He had got it for him and Fan to ride on, and
-it was a two-seat one--side-by-side seats--and after a few times Fan
-wouldn't ride on it because it made her as conspicuous as a pig on a
-flagpole. So Herb rode on it alone some, and with some other fellow
-some, but mostly he kept it chained up in Swatty's barn and said he
-would scalp Swatty and skin him alive if Swatty ever touched it.
-
-So this day Swatty came over and he said, "What do you think!" because
-Herb said when he was married to Fan, Swatty could have the tricycle.
-You bet Swatty was tickled. So I asked him who would ride on it with
-him.
-
-"Well--you will," he said. "And Bony. That's when I ain't taking
-somebody else."
-
-He didn't say who else, but I knew, because I knew Swatty was having my
-sister Lucy for his secret girl.
-
-"And part of the time," I said, "I can have it alone, can't I, Swatty?"
-
-"It's my tricycle--" he started to say.
-
-"It ain't yet," I told him, "and I guess if I go to work good and plenty
-it never will be, because if I want to I can think up how to make Fan
-mad at Herb again and then you wouldn't get it. And, anyway, if Lucy went
-to ride on it she might fall off and get hurt, so I guess I'd tell my
-mother not to let Lucy ride on it. Unless I could take it sometimes and
-find out that it was safe."
-
-Because I guessed that if Mamie Little had a chance to ride on that
-tricycle with me she'd be pretty sick of that fat, old Toady Williams
-mighty quick. So me and Swatty fixed it up that way, that I was to have
-the tricycle part of the time and he was to have it part of the time.
-The only thing was to get Herb and Fan married off as soon as we could,
-and to look out that nothing turned up to scare them away from each
-other again like that Miss Murphy fuss did. It wasn't going to take
-much to scare Herb away. I knew that.
-
-Well, I guess grown folks don't care whether they have a divorce or not,
-because they are always having them and so maybe they get used to having
-them and don't think much about it and are not ashamed to have them,
-but I guess a kid is always kind of ashamed when his folks get them. We
-never had one in our family but we had babies and I guess a kid feels
-about the same way when there is a divorce in his family as he does
-when there is a baby. It makes him feel pretty sick and ashamed and
-miserable. It ain't his fault but he feels like it was. He goes out the
-back gate and sneaks to school through the alley and when a kid sees him
-the kid says: "Ho! you had a baby at your house," and the kid that had
-the baby come to his house wishes he could sneak into a crack in the
-sidewalk or die or something.
-
-I guess that's the way it is when you have a divorce at your house. It
-ain't your fault but you feel like it was and you don't have any of the
-fun of fighting and getting the divorce, like your folks do; you just
-have the feel-miserable part.
-
-So one day about when the river began to fall again, only it was still
-mighty high, me and Swatty and Bony went up to Bony's room in Bony's
-house. It was muddy weather, in June, and I guess we had been wading
-in the mud or something so we knew Bony's mother wouldn't let us go
-upstairs to his room unless we washed our feet first, unless we sneaked
-it. So we sneaked it.
-
-The reason we went up was so Bony could prove it that the Victor bicycle
-his father might maybe buy for him weighed only forty-five pounds. He
-had a catalogue to prove it with but it was up in his room, so we went
-up to get it. It proved it, all right. Swatty said that was pretty light
-for a bicycle to weigh, and I said it, too. So then we said a lot of
-more things about a lot of other things but mostly we talked about the
-bicycle, because Bony was going to let me and Swatty learn to ride on it
-if he got it. Swatty bet he could get right on it and ride right off
-as slick as a whistle because he had an uncle in Derlingport that had
-a dozen bicycles. So then Bony said he'd like to know why, if Swatty's
-uncle had that many, he didn't send Swatty one, and Swatty said maybe he
-would. We just kind of talked and let the mud dry on our feet and crack
-off onto the floor.
-
-Well, in the floor in one place there was a hole and Bony showed us
-how he could look through it down into the dining-room and see what
-his mother was putting on the table for dinner whenever she was putting
-anything on. The hole was about as big around as a stovepipe and it had
-a tin business in it to keep the floor from catching afire because that
-was where the stovepipe from the dining-room stove came up through the
-floor to go into a drum to help heat Bony's room when it was winter. So
-we all looked down into Bony's stovepipe hole to see if it was like he
-said. And it was.
-
-Just then Bony's father came into the diningroom. He had his hat on
-but it wasn't time for dinner or anything and he didn't come into the
-dining-room as if he was coming for dinner. He came in fast and threw
-his hat on the floor and pounded on the table twice with his fist. The
-dishes jumped and a milk pitcher fell over on its side and spilled the
-milk.
-
-"Mary! Mary!" he shouted.
-
-So Bony's mother came in from the kitchen. "Why, Henry!" she said;
-"what's the matter?"
-
-"Matter? Matter?" he shouted. "I'll tell you what's the matter! I'll
-show you what's the matter! Look at this! Look at this, will you!"
-
-Me and Swatty looked but Bony kind of drew back from the hole and his
-mother didn't look. I guess she didn't have to. I guess she knew what it
-was without looking. It was a bill, all right. Me and Swatty could see
-that but we didn't know what it was for--whether it was for a hat or a
-dress or what. So Bony's father threw the bill on the table and stood
-with one fist on the edge of the table and the other fist opening and
-shutting. Bony's mother had been paring potatoes or something, I guess.
-She wiped her hands on her apron but she didn't pick up the bill.
-
-"Well?" she said.
-
-"Of all the useless, idiotic, ill-timed, outrageous, unheard-of
-extravagance ever incurred by any brainless, gad-about, senseless, vain
-peacock of a woman--" Bony's father said.
-
-"Henry! Stop right there!" Bony's mother said. "This time I will
-not listen to your abuse. Year after year I have put up with this
-browbeating. I go in rags, and if I so much as buy--"
-
-"Rags!" Bony's father shouted. "Rags! You in rags? You dare taunt
-me with that, when you crowd enough on your back to support a dozen
-families? Rags? When from year's end to year's end I do nothing but
-struggle to pay your eternal bills!" Well, maybe I haven't got what
-Bony's father and mother said just the way they said it, but it was like
-that. So they had a good start and they went right on and pretty
-soon Bony's father was walking up and down the room, talking loud
-and pounding the table every time he passed it, and Bony's mother was
-sitting with a corner of her apron in each hand and the hands pressed to
-her cheeks. Her eyes were big and scary. So then Bony's father stopped
-in front of her and said a lot and she didn't talk back. So that made
-him mad and he took the tablecloth and jerked it and all the dishes fell
-on the floor and broke.
-
-Bony just went to the bed and lay on his face and squeezed his hands
-into his ears. I guess he felt pretty mean. He was crying, but we didn't
-know that then. We found it out afterward.
-
-So then, when all the dishes broke, Bony's mother sort of yelled and
-jumped up. Swatty said:
-
-"Garsh! What's she going to do?"
-
-But she didn't do anything like we thought she was going to. She bent
-down and picked up a dish that wasn't all smashed to pieces and put
-it on the table as easy as could be and then she untied her apron and
-folded it up and laid it over the back of a chair as neat as a pin. She
-looked at herself in the mirror in the sideboard and then walked around
-Bony's father and went toward the door into the hall.
-
-"Where are you going?" Bony's father asked.
-
-"Going?" she said, or something like that. "I'm going to see if I can't
-put a stop to this sort of thing. I have had enough years of it. I'm
-going to see Mr. Rascop."
-
-Well, we knew who he was; he was a lawyer.
-
-"Very well," said Bony's father, "go! I assure you you cannot get a
-divorce too quickly to suit me!"
-
-I guess that when the loud noise stopped Bony thought the fight was over
-and listened again. Anyway he was listening now and he heard what they
-said.
-
-"I thought that," said Bony's mother. "This is not the first time, by
-many, that I have thought it. You will be glad to be rid of me and I
-of you. My mother will be glad enough to have me with her. I shall, of
-course, take the boy."
-
-"As you like!" said Bony's father.
-
-"The boy" was Bony, so he began to blubber worse than ever. He was
-pretty much ashamed and when his folks began to talk quiet-like, without
-shouting, me and Swatty began to be ashamed, too. We felt the way you
-feel when there's just been a baby at your house--as if we hadn't ought
-to be there. So Swatty picked up his hat.
-
-"Come on!" he said. "Let's go. It ain't no fun up here in Bony's room."
-
-"Wait!" Bony whispered, like he was scared to be left there alone, so we
-waited. He came along with us.
-
-We tiptoed downstairs and outdoors and I tell you it was good to get
-outside where there wasn't any divorce but just good spring mud and
-things. So Swatty whistled at a kid down the street but it was a kid
-Swatty had said he would lick if he caught him, so the kid ran.
-
-Well, we sat down on the grass under the tree and me and Swatty talked
-pretty loud and fighty because Bony wasn't saying anything at all and
-was looking so earnest it made us feel sort of ashamed. He was thinking
-of the divorce. So me and Swatty talked fighty to each other to try and
-make Bony forget.
-
-But Bony didn't laugh. He didn't even smile. So Swatty took some mud and
-stuck it on his nose and pretended it was medicine or something; to make
-Bony laugh. But Bony didn't laugh. I guess he felt pretty bad. Maybe a
-kid always feels that way when his folks are going to get divorced. So
-then Swatty said:
-
-"Hey, George! this is the way I'll ride on Bony's bicycle when he gets
-it!"
-
-So he pretended he was on a bicycle and he pretended to fall off all
-sorts of ways and to run into a tree and everything. Then I thought of
-something. I said:
-
-"Say! if they get a divorce and Bony goes away we can't learn bicycle
-riding on his bicycle!"
-
-We hadn't thought of that before and right away we forgot about whether
-Bony was feeling sick or not. We hadn't stopped to think that a divorce
-Bony's folks were getting would make a big difference like that to me
-and Swatty. It kind of brought us right into the divorce ourselves.
-Swatty looked frightened.
-
-"Garsh! that's so!" he said. "We can't learn to ride on a bicycle that's
-in another town."
-
-"And, say!" I said, frightened, "if Herb hears about it, and how married
-folks fight and get divorces over hat-bills and things he's going to be
-scared to marry Fan, because hat-bills are the things father scolds Fan
-most about. He'll ask Fan if she has hat-bills--"
-
-"Garsh!" said Swatty again, "we've got to stop the divorce," only he
-said "diworce," because that was how he talked.
-
-I thought so, too. If Bony's folks got one and Herb heard about it and
-got scared of marrying Fan, then Swatty wouldn't have the tricycle and I
-couldn't take Mamie Little riding on it and make fat, old Toady Williams
-look sick. So I thought like Swatty did, but I said:
-
-"Well, how are you going to stop it?"
-
-"If Bony was to get the diphtheria, and get it bad, that would stop it,"
-he said.
-
-I saw that was so. If Bony got the diphtheria, and got it bad, they
-wouldn't let him travel on the train, and so his mother couldn't go to
-his grandmother's and that would stop it. So I said:
-
-"Yes, and while he was sick we could use his bicycle all the time. How's
-he going to get diphtheria?"
-
-"Why, as easy as pie," Swatty said. "They've got it down at Markses.
-All he's got to do is to go down there and sneak in and stand around in
-Billy Markses bedroom until he gets it. Diphtheria is one of the easiest
-things you can get. Anybody can get it!"
-
-It looked like a mighty good plan to me. Me and Swatty went on talking
-about it and the more we talked the better it was. We talked about how
-long it would be after Bony got exposed to it before he would really
-have it and Swatty said that wouldn't matter. All Bony would have to do
-would be to go right down to Markses and get exposed and then hurry home
-and tell his mother. The divorce would stop right away and wouldn't have
-to wait until he was sick in bed before it stopped. So then I said that,
-anyway, Bony's father would send for the bicycle right away, because
-fathers always hurry up to get things when their boys are good and sick.
-It was all bully and fine and me and Swatty felt pretty good about it,
-but Bony spoke up.
-
-"I ain't going to get diphtheria!" he said.
-
-Well, that's the way some fellows are! You go and work your brains all
-to pieces thinking up things to help them out of their troubles and then
-they say something like that. We saw it wasn't any use to coax him.
-If we wanted to stop the divorce we would have to do it another way. I
-said:
-
-"I know the preacher that Bony's mother goes to the church of."
-
-"Well, what's that got to do with it?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Well, couldn't we tell him about it and get him to stop the divorce?
-When Jim Carter wouldn't marry our cook my father told the Catholic
-priest and he made Jim Carter marry her as easy as pie."
-
-"That's no good," Swatty said. "That was marrying. That's what priests
-and preachers are for--marrying folks together--they ain't for diworcing
-them apart again. If it was somebody I wanted to have married together
-of course I'd have thought of a preacher right away. You don't think I'm
-so dumb as not to have thought of that, do you? But this ain't marrying
-them together, it's keeping them married together; it's keeping them
-from diworcing apart." Then, all at once he said, "Garsh!"
-
-"What are you garshing about?" I asked him.
-
-"Garsh!" he said again. "I guess I am dumb! I guess I ought to let a
-mule kick me! I ought to have thought of it right off!"
-
-"Thought of what, Swatty?"
-
-"Why, the judge! You, talking about preachers and priests and all them
-and not thinking of the judge! It's a judge that always diworces people
-apart, ain't it? Well, what we've got to do is see the judge and tell
-him not to diworce Bony's folks apart!"
-
-"Come on! We'll go see the judge and tell him not to diworce Bony's
-folks apart."
-
-Well, I guess we didn't think when we started how we would do it. We
-just started.
-
-When we got down to the court-house, where the judge stays, I didn't
-feel so much like doing it and Bony didn't feel like doing it at all. It
-was different when we got down there than it was when we were sitting
-on the grass under my apple tree. All along the front edge of the front
-porch of the court-house were big pillars and each pillar was as big
-around as twenty boys standing in a lump would be. So me and Bony we
-sort of peeked into the hall and went out on the porch again, but Swatty
-went right inside. So we sort of frowned at Swatty and shouted in a
-whisper: "Aw! come on, Swatty! Let's go home."
-
-But Swatty spoke right out, as if he wasn't afraid of the court-house at
-all.
-
-"Aw, come on!" he said. "What are you afraid of?"
-
-I wouldn't have talked out loud like that for anything. His voice came
-back in echoes: "Aw-waw-come-um-um-on-non-non!" Like that. Every word he
-said said itself over and over that way.
-
-But Swatty, when we didn't come, went down the hall and when he found an
-open door he went right in. He asked for the judge. We looked into the
-hall and we saw Swatty come out of the door he had gone in at and we saw
-him go up the wide stairs and push open the green door at the head
-of the stairs and go in. After a while he came out again and came
-downstairs and out on the porch.
-
-"Did you see him?" I asked.
-
-"No," he said. "I'd ought to have remembered that this was Saturday.
-Judges don't have court on Saturday; they go fishing."
-
-So then Bony began to cry. He leaned against one of the big pillars and
-began to snigger like a little kid that's lost, and then he turned his
-face to the pillar and I guess he bawled to himself. I guess he had sort
-of thought Swatty would have everything fixed so there wouldn't be any
-divorce when he came from the judge's room and it disappointed him. So
-Swatty said: "Aw! shut up your bellerin'! We ain't going to let your
-folks get diworced, are we? You make me sick, acting like we was. I
-guess me and George knows what we are going to do, don't we, George?" So
-I says, "Yes; what is it?"
-
-Well, Swatty knew just what we were going to do; and so did I, after he
-told me. We were going to go to the judge where he was fishing and tell
-him not to divorce Bony's folks. And that was all right because Bony's
-mother was afraid of the water and wouldn't ride in a rowboat and so
-even if she wanted to get divorced quick she couldn't be until the judge
-came back from fishing. So then I said:
-
-"Aw! there ain't no fishing when the water is so high in the river!"
-
-"Aw! who told you so much?" Swatty said. "You think you know all the
-kinds of fishing there is, don't you? Well, I guess you don't! I guess
-me and the judge knows more kinds of fishing than you do."
-
-So we walked down to the river and Swatty told us. It was buffalo
-fishing you do with a pitchfork. I guess you know what kind of a fish a
-buffalo is. At first nobody ate buffalo fish but niggers, and they ate
-dogfish, too, but pretty soon the fishmarket men got so they shipped
-buffalo fish to Chicago and everywhere just like they shipped catfish.
-But nobody in our town ate them but niggers, because they tasted of mud.
-Maybe the Chicago people liked to taste mud.
-
-Well, anyway, the buffalo fish eat grass or roots or something and in
-the spring, when the river is high and up over the bottoms, the buffalo
-fish swim up to wherever the edge of the river has gone in the grass and
-weeds and sometimes they swim in so close that their backs stick out
-of water and they sort of swim on their bellies in the mud--dozens and
-hundreds of them, big fat fellows. So then the farmer can't plough yet,
-because it is too muddy in the fields, and they get their farm wagons
-and some pitchforks and drive down to the river. Then they separate
-apart and wade out and come together again when' they are out about
-waist deep and they wade in toward shore and the buffalo fish are
-between them and the shore. Then the farmers go with a rush and the
-buffalo fish get scared. Some of them get so scared they try to swim
-right up on shore on their bellies, and some try to swim out into deep
-water, but whatever they try to do the farmers just pitchfork them up
-onto shore. Wagon loads of them! So, before the Chicago folks got to
-like buffalo fish, the farmers chopped the buffalo fish into bits and
-ploughed them into the ground to make things grow better, but now they
-mostly hauled them to town and sold them to the fishmarket men for one
-and one half cents a pound. So that was where the judge was. He was
-over to a farmer's named Shebberd, in Illinois, because he had never
-pitchforked buffalo fish before and he wanted to do it once and see what
-it was like.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony knew where Shebberd's was, because when you were
-over in Illinois you could get a drink of water there.
-
-I guess it was almost a mile across the river and then it was almost
-five miles back to Shebberd's bottom land cornfield. We got a skiff at
-the boathouse and me and Swatty and Bony rowed across the river. The
-water was mighty high and the current was everywhere and not just in one
-place, and it was strong. Bony sat in the stem and me and Swatty rowed
-and we had to row almost straight up-stream. It was hard work. My wrists
-swelled up and got hot and tight but we kept thinking about the divorce
-we didn't want Bony's folks to get and we kept on rowing. Even with the
-boat pointed almost straight up-stream we were about half a mile below
-where we started, when we reached the Illinois side and rowed in among
-the trees. It was easier there; not so much current.
-
-It was fine rowing through the trees, seeing everything, and nothing
-looking like it usually does. We came to the First Slough and it was
-just water--like a road of water between the trees--and we kept on
-rowing and came to the Second Slough and the Third Slough and they were
-like that, too, and then we came out of the trees and we were in a whale
-of a lot of water. Bony said, "Oh!" and Swatty looked over his shoulder
-and said, "Garsh!" and stopped rowing. It looked like miles and miles of
-water--water we had never seen before--and all at once you felt little
-and lost and sort of frightened.
-
-"Garsh!" Swatty said. "I was never here before."
-
-"Where is it?" I asked.
-
-Swatty looked all around.
-
-"I don't know," he said. "I never heard of a place like this."
-
-"Swatty!" I said.
-
-"What?"
-
-"Let's go home!"
-
-I guess I sort of whined it, and so Bony began to cry. Swatty stood up
-and let his oars rest and looked all around. He looked anxious and when
-Swatty looked anxious it was time to be frightened. Anyway, I thought
-so.
-
-When Swatty had looked all around and didn't know any more than he did
-before, he sat down and looked over the edge of the boat at the water.
-So I did it.
-
-"What do you see, Swatty?" I asked, because I was afraid he saw
-something to be frightened of. But what he saw was little flecks of
-leaves and things floating by in the water the way dust floats in the
-sunlight, and the reason he looked was so he could see which way the
-current was running, because no matter where we were we wanted to row
-up-stream. We had gone into the woods below the bottom road and when the
-water was as high as it was now the bottom road either made a dam across
-the bottom or the water came over it like a waterfall or rushed through
-in a rapids nobody could row up. So Swatty knew we couldn't have passed
-the bottom road but must be below it somewhere and the place we wanted
-to be at was just where the bottom road hit the hill, so what we had to
-do--wherever we were then--was to row up-stream. So we rowed. We rowed I
-don't know how far and all at once Bony said:
-
-"Look out! you're rowing into something!"
-
-Me and Swatty backed water as quick as we could and looked over our
-shoulders. What we had nearly rowed into was a pile of sticks and a heap
-of dried grass. It was a good deal as if somebody had chucked a couple
-of forks full of hay on a lot of driftwood and set it adrift.
-
-"There's something alive in it!" Bony sort of shivered.
-
-Swatty looked and I looked.
-
-"Mush-rat's house!" Swatty said right away, and it was. It was the kind
-the mush-rats make so that when a flood comes it will float and not
-sink, and there it was right out in the middle of the lake we were lost
-in.
-
-Then all at once Swatty said: "Say!"
-
-Gee, but he scared me!
-
-"What, Swatty?" I asked.
-
-"Say!" he said; "we're floating away from that mush-rat house and it
-ain't floating with us. I never heard of a mush-rat house out in the
-middle of a lake, with a current floating by, that didn't float with the
-current!"
-
-"Are you scared, Swatty?" I asked, for if he was scared I didn't know
-what I would be.
-
-"No, I ain't scared," he said, "but it ain't right. It ain't possible,
-that's all! I bet this is a haunted lake. I bet there is a haunted house
-around here, or an ol' witch, or something."
-
-"Come on, let's get out of it, then. Let's row!"
-
-I said.
-
-"You bet I'll row!" Swatty said, and we did. We steered off to one
-side of the mush-rat's house and rowed hard. We had a good double-ender
-skiff, rounded bottom and not flat bottom, and we made her hump! All of
-a sudden Swatty's left oar came out of the oarlock and he nearly fell
-backwards into the bottom of the boat. He got up and slapped the oar
-back into the oarlock and we both rowed hard.
-
-"We ain't moving!"
-
-Bony said that. He was hanging onto the sides of the skiff with both
-hands, looking scared and white, and you never heard anybody say
-anything the way he said that! It was like he had seen a ghost. Me and
-Swatty stopped rowing and looked. About twenty feet away from us was
-that old mush-rat house and we could see a little ripple of water on
-the upper side of it but it wasn't moving and we weren't floating away
-from it. There was the same kind of ripple against the bow of our boat.
-
-We rowed again and we rowed hard and the skiff didn't move! There we
-were, out in the middle of that haunted lake, or whatever it was, and no
-bottom that you could reach with an oar, and we couldn't row up-stream
-and we didn't float downstream. And over yonder was a mush-rat's house
-just like we were. It sure looked like we were in a haunted lake and I
-didn't blame Bony for being scared and crying. I was scared myself. It
-looked like we were in a haunted lake we could not row out of and that
-we might have to stay there forever.
-
-"Well, garsh!" Swatty said, "we rowed up here, we ought to be good and
-able to row back where we come from." So we swung the skiff around and
-rowed down-current. No good! We didn't move at all. Or we just moved a
-foot or two.
-
-It wasn't like when you run up on a snag or a rock. It wasn't stiff
-like that. We floated all right but we couldn't go anywhere.
-
-"Listen!" Swatty said.
-
-Away off far we heard voices and splashing, sounding the way things
-sound when you hear them across water. Swatty shouted. "Hello!" he
-shouted, and his voice came back to him, "Lo-wo-wo!" in an echo, the way
-echoes do.
-
-"All right!" he said. "Now we know where the Illinois hills are, anyway.
-That's the way they echo back at you, so they must be over there. And I
-bet those men splashing in the water are after buffalo with pitchforks.
-So that's where we want to row." That was pretty fine, wasn't it, when
-we couldn't row at all? I told Swatty so. I said we'd better shout and
-have the men come and get us. Swatty said they'd just think it was kids
-shouting for fun; and I guess that's what they did think, for we shouted
-and shouted, and when we quit we could still hear the men laughing and
-talking and splashing. So then Swatty sat down and put his head in his
-hands and thought. When we looked up he said:
-
-"Do you believe in haunts and things?"
-
-"I don't know," I said. "Do you?"
-
-"I don't know, either," Swatty said. "Maybe I do and maybe I don't, but
-I know one thing: I ain't going to believe in them until I have to. I
-ain't going to believe this boat is 'witched here until I know it ain't
-stuck here some other way. I'm going to find out."
-
-"How?" I asked.
-
-"Well, if we're stuck we're stuck on something under the water and
-that's sure, and I'm going to skin off my clothes and find out."
-
-So he did. I wouldn't have done it for a million dollars and I tried to
-make him not, but he did it. He took off his clothes and lowered himself
-over the side of the boat and said, garsh! how cold it was! So then he
-edged himself along, holding onto the side of the boat and all at once
-he swore.
-
-"What?" me and Bony both asked at once.
-
-"Bob wire!" he said, and he let go with one hand and felt down into
-the water. Then he took hold of the boat with both hands and felt along
-under the boat with his feet. "It's a post," he said. "It's a bob-wire
-fence."
-
-So that was what it was. There was a bob-wire fence and we had
-rowed right on top of one of the posts and stuck there, on a nail or
-something, and the post was loose in the mud and gave when we rowed, so
-we couldn't wrench loose by rowing. And that was why the mush-rat house
-did not float downstream; it was caught on another post. So all at once
-Swatty said:
-
-"I know where we are; we're in Shebberd's lower cornfield!" And that was
-where we were. The water had come up and covered it up to the tops of
-the bob-wire fence posts.
-
-Well, Swatty's teeth were chattering but he wouldn't get right into the
-boat. He made me and Bony row while he was out, and I guess with the
-boat lighter it floated off the post easier, for it did float off. So
-then Swatty got in and dressed and we rowed toward the voices and the
-splashing.
-
-It was Judge Hannan all right. He was pitch-forking buffalo fish with
-the Shebberds. He had on rubber hip boots and he was hot and having a
-good time. We rowed in close to where he was and watched them pitchfork
-awhile and then Swatty backwatered the skiff up to where the judge was
-standing and said:
-
-"Say, mister judge!"
-
-The judge leaned his hand on the stem of the boat and said:
-
-"Yes, my lad, what is it?"
-
-"Are you the judge that gives diworces?"
-
-"I'm the one that don't give them unless I have to, son," the judge
-laughed. "Looking for one? You don't look as if you had reached that age
-and state yet."
-
-"It ain't mine," Swatty said. "It's Bony's folkses. They're having a
-fight and they're going to get a diworce and me and Georgie and Bony
-don't want them to. So we rowed over to tell you not to give them one."
-
-The judge felt in his pocket and got out his spectacles and put them on
-and looked at us. He asked which was Bony and then he knew who Bony was
-and that he knew Bony's folks. He said he did.
-
-"And you don't want any divorces in your family, hey?" he said. "Why
-not?"
-
-Bony didn't say anything, so Swatty started to tell about the bicycle,
-but before he got very far Bony just doubled over and put his head on
-his knees and began to beller like a real baby. So the judge stopped
-Swatty.
-
-"Son," he said to Swatty, "I guess you've mistooken the proper legal
-grounds for not giving divorces. The desire of a youth to learn to ride
-one of the condemned things when he is related to the separating parties
-only by neighborhood is not sufficient to sway the court. But you, son,"
-he said to Bony, "have got exactly the right idea. You've swayed this
-old, bald-headed court right down to the mud he's standing in and, so
-help me John Joseph Rogers! if those two parents of yours get a divorce
-it will only be over my dead body! Hey, Sheb! can these kids go up to
-your house and get some buttermilk?"
-
-So I said I didn't like buttermilk and the judge said: "Caesar's ghost!
-I didn't mean get it for you; I meant get it for us!"
-
-So we got it. So Bony's folks didn't get a divorce. Anyway, if they
-did they didn't separate apart from each other and that was all me and
-Swatty cared for because Herb Schwartz wouldn't be scared to marry Fan,
-and maybe we could hurry up the wedding and get the tricycle sooner.
-
-
-
-
-IV. THE STUMP
-
-Well, you never can tell how things are going to go in this world, I
-guess. I don't mean that I spent all my time thinking how getting the
-tricycle with two seats would make Mamie Little think more of me than
-she thought of Toady Williams, because I didn't. I had school and my
-chores and me and Swatty and Bony was building a capstan in our side
-yard, to pull up stumps and move houses if we wanted to, but once in a
-while I did think how I would ride up to Mamie Little's front gate on
-the tricycle and say, "Say! wanta take a ride?"
-
-It looked as if it wouldn't be long before Herb and Fan got married,
-because they hadn't fought for a long while and Fan was embroidering
-towels by day and by night. One reason it all looked good was that Miss
-Murphy, who was my teacher and had had Herb for a while, had gone away
-for a while and Miss Carter was substituting for her in our room. So Fan
-needn't be jealous of Miss Murphy any more.
-
-So I felt pretty good mostly but I was feeling pretty mean this day,
-because Swatty and Bony had been let out on time and Miss Carter had
-kept me in after school. I was feeling mean because they would be
-working on the capstan, and it was the day we thought we would get it
-finished and begin capstaning things with it, and I wouldn't be home
-when they got it done. I wanted to be there when they started to use
-it. So that made me feel mean one way, and teacher made me feel meaner,
-another way.
-
-I liked Miss Carter better than any teacher I ever had. So all I did
-was not know my geography-lesson, or my arithmetic-lesson or my
-grammar-lesson, or my history, and I missed in spelling. I guess maybe I
-read all right, because she didn't say I didn't, but maybe she forgot to
-talk about that because she was so busy saying my deportment was bad and
-it was certainly an outrage that my copy-book was so poorly kept. So she
-kept me in to study, and it was four o'clock pretty soon, and she put
-her papers in her desk and shut down the lid and came back to my seat.
-Everybody else had gone home. I was sort of scared. I thought she was
-going to say her patience was exhausted and then whale me with the
-rawhide she kept in the closet.
-
-But she didn't. She came back to where I was, and when she got to my
-seat she sat down in it beside me and I had to move over so she would
-have room. I guess I ought to have put my hands in my pockets, but of
-course I didn't know what she was going to do, and the first thing she
-did was to put her left hand on top of my hand and hold it, like that,
-on top of my desk. So I tried to pull it away, but she held on. So then
-she put her arm--her right arm--along the desk back of me, and I felt
-mighty mean. A boy don't like to be armed around that way, or his hand
-held like that.
-
-"George," she said, "what is it? Why are you acting the way you are? Are
-you doing it to try to distress me?"
-
-Well, I couldn't say anything to that, could I? I just looked at the top
-of the desk and moved my feet around.
-
-"Tell me!" she said as if she wasn't mad at all but as if she was
-sorry. "I can't understand it. It is no use for you to pretend you can't
-learn your lessons, for I have seen that it is no trouble at all for
-you, when you want to. And you are such a naturally good, well-behaved
-boy at heart--why are you trying to act as if you were not? Are you
-doing it to distress me?"
-
-I guess I sort of said "No!" I don't know what I did say. I felt pretty
-bad, with my hand held like that and her arm right there and liable to
-get around my shoulders the way she does to the girls when she's fond of
-them and they disappoint her and she has a talk with them and makes them
-cry.
-
-"Then what is it, George?" she asked.
-
-Well, you can't blat right out and say nothing is the matter only you
-don't feel like learning any old lessons or anything, can you? There
-wasn't anything the matter. I didn't have it in for teacher or anything.
-I just didn't feel like learning any lessons about then, and it was mean
-of teacher to let on I was doing things because I didn't like her or
-something. So I didn't say anything. I sort of scrooged down in my seat
-so she couldn't put her arm around me any more than it was.
-
-"Is it Mamie Little?" she asked then, all of a sudden.
-
-That was an awful mean thing to say, and I guess she knew it was,
-because when a fellow has a girl he don't want anybody to know it or
-talk about it. He'll fight any fellow that says it, but he can't fight
-his teacher when she says it.
-
-"I think it must be Mamie Little, George," she said next, "because
-I have noticed you keep your eyes on her more than you do on your
-lessons."
-
-That made me squirm, I guess! But that wasn't the worst. She wasn't
-hardly started.
-
-"I don't blame you for liking Mamie, George," she said. "She is a sweet
-child and I love her, too, and I am glad you are fond of her; but don't
-you think she would like you better if you learned your lessons and
-behaved in a manner she could admire, instead of trying to attract her
-attention by smarty tricks? Don't you think a boy with your ability
-should try to impress her by his excellence rather than by his smarty
-tricks?"
-
-Gee! I felt mean! Running a fellow's girl in on him like that! I was
-so ashamed all over that I couldn't move. I didn't dare to move even a
-finger. I couldn't do anything but swallow.
-
-"Now, we won't say anything more about it," she said, and she patted my
-hand! "You know how much I like you, George, and how proud I usually am
-of you, and I think Mamie is fond of you, too. I don't think you need to
-be a smarty to attract her. If you don't care to do it for me, George,
-tell me you will try to learn your lessons and behave better on Mamie's
-account. You will, won't you? Say you will!"
-
-I guess I tried to say I would, but I couldn't even swallow. I didn't
-know how I'd even get away from there, because Miss Carter might stay
-until I said I would or something, and I couldn't work my voice: it had
-dried up, I guess. But I didn't have to say anything. Miss Carter put
-her hand on my head and let it stay there a minute, and then she smiled
-and jumped up as if everything was fixed and I had said I would, and she
-said: "All right, George; you can go home." And I went, you bet.
-
-Well, that settled Miss Carter with me! She had been one of the three
-women I thought were dandy, because the other two were my mother and my
-grandmother that everybody calls "Ladylove" because she is so dear, but
-after that I was done with Miss Carter. Anybody that would talk to a
-fellow about his girl as if she _was_ his girl! I guessed maybe I would
-n't go back to school any more unless I could get transferred to another
-teacher's room.
-
-So I felt pretty mean and sore and everything when I got home, and I
-started around to the side yard, where Swatty and Bony were finishing
-the capstan, and all at once my mother came to the end of the porch and
-pulled the vines aside and said:
-
-"George, come here!"
-
-I tried to think what I had done to make her say it like that, but I
-couldn't, only a fellow is always doing something, so it didn't matter
-much what it was. I went around and onto the porch.
-
-"Yes, ma'am," I said.
-
-"George," my mother said in the way they call severe, "Mrs. Martin was
-here."
-
-"Yes'm," I said, for I didn't know what else to say, because I didn't
-know why Mrs. Martin had been there. I knew who Mrs. Martin was and
-where she lived, because she was the lady that had the lame boy that
-would never grow up but would always be about five years old. He was
-thirteen years old, and he played with a rag doll and always stayed
-in his yard, but sometimes he looked out between the fence-pickets.
-Sometimes when I went downtown on errands and got a nickel for it and
-bought some candy, I'd give him a piece when I went by, and so would
-Swatty and so would Bony. Sometimes he'd say, "Where you get that ball?
-I want it!" just like a little baby, and if we didn't give it to him,
-he'd cry, but we couldn't give him our ball, could we? So when we went
-by his house we hid anything he might cry for, so he wouldn't cry for
-it. That was all I knew about Mrs. Martin, only she was a widow and she
-was cross sometimes. Anyway, sometimes she looked cross.
-
-"George," my mother said--and I guess she never spoke to me any sadder
-than she did then--"Mrs. Martin told me something I would never have
-believed of my boy. I have always thought you were a kind-hearted,
-considerate boy. Oh, George, why--why did you strike that poor, helpless
-little cripple?"
-
-"I did not! I didn't do any such thing! It ain't so!" I said, because I
-knew she meant I had hit Sammy Martin.
-
-My mother sort of threw out her hand.
-
-"Don't!" she said. "It is enough without that. It is enough to be a
-bully without being a liar. Mrs. Martin has told me--"
-
-"I ain't a liar!" I said, because I was so mad I could have cried. "If
-she said that, she's a liar; that's what she is!"
-
-Well, I oughtn't to have called a lady that, or anybody, but I was so
-mad I didn't think. I wasn't thinking about how I said it, and when a
-fellow's mother looks at him the way my mother was looking at me, and
-won't believe him when he's telling the truth, what's he going to do? I
-guess my mother was feeling pretty bad herself or she wouldn't have said
-any such thing to me as that I was one. Because I wasn't one! Not about
-that! I had never hit Sammy Martin. I had never done anything to him but
-give him candy once in a while.
-
-"George!" said my mother, and she was sad about it, as if she was now
-quite hopeless about me.
-
-Then she went on, as quietly as if we were at a funeral:
-
-"That poor child's mother came here to beg me to protect her child
-against you--to beg me to ask you not to harm him again! You called him
-to the fence and struck him across the face with a stick or a switch.
-Oh, don't deny it! She has seen you coax him to the fence before and
-give him candy, and when he came crying to her with a welt rising on
-his poor face, he told her you had done it. And I thought you were--I
-thought--"
-
-So then she cried, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and
-feel--oh, I don't know how I felt! I guess I had never felt like that in
-my life. It wasn't so, and I knew it wasn't so, and nobody would ever
-believe it wasn't so. I couldn't do anything but stand there and wish
-I was dead or grown up or something. I just stood and looked down, and
-once in a while I blinked. So then, after a while, my mother wiped her
-eyes and walked past me without saying anything or looking at me and
-went into the house, and I stood there awhile and then I sort of turned
-and went to the edge of the porch and sneaked around to the back yard.
-It wasn't fair to think such things of me when they were not so, and
-I felt awful bad. I never wanted to see my mother again. So then Swatty
-saw me and shouted.
-
-"Come on!" he yelled. "We've got her done! She's a dandy!"
-
-So I ran to where the capstan was, and she was a dandy!
-
-I guess you know what capstans are--the things they use in moving
-houses? In Riverbank they move a lot of houses, because people are
-always wanting to build other houses where houses already are, and you
-can't move a house without a capstan. They have them on boats, too, but
-not quite the same kind. The house-moving kind is like a square box,
-without sides. In the middle, up and down, is a kind of roller that the
-rope rolls onto, and the roller has to stick up above the top of the box
-so there can be a place to stick a pole into to turn the roller. When
-they move houses they set the capstan in the middle of the street a long
-way from the house, and carry a rope back and fasten it to the house,
-and then a horse that is fastened to the pole walks around and around
-the capstan, stepping over the rope every time he passes it, and winds
-up the rope, and that pulls the house. Only we didn't have any horse,
-so we thought maybe we'd use Swatty's cow. But we didn't. We turned the
-capstan ourselves. All the time we were making the capstan Swatty said
-the cow would turn it, but when we got it done he said:
-
-"Who ever heard of a cow turning a capstan?"
-
-"I did," I said. "In the Bible-book there is a picture of a cow turning
-a capstan."
-
-"Well, that ain't the same thing," Swatty said. "That's a Bible-cow, and
-ours is part Alderney and part Holstein."
-
-"And this isn't any cow-capstan, anyway," Bony said. "A cow couldn't
-work this capstan, because a cow has two toes, and she'd get the rope
-caught between her toes and fall and kill herself."
-
-"Whose cow are you saying would fall and kill herself--my cow?" Swatty
-asked, the way he did when he meant: "Take it back or I'll lick you!"
-Then he says: "You'd better not say my cow would fall and kill herself.
-If my cow couldn't step over a rope without getting it between her toes,
-I'd take her and kill her."
-
-"Aw, you would not!" I said.
-
-"Yes, I would, too!" Swatty said. "We had a cow once that couldn't step
-over a rope without getting it between her toes, and my father took her
-down to the river and killed her. You needn't say we'd have a cow that
-can't step over a rope--"
-
-"I never said it," I said.
-
-"Well, if you didn't say it, who did say it, I'd like to know," Swatty
-asked. "Bony didn't say it and you'd better not say he said it, because
-he came over and helped me finish the capstan, and you stayed in school
-and let us do it."
-
-"I didn't stay in school; I was kept in."
-
-"Well, you say you was, but I don't have to believe it, do I?"
-Swatty said. "I don't have to believe everything you say just because
-I'm--because I'm in your yard, do I?"
-
-Well, I saw Swatty wanted a fight, and I wanted a fight anyway. I felt
-like it. So I said; "Who are you calling a liar?"
-
-I went up close to him, and he went up close to me; and then I pushed
-him and he pushed me back; and then I hit him and he hit me back. And
-when he had me down and asked me if I had had enough and got off of me,
-we went ahead with the capstan. I wasn't hurt _anywhere_ except on the
-inside of my cheek, where a tooth cut it.
-
-The capstan was a good one. Swatty showed how it worked, and pushed the
-pole around, and it worked fine. So then I got my sled out of the barn,
-where it had been since last winter, and we took turns being pulled on
-the sled. So then we wished we had a house to move, but there wasn't
-any house or building we dared move. I bet we could have done it. So we
-looked for something we couldn't move without a capstan, so we could use
-the capstan to move it. There is no use having a capstan if you haven't
-anything to do with it. You might just as well not have made one. So I
-said:
-
-"I'll tell you! Let's pull up the old stump that's in our front yard!"
-
-"All right--let's!" Swatty said.
-
-We had a lot of trees in our yard--a big silver poplar in the back yard
-that was twice as big around as a barrel, and a yellow-mellow apple,
-and a Benoni apple, and a black-heart cherry, and a row of pines leading
-down to the gate, and big maples inside the fence, and maybe some more.
-There were trees all over town, lots of them, and you would have thought
-there had always been trees, but I guess that isn't so. People planted
-them. When people came to Riverbank and made a town of it, they planted
-the trees because there were none when they came, and I guess they
-liked it better with trees growing than when it was all bare. I know my
-grandmother did.
-
-My grandmother was an old, old woman, and she lived with us because the
-house had been built by my grandfather, and my grandfather had planted
-the trees. That was a long time before I was ever born. We called my
-grandmother "Ladylove," because I guess that is what my grandfather
-called her. Nobody ever called her anything else but Ladylove, not
-"Gran'ma" or anything like that.
-
-I guess nobody ever loved trees the way she loved them. I guess she was
-always sorry she had come away from Pennsylvania where there are lots of
-trees and hills. Sometimes, early in the morning, she would come out on
-the porch and look up and say, "I lift up mine eyes to the hills!" and
-then she would sigh and shake her head. That was because there was no
-hills in Riverbank when she lifted? up her eyes from our porch, and I
-guess she was thinking of the hills in Pennsylvania, because when she
-was a girl and lived there, there were always hills to lift up her eyes
-to--hills that were covered with trees.
-
-That was the way my grandmother Ladylove was, as old as old, and nobody
-ever loved trees the way she did. She liked boys too. She liked all the
-boys that ever came to play with me. She was the only one that never
-scolded me. Plenty of times when we had fresh cookies and nobody was to
-touch a single one until the next day, Ladylove would see us playing in
-the yard and she would come out with a china plate with a napkin on it
-piled up with cookies. Then she would say a verse of poetry and give us
-the cookies and go into the house just as happy as could be. Sometimes
-she would forget she had brought us any and would come right out with
-another plateful and say the poetry over again and be just as happy over
-that one as she was over the other.
-
-When I said, "Let's pull the old stump that's in the front yard," I
-didn't think anything but that it would be a good thing to pull. I
-didn't even know it had ever _been_ a tree; it had always been a stump
-since I was a little bit of a kid, anyway. It wasn't much of a stump
-any more. It was only about as high as my knee, and right at the ground
-it was only as big around as a man's knee. Once I had a little hatchet,
-but it wouldn't cut much, but I chopped the stump with it. I could only
-chop off a little splinter at a time, and I never got much off. It only
-made the stump raggedy at the top. It was just an old stump that wasn't
-worth anything and wasn't any good to anybody.
-
-Swatty and Bony and me started to move the capstan into the front yard
-where the stump was. It was so heavy we could hardly wiggle it, so after
-we had moved it an inch or two I said:
-
-"Aw! we can't move it!"
-
-So Bony said the same thing; but Swatty stood and looked at the capstan
-awhile, and then he said: "Yes, we can move it, too! We can make it move
-itself."
-
-"How can we?"
-
-"You come ahead and I'll show you," he said; and he did. He drove a
-stake into the ground about as far as our capstan rope would reach, and
-fastened the rope to it. Then he made Bony turn the capstan pole, and
-that wound up the rope, and the capstan just had to move toward the
-stake. When we got it to the stake we knocked the stake out with an
-axe and put it in again farther along. That way we moved the capstan to
-where we wanted it. Swatty thought of how to do it.
-
-So then we had the capstan in the front yard, and we tied the rope
-around the old stump and tried to pull it, but the capstan just moved
-up to the stump. So Swatty said he knew what was the matter and that we
-were all crazy because we didn't think of it before, and that all the
-house-movers, when they were moving houses, drove stakes in front of
-their capstans to keep them from moving, and stakes behind them to keep
-them from tipping up.
-
-We got some stakes and did it. Swatty drove the stakes because he was
-strongest, and anyway, he knew how to swing an axe, because he had
-often studied how the circus roughnecks swung them. Anyway he said he
-had. He said he had sat for over an hour and just studied how they swung
-axes at stakes and that then he asked one roughneck to let him try
-it, and he did, and he drove over a hundred. He said that while he was
-driving stakes Mr. Barnum came out of the big tent and watched him, and
-that he liked the way he was driving stakes so well that he offered him
-a hundred dollars a year just to drive stakes for the circus. So I asked
-Swatty if he took up the offer, and he said he did. He said he went with
-the circus all over the United States, driving stakes, and that he drove
-so many he got so he could drive a stake with one blow. So then he said
-he went to Mr. Bamum and asked him to pay him two hundred dollars a
-year, but Mr. Bamum said he couldn't afford it. He said Swatty was worth
-two hundred dollars a year but the show couldn't afford it. So, Swatty
-said, he came home. That's what Swatty said, but I didn't hardly believe
-it. But, anyway, we had to let him drive the stakes.
-
-Well, the stump didn't come out as easy as we had thought it would. It
-was pretty rotten, and it pulled off piece by piece, but the inside was
-tough. Our rope was old, too, and broke nearly every time we tautened
-it. But it was good fun, anyway. We took turns turning the capstan pole.
-One would turn and the other would keep the rope on the stump and the
-other would be boss and shout, "Whoa! Get up! Whoa there, you!" A lot
-of boys came and looked through the picket fence and wished we would let
-them come in and help us capstan the stump, but we wouldn't. What's the
-use of having something somebody else hasn't got, if you are going to
-let them have it too?
-
-Pretty soon we got the stump all pulled. There was only a hole where it
-had been and the rotted wood was scattered around on the grass, and we
-felt pretty good about it, because nobody wants old stumps sticking up
-in their yards. Swatty said maybe my father would give me a quarter for
-pulling the stump and I thought maybe he would, too. We all felt as if
-we had done something pretty fine, and I wished I could go and get my
-mother and have her come out and see how good our capstan was and have
-her say, "Why, that's fine, Georgie! I'll have your father give you
-a quarter when he comes home." But I remembered about Mrs. Martin. I
-remembered that my mother would probably never think anything I ever did
-again was any good at all. So I didn't call her.
-
-Just then Ladylove--my grandmother--came out of the side door. She stood
-a moment on the top step, looking, and then she came down to the grass
-and started toward us. She had a plate in her hand, and there were
-graham crackers on it, because there were no cookies that day. I guess
-she heard us shouting and thought we would like some graham crackers,
-because we were boys.
-
-As soon as I saw her I jumped and ran toward her, because she was some
-one we could show what we had done.
-
-"Come here, Ladylove," I shouted. "Come on, we want to show you what we
-did with our capstan!"
-
-"Yes! yes!" she said.
-
-So I took the plate of crackers, and with the other hand I sort of
-steadied her elbow, because our yard wasn't very smooth and she didn't
-walk very steady or very fast. We came to where the capstan was, and she
-steadied herself with one hand on it.
-
-"There!" I said. "See what we did, Ladylove! We pulled that old tree
-stump right out of the ground. We got rid of that old stump all right!"
-
-Ladylove stood quiet so long that I got frightened. She looked up at the
-sky and when she looked down at me there were tears in her eyes. I could
-see them.
-
-"My tree! My beautiful tree!" she said. "Ah, Georgie, could you kill my
-tree?" And then she closed her eyes and held out her hands and said:
-
- "Degenerate Douglas! Oh, the unworthy lord!
- Whom mere despite of heart could so far please
- To level with the dust a noble horde,
- A brotherhood of venerable trees!"
-
-It wasn't a horde of trees at all, nothing but an old rotten stump and
-no good to anybody, but I felt awful bad about it as soon as she spoke
-that poetry--not because the old stump was any good but because my
-grandmother was so old and seemed to think so much of the old stump.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony just stood and didn't know what to say. We wished
-she had scolded us or something instead of feeling that way.
-
-"Gone! Gone!" she said, letting her hands fall, as if that old stump was
-the only thing she ever cared for. "Gone!"
-
- "It is not now as it has been of yore;
- Turn wheresoe'er I may,
- By night or day,
- The things which I have seen
- I now can see no more!"
-
-Well, we couldn't say anything, could we, when she felt like that? We
-could just feel mean. It didn't matter that we knew it was just an old,
-rotten, no good stump, because she thought it was a tree and that we had
-cut it down. She shook her head, and then:
-
- "Some they have died, and some they have left me,
- And some are taken from me; all are departed;
- All, all are gone, the old familiar faces."
-
-So then she turned and walked away with her head bent down and the tears
-running down her cheeks, and I stood there with the plate of graham
-crackers in my hand and didn't know what to do or what to say, and
-Bony stood and looked kind of scared. I didn't dare look after my
-grandmother. I just felt mean and sneaky and ashamed and sort of
-miserable about everything, because I knew she thought I had done it
-when I knew I oughtn't to have done it. At the step of the side door
-she stopped and looked back and then went into the house, all old and
-sad-looking. I guessed I had broken her heart, she felt so bad about it.
-
-So then Bony started to go home. He didn't say anything, but he sort of
-edged off as if he wanted to sneak away and get out of any trouble I was
-in. Swatty spoke right up.
-
-"You come back here!" he said. "You come back, or I'll show you!"
-
-I was glad to have anybody say anything, even that.
-
-"Aw, I got to go home," Bony said. But he came back. He knew what Swatty
-would do to him if he didn't. So then Swatty made a face at the pieces
-of old stump.
-
-"Garsh!" he said. "Garsh! who'd of thunk anybody cared for that old
-stump? We didn't know Ladylove cared that much for it, did we? Well,
-come on!"
-
-"Come on where?" Bony sort of whined.
-
-"Where do you think?" Swatty asked. "What do I care where? Anywhere we
-can get a tree to plant--that's where. We'll get a big tree, like those
-maple trees, and we'll fetch it here and plant it; that's what we'll
-do! I'll tell you what. We'll take the capstan rope and go out to the
-cow pasture and dig up a big tree and let my cow drag it here. We'll
-play she's a team of oxen."
-
-Well, we got to fighting about who would drive the team of oxen and who
-would ride on the tree, and we forgot all about being ashamed of pulling
-up the stump. We took a spade and the axe, and went out to the pasture,
-but when we saw how big a big tree was, we guessed we'd get one that
-wasn't so big, and then we guessed we'd get one that wasn't as big
-as that, because Swatty said he didn't want his cow to strain herself
-pulling it. So the one we got wasn't very big, after all, but it was
-more of a tree than that old rotten stump was. It was a willow tree. We
-got a willow tree after we'd tried to dig up the roots of an elm tree.
-Swatty said that a willow tree didn't need any roots.
-
-The cow didn't like pulling a tree very well, but she got used to it
-before we got home--only we couldn't ride on such a little tree. We had
-to take turns being the ox-driver. But we got home all right and dug a
-hole where the old stump had been, and we planted the tree. She looked
-bully. She looked almost like a real tree. So then I went into the house
-to get my grandmother, to show her, so she wouldn't feel so bad about
-the old stump.
-
-I guess she had forgotten all about it. She was sitting by the window,
-reading the limber-backed psalm-book, and when I came in she looked up
-and smiled.
-
-"Come on out in the yard, Ladylove," I said. "I want to show you what me
-and Bony and Swatty did."
-
-She closed the psalm-book with her glasses inside and put the book on
-her sewing-table and went with me. I took her right to where the tree
-was.
-
-"There!" I said. "Me and Bony and Swatty planted a new tree for you
-where that old stump was."
-
-THE STUMP
-
-My grandmother looked at the tree. Her eyes were full of tears again,
-but they weren't the kind that worried me. She held out a hand toward
-the tree and said some more poetry:
-
- "What plant we in this apple tree?
- Buds, which the breath of summer days
- Shall lengthen into leafy sprays;
- Boughs, where the thrush with crimson breast
- Shall haunt and sing and hide her nest.
- We plant upon the sunny lea
- A shadow for the noontide hour,
- A shelter from the summer shower,
- When we plant the apple tree."
-
-Well, it wasn't an apple tree, but I didn't care, and neither did
-Swatty or Bony. I was just glad because Ladylove was glad, and I guessed
-she knew it wasn't an apple tree, because when you use poetry you have
-to use the kind there is, and it don't always fit. But this one fitted
-close enough to show how happy Ladylove was. She was very happy, and
-when she had said the verses she laughed and kissed Swatty's hand, and
-then Bony's and then mine, and took her skirt in two hands and made us a
-curtsy and went away as happy as anything. I felt pretty good.
-
-So just then my father came home, because it was supper-time. He came
-into the yard, and he walked across the grass to where we were. He
-looked sort of sober, the way fathers do when they want to know what
-their sons have been doing.
-
-"What's that?" he asked, short.
-
-"It's a capstan," I said. "Me and Bony and Swatty made it."
-
-"What are you going to do with it?"
-
-"I don't know. Maybe nothing."
-
-"Hm! And what is this tree doing here?"
-
-"Why--" I said, and then I didn't know what to say.
-
-"Why, there was an old stump here," said Swatty, "and we pulled it up
-with the capstan, and Ladylove, she came out, and she felt pretty bad--"
-"She couldn't remember it wasn't a tree #ny more," said Bony.
-
-"And so we went and got a tree and planted it for her," I said.
-
-My father looked at me. Then he turned away. "Don't do any damage with
-that capstan thing," he said, and that was all.
-
-Well, nobody said anything at supper, so after supper I went out and sat
-on the porch, and Herb Schwartz had come over to talk with Fan awhile
-and they were there too. So pretty soon my father came out and lighted
-a cigar and gave Herb one. Then my mother came out and I guessed I would
-go into the back yard or somewhere, because I knew she would tell my
-father about what Mrs. Martin had lied about me hurting her crazy boy.
-So I went and sat on the woodshed step awhile, because if my father was
-going to lick me he would do it out there anyway.
-
-But he didn't come, so after a while I went around front again. I
-stopped by the vines at the end of the porch, because my father was
-talking.
-
-"And I will tell you something else," he was saying. So he told them
-about the stump, and how we had pulled it up and then gone and got
-another tree because Ladylove felt so bad about it. "And Mrs. Martin nor
-any one else need tell me that a boy that would do that would torment
-a crippled child," my father said. "I think I know my son George fairly
-well. What did George say about it?"
-
-"He said Mrs. Martin--lied," said my mother. "And she probably did,"
-said my father. "Unintentionally but none the less wickedly. I am going
-to see her. I think she is going to apologize."
-
-So I felt bully about that, and my father went down the walk and mother
-went into the house. I felt bully because father was right. Only I was
-n't the one that thought of planting the new tree. That was Swatty. But
-I guess I'd have thought of it if Swatty hadn't.
-
-I was just going to go up on the porch when Fan said something. What she
-said was:
-
-"Poor father! The way he lets Georgie behave and then stands up for
-him!"
-
-"Why, Fan," Herb said, "you don't think George did anything of the sort
-Mrs. Martin said, do you?"
-
-"I wouldn't put it beyond him," Fan said.
-
-"That's not fair! That's unjust!" Herb said.
-
-"Oh! I'm unfair, am I? I'm unjust, am I?" Fan flared up.
-
-"You are if you say such things about George," Herb said, and he said it
-out flat, too, as if he meant it.
-
-"Oh!" Fan said. "The last time I was jealous. Now I am unjust! I'm sure
-I thank you for your opinion of me--"
-
-"And, now, Frances," said Herb, standing up because Fan was, "you are
-unfair and unjust to me. Either that or frivolous."
-
-"Oh!" Fan cried out and she slung something on the porch that bounced
-and rolled. It came through the vines and to where I was, and I picked
-it up. It was her engagement ring, but she didn't care where it went,
-because she went slamming into the house, and Herb went stamping to the
-gate and out of the yard.
-
-So I stood there and looked at the ring and felt pretty sick, because
-it was just because Herb thought I wasn't a liar and a mean
-cripple-torturer that he had stood up for me. And, just because I was
-n't, his wedding was off again and nobody could tell when me and Swatty
-would get his tricycle.
-
-
-
-
-V. SCRATCH-CAT
-
-Well, when mother heard that Herb and Fan had had another fight she was
-so hurt by it she just set down and cried and said, "Fan! Fan! I don't
-know what is going to become of you with that temper of yours, because
-Herbert Schwartz is one of the finest young men in the whole world and
-if you keep on you 'll delineate his affections away from you entirely
-forever," or something like that.
-
-And it did look like it. Professor Martin's leg didn't get any better
-and he had to go over to the hospital at Chicago to have it broke
-again and fixed and Herb was made a regular professor at our school and
-principal of it, and every day he used to come into our room and talk
-awhile with Miss Carter, and walk home with her. I tell you it looked
-mighty bad for Fan, and I didn't blame Herb, because Miss Carter was
-nice. She was nice for a teacher, I mean, and sweet and pretty and
-everything.
-
-Well, I had the engagement ring. I didn't know whether it was mine or
-whose it was, because Fan had thrown it away and Herb hadn't bothered to
-pick it up. So it looked as if it was mine, because finders is keepers.
-So I asked Swatty. So Swatty wanted to look at the ring and when he saw
-it had a diamond in it he said it was my ring, because Herb and Fan had
-thrown it away, but that half of it was his, because Herb was as much
-Swatty's brother as Fan was my sister, and if they had of had the fight
-on Herb's porch instead of Fan's porch, it would of been Swatty that
-found the ring. So we had it in pardnership and said we would keep it,
-because if Herb got engaged again to Fan or to Miss Carter or anybody we
-could trade it to him for his two-seat tricycle, maybe.
-
-Bony was sitting there all the time, listening to us, so all at once he
-said:
-
-"Ain't any of the ring going to be mine?"
-
-The reason he said it was because most of the things we have we have
-sort of in cahoots, the three of us.
-
-"Garsh, no, Bony," Swatty said. "We'd like to have you part own it but
-you ain't got no excuse to. Herb ain't your brother, and Fan ain't your
-sister, like they are mine and Georgie's, are they? You ain't related to
-the ring no way. We wish he was, don't we, Georgie? but he ain't."
-
-Well, Bony was sort of mad at it, but it wasn't our fault. So then
-Swatty said to me:
-
-"I ain't going to play with your sister any more."
-
-"Why ain't you?" I asked him.
-
-"Because I ain't," he said. "If my brother Herb ain't good enough for
-your sister Fan, then I ain't good enough to play with Lucy. And I
-won't." Well, I knew what he meant, even if he didn't say it out in
-words. He meant that he had been having Lucy for his secret girl, like
-I wanted to have Mamie Little for mine, and now he wasn't going to have
-her any more because Fan had been mean to Herb.
-
-"Well, I don't blame you," I said. "I wouldn't either."
-
-So none of us said anything for a while. Then all at once Bony said
-something.
-
-"Say!" he said.
-
-"Say it yourself and see how you like it," Swatty said.
-
-"Why, say!" Bony said, getting red in the face and digging into the
-grass with his toe; "if--if you don't want to play with her, can I play
-with her?"
-
-He meant with Lucy. He meant could he have Lucy for his girl if Swatty
-didn't want her any more, only he didn't say it right out, of course.
-So Swatty said he could. He said he didn't want her and Bony could have
-her.
-
-"Well, then--" Bony said. "Well, then, I'd ought to be part owner of the
-ring."
-
-So we talked it over and me and Swatty thought that would be all right,
-because if Bony wasn't a brother or sister of Herb or Fan he was going
-to have Lucy for his girl and Lucy was my sister and Fan's. So we told
-Bony he was third pardner in the ring.
-
-I guess Bony felt pretty set up and proud to have a girl that Swatty had
-had, when he had never had any girl before. Right away he began to get
-mad when we said Lucy was his girl, and that's a good sign, because
-that's the way fellows feel.
-
-But girls don't feel that way when they Have fellows. Right away they
-begin to wiggle their skirts when they walk, and want their mothers
-to curl their hair every day, and put fresh hair-bows on them. So they
-start right in saying how they hate the fellow that's their fellow; but
-they take slate pencils and apples and things from him when he gives
-them on the sly, and they begin writing notes to him in school, like
-"Don't you think you 're smart with your new shoes on," and things
-like that. So he feels pretty good after all, and gives her apples when
-nobody is looking, and pushes her around mean-like when anybody does
-look.
-
-But she don't mind being pushed around, because that's one way she knows
-he's her fellow. So, when there is a party, she is the one he drops a
-pillow before, and if she don't kiss him, all right for her! But mostly
-she does. She lets on that she hates it, but she don't. She likes it.
-
-Well, I guess one reason Swatty was glad to get rid of Lucy was because
-Swatty didn't care for kissing games anyway, and it wasn't much fun for
-him to have a girl, because nobody hardly dared yell at him:
-
- "Swatty! Swatty! Swatty!
- Lucy she is your girl!"
-
-He was too good a fighter. And half the fun of having a girl is getting
-mad because they yell it at you. And, anyway, Swatty was sort of rough
-to have Lucy for his girl, and she didn't like to have him for a fellow
-very much. As soon as school was out Swatty would begin clod fighting
-with the Graveyard Gang, or make a bee-line for the baseball lot, or
-get up a good fight. He never wanted to sort of walk on the edge of the
-sidewalk when the girls were walking on the middle of it, and cut up
-funny to make them look and giggle. It was boys he liked to push around,
-and not girls.
-
-One reason Lucy didn't care much to have him for her fellow was because
-his father and mother were German, and none of the girls like a Dutchy
-for a fellow, because lots of Dutchies worked in the sawmills and
-couldn't talk good English. But Swatty's father didn't work in a
-sawmill; he was a tailor. But he was a Dutchy just the same, and when
-the fellows got mad at Swatty sometimes they would yell:
-
- "Dutchy! Dutchy!
- Stuffed with straw
- Can't say nothing but
- 'Yaw! yaw! yaw!'"
-
-Well, when I had time to think it over I thought it was funny that
-Swatty had let Bony have a third partnership in the engagement ring as
-easy as he had. And then one day I found out why it was. It shows how
-slick Swatty was to keep a secret or anything.
-
-The vacation before the time I'm telling about--which was almost
-vacation time again--there was a new girl came to Riverbank. She lived
-in a little house across Main Street that had a picket fence and a yard
-that ran mostly down the gully toward Front Street, and the first I knew
-about her was one day when I had to go down town on an errand and went
-past her house.
-
-I had on some new shoes, so I knew everybody would see them and be
-thinking of them, and I felt pretty mean; and when I went by the little
-house the girl was behind the picket fence, looking out. So I made a
-face at her, because it was none of her business if I did have on new
-shoes.
-
-It was summer, of course, and hot; but the girl had on a woolen
-dress--red and black checks--and it fitted her pretty tight all over,
-and was too short and little, so that it was tight like skin, and her
-wrists stuck out too far. She was barefoot, too, and that was funny,
-because girls don't go barefoot. It was as funny to see her barefoot as
-to see me with shoes on.
-
-I was going to yell something at her, but I didn't, I only made a face
-at her. But she didn't make one back at me. She just looked.
-
-She wasn't like any girl in Riverbank that I ever saw. She was
-brown--almost like an Indian--but she had reddish cheeks, and her hair
-was as black as tar and cut short, like a boy's, only it was banged in
-front, and her bangs were so long they came down to her eyes, and were
-cut as straight as a string.
-
-She stood behind the picket fence and just looked at me, and I didn't
-like it. Her eyes were like big black marbles and her mouth like a
-painted red. So I whistled and looked the other way and the first thing
-I knew she was out of the gate and after me. I tried to run, but she
-cornered me and took me by the hair and jerked me back and forth. I
-thought she was going to jerk my head off. So I pulled loose and ran,
-because no girl can jerk me around by the hair like that. So all she got
-for her smarty business was just a handful of hair or two. And who cares
-for a handful of hair?
-
-Well, you bet I got even with her, all right! I never went past her
-house alone after that.
-
-So that's the way she was. She stayed in her yard, and when a boy came
-along she would jump out and grab him by the hair, or slap him, and
-chase him away from in front of her house. She was a tartar, all right.
-She was like a spider that is always waiting and comes out and grabs
-flies; only what she grabbed wasn't flies--it was boys. So we all got
-afraid of her, and we didn't dast go past her house unless we were
-two or three together. And then we generally went round some other way.
-Except Swatty.
-
-Because one day Swatty he went past her house, and she come out and was
-going to pull his hair, like she did the rest of us; and when she came
-at him he backed up against the fence, and when she reached out for his
-hair he hit her hand away with one hand and slapped her on the face good
-and plenty. He slapped her two or three times and dared her to touch
-him. So she didn't say anything, and Swatty didn't say anything, and
-they just stood there.
-
-And pretty soon Swatty went on downtown. So she just stood there.
-
-Well, me and Bony used to play with girls sometimes because they let us
-be the husbands and fathers, and boss them around and whip the children.
-So when we did Swatty used to come along. Mostly he would sit and
-whittle until me and Bony got through, but sometimes he would be the
-policeman to arrest the husbands when they got drunk, or a pirate, or an
-Indian lurking to scalp the wives, or a 'rangatang to carry the children
-off.
-
-I guess the girls wished he wouldn't come, because a 'rangatang is such
-an interruption to plain housekeeping, and pirates and policemen are
-an awful nuisance to mothers who want to bring up a peaceful family
-and don't want their husbands taken to jail just when the mud pies are
-cooked and dinner is ready. But they couldn't help it, because if they
-didn't let him me and Bony would go where Swatty went.
-
-Well, one time when teacher kept Swatty in school to have the principal
-lick him, she went out to get the principal and locked Swatty in the
-room, and he climbed out of the window onto a maple tree branch and
-got away. So the principal licked him the next day. Anyway, the trees
-darkened the room all up, so they had the janitor cut down the two trees
-and they fell down the bank back of the schoolhouse.
-
-So that day the leaves were only beginning to wither, and the branches
-of the trees made a bully place to play in. So Mamie Little and my
-sister and me and Bony went right out there after dinner and played
-house; and when Swatty had been licked, or whatever he had been kept in
-for, he came there too. We made houses among the branches and
-leaves, and were fathers and mothers; and Swatty had a lair and was a
-'rangatang, and hung by his knees and swang from branch to branch.
-
-It was pretty good fun, even if it was playing with girls, because it
-was a jungle, and me and Bony hunted the wild 'rangatang between meals;
-and we were playing along all right when I saw my sister standing and
-looking. I guess you know how a girl stands and looks--the way a cow
-does--when she don't like something. So I looked, and out in the street
-was the girl in the red and black check woolen dress. She was just
-standing and looking back at my sister. It made my sister mighty mad. I
-guess girls can look the things boys generally holler at each other. So
-my sister said:
-
-"Bony, I don't want that girl to look at me!"
-
-So Bony looked, and when he saw who was looking he said:
-
-"Aw! let her look! Let her look, if she wants to. She ain't hurting
-anybody!"
-
-So then my sister got awful mad. She stamped her foot.
-
-"I _won't_ let her look at me that way."
-
-So she started on a run for the girl. She didn't get quite up to her.
-Before she got quite to her, the girl sort of flashed up to my sister.
-That was about all I could see. The next I saw, she was standing just
-where she had always been, and my sister was flopped down on the ground
-with her arms over her head, yelling bloody murder. So I jumped out of
-the tree and ran up to my sister. Her face was all scratched up. There
-were four long scratches on each side of her face where the girl had
-raked her with her claws. So Mamie Little came running too, and helped
-my sister up.
-
-"If I was a boy," she said, "I wouldn't let anybody do that to my sister
-unless I was a 'fraid-cat."
-
-"Aw! who's a 'fraid-cat?" I said. I wasn't no more 'fraid-cat than she
-was, but I guess J knew that girl.
-
-So Mamie Little took my sister by the arm. "Come on," she said. "I guess
-everybody around here is a 'fraid-cat. You and me will be mad at them
-and stay mad for ever and ever!"
-
-So I had to go. I wasn't going to hit the girl. I just thought I'd sort
-of push her away--only maybe a little rough--until I pushed her
-inside her gate, so I could show a smarty like Mamie Little who was a
-'fraid-cat and who wasn't. I walked over to where the girl was, and
-she waited for me. All I had time to see was the girl's eyes turning to
-something like prickly black fire, and something plumped against me like
-a bag of flour shot out of a sling. It was as if her body hit against
-me everywhere at once. And then something grabbed my hair and yanked
-me, and I felt scratches burning on my face, and, somehow, I was on the
-ground, yelling and holding my arms above my head. The girl was standing
-where she had always been. I heard Mamie Little and my sister yelling:
-
-"Scratch-Cat! Scratch-Cat!"
-
-Swatty came on the run. He was pretty mad, because him and me was chums,
-and I was his cow-cousin and his double Dutch uncle, and he ran right
-past me and up to the girl. He gave her a push with his hand, and it
-sort of pushed her around; but she straightened up again and just looked
-at him.
-
-"You scratch-cat!" he said, as mean as he knew how. "Who are you
-scratching around here, I'd like to know?"
-
-I thought she'd jump on him and claw him, like she did me; but she
-didn't.
-
-"I ain't going to hurt you," she said.
-
-"You bet you ain't!" Swatty said. "'Cause why? 'Cause you darsent,
-that's why!" Only he said, "'Cors why?" like he always does.
-
-She didn't say she did dare, and she didn't say she didn't dare. She
-said:
-
-"Come over in my yard and play with me. Don't you play with them. I can
-play good."
-
-So Swatty pushed her again, and she stepped back a step.
-
-"Don't you play with girls!" she said. "You come and play with me."
-
-"Aw! you're a girl too," Swatty said. "Go awrn home and play with
-yourself."
-
-So he gave her another push. She looked as if she hadn't ever thought
-that she was a girl before. She said:
-
-"I can beat you running. I can beat you jumping. I can beat you climbing
-trees. I can beat you skinning the cat. I can chin myself ten times more
-than you can. I can stand on my head longer than you can."
-
-"Go awrn home!" Swatty said, and gave her another shove.
-
-She stepped back again.
-
-"Come on and play in my yard," she said again. "I can throw you any hold
-you want. I can fight you and lick you."
-
-"Becors you're a scratch-cat," Swatty said, and pushed her again.
-
-"I can lick you without scratching," the girl said. "Well, then, do it!"
-said Swatty. "Go on and do it, why don't you? I want to see you do it!"
-
-So each time he said it he gave her a push.
-
-"I won't!" she said. "I ain't going to fight you."
-
-"You darsent!"
-
-"I ain't going to!"
-
-"You don't dare!"
-
-"I ain't going to!"
-
-So every time Swatty said anything he shoved her again, and pretty soon
-he had her pushed clear back against the fence of her yard, and he left
-her there and came back. We went on playing. But every once in a while
-we thought of her, and when we looked she was standing just where Swatty
-had left her.
-
-Well, we found out her name was Dell Brown, because my father went to
-speak to her father about the way she scratched my sister. Her father's
-name was Reverend Brown; but he had adopted her because her folks died,
-and she was a sore trial, but no doubt willed by the Almighty. The
-Reverend Brown was a sort of preacher, and had an old white horse and
-drove around the country and preached wherever he thought they needed
-preaching. Mrs. Brown was a sort of invalid and old, like Reverend Brown
-was, and he was almost too old to adopt Dell Brown for his daughter.
-He had ought to have adopted her for his granddaughter when he was
-adopting.
-
-So he said he would pray about it, and Mrs. Brown said she couldn't
-understand Dell Brown, hardly, why she had the fighting streak in her,
-because at home she was all love and affection to Mrs. Brown, and a word
-made the child weep. I guess Dell Brown had just so much fight in her
-and had to get it fought out. I guess she thought it was better to go
-out and fight than to fight Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Maybe she was sort of
-fond of them because they were funny and old and had adopted her. I
-guess she was like George Washington: she was good and nice, but she
-liked to fight.
-
-Well, after while school started again. I kind of hated to go, because
-I always hate to, but more because I thought Dell Brown would go to
-school. So she did, and the first time she got me alone she took me
-by the hair and walloped me good. I hadn't done nothing to her, except
-maybe yell "Scratch-Cat!" at her sometimes when I was far enough away.
-So after that I didn't go to school very early, but kind of hung around
-until Dell Brown went in, and then I went in. I never told on her. If
-she says I did she tells what ain't so. It was Toady Williams.
-
-Me and Swatty was kept in that day, like we 'most always were, and Bony
-was waiting outside. So Miss Murphy thought it wasn't any use talking
-to Dell Brown any more; it was time to rawhide her. She got the rawhide
-out of the closet, and told Dell Brown to come to the back of the room,
-and Dell Brown went. Miss Murphy put one hand on Dell Brown's shoulder,
-and lifted up the whip to switch her across the legs, and the next thing
-she did was to let out a scream, and you couldn't have believed her
-dress could be tom so in just a second if you hadn't seen it. Her hands
-were beginning to get red in streaks where Dell Brown had scratched
-them. So Dell Brown just threw Miss Murphy's hair switch on a desk, and
-stood there with her chest swelling in and out under her red and black
-checked dress, and Miss Murphy backed away and began winding her switch
-on her head again.
-
-When Miss Murphy got her hair on, she went out and locked the door and
-got Professor Martin, the principal, who is her beau. He came in, and he
-was pretty mad. He grabbed Dell Brown and gave her a shake, and she
-flew at him like a cat and scratched him across the face. He slung her
-around, and she hit a desk and fell on the floor. It made her cry, and
-Professor Martin was scared of what he had done and went to pick her up.
-But when he stooped she clawed at him and scratched his other cheek, and
-he left her alone and told her to get up and go home, because she was
-expelled from school.
-
-So Dell Brown got up, and held her hand to her side, and went and got
-her books and went home. But there was only one rib broke, and I guess
-it healed all right, because she was young and tough. But nobody whipped
-any more girls in school. I guess they thought it was safer to whip
-boys. They are more used to it, and their ribs ain't so brittle. Or
-maybe the school board stopped it. Professor Martin almost got fired
-because he had broken a rib for Scratch-Cat and he would of been fired
-only Scratch-Cat was such a ruffian, everybody said.
-
-Well, of course the expelling didn't take, and Dell Brown came back
-after while, when Miss Murphy went away and Miss Carter came. She didn't
-fight much, because her rib was brittle yet, but she was cross all the
-time. It looked like she hated everybody and everybody hated her.
-
-But one day Miss Carter was walking down the aisle and she had some
-flowers pinned on, and one dropped in the aisle, and Dell Brown picked
-it up and put it in a book. She used to open the book and look at the
-flower. She used to sit and look at Miss Carter, and you couldn't tell
-whether she was mad at her or not, because her face was so dark and her
-bangs so long that she always looked scowly. But I guess she wasn't
-mad, I guess she wanted Miss Carter to like her, but didn't know how to
-make her.
-
-None of the girls played with Scratch-Cat because she scratched; and
-none of the boys played with her either, because they were afraid of
-her. As soon as school was out she would go home and play in her own
-yard. I guess she was pretty lonely.
-
-Well, that was how it was up to the time I'm telling about, just before
-school closed, in June, and the weather was bully and warm. It made you
-want to do things. So on Saturday me and Swatty and Bony was sitting in
-my barn and talking about what we would do that afternoon. We thought of
-a lot of things, and said them, but, every time, Swatty said: "Aw! no,
-let's don't!" So we didn't. So then I said:
-
-"I'll tell you what!"
-
-"What?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Pshaw, no!" I said. "It ain't no use. We couldn't get any. It ain't
-time for them yet."
-
-"Aw! what are you talking about?" Swatty asked. "What ain't it time
-for?"
-
-"Water-lilies," I said. "If it was time for waterlilies we could row up
-to the water-lily pond and get some water-lilies."
-
-So then Swatty he talked up.
-
-"Well, we could row up the river anyway, couldn't we?" he said--only he
-said "rowr" instead of "row," like he always does. "We could rowr up the
-river and get some pond-lily roots and sell them."
-
-"Aw! who would buy old pond-lily roots?" Bony wanted to know.
-
-Well, I thought at first that the reason Swatty said we could sell
-pond-lily roots was because once I had told him about a man or somebody
-who had made money getting pond-lily roots and selling them to people
-who wanted to raise pond-lilies in a tub in their gardens. But that was
-n't why he said it.
-
-"Why, garsh! plenty of people would want to buy them," Swatty said. "I
-guess I ought to know. I guess I've got an uncle in Derlingport, ain't
-I? I guess he ought to know about pond-lily roots, oughtn't he?"
-
-It looked like that ought to be so, because Derlingport is three times
-as big as Riverbank, and Swatty's uncle was older than any of us. But
-Bony said: "Aw! what does your old uncle know about pond-lily roots,
-anyway?"
-
-"I guess he knows plenty about them," Swatty said. "I guess if you went
-up to Derlingport to visit him you'd see whether he knows anything about
-them or not! I bet my uncle is the richest man in Derlingport, and the
-reason he is is because once, when I was out pond-lilying, I sent him
-a pond-lily root and he grew it in a tub, and when folks saw it they
-wanted to grow some too. So my uncle he rowred up the river to a
-pond-lily pond, and he got some roots and sold them. First orff he only
-got a few and sold them; but pretty soon he had a hundred men getting
-pond-lily roots for him, and he had to build a pond-lily root elevator,
-like the grain elevator down on the levee, but ten times bigger."
-
-"Gee-my-nentily!" Bony said. "Ten times bigger! Gee!"
-
-"Ho! that ain't nothing!" Swatty said. "That was when he was just
-beginning to start out. He's got ten of them elevators now, and--he's
-got almost ten trillion-billion pond-lily roots in them. He's got a
-railway switch and a steamboat dock to each elevator, and when he ships
-pond-lily roots he ships them by the trainload. Only, when he sells them
-in Dubuque or Keorkuk, he ships them by the boatload."
-
-"Gee-my-nentily!" said Bony again. "Come on! Let's--"
-
-"Well, I guess so!" said Swatty. "I guess it's no wonder he's the
-richest man in Derlingport! And I can just go and visit him any time I
-want to. I can go visit him and take a bath right in his china bathtub."
-
-"Aw! go on!" I said. "He ain't got a china bathtub!"
-
-"Yes, sir! just like a tea-cup."
-
-"Gosh!" Bony said. "Did you take a bath in it?"
-
-"Garsh, no!" said Swatty. "Do you think I'd go taking bath-tub baths
-when I didn't have to? When I visit him my uncle lets me do just what I
-want to. I don't have to wash my feet, or take a bath, or go for a cow,
-or fetch in wood--"
-
-"Who fetches in the wood?" Bony asked.
-
-"Nobody," Swatty said. "My uncle don't burn sawmill slabs or cord wood.
-He burns coal."
-
-"Well, somebody has to fetch in the coal, don't he?" I wanted to know.
-
-"Well, I guess not!" said Swatty. "He--he has a--a bridge built right
-over the top of his house, so he can run a railroad over it, and he has
-a big iron box on top of his house under the bridge, and the railroad
-hawrls the cars of coal right up on top of the roof and dumps the coal
-into the iron box, and it runs down the chimbleys right into the stove."
-Well, me and Bony didn't say nothing. We just sat there and thought what
-we thought.
-
-"And he's got a road scooped out under his house for a railroad to run
-on," Swatty said, "and there is a train of cars under the house, and
-when my uncle, or anybody, shakes the grate the ashes fall right down an
-iron pipe into the cars."
-
-"Come on!" I said. "Come on! Let's go somewhere."
-
-So Swatty looked at me; but I hadn't said he was a liar or anything, so
-there was nothing to fight about. If I had wanted to I could have said I
-had an uncle somewhere that didn't bother with dirty old coal and ashes
-at all, but had his own natural gas well and used natural gas; but my
-nose was sore yet from the last time Swatty had pushed it into my face,
-so I didn't say it.
-
-We went down to the boat-house and hired a skiff and rowed up the river
-to the pond-lily pond. The river was pretty low and it was muddy on the
-bank of the river--over knee-deep in mud. Swatty got out over the bow of
-the skiff to pull it up on the mud, so the wash from any steamboat would
-n't send it adrift, and he went in over the knees of his pants, so we
-thought we had better undress in the skiff, and we did. It felt bully to
-be undressed outdoors again.
-
-I guess you know how the lily-pond is. On one side is the railroad and
-on the other side is the river; but between the pond and the river
-is narrow sand, with willows on it--bush willows. It makes a bank all
-around the lower end of the pond-lily pond and ends at the railroad. So
-me and Bony and Swatty talked it over, and thought we'd better not leave
-our clothes in the skiff, because somebody might steal them. First we
-thought we'd hide them in the willows, and then we thought we'd carry
-them around by the sand spit to the railroad, because the pond-lily
-roots were over by the railroad more. So we did. We walked around to the
-railroad and left our clothes there, and waded in. Swatty went first.
-
-It was pretty tough. You went into the mud pretty deep, and there
-were plants that had scratch-els on them, and the lily plants and the
-arrow-leaf plants were so thick you could hardly wade. They were all
-around the shore for two or three rods, and you couldn't see over them.
-They rustled like corn when we pushed through them. But we knew there
-was a big clear place in the middle of the pond, so we waded on out
-to it. It was the place where I learned to swim. It wasn't over head
-anywhere.
-
-Well, Swatty came to the open place first, and he stopped and said:
-
-"There's somebody out there."
-
-Me and Bony peeked, and there was. Right off we saw who it was--it was
-Scratch-Cat. She was in where the water was under-arm deep, and she
-was sort of crying, she was so mad. Then we saw what she was trying
-to do--she was trying to learn herself to swim. It was enough to make
-anybody laugh.
-
-It looked like she had been at it a long time, for she was so cold she
-was shivering. We were near enough to her to see that the black spot on
-her arm was a mole and not a leaf or a vaccination, and we could see her
-shiver as plain as could be. The way she was learning herself to swim
-was this: she put her hands out in front of her and sort of jumped off
-her feet and then kicked and pounded the water and went down under. I
-guess you know how that feels. You can't get your head above water when
-you are that deep unless you stand up; so you paw in the mud, and get
-scared because you can't get to your feet. Dell Brown would come up
-scared to death, and spit and blow, and sort of cry, and shiver, and
-then she would do it all again.
-
-I guess it was pretty tough. Every time she went down she must have
-got scratched up by the weeds with scratchels on them--some kind of
-smartweed--and she was scared and chilly. It was mighty funny. I guess I
-laughed out aloud.
-
-Anyway, all at once she saw Swatty and us. She ducked like a shot, until
-only her head was out of water, and me and Bony laughed. But Swatty
-didn't. He pushed me and Bony back and said: "Hey! Scratch-Cat! Wait;
-I'll show you how to swim." Only, he said, "I'll showr you how to swim,"
-the way he always says "show."
-
-So he slid his hands out on the water and turned on his side and swam
-towards where she was. He didn't mean nothing. All he meant was to show
-her how to swim, because she would never learn the way she was trying.
-But Scratch-Cat turned and held her arms straight out in front of her
-and hurried for the shore, pushing the weeds away with her hands.
-
-Swatty kept telling her to wait, and once he came up to her, and she
-turned and hammered him with her fists, crazy mad, and he let her go on.
-The weeds must have scratched her pretty bad, ripping through them that
-way; but she got to the railway track and began putting her clothes on
-fast. So Swatty said: "Garsh! I bet she gets our clothes and hides them
-or something!"
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony hurried to where our clothes were and dressed.
-We got most of our duds on and were putting on the rest, when we heard
-somebody yelling. It was a woman, and she was over on the river road,
-across a cornfield from where we were, and she was yelling like she was
-being murdered. I was mighty scared. All I thought of was that whoever
-was murdering her would murder her and then come over and murder us.
-
-I guess Bony thought the same thing, for he got white and started to
-run down the railway bank toward our skiff. So I started after him. But
-Swatty he started to run the other way, down the bank to the cornfield,
-towards where the woman was screaming. He rolled under the bob-wire
-fence and started down between the com rows as hard as he could go. Me
-and Bony stopped and looked, and then we went after him, only slower.
-When we got deep into the com we got more scared. We didn't like to be
-so far from where Swatty was, with a woman screaming like that and being
-murdered. So I hurried up, and Bony came along, blubbering. I told him
-to shut up.
-
-We came to the edge of the cornfield and stopped. It was Miss Carter,
-our teacher, and a tramp had her by the throat, trying to make her stop
-her yelling. And just then Swatty jumped on the tramp. He had a rock,
-and he lammed at the tramp with it and hit him on the arm. So then Miss
-Carter went limp and stopped yelling, and fell in a pile on the road,
-because the tramp let go of her and she fainted.
-
-The road was all tramped up and covered with walked-on flowers Miss
-Carter had been getting; but the tramp reached around and grabbed
-Swatty and got him by the neck and began to pound his head. Me and Bony
-crouched down and looked between the boards of the cornfield fence,
-because we was too scared to run away.
-
-Swatty done the best he could, but it wasn't much use. He was getting
-killed, I guess. But all at once Scratch-Cat came a-sailing out of the
-cornfield and lit on the tramp with both hands.
-
-When her eight claws came raking down his face he let loose of Swatty
-and grabbed for Scratch-Cat; but she wasn't where he grabbed. She was
-standing away, with her hands clawed and her head sort of pointed at
-him, ready to jump again. So Swatty picked up the rock and slung it, and
-caught him in the back of the neck. He hollered like a bull and turned,
-and Scratch-Cat went at him and raked him on the side of his face. He
-lammed at her, and I guess he caught her on her brittle rib, because she
-hollered.
-
-She didn't care what happened, I guess, when he hit her brittle rib,
-so she went right at him, and Swatty made a dive for his legs and got a
-hold on them. The tramp fought good and hard. He went down, but he kept
-on fighting; and Swatty hollered for me to get a rock and whack the
-tramp on the head with it. Maybe I would have. I don't know. Just then a
-top buggy came around the bend of the road, and the tramp showed all he
-was worth and beat off Swatty and Scratch-Cat and cut into the woods.
-We heard him cracking the brush as he scooted, and that was all we knew
-about him.
-
-Well, the man in the top buggy was Herb Schwartz. So he got out and
-picked up Miss Carter and fetched her to, and Swatty told him what had
-happened. So Herb went to where Scratch-Cat was sitting on the side of
-the road, with her hand where her brittle rib had busted. So Swatty went
-over there too.
-
-"Garsh! I'd of been killed if you hadn't come!" he said. But she stood
-up and looked at him.
-
-'"What'd you come swimming at me when I was naked for?" she said, and
-she was as mad as hops. I guess her rib hurt her and made her sort
-of crazy mad, and Swatty was the first one that came near her, so she
-picked on him. "Why'd you dare?" she screeched at him. "I'll show you
-not to!"--or something like that.
-
-So she went for him. She didn't scratch, either; she used her fists. She
-fought like crazy, and got her leg back of his, and threw him and piled
-on top of him. He had to fight as hard as he knew how to, and it was all
-right, because she wasn't a girl--she was something crazy mad. It was
-a quick fight and a good one, and then Herb Schwartz grabbed Scratch-Cat
-by the shoulder and pulled her off Swatty; but that didn't matter,
-because the fight was over anyhow. Swatty had said: "Enough! I won't do
-it again!"
-
-Well, as soon as Herb had stood Scratch-Cat up, she turned white and
-fell down. She had fainted. It was a good deal of a mess-up. Miss Carter
-had got hysterical, and was laughing and crying so she couldn't put
-her hair up where it had fell down, and Scratch-Cat was stretched out
-fainted, and I guess Herb Schwartz was never so busy in his life before.
-He sent me and Bony and Swatty over to the pond-lily pond for a hatful
-of water, and while we were gone he hugged Miss Carter until she wasn't
-hysterical, because I guess that was what she needed to cure her, and
-then he soused Scratch-Cat with the water and she came around all right.
-So he took Miss Carter and Scratch-Cat back to town in the top buggy,
-and me and Swatty and Bony went back to our skiff and rowed home.
-
-Swatty was pretty quiet. I guess he thought Herb and Miss Carter would
-tell all over town how he had been licked by a girl; but he told me and
-Bony he would kill us if we told it, so we didn't. But neither did Herb
-or Miss Carter. The reason was that Scratch-Cat told them not to tell
-she had been fighting. Herb told Swatty that Scratch-Cat had asked them
-not to.
-
-After a while Scratch-Cat's brittle rib healed up again and she didn't
-have to stay in bed, and I was going down-town on an errand past her
-house, and I saw Swatty in her yard. They were playing mum-bledy-peg. So
-after that she played with me and Bony and Swatty, and pretty soon with
-Mamie Little and my sister and the other girls, and she was almost the
-one they liked best.
-
-So one day Swatty said to me:
-
-"Don't you ever darst yell at me that Scratch-Cat is my girl!"
-
-"Aw! I never yelled it!" I said.
-
-"You better not!" he said. "Because she ain't." So then I knew she was.
-
-
-
-
-VI. THE CARDINAL'S SIGNET RING
-
-Well, for about a day I guess Bony thought he was about the smartest kid
-that ever lived. Anyhow, he acted that way and the reason was that his
-house had been burglared and mine and Swatty's houses hadn't been. But
-that wasn't our fault.
-
-Swatty didn't say much because he thought maybe the burglar would come
-around and burglar his house and then he would be as good as Bony. But
-the burglar didn't go to any more houses, and me and Swatty got pretty
-sick and tired of hearing Bony bragging about the burglar climbing right
-in at his window and almost falling over his bed, and about how--if he
-had wakened up--he would have gone into his father's room and got his
-father's shotgun and shot the burglar.
-
-We got pretty sick of hearing about the reward Bony's father had
-offered, and about how the policemen came to the house and looked at
-Bony's bedroom window and everything and wrote it all down.
-
-"Garsh!" Swatty said; "it ain't nothing to brag about to be burglared!
-The way you talk you'd think nobody in the world could be burglared but
-you. If I wanted to I could write to my uncle in Derlingport and he'd
-send down a burglar to burglar my house in a minute. And he'd burglar
-Georgie's house, too. And my uncle would send down a real burglar, too."
-
-That was a good one on Bony, because the newspaper said the policemen
-said the burglar that bur-glared Bony's house wasn't a real burglar but
-only "local talent."
-
-"Well--well--" Bony said, "well, if your uncle can send down so many
-real burglars, why don't he do it, and not leave you sitting there
-talking about what he can do all the time?"
-
-"Aw! if you say much more about your old burglar I will write to my
-uncle to send some down," Swatty said.
-
-"Aw! and if you did he wouldn't get nothing! What'd he get at your
-house? I bet he wouldn't get any cardinal's signet ring."
-
-Well, I guess that made Swatty pretty mad. I guess we had heard about
-all we wanted to hear about that old signet ring, so Swatty started to
-go away, and he said to me:
-
-"Come on! he thinks there ain't nothing in the world but that old signet
-ring. I bet it was brass, anyway."
-
-But the cardinal's signet ring wasn't brass, because it said in the
-newspaper it was gold.
-
-I guess I knew plenty about that signet ring before the burglar ever got
-it, because once Bony told us about it when we were at his house and he
-would have showed it to us, only his mother would not let him.
-
-It had been in the family from generation unto generation. So when
-Bony's mother would not let us see it because her hands were in the
-dough and boys are too careless, Bony told us what it was like and said
-he guessed it was worth a million dollars, or maybe a hundred, anyway,
-because it was solid gold and had a red, carved stone in it, and the
-cardinal had given it to his son, and he had given it to his son, and it
-had always been in the family. So I said:
-
-"Aw! 't ain't so! Because cardinals couldn't give anything to their
-sons; they don't have any sons to give anything to."
-
-"Well, this cardinal gave this ring to his son, so he did," Bony said.
-"This cardinal had a son."
-
-"No, he didn't!" I said. "I guess I know about cardinals. They don't
-have any sons. They can't have sons. That's the law."
-
-Well, Bony didn't know what to say, because he knew I was right, because
-I read a lot of books and he don't. So, if it hadn't been for Swatty I
-don't know what we would have done about it. I guess me and Bony would
-have been mad at each other forever, or had a fight or something, but
-Swatty had just been listening and spoke up.
-
-"Aw!" he said; "that ain't nothing to fight about. The cardinal's signet
-ring could be an heirloom from generation to generation and the cardinal
-needn't have any son either. He could give it to his grandson, couldn't
-he?"
-
-"Of course he could!" Bony said. "That's what he did."
-
-"Sure he did!" said Swatty. "That's how all cardinals do. When they want
-to start an heirloom going they look around for a son to give it to, and
-when they haven't any sons they give the heirloom to their grandsons."
-
-Well, the burglary was about Monday of the last week of school, and
-about Tuesday we were sick and tired of it--me and Swatty was--but we
-didn't know how to shut Bony up, because we couldn't have burglars come
-to our houses just because we wished they would. So Tuesday after school
-when I went home my sister Fan was out in the side yard, where the vines
-grow on the porch, and she was down on her hands and knees.
-
-Fan had been looking pretty sick for a good while and it was because
-Herb had gone back on her, or her on him. I felt mighty sorry for her,
-even if she was my sister, and mother said she was worried and that the
-only thing to cheer Fan up would be to send her somewhere, far from the
-scene. So Fan had said she would go.
-
-So there she was on her knees in the grass and when she saw me she said,
-"Georgie!"
-
-"What?" I said.
-
-"Georgie," she said, "I lost a ring here--one with just one diamond in
-it--"
-
-"I know. The ring Herb gave you."
-
-"Yes. If you find it for me, George," she said, "I'll give you--I'll
-give you ten dollars."
-
-Well, I tried to divide three into ten, and you can't do it, so I said:
-
-"Maybe I can find it for fifteen dollars," because that would be five
-dollars apiece for me and Swatty and Bony.
-
-Fan looked at me, and then said, "Very well, find it if you can,
-please."
-
-And that wasn't like Fan, because what she would mostly say, would be,
-"You little imp, you know where that ring is! You get it this instant or
-father will attend to you."
-
-So I knew she was pretty sick about Herb.
-
-Well, as soon as Fan said that I skipped out the back way, over
-to Swatty's, and asked him for the ring, because we had had it in
-pardnership, and I had let him have it awhile. I told him what I wanted
-it for and he said:
-
-"I ain't got it. I thought you or Bony had it; I gave it to Bony."
-
-So we went over to Bony's house, and the minute we said "ring" he was
-scared stiff. "It was stole," he said. "The burglar stole it out of my
-pants pocket, but I didn't say nothing because I guessed the police
-would get it back again." So that was a nice one, wasn't it? So me and
-Swatty were mad at Bony and we wouldn't talk to him or let him play with
-us unless we got the ring back, and none of the policemen caught
-Bony's burglar. Bony's father printed a reward of fifty dollars in the
-newspaper, but my father said that whoever caught the burglar would
-n't be half as lucky if he caught him as he would if he ever got fifty
-dollars out of Bony's father, because my father would be blessed if he
-believed Bony's father had ever seen fifty dollars at one time. So maybe
-the policemen knew that. Anyway, they did not catch the burglar. I guess
-folks thought he would never be caught, and he never would have been
-if it hadn't been for me and Swatty and Mamie Little. I guess he would
-never have been caught if Mamie Little had known how to spell "sulphur."
-
-The burglar got plenty of other things from Bony's house, too, but the
-signet ring is the thing I'm telling about because it was the signet
-ring that helped Swatty to catch the burglar. That and Mamie Little,
-only Mamie Little didn't know she helped until I told her, and then she
-didn't understand any better than she did about the sulphur bag. I guess
-nobody will know unless I tell it. So I'll tell it.
-
-Thursday afternoon I went past Mamie Little's yard about five o'clock
-and she was trying to fix up a couple of old boxes to make a playhouse
-and I leaned on the fence and was glad I was there, because nobody else
-was there to see me. So I said: "Aw! that's no way to make a playhouse
-out of boxes!"
-
-"Oh, dear!" she said. "I know it ain't. I want this one on top of the
-other one but I can't lift it."
-
-"I bet I could lift it!" I said.
-
-"I know you could," she said. "Boys are stronger than girls."
-
-"If you don't tell anybody," I said, "I'll come in and lift it for you."
-
-So I went in and lifted it, and she was glad. She said it made a dandy
-upstairs for her playhouse, and she said boys were fine, because they
-were so strong. So I felt pretty good. So she took a hammer and began to
-nail some nails, to make shelves and things, and I told her girls didn't
-know how to nail, and she said she knew they didn't.
-
-So I took the hammer, and just then I saw Swatty coming. So I threw down
-the hammer mighty quick and said:
-
-"I got to go now. My mother wants me, but if you want me to I'll come
-over Saturday and we'll fix up the playhouse nice."
-
-So she did want me to; and I said I'd come and I felt gladder than I
-had ever felt before, and I dodged behind the lilac bushes and got out
-of her yard the back way, and Swatty did not see me. So that was all
-right.
-
-Well, I guess there was diphtheria or scarlet fever or something in town
-then and, anyway, my mother and lots of the kids' mothers made us wear
-sulphur bags. That was so we wouldn't catch it, whatever it was. They
-were little bags about as big as a watch, and there was sulphur in them
-and aseophidity, or asophedeta, or asofiditty, or whatever you spell it.
-
-It smells pretty rank but it keeps away whatever you might catch.
-
-Well, going to school Swatty met me and he said:
-
-"Say, let's go fishing down the Slough, tomorrow."
-
-"I can't, Swatty," I said, because I wanted to do what I had said I
-would do for Mamie Little, only I didn't want to tell Swatty that, so I
-said: "I've got to stay home and work."
-
-"Pshaw!" Swatty said, only he said it "Pshawr!" like he always does. "If
-you can't go I won't go, either! If you can't go I'm going to stay home
-and split the wood I ought to split."
-
-"Well, I can't go," I said. So we went into the schoolhouse and into our
-room. Mamie Little was there. She had just hung up her hat and she was
-standing by her desk, nearly across the room, and she looked fine, her
-cheeks were so red and her eyes were kind of sparkly. There were only
-one or two there besides us.
-
-So, while she was standing by her desk she sort of picked at her dress
-on her chest a couple of times the way I had been picking at my shirt
-front, and I was glad to think she had a sulphur bag, too, like I had.
-It was nice to think we both had the same, only she didn't know I had
-one.
-
-So I whistled a little whistle--"Wheet!"--and she looked at me. I
-guess she smiled at me. I felt mighty brave. So I started with the
-deaf-and-dumb alphabet, pointing at my eye for "I," and rubbing my hands
-across each other for "h" and I spelled out "I have a" and she nodded
-her head at each word to show she knew what I was spelling. So I spelled
-out "sulphur," because what I wanted to tell her was "I have a sulphur
-bag, too," but when I got to "sulph" she shook her head and I had to
-begin again, because she couldn't understand.
-
-I was standing up and she was standing up and she was standing so she
-looked right at me, and I spelled and spelled. Sometimes I began at the
-beginning and spelled "I have sulph" and sometimes I spelled "sulphur"
-over and over, but she just shook her head each time and smiled and
-waited. She was awfully interested, and more and more scholars came in,
-and pretty soon they were all watching me and trying to spell what I was
-spelling, but nobody did, I guess. Mamie Little got awfully interested
-and she was mighty eager to find out what I was trying to spell. Then,
-all at once, I knew why she couldn't tell; it was because she didn't
-have any sulphur bag on. So, all at once, I felt mighty cheap! There
-she was, thinking I had something awfully important I was trying to tell
-her, and she didn't have a sulphur bag, and I was making a fool of her
-before the whole school, because what would she think of me telling her
-I had a sulphur bag if she didn't have one? And making such a fuss about
-it, as if it was something wonderful like telling her her father was
-dead, or something.
-
-Then, all of sudden, I remembered I was going to her yard the next day,
-to help her with her playhouse, and I felt worse than ever. The first
-thing she would want to know would be what I had tried to spell out,
-and if I told her she would think I was crazy to make so much fuss about
-such a thing, and if I did not tell her she would be mad at me forever
-and maybe talk about me to the other girls. I couldn't bear to think
-about it and I couldn't help thinking about it. So, after school, I
-hurried away as fast as I could, and when Swatty caught up with me I
-told him I had changed my mind and that I would go fishing with him. So
-that is how Mamie Little helped catch Bony's burglar. If it hadn't been
-for Mamie Little not knowing how to spell "sulphur" I wouldn't have gone
-fishing, and Swatty wouldn't have gone either, and the burglar wouldn't
-have been caught.
-
-So Saturday morning I got in enough wood for all day and it wasn't
-much, because it was summer and the kitchen wood was all I had to get
-in. Then I hunted up a new tin can, because when we get through fishing
-we always throw the old one into the Slough, because by that time the
-worms that are left are pretty; bad. Sometimes, if the can has been
-in the sun, they are even worse than that. So I got a new can and went
-around to the other side of the barn and the spade was there yet, from
-the last time I had dug worms, so I dug some more.
-
-Just then Swatty came into the yard and he was ready to start. So my
-mother came to the back door with some sandwiches and things in a box,
-and I said:
-
-"Aw! I don't want to carry a big box like that! Aw! I just want a couple
-of sandwiches in my pocket!"
-
-"Georgie!" she said. "You take this box! You 'll be glad enough of
-everything that's in it!"
-
-Me and Swatty went up over the hill and down past the Catlic church to
-South Riverbank and we stopped at the pump on the corner and had a good
-drink and cooled off our feet in the mud under the pump spout, because
-the sidewalks were hot.
-
-The water in the Slough wasn't high and it wasn't low. Once the Slough
-ran through to the river at this end but now it was all filled in with
-sawdust from the sawmill, and a big conveyor blowpipe kept blowing more
-sawdust into the Slough from the mill, and all the surface of the Slough
-was floating sawdust. Then, a little further along, it was water-lily
-leaves. Then, further along, it was plain Slough for miles and miles and
-miles.
-
-The water was three or four feet down from the top of the bank and the
-bank was covered with pretty good grass, and all along the Slough there
-was a path worn, because kids and fellows had fished in the Slough ever
-since there was a Riverbank, and before that the Indians had fished in
-it, I guess. Everywhere, close to the edge of the bank in the shade of
-the trees, there were places worn smooth-like an old chair seat--where
-fellows had sat and fished for years and years until they were regular
-fishing places. When you saw one of them you knew it was a good fishing
-place and that there was a bent root, all worn smooth and sometimes
-almost worn in two, part way down the bank, to rest your feet on.
-
-It was all quiet and still, like a fishing place should be, except for
-the "urr-urr" of the mills away off, or the "caw caw!" of crows or, once
-in a while, somebody knocking the ashes out of a pipe against a root,
-across the Slough or a little splash when somebody caught a fish. Then
-everything would be quiet again.
-
-So me and Swatty walked along down the path, because we thought we would
-go as far as we had ever been, or farther, this time. Once we stopped
-and ate 'most all of my lunch. It was nine o'clock but we were mighty
-hungry. Then we went on.
-
-We got two or three miles down the Slough and most of the fishing places
-were empty there and I wanted to stop but Swatty said: "Aw! come on!
-Let's go on down to the point!" so we went.
-
-The point wasn't much of a point but you felt more out in the Slough
-when you were on it. There was a big water maple at the end of it, with
-fine roots to sit on, and I sat on some of the roots and fished and
-Swatty sat on some others and fished. It was good and hot and the Slough
-smelled warm and weedy and we liked it, because that was part of the
-regular fishing smell. There was just a little ripple and the corks
-bobbed up and down gently and we set our poles among the roots and just
-leaned back and felt good. Over across the Slough was another point, but
-more rounded and bigger, and it was green and cool looking, with grass
-and three big elms on it, and back in the fields a cow's bell jingled
-once in a while, and the crows cawed, and the sawmill hummed away off in
-the distance, and it got hotter and hotter. I watched my cork until
-it seemed to lose itself in the ripples and my eyes got sleepier and
-sleepier and, the next thing I knew, I woke up and Swatty wasn't there!
-Neither was my cork!
-
-The first thing I did was give my pole a yank and out came a jim-dandy
-goggle-eye sunfish, just about as good as I ever caught. I held him so
-the stickers wouldn't sting me and got the hook out of him and strung
-him on a piece of twine and I was tying the string to a root so the
-goggle-eye would be in the water when somebody down the Slough a ways
-hawked, clearing the tobacco out of his throat, and I looked around and
-saw Swatty coming back to the point, not making any noise. He held up a
-finger for me to be quiet and then he climbed out onto the roots of the
-maple and sat down.
-
-"I caught a dandy goggle-eye, Swatty," I whispered.
-
-He leaned over toward me.
-
-"Don't make any noise!" he whispered. "Bony is over on that point."
-
-I looked and I saw him. It was pretty far across the Slough and Bony
-couldn't hear us if we whispered.
-
-"Well, he can't hear us, can he?" I whispered back.
-
-"No," Swatty said and then he climbed over beside me and sat on a root.
-"There's a man down there," he said and he pointed.
-
-"I heard him spit." I whispered. I began to feel scary because there was
-n't any use for Swatty to be so whispery unless there was something to
-feel scary at, was there?
-
-"He's got Bony's father's signet ring," Swatty whispered. "Anyway, I
-guess he's got it. He's got a ring like what Bony says his father's ring
-is like. He's fishing and he's got the ring on his thumb."
-
-Well, then I knew what Swatty had done. While I was asleep he had
-sneaked down to see what luck the man was having and he had seen the
-ring.
-
-"Gee!" I said.
-
-Swatty sat awhile with his forehead wrinkled and looked at the Slough
-and he was thinking.
-
-"Garsh!" he said; "I'd like to be the one to get that fifty dollars. I
-wish I knew for certain it is Bony's father's ring. Fifty dollars is a
-lot of money. If I had it I'd put it in the bank."
-
-"What bank?" I asked him. "The Savings Bank or the Riverbank National?"
-
-"I guess maybe I'd put half in one and half in the other," Swatty said.
-"Then if one bank busted I'd have half left, anyway."
-
-"Well, if one did bust maybe you'd get some of your money back," I said.
-"My father had money in a bank once and it busted and he got part of it
-back."
-
-"That's so," Swatty said. "If I put in twenty-five and the bank busted
-maybe I'd get back fifteen of it. That would be forty dollars I'd have,
-even if the bank did bust. I'd like to have it."
-
-So we sat there awhile and the crows cawed and the cowbell jingled and
-it was quiet, but we didn't catch any more fish.
-
-"If we hadn't got mad at Bony he would be over here," Swatty said after
-a while.
-
-"Well, what if he was?" I said.
-
-"Well, he could sneak up and see if that ring is his father's ring,
-couldn't he?" said Swatty.
-
-"Well, then," I said, "why don't you call to him to come over?"
-
-As soon as I said it I knew it wasn't much to say, because it was two
-or three miles back to the end of the Slough and four or six miles
-Bony would have to go to get around to us, and he wouldn't come anyway
-because he'd think maybe we wanted to lick him or something. And if we
-shouted what we wanted him for, the burglar would hear us and would get
-away from there mighty quick.
-
-"I'm going over and get Bony."
-
-"How are you going to get him?" I asked.
-
-"I'm going to row over," he said. "You stay here and watch that man and
-I'll go over and get Bony." Well, I guessed that if he said he would,
-he'd find some way to row over whether there was a boat or not, because
-that was the way Swatty was. When he wanted to do anything he did it. So
-I looked down the Slough and I could see the end of the man's fishpole
-sticking out over the water and his cork floating and Swatty climbed
-onto the bank and took his fishpole and went up the Slough. He had to
-go pretty far before he found a boat and the boat he found was not much
-good. It was an old flatboat and one end was busted some and it was
-water-logged. Swatty had to stay away up in one end to keep the busted
-end out of water and he paddled the best he could with a piece of fence
-board. He paddled out to the middle of the Slough and stopped there and
-pretended to fish a while and then he paddled a little nearer Bony and
-pretended to fish a while longer, and then he paddled to shore near
-where Bony was and got out of the flatboat and went up to Bony. For a
-while they sat together and I guessed Swatty was talking to Bony about
-the ring and the fifty dollars and the man, and coaxing Bony to come to
-our side of the Slough and see if it was his father's ring the man had
-on his thumb.
-
-So all the time I kept looking three ways--at Bony and Swatty, and at
-my cork, and at the end of the man's fishpole--and all at once when I
-looked the man's fishpole wasn't there. It was gone!
-
-So I looked harder, but it was gone, no matter how hard I looked. So
-then I knew Swatty would give me a whale of a licking if he came back
-and found out I had let the man get away while he was fetching Bony, and
-I climbed off the root and up the bank and I was just starting to run,
-to go where the man had been, when I saw him. He was right in the middle
-of the path near where he had been fishing and he was bent down with
-his back toward me, picking up fish, because the string he had had them
-strung on had broken. He was stringing them again and as he picked them
-up I could see the ring on his thumb.
-
-Pretty soon he had all his fish strung again and then he straightened
-up and took a chew of tobacco and looked up into a tree that was right
-there, and I looked up and saw he had put his fishpole up the tree, so I
-guessed maybe he fished there pretty often, or was coming back sometime.
-So then he slouched off. I watched him.
-
-He was big but he wasn't very old. Maybe he was twenty or thirty. His
-clothes were pretty old and faded and he looked lazy in the arms and
-legs and when he walked he walked tired. He went down the path a ways
-and then he climbed over the fence there was along there and I went
-across the path and watched him from behind another tree. It was a
-ploughed field there and he walked in a furrow clear across the field to
-the road that was on the other side and climbed over another fence. So I
-climbed up on my fence and watched to see where he would go. There were
-three little houses across the road and he went into the one on the end
-toward town. So then I guessed that was where he lived and I got down
-off my fence and went back to the point.
-
-Swatty and Bony were in the boat and Swatty was paddling it as well as
-he could but it was only halfway across. Then, all at once, Swatty began
-to paddle harder. He paddled as hard as he could and then, I guess, he
-said something to Bony and Bony began to bail out the boat as fast as he
-could. Then Bony began to cry. I could hear him where I was and Swatty
-shouted at him and looked over his shoulder to see how far he had to
-paddle. Then Swatty dropped his paddle stick and began to bail with
-his hat like he was crazy. And before I could see it, almost, the old,
-rotten flatboat took a dive and Swatty and Bony were in the water.
-Bony yelled and went under but Swatty came right up, spitting water and
-kicking out with his hands. It was a good thing he was barefoot.
-
-Well, Swatty looked all around as soon as he got the water out of his
-eyes but he couldn't see Bony. So he dived for him.
-
-There's one place nobody ever swims and that is the Slough. All you have
-to do is to look down into it anywhere and you know why. All you see
-when you look down is seaweed--tons and oceans of it--all tangled and
-twisty, and old trees and branches sticking around in it to get caught
-onto. When the Slough is low you can't row on it because the seaweed
-grabs your oars and holds on like it was some mean man trying to drown
-your boat. It scares you. And all in among the seaweed are tough weeds
-and water-lily stems and water vines. There have been plenty of boys
-drowned in the Slough, I guess. So Bony had got caught in the weeds and
-vines and things.
-
-Pretty soon Swatty came to the top but he didn't have Bony, but his arms
-were covered with seaweed. He spit out water and scraped the seaweed
-off his arms and then he took his nose in his hand and dived again. That
-time he got him. He got him by one leg and he swam for shore dragging
-Bony behind him and the seaweed strung out behind Bony. His head was all
-covered with it.
-
-I was crying pretty hard, I guess. So Swatty told me to shut up and
-he turned Bony over on his back and began scraping the seaweed off his
-face, and Bony's face was scratched a good deal from the rough weeds and
-maybe from where I had dragged him up the bank on his face. I thought he
-was dead but Swatty didn't. He leaned down and listened to Bony's heart
-and said all he needed was to be pumped out. So he started to pump him
-out.
-
-Swatty got down on his knees a-straddle of Bony and took Bony's hands
-in his and pumped him the way he had heard you ought to pump a drowned
-person. He pushed Bony's arms clear back until they touched the ground
-over his head and then he drew them forward until they touched the
-ground again, and he kept right at it. Every once in a while Swatty
-would shake his head to shake the water out of his ears but he went
-right on pumping. So I stood and blubbered.
-
-Well, no water pumped out of Bony. Swatty pumped and pumped but no
-water came out of Bony's mouth and pretty soon Swatty stopped and took a
-couple of deep breaths.
-
-"Garsh!" he said; "I thought he would pump easier than that!"
-
-So he pumped him again a few times and then stopped again. It looked as
-if it wasn't any use.
-
-"I know what's the matter," Swatty said. "We've got to prime him. There
-ain't enough water in him to start unless he's primed. When our cistern
-is low at home we have to prime it before the water starts pumping up,
-and that's what we've got to do."
-
-Well, I guessed that was so. Our cistern pump was that way too. So I
-took my bait can and washed it out good and clean and got a can of water
-and I primed Bony. I poured a little water in Bony's mouth and Swatty
-pumped.
-
-"Prime him some more," Swatty said.
-
-So I primed him some more. It didn't seem to do any good.
-
-"Aw, prime him a lot!" Swatty said, so I poured all the water I had in
-the can into Bony's mouth and went and got some more.
-
-"Keep on!" Swatty said. "He'll start pretty soon. We've got to get the
-water pumped out of him."
-
-So I was priming Bony again when somebody behind us said:
-
-"What are you trying to do to that boy?"
-
-I looked around, and Swatty looked around. It was the man with the ring
-on his thumb.
-
-"He's drowned," Swatty said, "and we're trying to pump him out."
-
-The man took ahold of Swatty's shoulder and threw him almost into the
-fence. He stooped down and grabbed Bony and threw him across a big maple
-root, face down, and began to pump and pretty soon Bony began to pump
-out. The man pumped him pretty dry and then he put him in the sun and
-began to rub him good and after a while Bony opened his eyes. To see him
-open his eyes was one of the best things I ever saw. I was mighty glad I
-had helped to undrown him.
-
-Bony was pretty much wilted. Me and Swatty didn't know how we would ever
-get him home but we didn't have to.
-
-"About one more can of water in this kid and he would have been gone for
-good," the man said. "Now, you help him onto my back and I'll get him
-home for you."
-
-We got Bony onto his back and Bony hung around his neck and the man held
-Bony's legs under his arms. He climbed the fence with him that way and
-started off across the ploughed field and me and Swatty went after him.
-We didn't even think about taking our fishpoles along. We went across
-the field and the man stopped at his house and called his mother and
-she gave Bony some whiskey in hot water while the man went over to a
-farmer's house and got a team and a wagon. So, while he was gone Swatty
-said to Bony:
-
-"Is it?"
-
-He meant the cardinal's signet ring, and was it it.
-
-"Yes, it's it," Bony said, but not very loud. He was pretty much drowned
-yet.
-
-So we all went back to town in the farmer's wagon; me and Bony and
-Swatty and the man and the farmer kid that was driving. So Swatty sat
-with the farmer kid and talked to him.
-
-"That man saved Bony's life," Swatty said. "Who is he?"
-
-"Him? He's Lazy Joe," the farmer kid said. "He's Lazy Joe Mulligan. He
-don't do nothing but fish and loaf."
-
-So then Swatty knew who the burglar was.
-
-We drove up to town and Swatty told the farmer kid where to drive and
-pretty soon we came to Bony's house. The man, Lazy Joe Mulligan, looked
-pretty funny, you bet, when we drove right up to the house he had
-burglared. He put his hand in his pocket and when he pulled it out the
-ring was gone.
-
-"Come on!" Swatty said to me.
-
-"Where to?" I asked him.
-
-"Down to Bony's father's to get that fifty dollars," Swatty said. So we
-went.
-
-Well, I guess we forgot to tell Bony's father about Bony being drowned
-and pumped out. We just told him we had the burglar up at his house and
-that we wanted the fifty dollars, and he rushed out and up the street
-and got a policeman and hurried to his house. Lazy Joe was there yet,
-telling Bony's mother how he had pumped Bony out, but the farmer kid was
-n't there, because Bony's mother had sent him down to get Bony's father.
-She wanted Bony's father to give Lazy Joe five dollars or something for
-pumping Bony out.
-
-Then me and Swatty and Bony's father and the policeman came in and
-Bony's father was saying: "Officer, arrest him! He's the man that stole
-my property," while Bony's mother was saying: "Edward, give him five
-dollars or something! He's the man that saved your son's life."
-
-"How is that?" asked Bony's father, and he was pretty much mixed; "I
-thought this was the burglar."
-
-"He is the burglar," said Swatty. "He's got the cardinal's ring in his
-pocket right now. I seen it, and Georgie seen it, and Bony seen it."
-
-Then Lazy Joe didn't know what to say. Then he said:
-
-"I'll give everything back."
-
-So that was how they fixed it. Bony's father saved fifty-five dollars.
-He saved the five dollars he ought to have given Lazy Joe for saving
-Bony's life and he saved the fifty dollars he ought to have given
-Swatty. So all me and Swatty knew next was that we were out on the
-street and we didn't have anything to show for catching the burglar. All
-we had was what Bony's father said. What he said was:
-
-"Get out of here, you little rats! Be thankful you haven't my child's
-death on your shoulders!"
-
-Well, I was going, but Swatty stood right there.
-
-"No, sir!" he said. "I won't go. You can cheat us out of fifty dollars
-reward, maybe, but you've got to give back the diamond ring this burglar
-has that belongs to Herb and Fan. You got to give that back, because it
-ain't yours."
-
-"Have you got a ring like that?" the policeman asked Lazy Joe.
-
-"Yes," he said, and he took it out of one of his pockets. So Swatty took
-it and we skipped out. We went right over to my house, because it was
-dark by now, and I went to Fan and told her we had her ring for her. I
-didn't know what I would say when she asked me where I got it, but she
-didn't ask. She just went to her drawer and got out fifteen dollars and
-gave it to me and didn't say anything. Only when I went out of the room
-I heard her bed creak sudden, and I knew she had sort of thrown herself
-down on it, broken-hearted, like in a novel.
-
-
-
-
-VII. THE HAUNTED HOUSE
-
-Well, it looked like that vacation would be a sort of nice one--at the
-beginning of it, anyway--because Fan had taken mother's advice and gone
-over to Chicago to visit Aunt Beatrice, and Mamie Little had gone down
-to Betzville to be on her uncle's farm awhile, because it would do her
-good.
-
-When Fan went she went in a closed carriage as far as the depot, because
-she was so pale and peaked she didn't want anybody to see her and have
-Herb hear of it. She sent him his ring back, I guess, before she went.
-
-I thought it was pretty mean that Fan had to be mostly sick like that,
-while Herb was as well as ever and having a good time with Miss Carter,
-as far as I knew, but it wasn't any of my business. Mother said she
-guessed Fan would get over it, because she was young yet and, goodness
-knew! there wasn't so much difference between one man and another, but
-that if people like Bony's mother didn't stop coming over and talking
-about it she would go mad. And I guess that was so because Bony's mother
-is some talker. I 've heard her talk.
-
-I heard her talk about Fan one day, and it made me sick. And then she
-talked about Bony, and it made me sicker.
-
-I was sitting on the edge of our porch waiting for Swatty and Bony. I
-was tying a piece of salt pork on the bottom of my foot to keep from
-getting the "lockjaw, because I had stepped on a rusty nail, and I
-thought maybe I had better scrape some of the sand out of the nail hole
-before I put the pork on, so it would heal quicker, and I was scraping
-it out with my barlow knife. That's how I happened to be sitting on the
-edge of the porch; but Bony's mother and my mother were at the other end
-of the porch. So then Bony's mother said:
-
-"No, I have never used a switch on my son. I have never struck him
-with my hand, nor has his father. We don't believe in it. We use moral
-suasion." That means they jaw Bony. They corner him up somewhere and jaw
-him until he blubbers, the way the teachers jaw the girls when they get
-too big to paddle, and then Bony's mother blubbers and makes Bony kiss
-her and say that now he will be a better and truer boy and keep the Ten
-Commandments and not smoke com silk any more. Or whatever it is.
-
-So my mother didn't say anything because when she thinks I need it
-she wales me good. Anyway, I'd rather be waled ten times a day than be
-moral-suasioned like Bony, and so would Swatty, and so would all the
-kids, and so would Bony. But my mother didn't say anything because
-Bony's mother was a caller and you don't fight with callers until after
-they've got you so perfectly exasperated you just have to speak your
-mind.
-
-So Bony's mother said:
-
-"Yes, indeed!" and she said it the way women say things when they 're
-being stylish. "Yes, indeed! the rod implants fear in the child, and we
-should rule by love. My child shall never know fear. The normal child
-never knows fear."
-
-Well, that's when I almost laughed out loud. Such a smarty, sitting
-there and letting on she knew anything about boys! Say, I guess she
-never was a boy! "Normal boys never know fear!" She must have thought
-she was in heaven, talking about kid angels and not about boys!
-
-Boys are always afraid of something. Even Swatty used to be afraid of
-that old witch, Mrs. Groogs. We other boys used to go across the street
-from where she lived and holler:
-
- "Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
- Lost her needle and couldn't sew!
- Old Mother Groogsy, oh!
- Lost her nee-dul and could-dent sew!
- Old Mu-uth-er Gur-roog-sy, oh!
- Lu-ost her nee-eedul and ku-uld-dent sew!"
-
-And then we'd throw clods at her shanty until she came out with a stick
-or broom--mostly it was the cane she used to walk with--and then we'd
-all throw clods at her at once and run. It made her pretty mad. But
-Swatty made her maddest. He knew a German rhyme he could say pretty
-fast, and he'd say it and she would get so mad she would shake all over.
-
-Well, one day when we were all sort of teasing her like that, and Swatty
-was with us, she came out with a sword. It was a horse soldier's sword,
-a saber, and it was so big she could hardly lift it, but she could with
-both hands, and she came right at us across the street, swinging it
-around her head. If it had hit us it would have killed us, but we ran.
-So after that whenever she came out she would have the sword, but we
-weren't afraid of her when we were together. It was when one of us
-alone had to go anywhere near her shanty. We wouldn't do it. We'd go
-'round.
-
-Well, she was one of the things we were afraid of, but the new street
-got her away from there. The new street went right through where her
-shanty was, so they tore the shanty down, and after that we weren't
-afraid of her any more, because she was gone.
-
-So this day--it was Saturday--I was sitting on the porch fixing my foot
-when Swatty came over, like he said he would. Bony was with him, but he
-waited in the alley because he knew his mother was at my house. I got
-around the corner of the house without my mother seeing I was limping
-much, so she didn't call me back, and when we got to the alley Bony was
-there all right, with a shovel he had borrowed out of their coal bin
-while his mother wasn't home. It was to go ahead and make another room
-in our cave with. I could walk pretty good, but I had to walk on the toe
-end of one of my feet to keep the heel off the ground because the nail
-hole was in the palm of my foot. We got to our cave all right.
-
-Our cave was a good one, it was the best one I ever saw anybody make.
-It was in the clay bank at the side of Squaw Creek up where there are no
-more Irish shanties or geese and where the creek bed is gravelly instead
-of sandy. We found the place one day when we were explorers, exploring
-the creek to its headwaters, only we stopped when we got to this place
-and turned pirates and began digging the cave. We didn't do much that
-day, but the next chance we got Swatty had us go up and dig again. We
-dug a little every time we went up until the hole was big enough for us
-all to get in, and then Swatty said we'd keep right on digging until it
-was big enough to live in.
-
-That was what we thought of right at first, but we forgot it. We had had
-enough cave digging, I guess. Swatty said: "Aw, garsh! come on and make
-a good cave!" but we didn't want to. We wanted to smoke com silk and
-talk and be comfortable. So Swatty went outside and climbed up the bank;
-but pretty soon he came sliding down the bank. He made the silence sign
-and motioned us to come with him. He looked good and scared. So we all
-climbed up the bank and looked.
-
-The grass and weeds came right to the edge of the bank and from the edge
-they stretched away over a big field. All around the field were trees,
-edging it in, but that wasn't what Swatty wanted us to see.
-
-Away over in one corner of the field the Graveyard Gang was playing One
-Old Cat.
-
-So that was where we were. The old Squaw Creek had turned and twisted
-until it went right into the part of the edge of town where the
-Graveyard Gang kids lived, and we had dug our cave right in a place
-where we had never dared to go. Gee, I was scared!
-
-We were always scared of the Graveyard Gang. They had to come down to
-our school, and there were a lot of them and mostly bigger than we were
-and we generally fought after school, but it was only sometimes that
-they could catch us and mailer us, because we could throw clods at them
-and then skip into our yards where we lived, and they couldn't come
-after us. But what they always tried to do was to get some of us
-cornered off and chase us out toward the cemetery way. If they got us
-out there they could surround us and mailer the life out of us. And they
-would.
-
-So me and Bony saw that our cave was a pretty good thing. If the
-Graveyard Gang got us cornered off and we had to run out their way they
-would think they had us, but we would just run and slide down to our
-cave and then we could fight them until they had enough or we had killed
-them all. So every day that we went to the cave we took up stones, and
-we dug and dug. It was a dandy cave. It was big enough to stand up
-in, and we made a stove out of old iron and made a hole up through the
-ceiling for the smoke to go out, and we had some potatoes and things so
-we could stand a long siege. We worked at it nearly all vacation. Swatty
-showed us how to make a door, and we made it and we painted the outside
-with wet clay so the door would look like the side of the bank but it
-didn't. It did some, but not much.
-
-Well, when school began again we began having clod fights with the
-Graveyard Gang again and some of them were pretty tough fights. Once,
-Swatty said, when me and Bony wasn't with him some of the Graveyard
-kids cornered him off and chased him all the way out to their part of
-town, but he dodged and went behind some bushes and got to the cave and
-hid there until night, and they never found him. So we knew the cave was
-a good thing to have. So this day I'm telling about we went right up
-the creek to our cave and the minute we got there Swatty stopped short.
-
-"Somebody has been here!" he said.
-
-The door of the cave was busted in and was off one of its hinges. Our
-stove was all kicked over and the table we had made was busted down and
-everything we had was all kicked around. We guessed the Graveyard Gang
-had found us out, so Swatty and me and Bony went to work and fixed up
-the door and mended the stove. We didn't know when they would come
-back.
-
-They came back quick enough. The first we heard was them talking at the
-top of the bank, and then all of them slid down. I guess they wanted to
-stop when they got to the cave mouth, but Swatty was in the door of the
-cave and he had his pockets full of our throwing stones, and he leaned
-out and let them have them. They yelled and slid right on down to the
-creek.
-
-Bony began to cry.
-
-Well, there were about twelve of the Graveyard Gang down there in the
-creek. They got together and talked about how they would get us and then
-they began throwing stones. I tried to help Swatty stone them, but the
-door was too narrow, and he told me to stay inside and hand him stones
-to throw. He threw as fast as he could and sometimes he hit a Graveyard
-kid and sometimes he missed, but one kid can't hardly throw against
-twelve, and pretty soon a stone hit Swatty on the forehead just on his
-eyebrow. He put up his hand to feel the place and another hit him on the
-crazy bone, and he came inside and lay down on the floor of the cave
-and hugged his elbow and rocked himself and groaned. I guess it hurt him
-pretty bad. Bony just stood and bellered: "Oh, I want to go home! I want
-to go home!"
-
-I went to the door and began to throw stones, but I was so mad I
-couldn't aim straight. Swatty sat up and rocked himself and hugged his
-elbow.
-
-"Shut the door!" he howled at me. "Come in and shut the door! Shut the
-door!"
-
-So I did. I wasn't much afraid of being hit, but I knew the door shut
-right away, so I shut it. The minute it was shut the stones hit against
-it like hail. The Graveyard Gang cheered, but it didn't do them any
-good; the little throwing stones couldn't break the door and they
-couldn't throw big ones up that far.
-
-In a little while Swatty was just rubbing his elbow and he got up and
-helped me brace the door shut with the shovel and things. His forehead
-was swelled up like an egg, but he didn't mind that.
-
-"There!" he said. "This shows it was a good thing we have a cave," and
-I guessed he was right. He went over and made Bony stop blubbering.
-He made him stop by telling him to hurry and build a fire in the stove
-because maybe we might have to stay there a week or even longer, and
-we'd have to cook potatoes to live on or else starve to death. So Bony
-forgot to cry and started to make a fire.
-
-Between the boards of our door we could see out through the crack and we
-could see that the Graveyard Gang didn't know what to do next to get us.
-Once in a while they threw a stone or two but that didn't hurt us. And
-then they did the thing that chased us out.
-
-I guess it was about five o'clock by then. We thought it was later
-because it was getting dark, but we couldn't see that there was a big
-storm coming up. It was coming up back of us and was hiding the sun. All
-at once there was thunder, and then the stove began to smoke out into
-the cave. Then the whole cave began to fill with smoke.
-
-I coughed, and me and Bony thought the wind was blowing the smoke down
-the chimney, but Swatty went to the stove and kicked the top off and
-began scattering the wood and coals over the floor to put out the fire.
-Some of the Graveyard Gang had put something over the top of our chimney
-so that the smoke would come into the cave and smoke us out.
-
-Well, that was all right. We kicked the fire out and that ought to have
-stopped the smoke but it didn't. The smoke came in worse than ever, and
-then Swatty knew what was the matter. The Graveyard Gang was filling our
-chimney with burning grass or straw or something and then stopping the
-top of the chimney so the smoke would come down into the cave.
-
-The smoke got so thick we couldn't see and we couldn't breathe. Swatty
-looked out of the door cracks and there were eight or nine of the
-Graveyard Gang down there in the creek laying for us, but what could we
-do? We couldn't stay in the cave and be suffocated to death, could we?
-So what we had to do we had to do mighty quick.
-
-Swatty threw open the cave door. He had picked up a stick and he sort
-of waved it over his head. Bony was blubbering again and I couldn't see
-very well for the smoke in my eyes, and neither could Swatty, I guess,
-but Swatty waved the stick and shouted:
-
-"Come on, now!" he shouted. "We've got 'em surrounded! Charge 'em! We've
-got 'em now!"
-
-Well, the Graveyard kids looked up at the top of the other bank and
-Swatty started to slide down the bank right at them, and me and Bony
-we started to slide down, and the Graveyard kids turned and ran up the
-creek. I guess they were scared that Swatty had seen a lot more of our
-kids coming. Anyway, they ran about half a block and then they saw there
-was just Swatty and Bony and me and that we were climbing up the other
-bank to get away, and they came for us.
-
-We didn't have much of a start. We didn't know exactly where we were.
-We ran where the running was easiest, and pretty soon we came to a fence
-and climbed over and we were in a road. We turned and ran up the road,
-and the first of the Graveyard kids was piling over the fence already
-so we just let out our legs and ran! Even Bony stopped crying. He just
-turned white and scared-looking and ran. He ran so fast he ran in front
-of us and we could hardly keep up with him.
-
-The whole Graveyard Gang was after us now, shouting and running and
-pretty soon we knew where we were--we were on the Four Mile Road because
-off in the distance we could see the big red building of the Poor Farm.
-We knew that building pretty well because it is one of the places we
-kept away from because they keep the crazy folks there. You never know
-when a crazy man will cut you open with a knife or something.
-
-We didn't have time to think of that scare then, we were so scared of
-what would happen to us if the Graveyard kids caught us. I guess we
-didn't think of the Poor Farm crazy folks at all.
-
-So pretty soon Bony began to drop back, and we caught up with him. It
-was thundering and lightning hard now and the wind was blowing the way
-it does just before a big storm--big whoofs that throw up the dust in
-thick waves and make the trees bend low down and shake the leaves out of
-them--and Bony was crying again. Swatty shouted at him, but we couldn't
-hear what he was saying, the wind and the thunder and trees made so much
-noise. I looked back and saw that the Graveyard kids were right after us
-and then--Bony fell down!
-
-He didn't fall flat. He fell half and took half a step and then turned
-and fell sideways, and when he tried to get up he couldn't. I ran a
-little bit before I stopped, but Swatty stopped short and when I looked
-back he was trying to drag Bony up again. There was an awful flash of
-lightning, one of the kind you can't see for a minute after, and then a
-bang like a thousand cannon, only keener, and a big tree at the side of
-the road just split in two and one half fell across the road. I guess
-maybe I cried a little, but I didn't stop to do it; I ran back to Swatty
-and Bony and grabbed hold of Bony's other arm and helped Swatty drag
-him.
-
-I don't know what happened to the Graveyard Gang. I guess they got
-scared of the storm and went home but we didn't think of that then,
-All we thought of was to get Bony away in a hurry. It was awful! The
-lightning and thunder were just glare, glare, glare! and bang, bang,
-bang! and no rest in between, and the wind was bending the trees almost
-down to the ground and holding them there stiff, not swaying. I was just
-bellering and yanking Bony by the arm and saying, "Oh, come on, Bony!
-Oh, come on, Bony!" over and over. Swatty was shouting at me all the
-time, but I couldn't tell what he was saying, but he pulled more at his
-arm of Bony than I pulled at mine, and then I saw he was taking him off
-the road, because there was a house right where we were and he wanted to
-get him to the house.
-
-Just when we got Bony onto the porch of the house it began to rain. It
-didn't rain down, it rained straight across, like the lines on writing
-paper, and it didn't rain a little--it rained all the rain there ever
-was or will be, I guess. The rain came into that porch like water shot
-out of a fire hose nozzle, just swish-swash against the front of the
-house and then up to your ankles on the rotten floor of the porch. And
-then, when there was a white flash of lightning I saw where we were. We
-were on the porch of the Haunted House!
-
-[Illustration: 182]
-
-All the kids knew about the Haunted House. The way I knew about it was
-because we used to go out the Four Mile Road nutting and then we used to
-see it. Anybody would know it was a haunted house just by looking at it.
-The glass in the windows was all gone and boards, any old boards, were
-nailed across the windows, and the doors were either nailed up or broken
-in and hanging crooked on one hinge. The paint was all off and the
-chimneys had toppled over and the bricks and mortar were all scattered
-down the roof and some on the porch roof. The shingles were all curled
-up and there were bare patches where they had blown off.
-
-It was a big house, two stories and a half, and there was a porch all
-across the front, but at one corner the porch post had rotted down so
-that the porch roof sagged almost to the floor there, and the rest of
-the roof was all skewish. The floor of the porch where we were was all
-dry-rotted and some of the boards were gone, and the grass and weeds
-grew up through the floor everywhere. The yard was all weeds, as high
-as a man, and tangled blackberry bushes, and at night, so Swatty and
-all the kids said, something white used to come to the windows and stand
-there, and you could hear moans. It was a haunted house all right. All
-the boys knew that and all the boys kept away from it. And there we
-were, right on the porch and the rain just drowning us.
-
-"Come on, we got to get him inside," Swatty said, and he took hold of
-Bony again.
-
-I didn't want to. It was bad enough to be on the porch of a haunted
-house or anywhere near it, but the thunder and lightning and rain and
-wind and everything made all things kind of different than on other
-days. It wasn't like real; it was like dreams. It was like the end of
-the world, when you don't think what you do but just do it; and so I
-took hold of Bony and helped.
-
-We got Bony to the front door and into the hall of the house. In there
-it was so black we couldn't see except when the lightning flashed,
-and then we couldn't see much. The rain was blowing in at the door and
-running down the hall. The old house shook and trembled. A brick or
-something rolled down the roof and thumped on the porch roof.
-
-We got Bony into a dry corner of the hall and let him sit on the floor
-and Swatty tried to feel Bony's leg to see if it was broken or what,
-and while he was doing that there came a big crash and the rain stopped
-coming in at the front door. It was the porch roof. It had blown down
-the rest of the way, shutting up the door and shutting us in. But we
-didn't know then that we were shut in. We were just frightened by the
-noise. We thought maybe the house had been struck by lightning.
-
-Well, after that it was darker in the house than ever. We didn't get the
-light from the lightning through the door any more, and we only got
-it through the cracks between the boards at the windows. We just stood
-there, me and Swatty, and Bony on the floor, and listened to the storm
-and the water swashing against the house and to the old house creaking
-and grating, and Bony moaned over his ankle and cried because of
-everything. I was just plain scared. I just stood and got more and more
-scared. I tried to listen whether the creaking and grating was the house
-or ghosts, and I listened so hard my ears seemed to reach out. I didn't
-dare to breathe. Pretty soon I was too scared for any use. I said,
-"Swatty!"
-
-"What?" he answered back.
-
-"I'm scared," I said.
-
-Well, then Bony began to beller loud.
-
-"Aw, shut up!" Swatty told him. "I'm scared, too, ain't I? Feel my
-wrist," he says to me, "it's all goose flesh, ain't it? That's how
-scared I am, but it don't do any good to beller about it."
-
-So we just stayed there. Bony held on to Swatty's ankle with one hand
-and I sort of edged over so I was close to Swatty, and we just waited,
-because that was all there was to do. So after a while the storm let up.
-It rained a little yet, but the thunder and lightning stopped. The wind
-blew some, but not so much. It was pretty dark in the house. We knew it
-must be getting toward night.
-
-"I guess we can go now," Swatty said, and I was glad of it. We boosted
-Bony up so he could hobble on one leg between us and we went to the
-front door. Well, we couldn't get out!
-
-And that wasn't the worst of it; every other way out was boarded up! We
-went all around the first floor and tried all the windows and the back
-door and they were all boarded up. We were fastened tight into the
-Haunted House.
-
-It was pretty bad going into the dark rooms, one after another, not
-knowing whether something would jump out at you, and I guess me and Bony
-wouldn't have done it if Swatty hadn't made us. But there wasn't any
-way out, and that wasn't the worst. There wasn't even a little piece
-of board to pry the boards off the windows. There, wasn't a loose brick
-or anything. Nothing but dust, and maybe a couple of pieces of paper.
-
-"What'll we do?" I asked, awfully scared. "Garsh! I don't know!" Swatty
-said. "We got to get out somehow. We'll starve to death here if we
-don't. We got to get something to pry off a board from a window."
-
-Well, there wasn't anything to pry one off with. Not down where we
-were. So Swatty said, all of a sudden:
-
-"Come on! I'm going to see if there's anything we can get upstairs."
-
-"Aw, no, Swatty!" I begged. "Don't go up there! I don't want to go up!"
-
-"Well, you don't have to, do you?" he said. "I didn't ask you to. I said
-I was going."
-
-So he went alone, and I stayed down with Bony. We were all alone in the
-dark down there and Swatty went up the stairs. He went up a step at a
-time and then stopped and listened, and then he went up another step and
-listened. Pretty soon he got to the top of the stairs and then we heard
-him going from one room to smother and feeling with his foot for a board
-or something that would do to pry our way out. Then we didn't hear him
-for a minute, I guess.
-
-Pretty soon he came to the head of the stairs. He leaned over the
-balusters.
-
-"Hey! George! Come on up," he said in a whisper. "There ain't nothing up
-here. I want to go up in the attic."
-
-Bony wouldn't go. Swatty had to come down and talk to him like a Dutch
-uncle and tell him what he thought of him, and then he blubbered while
-we were helping him up the stairs. He said it was all right for us to go
-up because if anything--he didn't say a ghost, because he was afraid
-to, but that was what he meant--jumped out at us we could run, but he
-couldn't because his ankle was sprained. But we got him up all right.
-
-We got him up and I stayed with him at the head of the stairs, and
-Swatty went and opened the attic stair door. He opened it, and then he
-stood there a second. Even where I was I could hear it. It was like a
-groan--like a long, sick sort of groan--and it was from up there in the
-attic. I turned so stiff and cold I couldn't open or shut my lips. I
-couldn't breathe. I was like ice, numb and cold all over except my hair
-pulled upward all over my head. A ghost could have come and put its cold
-hand on me and I couldn't have moved.
-
-"Oh! Oh--!" came that long moan from up in the attic. Bony stood up,
-and his ankle gave way and he fell down the stairs--all the way to the
-bottom.
-
-He stayed there, just calling out, "Swatty, Swatty!" over and over.
-
-It was dark there now, dead dark. All at once I screamed. Something had
-touched me on the arm.
-
-"Aw, shut up!" Swatty said, because it was Swatty that had touched me.
-"Shut up and don't be a baby! I've got to go up there, and you've got
-to go up with me."
-
-"Why?"
-
-"Because I don't want to go up there alone," he said. "That's why if you
-want to know."
-
-"What do you want to go up for, anyway?"
-
-"Well, you won't go up alone, will you? And Bony won't go up alone, will
-he? Somebody's got to go up and see if there's anything up there we can
-pry our way out with. Come on! That noise ain't nothin' but the wind,
-or maybe an owl, or something else." So I had to go. I made Swatty go
-first, and he went up the attic stairs real slow, and I didn't crowd him
-any, you bet! At the top of the stairs he stopped short. So I stopped
-short.
-
-"What's the matter?" I whispered. Swatty stood still.
-
-"There's something up here or somebody--something alive," he whispered
-back in terror.
-
-And there was! Between the moans I could hear it breathe, a long breath,
-like "Ah-ah!" So the next thing I knew I was down two flights of stairs
-at the front door, trying to scratch my way through the porch roof with
-my finger nails, and Bony was hanging onto my legs, and we were both
-scared stiff. I guess it wasn't so long after we heard something
-breathe in the attic, about a second after, maybe. And I couldn't
-scratch my way out. So I began to yell: "Swatty! Oh, Swatty! Come here;
-why don't you come here? Oh, Swatty, come!" And Bony yelled too. We both
-did. I guess we both cried, we were so scared and frightened and afraid.
-Shut in a haunted house like that and something moaning and breathing in
-the attic! Anybody would be scared. Anybody but Swatty.
-
-Afterward, the next time we got together after Bony's ankle was well and
-after the manager of the Poor Farm had given us each a watch and chain
-for what we did, Swatty said he wasn't scared when he heard the groaner
-breathe, because he had heard his folks's cow when it had the colic, and
-that was the way the cow groaned and breathed when it had it. Anyway,
-when I ran away from him and left him alone he stood and listened, and
-then he went up the last step and listened again. It was black up there.
-So he said, "Who's there?" and waited and the groaning kept on. So he
-walked right over toward where the groaning kept coming from. He walked
-slowly, pushing one foot ahead of him and holding out both hands,
-because the floor might not be all there, and all at once his foot hit
-something hard and cold. He was barefoot, like all of us.
-
-It might have been a snake. It might have been anything, for all Swatty
-knew, but he bent down and felt it with his hand. I wouldn't have done
-it for a million dollars, and Bony wouldn't have done it for ten million
-dollars! No, sir! So at first Swatty thought it was an old scythe blade
-somebody had left there, and he was mighty glad anyway, because it would
-do to pry the boards off a window and let us out, but when he tried to
-pick it up it was held onto.
-
-Well, I guess I might as well say it right out. It was a sword, and it
-was Mrs. Groogs's sword, and it was old Mrs. Groogs that was holding
-onto the other end of the sword and lying there and groaning and
-breathing! It was her son's sword, and he had been killed in the war
-Grant and Lincoln and Swatty's father had been in, and when she ran away
-from the Poor Farm and they couldn't find out where she had gone, that
-was all she took and that was where she went to die--there in the attic
-of the Haunted House. She went there because she was kind of crazy and
-thought the mother of a son that had died for his country oughtn't to
-die in the Poor House. But she didn't die in it, either, because the
-Woman's Relief Corps rented a room for her and the city gave her Outside
-Support again.
-
-So if it hadn't been for us Mrs. Groogs would have starved to death in
-the Haunted House, and if it hadn't been for her and her sword maybe we
-would have starved to death in it. So I guess it was all right.
-
-So that time none of us got licked when we got home. Swatty didn't
-because his father was a G.A.R. and Mrs. Groogs was a G.A.R.-ess, and I
-didn't because my folks were glad I hadn't been struck by lightning, and
-Bony didn't because his folks were moral suasion. They jawed him.
-
-
-
-
-VIII. WASTED EFFORT
-
-Well, a good many things happened that vacation. Fan stayed over
-at Chicago and Herb Schwartz began studying to be a lawyer in Judge
-Hannan's law office. Miss Carter went off to a school somewhere but I
-don't know whether she was teaching or learning. Mamie Little was down
-at Betzville, on a farm, and Lucy never did tag along with us anyway, so
-it looked as if me and Swatty and Bony was going to have one of the
-best vacations we ever had. We used to go up to our cave and work on it.
-Scratch-Cat went with us mostly, but we didn't count her for a girl. So
-it looked pretty good.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony liked vacation because we never did have time to
-do all we wanted to do when school kept. What we wanted to do most was
-to finish up our cave in the clay bank up Squaw Creek. The Graveyard
-Gang had chased us away from it, but that was all right when vacation
-came because the Graveyard Gang kids all have to go to work when school
-is over. Some of them work for the farmers on the Island, and some work
-in the sawmills. So we went up and looked at the cave.
-
-The cave was all right. The Graveyard Gang had fixed up the door and
-made it look better, and the stove was there, and they had made another
-room to the cave, in behind, only it wasn't all dug out yet. So me and
-Swatty and Bony and Scratch-Cat thought we would finish digging the new
-room and then, maybe, we would get a Gatling gun or something and put it
-in the cave, so we could hold the fort when school began again and the
-Graveyard Gang tried to chase us out again. Swatty said maybe his uncle
-would give him a Gatling gun for his birthday if he wrote to Derlingport
-and asked him. So me and Bony thought that sounded good, and we went
-ahead and dug at the cave.
-
-Well, it looked like we was going to have the best vacation we ever
-had. I guess we ought to have known that when everything looked so
-bully something was going to spoil it all. It was too good to be right.
-Swatty's mother's cow went dry, and Swatty didn't have to go home early
-to get her from the pasture so he could deliver the milk around to the
-neighbors, and that was too good to be right; and Bony sort of stopped
-bawling at every little thing, and that wasn't like him. We ought to
-have knowed something was going to happen.
-
-It was too nice. Most always, in vacation, my mother made me and my
-sister wash and wipe the dinner dishes at noon, and it didn't do any
-good to drop plates and break them, or whine, or get a bad headache all
-of a sudden; I had to wipe. There ought to be a law so boys couldn't
-wipe dishes, but there ain't; so about all I could ever do was to wipe
-them as mean as I could and leave the butter between the tines of the
-forks when my sister didn't wash it all out.
-
-Well, when this vacation came I thought I'd have to start in wiping the
-doggone dishes again; but I didn't. My mother got back the hired girl we
-had off and on. Her name was Annie Dombacher and she was a strong girl
-and a happy one, and she didn't care any more for work than shucks. She
-could wash and wipe dishes and enjoy it, so maybe she was crazy; but
-what did I care if she was? She pitched in and even carried in her own
-wood, and made a jar of cookies every two days. I thought it was bully.
-I ought to have knowed better. I ought to have knowed that mothers
-don't get hired girls that will carry in the wood and everything unless
-they've got something mean they are going to do to a fellow pretty soon.
-
-The first thing that happened was Bony. Me and Swatty had got so we
-didn't hardly think of Bony as a cry-baby any more, and here all at once
-he was different. He used to come yelling and "yoo-ooing" to meet us,
-and then one noon he come sort of sneaking, like a dog you've told to go
-home and thrown a stone at. He come up to us, mighty quiet and looking
-pretty sick, and didn't say nothing.
-
-"What's the matter, Bony?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Nothing. You 'tend your own business, can't you?" he answered back.
-
-But it wasn't scrappy the way he said it; it was whiny.
-
-So I started to say something, but Swatty stopped me.
-
-"Aw! let him be!" he said. "If he wants to be a whine-cat let him be
-one. What do we care?"
-
-So we let him. He came along to the cave with us and dug; but he didn't
-seem to have no fun. It wouldn't have taken much to make him blubber. He
-acted ashamed, that's what!
-
-Well, that was one day, and the next morning he was just as bad. We
-teased him some that morning, but he took it and never jawed back. Then
-he went down to the creek to get a drink, and me and Swatty talked
-about him. Bony's father and mother fought a good deal with their jaws
-sometimes, like when we thought Bony's father was going across the
-river to kill himself and we went to keep him from it, and me and Swatty
-decided there must be a big fight going on at Bony's house, because that
-always makes a fellow feel cheap and mean. So we said we wouldn't tease
-him about it. So Bony came back and we dug awhile and went home to
-dinner.
-
-And the next thing was that Mamie Little came back from Betzville and
-began playing with Lucy and Toady Williams again, and that made me feel
-mean. And then Fan came back from Chicago.
-
-So, one day after dinner I had to go for an errand for my mother, and
-when I came back Swatty and Bony hadn't come yet, but Mamie Little
-was at our house waiting for my sister. She was on the front terrace
-braiding the grass where it was long. So I picked some grass and made a
-ball of it and threw it at her and she said to stop, and I got some more
-and was going to throw it at her, and I felt pretty good, because she
-said: "Oh, George! now don't!" but just then my father came out of the
-house, so I stopped. I had thought he had gone already. I stood and
-didn't do anything until he went by, and then I happened to think I had
-left my nigger-shooter on my bureau in my room and I went to get it.
-
-I went into the house and up the stairs on the jump and busted into my
-room, and then stopped mighty short because my mother was in my room.
-She was at my bureau and had a drawer pulled out and was taking out some
-of my clothes. So I grabbed my nigger-shooter off the bureau and was
-going to go mighty quick, because mothers always think of something for
-you to do when they see you.
-
-"George," she said, "you are going over to your Aunt Nell's to stay a
-week or two. I'll get your clothes all ready, and I want you to be a
-good boy while you're there and be as little trouble as possible."
-
-"Aw, gee!" I said. "What do I have to go over there for?"
-
-It made me sick, because Aunt Nell is always trying to do right by
-me when I'm over there and combing my hair and making me wash my feet
-before I go to bed and everything. So I said:
-
-"Aw, gee! I don't want to!"
-
-My mother went right on taking clothes out of my bureau.
-
-"I'm going to tell you something, Georgie, and then perhaps you will be
-more reasonable. You and Lucy are going to Aunt Nell's because there
-is a little new baby coming here. Now, will you be a good boy and say
-nothing more?"
-
-"Yes'm," I said, and I got out of the room pretty quick. I tiptoed down
-the stairs and stood at the bottom. I didn't know whether to go out
-or not. Bony and Swatty were out there now, and Mamie Little and
-Scratch-Cat, and I didn't know how I would dare talk to them. I sort of
-felt like they would see it in my face. If they did I would feel so mean
-I'd die.
-
-I guess you know how a fellow feels about it. Any fellow would almost
-rather go to jail than have a baby come to his house. The fellows yell
-at him, "Aw, Georgie, you got a baby at your house." And he knows it is
-so and he can't tell them they're liars.
-
-But just then my mother came out of my room and said: "Georgie!"
-
-So I got out of the front door in a hurry. I was afraid she was going to
-say something about it again. Women don't know any better; they'll say
-anything right out and think it is all right and don't care how a fellow
-feels sick to hear it. So I skipped. I went down to the front gate, and
-Swatty and Bony and Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat were there. Bony was
-off to one side, looking sick, and Swatty was "Awing" at Mamie Little
-about something, but I felt too mean and cheap to "Aw!" back at him,
-like I ought to have done. I let him "Aw!" I got as far away from Mamie
-Little as I could and went over and sat by Bony and Scratch-Cat.
-
-Well, all at once I guessed maybe I knew what was the matter with Bony,
-because I felt just like the way he had been acting. So I said:
-
-"Say, Bony, are you going to have a baby at your house?"
-
-He got sort of red and didn't dare look at me. Then he began to cry,
-mad-like.
-
-"I don't care!" he blubbered out. "If you tell anybody I'll lick you,
-I will, I don't care who you are! I'll--I'll shoot you. I'll kill you!"
-Scratch-Cat didn't laugh. She just said, "Oh!" So I knew that was it. So
-just then Mamie Little called out, "Oh, Georgie." But I just hollered,
-"Aw, shut up!" So I said: "Aw, come on, Swatty, let's go up to the
-cave."
-
-Well, just then my sister came out of the house. She had on a clean
-dress, and she came hippety-hopping down the walk as happy as could
-be and happier. She came right down to where Swatty was teasing Mamie
-Little, and she said:
-
-"Mamie! Mamie! What do you think? We're going to have a little new
-baby!"
-
-Well, I got up and climbed over the fence and ran. I don't know how I
-ever got over a fence so quick--pickets and all--but I did, and I ran
-up the street with my hands over my ears. I knew Swatty knew and Mamie
-Little knew and that they were thinking: "Ho! Georgie is going to have a
-new baby at his house." And I was trying to run away. When I came to the
-corner I dodged behind it, and stopped.
-
-Almost right away Bony came and Swatty came right after him, and
-Scratch-Cat after Swatty, but we made her go back again. We didn't want
-any girls around at all. Swatty was almost as sore as me and Bony was.
-He just threw himself down on the grass and said, "Garsh!"
-
-"Well, you don't need to go and blame me," I said. "I ain't the only one.
-Bony's going to have one at his house, too."
-
-So then Swatty sat up.
-
-"Aw, garsh!" he said. "You and Bony's always spoiling all our fun. I
-ought to have knowed what was the matter with him, and now you 'll be
-the same way. You bet I don't have no babies coming to my house, making
-everybody grouchy. But you and Bony don't care; you don't care how you
-spoil the fun."
-
-Bony didn't say anything, but it made me mad. "Well, it ain't my fault,
-is it?" I asked. "I don't want no baby to come to my house, do I? I
-didn't order it from the doctor, did I?"
-
-"What doctor?" Swatty asked. "What has a doctor got to do with
-it?"
-
-"Well, a doctor brings it, don't he?" I asked.
-
-"No, he don't!" Swatty said. "A stork brings it."
-
-"My mother told me so a million times, and I guess she knows, don't she?"
-
-"Aw! That's in Germany," I said. "I know that, I guess. In Germany a
-stork brings it, but how can it in the United States where there ain't
-no storks? Did you ever see a stork in the United States?"
-
-"Well, no," Swatty had to say, because he didn't. "Well, you've seen
-plenty of doctors in the United States, haven't you?" I asked.
-
-"Yes," Swatty had to say, because he had. He saw Doctor Miller almost
-every day, starting out or coming back with his old gray mare. He was
-our doctor and Bony's folks' doctor, but Swatty's folks had Doctor
-Benz, because they were German and water-curers. Doctor Miller was a
-big-piller. So Swatty had to say yes.
-
-"Well," I said, "don't that prove it?" Of course it did. Swatty had to
-say it did. So he said:
-
-"Well, garsh! if doctors bring them in the United States I guess I would
-n't be sitting around whining if I was you and Bony. I know what I'd
-do!"
-
-"What would you do?" I asked.
-
-"I wouldn't let a doctor bring any, that's what I wouldn't do," said
-Swatty. "I'd find out what doctor was going to bring it, and I'd fix him
-all right, you bet your boots!"
-
-"Well, Doctor Miller is going to bring them, if anybody does," I said.
-"He's our doctor and he's Bony's doctor, ain't he? What can me and Bony
-do, I'd like to know?"
-
-"Well, I could help you, couldn't I?" Swatty wanted to know. "I would
-n't have to go back on you just because Doctor Miller isn't our doctor,
-would I?"
-
-"Well, what would we do, then?" I asked, but you bet I felt a whole lot
-better; if Swatty was willing to help us it was different. He was a good
-helper. Bony looked better, too.
-
-Swatty pulled a handful of grass and fooled with it and I could see he
-was thinking mighty hard.
-
-"We've got the cave, ain't we?" he said after while. "Well, then, all
-we've got to do is to get Doctor Miller and put him in the cave and keep
-him there, and then he can't do anything about it, can he?"
-
-Of course that was so. I wouldn't have thought of it, and Bony would
-n't, but Swatty thought of it in less than a minute. But right away I
-thought of how hard it would be to do. If Doctor Miller had been a kid
-it would have been easy, but he was a man and he was a mighty big man,
-too. He was bigger around than any man in town, I guess, and almost as
-tall.
-
-I asked Swatty, and he said of course we couldn't grab Doctor Miller and
-push him a mile or so out to the cave and boost him up the clay bank and
-into the cave.
-
-"We've got to think out a plan," he said, only he said "plam," like he
-always does, and "gart," instead of "got." So we thought, and it wasn't
-any use. So Swatty said we might as well go out to the cave and do some
-work and think out there. So we went.
-
-The more I thought the more I couldn't think of anything. All I could
-think of was how big Doctor Miller was, and I guess Bony thought the
-same thing. I thought of his whiskers, too.
-
-You 're always kind of scared of a doctor, almost like you're scared
-of a minister. They ain't like common folks. Common folks are just men,
-except when they are your fathers; but ministers and doctors are men and
-something else, and Doctor Miller was more doctory than any other doctor
-in town. That was why so many folks had him. He had red-brown whiskers
-and nothing on his chin or upper lip, and his whiskers were not stiff
-and tough like whiskers generally are, but smooth and silky and fluffy.
-He laughed a lot, too, and was always smiling, but he knew all about
-your insides better than you did. It is creepy to see a man smiling so
-much and feel that he knows more about you than you do yourself. And so
-you were mighty scared of him.
-
-Well, we didn't think of anything, and I went home feeling pretty mean
-and went in the alley way and my mother was keeping supper for me and
-had my things and sister's all ready for us to go over to Aunt Nell's
-and after supper she kissed us and we went. She gave me a dollar and she
-gave Sis fifty cents, and she hugged us a long time before she let us
-go.
-
-The next morning Aunt Nell started right in on me. She made me go
-upstairs and brush my hair again and looked at my finger nails and in my
-ears, and then said I didn't look as well as usual and wanted to know
-if I slept well. I got away as soon as I could and went up to the cave.
-Swatty and Bony was there already, digging at the roof of the back room
-of the cave.
-
-"What you doing that for?" I asked. "If you dig up there much more the
-roof will bust through."
-
-"Well, ain't that what we want it to do?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Why do we?" I asked back.
-
-"You come on and help us work," he said, "and I'll tell you why."
-
-So I helped them work and Swatty told me he had thought of a bully plan.
-I wouldn't have thought of it in a thousand years. I had stayed awake
-all night--or anyway almost half an hour--trying to think how we could
-get Doctor Miller into the cave, and all I could think of was grabbing
-him somehow and tying ropes to him and yanking him up to the door of the
-cave, and I knew we couldn't do it, because we weren't strong enough.
-But Swatty had thought it all out, like he always does. I might have
-known he would.
-
-We went ahead and dug at the roof of the cave, and pretty soon we dug
-through to daylight. It took us all day and the dirt we got we spaded
-into the tunnel between the two rooms and filled it up good and solid,
-except a short way out of the front room. The next day we worked hard,
-too. We dug out more of the roof of the back room, and then worked on
-the door of the cave so we could fasten it up sound and quick when we
-got the doctor in it. We took the stove out and everything else he could
-use to dig with, and when we had to go home for supper we had it all
-ready. Swatty said so.
-
-Well, all of us knew Jake Hines, the doctor's hired man, and he was
-foreman of Fearless Hose Company No. 2, and every night he went over
-to the hose-house and played cards after he got his work done at the
-doctor's. I went to bed about nine o'clock, but I left my clothes on,
-and when I thought it was midnight I got up and went downstairs and went
-out into the alley. Swatty was there already, sitting in the shadow of
-Doc Miller's manure box, but Bony hadn't come, so we guessed he was a
-'fraid-cat and didn't dare. So we went ahead without him.
-
-The doctor's old gray mare was standing with her head at the little
-square window, and Swatty got on the manure box and climbed in. He
-opened the stable door and I went in after him. The old mare looked
-around at us, but she didn't make any trouble, and Swatty untied the
-halter strap and we led her out into the alley. We led her across the
-public square, and down into the creek and then up the creek to where
-our cave was. She came right along as easy as anything and we got her
-up the bank and to where we had caved in the roof of the back cave. She
-didn't want to go down there. I guess she thought it was kind of funny
-to be taken into a hole like that, but a doctor's horse is used to being
-out at night and to going into all sorts of places, and at last she set
-her front feet and slid down. It was pretty steep, but she went down
-easy. Swatty tied the halter strap to one of her front feet and we left
-her there.
-
-We went back home and I went to bed. I was pretty scared. I thought the
-doctor would get up in the morning and see his mare was gone and would
-get a lot of people and police and there would be crowds hunting the
-mare. I had pretty bad dreams. I dreamed I was hung about eight times
-for horse stealing.
-
-When I got up in the morning I was mighty sick of it, you bet. I made
-up my mind I wouldn't do any more, no matter how many babies the doctor
-brought to our house. I would stay at Aunt Nell's and let on I didn't
-know anything about gray mares or anything. I was through.
-
-So about nine o'clock, Swatty came to Aunt Nell's to get me, and he was
-just hopping, he was so tickled.
-
-"Garsh!" he said. "It's better than I ever thort it would be. I came
-through the alley and Jake Hines was sitting on the manure box waiting
-for the mare to come home. And what do you think?"
-
-"What?" I asked.
-
-"He said he would give me a quarter if I found the mare," Swatty
-said. "He said he guessed he had left the stable door open and she had
-wandered away and maybe she would come back, but if I hunted around
-and found her and brought her back he would give me a quarter. So I'm
-hunting around for her."
-
-Well, I didn't feel so bad. Bony came and said it wasn't because he was
-scared that he didn't come out last night, but because he had gone to
-sleep and hadn't waked up. So Swatty talked some more and we all felt
-fine. We seen it was bully. So I took my dollar, like we had fixed it
-for me to do, and I bought some bread and some butter and some things
-to eat while Swatty and Bony went out to the cave. We didn't want Doctor
-Miller to starve to death while we had him locked in the cave because
-that would be murder. So I took what I had bought to the cave and we put
-it where the doctor could see it, and then we went down to the doctor's
-house. It was about ten o'clock. We went to the front door and rung the
-bell and Mrs. Miller came to the door.
-
-"Is Doctor Miller at home?" Swatty asked.
-
-She said he was, and Swatty told her we had found his horse, and she
-said she would tell him. He came right out. He looked sort of jolly and
-he said: "Well, boys, I suppose you are looking for a reward. Did you
-bring old Jenny home?"
-
-"No, sir," Swatty said. "We would of but we couldn't. We couldn't get
-her out of the hole."
-
-So he wanted to know what hole and Swatty told him. He told him we had a
-cave up the creek and that it looked like the old mare had walked on top
-of the cave and fell through. He asked if she was hurt and we said she
-wasn't, we guessed, but she wouldn't come out for us. He got his hat.
-
-"Come on," he said; "I'll see about it."
-
-Well, he took us out the back way to the stable and yelled for Jake, and
-Jake came.
-
-"Jake," he said, "these boys have found Jenny, and she's fallen into a
-hole and they can't get her out."
-
-"All right," Jake said; "I'll go with them."
-
-You could have knocked me over with a feather. We hadn't thought of
-that. The doctor started to go back to the house. Then he stopped.
-
-"Just wait a minute," he said. "I think I'll go with you. If the mare is
-hurt, I may be able to attend to her right there."
-
-When the doctor came out with his medicine case we started, and me and
-Swatty pretended to be eager to hurry up. Bony sort of held back behind.
-The doctor talked to us a lot. He was sort of happy and good-natured
-about it, like fat men are, and joked some how far it was. We took him
-out the Graveyard Road and down into the creek bottom and showed him the
-mouth of our cave up the bank.
-
-"Well, well," he said. "This is mountain climbing indeed! If I had much
-of this to do I'd be a smaller and a better man."
-
-He made me carry his medicine case so he could use both hands, and I
-went first. Then Jake came and then the doctor, and then Swatty and then
-Bony. When we got to the door of the cave I stopped and Jake looked in.
-
-"Where's the mare?" he said. "I don't see no mare."
-
-He turned to look back and the doctor was just behind him, panting
-pretty hard.
-
-"What?" the doctor asked, and he stepped up. I started to say it was the
-back cave the mare was in, but just then the doctor bumped against me
-and went sort of down on his knees. It was as dark as pitch. Swatty had
-slammed the door shut against the doctor and jolted him into the cave,
-and me and Jake with him. I heard Swatty fastening the cave door, and
-there we were--me and the doctor and Jake. We were locked in the cave.
-
-I was the first one to know what Swatty had done, and I pounded on the
-door and hollered for them to let us out, but they didn't do it. Jake
-was just standing and saying:
-
-"I'll be dumed! I'll be dumed!"
-
-"What does this mean?" Doctor Miller asked.
-
-I didn't know what to say, I was so scared. But I didn't have to say
-anything. Jake said it.
-
-"I know mighty well what this means, Doc," he said. "This is some of Tom
-Foley's work, this is. He's been trying to get me out of the foremanship
-of Fearless Hose No. 2 for the last three years, and we've got the
-annual election to-night. He knows mighty well if I ain't there to-night
-he can put it over on me, and this is his game. I'm mighty sorry you got
-drug into it, Doc; but I'll make him suffer for this when I get out!"
-
-He struck a match and saw the food I had brought. He kept striking more
-matches and looking around the cave.
-
-"Yes, by Susan!" he said. "Look at the food. This is Foley's work--the
-great big mush! He thinks this is a good joke. I'll show him! Son," he
-said to me, "did Foley talk to you?"
-
-"No, sir," I said.
-
-"I knew it!" Jake said. "It's that Swatty kid. He's a terror, he is.
-Well, son, don't you mind; we'll mighty soon get out of here."
-
-I felt a whole lot better. But I guess the doctor didn't.
-
-"Get out? How'll we get out?" he wanted to know. "If your friend
-Foley fixed this up, you may be sure he did not expect you to get out
-to-night. And I've got to get out. I've got two important cases, and I
-must get out."
-
-"Oh, we'll get out, Doc," said Jake. And he lit another match.
-
-He looked at the door and tried it, butting into it with his shoulder.
-But we had fixed it dandy. It didn't give at all. It was like butting a
-rock. He tried it awhile, and then he said, but not so gay: "Well, we'll
-have to dig out."
-
-"Then, Jake, let us dig," said the doctor. And they dug. I dug too, but
-mostly I only pretended to dig. It was dark in there and you couldn't
-see, and clay isn't anything to dig with your fingers. Jake and the
-doctor had pocket knives, but you know how much you can dig with a
-pocket knife. But they had the right idea. They didn't try to dig
-through the tunnel, like me and Swatty thought they would. They dug
-around the door.
-
-Well, when Swatty and Bony had locked us in they went and sat on the
-bank across the creek to see what would happen. Nothing happened. Then
-Swatty got to thinking. He didn't worry about Jake, because Jake was a
-hired man and nobody ever knew when he would get home; but he knew my
-aunt would want to know where I was. That made him think of Mrs. Miller,
-and she would want to know where the doctor was. He was mighty worried.
-We had thought that maybe we could keep the doctor in the cave a couple
-of weeks until everything was all right, but he knew right away that me
-and Jake and the doctor couldn't live on the food I had put in the cave,
-and he knew my aunt would start out to find where I was, and Mrs. Miller
-to find out where Doctor Miller was. He was mighty worried, and he
-didn't know what to do. So he didn't do anything.
-
-It turned out like he thought it would. My aunt was mad when I did not
-come home to dinner, and madder when I didn't come home to supper, but
-when I didn't come home at all she was worried almost crazy and she
-got my father to go hunt for me. He hunted awhile, and then he got some
-other men to hunt for me, because he had to go home.
-
-They hunted all night. Along toward morning the hunters who were hunting
-for me ran into the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller. They had
-Swatty with them, because Mrs. Miller had said Swatty had come to the
-house and the doctor had gone away with him. They were trying to make
-Swatty tell where the doctor went, but he wouldn't. He just let on like
-he was crying and said he didn't know.
-
-Well, the hunters who were hunting for Doctor Miller had just started
-out, because Mrs. Miller hadn't got worried until toward morning,
-because she thought he was attending to his business. But toward morning
-my father and Bony's father came to his house, and it was at their
-houses Mrs. Miller thought Doctor Miller was. So she was frightened and
-got some men to hunt him.
-
-I guess I went to sleep about ten or eleven o'clock that night while
-Jake find Doctor Miller were still digging. I woke up all of a sudden
-and there I was in the cave, and the door open and men coming in and
-Doctor Miller brushing off his hands. Him and Jake had almost dug a way
-out, but the hunters had got Swatty to tell where we were. So about the
-first thing I heard was a man saying:
-
-"Where's that Swatty? Don't let him get away!"
-
-But he had got. We didn't see him for about a week. He went over into
-Illinois and got a job with a farmer.
-
-Well, all the way home Jake kept talking about Tom Foley and what he
-would do to him, and when the hunters heard it they laughed like sixty
-and said it was the best joke they ever heard. They said they would have
-to hand it to Foley--he was a dandy. So I guess they told Foley so. I
-guess he listened to them and didn't let on, only said he didn't do
-it, and of course they didn't believe him, because he had been elected
-foreman of Fearless Hose No. 2, like Jake had said he would be. So Foley
-got sort of proud of it and let them think. So me and Bony and Swatty
-never got anything, except Swatty got licked for being away for a week,
-and that was all right; it was worth it for the fun we had.
-
-But the worst of it was that all of it wasn't any use. We had gone to
-all the work for nothing. We had caved up the wrong doctor. We ought
-to have caved up Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown. Because while we had
-Doctor Miller caved up, and thought we had everything fine and dandy,
-it was Doctor Wilmeyer and Doctor Brown who were the ones all the time.
-When we got home from the cave with the hunters there was a new baby at
-our house and one at Bony's house, and they had brought them. And that
-wasn't the worst--they were both girls. So we had done worse than
-nothing, because if we had left Doctor Miller alone he might, anyway,
-have brought boys.
-
-
-
-
-IX. THE MURDERERS
-
-Well, when we came to find out about it the new babies at my and Bony's
-houses weren't near as hard to bear as we had thought they would be.
-One reason was because they came at vacation time, when we didn't have
-to go to school, and the other was that they didn't make us take them
-out in baby carriages like we was afraid they would. One thing was that
-they was too fresh yet, and the other was that they wouldn't trust them
-to such young hoodlums anyway.
-
-At our house Fan spent most of her time loving the new kid, and Lucy and
-Mamie Little didn't do much but hang around and coax to hold the baby a
-minute, and Toady Williams just hung around and waited for Mamie Little
-to come out and play. I guessed that I would never have anything to do
-with Mamie Little again, but that when I got a new girl it would be a
-different kind, like Scratch-Cat. I wished I hadn't got religion, or
-anything that I'd got because of Mamie Little.
-
-A lot of us got religion at once, because that's how you usually get it.
-It makes it easier and you don't feel so foolish going up front.
-
-Well, they had this revival at our church the winter before the vacation
-I'm telling about. When they had it I was having Mamie Little for my
-secret girl and she went up in front, so I got religion and went up in
-front too. But you see I'd ought to have waited, because it made me
-feel a lot worse about murdering a man. Or maybe it didn't. I guess
-Swatty felt almost as bad as I did. We both felt awful bad. Swatty
-didn't go to our church, he went to the German Lutheran church, and
-nobody in that church ever got religion, they just had it. At our church
-we didn't have it until we got it, and mostly we got it when there was a
-revival meeting, and that was when I got it.
-
-So, I guess it was a lot worse for me when the thing happened that I'm
-going to tell you, because I had religion and Swatty hadn't.
-
-Well, the way it happened was this way: I'm awfully croupy. I don't know
-anybody that's as croupy as I am, so they rub hot goose grease on me
-when I get to honking and then make me swallow a lot out of a spoon, and
-that was all right when I was little enough so they could hold my nose,
-but after I got big Mother said she wouldn't struggle with me another
-time, and she changed and gave me a dime a spoonful. So I took the old
-stuff because if I hadn't took it Father would have licked me, and I'd
-have had to take it anyway. So I got a dime a spoonful. So I bought a
-target rifle with the money, when I had enough, and then the rifle got
-broke and I couldn't get it fixed until my mother gave me three dollars
-because I had been such a good boy when the new baby came.
-
-So then all the kids were coming over to my yard to shoot all the
-time--Swatty and Bony and the whole lot of them--and we shot at tin
-cans and things against the barn, but we weren't any of us very good
-shooters. I guess Swatty was the best. Or maybe I was about as good as
-he was.
-
-That was all right, and I guess nobody cared anything, only Mother
-was always putting her head out of the window and saying, "Boys, do
-be careful with that gun!" So one day Swatty come over, like he always
-does, and he says, "Say! we can't shoot the rifle any more!" And I says,
-"Why can't we?" And Swatty says, "They made a law that we can't." And I
-says, "Who made a law that we can't?" And Swatty says, "The city council
-made a law that nobody can shoot inside the city limits."
-
-So I guessed they had, because that winter they had made a law we
-couldn't slide down Third Street hill, and if they made a law like that
-they might make almost any kind of a law. So Swatty says, "If we want to
-shoot we've got to go outside the city limits." And I said--I don't know
-what I said but I guess I said that was so.
-
-So, anyway, we didn't shoot in my yard any more, and that wasn't our
-fault but the fault of the city council. So that was one of the things
-we thought of after we killed the man; but it didn't seem to make us
-feel much better, like you'd think it would. I guess there wasn't
-anything could make us feel better. Nobody wants to be hanged unless he
-has to be, I guess.
-
-Well, it was vacation time, anyway, and we didn't want to shoot all the
-time because part of the time we wanted to do something else. Only when
-we wanted to go rowing on the river we took the rifle along anyway,
-because sometimes we rowed up beyond the city limits and then it was all
-right to shoot if we wanted to.
-
-So one day me and Swatty and Bony we went up the river in a skiff. We
-always hired a skiff from old Higgins because it was ten cents an hour
-or three hours for a quarter from him, and Rogers charged ten cents
-straight. So when we got into the skiff and Higgins gave us the oars he
-said, "Well, boys, have a good time, but don't shoot anybody with that
-cannon." And we said, all right, we wouldn't. We took turns rowing, like
-we always did, and pretty soon we got to the Slough, and we rowed in
-and shot at turtles awhile, and then Bony said, "Gee! the mosquitoes are
-eating me up," and they were eating all of us up, so we floated out onto
-the river and just floated. We threw the bailing can over and shot at
-it until it went down, and just about then we were going past the old
-shanty boat, and we began to shoot at that.
-
-It was up on the mud and partly sunk into it and the hull was so rotten
-you could kick a hole in it, and it wasn't anybody's anyway. Everybody
-had thrown stones at the windows in the side and broken them and nobody
-cared, I guess; but nobody had broken all the windows in the end toward
-the river, because that end was toward the river, so we shot at the
-windows. At first we couldn't hit them and we drifted below, but we
-rowed back again and in closer and then we all hit them. We hit them a
-lot of times, until they were all smashed out, and we began to say who
-had hit the most times, and Swatty said, "Let's go ashore and see who is
-the best shot. I bet I am." So we went.
-
-So we shot at cans and things, and Swatty was the best shot, and then
-nobody said anything but we just thought we'd go on the shanty boat for
-fun. We climbed up on the little front deck, and Bony was first, and
-Swatty was next, and then I come. So Bony pushed the door open and
-looked in, and he stood there looking in and didn't move, and then, all
-at once he made a sound--well, I don't know what kind of sound it was.
-It was a frightened sound. I guess it was like the sound a rabbit makes
-when you step on it by mistake. And then he turned, and his face was so
-scary it frightened me and Swatty and we turned and jumped off the front
-deck onto the railroad bank; but Bony jumped sideways off the deck and
-landed on the cracked crust that was over the mud the shanty boat was
-stuck in. He went right through the crust and over his knees in the
-mud, but me and Swatty was so scared we started to run down the railroad
-track as fast as we could.
-
-Pretty soon we stopped, because the sand between the ties was full of
-sandburs, and then we didn't know what we were running for, so we looked
-back. Bony was sort of swimming on top of the mud crust and he was
-crying as hard as he could cry, but not loud. He was trying to get away
-from the shanty boat as fast as he could, and every time he got a foot
-out of the mud and tried to step he broke through the crust again, so he
-sort of laid on the crust and bellied along. He looked like an alligator
-swimming in the mud, and he was crying like an alligator, too. Only I
-guess it is crocodiles that cry. Bony was trying to get to the skiff,
-and Swatty knew that if Bony got there before we did he would get in
-the skiff and go home and leave us. So we picked the sandburs out of our
-feet and tried to hurry, but Bony got to the skiff and got in and pushed
-off.
-
-We ran and hollered, but he didn't stop. He was so frightened that the
-oars jumped out from between the pins almost every time he pulled on
-them, and he was crying hard; but he rowed the boat pretty fast because
-he was working his arms so hard. Swatty and me hollered at him and told
-him what we would do to him if he didn't come back, but it didn't do any
-good. He was too scared. All he wanted to do was to get away.
-
-Well, we tried to throw stones at him, to bring him back, but we
-couldn't throw that far and we just stood and watched him row down-river
-as hard as he could.
-
-"Say, what do you think he saw in there?" Swatty said after while.
-
-"I don't know what he saw," I said. "What do you think he saw?"
-
-"I don't know what he saw, but I'm going to see what he saw," Swatty
-said.
-
-Swatty was always like that. If anybody saw anything he wanted to see it
-too.
-
-"I ain't afraid to see it," he said.
-
-"Well, I ain't afraid if you ain't afraid," I said.
-
-So we climbed up on the deck of the shanty house again. We climbed up
-careful and went to the door and peeked in.
-
-As soon as I had the first peek I turned, and jumped off the deck and
-started to run, but Swatty just stood and looked. I hollered at him. I
-guess I was crying, too.
-
-"Swatty! Swatty, come on! Oh, Swatty, come on, Swatty!" I hollered.
-
-He turned his head and looked at me and then he looked back into the
-shanty boat. All he said to me was, "Shut up!"
-
-I guess you know what we saw when we looked into the shanty boat. There
-was almost a whole page about it in the paper later on. He--the man--was
-lying there on the floor of the shanty boat in the broken bottles and
-straw and the dry mud that had sifted in when the river was high. He was
-lying on his face with his feet to the door and he was sort of crumpled
-up with one hand stretched out. He was dead. One side of his face was
-up and there was blood from the place in his forehead where he had been
-shot. It was on the floor.
-
-I didn't dare run away without Swatty, because I guess I was as scared
-as Bony had been, and I didn't dare go back to the shanty boat, so I
-just stood, and all at once I began to shake all over, the same as a wet
-kitten shakes in cold weather. I couldn't help shaking. I felt pretty
-sick. But most of all I was scared.
-
-I thought Swatty was going to stand there forever, looking into the
-shanty boat, but pretty soon he went inside, and that shows he's as
-brave as he always brags he is. I wouldn't have gone in for a million
-billion quadrillion dollars. In a minute he come out and he dropped off
-the end of the deck and sort of crouched low. He kept crouched low as he
-come up the railroad bank, and he crouched low when he dodged down the
-other side, so I crouched low, too, and went down the other side of the
-railroad bank. And when Swatty come up to me I saw he was scared, too,
-but he wasn't scared the way I was. I was just scared because I'd seen
-a dead man, but Swatty was frightened.
-
-There was a lot of tall ragweed and a pile of railroad ties in the
-bottom of the cut along side the railroad track, and Swatty went right
-in close to the pile of ties where the ragweed hid everything and he sat
-down there. He looked pretty frightened.
-
-"Well," he said, "we killed him."
-
-That was the first I'd thought that we'd killed the dead man; but the
-minute Swatty said it I knew we had killed him by shooting through the
-windows of the shanty boat. I couldn't shake any more than I had been
-shaking so I just kept on shaking like I had been, but I got sicker at
-my stomach. When I was through being sick Swatty he got mad.
-
-"Stop shaking like that!" he said. "We've gone and done it and we've
-got to think what we 're going to do about it. Stop shaking and help me
-think."
-
-"I c-c-c-can't stop sh-sh-sh-shaking!" I said. "I w-w-w-would if I
-c-c-c-c-could, w-w-w-wouldn't I?"
-
-"Well, you've got to stop shaking," Swatty said. "If you go shaking all
-around town like that everybody will know we did it. If you don't stop
-shaking I'll lick you!"
-
-I began to cry. I didn't cry because Swatty said he'd lick me but
-because I just had to cry. So Swatty tried to make me stop shivering.
-He took the backbone of my neck in his thumb and fingers and pinched
-it hard, because you can stop hiccoughs that way; but it didn't do any
-good. So he got madder.
-
-"What are you shaking for, anyway?" he asked. "I ain't shaking."
-
-"W-well, y-y-you h-h-haven't got r-r-religion," I said. "It's w-w-worse
-for anybody that's g-g-g-got r-r-religion to kill anybody."
-
-Well, he hauled off and hit me. He hit me in the jaw, and then he said
-what I wouldn't let anybody say about my getting religion, and I fought
-him. Then we stopped fighting and I was still shaking, but not so bad.
-
-"Yah! Little sissy boy got religion!" he said. "Little sissy boy went
-and got religion 'cause he's stuck on Mamie Little!"
-
-Well, that did make me mad! I lit into him, and we had another good
-fight, and pretty soon he said, "'Nuff!" and I stopped. So I started to
-tell him what I'd do to him if he ever said that again. I was crying, I
-guess.
-
-"That's all right," he said; "I just said it on purpose. I just said it
-to make you fight. You ain't shaking now." And I wasn't. I'd got so mad
-I forgot to shake. So, as Swatty had just said what he said on purpose,
-I didn't care. So I stopped crying.
-
-"Now you've got some sense," Swatty said. "Don't you get that way again.
-We don't want to get hung, do we?"
-
-I hadn't thought of that. Of course they would hang us if they found out
-we'd killed the man in the shanty boat, and it made us pretty sober. I
-guess I began to cry again.
-
-"Oh, shut up!" Swatty said. "If you're going to blubber all the time,
-and not try to help, I wish I'd killed that man all by myself. You shut
-up and try to help me think what to do, or I'll go and tell everybody
-you killed him."
-
-"You won't do it!" I said.
-
-"Yes, I will," he said back. "And I'll prove it on you. You didn't look
-at that man and I did, and I know what kind of a man he is."
-
-"What kind of a man is he?" I asked.
-
-"He's a tough kind," Swatty said. "And if you don't shut up your bawling
-I'll say you and him got into an argument about religion, and you shot
-him because he wouldn't come and join in with you and get it. And folks
-will believe that, because you've just got it, and there ain't any
-other reason why any of us should kill him. I haven't got religion,
-have I?"
-
-"Well," I said, for I saw Swatty could do like he said, "what are we
-going to do, anyway?"
-
-"We've got to keep from getting arrested and put into jail and hung,"
-Swatty said. "I don't know how, but we've got to. We've got to be
-careful, and not let anybody know we shot that man. If they find it out
-they'll hang us sure."
-
-"We didn't mean to shoot him," I said. "We had a right to shoot outside
-the city limits."
-
-"We didn't have a right to shoot anybody," said Swatty. "We had a right
-to see if there was anybody in the shanty boat before we shot at it.
-We'll all three be hung if they find out we did it."
-
-Well, I had an idea just then, but I didn't say it to Swatty. I didn't
-really think it, it just come. I knew as soon as I thought it that I
-wouldn't be so mean, and I knew Swatty wouldn't either. But it would
-have been easy enough for me and Swatty to say Bony did it. We was two
-to one. Maybe I would have said it if I hadn't got religion. But it made
-me feel better for a while to think that I'd thought it and hadn't said
-it. So the next thing I thought was that it would be mighty noble and
-true and religious if I'd go to the mayor or somebody and just say: "I
-killed a man up there at the old shanty boat on the river, but nobody is
-to blame but me. Swatty ain't and Bony ain't, so go ahead and hang me.
-I did it, and it was my target rifle." But I thought that if I was going
-to be hung I'd not feel as lonesome if Swatty and Bony got hung too.
-Anyway, Swatty started to talk, and I forgot it.
-
-"If Bony hadn't gone off with the skiff," he said, "we'd be all right.
-We'd get in the skiff and row out to the middle of the river and lay
-flat in it, and nobody would see us. We could float down the river as
-far as we wanted to and hide in a cane-brake or somewhere. Or maybe,
-we'd row up the Missouri and hide in the Rocky Mountains. If they got
-after us we could turn bandits or something."
-
-"You could," I said, "but I couldn't."
-
-"I forgot you'd got religion," he said. "You'd have to start a ranch.
-But we can't do that, because Bony went off with the skiff."
-
-What we decided was that nobody would be apt to find the dead man that
-day. Maybe they'd never find him. Unless somebody like us happened to
-go into the old shanty boat he might never get found, and then, the next
-spring, when the Mississippi had her spring flood, or that same fall,
-if the water got high enough, we could come up and float the old shanty
-boat out of the mud and take her out in the river and sink her. We
-talked over a lot of things, and the more we talked the more it didn't
-seem so bad. It looked as if we had a chance not to get hung, after all.
-
-I wanted to cut across the cornfield to the hill and go home that way,
-so that if anybody saw us they'd think we had been up in the woods and
-not near the shanty boat, but Swatty said that wouldn't do because our
-footprints would show in the cornfield, and detectives would trace us by
-them if they started out to find who murdered the man. He said it would
-be more innocent to go right down the railroad track, and if anybody
-asked us anything to say we hadn't been as far up as the shanty boat,
-and that Bony had got a stomach ache or something and gone home first
-with the boat. So we did that. We walked down the track. We talked about
-the murder all the time, and the more we talked the surer we were nobody
-would think we did it.
-
-Well, we got to my gate all right, and Swatty and me crossed our hearts
-we wouldn't say anything about killing the man, and I tried to think
-how I'd act so nobody at home would think anything different than they
-always did, and I went into the house. It was pretty late. They were
-eating supper. So I went in and sat down, and Father scolded me a
-little for being late, like he does nearly every day, and then he said
-something else.
-
-"Son," he said, "after supper you'll get that target rifle of yours and
-turn it over to me."
-
-Well, I almost jumped out of my skin, I was so scared.
-
-"Now, you needn't begin any of that," he said. "I mean what I say. Do
-you know who was shot today?"
-
-I was so scared I couldn't swallow my piece of meat. I choked on it.
-
-"No, sir!" I said, pretty weakly.
-
-"Well, Benny Judge shot his little sister," said my father. "Only by the
-greatest luck she wasn't killed. As it is she has a bullet in her arm.
-Now, mind! I want that rifle."
-
-Well, I was glad and I was scared stiff, too.
-
-I had left the target rifle on the rocks up by the shanty boat. I began
-to shake again because I knew somebody would find the target rifle and
-it had my initials on it, and when they found the dead man they would
-know I killed him. I guess my teeth chattered. Anyway I couldn't think
-of anything at all. I just wished I was dead, because after supper
-Father would want the rifle, and I didn't have it, and some one would
-find it and I would be hung.
-
-Then Mother saw me shake, and she said, "What's the matter? Are you
-cold?"
-
-"Y-y-yes'm," I said. Well, it wasn't a lie. I was sort of cold.
-
-"Father, the poor child is sick," Mother said. "See him chatter his
-teeth."
-
-So Father looked at me. "Malaria," he said. So he asked me if I had been
-up to the Slough, because he had been reading in a magazine about Slough
-mosquitoes biting you and giving you malaria. I didn't know what to say.
-It didn't look good to say I had been up there so near the old shanty
-boat, and I didn't like to lie about it, because I was on probation
-for getting religion. So I didn't say anything. I just shivered and
-chattered my teeth.
-
-"Huh!" my father said. "I knew well enough something was the matter with
-that boy when he got religion. He's had this malaria spell coming on.
-Put him to bed and give him a big dose of quinine." And then he said to
-me, "Just let me catch you up near that Slough again, understand? Get to
-bed, and quick! This family is just one thing after another!"
-
-I got to bed pretty quick and Mother gave me one of the big capsules.
-She heated the scorched blanket at the kitchen stove and wrapped me up
-in it and put all the bed covers she could find on top of me. I started
-to sweat right away. So she said, "If you want anything I'll leave the
-door open and you can call me," and she went down again. She told Father
-she guessed I was pretty sick because I looked like it, and all he said
-was, "Huh! boys!" And I guessed he was right, and I made up my mind
-to live a better and truer life, but I kept thinking of the man we had
-killed. I never sweat so much in my life.
-
-All at once the doorbell rang and I sat right up in bed. I thought the
-police had come for me. But it wasn't the police; it was something just
-as bad--almost. It was old Higgins, the skiff man. He was talking to
-Father. He asked him if I had got home all right. So Father said I had,
-and I was sick and in bed. Then old Higgins said, "Well, I don't know
-what to make of it. Nobody brought my skiff back. Your boy and two other
-boys hired it off of me, and when it got late and they didn't bring it
-back I got frightened. You ask him where he left my skiff, and if
-they lost it somebody's got to pay me back for it." Well, I was mighty
-scared. I guessed Bony had been so scared he had upset the skiff and got
-drowned, and maybe me and Swatty would get hung for that, too, though we
-did throw rocks at Bony to try to get him to come back. But, anyway, me
-and Swatty would have to tell why Bony had gone off in the skiff alone,
-and then they would know everything, and take us to jail and hang us. I
-crawled down under the covers and pretended to be asleep, but it wasn't
-any use, because Father shook me by the shoulder.
-
-"Now, what?" he said, cross. "Here's Higgins, the skiff man, and he says
-you hired a skiff and didn't bring it back. What's the meaning of all
-this? And are you putting on this malaria on this account? Explain,
-young man!"
-
-So I sat up and I said, "Bony took it."
-
-"Come, now, explain!" my father said.
-
-"Well, we was up the river," I said, "and me and Swatty and Bony got out
-of the skiff and--and we went ashore. So--so--then me and Swatty, we run
-down the railroad track a little way and--and when we looked back Bony
-was going to get into the skiff, and we hollered for him to wait for us,
-but he wouldn't. He got into it and rowed away."
-
-"And left you there?"
-
-"Yes, sir."
-
-I guess he didn't believe it. I guess he thought I was just trying to
-put it onto Bony, to get out of it myself. He forgot I'd got religion, I
-guess. So he snapped his fingers the way he does when he's mad.
-
-"Get out of that bed and get into your clothes and make haste about
-it!" he said, and I said, "Yes, sir!" and I got out of bed right away. I
-dressed quick.
-
-Mother cried because it was wrong to make a sick boy dress and go over
-to Bony's house out of a sweat and I'd catch pneumonia; but I had to
-go. So nobody said anything on the way over, except Mr. Higgins tried to
-talk about what nice weather we were having, but Father wouldn't talk.
-I didn't like to go, because--well, I thought all Bony's folks would be
-crying because he was drowned when we got there; but of course if you
-think about it, they wouldn't know. So when we got to their house they
-weren't crying, but Mr. Booth--he was Bony's father--just come to the
-door in his socks and said, "Well, what is it now?" because I was there,
-and he knew something was the matter or I wouldn't be there with my
-father. So Father said, "Did your son come home?"
-
-"Yes, he come home," Mr. Booth said, "but he ain't well, and Ma put him
-to bed."
-
-I was glad he wasn't drowned, anyway. Unless he'd told about the dead
-man, and then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he had been drowned.
-So Father and Mr. Higgins told about the skiff, and Mr. Booth sent
-Bony's ma to up ask Bony. Pretty soon she came down.
-
-"He's pretty sick," she said. "He's complaining of pains in his arms and
-back and he's shaking like he had the ague; but I hope not, because his
-temp'ature ain't high. I guess maybe he caught a chill. And he tied the
-skiff under the creek bridge. He left the oars in it. But he shall never
-again play with those two boys! Never again! The idea of them running
-off and leaving my poor child to row home all alone!"
-
-Well, that was a lie, but I wasn't sore at Bony because he's a coward
-and it was better for him to tell a lie like that than to blab about the
-dead man. Anyway, a fellow has to tell some lies until he gets religion.
-After that it's different.
-
-"So you've been lying to me again!" Father said to me, but I didn't say
-anything. Saying it was a lie didn't make it a lie, and all he could do
-was lick me, anyway. But he didn't lick me, because he thought maybe
-I did have malaria because I'd got religion. I guess that was what he
-thought. So Mr. Higgins said, "Never mind, I'll get the skiff, but it
-will be about a dollar." So Father paid him and said he would take it
-out of my allowance; but he hardly ever paid me my allowance, anyway,
-so that was all right. He just gave me an allowance so he could say he
-wouldn't pay it to me, I guess. Anyway, we went home.
-
-Well, I stayed awake for hours, thinking about the murder and what we
-had better do about it, but maybe it was only a few minutes, and the
-next morning Swatty came over before I was out of bed. He waited for me
-in the side yard until I come down.
-
-"Well," he said, "have you thought of anything to do?"
-
-I hadn't thought of anything except maybe I'd better go to the minister
-and tell him all about it. So Swatty said if I did that he would knock
-my head off, and I knew he would, if he could.
-
-"Well, have you thought of anything, then?" I asked him.
-
-So he told me he had sat up all night thinking about it. He said he
-had paced the floor with his hands behind him and his brow knotted
-in thought throughout the still hours of the night until cockcrow. I
-thought he was lying, but I didn't tell him so. I told him I went to
-sleep, and I told him about Bony and Mr. Higgins. I told him about the
-rifle we had left on the rocks. He said that complicated matters, but we
-would have to make the best of it.
-
-Then he showed me the braided horsehair bridle he had in his pocket that
-his uncle had brought back from Texas, and the wooden tobacco pipe
-he had in the other pocket. He said we might have gone to Texas, only
-somebody in Texas might recognize the bridle and know it was the one his
-uncle had had, and then know him and connect him up with the murder in
-the shanty boat, so we would go to Montana or maybe New Mexico. He was
-n't sure which we would go to, but that it would be better to start
-right away.
-
-Well, I didn't like to leave home and never come back until I was a big
-man with a beard, and the murder was forgotten about, but it seemed the
-only thing to do. I talked and Swatty talked, and it seemed the only way
-we could keep from being hung, because "murder will out," as it says in
-our reader. I only had twenty-five cents that I hadn't paid Mr. Higgins
-for the skiff, and Swatty only had fourteen cents. We knew that was
-n't nearly enough money. We didn't know what Bony had, but afterward
-we found he only had a dime. But Swatty said we could get work to do
-in some of the places we would get to, and we could steal green com and
-roast it--only he would have to steal it, because it wouldn't be right
-for me.
-
-We thought the best thing to do would be to start out of our back gate
-and go due west, and keep going west until we came to Montana or New
-Mexico, or wherever we got to, only we had to get the rifle first,
-because if we left it, it would be evidence against us, and anyway we
-might kill some game with it. We had it all fixed up how we would do,
-and just then Bony came over the back fence, and we told it all over
-again. We didn't think he would go with us, but he said he would.
-
-So we talked it all over, and it wasn't like any other time we had ever
-talked anything over. Most times we just talked about running away but
-we didn't mean it, but this time it was a mighty serious thing and we
-meant it. Other times when we talked we were afraid to run away, but
-this time we were afraid not to. It was almost noon when we got ready
-to go, and just as we were going Mother saw us and called us back. She
-asked me if we were going to the woods, and we were, so I said we
-were, and she said we oughtn't to go without lunch, so she made us
-sandwiches, and we were glad to have them. I said "Good-bye, Mother,"
-and she said "Good-bye, son," and she didn't know that maybe it was the
-last time she'd ever say it to me, but I knew it because maybe she would
-grow old and die before I ever came back.
-
-Well, we started off. We didn't talk much--even Swatty didn't. We went
-past his barn, and he went in to say good-bye to his dog, but we didn't
-dare take him along, because somebody might know us by him, so he whined
-and cried when we went away. We didn't say anything much until we got to
-the city limits and then Swatty said, "Well, anyway, now the town police
-can't touch us, because we are out of town, and they can't touch anybody
-out of town", and Bony began to cry.
-
-But he didn't cry loud--he just sort of sniggered to himself and wiped
-his eyes with the back of his hand. I guess maybe I cried, too, but not
-very loud, either.
-
-If it hadn't been for being hung I would have gone back, and I would
-have told the minister all about killing the man, because I kept
-thinking about Mamie Little and that some other boy would play with her
-and grow up and marry her, and maybe I'd never see her again, even if he
-didn't marry her. Swatty was the only one that didn't cry a little. He
-didn't have to, because he let on to be mad at us for being mushies, and
-he swore instead. He swore at me and Bony, and I could have kept from
-crying, too, if I could have swore, but I couldn't because I gave it up
-when I got religion.
-
-After we got beyond the houses that are beyond the city limits we went
-across the vacant lots and across the old fair grounds and down over the
-hill. We got down to the river road and climbed over the fence and got
-under the bob-wire fence on the other side of the road and went through
-the cornfield. We forgot about our footprints.
-
-When we got to the edge of the cornfield Bony wouldn't go any farther.
-He was scared to go any nearer the dead man. Swatty and me crawled under
-the wires and went across the railroad track, and before we were across
-them we dodged back into the cut alongside the track, and Swatty dropped
-flat in the weeds. So I dropped flat, too. The reason was that there
-were eight or ten men on the front deck of the shanty house, and I don't
-know how many more inside.
-
-They had found the man we had murdered.
-
-We just lay there and held our breath. I couldn't think of anything, I
-was so scared again. I just remembered how "murder will out," and how
-a murderer will always come back to where he murdered anybody, and that
-there we were, and that as soon as they saw us they'd know we were the
-murderers, because we had come back. I don't know what Swatty was doing,
-and I didn't know what I was doing, but I guess as soon as I was able
-I-started to try to dig a hole in the railroad embankment with my finger
-nails, to crawl into and hide, because that was what I was doing when I
-heard the men come up the other side of the embankment.
-
-They were coming up from the shanty boat, and one of the men was saying,
-"Steady now! Keep that door level, can't you?" So I couldn't dig any
-more. My fingers wouldn't work. My arms and legs felt as if they were
-full of cold ice water, and I couldn't lift up my hands to put my hat
-on tighter, which I wanted to do because I could feel my hair lifting up
-and lifting my hat up. I didn't think about being hung or anything, but
-just how awful it would be if the men let the door tip and rolled the
-murdered man down on top of us. I guess I ought to have thought of how
-innocent I was, but I didn't. I didn't even think of being religious. I
-just felt my backbone creep and my hair lift up and my arms and legs get
-colder and colder.
-
-We heard the men carrying the dead man away. I couldn't move, and I
-guess I would never have dared to move again if it hadn't been for
-Swatty. As soon as we couldn't hear the men any more Swatty lifted his
-head and crawled up the embankment and looked. I wouldn't have done it
-for a million billion quadrillion dollars. He looked, and when he saw
-they weren't thinking of us, but were all looking at the dead man on
-the door and going away from us down the railroad track he scrabbled up
-the rest of the embankment and scrabbled across the track and down the
-other side. He was back right away, with the target rifle, and then he
-told me to get up and get away from there, but I couldn't get up. So he
-kicked me two or three times hard, and when he kicked me on my hip bone
-I got mad and forgot to be so scared and got up. We ran through the
-cornfield and got Bony, and all three of us got across the road and ran
-up the hillside into the woods as hard as we could run.
-
-I don't know how many miles we ran. We ran until we had to fall down
-because our legs wouldn't work any more. We sat in the bushes awhile and
-rested, and then we went on, but we walked mostly. We only ran once in
-a while. We came to a road we didn't know, but it went sort of west;
-and we went on down that road a long way and that night we slept in a
-haystack--not because it was cold but to be hid. The next morning
-we went on again, and before noon we were mighty hungry. Bony was
-hungriest, and he cried a lot, and I cried a little, but Swatty was
-willing to fight us whenever we wanted to stop and rest too long,
-because it wasn't safe yet. We were a long way from Arizona or Montana
-or wherever we were going, and it was just about the time the sheriff
-and everybody would start out to find us if they thought we were the
-murderers. We just plugged along and felt mean and tired, and I thought
-about Mother and Mamie Little a lot. I felt so bad I almost didn't care
-if they did catch me and hang me. That's the way Bony felt, too, but
-Swatty kept us going.
-
-Swatty went up to a house about supper time and asked for some bread and
-butter, and he got it and brought part of it to us. Then he made us go
-on, because he said we ought to get as far from that house as we could
-after we'd been seen there. So we went until I was ready to die, and
-we found a hayrick in a field and we were just going to hide in it when
-three men on horseback and some in a buggy--two more--came up the road
-and saw us and shouted at us.
-
-Well, we knew it was all up. The men started to climb over the fence,
-and we walked toward them because we knew we couldn't get away, and it
-was just as well to be hung as to be shot trying to run away. I guess it
-was the most awful feeling I ever had in my life.
-
-When we got up to them one of the men was Swatty's father and another
-was my minister. As soon as Swatty got there his father took him by the
-collar of his coat, and shook him and hit him on the side of the head
-and told him what he thought of him for running away and making so much
-trouble; but when he let go of him Swatty just dropped down on the grass
-and shut his eyes, because he was so played out that all he had to
-be was shook, and he went unconscious. So Bony started to cry and the
-minister said, "Shame!" and then Swatty's father got red in the face,
-and dropped on his knees beside Swatty and picked him up and kissed him.
-He cried. It was the first time I ever saw a man cry.
-
-So then I guessed I'd confess the whole thing to my minister, and I
-did. The other men were all trying to get Swatty to open his eyes and my
-minister listened to me. He listened to all of it--all about the murder
-and all. Then he put his hand on my shoulder, and he said, "You poor
-boy! And you thought I was hunting you down?" And I said, "How long will
-it be before they hang us?" And he said, "George, I hope you will never
-be hung, because that man wasn't murdered. He was a suicide, and he
-wrote a letter about it before he went to do it." So I started to say
-how glad I was and, when I come to, I was at a farmhouse and my minister
-was trying to get me to drink some milk.
-
-So after while we went home. Father wasn't there, because he was out
-with some other folks hunting for us, but Mother and Fan and a lot of
-people were, and my minister told them all about it, and the women all
-cried to think of us three all alone with a murder on our minds and our
-legs tired, I guess, and not much to eat. But I was so tired I didn't
-care. I was so tired I didn't care who was there. I was so tired I was
-n't even glad I wasn't a murderer. Then somebody came out from behind
-the women where she had been, where they wouldn't notice her much, and
-she didn't look at me or anybody. She just said:
-
-"Well, I guess I'll go home now."
-
-"Why, Mamie Little, have you been waiting up all this while?" my mother
-said. "You should be in bed, child."
-
-So she didn't look at me, and I didn't look at her. She just went home.
-But then I knew I was glad I wasn't a murderer. Because I knew that
-Mamie Little wouldn't have thought I'd got religion very good if all I'd
-got let me go around murdering men in shanty boats. And I didn't want
-Mamie Little to think that about me, because--well, I didn't know why, I
-just thought it.
-
-
-
-
-X. SLIM FINNEGAN
-
-Well, I guess the nearest Swatty ever came to having a lot of money was
-the time Mr. Murphy got it and Swatty didn't. It was a thousand and five
-hundred dollars, and if Swatty didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have
-had it; and if Mamie Little didn't get it I ought to have had it; but we
-didn't any of us get it, because Mr. Murphy got it.
-
-I told you about the time Mamie Little got mad at me because I had been
-prohibition and changed over to anti-prohibition because Swatty could
-lick me, and about how her father had the prohibition newspaper. Well,
-he kept publishing in his newspaper that the saloons ought to be closed;
-so one day somebody blew up Mr. Little's house with dynamite--only it
-was gunpowder. But they called it dynamite. They called the men that
-blew up the house the dynamiters. They blew up two other houses, too,
-and that was why Mr. Murphy was in town. He was a detective. He came and
-worked in the sawmill, and nobody knew he was a detective until he got
-the money me or Swatty or Mamie Little ought to have had.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony was sitting on the empty manure bin back of our
-barn, smoking cornsilk cigarettes, and that reminded us of the time we
-were up the river smoking driftwood grapevine cigarettes, when we saw
-Slim Finnegan steal the gunpowder, and we got to talking about it.
-
-"Well, if anybody ever finds out Slim Finnegan stole it he won't stab
-me!" Swatty said; "because he wouldn't think I told on him, because I
-ain't prohibition and I never was; and I guess Slim and everybody knows
-it."
-
-So that made me and Bony feel pretty scared, because everybody knew
-Slim Finnegan was a stabber. He'd just as soon stab you as not. I
-don't remember whether he ever had stabbed anybody; but I guess he had,
-because everybody said so. Anyway, he was always showing us the knife he
-stabbed fellers with when he wanted to stab them, and he said he'd stab
-any of us for two cents. The knife had a staghorn handle and a six-inch
-blade, with a curve in it and a spring in the back that, when you
-pressed it, snapped the blade open all ready to stab with.
-
-Once, when he met me when I was alone, he grabbed me by the neck and
-backed me against a fence post, and pulled out the knife and opened it.
-I bellered and said: "Aw, lemme alone, Slim! I never done nothin' to
-you!" And he said he knew mighty well I hadn't and that I'd better not
-try to, because he was a stabber, and if I did anything he didn't like
-he'd cut my heart out and leave it sticking to the fence post with the
-knife in it, to show fellers not to monkey with Slim Finnegan. So I said
-I'd never, never do anything he didn't want me to, and please to let me
-go. So he said, well, he guessed he'd stab me, anyway, while he had
-me; and he put the point of his knife against my stomach and leaned up
-against me, so that all he had to do was lean a little harder against
-the handle of the knife and I'd be stabbed.
-
-I thought I was going to be killed, sure. I held my breath, and my
-bones felt like water; and just then he laughed at me and bumped my head
-against the post three times and threw me down on the grass and went
-away.
-
-That was before me and Swatty and Bony saw him set the lumber yard afire
-too. After we saw him set the lumber yard afire we were all more scared
-of him than ever; even Swatty was scared of him, and said so. When we
-saw him set the lumber yard afire Slim was in our class at school; but
-he was twice as big as anybody in our room, because he only went to
-school when he wanted to and he didn't want to very often; and after the
-fire he quit going to school. I guess he went bumming for a while.
-
-The first I knew about Slim Finnegan was when I was a little bit of a
-kid and not big enough to ride belly buster or knee gut on a sled or
-slide down the big hills. I had a high sled and rode on it sitting down,
-and rode from the sidewalk into the gutter, and things like that. So my
-father got me a new sled on my birthday, a clipper sled with half-round
-irons, and it was painted red and was named Dexter. I took it out on the
-hill where the big kids were sliding and tried to ride belly buster on
-it, which is lying flat on your stomach and steering with both feet,
-like knee gut is lying on one knee and steering with the other foot, but
-the runners on my sled were so slick that when I put the sled down it
-slid away before I could get onto it.
-
-So I was trying that when Slim Finnegan came up. I hadn't ever seen him
-before, but he acted nice and said the way I was trying to get onto the
-sled wasn't the right way and he would show me how. So he took my sled
-and ran away and belly busted onto it. He went down the hill like a
-flash. I watched him until I couldn't tell which was Slim and which was
-some other feller, away down the hill, and then I couldn't tell any one
-from any other, and I waited for him to come back. One feller came up
-the hill, and then another and dozens came up, but Slim didn't come back
-with my sled; and after a while I began to blubber the way kids do, and
-a girl I didn't know took me by the arm and led me home, saying, "Don't
-cry, Georgie! Don't cry, Georgie!" all the way.
-
-So the girl told my mother somebody had stolen my sled, and that was the
-first I knew it was stolen. When my father came home he asked me what
-the boy was like that took my sled and I told him, and he went out and
-after a long time he came back and he had my sled. It was all painted
-over with fresh drab paint except where my father had scraped the paint
-off to show that it was my sled. He said: "That drunken Finnegan's dirty
-son stole it!" So that was the first I knew of Slim Finnegan.
-
-When I got old enough to play away from the house I mighty soon knew
-that Slim Finnegan was the feller that would sneak up on us little kids
-when we were playing marbles and grab up our marbles and steal them and,
-if we said anything, twist our arms behind us until we yelled. He was
-the one that would sit in the long grass out in the field when we played
-ball and, if the ball came near him, grab it up and put it in his pocket
-and laugh at us. He was the one that, if he came on us when we were
-fishing, would throw our worm can in the Slough and take the fish we had
-caught, and then swear at us. He was a sneak and a thief and a tough,
-and his father was a tough and a drunkard; and it wasn't safe to send
-your washing to Mrs. Finnegan because sometimes she got drunk and didn't
-do it for a week, and sometimes it didn't all come back.
-
-Well, Swatty said that Slim Finnegan wouldn't stab him, because he was
-anti-prohibition and Slim was too; so Bony thought maybe he'd better
-turn anti-prohibition, and he did. And I hoped Slim knew I had turned,
-but I was afraid he didn't.
-
-Well, one day that spring--but pretty late--me and Swatty and Bony went
-down to the levee and hired a skiff from Higgins like we always did;
-and we rowed across the Mississippi to the Illinois shore above the old
-ferry landing. I guess maybe we were after turtle eggs; so when we saw
-the shore was all mud Swatty said:
-
-"Let's row up to the head of the Slough and row down the Slough."
-
-"What for?" I asked him.
-
-"Oh, just for cod!" he says. So we did.
-
-We rowed up to the place where the Slough branches off from the river,
-and there was a good deal of water in the Slough yet, so we rowed down
-the Slough until we came almost to the ferry road, and then we thought
-we would stop and get some grapevine driftwood to smoke, and we did.
-We rowed to the shore of the Slough and got out and found plenty of
-driftwood where it had lodged against the bushes and tree roots, and we
-lit up and smoked and sat awhile just doing that.
-
-Then Swatty said: "Come on! Let's go over to that sand by the powder
-house and see if there are any turtle eggs there yet."
-
-That was a good place for turtle eggs, because the sand was hotter there
-sooner than anywhere else. It was a sort of cleared place without many
-trees or bushes, all soft sand and not very far from the ferry road.
-So we walked along down the Slough and pretty soon we came to a skiff
-pulled up on the shore. I was nearest, so I jumped into it; but Swatty
-didn't. He said:
-
-"Garsh! You'd better get out of that skiff. Some feller has just left
-that skiff there, because his footprints on the bow seat ain't dry yet.
-If he came back and seen us playing in his skiff he'd like as not give
-us good and plenty!"
-
-And that was right, because when a feller rows over from town or
-anywhere he don't like kids to fool with his skiff; because if the skiff
-got away how could he get back to town? So if they catch you in their
-skiffs they bat you a good one. So I got out of the skiff and Swatty
-went on ahead, and me and Bony followed; and we come to the sandy place
-by the powder house.
-
-A powder house is a little square shack about as big as a closet,
-covered with sheet iron and painted red for danger. This was the only
-one on the Illinois side, but there were two more on the Iowa side, up
-the river from town a good ways; and the reason they were so far from
-town was because the wholesale grocers sold powder, but the city didn't
-allow them to keep any inside the city limits. When they sold some they
-sent over to get it. The powder houses were painted with big letters
-to say Danger! and that nobody must shoot at them or build a fire near
-them, or they might explode. So that was why this one was in the middle
-of the sandy place sand can't burn like grass does.
-
-So we come through the bushes to where we could see the powder house and
-we all stopped short right there, for there was Slim Finnegan coming
-out of the powder house with a bag over his shoulder, with what anybody
-could tell was an iron powder keg in it. As soon as we saw him he saw us
-and we dodged back into the bushes and ran. We ran pretty far, and then
-we stopped and listened and didn't hear anything; so we hid down behind
-a log and waited. We knew that if Slim Finnegan found us he'd stab us or
-something. Anyway, we thought he would. Me and Bony did. I guess Swatty
-did too.
-
-After we had waited what seemed like a couple of hours--but I guess
-it was about half a minute--Swatty put his head up above the log and
-looked, and didn't see anything. Then he got up and went round the log
-and started to go back to the powder house. Bony didn't say anything,
-because he was too scared, but I yelled, "Swatty! Swatty!" in a whisper,
-because I wanted him to come back; but he just turned and motioned us to
-be still, and he went on. He walked as careful as he could. Pretty soon
-he came back and dropped down behind the log again.
-
-"It's Slim Finnegan, all right," he said--only he said "orl right," like
-he always does; "and he's stealing a keg of powder"--only he said it
-sort of like "kerg of powder."
-
-"What'd you see, Swatty?" I whispered.
-
-"I seen him shift the bag from one shoulder to the other," Swatty said,
-"and I could see the ridges on the keg, all right! If we wanted to we
-could tell the police and they'd put him in jail."
-
-"Aw, don't, Swatty!" I said. "If you do that he'll wait until he gets
-out and then he'll stab all of us. Aw, don't tell the police, Swatty!"
-
-"Maybe I will and maybe I won't," Swatty said. "I ain't made up my mind
-yet what I'll do. I ain't afraid of his old stabbin' knife, I tell you
-that! He can't scare me! There ain't any Slim Finnegan that ever lived
-could scare me. If he pulled his old frog stabber on me I'd--"
-
-He stopped short and I saw him put out one hand and grab the log, and
-his face looked like a dead man's, and then I looked up from the callus
-I was fixing on my foot and I saw Slim Finnegan too. He was standing
-right in front of us with a pistol in his hand and the pistol was
-pointed right at us. He had a mean-looking face, sort of foxy and sort
-of sneery, and now it had a sort of grin on it, and it was ugly. It was
-the kind of grin he had when he twisted a little kid's arm and made
-him scream. He was just like he always was, sort of muddy-haired and
-yellowfaced and slouchy in the shoulders, and tobacco juice in the
-corners of his mouth. He looked just the way he always looked when he
-was going to have some fun hurting somebody.
-
-I felt pretty sick, I felt hot in the stomach, as if a bullet had
-already made a hot hole there. I sort of twitched in different places as
-each place got to thinking it was the place the bullet was going to hit.
-I don't know what Bony did; I had all I wanted to do without thinking of
-anybody else. All of a sudden Slim opened his dirty mouth and swore at
-us the worst anybody ever heard.
-
-"Get up out of there, you"--something--"rats!" he said in the meanest
-voice he had. "Get up!"
-
-So we got up.
-
-"You get along there, now!" he ordered, swearing some more; and he waved
-us where to go.
-
-We didn't say a word, not even Swatty. We just went; and instead of
-thinking I felt the bullet coming into my stomach I thought I felt it
-coming into the joints of my back. I put my hand behind me to sort of
-help stop it if it came. That way he sent us through the brush to the
-sandy place. He walked us toward the powder house, and then, all at
-once, he shouted at us to throw down our grapevine cigarettes. He asked
-us if we wanted to blow him to hell. So we threw them down.
-
-Then he came up to me and hit me on the side of the head and knocked me
-down in the sand, and threw Bony on top of me, and slapped Swatty so
-he staggered; but Swatty didn't fall. He swore back at Slim, and Slim
-slapped him again and knocked him down. For a million dollars I would
-n't have sworn back at a stabber that had a pistol; but that's how
-Swatty is. Anyway, he was the only one of us that could swear good
-enough to make it worth while swearing back.
-
-Well, Slim had left the door of the powder house open and when he had
-us all knocked down he came over and kicked at us, and I was the one
-he kicked. He swore all the time, a steady stream, and it was the
-thoroughest swearing I ever heard. It sounded like business. Then he
-jerked Swatty up and slung him toward the powder house and slung him
-inside, and then he took me and Bony and slung us the same way. He slung
-us all into the powder house.
-
-"I'll teach you to go blattin' about me when you see me!" he said.
-"Dirty little rats! I'll learn you a lesson! You 'll never come your
-sneakin' spy in' on me again! You'll have enough when I get through with
-you this time. You want to know what I'm goin' to do with you?"
-
-Well, we did sort of want to know, but we didn't say so.
-
-"I'm goin' to lock you in there," he said; "and I'm goin' to leave you
-in there to starve, like the dirty sneaks you are. I'll teach you to
-go tellin' lies about me! You'd go and say I stole that can of powder,
-wouldn't you? Well, I didn't steal it--see? I bought it. I bought it
-and they sent me over to get it. It's none of your business, anyway. You
-sneakin' rats!"
-
-Bony started to cry. Slim told him to shut up, and he did. He scowled at
-us.
-
-"No, by"--something--he said, swearing; "starving is too good for
-tattle-tellin' rats like you. Somebody might come and let you out. I
-know what I'm goin' to do to you. I'm goin' to lock you in and then I'm
-goin' to set a fire and blow you to a million pieces. I'll blow you up,
-like the sneakin' rats you are!"
-
-I can't make it sound the way it sounded to us, because I can't swear
-the way he did. He swore, to show he meant it, and then he slammed the
-iron-covered door and we heard the iron bar scrape as he put it across
-the door, and we heard the padlock click into the staple. We were in the
-dark, darker dark than I was ever in before. Bony began to cry sort of
-funny, like a sick animal with a voice that was too weak to cry very
-good. All I can remember was that I put out my hands and felt Swatty and
-hung onto his coat with both hands.
-
-I hung on and held my breath and waited for the explosion to come. We
-heard Slim cracking sticks across his knee; we could hear the sticks
-snap. Then we heard him piling the sticks against the outside of the
-powder house, and pretty soon we heard scratch! scratch!--like a match
-on a box. It was the hardest waiting for anything I ever did. Waiting to
-be blown up is always like that, I guess.
-
-The place where he was piling the sticks was one of the front corners
-of the powder house, and there wasn't so very much powder in the house,
-and what there was was in different piles, for the different kinds
-and sizes of kegs. All of a sudden Swatty pushed my hands off him and
-stooped down and began feeling on the floor in the corner where the fire
-was going to be. There were four or five little kegs of powder in that
-corner and Swatty began picking them up and putting them on one of the
-other piles that was not so near the corner. I guess nobody but Swatty
-would have thought of doing that; but when he started I started, too,
-and we moved the powder as fast as we could. Then the door opened.
-
-Slim had taken off the padlock and the iron bar so quietly we hadn't
-heard him, and when he opened the door he caught us shifting the kegs.
-
-"Come out of there!" he said. "Now you know what I'll do to you if you
-go telling about me. If I ever hear you have mentioned my name, or if
-you ever say it to each other, I'll get you and bring you over here and
-finish this job right!"
-
-Well, we guessed he'd do it.
-
-"I'd have done it now," he said, "only I don't want to blow up powder
-that don't belong to me. And here's the keg I had," he said, throwing
-one into the powder house. "Now, you get! And if you ever say a word you
-'ll know what 'll happen to you. Get!"
-
-We ran. We ran like scared deer, and all I wanted to do was to get as
-far away as I could. We ran a long way up the Slough and then Swatty
-stopped, and I stopped because he stopped, but Bony kept on running.
-
-"Come on!" I said to Swatty. "What you stopping for?"
-
-"Hide in there," he said, pointing to some bushes. "I'll come back."
-
-He crouched Indian fashion and went toward the Slough and out of sight.
-It was quite awhile before he came back.
-
-"Garsh, he's a liar!" he said when he came back. "That keg of powder he
-stole wasn't the one he put back. He's got that one in his skiff yet.
-It was another one he put back."
-
-"Swatty, you ain't goin' to tell on him, are you?" I asked.
-
-"You bet I ain't!" he said. "I just wanted to know. You bet I ain't
-going to tell; if I did he'd stab us in a minute."
-
-Well, I guess we waited round an hour before we went home, and then we
-were mighty glad there was any of us left to go home, because we had all
-thought we were going to be blown into such little pieces nobody would
-ever find any of us again.
-
-Now about the dynamiters: After I had marched in the prohibition
-parade because Mamie Little's father was a prohibition man--there was
-prohibition in Iowa, all over, and for a while Riverbank didn't have any
-saloons because it was against the law. So Slim Finnegan's father got a
-shanty boat and started a saloon on it across the river, where there
-wasn't prohibition; and Slim helped tend bar, and then other bumboats
-started, and pretty soon I guess folks got tired of that and the saloons
-started up again in Riverbank, so people could get drunk without having
-to hire a skiff and go across the river.
-
-So three or four or five men made up their minds they would stop the
-saloons again, and they started in to do it. Mamie Little's father was
-one of them, because he printed the newspaper that wanted the saloons
-closed; so one night three or four of the men's houses were blown up
-with gunpowder, but the fuse went out on the other keg, so it didn't
-blow up its house. But three of them were blown up. That was about three
-months after me and Swatty and Bony saw Slim Finnegan steal the keg of
-powder; and right away we thought of that and that Slim Finnegan was one
-of the men that blew up the houses.
-
-Gee! We was scared! All we could think of was that now Slim Finnegan
-would come round and stab us, so we wouldn't tell on him. One whole
-afternoon we hid in the old box stall in my barn and didn't dare talk
-above a whisper; and we had my target rifle, because if Slim came we
-were going to sell our lives dearly.
-
-But that was afterward. We went to see the blown-up houses first--right
-after breakfast the morning after the night they were blown up--and they
-were all pretty bad. Everybody said it was a miracle nobody was killed,
-and how Mamie Little and her folks walked across the bare rafters
-and got out, and everything like that. So then the mayor offered five
-hundred dollars reward and the governor offered a thousand dollars more;
-and there was a big meeting downtown one night and everybody gave money
-to hire detectives to catch the dynamiters.
-
-There were lots of detectives came to Riverbank; I guess maybe there
-were a thousand. Everybody said it would be just a little while before
-the dynamiters were all caught and sent to prison; but pretty soon
-everybody began saying the detectives were no good, and that Mr. Murphy,
-who was the one the committee had hired, was just pretending it was
-worth while to detect, and that he would never get the dynamiters,
-and that all he was staying in Riverbank for was to get the money the
-committee paid him every week. All he found out, I guess, was that the
-dynamite was gunpowder and that some of it was stole from the powder
-house across the river and some from the powder houses up the river. But
-me and Swatty and Bony knew who stole it. That's why we were scared.
-
-And you bet we were mighty scared! We made a fort in the hayloft of my
-barn, with loopholes to shoot my target rifle through, so we could flee
-to it if Slim Finnegan came round, and pop him from behind the fort
-before he could stab us. Swatty got us to do that. He was going to
-show us how to fix the barn stairs with each step on a hinge so when we
-pulled a rope the steps would drop and make a slide, so that whenever
-Slim tried to come up the steps he would get just part way and then
-slide down again; but when we tried to pry the treads of the steps loose
-the nails were rusted and the treads split; so we thought we'd better
-not.
-
-We got up a signal word--only it was Swatty thought of it--so that when
-any of us saw Slim we could say it, and we'd know we had to run for
-shelter to our fort. The word was Vamoose! But it was too long, so
-Swatty shortened it. He made it Vam!
-
-We did everything we could to get ready not to be stabbed. We made
-daggers out of some kitchen knives I got in my kitchen, and Swatty
-showed us how to do it while me and Bony turned the grindstone. We
-sharpened them on both edges and made points on them and tied string
-round the handles in loops, so we could hang them on our suspender
-buttons and let them hang down inside our pants. Swatty showed me how to
-carry my target rifle stuck down one pants leg, too, so it wouldn't be
-visible. It made me walk stiff-legged, like I was lame, but Swatty
-said that was a good thing--it would throw Slim Finnegan off his guard.
-Swatty showed us how to stand back to back when Slim Finnegan attacked
-us, so we would have a dagger in each direction and he couldn't stab us
-in the backs.
-
-Whenever we could we got together and Swatty told us new ways to
-keep from being stabbed, because he said he knew a feller in
-Derlingport--where he had visited once--who was fixed just like we were,
-with a big feller after him; and Swatty remembered other things he had
-done. He didn't remember them all at once, but every day he remembered a
-new one. When he remembered them we did them. One of them was to rub
-our knee joints with sewing-machine oil, so they would be limber and we
-could run like a deer when Slim Finnegan took after us. Before he got
-through Swatty remembered a lot of things like that. We did them.
-
-Well, after a while I guess we sort of forgot about Slim Finnegan,
-because he didn't come round to stab us. Maybe it was because Swatty
-couldn't remember any more of the things the feller in Derlingport had
-done, and maybe it was because school began again. We sort of turned
-the fort in my hayloft into a dressing room for a circus. Swatty was
-ringmaster. So then Bony's birthday started to come and his mother
-thought she'd have a party for him, because they had a new parlor carpet
-and had had the dining-room papered. So she had it.
-
-At first Bony said he wasn't going to his party, because there would be
-girls there and they would want to play kissing games; but Swatty said,
-Aw! he wasn't afraid to kiss all the girls there were in the world! and
-that if Bony would go to the party he would go too. So I said if Bony
-and Swatty would go I would go. I said, Aw! I bet I wasn't afraid to
-kiss all the girls in the world, either! only I bet I wouldn't kiss
-Mamie Little if she asked me a million times, because she was mad at me.
-So we went to Bony's party.
-
-It was a pretty good party. Right at first it wasn't much because the
-girls sat on one side of the room and tried to keep their white dresses
-from getting wrinkled, and the boys sat on the other side. It wouldn't
-have been any fun at all, that first part, only Swatty had brought some
-beans in his pocket and we had some fun shooting them at the girls with
-our thumbs. Every once in a while Bony's mother would come in from the
-kitchen and clap her hands and say:
-
-"Come, now! We must all have a good time! All you boys and girls think
-of a game and play it. Bony"--only she called him Harold--"I'm surprised
-you don't start a game!"
-
-So then Bony wished he hadn't come to his party. So after a while Bony's
-mother said to the cook:
-
-"Well, Maggie, we'd better give them the refreshments now, instead of
-later; they won't liven up until they are fed."
-
-We went into the dining-room and all sat round the big table, and we
-began to have a good time. Us kids would get up and sneak round and
-steal a girl's cake or something, and she would holler and be mad;
-and then we started in to pull their hair-bows, and maybe their hair a
-little, and they would slap at us and scold and giggle. They pretended
-they didn't like it; but they did. So pretty soon some of them got up
-and chased us round the table, and after the ice cream it turned out we
-were playing tag; and Bony's mother said:
-
-"Heaven save the furniture! But, anyway, I'm glad they've waked up!"
-
-Well, I didn't pull Mamie Little's hair, or anything. I guess I wanted
-to, but I sort of didn't dare. All she did was to make a face at me once
-across the table, and when I threw a little piece of cake at her she
-brushed it off her dress and said:
-
-"I consider that very rude!"
-
-So then we went into the parlor again and got to playing kissing
-games--Copenhagen and post-office, and games like that. So then we
-played pillow. I guess the girls like it because there isn't so much
-game and there is more kissing, and I guess the boys don't care because
-by the time you get to playing pillow they're used to it. You take a
-sofa pillow and drop it in front of the girl you want to kiss and drop
-on your knees, and she drops on her knees and then she kisses you. Then
-she takes the pillow and drops it in front of the fellow she wants to
-kiss next, and she kneels on it, and she kisses him. So I guess Kate
-White dropped the pillow in front of me and kissed me; and then I took
-the pillow and looked round the row of chairs.
-
-I saw Mamie Little and she looked as if she was trying to look as if she
-didn't want me to drop the pillow in front of her, but really did want
-me to. I didn't know what to do. Toady Williams was in the next chair to
-Mamie Little. I guess maybe I wanted Mamie Little to kiss me, but I was
-sort of scared to put the pillow in front of her. I got sort of hot. So,
-all of a sudden, I dropped the pillow right in front of her and plumped
-down on my knees. Everybody laughed and clapped their hands, except
-Toady Williams.
-
-But Mamie Little didn't plump down on her knees in front of me. She
-stuck her chin in the air and said:
-
-"No; thank you."
-
-I guess I got hotter than I ever was in my life. I was burning hot. And
-I guess I was pretty mad. I got up and held the pillow by one corner.
-
-"All right for you, then!" I said; and all I thought of was to make her
-sorry for making me look silly before the whole crowd. "All right for
-you! I know who dynamited your house, and now I won't tell!"
-
-Well, right away she got down on her knees. She took the pillow from me
-and got down on her knees on it. So I kneeled down on it, too, and she
-let me kiss her on the cheek. It was the softest cheek I ever kissed,
-I guess. So then she got up, and took the pillow and looked around the
-circle for a boy to drop it in front of, and when she didn't drop it in
-front of Toady Williams the very first thing, I felt fine. Swatty leaned
-over to me and said:
-
-"Garsh! Now you done it!"
-
-"Well," I said back, "I got a right to tell if I want to, haven't I?"
-
-"No, you hain't," Swatty said. "If you tell then Slim Finnegan will stab
-the whole three of us."
-
-"Well, let him stab!" I said, because that was how I felt just then,
-because Mamie Little had not put the pillow down in front of Toady
-Williams but in front of Bony, and that didn't mean much, because it
-only meant that she wanted Bony to have it next, because he would give
-it to Lucy. So, when he went to kiss Mamie she turned her head and he
-hardly got any kiss at all, and she had let me kiss her fair and solid.
-So I felt pretty good. I felt as if she was going to be my girl again.
-And I guess she was, because when somebody put the pillow in front of
-her again, she came right to me with it, and that time it was a good
-kiss too. I felt great!
-
-When us boys was getting our hats, when the party was over, Swatty came
-up to me.
-
-"If you tell her I'm going to lick you," he said.
-
-"All right--lick!" I said. "I ain't afraid of your lickings. Lick all
-you want to. I told her I'd tell and you nor nobody else can't make me a
-liar!"
-
-So Mamie Little waited for me at the front door, and when I came out I
-knew she had waited so I could walk home with her, and I did.
-
-"Well, I'm glad we aren't mad any more," she said when we were walking
-along.
-
-"Ah! who was mad? I wasn't mad," I said. "Well, I ain't mad now," she
-said. "Who was it blew up our house?"
-
-"Oh, somebody!" I said.
-
-We walked a little way and then she said:
-
-"Who blew up our house?"
-
-"Slim Finnegan," I said.
-
-"How do you know he did?" she said.
-
-"Because me and Swatty and Bony saw him steal the powder to do it with,"
-I told her, "We was over in Illinois and we saw him steal it from the
-powder house that's over there."
-
-So we talked about that and when we got home to her house she told me to
-come up on the porch, and I did; and then she opened the door and called
-for her father, and he came to the door.
-
-"Papa, this is Georgie," she said; "and he knows who blew up our house."
-
-Well, he took me inside the house and asked me to tell all about it, and
-I told him, and Mamie sat in a chair and listened to me tell it. When
-he had asked me everything he could think of he went to the door with me
-and said:
-
-"George, you are a fine boy!"
-
-I said:
-
-"Yes, sir!" and then I said, "Good-bye, Mamie!" And she said:
-
-"I don't like that mean old Toady Williams." So I went home.
-
-That evening Mr. Murphy, the detective, came up to my house and Mr.
-Little came with him; and Mr. Murphy asked me all the questions
-Mr. Little had asked, and a lot more, and I told him all about Slim
-Finnegan. He asked where Swatty and Bony lived and how to get to their
-houses. So then Mr. Murphy said:
-
-"If the boy is telling the truth this may be more important than we
-imagined. I have thought for some time that the reason Slim Finnegan
-left town was because he knew something of this affair."
-
-So I guess that was the reason Slim Finnegan hadn't come around to stab
-us--he wasn't in Riverbank. I guess it was a month more before they
-found him down in Oklahoma and fetched him back to Riverbank because
-me and Swatty and Bony had oathed that he had stolen the keg of powder.
-Petty larceny was what it was called. That was what they arrested him
-for.
-
-Well, come to find out, Slim Finnegan hadn't blown up anything, and it
-wasn't even his keg of powder that done it. He had stole the powder
-to load a shotgun with, to go hunting, and he showed Mr. Murphy the
-dry powder keg, with most of the powder in it yet. So he wasn't the
-dynamiter, after all.
-
-But his father was. Mr. Murphy gave Slim Finnegan three degrees and said
-to him, "I guess you know who blew up the houses and if you don't
-tell I'll send you to the penitentiary for twenty years," and Slim
-Finnegan--the mean sneak--told that his father and two other men had
-done it, and they were arrested and went to prison.
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony talked about which of us ought to have the
-one-thousand-five-hundred-dollars reward, and we made up our minds that
-Swatty ought to have it because he was the one that went back and saw
-that Slim Finnegan was really stealing a keg of powder, and that if
-Swatty didn't get it I ought to have it, because I was the one that told
-Mamie Little, and that if I didn't get it Mamie Little ought to have it,
-because if it hadn't been for her I never would have told.
-
-But none of us got it. Mr. Murphy got it. The only thing Swatty and Bony
-got was that they didn't get stabbed. And I got Mamie Little back for my
-secret girl again.
-
-
-
-
-XI. "THIEF! THIEF!"
-
-While Mamie Little's father's house was getting fixed up, after being
-dynamited, they went someplace else to live, and the only people that
-lived across the street from us were the Burtons. There weren't any
-Burtons to play with, because the only children they had was Tom Burton,
-who was older than my sister Fan, and that summer he began taking Fan to
-ride with the dandy horses and carriage the Burtons' hired man took care
-of.
-
-The Burtons' hired man's name was Jimmy, and everybody called him that
-except Mrs. Burton--she called him James. I guess Jimmy was forty years
-old. Or maybe he was fifty, or thirty-five, or something. He was thin
-and balder than hired men generally are, and his only bad habit was
-putting angle worms in a pickle bottle and setting the bottle in the
-sun to dissolve the worms into angle-worm oil for his rheumatism in the
-winter; but summer was when the worms were, so he had to get a lot of
-worms in the summer to last through the winter.
-
-Well, Jimmy had been with the Burtons six years and Annie, our hired
-girl, had been with us on and off, for five years. I guess everybody
-thought she hadn't any other name at all until one evening when
-Jimmy came over and knocked at the back door and asked Mother if Miss
-Dombacher was home. She wasn't, because she had gone to the Evangelical
-Lutheran Church; but after that Jimmy used to come over, and Annie would
-put two chairs out in the? yard under the apple tree and they would
-sit and talk. Or Jimmy would talk. He would talk and talk and talk, and
-every once in a while Annie would say, "Yes," and, after she learned it,
-"No." So, after a couple of years, Jimmy began to hold Annie's hand
-when he talked to her, and in a couple of years more they got engaged. I
-guess they liked each other.
-
-I was in our dining-room one day, looking to see if Annie had put any
-fresh cookies in the jar in the closet, when I heard my mother say, "Oh,
-Annie!" in the kitchen, as if she was sorry about something. So then
-Annie said:
-
-"I bin sorry to go avay, too, ma'am, but it is right everybody should
-get married once or twice."
-
-"I know," my mother said; "but I don't know what I will ever do without
-you, Annie."
-
-So then Annie cried, and there were no cookies, so I went out.
-
-Well, it was like this: Jimmy had been saving his money ever since Annie
-came to our house and now he had enough to get married on and buy a
-couple of acres; so they were going to be married, and he was going to
-leave the Burtons and raise garden stuff and peddle it. Annie was going
-to raise chickens and sell eggs, and they would have a cow and sell
-milk.
-
-So now I come to the story part of the story. I guess what the story is
-about is that sometimes it is a good thing for a fellow to have a girl,
-because if Mamie Little hadn't been my girl maybe Jimmy and Annie would
-never have been married.
-
-There were two parts about the story. One was that a circus was coming
-to town and me and Swatty weren't going; the other was that the
-schoolhouse wore out and they built a new one.
-
-The night before the circus was coming there was going to be a reception
-in the dandy big new schoolhouse to raise money for a library. Everybody
-was going to go, and I guess everybody old enough was going to take his
-girl. Anyway me and Swatty and Bony got to talking about taking girls to
-parties and receptions and things, and the first thing you know we said
-we'd do it.
-
-I guess I said Swatty was afraid, and Swatty dared me back, and we both
-dared Bony, and so we wouldn't any of us take the dare. So Bony asked
-Lucy and she said she'd go with him if my mother would let her. When
-Bony told me I didn't believe him, but I asked Lucy and she said Bony
-had asked her, and that Mamie Little was as mad as mad because I hadn't
-asked Mamie. So I said:
-
-"Aw! How could I ask her when I hain't seen her yet?"
-
-"You could, too, see her, if you wanted to," Lucy said. "You could see
-her every minute of every day, if you wasn't a 'fraid-cat."
-
-"'T ain't so. I'm not a 'fraid-cat!" I said.
-
-"'T is so, and you are! 'Fraidie-cat! You ain't going to take Mamie
-Little, and you're her fellow!"
-
-"I am, too, going to take her!" I said back.
-
-But I wasn't going to take Mamie Little. I wouldn't have asked her for a
-million dollars. But I didn't have to ask her. I met her that afternoon.
-She was on the other side of the street and I just went along as if I
-didn't see her. So she called across: "Oo-oo! Georgie! You know!"
-
-"Aw! What do I know?" I asked back.
-
-"You know! The reception!" she said. Well, I just went along and didn't
-say anything. But that evening when I got home my mother said:
-
-"I hear you are getting to be quite a beau, Georgie."
-
-I didn't know what she meant, so I said, "Huh?"
-
-"Mrs. Little called this afternoon," my mother said, "and she told me
-you had asked Mamie Little to go to the new school reception with you.
-That's very nice."
-
-I didn't say anything. It was Lucy, and I was mighty mad at her for
-telling Mamie Little I was going to take her; but I was kind of glad,
-too. I thought, "Well, anyway, Swatty and Bony are going to take girls."
-
-The reception was the next night, so when Swatty and Bony came over the
-next afternoon I told them I was going to take Mamie Little, and Swatty
-said that was right, everybody was going to take a girl.
-
-So I asked him who he was going to take, because he had never let on he
-had a girl.
-
-"Garsh!" he said, "I ain't going to take any girl!"
-
-That made me sick. Me and Bony had stood right up like men and had asked
-girls, and Swatty had promised he would take one, and now he was backing
-out. So I said:
-
-"Aw! You said you would take one!"
-
-"Well, don't I know it?" Swatty said. "Of course I said I would, but I
-forgot."
-
-"What did you forget?" I asked.
-
-"I forgot I was married," Swatty said.
-
-We were all sitting under our apple tree, out in the yard, and it was a
-good thing we were not sitting on a roof, because I would have fell off
-and killed myself, I was so surprised.
-
-"Aw! When was you married?" I said.
-
-"That time I went to Derlingport to visit my uncle," Swatty said.
-
-"Aw! Who did you marry?"
-
-"A girl," he said.
-
-"Well, if you married a girl why didn't you ever tell us about it
-before?"
-
-"Garsh! I can't remember everything that happened when I was in
-Derlingport, can I? Mebbe I forgot I was married."
-
-"Aw, pshaw!" I said. "What did you want to go and get married for,
-Swatty?"
-
-"Well, I couldn't help it, could I?" he asked.
-
-"You don't think I'd go and get married if I could help it, do you?
-My--my uncle made me."
-
-"Why did he make you?" asked Bony.
-
-"Because my aunt had a felon on her finger. She had a felon on her
-finger and it almost killed her to dam stockings, so my uncle said if I
-wore any more holes in my stockings I'd have to get a wife of my own to
-dam them."
-
-So then we asked Swatty what his wife was like, and he told us a lot
-about her. She was an Indian princess, and when you first looked at her
-she looked all right, but pretty soon you saw she had a tomahawk in her
-belt and the edge of it was all dried over with blood, because she had
-had eight other husbands before Swatty, and she had got mad at all
-of them and had killed them and scalped them. She had an album on her
-parlor table, but instead of photographs in it she had the scalps of her
-husbands.
-
-Swatty said there was just room in the scalp album for one more scalp,
-and that every once in a while when he was at her house having his
-stockings darned she would look at his head and kind of sigh.
-
-Well, we talked it over, and Swatty made us promise never to tell any
-one he had been married, because if his mother knew it she would take
-him out in the stable and wale him with a strap. He said that was why
-he didn't dare take any girl to the new school reception, because if
-his wife heard of it she would be jealous and she would come down and
-tomahawk him and maybe kill him. And if she didn't kill him his mother
-would notice his scalp was gone, the next time she washed his head, and
-would wale him anyway.
-
-Well, my mother helped me dress for the reception, and then she gave me
-twenty cents to spend. I had five cents of my own she didn't know about.
-So that was all right.
-
-It was dark already. I went along, kind of dragging my hand along the
-pickets of the fences and wishing I was dead or something, and it got
-darker and darker. The new house Mamie Little lived in was away out over
-Grimes's Hill, and when I got to the door Mr. Little and Mrs. Little and
-Mamie were just getting ready to come out, and Mr. Little said: "Well!
-Here is our cavalier!"
-
-Mamie and me walked in front, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it
-would be, but I kept feeling sort of chilly when I thought of going into
-the reception with Mamie. But before we got to the schoolhouse Mamie
-said to me:
-
-"Say, Georgie! Don't you want a ticket for the circus?"
-
-I said aw, I didn't want to take her ticket away from her; but she said
-she had one too, because her father was editor of the paper and he got
-them complimentary.
-
-As soon as we got to the reception Mrs. Little said: "Now, you children
-run along and enjoy yourselves."
-
-Mamie said, right away: "Shall we get some ice cream first?"
-
-I said that would be all right, because mebbe people wouldn't notice I
-was with Mamie Little and think I brought her. So we sat down at a table
-and a girl took our order and brought us strawberry and vanilla--big
-dishes--and passed us the cake and we took two pieces of cake apiece.
-
-That was all right; but when we were eating Swatty and Bony came past
-and said: "Ho, Georgie! He brought a girl!"
-
-That was all right for Bony! He had sneaked out of bringing a girl, and
-that was mighty mean, after he had gone and got me to bring one. I said
-I'd fix him when I got him, and he was scared, too! So then we ate our
-ice cream slow, to make it last longer, and I forgot how mean I felt
-because I had brought a girl, when whoever was opposite us got through
-and asked how much he owed.
-
-"Let me see!" the girl said. "Two ice creams at ten cents is twenty
-cents, and two pieces of cake. That makes thirty cents."
-
-Well, I almost rammed my spoon down my throat! I had never thought about
-the cake being extra, and we had had four pieces, and that made twenty
-cents, and the ice cream was twenty cents so it made forty cents all
-together, and twenty-five cents was all the money I had! I was so scared
-my throat sort of closed up on me. I guess my face got as red as fire,
-and I leaned forward and took a big bite of cake, so Mamie Little would
-n't see how red my face was, and then I choked on the cake! I guess I
-never was so choked in my life. And I put a paper napkin up to my face
-and went out into the hall.
-
-I guess Mamie Little sat there at the table; I don't know. As soon as I
-was out in the hall I knew what I was going to do. I squeezed in among
-the people and got to the door and skipped.
-
-As soon as I got home my father asked me did I take Mamie Little home;
-so I didn't say anything. I went right upstairs to bed. After while my
-father came up and asked me again if I had gone home with Mamie Little,
-so I said I hadn't; I said I didn't want to. I said her folks could take
-her home if they wanted to. So Father said he had a mind to lick me; but
-he didn't. So I guess Mamie Little got home all right. It wouldn't have
-helped her home if my father had licked me, but that's the way fathers
-are.
-
-The next morning, about four o'clock, me and Swatty and Bony went down
-to see the circus unload. We saw it. And then we went up to the circus
-grounds and saw the tent go up and everything. So Bony said:
-
-"Aw! Don't you wish you was going to the circus?"
-
-So I said he needn't be so smart, that I was going, because I had a
-ticket. So then I remembered that I had the twenty cents my mother had
-given me to buy the ice cream with, only I hadn't spent it because I
-came away so quick. So I told Swatty he could have the ticket, because
-I had twenty-five cents to get into the circus with. So Swatty was glad.
-He said he'd be my Dutch uncle as long as I lived, and that the first
-dollar he saw rolling uphill he'd pay me back, if he could catch it.
-
-Well, we walked downtown with the parade and saw it, and walked back to
-the circus grounds with it. Me and Swatty and Bony was the first to go
-into the tent. We were right up against the rope when the ticket taker
-let it down. So we hurried right through, because a lot of folks was
-pushing behind us. The ticket taker yelled something at us, but I didn't
-hear what it was and we scooted for the menagerie tent.
-
-When we were looking at the ostriches in their cage Swatty got close
-beside me and said: "Lookee here!"
-
-I looked down, and he had his ticket in his hand yet, because that was
-why the ticket taker had yelled at us. Swatty had sneaked in without
-giving his ticket.
-
-"What did you do that for?" I said.
-
-"Because I'm hungry," he said.
-
-"You can't eat your ticket," I said.
-
-"You wait and you'll see," he said, so then we went into the big tent
-and we climbed up to the top row. When we poked our heads out we could
-see right down where the ticket taker was taking tickets and all the
-people were crowding to get in. Right down below us on the ground a bum,
-or tent man, was asleep on his face with his arm under his head. His
-coat was beside him. He was breathing hard.
-
-So then Swatty leaned out as far as he could and waved the ticket he
-had, and called out who wanted to buy a ticket for a quarter. That was
-just like Swatty anyhow. He was pretty slick. So pretty soon a man
-said he'd buy the ticket, and he tossed a quarter up to Swatty. With a
-quarter we could get enough peanuts to keep alive until supper time.
-
-Me and Swatty and Bony was just going to draw our heads in when we saw
-Jimmy and Annie. I was going to yell at them when I saw something that
-made me forget to yell. Swatty saw it, too.
-
-There was a man standing by the ropes that made the narrow place people
-had to go through, but he was outside of the ropes on our side, and just
-when Jimmy came opposite him and got a step past him his hand went out
-like a flash and something dropped on the ground and the bum slid out
-his hand and grabbed what had dropped, and slid it under the coat
-and went on pretending he was asleep. The man by the ropes had picked
-Jimmy's wallet out of his pocket.
-
-Well, I didn't know it, but Jimmy had all the money he was going to buy
-a farm with in that wallet. It was circus day, and he didn't dare leave
-it at home, because of thieves; so he brought it with him.
-
-I didn't think of anything to do, and neither did Bony, but Swatty did.
-He looked down, and then slid one leg and then the other over the wall
-of the tent and hung there a second and looked down. He hand-over-handed
-a reach or two and then gave himself a sort of push and let go. He came
-down right on the bum's head, straddle of his neck, and yelled: "Police!
-Police!" Only he yelled it "Porlice! Porlice!" like he always says it. I
-guess the bum was surprised, but he reached up and grabbed Swatty.
-
-It wasn't a fair fight, Swatty against a man, but it was a good one
-while it lasted. Everybody on the top seats stuck their heads out and
-yelled, and everybody down where Swatty was came running. One of the
-town cops was first--the cross-eyed one--and he leveled a lick at the
-bum with his club and caught Swatty across his breeches, and Swatty
-yelled and let go of the bum. He could fight one bum but he couldn't
-fight a cross-eyed policeman with a club, too.
-
-The minute the bum got loose he dived under the tent. We saw him scutter
-along under the seats, and then we saw him come out away down the side
-of the tent and scoot. The cross-eyed cop started after him, but he
-never got him.
-
-Swatty didn't run. He just stood on the bum's coat, with his feet spread
-out, and in a minute Jimmy and a lot of folks were crowded around him.
-Then he lifted up the coat. We could see it all. Under the coat was
-Jimmy's wallet and about six more. Jimmy just dropped on his wallet and
-hugged it. He sort of blubbered and didn't know what to do, so he kissed
-Swatty, and Swatty hit out at him and hit him in the chest.
-
-By that time a circus man in uniform had come up. He had a big hickory
-club, peeled, and he pushed into the crowd. Behind him were four or five
-more circus men, but they had tent stakes.
-
-"What's this row?" he asked.
-
-Somebody started to tell him. The man that took the wallet from Jimmy
-was right there, and he turned away. So I shouted out:
-
-"Hey, mister! there's the man that took it."
-
-The circus man looked around and the thief started to hurry. He didn't
-have a chance to hurry much. The circus man made one jump for him and
-caught him by the collar and gave one jerk, and the thief's coat and
-vest came off and his shirt ripped right off him. The other circus men
-were on him. If it had been me it would have killed me, but I guess he
-was tough.
-
-When I turned around Mr. Little was standing right back of me. He had
-come up to see what it all was, so he could put it in his paper. When he
-saw it was me that had yelled, he said:
-
-"Why, hello, it's our gallant cavalier! These hard seats are no place
-for a lady's man; come on over in the reserved seats."
-
-"I can't," I said, "I've got to wait for Swatty." He didn't know who
-Swatty was, so I told him. So when Swatty came in we went over into the
-reserved seats, right in front of the middle ring. So Mr. Little asked
-Swatty all about it, and Swatty told him, and Mr. Little wrote it down
-and went downtown to his paper with it. He told Mrs. Little to take good
-care of the three heroes. He meant me and Swatty and Bony.
-
-So Jimmy and Annie got married. All Mamie Little ever said about my
-going home was:
-
-"I guess you think you were pretty smart, going home and letting Papa
-take me home and pay for the ice cream!"
-
-But that didn't hurt me any. Girls are always saying things like that.
-
-
-
-
-XII. THE RED AVENGERS
-
-Well, vacation got over, and school started again, and me and Swatty
-and Bony got promoted into the A Class in Miss Carter's room, and so did
-Mamie Little and Scratch-Cat. Lucy got promoted into the B Class in Miss
-Carter's room, and she hated Miss Carter. I guess the reason was because
-Miss Carter got in love with Herb Schwartz when Fan was mad at him.
-
-Anyway Miss Carter heard Lucy tell somebody that if Fan wanted Herb
-Miss Carter would never have got him, and that anybody could catch a
-second-hand fellow that a body had thrown away, so Miss Carter and
-Lucy didn't like each other. But I guess it was Lucy's fault, because I
-always liked Miss Carter all right. Most always.
-
-So school started again. Professor Martin came back with only a limp in
-his leg and Herb Schwartz stopped being a professor and was in Judge
-Hannan's law office all the time. He began smoking a curved pipe and
-wearing spectacles and his hair pompadour, because he would pretty soon
-be a lawyer, and he kept on going with Miss Carter, but I didn't care,
-because Fan had stopped dying of love. She was going with Tom Burton.
-
-We liked Tom Burton good enough--me and Swatty and Bony did--until the
-time Dad Veek's barn burned, but after that we didn't. We had it in for
-him after that.
-
-I guess old Dad Veek was a cabinet maker or something. Anyway, he
-used to work in his barn with a saw and a plane and he made a lot of
-shavings. His barn was level, but to make it level it had to be up on
-posts at the hind end because it was on a side hill, and that made a
-kind of cave under it, and sometimes me and Bony and Swatty, when we got
-tired playing in the creek, or it was raining, or we got cold skating,
-would go up there and maybe smoke com silk or maybe just talk. So we got
-all the shavings old Dad Veek swept out of his barn, and we made a kind
-of nest under the barn, and we called it that--the Nest.
-
-Dad Veek did not like to have us under his barn, because when we smoked
-com silk the smoke would go up between the boards of the floor and he
-would come out and chase us. He didn't like us much, anyway, for any
-boys, because there were grapevines between his barn and his house and
-he thought maybe when we thought he wasn't around we crawled through the
-fence and took some grapes. And we did. But only when they were ripe and
-we happened to be over there.
-
-So one night his barn burned down.
-
-I guess that don't sound like much, but it was a good deal more than it
-sounds like. You don't know about Toady Williams and the Red Avengers
-and the fire insurance inspector yet. The fire insurance inspector was
-a man who came over from Chicago and said old Dad Veek had set the barn
-afire to get the insurance money, and said he guessed he would put old
-Dad Veek in jail for it, because there was too much of that sort of
-thing just now, and it was time to learn somebody a lesson. And I guess
-nobody would have cared much if it hadn't been for Mrs. old Dad Veek.
-
-The reason my mother felt sorry for Mrs. old Dad Veek was because when
-my mother was a little girl Mrs. old Dad Veek's name was Tilly, and she
-worked for my mother's mother, and now she was a dear old lady and it
-was too bad her husband was going to jail. So she thought somebody ought
-to bestir themselves.
-
-Well, while my mother and the Ladies' Aid were bestirring themselves me
-and Bony and Swatty and Toady Williams were out in our barn, and I felt
-pretty bad, because it was tough to have my mother bestirring herself
-about that barn fire when the chances were that I would be one she would
-bestir into jail if she kept old Dad Veek out. Now you know that much,
-you can see why we felt pretty sick out there in my barn.
-
-It was winter when old Dad Veek's barn burned down, and it was about
-nine o'clock at night. I was going to bed because I had been skating all
-day. I wore boots to skate in, like all the fellows, and my boots kind
-of wrinkled around the ankles and they rubbed my ankles until they
-were raw. So about eight o'clock I said, "Aw, come on, Swatty! Let's go
-home!" but he wouldn't.
-
-"Well, if you won't go home with me I'm going up to the Nest and I'll
-wait for you up there," I said.
-
-So then Toady came up, and he asked where I was going and I told him I
-was going to the Nest, and he said he was going to skate some more, but
-Swatty and Bony said, "All right, we'll go up with you awhile." They
-didn't take off their skates. They walked up the hill to the barn on
-their skates and we sat awhile in the Nest under old Dad Veek's barn and
-smoked some com-silk cigarettes. Then Swatty and Bony wanted to skate
-some more, and they did and after a while I went home. Gee! but there
-was a raw spot on my ankle when I got my boot off! I was sitting on the
-edge of my bed looking at it, about nine o'clock, when the fire-house
-bell rang. Right away my mother came into my room and said:
-
-"George, there is a fire across the Square, and I think it is Mr. Veek's
-barn. You can go if you want to."
-
-I hid my raw ankle, because if my mother knew it was so bad she would
-n't let me skate any more until it got well, and I pulled on my boot and
-went to the fire.
-
-There was a pretty big crowd there already and the barn was burning
-bully. I found Swatty first and then we found Bony, and we watched until
-the fire burned out, and then we went home.
-
-The next day was Sunday, and when I got up I told my mother I had a
-headache, like I always told her Sunday mornings; but I had to go to
-Sunday school just the same. After dinner I went over to the ruins, and
-Swatty and Bony and Toady and a lot of folks were there. It was good to
-see and smell. When we got tired we went back to my yard, and it was too
-cold to go into the barn, so we went up to my room. As soon as the door
-was shut Swatty sat down on the edge of my bed and said:
-
-"Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!" You see it was like this: Me and Swatty
-and Toady and Bony were the Red Avengers. Maybe you never read the
-book--"The Red Avengers, or The Boy Heroes of the Trail"--but it is a
-bully book. It's a dime lib'ry, and if it hadn't been for Toady we
-would never have had it. There was one thing about Toady that was pretty
-good--he had lots of books. Dime lib'ry books. He got the new ones as
-fast as they were printed, and he read them behind his geography at
-school, and it was because he had them that we got to read "The Red
-Avengers." The Chief of the Red Avengers was a boy named Dick, and when
-he was a young and tender nursling his fond parents took him out West
-and they started a ranch that covered almost a whole state. They had
-millions of cattle, but a lot of Mexicans came and burned the ranch and
-Dick's parents were burned to death and Dick only escaped by creeping
-into the chaparral and hiding until he grew up into a sturdy youthhood.
-So then the Mexicans had divided up the ranch and had built houses and
-barns and things, and when Dick asked for the ranch back they laughed
-at him. So he got together a lot of true and faithful youths and started
-the Red Avengers of the Trail and whenever they came to one of the
-Mexican houses or bams they burned it down. Whenever anybody did
-anything mean to anybody in the band of the Red Avengers, Dick wrote a
-note saying the mean person's house would be burned at a certain minute,
-and the note would appear mysteriously on the door of the house. And the
-house burned down just as the Red Avengers said it would, and right on
-the minute.
-
-So me and Swatty and Bony we started a Red Avengers band. We swore a
-solemn oath never to divulge the secrets of the band or to tell what any
-of us did, and to follow the orders of the Chief, whate'er might betide.
-We had an election for Chief, and me and Swatty and Bony each got one
-vote, so we made Swatty the Chief. Swatty made us make him. So I was
-elected Secretary and Bony was elected Treasurer. The Secretary had
-to write the vengeance warnings and keep track of them in a memorandum
-book, so we wouldn't forget who we were going to be revenged on. The
-Treasurer didn't have anything to do. It was an easy job.
-
-We did all that one day out in our barn, and, just when we had the Red
-Avengers all fixed up, in came Toady. He wanted the dime lib'ry back.
-
-"Aw! come on, Toady!" Swatty said. "Let us keep it! You don't want it!"
-
-"Yes, I want it," said Toady.
-
-"All right for you, then, Toady!" Swatty said. "I was going to tell you
-something, but if you're going to be that mean I won't."
-
-"What was it?" he asked.
-
-"It's all right what it was!" said Swatty. "You'll never know! Think
-we'd tell you when you want your old dime lib'ry back? We won't ever
-tell him, will we, George? Will we, Bony?"
-
-So we said no, we wouldn't.
-
-So then Toady looked at us and his eyes popped out; but Swatty threw
-"The Red Avengers" book at him.
-
-"Take it!" he said. "We don't want it anyway. We know everything that's
-in it and we don't need it. Only, if your house burns down you'll know
-why. Garsh! here we were all ready to make you one of the band, and give
-you the oath, and elect you--what were we going to elect him, George?"
-"Librarian," I said.
-
-"Yah!" said Swatty, as if Toady made him sick. "That's the kind of a
-fellow you are!"
-
-So Toady didn't know what to do. He picked up the dime lib'ry and stood
-looking. So Swatty didn't pay any attention to him. He said to me:
-
-"Seckertary, write in the Book of Doom that the first house the Red
-Avengers will burn down will be Toady Williams's house, because he's a
-stingy-cat and took his tom, old, no-good dime lib'ry away from us!"
-
-Toady looked awhile. Then he said:
-
-"Oh, I didn't know you were going to make me a librarian. I didn't know
-you were going to do that. What do I have to do if I'm Librarian?"
-
-"Why, you keep charge of the library," I said. "You take an oath to keep
-and preserve it, in that starch box over there."
-
-"And then you can be one of the band and take the oath, and if anybody
-is mean to you we'll burn their houses down," said Swatty. So Toady said
-all right, he would be Librarian, and we gave him the oath, and he put
-"The Red Avengers" in the starch box, and we held a council. We talked
-about whose houses the Red Avengers ought to burn down first.
-
-I guess we all thought about Miss Carter first, because she had kept us
-in school after hours that very afternoon; but she lived in a boarding
-house and we couldn't burn down her room without burning down the rest
-of the house, so we thought we would just record her in the book and
-wait until she got married sometime, and had a house of her own, and
-then burn that down. We thought of everybody, but the one we thought
-was the meanest was old Dad Veek. So we wrote his name at the top of the
-list in my memorandum book, and we said we'd burn his barn, and that we
-would do it at nine of night on the eighteenth of December. I wrote the
-letter of warning that was to be stabbed onto his door with a dagger,
-because I was Secretary, and I wrote the date of revenge in the
-memorandum book, and we all went out and over to Veek's barn.
-
-We hid in the dead weeds at the side of the road and drew straws to see
-which of the Red Avengers had to go up and dagger the warning onto old
-Dad Veek's barn, and Bony drew the fatal straw; but of course he was
-afraid to do it, so Swatty did it. He sneaked through the fence into
-Veek's yard and up to the barn door. He didn't have a dagger, so he took
-a sort of splinter and ran it through the warning and stuck the point
-in a crack in the door, and scooted back to us. It was a daring deed,
-worthy of our fearless Chief, and we received him with silent cheers,
-because we had scarce hoped he would return from his perilous mission
-alive. (That's from the dime lib'ry book.)
-
-Well, that was pretty good, and we felt bully. I guess we would have
-gone ahead and put up some more warnings another day, but it turned cold
-that night and the skating got good and we forgot to be Red Avengers.
-You can't be everything all the time. We didn't think any more about it
-until the day after the fire. That was the Sunday we were up in my room
-and Swatty said:
-
-"Well, men, the Red Avengers have been true to their oath! The enemy's
-property lies in ruins!"
-
-So I said:
-
-"Yes, Chief, I carried out the orders of the band to the fullest. My
-trusty torch has laid the vermin's dwelling low."
-
-"You?" said Swatty. "You didn't do it. I did it." Toady was sitting on
-the window sill, and Bony was in a chair looking at a magazine. Toady
-just sat and popped his eyes at us.
-
-"Aw, now!" he said, "you didn't burn that barn down, either of you.
-You're just fooling."
-
-Well, I guess that was a little too much for anybody to say, especially
-when he was a member of the Red Avengers himself.
-
-"I did, too!" I said. "I took my oath to do it, and I did it. Do you
-think I'd take my oath to do it, and then not do it? Of course I burned
-it down, when I said I would!"
-
-"Of course you would," said Swatty. "If you took your oath to burn down
-Veek's barn you'd do it. Only I was the one that took the oath; you
-wasn't. Toady had better not say I'd take an oath and then not do it!
-When you trust a job to the Chief of the Red Avengers it'll be done. At
-nine of night I sneaked up to old Dad Veek's barn--"
-
-"Ho! Nine!" I said. "Well, no wonder! No wonder you thought you did it,
-sneaking up at nine! Now I know why you thought you did it, when I was
-the one that really did it! Why, I wouldn't wait until nine when I had
-promised to set a barn afire at nine. I'd be afraid I might not get the
-match lit in time, or something. I was there at a quarter of nine, and I
-had the barn on fire long before nine." Swatty kind of looked at me.
-
-"Oh!" he said. "Whereabouts did you set the fire going?"
-
-I thought a minute.
-
-"Around at the far side, away from the road, Chief," I said.
-
-"Well, then, no wonder!" said Swatty. "That's why I didn't see you doing
-it. I set the side toward the road burning. So I guess I was the one
-that set the barn afire first, because it would take you a long time to
-go around the barn to the other side."
-
-"Maybe we both set it afire at the same time," I said.
-
-"All right, maybe we did," Swatty said. "Because," I said, "I ain't
-going to be cheated out of having set it afire by you or anybody,
-Swatty, when I went to all the trouble I did."
-
-"I know," said Swatty, "but you can't say I didn't set it afire, either,
-because when I was walking down to the creek from the West I turned my
-ankle and had to take my skates off and limp home. Ain't that so,
-Bony?" Bony said yes, it was. "And Bony thought I had really sprained my
-ankle," said Swatty, "but you know what I was up to. Throw 'em all off
-the track! Be alone so I could do the deed!"
-
-"Well, I guess we both did it at the same time," I said, and Swatty said
-he guessed we did, so that settled it. But when Swatty got ready to go
-home I whispered to him:
-
-"You didn't really do it, did you?"
-
-"No," he said, "I just wanted to make Toady and Bony think I did. I was
-in my kitchen putting arnica on my ankle. Did you really do it?"
-
-"Of course I didn't!" I said. "I was up here in my bedroom looking at my
-raw ankle. But we won't let on."
-
-"Sure not!" said Swatty.
-
-Well, pretty soon some of the fellows or somebody began saying maybe old
-Dad Veek would have to go to jail for setting his own barn afire, like
-I told you in the beginning. Then, after while, I heard my mother say
-to my father, that some of the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring
-themselves because they were sure that old Dad Veek wouldn't set his
-own barn afire, and they had asked Tom Burton to help them and he was
-helping. But one day we were up in my barn--me and Swatty and Bony--and
-Toady came up.
-
-He came up the stairs far enough to see into the hayloft, then he
-stopped and when we saw him he came on up. I said:
-
-"Hello, Toady!"
-
-"Hello!" he said.
-
-"What do you want?" I asked, because he hadn't been playing with us
-much.
-
-"Oh, I just thought I'd get my dime lib'ry," he said. "You don't want it
-any more, do you?"
-
-"No, we don't want it," I said, and he went to the starch box and got
-it, and he came over to where we were, and he said: "I guess you have
-n't set any more barns afire, have you?"
-
-"What barns?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Well, you did set one afire, didn't you?" said Toady. "You and George
-set Veek's afire, didn't you?"
-
-Swatty stood up then, all right! He stood up and folded his fists.
-
-"Who said we set Veek's barn afire?" he asked, and he was pretty mad.
-But I wasn't; I was just scared. It's incenderyism, or something like
-that, if you set a barn afire, and you get sent to reform school for
-life.
-
-"Who said it? I didn't say it," said Toady. "You said it. You and George
-said you did."
-
-Well, of course I hadn't been lying when I told Toady and Swatty and
-Bony how I had set Dad Veek's barn afire, but I had just been fooling.
-So I said:
-
-"Aw! I never said no such thing! I never either said I set it afire.
-Swatty said he set it afire. I couldn't have set it afire, because I was
-sitting on my bed when it got afire."
-
-So Swatty got mad. I guess he wanted to lick somebody, but he didn't
-know whether to lick me or to lick Toady.
-
-"Aw! I never either said I set it afire!" he said. "If anybody set it
-afire George did, because I was home, putting arnica on me, when the
-fire started."
-
-"Well, you said you did," I said. "You said so right up in my room. You
-did so."
-
-"I did not! You said you did."
-
-"I did not! I never said anything like it. If anybody said he set Veek's
-barn afire, Swatty said it."
-
-"Aw! I did not!" Swatty said. "You said it. You said it. You said you
-took a torch, and went around to the far side and set the barn afire.
-I heard you say it. And you said I couldn't have set the barn afire
-because you had it all afire before I got there. Didn't he say that,
-Toady?"
-
-Well, I guess Toady knew mighty well that if he was going to get
-mallered for saying either of us said it he had better say I said it,
-because Swatty could lick any of us. So he said I did say it.
-
-So I went for him and mallered him as much as I could. I got so mad I
-cried, and I guess I kicked him. Not Swatty, Toady. So when I got tired
-I was still mad, and I sat down on a box and cried. Then Toady sneaked
-over to the stairs and went part way down, and just before he was out of
-sight he looked back.
-
-"Cry-baby!" he said, and that meant me. Then he said: "All right, you'd
-better look out! You both said you did it, and you both said you said
-it, and Dad Veek's got that Red Avengers' notice you fastened on his
-barn door and Tom Burton knows all about it."
-
-Gee, we were scared! I was so scared I didn't throw anything at Toady,
-and Swatty was so scared he just said: "Garsh!" and stood there. Well,
-me and Swatty we talked it over.
-
-We knew we hadn't set the barn afire, but we knew we had said we had,
-and we knew old Dad Veek would do 'most anything to keep out of jail,
-and that my mother and the Ladies' Aid ladies were bestirring. So then
-we knew why Toady had come up to get us to say again we had done it; he
-was one of the Red Avengers and unless we said we had set the barn afire
-ourselves all the Red Avengers would be sent to reform school, and he
-wanted to get out of it and had gone and told Tom Burton about us and
-the Red Avengers and that we had set the barn afire.
-
-"Garsh!" said Swatty, "he took the memorandum book you had old Veek's
-barn wrote down at the top of the list of!"
-
-And he had! So Bony sort of doubled down in his corner and cried, but
-me and Swatty sat down on a box to think and talk and see what we had
-better do.
-
-Well, the way Tom Burton had gone to work to help my mother and the
-Ladies' Aid ladies who were bestirring themselves, was this: He found
-out that the reason old Dad Veek had so much insurance was because he
-was a slow worker, and sometimes he had the barn almost full of stuff he
-was working on, and then it was worth as much as it was insured for. So
-that helped some. Then old Dad Veek showed him the Red Avengers' warning
-Swatty had fastened on his barn door, and that was pretty bad, because
-the time it said the barn would burn down was the time it did burn.
-
-I guess he might have thought it was some men or something, if it hadn't
-been for the name of the Red Avengers. It sounded like boys. So Tom
-Burton found out there was a dime lib'ry named "The Red Avengers,"
-because one was hanging in Toady Williams's father's store window, and
-then he knew it was boys. So he asked Toady Williams if he knew anything
-about it, and Toady went and told him. He told him me and Swatty and
-Bony was the Red Avengers and that we had set the barn afire.
-
-We found all that out mighty soon, because it wasn't half an hour after
-Toady went out of the barn before Tom Burton came up. The tattle-tale
-had gone right to him.
-
-Tom Burton came up and he stood and talked to us. He told us he knew
-all about the Red Avengers and that he had our memorandum book with Dad
-Veek's name in it and everything, and that he knew who had written the
-memorandum book, and the notice that was daggered on Dad Veek's door,
-and everything, and he asked us which one of us done it. Gee, I was
-scared! But none of us said anything. Maybe we were too scared to.
-
-So then he said, "All right! it will only be a little while before all
-will be known, and the one that did it will surely be sent to reform
-school, so the other two, that didn't do it, had better tell on the one
-that did do it."
-
-But none of us said anything. So he talked awhile and then he went away.
-Me and Bony didn't say anything.
-
-"Garsh!" Swatty said. "It's mighty bad."
-
-Me and Bony didn't say anything yet. We was too scared. Bony began to
-blubber.
-
-"You don't need to cry," Swatty told him. "You ain't going to be sent to
-reform school. You didn't do it."
-
-"Well--well," Bony blubbered. "You and Georgie didn't do it, either."
-
-"Well, it don't matter whether we did it or didn't do it," Swatty said.
-"We wrote down that we were going to do it, and they've got the warning
-and the memorandum book, and we both said we'd done it ourselves, and we
-both said the other had done it, and I guess they'll send us to reform
-school." Bony kept on blubbering, so we told him he had better go home
-if he was a cry-baby, and he went. So then Swatty said:
-
-"I guess it ain't much use; but we've got to say, no matter how they ask
-us, that we ain't the Red Avengers."
-
-"That'd be a lie," I said.
-
-"Well, no, it wouldn't," said Swatty, "because there won't be any Red
-Avengers, and we'll say, 'No, we ain't!' and that'll be the truth,
-because we won't be then. We'll bust up the Red Avengers right now."
-
-So we took a vote and voted that we were not the Red Avengers any more
-and that we never had been the Red Avengers. So that settled that, but
-it didn't make us feel much better. We sat and thought awhile and then
-Swatty said:
-
-"I know! Georgie, you can ask Fan to tell Tom Burton to let us go free."
-
-"Aw! that won't do any good," I said.
-
-And I didn't think it would, but Swatty said it was our only chance, so
-I said I would ask Fan, and I did. I hated to, but I did it.
-
-
-
-
-XIII. THE ICE GOES OUT
-
-First, of course, I made Fan promise she would never tell, hope to die
-and cross her heart, and she promised, and then I told her all about the
-Red Avengers and how, if we did set Dad Veek's barn afire we didn't mean
-to, and she said she would talk to Tom Burton about it, but she said Tom
-Burton was stubborn and she would have to wait until she had the right
-chance. She was nicer than she had ever been to me.
-
-"Have you told anybody else?" she asked me.
-
-"No," I said.
-
-"Did Swatty tell his brother Herbert?" she asked.
-
-"No. Nobody has told anybody," I said.
-
-Well, me and Swatty felt pretty bad and scared and sick, and one reason
-was that Bony stopped playing with us. His father found out about the
-Red Avengers and made him promise he wouldn't play with me and Swatty
-any more because we were bad boys and would ruin Bony. So we never
-expected to play with Bony again, but we did, and this was how it
-happened.
-
-Bony's father and mother used to fight like everybody else, and about
-bills, because they were having a fight like that when Bony's father
-took the shotgun and went away from home. I guess it was a hat Bony's
-mother had bought that was the worst, but Bony wasn't sure. He said
-they began to fight when the grocery bill came and fought harder and
-harder the more bills there were, but it wasn't until the hat bill came
-that Bony's father stopped sassing back, and got solemn and quiet and
-said that sometimes he felt that it was no use trying to keep up the
-struggle against poverty and starvation, and that sometimes when these
-evidences of extravagance came in he felt just like going off somewhere
-by himself and ending everything. So then Bony's mother said, "Oh!
-nonsense!" and pretty soon Bony's father got his shotgun and went out of
-the house.
-
-So Bony just sat there in the room expecting every minute to hear the
-shotgun and to run out and see his father dead in the stable. He sat
-there and pretended to be studying his geography lesson for Monday, but
-all he was doing was listening to hear the shot. It was a mighty mean
-job, I guess, sitting there listening like that, and waiting to hear his
-father kill himself; but he didn't hear anything.
-
-So pretty soon he shut up his hook and sort of tiptoed out of the house,
-but he did not dare go near the stable. He didn't know what to do. He
-went out on the front steps and stood there, and pretty soon he saw me
-and Swatty at the corner, and he waved to us and came running, and we
-waited for him.
-
-It was January, but it wasn't cold because we were having a thaw. It was
-good snow to make snowballs of, so when Bony started to come toward us
-we made a few snowballs and just threw them at him. I guess we hit him
-five or six times, but he didn't beller for us to stop, like he usually
-does; he put his arm in front of his face and came right on. When he got
-too close for us to throw at him any more we stopped and then we saw he
-was crying.
-
-"Aw, shut up and don't be a baby!" Swatty said; "we didn't hurt you."
-But Bony kept right on bawling. He didn't bawl the way a cowardy-calf
-bawls when he gets hurt, he bawled like--well, I guess he bawled like
-a fellow bawls when his father has gone off with a shotgun to shoot
-himself. So then we didn't tell him to shut up any more. Swatty said:
-
-"What's the matter, Bony?"
-
-So then Bony put his arm up against a tree and cried into it, and after
-he had cried awhile he said:
-
-"My--my fath-father's out in the barn sh-shooting himself with his
-shotgun!"
-
-"He ain't neither!" Swatty said, and I said it too.
-
-"He is, too, killing himself!" Bony said, and he blubbered at the same
-time. "You needn't think, just because your fath-fathers don't kill
-themselves, nobody else's father never kik-kills himself! My fa-father
-said he'd kik-kill himself, and if he said so he w-will!"
-
-"Aw! He ain't neither killing himself in the barn!" Swatty said, and I
-guess that made Bony mad, because it was like saying Bony's father was
-a liar, or that Bony was, anyway. Mostly Bony wouldn't fight, no matter
-what you said, because he's a cow-ardy-calf; but I guess when a fellow's
-father is killing himself in a barn or anywhere he don't care what
-happens to him, so Bony was so mad he forgot how easy Swatty could lick
-him, and he sort of howled like a cat when you step on its tail and
-he pitched into Swatty with both fists. So Swatty had to lick him. He
-licked him good. So when Swatty had him down and was sitting on him,
-Swatty said:
-
-"Now is your father killing himself in the barn?"
-
-"Yes, he is!" Bony blubbered, and then we knew that Bony's father was
-really going to kill himself, because if Bony hadn't been pretty sure
-he would have said he wasn't, because he knew how Swatty can push a
-fellow's nose into his face with the bottom of his hand when he has got
-him down and he don't say what Swatty wants him to say. So we knew it
-must be pretty serious. So Swatty didn't push Bony's nose, but he said:
-
-"Well, your father ain't killing himself in the barn, because he went by
-here a little while ago with his shotgun. How do you know he's going to
-kill himself?"
-
-"I know it because him and Mother was fighting over bills, and he said
-he would," Bony said.
-
-So then Swatty said, aw! he didn't believe anybody would kill himself
-because he was fighting over bills. He said he didn't believe any
-grown-up man would fight over a little thing like bills; so that made me
-mad, and I said, aw! any man would fight over bills, and that my father
-did, and that my father was a better man than Swatty's father any day in
-the week and could lick Swatty's father any time they wanted to try it.
-And that was true, and Swatty knew it, because my father was bigger than
-his father and not so old. So Swatty said, aw! well, his oldest brother
-could lick my father, anyway. So I said he'd better try it if he wanted
-to find out, and Swatty said, Aw! And I guess that's all we said about
-that.
-
-Anyway, it didn't seem to make Bony feel any better that his father
-had taken his shotgun and had gone off somewhere else to kill himself
-instead of killing himself right at home in the barn. He kept right on
-with a kind of whine-blubber, even when Swatty and me were jawing, so
-Swatty said:
-
-"Aw! what you bellerin' about?"
-
-"I'll--I'll beller if I want to," Bony said. "I guess you'd beller if
-your father was going to kill himself, you would."
-
-"I would not so!" Swatty said. "What's the use of bellerin' when you
-can't do nothing about it? If he's going to kill himself, he's going to,
-and you can't help it. If my father was going to do what you said
-your father was going to do I'd let him do it, and I wouldn't spoil
-everybody's fun by bawling about it. I'd just go ahead and play like
-nothing was going to happen, until I had to go in and dress for the
-funeral."
-
-Well, I guess that wasn't a very good thing for Swatty to say, because
-it made Bony blubber more than ever. So then Swatty got sore and
-disgusted and he said:
-
-"Aw! shut up, then, and we'll go and find your father and take the
-shotgun away from him, if you 're going to be a baby about it!"
-
-That's the way Swatty always is; me or Bony would never think of going
-and taking a shotgun away from a father that wanted to kill himself, and
-if we did think of it we would never dare to do it; but Swatty wouldn't
-care who he took a shotgun away from if he got mad because somebody
-bellered about nothing. So we knew he'd do it if we went along. So we
-went along.
-
-When we saw Bony's father go by with the shotgun he was going toward
-downtown, so me and Bony and Swatty started toward downtown, and we
-talked about where Bony's father would probably go to kill himself if he
-didn't want to kill himself in his barn, and none of us thought he would
-go downtown to do it because somebody might see him start to do it and
-stop him. So we talked about it and we made up our minds we would go
-over into the Illinois bottom, across the Mississippi, because a man
-once went over there to kill himself, and did it and nobody bothered him
-while he was doing it or knew about it until afterward.
-
-Of course the ferry wasn't running, but it was easy enough for Bony's
-father to get across the river because the ice was frozen and the river
-was closed and he could go over on the ice.
-
-We went down to the river. There was a good deal of water on the ice in
-some places, and the snow was mushy everywhere on it and it was pretty
-bad walking. I guess you know what the river is like when it is closed.
-There is a lot of snow on it because nobody shovels it off, and they
-couldn't if they tried, because the river is three quarters of a mile
-wide there, and there's no place to shovel the snow to, and it's just as
-good right where it is as it would be anywhere else.
-
-But before the thaw comes the snow blows off some of the smooth places
-and banks up against the rough places on the ice in drifts. The river
-don't freeze over all at once--the ice floats down and jams and stops
-and the bare places between freeze over; but when the ice jams, it
-crumples up on the edges and makes ridges, and it is where the ridges
-are that the snow banks up into drifts. Sometimes the drifts are all
-around a smooth sheet of ice, and then when the snow begins to melt, the
-smooth ice turns into a sort of pond, and maybe the water on top of the
-ice is an inch deep and maybe it is more.
-
-Here and there there are air holes, because I guess a river has to
-breathe like anybody else and the air holes are where it breathes. They
-are different sizes.
-
-Well, the road across the river on the ice is always crooked. The
-farmers over in Illinois make the road to bring over cordwood and hay
-and stuff, because they can bring it over on the ice free and it costs
-twenty-five cents a load when the ferry is running.
-
-So the first farmer that dares drive across on the ice starts out from
-the Illinois shore, and he starts straight, but pretty soon he has to
-curve around a drift, and then he has to curve around an air hole, and
-then he has to go around a piece of ice that looks thin, and by the
-time he has got to town he has made a crooked road; and the next farmer
-drives in the same path, because the first farmer's horses' shoes have
-roughed it up a little and made it easier to travel.
-
-So that is how the road gets made, and before very long it gets to be
-quite a road. It gets dark and dirty from the horses and the dirt off
-the cordwood and maybe some coal the farmers take home, and there are
-wisps of hay all along, rubbed off loads when they passed other teams.
-
-By the time the thaw comes, a good deal of the river in front of town
-gets so you know how it looks, just like the town itself. The wood
-road goes zigzagging across, and maybe--if it is a cold winter--the
-trotting-horse men have a speed track on the ice that is different from
-the wood road and marked off to show a mile. Wagon loads of waste stuff
-get dumped on the ice in piles and maybe a dozen or two dozen dead
-horses. You get so you know how it looks, and you get to feeling as if
-the river had always been frozen over and had always looked like that.
-Maybe you have names for things, so anybody like Swatty or Bony knows
-what you mean when you say: "You know, where the wood road comes nearest
-to the horseshoe air hole."
-
-Well, it was pretty mushy when we started across the river. It was warm,
-too, warm enough to make us sweat; but there was a good breeze blowing
-from the Illinois shore and it wasn't as warm as it might have been.
-But, anyway, it was warm. Swatty showed us where to go. He went first
-and we went behind him, and pretty soon we were far off the wood road
-because wherever there was a drier place he went that way.
-
-When we got out toward the middle of the river, away from the town dirt,
-I wished we hadn't come. Out there the ice hadn't been cut up by being
-skated on, and there were whole big places where the ice was perfectly
-smooth and green and clear, and with the snow water on top of it we
-couldn't tell whether it was ice or air hole. We had to walk on the snow
-close to the ridges, because there we knew there was ice under us, even
-if we did wade through slush up to our knees. It was scary enough for
-anybody and Bony began to cry.
-
-I guess we would have gone back if it hadn't been for Swatty, and even
-Swatty didn't tell Bony to shut up and stop crying. I guess Swatty felt
-pretty scared himself. You couldn't see anybody on the ice anywhere; we
-were the only ones. I guess everybody was afraid to go on the ice, it
-was getting so rotten. That's what I thought then, but it wasn't the
-reason; Swatty knew the real reason, but he didn't tell us then because
-he was afraid we would be more scared than we were. Nobody was on the
-ice because they were afraid it might go out any minute.
-
-So all Swatty did was to say, "Hurry up!" because he was afraid if we
-didn't hurry up maybe the ice would go out before we got across, and
-nobody likes to get drowned in ice water.
-
-So pretty soon we came to a place where there wasn't any snow and where
-there were no ridges--nothing but clear ice with water on it, and the
-wind making little ripples. Bony cried, and I said, "Aw! let's go back,
-Swatty!" because you couldn't tell whether it was ice under that water
-or air hole. Swatty looked all around, but he couldn't see any way to
-get to Illinois but to cross right over. Neither could any of us. So
-Swatty said:
-
-"All right for you! You and Bony can let his father kill himself if you
-want to; but I won't, and when I get back I'll lick you both."
-
-Well, we didn't care if he did lick us. We'd rather be licked than be
-drowned. So Swatty said:
-
-"Aw! Come on! I wouldn't have come if I thought you were a couple of
-cry-baby cowardy-calves. I'll dare you to come!"
-
-But we didn't. So Swatty said:
-
-"I double tribble dare you, and whoever don't take the dare is a
-sooner!"
-
-Well, a sooner was the worst thing anybody could call you; even Bony
-would fight if you called him a sooner, but we didn't care what he
-called us; but just then we heard a gun go off over in the woods, and
-before either of us could stop him Bony started. He ran right out on the
-wet ice, crying and blubbering, and he fell down in the water and got
-up again and ran on. Every little while he would fall down, but he would
-get right up and run again. The water was almost up to his knees, but
-he didn't care. I guess he kind of liked his father and wanted to get to
-him.
-
-Swatty shouted and told him to stop and come back, or anyway to wait for
-us, but Bony ran right on. Swatty shouted:
-
-"Hey, Bony! come back, I was only fooling! Your father ain't going to
-kill himself."
-
-Because Swatty knew Bony's father wasn't going to kill himself, but he
-was afraid Bony would be drowned. He just wanted us to cross the river
-because nobody had ever crossed it when the ice was so rotten and we
-would be the first that ever did it, and he knew we wouldn't do it
-unless we thought we were going to save Bony's father, or something. So
-all we could do was to go after Bony, and we did. We waded through the
-water after Bony, and I was glad Bony had gone first because we were
-sure there was no air hole where Bony had been ahead of us.
-
-But I made Swatty give me his hand anyway. I didn't like it much. I
-didn't like it any.
-
-Well, we got across, and before we got across Bony had reached the shore
-ice. It was pretty rotten and it rubbered down under him, and if he
-hadn't been running so fast I guess he would have broken through. Then
-he stopped and looked, because between him and the shore was a wide open
-space--no ice, nothing but water. He just stopped and looked, and then
-looked back at us and then he ran to the edge of the ice, and it broke
-under him and he was in water up to his arms. It was because there was a
-long sandbar reached out from the shore there; if not he would have been
-drowned. So he walked through the water about half a block and me and
-Swatty went after him. Gee, it was cold!
-
-When we got ashore Bony was up in the woods and we could hear him
-shouting, "Papa! Papa!" and crying, too. It was kind of a sick shout,
-part cry and part shout. It sounded like "Pwaw-pwa! Uh-uh! Pwaw-pa!" and
-then "_Pwaw_-pwa! _Pwaw_-pwa!" and then "Uh-uh-uh!" like a little kid
-cries when it has lost a penny it meant to get candy with and has cried
-all the way home.
-
-All of a sudden we heard the shotgun again. It was toward down-river and
-not near us at all. Bony heard it, too, and he stopped to listen and we
-caught up with him. I guess he was as good as crazy, because when we got
-to him he started to run, and he ran right into a grapevine tangle and
-began pulling and pushing through it, although he could have taken ten
-steps and have gone around it. I guess he must have liked his father a
-lot to get so crazy about him. Swatty went right after him. He swore at
-him in German and told him that the way was to go out on the shore where
-the sand was, so he could run faster. So Bony went and we went, too, and
-we all ran.
-
-We didn't say much. Swatty kept telling Bony what kind of a fool he was
-for thinking his father was going to kill himself, and Bony kept sobbing
-and running. I guess maybe I cried a little, too. I felt kind of--I
-don't know--frightened, I guess. So then we got around the bend, and all
-at once we saw Bony's father.
-
-He was out on the ice. When we saw him first he was about as far out on
-the ice as two blocks would be, and he had on his rubber boots and his
-hunting coat, and it looked bulged around the pockets, so me and Swatty
-knew he had been hunting and had got two rabbits, or maybe three. We
-guessed that what had happened was that when he got sick of fighting
-about bills he went hunting, to forget about it, because Swatty's
-father--when he felt that way--went down to his tailor shop and sewed
-coats or pants, and when my father felt that way he would go out and
-split wood or maybe clean out the barn. But I guess Bony's father
-thought he'd go hunting. I guess maybe he thought he'd like to kill
-something.
-
-When we saw him out on the ice he was walking fast, or sort of running,
-going toward the Iowa shore, but that wasn't what scared us. What
-scared us was that the ice was moving!
-
-We didn't see it at first. Bony was yelling at his father, and his
-father heard him and turned and looked back, and then started to run
-toward us. Where we were, at the bend, the ice came close in to the high
-bank and on the ice there was a limb of a big tree. Somebody had made
-a fire under it and it was partly burned. Bony ran up and down the bank
-looking for a good place to climb down, but Swatty was going to slide
-down right there and let his feet get on that old dead limb. But when
-Bony's father saw Bony running up and down he shouted to Jim, "Back!
-Back!" Swatty looked at Bony's father to see why he was shouting that.
-Then he looked down at the old limb again. It had moved along!
-
-Well, you bet he was frightened for a minute! He wasn't thinking of the
-ice, he was thinking of that dead branch, and for a dead branch to start
-and move like that isn't natural. He felt the way you feel when you go
-to pick up a stick and it is a live snake. For a minute he just stood
-and held his breath and was scared, and then he saw it wasn't the dead
-limb that was moving but the ice, and he grabbed my arm and pointed. And
-just then the fire-whistle on the waterworks over in town began to blow.
-
-That was a sure sign the ice was going out, It was to let folks know
-so they could come down and see the ice go out because, you bet, it is
-worth seeing. You can't tell what the ice will do when it starts to go
-out.
-
-So then we knew the ice must be going out faster on the Iowa side than
-on our side. What Bony's father was trying to say and do was to tell us
-to keep off the ice, and to get off it himself; but he did not have to
-tell us much because before he got close enough for us to hear him much
-the ice was making such a noise we couldn't hear him at all. And he
-couldn't get off! The ice began to pile up against the upper side of the
-bend, shearing itself off and sliding on top of itself and leaving a big
-open space below the bend.
-
-Well, I guess Bony cried then! And he had something to cry about that
-time. His father came running as near as he could to us, but it wasn't
-very near, because the ice near shore was cracking up into big pieces.
-He ran up-stream on the ice, shouting to us all the time, but the ice
-was going downstream, and at last it floated down so there was an air
-hole opposite us and he had to stop. I say he had to stop, but he kept
-going, because the ice carried him on down the river. He looked all
-around, and then waved his arm at us and started to run toward the Tow
-Head.
-
-The Tow Head is a big island in the river but nearer Iowa than Illinois,
-where we were. The wind was pushing the ice over that way, and I guess
-he thought maybe he could get off the ice on the Tow Head if he could
-get there before the ice carried him by.
-
-Bony's father ran around the air hole and kept running up and across,
-and he ran hard; but by that time the ice was going pretty fast, so me
-and Swatty and Bony got down to the sand and ran down-stream as fast
-as we could. Or maybe not as fast as we could; we kept even with Bony's
-father. He was running up-stream but he was going downstream all the
-time.
-
-Pretty soon the old race track the men had made on the ice went by, and
-then the end of the wood road went by. It was funny to think that me and
-Bony and Swatty were running one way and Bony's father the other way,
-and that we kept right opposite each other. But it wasn't very funny,
-because we all thought Bony's father would be drowned.
-
-Well, the ice went past the Tow Head. It went past before Bony's father
-was halfway to the Tow Head, and he stopped running and stood still.
-Then he turned and started to run toward us again.
-
-On our side of the river the water between the shore and the ice was
-getting wider and wider, because the river was wider here and because
-the wind was blowing the ice toward the Iowa shore. If I had been Bony's
-father I would have run for the Iowa shore because the ice was pushing
-up against it, but it would have been foolish because the Tow Head was
-like a knife and split all the ice as it came to it. Nobody could get
-across from where Bony's father was to the Iowa shore, but I did
-not think of that. But Bony's father did. So did Swatty. He said so
-afterward. He said he would have done just what Bony's father did.
-
-Bony was crying, of course, and he was running in front, because he
-wanted to see his father drowned if he was drowned, I guess. I was next,
-but Swatty was behind because he had stopped to look, and that was the
-way we were when we came to the mouth of the First Slough. The ice was
-rubbery, but Bony and me ran across and up the bank and in through the
-woods--you have to, there--and kept right on as soon as we came out on
-the shore.
-
-Bony's father was getting nearer and nearer, but the stretch of water
-was getting wider. It was too wide for anybody to swim, of course. I
-felt kind of sick. I don't know why--I guess it was because I thought,
-all at once, that I was running like that just to see a man drown in the
-river, and it made me sick. I shouted to Bony, but he kept on running
-and then I looked at Bony's father.
-
-He was still running, but he had his hand in the air and he was waving
-a white handkerchief, and then he put it in his pocket and just ran.
-Pretty soon I looked back for Swatty, and I saw him!
-
-He wasn't on the shore. He--but that's what Swatty is like. He was in a
-skiff, rowing as hard as he could toward the ice!
-
-Bony and me had run across the First Slough without thinking of anything
-but hurrying up, but Swatty, when he came to the Slough, thought, "Well,
-if anybody has a boat around here they would haul it into the Slough
-where the river ice wouldn't sweep it away or crush it." So he just took
-a look, and there was a skiff. It was hauled up under a tree and
-padlocked to the tree. It looked as if it was there for good and all,
-but when Swatty looked at the boat the chain was just stapled into the
-boat and all he did was pry out the staple with a piece of driftwood.
-There were no oarlocks, but you can make a thole pin with a piece of
-wood, and that was what Swatty did. He made thole pins with pieces of
-driftwood and he pried the skiff down to the ice and slid it to the
-river, and then he jumped in and began rowing with two pieces of
-driftwood for oars.
-
-I shouted to Bony and he stopped, and we turned back and ran. Swatty was
-n't trying to keep up with the ice, he was trying to get to it any way
-he could, and he was having a pretty hard time of it. First one thole
-pin broke and then the other and he had to paddle. I thought he'd never
-reach the ice.
-
-[Illustration: 316]
-
-Even Bony stopped crying.
-
-Well, Swatty got to the ice, but he couldn't land on it. He just sort of
-hugged it with the boat, and Bony and me had to run again to keep even
-with him. Then Bony's father came to the edge of the ice and tried it
-carefully with his foot, but it was firm because all the weak ice had
-been scraped off at the bend. So all he did was to get into the boat. It
-was easy. Then he took one of the pieces of driftwood and helped Swatty
-paddle.
-
-So then everything was all right and Bony's father wasn't drowned or
-hadn't shot himself or anything, so Bony began to cry again.
-
-It took us a long time to get the boat back where it belonged and a
-longer time to walk back to opposite the town. It was dark when we got
-there and the ice was still going by, and we knew it might be a week
-before we could get across the river again; but all at once we heard a
-rifle or a shotgun across the river, and then Bony's father fired his,
-and that let them know he was all right. So then we all worked and
-built a big driftwood fire and when it was burning we walked in front of
-it--one, two, three, four, and then back again: one, two, three, four.
-We hoped they could see there were four of us and that we were all
-right.
-
-And they did, because right away somebody shot off a pistol--one, two,
-three, four. That meant they knew there were four of us.
-
-Well, it was two days before we could get across the river again, but we
-got our meals at a house up on the bluff and slept in their barn, and it
-was good enough fun.
-
-When Bony got home his father said:
-
-"Mother, look at this young hero! If it hadn't been for those boys I
-would be dead this minute. Now, stop crying over him, and go and make
-him the biggest lemon meringue pie he ever saw!"
-
-So I guess Bony felt all right. But when I got home Mother said:
-
-"Well, thank goodness you 're back! That child--Mamie Little--has
-pestered the life out of me ever since you went away. For mercy's sake,
-run over and tell her you're home again!"
-
-That was all right, but the best was that Bony's father wasn't mad at
-us any more and he talked with us about Dad Veek's barn. He was pretty
-solemn about it, and when we had told him all we wanted to he said it
-looked serious, but he would help us all he could, and the first thing
-he did was to go to Judge Hannan's office and see Herb Schwartz. So he
-found that Herb was already bestirring himself, but when Bony's father
-talked to him he said he would bestir himself more than ever.
-
-
-
-
-XIV. HERB BESTIRS
-
-Well, the first thing Herb Schwartz did was to ask me and Swatty to go
-down to Judge Hannan's office after school one day and we went. Bony
-didn't go because Herb didn't want him to, and when we went in the
-office Herb was sitting at a desk and he turned around in his chair
-and told us to sit down. So we did. We thought maybe the first thing
-he would tell us was that we were doomed and plumb goners, and how many
-years we'd have to be in reform school, but he didn't. He looked at me
-and said:
-
-"Well, George, how is your sister Frances?"
-
-"She's pretty good, I guess," I told him.
-
-"That's nice," he said. "And how do you like having that Burton fellow
-of hers bestirring himself around to put you in reform school."
-
-"I don't know," I said. "I guess I don't like it very well."
-
-"I shouldn't think you would," he said. "But I suppose your sister
-Frances likes it."
-
-"She does not!" I said.
-
-"That's strange," he said. "She thinks you are a totally depraved young
-reprobate, don't she? It seems to me that the last conversation I had
-with her she said that, or words to that effect. I supposed she was the
-one that set that Burton fellow on you."
-
-"No, she didn't!" I said. "My mother did."
-
-"Oh! your mother did, did she?" Herb asked, but he grinned.
-
-"No, she didn't either," I said. "All she did was to get Tom Burton to
-bestir himself, so Dad Veek wouldn't go to jail or anything. She didn't
-know he was going to bestir himself against me and Swatty. My mother
-don't want me to go to reform school. And Fan don't."
-
-So then Herb asked Swatty if, for goodness' sake! he couldn't sit still
-without knocking his heels against his chair. Then he said to me:
-
-"Is it possible that your sister believes you are capable of
-regeneration?"
-
-"I don't know what it is," I told him, "but I guess so."
-
-"I mean," Herb said, "she thinks there may be some good in you after
-all, does she?"
-
-"Yes, sir," I said.
-
-So then he laughed and shook his head as if it was funny. I guess I knew
-why. I guess it was because the reason Fan had thrown his ring at him
-was because he said I was some good and she said I wasn't, and now she
-thought the way he thought.
-
-Then Herb sobered up and asked about the fire and we told him
-everything, even about the Red Avengers. He asked questions and we
-answered them, and he seemed to know almost more about it than we did.
-He knew about what we told Toady Williams when we were just bragging and
-that we had bragged that we had set the barn afire.
-
-"But that was just pretend," I said.
-
-"A mighty bad kind of pretend," Herb said, and he asked us some more
-questions. He would look at some papers on his desk and then ask some
-more questions. When he got through asking he said: "Well, if the case
-has to go into court Mr. Rascop will defend you two young rascals, and
-if the case comes before Judge Hannan I think you'll have every chance
-that can be hoped for, but I don't like the looks of things. Judge
-Hannan knows what boys are, but if the case goes before some old stiff
-it is going to be hard to make him think your brag to Toady Williams
-was just pure brag. At the best it looks as if one of you two must have
-dropped a com-silk cigarette stub in the shavings. You two had better
-walk straight and keep out of trouble from now on. I'll do what I can
-for you."
-
-So we went out and we were pretty scared. We didn't say much. We just
-walked along for a while. Then Swatty said:
-
-"Say! I know who wrote all those questions Herb asked us."
-
-"Who did?" I asked him.
-
-"Fan did," he said, "because I saw what Herb was reading from, and I saw
-the last page and it said, 'Yours humbly, Frances.'"
-
-So that was how Herb knew so much about it, because I had told Fan and
-she had told Herb in the letter. At first I was pretty mad that
-she should be a tattle-tale but then I guessed that was how she was
-bestirring herself, because it didn't do any good to bestir with Tom
-Burton.
-
-When I got home it was almost supper time but Fan came to the front
-porch when she heard me and asked me if I had seen Herb, and all about
-it, and I told her.
-
-"Well, Georgie," she said, "I'll stick by you through thick and thin,"
-and then she began to cry and ran into the house, and I went in and
-mother stopped me in the hall.
-
-"George," she said, "this is a terrible affair and I don't know what
-will be the end of it, but if I could give my life to keep you from harm
-I would gladly do so. And, whatever comes of it, you must be tender
-to Fan, because she quarreled with Herb because of you and now she has
-quarreled with Tom, and she loves you very much," or something like
-that.
-
-So I felt pretty mean, because a boy don't like that kind of talk, and
-when I went upstairs and Lucy was coming down I gave her a push. She
-said: "You stop that! Are you and Swatty going to reform school?"
-
-"None of your business," I told her.
-
-"Oh! you don't need to think I'd ask you, smarty!" she said. "I don't
-care. I only asked you because Mamie Little asked me to ask you."
-
-So then I felt how awful it would be to go to reform school and
-everything and I went up to my room and cried on my bed. I was up there,
-but mostly done crying, when my father came up. He put his hand on me
-and said:
-
-"Here, now! None of this, old sport. Buck up! We'll get you out of this
-all right, some way. Come on down to supper."
-
-So then he kissed me. He hadn't kissed me for a long time before that,
-because men don't, but it was all right this time. I went down to supper
-like he said.
-
-Well, Herb and my father and Swatty and me had a meeting nearly every
-night in our dining-room and talked about how we were getting along, but
-we weren't getting along very much. The only thing that got along
-was Fan, and she was making up to Herb again. She would come into the
-dining-room and sit and talk to Herb and father, but she couldn't fool
-me. She was making up to Herb all right. I could see that.
-
-Well, one day Tom Burton came over to our house and Fan and Tom Burton
-had a regular row. It was a dandy. And that settled Tom, I guess. He
-never came to our house again.
-
-Me and Swatty had to go to school just the same as ever. I wished, if
-they were going to send us to reform school they would go ahead and do
-it, because Miss Carter began to get mean to us. Professor Martin was
-back and nearly every day Miss Carter kept us in school and Professor
-Martin came in and talked to her while she kept us in. Mostly they
-walked home together, because me and Swatty saw them.
-
-Well, me and Swatty had been sort of mad at Bony, like I told you, but
-you can't keep mad always, and we started to letting him be with us
-again. So one day me and Swatty and Bony got out of school late, because
-Miss Carter had kept us in, and Scratch-Cat had been kept in, too. We
-all came out of the schoolhouse together. It was almost spring again and
-Bony had some marbles he had bought, so we said:
-
-"Let's play marbles."
-
-Scratch-Cat didn't want to.
-
-"Well, you don't have to," Swatty told her. "You're a girl, anyway. What
-do you want to play?"
-
-"I don't want to play anything," she said. "I've got a better game than
-a play-game, and you can be in it if you want to."
-
-"What is it, then?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Secret society," Scratch-Cat said. "I thought it all up in school
-to-day and it's Gypsies. Swatty will be the king and I'll be the queen,
-and Georgie and Bony can be princes, and we 'll take an oath to be mean
-to Miss Carter or anybody that keeps us in school or anything. We'll
-think up things to do to them, and when Miss Carter and Professor Martin
-are married we'll steal their children and raise them to be gypsies--"
-
-"Aw!" I said, "they ain't going to be married."
-
-"Yes, they are!" Scratch-Cat said. "Because I saw him kiss her. He
-kissed her in the cloak room almost before I was out of it, just now."
-
-"Well, we ain't going to be secret gypsies or any secret society," Bony
-said, "because me and Swatty and Bony have one already."
-
-"No, we haven't," Swatty said.
-
-"We have, too!" Bony said. "We've got the Red Aven--"
-
-He stopped pretty short, you bet.
-
-"No, we haven't," Swatty said again. "We never had. We had a meeting
-and voted that there wouldn't be any Red Avengers any more and that
-there never had been."
-
-"But--but you couldn't," Bony said.
-
-"Yes, we could," Swatty said. "We started it and I guess we had a right
-to stop it. Me and Georgie we voted on it. There never was any Red
-Avengers. And I'll lick anybody that says there was."
-
-"But--but don't we have to be true to the oath any more?" Bony asked.
-
-"Pooh, no!" Swatty said. "When there ain't any Red Avengers there ain't
-any Red Avengers' oath, or nothing."
-
-"And can't anybody put me in state's prison for saying what the oath
-says I mustn't tell about any Red Avenger?" asked Bony.
-
-"No, sir!" said Swatty. "That oath is a dead oath and don't count no
-more."
-
-"Well, then," Bony said. "Toady did it!"
-
-"Did what?" Swatty asked.
-
-"Toady set the barn afire," Bony said, still pretty scared. "I couldn't
-tell, because I took oath not to tell on any Red Avenger, but if there
-ain't any oath Toady did it. I saw him. He had a pack of real cigarettes
-and he didn't dare smoke while he was skating because Miss Carter was
-skating on the creek, too.
-
-"So I guess Toady thought he would go up to the Nest to have a smoke,"
-Bony went on, "and I was going home. So when we got up to the Nest he
-asked me if I wanted to smoke a real cigarette, and I said I didn't. So
-Toady lit one and threw down the match, and it set the shavings afire.
-So he tried to stamp the fire out, but it spread too fast, and so he
-ran, and I ran, and when we looked back the barn was all afire. So he
-said that if I ever told he would have me sent to state's prison for
-breaking the Red Avengers' oath and telling on a fellow comrade. But he
-did it, and I saw him do it."
-
-Well, Swatty got up and gave a yell and he had to hit some one, so he
-hit Scratch-Cat, and she went for him and they had a good fight, but
-Swatty was laughing all the time, and he didn't fight as hard as he
-mostly did. When they got through fighting they shook hands, and we all
-went down to Herb's and he listened to what we had to tell him.
-
-That ended it, except that he sent the engagement ring back to Fan in a
-letter and she kept it, and Mr. Williams, who was Toady's father,
-moved out of town mighty quick and took Toady with him, because Herb
-telephoned him right away and I guess he thought he had better do it.
-
-So that's all. Me and Swatty didn't go to reform school. We didn't go
-anywhere. The only others that went anywhere were Herb and Fan. They
-went on a marriage trip, or whatever you call it.
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Swatty, by Ellis Parker Butler
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