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diff --git a/old/43617.txt b/old/43617.txt deleted file mode 100644 index dc6b682..0000000 --- a/old/43617.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,25544 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, Volumes -One and Two, by Harriette Wilson - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, Volumes One and Two - Written by Herself - -Author: Harriette Wilson - -Release Date: September 1, 2013 [EBook #43617] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MEMOIRS OF HARRIETTE WILSON *** - - - - -Produced by Joyce McDonald @ Clare Graham at -http://www.girlebooks.com and Marc D'Hooghe at -http://www.freeliterature.org (Images generously made -available by the Internet Archive.) - - - - - -THE MEMOIRS OF HARRIETTE WILSON - -WRITTEN BY HERSELF - - -VOLUME ONE - - -LONDON - -EVELEIGH NASH - -FAWSIDE HOUSE - -1909 - - -[Illustration: Harriette Wilson] - - - - -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS - -VOLUME ONE - - HARRIETTE WILSON _Frontispiece_ - GEORGE, SIXTH DUKE OF ARGYLE - *FREDERICK BYNG ("POODLE BYNG") - *LORD HERTFORD - AMY--SISTER OF HARRIETTE WILSON - -N.B.-The illustrations marked with an asterisk (*) are reproduced, -facsimile, from the famous Deighton portraits - - - - -NOTE REGARDING HARRIETTE WILSON - - -_Harriette Wilson, the daughter of John and Amelia Dubochet, was born -in London on February_ 22, 1786. _Her birth is recorded in the Parish -Register of St. George, Hanover Square, and her father's name appears in -the List of Rate Payers _(1786)_ as residing at _2_ Carrington Street, -Mayfair. The house still exists, and its external structure seems to -have been unaltered since the time it was built._ - -_In old peerage volumes Dubochet, whose daughter Sophia married the -second Lord Berwick, is vaguely described as M. Dubochet of Switzerland, -but there is good reason for assuming that he was a clockmaker. The -article on Harriette Wilson in the Dictionary of National Biography -states that she was born about_ 1789, _that her father kept a small shop -in Mayfair, and that she flourished between the years_ 1810 _and_ 1825. -_There can be no question, however, that she was on terms of intimacy, -about_ 1805, _with the sixth Duke of Argyle, and that in the following -year she became the mistress of John, afterwards Viscount, Ponsonby, -a handsome man of whom George IV. was jealous on account of Lady -Conyngham. Ponsonby succeeded as Baron on November_ 5, 1806, _and, as -related in the Memoirs, he met Harriette a few weeks before his father's -death._ - -_The Memoirs were first published in_ 1825 _by John Joseph Stockdale, -who issued them in paper cover parts, and so great was the demand that a -barrier had to be erected in Stockdale's shop to regulate the crowd that -came to buy. Thirty editions are said to have been sold in one year, -and the work was also pirated by T. Douglas, E. Thomas, and others. The -present edition is reprinted from the original paper cover parts._ - -_The Duke of Wellington, the Marquis of Worcester, Lord Alvanley, -"Poodle" Byng, Beau Brummell, "King" Allen, Lord Yarmouth (Thackeray's -Marquis of Steyne), and the third Duke of Leinster, were among the -numerous men of rank and fashion who came to Harriette's house, and what -is really valuable in her book is the almost photographic fidelity with -which she reproduces the conversations and traits of her visitors. She -observed the men of her "salon" as only a clever woman can, and, because -of this, the Memoirs are lifted from worthlessness and form a most -interesting addition to the society chronicles of the time. Sir Walter -Scott in his Journal, December_ 9, 1825, _writes as follows about the -Memoirs and Harriette:_ - -"_... there is some good retailing of conversations, in which the style -of the speaker, so far as known to me, is exactly imitated.... Some one -asked Lord A----y, himself very sorrily handled from time to time, if -Harriette Wilson had been pretty correct on the whole. 'Why, faith,' he -replied, 'I believe so....'" "I think," proceeds Sir Walter, "I once -supped in her company more than twenty years since at Mat Lewis's, -where the company, as the Duke said to Lucio, chanced to be 'fairer than -honest.' She was far from beautiful ... but a smart saucy girl, with -good eyes and dark hair, and the manners of a wild schoolboy."_ - -_After 1825 very little is known of Harriette Wilson beyond the fact -that she lived abroad and married a Colonel Rochfort, with whom she -resided for a time at_ 111 _Rue du Faubourg St. Honore, Paris._ - -_E.N._ - - - - -CHAPTER I - - -I shall not say why and how I became, at the age of fifteen, the -mistress of the Earl of Craven. Whether it was love, or the severity of -my father, the depravity of my own heart, or the winning arts of the -noble lord, which induced me to leave my paternal roof and place myself -under his protection, does not now much signify; or, if it does, I am -not in the humour to gratify curiosity in this matter. - -I resided on the Marine Parade at Brighton, and I remember that Lord -Craven used to draw cocoa trees, and his fellows as he called them, -on the best vellum paper for my amusement. "Here stood the enemy," he -would say, "and here, my love, are my fellows. There the cocoa trees, -&c." It was, in fact, a dead bore. All these cocoa trees and fellows, -at past eleven o'clock at night, could have no peculiar interest for a -child like myself, so lately in the habit of retiring early to rest. -One night, I recollect, I fell asleep; and, as I often dream, I said -yawning, and half awake, "O Lord! O Lord! Craven has got me into the -West Indies again." In short I soon found that I had made but a bad -speculation, by going from my father to Lord Craven. I was even more -afraid of the latter than I had been of the former. Not that there was -any particular harm in the man beyond his cocoa trees; but we never -suited nor understood each other. - -I was not depraved enough to determine immediately on a new choice, and -yet I often thought about it. How indeed could I do otherwise, when -the Honourable Frederick Lamb was my constant visitor, and talked to me -of nothing else? However, in justice to myself, I must declare that the -idea of the possibility of deceiving Lord Craven while I was under his -roof, never once entered into my head. Frederick was then very handsome, -and certainly tried with all his soul and with all his strength, to -convince me that constancy to Lord Craven was the greatest nonsense in -the world. I firmly believe that Frederick Lamb sincerely loved me, and -deeply regretted that he had no fortune to invite me to share with him. - -Lord Melbourne, his father, was a good man. Not one of your stiff-laced, -moralising fathers, who preach chastity and forbearance to their -children. Quite the contrary, he congratulated his son on the lucky -circumstance of his friend Craven having such a fine girl with him. - -"No such thing," answered Frederick Lamb, "I am unsuccessful there. -Harriette will have nothing at all to do with me." - -"Nonsense!" rejoined Melbourne, in great surprise, "I never heard -anything half so ridiculous in all my life. The girl must be mad! She -looks mad. I thought so the other day, when I met her galloping about, -with her feathers blowing, and her thick dark hair about her ears. - -"I'll speak to Harriette for you," added his lordship, after a long -pause, and then continued repeating to himself, in an undertone, "not -have my son indeed! Six feet high! A fine, straight, handsome, noble -young fellow! I wonder what she would have!" - -In truth, I scarcely knew myself; but something I determined on: -so miserably tired was I of Craven, and his cocoa trees, and his -sailing-boats, and his ugly, cotton nightcap. - -"Surely," I would say, "all men do not wear those shocking nightcaps; -else all women's illusions had been destroyed on the first night of -their marriage!" I wonder, thought I, what sort of a nightcap the -Prince of Wales wears? Then I went on to wonder whether the Prince -of Wales would think me as beautiful as Frederick Lamb did? Next I -reflected that Frederick Lamb was younger than the Prince; but then -again, a Prince of Wales! - -I was undecided: my heart began to soften. I thought of my dear mother -and I wished I had never left her. It was too late, however, now. My -father would not suffer me to return, and, as to passing my life, or -any more of it, with Craven, cotton night-cap and all, it was death! He -never once made me laugh, nor said anything to please me. - -Thus musing, I listlessly turned over my writing book, half in the -humour to address the Prince of Wales! A sheet of paper, covered with -Lord Craven's cocoa trees, decided me, and I wrote the following letter, -which I addressed to the Prince. - - "BRIGHTON - - "I am told that I am very beautiful, so perhaps you would - like to see me; and I wish that, since so many are disposed to - love me, one, for in the humility of my heart I should be quite - satisfied with one, would be at the pains to make me love him. In - the meantime, this is all very dull work, Sir, and worse even than - being at home with my father: so, if you pity me, and believe you - could make me in love with you, write to me, and direct to the post - office here." - -By return of post, I received an answer nearly to this effect: I believe -from Colonel Thomas. - - "Miss Wilson's letter has been received by the noble - individual to whom it was addressed. If Miss Wilson will come to - town, she may have an interview, by directing her letter as before." - -I answered this note directly, addressing my letter to the Prince of -Wales. - - "SIR,--To travel fifty-two miles this bad weather, merely to - see a man, with only the given number of legs, arms, fingers, &c., - would, you must admit, be madness in a girl like myself, surrounded - by humble admirers who are ever ready to travel any distance for - the honour of kissing the tip of her little finger; but, if you can - prove to me that you are one bit better than any man who may be - ready to attend my bidding, I'll e'en start for London directly. - So, if you can do anything better in the way of pleasing a lady - than ordinary men, write directly: if not, adieu, Monsieur le - Prince." - -It was necessary to put this letter into the post office myself, as -Lord Craven's black footman would have been somewhat surprised at -its address. Crossing the Steyne I met Lord Melbourne, who joined me -immediately. - -"Where is Craven?" said his lordship, shaking hands with me. - -"Attending to his military duties at Lewes, my lord." - -"And where's my son Fred?" asked his lordship. - -"I am not your son's keeper, my lord," said I. - -"No! By the bye," inquired his lordship, "how is this? I wanted to call -upon you about it. I never heard of such a thing in the whole course -of my life! What the devil can you possibly have to say against my son -Fred?" - -"Good heavens! my lord, you frighten me! I never recollect to have said -a single word against your son, as long as I have lived. Why should I?" - -"Why, indeed!" said Lord Melbourne. "And, since there is nothing to be -said against him, what excuse can you make for using him so ill?" - -"I don't understand you one bit, my lord." The very idea of a father put -me in a tremble. - -"Why," said Lord Melbourne, "did you not turn the poor boy out of your -house as soon as it was dark, although Craven was in town, and there was -not the shadow of an excuse for such treatment?" - -At this moment, and before I could recover from my surprise at the -tenderness of some parents, Frederick Lamb, who was almost my shadow, -joined us. - -"Fred, my boy," said Lord Melbourne, "I'll leave you two together, and -I fancy you'll find Miss Wilson more reasonable." He touched his hat to -me, as he entered the little gate of the Pavilion, where we had remained -stationary from the moment his lordship had accosted me. - -Frederick Lamb laughed long, loud, and heartily, at his father's -interference. So did I, the moment he was safely out of sight, and then -I told him of my answer to the Prince's letter, at which he laughed -still more. He was charmed with me, for refusing His Royal Highness. - -"Not," said Frederick, "that he is not as handsome and graceful a man as -any in England; but I hate the weakness of a woman who knows not how to -refuse a prince, merely because he is a prince." - -"It is something, too, to be of royal blood," answered I frankly; "and -something more to be accomplished: but this posting after a man! I -wonder what he could mean by it!" - -Frederick Lamb now began to plead his own cause. - -"I must soon join my regiment in Yorkshire," said he: he was, at that -time aide-de-camp to General Mackenzie: "God knows when we may meet -again! I am sure you will not long continue with Lord Craven. I foresee -what will happen, and yet, when it does, I think I shall go mad!" - -For my part I felt flattered and obliged by the affection Frederick Lamb -evinced towards me; but I was still not in love with him. - -At length, the time arrived when poor Frederick Lamb could delay his -departure from Brighton no longer. On the eve of it he begged to be -allowed to introduce his brother William to me. - -"What for?" said I. - -"That he may let me know how you behave," answered Frederick Lamb. - -"And if I fall in love with him?" I inquired. - -"I am sure you won't," replied Fred. "Not because my brother William is -not likeable; on the contrary, William is much handsomer than I am; but -he will not love you as I have done and do still, and you are too good -to forget me entirely." - -Our parting scene was rather tender. For the last ten days, Lord Craven -being absent, we had scarcely been separated an hour during the whole -day. I had begun to feel the force of habit, and Frederick Lamb really -respected me, for the perseverance with which I had resisted his urgent -wishes, when he would have had me deceive Lord Craven. He had ceased to -torment me with such wild fits of passion as had at first frightened me, -and by these means he had obtained much more of my confidence. - -Two days after his departure for Hull, in Yorkshire, Lord Craven -returned to Brighton, where he was immediately informed by some spiteful -enemy of mine, that I had been during the whole of his absence openly -intriguing with Frederick Lamb. In consequence of this information, -one evening, when I expected his return, his servant brought me the -following letter, dated Lewes: - - "A friend of mine has informed me of what has been going on at - Brighton. This information, added to what I have seen with my own - eyes, of your intimacy with Frederick Lamb, obliges me to declare - that we must separate. Let me add, Harriette, that you might have - done anything with me, with only a little mere conduct. As it is, - allow me to wish you happy, and further, pray inform me, if in any - way, _a la distance_, I can promote your welfare. - - "CRAVEN." - - -This letter completed my dislike of Lord Craven. I answered it -immediately, as follows: - - "MY LORD,--Had I ever wished to deceive you, I have the wit to - have done it successfully; but you are old enough to be a better - judge of human nature than to have suspected me of guile or - deception. In the plenitude of your condescension, you are pleased - to add that I 'might have done anything with you, with only a - little mere conduct,' now I say, and from my heart, the Lord defend - me from ever doing anything with you again! Adieu, - - "HARRIETTE." - - -My present situation was rather melancholy and embarrassing, and yet I -felt my heart the lighter for my release from the cocoa-trees, without -its being my own act and deed. "It is my fate!" thought I; "for I -never wronged this man. I hate his fine carriage, and his money, and -everything belonging to or connected with him. I shall hate cocoa as -long as I live; and I am sure I will never enter a boat again if I can -help it. This is what one gets by acting with principle." - -The next morning, while I was considering what was to become of me, I -received a very affectionate letter from Frederick Lamb, dated Hull. He -dared not, he said, be selfish enough to ask me to share his poverty, -and yet he had a kind of presentiment that he should not lose me. - -My case was desperate; for I had taken a vow not to remain another night -under Lord Craven's roof. John, therefore, the black whom Craven had, I -suppose, imported with his cocoa-trees from the West Indies, was desired -to secure me a place in the mail for Hull. - -It is impossible to do justice to the joy and rapture which brightened -Frederick's countenance, when he flew to receive me and conducted -me to his house, where I was shortly visited by his worthy general, -Mackenzie, who assured me of his earnest desire to make my stay in Hull -as comfortable as possible. - -We continued here for about three months, and then came to London. -Fred Lamb's passion increased daily; but I discovered, on our arrival -in London, that he was a voluptuary, somewhat worldly and selfish. -My comforts were not considered. I lived in extreme poverty, while he -contrived to enjoy all the luxuries of life, and suffered me to pass -my dreary evenings alone, while he frequented balls, masquerades, &c. -Secure of my constancy, he was satisfied--so was not I! I felt that I -deserved better from him. - -I asked Frederick one day, if the Marquis of Lorne was as handsome as he -had been represented to me. "The finest fellow on earth," said Frederick -Lamb, "all the women adore him;" and then he went on to relate various -anecdotes of his lordship, which strongly excited my curiosity. - -Soon after this he quitted town for a few weeks, and I was left alone in -London, without money, or at any rate with very little, and Frederick -Lamb, who had intruded himself on me at Brighton, and thus been the -cause of my separation from Lord Craven, made himself happy; because he -believed me faithful and cared not for my distresses. - -This idea disgusted me; and in a fit of anger I wrote to the Marquis -of Lorne, merely to say that, if he would walk up to Duke's Row, -Somers-town, he would meet a most lovely girl. - -This was his answer,-- - - "If you are but half as lovely as you think yourself, you must - be well worth knowing; but how is that to be managed? Not in the - street! but come to No. 39 Portland-street and ask for me. - - "L." - - -My reply was this,-- - - "No! our first meeting must be on the high road, in order that - I may have room to run away, in case I don't like you. - - "HARRIETTE." - - -The marquis rejoined,-- - - "Well then, fair lady, to-morrow at four, near the turnpike, - look for me on horseback, and then you know I can gallop away. - - "L." - - -We met. The duke--he has since succeeded to the title--did not gallop -away; and for my part I had never seen a countenance I had thought half -so beautifully expressive. I was afraid to look at it, lest a closer -examination might destroy all the new and delightful sensations his -first glance had inspired in my breast. His manner was most gracefully -soft and polished. We walked together for about two hours. - -"I never saw such a sunny, happy countenance as yours in my whole life," -said Argyle to me. - -"Oh, but I am happier than usual to-day," answered I, very naturally. - -Before we parted, the duke knew as much of me and my adventures as I -knew myself. He was very anxious to be allowed to call on me. - -"And how will your particular friend Frederick Lamb like that?" inquired -I. - -The duke laughed. - -"Well then," said his grace, "do me the honour, some day, to come and -dine or sup with me at Argyle House." - -"I shall not be able to run away, if I go there," I answered, -laughingly, in allusion to my last note. - -"Shall you want to run away from me?" said Argyle; and there was -something unusually beautiful and eloquent in his countenance, which -brought a deep blush into my cheek. - -"When we know each other better?" added Argyle, beseechingly. "_En -attendant_, will you walk again with me to-morrow?" I assented, and we -parted. - -I returned to my home in unusual spirits: they were a little damped, -however, by the reflection that I had been doing wrong. "I cannot," I -reasoned with myself, "I cannot, I fear, become what the world calls -a steady, prudent, virtuous woman. That time is past, even if I was -ever fit for it. Still I must distinguish myself from those in the -like unfortunate situations, by strict probity and love of truth. I -will never become vile. I will always adhere to good faith, as long as -anything like kindness or honourable principle is shown towards me: and, -when I am ill used, I will leave my lover rather than deceive him. - -"Frederick Lamb relies, in perfect confidence, on my honour. True that -confidence is the effect of vanity. He believes that a woman who could -resist him, as I did at Brighton, is the safest woman on earth! He -leaves me alone and without sufficient money for common necessaries. - -"No matter; I must tell him to-night, as soon as he arrives from the -country, that I have written to and walked with Lorne. My dear mother -would never forgive me if I became artful." So mused, and thus reasoned -I, till I was interrupted by Frederick Lamb's loud knock at my door. - -"He will be in a fine passion," said I to myself, in excessive -trepidation; and I was in such a hurry to have it over that I related -all immediately. To my equal joy and astonishment Frederick Lamb was not -a bit angry. From his manner I could not help guessing that his friend -Lorne had often been found a very powerful rival. - -I could see through the delight he experienced at the idea of possessing -a woman whom, his vanity persuaded him, Argyle would sigh for in vain: -and, attacking me on my weak point, he kissed me, and said, "I have the -most perfect esteem for my dearest little wife, whom, I can, I know, as -safely trust with Argyle as Craven trusted her with me." - -"Are you quite sure?" asked I, merely to ease my conscience. "Were it -not wiser to advise me not to walk about with him?" - -"No, no," said Frederick Lamb; "it is such good fun! bring him up every -day to Somers-town and the Jew's Harp house, there to swallow cider and -sentiment. Make him walk up here as many times as you can, dear little -Harry, for the honour of your sex, and to punish him for declaring, as -he always does, that no woman who will not love him at once is worth -his pursuit." - -"I am sorry he is such a coxcomb," said I. - -"What is that to you, you little fool?" - -"True," I replied. And, at the moment, I made a sort of determination -not to let the beautiful and voluptuous expression of Argyle's dark blue -eyes take possession of my fancy. - -"You are a neater figure than the Marquis of Lorne;" said I to -Frederick, wishing to think so. - -"Lorne is growing fat," answered Frederick Lamb; "but he is the most -active creature possible, and appears lighter than any man of his weight -I ever saw; and then he is, without any exception, the highest bred man -in England." - -"And you desire and permit me to walk about the country with him?" - -"Yes; do trot him often up here. I want to have a laugh against Lorne." - -"And you are not jealous?" - -"Not at all," said Frederick Lamb, "for I am secure of your affections." - -"I must not deceive this man," thought I, and the idea began to make me -a little melancholy. "My only chance, or rather my only excuse, will be -his leaving me without the means of existence." This appeared likely; -for I was too shy, and too proud to ask for money: and Frederick Lamb -encouraged me in this amiable forbearance! - -The next morning, with my heart beating unusually high, I attended my -appointment with Argyle. I hoped, nay almost expected, to find him there -before me. I paraded near the turnpike five minutes, then grew angry; in -five more, I became wretched; in five more, downright indignant; and, in -five more, wretched again--and so I returned home. - -"This," thought I, "shall be a lesson to me hereafter, never to meet a -man: it is unnatural:" and yet I had felt it perfectly natural to return -to the person whose society had made me so happy! "No matter," reasoned -I, "we females must not suffer love or pleasure to glow in our eyes, -until we are quite sure of a return. We must be dignified!" - -Alas! I can only be and seem what I am. No doubt my sunny face of joy -and happiness, which he talked to me about, was understood, and it has -disgusted him. He thought me bold, and yet I am sure I never blushed so -much in any man's society before. - -I now began to consider myself with feelings of the most painful -humility. Suddenly I flew to my writing-desk; "He shall not have the cut -all on his side, neither," thought I, with the pride of a child, "I will -soon convince him I am not accustomed to be slighted;" and then I wrote -to his grace as follows: - - "It was very wrong and very bold of me to have sought your - acquaintance, in the way I did, my lord; and I entreat you to - forgive and to forget my childish folly, as completely as I have - forgotten the occasion of it." - -"So far so good," thought I, pausing, "but then suppose he should, from -this dry note, really believe me so cold and stupid as not to have felt -his pleasing qualities. Suppose now it were possible he liked me after -all!" Then hastily, and half ashamed of myself, I added these few lines: - - "I have not quite deserved this contempt from you, and, in - that consolatory reflection, I take my leave; not in anger my - lord, but only with the steady determination so to profit by the - humiliating lesson you have given me as never to expose myself to - the like contempt again. - - "Your most obedient servant, - "HARRIETTE WILSON." - - -Having put my letter into the post, I passed a restless night: and -the next morning, heard the knock of the twopenny postman in extreme -agitation. He brought me, as I suspected, an answer from Argyle, which -is subjoined. - - "You are not half vain enough, dear Harriette. You ought to - have been quite certain that any man who had once met you could not - fail in a second appointment but from unavoidable accident--and, if - you were only half as pleased with Thursday morning, as I was, you - will meet me to-morrow in the same place at four. Pray, pray, come. - - "LORNE." - - -I kissed the letter and put it into my bosom, grateful for the weight it -had taken off my heart. Not that I was so far gone in love as my readers -may imagine; but I had suffered from wounded pride, and, in fact, I was -very much _tete monte_. - -The sensations which Argyle had inspired me with were the warmest, nay, -the first, of the same nature, I had ever experienced. Nevertheless, -I could not forgive him quite so easily as this neither. I recollect -what Frederick Lamb had said about his vanity. "No doubt," thought I, -"he thinks it was nothing to have paraded me up and down that stupid -turnpike road, in the vain hope of seeing him. It shall now be his turn: -and I gloried in the idea of revenge." - -The hour of Argyle's appointment drew nigh, arrived, and passed away, -without my leaving my house. To Frederick Lamb I related everything, -presented him with Argyle's letter, and acquainted him with my -determination not to meet his grace. - -"How good!" said Frederick Lamb, quite delighted. "We dine together -to-day at Lady Holland's, and I mean to ask him, before everybody at -table, what he thinks of the air about the turnpike in Somerstown." - -The next day I was surprised by a letter, not, as I anticipated, from -Argyle, but from the late Tom Sheridan, only son of Richard Brinsley -Sheridan. I had, by mere accident, become acquainted with that very -interesting young man when quite a child, from the circumstance of his -having paid great attention to one of my elder sisters. - -He requested me to allow him to speak a few words to me, wherever I -pleased. Frederick Lamb having gone to Brockett Hall in Hertfordshire, I -desired him to call on me. - -"I am come from my friend Lorne," said Tom Sheridan. "I would not have -intruded on you; but that, poor fellow, he is really annoyed, and he -has commissioned me to acquaint you with the accident which obliged him -to break his appointment; because I can best vouch for the truth of -it, having upon my honour, with my own ears, heard the Prince of Wales -invite Lord Lorne to Carlton House at the very moment when he was about -to meet you in Somerstown. Lorne," continued Tom Sheridan, "desires me -to say, that he is not coxcomb enough to imagine you cared for him; but -in justice, he wants to stand exactly where he did in your opinion, -before he broke his appointment: he was so perfectly innocent on that -subject. 'I would write to her,' said he, again and again, 'but that, -in all probability, my letters would be shown to Frederick Lamb, and be -laughed at by them both. I would call on her, in spite of the devil; but -that I know not where she lives.' - -"I asked Argyle," Tom Sheridan proceeded, "how he had addressed his -last letters to you? 'To the post office in Somers-town,' was his -answer, 'and thence they were forwarded to Harriette.'" (He had tried -to bribe the old woman there, to obtain my address, but she abused him, -and turned him out of her shop.) "'It is very hard,'" continued Tom, -repeating the words of his noble friend, "'to lose the good-will of one -of the nicest, cleverest girls I ever met with in my life, who was, I -am certain, civilly if not kindly disposed towards me, by such a mere -accident.' Therefore," continued Tom Sheridan, smiling, "you'll make it -up with Lorne, won't you?" - -"There is nothing to forgive," said I, "if no slight was meant. In -short you are making too much of me, and spoiling me, by all this -explanation; for, indeed, I had at first been less indignant, but that -I fancied his grace neglected me because----" and I hesitated, while I -could feel myself blush deeply. - -"Because what?" asked Tom Sheridan. - -"Nothing;" I replied, looking at my shoes. - -"What a pretty girl you are," observed Sheridan, "particularly when you -blush." - -"Fiddlestick!" said I, laughing, "you know you always preferred my -sister Fanny." - -"Well," replied Tom, "there I plead guilty. Fanny is the sweetest -creature on earth; but you are all a race of finished coquettes, who -delight in making fools of people. - -"Now can anything come up to your vanity in writing to Lorne, that you -are the most beautiful creature on earth?" - -"Never mind," said I, "you set all that to rights. I was never vain in -your society, in my life." - -"I would give the world for a kiss, at this moment," said Tom; "because -you look so humble, and so amiable; but"--recollecting himself--"this is -not exactly the embassy I came upon. Have you a mind to give Lorne an -agreeable surprise?" - -"I don't know." - -"Upon my honour I believe he is downright in love with you." - -"Well?" - -"Come into a hackney-coach with me, and we will drive down to the Tennis -Court, in the Haymarket." - -"Is the duke there?" - -"Yes." - -"But at all events, I will not trust myself in a hackney-coach with you." - -"There was a time," said poor Tom Sheridan, with much drollery of -expression, "there was a time--but now!" and he shook his handsome head -with comic gravity, "but now! you may drive with me from here to St. -Paul's in the most perfect safety. I will tell you a secret," added he, -and he fixed his fine dark eye on my face while he spoke, in a tone, -half merry, half desponding, "I am dying; but nobody knows it yet!" - -I was very much affected by his manner of saying this. - -"My dear Mr. Sheridan," said I, with earnest warmth, "you have accused -me of being vain of the little beauty God has given me. Now I would give -it all, or upon my word I think I would, to obtain the certainty, that -you would from this hour refrain from such excesses as are destroying -you." - -"Did you see me play the methodist parson, in a tub, at Mrs. Beaumont's -masquerade last Thursday?" said Tom, with affected levity. - -"You may laugh as you please," said I, "at a little fool like me -pretending to preach to you, yet I am sensible enough to admire you, and -quite feeling enough to regret your time so misspent, your brilliant -talents so misapplied." - -"Bravo! Bravo!" Tom reiterated, "what a funny little girl you are! Pray -Miss, how is your time spent?" - -"Not in drinking brandy," I replied. - -"And how might your talent be applied, Ma'am?" - -"Have not I just given you a specimen, in the shape of a handsome -quotation?" - -"My good little girl, it is in the blood, and I can't help it,--and, if -I could, it is too late now. I'm dying, I tell you. I know not if my -poor father's physician was as eloquent as you are; but he did his best -to turn him from drinking. Among other things, he declared to him one -day, that the brandy, Arquebusade, and Eau de Cologne, he swallowed, -would burn off the coat of his stomach. 'Then,' said my father, 'my -stomach must digest in its waistcoat; for I cannot help it.'" - -"Indeed, I am very sorry for you," I replied: and I hope he believed me: -for he pressed my hand hastily, and I think I saw a tear glisten in his -bright, dark eye. - -"Shall I tell Lorne," said poor Tom, with an effort to recover his -usual gaiety, "that you will write to him, or will you come to the -Tennis-court?" - -"Neither," answered I, "but you may tell his lordship, that, of course, -I am not angry, since I am led to believe he had no intention to humble -nor make a fool of me." - -"Nothing more?" inquired Tom. - -"Nothing," I replied, "for his lordship." - -"And what for me?" said Tom. - -"You! what do you want?" - -"A kiss!" he said. - -"Not I, indeed!" - -"Be it so then; and yet you and I may never meet again on this earth, -and just now I thought you felt some interest about me"; and he was -going away. - -"So I do, dear Tom Sheridan!" said I, detaining him; for I saw death -had fixed his stamp on poor Sheridan's handsome face. "You know I have -a very warm and feeling heart, and taste enough to admire and like you; -but why is this to be our last meeting?" - -"I must go to the Mediterranean"; poor Sheridan continued, putting his -hand to his chest, and coughing. - -"To die!" thought I, as I looked on his sunk, but still very expressive, -dark eyes. - -"Then God bless you!" said I, first kissing his hand, and then, though -somewhat timidly, leaning my face towards him. He parted my hair, and -kissed my forehead, my eyes, and my lips. - -"If I do come back," said he, forcing a languid smile, "mind let me find -you married, and rich enough to lend me an occasional hundred pounds or -two." He then kissed his hand gracefully, and was out of sight in an -instant. - -I never saw him again! - - - - -CHAPTER II - - -The next morning my maid brought me a little note from Argyle to say -that he had been waiting about my door an hour, having learned my -address from poor Sheridan, and that, seeing the servant in the street, -he could not help making an attempt to induce me to go out and walk with -him. I looked out of window, saw Argyle, ran for my hat and cloak, and -joined him in an instant. - -"Am I forgiven?" said Argyle with gentle eagerness. - -"Oh yes," returned I, "long ago, but that will do you no good, for I -really am treating Frederick Lamb very ill, and therefore must not walk -with you again." - -"Why not?" Argyle inquired. "Apropos," he added, "you told Frederick -that I walked about the turnpike looking for you, and that, no doubt, to -make him laugh at me?" - -"No, not for that; but I never could deceive any man. I have told him -the whole story of our becoming acquainted, and he allows me to walk -with you. It is I who think it wrong, not Frederick." - -"That is to say, you think me a bore," said Argyle, reddening with pique -and disappointment. - -"And suppose I loved you?" I asked; "still I am engaged to Frederick -Lamb, who trusts me, and----" - -"If," interrupted Argyle, "it were possible you did love me, Frederick -Lamb would be forgotten: but, though you did not love me, you must -promise to try and do so some day or other. You don't know how much I -have fixed my heart on it." - -These sentimental walks continued more than a month. One evening -we walked rather later than usual. It grew dark. In a moment of -ungovernable passion, Argyle's ardour frightened me. Not that I was -insensible to it: so much the contrary, that I felt certain another -meeting must decide my fate. Still I was offended at what I conceived -showed such a want of respect. The duke became humble. There is a charm -in the humility of a lover who has offended. The charm is so great that -we like to prolong it. In spite of all he could say I left him in anger. -The next morning I received the following note: - -"If you see me waiting about your door to-morrow morning, do not fancy I -am looking for you: but for your pretty housemaid." - -I did see him from a sly corner of my window; but I resisted all my -desires and remained concealed. "I dare not see him again," thought I, -"for I cannot be so very profligate, knowing and feeling as I do, how -impossible it will be to refuse him anything, if we meet again. I cannot -treat Fred Lamb in this manner! besides I should be afraid to tell him -of it, he would perhaps kill me! - -"But then, poor, dear Lorne! to return his kisses, as I did last night, -and afterwards be so very severe on him, for a passion which it seemed -so out of his power to control! - -"Nevertheless we must part now, or never; so I'll write and take my -leave of him kindly." This was my letter: - - "At the first I was afraid I should love you, and, but for - Fred Lamb having requested me to get you up to Somers-town after - I had declined meeting you, I had been happy: now the idea makes - me miserable. Still it must be so. I am naturally affectionate. - Habit attaches me to Fred Lamb. I cannot deceive him or acquaint - him with what will cause him to cut me, in anger and for ever. We - may not then meet again Lorne, as hitherto: for now we could not - be merely friends: lovers we must be hereafter, or nothing. I have - never loved any man in my life before, and yet, dear Lorne, you see - we must part. I venture to send you the enclosed thick lock of my - hair; because you have been good enough to admire it. I do not care - how I have disfigured my head since you are not to see it again. - - "God bless you, Lorne. Do not quite forget last night, - directly, and believe me, as in truth I am, - - "Most devotedly yours, - "HARRIETTE." - - -This was his answer, written, I suppose, in some pique: - - "True you have given me many sweet kisses, and a lock of - your beautiful hair. All this does not convince me you are one - bit in love with me. I am the last man on earth to desire you to - do violence to your feelings by leaving a man as dear to you as - Frederick Lamb is, so farewell Harriette. I shall not intrude to - offend you again. - - "LORNE." - - -"Poor Lorne is unhappy and, what is worse," thought I, "he will soon -hate me!" The idea made me wretched. However, I will do myself the -justice to say, that I have seldom, in the whole course of my life, been -tempted by my passions or my fancies to what my heart and conscience -told me was wrong. I am afraid my conscience has been a very easy one; -but certainly I have followed its dictates. There was a want of heart -and delicacy, I always thought, in leaving any man, without full and -very sufficient reasons for it. At the same time, my dear mother's -marriage had proved to me so forcibly the miseries of two people of -contrary opinions and character torturing each other to the end of -their natural lives, that, before I was ten years old, I decided in -my own mind to live free as air from any restraint but that of my -conscience. - -Frederick Lamb's love was now increasing, as all men's do, from -gratified vanity. He sometimes passed an hour in reading to me. Till -then, I had no idea of the gratification to be derived from books. In my -convent in France I had read only sacred dramas; at home, my father's -mathematical books, _Buchan's Medicine, Gil Blas_, and _The Vicar of -Wakefield_, formed our whole library. The two latter I had long known by -heart, and could repeat at this moment. - -My sisters used to subscribe to little circulating libraries in the -neighbourhood, for the common novels of the day; but I always hated -these. Fred Lamb's choice was happy, Milton, Shakespeare, Byron, _The -Rambler_, Virgil, &c. "I must know all about these Greeks and Romans," -said I to myself. "Some day I will go into the country quite alone, and -study like mad. I am too young now." - -In the meantime, I was absolutely charmed with Shakespeare. Music I -always had a natural talent for. I played well on the pianoforte; that -is, with taste and execution; though almost without study. - -There was a very elegant looking woman residing in my neighbourhood, -in a beautiful little cottage, who had long excited my curiosity. She -appeared to be the mother of five extremely beautiful children. These -were always to be seen, with their nurse, walking out, most fancifully -dressed. Every one used to stop to admire them. Their mother seemed -to live in the most complete retirement. I never saw her with anybody -besides her children. - -One day our eyes met: she smiled, and I half bowed. The next day we -met again, and the lady wished me a good morning. We soon got into -conversation. I asked her if she did not lead a very solitary life. - -"You are the first female I have spoken to for four years," said the -lady, "with the exception of my own servants; but," added she, "some day -we may know each other better. In the meantime will you trust yourself -to come and dine with me to-day?" - -"With great pleasure," I replied, "if you think me worthy that honour." - -We then separated to dress for dinner. - -When I entered her drawing-room at the hour she had appointed, I was -struck with the elegant taste, more than with the richness of the -furniture. A beautiful harp, drawings of a somewhat voluptuous cast, -elegant needle-work, Moore's poems, and a fine pianoforte, formed a part -of it. "She is not a bad woman--and she is not a good woman," said I to -myself. "What can she be?" - -The lady now entered the room, and welcomed me with an appearance of -real pleasure. "I am not quite sure," said she, "whether I can have the -pleasure of introducing you to Mr. Johnstone to-day, or not. We will not -wait dinner for him, if he does not arrive in time." This was the first -word I had heard about a Mr. Johnstone, although I knew the lady was -called by that name. - -Just as we were sitting down to dinner Mr. Johnstone arrived and was -introduced to me. He was a particularly elegant, handsome man, about -forty years of age. His manner of addressing Mrs. Johnstone was more -that of an humble romantic lover than of a husband; yet Julia, for so -he called her, could be no common woman. I could not endure all this -mystery, and, when he left us in the evening, I frankly asked Julia, for -so we will call her in future, why she invited a strange madcap girl -like me, to dinner with her. - -"Consider the melancholy life I lead," said Julia. - -"Thank you for the compliment," answered I. - -"But do you believe," interrupted Julia, "that I should have asked you -to dine with me, if I had not been particularly struck and pleased with -you? I had, as I passed your window, heard you touch the pianoforte -with a very masterly hand, and, therefore, I conceived that you were not -uneducated, and I knew that you led almost as retired a life as myself. -_Au reste_," continued Julia, "some day, perhaps soon, you shall know -all about me." - -I did not press the matter further at that moment, believing it would be -indelicate. - -"Shall we go to the nursery?" asked Julia. - -I was delighted; and, romping with her lovely children, dressing their -dolls, and teaching them to skip, I forgot my love for Argyle, as much -as if that excellent man had never been born. - -Indeed I am not quite sure that it would have occurred to me, even when -I went home, but that Fred Lamb, who was just at this period showing -Argyle up all over the town as my amorous shepherd, had a new story to -relate of his grace. - -Horace Beckford and two other fashionable men, who had heard from -Frederick of my cruelty as he termed it, and the duke's daily romantic -walks to the Jew's Harp House, had come upon him by accident in a body, -as they were galloping through Somers-town. Lorne was sitting in a very -pastoral fashion on a gate near my door, whistling. They saluted him -with a loud laugh. No man could, generally speaking, parry a joke better -than Argyle: for few knew the world better: but this was no joke. He -had been severely wounded and annoyed by my cutting his acquaintance -altogether, at the very moment when he had reason to believe that the -passion he really felt for me was returned. It was almost the first -instance of the kind he had ever met with. He was bored and vexed with -himself for the time he had lost, and yet he found himself continually -in my neighbourhood, almost before he was aware of it. He wanted, as -he has told me since, to meet me once more by accident, and then he -declared he would give me up. - -"What a set of consummate asses you are," said Argyle to Beckford and -his party; and then quietly continued on the gate, whistling as before. - -"But r-e-a-l-l-y, r-e-a-l-l-y, ca-ca-cannot Tom She-She-She-Sheridan -assist you, marquis?" said the handsome Horace Beckford, in his usual -stammering way. - -"A very good joke for Fred Lamb, as the case stands now," replied the -duke, laughing: for a man of the world must laugh in these cases, though -he should burst with the effort. - -"Why don't she come?" said Sir John Shelley, who was one of the party. - -An odd mad-looking Frenchman, in a white coat and a white hat, well -known about Somers-town, passed at this moment and observed his grace, -whom he knew well by sight, from the other side of the way. He had, a -short time before, attempted to address me when he met me walking alone, -and inquired of me when I had last seen the Marquis of Lorne, with -whom he had often observed me walking. I made him no answer. In a fit -of frolic, as if everybody combined at this moment against the poor, -dear, handsome Argyle, the Frenchman called, as loud as he could scream, -from the other side of the way, "_Ah! ah! oh! oh! vous voila, monsieur -le Comte Dromedaire_," alluding thus to the duke's family name, as -pronounced Camel. "Mais ou est donc madame la Comtesse?" - -"D----d impudent rascal!" said Argyle, delighted to vent his growing -rage on somebody, and started across the road after the poor thin old -Frenchman, who might have now said his prayers had not his spider-legs -served him better than his courage. - -Fred Lamb was very angry with me for not laughing at this story; but the -only feeling it excited in me was unmixed gratitude towards the duke for -remembering me still, and for having borne all this ridicule for my sake. - -The next day Julia returned my visit; and, before we parted, she had -learned from my usual frankness every particular of my life, without -leaving me one atom the wiser as to what related to herself. I disliked -mystery so much that, but that I saw Julia's proceeded from the natural, -extreme shyness of her disposition, I had by this time declined -continuing her acquaintance. I decided however to try her another -month, in order to give her time to become acquainted with me. She was -certainly one of the best mannered women in England, not excepting even -those of the very highest rank. Her handwriting and her style were both -beautiful. She had the most delicately fair skin, and the prettiest -arms, hands and feet, and the most graceful form, which could well -be imagined; but her features were not regular, nor their expression -particularly good. She struck me as a woman of very violent passions, -combined with an extremely shy and reserved disposition. - -Mr. Johnstone seldom made his appearance oftener than twice a week. -He came across a retired field to her house, though he might have got -there more conveniently by the roadway. I sometimes accompanied her, and -we sat on a gate to watch his approach to this field. Their meetings -were full of rapturous and romantic delight. In his absence she never -received a single visitor, male or female, except myself; yet she -always, when quite alone, dressed in the most studied and fashionable -style. - -There was something dramatic about Julia. I often surprised her, hanging -over her harp so very gracefully, the room so perfumed, the rays of her -lamp so soft, that I could scarcely believe this _tout ensemble_ to be -the effect of chance or habit. It appeared arranged for the purpose like -a scene in a play. Yet who was it to affect? Julia never either received -or expected company! - -Everything went on as usual for another month or two; during which -time Julia and I met every day, and she promised shortly to make -me acquainted with her whole history. My finances were now sinking -very low. Everything Lord Craven had given me, whether in money or -valuables, I had freely parted with for my support. "Fred Lamb," I -thought, "must know that these resources cannot last for ever; therefore -I am determined not to speak to him on the subject." - -I was lodging with a comical old widow, who had formerly been my sister -Fanny's nurse when she was quite a child. This good lady, I believe, -really did like me, and had already given me all the credit for board -and lodging she could possibly afford. She now entered my room, and -acquainted me that she actually had not another shilling, either to -provide my dinner or her own. - -"Necessity hath no law," thought I, my eyes brightening, and my -determination being fixed in an instant. In ten minutes more the -following letter was in the post-office, directed to the Marquis of -Lorne. - - "If you still desire my society, I will sup with you to-morrow - evening, in your own house. - - "Yours, ever affectionately, - "HARRIETTE." - - -I knew perfectly well that, on the evening I mentioned to his grace, -Fred Lamb would be at his father's country house, Brockett Hall. - -The Duke's answer was brought to me by his groom, as soon as he had -received my letter; it ran thus: - - "Are you really serious? I dare not believe it. Say, by - my servant, that you will see me at the turnpike directly, for - five minutes, only to put me out of suspense. I will not believe - anything you write on this subject. I want to look at your eyes - while I hear you say yes. - - "Yours, most devotedly and impatiently, - - "LORNE." - - -I went to our old place of rendezvous to meet the duke. How different, -and how much more amiable, was his reception than that of Fred Lamb in -Hull! The latter, all wild passion; the former, gentle, voluptuous, -fearful of shocking or offending me, or frightening away my growing -passion. In short, while the duke's manner was almost as timid as my -own, the expression of his eyes and the very soft tone of his voice -troubled my imagination, and made me fancy something of bliss beyond all -reality. - -We agreed that he should bring a carriage to the old turnpike, and -thence conduct me to his house. - -"If you should change your mind!" said the duke, returning a few steps -after we had taken leave:--"_Mais tu viendras, mon ange? Tu ne sera pas -si cruelle?_" - -Argyle is the best Frenchman I have met with in England, and poor Tom -Sheridan was the second best. - -"And you," said I to Argyle, "suppose you were to break your appointment -to-night?" - -"Would you regret it?" Argyle inquired. "I won't have your answer while -you are looking at those pretty little feet;" he continued. "Tell me, -dear Harriette, should you be sorry?" - -"Yes," said I, softly, and our eyes met, only for an instant. Lorne's -gratitude was expressed merely by pressing my hand. - -"_A ce soir donc_," said he, mounting his horse; and, waving his hand to -me, he was soon out of sight. - - - - -CHAPTER III - - -I will not say in what particular year of his life the Duke of Argyle -succeeded with me. Ladies scorn dates! Dates make ladies nervous and -stories dry. Be it only known then, that it was just at the end of his -Lorne shifts and his lawn shirts. It was at that critical period of his -life, when his whole and sole possessions appeared to consist in three -dozen of ragged lawn shirts, with embroidered collars, well fringed in -his service; a threadbare suit of snuff colour, a little old hat with -very little binding left, an old horse, an old groom, an old carriage, -and an old chateau. It was to console himself for all this antiquity, I -suppose, that he fixed upon so very young a mistress as myself. Thus, -after having gone through all the routine of sighs, vows, and rural -walks, he at last saw me blooming and safe in his dismal _chateau_ in -Argyle-street. - -A late hour in the morning blushed to find us in the arms of each other, -as Monk Lewis or somebody else says; but the morning was pale when -compared with the red on my cheek when I, the very next day, acquainted -Fred Lamb with my adventure! - -Fred was absolutely dumb from astonishment, and half choked with rage -and pride. I would not plead my poverty; for I conceived that common -sense and common humanity ought to have made this a subject of attention -and inquiry to him. - -"You told me, he was, when he pleased, irresistible," said I. - -"Yes, yes, yes," muttered Fred Lamb, between his closed teeth; "but a -woman who loves a man is blind to the perfections of every other. No -matter, no matter, I am glad it has happened. I wish you joy. I----" - -"Did I ever tell you I was in love with you?" said I, interrupting him. -"Indeed it was your vanity deceived you, not I. You caused me to lose -Lord Craven's protection, and, therefore, loving no man at the time, -having never loved any, to you I went. I should have felt the affection -of a sister for you, but that you made no sacrifices, no single attempt -to contribute to my comfort or happiness. I will be the mere instrument -of pleasure to no man. He must make a friend and companion of me, or he -will lose me." - -Fred Lamb left me in madness and fury; but I knew him selfish, and that -he could dine on every imagined luxury, and drink his champagne, without -a thought or care whether I had bread and cheese to satisfy hunger. Then -who, with love, first love! beating in their hearts, could think of -Frederick Lamb? - -I immediately changed my lodgings for a furnished house at the west end -of the town, better calculated to receive my new lover, whose passion -knew no bounds. He often told me how much more beautiful I was than he -had ever expected to find me. - -"I cannot," he wrote to me, during a short absence from town, "I cannot, -for circumstances prevent my being entirely yours"--I fancied he alluded -to his old flame, Lady W----, with whom, the world said he had been -intriguing nineteen years, "but nothing can, nor shall, prevent my -being, for ever, your friend, &c. &c. &c." - -"If," thought I, "this man is not to be entirely mine, perhaps I shall -not be entirely his." I could have been--but this nasty Lady W---- -destroys half my illusion. He used to sit with her, in her box at the -Opera, and wear a chain which I believed to be hers. He often came to -me from the Opera, with just such a rose in his bosom as I had seen in -hers. All this was a dead bore. One night I plucked the rose from his -breast, another time I hid the chain, and all this to him seemed the -effect of pure accident: for who, with pride, and youth, and beauty, -would admit they were jealous? - -One night, I am sure he will recollect that night, when he thought me -mad, one night I say, I could not endure the idea of Lady W----. That -night we were at Argyle House, and he really seemed most passionately -fond of me. The idea suddenly crossed my mind that all the tenderness -and passion he seemed to feel for me was shared between myself and Lady -W----. - -I could not bear it. - -"I shall go home," I said, suddenly. - -"Going home!" said the duke. "Why my dear little Harriette, you are -walking in your sleep"; and he threw on his dressing-gown, and took hold -of my hand. - -"I am not asleep," said I; "but I will not stay here; I cannot. I would -rather die:" and I burst into tears. - -"My dear, dear Harriette," continued Argyle, in great alarm, "for God's -sake, tell me what on earth I have done to offend you?" - -"Nothing--nothing," said I, drying my tears. "I have but one favour -to ask: let me alone, instead of persecuting me with all this show of -tenderness." - -"Gracious God!" said Argyle, "how you torment me! If," he proceeded, -after pausing, "if you have ceased to love me,--if--if you are -disgusted----" - -I was silent. - -"Do speak! pray, pray!" said he. - -His agitation astonished me. It almost stopped his breathing. "This -man," thought I, "is either very nervous or he loves me just as I want -to be loved." I had my hand on the door, to leave him. He took hold of -me, and threw me from it with some violence; locked it and snatched the -key out; took me in his arms and pressed me with almost savage violence -against his breast. - -"By heavens!" said he, "you shall not torture me so another moment." - -This wildness frightened me. "He is going to kill me," thought I. I -fixed my eyes on his face, to try and read my doom. Our eyes met, he -pushed me gently from him, and burst into tears. - -My jealousy was at an end, _au moins pour le moment._ - -"I am not tired of you, dear Lorne," said I, kissing him eagerly. "How -is it possible to be so? Dear Lorne, forgive me?" - -Nothing was so bright nor so brilliant as Lorne's smile through a tear. -In short, Lorne's expression of countenance, I say it now, when I -neither esteem, nor love, nor like him, his expression, I say, is one of -the finest things in nature. - -Our reconciliation was completed, in the usual way. - - * * * * * - -The next morning, I was greatly surprised by a visit from my dear, -lively sister Fanny, on her arrival from the country. Fanny was the most -popular woman I ever met with. The most ill-natured and spiteful of -her sex could never find it in their hearts to abuse one who, in their -absence, warmly fought all their battles, whenever anybody complained of -them where she was. - -I often asked her why she defended, in society, certain unamiable -persons. - -"Merely because they are not here to defend themselves, and therefore it -is two to one against them," said Fanny. - -Fanny, as the Marquis of Hertford uniformly insisted, was the most -beautiful of all our family. He was very desirous of having her portrait -painted by Lawrence, to place it in his own apartment. "That laughing -dark blue eye of hers," he would say, "is unusually beautiful." His -lordship, by the bye, whatever people may say of the coldness of his -heart, entertained a real friendship for poor Fanny; and proved it by -every kind attention to her, during her last illness. He was the only -man she admitted into her room to take leave of her before she died, -although hundreds, and those of the first rank and character, were -sincerely desirous of doing so. I remember Lord Yarmouth's last visit -to Brompton, where my poor sister died after an illness of three weeks. -"Can I, or my cook, do anything in the world to be useful to her?" said -he. I repeated that it was all too late--that she would never desire -anything more, and all I wanted for her was plenty of Eau de Cologne to -wash her temples with; that being all she asked for. He did not send his -groom for it; but galloped to town himself, and was back immediately. -This was something for Lord Yarmouth. - -But to proceed, Fanny was certainly very beautiful; she had led a most -retired, steady life for seven years, and was the mother of three -children at the death of their father, Mr. Woodcock, to whom Fanny -would have been married could he have obtained a divorce from his -wife. Everybody was mad about Fanny, and so they had been during Mr. -Woodcock's life; but it was all in vain. Now there was a better chance -for them perhaps. - -Fanny and our new acquaintance Julia soon became sworn friends. Most -people believed that we were three sisters. Many called us the Three -Graces. It was a pity that there were only three Graces!--and that is -the reason, I suppose, why my eldest sister Amy was cut out of this -ring, and often surnamed one of the Furies. She was a fine dark woman -too. Why she hated me all her life I cannot conceive; nor why she -invariably tried to injure me in the opinion of all those who liked me, -I know not: but I can easily divine why she made love to my favourites; -for they were the handsomest she could find. It was Amy, my eldest -sister, who had been the first to set us a bad example. We were all -virtuous girls when Amy, one fine afternoon, left her father's house -and sallied forth, like Don Quixote, in quest of adventures. The first -person who addressed her was one Mr. Trench; a certain short-sighted, -pedantic man, whom most people know about town. I believe she told him -that she was running away from her father. All I know for certain is -that, when Fanny and I discovered her abode, we went to visit her, and -when we asked her what on earth had induced her to throw herself away -on an entire stranger whom she had never seen before, her answer was, -"I refused him the whole of the first day; had I done so the second he -would have been in a fever." - -Amy was really very funny, however spitefully disposed towards me. To be -brief with her history. Trench put her to school again, from motives of -virtue and economy. From that school she eloped with General Maddan. - -Amy's virtue was something like the nine lives of a cat. - -With General Maddan she, for several years, professed constancy; indeed -I am not quite certain that she was otherwise. I never in my occasional -visits saw anything suspicious except once, a pair of breeches! - -It was one day when I went to call on her with my brother. General -Maddan was not in town. She wanted to go to the Opera. The fit had -only just seized her, at past nine o'clock. She begged me to make her -brother's excuse at home as, she said, he must accompany her. - -"What, in those dirty boots?" I asked. - -"I have got both dress-stockings and breeches upstairs, of Maddan's," -replied Amy; and I assisted at the boy's toilette. - -In handing him the black pair of breeches, which Amy had presented -me with, I saw marked, in Indian ink, what, being in the inside, had -probably escaped her attention. It was simply the name of Proby. - -"How came Lord Proby's black small-clothes here?" said I. - -Amy snatched them out of my hand in a fury; and desired me to go out of -the house. _Au reste_, she had often, at that time, three hundred pounds -in her pocket at once, and poor Maddan had not a shilling. All this -happened before I had left my home. - -At the period I now write about I believe that Maddan was abroad, and -Amy lived in York Place, where she used to give gay evening parties to -half the fashionable men in town, after the Opera. She never came to -me but from interested motives. Sometimes she forced herself into my -private box, or teased me to make her known to the Duke of Argyle. - -This year we three graces, as we were called, hired an opera box for -the season together. Amy had another, near us, for herself and her host -of beaux. Her suppers on Saturday nights were very gay. Julia and Fanny -were always invited; but she was puzzled what to do with me. If I was -present, at least half the men were on my side of the room; if I stayed -away, so did all those who went only on my account. - -This difficulty became a real privation to such men as delighted in us -both together. Among these was Luttrell; everybody knows Luttrell; or -if they do not, I will tell them more about him by-and-by. Luttrell, I -say, undertook to draw up a little agreement, stating that, since public -parties ought not to suffer from private differences, we were thereby -requested to engage ourselves to bow to each other in all societies, -going through the forms of good breeding even with more ceremony than if -we had liked each other, on pain of being voted public nuisances, and -private enemies to all wit and humour. - -Signed with our hands and seals.... - -"Now," said Fanny one day to Julia, soon after our first opera season -had begun, "Harriette and I propose cutting you Mrs. Julia altogether, -if you do not, this very evening, give us a full and true account of -yourself, from the day you were born and the date thereof up to this -hour." - -"No dates! no dates! I pray!" said Julia. - -"Well, waive dates," added I, "and begin." - -Julia then related, in her shy, quiet way, what I will communicate as -briefly as possible. - -Julia's real name was Storer. She was the daughter of the Honourable -Mrs. Storer, who was one of the maids of honour to our present king's -royal mother, and the sister of Lord Carysfort. - -Julia received part of her education in France, and finished it at the -palace of Hampton Court, where her mother sent her on a visit to the -wife of Colonel Cotton, who was an officer in the 10th Dragoons. - -Mrs. Cotton had a family of nine children, and very little fortune to -support them. Julia had been, from her earliest youth, encouraging the -most romantic passions which ever fired a youthful breast. With all this -her heart, unlike mine, was as cold as her imagination was warm. What -were parents, what were friends to her? What was anything on earth to -love? - -The first night Colonel Cotton danced with her she was mad! In four -months more she was pregnant. In nine months more, having concealed her -situation, she was seized with the pangs of labour, while in the act of -paying her respects to Her Majesty in court! And all was consternation -in the _beau chateau de Hampton!_ - -Mrs. Cotton, instead of sending for the accoucheur, with extreme -propriety, though somewhat _mal-apropos_, loaded poor Julia with abuse! - -"Have yet a little mercy," said Julia, "and send for assistance." - -"Never, never, you monster! you wretch! will I so disgrace your family," -exclaimed Mrs. Cotton. - -Poor Julia's sufferings were short, but dreadfully severe. In about five -hours, unassisted, she became the mother of a fine boy. - -Julia could not attempt to describe the rage and fury either of her -mother or brother. It was harsh, it was shocking, even as applied to the -most hardened sinner, in such a state of mental and bodily suffering. -Julia was, with her infant, by her noble relatives hurried into the -country, almost at the risk of her life, and Colonel Cotton was called -out by young Storer, Julia's brother, and, I believe, wounded. - -From her retirement, Julia had contrived to write to Colonel Cotton, by -means of Colonel Thomas, to declare to him that, if they were to meet no -more, she would immediately destroy herself. In short, Cotton was raving -mad for Julia, and Julia was wild for Cotton--_le moyen de les separer?_ - -A very retired cottage near town was hired by Cotton for Julia, who -inherited a small fortune over which her parents had no control; and on -that she had supported herself in the closest retirement for more than -eight years, when I accidentally became acquainted with her. Cotton was -dismissed from his regiment by his royal commander. - -I never saw such romantic people, after nine years and five children! - -"Julia! adored Julia!" so he would write to her, "if you love but as -I do, we shall, to-morrow at eight in the evening, enjoy another hour -of perfect bliss! Julia! angel Julia! my certain death would be the -consequence of your inconstancy, &c. &c." - -Julia used to show me these rhapsodies from Cotton, at which I always -laughed heartily, and thus I used to put her in a passion continually. - -At the opera I learned to be a complete flirt; for there I saw Argyle -incessantly with Lady W----, and there it became incumbent on me -either to laugh or cry. I let him see me flirt and look tender on Lord -Burghersh one night on purpose, and the next day, when we three graces -met him in the park, I placed in his hand a letter, which he was hastily -concealing in his pocket with a look of gratified vanity, believing no -doubt that it was one of my soft effusions on the beauty of his eyes. - -"For the post," said I, nodding as we were turning to leave him, and we -all three burst into a loud laugh together. - -The letter was addressed to Lord Burghersh, merely to tell him to join -us at Amy's after the next opera. - -The next opera was unusually brilliant. Amy's box was close to ours, and -almost as soon as we were seated she entered, dressed in the foreign -style, which became her, accompanied by Counts Woronzow, Beckendorff and -Orloff. Beckendorf was half mad for her and wanted to marry her with his -left hand. - -"Why not with the right?" said Amy. - -"I dare not," answered Beckendorff, "without the consent of the Emperor -of Russia." - -Amy had desired him to go to Russia and obtain this consent from the -Emperor more than a month before; but still he lingered! - -Our box was soon so crowded that I was obliged to turn one out as fast -as a new face appeared. Julia and Fanny left me, to pay a visit to the -"enemy," as Luttrell used to call Amy. Observing me for an instant -alone, the Duke of Devonshire came into my box, believing that he did me -honour. - -"Duke," said I, "you cut me in Piccadilly to-day." - -"Don't you know," said thickhead, "don't you know, _Belle Harriette_, -that I am blind as well as deaf, and a little absent too?" - -"My good young man," said I, out of all patience, "_allez donc a -l'hopital des invalides:_ for really, if God has made you blind and -deaf, you must be absolutely insufferable when you presume to be absent -too. The least you can do, as a blind, deaf man, is surely to pay -attention to those who address you." - -"I never heard anything half so severe as _la belle Harriette_," drawled -out the duke. - -Luttrell now peeped his nose into my box, and said, dragging in his -better half, half-brother I mean, fat Nugent, "A vacancy for two! How -happens this? You'll lose your character, Harriette." - -"I'm growing stupid, from sympathy, I suppose," I observed, glancing at -his grace, who, being as deaf as a post, poor fellow, bowed to me for -the supposed compliment. - -"You sup with Amy, I hope?" said I to Luttrell. "And you?" turning to -Nugent. - -"There's a princess in the way," replied Nugent, alluding to the late -Queen. - -"Nonsense," said Luttrell, "Her Royal Highness has allowed me to be off." - -"You can take liberties with her," Nugent remarked. "You great wits can -do what you please. She would take it very ill of me; besides, I wish -Amy would send some of those dirty Russians away. Count Orloff is the -greatest beast in nature." - -Lord Alvanly now entered my box. - -"_Place pour un_," said I, taking hold of the back of the Duke of -Devonshire's chair. - -"I am going," said his grace; "but seriously, Harriette, I want to -accomplish dining alone some evening, on purpose to pay you a visit." - -"There will be no harm in that," said I. - -"None! None!" answered Luttrell, who took my allusion. - -Alvanly brought me a tall, well-dressed foreigner, whom he was waiting -to present to me as "his friend." - -"That won't do, Lord Alvanly," said I; "really, that is no introduction, -and less recommendation. Name your friend, or away with him." - -"_Ma foi, madame_," said the foreigner, "_un nom ne fait rien du tout. -Vous me voyez la, madame, honnete homme, de cinq pieds et neuf pouces._" - -"_Madame est persuade de vos cinq pieds, mais elle n'est pas si sure de -vos neuf pouces_," Alvanly observed. - -"Adieu, _ma belle Harriette_," said the duke, at last taking my hint and -rising to depart. - -Julia and Fanny now returned: the latter as usual was delighted to meet -Alvanly. - -"Do you come from the 'enemy'?" Luttrell inquired of them. - -"Yes," replied Fanny, laughing. - -"My dear Fanny," said Luttrell, in his comical, earnest, methodistical -manner, "my dear Fanny, this will never do!" - -"What won't do?" inquired Fanny. - -"These Russians, my dear." - -"She has got a little Portuguese, besides the Russians, coming to her -to-night," said I; "the Count Palmella." - -"The ambassador?" Nugent asked. - -"God bless my soul!" said Luttrell, looking up to the ceiling with such -a face! Tom Sheridan would have liked to have copied it, when he played -the methodist in a tub, at Mrs. Beaumont's masquerade. - -"They are only all brought up upon trial," I observed; "she will cut the -rest as soon as she has fixed on one of them." - -"Yes; but you see, coming after these Cossacks is the devil!" lisped -Alvanly, with his usual comical expression. "God bless your soul, we -have no chance after these fellows." - -"There is Argyle looking at you, from Lady W----'s box," Nugent said. - -The remark put me out of humour, although I did observe that, though he -sat in her ladyship's box, he was thinking most of me. Nevertheless it -was abominably provoking. - -Lord Frederick Bentinck next paid me his usual visit. - -"Everybody is talking about you," said his lordship. "Two men, -downstairs, have been laying a bet that you are Lady Tavistock. Mrs. -Orby Hunter says you are the handsomest woman in the house." - -Poor Julia, all this time, did not receive the slightest compliment or -attention from anybody. At last she kissed her hand to some one in a -neighbouring box. - -"Whom are you bowing to?" I inquired. - -"An old flame of mine, who was violently in love with me when I was a -girl at Hampton Court," whispered Julia. "I have never seen him since I -knew Cotton." - -"What is his name?" I asked. - -"George Brummell," answered Julia. - -I had never, at that time, heard of George Brummell. - -"Do you know a Mr. George Brummell?" said I to Lord Alvanly. - -Before his lordship could answer my question, Brummell entered the -box; and, addressing himself to Julia, expressed his surprise, joy and -astonishment at meeting with her. - -Julia was now all smiles and sweetness. Just before Brummell's arrival -she was growing a little sulky. Indeed she had reason, for in vain -did we cry her up and puff her off, as Lord Carysfort's niece, or as -an accomplished, elegant, charming creature, daughter of a maid of -honour: she did not take. The men were so rude as often to suffer her to -follow us by herself, without offering their arms to conduct her to the -carriage. She was, in fact, so reserved, so shy, and so short-sighted, -that, not being very young, nobody would be at the trouble of finding -out what she was. - -In the round room we held separate levees. Amy always fixed herself near -enough to me to see what I was about, and try to charm away some of my -admirers. Heaven knows Fanny and I had plenty to spare her, for they did -so flock about us they scarcely left us breathing room. Argyle looked as -if he wanted to join us, but was afraid of Lady W----. - -"Are you not going home, pretty?" he would say to me, between his teeth, -passing close to my ear. - -"Do speak louder, marquis," I answered, provoked that he should be -afraid of any woman but myself. "I am not going home these three hours. -I am going first to Amy's party." - -Lorne looked, not sulky, nor cross, as Fred Lamb would have done; but -smiled beautifully, and said: "At three, then, may I go to you?" - -"Yes," answered I, putting my hand into his, and again I contrived to -forget Lady W----. - -There was all the world at Amy's, and not half room enough for -them. Some were in the passage and some in the parlour, and in the -drawing-room one could scarcely breathe. At the top of it, Amy sat -coquetting with her tall Russians. The poor Count Palmella stood gazing -on her at an humble distance. - -The little delicate, weak, gentlemanlike Portuguese was no match for -the three Cossacks. I do not believe he got in a single word the whole -evening; but once, when Amy remarked that she should go the next evening -to see the tragedy of _Omeo._ - -"What tragedy is that, pray?" drawled out the Honourable John William -Ward, starting from a fit of the dismals, just as if some one had gone -behind him and, with a flapper, reminded him that he was at a party, and -ought to _faire l'aimable aux dames._ - -"You may laugh at me as much as you please," answered Amy, "and I must -have patience and bear it, ight or ong; for I cannot pronounce the -letter _r_." - -"How very odd!" I remarked. "Why, you could pronounce it well enough at -home!" I really did not mean this to tease her; for I thought, perhaps, -lisping might grow upon us as we got older; but I soon guessed it was -all sham, by the gathering storm on Amy's countenance. The struggle -between the wish to show off effeminate softness to her lovers, and her -ardent desire to knock me down, I could see by an arch glance at me, -from Fanny's laughing eye and a shrug of her shoulder, was understood by -that sister as well as by myself. Fanny's glance was the slyest thing in -nature, and was given in perfect fear and trembling. - -"Harriette's correctness may be, I am sorry to say,"--and she paused to -endeavour to twist her upper lip, trembling with fury, into the shape -and form of what might be most pure and innocent in virtuous indignation! - -Count Beckendorff eyed me with a look of pity and noble contempt, and -then fixed his eyes with rapture on his angel's face! - -Joking apart he was a monstrous fool, that same Count Beckendorff, in -the shape of a very handsome young Cossack. - -"Where's the treaty of peace?" said Nugent, dreading a rupture, which -should deaden half the spirit of the little pleasant suppers he wished -to give us at his own rooms in the Albany. "No infringement, we beg, -ladies. We have the treaty, under your pretty hands and seals." - -"Peace be to France, if France, in peace, permit it!" said I, holding -out my hand to Amy in burlesque majesty. - -Amy could not, for the life of her, laugh with the rest; because she saw -that they thought me pleasant. She, however, put out her hand hastily, -to have done with what was bringing me into notice: and, that the -subject might be entirely changed, and I as much forgotten, she must -waltz that instant with Beckendorff. - -"Sydenham!" said Amy, to one of her new admirers, who, being flute-mad -and a beautiful flute-player was always ready. - -"The flute does not mark the time enough for waltzing," said he, taking -it out of a drawer; "but I shall be happy to accompany Harriette's waltz -on the pianoforte, because she always plays in good time." - -"Do not play, Harriette," said Amy; for fear it should strike any one -that I played well; "if I had wished her to be troubled I should have -asked her myself. The flute is quite enough;" and she began twirling her -tall Cossack round the room. He appeared charmed to obey her commands -and sport his really graceful waltzing. - -"I do not think it a trouble, in the least," I observed, opening the -instrument, without malice or vanity. I was never vain of music; and, at -that early age, so much envy never entered my head. I hated playing too; -but fancied that I was civil, in catching up the air and accompanying -Colonel Sydenham. - -"Harriette puts me out," said Amy, stopping, and she refused to stand up -again, in spite of all Sydenham could say about my very excellent ear -for music. - -"_Madame a donc le projet d'aller a Drury-Lane, demain?_" said the Count -Palmella at last, having been waiting, with his mouth open, ever since -Amy mentioned _Omeo_, for an opportunity of following up the subject. - -Amy darted her bright black eyes upon him, as though she had said, -"_Ah! te voila! d'ou viens tu?_" but without answering him or perhaps -understanding what he said. - -"_Si madame me permettera_," continued the count, "_j'aurai l'honneur de -lui engager une loge._" - -"_Oui s'il vous plait, je vous en serai oblige_," said Amy, though in -somewhat worse French. - -The celebrated beau, George Brummell, who had been presented to Amy by -Julia in the round room at the opera, now entered and put poor Julia -in high spirits. Brummell, as Julia always declared, was, when in the -10th Dragoons, a very handsome young man. However that might have been, -nobody could have mistaken him for anything like handsome at the moment -she presented him to us. Julia assured me that he had, by some accident, -broken the bridge of his nose, and which said broken bridge had lost him -a lady and her fortune of twenty thousand pounds. This, from the extreme -flatness of it, his nose, I mean, not the fortune, appeared probable. - -He was extremely fair, and the expression of his countenance far from -disagreeable. His person too was rather good; nor could anybody find -fault with the taste of all those who for years had made it a rule to -copy the cut of Brummell's coat, the shape of his hat, or the tie of his -neckcloth: for all this was in the very best possible style. - -"No perfumes," Brummell used to say, "but very fine linen, plenty of it, -and country washing." - -"If John Bull turns round to look after you, you are not well dressed: -but either too stiff, too tight, or too fashionable." - -"Do not ride in ladies' gloves; particularly with leather breeches." - -In short, his maxims on dress were excellent. Besides this, he was -neither uneducated nor deficient. He possessed also a sort of quaint, -dry humour, not amounting to anything like wit; indeed, he said nothing -which would bear repetition; but his affected manners and little -absurdities amused for the moment. Then it became the fashion to court -Brummell's society, which was enough to make many seek it who cared not -for it; and many more wished to be well with him through fear, for all -knew him to be cold, heartless, and satirical. - -It appeared plain and evident to me that his attention to Julia was no -longer the effect of love. Piqued at the idea of having been refused -marriage by a woman with whom Cotton had so easily succeeded, _sans -ceremonie_, he determined in his own mind soon to be even with his late -brother officer. - -And pray, madam, the reader may ask; how came you to be thus early -acquainted with George Brummell's inmost soul? - -A mere guess. I will tell you why. - -Brummell talked to Julia while he looked at me; and as soon as he could -manage it with decency, he contrived to place himself by my side. - -"What do you think of Colonel Cotton?" said he, when I mentioned Julia. - -"A very fine dark man," I answered, "though not at all to my taste, for -I never admire dark men." - -"No man in England stinks like Cotton," said Brummell. - -"Ah! ah!" thought I, "_me voila au fait!_" - -"A little Eau de Portugal would do no harm in that quarter, at all -events," I remarked laughing, while alluding to his dislike of perfumery. - -Amy gave us merely a tray-supper in one corner of the drawing-room, with -plenty of champagne and claret. Brummell, in his zeal for cold chicken, -soon appeared to forget everybody in the room. A loud discordant laugh -from the Honourable John Ward, who was addressing something to Luttrell -at the other end of the table, led me to understand that he had just, -in his own opinion, said a very good thing; yet I saw his corner of the -room full of serious faces. - -"Do you keep a valet, sir?" said I. - -"I believe I have a rascal of that kind at home," said the learned, ugly -scion of nobility, with disgusting affectation. - -"Then," I retorted, "do, in God's name, bring him next Saturday to stand -behind your chair." - -"For what, I pray?" - -"Merely to laugh at your jokes," I rejoined. "It is such hard work for -you, sir, who have both to cut the jokes and to laugh at them too!" - -"Do pray show him up, there's a dear creature, whenever you have an -opportunity," whispered Brummell in my ear, with his mouth full of -chicken. - -"Is he not an odious little monster of ill-nature, take him altogether?" -I asked. - -"And look at that tie?" said Brummell, shrugging up his shoulders and -fixing his eyes on Ward's neck-cloth. - -Ward was so frightened at this commencement of hostilities from me, that -he immediately began to pay his court to me, and engaged me to take a -drive with him the next morning in his curricle. - -"Go with him," whispered Brummell in my ear. "Keep on terms with him, on -purpose to laugh at him." And then he turned round to Fanny, to ask her -who her man of that morning was. - -"You allude to the gentleman I was riding with in the park?" answered -Fanny. - -"I know who he is," said Alvanly. "Fanny is a very nice girl, and I wish -she would not encourage such people. Upon my word it is quite shocking." - -"Whom did you ride with to-day, Fanny?" I inquired. - -"A d----n sugar baker," said Alvanly. - -"I rode out to-day," replied Fanny, reddening, "with a very respectable -man of large fortune." - -"Oh yes!" said Alvanly, "there is a good deal of money to be got in the -sugar line." - -"Why do not you article yourself then to a baker of it," I observed, -"and so pay some of your debts?" - -This was followed by a laugh, which Alvanly joined in with great good -humour. - -"What is his name?" inquired Luttrell. - -"Mr. John Mitchel," answered Fanny. "He received his education at a -public school, with Lord Alvanly." - -"I do not recollect Mitchel," retorted Alvanly; "but I believe there -were a good many grocers admitted at that time." - -Fanny liked Lord Alvanly of all things, and knew very little of Mr. -Mitchel, except that he professed to be her very ardent admirer; yet her -defence of the absent was ever made with all the warmth and energy her -shyness would permit. - -"Now, gentlemen," said Fanny, "have the goodness to listen to the facts -as they really are." - -Everybody was silent; for everybody delighted to hear Fanny talk. - -"That little fat gentleman there," looking at Lord Alvanly, "whom you -all suppose a mere idle, lazy man of genius, I am told studies _bon -mots_ all night in his bed." (A laugh.) "Further, I have been led to -understand, that being much lower down in the class than Mitchel, though -of the same age, his lordship in the year eighteen hundred and something -or other was chosen, raised, and selected, for his civil behaviour, -to the situation of prime and first fag to Mr. Mitchel, in which said -department, his lordship distinguished himself much, by the very high -polish he put upon Mr. J. Mitchel's boots and shoes." - -There was not a word of truth in this story, the mere creation of -Fanny's brain; yet still there was a probability about it, as they had -been at school together, and which, added to Fanny's very pleasing, odd -mode of expression, set the whole room in a roar of laughter. Alvanly -was just as much amused as the rest; for Fanny's humour had no real -severity in it at any time. - -"But, Fanny, you will make a point of cutting this grocer, I hope?" -observed Brummell, as soon as the laugh had a little subsided. - -"Do pray, Fanny," said I, "cut your Mitchels. I vote for cutting all the -grocers and valets who intrude themselves into good society." - -"My father was a very superior valet," Brummell quickly observed, "and -kept his place all his life, and that is more than Palmerston will do," -he continued, observing Lord Palmerston, who was in the act of making -his bow to Amy, having just looked in on her from Lady Castlereagh's. - -"I don't want any of Lady Castlereagh's men," said Amy. "Let all those -who prefer her Saturday-night to mine, stay with her." - -"Who on earth," said Luttrell, with his usual earnestness--"who on earth -would think of Lady Castlereagh when they might be here?" - -"Why Brummell went there for an hour before he came here," said Alvanly. - -"Mr. Brummell had better go and pass a second hour with her ladyship," -retorted Amy, "for we are really too full here." - -"I am going for one," I said, putting on my shawl; for I began to think -it would not do to neglect Argyle altogether. I made use of one of the -Russian's carriages, to which Brummell handed me. - -"To Argyle House, I suppose?" said Brummell, and then whispered in my -ear, "You will be Duchess of Argyle, Harriette." - -I found Argyle at his door, with his key, a little impatient. I asked -him why he did not go to Amy's. - -"I don't know your sister," answered his grace, "and I dislike what I -have seen of her. She makes so many advances to me!" - -I defended my sister as warmly as though she had really treated me -with kindness, and felt at that time seriously angry with the duke for -abusing her. - -The next morning from my window I saw Amy drive up to my door, in the -Count Palmella's barouche. "She wants me to write a copy of a letter for -some of her men," thought I, well knowing that affection never brought -Amy to visit me. - -"Are you alone?" asked Amy, bouncing into the room. - -"Then tell that count, downstairs, he may go home," addressing my -servant. - -"Poor little man!" I remarked, "how terribly rude! I could not be rude -to such a very timid, gentlemanly man as that!" - -"Oh, he makes me sick," said Amy, "and I am come to consult you as to -what I had better do. I like liberty best. If I put myself under the -protection of anybody, I shall not be allowed to give parties and sit up -all night; but then I have my desk full of long bills, without receipts!" - -"I thought you were to marry Beckendorff and go to Russia," I observed. - -"Oh true, I have come to tell you about Beckendorff. He is off for -Russia this morning, to try to obtain the consent of the Emperor and -that of his his own family. There was no harm in sending him there you -know; for I can easily change my mind when he comes back, if anything -which I like better occurs. He wished George to be his aide-de-camp; but -George would not go." - -"Is not Beckendorff a general in the service of the Emperor?" I asked. - -"Yes, yes! but never mind Beckendorff," answered Amy impatiently. "I -want two hundred pounds directly. It spoils all one's independence and -one's consequence, to ask Englishmen for money. Palmella wishes to have -me altogether under his protection. He is rich; but--but I like Colonel -Sydenham best." - -"Sydenham has no money," said I. "Palmella seems disposed to do a great -deal for you and he is very gentlemanlike; therefore, if a man you must -have, my voice is for Palmella!" - -"Well," said Amy, "I cannot stop! I do not much care. Palmella makes -me sick too. It cannot be helped. You write me a copy directly, to -say I consent to enter into the arrangement, as he calls it, which he -proposed; namely, two hundred pounds a month paid in advance, and the -use of his horses and carriage." This letter was soon despatched to his -Excellency Palmella; and Amy shortly afterwards took her leave. - -The next day as I was returning home from my solitary walk, reflections, -the most despondingly melancholy, crowded on my mind. I thought of the -youth I was passing away in passions wild and ungovernable, and, though -ever ready to sacrifice more than life for those I have loved, with real -genuine warmth and tenderness of heart, yet I had perhaps deserved that -none should hereafter remember me with affection; for my actions had -been regulated by the impulse and feelings of that heart alone, void -of any other principle than what it had dictated. I was roused by a -sudden tap on the shoulder from the coarse, red, ungloved hand of my old -friend, Lord Frederick Bentinck. - -"My lord, I was just going to drown myself, therefore pray do not leave -me here alone." - -"I must," said his lordship, panting, "for I have a great deal to do. I -ought to be at the Horse Guards at this moment." - -"Nonsense! But if you really can do anything, I wish to heaven you would -put on a pair of gloves." - -"I only wish," answered his lordship, speaking loud, in a good-natured -passion, "I only wish that you were compelled to listen to the sort of -things I am obliged to attend to daily. Everybody wants promotion. No -man will be satisfied with an answer. For my part, I have got into a way -of writing my letters as soon as I have stated all that is to be said. I -hate talking, many people expose themselves in that way, so, adio!" - -It occurred to me as soon as his lordship had left me how unfortunate -for his taciturn disposition was the meeting of Sir Murray Maxwell's -friends, which took place some time ago, to commemorate that highly -respected gentleman's broken pate. The noble lord was chosen steward -of the feast and, whatever might be the exposure, either in the way or -lack of intellect, Lord Frederick must inevitably come forward with -a maiden-speech. The said discourse however would, no doubt, have -redounded to the credit and glory of his lordship's able attorney, -in spite of the many restrictions he had received not to put in any -break-teeth long words; but, alas! his lordship was not aware of the -defect of a memory which had never been so exerted, and, at the very -critical moment, after he had risen to address the attentive assembly, -he discovered with dismay that he had forgotten every word of his -speech. What was to be done? He resolved to address them in detached -sentences, delivered in a voice of thunder; such as, "my principles, -gentlemen--likewise--observe--my friends--but I therefore--being, as I -say--a man of few words, gentlemen." The intervals being filled up with -much gesticulation, everybody advanced their heads and redoubled their -attention, to try to hear what could not be heard. Those who were at a -distance said "we are too far off," and those immediately next to him -thought themselves too near, or suspected the wine had taken an unusual -effect, owing to the heated atmosphere of the crowded apartment. All -resolved to secure better situations on the next meeting, that they -might profit by so fine and affecting a discourse. - -The season for Argyle's departure from London for the North was now -drawing very near. He often spoke of it with regret, and sometimes he -talked about my accompanying him. - -"Not I, indeed!" was my answer; for I was an unsettled sort of being; -and nothing but the whole heart of the man I loved could settle me. - -Lorne had fascinated me and was the first man for whom I had felt the -least passion; but his age made him fitter to be my father than my -friend and companion: and then this Lady W----! How could I fix my -affections on a man whom I knew to be attached still to another woman! -Indeed, even his inconstancy to Lady W---- often disgusted me. - -"You will not accompany me to Scotland then?" said the duke. - -"No!" - -"_Cela, donc, est decide._" - -"_Oui._" - -I was getting into debt, as well as my sister Amy, when it so came to -pass, as I have since heard say, that the--immortal! - -No; that's common; a very outlandish distinction, fitter for a lady in a -balloon. - -The terrific! that will do better. I have seen his grace in his cotton -nightcap. Well then; the terrific Duke of Wellington! the wonder of the -world! Having six feet from the tail to the head, and--but there is -a certain technicality in the expressions of the gentleman at Exeter -Change, when he has occasion to show off a wild beast, which it would -be vanity in me to presume to imitate; so leaving out his dimensions, -&c. &c., it was even the Duke of Wellington, whose laurels, like those -of the giant in _The Vicar of Wakefield_, had been hardly earned by -the sweat of his little dwarf's brows, and the loss of their little -legs, arms and eyes; who, feeling himself amorously given--it was in -summer--one sultry evening, ordered his coachman to set him down at the -White Horse Cellar in Piccadilly, whence he sallied forth on foot to -No. 2 or 3 in Berkeley Street, and rapped hastily at the door, which -was immediately opened by the tawdry, well-rouged housekeeper of Mrs. -Porter, who, with a significant nod of recognition, led him into her -mistress's boudoir and then hurried away, simpering, to acquaint the -good Mrs. Porter with the arrival of one of her oldest customers. - -Mrs. Porter, on entering her boudoir, bowed low; but she had bowed -lower still to his grace, who had paid but shabbily for the last _bonne -fortune_ she had contrived to procure him. - -"Is it not charming weather?" said Mrs. Porter, by way of managing -business with something like decency. - -"There is a beautiful girl just come out," said his grace, without -answering her question, "a very fine creature; they call her Harriette, -and----" - -"My lord," exclaimed Mrs. Porter, interrupting him; "I have had three -applications this very month for the girl they call Harriette, and I -have already introduced myself to her." - -This was a fact, which happened while I was in Somers-town, and which I -have forgotten to relate. - -"It was," continued Mrs. Porter, "at the very earnest request of General -Walpole. She is the wildest creature I ever saw. She did not affect -modesty, nor appear in the least offended at my intrusion. Her first -question was 'Is your man handsome?' I answered, frankly, that the -general was more than sixty years of age; at which account she laughed -heartily; and then, seeming to recollect herself, she said she really -was over head and ears in debt; and therefore must muster up courage to -receive one visit from her antiquated admirer at my house." - -"Well?" interrupted Wellington, half jealous, half disgusted. - -"Well, my lord," continued Mrs. Porter, "the appointment was made for -eight o'clock on the following evening, at which hour the old general -was punctual and fidgeted about the room over this, my lord, for more -than three-quarters of an hour. At last he rung the bell violently. I -answered it; and he told me in a fury he would not thus be trifled with. -I was beginning very earnest protestations when we heard a loud rap at -the street door, and immediately afterwards my housekeeper entered, to -inform me that a lady whose face was covered with a thick black veil, -had just arrived in a hackney-coach, and she had shown her into the best -room." - -"She came then?" inquired Wellington, impatiently, and blowing his nose. - -"You shall hear, my lord," continued Mrs. Porter. "The old general, in a -state of perfect ecstasy, took me by the hand, and begged me to pardon -his testy humour, assuring me that he had been for more than a year -following Harriette, and therefore that this disappointment had been too -much for his stock of patience. - -"I led the way to the room, where we expected to find Harriette. The -black veil did not surprise us. She was too young to be expected to -enter my house void of shame. Judge our astonishment, my lord, when the -_incognita_, throwing back her veil with much affectation, discovered -a wrinkled face, which had weathered at least sixty summers, aye and -winters, too!" - -"'The Lord defend me!' said I. - -"'Who the devil are you?' said the general. - -"'A charming creature,' replied the hag, 'if you did but know me. A -widow, too, dear general, very much at your disposal; for my dear good -man has been dead these thirty years.' - -"'You are a set of----' - -"The general was interrupted by his fair _incognita_, with--'Here is -gallantry! here is treatment of the soft sex! No, Mr. General, not the -worst of your insinuations shall ever make me think the less of myself!' - -"The general, at this moment, beginning to feel a little ashamed, -and completely furious, contrived to gain the street, declaring that -he would never enter my vile house again. His fair one insisted on -following him; and all I could say or do would not prevent her. I know -not what became of them both." - -"My good woman," said Wellington, without making any remarks on her -story, "my time is precious. One hundred guineas are yours, and as much -Harriette's, if you can induce her to give me the meeting." - -"My dear lord," said Mrs. Porter, quite subdued, "what would I not do -to serve you! I will pay Harriette a visit early to-morrow morning; -although my lord, to tell you the truth, I was never half so afraid -of any woman in my life. She is so wild, and appears so perfectly -independent, and so careless of her own interests and welfare, that I -really do not know what is likely to move her." - -"Nonsense!" said Wellington, "it is very well known that the Marquis of -Lorne is her lover." - -"Lord Lorne may have gained Harriette's heart," said Mrs. Porter, just -as if she understood the game of hearts! "However," added she, "I will -not give up the business till I have had an interview with Harriette." - -"And make haste about it," said Wellington taking up his hat, "I shall -call for your answer in two days. In the meantime, if you have anything -like good news to communicate, address a line to Thomas's Hotel, -Berkeley-square." - -These two respectable friends now took leave of each other, as we will -of the subject, _pour le moment, au moins._ - -I rather think it must have been on the very day the above scene took -place that Fanny, Julia, and myself dined together at my house, and Amy -unasked joined us after dinner; because she had nothing better to do. - -"You are welcome," said I to Amy, "so that you bring me no men; but men -I will not admit." - -"Why not?" Amy inquired. - -"Why? because I am not a coquette like you, and it fatigues me to death -to be eternally making the agreeable to a set of men who might be all -buried and nobody would miss them. Besides, I have seen such a man!" - -"What manner of man have you seen?" asked Fanny. - -"A very god!" retorted I. - -"Who is he?" inquired Amy. - -"I do not know," was my answer. - -"What is his name?" - -"I cannot tell." - -"Where did you see him?" - -"In Sloane Street, riding on horseback, and followed by a large dog." - -"What a simpleton you are," observed Amy. - -"I never made myself so ridiculous about any man yet," I observed, "as -you have done about that frightful, pale, William Ponsonby." - -"Oh, he is indeed a most adorable heavenly creature," rejoined Amy, -turning up her eyes in a fit of heroics. - -"Good gracious! how can people be so blind," exclaimed I. "Why he has -not a single point of beauty about him." - -"And what," I continued, "have you done with Palmella?" - -"Oh!" replied Amy, in some little confusion, "I have never seen him -since." - -"Did you send the letter I wrote for you?" - -"Yes," answered Amy. - -"And did he send you the two hundred pounds?" - -"Directly," rejoined Amy, "with a letter full of professions of the -deepest gratitude." - -"And where is that poor dear little man now?" inquired I. - -"God knows!" replied Amy. "I have been denied to him ever since. -Sydenham has been telling me that I am too beautiful, and it would -really be too great a sacrifice for me to throw myself away on Palmella." - -"Did Sydenham say your returning the two hundred pounds would be too -great a sacrifice also?" - -"No! but I have spent it." - -It was now growing late, and we separated. - - - - -CHAPTER IV - - -The next morning my servant informed me that a lady desired to speak a -word to me. Her name was Porter. - -"You are come to scold me for sending my old nurse to console the -general?" said I, when I entered the room where she was waiting. - -"Not at all, my dear, wild young lady," answered Mrs. Porter; "but I am -now come to inform you that you have made the conquest of a very fine, -noble, unexceptionable man." - -"Delightful," said I. "Who is he?" - -"I dare not tell you his name," interrupted Mrs. Porter, "but you may -rest assured that he is a man of fashion and rank." - -"It will not do!" reiterated I, striking my head. "Tell your friend that -I have no money, that I do not know how to take care of myself, and -Argyle takes no care of me. Tell him that nobody wants a real steady -friend more than I do; but I cannot meet a stranger as a lover. Tell -him all this, if he is really handsome that is to say (for the stranger -I had twice met riding down Sloane Street, accompanied by his large -dog, had lately run often in my head), and let me know what he says -to-morrow." - -Mrs. Porter acquiesced, and hearing a loud rap at my door, she hastily -took her leave. - -This was Fanny. At his own earnest request, she had brought me the son -of the rich Freeling, secretary to the General Post Office; saying, "Mr. -Freeling will allow me no rest, till I have made him known to you." - -The young man was civil and humble, and kept a proper distance; and was -rather a bore. In point of fact, at least in my humble opinion, there -is no endurable medium between men of the very highest fashion and -honest tradesmen, to those who have once acquired a taste and habit of -living with any high-bred people. Young Freeling was a gentleman, as -far as grammar and eating with his fork went; and Fanny proposed our -going to Covent Garden together that evening. She wanted to show little -Fanny, for by that appellation we distinguished her eldest daughter, the -Harlequin farce, before she returned to school. - -"What is the play?" said I. - -"_Julius Caesar_," answered Freeling. - -I was pleased beyond measure at the idea of seeing this play. - -I had been at but three plays in my life, all comedies. I shall never -forget the delight I experienced in witnessing that fine scene between -Brutus and Cassius where they quarrel, performed by John Kemble and -Charles Young! Were I to live to the age of a hundred I should not -forget John Kemble's energetic delivery of those beautiful lines, so -finely expressive of virtuous indignation, so rich in eloquence, in -force and in nerve. In short I, like Mark Antony, being no scholar, can -only speak right on, and know not how to praise the poet as he merits. -Yet few perhaps among the most learned have, in their hearts, done more -honour to some of the natural beauties of Shakespeare than I have. I -just now alluded to this passage, - - What, shall one of us, - That struck the foremost man of all this world - But for supporting robbers; shall we now, - Contaminate our fingers with base bribes? - And sell the mighty share of our large honours, - For so much trash, as may be grasped thus? - -Neither was Young's excellent performance of Cassius lost upon me. The -feeling manner in which he expressed these lines brought more tears into -my eyes than any love scene, however pathetic, could have done: - - I that denied thee gold, will give my heart: - Strike, as thou didst at Caesar; for, I know, - When thou didst hate him worst, thou lov'dst him better - Than ever thou lov'dst Cassius. - -I am not sitting down here to write a book of quotations; but I could -not help offering my mite of praise to the memory of that great actor -whose likeness I shall never behold again on earth: and such was the -impression Kemble made on me, that methinks I hear his accent in my ear, -and the very tone of that voice, which made my heart thrill so long ago, -while he was thus taking leave of Cassius: - - And whether we shall meet again I know not; - Therefore our everlasting farewell take. - For ever, and for ever, farewell Cassius! - If we do meet again, why we shall smile; - If not, why then this parting was well made. - -I begged to be excused remaining to see the Harlequin farce, as it would -have been impossible for me to have witnessed such an exhibition after -_Julius Caesar_, and I was allowed to drive home alone, for I insisted on -not robbing Fanny of the protection of our worthy general postman. - -The next morning I received another visit from Mrs. Porter, who informed -me that she had just had an interview with my new lover and had reported -to him all I had desired her to say. - -"Since you object to meet a stranger," continued Mrs. Porter, "his grace -desires me to say, he hopes you can keep a secret, and to inform you, -that it is the Duke of Wellington who so anxiously desires to make your -acquaintance." - -"I have heard of his grace often," said I, in a tone of deep -disappointment: for I had been indulging a kind of hope about the -stranger with the great Newfoundland dog, with whose appearance I had -been so unusually struck as to have sought for him every day, and I -thought of him every hour. - -"His grace," Mrs. Porter proceeded, "only entreats to be allowed to make -your acquaintance. His situation, you know, prevents the possibility of -his getting regularly introduced to you." - -"It will never do," said I, shaking my head. - -"Be assured," said Mrs. Porter, "he is a remarkably fine-looking man, -and, if you are afraid of my house, promise to receive him in your own, -at any hour when he may be certain to find you alone." - -"Well," thought I, with a sigh; "I suppose he must come. I do not -understand economy, and am frightened to death at debts. Argyle is going -to Scotland; and I shall want a steady sort of friend of some kind, in -case a bailiff should get hold of me." - -"What shall I say to his grace?" Mrs. Porter inquired, growing impatient. - -"Well, then," said I, "since it must be so, tell his grace that I will -receive him to-morrow at three; but mind, only as a common acquaintance!" - -Away winged Wellington's Mercury, as an old woman wings it at sixty, -and most punctual to my appointment, at three on the following day, -Wellington made his appearance. He bowed first, then said: - -"How do you do?" Then thanked me for having given him permission to call -on me; and then wanted to take hold of my hand. - -"Really," said I, withdrawing my hand, "for such a renowned hero, you -have very little to say for yourself." - -"Beautiful creature!" uttered Wellington, "where is Lorne?" - -"Good gracious!" said I, out of all patience at his stupidity; "what -come you here for, duke?" - -"Beautiful eye, yours!" explained Wellington. - -"Aye man! they are greater conquerors than ever Wellington shall be; -but, to be serious, I understood you came here to try to make yourself -agreeable?" - -"What child! do you think that I have nothing better to do than to make -speeches to please ladies?" said Wellington. - -"_Apres avoir depeuple la terre vous devez faire tout pour la -repeupler_," I replied. - -"You should see me where I shine," Wellington observed, laughing. - -"Where's that, in Gods name?" - -"In a field of battle," answered the hero. - -"_Battez vous, donc, et qu'un autre me fasse la cour!_" said I. - -But love scenes, or even love quarrels, seldom tend to amuse the reader, -so, to be brief, what was a mere man, even though it were the handsome -Duke of Argyle, to a Wellington! - -Argyle grew jealous of Wellington's frequent visits, and hiding himself -in his native woods wrote me the following very pathetic letter. - - "I am not quite sure whether I do, or do not love you--I - am afraid I did too much;--but, as long as you find pleasure in - the society of another, and a hero too, I am well contented to - be a mere common mortal, a monkey, or what you will. I too have - my heroines waiting for me in all the woods about here. Here are - the wood-cutter's daughter and the gardener's maid always waiting - for my gracious presence, and to which of them I shall throw the - handkerchief I know not. How then can I remain constant to your - inconstant charms? I could have been a little romantic about you it - is true; but I always take people as I find them, _et j'ai ici beau - jeu_. Adieu. - - "I am very fond of you still, for all this. - - "ARGYLE." - - -This was my answer: - - "Indeed as you are as yet the only man who has ever had the - least influence over me, therefore I entreat you do not forget - me! I wish I were the woodcutter's daughter awaiting your gracious - presence, in the woods for days! weeks! months! so that at last you - would reward me with the benevolent smile of peace and forgiveness, - or that illumined, beautiful expression of more ardent feeling - such as I have often inspired and shall remember for ever, come - what may; and whether your fancy changes or mine. You say you take - people as you find them; therefore you must and you shall love me - still, with all my imperfections on my foolish head, and that, - dearly. - - "HARRIETTE." - - -[Illustration: George, 6th Duke of Argyll.] - -Wellington was now my constant visitor--a most unentertaining one, -Heaven knows! and, in the evenings, when he wore his broad red ribbon, -he looked very like a rat-catcher. - -"Do you know," said I to him one day, "do you know the world talk about -hanging you?" - -"Eh?" said Wellington. - -"They say you will be hanged, in spite of all your brother Wellesley can -say in your defence." - -"Ha!" said Wellington, very seriously, "what paper do you read?" - -"It is the common talk of the day," I replied. - -"They must not work me in such another campaign," Wellington said, -smiling, "or my weight will never hang me." - -"Why you look a little like the apothecary in Romeo already," I said. - -In my walks Brummell often joined me, and I now walked oftener than -usual: indeed whenever I could make anybody walk with me; because I -wanted to meet the man with his Newfoundland dog, who was not the sort -of man either that generally strikes the fancy of a very young female; -for he was neither young nor at all gaily drest. No doubt he was very -handsome; but it was that pale expressive beauty, which oftener steals -upon us by degrees, after having become acquainted, than strikes us at -first sight. - -I had of late frequently met him, and he always turned his head back -after he had passed me; but whether he admired, or had indeed observed -me, or whether he only looked back after his large dog, was what puzzled -and tormented me. "Better to have been merely observed by that fine -noble-looking being, than adored by all the men on earth besides," -thought I, being now at the very tip-top of my heroics. - -Dean Swift mentions having seen, in the grand academy of Lagado, an -ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method of building houses, -by beginning at the roof and working downwards to the foundation; and -which he justified by the like practice of those two prudent insects the -bee and the spider. The operation of my love then was after the model of -this architect. The airy foundation on which I built my castles caused -them ever to descend. Once in my life, when I raised my air-built fabric -unusually high, it fell with such a dead weight on my heart, that the -very vital spark of existence was nearly destroyed. I have never enjoyed -one hour's health since. Now, however, I look on all my past bitter -suffering, caused by this same love, which many treat as a plaything -and a child, and which I believe to be one of the most arbitrary, -ungovernable passions in nature, as a wild dream, remembered by me -merely as I recollect three days of delirium, by which I was afflicted -after the scarlet fever, with the idea of rats and mice running over my -head, and which thus kept me in a frenzy, from the mere working of a -disordered brain. - -Characters and feelings, unnaturally stretched on the sentimental bed of -torture, must return with violence to their natural tone and dimensions, -says a celebrated French writer. The idol of romantic passion, in some -unlucky moment of common sense or common life, is discovered to be -the last thing their worshippers would wish the idol to be found--a -mere human being! with passions, and infirmities, and wants, utterly -unprovided for by the statutes of romance. Soon, we find too, a certain -falling off in our own powers of human life, a subjection to common -accidents, to ill health, and to indigence, which sicklies o'er the rich -colouring of passion with the pale cast of humanity. - -But to proceed--if, in my frequent walks about Sloane Street and Hyde -Park, I failed to meet the stranger, whose whole appearance had so -affected my imagination, I was sure to see George Brummell, whose -foolish professions of love I could not repeat, for I scarcely heard -them. One day, just as I was going to sit down to dinner with Fanny and -Amy, who was passing the evening with her, I felt a kind of presentiment -come over me, that, if I went into Hyde Park at that moment, I should -meet this stranger. It was past six o'clock. I had never seen him but at -that hour. They both declared that I was mad, and Lord Alvanly calling -on Fanny at that moment, they retailed my folly to his lordship. - -"I dare say he is some dog-fancier, or whipper-in, or something of the -sort," said Alvanly. "God bless my soul! I thought you had more sense. -What does Argyle say to all this?" - -Lord Lowther now entered the room. - -"How very rude you all are," said Fanny. "I have told you frequently -that this is my dinner-hour, and you never attend to it!" - -"It is those d-mn grocers, the Mitchels," said Alvanly, "who have taught -you to dine at these hours! Who the d---l dines at six? why I am only -just out of bed!" - -Lord Lowther made many civil apologies. He wanted to have the pleasure -of engaging us three to dine with him on the following day, to meet the -Marquis of Hertford, then Lord Yarmouth; a Mr. Graham, the son of Sir -James Graham, Bart.; Street, the editor of the _Courier_ newspaper; and -J.W. Croker, M.P. of the Admiralty. - -We accepted the invitation, and Lord Lowther, after begging us not to be -later than half-past seven, took his leave. - -Alvanly accompanied me as far as Hyde Park, laughing at me and my man -and his dog all the way. The park was now entirely empty--nothing like a -hero, nor even a dog to be seen. - -"I must now wish you good morning," said Alvanly. "I am not going to be -groom," he added in my ear. - -I shook hands with him, without at all understanding what he meant, and -walked down towards that side of the river where I had once or twice -seen the stranger coaxing his dog to swim by throwing stones into the -water. - -If I could but once see him walking with any man I had ever met before, -then at least I should have a chance of learning his name. I continued -to wander up and down the river for nearly an hour. As I was returning -home disappointed as usual, I met an elderly gentleman, whose name I -forget, though we had often seen each other in society. He stopped to -converse with me on common subjects for a few minutes and, just as he -had taken his leave, and was slowly walking his horse away, a very -clean, aged woman came up to me and begged assistance. Her manners were -unlike these of a common beggar. She smiled on me, and looked as if she -would have been nearly as much pleased by a few kind words as with money. - -I always liked very old people when they were clean and appeared -respectable, and I was unusually interested by this woman's demeanour. I -eagerly searched my reticule. Alas! it was empty. I turned a wistful eye -towards the old gentleman who had left me. His prim seat on horseback -struck me altogether as too formidable. "If I knew him a little better," -thought I, hesitating, as I saw him stop to speak to his groom. He -turned his harsh-looking countenance at that moment towards me. "It will -never do," thought I, and then I expressed my sincere regret to the poor -old woman that I had nothing to give her. - -"Never mind," replied the good old creature, smiling very kindly on me, -"never mind, my dear young lady. Many, I bless God, are more in want -than I am." - -"Wait here a minute," said I. - -My desire to assist her now overcoming my repugnance, I ran as fast as I -possibly could after the old gentleman, who was disappearing, and quite -out of breath, and in the deepest confusion told him I had forgotten my -purse, and had occasion for half a crown, which I hoped he would lend me. - -"Certainly, with pleasure," said the old gentleman, drawing out his -purse and presenting me with what I had asked for. - -I made him many confused apologies; and turning hastily towards some -trees, which led by rather a shorter road to where I had left the -old woman, I came immediately in close contact with the stranger, -whose person had been concealed by two large elms and who might have -been observing me for some time. I scarcely dared encourage the -flattering idea. It made me wild; and yet, why should such a noble, -fashionable-looking man have pulled up his horse, between two trees, -where there was nothing else to be seen? - -After all, I was only encouraging the most absurd vanity, contrary to -common sense. Might he not be watching his dog? Did he ever look at -me? I know not! After passing days and days in looking for him, his -sudden appearance caused such a tremulousness to come over me that I -wanted courage, once, to raise my eyes to his face; so that I rather -felt than knew I was near him, whom now I passed as quickly as my -extreme agitation would permit, and soon came up with the old woman, and -presenting the half-crown and my card desired her to call and see me. - -The poor old nervous creature shed tears of gratitude, called me a -dear, sweet young lady, assured me that she had kept a respectable inn -for thirty years at Glasgow, which from her language I was inclined to -believe, and then took her leave. - -I now ventured to turn my head back, believing myself at a safe distance -from the stranger. He had quitted his hiding-place, and was slowly -walking his very fine horse towards me. "There he is," thought I. "No -one is near us, and yet, in another minute or two he will have passed -me, and be perhaps lost to me for ever." I began to muster all the -energies of my character, generally fertile in resources, to consider of -a remedy for this coming evil. "If any man could be bribed to follow him -slyly!" thought I, hastily looking about me. The stranger drew nearer. -Alas! he will have passed me for ever perhaps in another instant. Surely -I might have said, with King Richard, - - A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse! - -since, without one, who could follow the stranger? I heard the sound of -his horse's feet close behind me. "I will fix my eyes upon his face this -time, to ascertain if he looks at me," said I to myself with a sudden -effort of desperate resolution; which I put in practice the next moment. -I thought our eyes met, and that the stranger blushed; but his were so -immediately withdrawn from my face, that I went home, still in doubt -whether he had or had not taken sufficient notice of me even to know me -again by sight. - -I related this adventure to Fanny on my return. She gave me some dinner, -and advised me, with friendly seriousness, not to make such a fool of -myself about a man I had never spoken to, and who after all might turn -out to be vulgar, or ill-mannered, or of bad character. - -"True," answered I, "and I shall be glad to learn that this man is -either of those, for vulgarity will make me heart-whole again in an -instant. In short, at any rate, I look for my cure in a future knowledge -of this man's character. Nothing is perfect under the sun; and rank, -talents, wit, beauty, character, manners, all must combine in that human -being who shall ever make me die of a broken heart. Therefore I am safe." - -"I had not an idea that you were such a simpleton, or half so -sentimental," retorted Fanny. "I wonder if I should admire the man!" - -"We will try and meet him together," I replied; "but enough of a subject -which begins to make me melancholy--as though he were my fate! How many -fine, elegant-looking young men have I not met about the streets and at -the opera, without their making the slightest impression on me. And what -do I know of this man beyond mere beauty of countenance! yet I think, if -I could but touch with my hand the horse he rode, or the dog he seems so -fond of, I should be half wild with joy." - -"What incredible nonsense, my dear Harriette," said Fanny. - -"But true, upon my word," I replied, "and I cannot help myself." - -Fanny shook her head at me, and I left her, to dream of the stranger. - - - - -CHAPTER V - - -By a little before eight on the following evening, the party I have -before mentioned all sat down to dinner at Lord Lowther's in Pall Mall. -Lord Yarmouth was at the bottom of the table, opposite to Lord Lowther; -Amy, on Lowther's right hand, Fanny at his left; Street, the editor, -was her neighbour; and I sat next to Croker. Poor Julia had not been -invited. Lord Hertford, who at his own table is always particularly -entertaining, was a little out of sorts here, which generally happened -to him when he dined with Lowther, who gave a very bad dinner. - -Lord Hertford very candidly owns that he dislikes a bad dinner; and I -had heard him own it so often to Lord Lowther, that I was surprised -his lordship invited him at all, unless he had thought proper to have -provided a good one. - -The claret, Lowther said, he wanted Lord Hertford's opinion about, -having just provided himself with a large quantity of it, in consequence -of its quality having been strongly recommended to him. - -Our first glass had scarcely gone round, when Lord Hertford said, in -his usual, loud, odd voice, addressing Lowther, "You asked me for my -opinion, and I will give it you; your claret is not worth a d--n." - -Poor Lowther looked a little annoyed. - -Croker fought on his side. "I must differ in opinion with you, Lord -Hertford," said he, in his starched pragmatical manner. "I think the -claret excellent." - -"With all my heart," said Hertford, in a tone and manner of the most -perfect indifference. - -"How is your poetical doctor?" Lowther asked me; alluding to my -physician, Doctor Nevinson, who, during a serious illness in which he -had attended me, had been kind enough to sing my praise in his best -rhymes. - -I was very earnest in my commendations of that gentleman, believing -myself under some obligations to him. - -"These doctors are lucky fellows," Croker observed, affectedly. - -"Not always," said I. "I have here a few lines, poor old Eliot of the -Audit Office made at my house this morning, on Dr. Nevinson's hard -case;" and I put into his hand a small bit of paper which was in my -reticule. - -"What flirtation is going on there, pray, between you two?" inquired -Street, who observed me. - -"Nothing," I replied, "but a few bad rhymes about Dr. Nevinson." - -"Read! read!" exclaimed they all. - -Between Lord Lowther's scanty courses there was ever room for -reflection, even to madness. - -Mr. Secretary Croker read, as follows: - - THE PHYSICIAN'S PRAYER TO AEOLUS. - - God of the winds, oh! grant my prayer, - And end this solemn frolic; - Or, when I next attend the fair, - Defend them from the cholic. - - But if thy brother of the bow - To physic bind me fast, - Grant that the old from me may go, - For cure, to Dr. Last! - - Release me from the dry concern - Of listening to their moaning, - And from your votary ever turn - Old dames with cholic groaning! - - For patients, oh, to me impart - The gay, the young, the witty; - Such as may interest the heart. - This prayer, oh grant, in pity! - -"Allow me to look at them," said Street, as soon as Croker had finished -reading. - -"I think Eliot clever," said Hertford. "What has become of him?" - -"Oh," replied Amy, "I believe he is going to die he has grown so very -dull and heavy. Do you know, I told him a very interesting story one day -last week, and he did not at all listen to it; and before I had finished -repeating it a second time he fell fast asleep." - -"Poor fellow!" said Street: he could not stand the second edition. - -Mr. Graham sat on my left hand, and was as attentive to me as possible. -Graham was a beauty; a very Apollo in form, with handsome features, -particularly his teeth and eyes; sensible too, and well educated. - -"I brought you two together, because I knew you would fall in love with -each other," said Lowther. - -"How impossible," thought I, as the stranger in Hyde Park, as I last saw -him, or fancied I saw him blush, crossed my mind. I was not disposed to -admire anything else, indeed; but I rather think Graham was pedantic. - -He spoke to me a good deal of Fred Lamb, with whom he had been -travelling on the Continent. - -"Fred Lamb has often been jealous of me," said Graham; "but he would be -jealous of any man; yet I have always liked Fred much better than ever -he liked me." - -"His passion for women is so very violent," I observed, "that somehow or -other, it disgusted me." - -"All ladies are not so refined," replied Graham, laughing. - -"Perhaps not," answered I; "perhaps I may not be so refined when I like -my man better." - -Street was all this time making hard love to Fanny. Poor Street though -a very pleasant man, is, as he knows, a very ugly one. Fanny's extreme -good nature was always a Refuge for the Destitute. If ever there was a -lame, a deaf, a blind, or an ugly man, in our society, Fanny invariably -made up to that man immediately, to put him in countenance. Nay, she -would, I believe, have made up to the Duke of Devonshire, blind, deaf, -absent and all, had he fallen in her way. - -At this moment, my ear caught the word cruel, as applied to Fanny by -Street. - -"Quite the reverse, Fanny is all goodness," I exclaimed. - -"Yes," rejoined Street, "as far as words go." - -"It is you, Mr. Street, who cruelly neglect me, on the contrary," said -Fanny, laughing. - -"Never!" answered Street, laying his hand on his heart. - -"Then why did you not call at the oilshop?" Fanny asked; alluding to -the place where she had formerly been lodging for a short time in Park -Street, and to which she had invited Street. - -"Wounded pride!" observed Street. - -"She would have poured oil into your wounds," said Lord Hertford. - -"I'll thank you to pass me another bottle of this bad claret," squeaked -out Croker; "for I must be candid enough to say that I like it much." - -"I wont abuse it again," Lord Hertford observed, "for fear you should -get drunk." - -I now grew tired of waiting for Amy to make a first move, and began -to think she was ill disposed in the humility of her heart to take -upon her the privilege of eldest sister: so I made it for her and we -retired to Lowther's drawing-room, from which we took a peep into his -dressing-room, where we found a set of vile, dirty combs, brushes, -towels, and dressing-gowns. Lowther, who always has a pain in his liver, -and knows not how to take kindly to his bottle, entered his apartment, -just as we were loudest in our exclamations of horror and dismay, as -these said dirty objects offered themselves to our view. - -"For heaven's sake," said Amy, with whom Lowther was certainly in love, -"do turn away your valet, and burn these nasty, dirty brushes and -things." - -"It will be no use, I believe," replied Lowther; "for every valet will -copy his master." - -"What! then," exclaimed Amy, "you admit the master is dirty?" - -Lowther feared he must plead guilty. - -"I am very glad I ran away from you," retorted Amy, who had gone with -him into the country, and afterwards cut him because he did not ask for -a separate dressing-room at the inns on the road. - -The other gentlemen soon joined us in the drawing-room, drank their -coffee, and then we were all on to the Opera. - -I had the honour of taking Mr. Graham there in my carriage with Fanny. -Amy went with Lord Lowther. - -We found Julia in our private box, alone and half asleep, dressed very -elegantly; and, in my opinion, looking very interesting and well. - -"What, alone?" said I. "Why do you not make the men more civil?" and I -introduced her to young Graham. - -Julia had lately got nearly to the bottom of her heroics with Cotton. -She was ashamed to admit the idea even to herself; she never would own -it to me: but the fact was, she was tired of Cotton, and dying, and -sighing, and longing secretly for something new. Young and beautiful, -her passions, like those of a man, were violent and changeable; in -addition to which she had lately suffered every possible indignity and -inconvenience which debts and duns could inflict; besides, Fanny and -I, who knew that Mr. Cotton had a wife and large family at home, had -laboured with all our hearts to disgust Julia with Cotton, believing -that it would be for the good of both that they separated for ever. -Cotton had not a shilling to spare for the support of Julia's children; -and Julia's accouchements took place regularly once in eleven months. -She had often vainly applied to her parents, as well as to her uncle, -Lord Carysfort, who only wrote to load her with reproaches. - -As soon as Graham had left us, Julia expressed her admiration of him, in -very warm terms. - -"He has no money," said Fanny; "besides, I can see that he is making up -to Harriette. Do, my dear Julia, consider all your beautiful children; -and, if you can leave Cotton to his poor wife, and must form another -connection, let it be with some one who can contribute to the support of -your young family." - -Julia assured us she was at that moment actually in expectation of being -arrested; and she entreated that Fanny or I would make an application to -some of her noble relations, which she promised to do. - -This point being decided, she again talked of Graham's beauty, wondered -where he was, and anxiously inquired whether I was sure that he had -taken a fancy for me. - -"Not a bit sure," I replied. "I know nothing at all of the matter, -neither do I care." - -Fanny then related all about my last meeting with my stranger and his -dog to Julia, who seemed to understand my sensations much better than -Fanny did. - -"Oh, _mon Dieu_?" interrupted I, "there is in that box next to Lady -Foley's, a man--no, it is still handsomer than my stranger! and yet" -(the stranger turned his head towards our side of the house)--"Oh!" -continued I, taking hold of Fanny's hand, in a fit of rapture, "it is -he! only his hat, till now, concealed that beautiful head of hair." - -"Where? where?" cried out they both at once. - -"Oh! that some one would come into our box now and tell us who he is!" I -exclaimed. - -"How provoking you are," said Julia. "Why do not you point out the man -to us?" - -"It is that man, who is laughing.--Oh! I had no idea that his teeth were -so very beautiful!" - -"Dear me, how tiresome," observed Fanny, quietly. "If you will not tell -us which is your man let us talk of something else." - -"He is there," replied I, "next to Lady Foley's box, leaning on his arm." - -Julia put her glass to her eye as usual; being remarkably short-sighted -she could distinguish nothing without it. - -"I know him," said Julia, after fixing him for some time. - -"Not much?" I observed, almost breathless. "Did you ever speak to him?" - -"I have met him in society, when I was a girl," continued Julia; "but I -was intimate with a girl, to whom, when young, he proposed. Her wedding -clothes were made; she used to sleep in my room, with his picture round -her neck. She adored him beyond all that could be imagined of love and -devotion, and within a few days of their proposed marriage he declared -off. His excuse was that his father refused his consent." - -"For many years," continued Julia, "my friend's sufferings were severe; -her parents trembled for her reason. No one was permitted to name her -former lover in her presence. She is now Lady Conyngham." - -"And his name?" said I. - -"Lord Ponsonby, who is supposed to be the handsomest man in England: but -he must now be forty, if not more," replied Julia. - -"I wish he were sixty," I answered. "As it is, I have no chance: but -indeed I never thought I had. He is a sort of man I think I could be -wicked enough to say my prayers to. I could live in his happiness only -without his knowing me. I could wait for hours near his house for the -chance of seeing him pass or hearing his voice." - -Fanny laughed outright. - -Julia only exclaimed, "Well done, Harriette! You are more romantic than -ever I was at your age, and I thought that was impossible." - -"You did not love Lord Ponsonby," retorted I. - -"True," said Julia: "badinage apart, Ponsonby is, as I have always been -told, very near perfection. But what chance can you have? He is married -to the loveliest creature on earth--the youngest daughter of Lord -Jersey." - -"I knew very well," sighed I despondingly, "before I heard of his -marriage, that I should never be anything to him." - -"I will tell you where he lives," said Julia. "It is in Curzon Street, -May Fair." - -"Well then," thought I, "at least when he passes me, I shall not, as -yesterday, fancy I am looking at him for the last time." - -Upon the whole my spirits were violently elated this evening. Lord -Ponsonby I believe did not perceive me. I was most anxious, yet afraid, -to see his wife. - -"I cannot find her box," observed Julia, "else I should know her -immediately." - -We now lost sight of his lordship for some time, he having left the -box I first saw him in. I perceived him for an instant afterwards, but -missed him altogether before the opera was over. - -"I am glad I have not seen his wife," said I, after we were seated in -the carriage. "I hope I shall never see her as long as I live." - -I resolved now to make no kind of advances to become acquainted with -Lord Ponsonby; but on the very next evening I indulged myself in passing -his house at least fifty times. I saw and examined the countenances of -his footmen and the colour of his window-curtains: even the knocker -of his door escaped not my veneration, since Lord Ponsonby must have -touched it so often. My very nature seemed now to have undergone a -change. I began to dislike society, and considered the unfortunate -situation I had fallen into with horror; because I fancied Lord -Ponsonby would despise me. I often reflected whether there might yet be -some mighty virtue in my power, some sacrifice of self, some exertion of -energy, by which I might, one day, deserve to be respected, or to have -my memory respected by Lord Ponsonby after I was dead. - -The fact is, I really now lived but in his sight, and I only met him -once or twice in a week, to see him pass me without notice, At last I -began to believe he really did see me in the park with pleasure, when by -any accident late in the evening, I happened to be alone and the park -empty. Once he rode behind me to my very door, and passed it, without -seeming to look at me: the dread of being by him accused of boldness -ever prevented my observation. - -This day, on entering my house, I mounted hastily up into my garret, -and got upon the leads, there to watch if Lord Ponsonby turned back, or -whether he had merely followed me by accident on his way somewhere else. -He rode on almost as far as I could see, and then turned back again, and -galloped hastily by my door as though afraid of being observed by me. - -"Suppose he were to love me!" thought I, and the idea caused my heart -to beat wildly. I would not dwell upon it. It was ridiculous. It would -only expose me to after-disappointment. What was I, that Lord Ponsonby -should think about me? What could I ever be to him? Still there was no -reason which I could discover, why I might not love Lord Ponsonby. I -was made for love, and I looked for no return. I should have liked him -to have been assured that for the rest of his life mine was devoted to -him. In short, though I scarcely ventured to admit it, hope did begin -to predominate. I was young, and my wishes had hitherto rarely been -suppressed by disappointment. - -My reflections were interrupted by my servant, who brought me a letter -from George Brummell, full of nonsensical vows and professions. "When," -he wrote, "beautiful Harriette, will you admit me into your house? -Why so obstinately refuse my visits? Tell me, I do entreat you, when -I may but throw myself at your feet without fear of derision from a -public homage on the pavement, or dislocation from the passing hackney -coaches?" The rest I have forgotten. - -Wellington called on me the next morning before I had finished my -breakfast. I tried him on every subject I could muster. On all, he was -most impenetrably taciturn. At last he started an original idea of his -own; actual copyright, as Stockdale would call it. - -"I wonder you do not get married, Harriette!" - -(By-the-bye, ignorant people are always wondering.) - -"Why so?" - -Wellington, however, gives no reason for anything unconnected with -fighting, at least since the Convention of Cintra, and he therefore -again became silent. Another burst of attic sentiment blazed forth. - -"I was thinking of you last night, after I got into bed," resumed -Wellington. - -"How very polite to the duchess," I observed. "Apropos to marriage, -duke, how do you like it?" - -Wellington, who seems to make a point of never answering one, continued, -"I was thinking--I was thinking that you will get into some scrape, when -I go to Spain." - -"Nothing so serious as marriage neither, I hope!" - -"I must come again to-morrow, to give you a little advice," continued -Wellington. - -"Oh, let us have it all out now, and have done with it." - -"I cannot," said Wellington, putting on his gloves, and taking a hasty -leave of me. - -"I am glad he is off," thought I, "for this is indeed very uphill work. -This is worse than Lord Craven." - -As soon as he was gone, I hastened to Curzon Street. The window-shutters -of Lord Ponsonby's house were all closed. How disappointed and -low-spirited I felt at the idea that his lordship had left town! -Suspense was insufferable; so I ventured to send my servant to inquire -when the family were expected in London. - -"In about a month," was the answer. "I must forget this man," thought -I, "it is far too great a bore": and yet I felt that to forget him was -impossible. - -Things went on in the same way for a week or two. Amy had closed with -Mr. Sydenham's proposal, and changed her name to that of Mrs. Sydenham. -She called on Fanny one morning, when her drawing-room was half full of -beaux. - -"Beautiful Amy, how do you do?" said Nugent, with that eternal smile of -his!--it is so vulgar to be always looking joyful, and full of glee, I -cannot think what he can mean by it. - -"Oh," said Amy, withdrawing her hand, "I must never flirt, nor have any -beaux again, I must now lead a pure, virtuous, chaste, and proper life." - -"Who has laid such an appalling embargo on you?" I asked. - -"Why, do you not know that Sydenham and I are become man and wife? and -that I have changed my name and my home for his?" - -After wishing Mrs. Sydenham joy I took my leave. On reaching home I -found young Freeling in my drawing-room, waiting to pay his respects to -me. - -I began to think I had scarcely done this young man justice, he appeared -so very humble, quiet and amiable. He blushed exceedingly when I -addressed him, but--never mind the vanity--it proceeded more from a -sort of respectful growing passion towards me, than, as I had at first -imagined, from _mauvaise honte._ - -Freeling was not fashionable, as I have said before; but I must add that -I believe even his enemy could say nothing worse of him. - -"I will not deceive you," said I to him one day, seeing he was inclined -to follow the thing up steadily, under the impression perhaps that -faint heart never won fair lady. "Some women would make use of your -attentions, your money, and your private boxes, as long as possible; -but I will say this of myself, I know there is not much to be said in -my favour, I never do what I feel to be ungenerous or wrong. I shall -receive you with pleasure as a friend at any time; but if you were to -sit down and sigh for a twelvemonth, you would never get any further. -No speeches, now! You are an interesting young man whom thousands of -amiable women would like, and life is short. _L'amour ne se commande -pas_, perhaps you are going to tell me; and my answer is, that I am sure -it cannot long survive hope, and for you indeed there is none." - -Freeling blushed and looked melancholy and undecided. - -"Shake hands and forgive me," said I, "_Allons. Un peu de philosophie, -mon ami. Que vaut la belle, qui detourne la bouche?_ How ridiculous a -fine, tall, well-looking young man like you will appear, sitting under -one of the willow-trees, in the Green Park!" - -Freeling smiled. - -"There now, I see it is over already," I continued, and changed the -subject, which Freeling had the good sense and good taste never to -renew; and what is more, the good heart to take an opportunity of doing -me a very essential service, some months afterwards, when I believed he -had forgotten me altogether. - -"And pray, madam," the reader may ask, "how came you to be such a -monster, as to call this kind, generous-hearted man a bore, and a -general postman, some time ago?" - -I do not know I am sure; I really am very sorry for it now; but then -the book never will be finished, if I am to stop to make corrections -and alterations; moreover, Stockdale has run away with that part of my -manuscript: so to proceed---- - -Some short time after this mighty elopement, the Duke of Wellington, -who, I presume, had discovered the tough qualities of his heart, which -contributed to obtain him such renown in the field of battle, possessed -no more merit for home service or ladies' uses than did his good -digestion, betook himself again to the wars. He called to take a hasty -leave of me a few hours before his departure. - -"I am off for Spain directly," said Wellington. - -I know not how it was but I grew melancholy. Wellington had relieved -me from many duns, which else had given me vast uneasiness. I saw him -there, perhaps for the last time in my life. Ponsonby was nothing to me, -and out of town; in fact, I had been in bad spirits all the morning, -and strange, but very true, and he remembers it still, when I was about -to say, "God bless you, Wellington!" I burst into tears. They appeared -to afford rather an unusual unction to his soul, and his astonishment -seemed to me not quite unmixed with gratitude. - -"If you change your home," said Wellington, kissing my cheek, "let me -find your address at Thomas's Hotel, as soon as I come to England; and, -if you want anything in the meantime, write to Spain; and do not cry; -and take care of yourself: and do not cut me when I come back." - -"Do you hear?" said Wellington; first wiping away some of my tears with -my handkerchief; and then, kissing my eyes, he said, "God bless you!" -and hurried away. - -Argyle continued to correspond with me; but, if one might judge from -the altered style of his letters, Wellington had made a breach in -his grace's late romantic sentiments in my favour. Breach-making was -Wellington's trade, you know; and little as men of Argyle's nation might -be expected to care about breeches, yet the idea of Wellington often -made him sigh; and sometimes he whistled, which, with Argyle, was just -the same thing. - -I forgot to mention, that, on the day after I met a certain great man -at Julia's house, my servant informed me a gentleman in the parlour -desired to speak to me. - -"Why do not you bring his name?" said I. - -"The gentleman says it does not signify," was my footman's answer. - -"Go, and tell him that I think it does signify; and that I will not -receive people who are ashamed either of me or themselves." - -The man hesitated. - -"Stay," said I, "I will put it down for you," and I wrote what I had -said on a bit of paper. - -My servant brought me back the paper, on the blank side of which was -written, with a pencil, one word. - -I sent it down again, with these words written underneath the word, on -purpose to put him in a passion, "Don't know anybody in that shire." - -The servant returned once more, with one of his lordship's printed -cards, assuring me the gentleman in the parlour was walking about in a -great passion. - -I desired him to be shown upstairs; and, when he entered, I stood up, as -though waiting to hear why he intruded on me. - -"I believe, madam," said his lordship, "some apology is due to you from -me." - -"Are you going to tell me that you were tipsy, when you last did me the -favour to mistake my house for an inn, or something worse?" - -"No! certainly not," answered the peer. - -"Were you quite sober?" - -"Perfectly." - -"Then your late conduct admits of no apology, and you could offer none -which would not humble and greatly wound my pride, to avoid which I must -take the liberty of wishing you a good morning." - -I then rang my bell and left him. - -More than a month had now elapsed since Lord Ponsonby left London, and -I perceived no signs of his return. Yet I never forgot him, although -half the fine young men in town were trying to please me. Amy continued -to give her parties, but soberly; that is to say, Sydenham insisted on -having his house quiet before three in the morning. One evening, when -Fanny and Julia dined with me, I got up from my table to open my window, -and I saw Lord Ponsonby, who was slowly riding by my house, with his -face turned towards my window. This time there could be no doubt as to -his blushing. My happiness was now of a nature too pure to be trifled -with, and I know I could not endure to have it intruded on by any -commonplace remarks. I kept his appearance therefore a profound secret; -although I found it the most difficult thing possible to talk on any -other subject, I thought these women never would have left me. They took -their leave however at last; but not till near twelve o'clock. - -I could not sleep a wink all night! At nine the next morning I rang my -bell, being quite worn out with attempting it. My maid entered my room -with a letter, which had just arrived by the twopenny post. It was as -follows; - - "I have long been very desirous to make your acquaintance: - will you let me? A friend of mine has told me something about you; - but I am afraid you were then only laughing at me; _et il se peut, - qu'un homme passe, ne soit bon que pour cela!_ I hope, at all - events, that you will write me one line, to say you forgive me, and - direct it to my house in town. - - "P." - - -I will not attempt to describe all I felt on the receipt of this first -epistle from Lord Ponsonby. I am now astonished at that infatuation, -which could render a girl like me possessed certainly of a very feeling, -affectionate heart, thus thoughtless and careless of the fate of -another: and that other a young, innocent and lovely wife! Had anybody -reminded me that I was now about to inflict perhaps the deepest wound in -the breast of an innocent wife, I hope and believe I should have stopped -there; and then what pain and bitter anguish I had been spared; but I -declare to my reader that Lady Fanny Ponsonby never once entered my head. - -I had seen little or nothing of the world. I never possessed a really -wise friend, to set me right, advise or admonish me. My mother had ever -seemed happiest in my father's absence, nor did she vex or trouble -herself to watch his steps; and I did not know, or at all events I did -not think, my seeking Lord Ponsonby's acquaintance would be likely to -injure any one of my fellow creatures; or I am sure such a reflection -must have embittered that pure state of happiness I now enjoyed. - -This was my answer to Lord Ponsonby's letter: - - "For the last five months I have scarcely lived but in your - sight, and everything I have done or wished, or hoped or thought - about, has had a reference to you and your happiness. Now tell me - what you wish. - - "HARRIETTE." - - -Reply: - - "I fancy, though we never met, that you and I are in fact - acquainted, and understand each other perfectly. If I do not affect - to disbelieve you, you will not say I am vain; and when I tell you - that we cannot meet immediately, owing to a very severe domestic - calamity, you will not say I am cold. In the meantime will you - write to me? The little watch I have got for you, I am not quite - satisfied with. I have seen one in better taste, and flatter. But - my poor father is dying and counts the minutes of my absence, or I - could have found one to please you. However, you will keep this for - my sake. I will leave it myself at your house this evening. I can - scarcely describe to you how exhausted I am; for I have passed the - whole of the three last nights by the bedside of my sick father, - without rest. I know he will have your prayers. At midnight, let - us pray for him, together. He has been suffering more than five - months. Adieu, dear Harriette." - -Lord Ponsonby's solitary rides with his dog, his paleness, and that -melancholy expression of countenance, which at once interested me so -deeply, were now accounted for. During three weeks more we corresponded -daily. His father continued to exist, and that was all. I learned from -his lordship's letters that, on the night we saw him for a few moments -at the opera, his father was pronounced out of danger, and country-air -was recommended to him, which, having produced no favourable change, -nothing now could save him. My happiness, while that correspondence -went on, was the purest, the most exalted, and the least allied to -sensuality, of any I ever experienced in my life. Ponsonby, I conceived, -was now mine, by right mine, by that firm courage which made me feel -ready to endure any imaginable evil for his sake. I was morally certain -that nothing in existence could love Lord Ponsonby, or could feel the -might and majesty of his peculiarly intellectual beauty as I did. - -"My beloved," so he wrote to me at last, "my spirits and health fail me; -they are worn out and exhausted, with this close confinement. My poor -father no longer suffers, or is scarcely sensible. My brother George -will take my place by his bedside. Let us meet this evening, and you -will console me. I shall go to you at nine." - -Lord Ponsonby was then coming to me at last! I began to fear the -expression of his eyes, so penetrating, so very bright. I began to think -myself under the influence of a dream, and that he was not coming; then -I feared sudden death would deprive me of him. I heard the knock, and -his footsteps on the stairs; and then that most godlike head uncovered, -that countenance, so pale, so still, and so expressive, the mouth of -such perfect loveliness; the fine clear, transparent, dark skin. I -looked earnestly in his face, I watched for that characteristic blush -which made me fancy his body thought, to be certain of my own happiness! -and then my overflowing heart was relieved by a flood of tears. - -"My dear, dear, little Harriette," said Ponsonby, drawing me towards -him, and passing his arm softly round my waist, "let us be happy now -we are met." My smile must have been expressive of the most heartfelt -felicity; yet our happiness was of that tranquil nature which is nearer -allied to melancholy than to mirth. We conversed together all night, -with my head resting on his shoulder. An age could not have made us -better acquainted! Ponsonby's health and spirits were evidently quite -exhausted by anxiety and want of rest. Neither of us desired anything, -while thus engaged in conversation. Yes, perhaps, I did, as my eyes were -fixed, for hours, on his beautiful and magnificent countenance, feel my -own lips almost tremble, as I thought they would be pressed to his, and -Ponsonby seemed to understand and feel my wishes, for he said, in answer -to nothing but the expression of my eyes-- - -"No, not to night! I could not bear your kiss to night. We will dream -about it till to-morrow." - -Ponsonby assured me, in the course of our _tete-a-tete_, that the first -time he had seen me, was one day when I lived at Somers-town two years -before. For three or four days after that, he could think of nothing -else. He met me with Argyle again, and wished to forget me; but, added -he, "I, being the shyest poor wretch in the world, have ever held -anything like notoriety in the greatest dread. I abhor it! therefore, -when you came out at the opera, and I heard all the fine young men -talking about you, it was not so difficult to forget you; and yet, -though you did not see me, I was always looking at you, and trying to -hear some one talk about you. When we met latterly in the Park, there -was something so natural and unaffected, and wild, about your manner, -that I began to forget your notoriety." - -Ponsonby then told me all about the poor old woman to whom I had given -half a crown in the Park; but what he said on that head was far too -flattering for me to repeat. It was past five in the morning when we -separated. - -"You are so ill and fatigued," said I, "dear Ponsonby, that I will not -let you come to me to-morrow night." - -"Oh, but I must!" answered Ponsonby. - -"Indeed you must rest." - -"Impossible!" he replied. - -We made no professions of love to each other--not one; for we were as -certain, as of our existence, that we were mutually adored; and yet we -passed the night together, and parted, without a kiss, to meet early the -following evening. - - - - -CHAPTER VI - - -At nine o'clock on the following evening, Ponsonby entered the room, -an altered man. He was one of the very few persons I have met with in -my life, who, from the natural extreme reserve and shyness of their -disposition, absolutely required to be a very little tipsy before they -can give their brilliant imaginations fair play. Ponsonby had slept, -drunk a little more claret, and, what lately had been unusual to him -owing to his father's lingering illness, had put on an evening dress. He -appeared now so much more beautiful than I had ever imagined any mortal -mixture of earth's clay, that I began to lose my confidence in myself -and tremble. There was too a look of success about him, for indeed the -humblest man on earth must have borrowed courage from the reflection -of Ponsonby's looking-glass on that evening: and there he sat for half -an hour, laughing and showing his brilliant teeth, while he related -to me many witty things which had been said by his uncle, whom he had -just left--the George Ponsonby, now no more, who spoke so well on the -Opposition side. - -"Can one endure this any longer," thought I. I was getting into a fever. -"Perhaps he does not love me!" - -"You are so proud of being dressed to-night!" I remarked with some -drollery, and I thought he never would have ceased laughing at me. - -It was very tiresome. - -"The fact is," said Ponsonby, in his sweet voice, the beauteous tones of -which nobody ever did or will dispute, "the fact is, I really am proud -of it; for I have not worn shoes before for these last three months; -but," added he, "do you know what I am most proud of in the world, and -which, poor as I am, upon my honour, I would not exchange, at this -moment, for a hundred thousand pounds?" - -"No!----" - -"I will tell you,--my place in your heart and your arms this evening." -He put his arms round my waist, and my lips were nearly touching his. -Ponsonby's cheek was now tinged with the glowing blush of passion; yet -he turned from my kiss like a spoiled child. - -"No!" said Ponsonby, shaking his head, "I have a thousand things to tell -you." - -"I cannot listen to one of them," said I, faintly, and our lips met in -one long, long delicious kiss! so sweet, so ardent! that it seemed to -draw the life's warm current from my youthful heart to reanimate his -with all its wildest passion. - -And then!--yes, and then, as Sterne, says,--and then we parted. - -The next day, at past three o'clock, Fanny found me in bed. - -"How abominably idle!" said Fanny. - -I answered that I was not well. - -"You do not look very bad," Fanny replied; "on the contrary, I have not -seen you look so well, nor your eyes so bright, for some time." - -"Well," said I, "if you really think me out of danger, I will get up." - -"Come!" answered Fanny, "shall I ring for your maid? I want you to take -me to Julia's." - -While I was dressing, Fanny informed me that she had given up her own -house to go and live with Julia. - -"I rather prefer living alone," she continued, "but Julia is so very -dull, and my paying half her rent will also be of service to her." - -"And some of your beaux may perhaps be brought to flirt with her, poor -thing!" added I, "for really their neglect is very hard upon her." - -Much more beauty, it should seem, is required to please without virtue -than with it, since, it is said, that Julia at her mamma's made -conquests every where and every hour. Even the Regent himself once said -he would travel a hundred miles to have the pleasure of seeing her dance. - -Her dancing, we both agreed, was perfection: speaking of what was most -truly graceful, effeminate and ladylike. - -"Brummell has been with her, making strong love lately," said Fanny. - -"Oh, the shocking deceiver! Tell Julia not to believe one word he says." - -I inquired how Amy and Sydenham went on. - -"Pretty well," answered Fanny. "Sydenham is not only a very -good-natured, but a remarkably clever, and well-bred man. Amy tries his -patience too, a little, with his passion for books; she is always taking -them out of his hand, and making him look at her attitudes before the -glass, or her attempts at the shawl-dance." - -"What does Sydenham do for the Marquis of Wellesley?" I asked. - -"Everything, I believe," Fanny replied. "He appears to write all his -letters and papers, in the shape of business; and so I believe he did in -India; but I know that Wellesley does nothing except by his advice." - -"Pray does Lord Wellesley make his love too, as well as his reputation, -by proxy?" - -"I do not know," answered Fanny, laughing, "although, I believe he -passed a good deal of his time formerly with the lady they call Mrs. -Moll Raffles," as Fanny designated her in her zeal to be civil. - -"I never saw anybody in such spirits as you to-day," Fanny remarked to -me, when we got into the carriage. "I am afraid there is some mischief -in the wind. What has become of Lord Ponsonby?" - -I was too happy to talk about it, so I contrived to change the subject. -"Where shall I take you to?" I inquired. - -"To Julia's, where I am now settled. I went there yesterday," was -Fanny's answer. - -"This world is really made to be laughed at," said Fanny, suddenly -leaning her head out of the carriage window. - -"What is the matter?" I asked. - -"That man," said Fanny, "with his grave face and his large board, -hoisted up, standing there, challenging the world, as if he were Don -Quixote come to life again." - -"What for?" said I. - -"Bayley's Blacking. Can one conceive anything so absurd?" - -I set her down as desired, and begged her to make my excuse to Julia, -who was at her window with Horace Beckford, the handsome nephew of Lord -Rivers. He appeared inclined to pay her attention, if one might judge -by the soft smile which was playing about his features: but then he was -eternally smiling. - -I found my very constant and steady admirer, Lord Frederick Bentinck, -waiting for me, prepared, as usual, to give me a world of advice. He -told me that I was going on in a very bad way, and asked me whither I -expected to go? - -"Where are you going to?" said I, as he walked into my dressing-room, -and seemed to admire himself in my large glass. - -"I am going to see the Duchess of York," said Fred Bentinck. - -"What of that!" I returned. "Where are your gloves?" - -"I never wear them, unless at court; but I have got on a new pair of -leather breeches to-day, and I want to see now they fit by your glass." - -Brummell at this moment was announced. - -"How very apropos you are arrived," I remarked. "Lord Frederick wants -your opinion on his new leather breeches." - -"Come here, Fred Bentinck!" said Brummell. "But there is only one man on -earth who can make leather breeches!" - -"Mine were made by a man in the Haymarket," Bentinck observed, looking -down at them with much pride; for he very seldom sported anything new. - -"My dear fellow, take them off directly!" said Brummell. - -"I beg I may hear of no such thing," said I, hastily--"else, where would -he go to, I wonder, without his small-clothes?" - -"You will drive me out of the house, Harriette," said Fred Bentinck; and -then put himself into attitudes, looking anxiously and very innocently, -from George Brummell to his leather breeches, and from his leather -breeches to the looking-glass. - -"They only came home this morning," proceeded Fred, "and I thought they -were rather neat." - -"Bad knees, my good fellow! bad knees!" said Brummell, shrugging up his -shoulders. - -"They will do very well," I remarked. "Fred Bentinck do start a new -subject, for first with my latter end and then with your own, this is -quite worn out." - -"I am sorry," said Fred Bentinck, "very sorry to say that I am afraid -you will turn out bad." - -"What do you call bad?" - -"Why profligate! and wicked." - -"Oh! you don't say so? what do you mean by wicked?" - -"Why--why, in short," continued Frederick--"in short, shall I drive you -down to Greenwich to dinner?" - -"And suppose I should grow wicked on the road?" said I. - -"Do you know what the Duke of York says of you Fred?" said Brummell. - -"The Duke of York talks in a very nasty way," said Fred Bentinck, -"I--I, for my part, hate all immodest conversation." - -"And that is the reason why I save up all the odd stories I can learn, -for you and for you only," I observed. "And yet you come here every day?" - -"As to you," said Fred, "you are a beautiful creature, and I come to try -to reform you, or else what will become of you when you grow old?" - -"Age cannot wither me, nor custom stale my infinite variety:" was my -reply. - -"You are mad!" said Fred Bentinck. - -"And you are monstrous top-heavy! and madness being often -light-headedness, I wish you would go mad too." - -"Apropos, Mr. Brummell," said I turning to him. "I have never yet had -time to acknowledge your effusion; and I have the less regret on that -score, because I learned from Fanny to-day that you are false-hearted." - -"Julia and I," said Brummell, "are very old friends, you know." - -"True," said I, "which, I suppose, accounts for her preference of Horace -Beckford." - -Brummell's pride appeared to take alarm as he inquired if Julia really -admired Horace. - -"I know nothing whatever about it," answered I, "except that I saw them -both at the window together to-day." - -Brummell seized his hat. - -"Take Fred Bentinck with you," said I. - -"Come Fred," said Brummell; "but you have not heard what the Duke of -York says of you." - -"I can guess," replied Fred, trying to make his goodnatured face severe -and cross. - -"Oh! he has accused you to your face, I see," reiterated Brummell. - -"So much the better," said Fred Bentinck, "a man cannot be too virtuous." - -"Talking of virtue," I remarked to Fred, "really that brother Charles of -yours made himself rather too ridiculous by writing those letters to -Lady Abdy about his intention to die, in case she continued cruel." - -"I have no more patience with Charles Bentinck than you have," said -Frederick, "particularly with his bringing Lady Abdy to my brother's -house. I told him he ought to be ashamed of himself." - -"I do not know anything about that, I only allude to the folly of a -strong young man like Charles Bentinck, sitting down to his muffins and -eggs in a state of perfect health, and, with his mouth crammed full of -both, calling for half a sheet of paper to write to Lady Abdy, that he -was, at that present writing, about to die! and therefore took up his -pen, to request her to be kind to his daughter Georgiana when he should -be no more!" - -"I do not set up for a remarkably clever fellow," Fred Bentinck -observed; "but if I had made such a fool of myself as Charles did in -that business, I would blow my brains out!" - -"You are helping him out of it nicely," Brummell observed to Fred -Bentinck. - -"I have no patience with people who expose themselves," continued Fred -Bentinck; "because it is in everybody's power to be silent: and, as to -love-letters, a man has no excuse for writing them." - -"There's no wisdom below the girdle, some philosopher said in old -times," I remarked. - -"I wish I could break you of that dreadful habit of making such indecent -allusions, Harriette!" said Fred Bentinck. - -"I never make them to any one but you." - -"I'll give you ten pounds if you will let me burn this book," said -Bentinck, taking up Fanblas. - -"In the meantime," I continued, "you seem to be glancing your eye over -it with something like satisfaction, for a man, such as the Duke of -York describes, of unblemished reputation for chastity! But, to revert -to your brother's dying, with the hot muffins in his mouth, for Lady -Abdy. Would not a man, who really and seriously had made up his mind to -die for love, have written a little note and, after sealing it with a -death's head or something of that kind, have hidden it somewhere, to be -delivered when he should be defunct--instead of talking of death, like -Shakespeare's - - '----certain Lord, neat and trimly dress'd, - Fresh as a bridegroom and his chin new reap'd.'" - -"Thank God," said Fred Bentinck, laughing, "I shall never be in love!" - -"Why you adore me, and have done so for the last twelvemonth," said I; -"but I want you to transfer your love to a friend of mine." - -"Do Fred," said Brummell, taking up his hat, "moderate your passion if -possible, and be sure to burn those leather breeches of yours." - -"I want you," continued I, after Brummell had left us, "I want you to -fall in love with Julia Johnstone." - -"She is a fine woman," answered Fred Bentinck; "only I am so afraid she -should love me in return; and if you, Julia, or any woman were to love -me, I should be sick directly." - -"How do you know?" I asked; "who on earth ever tried you that way?" - -"Why, there was a woman six years ago," said Frederick, "who certainly -did love me." - -"How very extraordinary!" I remarked. - -"At least," continued Bentinck, "she gave me such proofs as no man could -doubt, and I assure you I was never so sick, or so disgusted, in my -whole life; and so I am now whenever I happen to meet her." - -"_Fiez vous a moi, donc_," said I, "for here you shall ever find safety." - -"I know it," answered Bentinck, "and that is why I like you." - -He now recollected his intention of visiting the Duchess of York, and -took his leave. - -Lord Ponsonby and myself met every evening, for more than a week. We -were never tired of conversing with each other. His humour exactly -suited mine. In short, though I have been called agreeable all my life, -I am convinced that I was never half so pleasant or so witty as in -Ponsonby's society. We seldom contrived to separate before five or six -o'clock in the morning, and Ponsonby generally came to me as soon as -it was dark. Nor did we always wait for the evening to see each other, -though respect for Lady Ponsonby made us ever, by mutual consent, avoid -all risk of wounding her feelings; therefore, almost every day after -dinner we met in the park by appointment, not to speak but only to look -at each other. - -One morning, being greatly struck with the beauty of a young lady who -drove by me in a very elegant little carriage, while I was expecting to -see Lord Ponsonby, I inquired of the gentleman who was walking with me -if he knew who she was! It was the man well known in the fashionable -world by the appellation of Poodle Byng, the title of Poodle having been -bestowed on him owing to his very curly white locks, in defence of which -he always declared that his head was the original from which all the -young men and their barbers took base copies. - -"It is," answered Poodle, "that most lovely creature, Lady Fanny -Ponsonby, whom we are all sighing and dying for." - -She was indeed very lovely, and did not appear to be more than eighteen. -I considered her with respect and admiration, unmixed with jealousy. -This was not the rose; but she had dwelled with it. I thought that she -resembled Lord Ponsonby, and I felt that I could have loved her dearly. -"Thank heaven," thought I, "this beautiful girl appears quite calm and -happy; therefore I have done her no harm." - -In the evening I was eager to praise her to her husband. "She possesses -all the beauty of the Jerseys," said I to him; "and what a pretty -little foot!" This I had observed as she got out of her carriage in -Curzon-street. - -"How very odd!" Ponsonby remarked, - -"What is odd?" - -"Why, I do believe you like Fanny!" - -"Be sure of it then," I answered. "I like her as much as I should -dislike any woman who did not love you dearly. Listen to me, Ponsonby," -I continued, taking his hand, and speaking with steady firmness. "All -my religion is from my heart, and not from books. If ever our intimacy -is discovered so as to disturb her peace of mind, on that day we must -separate for ever. I can but die, and God, I hope, will have mercy -on me, very soon after our separation, if ever it should be found -necessary; but we are not monsters! therefore we will never indulge in -selfish enjoyment at the expense of misery to any one of our fellow -creatures, much less one who depends on you for all her happiness." - -"And she is very happy, thank God," said Ponsonby, "and I would rather -forfeit my life than destroy her peace." - -"Be firm in that I entreat you," I replied, "for there can be no rest -here nor hereafter without the acquittal of our hearts. Mine was devoted -to you with that sincere ardour and deep character of feeling which is -so natural to me, before I knew that you were married. I know it now, -too late to endure life when you shall have left me; but I can die when -her happiness shall require it." Alas! I knew not half the anguish and -suffering the human frame can endure, and yet survive! - -One night, about a week from the day Ponsonby first visited me, when I -did not expect him till midnight, I retired to bed and fell fast asleep, -which said long nap neither Ponsonby nor any one else had disturbed. -When I awoke, the sun was shining through my curtains. My first thoughts -were always on Ponsonby, and I recollected, with a deep feeling of -disappointment, that he had promised the night before to come to me -by midnight, and I had desired my maid to send him up into my room as -soon as he arrived. I felt for his little watch, which I always -placed under my pillow; judge my astonishment to find, attached to it, -a magnificent gold chain of exquisite workmanship. I began to think -myself in the land of fairies! and still more so, when I observed a very -beautiful pearl ring on one of my fingers. I rubbed my eyes and opened -them wide, to ascertain beyond a doubt that I was broad awake. A very -small strip of writing paper, which I had drawn from under my pillow -with my watch, now caught my attention and I read, written with a pencil -in Ponsonby's small beautiful character: "_Dors, cher enfant, je t'aime -trop tendrement, pour t'eveiller._" - -[Illustration: BYNG-CO] - -It was very sentimental and affectionate; for Ponsonby knew how much -I required rest. I was very grateful, and yet I thought it altogether -exceedingly provoking! How could I be so stupid as not to awake, even -when he had his hand under my pillow, in search of my watch! I rang my -bell, and inquired of my maid how long she thought Lord Ponsonby had -stayed with me the night before. - -"More than an hour," was the reply. - -"Dear Ponsonby," said I, as soon as she had quitted the room, while I -bestowed a thousand kisses on the beautiful watch and chain, "you are -the first man on earth who ever sacrificed his own pleasure and passions -to secure my repose!" - -Lord Ponsonby's father still continued another fortnight in the same -hopeless state. His favourite son deeply lamented his illness, and had -been indefatigable in his attentions; refusing to visit me or anybody -as long as there was hope, or while his father could derive comfort -from his son's affections; but, when nothing more could be done, he had -sought comfort in the society of the person who loved him best. I should -do Lord Ponsonby great injustice were I to say that he ever forgot or -neglected his father. - -I asked a friend of Lord Ponsonby one day why he did not adore his -beautiful wife? He had no idea that I was acquainted with his lordship. - -"Lord Ponsonby is always very kind and affectionate to her," was the -reply. - -"True," I continued; "but I have heard that he does not fly to her for -consolation when he is melancholy, nor consult her, nor make a friend of -her." - -"Lady Fanny is a sweet-tempered child," said he; "but not at all clever: -and then, poor thing! she is very deaf, which affliction came on after a -violent attack of scarlet fever." - -"What a beautiful, sweet and calm expression of countenance she -possesses," I remarked, "so pale, that her features at first sight -appear only pretty; but on examination they are found perfect; and her -dark, clear, brown eyes----" - -"So like your own," said the gentleman, interrupting me. - -"I have heard that remark made before," I replied, blushing deeply; "but -I am not vain enough to credit it." - -"With all their beauty," remarked Ponsonby's friend, "men soon grow -tired of those Jerseys, with the exception only of Lady ----, with whom -the wicked world say the Duke of Argyle has been in love more than -twenty years." - -"Is not the boy they call Frank supposed to be a son of the duke?" I -asked. - -"I have heard so; but let us hope it is all vile scandal." - -"With all my heart; but how does Lady Fanny Ponsonby pass her time?" - -"She draws prettily," he observed: "and she has now got a little -companion she is very fond of." - -"Who is that?" said I. - -"A mouse, which, having one night showed its little face to her ladyship -in her drawing-room, she so coaxed him with her dainties for three weeks -together, that she contrived to tame him: and now he will eat them out -of her lovely hands." - -"But then after the mouse is gone to bed," said I, "how does her -ladyship amuse herself?" - -"With her younger sister, or in writing or drawing. Lady Fanny does not -much care for society." - -"She is not a flirt, I believe?" - -"What man can she think it worth while to flirt with," answered he, -"being married to such a one as Ponsonby." - -I was charmed to hear my own sentiments from the lips of another, and -one of his own sex too. - -"You admire Lord Ponsonby then?" said I. - -"Admire! depend upon it there is nothing like him in all Europe. I speak -of him altogether, as to his beauty, his manners, and his talents; but -Lord Ponsonby," he continued, "owing to his extreme reserve and his -excessive shyness is very little known. He never desires to be known or -appreciated but by his own particular friends: yet I know few so capable -of distinguishing themselves anywhere, particularly in the senate, as -his lordship: his remarkably fine voice, and his language, always so -persuasive and eloquent, besides he is such an excellent politician. He -will now, shortly, by the expected death of his father," continued the -gentleman, whose name if I recollect well, was Matthew Lee, "become one -of the peers of the United Kingdom. I was telling him, the other day, -how much we should be disappointed if he did not take a very active part -in the debates. 'God forbid!' said Ponsonby. 'It is all I can do to find -nerve for yes or no, when there is a question in the House, and that in -a whisper.'" - -"How came he to be so shy?" I asked. - -"And how came it to become him so well?" returned his friend, "for it -would make any other man awkward, and Ponsonby is most graceful when -he is most embarrassed. I have known him from a boy. We were at school -together. The ladies were all running mad for him before he was fifteen, -and I really believe, that at eighteen Ponsonby, with the true genuine -Irish character and warmest passions, had not looked any woman full -in the face; and to this day his friends are obliged to make him half -tipsy in order to enjoy his society. Yet, with all this timidity," he -went on, observing that I was never tired of the subject, and could pay -attention to no other, "Ponsonby has a remarkably fine high spirit. One -night, very late, near Dublin, he met two of his brothers just as they -had got into a violent row with three raw-boned, half naked Irish pats. -Seeing that his brothers were drunk, Ponsonby began to remonstrate with -them, and strove to persuade them to come home quietly, when one of -those ruffians struck his youngest brother a very unfair blow with a -stick. - -"'Now, d--n your hearts and bl--ds!' said Lord Ponsonby, stripping and -setting to with the strength and spirit of a prize-fighter. - -"His own mother at this moment could not have known her son: the -metamorphosis was nearly as laughable as it was astonishing." - -I asked how long he had been married? - -"Not five years." - -"And Lady Fanny's age?" - -"Twenty." - -I then asked if he married her for love or money? - -"Money!" said Lee, indignantly. "It is now clear to me that you do -not know Lord Ponsonby. I was just beginning to suspect from the -multiplicity of your questions that you did." - -"He was very much in love with her then?" I inquired, without attending -to this observation. - -"She was not fourteen," answered Lee, "when Ponsonby first met her at -her mother's, Lady Jersey's. He was of course, like everybody else, -speedily struck with her beauty. She was not deaf then, but shortly -afterwards she had a violent attack of scarlet fever, during which her -life was despaired of for several weeks: indeed, there was scarcely a -hope of her recovery. I remember Ponsonby said to me one night, as we -passed by Lady Jersey's house together--'The loveliest young creature -I have ever beheld on earth lies in that room dying.' The first time -Lady Fanny appeared in her mother's drawing-room she resembled a spirit -so fair, so calm, so transparent. All her magnificent hair, which had -before reached and now again descends much below her waist, had been -shorn from her beautiful little head. She often took her lace cap off -and exhibited herself thus to anybody, to raise a laugh; or perhaps she -knew that she was, even without hair, as lovely as ever. - -"Lord Ponsonby, as he has told me since, was present when her ladyship -first left her room, and soon discovered that she was now afflicted -with deafness. He felt the deepest interest, admiration and pity for -her. He considered with horror the bare possibility of this sweet, -fragile little being, becoming the wife of some man, who might hereafter -treat her harshly. Added to this, I fancy," continued Lee, "Ponsonby -had discovered that he was not indifferent to her little ladyship; so, -to secure her from any of these evils, he resolved to propose for her -himself. I need not add that he was joyfully accepted by both mother and -daughter. He might have done better," added Lee, "and I fancy Ponsonby -sometimes wishes that his wife could be his friend and companion: but -that is quite out of the question. Her ladyship is good and will do as -she is bid; but, besides her deafness, her understanding is neither -bright nor lively. Lord Ponsonby shows her the sort of indulgence and -tenderness which a child requires; but he must seek for a companion -elsewhere." - -Mr. Lee then took leave of me: and a very few days after this -conversation had taken place, Lord Ponsonby's father breathed his last -in the arms of his son, who immediately left town without seeing me; but -he wrote to me most affectionately. - - - - -CHAPTER VII - - -A few days after his departure I was surprised by a visit from Sir -William Abdy, with whom I was but very slightly acquainted. I thought -it strange his paying any visits so immediately after the elopement -of his wife, who was a natural daughter of the Marquis Wellesley by a -Frenchwoman, who, as I am told, once used to walk in the Palais Royal at -Paris, but afterwards became Marchioness of Wellesley. - -"I have called upon you, Miss Harriette," said Sir William, almost -in tears, "in the first place, because you are considered exactly -like my wife,"--my likeness to Lady Abdy had often been thought very -striking--"and, in the second, because I know you are a woman of -feeling!" - -I opened my eyes in astonishment. - -"Women," he continued, "have feeling, and that's more than men have." - -I could not conceive what he would be at. - -"You know, Miss Harriette, all about what has happened, and my crim. -con. business, don't you, miss?" - -"Yes." - -"Could you have thought it?" - -"Oh yes!" - -"And yet, I am sure, Charles Bentinck is worse than I am." - -"In what way, pray?" - -"Why, a worse head," said Sir William, touching his forehead, "and I -don't pretend to be clever myself." - -"Is that all? But I would not be so very demonstrative as to touch my -forehead, if I were you." - -"That Charles Bentinck," said he, half angry, "is the greatest fool in -the world; and in Paris we always used to laugh at him." - -"But," said I, "why did you suffer his lordship to be eternally at your -house?" - -"Why, dear me!" answered Abdy, peevishly, "I told him in a letter I did -not like it and I thought it wrong, and he told me it was no such thing." - -"And therefore," I remarked, "you suffered him to continue his visits as -usual?" - -"Why, good gracious, what could I do! Charles Bentinck told me, upon his -honour, he meant nothing wrong." - -"This man is really too good!" thought I, and then I affected the -deepest commiseration of his mishap. - -"Why did she run away from you?" said I. "Why not, at least, have -carried on the thing quietly?" - -"That's what I say," said Abdy. - -"Because," I continued, "had she remained with you sir, you would have -always looked forward with hope to that period when age and ugliness -should destroy all her power of making conquests." - -"Oh," said Abdy, clasping his hands, "if any real friend like you had -heartened me up in this way at the time, I could have induced her to -have returned to me! But then, Miss Wilson, they all said I should be -laughed at and frightened me to death. It was very silly to be sure of -me to mind them; for it is much better to be laughed at, than to be so -dull and miserable as I am now." - -"Shall I make you a cup of tea, Sir William?" - -"Oh! Miss, you are so good! tea is very refreshing when one is in -trouble." - -I hastened to my bell, to conceal the strong inclination I felt to laugh -in his face, and ordered tea. - -"Green tea is the best, is it not, Miss?" said Sir William. - -"Oh, yes," answered I, "as green as a willow leaf: and in extreme cases -like yours I am apt to recommend a little gunpowder." - -"Just as you please, Miss." - -I asked him, after he had swallowed three cups of tea, whether he did -not feel himself a little revived. - -"Yes, Miss, I should soon get better here; but you know my house is such -a very dull house and in such a very dull street too! Hill-street is, I -think, the dullest street in all London, do you know, Miss Wilson." - -"True, Sir William! would not you like to go to Margate?" - -"Why I was thinking of travelling, for you know in Hill Street, there is -her sofa just as she left." - -"Very nervous indeed," said I, interrupting him. "I would burn the sofa -at all events." - -"And then there is her pianoforte." - -"Lady Abdy was musical then?" - -"Oh, very. She was always at it! I used to be tired to death of her -music and often wished she would leave off: but now she is gone Miss -Wilson, I would give the world to hear her play Foote's minuet!" - -"Or, 'Off she goes,'" added I. - -"What is that, pray, Miss?" - -"A very lively dance," I answered. - -"True, Miss, I recollect my wife used to play it." - -"Dear me, Sir William, how could she be so foolish as to run away? I -dare say you never interfered with her, or entered her room without -knocking." - -"Never, upon my honour." - -"Well, I always heard you were a very kind, obliging, good-natured -husband." - -"Yes, and sometimes, when I used to knock latterly, Lady Abdy would not -open the door!" - -"That was wrong," said I, shaking my head, "very wrong." - -"And how could that nasty, stupid fellow seduce her I cannot think!" - -"There was good blood in her veins, you know, by the mother's side. -Besides, to tell you the truth, I don't think Charles Bentinck did -seduce Lady Abdy from you." - -"Oh! dear, Miss Wilson, what do you mean?" - -"Shall I speak frankly?" - -"Oh, Lord a mercy! pray do! I am quite in a fright!" - -"I think Fred Lamb was one of her seducers; but how many more may have -had a finger in the pie, I really cannot take upon myself to say." - -"Oh, Lord! oh, Lord! Miss Wilson!" said Sir William, grasping my arm -with both his hands, "you do not say so? What makes you think so?" - -"I have seen Fred Lamb daily and constantly riding past her door. I know -him to be a young man of strong passions, much fonder of enjoyment than -pursuit; and further, my sister Fanny, one of the most charitable of all -human beings, told me she had seen Fred Lamb in a private box at Drury -Lane with your wife, and her hand was clasped in his, which he held on -his knee!" - -"Oh, la, Miss!" - -"Come, do not take on so," said I, in imitation of Brummell's nonsense, -and striving to conceal a laugh, "leave your dull house in Hill Street, -and set off to-morrow morning, on some pleasant excursion. Be assured -that you will find fifty pretty girls, who will be so delighted with you -as soon to make you forget Lady Abdy." - -"But then," said Sir William, "I cannot think how she came to be in the -family-way: for I am sure, Miss Wilson, that during all the years we -have lived together, I always----" - -"Never mind," interrupted I, "go home now, and prepare for your journey, -and be sure to write to me, and tell me if your mind is easier." - -"Thank you, Miss Wilson! you are all goodness. I'll be sure to write, -and I mean to set off to-morrow morning, and I'll never come back to -that nasty, dull, large house of mine again." - -"Get the sofa removed," said I, "at all events." - -"Yes, Miss, I will, thank you; and the pianoforte. So good-bye, Miss;" -and then returning, quite in a whisper, "perhaps, Miss Wilson, when you -and I become better acquainted, you'll give me a kiss!" - -I only laughed, and bade him take care of himself, and so we parted. - -All this nonsense was however very poor amusement to me, now that I had -lost Lord Ponsonby. I considered that, although I was by my hard fate -denied the pleasure of consoling his affliction, I might yet go into -the country and lead the same retired sort of life which he did; and -there endeavour by study to make myself rather more worthy of him. "I am -a very ignorant little fool," thought I, "but it does not, therefore, -follow, that I should remain a fool all my life, like Sir William Abdy." -My plan was settled and arranged in less than an hour, and my small -trunk packed, my carriage filled with books, and I and my _femme de -chambre_ on our road to Salt Hill. - -I told the landlady of the Castle Inn, that I was come to take up my -residence with her for a fortnight, and that I should require a quiet -comfortable room to study in. The word study sounded very well, I -thought, as I pronounced it, and, after arranging my books in due order, -in the pretty rural room allotted to me by my civil landlady, I sat down -to consider which of them I should begin with, in order to become clever -and learned at the shortest notice, as that good lady provided people -with hot dinners. - -"Ponsonby, being forty already," thought I, "will be downright out, -while I continue to bloom: therefore, when this idea makes him more -timid and humble, I should like to improve my powers of consoling him -and charming away all his cares. Let me see! What knowledge will be -likely to make me most agreeable to him? Oh! politics. What a pity that -he does not like something less dry and more lively! But, no matter!" -and I turned over the leaves of my History of England, for George -the Second and George the Third, and I began reading the Debates in -Parliament. "Let me consider!" continued I, pausing. "I am determined -to stick firm to the Opposition side, all my life; because Ponsonby -must know best: and yet it goes against the grain of all my late -aristocratical prejudices, which, by-the-bye, only furnish a proof how -wrong-headed young girls often are." - -I began to read a long speech of Lord Ponsonby's late intimate friend, -Charles James Fox. "This man," thought I, when I had finished his -speech, "appears to have much reason on his side; but then all great -orators seem right, till they are contradicted by better reasoners; so, -if I read Pitt's answer to this speech, I shall become as aristocratical -as ever. I must begin with Pitt, and finish with Fox's answer and -objections to Pitt's plan." I tried this method of making a little Whig -of myself, _pour les beaux yeux de milord_ Ponsonby. "After all," said -I, pausing, "it will be no use, and very mean of me, to think one way -and profess to think another; and it still strikes me the better reason -and the sounder judgment is with Pitt, who seems to go further and -embrace a vaster and more solid plan than Fox. The latter finding all -that wit and brilliant exercise of humour necessary, makes his appear -to me the worse course; then there is too much method in these Whigs, -and their abuse of administration becomes pointless; because it seems as -though perpetually ready cut and dried; and so vulgar! and opposition is -such a losing game! and then I have a sneaking kindness for my king." - -"_Quelle dommage!_ I cannot be a Whig, for the life of me!" said I, -throwing away the book, and quietly reclined my head on my hand, in deep -thought as to what next I should study, having determined at once, out -of respect to Lord Ponsonby to stand neuter in regard to politics, since -I could not make a Whig of myself. - -My landlady came in to know what I would have for dinner. - -"Oh, ma'am," I exclaimed, pushing aside my book, and walking towards -the window, "it is impossible for persons to study if they are to be -interrupted by such absurd questions." - -The woman begged my pardon. - -"Listen to me, madam," said I, with the utmost concentration of dignity; -"I have come into this retirement for the purpose of hard reading; -therefore, instead of asking me what I want for dinner every day, or -disturbing my books or papers, I shall thank you to bring up a tray with -a fowl, or anything you like, exactly at five, and, placing it upon that -little table, you must, if you please, go out of the room again without -saying a single word, and when I am hungry I will eat." - -Mine hostess looked at me as if she would have laughed if she had dared, -and I felt somewhat of a sort of inclination to join her; however, I -contrived to preserve my consequence, and asked, while attempting to -assume a severe frown, how old she would guess me to be. - -"About sixteen or seventeen, Miss." - -"I am almost nineteen, madam," said I, elevating my head, with much -pride. "You must not laugh!" I added, seeing that her risible muscles -again exhibited symptoms of incipient activity, and well they might; -for I was the most tom-boy, childish-looking creature who ever sat -down by herself in a large room to study the merits of Pitt and Fox; -and, what was worse, one of the most perfectly uneducated young women -of my age that ever went to school; but then my school was only a -French convent, where there really was nothing which excited in me the -slightest curiosity after knowledge, and I never learned a single lesson -by heart in my life, nor I believe ever could. The abbess was in despair -about me. The confessor said, with Fred Bentinck, that I should come to -no good; and I played the old nuns so many tricks that they were all -frightened to death of me. - -Being once more left to myself, I snatched up a volume of Shakespeare, -_pour me desennuyer un moment_, and opened it at this passage, in the -tragedy of _Antony and Cleopatra:_ - - The barge she sat in, like a burnish'd throne, - Burn'd on the water: the poop was beaten gold; - Purple the sails, and so perfumed that - The winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver; - Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made - The water which they beat to follow faster, - As amorous of their strokes. For her own person, - It beggar'd all description: she did lie - In her pavilion (cloth of gold of tissue), - O'erpicturing that Venus where we see - The fancy outwork nature: on each side her - Stood pretty dimpled boys, like smiling Cupids, - With divers-colour'd fans, whose wind did seem - To glow the delicate cheeks which they did cool, - And what they undid, did. - -"How beautiful!" said I, throwing down the book, "Can anything -be imagined more glowing or more animated than this description! -However I came here to study--and Shakespeare is too amusing to be -considered study. True I have heard people remark that many passages -of Shakespeare's writings are obscure; yet it seems to me that all the -beauties are clear and plain, and the little obscurities not worth -puzzling about:--therefore I'll study history; one must know something -of that. I'll begin with ancient Greece, never mind English history, we -can all get credit for that." - -The Greeks employed me for two whole days, and the Romans six more: I -took down notes of what I thought most striking. I then read _Charles -the Twelfth_, by Voltaire, and liked it less than most people do; -and then Rousseau's _Confessions_; then Racine's _Tragedies_, and -afterwards, Boswell's _Life of Johnson_. I allowed myself only ten -minutes for my dinner. In short, what might I not have read, had not I -been barbarously interrupted by the whole family of the Pitchers, who, -having once taken a fancy to my society, I had no chance but returning -to town as fast as possible after a three weeks' residence at Salt Hill, -during which time I had constantly heard from Lord Ponsonby, who was in -Ireland; but hoped shortly to join me in town. - -I was soon visited by my dear mother. She wished to consult me about -what was best to be done to put my young sister out of the way of -that most profligate nobleman, Lord Deerhurst, who was, she said, -continually watching her in the Park and streets whenever she went -out. I could hardly believe that anything wrong could be meant towards -a child scarcely thirteen years of age; but my mother assured me that -he had been clandestinely writing to her and sending her little paltry -presents of gilt chains, such as are sold by Jews in the streets; these -said trumpery articles being presented to my sister Sophia, in old -jewel-boxes of Love and Wirgman, in order to make it appear to the poor -child that they were valuable. - -"I see no remedy," said my dear mother, "but sending Sophia to some -school at a distance; and I hope to obtain her father's consent for that -purpose as soon as possible. No time is to be lost, Sophia being so sly -about receiving these things that I only found it out by the greatest -accident. The last were delivered to her by a young friend of hers, -quite a child, to whom Lord Deerhurst addressed himself, not having been -able to meet with Sophia lately." - -I was very much disgusted with this account, and quite agreed with my -mother that it would be the safest plan to send the child away. - -Before she took her leave, she assured me that, if possible, Sophia -should depart immediately. - -The next day I went to visit Fanny. Colonel Armstrong was with her. I -allude to the Duke of York's aide-de-camp. The Earl of Bective was also -there. - -I inquired how Amy went on. - -Sydenham was beginning to consider her evening parties rather a bore. -Julia, they said, was growing more gracious towards George Brummell than -Colonel Cotton liked. - -Armstrong happening to be disengaged, which was seldom the case, -proposed our taking Amy, who was a great favourite of his, by surprise, -in the absence of Sydenham, who was at Brighton assisting Lord Wellesley -to take care of Moll Raffles. - -"Do you propose dining with her?" said I. - -"Why not?" inquired Colonel Armstrong. - -"I hope she will treat you better than she does her own sisters when we -try her pot-luck." - -"I am not at all particular," said Armstrong. - -"I never saw but one man," retorted I, "among all Amy's train of -admirers, whom she did not contrive to cure of their temerity in -intruding themselves to dinner. The Baron Tuille's ardent love was, for -six months, proof against Amy's bill of fare. Amy used to sit and sit -till hunger would not permit her to fast any longer, and at last she -would say, 'Baron! I am going down to dinner: but I have nothing to -offer you but a black pudding!' 'Note!' the Dutchman always answered, -'Note! noting I like so vel!'" - -"What," said Armstrong, "does she never have anything but black pudding?" - -"Oh! yes," I replied, "sometimes toad-in-a-hole, or hard dumplings; but -black pudding takes the lead." - -Fanny, with all her good nature, began to laugh as she related the -following little anecdote, which had occurred while I was at Salt -Hill, apropos to Amy's penchant for a black pudding. My little sister -Sophia had been permitted to go and dine with Amy one day, having been -particularly invited a week before. Nevertheless, when she arrived -Amy appeared to start as though surprised and said, "Oh! by-the-bye, -I forgot to order my dinner, and my maid and man are both out, with -letters and cards of invitations. However I can soon manage to get a -black pudding broiled. You will not mind running to South Audley-street -for a pound of black pudding? Shall you, my dear?" - -"Oh, no!" replied Sophia, reddening up to the eyes at the vile proposal, -having lately become a coquette, from being told that she was an angel, -and being really a very ladylike girl at all times; and just now she -wore her smartest dress. However, she always said yes to whatever people -asked her, wanting courage or character to beg leave to differ from -anybody's opinion. - -The said black pudding, then, was put into her hand by the vulgar, -unfeeling pork-butcher, enveloped only by a small bit of the dirty -_Times_ newspaper, just sufficiently large for her to take hold of it by -in the middle. - -Sophia, being a remarkably shy, proud girl, felt herself ready to sink, -as she walked down South Audley-street at that very fashionable hour of -the day, with such a substitute for a reticule flourishing quite bare -in her hand, as a greasy black pudding! She tried hanging down her arm: -but rose it again in alarm, lest she should spoil her gay new frock. -Then a ray of good sense, which shot across her brain, her head I mean, -induced her with an effort of desperation to hold the thing naturally, -without attempting to conceal it; but, Oh, luckless fate! at the very -moment poor Sophia had obtained this victory over her feelings, whom -should she bolt against, all on a sudden in turning down South-street, -but the first flatterer and ardent admirer of her young graces, Viscount -Deerhurst! - -The black pudding was now huddled up into the folds of her new frock: -then she rued the day when pocket-holes went out of fashion. Deerhurst -now, holding out his hand to her, her last desperate resource was to -throw down the vile black pudding as softly as possible behind her, and -she then shook hands with his lordship. - -"Miss! Miss!" bawled out, at this instant, a comical-looking, -middle-aged Irish labourer, who happened to be close behind her, and had -picked up the delicate morsel, at the instant of its fall. - -Thrusting forward the spectral lump, "Miss! Miss! how comed you then -dear, to let go o' this and never miss it? Be to laying hold of it at -this end, honey! It's quite clean, dear, and sure and you need not be -afear'd to handle it at that same end," added Pat, giving it a wipe, -with the sleeve of his dirty ragged jacket. - -Deerhurst, who it must be allowed possesses a great deal of natural -humour, could stand this scene between Pat and Sophia no longer, and -burst into an immoderate fit of laughter, while poor Sophia, almost -black in the face with shame and rage, assured the man she had dropped -nothing of the sort, and did not know what he meant--and then she ran -away so fast that Deerhurst could not overtake her, and she got safe -home to her mother's, leaving Amy to watch at her window the arrival of -her favourite black pudding. - -Colonel Armstrong was absolutely delighted with this account; but -said he should decline her pot-luck, as it is vulgarly called. He -nevertheless wished us, of all things, to accompany him to her house, -and which we agreed to. - -We found Amy in the act of turning over the leaves of Mr. Nugent's music -book, and Mr. Nugent singing an Italian air to his own accompaniment, -ogling Amy to triple time. - -The man commonly called King Allen, now Lord Allen, appeared to be only -waiting for a pause of harmony in order to take his leave. - -"Ha! How do you do?" said Amy, and Nugent arose to welcome us with his -everlasting laugh. - -"Well, Harriette," said Amy, "you are come back, are you! I have heard -that you went into the country with your whole library in your carriage, -like Dominie Sampson; and, let me see, who was it told me you were gone -mad?" - -"Your new and interesting admirer, his Grace of Grafton, perhaps; for I -have heard that he is matter-of-fact enough for anything." - -"It is a pity, my dear Harriette, that you continue to have such coarse -ideas!" retorted Amy, _en faisant la petite bouche_, with her usual look -of purity, just as if she had not been lately receiving the sly hackney -coach visits of the old beau. - -Armstrong changed the conversation by telling Amy that he had some idea -of intruding upon her to dinner the next day. - -"Oh, I really shall give you a very bad dinner, I am afraid," said Amy, -having recovered from her growing anger towards me, in real alarm. - -"My dear Mrs. Sydenham," replied Colonel Armstrong, earnestly, "I -hate apologies, and indeed, am a little surprised that you should pay -yourself so poor a compliment as to imagine for a moment any man cared -for dinner; for vile, odious, vulgar dinner in your society. Now for my -part, I request that I may find nothing on your table to-morrow, but -fish, flesh, fowl, vegetables, pastry, fruit and good wine. If you get -anything more, I will never forgive you." - -Amy's large, round eyes opened wider and wider, and so did her mouth, -as Armstrong proceeded; and, before he had got to the wine, she became -absolutely speechless with dismay. Armstrong, however, appeared quite -satisfied, remarking carelessly that he knew her hour and would not keep -her waiting. - -"Is anybody here who can lend me two shillings to pay my hackney-coach?" -said Allen. - -"No change," was the general answer; for everybody knew King Allen! - -The beaux having left us, Amy opened her heart, and said we might -partake of her toad-in-a-hole, if we liked; but that she must leave us -the instant after dinner. - -"What for?" Fanny inquired. - -"Nothing wrong," answered Amy, of course. - -"Very little good, I presume," said I, "if we may judge from his -appearance; however," taking up my bonnet, "I do not want to run foul of -the Duke of Grafton, since he votes me mad:" and I took my leave. - -The next morning I received a letter from Lord Ponsonby to acquaint -me that I might expect him in town by eight o'clock on the following -evening. It is not, however, my intention to enter into many more minute -details relative to my former unfortunate passion for Lord Ponsonby. -This is not a complete confession, like Jean Jacques Rousseau's, but -merely a few anecdotes of my life, and some light sketches of the -characters of others, with little regard to dates or regularity, written -at odd times, in very ill health. The only thing I have particularly -attended to in this little work has been, not to put down one single -line at all calculated to prejudice any individual, in the opinion of -the world, which is not strictly correct; and though I have, in writing -of people as I have found them, only done as I would be done by, and as -I request my friends will do by me, who never wished yet to pass for -better than what I really am: yet my gratitude has not permitted me to -publish even the most trifling faults of the few who have acted kindly -towards me. - -With regard to my sisters, I never had but one, and she has ceased to -exist, who evinced the least regard for me. I am naturally affectionate, -and my heart was disposed to love them all, till years of total neglect -have at last compelled me to consider them as strangers. Some of them -are my enemies. My sister Amy ever made it her particular study to wound -my feelings, and do me all the injury in her power; and having occasion, -in a moment of the deepest distress, to apply to Lady Berwick for a -little assistance, she refused me a single guinea, notwithstanding, -in promoting her marriage with Lord Berwick, and on various other -occasions, I certainly did my best, and had done many acts of friendship -towards her previous to that period. Neither does this want of feeling -for me proceed from any ill opinion they have formed of my heart or -character: for, during our dear mother's last illness, Lady Berwick -remained at her country house, in spite of all I could say to her in my -daily communications, as to the immediate danger of that dear parent, -and her excuse, which she has often expressed, for this heartless -conduct was that, since Harriette remained with her mother, she felt -sure that no care or attention would be wanting, that anybody could -afford her. However, it is necessary for the sake of justice to relate -the good with the bad: thus then, be it known, that if Lady Berwick -would not come up to town to attend the dreary couch of a most tender -parent; she wrote to me every day notes of inquiry, nay more, she sent -fine apples and baskets of grapes from her garden up to the hour of my -lamented mother's death. - -These sketches, or memoirs, or whatever my publisher and editor may -think proper to designate them,--for my own part I think it quite -tiresome enough to write a book as fast as I can scribble it, without -composing either a preface or a name for it--were begun several years -ago, merely to amuse myself. I am now only alluding to a few pages of -it, for I soon grew tired of my occupation. However, the little I had -done pleased my own acquaintances so much that they all advised me to -continue. - -The Hon. George Lamb, having been good enough to read a comedy which I -attempted, was so polite as to say, and I have his letter now before -me, that although it was too long, and deficient in stage-tact, there -was no lack of wit and native humour about it, and further, he thought -my talents well calculated for writing a light work in the form of -either novel or sketch-book. He also advised me to put my former name -of Harriette Wilson to the work, which he doubted not would the better -ensure its sale. - -Thus, being almost flattered into something like a good opinion of -myself, I ventured one morning to wrap myself up in my large cloak, and -put my little unfinished manuscript into my reticule, for I determined -not to write another page till I had ascertained whether it was worth -publishing. Thus equipped, I ventured in much fear and trembling to -wait upon the great Mr. Murray, as Lord Byron always satirically called -him. "He," thought I, "being the friend and publisher of Lord Byron (as -Dr. Johnson has it, who slays fat oxen, must himself be fat), should -be wiser than George Lamb or anybody else, except Lord Byron alone: -therefore I will stand by his decree." - -I told Murray that I had so little confidence in myself, that I really -could not be induced to go on with my work till I had obtained his -verdict on the few pages I ventured to offer for his inspection. - -Murray looked on me with as much contempt as though Ass had been written -in my countenance. Now I know this is not the case. He said, with much -rudeness, that I might put the manuscript on his table and he would look -at it, certainly, if I desired it. - -I asked when I should send for it. - -"Whenever you please," was his answer; as though he had already recorded -his decision against me and made his mind up not to look at it. - -I promised to send for it the next evening. I did so, and the manuscript -was returned without an observation. "No doubt," thought I, "it is all -nonsense. I only wish I was quite sure that he had read it! because -else it were really cruel thus to damp a beginner who might have done -something perhaps, with due encouragement. I am almost certain that it -is trash; but I will be still more assured, lest the mania of scribbling -should in some moment of poverty attack me again." However, beginning -now to feel as much contempt for my manuscript as the Vicar of Wakefield -did for his horse, or as I have since felt for the famed Bibliopolist of -Albemarle Street, notwithstanding his carriage was numbered with those -which followed in the funeral procession of the lamented Byron, I could -not present my lucubrations to another publisher as my own: my nerves -would not permit it, and I therefore offered it to Messrs. Allman, of -Princes Street, Hanover Square, as the first attempt of a young friend -of mine. I was received by one of those gentlemen with much politeness, -and was requested to allow them four days to send their answer. They -fixed their time, and I promised to send for my little manuscript on the -day they appointed. It was sealed up, and directed ready for my servant -when he called for it. The envelope enclosed a few lines from Messrs. -Allman, stating their readiness to publish the work, which they did not -consider libellous--sharing the expenses and the profits with me. - -On the receipt of this note, which I have now in my possession, I got -into a rage with old purblind Murray. "I wish," thought I, "I wish I -could make rhymes! I would send him a copy of verses to thank him." The -worst of it was I had never made a single rhyme in my life, and, when -I had tried to make two lines jingle together, everybody said they had -the merit of being infinitely below par; but even that I considered very -much better than vile mediocrity in poetry. In short there was no rhyme -about them and very little reason. However, I thought that anything -would do for Murray, who had been so rude to me; therefore, in a few -minutes, I managed to compose and seal up the following state of the -case,--which said composition my reader cannot say I have encouraged him -to lose time in perusing. - - THE MAIDEN EFFORT OF A VIRGIN MUSE. - - I never thought of turning poet, - And all my friends about me know it, - Till t'other day. I'll tell you why. - Alas! the story makes me sigh! - I tried, in prose, a few light sketches, - Of characters--pats, players, and such wretches, - Which my own folks said were pretty: - In fact, I thought them downright witty; - And, for the good of future ages, - I sallied forth, with these few pages, - To a publisher's, in such a hurry, - As to arrive too soon for that beau-thing, Murray, - Who coolly kept the lady waiting. - An old beau must have time for prating. - At last he came. Oh, mercy! Oh, my stars! - What an appalling beau-costume he wears! - A powdered bob, spectacles, and black coat! - I wish to heaven I had never wrote! - Or ta'en my book, so not here, anywhere, - Sure this won't do! The man's a bore or bear! - My charms to him were nought: nor my oration: - But what care I for Murray's admiration! - If I had penned some _Quarterly_ cupidity, - He would have gladly borne with its stupidity. - "At length, Sir," cried I, in a fuming rage, - "Pray, just peruse, at least, a single page." - With a most supercilious kind of glance, - "Hum," drawled out Murray, "you've not the slightest - chance." - "Pray, Sir, must one come here in a bob-wig?" - Cried I, in my turn, striving to look big; - And then went home to mourn my waste of paper, - Pens, ink, time, and e'en my last wax taper. - Prosers, methought, require an education; - But poets gain, by birth, their own vocation. - -I merely pin it into my manuscript because it is ready written, and -helps to fill up the book, which, I have undertaken for several -reasons: first, because I hope to get some money by it; secondly, -because a certain duke and his son, all! all! honourable men, and with -very honourable titles and ancient names, have taken such an unfair -advantage of my generous treatment of them, that I think they ought to -be exposed---- - -Else they will deceive more men. - -But this is not all. My former errors are well known, and, since they -have told their story I must in justice to myself relate mine. To -proceed with it in form, I perhaps ought to relate at large all the -raptures of my meeting with Lord Ponsonby when he returned from Ireland, -how struck I was with the pale cast of thought, which enfeebled the -brightness of that sweet countenance, only to increase the interest he -previously inspired; how infinitely his deep mourning became him; how he -had loved me for the very thing cross Amy had laughed at me, and called -me Dominie Sampson for; how he sent me Voltaire's tragedy of _Zaire_, -and how delighted he was to find that I felt and understood all its -beauties; how he one day called me his angelic Harriette! and further -declared that, had he known me sooner he would never have married any -other woman! How I used to fancy I could feel his entrance into his -wife's private box at the opera, without seeing him, as though the air -suddenly should become purer; how I have astonished Fanny by guessing -the very instant of his approach, without looking towards his side of -the house: how he would watch and follow me in my walks; how he declared -that he had never in his whole life felt such tenderness of affection -for any woman on earth, combining all a father ought to feel, with the -wildest passion his first youth had been capable of, with many other -matters which it would be tedious to write now: but all this love is -gone by and, for the crime of attaching myself to a married man, I have -deeply suffered: and all my affections are now fixed on another, to -whom I am bound for life: and, being just about to keep a pig and a few -chickens, I really cannot mount up the ladder again: and, why should I -dwell too long on the wild romantic follies of my very youthful days? - -During the three short years our intercourse lasted, our passion -continued undiminished--increase it could not. I do in truth believe, -though it was a wicked thing, no two people on earth ever loved each -other better, and the restraint and difficulties we laboured under -kept our passion alive as it began. Often, after passing the early part -of the evening together, finding it so difficult to separate, we drove -down in a hackney-coach to the House of Lords, and in that coach have -I waited half the night merely for one more kiss and the pleasure of -driving with Ponsonby to his own door. - -These three happy years of my life produced very few anecdotes, which -I can recollect, worth relating; for I had neither eyes nor ears nor -thoughts but for Ponsonby. The old Scotch beggar woman in the park, -who had been the cause of my appearing advantageously to his lordship, -was my constant visitor, and I contributed to her comforts as far as I -could. She had once been in very easy circumstances, and was then in the -habit of receiving every possible attention from her kind country-woman -Lady Cottrell. - -The old woman used to come to dine with me in a rich brocade silk gown, -which stood absolutely alone, and once caused my equally stiff, old, -powdered footman to laugh; but as it was I believe for the first time in -his life I forgave him. - -Apropos of that same Mr. Will Halliday, who though always in print never -expected the honour of being published, everybody wished to know why I -kept such a clock-work, stiff, powdered, methodistical looking servant, -with a pig-tail; whom one might have taken for Wilberforce himself -instead of Will Halliday, and yet that piece of mechanism, with his -hair to match, used to steal my wine, as though he had forgotten all -about his commandments; and when I reproached him with it, he declared -that it was impossible; because, to use his own words, "I am the most -particlerst man as is"; and, because I preferred losing my wine to being -talked to, I submitted. - -"Mr. Will," I used to say, "yes and no are all I want to hear from -any footman; if they will say more to me than this I shall wait upon -myself." - -Will would console himself on these occasions with a young companion of -mine, while she remained with me, whenever he could find her disengaged -or she had the misfortune to be in the parlour while he was laying the -cloth. - -"Miss Hawkes," he would begin, to her great annoyance, "Miss Hawkes, -now you see my missis don't like a sarvant to say nothing but yes and -no. Now sometimes, as I says, Miss Hawkes, yes or no won't do for -everything. Missis was very angry about my speaking yesterday; but, if -I haddunt a told her I was the most particlerst man as is she might a -thort I drinkt her wine, because I keeps the key of the cellar: and then -again, Miss Hawkes, respecting o' my great coat: I wants to tell missis, -as how it's a mile too wide in the back; for you see Miss, Missis don't -observe them ere things. Will you be so good, Miss, as to mention that I -wants to show her how my great coat sets behind?" - -"I will go and tell her directly," said Miss Hawkes, delighted with an -excuse to get away. - -"Well then," said I, in answer to what Miss Hawkes told me, "I will look -at the man's coat after dinner, only I am sure I shall laugh if he is to -walk about the room, sporting his beautiful shape." - -Having thus, for once, given Will liberty of speech, I was in dread of -its consequences at dinner-time. As soon as he had withdrawn the cloth -and placed the dessert upon the table, he began to cough and place -himself in an attitude of preparation. "Now it is coming!" thought I, -and I saw Miss Hawkes striving to restrain her inclination to laugh out -loud, with all her might. - -Will began sheepishly, with his eyes and his fingers fidgeting on the -back of a chair; but he grew in height, and in consequence, as he went -on. "I was a saying to Miss Hawkes, madam, that, respecting o' your -commands, that yes and no wont do for everything. Now ma'am respecting -o' my great coat----" - -"You had better put it on, William," said I, holding down my head that -I might not look at Miss Hawkes. - -"Yes, ma'am; sartanly ma'am," said Will, bustling out of the room, and -returning in an instant equipped in a drab great coat, so very large -behind, that it made him look deformed; but did not, in the least, alter -his usual way of strutting about the room, like a player, - - Whose conceit - Lies in his hamstring, and doth think it rich, - To hear the wooden dialogue and sound, - 'Twixt his stretch'd footing and the scaffoldage. - -So, between my horror of making free with John Bull, and my wish to -laugh at my footman, I was in perfect misery. - -"Take it off, William," said I, faintly, and without venturing to raise -my head, feeling that another glance at Will, eyeing his person all -over, with his sharp little, ferret-eyes, would have finished me. "Take -it off, and carry it to the tailor's." - -But Will, having once received a _carte blanche_ for more than his usual -yes and no, was not so easily quieted. - -"Thank you, ma'am, you are very good ma'am. I'll step down to-night, -with it; for the other evening, ma'am, when you sent me to carry back -that ere pheasant, my Lord Lowther's servant brought you I says, says -I, to Sally, 'as it is such a wet night Sally, I wont put on my laced -hat,' so I claps on an old plain one; and, when I comed to St. James's -Street, there was a bit of a row with some of they there nasty women at -the corner, and, you see, ma'am, this ere coat, sticking out, in this -ere kind of a way behind, and with that large cane of mine, there was a -man, says he, to me, 'Here, watchman! why dont you do your duty?'" - -It was now all over with our dignities. Will, in finishing his pathetic -speech, appeared almost on the point of shedding tears. We both, in the -same instant, burst into an immoderate fit of loud laughter, when Will -had the good sense to leave us. - -The next day Fanny, Miss Hawkes, and myself drove into Hyde Park. We -there met Sophia, with her eldest sister, looking very pretty, and above -all very modest. My carriage was soon surrounded by trotting beaux, -whom I could not listen to, because that adored, sly, beautiful face -of Ponsonby's was fixed on me, _a la distance_. With all my rudeness -and inattention I could not get rid of Lord Frederick Beauclerc. The -rest went round to Fanny's side. This was better than going over to -the enemy. Ponsonby knew me and himself too well to be jealous; but, -not daring to speak to me or hear what I said, he looked unhappy, as I -guessed, at his friend, Fred Beauclerc's persevering attention; and I -proposed to Fanny that we should take a drive down Pall Mall. - -"Is that Mr. Frederick Lamb's ghost?" said Fanny. - -"Where do you mean?" I inquired, and turning my head round, indeed saw -Fred Lamb, who had, I believe, just returned from abroad. He blushed -a little, and ordering my coachman to stop, told me that I looked -remarkably well and that he knew all about me. - -"So you have cut poor Argyle, and are in love again with a man of my -acquaintance?" he continued. - -"You are mistaken," said I, reddening. - -"It may be so," rejoined Fred, "but I rather think I am right." - -I shook hands with him, and hoped we were parting good friends. - - * * * * * - -"I say, Miss Hawkes," said Will Halliday, in the course of the evening, -after we got home, for he generally contrived to _dedommager_ himself, -for the silence I imposed on him, by forcing a few words on Miss Hawkes' -attention--"If we had a gone a little furder down Pall Mall to-day, we -should a seen that ere Prince Coburg." - -"Really!" - -"Yes, Miss: but, laws! Miss, do you know he was nothing in his own -country, and had nothing but a small principality." - -About ten o'clock in the evening, when Miss Hawkes had retired to rest, -and I was sitting alone with my book, Fred Lamb was announced to me. -I desired William to say that it was rather too late, and that I was -shortly going to bed. - -He returned to inform me that Mr. Lamb knew I never went to bed before -midnight, and therefore begged I would permit him to chat with me for -half an hour, so, feeling puzzled how to excuse myself, he was desired -to walk upstairs. - -He talked to me for more than an hour, of Argyle, Lord Ponsonby, and his -own former affection for me. He then became a little more practical than -I liked, first taking hold of my hand, and next kissing me by force. I -resisted all his attempts with mild firmness. At last he grew desperate, -and proceeded to very rough, I may say, brutal violence, against my -fixed determination. I was never very strong; but love gave me almost -supernatural powers to repel him; and I contrived to pull his hair with -such violence, that some of it was really dragged out by the roots. - -Fred Lamb was not of a mild or patient temper. In a moment of -disappointment and fury at the pain I must have inflicted on him, though -it was certainly done only in self-defence, he placed his hand on my -throat, saying, while he nearly stopped my breath, and occasioned me -almost the pangs of suffocation, that I should not hurt him another -instant. He spoke this in a smothered voice, and I did in truth believe -that my last moments had arrived. Another instant would have decided the -business; but he, thank God, relinquished his grasp at my throat. He -is however mistaken if he believes I have ever forgotten the agony of -that moment. He arose from the sofa. His rage, I fancy, being converted -into shame and fear of what I might tell the world, or, perhaps, he -was really shocked at the violence which he had been guilty of. It -may easily be imagined that once free from so frightful a grasper of -throats, I was not long in obtaining my room upstairs and double-locking -my door. Fred Lamb did not attempt to speak to, much less detain me, and -in a very few minutes afterwards I heard him leave the house. - -"Thank God!" I ejaculated, from the very bottom of my heart; and I began -to breathe more freely although I was some time before I recovered my -fright. - -Fred Lamb was a man of the world, and the next day he no doubt said to -himself "this is a bad story, both for my vanity and my character: for I -have been very brutal. The best way now will be for me to tell it first -to all her friends"; and he accordingly went about making light of the -story, as though he had not any reason to be ashamed. - -"Do you know," said he, to several of my acquaintances, who afterwards -repeated it, "do you know that Harriette is so in love with John -Ponsonby, that she was cruel even to me last night! I tried force too; -but she resisted me like a little tiger, and pulled my hair!" - -"Be it so," thought I, and I never told the story, till now. In fact, -I was a good deal afraid of Fred Lamb at that time, and could not but -feel provoked at the idea of a young man going about the world, always -laughing, and showing off the character of a fine, good-tempered, -open-hearted, easy, generous, sailor-like fellow, and who yet could take -me from a rich man, to leave me starving at Somers-town as he had done, -without once making me the offer of a single shilling, and then return -to me, as though all this selfishness had secured him a right over my -person, to persecute me with brutal force and lay hold of my throat, so -as to put me in fear of my life, because I was not his humble slave any -day in any week he happened to return from the Continent: and I am sure -Mr. Frederick Lamb cannot assert that, on the day I believed he meant to -have been my last, he had ever given me one single guinea or the value -of a guinea. - -He is now an ambassador, and just as well off as ambassadors usually -are; yet, in my present poverty, I have vainly attempted to get a -hundred pounds out of him. He has occasionally indeed sent me ten or -five pounds; but not without much pressing, and he has not yet paid my -expenses to Hull and back. - -So much for the high-spirited Fred Lamb! With his brother George I have -only a very slight acquaintance; but am much indebted for the very -polite, friendly and condescending interest that gentleman has been -pleased to take in my welfare. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII - - -About this time, I received a letter from Sir William Abdy, beginning -thus: - - "DEAR, PRETTY MISS WILSON, - - "You told me to be sure and write. - - "I am a good deal better for the journey, though I have not - seen anybody so pretty as you, since I left you...." - -The rest of this eloquent epistle may be dispensed with. - -Lord Ponsonby often rated me about Lord F. Beauclerc, his relation, whom -he always called Fred Diamond Eye; and Fred Beauclerc was continually -teasing me about Ponsonby. I assured him that it was all nonsense. - -"I know better," Fred Beauclerc would answer, "and yet I am fool enough -to love a woman who is going mad for another man. However, if I get well -over this folly, I will for the rest of my life reign lord paramount or -nothing." - -His lordship really loved me, and above all he loved my foot. I was -never in his opinion _assez bien chaussee;_ therefore, he used to go -about town with one of my shoes in his pocket, as a pattern to guide him -in his constant search after pretty shoes for me. - -Fred Beauclerc is a sly, shy, odd man, not very communicative, unless -one talks about cricket. I remember when the Marquis of Wellesley did me -the honour to call on me and tell me what a great man he was, and how -much he had been talked of in the world--how often carried on men's -shoulders without nags, with other reminiscences of equal interest, Fred -Beauclerc, the Diamond Eye, cut me for Moll Raffles. I accused him of -it, laughing, and he laughingly acknowledged the intrigue. - -"I could not endure the idea of your receiving that vain old fool, Lord -Wellesley," said Beauclerc. - -"No harm, believe me!" I replied. "Mere curiosity induced me to have the -man up, to see if he was like his brother; but you are very welcome to -Mrs. Raffles; she'll make an excellent wife to a divine. Not that I know -or care anything about the lady!" - -"And what think you of Wellesley?" said the little parson. - -"Why, I suppose I must either say he is clever and brilliant or be -called a fool myself; so, instead of answering your question, I'll tell -you what he says to me to-morrow, after I shall have acquainted him with -your intrigue with his _belle amie_ Raffles." - -"You are not serious?" said the good clergyman, in a great fright. - -"Yes, I am quite serious I assure you." - -"What! You spoilsport! You make mischief! I would not have believed this -of you." - -"You only do me justice--but I will tell notwithstanding: and if I -either spoil your intrigue, or do mischief to anybody except the noble -marquess, never forgive me." - -"I never will," said Beauclerc seriously, and so we parted. - -In the evening a remarkably fine-looking man requested to speak to me, -from the Marquis of Wellesley. He wore a large brilliant on the third -finger of his very white hand and was peculiarly elegant in his dress. I -offered him a chair with much politeness, feeling really something like -respect for Lord Wellesley's good taste in sending me such an amiable -substitute for a little grey-headed, foolish old man. The gentleman -bowed low and refused to sit. He told me that he came from the Marquis -of Wellesley merely to say, that, if I were disengaged, he would have -the pleasure of calling on me in less than an hour. - -"_C'est son valet, sans doute_"--thought I: and sent my compliments to -Lord Wellesley. - -Wellesley's carriage drove up to my door in less than an hour after -his gentleman had left me. His lordship appeared the very essence of -everything most _recherche_, in superfine elegance. He was in fact all -essence! Such cambric, white as driven snow! Such embroidery! Such -diamonds! Such a brilliant snuff-box! Such seals and chain! And then, -the pretty contrast between the broad, new, blue ribbon across his -breast, and his delicate white waistcoat! - -It was too much, too overpowering for a poor, honest unaffected Suissess -like me:--and I almost wished myself safe in my Canton de Berne; for -never before stood I in such presence, nor breathed I in such essence! -What a pretty little thing too it would be, methought, if it were but -once deposited unhurt in one's bonnet-box, and one could shut him down -whenever the essence became too strong for one's nerves. It was a -graceful thing too in miniature, and its countenance was good and its -speech was all honey, until I very quietly and very unceremoniously -mentioned the worthy clergyman having passed the whole of the night -preceding with Moll Raffles, consoling her, _en pretre_, for his -lordship's absence. - -His lordship now asked me, in a voice trembling more with agitation than -age, or rage, what I meant? - -"Simply, what I have stated." - -"Merciful powers! what do you say? what do you mean? what do you hint -at? what do you think? what are you doing?" If his lordship's want of -breath had not given a momentary check to his volubility and proved -a kind of turnpike in his rapid course, and if I had not caught the -critical opportunity to say-- - -"Nothing--your fair friend must do for us both"--I have little -doubt that the little marquis must and would have fallen a victim to -exhaustion: but thus, having happily had a moment to recover himself, he -proceeded, - -"Nay, nay, nay," and laying his white hand, rings and all, on my -shoulder, in much tribulation and hurry of speech and manner, -"Nay--think of what you are saying--think how you may be injuring that -lovely sweet being--that sweetest unsophisticated! lovely! sweet!" - -"Oh, what a bed or sweets, yours must be!" interrupted I. - -"I know well enough," continued Wellesley, pacing up and down the room -with a feverish rapidity. "I know she went to Vauxhall with Beauclerc; -but then she told me there was nothing in all this." - -"Poor Beauclerc!" ejaculated I; "and what can his lordship do better -than attend so sweet a creature? Come, come," I continued, "my lord! -Mrs. Raffles is rich, and can do without you, kindly assisted as she is -by the little parson!--Don't fret for her, nor for yourself; but, if you -still love her, receive her from the hands of the good clergyman." - -"Impossible!" Wellesley exclaimed. "I must reproach her with her faults, -and then--she will throw the plates and dishes in my face!" - -"No! Would she be so vulgar?" - -"It is not vulgarity in her," said Wellesley. - -"What then?" - -"Nature," was his reply. - -"Well then, since it is natural to break your head, which fact I do not -in the least dispute, may it not be as natural to adorn it occasionally? -and may it not be her nature to intrigue with Fred Beauclerc? Do not -think about it my lord. Make yourself happy and comfortable, and----" - -Wellesley took up his hat and ran downstairs. I followed him, laughing -loudly till he got into his carriage. - -Beauclerc was in due time tired of his _bonne fortune_, and this gave -Wellesley the delicious opportunity of pressing his charmer to his -faithful and doting heart with renovated rapture. - -_La Belle Nature!_ - -About this time, or else some other time, a Mr. Something-doff was -presented to me, hot from Russia. I forgot the beginning of his name. I -recollect that he brought, at the ends of his fingers, a very odd waltz, -which seemed to have been composed on purpose to warm them. I asked him, -since he was on the Emperor's staff, if he had met with the General -Beckendorff. - -"Oh, yes!" answered he, laughing, "Beckendorff is my particular friend. -He wanted to come to England with me; but he assured me he had made such -a fool of himself about a woman here, Amy, I think, he called her, that -he was ashamed to show his face within a thousand miles of herself or -her friends." - -And now my gentle readers: by-the-by, I have no idea why they are so -denominated; or why authors, and good ones too, even Lady Morgan at the -beginning, she is too great a swell now--I only make use of that elegant -expression in humble imitation of Lord Clanricarde--once prosed a great -deal about her gratitude for the kind encouragement and indulgence of -the public; why in the name of common sense will authors be so very -palpably false in what they profess? - -Does not Lady Morgan know as well as I do, that the public never yet -read one line out of charity towards her or any author breathing since -the world began, nor does the kind public ever prize anything which -bores them: so that, if the kind public were to cry up my book from -morning till night, and suffer me to make my fortune by it, I should -feel no more obliged to them than if my volumes kept their station on -the shelves of Mr. Stockdale's spacious library, as regularly in a row -as the apothecary s gallipots in the Honey Moon; but just the contrary. -If I have the knack to amuse the public, I shall expect the public to -be extremely grateful to me, and I desire that they sing my praise in -prose and also in better rhymes than mine, to the end of their natural -life! True, Doctor Johnson and many other good men, declare that merit -is due to such authors as do their best, even when they fail; but what -is the use of its being due since nobody pays! What is an author, or -anybody else the better for having a parcel of bad debts on his ledger? -The good Doctor seems really to be giving Lady Morgan, as well as -poor Harriette, a rap on the knuckles, when he says, "No vanity can -more justly incur contempt and indignation, than that which boasts of -negligence and hurry." For who can bear with patience, the writer who -claims such superiority to the rest of his species as to imagine mankind -are at leisure for attention to his extemporary sallies. Now, for my -part, I do not expect any persons to exercise their patience in bearing -with me, being as morally certain as I am of my existence, that these, -my temporary sallies, like other people's studied stupidity, will be -equally unentertaining, without more regard or respect for the one than -the other. In short, whatever contempt my vanity may incur in writing -these few sketches thus without tormenting myself with quotations -and deep cogitations, I shall beg to lay all the blame entirely on -Stockdale, especially as he has just handed me a quotation from -Cumberland, as he styles it, though I am not without suspicion that he -had a hand in it himself. - -As for our readers, on whom we never fail to bestow the terms of -"candid," "gentle," "courteous," and others of the like soothing cast, -they certainly deserve all the fair words we can give them; for it is -not to be denied, but that we make occasionally very great demands upon -their candour, gentleness, and courtesy, exercising them frequently and -fully with such trials as require those several endowments in no small -proportion. - -But are there not also fastidious, angry, querulential readers? Readers -with full stomachs, who complain of being surfeited and overloaded with -the story-telling trash of our circulating libraries? It cannot be -altogether denied: but still they are readers; if the load is so heavy -upon them as they pretend it is, I will put them in the way of getting -rid of it by reviving the law of the ancient Cecerteans, who obliged -their artists to hawk about their several wares, carrying them on their -backs till they found purchasers to ease them of the burden. Was this -law put in force against authors few of us, I doubt, would be found able -to stand under the weight of our own unpurchased works. - -Now, gentle readers, after this long digression, you shall hear of -the shocking seduction of the present Viscountess Berwick by Viscount -Deerhurst! - - * * * * * - -"She is off! Sophia is off! run away nobody knows where," was the cry of -all my sisters one fine morning. - -"When, how, where?" said I. - -"Last night," answered Fanny, "she was missing. Her father has been to -call on Lord Deerhurst: answer, 'nobody in town.' My mother is coming to -consult with you." - -I waited for no more; but sat down to address Lord Deerhurst, begging -him to consider the risk he ran in detaining such a child. I asserted -the determination of my father to put in force the utmost rigour of the -law; and I implored him, if he was not really dead to shame and all the -best feelings of a man, to repair his fault, by bringing Sophia back to -me immediately. - -That prince of hypocrites, having forcibly obtained all he wished, and -in hopes that this would be the cheapest way of getting rid of the -business, made a great merit of bringing her back to my house, being, as -he said, touched even to tears by my letter, and the monster began to -blubber and declared that nothing wrong had occurred, he having passed -the night with Sophia in mere conversation. - -The poor child looked dreadfully frightened. It is indeed my firm -belief that she went away with Lord Deerhurst, being innocent as an -infant as to the nature of seduction and its consequence. All she was -blameable for was her obstinate boldness in persisting, while so very -young, and with that very innocent face of hers, in keeping up a sly -intercourse with a man like Lord Deerhurst, and throwing herself under -his protection, at an age when girls less shy-looking had been afraid -to have listened or spoken to any man, unsanctioned by the presence of -their mother or sister. - -Sophia was a child, and not a very clever one; but she went away -willingly and immediately after both her mother and myself had -represented the profligacy and disgusting meanness of Lord Deerhurst, in -passing off trumpery chains and rings for valuable jewellery. The child -who could forsake her parents for such a man as Deerhurst, in spite -of every caution, must have been either very vicious or the greatest -simpleton on earth. - -The poor foolish girl was now kept out of every one's sight, and -applications were made to Deerhurst for a provision for her, with a -threat of law proceedings in case of refusal. - -It seems that the only legal plea for obtaining a provision for a girl -thus unfortunately situated is that of the parents having lost her -domestic services. Deerhurst after some months at the last said that, if -Sophia remained with him, he would settle three hundred pounds a-year -on her, as long as no proof of inconstancy to him should be established -against her; but, on such an event taking place, the annuity was to be -reduced to an allowance of one hundred a-year. - -I saw that Sophia was growing idle, and much more likely to get into -worse scrapes than to reform: therefore, having tried the generosity -and honour of men myself, I advised her to secure the annuity at any -rate. Deerhurst employed a ---- of a lawyer to draw up a settlement, -according to the above plan, and in about ten months after his lordship -first seduced Sophia, he hired a very miserable lodging for her, -consisting of two small dark parlours near Grosvenor-place; but then, -to make her amends, he sent her in six bottles of red currant-wine, -declaring to her that such wine was much more conducive to health than -any foreign wine could possibly be. Here we must leave her for a short -time, while I return to my own house to learn of Will Halliday who had -called on me in my absence. These were a gentleman who would not leave -his name and a tradesman of the name of Smith:--both were to return in -the evening. - -"Very well," I said, "let Smith come upstairs; but be sure to send away -the man who is ashamed of his name." - -After dinner Will told me that the strange gentleman begged to be -allowed to speak to my _femme-de-chambre_, Mrs. Kennedy. - -I desired Kennedy to attend him. - -She returned to say that the gentleman sent me word, in confidence, -that he was Lord Scarborough, who had been so long and so very desirous -to make my acquaintance--and regretted the impossibility of getting -presented, since he was not a single man. - -"Go, and tell him," I answered, "that the thing is quite impossible, -more men being regularly introduced to me by others, and of the first -respectability, than I liked." - -He entreated Kennedy to come up to me again. She declared that she -could not take such a liberty with me. Lord Scarborough having, as she -afterwards confessed, softened her heart by a five-pound note, induced -her to carry me up his watch with his arms on the seal, that I might be -certain who he was. - -I was in a great passion with Kennedy, and down she went declaring she -had lost her place. - -I rang the bell, it having just struck me, that the man ought to pay for -putting me in a passion, and giving us all this trouble; therefore, -"Tell him," I said, when Kennedy returned, "that a fifty-pound note -will do as a regular introduction and, if he leaves it to-night, I will -receive him to-morrow at ten." - -He hesitated--wished he could only just speak to me, and give me the -draft himself. - -"Do as you like," Kennedy replied. "Miss Wilson is not at all anxious -for you or your fifty pounds; but she has company and will not be -disturbed to-night." - -"Well," said my lord, "I think you look like an honest, good sort of -woman, who will not deceive me." - -"Never," said Kennedy, with earnestness, and he wrote a draft for me for -fifty pounds, begging she would herself be at hand to let him in when he -should arrive, the next night. "I will be very punctual," continued his -lordship. - -"So will I too," repeated Kennedy; "I will wait for you in the passage;" -and with this they took leave; and I immediately rang my bell for Will -Halliday. - -"William," said I, "that gentleman will be here at ten to-morrow, and -he will probably again ask for Kennedy. Can you look quite serious and -declare to him you never heard of such a person?" - -"As grave as I do now, ma'am." - -"Very well, that is quite enough; but he will no doubt proceed to ask -for me by my name. Can you still be serious, while declaring that you -have no mistress, and that your master is you know well acquainted both -with his lordship and his lady wife?" - -"Most certainly, ma'am," said Will, as seriously as though he had been -at vespers, "I will just clap your directions down in my pocket-book, -so you need not be afraid of me, ma'am; because you see, as I told you -before, I'm the most particlerst man as is." - -"But suppose he insists, William?" - -"Oh, ma'am! I'll tell him I've got my knives to clean, and shut the door -very gently in his face." - -"Thank you, William, I shall feel obliged to you." - -Smith, the haberdasher of Oxford-street, was the next person announced -to me, and he followed William into the drawing-room. He is a short, -thick-built man, with little twinkling eyes, expressive of eager -curiosity, and a bald head. This man had known me when I was quite an -infant, having served my mother I believe before I was born, and often -talked and played with us all while children. As I grew up, his extreme -vulgarity, and the amorous twinkle of his little eyes, furnished me with -so much real sport and amusement, that, in gratitude for his being so -very ridiculous, I had by degrees lost sight of all my usual reserve -towards these sort of people: and once, when I was about eleven years -of age, this man caught me in the very act of mimicking his amorous -leers at our maidservant. I was close behind him and he saw me in the -looking-glass. - -"Oh you rogue!" said Smith, and from that day good-bye all serious -reserve between Smith and me. I would have cut him, only nobody sold -such good gloves and ribbons. I often took people to his shop to amuse -them, while I encouraged Smith to be as ridiculous as possible, by -affecting to be rather flattered by his beautiful leering and his soft -speeches. - -Smith was as deaf as a post, and never spoke without popping his ear -against one's mouth, to catch the answer, and saying, "Hay! Hay!" long -before one's lips could move to address him. - -I guessed at the motive for his visiting me on this occasion, for I -knew that two of my promissory notes of hand for fifty pounds each -had been returned to him on that morning, as they had also been three -months before, when I made him renew them. Not that I was in any sort -of difficulty during the whole period I remained with Lord Ponsonby, -who always took care of me and for me; but Smith's scolding furnished -me with so much entertainment, that I purposely neglected his bills, -knowing his high charges and how well he could afford to give long -credit. He came into the room, with a firmer step than usual and his bow -was more stately. - -"Your sarvant, Miss." - -"Smith," said I, "those bills were paid to-day, I hope?" - -Smith shook his head. "Too bad, too bad, Miss, upon my word!" - -I laughed. - -"You are a pretty creature!" said Smith, drawing in his breath, his -amorous feelings for an instant driving the bills out of his head, and -then added hastily, with an altered expression of countenance, "But you -really must pay your bills!" - -"You don't say so?" - -"If," continued Smith earnestly; "if you had but ha' let me ha knode, -you see; but, in this way, you hurt my credit in the City." - -"What signifies having credit, in such a vulgar place as that?" - -"You talk like a child," exclaimed Smith impatiently. - -"Come," said I to Smith, "hand out your stamps." - -"And Miss, do you expect me to find you in stamps too?" - -I laughed. - -"But," continued Smith, growing enthusiastic all at once, "you look so -beautiful and charming in your little blue satin dress. You bought that -satin of me I think? Ah, yes, I remember--you do look so pretty, and so -tempting, and so, so--oh Lord." - -"Mr. Smith, I really will speak to Mrs. Smith, if you will go into these -sort of raptures." - -"Beg you pardon, beg your pardon! Have got a curious little article -here to show you" (pulling something from his breeches pocket, which -proved to be some embroidered, covered buttons). "Beg your pardon, but, -bless you! You are so well made you see, about here"--touching his own -breast. "There is never a one of your sisters like you, about here. I -always said it. Hay? hay? I was a saying so, you see, to my young man -yesterday when you came into the shop. Now, there's Miss Sophy, pretty -creature too! very, but, Oh, Lord! you beat them all, just about here." - -"Mr. Smith, I really must send a note to your wife to-morrow." - -"Oh, no! I am sure you wont. You would not be so hard-hearted." He then -proceeded, in a whisper, "The fact is, there's never a man in England as -don't have a bit of frolic; only they doesn't know it you see. Pretty -hair!----" - -"Mr. Smith, if you meddle with my hair, I shall seriously be angry, and -ring for my servant." - -"Beg pardon.--Thousands of pardons--It's the worst of me, I'm so -imperdent, you see!--can't help it--been so from child--never could keep -my hands off a fine woman! and Mrs. Smith is confined, you see: that's -one thing! Hay? Hay? but it shan't happen again. Now about those here -bills? If I draw you up two more, now, will you really give me your word -they shall be paid?" - -"No," answered I. - -"You wont?" - -"No!" - -"Then I'll tell you what, Miss! I can't say as you treat me exactly like -a lady, and--now don't laugh--oh, you sly, pretty rogue!--Hay? Hay? Beg -pardon--it's my own fault, you see. So very imperdent! Come, I'll draw -up these here bills." - -He began writing, and I laughed at him again. He shook his head at me. -"Sad doings, Miss, these here bills being returned." - -"It's the worst of me," said I, mimicking his manner. "It's the worst of -me, that I never do pay my bills. Have been so from a child!" - -Lord Ponsonby's well-known rap at the door occasioned Smith to be -bundled into the street, bills and all, without the slightest ceremony. - -I have, I believe, already said that I would not dwell much on that -period of my life, which I passed so happily with Lord Ponsonby and -which lasted, I think, three years. Lord Rivers used to say to me, "Your -little light feet seem scarcely to touch the earth, as though you could -almost fly!" - -Happiness is a stupid subject to write upon, therefore I will revert to -that of the present Lady Berwick, whom I often visited after she took -possession of the poor humble lodging which Deerhurst's parsimony had -provided for her. First, however, the respect I feel for the memory of a -most tender parent, makes me anxious that she should be acquitted from -every shadow of blame which might, by some perhaps, be imputed to her, -in consequence of her daughters' errors and the life they fell into. - -My mother was a natural daughter of a country gentleman, of great -respectability and good estate, Mr. Cheney. His only son, General -Cheney, was an old guardsman, and died some few years ago. The late Lady -Frederick Campbell, aunt of his grace the Duke of Argyle, was so struck -with the beauty of my mother as to adopt her and bring her up as her own -child. After her marriage, her ladyship still continued her friendship -and, indeed, almost up to the time of the very lamented death of that -amiable lady. - -I remember the ceremony of our being all dressed up in our best frocks -to go out of town and pass the day with her ladyship, who was kind -enough to stand godmother to my eldest sister. My mother was the -most beautiful woman, and possessed the finest and most benevolent -countenance, I have ever seen in my whole life. Her education had been -carefully attended to by Lady Frederick, and she possessed a most -excellent understanding; but, marrying so very young a man more than -twenty years her senior, and being remarkably meek and gentle, she -acquired such a habit of blind submission to his will, that at home -she was more like our sister than our parent. She was powerless to -contribute either to our good or our comfort in any one thing which did -not suit my father's humour. Having no fortune to bestow on us, she -gave us the best education in her power; and, what ought to have done us -still more good, she ever set us the very best example; for she was not -only virtuous, but patient, industrious, and invariably amiable in her -temper. She was the mother of fifteen children, when she died lamented -and respected by every one who knew her. - -Our home was truly uncomfortable; but my dearest mother ever made it the -study of her life to contribute to the ease and welfare of her family. - -This, as I have said before, is not a complete confession; but nothing -is stated of consequence to any individual which is not strictly true. - -When I called on Sophia I generally found two or three beaux talking -nonsense to her. Among them, Henry De Roos was the most favoured. Sophia -appeared to dislike Lord Deerhurst of all things, and complained that he -was unusually sparing of soap and water at his toilette. - -"He dresses completely," said Sophia, "before he touches water; and, -being equipped, he wets a very dirty hair-brush and draws it over his -head; and this is what he calls washing it--and then, having thus washed -his hands and face, he says that he feels fresh and comfortable." - -One day Deerhurst insisted on my accompanying him and Sophia in his -curricle, to go out of town somewhere to dinner. - -"Three in a curricle?" said Sophia. - -"Oh, it is no matter at this time of the year;" Deerhurst replied. - -I inquired where we should dine. - -Deerhurst named some small place about eight miles from town, but I have -forgotten what he called it. He took us to a common village pot-house, -where nothing could be put on the table besides fried eggs and bacon. - -"Most excellent!" exclaimed Deerhurst, "an exquisite dish--and so very -rural!" - -Our rural dinner was soon despatched; and, as I could not endure -the strong smell of tobacco, which issued in copious fumes from the -tap-room, I proposed returning to town as fast as possible. - -Sophia, who always agreed with everybody, was asked first by Deerhurst -if eggs and bacon were not a delightful dish. - -She answered, "Very much so indeed." - -I then asked her if it were not enough to make us sick on such a hot day. - -To which her reply was "I am quite sick already." - -In coming home, Deerhurst put his horses all at once into a full gallop -as we drew near the turnpike, bent on the noble triumph of cheating--I -will not use the technical word--the man of twopence! The lord of the -gate, in a fury ran after Deerhurst and with some difficulty contrived -to catch hold of his whip. - -"Let go my whip!" vociferated Deerhurst. - -"You sneaking b---kg---d!" said the man, still holding fast by one end -of the whip, "this is not the first time you have attempted to cheat me." - -"Let go my whip, and be d----d to you!" bawled Deerhurst. - -The man however refused and in the struggle it was broken. - -"Now d--n your soul," said Deerhurst, darting from the curricle without -the least regard to our fears, and leaving us to manage two spirited -horses how we could. In an instant he had stripped off his coat and was -hard at it with the fat, dirty turnpike-man. - -"Oh!" ejaculated I, in despair, "that ever I should have ventured out in -such disgusting society!" - -"Very disgusting indeed," echoed Sophia. - -Once Deerhurst was down; but we soon discovered that the fat -turnpike-man was undermost, and, "Go it, my lord! you a lord? a rum -lord!" burst from a Babel-like confused world of voices. - -The Honourable Arthur Upton happened to be passing at this moment. -I called out to him by his name, and he came up to the curricle. I -told him that we were frightened almost to death at the scene which -presented itself, and our peculiar situation, having no proper dresses -nor shoes for walking, and requested that he would make somebody stand -at the heads of the horses. - -He did so, and afterwards obligingly made his way to Lord Deerhurst. He -begged his lordship would excuse the liberty he took, adding, "We know -each other personally Lord Deerhurst, and I cannot help feeling hurt -and grieved to see you so engaged, particularly with two young ladies -under your immediate protection. I feel myself bound, seeing so many -blackguards against you, to stand by you, as long as you choose to keep -me in this very disgraceful situation." - -"What," cried out the many-mouthed mob, "you are another lord, I -suppose? Here's rum lords for you! cheating a poor man out of twopence, -and then stopping to fight in the road. My sarvices to you, my lord! Who -would not be a lord!" - -"Out of respect for you, Mr. Upton," said Deerhurst, "I will pay this -fellow;" and thus, after knocking the poor man about till he was black -and blue, his lordship being possessed of all such skill as his friends -Crib and Jackson had taught him, he paid him the twopence which was -originally his due, and was hissed and hooted till he drove out of sight. - -When he rejoined us, his nose and fingers were covered with blood. - -"Did you ever see such an impudent rascal, my dear Sophia?" said -Deerhurst to her. - -"Never in my life," prettily repeated Sophia in her own cuckoo-strain. - - - - -CHAPTER IX - - -By this time, my most gentle readers are growing, _tant soi peu_, tired -of--what they presume to call---my consummate nonsense! and an indulgent -public is, I must however say, somewhat prematurely thinking about -throwing aside my very charming narrative of facts in high life as they -actually took place; though I do not specify in what year or years, -being anxious to forget all such critical matters as dates. - -To such of the kind public as may have a perverted taste for the -serious, I beg leave to state that I am now making my _debut_ in a -tragic part; but venture humbly to express the hope that my tragical -adventures will furnish more interest to my readers than they supplied -amusement to me. - -I have twice before stated that Lord Ponsonby's attachment to me -continued, or appeared to continue, unabated for the space of nearly -three years: _et, savez-vous, mes belles dames, que cela est beaucoup?_ -Towards the end of that period, he one evening appeared to me unusually -melancholy. I had frequently reproached him with making a mystery to me -of something which must have happened to him; but he not only assured -me that I was mistaken, but began to affect more than his accustomed -gaiety; and he acted his part so well that I was doubtful whether I had -not been altogether deceived. - -"Then perhaps you are only out of health," said I, "instead of out of -spirits? for I am sure that your hands are feverish." - -"Now you have discovered it," said Ponsonby, laughing; "I am going -to die!--Would you regret me?" said he: and then, in a tone of much -feeling, added, as he put back my thick hair with his two hands, to kiss -my forehead and examine the expression of my countenance, intensely, as -though he were taking a last farewell of it--"I will not ask you; for I -am sure you would." - -He now took up some paper and began to write, holding his hand before -the paper to prevent my seeing a single line. - -"What are you writing?" I asked. - -"Private business," was Ponsonby's answer. - -On this I sat down to my pianoforte, that I might not interrupt him. Yet -it struck me that it must be something for me, or that he would not have -written it at my house. - -Lord Ponsonby had often hinted that he wished to make a provision for -me, during my life, of two hundred pounds a year. I imagined that this -might be something of a promise to that effect:--but, as I knew Ponsonby -at that time to be very poor and much in debt, my resolution was taken -at once. "He will divide his purse with me," thought I, "while he lives -and loves me--and I will never look forward, nor provide for one hour -after Ponsonby shall be lost to me." - -As soon as he had sealed up a letter, which he put into his pocket, he -looked at his watch and, starting upon his feet, said, in a voice of -real distress, "I must go!--Who would have imagined that it could be so -late!" - -"Must you go home, already?" I asked. - -"Not home, but to the House of Lords," Ponsonby replied. "But, my dear -Harriette, I cannot lose you at this moment! Perhaps you were right, and -my spirits may have been rather lower than usual to-night! Will you come -down with me in a hackney coach as far as the House?" - -I acquiesced willingly; and when we arrived there I begged to be allowed -to wait for him. "I do not care if it should be all night," said I; -"for you'll come at last, and we can drive towards your house together." - -Ponsonby answered that I was very good; but in the greatest despondency. - -In half an hour he came to the coach-door, to say that the House would -sit late and he could not bear the idea of my waiting. - -"All these things, my dearest Ponsonby," said I, "are mere matters of -taste. I am very happy in waiting for you--very!" He did not again -return to me for more than three hours. It was daylight. He seemed to -be dreadfully unwell and fatigued. I had never seen him thus since the -death of his father. He gave me, I think, almost a hundred kisses, -without uttering a single word. - -"You are much fatigued, dear Ponsonby," said I; "I only wish to heaven I -might stay with you and take care of you for ever." - -"I have a letter for you," said Ponsonby, drawing the one which he had -written at my house from his pocket, as we drove towards his own home. - -"You must excuse my taking it," said I; "because, I will tell you -frankly, I rather guess that it is to secure me the provision which you -have so often talked about." - -He was peremptory. - -"I am no liar, Ponsonby," said I, "and, when I most solemnly declare to -you that I will never accept of any annuity from you, unless you were -to become so rich as to make one without the slightest inconvenience to -yourself or your family--I hope you will believe me." I then tore the -letter into many pieces and threw it out of the coach-window. - -Ponsonby seemed almost ashamed of having had so little as two hundred -pounds a year to offer; but even that was not without difficulty, for he -was most magnificent in his ideas of gentlemanly expenditure. - -Poor fellow! He had so little of it to spend: and from delicacy he was -afraid to say more on the subject of what he considered a trifle wholly -unworthy of me. - -As he drew near his door, Ponsonby pressed me close to his heart. "My -dear Harriette," said he, "it is indeed as you say, very hard upon -us that we may not pass the whole of our lives together; but then be -assured of this truth; and I hope that it may afford you consolation, -happen what will, my affection for you, to whom I certainly owe some of -the happiest hours I have ever known." - -The kiss which followed this declaration was as long and as ardent as -our first! Yet alas! how different the parting kiss of unfathomable -anguish, given in the fervour of gaunt despair, to the first -soul-thrilling embrace of wild, ardent ecstasy, which comprehends no -limits and which, like the last, could never be forgotten by me. - -Ponsonby had affected me with his more than usual melancholy, and, -when I was about to take my leave, I felt that I could not speak; but -I kissed his hand eagerly and fervently, as he was hurrying out of the -coach.... - -I have never seen him from that hour. - -On the following evening, while I was expecting Ponsonby, I received -a letter from him, the purport of which was to inform me that we had -parted for ever. - - * * * * * - -I remember little of the style or nature of the letter. Something I read -about a discovery made by Lady Ponsonby, and a solemn engagement or -promise extorted from him, to see me only once more, in which interview -he had intended to have explained and arranged everything; but could -not. The perusal of this letter occasioned a mist to come over my eyes, -my heart seemed to swell so as almost to produce suffocation: and yet I -did not believe it to be possible that we could have parted for the last -time, or surely my anguish had burst forth in one wild cry and then all -had been still for ever! - -But hope was not yet extinct. I felt stunned, more by the sudden shock -of such an idea being presented to my imagination as possible, than from -conviction of its probability. "Dreadful!" thought I, and shuddered, -while I felt a cold dew as from the charnel-house overspread my whole -frame, "shall Ponsonby refuse to speak to me, and even look upon me as -a stranger, after all our communion of feeling, after all that deep -interest which he evinced towards me so late as this very morning? -Nonsense! palpable, gross absurdity! How I have been frightening myself! -As if it were in human nature to be so cruel even to one's greatest -enemy! And Ponsonby's nature is so kind!" and then a violent hysterical -affection steeped my senses in forgetfulness and relieved for an instant -the bitter anguish of my heart. Then I suddenly recollected his parting -kiss. Gracious God! could he have left me? My brain seemed absolutely on -fire. I flew to the window, where for years I had been in the habit of -watching his approach. "It is not high enough," thought I, "and would -but half destroy me. I will go to him first," and my trembling hands -essayed in vain to fasten the ribbons of my bonnet under my chin: "but -no, no, I will not risk her happiness. I am not really wicked, not so -very wicked as to deserve this dreadful calamity. We are sent into the -world to endure the evils of it patiently, and not thus to fly into -the face of our God. If he is our father, and I kneel down to him with -patience, this anguish will be calmed." - -I locked my door, and then prostrated myself with my face on the floor -and prayed fervently for near an hour that, if I was to see Ponsonby no -more, God would take me in mercy out of a world of such bitter suffering -before the morning. I arose somewhat comforted: but stiff, and so cold -that my whole frame trembled violently. I swallowed some lavender-drops -and tried to write: blotted twenty sheets of paper with unintelligible -nonsense and wetted them with my tears. - -The book Ponsonby last read to me now caught my eye. No sense of -religion could calm me or save me from the actions of despair, while -these objects were before me, and, hastily wrapping my cloak about me, I -hurried into the streets. I walked on with incredible swiftness till my -strength failed me all at once, and, panting for breath, I sat down on -the step of a door in Half Moon-street. The night was dark and rainy. "I -have a strong mind," thought I, "and I will exert it to consider where -I shall look for help and consolation if Ponsonby has left me." As this -thought struck me, the slow tear fell unregarded down my cheek. "Death," -was the answer my despair made me, "only death can relieve me!" But then -what is death? how soon the vital spark of life is destroyed in insects. -The poor moth, when writhing in torture of its own seeking, how often -and how easily I have put at rest! Ponsonby's neglect, Ponsonby's late -passion, his smile, and his last long kiss, cannot torture me after this -little palpitation has ceased, and I held my fingers to my throat to -ascertain the strength of what seemed all of life about me. Yet I will -suffer first, and suffer long, that I may pray for God's forgiveness, -only be it my consolation that this will terminate all. - -Alas! vain was my reasoning. There was no consolation for me. I was -bent on writing to Ponsonby. "I will return home," thought I, "and shut -myself up in the small room he has never entered." My trembling knees -could no longer support me. I tried to rise; but could not. My lips were -parched, my cheeks burned, and I was very sick. "God is about to grant -the prayer I have made to him," thought I,--ever sanguine in what I -wished--"I shall die by his own will." - -I grew worse, and very faint. Sickness was new to me at that time, and -now a slight touch of fear came over me. "Alas!" methought, "I am going -out of the world very young and very miserably, and before I have -written to Ponsonby. He would have returned to me. He loved me, and -while there was life there was hope. I might have been so exquisitely -happy as to have been pressed to his heart again! though but once more, -it would have compensated an age of misery. It is but in losing him -I can appreciate my late wonderful happiness. I would have been his -servant or his slave, and lived on one of his smiles for a week, as a -reward for the hardest labour. What am I? what was I, that Ponsonby -should devote his precious life to me? No matter what I was!" As I grew -still fainter, I prayed for Ponsonby's eternal happiness, as though I -had felt he required my prayers. - -"Vy do you set there?" inquired a man, who was passing, in the accent -of a Jew, and, receiving no answer, after examining me attentively, he -added, "Poor ting! poor girl you are ill! don't be afraid of a poor old -Jew. Tell me vat I sal do for you." My heart was so deeply oppressed -that my strongest effort to subdue my feelings proved unsuccessful; -and, at the sound of these few words uttered in a tone of unaffected -benevolence, I sobbed aloud. - -"Poor ting! poor young ting! Got bless my soul," taking my hand, "you -are very ill, you have much fever, vat shall pe done!" - -"I am really ill," said I, struggling to speak calmly, "and you will -oblige me greatly if you will have the kindness to see me to a hackney -coach." - -The Jew hastened to comply with my request, and with real delicacy -assisted me into the carriage he procured for me, without making a -single inquiry. - -Arrived at home, my housekeeper was so alarmed and struck at my altered -appearance that she, after putting me to bed, sent for Dr. Bain, who -assured me that I was in a high fever, and that my recovery depended -entirely on my keeping myself very quiet. - -I confessed to my physician that there was something on my mind which -agitated me so violently that I could find no rest till I was allowed -to write a long letter. He seemed to take a strong interest in my fate; -and, after vainly imploring me not to attempt it, suffered my maid to -place my writing-desk before me; but, alas! I could not write. - -My memory began to fail me, and my head was dreadfully confused, I -remarked this to Dr. Bain as I laid down my pen. - -"My dear child," said the doctor, taking my burning hand with much -kindness, "your pulse is so high at this moment, that nothing but the -most perfect stillness can ever restore you. Only obey my instructions -for three days, and I firmly hope that your fever will have left you, -and you will be able to write without difficulty on any subject you -please." - -The idea of dying without having addressed Ponsonby, caused me such -extreme anguish, that I submitted like an infant to follow the advice I -received. - -"Only assure me, sir," said I, "that I shall be able to write to a -particular friend, a very long, collected letter before I die--and my -mind will become comparatively calm." - -The doctor gave me all the comfort in his power, and promised to see me -early in the morning. - -I passed a very agitated night, I could not refrain from puzzling my -poor, confused brain as to what I should write to Ponsonby. My letter -was to decide my fate on earth, therefore must not be hurried, nor begun -till I had collected all the energies of my mind. I prayed that such -eloquence might be granted me as might persuade and lead Ponsonby, at -least to show some symptoms of humanity towards me. - -It was six o'clock in the morning before the strong opiate which Dr. -Bain had prescribed for me produced any effect. At that hour, quite -exhausted in mind and body, I fell into a heavy sleep, which lasted more -than eight hours. - -On opening my eyes, I saw at my bedside my dear sister Fanny and Dr. -Bain: the latter was feeling my pulse. I felt very much agitated at -seeing Fanny. - -Dr. Bain told her that my disorder proceeded alone from the agitation of -my mind; but it, nevertheless, had produced such violent effects as to -make it advisable for me immediately to lose some blood. - -I submitted to whatever was required of me; but I begged Fanny not to -tease or question me as to what had caused all this, assuring her that -I could not talk on the subject without disturbing my senses, and I was -earnestly desirous of obtaining a little calm reason, if only for one -hour more, that I might compose a letter before I died. - -Dr. Bain, as well as my sister, said and did everything the most tender -friendship could dictate. To be brief, their kind attention and my own -excellent constitution triumphed over the fever, which had been very -severe during five days. In a little more than a fortnight I left my -bed; and, though reduced to a mere shadow of what I had been, I found -myself sufficiently collected to address the following letter to Lord -Ponsonby: - - "Scarcely a month has elapsed since I possessed, or believed I - possessed, with health, reputed beauty, and such natural spirits, - 'as were wont to set the table in a roar,' all my highest flights - of imagination had ever conceived or dreamed of perfect happiness - on earth--I had almost said, in heaven! Alas! I had not considered - how unreal and fleeting must ever be the glories of this life, and - I was, as a child, unprepared for the heavy affliction which has - fallen on my heart like a thunder-bolt, withering all healthful - verdure and crushing its hopes for ever. - - "In encouraging so deep an attachment for a married man I - have indeed been very hardened; but, till now, I can call my God - to witness, I have never in my life reflected seriously on any - subject. Maturity of thought, it should seem, is acquired earlier - by certain characters than others; for I could affirm on my - death-bed that, hitherto, I dreamed not of injuring any one of my - fellow creatures. In short, while I loved all the world and would - fain have done them all good, I most respected Lady Ponsonby. This - assertion may seem scarcely credible to young females, differently - educated or of less wild and childish dispositions; but, just - arisen from a sick bed, I write not to deceive. - - "Three weeks of bitter anguish of mind and body have changed, - or rather matured my nature so completely, that even the expression - of my features bears another character. - - "My eyes are now open and I feel that, as the mistress of a - married man, possessing an innocent, amiable young wife, I could no - longer be esteemed or respected by the only being whose respect was - dear to me. As lovers then, Ponsonby, we have met for the last time - on earth!" [Here I laid down my pen; because this idea affected me.] - - "I have delayed writing to you, till I could address you with - reasonable firmness, not with the mere ravings of passion. Think - you so meanly of me, dear Ponsonby, as to fancy that I could be - gratified at becoming a mere instrument of pleasure to you, after - my cool judgment has told me that I should thus forfeit all right - to your respect or esteem? You are a man of the world, and as such - may confound what is termed a lovefit, with the deep affection you - have for three years taken pains to inspire in my heart. - - "'Love never kills,' says the unfeeling world: yet, unfeeling - as it may be, such a sudden desertion of your wife would have - called forth towards her its deepest commiseration. Alas! the - ceremony of marriage, read over to me by a thousand priests, could - not have added one jot to my despair, while I in vain cast my - cheerless eyes around the wide world for a single ray of pity, - which is ever denied me. - - "Yet the faults of my careless youth have been sanctioned - and encouraged and shared by you, who knew well, from experience, - the future anguish you were preparing for me! You elated my - pride beyond all the bounds of humility; you blessed me with more - than human happiness, but to destroy my peace for ever! I was not - naturally vain; but, when you have shut yourself up whole days - alone, to think on our meeting and our love, till we should meet - again,--when, in movements of the wildest passion, you, with all - your talent and your glorious beauty, have called me your own - angelic Harriette, think you I could divest myself of delicious - pride in the object of my passion? And if I did not believe or - fancy myself an angel, perhaps my attributes as a woman were but - the more appreciated by me, as you preferred them. - - "Enough of a subject I had determined not to touch upon. I bow - with humility to the fate which compels me to resign such happiness - as few, among wiser and better people, have been permitted to - enjoy; and, 'come what may, I have been blessed.' - - "Had it pleased heaven to have bestowed on me the husband of - my choice, there is nothing great or good or virtuous that I had - not aspired to: as it is, I am a poor fallen wretch, who ask of - your compassion one line or one word of consolation to save me from - despair. - - "Oh! I have known such moments of deep anguish as I could - never describe to you. Ponsonby, my dear Ponsonby! I throw myself - on my knees before you, I raise the eyes you have so often - professed to love and admire, now disfigured, and half closed by - constant weeping, towards heaven, and I ask of God to soften your - heart, that you may not torture me beyond my strength. Recall then - those dreadful words,--'we must part now, Harriette, and for ever!' - I too am a woman! and Lady Ponsonby desires not my death. - - "Trust me, the errors and little weaknesses which humanity - dictates shall be found more acceptable in the eyes of God, than - such stoical virtue as results from hardness of heart. - - "If I survive the punishment you have declared I must submit - to, it will be by the strength of my constitution, which shall - be proof against an age of anguish! My heart was ever warm and - unusually affectionate. I ask but to live yet for you, not with - you. I would but obtain your approbation as a reward for my earnest - endeavours to do right, and obtain for myself an existence, by - my own industry, if ever my former health and strength should be - restored to me. - - "When you come and speak to me of what is right and virtuous - shall I not love virtue for your sake? Have I ever wished to - disobey you? I do not ask you to visit me alone. Call on me with - Lord Jersey. Come soon, and give but the assurance that still and - for ever you will be all to me that honour and virtue permits; that - once in every year, while I act virtuously, you will visit me, and - encourage me with your friendship and approbation. - - "I am overpowered with faintness and fatigue, else I had many, - many more arguments to urge. Hope, almost life, hangs on your - answer; therefore, dear Ponsonby be merciful, and so may God bless - you. - - "HARRIETTE." - - -My mind was very much relieved, after I had despatched my letter; for -I considered that I should certainly hear from Lord Ponsonby, if he -possessed one spark of feeling toward me; and, if he did not, of course -my respect and affection must naturally abate. - -I watched for the appearance of the postman, who usually brought my -letters, from morning till night, with indescribable emotion; nor did I -cease to hope for a whole week. At last however I was convinced that the -epistle which had cost me so much labour of thought, was indeed entirely -disregarded by the person on whom I expected it would have made a deep -impression. - -Somewhat of an indignant feeling began to take the place of affection. -All my woman's pride was roused, and yet methought, this man, so cruelly -unfeeling to me now, has watched my slumbers in breathless silence, and -still he smiles with the same brilliant expression on others, and all -about him are impressed with that dignified air of true nobility, that -reserve so delightfully and condescendingly thrown aside, in favour of -the few who please him. - -A slow intermitting fever began to prey on my constitution. I felt a -violent oppression of the chest, which increased so rapidly, in spite of -all my kind friend, Dr. Bain, could do for me, that in less than a month -after I had addressed my last letter to Ponsonby, I could never find -breath sufficient to enable me to ascend the stairs to my bed-chamber, -without sitting down to rest more than once. I began to hate society; -above all I avoided anything like gaiety. - -It was now that I believed in all I had heard as to the wretchedness -of this life, and I wanted to reconcile myself to my God. "I will pass -my heavy hours in doing the little good to my fellow creatures, in my -power," said I one day, as I recollected my former slight acquaintance -with a woman whom I knew to have been lately taken to Newgate for rather -a heavy debt. She was Lord Craven's housekeeper, during the time I had -lived with him at Brighton. - -I ordered my carriage to the debtors' door of Newgate. My mind was so -deeply absorbed with one object, that the misery I saw there did not -much affect me. The poor woman, Mrs. Butler, was surprised and delighted -to see me. - -"I wish I could pay your debt," said I, panting for breath as usual, and -speaking with pain and difficulty. - -"My dear, dear young lady," said Mrs. Butler, looking at me with much -compassion, "what has happened to that sweet, merry, blooming face of -yours?" - -It only required a single word, uttered in a tone of sympathy, to bring -the ready tears into my eyes. Mine now fell, disregarded by me, down my -pale cheek. "You," returned I, "are not the only person in affliction; -but, never mind, talk to me, my good woman, of anything except my -unhappiness. I cannot pay your debt, with common justice to my own -creditors; but this trifle I can spare, and you are very welcome to it." -I then placed in her hand all I at that moment possessed in the world, -except a single one pound note. - -Mrs. Butler really was what she appeared, very grateful. I sat an hour -with her, and promised constantly to visit her and provide for all her -little wants, as long as she continued in prison. When I was taking my -leave, just as the last bell was about to ring, which was to exclude all -strangers for the night, I observed an interesting young girl of about -fourteen years of age, in one corner of the room, weeping bitterly; near -her sat an elderly lady apparently in much affliction. A working man was -in the act of making up a large bundle, out of I knew not what. - -"Those poor people are in great affliction," said Mrs. Butler, observing -what had fixed my attention. "The mother has seen better days; they have -hitherto contrived to pay 3_s._ 6_d._ a week for the hire of their bed, -which that man is now taking away, because their means are exhausted." I -was instantly about to desire the man to put down the bed, when prudence -whispered in my ear that I had just given all I possessed but a single -pound note. "No matter," thought I, taking out my purse, "poverty -cannot add to such affliction of the mind as mine is." Again I paused. -This lady has seen better days and must be treated with more delicacy. -I hastened towards her and, taking hold of her hand to place my bank -note in it, I whispered in her ear, my request, that she would do me -the favour to make use of the trifle, and without waiting her answer I -hurried on after the man, who was now disappearing with the poor woman's -mattress and bed-clothes, and desired him to return with them. - -The next morning I was surprised by a visit from the Duke of Wellington, -who had unexpectedly arrived from the continent the night before. - -"How do you do? what have you been about?" asked His Grace: then, fixing -his eyes on my pale, thin, care-worn face, he absolutely started, as -though he had seen the ghost of some man he had killed, honestly of -course! - -"What the devil is the matter?" inquired Wellington. - -"Something has affected me deeply," answered I, my eyes again filling -with tears, "and I have been ill for more than two months." - -"Poor girl!" said Wellington, as though he really would have pitied me, -had he but known how, and then added, "I always dreaded your getting -into some scrape. Do you recollect I told you so? How much money do you -want?" said this man of sentiment, drawing near the table and taking up -my pen to write a draft. - -"I have no money," I replied, "not a single shilling; but this is not -the cause of my sufferings." - -"Nonsense, nonsense," rejoined Wellington, writing me a cheque. "Where -the devil is Argyle? Why do not you make him pay your debts? I will -give you what I can afford now, and you must write to me, as usual, at -Thomas's Hotel, if this is not sufficient. Good God! how thin you are -grown! Were you sorry I left you? I remember you shed tears when I told -you I was off for Spain. I am a cold sort of fellow. I dare say you -think so, and yet, I have not forgotten that either: because there is -no humbug about you; and, when you cry, you are sorry I believe. I have -thought of you very often in Spain; particularly one night, I remember, -I dreamed you came out on my staff." - -Wellington consoled me as well as he could, and sat with me nearly three -hours. His visit made no impression on me, except that I was grateful -for his kindness in leaving me the money I wanted. - -The oppression on my chest increased daily, and I became so reduced as -to excite the commiseration of a kind opposite neighbour, who sent over -her footman to know if the poor young creature she saw from her window, -and who appeared so very ill, had proper advice, and friends in town to -take care of her? - -My grief seemed now to settle in deep despondency. I considered my late -intimacy with Ponsonby as unreal mockery, a bright vision of the fancy. -I believed that were he suddenly to appear again before me, I should -instantly expire. Dr. Bain, I know, believed that my symptoms bordered -on a decline and he wished me to try Italy. - -In about a week I paid a second visit to Mrs. Butler, although my -trembling limbs could scarcely support me up the stairs of the prison; -and, when I entered, I was absolutely speechless with the effort for -nearly a quarter of an hour. Mrs. Butler was all gratitude; while -expressing the concern I believe she felt, lest I should injure myself -by venturing out in such a miserable state of health. - -Observing in the room several women, who appeared to examine me with -perfect curiosity, I asked Mrs. Butler if she knew what it meant. - -"Why," said Mrs. Butler, "that woman, whose bed they were taking away -from her when you noticed her last week, knows you, and has been -malicious enough to tell all the room that you are a mere kept mistress -with whom she should be ashamed to converse." - -I threw on the stranger to whom I had given my very last pound a hasty -and indignant glance, but, neither the expression nor the colour of -anger would dwell on a cheek bloodless as mine, and I might apply to -myself, what Sterne said of his poor old monk, that nature had done with -its resentments. - -"I never injured any of those women," reflected I, with meek -resignation: "but God will be kinder to me and to my errors than they -are!" - -I offered all the little comforts in my power to Mrs. Butler, and then -my health obliged me to take my leave. As I passed close to the woman -into whose hands I had placed my pound-note, she smiled and curtsied -affectedly. I fixed my sunk eyes, for an instant on her face, and then -withdrew them, more in sorrow than in anger. - -I lingered thus for about two months, without any visible change in my -health or spirits, except that I grew weaker and thinner every day. All -the kindness which could be administered to a mind diseased I received -from my mother and sister Fanny. - -About this time the Duke of Argyle arrived from Scotland. He was, no -doubt, greatly shocked to see me so ill, although the cause of my -melancholy state of mind being known to him, did not either flatter or -interest him; more particularly as he had often himself remarked to me, -that he wondered any woman alive could resist Lord Ponsonby. - -I had always liked Argyle, and was glad to see him, and should have -indeed found much consolation in his society, but that he loved to -trifle with my distress, as it regarded Lord Ponsonby. - -"I have just dined with Ponsonby," said Argyle to me one night, "and -I never saw him look better. He showed me a letter, containing an -invitation from that nasty sister of yours, Amy, who wanted to have me -last year." - -That way madness lies: I could not listen to another word. I was rushing -past Argyle, when he detained me, frightened at the wildness of my looks. - -"It is all a joke you credulous little fool," said he, running after me. - -"I cannot run," said I, turning round, and panting for breath. "Pray, -pray, leave me now. You torture me by staying. Come this evening, and I -shall thank you for your visit." It was long before I could induce him -to leave me. - -The moment I was alone, I despatched the following note to Lord -Ponsonby. - - "I thank you that you renounced my prayers; for you thus - cured me of half my esteem. It was my fixed determination never - to intrude myself again on your attention; but the Duke of Argyle - has mentioned to me this morning my sister Amy having written to - you. Once more then, Ponsonby, I implore you, as you would save - me from self-destruction, satisfy my wretched mind in what cannot - injure Lady Ponsonby. Declare to me--nobody has or shall.... - Ponsonby, I am addressing you for the last time. Have mercy on the - dreadful agitation of my mind and answer me directly. You are quite - happy, Argyle says; and I in the very flower of my age am dying. - One line can relieve me perhaps from madness! Your watch, chain - and ring are sealed up. I could not look on them. I never shall - again. My poor eyes have looked their last on them and you; and I - shall never write to you again; therefore, God bless you. When age - shall overtake you, in some moment of affliction, perhaps you will - remember me and what I could have been to you. Adieu." - -I despatched my letter almost without hope. "If he could resist the -other," thought I, "this is more stupid, and less likely to affect him." - -The agitation Argyle's stay had occasioned produced an increase of -fever. Towards night I began to think seriously of dying, and not -without reason, being reduced to a mere skeleton, and having now been -afflicted with cough and extreme difficulty of respiration for almost -five months. There is a restlessness in all disorders of the mind, -which the sufferer imagines can be best relieved by exercise. About -nine o'clock, having read the New Testament for several hours, I felt -a strange desire to behold the outside of Lord Ponsonby's house once -again before I died. I had avoided passing within a mile of it since he -had left me, and this night I fancied something good would turn up from -going there, if I could but find strength to accomplish my design. To -have mentioned it to my housekeeper would have been at once to put it -out of the question. I really believe she would have locked me into my -room, while she had sent for my sister and Dr. Bain; therefore, getting -rid of her and of my footman, I gained a hackney-coach unobserved, and -was set down in Park Lane, very near Lord Ponsonby's house. It was a -fine mild evening, and the watchman was calling the hour of ten. I was -terribly afraid of him, and my breath failed me when I tried to hasten -out of his way. I wandered about till I could stand no longer, and, -with difficulty, contrived to obtain a seat on the steps of a large -portico-door. - -The atmosphere now began to threaten rain, which soon fell in torrents. -A poor shivering girl sought shelter by my side. She was coughing most -dreadfully, and her breath was still more oppressed than my own. "That -cough," thought I, "is not feigned, and perhaps this wretched creature -is thus nightly exposed to the inclement weather, to obtain existence -by the prostitution of her person to unfeeling and drunken strangers: -and what am I, that I should turn my back on a sister in affliction?" I -immediately inquired of her why she left her home with such a dreadful -cough. - -The poor creature turned her head towards me in much apparent surprise. -She was not beautiful, nor was she rouged, and her dress was rather neat -than tawdry. The set characters of death appeared to me to be stamped on -features which once had been very lovely. - -"I have no home," was the poor girl's answer. "I had half a bed, till -last night," added she, "but you see what I suffer, and, therefore, -being unable to obtain a single shilling, they have turned me into the -streets." - -"Dreadful! dreadful!" I ejaculated. "Good God! how could you ever -degrade yourself thus? What labour would not have been preferable at the -beginning!" - -The poor creature interrupted me with loud sobs, which produced such a -dreadful fit of coughing, I thought that she would have expired on the -spot. - -"Good heavens!" said I, "what is to be done? I am so very weak myself, -that I cannot help you or seek for a coach to carry us home; but, when -the watchman passes us, I will send him for one and take you with me, -and have you put into a warm bed and see you taken care of. When I -have done this, I do not think you will swear at me, or frighten me, -or ill-use me, will you?" added I, taking hold of her hand. "I am sure -you would not, you could not, nobody could if they knew but half how -wretched I am." - -The poor creature fell on her knees before me, and strove in vain to -express her gratitude, with wild incoherency. I never saw any one thus -affected. - -"My poor young woman," said I, exerting my strength to raise her, "you -must have met with very hard hearts to be thus surprised and overpowered -by a little common humanity towards a poor fellow creature in distress. -Pray be calm, that we may cure you and give you an opportunity of making -amends for your past life, by becoming a useful and respected member of -society." - -Before I could contrive to get the poor creature placed in a -hackney-coach, which the watchman procured, she had fainted, and was -still insensible when, at past one in the morning, I arrived at my own -house. - -My footman was at that instance setting off for my sister and Dr. Bain: -and my good housekeeper was in tears. - -"Do not agitate me," said I, "with your questions and all this bustle; I -am too ill to endure them; but this distressed object, whom I have met -with by mere accident, is worse than I am and more in want of your care. -Never mind who or what she is; but pray get her to bed, and see that she -has all she requires. Tell her I wish that I could attend her myself; -but I am not able." - -My good old servant, knowing well how contradiction always irritated me, -sent my housemaid to undress me, and hastened to obey my commands. - -In about an hour she returned to acquaint me that the poor young girl -had fallen asleep, completely worn out with fatigue. "Poor soul!" -continued my housekeeper, "she is not long for this world, I fear; yet -she is as gentle as a lamb, and nothing like a vulgar or a bad word -comes out of her mouth." - -My mind was a good deal relieved at this account of my protegee, and I -tried to compose myself to rest. It was not however till eight o'clock -in the morning that I could close my eyes; and at eleven I put on my -dressing-gown, and went to visit the poor invalid. By the first glance -on her emaciated countenance, I felt persuaded that nothing would save -her, though the poor young woman herself appeared very sanguine. - -"If it should please God, my dear lady, to spare me a little longer, -you shall never, never have to regret your great goodness. I have not -long led this dreadful life. It is scarcely two years ago, since I -lived as nursery-maid in a respectable family, where I was a great -favourite. There, madam, I became acquainted with a young tradesman, who -professed a desire to make me his wife. We kept company for nearly a -twelvemonth. He always told me he thought it would be prudent to delay -our marriage from day to day, as he was in hourly expectation of the -arrival of his father, whose consent he was sure of obtaining, although -he should have to dread his displeasure, were he to marry me without it. -At last, I discovered by the merest accident that this man had a wife, -to whom he had been married four years, as well as three fine young -children. I immediately left my place to avoid meeting him again. My -mistress strongly recommended me to a friend of her own, as nurse to her -infant daughter; but grief preyed so on my mind, that I could not give -satisfaction in my situation. - -"I was shortly afterwards afflicted with this terrible cough. To drown -the anguish of my mind I got into bad company, and, having lost my -character as well as my health, I have, for the last four months, been -reduced to eat the bread of sin. - -"I have been vainly trying to get into one of the hospitals, but there -are no hopes of that," said the poor creature, her tears falling fast -down her pale cheeks, "for they say that mine is an incurable disorder -which they do not want to be troubled with." - -"What unfeeling creatures," said I, "but do not fret, poor soul, or -despair. While there is life there is hope. If I cannot get you into a -hospital, where you shall have from me linen, tea, wine, and all you may -require, you shall be at least as well off in my house, so keep yourself -quiet. While I live and you do your duty you shall never want a friend; -and if we both die shortly, as may happen, let us hope that God will be -found an indulgent father, instead of a severe judge, and will receive -us into a better world." - -The poor creature absolutely seemed to forget her own severe sufferings, -while endeavouring to think of what would best relieve mine. - -In the course of the morning Dr. Bain prescribed for her, and promised -to bring me a letter for her admittance into St. George's Hospital. -On the next morning, when the poor creature was admitted into that -Institution, she fainted from excess of joy and gratitude. - -Soon after the departure of my protegee, my servant brought me a letter, -by the twopenny post; the handwriting was Lord Ponsonby's. Gracious -heavens, how my heart beat! I could not open it. I kissed it a thousand -times, placed it next my heart--thought I should never have found -courage to read it, and when I did at last in fear and trembling, for I -had begun to doubt the probability of any good happening to me on earth, -it was as follows--very short, and not particularly sweet. - - "Why, dearest, will you consider these things so seriously! - Upon my honour, upon my soul, I can say no, in reply to your - question: and you may tell the Duke of Argyle that he is mistaken - if he thinks me happy. Do you remember what I said to you at our - last meeting, and will you do me the justice to believe I did not - deceive you? Pray do. - - "Adieu, - "PONSONBY." - - -"Does this man love me!" thought I, half wild with the delightful idea, -"and shall we not meet again? Impossible! As friends, at least, we must, -shall meet, or I will die in the attempt." - -The letter gave me new life, I imagined myself cured. Gay visions of -departed happiness filled my imagination. I placed myself before the -glass, to contemplate the havoc which sickness and anxiety had made on -my features, and sighed heavily. "No matter!" vanity whispered, "I am -more interesting, though not half so brilliant"; and then I hoped he -would not love me less for the suffering his neglect had occasioned -me. This world, said I, is a blank without him. I have endeavoured and -prayed for tranquillity of mind in vain, during many long months, which -yet have brought me no consolation. Too well I know I must renounce him -as a lover; but for ever out of his sight I cannot exist, and longer -I will not. I will take him by surprise. I will wait for hours, days, -years at his door; but I will hear his voice once more. Shall I continue -to suffer thus for what his footmen, tradesmen and valet, enjoy freely -every day? - -I, who would sign my own death-warrant but once again to kiss the dear -hand which inscribed this beautiful little note! What have I done so -very wicked, that I may not ever again behold him? I will wait at his -door every night that I can ascertain he is from home, and, the first -time he happens to return on foot, I cannot fail to see him; and one -word he must say to me, if it is but to order me home. Something like -the man, who boasted of having been addressed by the Emperor Bonaparte: -"What did he say to you?" somebody asked. "_Va t'en coquin,_" answered -this true Christian. - -Well, then, to conclude, since I am sure my readers are growing as -tired of this dismal love-story as I am, I wandered nightly round Lord -Ponsonby's house, which I believe I have said was now at the corner of -Upper Brook Street, in Park Lane, for nearly a fortnight to no purpose. -He returned not before daylight, when I dared not show myself, or he -either came in his carriage, or had not left his house. The night air -so increased my cough, that, God knows where I found strength for these -wild nocturnal promenades; but love does wonders! I passed the whole day -coughing in bed, to obtain strength at least to die at his door: for I -had taken an oath to behold Ponsonby again or die in the attempt. - -One night, dread of observation from the watchman, or insult from the -passing strangers, made me parade slowly, on the opposite side of the -street, before his house. The moon was shining beautifully, at near one -in the morning. A magnificent, tall, elegant man, habited in black, -turned hastily round the corner from Park Lane, and knocked loudly -at Ponsonby's door. Could I be mistaken? I felt in every drop of my -thrilling blood, and at the bottom of my heart, that it was Ponsonby, -almost before I had caught a glimpse of him; and, darting across the -street, with the light swiftness of former times, alas! _ils etaient -passes, ces jours de fetes la_. A bar of iron across my chest seemed -to arrest my flight, and I was compelled to stand quite still for an -instant. That instant decided my fate. I obtained Ponsonby's dwelling as -the porter shut him out from my sight. The anguish of that moment I will -not attempt to describe. - -My mouth immediately filled with blood. Whether this was the effect of -mental suffering, or whether I had done myself an internal injury by -over-exertion, I know not: nor do I scarcely recollect how I happened -to find myself in a hackney-coach. All I know for certain as to the -adventures of that miserable night, is that I opened my eyes at five -in the morning to behold Dr. Bain and a surgeon, who was binding up my -arm to bleed me, my sister Fanny, in tears, and the Duke of Argyle, who -stood at the foot of my bed, consulting with Dr. Bain. I know not why -the kind, scarlet fever attacked me, in the midst of all my troubles; -but that was the disorder under which I suffered. - -I will not dwell on what I endured during a fortnight; indeed, as I was -so frequently delirious, I knew little about it. - -At the end of that time, however, my life was despaired of; but, in a -few days, the disorder took a favourable turn and, after lingering six -weeks, during which I had full time to reflect on all the follies I had -indulged in, and having for more than a week been desired by Dr. Bain -to prepare my mind for death, my late passion assumed the character of -madness. I considered Ponsonby's conduct towards myself and his wife -as equally heartless, and undeserved by all I had suffered for him. I -earnestly prayed that he might hereafter make his lady amends for the -former neglect I had occasioned her. I no longer desired to see him. -"I have suffered too much," I often thought to myself, "and will not -dwell on the occasion of it lest I lose sight of that charitable spirit -towards all mankind in which I hope to die. Were he now in that room -waiting to see me, I should desire him to return to his home and leave -me to die in peace." I hoped that God would not be as deaf to his last -prayers as he had been to mine. I sent his watch, chain and ring to Amy, -to do exactly what she pleased with. I never mentioned Lord Ponsonby -but once during my last illness; it was addressing Fanny,--"If ever you -meet with him, after my death, tell him that I forgave him: and, for his -wife's sake, as well as for his own, I prayed that God would mend his -heart; but that I felt no desire to see him, or to take my final leave -of him." - -During this severe illness, the Duke of Argyle was very attentive to -me. He was now the only man living for whom I felt the least interest. -My sister Amy knew this, as well as all my late suffering; yet I was -scarcely considered convalescent, when she made a desperate attack on -Argyle's heart, which he complained of to me in terms of strong disgust. -One night in particular before I had left my room, he came to me, after -the opera. - -"I have had a narrow escape," said Argyle. - -"From what?" I asked. - -"A rape!" was his reply. - -"Who then, in this land of plenty," said I, "is so very hard up?" - -"Your sister Amy," returned Argyle. "She asked me to see her to a coach; -then insisted on setting me down,--drove me, _bongre, malgre_, to her -house; and would make me walk upstairs and sup with her. I was as -obstinate as a stoic. 'Why, where are you going?' inquired your sister -Amy? 'To a sick relation of yours,' was my answer; at which Amy looked -like a fury, as she wished me a good night." - -"How you abuse her," said I. "Really you seem to have entirely forgotten -our relationship." - -"Why," added Argyle, "she sets me the example." - -I fought Amy's battles as long and as earnestly as though she had really -loved me, assuring Argyle that she was not bold and had been kind to but -very few lovers. - -Argyle, no doubt from all I said, began to think he had made a valuable -conquest, and, rather than the poor thing should die, and appear at -his bed-side afterwards, like unfortunate Miss Bailey, I suppose he -determined to look at her again the next time he met her. - -At that period, I believe he could have attached himself to me very -sincerely; more so than formerly. His old friend, Lady W----, was in a -very bad state of health, and was not expected to live. Argyle lamented -the prospect of her loss, with real friendship, and would have found -consolation in my society, but for my late desperate passion for -another, which however I should soon have overcome, now that all was -still and calm and quiet about the region of my heart. This calm was -heaven to a poor wretch who had undergone so much mental suffering. I -could not account for it; or rather, I could still less account for all -my former misery. - -As soon as I was able to converse, I inquired after my poor protegee, -at St. George's Hospital. My housekeeper informed me, that she still -lingered in a very hopeless state. The idea of dying without seeing me -again appeared to affect her much. I desired my housekeeper to carry her -everything she wanted, and to assure her that my very first visit should -be to her, the moment Dr. Bain would permit me to leave the house. That -very kind friend had so reasoned with me, about the sin and folly of -trifling as I had done hitherto with the blessings of health, that I -had passed my word to obey him in everything, on pain of incurring his -lasting displeasure. - -On the very first day I received permission to go out, while my carriage -was waiting at the door, I was shocked by a most melancholy scene. The -poor young creature from St. George's Hospital, having resisted the -persuasions and threats of the matrons, declaring that she would see me -before she died, drove up to my door in a hackney-coach literally in -the agonies of death! My landlord, who had just called for his rent, -hearing from my servants that a dying woman was come to me from the -hospital, declared that she should not enter his house. What was to be -done? We were all women and could not contend. My footman would have had -her brought in by force; but force was the very thing in which the most -particlerst man as is was most deficient. The poor creature held out her -hands, entreating me for the love of God not to send her away from me -in her last moments. The scene was indeed disgraceful to humanity and -I was very much affected by it; but how could I help it? The landlord -insisted she should not come in. There was no time to be lost, she must -go to the workhouse. - -"We will lose no time in contention with this unfeeling wretch," said I, -"but I will go with you to the workhouse, and nurse you." - -"God bless you! God bless you!" exclaimed the poor dying creature, -faintly. "I am not afraid of dying, while you are with me." - -I will not dwell on a scene, which even at this distant period I cannot -remember without shuddering. In less than an hour after my poor protegee -was placed on a miserable couch in Marylebone workhouse, she expired in -my arms, earnestly and piously recommending her soul to God.... - -My health suffered much from this shock, and it was more than a week -after the poor girl's death before I could again venture to leave the -house. My sister Fanny at last prevailed on me to go and pass the day -with her. There I met Julia, who had forgotten her constant swain, -Colonel Cotton, though he still appeared to adore her. She had fallen -madly in love with Sir Harry Mildmay, who, for a short time, seemed to -return her passion and was really attentive to her, till somebody at -Melton Mowbray asked him one day what the deuce he was doing with an -old woman who might be his mother! All the love Mildmay ever felt for -any daughter of Eve originated in vanity, and was fed and nourished by -vanity, therefore, I need not add, that he cut Julia from that hour, and -from that hour Julia's passion for him regularly increased; although it -was unmixed or unpurified by the least atom of affection. - -I inquired after Sophia, who had not been permitted to visit me because -the scarlet fever was considered infectious. She was still living in the -shabby, confined lodging Deerhurst had provided for her, and Deerhurst -also continued to provide her with currant wine and raisin wine! He saw -but little of her, and the less the better for the taste of Sophia, who -declared that water was by no means an indispensable requisite at that -nobleman's toilette. In short he was as much afraid of it as though he -had been bitten by a mad dog. - -I desire to know who consoled her for Deerhurst's dirtiness, and -Deerhurst's neglect, and was told by Fanny that Colonel Berkeley tried -hard to make himself agreeable, to which Julia added, "He is there from -morning till night." - -"And how does Sophia like him?" - -"She dislikes him particularly. Henry De Roos is less disagreeable to -her, I believe; but Sophia does not trouble her head for an instant -about any man; only she really does wish that Deerhurst would wash -himself a little more, and in particular his head." - -Fanny went on to say that somebody told him what Sophia said on the -subject, and Deerhurst, having accused her of circulating these stories -out of school, asked her if he was not remarkably nice in his person. - -"I think so," Sophia answered, "very nice indeed, I always said so." - -Being still very weak I left them early in the evening, and, passing by -Amy's door on my road home, I observed a carriage waiting, very like -the Duke of Argyle's. I could not possibly be in love with Argyle that -was very certain. I had of late given too many absurd proofs of love -for another; and yet I had never ceased to admire and like him. He had -lately been my sole friend, and his attention had promoted my recovery. -In short, my nerves had undergone a shock, which to this day I have not -recovered, nor ever have I enjoyed nor shall I, most probably, enjoy -another hour's health. - -At that time a mere nothing affected me. I hastily pulled the -check-string and requested my servant to inquire of the coachman -if that was really the equipage of His Grace. He was answered in -the affirmative. I am ashamed to confess how much and how long this -circumstance affected me. It was painful to my heart to acknowledge -a sister so unnatural, and it caused another relapse. Amy heard the -occasion of it and, sporting fine feelings, one fine morning after -having by my kind recommendation lived with Argyle more than a month and -become pregnant by him, she came suddenly into my room and, observing my -deathlike aspect, began to blubber downright. - -Hypocrisy was very disgusting to me. I had, in full, warm, sisterly -confidence introduced her to the duke and praised her to him, till I -changed his disgust into something like partiality: dressed her up in -my own elegant clothes, because hers were always as shabby as they were -showy, in the style of her black-pudding dinners and champagne suppers: -and she intruded herself into my house, warm from the embraces of my -lover, to show off tenderness! I experienced a sudden fit of rage almost -amounting to madness. - -"You disgusting, deceitful creature!" I exclaimed, locking her in my -room and taking out the key, "since you have forced your company on me -you shall repent it." I then looked round for some instrument to execute -vengeance! - -Readers, can you conceive anything half so monstrous, half so ruinous to -black-pudding men, so destructive to the rising generation? - -I was just thinking about killing her! - -Amy opened the window, and called out to a boy in the street, that a -wicked woman who was no better than she should be had locked her in. - -"I shouldn't wonder," answered the boy, laughing and running away, "a -pair of you, no doubt!" - -I, by this time, was heartily ashamed of having been thus surprised into -temporary madness, owing to the extreme irritability of my nerves. - -"Go out of the house," said I, "for God's sake; there is something too -indelicate and disgusting in your pity. You are very welcome to live -with Argyle, if you can endure the idea. I certainly felt the loss of a -friend, in my present low nervous state; but His Grace knows well that -I have been in love with another for the last three years, one on whom -your soft circular effusions made not the slightest impression, unless -of disgust." - -I hastened out of the room and locked myself in my bed-chamber. Amy's -visit, I afterwards found, was in consequence of the anxiety Argyle had -expressed concerning my health, and Amy guessed that she must show off -sisterly affection, or Argyle would dislike her! - -The next day Argyle visited me. He was very melancholy, and had scarcely -shaved since Lady W----'s death, which had lately taken place. He -reminded me that, when he dearly loved me, I never _genee'd_ myself or -him; that he was now unhappy and could have devoted himself to me; but -that he saw no hopes of a steady return. - -"Yes! but then a sister!" said I; "the idea to me is so disgusting--but -do not let us dwell on it, I forgive anything in your conduct which -has caused me pain, and destroyed the possibility of our ever being -more than friends for the rest of our lives:--and yet I trust we shall -never be less. A very trifle affects me now; so do not be too vain, nor -attribute to sentiment what is due to the scarlet fever. You believed -me incapable of steady regard; because I did not fix my undivided -affections on you, after I had learned, from your own letter, now in my -possession, that you could not be wholly mine. Is that fair, or rather -are not you a terrible coxcomb, master Argyle? - -"Apropos, for here must end all sentiment between us, so, to talk of -something else, Mr. Colman accuses you of having cut him dead in the -Park yesterday when he bowed to you." - -"What a vulgar fellow!" Argyle remarked. - -"Why vulgar?" - -"It is a vulgar idea, and one which certainly never occurred to me; not -because I happen to be Duke of Argyle; for a private gentleman's rank -in society is the same as mine; therefore what right have I to cut him? -or what right would any duke have to cut a private gentleman? If a man -does not return my bow I take it for granted he is absent, or not in the -humour, or thinking of something else. Tell Mr. Colman he is an ass, my -dear pretty----" - -"Argyle!" interrupted I, "no more dear prettys, if you please. I have -left off being pretty; but thank God I am heartwhole, and propose -remaining so to the end of my natural life. Nevertheless, whatever the -cause may be, I am truly sorry to see you so changed, and so melancholy." - -"Thank you," returned Argyle, sighing. "Then oblige me, and don't tell -anybody in the world that I am unhappy." - -His Grace seemed to leave me with regret. I did not invite him to repeat -his visit. - -My health soon after this began to improve rapidly. My late fever seemed -to have carried away all the oppression on my chest, except what was the -mere effect of debility. - -I took an early opportunity of paying Sophia a visit, and I had scarcely -time to inquire after that young lady's _petite societe_, before Colonel -Berkeley was announced. It was in the evening, at about eight o'clock. -He was very lively and agreeable, which I think was generally the case -with him. The man bears an indifferent character and, perhaps, with some -reason; but I have always seen him pleasant, and I never knew or heard -of his breaking his word. His fancy for Sophia did not prevent his being -polite and attentive to me, as often happens with ill-bred young men of -the present day. - -In less than half an hour after Colonel Berkeley's arrival in bounced -Lord Deerhurst, in an agony of tears! - -"Oh Sophy! Sophy!" exclaimed his lordship, blubbering and wiping his -eyes with a very dirty, little, old, red pocket-handkerchief--"Oh Sophy, -I never thought you would have used me in this way!" - -Sophy declared herself innocent, which was indeed the fact as far as -regarded Colonel Berkeley. - -"I cannot bear it," continued Deerhurst, rushing out of the room, like -the strolling representative of a tragic king in a barn, and, seating -himself on the stairs, near the street-door, to sob and blubber more at -his ease. - -Colonel Berkeley looked at his lordship in utter astonishment, -exclaiming, "My good fellow, what the devil is the matter?" - -"Why! did you not--" he paused. - -"Did he not what?" I asked. - -"Oh, Lord! oh, dear!" roared out Deerhurst. - -"Don't take on so, my lord," interposed Sophia's fat landlady, offering -his lordship a glass of water. - -Deerhurst accepted it with apparent gratitude, as though quite subdued. - -"Could you have believed it, madam?" said he. "Did you believe that -young creature was so depraved?" - -"What do you mean by depraved?" I asked. "Why I can answer for it, -Sophia has never given Colonel Berkeley the slightest encouragement, and -beyond a mere yes or no she never opens her lips to him." - -"Oh! don't tell me! don't tell me!" still blubbered his lordship, the -big tears rolling down his cheeks. - -"This is incredibly astonishing!" ejaculated Colonel Berkeley, in a very -natural tone of surprise. - -"What is incredibly astonishing?" I asked. "I am determined to -understand this. In fact, I think I have guessed already. Lord -Deerhurst, by the restoration of his annuity, will put two hundred -pounds a year into his pocket on Sophia's first act of infidelity. You -are his friend, and have done nothing but express your astonishment at -his lordship's tears and apparent jealousy ever since he came blubbering -into the room; therefore, since his arrival so quickly succeeded -yours, I will lay my life you two desperate _mauvais sujets_ came here -together!" - -"Nonsense!" replied Colonel Berkeley, laughing. - -"I am now sure of it," added I. - -Colonel Berkeley slily nodded assent to my remark. - -Deerhurst was smelling a bottle of hartshorn, which Sophia's landlady -held fast to the end of his nose. Berkeley addressed Sophia in a -whisper. Deerhurst jumped up like a madman, and was leaving the room. - -"My good fellow," said the colonel, taking Lord Deerhurst by the arm, -for this excellent acting had really deceived even Berkeley himself, -whom his lordship had brought to Sophia's door in his own carriage for -the express purpose of taking her off his hands, "if you really are -annoyed at my visit, if you have changed your mind--only say so, and I -give you my word I will not call on Sophia again. Be a man! don't make -this noise and bellowing; but tell me frankly what you wish. You and I -are old friends." - -Deerhurst said that his feelings were wounded and his heartstrings -cracked; therefore he must go home and get them mended: and he darted -out of the house. - -"What the deuce can all this mean?" said Berkeley. "The man really is -unhappy. I must go after him." - -"Take me with you," I said, "just to gratify my curiosity." - -"With all my heart," replied Berkeley, "if my carriage is at the door." - -"Did not you drive here in it?" - -"No," whispered he, "Deerhurst brought me with him, and I desired my -coachman to follow, with my _vis-a-vis._" - -We found it at the door, and were set down at Lord Deerhurst's house in -Half Moon Street. - -We were shown into the drawing-room, where, after waiting about five -minutes, his lordship half-opened the door of his bedroom, which was the -one adjoining, and showed us such a merry looking face, _qu'il n'etait -plus reconnaissable._ - -"Glad to see you both," said his lordship, wiping his hands with a -very dirty towel. "Will you come in? But you must excuse the disorder. -You know it is a mere bachelor's room," continued he, lighting a -long tallow-candle by a short piece, which was burning in a broken -candlestick. - -"Why don't you ride and tye regularly with your two muttons," said I, -"when you want to be economical? and then no one would know they had -not been allowed to burn on together with an equal flame like you and -Sophia." - -"Oh Lord!" said Deerhurst, laughing, "I can't cry any more at this -moment, for I have just washed my face." - -"But seriously," Colonel Berkeley observed, "I have followed you -because, upon my soul, I do not understand you. I want to know whether -my attentions to Sophia are really disagreeable; for I don't see how a -man could command so many tears to flow at pleasure." - -"Oh! there was a boy at Westminster could cry a great deal better than I -can," said Deerhurst. - -"I won't believe you," retorted Berkeley, laughing, "unless you'll sit -down on that chair and favour me with another cry: and first ring for -some proper candles, will you? How came those stinking butchers' candles -in your room?" - -"Bachelor, you know, bachelor!" said Deerhurst, grinning. - -"What the devil has that to do with it?" exclaimed Berkeley. - -Deerhurst excused himself, declaring that tears, even sham ones, must be -spontaneous: "And yet," said he, sinking into an arm-chair, and again -taking out the selfsame dirty, little, red, calico pocket-handkerchief, -"and yet, though I appear a wild, profligate, hardened young man, I -never think of that sweet girl Sophia without its bringing tears into my -eyes:" and he blubbered aloud, and again the big tears rolled down his -cheeks. - -"This would melt a heart of stone," I observed, putting on my cloak, "so -I am off." - -"What! won't you have any more?" said Deerhurst, jumping up and -laughing. - -"Capital!" exclaimed Berkeley, taking up his hat. - -"Why, you are not going to trust yourself in that rake's carriage -alone?" said Deerhurst to me. - -"I am afraid there is no danger," answered I. - -"Some of the most virtuous ladies in England have been attacked by the -gay colonel until they have called out murder; and two of them lost -their diamond brooches coming from the Opera, before they could get hold -of the check-string----" - -"Or cry out, stop thief!" added I. "For my part I have more reasons than -one for believing the colonel to be very harmless in a carriage, or I -should not have ventured. I, too, have heard of his gallant feats of -prowess in chariots and _vis-a-vis!_ but I will tell you a story:--There -was a pretty, elegant Frenchwoman joined my party one night after the -Opera, and explained to me the mere accident which threw her on my -charity for a safe conveyance home. I had already Fanny, Julia, and -little Fanny, as we called my young niece, to carry home, and only a -chariot. What was to be done? The rain fell in torrents. It was on a -Tuesday night, and there was nobody in the round room that anybody knew, -as that fool of a Brummell used to say, except Colonel Berkeley, who -joined us immediately. In spite of the most prolific account I had heard -of the gay colonel, I considered my friend old enough to take care of -herself: and, as to sending her three miles in such a costume, at such -an hour, and in such weather, the thing was out of the question: so I -told Berkeley that I must intrude on his politeness to set my friend -down. 'To oblige you, with great pleasure,' was his prompt reply, before -he had even looked in the face of the young Frenchwoman, to whom I -presented him, when he assured her his coachman waited for her commands. - -"The next morning I made it a point to call and inquire after -madame's health. She thanked me for having procured her so polite an -acquaintance. 'I hope he was polite,' said I, 'for, to tell you the -truth, I very unwillingly placed you under his protection.' 'Why?' -asked my friend. 'To be frank with you,' I replied, 'Colonel Berkeley -is said to be such a terrible fellow that no woman can safely remain a -single instant _tete-a-tete_ with him, particularly in a carriage. I -understand he attacks both old and young, virtuous and wicked, handsome -and ugly, maid, wife and widow.' - -"'And sal I be de only exception?' asked the Frenchwoman, in real dismay. - -"'What then,' I inquired, in astonishment, 'are you sorry he was not -impudent to you?' 'I do not conceive what you have told me, impudence,' -continued the Frenchwoman, '_nous prenons cela autrement, en France_. -De only impudence vat I sal never forgive, is dat Colonel Berkeley have -presumed to make me de exception and, if I ever meet him in de street, -_je lui cracherai au nez._' - -"'_Non pas! non pas!_' rejoined I, 'you are too pretty to have been an -exception. It is a mere false character they have given the colonel, -or may be he set it about himself. For my part, I will take the first -opportunity of getting into his carriage, in order to convince you of -another exception, that you may hold up your head with the best of us.'" -This night has already proved I was right. - -"Oh, Lord, what a falling off is here!" said Deerhurst to Berkeley. - -"I had no desire for your Frenchwoman," replied the colonel, "and, as -for you, if you would not fall in love with me some time ago, when I was -your very humble servant, what chance had I after you had seen me making -love to Sophia? Besides my poor brother Augustus is going mad for you, -Harriette, and, apropos of him, you really treat him very ill." - -"I mean to have that young gentleman confined to a madhouse," said I, -"if he conducts himself in such a strange way again as he did last -Saturday; throwing himself on his knees in my box, and acting his -Cheltenham-tragedies at the opera." - -"He is very handsome," Deerhurst observed. - -"A mere ruffian!" I retorted. - -"Do not be so severe on poor Augustus," said Colonel Berkeley, who was -always the most affectionate brother I ever met with in my life. "He -is a sailor, you know, and upon my honour he is very fond of you. I -want you and Sophia to favour me with your company to dine at Richmond -on Monday, and, if you will trust yourself to my care, I will drive my -barouche." - -"Willingly," answered I. - -"But this is not all," continued the Colonel. "I am commissioned to -intercede for Augustus." - -"I am off then," said I, "for your brother is much too rude for my -present state of health, and would I know tease me into a fever." - -"Upon my word," said Berkeley, "I can make him do just what I please, -and I have only interceded for him after receiving his promise not to -say or do anything that can possibly offend." - -The engagement was concluded for Monday, and Deerhurst begged to be of -our party. - -"No more of your rural fighting parties for me," I hastily observed, -"and I neither like eggs and bacon nor pot-houses to eat my dinner in." - -"No!" said Berkeley, laughing heartily, "did he really give you eggs and -bacon for dinner?" - -"And in the dog-days too!" continued I. - -We then took our leave, and Colonel Berkeley set me down at my own door -in perfect safety. - - - - -CHAPTER X - - -The next day I dined with Julia, Fanny was of the party. Julia was -raving about Sir Henry Mildmay, by whom she professed to be pregnant. -The shy Julia gloried in this _faux pas_. - -"What mortal could have resisted such an angel!" exclaimed Julia. - -"And Cotton?" added I. - -"By your advice," replied Julia, "I have refused to receive him but as a -friend." - -"Certainly," said I; "I do think it wicked to put ourselves in the way -of increasing a large family of children, only to starve them. You are -the mother of six already, which is five more than your slender fortune -can support." - -"I shall have seven thousand a year at the death of my brother, who is -in a decline," said Julia, whose eyes were very red as though she had -been weeping. - -To my inquiry, "What was the matter?" Fanny answered, "That the foolish -creature had done nothing but shed tears from morning till night." - -"If I could only once more have Mildmay in my arms," said Julia, "I -should have lived long enough." - -"And who is to protect Mildmay's child?" I asked. - -"I would rather die than apply to him for money," answered Julia; "but -my poor child will never see the light," and she burst into tears, -"unless I see its beautiful father once more." - -"Will once do?" I asked. - -"I would be patient and resigned if I could kiss his heavenly eyes once -more." - -"_Et puis?_" said Fanny. - -"_Sans doute! ca va sans dire_," added Julia. - -"_Pas toujours_," I remarked however, giving my hand to Julia, "there is -my hand on it, it shall be done, ma'am, and before this week is out, we -pledge to you our royal word!" - -Strange to say, this promise satisfied Julia, who immediately dried up -her tears. - -After dinner, a young member of Parliament, of immense fortune, brought -his carriage for Fanny. He was a Hampshire gentleman, of the name of -Napier, who had been lately very attentive to her; but Fanny did not -like him. He was a long-backed youth, with very fine eyes, and that was -all: a sort of home-bred young man, not ungentlemanlike but wanting tact -and spirit. - -Soon after his arrival Fanny took me out of the room and asked me how I -liked him. - -"Oh! not in the least," I answered. - -"I wish," said Fanny, "he would attach himself to poor Julia: her -children and her debts and her natural turn for extravagance will send -her to a prison, unless a rich man like this would take her under his -protection. Now, as I am determined not to have him myself I have left -them together, that he may draw her into conversation, and find out the -truth of her being one of the most elegant women in England." - -"You are very good," said I, laughing. - -"What else can be done?" Fanny asked. "If Julia goes to prison, she will -immediately destroy herself; and how easily this Napier, who has more -than twenty thousand a year, can assist her and pay off all her debts, -seeing that he lives on three thousand, and possesses in hard cash at -his banker's more than a hundred thousand pounds." - -"Oh! the vile, stingy monster!" said I, "where did he spring from?" - -"From Oxford College," answered Fanny; "but his estates are in Ireland." - -When we returned to the drawing-room, Napier did seem to have fallen -in love with Julia's manner, and to be delighted with her conversation. -However, he soon placed himself by Fanny's side, to make as much love as -usual. "This is very poor sort of amusement for me, ladies," said I, "so -I shall wish you all a very good night." - -Fanny declared that she would accompany me. - -Napier called her a coquette, and a false deceiver, reminding her of her -promise to allow him to see her home. - -"Cannot help it," answered Fanny, kissing her hand to him, and hurrying -downstairs. - -Napier offered me his arm, to follow, and Julia held up her finger -significantly to me, saying, "Remember." - -"_Oui, oui_," was my reply; and, after Napier had handed us into our -carriage, we requested him to return and chat with Julia. "A niece of -Lord Carysfort," added I, "daughter to a maid of honour, the Honourable -Mrs. Storer, and the most graceful creature breathing." - -"Why," said Fanny, bursting out into a loud laugh, "Harriette, that -madman with his placard and his challenge to all the world about -Bayley's blacking, in Piccadilly, is a fool to you." - -"Never mind," I answered, "so that we can but get her off, and save her -from a prison." - -Before the carriage drove from the door, we had the satisfaction of -seeing Napier return to Julia--_et puis--et puis_--but I will tell what -happened some other time. - -On our way home Fanny told me how irregularly her allowance from the -late Mr. Woodcock was paid, and that her boy George's schoolmaster had -been dunning her for money due to him, which she could not pay. - -"How good you are then," said I, "to make over your rich conquest to -Julia." - -"There is no goodness in that," answered Fanny, whose heart was so very -warm, that she was always afraid of incurring ridicule from the extreme -of a good thing; "for if Julia had never been born I am sure I could not -have endured that long-backed, amorous-looking Napier; besides every one -must pity poor Julia, deserted as she is!" - -"But then this stupid Mildmay, whose character was so well known to -her! what had she to expect from him, who has never in his life been -suspected of constancy for a single week!" - -"And yet," said Fanny, "I really, myself, believed he loved Julia. You -have no idea how attentive he had been to her during your last illness, -from which, thank God! you are happily recovering," added Fanny. "I have -not seen you look so like yourself for the last twelve months." - -"I am better," answered I, "and yet, life is dull without affection, -and all my bright illusions are destroyed for ever; but I have most -pleasure now when I can make myself a little useful; so you must let me -take George off your hands. I am richer than you are, I will therefore -pay his schoolmaster, and you must send him to me to-morrow. When his -holidays are expired, I will myself take him back to school." - -Fanny said I was very good, and I answered "fiddlestick!" as I set her -down at her own house. - - * * * * * - -My mind was now a complete blank. My imagination was exhausted; my -castle had fallen to the ground and I never expected to rebuild it; for -even my cool judgment told me that Ponsonbys were not often to be met -with. - -I had no fancy for going down hill, so I bought a great many books and -determined to make them my object. I lived very retired, and when I did -go out or admit company it was more because I was teased into it than -from any pleasure I found in society. - -Little George Woodcock came to me the next morning, and before the -week was out he had broken open my jewel-box, stolen my money, kissed -my housemaid, and half-killed my footman. I looked forward with much -anxiety to the period for taking him back to school. His schoolmaster -was an old Frenchman who lived at Leytonstone. Julia's three sons and my -nephew had boarded with him four years. - -"Mastaire Johnstones know very vell," said the old Frenchman, when, -at the beginning of the holidays, he had called on Fanny to make his -compliments of her son and heir, "de young Mastaire Johnstones know very -well, dat I always tell de boys dat dey must larne; but for Mastaire -Woodcock, it is de boy of my school! Some time I lose him six, seven -hours, and, at last, I find him at de top of von apple-tree! Den as for -boxing, he is box! box! two, tree, six time in a day. I believe very -soon, he will box me!" - -Fanny promised to give him good advice, and the old French schoolmaster -took his leave, after declaring that if young Woodcock continued to -be de boy of his school for the next quarter, he must be under the -necessity to turn him out of it. - -Luttrell called on me the following day, and was greatly amused with the -engagement which I told him I had entered into with Julia. He informed -me that Fred Lamb was arrived from the court of somewhere, I think -Sicily, and had expressed a very strong desire to be allowed to visit me. - -"Tell him," said I, "that I am worn out, and tired of the world, and -good for nothing." - -Luttrell, being our father-confessor general, to whom we all related -everything, I asked him if he knew how Napier's _tete-a-tete_ with Julia -went off. - -"Oh, I have just left the enemy," answered Luttrell, alluding to Amy, -"who told me that Napier had made a violent attack on the virtue of Lord -Carysfort's niece, in consequence of my flourishing panegyric, which had -only served to prove her adamant to all but Sir Henry Mildmay." - -"Apropos of that gay baronet," said I, opening my writing desk, "such -virtue as you describe in this fair daughter of a maid of honour must -not go unrewarded;" and I wrote a polite note to Mildmay, desiring him -to call upon me in the evening. - -Soon after Luttrell had taken his leave, old Smith the haberdasher was -announced, with more returned bills. - -"Angels defend us!" said I, "what am I to say to him this time?" I -looked in the glass, settled my headdress as becomingly as possible, and -trusted to my charms and soft speeches for subduing his anger as usual. - -As I entered I caught a full view of my friend Smith in the glass; he -was pacing the room with sturdy firmness, as though preparing himself -for a desperate attack. His brow was knit, and, in his hand he held the -fatal black pocket-book which I had no doubt contained my bills, six -or seven times returned on his hands. "_Avec tout mon savoir faire, -je craignais de ratter le procureur_," as Laura says in _Gil Blas_; -I therefore returned to my bedroom unseen, and desired my faithful -housekeeper, Mrs. Kennedy, to declare that her mistress had been seized -with a fit on her way downstairs, and that, during the last attack of -this sort, with which she had been afflicted, she had actually bitten -her nurse's thumb clean off. - -"Will you like to step up and see her?" added Kennedy. - -"No, no, I thank you," answered Smith, putting on a pair of his thickest -beaver gloves as though to defend his thumbs. "Some other time if you -please. My compliments:" and he was hurrying away. - -"You will oblige me by stepping upstairs," said Kennedy, "as I really -am frightened out of my wits; and Miss Wilson requires at least three -persons to hold her when in these fits, and our William is just gone out -with a letter to Sir Henry Mildmay's." - -"Very sorry to hear it," replied Smith running downstairs. "I regret -that I have such a particular engagement that I cannot stay another -instant," and he immediately gained the street-door, which he took care -to fasten safely, as soon as he was on what he now conceived the right -side of it. - -In the evening, Mildmay arrived at the hour I had appointed, believing -no doubt, that the poor tender soul, Harriette Wilson, would not survive -his neglect. He was proceeding in a very summary way to practical -love-making---- - -"_Attendez, un instant, mon ange!_" said I. "I am Julia's friend; -besides, I have no opinion of you." - -"In what way?" - -"In the way you wish to shine! I believe you to be cold, and I hate cold -men." - -"Try me," answered Mildmay. - -"_Je ne demande pas mieux_. Give me the proof I am going to ask, of your -real genuine ardour, and I shall hereafter look up to you as something -superior to the rest of mankind." - -"Explain!" said Sir Henry. - -"Well then, there is Julia, of whom I know you are completely tired. -Only enable her to praise you to me to-morrow evening, and I think I -shall not be able to resist you." - -"Will you promise?" Mildmay asked. - -"What is the use of a promise to such a beautiful creature as you, who -know yourself to be irresistible." - -Mildmay looked pleased. I made him sing to me; and I must really have -been very deficient in good taste if I had not expressed my admiration -of the sweetness of his voice and expression. When I had completely -flattered and praised him into excellent temper, I made him promise to -visit Julia by two the next day. - -"Shall I find you there?" Mildmay inquired, "and will you give me a -kiss? otherwise, upon my honour, with the best possible intention to -distinguish myself I am afraid." - -"Perhaps," said I, "you may find me with her; but at all events -recollect that you did like poor Julia, and that I never to the day -of my death will forgive you or speak to you if you do not fulfil your -promise to-morrow morning." - -"You treat me very ill," said Mildmay, "and yet, I suppose, you must -be obliged. Only mind you must promise me there shall not be a scene -between Julia and me. I cannot stand scenes, remember!" - -"I was in hopes there would be act the fourth," retorted I; "but, -seriously, what do you understand by a scene?" - -"Reproaches and hysterics, and all that sort of thing," answered -Mildmay. "Do tell Julia it will be of no use, but to spoil the moment, -there is a dear creature." - -"Poor Julia!" I retorted. "Only recollect her situation, and pray, if -you ever wish me to admire or like you do not be so very unfeeling." - -"Yes, I have heard all, and a pretty piece of business it is -altogether," said Mildmay, evidently much annoyed by it. - -I refused to part with him till he had most faithfully promised -punctually at two the next morning. As soon as he was gone I despatched -the following note; - - "DEAR JULIA,--"Sir H. Mildmay has this morning given me his - word and honour, on pain of my everlasting displeasure, that - he will attend your moderate commands to-morrow exactly at two - o'clock, on condition that you do not give him a scene. Make my - excuses to him for not joining you both. I dislike to be second - fiddle of all things. - - "God bless you." - - - - -CHAPTER XI - - -The next day, the one fixed on by Colonel Berkeley for our trip to -Richmond, Sophia and the Colonel called for me at twelve o'clock, -accompanied by that young savage, Augustus Berkeley, who appeared to be -perfectly well-behaved in the presence of his brother, quite mild and -humbled. - -Sophia said it was a charming day. - -"The atmosphere," I observed, "is heavy, I think, and unhealthy." - -"Oh, quite shocking," Sophia immediately replied, "I am absolutely ill -with it already." - -We drove down to Richmond as fast as four high bred horses could -carry us, and Colonel Berkeley, having ordered a dinner as much too -ostentatiously extravagant as Deerhurst's rural fete had been too -scanty, proposed our rowing down the river for half an hour, while it -was getting ready. - -Augustus, at the word of command, took off his coat and waistcoat and -began rowing, while Berkeley was all attention to us. - -"How delicious this is," said the Colonel. - -"I never saw anything so beautiful," echoed Sophia. - -I remarked that I was a little giddy. - -"So am I," said Sophia, "very giddy indeed." - -In less than an hour, I mentioned that the air of the river had given me -an appetite, and Sophia, of course, had never been so hungry in all her -life! - -Colonel Berkeley on landing astonished the two boatmen by throwing them -a five-pound note! The innkeeper entertained us in his best and most -magnificent style. We conversed a great deal, for Colonel Berkeley can -talk, which is not always the case nor considered at all a necessary -accomplishment in gentlemen of the present day. There are in fact -various kinds of gentlemen. A man is a gentleman, according to Berkeley -Craven's definition of the word, who has no visible means of gaining -his livelihood; others have called Lord Deerhurst and Lord Barrymore -and Lord Stair gentlemen, because they are Lords; and the system at -White's Club, the members of which are all choice gentlemen of course, -is and ever has been never to blackball any man who ties a good knot in -his handkerchief, keeps his hands out of his breeches-pockets, and says -nothing. For my part, I confess I like a man who can talk and contribute -to the amusement of whatever society he may be placed in; and that -is the reason I am always glad to find myself in the company of Lord -Hertford, notwithstanding he is so often blackballed at White's. - -Colonel Berkeley and I conversed on many subjects; but there was one -which was a favourite with us both--plays. Berkeley was mad for acting -Shakespeare's plays, I for reading them. We were both lost in wonder -as to how the poet, or any one man breathing, could have acquired -such a perfect knowledge of human nature, in every class of society, -in every gradation from kings downwards. I however pointed out one -exception, remarking that I did not conceive, from the little I had -seen or heard of Jews, that Shylock was at all a natural character or -accurately drawn. "I never in my life," I continued, "remember having -heard of a Jew being hanged for murder! The Mosaic laws are less pure -than ours; but they are more strictly followed. The most malicious Jew -dares not shed blood, his strong fear of God prevents it; and that -fear is religion. In short, such, I have heard, is the superstitious -fear a Jew entertains of shedding blood, that even if he had made his -mind up to take the life of a Christian, it would yet be accomplished -without a drop of blood being spilt. I cannot with my very confined -knowledge of these things venture to say that Jews have not been -occasionally executed for murder; but I can almost venture to assert -that blood-shedding is far from the characteristic vice of a Jew; and -therefore is Shylock unnaturally drawn." - -"Recollect," returned Colonel Berkeley, "that Shylock is a Venetian Jew." - -I went on--"And shall we attribute to these poor wanderers the peculiar -crimes of every nation which may happen to give them birth, adding these -to all the characteristic vices of their tribe? If the mere climate made -a Venetian of Shylock, why does Shakespeare point at him as an usurer? -If climate and example have no effect to make the Hebrew waver in his -faith, is it charitable to suppose them more potent in tending to deaden -the fear and horror of bloodshed in the mind of a poor Jew?" - -"Bravo!" said Colonel Berkeley, "very ingeniously argued. There's a -cunning Israelite at the bottom of all this, who has won your heart." - -Sophia, for once in her life, ventured to be of a different opinion from -her company, remarking that she was sure her sister Harriette could -not love any of those nasty men, with long dirty beards and dirty old -clothes on their backs. - -"I thank heaven," said I, "that I love no man; Jew, Christian, or Turk." - -"Why defend those nasty fellows then?" asked Augustus. - -"Did you ever know any good of one of them?" said the colonel. - -"A Jew, named Town," answered I, "a painter, who keeps a shop in -Bond-street, went down to Newcastle about five years ago, to sketch -views in that country. One morning he observed a lad driving his cattle -along a field whose countenance particularly struck him. His was a true -Roman head. The boy was about twelve years of age. The Jew called to him -and asked him if he would stand still while he took his picture. The -youth consented with good-nature; but, after having stood stock still -for a quarter of an hour, he declared that he could not bear it any -longer. Mr. Town asked him many questions, and, being much surprised -with the boy's sensible replies, inquired if he would like to go up to -London with him. The lad hesitated. - -"'You will not trust yourself with me then?' said the Jew. 'I would go -anywhere with you, sir; but my poor father and mother are so old.' The -Jew requested to be made known to them, and was conducted to a wretched -hovel where the ancient pair resided. They immediately consented to -place their child under the Jew-protector, and the next morning the -Israelite and his young protege were on their road to London. On -their arrival the Jew clothed the boy handsomely and instructed him -in the first rudiments of his art. Before the child had received a -dozen lessons, Mr. Town foretold that he would excel as a painter: -he therefore bound him apprentice for seven years to himself, and -stipulated to allow him ten shillings a week pocket-money for the first -two years, and then to go on doubling that sum every second year to the -end of his apprenticeship. The progress the youth made astonished the -Jew. The child excelled most particularly in landscape-painting. Bred -in the country, he had attentively observed the effect of lightning -on trees and cattle. His gratitude to his kind benefactor knew no -bounds, and his industry was indefatigable. Mr. Town, fearing lest from -inexperience the poor lad might be led astray or fall into bad company, -instead of sending him to school engaged masters in the house, to -instruct him in reading and writing. His progress in these was almost -equal to that he had made in drawing. He became the delight and comfort -of Mr. Town's aged father, on whom he was never tired of attending, he -would read to him for hours together, and be grateful for the task. - -"One day the Jew sent his protege into the country to take a sketch of -some willow trees, and was surprised to see him return in tears. 'What -is the matter my poor fellow?' said the Jew. 'That brook, near which I -have been sitting to sketch these trees, sir, reminded me so much of -one near my poor mother's hut,' answered the lad. 'You shall go down to -Newcastle, and pay a visit to your parents', said the benevolent Jew, -'and it shall not cost you one shilling, so prepare yourself to depart -by the coach next week.' The boy shed tears of gratitude. - -"On the day previous to his departure for Newcastle, he said he wished -to ask a favour of his kind master's only sister; but feared it might -be deemed impertinent. Being encouraged to proceed--'Why, sir,' said -the lad, 'your great goodness has left me nothing to desire since the -first instant I entered your house; therefore, out of the allowance -of pocket-money you have made me I have saved up eleven pounds, which -I hope your sister will condescend to lay out for me in blankets and -various other articles of comfort, which I am desirous of carrying down -to my poor old parents.' The Jew gladly promised to prevail on his -sister to do whatever he wished, and moreover assured the affectionate -lad that he should be allowed to make a yearly visit to his parents as -long as they lived, and always at his expense. 'Tell your parents that, -though a Jew myself, I have not presumed to interfere with your former -mode of worship; but, on the contrary, have made you regularly attend -the service of the Church of England, ever since you left them.'" - -Sophia was very much pleased with the story of the Newcastle -shepherd-boy, and declared that she would go and see him. - -Augustus thought he would play Romeo delightfully; but the colonel said -the part of Douglas would suit him best. - -I, by this time, conceived I had talked quite enough for one evening. I -therefore endeavoured with all my might to call Sophia out, and draw her -into some kind of conversation. - -Berkeley was beginning to think himself trifled with, and, being -naturally a little abrupt in such cases, he told her flatly that if she -meant to refuse him after all, she ought not to have admitted him so -often. - -Sophia continued to hint, with proper delicacy and due modest blushes, -that her living with him or not must depend on what his intentions were: -in other words, she gently intimated that as yet she was ignorant what -settlement he meant to make on her. The gay handsome Colonel Berkeley's -vanity being now so deeply wounded, he in his sudden rage entirely lost -sight of what was due to the soft sex, at least to that part of it which -had been so hard upon him. - -"Do you fancy me then so humble and so void of taste as to buy with -my money the reluctant embraces of any woman breathing? Do you -think I cannot find friends who have proved their affection by the -sacrifices they have made for me, that I should give my money to buy -the cold-blooded being who calculates at fifteen years of age what the -prostitution of her person ought to sell for?" - -Sophia was frightened and shed tears. - -"Colonel Berkeley," said I, "we are your visitors and wish to retire -immediately from such unmanly insult as you have offered to us. Will you -procure us some safe conveyance? No matter what." - -Colonel Berkeley immediately begged pardon with much apparent humility, -saying, "I am a passionate, ill-tempered, spoiled fellow, and must -throw myself on your charity; or if you prefer it my carriage is at the -service of you both, and neither I nor my brother shall intrude without -your permission." - -I shook hands with him, as did Sophia, and little more was said. We -all returned home together, but in silence, and Colonel Berkeley never -afterwards sought Sophia's society. - -The next day I had the satisfaction of driving down to Leytonstone with -my young torment of a nephew, and I left him under the protection of -his schoolmaster, Mr. Codroie. - -"Ah! ah!" said the Frenchman, "here is de boy of my school again." - -I assured George in his presence that if I heard any complaints, or -if he was turned out of his school, I would use my interest to get -him immediately sent to sea: but promised to give him every possible -encouragement if I received a good account of him. - -I got home by about five o'clock, and found Fred Lamb in my little -library looking over my books. I felt annoyed by this intrusion; but -Frederick appeared to take so strong an interest in all I had been -reading and doing since we last met, that my heart failed me, after I -tried to quarrel with him. - -"I never saw a girl, except yourself," said Frederick, "possessing -unbounded liberty from the age of fourteen, without a single friend or -anything better to guide her than her own romantic imagination, who yet -contrives to grow wiser every year, to reflect, to read, and to improve -her mind, in the midst of such flattery as you are surrounded by." - -Fred Lamb did actually say all this: but I do not tell my reader that I -was vain enough to believe above half of it; for, though I had bought my -books to be ready, in case a fit of reading should happen to come over -me, yet I must confess that, hitherto, I have not had a call, as Lord -Headfort said. - -"Apropos to what?" - -"I'll tell you---- - -"At Brighton, I used to make a general postman of the good Marquis -of Headfort, who had long been our family's friend, equally at hand -to congratulate us on our marriages, our birth-days, or our expected -deaths. 'Send all your letters to me at Brighton, under cover to -Headfort,' I used to say to everybody who could not frank, or were -so cut off from the blessings of this life, as not to have a member -belonging to them. Headfort, having a packet of letters to bring up -to me every morning from the Pavilion to Prospect-house, which was -the dignified appellation my landlord bestowed on my humble cottage -at Brighton, I requested he would rap twice only; according to the -etiquette observed by other postmen. - -"'How much?' one day asked my stupid new servant, for which I discharged -her on the spot, for how could one live with an animal so little alive -to the sublime and beautiful, as to have mistaken the Marquis of -Headfort, wrapped up in an old great coat on a rainy day, for a common -general postman! I was really very much shocked indeed. - -"'Come upstairs, my dear Marquis,' said I, 'and see me discharge this -fool directly.' - -"Take off your great coat. - -"'Ah! _vous voila_, Marquis, _de haut en bas. Dites, donc, mon cher, en -parlant du bas_, who do you make love to now? for it cannot be supposed -a gay deceiver like yourself can be satisfied with old Mrs. Massey all -your life, although that crim. con. affair of yours did cost you so much -money.' - -"'Oh, my dear child,' answered poor Headfort, 'it is more than ten years -since Mrs. Massey has cut me dead, as her lover.' - -"'Why?' I asked. - -"'Don't you know, my dear, that she has turned methodist, and thinks it -wicked.' - -"'But then,' said I, 'it is still lucky for you, that her conscience -permits her to make use of your house, purse, equipage and private -boxes!' - -"'Yes,' said Headfort, 'she still does me that honour; for which I pay -very dear, particularly on a Sunday, when she reads me _Letters from the -Dead to the Living_, till I am almost tempted to wish her own signature -at the bottom of them.' - -"'With whom pray do you console yourself?' - -"'I have not had a call, my dear, for the last five years!' - -"'It will come on you when you shall be born again, by the assistance of -Mrs. Massey's prayers,' I remarked." - -I am, however, wandering from my subject. - -No matter, it was a very bad one! - -It was Fred Lamb who dined with me, read to me, talked of love to me, -and looked all passion, just like the satyr of my vision. - -'What vision, pray?' the reader asks; that is to say if ever I should -be honoured with a reader, which is not at all certain. I am ready -prepared and armed for abuse of every sort and kind: but not to be read! -No matter! If this happens, it will be entirely Stockdale's fault, for -not enlivening the work with pretty pictures as I have suggested to him, -and certainly cannot, by the most remote possibility, be owing to any -demerit of mine! - -Above all, I wanted Wellington to be exhibited, dripping with wet, -standing opposite my street-door at midnight, bawling up to Argyle, -who should be representing my old Abigail, from my bed-room window. -Good gracious! I quite forgot to tell this adventure! How could I be so -ridiculous and negligent? Never mind, you shall have it now--But there -is poor Fred Lamb waiting all this time, in my select library! I can't -help it--There's no getting on with Fred Lamb. I never could use him to -any purpose in all my life; and yet there's matter enough in him too! -What matters that? Let it stand over, or let it pass. Fred Lamb can read -Zimmerman, which he will find among my books. It will teach him to love -solitude and to profit by it, while my readers amuse themselves with the -interesting adventure which happened on the very night of Wellington's -arrival from Spain, and which I beg a thousand pardons for not having -made them acquainted with in due order and proper time. - -"Good news! Glorious news! Who calls?" said Master Puff, the -newsman.--Not that anybody called the least in the world; but Wellington -was really said to have won a mighty battle and was hourly expected. -Cannons were fired and much tallow consumed in illumination. His Grace -of Argyle came to me earlier than usual on that memorable evening; but, -being unwell and love-sick, he found me in my bed-chamber. - -"_Quelle bizarre idee vous passe par la tete?_" said I. "Surely you -have forgotten the amiable duchess, his bride, and all the fatigue -His Grace encountered, enough to damp the ardour of any mighty hero -or plenipotentiary, for one evening at any rate; therefore, trust me, -Wellington will not disturb us to-night." - -At this very moment a thundering rap at the door was heard. - -"_Vive l'amour! Vive la guerre_," said Argyle--"_Le voila!_" And hastily -throwing my dressing-gown over his shoulders, and putting on one of my -old night-caps, haying previously desired "the most particlerst man -as is" not to let anybody in, hastily put his head out of my bedroom -window, which was on the second floor, and soon recognised the noble -chieftain, Wellington! Endeavouring to imitate the voice of an old -duenna, Argyle begged to know who was at the door. - -"Come down I say," roared this modern Blue Beard, "and don't keep me -here in the rain, you old blockhead." - -"Sir," answered Argyle, in a shrill voice, "you must please to call your -name, or I don't dare to come down, robberies are so frequent in London -just at this season, and all the sojers, you see, coming home from -Spain, that it's quite alarming to poor lone women." - -Wellington took off his hat, and held up towards the lamp a visage, -which late fatigue and present vexation had rendered no bad -representation of that of the knight of the woeful figure. While the -rain was trickling down his nose, his voice, trembling with rage and -impatience, cried out, "You old idiot, do you know me now?" - -"Lord, sir," answered Argyle, anxious to prolong this ridiculous scene, -"I can't give no guess; and do you know sir, the thieves have stolen a -new water-butt out of our airy, not a week since, and my missis is more -timbersome than ever!" - -"The devil!" vociferated Wellington, who could endure no more, and, -muttering bitter imprecations between his closed teeth against all -the duennas and old women that had ever existed, returned home to his -neglected wife and family duties. - -That's all! - -But I am digressing from Fred Lamb! What is to be done? unless he turn -freemason, and tie me to his apron-strings! I wish I had let him alone -instead of handing him into my library; he is quite a weight on my mind! -Perhaps the reader will allow me to cut the subject where it stands? But -I should like to tell them about _The Cock_ at Sutton, too. - -Of course, you all know _The Cock_ at Sutton? or, lest any lady or -gentleman should be so deficient in tact, so behindhand in topographical -knowledge, so unacquainted with public characters, suppose I just -mention that the celebrated athletic Jackson, the gentleman bruiser and -prize-fighter, once shouldered and insinuated himself into the good -graces of the fair widow who kept _The Cock_ at Sutton, which afterwards -became his for several years by right of marriage and rights of a -landlord; hence its celebrity. - -However, the story I have to relate, has nothing to do with Jackson, -else I could about it straight: but there is a fatality attending on -Fred Lamb, and, though I am bored to death with him, I don't like to -miss telling you the story of _The Cock_ at Sutton! and so--here goes, -to use mad Dr. Robertson's elegant expression. - -I could only get Fred Lamb out of my library, by promising him that we -certainly should meet once more, if only to sign and seal my forgiveness -of his former violence. - -"Well then," said Frederick at last, "I shall come up from Brocket Hall -the day after to-morrow, and I will call on you on my way to town, and, -if you do not desire and wish to see me, order your servant not to let -me in; for I should be very sorry of forcing your inclinations a second -time." - -The next day, being of course deeply affected with Fred Lamb's absence, -I went to call on Julia, _pour me distraire._ - -"But where is your story of _The Cock_ at Sutton?" the reader inquires. - -I am coming to that by-and-by. - -Julia's spirits appeared much improved since my last visit to her. "I -see very well by your altered look," said I, "that Sir H. Mildmay has -been paying you a visit." - -"True," answered Julia with a deep sigh, which almost resembled a groan; -"but I see very plainly that he is tired of me." - -"My poor forlorn woman," I replied, "for God's sake, recollect you -are a mother! Whoever forgets that is less than human. Think of your -poor, dear, beautiful children. It is wrong perhaps to intrigue under -any circumstances, yet somebody who was wise, or who passed for wise, -has said that there are exceptions to every rule. Mr. Napier is rich -and free. I think that it depends on you to provide for your children. -Consider, my dear Julia," I continued, taking her hand; and I saw a tear -glisten in her eye. - -"When do you expect Mr. Napier?" I asked. - -"The long-backed odious creature will call here to-morrow," answered -Julia. - -"I wish something else could be done," said I hastily, sympathising in -her disgust. "Shall I write to your uncle, Lord Carysfort?" - -"Do not mention that unfeeling wretch!" exclaimed Julia. "A legacy -has been left me, which I cannot help thinking has been unfairly -appropriated." - -"Have you applied to his lordship on that subject?" I inquired. - -"I have written to him twice," answered Julia, "and my second letter -was answered by his lordship in these words, 'The person from whom you -expected a legacy showed a becoming horror and disgust at your vile -profligate conduct by withdrawing your name from his will.'" - -"Rely on it," said I, "that honourable uncle of yours has taken due care -of your property. But what can be expected from one thus destitute of -every manly feeling of compassion towards a poor, fallen, defenceless -relative!" - -Julia absolutely sobbed aloud. I never saw her thus affected; for she -was not given to the melting mood. To change the conversation, I asked -her what had become of another noble relative. - -"He has paid nearly a thousand pounds for me, and declares he can do no -more," replied Julia. - -"No matter," said I, "Napier is your man." - -"But Napier's vanity makes me sick," retorted Julia impatiently. "The -possession of my person would not satisfy him. He wants me to declare -and prove that I love him; and the thing is physically impossible." - -I thought of Fred Lamb and was silent. - -"What has become of Amy and Argyle?" I asked, after a pause. - -"Amy," said Julia, "is very proud of Argyle and also of her pregnancy, -and lives in hopes that her unborn babe by the Scottish laws may yet be -Duke of Argyle." - -"She has bespoken a boy then?" - -"Of that too she lives in hopes," repeated Julia. - -"And the Duke," inquired I, with something like a sickness of the heart, -"is he as tender and as loving as ever?" - -"I have heard nothing to the contrary," answered Julia. - -I was not jealous, but disgusted. I had always wished to love my sisters -dearly. It was very hard on me that they would not let me! - -"If," said Julia, "I were to consent to Napier's wishes, and he did not -provide for my children, I should go into the Serpentine River the very -next instant." - -"Here is a fuss about trifles," said I. "Why cannot we take these things -as the Frenchwomen do? _Ca lui fait tant de plaisir! pendant que ca me -coute si peu!_ That is the way they argue, and very philosophically -too. Your sin has been bringing all these children into the world; and -now, _coute qu'il coute_, you must provide for them, to the extent of -your power." I concluded here my very moral advice, and took my leave, -promising to join her in our Opera-box on the morrow evening. - -The next morning Mildmay called on me. He reproached me with having -deceived and made a fool of him; but all he could say or do could not -effect any change of my sentiments in his favour. - -He had also professed to love Julia once, and how had he requited her? -"Heaven defend me from the like humiliation," thought I, "which I should -richly deserve, were I to encourage this cold-hearted, profligate, -beautiful Sir Henry." - -As soon as I contrived to get rid of him and had dined, I went to join -Julia at the Opera House. The first man who came into my box was Fred -Lamb; he appeared delighted to see me. - -"When did you come to town?" I asked. - -"This morning," Fred answered, "and I called on you; but you were either -out or denied to me." - -"I passed the morning in my little library," answered I. - -"You have made me very wretched," whispered Fred Lamb, pressing my hand -with much passionate agitation. He looked remarkably well. - -"Indeed, Fred," said I, "I did not mean it." - -"Remember your promise then," added Fred Lamb, "and do pray, dearest -Harry, tell me, when you will throw away two whole days on me in the -country." - -"What shall we do there?" - -"Get married," interposed Julia. - -"Married!" exclaimed Fred Lamb. "From my heart and soul, I shall pity -the man who ever hopes to attach you, Harriette, to himself. You have -the knack of torturing those who love you, beyond the possibility of -endurance! Why not have told me at once that you did not mean to receive -me?" - -"I meant well," answered I, sighing; for it never gave me any pleasure -to be loved by those whose love I could not return. - -"Had you been my wife, by heavens, I should have murdered you long ago," -said Fred Lamb, half seriously. - -"Why, yes," I replied, "I think, as yet, you had better not venture on -me; but really, Fred, on the day I turn fifty I propose being steady, -and then, perhaps----" - -"No," said Fred Lamb, "not a bit of it. You would only then, as now, -be one day grateful for attentions and the next confess that you were -sorry, advise one not to fret for a woman of fifty; but declare you had -changed your mind." - -"If this is really my character, and you imagine I should act thus for -ever towards every man, how can you be so very weak as to like me?" - -Lord Molyneux came into my box at this instant. I always made it a point -to make violent love to Lord Molyneux, for the same reason that I used -to say soft things to Luttrell: because they neither of them professed -the least love to me. - -"I wish all the young men would dress as you do," said I to his -lordship. "That dear, little, gentleman-like bow, on the little, _vielle -cour_, three-cornered hat! How quiet and interesting compared to the -vile, gold-laced, dragoon-looking flat thing Lord Uxbridge carries under -his arm!" - -"What you say is most highly flattering," said Lord Molyneux, with -good-natured composure. - -"And then, white silk stockings always win my heart, no matter who wears -them. In short, your lordship is better dressed, and better adapted -altogether to set off a woman's opera-box than Brummell, Lord Jersey, -or any man I know; and, if I could only have ensured to myself the -honour of a visit from you every night, I should not have put myself to -the expense of ten pounds for these new red curtains." - -Lord Molyneux said that he was sure I ought to give him credit for the -gentleness of his disposition and the unheard-of patience with which -he stood there to be quizzed and laughed at; and yet, added Molyneux, -"Though this is invariably what happens to me, your box altogether has -attractions one cannot resist." - -"All nonsense," said I. "I am no longer to be put off in this manner, I, -who am stark staring mad for you!" - -"I am off," said Fred Lamb. - -Julia, who greatly admired him, as well as the character I had given her -of him, entreated him to remain. - -"You have not settled your rural excursion with Harriette yet," Julia -told him. - -"Oh, true! where is it to be?" I was obliged to ask; because Fred looked -in such a passion with me. - -"Would you like Richmond?" Fred inquired. - -"Oh, no!" I answered. "Sophia and I dined there a short time ago, -and--variety, you know, my dear Fred Lamb, is everything, even at fifty -years of age!" - -"Go to _The Cock_ at Sutton," said Berkely Craven, who had joined us. -"It is a delightful, pretty, rural place for a man to read rhymes, and -be romantic in; just fit for you, Fred." - -"Are you ever taken with either a fit of reading, or a fit of romance, -Berkely?" - -"Ask my young nephew here, who can tell you how I used to sit, and sigh, -and drink brandy and water with Mrs. Patten after the play," answered -Berkely. - -"So much for your romance!" said I. - -"And, as to reading," continued Berkely, "I will be bound to say, that, -among men who have received no regular education, not one has read more -plays and farces than I have; and I always read the newspaper from -beginning to end, except the debates." - -The Duc de Berri next came in; and we all stood up till he was seated, -as bound by etiquette; and then followed my young, new acquaintance, the -Duke of Leinster, who stood up by himself, like a noun substantive, for -want of a chair. - -Now the said Duke of Leinster being a very stingy, stupid blockhead, -whom nobody knows, I will describe him. His person was pretty good; -strait, stout, and middle-sized, with a good, fair, Irish allowance -of leg. It was a good leg, however, _mais en gros_; and I never saw -anything more decided in the shape of curls than those which adorned and -distinguished Leinster's crop from all such heads of hair as are in the -habit of resisting the curling tongs, when they do not happen to be red -hot: _c'etait, enfin, une belle tete._ - -I do not see how a man could be well handsomer, without a mind. His -Grace was at that time in the constant habit of assenting to whatever -anybody said, good or bad. He was all smiles and sweet good-humour. He -would, in fact, have made an excellent husband for Sophia; yet, strange -to say, he felt not the slightest inclination towards her; but Leinster -is not the first fool I have met with who required wit and talent in a -mistress. - -"How did your Grace's party on the river go off this morning?" I asked. - -"Oh, it was charming," answered the duke; with more of the brogue than -was necessary, for a lad who had been bred at Eton. "But, upon my -honour," added Leinster, "the English are too stiff and abominable, for -just as I had stripped and began to row they hallooed out, 'Wait for -His Grace! where's His Grace? where's the Duke of Leinster?'"--as if -His Grace, who happens to be a mere wild Irish boy of nineteen, was not -allowed to amuse himself in the same way that other lads do. "I question -if they did not expect to see me in a bag-wig," added Leinster. - -Lord Molyneux waited to catch my eye and kiss his hand as he made his -exit. - -"You are driving away the _vielle cour_ by expressing those vulgar -ideas." - -"I cannot help it," replied Leinster. "God Almighty has not cut me out -for a fine gentleman." - -"One word," said Fred Lamb, "and I am off, to make room for better men." - -"I really will," I interrupted him in a whisper, not knowing how else -to get rid of him, "I really will drive down to _The Cock_ at Sutton -to-morrow morning at about twelve, and inquire for you." - -Fred Lamb's eyes brightened. "Swear it upon your honour and soul," said -he, seizing my hand. - -"I do swear," I rejoined. - -He pressed his lips on the hand he held, in fervent gratitude, as he -took his leave. - -"I knew I should find my noble cousin the big duke here," said the young -handsome Harry De Roos, peeping his Narcissus-like head into my box. - -"Come in, you pretty Harry," said I. - -"Oh! I am very melancholy," observed De Roos, blushing, as he took his -seat. - -"Upon my honour," said Leinster, "Henry is fretting for nothing at all. -Wait now, while I tell you all about it." - -"Indeed, and we are waiting," I answered. - -"Why," Leinster went on, "his mother, my Lady De Roos, is going to send -him down to a private tutor to-morrow, and I have frightened him with my -description of the Smiths, that's all." - -"Who are the Smiths?" I asked. - -"Mr. Smith is the name of the big duke's tutor, whom he has just left," -answered De Roos, "after enduring such wretchedness, for more than two -years, as would have about finished me, I am sure." - -"Nothing at all like wretchedness, upon my honour," retorted Leinster. -"It is all Harry's spoiled way." - -"Tell us, you big duke, how you used to pass your valuable time at this -said bugbear of a tutor, Mr. Smith's," said I. - -"Listen while I tell you then," replied Leinster. "Myself and two other -lads were under his care. We rose at six and cleaned our own boots and -shoes." - -De Roos looked on his peculiarly delicate white hand and fingers and -sighed heavily. - -"And then," proceeded Leinster, "we took our breakfast, which consisted -of thick slices of bread with a little salt butter. After that we had -three large books placed before us, in which we were desired to read for -five hours, taking down notes of whatever struck us most forcibly. At -dinner, which consisted one day of a roast joint, the next of the same, -hashed; the third, ditto, minced; our society was enlivened by the three -Miss Smiths!" - -"What sort of animals were they?" inquired Julia, laughing. - -"The eldest, Miss Jemima, wore a sort of a false rump, sticking out so," -and Leinster put himself into a most ludicrous attitude. - -To my question, whether she was pretty, he answered, that her face was a -little too much like a dead horse for a perfect beauty. - -"Gorgons, all three of them, and the youngest turned of thirty," said De -Roos, with a heavy groan. - -"But then," interrupted Julia, "Mr. De Roos is not going to live with -Mr. Smith." - -"True," continued De Roos, "and, surely, there cannot be another such a -vile place in the world take it all together, cleaning boots, and the -Miss Smiths, and all?" - -"No," I answered, "you must hope the best, and recollect that merely -being minus the Miss Smiths is something." - -"Thank God, I have done with private tutors!" said Leinster. - -"How do you like Oxford?" asked Julia. - -"Delighted with it," replied the Duke. "Apropos of Christ Church. Do -you know that Brummell is cut amongst us, and who do you think sets the -fashions there now?" - -"Yourself, perhaps?" - -"No, nothing is asked, but whether Harriette Wilson approves of this -or that? Harriette likes white waistcoats--Harriette commends silk -stockings, &c. I asked my friend, the young Marquis of Worcester, why he -did not curl his straight locks. 'Harriette considers straight hair most -gentleman-like.' - -"On my asking him if he knew Harriette, the marquis owned that he had -never seen her, adding, 'I ran up three times to the Opera, on purpose; -but she did not make her appearance. Will you present me to her? I shall -be much indebted to you.' - -"'Not I, indeed, upon my honour,' was my answer, and I am the only young -man at Oxford acquainted with you." - -Young Lambton, the little curly-headed Opposition man, second son of -Lady Ann Wyndham, now interrupted us. The Duc de Berri, who had been all -attention to Julia, arose to depart, and we all stood up to bow him out, -with the selfsame ceremony with which we bowed him in. As to Berkely -Craven he had found his way out unobserved by us long before. - -Lambton had been, for the last three weeks, trying to muster courage -to express his passion, and Leinster, observing his anxiety to say -soft things in my ear, took his hat to depart, first declaring that he -should hold himself in readiness in the round room to see me safe to my -carriage. Harry De Roos, as he followed his cousin, begged us to pity -him, and convey his tender regards to Sophia. - -Next came Napier, who, with his usual ill-breeding, began to whisper in -Julia's ear. However, I would have put up with more than that to have -been of use to her. - -Lord Kinnaird paid me a sort of flying visit; but, seeing Napier so -deeply engaged on one side and Lambton so tender on the other, he had -the impudence to whisper in my ear, "_Mademoiselle Harriette, il ne faut -pas le corrompre_," and then left us. - -His lordship was overheard by Lambton, who began to fidget about and -redden, and appear very uneasy. - -"What is the matter, Mr. Lambton?" asked Julia. - -"I am not much of a Frenchman," muttered Lambton; "but I perfectly -understood what Lord Kinnaird said, and I think it was extremely -impertinent." - -Lambton's particular friend, the Honourable Thomas Dundas, now joined -us. I immediately related this mighty affair to him. - -Lambton declared that, whatever his appearance might be, he had no idea -of being treated like a child by any man, seeing that he was of age. - -"Yes," interrupted I, "of age to be wiser than to take offence where, -very evidently, no offence was meant. Lord Kinnaird only knows you by -sight." - -"The less reason for his taking such a liberty," answered the little -man, with much impatient dignity. - -While Dundas was endeavouring to calm his irritated friend, the curtain -dropped, and the Duke of Leinster hurried upstairs to be in time to -conduct me into the round room. Dundas and Lambton followed us, the -latter still grumbling and very sulky. - -Lord Kinnaird passed us again, and nodded good-naturedly as he -chaperoned some ladies to their carriage. Lambton spoke loudly at -him as he passed, saying he did not consider himself a subject for -ridicule, or in danger of being corrupted, or young enough to endure the -accusation. - -Lord Kinnaird heard nothing as applied to himself, never having dreamed -of such a thing as insulting or picking a quarrel with young Lambton. -This both I and Mr. Dundas took pains to impress on his mind; but the -peevish, fretful creature refused to hear reason. - -Again his lordship passed us, and again Lambton growled at him, with his -eyes fixed on his own well-blacked shoes. - -It was now my turn to lose my patience. - -"Good heavens!" I exclaimed, "is this what you Opposition gentlemen call -spirit, growling at a man between your teeth for an imagined insult? -Why growl or be sulky if nobody has offered you any insult? And if they -have, why do you not address them with firm, manly civility, to request -an explanation or apology?" - -Having thus brought my little spitfire gentleman to a point, he soon -contrived to pocket his supposed wrongs, since challenging had been -hinted at by me as his alternative, and went home without touching on -the subject to Lord Kinnaird. - -I do not exactly know what these young Lambtons are good for except -sulkiness. I remember hearing the officers of the old 10th Dragoons, to -which regiment the eldest Lambton had formerly belonged, declare that he -had contrived so to prejudice the whole regiment against him, that there -was no rest for himself or his brother officers till he left it. I do -not mean absolutely to assert by this that there really is no good about -either of the Lambtons, being in the first place an incompetent judge of -their merits, from having only a slight acquaintance with the youngest, -and, in the second, it being my intention to draw my characters with -truth and nature, I should be very sorry to caricature them. I will tell -you why--but this is a secret,--I do not like them well enough to tell -you a single untruth, to their prejudice, and thereby to shake your -faith in such facts as else would tell against them. In common justice -to my own heart I must add that I yet like even my enemies, and those -who have used me worst, too well to desire that you should believe them -worse than they really are. - - - - -CHAPTER XII - - -What I have stated and mean to state hereafter I will abide by and -swear to; and let them deny it if they can. I allude to all such facts -as might be likely to prejudice my reader against any individual. As -to mere harmless conversations, I do not profess more than general -accuracy; I often add a yes, a nod, or a no, or I neglect my dates and -relate anecdotes together which happened at different periods; but -happen they did; and no conversation is described herein which did not -take place within my own knowledge, and, for the most part, in my own -hearing. - -In regard to the Lambtons, I have related all I ever heard or knew -of them, good or bad; and, judging of the youngest, from my slight -observation, never having conversed with him for an hour together in my -life, I should pronounce him well read; rather sensible; not one bit -witty; touchy, sulky, proud, and overbearing: but, having yet the fear -of God always before him, he prefers growling to duelling, as in duty -bound. So much I guess; yet, being uncertain as to what relates to his -religious principles I beg that all his friends will consider him as -bold as a lion, until he shall himself have proved to them the contrary. - -To proceed, I refused to permit the Duke of Leinster to accompany me -home, although he declared himself ready to mount the box, or to stand -behind with my dapper little footman! I was out of sorts and out of -spirits at the idea of having promised to meet Frederick Lamb at _The -Cock_ at Sutton on the following morning. Oh, this tiresome Fred -Lamb! I wonder if any woman alive was ever in love with him, with the -exception of the once celebrated Charlotte Windham: who would have taken -him into keeping, at least so I have heard, and found him in washing, -tea, sugar, and raw eggs to the end of his natural life, had he not cut -her dead, _pour mes propres beaux yeux_. Handsome, clever, young, a -great plenipo, and the recorded son of the Earl of Melbourne! What would -ladies be at? "_On ne connait pas toujours son pere, c'est un malheur; -on est sur, cependant, d'en avoir eu un, cela console!_" as says Pigault -Le Brun. - -Fred Lamb certainly had a father and, in my conscience, I believe him to -have been a man of high rank, no matter whether he was a lord, a duke, -or a prince, and, what is more, his mother was a married woman: and yet, -notwithstanding these multifarious advantages of both, I looked forward -with disgust to the idea of meeting him at _The Cock_ at Sutton. How -could I be so deficient in good taste? - -I found two letters on my dressing-table; the first I took up was in -my young nephew's well-known round text. I knew that he would not -write, unless he wanted money or clothes, whips or cricket-bats, and, -as I happened to be very poor, I did not venture to break the seal, -till I had examined the other letter in search of consolation. It was -addressed in an unknown, and I fancied, disguised hand. I hastily broke -open the plain wafer seal, and found a two hundred pound bank-note, -merely enclosed in a blank cover. "Charming correspondent," said I, "how -eloquent is thy silence!" - -"It is very clear," continued I to myself, "that there is a providence, -which is kind enough to take particular care of me; for I have only to -spend my last shilling to ensure to myself a full purse, which comes to -me nobody knows how." I was at loss to guess at the munificent being -who could find pleasure in thus secretly disposing of so large a sum -without even the chance of being thanked for it. "It must be Lord -Ponsonby," thought I, and, strange to say, the idea gave me pain instead -of pleasure. I would rather have been indebted to any man's goodness -than his. It was a relief to my mind to believe him heartless and -unworthy of my affection. - -To change the current of my thoughts I opened my young nephew's letter, -which also contained an enclosure, in the shape of a little dirty note -directed to William Halliday, my footman. - -The letter to me was as follows: - - "MY DEAR AUNT,--I hope you are well, as this leaves me at - present. Excuse this bad writing as I am so very bad, and my head - aches fit to split, but I am ordered this very moment, before - the post goes out, to acquaint you with my accident, as Monsieur - Codroie says, perhaps, you may wish me to come to town, to have the - rest of my teeth put to rights, the fact is then, to be short, dear - Aunt, I was running just now, and I hit my face against another - boy's head, and broke out my two front teeth, - - "Your affectionate Niece, - "GEORGE WOODCOCK. - - "P.S.--Pray deliver the enclosed to William, in answer to a - long stupid sermon he has written to me about five shillings he - says I borrowed of him." - -George's enclosure was merely poor William's laboured epistle turned -inside out, with these eloquent words written near the seal,-- - - "Five and four makes nine, - Mind your business, and I'll mind mine." - -"_Vive la poesie!_" said I, throwing the letter aside, and ringing for -my _femme de chambre_, whom I desired to prepare for my journey to _The -Cock_ at Sutton on the following morning. - -I did not awake till twelve o'clock, when I rang my bell. - -"Madame, _la voiture est a la porte_," said my French maid, as she -entered my bedroom. - -"I cannot help it; so bring me a cup of chocolate, _pour me donner du -courage_," I replied. - -Before I had finished it, the Duke of Leinster was announced, and I went -down to him in my dressing-gown and slippers. - -"Upon my honour," said His Grace, "I am very glad you did not keep your -appointment with Fred Lamb. I have brought little George some strings to -mend his fiddle with and, if you will give it me, I will string it for -him." - -I rang for the fiddle, and Leinster set to work in great glee. - -"How did you get home last night?" I asked. - -"Oh," said Leinster, "my brother Fitzgerald has found out such a woman! -Upon my honour I never laughed so much in all my life. He told me she -was Venus herself, just emerged from the froth of the sea! I wanted to -go home and think of you; but Fitzgerald dragged me by force to No. -2 Upper Norton-street. We were shown into a parlour by an old, dirty -duenna, who assured us her mistress was engaged, and she regretted it of -all things. - -"'Good gracious!' said I, 'Fitz, you are not going to wait?' - -"'Yes,' said my brother, mysteriously; 'she is in keeping, and has been -these five years. I shall ruin her if I am found here, so pray be quiet. -The gentleman who keeps her is a captain of horse-marines.' - -"'For God's sake, let me be off,' said I, making the best of my way to -the door. 'I can stand a lick or two as well as most lads of my age -and country; but, being in love elsewhere, and not quite come to my -strength, I do not feel much inclined to encounter this horse-marine -to-night.' However, Fitzgerald overruled all my objections and kept me -there in perfect misery for more than half an hour. At last, we heard -the creaking of heavy boots descending the stairs. I scarcely ventured -to breathe, expecting every minute to be called to account by the horse -marine, for being found concealed on his premises at past two in the -morning. - -"Upon my honour, I did not half like it! and only just fancy my horror -when, instead of going out at the street door as we both expected, this -much-dreaded horse-marine strutted into the parlour in search of his -hat! He did not look much like a horse-marine, but reminded me more of -a city hosier. Nevertheless, I made myself as small as possible, and -strove to hide behind the scanty, red window-curtain. As to Fitzgerald, -believing that all was lost, he became bold from desperation and, -folding his arms across his breast, he fixed his eyes steadily on his -rival. The horse-marine, who had entered with the sort of strut which -became a commander-in-chief of No. 2 Upper Norton Street, started back, -instead of encountering my brother's fixed regard, and began to stammer -out an apology. He had just taken the liberty of seeing the lady home -safe from the Opera; he begged pardon if it had been wrong, he was sure -no harm nor disrespect was meant, &c. - -"By this time my brother, who, I assure you, is by no means such a fool -as I am, saw exactly how the case stood, and that the horse-marine -was but the creature of his fair mistress's imagination, a sort of -circular bug-bear by which she contrived to frighten all her lovers, -while she flattered their vanity with the idea that her acquaintance -was an unusual _bonne fortune_, which their peculiar merits alone had -obtained for them. This conviction being impressed on my brother's -mind, he interrupted his rival in the midst of his humble apologies by -playing himself, for that night only, the character of the terrific -horse-marine! And, waving his hand with much pomp towards the door, as -he fixed his back against the fireplace, said, 'No offence, my good -fellow, no offence! only, there is the door you know, and, unless you -prefer making your exit by the window, never let me see your rascally, -ugly face in this house again!' - -"Upon my honour," continued Leinster, "I could not stand it any longer, -and, before the poor trembling wretch got to the street door, we both -broke out into a roar of laughter, which was interrupted by the entrance -of the frail fair one herself, whom my brother immediately accosted thus: - -"'Fair lady, since I have been allowed to make so very valuable an -acquaintance as that of your horse-marine, my conscience will not permit -me to interfere with his happiness:' and we hastened out of the house -before the lady could recover from her confusion and surprise." - -"Now, duke," said I, "there's the door," placing myself before the fire, -and pointing to it in humble imitation of Fitzgerald. - -Leinster took this gentle, delicate hint, with much good-nature, and -left me at about two o'clock. I felt really ashamed of myself and, -hurrying on my travelling dress, was soon with my maid, on our road to -_The Cock_ at Sutton. Fred Lamb was waiting at the door, and his joy, on -perceiving my carriage, overcame all his late vexation. - -"I shall be nicely quizzed and laughed at," said Fred Lamb. "Harry -Wyndham and Lord Egremont alighted here this morning, on their road to -his lordship's house at Brighton. They asked me so many questions as -to where I was going, that I was obliged to confess I was waiting for -somebody to meet me. They remained with me an hour. 'Why you will not -wait any longer, surely,' said Harry! 'Who can the cruel fair one be?' -It was too bad of you." - -"Well, do not scold," I answered, "for I could not help it." - -Fred Lamb had a book in his pocket, and he read to me in the garden -while our dinner was preparing. His remarks on the fine poem he read -were very sensible; but his manner of reading, like that of his brother -William, I dislike: it might rather be called singing; and yet some say -it is proper, and all admit it to be the fashion to read so. - -We had an excellent dinner and, as long as I saw daylight, I kept in -pretty good spirits; but when the waiter brought us candles, and we -seemed as though settled for the night at _The Cock_ at Sutton, my -heart completely failed me. I tried hard to reason myself out of this -repugnance. I argued with myself that, since I had already been under -Frederick's protection, one night more or less could not make much -difference,--that to leave him now were to treat him really ill and -make, perhaps, a bitter enemy of a man well disposed towards me: but all -would not do. "I cannot help it," said I to myself, in a sort of frenzy, -"I would rather die than pass another whole night with Fred Lamb, now -the thing is gone by and I have been so attached to another." My case -was desperate; for I almost equally dreaded telling Lamb I would not -stay with him. - -"Fred Lamb," said I, at last, absolutely pale with terror, "I really -must return to town to night. Do not ask me why, for you may be sure, if -I wished to stay, I should not go, and, if I do not, my society cannot -be worth having, to a man of taste, who can easily make himself beloved -and desired by more likeable objects than I am. You will, I know, have -a right to reproach me with caprice, because my good heart made me wish -to avoid the appearance of unkindness towards an old friend; _mais vous -savez bien que les passions ne se commandent pas._" - -Fred Lamb on this occasion behaved very well and very gentlemanlike, -much as his pride and feelings were hurt. He ordered out my carriage and -accompanied me home with friendly politeness, nor did he make a single -unpleasant observation on my refusal to remain there. - -The favourite topic on my arrival in town was the Marquis of Anglesea's -elopement with the wife of Sir Henry Wellesley. His Grace of Argyle was -soon expected to console Lady Anglesea by the offer of his hand and -heart, in case that good lady could contrive, by hook or by crook, by -English law, or by Scotch law, to obtain her liberty. - -Amy Madden, _alias_ Sydenham, _alias_ Argyle, had long been led to -believe, according to her own account, that she was to become the -legitimate wife of the Duke of Argyle. At last, when Amy was very near -her confinement, Argyle, fearful least the sad truth might fall heavier -on her tender heart from a third person than from his own lips, one fine -morning, after breakfast, having no doubt previously fortified himself -with a bumper of brandy, for Amy was a practical Tartar, opened to her -with the utmost delicacy he was master of, the appalling fact that he -was about to marry Lady Anglesea. - -Amy had a hysterical fit, or was afflicted with sore eyes, I forget -which; but I know that she was very bad and vented her rage in all the -refined expressions usual on these most celebrated occasions. It will -scarcely be expected that I should feel much commiseration for her. When -I state these facts it must be understood that Amy said so; but then, -will methodistical Luttrell add, with his eyes turned up towards the -sky, or the ceiling, as the chance may be--if all the lies that have -been uttered since the flood were put into a scale with Amy's, they -would weigh as a hair in the balance; so that, perhaps, the less I say -on this matter the better. - -At last, when a whole month had elapsed beyond the period Amy had named -for the expected event, Argyle could keep on the mask no longer; and, -having asked her one evening how she felt, and received for answer that -she was perfectly well and free from pain, he said, in a passion, "Why, -Amy, you are surely a Johanna Southcott, and never mean to be confined -at all." This was certainly very cruel, though no less certainly -circumstances did rather appear to justify such a suspicion! - -At last, oh, blessed news for Argyle! Amy declared she felt a slight -pain; but whether it proceeded from the sweet pledge of love she carried -in her bosom or from what else was time to determine: and my kind -readers will probably recollect that, in a like protracted case, Old -Time determined against the late Marchioness of Buckingham, without the -least respect to all the splendid paraphernalia which had been profusely -got up for the anticipated joyful occasion. Amy, however, not being -quite so stricken in years, Argyle bustled about in the joyful hopes of -a speedy deliverance, and said, "No harm in sending to Dr. Merriman, and -getting the knocker tied up, and a little straw laid before the door?" -As to the nurse, she had been in the house for the last month! - -By the time the knocker was tied up, the straw laid down, and Dr. -Merriman shown upstairs into her room, Amy declared herself quite well -again, and so she continued for another week. - -"Good Lord deliver us!" exclaimed Argyle. - -"Amen!" responded the old nurse: for who would differ from a duke, -however pleasant it might be to enjoy present pay and good quarters for -doing nothing! - -I cannot help pitying anything in labour, even a mountain! At length, -Amy herself really experienced the so often anticipated pains. She now -declared that she could not stand it, and would not, that was more! - -"Give me a pair of scissors!" said she in a fury to the doctor, "and I -will cut my own throat directly." - -Dr. Merriman answered with perfect _sangfroid._ - -Apropos! I do remember this said Dr. Merriman of Curzon-street, an -apothecary, and often has he stood behind his uncle's counter to serve -me when I was a child and fond of sweets, with a pennyworth of Spanish -liquorice. His father was a respectable accoucheur and had the honour -to bring all my respectable family into this respectable world, one by -one, except my youngest sister Julia; and he would have done as much by -her, but that he happened to die one day, and the present Dr. Merriman, -his nephew, formerly well known by the appellation of Sam Merriman, -officiated, _faute de mieux_, my dear mother being too shy to endure the -idea of a perfect stranger. - -As soon as he got possession of his dead uncle's carriage he took the -small liberty of cutting the shop, Spanish liquorice and all, and -ventured to change the name of Sam for the more dignified one of Doctor, -but it would not pass current everywhere. Many refused to pay a fee, and -voted him _ignorantus, ignoranta, ignorantum!_ and so Sam, _a force de -battre le fer_, contrived to take out a degree, and became Dr. Merriman -indeed, at any lady's service. - -"My dear Lady," said the doctor to Amy, in answer to her request for a -pair of scissors to cut her own throat, "my dear lady, I should be happy -to oblige you, if you could first insure my own neck": and then, turning -to the nurse as he warmed his hands by the fire, "I always let them -halloa, and make just as much noise as they like; but, for myself, as it -will be necessary for me to pass the night here, I shall thank you to -give me some warm blankets on that sofa; with a cup of tea and a bottle -of wine." - -In due season, the gentle Amy was delivered of a fine boy, by my old -friend Sam Merriman, and was duly announced to be as well as could be -expected. For another fortnight, Amy contrived to keep Argyle in London, -as might be supposed to his no small annoyance, just on the eve of his -approaching nuptials with Lady Anglesea. The time however did arrive -when His Grace took his departure northward, to the destruction of all -the airy visions which had long flitted before the anxious eyes of -Amy, who had adorned them with ducal coronets and almost every other -attribute of a resolutely, ambitious and selfish mind. She declared that -her death must be perfectly an event of course; yet she got up in a -month, as blooming and well as she had ever been in her life. It is true -she worked herself up into a dreadful frenzy of passion, when anybody -told her that the Duchess of Argyle was, or would soon be, in the way -which all ladies who love their lords wish to be in; but she was easily -consoled by adding a few years to Her Grace's age, or detracting from -the duchess's charms, personal or mental. - -Enough of Amy. I hate to dwell long on any subject, unless indeed it -were the merits of these my most interesting and valuable memoirs! which -I assure you might have been better still--but that Stockdale won't -let me or any one else study and correct them. "The merits of such a -light work as this," stupidly says he, "is, that it is written without -study, and naturally, and just as you converse. There are learned books -enough, and more than people are aware of, all written with such correct -precision, as to defy the Edinburgh Reviewers themselves! and yet half -of them do not take the trouble, although months have been spent in -poring over heavy volumes, to secure the accuracy of a single date! This -research is highly creditable in its way; but, since the world, in their -rage for variety, require a little of everything, write you in your own -natural language, and of life, manners, and men as they strike you, and, -take my word for it, your own genuine spirit will please and the book -will sell." So here am I, seated on an easy chair at No. 111, in the -Rue de Faubourg St. Honore a Paris, writing, not for the benefit of my -readers, but for my own amusement and profit to boot, and in the full -expectation that my work is to pass the twentieth edition! Apropos, I -have just got a letter from Stockdale, who tells me he has hopes, even -beyond what he at first anticipated, as to the success of my Memoirs: -but then he consents to observe my directions as to the pretty pictures; -which he says shall certainly adorn the work before it gets to the -conclusion. - -Love me, love my dog! - -"Apropos to what?" says the reader. - -I really don't know. I have had my head leaning on my finger, which is -my usual attitude, as you see me in the portrait, for the last three -minutes, after I had finished the word edition, considering what was to -be my next subject. - -I yesterday dined with a lady, who assured me that it often cost her an -hour to begin a letter; but, having once decided on the first five or -six words, she could scribble on till doomsday. - -"I'll put anything down," said I to myself, "just now, if only to try -my fortune in that way," and, looking towards my window, from which I -have a full view of everybody who passes in the Faubourg St. Honore, I -saw a thin _ancien regime-_looking, powdered Frenchman, in a threadbare -coat and a pair of yellow old silk stockings, which showed to much -disadvantage what, I suppose, he calls _les beaux restes_ of his calves. - -"It is rakish and interesting," says Lord Foley, "to have a thin leg; -but you must never admit that you were not born with a large calf, -while you declare that your high breeding has left you only, _les beaux -restes_." - -However, to proceed with my Frenchman in the threadbare coat, who just -now stopped near my window to take off his hat to an opulent-looking man -with a large, black dog. - -"What sort of a man is an opulent-looking man?" perhaps the reader may -inquisitively ask, and particularly if he should happen to belong to -that fraternity vulgarly called blacklegs. - -Why gentlemen, if you will take off your dreadful Thurtel-looking, white -great-coats, and sit down quietly, and not frighten one, I will tell you. - -I generally guess to be opulent, a man who, being vulgar, and with the -air and manners of low birth, appears not at all proud of a new coat, -which he wears not well brushed, and a chain of value, which is not -dragged too forward; and generally appears discontented with whatever -poor men are most apt to admire. He likewise makes a particular sort of -bow; putting on his hat always less ceremoniously than he had taken it -off to salute you, as though, on second thoughts, it had scarcely been -worth his while. All these, my favourite marks, had the man whom the -thin old beau just now saluted with such profound respect. - -The supposed opulent man apparently, to the great surprise and delight -of the poor one, made a full stop, and addressed him.--While they were -conversing, the large, black, dirty dog, jumped on his hind legs, and -began playing with the thin old beau, covering him with mud. Instead of -driving the nasty animal away in anger as I fully expected, he caressed -and patted him, as though quite enchanted. The opulent man, whose -frightful dog I should imagine had never before been tolerated, appeared -all gratitude and respect for him who saw his qualities with the same -partial eyes that he did himself. - -"Love me, love my dog," said I to myself, and, trusting to providence -for what was to follow, I put the words down in my manuscript. It is a -very natural feeling, certainly, yet many carry it much too far. I have -known men, and women too, who could love nothing for the life of them, -however amiable, with whom everybody was not charmed! Some men quarrel -with those who will not admire their mistress; others love her no longer -than she happens to continue the fashion; if, indeed, one may dignify -such selfish feelings of admiration as originate only in vanity by the -appellation of love! Still it is perfectly natural to desire that our -friends and those we respect should sanction our affections by partaking -of our admiration. - -"It is sweet to do a great many things," Lord Byron said, and he might -have added, how very sweet and pure is the delight we all experience at -the genuine spontaneous praise bestowed on the object of our choice. - -Lord Ponsonby was certainly one of the most reserved and shy men in -England, and, being a married man, was naturally, for reasons, desirous -of concealing his affections when his wife was not their object. One -day, during the time we were living together, I walked into the Green -Park with my young brother George. We met Lord Ponsonby in a barouche, -accompanied by his sister, Lady Howick. - -"What two merry, lovely faces are those," said her kind ladyship to her -brother, "how closely they resemble each other! What a delightful girl! -The boy of course must be her brother." - -Ponsonby always described this as one of the very happiest moments of -his life, nor could all his dread of notoriety, his constitutional -reserve, and his sense of what was due both to his wife and his sister, -prevent his acknowledging, in answer to Lady Howick's question, why he -blushed so deeply, that we had loved each other for more than a year. - -"Oh, for shame, John!" said his good-natured sister, at least, so -Lord Ponsonby told me, "but then to be sure, this very nice girl does -resemble Lady Ponsonby extremely." - -"Do you think that fine boy, her brother, would like to go to sea?" - -Ponsonby said he would inquire. - -"I have taken such a fancy to your Harriette," continued Lady Howick, -"that I wish I could be of service to her. I know I can make Lord Howick -send her brother out as midshipman." - -It was very, very kind! - -My little brother wished to go out, and I was ready to do my best to -fit him out. Lord Ponsonby was very persevering about it for more than -a month; but my poor mother wanted courage to part with so young and -certainly so fine a boy.... - - - - -CHAPTER XIII - - -What do you think of Elliston the actor? I will tell you my opinion. -He is one of the most mercenary, selfish creatures I ever met with. -I once thought better of him; that was at the very beginning of our -acquaintance. I had absolutely been in love with the man ever since I -accompanied my mother to witness his performance in the comedy of _The -Honeymoon_. Elliston, in the character of the duke, appeared so very -manly, so very gentlemanlike, so everything which a man ought to be to -win a fair lady's heart, that I did not recover myself for more than a -fortnight. - -One day, little Livius, of some Dragoon regiment which I have forgotten, -having only a sort of bowing, nodding acquaintance with him, met me in -Great Portland-street. He touched his hat and begged pardon for running -after me; but knowing my talent, he was anxious to obtain my opinion of -a little farce he was about to bring out at Drury-lane Theatre, under -the title of _Maid and Wife._ - -"Will you appoint a time to call on me, and read your piece?" said I. - -"Yes, provided you promise to give me your frank and most candid opinion -of it, whether good or bad." - -I promised to do this on my word, and nine o'clock on the next evening -was fixed for his reading the farce to me. - -Livius was punctual; he read his little piece with spirit, and played -and sung the songs. They were borrowed from the French, as was the -farce, but Livius had adapted it with some taste to the English stage. -It was _un assez joli petit rien_, and I doubted not would have its run -for a fortnight at least. I expressed my approbation, at which Livius -did me the honour to appear very proud. - -"Elliston himself is kind enough to play one of my characters, and the -others he has given to his very best performers." - -"What a charming actor is Elliston," I remarked. - -"Would you like to be acquainted with him?" said Livius. - -"Of all things in the world," I replied. "The impression he made on me -when I was only thirteen years of age, I have not forgotten yet." - -"If then," added Livius, "you will allow me to make up your party for -the play to-morrow, I have a private box at your service, and I will -invite the Honourable George Lamb to join us. Elliston plays in _Wild -Oats_, but he will come to us between the acts, or after the play, -I have no doubt. At any rate with your permission, we will all sup -together at my hotel in Dover Street. I have very good rooms there and -three pianofortes, on either of which I shall be delighted to hear you -play." - -I assured him that I would hold myself in readiness at any hour he would -appoint to call for me. - -"Will you be offended if I venture to introduce a young lady to you?" -Livius asked. - -"Not at all, provided you permit me to cut her dead, in case her society -should not be to my taste." - -"Certainly," said Livius; and after begging me to expect him in his own -carriage, at seven on the following evening, he left me. - -Livius's little farce of _Maid and Wife_ was advertised for the -approaching Monday. On that day, Livius and I and a pretty, weak, -childish young lady found our way to a private box at Drury Lane -Theatre, just at the close of the first of _Wild Oats_. We were soon -joined by my own faithful Frederick's brother, the honourable George -Lamb, to whom I was presented by Livius. I immediately began to discuss -the merits and demerits of Frederick with my usual and abrupt frankness. - -"Can anything be more ridiculous," I exclaimed, "than the rage which is -caused alone by your not returning a man's passion! Why blame one for -what really cannot be helped?" - -"Very fine talking," retorted George Lamb, "but, in fact, love is the -most arbitrary passion we are susceptible of. If you torture a man he -must naturally hate you." - -"Do you believe in God?" I asked. - -"_Et vous, Madame?_" said George Lamb. - -"I do indeed," I replied, "believe in his goodness, but not in his -vengeance. I dread and abhor the idea of offending him because I believe -he would forgive all my faults." - -George Lamb looked incredulous. - -"If I do really believe in a God, and a hereafter, would you have me -affect to be a disbeliever? Because there is an ironical smile on your -countenance." - -"Not at all," replied George Lamb, with honest truth, or the resemblance -of it at least: "not at all; those who do believe in God are mean and -contemptible, when they feel ashamed of confessing their faith." - -Take him all in all I rather like George Lamb, notwithstanding they say -he does eat too much dinner, which occasions him to drink too much wine -in order to wash too much dinner down. This does not however prevent his -being one of the frankest men I ever met with. - -I did not altogether like Elliston in _Wild Oats._ He made too many -faces, and reminded me of the minor theatres, where grimace is in -considerable request. Perhaps also, since the time I fell in love with -him in _The Honeymoon_, he was all the worse for having presided over -a small theatre as manager for several years. He joined us after the -play, and being tipsy, which is generally the case with him, I thought -him very pleasant, although as I have since discovered there is not a -heavier, more matter-of-fact, stupid companion on earth than Elliston, -when he is sober. - -I asked George Lamb if he had heard Mr. Livius's new piece. - -"Part of it only; but, from what I saw, I think it must be a very lively -_petite comedie,_" answered Lamb. - -Elliston made very free with us all, and especially with George Lamb. - -As soon as the curtain dropped and we were all seated in the carriage, -Elliston got in a passion with Livius's coachman for not immediately -moving on. - -"What the devil is the matter?" said he, "what detains your man? All -this fuss about a rascally three hundred pound-house and not twenty -carriages!" - -"I told you Munden's day was over, and that he would not fill the house, -before you engaged him for to-night," said George Lamb. - -"I say," answered Elliston, "Munden would have filled the house if it -had been a fine night." - -"Not he," said George Lamb, "your crownation might, but not Munden!" - -"Hold your tongue, you are a Whig," said Elliston; and George Lamb was -silent, after a grunt. - -"But what in the name of the devil is your ass of a coachman keeping us -here for?" said Elliston. - -"Why, Livius, I thought you piqued yourself on being at all times -remarkably well appointed." - -Livius confessed he knew not what to make of it; and put out his head to -inquire of his footman what was the reason of being kept stationary. - -The footman's voice was drowned by the vociferation of Elliston from the -opposite window. - -"Where's Townsend, or any of the constables?" - -A constable approached the carriage. - -"Why the devil don't you manage better?" roared out Elliston; "why is -the road blocked up in this manner?" - -"It is not blocked up at all, Mr. Elliston," answered the constable, -"it's nothing in the world but the coachman as is so drunk, he can't sit -on his box." - -"God bless my soul!" said Livius, and then he called out again to his -footman to know what was the matter. - -The footman either could not or did not choose to explain. - -"Get you then on the box and drive us home, Jem," said Livius. - -No sooner said than done. Jem, having mounted the box, entreated his -fellow servant to give up the reins. - -"Touch my honour, touch my life," said the coachman, who absolutely -refused to part with the whip. - -"D--n his rascally drunken soul!" said Elliston, trying to force open -the carriage-door. "I'll settle him! Trust me for having him off his -perch in half a second. Of all things I abhor a drunkard!" - -"For God's sake, Elliston, be quiet," said George Lamb. - -"You seem to take it perfectly easy," said I, to Lamb, "seeing that all -our precious necks are in danger!" - -"We must take our chance," answered Lamb quietly. "The only thing I -particularly dread is the idea of Elliston attempting to drive us home -himself. I can bear anything but that." - -The coachman and footman now appeared to be fighting on the box, Livius -was scolding and bawling out of one window, Elliston _faisant un bruit -tel qu'il n'y en eut jamais en enfer_, at the other, because he could -not get the coach door open, and nobody would come to his assistance. -At last he succeeded; the footman made room for him on the box, and -Elliston quietly threw the drunken coachman off on to the pavement, -box-coat and all, in spite of his swearing and kicking. - -Livius got out of the carriage, and picked the man up, to ascertain that -he was alive, as he fell without uttering a groan. - -"Oh! for shame, you cowardly wretch, to treat an honest poor coachman -in that brutal way! Why you've killed him, poor dear soul!" said an old -hag, who happened to pass at the instant. - -Elliston, still smarting with the knocks, kicks and scratches he had got -in his scuffle with the obstinate coachman, was not in a very gentle -humour. The woman forced herself in his way, and he, I presume, pushed -her rather ungallantly aside. - -"Oh you coward! oh you coward!" screamed out the woman; "strike a woman, -hay! here's a coward for you!" - -"Oh! Mr. Elliston," said I, shaking my head at him, as he stood at the -carriage window. - -"I only touched her just so," said Elliston, tapping me on the head. - -"Just so!" repeated his fair antagonist, "why he has half kill'd me; -here, watchman! watchman!" - -The rattle was sprung, and behold Elliston and Livius surrounded by the -guardians of the night. - -What became of the coachman I know not; but, in about five minutes more, -Elliston jumped into the carriage and ordered the footman to drive to -Mr. Livius's Hotel in Dover Street. - -"Where is Livius?" asked we all three in a breath. - -"Gone to the watch-house," said Elliston, with the most perfect -composure. - -"How so?" asked George Lamb. - -"What has he done?" inquired the young lady in a pet, declaring that no -one had been to blame but Mr. Elliston; therefore she would not stir -till Mr. Livius was safe. - -"Nonsense, nonsense! fair lady. Let him use my name at the watch-house!" - -"Where, I presume, you are well known, Mr. Mountebank," added I. - -"One of us must have gone," said Elliston, laughing, "and I tell you he -will join us before we have finished our supper. It serves him right for -having a drunken coachman. Why all our necks would have been broken by -this time, but for me." - -"To hear that man talk," said George Lamb, "one might almost be led to -believe he was a very fine fellow!" - -On our arrival at Livius's lodgings in Dover Street, we found an -elegant, cold supper laid out, with plenty of champagne on the -side-board. - -"Your master is gone to the watch-house," said Elliston, "and has -requested me to do the honours. Ah! ah!" continued he, taking up one of -the soup plates, "we have white soup, I presume. I am very fond of white -soup, and am very hungry. Pray, bring it up directly." - -The young lady and I declare that it was a shame and a sin to sit down -without Livius. - -George Lamb begged leave to differ in opinion; because he wanted his -supper. - -Elliston insisted, and the white soup made its appearance. In about a -quarter of an hour after we were seated, Livius entered the room quite -out of breath. - -"Did not I tell you he would soon join us?" said Elliston. "Sit down, my -dear Livius. Your white soup was so excellent, that there is none left. -You used my name, of course, at the watch-house?" - -"If he had, he would have been kept there for a week," observed George -Lamb, and Elliston laughed heartily, though very slily. - -"This," said Elliston, drawing out a small unbound volume from his -pocket, "this is the French farce from which Kemble has taken the new -piece he is to bring out next Thursday. What think you of our getting it -up the same evening?" - -"Let me see it," said Livius. Elliston desired that he would translate a -few lines. - -George Lamb and Elliston together, after they had listened to a page or -two, with one voice exclaimed, "Very stupid." - -"Mine is but mere literal translation," said Livius. "Harriette, no -doubt, could make something of it." - -"Will you oblige me by undertaking it, madam?" inquired Elliston, "and -completing it in two days?" - -"If anybody can be found to accomplish the songs," I observed, "I won't -be behindhand." - -"I will rhyme them in English," said George Lamb, "if you really wish -it." - -"And I will set them to music," added Livius, "provided Mr. Lamb will -sit up all night to get them done in time for me." - -"I think it wont answer," said George, "and be only tiring the poor -performers, as well as ourselves, to no purpose; but, if you really have -fixed your heart upon the thing, I will devote a night, and finish the -songs." - -Elliston waxed more generous as he waxed more drunk, and suddenly -throwing the farce behind the fire, exclaimed, "This competition with -the other house is paltry and ungentlemanlike. I will have none of it. -It is in too bad a taste; besides," said he, half in mockery, "Mr. -Livius's piece is to have such a run, we shall want nothing else all the -season!" - -"Apropos of that little piece," said I, "I wish Livius would play the -songs, and sing them to us." - -Livius was immediately seated at the pianoforte. When he got to the last -chorus-song Elliston jumped up, declaring he was to sing that with the -rest, and had not yet heard a word of it. He then began, with a serious -face, accompanying Livius. - - "Oh 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love." - -"Elliston!" bawled out George Lamb, "why the deuce don't you come and -finish your supper? I want to speak to you." - -Elliston took no notice; but continued his "_Oh! 'tis love, 'tis love, -'tis love._" - -"Livius," then said George Lamb, "I want to ask you whether you have -places to spare for your night?" - -"Elliston won't allow me to leave off," replied Livius, still continuing -to play, to Elliston's "_Oh! 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love!_" - -"Leave off, you blockhead!" said George Lamb to Elliston. "I will lay -you fifty guineas that you do not repeat one line as Livius has written -it, either in your song or your speech." - -Elliston appeared to agree, and give up the matter as hopeless, for, -darting from the pianoforte towards Livius's young, female friend, who -still continued at table, he gave her such an ardent embrace that she -was quite frightened, and then, as I sat next, he conferred the same -honour on me. - -"Good heavens! what a mountebank is here!" said I, pushing him from me. - -George Lamb sat next; for he had not half finished his supper. Elliston -placed himself in a theatrical attitude ready to embrace him. - -"And, as to you, my George!" said he, with much pathos. - -"For God's sake," exclaimed George Lamb, with his mouth full of dried -cherries, "for God's sake, do not play the fool with me!" - -Elliston now seated himself by my side, and said, in a whisper, "Don't -you want tea?" - -"No, but you do, I see," answered I, and I had the charity to request -Livius to give me some tea. - -Elliston did the honours of the tea-table. The tea had a surprising -effect in making him stupid; because it made him sober. He politely -offered me his private box for Livius's night, and regretted that it -was not a better one. It was a large box, on the stage; but rather too -high up. Livius had a private box to himself, and tickets for a host of -friends. - -"It is three o'clock," said I, at last, "and I dare not risk my _petite -sante_, another instant." - -"Good people are so scarce!" added George Lamb. - -"No," I added, "I am good for very little. You will find better people -every day, and wiser; but nobody at all like me." - -George Lamb expressed himself quite of this opinion. - -It was past four o'clock in the morning when I got home. - -The Duke of Leinster, Harry De Roos, and Sophia dined with me on -the following day. Just as we were about to sit down to dinner Lord -Deerhurst was announced. - -"Dear me, how tiresome," said Sophia. - -"Do not send him here, pray," said Leinster and de Roos in the same -breath. I went down to ask him what he wanted, and informed him of my -dinner-party, with whom I knew he was unacquainted. - -"Oh, I wish much to know the Duke of Leinster, so pray do introduce me," -said Deerhurst. - -"No," I answered, "I shall do no such thing. That's frank and flat. -If you don't like Sophia to dine here you may, with her consent, take -her away with you, but I will never present you to any friend of mine. -Sophia told you this morning that she was to meet the Duke of Leinster -and his cousin." - -"Certainly," answered Deerhurst, "I have not the slightest objection; -but do, there's a dear good creature, present me to the Duke of -Leinster." - -"You are, in all and everything, the meanest man on earth," was my civil -remark. - -"You refuse then?" said Deerhurst. - -"I do," repeated I impatiently, "and you must now allow me to wish you a -good morning, as we were going to dinner immediately." - -"Then," said Deerhurst, "I must introduce myself, that's all:" and, -disregarding all I could say or do to prevent him, he ran into the -drawing-room, took off his hat with a low bow, and said, - -"Duke, allow me to introduce, and earnestly recommend to your notice, -Viscount Deerhurst." - -The Duke had no pride, and was very mean and stingy, nobody more so; but -he paid his bills, and was what the world calls an honourable man. To -do him common justice, I do not think he would like to break his word, -however much it might be to his interest, and well as he loved money. He -disliked Deerhurst's character, and was too natural and not half polite -enough to conceal his displeasure at being so unceremoniously intruded -upon. He bowed very slightly without speaking, and the smile with which -he greeted his lordship was scarcely perceptible. - -Harry De Roos was as proud as he was shy, and took no sort of notice of -Deerhurst, beyond rising from his chair when his lordship turned from -His Grace to his cousin. - -Deerhurst's stock of assurance was not to be diminished by two mere -boys. He seated himself near Sophia, ever certain of her unqualified -approbation at all events. - -"Well, Soph, my love, are you glad to see me?" - -"Yes, I am very glad indeed," replied Sophia. - -"I'll tell you something, Lord Deerhurst," said I. "I do not like -quarrelling with people and especially in my own house; but, seriously, -I must tell you that these gentlemen expected to meet Sophia and me -only, and your intrusion is really a little cool." - -Sophia said I was quite right, it really was very cool indeed, and she -had heard His Grace request that we would fix on a day when nobody else -was coming. - -"If His Grace will say he wishes to get rid of me I am off," remarked -his lordship. - -What could the easy tempered Leinster do less than declare his happiness -to see him? - -Deerhurst possesses talents and can be very agreeable. He was growing -tired of being cut by so many respectable people; therefore he set about -winning the friendship of the Duke of Leinster. He talked of sailing and -boats, big fiddles and Irish watchmen; praised to the skies such of the -Irish nobility as lived on their estates, and imitated the Irish brogue -as though he had been practising it all the days of his life. Leinster -was delighted with him. - -After dinner, Luttrell called to say that Amy gave her first party -since her confinement, on this evening, and had permitted him to say -that, as it was a mutual convenience that we should meet civilly at -parties, and neither friendship nor intimacy was necessary for that -purpose, she was ready to ratify the engagement made between us a few -years back, to offer me no insult and desired I would go to her in the -course of the evening, and bring as many of my male friends as I pleased. - -I asked Leinster and De Roos if they would like to take me to Amy's with -them. - -"Most willingly," was their answer. - -"Make no apologies for not asking me," said Deerhurst, "for, with all my -impudence, I do not think I could face that tartar of a sister of yours -without a special invitation." - -"Are you fond of looking at jewellery?" I asked Luttrell. - -"Very," answered Luttrell, "and I believe I am rather a good judge too." - -"Then," said I, "Sophia, my dear, if you have brought your jewels with -you, pray ask Mr. Luttrell's opinion of their value." - -Sophia drew from her reticule two smart jewel-boxes, of Love the -jeweller. - -"These are the jewels which were presented to my sister by Viscount -Deerhurst," said I, as I handed them to Mr. Luttrell. - -The box contained a necklace of large green glass-beads, set in yellow -metal. There was a leaden ring, with a blue bead in it, a small -Tunbridge-ware tooth-pick case, with "When this you see, remember me," -superscribed on it, and two brass seals, one with the name of Sophia -on it, the other, with a little winged figure, evidently meant for a -cupid or a parrot; but it was very difficult to decide which it most -resembled. Everybody laughed heartily, but the loudest laugher of our -party was Viscount Deerhurst. - -"And then," said Deerhurst, trying to recover himself, "and then, having -won the young lady by dint of these valuable jewels, Robinson, the -attorney of Bolton street, first draws up an agreement to secure to -her an annuity of three hundred a year, and the next day tells you his -agreement is not worth six-pence!" - -There was only one of our society who carried politeness so far as to -seem amused at such disgusting profligacy. - -Luttrell looked with unqualified contempt on his lordship. Leinster and -De Roos, considering themselves too young to set an example, or reform -the age, fixed their eyes steadily on the carpet, while De Roos's fair -cheek was tinged with a deep blush. Sophia alone joined Lord Deerhurst -in his laugh; declaring that it was very funny to be sure. - -"Lord Deerhurst," said I, "Sophia is my sister, and if she chooses to -submit to insult and ill-usage from you, it shall not be in my house, -where you were not invited." - -Sophia immediately worked herself up into a passion of tears, declaring -that she did not want to be insulted, and would much rather not return -to Lord Deerhurst, who, she was sure, was a very nasty man indeed, and -hardly ever washed his head. - -Deerhurst carelessly declared himself quite ready to support the dire -calamity, and wished, of all things, Sophia would live with her sister -Harriette. - -"The man is not worth a thought, much less a tear," said I to Sophia. -"You are welcome to my house as long as I have one to share with you; in -the meantime let us drive to Amy's." - -Sophia did not accompany us; but retired with Lord Deerhurst, who had -remarked in her ear that I was jealous and wanted him myself. - -"I think Harriette is a little jealous really, so I'll go home with you, -to make her mad," said Sophia. - -And off they went. - -Amy's drawing-room was quite full. She looked very well, and fairer, -as well as less fierce, than before her confinement. Fanny appeared -unusually lovely, dressed in a pale pink crape dress, which set off -her rosy, white, delicate skin, to the greatest advantage; and with her -unadorned bright auburn curls, waving carelessly around her laughing, -dark blue eyes and beautiful throat, she seemed the most desirable -object in the room. Julia was very fair too; perhaps her skin was whiter -than Fanny's and of quite as delicate a texture; but it had not the -vermillion tinge, and the blue veins were less defined. Both were of the -highest order of fine forms. They were also of the same height, which -was that best adapted to perfect symmetry; their feet and ancles were -alike models for the statuary's art, and Fanny's shoes fitted Julia as -well as her own; but Fanny's hair was dark and more glossy than Julia's. -Fanny's teeth were beautiful, while Julia's, though strong, were uneven; -and Fanny's smile was infinitely more attractive than Julia's, whose -countenance was in fact, as I think I have before mentioned, rather -harsh than pleasing. Yet there was such a decided resemblance in their -_tout ensemble_, that everybody mistook Julia for Fanny's elder sister. - -This evening Julia, I suppose with a view to outshine us all, wore a -dress of white silvered lama on gauze, and a Turkish turban of bright -blue, fringed with gold. There was a voluptuous and purely effeminate -languor about Julia's character, which was well adapted to the eastern -style of dress. The large, strait, gauze sleeve did not at all conceal -the symmetry of her beautiful arm. Fanny's dimpled arms were quite -uncovered, and encircled with elegant but simple bracelets, composed of -plaited hair, clasped with a magnificently brilliant ruby. They were -both infinitely graceful. Fanny would lay her laughing face on her -folded arms, reclining on a table, while she made some odd reflections, -or she would fasten her pocket-handkerchief or her shawl across her head -and ears, when she felt the air affect her head, without inquiring of -her glass whether she had thus added to or diminished her attractions: -yet everything became her; or rather all were determined to think -faultless, her in whose beautiful eyes shone the warmest philanthropy, -whose every word and action proved the desire she ever felt to make -others appear to advantage. - -Julia's attitudes, though graceful, were studied and luxurious; but -always modest and effeminate. - -Amy wore a yellow satin dress, fastened round the waist with a gold -band. Her profuse raven locks were entirely unadorned, and her neck, -arms and fingers were covered with glittering jewels of every colour. -My own evening dresses were invariably composed of rich, figured, white -French gauze over white satin; and I never wore any ornaments in my -hair, of which I was not a little proud; but my earrings were of unusual -length, and consisted of diamonds, rubies and turquoise stones. A Mrs. -Armstrong, whom Amy had lately patronised, was of the party. She was the -_chere amie_ Colonel Armstrong, an aide-de-camp of the Duke of York. It -was said of the duchess, that she carried her charity so far as to send -yearly presents to the mistress of her royal husband's aide-de-camp, -but if this were really true, I have always heard that, in all but -the ceremony of marriage, the mother of Colonel Armstrong's children, -from her steady adherence to her protector during seven years, and her -resistance of temptation, which assailed her in every shape, deserved -the encouragement of the great and the good. - -In spite of the strict economy which she invariably practised, the -colonel had lately decided that his circumstances would not, in common -prudence, admit of his running the slightest risk of increasing his -family. - -"We will be excellent friends, my love," said he, to his better half, -"but friends only." - -This may be very easy at the age of fifty, but his Lucy was still in the -prime of youth, and old as he was she loved her Tommy dearly, and was -very melancholy at his determination. - -"We cannot have separate beds you know, my dear," said Lucy; "because -there is not a spare bed in the house." - -"That is true, my love," answered her Tommy, "but it really must be all -the same." - -Lucy sighed heavily. - -"Go and visit your friend Amy, my dear," said the kind colonel, "it will -enliven you; and since our family is not to be increased, I can afford -to put my last dozen of shirts out to be made. Now that our boy William -can run alone, there is no necessity for my poor Lucy making such a -slave of herself." - -"Alas!" thought poor Lucy, "I am terribly afraid of being tempted in -Amy's gay society;" but she did not say so. - -Lucy was a very neat, lady-like little creature, who used to wear -very fine muslin gowns, ornamented with her own beautiful embroidery. -Her teeth were extremely white and regular, and her lips of bright -vermilion; but I could not discern any other beauty in her. Nevertheless -she was a great favourite with the men, and would make fifty conquests -while Julia was bungling with one. Lucy had a way of disarming the -most impudent, when they attempted to take the slightest liberty with -her: not by her dignified deportment, nor by her wit; but by the mere -simplicity of her truly modest carriage, which was so far removed from -prudery that nobody knew how to offend her. - -This evening was set apart for dancing, and Fanny and Julia being the -very best dancers in the room were in their glory. - -All the world were, or wished they were there, but many could not get -further than the passage, the whole house being so crammed. Among others -was the man they call the dancing Montgomery, although perhaps I do him -too much honour by putting him in print; he was such a slovenly unlicked -cub, of what particular family I am ignorant; but it was clear this man -had originally been designed by nature for a lout, only he went to -Paris and came home a dancer, every inch of him below the girdle. As -for his shoulders and arms they continued as before; Frenchmen cannot -work miracles like German princes! but they converted into a fop this -ready-made clown, to the utter discomfiture of our gauzes and Indian -muslins, which were sure to suffer, as often as we ventured to employ -him to hand us tea, negus, or orgeat. - -"Would you like to dance?" said George Brummell, to Mrs. Armstrong, _en -passant._ - -"I have only just left off," answered she, rising, and curtseying with -much politeness; "but I am never tired of dancing." - -"You have a dancing face," Brummell quietly observed, fixing his eyes -steadily on her countenance for a second or two, and then passing on. - -Poor Lucy, she afterwards declared to us, was never so ashamed and -humbled since she had been born. - -All this time, Montgomery's thick straight locks were steadily beating -time on his watery forehead, as he trod the mazy dance with all his -might, footing it away most scholastically. He did indeed dance -famously; but then he was always out at the elbows, which appeared to -have no connection whatever with his feet, particularly on this eventful -night, when one of his elbows came in such neighbourly contact with the -eye of the poor Duc de Berri, who was just entering the room, while -Montgomery was swinging short corners near the door, as sent his Royal -Highness reeling backwards. - -_Tout le monde fut au desespoir!_ - -"_Mon Dieu! Quel malheur, monsieur le duc!_" said Amy. - -"_Rien, rien du tout_," answered the good-natured Duc de Berri, holding -his handkerchief to his eye. - -"_Il y a tant de monde ici, ce soir, et la salle n'est pas grande, -comme vous voyez, monsieur_," said Fanny, to His Highness; as usual -endeavouring to excuse and conciliate all parties. - -"_Ma fois! je n'y vois goutte!_" said the duke, laughing, with his -handkerchief still before his eyes. - -Montgomery came forward to express his regrets; but it was plain, from -his manner, that he did not at all attribute the accident to anything -like awkwardness on the part of himself or his elbows, of which he -seemed not a part. However, I do not mean to depreciate Mr. Montgomery's -dancing in the least; only do but give him elbow-room and he will -astonish you! - -Mr. Quintin Dick of Curzon Street Mayfair was now announced, and -contrived to make his way towards Amy. - -Quintin Dick is a man of fifteen or twenty thousand a year; at least, -so I guess; for there is no subject on which people are more likely -to be mistaken in than that of private finances. However, in spite of -his fortune, Quintin Dick is and has been one of the most unpopular -men within the United Kingdom. By birth an Irishman, by trade a -linen-draper, no, by-the-bye, I am wrong, it was his father, who, they -say, dealt in linen, not Quintin himself, carroty Quintin, of whom -I cannot say I ever knew any particular harm. I however took it for -granted that he was mean and vilely shabby, having never heard two -opinions on that point. - -I remember Colonel Armstrong telling me one day at Brighton, that the -woman who ever got a shilling or a shilling's worth out of Mr. Quintin -Dick, ought to be immortalised. I immediately resolved to make the -attempt. Meeting Dick the next morning on the Steyne, I told him that I -had taken a fancy to an article of millinery, which I was at that moment -too poor to purchase, though the price of it was under five pounds. Can -it be credited! he actually requested permission to send it home! - -Armstrong would not believe me till I showed him the receipt. _Au -reste_, Quintin is the man to whom somebody is said to have remarked, -observing that he wore the wrist-bands of his shirt-sleeves so -fashionably low as to pass his knuckles, "I am sorry, Mr. Dick, to see -that you have so much linen on hand." It strikes me however, that this -must be a joke of a hundred years old. No matter. He came this evening -to ask us three sisters, as well as Julia and Mrs. Armstrong, to dine -with him on the approaching Saturday. - -"Who are your men?" I asked. - -"Lords Hertford and Alvanly, the Hon. J. Ward, Nugent, Luttrell, and -another man or two, whose names I have forgotten," Dick replied. - -We all accepted his invitation on account of his party. For himself, he -was a man of very few words. In fact, he scarcely ever spoke at all; and -when he did he attempted to be satirical; but his were the very worst -attempts I ever heard. - -Montagu, the relation of the lady in Gloucester Place, of -chimney-sweeping notoriety, assisted to keep up the spirit of the dance. -Ward walked about, repeating Greek and Latin verses to himself as usual. -He made love to Amy and Fanny alternately. I once knew a mistress of -his, nay two! Perhaps I may tell you what sort of a character they gave -him some other time. Napier came sneaking and grinning into the room, -and informed us that either Lord Bath or Lord Bathurst, I forget which, -was bringing him into parliament. - -"More shame for you, who ought not to have given up your independence -for millions," said I. "You cannot now vote against the man who gives -you a seat." - -Napier showed his teeth, merely observing, "You have such a comical way -of talking to one." - -Lord Fife now came sailing up the room, and all the women immediately -made up to him. "My lord," said one, "have you spoken to the manager -about bringing my young friend out at the opera house this season?" - -"Yes, yes," said Fife, nodding his head, "I saw him to-day; he expects -her. When you take her to him, send in my card and he will receive you -well." - -"Dear Lord Fife," said another, "we want to go to Elliston's masquerade." - -"Certainly, certainly, to be sure," answered the good-natured Fife, -still nodding assent, "I will send you tickets to-morrow." - -"And I," said Amy, "want a box at Covent Garden on Monday." - -"To be sure, to be sure," still continued the promising earl. - -"Lord Fife," said I, "Sir Harcourt Lees wants to shoot grouse this -season, on your estate in the North." - -"To be sure, tell me when he goes, and I'll give him a letter to my -brother." - -"I know an excellent old Frenchwoman," said Mrs. Armstrong, "who wants -you to buy a watch of hers." - -"Let her come to me in the morning, to be sure! to be sure!" - -I could not help laughing at Lord Fife. "Why what a good-natured man you -are," said I. - -"Oh!" answered Fife, "I have such female _levees_ every morning, you'd -be surprised. People of the first respectability, I assure you, do me -the honour to come when they want money." - -"How very condescending," said I. - -"Too much so sometimes, I can tell you," answered Fife, "for one morning -last week, I gave L500 among them; but this, you know, will not quite -do every morning: besides time, time is what I regret; they take up all -my time, I can't get out. It is often past seven before I can get in my -carriage, for the life of me, and then I lose my dinner to get out at -all." - -"Why don't you make your servants deny you?" said I. - -"Why I tried that, but then my valet denied me one day to a charming -creature whom I wished of all things to see, and I was obliged to open -my doors to them all again, lest this sweet girl should re-visit me, and -a second time be refused." - -I think it was on this evening I saw Colonel Parker for the first time. -He appeared to have seriously attached himself to my sister Fanny. -He was an officer in the Artillery, and a near relation to Lady Hyde -Parker, I believe. I was anxious to see poor Fanny comfortably settled, -and her tastes being all so quiet and her temper so amiable, I knew -that riches were by no means necessary to her felicity. Colonel Parker -possessed a comfortable independence, and was very anxious to have Fanny -entirely under his protection. "She shall bear my name, and I will show -her all the respect a wife can require, and she shall always find me a -gentleman," said he. I could not however help thinking that Fanny, with -her strictly honest principles, her modest, amiable character, and her -beauty, ought to have been Parker's wife instead of his mistress, and -therefore I did not advise her to live with him. His person was elegant; -fine teeth and fine hair were however all he had to boast of in the way -of beauty; but Fanny did not like handsome men, and appeared very much -to admire and esteem Colonel Parker. I do not exactly know what age man -he was; but I should think him under thirty. - -I could not but observe the gay Montagu and his wonderful luck in -addressing himself to witty persons. He was now laughing himself almost -into hysterics at something Mr. Dick said to him at one of the windows. -Then I heard him say, "Capital! charming!" in answer to something which -the Duc de Berri had said. At last I saw him talking to Leinster. -"This will decide it," said I to myself; "for if he says anything is -excellent, or charming, or capital, that His Grace utters, I know what -I will do." I had scarcely settled the business in my own mind, when -I saw Montagu blowing his nose in an agony of laughter at something -superexcellent, which he declared the poor bog-trotter Leinster had -uttered. This was too much, well as I love a civil man; so, calling -Montagu to my side, after having placed myself close to some noisy -people, who were talking and gesticulating with all their might, I asked -him if he had heard an excellent story about Amy and Harry Mildmay. - -"No, but pray tell it me directly: it must be so very excellent." - -"Listen then," said I, and I began to laugh and to say "you must know -Amy met Mildmay in the park;" and then I went on with a few unconnected -words, affecting suitable action, and to be half dead, or quite choked -with laughter. So far from repeating anything like a story I did not -connect two words of common sense together; and if I had, we were in -such a noisy neighbourhood I could not have been heard, yet Montagu, -with equal reason, once more gave full play to his risible faculties, -and appeared quite as delighted with my story as he had been with -Leinster's, declaring aloud it was the very best thing he had ever heard -in his whole life. - -But I am tired of this party of Amy's, therefore my kind readers will -permit me to change the subject. - -The next day, I was remarking to my young admirer, the Duke of Leinster, -that life was nothing without a little love; and then begged him to say -who was best worth having. - -"I think the Duchess of Beaufort's brother, Lord George Leveson Gower, -the most desirable man I ever saw," said Leinster. - -"How is one to obtain a sight of your beauty?" - -"I cannot assist you; and if I could I would not," His Grace replied. - -"I do not care," said I to myself, after Leinster had left me, "I am not -going to sit down all my life to love this fool. I must have something -for the mind to feed on." - -I was interrupted while making these wise reflections by a visit from -Wellington. - -"Here is a thing in the shape of an intellectual companion," thought I. - -After Wellington had left me I entirely forgot him: nay, before; for I -now recollect that he said something about my bad taste in talking on -subjects irrelevant to what was going on; such as a remark I might have -made about my rose-tree or my dinner, when I ought to have been all -soul! No matter! The soul's fire is partly kept alive by dinner; or, -whether it is or not, still dinner, or even a rose-tree, is infinitely -more interesting than the Wellington! - -First love is all in all, say a great many writers, and a great many -more old maids, particularly ugly ones, who have been courted only once -for first and last, and must even make the best of it. For my own part, -if I am to credit the quiet, unimpassioned assertion of the Duke of -Argyle, who knew human nature well, after the hey-day of mere blind love -was over, I must believe myself not naturally given to change. - -"Harriette," said Argyle, "is more steady in her attachments than almost -any woman of her celebrity, so surrounded with flatterers, whom I have -ever met with." - -Of course, my fair readers would not have me guilty of such extreme -ill-breeding as to differ in opinion from a noble duke! Nevertheless, I -confess that I had only ceased to love one, who was bound for life to -another, and who had most cruelly trifled with my feelings, while he -took a most unfair advantage of my youth, of my warmth of heart, and of -my total lack of experience. - -I now felt _le besoin d'aimer_, with almost the same ardour as when I -used to follow the handsome stranger and his large dog, which induces me -to believe, that never did a fair lady die of love for one man, whilst -others equally amiable were dying for her smiles. - -In a fit of folly I wrote a letter to Lord G.L. Gower, requesting him -to come and meet me in the Regent's Park at eleven o'clock on a Sunday -morning; at the same time assuring him, that desirous as I was, from all -I had heard of his perfections, to make his acquaintance, yet, if he -expected to please me, he must show me just as much respect and humble -deference, as though I had not ordered him up to Marylebone Fields to be -looked at. - -Lord G.L. Gower's reply was: - - "I do not usually answer such letters; but there is something - so eccentric and uncommon in yours, that I cannot resist complying - with your request, therefore you will find me at the appointed time - and place. - - "G.L. GOWER." - - -As the hour drew near for fulfilling my engagement in the Regent's Park, -I recollected that I did not in the least know the person of Lord G.L. -Gower, and felt much puzzled how I should contrive to distinguish him -from any handsome man who might happen to be enjoying the fresh air -towards Primrose Hill. However, trusting to chance, or sympathy, or -that instinct by which, according to Falstaff, the lion knows the true -prince, I dressed myself with unusual care and contrived to be punctual. -I observed a tall, rather handsome and gentlemanly man looking about -him; but as I felt at once that he was not in any respect cut out for -the honour of filling up the void in my heart, I prayed the God of Love -to send me a better subject. - -However, there was nothing to be seen at that early hour on Sunday -morning which in the least resembled a gentleman, or even, in their -Sunday new coats and bran new yellow leather gloves, could be mistaken -for one, that came within a mile of me. - -"This must be Leinster's Apollo," said I. How could I address myself to -such a booby? True, this man may perhaps have a certain indescribable -charm about him, a _je ne sais quoi_, which may not be discoverable at -the first glance! I ventured to raise my eyes to his face, and, if I did -not laugh, I looked as though I was thinking about it; and on this he -spoke and smiled, and blushed, and bowed. - -I conceived that, having brought a man up to Marylebone Fields on such -a terribly hot morning, it would not have been fair or lady-like to have -dismissed him, until I had given his talents and powers of pleasing a -fair trial. I walked him up to the tip-top of Primrose Hill, and then -towards Hampstead, and then back again to Great Portland Street. - -At last his lordship made a full stop, while he took off his hat to wipe -his face, declaring he could go no further, as he was quite unaccustomed -to walking and the sun was so very oppressive. He therefore entreated -that I would permit him to accompany me immediately to my house, if only -to sit down and rest, or otherwise he apprehended--fever or sudden death! - -I assured him I was sorry, very sorry, and hoped such fatal consequences -would not follow our little rural bit of pleasure; at the same time I -could only express my regrets, while I frankly declared to him that he -was not in the least the sort of person I wanted. - -Lord George L. Gower was too proud, too well-looking, to be deeply -wounded at my determination, so he smiled, and bowed, and wished me -good morning, declaring himself much amused with the eccentricity and -frankness of my character. - -It will not do, I see, to lay one's self out for love, thought I, after -his lordship had left me. It comes, like money, when one is not thinking -about it. Reading is a much more independent amusement than loving. -Books one may cut, when one is tired of them; so I began immediately on -arriving home with Lady Mary Wortley Montagu's _Letters_. The style was -very unequal I thought: now paltry and ungraceful, now elevated. The -same observations were applicable to the sentiments she expressed. In -some letters one would accuse her of being both indecent and profligate; -in others she displayed herself as the most refined, elegant and -delicate of her sex. I read as far as this passage:--"Our vulgar notions -that Mahomet did not own women to have any souls, is a mistake. It is -true, he says they are not of so elevated a kind, and therefore must -not hope to be admitted into the paradise appointed for the men, who -are to be entertained by celestial beauties. But there is a place of -happiness destined for souls of the inferior order, where all good women -are to be in eternal bliss. Any woman that dies unmarried is looked upon -to die in a state of reprobation. To confirm this, I believe they reason -that the end of the creation of woman is to increase and multiply, and -that she is only properly employed in the works of her calling, when she -is bringing forth children, or taking care of them, which is all the -virtue God expects of her." - -I threw the book down at this passage, beginning to feel very much -ashamed of myself; I rang my bell, and sent to my bookseller for the -"History of Mahomet," hoping that most prolific prophet would put me in -the way of obeying his commands in case, after duly studying his laws, I -were disposed to turn Turk. - -I seriously determined to choose my own religion, instead of following -blindly that which happened to be my father's. If this determination be -sinful, I must still think it ever has been, and ever will be the sin -of all intelligent minds. The uneducated child, or the rudest clown who -earns his hard fare by the sweat of his brow, and whistles as he returns -home for want of thought, will give the same answers, when you ask why -they say their prayers, namely, "Because the parson says I ought." Will -it not occur to them that accident has had much to do with their being -Christians, or Jews, or Turks? Will not they be aware of the force of -early impressions, good or bad, and, if but to impress on their mind the -wisdom and justice, as well as the superiority of the religion they were -born in, will they not compare it steadily with that of the greater part -of the creation? It may be answered that all religions are good, and we -have but to act up to our belief of what is right, which is all that -justice can require of us: yet will the ardent mind, while suffering -under the various ills which flesh is heir to, be led to doubt and to -search eagerly into the reason why a just God, who is our father, has -created us for so much misery. - -I pondered a whole night on these expressive words of Lord Byron, in his -"Childe Harold": - - Our life is a false nature, 'tis not in - The harmony of things--this hard decree, - This uneradicable taint of sin, - This boundless Upas, this all blasting tree, - Whose root is earth, whose leaves and branches - The skies, which rain their plagues on me like dew, - Disease, death, bondage--all the woes we see not, which - throbs through - The immedicable soul, with heart-aches ever new. - Yet, let us ponder boldly--'tis a base - Abandonment of reason, to resign - Our right of thought--our last and only place - Of refuge; this at least, shall still be mine: - Though, from our birth, the faculty divine - Is charmed and tortured--cabin'd, cribb'd, confined, - And bred in darkness, lest the truth should shine - Too brightly, in the unprepared mind, - The beam pours in, for time and skill will couch the blind. - -However all my time, and all my pondering, and all my skill, only -confirmed me the more steadily in this opinion--that I know nothing -about it. - -I had long been sentimentally in love with Lord Byron, and some years -previous to the publication of the last canto of "Childe Harold," I had -written to him to solicit the honour of his acquaintance. - -"If, my lord," said I, in my letter, "to have been cold and indifferent -to every other modern poet, while I have passed whole nights in studying -your productions with the eagerness of one who has discovered a new -source of enjoyment as surprising as it was delightful, deserves -gratitude from the vanity of an author, or the gallantry of a gentleman, -you will honour me with a little of your friendship." - -Would you believe, reader, this eloquent epistle obtained me no answer -during three long days? I was furious, and wrote again to tell him that -he was a mere pedant; that my common sense was a match for his fine -rhymes; that the best of us poor weak mortals--and I acknowledged him to -be at the head of the list--must still be ignorant, subject to sickness, -ill-temper, and various errors in judgment, therefore was there little -excuse for his impertinence, in presuming to find fault with the whole -world, as he had done in his "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers," at -an age when his natural judgment could not be matured. It was vulgar, -and showed the littleness which some want of philanthropy towards our -poor fellow creatures always must evince. Was he really so superior, and -would he crush the poor worms which dared not aspire to his perfections? -Or was he but a mere upstart man, of extraordinary genius, without -strength of mind to know what he would be at? Could he not, at least, -have declined the honour I wanted to confer on him, civilly? - -This eloquent letter ended simply thus, after assuring him that it was -now much too late to make my acquaintance, as I had changed my mind -and no longer desired it the least in the world--like the fox and the -grapes-- - - "you be hang'd! - "HARRIETTE WILSON." - -This, to a favourite, was tolerably severe; but when I take a liking -to a person I must and will be something to them; so if they will not -like me I always make it my business and peculiar care that they shall -dislike and quarrel with me. Let me once get them into a quarrel and I -am sure of them. - -The next day I received the following answer from Lord Byron, dated -Albany, Piccadilly. - - "If my silence has hurt 'your pride or your feelings,' to use - your own expressions, I am very sorry for it; be assured that such - effect was far from my intention. Business, and some little bustle - attendant on changing my residence, prevented me from thanking you - for your letter as soon as I ought to have done. If my thanks do - not displease you now, pray accept them. I could not feel otherwise - than obliged by the desire of a stranger to make my acquaintance. - - "I am not unacquainted with your name or your beauty, and I - have heard much of your talents; but I am not the person whom you - would like, either as a lover or a friend. I did not, and do not - 'suspect you,' to use your own words once more, of any design of - making love to me. I know myself well enough to acquit any one, - who does not know me, and still more those who do, from any such - intention. I am not of a nature to be loved, and so far, luckily - for myself, I have no wish to be so. In saying this, I do not - mean to affect any particular stoicism, and may possibly, at one - time or other, have been liable to those follies for which you - sarcastically tell me I have now no time: but these, and everything - else, are to me at present objects of indifference; and this is a - good deal to say, at six-and-twenty. You tell me that you wished - to know me better; because you liked my writing. I think you must - be aware that a writer is in general very different from his - productions, and always disappoints those who expect to find in him - qualities more agreeable than those of others; I shall certainly - not be lessened in my vanity as a scribbler, by the reflection - that a work of mine has given you pleasure; and, to preserve the - impression in its favour, I will not risk your good opinion by - inflicting my acquaintance upon you. - - "Very truly your obliged servant. - "B." - -This was very dry; but, I had not aspired to Lord Byron's love and I did -not despair of making his acquaintance. I am indeed surprised that I -never fell in love with his lordship; but, certain it is, that, though -I would have given anything to have been his most humble friend and -servant, his beauty was of a nature never to inspire me with warmer -sentiments. - -There was nothing whatever voluptuous in the character of it; it was -wholly intellectual: and as such I honoured it; but give me for my lover -an indolent being who, while he possesses talents and genius to do -anything he pleases, pleases himself most and best in pleasing me! _Au -reste_, I admire and look up to heroes, but indolent men make the best -lovers. - -I was a long while before I could convince Lord Byron that as a lover he -would never have suited me; and really did not excite any passion in my -breast; but, from the moment I had succeeded, his lordship threw off all -reserve and wrote and spoke to me with the confidence of easy friendship -and good-will, as though he had been delighted to find a woman capable -of friendship, to whose vanity it was not at all necessary to administer -by saying soft things to her. - - - - -CHAPTER XIV - - -On the Thursday which was to be big with the fate of Livius's farce, I -took a party of friends to Mr. Elliston's private box. Drury Lane was -crowded. Livius had at least eight people in the small box allotted -to him by the manager. He paid me a flying visit and seemed as much -agitated as though he were about to be tried for high treason. I -proposed changing boxes with him, to accommodate his friends. He was -highly delighted, and the exchange was made, much, I believe, to the -annoyance of Mr. Elliston, though I knew not why it grieved him. - -Livius's piece commenced almost as soon as we were quietly seated -again. He was certainly much indebted to the exertions of all the very -excellent performers who played in it, particularly Elliston and Harley. -The piece went off with spirit. I never saw a poor man tremble as Livius -did during the first act. "Who would write for the stage?" thought -I. Livius was all over the house at once; both before and behind the -scenes. He could not rest anywhere. - -"Do sit down," said I, handing him a chair. "Let the public be hanged! -What great crime would there be if your little piece happened not to be -to their taste?" - -"Oh, fancy," said Livius, "the agitation of coming thus before the -public for the first time!" - -"Fiddlestick!" said I. - -He was now growing a little more tranquil, while Elliston was charming -away his fears, as well as the _ennui_ of the audience. It was at that -part where he expresses his rapture at the beauty and loveliness of -his valet's wife, while the unfortunate husband, so well represented -by Harley, stands in an agony behind his master's chair, not daring to -acknowledge his marriage for fear of losing his place. - -The piece to be performed next was _The Coronation._ A man in the pit, -at that moment when Elliston ought to have been most pathetic, mounted -the boards which were erected down the middle of the pit, I suppose to -obtain a better view. - -"You must not stand there, sir," vociferated Elliston to the man, in a -loud angry voice, in the midst of his love-speech, to the utter dismay -of poor Livius, who absolutely gasped for breath. - -Sams, who was Livius's publisher, was in my box, and ventured to hiss, -which example was followed by a faint vibration from the pit. The -valet's wife looked rather silly at being thus cut by her admiring -swain. Elliston came forward, as though ashamed of his impetuosity, and, -gracefully bowing, addressed the audience somewhat to this effect: - -"As manager and proprietor of this theatre, I must request and desire -that none of you gentlemen mount those boards," and then, with all -the impudence of the most perfect nonchalance, he turned round to his -neglected fair one, and resumed his vows of love from where he had left -off. - -"Elliston is very drunk," said poor Livius, looking as pale as a ghost -with dread of what might follow. - -"Not so very drunk yet, neither," said I, "since he has to play again, -in _The Coronation_ to-night." - -"Oh!" said Livius, shaking his head mournfully, "Elliston always plays -the king most naturally when he is most drunk." - -"I have no doubt," answered I, "that Elliston plays his part best when -he has been drinking, since he is always so excessively stupid and dull -when sober. Except this trifling interruption, your little piece has -gone off without a single accident or blunder; so be calm, man!" - -Livius told me that he was about to bring out a young lady of infinite -talent as a singer. "She is in my private box, and Elliston has promised -to hear her best song, from the pit, after the audience have left the -house to-night." - -I asked if I might remain to hear her. - -"Certainly," said Livius, "and for that purpose I will conduct you to a -private pit-box. The young lady is to sing on the stage." - -Livius's piece was announced for the next night, amidst loud plaudits. - -We may guess that Livius naturally had a vast number of his own friends -among the audience. It was in fact a very trifling production, and -yet it was dramatic. However I never heard of it after it had run its -allotted time, though I think I have seen many worse things last longer. - -I thought that I too perhaps might find amusement in writing something -from the French for the stage--so I, some days afterwards, fixed upon -Moliere's comedy of the _Malade Imaginaire_, which I hastily transformed -into an English three-act piece. - -But I forgot to mention what became of Livius's _protegee_. - -After the audience had left the theatre, Livius handed me downstairs -to a pit-box, saying, "I must now leave you to attend my poor, timid, -young friend." The lamps and candles were all extinguished, when -Elliston threw himself along the benches in the pit. Soon afterwards -Livius came upon the stage, now lighted by a single lamp, conducting -a very ill-favoured young lady in a shawl. She began to sing very -scientifically, but her voice was not pleasing. Study had done much for -her, while nature had been a niggard. - -Elliston appeared to be going to sleep, as soon as he had heard the -first verse of a most barbarously long song; but, accidentally observing -me, he climbed up to my box from the pit, making a noise, which -altogether discouraged the poor young lady by this rude inattention to -her melody. - -"Why do not you play harlequin?" said I. - -"I am too old," he replied: and then asked me how the farce went off. - -"Famously," I replied. "I see you know how to profit by my advice, and -you made fewer faces. But you took a great liberty with the public, -when you began scolding the audience, instead of minding what you were -engaged in," I observed to him. - -"What business had that man to stick himself up there?" Elliston asked. - -"From sympathy! He was looking at a mountebank!" - -During the whole of this time, the poor young lady was exerting herself -by the light of her solitary lamp, _a pure perte!_ - -"It is really unmanly," I observed, "to be so unfeelingly inattentive to -a beginner, and one of the fair sex." - -"Oh!" whispered Elliston, "Livius wants to father all his old -sweethearts on me, I believe. I do not allude to this lady," said he, -laughing, "it would be a libel on herself, and on mankind, to doubt her -respectability; but then she cannot sing, and what is worse, he is going -to bring me up three or four more next week." - -Oh, _mon Dieu!_ it has just occurred to me, that to have told this story -of Elliston and Livius, in due time, it ought not to have come in these -eight years at soonest; and I must now go back with my Memoirs; but what -does it signify to my readers, the story will do as well, and amuse as -much now, as later on; and if this book meets due encouragement, I may -write something afterwards, with infinitely more regularity. - - * * * * * - -"It is all settled," said Fanny to me, on the night before Mr. Dick's -dinner-party, "and I am to be Mrs. Parker." - -"I hope you will be happy," said I; "but I wish you were married." - -"Why should poor Parker marry a woman with a ready-made family?" asked -Fanny. - -I declined offering an opinion, fearing to do harm. - -Fanny was four years my senior, and possessed perhaps a larger portion -of what is called common sense than myself. _Au reste_, the thing -was settled between her and Parker, who were to proceed together to -Portsmouth, where Colonel Parker's regiment was stationed, after they -had passed a fortnight at Brighton. - -"Suppose we make a party, and hire a house for you and Julia and me?" - -"The very thing I wish," said Fanny; "for London is growing very stupid. -We meet no one but the Hon. Colonel Collyer and Lord Petersham about the -streets." - -"Oh, yes," said I, "we also see Lady Heathcote and Lady Ann Wyndham." - -"And that makes it worse still," added Fanny, "for I really believe -neither of those good ladies has missed Hyde Park or the Opera, one -single night for the last twenty years, or changed the colour of their -chariot blinds; Heathcote, rosy red! and the gentle Ann's interesting -yellow! How very tired I am of seeing these women!" - -Julia called on me before Fanny had left, and our little excursion to -Brighton was fixed for the following week. - -When we had settled this important affair, my servant informed me that -a lady requested to offer herself in the place of Miss Hawkes, my late -_dame de compagnie_, who had just left me to be married to her cousin. -I desired him to show her upstairs. She came tripping into the room -with the step of a child. She wore short petticoats, and a small French -bonnet stuck at the top of her head. I should imagine her age to have -been about forty: indeed she owned to six-and-twenty. - -"Who will recommend you, pray, madam?" - -"The Countess Palmella, wife of the Portuguese Ambassador, in South -Audley Street; I have been educating her children." - -I asked if the countess's had been her first situation. - -She replied in the affirmative. - -"What were you doing before that, pray, ma'am?" - -"Why," said the lady, with much affectation, "you see I was daily, nay -hourly, expecting to get settled in life. I had a small property and I -went to Bath. Several of my friends had found charming husbands at Bath. -However, time slipped away madam, and by some strange fatality or other -I exhausted my little resources, and did not manage to get settled in -life: that is the truth of it." - -It stuck me that this curious woman with the odd bonnet, would amuse me -as well as any other lion, _pour le moment_, and being acquainted with -Amy's poor beau the Count Palmella, I told her she might come to me the -following day. - -She seemed absolutely enraptured, as though mine had been an atmosphere -which would rain men upon her, and our bargain was concluded. She was -a straight, tall, long-backed lath of a woman, with a remarkably long -face, small twinkling eyes, fine hair, and a bad skin, in spite of the -white paint she used to beautify it. So much for Miss Eliza Higgins. - -The next evening found us all quite _rayonnante_, waiting for our dinner -in Mr. Dick's elegant drawing-room. - -"We will certainly not wait for Mr. Ward," said Dick, looking at his -watch. - -"To be sure not, who the devil waits for men?" exclaimed Lord Alvanly. - -There was a thundering rap at the door, and then entered the Honourable -Mr. Ward, looking for all the world like a tobacconist. He was followed -by his servant to the very door of the drawing-room. He hoped he had -kept nobody waiting. - -"To be sure not," said Alvanly, "who the devil would wait for you?" - -"I would, all my life, and with all imaginable patience," I observed. - -"Ha! ha!" said Ward, growing pale, while he affected to be amused. - -"But, my excellent friend Dick," said Ward, "I must send back a note by -my servant, who is waiting for it." - -"Why," said Dick, "the servants are going to serve the dinner -immediately, and I should rather prefer your going into my dressing-room -to write your note." - -"I thank you," said Ward, with much asperity, "I thank you all the same; -but I prefer having the paper here, with your permission. With your -permission, mind, Dick!" - -"You may ring, if you please," said Dick carelessly, and then, I -believe, retired for the express purpose of desiring his footman not to -answer the bell. This I only surmise, from his remarking to me in an -undertone afterwards, that Ward gave more trouble than all the rest of -the party put together, and he was delighted that the footman did not -attend his summons. - -Mr. Dick handed me down to dinner. Lord Hertford took care of Amy, -Alvanly was ever Fanny's most obedient humble servant, and Ward held -out his finger to Mrs. Armstrong; because Amy was better provided for -Luttrell was, as usual unless some one bored or offended him, the life -and spirit of the whole party, when Ward would let him alone; but he was -often interrupted by that learned gentleman's bawling from the top to -the bottom of a large table, his Latin _bon mots_, at which he himself, -_solus_, laughed always most vociferously. He frequently addressed -himself to our favourite Luttrell, not being so sure of any other man's -Greek and Latin. - -"What a misfortune for you," said I to Luttrell, "that the little figure -at the top of the table has faith in your classical knowledge," and -then, addressing myself to Ward, "Friend," said I, "we, at this end of -the table, have all forgotten our Latin." - -"Dick!" said Ward, whom I had put out of humour, "there would be no harm -in ordering a few coals. I'm starved." - -"Why, really," answered Dick, "the fire cannot be better, nor will that -grate hold any more coals." - -"That's your opinion, not mine;" and Ward affected to laugh, as though -he had said something witty. - -I praised the very unaffected character of Lord Robert Manners to -Nugent, who sat next to me. - -"Ah!" squeaked out the reptile Ward, "stand up for Bob Manners, for I -know he stands up for you." - -"Is that meant for a joke, or a matter of fact?" asked I. - -"Fact! Fact! Bob, as your friend no doubt, stands up for you, whom he -must so often hear abused." - -"What! a mighty member of the senate fighting me, a silly woman, with my -own weapons, seriously, and in sober anger, as though I were one of the -lords of the creation and a commoner? Then, indeed, I must ask pardon -of the honourable member, whom I must have sorely aggrieved. You say my -little spitfire, that Lord Robert often hears me abused. All I answer -is, look you at the breadth of his shoulders, before you presume to -join the hue-and-cry against me in his presence. You would not like a -horsepond: _n'est-ce pas?_" - -"Keep them to it, keep up the war between them; it is so amusing. -Harriette is the only match for Ward I ever met with," whispered -Luttrell to my neighbour, his half-brother, Nugent. - -"Does anybody mean to go to Elliston's masquerade?" asked Dick. - -"Certainly," said Mrs. Armstrong. "It is to be a most brilliant thing, -and the stage will exhibit all the decorations of Aladdin's Lamp, and I -know not what besides; no dominoes, and a most comfortable, excellent -supper." - -"I dare not go," said Alvanly. "I am always afraid of getting into a -row, at these sort of places and having to fight." - -"Apropos of fighting," said I. "Your lordship, if I remember, was -formerly in the Guards, I think? Why did you leave that regiment?" - -"Why, I was afraid of being shot," said Alvanly, very quietly. - -"But were you not also afraid of being called a coward?" I asked. - -"I was in two engagements, and distinguished myself in each," Alvanly -replied. - -"How, pray?" said the stiff John Mills, of the Guards, whom, though I -believe he had served in Spain with Alvanly, I did not think worth a -place in my Memoirs. - -"I do not mean to say that I ever volunteered anything," said Alvanly, -pulling up the collar of his shirt; "but, at the same time, I never ran -away, you know. They did not reward me for my services as I expected. -However, I am quite contented to have retired on half-pay. God bless -your soul," continued his lordship, addressing himself to me, "you have -no idea what it is! Come on, my brave fellows. This is fine fun, my -lads. You are obliged to find courage for yourself and your men too! I -mentioned to two or three officers at the time of action, that, if it -should please God to see me safe out of that, I would give the enemy -leave to cut off my head, if I did not sell out of the army or retire on -half-pay the moment I arrived in England. The fact is, I have had the -same antipathy to the idea of fighting from a child, and I never should -have gone into the Guards at all, if I had imagined they would have left -London." - -"Alvanly, shall I have the pleasure of drinking wine with you?" asked -Lord Hertford, from the top of the table. - -Alvanly assented of course. - -"Madeira?" asked Dick, handing Alvanly the bottle. - -"No; champagne, if you please. I can get madeira at home," said Alvanly. - -We women then entered the drawing-room, to which Mr. Dick conducted us -himself. - -Poor Julia scarcely spoke a single word the whole evening; indeed we -had the greatest difficulty in persuading her to be of our party. She -declared she could not endure to meet Amy, who had been making love to -Mildmay merely because Julia adored him. Mildmay had paid due attention -to Amy's ogling, had basked in the sunshine of her smiles for nearly a -fortnight, and then, just as she was growing tender, had cut her dead. -Amy, seized with an unusual fit of frankness, showed me Sir Henry's last -letter, in which he begged to be excused coming to her _pour le moment:_ -he was particularly engaged for the whole of next week. - -"_Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!_" said I, after reading this very impertinent -letter, addressed to a fine woman who had done him too much honour. "How -can you all encourage this cold-blooded heartless creature? Do pray let -me write your answer directly, and you shall copy it. It will set poor -Julia's mind at rest, and keep up, more or less, the dignity of the sex!" - -"I wish you would," answered Amy, "for I hate him; but, as to Julia, -it's nonsense her sticking up for Mildmay, he only laughs at the idea." - -Julia began to shed tears at Amy's coarse remarks, and I wrote as -follows, which Amy copied, and delivered into my hands to be forwarded -to the gay baronet the next morning. - - "MY DEAR SIR HARRY,--I have ten thousand apologies to make to - you, for being the most careless creature on earth! Your letter - of this morning was brought to me just as I was writing to that - angel Ponsonby; and, before I could read the first line of your - effusion, my servant brought me two more notes; so, in my bustle - and confusion, I am afraid yours must have been the piece of paper - I took up to light my taper with; for, though I desired my maid - to make strict search after it before I went out, she informed me - in the evening that it was not to be found. No matter, I give you - credit for having said an infinity of soft things, and wish it - were in my power _de vous rendre les pareilles_. Not that but I - entertain a severe esteem for you; to prove which, were I not about - to leave town for Brighton, I should entreat you to continue your - visits; but I am so unlucky as to have my time taken up entirely - just now. On my return, I hope to be more fortunate, and if so, I - shall certainly do myself the pleasure of sending you a card. In - the meantime Sir Harry will, I hope, believe me, like all the rest - of my sex, deeply impressed with his merits, - - "and most truly and faithfully his servant, - "AMY SYDENHAM." - - -Julia recovered her spirits as soon as this letter was in my possession, -signed and sealed, for she knew Mildmay too well to imagine he would -forgive any one who wounded his self-love. - -"You will be surprised to hear that I have left your sister Sophia at -home," said Julia. - -We asked Julia about Lord Deerhurst; and she told us that Sophia felt -herself so neglected and uncomfortable, and disgusted with her lodging, -that she had entreated Julia to take her as a boarder, and to which she -had that morning consented. - -Amy asked Julia why she did not bring Sophia with her. - -"In the first place," answered Julia, "I have passed my word to your -mother that Sophia shall not go out except to walk with my own children; -and, in the second she was not invited." - -The gentlemen joined us soon afterwards. - -The first thing Alvanly did was to break one of Mr. Dick's -looking-glasses, while playing some trick or other with a stick. - -Dick grew sulky and declared that, since the honour of his lordship's -company was to be so expensive, he must decline it. - -Alvanly said he was really sorry; but could not insult Mr. Dick by -buying him another. - -Dick assured him he was not touchy. - -"Oh, yes," said Alvanly, "you will give yourself a good character of -course; but I shall not impose upon your goodness by doing anything half -so rude." - -As soon as we had taken our tea and coffee, we all went to the King's -Theatre; but before Lord Hertford parted with us, he invited the females -of this party to dinner. - -We declared that we were going to Brighton and had no time. - -"Name your own day," said Lord Hertford; "to-morrow if you please; but -come you must." - -"It shall be to-morrow, then," said Amy, replying for us all. - -"What a fine thing it is to be an elder sister," said I. I thought Amy -could never have recovered her temper. - -Lord Hertford, before he left us, politely offered to send a carriage -for my sisters. - -I found the Duke of Leinster in my box. - -"I am glad you have no men with you," said His Grace, with something -like agitation of manner; "for I want to speak to you. Do you know, my -friend, of whom I spoke to you, is come up from Oxford on purpose to try -to get introduced. I know he must return to college to-night, and I am, -I confess, rather anxious that he should be disappointed." - -"Nonsense," said Julia. "Who is it pray?" - -"The Marquis of Worcester," replied His Grace. - -"Is he handsome?" I inquired. - -"Not a bit of it," said the duke. - -"What is he like?" Fanny asked. - -"I do not know anybody he is like, upon my honour, unless it be his -father. He is a long, thin, pale fellow, with straight hair." - -"You need not be alarmed," said I, "I shall not be presented to your -friend if I can help it. I always tell everybody I know, not to bring -men here without first coming to ask my permission." - -"I know you do," said Leinster; "since this is the answer Lord -Worcester has received from several of your friends to whom he applied." - -"There he is!" continued Leinster, leaning towards the pit. "Do not you -observe a very tall young fellow in silk stockings, looking steadfastly -up at this box. Upon my honour he won't wear trousers or curl his hair; -because he heard that you dislike it." - -"It is very flattering," said I, eagerly looking out for him with my -opera-glass, an example which was followed by Julia and Fanny. - -The young marquis was at that time too bashful to stand the artillery of -three pair of fine eyes at once, and turned away from our eager gaze; -but not till I had satisfied myself that he would not do for me one bit -better than his uncle, Lord G. L. Gower: and, in the next five minutes, -I had forgotten his existence. - -Lord Frederick Bentinck now came and asked me when I meant to keep my -promise of accompanying him to Vauxhall. - -"Oh, we shall never get to Brighton," said Fanny, who doted on -donkey-riding. "Harriette will keep us in town all the summer, as she -did last year." - -"Summer!" interposed George Brummell, entering in a furred great coat. -"You do not mistake this for summer, do you? A little more of your -summer will just finish me," pulling up his fur collar. - -"Upon my honour, I think it very hot," said Leinster. "It must be hot, -you know, because it is August." - -"I never know the difference, for my part," Fred Bentinck observed. "The -only thing that ever makes me cold is putting on a great coat; but then -I have always a great deal to do, and that keeps me warm. Once for all -madam, will you go to Vauxhall on Monday night? If you will I will put -off my sister and accompany you." - -I assented, in spite of everything Fanny and Julia could say to prevent -me; for Fred Bentinck always made me merry. - -"What is Lord Molyneux doing with Mrs. Fitzroy Stanhope?" said I, -looking towards that lady's box, where she sat _tete-a-tete_ with his -lordship. - -"How fond you are of scandal!" observed Fred Bentinck. - -"Oh Lord, no," answered I, "on the contrary, I admire her taste. Who -would not cut the very best swaggering Stanhope for a Molyneux?" - -"Where do you expect to go to, Harriette?" said Bentinck, for at least -the twentieth time since I had known him. - -"To Amy's to-night, to Lord Hertford's to-morrow, and to Vauxhall on -Monday," I replied. - -"And then to Brighton, I hope," continued Fanny. - -"We must see Elliston's masquerade first," said I. - -"A very respectable exhibition, indeed," observed Bentinck. - -"Oh! I never unmask, and nobody will find me out; but I've a natural -turn for masquerading, and go I must." - -King Allen put his long nose into the box, and his nose only. "Is Amy at -home to-night?" - -Fanny answered in the affirmative; adding, "But she is in her own box. -Why do not you go to her to inquire?" - -"Lord Lowther and some nasty Russians are with her," answered Allen. - -"_A ce soir_, then," I said, kissing my hand to him, which was as much -as to say, do not come in. He was kind enough to understand my hint. - -Lord Molyneux shortly took his seat by my side, and I rated him about -Mrs. Fitzroy. - -"Remember Monday," said Fred Bentinck, as he left the box to make room -for Mr. Napier and Colonel Parker, followed by the young Lord William -Russell. - -Lord Molyneux seemed to take pleasure in chatting with me, without -desiring a nearer intimacy; and I was always very glad to see and laugh -with his lordship. When he left me, Lord William began to whisper and -stammer out something about the folly he was guilty of in coming -to me as he did, and encouraging hopes which he knew would end in -disappointment. - -"You do not know any such thing," returned I. - -"What have I," continued Lord William, "to recommend myself to your -notice? A poor little wretch without either fortune or wit." - -I told him that he was well-looking, high-bred, and high-born. I felt -really desirous to encourage the most humble, little gentleman-like -being I ever met with. - -Just as Parker and Napier had left the box, Lord Deerhurst entered it, -accompanied by a tall young man, and Lord William then took his leave, -from the mere dread of intruding. "I do not often introduce gentlemen to -ladies," said his lordship, "and perhaps I am taking a liberty now; yet -I hope you can have no objection to my making you known to the Marquis -of Worcester." - -I bowed rather formally; because I had before desired Deerhurst not to -bring people to me without my permission. However the young marquis -blushed so deeply, and looked so humble, that it was impossible to treat -him with incivility; but, having taken one good look at my conquest, -and thus convinced myself that I should never love him, I conversed -indifferently on common subjects, as people do who happen to meet in -a stage-coach, where time present is all they have to care about. -Deerhurst was lively and pleasant, the marquis scarcely spoke; but the -little he did find courage to utter, was certainly said with good taste -and in a gentlemanly manner. - -Leinster was infinitely bored and annoyed, though he tried to conceal it. - -"What do you think of him?" asked Leinster, whispering in my ear. - -"I will tell you to-morrow," I replied; and, the better to enable -myself to do this, I examined the person of the young marquis for the -second time. It promised to be very good, and his air and manners were -distinguished; but he was extremely pale and rather thin; nevertheless, -there was something fine and good about his countenance, though he was -certainly not handsome. - -Deerhurst invited the Duke of Leinster to go into the pit with him. - -Leinster hesitated. - -I understood him. "Do not be afraid," said I, in his ear. "Of course, -having already engaged you to take me to my carriage, I shall neither -change my mind nor break my word." - -Leinster gratefully grasped my hand, but fixed his eyes on Worcester, -still hesitating. Not that it was His Grace's nature to break his -ducal heart for any woman, and still less perhaps for me; but a man's -schoolfellow pushing himself forwards, and trying to cut him out where -he had formed high expectations, is always a bore, even to the coldest -man alive. - -"Of course my sister Amy will be happy to see Lord Worcester to-night," -said I aloud, in answer to what I read in Leinster's countenance. - -Lord Worcester bowed, and looked rather confused than pleased. - -"Do come, my lord," said Fanny, who liked what she had seen of his -lordship extremely. - -To Leinster's joy and our astonishment, Lord Worcester said he must -really decline my very polite offer, grateful as he felt for it. - -"Nonsense!" exclaimed Deerhurst. "What a very odd fellow you are! I -really cannot make you out. I give you my honour, Harriette," continued -his lordship, "that, not an hour ago, he declared he would give half -his existence to sit near you and talk to you for an hour, and now -you invite him to pass the evening in your society, he appears to be -frightened to death at the idea!" - -"You are all alike; a set of cruel wicked deceivers," said I, -carelessly, being really indifferent as to the impression it made on -Lord Worcester, who, in his eagerness to exculpate himself from this -charge of caprice, blushed deeply and evinced considerable agitation. - -"No indeed, I beg, I do entreat that you will not, you must not imagine -this. I have a particular reason for not going to your sister's; but it -would be impertinent in a stranger like me to take up your time by an -explanation: only pray acquit me. Do not send me away so very unhappy; -for you must know, I am sure you must, that the indifference of which -you accuse me would be impossible, quite impossible, to any man." - -"What is the matter with you, young gentleman?" said I, looking at him -with much curiosity, "and why do you lay such a stress on trifles light -as air?" - -"To you, perhaps," observed Worcester, trying to laugh, from a fear of -seeming ridiculous. - -"There is a pretty race-horse little head for you!" said Deerhurst, -touching my hair. - -"I never saw such beautiful hair," Worcester remarked timidly. - -"Put your fingers into it," said Deerhurst. "Harriette does not mind how -you tumble her hair about." - -"I should richly deserve to be turned out of the box were I to do -anything so very impertinent," interrupted his lordship. - -"Oh, no," said I, leaning the back of my little head towards Worcester, -"anybody may pull my hair about. I like it, and I am no prude." - -Worcester ventured to touch my hair in fear and trembling, and the touch -seemed to affect him like electricity. Without vanity, and in very -truth, let him deny it if he can, I never saw a boy or a man more madly, -wildly, and romantically in love with any daughter of Eve in my whole -life. - -"Come with me," said Deerhurst to Leinster. - -"Remember your promise," Leinster whispered to me, as he unwillingly -followed his lordship. - -"May I," said Lord Worcester eagerly, as though he dreaded an -interruption, "may I, on my return to town, venture to pay my respects?" - -"Certainly," answered I, "if I am in town; but we are going to Brighton." - -True love is ever thus respectful, and fearful to offend. Worcester, -with much modesty, conversed on subjects unconnected with himself or his -desires, apparently taking deep interest in my health, which, I assured -him, had long been very delicate. - -Just before the curtain dropped, Worcester seemed again eager to say -something on his refusal to accompany me to Amy's. - -"Leinster is coming to take you to your carriage, I know," said he, "and -I wish----" - -"What do you wish?" - -"That you would permit me to explain something to you, and promise not -to call me a conceited coxcomb." - -"Yes! I'll answer for her," said Fanny, "so out with it, my lord. Why -be afraid of that great black-eyed sister of mine, as if she were of so -much consequence?" - -"Well then," continued Worcester, blushing deeply, "Lord Deerhurst told -me that your sister treated you unkindly, and that you never allowed -your favourites to visit her. Upon my honour, I would rather never see -you again, than pay my court to anybody who has behaved ill to you." - -Before I could reply Leinster came hurrying and bustling into the box as -the curtain dropped. - -"You return to Oxford to-night, I believe?" said His Grace to Worcester, -who replied that he must start at six in the morning. - -I advised him to take a few hours rest first. - -"That will be quite impossible," Worcester answered in a low voice. - -The young marquis's pale face certainly did grow paler, as he looked -wistfully after Leinster, whose arm I had taken. - -First love is all powerful in the head and heart of such an ardent -character as Worcester's; and there really was an air of truth about -him, which not a little affected me for the moment; therefore, -turning back to address him, after I had drawn my arm away from -Leinster,--"Perhaps," said I, in a low, laughing voice, "perhaps, Lord -Worcester, it may be vain and silly in me to believe that you are -disposed to like me; but, as I do almost fancy so, I am come to wish you -a good night, and to assure you that I shall remember your taking up -my quarrels against my unkind sister, with the gratitude I always feel -towards those who are charitable enough to think favourably of me." - -Worcester began to look too happy. - -"But do not mistake me," I continued, "for I am not one bit in love with -you." - -Worcester looked humble again. - -"In fact," said I, laughing, "my love-days are over. I have loved -nothing lately." - -"Not the Duke of Leinster?" inquired his lordship, whose anxiety to -ascertain this had overcome his fears of seeming impertinent. - -"No, indeed," I rejoined, and Worcester's countenance brightened, till -he became almost handsome. - -Leinster approached us with a look of extreme impatience. - -"Good night, my lord," said I, waving my hand, as I joined His Grace. -Worcester bowed low and hastened out of sight. - -"If Leinster were not my friend," said Worcester to a gentleman who -afterwards repeated it to me, pointing to Leinster and myself, as we -stood in the round room waiting for His Grace's carriage; "if that young -man were not my friend, I would make him walk over my dead body before -he should take Harriette out of this house." - -Oh, this love! this love! - -Amy's rooms were not full. It was her last party for that season. There -was nobody in town, so, _faute de mieux_, since Mildmay had cut her, she -was making up to a Mr. Boultby, a black, little, ugly dragoon, whom she -declared was exactly to her taste. - -"Come to Brighton," said Amy to her hero. - -He assured her that, if his regiment had not been stationed there, he -would have joined her, since he felt that he could not live out of her -smiles. - -"How can you strive to make fools of people?" said I. - -"What do you mean?" inquired Amy fiercely. - -"Why, seriously, Mr. Boultby," continued I, "take my word, she has no -fancy for you." - -Mr. Boultby's vanity would not permit him to take my word, so I left him -to the enjoyment of it. - -Parker and Fanny appeared to be very happy together, and sincerely -attached to each other. No husband could show more respect towards any -wife. - -Leinster was very dull, though too proud to complain. - -"Confess," said I to His Grace, as soon as I could get him into one -corner of the room, "confess that you are annoyed and unhappy about Lord -Worcester." - -"I do think," said Leinster, "though I do not pretend to have any claim -on you whatever, that Worcester, as my friend, had no right to intrude -himself into your society to-night." - -"Never mind, don't bore me with your jealousy; I abhor it," said I, -"I must and will be free, as free as the air, to do whatever I like. -I always told you so, and never professed to be in love with you. -However, I still like you as well as I like anybody else, and, as to -Lord Worcester, what shall I see of him, while he is at Oxford, and I at -Brighton, to which place I did not invite him." - -"I do not see why Worcester thought proper to blush as he did to-night, -and pretend to be so over modest, while he was doing such a cool, -impudent thing," muttered Leinster. - -"Dear me, how tiresome," said I, yawning. "I should almost have -forgotten all about Lord Worcester by this time, if you had made -yourself agreeable." - -The evening finished heavily for me. I was bored with Leinster, who -never had anything on earth to recommend him to my notice, save that -excellent temper, which I now saw ruffled for the first time since I had -known him: and Amy, who, it must be acknowledged was in the habit of -saying droll things, was this night wholly taken up and amused with that -stupid, ugly Boultby! I therefore returned early, and Leinster put me -down at my own door. - - - - -CHAPTER XV - - -The next day I proposed to my new _dame de compagnie_, Miss Eliza -Higgins, to dress herself quickly, in order to accompany me into the -park. - -"How do you do? how do you do?" said Lord Fife, as he joined us near -Cumberland Gate. "Who is your friend?" he continued, appearing to eye -Miss Higgins with looks of admiration, much to my astonishment. "Am I -not to be introduced to your friend?" - -"_Et pourquoi pas?_" said I, naming Miss Higgins, with whom he -conversed, as though her acquaintance had been the thing on earth most -devoutly to be wished. - -"What a funny little bonnet you have got on!" said his lordship to my -companion, interrupting himself in the middle of a long story from the -North. - -After Lord Fife had left us, Miss Eliza Higgins could speak of nothing -else. - -"Charming man, ma'am, the Earl of Fife! I have heard much of him; but -never had the honour to be presented to him before. That is a man now, a -poor weak female would find it very difficult to resist. His Lordship is -so condescending! so polite!" - -When we were tired of walking in the park, I drove to the house of a -married sister of mine, whose name we will call Paragon, since she was -the very paragon of mothers, having drawn up a new, patent system of -education for her children, better than Jean Jacques Rousseau's, and -unlike everybody's else. - -Her family consists of two boys and two girls. The eldest daughter was -then nearly seven years of age: her son and heir had scarcely attained -his fifth year. "They shall never go to school," said my sister Paragon, -"nor will I suffer them to be left one instant to the care of nurses or -servants, to learn bad grammar and worse morals. Neither shall they be -told of such things as thieves or murderers; much less shall they hear -anything about falsehood and deceit. They shall never obtain what they -want by tears nor rudeness after the age of two; and it shall depend on -the politeness and humility of their deportment, whether they have any -dinner or not; and nothing shall be called indecent which is natural, -either in words or deeds. So much for the minds of my children; and, -with regard to their bodily health, I shall make them swallow one of -Anderson's Scot's Aperient Pills every night of their blessed lives! _et -il n'y aura rien a craindre!_" - -Sister Paragon was very pretty. She had the sweetest, most lovely eyes -I ever beheld: and not because they were large, or of the finest hazel -colour; I allude to their character and expression; now flashing with -indignation, now soft, and yet so bright that one might almost see one's -own reflected in them. Paragon's little nose too was very pretty, even -when red and frost-bitten; and she had a beautiful mole on her clear -brown cheek. She did not at all resemble either a paragon or a prude; -and yet I am the only one of all our family who am not afraid of her wit -or her virtue. She married a gentleman of good family and connections, -though poor; and, when she did this, she almost broke the tender heart -of the reverend Orange patriot, Sir Harcourt Lees, baronet, of Irish -notoriety, who had often proposed to her on his knees, and on his--seat, -and with his whole heart! "He was a good little fellow," Paragon would -often say, "but his face was so like a knocker!" - -_C'est bien dommage!_ - -Paragon's husband was not in London when I called on her. She was -sitting with four of the most lovely children I ever beheld at one -time. Her eldest daughter was almost as beautiful as our mother, whose -equal I never saw nor shall see on earth. She had her mother's eye, her -grandmother's nose, and her nice little aunt Harriette's curly brown -hair. Then she was so graceful, and spoke such good French! - -"Mary!" said Paragon to her daughter, as soon as she had shaken hands -with me, and inquired after my health, "Mary, come away from the window -directly. Fie! for shame! Do not you see those two men at the corner of -the street are tipsy? Is that a proper sight to attract a young's lady's -attention?" - -Little Mary was in high spirits. She talked of love! and said she knew, -very well, that everybody fell in love, and that she was in love, too, -herself. - -"With whom, pray?" asked Paragon. - -"With my brother John," answered little Mary; and next she asked her -mother, when she might marry him, declaring that she could not wait much -longer. - -"To bed! to bed!" said mamma. "You must all go to bed directly." - -"Already?" I asked. "Why it is not six o'clock yet." - -"No matter. I am tired to death of them, and they are always asleep -before seven." - -In less than five minutes the children were all running about stark -naked as they were born, laughing, romping, and playing with each other. -Little Sophia, who was not yet two years of age, did nothing but run -after her beautiful brother Henry, a dear, little, laughing boy, who -was about to celebrate his fourth birthday. Little Sophia, bred in the -school of nature, handled her brother rather oddly, I thought. - -Paragon then put them to bed, gave them a Scotchman, in the shape of a -pill, and all was still as the grave! - -"Good night, my dear Paragon," said I. "Lord Hertford dines at eight, -and I shall not be ready." - -"I saw you at the opera, last night," Paragon remarked, "and truly -it was an unfair monopoly, to keep two such fine young men as Lord -Worcester and the Duke of Leinster to yourself. I admire the latter -of all things; so you may send Leinster to me, if you prefer Lord -Worcester." - -"How wicked!" said I. "If ever you, with such a beautiful young family, -were to go astray, you must despair of forgiveness." - -"Very fine talking," answered Paragon. "So you would score off your own -sins, by a little cut-and-dried advice which costs you nothing." - -Her son and heir interrupted her at this moment, by such hard breathing -as almost amounted to a snore. - -"That boy has caught cold!" observed mamma, and she awoke him to -administer an extra Scotchman. - -"Good-bye, good-bye," said I, running downstairs; and when I got home, -I had only ten minutes left _pour faire ma toilette_. As to Miss Eliza -Higgins, Lord Fife's compliments had so subdued her, that she could not -afford me the least assistance. - -"A charming man, the Earl of Fife!" she was repeating, for at least the -fiftieth time, when a note was put into my hand bearing the noble earl's -arms, and my footman at that moment informed me that my carriage was at -the door. - -"Any answer for Lord Fife, ma'am?" asked my servant. - -I hastily read the note, which contained his lordship's request to pass -the evening with me and my lovely companion. I did not show this to Miss -Higgins on that occasion, because it seemed so very _outre_ and unhoped -for that I feared it might from the mere surprise have caused sudden -death. - -"My compliments only," said I; "tell his lordship I am very sorry, but I -cannot write, because I am this instant getting into my carriage to dine -with Lord Hertford:" and so saying I followed my servant downstairs. - -Lord Hertford had not invited one person to meet us; but his excellent -dinner, good wine, and very intelligent conversation, kept us alive -till a very late hour. I mean no compliment to Lord Hertford, for he -has acted very rudely to me of late; but he is a man possessing more -general knowledge than any one I know. His lordship appears to be _au -fait_ on every subject one can possibly imagine. Talk to him of drawing -or horse-riding, painting or cock-fighting; rhyming, cooking or fencing; -profligacy or morals; religion of whatever creed; languages living or -dead; claret or burgundy; champagne or black-strap; furnishing houses or -riding hobbies; the flavour of venison or breeding poll-parrots; and you -might swear that he had served his apprenticeship to every one of them. - -[Illustration: A VIEW of YARMOUTH.] - -After dinner he showed us miniatures by the most celebrated artists, -of at least half a hundred lovely women, black, brown, fair, and even -carroty, for the amateur's sympathetic _bonne bouche_. These were all -beautifully executed: and no one with any knowledge of painting could -hear him expatiate on their various merits, without feeling that he was -qualified to preside at the Royal Academy itself! The light, the shade, -the harmony of colours, the vice of English painters, the striking -characters of Dutch artists--_Ma foi!_ No such thing as foisting sham -Vandykes, or copies from Rubens, on Lord Hertford, as I believe is done, -or as I am sure might be done, on the Duke of Devonshire: and yet His -Grace, I rather fancy, must be in the habit of sending advertisements -to the newspapers relative to his taste in _vertu_ and love of the -arts. If not, how comes it that everybody hears of Devonshire pictures -of his own choosing, while Lord Hertford's most correct judgment never -graces those diurnal columns. His lordship does not buy them, either -by so much a hundred or so much a foot; but if the town did not talk -about Devonshire's pictures, Devonshire's fortune, and Devonshire's -parties, he would be a blank in the creation. Once indeed he was -slandered with bastardy; but that passed off quietly, as it ought to -do; for who would have made it their pastime to beget such a lump of -unintelligible matter. Though surely that's enough for a duke, were it -even a Wellington. Not that a man is to blame for being stupid, be he -duke or tinker; but then Devonshire is so incorrigibly affected and -stingy withal! I remember his calling on me and pretending to make love -to me; and, with an air of condescension and protection, asking me in -what way he could serve me. For my part I am always inclined to judge of -others by my own heart; I therefore took him at his word, believing that -a man of such princely fortune would not, unasked, proffer his services -to anybody to whom he was not disposed to send a few hundreds when they -should require it. Being some time afterwards in such a predicament, and -having promised to apply to him, I sent to him for a hundred guineas. -His Grace begged to be excused sending so large a sum, at the same time -assuring me that a part of it was at my service. - -Oh, what a fine thing is the patronage of mighty dukes! - -Apropos. I must not be ungrateful. The most noble, I ought to say -the most gracious, the Duke of Devonshire once sent me two presents! -The one, in a parcel, wrapped up in fine paper and sealed with the -Devonshire arms. - -"A parcel, madam!" said my footman, "and the Duke of Devonshire's -servant waits while you acknowledge the receipt of it." - -The parcel contained a very ugly, old, red pocket-handkerchief! His -Grace, in the note which accompanied this most magnificent donation, -acknowledged that it was hideous; but then, he assured me, it was the -self-same which he had worn on his breast when he made it serve for an -under-waistcoat, on the occasion of his visit to me the day before. This -however was not all. In the warmth of his heart he sent me a ring too! -I think it must have been bought at Lord Deerhurst's jewellers, and yet -perhaps it was gold, instead of brass; but such a mere wire, that it -could not weigh a shilling's-worth. Still, had it been of brass, and -the gift of a friend who loved me, I should have worn it as long as it -had lasted; but, being that of the Duke of Devonshire, who cared nothing -about me, I sent it him back, to punish his vanity, in supposing that -trifles light as air could be prized by me, because they came from him. -As to his ugly, old, red pocket-handkerchief, I gave it to my footman, -and told the donor that I had done so. - -But, to proceed. - -Lord Hertford showed us a vast collection of gold and silver coins, -portraits, drawings, curious snuff-boxes and watches. He had long been -desirous that Amy, Fanny, and myself should sit to Lawrence, for a large -family-picture, to be placed in his collection. - -Though the tea and coffee, like our dinner, were exquisite, Hertford -made a good-natured complaint to his French commander-in-chief about the -cream. - -"Really," said his lordship, addressing us in English, "for a man who -keeps a cow, it is a great shame to be served with such bad cream!" - -"I knew not," said I, "that you were the man who kept a cow. Pray where -is she?" - -"In Hyde Park," he replied, "just opposite my windows." - -Lord Hertford then proposed to show us a small detached building, which -he had taken pains to fit up in a very luxurious style of elegance. -A small, low gate, of which he always kept the key, opened into Park -Lane, and a little, narrow flight of stairs, covered with crimson cloth, -conducted to this retirement. It consisted of a dressing-room, a small -sitting-room, and a bed-chamber. Over the elegant French bed was a fine -picture of a sleeping Venus. There were a great many other pictures, -and their subjects, though certainly warm and voluptuous, were yet too -classical and graceful to merit the appellation of indecent. He directed -our attention to the convenience of opening the door himself to any fair -lady who would honour him with a visit _incognita_, after his servants -should have prepared a most delicious supper and retired to rest. He -told us many curious anecdotes of the advantage he derived from his -character for discretion. - -"I never tell of any woman. No power on earth should induce me to name a -single female, worthy to be called woman, by whom I have been favoured. -In the first place; because I am not tired of variety and wish to -succeed again: in the second, I think it dishonourable." - -He told us a story of a lady of family, well known in the fashionable -world, whose intrigue with a young dragoon he had discovered by the -merest and most unlooked-for accident. "I accused her of the fact," -continued his lordship, "and refused to promise secrecy till she had -made me as happy as she had made the young dragoon." - -"Was this honourable?" I asked. - -"Perhaps not," answered Hertford; "but I could not help it." - -We did not leave Lord Hertford till near two o'clock, when he kindly set -us all down himself in his own carriage. - -The next morning, before I had finished my breakfast, a great, big, -stupid Irishman was announced, by name Dominick Brown, with whom I had -a slight acquaintance. He brought with him, for the purpose of being -presented to me, the Marquis of Sligo. They sat talking on indifferent -subjects for about an hour, and then drove off in his lordship's -curricle. Next came a note from Lord Fife, requesting permission to -drink tea with me and my charming friend. "Who would have thought it?" -said I to myself, laughing. "Here am I playing second fiddle to Miss -Eliza Higgins for the amusement of her most charming man, the Earl of -Fife!" I wrote on the back of his note: - -"Going to Vauxhall; but you may come to-morrow evening at nine." - -I thought that Miss Eliza Higgins would have fainted when I told her -that Lord Fife was coming to us. - -"Oh dear, ma'am, what would you advise me to wear? If you would not -think it a liberty, and would lend me the pattern of your sweet blue -cap, I would sit up all night to complete one like it." - -"All this energy about drinking tea with a rake of a Scotchman,--whom -you know would not marry an angel,--and pretend to tell me that you are -_une grande vertu?_" said I. - -"Certainly," answered Miss Eliza Higgins, reddening. - -"Fiddlestick!" was my sublime ejaculation. - -Miss Eliza Higgins burst into tears. - -"Nay," I continued, "this fit of heroics to me is ridiculous. I ask -nothing of you but plain dealing. The fact is this, I am not curious but -frank. Lord Fife wants to make your acquaintance, and it is not my wish -to spoil any woman's preferment in whatever line of life, whether good -or bad: so, guessing from all the raptures you have expressed at the -idea of this rake's attachment, that the governess of the young countess -Palmella is no better than she should be, I have agreed to receive his -lordship; but, since these tears of virtuous indignation have convinced -me of the injustice I did you, heaven forbid that I should be the means -of bringing Lord Fife and a vestal together, for fear of consequences!" -I then quietly opened my writing-desk and began framing an excuse -lordship. - -"Surely you are not putting off the Earl of Fife?" said Miss Eliza -Higgins, in breathless agitation. - -"I think it wrong to introduce such a gay man to an innocent woman," was -my answer. - -Miss Higgins entreated and begged in vain. - -"Well then," said Miss Higgins, "I confess that I once----" - -"Once what?" I asked. - -"I had a slip--a--yes--a slip!" And she held her handkerchief to her -eyes. - -"What do you call a slip? Do you mean a petticoat or an intrigue!" - -"Oh, fie! fie!" said Miss Eliza Higgins. "Intrigue is such a shocking -word, and conveys a more determined idea of loose morals than a mere -accidental slip." - -I still persisted in sending the excuse, declaring that, since hers had -been only an accidental slip, she might recover it. - -"Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" said Miss Higgins, as my hand was extended to the -bell, "what poor weak creatures we are! I quite forgot the General!" - -"General who?" - -"Why, General--, but you will be secret?" - -"As the grave, of course." - -"Did you ever hear of General Mackenzie?" said Miss Eliza Higgins, -spreading her hand across her forehead. - -"He was Fred Lamb's General in Yorkshire?" I answered. - -"The same, madam, a fascinating man! and this is my excuse." - -"True," said I, "and I remember all the servant maids and Yorkshire -milkwomen confessed his power." - -"Most true!" said Miss Eliza Higgins, with a deep sigh. - -"What then, you have forgotten the Earl of Fife already?" - -"Oh, his lordship is quite another thing," said Miss Higgins, -brightening. - -"And another thing is what you wish for?" - -"Oh fie, ma'am! indeed you are too severe. These little accidents do -and must happen, from mere inexperience and the weakness of our nature. -I know several women, who have made most excellent wives after a slip -or two, which I assure you madam often serves to fortify our virtue -afterwards." - -"Well, then," said I, resuming my pen, "lest the gay Lord Fife should -break through the formidable bulwark of virtue which has been already -fortified by two intrigues, I shall most positively send him an excuse." - -"I entreat, I implore, ma'am, do not refuse my first request. Who knows -what may turn up?" In short never was Brougham himself more eloquent! -Not even on that memorable day when he was employed by Lord Charles -Bentinck to show just cause why Lady Abdy ought to have cuckolded Sir -William as she did. She ultimately prevailed; and all-conquering Fife -was expected with rapture. - -Before dinner I went to call on Julia, by whom I had been sent for. -Extreme anxiety had brought on a _fausse couche_; but Julia, being -as well as could be expected, hoped still to be able to join us at -Brighton, if not to accompany us there. My sister Sophia was sitting by -her bedside, looking very pretty, and much happier than when she was -with Lord Deerhurst. - -Fanny called on Julia, whose house she had changed for one in -Hertford-street, Mayfair, on her acquaintance with Colonel Parker, whose -name at his particular request she had now taken. - -"My dear Fanny," said I, "what am I to do with your boy George? We shall -never make a scholar of him, and he declares that he will not be a -sailor." - -"Flog him! Flog him!" said Amy, who overheard what I was saying, as she -entered the room accompanied by a man in powder. "I flog my boy Campbell -every hour in the day." - -I never saw such a man in all my life as her powdered swain. "I too am -for flogging," said he, "since, such as you see me here before you, I am -become by mere dint of birch." - -"_Dieu nous en preserve!_" said I, hurrying into my carriage. Having -reached home too early for dinner, I sat down to consider the plan of -a book in the style of the _Spectator_, a kind of picnic, where every -wiseacre might contribute his mite of knowledge at so much a head, -provided he and she would sign their real names to the paper. - -Having imagined myself to be a wild lad, like my young scamp of a -nephew, addressing a second _Rambler_ or _Spectator_, whom I ventured to -name Momus, I addressed as follows: - - "MR. MOMUS,--I am one of those unfortunate victims whose hard - fate was decided before I was born, and _bon gre, mal gre_, I must - become a prodigy of learning. Now, Mr. Momus, I have to inform - you that, notwithstanding I love my parents above all the world, - yet I abhor and detest everything in the way of study. Floggings, - rewards, private tutors and public schools, have all been tried - in vain; and, though I am at fifteen becoming somewhat hardened - against my father's harsh sarcasms on my stupidity, yet fain would - I exert myself to dry up the tears my poor mother often sheds, for - the disappointment of her sanguine wishes on my account; but for - the strong conviction I feel that it is as impossible to acquire a - taste for study, as to benefit by a forced application to books. - - "'Learn, oh youth,' says Zimmerman, one of my tutor's - favourite authors, 'learn, oh young man! that nothing will - so easily subdue your passion for pleasure as an increasing - emulation in great and virtuous actions, a hatred to idleness and - frivolity, the study of the sciences, and that high and dignified - spirit, which looks with disdain, on everything that is vile and - contemptible.' - - "All very fine old boy, and clear as the nose in your face. - A hatred of idleness, Mr. Zimmerman, is a love of industry; but - how is this love and this hatred to be acquired? '_Voila_,' said - a French matron to Monsieur le Duc de ----, at Paris, throwing - open the doors of an elegant apartment, '_Voila la chambre ou - l'on_' ... '_Mais, ou est la chambre ou l'on--?_' said the duke. - - "'Try solitude,' says Zimmerman-- - - "My father has tried that too, and it failed--but then, - Zimmerman continues, 'for solitude to produce these happy effects - it is not sufficient to be continually gazing out of a window with - a vacant mind, nor gravely walking up and down your study, in a - ragged _robe de chambre_ and worn-out slippers. The soul must feel - an eager desire to roam at large.' - - "Now, Mr. Zimmerman, as far as regards a new pair of slippers - and a clean dressing-gown, your advice has been duly attended to; - but my mind is not the less vacant, whether I gaze out of window, - walk, or sit down; therefore, Mr. Momus, I now entreat you to - favour me with your candid opinion, whether a fool can be teased - into a genius, or a genius into a fool? It strikes me, on the - contrary, that, under every imaginable disadvantage, a man will - contrive to improve himself where the taste for study be genuine, - and, where it does not exist, compulsion will but add disgust to - what was before only indifference. - - "My tutor read to me this morning, an anecdote of Petrarch, - the celebrated Italian poet. One of Petrarch's friends, the Bishop - of Cavaillon, being alarmed lest the intense application with - which he studied might totally ruin a constitution already much - impaired, requested of him one day the key of his library. Petrarch - immediately gave it him, and the good bishop instantly locking - up his books and writings, said, 'Petrarch, I hereby interdict - you from the use of pen, ink, and paper, for the space of ten - days.' The sentence was severe; but the offender suppressed his - feelings and submitted to his fate. The first day of his exile - from his favourite pursuits was tedious, the second accompanied - with incessant headache, and the third brought on symptoms of - an approaching fever,--'Sir,' said I, interrupting my tutor, - 'my symptoms of fever are also coming on: everybody to their - vocation,--you must allow me to take a ride.' Farewell, Mr. Momus, - I wait impatiently for your good advice, which I do not feel much - afraid of; because you are neither a grey-beard nor a scholar. - - "I remain, your obedient servant, - "HARRY HAIRBRAIN." - - - ANSWER - - "Though I am neither a grey-beard nor a scholar, my young - correspondent will not be a jot the better pleased with me when I - inform him that I would recommend his being deprived both of his - horse and his liberty, and throw him altogether on the resources of - his own active mind for his whole and sole amusement, amongst books - and grey-beards, where he might either study or look on, as he - pleased; at the same time, I quite agree with my correspondent as - to the folly of labouring to extract blood from a stone, although - this, judging from the spirit of his letter, is very far from a - case in point." - -It was now dinner-time, so I resolved to dress for Vauxhall after that -was over. - -"I wonder," said Miss Eliza Higgins, as she assisted at my toilette, "I -wonder if the Earl of Fife will be at Vauxhall? What a bore this little -green satin gipsy-hat is, and what a magnificent plume of feathers! How -divinely they fall over your shoulders! What a heavenly taste Madame le -Brun has!" - -Miss Eliza Higgins, as it will be perceived, doted on superlatives. - -Lord Frederick Bentinck came for me before I was half ready. - -"It's quite a bore! you always keep me waiting," said his lordship, when -I came downstairs. "I cannot amuse myself in the least in this room, for -I dare not open any one of your books, being always afraid of hitting -upon something indecent or immoral." - -"Come," said I, "we shall be late, if you stand prosing there." - -"I am thinking," said Frederick Bentinck, without stirring. - -"You can think," I interrupted him, "as we go along." I took hold of his -hand, and pulled him towards the door. - -"Stop a minute," continued his lordship, "and attend to what I say. I -risk a great deal, in going out with a woman like you." - -"What do you mean by a woman like me?" - -"Why--a woman--a woman--in short, and to speak plainly, of your loose -morals!" - -"You blockhead!" said I, running downstairs, and having determined in my -own mind to be even with him. - -The gardens were crowded to excess. - -The late Marquess of Londonderry flattered my vanity, and made me -prouder than ever my conquest of Lord Worcester could do, by merely -looking at me. He certainly looked a great deal more than perhaps his -lady might have thought civil. He struck me, particularly on that -evening, as one of the most interesting looking men I had ever seen. At -first Lord Frederick seemed rather timid, in regard to my loose morals -and my striking elegant dress; but, observing that I excited some little -admiration and that his sister, as he told me, looked at me as if she -had been much surprised and pleased with me, he now grew proud of having -me on his arm and pressed forward into the crowd; but I constantly -tugged at his arm till I got into the most retired walks. - -"What are you afraid of?" said Lord Frederick. - -"Why, not of your loose morals: but the fact is, I, who am accustomed to -go about with the chosen Apollos of the age, shall get terribly laughed -at for being at Vauxhall with such a quiz as you. Not that I doubt your -being a very excellent sort of man." - -Fred Bentinck laughed with perfect good-humour. He had no vanity, and -was so fond of me that I was welcome to laugh at him, and, provided he -saw me amused, he was happy. - -"I could listen while Harriette talked, though it were for a year -together," said Lord Frederick one day to Julia, when I was not present. -Indeed he made it a point never to say anything civil to me; but all his -actions proved his friendship and regard for me. - -At four o'clock in the morning I found Miss Eliza Higgins busy about the -new cap which was to kill the Thane. - -"Was the Earl of Fife in the gardens?" she inquired, the moment I -entered my dressing-room. - -The next evening, behold myself and Miss Higgins seated on the sofa -before our tea-table, in expectation of Lord Fife. Miss Higgins's new -cap would have improved her beauty, had she not diminished its lustre -by sitting up all night to finish it; but her fine hair, which was her -solitary charm, was suffered to flow over her neck and shoulders in -graceful, childish negligence. As for me, the part of second fiddle -being altogether new to me, I took the liberty of appearing in my -morning dress. Nine was the hour named by Lord Fife, and Miss Higgins -had taken out her old-fashioned French watch at least twenty times -since she entered the drawing-room, when the house-clock struck that -wished-for and lagging hour. - -"Is his lordship punctual generally speaking, pray, ma'am?" - -"Quite the reverse, I believe," said I, half asleep. - -"You have a good heart, I know, ma'am, and we females ought naturally to -assist each other in all our little peccadillos," remarked my companion. - -"Well?" - -"Why, ma'am, I am going to ask your advice, who are better acquainted -with his lordship's tastes than I am. I was thinking now, that this -little netting-box is pretty and lady-like! Shall I be netting a purse, -or will it have a better effect to put on my gloves and be doing -nothing?" - -Before I could answer this deep question my footman entered the room -with a letter, sealed with a large coronet, and told me that a servant -waited below for an answer. - -"I will ring when it is ready, James," said I, opening the letter. - -"It is an excuse from the Earl of Fife!" said Miss Eliza Higgins, -growing whiter than her pearl powder. - -Indignation kept me silent after reading the following impertinent -letter from the Marquis of Sligo, to whom I had only been presented the -day before. - - "MY DEAR MISS WILSON,--Will you be so condescending as to - allow me to pass this evening alone with you after Lord Lansdowne's - party? - - "SLIGO." - - -I had not been so enraged for several years! I rang my bell with such -violence that I frightened Miss Eliza Higgins out of the very little wit -she possessed. - -"Who waits?" said I to James. - -"A servant in livery," was the answer. - -"Send him up to me." - -A well-bred servant, in a cocked hat and dashing livery entered my room, -with many bows. - -"Here is some mistake," said I, presenting him the unsealed and unfolded -letter of Lord Sligo. "This letter could not be meant for me, to whom -his lordship was only presented yesterday. Take it back, young man, and -say from me, that I request he will be careful how he misdirects his -letters in future; an accident which is no doubt caused by his writing -after dinner." - -The man bowed low, and took away the open communication with him. - -"The earl may yet arrive then?" observed Miss Eliza Higgins, recovered -herself. - -A loud knock at the door now put the matter almost beyond a doubt, and, -in another minute, in walked the redoubtable Earl of Fife, in a curious -black and tan broad striped satin waistcoat, which was ornamented with -a large gold chain. His watch was very gay, as were his numerous -seals, at least twenty in number. "Surely," thought I, as I threw a -hasty glance at Miss Eliza Higgins's long, narrow, ill-shaped forehead, -brilliant with agitation and pearl-powder, "surely the man must be -purblind or it may be his eyes were filled with dust on Sunday, when we -met him in the park." However, to my astonishment, his lordship was all -rapture, and did nothing but ogle my fair _dame de compagnie_, as though -she had been really fair. - -As to Miss Eliza Higgins, it had been previously settled and agreed on -between us that modesty was to be the order of the day. - -"I am not so vain as to fancy myself altogether handsomer than you are, -madame," said the humble Miss Eliza to me, "and yet it is clear that the -Earl of Fife prefers me; I therefore conceive that I may have appeared -to him more timid and modest; therefore it will be better to keep up -that character: do not you agree with me, ma'am?" - -"Certainly," said I. - -Miss Eliza Higgins kept up the farce to excess; scarcely venturing -to raise her eyes from the ground, or utter a single syllable, -beyond--"yes," or "no, my lord,"--and, that in a low whisper. She did -indeed once venture to speak pathetically about her grandmamma and her -dear grandpapa. Lord Fife declared to me she was an amiable creature, -and he presumed to place a ring of some value on her finger, on which -occasion Miss Eliza Higgins appeared to be growing rather nervous. He -did not take his leave until he had obtained her permission to write to -her. - -"Miss Eliza Higgins," said I, as soon as we were left alone again, -which was not till after midnight, "my good Miss Eliza Higgins, this -atmosphere, as you expected, has proved favourable to your wishes. It -has done more than your six seasons at Bath. It has, in short, brought a -noble earl to your feet. _Je vous en fait mes compliments_. We will now -if you please say adieu. Make any use you please of your conquest, and -accept my thanks for having been so truly ridiculous." - -Miss Eliza bridled, muttered something about our sex's envy, and -declared that she had proposed leaving me herself. - -"Agreed then," said I, extending my hand to shake hands. "I promise -never to say anything but good of you to Lord Fife; at least not till he -is quite tired of you." - -Miss Eliza Higgins appeared satisfied and wished me a good night. - -"You will forward any letters that may arrive from the Earl of Fife?" -said she, returning. - -"Certainly," - -"Why then, I propose going to my grandmamma's to-morrow." - -"_De tout mon coeur_," I replied, and we parted. - - - - -CHAPTER XVI - -Half the world was at Elliston's masquerade, given at his place, as he -calls the Theatre Royal, Drury-lane; therefore all I shall say about it -is, that I never saw anything of the kind better conducted and I wish he -would give another in honour of my arrival the moment I go to London. - -During supper, somebody recognised Elliston as he passed through the -room, and he was immediately hailed with three cheers. - -"Ladies and gentlemen," said Elliston, who was as tipsy as usual, or -rather more so perhaps,--"Ladies and gentlemen, I did not expect to -have been observed in passing through the crowd. I am very grateful, -gentlemen,--very happy, gentlemen,--quite overjoyed, gentlemen,--that -any efforts of mine to please and amuse you have been crowned with -success----" - -At this critical moment, somebody broke some dishes and upset a bottle -of champagne. - -"Easy! easy! quiet--quiet there--pray! pray!" said Elliston, addressing -them by way of parenthesis. - -He then continued his speech,--"Yes, gentlemen, you shall have more -masquerades! And what's more, ladies and gentlemen----" - -Elliston's lame speech by this time had excited some laughter. - -"I never knew him quite so bad as this," said a gentleman on my left. - -"As I was saying, gentlemen," Elliston proceeded, "I mean, my kind -friends, it has ever been my ambition to give you pleasure, and, -gentlemen, masquerades are pleasant, merry, spirited things, -particularly when the occasion is, like this, to celebrate the birthday -of our august--oh! gentlemen and ladies, apropos, I had forgotten,--but -I now, though last not least, beg to propose a toast, in which every one -of you will join me in your heart of hearts!" - -Elliston filled a bumper, and drank--"His Majesty!" - -We were all stunned with the loud cheers, three times three repeated, -which followed. He then passed round the tables, and stopped to speak to -several of his friends, one of whom drank off one bottle of champagne -with him, and then called for another. - -"No more--no more," said Elliston. - -"Why man, one would think you were Cardinal Wolsey." - -In about a fortnight after the Opera had closed we all arrived at -Brighton. - -Leinster gave way to his feelings, on the day I left town, by putting -more wine into his glass than usual. - -"Only say you like me better than Worcester," said His Grace, "and I -shall go to Ireland in some comfort." - -"I have forgotten Lord Worcester," said I. - -"And you will be glad to see me on my return then?" asked Leinster. - -"Certainly," I answered, "and particularly if you will leave off playing -the hundred and fourth psalm on the big fiddle. I really am tired of it." - -Leinster proposed giving me _Rule Britannia_ on my arrival, and promised -everything I could wish. - -Fred Bentinck rode by the side of my carriage for the first ten miles. -He offered to drive me down all the way with his own horses; but on -certain conditions, which I declined. - -"Well!" said Frederick, in his loud, odd voice, as he took leave of me, -at _The Cock_ at Sutton, "well, I really do hope you will soon come -back. I don't, as you know, make speeches or pretend to be in love with -you. I might have been perhaps; but, the fact is, you are a loose woman -rather, and you know I hate anything immoral. However, you may believe -me when I say, that I am sorry you are leaving London." - -"And what becomes of you?" I asked. "Do you mean to remain all your life -in town?" - -"Oh! I have too a great deal to do, and my business, you know, is at the -Horse Guards." - -"God bless you, Frederick Bentinck," said I, as my carriage was driving -off. "_Portez vous bien_, although you certainly are enough to make me -die of laughter." - -"And do," said his lordship, with his half laughing, half cross, but -very odd countenance, "pray do conduct yourself with some small degree -of propriety at Brighton: and take care of your health. I have, by this -day's post, written to my friend Doctor Bankhead about you. I think -him clever; and I know he will do what he can to be of service to any -favourite of mine." - -We had already hired a good house on the Marine Parade. Amy's admirer, -Boultby, was one of our first visitors, and then Lords Hertford and -Lowther, who were both on a visit at the pavilion. For three whole days -Amy sickened us by the tenderness of her flirtation with Boultby, who -sat lounging on her sofa as though he had been a first-rate man. At last -Amy grew tired of him all at once. - -"Get up," said she, rudely pushing her _inamorato_ off the sofa. - -Boultby refused like a spoiled child, and insisted on another kiss. - -"Good heavens, get up then," said Amy, "and don't tumble my ruff. I came -down to Brighton for the fresh air, and for three days I have inhaled -none of it; and I am not sure that I shall like you. Here put your head -on this pillow," added Amy, putting down his head, and rolling a thick -table-napkin about it. "So let me fancy you my husband, and in your -night-cap. There," said Amy, holding her head first on one side, then on -the other, in order to take a full view of his little, black, ugly face, -which examination was not favourable to her lover. - -[Illustration: Amy] - -"Get up this instant!" said she, with such fierceness as immediately set -him on his legs. - -"I told you so," said I, "but you would not believe me." - -Boultby hoped his sweet Amy was joking; and he did well to make the most -and best he could of the evening: for he was never admitted afterwards. - -Lord Robert Manners, whose regiment was stationed in that neighbourhood, -was very attentive to me. His lordship is one of the most amiable young -men I ever met with. His finely turned head might be copied for that -of the Apollo Belvidere, and yet he has no vanity. In short a more -manly, honourable, unaffected being does not exist; and much I regret -the ill-health under which he has always suffered. His lordship was -kind enough to give me my first lesson in riding; often accompanied -by the French Duc de Guiche, who was in the Prince Regent's Regiment, -and Colonel Palmer. The latter invited me to accompany Lord Robert to -the mess-dinner at Lewes. It must more resemble a small select private -party than a mess-room, as they seldom mustered more than seven or eight -persons together at table. - -Bob Manners, as Lord Robert is universally called, was remarkably -absent, and spoke but little, yet he possessed a certain degree of -quaint, odd humour. - -"Those leaders are not bad: who made them?" asked George Brummell, one -day of his lordship. - -"Why, the breeches-maker," said Bob Manners, speaking very slow. - -I accidentally had some conversation with an old infantry officer, -belonging to a regiment which had fought some very hard battles, I think -it was the 50th, and nick-named the Dirty Half-hundred; but I know their -courage was in high repute, although the officers were not polished men -by any means. - -Speaking of Lord Robert, my new acquaintance remarked that he was a -fine, high-bred looking fellow. - -"The Tenth are a very fine looking regiment, take them altogether," -continued he, "and they wear very fine laced jackets; but what service -have they seen? And yet they hold us poor fellows very cheap, I dare -say. The anniversary dinner, by which we are to celebrate the battle -where our officers are allowed to have particularly distinguished -themselves, happens next Monday: but I suppose your dandies of the Tenth -will not condescend to join our humble mess!" - -I afterwards repeated this conversation to Lord Robert in the presence -of Colonel Palmer. - -"Indeed," said his lordship, "the regiment do us great injustice in -saying we hold them cheap: on the contrary, while answering for myself, -who hold their courage in the highest respect and estimation, I think I -may, at the same time, answer for the whole of my regiment." - -Colonel Palmer readily joined Lord Robert in his unequivocal expressions -of approbation. - -"For my part," continued Lord Robert, "I shall not only be happy in -such an opportunity of becoming personally acquainted with the brave -officers of the 50th regiment; but I shall feel hurt and astonished if -a single officer of the Tenth, now at Lewes, who may be favoured with -an invitation to their dinner, should fail to attend to it. At the same -time, I wish you would tell your new acquaintance that while, perhaps, -we envy the laurels they have been allowed to gather, they are bound to -believe in our readiness to lose our best blood in the service of our -country, whenever we are permitted so to prove our courage; but it would -be illiberal to blame us for the freshness of our jackets." - -Every officer in the Tenth Hussars who happened to be quartered at -Lewes, made it a point, stimulated perhaps by what Lord Robert had said -on the subject, to hold himself disengaged for the day, on which they -all fully expected to receive an invitation from the officers of the -50th regiment, when, lo!--not one of them was asked! - - * * * * * - -Lords Hertford and Lowther were our constant visitors at Brighton. - -One evening, when His Majesty had a party of ladies and gentlemen at the -pavilion, we concluded that Lord Hertford would not be able to leave it. -However, at nine his lordship arrived, accompanied by a hamper of claret. - -"Much as I respect His Majesty," said Lord Hertford, "I cannot stand the -old women at Brighton." - -We received letters from Julia and Sophia, declaring they had changed -their minds and would not join us. - -I saw a great deal of the Duc de Guiche, who used to be called, while -in the Tenth Hussars, the Count de Grammont, during my short stay at -Brighton. He was very handsome, possessed a quick sense of honour, and -ever avoided even the shadow of an obligation: I need not add that he, -through strict economy, kept himself at all times out of debt. As an -officer he was severe and ill-tempered, but well versed in military -business: as a Frenchman he was fonder of flirting than loving; and, -with regard to his being a fop, what could a handsome young Frenchman do -less? - -I refused to see Dr. Bankhead, who had left his card by Lord Frederick -Bentinck's desire; because the world said he was a terrible fellow. -However, being afterwards afflicted with an attack of inflammation in -my chest, I ventured to send for this Herculean Beauty! "He cannot," -thought I, "be so very impudent as he has been represented to me by -many, and particularly by Mr. Hoare the banker, who declared that -maids, wives, and widows were often obliged to pull their bells for -protection. Then Lord Castlereagh has too much good taste to encourage -and patronise him as he does, and has done for years, if he were so very -bad." - -Dr. Bankhead came into my bedroom with the air and freedom of a very old -acquaintance. - -"What is the matter, my sweet young lady?" said he, "and what can I do -for you?" - -"I see! I hear!" said he, interrupting me, observing that I spoke with -difficulty. "Fever? Yes," feeling my pulse. "Oppression? ah! Cough? hey? -Do not speak, my sweet creature. Do not speak! You have been exposing -that sweet bosom!" endeavouring to lay his hand upon it, which I -resisted with all my strength of hand. - -"Nay! nay! nay! stop! stop! stop! hush! hush! You'll increase your -fever, my charming young lady; and then what will your friend Fred -Bentinck say? quiet! There, don't speak, can you swallow a saline -draught? and I'm thinking too of James's powders; but it is absolutely -necessary for me to press my hand on that part of your chest or side -which is most painful to you." - -"Doctor Bankhead, excuse me. This is by no means my first attack of the -kind, and I know pretty well how to treat it." - -"There! there! then! be quiet my dear young lady. I give you my honour -you have already increased your fever. Hush! you will take your draught -to-night?" - -"Doctor Bankhead, I must----" - -"Nay! nay! there! keep yourself quiet, I entreat. Quietness is -everything in these inflammatory fevers, you know, my sweet." - -"Doctor Bankhead, I must ring the bell." - -"Hush! there! there then! I would not frighten you for the world: and -I am apt to frighten ladies, I am indeed! hush! Be quiet! there then! -hush! I am indeed, as you may have heard, a most terrible fellow! Be -quiet, my sweet lady! Swallow this glass of lemonade! There! now lie -very still. In short, so terrible am I, that I frighten every woman on -earth, except Mrs. Bankhead and my Lady Heathcote! hush!" - -"Doctor Bankhead! this is an unmanly advantage of----" - -"Oh, you naughty creature, to flurry yourself! I would not frighten you -for the world! And, since I am so terrifying, take me altogether----" - -"Doctor Bankhead, I'll ring the bell," and I tried to reach it. - -"You shall have just as much or as little of me as you please. Be still, -pray! pray! and this is an offer I never before made to any woman, not -even to my dear friend Lady Heathcote." - -Dr. Bankhead laid his giant hand on my bosom to demonstrate one of -his former feats. My passions were now roused in a peculiar manner, -and, catching hold of my bell, I never ceased ringing it till my maid -appeared. - -I desired her to show Dr. Bankhead out of my house, "And, above all -things, do not leave my room without him." - -"Good morning, to you, my sweet, comical lady," said Bankhead, and left -the house. - -In about two months we all grew tired of Brighton, except Fanny, who had -never been happier than while galloping over the Downs with the first -man she had really loved; perhaps the first who had treated her with the -respect and kindness her very excellent and benevolent qualities so well -deserved. - -I often heard from Fred Bentinck, as well as from His Grace of Leinster. -The latter joined me in London towards the end of November. I had only -been settled there a few days, when I was surprised by a visit from the -young Marquis of Worcester, whose very existence I had almost forgotten. - -He expressed his gratitude for being admitted and sat with me for two -hours, when our _tete-a-tete_ was interrupted by Leinster. He then took -his leave, having conversed only on indifferent subjects, without once -touching on the passion Lord Deerhurst and several others had assured me -that he entertained for me. - -Leinster appeared much annoyed at the reappearance of Worcester and -talked of going to Spain. - -"I am a great fool," said His Grace, "and travelling may make me wiser." - -I shook my head. - -"At all events," continued His Grace, "I shall be out of the way of -seeing Worcester make love to you. I am no match for him, being of a -colder and less romantic turn. Worcester would go to the devil for you, -and will make you love him, sooner or later. I cannot contend with him, -and therefore I have almost decided to go with my brother, Lord Henry, -and young FitzGibbon to the Continent." - -"In the meantime," said I, "you really are wrong to tease yourself about -Lord Worcester, who never makes love to me: and this morning he talked -of nothing but riding and Lord Byron's poetry and music. He did not even -offer to shake hands with me, and, when I held out my hand for that -purpose, he seemed to shake and tremble, as though it had been something -quite unnatural." - -"When are you to see him again?" - -I assured His Grace that nothing like an appointment had been made; and -all Lord Worcester had said on the subject, was a request to be allowed -to call sometimes to pay his respects and make his bow. - -I went to call on Fanny, after His Grace left me. Lord Alvanly and Amy -were with her, and her eternal admirer, Baron Tuille, who told us that -Lord Worcester did nothing but inquire of every man he met, whether they -had heard anything relative to the departure of Leinster for Spain. - -"That's a very fine young man, that Marquis of Worcester," said Amy. "I -should like to be introduced to him, only I suppose Harriette, with her -usual jealousy, will prevent me." - -"On the contrary," said I, "Fanny heard me invite him to your party -after the Opera, the very evening he was presented to me, and he refused -to go." - -"What a rude way of putting it," said Baron Tuille. "Why not say he was -obliged to return to Oxford, and was _en desespoir!_" - -"_De tout mon coeur!_ Put it how you please," said I. - -"I've some news for you," said Fanny. "Sophia has made a new conquest -of an elderly gentleman in a curricle, with a coronet on it. He does -nothing on earth from morning till night but drive up and down before -Julia's door. Julia is quite in a passion about it, and says it looks so -very odd." - -"Talk of the devil," said Alvanly, as Julia and Sophia entered the room. - -"Of fair Hebe rather," Baron Tuille observed. - -"Well Miss Sophia, so you've made a new conquest?" said Fanny. - -"Yes," answered Sophia: "but it is of a very dowdy, dry-looking man." - -"But then his curricle!" I interrupted. - -"Yes, to be sure, I should like to drive out in his curricle, of all -things." - -"It is very odious of the fright to beset my door as he does," Julia -said. - -"So it is, quite abominable; and, for my part, I hate him, and his -curricle too," good-natured Sophia replied. - -"But answer me," said Baron Tuille, addressing himself to me, "does the -Duke of Leinster go to the continent this year?" - -"What is that to you?" I asked. - -"Only to satisfy poor Worcester, who is so miserable about him. For my -part, I asked him why he did not run away with you by force. But he -said, that force was good for nothing; and that while you permitted -Leinster to visit you he was perfectly wretched. Suspense was the devil, -and he could not think why Leinster bothered at all about going to Spain -unless he really had some such intention." - -"I believe you are all laughing at me," said I, "and I don't deserve it; -for no one can say I am vain: but if I were, no vanity, not even that of -the Honourable John William Ward, could construe Lord Worcester's prim -conversation into love for me. True, he blushes and trembles, which, in -a lad of such mature worldly manners, who has already been so much in -society, does look a little like love; but this is the only sign I have -witnessed." - -"Depend upon it, he is in a desperate, bad way," lisped out Alvanly. - -"Were you ever seriously in love, my lord?" I asked. - -"Oh, tremendously, last year," answered his lordship; "but then I -fancied it was with a woman of fashion. God bless your soul, a fine -carriage, on a perch, with scarlet blinds! Could you have imagined she -would ever have asked me for money?" - -"And what answer did you make?" - -"Answer! Why I told her I would have preferred death to even the risk of -insulting her; but, since she had destroyed all my illusion, I now was -disposed to look upon her in a different light, and pay her accordingly, -at the rate of five hundred a year; which was handsome for the time I -should continue in her company, which, by the bye, would not have been -longer than five minutes! However she refused to have anything more to -do with me; and I have now, thank God, entirely recovered my peace of -mind." - - * * * * * - -Worcester was riding near my door as I drove up to it. I stopped to ask -him if he liked to join me at Astley's, where I proposed going with the -Duke of Leinster. He hesitated, and seemed really annoyed at the idea of -Leinster being of the party. - -"If you really wish it," said his lordship, reddening. - -"Oh, I shall not break my heart," I answered, "only it has struck me, -and has struck others, that you liked me, therefore I conceived the -proposal might be agreeable." - -"I am afraid," said Lord Worcester, "that I shall be thought very -intrusive and impertinent; but I am most anxious and desirous to be -allowed to say one word to you before you go to Astley's to-night." - -"Leinster comes for me at half-past seven," I replied, "so call at -seven." - -Worcester rode off, all gratitude. - -I was surprised to find Leinster sitting at my pianoforte, in my -drawing-room, when I got upstairs. "What again at your hundred and -fourth psalm?" said I, "after all the promises you have made to become -less righteous?" - -"I have a favour to ask," said Leinster, and the boy's usual open smile -was fled, and he looked infinitely more interesting; because he was -paler, and there was an air of sensibility about him, which was seldom -the case. - -"My dear little Harry," said he, passing his hand across his -curly locks, "I am annoyed and bothered to death with Worcester's -perseverance. I am going to Spain. I shall stay perhaps several years, -and you and I may never meet again. I know you are going to remind me -that you never professed any particular love for me and that you never -deceived me as to your love of liberty; but I am not asking anything of -you as a right: I am only making an appeal to your good-nature, when I -entreat you not to receive Worcester's visits till I am gone, which will -be, I hope, in less than six weeks. It should be sooner, but that I have -many things to arrange relative to my coming of age." - -The simplicity and feeling manner in which Leinster delivered his little -speech affected me a good deal. No one, not even Fred Bentinck, could -ever attach himself to me, without inspiring me with such friendship as -results from a grateful heart. I believe all who know me will admit, -what I certainly can affirm to be true, namely, that no success of mine -ever once led me to fancy a single heart had been mine by right, or -_a cause de mon propre merite_, nor was I coquette enough to desire -general admiration. On the contrary, I thought it hard, and often a -bore, that my gratitude should so frequently be taxed, for what gave me -no pleasure. - -"Do not go, Leinster," said I, kissing his eye, where a tear was -glistening; "and, as long as you will stay, I will tell Worcester I must -decline receiving his visits." - -"When?" said Leinster, with a bright smile which was very pretty. - -"His lordship is coming here at seven, and I will then give him his -_conge tout de bon_," said I. - -Leinster hurried off in high spirits, that he might get back in time to -take me to Astley's. - -Lord Worcester came to me before I had finished my dinner. He assured -me that he now proposed to accompany me, if I still would permit him, -to Astley's. "But," said Lord Worcester, after some hesitation, "you -are, I am sure you must be, aware that my being present to see the Duke -of Leinster, or indeed any man on earth, conduct you home, is very hard -upon me." - -"I hope not," said I, "and certainly I am not aware of any such -thing. You are neither my husband, nor my lover, and you never made -any professions of love to me; I hope you felt none; because--" and I -hesitated in my turn. - -"Because what?" said Lord Worcester, in almost breathless anxiety. - -"Because my old friend, the Duke of Leinster, feels much annoyed at your -visits, and----" - -"And you assured me he was indifferent to you," interrupted Worcester. - -"I said I was not in love with him, neither am I; but I cannot bear -teasing him; so, to be frank with you, and one must be frank when one is -in such a hurry," continued I, laughing, "I have promised to beg of you -as a favour not to come here any more." - -Lord Worcester's face was scarlet first and then pale as death: he took -up his hat, half in indignation, and then put it down in despair! Had I -been more humble than I really am, I could not, with common sense, have -doubted the deep impression I had made on Worcester. - -"_Ecoutez, mon ami_," said I, holding out my hand to him. "I cannot -account for the prejudice which runs high in my favour among you young -men of rank. I am inclined rather to attribute it to fashion or some odd -accident, than to any peculiar merit on my part: still, flattered as I -ought to be, and deeply grateful as I always am, it will yet be paying -very dear for the impression which is excited in my favour, if, while my -own heart happens to be free as air and my fancy ever laughter-loving, I -am to condole all the morning with one fool, and sympathise the blessed -long evening with another; neither can I be tender and true to a dozen -of you at a time." - -"I did not," said Worcester, half indignantly, "I did not know that I -was quite a fool; and at all events, I shall not intrude my folly on you -if I am." - -In vain he tried to pull his hat completely over his eyes. The tears did -not glisten there, as they did in Leinster's; but they fell in torrents -as he attempted to take leave of me. - -"Oh dear me!" said I, as I sighed an inward good-bye to the self-same -harlequin-farces, at which I had laughed so heartily many years before, -when I accompanied poor Tom Sheridan to Astley's. - -"What am I to do, Lord Worcester?" I asked. "Upon my word I would rather -suffer anything myself, than cause unhappiness to those that love me. I -don't care a bit about myself. Only tell me what I can do for you and -Leinster and my sister Fanny? For all who love me in short; for I would -make all happy if I could, provided they don't grow too pathetic." - -"My dear, dearest Harriette," said Lord Worcester, "no man on earth, -feeling as I have done, could have been less pathetic, as you call it, -than I have been, for more than six months, that all my prayers, my -hopes, and my wishes, have been for you, and your love and happiness. I -have seldom visited you, and never, at least till to-day, done any one -thing that could possibly bore or offend you." - -I could not but acknowledge this to be true. - -"Well then," continued Worcester, "I will throw myself on my knees----" - -"No, pray don't," I exclaimed, "I really must go to Astley's, I have not -a moment to lose. My word is pledged to Leinster: but I believe that you -love me better than he is capable of loving anything, and, since you -are good enough to value my friendship, I will not cut you, indeed I -will not," and I gave him my hand, which he covered with warm kisses and -warmer tears. - -"You must go now," I added; "I never break my word, and Leinster will be -here directly; but, when he goes to Spain,----" - -"Does he go?" interrupted Worcester eagerly. - -"Everything is settled," answered I, "and, in less than six weeks -Leinster can torment you no more." - -Worcester appeared to be overjoyed. - -"And, when he is gone, there will be no man you care about left in -England?" - -"None: except indeed a sort of tenderness, not amounting to anything -like passion, for Lord Robert Manners: and then I have a great respect -for Lord Frederick's morals, and that is all! So now, my lord, you must -set off, and do be merry. You shall hear from me often, and as soon as -Leinster is gone you are welcome to try to make me in love with you. If -you fail, so much the worse for us both; since I hold everything which -is not love, to be mere dull intervals in life." - -"I may not call on you then?" asked Worcester. - -"I will write, and tell you all about it." - -There was now a loud rap at the door. - -"I am off," said Worcester. "I cannot bear to sit here a single instant -with Leinster. _En grace je te prie, mon ange, ayez pitie de moi et ne -m'oubliez pas._" - -He dropped on one knee to kiss my hand, like a knight of old, and the -next instant he was out of sight. - -"Was that the Marquis of Worcester who ran out of your home in such -a hurry, as I was getting out of my carriage?" asked Leinster, as he -entered the room, full dressed, his handsome leg, _en gros_, set off to -the best advantage by a fine silk stocking. - -"Yes," said I, "but I have desired him not to come again; so pray don't -be sentimental. I have had enough of that, this day, to last me my life." - -"You are very cold and heartless, which is what, from the expression of -your eyes, I had never suspected," remarked Leinster. - -"I was in love enough once," I rejoined, "God knows, and what good did -it do me?" - -After all, I arrived at Astley's just in time for my favourite -harlequinade. The house was well attended. I thought that I observed the -Marquis of Worcester, slyly glancing at us through the trelliswork of a -stage-box; but I was not quite certain. After the piece was finished, I -wanted to set Leinster down at his own door; but he declared himself so -hungry, that he could not get further than Westminster-bridge without a -slice of bread and butter, quite as thick as those his tutor Mr. Smith -used to provide him with. This luxury his footman procured, together -with a tankard of ale from a pothouse in the immediate vicinity of the -theatre. - -The next morning Fanny came to take leave of me. Colonel Parker could no -longer be absent from his regiment, which was stationed at Portsmouth, -therefore they proposed leaving London for that place on the following -day. - -"Remember me kindly to Lord Worcester, when you see him," said Fanny. -"There is something in that young man's countenance I like so much, -and his manners are so excessively high bred and gentlemanlike, that I -cannot think how you can resist him and treat him so very coldly as you -do. As to Amy, she is going stark mad to be introduced to him." - -"With all my heart," said I. - -We were now interrupted by the Prince Esterhazy, who entered all over -mud, saying, "_Comment ca va?_" without taking off his hat. - -"We are discussing the merits of the young Marquis of Worcester, -Prince," Fanny observed to him. - -"A very fine young man to be sure, certainly," said Esterhazy; "but good -mine God, can you not take him one to yourself, instead of all these -young fellows running, _toujours_, after you. I could not come near you -for a mile the other night, you have so many people round about you." - -"That was because you did not take off your hat," I said. - -"It is my way," answered the prince; "and I do the same to the queen." - -"_Ca se peut_," said I, "_mais, moi, je pretends que vous ne le ferez -pas ici: ainsi votre seigneurie aura la bonte, ou, d'oter votre chapeau, -ou de vous en aller toute suite._" - -"_Je prendrai la derniere partie_," answered the prince, putting on his -great coat and retiring. - -"You have been too severe, Harriette," said Fanny, after Prince -Esterhazy had taken his departure. - -"I would not have been so to a poor man; but really, I have no idea of -having one's house mistaken for a cabaret by a nasty coarse German, who, -with all his impudence, is, as I am informed, the meanest man alive; -besides he always stands with his back to the fire, without paying the -least attention when the ladies shiver and shake and vow and declare -they are dying with cold!" - -Fanny told me, calling another subject, that Julia had not only -surmounted her reluctance to Napier, but had become almost as fond of -him as she had been of Sir Harry Mildmay; and that was the reason why -she refused to join us at Brighton. - -I inquired whether he seemed disposed to behave well to Julia and her -family. - -"Oh, he is horribly stingy," answered Fanny, "and Julia is obliged to -affect coldness and refuse him the slightest favour, till he brings her -money; otherwise she would get nothing out of him. Yet he seems to be -passionately fond of her, and writes sonnets on her beauty, styling her, -at forty, although the mother of nine children, 'his beautiful maid.'" - -Fanny having her carriage at the door I proposed our calling on Julia. - -"I am going to take my leave of her," Fanny replied, and we drove -immediately to her residence. - -Julia, whose health had been very delicate since her last premature -confinement, was gracefully reclining on her _chaise longue_, in a most -elegant morning-dress. She expected Napier to dine with her. Sophia was -hammering at a little country dance on the pianoforte. - -To our inquiry how her curricle-beau went on, she answered, "Oh! he is -always driving about this neighbourhood, and I think I have discovered -who he is. I believe it to be Lord Berwick; but I am not quite certain. -However we are to be introduced to him to-morrow by Lord William -Somerset, who has been here this morning, to ask Julia's permission to -present a friend. He did not name him, but assured us he was a nobleman -of fortune and of great respectability." - -We wished her joy and kissed her, and took our leave of Julia, as I -afterwards did of Fanny, whose departure made me very melancholy. She -was the only sister who cared about me, and we had very seldom, in the -course of our lives, been separated from each other. We promised to -correspond regularly, and I assured her that when she should be settled -at Portsmouth, if she acquainted me that she had a spare bed for me, I -would certainly pay her a visit. - -"Tell me all about Lord Worcester," said Fanny, "and you may say to him -that it is lucky for Colonel Parker his lordship never turned an eye of -love on me." - -I came home very dull indeed, and was informed that Leinster, who had -been waiting for me more than an hour, had just left the house; but a -genteel young Frenchwoman was still in my dressing-room. She came to -offer herself in the place of my late _dame de compagnie_, Miss Eliza -Higgins. - -"_Je vous salue, mademoiselle,_" said I, as I entered my little boudoir. -"_D'ou venez vous?_" - -She informed me that she had been living with Lady Caroline Lamb. - -I liked her appearance very much: it was modest, quiet, and unaffected. -What a contrast to that Miss Eliza Higgins! She did not look as if -she was twenty; but she assured me, _sur son honneur_, she was in her -twenty-sixth year. I engaged her at once, declined to inquire her -character of Lady Caroline, and requested her to come to me the next day. - -I never talk much to servants or companions when they come to be hired. -If I dislike their faces I tell them I am engaged: if the contrary is -the case I desire them to come to me on trial. Wherefore should one -ask them, "Can you dress hair?" "Are you quick, good-tempered, honest, -handy," &c. &c, when one can as well answer all these questions in their -name, oneself, with a single yes? - -I passed a restless night. No woman ever felt _le besoin d'aimer_ with -greater ardour than I. What could I not have been, what could I not have -undertaken for the friend, the companion, the husband of my choice? -_En attendant_, methought, Lord Worcester knew how to love: that was -something; but then, where was the power of thought, the magic of the -mind, which alone could ensure my respect and veneration? - -The next morning my new French maid, who had just arrived, brought me -not a letter but a volume, from Lord Worcester: it was not a bad letter. -No letter is uninteresting which is written naturally and feelingly. - -"Does this young man love me?" I asked of Luttrell, who called on me -before I had finished my breakfast, as I presented to him the young -marquis's effusion. - -"With all his soul, his heart, and his strength," answered Luttrell. - -Leinster was my next visitor, and then Lord Robert Manners, dressed in -a red waistcoat, corduroy breeches, worsted stockings, and thick shoes, -which, I think, had nails in them; yet, in spite of all this, he looked -very handsome. The Duke of Wellington came next. - -"Why the devil did not your servant tell me that all these people were -here?" whispered the merely mortal hero, as he bolted downstairs, and -ran foul of Lord William Russell in the passage. - -"When do you mean to come and pass a month at Lewes?" asked Lord Robert -Manners. - -"Your application comes too late, Master Bob," said George Brummell, who -had just entered the room. "Harriette is about to bestow her fair hand -on the young Marquis of Worcester. But your fingers are covered with -ink, man! How happened that?" continued the beau, eyeing his lordship's -hands with a look of undisguised horror. - -"Franking a letter for some fool or another: such a nuisance!" answered -Bob Manners, looking at his fingers pettishly. - -These men talked a great deal more nonsense, only I have forgotten it. -After they were gone, I made my young Frenchwoman bring her work into my -dressing-room for an hour. - -"How did you like Lady Caroline Lamb?" I asked her, and, when she had -answered all my questions, I sat down to scribble the following letter -to my sister Fanny at Portsmouth. - - "MY DEAREST FANNY,--The frank Lord William has left for you - must not be lost, although I really have as yet nothing new or - lively to communicate. Your favourite, Lord Worcester, has not been - admitted since you were in town, notwithstanding he writes me such - letters! but I will enclose one of them to save trouble, for one - grows tired of all this nonsense. Poor Leinster is infinitely more - attentive and amiable, since this powerful rival has put him upon - his mettle. For my part, since the hope of mutual mind is over, I - try and make the best of this life, by laughing at it and all its - cares. - - "My new French maid has just been telling me a great deal - about her late mistress, Lady Caroline Lamb. Her ladyship's only - son is, I understand, in a very bad state of health. Lady Caroline - has therefore hired a stout young doctor to attend on him: and the - servants at Melbourne House have the impudence to call him Bergami! - He does not dine or breakfast with Lady Caroline or her husband, - who, you know, is Fred Lamb's brother, the Honourable William - Lamb; but he is served in his own room, and her ladyship pays - great attention to the nature and quality of his repasts. The poor - child, being subject to violent attacks in the night, Lady Caroline - is often to be found after midnight in the doctor's bedchamber, - consulting him about her son. I do not mean you to understand - this ironically, as the young Frenchwoman says herself there very - likely is nothing in it, although the servants tell a story about a - little silk stocking, very like her ladyship's, having been found - one morning quite at the bottom of the Doctor's bed. This doctor, - as Therese tells me, is a coarse, stupid-looking, ugly fellow; but - then Lady Caroline declares to her, _que monsieur le docteur a du - fond!_ - - "She is always trying to persuade her servants that sleep is - unnecessary, being _une affaire d'habitude seulement_. She often - called up Therese in the middle of the night, and made her listen - while she touched the organ in a very masterly style. - - "Her ladyship's poetry," says Therese, "is equally good, in - French, in English, or in Italian; and I have seen some excellent - specimens of her talents for caricatures. She sometimes hires - a servant, and sends him off the next day for the most absurd - reasons: such as, 'Thomas! you look as if you required a dose of - salts; and altogether you do not suit me,' &c. She is the meanest - woman on earth, and the greatest tyrant generally speaking, - _quoiqu'elle a ses moments de bonte;_ but as to her husband, he is - at all times proud, severe, and altogether disagreeable." - - "Lady Caroline ate and drank enough for a porter, and, when - the doctor forbade wine, she was in the habit of running into her - dressing-room to _dedommager_ herself, with a glass or two of _eau - de vie vieille, de cognac!_! One day, Therese, whose bed-chamber - adjoined that of William Lamb, overheard the following conversation - between them. - - "LADY C. 'I must and will come into your room. I am your - lawful wife. Why am I to sleep alone?' - - "WILLIAM. 'I'll be hang'd if you come into my room, Caroline; - so you may as well go quietly into your own.' - - "Lady Caroline persevered. - - "'Get along you little drunken----,' said William Lamb. - - "The gentle Caroline wept at this outrage. - - "'_Mais ou est, donc, ce petit coquin de docteur?_' said - William, in a conciliatory tone. - - "'Ah! _il a du fond, ce docteur la_,' answered Caroline, with - a sigh. - - "Mind I don't give you all this nonsense for truth; I merely - repeat the stories of my young Frenchwoman: and Lady Caroline - has assured her housekeeper that Therese abhors a lie. Take her - ladyship altogether, this comical woman must be excellent company. - I only wish I had the honour of being of her acquaintance. Not that - I think much of her first novel, _Glenarvon;_ and she is really not - quite mad enough to excuse her writing in her husband's lifetime, - while under his roof, the history of her love and intrigue with - Lord Byron! The letters are really his lordship's, for he told - me so himself. I once asked Luttrell, who was a particular - acquaintance of William Lamb, why that gentleman permitted his wife - to publish such a work. - - "'I have already put the very same question to William, - myself,' answered Luttrell, 'and this was his reply: "I give you my - word and honour, Luttrell, that I never heard one single word about - _Glenarvon_ until Caroline put her book into my own hands herself - on the day it was published."' - - "Lady Caroline, I am told, always speaks of her husband with - much respect, and describes her anxiety about his maiden speech in - the House of Commons, to witness which she had in the disguise of a - boy contrived to pass into the gallery. But enough of her ladyship, - of whose nonsense the world is tired. I admire her talents, and - wish she would make a better use of them. - - "Poor Alvanly's carriage-horses have, I fancy, been taken in - execution. However, he said last night at Amy's, that he had a - carriage at the ladies' service, only he had got no horses; so we - set him down. - - "'I cannot find any knocker, my lord,' said the footman, at - our carriage-door, after fumbling about for some time. - - "'Knock with your stick,' said Alvanly, and then continued his - conversation to us, 'my d--n duns made such a noise every morning, - I could not get a moment's rest, till I ordered the knocker to be - taken off my street-door.' - - "Lord Worcester has been making up to Julia, who has promised - to be his friend with me, I mean to a certain extent; but, when he - teases her to tell him whether he has any chance of ever having me - under his protection, she declares she knows nothing about me or - my plans, except that I am always the most determined, obstinate - woman in Europe. Brummell they say is entirely ruined. In short, - everybody is astonished, and puzzled to guess how he has gone on so - long! God bless you, my dearest Fanny. I meant only to write three - lines, and here is a volume for you. Remember me kindly to Colonel - Parker, and believe me ever, - - "Your affectionate sister, - "HARRIETTE. - - "P.S.--Do pray, keep yourself warm: particularly your - chest. Dr. Bain says your little cough is chiefly nervous; but - I am anxious to hear how the air of Portsmouth agrees with you; - therefore write soon all about it." - - - - -CHAPTER XVII - - -Viscount Berwick was a nervous, selfish, odd man, and afraid to drive -his own horses. Lord William Somerset was an excellent whip; but he had -no horses to whip. Lord Berwick, like Lord Barrymore, wanted a tiger; -while Somerset required a man whose curricle he could drive and whose -money he could borrow. The bargain was struck; and Tiger-Somerset had -driven Lord Berwick some years, when his lordship, after having, for -more than a fortnight, been looking at my sister Sophia at her window, -one day addressed the tiger as follows. - -"I have at last found a woman I should like to marry, Somerset, and you -know I have been more than twenty years upon the look-out." - -"Who is she?" said Somerset, in some alarm. - -Berwick told him all he knew and all he had seen of Sophia. - -"I think I know whom you mean," said Tiger, "since you mention the -house; because it belongs to Miss Storer, Lord Carysfort's niece, who -has, I know, a fine young girl staying with her, whom Lord Deerhurst -seduced." - -"Seduced already! you do not say so?" - -"Most true, my lord," said Tiger-Somerset; "besides, I've often seen -her, when Deerhurst used to take her out last year. She has no eyebrows, -and----" - -"I don't care for that, I love the girl, and will have her," was his -lordship's knock-down argument; and Lord William Somerset, having -obtained permission from Julia, presented Lord Berwick to Sophia on the -following morning, - -Sophia would not hear of such a very nasty, poking, old, dry man, on -his first visit; but the second day she was induced to drive out in his -barouche. On the third she declared his lordship's equipage the easiest -she ever rode in; but then, he wore such a large hat! In short, she -could not endure him even to shake hands with her. I never knew Sophia -evince so much decided character since she was born, as in her dislike -of Lord Berwick; though she condescended to enter his barouche and dine -with him, accompanied by Julia or myself, yet no persuasion of Lord -Berwick, no prayers that his lordship had wit to make, could prevail on -her to trust herself for an instant in his society. Things went on this -way for several weeks, Berwick made very pleasant parties to Richmond, -and did everything with princely magnificence. Worcester's good uncle, -Lord Berwick's tiger, wanted Worcester to join their parties, and -Worcester would not go anywhere without me. - -My time being so gaily taken up, I had to reproach myself with neglect -towards my sister Fanny. "Give me my writing-desk," said I to my maid, -Therese, at past four in the morning, "for I have made a vow not to -sleep till I have fully answered Fanny's last two letters," which I did -as follows; - - "MY DEAREST SISTER,--It is past four o'clock in the morning, - and yet my conscience still keeps me awake till I have answered - your two letters. Believe me, my neglect does not in the least - proceed from want of affection. One is sometimes teased into going - out, till one acquires a sort of habit of society, which it becomes - difficult to throw off. Sophia's new lover, Lord Berwick, did not - let me enjoy a single day in quiet; and not at all out of regard or - respect for my superior merit; but merely because Sophia refuses to - stir without me. - - "The Duke of Leinster's departure for Spain is at last - absolutely fixed for next Monday. Lord Worcester heard this at - White's club-house, and was so overjoyed that everybody in the room - laughed at him. For my part I can scarcely understand why I feel so - melancholy at the thought of losing a young man whom I really never - cared about; but I am always thus, at parting with anybody to whose - face I have become accustomed. Not only am I sorry to lose the Duke - of Leinster, but I feel angry and disgusted with Worcester, for - desiring his departure. - - "We were all at the play last night: that is to say Julia, - Sophia, Lord W. Somerset, Lord Berwick and Lord Worcester, with - your humble servant, in two private boxes adjoining each other. - Lord Berwick teases Julia and me from morning till night. He - wants us to persuade Sophia to receive a settlement from him of - five hundred a year, and to place herself under his protection. - We do not like to advise at all on such subjects; and whenever he - ventures to touch on them to Sophia herself, she begins to sob - and cry as if she were threatened with sudden death! I asked her - last night why she accepted so many magnificent presents from his - lordship, and suffered him to put himself to such immense expense, - if she disliked him so violently. - - "'Oh, I never said I disliked his carriages, or his jewels, or - his nice dinners,' answered Sophia. - - "Lord Worcester is quite as indefatigable as Lord Berwick, - in his endeavours to persuade me to accompany him to Brighton, - his lordship having just entered the Tenth Hussars. Lord Berwick - proposes taking a fine house at Brighton for Sophia and Julia, and - sending down his plate, man-cook, &c., but Sophia says he may hire - his fine house if he likes, but for her part she will live with - Julia in a smaller one, though at the same time, she shall have no - sort of objection to become one at his dinner-parties, if Worcester - and myself are present. Thus Sophia has set Lord Berwick to work to - plead Worcester's cause for him. I got into a passion one day last - week, and declared I would not be teased out of my liberty, which - I valued more than my life. - - "In the evening, Lord Worcester found me seriously ill, with - an oppression on my chest, to which I am become rather subject. I - could not have imagined that any young man in any class of life - could have made such a good nurse! He ran up and down from the - kitchen to the drawing-room twenty times, and poured out my water - gruel and my tea, as though this had been his natural vocation. - Seriously, I was very grateful. Nothing attaches a woman, in my - weak, nervous state of health, like these kind of attentions; and - I must do justice to the excellent taste of Worcester in never - intruding his passion on me. - - "'Let Harriette please herself, or rather, Harriette must do - as God pleases about loving me, but my affection for her cannot - change. I live in her happiness, whoever may contribute to it. I - may be miserable; but I shall never cease to love her;' and then he - winds up his letters thus: 'may my God forsake me, if ever I love - another woman! and may I be eternally wretched, if ever, in word or - deed, I am unfaithful to you, to the latest hour of my life!' - - "I, who am, as you know, anything but cold-hearted, of course - feel touched by Lord Worcester's apparent devotion to me; but I am - not a bit touched with love. The tenderness of a sister is all I - feel. Good heavens! what can he expect from one who has loved as I - have loved, and gone through what I have gone through! - - "I don't think I shall go to Brighton or to Worcester. I am - tired of flattery: it makes me sick; for I know that I am nothing - particular, or Ponsonby would have died rather than have left me - to such despair as he did. I am now beginning to dislike society - and, when I cannot enjoy that of very clever, intelligent people, I - would rather read Shakespeare's plays, _Gil Blas_ or _The Vicar of - Wakefield._ - - "Poor Leinster! that man is only about three degrees and a - half above a good-tempered Newfoundland dog, and yet I am sorry he - is leaving me, perhaps for ever. - - "I often think what I might have been, and then I wonder much - that I am what I am! I love home, I am somewhat domestic, I love, - dearly love my parents, and wish to improve the little talents God - has given me. I am very affectionate, and naturally honourable; - because I abhor a lie! and yet behold me!--Harriette Wilson. - - "If you were to die, who would stand my friend when the - world tramples on me? I put this question to Worcester the other - day, after I had been frightening myself about your health; and - Worcester shed a great many tears, as though the idea of my ever - being left friendless affected him deeply. Yet, no doubt, the - time will come, and you and I, if we live, shall witness it, when - Worcester, having forgotten my very existence, will, while the - lady of his heart or his wife is hanging on his arm, pass me by as - a perfect stranger! This too, I said to Worcester, and, unasked, - almost unattended to by me, he solemnly pledged himself to have no - wife on earth or in heaven but myself, and wrote down the oath. - - "Enough of the sublime and the pathetic, and now a word or two - about yourself; but, let me remind you first, that it is at your - own particular request I have been such an egotist. - - "I am glad to hear that Parker looks forward with so much - delight to the idea of becoming a father. It is a strong proof of a - good heart, generally speaking. With regard to the repugnance you - say you feel, in availing yourself of the invitations from ladies, - who believe you to be Parker's wife, I certainly in your place - would never seek them; neither are you bound to say anything of - yourself which can prejudice society against you. You tell me that - some of the ladies in your neighbourhood will take no excuses. Well - then visit them, whenever you are in the humour, and if they have - good taste they will be delighted with your society. - - "I cannot express to you how glad I was to learn, from your - last letter, that you are more comfortable and happy than you have - ever been in your life before. Did you get a letter from our dear - mother yesterday? Napier is at Melton Mowbray. To-morrow we all - dine with Lord Berwick again, at his house in Grosvenor Square. - - "I meet Worcester at everybody's house but my own, where, out - of respect for Leinster, I seldom admit him; since, by the powers - and upon his honour, it bothers him to death. - - "Amy has, at this present writing, a great deal of work on - her hands, owing to our general change or projected change of - administration. Worcester, Berwick, Parker and Napier; all to win - and seduce away at once! - - "Parker she has already made an attempt on: this you with all - your good-natured charity have confessed: and the other night at - the play, we observed her sitting in a private box on the opposite - side of the house with Baron Tuille. Her glass was pointedly - turned towards Worcester all the evening. After the play, while we - were waiting for our carriage, Amy, with an affection of childish - wildness, made loud remarks on the elegance of Worcester's person, - as we passed her. Our party stood on the opposite side of the room - from that where the Baron and Amy were waiting. Worcester however - was obliged to pass close to them, to inquire for Lord Berwick's - servants, and Tuille at the express desire of Amy probably, tapped - him on the arm as he was hurrying along, and requested to have the - pleasure of introducing Mrs. Sydenham to him. Worcester in much - confusion bowed low, very low; but passed on immediately afterwards - without uttering a single syllable. - - "What a bore for Amy! and yet it serves her right! - - "'I could not possibly avoid being presented to your sister,' - said Lord Worcester on his return; and he spoke with such agitation - and confusion that it was impossible to help laughing at him. - - "'You were not very attentive to her, as I think I could - observe,' Julia remarked. - - "'I would not have spoken a single word to her for the - world, and I only wish, as a gentleman, it had been possible to - have avoided bowing. Mrs. Sydenham has, by her perseverance, made - herself so very odious to me,' was Worcester's reply. - - "Lord Berwick laughed heartily at his extreme delicacy; so - did Lord William; but Worcester is steady as a rock to me and my - interests. Not even ridicule, that sharpest weapon which malice can - turn against the feelings and prejudices of youth, ever changes him - one jot, even when it wounds him most severely. - - "'Any unimpassioned, unprejudiced observer of Harriette's - mind and character,' says Worcester, 'must agree with me, that - it is much undervalued by that part of the world to whom her - eccentricities and careless observance of many established forms - only are known; but Harriette's goodness and singleness of heart - approximate her nearer to my idea of perfection, than any human - being I have yet met with, and her face and person, to me, convey - all I can imagine most desirable.' - - "I repeat this to you, my dear Fanny, merely to show the - force and power of ardent passion in youth. _Dieu! comme cela nous - embellit!_ - - "O, _la belle passion! que l'amour!_ not that I have known - much good resulting from it. I might almost say, with Candide, - '_Helas! je l'ai connu, cet amour, ce souverain des coeurs! cette - ame de notre ame! cependant, il ne m'a jamais valu qu'un baiser, et - vingt coups de pied! puisse il vous etre plus propice!_' - - "You shall hear what becomes of me next Tuesday, after - Leinster will have left London. In the meantime, I need not say how - truly I am yours, &c. - - "HARRIETTE." - - -Fanny's answer:-- - - "MY DEAR HARRIETTE,--It is very lucky you wrote when you - did, because I was getting in such a very great passion! Lord - Worcester, from what you tell me, and from all I have seen, is, - without any exception, the most interesting young man I ever knew; - and I am surprised you do not think him handsome. Do remember me - to him very tenderly: as to your stupid Duke of Leinster he never - deserved you. - - "I am just returned from the Isle of Wight. The weather was - rather rough, and, at best, I cannot say I like sailing half as - well as riding; nevertheless, we have been very merry; Parker is so - kind and affectionate, and the officers of his regiment are so very - attentive and polite to me. - - "Whom do you think I met at Cowes? No less a personage than - your friend and kind creditor Mr. Smith of Oxford-street. I - recognised him by his voice, as he was addressing a little fat - friend of his. We were sitting on a bench near enough to hear every - word they said. - - "'Mr. Smith,' said the little fat man, holding out his hand, - 'mercy on me! Smith! Is it really you? What, in the name of wonder - can have brought you to Cowes?' - - "'Vy, lord,' answered Smith, 'vat but the vinds and the vaves - could bring me here, hey? I've been down to Margate since I seed - you. Bless your life, I'm on a tower.' - - "'What might that be pray?' - - "'Vy, a tower, man. Don't you know vat a tower is?' - - "'Not I, indeed!' - - "'Vy, you stupid! a tower is a kind of a circular journey, - gallivanting from this here place to that are place, for a month or - two merely, to pleasure it like.' - - "'And pray what might you call pleasure, Mr. Smith?' - - "'Pleasure?' answered Smith, 'vy I calls pleasure gitting - up at six in a morning, and taking a dip into the sea, and then - a hearty good breakfast of hot rolls and butter, and coffee and - eggs.' - - "'And what then?' said the little fat man. - - "'Vat then? you ere a bachelor too, and ask vat then? And all - these ere beautiful nice, plump, dear lasses about? Bless their - dear souls! I'm going to take one on 'em to the play to night.' - - "'Oh! you rogue and a half,' said the little fat man, giving - Smith a punch on the breast. - - "Apropos! talking of vulgarity, I have had a proposal of - marriage since I saw you, from Mr. Blore the stone-mason, who keeps - a shop in Piccadilly. Parker says it is all my fault, for being so - very humble and civil to everybody; but, you must recollect, this - man was our near neighbour when we were all children together, and - I cannot think I had any right to refuse answering his first civil - inquiry after my health, by which he no doubt thought as a man of - good property and better expectations, he did me honour. Since - then, he has often joined me in my little rural walks early in the - morning. When first his conversation began to wax tender I scarcely - believed my ears. However, those soft speeches were speedily - succeeded by a proposal of marriage! You know my foolish way of - laughing at everything of this kind, which was what encouraged him - to argue the point, after I had begged to decline his polite offer. - 'Look ye here, my dear lady,' said he, 'these here officers cut a - splash! And it's all very fine being called Mrs. Parker, and the - like a that; but then it's nothing compared to a rale husband. Now, - I means onorable, remember that.' I was interrupting him. 'Come, I - don't ax you, my dear, to make up your mind this morning. Marriage - is a serious kind of a thing, and I wants no woman for to marry - me till she has determined to make an industrious, good wife. Not - as I should have any objection to your taking a bit of pleasure - of a Sunday, and wearing the best of everything; but, at the same - time, we must stick to the main chance for a few years longer, if - ever we wishes for to keep our willa, and be raley genteel and - respectable. Not but what I've got now as good a shay an oss as any - man need to wish for, and an ouse over my head, full of handsome - furniture, and plenty of statters (statues), still I looks forwards - to better things.' - - "Though it is morally and physically impossible for a woman, - be she what or whom she may, to attach herself to anything so - low and vulgar as this poor Mr. Blore, after she has acquired - the taste, by the habit of good society, still I certainly have - a right to feel obliged to any honest man who yet considers me - worthy to become his partner for life; and I could not have said - anything cross or harsh to him for the world. You have no idea what - difficulty I found in making him believe that I would not marry him. - - "'There my dear,' said he, after I had assured him, over and - over again, that I must really decline his offer. 'There my dear! - I will leave you now. I don't want you to decide all at once; but, - remember, you must not let what I a been a-saying about our minding - the main chance, frighten you; because you'll find me a very - reasonable, good-natured fellow: and, as for going to the play, - if you are fond of that, I can get orders for the pit, whenever I - like.' - - "I presume you have now had quite enough of my intended, and I - know you will want to hear something of my health, about which you - so kindly interest yourself. I was alarmed about ten days ago by - the rupture of a small blood-vessel, which caused an expectoration - of blood for two days. Being unwilling you or my dear mother should - be at all alarmed about me, I would not mention this, till all - these bad symptoms were removed completely, which is now the case. - My physician tells me such small vessels are of little consequence, - and, by avoiding over-fatigue and taking care of myself, he has no - doubt I shall get perfectly well. Indeed there is now nothing at - all the matter with me, unless I attempt to walk fast; and then I - feel a something like stagnation and fulness about my heart, and - my lips turn blueish. However, I both eat and sleep well, and I am - told that when patients ask Dr. Baillie to prescribe for them for - any pain or ache, while enjoying these two advantages, the doctor - loses patience and refuses to listen to them: _et tant mieux!_ I - do not want to die, and go we know not whither, and lose sight of - the bright sun for ever. I am not even ambitious of a show-death, - to have my fortitude, or my sweet smile, or my calm courage, or my - last prayers extolled. You know I am not in the least romantic; but - I am attached to life for my dear children's sake, and, in a word, - though it may be cowardly, yet I hope and pray that God will spare - my life many years longer: but, if he has willed it otherwise, I - will try not to murmur at his decree: and I tell you frankly that - my sins do not sit at all heavy on my conscience; because I never - doubt the goodness of God. This is all very grave; but I am so - seldom grave that you will forgive me. - - "I shall write to you, my dear sister, again very soon; but I - will conclude now; because I am a little too serious: so believe me - ever, - - "Most truly and affectionately yours, - "FANNY PARKER." - - -When Lord Worcester had ascertained that Leinster was really safe on his -journey to the continent, half wild with joy he went and consulted Julia -as to what she really believed was his chance of inducing me to go to -Brighton. I had obtained his promise not to call on me, nor write to me, -for at least three days after Leinster's departure. - -"We shall only quarrel," said I to his lordship, "if you come to me -rejoicing, as I knew you will, at a circumstance which no doubt will -affect me _pour le moment._" - -I passed a melancholy evening after Leinster had taken leave of me. He -was to sail from Portsmouth. Should he be detained by foul winds, even -for a single hour, he promised to write to me. The first day I refused -to admit any visitor, and on the second after his departure I received -a letter from him, to acquaint me that the unfavourable state of the -weather might possibly detain him a week or more at Portsmouth. My -resolution was taken in an instant: which wise resolution may be learned -from the following letter addressed to my sister. - - "MY DEAREST FANNY,--Leinster is at Portsmouth, waiting for - a fair wind to convey him to Spain. I am too melancholy to keep - my promise of receiving Worcester's visits; and, besides, being - desirous of shaking hands once more with the poor duke, you will - believe me really and in truth very anxious to hear and see how - you are, after the accident you have so long concealed from us. - Therefore expect me almost as soon as my letter; and do pray be - glad to see me. - - "I propose leaving London at eight o'clock to-morrow morning, - till then believe me, - - "Most truly yours, - "HARRIETTE." - - -After despatching this, and a letter full of excuses to Lord Worcester, -I began to assist my maid Therese to prepare for my journey to -Portsmouth on the following morning. We arrived in time for dinner. -Fanny was looking better than usual. Colonel Parker was absent, and she -was kind enough to invite the Duke of Leinster to dine with us. His -Grace was very glad to see me, in his dry way; but it was impossible to -avoid making such comparisons between my two young lovers as were most -favourable to Worcester. - -The marquis wrote me immensely long letters every day; and though I -expected Sunday would have been a day of rest, I was presented with a -large packet which Worcester had sent by the stage coach. He trembled -lest I should be induced to accompany Leinster to Spain, and described -the anguish and misery he had experienced, in learning from my servant -that I had left London: for it was only on his return from my house, -that he had received my letter acquainting him with my departure. - -Fanny lived in a delightful cottage, surrounded with a large garden. -There were two very pleasant women staying with her on a visit; it made -me truly happy to see her so comfortable and in such good spirits. - -Fanny did not like Leinster, and I felt rather cooled and disgusted, -when she forced on my attention his extreme selfishness in leaving -England without inquiring at all about the state of my finances. Then, -poor Worcester was, or seemed to be, so very unhappy about me; and I -saw no chance of these boobies, Leinster, his brother, and FitzGibbon, -sailing, as the wind had not shifted the least in the world during the -ten days I passed at Portsmouth. - -Leinster, much as he professed to esteem, respect and love me, went out -in a sailing-boat every morning, instead of walking about with me. My -pride took the alarm and, one fine morning, having previously arranged -everything for my return to town, and taken leave of my sister, I coolly -wished him _un bon voyage_ and, to his utter astonishment, jumped into -the carriage which was to convey me to London. - -I found a great many cards and letters on my table in town: a very kind -one from Lord Robert Manners, another from Lord Frederick Bentinck, and, -what was better still, another blank cover, directed to me, containing -two bank-notes for one hundred pounds each! - -Julia called on me the morning after my arrival. - -"Do go to Brighton," said she. "You will never find anybody to like you -as I am sure Lord Worcester does. I really would not advise you, but -that I think he deserves you." - -"I will consider about it," said I, "in the meantime pray tell me some -news. How does Lord Berwick go on?" - -Julia told me that he was quite as much in love with Sophia as ever. - -"And Sophia?" - -"Oh, Sophia hates his lordship, if possible, more than ever, and -declares she will not go to Brighton unless you decide to accompany -Worcester there." - -We were now interrupted by a visit from Lord Worcester. I will not -attempt to describe his rapture, or how violently he was agitated at -meeting with me. My readers, besides accusing me of vanity, would not -believe such exaggerated feeling as he evinced, to be in human nature. -In short, since there is nothing so uninteresting as descriptions of -love-scenes, be it known that I was pressed by Julia, entreated by -Worcester, and inclined by gratitude, being moreover in a state of -health which required nursing; therefore, without being in love, I -agreed to place myself under his protection. It was a grievous sin, -and every one of this kind counts no doubt; and, indeed, I almost fear -the recording angel, as he mounted up to heaven with mine, so far from -dropping a tear on it to blot it out for ever, doubled this one, and so -cried quits with my uncle Toby. - -There certainly was much aggravation of sin in my projected intercourse -with the Marquis of Worcester. Many women, very hard pressed _par la -belle nature_, intrigue, because they see no prospect, nor hopes, of -getting husbands; but I, who might, as everybody told me and were -incessantly reminding me, have, at this period, smuggled myself into the -Beaufort family, by merely declaring to Lord Worcester, with my finger -pointed towards the North--"that way leads to Harriette Wilson's room"; -yet so perverse was my conscience, so hardened by what Fred Bentinck -calls my perseverance in loose morality, that I scorned the idea of -taking such an advantage of the passion I had inspired in, what I -believed to be, a generous breast, as might hereafter cause unhappiness -to himself, while it would embitter the peace of his parents. - - - - -CHAPTER XVIII - - -Viscount Berwick, in a magnificent equipage drawn by four milk white -horses, or four of raven black, I forget which, led the way towards -Brighton, followed by the more humble vehicles containing his cook, -his plate, his frying-pans, and other utensils. Soon afterwards Julia -and Sophia started in a neat little chariot drawn by two scraggy black -horses, _parce que Mademoiselle Sophie voulait faire paraitre les beaux -restes de sa vertu chancelante._ Lord Worcester I sent down alone, that -he might hire a house and have everything in readiness. - -"But, if I once join my regiment I shall not be allowed to return," -Worcester observed. - -"No matter," said I, "my maid and myself can find our way to Brighton -with perfect safety." - -"I can ride ten or fifteen miles to meet you," Worcester said, and -having made me promise again and again that he might expect me at a -certain hour on a certain day, he took his leave and also set off for -Brighton. - -"I have a great mind not to go," said I to myself after Worcester had -left me. However, my word was passed and my maid had already begun to -pack my trunks. - -"Pray do not go," said my wild, young tormentor, Augustus Berkeley, who -came upstairs without permission, just as we were ready to start. "I -have so sworn to Worcester that he would not be successful." - -I laughed. - -"What do you laugh at, you tiresome creature?" asked Augustus. - -"At your vanity, in supposing that none but the most immaculate could -refuse you." - -"Why, I am a better-looking fellow than Worcester, at all events," said -Augustus. - -"True," I replied, "but then you do not like me half as well." - -"All nonsense, nobody loves you better than I do, only I have the -misfortune not to be a lord." - -"I have been at least as civil to you, as I ever was to the Marquis of -Sligo, the Prince Esterhazy, and many others." - -"Well," said Augustus, "however that may be, I will never forgive you -for going to Worcester." - -"It is a very hard case," I observed, "but I cannot help it." - -Augustus left me sulkily, and we were soon on our way to Brighton. I -was just growing tired of my journey and of the society of my maid, -who, probably, was as much bored with mine, since she had fallen fast -asleep, when I observed the figure of an officer or private wearing some -uniform, which looked at a distance like that of the Tenth Hussars, -galloping towards us. As it approached it grew a little more like the -young marquis, and yet, somehow or other, I could not reconcile it to my -mind that he should wear regimentals. I had forgotten that circumstance -and felt disappointed. A gentleman always looks so much better in plain -clothes. I was soon put out of suspense by his kissing his hand to me. - -Love is sharp-sighted. In another minute or two the Marquis of Worcester -was blushing and bowing by the side of my carriage. He told me that he -had got a house for me in Rock Gardens, where he had left his footman, -Mr. Will Haught, to get all square, that being the man's favourite -expression. The said Mr. Will Haught was a stiff, grave, steady person -of about forty. He always wore the Beaufort livery, which was as stiff -as himself, and used to take his hat off and sit in the hall on a -Sunday, with a clean pocket-handkerchief tied about his head, reading -the Bible, offering thus to the reflecting mind these two excellent -maxims: "Respect God, but do not catch cold." I enter into all these -particulars, by way of recommending him to Alderman Goodbehere, I think -it was, who promulgated similar sentiments about a cold church, though I -have from a sense of propriety omitted his first expletive epithet. - -This Mr. Will was commander-in-chief of Worcester's servants. He had -indeed been bred in the family and was, I believe, the Duchess of -Beaufort's footman before his lordship was born, and though he wore -a livery he had since been raised to the rank of under butler by the -Duke of Beaufort. Why he was dismissed from that most honourable post, -to follow the fortunes of his noble young master, I cannot tell, -unless indeed, Her Grace, touched and deeply impressed by the pious -and respectful manner in which Will Haught was in the habit of binding -up his temples on a Sunday with his clean pocket-handkerchief, while -reading the Bible, had employed him as a spy, to watch over the morals -of her hopeful first-born. Be that as it may, we found Will quite as -busy in settling everything for my comfort, as though I had been the -duchess's chosen daughter-in-law, for whom he was making all square, -upon the square, which means, I believe, in the way of honesty. - -The coachman, Mr. Boniface, had also had the honour of driving the -duchess in auld lang syne. We found him by no means so officiously -polite and attentive as Mr. Will Haught: on the contrary, he was fast -asleep, with his nice little _vielle cour_ cotton wig all awry. We found -a groom in the Beaufort livery at the door, waiting for his lordship's -horse, which he handed over by the bridle to the under-groom, and the -under-groom sent a soldier with it to the stable. - -"What a bore it will be to have all these lazy porter-drinking men in -one's house," thought I, with very unmarchioness-like humility: but then -I never set up for anything at all like a woman of rank. - -Will Haught introduced my maid to a female servant, whom he had himself -hired, and whom he desired to show her mistress's apartments to my -woman. As to Lord Worcester, he was so excessively overjoyed at finding -all his fears and dread of losing me at an end, that the moment he could -contrive to get rid of Will Haught, he pressed my hand, first to his -trembling lips and next to his heart, and then he burst into tears, -which he however, from very shame, dried up as soon as he possibly -could, and with the genuine feelings of affection and hospitality, he -asked me if, after the fatigue of my little journey, I should prefer -passing the night alone. - -"And where are you to sleep?" said I. - -His lordship informed me that he had a good bed in his dressing-room. - -I then told him that, if he would permit me to pass this night alone, -he would see me in excellent temper and spirits to-morrow. "At present -everything is strange here, therefore, if I am a little melancholy, you -must not, my dear Worcester, fancy it proceeds from want of regard for -you." - -It was impossible not to be reconciled to Worcester, while he thus -acceded to all my wishes, reasonable or unreasonable. A good lesson -this, for many a fool who thinks to win a woman's heart by crossing all -her desires. - -An excellent dinner was well served, and, while we partook of it, his -lordship informed me that Lord Berwick, whom he always called Tweed, -wished to have dined with us accompanied by Sophia and Julia; but he had -not ventured to invite them without first ascertaining whether it would -be agreeable to me. - -Lord Worcester's fine person looked remarkably well in the elegant -evening uniform of the Tenth, and I was so touched and won, by being -allowed to have my own way with such perfect liberty, in the house of -another person, that, when he handed me to the door of my bed-chamber, -and there took a most tender and affectionate leave of me for the -night, I was almost tempted to regret that I had expressed a desire to -pass it in solitude. - -"It is a nice room," said I, "and the fire burns cheerfully. Do you -think there are any ghosts in this part of the world?" - -Worcester however was too modest in his idolatry, and had too great a -dread of giving offence to me, to take my hint. - -He merely reminded me that he was close at hand; and I had but to touch -my bell, to bring him in an instant to my side. - -The next morning I was awakened by Lord Berwick's odd voice calling to -Worcester. - -"I have brought you some prime apples, which came from my country house -this morning, and Sophia wants you both to dine with me to-day. In -short, she will not come unless you do." - -I hurried on my dressing-gown, and assured Lord Berwick that I should -meet her with pleasure. - -Lord Worcester said that he ought to be at parade; but declared, no -matter what might be the consequence, that he could not and never would -leave me again. - -After breakfast, his two grooms rode up to the door with three horses: -one of them was a delightfully quiet-looking lady's horse. - -"Who is to ride that one which is without a saddle?" I inquired. - -Worcester made Will Haught bring down from his dressing-room one of the -most beautiful, easy side-saddles I ever beheld, richly embroidered with -blue silk. - -"Will you ride, Harriette?" asked Worcester. "If so, I hope you will -approve of this saddle of my choosing, which shall always be kept in my -dressing-room, that no one may use it for an instant, except yourself." - -We took a very long ride, and were joined by my former acquaintance -Colonel Palmer, who pressed me very politely to accompany Lord -Worcester to dine at the mess-room. - -"Not to day," said I; "certainly next week, with Worcester's permission." - -Colonel Palmer fixed on an early day in the week, and kindly assured us -he would get the mess-dinner kept back for an hour, knowing how fond -Worcester was of late hours. He then ventured gently to hint something -about Colonel Quintin's displeasure at his having failed to attend -parade that morning. - -"I shall scold you," continued the colonel, addressing me, "if this -happens again." - -Worcester and I rode about the country together till it was nearly time -to dress: the under-groom, who was waiting at my door for my horse, held -out his hand for my foot, to assist me in dismounting, while his master -was taking leave of Colonel Palmer; and I was just going to accept his -assistance when Worcester, in much agitation, desired him to desist, and -never attempt such presumption again. - -I assured his lordship that I should not like him a bit the better -for dirtying his hands or his gloves with my muddy shoes: but he was -peremptory. - -Lord Berwick treated us most magnificently; but Sophia, the gentle, -dovelike Sophia, was become so very cross and irritable to his lordship, -that it was disagreeable to everybody present. - -After dinner we played at cards; and, when we had concluded one of the -most stupid evenings possible, Worcester and I took our leave. - -The next morning Lord Berwick called on me, to entreat that I would -consider my sister's welfare and persuade her to place herself under his -protection. - -"The annuity I propose giving her," continued his lordship, "of L500, -shall be derived from money in the funds." - -"And so you really are at last caught, my lord," said I, "fairly caught -in love's trap? Now I am rather curious to learn what particular -happiness you expect to enjoy with a girl who, though she is my sister, -I may say, as you and everybody know it as well as myself, never -showed any character but once in her whole life; and that was in her -unequivocal dislike of you?" - -"I do not mind that," answered his lordship, "and, by giving her -whatever she wants, she may perhaps get over her dislike." - -"Is it her beauty then which has won your heart?" - -"In part," answered Berwick; "but chiefly the opinion I have formed -of her truth. I could never live with a woman whom I must watch and -suspect. Now, I am disposed to believe implicitly every word Sophia -utters." - -"And with good reason," I interrupted him, "for I am convinced that -Sophia seldom, if ever, tells an untruth; and certainly there is -something very candid and fair in her unqualified acknowledgment of -dislike towards you, since she is evidently fond of all the good things -your money can buy, and I think she particularly likes a good dinner." - -"And therefore," Lord Berwick resumed, "as her friend you ought to -advise her to come to me." - -I told his lordship that I really could not overcome my reluctance to -interfere in such matters. - -"I want her to decide," said his persevering lordship, "that I may give -orders about buying the lease of a house for her in town, and furnishing -it." - -In the evening we all went into Lord Berwick's private box at the -theatre, and were very merry, with the exception of his lordship, who -sat down quietly at the very back of the box, where he could neither see -nor hear. Sophia did not once take the slightest notice of him. For my -part, I asked him several times, if he would not exchange places with -Lord Worcester; but he assured me that he disliked seeing a play more -than sitting in the dark. - -"Sophia ought to chat with you then, since she chooses to favour you -with her company." - -"Oh, I do not like to be talked to," said Lord Berwick. - -Every morning of my life I was entertained with his lordship's prosing -about Sophia. - -"I do not think," said he, "that Sophia will ever willingly deceive me." - -END OF VOL. 1 - - - * * * * * - - - -THE MEMOIRS OF HARRIETTE WILSON - -WRITTEN BY HERSELF - -VOLUME TWO - -LONDON - -EVELEIGH NASH - -FAWSIDE HOUSE - -1909 - - -[Illustration: Sophia] - - -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS - -VOLUME TWO - - SOPHIA, SISTER OF HARRIETTE WILSON _Frontispiece_ - GEORGE BRYAN BRUMMELL - *LORD ALVANLEY - *THE MARQUIS OF WORCESTER - -N.B.--The illustrations marked with an asterisk (*) are reproduced, -facsimile, from the famous Deighton portraits - - - - - -CHAPTER XIX - - -On the morning of the day fixed on for our dining at the mess-room, -Lord Worcester received a severe reprimand from Colonel Quintin for -neglecting the drill. - -We sat down at least thirty at table, and I was the only lady in -company. However, as I had my station near Colonel Palmer, and was not -presented to any strangers, I enjoyed the same sort of liberty as I -might have done at any _table-d'hote_. - -I was already acquainted with the present Duc de Guiche and several -other officers. A very fine young man who had joined only a month -previous was present, and, I remember, that nobody said a single -word to him; but I have entirely forgotten his name. I inquired his -history, and was told that he was a man of good fortune but of no -family, as they denominate those who cannot boast recorded ancient -blood in their veins. However, instead of complaining to the Prince, or -calling out the colonel, he put a good face on the thing, and always -came into the mess-room whistling. He was a very fine young man and, -while he carefully avoided any appearance of making up to his proud -brother-officers, was ever ready to prove, by his politeness in handing -them salt, bread, wine or whatever happened to be near him at table, -that he was not sufficiently wounded by their cutting to be sulky with -them, neither was his appetite at all impaired by it. Of this fact -nobody in their senses could entertain the smallest doubt. - -The Duke of Clarence's and poor Mrs. Jordan's eldest son, Captain -FitzClarence, I remember had a forfeit or a fine to pay, for coming to -dinner in dirty boots, or something of that kind. He was indeed voted by -the whole mess a very dirty fellow in his person, and one who evidently -conceived himself so much better than his brother officers, from being -the bastard of the Duke of Clarence. Everybody acknowledges him to be -brave; but I certainly should take him to be about as heartless as any -man need be in order to make his way in the world. He had a trick or two -which used to make the officers sick, and he ate so voraciously that he -well nigh bred a famine in the mess-room. On one occasion poor Captain -Roberts, who happened to come in later than FitzClarence, got nothing -but bubble-and-squeak in the dog-days. - -Colonel Palmer scolded me very much indeed about Worcester's missing -parade of a morning. I assured him that I had done and would do all I -possibly could to make him more attentive. The colonel declared that, if -he again missed the drill, he feared Colonel Quintin would act in a way -to disgust Lord Worcester with the army altogether, and he should regret -much his going out of the regiment. - -As soon as we had left the mess-room, I told Worcester that he really -must be at parade by eight o'clock to-morrow. - -Worcester again promised, and again broke his word, for which he was -immediately put under arrest, and desired not to wear his sword. - -"By G--, if he vas de king's son, I vould put him honder arrest," -exclaimed Quintin. - -This was reported to Lord Worcester, who said it was the most vulgar and -disgusting speech he had ever heard, adding: "What has a king's son or a -duke's son to do with the usual discipline observed towards lieutenants -in the army?" - -When Colonel Palmer came to condole with Worcester, his lordship was a -good deal agitated and confused. I passed my word to the colonel, that, -if he would get Worcester's sword restored to him, I would accompany -him to drill rather than he should miss it. The next morning I actually -accomplished being up, dressed, and on my road to the barracks by -half-past eight o'clock, accompanied by Worcester. - -Will Haught, who was in a terrible bustle on this occasion, asked, -"Where is Miss Wilson to wait during parade, my lord?" - -"In my barrack-room," said the marquis. - -"Why, my lord, there is nothing at all in it but a large trunk, and, you -see, the room has never been put square like, and I should have wished -to have got Miss Wilson a neat comfortable breakfast." - -"Well, do your best," said Worcester, as we drove off. - -I found Lord Worcester's barrack-room in a dismal state. However, though -it was quite impossible for Mr. Will Haught to make all square, yet he -procured absolute necessaries for my breakfasting every morning at the -barracks. It was quite as much as we could possibly do to get dressed in -time for parade; and breakfast at home was wholly out of the question. - -Behold me now, regularly attending parade like a young recruit, dressed -in a blue riding habit and an embroidered jacket or spencer worn over -it, trimmed and finished after the fashion of our uniform, and a little -grey fur stable-cap with a gold band. - -From the window of Worcester's barrack-room I used to amuse myself -reviewing our troops, but not after the fashion of Catharine of Russia. -Sergeant Whitaker, teaching the sword exercise, used to amuse me the -most. It began thus: - -"Tik nuttiss! the wurd dror is oney a carshun. At t'wurd suards, ye -drors um hout, tekin a farm un possitif grip o'th'hilt! sem time, -throwing th'shith smartly backords thus! Dror!" Here the men, forgetful -of the caution which had just been given them, began to draw. "Steady -there! Never a finger or a high to move i'th'hed. Dror suards!" - -This said Sergeant Whitaker was a highly respectable man no doubt, only -rather solemn-looking or so; but that was all the better perhaps, as it -inspired more respect among his motley pupils. - -I fancy it was the sight of Worcester and me together, so Darby and -Joan-like, that first put the good soldier in mind of matrimony. He -certainly did cast many a longing glance after us, as we used to drive -out of the barrack-yard. One morning in particular, he made a full stop -when close to us, and his lips moved as though he had been about to -address us, if Worcester's haughty glance had not frightened away his -speech and made him, on second thoughts, honour us with no more favours -than a mere military salute. - -"There is something on Sergeant Whitaker's mind," said I, and Worcester -laughed heartily at the idea. - -We continued punctual at parade for more than a fortnight. Some of -Worcester's friends generally joined us on our way from the barracks, to -which place I frequently rode on horseback when the weather would permit. - -Young Edward Fitzgerald, who is a cousin of the Duke of Leinster, on one -occasion galloped after us, and addressed Worcester: "What do you think? -there is a d----d old gallipot-fellow has been gossiping about you, and -tells everybody he meets the story of your being put under arrest, and -having your sword taken away from you for making such a fool of yourself -about Harriette." - -Worcester, reddening with indignation, said, "I must take the liberty of -acquainting you, Fitzgerald, that the lady you call Harriette I consider -as my wife; and, when I assure you that you will wound and offend me -if ever you treat her with less respect than you would show to the -Marchioness of Worcester, I am sure you will desist from the familiarity -of calling her by her christian name." - -Fitzgerald good-naturedly assured him he had spoken with his usual -thoughtlessness. - -Worcester now inquired who had been making so free with us. - -"Why that stupid old Doctor Tierney is the man," answered Fitzgerald. - -Worcester said he should call on him to desire he would hold his tongue. - -"And," interrupted Fitzgerald, "confine his attention to his draughts -and pills." - -Worcester asked what sort of a man Tierney was, and if at all like a -gentleman. - -Fitzgerald did not recollect to have seen him. - -I assured them I had known him of old, and that he attended me when I -lived on the Marine Parade. He was a pedantic, disagreeable, affected -fool, who visited his patients in leather breeches and topped boots. He -had formerly made sentimental love to my sister Amy when she came over -from France. She passed herself off on the amorous doctor, _comme une -grande vertu_, on purpose to laugh at him. As to his vulgar wife, she -was ugly and unattractive enough to disgust a man with the whole fair -sex, since such unfair things formed part of it. - -Lord Worcester, on that very day I think, accompanied by the Duc de -Guiche--but I am not certain whether it was His Grace or another officer -of the Tenth--paid his visit of ceremony to Doctor Tierney. I cannot -repeat the conversation which passed, but I know the substance of it was -that Worcester requested that he would not make his actions the subject -of conversation, but mind his own business, supposing he had any to -mind; and, if not, he had better advertise for it, instead of publishing -anecdotes of persons with whom he was not likely to have the slightest -acquaintance. - -The doctor, as Worcester and his friend both assured me, duly apologised -for having indulged himself in using the name of a marquis, in common -with thousands of low-minded people who always love to talk of the -great, and promised to do so no more. - -Some time after this I received a long letter from my sister Fanny, -to acquaint me with the absence of Colonel Palmer from Portsmouth on -particular business, and of her intention of passing a month with me at -Brighton: it being nearly five weeks since she had become the mother of -a lovely little girl, and her physician having recommended the bracing -air of Brighton for the recovery of her strength. - -This was delightful news to me, and put me in high spirits as well as -Julia, who loved Fanny better than ever she had before imagined it -possible to love one of her own sex. Worcester also looked forward to -Fanny's proposed visit with much satisfaction, as he had always, he -assured me, felt the affection of a brother towards her. - -Fanny's arrival was a holiday for us all. Lord Berwick hoped much from -her extreme good-nature and obliging disposition. Sophia, between Julia, -Fanny and myself, was the more certain of not being left _tete-a-tete_ -with her night-mare, Lord Berwick, and Julia, whose very friendship -partook of passion, shed tears of joy when she pressed her friend to her -heart. My affection was calm, for it was fixed, and shall be eternal, if -eternity is to be mine, with memory of the past. - -Fanny declared we should all become good horsewomen before she left -Brighton. She was herself a most beautiful rider. Accordingly, the -morning after her arrival beheld a cavalcade about to start from my -door in Rock-gardens: it consisted of Lords Berwick and Worcester, Mr. -Fitzgerald, two young dragoons, whose names I have forgotten, Julia, -Fanny, Sophia and me. Lord Berwick was too nervous to trust himself on -horseback, except on very great and particular occasions. I found much -amusement in tickling up my mare a little, as I rode it close to his -horse in order to put a little mettle into them both. It was rather -wicked; his lordship declared he was not frightened for himself, but -only for Sophia. - -Lord Worcester took the opportunity to give Sophia a few instructions -about holding her whip and bridle. Suddenly, when we were at least -five miles from Brighton Sophia quietly walked her horse towards home, -leaving us to proceed without her. - -"What can be the matter with Sophia?" we all inquired at once. - -Fitzgerald feared he had said something to offend her. - -Lord Worcester and Fanny galloped after her, to ascertain what was the -matter, and how she expected to find her way home alone. - -"Oh nothing is the matter," said Sophia, very innocently, "nothing -whatever is the matter, only he will go this way," alluding to her horse. - -Lord Worcester's natural politeness was not proof against this, and he -laughed loudly, as he led Sophia's horse towards the rest. - -The whole party dined at my house, and Lord Worcester did the honours of -the table with infinite grace. - -When the ladies withdrew from the room they had a thousand questions to -ask each other. Fanny took upon her to say to Sophia, that she conceived -she was treating Lord Berwick very ill in accepting so much from him, -unless she meant to live with him. - -Sophia began to cry and I to laugh. Julia showed us some very romantic -love-letters from Napier, whom she shortly proposed joining in -Leicestershire. - -Sophia, at Fanny's persuasion, now began to waver. - -"Come," said Fanny, "what does it signify to you, whether your lover is -old or young, handsome or ugly, provided he gives you plenty of fine -things; since you know you are the coldest girl in all England?" - -The gentlemen soon after came upstairs, and before the evening was over -his lordship was led to hope, from what Sophia said, that, if he were to -furnish an elegant house, she might probably be induced to inhabit it -with his lordship sooner or later. - -Some few days after this important business was decided, and Lord -Berwick had written to his agent in town to engage a comfortable -residence in some airy situation, as Lord Worcester and I were returning -home from our ride, we met the brave Sergeant Whitaker, who this time -was not to be brow-beaten from his purpose by Worcester's proud salute. - -"My lord," said he, coming up close to Lord Worcester's horse, and -touching his cap, "my lord, if you please, I wants to be married." - -"What the devil is that to me?" Worcester observed. - -"Well, my lord," continued the sergeant, looking sheepish, "you see, if -you would just mention it to Colonel Quintin?" - -"Very well," said Worcester, "provided it is my business, which is what -I confess I was not aware of." - -"Yes, my lord, it is your business I assure you, or I should not have -gone for to take this here liberty." - -"That is enough," said Worcester, and we rode on. - -The Duc de Guiche and Fitzgerald joined us, and, while we were -conversing together, the young cornet galloped past us: I allude to -the one who had been universally cut ever since he joined, merely, I -believe, because no one knew him, and all were certain that his birth -was rather mechanical. The young man rode a very fine horse and appeared -to manage him with tact and spirit. I think his name was Eversfield, or -something a good deal like it. - -"What a beautiful horse that lad is riding!" said the Duc de Guiche; "I -wish I knew whether he would like to sell it and what he would ask for -it?" - -"I have a great mind to gallop after him, and inquire," observed young -Fitzgerald. - -"Pray do not," said Lord Worcester, "as he will certainly be offended. -It will indeed be much too cool a thing to do to a stranger to whom none -of us have yet spoken." - -"Oh, never mind," said young Fitzgerald, "he is a good-natured fellow I -dare say. I spoke to him yesterday to inquire who made his tilbury:" -and off he galloped after Mr. Eversfield, who, in less than a fortnight -from this time, became on excellent terms with them all: which proves -that, with perfect evenness of temper and good-nature combined, a man of -high independent spirit cannot fail to gain the goodwill of everybody -around him. - -In about a month or six weeks Lord Berwick had fitted up a very nice, -comfortable house for Sophia in Montagu Square, and Sophia, after -obtaining his lordship's promise that she should sleep alone, at least -for the first week or two, accompanied his lordship to London. - -A few days of their departure, Worcester was again addressed by the -amorous sergeant: "My lord, respecting my little private affair. I -should be much obliged to your lordship if you would be so good as for -to take it in hand." - -"Certainly," said Worcester, galloping off, to avoid laughing out loud -in the man's face. - -Meeting Colonel Quintin on our way home Worcester, to get the sergeant's -little affair off his mind, rode up to him, and, after saluting him, he, -in some confusion, mentioned that Sergeant Whitaker wanted to be married -very bad, provided the colonel should not object to it. - -"You moste inquire de caracter of de yong voman," said Quintin, -shrugging up his shoulders. - -"I, sir!" exclaimed Lord Worcester, in evident surprise, which proved -his ignorance of military duties. - -"Yes, my lord," continued Quintin, "I sall troble yow to make de moste -strict inquiry about de yong voman; and partiguler, vor her morals." - -Worcester bowed, and rode towards home. - -It is impossible to do justice to all the delicate attentions I received -from Lord Worcester during nearly three years. They never relaxed; but -continued to the hour of our parting exactly as they had begun. One day, -when I was obliged to have a back double-tooth drawn, he turned as pale -as death, being absolutely sick with fright: and long afterwards he -always wore the tooth round his neck. If for only ten minutes he lost -sight of me, by my walking or riding on a little faster than himself, he -was in such agonies, that, as I returned, I was addressed continually by -private soldiers of the Tenth, who assured me my lord was running after -me all over the country in much alarm; and, when at last he overtook -me, his heart was beating in such evident alarm, as was, even to me who -had been tolerably romantic in my time, almost incredible! He flatly -refused every invitation he received, either to dinner-parties, balls -or routs, and for more than six months he had not once dined away from -me. His uncle, Lord Charles Somerset, who, I believe then commanded the -district, was growing very angry, and threatened to inform his brother -the Duke of Beaufort, as he feared we were really married. It was, as -Lord Charles said, ridiculous, in a man of Worcester's high rank, to -seclude himself quite like a hermit. "At all events," continued the -worthy uncle, "I hope you will not fail to be here on my birthday next -week." Lord Worcester promised to make an effort for the birthday, while -he frankly told Lord Charles that he should be always miserable in any -society without me. - -When Worcester returned home and related the conversation to me, I -begged and entreated him to comply with his uncle's desires, as to his -birthday at least. - -"My dearest Harriette," said Worcester, "having bound myself to you for -my life, for better or worse, and with my eyes open, I feel that we two -make but one in our faults, and I hate to go to any place where you may -not accompany me." - -I assured him that I had no desire to be invited; because I had no -longer health to enjoy society; and, in short, I would not rest till I -had obtained his promise that he would attend his uncle's engagement. - -When the day arrived, Worcester said he could not endure my dining -alone with that stiff Will Haught, who would not know how to serve me -with what I liked, standing behind my chair. - -"Well, then you shall give me my dinner first," I replied. - -For this purpose I dined earlier than usual. As soon as I had finished -my dinner I gave him a gentle hint. - -"You have no time to lose. Your pretty new yellow boots, with the rest -of your magnificent full-dress regimentals, Will Haught has spread -out to great advantage in your dressing-room, _et vous serez tout -rayonnant!_" - -"And why am I to be dressed up there, while the person for whom alone I -exist, or wish to live an hour, is left in solitude? Why am I to be a -slave to Charles Somerset? I will not go, let the consequence be what it -may," said Worcester. - -Worcester's carriage now drove up to the door. - -"My lord, you have not a minute to lose," eagerly spoke Will Haught. - -"Put up the carriage, and bring me some cold beef," answered his -lordship. - -"What will you say to your uncle?" I asked. - -"He be hanged!" was the reply. - -At past ten o'clock Lord Charles sent down a groom on horseback to -inquire for Worcester, and state that the ladies waited for him to take -his part in the quadrilles, which he had studied for that night. - -Worcester ran up into his bedroom, and called out from the window, after -putting on his night-cap, that he was ill, and in bed, and desired he -might not again be disturbed at so late an hour. - -It would be tedious to attempt relating all, or even one twentieth part, -of the tender proofs of love and affection which Worcester was in the -daily, I may say hourly, habit of evincing towards me. His lordship has -often watched my sleep in the cold, for half, nay sometimes, during the -whole of the night, sitting by my bedside. On an occasion when I was -induced to consult a medical man about a trifling indisposition, which -was not in the least alarming, Lord Worcester wrote the doctor a most -romantic letter, enclosing a fifty-pound note, and declaring that his -obligation to him would be eternal if he could contrive to be of the -slightest use to me. He would send fur shoes and fur cloaks after me -in hot dry weather; because one could never be certain that it would -not rain before my return. He took upon him all the care of the house, -ordering dinner, &c., from having once happened to hear me say that I -did not like to know beforehand what I was to eat. - -When the Prince Regent, who then commanded the regiment, came down to -the Pavilion Worcester was in despair; for he saw no possible means to -avoid visiting His Royal Highness. The dinner, which was given expressly -for the officers of the Tenth Hussars, he was obliged to attend. On that -occasion, which was the first of his passing an evening from home, after -giving me my dinner he sighed over me when he took leave, as though it -had been to go to the Antipodes. - -Lord Worcester's rapture on his return knew no bounds. "My dear -Harriette," said his lordship, "the Prince's band at the Pavillion was -so very beautiful, that it would have been impossible for me, who love -music to excess, not to have enjoyed it; therefore, as I abhor the idea -of enjoying anything on earth of which you cannot partake with me, I -went into a corner, where I was not observed, to stop my ears and think -only of you. I must now tell you that the Prince has given me a general -invitation to go to him every evening, and I have settled my plan, to -avoid it. I intend to sham lame, and practise it at home till I can -limp very decently and naturally, and then I will wait upon His Royal -Highness and tell him that I have a sprain which keeps me in constant -pain, and confines me to the house." - -Worcester began to practise on the spot, and being in all things a most -excellent mimic, particularly when he took off Lord Charles Somerset, or -his lordship's brother, whom he always called Cherry-ripe John; why, I -know not, for the man is as pale as a ghost. - -On the following day, Worcester limped famously, although he had nearly -betrayed himself by finding the proper use of his legs from very -_ennui_, when he was, for the third time, addressed by Sergeant Whitaker -on the Steyne "respecting of his private consarn." - -"How am I to inquire the character of your sweetheart, for God's sake?" -Worcester asked the sergeant, with much ill-humour. - -"Why, my lord," answered the man, "you will please to inquire of Dr. -Tierney, as she has been living in his family, as cook, my lord." - -Lord Worcester immediately paid a visit to the doctor, from whom he -learned that the young woman was clean, honest and trustworthy. - -"Sir," said Lord Worcester, as soon as he could find Colonel Quintin, "I -have inquired the character of the young woman, and she is very good, -sir." - -"Good! for what, pray?" asked the colonel, forgetting all about Sergeant -Whitaker's little private consarn. - -"Oh, sir," continued Worcester, almost ready to laugh, yet, in some -confusion, "she is good, sir, I believe, for everything; at least Doctor -Tierney says she is a very steady, clean woman." - -"And vat sal I do vid dis clean voman vat you talk to me about?" asked -the colonel impatiently. - -"Oh, sir, you are not to do anything with her; only you desired me to -inquire the character of the young woman Sergeant Whitaker wishes to -marry." - -"Ah true--reight--vel--veri vel, I have no objecshuns; only tell him he -is von grate fool to his pains." - -Away galloped Worcester quite delighted to get rid of the sergeant's -"little private consarn." - -"My lord, I wants very bad to be married," said Sergeant Whitaker once -more, a few days after Worcester had obtained the colonel's permission. - -"Colonel Quintin has no objection," answered Worcester, and the -sergeant respectfully begged leave to return his lordship ten thousand -thanks. - -"But the colonel says you are a great fool, for your pains," added -Worcester. - -"That is no odds, my lord," replied Whitaker, as he saluted Lord -Worcester, and then hastened back to his fair one, in order to acquaint -her that his little private affair was arranged, and just as it should -be. - - * * * * * - -_On s'ennui de tout!_ In the course of time, I grew tired of this -_tete-a-tete_, particularly as Worcester showed symptoms of sulky -displeasure, whenever any of the officers wanted to join us in our -rides. On two occasions he was furious! Once was when Colonel Palmer -kindly assisted me off my horse; another, when he learned that I had -sent a little note to that gentleman about borrowing a book, or some -such trifle. Finding that this circumstance weighed on his mind, in -spite of all I could say or do, I despatched a second note to this -effect: - - "DEAR COLONEL PALMER,--I believe you have a real friendship - for Worcester, who has taken it into his wise head to make himself - perfectly miserable about the forlorn note I wrote to you. Candour - I conceive to be the best cure for jealousy; so do pray come to us - this evening and show Worcester my two notes. - - "Yours, dear sir, very truly, - "H.W." - - -Down came Colonel Palmer, trotting on a little ugly pony, his laced -jacket covered with an old, short, brown great coat, and a shabby round -hat, while the rain was dripping down his face. - -"My dear fellow," said the colonel, "I would not for worlds spoil your -comfort. I have loved myself, and know what jealousy is. I shall be -wretched, if----" - -And he bustled about to search for my notes, while his nose was so red, -and the worthy man looked altogether so consolingly ugly, so like a -disguised second-rate harlequin, with the silver lace occasionally -glittering, as one caught a glimpse of it under his little, old brown -coat, and then such a thing on his head doing duty for a hat! - -Worcester burst out a-laughing, in the midst of the colonel's most -energetic defence. - -"I beg your pardon, Colonel Palmer, upon my honour, I do; but you really -look so very eager, and so very odd and serious, in that little, tight, -old coat and hat, that for the life of me I cannot help laughing." - -Palmer, however, continued as energetic as ever, till he had received -Worcester's assurance upon his honour and soul that he was quite -satisfied. - -"Then do come and ride with us, Colonel Palmer, to-morrow," said I, -"since Worcester is satisfied that you have no designs against his -happiness; for, really, we have had such a long _tete-a-tete_ we have -not a word more to say to each other." - -Worcester still declared that his confidence in us both had never -been shaken, only he was melancholy to think I grew tired of our -_tete-a-tetes_ while, for his part, he never desired nor conceived any -more perfect happiness than passing every hour in the day alone with me. - -In spite of my gratitude, which he yet believed in, because I proved it -not only in words but by all my actions, yet I did want a little varied -society, that I might not fall into a lethargy; so when Fanny went to -join Colonel Parker in town, I begged hard for, and at last obtained, a -week's permission of absence, from one who could refuse me nothing. - -"You shall go at all events, and I know I can confide in your honour," -said Lord Worcester; "but I will not despair of obtaining leave from the -colonel to accompany you." - -The better to effect his purpose he went to Quintin with a box of cigars -under his arm. Quintin accepted the cigars with perfect good-will; but, -in answer to his lordship's next request, for leave to pass a week in -town, the answer was,-- - -"No! no! my lord, you must drill." - -Worcester had a great mind to have asked him to return the cigars. -Nevertheless, he kept his promise of permitting me to accompany my -sister Fanny to London. - -We found Sophia established in a nice house in Montagu Square, which -Lord Berwick, or rather his upholsterer, had furnished with much taste. - -_Nous lui demandames si elle faisait, encore, lit a part?_ - -_Elle repondit que non._ - -"And what sort of a man is Lord Berwick?" - -"Oh, he is a very violent man indeed." - -Sophia insisted on Fanny remaining her visitor for a week, which -invitation, as Parker had no fixed residence in town, she gladly -accepted. Sophia had at her command a very handsome equipage, in which -we all three drove out on the day after my arrival. - -We called on sister Paragon, whom we found greatly agitated. - -"What is the matter?" we both asked at once. - -"Oh," said Paragon, "do you hear the screams of that infant?" - -"Yes, how shocking! It is not one of yours, however," said I, as I -counted her pretty little family, who, as usual, were all seated close -to her side. - -"They proceed from my landlady's child, whose mother insists I have half -killed it, and that it never was in such pain before. In short, she -declares she apprehends a convulsion fit." - -"Why, what can you have done to the poor child?" Fanny inquired. - -"I merely administered one of Inglish's excellent aperient Scott's pills -to the dear infant," Paragon replied, calmly. - -"That perfectly accounts for all these cries," Fanny observed, and -further declared that she had herself been put in perfect torture by -the only one she had ever swallowed. - -"Do you presume to judge of Inglish's Aperient, who have swallowed but -one?" said Paragon, with dignified contempt; "why, it requires at least -fifty boxes of it to pass downwards before you can properly decide on -the merits of this invaluable medicine! In the meantime, the bowels must -be severely pinched into obedience. Everything depends on the force -of habit. Now there is my little Mary for instance; the dear little -child has become so accustomed to a pain in her bowels that, if by any -accident I put her to bed without a Scotchman, she always awakes in low -spirits." - -"Nevertheless, you must excuse my ever swallowing another to the end of -my natural life," said Fanny. - -Paragon advised her to make her will, assuring her her that she would -answer for the life of no person who had not learned by habit to digest -a Scotchman. "Read what King Charles said of them," continued Paragon; -but Fanny declared that not even King George himself, with the opinions -of all the Spartans and philosophers to boot, should make her believe -that pain was no evil, however people might be accustomed to it. - -From Paragon's we drove to Julia's. She told us that she had made Lord -Berwick pay her down several hundred pounds in ready money, for having -interceded with Sophia and persuaded her to live with him. - -"Well," said I, sighing, "you have a large family, and, I suppose, it is -what we must all come to. However, I conceive myself, as yet, rather too -young to take up this new profession of yours, Julia." - -Julia defended her conduct, by assuring me she had not taken it up but -for my sister's real interest: as a proof of which she declared that she -had strong reason to believe it was Lord Berwick's intention to marry -Sophia. - -Sophia said she would not have him. - -"And why, pray?" we asked. - -"Because" said Sophia, "because--I think it will be very shocking to -swear never to love but one man." - -We all dined in Montagu Square. Lord Berwick appeared to be perfectly -happy, although he scarcely ever opened his lips; but the little he did -say was chiefly on the subject of cuckolds and cuckolding. He wondered -how many men had been cuckolded that season in London without knowing it. - -I assured him I neither knew nor cared. - -"What has become of Lord Deerhurst's valuable jewels?" said I to Sophia, -by way of changing the conversation. - -"Oh, dear me, I entirely forgot my jewels." - -Lord Berwick earnestly entreated to have a sight of them, and was -greatly amused at the charming proof of simplicity his beloved had -evinced, in mistaking such leaden trumpery for valuable trinkets. Sophia -begged to be allowed to return them to Lord Deerhurst with a polite -note, and Lord Berwick having presented her with writing materials she -wrote as follows: - - "Sophia presents her compliments to Viscount Deerhurst. Has - the honour of returning him his valuable jewels with due thanks, - and all the gratitude that he has a right to expect from her. - - "_Montagu Square._" - -The jewels and letter were sealed up, and despatched to the noble -viscount on that very evening. - -After dinner, his lordship's discourse turned on marriage: the pith, -meaning, and spirit of which was to show cause why Sophia ought to -become Lady Berwick. He could never rest till he had made the excellent, -deserving Sophia his lawful wife. - -Sophia again declared she would not have him: but before I left the -house she was graciously pleased to say that she would give the subject -due consideration. - -"This house is so beautifully fitted up, even to the very attics, that -it would be quite a pity to leave it," said Fanny. - -"It cannot be helped," replied Lord Berwick, "we must sell it; for, of -course, Lady Berwick must inhabit my family-house in Grosvenor-square." - - - - -CHAPTER XX - - -The next morning, I received a very long letter from Lord Worcester. - -He abused his uncle, Lord Charles Somerset, for his malice in having -written to His Grace of Beaufort on the subject of our connection, in -a way to alarm him excessively. Worcester, in consequence, received -very severe letters both from his father and mother, insisting on his -immediately leaving me unprovided for and without the smallest ceremony. -These harsh unfeeling letters excited in Worcester a spirit of defiance, -such as mild remonstrance never could have produced. He repeated his -solemn assurances to me that no power on earth, not even my inconstancy, -could destroy his everlasting attachment, or induce him, however it must -destroy his repose, to leave me. He deeply regretted his not being of -age, that he might immediately make me his wife, and then naught could -separate us save death. He reminded me that the period of his becoming -of age was not very far distant, and in the meantime if they pressed him -our marriage was not impossible. He begged his most affectionate regards -to his sisters, Fanny and Sophia, and implored me, unless I would for -ever destroy his happiness on earth to promise to become his wife, and -remain with him for ever, &c. - -I immediately answered Lord Worcester, begging him not to irritate his -parents unnecessarily. I did not touch on the subject of our marriage; -but desired him to rest satisfied with my faith, and that I would never -willingly cause him a moment's pain, while I had reason to believe in -his affection. - -In conclusion, I informed him that he might expect me at Brighton -without fail, in three days from the date of my letter. - - * * * * * - -Amelia was now living very near my house in town, and, as I really -wanted to see the handsome young Campbell, I availed myself of her -invitation to a small party before I left town. I ventured to return -home from her house at about eleven o'clock at night, alone, because -the distance was very trifling; but the moment I had left my sister's -door I observed a tall, dark, and somewhat, as I thought, wild-looking -young man following me. I felt unusually alarmed, and trusting to the -lightness of my heels I began to run as fast as I possibly could. The -man kept up to me, by running also. I had not felt so frightened for -some years, and dared not look back till, absolutely breathless and -ready to sink on the steps, I knocked loudly at my own door. - -The man who was close behind me had never once opened his lips. His -dress was respectable, and his features were rather handsome. He had -an immense quantity of curly, wild, black hair, which fell remarkably -low about his eyes and throat. His countenance was very dark and as -pale as death. It was impossible to observe the expressive singularity -of his eyes without terror: they seemed to look straight forwards at -something beyond what others could see. It struck me that he possessed -supernatural quickness of sight, while, at the same time, he appeared -blind to the objects immediately surrounding him. When I first observed -him he stood beneath a bright lamp, and I shall never forget the -impression his countenance made on me. I had no man-servant in town: my -_femme de chambre_ was the only human being I had left in the house. - -No sooner was the door opened, than I was closely followed by this -horrible man, who closed it after him without having spoken a single -word. I apprehended that he might be a robber, who proposed cutting my -throat on my very first attempt to give alarm or call for assistance. - -I am a notorious coward while looking forward to any danger; but I will -do myself this justice, that, whenever it is, or appears, actually -before me, and past all remedy except such as I have to hope from my own -exertions or presence of mind, I then become armed with such a decided -character of courage as would not disgrace my friend Wellington himself. - -When my dumb tormentor had forced himself into my house and banged-to -the street-door, my nerves became all braced by desperation, and my -ideas were clear and collected. "If I am to die, God forgive all my -faults," said I mentally; "but I will live on if I can:" and I fixed my -eyes for an instant on the man of terror, to try to read his designs. -The odd, quick, black eye, fixed on nothing but air, however, left me -doubtful. One thing only I had decided upon from the very first moment, -that to accomplish an intrigue was not his object in following me. -He did not attempt to pass upstairs without me, but stood waiting my -decision, with his back leaning against my street-door. "He is either -a maniac escaped from confinement, or a robber," thought I, "and, in -either character, I take it for granted he conceals a sharp knife or -dagger about him. If a robber, he will stab me, if I make a noise, -or desire my maid to call for help. Madmen, on the other hand, are -generally cowards to those who act with firm courage. - -"Now to decide," thought I, fixing my eyes on the man once more. "It -must end in a guess after all." This glance took in the man's whole -person as well as his face. The latter appeared to be of wonderful -muscular strength; but his bones were well covered with fat, which -methought did not look much as though he had been leading the vagabond -life of a house-breaker. His clothes were good, and seemed to have been -fairly worn. From his person I once more raised my eyes to his face. The -cunning fearful expression of those wild black orbs decided me--he is a -madman, and about to strangle me: and my only chance is in affecting to -be one of his keepers. - -"Follow me, Sir!" said I, fiercely. - -The man followed slowly and meekly into the drawing-room, where he -stationed himself near the fire-place with an air of indecision, nor -once attempted to approach me. - -"The gentlemen who are here to attend on you will be downstairs in half -a second," said I, seating myself quietly near him, and taking up a -book, as if, God help me, I could distinguish a line of it. - -Then I addressed him in a whisper, "They are coming; you have perhaps -yet time if you wish to escape them; the street-door is unbarred; but -you have not a second to lose; they are going to put on the chain." The -man, without having uttered a single word, darted furiously downstairs -and, when I heard the street door slammed with violence after him, joy, -or I know not what, overcame me, and I fainted. - -This adventure hastened my departure for Brighton, where I arrived a -day sooner than the one on which I had led Lord Worcester to expect -me. Worlds could not have tempted either me, or my _femme de chambre_, -to have passed another night alone in that house. Lord Worcester was -overjoyed beyond description at my unexpected return. He would not enter -into my idea as to the man who had frightened me away from London being -mad. - -"Why then, was he so awfully dumb?" I asked, "and why did he not -approach me?" - -Worcester declared if he could once find him he would make him speak, -and holloa too; but this, from the muscular strength of the stranger, -I much doubted. However there was little probability of his lordship's -discovering who or what the man was; and in a few days the subject was -not spoken of, though for years I remembered it with feelings of horror. - - - - -CHAPTER XXI - - -The next day, as we were riding together over the Downs, I saw a -deserter taken; and was so affected with the poor wretch's look of -distress as to have burst into tears; at which Worcester and Fitzgerald -laughed heartily. - -This however did not prevent my writing a laboured letter, which -had cost me three copies, to try to melt Colonel Quintin's heart in -his favour. I could not help fancying, as the man was led past us -handcuffed, that the expression of his countenance might be interpreted -thus, when he fixed his eyes on my face: - -"Lord Worcester will sit on the court-martial which will decide my fate. -You can do much with him; so have pity on me." - -I saw a tear in the corner of the poor youth's eye. He could not brush -it off with his hands poor fellow, they being pinioned. It was a fine -clear day; and the sun shone brightly on the sorrowful captive's face, -as though in mockery of his distress: and I am to be pampered, and -indulged in every wanton luxury of life, while my miserable fellow -creature, merely for having sought that liberty so dear to all, is to be -bound and lashed till he faints under the cruel torture; and Worcester, -the tender, soft, luxurious Worcester, shall have a voice against him! - -Worcester appeared to indulge me, in what he evidently considered my -excess of weakness, merely because he was passionately in love with me, -though he did not in the least sympathise in my feelings: and yet he had -seen no war to harden his heart against the sufferings of his fellow -creatures! I remembered to have heard told in the regiment, of the -young cornet, whom everybody had cut, having nearly fainted the first -time he saw a man flogged, yet nobody ever accused this youth of want -of spirit or mettle. I had never liked Worcester so little as on that -day. Not being personally acquainted with Colonel Quintin, and knowing -that he was rather unfavourably disposed towards me from an idea that I -prevented Worcester from attending to his military duties, the letters I -addressed to him were anonymous. I of course entertained few hopes from -an anonymous epistle; but it was the best I could do for the deserter, -I never acquainted Lord Worcester with the circumstance of my having -addressed Colonel Quintin on this subject. - -As soon as I had secretly despatched my letter, it was time to go to -the barracks, where I had received a particular invitation from Colonel -Roberts to dine, Palmer being absent. It was on a Sunday, and as we -passed through the hall we saw Will Haught, dressed up in his usual -sabbath-costume, with a yellow handkerchief bound tight round his head, -_a l'ordinaire,_ whenever he read the Bible. - -"Good heavens," said I to Worcester, "what a fright the man makes of -himself! Why I should think God would like him better in his pretty -silver-laced hat." This was very wicked perhaps; but, as the sin of -such a harmless little remark does not strike me, I am not ashamed of -repeating it. - -Cornet Eversfield looked exactly as usual: the only difference I -observed in him was that he had left off whistling, and for a very -simple reason I imagine, that of having discovered amusing companions in -men who had previously thrown him entirely on his own resources, _pour -passer le temps._ - -The next morning, Monday, Worcester was obliged to attend the -court-martial, which sat to try the poor deserter. I absolutely refused -to leave my bed on that morning. - -Lord Worcester informed me that he, the Duc de Guiche, and----but, as -I am not certain, I will not name the third, had sentenced the man to -receive five hundred lashes! - -"And what says Colonel Quintin?" I asked eagerly. - -"I have just seen the colonel," answered Worcester, "and acquainted him -with the sentence." - -"Well," I exclaimed in much anxiety. - -"Why, Colonel Quintin has astonished us all, by declaring that he should -not inflict one quarter of the sentence pronounced by the court-martial -against the young soldier." - -"What reason did he give?" - -"Merely," answered Worcester, "that the man was young in the first -place, and, in the second, that he hated the system of flogging -altogether, believing it to be a punishment most of all calculated to -harden the men." - -"I will forgive Colonel Quintin his dislike of me for that one -sentiment," said I. - -In order to quiet the anxiety of the Duke of Beaufort, I absolutely -insisted on Lord Worcester going occasionally into society; but, when he -did comply with my earnest desire to this effect, he always left me with -the reluctance of a school-boy, on setting off to his dull, dry, daily -school. - -One day, when Worcester dined with Lord Charles Somerset, he said -that several carriages would be passing my door on their way from his -uncle's, so that he should not require any equipage of his own to return -in. It was a rainy, wretched night, and I was greatly surprised when -Worcester, in his full dress regimentals, without a cloak or a great -coat, came home on foot absolutely wet to the skin! - -"Lady Aldborough offered me a seat in her barouche," said Worcester, -"and we were altogether six, just about to drive from the door, when -that widow, Lady Emily ----, I forget her other name, who, everybody -says, is dying for a husband, begged that we would make room for her -too, and she got into the coach without waiting for an answer. 'I must -not crowd you all,' said her ladyship; 'indeed I prefer sitting on Lord -Worcester's knee, to putting the ladies to the least inconvenience.'" - -Worcester's virtue having taken the alarm, he insisted on its being -quite impossible for him to intrude an instant longer, and rather than -submit to such contamination as to consent that a fine woman should -sit on his knee, he preferred submitting his best and gayest uniform -to the pelting storm; for which want of gallantry he was rated by Lady -Aldborough for the next fortnight. - -We continued some time longer at Brighton. The duke appeared somewhat -appeased at learning that Worcester went a little more into Society; -perhaps, from an idea that he was growing tired of me, or, may be, he -had discovered that mild measures had most effect on his son. - -In spite of all I could say or do to prevent it Lord Worcester got -horridly in debt. He was naturally extravagant, and everybody cheated -him. As for myself, I might have been welcome to have brought away, in -his lordship's name at any time, as many diamonds as either Wirgman -or any other jeweller would have given him credit for; and yet, I can -say with truth, that I never accepted a single trinket from him in my -life, except a small chain and a pair of pink topaz ear-rings, the price -of which was altogether under thirty guineas. I even did my best to -prevent his buying these, which were brought to me, as the man said, by -the desire of Lord Worcester, merely to inquire if I liked them. His -lordship being from home, the man said he would call for them when he -returned. - -When I saw Worcester, believing it was not too late to return the -trinkets, and knowing him to be very poor, I told him that I never wore -such things, and should esteem it a favour if he would not buy them. His -lordship assured me that it was now too late to return these; but I -never suffered him to buy any more. - -With regard to our house-expenses, I could have regulated them for, at -least, half the cost; but Worcester absolutely refused to allow me to -trouble my head about them. Once I did venture to remark when he was -about to borrow a thousand or two at enormous interest, that, since the -pious Will Haught always carried out of our house daily provision, not -only for himself, but his wife, and put down, in his pious accounts, -more porter than any man could drink in his sober senses, I did not -exactly perceive the fun or amusement of paying him very high weekly -board-wages; but Worcester having slightly hinted this circumstance to -the holy man, he cried and blubbered till he was almost in hysterics, -and I declared myself quite unable to contend with a footman of such -fine nerves. Still it provoked me to see the man to whom I was bound by -gratitude, for his apparent devotions to me, teased and dunned to death, -when I knew everything might have been all square by proper economy, but -it is really incredible how young, careless noblemen are used between -their tradespeople and their servants. - -When the Duke of Beaufort discovered at what interest Lord Worcester was -borrowing money, he threatened the money-lender with prosecution for -fraud on a minor, if he did not sign a receipt in full for the bare sum -lent; and these terms were accepted. - -All this might be very pretty and very fair; still my own opinion is -that a bargain is a bargain. A man tells Worcester that he may have -a thousand or two on certain terms, or he may apply elsewhere, or go -without it, whichever he pleases. Lord Worcester, who was nearly of -age, and of very mature manners, obtained the sum, to take up a bill, -on which, as he declared to me, his father's credit depended. We cannot -take upon ourselves to say that the lender did not put himself both to -trouble and inconvenience, in order, at a very short notice, to put -the desired amount into Lord Worcester's hands; then, when His Grace of -Beaufort's credit has been preserved by his son's punctuality, His most -honourable Grace takes advantage of the mere accident of his son wanting -a few months to be of age, to make him break his solemn word of honour, -pledged to one who had relied on that honour. Yet the Duke of Beaufort -passes for a very honourable man! - -Now, as we are upon honour, I cannot avoid mentioning the very dead set -which was made upon Lord Worcester about this time by the Honourable -Martin Hawke, to induce him to play. As well might he have endeavoured -to move rocks and mountains and make them dance quadrilles at Almack's! -Which proves to us that, where one passion is strong enough in the -breast of a man or a woman to occupy his whole soul, he becomes dead of -course to every other. - -The opera-season had begun six weeks before, and I had engaged a very -desirable opera-box; but nobody cares for the opera the first six weeks -of the season, and we, who are very fine, generally lend our boxes to -our creditors, or our _femmes de chambre_, till about March or April. We -were however tired to death of Brighton and old Quintin, and Worcester -was waiting and watching for a good opportunity to address Quintin on -the subject of leave of absence, having predetermined to cut the army -altogether in case he was a second time refused. - -"I never meant to make the army my profession," said Worcester to me -one day, "neither did my father desire it; but he conceives that every -young man is the better for having seen a year or two of service. I had -no decided objection to a little active service, as I hope, sooner or -later, to prove, with your permission: for again and again I swear to be -governed by that only, for ever and ever, so help me God! &c. My object, -in teasing and hurrying my father as I did, to purchase a commission, I -frankly tell you was, because, since my figure is better than my face I -hoped the becoming uniform of the Tenth would render me a little, though -a very little, more to your taste!" - -"There!" said Worcester, one morning to me, as we were riding past the -barracks, "look at that young soldier: if you pleaded for him and shed -tears at the idea of his being flogged, jealous and mad as I should have -been, I must have applauded your taste." - -I assured Lord Worcester that his sarcasms could not wound me on a -subject where my heart so entirely and decidedly acquitted me: and I set -about my examination of the man, whose beauty was to wash away all the -sins any of our frail sex might be inclined to commit with him. He wore -the dress of a private of the Tenth Hussars; his age might be three or -four-and-twenty; his height full six feet; and he was just as slight as -it was possible to be without injury to his strength, or the perfect -manliness of his whole appearance. His person appeared to me, at the -first glance, what Lord Worcester afterwards assured me it was generally -allowed to be by the whole regiment--faultless, and moulded in the most -exact symmetry. It reminded one of strength, activity, and lightness, -all at once. His feet and hands were peculiarly small, taper, and -beautiful. In short, persons, at first sight, were generally too much -struck with this young man's person to pay any particular attention to -the beauty of his countenance, taking it, I suppose, for granted, that -nature had not been so peculiarly lavish of her kind favours as to have -awarded such a head to such a body. The man was so much accustomed to -see people stop and look at him, that he merely smiled, not affectedly, -but with an appearance of good-nature, joined to some little degree of -archness. - -Worcester called the man to his side, that I might judge of this -celebrated model who had even attracted the admiration of majesty. -His Royal Highness the commander having taken much notice of him, and -Colonel Quintin being really proud of having such a magnificent-looking -being in his regiment, always made him come forward alone, before the -troops, that he might be the more conspicuous. The soldier, by his deep -blushes, I fancy, rather guessed Lord Worcester's motive in speaking to -him. - -Nature, determined, for once in her life, to show the world what a man -ought to be, had given the soldier the finest, full rich, soft tone of -voice which could well be imagined. He could neither read nor write, -yet, either this man was naturally a gentleman, or his perfect beauty -made one fancy so; for it was impossible to think him vulgar. His -hair, which absolutely grew in full ringlets, was of the very finest -silken quality. It was not quite black, for there was a rich glow of -dark reddish brown on it; then for his eyes--it was almost impossible -to ascertain their exact trait, they were so bright and staglike. I -pronounced them decidedly purple, and was laughed at for my pains; but -there was nothing equivocal about the colour of his teeth--two even rows -of pearls, not too small. His mouth, around which many a dimple played, -was large enough to add to that manliness of expression, for which he -was so celebrated. There was a peculiar character about the upper lip; -one might have imagined that it quivered with the ardour of some warlike -command, just delivered; but then the under lip was so brightly red and -pouting, it ought to have been a woman's. His skin, of the very finest -and most delicate texture, was pale, clear and olive coloured; but he -was always blushing. His moustachios, of which he was not a little -proud, were like the hair of his head. There was much about the face of -this young man, which reminded one of Lord Byron: and yet, beautiful as -he was, like his lordship, supposing him to have been of the same rank -in life, he would never have inspired me with passion. This however, was -very far from being the case, generally speaking. Many stories of his -prowess and of his conquests were in circulation. - -The Duc de Guiche mentioned to us one day at dinner having met the -handsome Hussar, unusually smart and much perfumed, just as he was -stepping into a post-chaise. His dukeship insisted on knowing where he -was going. The man hesitated, and appeared in much confusion; but the -duke was peremptory. - -"My lord,--a lady--" said the soldier, at last, deeply blushing. - -"If that is the case," said De Guiche, "remember to bring back some -positive proof of the lady's approbation; the honour of the regiment is -concerned, mind." - -The man on his return produced a twenty-pound note! - -This Hussar spared no pains to set off his beauty. He had often been -accused of curling his moustachios, but he steadily denied it, and -referred his accusers to the persons most likely to have discovered -the secrets of his toilette. Rouge he certainly did not wear, for he -was always pale, save when he blushed. He was an idle fellow, and -often neglected his business in the stable. Once, the officer of his -troop threatened him with a court-martial; but, when Colonel Quintin -heard of what was in agitation, he lifted up his hands and eyes, as he -said,--"Oh, mine Got! How voud it be in possibility to flock such fine -fellow as dat? and such goot-tempert fellow too!" - - * * * * * - -One morning, about a week after our meeting with the handsome soldier, -I was a good deal affected by witnessing from my window the simple -procession which was passing. - -The atmosphere was dense and heavy, while the rain fell in torrents on -the heads of the mourners, and the wind whistled mournfully among the -trees. - -"There goes a poor soldier to his last home," said my maid, who happened -to be sitting in the room with me. - -"He hears it not, poor fellow!" said I, "nor wind nor weather can -disturb him more!" - -As they passed on slowly by my window, I observed that the funeral was -attended by one of the officers of the Tenth Hussars, to which regiment -the dead soldier had been attached. I looked again. It was the Marquis -of Worcester, and then I recollected his having mentioned something to -me, in the morning, about having a soldier's funeral to attend. His -lordship looked unusually melancholy, and for my part, though I always -considered this a mournful sight, I had never been so affected by a -soldier's funeral until now. - -"It is the dull weather which disorders our nerves," said I, brushing -away a tear. "What is all this to me? Men must die, and worms will eat -them." - -I was going from the window, when my attention was arrested by the sight -of a wild, beautiful, young female, who rushed on towards the coffin. -Her hair was dishevelled, and her eyes so swollen with tears, that one -could but guess at what might, perhaps, be their natural lustre. - -Will Haught at this moment brought in my breakfast. - -"Do you know anything about this funeral, or that poor young female who -has just followed it?" said I to him. - -"It is the beautiful young soldier, who died two days ago of a brain -fever, madam. That girl's name is Mary Keats. She was his sweetheart, -and he loved her better than any of them great ladies as used to make so -much fuss of him." - -This man had stood before me, with all his god-like beauty but a few -days past! Methought I yet saw that mantling blush, and the fine -expressive curve of that quivering lip! - -Feeling the tears again rushing to my eyes, I ran out of the room. - -When I returned to the drawing-room, Lord Worcester was sitting in a -very melancholy attitude, leaning on his hand. - -"What are you thinking about?" I asked. - -"Why, I was considering, suppose it were my next turn to be cut off thus -suddenly in the flower of my youth, that I should not like it!" - -There was something so very comical and natural about what Worcester -said that, melancholy as I was, and little as his speech seems of the -risible kind, it certainly much amused me for an instant. - -His lordship looked at me in surprise, and declared that he was -astonished at my want of feeling. - -I assured him, with truth, that I had been most particularly shocked by -Will Haught's account of the young soldier's death. - -The man, as I learned from Worcester, while in the stable two days after -we had seen him, complained of a pain in his head, and applied for -leave to go immediately to the hospital. From his unusual paleness he -was admitted at once. Worcester visited him on the following evening, -and found him raging under the influence of a brain fever. The muscles -and veins of his finely turned throat were all swollen, every nerve -was agitated, and his heart and pulse were beating so violently, that -the former was visible at a distance. The man, one might have fancied, -was endued with a double portion of life, energy, and animal strength. -His late pale cheek was now flushed with a bright crimson glow, and -the disorder of his fine, dark, auburn ringlets seemed but to increase -that beauty which could not easily be disfigured. As the poor young -maniac struggled and wrestled in the arms of the men, who vainly -endeavoured to confine him by means of a strait waistcoat, he offered -some of the finest models for the statuary's art which could well be -conceived. His beauty, as I have been told by several who witnessed -this poor youth in his last moments, acquired a character of more -sublimity from the disorder of his brain; and all that supernatural, -glowing ardour, that immense bodily strength,--the youthful fire of that -sweet countenance--the eye which flashed such wild indignation on his -tormentors--that frame, like quicksilver, sensitive in every nerve and -fibre--the boiling blood rushing through those veins--all this was to -become a mass of cold senseless clay before the next revolving sun! - - - - -CHAPTER XXII - - -In a few days after this event we were on our road to London, where -I soon learned all the most minute particulars of my sister Sophia's -marriage with Lord Berwick from Fanny, who, with Colonel Parker, -was still in town. Sophia, I am sure, never had it really in her -contemplation to refuse so excellent a match; yet she had for several -weeks delayed the ceremony, merely as I imagine for the honour and glory -of having it said of her afterwards that Lord Berwick had obtained her -fair hand not without difficulty. The thing had struck Fanny in the -same light; and therefore, in view of hastening what certainly was a -desirable event, she one day remarked to Sophia that she had observed a -degree of coolness in his lordship's manner for several days past, and -that she really fancied he was considering how he should get off the -marriage honourably. - -Sophia reddened in evident alarm. - -Fanny affected not to have remarked her sister's anxiety. "It is lucky, -my dear Sophia," she went on, "that you do not wish to be Lady Berwick, -otherwise this change in my lord's sentiments might have caused you the -greatest misery." - -"Oh, no; not at all; not in the least, I assure you," hastily answered -Sophia. - -"My dear," continued Fanny, "why do you take such pains to convince me -of what you know I have never had cause to doubt? On the contrary, since -I have now such good reason to believe that the match has become equally -disagreeable to both parties, I propose, in order to spare your pride -the slightest wound, that you commission me to declare off for you in -the most decidedly unequivocal terms, declaring in your name, that you -will leave him for ever, on the very first moment that he renews the -disagreeable subject." - -"Why no,--I think--you had better--better say nothing about it," said -Sophia, with ill-disguised anxiety and evident confusion. - -"Why, pray?" inquired Fanny, affecting surprise. - -"Why--why--the fact is, it would seem----" - -"What would it seem?" - -"Seem--seem--so very ungrateful." - -"Ingratitude is to be sure a heinous sin," said Fanny shaking her head, -and laughing incredulously. - -The next day, Lord Berwick received Sophia's permission to write to her -father, stating his wish to become his son-in-law, and further begging -my father to be present at the ceremony which, with his permission, -was to take place on the following day, for the purpose of giving his -daughter away, that fair lady being under age. - -My father was a proud Swiss, rather unpopular, and a deep mathematician. -We were never in our youth either allowed to address him or speak in his -presence, except in low whispers, for fear of driving a problem out of -his head. He valued his sons according to the progress they made in that -science. For the girls, he felt all the contempt due to those who voted -plus _x_ minus _y_ a dead bore. - -He was remarkably handsome, with white teeth, expressive eyes, and -eyebrows which used to frighten us half out of our senses. - -Lord Berwick, as well as many more, has often declared himself to -have been much struck with that noble air for which my father was -particularly distinguished. - -The good gentleman was of course flattered on his own account, and -probably thought, with the man in Bluebeard, that,-- - - 'Tis a very fine thing to be father-in-law - To a rich, and magnificent, three-tailed Bashaw. - -But I do not mean to say he did not rejoice in his daughter's welfare -for his daughter's sake too, as that would be to decide harshly of any -father, much less of my own. We will therefore take it for granted, -that, on this day at least _monsieur mon papa se trouvait d'une forte -belle humeur;_ nay, my little sisters have since informed me that, -when one of them, having had the misfortune to upset a box full of -playthings, which made a violent noise in the room where he was, as -usual, puzzling over a problem, just as they expected little short of -broken heads, and were all running into the most remote corners of -the room, until of the opposite wall they seemed a part, he surprised -them to the greatest possible degree, by saying, "_n'importe, petites -imbeciles, viennes m'embrasser!_" - -Sophia was to be married at St. George's church. - -My father had a neighbour, who once insulted him with remarks about the -profligacy of his daughters, and, though the man had made very humble -apologies, and my father had shaken hands with him, yet he never forgot -it. This neighbour was a tradesman in a large way of business, who lived -in a very respectable style of comfort. He had several daughters, the -ugliest perhaps that could possibly come of one father. There was no -such thing as getting these off anyhow, by hook or by crook, by the -straight paths of virtue, or the intricate road of vice. Not that I mean -to say the latter had been attempted; but of this I am certain, if it -had been, it must have been ineffectual. - -On the eve of Sophia's marriage, as soon as my father had received Lord -Berwick's polite invitation, he went to pay his good neighbour a visit. - -"How do you find yourself this evening, my very excellent neighbour?" - -"Purely, purely, thank you." - -"And your amiable daughters? Any of them married yet? Any of them -thinking of it, hey?" - -G---- shook his head. "Husbands, as you well know, are not so easily -procured for girls of no fortune." - -"Indeed, sir, I am not aware of any particular difficulty. You know my -daughter Paragon has long been respectably married to a gentleman of -family; and, as for my daughter Sophia, I shall, please God I live, -witness her wedding to-morrow morning before my dinner." - -"Who is she to marry, pray?" asked G---- with eager curiosity; and -which, my father answered, by putting Lord Berwick's letter into his -hands, to his utmost astonishment; and, before he had at all recovered -from his fit of envy and surprise, my father took his leave, saying that -he had many preparations to make for the approaching marriage. - -Next morning, as my father was stepping into the carriage which was to -convey him to Lord Berwick's house in Grosvenor Square, well-dressed and -in high spirits, he was gratified by the sight of his neighbour, who -happened to pass his door at that very moment. - -This man, naturally envious, and having hitherto looked down with pity -on my father's misfortunes in having such handsome daughters, or, at -least, he affected to do so, although, in his heart perhaps he had not -despised his children the more, supposing it had been the will of heaven -to have bestowed on them countenances less forbiddingly ugly, this man, -I say, could not, under the pressure of existing circumstances, help -giving some vent to his spleen, exclaimed, "Don't hurry! don't break -your neck!" and then passed on, ashamed as well he might be at the -littleness of his envy. - -Just before Sophia's marriage, Lord Berwick spoke to her, to this effect: - -"My beloved Sophia, you are about to become an innocent, virtuous woman, -and therefore you must pass your word to cut your sisters dead for ever -and at once. I allude particularly to Fanny and Harriette." - -"Yes--certainly--very well;" was Sophia's warm-hearted answer. - -"And you will oblige me by neither writing to them nor receiving any -letters from them." - -"Very well; then I will give them up altogether," said Sophia, with much -placidity; and yet we had never been, in the slightest degree, deficient -in sisterly affection towards her; and Lord Berwick expected to inspire -with affection this heartless thing, who, for a mere title, conferred -on her by a stranger she disliked, could at once forget the ties of -nature, and forsake for ever without an effort or a tear her earliest -friends and nearest relations; and not because she was more virtuous -than they were, since, on the contrary, she had begun her career before -other girls even dream of such things. She had intruded herself on a -cobbler at thirteen, thrown herself into the arms of the most disgusting -profligate in England at fourteen, with her eyes open, knowing what he -was; then offered herself for sale at a price to Colonel Berkeley, and, -when her terms were refused with scorn and contempt by the handsome and -young, she throws herself into the arms of age and ugliness for a yearly -stipend, and at length, by good luck, without one atom of virtue, became -a wife. - -This from me may appear to strangers like personal pique, but all who -know me will acquit me of having ever, in my life, coveted the society -of fools. I certainly, being naturally affectionate, should never -have been induced to forsake my own sisters while they were kindly -disposed towards me: and in short, had a man to whom I was to be married -requested anything so unnatural of me, I should have disliked him ever -afterwards for the wish, so far from complying with it. Yet I do feel -irritated against Lady Berwick I confess it: but it is for her slights, -or what I fancy was her neglect of my dear departed mother. As for her -having forgotten me, our indifference being mutual, I am no longer at -all disposed to find fault with it. I should in like manner have ceased -to love my mother, had she but felt it in her power, or had it for an -instant been in her contemplation to forsake me for ever. - -Nothing particular occurred on the day of Sophia's marriage, which -passed off very quietly, and Sophia ate a hearty dinner after it, which -was what usually happened to that interesting young lady every day of -her life at about six o'clock. - -Sophia, having the command of more guineas than ever she had expected to -have had pence, did nothing from morning till night but throw them away. -She would go into a shop and ask for two or three Brussels veils--send -a beggar's family to an expensive tailor to be clothed--build a little -island on a pond--buy a dressing-box of fifteen hundred pounds price, -and all within a week. Lord Berwick was often reminded that this silly -girl would ruin him without comfort or benefit to herself; but his -answer was, that he could not endure to scold the innocent creature, but -must trust to her common sense for shortly finding out that all this -extravagance could not last, even if he possessed four times as large an -estate. - -Sophia, finding that money was poured into her lap just as fast as she -could ask for it, and seeing no end to it, thought that nothing could -be more easy to practise than generosity. She was however nearly four -months in the habit of throwing away money by wholesale before she made -an attempt to be of the least service to her mother, though she knew -well how harassed that dear parent was with her very large family. At -last she amused herself at her country-house by sending her mother -cart-loads of dishes, plates and saucepans, proposing to furnish her a -house. - -Lord Berwick's agent having sold Sophia's house in Montagu Square for -two thousand pounds, and presenting it to her when she really knew not -well what to do with it, Sophia sent it to her mother. I mention this -circumstance merely as a matter of justice to a little, uninteresting -being, whom I rather dislike than otherwise, and will repeat it as often -as I have an opportunity to do so. - -Lord Berwick, in less than twelve months after his marriage, was so -involved, as to be under the necessity of making over the whole of his -property to his creditors, for I do not know how many years. - -Our young sister Charlotte, then about seven years of age, was a sweet, -lovely little creature, and promised to be one of the finest dancers of -the age. She had been some time a pupil of Monsieur Boigera of the Opera -House. - -It was not the profession my mother would have preferred, but Charlotte -promised to do wonders in it, and, with her striking beauty, there -could have been little doubt of her marrying well from the stage; and -a mother, who has fifteen children to provide for, cannot do as she -pleases. - -Charlotte had already made her _debut_ as Cupid, and delighted everybody -who saw her, when Lord and Lady Berwick, seized with a fit of pride -which they nicknamed virtue, begged leave to snatch the child from such -a shocking profession, and they undertook to bring her up and provide -for her under their own eyes. My poor mother joyfully closed with this -apparently kind offer, and immediately made Charlotte forsake the -profession, which, with her talents, must have made her fortune, with or -without marriage, to go and live with Sophia. - -The child, when at her country seat, became a great favourite with the -wife of Lord Berwick's brother, Mrs. Hill, and all went on charmingly, -till Charlotte began to look like a woman, and one of such uncommon -loveliness, as to attract the attention of all the elegant young men -in the neighbourhood. Sophia could not endure this. Even at the Opera, -many a man has preferred offering his arm to Charlotte; nay, it was -said, a country gentleman of very large property was expected to make -Charlotte an honourable proposal. This was too much. Poor Charlotte, -after having forsaken the profession in which she must have succeeded, -to be bred up in luxury among nobility, who looked on her as half an -angel, was bundled off to a country school, there to earn her daily -bread by birching young, vulgar misses, and teaching them their French -and English grammar, and there has poor Charlotte been forced to bloom -unseen, wasting her sweetness on the desert air ever since. - -Patronage is a fine thing! - -I should like to know what Charlotte says about it as she sits darning -her cotton stockings on a Saturday night. - - * * * * * - -My time in London passed on pleasantly enough at this period, as I went -wherever I pleased. The only drawback to my comfort was that the Duke -of Beaufort did nothing but write and torment Lord Worcester to leave -me, while Worcester's love seemed to increase on the receipt of every -scolding letter. He daily swore to make me his wife, and professed to be -wretched, whenever I desired him not to think of marriage. - -Her Grace of Beaufort's letters to her son, which I always had the -honour of perusing, were extremely eloquent on my subject. The -duchess, unlike Lord Frederick Bentinck, was fond of hard words. "This -absurd attachment of yours for this vile profligate woman, does but -prove," wrote this noble personage, "the total subjugation of your -understanding." - -In answer to this nervous paragraph, one of Her Grace's epistles, I -beg leave to correct the word subjugation. Not that there is any harm -in it, on the contrary it is a very learned kind of a full sounding -expression and looks handsome in a letter, but then it is too learned -to be so ignorantly misapplied. Her Grace, in her zeal to be fine, must -have mistaken it for something else, since I can offer an unanswerable -reason why her hopeful son, Worcester, could not have his understanding -subjugated even by the wonderful charms of Harriette Wilson, and that in -four simple words:--He never possessed any. - -Her Grace, in her infinite condescension, then goes on to state that -the said Harriette Wilson is the lowest and most profligate creature -alive. In short, so very bad, that she once sent for her own immaculate -brother!--alluding to my having ordered up that worthy man to Marylebone -Fields, one morning before breakfast. After continuing this most -ladylike style of abuse in detail, enlarging on my former little sins -and peccadillos, she writes, in a postscript: "Of course, Worcester, -your own sense"--she forgot that it was subjugated--"will teach you to -conceal this letter from the person of whom I have spoken so freely." - -"It is very hard upon me!" said I one day to Lord Worcester, after -reading one of Her Grace's flattering letters, "I was well disposed -towards you, and towards your family for your sake. I have constantly -refused to accept expensive presents from you, and I have saved you from -gambling, and various other vices and misfortunes to which you would -otherwise have been, shall I say, in humble imitation of Her Grace, -subjugated? I have refused to become Marchioness of Worcester over and -over again, believing that such a marriage would distress your family, -and, in return, your duchess-mother, with the usual charity of all -ladies who either are or pass for being chaste, insists on my being at -once turned adrift into the streets and entirely unprovided for." - -At last there came another very severe letter from the Duke of Beaufort, -insisting on Lord Worcester immediately joining him at his seat near -Oxford. - -Worcester declared that he would not go, while I insisted that he should -not disobey his father. - -"Do not irritate His Grace," said I; "but, on the contrary, strive to -set his mind at rest, by assuring him that I wish you too well to marry -you. True, the duchess is very abusive, rather vulgarly so perhaps, all -things considered; but I have no wish to deserve harsh language from -your mother, in order that I may think of it with calm indifference." - -Worcester spoke very handsomely on this subject. "I love my father and -mother," said he, "and it would go to my heart to disobey them, if I -saw them inclined to act with justice and humanity towards you. As it -is, I could not resign them for ever without the deepest regret: at the -same time, I solemnly declare to you, upon my honour and soul, if it -were necessary to make a choice, and I must lose for ever either you, to -whom I conceive myself bound quite as sacredly as though we were really -married, or my whole family, I would not hesitate one instant, not even -if they could cut me off with a shilling. I should prefer, ten thousand -times over, driving a mail coach for our daily support, and living with -you in a garret to any magnificence that could be offered me without -you." - -His lordship was miserably agitated, when he found that I seriously -insisted on his leaving me to join his father, and perhaps he had, for -this once, ventured to disobey me, had not his uncle, Lord William -Somerset, at the Duke of Beaufort's request, called on us, and insisted -on not leaving the house till he had seen Worcester safe off in the -Oxford mail. - -I forgot to mention a little circumstance which happened on the day -previous to Lord Worcester's departure for Badminton, which is the -name of his father's country-seat. We were sitting near one of the -windows together, when a man on the opposite side of the way attracted -my notice. Surely methought, I must have seen that man before. He was -standing quite still, and for several minutes I could not for the life -of me catch a second glimpse of his face, which had been turned towards -us for an instant. At last he seemed as though he were making for my -door. - -"That is the man!" I abruptly exclaimed; "that is the madman!" - -I spoke from the sudden impulse of the moment, and regretted no less -instantaneously, but nothing I could say or do had power to detain Lord -Worcester, who immediately darted across the street, and inquired of -the man what his business had been with me, and why he had presumed to -enter my house? - -The man answered, that he had no business with me, and had never dreamed -of entering my house. - -Worcester called him a d----d liar, and throwing his card at him, at the -same time, asked him who he was, and where he came from? - -The man refused to satisfy this inquiry and fixed his eyes on Worcester -with a vacant gaze. - -"You won't tell me your name then?" - -"No," said the man, at last, adding that he did not choose to have his -name handed about in such company. - -Worcester remarked that he rather fancied no one would ever hear -his name as a fighter; but, if he was ashamed of his name, and felt -conscious that his rank was too low in life for him to meet in a duel, -without disgracing himself as a gentleman, he was ready to turn into the -next field with him, and set to work with their fists, in the way most -suitable to a blackguard like him! - -The man declared that he was not a bruiser, and refused to stir. - -Worcester struck him with his stick, when the man put himself into an -attitude of defence; but not at all scientifically. - -The fight lasted full twenty minutes. It took place in a public street -in the broad face of day. - -I did not see the end of the contest, but Worcester, on his return, -informed me that he had been victorious, and then retired to wash the -blood from his hands and nose. - -The Honourable Berkeley Craven, who at all times can smell out a fight -as often as such a thing occurs within ten miles of him, was present, -I presume, at this mighty encounter, since he afterwards mentioned the -circumstance to me, declaring that he knew Worcester's antagonist to -be a young man of good family, who had twice made his escape from a -mad-house. - -Poor fellow! however he appeared to be of such muscular strength, that -I do not think Worcester could have done him any material injury; -notwithstanding his lordship was a pupil of Jackson. - - * * * * * - -Worcester shed tears in abundance at parting with me. His uncle, Lord -William Somerset, placed himself in an easy chair, swearing he would not -stir without his nephew. - -Worcester declared to his uncle, that he was a d--m--n bore, and ought -to be sensible how desirous he naturally must be to pass an hour or two -alone with me, previous to his departure for Badminton. - -Lord William Somerset remained firm as a rock, and took Worcester out of -the house at half-past seven in the evening; which happened to be just -in time to secure his place in the Oxford mail. - - - - -CHAPTER XXIII - - -Now what am I next to amuse my readers with? No, that's vanity. I meant -to ask what I should try to amuse them with? Worcester is gone to his -papa's, at Badminton; and I, being sworn to constancy, have no other -_beaux_ to write about. - -Let us inquire what my sister Fanny is doing? She looked very serious -when I called upon her, as she sat nursing Parker's pretty little -daughter and kissing it. - -"Colonel Parker is going to Spain," said Fanny to me, the moment I -entered her room, and I saw a tear trembling in her bright eye. - -"So must half the fine young men in England," was my reply. - -"Parker is the only man on earth who has ever treated me with true -respect and kindness," continued Fanny, "and my attachment to him is -very strong; more so perhaps than you think for." - -I told her that I could not doubt her love for the father of her infant. - -"I am not romantic," Fanny went on to say, while sitting in a musing -sort of attitude and seeming quite inattentive to my last wise speech. -"It is not in my nature to be in the least romantic or sentimental, yet -when Parker forsakes me I shall die of it!" - -"Fiddlestick," I answered, "you are always talking about dying, merely -because your nerves are weak, and, in the meantime, I never saw you look -better in my life. When does Colonel Parker set off?" - -"To-morrow night," she replied. - -"He will write, of course?" - -"He has promised to do so by every post." - -I had seldom seen Fanny so serious. I begged her to come to me as soon -as Parker had left her, and promised to do everything in my power to -enliven her. - -She told me that Julia wished her of all things to board with her again -as soon as Parker went to Spain, and, continued Fanny, "I feel so -melancholy that I think I shall avail myself of her invitation, provided -she will permit me to furnish a spare, empty room she has in her house, -and keep it entirely to myself. Do you know," continued Fanny, "I, who -used to abhor solitude even for a single morning, am now become very -fond of it? I love to think and to read; and, the more serious the work -the better it suits the present tone of my mind. I have lately been -copying the passages which have most struck me, and, when you look them -over, you will be astonished at my change of sentiments and taste." - -I asked her if her late studies had been religious. - -"No," said Fanny; "but the books I like now are such as I consider -most calculated to teach us fortitude to endure the ills, miseries, -and disappointments of this life. I shall yet, I know, suffer much in -mind, as well as in body; and the end of it all will be death! Do not I -require fortitude?" - -"We shall all die," was my answer; "but the time and the manner of our -deaths is unknown to us. No doubt, too, we all have our portion of -sorrow and trouble to look forward to; but those sorrows are seldom -without some alleviation, or mixture of happiness, neither are the -comforts we are permitted to enjoy on earth by any means confined to -those of youthful age alone. If, in a more advanced period we feel not -wild rapture, yet are we infinitely more calm, and our pleasures are -more real and certain, since they depend on the present. In advanced -life we enjoy, while girls and boys pursue shadows and live on hope." - -"There is no doubt that every age has its portion of enjoyments as -well as cares," rejoined Fanny, "but, for myself, I am not I confess -sanguine. I feel a weight about the region of my heart." - -I interrupted her, and insisted on taking her directly to Julia's, where -I left her, promising to see her early on the following day. - -Worcester sent me about six sheets of foolscap, scribbled all over in -every corner, once a day, and on Sunday he rode nine miles to overtake -the coach with a volume! He had, he said, been accused by the duke his -father of wishing to make me his wife, and he had found it impossible to -deny that such was, in fact, his first hope. His father used very harsh -words, and Worcester's courage and firmness had consequently increased. -Suddenly, the duke had changed this high tone, and taking his son by the -hand addressed him with much apparent feeling. This, as I afterwards -learned from His Grace's brother, was a mere cold-blooded plan, settled -between these two hopeful gentlemen, who had agreed that their best -chance was to touch up the young marquis with a little bit of sentiment. -Nay, in their zeal, they agreed to carry the farce to such lengths as -even to speak of me, their night-mare, the person on earth which they -most abhorred, and whose influence they most dreaded, with an appearance -of feeling and respect, praying inwardly that either an earthquake might -swallow me up, or that I might be seized with sudden death. - -"My dear, dear boy," said Beaufort, "you must forgive me if the extreme -anxiety you have for such a long time occasioned myself and your poor -mother, has, for a season, made me lose my temper. I see that your -feeling for Harriette is real, and beyond your power to overcome at -present. Indeed, if she is good to you, I desire that every care and -attention should be paid her, and you should return to her, and be -teased no more on the subject: only pass your word and honour to me, as -a son, and as a gentleman, that you will never marry her, and you shall -hear no more from either of us on the subject." - -Worcester, in his letter to me, where he described this scene, professed -to have been deeply affected by it, and to have passed the following -night and day in tears, yet he firmly refused to comply with his -father's request. _Et tout fut consternation dans le plus beau et le -plus agreable chateau, qu'on puisse imaginer!_ - -All those letters from Lord Worcester having been since returned to the -Duke of Beaufort, that honourable nobleman with his son may be pleased -to deny that such letters were written. However, after referring my -readers to the celebrated Henry Brougham, M.P., of Lincoln's Inn, and -another highly respectable counsellor of the same place, named Treslove, -who have both read the whole of Lord Worcester's correspondence (why -they did so shall be told hereafter), I will leave them to form their -own conclusion as to the truth or falsehood of what I have written, or -shall write, on the subject of those worthy wiseacres, the Beauforts! - -Worcester concluded this letter by declaring he could not and would not -remain any longer absent from me, and that I was all the consolation -which was left him on earth, since his father was about to turn his back -on him for ever. - -I answered this letter immediately, to this effect. - - "If, my dear Worcester, you do not immediately write, to - give me your honour that you have set your father's mind at rest - by having complied with his late reasonable request, you lose me - now at once and for ever. For I shall go where you will not find - me. What happiness, think you, could we enjoy, at the expense of - making your parents miserable? They have good reason for what they - request, and to save the time it would take you to contradict this - last assertion of mine, I declare to you that I never will be your - wife. - - "_Au reste,_ my dear Worcester, what is there in a ceremony - and what do I care for a title? I swear, so help me God, I have - ever been faithful to you since the first hour in which I placed - myself under your protection, and in all and everything that was - in my power, I have acted, and ever will act in a way to deserve - your esteem as well as that of your family, in order that the abuse - of Her Grace of Beaufort may sit light on my heart and mind. What - gratification think you, could I enjoy at the idea of having merely - inspired you with a strong passion for me, while I felt that, by - my selfish conduct and the advantage I was ready to take of such - an accidental circumstance, I had forfeited all right and title to - your respect or future friendship? - - "I have said enough I am sure, to convince any man worthy the - name, and therefore you will have made friends with your father, - and be on your road to join me very shortly after the receipt of - this letter. So till then God bless you; but remember I can be firm - and keep my word." - -In three days after I had despatched the above letter, Worcester -returned to me, having made the Duke of Beaufort the promise he had -required. We now enjoyed something like quietness during the remainder -of our stay in London. - -Although Worcester appeared to have suffered much during his visit to -his father's, for he was much paler and thinner, I really thought him -consumptive. It was ever his lordship's pride and delight to drive me -about the streets or the park, and to accompany me wherever I went. He -but seldom went into society, and when he did, he always refused to -dance much as he used to like it. In short, his passion for me, which -from the very first seemed so ardent that I knew not it was in human -nature that it could be susceptible of increase, became stronger with -the difficulty of indulging it. - -"My brother is a fool," said Lord William Somerset one day to us. "I -would have cured you both in less than a month, and made Worcester hate -you most cordially." - -"How pray?" I inquired. - -"Why," continued Lord William, "merely by shutting you up in one of my -country houses together, making it my request that you never left each -other an instant, to the end of your lives." - -Worcester called God to witness that he was as sure as of his existence, -that he could never love anything in the shape of a woman but myself: -and, "were Harriette ever to leave me," he continued, "I should become -a mere, cold-blooded, unfeeling profligate; for all the good about me -is practised by her advice and example, or for her sake, that I may be -somewhat more deserving of her." - -Lord William laughed at his romance, and, I remember, took advantage -of his absence to try to make love to me himself! But at this I only -laughed in my turn, and, in spite of that common English mistake, which -he fell into, in supposing that all unmarried females must be either -maids or bad women, he was, take him altogether, I rather think about -the best of the whole set; and I am almost sorry I called him Lord -Berwick's Tiger. But what is an extravagant fellow to do, with high rank -and little or no money? And who was to drive old, stupid Tweed, _c'est -a dire mon tres aimable beau-frere_, up and down, without borrowing a -trifle, or not a trifle, of his ready cash? Some short time after my -sister Sophia's marriage she received from Lord Deerhurst, half a year -of the annuity he had made her. My eldest brother was requested to -call upon his lordship, for the purpose of restoring the amount into -his own hand, which commission my brother executed without, I believe, -exchanging a single syllable with that most disgusting nobleman, who -ever has been a disgrace to the peerage. - -Fanny, in due time, received very kind letters from Colonel Parker, -although they were certainly less warm than some of those he had -formerly addressed to her. Napier's love for Julia seemed to grow with -what it fed on, and this fair lady had been twelve times with child, and -was actually turned forty, or as the French say, _elle avait quarante -ans, bien sommes._ - -Little Kitty, the lady of Colonel Armstrong, went on very modestly and -quietly with her dear Tommy, although he now steadfastly adhered to his -former resolution, not to risk any increase in his family. - -Amy continued very steady, and constant in her love for--variety! - -We were all regular at the Opera House both on Saturdays and Tuesdays, -and, when the performance had concluded, we always remained late in the -rooms, amusing ourselves with the absurdities of George Brummell, Tom -Raikes and various others, some better, none worse! Not that Tom Raikes -ever did anything bad enough, or what is worse, anything good enough -to deserve the honour of a place in these my invaluable _Memoirs;_ -but, since I have named him, be it further known that Tom Raikes is a -merchant who went to Paris and picked up French; and he is something of -a mimic too; and he can take off Brummell very tolerably, as well as -the manners of the _vieille cour-France beaux;_ but I never discovered -that he could do anything else. His tricks, like those of the man at -Calais who entertains travellers while they dine, by imitating singing -birds, cuckoos and castanets, are very well on the first representation; -but it is indeed heavy work to be thrown into the society of Mr. Thomas -Raikes more than twice in one's life. Brummell often dined with him, and -therefore I take it for granted that Tom Raikes lent Brummell money. -If he did, it was even for the _eclat_ of the thing, and to have it to -say that Brummell had dined with him, and that Brummell, his friend -Brummell, was an excellent fellow. Tom Raikes happens to be one of the -meanest men in England, at least so I have heard from several of his -_soi-disant_ male friends. - -[Illustration: George Bryan Brummell] - -However, he was fortunate in having had a father who lived before him; -as that father was no less fortunate in having met with such a friend -as Richard Muilman Trench Chiswell, M.P., to whom the family owes its -not undeserved rise. To this Tommy we may apply the epigram written on -another Tommy: - - What can little Tommy do? - Drive a phaeton and two. - Can little Tommy do no more? - Yes--drive a phaeton and four. - -Sophia looked very splendid in her Opera-box since her marriage, -particularly when she wore all the late Lady Berwick's diamonds and her -own to boot. Lord Deerhurst, I observed, for several successive nights -made it a point to sit in a box by himself next to Sophia, and fix his -eyes on her the whole of the evening. Not that he regretted or cared for -her, but merely because, in his infinite vulgarity and littleness of -soul, he gloried in insulting Lord Berwick's feelings, and conceived it -high fun to ogle at Sophia's box, and then wink at his companions in the -pit: but Lord Berwick was wise for once in his life, for he ever treated -Deerhurst's low impertinence with the profound contempt it merited, nor -condescended once to make a remark on it, even to his wife, although -neither of them could have been blind to what was so very pointed. - - * * * * * - -To revert to the Beaufort story, _mais c'est perdrix, perdrix, toujours -perdrix!_ - -The Beaufort story may be _fort beau;_ and yet my readers may happen to -require a little variety: at all events, if they do not, I do, for there -is nothing on earth I think more abominable than to be hammering always -at the same thing. - - - - -CHAPTER XXIV - - -"Hum!" said Alvanly, at a large dinner-party just as the soup was being -handed round, in unusual but very dignified silence. "Hum! this company -is growing dull--I'll tell you a story, gentlemen and ladies. In the -year fifteen hundred and seventy-two, there was a man, who----" - -Here he was interrupted by the loud laughter of the whole party, for -who could give ear, during the first course, to a story which began as -though it was to last for ever! Now the advantage of writing a long -story, over that of telling it, is that one may, like a sermoniser -in his pulpit, be just as prosy as one pleases, without any fear of -interruption; but, seriously, I will venture to vary this dry Beaufort -story by whipping in a little anecdote, which occurred either before -my acquaintance had commenced with that noble family, or after it had -ceased, I forget which, but that is of no consequence. I professed from -the first to disregard dates. Everything here mentioned or told of -happened within the last half-century, that is quite certain, and more -perhaps than you care to be informed of, especially in this place; but -I seriously declare, or rather repeat what I fancy I have somewhere -declared before, that the careless manner in which these memoirs are -written is all owing to my modesty; or rather the fault lies between my -modesty and my indolence. I do not like to take trouble for nothing, and -I do not feel at all certain, that even the very best I could do, by my -unremitting labour, combined with the most studious attention, would be -thought worth the attention of the public. In short, when I consider -the thing seriously, I am ready to throw down my pen in despair; for -how is it possible, I ask myself, in the name of common sense, that -I should be able to scribble on one subject so as to deserve their -patronage? I should indeed have given the idea up the other day, had I -not recollected a book called _Six Weeks at Long's_. The author made -money by it, as his publisher told me, and really I do think that work -rather more stupid than mine, or, to treat myself with more politeness, -I think mine the more pleasant and more natural of the two. - -Perhaps I should do very little better, were I to go through the -drudgery of copying, and correcting, studying and cogitating and all the -rest of the ings; but however, if my readers only prove to be commonly -civil to me and my maiden-work, they certainly shall hereafter see, but -only in one volume, some of my very best and most studied composition. - - * * * * * - -The little anecdote which I proposed relating, merely to vary the story -of the Beauforts, was about a prude, or rather a lady who went by that -name. For my own part, I am miserably deficient in grammar, and a -thousand more things, and, among many others, I am ignorant of the true, -genuine, and real meaning of the word prude. - -A French coquette will call any woman a cold, passionless prude, who, -being attached to her husband and family, shows symptoms of impatience -or disgust, whenever a chattering fool presumes to pour his regular, -cut-and-dried, stupid flattery into her ear. - -Some call a prude, a woman who steadfastly resists being kissed by a -man for whom she has no regard, at a time when her heart is devoted to -another. - -"Pooh! Nonsense!" says the impatient reader, "A prude is a woman who -sticks up for ridiculous punctilios in such trifles as are of no real -consequence." - -True! But then I never yet happened to meet with this sort of thing. I -have only seen base copies of it, in women without any real modesty, -who affected excessive niceness; but I cannot fancy a woman the worse, -or the greater prude, for showing, naturally, any degree of modesty -which she may really possess. - -The lady I alluded to just now was nearly forty years of age, but she -was still handsome, although she had entirely ceased to think about the -adornment of her person. She was naturally sensible, and misfortunes -had made her serious. The most delicate flattery which could have been -offered from the lips of youth and beauty, would now have been extremely -irksome to one who, having loved a good husband dearly and lost him, had -for ever devoted her mind to other pursuits, as often as she could turn -it from melancholy reflections. - -I remember hearing this very excellent creature abused for being a -nasty, stiff, tiresome prude, because she seriously assured a stupid, -ugly fop, who was teasing her with the most insipid impertinence, that -the style of his conversation was extremely disagreeable to her. - -However, prude or no prude, this good lady was kind enough to receive my -visits at all times with an appearance of real satisfaction. - -We wanted to go to the play, for we were both in love with Elliston; -but we had no party and, what was worse, no private box. I have never -in my life frequented the public boxes, and we scarcely knew our way in -or our way out from that side of the house; yet, when two women take -a thing into their heads, it is not a trifle can induce them to balk -their fancies; so, after we had finished our dinner, my friend the prude -declared that she was quite old enough to act as chaperon to me, and, -going in our morning, quiet costumes, without rouge or ornaments, she -was sure no man would dare to insult us. - -"In short," continued Prude, for so we will call her, since I do not -think it fair to make her real name public, "in short, I never believe -in such stories as women often relate to me about being insulted by -the other sex. For my part, I have ever been in the habit of using -my liberty and going where I please, and alone too, when it suited -my humour, taking it for granted that, if I am decently and modestly -dressed, and conduct myself with perfect propriety, it is impossible -the men can mistake me for anything but what I really am; and if they -did, the frown of indignation which a virtuous woman can put into her -countenance, cannot fail to awe the most determined libertine." - -"_Nous verrons,_" said I, as I placed myself before the glass, to -practise a frown of virtuous indignation, for that night only! But -frowning was not my forte, and I made such ridiculous, ugly faces, -without looking in the least awful, that Mrs. Prude burst into a loud -laugh, requesting me, in God's name, to leave the frowning part of our -evening's entertainment entirely to herself. - -I did not half like going to the play, without the protection of a -gentleman or a private box. "It is all very well for you," I said, "but -I have no character to spare!" - -However, Prude soon overruled my objections and sent for a hackney-coach -to convey us to the theatre. - -We were quite delighted with Elliston in _The Honeymoon_. We could not, -of course, obtain seats in the dress-boxes, in our morning attire, but -we had good seats upstairs; and, though the men did cast many a sly look -at me, yet no one ventured to address us. Even if they had so presumed, -I knew that my friend's awe-inspiring frown would set all to rights, -_parce que c'etait Madame, elle meme, qui me l'avait assure._ - -I was at that time very striking; for I never could pass anywhere -unnoticed. I do not say this by way of paying myself a compliment, but -merely to relate a fact, in which everybody who was then acquainted with -me will bear me out. I always hated to be stared at by the mob, and I -did my best to prevent it by the simplicity of my evening dresses, which -were invariably composed of white gauze or muslin, and my head was -always dressed, after the fashion of the Irish people's potatoes, _au -naturel_, but it would not do. I often wished to be more interesting, -and less remarkable; _mais quoi faire?_ - -"I cannot conceive why these men stare at you in this manner?" said -Prude. - -"Thank you, ma'am, for the compliment," answered I, laughing. - -"I do not mean to say that you are not handsome," continued my very -liberal friend; "on the contrary, I think your countenance remarkably -fine; but still I wonder why the people look so much more at you than at -any other fine handsome woman who may be in the house!" - -"God knows! I do not thank them for their preference," said I, waxing -half angry, as I observed the fixed, intense gaze of a young man, who, -for the last quarter of an hour, had been eagerly watching every turn of -my head. - -He was a very fashionable-looking man; but not at all handsome. I -felt convinced, from that certain _air de famille_, that he must be a -Stanhope, although I had never seen him before. It was neither Lincoln -Stanhope, nor Fitzroy, nor that great, unlicked cub, who was turned out -of his regiment for black-legging, or leaguing with black-legs. These -three I had often met. It must be Leicester, then, thought I, having -heard that Lord Harrington had a son of that name, who was less handsome -than his brothers. - -"It will not do to attempt frowning at that young man," said I to Mrs. -Prude, "as it may have the effect of making him laugh, as it did you -at dinner-time; but I will fix my eyes on him with an expression of -dignity, which is more in their natural character, and try if that will -do." - -The young man was not vulgarly bold nor impudent, and his eyes fell -under my fixed gaze. He was not immediately behind us; but occupied -the second bench to my left. I had no objection to his looking at me -modestly. In fact I rather liked it, being neither more nor less than a -mere woman; but I hate vulgarity or assurance in men. - -I wanted to have another look at Leicester Stanhope, which I at last -contrived to accomplish slyly. He is ugly, methinks, and yet I prefer -him to any of the handsome Stanhopes, for there is something of better -feeling and more expression in his eyes. I dare say this is not, -in fact, the case, and that I merely preferred his ugliness to his -brother's beauty, because he was the only one of the family who ever -seemed to admire me even for an instant. - -No, now I recollect myself, this is a libel on my own attractions; I -remember Lord Petersham, after having for several years been in the -habit of talking to me, and shaking my hand with the same _sang froid_ -one would have expected at fourscore, one Sunday morning, when we -crossed each other's path at Hyde Park corner, paid me the following -most flattering compliment. - -"You are decidedly a very fine creature, but all that I have known for -the last three years, and also that you are the wittiest, cleverest -creature in London." - -Now Lord Petersham knew no more of my wit than that of the man in the -moon, only it was the fashion to call me clever and witty, and whoever -had said otherwise would have himself passed for a fool. - -"But," Petersham went on, "I will be frank with you; for you are too -spoiled just now, and too vain to be angry with truth." - -"So that you will make haste about it," interrupted I, observing that we -were blocking up the road. - -"Well then," said Petersham frankly, "your charms never excited in me -the least particle of desire till this morning." - -"The fact is," answered I, laughing, "it required more wit than all the -wit of all the Stanhopes to find them out." - -"No, no, no," said Petersham, "I always thought you beautiful; but it -was the style of beauty that never warmed me till this morning." - -"Are you sure you have not mistaken me for the sun?" - -"The influence of both at once are, at this moment, almost too much -for me," Petersham answered, "and if you are the sort of spirited, -independent, fine creature I have always heard you were, you will allow -me to accompany you home immediately, as fast as our horses can drive -us." - -"Just the sort of thing I should like best!" said I, "if--" and I paused. - -"If what?" - -"If I happened to have a fancy for you; but, frankly, I have none!" - -"Upon your honour and word, you do not like me?" Petersham asked, with -evident astonishment. - -"No, really," said I, "although you are very handsome; but you are not -my style of man. I am not alluding to your foppery; a young man must -ape something, and a polite fop is infinitely better than the heavy -swaggering dragoon style, which I abhor." - -"What is it you dislike about me, then?" Petersham asked. - -"Lord bless us, how can you ask such stupid questions, Lord Petersham?" -I inquired, somewhat impatiently, and then wished him a good morning. - -To return to the young man we left staring at me from the back seat of -an upper box, and whom I believed could be no other person than the -Honourable Leicester Stanhope--it was only between the acts that I -recollected he was behind me, being tolerably accustomed to this sort of -thing. - -When the play was over we were a little at a loss how to find our way -out; but, after wandering up one passage and down another, we came to -a large room, lighted well up, and, seeing so many people enter it, we -concluded that we had only to follow them. However, we had no sooner -made our appearance in it than we were led to imagine that every man -we met must have suddenly lost the use of his senses. In vain did poor -Prude practise her infallible awe-inspiring frowns! They did but excite -merriment. - -"What, are you the bawd?" said one of them rudely lifting up her bonnet. - -"What do you ask for this pretty, black-eyed girl?" inquired a drunken -man in a dashing light green coat, a red waistcoat, and large tally-ho -pin in his shirt, touching me in the most indecent manner; and, when I -resisted these disgusting liberties with all the strength of my little -hands, they only fell into roars of laughter. - -"Are there no constables here?" asked Prude, in a loud voice. - -"Bravo," exclaimed a flashy-looking youth in top-boots, bearing in his -hand a cane, with which he tapped an old constable who was near the -door, "I say, my boy, that woman insists on having you to go home with -her; but she is perfectly welcome so that she leaves me her daughter"; -and he tried to pull my arm under his. - -"Good heavens! what shall we do?" said I, while the tears of anger -trembled in my eyes as I threw a hasty glance round the room to look for -protection--and saw Leicester Stanhope, for it was really him, following -us at some little distance, and shrinking back that I might not observe -him, evidently half ashamed of the admiration he had evinced towards -a woman who walked the lobby! For it was indeed that most respectable -saloon, in which Prude and I were making an exhibition of our pretty -persons, owing to the merest ignorance. - -All the world seemed to be in this room, which was something like the -round-room at the Opera. How could we help fancying it was the right way -out? In short, we had tried and could find no other. It was immensely -crowded, and, as we moved on slowly, every step we took exposed us to -fresh insult, of the grossest and most disgusting nature, Stanhope -seemed determined to see the end of it all, _a la distance_. - -"How can that young man stand by and see two women so shockingly -insulted, and not come forward to offer his protection?" said Mrs. -Prude, observing Stanhope. - -At this moment we came in close contact with some females whose language -made our blood run cold. I hesitated, while I was almost tempted to -interest Mr. Stanhope to protect us to a carriage: a horrible-looking, -fat, bloated man, in a state of brutal intoxication, being actually -about to thrust his hand into my bosom, Stanhope took a hasty glance at -my countenance, and, observing it crimson up to my very eyes, he did, -as by some ungovernable impulse, _qu'etait plus fort que lui_, hastily -place his person before me, as a protection, nay, almost in defiance of -the fat man. - -"I believe I am addressing a Mr. Stanhope?" said I to him, in much -agitation. - -Leicester bowed with an appearance of great reserve. - -"Being acquainted with several of your brothers," I continued, "I -must take the liberty to entreat you will either protect us to a -hackney-coach, or employ some honest man to do us a kindness you see we -stand so deplorably in need of." - -"Is it possible that you seriously wish to avoid all this impertinence?" -asked Leicester, in evident but gratified surprise. - -Both Mrs. Prude and myself actually fell back a pace or two, as we fixed -our eyes on him in speechless astonishment at his manner of asking this -question. - -"Do not you really know what place this is? Do not you know that you are -in the lobby?" asked Stanhope, whispering in my ear. - -"Oh, dear me! good gracious, Mrs. Prude, we are in the lobby, with all -the very worst women!" said I, and I thought Prude would have fallen -back in a fainting fit. - -Leicester Stanhope politely offered me his arm, and hastened to convey -us out of the house. He afterwards set us down in safety at my own door, -requesting permission to inquire after my health the next morning. - -For some weeks after this Leicester was, or affected to be, in love with -me, and was constantly making up little parties to the minor theatres -for my amusement. One night Amy caught a glimpse of us at some public -place, I forget which. - -"Kitty," said Amy to Mrs. Armstrong, "there is Harriette with a new man. -I must go and call on her without fail to-morrow." I was consequently -honoured with her early visit the next day. - -"How do you do, Harriette?" said kind Amy. "I called to inquire after -your health; because you looked rather pale last night at the ----. -Apropos! who was that elegant-looking man with you?" - -Having answered her first question, she begged to know when I was likely -to see him again. - -"Leicester Stanhope wants me to go to Drury Lane to-night, and has taken -a private box for me." - -"Oh! pray do admit me of your party," said Amy, "for I am so very dull -and ill." - -I understood her perfectly, and was well aware of two things,--first, -that she would try hard to make Leicester fall in love with her, and, -secondly, she would by various little spiteful hints, uttered in a tone -of innocent _naivete_, do her best to inspire him with contempt for me: -but what did I care for Leicester Stanhope, or any one of his stupid -race, beyond the mere pastime these attentions might afford me, _pour le -moment?_ Therefore I invited Amy to join us. - -In less than a fortnight from that evening, Amy and Leicester were to be -found ruralising together at a retired pothouse at Putney, or Clapham, -or some such place, for their honeymoon! - -I forget which of them got tired first; but I know one of them was tired -in less than a week, and Amy returned to town and her dear variety. - -I too must return to my dear Worcester, whose noble father had allowed -him six or eight months more to grow tired of me, during which time -nothing very remarkable occurred, except that Worcester's love and -passion absolutely did increase daily, although that was what I had -imagined to be morally and physically impossible. - -His Grace now became furious again, and so did his gentle duchess. Their -Graces were both in town, and tormented Worcester hourly. The Duchess -often declared, in the presence of a female servant, who afterwards -repeated it to me, that she should prefer seeing her son dead under his -horse's feet, to his ever becoming my husband! His Grace thought that we -had been privately married. - -Worcester was desirous that I should disguise myself, and go with him to -Gretna Green. - -"Have you forgotten the promise you made to your father?" I asked. - -"It was a conditional promise," answered his lordship, "and my father -has broken the conditions. You see that he refuses to let me live on -with you in peace, and again, and again, I must solemnly swear to make -you my wife, whenever I can obtain your consent!" - -Worcester was over head and ears in debt, and on this subject the duke -was eternally lecturing, as in duty bound; declaring for his own part he -had never, when he was Marquis of Worcester, exceeded his allowance or -incurred a single debt. - -I do not mean to dwell on the subject of Worcester's love, and -Worcester's devoted attentions to me, as I can conceive nothing more -uninteresting. His love never varied the least in the world, nor did we -ever quarrel. - -We returned once more to Brighton, and after continuing there for about -two months, Worcester's troop was ordered to be stationed in a small -village near Portsmouth, to guard the prisoners. - -Quintin offered him the choice of changing his troop; but Worcester -said if I did not mind passing a short time at a wretched little -village, he would much rather not leave it. - -I was perfectly willing to accompany him; and, on the day appointed -for our leaving Brighton, four post-horses were put to Worcester's -travelling chariot, which was to carry me to our destination. The -distance was about forty miles, and the troop with the Duc de Guiche, -Worcester, and Lord Arthur Hill, were to rest one night on the road. - -I never once entered the carriage; but rode in a line with the officers -dressed in my regimental cap and habit like a little recruit. We all -lodged together in the same deplorable pot-house. Our bedroom served us -for parlour, kitchen, and hall, and we dined together in the only spare -room there was, in this apology for an inn, furnished exactly in the -usual style of such places; to wit, twelve immense, high-backed, black -leather chairs, too heavy for anybody except Bankhead to move; and the -wainscot adorned with such pictures as a fox-chase, and then the Virgin -Mary; and, cheek-by-jowl with that holy woman, Bellingham, the murderer -of Perceval; next a print of King George the Third, in his parliamentary -robes; a county map; the Holy Apostles, sitting at the Last Supper, and -a poll parrot, done in what is, I believe, usually called cloth-work; -plenty of sand on the floor, and plenty of wine-glasses, tooth-picks, -and cruets on the sideboard. - -It poured of rain every day and all day long, during the first fortnight -of our residence in this earthly paradise; and we further enjoyed the -most exquisite odours which had been accumulating, time out of mind, -from beer and tobacco! The weather also being windy as well as rainy, -the sign-board, on which was depicted a flaming red bear, danced more -merrily than musically at our window. - -Here Worcester, once upon a time, laid his lordly head upon a large -mahogany table, after wiping away the sour beer which fantastically -varied its surface, and with infinite enthusiasm delivered himself to -me in such soft words as, "Oh Harriette, my adored, delicious, lovely, -divine Harriette, what perfect happiness is this, passing thus every -minute of the day and night in your society! God only knows how long I -shall be permitted to enjoy all this felicity; but it is too great I -feel to last. Nobody was ever thus happy long. They will make my going -abroad a point of honour; but even then, my beloved angel-wife will -accompany me! Yet alas! how dreadful it will be to see you exposed to -the dangers and inconveniences of war!" - -I had a real tenderness and sisterly affection for Worcester at that -time. I should otherwise have been the most ungrateful, callous, and -inhuman creature breathing; and I really was about to make a very -tender, warm, and suitable reply; but, at that critical moment, the -woman brought in a large platter of ill-dressed veal cutlets and bacon, -followed by the Duc de Guiche and the fat Lord Arthur Hill. - -After our sumptuous dinner, Lord Arthur proposed our driving over to -Portsmouth to see the play. - -We went accordingly, and having hired a large stage-box, and seated -ourselves in due form, all the sailors in the gallery began hissing and -pelting us with oranges, and made such an astonishing noise that, out of -compassion for ourselves as well as the rest of the audience, we were -obliged to leave the theatre before the first act was over, and we were -followed by a whole gang of tars on our way to the inn. They called us -Mounseers, German moustache rascals, and Frenchmen. - -I know not whether the sailors objected to the dress of dragoons in -general, as being a German costume, or whether it was our French Duc de -Guiche, who had caused all the mischief. However that may be, His Grace -of Beaufort, having got hold of the story from the newspapers probably, -declared, with his usual liberality towards me, that the English tars at -Portsmouth could not endure the idea of my not being legally married -to Worcester; want of chastity being held in utter abhorrence among the -crews of our royal navy, as a sin they have no idea of, and one which is -never by any chance practised by them. - -In short, the duke would not seem to entertain the slightest doubt that -the whole audience, nay, the whole town, had been thrown into confusion -and alarm by the appearance of so wicked a sinner as myself in so chaste -a seaport. - -The world indeed believed me a lawfully wedded wife; and even the duke -himself suspected that I was privately married; but then my certificate -ought to have been forwarded to the governor of Portsmouth before I -presumed to enter the town, and then I should have been permitted to -have witnessed the performance in peace and quietness. - -Not to digress too long, being all four hissed out of Portsmouth with -much _eclat_, we returned to our humble village looking rather wise at -each other, and, for the next two months or thereabouts that we remained -in that part of the world, we confined ourselves to quarters _parce que -les plaisirs du village valaient, pour le moins, ceux, dont on nous -regalaient a la ville._ - -His Grace of Beaufort at last obtained leave for Worcester to join him -at Badminton, and being, as he said, rendered perfectly miserable every -hour that his son continued within the magic circle of my spells, he -wrote to insist on Worcester joining him in a few days. - -Worcester, when he read these commands from his father, looked as if -he had received his death-warrant. He was indeed completely wretched. -For my part, I also felt very melancholy and dull, under the idea that, -somehow or other, His Grace was determined to separate us. I had become -habituated to Worcester's society and Worcester's attentions, and was -beginning to feel a very lively friendship for him. Such friendships -are often more lasting and better than love; and then I knew well that -I should not again meet with half such kindness and devotion from any -other man, for I never in my life yet heard of one, young or old, who -was so eternally _aux petits soins_, and paid a woman the unremitting -attention which I received from Worcester up to the last hour of our -continuing together. - -I cannot however say that I was sorry to exchange this miserable, muddy -village for my comfortable house in town. Not but Lord Arthur Hill had -something comical about his manner, which I thought amusing enough; yet -there was no real fun nor humour in the Duc de Guiche, although he often -laughed in much the same stiff and unnatural style as his shirt collars. -He was not remarkably popular either with soldiers or officers, although -he is undoubtedly a very handsome gentlemanlike Frenchman, and, as I -have always heard, and been inclined to believe, a very brave one too. -He was rather severe with the men and, I fancy, ill-tempered, and he was -a decided fop, as I think I have before mentioned. - -I remember the Duc de Guiche one day desiring Lord Charles Somerset's -eldest son, who was a cornet in the Tenth at Brighton, to change the -saddle on which he was riding, and which happened to be one of his -father's constructing while his lordship commanded the district, and to -substitute the regular regimental saddle. - -The lad refused, declaring that he had been commanded by Lord Charles to -use his own. - -De Guiche was Captain of the troop to which young Somerset belonged, and -it was the duke's turn to attend in the riding-school. - -The duke, much incensed, would have put Somerset under arrest if he had -not immediately changed the saddle. - -The lad was very sulky, and complained in the evening to his papa. - -It was afterwards reported to De Guiche that Lord Charles had made use -of some hasty remark on hearing his boy's account of the saddle, and -which amounted to the same thing as though he had declared De Guiche to -have presumed to take an unwarrantable liberty. I will not say this was -the exact expression, because I was not present; but Worcester assured -me that De Guiche was miserably agitated on the following day, under -the impression that Lord Charles had said even more than this, and in -fact that his lordship had threatened in the presence of his son to put -the duke under arrest. De Guiche, in short, not being able to call his -commanding officer to account, fell sick from very vexation and pride of -heart, and was obliged to keep his room. - -The late Lady Charles Somerset appeared to feel much anxiety at the -aspect of the difference, and requested Worcester to try and conciliate. - -"Do, for God's sake, Worcester, go to De Guiche, and see what is to be -done," said her ladyship to her nephew. - -Worcester did so, and on his return described to me what had passed -between himself and the handsome young Frenchman, whom he had just -visited in his barrack-room. - -De Guiche commenced by descanting on the military laws, and it was -evident he had made them his particular study. It was natural for a -proud, noble young emigrant like De Guiche, to have carefully acquainted -himself with the duties of his profession, in order, by the strictest -observance of them, to escape such reproof as his high spirit could ill -brook. - -Worcester admitted that young Somerset had been decidedly under De -Guiche's command when he presumed to murmur, or rather refused to obey -His Grace. - -"_Mon Dieu!_" said De Guiche, in much agitation, or rather with -suppressed rage, "is it the wish of Lord Charles Somerset that exception -shall be made for his son of regimental duty?" - -"Why no," answered Worcester, "my uncle, I am sure, did not wish that. -Perhaps, though his lordship did not say so to me, yet I think it -possible that, at the moment, he suffered some little hasty expression -to escape him under the idea that, since he, who was an excellent judge -of riding, and a commander here, had advised his son to ride on that -saddle, perhaps Lord Charles expected, from your politeness,--but, I -give you my honour, I have not spoken to my uncle on the affair. My own, -and Lady Charles's friendship for you, alone induce me to interfere: but -this I will venture to assert of my uncle, he has too much respect for -military discipline ever to have desired his son to neglect it, and I am -also sure that, if any remark was made it must have been spoken in haste -and ought not to have been repeated to you." - -"It is, in my opinion, just the contrary of that," said De Guiche, who -spoke very good English for a Frenchman, although with somewhat of the -foreign accent and idiom, "it is in my opinion exactly the contrary of -that. If Lord Charles Somerset has used some expressions which relate to -my government of my troop, or to any part of my conduct as an officer, -he cannot, I should think, he ought not to make objections nor scruple -to repeat again what he has said before, and, _ecoutez moi, permettez_," -observing that Worcester was about to interrupt him, "and, if Lord -Charles Somerset, when he made use of remarks to my prejudice was, as -you suggest, under the influence of passion, his lordship, if it give -him pleasure to be so far condescending, will repeat that circumstance -also, and in the presence of any gentleman he pleases." - -"If you request me, as your friend, I will certainly acquaint Lord -Charles with what you say," answered Worcester. - -"I wish to inquire of his lordship respectfully, if he has objections to -tell me whether or not he has ever threatened to put me under arrest? If -he did, I think he will not mind to repeat it." - -Lady Charles Somerset was very fond of this young foreigner, and almost -considered him as her son. Perhaps she rather expected he might become -her relation one day or other, since he was always romping with her -two bold daughters, who, as Worcester informed me, were to be found -continually in a morning sitting on His Grace's knee, and allowing him -to kiss them, and, as Worcester fancied, to do much more. - -"I like your presuming to talk about Harriette," Worcester would often -say to his ugly cousins, "when you are both ten thousand times bolder -and more impudent, and more like ... than she is, only you are both so -ugly." - -"Ah, that's right, scold them, Worcester," grunted out poor Lady -Charles, who was at that time in a very bad state of health. "Do, for -God's sake, my dear Worcester, keep those girls in order. For shame -child! De Guiche, I will not suffer you to kiss and pull my daughters -about in this way." - -"Poor little thing, she is jealous!" De Guiche used to say, and then, to -make all square, as Will Haught termed it, he would put his arms about -the little fat Lady Charles's neck and kiss her with such vehemence that -the good woman was half smothered. - -But recollect, readers, and remember, my own favourite Lord Charles; -but, apropos my lord, do you know what the king one day said of you -and your spencer, and your trousers, and your--but never mind, inquire -of Worcester, and remember, I say, that all I know about your wife and -daughters is from what your nephew told me, who is, as you know, an -excellent mimic. - -I only wish you were to see him take off your lordship, when you are -dealing for a horse! - -But to De Guiche's story--Lord Charles, as I understand, made His Grace -an apology and now my story's done. - - * * * * * - -One day, when Worcester refused to pass before De Guiche as a matter of -etiquette, while the young Frenchman, who was then called the Count de -Grammont, refused to move forward, in spite of all Worcester could say, -I became quite impatient and tired of waiting. - -"How is this?" said I to De Guiche, when, at last, we were seated at -table. "Why do you hesitate to go first, if your rank is highest, and if -it is not, how happens it that Worcester, who is generally so _au fait_ -on all these subjects, is mistaken?" - -"I am, in fact, and truth, the Duc de Guiche," said His Grace; "but, -since for some serious reasons, I do not take that title in England, -and as I never expect to enjoy it in my own country, I consider it all -nonsense; and, being called count in the regiment, it would look strange -that I should take the precedency of Worcester." - - * * * * * - -Now I am on the subject of Brighton I must relate another little -anecdote, which ought to have been mentioned earlier. Young Berkeley, -as my readers may remember, during the last visit he paid me, which -happened on the very morning of my departure from town to join Lord -Worcester, for the first time declared, upon his life and soul, that, -since he knew himself to be a much handsomer man than his lordship, he -would contrive to be even with me, if I so far presumed to differ in -opinion from his as to prefer the latter. What he said made so little -impression on me that it did not even once occur to my recollection -after I had left London, until I was reminded of it by a report of a -very disgusting nature, which Augustus had taken care to circulate about -town, till it came to Worcester's ears: namely, that the girl whom -Worcester wanted to marry was an old flame of his and his brother's, and -that both had often passed the night in my house. - -Worcester appeared greatly annoyed at this wicked falsehood, and -anxiously inquired of me what grounds there were for it. - -I assured him most solemnly of what I now repeat with the same candour -and anxiety, that I never gave the least encouragement to either of -the young Berkeleys, Henry and Augustus, to pursue me; and that, for a -length of time, they nevertheless both so haunted and both so persecuted -me with what they were pleased to call their love for me, that in the -case of Augustus I was very near applying to a magistrate for permission -to be let alone. - -"But, my dear Worcester," said I, "it will really not be worth while to -give all this nonsense a second thought. You will have rather too much -upon your hands should you resolve to vindicate and defend my virtue -after the manner of Don Quixote; and, provided nothing is said against -me or my conduct since I have known you, I think common sense points -out that you had better leave the rest, to find its own level, _parce -que je ne m'en suis jamais donne pour une grande vertu; mais, tout au -contraire, comme vous savez bien!_" - -Worcester replied that my former faults, deeply as he regretted them, -and sincerely as he prayed that they might now be for ever abandoned, -furnished no excuse for the insult offered to himself, by such -disgusting and improbable untruths as Berkeley stated to have occurred, -at the very moment when his own most devoted attentions had proved -unsuccessful. - -I remarked that they were only joking, and everybody knows Augustus too -well to believe one word he says on these sort of subjects. - -"Write to him then," said Worcester, "and request him, if he has related -this story in joke to contradict it in earnest." - -I wrote accordingly, and Lord Worcester directed and sealed my letter, -which was forwarded, and in due time I received an answer, enclosed to -the Marquis of Worcester. - -"MY DEAR HARRIETTE," began young Berkeley, and then went on, with his -usual, incorrigible duplicity and meanness.-- - - "The less said, you know, about the past, particularly when it - relates to such scenes as you mention, the better, I hope you like - Worcester, &c &c. - - "Yours, dear Harriette, - "Most truly and affectionately." - - -Lord Worcester immediately enclosed both my letter and the envelope -addressed to himself in a blank cover, which he sealed with his arms and -directed to young Berkeley. - -In about a week after this letter was despatched, Henry Wyndham of -the Tenth Hussars, who is the eldest son of Lord Egremont, called on -Worcester, and, not finding him at home, requested to see me, of whom he -made particular inquiries, as to when I expected him, or where he was to -be found. - -I told Wyndham the surest way for anybody to meet with Worcester was to -remain with me: and being well aware of this fact, he sat down to wait -for him. - -I did not like to ask questions of Captain Wyndham, although I -certainly felt anxious to learn what pressing business he could have -with Worcester. His lordship came home in less than half an hour, and -Wyndham, having requested to say a few words to him in private, was -desired to accompany him to his dressing-room. - -When Worcester returned to me he looked unusually pale and agitated. -He informed me that young Berkeley had just arrived from his brother's -country house, to demand an explanation of him on the subject of having -sent back his letter. - -"I must go with Henry Wyndham, who is waiting for me, directly," -continued Worcester. - -I was of course very much frightened at this information; but, alarmed -as I really felt, it certainly struck me that Worcester ought not -to have acquainted me nor any other woman breathing with what had -passed between himself and Captain Wyndham. However, right or wrong, -the information served to agitate me most cruelly! I first implored -Worcester's coachman to follow and not lose sight of his master; and -then I wrote a hasty scrawl to Lord Charles Somerset, entreating him -to prevent mischief, if possible, between his nephew and Berkeley. In -short, I made Worcester's private business as public in a few hours, as -though I had been employed for that purpose as town-crier. - -In consequence of my letter, Lord Charles Somerset sent down a messenger -express, with a note to Worcester, requesting his lordship not to be too -hasty; but to wait till he had been consulted:--"Be assured," continued -his lordship, in this pathetic letter to his brave nephew--"be assured -that I will advise nothing that can be derogatory to your honour!" - -It was all smoke! - -Worcester returned in an hour, and assured me that everything was -amicably settled. - -"How is that?" I asked, "has Berkeley been induced, by fear, to render -me that justice, which he has denied to my earnest entreaty?" - -"No!" said Worcester, a little confused. "He has not contradicted his -former assertion." - -"How could it possibly be settled then?" I inquired, merely for the sake -of information. - -"Why," said Worcester, "Wyndham assured me that the offence which -Berkeley conceived it impossible to brook, was my having enclosed, with -his letter to you, his envelope addressed to me, in which were written a -few civil lines requesting me to forward the enclosed, &c. &c." - -"Well?" I ejaculated in earnest surprise. - -"Well," repeated Worcester, "I was willing to admit that his note to -me, which was civil enough, I never meant to have returned to him, and, -if I had done so, it must have been my mistake: and Wyndham assured me -that, since I was ready to acknowledge so much, he had no doubt that the -business might be arranged, this and this only being the unpardonable -offence." - -To make an end, the affair was brought to a conclusion. - -I make no comments on a subject to which I cannot presume myself to be -competent. The real facts being stated, and I believe Harry Wyndham will -bear me out in them, the world may, and we all know it will, put what -construction it pleases on the conduct of either or both parties. For my -own part, I am not like those ugly women and cross old maids who abuse -the world, or the world's judgment of my actions. Generally speaking, -I have found the world act fairly, justly, and often, very liberally, -towards me. - -It is certainly, perhaps, a misfortune in many respects for a woman to -become the fashion, which was my case; for what second-rate man does not -like to be in the fashion? Nay, there are few, very few, who would not -affect pride in the possession of what their betters have coveted in -vain! - - - - -CHAPTER XXV - - -"I beg you fifty thousand pardons," bawled Lord Petersham to me one -morning from his or some other person's gay barouche, as I stood at my -drawing-room balcony; "but, to save time, will you answer me one single -question from your window? I only want a yes or a no as I am sure I can -take your word." - -My house being half in the country, I begged his lordship to make as -free as he pleased. - -"Did you," asked his lordship, forcing a little, mean-looking man, who -was seated next to him, to stand up upon his two feet while I surveyed -him, "did you ever see this man in your born days?" - -"Never, to my knowledge," was my reply. - -"Then you can declare, at all events, that you never made his -acquaintance?" asked Petersham. - -"Certainly, I can: and your friend will unhesitatingly confirm the truth -of what I assert." - -"_Tout au contraire,_" said Petersham, "he has been amusing us with an -account of a former _petite affaire du coeur_ he had with you." - -"He does me honour," I rejoined, "although he knows I was never so -completely blessed as to have been in his society." - -"That's quite enough," said Petersham, giving me a significant little -wink with his left eye, kissing his hand, and driving off, all at the -same moment. - -I must now return to Lord Worcester, or rather to my house in town, he -having left Portsmouth to join his incensed papa and mamma at Badminton. - -"I have lost my parents," he wrote in one of his letters. "They refuse -to acknowledge me as their son, and yet they attempt to keep me shut up -here by force. This I should have resisted and have returned to you last -week, but that my mother declares herself ill, and my father asserts -that she is not likely ever to recover her late accouchement while her -mind is so dreadfully agitated. For my part I can neither eat nor sleep, -and both my father and uncle admit that they have tormented me till I am -seriously ill. I implore you then, my adored, beloved, darling Harriette -to come to me. I never close my eyes in sleep without awaking in the -greatest fright and agony, having dreamed that you were taken away from -me for ever." - -He then went on to beg and entreat of me, if I had the least pity for -him, to disguise myself as a countrywoman, or a common servant, in a -coloured gown and checked apron, and go in the coach to a certain inn -at Oxford, where he would contrive, unknown to his father, who should -believe him in his bed, to await my arrival at past twelve o'clock at -night, which he said was the hour at which the afternoon-coach got into -Oxford. He then made me at least a thousand humble apologies for having -wanted me to disguise myself and take all this trouble, assuring me -that, if I went to Oxford in my usual style and character, some one or -other would probably meet me on the road, and he could not describe what -would be his parents' indignation and anger, in case my visit to Oxford -came to their knowledge. - - * * * * * - -Were I to give my readers these letters in Worcester's own expressions, -there would be no end to them, since every other word was angel, or -adored wife, or beautiful sweet Harriette, or darling sweetest, sweetest -darling, dearest dear, dear, dearest, &c., so perhaps they will prefer -taking all these sweets at once, that I may proceed quietly with these -most amusing and very interesting _Memoirs._ - - * * * * * - -At about three o'clock on the day after I had received this letter -from Lord Worcester, as my sister Fanny was standing at her window, -pleasing herself with her pretty little daughter Louisa, a hackney-coach -stopped at her door, and out of it sprung a light-footed, spruce damsel, -clad in a neat, coloured gown, thick shoes, blue stockings, blue check -apron, coloured neck-handkerchief, cloth cap and bright cherry-coloured -ribbons. In the next minute this bold young woman had given both Fanny -and her daughter Louisa a hearty kiss! - -"Good gracious, my good woman!" exclaimed Fanny, pushing me gently -aside, and, in the next instant, hearing a loud laugh in the room, for -I had not observed Julia and Sir John Boyd sitting at the other window, -till they joined in our merriment. - -"Lord help the woman," said Julia, "what can have put it into her head -to appear this beautiful weather in such a costume?" - -"It is a new style of travelling dress," said I, "and I am going -to introduce the fashion. What do you think of my cap? It cost -eighteen-pence. And my blue stockings? But I can't stay gossiping with -you fine ladies or I shall lose my place in the stage. However, do just -look at my nice, little, bran-new red cloak." - -"You don't seriously and really mean to say you are going to travel that -figure, and in the broad face of day too?" said Fanny. - -"I must! I must! Worcester says if I don't want to be beaten to a mummy -by papa Beaufort I must go to Oxford in disguise." - -"Disguise, indeed!" said Julia. - -"If Fred Bentinck meets a woman of my loose morals in this dress, _il -croira que c'est la belle Madeleine!_" - -"But where is your bonnet?" asked Sir John Boyd. - -"Oh! I cannot afford to buy a bonnet; that would be only half-and-half, -a mere vulgar, shabby-genteel, cockney kind of a maid-servant!" - -"You will be found out by your tapering waist and large bosom." - -"Why, what is the matter with it, Sir John? Is it not very decently -covered by this smart, coloured handkerchief?" - -"Yes; but it's all too pretty, and your stays are too well made." - -Julia's maid-servant, who had not recognised me as I flew past -her up the stairs, now entered the room, with a message from my -hackney-coachman, who was waiting at the door. - -"The coachman, marm, desires me to tell the young woman that he shall -expect another sixpence if she does not come down directly." - -"Oh laws a mighty! and here I hasn't a got a sixpence in the world more -than what's tied up here in this here bag, on purpose for to pay my fare -to Oxford," said I, holding up a small red bag. - -Julia's maid-servant looked in my face, and seeing everybody ready to -laugh, found it impossible to resist joining them. - -"Why, the Lord defend me! Miss Harriette, is it really you?" she asked, -opening her eyes as wide as possible. - -"You see, Sir John, the delicacy of my shape has not stood the least in -my way with the coachman, who did not discover the air noble under this -costume! But I must be off directly." - -"Good-bye! God bless you; mind you write to me directly, and tell me -everything that happens to you," said Fanny. - -They all gave me a kiss round, for the form of kissing a woman in blue -stockings and a check-apron, and I was soon seated in the stage-coach, -which was being loaded at the door of the _Green Man and Still,_ or as -the Frenchman dated his letter, _Chez l'Homme Vert et Tranquil._ - -"You're not apt to be sick, are you, my dear?" inquired a fat-faced -merry-looking man, with a red handkerchief tied over his chin, who had -already, with a lady whom I fancied might be his wife, taken possession -of the two best seats. - -I assured them that I was a very good traveller. - -"Because, my dear, you see, many people can't ride backwards; and -there's Mrs. Hodson my wife as is one of them." - -"Oh; the young woman is not particler, I dare say," said Mrs. Hodson, -with becoming reserve. - -In short, not altogether liking the words "my dear," as they had been -applied to me by her husband, she thought it monstrous vulgar! - -A lady, in a green habit, who was standing near the coach door, now -vowed and declared her travelling basket should be taken out of the boot -where it had been thrown by mistake, before she would take her seat. - -The coachman in vain assured her it was perfectly safe. - -"Don't tell me about its safety," cried the angry lady, "I know what -your care of parcels is before to-day." - -"Come, come, my good lady," said Mr. Hodson, whom I recognised as a -London shoemaker of some celebrity, "come, come, ma'am, your thingumbobs -will be quite safe. Don t keep three inside passengers waiting, at a -nonplush, for these here trifles!" - -"Trifles!" burst forth the exasperated lady; "are females always to be -imposed upon in this manner?" - -"Monsieur le Clerc!" continued the lady, calling to a tall thin -Frenchman, in a light grey coat, holding under his arm an umbrella, a -book of drawings, an English dictionary and a microscope, "Monsieur le -Clerc, why don't you insist on the coachman's finding my travelling -basket?" - -"Yes, to be sure, certainely," said the Frenchman, looking about for the -coachman. "_Allons, cocher, Madame demande son panier_. Madame ask for -one litel someting out of your boots directly." - -"Did I not desire you to mention, Monsieur le Clerc, when you took my -place, that the basket was to go inside?" demanded the lady. - -"Yes, _oui,_" answered the Frenchman eagerly. "I tell you, Mr. Cocher, -dis morning, six, seven, ninety-five times, madame must have her litel, -vat you call---over her knee." - -"I'm sorry for the mistake, sir; but it would take a couple of hours to -unload that there boot, and I must be off this here instant." - -"Come now, aisey there, aisey," bawled out a queer, poor Irishman, with -a small bundle in his hand, running towards the coach in breathless -haste. "Aisey! aisey! there, sure and I'm a match for you, this time, -anyhow in life," continued he, as he stepped into the coach, and then -took out his handkerchief to wipe the perspiration from his face. He was -so wretchedly clothed that Mrs. Hodson eyed him with looks of dismay, -while drawing her lavender-coloured silk dress close about her person, -that it might not be contaminated. I was, indeed, surprised that this -poor fellow could afford an inside place. - -The lady and her French _beau_, seeing no remedy, ascended the steps of -the carriage in very ill humour, and they were immediately followed by -a man with much comic expression in his countenance. He wore a would-be -dashing, threadbare, green coat, with a velvet collar, and his shirt -collar was so fine, and so embroidered, and so fringed with rags, -that I think he must have purchased it out of the Marquis of Lorne's -cast wardrobe. His little Petersham-hat seemed to have been _remit de -nouveau_, for the third time, at least. - -"Lord! Mr. Shuffle, how do you do? Who would a thort of our meeting you, -in the coach?" inquired Mr. and Mrs. Hodson, addressing him in a breath. - -"Delighted to see you both," said Shuffle, shaking hands with them. - -"And now pray, Mr. Shuffle, if I may be so bold, what might have -brought you up to London? What antics might you be up to, hey? Are you -stage-struck as usual, or struck mad by mere accident?" - -"Thereby hangs a tale," said Shuffle. - -"What! a pig-tail? I suppose you're thinking of the shop." - -"Not I indeed," Shuffle observed; "I've done with wig-making these two -years; for really it is not in the nature of a man of parts to stick to -the same plodding trade all his life as you have done, Hodson." - -Hodson replied that he knew his friend Shuffle had always been reckoned -a bit of a "genus," and, for his part, he always knode a "genus" half a -mile off, by his thread-bare coat, and his shoes worn down at the heels. - -"Aprepo!" said Mrs. Hodson, "by-the-by, Mr. Shuffle, you forgot to -settle for that there pair of boots before you left Cheltenham six -months ago." - -"Very true, my dear lady," answered Shuffle, "all very true: everything -shall be settled. I have two irons in the fire at this time, and very -great prospects, I assure you, only do pray cut the shop just now and -indulge me with a little genteel conversation." - -"A genteel way of doing a man out of a pair of boots," muttered Hodson, -"but I'll tell you what, Mr. Shuffle, you must show me a more lasting -trade, of one with more sole in it, before you succeed in making me -ashamed of being a shoemaker." - -"And pray," continued Hodson, "where's the perpetual motion you were -wriggling after so long? and then your rage for the stage, what's become -of that? Have you made any money by it?" - -"How is it possible," answered Shuffle, "for a man to make money by -talents he is not permitted to exert! - -"'Sir,' said I, to the manager of the Liverpool theatre, 'I have cut -my trade of wig-making dead, and beg to propose myself to you as a -first-rate performer.' 'Have you any recommendations?' inquired the -manager, eyeing me from head to foot. 'Yes sir,' I replied, 'plenty of -recommendations. In the first place, I have an excellent head.'" - -"For a wig! a good block, I reckon," interrupted Hodson. - -"'In the second place,' Shuffle continued, "'I have the strongest lungs -of any man in England.'" - -"That is unfortunately the case of my good woman here," again -interrupted Hodson. - -"'And, as for dyeing, sir,'" still continued Shuffle, "'I have been -practising it for these two years.'" - -"Upon red and grey hair, I presume?" said the incorrigible Hodson. - -"'Sir,' said the Liverpool prig," so Shuffle went on, "'Sir, our company -happens to be at this moment complete.' Fifty managers served me the -same. At last however I got a hearing, and, as I suspected would be -the case, was immediately engaged. The play-bills mentioned the part -of Romeo by a gentleman, his first appearance on the stage; but it was -a low company and beggarly audience, which accounts for my having been -pelted with oranges and hissed off the stage!" - -Hodson here burst into a very loud fit of laughter, declaring this was -the best joke he ever heard in his life. - -Shuffle, without at all joining in his friend's mirth, declared that he -had now resigned all thoughts of a profession, the success of which must -often depend on a set of ignorant blockheads, and turned his thoughts to -love and experimental philosophy. - -"I say?" was Hodson's wise remark, looking very significantly at his -friend. - -"Well sir; what have you to say?" Shuffle inquired. - -"Blow me, Shuffle, if you ar'n't a little--" Hodson paused and touched -his forehead. - -"Don't meddle with the head, friend, that's not your trade. Oh, by the -bye," Shuffle continued, "talking of heels, I want to consult you about -a new sort of elastic sole and heel, after my own invention: one that -shall enable a man to swim along the river like a goose, at the rate of -fifteen miles an hour! I have just discovered that the goose owes its -swiftness to the shape of its feet. Now, my water-shoe must be made to -spread itself open, when the foot is extended, and close as it advances." - -"Well done, gentleman," interposed the poor Irish traveller, "this bates -the cork jacket anyhow in life!" - -"Who the devil are you, sir?" asked Shuffle, "and what business have you -to crack jokes?" - -"The only little objection that I see to your contrivance," continued -Pat, "is that the patent shoe will be just after turning into a clog as -soon as it gits under water, good luck to it." - -"The devil take me if that warn't a capital joke! So well done, master -Pat," said Hodson. - -"Is that an Irish wig you have got on your head, Pat?" Shuffle asked, by -way of being even with him. - -"For God's sake sink the shop, Shuffle, and let's have a little genteel -conversation," said Hodson, imitating Shuffle's late affectation of -voice and manner. - -"Pray what do you Irish know about wig-making?" asked Shuffle, -disregarding Hodson. - -"And may be you would not approve nather, of their nate, compact little -fashion of breaking a head, perhaps?" inquired Pat very quietly. - -"Come, come, my comical fellow," said Hodson, "don't be so hot. Mr. -Shuffle only meant to remark that it was a pity to wear a red wig over -your fine head of hair." - -"Arrah, by my sowl! and is it under it you'd have me wear it?" asked the -Irishman. - -"You're a funny chap! but I loves to see a man in good spirits," Hodson -remarked. - -"Is it in good spirits then, you reckon me? Sure and you're out there -anyhow in life; for the devil a drop of spirits have I poured into me, -good, bad or indifferent since yesterday, worse luck to me!" - -"What, are you out of employment then?" Mrs. Hodson inquired. - -"No my dear lady, in regard to my being employed just now, looking out -for work." - -Shuffle inquired how long he had left Ireland. - -"Not more than a month, your honour; and four weeks out of that time -have I been wandering about the great, gawky village of London, up one -strate and down the tother, in search of a friend, and sorrow bit of the -smallest intelligence can I gain, anyhow in the world, of poor Kitty -O'Mara." - -"And is that absolutely necessary?" I asked. - -"And did I not promise Mistress Kitty, the mother of him, that I would -stick by her darling till the breath was clane out of his body? and -then, after our death, wasn't it by mutual agreement between Kitty and -me, that we should dig each other a nate, tight bit of a grave, and -bury each other, in a jontale, friendly manner? so that, what with -disappointment, fatigue, and the uncommon insults which have been put -upon me lately, sure and I'm completely bothered!" - -"And pray, Pat, what takes you over to Oxford?" Hodson asked. - -"Sure and I'm just going there, to come back again by the marrow-bone -stage." - -"But what reason have you for making the journey?" said Shuffle. - -"Is it what rasin had I? Havn't I paid for my place more than a week -ago, and havn't I lost a good sarvice in them parts, by missing the -coach by a trifle of half an hour's oversleeping myself? and did not the -proprietor of this same coach promise me the first vacant sate?" - -"Well, but having lost your place, why trouble yourself to go down when -it is too late?" Hodson inquired. - -"And you'd have me chated and diddled out on the fare as well as the -service? Bad luck to me!" added Pat, with comic gravity. - -"Blow me, if you ain't a funny one," said Hodson, as the coach stopped -to set him down in a small village between London and Oxford; "and -since you've put me into spirits, I must put spirits into you, so -here's a shilling for you, Pat. In for a penny, as I says, in for a -pound. Good bye, Shuffle, and I shall thank you to call and settle for -that there pair of boots. Come, my good woman, give us your hand. Good -bye, my pretty lass," nodding to me, as he and his better half quitted -the coach. - -Nothing of very great interest occurred during the remainder of our -journey, except that Shuffle seemed disposed to hire Pat as his servant. -The Frenchman found fault with everything at table, drank _eau sucree,_ -and studied in his dictionary. The lady in the green habit scorned to -address even a single syllable to a person in the humble garb I wore, -and I never once opened my lips till we arrived at Oxford, and I was set -down at a little inn nearly a mile distant from the one where Worcester -promised to wait for me. It was almost one o'clock in the morning, it -poured with rain, and there was not a star to enliven a poor traveller! - -Though the discovery was too late, it was now very evident that I had -taken my place in the wrong coach. What was to be done? I inquired the -distance of the inn at which Worcester promised to expect me; but for -more than a quarter of an hour everybody seemed too busy looking after -the luggage and the passengers to attend to a poor girl in a coarse red -cloak. At last I contrived to speak to the landlady, who assured me that -I must be mad to think of wandering about the streets of Oxford at such -an hour and in such weather; that the passengers always used her house, -and that in the course of an hour the other passengers would be served, -and then the chamber-maid would see about providing me with a bed. - -"Impossible," said I, "for I have a person waiting for me at the -Crown Inn, and I shall feel much obliged to you, madam, if you will -immediately furnish me with a guide to protect me." - -"Protect a fiddlestick!" said my landlady. "I've got no time to procure -guides at this time of night, indeed;" and she waddled off after the -rest of the passengers. - -I was left alone in the passage, to watch my travelling-bag, shivering -with cold, and wishing the vile red cloak and blue stockings at the -bottom of the Red Sea, since it was to them I was indebted that -everybody held me in such contempt. As a last resource, I addressed -myself to a man in a dirty smock-frock, whom I imagined to be the -hostler. - -"My good man, where can I procure a safe guide and protector, to walk -with me to the Crown Inn?" - -"You'd better wait here till to-morrow morning, my dear," answered the -man; "for you see it's quite at t'other end of the town, and a man don't -care to get wet for nothing." - -"But I will give you half a crown, and thank you too, if you will only -come with me directly, and bring a lanthorn with you." - -"Indeed!" exclaimed the man incredulously. "Pray how comed you to be so -rich, hey? Suppose you show us your half-crown?" - -"Willingly," said I, taking one out of my little bag, at the sight of -which he begged me to wait outside the door, till he joined me from the -stable with his lanthorn. - -"But you must step out foot, my dear, as I may get home before mistress -misses me, you see." - -As we hurried on together, while the rain fell in torrents on our heads, -I felt half afraid of my strange guide; and asked him every two minutes -if he was quite sure he had not mistaken the road. - -"No, child," said he, at last, "for here we be safe and sound. This be -the Crown Inn." - -I was not long in doubt as to the truth of what he said; for, at the -door, stood Worcester as large as life, looking eagerly down the road -after the carriages. I put my half-crown into my guide's hand, and -hastily placed my arm under that of Worcester, who, so little dreamed -of seeing me arrive on foot in such a wet miserable condition, that he -pushed me rather roughly on one side. - -"My dear Mr. Dobbins," said I, for that was the name we were to go by at -the Crown, where he believed he was not personally known; "Mr. Dobbins! -don't you recognise your dear Mrs. Dobbins?" - -"Good God, my love! how came you alone this miserable night?" and -Worcester handed me upstairs, all joy and rapture and trembling anxiety -lest I should catch cold. In less than a quarter of an hour, thanks to -his good care, I was in a warm bed and an excellent supper was served by -the side of it, with good claret, fruit, coffee, and everything we could -possibly require. - -We talked all night long; for we had much to say to each other. - -Worcester declared that he looked forward to no hope nor rest until we -should be really married. - -I entreated him to consider all the inconveniences of such a match. -"Your father never will forgive you remember!" - -"That I shall deeply regret," answered his lordship; "but I must and -will choose my own partner for life. You and I have passed weeks, -months, years together, without having had a single quarrel. This is -proof positive, at least, that our tempers harmonise perfectly together, -and I conceive that harmony of temper between man and wife, is the first -and greatest blessing of the wedded state." - -I was too frank to deny that I perfectly agreed with him in this -particular. - -"I was never happy till I knew you," continued Worcester, "and I am -sure, as I am of my existence, that you are the only woman on earth to -whom I could ever be constant to the end of my life and not break my -oath. When all is over, my father must submit to necessity." - -"It may not be," said I, mildly. "Nay, it shall not be. Your parents, -harsh as they are towards me and my faults, shall not have cause to -curse me, neither shall you." - -Worcester was greatly agitated; and, when all else failed, tried to -laugh me out of my resolution. "We will go to Scotland together, in the -mail," said his lordship. - -"And who shall be the father to give me away, and be a witness to prove -my marriage?" I asked, merely to make a joke of a subject I was tired of -treating seriously. - -"You shall wear this pretty dress," said Worcester, "and my coachman, -Boniface, shall come down to the North with us to give you away. I dare -not trust Will Haught; he shall know nothing of our departure, till he -has missed us." - -"Boniface, of course, must be gaily dressed," said I, "and wear a large -nosegay." - -"True," proceeded Worcester, "and a white waistcoat." - -"Shall the waistcoat be made with pockets and flaps, pray?" - -"Why, perhaps, that might look handsomer." - -"Very well," said I, "perhaps pockets and flaps, perhaps not. Let that -matter rest for the moment, and now, with regard to this long journey to -Gretna Green to look for a dirty blacksmith, I think that really will be -unnecessary." - -"How can it be avoided till I am of age?" Worcester eagerly inquired. - -"Why, I have spoken to that most reverend, pious, and learned divine, -Lord Frederick Beauclerc, on this important subject, and he declares -himself willing to officiate on this occasion, and marry us privately by -special licence, providing you agree to grant _les droits du seigneur._" - -Worcester inquired what that meant. - -"Simply, _les droits du mari_, for the first night." - -Worcester, having by this time discovered that I was only laughing at -him, appeared deeply wounded and offended with me. - -"My love, what is to be done?" I asked. "I, as your friend, your real -friend, wish you to be comfortably reconciled to your parents, and, -by making me your wife you lose them for ever, without doing me any -material good; for I have no ambition nor hankering after rank, and, I -confess, my conscience does not reproach me with any particular crime, -attached to my present, quiet mode of life, since I have no children; -else I should for their sake judge differently. Let us hope the best, -enjoy the present, and be merry, pray, or I might as well have remained -in town." - -By degrees Worcester recovered his spirits, and, perhaps, there never -was an hour during our whole acquaintance in which he was so devoted -to me, so madly, passionately fond of me, as during my visit to the -Crown Inn, which proves how the passion of love is ever increased by -difficulties, till it, at last, acquires such a degree of enthusiastic -ardour, as persons in the full, easy possession of what they desire can -form not the least conception of. - -Alas! how fleeting are our moments of happiness! Poor Worcester was -obliged to leave me by nine in the morning, after handing me into a -hack-chaise; because he could not bear the idea of my being again -addressed by any low man who might happen to be fellow traveller, when -my dress would induce them to mistake me for a servant. - -Just as I had got about a mile from Oxford, one of Worcester's uncles -passed my chaise: if I recollect right it was Lord Edward. He stared at -me in my old costume as though I had been the ninth wonder of the world. -However, I hoped, since I had never in my life spoken to his lordship -and merely guessed him to be a Somerset, that he would have remained at -least in some little doubt as to my identity. - -The next morning's post convinced me of my mistake. Worcester, in a -very long, dismal letter, acquainted me that I had been seen, in a very -odd, unladylike kind of dress close to Oxford. Worcester assured his -father that it was quite impossible, as I certainly should not have gone -to Oxford without acquainting him of the circumstance. The duke and -duchess condescended to laugh at him as a weak silly dupe to a vile and -profligate woman, asked him what good he fancied I could be doing by -travelling about in disguise; and why, if it had been good, I looked so -confused, and appeared so anxious to hide my face from his uncle, as to -have actually covered it with both my hands? His uncle further declared -that I was both deformed and ugly, which rendered his infatuation the -more absurd. - -Worcester, in reply, declared his aunt so very ugly that the man who had -chosen her for his wife must for ever give up all pretensions to taste; -and then he asked them why they imagined two of the handsomest men of -this, and perhaps of any age, Lord Ponsonby and the Duke of Argyll--my -readers must excuse my placing Lord Ponsonby first--should have been so -much in love with deformity? And, if they were, it was of course a proof -that my mind must have been of that superior cast as made ample amends -for the defects of my person. - -There were two young men at that time on a visit with Her Grace of -Beaufort, who is known to have always encouraged a very motherly -kindness of feeling towards young men, particularly when they were -well looking. Perhaps she wanted them for her daughters; and yet, that -beauty soon fades is the cry of most moral mammas. However that may -be (and I have not in the least presumed to entertain a doubt of Her -Grace's virtue, according to the English acceptation of that word), -the two young men I have just now mentioned, and who so vehemently -joined the hue and cry against me, were Montagu, the eldest son of a -lady in Portman Square, who used to give charitable dinners to the -poor chimney-sweepers once a year, and Mr. Meyler, a young Hampshire -gentleman, in the possession of very large West India property, of at -least five and twenty thousand a year. - -This youth had lately become of age, and, as everybody informed me, was -very handsome. Worcester assured me that this young sugar-baker, as -Lord Alvanly was pleased to call him, expressed himself in such strong -terms of disgust in reference to me, that his lordship had been obliged -to desire him never to use my name in his presence again. - -Meyler however _dedommaged_ himself with his favourite the Duchess -of Beaufort, to whom Worcester had presented him when they were both -at Christchurch together. He always agreed with that lady, as to the -subjugation of her noble son's superior parts; for, said Meyler, "it -would be impossible for any man, in his right senses, to be in love with -that woman called Harriette Wilson; she may have been better once; but -she is now in ill health, spoiled by flattery, and altogether the most -disgusting style of woman I know." - -"Are you acquainted with her, then?" asked the duchess. - -Meyler confessed he had never spoken to me; but added that he saw me -every night in my Opera box, and in the round-room afterwards; and, -in short, from having often conversed with my acquaintances, he knew -just as much about me as if he had been so unfortunate as to have been -personally acquainted with me. - -This inveterate abuse from a stranger, whom I did not even know by -sight, somewhat excited my curiosity, nay more, my emulation perhaps; -_car j'avais quelquefois le diable au corps, comme aucune autre._ - -"If," said I one day to Fanny, "if all this abuse of me could be -reconciled to good taste in a gentleman, and this Meyler is really -so handsome, it would be worth while changing his dislike into love, -_seulement, pour lui apprendre a vivre_. At all events there is novelty -in being an object of disgust to any man, just when Worcester has so -cloyed me with sweets! Where can one get a sight of Meyler?" - -"Sir John Boyd is a relation or particular friend of his," said Fanny; -and, on the first opportunity Sir John was consulted. - -"No woman can do anything with Meyler in the way of love," said Sir -John; "for Meyler really don't know what sentiment means, and that is -why I cannot conceive what he is always doing with that fine strapping -woman, the Duchess of Beaufort, who appears never so happy nor so -comfortable, as when he is perched upon a high stool by her side. -Meyler is a mere animal, a very handsome one it is true, and there is -much natural shrewdness about him, besides that he is one of the most -gentlemanlike young men I know; but you may read his character in his -countenance." - -"What is that like?" I asked. - -"It is beautiful," said Sir John Boyd, "and so peculiarly voluptuous, -that, when he looks at women after dinner, although his manner is -perfectly respectful, they are often observed to blush deeply, and hang -down their heads, they really cannot tell why or wherefore." - -"And whom does he love?" I inquired. - -"His affections are, I believe, at this moment, divided between a Mrs. -Bang, a Mrs. Patten and a Mrs. Pancrass, all ladies of Covent Garden -notoriety. Meyler is a hard drinker, a very hard rider, and a good -tennis and a cricket player, prides himself on his Leicestershire stud -and his old English hospitality, and he is no fool though he hates -reading; and that is all I know about him, except that I don't believe -he would like to be constant for a single fortnight to the most lovely -or accomplished woman on earth. In short, he holds all women very cheap, -and considers them as mere instruments of pleasure, with the exception -of the Duchess of Beaufort, whom he calls a paragon." - -"_En voila assez,_" said I, "_de votre belle sauvage._ Perhaps you will -show him to me some day, not on Ludgate Hill, but at the Opera?" - - - - -CHAPTER XXVI - - -Things went on worse and worse at Badminton, and I am now delighted that -they did so, being altogether most miserably tired of the Beaufort story. - -The Duke of Beaufort at last sent a notorious swindler of his -acquaintance, who has since been confined in chains for forgery, one -Mr. Robinson, who, as I have heard, had long been in the habit of doing -dirty jobs for noblemen. Robinson declared that I had it in my power, -considerably to relieve the anxiety and distress of mind to which I had -reduced the Beaufort family, by returning all letters in my possession -containing promises of marriage made by the Marquis of Worcester to -myself. - -"In short," said Robinson, "if you will take an oath at Westminster -Hall, that you have delivered into mine, or His Grace of Beaufort's -hands, every letter, or copy of a letter, from Worcester, now in your -possession, you may make your own terms with His Grace." - -Though I never cared for myself, and I am afraid I never shall, yet, -when one is dealing with a notorious rogue it seems silly to become his -dupe: I therefore requested to have a week allowed me to decide. This -time being granted me, because I would have it so, I consulted a most -respectable counsellor, Thomas Treslove, Esq., of Old Square, Lincoln's -Inn, who had been acquainted with my family when I was quite a child and -living with my parents. - -Mr. Treslove, after reading Lord Worcester's letters containing his -repeated and solemn promises of marriage, at my particular request, -declared, what I have no doubt he is ready this day to repeat, merely -that he conceived the letters, if brought into a court of law, to be -worth twenty thousand pounds to me, and, when I afterwards consulted -Henry Brougham, Esq., M.P., of the same place, he entirely agreed in -opinion with Mr. Treslove. - -I inquired whether my situation, previous to my having been under the -protection of Lord Worcester, made any difference? - -"The court would not discuss that point, nor take it into the smallest -consideration for or against you," said Mr. Treslove. "You have, for -anything which can be proved to the contrary, in all probability been -prevented from establishing yourself eligibly or comfortably in life, by -having received the most solemn promises of marriage from the Marquis -of Worcester. If, from the extreme generosity of your disposition, you, -instead of hurrying the thing forward, wished his lordship to take time -for consideration, you have the stronger claim on that family, supposing -them to be people of honour. The duke has no witness of your having ever -refused the marquis, on the contrary, you tell me, His Grace will not -believe a single syllable of the matter. - -"Lord Worcester has, by the dates of these letters, been pledging his -faith to you for the space of two years; and, I conceive the damages, if -he should now declare off, would be rated at least at twenty thousand -pounds!" - -The next day I had a second interview with Mr. Robinson, to whom I -repeated the opinion of Counsellor Treslove, and assured him that -gentleman was ready to put it in writing if necessary. - -Robinson said that it would not be required; for the duke expected all -this, and indeed he thought that I might make better terms without -exposing the secrets of a noble family in a public Court of Justice. - -I promised Mr. Robinson that His Grace should receive my decided answer -by the next day's post. - -Robinson said this would not be regular, and it had better pass through -his hands. - -I begged to be excused, declaring that I must and would manage matters -in my own way; and Mr. Robinson was at length compelled to leave me, -although in a very ill-humour. - -The following morning Worcester arrived in town, with the Duke and -Duchess of Beaufort. Those worthy parents had again adopted the -pathetics, finding it impossible to manage Worcester in any other way. - -"My poor father is very wretched," said Worcester, "and my mother, when -I left the house this morning, was almost in hysterics, because I will -not consent to go abroad without you: and I never can nor will attempt -it." - -"Do you think they would feel happier if they were in possession of your -promises of marriage?" I inquired. - -"Certainly," answered Worcester. "His Grace would, in fact, make any -sacrifice to obtain them, though in the end they could not serve his -wishes, since I will never give up the hope and full expectation of -becoming your husband." - -"Poor duke!" said I, musing to myself after Worcester had left me on -the pomps and vanities of this wicked world. "I have perhaps, though -very innocently, been the cause of much uneasiness to him. Not that -this matter is quite certain either; for Worcester might have, by this -time, completely involved his father's estate. It had indeed been his -wish to do this, but that I laboured to prevent him, and he is now only -a few thousands in debt, owing to the very small allowance his father -makes him. I have never done the duke or his family any real injury, -and I never will; nay, I should like to prove myself anxious for their -happiness, only their all being so severe upon me, and so very abusive, -is such a damper. I will make the Duke of Beaufort like me, and regret -his former severity," continued I, opening my writing desk, and after -five minutes more deliberation, I addressed a letter to His Grace of -Beaufort, as nearly as I can recollect in these words. - - "Your Grace has been very severe on me and my errors; but, if - you imagine they are of a nature to destroy your domestic comfort, - I can easily forgive all the very harsh expressions which yourself - as well as Her Grace, in letters I have seen of her own writing, - made use of on my subject. I will venture to remind Your Grace - that I was very far from seeking the acquaintance of your son. In - short, but for such perseverance as I have seldom witnessed, I - had never placed myself under his protection. I knew not that in - doing so I was likely to destroy the peace of any human being. In - short, if I had not respected yours, I had long since become your - daughter-in-law. Having now inspired Lord Worcester with a very - strong affection, something is surely due to him from gratitude, - neither would my conscience acquit me if, out of respect for the - parent I never saw, I were to act with inhumanity towards the son - who would sacrifice all for me. I have pledged myself solemnly - not to desert him at present; but what I can do, in perfect good - faith to Worcester, I am very anxious to perform for the relief - of his noble father's mind. I will not sell the proofs of respect - and affection which have been generously tendered to me; but as - I conceive they cannot be put to better account than that of - relieving the anxiety of a father's mind, I have the greatest - pleasure in forwarding them to your Grace, and am ready to take any - oath that you may require, as to my now having enclosed you the - whole of Lord Worcester's correspondence in my possession or power. - All I ask, in return, is to be considered by your Grace, with - something less of ill-will, and that, for for your own sake, as - well as that of the duchess, you will feel some confidence in the - goodness of my heart, and in the sincere wish I do in truth feel, - that your son may turn out all and everything you can desire. - - "Only point out what I can do more, for the tranquillity of - Lord Worcester's parents, which shall not become a breach of faith - and humanity towards himself, and I declare to your Grace that you - shall never see me hesitate from anything like a selfish motive. I - have the honour to remain, with sincere wishes for the happiness of - Lord Worcester's parents, - - "Your Grace's most obedient, - "and very humble servant, - "HARRIETTE WILSON." - - -His Grace of Beaufort never in any way condescended to acknowledge the -receipt of this letter, which I carried myself and left with his porter -in Grosvenor Square; yet the Beauforts were ever a high-bred race! But -I conclude high-bred and well-bred must be two things, for it never -could be well-bred of His Grace to refuse to acknowledge the above, to -say nothing of the extreme selfishness and want of feeling of the noble -duke, who, having obtained what he wished for the present, returned to -Badminton, to which place he insisted on Worcester again accompanying -him. - -During another month, Worcester declared to me that his parents, -relatives, and his father's friends, persecuted and tormented him -beyond his patience; and that young Meyler had begged him to leave -me, as though he had been begging for his life, humbly entreating him -to forgive the liberty he took with him, which alone arose out of his -brotherly affection and respect for the duchess, &c. - -Worcester generally contrived to get over to London every two or three -days, though but for a few hours; and, when that was impossible, I went -to meet him at a village ten miles on this side of Brighton. - -One morning I received a letter from Worcester, so blotted over from one -end to the other, that it was scarcely legible, and some parts appeared -actually to have been defaced by tears. Such an incoherent scrawl I -never had known him nor anybody else write before! It was all over wives -and angels, and eternal constancy, and eternal despair; with miseries -and tortures without end. In short, it was out of all compass miserable, -and out of all rules, or direct right angles, or parallel lines. All -I could make out of this scrawl, as certain, was that Wellington, at -the request of Worcester's father, who had made it without his son's -knowledge, had appointed him his aide-de-camp, and that go he must; for -there was no remedy, or it would be called cowardice if he hesitated. -Nevertheless, he had sworn not to leave London unless he had been -allowed to pass a whole fortnight entirely with me. This had been -granted, and I was to expect him in two days after the receipt of his -letter, which ended with earnest entreaties that I would promise to -accompany him to the continent, and, lastly, his lordship informed me, -that his father would arrive in London on the same morning with his -letter, for the express purpose of attending a _levee,_ and demanding a -private audience of his present majesty, to beg permission for Worcester -to leave his regiment and join the Duke of Wellington in Spain. - -I knew not nor had ever suspected how much Worcester's loss would affect -me until there was no remedy and my case desperate, for well I knew that -I should never be permitted to follow up the army in Spain, even had I -been disposed to make the attempt. I burst into a violent flood of tears. - -It now struck me very forcibly that Worcester had deserved all my -devoted attachment, and that I had not been half grateful enough to him. -That he would lose his life in Spain I felt convinced, and that, since -his regiment remained in England, I should have his blood on my head. -What was to be done? My crimson velvet pelisse, trimmed with white fur, -and also my white beaver hat, with the charming plume of feathers, were -spread out in my dressing-room ready for Hyde Park, and conquests. And -poor Worcester perhaps might soon be numbered with the dead, food for -worms! - -After a second flood of tears, on went the red pelisse and charming -white hat, and in half an hour behold me standing at the Duke of -Beaufort's street-door, awaiting the answer to my humble, single rap, -with a little note in my hand, containing these few words, addressed to -the duke. - - "I earnestly entreat your Grace to permit me to speak a few - words to you before you attend the _levee_ this morning. - - "Your most obedient, humble servant, - "HARRIETTE WILSON." - - -When his Grace's huge, fat porter opened the door I made a desperate -effort to conceal my tears, which had been flowing in abundance ever -since I had read poor Worcester's letter, just as if I had received his -dying speech; and I delivered my little note, requesting to be allowed -to wait for the duke's answer. The porter looked on me suspiciously: he -seemed to be considering His Grace of Beaufort's moral character, as -his eye glanced from my face downward, as though it had struck him as -just possible that I might have come thus unattended, for the purpose of -swearing a child against his noble master. - -"Are you quite certain that it is the Duke himself you want to see, and -not the young marquis?" - -I assured him that I wished much either to see the duke, or to receive -an answer to my note. - -As the man again looked under my large beaver bonnet, I felt the tears -gush into my eyes. - -"His Grace shall have the note directly," said the porter, in a tone of -compassion, observing how I was trembling, as I really half expected the -Duke of Beaufort would order one or two of his tall footmen to put me on -the other side of the door. I saw the porter give my note to a servant -in livery, desiring him to take it to His Grace's valet. - -"The duke," said the porter, turning to me, "is dressing for the -_levee_; so you had better take a seat." - -I did so, and, while I was almost choked with the efforts my pride -caused me to make in order to conceal my tears from a parcel of curious, -impudent servants, who for near twenty minutes, that I was suffered to -remain in the hall, were eyeing me with very impertinent curiosity, the -kind porter again addressed me, almost in a whisper, with, "Ma'am, your -note has been put into His Grace's own hands, and he is reading on it; -so I dare say he will ring his bell, and we shall hear if there is any -answer for you." - -I waited another quarter of an hour in a very miserable state of -suspense, and in real, bodily fear of being kicked out of the house. - -At last, as I sat with my handkerchief to my eyes and my face turned -towards the ground, I heard some one, in a mild gentlemanlike voice -call from the bottom of the stairs, to inquire if the person was -waiting who had brought the last note? I raised my head, and seeing a -handsome-looking man in a court dress, who appeared to be a very little -older than Worcester, I grew brave, as I always do from desperation, -conceiving everything was now lost, and that the duke had descended from -his usual dignity for the purpose of seeing justice done to the orders -he was about to issue for my being kicked into the street. - -"Did you bring this note, pray?" asked the duke, addressing me, since -his first question had not, it seemed, reached the dull ear of the fat -porter. - -"I did, your Grace," answered I, firmly. - -"Then do me the favour to walk this way," continued the duke, opening -the parlour-door, and closing it after him. - -"What can he be going to do to me?" thought I, and trembled from head to -foot. - -"My bell was broken," said His Grace, "and, for the last ten minutes, -before I came down, I could not make any one hear: but I assure you that -I had no idea that you yourself were waiting in my hall. I conceived it -was your messenger." - -The least sound of kindness to one already so very low and nervous is -enough to affect one. The tears I had made such efforts to conceal -from the servants, would be restrained no longer and I was not, like -the duchess on a former occasion, almost hysterical, but quite so; and -the more I laboured and prayed for calm, the more impossible it was to -obtain it; so, as I stood sobbing aloud, in the middle of the duke's -large dining-room, with my handkerchief held to my eyes, the Duke of -Beaufort and myself really cut two very pretty figures! and I much wish -Stockdale would get a print of it! - -"I am not aware of your motive, Miss Wilson, for favouring me with this -visit," said the duke. - -And, as I attempted to apologise, my tears fell still faster and faster, -till they quite choked my voice. - -The duke seeing that mine was real agitation and not affectation, -condescended to unbend a little. - -"Sit down," said His Grace, drawing an easy chair towards me. "I beg -you will sit down and compose yourself, and don't think it necessary to -speak till you are more calm. I hope you believe that I felt very much -shocked that you should have waited in my hall? Upon my honour, I had -not a conception of finding you there when I went downstairs, because I -could not make anybody hear." - -At length I succeeded in recovering myself, so far as to state to His -Grace that, on the receipt of Lord Worcester's letter, I had felt so -very much shocked at the idea of being the sole cause of his lordship -being sent into danger, while his regiment remained quietly in England, -that really I found it impossible to resist making an effort to prevent -it, by proposing to His Grace to do all in my power to induce Lord -Worcester to consent to our separation; and even if I failed, rather to -agree to go abroad myself and keep my residence a secret from his son, -than that he should for my sake be exposed to danger. - -The duke declared that even had he been inclined to comply with my -request, and he honestly confessed he was not, it was now too late; "and -really Miss Wilson," continued His Grace, "it was from the first folly -and madness in you, ever to have fancied Worcester could or would have -made you his wife." - -"Your Grace still believes me desirous of the honour I might obtain by -forcing myself on you as your despised relative?" said I, indignation -drying up my tears at the idea of being misunderstood, "and further you -imagine that if I wished and would consent to marry your son I should -fail to accomplish my designs?" - -"Certainly," answered His Grace, proudly. - -"Duke!" said I, fixing my eyes mildly but firmly, on his face, "you -neither deceive me nor yourself by that assertion, for you know the -contrary. I am"--and I felt my heart swell with something between grief -and indignation--"I am," I continued, "naturally good, but you will, -among you, harden my heart till it becomes cold and vicious. Since -nothing generous, and no sacrifice on my part, is understood or felt, -even when I would serve others, and while I only think of them you will -not, or you cannot understand me. Allow me, then, to tell you, the fault -is in your own character; I will not say in your heart but in your want -of heart." - -The duke being of gentlemanly manners, to give everybody their due, -sought to appease matters a little. - -"I did not mean to hurt your feelings, I assure you," said His Grace, -"perhaps I expressed myself improperly. I only wanted to observe to you -that such unequal marriages are seldom if ever attended with happiness -to either party, as witness Lord Egremont, and several more I could -name." - -"Do not trouble yourself, duke, since I am, and I always was determined -not to marry your son; upon my word, I am; and, if you again give -me the lie, or speak to me as though you entirely disbelieved this -positive assurance which has been repeated to your son so often, while -on his knees he has implored me to become his wife, I shall say you do -so because I am a woman, and cannot call you to account for it. Your -Grace would use more ceremony with a man; but my object for the great -presumption of thus intruding on you was the hope of being able to -suggest some plan, which would render it unnecessary for Lord Worcester -to join the Duke of Wellington's staff. You have answered me on that -subject, and I have now the honour to take my leave of your grace." - -"Not yet," said the duke. "Pray stay till you are more tranquil. Shall I -get you a glass of water?" - -I declared it was unnecessary; but he insisted on my waiting, while he -himself went into his dressing-room to procure one. - -"Now I hope you are quite convinced that your being left in my hall was -contrary to my knowledge, and gives me real concern?" said the duke, -after I had swallowed the glass of water he presented to me. - -I bowed in acknowledgment of this apology, "I have spoken to Lord -Worcester's father for the first, and in all human probability for -the last time in my life," said I, feelingly; because I really for -Worcester's sake felt a regard and respect towards his father at that -time. - -"And if it should happen so?" inquired the Duke of Beaufort. - -"Will your Grace shake hands with me?" said I timidly, and without -presuming to offer my hand. - -"With great pleasure," answered the duke, and, after shaking hands -rather cordially, he himself conducted me into the hall, and called -loudly to the porter to attend and open the door for me. - - - - -CHAPTER XXVII - - -Worcester came to town on the following morning, and all the duchess -could say or do Worcester insisted on passing the whole of every day -with me. - -"My lord," Will Haught would say through the keyhole of our bed-room, -"my lord, the duchess desired me to tell you that she has a great deal -of business to settle with you to-day about, in short, about all manner -of things, my lord." - -"Very well, that is enough, Will," his lordship would answer. - -In another hour this torment would knock again. - -"My lord Her Grace looked rather displeased this morning. The duchess -was almost in a passion." - -"You be d----d! go along!" was the elegant reply. - -"My lord," in another hour, "you see I'm tired of standing in this -here room, and the duchess this morning--I assure you, my lord,--your -lordship knows what I mean, Her Grace had got a very particular look in -her face; you know, my lord, how she looks when she's vexed like, and -takes on, you know, my lord." - -"Go to hell!" vociferated Worcester, from the emergency of the case, -although he had by no means the habit of swearing. - -"I'm going, my lord," answered Will Haught. - -Everything was arranged in a week for my accompanying Worcester to -Spain. My female attendant was hired and my trunks nearly ready; but, as -new objections continually offered themselves to this plan, Worcester -was reduced almost to despair, and looked so miserably ill that -everybody he met made the observation. - -The army was not expected to be stationary. If I remained at Lisbon, I -should see no more of him than by remaining in London. The misery and -expense and privations, perhaps insults, I must endure, in my attempt -to follow the army could scarcely be surmounted; and Worcester could -not deny that I should make a coward of him; that fight he could not, -supposing I might be suffering under sickness or difficulty. At last, it -was finally decided, between us, as a thing impossible. We must then be -separated for one year, since there is no remedy; "but," said Worcester, -"I shall declare to my father, that at the end of that time we will -part no more. He has implored me to make a trial of a year's absence, -and I have consented; but, in twelve months from the day I leave you, -supposing I am not on my road to join you in England, remember you are -to come to me." - -This I promised, should the thing be practicable. - -At all events, no power on earth, he solemnly vowed and declared a -thousand times over, and as solemnly wrote it down, that neither man nor -devil should separate us longer than twelve months, during which time my -last kiss was to be virgined on his true lip. - -"If ever you prove false to me, or I to you, let all inconstant men be -called Ponders, and all false women, Cressids," said Worcester, or he -ought to have said so. In short, he spoke to this effect, only he spoke -more strongly; for, in his zeal, I believe, he hoped we might both go -where he had sent Will Haught, if ever we were inconstant; and, yet, he -was leaving his beloved, surrounded with spies and flatterers of the -duke, in the gay city of London. - -"Never mind, my love," said I, "for, if my residing in the metropolis -makes you miserable, I'll go and bury my wonderful charms in a village -and so immortalise it for ever!" - -But Worcester declared that all the comfort he was capable of feeling -at that moment, was my honour. - -"_Mais, ne sais-tu pas que je l'ai perdu?_" I inquired. - -"_N'importe. Si je place ma confiance, mon ange! c'est en toi,_" said -Worcester. - - * * * * * - -All this joking on serious and affecting matters is really in -monstrously bad taste! I cannot conceive how I can be guilty of such -heartless unfeeling behaviour! I, who condoled so pathetically both -in the crim. con. cases of Lord Boringdon, whom Ponsonby used to call -the Boring Don, and Sir William Abdy, when those excellent and abused -husbands took their tea with me expressly, as they both declared, -because I was a woman of such acute feelings; but, after all, being -now in the daily habit of meeting this profligate Marquis of Worcester -about Paris, with the sister of his late wife, and seeing him look as -if he did not even know me by sight, while I often forget, until he -has passed, where or when I have seen that man before, the face being -familiar, and, perhaps, the name even forgotten--"Oh, by-the-bye!" I say -to myself, if I meet him a second time in the same morning, "now I think -of it, that long-nosed tall man is Worcester." And just in this way does -his own treacherous memory no doubt treat his own "dearest dear; own -beloved! ever adored, and ever to be adored! delicious! sweet! darling! -wife! Harriette." - -_Tant ces choses la fachent, quand on y pense! mais, ainsi va le monde! -C'est dommage! Quoi faire?_ and how can one write pathetically on such -trifling subjects? But, nevertheless, I beg my readers to understand, -and believe that, though I was never in love with Worcester in my whole -life, yet I was at one time much too grateful, and too much attached to -him, ever to feel the slightest wish to be unfaithful even in thought, -and, with his ardour on one side, and my friendly civility on the other, -we certainly jogged on very well together; for I am, as I believe all -my friends will admit, so warm-hearted naturally that my mere friendship -is quite a match for many women's love. I am sure I always folded -Worcester's neck handkerchiefs for him with my own hands, because he -declared nobody else understood them: and besides this, I, every Monday -morning of my life, read the housemaid a lecture about keeping his -dressing-room free from dust! _Qu'est ce qu'il voulait donc?_ - - * * * * * - -Worcester declared that he would not leave me, until his father would -make me an allowance, at least during his absence from England. For this -purpose, about three days previous to his departure, he brought Mr. -Robinson, as he said, from the Duke of Beaufort. - -Robinson declared that anything Worcester could sign, by way of annuity -or allowance, would be good for nothing; "but," he continued, "I am -come to pass my word, in the Duke's name, that the allowance Worcester -requires for you shall be paid to you, in regular quarterly payments, -after all your house debts, &c, have been discharged." - -"Of course, Worcester, I may trust to this assurance made in your -presence?" I inquired. - -Worcester was sure his father would act up to his engagements, and I, -being in grief, and naturally careless in money-matters, believing, too, -that I was in the power of gentlemen, and gentlemen of strict honour, -assured them I was under no alarm, and never expected to be left to -starve, while I endeavoured to do my duty, and then the subject dropped. - -On the last day we passed together we certainly shed a superabundance -of tears. Poor Worcester was half blinded with his: and, seriously, a -man going to be hanged could not well have appeared more discouraged or -dismayed. - -"I will write at least a quire of foolscap to you every day," said -Worcester, "and may God bless my adored wife, and bless me only just as -I am found ready to sacrifice my life for her happiness." In short, but -for Lord William Somerset, who absolutely dragged him out of the house a -few minutes before the Falmouth mail started, I almost believe he would -have preferred love to glory and given old Wellington the slip. - -I passed the night entirely without rest, in spite of all the efforts -I made to recover my spirits. "He is gone. Nothing can bring him back. -Well, should he not be killed, it is a good thing for a young man to see -a little service. It wont do for me to lose all my life in fretting." -And fifty more such wise remarks did I repeat to myself during the long -night, and yet I could not forget poor Worcester's extreme kindness and -attachment. - -In two days more I was visited by Robinson, who used every argument in -his power to convince me of the folly of ever expecting to live with -Worcester again. - -"Why not act with common sense?" said Robinson. "There is His Grace -of Beaufort ready to provide for you in the most comfortable manner -possible for your whole life, in short, as I told you before, you may -make your own terms, conditionally that you never speak or write to his -lordship again." - -I begged Mr. Robinson not to lose his time in teasing me when I was out -of spirits. "Pray acquaint the duke that Worcester refused to leave -England until I had solemnly pledged myself to write to him constantly, -and wait for him a year from the day of his departure, and then tell me -if the duke commands me to break my written oath and ill-use his son?" - -"If he does, will you do it?" Robinson asked; but, considering this an -impertinent question I refused to answer it, and again the worthy man -went away in very ill-humour, declaring that for his part he could not -treat with me. - -Fanny was my constant visitor after Worcester had left England, and -did all in her power to amuse and enliven me. Worcester had promised -to make the acquaintance of Colonel Parker in Spain, and send her word -how he went on, whom he made love to, and in short, all the news about -him he could possibly scrape together. Fanny was very grateful to his -lordship for having himself suggested this plan to her. She was still -living with Julia, and Julia was yet beloved and adored by Mr. Napier, -who might have been her son in point of age and appearance. - -My opera-box had been engaged for that season, and paid for, before Lord -Worcester thought of being ordered off to the continent, and Fanny and -Julia had each of them purchased a ticket from me; yet I did not like -the idea of going there without his lordship. I knew I should feel dull, -and that the duke and duchess, whose box was opposite mine, would make -their observations on whatever I did, and might report mere nothings in -a way to disturb poor Worcester's feelings. - -"I will not go to-night," said I, in answer to Julia's pressing -entreaties, and I kept my word. - -I received, by the earliest occasion, a very long letter dated Falmouth -from Lord Worcester, who regretted, of all things, being detained -perhaps for several days longer in England. To be still in the same -country with his adored, beautiful wife, and yet know that we could not -again meet for a year, was what affected him more than he could possibly -describe, &c.; but really, love-letters are all so much alike that it -may be as well to refer my readers to Mr. Charlton's, or to those Lord -Charles Bentinck addressed to Lady Abdy, they being already printed and -published, and consequently come-at-able by all my gentle readers. - -The following Saturday's Opera was expected to be unusually brilliant. -All the fashionable world were in town: there was a new ballet too, and -a new French dancer; and Fanny declared it to be the height of folly to -have paid two hundred guineas for an opera-box without making use of it. - -"Well," said I, "since Worcester cannot well be shot by the enemy -previous to his reaching headquarters, I may as well take the -opportunity of seeing two or three more ballets; for, as to indulging in -gaieties while a parcel of shots are flying about his head or across his -brain is not in my nature." This last was, by-the-bye, a very foolish -idea, but a nervous woman will often fancy impossibilities, and that was -my case. However, I determined to cut all public amusements as soon as I -knew Worcester to be in contact with the enemies of old England. - -We were all three unusually well dressed on that evening, for our finery -was new and we humbly hoped in very good taste. On this night too, I may -say without flattering myself, that there was no lack of humble servants -and devoted pretenders among the gentlemen in waiting, who crowded about -me, believing, of course, that, in the absence of my jealous lord, it -would be no difficult matter to obtain favour in my sight, and, whether -I was the style of woman they liked, or just the reverse, still it -was always worth while cutting out a man who had been so proverbially -in love as Worcester. No doubt, argued such tasteless beings, who for -their own part saw nothing at all remarkable about me, no doubt she must -improve wonderfully on acquaintance: at all events, it is worth trying -what she is like. In short, if it had been possible to have turned -my head by flattery, _il y avait vraiment, de quoi;_ and it has been -remarked by several persons in high life, who knew the world well, that -it would have been easy for me to have secured at that period not less -than a dozen annuities. - -Amy was rather gay too that season, in her box next to mine, and the -Honourable Berkeley Paget had cut his wife and all his family to -accompany her, by her particular desire, about the streets and in all -public places. In short, he lived in the same house with her and seldom -quitted her for an instant. Everybody cried out shame, and some few such -very moral men as the Duke of York actually cut him dead, and refused -to receive him at Oatlands even on public nights: for, said His Royal -Highness, "A man ought to be of royal blood before he presumes to commit -adultery, except in private, like Lords Cowper and Maryborough." - -Fanny and Julia were both looking remarkably well, and many a beau -turned his head wishfully towards our box, anxiously waiting to observe -a vacancy for one. - -Brummell, Lord William Russell, Frederick Bentinck, Lord Molyneux, -Captain Fitzclarence, Lord Fife, Duc de Berri, Montagu, Berkeley Craven, -and God knows how many more, were our visitors. - -A young man, whose name I have forgotten, came to request the favour of -being allowed to present Mr. Meyler to me. - -This Meyler was the young, rich, Hampshire gentleman who, Worcester -assured me, had professed to entertain such a violent dislike towards -me. Both Fanny and I at once concluded that he wanted to come to me as a -spy, either at his favourite's, the Duchess of Beaufort's suggestion, or -his own. - -"Don't see him," said Fanny, "I am sure he will make mischief." - -For my part, as I have before informed my readers, _J'avais de temps en -temps le diable an corps,_, and I liked the description Sir John Boyd -had given me of that young gentleman's style of beauty and expression, -and I was, besides, rather curious to see how such a man would set about -disliking me! - -"No doubt," thought I, "since Meyler is such a mere profligate, he -proposes succeeding with me at once, merely to laugh at me afterwards, -and acquaint Worcester what a loose woman I am. He may not be aware that -I know him to be the friend of Worcester's family." - -Having made all these wise reflections to myself while the young man -chatted with Julia, I addressed him to inquire what sort of a person he -intended introducing to me. - -"Oh, a charming, beautiful youth, whom all the ladies are in love with," -was the reply; and I desired him to bring Mr. Meyler to me immediately. - -He took me at my word, and soon returned to present to our notice -a man, certainly of a very interesting appearance, and with a most -expressive countenance. His manner too was particularly unaffected and -gentlemanlike, and the tones of his voice were very sweet: nevertheless, -it was easy to discover, in spite of his naturally good breeding, that -he held me rather cheap. - -In short, to put the idea of respect to me out of the question, he -attempted to give me a kiss, as we descended the stairs together; but, -though I refused decidedly, it was done rather coquettishly, on purpose -that he might induce to renew the attack at some future day, with a -little more ceremony. - -"There would be no merit," I thought, "for Worcester, or the duchess, -to learn that I had declined giving encouragement to such abrupt -impertinence from a wild young rake, who was known to care for no woman -breathing beyond the moment." - -"Meyler is a beautiful creature," thought I to myself when stepping -into bed; "I wonder if he ever will really know how to love a woman -during his lifetime? If he were to be in love, what a bright glowing -countenance he possesses for expressing that or indeed any other -passion!" Still it was all nothing to me. Poor Worcester was going into -danger for my sake, and for mine alone, and sure I was as of my life, -that it was not in my nature to carry on a sly intercourse with another -man: and there was a year to wait according to my oath, and Meyler, -in that time, would have passed over at least five hundred little -caprices--and then, to crown all, he could not endure me, and only -visited me for the honourable purpose of proving how very cheap he had -held me! - -This idea settled me for that night, at least, and I fell asleep without -dreaming of Meyler, and awoke almost without recollecting his existence. - -At three o'clock in the day, my servant announced a gentleman, who -refused to send up his name, merely saying that he lived in Grosvenor -Square, and wanted to speak to me. - -I was about to insist on knowing who my visitor was before I admitted -him, when the idea struck me, as just possible, and I requested he might -be shown upstairs. - -It was the Duke of Beaufort! - -I was surprised at receiving a visit from His Grace, and still more so -when I found that he really had nothing particular to say to me. He -hesitated a good deal, looked rather foolish, and wished, for my own -sake as well as his son's, that I would abandon all hopes and leave off -corresponding with his son. - -"Duke," said I, interrupting him, "was it not your first and most -anxious wish that Worcester should go abroad?" - -"It was." - -"Well then, Lord Worcester positively and absolutely refused to leave -London, until I had pledged myself in the most solemn manner to continue -faithfully his, and not place myself under the protection of any other -man for one twelve-month from the day he should leave England. Do you -still ask me to break my oath?" - -The Duke, from very shame perhaps, was silent, and stood against my door -fidgeting and hesitating, as though he would have proposed something or -other, but that he wanted courage. - -After a long pause, he suddenly, and with abruptness, said, "Who makes -your shoes?" - -I fixed my eyes upon His Grace in unaffected astonishment at this -irrelevant question. - -"We will say nothing of the feet and the ankles," continued His Grace. - -This compliment was so very unlooked for from such a quarter, and -struck me so very odd, that I felt myself actually blushing up to the -very eyes, and I immediately changed the conversation from my feet and -ankles to the young marquis and the Peninsula. - -His Grace, when he took his leave of me, had made no single proposal nor -said one single word which could in any way assist my guess as to why he -did me the honour to call on me. - -I received two more very long letters from Falmouth: the last was -written in despair, agony of mind, &c., to use Worcester's own words, -and put into the post on the very eve of his lordship's sailing for -Lisbon. - -On the following Saturday, just as I was seated in my opera-box, Meyler -occurred to me again for the first time, and I was rather curious, at -least, to know whether he meant to visit me any more. Perhaps I was -half desirous that he should. It is true he could be nothing to me, -and besides he was so abominably cool and impertinent, and then he had -declared that he thought me anything but desirable. Still, I told Fanny, -I should like to have one more look at him before I died or retired into -the country, merely to ascertain if the expression of his countenance -was really as beautiful as it had struck me to be at first sight. - -Fanny declared that it was very wicked of me to wish anything whatever -about the matter; but Julia said, Meyler had if possible a more -delicious face than even her own adored Harry Mildmay; and, for her -part, she candidly owned he had but once to put the question to her, and -alas, poor Napier! - -However, Fanny might have spared her sermon, since neither Julia's -virtue nor mine was put in any sort of danger; for all the notice Meyler -took of either of us, was through his opera-glass as he sat in the -Duchess of Beaufort's box. - -Considering that by this time Meyler really disliked me, I began to -sympathise with him in his feelings; and, having determined to cut him -wherever we might hereafter meet, I amused myself with talking to half -the gay world, careless of everything but time present. - -Julia, having paid Amy a visit in her box, and mentioned to her that I -thought Meyler very beautiful, Amy immediately despatched the first man -she could find of his acquaintance, to invite him to her supper after -the Opera. - -I declared to Julia, if that was the case, I would not go to Amy's, as I -had taken a disgust at the idea of meeting Mr. Meyler: and I retired to -bed immediately on leaving the theatre. - -I passed much of my time in scribbling every little event which -occurred, to Worcester, and the rest, mostly with Fanny and Julia, -having changed my residence to one which was within a few doors of -Julia's. - -Meyler, as Amy afterwards informed us, did not attend to her invitation. - - - - -CHAPTER XXVIII - - -One Tuesday night, as Julia was not ready nor had even begun to dress -when I called for her, I went to the Opera alone. Judge my surprise on -entering my box, to find the front fully occupied by two immensely fat -city-sort of ladies, and an elderly stupid-looking man in powder. - -"There must be some mistake, I fancy," said I civilly. - -"How do you mean, madam?" asked the powdered man. - -"This is my private box, and you may see my name on the outside of it." - -The party in great haste produced three bone-tickets, which they had -purchased for eight shillings each at Mr. Ebers's. - -"They are the three tickets I am in the habit of disposing of every -night. Lady Castlereagh does the same thing; but nobody ever thinks of -intruding their society on me here. The tickets are sold for the pit." - -"For the pit indeed!" said one of the ladies with indignation, "the pit! -whoever heard tell of such a thing! You're much more fitter ma'am, for -aught I know, to go into the pit yourself than we are. Is our dress a -pit-dress or a gallery-dress ma'am?" - -"I fancy, madam, you are thinking of the play or Astley's. You are not -accustomed to the Opera I see, or you would not fancy anything too fine -for the pit. I assure you, you will all three cut a brilliant figure -there," said I. - -A little Captain Churchill, of the Guards, came into my box at this -moment, and opened his little eyes as wide as his astonishment could -stretch them, at seeing my party. - -"Mr. Churchill, these two ladies have bought my tickets of Ebers, and -they insist on taking up the front of my box." - -"Oh madam," said Churchill, addressing the eldest, "you really must -not expect to make such a very magnificent appearance for only eight -shillings." - -"Silence!" said the fat, powdered gentleman with dignity, and Churchill -stared impudently in his face and burst out into a laugh. - -"This is unwarrantable conduct, sir," said the stranger, "and I must -call the box-keeper, if you hinder my whole party from witnessing the -performance." - -"Excellent! Upon my word, capital! We are really very much obliged to -you all for being such monstrous good fun," said Churchill, holding his -sides. - -"Box-keeper!" roared out the powdered man, and one of them immediately -attended his summons. "These people are a great nuisance, box-keeper, -and they want to make us believe that we have no right to sit in our own -box!" - -"Excuse me, sir," said the man, "this box belongs to this lady. It is -Miss Wilson's own private property." - -"And pray are not these the tickets of this box?" the stranger inquired. - -"They certainly are," replied the man, "and I have no right to refuse -you admittance; but it is a regular, understood thing, when ladies -dispose of their tickets they are for the pit." - -"Don't tell me about your regular, understood thing," said the enraged -gentleman. "We have come up to town on purpose to witness an Italian -Opera, and we have procured tickets for this box. Now I'll tell you -what, young man, if you don't make these people silent, I shall apply -to a constable and insist on having them turned out." - -"Oh! how very good!" said Churchill, again laughing, and looking at the -party through his glass. "Did you all three come up by steam, or how?" - -The box-keeper vainly endeavoured to look serious, while informing them -that he really could not take upon himself to request me or my friend to -be silent, when we were inclined to converse or laugh in my own box, as -it was what everybody did; and many went there for no other purpose but -to chat with their friends. - -I requested the box-keeper to send Ebers to me, while the fat ladies -were turning up their eyes, and throwing out contemptuous remarks on the -man for having attempted to impose on them with such an improbable story -as that of people putting themselves to the expense of going to the -King's Theatre, when they only wanted to converse and had no wish to see -the performance. - -"Let us make ourselves so disagreeable to them, that they will be glad -to go," said I, in French, which language, from their stupid faces, I -concluded they had not studied. - -"I have been trying that plan for the last ten minutes," answered -Churchill; "but, how can _la belle Harriette_ ever expect to succeed in -disgusting others?" - -"You shall see," said I, "although I am going to be very vulgar; but the -case is desperate, for it is death to be stuck behind these fat people, -and I shall be quizzed and laughed at for a month, for changing my two -sister-graces, whom I expect every minute, for these two furies." I -then fixed my eyes steadily on the ladies' finery, particularly their -head-dresses, and, immediately afterwards chattered and laughed, in -order to seem as if I was talking at them, although, we never once -mentioned them. Then Churchill would take a peep at their feet, and -laugh again louder than ever. - -"Insufferably impertinent!" said the youngest lady, fanning herself -violently; but still they kept their seats. - -Mr. Ebers came into the box to express his regrets; and he did all in -his power to convince the ladies that it really was never meant that -those who purchased tickets for the night should enter the private boxes -of ladies who disposed of their tickets. - -"And pray, sir," said the eldest lady bridling, "do we look like people -who would bemean ourselves by going into the pit?" - -"Don't let's have no more to do," said the powdered gentleman pompously. -"Mr. Ebers! we request you to prevent this bold young man and woman from -making a noise, as we comed here for to see the Opera, not to listen to -all the absurd things you choose to tell us. When we want you we will -call on you in your own shop!" - -"Do sit down, Mr. Ebers," said I, pointing to a chair, which he accepted -for a few moments, merely to repeat his regrets that we had been so -intruded upon. - -I was now determined to have these people out, _coute qu'il coute._ - -"Madam," said I to the ugliest lady, "I take it for granted from your -appearance, that you are a lady of strict virtue?" - -The woman stared at me! - -"Consequently," I continued, "it must be painful for you to continue -with a woman so notoriously wicked as I am, and in my private box too! -just as if you were a particular friend of mine." - -"Now, Hopkins! what's to be done?" said the two ladies at once. - -"I am not joking," continued I, "as you will soon ascertain beyond a -doubt, since I expect the pork-merchant with whom I have promised to -pass the night every instant." - -"All quite true, madam," said Churchill, quietly, "and farther, I was -her companion last night. It was her respect for you which has made -her so very anxious to have you out before she sends for the bottle of -brandy she usually takes here; because she is the most violent creature -in the world after she has got a little here," pointing to his forehead. - -"Mr. Hopkins, come out!" said the ladies, and out they all bundled. - -Churchill followed them some paces down the passage, on purpose to laugh -at them, and returned handing in Julia and Fanny. - -Fanny could not for the life of her help laughing, and yet she was so -good, and loved me so dearly, she could not but feel hurt that I had -given myself so bad a character. - -"Why make yourself out worse than you are?" she asked. - -"Never mind, dear Fan, plenty of people are left to make the best of -themselves. One wants a little variety in life." - -"Is that Berkeley Paget peeping out of Amy's box? Why he looks like a -schoolmaster of Athens! Oh how beautiful Lady Foley is! As to those -vacant Pagets one is tired of seeing them, they are so proud and stupid. -Now I love pride; but hate your Lady Jane Paget-stupidity." - -"When do you mean to leave off talking nonsense?" said Fanny. - -"As soon as ever Lady Ann Wyndham will deign to lay aside her -leopard-fur tippet, with gold tassels, thrown off her bosom to keep her -cold, and her yellow blinds: but look at Her Royal Highness the ---- of -----; I thought it was a gold fish." - -"Upon my honour she is an odd fish," said Lord Glengal, who came in time -enough to hear my last remark. - -Next followed Luttrell, Nugent, Lord William Russell, Clanronald, -Macdonald, Lord of the Isles, &c., and everybody inquired if I had -received any news from the Peninsula, although everybody knew that it -was as yet impossible; but then people must say something, otherwise -they appear so stupid, you know! - -At this time, I remember there were at least four men who were, or -professed to be, in love with me, and I have forgotten their names; but -I may recollect them for my next book. - -It is very provoking! One was a bishop's son, and he used to sigh by -the hour together. Then there was a little quiz of a lord, or rather an -earl, who had long been married to a high-bred foreigner. However that -poor little creature is so afraid of his wife, that, if he will only -behave decently, I do not mean to publish him. There was the Boring Don -also, whom some call Lord Boringdon: but I defy my worst enemy to prove -that I was ever false to Worcester while I pretended to good faith, -since it is absolutely impossible. - -I passed a merry night and, as Mr. Nugent was bringing me to a hackney -coach, as carriage was out of the question on the Duke of Beaufort's -princely allowance, I observed Mr. Meyler waiting as if on purpose to -speak to me slyly, as I passed just by the Haymarket-entrance to the -theatre. - -And Harriette Wilson had refused to become Marchioness of Worcester, to -be waited for in a corner by a vile sugar-baker! Oh ye gods! I wonder I -did not drop down dead on the spot. But as Lord Byron says, "There is no -spirit nowadays," so I merely flew into a passion! - -Meyler's beautiful dimple as he smiled on me, did not disarm me in the -least. - -"Mr. Meyler," said I, _en passant,_ "it is not necessary for you to -conceal yourself in by-corners in order to acknowledge me, and for this -very simple reason, I wish to be allowed to decline your acquaintance." - -"But why?" asked Meyler, following us up. - -"Merely that I consider you a dead bore," I added, as I stepped into the -hackney coach and was followed by Julia. Fanny had retired early with -Colonel Parker. - -Nugent directed our coachman to Camden Town, and then wished us a good -night: but we had scarcely got clear of the throng of carriages, when -we observed a man in silk stockings running after us, bawling to the -coachman to stop. - -It was Mr. Meyler, who came up to the coach-window quite out of breath, -to beg very earnestly and humbly, that we would permit him to enter -the carriage just for a few moments, while he made his apologies and -explained things. - -"It is so perfectly unnecessary, Mr. Meyler, that I hope you will not -detain us any longer." - -"Mrs. Johnstone," said Meyler, addressing Julia beseechingly, "pray -intercede for me. Do pray allow me to speak to you five minutes. You may -put me down again at White's in St. James's Street, if you are tired of -me." - -"Oh! there can be no harm since we are two," said Julia. - -And, in spite of all I could say or do to prevent her, she pulled the -check string, and Meyler seated himself by my side, declaring he was -willing to prove at the very next Opera, how desirous and how proud he -should feel to acknowledge and protect me there or anywhere else. - -I told him I had merely spoken in haste, as the thing struck me at the -moment; that it was forgotten the next, and, if I had been rude, I was -ready to apologise rather than be teased any longer on a subject which -must be so uninteresting to all parties. Situated as I was with his -friend Lord Worcester, and being about to retire into Devonshire till -his lordship's return, what was the use of making acquaintances? - -"Oh dear," said Julia, "what shall I do?" - -"What has happened to you pray?" I inquired. - -"Oh, I am ruined--I shall be ruined! The man will arrest me for his -bill. I had all the trouble in the world to get two twenty pound notes -out of Napier at the Opera to-night, for the purpose of settling his -bill with them early in the morning, and they are gone!" - -Poor Julia, as she turned over her reticule for the last time, appeared -the image of despair. We had only just entered Pall Mall. Meyler, glad -to be employed rather than be turned out altogether, entreated us to -wait in the coach, while he ran back to search my box for Julia's -bank-notes. - -Julia, being more in debt than she dared to acquaint her stingy lover -Napier with, and really dreading the bailiffs every hour of her life, -was miserably agitated at this accident; and, being pregnant as usual, -she was seized with violent sickness just as Meyler had left us. - -"What will become of me?" said she. "I must drive off directly. I -would rather go to prison than disgust that charming young man with my -sickness." - -I thought it cruel to keep her waiting since she was so very ill, and -therefore, seeing the watchman standing in his box, I offered to let her -set me down and drive off without me. - -"How can you wait in this dress in the middle of the streets?" Julia -asked. - -I told her I would put my shawl over my head, and present the watchman -with a shilling, desiring his protection for a few seconds, that I might -not miss Mr. Meyler with the bank-notes. - -Julia grew worse, and I made the coachman drive her home without me. - -In about ten minutes Meyler came running towards the spot where I stood, -and appeared to be looking eagerly about for our hackney-coach. - -"Here, Mr. Meyler," said I, tapping him on the arm. - -"No, no, not to-night," said Meyler, pushing me from him, without -looking at me. - -"It is Harriette," said I, and he turned round in much astonishment. - -"You here alone?" said Meyler, "good heavens! I beg you ten thousand -pardons." - -"Julia was seized with such a violent head-ache and sickness, that it -was misery for her to remain an instant; therefore I made her drive home -without me." - -Meyler was evidently delighted to find me alone in the streets, but, -having discovered that nothing was to be done with me, without a little -more ceremony than he at first considered would be necessary, he began -by expressing his regrets that no money was to found and, still more, he -lamented having just lent his carriage to Lady Castlereagh. - -"How could I be so stupid," said he: "but you will allow me to set you -down in a hackney-coach?" - -"Certainly not," was my reply; and, lest he should again run after me, I -declared that, since the evening was so warm and moonlight, I proposed -walking home, if he insisted on accompanying me, and we actually walked -full dressed from Pall Mall to Camden Town; during which said long walk -Meyler endeavoured to make himself as amiable as possible, and took his -leave at my door, without teasing me for anything except permission to -call on me some morning. - -He was so very pressing, that I was at last foolish enough to say he -might pay me a visit at Julia's on the following Thursday, and he left -me quite satisfied and delighted, with having obtained so much more -than he had expected from my manner of receiving his advances at the -beginning of the evening. - - * * * * * - -I omitted to acquaint my readers that, just before the departure of Lord -Worcester, Her Grace of Beaufort took it into her head to break the -seals of my letters. It was very odd that so immaculate a lady could -venture to cast her chaste eyes on the private letters of Harriette -Wilson--the vile, profligate Harriette Wilson--addressed to her lover! -Moreover, it was surely dishonourable and dishonest: at least, it would -have been called so if I had done it; and then the duchess declared to -her son that my last letter was such an indecent one she could not read -it, and she proceeded to reason on the immorality of a paragraph at the -very bottom of my paper; which proves true the old saying--liars must -have good memories. - -_N'importe!_ - -I called on Julia the next morning, to acquaint her that I had taken the -liberty of inviting Meyler to her house, because I knew it would make -Lord Worcester miserable if I were to receive him in my own. - -"I like your making apologies," said Julia, "when you know how very much -I admire the lovely creature Meyler. Apropos," continued Julia, "my -two banknotes were in my bosom all the while, and I want very much to -apologise to that dear, little, blooming, arch-looking man, for all the -trouble I have given him." - -I could not but fancy Julia was not so much my friend as she ought to -have been, considering how anxious I had always shown myself for her -welfare, in thus encouraging Meyler; and I went home more than usually -interested about Lord Worcester; because Julia tried to make me neglect -him. - -In this humour, I sent off a few lines to Mr. Meyler, begging to be -excused from my promise of meeting him at Mrs. Johnstone's. "All this is -infinitely amiable of me," I reflected with much self-complacency, for -I was very dull by myself, and Meyler, as to externals, was much to my -taste. - -Julia informed me in the evening that Meyler had sat with her for more -than two hours, hoping to see me, and had gone away much disappointed. - -The next day, I received a letter from him begging permission to call on -me; and, as I sent no answer, he took the liberty of coming to my house -without permission, and I had some difficulty, and so had my servant, in -getting him out of it, and which was not till he had made every possible -effort to see me, for he went upstairs and tried to open the door of my -sitting-room, which I had locked. - -The moment he was fairly out of the house I addressed the following note -to him. - - "Miss Wilson presents her compliments to Mr. Meyler, is under - the necessity of informing him that she requires a little more - respect than he seems disposed to show towards her. Mr. Meyler - might have taken it for granted that, if she had been at home this - morning and disposed to receive his visits, she should not have - been denied to him. - - "CAMDEN TOWN." - -On Saturday, I could not well turn Meyler out of a box in which Julia -had a share, without her consent, and I was teased and talked into -allowing him to set us down; but nothing could induce me to admit him -into my house nor to remain alone with him an instant anywhere. - -I had promised to send Worcester a journal of everything I did; and -it really is so little in my nature, that it is scarcely in my power -to be artful; and so, as I would not walk about Camden Town to enjoy -a _tete-a-tete_ by moonlight, Julia was pressed into the service, and -we all three wandered about the fields, and Meyler sighed and talked -downright sentimentally, about leading a chaste life for my sake and -sending away all these women! At this of course we both laughed; but -Meyler continued in the same humour for two months longer. I never -received a single visit from him at my own house, and insisted over and -over again that he should not be admitted into my Opera-box: but Meyler -had so many little winning ways really they were overpowering to a poor -weak woman! He would tap at the door of my box, and Julia would open it, -and assure him that I should quarrel with them both if she admitted him: -and Meyler, instead of looking cross, would sigh, and point to a rose in -his bosom, and desire Julia to tell me that it was the rose I gave him -a week before, and he had preserved it with the greatest care. Then he -would go downstairs, and then his legs were so beautiful, and his skin -so clear and transparent, and Meyler was sentimental for the first time -in his life! - -Really all these things and thirty thousand a year besides were enough -to melt a heart of stone: and, as we were going out of the Opera, we -were sure to see Meyler's bright smile as he stood watching for us. -Then, if there was the least difficulty about coaches, &c., he would -come up and say mildly, that his carriage was at the door and, if we -would use it, he would not enter it but go home in a friend's. In -short, Meyler was so very humble, persevering, and indefatigable, that -he contrived to see and converse with me every day of my life in spite -of all I could do to prevent him, although I never once admitted him -to my house, or to a _tete-a-tete_, and I wrote Worcester a full and -most exact account of all my proceedings. I even went so far as to tell -him, I really was afraid Meyler's attention might create a very strong -fancy, notwithstanding I certainly had not esteem for him. To prevent -the possibility of this I proposed retiring into some quiet village in -Devonshire. - -This my readers, I mean my young and handsome readers, will admit was a -sort of thing easier said than done. London was so very gay! Meyler so -very attentive! _Tout le monde_ seemed so very much to admire my person, -and delight in my conversation; and I was about to leave all this for a -dull village, where I was to pass one of the most brilliant years of my -life in perfect solitude. - -"I will make any settlement on you you may please to ask of me," said -Meyler, "if you will but leave Worcester and live with me." - -"You have told me this at least fifty times already," I replied, "and -you really may spare yourself any further useless trouble. I must follow -the dictates of my heart whatever may become of me. There will be a -consolation in a clear conscience, and, in leaving Worcester, I should -feel that I deserved the worst that could happen to me, and both your -lives might be lost in a duel: or, if Worcester was killed abroad, -having first cursed me for my conduct, I should never get over it: else, -you know I am full half in love with you, and Worcester knows well I was -never one bit in love with him." - -"Then if you do love me," said Meyler, "I will hold myself disengaged, -and wait for my chance of you during the whole of that year you have -promised to wait for Worcester's return." - -I laughed at Meyler's promises, assuring him I had not the least faith -in them. - -Worcester was eternally writing to me, and nothing could be more -romantically tender than his letters. No power on earth could tempt him, -or should ever induce him, while he breathed, to even bestow a single -kiss on any woman's lips but mine, &c.; then followed very excellent -descriptions of battles, with a long account of Parker, for Fanny. - -These very kind letters at length determined me to leave London. - -The last evening I passed in town was truly a dull one to me. "No -doubt," thought I, "this gay young volatile creature, surrounded as he -is by temptation, will forget me in less than a month! I am unprovided -for, and am leaving every friend on earth, to wander about for a lone -lodging in a dismal village. It cannot be helped! Worcester's mind must -be set at rest; because there was nothing he was not ready to do for me." - -"Where is there a village?" said I to Luttrell, who informed me that -there was a village called Charmouth, within thirty miles of Exeter, -which, as he once passed through it, had struck him as particularly -picturesque. - -"That will do," said I, sick of the dry, dull subject; and I took a -place for myself and my _femme de chambre_ in the Exeter mail without -further delay. - -Meyler was half cooled, as soon as I was quite determined to leave -London; but still he was very melancholy. - -"Might he write to me?" he inquired. - -"Yes," said I, "but your letters will be shown to Worcester, mind; so -you must confine yourself to mere friendship. If, however, circumstances -force me to leave his lordship and you are good enough to remember me -with kindness, I will gladly come to you." - -"In a year, then," said Meyler, "if Worcester does not return?" - -"All that must depend on circumstances," I replied. - -Meyler shed one tear at parting--_c'etait beaucoup pour lui,_ and he -gave me a gold toothpick case, with some of his hair in it; so, having -taken leave of Fanny and Julia, fancy me and my maid in the Exeter mail -on our road to Charmouth: and, in about one fortnight after my arrival -in this village, my reader may imagine me sitting at a little, rural, -thatched window, in that beautiful country, addressing the following -long letter to my sister Fanny: - - "Charmouth, Devonshire - - "MY DEAREST SISTER,--I really am afraid you will accuse me of - want of affection towards you, in having suffered a whole fortnight - to elapse without acquainting you of my arrival in this part of the - world. The fact is my constitution is really good for nothing, and - I have only just recovered the fatigues of two successive nights - passed in the mail-coach. I could have scribbled a few lines it is - true; but then I thought it would be so cockney-like, to put you to - the expense of heavy postage, merely to state our safe arrival; and - I waited till I could give you some little account of myself. - - "To begin then, we got here at about six in the evening, - without anything in the least romantic having occurred to us; for - we were neither upset nor thrown into a pond, just as a lovely - youth happened to be passing by. - - "One of these incidents ought really to have occurred; - _mais enfin que voulez-vous?_ It was a beautiful May evening - when the mail-coach set us down at a little country-looking - sort of pot-house in this village. I was wretchedly oppressed by - melancholy and fatigue. I inquired for beds, and was informed by - very good luck that my landlady's only bed-room, containing two - small, neat, white beds, was at our disposal. The stair-case was - a ladder, or rather a ladder was the stair-case. We will not be - particular. I was soon in bed, and my maid contrived to procure - me a cup of tea, which is all I remember happening to me till - about eight the next morning, when the broad sun, shining in my - face for want of window-curtains, induced me to rise. As for my - maid, she was already dressed and busy with my trunks, searching - out my clean linen. I am sorry, really, for the most noble the - Marquis of Worcester, but the fact is, my very first thoughts on - awaking, and my most sincere regrets, were for the miles which now - separated me from poor, little, beautiful Meyler. In short, having - done everything right towards Worcester, I loved him much less - for that very reason. My maid, as you know, is really superior to - the generality of _femmes de chambre,_ and as I have had reason - to believe is really attached to me: still, I fancy, she must - have left somebody yet dearer to her in London, from her extreme - melancholy. However, my own spirits were this morning so deeply - oppressed, that I liked her the better for being of my humour. - - "As soon as I was dressed, my good-natured landlady begged I - would come down to breakfast, while it was hot. She gave us most - excellent Devonshire cream and hot Devonshire cakes. In short, - everything was so clean and delicious in its way, that it was - difficult not to be hungry. - - "After our breakfast we inquired for a guide, to show us some - of the beauties of that part of the country. - - "'My little boy will take you over to Lyme Regis. He is - particularly cute, and can tell you more than I can,' said the good - landlady. - - "'What distance is Lyme Regis from this village?' I inquired. - - "'Oh laws! only about two miles, and the most beautifullest - walk in the world.' - - "Behold us then, on our road to Lyme Regis, with a little - cute Devonshire lad for our guide. I cannot describe the scenery - like Mrs. Radcliffe, I wish I could; but alas! I have not an idea - of the kind, and yet I can feel and enjoy it. Devonshire you know - is a very hilly country, and the air is almost as pure as that in - Italy. After following our guide for about a quarter of a mile, - along a close, narrow lane, entirely shaded from the sun, we turned - a sudden angle, when such a magnificent view of the ocean presented - itself, as absolutely fixed us to the spot for nearly ten minutes. - I wish I could describe it, for nothing in the shape of scenery - ever made such an impression on me as that we enjoyed in our walk - from the village of Charmouth to the pretty little watering-place - called Lyme Regis. It was about twelve o'clock when we arrived - there. - - "Lyme Regis is a sort of Brighton in miniature, all bustle - and confusion, assembly-rooms, donkey-riding, raffling, &c. &c. It - was sixpence per night to attend the assemblies, and much cheaper - if paid by the season. We went to a little inn and dined. From the - window, I was much amused to see the number of smart old maids - that were tripping down the streets, in turbans or artificial - flowers twined around their wigs, on the light fantastic toe, to - the sixpenny assembly-rooms at five in the evening! They were very - pleasantly situated near the sea, and as we walked past their - windows we saw them all drinking tea and playing cards. There were - amongst them persons of the highest rank; but the society was - chiefly composed of people of very small independent fortunes, - who for economy had settled at Lyme Regis; or of such as required - sea-bathing; natives, either of Exeter or any neighbouring town. - There were plenty of furnished lodgings to be let at Lyme Regis; - but I determined if possible to establish myself at Charmouth, that - place being so much more to my taste. - - "'It will be impossible, madam,' said the landlady where we - dined, 'since Charmouth is a very genteel village, inhabited by - persons of small fortunes, who would not condescend to let lodgings - or take in boarders. There are not perhaps three dozen houses in - the whole village, and certainly not one lodging-house. All are - independent and proud, except the owners of a few huts round about - that neighbourhood, to whom the gentry of Charmouth are very kind - and charitable.' - - "'Well then, I must return, much against my will, to establish - myself here,' said I. This idea increased my melancholy, for I - hate, and always did hate, anything like London in miniature. Give - me town or country _en grand!_ Solitude or the best society; but I - abhor little sixpenny assembly-places. - - "At eight o'clock in the evening we arrived at our humble inn - at Charmouth in a donkey-cart, and immediately retired to rest. At - six the next morning, since the broad daylight would not suffer - me to sleep, I determined to walk all about the village in search - of lodgings, before I could be induced to give up the hopes of - securing a residence there. We found no difficulty in procuring - the same excellent breakfast, which was served up with perfect - neatness by half-past six, and at a little after seven the gay and - fashionable Harriette Wilson was to be seen strolling about the - little village of Charmouth as though it had been her native place, - and she had never heard tell of the pomps and vanities of this very - wicked world. - - "We carefully examined every house we passed for a bill - indicative of lodgings to let; but in vain. They all appeared to be - inhabited by some respectable individual, neither rich nor poor. We - had walked twice through the village and round about it, and were - bending our steps towards our little pot-house in mute despair, - when my attention was arrested by the striking loveliness of a - young lady who was watering some flowers at one of the windows of a - house I had before admired for its peculiar neatness. She smiled - so very graciously that I was encouraged in my wish to address her. - The moment she saw me make towards the little street-door, she ran - and opened it herself. After many apologies, I entreated to be - informed if I was likely to succeed in obtaining board and lodging - with any private family at Charmouth. The young lady entreated me - to walk into the parlour and sit down. We chatted together for - about a quarter of an hour, like people who had taken a liking to - each other, and then she left me to speak to her mother on the - subject of procuring me a comfortable residence. In a short time - she returned, and presented me to two very respectable-looking - women in deep mourning, as her mother and aunt. After a little - more conversation, Mrs. Edmond, which was the name of the young - lady's mother, spoke to me to this effect: 'I am the widow of an - officer in the navy, whose death, when abroad, I learned ten years - ago from a brother-officer who had been present, and came here to - convey his last requests to his family; since that moment, having - for ever renounced the world, I live only in my child, and have - nothing to do on earth but to attend to and promote her happiness. - She feels greatly disposed to benefit by your pleasant society, and - has made it her anxious request that I will offer you an asylum in - my house: therefore, if you like to inhabit a snug room which faces - the country, it is at your service, and you may keep it entirely - for your own use. I have also a servant's room for your maid, and, - if you can accustom yourself to our family dinner, the thing is - arranged at once.' - - "I could scarcely conceal my surprise at finding such good, - innocent, confiding people, ready thus to take a stranger in - without making a single inquiry. However, as I determined to act - with the strictest propriety, and conform to the established rules - of the family, to be regular at church too for the sake of example, - I conceived that it was certainly not incumbent on me to turn - king's evidence against myself as to my former irregularities, or, - as my friend Miss Higgins would say, little peccadillos. I pressed - them to name terms for me and my maid at once, and the price they - asked for being troubled with us both was so ridiculously moderate - that I insisted on doubling it, and refused to hear another word on - the subject. These good people would not even allow me to return to - the little inn, but despatched a man, with my _femme de chambre_, - to pay my bill and bring my trunks to me. - - "Every thing, which the warmest affection or the oldest - friendship could have dictated, was put in practice for our comfort - and accommodation. I had a nice bedroom, adjoining the snug little - sitting-room where I am now writing, and Mrs. Edmond, who has long - studied the qualities of medicine, in order to render herself - useful to the poor people about the village, insisted on doctoring - me, declaring that I was feverish. One of the ladies rubbed my - feet, another administered white wine-whey, and another--but I have - swelled my letter to such an enormous length, that I must defer - saying any more about these good people till my next. I am very - anxious to hear from you, and I confess I should like to know if - Meyler has entirely forgotten me. - - "What vain creatures we are! I expected to have received at - least half a dozen letters from that young gentleman ere this. - Alas! not a single line! Do pray, dear Fanny, let me soon be - consoled in this extreme case, by an account of his having hanged - or shot himself! I must enclose this to the Marquis of Hertford, - not to ruin you. Pray write soon to a poor melancholy recluse, and - believe me ever, - - "Your most affectionate sister, - "H.W. - - "P.S.--How do Amy and her schoolmaster of Athens go on?" - - - - -CHAPTER XXIX - - -Two days after I had despatched the foregoing long letter to Fanny, the -little post-woman--for we had no post-man; but a good old soul, who used -to trot a l'Esterhazy--came down the hill with a lanthorn, the mail-bag -coming into Charmouth at ten o'clock at night. Eliza Edmond and I had -watched this poor creature every night during almost a fortnight, from -my little window, as the light of her lamp appeared for an instant and -was lost again, while she stopped to deliver her letters. At last, she -stopped at our door, and presented two heavy packages for Mrs. Wilson. - -The kind, warm-hearted Miss Edmond came flying upstairs, and was -breathless when she delivered them. - -"One of these is a foreign letter, and no doubt from your husband," said -Eliza, kissing my cheek, while her eyes sparkled with such unaffected, -benevolent joy, as made her beauty appear more than human. - -I hastily examined the address of the first which was presented to me: -it was from Lord Worcester, and the real anxiety I felt to learn his -safety, overcoming all curiosity about Meyler, I broke the seal of this, -while the other unexamined had fallen to the ground. - -"It is from your husband then?" asked Eliza, and, having answered her in -the affirmative, she had the delicacy to glide out of the room like a -spirit before I was aware of it. - -Worcester had already been in one action. He had prayed to me, as to -his tutelar saint, kissed my chain, which he wore about his neck, and -his party had been successful. He wrote in high spirits, and gave me -what, by excellent judges of those matters, was afterwards considered -one of the most accurate descriptions of a battle ever written by any -officer. The letter ended, like all the rest of his letters, with vows -of eternal love and fidelity; and he assured me that he had already -learned to speak Spanish. - -What a clever man this might have been, had he but the habit of -reflection, methought; for Lord Worcester's memory often astonished me; -and yet the man must after all be little better than an idiot, if he -cannot reflect, or study, or understand the secret workings of the human -mind. Such men esteem no act but that of hand: - - The still and mental parts, - That do contrive how many hands shall strike, - When fitness calls them on; and know, by measure - Of their observant toil, the enemies' weight-- - Why this hath not a finger's dignity; - They call this bed-work, moppery, closet-work; - So that the ram, that batters down the wall, - For the great swing, and rudeness of his poise, - They place before the hand that made the engine, - Or those, that, with the fineness of their souls, - By reason, guide his execution. - -I have been led into making this quotation, _malgre moi;_ it is so very -striking, clear, and beautifully expressive. - -Somebody or other has, I think, asserted that the comedy of _Troilus and -Cressida_ is not a genuine work of Shakespeare; but I cannot but agree -with a very great man, Doctor Johnson, that it is easier to imagine -Shakespeare might sometimes fall below his highest flights; than that -anybody else should be found equal to his lowest. - -Having finished reading Lord Worcester's letter I hastened to examine -the second epistle, which had fallen to the ground. It was as I -suspected, or rather as I hoped, from Meyler. He had at first, he said, -determined to forget me, since there was so very little chance of our -ever meeting again. However that, as he was pleased to add, was out of -the question. He was in fact unwell, and required Devonshire air. I -must not be surprised therefore to see him in my neighbourhood. He had -only once called on Julia since I left town; because seeing my friends -only added to his melancholy now I was gone. There was nothing like -Worcester's sort of rapture in his letter, yet something melancholy -and interesting about his style of writing which appeared perfectly -unaffected. - -Meyler was anything rather than romantic: his manner and voice were -particularly pleasing at all times; but the former had generally -something of melancholy, till he had drunk a few bottles of claret, -and then, though not at all noisy or ungentlemanlike, he appeared all -animation and happiness. - -I was a good deal affected by his letter, and the idea that I had no -chance of seeing him again; nevertheless I immediately answered his -letter as follows: - - "CHARMOUTH - - "MY DEAR MR. MEYLER,--I must candidly confess that I am glad - that you have not forgotten me: and I wish you happy with all - my heart and soul; but, believe me, I cannot prove myself more - desirous of being liked and esteemed by you, than I have done and - shall continue to do. I have often been surprised at the imbecility - of the silly, weak, mistaken females, who fancy they can make - themselves beloved by breaking the solemn vows they have made to - God and their husbands, and forsaking for ever a whole family of - helpless children; as if a man could esteem trust, love, or honour - one, who proves herself a heartless hypocrite and an unnatural - mother! One who, for the indulgence of mere animal passion (for of - real affection she must be incapable), can forsake her children - and forget the laws of God and man. I have never been married - it is true. My mother's marriage was unhappy, and besides being - somewhat disgusted with what I saw of it, I cannot for the life of - me divest myself of the idea that, if all were alike honourable - and true, as I wish to be, it would be unnecessary to bind men - and women together by law, since two persons who may have chosen - each other from affection, possessing heart and honour, could - not part, and, where there is neither the one nor the other even - marriage does not bind. My idea may be wicked or erroneous: indeed - I think it is so, with regard to mothers: but, at least, I hope I - am incapable of acting towards any one with a want of honour, or - of such tenderness of heart, towards those who deserve it from me, - without which feeling a woman is in my opinion unsexed. As I keep - my faith to Worcester, so hereafter will you be inclined to trust - me, if any unexpected circumstance should oblige me to separate - from him. In the meantime, I must throw myself on your honour - and kindness, as to your idea of intruding your society on me in - Devonshire. I assure you that, on the very day of your arrival, I - shall hold myself in readiness to leave these very hospitable, new - friends, who have been so very kind to me; but you are of course - only joking! How, in fact, can I be so ridiculous as to fancy for - an instant the rich, handsome, gay Meyler, would so far astonish - the natives of this little village as to come and establish himself - among us? How you would laugh to see me in my quiet straw bonnet, - trotting down the hill to church, and lending my arm to the - curate's father, aged ninety-five! After church, I appear in the - character of My Lady Bountiful, paying visits to the sick, followed - by my maid, bearing my good host's medicine, with my own wine and - broth. Charity is stimulated here, where the number of poor is so - limited that, by each of us contributing our mite, we may hope to - meet only smiling, happy faces in our walks. - - "Last week I found a poor woman, and six fine beautiful - children without a roof to her house: for a trifle I made it - a comparative paradise, and now Miss Edmond and her mother are - employed in making up the stuff-frocks I purchased for the - children. But enough of Harriette Wilson as Lady Bountiful. - - "I suppose you will soon get into parliament, _a present, que - vous avez vingt et un ans bien sommes._ Do you see much of your - favourite, the Duchess of Beaufort now? Pray tell me all the news - you can scrape together. Of course the Beauforts have received news - from Lord Worcester long ago? My last letter from his lordship, - which I received with yours, had been delayed by being directed - to London. My old beau, Wellington, is going on famously, thanks - to the fineness of his nerves and his want of feeling, and his - excellent luck. I do not mean to say he has not a good notion of - commanding an army; for, though I do not understand things, I am - willing to take it for granted that this is the case; and yet, I am - told, but I will not venture to say by whom, that he is miserably - ignorant of the country, and ought really to hire a master for - geography, instead of sitting still and looking so stupid after - dinner. It is really quite disgusting, when one has been hearing - him so cried up, to see him such a savage! Nevertheless, _tel qu'il - est_, he has made, I understand, a desperate conquest of Lady - Caroline Lamb; but then her ladyship was never very particular you - know. - - "I will now take my leave, with sincerest wishes for your - welfare and happiness; therefore, whether we meet again or not, - - "God bless you. - "H.W." - - -Though I remained a year at Charmouth, I really can remember no one -incident that occurred to me during the whole of my _sejour_ there, -worthy the attention of my readers. Mrs. Edmond was invariably obliging, -gentle and melancholy, her sister, "my aunt Martha," as Eliza Edmond -used to call her, was a very merry, comical old maid. Eliza was, -without any one exception but that of my beloved mother, the most truly -virtuous being, according to my acceptation of the word virtuous, which -does not mean chastity only, I ever met with in my whole life. Nay, my -dear mother herself cannot have been purer in her thoughts, hopes and -wishes, than was the beautiful Eliza Edmond; but then Eliza possessed a -less enlarged mind, and was more a bigot, and had less quickness, and -natural strong sense, than that dear parent. Eliza lived and breathed -but to serve, oblige and benefit others, and yet she was afraid of God -our Father who is in heaven. This I could never understand. - -My mother would have lived for others, whether it pleased God or not; -because her heart would have it so; but, when she felt her death -approaching, instead of praying or sending for a priest, she merely -said, "I wanted rest, and God is about to reward me with it: yet I fain -would have remained with my children had it so pleased him; for I asked -not to be happy before they were." - -Eliza was beautiful; but my mother's beauty was that of spirit and mind -alone. It was not earthly; for I have seen nothing on earth like it: -so pale, so still, and so expressive. In the whole course of my life, -I never saw my mother anxious, even one instant, unless for others; -and yet I have nursed her in the bitter pangs of child-bearing, and -have often seen her tortured with bodily pain; yet, God's will be done, -was all she said or thought as to herself, while, in regard to serving -others she was the most sanguine, eager and romantic that could be -possibly imagined. - -Eliza was too religious, too devoted to the observance of every form -of the Christian faith, to have cast an eye of love on anything but -a parson; and her heart would therefore have been safe, but that, -unluckily, a certain black-eyed, most libidinous divine, having been -thrown into her society just before I became acquainted with her, his -hypocrisy had proved more than a match for poor Eliza's simplicity; and -she had loved him, from the belief that he was most pure and holy. My -readers may conceive what her feelings must have been, when this first -object of her warmest, devoted love, finally declared to her that their -marriage must be kept secret, since his friends would never receive her -as their daughter. - -From that hour Eliza had never seen her lover, and no power on earth -could have induced her to consent to a single interview. - -"You are then, very proud, Eliza," said I, to her, after her mother had -related this story to me in her presence. - -"Do you call my love of God pride?" asked Eliza. "If ever I had married, -my husband, after my God, would have been nearest my heart. Could I -respect the husband who would deceive his parents? or would you have had -me force myself into a family which despised me?" - -I never saw Eliza so agitated, and, observing the crimson blush on her -cheek, I said, "You are very proud, Eliza, after all, that is the truth." - -Eliza's quivering lip was now pale as death, as she raised her eyes to -heaven, and in the next instant she rushed out of the room. - -Eliza's mother placed her hand gently on my shoulder, seeing that I was -about to follow her daughter. - -"Eliza is gone to pray," said Mrs. Edmond mildly. "You have frightened -her; but it was not, I am sure, intentionally. You know not how very -delicate is her conscience; how pure, yet how ardent are her feelings! -Pray go to her, in about a quarter of an hour. I would not have her -dwell longer on what you have said; for Eliza is consumptive. She will -be taken from me soon enough, by God's will; we must not cause her -unnecessary agitation." - -Mrs. Edmond, as she wiped away the tear which gave brilliancy to her -eye, seemed as if she would have spoken severely to me, had severity -been in her nature! I held out my hand timidly towards her, and she -immediately pressed it most cordially, as she repeated, smiling through -her tears, "Eliza loves you so dearly, that I am sure, if you have -wounded or frightened her you can and you will console her." - -I pressed this tender mother's hand to my lips and hastened to join her -no less tender daughter. I found her upon her knees and her eyes were -bathed in tears. - -"Eliza," said I, "why do you weep? Surely since God is our father, and -you love Him, and pass every hour of your life in trying to please Him, -you, of all people on earth, need not fear your father." - -"But I am proud, very proud," said the poor, dear girl, sobbing, and -throwing her arms round my neck, "and the indignation I expressed, and -which I then believed to have been virtuous, you have taught me to -believe was all pride; and that God, whom I adore, that God, in whose -presence I shall soon stand, loves only the humble and the meek. - -"Leave me," continued Eliza, in much agitation, "Pray let me benefit by -your good, your excellent understanding. I want to be reconciled to my -God. Indeed you shall, if it so pleases Him, see me as calm and happy as -ever when we meet at supper. Till then God bless you," and she imprinted -a most fervent and most affectionate kiss on my cheek. - -"God will not, I am sure, judge you so severely as you judge yourself, -poor Eliza," I replied, and then left her. - -Eliza, generally speaking, was more cheerful than persons usually are -when they are dying; and nobody expected that poor Eliza would live -beyond five and twenty. - -We were often invited to little family tea-parties, where we passed -our time comfortably enough, though most gay London ladies would have -been bored to death; but I thank my God for bestowing on me a contented -disposition. - -Meyler wrote to me constantly: sometimes he was melancholy; then he -determined to join me whether I would or not; he next declared that I -was cold and selfish, and that he would forget me: at last, he almost -teased me out of a promise, or rather a half-promise that, if at the end -of the year there were new obstacles thrown in the way of my joining -Worcester, or his lordship's returning to me, I would put myself at once -under Meyler's protection. - -In the meantime Lord Worcester corresponded with me as regularly and -lovingly as I could possibly desire, and so did Fanny. In answer to one -of my letters to her, written nearly three months after my arrival in -Devonshire, I received the following: - - "MY DEAR HARRIETTE,--Many thanks for your last kind letter, - in which you enclose my Lord Worcester's, containing so much news - of Colonel Parker. I was indeed in want of consolation; for I am - very melancholy, and my cough is still rather troublesome, although - not bad enough to have prevented my attendance at the Opera, which - closed but last night for the season. - - "All the gay world are constantly asking me about you. As to - Mr. Meyler, we have seen but little of him. Last night however we - observed him in the pit; and so did Amy, who was of our party: - she immediately sent somebody down to request him to join us, and - her messenger returned, bringing Meyler with him. He looks very - well, and, as usual, particularly interesting. He asked Julia and - me at least a thousand questions about you. Amy, to change the - disagreeable subject, invited him to sup with her; but he begged - to be excused, provokingly adding, that her house would make him - melancholy, by reminding him of you. Amy could scarcely conceal - her ill-humour at this answer. Julia asked him if he really meant - to say he had not forgotten you all this time? and he seriously - declared that he had never loved you better nor any being else - half so well: and then the poor little man sighed quite naturally, - as though he could not help it; but, though I do not mean to hurt - your vanity, I fancy there was something of ill-health in that - sigh of his. However, perhaps this is a mere fancy of mine, for - Mr. Meyler himself, who ought to be the best judge, professes to - be in remarkably good health, and he is known to ride very hard in - Leicestershire. But there is something so remarkably transparent - about Meyler's skin. It is, in fact, a churchyard-skin, like my own - I think. I hope I am mistaken too: for it would be hard to die, - in the bloom of youth and beauty, beloved by everybody, and with - thirty thousand a year. - - "My children, thank God, are all well, although I really - feared my dear Louisa would have died last week, owing to my - extreme folly in having suffered myself to be persuaded into - administering one of Inglish's Scot's pills to the poor baby, out - of sister Paragon's box. All Pandora's box of evils could scarcely - have done more mischief. The child was absolutely convulsed with - pain, while provoking sister Paragon looked on, calmly declaring - that it was the first duty of an aperient, to gripe the patient as - much as possible. - - "Pray write a very long letter soon, and believe me, at all - times, your most affectionate sister, - - "FANNY PARKER." - - - - - -CHAPTER XXX - - -His Grace of Beaufort had passed his word, as to the regular quarterly -payment of an allowance which Worcester stipulated should be paid me if -he left England; yet four months had now elapsed without my having been -able to obtain a single shilling from the duke, or even an answer to my -letters, in which I assured him that all my ready money was gone and -that I was entirely destitute of the means of existence. - -The duke perhaps hoped to starve me into putting up with the first man I -could find; at all events, it was clear I might have starved, or begged, -or thrown myself into the streets, before he would have offered me the -least assistance while he could possibly have avoided it; and, in this -amiable conduct, I take it for granted he was upheld and encouraged by -his most interesting duchess. - -I was now in debt a whole quarter for board and lodging. Never having -once doubted the duke's word of honour, conveyed to me by his man of -business in the presence of his son; and, being so far from London, I -sat down to consider whom I could possibly consult in that part of the -world, as to what was to become of me. - -The only person in my neighbourhood, whose face I had ever seen before, -was an old, cracked sort of a general, his name I have forgotten. I -never had but a mere bowing acquaintance with him, from the circumstance -of his being my next door neighbour in London, where he bore the -character of a terrible deceiver of maids and maid-servants! In short, -I do not believe there was a single girl of that description within two -miles of us, with whom he had not scraped a kind of acquaintance. - -I remember a worthy clergyman who was also my near neighbour, took this -gay Lothario's meddling with his maid very much amiss, and consequently -addressed to him the following note, which he afterwards insisted on my -reading one day when I met him in the Regent's Park, and had been myself -reproaching him with his evil ways. - - "SIR,--I presume that you cannot wish to interfere with the - domestic comforts of your neighbours. I have to request therefore - that you never again to the latest hour of your life, carry your - libertinism to such an extent as to meddle with my maidservant. - - "I remain, Sir, - "Your most obedient servant." - - -The old general's answer was expressed in these words. - - "SIR, Respect for your cloth will prevent my having the - pleasure of blowing out your brains for your impertinence. - - "In answer to your letter, then, I have to inform you, that - I neither want your man-servant, your maid-servant, your ox, your - ass, nor anything that is yours, and remain, - - "Your most obedient servant." - - -"What do you think of this, Samuel?" said the worthy divine to his tall -unlicked cub of a son, in cotton stockings and thick shoes, handing him -the above epistle, after he had perused it three times over in silent -astonishment. - -"Think of it!" said the son, as soon as he had looked it over, "think of -it, sir?" - -"Aye! What may be your serious thoughts of it?" continued the parson. - -"Why, sir,--Why, sir," swelling with rage, "why--sir--d--- his -impudence!" - -"For shame, Samuel, don't swear." - -"Swear, sir? Don't tell me! this ought to make a parson swear." - -Samuel snatched up his hat and ran out of the house. - -In about two hours afterwards, as the old, impudent, Irish, cracked -general was finishing his dinner at his own lodgings, in strutted Mr. -Samuel, foaming with rage. - -"Your most obedient," said the general. - -"Sir," answered Samuel, "I am no parson, therefore no ceremony with me -if you please. I want you to meet me to-morrow morning in Hyde Park at -six; and, do you hear? Bring your second with you; there's my card." - -"Just as you please, Mr. Mr.," and then the comical general read the -card aloud, "Mr. Samuel Michael--just exactly as you please. Won't you -take a glass of wine?" continued the general, looking at him for an -instant, as he filled his own glass. - -"No sir," said Samuel Michael, fiercely, "all I require of you, sir, is -punctuality to-morrow morning." - -"Just as you please," reiterated the general; and Samuel took his leave. - -The next morning, the general ordered his old servant to bring him his -coffee at five o'clock, and, as he was drinking it, with his papers -before him, Samuel Michael again made his appearance. - -"You will be surprised to see me here, general?" said Samuel, in a mild -and tremulous tone. The general bowed--"but," continued Samuel, "but--it -really is not worth while, I mean I think it is not necessary, to fight. -In short, sir, if you require an apology, I am ready to write one down, -if, general, you"--and he paused half breathless with fear. - -"Just as you please, Mr. Samuel Michael--just exactly as you please," -said the general again, as he turned over a parcel of receipts. - -"I may now, then," said Samuel, "conclude this unpleasant business is -amicably settled?" - -"Just exactly as you please, sir," answered the general once more, as he -made some memoranda on the back of his receipt book. - -So much for the old general! And more than he is worth. - -When I saw him first at Charmouth, I cut him dead; but, being now really -anxious to consult some one who knew a little about me, I took the -liberty of nodding to him the next time I met him. - -"Oh, oh, my fair neighbour! I really feared I had been so unfortunate as -to have offended you. How do you do, pray?" - -We then entered into conversation, and as I discovered that he, like -half the rest of the world, had heard all about Worcester and me, I -consulted him as to what was to be done. - -"Don't you know Fisher, the lady-killer of these parts?" he inquired. - -"Heaven forbid!" said I. - -"Why so?" asked the general. "He is a most particularly sharp fellow, -and, being a lawyer who knows who you are and all about you, he is the -very man to consult." - -"But then, I am so afraid of the persons with whom I am living," said I. - -"Be assured," answered the general, "that Fisher will be secret as to -your business. I will tell him you mean to apply to him, and you may -depend upon his honour. I am sure he will put you up to a plan of making -that vile, shabby, selfish Duke of Beaufort treat you better." - -"But why is he called a lady-killer?" - -"He is the beauty of Devonshire. Such black eyes! And six foot high!" -answered the general. - -"The very things I hate in a man, so I am safe, and may consult your Mr. -Fisher, and yet hope to die a natural death after all." - -I took my leave of this comical old man, and, on the very same evening, -addressed the following note to the gay Mr. Fisher of Lyme Regis. - - "Sir,--A friend of yours has, I trust, acquainted you with - my motive for wishing to see you. As the family with which I am - staying is unacquainted with my real situation, I should wish to - consult you without their knowledge, if you will be kind enough to - say how that can be managed. If you will tell me the proper hour in - the morning, I will go to Lyme Regis. - - "I remain, Sir, - "Your most obedient, humble servant, - "H. WILSON." - - -"What sort of a man is Mr. Fisher, the attorney of Lyme Regis?" said I -to Eliza, after I had carried my letter to the post office. - -"Oh, he is a very gay man indeed; a very shocking man, they say: indeed -I have heard that he makes love to several women at the same time, -although he is a married man; but it would be uncharitable of us to -suppose any man so wicked as that." - -I could not help laughing at poor Eliza, who must have been meant for -the golden age. - -The next evening, the little, old post-woman, for whom Eliza and I had -been watching till we were nearly worn out, condescended to bend her -steps, little lanthorn and all, towards our door. Down flew Eliza, -and, this time, presented me with three letters; the post-mark on one -of them was Lyme Regis; so, guessing this to be from Eliza's terrible -man, Mr. Fisher, I put it into my reticule unopened. The other two were -from Meyler and Worcester. I beg his lordship's pardon for putting him -last, it was not certainly done with any intention to offend, but quite -naturally. Meyler, having, tried every other argument to induce me to -leave Charmouth and Lord Worcester, now ventured on a threat! - - "You have a husband, with whom you are, it seems, quite - satisfied; or rather a lover for whom, though you profess not to - be in love, you have made every sacrifice, and for whom, too, you - cheerfully resign me and the income I have offered you, to assist - those methodistical Edmonds in feeding their pigs and chickens! - _Grand bien vous fasse!_ I, too, shall take unto myself a wife, - as the Quaker says, and verily the spirit has moved me towards a - certain fair one, and in sundry places." - -The letter finished with some Melton news, and an account of his having -hurt his right arm, which would prevent his playing at tennis for the -rest of his life. He would rather have lost half his estate, upon his -honour. He was at last chosen for Winchester, after a severe contested -election, which had cost him twenty thousand pounds; but then it was -well worth that sum to be independent. Not that he should be very active -either way. In fact, Lord Bath had been kind enough to point out to him -the best seat in the lower house for taking a nap. Still he should be -miserable, if under the necessity of voting against his own idea of what -was fitting and best. The letter went on in these words. - - "I had no idea, my dearest Harriette, for you are still very - dear to me, although you do use me so ill, I had not the smallest - idea that it was necessary to kiss so many dirty, ugly women, and - drink so much ale, rum and milk, grog, raisin and elder wine, with - porter and cyder, all in one day, otherwise I don't think I would - have gone into Parliament; for I have been sick for a fortnight, - and then, in this wretched state of stomach, one must get up, and - make a speech to one's constituents, full of lies about future - protection, friendship, and God knows what. However, I was really - getting on famously, as I flattered myself, and should have - finished with eclat, had not my eyes encountered that fool, Lord - Apsley, holding his sides in a roar of laughter, and he was joined - by that prince of blockheads, Harry Mildmay, who is also Member - for Winchester. - - "I stopped short, of course, finding it impossible to go on. I - was very drunk to be sure; but still, these fellows had no right to - turn against me in such a mob. As to that ape, Mildmay, I am half - determined to lead a virtuous life on my Hampshire estate, studying - the happiness of my Winchester constituents, on purpose to mortify - him, and cut him out there." - -The letter ended with many tender professions and entreaties that I -would go to him. - -Worcester's letter, of three sheets crossed and recrossed, only -contained matter for four pages, leaving out the dearest darlings! -angel-wives! loveliest, sweetest, adorable, own own, everlastingly to be -worshipped! &c. - - "We are," says Worcester's letter, only my readers must hold - in mind that I am leaving out his lordship's ohs and ahs! "we are - within a stone's throw of the enemy. God only knows whether I shall - be permitted to see you again or not. Your chain is round my neck, - and, as for your picture, I could not press my lips near enough to - your sweet delicious eyes, without taking off the glass; and now, - alas! I have kissed the left eye out, altogether, with your under - lip. I am dreadfully melancholy, but, being so close to the enemy, - pray don't tell anybody. If ever your heart beats against my own, - and I leave you again, may I----" - - But oaths are all nonsense, particularly those of noble - lords, marquises, and dukes; besides, if I were to go on with the - most noble the Marquis of Worcester's letter, I might tumble upon - something indecent. Who knows; we are but mortal, even marquises - and dukes are but mortal. And the weather is so hot in Spain and - Portugal! - - Poor Worcester! Or as your late frail wife used to call you, - poor Worcey! Thou hast turned out a most cold-blooded profligate, - as I am told: but it might not have been thus if we had married. - Our tempers certainly did exactly suit each other; and the love - must ever predominate on one side, or there will be an end of all - stimulus. Two people calling each other darlings, angels, and ducks - cannot last. I liked you for your own happiness, and God knows, I - was most true from the hour I placed myself under your protection - up to the time we parted. Who dares say nay, I say he lieth. Let - him prove it, if he can; for my part, I defy him! - - Poor Worcey! You ought to have seen me provided for, and yet - I can never quite forget how dearly you loved me, when you gave up - all society, endured almost a parent's curse; nay, more, gave up - hunting and offered to support me by driving a mail coach! - - No, young man: never mind what I sometimes write and say. - Upon my honour; upon my soul, to give you expressions out of Lord - Ponsonby's last letter, I do not, and never shall quite forget you. - -The third letter was, as I supposed, from the provincial Adonis, Mr. -Fisher; as follows: - - "MADAM,---Since secrecy is an object with you, I request - you will come to my chambers just after it is dark on Thursday - next, that being the only hour I can command as free from the - interruption of clients; it being my constant habit to refuse - admittance to strangers after day-light, although I do not leave my - chambers till my papers are all arranged for my clerks, who attend - here before eight in the morning. - - "Obediently yours, - "CHARLES FREDERICK FISHER." - - -"What a wretch!" said I to myself, as soon as had read Mr. Fisher's -eloquent epistle. "I meet this dirty Devonshire lawyer after dark -indeed! I wish Worcester was here. If he had really loved me as he -affects to do, he would have died rather than have left me to be thus -insulted by this black, dirty, nasty, six-foot high country attorney! -Meet him at dark! What could one do with such a wretch, either by day -or night, or any kind of light. The monster! To flatter himself for an -instant." - -I hastily opened my writing desk, and addressed the following letter to -Beau Fisher: - - "SIR,--Whether I am, or am not, Lord Worcester's wife, be - assured that he has too much respect for me to permit a country - attorney to insult me by his invitations to meet him in the dark. - You may, of course, do as you please, with regard to the secrecy - I mentioned; but it is my and Lord Worcester's pleasure, that - you never presume to insult me again with your odious and very - humiliating proposals. - - "I remain your most obedient, - "HARRIETTE." - - -After I had put this letter in the post-office the next morning, I -strolled down the sea coast, and again met the old general. He came -skipping towards me in great glee. - -"You are the very person I wanted to see," said he, "I saw Fisher last -night, and he told me he had just answered your note to assure you, that -he should feel happy in being able to render you the slightest service." - -"Pray don't mention Mr. Fisher to me," answered I, with much dignity. - -"Why not?" inquired the general in surprise. - -"Why, he has written me the most insulting letter possible. He desires -me to go to his chambers at dark." - -"Impossible," said the general. - -"How do you mean impossible," I asked? - -"Do you really mean to say that Fisher ever hinted anything like a wish -to be favoured by you?" - -"How do you mean favoured?" - -"May I speak plainly?" - -"I beg you will, general," answered I, impatiently. - -"Do you really believe Fisher wanted to intrigue with you?" - -"You may well be surprised at the wretch's presumption," said I. - -"No," interrupted the general, "Fisher would never surprise me by his -presumption. I know him too well for that: but since you permit me to be -frank, I will tell you what Fisher said of you the other day." - -"Go on." - -"You promise not to be offended?" - -"I never was offended in the whole course of my life with persons for -whom I have no regard, although one sometimes might seem indignant when -vulgar people presume to be too impertinent." - -The general commenced: "Says Fisher to me the other day, just as you -were passing by, 'what in the name of the devil can Lord Worcester see -to admire in that ugly piece of goods? She has not a good point about -her.'" - -"How very funny it will be, if I have mistaken his intentions," said I, -and I burst into a loud laugh. The idea struck me as so perfectly absurd -and comical! - -"Rely upon it you have," said the general, "for, without flattery, I -will take upon me to say upon my word and honour, Fisher thinks you -anything but desirable, even supposing he had not more on his hands than -he can possibly accomplish with any degree of credit to himself." - -I had not been so amused since I left London; and I could not sleep -all night for thinking of my mistake. Worcester had for the last three -years so surfeited me with love and adoration, that, really, a little -indifference was quite refreshing! I was half in love with the good -attorney, and went to sleep at last, while wondering to myself what he -was like. - -At ten in the morning, I opened my eyes, and saw Eliza's pretty, smiling -face, at my bed-side, with a letter in her hand. - -"A man-servant has just brought this letter from Lyme Regis, and waits -to know if you have any answer to send back," said Eliza. - -I was seized with such a violent fit of laughter after the perusal of -Mr. Fisher's letter, that poor Eliza really thought I was mad. It was as -follows: - - "MADAM,--Your misinterpretation of my last note is indeed - truly astonishing! I can only assure you, madam, upon my honour, - that I have not and I never had the slightest wish or intention to - meet you but as a man of business. - - "Your very obedient, humble servant, - "C.F. FISHER." - - -"What can you be laughing at so violently?" Eliza inquired. - -"Oh, you must excuse me," answered I, still laughing. - -"Any answer for the servant?" - -"Oh, yes. Pray ask him to wait a few minutes," said I, addressing -myself to my maid; and I then hastily wrote the following answer to Mr. -Fisher's tender effusion: - - "SIR,--By your letter I have to apprehend that there was no - real cause of alarm! I cannot express my dismay, but must console - myself with the hope and in the belief that you are all a century - behind hand, as to good taste, in this part of the world. - - "I beg to remain, sir, - "Your most obliged, and very - devoted, humble servant, - "HARRIETTE." - - -Having despatched the above, I wrote thus in answer to Meyler's long -letter: - - "DEAR MR. MEYLER,--During more than three weeks, I had not - the honour of receiving a single line from you. At last you wrote - and franked your letter, probably to show me that you were in - Parliament! _Mais, Dieu me pardonne! je crois que tu me menace! - croyez moi, mon ami, ni homme, ni femme, ni enfant, n'ont jamais - rien eu de moi par ce moyen la._ - - "If you have found a woman to your taste, in God's name marry - her. I foster none but willing slaves believe me, and love none - but such as cannot help themselves, but needs must love me. Your - friends, the Beauforts, are treating me very ill, and I am afraid - my good conduct and the strong desire I felt to act generously - towards that family have been entirely lost upon them. However, I - would rather be a dupe occasionally, than suspect all the world - of selfishness and dishonour; for then my life would be a burden - to me; so, come what may, I acted for the best, and according to - the dictates of my conscience, therefore can never be completely - wretched. God bless you, little Meyler. After all, I should not - like you to forget me neither; but you must do as you please you - know. - - "H.W." - - -As I took the thing so good-naturedly, I fancy Mr. Fisher felt a little -ashamed of his late want of gallantry, for he wrote me another letter, -in which he tried hard to soften down the cruelty of his first, styling -himself the fox and the grapes, etc. However it would not do, and, when -I passed him coming out of church, I shook my head at him so slyly, that -the man was dying to laugh out, yet honourable enough to subdue his -inclination, knowing I did not wish to be acknowledged by him. - -I waited another month, in the vain expectation of receiving the -promised allowance from the Duke of Beaufort, and then I wrote to him as -follows: - - "Lord Worcester agreed to go abroad on condition that I was - taken care of, and I promised to remain in England for one year - during which time you pledged yourself to send me a quarterly - allowance, or rather your man of business pledged himself in your - name in the presence of your son. - - "I conceive a conditional engagement to be null and void, when - the conditions are not fulfilled. I therefore propose immediately - joining Lord Worcester in Spain, in case I do not receive a due - remittance from your Grace by return of post. I cannot help adding - that I should be very sorry to act with such want of feeling - towards my greatest enemy, as you have invariably shown towards me, - who have from first to last made every sacrifice in my power for - your peace and happiness. - - "I remain, - "your Grace's most obedient - humble servant, - "H. WILSON." - - - -By return of post I received a very polite answer from the Duke of -Beaufort, enclosing me a quarter's allowance, with some very plausible -excuse: I really forget what it was; but I think he said the delay was -not his fault but Mr. Robinson's. Mere nonsense, of course; since my -frequent applications could not have miscarried, and His Grace never -once condescended to write till I threatened to join Worcester, after -which he was afraid to lose a single post. - -I am now growing tired of Devonshire, and so I hope and trust are my -readers. I propose giving them very little more news from that quarter. -I remained there exactly twelve months, during which time the only two -persons I beheld who had been before known to me were Lord Burghersh, -whose estates are I believe in that part of the world, and who opened -his eyes wide with astonishment at meeting me, and the old general there. - -My dear mother and sister Fanny regularly corresponded with me, and -Meyler was more sanguine than usual, as the year got to a close. He -declared that he had no sort of fancy for anybody on earth but me, nor -ever had since the very beginning of our acquaintance. Worcester also -wrote in high spirits; stating that nothing should detain him in Spain -an hour after the expiration of twelve months. - -At last, oh killing news! Just as I was in the expectation of Worcester -to fly away with me from Charmouth, which was all in his road from -Spain, came a letter--it ought to have been sealed with black wax--to -say that the Prince Regent, rather than Worcester should return to love -and me, was about to oblige the Duke of Beaufort, while he gave the -brave and dandy warriors of the Tenth an opportunity of distinguishing -themselves. To be brief, Worcester's regiment was ordered abroad. Could -he possibly, he wrote, come home at such a moment! But then his own -darling angel, sweet Harriette would come to him! Of this he felt sure, -&c. - -"My dear Eliza, I must go to Spain," said I, as soon as I had finished -this letter. - -The whole house was in tears. "How very kind, yet how unaccountable, -that strangers should feel so much more for us than our own sisters," -thought I. - -Eliza's aunt Martha declared that she would accompany me to Falmouth and -see me sail. "I am old enough, and thank God I am no beauty," said aunt -Martha, "and I may do what I please with my own little fortune. I have -never yet been ten miles from my native place, and I want to see the -world." - -Fresh floods of tears were now forced out for my aunt Martha; however go -she would. - -"The worst of it is," continued aunt Martha, "that my habit is five and -twenty years old, and as to travelling without a habit that is quite -impossible." - -"I think between us all three we can alter it into something smart -and fashionable," said Eliza, and the next hour saw them occupied in -unpicking, cutting, and basting at my aunt Martha's most ample calico -habit. - -I proposed setting off in two days. Much as I dreaded the sea, and hated -the idea of Spain and war, still, anything was better than thus wasting -one's sweetness on the desert air: besides, I was under a sort of -engagement to join Worcester, if Worcester found it impossible to return -to me. "Poor Meyler," thought I, and I will tell my readers a secret, I -would much rather have gone to London. - -I took an affectionate leave of my mother and sister in two very long -letters; but I did not write to Meyler, I wanted him to remain in doubt -as to my having left Charmouth, that he might remember me the longer. - -My aunt Martha's habit was completely modernised in due time, and Mrs. -Edmond and her amiable daughter passed the whole of the last day in -preparing little nice cakes, &c., for our travelling basket, which aunt -Martha was strictly charged not to lose sight of. - -At last we were seated in the Falmouth mail, on a fine clear summer -morning. We travelled all day and all night, and poor aunt Martha was -half dead with fatigue on the following evening, when we were set down -at the first-rate inn at Falmouth. - -We begged the chamber-maid to conduct us immediately to a good -two-bedded room. - -"Oh, ladies," announced the woman pertly, "you must take what you can -get; for we are so full, that I don't know where on earth to put half -of you, owing to the wind having been so directly contrary for more -than three weeks. Thus ships are every day coming in, while all the -passengers for Spain have been waiting at Falmouth these three weeks, -and we have got a consul, or ambassador, or something great of that -kind, who has occupied all our best rooms for the last fortnight, with -his secretaries and black footmen, and all the rest of it." - -"Had we not better try another inn?" said I to my aunt Martha. - -But she declared herself so very ill and fatigued, having never -travelled before, that she could not move. - -"And if you could," said the chamber-maid, "you would only fare the -worse for your pains, since there is scarcely a bed to be found in all -Falmouth." - -"Well, what can you do for us?" I inquired despairingly, for I was both -tired and spiritless. - -"Why, as luck would have it, a gentleman as was going to Spain is just -gone off by the London mail, because he had no more patience to wait -here for change of weather, and his room has got two little beds in it; -but it is up in the garret." - -"Never mind," said poor aunt Martha; and we were soon settled for -the night in a very comfortless-looking room, far away from either -chamber-maids or waiters, and nothing like a bell was to be discovered. - -For the three first days of our inhabiting this garret, we really -ran the risk of being starved, as it was impossible to procure any -attendance. True, in scampering about the house to search for bread, -tea, or butter, our noses were regaled by the excellent ragouts, as the -consul's black servants were carrying them to their master's table. - -"What a shame it is," said aunt Martha, "that a man is to be enjoying -himself in this manner, with fiddles and ragouts, while two poor women -in the same inn, are stuck up in a garret and left there to starve." - -The captain of the vessel I proposed going out by, and to whom I paid -on my arrival five and twenty guineas for my berth, was a peculiarly -amiable man, and he was kind enough to invite us to dine with his wife. - -We were very anxious to look about us a little; but aunt Martha had been -told that Falmouth was such a wicked town that, for four days, we had -kept our room. - -The fifth, finding it impossible to procure any single thing to eat, -good or bad, owing to the arrival of another vessel from the Peninsula, -we were absolutely forced out of our delicate alarms, and resolved to go -out and purchase a cold tongue and some biscuits. However, we first took -a long country walk, and enjoyed such magnificent scenery as astonished -even my aunt Martha, who declared that there was a boldness and grandeur -about the views in Cornwall, which far exceeded anything she had seen in -Devonshire. - -As we entered the inn after filling our reticules with eatables, we -stepped back while the consul or ambassador, I forget which, who ate up -all our dinner and was the chief cause of such a terrible famine in the -inn, stepped into his gay carriage. I thought I had seen his face, but -I really could not recollect where. He appeared to recognise me too, by -the manner he looked at me. We mounted up into our dismal room very much -out of spirits, having ascertained that the wind was exactly in the same -unlucky quarter. - -The next day, the chamber-maid brought me a polite note from the consul -to request the favour of our company to dinner, as often as we could -make it convenient, _sans ceremonie_. He had often had the pleasure of -seeing me in London, or he should not have taken the liberty, which he -had the less scruple in doing having been led to understand we were so -very badly attended on. - -"Well! this is something like!" said my aunt Martha, bridling; for I -forgot to inform my readers that my aunt Martha was still on the right -side of fifty, and, though her countenance had never, even in her -youngest days, possessed any other attraction than an expression of -extreme good-nature and animation, still that was something, and then -her habit, which was composed of curiously fine cloth, had now been -altered into as becoming a form as possible. On the whole, my aunt -Martha, while she admitted I must have been the principal attraction, -really did hope she had stood for something in this invitation. In -short, she was in such high spirits that, in the warmth of her heart, -she insisted on offering the contents of our reticules to my _femme de -chambre._ - -"How I regret not having seen something of life a little sooner," -said aunt Martha, as she stood before the glass settling her ruff. "I -presume we shall meet those two secretaries at dinner to-day. One of -them was remarkably handsome, I thought. Of course, they will excuse -our travelling dresses. They must know your trunks are all on board. -I should like, notwithstanding, to purchase a small red rose for this -cap: it would set it off, and look somewhat more dressy for the evening, -you know. As for you, they will be in love with you any how. That's the -advantage of being handsome. No matter then what one wears." - -The consul's servant now entered the room in a gay livery, with his -master's compliments, and a request to know if he was to expect the -honour of our company at dinner. - -"You will present our compliments, and say we propose doing ourselves -that pleasure," I answered, and the servant left the room. - -"The honour of our company," repeated aunt Martha, in a kind of ecstasy. -"How very polite and condescending is this consul!" - -"It is a pity he is so carroty. I thought he resembled Lord Yarmouth -very much," said I. "I only hope he may turn out half as pleasant, and -then I will forgive his carroty hair." - -Aunt Martha was so long settling the form of her lace cap, that the -consul and his two secretaries were waiting dinner for us when we -entered the room. He politely introduced the young gentlemen to us. -The name of the handsomest was Brown; I have forgotten the other. I -whispered to the consul, at the very first opportunity, that my friend -was unacquainted with my situation or the name of Lord Worcester, -believing me to be an officer's wife of the name of Wilson, and he -promised to be discreet. He was a very pleasing man, of about forty-five -or fifty, and, being really under such obligation to him for his great -politeness, I am particularly sorry that I cannot recollect his name. I -hope, if ever he condescends to read my memoirs, that he will, through -this medium, accept my thanks, and the assurance that I have not, -with his name, forgotten his friendly hospitality towards us two poor -unfortunate ladies. - -The dinner was served up in the very best style of elegance. What a -contrast to our scanty fare in our garret! After dinner, the young -men proposed going to the play, since Mathews was engaged there for -a few nights. The consul, however, declared we must excuse him; but -good-naturedly requested the secretaries to chaperon us there, promising -to have a good supper for us on our return. - -Accordingly, after our coffee, we were off in the consul's carriage -to the play, where we were joined by the captain of the vessel, who -brought me and my aunt Martha an invitation to a party for the following -evening. The consul and secretaries were already invited. - -"Oh, if I had but slipped my new purple silk dress into my portmanteau," -whispered aunt Martha. - -"Can we really be admitted in riding habits?" I inquired. - -"Certainly," said the captain. "Almost the whole of the party are -composed of travellers, whose luggage is on board, and I have been -commissioned to invite whoever I conceive most amiable; and of course I -began here," he continued, politely bowing to us all. - -"Is it to be a state party?" I inquired. - -"I am afraid so," said the captain; "for we do not sit down to supper -till past two in the morning." - -"We shall kill you," said I, turning to my aunt Martha. - -"Oh dear no!" answered the good-natured woman; "I have experienced so -much kindness from every stranger at Falmouth, that gratitude will -keep me broad awake." Aunt Martha was indeed a general favourite with -young people; because she ever entered into all their little cares and -vexations with so much heart, and a real desire to advise what was best -and most pleasant for them. Then a dozen English people meeting at -Falmouth, when they are just about to separate and go, some of them, -they know not to whom, naturally threw off all restraint, and made them -appear to each other in the light of brothers and sisters. - -We found an excellent supper ready, and the good consul was himself -making us some punch, in case we should happen to be tired of champagne -and claret. After supper we had a waltz. Mr. Brown kindly undertook to -give my aunt Martha her first lesson, which created much merriment. It -was nearly three o'clock before we got to bed, and in this manner we -kept it up for almost three weeks, dining regularly, when not otherwise -engaged, at the consul's table. - -Every evening we went either to a play or a party, and the mornings we -passed on board, or walking, or riding about. My health was scarcely -ever so good as during the time I spent at Falmouth, nor do I recollect -ever to have been thrown into society where there was so much vivacity -and wit and no trouble in dressing for it. - -I had been an unusual length of time without letters from Lord -Worcester, and, as I could not doubt their being immediately forwarded -to me by Mrs. Edmond, if any had arrived at Charmouth, I grew uneasy; -and, having learned by accident, that a young officer who had just -arrived from headquarters was in the house, I requested in a note that -he would allow me to ask him a few questions. He came to me instantly, -and in answer to my various inquiries about Worcester, with whom he said -he was not personally acquainted, he hinted something of a story, that -Mrs. Archdeacon, the sister of the paymaster's second wife, who formerly -made such an attack on Worcester's virtue at Brighton, and who was -living with her husband at Lisbon, had been run away with by the Marquis -of Worcester. - -"Are you certain of this?" I inquired, without, I confess, much -agitation. - -"He was not," he said; "but it was a fact that Mrs. Archdeacon had left -her husband, and gone up to the army with somebody; though, as she -arrived there just as he had left headquarters on his way to England, he -could not take upon himself to say that she was with Lord Worcester. He -knew that the Marquis, when he last came down to Lisbon, had been in the -habit of dining with Mr. Archdeacon and his wife." - -"This fool!" thought I, "after tormenting his parents, and keeping me -here lest he should die!--after refusing the prayers of his father, -whose very life seemed to depend on his leaving me, suddenly takes -another woman away, notwithstanding his last letter was so full of -solemn vows of everlasting constancy as any he ever wrote. What -steadiness could I expect from such an ass as Worcester? I'll go to -London: that's settled! Life is short, and I have been quite patient -enough. I don't care one straw about money; but I must have something -like enjoyment, of some sort, before I die." Another story decided me. -I heard, two days after my interview with the officer, it was whispered -about Lisbon, that, supposing Harriette Wilson made an attempt to join -Lord Worcester, the English Ambassador had the power to get her put on -an American ship and sent to America! - -All this might, or might not, be true; but certainly I was not disposed -to try it. Then came more stories, from different quarters, concerning -Worcester and Mrs. Archdeacon. "They cannot be wholly false," thought -I, "or he would write." In fact there was one person, who had no sort -of interest in deceiving me, and he acquainted the consul that Mrs. -Archdeacon certainly did go up to the army to join Lord Worcester, and -that she was then actually staying with him. - -"I have received letters which require my instant presence in London," -said I to my aunt Martha, at which, though she expressed the greatest -surprise, still she was delighted, as I did not mean to leave England. -The captain returned me half my five and twenty guineas, and after -taking our leave of our kind friends, who expressed sincere regret at -the loss of our society, I took my place for the next day in the mail, -not for Charmouth but London. - -It was a tremendously long journey; but I was tired of the country, -tired of suspense, disgusted with the whole set of Beauforts, and dying -to be refreshed once more by the sight of Meyler's bright expressive -countenance. - -The mail stopped a short time at Charmouth, where I left my aunt Martha, -took a most affectionate leave of the whole family, and late the next -night I arrived at my sister Fanny's house in London. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXI - - -Meyler was in the country, unacquainted with my arrival. Fanny declared -it would be absolute madness, not to make the Duke do something for me -before I wrote to Meyler, and, in short, absolutely teased me day and -night till I wrote to His Grace, to say that I was now ready to put -myself under the protection of Mr. Meyler, as soon as he should have -provided for me according to his first proposal of giving me L500 a -year. The Duke wrote declaring that he had never offered so much. I had -the proposal of that sum from His Grace's man of business. "I now offer -you L300," continued the Duke in his letter; "more than that I must -decline." - -It was not in my nature to stick out for money, so I agreed to the L300, -and the Duke set his attorney to work to draw up the papers. - -In the meantime, when I least expected it, came two large parcels from -Worcester. He had not seduced Mrs. Archdeacon, for Mrs. Archdeacon had -followed him up to the army whether he would or not, and he had sent her -back immediately, and wished her dead for her disgusting assurance: and -he adored me &c. &c. as usual. - -I then wrote to the Duke of Beaufort, to say that I could not -immediately put myself under the protection of Mr. Meyler owing to -circumstances having changed; therefore he must not get the annuity made -out under that idea. Soon after this, the Duke heard of Mrs. Archdeacon -and, believing his son had forgotten me, kindly wrote me word he would -now do nothing for me, and I might starve if I did not like to live -with another man. - -I could no longer endure the Duke's excessive selfishness calmly, and -therefore assured him that I had still many letters with promises of -marriage from Lord Worcester, written since those I had delivered up to -him, trusting to the frail reeds, his generosity and honour, all which -were at that time in my possession. - -The Duke now wrote me a most insulting and impertinent letter, declaring -that, if I was humble and civil he had no objection to give me a small -sum for my letters; but recommended me to be moderate in my demand, -otherwise he should not think them worth attending to or taking any -notice of. This time the Duke had the honour of putting me in a passion, -and I consequently wrote to this effect. - - "Your Grace must excuse my flattering, with civility, you - whose conduct has been so invariably selfish, mean and artful - towards me, as to have at last inspired me with perfect contempt. - Having your promise of L300, provided I fulfil certain conditions, - without one bit of the civil humility you recommend, I beg to - acquaint you that if the annuity is not made out directly, I will - publish the promise of marriage, and put an execution into your - house for the annuity." - -This letter had the desired effect, and the annuity was made out -immediately, although I forget what excuse the Duke offered to me for -reducing it to two hundred a year, or why I consented to the reduction. -This last annuity was drawn out with a condition that I should never -once write to Lord Worcester, nor hold any kind of communication with -him. Mr. Treslove of Lincoln's Inn advised me not to accept a restricted -annuity; but I declared I could not but fancy myself safe, since -Worcester, of course, in case he should be the cause of my losing this, -possessed too good a heart to suffer me to be unprovided for: so the -thing was witnessed and signed, and I gave up all the letters once more -to His Grace of Beaufort, who, having written to acquaint his son of -what he had done for me, and on what conditions, Lord Worcester wrote a -parcel of very pathetic letters to my sister Fanny: he wished me happy: -he knew well that he should never be allowed to see me again: he did not -think I could have agreed never to write or speak to him again: he had -heard that I was with Mr. Meyler; but, even in that case, he could not -fancy my having cut him. - -Three or four letters came to Fanny in the same style. At last he wrote -to me: it was impossible to resist addressing me, cruelly as I had left -him, &c. &c. &c. &c. - -"So it is, very mercenary, cruel, and unnatural," said I to Fanny, after -having finished his lordship's letter to me: "in short, were he to be -killed abroad I should never enjoy another hour's rest:" and in spite of -all they could say or do to prevent me, I wrote to tell Worcester, that -I trusted to God and to his good heart, for seeing that I was somehow -provided for; but that nothing should again induce me to cut him, while -I had any reason to believe him still fond of me and unhappy for my sake. - -Soon after I had despatched this letter, the first half-year of the -allowance becoming due, I received L100 from the Duke of Beaufort's -attorney, and in less than a month afterwards the same attorney applied -to me for the L100 back again. - -"What do you mean, pray?" I asked. - -"Why," answered the attorney, "Lord Worcester has acquainted his father -that you have written to him, and therefore, since you are not entitled -to that L100, the Duke insists on its being returned." - -"Upon your honour does the Duke really wish to take from me the means of -existence, even if I effectually and for ever separate myself from his -son?" - -"Of course," answered the attorney. - -"And the Duke of Beaufort wishes to see the woman, who, but for her -generosity and feeling towards his family, had long since been his -daughter, thrown on the wide world without a shilling?" - -"He certainly is very angry with me for having paid you the L100, which -I must lose out of my own pocket if you do not return it, since His -Grace, being no longer obliged to do anything, will never give you -twenty pounds as long as he lives." - -"Not if I continue separated from Worcester?" - -"Certainly, not even then. The fact is, His Grace believes that his son -has left you altogether." - -"What then is to become of me?" - -"That is a matter of perfect indifference to His Grace and also to me. I -only want to know if you mean to oblige me to obtain the hundred pounds -back again by law." - -I rang the bell. - -"Show this man downstairs," said I, and I retired to my dressing-room. - -Strange as it may appear, I was not in any respect put out of spirits at -the idea of having lost L200 a year, and I do not believe I should at -that time have eaten less dinner than usual, if I had lost L200 again: -so little did I care for money, or anything money could buy, beyond -clean linen and bread and milk; but I was deeply hurt to think that, do -what I would to deserve it, no one would like me: and there was nothing -on earth, half so desirable, half so consoling to me, as the esteem and -steady friendship of others. For this I had left the gay world, and -buried myself in a village. It was to ensure the esteem of the Beauforts -that I refused to become one of them, and certainly, as I told the Duke -when he called on me, Dowager Duchess sounds better than Dowager Dolly. -Alas! no one cared for me! In a very desponding temper, I sat down, and -wrote to Meyler as follows: - - "It is long, very long, since I heard from you, and, like - the rest of the world, I take it for granted you have forgotten - me, else I had been yours, and yours only, as long as you were - disposed to protect me. I always liked you; but twice the love - I ever felt towards you would not have made me act unfeelingly - towards anybody breathing, while I knew or fancied they deserved my - gratitude. The reward for this steadiness in what I believed was - right is that all have forsaken me: even Lord Worcester has turned - against me, and written me romantic professions latterly in cold - blood, on purpose, as it seems, to betray me by the goodness of my - heart, with sending him an answer which, by law, would deprive me - of the small annuity which had been granted for my future existence. - - "The money is nothing!--I never cared about money: but all - this harsh treatment wounds me more than I can describe to you. And - you too have forgotten me, _n'est ce pas?_ If you have not, I hope - you will tell me so by return of post. In the meantime, God bless - you, dear Meyler. - - "HARRIETTE WILSON." - - -By the earliest post Meyler wrote me a letter, the style of which was -unusually romantic. He should be in town on the same day I received his -answer. He had believed me in Spain, and had relinquished all hopes of -me for ever. He had won a considerable wager by my dear, kind letter; -but was too happy to enrich himself at any man's expense, therefore -refused to accept a guinea of it. - - "I don't think," Meyler went on, "I don't believe you would - again say I am cold, if you could read my heart at this moment, and - understand how deeply impressed I feel with gratitude towards my - beloved Harriette. Never mind Worcester's annuity, for you and I - will never part. - - "I would not marry any woman on earth, and I am sure I shall - never entertain so high an opinion of another as I have had good - reason to encourage towards you: so yours, beloved Harriette, for - ever and ever: full of happiness and haste to follow this letter, - yours most devotedly affectionate, - - "RICHARD WILLIAM MEYLER." - - -It is not my intention to dwell on Meyler's love or Meyler's raptures, -since such subjects in prose are very prosy. Meyler struck me as having -grown much more handsome than when we last parted; but this might be -only my own fancy, having seen nothing like a beauty, except Beau -Fisher, during the last twelve months. - -We hired a very excellent house in the New Road, close to Gloucester -Place, and, for the first fortnight, we were both in love, and did not -quarrel; but, alas! in rather less than three weeks I discovered that -Meyler, the lively Meyler, was one of the worst-tempered men in all -England! This was very hard upon one, who, like myself, had been spoiled -and indulged by a man, who was ever a slave to my slightest caprices! -I cannot describe Meyler's temper, for I never met with anything in -the way of temper at all to be compared to his. It was a sort of a -periodical temper; and, when he had passed a whole day in sweet soft -conversation, I was perfectly sure that a storm was at hand for the next -day, and _vice versa._ - -I must confess, however, that I was sometimes a very tyrant towards -Meyler; and yet, I know my temper is naturally good; but my feelings -towards Meyler were all made up of passion. I neither esteemed nor -trusted him; and yet I was never so jealous of any other man. There -was, in fact, an expression in Meyler's countenance of such voluptuous -beauty, that it was impossible for any woman to converse with him in -cold blood after he had dined. One night, as he sat in the Duchess -of Beaufort's box, I left my own and sent in the box-keeper on the -Duchess's side of the house, to request he would come out and speak to a -person in the passage. He immediately obeyed my summons. - -"Meyler," said I, in a hurried tone of voice, "if you return, even for -an instant, to the Duchess of Beaufort's box, we part this night and for -ever. I cannot endure it." - -"Then I will stay with you all the evening," said Meyler, flattered -rather than angry with me, for such jealousy, as he knew, I had never -felt towards Lord Worcester. - -"Why will you agitate yourself for nothing?" said Meyler, when we got -home, this being his good-tempered night. - -"You know you did once love the Duchess of Beaufort," I replied. - -"Never," said Meyler. "Worcester and I, you know, were at Christ Church -together," he continued, "and, one day, when I was too young to have -ever compassed an intrigue, in any higher line than what boys usually -find in the streets of Oxford, he presented me to his mother, who, you -know, is a very fine woman of her age: this you will the more readily -admit, because there is certainly a very striking resemblance in your -picture. No woman in fine clothes would have come amiss to me at -that time; and I certainly felt a strong desire for the Duchess; but -without entertaining the shadow of a hope, notwithstanding she always -distinguished me with unusual attention, as you have heard from others -as well as from myself; till, one night, when I was staying at Badminton -in the absence of the Duke, I happened to say that the cold had affected -my lips and made them sore. It was as late as twelve o'clock. Her Grace -desired me to accompany her to her dressing-room, that she might give -me some cold cream. When I entered, her night-clothes were hanging to -air near the fire. We were alone. I hesitated. In another instant I -might have ventured to take this midnight invitation as a hint; but, -unluckily, my Lady Harrowby, who probably suspected something improper, -entered the room like our evil genius." - -Meyler has repeated this story to so many people besides myself, Napier -and Sir Harry Mildmay, that it will be folly to affect a denial of it. -Meyler's greatest enemy never accused him yet of uttering an untruth. - -Meyler led me but an unhappy life during the first year of our living -together. His jealousy was downright selfishness; for he would be -jealous of my pianoforte, if that instrument amused me. He was in fact -always jealous, unless I was counting the minutes of his absence. If I -procured a private box to witness a play, _tete-a-tete_ with my sister -Fanny, he would send a note by his coachman to this effect: - - "DEAREST HARRIETTE,--I send a carriage to convey you to the - play, to prove my wish to put no restraint on your wishes; but if - for my sake you would stay at home, I should feel both grateful and - happy, and will return to you as soon as possible." - -He often left me to pass a week with the Beauforts at Badminton, and -this never failed to render me completely wretched. - -"My God," said Meyler, one day, striking his head violently with his -hand, "what am I to do? I would rather blow my brains out than be thus -the slave of any woman. Mine is not the passion of a day, or a year. I -shall never cease to love you; but I must enjoy a little liberty." - -I was much struck with what Meyler said. "This sort of affection may be -more lasting than Worcester's late unnatural rapture, which went off all -at once," thought I to myself, "and Meyler is so rich, so very, very -beautiful, and it would be so shocking to lose him altogether. I will -therefore put up with him, in his own way, as long as I have reason to -believe him constant to me. I ought to be grateful, since I know that -half the women in London would fain tempt him to forget me." - -The next day Meyler agreed to dine with me and set off after dinner to -Badminton. He came, I know, in fear and trembling, for he expected me -to fret, and shed tears as usual at the idea or his going to Badminton. -So far from it, I played him all his favourite airs on the pianoforte, -gave him an excellent dinner, and drank my proper allowance of champagne -with spirit; hoped he might pass a pleasant week at Badminton, and, -feeling full confidence in his affection, should make himself happy with -my books and music till he returned. - -"What is the matter?" I asked, suddenly observing that he could neither -eat nor drink. He only sighed. - -"Do, my pretty little Meyler, tell me what you would be at?" - -"It would be impossible for you to keep up such delightful spirits, -knowing I am about to visit a fine woman, if you loved me," said Meyler, -despondingly. - -"Oh nonsense!" I exclaimed, "you have assured me you never mean to -leave me, and I believe you, because you never yet told me a lie; and a -jealous woman is the most disgusting animal imaginable you know; so let -us enjoy time present, since you are so soon to leave me." - -"I see you are delighted to get rid of me," said Meyler, "and I -could never love, nor believe in the love of any woman, who was not -madly jealous of me. I see your affection, and therefore I hate you, -Harriette: so, in order to punish you, I will not go to Badminton at -all." - -"Bravo! You'll stay then with me?" said I, kissing him. "Indeed, indeed, -I but acted with indifference from dread of disgusting you; but now, -since you will stay, I am so very very happy." - -Meyler, being satisfied that it would make me miserable, set off for -Badminton early the next morning. In the evening I went to my sister -Amy's where, among many others, I met Lord Hertford. - -"Is it possible, think you," I inquired of his lordship, "is it possible -to pass one's life with a man of bad temper?" - -"Better live on a bone," answered his lordship, with his mouth full of -cold partridge. - -"What do you know about living on a bone?" I asked, laughing at him. - -"Oh pray make up your mind at once, to leave that vile, ill-tempered -Meyler," said Fanny; "for his jealousy is really mere selfishness, and -though he goes to balls and parties every night of his life, and does -not return till five or six in the morning, he never fails to call here -for Harriette in ten minutes after she is set down, declaring he is -miserable till he knows her to be safe in bed, and there he leaves her." - -"Cut him, cut him, by all means," said everybody at once, and then they -talked of Worcester. Fanny had received a letter from him on that very -day. - -"I understand that Harriette and Meyler are living in a house we once -inhabited together," said his lordship's letter. "Do pray tell her from -me I wish her joy of her philosophy; but I do not profess any such -feelings. I never could inhabit that house, at all events, with any -other woman." - -This letter would have affected me some time before; but I was now sick -and disgusted with the Beauforts and all their proceedings; neither -could I reconcile to myself the idea of Worcester having made his father -acquainted with the letter he induced me to write; and so lost me my -annuity. - -Lord Hertford wanted to set me down; but I positively refused. "Well -then," whispered his lordship, "you really must pay me a visit at my -little private door in Park Lane. You say you are going to the play -to-morrow night, and you know you can rely on my discretion. The King -dines with me; but His Majesty will leave me before the play is over, -and I will open the door for you myself after my people are gone to bed, -and you shall find everything ready and comfortable." - -"You may then depend on seeing me," said I, and I took my leave. - -The next evening Fanny, Julia, and I, were all seated in a private box -at Covent Garden by seven o'clock, accompanied by two friends of theirs -whose names I have forgotten; and we were, I think, afterwards visited -at the Theatre by Lord Rivers. - -"Are you hungry?" said I to Julia, just as the curtain dropped. - -"Very," they both answered in a breath, and Fanny declared that nothing -made her so hungry as sitting out a long play, after hurrying to it -before one has half finished one's dinner. I said that we now lived -in the age of fairies, and that a good-natured one would this night -tap some door with her wand and it should fly open and disclose a -magnificent repast, served out on gold and silver, and composed of every -delicacy which could possibly be imagined. - -"What is the use of putting one in mind of all these good things," said -Fanny, "when, for my part, I shall think myself happy if my maid has -saved us a bone of mutton, or even half a pint of porter these hard -times?" - -"Now what would you say if I had discovered a fairy, witch, or magician, -who would this very night do all I have named for us?" - -They were a long while before they would listen to me; but from my -earnestness they at last really began to think I had hit upon some odd -plan of giving them a fine supper, and promised to be led by me. Both -of them had once been shown Lord Hertford's private apartments, some -years back, from Seamore Place; but they had never seen the little -private entrance out of Park Lane, and had nearly forgotten the whole -together. We were set down by my desire at some short distance from Lord -Hertford's little private door, and it was such a very dark night I was -obliged to feel my way to it. - -"Where on earth are you taking us to?" said Julia in alarm. "Here are no -houses, and this place is really dangerous. For God's sake let us return -to the carriage directly." - -"Pray don't be alarmed, and, in half a minute, you shall see what the -good fairy has provided for us." - -Having arrived at the little low door, which resembles that of a cellar, -I tapped gently three times, and the door was immediately opened by Lord -Hertford, who was absolutely struck almost dumb, at observing that he -had three fair ladies to entertain instead of one. He just looked - - How happy could I be with either - Were t'other dear charmers away. - -However, though of course he was disappointed, he was too well-bred to -complain; and therefore turned the whole affair into a joke, saying he -cut a comical figure, coming downstairs thus slyly with his miniature -key, to let in a whole party. - -The little winding staircase, covered with red cloth, conducted us to -his beautiful apartments, where a magnificent supper was laid just in -the fairy style I had described. Everybody was agreeably surprised -except his lordship, who fully expected to have passed the evening -_tete-a-tete_ with me. Nevertheless, I must say, he contrived to -support this terrible disappointment with infinite good-humour, and we -returned at three in the morning delighted with our English night's -entertainment, in which we partook the feast of conviviality as well as -of reason, and the flow of wine as well as of soul. - -Meyler returned to town in less time than he had named, because some man -had laughed at the idea of my being constant. He soon began to quarrel -again as usual. At the Opera he was offended if I stood in the room with -my sisters. "I will retire before the curtain drops, if you accompany -me," I used to say; but Meyler had fifty people to chat with in the -round-room. He was a particular friend of Sir Harry Mildmay. Both were -Hampshire men, and members of the same county; and the gay Sir Harry had -ever a mind for all his friend's wives or mistresses, ugly or handsome: -he was therefore continually setting us by the ears; merely because I -was among the few who had refused him. - -"Meyler," he would say, after having seen him standing near me in the -room at the Opera, "Meyler, why the deuce do you stand there with -Harriette Wilson every night like a frightful shepherd, to be laughed -at? Why don't you take to intriguing with women of fashion? Do you know -man, that you are by no means an ugly fellow?" - -"I never thought I was anything like an ugly fellow, Sir Harry," -answered Meyler, speaking slowly. - -On another opera night, as I was waiting at the top of the stairs with -my sister Fanny for Meyler to take me home, Sir Harry came flying up to -me in affected surprise,--"Why I thought it was your ghost!" - -"How so?" - -"I really imagined that it was you, who went out just now with Meyler!" - -"Is Meyler really gone without me, then?" - -"I have this instant seen him hand a lady into his carriage, and step in -after her," answered the Baronet. - -I felt myself reddening with indignation. It rained fast. Fanny and -Julia were going in Mr. Napier's chariot quite a different road, and -there was no room to spare for me, and not a soul left in the room -except Lady Heathcote and her party, and Amy, who was watching men at a -distance, with a host of beaux. - -"My carriage is much at your service," said Sir Harry Mildmay, "and I -shall be very happy to put you down at your own door." - -"What, has Meyler gone off and left you here by yourself," said Amy, -joining us, and speaking loud enough for Lady Heathcote to hear. Her -ladyship looked as if she was much amused with the whole occurrence. -I have a terribly proud spirit of my own, and greatly as I disliked -the idea of seeming to encourage Sir Harry Mildmay, the temptation was -now irresistible; so putting my arm under his and skipping gaily past -Doctor Bankhead's dear friend, Lady Heathcote, I said I would forgive -Meyler for cutting me as often as he was disposed to send me such a very -amiable substitute. It was a dark night, and Mildmay's coachman drove -like mad. Judge my surprise, on finding myself set down at Sir Harry's -house in Brook Street, when I thought I was in the New Road. Sir Harry -took hold of my hand as I stood on his steps, and laughingly tried to -pull me into his house. - -"Really, Sir Harry, this is too absurd!--eloping with me, as though -I were an innocent fool, who could be led to do any one thing which -clashes with my humour." - -Sir Harry, at last finding it impossible either by joke or earnestness -to induce me to enter his house, begged I would get into his carriage to -be carried to my own house. - -"No," said I. "No power on earth shall induce me, to enter your carriage -again." - -My anger towards Meyler for his supposed neglect, having now cooled, I -was beginning to be very unhappy about him, and very much out of humour -with Sir Harry. - -"I will walk home," I said, "or at least, walk till I can find a coach, -and I insist on your leaving me this instant." - -"That, my sweet Harriette, is quite impossible; and, since you are so -obstinate as to insist on risking to catch your death of cold by walking -home without a bonnet, I must accompany you." - -"It is quite fine again now," answered I, and on I set accompanied by -Sir Harry, having first fastened my shawl over my head. - -My house in the New Road had a garden before it. I felt dreadfully -afraid of finding Meyler there; and I almost wished Mildmay to remain -at hand to protect me, in case he should grow violent before I could -convince him of my innocence. - -"If Meyler is not there, I will come in," said Sir Harry. - -I was really astonished at his assurance. "What do you think Meyler -would say, if he found you in his house?" I inquired. - -"Oh! hang Meyler! we would lock him out." - -I could not refrain from laughing at Mildmay's excessive impudence. - -"Is Mr. Meyler in the house?" I tremulously asked of the servant, who -was coming down the garden to open the gate for us. The maid told me -that Mr. Meyler had been there half an hour ago, and appeared much -agitated when they informed him I was not returned from the Opera House. - -"Where did he direct his coachman to drive to?" - -"I think to Mrs. Sydenham's, ma'am," was the reply. - -I saw that Mildmay was determined to enter the house with me; and, -dreading the consequences of such a very mad action, I desired the -servant to shut us out, since I should go and look for Mr. Meyler. - -"Don't, don't," said Mildmay; but I insisted, and the street-door was -closed upon us. We stood in the garden; and then for near a quarter of -an hour I begged, entreated, and implored Mildmay to leave me, but in -vain. Every instant I expected the return of Meyler: yet, frightened -and agitated as I was, under the impression that I had thoughtlessly -committed an imprudence for which I was likely to pay very dear, Sir -Harry had no mercy on me. - -At last, as good luck would have it, two drunken men observed us among -the trees as they passed the house. It being rather moonlight, and not -dreaming that the owner of it would be standing there at two o'clock in -the morning with a gay man in silk stockings, they naturally concluded -me to be some poor creature he had met with in the streets; so, knocking -with their sticks between the iron railings of the gate, they bawled -out, "I'll trouble you, sir, for ground-rent, if you please." - -"Ground-rent! ground-rent! D--n your impudence," said Sir Harry, running -after them; and I immediately knocked till my servant opened the door, -when I bolted into the passage and safely barred out the gay baronet. - -In about another half-hour, Meyler's carriage drove up to my door. I was -in a dreadful fright; for the provoking Mildmay had confessed to me at -last that he had not seen Meyler go out; but, on the contrary, he had -left him in the upper room talking to Lord Palmerston. It was past three -o'clock in the morning. I knew him to be very passionate. "He will kill -me, of course," said I to myself, as he entered the room. Judge what -was my surprise when Meyler, pale and trembling, took hold of my hands, -kissed them, and then fixed his very expressive, inquiring eyes on my -face. - -"You will not deceive me," said he; "of this I am quite certain." - -I immediately declared upon my word I had nothing to conceal having done -nothing wrong. - -Meyler was in raptures. - -"When I came into the room to look for you, with the intention of -bringing you home," said Meyler, "the first person I saw was Lady -Heathcote; and I could not help thinking she looked very oddly at me, -as if she had been inclined to laugh at something; and then I missed -you from amongst your sisters. Having, upon inquiry, been told by Amy -that Mildmay had taken you away in his own carriage, I asked for Julia -and Fanny; but they were gone with Napier; and to Julia's house I drove -immediately. They knew nothing of you; and Napier laughed so at my -evident agitation, and would have made such fun of me all over the town, -that my fear of the world, for which you always scold me so much, made -me put the most violent restraint upon myself, to endeavour to conceal -my anxiety by remaining quietly where I was for a quarter of an hour. -However, they saw through it all; and I left them to call at your sister -Amy's house. Amy said everything she possibly could to make me believe -you were with Mildmay. I left her in disgust; and determined to come -here once more before I called on Sir Harry." - -I then told Meyler by what falsehoods Mildmay had induced me to accept -his protection. - -"I shall never be the least angry with Sir Harry, as long as you -steadily refuse him," said Meyler; "because I have, for some time, -wanted such a story to laugh at him about; because he has so many -against me, and by which he takes upon himself to amuse the females of -my acquaintance." - -This accident roused the little indolent Meyler to pay me unusual -attention for the next several weeks. _Ainsi va le monde!_ - -One morning, when I called on him at his house in Grosvenor Square, I -found him reclined on his _chaise longue_, in a very pensive attitude. -On a table before him was a most unbecoming military cap, which appeared -to belong to the militia, or might have been worn, for aught I knew, by -the hero of some corps of volunteers. - -"What is the matter, Meyler? and why is that frightful cap stuck up -before you?" - -"Ah!" said Meyler, with his usual slight, but sentimental sigh, -"frightful indeed! And fancy a little, quiet, country gentleman like -myself, sticking such a thing as that on his head!" - -"What necessity can there possibly be for disfiguring yourself so?" - -"Why, you see, I am obliged to be captain of the Hampshire militia, -of which Lord Palmerston is colonel and commander," continued Meyler, -heaving another sigh, and looking most interestingly pensive, while his -eyes were steadily fixed on the cap. - -I could not help laughing; for there was in fact an originality about -Meyler's manner of saying mere trifles, which it would be impossible to -describe. And then he spoke so very slow, and his mouth was such a model -of beauty, that even nonsense came gracefully out of it. - - * * * * * - -"Meyler has brought his large dog over with him from Hampshire," said -Mildmay to me one evening at the Opera; "and he is at least half an hour -saying his name." - -"What is his name?" - -"Why Ch-a-n-c-e," answered Sir Harry, mimicking him. - -"Meyler is not stupid," said I. - -"Why, no," replied Mildmay. "Meyler possesses a good understanding when -one can give him a fortnight to consider things; but whenever impulse is -required he is of no use on earth." - -"I don't k-n-o-w t-h-a-t," I rejoined, imitating Meyler. "Some of his -impulses are particularly good, I assure you." - -Two days after the cap had made its appearance, Meyler's regimentals -came home, with yellow facings; the ugliest, most vulgar-looking -things, which could well be imagined. Meyler too had anything but the -_air militaire_ which ought to have set them off and made the best of -them. He was a little, quiet hero of the old school, with the most -beautifully delicate white hands, and he always wore silk stockings, -nankeen breeches, and small knee-buckles. At last arrived a letter -from the great commander-in chief, Lord Palmerston. I have not a copy -of his lordship's letter, so I do not mean to say that what follows is -verbatim; though the said epistle was shown to me at the time and my -memory is not apt to be treacherous. - - "MY DEAR MEYLER,--It really is incumbent on us, as a matter - of glory as well as honour, to attend to our Regimental duties, - and, as I understand your tailor has carried home your handsome - regimentals, with bright yellow facings, I trust you will accompany - me into Hampshire next Tuesday, for the purpose of drawing our men - out in a line, and making them go through their manoeuvres, &c. - - "Yours, dear Meyler, very truly, - "PALMERSTON." - - -Meyler, having perused the above letter, began by equipping himself in -his bran-new, bright red and yellow regimentals, and, having placed -himself opposite his large swing-looking glass for about a quarter of -an hour, the next thing he did was to throw off his gay uniform in a -passion, and then he sat down and addressed the following answer to -Viscount Palmerston: - - "MY DEAR LORD PALMERSTON,--Unfortunately I happen to be - subpoenaed at the House of Commons for Tuesday night, which is what - I regret, of course, infinitely; but, be assured, I will not fail - to distinguish myself in arms as soon as I have disposed of the - Catholic Bill. In the meantime believe me very truly yours, - - "RICHARD MEYLER." - - -"Do you know that Lord Worcester is expected to bring home the next -despatches?" said Fanny to me one night when we met in our opera-box. - -"It is all the same to me," I replied, "since he could be so selfish and -vilely shabby as to acquaint his father I had written to him. I shall -never respect or like him again." - -"Yet," said Fanny, "I have this morning received a letter from his -lordship, who writes of you in a very tender style. 'A friend of mine,' -says his lordship's letter, 'saw my sweet, darling Harriette in Hyde -Park, looking lovely. God bless her! What would I give, but to see her -pass this moment, even though she refused to acknowledge me.'" - -"Oh, that's enough," said I, interrupting Fanny, "I am quite in a -fidget, and cannot guess what Meyler is about, that he does not visit us -to night as usual. I understand he is going to the Duke of Devonshire's -dress party, and the idea torments me wretchedly." - -I turned many an anxious glance towards the Duchess of Beaufort's box -in vain, as well as towards the door of my own. The curtain dropped, -without our having seen anything of Meyler. - -As I was descending the grand staircase in a very ill-humour, a -well-known voice, from a little dark passage, called me by my name. -Conceive my astonishment at seeing Meyler screwed up into a close -corner, quite alone, in full regimentals. Fanny and I began to laugh -heartily at him. - -"Good gracious Mr. Meyler, is it you?" - -"Why not show yourself to the admiring world, after the trouble of -making yourself so very fine?" said Julia. - -"I am going to the Duke of Devonshire's dress ball, where there will be -plenty more fools in the same ridiculous sort of costume; and where, -I hope, I shall not feel so much ashamed of myself; but here I cannot -for the life of me summon courage to face my acquaintance; and so, here -have I been stuck up in the dark for the last two hours, trying to -get to your box; yet ashamed even to venture to my own carriage, till -everybody shall have left the house." How we all three did laugh at the -poor little interesting hero! and yet he looked so handsome, and his red -coat reflected such a fine glowing tint on his transparent, pale cheeks, -that I was selfish and wicked enough to determine against his exhibiting -himself at His Grace of Devonshire's. Lord Hertford joined us in our -little dark corner. - -"Do not go, Meyler," said I, "pray do not go to the Duke's to-night." - -"And why not?" Lord Hertford asked. - -"Because it will make me wretched," I answered. - -"However," said Meyler, "this is the first time of my being invited; -and, as all the world will be there, I really must go. You may take my -carriage, and I will get home to you as soon as possible." - -"Do you return to Grosvenor Square first?" I inquired. - -"Yes," said Meyler, as he handed me into his carriage; and then directed -his coachman to take me home; but I had scarcely got into Piccadilly -when the fit of jealousy seized me with such overpowering violence -that I suddenly pulled the check-string and requested to be conducted -to Meyler's house. When there I, unannounced, walked up into his -dressing-room. - -"Meyler," said I, "I have given way at all times to your caprice and -jealousy. This once humour mine, and I shall feel most grateful. My -health and spirits are low to-night. Pray cut the Duke and return -with me. It is the first time I ever interfered with your amusements, -therefore do not refuse me." - -Meyler was obstinate. - -"Well, then," said I, "I shall not return home alone. I propose going to -Lord Ebrington's and making love to him." - -This speech would have disgusted most men; but I knew Meyler. - -"I am sure you would not leave me for Ebrington, handsome as he is," -said Meyler. - -"Upon my word I will, and this very night if he is to be found, and you -refuse to return with me." - -"Well, then, I must return with you," said poor Meyler, throwing off his -unfortunate regimentals, and preparing to accompany me home. - -The next time I met Lord Hertford he told me I was very wrong, and ought -to have had more sense than to have attempted bringing Meyler home by -force. - -"You, on the contrary, are very right, my lord," answered I; "but then I -really could not help it." - -Soon after this Meyler went to hunt in Leicestershire, where, according -to the rules of their society, I was told I could not accompany him. -However, though Meyler and I were eternally at variance when together, -yet we were ever miserable and jealous whilst separated. One day I lost -all patience; and, ordering post-horses, went to join him at Melton by -surprise. He appeared delighted to see me; and I was invited to dine -every day that I should remain in Leicestershire at their club. The -house was very comfortable, and their dinners most excellent; so much -so, that I remember Meyler afterwards enticed away their man-cook, who -died in his house in Grosvenor Square. And further I remember, that -while the said dead cook's body was in Meyler's house his religious -feelings would not permit him to peruse some books which were lent him, -I believe by Lord Alvanly. These books, to say the least and best of -them, were what Lord F. Bentinck would have called very loose. - -The members of the Melton club led what I considered a very stupid -sort of life. They were off at six in the morning, dressed up in old -single-breasted coats, which once had been red, and came back to -dinner at six. The carroty-haired Charlton contrived to become a member -of this club. I allude to the young gentleman, who was concerned with -Horace Seymour in the seduction of two young mantua-makers, and who then -lamented, with so much real pathos, the sad loss of his circulars. - -This man would not have been tolerated at Melton, but that Brummell -once said he used good perfume. Still Meyler was such a sturdy, true, -obstinate, English country gentleman, as to pronounce the man half-bred, -impudent, and a bore. "And then," said Lord Alvanly, who was sitting -with us at dinner one day when Charlton happened to be absent, "and then -has such a d--n impertinent way of nick-naming us all fools." - -"True," replied Berkeley Craven, "that is really disagreeable." - -"I think we ought to take notice of it," said Meyler. - -"You don't say so?" observed Alvanly, growing pale. "But then," -continued Alvanly, "it is not my turn you know." - -"Quite the contrary," retorted Meyler, "you are the man he has most -insulted. Don't you recollect the other night, besides calling you a -fool, he accused you of being an old clothesman?" - -"Oh! That was because I am so often in the society of Jews." - -"No, it was when you were selling one of your great coats, if I remember -right," retorted Meyler. - -"I see no harm in that," Berkeley Craven remarked; "I am sure I would -sell anything I did not want, and I don't care to whom." - -"Then, I suppose, Berkeley, you would have no objection to part with -that coat?" said Meyler, alluding to a very threadbare one worn that -evening by Mr. Craven, and speaking in his usual slow way. - -Brummell, who had done us the honour to come over from the Duke of -Rutland's where he was staying to dine with us, said that, though he -knew little of the man Charlton, he could not but repeat, in common -justice, what he had before stated, namely, that the perfume he used for -his pocket handkerchief was unusually good. - -The evening hunt-dress is red, lined with white; and the buttons and -whole style of it are very becoming. I could not help remarking that the -gentlemen never looked half so handsome anywhere in the world, as when, -glowing with health, they took their seats at dinner, in the dress and -costume of the Melton hunt. - -A day or two after this conversation about Charlton, that gentleman -happened, by mere accident of course, to say to Alvanly, in answer to -some remark he made about hunting, "Oh! Lord bless your soul, no! That -is talking like a fool." - -"Look you here, my good fellow," said Lord Alvanly, lisping in his usual -queer way, "I will tell you what, you have got a trick of calling me -a fool, which is what I disliked exceedingly from the first. In fact, -I should have taken notice of it long ago, only I happened to be so -devilishly afraid of fighting. This fact is well known. In short, I -proved it beyond doubt, by cutting the army altogether directly I found -that sort of thing was going on. I went into the army, it is true; but, -then, as I have often mentioned to my friends before, I conceived my -regiment to be kept entirely as a body-guard to his Majesty. In other -words, I never expected it would have left London." - -Everybody began to laugh except Charlton, who did not exactly know how -to take it. - -"Gentlemen," added Alvanly, moving towards them, "it is not particularly -feeling in you to laugh, when I am discussing a subject which is so very -awful to me as fighting, and particularly at a moment when I am likely -to become a principal." - -He then turned his head towards Mr. Charlton, and resumed his discourse -as follows: - -"Now, you see, sir, my fears being so excessive as to fighting, I will -give you leave to call me fool twice more after to-day; but, by God, if -you call me so a third time during the whole course of my life, it -is all over with me; for you and I must fight!" - -[Illustration: Going to WHITE'S.] - -It so happened, as I have been very credibly informed, that lordly -Charlton left off calling people fools from that hour. Not that I mean -to insinuate that he was the least afraid of fighting: on the contrary, -I rather imagine he must have, just at the time, hit upon Doctor Watt's -hymns, and been edified by them. They are really very good reading -for a Sunday at Melton, and, if I remember right, there are two very -impressive lines in one of the hymns, well calculated to work a reform -in Mr. Charlton. They run thus: - - And he is in danger of hell-fire, - Who calls his brother fool. - -I forget whether Meyler got tired of me, or I of Melton, or of him; -but certain it is, I very soon returned to town. Meyler had no mind, -no romance about him. His person was charming; but that won't do, even -with gentlemanlike manners, for one's everyday companion. Meyler was not -up to me either in hand or heart. I could have been more constant, I -often used to say to myself by way of excuse, when I felt anything like -a new fancy coming across my imagination; but then he who suited me was -married, and how can such an active mind, such a warm imagination, live -on air? - -These reflections used to occur to me latterly, as often as I happened -to meet Lord Ebrington, with whom I had now only a mere bowing -acquaintance. Formerly, when I was very young, we had mutually sought -each other. I always thought him very handsome and sensible-looking, -and what to me is better than all the rest, he appeared as shy, proud, -and reserved as Lord Ponsonby; but, on acquaintance, we had discovered -that we were too much alike in temper to agree. Afraid of each other, we -could do nothing together, so we cut in a week; except, as to the mere -bow, which would not in common civility be avoided when we passed each -other. Lately, since I had found Meyler's temper become so provoking, it -had struck me more than once that, if Ebrington were to try again, we -might agree better. However there were three reasons why I did not make -the first advances to his lordship. In the first place, though Meyler -was a torment to me, my jealousy prevented me from throwing him upon -the world: in the second, I could not deceive any man: in the third, I -said to myself, "why should Lord Ebrington like me now when my health -and freshness are gone, though he did not care for me in the days of my -earliest youth and beauty?" "The case is hopeless," thought I, after -casting one wishful look behind me on Lord Ebrington, who, meeting me -on my entrance into town from Leicestershire, smiled sweetly as he made -me a very graceful bow; "therefore I'll finish writing my play, which I -began so long ago, instead." I took it from Moliere's celebrated comedy -of _Le Malade Imaginaire;_ but it was by no means a literal translation. -I reduced it to three acts, and altered what I conceived was too coarse -and indecent for an English audience. It only afforded me altogether -employment for three days, and, when done, I was far from sanguine as -to its success. What indeed could I be expected to know concerning the -Drama, who had seen so few plays in my life! - -Being acquainted with Mr. Charles Young the performer, I ventured to -request him to look over my dramatic labours. In three or four days he -called upon me. - -"Do you know," said he, "that this is a very clever work?" - -"You don't say so?" answered I. - -"How you happened to be so capital, in this way, I cannot conceive, -since you can have found little time for study. However, this being such -a hasty scrawl, you must get it fairly copied, and I will then present -it to the manager, Mr. Charles Kemble, with very little doubts of its -success." - -A friend of my own was kind enough to transcribe my comic efforts for -me, and I returned it to Mr. Young, who sent me a note to acknowledge -its receipt, in these words: - - "MY DEAR MISS WILSON,--I have received your manuscript, and - shall lose no time in presenting it to the managers, who will bring - it out immediately, that is, if they know a good thing when they - see it. - - "Yours truly, - "C. YOUNG." - - -In about a week, the managers returned my little comedy to Mr. Young, -stating in a note which that gentleman forwarded to me, that they did -not think it calculated to forward the interests of the stage, &c. I -know not whether Young or the managers were wrong in their opinion -of this piece; but certainly I bore the disappointment with much -philosophy, having only written it _pour passer le temps._ - -As I had really and truly formed a very high opinion of Mr. Young's -judgment and good taste, even before his praise of my play, I thought -I might as well show it to Elliston. I felt quite certain that Young -would not have advised me to take the trouble of getting it copied, if -it had not been his real decided opinion that it was fit for the stage; -so I wrote as follows to Mr. Elliston, whom I then believed to be a very -gentlemanly, pleasant old fellow. - - "MY GOOD MOUNTEBANK,--You, who were born and created for my - particular sport and amusement, pray come and see me on Sunday - evening at seven o'clock, if you have time. I want to give you a - little dramatic piece to look over at your leisure, and I want at - the same time to shake hands with you. - - "Yours truly, - "H.W." - - -Elliston sent me this answer on Sunday morning: - - "MY DEAR MADAM.--The probable prevention to the pleasure - I proposed to myself, in passing an hour in your company, was - removed; but I am laid by the heels with a sharp fit of gout, a - grievous enemy to Sunday evening meetings. I do not know whether - you think this a feather in my cap; but I would well wish that the - feather had been fixed on the foot, that, like Mercury, I might - have escaped from my confinement. If I chose to pursue the image, I - might add, my visit, like his, would have been to a goddess. - - "I am glad you think I was born to please you:--No, 'to amuse' - was the phrase, and, as Benedict says, there is a double meaning in - that. - - "It appears pretty evident, madam, that I must not play the - fool in private with you. God send me a good deliverance! I have - been out with my crutch, my pillow, and my large shoe, in the - carriage to-day: a seducing set of paraphernalia for _un beau - garcon._ There are, however, goodly reasons why I should think that - Tuesday or Wednesday will see me quite myself, which you will say - is promising but little. I promise nothing, but leave all to time - which, grey-beards say, bringeth everything to light. - - "MOUNTEBANK." - - -In about another week, I wrote to him again as follows: - - "Why don't you come, Mountebank? - - "Many thanks for the private box you were kind enough to send - me an order for last night. Your Jew was a masterpiece of fine, - chaste acting, nothing overdone--no grimace!--the true, benevolent - simplicity of the good old Jew, real and genuine. Tell me, by - bearer, when you will come, for I am like the lady in Tom Thumb--I - cannot stay. - - "Yours truly and obediently, - "H.W." - - -Elliston sent me word he would be with me by eight in the evening, at -which hour, finding himself, as usual very tipsy, he despatched this -note, by his servant: - - "MY DEAREST MADAM,--Say not you, in return, 'oh false - promiser!' Well, if I must bear blame, at least I will be heard. - The day has been unruly, and the difficulty of procuring a coach - very great: besides, when I come to you, let me be allowed the Da - Capo of your own sweet words, I cannot stay. Now, if I dared to - suppose that disappointment had soured you I would, with soothing - words, disarm you, and try to dissipate the frown from your brow. - - "What is the matter between you and Livius? - - "I am not conscious of having done any harm. In all my - transactions with that gentleman it has been my most anxious desire - to show him attention and to do him justice; and, I sincerely - assure you, that I have run his musical comedy as a first piece - beyond discretion. - - "If it is a fine morning on Sunday, I may walk up to your - house early. In short, as you say that I am an odd creature, think - me so still, and always believe that my heart is right, though my - head may be wrong; so I will call upon you when I can and, what is - more, when I like. Hurrah for impudence! - - "ANDREW MERRY." - - -There is enough of Elliston. I sent him my farce, which he acknowledged -in a letter now in my possession, where he promises to take an early -opportunity of reading it. Since that, we have quarrelled, and I have -vainly asked him to return me my farce or pay me for it. Elliston has -never had the honesty to do the one or the other. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXII - - -When I returned from Leicestershire, Colonel Parker was arrived from -Spain, and Worcester hourly expected with despatches. My father proposed -separating himself from my mother, and retiring to his native country -the Canton de Berne, should the expected peace be proclaimed; and he, as -well as Lord Berwick, wished my mother to reside with the younger part -of her family in France. - -Lord Worcester, when he brought over the despatches shortly afterwards, -appeared, from what my sister Fanny, whom he often visited, told me, to -have taken rather a dislike to me, or he was trying to do so, and he -strove hard to muster up another passion for another woman. The only -flattering part of this melancholy fact was, that every woman he made up -to had been reckoned like me in feature or expression. - -The noble marquis made up to the late Miss Georgiana Fitzroy, who, as I -have heard many people say, very closely resembled me. He danced with -her and ogled her for a fortnight, and then he was obliged to return to -his military duties in Spain. However, he first went, accompanied by -the present Lord Glengall, to take a hasty leave of his new flame. Lord -Glengall, who waited in an adjoining room, declared, as Amy says, that -he heard Miss Fitzroy sobbing in hysterics; and I have some reason to -believe that Lord Worcester could only sooth her by promises of marriage. - -When this account was mentioned to the Duke of Leinster, His Grace -asserted that Miss Fitzroy had tried hysterics with him as a bold stroke -for a husband of high rank; but, that, though not wise, he was not -quite so easily caught neither, as all that came to. - -While Lord Worcester was in town, Fanny had permitted him to visit her, -for the sole purpose of endeavouring to make him do something for me; -but Lord Worcester seemed to have lost every atom of feeling in the -wars, and, from a shy, sensitive, blushing, ardent boy, had returned a -cold-blooded and most shameless profligate, like the great, the glorious -wonder of his age, Wellington. - -France being now open to us, Meyler expressed his intention of taking a -trip to Paris. We had some very serious quarrels just at this time. - -"Meyler," said I to him, a short time before we went abroad, "you and -I cannot live together. You are honest enough to acknowledge that your -temper is abominable; for my part, I do not believe that there exists -a woman who could endure it. I hold myself no longer therefore under -your protection, mind. I don't mean to say that I will be unfaithful to -you; but from this hour I am my own mistress, and you, when we meet any -visitors, are to be turned out the first moment you treat me with a want -of politeness." - -Meyler could not bear this plan for any length of time, and we had -in one month mutually agreed to part at least twenty times over, and -then made matters up again. The deuce was in us both. We really hated -each other, and yet sheer jealousy kept us together. At last, Meyler -assured me that, though he had often talked of parting, he had never -been so determined till now; and to effect this object, and prevent the -possibility of our reconciliation like fools, only to quarrel again the -next instant, he should leave town and not return until we were both -attached and engaged elsewhere. - -This resolution made me, I do confess, very unhappy. To conceal my real -feelings I dressed gaily, I went blazing to the opera and to every -other place of resort where I might expect to meet Meyler's friends, -one of whom told me that Meyler was actually staying at Melton quite -alone, the hunting season being at an end. In about three weeks he came -to town. I dreaded encountering him at the opera, since we were to cut -each other dead, and yet the effort must be made. He shall see me merry, -and surrounded with handsome admirers, if I am to die the next hour. -The little, provokingly handsome sugar-baker must not know that I still -remember him, and am dying for his kiss. - -For several opera nights I saw Meyler in the Duchess of Beaufort's box, -and in the round-room, and we mutually cut each other. At last, he came -slyly up to our party and addressed my sister Fanny. His beautiful, -white, _petit_ hand was held towards mine, and I pressed it, _malgre -moi,_ for an instant, without speaking to him, and the next moment found -myself seated in his carriage on our way home. - -"Don't tell my friends," said Meyler. "I have so sworn never to speak to -you again, that I shall not be able to support their incessant quizzing." - -"We will not again attempt to live with each other," said I. "Our -tempers never can assimilate, and I will be as free as the air we -breathe; but you may, indeed you must, come and visit me." - -"Swear then, upon your honour and soul, that you will acquaint me if you -should prove unfaithful to me." - -I did swear not to deceive him: and then we hoped to go on more -comfortably under our new arrangement. - -"I shall go to Paris in my own carriage, and establish myself in my own -lodgings," said I; and to this proposition Meyler was obliged to agree. -He promised to follow me, and be there a week after my arrival. - -My dear mother had disposed of her house at Brompton very unwillingly, -in compliance with the wishes of Lord Berwick and her husband. Her -departure, as well as mine, was delayed by a circumstance which I will -now relate. - -Colonel Parker, being one of those sort of animals whose constitution -requires variety, had been, of late, cooling towards Fanny, his most -amiable and, I will swear, most faithful companion, the mother of his -child too, and merely because he had been in possession of her person -too many months for his habit of variety. Having left her one morning to -pay a visit to a relation of his, where he was to meet his cousin, Fanny -asked him, in joke, if he was certain he should not make love to her. - -"Love to her!" exclaimed Parker, "she is the greatest fright imaginable. -I wish you could once see her. It would set your mind at rest for the -remainder of your life, on that head at least." The lady's name was -Popham, if I recollect right. - -As Parker promised to return to Fanny in a week, she grew uneasy when -almost a fortnight had elapsed without seeing or even hearing from him. -At last, somebody told her that he was in town, and residing at an -hotel in Vere Street. Fanny set off that very instant by herself and on -foot to the hotel, declaring her conviction of its utter impossibility. -She was, however, dreadfully agitated, _quand meme_. She met Parker on -the steps of the hotel, and placed her hand upon his arm, absolutely -breathless and speechless. - -"Fanny," said Parker, "you are no doubt surprised that I did not either -go to you or inform you of my arrival in town." Fanny looked earnestly -in his face,--"but," continued Parker,--and he hesitated. - -"Pray, speak," said Fanny, and she pressed both her hands on her left -side. She had of late often complained that she felt pain there; but at -that moment it was agonising and seemed almost to produce suffocation, -which might have been seen by the purple tint of her quivering lips. - -"I have bad news for you," said Parker, rather confused than agitated. -"I am going to be married," he continued, observing that Fanny could not -speak. - -At these words Fanny's whole countenance underwent such a violent change -that Parker was terrified and, calling a hackney-coach, they stepped -into it and came home together while I was sitting with Julia, at whose -house Fanny still resided. - -The little sitting-room which Fanny had furnished and fitted up for -herself was a back parlour, looking into a garden. Her veil was down -when she descended from the coach, and, though we expected they would -have come upstairs, Julia and I determined not to interrupt them. I was -to pass the day with Julia: and, when the dinner was on the table, the -servant was desired to knock at Fanny's door and inform Colonel and Mrs. -Parker that we were waiting. The servant brought us word that they must -beg to be excused. I became uneasy and, without knocking or any further -ceremony, entered the room. Fanny was sitting on the sofa with her head -reclined on the pillow. She was not in tears and did not appear to have -been shedding any; but her face, ears, and throat were visibly swollen, -and her whole appearance so changed that I was frightened. - -"My dear Fanny, what is the matter?" - -Fanny did not even lift her eyes from their fixed gaze on the earth. - -"Colonel Parker," said I, "for God's sake, tell me what has happened." - -"She heard some unpleasant news too abruptly," said Colonel Parker. - -"I implore you not to inquire," said Fanny, speaking with evident -difficulty. "I would not be left alone this night, and I have been on my -knees to entreat Parker to remain with me. He refuses." - -"Surely you do not mean to leave her in this state;" said I, addressing -Parker. - -"I can do her no good. It is all too late, since my word is passed and -in ten days I shall be the husband of another. My presence irritates her -and does her harm." - -"Fanny, my dear Fanny," said I, "can you make yourself so completely -wretched for a man who acts without common humanity towards you?" - -"Pray, pray, never expect to console me in this way," said Fanny -impatiently. "I derive no consolation from thinking ill of the father of -my dear child." - -"Come to bed, dear Fanny," said I, taking hold of her burning hand. - -"Yes, I shall be better in bed." - -We assisted her upstairs. She seemed stupefied, and could neither speak -nor shed tears. At about one Parker left her. - -Fanny kept her bed for two days, and, on the third, she thought herself -much better. "All I entreat of you is to keep secret from me the day -of their marriage and everything connected with it," said Fanny. We -promised to do our best to prevent her hearing a word more on the -hateful subject. - -Fanny changed the conversation immediately, and forced herself to -go into society as usual; but her lips now assumed a blueish tint, -whenever she made the slightest exertion, or hurried upstairs, or walked -fast, and she would put her hand on her left side, and say, "There is -something very wrong and odd about my heart, of that I am certain; and -so, as it may be of use to others, perhaps to some of my sisters, I hope -that when I am dead you will have my body examined." - -There was a man, a brute I should rather say, whose passion she had -good-naturedly laughed at, who actually brought her a piece of Parker's -wedding-cake, and informed her of the day and hour on which they were -married. Fanny almost went on her knees to implore us not to enter her -bedroom for the whole of the next day. After that, she appeared nearly -the same as usual, except that she coughed rather more, and began to -discover that a single glass of wine always produced fever; but she -looked as fresh and lovely as ever. Her character however was completely -changed, from gay to serious, and she was always occupied in writing or -reading. - -When I went to France, Fanny's mind had been much relieved by some kind -letters from Parker, assuring her that he would, on his return to town, -always visit her and his child. He even led her to believe that his -marriage had been merely a convenient one, in order to obtain promotion -in the army, and that his heart had never changed. - -Fanny talked soon of joining me in Paris. Meyler, with whom I had not -once quarrelled since I had received him only as a visitor, promised -to follow me in a week. As to Julia, she could not leave her dear -long-backed Mr. Napier for a single day. Ladies on the wrong side of -forty become so very tender! - -Lord Frederick Bentinck drove me in his tilbury the two first stages -on my road to Dover, and then, after a world of good advice and many -questions as to where I expected to go after I was dead, he took his -leave, and I continued my journey towards Paris, accompanied only by my -_femme de chambre_, and my young provoking nephew, George Woodcock. - -We were all three so weary when we reached Paris, that, having hired -some handsome rooms in the Rue de la Paix, we kept our beds for about -two days and a half. On the third day, we went out to look about us, -and were much struck and pleased with the Place Vendome, and many more -places which have been sufficiently described by others; but, what -astonished me most, was seeing the public walks and gardens filled with -statues which had no broken noses, and full-blown roses which nobody -meddled with. "John Bull then must be a very mischievous fellow," said I -to myself; "or, what is worse, he has no respect for the fine arts." - -_En attendant_ Monsieur Meyler, my landlord was kind enough to show me -a few of the Paris Lions. We went to the Palais Royale, where I saw -more fine women than were to be met with in any other part of Paris. -We visited the Louvre, and there I saw many fine statues; but I have -forgotten all about every one of them except the Apollo Belvidere, -and that I shall remember for ever; not for its beauty, but for the -appearance of life, fire, and animation, which never can be described -nor imagined by anybody who has not seen it. The quivering lips--the -throat! Surely there was life and pulsation about that statue! It is -said, that a fair lady once sat by the Apollo, whom she could not warm, -till she went raving mad, and in that state died. I really think that, -if they had not come to divert my attention, I should have been in -danger of following her example. - -"We are free as air, you know, my dear," said Meyler, on the very first -night of his arrival, in Paris. "I have been most true to you for more -than two years, nor am I tired of you now in the least; but, never -having had an intrigue with a Frenchwoman, and being here for the first -time, of course I must try them merely for fun, and to have something to -talk about. You know, a young man with thirty thousand a year must try -everything once in his life; but I shall love you the better afterwards." - -"A delightful plan," said I, striving with all the power of my mind to -conceal my rage and jealousy, "provided it be mutually followed up, and -I can conceive nothing more agreeable than our meeting, about once a -week or so, and passing a day together for the sole purpose of hearing -each other's adventures." - -"Oh nonsense! Mere threats," said Meyler. "I don't believe you will ever -be inconstant. You are in fact too constant for Paris. One has enough -of all that hum-drum stuff in England. I am sure I have had enough of -it for the last two years, and begin to wish there was no such thing as -constancy in the world." - -I could have almost murdered Meyler for this insulting speech; but that -pride made me force myself to seem of his way of thinking. - -"Where are you staying?" I inquired with affected carelessness. - -"At the Hotel de Hollande, exactly opposite your own door," he replied. - -"Never mind," said I, "I shall not have time to watch you." - -"What are you going to do this evening?" Meyler inquired, growing -uneasy, and more in love as he began to believe in my indifference. - -"I have made a charming new acquaintance already. An Italian lady who -resides in this Hotel has invited me to dine with her," said I. - -"Will you present me?" Meyler inquired. - -"Why no, that would be too cool a thing to do till I know her better." - -"To-morrow morning then, I suppose, you are to be found, in case I -should not be otherwise engaged, at about two." - -"Why no, not so, for my carriage is ordered at ten in the morning, and I -shall be out the whole of the day, with a French party, seeing sights." - -"Where shall I see you, then?" said Meyler, vexed, fidgety, and almost -forgetting his project of making up to Frenchwomen, since the chief -enjoyment and zest of such a pursuit was expected to arise out of my -jealousy. - -"Why, really, Meyler, this plan of as free as air, which you know you -proposed, is so decidedly to my taste, that I cannot sufficiently -express to you my obligation. I begin to wish with you, that there was -no such thing as constancy in the world, particularly when I recollect -how very Darby-and-Joan-like we lived together in London; but I dare say -we shall meet at the Opera towards midnight, and, if we don't, never -mind, love," said I, kissing my hand to him as I went towards the door. - -"Where are you going then?" asked Meyler. - -"To a party in the Hotel, to whom my Italian friend presented me -yesterday. _Au revoir, mon voisin,_" said I, and then called Monsieur -Francois, my new _laquais de place_, to conduct me where I was to pass -the evening. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXIII - - -I had acted my part well, and satisfied my pride, but not my heart. No -matter. It won't do to play the game of hearts in Paris, and, wherever -we may be, we must take the world as we find it. - -At this French party, I expected that the men would be tumbling -over each other in their too great zeal to show me their national -politeness. Quite the contrary, the young Frenchmen were as indifferent -as even Brummell himself, to every woman turned of twenty; but the old -high-bred, high-born Frenchmen were all remarkably intelligent, polite -and agreeable. There was present among the company, a French naval -officer, who had passed two months of his life in London, and would -insist on boring me with his bad English. - -"It may be all vare fine, fore to go to Inglant, fore vat I do know; -but, fore my part, in de short time I vas dare I had not de goot fortune -to fine out de fine at all. Vare is de most fine pictures? I ask--and -dey tell me to go to Somaresetous, an to Pell Mell, vat you call. I go, -an dey make me pay fore von book, vish I read. Von vare fine orishinal -of dis, von fine copee of dat, an dis ting, an oter ting, and I den vos -pay agen: an ven I go in, dese ting are all execrable! Ven at de Louvre -I pay noting, to see avari ting vat is good. - -"'Vot is next?' I ask. 'De Tower' day say vare fine indeed. _Oui_, -certainly. I do remembare everybody do tell to me, in France, de Tower -is de most fine of all de spectacle in London. But den I most pay for -dese sight too. It is no dis vay in Paris I say; but, _n'importe:_ it -is mean of de na-ti-on to make pay for everyting von can see, but never -mind; an I do pay. Vot do dey show to me fore all dis money?... Muskets! -I don't vont fore to see de muskets! Vot for should any man vont fore -to see great many muskets, all put straight togeter fore to do noting? -My Inglese frend tell to me afterwards dat Inglant is most celebere fore -her agriculture! I haf de great disposition fore dat science myself, I -repond. Vel den de Ingleeshman tell to me, I shall gif you von lettare -of introduction to de chef of de Agricultural Societe, who leef near -Carmarthen en Vales. Oh my goot leetil man, I say. But it is so long vay -off, my frent tell to me. Never mind, I tell to him, I com to Inglant -fore to see all, and I love de most of all dis science, vich is so -parfait, I do know, in your contree. Vel, so I gif de lettare, an I take -my place in de mail coche. Ah! for example! vare nice horse and travail -indeet; bote it rain all de vay, an I vos two nights on my voyage. At -last, I arrive and pracent my lettare. - -"Vot you tink vos in this man's garten? - -"Noting, I gif you my honour, boate some cabage and some myrtle, and -great mosh tornep tops, and soam leettil pot of de sweet pea. - -"'Vot den for Got, devil he send me here to learn agriculture?' I ask. - -"An dis man say stop a minute, an aftare he take me to a societe, vare -von old man make vare large discours for rule of agriculture, in de -velsh langage, vich vos, I vos assure, de most fine langage in de vorlt -fore de expression. Ma foi! An I am retours agen to Londres. I take my -logement in your best quartare, vare, I vos tel, is all de beau monde, -bote, certainement, I cannot see mush vare particulare beaute in vot ees -call de _beaux jardins_ of Laistare Square." - -I did not see Meyler again till the following evening at the opera, -when, being both tired of shamming more indifference than we really -felt, we went home together. Meyler was looking remarkably handsome and -well. He told me that Lord Ebrington was in Paris, and had promised to -present him at court the next day. - -"What do you think of his lordship?" I inquired. - -"He is one of the handsomest, most sensible, and distinguished looking -young noblemen in Europe," Meyler replied. - -"Very well, I am glad you like him, and I am glad he is here; because, -if you treat me too ill, or again mortify me by saying you are sick of -my constancy, and wish nobody was constant in the world, _alors, vois -tu, on peut se consoler._" - -"_Point du tout,_" answered Meyler, "for, of course, if Lord Ebrington -had any fancy for you he would prove it. I am not such a vain fool as to -believe any woman breathing would have me, or remain an hour with me, if -she could be even tolerated by Lord Ebrington." - -"Now Meyler, pray don't go out of your way to provoke me. You cannot, -nobody can, or ever did imagine I would stay with a man whom I disliked, -merely for his money: and further, what pleasure do you find in striving -to wound and humble my vanity thus, as if I was and had been constant to -you from necessity alone?" - -"I did not say you could not get others. I know to the contrary. I only -said what I firmly believe, which is that, were you, this very night, to -send a note to Lord Ebrington, inviting him to your bed even, he would -not come." - -Thus did this provoking creature delight in teasing me, and the next -half-hour he would seem passionately devoted to me. - -For the first month, Meyler went everywhere, and I led a very gay life: -that is, with regard to going every night to parties, masquerades, -balls, and other amusements. One day, a friend of Meyler's, Bradshaw, -told me that Meyler led a most dissipated life, and made up to at least -half a dozen Frenchwomen in a week. The idea had not struck me with -such force of truth before, and I was suddenly oppressed with very low -spirits; so writing an excuse to the party where I was expected to sup, -I sat down at my window to watch the door of Meyler's hotel, which was -opposite to mine, for the arrival of his well-known, little, elegant -chariot. The moment it caught my eye, I despatched my servant with a -note begging him to come over to me immediately. He obeyed my summons in -very ill humour, declaring that I made him feel as though he had a net -thrown over him, and that it was impossible to be happy without perfect -liberty. This harshness to one like me, who had been hitherto so spoiled -and indulged, affected me with the deepest melancholy. I felt it the -more too from being in a foreign country. Meyler had wounded my pride -in a way I should have resented at another moment; but I was in Paris -alone, my mother and her family not having yet joined me. Meyler was my -only friend, and, but for Meyler, I might probably have been now married -to Worcester, whose tender care of me and devoted attentions could -scarcely be understood or described. - -"Meyler," said I, almost in tears, "I wish all the world to enjoy -perfect liberty, and you must admit that, generally speaking, it has -been my request that you only remain with me while my society is -pleasant to you; but this night I am unwell, and my spirits are greatly -depressed by what Mr. Bradshaw has told me. You know I am not a likely -person to wear the willow, or be long unhappy, if you have ceased to -prefer me to all other women; but, this night I would entreat, and -consider it as a favour, if you would remain with me for an hour." - -"Can't you enter into the secret of my temper," said this most provoking -little man, in his usual impressive, slow way. "Can't you understand -that, were you to make it your particular request that I should sit down -on that chair, at the very moment when I was about to do so, it would be -the very reason why I should determine against it?" - -"Common delicacy, such as is due to yourself as a gentleman," I -continued, "might induce you not to wound my pride, or insult me by -leaving me, at the moment when I have every reason to believe it is for -the purpose of visiting another woman; one too of that class, which is -even unsought by any Englishman who may fall in their way. This has been -told me by your friend; but if you will give me your honour that such is -not the case I will believe you." - -"You are not my father confessor," answered Meyler roughly, and then -ran downstairs, got into his carriage, and drove off without farther -ceremony. - -If I had bowed in meek submission to Meyler's will, and endured all this -unfeeling, insulting treatment in humble silence, wetting my solitary -pillow with my tears, perhaps some might have voted me a saint, from -which opinion I take the liberty to differ. We must, as I think, treat -those capricious men as we find them. Meyler's affections were not to -be so preserved, even if it had not been contrary to my nature and my -spirit to submit to undeserved insult without offering _la pareille_. -Had I been a wife or a mother, I might have thought differently, as -it was, anger now took the place of tenderness. I dried up my tears, -settled my disordered curls by the glass, and, being fixed as a rock -in my determination to leave Meyler at once and immediately, I was -undecided as to my choice of doing so. I wanted to convince him of my -perfect contempt and indifference. I should have preferred being pointed -at by the whole world, as one of the most profligate women breathing, -rather than that any one should imagine me capable of wearing the willow -for a mere sugar-baker, who could forsake me and openly seek the society -of the lowest women, in preference to mine. - -At this moment, choosing whom I might prefer myself, as an instrument -to execute my proposed vengeance, was quite a secondary consideration. -I thought only on the person who might be most likely to inspire Meyler -with jealous rage and envy. Such is poor human nature; and I have said -before that I am but a mere woman, with at least as many imperfections -on my head as women usually have to answer for. I allude only to -handsome women, who have been as much tempted as I have. - -I very soon decided upon Lord Ebrington, as being the man Meyler -professed to think most desirable, and, at the same time, whose -attention he conceived it would be most difficult for me to obtain, and -I wrote as follows: - - "MY DEAR LORD EBRINGTON,--You and I made each other's - acquaintance when I was very young, and soon parted. By mutual - consent we cut each other's acquaintance. Yesterday I saw you - looking remarkably well. You were in Meyler's barouche. You have - sense enough to love candour, and, when women mean the same thing, - you have the same respect for them, whether they go a roundabout - way to work, or straight forward. In a word then, I am willing to - renew our acquaintance, believing it just possible, that, if you - were tired of me long ago, when I was quite a different sort of - person, you may like me now; while, at the same time, I may be less - afraid of you than I was formerly. _Qu'en pensez vous?_ - - "H.W." - - -Answer: - - "Will ten o'clock this evening suit you? If so, I shall have - much pleasure in visiting you. - - "E." - - -Revenge is sometimes sweet, even to the most forgiving lady, when -the manner of it is not too desperate. Ebrington came. He was then -particularly handsome and sensible, and his manners were as gentle, -shy, and graceful almost as those of Lord Ponsonby himself. Few woman -could have disliked a _tete-a-tete_ with Lord Ebrington. The thing was -scarcely possible, supposing he had been in the humour to make them -like it. The fact is I gloried in being a match for Meyler's vile -impertinence. Naturally frank, I did not conceal the real state of -things from Ebrington. I paid his vanity a wretched compliment, he said; -but still he should have been proud to have accepted my invitation under -any circumstances. - -Ebrington was not a new lover. I had known him long before I ever saw -Meyler; but he was proud, and reserved, and shy, and he had not taken -the trouble to draw me out, or discover that I professed any more -quickness than girls in general. I always thought the expression of his -countenance remarkably fine, and now that we conversed more freely and -I had an opportunity of judging of his very agreeable qualities, from -his lively pleasant conversation, it was impossible to avoid drawing -comparisons by no means favourable to Meyler, who, though perfectly -graceful and gentlemanlike, was far from well read, and, as for -conversation, he seldom spoke at all. Moreover, at this instant, I had -good reason to believe the provoking little reptile was actually in the -arms of some frail, very frail, French woman. - -I asked Ebrington, while we were taking our chocolate the next morning, -in my very gay, luxurious dressing-room, how he came to be so cold a -lover at a time when I was certainly handsomer and in the very first -bloom of my youth? - -"I cannot account for it," answered Ebrington; "but, since you love -candour, I will tell you that you did not then inspire me with any -warmer sentiment than such general admiration as one cannot help feeling -towards any fine girl. We met by accident, and soon parted I believe, -without much regret on either side." - -"_Quant a moi, je vous en repond, mon ami,_" said I, determined not to -be behind on the score of indifference. - -"Since that," continued Ebrington, "I have heard of nothing but -Harriette Wilson wherever I went. I could not help wondering what -Ponsonby or Worcester had discovered in you that was so very charming, -and yet could so entirely have escaped my observation." - -"You vile, impertinent monster!" interrupted I. - -"Never mind, dear Harry," continued Ebrington, "for I love you dearly -now." - -"And I like you twice as well as I did six or seven years ago," I -retorted. - -"Very complimentary to us both," said Ebrington. "In fact, you are now -exactly what I always liked. Formerly, you were too shy for my taste. I -would have given anything that you had sent for me merely because you -fancied me. Nothing can be so gratifying and delightful to my feelings, -as the idea of having inspired a fine woman with a strong, irresistible -desire to make me her lover, whenever the desire is not a general one. - -"I remember having once made the acquaintance of a woman who was greatly -to my taste, and who, as I almost fancied, was disposed to favour me in -return. After much difficulty I obtained her consent to indulge me with -a private meeting, and she agreed to come into my chariot, in which I -took her up at the end of a retired lane at the back of her father's -house. She was a young widow. We were scarcely seated, when her very -natural, frank, and flattering exclamation of 'Oh how very happy I am, -to find myself at last here alone with you,' produced such a pleasant -effect on me that I have never forgotten it." - -Ebrington did not leave me till past two o'clock in the day, having -obtained my permission to return to me early on the same evening. About -half an hour after his departure Meyler entered my room, and, as was -invariably the case, after he had used me harshly, was all smiles and -tenderness. "My dearest Harriette," said he, "I confess Bradshaw told -you the truth. I have been intriguing, since I came to Paris, with -almost every Frenchwoman I could find. _Que voulez-vous?_ It is the -nature of the animal. I am not naturally sentimental. Frenchwomen, being -a great novelty to me, inspired me for the moment; but I could never -visit any one of them a second time. So much the contrary, that I ran -away from any one I had once visited, when I met them in the streets, -with feelings of the strongest disgust. Last night has cured me of -intriguing with Frenchwomen. I returned home, more in love with you, -dearest Harriette, than ever. In short, I was dying to see you, to kiss -you, and ask your forgiveness on my knees: but it was too late, your -house was shut up, and I dared not disturb you." - -"You will never disturb me again," answered I, very quietly. - -"What do you mean?" - -"I have seen Lord Ebrington." - -"What! When we passed your house in my barouche." - -"I am not so platonic as to have been satisfied with that. No, I sent -for him: but you know, you affirmed that I might do this with safety, -since you were sure he would not obey my summons. _Qu'en pensez-vous -actuellement?_" - -"Pray," said Meyler, trembling from head to foot, "put me out of -suspense." - -"_Je ne demande pas mieux, je t'en repond,_" answered I, "only," and I -looked at him as I advanced towards the door for safety, "only promise -not to beat me nor break my head." - -"Nonsense! Pray, pray don't torment me." - -"Why not? You felt no remorse in vexing me, last night." - -"Yes, indeed I did, after I had left you." - -"And of what service was that to me, think you? However, I never wished -to deceive you nor any man. Briefly then, I beg to inform you that I -sympathise with you in your love of variety, and you will, I am sure, -give me credit for excellent taste, when I inform you that I have made -a transfer of my affections from you to Lord Ebrington, who passed the -night here, _et qui doit faire autant ce soir._" - -I expected abuse; but, at all events, something like coldness of manner -from Meyler. _Oh! que les hommes sont bizarres._ Quite the contrary. -Meyler's spirits sunk into despondency: he actually shed tears, which, -with him, was a very unusual event. He was now at my feet, the humble -sighing, adoring, suppliant lover again. - -"You have a good heart, Harriette," said he, "and, whatever my faults -may have been, I am now sufficiently punished. My health, as you know, -has been seriously affected lately. I therefore implore you to send away -Lord Ebrington and give me one more trial. I will be as constant and as -attentive to you as you can possibly wish." - -The little interesting sugar-baker looked very pale; but always very -handsome. I say little, from the mere habit I had acquired, with more -of his friends, of calling him little Meyler; for his person was very -well proportioned, and altogether of the full middle size; but then the -expression of his features possessed that soft style of beauty which -would have been suitable to a woman. - -To proceed, Meyler remained with me without his dinner till past eight -o'clock. He would not eat, and could not leave me. At nine, I expected -Lord Ebrington, who believed me watching for him with tender anxiety. -By this time, fasting and fretting had made poor Meyler seriously -unwell. I was not destitute of humanity towards even the worst of my -fellow creatures; but it is not, was not, and never will be in my nature -to forget insult, nor to love any man, after he has practised open -infidelity towards me. - -"Meyler," said I to him at last, just as the clock was about to strike -the hour of nine, and I was in momentary expectation of seeing Lord -Ebrington enter the room, "since you have stayed here so long, and -appear really annoyed, I will not turn you out of the room to admit -another man." - -I then hastily scribbled a few lines of apology to Lord Ebrington and -handed it to my woman, requesting her to carry the letter down to the -porter's lodge to be delivered to his lordship as soon as he should -enter. Meyler was all joy and wild rapture: more in love, perhaps, even, -than on the day I first went to him, after he had been pining for one -whole year and a quarter. For my part, the idea that so many of the -lowest women had lately been favoured with his smiles entirely prevented -my sympathising in his feeling. Ebrington seemed at least to respect and -love me. He was handsome, accomplished, of high birth, and not quite -turned of thirty. - -I was already beginning to prefer his lordship, and was it to be -wondered at, all the circumstances considered? Meyler wanted me to -promise never to see nor speak to Ebrington again; but, as it was -contrary to my taste and principles to leave any man I had once -favoured, as long as he gave me no cause to complain of him, I told -Meyler he had better waive the subject, for I would positively make no -promise, one way or the other. With this answer he was obliged to be -content. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXIV - - -The next morning Lord Ebrington called on me in his cabriolet. Meyler, -who had just left me, was watching my house from his own window opposite. - -Meyler was man of the world enough to subdue his feelings so far as -to treat Ebrington with something like civility. Not that he feared -fighting; ridicule alone was the bugbear, which made him smother his -rising anger till he had quite subdued it. My two beaux seemed bent on -sitting each other out; the difficulty was to hit upon subjects for -conversation. We had gone over that lame one, the weather, at least -three times, and the dirty streets of Paris, the French cookery, &c. -Ebrington now tried Bonaparte, then pictures, next statues: but Meyler -knew no more about them all than the man in the moon, even if he had -been disposed to converse, which was seldom the case at any time. At -last, luckily for me, they both recollected that they were invited to -a large dinner with some of the French royal family, and had only just -time to dress. Meyler called me aside to entreat that I would receive -him after dinner. I refused. Meyler was in a passion. I declared we must -part, since those Frenchwomen had for ever spoiled the pleasure I used -to feel in his society. - -"Then I'll cut the dinner, and stay here all my life," said Meyler, -quietly seating himself. - -"We shall be too late, Meyler," called out Ebrington from the -drawing-room. - -Dreading some difference between these two gentlemen, I at length -promised to receive Meyler in the evening, since that appeared to be -my only chance of getting rid of him. I had this day invited a new and -very pleasing female acquaintance to dine with me. She was an Italian -widow, of exactly my own age, with the true, soft, Italian expression -of countenance. A native of Naples, she had accompanied her son to -Paris for the purpose of placing him in a celebrated college. He was a -delicate, bilious-looking, interesting child of eleven years of age, -with large, pensive black eyes, and thick black fringes to them. He -wore, in common with all the youths of that institution, a large cocked -hat, with a tight, military blue coat, faced with a lighter shade of the -same colour. His appearance formed an odd contrast to that of my young -nephew, George Woodcock, whom I had brought to Paris with me. George -was a fair, fresh-coloured, remarkably strong, active boy, with white, -thick curly hair, dressed in a light blue jacket and trousers, with a -small ruff round his throat. He did not know one single word of French: -nay, more, was such a complete John Bull as to declare upon his word and -honour that he would take all the care he possibly could not to learn -it. All he feared and dreaded was that the vile jargon should come to -him by itself, in spite of all he could do to prevent it. - -My Italian friend, whose Christian name was Rosabella, inhabited -the same hotel with me. Her constant visitor was a most sanguine -Bonapartist, who had formerly been employed by that emperor as -ambassador to the court of Naples. I forget this man's name; but I -remember he treated Rosabella with the affectionate kindness of a -father. His manners were very refined; but so excessively formal and -ceremonious that he used to put me into a fever. If he came up to a -carriage during a heavy fall of rain, nothing we could say would induce -him to put on his hat, and as to putting on his great coat in a room -where I happened to be sitting, even at Rosabella's own house, he could -not endure such an idea. - -Rosabella was naturally as frank as myself. In our second or third -interview, she informed me that she had married at the age of thirteen, -by her parents' commands, an old Frenchman whom she hated, and who -might, in point of years, have been her grandfather; that her disgust -and dislike towards her better half was at its height when she was -accidentally thrown into the society of Monsieur l'Ambassadeur, who, in -the course of due time--in one, two or three years, I forget which--had -completely won her heart, and the result and pledge of their love was -her only son, the young Carlo, who, having been presented in form to -young George Woodcock, was no doubt remarkably communicative, seeing -that he knew but little French, which language he spoke with a strong -Italian accent, while George Woodcock vowed and declared he would sooner -do anything than understand one word of their vile lingo. - -Carlo was a prodigy of learning for his age. No expense, which could be -imagined by fond parents as likely to forward or facilitate his studies, -was spared or ever neglected. He had a private tutor kept for him at the -college, and whom Rosabella would constantly invite to her table. All -her hopes on earth were centred in her child, who slept on a bed of down -and drank only of the most delicate wines. He was already a good poet, -and rhymed in four different languages; but the poor child appeared to -me to be actually dying a victim to severe study, combined with want of -exercise. His mother indeed took him home every Saturday night, and he -remained with her till the following Monday; but she made him draw plans -by way of recreation, with his tutor, almost the whole of the day. - -At the time we became acquainted, poor Carlo was afflicted with an -oppression on the chest, attended with a cough, and Rosabella, having -remarked the bright bloom on George's cheeks, snatched her poor little, -interesting skeleton of a child to her heart, and half smothered him -with the ardour of her kisses, and then burst into tears. I endeavoured -to console her with the assurance I felt, that Carlo only required air -and relaxation in order to recover his health. - -"He shall have a week's holiday," said poor Rosabella, "and play with -your nephew all day long, merely to try its effect." - -I interpreted what she said to my nephew, who immediately seized hold of -the delicate Carlo, saying, "Come along with me, little Boney. There's a -castor for you," taking up the child's large cocked hat, which was full -half as big as himself, and, pressing it down on his head by main force, -"one may see you're a Boney in a minute. Never mind. I won't be such a -coward as to leather you till you get stronger, for fear I should kill -you; so come with me my little fellow, and I will teach you to swim and -play at cricket." - -"_Plait-t'il?_" said Carlo, raising his large languid eyes to George's -face from the pencil he was cutting. - -"_Veux-tu jouer avec le petit Anglais, mon enfant?_" inquired Rosabella. - -"_Volontiers,_" answered Carlo, throwing aside his pencil and gracefully -bowing to George, as he took off the huge military cocked hat, which -George had fastened tight on his head by dint of hard thumps on the top -of it with his fist. - -"Come along," said George, dragging Carlo forward to the spacious -courtyard below. - -The contrast which these two children of exactly the same age exhibited, -both in their characters and persons, was too striking to have been -overlooked, even by the most careless observer: for my part, it -furnished me with no inconsiderable source of amusement. - -Rosabella and I were quietly taking our dessert together immediately -after our early dinner, when I was astonished by the re-appearance of -Meyler. - -"What, returned already?" I exclaimed. "Why, I scarcely imagined that -you had sat down to table." - -"I shall get into a nice scrape," answered Meyler. "Only fancy me, while -two of the royal family were present, jumping up actually in the middle -of dinner, merely using the words, 'a pain here,' and with my hand to my -head bolting out of the room?" - -"What could induce you to be so very rude?" I inquired. - -"Why, Lord Ebrington, who was to have dressed and met me at the door, -never made his appearance at dinner; I therefore took it for granted he -was coming here instead." - -"You will have enough to do," said I, "if you have determined to turn -spy on either of our actions, after I have told you that I never shall -wish to live with you again. Now that you have thus insulted and -publicly neglected me, I must choose of two things, either to hate you -and be eternally in a passion with you, or to avoid your society. I -know you now, and your tastes and pursuits. Still we may continue on -friendly, good terms; but all illusion is destroyed." - -This growing indifference on my part served to rouse the sluggish -disposition of Meyler. He was all attention and, what is still more -astonishing, he was now in high spirits. - -Competition with a rival was what inspired him with most passion and -energy, he said, and nothing on earth made him half so much in love. He -loved to feel himself in a fever of doubt and agitation about a woman. -It was the only thing which kept him awake, made his blood circulate, -and did him good. - -Rosabella took her leave soon after the return of Meyler, who was -so afraid of Ebrington making his appearance, that he feigned being -extremely indisposed, an excuse for inducing me to retire to rest -and shut up my doors for the night. The next morning I received the -following letter from my sister Fanny; - - "MY DEAR HARRIETTE,--My journey to Paris is put off for the - present, and our dear mother will arrive without me, accompanied by - our brothers, George and Charles, with Jane, Charlotte and Rose. - My spirits are not at present equal to any sort of exertion. Parker - has inquired often, and kindly, after his child, and has twice been - to visit me; but I will not dwell on this melancholy subject. I am - writing in Parker's old bedroom. Methinks, the bed looks like a - tomb. However, reflection is all nonsense. I would fain tell you - something in the shape of news, but really, I scarcely ever leave - the house. Brummell's sun, they say, is setting, which, you'll - answer, was the story long ago; but, since that, I am told Brummell - won twenty thousand pounds, that is too now gone, and he is greatly - embarrassed. Poor Lord Alvanly they say is just in the same plight. - Napier's passion for Julia continues to increase. I will not call - it love or affection, else why does he with his twenty thousand a - year suffer her to be so shockingly distressed? On the very day you - left England, Julia had an execution in her house and the whole of - her furniture was seized. I really thought she would have destroyed - herself. I insisted on her going down to Mr. Napier at Melton by - that very night's mail, to whom I wrote, earnestly entreating him - to receive her with tenderness, such as the wretched state of her - mind required. A man of Mr. Napier's sanguine temperament was sure - to receive any fine woman with rapture, who came to him at Melton - Mowbray, where petticoats are so scarce and so dirty; but, if he - had really loved her, he surely would have immediately paid all her - debts, which do not amount to a thousand pounds, as well as ordered - her upholsterer to new-furnish her house. - - "Would you believe it? Julia has returned with merely cash or - credit enough to procure little elegant necessaries for Napier's - dressing-room, and, for the rest, her drawing-room is covered - with a piece of green baize, and, in lieu of all her beautiful - little knick-knacks and elegant furniture, she has two chairs, an - old second-hand sofa, and a scanty, yellow cotton curtain. Her - own bed was not seized. It is now the only creditable piece of - furniture in the house of Napier's adored mistress, one of the - richest commoners in England, who is the father of her infant. I - except my own room of course, which has not been disturbed. Amy - thinks of going to Paris almost directly. Paget, as Lord of the - Treasury, must remain in London, and only pay her flying visits. - Nugent and Luttrell are also going. I suppose you know that your - prime favourite, Ward, went to the continent with Ebrington, and, I - understand, they go on to Italy together: that is to say, if they - continue to agree. Ward has been making love to me lately. The - other day, he said something to me which I fancied so truly harsh, - coarse, and indelicate, that it produced a violent hysterical - affection, which I found it impossible to subdue. The remarks I - made were certainly, as I conceive, what every female with the - least decency or delicacy must have made, _en pareil cas._ - - "Ward wanted me to submit to something I conceived improper. - When I refused, he said, with much fierceness of manner, such as - my present weak state of nerves made me ill able to bear, 'D----d - affectation.' I afterwards repeated every particular of what had - occurred to Ward's friend Luttrell, who frankly answered, with - his earnest serious face, 'It looks bad! 'tis a bad story. 'Twas - coarse and brutal! There's no excuse for inhumanity of manner or - expression, when applied to a woman!' Nugent tried to excuse him. - - "'Ward,' said Nugent, 'is so clever that I respect him. He has - a bad temper, I confess: but for this there would be nothing to say - against him.' - - "Sophia and Lord Berwick appear to go on in the old humdrum - way. Nobody visits them in their opera box, except our brother - John. In fact, I believe Lord Berwick will not permit them. Harry - De Roos declares Sophia to be most ridiculously jealous of her - sister Charlotte's beauty. - - "'True,' said De Roos to me the other day, 'true, I fancy I - ought to have offered my arm to her ladyship one night, instead of - to Charlotte; but the latter was really so much handsomer, I could - not resist. The next day, I dined with Lord Berwick, and, after - dinner, placed myself by the side of her sister Charlotte, with - whom I took pleasure in conversing, of course, on common subjects. - Your mild sister Sophia fell into a violent rage, and began to blow - like a kitchen-maid. I was amused at this, and induced to increase - my attention to Charlotte. At length, Sophia's blood boiled over - all at once, and, bouncing towards me, she said, "Mr. De Roos, if - this is the kind of conduct, you mean to observe, we had better see - no more of you." - - "'I answered very calmly, that her ladyship was certainly at - liberty to choose her own society, and requested she would permit - me to ring for a hackney-coach, since my own carriage was not - coming till late. Sophia's footman was a long while gone in search - of the coach, during which time I commenced a dead flirtation with - Charlotte on purpose to mortify her sister.' - - "I must now conclude, my dear Harriette, whose happiness, I - sincerely pray for. Apropos, I had almost forgotten to tell you of - my new conquest of Lord Bective, who is really very humble, civil, - and attentive to me. I know you will arraign my taste, when I say I - rather like him: but then, you recollect, I always hated handsome - men. - - "God bless you. I enclose a few lines for my poor boy, George, - and beg you to believe in the lasting affection of - - "Your sister - "FANNY." - - -I had scarcely finished reading my letter when Lord Ebrington called on -me. - -"You have behaved very ill to me," said his lordship. - -I assured him it was not my fault; that I had frankly assured Meyler -that it would no longer suit me to continue on the same terms with him -in which we had formerly lived. - -"But still you admit him, just as usual," retorted Ebrington. - -"Because Meyler is so violent in his temper, and, just now, so uneasy in -his mind, which, added to his indifferent state of health, is more than -I can resist. Meyler will not remain long in France; but, while he is -here, my heart fails me when I attempt to turn him out of my house, and -he must be permitted to visit me; neither will I shock nor disgust him, -while he is in this constant and penitent humour, by allowing him to -find you so often here." - -Ebrington, being very proud, did not show half the disappointment he -really felt. I refused to tell his lordship to which theatre I was going -in the evening, lest his visit to our private box should annoy poor -Meyler, for I still felt something like affection for him, although -I could never speak to him, or think of him, without getting into a -passion. - -I was agreeably interrupted by a visit from my dear mother, accompanied -by my eldest sister, who was, I will not say, an old maid, and yet -she certainly was not a very young one. They had left my brothers and -sisters at their hotel, where they had arrived from England late the -night before. My poor mother looked remarkably well, and I was delighted -to have her in the same country with me. She had brought George -Woodcock's young sister, little Anney, with her. She was a fine healthy -child, of about eight years of age. Lord Ebrington was not presented -to them, and took his leave. I insisted on their bringing the whole -family to dinner, which they did. In the evening, they retired early. -I accompanied Meyler to a private box, which he had engaged for me, at -the French Opera House, where we had scarcely been seated half an hour, -when Lord Ebrington made his appearance, to the very evident annoyance -of Meyler, who looked at me reproachfully, as though he imagined his -lordship was there by my desire. I determined to set him right. - -"Does your lordship always attend the French Opera?" I inquired, and I -was answered in the negative, and he frankly assured me that his visit -to that theatre was expressly to look for me. I asked him how he could -possibly know I was there. - -"I have already visited almost all the theatres to-night," answered -Ebrington. - -Meyler's feelings were for once stronger than even his fear of ridicule, -and he bounced out of my box, banging the door loudly after him. -Ebrington, instead of taking notice of this, took the opportunity of -our being _tete-a-tete_, to press me eagerly to appoint a time for his -seeing me again. - -"How is it possible," I replied, "even if I wished it, since Meyler -will not absent himself an hour from me, unless it is to accompany you -somewhere? Meyler is very unhappy at your appearance in his box this -evening, which was certainly rather bold of you; and, further, I am -sorry, very sorry; for I know not how it is, but you certainly remind -me of Lord Ponsonby, in voice in manner and in person. Notwithstanding, -I positively mean to promise Meyler, this very evening, that, while he -continues faithful, and so attentive to me, as he has been for the last -few days, he shall not have his feelings and pride wounded by being -intruded upon by you." - -Lord Ebrington reddened from mortified pride, as he said, with some -little affectation of indifference, while taking up his hat to depart, -"_Tu fera ce que tu voudra, ma belle Harriette,_" and he bowed himself -out of the box. - -Little Meyler's very expressive face brightened into a glowing blush, -when I made a sign to him that Ebrington was gone; for he had placed -himself in an empty box on my left side, where he was watching me in a -very melancholy attitude, and whence he immediately joined me. - -"Lord Ebrington shall not tease you any more," said I to him. "No -matter what my feelings may be, I prefer anything to giving pain to -the persons who appear to feel the least regard for me. Now the high -and mighty don, my Lord Ebrington, if he does feel for anything, or -anybody, conceals it so well by dint of sheer pride, that he seems a -very statue when he likes, although he certainly likes to be just the -reverse of this, when one gives him due encouragement. As for you, my -little honest sugar-baker, you are not ashamed of shedding tears and -acknowledging yourself unhappy about a woman; therefore I repeat you -shall be annoyed no more. I felt indignant at Lord Ebrington taking the -liberty of intruding himself into the private box you had hired for me, -and therefore took that opportunity to give him his _conge_." - -Meyler seemed very grateful and excessively delighted. - -"How did Ebrington like being _congedie?_" he inquired. - -"Why, to tell the truth, I don't think he will die of it," I replied. - -For another fortnight, during which I had not once heard of Ebrington -everything went on smoothly and charmingly. I could indeed never feel -what I had felt for Meyler; but his attentions were received with -gratitude, and I fancied that, if it were possible for him to continue -in good temper, I could yet make myself tolerably happy with him, as -often as I could drive his late, low and bare-faced intrigues out of my -head. - -Ebrington, for what I knew, had again forgotten me; therefore, why in -the name of common sense should I remember one who, though handsome and -talented, proved himself at all times so very heartless. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXV - - -One day as I was sitting at dinner with Rosabella, a poor Italian -introduced himself to her, and had the art to impose himself upon her -as a countryman of her own of very high rank, who had returned from the -Spanish wars in the greatest possible distress, and had just left his -lovely wife, who was of noble blood, entirely unprotected. Rosabella -offered her mite at once. I wish I had followed her example; but, -instead of this, in my eagerness to contribute more substantially to -his relief, I addressed a letter to Lord Fife, whom I had twice met in -Paris, requesting him to take compassion on the unfortunate bearer of -it, who found himself, after enduring the fatigues of a hard campaign -in Spain, deserted in a foreign land, where he was likely to starve, if -none of us came forward with at least so much relief as might enable -him to return to Naples. The poor wretch came to me on the following -morning, with a countenance which appeared the very image of despair. - -"_Helas!_" he exclaimed, "_milord Fife ne m'a rien donne._" - -I then recollected my old _beau_ Wellington, who, I knew, was at that -time our ambassador at Paris, although I had not yet met with him: but I -did not like to intrude myself on his recollection. However, I strongly -advised the poor fellow to explain the real state of his case to His -Excellency, and to acquaint me with the result. - -"_Helas!_" reiterated the Italian, again returning, "_je ne suis qu'un -malheureux. Milord Villainton, ne veut rien faire, pour moi, non plus._" - -Vexed and hurt at the idea of having given the poor fellow so much -useless trouble, I from my own pocket handed him a five-pound note, and -promised my influence with Mr. Henry Brougham, who, with Luttrell and -his brother Nugent, had just arrived in Paris. My application to that -friendly, kind-hearted man was successful, and the next day I presented -a second bank-note for five pounds to my poor _protege_, who seemed -absolutely overcome by excess of gratitude. - -Amy, if I recollect right, came to Paris with Nugent and Luttrell: -at all events if she was not actually the companion of those famous -inseparables, she must have followed them immediately. I remember all -three paying me a visit together, and inviting me to visit them in the -Rue Mont Blanc. - -"What then, do you all live together?" I inquired. - -"We have each separate apartments, in the same hotel," they replied, and -I agreed to call on them. - -As for Meyler, he continued to be all a woman could possibly wish him, -as long as there was rivalry with Lord Ebrington; but, as soon as ever -his lordship had, or seemed to have, relinquished the pursuit, Meyler -left off being amiable by slow degrees, till he became just what he had -been before Ebrington had made an infraction in the complete harmony -of our _menage_. At that time Lord Hertford's remark occurred to me: -"Better live on a bone, than with a man of uneven or bad temper." - -In one of Meyler's fits of dogged humour, he asked me if I imagined he -was vain enough or dupe enough to believe that I had given up such a -man as Lord Ebrington for him? "You know, as well as I do," continued -Meyler, "that you are only making a merit of necessity. Ebrington got -tired of you!" - -I bit my lips with indignation, as ladies are wont to do on these -occasions; but I remained silent, considering that most dignified. At -last I subdued my anger, and held out my hand to him, saying, "Come, -_soyons amis_. It is a great misfortune to yourself that your temper -is so unhappy; and therefore I will try and forgive the torment it -sometimes occasions me. In regard to what you say of my making a -_pis-aller_ of you, it might perhaps not be very difficult to convince -you of the contrary; however of this I do not profess to be certain. At -a word then, shall I try the experiment?" - -"You know I shall not consent or you would not ask me," answered Meyler. - -"Be it so then," retorted I; "be it as you will, only pray, pray, a -little peace if you please, and a little respite from these eternal -quarrels, or part we must and part we will!" - -Again we were friends, _pour le moment,_ and again and again we -quarrelled. Meyler had his fits of good and bad humour alternately. One -hour this peevish, spoiled, provoking little creature would declare that -we would never part, and that he had determined never to marry for my -sake; and the next, he would say that it was not in his nature to be -constant. Sometimes, he would profess to feel respect and friendship -alone for me; but as to passion, or anything like love, that naturally -had gone by long ago: and then he would make strong love to Rosabella. - -I cannot help giving myself some little credit for the patience and -command of temper with which I endured all these taunts. On another -occasion he assured me, in direct contradiction to all this, that I was -so profligate that he could not like or respect me; nay more, it was out -of his power to respect any woman on earth, who had shared her favours -with more than one man, and that the very strong passion I had inspired -him with was his only reason for staying with me. - -I began to grow thin and to lose my appetite owing to the wretched life -I led with Meyler, and I often asked myself why I endured it. I must -have been naturally steadfast in my attachments, or possessed a very -good heart. One of these, I hope, cannot admit of a doubt. At length, -Meyler began to despair of putting me in a passion by anything he -could say on the subject of Lord Ebrington having cut me dead, and of -my having made a merit of returning to him, _faute de mieux_. This was -what his jealous, suspicious temper made him really believe, and he -never gave a woman the credit of any single good motive for what she did -or said. "Perhaps," observed Meyler, in his zeal to tease and provoke, -"perhaps Ebrington likes you still and wishes to visit you, while you -are so excessively cold-blooded as to leave the man you like to stay -with me, because I am so much richer." - -"Which of us two must leave the room?" said I, taking up my bonnet and -ringing my bell in a violent passion. - -Meyler had never seen me so violently disturbed, and half afraid he -might have gone too far, he affected to turn the whole into a mere joke, -when he took leave of me, as he said, to dress for dinner. - -The very instant he had turned his back I wrote a note to Lord -Ebrington, declaring whether he ever wished to see me again or not, -Meyler and I were now really separated: but that it would certainly make -me happy, if he were disposed to convince me he was not offended by what -I said to him at our last meeting, by coming to me directly. - -Lord Ebrington, who lived in my neighbourhood, was at home, and -immediately answered my letter in person. Though his pride had not -permitted him to show any symptoms of regret when he was dismissed, -yet he very willingly expressed his delight and satisfaction at being -reinstated. - -"Meyler has accused me of leaving you, to endure his vile temper, merely -for his fortune, and that accusation has decided the business. I will -therefore receive your visits just as publicly as you please and when -you please, for as long as ever we shall both agree together." - -Ebrington stayed so long with me, that I was obliged to offer him some -of my dinner. In short, difficulties never fail to increase passion even -in the coldest breast. Ebrington however, as a lover, was far from cold -at any time; but a man may possess very warm passions with a cold heart. -Ebrington acknowledged that his heart was cold, at the same time it was -on this day rather unusually warmed. - -"I love heart in women," said Ebrington, "and am grateful when feeling -of any kind is evinced towards me." - -His lordship's extreme gentleness of disposition appeared very -attractive when set in contrast with Meyler's tormenting, dogged humour. -In short, ours bid fair to grow into a strong, mutual fancy, if not to -real, true love, _selon les regles._ - -I could not get Ebrington out of the house. He remained with me from -five in the evening until past three on the following day, when, after -obtaining my promise to receive him again on the same evening, he took -his departure in full dress, having called on me the day before, merely -with the intention to make me a flying visit on his way to a large -dinner-party. Ward, who, as I have before said, had accompanied him to -Paris and lodged with him at the same hotel, entered his room just as -he had sat down to a second breakfast, without changing his white silk -stockings, &c. - -"_Dejeuner restoratif, apparemment?_" said Ward, bowing to him, and -mawkish as this may seem in print, it was certainly the most amusing -attempt at wit I ever heard from that quarter: although Nugent accuses -him of having uttered many more good things. - -Ebrington's pretty cabriolet, which he had sent for, was scarcely driven -from the door when,--enter little Mr. Dick Meyler, M.P. and sugar-baker, -as pale as a ghost! I was really shocked, having seldom seen him look so -ill, and I took hold of his hand, which was as cold as death. - -"Why, Meyler, will you force me from you, if you really have the -smallest attachment for me?" - -"I saw Ebrington's cabriolet, and had no stomach for going out to -dinner yesterday; so down I sat at my window to watch for his -lordship's departure. In about an hour, I saw Ebrington's head put out -of your window to order his servant home. I could not endure solitude; -therefore, I called on a woman in search of consolation; but she wanted -me to make love to her, and I left her in disgust. I then went to -Bradshaw, to whom I related everything. He appeared quite surprised at -the state of agitation you had put me into, declaring that, from all he -had lately observed, he should have firmly believed that I must have -been glad and happy to have got rid of you on such easy terms. I was -angry and disgusted with him for speaking of you in this manner, and I -asked him if he did not think you had used me very ill?" - -"'Why,' answered Bradshaw, 'a handsome, young fellow like you, with more -than twenty thousand a year, ought not to admit that it was in the power -of any woman to use him ill. How the deuce can you fret about one who -thus openly leaves you to intrigue with another man, almost under your -very nose?' - -"'I love her all the better for it; it was a proof of her independence, -and affords me a decided proof that my money may all be d----d for -anything she cares about it.'" - -"You were right there," said I. - -"Well," continued Meyler, "as Bradshaw's conversation afforded me no -comfort, I returned home to Mr. Brown." (He alluded to an elderly -gentleman, a friend and distant relation of his, whom he had invited -to accompany him on the continent.) "Mr. Brown expressed himself much -struck with my agitated manner and appearance, and strongly advised me -to go to bed; but that was impossible. I sat at my window till past two -o'clock in the morning, watching for Lord Ebrington." - -"And did not you then begin to hate me?" I inquired. - -Meyler shook his head, and the tears were actually gathering in his -eyes. - -"What an unaccountable creature is man!" exclaimed I. - -"Ultimately," continued Meyler, "I threw myself on my bed, and fell -into a feverish sleep, during which I dreamed that both you and Lord -Ebrington were trying to destroy me." - -I now felt so tormented between pity for Meyler's unhappiness and -disgust at the idea of being longer the slave of such a temper, which no -kindness or attention could mend, because it was ever misinterpreted, -that I heartily wished Ebrington in Italy, that Meyler might leave me -without fear, to join the Leicestershire hunt, since August was fast -approaching. - -"Anything on earth will I do, for a quiet life," said I to Meyler. -"I have suffered too much already. My nerves and health are nearly -destroyed, and, if this is the perpetual tax upon a little wit or a -little beauty, I would I were a homely idiot and the mistress of some -clean little hut, where people would let me alone. I can do very well -without love, for I can always find plenty of things to laugh at and -amuse myself with, only do for heaven's sake let me alone: for nothing -you can now say or do shall induce me to be tormented with your society." - -"Then I will very soon take my departure for London," answered Meyler, -despondingly, "for I see you are really in earnest. Only promise me that -for the short time I feel under the necessity of remaining in Paris, in -order to give a fair trial to my medical adviser here, of whom I think -highly, not to let me see Ebrington visit you." - -"Indeed, I will not," answered I, feelingly, "and I will advise him to -continue his journey to Italy very shortly. We will correspond with -your permission when you are in town, and yet we may meet as friends. I -sincerely wish you happy; but, my dear Meyler, our feelings, tastes and -characters being so very opposite, added to your extreme irritability -and the very vile opinion you entertain of women, renders it morally -impossible for me to enjoy a single hour's comfort, when you consider -that you have any sort of right over me. For ever and for ever then, we -are now free, mind! and, being free, if the humour seizes us mutually -at any future time, we will meet, without feeling it incumbent on us to -answer a single question as to how we have been employed, or with whom -we have been in love. Indeed, Meyler, you will be happier thus. Don't -fret about impossibilities." - -Meyler was almost convinced that his temper was too bad for my -endurance, and that, in fact, it would be better for both that we -separated, and that I should only receive him as a visitor. Still -Ebrington affected his spirits so terribly, that I was obliged to -promise that he should not for the present visit me. - -"I want rest," said I, "and I cannot be teased just now. _Allez, mon -ami. Amuse toi bien,_ and be sure to tell me when you go to England, -that we may take leave of each other." - -Meyler was no doubt affected, and felt deeply at particular moments; -but he was a hard liver, and his heart was a cold one. He loved riding -and good claret better than the finest woman in the world, so that, the -first burst over, I have no doubt, with Bradshaw's help, with whom I -knew I was no favourite, he soon learned to support the dire calamity -of my loss, assisted by some gay, pretty Frenchwoman, of rather more -refined manners than those of his lost Dulcineas. However that might be, -he never attempted to visit me during another fortnight or more. - -Being tired of the idea of a mere animal, whom I had loved for his -beauty, I began to grow in love with mind. Ebrington passed the whole of -his time with me; but he never brought his cabriolet to my door, and I -strictly enjoined him to watch in every direction for Meyler, before he -ventured to approach my house, in order to spare that little gentleman, -if possible, the disgust of seeing him enter. Much as I abhorred -deception, I considered this a matter of common delicacy towards a man -with whom I had once lived as a wife; but, to have denied myself the -society of a person so very pleasing, merely to gratify Meyler, who had -so coarsely insulted my feelings, I conceived to be quite unnecessary, -particularly as I often observed him go out in his barouche with a -party of male friends, evidently in improved health and tolerable -spirits. Meyler's spirits had never been high since I had known him, -owing, probably to a decayed constitution, for even when I first saw -him, strong and blooming as he seemed to the careless observer, he -had symptoms of decline about him; and one of them was that lovely -transparency of skin and the occasional blue tint of his lips. - -Ebrington and I were excellent companions. We both knew the world -well, and well we both knew how to laugh at it. We often strolled in -the Tuilleries, or down the Champs Elysees. One evening we attempted -to enter the former just as the hour had passed for the admittance of -strangers. - -"_On n'entre pas,_" said the _garde royale,_ pointing his bayonet -fiercely towards the breast of his lordship, who, without advancing or -retreating a single step, fixed his eyes on the man's face and said very -slowly: - -"_Comme il vous plaira! Cela m'est parfaitement indifferent._" The guard -seemed astonished, and I laughed at his lordship's extreme coolness. - -"I take everything in this life coolly," answered Ebrington, "except -you," he added smiling. He then related to me the circumstance of his -having one night gone, with the Hon. John William Ward, to the Salon des -Etrangers, not knowing that an introduction was necessary, when they -were refused admittance. "I, of course," continued Ebrington, "took the -thing very quietly, with my usual _cela m'est infiniment indifferent;_ -but Ward began to bully and make a noise, and swear at them, declaring -that he did too much honour to a mere _tripod de jeu;_ but, for my part, -I thought him so very absurd, that I was ashamed of him: for, if such -was the rule of their house, what were we that should require them to -dispense with it?" - -It was long since I had been fairly and truly in love. I might very -likely have begun again with Lord Ebrington, but that there was a -certain hauteur about his character, added to a disposition to be severe -and satirical, which rendered him at some moments quite odious. _Au -reste_, few men could, when he happened to be in the humour, render -themselves more pleasing to a woman than Lord Ebrington. There was, -indeed, much of true dignity in his carriage, manner, and general -deportment. His countenance bore a strong resemblance to that of the -late John Philip Kemble; but, though I conceive no man alive could be -more handsome than Kemble, yet his lordship's features were perhaps -more delicately turned: in fact, they would, generally, have had more -attraction in a woman's eye, from possessing somewhat more of softness. - -Ebrington, in point of every exterior quality, perhaps too in many of -his general habits, was a model for English noblemen. Nevertheless, -though he never scolded, nor found fault with anybody, he often put -me in a passion. If one kept him waiting, or refused even his most -trifling request, he would not condescend to complain, and yet there -was something about the freezing reserve he assumed on such occasions, -which my pride and feeling could ill brook. There was no affectation in -this; but much genuine, innate pride. His lordship was a connoisseur in -pictures and statues, and a most enthusiastic admirer of Napoleon, to -whom he said he had some idea of paying a visit at St. Helena. In short, -the only time I ever heard Ebrington speak like a man of warm feelings -was one evening as we stood in the Place Vendome canvassing the merits -and the faults of Bonaparte. - -Lord Ebrington having accompanied to the continent a party who were -impatient to be on their road to Italy, after passing a few more weeks -with me began to talk of taking his departure. - -"If we like each other again, we will renew our acquaintance on your -return," said I, "but pray let us make no promises. I am so delighted to -have obtained my liberty, that I am resolved to permit no man on earth -to infringe it." - -Ebrington, with his cold heart and his proud disposition, naturally -loved to feel himself unshackled as well as I did, however he might -regret the idea of leaving me. I think Lady Heathcote was one of -the party he was to accompany to Italy. Ebrington at last took his -leave of me, promising to make Paris in his way back. Our parting was -affectionate: it might have been enthusiastic on my part; but that I -could not help thinking Ebrington naturally selfish. Yet, since I found -him an intelligent, delightful companion, I regretted him for a whole -day and night. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXVI - - -The next morning Meyler entered my room before I was out of bed. - -"Thank God, Ebrington is off for Italy," said he; "and, knowing you were -alone, how could I resist paying you a visit?" - -"I am glad to see you, poor little Meyler; but how very pale you are!" - -"I have had a severe attack of liver," answered Meyler, "which confined -me six days to my bed." - -"Indeed, if I had known that, I would have gone to see you. I thought -you were gone to Brussels or Versailles, when I did not see you pass in -your carriage." - -"I am going to England," said Meyler. "Paris does not agree with me, -neither will I ever again attempt to live with any woman breathing. You -are the first, and shall be the last. I now know myself and my temper, -and feel that my only chance of enjoying health or quiet is in living -alone: my nerves are so terribly irritable." - -"Believe me, Meyler," I answered, "I would never have left you had there -been the slightest hope that my society and attentions could really -contribute to your comfort or happiness. I am naturally affectionate, -and much the creature of habit. Even now, I would make any sacrifice for -you if I could believe it would do you good." - -"I trust we shall always continue friends," said Meyler, holding out to -me his hand, which was, as I believe I have before said, without any one -exception, the most beautiful hand I ever saw in my life. The tones of -his voice, naturally melancholy, were now affectingly so. His eyes were -rather sunk, and his manner and appearance touched me deeply. I burst -into tears! - -He asked me in astonishment what had thus affected me. - -I would not tell him that I thought him dying, so I expressed my regret -that he had not written to me when he was so ill. "Oh!" answered Meyler, -"had we been the best friends in the world, I would not then have -admitted you. I hate anybody to come near me while I suffer pain. Their -pity, or their attention, only makes me worse." - -"I am sure that a hot climate would be of service to you," said I. - -"So I am told," replied Meyler, "but I know my own temper, and that -nothing which disturbs or irritates my nerves can do me any good; -and I hate travelling, and should be out of patience fifty times a -day, with the bad roads and various inconveniences one must encounter -while journeying on the continent: and then, if I am not to hunt in -Leicestershire, I may just as well die at once, since that is the only -pursuit I have, and my stud is the only thing I am not tired of." - -"Thank you," I answered. - -"Oh! perhaps, I still like you; at all events, I like no other woman; -but, the fact is, I am naturally a much better friend to men than to -women; for I believe and put faith in men, while nothing any of you can -say or do ever makes me believe in your affection or sincerity." - -This characteristic answer of Meyler's dried up my tears. "Why should I -fret about this senseless, heartless being?" thought I. - -"You may learn to know and appreciate us better one day or other," I -observed coldly. - -"I shall go to England in three days," said Meyler. "May I see you -constantly till I go?" - -It was not in my power to refuse this request from one whom I fancied -to be dying in the very bloom of youth; and we passed two whole days -together, without once quarrelling. Meyler's late indisposition had, in -fact, left him too weak to contend, while I humoured him as though he -had been a child. - -We slept in separate beds, in the same room; and, on the night previous -to Meyler's departure for England, just as we were composing ourselves -to rest, Lord Ebrington walked up to my bedside! I screamed aloud. -Perhaps I mistook him for a ghost, or, it might be, I dreaded the effect -this _mal a propos_ visit might have on poor Meyler's shattered and -irritable nerves. - -"Dear little Harry, have I frightened you?" said Lord Ebrington, in -speechless dismay. - -I pointed with my finger towards the small French bed, where poor Meyler -was still calmly sleeping, and Lord Ebrington hastily bolted from the -room. I then got out of bed, and, after steadfastly examining Meyler's -features to ascertain that he really slept, seized my lamp, and hastened -to awaken my English maid, who slept in a closet adjoining my bedroom, -which was situated next to the entrance-room. - -I asked her how she came to be so forgetful as to leave the key on the -outside of the ante-room. - -Martha was frightened to death and begged my pardon; hoped nothing had -been stolen. - -"A man has entered our bedroom," answered I, and Martha was thinking -about fainting! - -"Don't faint," said I, "but secure the door instead." I then crept -quietly back to my bed, resolved not to tease poor Meyler by acquainting -him with Lord Ebrington's unexpected return. I however wrote to his -lordship early the following morning, desiring him not to make his -appearance until Meyler should have left Paris. - -For more than a month after Meyler's departure for Melton Mowbray, -I continued in very low spirits about him. Lord Ebrington, after -travelling two whole days along a flat, ugly country, was seized with a -fit of love for me, or disgust of flat countries, I am not sure which. - -"Suppose we turn our horses' heads towards Paris again?" said Lord -Ebrington to Lady Heathcote, on the third morning after they had quitted -that gay delightful city. Now it happened to have been long shrewdly -suspected, that my Lady Heathcote could refuse Lord Ebrington nothing. -However that may be, certain it is, she did not refuse to return to -Paris with the rest of the party, which consisted of--I forget who. - -Ebrington, on the wings of love, flew to his faithful Harriette, whom he -expected no doubt to find like fair Lucretia, surrounded by her virgins, -at their spinning wheels; instead of which--but I told all this before. - -I fancy his vanity was irreparably wounded with what he saw on his -arrival. He had left me in tears, and returned almost under the -impression that he should save me from despair. He was half in love -with me for my tenderness of heart. We might have travelled to Italy -altogether, and I would have rather made the tour of Italy with -Ebrington, than almost anybody I knew, now that he had quarrelled with -Ward, or rather cut and parted company with him. No wonder! who could -travel with Ward? However, Meyler spoiled my preferment with Ebrington -by hurting his lordship's vanity and thus damping all his ardour. - -We passed about a week together, during which time I was continually -talking of poor Meyler and lamenting his precarious state of health. -Ebrington took his leave of me and of Paris. Could I wonder at it? - -To drown care on this terrible occasion, I went to pay Nugent, Luttrell, -and Amy a visit, all under one. There was a smart young Frenchwoman -waiting in Nugent's ante-room, and we rated him most unmercifully about -her. - -"It is invariably the case," said Luttrell with his usual earnestness. - -"Nugent ought really to hire some sort of a cheap machine in the shape -of an equipage, to bring his ladies home in," Amy observed, "for the -poor things look very miserable, arriving always alone and on foot." - -"I have just hired a large light blue coach to contain six of them with -ease. It is rather dirty, and one of the horses is thin and stone-blind, -and the other very lame, so they go extremely well together." - -Amy, in the plentitude of her goodness, actually invited me to dine with -her. She had found out an excellent black-pudding shop, in the first -place; in the second, she wanted me to make her _au fait_ as to what was -going on in Paris, and hoped I would introduce her to some nice men, -or at all events give her a place in my opera-box, when she should be -too poor to hire one for herself. However that might be, I accepted her -invitation, because Luttrell and Nugent were pleasant men, particularly -the former, and I promised to return to them after I had taken my usual -drive in the Bois de Boulogne. - -"What can be the matter with you, Harriette?" Luttrell inquired, "that -you are eternally driving up that long stupid Bois de Boulogne?" - -I replied that I could not live without air. - -"Mercy on me, what a tax upon life!" Luttrell said, turning up his eyes. - -There were, in fact, but few things which Luttrell did not vote a tax on -life, being one of the most dissatisfied men I ever knew. - -We were summoned to the common drawing-room to receive the visit of my -mother. She complained of inflammation in her foot. Nugent prescribed -for her. I was indeed surprised at the very respectful attention he -showed towards her, it was so strikingly polite. As we were not alone, -she soon left us, and I insisted on her taking my carriage, which she -promised to send back for me. - -"I have often wondered," said Nugent, as soon as my mother had left the -room, "how it happened that so very large a family as yours should not -only all be very handsome, but likewise so perfectly lady-like and well -bred. Now it is accounted for: the secret I discovered in your mother. I -have not for many years felt such perfect respect and admiration for a -woman, who at least must be bordering upon fifty. Not only is she still -very handsome and delicate; but there is a certain air of modest dignity -in her manner, which, I believe, the greatest libertine in France could -not fail to be struck with." - -I was more grateful to Nugent than I can describe, for this most warm, -uncalled-for, and spontaneous praise of my mother. I knew he only did -her justice; but how few among the gay and the fashionable, ever think -about doing justice to the excellent qualities of a woman of fifty! - -"Mind you are here by six," said Amy, as I was leaving her; "because, -perhaps, we shall go to the opera, if we can procure a box." - -"_Vous voila,_" said I to myself, and then offered her a place in mine. - -"Do be punctual," added she, "for it is not the fashion to dress -unless when there is a new piece. Come as you are. That is a beautiful -plume of white ostrich-feathers in your bonnet. You are always so very -magnificent. Remember, black-puddings are good for nothing cold. The -French consider them a very _recherche_ dish I assure you, and they are -much more expensive than in town." - -I returned to Amy's just as her black pudding was being served up, and -for once in my life I met Luttrell without Nugent. - -"Nugent is not dead, I hope?" said I. - -"Oh no," answered Amy, "he has just taken out one of his ladies in his -large blue remise." - -"Shocking work!" Luttrell observed, with just as pious a face, turned -towards the ceiling as though he had not lately stepped out of window -for love and regard of that fair she who set his brain a madding. - -Amy was in a great hurry to go to the opera, and we were comfortably -seated in my private box before eight o'clock, and soon visited by my -late, mild, and gentle acquaintance, Lord William Russell, who really -appeared very glad to meet with me. In the room downstairs we mustered a -tolerably brilliant number of _beaux_ about us, for Paris; but Paris was -not London. Among them was Lord Fife, who came sailing towards me the -moment I entered the room. - -"How do you do? How do you do?" said Fife. "Very glad to see you in -Paris. Who would have thought to find you here? By the bye, you sent me -the greatest rogue in the world some time ago, who told me a long story -about having served: all entirely humbug. I know Spain well enough, -and he had never been there in his life. Could not give the least -description of it." - -"I am truly sorry that I threw away five pounds on him then; for I might -have guessed that your kindness would not have refused to assist him if -he had been deserving." - -"I did not refuse," answered Fife. "You know my way, I give to -everybody, good, bad, or indifferent. I gave him ten pounds, and told -him he was the greatest rascal I had ever met with." - -I resolved never to be duped again. - -"May I presume to inquire after the _petite sante_ of Miss Eliza -Higgins?" I asked. - -"Oh! You are always quizzing me," answered Lord Fife, without answering -my question. - -Just as Amy, Luttrell and myself were seated in the carriage, Nugent -came puffing up to it, whispered in my ear, "Beg ten thousand pardons, -Harriette; but want to oblige a lady here, and am going to call on -another. You will infinitely oblige me by setting her down. I know I -take a liberty; but you may take two with me some other time in return." - -It was easy to guess the style of lady who would be at the opera alone, -trusting to chance or Nugent for a conveyance. - -"Agreed," answered I, "so that I may affect not to understand a word of -French." - -"Certainly," said Nugent, handing into my carriage a very gaily dressed -young lady, whom I set down where he directed without exchanging a -single word with her. - -As one always requires a good supper after dining at Amy's expense, I -accepted Luttrell's invitation to eat cold chicken and drink champagne. -During our supper, Amy was entertaining us with the delightful qualities -of one Mr. Grefule, a Swiss banker residing at Paris, whom I thought the -most absurd, affected, mean, contemptible blockhead I had ever met with. -It is true I knew but little about him and cared less, and may have been -mistaken in all but his stinginess, of which I had an opportunity of -judging, having heard that subject discussed by those who knew him well. - -"You surely must be in love with his large property?" said I to Amy. - -"In love with his property! Why is he not an Adonis?" - -Amy's Adonis is a short, thick man, almost a mulatto, with little -purblind eyes and straight, coarse, black hair; and his age at least -five and forty. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXVII - - -The next day, Henry Brougham, M.P., engaged me to dine with him at -Verie's in the Palais Royal. He had invited Nugent and Luttrell to -join us, but not Amy. The shrewd observations which Brougham made -during dinner, on all he had heard and seen in the morning, having -passed several hours of it listening to the debates, _dans la Chambre -des Pairs,_ not only amused, they astonished me. I never yet came in -contact with such a memory as Brougham's in my life. It was not like -Worcester's, gaping wide open, to receive and retain all the trash that -might assail his ears. Brougham caught the substance and pith of what -he heard with peculiar tact, while the prose and folly appeared to have -flitted across his memory but an instant, and then passed away like -chaff, leaving only real matter behind. - -After dinner, we went to witness Talma's performance in one of Racine's -tragedies, Brougham being a very great admirer of French dramatic -poetry. Before we parted, Brougham promised to present me to a very -interesting new acquaintance of his, in the shape of a very fine, -noble-looking, elderly man, whose name I have forgotten. He was a peer -of France, and certainly one of the best bred and most imposingly -respectable men I ever had the good fortune to meet with. He did -Brougham and me the honour to accompany us to the Theatre Francois, and -I saw him depart with feelings of real regret, being well aware that I -was not likely to fall into his society again. - -Brougham I saw very frequently, and I one day took the liberty of -consulting him on the subject of my annuity from the Duke of Beaufort, -which His Grace refused to pay me, owing to my having been induced to -write a few lines to Lord Worcester, contrary to the letter of the bond. - -Brougham said boldly, and at a public dinner-table, that it was a mean, -paltry transaction, the object of the duke being fully obtained by my -final separation from his son, to seize hold of such a pretext for -depriving me of a bare existence. He advised me to bring the cause to -trial by all means; had no doubt of its success; afterwards wrote to -me from England to the same effect, and I showed his letter to young -Montagu, who was a friend of the Duchess of Beaufort, and often on a -visit to her at Badminton. This gay young man was, however, now passing -a few weeks at Paris. - -Before Brougham went to England he very kindly promised to give me every -assistance in his power, provided I would take the advice he so strongly -recommended, of proceeding against his Grace of Beaufort. - -"In the first place," said Brougham, "Lord Worcester could not in common -decency, even supposing it were possible that he wished it--and I will -not for an instant imagine that possible, or in human nature--but even -if he wished to bring your letter, written under such circumstances, in -evidence against you, shame must hold him back." - -Everybody agreed with Brougham. Even his friend Montagu said that, of -course, Lord Worcester would not think of turning witness against me in -a court of justice. That he said was quite out of the question; but he -understood that his evidence on oath would not be required to prove that -I had forfeited the bond. - -I asked Montagu how he could excuse his friend the Duke of Beaufort for -acting so very selfish and mean a part towards me, who had trusted so -entirely to his honour. - -"Why, as for the duke," said Montagu, "he was wholly guided in this -business by Lord Worcester. For my part, I do not want to enter on -the subject of what you may or may not deserve from Lord Worcester; -but this I will say, that be your merits or demerits what they may, I -think Worcester ought not to leave you unprovided for. It was due to -himself and to his high rank after what had passed, that you should not -be thrown upon the wide world, and so I would tell Worcester as I tell -you, were he here at this moment. In Worcester's place I would most -unquestionably have seen you provided for." - -Now it would certainly be very easy for Montagu to deny having uttered -one word of the above; for I cannot prove that he did. Luttrell and -Nugent were present it is true: but this discourse, having been -addressed to me by Montagu, who sat next to me at a dinner, or -evening-party, and in a low voice, they in all probability had something -more pleasant to do than listen to us. Nevertheless, as I believe in -my heart that Edward Montagu is a perfect gentleman, he will not, I -imagine, be ashamed to avow anything he ever said to me on this or any -other subject. - -I was very sorry to lose Brougham's society: his polite attention had -flattered me greatly, and his conversation had been a source of the -highest gratification to me. I disliked the idea of proceeding against -the Duke of Beaufort: however, I promised to take the matter into -serious consideration, and Brougham took his leave of me and of Paris -nearly at the same moment. - -During my stay in Paris Lord Herbert was introduced to me by Mr. -Bradshaw. It was at a large party. I remember that I was very much -struck with Lord Herbert's beauty, for it was generally believed that he -was married to the Duke Spinelli's sister, whose name I have forgotten. -As we had much conversation together, I asked him if this was really the -case. - -"No, to be sure not," answered his lordship, to whom the subject -appeared to be very annoying. "How can you fancy I would marry a d----d -old Italian, old enough to be my mother? She answered my purpose very -well while I was there, and I certainly entertained a violent passion -for her. We, in fact, never met during her husband's existence, but at -the risk of both our lives in the event of a discovery, which was not at -all impossible. Our only place of rendezvous was the garden. The very -night her husband died I made a bet that I would accomplish my wishes as -usual; and I won it." - -Had Lord Herbert's profligacy not been so extravagant, I should probably -have fallen in love with him; but profligacy, and such profligacy, in -a man, was ever disgusting to me. I allude to that bare-faced want of -decency which is in so very bad taste, and more particularly when it is -unaccompanied by wit or humour; for then it appears in all its native -ugliness! Not that I love a saint: but rather something which is most -luxuriously sly and quiet. - -As I was one day taking a solitary drive up the Champs Elysees on my -road to the Bois de Boulogne, the Duke of Wellington galloped past my -carriage. He did look at me; but passing so rapidly I was uncertain -whether he recognised me or not. In another instant he had returned and -was at the side of my carriage. - -"I thought it was you," said Wellington, "and am glad to see you are -looking so beautiful. I'll come and see you. How long have you been in -Paris? When may I come? Where do you live? How far are you going?" - -"Which of these questions do you desire to have answered first, -Wellington?" I inquired. - -"I want to know where you live?" - -"At thirty-five Rue de la Paix." - -"And may I pay you a visit?" - -"When you like." - -"I'll come to night at eight o'clock. Will that suit you?" I assented, -and shook hands with him. His lordship was punctual and came to me in -a very gay equipage. He was all over orders and ribbons of different -colours, bows, and stars, and he looked pretty well. - -"The ladies here tell me you make a bad hand at ambassadorship," said I -to him. - -"How so?" - -"Why, the other day you wrote to ask a lady of rank if you might visit -her, _a cheval?_ What does that mean pray?" - -"In boots, you foolish creature! What else could it mean?" - -"Why the lady thought it just possible that the great Villainton, being -an extraordinary man, might propose entering her drawing-room, on the -outside of his charger, as being the most warrior-like mode of attacking -her heart." - -"You are a little fool," said Wellington, kissing me by main force. - -"And then your routs are so ill conducted, the society so mixed." - -"What is that to me? I don't invite the people. I suppose they ask -everybody to avoid offence. Who the devil was that old woman last -Friday?" - -"What do you mean? I was not there. What sort of an old woman do you -allude to?" I inquired, laughing. - -"An old woman, with a piece of crape hanging down here," said he, -pointing to his breast, "and ragged, red shoes." - -"How am I to know all your ragamuffins?" - -I hope my readers have now had enough of the immortal Wellington. In -short, they must e'en be satisfied, whether they have or not; for they -will get nothing better out of him. - -Wellington was no inducement for me to prolong my stay in Paris, and -as Buonaparte was now on his way from Elba, I began to prepare for my -departure. The English were all hurrying away in a state of great alarm. - -My mother, having settled herself in a small house just out of Paris, -expressed her determination to remain where she was; so did Amy. They -were neither of them in the least alarmed. For my part, besides being -very anxious to see my sister Fanny, my finances required that I should -return to London. - -Before I quit Paris, I must once more revert to the "_comment ca va?_" -of the Prince Esterhazy, who thus addressed me in his usual coarse style -at a masquerade, but without his mask. - -Lord Beauchamp asked His Excellency to remain with me, while he left us -to pay his respects to some old acquaintance. - -In the course of our conversation, the prince let fall a remark which -astonished me. He actually alluded to our former intimacy! - -"What intimacy ever existed between you and me, pray, beyond that of -common acquaintance?" - -"_Est-il possible?_ Did nothing more happen?" - -"Do you doubt it still?" - -"To be sure. I really thought I had been your favoured lover for some -time, when I was last in England!" - -"Your intrigues then are so frequent, that you forget with whom they -occur it should seem?" - -Esterhazy laughed with the most perfect self-complacency. - -I met the Prince in the New Road, at the outskirts of London, some time -afterwards. He pulled up his horse, to inquire about my health and learn -where I was to be found. I gave him a very incorrect address, and his -groom had on the following day failed to find me out. The prince then -set off in his curricle, to search for me himself, and, having found a -house in the neighbourhood where I had formerly lived, he wanted the -owners to take charge of a letter for me, which was rudely refused. On -the third day, the prince's servant was again despatched on the same -errand, and he was at last successful. - -"I have been two whole days vainly endeavouring to find you out, -madam," said the servant, while delivering into my hands the prince's -note, which contained an earnest request for me to appoint an hour to -receive his visit. - -I named Sunday at two o'clock, and immediately handed over his note to -Mr. Livius, the amateur play-writer, French horn-blower, lady-killer, -&c. He joined with me in anxious surprise, at what this sudden -_impressement_, of a man who for years had been in the constant habit of -meeting me in public, could mean. - -On Sunday morning, it so happened that Livius wanted me to read my -translation of Moliere's play to him. - -"But the German prince?" said I. - -"Oh never mind a German prince! I'll wait in the parlour while you speak -to him, in case he should have any secret communication to make to you." - -Livius called at one o'clock, and, just as I was about to begin my play, -Esterhazy drove up to my door. - -Livius saw him from the window, and went down into the parlour. - -The prince entered and, throwing off his large German cloak, shook hands -with me. - -"Prince," said I, "I know you don't come here to make love to me, which -knowledge renders me the more curious to learn what you do come here -for." - -"Why," said the prince, "I have a high opinion of you, and always had." - -I bowed. - -"In short, I have great confidence in you, and think you a very clever -good creature, besides that you speak and write such excellent French." - -"True, prince! I remember that, presuming on this good opinion of -yours, some time ago I ventured to address a letter to you in French, -requesting you for old acquaintance' sake to send me a little cash, of -which I stood much in need; but neither my excellent French nor all my -other charming qualities to boot could excite in you the least desire to -serve me." - -"Quite the contrary," said the prince, "nothing will give me greater -pleasure." - -"Indeed! Why they say you are at all times the most stingy rich man in -Europe." - -"I assure you, Harriette," answered the prince, "that you can have -no conception of the vast number of letters I receive containing -applications for money. It is indeed quite impossible to satisfy them -all: but, as to you, as a proof of my goodwill, I beg you to accept what -I happen to have about me." - -He took out his pocket-book and presented me with a ten-pound note! - -This Prince Esterhazy was nothing to me, and never had been, nor could -be but a common acquaintance; so I thought I might just as well buy -myself some little trinket with his magnificent donation as refuse to -accept it. - -"It is all I happen to have about me," said the prince, observing that I -blushed for him, not for myself, at the insignificance of the sum; "but, -rely on my future friendship. I am going to point out to you how we may -serve each other very effectually. I want a friend like you. It is what -I was always accustomed to have in Paris. In short, I want to make the -acquaintance of some interesting young ladies. I hate those which are -common or vulgar; now you could make a party here in this delightful, -pretty cottage, and invite me to pay my court to any young lady of your -acquaintance, perhaps your sister!" - -"Do you allude to an innocent girl, prince?" said I; "and do you really -imagine that, for all your fortune, paid to me twice over, I would be -instrumental in the seduction of a young lady of education? And, if I -would, would you not yourself scruple, as a married man, to be the cause -of misery to a poor young creature?" - -"There are many girls who determine on their own fall," said Esterhazy. -"All I want is that, when you see them going down, you will give them a -gentle push, thus," said he, "to accelerate their fall," making signs, -with his hand, on my shoulders. - -"Prince," I replied, "I will never injure a woman while I breathe, and -I will assist and serve those of my own sex whenever I can, as I always -have done. No innocent girl, however inclined she may be to fall, shall -receive the push you suggest from me. On the contrary, I will always -lend my hand, as I did to my sister Sophia, to try to prevent her from -falling, or to lift her up again. If I knew a poor young creature, -deserted by her friends and her seducer, and you would make a provision -for her during her life, I would for her sake, not for yours, perhaps -present her to you." - -"Perhaps I would make a settlement on her," said Esterhazy; "but mind, -she must be very young, very fair, and almost innocent." - -"The only person I know who exactly answers your description, and for -whom as a poor deserted orphan it would be a charity to provide, is in -Paris." - -"She might just as well be in the East Indies," said Esterhazy. - -"Why you are like the princess in Tom Thumb! And all the while you have -the enjoyment of the most beautiful wife in Europe!" - -"Oh Harriette! a wife is altogether so very different from what is -desirable, no sort of comparison can be made with them; but," continued -His Excellency, taking up his cloak, "I cannot possibly stop now, -because I must meet His Majesty at this very hour. Tell me the best time -to find you and I will come often. In the meantime, pray write to me. -You shall see me very soon:" and he hurried away. - -In two days he came to me again, in a dirty great coat, all over wet and -mud, just at my dinner-time. He placed himself before my fire so that -I could not see a bit of it, with his hat on, and declared he was much -disappointed at not having heard from me. - -"Take your hat off, prince," said I. - -"I never take it off, nor behave differently to the first duchess in -the land! It is my way. I cannot alter it. I am too old to mend. I saw -two of the most lovely sisters, walking with their mothers to-day. They -would not measure round the waist more than so much"--describing to me -the circumference with his hands. "I watched them home, to No.-- in -----Street. Do pray contrive to get acquainted with them." - -"You had better leave my house," said I, beginning to be truly disgusted -at the very honourable employment which this princely representative of -Imperial dignity, morality, disinterestedness, and humanity wished to -force upon me. - -"At all events, take off your hat, prince, and let me see the fire!" - -"I tell you I will do no such thing," asseverated the prince, with the -dignified positiveness of his own imperial master. - -"_Ou otes ton chapeau, monsieur le prince, ou va-t-en au diable! comme -je t'ai dis auparavant,_" said I, in a passion. - -"_Je prendrai le dernier parti,_" said the prince, leaving the room. - -"_Et tant mieux,_" I observed to him, as he went downstairs. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXVIII - - -I am indeed most inexcusably forgetful, I should otherwise have -described, in its proper time and place, that famous masquerade which -was given by the members of Wattier's club, to all the nobility in -England, in honour of peace between Great Britain and France, which -occurred prior to my leaving England. It was the most brilliant -assemblage I had ever witnessed. Amy, Fanny, and I were promised tickets -from the very beginning; but poor Julia was not popular. After making -vain applications to half the town, and to all the members of the club -who were stewards of the feast, she at last addressed herself to Lord -Hertford. - -"I am not a member of Wattier's; therefore I cannot obtain a lady's -ticket for you," said his lordship; "but, if you like to go in boy's -clothes, I have one at your disposal; but not transferable, mind." - -Julia was very shy and did not like boy's clothes; but Julia's legs -were perhaps the handsomest in Europe, and then Julia knew there was -no remedy: so, after accepting Lord Hertford's polite offer with many -thanks, I accompanied her to Mr. Stultze, the German regimental tailor -and money-lender in Clifford Street. - -It was just before I left England for Paris. I cannot think why I am so -very careless as not to put more order into my _Memoirs_. However, when -a person gives a bad dinner, and apologises for not giving you a better, -the apology is always more insufferable than the dinner. - -We asked Stultze's advice about a modest disguise for Julia, and he -referred us to a book full of drawings therein exhibited, the dress -of an Italian or Austrian peasant-boy and girl, I forget which; but I -remember that Julia wore black satin small-clothes, plaited very full, -round the waist, _a la Cossaque_, fastened tight at the knee, with a -smart bow, fine, black, transparent silk stockings, black satin shoes, -cut very short in the quarters, and tied with a large red rosette, a -French cambric shirt, with beautifully small plaited sleeves, a bright -blue, rich silk jacket without sleeves, trimmed, very thick, with -curiously wrought silver bell-buttons, and a plain, round black hat, -with a red silk band and bow. - -I, as Julia's fair companion, was to wear a bright, red, thick silk -petticoat, with a black satin jacket, the form of which was very -peculiar and most advantageous to the shape. The sleeves were tight, and -it came rather high upon the breast. It was very full-trimmed, with a -double row of the same buttons Julia wore. My shoes were black satin, -turned over with red morocco; my stockings were of fine blue silk, -with small red clocks; my hat was small, round, and almost flat, the -crown being merely the height of a full puffing of rich pea-green satin -ribbon. The hat was covered with satin of the same colour, and placed on -one side at the back of the head. The hair was to fall over the neck and -face in a profusion of careless ringlets, and, inside my vest, an Indian -amber-coloured hankerchief. - -Stultze brought home our dresses himself in his tilbury, on the -morning of the masquerade, being anxious that we should do him credit. -Everything fitted us to a hair. The crowd was expected to be immense, -and we were advised to get into our carriage at five in the afternoon, -as, by so doing, we should stand a chance of arriving between nine and -ten o'clock, at which hour the rooms were expected to be quite full. - -Fanny chose the character of a country house-maid. She wore short -sleeves to show her pretty arms, an Indian, glazed, open, coloured gown, -neatly tucked up behind, a white muslin apron, coloured hankerchief, -pink glazed petticoat, and smart, little, high, muslin cap. - -What character in the name of wonder did Amy choose? That of a nun, -forsooth! - -We were actually on our road, seated in the carriage, from the hour -of five till nine. At last we arrived and were received at the first -entrance-room by the Dukes of Devonshire and Leinster, dressed in light -blue dominos. They were unmasked, this being the costume fixed on for -all the members of Wattier's club. No one else was to be admitted but in -character. The newspapers described this most brilliant fete in glowing -colours long ago, and much better than I can do it; I will therefore -merely state that it exceeded all my highest flights of imagination, -even when, as a child I used to picture to my fancy the luxurious -palaces of the fairies described in my story-books. - -One of the immense suite of rooms formed a delicious, refreshing -contrast to the dazzling brilliancy of all the others. This room -contained, in a profusion almost incredible, every rare exotic root -and flower. It was lighted by large, ground-glass, French globe-lamps, -suspended from the ceiling at equal distances. The rich draperies -were of pale green satin and white silver muslin. The ottomans, which -were uniformly placed, were covered with satin to correspond with the -drapery, and fringed with silver. Mixing carelessly in the motley -throng, I did not discover this charming spot till I had been there some -time. - -On our entrance, the Duke of Devonshire presented us with tickets for -a raffle. "These," said His Grace bowing low, without in the least -guessing who we were, "these tickets will entitle you to one chance each -in the lottery, which will commence drawing at twelve o'clock." - -The two best characters in my opinion, were the Honourable Douglas -Kinnaird as a Yorkshireman in search of a place, and Colonel Armstrong -as an old, stiff, maiden-lady of high rank in the reign of Queen -Anne. He wore no mask; but his face, though curiously patched and -painted, was easily known. He sat on a bench, with his hoops and -ruffles and high powdered head, his point laced lappets, &c., fanning -himself, and talking to his young maids of honour, who sat, one on each -side of him. Everybody who passed stopped to examine him with much -doubtful curiosity, which was constantly followed by a loud laugh, and -exclamations of, "It is Colonel Armstrong!" "Ha! ha! ha!" "Capital." -Those who could command their countenances among the ambassadors, and -men who bore high characters, for that night at least, addressed him in -the most obsequious manner, with "I hope your ladyship caught no cold at -Lady Betty's last night. Immense crowd! Charming evening!" - -Armstrong answered all these orations, sticking close to the character -and with the most dignified politeness, while the loud, vociferous roars -of laughter, which were bestowed on his successful efforts to make -himself so very ridiculous, never once tempted him to move a single -visible muscle of his odd countenance. - -One of his lace lappets came unpinned. - -"I'll trouble you for a pin, my dear," said Armstrong to one of his -attendant maidens. - -"I have not got one," answered the fair virgin, in confusion. - -She was, if I remember rightly, a young rake of fashion thus disguised. - -"Oh fie, child! You ought always to have your pincushion about you. -Always, always, child!" fanning himself with increased rapidity. - -Douglas Kinnaird was unfeelingly severe on almost everybody in their -turn. To one gay fashionable mother, whose name I have forgotten, he -said, "Why Missis, you've been hawking them girls all over the world -for these last six years, and sin they be made to hong upon hond like, -mayhap they'd go off better all of a lump, if you was to tie um up in -bunches you see, as they do cherries, look ye. I manes no offence." - -Fanny, in her housemaid's dress, and with her natural, lively humour, -made an excellent companion for Kinnaird, who appeared much pleased with -her and delighted to draw her out, although he had not any idea who she -was. The fact is, we had determined not to unmask or make ourselves -known to anybody during the whole evening. - -Meyler looked very interesting and handsome, in his blue domino of rich -Gros de Naples. I had given him leave to find me out if he could, and I -guessed that he was busily but vainly employed in the pursuit. I waltzed -and danced quadrilles with half the young ladies and gentlemen in the -room. - -"Is that a boy, or a girl, think you?" was the question from every -mouth, as Julia and I passed them. "The leg is a boy's, the finest I -ever saw," said one; "but then that foot, where shall we find a boy with -such delicate feet and hands?" Still it remained a puzzle, and everybody -seemed undecided as to the sex of Julia. - -"Who can they be?" said Mrs. Scott Waring to Berkeley Craven. - -"I want to know myself," answered he; "for I am in love with the lady's -feet." - -"I think they are both ladies," returned Mrs. Scott Waring. - -"Pray who made that lovely shoe to fit that pretty foot so charmingly?" -Berkeley Craven asked me. - -I was determined not to open my lips, lest my voice should betray me to -Berkeley Craven. - -"We are admiring your feet and ankles," said Mrs. Scott Waring, -addressing herself to me; but I was still dumb, preferring the idea of -passing for a fool, to the risk of making myself known. At last, Meyler -discovered my sister Fanny by her voice. - -"Pray point out Harriette to me," said Meyler, "for I am tired and worn -out with my fruitless search." - -"That is Harriette," answered Fanny, directing his attention to a young -flower-girl who, with her disguised mincing voice, kept him a quarter -of an hour in suspense, before he could ascertain the joke Fanny had -practised against him; and it took him a second quarter of an hour to -find Fanny again. - -"Oh you little, wicked, provoking creature!" exclaimed Meyler, at -length, catching hold of her hand. "I now vow and declare not to -relinquish this fair hand until you conduct me to your sister." - -"Upon my word and honour that nun is my sister," answered Fanny, leading -him towards Amy, who was standing near her in conversation with Colonel -Armstrong. - -"Thank you," said Meyler, releasing Fanny's hand in his zeal to join the -nun. - -Fanny was out of sight in one instant, and, in the next, Meyler had -discovered his mistake and resumed his pursuit of her. - -"Why is this unusual pressure of company?" I inquired of a gay captain -of Italian banditti with whom I had been waltzing. It was owing to the -raffle! Having been absolutely carried along by the immense concourse -of ladies, we came up close to Lord Kinnaird, who was dealing out the -blanks and prizes. - -"Nay, don't push forward so, ladies," said his lordship, "now, pray, -really, I must beg. This is almost unladylike. Patience then! Ladies, -I cannot endure this pressure. Ladies, I must retire. Ladies, I am -overpowered," and he handed some one a small French prize; to Fanny a -pretty brooch; to me, a blank. "Ladies, I never knew ladies so violent -and rude before." - -Poor man! He might well complain, supposing he had been the meekest of -Christians, which is not exactly the case: for never was poor knight of -the ladies so hemmed in, squeezed and teased. - -Lord Kinnaird is not, I have heard say, a popular man; but as I have -always seen him pleasant and gentlemanly, except when fair ladies tried -to squeeze the breath out of his body, it gives me pleasure to assert -that I cannot help thinking favourably of him, notwithstanding he -admired my sister Amy infinitely more than me. - -William Lamb, who is very handsome, wore a magnificent Italian dress, -supported no character, and looked so stupid, I could not help fancying -that Lady Caroline had insisted on his showing himself thus beautiful, -to gratify her vanity: for, to do William Lamb justice, his character is -in truth a manly one, and I will venture to say this said tawdry dress -was never one of his own choosing. - -I know not how I came to lose my party, just as the grand supper-rooms -were thrown open to accommodate, as I should guess, at the least five -thousand people. I was in a great fright lest I should lose my supper. -The rooms were suddenly deserted. I found myself alone; but it was only -for an instant. A gentleman, in a rich white satin, Spanish dress, and -a very magnificent plume of white ostrich-feathers in his hat, suddenly -seized me in his arms, and forcing over my chin my mask, which was -fastened loosely to admit of air, pressed his lips with such ardour to -mine that I was almost suffocated; and all this without unmasking, but -merely by raising for an instant, the thick black crape, which fully -concealed the lower part of his face. I would have screamed, but from a -dread of what might follow. - -"This is most unmanly conduct," said I, as soon as I could recover my -breath. - -"My dear, dear, sweet, lovely Harriette," said the mask, "I implore your -forgiveness of a poor married wretch, who hates and abhors the wife whom -circumstances oblige him to fear. I have been mad for you these five -years. I knew you were here, and how could I fail to discover you? I -shall never on earth have such another opportunity, and I had taken an -oath to press my lips to yours as I have now done, before I died." - -"I believe this to be all nonsense," answered I, "so pray tell me who -you are." - -"So far from it," answered the mask, with mysterious earnestness, "that, -after what has passed, were you to discover me I would blow my brains -out." - -"Not surely, if I were secret as the grave itself?" - -"I would not trust you! But come, I am keeping you from your supper. I -accompanied my wife in the disguise of an Italian monk, and having only -this instant changed it for the gay one I now wear, I will venture to -hand you down to supper, and place you at the greatest distance from my -own family; but I entreat one more kiss, dear Harriette, and if ever the -fates make me free then you shall not doubt my affection. The feelings -you have inspired in me are unaccountable, even to myself. I am in love -with your character." - -"Are you old?" - -"Guess my age," answered the mysterious mask. - -"To judge of you by the nonsense you talk, I should say twenty; but by -your voice, your hands, and your person, I should say five and thirty." - -"No matter which," said the mask, sighing, or making a feint to sigh. -I do not pretend to say it was a true, genuine sigh! "No matter; for I -shall, I fear, never enjoy your society more." - -I liked his voice, and there was something romantic throughout this -little adventure which pleased me. I was in high spirits, and the mask's -beautiful dress was set off by a very fine person: and so, when he again -insisted on more kisses, I candidly confess I never once dreamed of -calling out murder. - -"Come," said the mask at last, dragging me hastily towards the supper -rooms, "you shall not lose your supper for such an insignificant wretch -as I am: and yet, had I known you before my marriage, my dearest and -most generous of all human beings, you should never have been exposed -to the cold-blooded, unfeeling wretches, who have always taken such an -unfair advantage of you." - -"Why be a slave to any unamiable woman?" I inquired. - -"Political necessity," replied the mask, in a low whisper. - -"Do you think I believe all this incredible, romantic nonsense? Why you -are some strolling player perhaps!" - -"No matter: for we are not likely to meet again," the mask said coldly. - -"I am glad," added he, "that the little you have heard and seen of me is -disagreeable to you; for, neither wife nor children nor politics should -have kept me from Harriette Wilson, if it had been possible for her to -have loved me only half as much as she once loved----" he paused. - -"Who?" - -"Ponsonby." - -"Do you know Lord Ponsonby?" I inquired, with surprise. - -"It is of no consequence. You are losing your supper. I will conduct you -to your own party." - -The mask now hurried me along so fast, that I arrived at the table -panting for breath. - -"Make room for your sister," whispered the mask in Fanny's ear, as soon -as he approached her, and the next moment we were both seated. - -"Is there nothing in the tone of my voice or in my manner which seems -familiar to you?" questioned the mask, in a low voice. - -"Nothing, positively." - -"And my kisses? Think you that you felt them to-night for the very first -time in your life?" - -I started, and threw a hasty earnest glance on the person of the -stranger; for there had indeed seemed magic in his kiss; and, while his -lips were pressed to mine, I did think on Ponsonby, yet it was quite -impossible that this should have been his lordship, who was I knew on -the continent. Neither was it his voice nor his person. - -"Tell me; did you several times receive money sent to you in a blank -envelope by the post?" - -"And was it you who----?" - -"No, not I," interrupted the mask. "A mere accident made me acquainted -with the circumstance, and yet I am always near you, I watch over you -like a poor wretch, as I am," said he, seizing my hand, and, pressing -his lips most ardently on every part of it, he arose from the supper -table and was out of sight in an instant. - -Before I could recover my astonishment, a man habited as a friar came -towards me, and bending his head close to my ear said, in a tremulous -voice, affected by real agitation, or, if otherwise, it was excellent -acting, "Farewell, daughter! Every night I shall fervently pray that you -and I may love each other in a better world!" It was the stranger-mask, -who again vanished from my sight never to return. - -I soon forgot this odd adventure; because I was not so radically vain -as to conceive it possible that I could have excited such deep interest -in the breast of any individual, as could thus survive hope and feed on -air! "It is a mere masquerade-trick, got up to perplex me; so I'll e'en -not puzzle about it," thought I. - -"Have you everything that you require, at this end of the table?" said -Meyler, passing close to me, and bowing with distant respect; for the -table was so excessively crowded, and there were so many more housemaids -in nearly the same costume as Fanny, that he passed her without -observing his late tormentor, otherwise he might have guessed that I -could not be far off. - -Douglas Kinnaird kept up his character the whole of the evening, and -contributed much to our amusement during supper. This consisted of every -rare delicacy, in and out of season. The wines were delicious, and the -members of Wattier's club were as attentive to us as though they had -all been valets, and bred up to their situations like George Brummell, -who, by the bye, was the only exception. Instead of parading behind our -chairs to inquire what we wanted, he sat teasing a lady with a wax mask, -declaring that he would not leave her till he had seen her face. - -I love a masquerade; because a female can never enjoy the same liberty -anywhere else. It is delightful to me to be able to wander about in a -crowd, making my observations, and conversing with whomsoever I please -without being liable to be stared at or remarked upon, and to speak to -whom I please, and run away from them the moment I have discovered their -stupidity. Fanny was very angry with me for running away from her after -supper; but I was in my glory, and determined to enjoy myself in perfect -freedom. I chatted with everybody who addressed me, just long enough to -ascertain that they were uninteresting people. - -At last I found myself in the still quiet room I have before described. -It was entirely deserted, save by one solitary individual. He was -habited in a dark brown flowing robe, which was confined round the waist -by a leathern belt, and fell in ample folds to the ground. His head was -uncovered, and presented a fine model for the painter's art. He was -unmasked, and his bright penetrating eyes seemed earnestly fixed, I -could not discover on what. "Surely he sees beyond this gay scene into -some other world, which is hidden from the rest of mankind," thought I, -being impressed, for the first time in my life with an idea that I was -in the presence of a supernatural being. His attitude was graceful in -the extreme. His whole countenance so bright, severe, and beautiful, -that I should have been afraid to have loved him. - -After watching his unchanged attitude for nearly ten minutes, I -ventured to examine that side of the room towards which his fine head -was directed; but there was nothing visible at all likely to fix the -attention of any one after the first _coup d'oeil_. "Can this be a mere -masquerade-attitude for effect, practised in an empty room?" though I, -being almost convinced that I had not been observed. His age might be -eight and twenty, or less; his complexion clear olive; his forehead -high; his mouth, as I afterwards discovered, was beautifully formed, -for at this moment the brightness of the eyes and their deep expression -fixed the whole of my attention. "Surely that man's thoughts are -occupied with intense interest, on something he sees, which is beyond -our common sight or conception," said I, encouraging the mysterious -turn of ideas which had obtained the mastery over my imagination: and I -will speak to him. I approached slowly, and on the points of my feet. -The stranger seemed not to have observed me; for he did not change his -position, nor did his eyes move from their fixed and penetrating gaze -on what seemed but space and air, until I came up, close to him, and -addressed him thus: - -"I entreat you to gratify my curiosity. Who and what are you, who appear -to me a being too bright and too severe to dwell among us?" - -He started violently, and reddened, while he answered rather peevishly, -"You had better bestow your attention on some one more worthy of you, -fair lady. I am a very stupid masquerade-companion;" and he was going -away. - -"Listen to me," said I, seizing one of his beautiful little hands, urged -on by irresistible curiosity, "whoever you are, it is clear to me, that -my intrusion bores you; but it cannot be more annoying to you than your -running away will be to me. Do not torment me, to secure to yourself a -moment's ease. I promise to leave you at liberty in one quarter of an -hour; nor will I insist on your disclosing your name, and I promise you -shall not know mine." - -The stranger hesitated. - -I had addressed him in French; because I wore a foreign costume, and had -promised Meyler, when he presented me with a ticket, that I would remain -the whole evening _incognita._ - -The stranger hesitated. - -"Don't you understand French?" I inquired. - -"Perfectly." - -"Well then, take out your watch. In one quarter of an hour you shall be -free from all my persecution; but, give me that time, pray do!" - -"Agreed," said the stranger smiling, as he gracefully offered me his arm. - -"This," said I, pressing the arm I had taken, "this seems, I am sorry to -say, to be mere solid flesh and blood. I had fancied----" - -"What?" - -"Why," continued I, half ashamed of myself, "upon my word and honour, I -do confess I thought you something supernatural!" - -The stranger's countenance brightened, and he asked me eagerly if I had -ever seen him before. - -"Never, nor am I naturally superstitious or weak." - -"I am not much like the world, I believe," said the stranger; "but I am -merely one of ye." - -"Does not that satisfy you?" I inquired. - -"No; I would be more or less: anything rather than myself; but what is -all this to you? Are you a Frenchwoman?" - -"No; English." - -"Nonsense!" - -"Fact, upon my word." - -"Well then, let me hear you speak in your own language?" - -"Excuse me." - -"_Allons_! I like even an Englishwoman better than a Frenchwoman. -Not, I assure you, from any national prejudice in their favour; but, -Frenchwomen are my aversion, generally speaking." - -"No matter, I do not require you to like me, for you are too handsome to -love in vain." - -"What! Then you really could not return my passion?" - -"No, upon my word; and yet your countenance is magnificently beautiful!" - -"So much the better," answered he; "for I am sick to death of woman's -love, particularly to-night." - -I looked at the stranger with earnest curiosity. - -"You are what most ladies would call very conceited and impertinent, -but I can forgive you; because I have not discovered any affectation in -your manner, and you appear to speak as you feel, and to feel like a -man whose natural superiority has made him despise and look down on the -common every-day blessings of life." - -"Perhaps you are right, and no doubt I have been very rude: but then you -really struck me as rather a sensible girl, and, if so, you will not -like me the worse for saying whatever comes into my head, just as it may -occur. Why did you make believe to be English?" - -"An Englishwoman would have had too good taste not to have fallen in -love with you, perhaps you mean; but," added I, in English, "the fact -is, I am English: nevertheless, I could not love you, though you were to -break your heart about it." - -"Who can you be?" said the stranger, in evident surprise, "and why, if -you dislike me, were you so very desirous to speak to me?" - -"Who on earth could dislike you? Now would I forswear love, which has -hitherto been my all, to follow you to banishment or to death, so that -I could be considered your equal, worthy to be consulted by you as a -friend; for, though I do not know you, yet I guess that you are on earth -and that there's nothing like you. I could pity you, for your fifty -thousand weaknesses and errors, adore your talents, and----" - -"Here is a high flight," interrupted the stranger, "I can now guess who -you are; but dare not name the person I take you to be, lest I offend. -Yet," and he paused to examine my person and my feet, "yet, it is -impossible it can be anybody else. Why did you affect not to know me? -Was it one of my weaknesses you wanted to humour, by appearing to guess -me something out of the common way?" - -"Indeed I do not know you: and it has only this instant struck me, for -the first time, that you must be Lord Byron, whom I have never seen." - -"And you are Harriette Wilson." - -We shook hands cordially. - -"I know you hate me, Lord Byron," said I. - -"On the contrary, upon my word, you inspired me with a very friendly -disposition towards you at once. I was in the humour to quarrel with -everybody, and yet I could not resist offering you my arm." - -"You did not, I fear, believe in women's friendship and affection, -towards men they could not love." - -"Why could not you love me? Mind, I only ask from curiosity." - -"It is a foolish question." - -"I agree with you. Love comes on, we know not why nor wherefore, for -certain objects, and for others never will come." - -"And yet, I think, I can describe why I could never entertain anything -like passion for you. Your beauty is all intellectual. There is nothing -voluptuous in the character of it. Added to this, I know that such a man -as you are, ought not, or if he ought, he will not, make woman his first -pursuit; and, to love at all, he must feel pride in the object of his -affections. I might excite your passions; but then, such contempt as you -have lavished on poor Lady Caroline Lamb would kill me." - -"Is there any sort of comparison to be made between you and that mad -woman?" Lord Byron asked. - -"No matter! I would never put myself in the power of a man who could -speak thus of any lady whom he had once professed to love." - -"How do you know I ever did?" - -"Those letters, in her ladyship's novel, _Glenarvon,_ are much in -your own style, and rather better than she could write. Have you any -objection to tell me candidly whether they are really your originals?" - -"Yes! they are. But what of that? Is it not absurd to suppose that a -woman, who was not quite a fool, could believe in such ridiculous, -heartless nonsense? Would not you have laughed at such poetical stuff?" - -"Certainly. Those letters would have done more to convince me of your -perfect indifference, than even your silence and neglect. Nobody ever -did or can impose upon me by a heartless love-letter. _Quand le coeur -parle, adieu l'esprit._ It is, in fact, almost impossible to compose -anything, which has a resemblance to strong feeling, when one is -addressing a person towards whom our heart is cold." - -"I am glad we agree on one point. Now, with regard to my various errors, -of which you have been pleased to make mention." - -"I did not do so to wound or to vex;" interrupted I, "but you are too -touchy and susceptible. I am surprised at what, when carried to excess, -I conceive to be the defect of a little mind. However, much may be said -in extenuation of your sensitiveness; because you are in ill-health, and -may be blue-devilled, when you see things in such a sickly light, or -suspect persons of meaning to insult your feelings, when they perhaps -never once thought about you in their lives." - -"You use me worse than anybody, and yet, touchy as I am, I really like -you, because I feel the conviction, that you would sacrifice your own -interest to do me good: and, suspicious as you are pleased to describe -me, I am convinced that there is nothing you could ever say or do to me, -but I should take as I know it would be meant, in good part. You have -perhaps the sort of plain understanding which would serve to make me -better; but you could not live with me or endure much of my society. I -am, in short, determined that you shall like me all my life, and I know -myself too well to believe that to be possible, were you to see me at -all times." - -"As you please. Remember I am always, while I live, your faithful -friend, proud when you will employ me or invite me near you, yet -submitting to your better judgment with philosophic cheerfulness, -whenever you may desire my absence." - -"I thank you very sincerely," said Lord Byron, pressing my hand with -much friendly warmth. - -"You must be ill or unhappy, when you are so violent and gloomy," I -continued, "and, while your genius is delighting all the world, it is -hard, and deeply I lament, that you do not enjoy such calm tranquil -thoughts, as I shall pray may yet be yours." - -"Who shall console us for acute bodily anguish?" said Lord Byron, in a -tone of wild and thrilling despondency. "But," added he hastily, "you -are a dear, good-natured creature to waste the gay fleeting pleasures of -this evening, in listening to the despair of a wretch like me." - -I pressed his hand to my heart because being masked, I could not kiss it. - -"I seldom have intruded my wretchedness on others," said Lord Byron. - -"A thousand thanks, my dear Lord Byron. You do, I know, feel sure of my -heart. We are all more or less subject to bodily sufferings. Thank God, -they will have an end." - -"And what then?" inquired his lordship. - -"We will hope, at least, that bodily pain and anxiety shall cease with -our lives. This, surely, is a reasonable hope. In the meantime, yours -cannot be all made up of bitterness. You have enjoyed exquisite moments -of triumphs, and you have written the _Corsair!_" - -"True! I cannot deny that my sensations are sometimes enviable. You have -already done me good, and you and I are now, I hope, sworn friends. -Something has this day ruffled me beyond my stock of patience. I must -leave you; but we shall meet again, and you will let me hear from you I -hope. Or, do you mean to forget me? I may not long continue in the same -country with you; but wherever I am, it will console me to know that I -am remembered kindly by you." - -"Do you wish to leave me now, then?" I asked. - -"Yes." - -"Thank you for being candid, and God bless you, dear Lord Byron," said -I, this time raising up my mask, that I might press his hand to my lips. - -"_Amuse toi, bien, mon enfant_," said Lord Byron, drawing away his hand -from my mouth, to give me an affectionate kiss. - -I saw no more of him for that evening; but I offered up a fervent, -short, ejaculatory prayer to Heaven, for this interesting young man's -better health, and then joined the noisy merry throng in the adjoining -rooms. - -A party of high-bred young ladies, with whom I had danced before supper, -came round me, and asked me if I was too tired for a quadrille. "But -do, for heaven's sake, take off your mask, child: it really is such -affectation! What are you afraid of? I am sure you cannot be so very -ugly as to be ashamed of your face, with those bright hazel eyes, and -all that fine hair!" - -"Come," said another, "let me untie your ugly mask; we are all so tired -of looking at the nasty simpering expression of it." - -While I was defending my mask Fanny passed me, followed by Meyler, who -was still tormenting her to tell him under what disguise he must look -for me. - -"There," said Fanny, "Harriette is among those ladies. There are not -more than eight or ten of them, and I declare to you that I will not -point out Harriette from the rest, say or do what you will." Meyler, -in his anxiety to make us all speak to him, suffered Fanny to depart -in peace. He did not once address me, but stood puzzling between -a gipsy-girl and a flower-girl, till I was induced so far to take -compassion on him, as to place my hand in that of the gipsy, making -signs for her to tell my fortune, as though I had been representing a -dumb woman. - -Meyler examined my hand and nails attentively, and then called me by my -name. - -"I could swear to this hand anywhere; but how you have tormented me -to-night," said Meyler. - -The novelty of my dress seemed to make the impression on Meyler, which -a new woman might be expected to make on a man, who, like him, was so -fond of variety. He was quite in raptures, and refused to leave my -side an instant during the remainder of the evening, lest any famous -knight-errant should carry me off in a balloon. - -At eight o'clock in the morning an excellent breakfast was served. It -consisted of coffee, tea and chocolate; and, when I returned home at -half-past nine o'clock, I heartily wished that the whole _fete_ would -begin again. - - - - -CHAPTER XXXIX - - -Very soon after this I left London for Paris, as I have already -described, and I must now carry my readers back a few pages, to that -part of my Memoirs where I have stated that my finances required my -return to London. - -I passed the whole of the last day with Rosabella, who was in an agony -of passionate grief, when at last I, with my English maid and _femme de -chambre,_ was seated in the carriage. She absolutely called after the -post-boys, and insisted on once more pressing me in her arms. Any one -who had heard her sobs would have thought she was parting with a beloved -husband for ever: and yet, when we afterwards got her adored Bonaparte -into our power, Rosabella cut me dead, just as if I could possibly have -helped it. - -I arrived in town late in the evening, and was immediately visited by -my constant swain, Lord Frederick Bentinck, whom I found at least as -entertaining as usual. I visited my sister Fanny early the next morning, -and presented her son and heir, George Woodcock who, strange to tell, -had actually forgotten his English and answered everybody in French, to -his mother's great surprise and amusement. - -Amy continued with Paget, and insisted with much vulgarity on his -appearing with her everywhere in public; particularly at the opera, -because Mrs. Berkeley Paget frequented the theatre herself. - -I forget whether the Prussian King and the Russian Emperor were in -London, or only expected; but I remember well that London had never -been so brilliantly gay in my time before, and the opera-house was -perhaps never so crowded, in the memory of any person now living, as on -the night that these two crowned heads, accompanied by our own beloved -Sovereign, who was then Regent, appeared at this theatre. Thirty guineas -were, I know, refused for a box on the upper tier. - -Amy, with her usual selfishness, forced herself into my box, which was -already crowded almost beyond endurance, because it exactly faced the -royal one. No less than fifty people obtained permission to take a peep -at the three reigning princes from my excellent position. Altogether, I -had like to have been suffocated. A little before the curtain dropped, I -contrived to secure a seat near the entrance to the upper room, called -the round-room, which faces the Haymarket. There I waited patiently till -the gay crowd should disperse, amusing myself by endeavouring to guess -at the characters of those persons who were nearest me. - -Lady Anne Wyndham was leaning against the crimson door in her most -studied attitude: her swan's-down tippet thrown back on purpose to -display her bosom, while the same set soft smile she had worn for the -last twenty years played on her lips, and might have played there -unobserved till doomsday, but for her faithful solitary swain, Cecisbo -or lover, I know not which appellation he best deserved, my Lord -Petersham, who was eagerly making his way through the crowd in his -_outre costume d'Espagne,_ in order to pay his respects to her ladyship. -His address was most correctly elegant, his school, Lord Chesterfield, -with less of pedantry, or the late Duc de Richelieu perhaps, without his -depravity. - -"I am quite distressed," said his lordship, after performing his -graceful bow of six years studying, "that I have been prevented joining -you earlier. I am afraid you found the heat very oppressive to-night. -Allow me to offer you these violets," presenting a small bouquet between -his delicate finger and thumb. "They are, I know, the flowers you -prefer." Lady Anne became broad awake, if not animated by the attention -of her admirer. - -I now observed a very corpulent gentleman sailing towards us. He had -a lady leaning on his right arm, and two ugly, tawny daughters on his -left: all three seemed ready to expire under the pressure of heat and -finery. - -"La! papa, don't pull so," said the eldest daughter. - -"Somebody has shoved the comb out of my head, I declare; and I have torn -my dress," said the youngest. - -"Why don't William stay with the girls?" said mamma. "I declare I am -squeezed to death." - -Beau Brummell, at this moment, passed immediately between Lord Petersham -and this interesting family party. As the pressure prevented the -possibility of advancing, the corpulent gentleman, after taking out -his pocket-handkerchief and wiping his head and face, seemed about to -address Beau Brummell, and I promised myself not a little amusement, -from observing the very essence of vulgarity in close contact with the -finest man in town. - -"Warm work this, sir," said the corpulent gentleman to Brummell, who -merely answered by a look of dismay, softened, however, by a glance at -the muscular strength of his neighbour. - -"Pray, sir," said the fat gentleman, speaking louder, "may I be bold to -ask which of they two foreigners might be the Russian Emperor?" - -"Sir?" said Brummell, shrugging up his shoulders, and turning up -his eyes from Lord Petersham to the ceiling in utter despondency at -observing no possible means of escape. The man of real high rank and -breeding might here have been easily distinguished from the mere man -of impudent pretensions. Lord Petersham good-naturedly condescended to -answer for the beau. - -"Thank you, sir," said the fat gentleman. "I thought so; and, do you -know, I likes the look of him." - -"Pa!" said the eldest daughter, anxious to be thought of consequence, -and having actually made a slight acquaintance with Lord Alvanly by -accident, "here comes our friend Lord Alvanly." - -Lord Alvanly, much amused at finding the Smiths in such society, -affected great cordiality, and shaking them heartily by the hand, begged -to have the honour of introducing Mr. and Mrs. Smith, also the two -Misses Smith, to Lord Petersham and Mr. Brummell. On hearing the name -of Brummell Mr. Smith, mistaking it for some acquaintance of his own, -repeated the name to himself, "Brummell! Brummell!" - -"I believe, sir," addressing the beau smirkingly, "I fancy, sir, I have -had the pleasure of meeting you before? I am sure I have. You are the -gentleman as sung such a good song at our club." - -The well-taught muscles of Lord Petersham's face were nearly giving -way, not only against all superfine Chesterfieldian rules, but common -civility. Even Lady Anne's placid waxen smile was almost enlarging -into a laugh, at the idea of Brummell singing a good song at Smith's -club; but Lord Alvanly whispered gravely in Smith's ear, that he had no -doubt it was the very same person, adding that Mr. Brummell did sing a -remarkably good song; but was always shy at receiving compliments, in -public. - -"Sir," said Smith, bowing to Brummell, "I shall be most happy to see -you at my snug box at Clapham. All my family are fond of a good English -song, and I will venture to say I can give you as good a bottle of port -wine as any in England." - -Brummell here forced his way through the crowd in a fit of desperation -and disappeared. - -"That's a queer chap!" said Smith, much offended; "but, good Lord, who -have we got here? Crazy Jane?" - -The personage who thus excited his surprise was Lady Owen, who came -sailing towards them under the escort of a young barrister, whose -broad unmeaning face some ladies have been pleased to call handsome. -A profusion of full-grown artificial wheat was scattered over her -head in grotesque confusion. Several dark ringlets were suffered to -fall loosely over her neck and shoulders, and the rest was confined by -immense red roses, indigenous, probably, to Brobdingnag or Patagonia, -or some other climate where everything is gigantic. She did not appear -to affect youth, but voluptuousness; rolling her eyes in affectation of -libertinism, such as she had no inclination to indulge, yet seemed as -anxious to excite, as if it had been her natural vocation. Indeed that -was the character of her countenance, which could have expressed no -other feeling even at her best beloved's funeral! - -Miss Smith now addressed a young man, with stiff dark whiskers, by the -appellation of brother, who, though a better grammarian, appeared to be -as much more radically vulgar than his father, as he was presuming and -self-sufficient. - -"Laws! William," said his youngest sister, "Pa has had a nice job with -us three women." - -"We are very much obliged to you, indeed," the eldest Miss Smith -observed. - -"I told you before," said the pompous youth, pulling up his neck-cloth -without looking at his sisters, "I have frequently informed you that -brothers attending their sisters in public is not at all the correct -thing, neither is this the proper spot to wait in." - -"Don't tell me your nonsense about the proper spot," said old Smith, "I -have almost had the breath shoved out of my body to-night." - -"Pray William," said his mother, "why do you come to the Hoppera in that -hodious round 'at, after giving such a price for a three-cornered one?" - -"If you inquire, Madam," answered William, with grave contempt, "you -will learn that a round hat is the correct thing at this time of the -year." - -Hearing the clock strike three, I immediately fancied myself half dead -with fatigue, and hurried to my carriage as fast as the crowd, which -still continued, would permit me. - -Meyler, as I had been informed, while at Paris was consoling himself -with a Mrs. Stonyer, as she was called, because she lived with Mr. -Stonyer. However, I saw him at the Opera looking so very pale and ill -that my heart relented, and I wrote to inquire after him, and the next -day he called upon me. I asked him if he was much in love with his new -acquaintance. - -"Not at all," said Meyler; "but, Stonyer being such a fool, there was -no resisting the amusement of making him a cuckold. How do you think I -manage it at Melton?" - -"How should I know?" - -"Why we all go out hunting together and, when I have rode a few miles, -I wink at the rest and fall down from my horse, or affect to hurt my -ankle. I then express my vexation at being obliged to return home to -nurse myself. Stonyer condoles with and offers to accompany me. I insist -on his remaining to enjoy the fine sport of the day, and I go back to -his mistress. However," continued Meyler, "she got jealous and fond of -me latterly, which disgusted me, and I cut her. She then so far lost -sight of common prudence as to send her good man Stonyer after me." - -"My Mary Ann," or "my Betsy," or whatever her name was, which I have -forgotten, "wishes, of all things to see you, if you please," would -he say to Meyler, and when Meyler rudely refused to obey the fair -lady's summons, Stonyer would remark to some of his Melton friends in a -whisper, that, being a delicate subject, he could not well consult Mrs. -Stonyer concerning Meyler's rudeness, in being sulky and refusing to -obey her invitation: but he was himself pretty shrewd and could guess -how the affair stood. He was afraid his friend Meyler had presumed to -take some slight liberty with Mrs. Stonyer, which must have seriously -alarmed her, and which she must have resented, perhaps so harshly as to -wound Meyler's pride in a way not to be overcome. - -"Stonyer," Fred Bentinck would sometimes say to me, "Stonyer is like a -man in a play; a man quite below par. I never heard such a fool off the -stage. He often calls me aside, with much mystery and, having got me -into a corner, whispers in my ear that he is afraid we shall have a wet -season." - -Somewhere about this time John Mills of the Guards insisted on falling -in love with me, merely to prove himself a fashionable man. Being a -friend of Meyler's, I could not easily avoid making his acquaintance. -He was rather well informed: but a stiff, bad imitator of Meyler's -gentlemanly carriage and manner: a sort of man who would rather have -died than not been a member of White's club, at the door of which he -always wished his tilbury and neat groom to be found, between the hours -of four and five. From that he went into Hyde Park, for such was the -fashion, and he had a chance of meeting Brummell and Meyler there. The -former was just now getting into disgrace. The story was this. - -Brummell, Alvanly, and Worcester agreed to raise thirty thousand pounds -on their joint securities. Brummell, having made Worcester believe that -he was at least competent to pay the interest of the debt, the money -was raised, and the weight of the debt was expected to fall on the -Duke of Beaufort, who, after strict inquiry, ascertained that Brummell -was deeply involved and without even the most remote prospect of ever -possessing a single guinea. When Meyler heard this he became furious, -both on his friend Worcester's account and his own, declaring that -Brummell had borrowed seven thousand pounds from him, which he had lent -in the fullest conviction that Brummell was a man of honour. - -I asked Meyler how he could be so very stupid as to have been deceived, -even for an instant, about Brummell. - -"Why, did not everybody think so?" - -"Certainly not. Brummell was pretty generally known for a man destitute -of feeling or principle; but he looked well at an assembly, and was the -fashion." - -"I would forgive him the seven thousand pounds he has robbed me of; but, -on Worcester's account, I shall expose him to-morrow at White's." - -"Why not let Worcester fight his own battles?" - -"That is just what, for the Duchess of Beaufort's sake, I wish to -prevent." - -"I think you may trust Worcester, who has no sort of inclination to -fight Brummell nor anybody else." - -"No matter. Brummell I will certainly expose; because he has basely -obtained a sum of money from my friend." - -"So has Lord Alvanly." - -"But then, Lord Alvanly may at least contrive to pay the interest; -therefore it was not so complete a fraud. Nevertheless, I hold it my -duty, as an independent gentleman, never to give my countenance nor -society to a man who has done a dishonourable action. I shall therefore -cut Lord Alvanly wherever I meet him, notwithstanding no man delights -more in his amusing qualities than I do; but, believing that society -would be much improved by general firmness of this kind, no power on -earth should prevail on me to swerve from this my fixed determination." - -Meyler strictly adhered to this resolution to the day of his death. Even -when he met Lord Alvanly in the Duchess of Beaufort's box, or no matter -where, he never spoke to him again. Alvanly used to rail at Meyler for -this, as might naturally be expected, calling him a d----d methodistical -grocer, &c. - -The little sugar-baker kept his promise of exposing Mr. Brummell at -White's Club, where he placed himself the following morning for the sole -purpose of saying to every man who entered, that Mr. Brummell's late -conduct both towards the Marquis of Worcester and himself, had been such -as rendered him a disgrace to society, and most unfit to remain a member -of that club. Tom Raikes, I believe it was, who acquainted Brummell the -next day of this glowing panegyric on his character. - -Brummell addressed a few lines to Meyler, begging to be informed if -such had really and truly been the expressions made use of. - -Meyler answered that not only he had used expressions, but that he -further proposed returning to the club on the following day, for the -sole purpose of repeating them between the hours of two and four, -to anybody who might happen to be present, and, if Mr. Brummell had -anything to say to him in return, he would be sure to find him at -White's during that particular time. - -Brummell never made his appearance in London after the receipt of this -letter, which gained Meyler the nickname of the dandy-killer. Since -then, dandies have gone out of fashion. - -Brummell, finding himself on his last legs, made the best of his way -to about a dozen of his former acquaintances, from most of whom he had -already contrived to obtain large sums of money. - -"Play has been the ruin of me," said he to each of them in turn. "I now -throw myself on your compassion, being in a wretched plight; for I have -been led into such scrapes, as oblige me to leave London at a minute's -notice, and I have not a guinea to pay post horses." - -Many of them gave him a fifty-pound note; so did John Mills I believe; -but first, he expostulated with the beau, and asked him what excuse he -could offer for having already obtained such large sums from one who -knew so little of him. - -"Why," said Brummell to several of these half-and-half sort of gentry, -"have not I called you Dick, Tom, and John, you rogues? And was not -that worth all the money to you? But for this, do you fancy or flatter -yourselves that you would ever have been seen picking your teeth in Lady -Foley's box, or the Duchess of Rutland's? John Mills above all!" - -Brummell was soon after this established in Calais, and half the world -went to see him, as though he had been a lion. I determined to do so -too on my return to Paris, where I promised to join my mother as soon -as I had settled the business which had brought me to England. In the -interval, I passed much of my time with Fanny, who now saw a good deal -of Lord Bective. Her health continued much as usual. - -Lord Byron paid me frequent visits; but I really cannot recollect -whether it was just at this period or later in that year or the next. -No matter, Voltaire says somewhere, that provided there was a battle, -it does not signify when it took place. His lordship's manner was -always natural, sometimes very pleasant; but generally egotistical. He -would listen to one's conversation just as long as he was entertained -by it and no longer. However, he very good-naturedly permitted one to -grow tired of him in the like manner, which was more than many great -men could pardon. Once he talked with me on religion till I grew weary -and absent. He then fixed his expressive eyes keenly on my face for an -instant, as if to read my thoughts before he ventured to proceed, and -complacently changed the subject, observing, "I have tired you to death -on religion. Let us talk of the gay world, men and women! Perhaps you -may find me less tiresome." - -"You are never tiresome on any subject; but I was vexed, and tired of -the vain attempts I have been making to change such opinions, as seem to -engender black melancholy, in the mind of a man superior and amiable, -as you would be with a happier temper. It was indeed the very height of -vanity and folly in me, to have hoped for an instant, that anything I -could say would influence you." - -"The strong proof that you have affected me by much which you have been -saying, is the energy and nerve with which I have been striving to -refute your arguments during the last half-hour. Do you believe I should -have taken all this trouble, if you had said nothing to strike me or -throw new lights on a subject which is often tormenting me?" - -"Why not make up our minds that we know nothing, and then, while we -quietly follow the dictates of our own consciences, hope the best?" - -"Very comfortable doctrine, certainly," said Lord Byron: "but, if -thoughts and wishes, boundless as the heavens, will force themselves on -a soaring inquisitive mind almost to madness, while shame for its own -littleness, and dread of a future which cannot be understood or avoided, -contribute to disgust me with my present state, and make me the wretch -of impulse which you and all must hate----?" - -Lord Byron uttered these words in such a tremendous, loud voice, that -his strength and feelings were suddenly exhausted, and his countenance -changed to the ashy paleness of death as he threw his head against the -back of the sofa whereon he was sitting. Common-place words of sympathy -and condolence I conceived must be thrown away on any person, at a -moment when the feelings were so highly wrought. I therefore silently -placing myself by his side imprinted a kiss on his hand. He was in the -act of withdrawing it almost furiously; but I fixed my eyes upon his -face, and their expression must have pleased him; for he immediately -replaced his hand in mine, which he pressed very affectionately. I -reclined my head on his shoulder, in order to talk to him with less -formality. - -"It is the over-excitement of a too active mind which operates thus -upon our nerves," said I, trying to identify myself with his mental -sufferings. "It would surely soothe us, could we in such moments recline -on the fresh grass by the side of a clear brook, and amuse ourselves -in luxurious indolence watching the pebbles, as we threw them into the -water, until the monotony of this lazy occupation should put us to -sleep, when we might happen to dream of infinite space, and freedom, and -joy, with no sad void left aching in the breast." - -Lord Byron smiled on me with the earnest warmth which a parent would -show towards a child, in reward for its attempts to please and amuse -him. - -"One day or other such a dream as this shall be eternal;" I continued, -and, without giving him time to argue on the subject I drew his -attention, as if by accident, to some of the most striking and animated -beauties of his _Corsair,_ just as they had really impressed me. Where -is the author who can be indifferent to the genuine unhackneyed praise -bestowed on his own composition? - -Lord Byron gradually recovered his serenity, and, before we separated, -we had mutually indulged in many a hearty laugh at the expense of false -prudes: ladies who put their heads into their pillows, while affecting -to cry nay, and, at the same time, _elles se pretent a la circonstance_. -But never mind what we laughed at, or how absurd our conversation, so -that poor dear Lord Byron got rid of his sombre melancholy. - -We met on various occasions previously to his separation from his -wife; and his lordship made me very happy one day, by assuring me that -there was a soothing kind of softness in my temper and disposition, -which, joined to much playful humour, had more than once saved him from -feelings nearly allied to madness. - -Speaking one day of the severe critique published by the Edinburgh -reviewers on his first work, entitled _Hours of Idleness,_ I mentioned -my surprise at his lordship having been so irritated and annoyed by it. - -"I can easily conceive a stupid, prosing poet, who felt his own -inferiority and despaired of writing anything better, becoming furious -at such absurd scurrility; but I should have expected you to have read -it without feeling your temper ruffled; though, in fact, your poetry -was perhaps a little lame: but the satire directed against it became -pointless, from its unnatural severity." - -"And where did you ever see a stupid, prosing poet, who did feel his -own inferiority?" asked Lord Byron. "As a boy, I certainly had a strong -suspicion that I possessed unusual abilities; but I was by no means -convinced of it: and I often felt myself very deficient in things which -it was incumbent on any man to know. I offered my work to the public in -fear and trembling; for I knew but very little of the world, and was -foolishly sensitive." - -Speaking of vanity some time afterwards, Lord Byron remarked, -laughingly, that he was tired of praise as Lord Byron, because it now -became a thing of course; but still he felt at all times proud and -grateful, when any stranger took him for a very fine fellow. - -"I, one day," he continued, "determined to try what effect I could -produce on an untaught servant-maid. She was very pretty and not, I -think, deficient in natural abilities, though it is really very good -of me to say so; for she could not endure me! I made myself very smart -too at our second meeting, and she became a little more reconciled -to me before I left England. However, she certainly was much more in -love with a young shop-keeper in the neighbourhood. You made my vanity -ample amends: for I am too proud of your spontaneous good opinion, to -suffer myself to doubt the truth of your former assurance, upon your -word and honour, that you did not know me when you addressed me at the -masquerade." - - - - -CHAPTER XL - - -Lord Ebrington came to see me in town on his return from Italy, and -declared me so delightful that I reminded him of _les beaux vieux temps -passes_. I nevertheless went hack to Paris, without doing anything with -the Duke of Beaufort respecting my annuity. - -I cannot help thinking that many persons are governed rather by worldly -than by moral principles, in their determination to praise everybody -they know without rhyme or reason: for I have been acquainted with many, -to whom mild Christian charity was a stranger, who courted popularity -by indiscriminate praise of the good and of the bad. Coldness of heart -renders all this easy and natural. - -The good-natured man, says some great writer or other, is generally -without benevolence or any other virtue, than such as indolence and -insensibility confer. Now, the selfsame energy and warmth of heart, -which creates enthusiastic admiration of the virtuous and amiable, -excites the strongest feelings of resentment against those who are -capable of meanness or dishonour. - -Few were, I believe, unacquainted with the real character of Beau -Brummell, among those who courted, praised, sought and copied him. The -prudence of such conduct can no more be doubted, in my humble opinion, -than its injustice towards the truly amiable. Although for my part I -never affected friendship for Mr. Brummell, either in his day of triumph -or since his disgrace, yet curiosity induced me to inquire about him as -I passed through Calais. - -"_C'etait un homme charmant_" his French language-master informed me. -"_Qu'il avait un ton parfait; que c'etait aussi etonnant, qu'heureux -qu'il n'eut jamais appris a parler Francais, en Angleterre._" - -I made the beau a hasty visit, just as the horses were being put to -my carriage. My inquiry, "_Si Monsieur Brummell etait visible_?" was -answered by his valet, just such a valet as one would have given the -beau in the acme of his glory, _bien poudre, bien ceremonieu, et bien -mis, que Monsieur fesait sa barbe._ - -"_Pardon,_" added the valet, seeing me about to leave my card, "_mais -Monsieur recoit, en faisant la barbe toujours. Monsieur est a sa seconde -toilette, actuellement._ - -I found the beau _en robe de chambre de Florence,_ and, if one might -judge from his increased embonpoint and freshness, his disgrace had not -seriously affected him. He touched lightly on this subject in the course -of our conversation, _faisant toujours la barbe, avec une grace toute -particuliere, et le moindre petit rasoir, que je n'eus jamais vu._ - -"Play," he said, "had been the ruin of them all." - -"Whom do you include in your all?" - -He told me there had been a rot in White's club. - -"I have heard all about your late tricks in London," said I. - -Brummell laughed, and told me that in Calais he sought only French -society; because it was his decided opinion that nothing could be more -ridiculous than the idea of a man going to the continent, whether from -necessity or choice, merely to associate with Englishmen. - -I asked him if he did not find Calais a very melancholy residence. - -"No," answered Brummell, "not at all. I draw, read, study French, -and----" - -"Play with that dirty French dog," interrupted I. - -"_Finissez donc, Louis_," said he laughing, and encouraging the animal -to play tricks, leap on his _robe de chambre de Florence,_ and make a -noise. Then, turning to me. "There are some pretty French actresses at -Paris. I had such a sweet green shoe here just now. In short," added -Brummell, "I have never been in any place in my life, where I could not -amuse myself." - -Brummell's table was covered with seals, chains, snuff-boxes and -watches: presents, as he said, from Lady Jersey and various other ladies -of high rank. - -The only talent I could ever discover in this beau was that of having -well-fashioned the character of a gentleman, and proved himself a -tolerably good actor; yet, to a nice observer, a certain impenetrable, -unnatural stiffness of manner proved him but nature's journeyman after -all; but then his wig--his new French wig was nature itself. - -From what I had heard of the hero's fall, I fully expected to have found -him reclined on a couch worn down to a skeleton, and with these lines -of the poor Cardinal Wolsey, or the like of them, ever and anon in his -mouth: - - Go get thee from me! - I am poor fallen man. - No sun shall ever usher forth mine honours, - Or gild again the noble hoofs that waited - Upon my smiles. - -Quite the contrary however was Brummell, who, had he not covered his -bald pate with the said model of a wig, would have looked just as usual. - -At Paris, I found most of my friends just as I had left them. Rosabella -was delighted to see me. Nugent's old blue remise was still kept in -constant motion, rattling about the dirty streets of Paris after his -favourite women, and Amy's eyes still rolled and ogled her ugly Swiss -banker, Monsieur Grefule, who, being still cruel, my pen was employed -to melt his Swiss heart; but one might as well have attempted to thaw a -Swiss mountain-cape of ice. - -I think it was during this visit of mine to Paris, that I happened -to be in want of money, an exigency by no means unusual with me; and, -having considered who was most likely to give it me, after vainly -applying to Argyle I fixed on Lord Byron, who was at that time in Italy: -and I addressed him as follows: - - "Paris, 15_th March._ - - "MY DEAR LORD BYRON,--I hate to ask you for money, because - you ought not to pay anybody: not even turnpike men, postmen nor - tax-gathering men: for we are all paid ten-fold by your delicious - verses, even if we had claims on you, and I have none. However, I - only require a little present aid, and that I am sure you will not - refuse me, as you once refused to make my acquaintance because you - held me too cheap. At the same time, pray write me word that you - are tolerably happy. I hope you believe in the very strong interest - I take, and always shall take, in your welfare: so I need not prose - about it. God bless you, my dear Lord Byron. - - "H.W." - - -By return of post, I received the following answer: - - - "Ravenna, _March_ 30_th._ - - "I have just received your letter, dated 15th instant, and - will send you fifty pounds, if you will inform me how I can remit - that sum; for I have no correspondence with Paris of any kind; my - letters of credit being for Italy; but perhaps you can get some one - to cash you a bill for fifty pounds on me, which I would honour, - or you can give me a safe direction for the remission of a bill to - that amount. Address to me at Ravenna, not Venice. - - "With regard to my refusal, some years ago, to comply with a - very different request of yours, you mistook, or chose to mistake - the motive: it was not that 'I held you much too cheap' as you say, - but that my compliance with your request to visit you, would just - then have been a great wrong to another person: and, whatever you - may have heard, or may believe, I have ever acted with good faith - in things even where it is rarely observed, as long as good faith - is kept with me. I told you afterwards that I had no wish to hurt - your self-love, and I tell you so again, when you will be more - disposed to believe me. - - "In answer to your wish that I shall tell you if I was - 'happy,' perhaps it would be a folly in any human being to say so - of themselves, particularly a man who has had to pass through the - sort of things which I have encountered; but I can at least say - that I am not miserable, and am perhaps more tranquil than ever I - was in England. - - "You can answer as soon as you please: and believe me - - "Yours, &c. - "BYRON. - - "P.S. Send me a banker's or merchant's address, or any - person's in your confidence, and I will get Langle, my banker at - Bologna, to remit you the sum I have mentioned. - - "It is not a very magnificent one; but it is all I can spare - just now." - -Answer: - - "Paris, 30 Rue de la Paix. - - "Ten thousand thanks, dear Lord Byron, for your prompt - compliance with my request. You had better send the money to me - here and I shall get it safe. I am very glad to learn that you - are more tranquil. For my part, I never aspired to being your - companion, and should be quite enough puffed up with pride, were - I permitted to be your housekeeper, attend to your morning cup of - chocolate, damn your night-cap, comb your dog, and see that your - linen and beds are well aired, and, supposing all these things were - duly and properly attended to, perhaps you might, one day or other - in the course of a season, desire me to put on my clean bib and - apron and seat myself by your side, while you condescended to read - me in your beautiful voice your last new poem! - - "Apropos! I travelled with a man lately who had just left - you. I forget his name; a sort of a lawyer as I guessed, because - he would talk about the 'parties' every few minutes. No! he could - not be quite so bad as that neither. I don't know what he was; - but he had not the least mite of skin on his long, thin, straight - nose. That had been all entirely burnt off, he said, while he was - enjoying the charms of your delightful society at Venice. Heaven - defend me from such a nose, however poetically bestowed upon me! - Don Juan kept me up the whole of last night. I will not attempt to - describe its beauties, as they struck and delighted me; because - that would be at the expense of another night's rest: and, what can - I say to you, who know well that you are the first poet of this, I - am inclined to think of any, age? And, being this, as well as young - and beautiful, why condescend to resent our sins against you? A - common man might as well be angry with a wasp, as Lord Byron with - a common man, when he is waspish towards him, and let me ask you, - what harm the commandments ever did you or those who believe in - them since they teach nought but virtue. And what catchpenny ballad - writer could not write a parody on them as you have done? _Souviens - toi, comme tu es noble, et ne te mele point de tout cela._ Let our - religion alone, till you can furnish us with a more perfect creed. - Till then, neither you nor Voltaire will ever enlighten the world - by laughing at it. - - "It would serve me right, were you to refuse to send me what - you promised after my presumption in writing you this sermon. - However, I must be frank and take my chance, and, if you really - wish to convince me you bear no malice nor hatred in your heart, - tell me something about yourself; and do pray try and write a - little better, for I never saw such a vile hand as yours has - become. Was it never a little more decent? True, a great man - is permitted to write worse than ordinary people; _mais votre - ecriture passe la permission_. Any one, casting a hasty glance - at one of your effusions, would mistake it for a washer-woman's - laboured scrawl, or a long dirty ditty from some poor soul just - married, who humbly begs the favour of a little mangling from the - neighbouring nobility, gentry, and others! Look to it, man! Are - there no writing-masters at Ravenna? Cannot you write straight at - least? Dean Swift would have taken you 'for a lady of England!' - - "God bless you, you beautiful, little, ill-tempered, - delightful creature, and make you as happy as I wish you to be. - - "HARRIETTE. - - "Can I forward you a bundle of pens, or anything?" - -Answer: - - "Ravenna, _May_ 15_th._ - - - "I enclose a bill for a thousand francs, a good deal short - of fifty pounds; but I will remit the rest by the very first - opportunity. Owing to the little correspondence between Langle, - the Bologna banker, I have had more difficulty in arranging - the remittance of this paltry sum, than if it had been as many - hundreds, to be paid on the spot. Excuse all this, also the badness - of my hand-writing, which you find fault with and which was once - better; but, like everything else, it has suffered from late hours - and irregular habits. - - "The Italian pens, ink and paper are also two centuries behind - the like articles in other countries. - - "Yours very truly and affectionately, - "BYRON. - - "I should have written more at length, in reply to some parts - of your letter; but I am at 'this present writing' in a scrape - (not a pecuniary one, but personal, about one of your ambrosial - sex), which may probably end this very evening seriously. Don't be - frightened. The Italians don't fight: they stab a little now and - then; but it is not that, it is a divorce and separation; and, as - the aggrieved person is a rich noble and old, and has had a fit of - discovery against his moiety, who is only twenty years old, matters - look menacing. - - "I must also get on horse-back this minute, as I keep a friend - waiting. - - "Address to me at Ravenna as usual." - -Lord Byron wrote me many letters at times; but I have lost or mislaid -them all, except those which I have herein given, and can show to any -one, who may be pleased to question their being really originals. - -Here's a disaster--a multiplicity of disasters in short, as Lady Berwick -said one day, when the compound evils fell upon her. First, Peacock did -not send her shoes home. Secondly, Lord Berwick threw a large, hot leg -of mutton at his well-powdered footman's head. I will tell you why: the -stupid cook insisted on serving it up, unadorned by the smart piece -of writing-paper which is usually wrapped round the shank-bone. His -lordship had expostulated so often that, this time, he hoped to imprint -the fact more strongly on the memory by dousing the untouched, greasy -joint against his lacquey's brain. Now Sophia, it so chanced, was fond -of a slice of mutton. Thirdly, that little man in St. James' Street, who -sells box-combs, I forget his name, cut her hair at least an inch too -short on the forehead. Fourthly, Sophia could not match the silk she -wanted to finish a purse she happened to be netting for her handsome -harp-master, Boscha of ---- notoriety. - -"One thing coming upon another," said Sophia, turning up her eyes as she -sat with her feet on the fender; "one thing coming upon another, I feel -I shall go mad." But, heavy as were her ladyship's afflictions, they -cannot reasonably be named in the same day with the tragic misadventures -which have been lately heaped on my poor little devoted shoulders. - -I had proceeded nearly thus far with these my most valuable -_Memoirs_, and nearly thus much had been kindly forwarded by the late, -good-natured, obliging ambassador, Sir Charles Stuart. - -_Helas! les voila passes, ces jours de fetes!_ Sir Charles is sent to -India, and his place supplied by that self-same beau, whom I one Sunday -trotted up to Marylebone Fields in the dog-days, and did not order -him home again till he was expiring with fatigue and perspiration. It -just now occurs to me that I styled him Lord George, instead of Lord -Granville Leveson Gower, an error which I hasten to correct and in all -humility atone for: but it really is difficult to bear in mind the names -of those who do not excite in us the least interest. Now that the case -is altered, my readers perceive how readily I correct myself, having -addressed his lordship to this effect: - - "My acquaintance with your lordship is very slight, since we - have met but once in our lives, and that was a long while ago. - Nevertheless, I hope you will prevent my feeling the loss of my - late kind friend, whom everybody likes, as far as permitting me to - forward my letters in the bag. - - "You will thus, my lord, serve me just now most positively and - effectually, for which condescending kindness I shall ever remain - your lordship's obliged and most obedient servant, - - "H. WILSON." - - -Lord Granville sent me a stiff formal note, which I have neither time -nor inclination to look for, stating his regrets that, owing to certain -regulations at the Foreign Office, he was compelled to refuse my request. - -To which I replied: - - "MY LORD,--I was looking about for a fool to fill up my book, - and you are just arrived in Paris in time to take the place, for - which I am indebted to you. - - "Yours obliged and obediently, - "H.W." - - -In the following week, this most upright Plenipo's conscience growing -slack, he slackened the strings of the bag so far as to admit the -private correspondence of an acquaintance of mine, whose name he may -learn whenever he thinks it worth his while to apply for it to me, who -am his near neighbour. - -To proceed with my disasters: the next was a pressing letter from -Stockdale, handed to me by bag, declaring that he must have the rest of -my _Memoirs,_ because folks began to think it was all an hoax, as Liston -or some other funny fellow says. _Que faire?_ Having, by some wonderful -chance or providence, contrived to scrape together two hundred francs, I -determined to cross the Channel once more; for I hate to break my word. - -Arrived at Mr. Stockdale's house, 'willa' I would call it were it at -all cockneyish, I handed him over, as a plenipo-pacificator, the chief -part of my delectable memoirs. I conceived that my disasters were now -completely at an end, and I looked forwards to a rich harvest, with -unbounded applause. - -Unfortunately, Stockdale, in a courteous fit, acquainted the immortal -Wellington that I was about to publish part of his private life, under -the impression, of course, that every act which relates to so great a -hero must be interesting. - -Will it ever be believed? His Grace, in the meek humility of his heart, -has written to menace a prosecution if such trash be published. What -trash, my dear Wellington? Now, I will admit, for an instant, and it is -really very good of me, that you are an excellent judge of literature, -and could decide on the merits or demerits of a work with better taste -and judgment than the first of Edinburgh reviewers. Still, in order to -pronounce it trash, we should fancy that even Wellington himself must -throw a hasty glance on one of its pages at least. Quite the contrary. -Wellington knows himself to be the subject, and therefore wisely -prejudges the book trash one fortnight before it sees the light! So -far so good! But when my own Wellington, who has sighed over me, and -groaned over me by the hour, talked of my wonderful beauty, ran after -me, bribed Mrs. Porter over and over again, after I refused to listen -to her overtures, only for a single smile from his beautiful Harriette! -Did he not kneel? And was I not the object of his first, his most ardent -wishes, on his arrival from Spain? Only it was such a pity that Argyle -got to my house first. No matter! Though Argyle was not his rose, he -had dwelled with it; therefore, what could my tender swain Wellington -do better than stand in the gutter at two in the morning, pouring forth -his amorous wishes in the pouring rain, in strains replete with the -most heart-rending grief, to the favoured and fortunate lover who had -supplanted him, as Stockdale has indulged me by getting so inimitably -delineated. When, I say, this faithful lover, whose love survived six -winters, six frosts, six chilling, nay, killing frosts, when Wellington -sends the ungentle hint to my publisher, of hanging me, beautiful, -adored and adorable me, on whom he had so often hung! _Alors je pend la -tete!_ Is it thus he would immortalise me? - -I do not mean to say that Wellington threatened to hang me, in so many -words: but honestly, it was something to say the least, not very unlike -it: viz., it assumed the questionable shape of ----. The prosecution -might take a different turn from the circumstance of my having written -to him, stating that I would certainly publish some anecdotes from real -life, to try to get paid for them, in case my tender lover refused me -some small assistance, to procure a little bread and cheese or so. -Of course, it could never enter the brain of any one, save that of -stupidity personified, to conceive that so great a man as Wellington, -ever did anything whatever, of which he was the least ashamed or minded -my publishing. Nevertheless, since he has threatened to bring forward -my soft epistles, in which I remember I wrote that old frights like -himself, who could not be contented with amiable wives, but must -run about to old procuresses, bribing them to decoy young girls, who -are living in perfect retirement in Duke's Row, Somers Town, and not -dreaming of harm, ought to pay us for the sacrifice they tempt us to -make, as well as for our secrecy. However, all I entreat of my late -tenderly enamoured wooer is, that he forthwith fulfil his threat and -produce these said letters in court: and, lest a small trifle of hanging -should be the result, but whether of him or me is yet to be seen, I'll -e'en make my will, and so good-bye to ye, old Bombastes Furioso. - -Yet I scarcely know how to take leave of the subject, it affects me so -deeply! I should not have been half so much afraid of hanging, only I -was subpoenaed on a trial at the Old Bailey a short time ago, as witness -against a poor girl who stole a watch out of my house. She acknowledged -the fact, and was honourably acquitted! - -"Och! the divel fly away wid all the world!" shrieked out my Irish cook, -a widow who had just lost her husband. "Sure my darlink's watch has been -stolen out of the kitchen." - -She came flying into my room when I was ill in bed, and frightened me -half out of my wits. - -"Nonsense!" said I. "Who could steal your watch, think you?" - -"Och! Don't bother me now. Sure it was the last thing my own darlink -husband clapped his two good-looking eyes upon, before he died, and I'll -murder every mother's son of you, but I'll have my watch!" - -"For God's sake look for your watch, you provoking, impertinent -creature, and don't stand there making a noise in my ears. Who on earth -could steal your watch?" - -"Oh! by the Almighty God, it was hanging on a nail of the kitchen-shelf -half an hour ago, when I went out just to buy some petaties for my own -dinner." - -"Why, not a soul has been here during your absence, except a very -interesting young woman, who did not appear to be more than seventeen -years of age. She has left her direction, as she wanted to be my -housemaid. I desired her to let herself out, and to be sure to shut the -street door after her. On her head she wore a straw bonnet with green -ribbons; but my room was rather dark, and that was all I noticed of her. -I scarcely think I should know her again." - -My Irish cook raved, roared, stormed, and bellowed along the streets, -on her way to a magistrate, from whom, having obtained a warrant, she -passed three whole days in wandering about London to look for young -women with ribbons on their bonnets. Of these she contrived to coax -three or four to walk with her to my house; but, alas! they did not -include the person she wanted. At last she chanced to meet with a -young female about seventeen years of age, who blushed deeply when -she mentioned to her having been cruelly robbed of a watch. Without -hesitation she seized her by the arm, and observing how the young woman -trembled, under a promise of pardon prevailed on her to confess the -theft, and immediately had her taken into custody. Next day two officers -made me accompany them to Marlborough-street public office. The girl was -fully committed for trial and sent to Newgate, where I visited her, and -expressed my astonishment that so young a girl could commit so daring a -robbery. Her plea was, that a soldier had seduced her, she was pregnant -by him, and he loved her no longer. In short, her only chance of being -admitted to visit him rested in her having money to give him. Love had -made her so desperate, that she stole my Irish woman's watch on her way -downstairs, merely to ensure one more interview with her faithless lover. - -Oh this love! this love! - -For more than a week I was shut up all day long in the witness box at -the Old Bailey. The first evening, only petty offences were tried. -Two men for pig-stealing, a gentleman for stealing a piece of pickled -pork, and concealing it about the lower parts of his person. This, -notwithstanding it was a fundamental error, was pardoned, and excited -an expression of loud applause from the gallery auditors. The judge -reprimanded the noisy throng, with proper dignity, assuring them that, -if this indecent conduct was repeated, they should be severely punished. - -The next morning I saw three men condemned to be hanged. The same judge -sat upon the bench. These dreadful scenes were new to me, and I was -overpowered with a violent hysterical affection, for which I expected -seven years transportation at least; but the judge, it should seem, -preferred the sound of sobs and tears to applause, from mere habit, for -he took no sort of notice of me. I forget his name. He was a very old -man, and spoke as if he took much snuff. I know not whether he or Denman -is most respected: but this I know, that, for my own part, next to not -being hanged at all, _plait a M. Wellington,_ I should like Denman to -pronounce sentence upon me: so pleasing a voice and so persuasive manner -I never witnessed, and the most placid, benevolent countenance! No one -could see him on the bench, and not feel the comfortable conviction of -his earnest wish to save the unfortunates, if it were consistent with -his duty. Now I could not help fancying that the learned and snuffy -judge was a little more convinced of the wholesomeness and convenience -of hanging, than either Denman, or our good King George. - -There was a handsome young house-breaker, whose favourable witness -was his sweetheart. The judge, of course, declared that such evidence -was good for nothing. However, at the request of the house-breaker's -counsel, she was allowed to speak, although I don't think the oath was -administered to her. - -"Are you a girl of the town?" asked the judge, to begin with. - -The lady honestly owned she was, and, being further questioned by my -lord judge, she gave an account of her lover being taken out of her room -by two police officers. - -"And did they not take you too?" - -"No, my lord." - -"A pity!" - -I observed Andrews among the counsellors, with his beak-nose, looking -quite as wise and learned, as when he came forth a few years ago in -defence of Mrs. Bertram, formerly Mrs. Kent. This gentleman stared at me -with disgusting persevering effrontery. He seemed to me to be eternally -labouring for distinction, from his discovery of loop-holes and knotty -points in the law; but his attempts were invariably unsuccessful. -When it shall please the mighty Wellington to try to hang me, Andrews -certainly shall not plead in my behalf, to show cause why I should not -have such a rise in the world. I can get an old woman in petticoats to -prose for me for half the money! - -Young Law, Lord Ellenborough's son, was a very smart, fine, young -gentleman, and his impatience of temper passed, I dare say occasionally, -for quickness. His wig was never straight on his head. I rather fancy -he liked to show his own good head of hair under it. He was constantly -explaining to the witnesses what the snuffy judge said to them, from -very impatience, and then again he would explain to my lud on the bench -the blunders and mistakes of witnesses. - -Young Law cross-questioned an old woman in an antique costume. - -"When you first beheld the deceased did you, from your own observation, -conceive him to be in a dying state?" - -"He said he was very bad, sir." - -"I do not ask you what he said, my good woman. I want to know what your -own opinion of his health was." - -"Why, lord, sir, everybody said he was in a bad way: upon my word they -did." - -"Come, come! This won't do, upon your word! What's upon your -word to do with it? Don't you know you are on your oath? -What--was--your--own--opinion, as to the man's state of health?" - -"Oh law!" said the witness, and then paused. I thought, really, that -she was calling him by his name. "Oh law! I think he must have been but -poorly! very so so, indeed." - -"My lud," said young Law, tossing up his little head with such -uncontrollable impatience towards the bench, as to shake out a cloud -of powder from his wig, "my lud, I am no match for this woman. She had -better be examined by some one more competent." - -The good woman was desired to leave the witness-box. - -I was in a rage with Phillip's brogue; because I should otherwise have -been so delighted with him. People say that a brogue is expressive; but -I think a little goes a great way. - -When the learned judge began to sum up the evidence, I thought we never -should have done with it. I could not help naming him slow and sure, -from what I observed of him. - -"Mary Allen states that--(holding the paper close to his eyes)--Mary -Allen states--she--states--she--no--she states--nothing--but -she--ah--no! Mary Allen states, that--ah! right! that she knew the -prisoner--when--when--when--Mary Allen states, that she knew the -prisoner when he lodged--yes--Mary Allen knew the prisoner, when -he--when he--when he--when he----" - -"My lud!" said young Law, popping up his little powdered head again, in -a high fever of desperate impatience--"My lud! shall I order candles?" - -Good-bye, judge snuffy. Heaven knows how soon you and I may meet again, -thanks to the great Wellington. It is a nervous subject to me, yet I -cannot help reverting to it. However, let us change it and proceed with -my _Memoirs._ - -There is surely something harsh and unmanly in threatening a woman with -any kind of law or prosecution, unless she were to do something much -worse than telling the truth: and there is a double want of gallantry -in threatening a fair lady, whose favours have been earnestly courted! -_N'est-ce pas?_ - -The man who lays his hand on a woman, save in the way of kindness, is a -monster, whom it were gross flattery to call coward. - -Now what would this excellent author say to Mr. Jack Ketch's hand being -laid on one, and that not quite in the way of kindness either? Yet, -if all the lords and law-givers are like Wellington, in the habit of -threatening poor devils of authors and book-sellers with prosecution, -hanging, and destruction, as often as they are about to publish any -facts, which do not altogether redound to their honour and glory, while -they modestly swallow all the _outre_ applause which may be bestowed -on their luck or their talents for killing men and winning battles, I -can no longer be surprised that even Beaufort has maintained his good -character up to this present writing, since publishers will quake when -heroes bully. - -There's no spirit nowadays. - - - - -CHAPTER XLI - - - London, 20_th January._ - -Another hero in a passion! Another lover threatens prosecution! No -less a personage than that most prolific Plenipo, the Hon. Frederick -Lamb, who yesterday called on Stockdale to threaten him, or us, with -prosecution, death and destruction, if his conduct towards me in times, -auld lang syne, was printed and published in any part of my _Memoirs_, -after Part I., which he acknowledged that his counsel had informed him -he could not lay hold of. No wonder that he is sore. I have certainly -told, as the Hon. Frederick Lamb was well aware must be the case, harsh -truths of him, I confess: but then it will disgust one to think that -a man would feel such violent passion for a girl without the heart to -save her from absolute want afterwards. Yet I never deceived him, and -I endeavoured to live on nothing, at my nurse's in Somers Town, _pour -ses beaux yeux_, as long as I possibly could. When I say nothing I mean -nothing, in the literal sense of the word. Frederick had never given -me a single shilling up to the time when hard necessity obliged me to -accept the Duke of Argyle for my lover. - -As to Frederick Lamb's rage at my publishing these facts, he was fully -acquainted with my intention; and had he, now that he is in better -circumstances, only opened his heart, or even purse, to have given me -but a few hundreds, there would have been no book, to the infinite loss -of all persons of good taste and genuine morality, and who are judges -of real merit. But I hate harping on peoples' unkindness, and _vice -versa,_ I cannot omit to acknowledge the generous condescension of Earl -Spencer, who, though I have not the honour to be in the least acquainted -with him, has very repeatedly assisted me. In short, his lordship has -promptly complied with every request for money I ever made to him, -merely as a matter of benevolence. - -Lord Rivers, with whom I have but a bowing acquaintance, has not only -often permitted me to apply to him for money; but once, when I named -a certain sum to him, he liberally doubled it; because, as he kindly -stated in his letter, he was so truly sorry to think that one who -possessed such a generous heart as mine should not be in affluent -circumstances. Lord Palmerston also, one fine day, did me a pecuniary -service without my having applied to him for it. Neither can I express -half the gratitude I feel, and shall entertain to the end of my life, -for the steady, active friendship Mr. Brougham has invariably evinced -towards me, actuated, as he is, solely by a spirit of philanthropy. When -I see a man of such brilliant talents pleading the cause of almost all -those persons whose characters I have sketched in these pages, with such -honest warmth and benevolence of feeling, as Brougham did yesterday, -to say I look up to him and love him, is but a cold description of the -sentiments he inspires in my heart. - -"A pretty list indeed," said Brougham, alluding to my characters, as -advertised in the newspapers by Stockdale. "Almost every one of my -particular friends is among them! The poor Duke of Argyle! What has he -done? I am very angry with you. I don't really think I can shake hands -with you." - -"I have strictly adhered to the truth." - -"Yes; but then, who wants to have their secrets exposed! Secrets, some -of them, sixteen years old." - -"Who do you think would have entrusted me with their secrets fifteen -years ago? Besides, why don't my old friends keep me among them? They -are all rich. I have applied to them and they refuse me the bare means -of existence. Must I not strive to live by my wits? You say you have -not read even the first part of my book. How do you know that it is -severe?" - -"Well! perhaps not! The Duke of Leinster tells me that it is not severe, -nor does it, he says, contain any libel." - -"To be sure not! Why, as His Grace goes on, he will find that I give -him credit for a little more intellect than even a Newfoundland dog! -_Que voulez-vous?_ But I wish to explain the Duke of Beaufort's conduct, -certainly." - -"Aye! true! The Duke of Beaufort treated you shamefully. You are very -welcome to tell the world that I am your counsel in that business; that -I said then, and repeat now, that he took a shameful advantage of your -generosity. There, you behaved only too well." - -"Thus then, though many of you are angry with me, you all agree in -being disgusted with the heartless selfishness of the Duke of Beaufort. -The Duke of Portland says he cannot conceive or understand it. So say -Montagu, Fred Bentinck, Headfort, yourself: in short, if Beaufort means -to fight all those who call his treatment of me infamous, he may gain -the high-sounding epitaph of fighting Bob before he knows where he is: -so farewell Beaufort. I would not change hearts with you. May you meet -with all the respect you merit here, and forgiveness hereafter. I have -certainly deserved better from you." - -"Well! never mind Beaufort," said Brougham, "tell all the truth of him; -but, as to the others, pray don't be severe. Write something from your -fancy, I cannot endure the idea of all this. You perhaps do not address -your letters correctly when you want money. You are so careless. I was -once desired to send you some in a great hurry, and there was no date to -your letter! I am sure these old friends of yours would provide for you, -if applied to civilly." - -"I tell you, you judge of them by your own excellent heart: you, who -have never refused me any assistance I asked you for, nor any act of -friendship in your power, while I have not nor never had any claim upon -you. There is the Duke of Argyle, who used to write thus: - -"'If at any future time you are in trouble and will condescend to apply -to me, you shall be as welcome as my sister; for indeed, I am afraid, I -love you.' - -"Well, I have, at His Grace's request, condescended to apply civilly, -stating my distress, and humbly entreating for anything he could -conveniently afford, at least fifty times: and I have never received one -single shilling, nor any proof of friendship since it pleased him to -become _le beau papa_. Everybody who knows me will admit that I have all -my life been disposed to like Argyle, to pardon all his sins against me, -and inspire others with a favourable opinion of his heart and character; -but the invariable excessive selfishness and want of feeling which His -Grace evinces towards me has, at length, I confess, disgusted me." - -I have a few more high characters in reserve to sketch for the benefit -of my readers; but they are too noble and brilliant to come in at the -fag-end of a work. I mean therefore to conclude these _Memoirs,_ and -take my rest for a month or so, in order to collect my ideas for a new -work in two volumes, which ought to be printed on the most expensive -hot-pressed vellum, wholly and solely for the express purpose of -immortalising His Grace of Richmond, the Marquis of Londonderry, Lord -Maryborough, Grand Master of the Mint, and of the Art of Love, and Mr. -Arthur Chichester, contrary to their particular wishes; and at his own -earnest, urgent and especial desire expressed in a letter now in my -possession, the Earl of Clanricarde. - -Oh muse, &c. &c. &c., grant me eloquence to do justice to my subjects -on that great and mighty occasion! In the meantime let me conclude, or -rather let us proceed to draw these anecdotes into something like the -form of a conclusion, because I their writer am tired of them, if you -the reader of them are not. - -My friend Rosabella permitted her interesting son to pass a week with my -impudent nephew, George Woodcock, on our return to Paris. - -"What would you give to be as clever as Carlo?" said I, on the day after -he had left us to return to his college. - -"Clever!" repeated George, in a tone of infinite contempt. "Clever! He -is the greatest ass in the world. Why he plays at cricket in gloves! -Clever indeed! Only come and see him swim!" - -My sister Fanny never came to the continent, and, when I again joined -her in London some months afterwards, I found her in very indifferent -spirits. - -"In vain do I strive," said Fanny to me, "I cannot get the better of -Parker's marriage, and I never shall." - -One day, while I was dressing to drive out in my carriage, my -servant informed me that Fanny had just called on me, and was in the -drawing-room. I was surprised that she did not come up to my bedroom, -that being her constant habit whenever I happened to be at my toilette. -I hurried on my pelisse, and went down to join her. She was sitting near -the window, with her head reclined on her hand, and appeared more than -usually pensive. - -"My dear Fanny," said I, "what is the matter? Why did not you come -upstairs?" - -"I feel a weight here," said she, laying her hand on her heart. "It is -not a weight of spirits only; but there is something not right here. I -am sick and faint." - -"A drive in Hyde Park will do you good," said I, and we were soon seated -in the carriage. Turning down Baker Street we saw Colonel Parker. Fanny -was greatly agitated. He did not seem to have observed us. - -"I dare say he is only just come to town, and means to call and see -his child," said I, hoping to enliven her. We then drove twice up the -Park, and Fanny made an effort to answer the beaux who flocked around -the carriage, with cheerfulness. Suddenly she complained to me again of -sickness, occasioned by some pressure or tightness about the heart. - -"I am sorry to take you from this gay scene," said poor Fanny, "but I -am too unwell to remain." I immediately pulled the check-string, and -desired my coachman to drive to Hertford Street, Mayfair, where Fanny -was then residing. After remaining with her half an hour she begged me -to leave her, while she endeavoured to obtain a little sleep. She made -light of the sickness, and told me to call and take her into the park -on the following day. I did so, and, just as I was stepping out of my -carriage in Hertford Street for that purpose, Lord Hertford came running -downstairs to join me, from Fanny's apartment. - -"Don't get out, Harriette," said he, "as you will only lose time; but go -directly for a surgeon. I was going myself. Fanny is very ill, and her -physician has prescribed bleeding, without loss of time." - -In the most extreme agitation I hurried after the surgeon and brought -him with me in my carriage. Fanny was now affected with such a violent -palpitation of the heart that its pulsations might be distinctly seen at -the opposite side of the room through her handkerchief. - -"I am very ill, Harriette," said the dear sufferer, with encouraging -firmness, holding out her hand to me; "but don't frighten yourself. -I shall soon get better: indeed I shall. Bleeding will do me good -directly," continued she, observing, with affectionate anxiety, the fast -gathering tears in my eyes. - -I called Lord Hertford aside, and addressed him: "Tell me, I earnestly -implore you, most candidly and truly, do you think Fanny will recover?" - -"I do not think she ever will," answered Hertford. - -"Nonsense!" said I, forcing my mind by an effort to disagree with him. -"Fanny was so perfectly well the day before yesterday, so fresh, and -her lips so red and beautiful; and then many people are afflicted with -these palpitations of the heart, and recover perfectly." - -"If her pulse beat with her heart, I should have hopes; but her pulse is -calm, and I have none. Disorders of the heart are incurable." - -Instead of wishing to display feeling, Lord Hertford seemed ashamed, and -afraid of feeling too much. - -For another fortnight, Fanny's sufferings were dreadfully severe and, -being quite aware of her danger, she requested that her body might be -examined after her death for the benefit of others. My readers will, I -hope, do me the justice to acquit me of affectation, when I say that -this subject still affects me so deeply, I cannot dwell upon it. All the -world were anxiously, and almost hourly, inquiring if there were hope: -Sir William Knighton and Sir John Millman, her medical attendants, gave -us none, or very slight hopes, even from the first hour. - -Fanny never slept, nor enjoyed a single interval of repose. Her courage -and patient firmness exceeded all I had imagined possible, even in a -man. Once, and once only, she spoke of Colonel Parker; for it was the -study of every moment of her life to avoid giving us pain. Fanny called -me to her bedside: it was midnight. - -"Harriette, remember, for my sake, not to be very angry with poor -Parker. It is true, you have written to say I am ill, and he refuses to -come and shake hands with me; but then, believe me, he does not think me -so ill as I really am, or he would come. Oblige me by forgiving him! Now -talk to me of something else: no more of this pray!" - -I pressed her hand and immediately changed the subject. She begged, when -we told her of Lord Hertford having had straw put down by her door, and -of all his constant, steady attentions, that, when he came next, she -might see him and thank him. In consequence of this request, he was -admitted on the following morning. Fanny was not able to talk much; but -she seemed gratified and happy to see him. When his lordship was about -to depart, she held out her hand to him. Hertford said, in a tone of -much real feeling, "God bless you, poor thing," and then left the room. - -A monster, in the shape of a nurse to Colonel Parker's child, Louisa, -took this opportunity to remain out with the infant the whole of the -night! I will no longer dwell on this subject; for, indeed, I cannot. - -Fanny was my only friend on earth. I had no sister but her. She was my -hope, and my consoler in affliction, ever eloquent in my defence, and -would not have forsaken me to have become the wife of an emperor, but -God willed Fanny's Death. - - I saw her laid low in her kindred vaults, - And her immortal part with angels lives. - -Only three weeks had elapsed since Fanny's lovely, laughing countenance, -as she drove round the ring in Hyde Park, excited the admiration of all -who beheld her. Her life was ebbing fast, when her friends acceded to -her earnest desire to be removed to a more airy situation. - -Reclined at length on a couch, in her new apartment, Fanny's spirits -appeared so much improved as to encourage hopes which had become extinct. - -"Do you not breathe with rather less pain?" I asked, while I pressed her -cold damp hand between my own. - -"At all events," answered poor Fanny, "I would rather die here, than in -the close apartment I have just quitted. How sweet and refreshing the -flowers smelt, as I was carried along the garden! I did not see them, -for I could not endure the light. I wish I could," continued Fanny, -fixing her clear, still lovely blue eyes on my face beseechingly. "The -prospect, I understand, is most beautiful, from the room above us; but I -shall never see it." - -"Do, dearest Fanny," said I, making a violent effort to conceal my -tears, lest they should agitate my suffering sister, "let me open one of -the shutters a very little. The air is mild and delicious, and the heat -no longer oppressive, as it was when you passed through the garden." - -The last ray of the setting sun fell on poor Fanny's pale, beautiful -features, as I drew back the curtains. It was one of those lovely -evenings in the month of June, which often succeed a thunder-storm, and -the honeysuckles, which clustered round the windows, emitted a rich and -fragrant perfume. - -I asked her if the fresh air did not enliven her a little. - -She requested to have her head raised, and I rested it on my bosom. - -"Alas!" said poor Fanny, "gloriously as the sun is setting, I may now -behold it for the last time!" - -Cold drops hung on her fair, lovely forehead. I feared that the -slightest agitation would destroy at once the fragile being I held -in my arms, and yet, mastered by the strong impulse of irresistible -tenderness, I suddenly imprinted a kiss on my sister's dying lips. - -The last tear poor Fanny ever shed trembled in her eyes. Forcing -a smile, I now endeavoured to address her with cheerfulness, and -administered her last draught of goat's milk, which she held firmly in -her hand without requiring my assistance. - -"I did not believe I should shed another tear," said Fanny, brushing -away the drops which were stealing slowly down her fair, wan cheeks. -"Pray for me, Harriette! Pray that my sufferings may soon cease." - -"I do pray for you, my poor sister, and God knows how earnestly. Be -assured, dearest, that your sufferings will very soon cease. You will -recover, or you will be at rest for ever. Remember my love, that we have -all committed many faults, and you may be called upon to suffer yet a -few more hours, as your only punishment, before you are permitted to -rest eternally with your God. Yet a little fortitude, my dearest Fanny. -It is all that will be required of you." - -Fanny seemed deeply impressed with what I had said. Her agony was at -that moment dreadfully severe. She crossed her hands on her breast, -and there was something sublime in the stern expression her features -assumed, while she suppressed the cries which nature would almost have -wrung from her. She compressed her lips, and her brow was contracted. In -this attitude, with her eyes raised to heaven, she appeared a martyr, -severe in virtue and almost masculine fortitude. - -"I am better," said Fanny, half an hour after having made this strong -effort. - -"Thank God!" I ejaculated, taking hold of her hand. - -"What o'clock is it?" she inquired. - -"Near seven." - -"I am very sleepy. I could sleep, if you would promise to continue -holding my hand, and would not leave me." - -I placed myself close to my sister, with her cold damp hand clasped -between both of mine. - -"I am near you, always, dearest," said I. "Sleeping or waking, I shall -never leave you more." Fanny threw her arms once more round my neck, and -with a convulsive last effort pressed me to her heart. - -"May the Almighty for ever bless you!" said she, and, sinking back on -her pillow, a gentle sleep stole on her senses. I watched her lovely -countenance with breathless anxiety. - -In less than an hour poor Fanny opened her eyes and fixed them on me -with a bright smile, expressive of the purest happiness. - -"I am quite well," said Fanny, in a tone of great animation. - -Again her eyes closed and her breathing became shorter. - -Suddenly, a slight convulsion of the upper lip induced me to place my -trembling hand on my sister's heart. - -I felt it beat! - -Joy flushed my face with a momentary hectic---- - -And then, hope fled for ever! - -Fanny's cheek, still warm and lovely, rested on her arm. The expression -of pain and agony was exchanged for the calm, still, innocent smile of a -sleeping infant. - -I had felt the last faint vibration of poor Fanny's heart. - - - - -CHAPTER XLII - - -It was some time previous to the death of my sister, that I was induced -by the advice of Mr. Brougham and Mr. Treslove to commence proceedings -against the Duke of Beaufort for the recovery of the small annuity he -had thought fit to deprive me of. - -I have already related the circumstance of my having refused to marry -Lord Worcester over and over again, solely to relieve the minds of his -parents, and further went down to Oxford to implore Worcester, by all -his future hopes of happiness, to pass his solemn word to the duke and -duchess never to marry me; and it was only at my request he could be -induced to promise to go abroad for one year, on condition that his -father made me an allowance. This the duke gladly agreed to, and sent -Worcester to me, accompanied by his attorney, to ask me what I required. - -"Enough to pay for my board only," was my reply. "Nor do I require bonds -or signatures. The duke is a gentleman, and will take care that the -person who has complied with all his wishes shall not come to want. Of -that I am well satisfied." - -Robinson told me to fear nothing, and down I went into Devonshire, -where I might have wanted bread, without obtaining a shilling or an -answer to any one of my letters addressed to His Grace, had I not, after -waiting four or five months, been obliged to threaten that I would -join Worcester in Spain. This, and this only, brought a polite letter, -enclosing two quarters of the promised allowance, from His Grace. - -[Illustration: A VIEW taken in HYDE PARK.] - -I should like to know if His Grace or his noble son will take upon them -to deny any of these facts, or that he did not desire me to make my own -terms if I would not marry Worcester? and for which, all the world are -crying "Off! Off! Off!" to the Duke of Beaufort, just as if he were Kean -the actor. At all events, the facts I am now proceeding to relate were -public. - -Neither Brougham nor Treslove could be induced to believe that, since -the Duke of Beaufort had bestowed a small annuity on me for the purpose -of separating me from Lord Worcester, it could ever be His Grace's -wish to rob me of that annuity, while the intent and purpose of it was -fulfilled. I had indeed written a few lines to Lord Worcester, trusting -to their humanity to forgive me for the exercise of mine; but, since my -letter did not interrupt the object of the bond, which was to separate -us, nobody would believe that the duke wished to throw on the world, me, -who might have been his daughter, without the means of existence. - -"The duke will prefer giving you fifty thousand pounds," said the duke's -attorney to me. - -My answer was, "Were I selfish, I would marry Worcester." - -To satisfy these incredulous gentlemen, I renewed my applications to His -Grace; but they were unattended to, as before. - -As the day of trial drew near, I expressed my astonishment to my legal -advisers that they wished me to bring forward a case like this, which I -must inevitably lose if Lord Worcester produced the letter I wrote to -him, which was directly in the teeth of the conditions of the bond. - -"Fear nothing," was Brougham's answer. "Lord Worcester cannot appear in -it without irremediable disgrace and loss of character." - -"How can you imagine it possible," asked Brougham, "that Lord Worcester, -the man who for years together has sworn to make you his wife, can -appear in evidence against you, for the purpose of leaving you -destitute, and effectually robbing you of the trifling independence -which you were gracious enough to be satisfied with, when you might have -been Duchess of Beaufort?" - -I was at last almost convinced that Lord Worcester could not act thus. - -"If he does he ought to be ashamed of himself," said Fred Bentinck, "and -so I shall tell him. I always tell everybody exactly what I think of -them, for my part." - -The day of trial arrived. Thee very hour approached, and Worcester -had not obeyed his father's peremptory summons to come up to town and -attend as evidence against me. The duke, knowing there could be no other -witness, was in a terrible fever of agitation, as my attorney told me. - -Just at the last, when the furious duke had given up all hopes of -his son, he, in a great fright, proposed to my attorney to pay him -twelve hundred pounds, rather than stand the event of the trial -alone, and Brougham had scarcely given his written consent to this -compromise, which was immediately signed, when the most liberal, -generous, high-minded, and noble Marquis of Worcester stepped out of his -travelling carriage, and came driving towards the scene of action, with -my poor, ill-fated letter in his hand. Such at least is my attorney's -account of the business. He may be referred to by the incredulous. I was -not present. - -Thus was I indebted to the duke's fears of wanting a witness, or being -hissed out of court, for the sum of twelve hundred pounds, which was -handed to me as soon as I had accompanied the attorney to Westminster -Hall and taken the following oath: - - "THE KING'S BENCH, - "Between Harriette Wilson, Plt. - and - "His Grace the Duke of Beaufort, Deft. - "Harriette Wilson of the above named - - plaintiff, maketh oath, and saith that she hath, in the - schedule hereunder written, set forth a full and true list of all - the letters, papers, and writings in her possession, or power, - written by the Marquis of Worcester to this deponent, and that - she hath not retained or delivered to any person, any copies, or - extracts of them, or any or either of them, save and except any - extract that this deponent may have sent or delivered to the above - defendant." - -And now good-bye, Beaufort. - -I forgot to mention my having met with Lord Francis Conyngham, now Earl -of Mount Charles, in Paris, with whose beauty I was much attracted. -There was nothing national in his manner, nor, I think, in his -character. He was perhaps rather cold; but amiable and truly unaffected. -Such as he was, I remember he interested me very much. I did not fall -in love with him, partly because he had the tremendous bad taste not to -fall in love with me; but his ill health and his cough induced me to -encourage somewhat of the tenderness of a mamma towards him; and I used -to dream about his eyes, they were so very blue and beautiful. - -I have often met the young Marquis of Graham too, who is not very -popular, as I am told; but that is nothing to me. - -Any fool may be popular: it is the easiest thing in the world. - -Only be a good listener and praise everybody on the face of the earth, -that is the whole fact. - -However, Lord Graham is rather reserved; _mais ne meprisez pas les -personnes froides; elles ont leurs bons cotes._ Lord Graham is very -just, friendly, and strictly honourable, neither is he the stupid person -many imagine him to be. For my own part, I like Lord Graham, and always -have had reason to like him; and I am sure Beau Brummell would like him, -because his clothes are uniformly so well made and in such good taste. - -My readers will believe that my poor sister's death affected me deeply, -and my health suffered seriously from my anxiety and want of rest. About -two days after I had seen my dear sister buried, Amy appeared to feel -something like compassion for the weak state in which she found me. She -suddenly took me in her arms, and told me she feared I should die, and -then burst into a flood of tears, as she added that she knew well she -had never been kind to me! - -Everything was forgiven from my heart and soul at that moment; but Amy -soon ran up a fresh score of offences, just in her usual way. - -I cannot in justice help relating Sophia's kind attention to her sister -Fanny in her last moments. Not that there was merit in one sister loving -another, who was too amiable ever to have made a single enemy in her -life: one, whom the most cold-blooded and unfeeling could not but love: -yet, still I am glad I can, with truth, affirm that Sophia did her duty -in this instance, and Amy also, in the daytime. The night-watching -devolved entirely on me; but whoever else might have watched poor Fanny -I would never have quitted her. - -From the hour of my sister's death, my dearest mother's health visibly -declined, and exactly three months after Fanny had breathed her last, -I followed my parent to her grave. From that period I was for more -than two months confined to my room, and, generally, to my bed, with a -violent liver complaint, or I know not what. - -"It is liver," said Doctor Bree, "and she must swallow plenty of -mercury." - -"No such thing," said Doctor Nevinson. "It is neither more nor less -than over-excitement of the nerves, with too much anxiety, fatigue, and -distress of mind." - -"All this has disordered her liver," reiterated Doctor Bree, who has -written a book on people's livers. - -"I won't stand it," said Doctor Nevinson; "and, before Harriette begins -upon your mercury, I will call in Dr. Pemberton." - -"Never mind that cough, ma'am," said Pemberton: "you may keep it till -you are eighty, and it will be an amusement to you. It is only a nervous -cough." - -However I continued very ill in spite of all these gentlemen could do -for me. - -When my spirits and health were at their very worst, I was informed -that poor Julia was dying and wanted to see me. I could not refuse her -request. Her features bore the fixed rigidity of death when I entered -her room. Her complaint, like her late poor friend's, was a disease of -the heart, and there was no remedy. - -She talked much of her dear Fanny, and said she had been certain from -the first that she should soon follow her to the grave. - -I insisted on writing to Napier, who was at Melton Mowbray. - -"No! no!" said poor Julia. "If you will lend me your carriage, I am sure -I shall be able to join him in a few days. I shall soon be better." - -I wrote notwithstanding, and Napier came to her, kneeled by her bedside, -read the service of the dead, and then--and then he again read prayers -to her. All this he afterwards told me himself. - -"You must have killed her," said I, "in so dreadfully weak a state as -she was in." - -This conversation took place some weeks after her death. - -"Nonsense," replied Napier. "Why say such cruel unfeeling things to me? -Upon my honour, there was no chance for poor, sweet, dear Julia, who was -the image of death when I----" - -"Oh Julia! Angel Julia! I cannot bear it!" he added, pulling his hair, -and throwing the handsome pillows of my new sofa all about the room. - -"_Doucement! doucement! s'il vous plait,_" I observed. "Julia was my -friend, I regret her certainly; but my feelings are so deeply affected -by the death of my adored mother, whom God knows how I have loved, that -there is scarcely room in my heart for any other grief, and, at all -events, I don't quite see the use of your knocking my new sofa about." - -"Very true," said Napier, suddenly jumping up; and, having wiped his -eyes with the back of his hand, he began briskly to make fierce love to -me. - -"But Julia?" said I. - -"Oh, Julia!" retorted he, banging another pillow on the ground, "I had -her laid out in state, and wax candles were kept burning round her -coffin for a fortnight: and I paid half of all her debts!" - -"Suppose you had paid the whole?" - -"Nonsense! They were very thankful for half." - -"And what is to become of her poor children?" - -"A noble relative has taken one, and Lord Folkestone another, and Mrs. -Armstrong is consulting me about the rest." - -There was nothing on earth, not even Fanny nor Lord Ponsonby, I ever -loved, as I loved my mother. I do not dwell on the subject, nor on the -manner of her death; because it is to me a very sacred one. No one, not -even Amy, will call my affection for that beloved, that sainted parent, -in question. - -I am now about to return to Paris, from where I propose sending -Stockdale this volume, or continuation of my _Memoirs,_ provided you are -all grateful and civil for the trouble I have already given myself; but -I will pause now, at this period of my endeared parent's death; for my -habits and character became more serious and melancholy from that hour. -Meyler's sudden death too, which happened soon afterwards, certainly -added much to those cold, desponding sensations, with which I was now -often affected. - -One night I dreamed that I saw my dearest mother standing at the top of -a high hill or mountain: so high that her head seemed almost to touch -the clouds, and her drapery was of such indefinite texture, that I -doubted whether I saw a shadow or a real substance. She looked very pale -and beautifully placid, as she pointed towards the heavens, fixing her -eyes on my face. - -I would have given half my existence when I awoke for such another -dream! Having, in that hope, vainly courted sleep for several hours, my -mind being deeply impressed with the subject, I sat down. I imagined -the vision subjoined, with which I will for the present conclude, after -wishing to all, a good night and pleasant dreams, and slumbers light. - - - - -A VISION - - - As balmy sleep had charmed my cares to rest, - And love itself was banished from my breast, - A train of phantoms, in wild order, rose, - And, joined, this intellectual scene, compose. - - -Methought a spirit beckoned me, from the height of a steep mountain: its -drapery appeared to be now of earthly texture, and anon but the bright -rays of the sun, glittering on a cloud, which enveloped the form of an -angel. Her beautiful features were benignly placid. The shadowy paleness -of her countenance seemed as though touched by the moon's softest -beam; yet it was the bright sun, in the meridian of its splendour, and -oppressed me with its heat. To ascend the vast acclivity of the mountain -presented a work of such danger and fatigue that I hesitated. The spirit -turned from me with an expression of tender sorrow. Its profile, which -now became visible, was familiar to me! I threw myself on my knees and -raised my clasped hands to Heaven! "I will endure thy sun's scorching -rays, O God of Mercy!" said I, "with the toils and perils of this thorny -road, in meek resignation to thy Divine will. Grant me but life to -accomplish the task!" - -A smile now irradiated the features of the beautiful vision. Hope, -doubt, and anxiety were blended in its expression, while the calm of -angels' happiness prevailed, as though the spirit had passed the ordeal -of human sufferings. She pointed with her right hand to the heavens; -and, as she raised her eyes in the same direction, I saw a seraphic, -radiant smile illumine her countenance for an instant, and then the -figure was indistinctly veiled by the clouds, into which, gradually -blending, it receded from my sight into thin air. My tears now fell in -despondency at the dangers and labour of the task I had undertaken; -yet I toiled on with indefatigable industry. "Oh! for the light of thy -benign countenance, to cheer me on my dreary road," said I, sighing -heavily. "Yet no! rest thou in pure eternal happiness, unclouded by the -sight of early sufferings." - -The sharp, burning stones and flints wounded my feet and caused me -extreme anguish. At length, exhausted in body, though unsubdued in -mind, I sunk down on the earth, hoping, by a short interval of rest, to -recover my strength. Suddenly, the air was fanned with soft refreshing -breezes; the feathered choir chanted their enlivening strains; the trees -about me were covered with ripe, delicious fruit; luxurious repasts were -profusely spread in groves, where nymphs enjoyed the fragrant shades, -or danced and gambolled in wild and careless gaiety. A lovely female, -fantastically though tastefully habited, smilingly entreated me to turn -from my thorny road and follow her; but gay luxury possessed no charms -for one who ambitioned higher joys. Hunger, thirst, and labour, with the -goal of happiness in view, were more suited to my character, nor dreamed -I of merit in declining mere senseless ease. Again I prostrated myself -on the earth, and, pressing my hands to my burning temples, prayed for -strength sufficient to keep out despondency. - -The gates of pleasure now were closed upon me. My head became giddy. My -lungs were oppressed, and I was sinking to the earth, when I felt myself -withheld, by the firm grasp of some one behind me, who placed me gently -on the ground, and presented to my lips some fruit, which instantly -revived me. - -On opening my eyes, I beheld at my side an aged man, whose white beard -descended to his middle. "I am called Fortitude," said he. "My hand -alone can lead you to the summit of your wishes. We will perform our -task together. Nor will I forsake you till you forsake yourself." - -Invigorated by the fruits which were presented to me by Fortitude, and -comforted with the prospect of a friend to guide my trembling steps, we -now continued our way along the pathless, barren track of the mountain, -which seemed to mock my eagerness and retire as I advanced. - -Suddenly, the atmosphere was impregnated with the odour of the Indian -berry, which grew in immense quantities around me. My senses were -affected by it, and a voluptuous indolence began to steal over me. My -hand shrunk from the grasp of Fortitude, who continued his firm and -undeviating road, frequently beckoning me to follow him. My eagerness -now relaxed. My senses were overpowered, and I scarcely regretted my -stern guide, when the windings of the mountain concealed him from -my sight. At this time, I beheld, coming towards me, a being of -extraordinary beauty. His age might be near thirty, judging by the -strong growth of a beard, which curled in rich abundance over his chin; -but his dark blue eye of fire told him younger. - -"I am called Passion," said he. "There lies your road to Peace and -Happiness," and he pointed to the height of the mountain. "Misery is -here, and, though left of all when you forsake me, I scorn to complain. -I deceive none but the weak and the wilful. If this bursting heart, this -writhing lip speak not, leave me to the fate I deserve, and which I -shall meet undismayed. Misery lies this way," repeated Passion, tearing -his luxurious hair in all the frenzy of maddened sensation, while his -teeth gnawed his nether lip till the red current disfigured a mouth of -unequalled loveliness. He was turning from me with rapidity. - -"Stay," said I faintly. He snatched me to his heart in all the wildness -of frenzy. His heaving bosom seemed to threaten suffocation. His -ardent gaze, and the liquid fire flashing from his eyes, dazzled and -bewildered me. They spoke of feelings but guessed at by our softer -nature; yet coloured by our sanguine minds even beyond reality. The -pulsations of his heart were seen, nay almost heard; and still he curbed -the passion which was consuming him; and still he had not pressed the -lip, which quivered with delicious expectation. Now, with an effort -almost supernatural, he threw me from him. His cheeks, late vermilion -glow, were changed to the ashy paleness of death; his Herculean strength -to the feebleness of infancy. - -"Pursue thy happier path," said he, in accents scarcely audible, "nor -seek thy destruction." - -I threw myself on his bosom----. The delirium was succeeded by total -insensibility, from which I slowly recovered, and, opening my languid -eyes, I beheld myself in the arms of a hideous satyr! - -The fright and horror which I experienced awoke me. - - - - -POSTSCRIPT - -BY THE EDITOR - - -In every age of life, man requires relaxation after the fatigues and the -cares of business: but the distinction of rank and the forms of modern -society prevent his enjoying freedom of social intercourse. Hence have -arisen, in France, those assemblies of literary men, who, under the -presidency of some celebrated lady, have distinguished themselves by -their labours, and have enriched their country in the various branches -of science and of literature. - -The utility and advantage to literary men of communicating their -ideas have been equally felt in this country; and, from the time of -Shakespeare to that of Johnson, mixed societies have been formed, in -the freedom and conviviality of mirth, for the discussion of literary -subjects. By these means, strength and copiousness have been imparted to -the English language. The French, too, have introduced more correctness -and elegance into their language, similar to the Greeks in the time of -Pericles, by a greater devotion to the muses. - -Monsieur Barthelemi speaking of the influence of Aspasia on the arts, -the society, and the literature of Greece says, "_Les Grecs furent -encore moins etonnes de sa beaute, que de son eloquence, que de la -profondeur, et des agrements de son esprit. Socrate, Alcibiade, les -gens de lettres, et les artistes, les plus renommes, les Atheniens, et -les Atheniennes les plus aimables, s'assemblaient aupres de cette femme -singuliere, qui parlait, a touts, leur langue, et qui s'attirait les -regards de touts._ - -If a Prince of Wales should not think it unbecoming in him to have -honoured the society of Mrs. Abington, it is not less creditable to -the first Marquis of Lansdowne, Mr. Sheridan, and other celebrated -characters, to have appreciated the elegance, the accomplishments and -the acquirements of that lady. - -Comparisons are odious, says some saw or adage, therefore, without -comparing Harriette Wilson to any of her predecessors, it is due to -her from me, her editor, to say that she first introduced order and -decorum into the reign of fashion, that she reformed and improved the -great world, that she established regulations, among which was one, -that no man should be introduced into her world until he had been first -presented to her, and another, that due homage should be paid to her in -all public places. - -That Miss Wilson did possess an undivided allegiance, no one who has -lived in our times will be so daring or so venturesome as to deny; -that she established a voluntary submission to her power, it will be -presumption to doubt; that she has subdued conquerors, and that she -has drawn within the influence of her dominion, great and celebrated -characters, whether by the charms of her conversation, the sprightliness -of her ready wit, or the elegance of her manners, by the glare of her -beauty, by the sweet tones of her voice, or by a combination of all, -those who have been attracted by her enchantments, if the spell be -now broken, may be able to explain. It may be attributed to her, as -to Orpheus, who, as we all recollect, by the power of his music tamed -wild beasts and monsters of every kind, that all were obedient to her -voice. Not that I mean to insinuate that her lovers were wild beasts -or monsters, until they were drawn into the vortex of her numerous -attractions, and thus became humanised and polished, though a keener -satirist than myself might furnish some small portion of amusement, by -tracing certain wild and monstrous propensities, which might be compared -with their untamed and domesticated state, and their conduct and habits -since they have divested themselves of the silken cords by which, while -in her custody, they had been directed or restrained. - -We have now seen Miss Wilson in various fluctuations of her reign; but -not in all of them. She has already promised some further sketches. If -she has endeavoured, in her _Memoirs,_ to illustrate the characters of -those who principally figure in them, while she has wielded the lash of -truth, she has lost no opportunity to do justice to their merits. - -These _Memoirs_, in their character of fidelity, which no one can -reasonably doubt, assume a rank of more than common consideration. The -accuracy with which the author has drawn her different characters is -such, that, in every single instance, they must have been recognised by -their intimates, had no names been attached to them; and herein, she has -just right to rank with the very few impartial and fearless historians -of their own times; but she has also the higher claim of having -conferred on the moral state of society in Europe, such a benefit as is -I believe without parallel. - -This publication cannot fail to produce the greatest moral effect on the -present and future generations. If - - Vice is a monster, of such hideous mien, - That, to be hated, needs but to be seen, - -when has vice ever been so unsparingly exposed? Who has hitherto ever -had the courage to beard the lion in his den; to drag forth the monster -from his most secret recesses, from his most impregnable fastnesses, -in the castles of earthly power, strip him of the armour with which he -had been, as not he only, but almost every one, supposed, invincibly -clad, by the very giants of rank and fortune, and exhibit him shorn, at -once, of all those glorious beams, whose dazzling glare blinded even the -strongest-sighted spectators, deprived of all his means to do mischief, -and harmless and submissive as the veriest pet lamb. - -On the subject of the line generally taken by the journalists of this -country in reference to these _Memoirs,_ it was my wish to have analysed -their conduct with the same freedom they themselves have assumed. The -publisher however prefers to choose his own time and place and mode of -treating them. They may, notwithstanding, solace themselves with my -assurance that a day of retribution will come, and may be nearer than -many of them anticipate. He has, in the meantime, subjoined an extract -of a letter from Colonel Rochfort, to Mr. Stockdale, dated Paris 24th of -March: it runs thus, smoothly and pithily enough: - -"I shall not talk, or write about vulgar editors: but shall act, the -first time I come to England, practically; and, if you like, you shall -see me." - -This will do, for the present, from the husband and the publisher. Mrs. -Rochfort speaks also for herself, of the learned doctor who edits the -_New Times_ and I shall venture to add, _ex uno, disce omnes._ - - * * * * * - -HER ANSWER, TO THE EDITOR OF THE "NEW TIMES," IS AS FOLLOWS: - -"While expressing my sincere gratitude to such friends as have held -out a helping hand towards me, it would have been very ungrateful on -my part, to have omitted some brief acknowledgment to my most cordial -supporter the brilliant editor of the _New Times_ newspaper. He, in a -paragraph of at least a foot long, with true, genuine, manly dignity -loads me, a female, who never injured him nor meant him harm, with the -coarsest abuse, bestowing on me the most ungentlemanlike epithets! - -"My book was going on well, it is true: still, there were, no doubt, -thousands of young ladies who had neither read it, nor dreamt of reading -it, when this paragraph of the kind and judicious editor, like the apple -upon Eve, so worked upon their imagination and excited their curiosity: - -"'Most earnestly do we call on our fair countrywomen not to suffer such -pollution to approach them, &c. &c. &c.' - -"He then goes on to prose something about pickling or preserving the -chastity of virgins and matrons. - -"Now, if such a notice as the above was not actually meant to excite -curiosity, and, by making the book circulate, effect the very horrors -which he deprecates, I appeal to the candour of readers in general, -whether this editor's total ignorance of human nature as well as of the -nature and properties of young ladies, does not entirely disqualify him -for the profession of an editorial partisan. He must indeed be a weak -and silly and spiteful sort of a reptile not worth my notice, were it -not for my naturally grateful disposition, the man's long-winded oration -having put money into my pocket; yet he is said to be a doctor, learned -in the law, ycleped LL.D. and very probably A.S.S. - -"Great ends are often effected by little means. I am sorry he has worked -himself up into such a desperately vengeful fit against me; because, -really, when I, in the first Volume, mentioned Sophy's porkman having -wrapped her black pudding up with a dirty piece of _Times_ newspaper, I -never thought of calling its editor a dirty fellow, as that most worthy -gentleman has taken it: but, could I help a cap fitting now and then, -though it was never made to order? I declare, I merely conceived the -porkman's greasy hands had made a dirty _Times_ newspaper of it; for, -whether it be good or bad composition, I know not, as it is a paper -which neither I nor any other well-bred person of my acquaintance ever -looks into. - -"I would appeal, even to Fred. Lamb himself, on whom I perhaps have been -a little too severe, whether the editor's anonymous, personal, and low -abuse of me, who affix my name to my _Memoirs_, is not disgraceful to -any man? - -"And then the worthy editor winds up his oration with an argument, -which, to all noble fathers and parents of high taste and renown, must -be found irresistible. He declares that his mighty immaculate pigmies, -Gogs or Magogs, the Miss New Times's, or the Misses New Times, shall not -read one line of my book! - -"_Quel malheur! tant pour les Misses New Times, que pour moi!_ - -"But who on earth are the Miss New Times's? We declare, plurally -speaking, in humble imitation of the worthy editor, that we never once -knew, saw, nor heard of such people, or if we did, like our Latin, we -have forgotten them. - -"Editors, I humbly suppose, ought to be something like gentlemen, and -if, though they may be old ladies, they are really moral characters too, -I conceive they would be justified in expressing with manly firmness, -their disapproval of any publication which they believed to be dangerous -or improper; but the low meanness of loading with abuse a female like -me, whose only protector resides on the continent, is the more cowardly, -inasmuch as the said editors never applied those epithets to Lady -Caroline Lamb, nor, in short, to any lady whose husband happened to be -at hand, with that hand ready to pull their noses, if they have courage -enough to let them appear. - -"Now I beg to ask the editor of the _New Times,_ what can be more -immoral than Lady Caroline Lamb, a wife and mother, publishing her -own desperate love-letters to Lord Byron, written under her husband's -own roof? Yet what editor ever took to task a lady whose friends were -on the spot? While this bold champion of the public morals spits his -toad-like venom on me, who never yet deceived, nor acted a dishonourable -part towards anybody, except myself, and who was at first forced into -that unfortunate situation, which the heartless conduct of my former -acquaintances obliged me to continue in. Yet, whatever may have been -their sins against me, I am confident, as of my existence, that they -will all express their unequalified disgust at the editor's unmanly -abuse of me." - -Thus far the fair auto-biographer. The whole and sole conduct of the -editors may be defined in one word, selfishness. Their private pecuniary -interest, and that alone, influenced their proceedings. They one and all -expected to derive pecuniary advantage from the conduct they adopted in -regard to these _Memoirs_, and, while many of them were abusing her, for -having endeavoured to get money by her work, their single object was the -very same, whether they affected to be loud in their complaints, whether -they assumed a tone of moderation, or whether they were wholly silent--a -very rare occurrence! - -Scarcely inferior to the abuse of the press has been the abuse of power -in the same case. Happy indeed is it for all concerned, and most happy -for the general interests of society, that we live in a country where -those who wield the sharpest swords with the most skilful hands, have -even their power to oppress limited, and, from the throne itself, have -bounds set to their wishes, by a constitution, which emphatically and -almost with more than mortal voice exclaims, "Thus far shalt thou go and -no farther." - -It will be observed that this work has proved no less obnoxious to those -out of power, than to those in power, and to some, we might almost say, -of every rank and class, from the highest to the lowest. Here then was -an embodied phalanx to be encountered, which the invincible, giant-arm -of truth could alone dare, could alone meet, could alone discomfit. The -great mass of the people, who did not know how soon their turn might -come, exulted indeed in their present security, but dared not venture to -do more than remain neutral: while the very, very few, who, when they -knocked at the door of their own consciences, were sure of a comfortable -answer, gave their unostentatious, almost silent, and not very effective -encouragement to the publisher, not to be borne down by the torrent of -abuse, which glanced harmless from that head which it was intended to -crush and overwhelm, and bury in a heap of disgusting ruins. - -A common interest, it was anticipated, would produce a more than common -union of all the powers; yet great is truth, and it will prevail! - - Amicus Plato, amicus Socrates; sed magis amica veritas. - -The age of all the talents was revived on this occasion. Ministers and -Opposition joined. White's, Brooke's, the United Service, and indeed -all the principal clubs held meetings to extinguish this burning shame, -which threatened an extent of desolation which, it was said, would make -England not worth living in, and some actually quitted, while others -prepared, to quit it in consequence. - -One sapient resolution was that they should not buy these _Memoirs;_ but -the private curiosity of each, to see what figure his companions cut, -rendered that resolve nugatory in a moment. Another resolution was to -withdraw all custom from the publisher, and discountenance and annoy him -in every possible way, especially by actions at law against him. This -has been carried into effect, in a manner perhaps without precedent, -and under the harass and expense of which, most physical and pecuniary -resources would have given way; but here again we have reason to be -thankful, and with the motto, "Be firm and you triumph, fear and you -fall!" we have pretty well weathered the imminent storm. - -Then, probably, as a last resource, but we must not halloa before we -are out of the wood, the strong hand of power put itself forth, in the -person of the representative of our most gracious sovereign at the court -of France. Lord Granville, whose personal beauty when Lord Granville -Leveson Gower was inadequate to obtain him favour in the eyes of our -fair Memoirist, replaced Sir Charles Stuart as ambassador at Paris. His -noble magnanimity instantly rushed forward to seize an opening, however -slight, to revenge the insult on his vanity, which, if it had ever -slept, revived with more than pristine ardour, from the publicity given -to it in this work. As has been already seen, he deprived our heroine -of the right of transmitting her letters direct by the ambassador's -bag. This, however, was an obstacle easy to surmount. Her letters still -passed by the same conveyance; but through an intermediate friend. It -was now evident that her letters were opened, delayed, and sometimes -withheld, and, at last, any letter from her was interdicted a reception -in this select baggage, owing, as was stated, to orders from the Foreign -Office, in consequence of personal dislike of Stockdale, whose letters -were constantly delayed and perused, and not unfrequently suppressed. -Her publisher soon satisfied her that it could not be true that such -conduct prevailed here; because his letters continued to be received -at the Foreign Office, as they had ever been, and therefore that it -must be a false and paltry subterfuge of her Parisian friends, who were -endeavouring by such means to make a breach between author and publisher. - -Convinced by this plain unvarnished tale Mrs. Rochfort made known her -sentiments, and the ambassador's influence soon produced an inquiry in -the Foreign Office, of course promoted by that brilliant and eloquent -satirist, the Right Hon. Secretary, George Canning, to ascertain the -individual who took charge of my letters, and give him a reprimand for -the present and caution for the future. - -The sentiments of the head of the office being now so effectively made -known, Mr. Stockdale soon learnt it by the return of two packets. He -instantly transmitted them to the Earl of Mount Charles, who, he was -confident, from attachment to the lady, had no less the means than -the will to oblige her in so very trifling a matter. What then was -the publisher's surprise, to receive back his letters from Lord Mount -Charles, notwithstanding his lordship had in the customary official -manner put his own initials at the corner of their envelopes, with a -message that Lord Mount Charles had not the means of forwarding them. - -In a trivial case, it would be difficult to instance a more complete, -a more servile, a more degrading submission to the fiat of political -influence than this, by a scion of the most prominent and influential, -if not the most opulent noble, in the peerage of the United Kingdom. -Alas! we cannot parody the line and say of the independence of the young -and high-born heir of the Marquisate of Conyngham. - - And, fled from monarchs, Mount Charles, dwells with thee! - -But we will pursue this disgusting un-Englishlike, and mean abuse of -power no farther, except to say that there is some reason to believe -that the correspondence with this lady, which goes even by the General -Post, at least from her publisher, is not kept inviolate; but whether at -the English or at the French side of the Channel, this deponent saith -not. - -Before I wholly drop this subject, I am requested by Mrs. Rochfort -to say that she has been like her publisher, so annoyed by anonymous -and other impertinence, that, she will henceforth receive no letters -whatever, unless they bear the superscription of the name and seal of -their writers. - -One or two trivial matters still remain to be noticed. - -Charmouth, whither Harriette retired on the Marquis of Worcester's -expatriation, is in Dorsetshire, not in Devonshire. - -The publisher's courteous gallantry to the Countess of Clare induced him -to make a communication to that lady and withhold the portion of the -_Memoirs_ which relates to her, until the printing had proceeded too far -to admit its insertion in its assigned place, where Lord Ponsonby is -spoken of, and this will therefore form part of the further _Memoirs._ - -As the question of piracies, and Mr. Blore's proceedings against the -publisher for libel, will find due publicity in the Court of King's -Bench, I shall also, for the present, take my leave, after unsparing -congratulations on the success of these _Memoirs_, and on _their moral -effects on society and manners throughout the civilised world,_ a -consummation which will be assisted in no small degree by the series -of prints, of which the publication has already commenced, and which, -I cannot hesitate to affirm, are actually unrivalled in this or in any -other country. - -THOMAS LITTLE. - -1_st June,_ 1825. - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Memoirs of Harriette Wilson, -Volumes One and Two, by Harriette Wilson - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MEMOIRS OF HARRIETTE WILSON *** - -***** This file should be named 43617.txt or 43617.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/3/6/1/43617/ - -Produced by Joyce McDonald @ Clare Graham at -http://www.girlebooks.com and Marc D'Hooghe at -http://www.freeliterature.org (Images generously made -available by the Internet Archive.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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