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diff --git a/43292-0.txt b/43292-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3ec1c32 --- /dev/null +++ b/43292-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1544 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 43292 *** + +Wanderings of French Ed +by Joseph Adelard René +Published 1899 +Wright & Company, New York + +The beginning of life is like the morning of a spring day and dreams +are to one's soul what sunshine is to that day--often too brilliant +to last; but human nature needs a stimulant, and that stimulant is +the ideal which takes place in the soul of every human being when +ambition for the future is born. + +Who does not remember nursing golden dreams in days gone by? Such is +the human heart; it lives on fiction, and feeds on happy dreams for +the future. + +When about twenty years of age, Edward Cottret was at the end of his +schooldays, and the desire to realize an old cherished dream was +uppermost in his soul. That old dream was to go to the United States, +make a fortune, come back home and astonish the natives. + +The little village where Edward was living was all excitement when it +was learned that old man Cottret had decided to let his boy Ed go to +the States. Some blamed him, others thought it was proper, but they +all joined in wishing the boy godspeed and good luck. + +The day to depart had arrived, and at the little station parents and +friends were assembled to bid him farewell. His mother and sister +were taking turns kissing him, while crying, and his father, sad but +solemn, stood by, waiting for a last chance to give him, his only +son, fatherly advice. The shrill whistle of the locomotive was heard, +and then it was like the last part of a funeral ceremony, and even +Edward, who up to this time had succeeded in hiding his emotion, felt +his heart growing too big for his chest, and when he held the +quivering hand of Marie Louise, his sweetheart, he completely lost +the power of speech, and when she said: "Ed, don't forget me," he +could only stare at her. + +The train was now ready to start, and standing at the end of the car, +Edward was holding his father's hand, who also felt tears in his +eyes. The last seconds were painful to all, and it almost seemed a +relief when the train moved and handkerchiefs fluttered in the air +his last farewell. Had it not been for the noise made by the moving +train his sobbing would have been heard by those on the platform. + +The last ones to leave the station were his father, his mother, and +his sweetheart. They stood there until the smoke from the locomotive +could be seen no more. Edward saw the last houses of his native +village grow smaller, and long after he could not see them he stood +at the end of the car while tears were coursing down his cheeks. When +he went inside he felt a strange sensation of loneliness which seemed +to increase as the distance grew between him and his village. When +the train stopped at the next small station Edward was tempted to get +out and walk back home; but at this his pride revolted, and the train +as it moved again seemed to mock him. + +Try as he might he could not revive in his soul the old dreams for +the future, and when night came, stretched on the hard benches of the +second class coach, he slept just long enough to dream of his mother +and his village. Once he woke up, thinking he held the quivering hand +of his blue-eyed sweetheart. + +After a restless night, morning found him aching in every limb in his +body, but glad that he was nearing his destination. Worcester, Mass., +was the city where he expected to first walk upon American soil, and +after searching in vain upon the yellow time-table to find the exact +time he would arrive, he turned to a fellow-passenger, a big fat +fellow, whom he addressed in French, saying: "A quelle heure +arriverons nous a Wor-ces-ter?" + +The big fellow look puzzled at first, then smiling, he said: "Talk +United States." + +Edward failed to understand the meaning of "talking United States," +but answered "thank you," trying to look satisfied with the answer. + +About two hours later the conductor came in and said: "Worster! +Worster!" and shortly after the train stopped in a large depot. +Almost everyone stepped out except Edward, who had no idea that +"Worster," as the conductor called it, and "Worcester" were the same +place. "Don't you want to get off here?" asked the conductor. + +"No, I am going to Worcester," answered the French lad, but the +conductor picked up some of his things and smilingly informed him +that he was at the end of his trip. + +After finding his way out of the station, Edward stopped an instant +to look around and immediately he was surrounded by a lot of cabmen +yelling, gesticulating and wanting to take hold of some of the boy's +parcels. Surprised and almost scared he tried to make them understand +something in French, but failed, and he was getting in a rather +embarrassing situation, when an old gentleman, who had witnessed the +proceedings, stepped up to him and asked him in broken French where +he wanted to go. "God bless you!" thought Edward as he looked up into +the kind old gentleman's face, and told him where he wanted to be +directed to. + +The old gentleman walked part way with him, and then gave him +directions to find a hotel kept by a Frenchman, where he said Edward +would be well treated. After a few minutes Edward found himself in +front of a cheap-looking boarding house, bearing the name "Hotel de +Montreal," and he walked in. Every one in the place spoke French, and +he felt at once like a new man. His face brightened up and his +old-time courage came back as he told the proprietor that we wanted to +stop there for a few days. + +The remainder of that day was spent in sight-seeing and in gathering +information about addresses given him by his father and friends of +some compatriots in business in that city, from whom Edward expected +to receive employment and get his start in American life. + +Early the next day he started to call at each place, sure that he +would have no trouble in finding employment, but his enthusiasm was +somewhat cooled when compatriots in business informed him carelessly +that they could do nothing for him. At each succeeding place he met +with the same fate, until a call had been made at every address. + +His modest pocketbook was depleted, and the light of hope that bums +in every man's soul was getting dim, and its rays were like those of +a flickering candle. Golden dreams had left his heart one by one to +make room for the cold and cruel reality. Was that the United States +he had read and heard so much about? Where every one could make +money? True, there was much activity, but it broke his heart to think +he had no part in it. He felt small and lost among these strangers +who passed by him without noticing him; he, who in his native village +was used to be quite an important personage. He would have given ten +years of his life to be back home, but alas! his money was now nearly +all gone. + +That night he went to bed earlier than usual, not to sleep, but to +cry in despair. In the stillness of the night he thought he could +hear the sobbing of his old mother, and in the darkness of his little +room he imagined he could see the sad face of his blue-eyed +sweetheart. He had never thought that life could be so bitter, and to +his young soul the weight of his sorrow was indeed great. + +The next morning, sitting in what they called "the-waiting room," +Edward noticed a young man enter, carrying under his arm a large +package of frames. Edward was attracted by the strange and unhappy +light in the young man's eyes, and the hyper-sympathetic nature of +the French lad made him forget his own misfortunes while looking at +the newcomer. There is a certain affinity between +unfortunates--miserables. After placing his package on the floor the +stranger sat down near Edward, and after rolling a cigarette he turned +toward Edward and asked him for a match, which was handed to him, and +this proved to be the beginning of an acquaintanceship which brought +about a friendship of the kind that endures, and is one of the greatest +gifts to humanity. + +Misery accelerates acquaintanceship, and in a very short time they +knew all about each other. Edward's new-made friend was a Russian, +and his limited knowledge of the French language was a great help in +their conversation. + +Benjamin Oresky, his new friend, told him his story, and with all the +impulsive generosity of his nature, the French lad felt a great wave +of sympathy in his soul for the young Russian. Poor Ben! After +running away from Russia, on account of some trivial political +trouble, he had learned that the government had arrested his father, +accusing him of helping his son to run away to America, and as a +result of this trouble, his mother had died; and he felt guilty of +her death. + +After learning the Russian's sad story Edward felt that his own +misfortune was not near so great as Ben's, and he decided to do all +in his power to help his new friend, at least in a moral way. + +Benjamin Oresky was twenty-one years old; indescribable suffering had +caused premature wrinkles in his handsome face, and the streaks of +silver in his black curly hair told of unhappiness, while in his +brown eyes shone a light born of martyrdom. + +The brotherly love that had sprung up between these two young men was +the result of a condition of circumstances that brought this mystic +virtue in all its purity. It came to their souls like a soothing +balm, and it gave birth to ambitions that otherwise would never have +been felt. + +They were each other's confidant. Their interests were mutual, and in +their friendship they found the nucleus of courage to hold them up in +days of adversity. + +Edward's old dreams of fortune came back, and he succeeded in getting +his new friend to share some of them. A partnership was arranged +between the two, and from this time Edward began to peddle frames +from house to house. It was hard and far from the realization of his +old dreams, but it was better than starvation, and the hope of better +days, combined with the example of the Russian, gave him courage to +follow this rather humble trade. + +At times, when they met at night, after a lucky day and counted their +receipts, they were elated, while other times, not being so +fortunate, they felt discouraged. More than once, Edward decided to +write home for money, but at the last minute his pride stopped him. + +"No, never! I will not let them know that I am poor, humiliated, a +failure!" + +It had been decided that they would go west as soon as they would +have saved the necessary capital, and at last, after three months of +hard work and close economy, they found that they had enough money to +abandon the frame business and start for the West. + +Edward was all excitement. His golden dreams had all come back. After +buying a new suit, he went and had his picture taken, sent one home, +another to Marie Louise, and told them of the wonderful things he was +to accomplish out West. Preparations were made and tickets bought for +St. Paul, Minnesota, and as he stepped aboard the train to leave +Worcester he could not help but think of the difference between his +departure from home and his leaving Worcester now. His heart was +overflowing with gladness, and there was nothing but happy tidings in +his soul. There was no sad parting at the station. No, his only +friend was going along with him, and he felt a keen pleasure in +leaving a city which had been so ungrateful to him. The luxurious +palace car was a revelation to him, who had never seen anything like +it, and he felt like a man who is traveling toward success. He could +hardly refrain himself from singing when the train started, but his +friend Benjamin was indifferent, and when Edward began to speak about +the wonderful things they were to do out West, Benjamin simply +smiled. + +"Won't we be happy, Ben, when we have lots of money?" asked Edward. + +"I may find distraction in making money, and pleasure in seeing you +happy, Ed, but there cannot be any happiness for me," answered the +Russian, with sadness. Then he spoke of his dead mother feelingly. As +to his father, it was a queer anomaly, but the Russian had none of +that filial love of which Edward's heart was so full. No; there was +some mysterious cloud between Benjamin and his father, and Edward +pitied his friend from the bottom of his heart. + +The rumbling noise of the fast train, as it moved toward the West, +was music to Edward's ears, and he enjoyed it too much to be able to +read, and while Benjamin was reading one of Tolstoi's novels, Edward +rested his head on the back of his seat and closed his eyes, letting +his mind wander in dreamland. + +When night came they decided not to buy tickets for the sleeper, in +order to economize, and both slept well, stretched upon the benches +of the palace car. Morning found them both quite fresh, and the +Russian went back to his novel, while Edward studied the faces around +him. + +There were all sorts of faces. Some told of happiness and health, +others spoke plainly of sadness and misfortune; others still were +enigmas--they told of nothing, and if they had known of stormy days, +and drank of some of life's bitter cup, there were no traces left. A +few seats ahead of him Edward noticed a tall chap with his arms +around the waist of a woman with golden hair. Her face told of new +matrimonial bliss and he seemed to be so happy that he was satisfied +to look at his bride without speaking. Edward thought how he would +like to have Marie Louise as his bride and going West also, when he +heard something falling and turning around in the direction where the +noise came from he saw a beautiful young girl who was vainly trying +to pull off part of her sleeve from under the window-shade, which had +just fallen, causing the noise. Edward hesitatingly got up, and +succeeded in releasing the young lady from her awkward position. She +thanked him, and when he looked into her large brown eyes he felt +that they were the most beautiful he had seen in all his life. He +went back to his seat, and felt sorry at once for not having spoken +to her. The more he thought, the more he wanted to speak to her, +until at last, he got up and boldly walked up to her seat, but +imagine his surprise there--he found himself unable to say a word. +She looked up, and seeing his embarrassment, said something that he +failed to understand, but her kind smile brought back his courage and +his power of speech. Picking up her things, she made room on her seat +and he sat down and began the conversation in broken English. + +A woman of twenty, with a mass of auburn hair-that color that is +three in one, golden in the sun, brown in the shade, and dark in the +evening. Her eyes were large and soft, shaded by long eyelashes. It +was difficult to tell their color, but they possessed a magnetic +power that Edward felt at once, and every time he looked in her eyes +he felt dazed. His whole being seemed to become involved in a spell +of strange happiness, and listening to her, he felt that she could +make him her slave. When he told her of his going to St. Paul, +Minnesota, she said that she had often been in that city, and had +many friends living there. Her conversation was easy and fascinating, +and Edward did not dare to make any comparison between her and Marie +Louise, whose name came to his mind more than once. After an hour or +so of conversation she told him that she could speak French, and +immediately proceeded to talk that language, to his astonishment, and +he mildly reproached her for not having spoken that language before. + +"I just love to hear any one speak English the way you do," she said. + +While talking French she held Edward spellbound. She spoke of Daudet, +Zola, George Ohnet, Chartrand, and many other modern novelists of the +French school, and it developed that her favorite authors were also +his. + +"Why don't you stop in Chicago and see the city?" she asked him, at +the same time inviting him to call at her home, and giving him a +dainty, engraved card upon which he read her name: "Nellie King," +with her address written with a lead pencil. + +Edward could hardly believe his ears, and said that he would be +delighted to stop in Chicago, but he was not alone, and his friend +might not want to. + +"I am sure that you can induce your friend to stop a day or two, if +you care to, and I would be very glad to entertain you while in the +city," she said with her most winsome smile. + +"If you really care to have me stop, I will, even if my friend does +not want to," said Edward, entirely decided to do so. + +He went over to his friend Ben, who was just awakening from a doze, +and mentioned the idea of stopping in Chicago. + +The Russian was surprised and said: "Why, Edward, we know no one in +Chicago; what's the use to stop there and, spend time and money!" + +"Yes, I do know some one there," answered Edward, blushing like a +maiden. "I know a lovely girl who would like very much to have me +stop." + +The Russian looked surprised, and asked Edward where he had met that +girl. + +"Right in this car," answered Edward. + +Ben smiled pitifully, and said: "Poor boy, you must not let your +heart run away with your common sense; we cannot stop in Chicago." + +Edward was thoughtful for a minute, and then said: "I will stop +anyway, Ben--I have made up my mind to. + +"Well, if you have, I will also stop; but Edward, look out, it is +dangerous to get acquainted too quick with a girl, especially a +Chicago girl," he added. + +This last remark made Edward angry, and he was tempted to take +offense, but he knew that his friend had no intention but to give him +good advice, and then they were to stop in Chicago--that was what he +wanted. + +When they arrived at the great metropolis of the West, Edward offered +to see Miss King to her home, while the Russian was to wait at the +station until his return. + +When Edward came back, his friend asked him: "Did she cry when you +left her?" + +"Ben, I don't like to hear you speak this way about her. No; I won't +permit any joking about it." + +"All right, Ed, but what do you know about her?" + +"I know that she is a good girl, and that she is not making sport of +me." + +"How do you know it?" + +"She told me so." + +"Oh! la! la! la! She told you so, eh? Don't you know that women can +say anything?" + +"Never mind, Ben, you are not my keeper. This is a personal matter." + +Edward knew that his friend was an enemy of womankind, and therefore +he saw fit to close the discussion as soon as possible. + +They left their baggage in the check-room and went to a cheap hotel +where they had lunch, and afterward the Russian asked Edward about +the program for the afternoon. + +"My program is already made," said Edward. "I shall call on Miss +King." They walked together in the direction of her home, where they +parted, after having agreed to meet later at the hotel. + +When Edward rang the doorbell his heart was beating so hard that he +could bear it, and when the colored servant came to take his card, he +felt as if walking in a dream. The servant led him into a beautiful +boudoir, where he sat waiting for Miss King, ho soon came in. + +"I am so happy you came," she said as she entered. + +Edward murmured something about being very happy himself, as he held +her hand in his. Everything in the room was exceedingly rich and +artistic. In one corner a Venus de Milo seemed to be smiling at him, +while from another corner a Cupid was apparently ready to shoot at +him. It was more luxury than Edward had ever thought of, and the +whole thing was like a dream. + +"Where are her father and mother?" he asked himself, and she seemed +to guess his thoughts, and said: "I am Chez-moi, not Chez-nous; my +family lives in Montreal, and I must tell you I am an actress." + +"An actress!" he repeated, stupefied. + +"Yes, an actress, and my name is not Nellie King; but I will tell you +all about this later." + +"How can you be an actress and live like this?" asked Edward, in his +simplicity, looking around. + +"Oh--I make lots of money--I have been successful," and then she told +him her life. + +Stage-struck, she had left her home three years before, and her +parents knew not where she went. Her voice bad won great success for +her from the beginning, but when the excitement of the first success +had passed, she found herself lonesome, unhappy, craving for some one +to love, some one who would care for her, and not for her success. +She spoke of the men who sent her baskets of flowers and begged to be +her slave; these men she despised, she said, "because they care for +me only on account of my success--let my voice fail and they will +stop sending flowers. It flatters them to be seen with me, because I +am a success; but when I have grown old, and my voice will be gone, +what will they care for me then?" and tears came to her eyes when she +said these last words. + +"Why don't you go back to your home in Canada?" asked Edward, +feelingly. + +"My mother has died since I left, and how I have cried! I have felt +that I was the cause of her death, and I know that my father would +never forgive me." + +"Poor Nellie," Edward said, holding her hand, tempted to kiss it. + +"Oh! Edward, motherless, and without any real true friends, don't you +pity me? The only time I am happy is when I look back to the days of +my childhood; then I smile as one must when dreaming a happy dream in +the quiet of the night." + +During all this time Edward had listened with tears in his eyes. His +sympathetic nature had thrown open the doors of his heart and soul; +he was enraptured, and it was all he could do not to fall at her feet +and tell her of his love. He wanted to live his life with hers; he +felt drawn toward that strange nature, and loved her intensely, as he +sat there holding and pressing her hand. There seemed to be an +established current of a mysterious magnetic fluid that drew his +whole life to her. + +"Have you ever loved any one, Edward?" she asked him, looking him in +the eyes. + +For an instant the name of Marie Louise fluttered in his mind, and +then he said: "I don't believe I have until now." + +She did not appear to take any notice of his last words, but a +satisfied look came over her face. She changed the subject and asked +him if he was going to St. Paul on the morrow. + +"I will have to--my friend will not want to wait any longer." + +"Let him go alone," she suggested. + +"But what will I do here?" + +"What will you do in St. Paul?" + +"Well, I do not know--but we will likely go into some kind of +business, my friend and I, and then I can come back and see you." + +She looked at Edward for an instant, and a queer light came in her +eyes, as she said: "You will not go; you can do just as well here as +in St. Paul. As to your friend, let him go; or, if he will remain +here, I will help him to find something to do." + +Not go! It was a new turn of things, and Edward did not know what to +say. + +"Tell me that you are willing to remain in Chicago, Edward, and I +will arrange the rest with your friend," pleaded Nellie. + +"All right," said Edward, "if only you can induce him to stay, I will +be glad." + +It was decided that they should both walk to the hotel where Ben was +waiting, and talk the matter over. Nellie went into the next room, +and coming back in her street costume, they started at once to meet +the Russian. + +Edward was dubious. He feared that his friend would think him crazy, +and he felt keenly the injustice of compelling him to remain in +Chicago on his account, but love was in his heart, and he would have +done anything rather than displease Nellie; in fact, he was no longer +his own master--she held full sway over his mind. + +When they arrived at the hotel, the Russian was much surprised to see +Edward with a lady, and he was really embarrassed when Edward +presented him to Miss King. Nellie sat in front of the Russian, and +after a few moments of conventional talk the main subject was touched. +At first the Russian could hardly grasp the idea. Why should +they stop in Chicago, when they had taken their tickets for St. Paul? + +"You can sell your tickets at a broker's office, at a small loss," +said Nellie, "and the chances of finding employment are just as good +here as in St. Paul, in fact, better, because I can help you here." + +"You can help us? How?" asked the Russian. + +"If you tell me what you expected to do in St. Paul, I will answer +your question," said Nellie, while Edward followed the debate between +the two without saying a word. + +"Well, so far as I am concerned I am willing to do anything honorable +and earn good wages," said Benjamin. + +"All right; remain here, and I will see that you get an offer of a +position before to-morrow night. Will you stay?" and she looked him +straight in the eyes, until the Russian said "Yes." + +Edward walked back to Nellie's home leaving his friend wondering what +in the world was to happen next. In the evening when Edward came back +he hardly dared to look his friend in the face. He felt guilty in +compelling Ben to stay in Chicago, and felt that if misfortune was to +result, he would be responsible; but to his surprise his friend +seemed perfectly pleased and said that if things did not go well in +Chicago it would always be time to go further West. + +The next day when the two friends were coming out of the dining room, +a letter was handed to them addressed: + +"Benjamin Oresky, Esq., +1620 Twenty-third Street, +City." + +Benjamin tore the envelope open and read: + +"I am in need of a secretary, and I would like a young man who could +do my work and study medicine. If you are willing to accept such a +position, and feel inclined to the study of medicine; call at my +office at eleven o'clock A. M to-day. Yours, +Dr. P. J. McNaughton, +Professor Chemistry. +No. -- -- Street." + +"What is it?" asked Edward when he saw Benjamin turn pale. + +"My God, Edward, just what I have always been wishing for! A chance +to study medicine is offered me. That Miss King must be an angel." + +At the proper time the Russian called on the author of the letter, +and was told what would be expected of him. The doctor was a +professor in a medical college, and he wanted some one to attend to +his correspondence, help prepare his lectures, etc., and would pay +for the course of lectures to be attended by his secretary as well as +pay him a sum of money every month. + +Everything was satisfactory, and all the arrangements were made. +During their talk the doctor stated that his friend, Miss King, had +strongly recommended him, and for that reason he was given the +preference over many other applicants. + +That day, when the two friends met the Russian was happier than +Edward had ever seen him. To study medicine had always been his +greatest ambition, and all at once his wish was to be gratified. + +"We will go to the theater to-night," suggested Edward, who produced +two complimentary admission cards. + +"All right, old boy, I'll go anywhere you say," said Ben, in better +spirits than Edward had ever seen him before. + +At the theater they were led by the usher to a sumptuous box, where +they could enjoy a full view of the whole audience, as well as of the +stage. As they sat watching gorgeously dressed women pass by, +accompanied by men in full dress, they felt somewhat out of place, +and it would not have been necessary to be a close observer to see +that it was their first taste of high life. + +The play was a modern one, in which the tragic and the comic sides of +life are brought out, and from the first, the two friends were +entirely taken up with the action on the stage, forgetful of +everything else. Now they laughed so loud that the people around them +were surprised at them; then during some sad scene, they both wiped +tears from their eyes, to the extreme amusement of many. + +All at once the music from the orchestra became soft and sweet, as if +brought from far away, then, a woman whom Edward recognized at once, +appeared on the stage, and the whole audience seemed to go wild. +Nellie King, the star of the play, and the wonderful singer, was used +to such ovation, and after smiling and gracefully bowing to the +audience, she sang a love-ballad. Her voice, sweet as melody itself, +carried to the audience the loving words of the song, each word pure +and distinct. At times her voice was low and plaintive as if +pleading, emanating sadness to the listeners, then it rose until its +volume filled the whole building; it was violently passionate for an +instant, and then again the words came with so much sadness that they +seemed to come from the shadow of death. It spoke of unsatisfied love +and despair, and the singer's voice was so true and fascinating, that +when the last words had been sung, many in the audience were +surprised to feel tears upon their face. + +Edward was so affected that he could not speak, while the Russian was +saying, "Jerusalem! What a voice!" + +The whole audience seemed mad, and flowers were thrown upon the +stage, hats in the air, and they were calling for Nellie's +reappearance. + +When she came again, her face was pale, and her eyes wandered until +they seemed to rest for an instant upon the box where Edward was +sitting; then as a smile passed over her face, she sang in French one +of Albani's favorite songs. It is the song of an exile. It is full of +pathos, and tells of the longings of the exile for his far-away home. +Once Edward bad heard the same song in Canada, sung by Albani +herself, but he had failed to be fully impressed by these lines: + + "Rendez-moi ma patrie + Ou laissez-moi mourrir. + Rendez-moi mon pays, + Ou laissez-moi mourrir." + +After the play Edward was in such a state of mind that his friend was +actually unable to get a sensible answer from him, and, arrived at +their room, he wanted the Russian to stay up and speak of the woman +whom he now fairly adored; but Ben, while full of enthusiasm and +admiration for the same woman, was doing some hard thinking, and he +could not bring himself to believe that such a talented person could +be so taken up with Edward, to be in real earnest in her actions +toward him. When Edward gave him a chance to speak, he said: "Edward, +my boy, you have that woman on the brain, and I am fearful of the +results. In you she has found a source of diversion, and her actions +now, I am afraid, are the result of a fancy which might pass away at +any moment, and I advise you strongly not to let your enthusiasm run +away with your heart and common sense." + +"What? Do you mean to say that you believe that Nellie is not +sincere?" asked Edward, turning pale. + +"I do not say that; but, Edward, she may be misleading herself. She +is impulsive by nature, and you came in her life at the proper moment +to allow her erratic imagination to create a romance with you as the +hero; but you know that there is something else in life besides +romances and illusions." + +"True," answered Edward; "but this illusion, if illusion it is, is +worth the reality to me, and every hour that it will last is worth a +year of the life I have lived heretofore." + +When they retired later, Edward could not sleep. He was in that +nervous state that increases the activity of the mind too much. As +his excitement about Nellie began to subside, a faint picture of his +first sweetheart came to his mind. First, it was only like a passing +glimpse; but it persisted in coming back, and after a while Edward's +mind was impressed with a vivid image of Marie Louise. Every detail +was perfect. Her large blue eyes, so true and so innocent, were full +of a reproachful expression which brought sorrow to his soul, and +then the sad face would vanish and make place for Nellie's picture, +whose large brown eyes never failed to set his brain on fire. His +sleep was only a continuation of these emotions, and in the morning +he was tired and nervous. + +After breakfast the Russian went to Dr. McNaughton's office, to make +final arrangements about his position, while Edward sat in their +room, trying to fathom the mysteries of the future. Getting tired of +this inactivity, and knowing not what to do until the afternoon, when +he was to call on Nellie, he decided to take a stroll and see +something of the great western metropolis, that immense agglomeration +of all nationalities, where men of all colors can be seen, but where +every one seems to be in a hurry. People in Chicago seem to be always +on the run; they rush along, knocking each other, sometimes they get +jammed, and then they swear, but push their way, and on again they +rush. The millionaire and the gamin who blackens shoes rub elbows. +The fakir who is always on the lookout for a victim, and stock +brokers go through the crowd side by side; the African, the Chinese, +the Jap--in fact, representatives of almost every nation under the +sun are seen in the great flood of humanity. + +Edward drifted aimlessly with the moving mass. No one paid the +slightest attention to him, and he felt lost in that human sea. He +was overcome by a sense of smallness which he had never felt before. +The atmosphere was loaded with a dense fog, and his clothes were soon +saturated with a moisture that made him feel heavy. Once he got +caught in a jam, and when he succeeded in extricating himself, he was +considerably bruised and scared, besides having lost his bearings: in +fact, he had to ask a policeman to direct him which way to go to find +his hotel, where, disgusted, he decided to go, feeling that he could +never find any pleasure in living in Chicago. + +Arriving at the hotel he was handed two notes. One, from his friend +Ben, telling him that he was at work, and would not come to the hotel +for lunch; the other was from Nellie, asking him to come and have +lunch with her. This invitation was to him like a ray of sunshine +through a clouded sky. He went to his room and carefully made his +toilet, his linen being all soiled from his morning's excursion. + +When he met Nellie at her home she was radiant and made him feel at +once that he was most welcome. The minute he looked into her eyes he +felt the same charm overcome his whole system, and all at once life +again was nothing but happiness. + +She spoke of the play and asked him if he had enjoyed the French +song, "Rendez-moi ma patrie," and Edward told her that never in his +life had he enjoyed anything so much. Their lunch was a dainty one, +served by a colored maid, and after drinking a small glass of fine +wine, Edward felt the most happy sensations tingling through his +whole nervous system. All the poetry of which his nature was capable +came to the surface, and he was surprised himself at the way he could +speak to Nellie. He spoke of his dreams when he left home, and she +told him that she would help him to realize them, and he believed +every word she said. The whole afternoon was spent in the most +delightful tête-à-tête, and when darkness came, Edward was surprised +that it was so late. Upon leaving her it was agreed that on the +morrow they were to take up the question of his future life in +Chicago. + +After holding her hand in a caressing way, he bade her good-by, and +the next instant he knew that the charm had left him. He was seized +with a chill, caused by the Michigan Lake breeze, and the delightful +intoxication of a moment ago gave way to the feeling of morose +unhappiness. He felt a great shame come over his soul when he +remembered that he had sworn to Nellie that never in his life had he +loved any one but her; again Marie Louise's image came to him, and he +walked to his hotel, carrying a great load of unhappiness and misery. +At the hotel Benjamin was waiting for him, waiting with a satisfied +smile upon his face, the very picture of contentment. + +"Well, Ed, everything is fixed. My work is not much, and I am given a +free course in medicine. I attended the first lecture to-day, and I +can't tell how glad I am, my boy! How about you?" he asked. + +"Oh! I don't know yet--I may not remain in Chicago, Ben," answered +Edward, trying not to appear too discouraged. + +"Why? Can't she help you to get some employment, Ed?" + +"Will see to-morrow," answered Edward, going to his room, where he +threw himself upon the bed, and felt much like sobbing. His head upon +his hands, he remained in that position for a long while, thinking +over the situation. He did not have the fascinating presence of that +wonderful woman, Nellie, to brace him up, and the future seemed very +dark indeed. Suppose she could not find him a position? What would he +do? His money was nearly all gone. He would not allow her to support +him. His manhood revolted at that thought. + +If she did find him employment, he hated Chicago; he could certainly +not be satisfied in that city. His friend, the Russian, had a +position, but his salary was so small, that he knew he could not +depend on him for much help. He knew now that the happiness he so +keenly enjoyed when in the presence of Nellie was only momentary, and +always gave place to excessive depression afterward. His exalted idea +of honor compelled him to realize that his conduct was dishonorable +toward Marie Louise, to whom he had promised to remain faithful. And +what would his good and religious mother say if she knew that he was +in love with an actress? These thoughts were not conducive to +happiness or peace of mind, and Edward did not know what to do. + +The next morning Ben went to the clerk of the hotel and settled their +bill. Then he told Edward that he had found a good and cheap +boarding-place, where they could both stop for less than one-half +what they were paying at the hotel. This change pleased Edward and +kept him busy part of the forenoon, because he had to see to the +moving of their baggage to the boarding-house, Ben being obliged to +go to his duties. + + +This new place was one of those many cheap boarding-houses patronized +mostly by poor students and clerks, and as it was in a back street, +it was comparatively quiet, a fact that Edward noticed with +satisfaction. It was kept by an old, motherly Irishwoman, who seemed +to take a special liking to Edward from the first, which was greatly +increased when she learned that he was a Catholic. She asked him many +questions, and finally wanted to know what was the nationality of his +roommate. + +"Russian," said Edward. + +"Roosian? Faith, that's a Jew!" + +"No, just a Russian," said Edward again, laughing. + +"What's his name?" she asked. + +"Benjamin Oresky." + +"What's that?--say it again." + +Edward repeated his friend's name, but the good Irish lady could not +grasp it, and she said: "Sure, that's a Jew, your friend is, and look +out for him; he may be an exception, but people that killed Christ +are not good people. It's me that do tell you this, and kape it to +yourself." + +At noon when Ben came, Edward told him of his conversation with their +landlady, and they both bad much fun about it; and all during their +lunch they could not help but smile at the way she looked at Ben. + +After lunch Ben went back to his work, and later Edward was on his +way to Nellie's place. This time he was firmly decided to speak +business and find out if Nellie could help him get a situation at +once. "I can't live on love," he said to himself, as he stood at her +door. + +When Nellie came in the boudoir where Edward was waiting, she noticed +the change in his face. He was pale, and the dark rings around his +eyes told of sleepless nights. She greeted him with more cordiality +than ever, if possible, and Edward felt her charm creep upon him like +the sensation which follows drinking old wine. + +"Poor boy," she said, holding his right hand in hers, "I am afraid +you don't feel well, or that you have been worrying," and she looked +him straight in the eyes. + +A smile of beatitude spread over Edward's face under the influence of +her gaze, and he answered: "To tell the truth, Nellie, I have been a +little anxious about my future, but I guess it will be all right." + +"Of course it will be all right," she said, and inviting him to be +seated, she asked him if he would not like to become an actor. + +"An actor?" he repeated, "I be an actor? I never thought of it, and +then, how could I become an actor in the States when I can hardly +speak English correctly?" + +"That part of it is all right, Ed. I have a friend, who is now +writing a new play, and there will be a Frenchman in it, and you +would be just the man to take that role." + +"Well, but I have never done any acting; in fact, I know absolutely +nothing about it," he said. + +"There is a beginning to everything. Your voice is good. You are tall +and handsome,'' she added smilingly. + +"Oh, bosh! Nellie, you are making fun of me. I know I was not born +to be an actor, and never will be one." + +"Won't you try for my sake?" she asked him pleadingly. + +"For your sake, Nellie, I would do anything, but please don't ask me +to make a fool of myself." + +"No, no, nothing of the kind, Edward. You can take lessons in +elocution, and later try the role I spoke about." + +"Take lessons in elocution? Dear, it takes money and time to do these +things, and while I have the time I lack the other. + +"I will loan you the money, Edward, and later, when you make lots of +it, you will pay it back to me. Can I tell my friend, the author, +that I have his man for the role of the Frenchman?" + +"I don't know, Nellie; I must have time to think it over," answered +Edward, who was too surprised to grasp the full meaning of this +proposition. + +"All right, you will let me know to-morrow, won't you, Ed? and please +take my advice and accept this chance to become an actor. I feel that +you would succeed on the stage--truly, I do, Ed." + +After talking over this new scheme, Edward left Nellie, and went to +his boardinghouse, where he wanted to consult with his friend Ben. + +The Russian saw no reason why Edward should not follow Nellie's +advice, and he strongly encouraged him to do so; but to Edward, there +were many points to consider. What would his parents say? What would +Marie Louise think of him, if she learned that he wanted to become an +actor? Had she not in her last letters begged of him to be good and +true to his promises? He had not answered that part in which she also +complained of the chilliness of his late letters. Another point that +he felt keenly, was the eventual necessity to accept pecuniary help +from Nellie; of course, he reasoned that it was to be paid back, but +his sensitive nature made him realize that even then it would leave +him under moral obligations to her, and his spirit of independence +revolted strongly. But what was he to do? + +"Try it on condition that if you don't like it, you'll go into +something else," suggested the Russian, and Edward made up his mind +to do so. + +The next day, Nellie was delighted to learn from Ed ward that he had +decided to follow her advice. She immediately gave him two hundred +dollars, which he accepted after much hesitation. He wanted to give +her his note, but she would not have it. They went to the writer of +the new play, and Edward was introduced to him as the gentleman who +was to fill the role of the Frenchman. The author seemed pleased with +Edward's appearance, and predicted success for him. + +The next thing was to find a professor of elocution. Nellie knew +where to find one, so they went to him, and it was agreed that Edward +was to take three lessons a week; and he felt much encouraged +himself. + +That night Edward wrote home that he had found employment, but failed +to give any details, and it was with much difficulty that he +succeeded in writing a few pages to Marie Louise and these were +certainly disconnected, and lacked considerable of the old lover's +style which he used in other days. In a postscript he pleaded +nervousness as an excuse for the nature of the letter, and hoped that +she would not mistrust him. + +During the following day, he settled down to work with all his +energy, with the result that he had very little time to worry. The +more he studied the play in which he was to take part, and of which +he had been given a copy, the more he liked it. + +He called upon the author, with whom he at once became on friendly +terms, and met many actors there, who seemed to be very nice people; +gradually Edward became more and more one of them. Every day he spent +some time with Nellie, who was most pleased with his success, and +once more the world seemed to be right. + +The company of which Nellie was the star was billed to in New York +City about a week later, and when Nellie told him that she would be +absent for four weeks, they felt that they would much miss each +other, but agreed to write every day, and then four weeks would soon +pass. + +While Nellie was gone, Edward was induced to join an actor's club, +and was given an opportunity to study the life of that class of +society. + +Edward spent much of his leisure time in the club rooms, where he +could read many journals published in the interest of stage people. +The membership of this club was composed of actors out of employment +or playing in the city. Edward became acquainted with a great many of +them and was surprised at the number of bright young men who were +wasting their time, apparently waiting for a mere chances of some +engagement. + +Some of them were young in years, beardless yet, but they looked old, +and were "old-youngs," showing upon their faces the ravages of fast +life. The walls of the club rooms were covered with lithographs of +modern actors, among which Edward noticed Nellie's. Among the members +of the club he felt a special liking for an old man, who; in turn, +seemed to take much interest in him. This old actor, past sixty, had +been at one time a very famous man; in fact, had enjoyed a national +reputation-but unfortunate speculations and old age had reduced him +to poverty, and he was living on a pension paid him by some +benevolent actors' society. + +He offered to help Edward in his work, and was so kind to him that +Edward made a confidant of him. When the old man heard Edward's +story, tears came to his eyes and he said: "Poor boy--my life was +started like yours--and I pray you to abandon the idea of going on +the stage. The life of an actor is the most miserable any one can +live--of course, there are exceptions; men who are born actors, and +find success at each step--but they are not many, and even among them +you will often find unfortunate beings whose life is a drudgery. You +are young, you left good parents who expect much of you; you have a +sweetheart in your little native village, whose love is of the truest +kind. Hers is not the result of a passing fancy and you don't want to +break her heart, do you?" + +"No," said Edward, greatly affected by the old man's talk. + +"And," continued the old actor, "suppose you should meet with some +success on the stage. That does not mean that you will make money, +no, the salary that you will command for the next ten years, granting +that you will be successful, will not be more than enough to pay your +expenses; and remember, my boy, once an actor, you will never be good +for anything else; unless you are an exceptional man. Of course, you +are starting under good auspices. Miss King is a great singer, and +somewhat of an actress, but she does not know how soon her voice will +fail her. She is of an erratic nature and possesses a golden heart, +but she is a mere slave to her emotions, and the proof is the way she +became interested in you, my boy. I do not want to be harsh on +her--no--she has befriended me more than once; but, Edward, she has a +right to cause her own misfortune, not yours. It was through an +accident of this kind that the doors of the stage were opened to me. +I was young then, young as you are. I loved a woman, and she said she +loved me. I left everything to follow her on the stage, and the only +sunshine of my life was during the first few years of our married +life. But what is a couple of years of happiness when a whole life of +misfortune is to follow? I will not tell you what happened," said the +old man, feelingly, "but she tired of me. Her emotional soul made her +heart beat for another, and we parted! She died a miserable +death--craving my pardon, which I gave her, because she was not to blame. +It was her nature, and her vocation was conducive to such things: I have +never told this story to another, and to-night, when I tell you, it +is because I want to save you-for your sake, for your parents' +sake--for your sweetheart's sake!" + +Edward was stunned. He could not speak; he simply stared at the +speaker, who wiped his eyes. + +After a moment of silence he said, "My God, what will I do?" + +"Young man, what would you have done had you not met that woman?" + +"I would have gone West," he answered. + +"Well--go West now. Go, before she comes back and has you under her +influence. Go, and you will feel all the better in time." + +"But it would be dishonorable to go in this way, with her money," +said Edward. + +"Ah! would it not be much more dishonorable to use her money to bring +unhappiness to her and to yourself? And you can repay that money +later--in fact, you will repay her much sooner if you go away than if +you stay and go on the stage." + +In his heart Edward felt that his adviser was right, and he thought +he could bear the voice of Marie Louise saying, "He is right." + +"I'll follow your advice," said Edward, shaking the old man's hand +tenderly. + +"God bless you, my boy! I feel that I have done a good act in my late +days of life, and I know that you will thank the day you met me when +later you think of this. Where will you go?" + +"I don't know," answered Edward; trying to smile. + +"I have a friend out in Montana who owns a big ranch. He is an old +classmate of mine and I often go and spend the summer months with +him. I will write a letter which you will take to him. He will give +you something to do; it may not be very fine work, but I will +guarantee that it will be healthy and conducive to happiness. Do you +like horses?" + +"Do I?" spoke up Edward, brightening considerably; "I should say I +do." + +"Good! Meet me here to-night at eight o'clock," and the old man +walked out. + +Edward lingered at the club for a short time, then went to his +boarding-house, where he found his friend Ben waiting for him. + +"Ben, I am going to leave the city," he said, after sitting down. + +"Going to New York, I suppose," answered the Russian, smiling, and +thinking that Edward had decided to follow Nellie. + +"No, sir, I am going West. I have decided to quit the idea of going +on the stage." + +"What! Going West? What's the matter; Ed, are you crazy?" + +"No, I don't think I am crazy, but I may have been," and then he +explained the whole thing to his astonished friend, who finally +agreed with him, but was sorry to part with Edward, and told him so. + +"Never mind, old boy, we will meet again, when we have settled in +life," said Edward, beginning to arrange his trunk for his early +departure. + +After supper he and the Russian walked to the Actors' Club, where the +old man was waiting, with a letter addressed to + +Mr. Frank Goodnow, +Grass Village, +Montana. + +The three sat and talked until late. The Russian took a great fancy +to the old actor, who in turn was favorably impressed by Ben. This +meeting was the beginning of their friendship, and they visited each +other, finding much pleasure in their relations. + +It was decided that Edward would leave the next morning, and the old +actor agreed to be at the station to bid him good-by. + +When they returned to their room, Ben went to bed, but Edward sat +down writing letters until late in the night. Among these letters, +one was difficult to write satisfactorily, and he wrote many before +he was satisfied with the one he was to send to Nellie. He bad +decided not to let her know his whereabouts; this, at the suggestion +of his friend, the old actor. The letter he decided to mail to +Nellie, read as follows: + +"DEAR AND KIND FRIEND NELLIE: After much thinking, I have come to the +conclusion that I was not born to be an actor, and furthermore, that +it would not be right for you and me to carry on our little romance. +Life is not a dream, and while I have greatly enjoyed our little trip +in dreamland, I foresee the day when we would both have to face life +in its reality, and I feel that bright as life has been with you thus +far, the day is not far distant when we both would see the clouds of +unhappiness accumulate over our heads--and I know it is better to +part in sunshine than in the shadow of unhappiness. I cannot find +words to express how grateful I feel toward you for your extreme +kindness to me. I leave it to your kind heart to imagine the +greatness of my gratitude, and the immensity of the sacrifice I now +make. The moments spent in your presence were the happiest of my +life, and my soul never knew how much a human being could enjoy the +happy dreams of life until I came under your influence. I will always +remember you as the brightest star in the firmament of my life, and I +will pray that you may never know the bitterness of misfortune. With +a last loving kiss, good-by, and forgive me! My friend, Ben Oresky, +will some day pay you back the loans you made me. +"Yours, with best wishes for your future happiness, EDWARD." + +He could not help but shed tears as he sealed this letter, but at the +same time he felt satisfied. He felt like a man after accomplishing a +hard duty; but it was done and he was almost proud of the fact. + +The next morning, at the station where Ben accompanied him, they met +the old actor who, true to his word, was there to bid him good-by. + +Once more Edward was carried to an unknown country, but this time he +felt easy. He was strong with the feeling of having sacrificed much +for the sake of his duty, and already there seemed to be much more +room in his heart for Marie Louise, of whom he could not think +without blushing. After a day and a half of fast traveling he arrived +at Grass Village where he was met by Mr. Goodnow, to whom he had +written. This gentleman was a real western type, and Edward was +pleased with the cordial manner in which he was received. After +being taken to the house, Edward gave Mr. Goodnow his letter of +recommendation from his old friend, and went upstairs to a room to +wash himself. When he came down, he met the whole family, and felt at +home from the first. + +While Edward was getting acquainted with his new duties, his letter +to Nellie had reached her, and as she read it, she felt hot tears +come to her eyes, and for an instant her heart felt as if pierced by +an arrow. She had never realized until then how much she really loved +that young man. As she eat holding his letter in her hands, she saw +her dream of anticipated happiness crumbled to pieces, and such a +despair as had never before entered her soul came to her. "My God! My +God!" she said, and then closed her eyes. + +The heart of a woman is a strange thing, and Nellie's heart was one +of the strangest. Having never before known what love was, she had +all at once felt her whole being infected by a mighty passion, a +passion such as no human being can feel twice, and now the object of +her love had vanished. He was gone without even saying where. Her +sorrow was almost as great as her love, and from this time Nellie +King was a different woman. She broke her engagement in New York and +came back to Chicago, where she tried in vain to learn where Edward +had gone. The Russian had promised Edward not to reveal where he was, +and he was true to his promise, hard as it was to refuse Nellie, to +whom he owed his situation. + +For twelve months Edward had lived on Mr. Goodnow's ranch, and his +reputation as the best and most fearless rider on the ranch, as well +as the most graceful, was a recognized fact, and that was enough to +make him popular. His little mare, a perfect type of that class of +horses, called "bronchos;" was the prettiest and swiftest on the +ranch, and he had named her "Nellie," and indeed, any woman would +have been proud to give her name to such a beauty. There were twelve +cowboys on Goodnow's ranch, and every week, one of them had a day +off, which was spent at his own discretion. + +Cowboys as a class are a queer lot of men. They are fearless and +brave to excess, and being isolated from society so much, they are +often eccentric; but their eccentricity has its charms. + +The fraternal feeling which exists among these men is of the genuine +kind, and they are exceedingly generous in helping each other in case +of misfortune. They practice all sorts of manly sports, and the feats +they can accomplish on horseback are wonderful. It is an easy matter +for some of them to lean on one side of their saddle while going at a +great rate of speed, and pick up a small object on the ground. They +are skillful shots in many ways, and one way that never fails to +impress the "tenderfoot," is the shooting of a clay pipe at a +distance of twenty-five feet, while held in the mouth of one of them, +who apparently does not see much excitement in the act. It is great +fun for them to "break in" a "tenderfoot," by which name they call +any aspirant to the vocation of cowboy. + +The meanest bucking bronco is brought to him to ride and behold! if +the poor candidate cannot hold on to the saddle while the kicking +brute is playing circus, the cowboys add to the excitement by their +yells, often throwing small stones at the bucking cayuse. + +Edward went through all their initiatory proceedings, and came out +with the respect of the lookers-on; his popularity counted from that +time. + +Since his departure from Chicago, Edward had received many letters +from his Russian friend, but very little had been said about Nellie. +He was now a different man, not only in his general appearance, which +was much improved by the open air life, but also morally. He had sent +two hundred dollars to Ben, who paid it over to Nellie, and while he +still felt more than a kindly feeling toward her, it was nothing like +the old passion. On their "day off" cowboys usually go to some +saloon, where they drink and play cards, and generally have as +exciting a time as they can to make up for the monotony of their life +in the field; but Edward preferred spending these days at the home of +his employer, whose daughter Grace showed much partiality for the +French lad, or French Ed, as he was now called by every one on the +ranch. + +Mr. Goodnow's only daughter Grace was a splendid young lady of +eighteen, and quite a musician. She was very small and her face was +too baby-like to be called real pretty, but her large blue eyes were +soft and full of melancholy. She was a very interesting talker, and +her horsemanship could not be excelled. She never failed to cause a +smile of satisfaction on her father's face whenever she mounted +Topsy, her spirited little thoroughbred black mare. + +Grace always looked ahead to the time when French Ed was to come into +town, because she took much pleasure in his company. It was great fun +for her to ride his mare Nell, while he rode Topsy. Together, they +would take long rides, sometimes taking their lunch with them, and +stopping by some little running brook, where in the shade of some +tree they would eat and enjoy life. + +Grace was very much interested in everything that pertained to +Edward's life. She too questioned him about his past, his schooldays, +his folks, and one day she gave him one of her pictures to send to +his sister. She never seemed to tire of hearing him talk, and he +always found much pleasure in talking to her. + +She admired him with that admiration that often leads to love, while +he liked her with that feeling that is more than friendship and still +cannot be called love. At times, Edward thought that he would like to +take her little baby face in his hands and kiss her on the lips; but +he knew what the result would be, and he contented himself in +imagining how good it would be. Once, while Edward was singing a new +song with Grace at the piano, he bent to see the notes, until his +face rubbed against hers, and then he felt a strange dizziness come +to his brain, and was raising his arms to put them around her neck, +when she suddenly stood up and looked him straight in the eyes, and +said, "Ed--" + +Had she slapped him with her little hand he would not have felt +nearly so bad as he did facing those large blue eyes, so reproachful +and sad. + +"Play 'El Diavolo,'" he asked her trying to hide his embarrassment, +and she did. + +Early the next morning Edward was on his way to his work. He had a +distance of about twelve miles to ride, and the morning was so +perfect that life seemed a blessing on such a day. It was one of +those mornings that fill the soul with exhilaration, and makes you +think of the greatness of the Creator of this wonderful world. The +little wild flowers along the road were covered with dewdrops, which +glistened under the first sun rays like millions of diamonds. The air +was full of that sweet fragrance found nowhere but on the vast +Western prairies, and Edward was thinking how good life was. He was +nearing the place where thousands of steers were grazing, and was +humming the air of a French song, when all at once he heard a +rumbling noise. It was distant and much like the noise one hears when +approaching the sea. Edward placed his hand to his ear and stopped +the mare, in order to make out what was the meaning of that noise. +Raising himself on his stirrups, he looked in the direction where the +rumbling sound came from and saw a dark spot which kept growing as +the noise increased, until a moment later the ground was actually +trembling, while a big cloud of dust indicated the coming herd of +crazed steers. It was a stampede--and while Edward had never seen one +before, he knew its dangers. His little mare was now rearing and +snorting with great evidence of fright, and Edward hardly knew what +to do. He knew that to try and stop the maddened steers was an utter +impossibility, but felt that it was his duty to try and do something +to prevent the terrible disaster which is always sure to follow a +stampede, when thousands of valuable animals fall of exhaustion and +are trampled to death by the others, or, as sometimes happens, they +dash themselves to death from some high precipice, where the first +ones to reach are pushed over by the oncoming, until thousands have +been sent to destruction. Edward knew this and he also knew that the +stampede was now heading toward a dangerous marsh where thousands +would perish, unless something was done to prevent them from going in +the direction they were then taking. It is a fact that the best way +to stop a stampede is to get the animals circling round, and this is +often done by the cowboys, who ride with the leaders of the stampede, +and lash them on the head until they gradually keep turning; but it +is one of the most dangerous actions that a cowboy can be called to +do. A stumble of the horse and both rider and horse are sure to be +trampled upon by the frenzied herd, and of course, that means +destruction. + +Edward could soon distinguish some of the other cowboys, riding +furiously by the side of the running herd, but apparently unable to +reach the leaders, and in a moment he made up his mind to do it +himself, and immediately starting his mare at a rather slow canter, +he let the stampede come nearer and nearer until he could hear their +hard breathing; then, taking his long lasso in his right band, he +half turned himself on his saddle, and while at a very rapid gait, he +kept striking the furious beasts in the face, until they began to +alter their course, and turn to the right, which was exactly what he +wanted. By this time the other cowboys had joined him, and the great +moving mass was now beginning to circle around; but just then +Edward's mare missed her footing and fell forward, turning a complete +somersault and breaking Edward's right arm above the elbow. It was +almost miraculous that he never let go of the reins, which he held +with his left hand, but was again on the saddle as soon as his mare +was on her feet, his right arm banging limp by his side, and causing +the most excruciating pain as it moved with every motion of the mare. +His face was also badly bruised, blood flowed freely from his mouth +and nose, and when some of the cowboys came to his rescue he was +riding on his saddle like a drunken man. They made a sling with a +piece of lasso, and after bathing his face in the water of a near-by +spring, they decided that two of them would go back to the village +with Edward, while the rest would remain and watch the still excited +herd. They started very slowly, knowing that the motion caused by +cantering or galloping would make Edward's arm pain him much more; +but Edward, after inquiring if his mare was badly hurt, and being +told that except for some blood running from her nose, she seemed to +be all right, they were surprised to hear him say: "Boys, let's go a +little faster or we will never reach home." + +The ends of the fractured bone could be heard grinding against each +other at the galloping motion; but had it not been for the cold sweat +that covered his pale face, no one would have known that Edward was +suffering intense pain, except for the gritting of his teeth now and +then. + +At last they reached Mr. Goodnow's, and when Edward was helped into +the house, he was so exhausted that he could not speak. The two other +cowboys told Mr. Goodnow of the occurrence and of the heroic action +by which Edward had saved many thousands of dollars. + +"To hell with the steers!" said the rancher. "I would rather have +lost the whole damned lot of critters than see this boy crippled and +suffering like this." + +When the doctor came, he said that Edward had sustained a compound +fracture of the humerus and that it would take many weeks, in fact, +two or three months before he would be able to use the arm. He also +suggested giving chloroform, to reduce the fracture and set the arm, +but Edward smiled faintly and said, "I guess I can stand a little +more, doctor; go on with the job." After the arm was set, the doctor +mentioned that it might be better if his patient was taken to the +hospital, where he could see him every day. + +"No, sir--we'll take care of him here, Doc; and don't spare the +expense. Come every day, and I'll stand the bill myself," said +Goodnow, and Edward noticed an expression of satisfaction upon +Grace's face. + +She washed his face carefully, and tenderly, and from this time she +was his nurse, and a more faithful nurse never lived. + +When the doctor came the next day, he found that Ed ward had not +slept all night, and that while his arm was not very painful, his +head was a source of great suffering. After taking his temperature, +the doctor anxiously examined his head and ordered ice-packs to be +continually kept on it, and taking Mr. Goodnow aside, the doctor +informed him that Edward was suffering from cerebral fever, and that +he would likely become delirious very soon. + +Late in the afternoon, while Grace was placing fresh ice upon his +head, he suddenly raised himself in bed, and grasping her hand he +began to talk excitedly; but as he spoke in French, she could not +understand him. Still, from the strange look in his eyes, she knew +that Ed ward was delirious, and she called her father in. + +"Lie down, Ed, lie down, like a good fellow," said Mr. Goodnow. + +Edward stared at him an instant, and then fell heavily back in bed, +still speaking French. After a while, he sat up again, and this time +excitedly began to talk in English, asking, "Where is Nellie?" + +"She is in the stable; lie down, Ed, lie down, my boy; Nellie is all +right," said Mr. Goodnow, carefully pushing him back. + +"I want to talk to her--bring her in here-I want her to sing for +me--please bring her in here!" + +"Poor fellow, he is completely out of his head--he wants to hear his +mare sing," said Goodnow, who could not help but smile at the idea of +Edward's mare singing. + +Then Grace came in, and when Edward saw her, he seemed pleased, and +trying to raise himself, he said: "Please, Nellie, sing me that old +song--I mean that French song, you know?" + +Grace looked at him, and tears came to her eyes when she noticed that +tender and pleading expression on his face, and she hurried out of +the room. + +"She is mad at me, or she would not refuse to sing for me--oh, just +once--let me hear 'Rendez moi ma patrie'." + +From this time Edward was delirious and failed to know any one around +him, and the doctor's prognosis was not very encouraging as to his +ultimate mental recovery. + +A great part of the time the poor fellow spoke French. It was much as +if the cruel winds of adversity had blown back the pages of his life +already lived, and he was apparently living them over again. + +He spoke of his mother, Marie Louise, Benjamin, Nellie, but seldom +mentioned the name of Grace. During many weeks he remained delirious. +His arm had got well enough to permit him to move it without pain, +but the light of intelligence seemed to have left him forever. His +face was emaciated, and his eyes had lost their old-time brightness. +A strange phenomenon was gradually changing the color of his hair +from brown to white, especially on one side, where he had struck the +ground when his mare stumbled, and his appearance was that of a man +at least ten years older than he was. During all this time many +letters bad been received at his address, but when handed to him, he +never displayed the least interest, or tried to read them. + +One day, Mr. Goodnow came back to the house with his friend, the old +actor, who had taken so much interest in Edward, and it was really +pitiful to witness the sorrowful expression on the actor's face as he +held the hand of Edward, who failed to show any sign of recognition. +When later, his old friend Ben came, it was the same thing, and the +Russian cried like a child; but Edward showed no sign of any emotion, +and his case was considered entirely hopeless. + +He got well enough to roam around, but he never was allowed to go +alone, and Grace was his most constant companion. She led him to the +most beautiful places on the ranch, and once, while sitting in the +shade near a flowing brook, where she read to him, she felt sure that +he had given sign of returning intelligence when he had said, with a +pleased smile, "Beautiful," but alas, it was only a flash, and his +condition remained the same. + +A few days later, during the quiet of the night, the horrible word +"fire" was heard in the Goodnow's house, and the next instant the +flames were coming through some of the windows. It seemed evident +that everybody in the house was doomed to destruction, and when a +great crash was heard, Goodnow leaped from a second-story window, +where he expected his wife to follow; but the poor woman, thinking of +the danger of her daughter, walked to the other part of the house, +reaching the girl's room in time to see her escaping through the +window. Then, already suffocating, she only had strength to reach the +same window, but not enough to raise herself and leap over it, and +the next instant the flames had enveloped her and she died a victim +of her motherly love. + +Grace, crazed by her anxiety for her parents, was running around and +calling her mother and father, and when she found her father alone +she knew that her mother was dead, because the part of the house +where she slept was already nothing but a burning mass. + +Until then, no one had thought of Edward, as it seemed useless to +think of saving anybody who might still be in the burning house, and +when Grace cried out: "Edward! Edward! where is he?" As his room was +on the ground floor she went near his window, and smashing it, called +him by name, and God knows it was not too soon, as the fire, which +had apparently neglected that part of the house, seemed to come to it +with renewed energy, and a moment later the whole house was wrapped +by the cruel flames. When some of the neighbors, attracted by the +glare, came to offer assistance they saw the most pitiful spectacle +possible. + +Grace was crying and running around calling for her mother, while +Goodnow stood by, sobbing like a child. At a little distance from the +house, sitting near a large tree, was Edward, looking strangely at +the burning house, as if fascinated by the sight; and now and then +clapping his hands, he would say, "Good play, is it not, Ben? But why +don't she come back and sing again?" + +A most horrible crash was heard, and Goodnow's home was no more. It +was now nothing but a burning pile of cinders and it was with great +difficulty that friends could induce Goodnow and his daughter to come +away from the terrible scene, while Edward himself seemed to want to +linger. At last they all went to the nearest neighbor, two miles from +Goodnow's place. Later, they tried to find something of the remains +of Mrs. Goodnow, but so well bad the fire done its work, that not a +trace of the unfortunate woman could be found, nor anything of the +old actor, who had failed to save himself from the fire. + +Goodnow, with the energy which is characteristic of the western +ranchman, decided to rebuild at once, and while doing it, he sent his +daughter to Flatville, the nearest city, where one of his brothers +was living, and Edward to St. Mary's Hospital in the same city. + +Edward did not appear to realize that he was in a new place, and +remained the same careless and helpless being, with the difference +that he stayed in bed a great part of his time, while at Goodnow's +home Grace used to make him take long strolls on the ranch. She was +still his faithful friend, and every day she brought him flowers, and +now and then she read to him as she used to. + +After he had been in the hospital two or three weeks, a new sister +came, and took charge of Edward, among her other patients. Her name +was Sister Mary, and a sweeter face had never worn a hood. From the +first time she came in Edward's room her voice seemed to have a +peculiar effect upon him, and while she was near him his eyes always +followed her, which fact was rather strange considering that he had, +ever since his illness, paid no attention to any one. The doctor +noticed this fact and jokingly told Sister Mary that she had come in +time to save his patient. + +One day, Sister Mary was surprised to hear her patient ask her to +sing, and as she looked at him, he said: "Please, Nellie, sing that +old song, won't you?" + +Sister Mary turned pale and would have fallen to the floor, had the +doctor not happened to be coming in. + +"Please, Nellie--sing, only once, won't you?" Edward was imploringly +repeating. + +"Still wanting his old mare Nellie to sing for him," said the doctor, +before he noticed Sister Mary; then seeing her reeling and ready to +fall, he said: + +"What's the matter, sister? Are you sick?" and held her up. + +"Please help me out of this room, doctor," was all she said, and to +the doctor's questions later, she answered that her name used to be +Nellie, and that she used to sing, and she added. "I used to know +him." + +The doctor saw at once that there was a romance somewhere, and in his +anxiety to experiment, he begged sister Mary to come back to the room +of his patient and sing for him. + +"It may be the key that will open his brain to let in the rays of +intelligence," he pleaded, and at last Sister Mary consented to go +back and sing. + +"Edward, Nellie will sing for you," said the doctor to his patient, +watching carefully the expression of his face. + +"Good!" said Edward, clapping his poor bony hands together, and +showing evidence of great satisfaction upon his face. + +At the foot of the bed, facing the invalid, stood Sister Mary. Her +face was pale and her lips were trembling, but by a supreme effort +she sang: + + "Rendez-moi ma patrie, + Ou laissez-moi mourrir, + Rendez moi mon pays + Ou laissez-moi mourrir." + +At the first sound of the sweet voice, Edward sat up in bed, and +watching eagerly the face of the singer, his eyes filled with tears. +When the voice ceased he fell back saying, "My God! Nellie!" + +"I have killed him," said Sister Mary. + +"No, you have saved him!" answered the doctor, bending over his +patient, whose face was covered with cold sweat, and every nerve +twitching. + +"Sing again," commanded the doctor, and once more the sweet and +tender voice of Sister Mary was heard, and Edward opened his eyes. +When the song was over, he looked strangely at the doctor, and said, +"Where am I? Where is Nellie?" + +"You are all right," said the doctor; and Sister Mary walked out of +the room, going to the little chapel of the hospital, where she +prayed the most fervent prayer of her life. "My God. Give me the +strength to keep away from him," she prayed, and her prayer must have +been heard, because Edward never saw Sister Mary again. + +From this time Edward's recovery was gradual and uninterrupted. + +From the time he first lost his reason he remembered nothing. A month +later he was in Chicago visiting his friend, the Russian, and from +there he went to his home in Canada, where no one ever expected to +see him again, except Marie Louise, his first love, who said that she +always felt that he would come back. + +"Tell me of your life," she asked him. + +"It would do you no good," he said, and never told her; but he often +asked her to sing, "Rendez-moi ma patrie." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Wanderings of French Ed, by Joseph René + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 43292 *** |