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diff --git a/43234-8.txt b/43234-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 0d7ffae..0000000 --- a/43234-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,6493 +0,0 @@ - BRIGHT IDEAS - - - - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost -no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it -under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this -eBook or online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license. - - - -Title: Bright Ideas - A Record of Invention and Misinvention -Author: Herbert Strang -Release Date: July 16, 2013 [EBook #43234] -Language: English -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRIGHT IDEAS *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines. - - -[Illustration: "'TIS YOUR DOING," SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT -FROM HIS CLOTHES. (_See page_ 28)] - - - - - BRIGHT IDEAS - - A RECORD OF INVENTION - AND MISINVENTION - - - BY - - HERBERT STRANG - - - - ILLUSTRATED BY C. E. BROCK - - - - HUMPHREY MILFORD - OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS - LONDON, EDINBURGH, GLASGOW - TORONTO, MELBOURNE, CAPE TOWN, BOMBAY - 1920 - - - - - *CONTENTS* - -THE SMOKE MACHINE -TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED -A GAS ATTACK -THE CLIPPER OF THE ROAD -THE COLD WATER CURE -A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY - - - - - *LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS* - - _FRONTISPIECE IN COLOUR_ - -"''TIS YOUR DOING,' SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS -CLOTHES" (see p. 38). _Frontispiece_ - -"THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND AND NOAKES WAS HALF OBLITERATED" - -"ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE" - -"TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY THE COLLAR, AND HAULED HIM UP" - -"'I'VE COTCHED 'EE,' HE CRIED" - -"'HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,' SAID EVES, BRANDISHING THE POKER" - -"THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED AT FULL LENGTH" - -"'YES,' CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO THE ROAD. 'IF I WERE YOU, -YOUNG FELLER, I'D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE HORSE-POND'" - -"THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP CONTACT, FIRST WITH NOAKES'S -HEAD, THEN WITH THE WIND-SCREEN" - -"DAZE ME!' SAID THE CONSTABLE. 'SURELY--AY, 'TIS THE MAYOR'" - -"THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON'S EXPERIMENTAL TANK POURED DOWN" - -"THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE" - -"COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD" - - - - - *THE SMOKE MACHINE* - - - - I - - -Bob Templeton tucked a leg under him on the parapet of the bridge on -which he was sitting, and with a look of gloomy disgust spread a number -of coins, the contents of his trouser pocket, on the weather-beaten -stone. - -"Eleven and ninepence," he said, dolefully. "That's all." - -Tom Eves, who had been leaning his elbows on the bridge, and watching -the roach darting among the weeds in the clear running stream below, -straightened himself, smiled, and, diving a hand into his pocket, gave a -comical glance at the coins it returned with, and said: - -"Well, you beat me. I've got seven and fivepence halfpenny, and no -chance of more for nearly a couple of months. We're sturdy beggars: -under a pound between us." - -"You can't do much with a pound." - -"True, old sport, and still less with nineteen and twopence halfpenny. -Might as well not count the halfpenny." - -"And there was so much I wanted to do. There's the levitator, and the -smoke machine, and the perpetual pump----" - -"And the microphone, and the lachrymator, and the super-stink----" - -"And the electric cropper, and the tar entanglement, and--but what's the -good of talking? They all mean cash." - -"Well, haven't I read, in the days of my youth, in the excellent Samuel -Smiles, that most inventors have been poor men?" - -"That's all very well; but they started with more than nineteen and -twopence half-penny--and war prices, too! It's maddening to think what -chances we are missing. This is just the sort of place where you can -think out things quietly. No masters to pounce on your inventions -before they are half finished. That automatic hair-cutter, now; there -was a ripping idea simply squashed flat. A few touches would have made -it perfect. If that blatant ass, young Barker, hadn't shouted before he -was hurt----" - -"Barked before he was bitten." - -"Eh? Oh, that's a pun. I wish you'd be serious. If he hadn't shouted -and brought old Sandy on the scene the thing might have been finished by -now, and on the market." - -"And what would the Hun say when he came back after the war and found -your patent cutter in every one's pocket? His job would be gone. -Really, I've a sneaking sympathy with the gentle Hun." - -"I haven't--not a ha'porth. Anyway, now we've got to begin all over -again, simply because young Barker hadn't the pluck of a--of a----" - -He paused for want of a word. - -"Of a cucumber?" suggested Eves, promptly filling the gap. - -"Yes--of a cucumber," snapped Templeton, who, for all his lack of -humour, was quick to suspect levity in his chum. - -"By gum, he did look a sight!" added Eves, grinning in gleeful -reminiscence. "Half his crumpet bald as a billiard ball; t'other half -moth-eaten." - -"Serve him right. If he'd waited until we'd readjusted the clippers, -and shut his face instead of raising Cain and bringing old Sandy rushing -in at a mile a minute, I'd have made a thorough good job of him. He was -a beautiful subject, too; hadn't seen a barber for six weeks." - -"And enough grease on his mane to make the thing self-lubricating. -There's an idea for you, old man." - -"Yes; I hadn't thought of that. But what's the good? Here we're in a -quiet village, with the run of old Trenchard's disused barn; all the -conditions favourable, but no funds! Upon my word----" - -"Hullo, Postie," cried Eves at this point. "Anything for us?" - -The village postman, a veteran of sixty years, had appeared round the -corner of the lane that abutted on the bridge, his boots white with the -dust gathered since he had started his morning tramp of ten miles a -couple of hours before. - -"Marnen, young genelmen," said the postman. "Fine marnen, to be sure. -Ay, I've got one little small thing in the way of a registered letter." - -"Then I've no further interest in you, my friend," said Eves. -"Registered letters are not in my scheme of life." - -"Good now; that saves me the trouble of asking ye which is Mr. Robert -Templeton. No, no," he added, as Templeton held out his hand. "Ye'll -sign the bit o' paper first. Just there, with my pencil, an 'ee please; -'twon't rub out, and I've got to think of my fame in the land; forty -year in the service and no complaints, I don't care who the man is." - -Templeton signed the green-tinted receipt slip; the postman handed over -the letter, bade them good morning, and shambled away. - -"From my aunt," remarked Templeton as he cut open the envelope. - -"My prophetic soul!" exclaimed Eves. "How much, Bob?" - -Templeton flourished a ten-pound note, but made no reply until he had -read through the accompanying letter, which he then handed to Eves with -the remark, "She's a good old sort." - -"Wasn't it Solomon said, 'Go to the aunts'?" said Eves. A broad smile -spread over his face as he read the letter, which ran as follows: - - -"MY DEAR NEPHEW, - -"I am really _sorry_ that we shall not be able to spend the holidays -together this year, as we have often done so _delightfully_ in the past, -but I feel that I am only doing _what is right_. It is _so important_ -in these terrible times that everybody should practise the _strictest -economy_ in food; and every one must do what he (_or she_) can for our -dear country; and I have every hope that by going about the villages in -my caravan, as I told you in my last, and delivering simple lectures on -the greens and other public places, I may persuade the dear people, -_especially the mothers_, that it is not _really necessary_ to health to -have _both_ bacon _and_ eggs for breakfast _every_ morning. If you were -a little older and more experienced I am sure that you would be able -_and willing_ to give me _very great_ assistance; but after your -_arduous labours_ at school I feel you need complete rest from brain -work, and you will get that nowhere so well as with _dear_ Mr. and Mrs. -Trenchard. To make up for your disappointment in being deprived of our -usual simple pleasures I send you a little pocket-money, which I am sure -you will spend _wisely_. I _hope and believe_ that you will not indulge -in luxuries; we all of us owe it to our _King and country_ to eat as -little as we can. You will find that _barley water and onions fried in -margarine_ make an excellent light breakfast; will you tell Mrs. -Trenchard that, _with my love_? In the course of my tour I hope to -reach Polstead before your holidays come to an end. I will give you -good notice, and rely on you to ensure me a _large audience_. - -"Your affectionate aunt, - "CAROLINE TEMPLETON." - - -"Excellent Aunt Caroline!" exclaimed Eves. "But your 'arduous work,' -Bobby. My hat!" - -"I work jolly hard." - -"The labour we delight in don't show on our reports, old man. Anyway, -you've got a tenner. Better an aunt in England than a pater in India. -The old boy's all right, of course; I don't blame him, but that old -mummy of a solicitor who manages things here. He'll pay Mother -Trenchard's weekly bills on the nail, but he won't send me another penny -till next quarter day; theory is, teach me economy, as if any man could -come through the summer term with a pocketful of money! The wonder is -I've got fivepence halfpenny plus seven bob." - -"Well, Aunt Caroline's tenner will go a long----" - -"Will go along too fast," Eves interrupted. "What will you try first?" - -"You see, I've got such loads of ideas. Better start with something -useful and patriotic. The hair-cutter can wait." - -"That's rather a pity. Young Noakes's flaxen locks are as long and -twice as oily as Barker's. Still, his father might cut up rough; he'd -certainly charge you for the hair-oil you'd wasted. Noakes gets my -bristles up, and Trenchard looks very blue when he calls. Wonder what -he comes for; we've only been here three days, and he's called twice at -tea-time, and eaten enormously. Any one could see the Trenchards didn't -want him; asked him to stay out of politeness, I suppose." - -"I say, we're not getting on. There's the tar entanglement." - -"Jolly good idea! Thousands of Huns stuck fast like flies on a -fly-paper; you know, one of those you unroll and can't get off your -fingers. But don't tar come from gasworks?" - -"Really, I don't know. Why?" - -"I believe it does. That idea's off, then, for the present. Let's try -something with material we can get close at hand." - -"Well, what about the smoke machine? With the submarines sinking our -vessels----" - -"Jolly good idea! Lick the submarine, and the Hun's done--_un_done, you -might say. I vote for the smoke machine, then. By the way, where will -you change your note? A tenner's a rarity here, I fancy, and Trenchard -won't have any change." - -"He'll be going into Wimborne or Weymouth or somewhere to draw his -hands' wages at the week-end. We can jog on till then. That's him -calling us, isn't it?" - -A prolonged shout reminded them that it was time to start work. - -"Another idea, Bob," said Eves as they crossed the bridge and walked up -the road. "An automatic turnip-puller. Of all the dreary, deadly, -backaching jobs, pulling turnips is the rottenest." - -"Still, it's work on the land; got to be done by some one. An automatic -puller: I'll think it over." - - - - *II* - - -Fellow-members of the Sixth Form, and close friends, Eves and Templeton -were spending the holidays together by force of circumstances. The -latter was an orphan, and lived with his aunt. She, having embraced the -temporary career of lecturer on food economy, had arranged that her -nephew should undertake voluntary farm work with Giles Trenchard, whose -wife was an old family servant of the Templetons', and at whose farm, in -the Dorset village we will call Polstead, Miss Templeton had visited -more than once. Eves's parents were in India, and the London lawyer in -whose guardianship he was placed raised no objection when he proposed to -spend the holidays with his friend. - -Five Oaks Farm was of no great size, and had been the property of the -Trenchard family for generations. The present owner, a hale old yeoman -whose features were framed for perennial cheerfulness, had latterly -looked rather careworn. A year before the war an epidemic among his -cattle had caused him heavy losses. Both his sons had joined the Army -and were now fighting in France, a constant source of anxiety. Being -short-handed, he was glad enough to avail himself of the voluntary help -of the two strapping schoolboys of seventeen, and they had already, -though only three days at the farm, firmly established themselves in the -good graces of both host and hostess by their readiness to turn their -hands to any kind of work. - -Templeton, however, had not come to this remote rural spot merely to -work on the land. He had a serious belief that he was cut out for an -inventor, the only ground for which was an astonishing fertility of -ideas. At school he was always in hot water with the masters; he would -rather construct an automatic hair-cutter than a Latin prose. The -prospect of a six or seven weeks' stay in the quiet village, with the -sea within a mile, held promise for Templeton of many opportunities for -working out his ideas. There were hours of leisure even on the farm, and -Mr. Trenchard, whom he had at once taken into his confidence, was -impressed by his earnestness and put an old barn at his disposal, -pleasing himself with the hope that some great invention would spring to -birth on Five Oaks Farm. - -Templeton took himself very seriously, and, as often happens, attracted -to himself a very unlike character in Tom Eves, to whom life was one -delightful comedy; even the flint-hearted lawyer was matter for -jokes--except at end of term. While having a genuine admiration for -Templeton, Eves's humorous eye was quick to see the lighter side of his -friend's experiments, and he shared in them for the sake of the fun -which he did not often trouble to disguise. - -That evening, when work was over, Eves and Templeton strolled down to -the seashore together to discuss plans for the smoke machine. - -"You see," said Templeton in his most earnest manner, "in things like -this you can't do better than follow the example of most other -inventors, and see if anything in the natural world will give us a -start." - -"'Follow Nature,'" chuckled Eves. "You remember old Dicky Bird setting -that as an essay theme?" - -"Yes; he sent mine up for good." - -"He jawed me: sarcastic owl! He was always asking for homely -illustrations, as he called them, and when I gave him one he snapped my -head off. I wrote, 'An excellent example of the application of this -philosophical maxim in practical life is afforded by the navvy, who, as -the most casual observer will often have noticed, dispenses with a -handkerchief when he has a cold in the head.' A jolly good sentence, -what?" - -"But I don't see----" - -"Oh, it's not worth explaining; it was the explanation that rattled the -Dicky Bird. What were you saying?" - -"I was saying we ought to get a hint from Nature. What's the object of -the smoke machine?" - -"To make a deuce of a smother, of course." - -"Yes, to enable a vessel to hide itself from a submarine. Well, what's -the nearest thing in Nature?" - -"Give it up; I'm no good at conundrums." - -"This isn't a conundrum; it's a scientific fact. You alarm a -cuttle-fish, and it squirts out an inky fluid that conceals it from its -enemy." - -"You don't say so! Jolly clever of it. Ought to be called the -scuttle-fish. But how does that help you? You want your cloud in the -air, not in the water." - -"Of course. The idea is to produce a large volume in a short time, of -great opacity, yet spreading rapidly over a large area. What's the -nearest parallel in Nature?" - -"Human nature?" - -"I said Nature." - -"Well, human nature's a part of Nature; and, if you ask me, I should say -a careless cook and a foul kitchen chimney--the fire engine up, and a -month's notice." - -"I do wish you'd be serious. But you've hit it all the same. -Half-consumed carbon----" - -"You mean soot?" - -"Soot is half-consumed carbon. That's the stuff we want. It's the very -thing, because a steamship produces loads of it every day. All you want -is a suitable apparatus and what you may call a firing charge. I'll -just make a note." - -He took out his note-book, and wrote in his very neat handwriting the -following tabular statement: - - - SMOKE MACHINE. - - REQUIRED. - -1. Soot. -2. Combustibles. -3. Receptacle. -4. Vehicle. - - -"Four-wheelers are cheap, but bang goes your tenner, Bobby," said Eves, -looking over his shoulder. "Can't you do without the vehicle?" - -"You don't understand. We must have something to carry the receptacle -along at a good speed, like a ship at sea. A motor-boat would be the -very thing, but that's out of the question. We must find something -cheap to experiment with on land, and if it works I'll send the scheme -to the Admiralty, and they'll provide funds for marine tests." - -"Jolly good idea! I suggest we take the things in order. Soot first. -What about that? There won't be much in the chimneys. Mother -Trenchard's sure to have had a spring cleaning." - -"We'll see. Combustibles are easily got." - -"Fire-lighters! You can get 'em at old Noakes's; they make a fine smoke -themselves and a jolly good stink. Splendid!" - -"They might do. I don't see my way to numbers three and four at -present, but I'll ask Trenchard if he has anything he could let us have -cheap; he takes a great interest in my inventions." - -"Good, old bird. I say, it's about supper-time; we'd better get back. -You didn't say anything to Mrs. Trenchard about barley water and fried -onions and margarine?" - -"Not yet." - -"Good man! She'll be quite satisfied with Aunt Caroline's love. Come -on." - -At supper, in the farmer's raftered living-room, while Templeton was -considering how to open up the matter of soot with Mrs. Trenchard, Eves -suddenly began to sniff. - -"Is that a smell of soot?" he said. "Does the chimney need sweeping, -Mrs. Trenchard?" - -"There now!" exclaimed the farmer's wife, a comfortable-looking matron -some years younger than her husband. "If I didn't say to Trenchard I -was sure the noses of you London gentlemen would find it out! Us country -bodies don't notice it, bless you." - -Eves grinned. - -"'Tis true," the good woman went on; "it do need the brush. But there, -what can you do when the milingtary takes the only sweep in the village -and makes a soldier of him? I declare I didn't know him, he was so -clean. 'Tis a strange thought: the war makes men clean and chimneys -dirty." - -"And takes away my appetite," said Eves, with his mouth half full of -bacon. "Look here, Mrs. Trenchard, you're going to market to-morrow -morning; why shouldn't we sweep the chimney for you while you're away? -I'm sure Templeton and I could do it, and we'd like to, awfully." - -"'Tis very kind of you, that I will say; but I couldn't abear to think -of you dirtying yourselves." - -"Oh, that's nothing. We get dirty enough on the farm." - -"But that be clean dirt, not like the bothersome sut. Besides, there's -no chimney brush and no rods." - -"Quite unnecessary," declared Eves. "Templeton has invented a new way of -sweeping chimneys, haven't you, Bob?" He gave him a kick under the -table. "You've no idea what a lot of useful notions he's got in his -head." - -"Well now, did you ever?" said Mrs. Trenchard. "Do 'ee tell me all about -it, Mr. Templeton." - -"To-morrow, Mrs. Trenchard," said Eves, hastily. "You see, it's quite -new, and hasn't been properly tried yet. An inventor never likes to -talk about his inventions until he's proved they're a success." - -"Ay sure; he's in the right there," said Mr. Trenchard. - -"I knew you'd agree," said Eves. "Well, then, we've settled that we -sweep the chimney while you're out, Mrs. Trenchard, and we'll tell you -all about it when you get back. You'll be delighted, I assure you." - -When they went up to the room they shared, Templeton turned upon his -chum a face of trouble, and began: - -"Look here, old man, it isn't right, you know. You know very well I -have not invented a way of----" - -"Hold hard! You don't mean to tell me you haven't got it all cut and -dried?" - -"Well, when you began gassing, of course I had to think of something to -save my face." - -"I knew it! The idea was there; it only wanted switching on, like -electricity. What's the scheme?" - -"Still, I don't think you ought----" - -"The scheme! Out with it." - -"Well, I thought we might get on the roof with a long cord, with weights -and a bundle of straw tied to one end, and jerk it up and down inside -the chimney." - -"And the soot falls, and great is the fall of it! Splendid! Couldn't -be better. We'll have a ripping day to-morrow." - -Next morning, soon after breakfast, Mrs. Trenchard set off for the -market town, driving one of the light carts herself. The farmer went -off to his mangold fields; the maids were busy in the dairy across the -yard; and the inventors had the house to themselves. The simple -materials they needed were easily obtained, and within an hour the novel -sweeping apparatus was ready. It had been decided that Templeton should -climb to the roof, while Eves remained in the room to see how the -invention succeeded. - -Only when he was left to himself did it occur to Eves that something -should be hung in front of the fireplace to prevent the soot from flying -into the room, as he had seen done by professional sweeps, and he ran to -the potato shed to find an old sack or two that would answer the -purpose. While he was still in the shed, a man entered the yard and -looked cautiously around. He was a strange figure. A straw slouch hat, -yellow with age, covered long, greasy black hair. His long, straight -upper lip was clean shaven, but his cheeks and chin were clothed with -thick, wiry whiskers and beard. He wore a rusty-black frock-coat, grey -trousers very baggy at the knees, and white rubber-soled shoes. It was -none other than Philemon Noakes, the owner of the village store, grocer, -oilman, draper, seedsman--a rustic William Whiteley. - -Seeing no one about, he approached the farmhouse, walking without once -straightening his legs, glanced in at the open door, then round the -yard, and, after hesitating a moment, entered the room. Mr. Trenchard's -desk, open and strewn with papers, stood against the wall to the left. -Noakes walked to it, and had just bent down, apparently with the object -of looking over the farmer's correspondence, when a muffled sound from -the neighbourhood of the fireplace caused him to start guiltily and turn -half round. - -At that moment Eves, carrying a couple of sacks, arrived at the door. -Seeing the man start away from the desk, he stepped back out of sight to -watch what was going on. - -Noakes, as if to resolve a doubt or satisfy his curiosity, crept across -the room, doubled himself, and looked up the chimney. There was a -rattling sound, and Noakes was half obliterated in a mass of soot, -clouds of which floated past him into the room. Hatless, choking, -rubbing his eyes, he staggered back. - -[Illustration: "THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND, AND NOAKES WAS HALF -OBLITERATED."] - -"I say, Mr. Noakes, what _are_ you up to?" said Eves, entering with the -sacks. "What a frightful mess you're in!" - -"'Tis your doing," spluttered Noakes, shaking the soot from his clothes. -"'Tis you, I know 'tis, and I'll--I'll----" - -"Gently, Mr. Noakes, don't be rash. Why you should accuse me when I'm -perfectly innocent--you've hurt my feelings, Mr. Noakes." - -"What about my feelings?" shouted the angry man. "'Tis a plot betwixt -you and t'other young villain, and----" - -"Really, Mr. Noakes, with every consideration for your wounded feelings, -I must say I think you most insulting. Who on earth was to know that -you'd be paying one of your visits just at the moment when the chimney -was being swept, and would choose that very moment to look up the -chimney? You surely didn't expect to find Mr. Trenchard there?" - -Noakes glared; at the same time his eyes expressed a certain uneasiness. -How much had this smooth-spoken young ruffian seen? Picking up his hat -he shook the soot from it, rammed it on his head, and strode to the -door. There he turned, shouted, "You've not heard the last of this," and -hurried away. - -When Templeton came in a minute later he found Eves sitting back in a -chair, shaking with laughter. - -"My word, what a frightful mess!" exclaimed Templeton. "I forgot all -about a covering. It's nothing to laugh at." - -"Oh, isn't it! If you'd only seen him, soot all over his greasy head, -and the more he rubbed his face the worse it got." - -"What on earth are you talking about?" - -"Old Noakes. It's a priceless invention, Bob. Great minds don't think -of little things, but _I_ remembered the covering and fetched these two -sacks. When I got back Noakes was here, prying into Trenchard's papers. -But I fancy he heard a sound, for he went over to the chimney, and -then--by George! you've missed the funniest sight ever seen. He's only -just gone, in a most frightful paddy." - -"I don't wonder. Don't see anything funny in it myself. I called down -'Are you ready?' and if you'd been here as we arranged it wouldn't have -happened." - -"Of course it wouldn't, and old Noakes wouldn't have been jolly well -paid out for sneaking. What's he want nosing about at a time when he -thought every one was out? Trenchard must be told." - -"I don't know about that, but I do know we'd better clear up this mess -before Mrs. Trenchard gets back." - -"Or she'll think precious little of your invention. It's a great -success, anyway; you've got more soot than you expected. And old Noakes -carried away a lot." - - - - *III* - - -In Mrs. Trenchard's absence there was to be no midday dinner. After -clearing up the mess with the assistance of one of the dairy-maids (who -called it "a rare messopotamia as anybody ever did see"), the two lads -went to join the farmer at lunch in the fields. - -"That there invention, now," said Mr. Trenchard. "Hev it worked?" - -"Splendid!" said Eves, emphatically. "We've got two good sacks of soot -and scared a slug." - -"It don't take a mighty deal to do that, sir," said the farmer with a -smile. "I'll find that soot useful, and I'm much obleeged to 'ee, to be -sure." - -"Oh, but, Mr. Trenchard, could you spare me some?" said Templeton. - -"For another invention," Eves added. "He's got a jolly good idea for -protecting our ships from the U-boats, and soot's in it." - -"As much as you do want, surely. I'd gie more'n a little to scrimp them -there engines of iniquity." - -"And perhaps you could help me with something else," said Templeton. "I -want a sort of metal box; any old thing would do, something that's no -good for anything else." - -"I can find 'ee summat, I b'lieve. There be an old tank in the shed -behind the dairy, where I keep th' old tricycle." - -"A tricycle!" exclaimed Eves. "What about that for number four, Bob?" - -"The very thing! Will you lend it or sell it, Mr. Trenchard?" - -"I'll take no money from a young gent as is inventing for his country, -danged if I will. 'Tis a old ancient thing that I bought five-and-twenty -year ago for me and the missus." - -"A sociable!" cried Eves. "We are in luck's way." - -"'Tis called such, I b'lieve," said the farmer. "Ay, 'tis many a year -since the missus and me went gallivanting about the country. She were a -nesh young maid then, so to speak it; you wouldn't think it to see the -size she've growed to. I've kep' th' old thing for the sake o' them gay -young days." - -"If you can spare us this afternoon, I'd like to experiment with it," -said Templeton. - -"Surely, and welcome, and I hope 'twill serve 'ee." - -Hurrying back to the farmhouse they drew the tricycle from the shed and -tried its paces over the yard. It was rusty and stiff, but a little oil -eased the parts, and Templeton was delighted with his number four. The -tank of which Mr. Trenchard had spoken was made of galvanised iron, and -had several holes pierced in each side. - -"The very thing!" cried Templeton. "We'll make some more holes at -different heights, Tom." - -"What for?" - -"My idea is to rig up some trays inside the tank, one above another; -there are several old sheets of iron lying about. They'll hold the soot -and combustibles." - -"By George! we forgot to ask Mother Trenchard to bring some -firelighters." - -"Never mind about them for the moment. We'll bore holes just above the -trays, and put in some straw soaked in paraffin, and light it. Then -when we start there'll be a fine draught through the holes." - -"Splendid! But shan't we be fairly choked?" - -"Of course we'll rig up the tank behind us; the smoke will all blow -back." - -Eves eyed the tricycle dubiously. - -"It'll be the dickens of a job to fix this heavy tank," he said. - -"Oh, we'll manage it. There's plenty of wire about, and we can hunt up -something that will do for stays." - -They worked energetically all the afternoon. Templeton's patience and -ingenuity triumphed over all difficulties. The tank slipped off several -times, but at last it was firmly fixed with an elaborate arrangement of -stays and wire, and when Mrs. Trenchard returned, between five and six -o'clock, she beheld her guests careering round the farmyard, making a -trial trip. - -"Well, I never did see!" she exclaimed, pulling up the horse at the -gate. "Whatever hev happened to the old tricycle?" - -Eves waved his hand gleefully. - -"Splendid!" he cried, as Templeton halted the machine beside the cart. -"A new invention, Mrs. Trenchard." - -"'Tis like the butcher's contraption I saw in the town, only the box is -behind instead of afore. What be the hidden meaning of that, I'd like -to know?" - -"It won't be hidden long, Mrs. Trenchard. But the sun will be hidden; -there'll be an eclipse to-night." - -"Go along with your rubbish, Mr. Eves. The sun will go down at his -proper time, whatever the clocks do say; they Parlyment men up along at -Lunnon can't make no eclipses, don't think it." - -"Templeton means to; don't you, Bob?" - -"He _does_ talk rubbish, Mrs. Trenchard," said Templeton, earnestly. -"All that he means is that we're going to try making a thick smoke, to -see if we can hide our ships from the German submarines." - -"Well, never did I hear the like o' that! You'll need a powerful deal o' -smoke, Mr. Templeton." - -"Of course, this is only experimental, on a very small scale. If it -succeeds----" - -"He'll be rolling in wealth, and you shall have a new bonnet, Mrs. -Trenchard," said Eves. - -"Ah, me! That do remind me of my boy Joe, to be sure; allers a-going to -be rich and gie me a new bonnet. And now, poor boy, he's in them there -horrible trenches, and the rats----" - -"Cheer up, Mrs. Trenchard," said Eves, hastily, spying a tear. "I'm -sorry for the rats, from what you've told us of Joe. I'm sure you want -your tea after your long day. We want ours, I can tell you; and after -tea, Templeton will give you a demonstration of this splendid invention. -I say, Bob," he added, when Mrs. Trenchard had gone into the house, -"while they're making tea there'll be just time for you to cut down to -the village and buy some firelighters at old Noakes's. I don't suppose -he'd serve me. Hurry up." - -Mr. Trenchard returning from the fields a few minutes later, Eves -unburdened himself. - -"I say, Mr. Trenchard," he said, "when I told you we scared a slug, I -didn't mean one of those small slimy things, you know. I meant Mr. -Noakes. I caught him poking his nose into your papers this morning. I -think you ought to know." - -"Do 'ee tell me that, now?" said the farmer, looking distressed. - -"Honest Injun. He was over at your desk when we were sweeping the -chimney, and the fact is, he got a mouthful of soot and went away -fuming." - -"I'd never have believed it, and him a chapel member," said Mr. -Trenchard. "Don't 'ee go for to anger Mr. Noakes, sir, med I beseech -'ee." - -"All right. I dare say he'll keep out of our way. Of course, if he's a -friend of yours----" - -"I wouldn't say that, sir, but as the Book do say, 'as much as lieth in -you, be at peace wi' all men.'" - -"Jolly good idea! If the other chap won't be at peace with you, then -you must go for him. Splendid!" - -After tea they made their first trial at smoke production. Placing a -layer of soot on each of the trays, with a couple of fire-lighters in -the midst, they lit some straw soaked in paraffin, poked it through the -holes, and began to treadle the machine round the yard, the farmer and -his wife looking on at the door. A considerable volume of smoke poured -out of the tank, but when they pulled up, Mr. Trenchard said: - -"'Tis a noble beginning, to be sure; but I own, so to speak, I could -allers see that there tank through the smother, and if I understand your -true meaning, that hadn't oughter be." - -"Quite right," said Templeton. "We want more of a draught, Tom. Larger -holes and greater speed." - -"Righto!" said Eves. "Will you chisel the holes larger? Then we might -start on a real cruise--down the hill to the village, say. You can't -work up much speed in the yard. What do you think of it, Mrs. -Trenchard?" - -"I know why my chimney wanted sweeping so bad, Mr. Eves. Ay sure, ye're -just as full of mischief as my Joe." - -Half an hour's work with a chisel and hammer sufficed to enlarge the -holes. They then filled up the trays with more soot and firelighters, -kindled a fire, and when the smoke began to surge, ran the machine out -at the gate on to the high-road. A winding hill, nearly half a mile -long, led down to the village. The slope was not very steep; the -tricycle with its tank was heavy, and the bearings rusty; but by dint of -hard pedalling they soon worked up a good speed, and the increased -draught caused the smoke to pour forth in a dense cloud, ever increasing -in volume and pungency. - -Meanwhile in the village young Noakes had noticed the first issues of -smoke, and ran into his father's shop shouting: - -"Feyther, feyther, Farmer Trenchard's ricks be afire!" - -Noakes, in a state of great agitation, rushed to the door in his apron, -glanced up the hill, and cried, excitedly: - -"Fire, fire! Run and rouse up the neighbours, Josiah. 'Tis a matter o' -hundreds o' pounds. Fire!" - -The boy set off through the village at a frantic run, shrieking "Fire!" -at the top of his voice. Out rushed the baker in his singlet straight -from the oven; the butcher in blue with his chopper; the smith from his -forge, rolling up his leather apron; the agricultural labourers, smoking -their after-tea pipes; the village constable in his shirt-sleeves. The -little street filled with women and children, the latter flocking to the -shed where the village fire manual was kept, and towards which the -tradesmen, members of the volunteer fire brigade, were hastening. -Waiting only to don their helmets, the men dragged the clumsy machine -forth, Noakes being the most energetic, and began to drag it up the -hill, the children following in a swarm. - -"It do seem out a'ready, sonnies," said the smith, before they had gone -many yards. - -"That's true as gospel," said the baker. "Do 'ee think I med go back to -my dough, neighbours?" - -They came to a halt. It was the interval during which Eves and -Templeton were overhauling and restocking the machine. - -"'Tis a mercy for Trenchard," added the smith. - -"A merciful Providence," murmured Noakes, the lines of anxiety -disappearing from his face. "Run up along and tell neighbour Trenchard -how we all do heartily rejoice, Josiah." - -The boy started, but the moment after he had turned the first corner he -came rushing back with his eyes like saucers. - -"Feyther," he yelled, "fire bain't out. 'Tis blazing worse, and ricks -be ramping down along like giant Goliath!" - -"'Tis a true word, save us all!" cried the baker. "What in the -name----" - -"Now, sonnies, haul away," cried the smith. "Ricks hev staddles but no -legs, as fur as I do know. 'Tis the wind blowing the smoke down along. -Now, all together." - -The windings of the road, and the hedges on each side, prevented them -from getting a clear view of this singular phenomenon. All that they -were aware of was a dense cloud of black smoke approaching them very -rapidly. They had just restarted the manual engine when, round the bend -just ahead, the tricycle shot into view with a huge trail of smoke -behind it. - -"Sakes alive!" gasped the smith. - -The children yelled, and fled down the road. The men, after an instant's -dismayed irresolution, scattered up the banks into the hedges, leaving -the engine standing half across the road. Noakes, on whose face a dark -flush had gathered as he recognised Eves, backed into a hazel and -flourished his fists. - -Templeton, who was steering, tried to turn the machine into the hedge -before it reached the manual. But he was a shade too late; the off -wheel fouled the engine; the tricycle spun round; its riders were flung -into the hedge, and the trays, parting company with the tank as it -overturned, were distributed in several directions, bestowing a good -portion of their noisome contents impartially among the members of the -fire brigade. - -[Illustration: "ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE."] - -The inventors picked themselves up, rubbed their elbows, and approached -the discomfited villagers, who, coughing and spluttering, were now -descending into the road. Templeton looked serious; Eves wore a broad -grin. - -"Really, I'm extremely sorry," began the former. - -"Sorry be jowned!" shouted the baker. "Sorry won't clean my hands, and -my dough a-spoiling." - -"'Tis rank pison!" cried the butcher. - -"Assault and battery and attempted murder," shrieked Noakes, furiously. -"Wi' my own firelighters!" - -"Let us discuss it calmly," said Templeton. "No one can regret more than -I the--the inconvenience to which you have been put, quite without -intention, I assure you----" - -"But the fact is," Eves interposed, pointing to the manual, "you were on -the wrong side of the road. Constable, I appeal to you." - -The constable, who had left his fire helmet in the hedge, scratched his -head, the villagers looking at him expectantly. - -"Well, neighbours all," he said, slowly, "the law's what it is, and I'm -not the man, being sworn in my office of constable--'t ud be high -treason or worse to gainsay it. And I don't care who the man is, that -there manual be on the right when the law says it oughter be on the -left, and no true man can deny it." - -"That's for horses and carts, for horses and carts," fumed Noakes. - -"As a man I respect you, neighbour Noakes," said the constable, -solemnly, "but as a officer of the law I say you don't know nothing -about it. The manual's a vehicle; well, then, the law's no respecter of -persons, and what be law for a horse and cart be law for a manual; ay -sure, for a baby's pram, if so be a pram was in custody." - -"That's all very well," said the baker, "but what's the law say about -foul smoke? Tell us that, constable." - -"Foul smoke be from factory chimneys; t'other smoke bain't foul." - -"Of course not," said Eves. "You've got the law at your finger-ends, -constable. The penalty for being on the wrong side is a heavy fine, -isn't it?" - -"That depends on whether 'tis Squire Banks or Sir Timothy on the bench, -sir." - -"Well, my friend won't prosecute, I'm sure. And when I tell you he was -trying a new invention for beating the Germans, you'll be sorry you've -ruined it through being on the wrong side of the road." - -"Wish we'd knowed that afore, sir," said the smith. "The truth on't is, -we thought 'twas Farmer Trenchard's ricks afire." - -"And like true Britons you rushed to help your neighbour. Splendid! -I'll tell Mr. Trenchard how promptly the brigade turned out; he's very -lucky in having such good friends." - -"Speaking for us all, sir----" began the smith. - -"Not for me," Noakes interrupted, savagely. - -"Hear what the man hev got to say, neighbour Noakes," said the baker. -"Mebbe I won't agree with him myself, but I'm not the man to say so -afore he's hawked it out." - -"Speaking for us all," the smith went on, "I'm certain sure there's not -a man of us but hopes the gen'lman's invention bain't ruined out and -out. Anything as will beat the Germans hev our hearty good wishes, eh, -souls?" - -"Hear, hear!" cried the butcher. - -"There, neighbour Noakes, you was too primitive," said the baker, -reprovingly. "'Tis a good cause we suffer in, and I'm not the man to -complain. And speaking for us all, I say three cheers for the young -gen'lman." - -The cheers were given, Noakes dissenting. Eves shook hands with them all -round, Noakes excepted. Then he helped them to right the manual, and -gave them a genial good-bye as they trundled it off. - -"We've had a ripping day, Bob," he said, mopping his brow. "The smoke -was splendid--a first-rate stink. Old Noakes's face was a picture." - -He laughed heartily. - -"I'm afraid the tricycle is crocked for ever," said Templeton with a -gloomy look, "and I don't approve----" - -"Oh, pax! You can pay Trenchard for the old thing out of your tenner; -and you're jolly ungrateful. If I hadn't chipped in they wouldn't have -cheered you. Let's pick up the ruins and get 'em back somehow. Buck -up!" - -Mr. Trenchard received Templeton's apologies for the break-up of the -tricycle very good-naturedly. He refused his offer to buy it or have it -repaired. - -"'Tis come to a good end, if so be your invention is a success," he -said. - -Templeton drew out a specification of his smoke machine and sent it to -the Ministry of Munitions. In about a fortnight he received a formal -letter of acknowledgment. But by that time he had almost forgotten the -smoke machine, other ideas having absorbed his attention and activities. - - - - - *TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED* - - - - *I* - - -Mrs. Trenchard that evening, after a brief absence from the living-room, -reappeared in her best flowered bonnet and a muslin shawl and announced -her intention of going "just there and back." Her husband, who was -reading the newspaper, looked up and nodded. Templeton was sketching -out a specification, and did not hear what she said. Eves gave her a -cheerful _au revoir_ from the depths of the chair where he lay at ease, -and smiled at her retreating form. - -"'Tis like that, sir," said the farmer, catching his look. "'There and -back' in our family do mean a gossip with Martha Runt." - -"The wife of Runt the smith?" - -"Ay, that be the woman. I've not a word to say against Martha--not a -word; but she be a rare workman with her tongue. We shan't see no more -of Mother till supper-time." - -He relapsed into his paper, and Eves stretched his legs and watched -Templeton steadily pursuing his task. - -Mrs. Trenchard returned a good hour before she was expected. Her rosy -cheeks were flushed a deeper shade than usual; her bonnet was awry. - -"I never did!" she exclaimed, pulling the strings into a knot. "No, -never in all my born days, without a word of a lie in it--never hev I -seed or heard no such goings on." - -"What hev ruffled yer spirits, Mother?" asked the farmer, mildly. - -"You may talk till yer throat be dry as a kex, Trenchard," cried the -angry woman, "but you'll never make me believe as black's white--never!" - -"What silly ass has been trying to, Mrs. Trenchard?" said Eves, sitting -up. He had passed a dull evening. - -"There's my boy Joe," she went on. "What did he do, though only a -Territorial and not supposed to move a leg out of his parish? 'Mum,' -says he--you heard un wi' yer own ears, Trenchard--''tis said here and -there they want men in France. Seems to me I must go.' 'That heathen -land!' says I. 'Ay, that's the place,' says he; 'we're all going.' And -go he did, and what wi' the rats and the mud----" - -"Now, now, don't 'ee carry on, Mother," said the farmer, seeing that his -wife's eyes were filling. "Who've been vexing yer soul? And I don't -care who the man is----" - -"Man! He baint no man. He's a conscientious objection. You'd never -believe it, Trenchard. When I traipsed down along to village, there was -a crowd of a dozen or more by church gate, and, thinks I, 'They be -talking o' young gentleman's invention'; but, coming up to them, no such -thing; 'twas that lad of Noakes's holding forth, preaching peace as bold -as brass." - -"You don't say so, Mrs. Trenchard," cried Eves. "That little chap with -the long hair?" - -"No, no, Mr. Eves; little Josiah baint so gifted. 'Twas Noakes's elder -lad, Nahum by name, as went away to work in Weymouth a year or two back, -and now home he comes boasting of how he 'scaped the Army, and telling -folks the war is wrong, and we be as much to blame as they Germans, and -no one didn't oughter fight for their country, and a pack of rubbish. -All fighting be against his conscience, says he--a pretty conscience, -indeed, as growed sudden when the Lords and Parlyment said every man was -a born soldier. Conscience! Why, Trenchard, you mind how he used to -leather his feyther's horse; and many's the time I've seed un cuff and -pinch his little brother till the poor soul hollered wi' pain. The -likes of him! What them there tribunals be about in letting him off -when good boys like my Joe, as wouldn't hurt a fly and haven't got no -conscience--there, 'tis a scandal, and makes my blood boil, it do." - -"Well, well, Mother," said Mr. Trenchard, "I'll go as fur's to say I -agree with 'ee; but I wouldn't say a word against Mr. Noakes. He's a man -of renown in the parish." - -"The dickens he is!" ejaculated Eves, who had followed Mrs. Trenchard's -story with the liveliest interest. Templeton, also, having finished his -draft, had listened with his usual air of thoughtfulness. - -"Judging by the price he charged for those firelighters," he said, "Mr. -Noakes is a profiteer." - -"Prophet neither here nor there, for all his Bible name, and his sons' -likewise," said Mrs. Trenchard. "That there Nahum, coming here and -stuffing his unnat'ral thoughts into the heads of our young fellers -whose time be nigh come! There was Billy Runt, and young Pantany, and -Tim Coggins, and such--oh! it did rile me, and I hadn't the heart to go -there, so I comed home along. And bless 'ee, he be going to wag his -tongue again to-morrow, and axed the boys to bring all their friends to -hear un." - -"Splendid!" cried Eves. "I say, Bob, we'll go. You can nobble the -audience for Aunt Caroline." - -This suggestion was not immediately accepted by Templeton, but in the -privacy of their bedroom it bore fruit. - -"This is rather serious, you know, Tom," he said. - -"Broken a collar-stud, old man?" Eves rejoined. - -"No; I mean this speechifying. It's not right for the fellow to turn -the village boys against military service." - -"Gas like that won't do much harm." - -"But it may. It ought to be stopped. It's our duty to stop it." - -"Jolly good idea! Start an opposition meeting and talk him down. -Ripping rag!" - -"I'm afraid I'm not up to that. You see----" - -"Leave it to me, then. I bet I can rattle my tongue faster than Nahum -Noakes. By George! Bobby, what an awful name!" - -"You don't understand, Tom. It isn't talk that's wanted. The question -is, is he sincere? If he is--well, what about free speech?" - -"A free kick is more to the purpose. But what are you driving at?" - -"Well, oughtn't we to find out if he really has a conscientious -objection?--test him, you know? Mrs. Trenchard seemed to doubt it, and -if he's a humbug he ought to be exposed." - -"Just so, Socrates. I'll kick him, and see how he takes it. You can't -take him to pieces like a clock, and examine his innards." - -"That's the difficulty. Your idea won't do at all. You can't justify -an unprovoked assault." - -"I jolly well can. But I'm dead beat; pedalling that heavy old machine -nearly biffed me. Sleep on it, Bob; perhaps you'll dream one of your -bright ideas." - -But in the morning Templeton confessed that he had slept as sound as a -top, and hadn't given the matter another thought. Meditation during the -day was not more fruitful, and in the evening, when they went down to -the meeting-place opposite the church porch, Templeton had come to the -conclusion that they had better hear what Noakes had to say, and act as -circumstances seemed to require. - -On the way they met Haylock, the constable, nodded to him, and passed -on. After a few seconds, however, Eves ran back, saying: - -"I'll catch you in half a tick, Bob." - -Templeton strolled on, too busy with his thoughts even to wonder what -his friend had to say to the policeman, or to notice the broad smile on -Eves's face when he overtook him. - -They found that the meeting had already started. A group of the male -villagers, old and young, was gathered in a half-circle in front of a -sturdy-looking fellow of some twenty years, who was perched on the -churchyard wall. Nahum Noakes's appearance was that of an unusually -robust clerk. His black hair was cut short; his straw hat was tilted -back, showing a neat middle parting and well-oiled side-shows. He wore -a pointed collar and a lilac tie; his grey flannel trousers were hitched -up, revealing lilac socks neatly stretched above brown shoes. - -"You want to know what I said to the tribunal?" he was saying as the two -new-comers sauntered up. His accent was that of a countryman overlaid -with a thin veneer of town polish. "I'll tell 'ee. 'Your name?' says -the chairman. 'Noakes,' says I. 'Christian name?' says he. 'Nahum,' -says I. 'Yes, your name,' says he. 'Nahum,' says I. 'Don't waste our -time,' says he; 'what is your _other_ name besides Noakes?' 'Nahum,' -says I. You see, neighbours, I was taking a rise out of him. 'Is the -man an idiot?' says he. 'No, he's not, and he knows his Bible,' says I. -That was a good one, wasn't it? Well, there was a young officer there, -only a lieutenant, but as stuck up as if he was commander-in-chief. -Military representative, he's called, I believe. He had a paper in his -hand, and he cocked his eye at it, and said: 'The man's Christian name -is Nahum, I find.' 'Oh! ah!' says the chairman, fixing his eyeglass. -'One of the minor prophets. Well, Nahum Noakes, what are the grounds of -your appeal?' 'I don't hold with fighting,' says I; ''tis against my -principles.' One of the tribunal, a little worm of a feller, pipes up: -'What would you do, my man, if the Germans landed?' 'I'd meet 'em as -men and brothers,' says I." - -"Was they yer principles when you cracked young Beddoe's skull for -saying as you sanded yer feyther's sugar?" cried a voice from the -outskirts of the crowd. - -There was a titter; Mr. Noakes, who had been listening to his son's -eloquence with a fond smile of paternal pride, scowled at the -interrupter, Runt the smith. - -"Abuse is no argument, Mr. Runt," said Nahum, obviously nettled. "What -happened years ago when I lived in the village is not to the point. -Since I've been a resident in the town I've done a deal of deep -thinking, I can tell you, and studied a lot of subjects you've never -heard of----" - -"Ever study phrenology?" asked Templeton, moving forward with Eves into -the circle. - -"Got it?" whispered Eves, eagerly. - -"Perhaps," returned Templeton. - -Nahum stared at his questioner. The villagers drew together, Runt -winked at Coggins the butcher. Mr. Noakes looked annoyed, and stiffened -his long, straight upper lip. - -"You said?" began Nahum. - -"I asked you if you had ever studied phrenology, the science of reading -the mind through the skull." - -"Well, I won't exactly say that I've been very deep into it, but----" - -"Allow me," interrupted Eves, who had taken his cue. "Having only just -returned to the village, you don't know my friend, Mr. Templeton, who -has gone very deeply into loads of things, I assure you. Mr.--I think -you said Nahum Noakes--you are really a splendid specimen for the -phrenologist, and a little examination of your bumps----" - -Nahum started back as Eves approached. - -"It is quite painless, I assure you," said Eves, soothingly. "Mr. -Templeton will only pass his hand gently over your head, and from the -configuration of the cranium he will read your character like an open -book." - -"I don't think I need even touch your head," said Templeton. "If you -will kindly just raise your hat-- - -"Give it a trial, Nahum," said Runt. At first puzzled, like the rest of -the villagers, he had now risen to the situation, and was ready to lend -his aid in its development. - -"See if the young gen'l'man be right," added Coggins. "We all know 'ee, -from a baby up'ard." - -Half suspicious, angry at the interruption of his discourse, and still -more at the sniggers of some of the younger members of the group, Nahum -seemed to think that to acquiesce was the shortest cut out of his -quandary. He took off his hat. Templeton stood in front of him, -inspecting his head with the gravity of a judge at a cattle show. Nahum -looked simply foolish. - -Templeton moved slowly round, and leant on the wall to get a back view -of Nahum's head. - -"Yes, it seems genuine," he said at last. "I don't find the bump of -pugnacity." - -"Which means that he doesn't mind what you do to him?" said Eves. - -"Just so. He's not a fighter." - -Nahum's face cleared; his father shed a gratified smile around the -group. - -"Supposing some one pulled his nose?" Eves went on. - -"He couldn't possibly resent it," replied Templeton. "It would be quite -safe." - -A loud guffaw from Runt brought a flush to Nahum's cheeks, and a scowl -to his brow. - -"I'd like to see any one try it," he muttered. - -Instantly Eves shot out his hand, seized the somewhat prominent member -in question, and pulled. Nahum sprang from the wall and hit out. Eves -nimbly evaded the blow, and for half a minute dodged up and down like -the matador at a bull-fight, pursued by the infuriate youth, who became -only the more enraged as his clenched fists beat upon empty air. Shouts -of laughter broke from the crowd. "Mind yer principles," cried the -smith. "Gie un a larruping!" bellowed Mr. Noakes. Templeton looked -worried. - -At this moment the constable elbowed his way into the arena. - -"Good now, gen'l'men," he said; "this be what the law do call a breach -of the peace, and I'm not so sure but 'tis time to take 'ee both into -custody for obstructing the police in the execution of his duty." He -took Nahum's arm. "Come, come, sonny. I be surprised, and you such a -man of peace as never was." - -"Ay, and he axed the gen'l'man to pull his nose, he did so," said the -smith. - -"True, he said he'd like to see any one try it," said Coggins. "The -gen'l'man only took him at his word--hee, hee!" - -Aware now of the pitfall into which he had fallen, Nahum broke away from -the constable, plunged through the crowd, and hurried away, followed -closely by his father. - -"A rare good randy, sir," said the smith to Eves, "but I hope Philemon -won't make 'ee pay for it. Howsomever, Nahum's tongue won't wag no -more, maybe, and that'll be for the good o' the nation." - -"Another ripping day, Bob," said Eves, as he walked home with Templeton. -"That idea of yours was splendid." - -"I was quite serious," said Templeton. - -"You always are, old man. But you don't mean to say you really meant to -feel the fellow's bumps?" - -"I did, till I funked the bear's grease." - -"And there really is a bump of pugnacity?" - -"Of course there is--combativeness, they call it. It's at the back, low -down. The fellow hadn't got a trace of it. I really think----" - -"You'll be the death of me, Bob. A fellow who lashed out like that not -combative? Why, you can see it in his face--bully's written there as -plain as a pikestaff. It's jolly lucky you've got me to work out your -ideas! Anyway, it was a good rag, well worth half-a-crown." - -"What do you mean?" - -"Well, I tipped old Haylock half-a-crown to barge in if he heard a row. -That leaves me four and elevenpence halfpenny." - - -A few days later Lieutenant Cradock, military representative at the -county tribunal, rode over on his motor-bicycle and had a short -interview with Constable Haylock. With the constable perched on the -carrier he went on to Trenchard's farm, and found Eves and Templeton -digging energetically along the border of a field. A conversation -ensued, freely punctuated with laughter, and the officer rode away. - -Next day a summons reached Nahum Noakes to attend an adjourned meeting -of the tribunal. The chairman announced that an incident reported by -the military representative hardly squared with the appellant's -professions, and Nahum Noakes, passed A1, was handed over to the -military authorities. - - - - *II* - - -Spring and summer had been very dry, and Farmer Trenchard's fields, -lying on a rocky upland, gave promise of but an indifferent harvest. -The growth was thin, the stalks were short and yellow, the husks lean. -The farmer had almost given up hope of his cereals, and his root crops -could only be saved if the drought was soon broken. - -On the morning following the affair of Nahum Noakes's bumps Mr. -Trenchard was walking along the edge of one of his fields, looking -disconsolately at the drooping upper-growth of the carrots. Eves and -Templeton were hoeing some little distance away. - -"Here's old Noakes," said Eves, suddenly. "Wonder if he's come to grouse -about yesterday?" - -Mr. Noakes, dressed as usual in his rusty frock-coat, but wearing a new -straw slouch hat--his old one had not survived its bath of soot--was -shambling up the field to meet the farmer. - -"Marnen, neighbour Trenchard," he said. - -"Marnen, Mr. Noakes," returned the farmer, with the air of timidity that -marked all his intercourse with his neighbour. The two men stood -together, Noakes smug and self-satisfied, Trenchard downcast and almost -humble. - -"It do seem you'd be the better for a drop of rain," Noakes went on. -"The ground be dust dry. Them there carrots baint no good." - -"True; I'm afeared 'twill be a bad year wi' me." - -"Well, we're in the hands of Them above," said Noakes, smiling and -rubbing his hands slowly together. "The old ancient men of Egypt had -their lean years and their years of plenty; we can't look for no -different in these here end o' the world times." - -"Ah, Mr. Noakes, I don't gainsay 'ee, but 'tud hev made all the -difference to me, a good moist season. I be afeard I shall have to axe -'ee----" - -"Not a word, neighbour. Sufficient unto the day, you know. Not but -what 'tis a misfortune to 'ee, but things may take a turn." - -He thrust his hands into his pockets and stood for a few moments -scanning the fields; then after a word or two of a general nature moved -away, without having appeared to notice the two boys. - -"Cut dead!" said Eves with a grin. "A good thing too; I loathe the -fellow. Poor old Trenchard will be wretched all the rest of the day. I -wonder why he always looks so hang-dog when Noakes is about? He -couldn't look worse if Noakes was his landlord and he couldn't pay the -rent. And upon my word, Noakes has cheek enough for two. I saw him -prodding the cattle the other day as if he owned 'em, or would like to. -What do you think about it?" - -"Eh? about Noakes? I wasn't thinking of him," said Templeton. "I was -wondering whether we couldn't do something to help save the old man's -crops." - -"Well, old chap, if you can invent rain----" - -"Don't be an ass. Of course I can't. But I don't see why we shouldn't -irrigate, as they do in India." - -"We haven't got an Indus, and the river down there is too far away, and -below this level. You can't make water run up-hill." - -"But there's the brook just at the edge of the field, behind that ridge. -All we've to do is to divert it." - -"My good man, it's miles below the top of the ridge. Besides, there's -not much water at the best." - -"There's enough. We should have to build a dam, of course. Then the -water would collect till it rose to the height of the ridge and flowed -over, and we could carry it over the fields through small drains. You -see, the stream runs straight to the sea; there are no fishing rights to -consider, and it's not used for mills or anything of that sort." - -"A jolly back-aching job, digging drains and what not. No chance of a -rag. Still, the idea's good enough, and I'd like to see old Trenchard -more cheerful. You had better see what he says about it." - -The farmer was so much preoccupied with his gloomy thoughts that he -scarcely appreciated at first the nature of the service which Templeton -offered to render. This, as Eves pointed out afterwards, was partly due -to Templeton's manner of broaching the subject. - -"Your jaw about irrigation and the Punjab was enough to put him off it," -said Eves, who was nothing if not frank. "Of course, the old countryman -didn't understand; he understood right enough when I chipped in. There's -nothing like what old Dicky Bird, when you do a rotten construe, calls -_sancta simplicitas_." - -Between them they managed to explain the idea to Mr. Trenchard, and to -win his assent. Indeed, the chance of saving his crops had a magical -effect on his spirits. - -"It do mean a mighty deal to me," he said; "more'n you've any right -notion of. I wish 'ee success, that I do." - -They started work on the following morning. From the rocky banks of the -stream they rolled down a number of stones and boulders and piled them -in the channel to the height of the ridge, forming two adjacent sides of -a square. Then up stream they cut a quantity of brushwood, which, being -set afloat, was carried by the water against the piled-up stones. This -occupied them the whole day, and they left for the next the final -operation--the digging of earth to stop up the interstices through which -the water still flowed away, and the carrying of it in wheelbarrows to -its dumping places. - -It was while they were digging that Lieutenant Cradock arrived to -interrogate them about the conscientious objections of Nahum Noakes. -About half an hour after his departure Nahum's father appeared on the -scene, breathless from hurrying up the hill from the village. He had -pumped Constable Haylock, who was a simple soul, and had learnt enough -about the recent interview to feel a gnawing anxiety as to the fate of -his beloved Nahum. He was hatless, and wore his apron, with which he -wiped the shining dew from his face as he stood watching the diggers. - -"Marnen, gen'l'men," he said, presently, in the tone of one who would be -a friend. "'Tis warm work 'ee be at, surely." - -"A warm day, Mr. Noakes," said Templeton, resting on his spade. Eves -went on digging. - -"Ay, sure, 'tis warm for the time o' year, so 'tis. Vallyble work; if -there be one thing I do admire, 'tis to see young gen'l'men go forth -unto their labour until the evening, as the Book says--earning their -bread with the sweat of their brow. Ah, 'tis a true word." - -Templeton was too modest to acknowledge this compliment. Eves went on -digging. Mr. Noakes hemmed a little, and stroked his beard. - -"Purticler such young gen'l'men as you be," he went on, "as hev gone -deep into book learning and gives yer nights and days to high matters. -That there finology, now; that be a very deep subjeck--very deep indeed; -wonderful, I call it, to read into the heart through the head. Nobody -'ud never hev thought 'twere possible. And so correck, too; my boy -Nahum, as peaceful as a lamb--you was right about that there bump, sir." - -"He certainly hasn't got the bump of combativeness," said Templeton; -"but----" - -"Ah, yes, to be sure; he was a trifle overtaken with yer friend's joke, -as any young feller might be; but I told un 'twas just a bit o' juvenile -high spirits, and so he oughter hev took it. 'Let not the sun go down -upon yer wrath,' says I, and bless 'ee, he smiled like a cherub next -day, he did. That there bump be a good size on soldiers' heads, now? I -warrant that young officer man as I seed down in village has a big un." - -"I really didn't think to look, Mr. Noakes," said Templeton, patiently. - -"Only think o' that, now, and I felt in my innards he'd come up along -a-purpose. You didn't say nought o' finology, then?" - -"Well, it was mentioned--just mentioned." - -"And Mr. Templeton assured Lieutenant Cradock that your son hadn't the -slightest prominence in that part of the skull," Eves broke in. "In -fact, it's the other way about." - -"Wonderful ways o' Providence!" said Mr. Noakes, rubbing his hands -together and smiling happily. - -"But I'm bound to say----" Templeton began. - -"Come on, Bob; shovel in, or we'll never get done," Eves interrupted. -"There's enough stuff dug; let's cart it down. We're trying an -experiment in irrigation, Mr. Noakes." - -"Ah! irrigation. It needs a dry soil, to be sure; it'll grow well -here--very well indeed." - -Eves smothered a laugh, and let Templeton explain. The explanation, -strangely enough, brought a shadow upon Mr. Noakes's face. It darkened -as he watched the dumping of the earth upon the dam. He was silent; his -mouth hardened; and after a few more minutes he shambled away. - -"I'm afraid we've given him a wrong impression," said Templeton, -anxiously. - -"Well, he shouldn't be sly. Besides, if he's ass enough to think -'finology' will go down with the tribunal, that's his look-out." - -They worked hard through the rest of the day, and by tea-time the water -had begun to trickle over the ridge in many little rills. It seemed, -indeed, that there would be no necessity to dig the channels of which -Templeton had spoken, the slope of the ground and the natural fan-like -spreading of the streams promising that in due time the whole field -would be thoroughly watered. Tired, but well pleased with the success -of their experiment, they returned to the farmhouse. - -Mr. Trenchard had been absent all the afternoon. At tea they told him -what they had done, and he cheerfully assented to their suggestion that -he should go with them to the ridge and see for himself their irrigation -works. - -It was dusk when they started. The ridge was at an outlying part of the -farm, and as they strolled across the intervening fields Eves suddenly -exclaimed: - -"What's that?" - -Some hundreds of yards ahead, a whitish object, not distinguishable in -the dusk, was moving apparently along the top of the ridge. In a few -seconds it disappeared. - -"That was one of they rabbits after my turmuts, I reckon," said the -farmer. "Terrible mischeevious little mortals they be." - -"I say, Bob," cried Eves, "we might have a rabbit hunt one of these -days." - -"We've a lot of other things on hand," said Templeton, dubiously. "You -see, there's the tar entanglement, and----" - -"There it is again," said Eves, pointing towards a hedge some distance -to the left beyond the ridge. "Rabbits don't live in hedges, do they, -Mr. Trenchard?" - -"Not as a general rule," replied the farmer, cautiously; "but there's no -saying what they'll be doing. He's gone again; we've frighted him -away." - -"Well, here you see what we've done," said Templeton. "The dam there -holds back the stream, the water is forced to rise, and it's now finding -its way over the ridge in many little rivulets which I daresay by -to-morrow morning will have flowed right over the field." - -"Well to be sure!" said Mr. Trenchard. "Now that's what I call a -downright clever bit of inventing. And to think that there stream hev -been a-running along there all the days of my life, and I never seed no -use for un! 'Twill be the saving of my roots, young gen'l'men, and I'm -much beholden to 'ee." - -It was as though a load had been lifted from the old man's mind. He was -more cheerful that night than his guests had yet seen him, and was -easily persuaded to join them and his wife in a rubber of whist. - -Early hours were the rule at the farm. By nine everybody was in bed but -the two strangers. They were always the last to retire. About ten they -had just undressed. It was a hot, sultry night; the bedroom, low-pitched -and heavily raftered, was stuffy; and Eves, after blowing out the -candle, pulled up the blind and leant out of the window to get a breath -of what air there was. The sky was slightly misty, and the moon, in its -last quarter, threw a subdued radiance upon the country-side. - -"By George!" exclaimed Eves, suddenly; "there's that white thing again." - -"What does it matter?" said Templeton, who was getting into bed. "We've -got to be up early; come on." - -"Come and look here, you owl. That's no rabbit. It's bobbing up and -down, just where the dam is. I'll be shot if I don't believe some one's -interfering with it." - -This suggestion brought Templeton to the window at once. Side by side -they gazed out towards the ridge. - -"This is serious," said Templeton. "If it really is any one interfering -with our work----" - -"We'll nip him in the bud. Come on; don't wait to dress; it's quite -warm. Get into your slippers. We'll go out of the back door without -waking the Trenchards and investigate." - -Two minutes later they were stealing along under cover of the hedge that -skirted the field to be irrigated. Arriving at the ridge some distance -above the dam they turned to the left, and bending double crept towards -the scene of their toil. There, rising erect, they saw Mr. Noakes up to -his thighs in the stream, hard at work pulling away stones and earth -from the dam. - -The water was already gurgling through. - -"Hi there! What the dickens are you up to?" Templeton cried. - -The man turned with a start, and faced them. He appeared to be -undecided what to do. - -"What are you about?" repeated Templeton, indignantly. "What right have -you to destroy our dam?" - -"What right!" said the man, indignant in his turn. He was still in the -water, and, leaning back against the dam, he faced the lads in the misty -moonlight. "What right hev you two young fellers, strangers in the -parish, to play yer mischeevious pranks here? 'Tis against the law to -interfere wi' the waterways o' the nation, and the Polstead folk hev -their rights, and they'll stick to 'em. Ay, and I hev my rights, too, -and I'm a known man in the parish. This here stream purvides me wi' -washing water, and to-morrow's washing day. You dam up my water; I -can't wash; that's where the right do come in." - -"My dear sir," said Eves, gravely, "however much you want washing, and -however much it is to the interest of your neighbours that you should -wash, the interests of our food supply, you must admit as a patriotic -man, are more important. Wash by all means--to-morrow, when the dam, -having done its work, will no doubt be removed. For my part, I have a -distinct bias in favour of cleanliness. If a man can't be decent in -other things, let him at least be clean. There was young Barker, now, a -wretched little scug who wore his hair long, and always had a high-water -mark round his neck. My friend Templeton, of whose ingenuity you have -seen proofs, had an excellent invention for an automatic hair-cutter. -But I am wandering from the point, which was, in a word, how to be happy -though clean----" - -Eves was becoming breathless. He wondered whether he could hold out. -Templeton gazed at him with astonishment; as for Mr. Noakes, he looked -angry, puzzled, utterly at sea. Once or twice during Eves's oratorical -performance he opened his mouth to speak, but Eves fixed him with his -eyes, and held up a warning hand, and overwhelmed him with his -volubility. - -"Yes, how to be happy though clean," Eves went on; "there's a text for -you. Cleanliness is an acquired taste, like smoking. The mewling infant, -with soapsuds in his eyes, rages like the heathen. The schoolboy, -panting from his first immersion--my hat!" - -The expected had happened. During Eves's harangue, the water had been -eating away the pile of soil and rubbish which had been loosened by Mr. -Noakes's exertions. Without warning, the dam against which the man was -leaning gave way. He fell backward; there was a swirl and a flurry, and -Mr. Noakes, carried off his feet by the rush of water, was rolled down -stream. His new soft straw hat, which had betrayed him, floated on -ahead. - -Templeton sprang over the ridge and hastened to Mr. Noakes's assistance. -For the moment Eves was incapacitated by laughter. Fortunately the -stream was not deep, and after the first spate it flowed on with less -turbulence. Templeton gripped the unhappy man by the collar, and hauled -him up after he had been tumbled a few yards. Breathless, he stood a -pitiable object in his frock-coat and baggy trousers, his lank hair -shedding cascades. - -[Illustration: "TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY THE COLLAR, AND -HAULED HIM UP."] - -"A most unfortunate accident," said Templeton. "You see, by removing -some of the stones----" - -"Mr. Noakes, your hat, I believe," interposed Eves, handing him the -sodden, shapeless object which he had retrieved from the stream. Mr. -Noakes snatched it from him, turned away, and started downhill. Never a -word had he said; but there was a world of malevolence in his eye. - -"We had better get back and dress," said Templeton. - -"What on earth for?" - -"Well, we can hardly repair the dam in our pyjamas." - -Eves laughed. - -"You're a priceless old fathead," he said. "Repairs must wait till the -morning. I can never do any work after a rag." - -"A rag! But it was a pure accident, due to the idiot's own -meddlesomeness." - -"Most true; but it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't kept his attention -fixed by the longest spell of spouting I ever did in my life. It was a -ripping rag, old man, and now we'll toddle back to bed. The one thing -that beats me is, what's his motive? He'd hardly take the trouble to -smash our dam just to get even with us, would he? That's a kid's trick. -There's something very fishy about old Noakes." - - - - *III* - - -Templeton had not settled which among his many ideas to work at, when -accident launched his imagination upon a new flight. - -One day the village was stirred to unusual excitement. Two items of -local news, following quickly one upon the other, gave the folk so much -matter for gossip that the amount of work they did was reduced fifty per -cent. The first was that Nahum Noakes's final appeal had failed; the -second, that young Wilfred Banks, the son of Squire Banks, one of the -local magnates, had been seriously injured by the fall of an aeroplane. - -Mrs. Trenchard, having been "there and back," was full of the story. - -"Ay me, to think of a nice pleasant young gentleman like Mr. Wilfred -lying at death's door through one o' they dratted airyplanes! That -venturesome he always was, as a little small chiel. 'Tis against Nature -to try to fly like the birds, that's what I say, and what can you -expect? The world do be turning topsy-turvy, and all through they -Germans." - -That night, just as Eves had turned over to sleep, he was roused by a -call from Templeton in his companion bed. - -"What is it?" he murmured, drowsily. - -"I've got an idea," was the reply. - -"Well, sleep on it, old man." - -"You know very well that I can't get a wink till I see daylight." - -"Then you've got about five hours. Good night!" - -"Of course I meant a light on the problem; you're so literal. You see, -the evolution of a perfectly stable machine----" - -Eves interrupted with a groan. - -"I suppose I must be a martyr," he said, "but I wish you'd arrange for -your ideas to come in the morning. Fire away! I'll keep awake if I -can, but cut it short." - -"You're a good sort, Tom. Really I'd like to know what you think of it. -You see, an aeroplane ought to balance itself automatically, and I've -got an idea for automatically adjusting the surfaces of the planes so -that the machine will instantly adapt itself to gusts of wind, -side-slips, and so on." - -"Jolly good idea! Good night." - -"Hold hard. You haven't heard the idea yet. My arrangement would be -electric. Beyond the extremities of the frames I'd have a light -framework on which an extension of the plane could be pushed out by a -steel rod actuated by a small electric motor." - -"I can go to sleep at once, then, because that won't work. It means -more weight." - -"No, no; we'll argue it out. Weight's becoming less and less important -every day. Look at the weight of bombs an aeroplane can now lift. -Anyhow, the point is that the motor would be controlled by the movement -of the plane. A sphere moving in a horizontal channel would be affected -by the slightest inclination of the plane. I'd arrange by a series of -electrical contacts----" - -"How?" - -"I haven't worked out all the details yet; how could I? But the effect -would be that the farther the sphere moved the farther the rod would -push out the extension of the plane on the side required. And when the -aeroplane had righted itself, the sphere would return to neutral." - -"My sleepy brain is fairly dazed with your rods and spheres and the -rest. Hang all that! The question is, would the extension idea work? -Would the lengthening of the planes meet the case?" - -"Of course it would. It's easily proved. All you want is a glider." - -"Well, old man, the idea's ripping, and being a reasonable chap, you'll -agree that you've got to go one step at a time. I don't say you're -wrong, but treat me as a bit of a sceptic, who wants everything proved." - -"Very well; I'm not unreasonable. We'll set to work and make a glider; -then you'll see." - -"Righto! Feel more easy now? Hope you won't wake in the night." - -Templeton was just dozing off when from Eves there came: - -"I say, Bob." - -"What?" - -"You'll have to cut into your tenner at last. Bye-bye!" - - -During the next week they did very little "work on the land." Farmer -Trenchard, impressed as usual by Templeton's earnestness, allowed them -as much leave as they wanted, and they devoted themselves during the -hours of daylight to the manufacture of a glider. A journey to the -nearest town and the cashing of the £10 note furnished them with the -wood and the textile fabric they needed, and Templeton had sufficient -skill in carpentry to fashion two wings, light enough for his purpose, -yet strong enough to sustain him. His funds would not run to an -electric motor, but he thought that, for his first experiments, the -lengthening rod might be actuated by stout cords running over pulleys. - -The contrivance was finished after a week's hard work. Tested in the -farmyard, the lengthening apparatus worked smoothly; it only remained to -try it in the air. Templeton had already marked a suitable spot for the -trial--a sloping field some little distance from the farm, too steep for -cultivation, and occupied usually by cattle fattening for Coggins, the -butcher. It was enclosed by a thick hedge except at the gate, and that -was kept locked, and blocked with brushwood. - -"I think perhaps we had better ask Coggins's leave to use his field," -suggested Templeton. - -"Don't do anything of the sort," replied Eves. "We don't want a crowd -of yokels looking on. If the thing goes all right, you can invite the -village to an exhibition." - -The morning chosen for the trial was warm and still. No danger from -gusts of wind was to be anticipated. Mounting the glider on two wheels -from the old tricycle, patched up for the occasion, they wheeled it up -to the field and managed with some difficulty to hoist it over the gate, -after having cleared a way through the obstructing brushwood. At the far -end a few cattle were peacefully grazing. The well-cropped hill was a -smooth inclined plane of springy turf. - -They carried the machine to the top. - -"I bag first go," said Eves. - -"No, I can't agree to that," said Templeton. "You see, though I'm pretty -sure it will work all right, there's bound to be a certain risk, and as -it's my idea I ought to test it." - -"That's no reason at all. Cooks never eat their own cake. Besides, if -there is an accident, much better it should happen to me than you. -_I'm_ not an inventor." - -"I still maintain----" - -"Oh, don't let's waste time. Let's toss for it. Heads me, tails you. -A use for my half-penny at last. Here goes." - -He spun the coin. - -"Heads! There you are. Now fasten the straps on my shoulders, and give -me a gentle shove off." - -The glider was not fastened to the wheels, Templeton's theory being -that, having been started on them at the top of the hill, it would -almost at once gain "lift" from the air. So it proved. After a few -yards it rose slightly; a little farther on it was quite clear of the -ground, and Eves, with legs bent and arms stretched out on the wings, -enjoyed for a few brief seconds the exhilaration of aerial flight. Then, -however, it began to tilt. Mindful of Templeton's careful instructions -and the preliminary test in the farmyard, Eves tugged at the appointed -rope, which should have thrown out an extension of the wing, and, -according to Templeton's theory, have restored the balance. Unhappily -the mechanism that had worked so smoothly before now proved treacherous. -The machine swerved to the left, and crashed into a bramble-bush in the -hedge at the foot of the hill. - -Templeton rushed down in great agitation, sprang into the hedge -regardless of scratches, unloosed the straps, and hauled Eves out. - -"I say, you're not hurt, old man?" he asked, anxiously. - -"I'm pretty well pricked, confound the thing!" said Eves. "The wretched -cord jammed." - -"But the theory's all right." - -"Hang the theory! Look here, old man-- Hullo, here's old Noakes." - -Noakes, accompanied by a thick-set countryman in corduroys and leggings, -had come over the crest of the hill just as the accident occurred, and -run down almost on Templeton's heels. - -"I've cotched 'ee," he cried, panting. "You're my witness, Ted Smail. -Cotched in the act, the mischeevious young vipers. I'll have the law of -un." - -[Illustration: "'I'VE COTCHED 'EE,' HE CRIED."] - -"My dear sir, I don't think it has anything to do with you," said -Templeton. "My friend, as you see----" - -"Your friend, and you too, be a-trespassing on my field and a-ruining my -property, and the law'll have something to say about that." - -"Ruined a bramble-bush!" said Templeton. - -"And the bush has ruined my clothes," Eves added. - -"That there's my hedge, and you've been and knocked a hole in it, -and----" - -At this moment his tirade was suddenly interrupted by a bellow behind -him. A bull, excited by the vagaries of the glider, had trotted up from -the far end of the field to investigate, and further roused, probably, -by Noakes's loud tones and waving arms, threw down its head and charged. -The men scattered. Eves and Templeton made for the gate and vaulted -over. Noakes ran one way, his friend another. The bull plunged -straight at the glider, sticking in the hedge, and smashed it to -splinters. Then it dashed after Noakes, who, seeing no other outlet, -flung himself into the ditch below the hedge and scrambled through the -tangled lower branches only just in time to escape the animal's horns. - -"We must offer to pay Noakes for the damage," said Templeton. - -"Rot! We haven't done tuppence-ha'-penny worth; and how do we know it's -his field?" - -"I'm sure he wouldn't say so if it wasn't, and there's certainly a hole -in the hedge. I'll just see what he says." - -Noakes, hatless, dishevelled, and scratched, was coming towards them. - -"I'm willing to pay any reasonable sum for damages, Mr. Noakes," said -Templeton. - -"Are ye?" replied the man with a grin. "I be main glad to hear it. You -shall have the bill, don't 'ee make no mistake about that. But I won't -take no money 'cept by judge and jury." - -He passed on, and stood at the gate until his friend should find it -convenient to join him. - -Two days later Constable Haylock came to the farm, and, with an -apologetic air, handed to Eves and Templeton each a blue document, -summoning them to appear at the justice court to answer a plaint of -trespass and damage on the part of Philemon Noakes. - -"This is serious," said Templeton. "You see, we've no defence. We did -break his hedge and disturb his tenant's cattle, as he says. I wonder -what the penalty is?" - -"A fine of £5, old man, I expect," said Eves, cheerfully. "Don't you -worry; I did the damage, and I can't pay." - -"I'm sure _I_ can't. That glider cost £7 16*s.* 4*d*. I haven't half -£5." - -"Well, they'll give us seven days C.B., or whatever they call it, and -you'll have to write to Aunt Caroline to bail us out. Jolly good idea! -We'll be able to give her tips in food economy after a week of prison -fare." - -"It's no joking matter. She'll be upset; no Templeton of our family has -ever been in prison." - -"You don't say so! You'll make a record, then. Splendid!" - - -On the appointed day they appeared before the justice. - -"'Tis Squire Banks's day," whispered Haylock as they passed him at the -door. "He baint such a hanging judge, so to speak it, as Sir Timothy." - -Noakes gave his evidence, Smail corroborated it, and Squire Banks asked -the culprits what they had to say in their defence. - -"It was like this, sir," began Eves, before Templeton could start; "my -friend Templeton devotes a lot of time to trying experiments--working -out ideas for useful inventions. When he heard of that accident to a -flying man the other day"--the old gentleman looked interested--"he kept -me awake at night talking over an idea for making an aeroplane -automatically safe. I confess I was sceptical, and it's my fault all -this happened, because it was to prove his theory to me that he made a -glider; it cost him over £7, sir; and we couldn't find a better place to -try it on than that hilly field. I'm afraid I was clumsy; at any rate, -the thing came to grief----" - -"But the principle of it is quite sound," Templeton put in. - -"But, of course, you're not concerned with principles here, sir, but -only with law," Eves went on. "We didn't know the field belonged to Mr. -Noakes, or I assure you we wouldn't have touched it with a pole, and as -to damage, my friend offered to pay any reasonable sum." - -"But didn't I understand that you caused the damage?" the squire -interposed, his eyes twinkling. "That being the case, ought not the -offer to pay have come from you?" - -"I'm afraid it ought, sir; but--well, I've only got four and elevenpence -halfpenny." - -There were smiles in the court at this ingenuous confession. - -"Well, Mr. Templeton offered to pay," the squire went on. "What then?" - -"Mr. Noakes wouldn't hear of it, sir," Eves answered. - -"Is that so, Noakes?" - -Noakes had to confess that it was. - -"Come, now, Noakes, brambles grow very fast, and any hedger will close -the gap for eightpence. It's a trumpery matter. You young fellows can -pay half-a-crown between you for the damage, and Noakes must pay his own -costs; it's an unreasonable action. Call the next case." - -"Jolly old trump!" said Eves as they went out. "And I'm jolly glad the -old boy's son is getting better." - -On reaching the farm, Templeton found awaiting him a letter from his -aunt, written in reply to one he had sent her more than a week before. -She explained the long delay by the fact that the letter had pursued her -through three counties. "I am delighted to hear," she wrote, "that you -have not yet spent _any_ of the money I sent you. It shows great -_strength of character_. You will be pleased to hear that my lectures -are a _great success_. I expect to reach Polstead in about ten days, -and I shall be so glad if you will do a little thing to prepare my way. -My lectures are _thoroughly practical_; it is useless to talk about -economical foods if the dear people cannot procure them. I want you to -see Mr. Philemon Noakes for me; he is the _principal tradesman_ in the -village; and ask him if he will _very kindly_ lay in a stock of certain -_cheap_ articles of which I will send you a list. A personal interview -is so much more satisfactory than a formal letter, and you will find Mr. -Noakes a _very civil and obliging person_." - -"My hat!" cried Eves, laughing. "What a rag! I'll come with you, old -man." - -Templeton looked worried. - - - - - *A GAS ATTACK* - - - - *I* - - -Mr. Noakes made no further attempt to interfere with the irrigation of -Farmer Trenchard's fields. The two lads repaired the dam, gave the -parched ground a thorough soaking for two days and nights, then -demolished the simple structure and allowed the stream to pursue its -usual course. - -Templeton, meanwhile, had been anxiously weighing the claims of the -other ideas that jostled in his brain. He wanted to perfect his -automatic hair-cutter; to experiment with what he called, in advance, a -"levitator"--a contrivance for enabling an aeroplane to rise more -rapidly; to test his notion of a tar entanglement, and various other -sound schemes. Unfortunately the incomplete hair-cutter had been -confiscated by his head master, and it would take weeks to construct a -new one. The levitator was out of the question at present, for it would -cost a good deal more than the two pounds odd which remained out of his -aunt's gift. Several ideas were unworkable for the same reason, and he -had almost resolved on the tar entanglement when, with that suddenness -to which inventors are accustomed, a quite new idea shot into his mind. - -He had been reading, in a war correspondent's dispatch, about the star -shells and Verey lights which were used at night to throw a fitful -illumination upon the hostile lines. Eves noticed that as he cleaned -his teeth before going to bed he made frequent pauses, holding the -tooth-brush motionless for some moments at a time. - -"What's up, old man?" asked Eves, who was already in bed. "Got -toothache?" - -"No; I was thinking," replied Templeton, rubbing again. "You see----" - -"But I can't hear through the bristles. Hurry up, or I shall be asleep." - -Templeton finished his toilet, blew out the light, and got into bed, -sitting up and clasping his knees. - -"Those flash-lights, you know--they don't last long enough. What our -fellows want is some continuous illumination." - -"What about the moon?" - -"You know perfectly well the moon doesn't shine for half the month." - -"I thought perhaps you'd invented an artificial moon. But expound, old -bird." - -"Well, you know the prevailing wind in winter is from the west. Why -shouldn't our men start relays of light balloons----" - -"Balloons always are light." - -"I mean light-giving balloons. They'd float over the German lines and -illuminate their whole positions with a steady continuous light." - -"The Huns would shoot 'em down." - -"Not easily, for they'd be dark." - -"Light and dark at the same time! Go on, Bobby; I'm sure you can prove -black's white." - -"If you wouldn't interrupt, you'd see. The illuminant would be attached -to the balloon by a long cord, and there'd be a shade like a lampshade -over it, so that the balloon itself would be in darkness. It's easy -enough to try." - -"How?" - -"All you want is a dozen toy balloons, a few cubic feet of hydrogen, a -slow match, and a little magnesium wire. There you have it on a small -scale. Fill the balloons with hydrogen, tie 'em together, fasten a slow -match and a bit of wire to each, light the match, and send the whole -caboodle up." - -"But magnesium wire only burns for a second or two." - -"You really are an ass, Tom. We'd only use magnesium wire for our -experiment; there are heaps of things that could be used with big -balloons at the front." - -"You mean to try it, then?" - -"Of course. Old Noakes has some toy balloons." - -"But what about the hydrogen? It doesn't smell, does it?" - -"No. Why?" - -"Only that I forget all my chemistry except the stinks. How do you make -it?" - -"By the action of an acid on a metal. Don't you remember Zn + H2SO4 = -ZnSO4 + H2? Iron will do as well." - -"That's easy enough, then. But you'll want retorts, wash bottles, -pneumatic troughs, and goodness knows what else. Bang goes the rest of -your cash, Bob." - -"Nonsense! Mother Trenchard has some old pickle bottles, and we're not -out to make a specially pure gas. All we'll have to buy will be a -little acid, a few feet of glass tubing, and a rubber cork or two. Four -or five shillings will buy the lot. We shall have to go to Weymouth for -them." - -"Righto! That's a day off to-morrow." - -The morning post brought a letter from Aunt Caroline enclosing a list of -foods which she wished Mr. Noakes to stock. Templeton read it solemnly, -and handed it to Eves. - -"I say, Mrs. Trenchard, what do you think of this?" cried Eves. "Things -Bob's aunt is going to lecture about, you know. Haricot beans----" - -"They want a deal of cooking, Mr. Eves," said Mrs. Trenchard. "You must -soak 'em overnight, and boil 'em hours and hours. I have my doubts -whether the village folk can spare the time." - -"Well, here's dried peas." - -"Do 'ee think the women 'll use 'em dried when the shucks are full of -green? What can Miss Caroline be thinking of?" - -"Tinned eggs, then." - -"Lawk-a-mussy, I was silly enough to buy one o' they tins once, and when -I opened it--there now, never in my life did I come so near fainting -afore, and me not a fainting sort, the smell was so terrible. If that -be the kind of thing Miss Caroline's cook do give her, 'tis time I was -back in my old place, that it be." - -Eves laughed as he handed the list back to Templeton. - -"There are a dozen more things," he said; "if they're all as good, old -man, Aunt Caroline will get a shock when she's heckled." - -"Bless 'ee, sir, and who'll be so bold?" said Mrs. Trenchard. "Folks -'ll listen, ay sure, as meek as lambs; but buy them things--never in the -world." - -"Well, Bob, you must take the list to Noakes. You must do something for -your tenner. Tell you what: I'll go to Weymouth for the chemicals and -things. By the time I'm back you'll have seen Noakes and got the -bottles and other things ready. Noakes wouldn't serve me, I'm sure." - -So it was arranged. Eves hurried through his breakfast and just caught -the carrier's cart that conveyed passengers to the junction. Templeton -finished leisurely, and then, not much liking his job, walked down to -the village to interview Noakes. As he came to the shop door he heard -Noakes addressing a customer. - -"No, I tell 'ee, you can't have no sugar without you buy tea and bacon." - -"But 'twas only the day afore yesterday I bought my quarter of tea, -sir," said a woman's voice, plaintively; "and I must have sugar to stew -my plums for the children's dinner." - -"Bain't no good you standing there whining about yer children. No sugar -without t'other things; that's my last word to 'ee." - -"Excuse me," said Templeton, entering the shop. "Is there a new order -from the Food Controller? If I'm not mistaken, there have been several -prosecutions lately of----" - -"Now look 'ee here," cried Noakes, angrily, "I bain't a-going to stand -no more nonsense from you. Who be you, I'd like to know, coming and -ordering me about in my own shop?" - -"Far from it, Mr. Noakes. I only wished to give you a hint that your -customer is entitled to buy sugar without any conditions, and it's silly -to put yourself in the wrong." - -Noakes glowered and blustered, but previous experience of Templeton's -determination had taught him a lesson, and ultimately he served the -woman with a half-pound of sugar. - -"I want half a dozen of those toy balloons," said Templeton. - -"They bain't for sale," growled Noakes. - -"Indeed! You hang them up as ornaments, I suppose. Perhaps you'll sell -me some if I buy some sugar, say." - -"Get out of my shop," cried Noakes, furiously. "I tell 'ee I won't -serve 'ee, and I won't have you imperent young fellers in my shop at -all, so now you know it." - -Templeton shrugged his shoulders. Taking his aunt's letter from his -pocket, he opened it, and said: - -"There must be a mistake. My aunt says that the principal tradesman is -a very civil and obliging person. You know her--Miss Caroline -Templeton. She is coming down in a few days to lecture on food economy, -and wants you to lay in a stock of various things of which I have a -list. But perhaps she is referring to somebody else, and it's no good -bothering you." - -At the mention of Miss Templeton's name an uneasy look settled upon -Noakes's face. He watched Templeton replace the letter in his pocket, -then said hesitatingly, in a milder tone: - -"When be the lady coming, sir?" - -"In ten days or so, and as the letter was written some days ago, it may -be under a week from now." - -The look of uneasiness gave way to a smile. Noakes turned his back, and -Templeton, resolving to have nothing more to do with the man, left the -shop. - - - - *II* - - -Thinking it probable that he might get some balloons at the nearest -village about five miles away, Templeton set off to walk there. Eves -would not be back till the afternoon; there was plenty of time. As he -left the shop he met the man Smail, who had been in Noakes's company on -the day of the experiment with the glider. The man leered at him and -passed on. - -When Templeton, unsuccessful in his quest, returned to the farm at -midday, he found Mrs. Trenchard in a state of great agitation. - -"Oh, Mr. Templeton," she cried, bursting into tears, "to think I've -lived to see this day!" - -"Why, what's the matter, Mrs. Trenchard?" he asked. - -"He's there, sir," she nodded towards her husband's little den, "and -'tis ruin to us, and we'll have to go to work'us, and my poor Joe----" - -"Come, Mrs. Trenchard, don't be upset. Just tell me all about it. -Nothing has happened to Mr. Trenchard, I hope?" - -"Only a broken heart, sir. Ah! if he'd only telled me afore! We've had -bad times, as you know, sir; 'twas worse than I knew, and my poor man -kep' it all to himself, so's not to worrit me. He went and borrowed -money of Mr. Noakes, sir, to tide him over harvest. I don't know the -rights of it; 'tis too much for my poor head; but by what I can make of -it Trenchard signed a paper to say as if he didn't pay back the money by -a certain time the farm 'ud belong to Mr. Noakes, and a week afore the -time Mr. Noakes could put a man in to see as we didn't rob him. And -he's in now, sir, in there--'tis Ted Smail, a rascal of a man as knocks -his poor wife about. And what I'll do, Them above only knows." - -"Can't Mr. Trenchard turn him out?" asked Templeton. - -"'Tis the law, sir; Trenchard owned it all, poor man, and axed my -pardon, he did, for bringing it on me. Ah! if he'd only telled me -afore! A week's such a little time to get all that money. When he -telled me, wi' tears in his eyes, I said, 'Now just you run up along to -Lunnon and see your brother, as keeps a public-house and is rolling in -money. He'll help 'ee, and I'll work myself to skin and bone to pay him -back.' And he'd just time to catch the train at the junction, and if -his brother be hard, as some be, there's nothing but the work'us for -us." - -"Cheer up, Mrs. Trenchard. Let's hope for the best. I'll talk it over -with Eves when he gets back, and we'll see what can be done." - -"Thank 'ee kindly, sir, but don't 'ee go against the law. The law be a -terrible creature." - -In the afternoon Eves returned with his purchases. - -"There you are, old man," he cried, "acid, stoppers, and tubing. You've -got the balloons?" - -"No. I say, Tom, this experiment's off for the time; things here are in -a deuce of a mess." - -He gave an outline of the domestic troubles. - -"Whew!" Eves whistled. "So that's old Noakes's game. That throws a -flood of light on the old villain's doings. But we'll dish him yet. -The first thing is to get this fellow Smail out of the place. That will -make the old woman feel a little easier." - -"I don't see how we can do that. Trenchard signed the deed or whatever -it's called, and you may be sure that Noakes kept on the right side of -the law." - -"Well, let's go and see." - -They opened the door of the farmer's little room, and beheld Smail lying -on his back on the sofa placidly smoking a very rank tobacco. On a chair -was a basket of provisions and several bottles of beer. - -"I say, my man," said Eves, "your boots are rather dirty, you know." - -Smail closed one eye and said nothing. - -"Mrs. Trenchard doesn't like it, you know," Eves went on. "Don't you -think you'd better go?" - -The man was still silent. Eves mutely consulted Templeton. Smail was a -big, thick-set fellow; a physical struggle with him might end in -disaster. - -"Look here, how much do you want to go?" asked Eves. ("I've got some -change," he whispered to Templeton.) - -Then the man spoke. Winking and waving his pipe, he declared, hoarsely: - -"Here I be, and here I bide." - -"We'll give you ten shillings," said Eves. - -"Here I be, and here I bide." - -"Oh, all right, bide away," said Eves, taking Templeton by the arm. -"Rotten tobacco, ain't it, Bob?" - -They returned to the other room and sat down. - -"We can't starve him out," said Eves. "The beggar's got grub enough for -a week." - -"If we could only entice him out it would be all right," said Templeton, -"because I believe I've read somewhere that a bailiff or whatever you -call him can't legally force his way into a house." - -"Well, only beer would entice that sort of bounder, and he's got plenty -of that. He's a big hulk, but we _might_ manage to chuck him out." - -"Dangerous that. Even if we succeeded, we might find ourselves in court -again." - -Eves stuck out his legs and pondered. Suddenly he sat up straight. - -"By Jove, I've got it!" he cried. "We'll stink him out." - -"How do you mean? It would have to be a powerful stink to upset a -fellow who can smoke that tobacco." - -"Of course; and I haven't wasted my time in the lab, old man. I never -took any interest in chemistry till I learnt how to make stinks. What -about H2S? The very thing. Splendid! We've got the acid; all we want -is--by Jove! where can we get some iron pyrites? That means another -trip to Weymouth." - -"And you probably won't get it there." - -"Hang it all; can't we make it some other way?" - -"Wait a bit. Don't you remember old Peters making it once by boiling -sulphur with tallow? And he told us you get a more steady flow of gas -that way. We've probably got all we want on the premises. But how are -you going to get it into the room?" - -"We'll have to find a way. Let's go and investigate." - -Inquiry of Mrs. Trenchard elicited the information that her store -cupboard ran along the whole length of the room in which Smail had made -himself at home. The wall between them was rather thick, but it would -certainly not be impossible to pierce a hole in it. - -"Splendid!" said Eves. "We can make the gas in the store cupboard, and -pass it into the room through one of our tubes. Of course, we'll have -to lock the man in." - -"The gas won't drive him out of the window," said Templeton. "In fact, -if he keeps that open the smell will never be strong enough." - -"You may be sure the window won't be open. A fellow of that sort revels -in fug. No doubt he'll take an afternoon nap to-morrow. That'll be our -time. He'll wake up choking, and if I know my man he'll make a dash for -the window and tumble out into the open--by the way, I suppose the gas -won't actually poison him?" - -"No; the worst effect, I believe, is sickness and dizziness. We had -better start boring our hole to-night, when he's asleep. If we're -careful he won't hear us." - -"We must get Mother Trenchard to take out her stores. Shall we tell her -why?" - -"Better not. I'll just say we want to try an experiment." - -Mrs. Trenchard somewhat reluctantly agreed to remove her stores for a -short time. From her they obtained a quantity of tallow and a few sticks -of brimstone, and in the privacy of their bedroom they broke up and -pulverised one of the sticks, and boiled a little of the sulphur powder -with tallow in a tin. - -"Ripping stink," said Eves, putting his head out of the window. "It's -going to work A1. We'll pound up the rest of the brimstone, and then -wait for night. This is the stuff to give friend Smail. It will bring -him to his senses right enough." - -"More likely it'll take his senses away from him to begin with," -answered his fellow-conspirator. "But it won't do him any real harm. -Phew, what an aroma!" - -After dark, when loud snores from the room proclaimed that its occupant -was asleep, they bored a couple of holes in the partition wall with a -brace and bit obtained from Constable Haylock, who was something of a -carpenter. - -"I'll lend 'em to 'ee with pleasure, sir," he said when Eves requested -the loan, "purvided 'tis for a legal objeck. As a servant of the -nation, 'tud be my ruin if so be you was committing a felony." - -"That's all right, constable," replied Eves. "We're only going to bore a -couple of holes for Mrs. Trenchard." - -After an hour's careful work there were two small holes in the wall, -about six niches apart and a few inches above the floor, just under the -sofa. Satisfied that all was now ready for the morrow's experiment, the -lads went to bed. - -Next afternoon Templeton assured himself, by a peep from the outside -through the closed window, that Smail had settled himself on the sofa to -sleep over his heavy midday meal. Eves then quietly opened the door, -abstracted the key, and locked the door from the outside. Their simple -apparatus was already fitted up in the store cupboard--an old saucepan -over a spirit lamp, with two holes in the lid through which they had -passed two lengths of glass tubing, the other ends of which projected -slightly into the room. Their next move was to lock all the house -doors, except one leading to the garden at the back. By this time they -had found it necessary to tell Mrs. Trenchard what they were about, and -she was rather timorously awaiting results. - -"Whatever you do, Mrs. Trenchard, don't open the door to the fellow -after we get him out," said Eves, impressively. "Templeton says he -can't legally force his way in, so keep the doors shut and leave the -rest to us." - -Templeton lit the spirit lamp and closed the store-room door. In a few -minutes the nauseating fumes of sulphuretted hydrogen stole through the -cracks into the passage. - -"Gracious goodness, we'll all be poisoned!" cried Mrs. Trenchard. - -"No, it's quite harmless, I assure you, though rather horrid," said -Eves. "Look here, Bob, you paste some strips of paper over the cracks -while I go outside and see how things are getting on." - -He went out of the back door, hastened round to the front, and peeped in -at the window. Smail was sleeping on his back with his mouth open, one -hand dangling over the side of the sofa. The gas being colourless, Eves -had no evidence that the experiment was working until he put his nose to -the lower sill and got a faint whiff of the fetid odour. Minute after -minute passed, and there was no sign that the gas was having any effect -on the sleeper. At last, however, he stirred, sniffed, and looked round -the room. Then he got up, looked under the table, under the sofa, -examined his basket of provisions, turned up on end two empty beer -bottles. Seized with a fit of coughing, he made for the door, tugged at -the handle, shouted, then dashed to the window, pulled back the catch, -tumbled out, and ran towards the front entrance. - -Eves had slipped out of sight, but the moment the man's back was turned -he ran to the window, sprang on to the sill, and braving the fumes, -prepared to dispute any attempt to re-enter by the same way. - -Meanwhile Smail was thundering at the front door, mingling curses with -cries to be let in. At this signal that the experiment had succeeded, -Templeton threw open the door of the store cupboard, extinguished the -lamp, and asked Mrs. Trenchard to open all the inner doors and the upper -windows, so as to clear the air. - -Finding the front door closed to him, Smail returned to the window. -Eves had now entered the room and stood at the window, holding a poker. -Smail approached him, scowling and squaring his fists. - -"Just you come out o' that, you young viper," he cried. "You've a-tried -to pison me, and I'll have the law of 'ee. That there room's my room -for now; 'tis the law; so get out." - -"Here I be, and here I bide," said Eves, brandishing the poker. "Don't -come too near, Mr. Smail. You know so much about the law that you'll be -aware you're committing a felony if you try to force your way in. You -don't want to go to quod again, Mr. Smail, I'm sure. Besides, I don't -think your head's hard enough to stand a whack from this poker." - -[Illustration: "'HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,' SAID EVES, BRANDISHING THE -POKER."] - -"I say, Tom, don't be violent," said Templeton, coming up behind him. - -"I'm just explaining," replied Eves. "Cut down to the village, Bob, and -fetch old Haylock. He'll expound the law to Mr. Smail." - -Smail spluttered and cursed, but he was evidently doubtful on the point -of law, and after standing irresolutely in front of the window for a -minute or so he turned on his heel and shambled out through the gate. - -"Splendid, old man!" cried Eves. "There's no law that I know against -making a stink, and he went out of his own accord." - -"That's all very well, but the important thing is, will old Trenchard be -able to raise enough money to pay off Noakes? I wish Aunt Caroline were -here. She'd be able to advise; she's had a good deal to do with -lawyers, one way and another. If I knew where she was I'd wire her." - -"Well, all we've to do at present is to keep Smail and Noakes out till -the farmer gets back. From what I make of it, Trenchard still has a few -days' grace before his debt to Noakes becomes due, and anything may -happen in that time." - - - - *III* - - -They kept a close watch on the house all the rest of the day. At night -all the doors and windows were bolted, and Eves took turns with -Templeton to mount guard. The latter was by no means sure of the legal -position; it might be that he was mistaken, and that a forcible entry -would not be a breach of the law. The night was undisturbed, and next -morning Eves, leaving Templeton to keep watch, went down to the village -to consult Constable Haylock. - -"Can a bailiff, or whatever you call him, force his way into a house?" -he asked, meeting the constable near the bridge. - -"Well now, that's queer, danged if it bain't," said the constable. -"I've been axed that very same question a'ready this morning. It do -seem there's debts and executions in the wind, and folks come to me, as -stands for law and justice, to know their true rights." - -"They couldn't come to a better man, I'm sure," said Eves. "Was it old -Noakes who asked you?" - -"Now, sir, if you axe me to tell state secrets, I couldn't do it--no, -not for a judge or royal highness. I name no names; but I'll tell 'ee -what I said to them as axed me, that being law for rich and poor. -'Force yer way in,' says I, 'and you would be imprisoned without the -auction o' fine, 'cos the judge med bring it in housebreaking, or -burglary if by night. But there be other roads to market,' says I. 'If -so be you comes up quiet and finds some out-o'-the-way door as bain't -the high road, so to speak it, into the house, and gets yer foot -inside--well, there 'tis; if those inside tries to get yer foot out 'tis -assault and battery, and the fine forty shilling.' That's what I said, -and I make no boast, but I defy any man to give 'ee better law nor that, -I don't care who the man is." - -"By Jove! you're Solomon and Daniel rolled up together," said Eves. -"You're a treasure, constable. By the way, don't say I asked about it. -I'm rather hard up myself, but Mr. Templeton----" - -"Not a word, sir, not a word. Maybe I'll meet yer friend up along one -o' these days; he's a gentleman and will behave as such." - -Eves's face wore a grin when he returned to the farm. - -"Haylock's a priceless old ass, Bob," he said. "Noakes has been at him, -and he's given him a tip." - -"Who's given who? Your pronouns are mixed up," said Templeton. - -"Well, you don't suppose Noakes would tip Haylock; that's for you to do. -What I meant was that Haylock has given Noakes a tip how to get into the -house without breaking the law, and you may bet your boots we shall have -Smail up again to-night. You know that narrow lane leading up to -Trenchard's coal-shed? It's hardly ever used. Any one might come up -there at night, and get in by the window of the shed. There's a door -between the shed and the scullery, never locked, and Smail can easily -get into the house that way." - -"You don't mean to say that Haylock put 'em up to that?" - -"Of course not; but he told Noakes that if he can manage to get into the -house secretly when the inmates are off their guard they can't legally -turn him out. Whether he's right or wrong I don't know, but you may be -sure it was enough for Noakes." - -"Haylock ought to have warned Mrs. Trenchard." - -"But Noakes wasn't such a fool as to say what house he wanted to get -into. He asked a general question, just as I did. Well, on the way up -I had a ripping idea. Your tar entanglement--just the very thing." - -"What do you mean?" - -"Why, if it's good enough to stump the Huns in Flanders it's good enough -to spoil old Noakes's game. Noakes is sure to think of the lane. We'll -cover the ground with a layer of good runny tar some inches deep and a -few feet square, and stretch a few wires across, and Messrs. Noakes and -Smail will find themselves properly held up. I know the very -place--just where the lane runs under the wall of the barn on one side -and a prickly hedge on the other. They couldn't go round. Imagine old -Noakes stuck fast in the tar, like a fly in treacle." - -"Where's the tar to come from?" - -"There's a barrel in the outhouse; Trenchard uses it, no doubt, for -tarring his fences. We could melt that down, and it would keep sticky a -long time this hot weather." - -"But I don't see why we need take all that trouble. All we've got to do -is to lock the door between the scullery and the coal-shed." - -"Hang it all, where's your enterprise? Don't you see, you owl, we'd kill -two birds with one stone? We'd teach old Noakes a lesson and test your -idea at the same time. Imagine Noakes is a prowling Hun, coming at dead -of night to surprise our unsuspecting Tommies, stealing along, all -quiet--and slap he goes into the tar. Come, man, it's splendid." - -Templeton came round to his friend's view, and they lost no time in -making their preparations. The lane was apparently used only as a short -cut from the high-road when coal was brought to the farm. It was just -wide enough to allow the passage of a cart, and even on a bright night -was dark, owing to the tall hedge on one side and the high blank wall on -the other. At its darkest spot, ten or a dozen yards from the house, -Eves set to work to prepare the ground. He measured off a space about -four yards long, and at the end farthest from the house dug the soft -earth to the depth of four inches. Working back from this point, in the -course of a couple of hours' diligent spade work he had made a shallow -excavation in the lane, varying in depth from four inches to eight. -Meanwhile Templeton had broken up the tar and melted it down in the -small portable copper which the farmer used for conveying tar from place -to place. They ladled the molten stuff into the excavation, filling up -to the level of the lane. - -"Hope they won't smell a rat--which is tar backwards," said Eves. -"Perhaps the smell will have gone off a bit by the time it's dark. Tell -you what, we'll cover it lightly with farm litter, and strew some more -between here and the road; perhaps one smell will kill the other." - -Last of all they carried two strands of stout wire across the lane, -about half-way along the tarry patch, and three inches above its -surface. - -"Good!" cried Eves, surveying the completed work. "In the darkness they -won't see a thing." - -"Suppose they don't come this way at all?" said Templeton. - -"You're a horrible pessimist. Is there a better way? Aren't all my -deductions good? Well, then, cheer up, and see if you can manage to -laugh when the flies are trapped." - - -About half-past nine (summer time) Eves and Templeton left the farmhouse -by the front door. Mrs. Trenchard locked the door behind them, and they -had previously assured themselves that all the other doors and windows -were securely fastened. Each carried a shot-gun. Two guns were always -suspended on the wall of Mr. Trenchard's den, and it had occurred to -Eves that they might prove useful. - -It was a dark summer night. There was no moon, and the starlight was -too feeble to throw any illumination upon the tree-bordered high-road. -The lads' intention was to walk down the road until they came to the -lane, to hang about the entrance there until they discovered the -approach of Smail, and then to take cover in the angle between the hedge -and the road, behind the visitor. - -They had hardly left the farm gate when Eves's quick eyes detected a -small figure lurking in the shadow on the farther side of the road. - -"Noakes has posted a scout," he whispered. "They're going to make the -attempt. But this is awkward, Bob. We shall have to dispose of the -scout; I fancy it's long-haired Josiah." - -"I bar that," said Templeton, decisively. "I'm not going to hold up the -youngster, or anything of that sort." - -"All right; there's no need. Leave it to me." - -They walked on, giving no sign of having seen the boy, who slipped -behind a tree-trunk as they neared him. - -"Yes, it's just the night," said Eves in a loud voice, as though -continuing a discussion. "Just the night rabbits like. Slip round -quietly to the wood; there'll be hundreds skipping about in the -darkness. It's nearly a mile away; allow half an hour to get there and -back, and an hour's sport; it'll only be eleven then--not so very late." - -By this time they had passed the lurking scout, who must have heard all -Eves said. A few yards farther along there was a turning on the right, -leading to a small wood. Eves struck into this. - -"Come on," he said to Templeton. "See if my strategy doesn't answer." - -They concealed themselves in the hedge, and a few seconds later saw -Josiah Noakes run down the road towards the village. - -"There you are," said Eves. "Josiah's run to tell his father we're off -shooting rabbits, and the coast is clear. To bring the guns was a -bright idea, Bobby." - -They waited until the boy was well out of earshot, then returned to the -road, crossed it, and entered the lane on the opposite side. - -Some twenty minutes later three figures were faintly discernible on the -white road, coming up the hill. - -"Here they are," whispered Eves. "They're bringing Josy to protect their -rear. Now into cover!" - -They crept through the hedge and waited. No footsteps sounded on the -road. - -"Wearing rubber-soled shoes," whispered Eves. "So much the better; the -tar will stick." - -Presently the voice of Noakes in subdued tones came to them. - -"Now, Josiah, do 'ee stop here at the end of the lane, and if so be you -see or hear any one coming up or down along, do 'ee run and tell -us--quiet as a cat, mind 'ee." - -"All right, feyther. I'll tell 'ee sure enough." - -The men passed on. Smail sniffed. - -"A powerful smell o' tar, Mr. Noakes," he said in a hoarse murmur. - -"Mm'm," grunted Noakes. "Trenchard don't tar his fences till autumn. -'Tis some mischief o' they young varmints, belike. I'll tar 'em!" - -"You be sure o' the law, Mr. Noakes? Young feller said summat about my -being in quod _again_. How did he know I been in quod?" - -"Quiet, Smail. I'll answer for 'ee, man. Now, you go for'ard, straight -along. When you get into coal-shed, gi'e me a whistle." - -"Not if I knows it. I can't get in that there winder wi'out being -hoisted, and 'tis you must hoist me." - -"Stuff and rubbish! Winder's low, and don't 'ee see 'tis best I -shouldn't be seen, if so be the door inside's locked and you can't get -in?" - -The men had halted some yards from the patch of tar. Smail was -insistent. Noakes declined to accompany him to the shed, and it seemed -to the two watchers that matters had come to a deadlock. - -"Now, Bob," whispered Eves, "we must give them a start." - -He pulled back the trigger of his gun, causing a slight click. - -"What's that?" murmured Smail. - -"I didn't see nothing," returned Noakes. - -"But I heard something." - -"'Twas a bird in the hedge, then. My Josiah would have give us warning -if he seed any one, and they young fellers be a mile away. Get on, -Smail; ten shillings extry, man." - -He took Smail's arm and led him, still reluctant, up the lane. They had -just reached the edge of the tar when there were two loud reports from -the direction of the hedge a few yards behind them. - -Startled, they plunged forward, floundered through the first few feet of -the tar, tripped over the wire, and sprawled at full length, more or -less mixed up with each other, in the deeper end. - -[Illustration: "THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED AT FULL -LENGTH."] - -"Splendid!" whispered Eves. "Your tar entanglement is a great success, -Bob. Let's get back; we can very well leave them there." - -As they returned to the road they heard the rumble of cart wheels coming -up the hill, and voices. The cart stopped. - -"That's young Josiah speaking," said Templeton. "We had better wait and -explain, Tom." - -"All right, the cart's coming on again." - -They reached the farmyard gate and stood waiting. The lamps of the -vehicle fell upon their faces, and both started when a lady's voice -exclaimed: - -"Robert!" - -"Aunt Caroline!" said Templeton in an undertone to Eves. - -"And Trenchard!" cried Eves. "What luck!" - -A ramshackle fly pulled up at the gate, and Mr. Trenchard assisted Miss -Templeton to alight. - -"What has happened?" asked the lady. "We heard shots, and a little boy -came running down the hill crying that his father was killed. It is Mr. -Noakes, Mr. Trenchard says." - -"Quite a mistake, Aunt," said Templeton. "I _am_ glad to see you. Come -in; I'll explain. This is my friend Eves." - -"Yes, yes; but the boy was greatly agitated. Run after him, Robert, and -tell him that his father is _not_ killed." - -"My hat!" muttered Eves, with a grimace, as Templeton sprinted down the -hill. - -"What was it, Mr. Eves? I am greatly concerned that the little fellow -should have had such a terrible shock." - -"Well, Miss Templeton, I really--you see--oh, yes, it was Bob's tar -entanglement, you know. But Mr. Trenchard has told you about old -Noakes, I expect." - -"Mr. Trenchard has told me things about Mr. Noakes that I cannot credit. -But I do not understand--a tar entanglement, you said?" - -"Yes, an invention of Bob's, you know; a splendid thing. But there's -such a lot to tell: won't you go into the house? Then Bob and I can -tell you between us." - -"Very well. Give the driver ten shillings for his fare." - -"I've only four and elevenpence half-penny," said Eves, with a smile. - -"Dear me! Then I must ask the driver to come to the house. My notes -are in my dressing-case. One cannot be too careful." - -By the time Miss Templeton had found her money and paid the driver -Templeton was back. - -"It's all right, Aunt. The boy is going home with his father." - -Eves grinned. - -"Oh!" said Miss Templeton. "Now, as Robert is out of breath, perhaps -you will be good enough, Mr. Eves, to run down and tell Mr. Noakes that -I desire to see him here, without fail, at ten o'clock to-morrow -morning." - -Eves threw a melancholy look at Templeton as he departed. - -Mrs. Trenchard had received her visitor with transports of delight. It -came out that Mr. Trenchard, having failed in his errand in London, had -encountered Miss Templeton on his way back at the junction a few miles -away, and, completing the journey with her, had explained the -circumstances that had led to his absence from home. The lady heard his -story with mingled incredulity and indignation. On its repetition by -Mrs. Trenchard she exclaimed: - -"I am amazed and horrified, Martha. Do you know that when I was last -here, ten years ago, that man Noakes came to me and borrowed a -considerable sum of money for the extension of his business. He seemed -a civil and obliging person, and I was glad to lend to a respectable -tradesman--of course, at a reasonable rate of interest. He has paid me -the interest regularly, but always regretted that circumstances did not -permit of his repaying the loan. It is shocking to find that he has -actually used that money--my money--to involve your dear husband in -difficulties. Such depravity! I shall deal very sternly with Mr. Noakes -to-morrow, I assure you." - -"Ah! To think of it, now," said Mrs. Trenchard. "And that dreadful man -as he put in here--well, I do owe your nephew something, ma'am, for he -and his friend Mr. Eves blowed him out with the most terrible smell that -ever was, and no harm to a soul. Mr. Bob's inventions are that -wonderful!" - -"Really, Robert," said Miss Templeton, "I hope you have not been -troubling Mrs. Trenchard with your inventions. It was clearly -understood that you came here to work on the land." - -"And so he hev, ma'am," put in Trenchard. "Him and his friend hev worked -on the land, and done inventions as well, and one of 'em saved my root -crops, it did. I'm not the man to say anything against inventions." - -"I am glad to hear you have invented something useful, Robert. Was that -tar entanglement that your friend spoke of also an invention of yours?" - -"Well, yes, Aunt, it was," said Templeton, somewhat embarrassed. "It -was an idea for worrying the Germans, you know. But, of course--here's -Tom, he'll explain better than I can." - -"Oh, I say!" protested Eves, who had just come in. Then he began to -laugh. "My word! He did look funny--tar from head to foot. You see, -Miss Templeton, we got rid of that ruffian Smail once by means of -stinks--I mean, sulphuretted hydrogen, a gas very useful in chemistry. -Then, suspecting he'd come back, it occurred to me that we might teach -him a lesson by putting into practice Bob's idea of a tar entanglement. -It really worked out splendidly. Noakes--he's a bad egg----" - -"A what?" asked the lady. - -"A bad man, ma'am. He and Smail came up, and we let off the guns just -to encourage 'em, and they fell slap on their faces in the lane over -there, and I'm sure they won't get the tar off for a month." - -"You gave Mr. Noakes my message?" - -"Yes." - -"And he said he would come, no doubt." - -"I'm sorry to say, ma'am, he swore like a trooper. But in the -circumstances I dare say you would have done the same--not you, of -course. I didn't mean that; I mean any one--that is, any man." - -"But no gentleman, Mr. Eves." - -"Certainly--that is, of course not; but then no gentleman would ever be -Noakes." - -Noakes did not appear next morning. Miss Templeton sent one of the -maids to fetch him. She came back and reported that Mr. Noakes had been -suddenly called away. He never reappeared in Polstead. The story of -the tarring was told by Smail, who felt aggrieved, at the village inn -that night, and Noakes saw next morning that his position in the village -was ruined. He gave instructions for the sale of his business, and Miss -Templeton generously cancelled his debt to her in return for his release -of Mr. Trenchard. - -Miss Templeton gave her lecture on food economy, the last of her tour, -and the holidays being over, returned with her nephew and Tom Eves to -London. - -"A ripping holiday, old man," said Eves as the friends parted. "Lay in -a stock of bright ideas for next year." - - - - - *THE CLIPPER OF THE ROAD* - - - - *I* - - -"How long will you be, Bob?" - -"Can't say: perhaps twenty minutes. You needn't shout." - -"Jolly sensitive, ain't you? What about my tender spots? After I've -taken the trouble to write to your Aunt Caroline for your address, and -got it, with yards and yards of advice to a young man, and then -sacrificed a day of my leave to hunt you up, you won't spare a jiff to -talk to a fellow, and when I ask you a civil question, tell me not to -shout, with the wind roaring like a barrage, and that wretched machine -squeaking like----" - -"Oh, come now, Tom, that's not fair!" said Templeton. "I told you I -must finish grinding these valves, then I'm free. And as for talking, I -can hear you quite well; that's all that matters, isn't it?" - -"Been cultivating repartee with your C.O., I suppose," remarked Eves. -"Or else your naturally amiable disposition has broken down under the -tender mercies of the Boche. Aunt Caroline warned me, I admit: said you -had undergone great mental strain, underlined, and were feverishly -anxious to repair your wasted life, underlined twice. What did the Boche -do to you, Bobby, old man?" - -"Tell you by and by: must finish this job." - -Eves sighed with resignation, and looked round for a seat. There was -nothing available except a bench along the wall, littered with tools and -odds and ends of machinery. Being also plentifully besmeared with black -grease, it looked far from inviting, especially as Eves was wearing a -new pair of slacks; but he cleared a space large enough to afford -sitting room, and taking the outer sheets of a newspaper that lay handy, -spread them on the board, seated himself thereon, and opened the inner -sheet to kill time until Templeton should have finished his job. - -Tom Eves, whose cap bore the badge of a certain regiment of Light -Infantry, was in the final stage of convalescence from wounds received -in action before Amiens. While in hospital he had learnt that -Templeton, taken a prisoner in the early days of the Germans' spring -offensive, was among the first batch of officers repatriated under the -terms of the armistice, and on applying to Miss Templeton for her -nephew's address, was astonished and amused to hear that he was hard at -work in a little Dorset town within easy reach. - -"Just like old Bob!" he said to himself. "Two months' leave! And -instead of playing the giddy goat, as any sensible fellow would do in -his place, he feels he must make up for lost time and swot away at his -old inventions. With a good balance at Cox's, too. Aunt Caroline says -she quite approves of his spending his money in preparation for his -career--just the sort of thing she would say! Well, I'll look him up, -the old juggins, first leave I have!" - -Templeton, in fact, taking his usual serious view of things in general -and his inventions in particular, had been unable to reconcile himself -to the prospect of two months' idleness, after having kicked his heels -for seven months in a prisoners' camp, months during which his brain had -teemed with "notions." There was the two-way motor; the turbine motor; -an automatic fire extinguisher; a sound increaser; a combined tin-opener -and fountain pen, with corkscrew attachment; a road yacht; a push and -pull door-handle. Aunt Caroline was so much impressed with the potential -public utility of the bright ideas he expounded to her, that she placed -£25 to his credit with Cox's, and warmly commended him when he told her -that he had found a field for his experiments in the little town of -Pudlington. "A _delightful_ spot!" she said, in her emphatic way. "A -quaint old town, quite _charming_! And _such_ invigorating air!" The -manager of the British Motor Garage, just outside the town aforesaid, -had agreed to give Templeton facilities for experimenting in exchange -for his services--an arrangement that suited with his own and his aunt's -ideas of economy. Wilkins, the manager, was short-handed: indeed -Templeton found himself more often than not in sole charge of the -garage, for Wilkins was frequently absent, driving his only serviceable -car for the officers of the camp a few miles away. Thus, when Eves made -his appearance on this bright, windy December morning, he found his old -friend, encased in the blue overalls of a mechanic, alone in the -repairing shop, and engrossed in the job he had in hand. - -For a few minutes Eves read the newspaper, without addressing any -further remark to Templeton. - -"I say, Bob!" he exclaimed at last, "here's a chance for you.... All -right--I won't shout, but listen! 'G.R.--Notice. Tenders for the -purchase of waste from the Upper Edgecombe Camp should reach the Officer -Commanding not later than noon on Thursday, December 12.' Fortunes have -been made out of waste. Perhaps you have tendered already: I see the -paper's nearly a week old." - -"I haven't," replied Templeton, curtly. - -"Well, you're not a rag and bone merchant, it's true, but----" - -"Considering that to-day's the 12th, and it's just on eleven now, it's -too late to tender, even if I wanted to." - -"Which you don't! _My_ bright ideas are always nipped in the bud. I -say, Bob, was there anything in that story we heard in our mess at -Corbie--that idea of yours, you know?" - -"Which one?" asked Templeton, pausing for a moment in his task. He was -always interested in ideas. - -"Well, they said you were showing off one of your inventions to a brass -hat--some sort of a door-handle, I think it was--and he got fixed up in -a dug-out, and you couldn't release him for three hours or so, and he -got no lunch. Everybody said it was a splendid rag." - -"Idiots!" - -"But wasn't it true? The story ran through the front line trenches for -thirty miles or so, and bucked the men up no end." - -"It wasn't a rag at all. The fact is, the staff-major was too -impatient. He wouldn't wait till I'd finished explaining the idea, and -the result was what you might have expected. It was his own fault--the -idea's all right." - -"What about your gas machine, then?" - -"Well, what about it?" The inventor was roused: he stood facing Eves, -with the air of a cat whose fur has been rubbed the wrong way. - -"The story that came to us was that you nearly caused a vacancy in the -command of your battalion. Everybody said you were taking a short cut -to getting your second pip." - -"Asses!" growled Templeton. "The explanation simply is that a screw was -a trifle loose----" - -"Now nobody said that, Bob, I assure you. Everybody said you were an -awfully clever chap, only----" - -"I tell you a screw was a bit loose, owing to the lack of suitable -appliances, and the gas came out a second or two before it ought. And -the C.O. needn't have put his nose quite so close to the machine: I -didn't ask him to!" - -"I suppose the adjutant was too inquisitive, then. Not that time; I -mean when you were trying that self-adjusting bomb of yours. The -Brigade Bombing Officer was full of it, and the mess were quite jealous, -because we never had such rags on our sector." - -"Rags!" snorted Templeton in disgust. "I hate the word! You know -perfectly well that I never rag. That self-adjusting bomb was a very -serious matter." - -"Quite so. It's only lucky it wasn't more serious, isn't it? We were -told it cost your adjutant his left eyebrow and half a promising -moustache." - -"Grossly exaggerated!" Templeton exclaimed. - -"As Mark Twain said when he read the report of his own death! But -what's this, Bob?" - -A long green motor-car was drawing up slowly and noisily in front of the -garage, emitting a cloud of smoke. From the seat beside the chauffeur -sprang a large man, wearing a heavily furred coat. He came round the -car and called out, before he reached the open door of the repairing -shop: - -"Here, I say there! Can you do anythink for this car? My fool of a -shover can't find out what's wrong, and we'll crock up altogether if we -go on like this. The engine's knocking like anythink." - -By this time he had reached the doorway, and he stood there facing -Templeton, after shooting one brief glance at Eves on the bench. -Templeton, looking a little more solemn even than usual--or perhaps his -expression was partly due to the black smears on his face--had not time -to reply before Eves put in a word. - -"Can yer do anythink for the gentleman?" he said. - -"P'raps you've got another car handy?" said the stranger. - -"No, there's none in just now," replied Templeton. - -"Can't you find one? Look here, young feller, I'll make it worth yer -while. I've got to call on the mayor and be at the camp inside of an -hour. What yer say?" - -"There's not another car in the place. They're all at the camp." - -"Well, then, you got to do somethink, and look alive!" - -"Don't keep the gentleman waiting!" said Eves, already enjoying himself. -The turn things had taken seemed to carry prospects of what he called a -"splendid rag." - -Templeton asked the chauffeur to step out, and taking his place, started -the car, listening intently. - -"There! Didn't I tell yer?" said the owner, trotting alongside. -"What's wrong, eh?" - -Templeton pulled up within a few yards, and backed. - -"Oil," he said, laconically. "Your big ends are going." - -"Big ends! What the jooce! Here, you Thomson, why didn't you give the -engine no oil?" - -"'Cos there warn't none," said the chauffeur, sulkily. "I told yer----" - -"None of yer lip, now! Well, if it's only oil--Here, mister, oil up, -and look sharp about it! None of yer country dawdling: get a move on!" - -Templeton looked over the side of the car, and said quietly, in his mild -considered way: - -"I should just like to remark that unless you can moderate your -impatience, or curb your somewhat insolent expression of it, you may -take yourself and your car elsewhere." - -"Yes," cut in Eves, who had come out into the road. "If I were you, -young feller, I'd jolly well chuck him into the horse-pond." - -[Illustration: "'YES,' CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO THE ROAD. 'IF -I WERE YOU, YOUNG FELLER, I'D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE -HORSE-POND.'"] - -The stranger looked from one to the other, his astonishment at -Templeton's address yielding to wrath. - -"Who are you a-talking to?" he cried, making an aggressive move towards -Eves. - -"Not to you, my dear sir, not to you. I was merely telling this young -feller what I should do if I were he, and you may thank your lucky stars -I'm not." - -The man eyed the speaker truculently, as if meditating chastisement; but -Eves, in spite of the blue band on his arm, looked so well knit, so -vigorous, that valour subsided into discretion. Muttering something -about "young pups in khaki," the stranger turned towards the car, saw -that Templeton had begun lubricating, and strolled across the yard -towards a strange vehicle standing outside the garage. - -"Here, Thomson, come and look at this," he called. - -For a few minutes the two men walked round the vehicle, discussing its -appearance, laughing as one pointed out this or that feature to the -other. - -"It ain't a car," said the chauffeur. - -"More like a boat," said his employer. "This here's a mast, ain't it? -P'raps it's one of them hydroplanes." - -"They're the same as airyplanes without the wheels. My idea it's an -agricultural implement: now-a-days they've all sorts of rum contraptions -in country parts." - -They examined the vehicle, perfunctorily and without knowledge, until -Templeton called out that the oiling was finished. - -"Quite time too," said the stranger, looking at his watch. "She'll go -all right?" he asked, as he rejoined Templeton in the road. - -"Naturally I can't give any guarantee," replied Templeton, "but in all -probability the engine will last out a few hours--until you have time to -give it a thorough overhauling. If I may make a suggestion, let it cool -down and run slowly, or the big ends will go altogether." - -"H'm! S'pose you know! How much?" - -"Oh! say half-a-crown." - -"Here y'are. Get in, Thomson." He shoved the chauffeur into the car. -"Straight up!" he cried. - -The car rattled away, still smoking, but less vigorously than before. - -"Charming man!" said Eves, as the two returned to the shop. "Come -across many like him, Bobby?" - -"Oh! one meets all sorts. But I really think, Tom, I should be in -danger of losing my temper if everybody who stopped here for repairs -were quite so--so----" - -"Exactly. Well, old sport, do hurry up with those valves. I had an -early breakfast, and no squish--simply rotten, breakfast without squish. -So hurry up, and we'll go and swop some coupons." - - - - *II* - - -Templeton placidly resumed his job; Eves remounted the bench and again -took up the newspaper. After a minute or two he exclaimed: - -"I say, what do you think of this? 'Our worthy mayor, Alderman -Noakes'----" - -"Who?" - -"Alderman Noakes. Recalls sweet memories, eh, old sport? That summer -idyll in our early youth--law! what ages ago it seems! 'But ah! how it -was sweet!' That's Browning, old man; not my own, I assure you. I seem -to see, down the dim vista of departed years, the figure of our Noakes, -smothered in half-consumed carbon, otherwise soot; and again the same -Noakes, sprawling in a purling stream; and yet again the same Noakes, -affectionately embracing his mother earth--various phases of Noakes -concurrent with the flow of ideas in the cerebellum of----" - -"Oh, dry up, Tom! You really are an awful ass sometimes." - -"Who are you a-talking to, young feller? I was just pointing out that -the name Noakes, on the principle of the association of ideas--but let's -see what it says. 'Our worthy mayor, Alderman Noakes, accompanied by -the bailiff and reeves, will on December 21, for the four hundred and -fifty-second time in the history of this ancient borough, perform the -quaint ceremony of anointing the British Stone.' The worthy mayor must -be a hoary old Methuselah if he's performed the ceremony four hundred -and fifty-one times: he might be the great-grandfather ten times removed -of that old rascal we knew. And if he's even so distantly related as -that, he's probably a rascal too, and deserves to be kept waiting." - -"Waiting? What for?" - -"Why, for that model of urbanity and fur collar who wanted you to do -somethink to this 'ere car and look alive, young feller. He said he was -going to call on the mayor, you remember." - -"He's part of the show, perhaps. I wonder what that ceremony is. What -a ramshackle old car that was! But all existing cars will be scrapped -when I get my two-way motor going." - -"That's the latest, is it?" - -"Yes: I've great hopes of it. I've partly drawn up the -specification--I'm going to take out a patent--but I can't finish it -until I get a nozzle that's being specially manufactured to my order." - -"Rum thing, Bob, that most of your thingummy-bobs seldom do get -finished: what? But we've had some splendid rags out of them all the -same." - -"Now that's not fair," cried Templeton, swinging round, and speaking -with a heat pardonable in an earnest inventor. "My road yacht is -complete; it's out there in the yard at this very moment." - -"That thing old Rabbit-skin was poking his nose into! What's the idea?" - -"Well, it's not exactly new; it's an adaptation of the sand yacht. With -petrol scarce, I asked myself, why waste petrol when the wind can be -harnessed for nothing an hour?" - -"Jolly patriotic, and sporting too, old son. How's it work?" - -"Well, you see, it's a light chassis and a skeleton body with a -mainsail, rigged sloop fashion, which gives me several miles an hour in -a light wind; it's good for twelve or fourteen in a fair breeze on a -good road on the flat. What it can do in the kind of wind we have -to-day I don't know." - -"But hang it all, what if you're becalmed? And what about hills, and -bridges, and all that?" - -"You've spotted my main difficulty--to obtain the maximum sail area -consistent with the stability of the craft and the limitations of road -navigation. Of course I've got an auxiliary motor for use in calms and -uphill; but bridges aren't such a nuisance as the hedges; they constrict -the roads confoundedly. I have to stick to the highway ... I say, old -chap, just answer that telephone call for me, will you? Another five -minutes will see me through." - -Eves walked across to the telephone box in the corner. The following -conversation ensued. - -"Hullo!" - -"Are you Mr. Wilkins?" - -"Am I Wilkins, Bob?" (in a whisper). - -"Say you're the British Motor Garage," said Templeton. "Wilkins is -out." - -"Are you there? Righto! We're the British Motor Garage." - -"Well, I say, sorry to trouble you, but Noakes's 'phone is out of order. -Tell him he can cut his tender thirty per cent.: no other offers." - -"Hold on a jiff." Eves moved from the mouthpiece and turned towards -Templeton. "Noakes again, Bob. Our worthy mayor. You're to give him a -message, something about cutting a tender." - -"Tell him I know nothing about Noakes." - -"Righto! Leave it to me.... Hullo! A tender cut, you said?" - -"Can't you hear? I said, tell Noakes he can cut his tender by thirty -per cent." - -"All right; I've got it now. But who's Noakes, and what have we to do -with him?" - -"Aren't you Mr. Wilkins?" - -"Wilkins is out. I'm speaking from his shop." - -"Oh, hang!" - -"He's cut off, Bob," said Eves, ruefully, hanging up the receiver. "I -wanted to ask him about Methuselah. You've done at last?" - -"Yes, thank goodness!" - -"Well, clean yourself, and come along. Hullo! Here's another visitor." - -A tall, lean, loosely-built man was hurriedly crossing the yard towards -the shop door. - -"Good morning to you," he said, somewhat breathlessly. "I'm just off -the train from London, and there's never a bit of a car, and what'll I -do at all, when I've to be at the Upper Edgecombe camp before twelve? -I'll be glad now if so be you can tend me the loan of a car." - -"You're the second man within ten minutes or so who has wanted to get to -the camp in a hurry," said Templeton. - -"Do you say that, now? And what like might the first be, if you please -to tell me?" - -Templeton was considering how to begin a serious description; but Eves -forestalled him. - -"A fur-lined coat, a bristly moustache, and a voice like a corncrake. -That's near enough for anythink." - -"It is that," said the stranger, his blue eyes twinkling for an instant. -His expression became grave as he added: "Sure it's mighty unlucky, -without you have a car. They told me in the town I'd get one here, or -nowhere at all." - -"I'm sorry I haven't one handy," said Templeton. "Ours are out." - -"I say, Bob, what about the road yacht?" said Eves, who had been -attracted by the civility of the Irishman, and with quick wit had jumped -to the conclusion that he was on the same errand as the boor. "There's -a spanking wind." - -"Well, if he doesn't mind risking it," said Templeton, dubiously. - -"'Deed now, I'll be after risking anything." - -"Anythink?" said Eves. - -"You'll have his measure taken," said the Irishman, smiling again. "And -if it's a five-pound note----" - -"Don't mention it," said Templeton. "Tom, just lock up, will you? while -I get ready." - -He hastened across the yard, opened the bonnet of the car, and spent a -few minutes with the inner mysteries. By the time he had satisfied -himself that the engine was in working order the other two had joined -him. - -"I've only a quart of petrol," he said. "Wilkins has taken the rest, and -our monthly allowance isn't due till to-morrow. The camp's about eleven -miles, and we've nearly half an hour; but there's a stiff hill that will -use most of the petrol; it's an old Ford and can barely do fifteen miles -to the gallon." - -"I'll run up the hill on my two feet to lighten the car," said the -stranger, eagerly; "and sure I'd have run the whole way from the station -if I were twenty years younger." - -"You must have been a stayer in your time, sir," said Eves. - -"Maybe I was that, the time I did a Marathon, and was not the last -either. Only for being five and forty I wouldn't be troubling you, for -a matter of eleven miles. But it's a sail I see you have. There's a -nice breeze from the west, surely, and if the car doesn't upset on us -I'm thinking we'd do without petrol only for the hill." - -"Faith removes mountains," said Eves. "You've a pretty good share of -it." - -"Faith, and I have then. And if so be the car upsets on us, sure we'll -have a bit of fun, and maybe that'll make up for the disappointment." - -Eves chatted with the genial Irishman during the few minutes in which -Templeton was making his final preparations. These completed, Templeton -ran the machine out into the roadway. It was a strange-looking object. -The body was little more than a skeleton framework, affording seating -accommodation for three, and the necessary protection for the working -parts. The drive was on the front wheels; the steering gear connected -with the back wheels. A strong single mast was stayed just behind the -driver's seat. A bowsprit projected some five feet beyond the radiator. -There were two sails, mainsail and jib. As Templeton unfurled these, -Eves noticed that the former had been recently patched. - -"Torn in a gale, Bob?" he asked. - -"No. The other day a wretched farm wagon claimed more than its fair -share of the road, and as of course I wouldn't give way there was what -some people call a contretemps. Look here, Tom, you must manage the -mainsail; I can deal with the jib. Get in: we've no time to spare." - -Templeton got into the driver's seat, the other two men into the seats -behind. The car was started on petrol, and ran at a moderate pace over -the half-mile of narrow road that led to the main street of the little -town. Dodging the market traffic, Templeton steered the car out at the -further end, and as soon as he was clear of the town slowed down and -gave the word to hoist the sails. These bellied out in the brisk -following wind; the strange vehicle gathered way; and, looking over his -shoulder with a smile of gratification, Templeton said: - -"Now we're off. Look out for gybing at the corners, Tom." - - - - *III* - - -Templeton's road yacht had been for a week or two a fairly familiar -object in the neighbourhood, and the few country folk on foot whom it -met or passed in the first few minutes of its voyage graced it with no -more attention than was evinced by a stolid stare, a shake of the head, -and a sort of prolonged sigh. A spectator of quicker mind--and he would -need to have been quick, for the pace was already great--might have -taken a fugitive interest in noting the facial expressions of the -vehicle's three occupants. Templeton looked earnest and responsible: -Eves wore only the shadow of his usual smile, for he was oppressed by an -anxious doubt whether his former experiences of yachting would serve him -in handling the sail of this novel craft. The wind was not only strong -but gusty, and at slight turns in the road the boom showed a tendency to -swing out of his control and commit assault and battery on the person of -his passenger. That gentleman, however, was evidently on the top of -enjoyment. Whatever his errand was, it was driven from his mind by -sheer exhilaration. He lived wholly in the present. Peering over -Templeton's shoulder at the speedometer, he reported with boyish -excitement the movements of the indicator--twenty, twenty-five, thirty: -"Believe you me, it's thirty miles; the like of that, now!" - -Approaching a sharp bend in the road, Templeton gradually throttled down -until the speed was reduced to fifteen; and when, as the yacht rounded -the bend, the change of course caused the boom to swing over and knock -the Irishman's hat off, the genial stranger shouted with glee and -declared that he was having the time of his life, begor. - -Eves hauled in the mainsheet; the pace again rose to twenty-five; and a -marked down-grade enabled Templeton to maintain that speed for a time -with the engine switched off. At the end of the dip, where the road -bent again, Templeton was faced by the first up-grade--a long straight -stretch almost in the teeth of the wind. Some little distance from the -foot of the incline he switched on his engine, and took the ascent for -the most part on top, dropping to first about two hundred yards from the -summit. At this point the passenger, looking back along the road, -exclaimed: - -"There's a car in the wake of us." - -"Overhauling us?" asked Eves. - -"She's not, then. How would the likes of her?" - -"She will, though. We shall have to slow down. Look ahead." - -A heavy farm wagon drawn by three horses had appeared over the crest of -the hill, and was lumbering down with skidpans adjusted, and occupying -three-fourths of the roadway. - -"It's the way we'd see a collision," said the Irishman, chortling. The -prospect had evidently no terrors for him. Eves, on the other hand, for -all his delight in a rag, felt by no means easy in mind. - -"Slow down, Bob," he cried, anxiously, at the same time hauling in the -sheet until the sail stood almost parallel with the side of the vehicle. - -Templeton made no reply; but knowing from experience that the road yacht -was a likely source of anxiety to horses he slowed down, at the imminent -risk of stopping entirely, and steered well into the hedge. The carter -hurried to the leader's head and pulled in to his side of the road, -giving only a gaping stare as the yacht grazed the off wheels of his -wagon and the hedge on the other side. - -"As good a bit of steering as ever I saw," cried the Irishman. "Did you -get a whiff of the mangolds?" - -"I was expecting to be mangled," said Eves, grimly. "I say, Bob, the -wind's dead ahead, and the sail's no bally good." - -"Lower it, man, lower it," said Templeton. "We'll be all right at the -next turn." - -The yacht was crawling painfully to the top of the hill when there came -from behind the sound of a hooter. Eves and the Irishman looked back. -A large car had just rounded the bend below, and was mounting the hill -with a great roaring and rattling, distinctly audible above the noise of -their own straining engine. - -"By George, Bob," cried Eves, "that green car that called at the garage -is upon our heels." - -"I hear it," said Templeton. "Couldn't mistake it: I'll give it room to -pass." - -Before the yacht had gamed the top of the hill the following car, -hooting continuously, closed with it and dashed past. - -"I say, Bob," shouted Eves, "did you see who was in it?" - -"No. Didn't look. Who is it?" - -"Rabbit-skin and Noakes." - -"Our Noakes?" - -"Philemon, as sure as a gun." - -"Our worthy mayor, evidently. Rummy!" - -"What was that you said?" asked Eves, turning to the Irishman, who had -uttered a sharp exclamation as the car ran by. - -"It was what I don't care to repeat. The fellow you do be calling -Rabbit-skin has the rise got on me, and indeed I'm sorry I put you to -the trouble and all." - -"Noakes, you mean?" - -"I do not. Noakes is unbeknown to me. But by the look of it that car -will get to the camp by twelve o'clock, and we will not, and then -Saunders, him with the fur collar, will be the way of slipping in his -tender and I'll be left on the doorstep." - -A light flashed on Eves. - -"You're tendering for the camp waste?" he asked, quickly. - -"I was. It was told me Saunders----" - -"All right," Eves interrupted. Leaning over Templeton's shoulder he -said: "I say, Bob, it's up to you, old man. You remember that telephone -call. Noakes and Rabbit-skin are in co. Tendering for the camp waste, -you know. He mustn't get in first with a higher tender. Can you hustle -a bit?" - -"I daren't accelerate till we get to the top: daren't waste petrol. But -then----" - -The yacht panted slowly up the last few yards of the hill. When it -reached the top, the green car, enveloped in a cloud of smoke, was -already some three hundred yards ahead, racing along a straight level -stretch of road. It was clear that Saunders had recognised a business -rival in the Irishman, and was urging his car to its utmost speed. - -At the summit a bend in the road had once more brought the wind on the -beam. Eves instantly hoisted the sail, and the yacht in a few moments -gathered way. The road here ran through an open down; there were no -hedges to blanket the yacht; and on the high ground the wind blew with -the force of half a gale. Giving signs of the liveliest excitement, the -Irishman, his hair flying in the wind, bent over the back of Templeton's -seat, and every few seconds shouted the indications of the speedometer, -his voice growing louder as the figures mounted up. -"Ten--fourteen--eighteen--twenty"--he followed the pointer round the -dial, and when it quivered on 33 he swung his arm round, uttering a wild -"Hurroosh!" and was not a whit abashed when Templeton half turned a -rebuking face towards him and warned him of the risk of plunging -overboard. - -There was, in truth, much reason for the man's ebullient spirits. The -engine was switched off: there was little or no vibration; the yacht, as -he afterwards declared, seemed to float along the road. Even when she -had a decided list to starboard, the near wheels leaving the ground, he -laughed as he threw his long body to windward, hanging perilously over -the roadway, while Eves with mouth grim-set kept the bounding craft on a -broad reach. It was soon apparent that she was more than holding her -own with the long car ahead. The cloud of smoke came nearer and nearer, -floating across the road to leeward like the trail from the funnel of a -tramp steamer. - -The green car was running an erratic course more or less in the middle -of the road. Within thirty or forty yards of her Templeton insistently -sounded his horn and drew over to the right, preparing to pass. Next -moment he jammed on his brake hard, with an exclamation seldom heard on -his phlegmatic lips. So far from steering to his own side of the road, -the driver of the car had also pulled across to the right, with the -evident intention of blocking the passage. But for Templeton's -promptitude the bowsprit must inevitably have run into the hood of the -car. The jerk threw the Irishman heavily forward over the back of the -seat, and when he recovered himself he broke into violent objurgation, -which had no more effect on the occupants of the car than the strident -blasts of Templeton's horn. They did not even look round. A -turf-cutter on the moor scratched his head and gazed open-mouthed at the -novel spectacle, and on the other side two affrighted ponies galloped -with tossing manes and tails through and over the whins and gorse. - -For the moment Templeton was baffled. Then Eves, leaning forward, -shouted, to be heard above the roaring of the car: - -"Pass her on the near side, Bob." - -Templeton nodded, reserving for the future his criticism that, in the -circumstances, Eves might more properly have used a nautical term. He -checked the pace still further until nearly fifty yards separated him -from the obstructive car. Then, with his horn at full blast, he -released the brake, and the yacht shot forward. As he had expected, the -car clung still more closely to the off side, leaving only the narrowest -margin between the wheels and the rough edge of the turf. Suddenly, with -a turn of the wheel that caused the yacht to lurch giddily, he switched -on the engine and ran deftly into the open space on the near side. A -yell of delight broke from the Irishman. - -"Sit down and be quiet," shouted Eves, "or we'll capsize yet." - -Noakes had risen in the car, and was bawling in the ear of the -chauffeur. The yacht had drawn level with the car's wind screen before -Templeton's manoeuvre was appreciated. Now, attempting to counter it, -the chauffeur, under Noakes's vehement prompting, edged towards the left -with the object of forcing the lighter-built yacht into the ditch which -on this side parted the roadway from the moor. Perceiving the danger, -Eves, with the capacity for rising to the occasion which had -distinguished him in former enterprises with his friend, instantly eased -the mainsheet: the boom swung out, and came into sharp contact, first -with Noakes's head, then with the wind screen, which it shivered to -fragments. The chauffeur, who had glanced round, ducked his head and in -his flurry gave way for a moment. That moment was long enough. Eves -hauled in the sheet, and the yacht, under the dual impulse of engine and -wind, shot forward and in a few seconds was clear. - -[Illustration: "THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP CONTACT, FIRST -WITH NOAKES'S HEAD, THEN WITH THE WIND SCREEN."] - -"Hurroosh!" yelled the Irishman, standing with difficulty erect in the -swaying vehicle and looking back along the road. "Noakes, if that's the -name of him, is after shaking his fist on us. I wouldn't say but he's -cursing mighty fine, but sure I can't hear him for the noise of the -creature. Saunders and the driver-man might be having a shindy by the -looks of it. His head might be sore on him, and he'll not deserve -it,--the man, I mean: I wouldn't be wasting a word of pity on Saunders -if so be it was him." - -Meanwhile, Templeton, knowing that his petrol would barely last out, had -slowed down. - -"Tell me if they draw up with us," he called over his shoulder. - -"I will, begor," said the Irishman. "She's after doing that same now, -and smoking like a tug on the Liffey." - -"He's driving her hard," added Eves. - -"That's all right," said Templeton. "It's my turn now." - -A bend in the road brought the wind only a few points on the port bow, -and Templeton, sparing his petrol, allowed the yacht to lose way. The -green car, hooting angrily, and leaving a huge trail of smoke, rattled -on at a great pace, and moment by moment lessened the distance between -it and the yacht. But Eves and Templeton between them, by their -dexterous handling of steering wheel and sail, succeeded where the -others had failed. The road was effectively blocked; short of running -the yacht down, with the risk of heavy casualties on both sides, as Eves -remarked, Noakes and his friend had no means of preventing their Irish -competitor from maintaining his lead and coming first to the winning -post. - -For a full mile the yacht zigzagged from one side of the road to the -other. Eves handled the sheet very smartly, but soon found it hopeless -to attempt to cope at once with the gustiness of the wind and the sudden -swerves of the yacht, and finally contented himself with letting the -boom swing freely within a narrow circle, fearing every moment that a -lurch would capsize them all. Another turn in the road again gave them -the wind; the yacht darted forward on a straight course, and the -Irishman reported in high glee that the green car, grunting like Patsy -O'Halloran's pig and snorting like Mike Grady's bull, was dropping -behind as fast as she could run. - -"What's the time?" Templeton called suddenly over his shoulder. - -"Nine minutes to the hour," replied the Irishman, consulting his watch. -"Will we do it?" - -Now that the exciting part of the race was apparently over, he had -become alive to business. Twelve o'clock was the hour named for the -lodging of tenders with the camp commandant; "and with the likes of the -Army," he said, "you might be done if so be you was half a wink late. -It's not that I've a word to say in favour of any matter of punctuality -in the Army; but they're the way of making a mighty fuss over trifles. -It was told me the name they put to it is red tape." - -"We'll do it," said Templeton, "provided, first, the petrol lasts out -the hill ahead; second, there aren't any lorries in the way. But in any -case we must run it fine, you know. You don't want Noakes or Saunders -to get in at all, I take it." - -"Sorra a bit." - -"Would they tender higher than you?" asked Eves. - -"They might." - -"What a pity we didn't give Noakes that message, Bob. Some one at the -camp wanted to give him the tip to cut his tender; there was no other to -hand." - -"The like of that, now, and me having the name of an honest man! Will I -have time enough to write a word or two with the stump of a pencil? I -have my tender in my pocket folded." - -"Better let it alone; we'll keep Noakes off. He's still rattling along, -Bob; do we get the wind up the hill?" - -"I'm afraid not. The road takes an awkward turn; just ahead there, you -see. We'll have to rely on the petrol, and trust to luck." - -The yacht rounded the turn, and the hill came in view--a short sharp -spur about a quarter-mile in length. In a trice they dowsed the sails. -Templeton switched on the engine, intending to rush the incline. Looking -behind somewhat anxiously now, the Irishman declared that the green car -was barging on like a mad steam engine. Roaring like a furnace, it -seemed to leap over the ground, overhauling the yacht yard by yard until -it was three-parts up the hill. Then the clamour suddenly ceased. - -"Begor, she's stopped," cried the Irishman, exultantly. - -"Big ends dropped off," said Templeton, grinning at Eves over his -shoulder. "I gave him fair warning." - -The yacht topped the crest. On the moor to the left a vast assemblage -of huts and tents broke upon the view. By the roadside was parked a row -of motor lorries. Here and there men were moving about. They stared -and shouted to one another at the sight of the strange vehicle sailing -towards them, or rather running now merrily on the last gill of petrol. -Templeton narrowly escaped colliding with the nearest lorry, then slowed -down and enquired the way to the commandant's office. - -"You go in between them huts till you come to a swanky hut with a flag -flying atop," replied the private addressed. "A rum turn-out, this -here." - -Driving on to the moor, Templeton was checked by the sentry, to whom, -however, the Irishman explained that he was Patrick O'Reilly, come to -tender for the camp waste. - -"Pass: you'd better tender for the lot of us: we're all waste here," -said the sentry. "Perhaps if you offered to buy us up they'd demob." - -"I don't like that," said Templeton, gravely, as he drove on. "It's -subversive of discipline." - -"Don't worry," said Eves with a smile. "He saluted all right. It's two -minutes to twelve: we did jolly well, old man." - -Templeton drew up at the commandant's hut. O'Reilly sprang out, and -after a brief colloquy with the sentry, who looked doubtfully at his -bare head and touzled hair, was allowed to enter. In five minutes he -returned, in animated converse with the colonel. That officer, -acknowledging the punctilious salutes of Eves and Templeton, smiled at -the smutty face of the latter, and remarked: - -"This is a queer contrivance of yours, my man. I thought Mr. O'Reilly -was a lunatic when he told me he'd arrived in a yacht, without being -sick, and himself a bad sailor----" - -"I am that," put in O'Reilly, parenthetically. "I wouldn't like to say -how much the Irish Sea is owing me." - -"But I see he's not so mad as I supposed," the colonel went on. - -"Sure you'd be the better of a voyage in her yourself," said O'Reilly. - -"Thank you. I think I prefer the real article. Not many of these -machines in the market, are there?" - -"None, sir," replied Eves, promptly. "It's the first, a brand-new -invention of my friend Templeton here, second lieutenant in the -Blankshire Rifles. He's a repatriated prisoner of war, employing his -leave in working out ideas that germinated in captivity. That accounts -for his being improperly dressed." - -"Indeed! Is this the Mr. Templeton who narrowly escaped gassing my old -friend Colonel Beavis?" - -"A pure accident, sir, due to the colonel's adventurous spirit and a -loose screw. Templeton was very much cut up about it." - -"Dry up!" growled Templeton in a fierce undertone. - -"Well, I congratulate Mr. O'Reilly," said the colonel, his eyes -twinkling. "I gather that but for Mr. Templeton's road yacht he -wouldn't have got here till after twelve, and he seemed a little hurt -when I told him that a few minutes are neither here nor there. One must -give a time limit, of course; but I shouldn't have turned down a good -offer that happened to arrive a few minutes late. But what's this?" - -A crowd of privates, shouting vociferously, was approaching from the -direction of the road. A few words were distinguishable in the babel. -"This way, governor." "Two to one on the long un." And as the throng -turned into the lane between the huts, among the khaki figures appeared -Philemon Noakes and his fur-coated companion, trotting along in feverish -haste. The soldiers fell back as they neared the commandant's hut, and -the two civilians advanced alone. - -"Are you the colonel?" asked Noakes, panting. - -"I am. You want to see me?" - -"I'm the Mayor of Pudlington. This is my friend Ebenezer Saunders, -who's come for to tender for the camp waste." - -"As per advertisement," added Saunders. - -There was something aggressive in each man's manner of speech. The -colonel looked at his wrist watch. - -"The time mentioned was twelve o'clock, gentlemen. It is now eight -minutes past. You are eight minutes too late." - -"You won't draw the line so tight," said Noakes. "A few minutes are -neither here nor there in a matter of this sort, and as the Mayor of -Pudlington---- - -"Excuse me, Mr. Mayor----" - -"But it's all along o' this infernal machine," cried Noakes, angrily, -throwing out his hand towards the road yacht. "It was on the wrong side -o' the road, and we couldn't pass it no-how; obstructing of the king's -highway: that's what it was; and as the Mayor of Pudlington I'll have -the law of them, that I will." - -"Oh, come, Mr. Noakes," said Eves, pleasantly. "You tried that once -before, you know. You remember my friend Templeton, even if you've -forgotten me. As a matter of fact, sir," he added, turning to the -colonel, "they overdrove their car, and the big ends dropped off; -otherwise--well, I shouldn't have been surprised if there'd been a bit -of a scrap somewhere about the top of the hill." - -"There would," said O'Reilly, decisively. "And what's more, it was the -car that blocked the road, and a mighty fine trouble we had, the way -we'd circumvent the creature." - -"It's a scandal," cried Noakes. - -"A regular low-down swindle," shouted the owner of the fur coat. - -"That'll do, sir," said the colonel, sharply. "You'll be good enough to -leave the camp--you and the Mayor of Pudlington." - -Noakes threw at Eves a venomous glance--a glance in which was -concentrated inextinguishable resentment for the unmasking he had -suffered two years before. He made his way with Saunders back to the -road and disappeared. - -"There's more in this than meets the eye," said the colonel, smiling. -"Will you gentlemen come into my hut and tell me something more of the -Mayor of Pudlington?" - -"With pleasure, sir," replied Eves. "Come along, Bob." - -"Really, I must be getting back," said Templeton. "There's the garage, -you know. Besides----" He looked over his dirty overalls and grimy -hands. - -"Well, you'll have to get some petrol; while you're doing that I'll -relate what I know of the life history of Noakes. A splendid rag, old -man," he added, as he turned to follow the colonel. - - - - - *THE COLD WATER CURE* - - - - *I* - - -"We'll get some lunch at my digs," said Templeton, as he started with -Eves on the return journey. "I'll have time to show you one or two -ideas of mine before I am due back at the garage." - -"Oh, I say, Bob, I'd made up my mind to stand you a topping lunch at -some hotel or other. Lunch at digs!" - -Eves's look was eloquent. Templeton smiled gently. - -"There's only one hotel, or rather inn," he said, "and there you can -only get Government beer. It has only domestic rations. Besides, you -don't know my landlady--she's a gem! She expects me, you know, and -she'll have enough for two." - -"'A heart resigned, submissive, meek,'" Eves quoted. "Well, old sport, -I'll try to bear up, and as I've a tremendous appetite after hospital -slops, you know--just buck in, will you?" - -The road being mainly down-hill, and the petrol tank now full, Templeton -had resolved to run back on engine power alone, and had furled the -sails. Just below the crest of the hill they passed the green car, -about which Noakes and his two companions were apparently engaged in a -heated altercation. Noakes scowled fiercely as the road yacht dashed -on. - -"Rummy we should come across that old humbug!" said Eves. "Still -rummier that he should be Mayor of Pudlington. I thought the mayoralty -was the reward for long years of civic virtue. Old Noakes can't have -been here more than a couple of years. How is it you didn't know he was -mayor?" - -"My dear man, I'm not interested in municipal affairs. Besides, I've -only been here a few weeks, and with only two months' leave----" - -"Just so. Like the busy bee, you must improve each shining hour. That -bee must have been a frightful prig." - -"Come, now----" - -"No offence, old bean! Of course he gathered loads of honey, and all -that: a jolly useful life--adventurous, too--saw a lot of the world, -don't you know: always on the move. That part would suit me to a T. -We're both like the bee, you see: you in your industry, and what you may -call stickiness; me in my roving propensity, my incurable levity, my -passion for honeydew--in the form of cigarettes. I say, Bob, I think -I'll write for the magazines. I don't see why my ideas shouldn't be -worth something, as well as yours." - -"What ideas?" - -"That's an unkind cut, after I've been spouting ideas galore. I'm -afraid the mechanical mind will always be blind to the beauties of -literature. 'A primrose by the river's brim'--Steady, old sport, you -nearly capsized us!" Templeton had swung round suddenly into a by-lane. -"I was quoting a sublime passage from one William Wordsworth." - -"Well, never mind him," said Templeton, drawing up in front of a -solitary cottage. "Here we are! Go straight up the stairs--you'll find -a clean towel. I'll tell Mrs. Pouncey you're here, and follow you." - -When the two friends entered the little sitting-room a few minutes later -the landlady, a short, very stout, pleasant-faced woman of sixty or -thereabouts, had just placed two steaming plates of soup on the table. - -"My friend Mr. Eves, Mrs. Pouncey," said Templeton. - -"How d'ye do, Mrs. Pouncey?" said Eves, shaking hands. "Mr. Templeton -has been telling me you're the best cook in the three kingdoms. You -know you did, Bob; don't protest. He's very hard to please, Mrs. -Pouncey, very; and if he's satisfied, you may be sure that a man of my -humbler tastes will be absolutely bowled over." - -"Well, now, I declare I wouldn't have thought it. Mr. Templeton have -never said a single grumble, not one. He's the best young man lodger as -I've ever had, that I will say--no trouble at all!" - -"Ah, Mrs. Pouncey! how many young men lodgers have you said the same -thing about? Your last lodger, for instance, now, confess!" - -"'Deed no, sir. You be very far out. My last lodger was--there, I -couldn't abide en, he was that cantankerous, and such language--I never -did! I know a real gentleman when I see en, and he was nothing but a -make-believe, for all his fur coat. Thankful I am he was only here a few -days, and that to oblige the mayor." - -"Mr. Noakes?" - -"Ay, sure, that be the mayor's name, and well I know it. But do 'ee -take your soup, now, 'twill be cold, and cold soup lays heavy, not to -speak o' the nastiness, and the pork chops grilled to a cinder." - -The good woman had toddled away while speaking, and her last words came -faintly through the open door. - -"Jolly good soup, Bob," said Eves. "And pork chops! Splendid! The old -dame is a treasure. I'll get her to tell us about our worthy mayor." - -Mrs. Pouncey returned with two well-grilled pork chops and a dish of -sprouts and baked potatoes. - -"Absolutely topping, Mrs. Pouncey!" said Eves. "What on earth did your -last lodger find to grumble at, if you treated him like this?" - -"Lor' bless 'ee, sir, he'd grumble at everything, pertickler at the -bill. He'd want a penny took off here, and a penny there: and he would -measure out his tea hisself, and cut his own rashers. I never did see -the like." - -"And a friend of the mayor, too!" - -"Ay, and more'n a friend, so it do seem. 'Tis said here and there 'twas -a gentleman--gentleman, says I, but that's the talk!--a gentleman from -London as have Mr. Noakes in his pocket, so to speak it." - -"Really!" - -"Ay. No wonder you be mazed, the mayor being such a terrible great man -and all. Some folks do rise quick in the world, to be sure. 'Tis only -a matter of two year since he came here, from no one knowed where, and -'a took up a big contrack with the camp for building huts, and running a -canteen, I think they do call it, and I don't know what all. Ay sure, -he've his fingers in many a pie, but I warrant they'll get burnt, they -will!" - -"But how did a stranger become mayor so quickly?" - -"Why, being such a great man, they put him on the Council, and t'other -councillors being little small men, he got over 'em, that's what I say. -Bless 'ee, he'd have got 'em to make him king, if so be there was kings -out of London. Ah, he've a power of money! He bought this cottage that -I've paid rent for regular this twenty year, and he telled me he'd raise -the rent as soon as Parlyment will let him, if not before. And he made -me take this Saunders man for twenty shillings a week, when I've never -had less than twenty-five, never!" - -Apple dumplings called Mrs. Pouncey from the room. When she returned -with them, and Eves wanted to know how the apples got inside the crust, -the dame gave a lengthy explanation which lasted till the conclusion of -the meal. - -"We've a few minutes," said Templeton then. "Come and see my -road-sweeper." - -He led Eves to an old shed at the rear of the premises. On entering, -Eves's eye was caught by a large formless mass of a substance somewhat -resembling putty. - -"Hullo!" he cried. "Been playing with plasticine?" - -"That's another little idea of mine," replied Templeton. "A new fire -extinguisher." - -"You had better form a company, old sport. 'Bright Ideas, Unlimited.' -How's it work?" - -"It's very simple. You let a shallow tank, about a quarter-inch deep, -into the ceiling of a room. The bottom, flush with the plaster, is -pierced with holes like a sieve, the holes are plugged with my -composition, and you run water into the tank. If a fire occurs the heat -melts the composition----" - -"I see! Splendid! Down comes the rain and puts out the fire! But will -the shower last long enough?" - -"Really, I'm surprised at you, Tom! The fall from a tank like that will -be equivalent to an average week's rainfall. But the point of the idea -is the composition. I've tried other preparations without success, but -this stuff of mine sets hard and yet melts easily. By varying the -proportions of the ingredients you can get it to melt at different -temperatures, but I haven't quite finished my experiments in that -direction. The difficulty is to gauge the exact temperature required, -but I'll manage it before long." - -"It hasn't been tried yet in a building, then?" - -"Not exactly; but a decent local builder was rather taken with it when I -showed it to him, and he's giving it a trial at the new Literary -Institute he's putting up. The building was stopped by the war, but he -has already started work again, and he's willing to test the idea before -the plasterers finish. He has rigged up a sort of tray on the laths in -the roof of the big room, and one of these days is going to put a -brazier underneath. You see, if the stuff melts too easily, it will only -mean a slop on the floor, and won't do any damage." - -"I see. What are you going to call the stuff?" - -"Time enough for that when I've perfected the invention and sent in for -my patent. Here's my road-sweeper." - -He pointed to a somewhat rusty vehicle standing against one of the -walls. - -"I'm only waiting for a supply of petrol to try it," he added. "The old -engine uses up a frightful lot. But our allowance is due in to-morrow. -I say, can you stay a day or two? Mrs. Pouncey can put you up." - -"Rather! I've got ten days' leave." - -"That's all right, then. Now we had better get back to the garage. -Wilkins will be in a bait if it's not open sharp at two." - - - - *II* - - -As Templeton drew up in front of the garage, a bill-sticker was posting -a bill on one of the side posts of the gate. The heading, hi large -type, caught Eves's eye, and when he got down to open the gate, he -stayed to read the announcement while Templeton drove through. - -"I say, Bob, there'll be a splendid rag to-morrow," he said on rejoining -his friend. "There's a meeting of parliamentary electors at the new -Literary Institute--a final kick before the election on Saturday. Old -Noakes is in the chair: he's a pacifist, you remember, and the bill -gives short notice that the meeting will be addressed by----" (He -mentioned the name of a notorious agitator.) "We'll go. Ask a few -questions, perhaps." - -"Soldiers in uniform are forbidden to----" - -"Rats! That's all gone by the board. The soldier's a citizen -now-a-days.... I say, is this Wilkins?" - -"My employer," replied Templeton. - -A thick-set man wearing a long coat and a motor cap was coming up the -path. - -"Well, any business a-doing?" he asked of Templeton. - -"There have been two callers: one was a man who'd over-driven his -machine and run short of oil. He was in a tearing hurry, and distinctly -offensive. I did what I could for him, and warned him he'd lose his big -ends if he wasn't careful. Here's the half-crown he paid me." - -"Half-a-crown! No more than that?" - -"Well, he paid what I asked." - -"Rot it all! You didn't ask enough. A feller in a hurry, and likewise -rude, ought to be made to pay. Look 'ee here, Mr. Templeton, you're a -young feller, and have got a thing or two to learn: you'd best get a -notion of charging if you're to be of any use to me." - -"What about that, then?" asked Templeton, handing him a couple of pound -notes. - -"Ah, now, that's better, to be sure! How did 'ee get 'em?" asked -Wilkins, pocketing the notes with a pleased smile. - -"An Irishman wanted to get to the camp in a hurry. He happened to be -polite, so I drove him up in my road yacht. As a matter of fact, we -passed the other fellow in his car: he had picked up your mayor, and I -gathered he was a business rival of the Irishman. I wasn't sorry we -beat him; his big ends dropped off, as I warned him." - -Eves noticed that Wilkins's face grew more and more glum as Templeton -was speaking, and remembered the telephone call he had answered. - -"The Irishman was so pleased that he offered me five pounds," Templeton -went on, "but I thought two pounds was a fair charge." - -"Then dang me if you ain't done me out of three pounds!" cried the man, -irritably. "Did any one ever hear the likes of refusing good money when -'twas offered free? Done me out of three pounds--_three_ pounds, look -'ee, as ought to have been in my pocket! Done me out of it, you have!" - -Eves felt that this outburst was not wholly due to Templeton's -moderation in charging. - -"Well, Mr. Wilkins," said Templeton, quietly, "I'm sorry you're not -satisfied. Perhaps we had better part." - -"I don't say that," said Wilkins, calming himself with an effort. -"You're a gentleman, that's where 'tis, and not bred up to understand -business. I'll say no more--let it bide--but another time don't 'ee go -and refuse good money; that's business. Well, I'm off up along to the -town; know where I can get some petrol on the quiet; that's business -too. I'll be back afore long." - -"You keep queer company, old man!" said Eves, when Wilkins was out of -ear-shot. - -"He's trying at times, I confess--a rough diamond," said Templeton. -"But I think he's sound." - -"I wonder! Somebody wanted him to give Noakes a tip, you remember. He -must be very well in with Noakes, and that's suspicious in itself. His -face was as long as a fiddle when you told him O'Reilly got in ahead of -Noakes." - -"Well, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Now, I've got to make a -new crank pin for a motor cycle that was brought in for repair this -morning. It'll take me some time, and I don't want to keep you hanging -about. Why not go into the town and have a look round?" - -"Righto. What time do you knock off?" - -"Five." - -"I'll call for you, then. So long!" - -At half-past four, when Eves returned, the workshop was lighted by the -two oil lamps which were its only illumination. Templeton had just -finished his work, and was washing his hands at the sink. - -"I've spent a profitable afternoon," said Eves, returning to his seat on -the bench. "Don't think much of Pudlington, but an enquiring mind like -mine can pick up pearls anywhere. I was strolling along when I came to -an uncommonly ugly unfinished building, with 'Literary Institute' carved -over the door. Some fellows were unloading chairs from a cart, and -carrying them in. I went in too, and found your respectable friend the -local builder there, superintending the fitting of some gas-burners. -'Getting ready for the meeting to-morrow?' I said to him. 'Ay, sure, -sir,' said he. 'Town Hall's occypied by Food Controller and Fuel -Controller, and I don't know what all, so the meeting's to be held here, -though unfinished.' 'Rather a cold place,' I said. 'Bless 'ee, we'll -hot 'em up to-morrow,' said he. 'The walls will sweat like you never -see. We've got a proper fine furnace down underneath, and the only pity -is I haven't got the ceiling plastered; 'twould have dried a bit.' -Whereupon I mentioned your proposed experiment with your fire -extinguisher, and the old boy became cordial at once when I told him you -were a friend of mine. You've evidently impressed him, Bob." - -Templeton grunted. - -"It's quite true. To be a friend of yours lifts one a good many -notches. 'That young gemman do have a terrible powerful piece of -intelleck inside of his brain-pan,' says your builder. 'Ay, and what's -more, he's a rare earnest soul, always inventing things for the good of -his day and generation. He's a credit to the nation, that he be!' Of -course I congratulated him and Pudlington on the temporary possession of -so bright an ornament, and we had quite a friendly talk. He seemed -rather doubtful whether it's legal to hold a public meeting in a -building before it has been passed by the surveyor, but Noakes is above -the law, or thinks he is. We'll go to-morrow, Bob: it'll be a good -rag." - -"I'm not sure that I want to go to the meeting," said Templeton. - -"Oh, you must! I want to see Noakes's face when he spies us in the -audience. By the way, I think he must be rather thick with your -Wilkins. Not many minutes after I'd left the Institute I met the green -car being towed along by two great farm horses. Noakes and Saunders were -walking alongside. Noakes gave me his usual scowl as he passed, which I -countered with my usual grin. Presently I walked round to the -market-place, and there was Noakes again, in close confab with Wilkins. -When they saw me they both began to talk at once, and it seemed to me -that each was telling the other that he had the honour of my -acquaintance. At any rate they both looked rather surprised and a good -deal more than interested, and their heads were very close together when -I saw them last." - -"I'm sick of Noakes," said Templeton, somewhat irritably. - -"What's the matter? Has he been here?" - -"No, but half an hour after you left, Wilkins came back with a can of -petrol, and offered it to me for my experiments in a way that was -positively fawning." - -"To make amends for his roughness before." - -"I don't like that sort of thing. It's too much Noakes's way, and what -you say throws light on it. If he and Noakes are pals--well, when I -wangle, even if it's petrol, I like to do it in decent company. I -disliked Wilkins's manner so much that I declined the petrol: told him -I'd wait for the regular supply. The odd thing is that Noakes has not -been here at the shop in my time." - -"Rather lucky for you, for if he'd found you here, he would have told -Wilkins you're a dangerous character, and got you fired out. He may do -that yet." - -"Well, let's get along home. Mrs. Pouncey will have high tea ready, and -I'm ravenous." - -After their meal, which was tea and supper combined, they smoked for an -hour in the sitting-room. Then Templeton jumped up. - -"Botheration!" he exclaimed. "I was going to work on my turbine -specification, but I've left it in a drawer at the shop. I shall have -to pull on my boots again and fetch it." - -"Can't it wait? It's a horrid night." - -"I really can't waste a whole evening. My time's getting short, and I've -lots still to do." - -"Well, I'll come along with you. After supper walk a mile, you know. -It's about a mile there and back, I suppose." - -The night was damp and murky. The country lane was unlit, and they -found their way by intermittent flashes of Templeton's electric torch. -There was no dwelling between Mrs. Pouncey's cottage and the garage, and -at this hour, half-past eight on a winter night, they were not likely to -meet either pedestrians or vehicles. So much the greater, therefore, -was Templeton's surprise, when, on approaching the spot where the garage -and workshop stood, he saw a dim light through the window of the latter. - -"Wilkins went off at half-past three, and said he wouldn't be back -to-night," said Templeton. "I suppose he changed his mind." - -To reach the door they had to pass the window. It was only natural that -Eves, who was on the inside, should glance in. Catching Templeton by the -arm, he drew him back out of the rays of the lamp-light, whispering: - -"There's some one stooping at a drawer, trying a key, apparently. -Couldn't see his face, the light's too dim." - -"It's Wilkins, I expect. No one else has any right here," replied -Templeton. "I'll take a look." - -Peeping round the frame of the window, through the dirty pane, he was -able to distinguish nothing but a man's form at the further end of the -shop. The lamp, hanging from the middle of the roof, was turned very -low, and the bent attitude of the man, with his back three-parts towards -the window, rendered it impossible to discern his features. He was -covered with a long waterproof, and a storm cap was pulled low over his -head. From his movements it was clear that he was trying one key after -another. - -"It's not Wilkins," whispered Templeton. "I never saw him dressed like -that." - -"Then it's a burglar," replied Eves. "Nab him!" - -They moved on tip-toe to the door. Templeton grasped the handle, -murmuring: - -"I'll turn it suddenly--then make a dash!" - -There was absolute quiet all around, and the sound of jingling keys came -faintly through the door. After a few moments' pause Templeton turned -the handle noiselessly, and pushed the door open. The damp weather had, -however, swollen the timber, and the slight sound it made as it strained -against the door-post attracted the attention of the man beyond. Still -stooping over the drawer, he turned his head sharply. - -"My hat! Noakes!" muttered Eves. - -Springing into the shop past Templeton, who had halted on recognising -Noakes, as if to consider matters, Eves dashed at the waterproofed -figure. The moment's warning had enabled Noakes to prepare for attack. -He projected a bony shoulder, prevented Eves from getting the clutch he -intended, and made a rush towards the door. - -"Collar him, Bob!" cried Eves. - -During the next minute there was a rough-and-tumble in which Noakes's -legs played as free a part as was possible to a man encased in a long -waterproof. He displayed astounding agility in evading close action, -and it was not until Eves caught him by the heel as he kicked out that -he was brought to the ground. "I'll sit on him," said Eves. "Ring up -the police station, Bob, and ask them to send a constable to arrest a -burglar." - -"But are you sure--" Templeton began. - -"Don't argue," said Eves. "He's a desperate character; I can hardly -hold him." - -Templeton went to the telephone, lifted the receiver, then turned again -towards Eves. - -"Don't you think, as it's Mr. Noakes----" he said. - -"Mr. Noakes! The Mayor of Pudlington?" interrupted Eves. "Picking -locks! Nonsense! Ring up at once, Bob, and then come and help: the -ruffian will be too much for me, just out of hospital." - -Templeton gave the message. - -"They'll send a man at once. He'll be here in about ten minutes," he -reported. "Are you sure it isn't Mr. Noakes? I could have sworn I -recognised him." - -"So I am--so I am," panted the prisoner, who had hitherto struggled in -silence. "What the Turk do 'ee mean by assaulting me--murderous -assault--Mayor of Pudlington?" - -"Now, now, don't be rash!" said Eves. "You won't make matters any better -by pretending to be our worthy mayor. He won't like that, you know, -when you're brought into court to-morrow. I shall have to give -evidence, and when I tell him that the fellow caught rifling a drawer -took his name in vain----" - -"But I be the mayor--Philemon Noakes; and I'll send you to jail for -assault and battery, without the option of a fine. Let me go! I'm the -mayor, I tell 'ee!" - -"I really think he's telling the truth," said Templeton. - -Just then Noakes, kicking out, dealt Templeton a heavy blow on the -ankle. - -"You had better lie still, whoever you are!" said the latter, warmly. -"Violence won't help you!" - -"Of course not--only makes things ten times worse!" said Eves. "Catch -his legs, Bob; if he isn't quiet we'll have to truss him up. I never -came across such an impudent scoundrel. Here's a burglar, caught in the -act, claiming to be the chief magistrate! That beats everything! How's -it possible? I say, Bob, there'll be a queer scene in court to-morrow. -Suppose it were true, I can't for the life of me see how the mayor on -the bench and the criminal in the dock are going to arrange matters. -Will he hop from one to the other, and finally sentence himself? That's -a Jekyll and Hyde problem I can't solve. But here's somebody -coming--the bobby, I expect." - -Through the half-open door came a policeman, with handcuffs hanging from -his wrists. - -"Here he is, constable!" said Eves. "He's been struggling, but I dare -say he'll go quietly." - -"Now then, there," said the constable, "get up and come along quiet. -We've been looking for you a month past. Who gives him in charge?" - -"I do," said Eves, "though I suppose Mr. Templeton ought to do it. You -know Mr. Templeton, constable? Temporary assistant to Mr. Wilkins." - -"Ay, sure, I've seed the gentleman." Noakes had now risen, and stood -before the constable, Eves on one side, Templeton on the other. His -face, hitherto in shade, had come within the rays of the dim lamp. - -"Daze me!" said the constable, after a hard stare. "Surely--ay, 'tis -the mayor, with the beginning of a black eye!" - -[Illustration: "'DAZE ME!' SAID THE CONSTABLE. 'SURELY--AY, 'TIS THE -MAYOR.'"] - -"Of course I'm the mayor!" said Noakes, truculently. "These young -ruffians have assaulted me. I give them in charge, Brown." - -"That's cool!" said Eves. "Don't pay any attention to him, constable. -He's mad, or intoxicated. Mr. Templeton had occasion to come back to -the shop, and we found this fellow in the act of trying to open a drawer -where Mr. Templeton keeps important papers. He got a bit ruffled, of -course. He says he's the mayor, but is that likely? Take him to the -station, constable: we'll give the superintendent the facts." - -"He's the mayor, or his double," said the constable. "And as to -arresting the mayor----" - -"Don't be a fool, Brown," said Noakes. "It's all a mistake--and a -mistake that'll cost these young ruffians dear. I came here to see -Wilkins, and afore I could get a word out, they knocked me down and nigh -squeezed the breath out of me." - -"And Wilkins knows that you open his drawers in his absence?" said Eves. -"Are these your keys, Bob, or Wilkins's?" - -He held up the bunch of keys which Noakes had dropped. - -"Neither," said Templeton. "Mine are in my pocket: Mr. Wilkins no doubt -has his." - -"Well, jown me if I know what to do!" said the constable. "You'd better -all come along and charge each other, seems to me!" - -"What's all this?" said a voice at the door. - -Wilkins entered breathlessly. - -"They rang me up from the station, and told me there was burglars in my -shop. Where be they? Mr. Noakes, what have been going on? What have -come to your eye?" - -"You may well ask, Wilkins. I came to have a word with you about that -estimate, you know----" Wilkins tried to look as if he knew--"and these -fellows, one an assistant of yours, I understand, set on me and half -murdered me--took me for a burglar, ha! ha!" - -"He was trying his keys on this drawer, Mr. Wilkins," said Eves. - -"And why not?" demanded Wilkins, indignantly. "Why not, I ask 'ee? -'Tis my drawer, I keep my papers there, and Mr. Noakes having come to -see me about an estimate, of course he saves time and gets the estimate -out ready." - -"And Brown will take 'em in charge for an unprovoked assault," said -Noakes. - -"Well, now, Mr. Noakes," said Wilkins, soothingly, "I wouldn't go so far -as that. Not if it was me. It do seem 'twas a mistake. They took 'ee -for a burglar--a nat'ral mistake, that's what it was, and my advice to -one and all is, let it bide and say no more about it. We don't want no -newspapers getting a hold of things like this. Won't do none of us no -good--that's what I say." - -Eves was loth to let Noakes go scot free, but after a whispered -consultation with Templeton, who pointed out the improbability of any -magistrate being induced to believe, in face of Wilkins's explanation, -that the mayor was a burglar, he grudgingly agreed to withdraw the -charge. Templeton took the precaution of removing all his own papers -from the drawer, and leaving Noakes with Wilkins, returned with Eves to -Mrs. Pouncey's cottage. - -"So much for your rough diamond!" said Eves. "Noakes evidently didn't -know before to-day that you were here, and when I saw him confabbing -with Wilkins he was no doubt asking all about you. Wilkins must have -told him about your inventions, and he thought a visit to your drawer -would give him an idea or two, and enable him to get in first with a -patent." - -"But you don't suppose Wilkins was in the plot?" - -"I don't know about that, but he's clearly under Noakes's thumb. Some -one said that you know a man by the company he keeps. Wilkins keeps -uncommonly bad company." - -"I'm disappointed in him, I confess," said Templeton. "To-morrow I'll -give him a week's notice, and work on my own for the rest of my leave." - - - - *III* - - -Next morning Templeton, after breakfast, went to the workshop as usual, -leaving Eves to his own devices until lunch-time. Eves spent an hour -pottering about in the shed, and was particularly interested in the fire -extinguishing composition. - -"Rummy old sport!" he thought. "I suppose he will strike something -really good one of these days, and be a bloated millionaire while I'm -pinching on a miserable pension. Wonder what temperature this stuff -melts at, by the way." - -He found, standing against the wall, a metal tray pierced with holes -which had been plugged with the composition. A thermometer hung on a -nail. - -"Hanged if I don't experiment on my own account!" he thought. - -He filled the tray with water from the pump in Mrs. Pouncey's garden, -laid it on an iron tripod which he found in the shed, and obtaining some -firewood and coke from Mrs. Pouncey, kindled a small fire in an iron -brazier. This he put underneath the tray, hanging the thermometer from -the tripod. In a few minutes a sizzling informed him that water was -trickling through the holes, and lifting the thermometer, he discovered -that it registered 76°. - -"By George! What a rag!" he exclaimed. "I wonder if it can be done! -Mustn't tell Bob, though!" - -He put out the fire, emptied the brazier and the tray, replugged the -holes and removed all traces of his experiment. Then he walked into the -town, and made his way to the Literary Institute. - -"Good morning, Mr. Johnson," he said to the builder, whom he found -reading a newspaper in the large hall, and smiling broadly. "You've got -all ready for to-night, I see. How many will the place hold?" - -"Two hundred and fifty, or thereabouts," said the builder. - -"That's about the whole able-bodied population of Pudlington, isn't it?" - -"Why no, sir, not with the women folk. They've got votes now-a-days, and -there be more women voters than men, seemingly. Have 'ee seen the -_Echo_, sir?" - -"Your local rag? Anything in it?" - -"A rare bit o' news that you won't see every week. Look 'ee here." - -He handed the _Pudlington Echo_ to Eves, pointing to a paragraph headed -with large type. - - - "MISTAKEN FOR A BURGLAR - - "AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF THE MAYOR - -"Our worthy mayor was involved in an awkward predicament last night. In -pursuance of an appointment with Mr. Wilkins, of the British Motor -Garage, he arrived at the workshop between eight and nine o'clock, and -was awaiting the proprietor, when he was suddenly seized and thrown down -by a young man in the uniform of a second lieutenant, who had come up in -company with Mr. Wilkins's assistant, and, not familiar with the mayor's -lineaments, had mistaken him for a burglar. The police were telephoned -for, and Constable Brown, on reaching the scene, found himself in an -unenviable position, between cross-charges of burglary and common -assault. The tension was relieved by the arrival of Mr. Wilkins, who -saw at once that a pardonable mistake had been made by his assistant and -the young officer, and by the exercise of his accustomed tact succeeded -in bringing both parties to an amicable understanding. We have -unfortunately to record that in the regrettable fracas our mayor -sustained an ocular abrasion, the consequences of which, while -temporarily disfiguring, will, we trust, be otherwise negligible. As a -comparative newcomer Mr. Noakes may not be aware that he is in good -company. Those familiar with the chronicles of our ancient borough will -remember the historic bout between Ted Sloggins and Jemmy Wild, the -prizefighter once Mayor of Pudlington, when the latter was knocked out -in the tenth round with two broken ribs and a black eye." - - -"That's a nasty one!" said Eves, returning the paper. - -"That last bit, sir? True, I feel it so--very nasty indeed. That -feller have got his knife into the mayor, in a sly sort of way." - -"Mr. Noakes isn't very popular, then? The local paper would hardly give -a dig at a popular mayor." - -"Well, sir, to tell 'ee the truth, there's two parties, one for and one -against. Mr. Noakes is almost a newcomer, and some folks don't take -kindly to his pushing ways. I don't myself, I own it. He's near driven -me off my head over this meeting, and though I'd do anything in the way -of business, I don't hold with his views. He was one of they 'Stop the -War' kidney, and though goodness knows I'd 'a stopped the war, having a -son over in France, I wouldn't stop it a moment afore we'd done what we -set out to do, and thankful I am our lads have done it. That there -young officer last night"--he smiled--"was you, I take it, sir." - -"The curtain's dropped over that, Mr. Johnson," said Eves. "By the way, -you were going to try Mr. Templeton's new fire extinguisher. Have you -rigged up the apparatus?" - -"Ay, sure, 'tis all ready. Come up along, and I'll show 'ee. I'll try -it next week, just afore I plaster the ceiling." - -He took Eves to the floor above, and showed him, between the workmen's -planks and the matchboard, a large shallow tank of sheet iron resting on -the rafters. It was filled with water, and the builder explained that -the holes in the bottom had been plugged with the composition a week -before. - -"Most ingenious," said Eves, making a mental note of the position of the -tank. "If it answers, I suppose you will make a tank to cover the whole -of the ceiling." - -"Surely, and put it into every house, hall or church I build." - -"Johnson, where are you?" came a call from below. - -"'Tis Mr. Noakes himself, come to bother me again!" said Johnson in an -undertone. Aloud he cried: "Coming, Mr. Noakes, coming! ... Belike -you'll bide here a bit," he added with a smile. - -"I'm not keen on meeting your worthy mayor," replied Eves. "I'll come -down when he's gone." - -Through the matchboard Eves clearly heard the conversation between the -two men. - -"Look 'ee here, Johnson," began Noakes, irritably, "this won't do. The -place is as cold as an ice-house, and my orders was to heat en well. -Folks won't be no good listening to speeches if they're all of a -shiver." - -"Why, bless 'ee, Mr. Noakes, 'tis only ten o'clock. There's plenty of -time to get the room comfortable warm by seven. The furnace is going, -and you don't want the place like a greenhouse, do 'ee? Folks 'ud all -drop asleep." - -"There's a medium, Johnson. I count on you to regulate the furnace so's -we're cosy-like. 'Tis a raw morning, and 'twill be worse to-night. -Keep the furnace going steady, and come four o'clock shet all the -winders to keep out the night air." - -"But what about ventilation? If so be there's a good audience you'll -have women fainting, and I don't know what all." - -"There'll be plenty of ventilation through the matchboard," said Noakes, -looking upward. "Besides, we've always the winders to cool the air if -need be, but if you ain't got a good fire--why there you are! See that -my orders are carried out, Johnson." - -"Very good. You shall have it like an oven if you like: 'tis not for me -to say." - -Noakes, whose face suggested the recent application of a beefsteak, -inspected the rows of chairs, mounted the platform and re-arranged the -table, scolded the charwoman who had left her dust-pan on the chairman's -seat, and finally departed. Then Eves rejoined the builder. - -"They'll be warm afore they gets to work," said the latter, smiling, -"And if so be there's any opposition, I won't say but what tempers 'll -rise to biling point. However!" - -"A queer man, your mayor!" said Eves. "By the way, I'd like to have a -look at your furnace." - -"Surely, sir. Come wi' me." - -He led Eves into the basement, where a young man in shirt-sleeves was -stoking the fire. - -"I'll have to keep 'ee to-night, Fred," said the builder, "and sorry I -be to say it, but the mayor's just been talking to me, and wants the -place hotted up. You must stay till eight, my lad, and leave a good -fire when you go: there's no telling how long the speechifying will -last; these 'lection meetings are that uncertain." - -The stoker brushed his arm across his damp brow, and muttered something -uncomplimentary of the mayor. Johnson expounded to Eves the merits of -his heating system, and followed him up the stairs again. - -"The mayor's a busy man just now," said Eves. "Isn't there some sort of -a ceremony coming on?" - -"Ay, so 'tis, a ceremony that's come down from very ancient days, very -ancient indeed, when we was all heathens, so it seems. 'Tis the -anointing of the British Stone, they do call it, a rare old block of -granite all by itself in a field some way north o' the town. Nobody -knows how it come there, but 'tis said there was a battle on the spot, I -don't know how many hundred years ago, and a whole cemetery of bones -down below. Whatever the truth is, the mayor and corporation marches -out in full rig once a year, and the mayor breaks a bottle o' cider, the -wine o' the country, atop of the stone. I say 'tis just an excuse for a -randy, for they make a sort of fair o't, wi' stalls and merry-go-rounds, -and I don't know what all. There won't be so much fun as usual this -year, though, owing to shortage of sugar for sweets and cakes and such. -Still, maybe 'twill be worth your seeing, being so ancient." - -"Rather! I'm tremendously keen on rags, ancient or modern. I'll be -there!" - -Eves bade the builder good-bye at the door of the hall, and the latter -went up the street to his office. As soon as his back was turned, Eves -hastened below to the furnace room. - -"Pretty thirsty work, isn't it?" he said to the man. "I don't wonder -you're not keen to be kept so long at it." - -"'Tisn't that, sir," said the stoker. "The truth o't is I was going to -take my girl to the cinema to-night. It begins at seven, and she'll be -in a taking, 'cos they're showing some war pictures, and I'm in one of -'em, and she's mad on seeing me, though I tell her I ain't doing -nothing, only looking down my nose at a blooming Hun prisoner." - -"Naturally she wants to see you, and squeeze your hand, and--you know. -I should myself. Well, I'll tell you what. I'll come about 6.45 and -release you." - -The man stared. - -"I mean it, no kid," Eves went on. "I intended coming to the meeting, -but there'll be nothing very interesting until half time, and the -stoking will be finished by then." - -"But you'll mess your clothes, sir, not to speak of your hands." - -"Oh, no! I'll see to that. Besides, you know, we didn't fret ourselves -about dirt in the trenches. That's all right, then, and look here--get -your young woman a box of chocolates, a pound box--all one price, four -shillings. She'll like your picture all the more." - -He handed the man a couple of half-crowns, cut short his effusive -thanks, and made his way back to the cottage. - -"Bob come home, Mrs. Pouncey?" he asked the old dame. - -"Not yet, sir, and I do hope he won't be late, for I've got as tender a -loin of young pig as ever I've roasted." - -"Capital! I'm ravenous, I always am. It's a disease, Mrs. Pouncey. -Don't I show it in my face?" - -"Bless your heart, sir, your face does me good: it do look so happy!" - -"Happy thoughts, old dear. I've had a particularly happy thought all -the morning, and it shines out on my ingenuous countenance. Some folks -never show anything, you know. My friend Templeton, now--ah! here he -is! Roast pork, Bob--hurry up!" - - - - *IV* - - -After early supper that evening, Eves and Templeton, giving each an arm -to Mrs. Pouncey, set off for the Literary Institute. The good woman was -greatly excited at the prospect of giving her vote for the first time -next day, and had announced her intention of voting for "the gentleman," -whereupon Eves had reproached her, with well-assumed severity. - -"That is not the right spirit, I am sure of it," he said. "You are -going to exercise for the first time the priceless privilege, or right, -or duty, of the franchise: a most solemn responsibility, Mrs. Pouncey. -Yet you have made up your mind to vote for 'the gentleman' without -considering what views he professes, and without hearing the other side, -which may be one of Nature's gentlemen." - -"I like 'em best bred, same as pig," said Mrs. Pouncey, stoutly. - -"I don't dispute your taste," returned Eves, "but I think you owe it to -the principle of fair play at least to hear what the other fellow may -have to say. This is your last chance: to-morrow is the fatal day: like -the man in the poem, you must make up your mind between truth and -falsehood, 'twixt the good and evil side." - -"Oh! how you do talk, Mr. Eves!" said Mrs. Pouncey. "I'll go, then, to -please you, and I hope as I shan't be sorry for it." - -"I don't think you will; in fact I think you will have quite a pleasant -entertainment. Mr. Noakes has insisted on the hall being warm and -cosy-like, and the chairs are quite good. I'll find you a good place at -the back of the hall." - -"Not too far back, then, for my hearing bain't what it was." - -"But your eyes are good--wonderfully good for a lady of forty or so. -You shall sit where you can hear--and see--everything." - -Templeton had privately taken Eves to task for persuading the old dame -to venture out on a cold night; but Eves had only chuckled. - -The young officers were both in mufti, Eves having borrowed an old suit -from his friend. - -It was twenty minutes to seven when they reached the hall. The first -few rows of chairs were already occupied, and people were streaming in. -Eves piloted Mrs. Pouncey to a seat in the middle of the sixth row from -the back wall. - -"It do be warmish, to be sure," she said, removing her tippet. - -"Thanks to the mayor! Bob, look after Mrs. Pouncey. I'll be back -presently." - -He dodged his way through the incoming stream, and disappeared. - -Templeton sat beside Mrs. Pouncey, looking around the audience with an -air of mild interest, and quite unconscious that the good lady was -basking in the glory reflected upon her by the companionship of the -"young feller as had his name in the paper." She nodded and smiled at -her friends and acquaintances, and bridled visibly when she saw heads -put together, nods in her direction, curious glances at Templeton, and -lips whispering into ready ears. - -The hall gradually filled. Tradesmen of the town, farmers from the -outskirts, a sprinkling of khaki, and a considerable number of women, -occupied all the chairs, and overflowed into the aisles along the walls. -Conversation buzzed; the broad Doric of the county mingled quaintly with -the north-country burr and the cockney twang of the soldiers whom chance -had camped in the neighbourhood. - -"Where be Mr. Eves, I wonder?" said Mrs. Pouncey, presently. She was in -truth disappointed. "Mr. Templeton was a nice young gentleman, to be -sure" (so she afterwards confided to a gossip), "but he was that -quiet--well, you didn't like to speak to him promiscous-like, for fear -you spoiled the high thoughts a-rooting in his mind. But that Mr. Eves, -now--well, you weren't afeared of high thoughts with him. He was a -merry feller, that he was, full of his fun; and talk--my dear, you -should have heard him; 'twas just as if you poured out a kettle till it -run dry, and the most beautiful long words, I do assure 'ee." - -"Where be Mr. Eves, I wonder?" - -The question roused Templeton from his abstracted scrutiny of the -audience. He glanced at his watch; it was two minutes to seven. Some -of the soldiers were already stamping their feet and calling "Time!" He -looked up and down the hall, along the walls, into the doorway. Eves -was not to be seen. A misgiving seized him. Eves had been very keen on -coming to this meeting. Was he contemplating a "rag"? The idea made -Templeton perspire. - -An outburst of cheers and clapping of hands drew his attention from his -uneasy thoughts. The platform party had arrived. Noakes, wearing his -chain of office, stepped first on to the platform. He was followed by a -lean, hungry-looking man with fiery eyes, clean-shaven, his reddish hair -brushed up from the scalp. Templeton recognised the features of a -fanatical agitator whose portrait had appeared in the picture papers. -The local Labour candidate, a burly fellow with a jolly red face and -closely trimmed beard, took his seat beside the speaker of the evening, -and the remaining chairs on the platform were occupied by his principal -supporters, male and female. - -The cheers subsided, and the mayor rose. In the silence a high-pitched -voice enquired from the rear of the hall, "Who said burglar?" Some of -the audience laughed, some cried "Shame!" and a shrill cry of "It wasn't -me!" and a scuffle announced that the chucker-out had proved more than -equal to the occasion. Noakes smiled blandly until the noise had -ceased: then he began. - -"Ladies and gentlemen." - -But there is no need to report his opening speech, which indeed was -unusually brief for a chairman's. Templeton had begun to think better -of him, until, after announcing that he would not stand between the -audience and their great comrade from London, he said that, when the -speech of the evening was finished, he would venture to make a few -remarks by way of applying its principles to local circumstances. He -then introduced his friend and comrade, and sat down. - -Nor is it worth while, perhaps, to follow the "comrade from London" -through his hour's declamation. "The fellow could speak," said -Templeton, afterwards, "and what he said wasn't all rot. But it was -full of the most hopelessly unpractical ideas, streaked with a vein of -bitterness against every thing and every body, and absolutely vitiated -for me by the assumption that every rich man is a knave, and every poor -man a martyr. Noakes ought to have let well alone, but he tried to dot -the i's and simply provoked Eves's question. If he had closed the -meeting after the big speech, there'd have been no trouble." - -Whether it was that the bucolic mind moved too slowly to keep pace with -the orator's flying periods, or that the townsmen from London and the -North were spell-bound by his fervid eloquence, or simply that the -growing heat of the hall induced lethargy; certain it is that the -meeting was quite orderly and decorous during the great speech. Not -until the chairman was again on his feet did trouble arise, and that was -due to a simple question put by Eves. But we must go back a little. - -When Eves descended into the furnace room, and released the stoker, he -stripped off coat, waistcoat and collar, rolled up his shirt-sleeves, -and started energetically upon his self-assumed task. Hardly two -minutes had elapsed when he heard a rasping voice behind him. - -"That's the way. Keep it going steady, my man. There's a thermometer -on the wall just inside the hall; run up every now and again and take a -look at it: never let it drop below 60°." - -"Ay sure," said Eves, counterfeiting the local brogue, and Noakes, who -had been standing on the bottom step, went away gratified that his -orders were being carried out so well. - -"Not below 60°!" said Eves under his breath. "Sixteen degrees to go! -Well, it's a long, long way to Tipperary, but my heart is _there_!" And -he ladled coal and coke into the furnace with the fresh enthusiasm of an -amateur. - -It occurred to him that if he was to slip up into the hall for the -purpose of examining the thermometer it would be just as well to look -the part he was playing. So he smeared his face and arms, and what was -visible of his shirt, with coal dust, much assisted by the dampness of -his perspiring skin. - -He paid his first visit to the thermometer just as the meeting opened. -It hung on the wall near a group of Tommies who had been unable to -obtain seats. They eyed him with a certain humorous sympathy. The -thermometer registered 62°. - -During the hour-long oration Eves was up and down several times, noting -with satisfaction that the mercury was steadily rising, yet a little -doubtful whether it would reach the critical point before the close of -the meeting. He noticed towards the end of the hour that the heat was -telling on some members of the audience. Women were fanning themselves; -two or three plethoric farmers had fallen asleep: all the Tommies had -unbuttoned their tunics. "Some fug, mate!" one of them remarked in a -stage whisper. Eves only smiled in answer; he had seen that the mercury -now touched 74°, and having stoked up the furnace to its full capacity, -was satisfied that he could do no more, and stood among the soldiers. - -The great speech ended in wild and whirling words: the speaker sat down -amid applause, and Noakes arose. - -"Now, my friends, we've heard a terrible fine speech, that we have, and -I agree with every word of it. Afore I call upon our candidate--he'll -be our member to-morrow--to propose a vote of thanks to our comrade, -I've a thing or two to say for to bring it home to the hearts o' the men -and women o' Pudlington. Capitalism, as he truly said, is the deadly -poison as is driving a nail into the roots o' the nation: I couldn't say -better nor that. Well, then, neighbours all, what I do say is, don't -'ee go and vote for no capitalist as belongs to a covey of profiteers, -birds of prey as peck out the vitals o' the widder and the orphan. Ah, -neighbours! my heart bleeds as I think o' the poor lone widder woman as -pays dear for her bread, and can't get no cheese, scraping to pay the -rate collector as he----" - -"Who raised Widow Pouncey's rent?" came a clear voice from the back of -the hall. - -The mayor paused, and cast a swift glance in the direction of the -questioner. He had recognised the voice, and sought for that -well-remembered figure in officer's khaki. The somnolent audience was -roused, every head was turned, many people had risen from their seats. -Mrs. Pouncey, who had been dozing, her head constantly wobbling over -towards Templeton's shoulder, suddenly sat erect, and exclaimed with a -cry of delight: "That's Mr. Eves at last, bless him!" Eves himself, -having launched his question, and ascertained that the mercury stood at -75°, turned with a smile towards the eager Tommies who wanted to know -all about Widow Pouncey. - -Noakes recovered from the shock before the first thrill of excitement -had passed off. - -"'Tis low manners to interrupt," he said in his smoothest tones, still -trying to discover Eves's whereabouts, but in vain. "I was a-going to -say----" - -"Answer the question!" came in a chorused roar from the soldiers. "Who -raised Widow Pouncey's rent?" - -"Shall I tell 'em, sir?" whispered Mrs. Pouncey. - -"No, no!" advised Templeton, anxious to avoid publicity. "Better say -nothing." - -"Ay, I be that shy, and the room so terrible hot." - -"As chairman of this meeting," said Noakes, with a patient smile, "I -rule that questions can't be asked now." - -"Who--raised--Widow--Pouncey's--rent?" sang the Tommies, to the tune of -"Here we suffer grief and pain" _da capo_. - -"Who was it, mate?" asked one of them. - -"I dare say he'll tell us presently," said Eves, "if you keep it up a -little longer." - -He had his eyes on the thermometer. - -The "comrade from London" got up and spoke earnestly in Noakes's ear, -while the chorus continued. The mayor gave a sickly smile and held up -his hand. There was silence. - -"My friend on my right," said the mayor, "reminds me as there's nothing -more powerful than the truth." - -"Righto!" yelled the Tommies. "Who--raised----" - -"_Nobody!_" shouted the mayor. "'Tis a lie!" - -"What's a lie?" cried one of the men. The others looked enquiringly at -Eves. - -"I say 'tis a lie!" repeated the mayor. "Mrs. Pouncey pays me five -shilling a week, the same as she's paid----" - -He stopped, for three parts of the way down the hall there rose a stout -figure, with face flushed and bonnet awry. There was a moment's -breathless silence, then Mrs. Pouncey, with forefinger outstretched -towards the mayor, spoke out. - -"Ay, the same as I've paid honest for twenty year, afore ever you come -into the town, and 'twas you as said 'twould be doubled as soon as -Parlyment lets you, if not afore, and not a word of a lie in it, Mr. -Noakes." - -The old woman collapsed into her seat, amid murmurs of "Shame!" - -"Good old Mrs. Pouncey!" "Who said profiteer?" "Noakes raised Widow -Pouncey's rent!" "Chuck him out!" "Get out, old crocodile!" - -The hall rang with various cries. Eves, smiling broadly, glanced at the -thermometer The mercury touched 76°. Noakes leant forward over the -table, and shaking his fists, roared: - -"As chairman of this meeting, and Mayor of Pudlington, here I be, and -here I bide." - -He started back suddenly, putting a finger between his collar and his -neck, and looking upward. Next moment he dropped his head and brushed a -drop of water from his nose. Several of the platform party turned their -faces up, started back, and upset their chairs. Two or three thin -streams of water, as from the eyelets in the spray of a shower bath, -were descending from the unplastered ceiling. Noakes edged a little to -the left, and was opening his mouth again, when with a hiss and clatter -like a heavy shower of rain upon a glass house, the whole contents of -Templeton's experimental tank poured down between the laths of the -matchboard. Noakes gasped and spluttered, the ladies of his party -shrieked, all the occupants of the platform stampeded like a flock of -sheep, overturning their chairs, obstructing one another in their mad -flight for the stairs. For one moment of amazement the audience was -silent; then a roar of inextinguishable laughter broke from nearly three -hundred throats, whistles and cat-calls resounded, the Tommies looked -round for the stoker, whom, by some obscure instinct or intuition, they -connected with the catastrophic shower. But Eves had slipped away. - -[Illustration: "THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON'S EXPERIMENTAL TANK -POURED DOWN."] - - -A special Election Edition of the _Pudlington Echo_ appeared next day, -and was bought up eagerly by the crowds who, in spite of the pouring -rain, had flocked into the town to record their votes. The Editor had -filled half a column with a descriptive paragraph in his best style. - - - - "SHOWER BATH AT A MEETING - - "REMARKABLE INCIDENT - - "THE MAYOR MISSES HIS UMBRELLA - -"The meeting at the Literary Institute in support of the candidature of -Mr. Benjamin Moggridge was broken up by a most remarkable unrehearsed -effect, which is probably without parallel in the political life of this -country. The mayor, Alderman Noakes, was in the act of protesting, with -all the dignity pertaining to his exalted office, against the demands of -certain unruly spirits that he should vacate the chair, when a quantity -of water, calculated to be equal to a rainfall of 2.8 ins., descended -with startling suddenness and almost tropical violence upon the -platform, bringing the meeting to a summary end. We understand that -this inauspicious close to Mr. Moggridge's campaign was due to the -unexpected operation of a new fire extinguisher, which the builder, our -well-known and respected fellow citizen Mr. James Johnson, had located -above the hall with a view to experimenting on a suitable occasion. The -premature exhibition of this remarkable invention, which promises to be -an epoch-making success, appears to have originated in the laudable -desire of Mr. Noakes that the large audience should be in no way -inconvenienced by the inclemency of the weather. His orders that the -hall, which, in its unfinished state, might otherwise have sown the -seeds of dangerous and possibly fatal complaints, should be heated to a -wholesome degree of temperature, were carried out with what proved to be -supererogatory solicitude; but our worthy mayor will doubtless console -himself for his temporary discomfiture--the second this week, it will be -remembered--with the reflection that the efficacy of the new fire -extinguisher was abundantly demonstrated, and that the future immunity -of the Literary Institute from the ravages of the devouring monster is -assured." - - - - - *A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY* - - - - *I* - - -Eves was dozing comfortably beneath a pile of blankets. It was a cold -morning, and though he had been awakened when Templeton rose from the -adjacent bed, he had merely snorted in reply to his friend's declaration -that it was time to get up, and turned over on the other side. - -His slumbering ears were just conscious of a shout from below; but he -paid no heed to it, even when it was repeated. He was settling down in -luxurious warmth to that early morning sleep which so deliciously rounds -off the night's repose, when two sinewy hands wrenched away the -bedclothes wherein he had rolled himself, and Templeton shouted: - -"Get up, you slugabed. It's come!" - -"Cover me up, confound you!" cried Eves, wrathfully. "I shall catch my -death of cold." - -"Get up. I've been dressed half an hour. It's come, I tell you." - -Eves bent his knees and pulled his pyjamas down over his ankles. - -"I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't care. Mrs. -Pouncey"--he raised his voice--"come and drag this murdering ruffian -away. He's giving me pneumonia." - -"Don't be an ass, Tom. Breakfast is nearly ready, and as the nozzle has -just come by parcel post, I want to fix it and see how it works before I -go off to the shop." - -"You and your inventions will be the death of me," grumbled Eves, -hugging himself. Then with a sudden movement he caught up his pillow, -slammed it at Templeton's head, followed it up with a rush, and began to -throw off his pyjamas. "Get out!" he cried. "I'll tub and dress in -five minutes--not for you, old greaser, but for the bacon I smell -frying." - -"Well, I'll have time to fit on the nozzle before you're down." - -He dashed out of the room, took the staircase in three resounding leaps, -and ran bare-headed through the rain to the shed. - -Eves smiled as he watched him through the window. - -"Old Bob's excited this morning," he thought. "Another rag, I wonder?" - -Templeton's usual stolidity was in fact quite broken down by the arrival -of the nozzle made to his own design, for which he had been waiting in -order to complete his reconstruction of the ancient road-sweeper. At -breakfast he was too much excited to do full justice to the dish of -bacon and eggs which the excellent Mrs. Pouncey had provided. - -"It's just the thing, Tom," he cried. "It fits perfectly, and I believe -the old 'bus will go like one o'clock. The only thing left, if it does -work, is to complete my specification and fire it in at the Patent -Office." - -"I don't see that. Nobody wants a road-sweeper to go like a -Rolls-Royce." - -"You don't understand. I'm not out for making road-sweepers. I only -bought the old thing to experiment on. It's the reversible steering I'm -going to patent. Look here; here's my rough draft. That'll give you an -idea of what I'm driving at." - -Eves took the paper handed to him, and read aloud: - - -"'I, Robert Templeton, of the Red House, Wonston, Hampshire, in the -Kingdom of England, lately a lieutenant in His Majesty's Forces, do -hereby declare the nature of this invention and in what manner the same -is to be performed to be particularly described and ascertained in and -by the following----' - - -Oh, I say! I can't wade through all this balderdash. Tell me in plain -English what you're after." - -"Well, in plain English, then, my motor is provided with two sets of -steering-gear, and the clutch couplings are so arranged that I can -engage one and disengage the other simply by shifting round on the seat, -on the pivot of which a cam is keyed----" - -"For goodness' sake, Bob, spare me the rest, if that's plain English. -D'you mean that you can drive your 'bus forward or backward as you -please?" - -"You can put it like that if you like, only, of course, the 'bus is -always going forward, because when you shift round on the seat----" - -"Exactly. Not a word more. Why couldn't you say that in a sentence -instead of meandering through page after page? Why, hang it all, this -will make a book before you've done with it." - -"It does seem a little long-winded," Templeton admitted, seriously, "but -you've no idea how particular the Patent Office people are. You have to -be correct in the smallest detail, and draw diagrams showing everything. -There's a lot of work to be done on this draft yet before it's ready." - -"Well, let's go and see how it works in practice. I'd die happy if I -thought one of your old inventions was really going to make your -fortune." - -"I'm afraid there isn't time now. I must hurry off to the shop. But -we'll try it to-night when I get back. It's a pity old Wilkins insisted -on my working out my week's notice; I'd have liked to devote all my time -to it." - -"Can't you forfeit your screw or something?" - -"I offered to, but Wilkins wouldn't hear of it, and as I hate bothers, -and my leaving without notice would certainly put him in a hole, I'll -stick it till Saturday. Are you coming with me to the shop?" - -"I'll walk with you so far; then I'll go on to the town and inquire -tenderly after Noakes. We'll meet at the 'Three Tuns' for lunch. Mrs. -Pouncey will be glad of a day off." - -Encased in macintoshes, they trudged up the muddy lane. At the corner -they met a farmer driving his cart westward. He nodded to Templeton. - -"You've gotten she at last, zur," he said, with a smile. - -"Yes; all right now, Mr. West." - -"Ay. I knowed she'd come, gie un time. Gie un time, I said, and she'll -come. Well, marnen to 'ee, zur." - -"Who's your she, Bob?" asked Eves as they went on. - -"Oh, he means the nozzle. They're fond of the feminine about here." - -"But how on earth does he know anything about the nozzle? It came by -post, you said?" - -"Yes. I suppose the postman told him. You're not used to country ways." - -"But how did the postman know what was in the parcel? They don't open -things, I suppose?" - -"Of course not. I dare say I mentioned to the postman one day what I -was expecting, and they gossip about anything and everything here." - -"What a place! Look here, my son, you'll have one of your inventions -forestalled one of these days if you don't keep your mouth shut. Then -you'd be sorry." - -It was not Eves's way to keep his mouth shut, and he expatiated on the -evils of talkativeness all the way to the workshop, where the friends -parted. The same topic was revived when they met at the "Three Tuns" -for lunch. - -"Wilkins was unusually amiable to-day," Templeton happened to remark. -"He seemed quite pleased that the nozzle is a success." - -"Were you juggins enough to tell him that?" asked Eves with a touch of -scorn. - -"Well, what else could I do when he asked me point-blank? I didn't -mention it first." - -"I suppose he heard of it from the postman or from Farmer West, or from -any other inhabitant of this gossiping old monkey-house. Wilkins is the -last man who ought to know anything about your private affairs. Upon my -word, I think I'd better get demobilised and take a job as your keeper. -You're not fit to be trusted alone." - -After lunch Eves accompanied Templeton to the shop, and watched over him -with fatherly interest through the afternoon. He was amused to see -Templeton from time to time break off his work on a purely mechanical -job, hurry to his coat hanging on a peg, extract the specification from -his breast-pocket, and make some trifling alteration in text or diagram. - -"Is that the result of what they call unconscious cerebration?" he -asked. "Or can your mighty mind attend to two things at once? You're a -wonder, Bobby, and I hope I shall live long enough to write you a -thumping obituary notice." - - - - *II* - - -Next day, immediately after breakfast, Eves went off on his own devices, -and did not see Templeton again until supper-time. - -"You look rather down in the mouth. Bob," he said. "Anything wrong?" - -"I'm a bit worried," Templeton replied. "I don't think I'm naturally -suspicious----" - -"Rather not! You're as innocent as a babe. Any old diddler could suck -you in. But what's happened?" - -"This afternoon I had to go out for an hour or so to try a car. Wilkins -was away, so I left the shop closed. While I was running the car I had -an idea for my specification and when I got back I took it out of my -coat to alter it. And I found this." - -He handed Eves the paper. - -"Well? It's the same old thing--same old rigmarole, isn't it?" - -"That smudge of ink!" - -"Your elbow--but, of course, it's all in pencil. You don't mean-- - -"As you say, it's all in pencil. It hasn't been near ink, so far as I -know. At any rate, that smudge wasn't there this morning." - -Eves whistled. - -"Wilkins knew about your specification, of course; everybody knows -everything in this Arcadia. My prophetic soul! He's been copying your -draft, Bob, and being an untidy penman, left his mark behind. He must -have been uncommon slippy to copy it all in an hour, though, with all -these erasures and interlinings. Any one else got a key of the shop?" - -"No one, so far as I know." - -"Noakes? You remember when we caught him at the drawer? My hat! They -don't stick at trifles. This is felony, or I'm a Dutchman. Wilkins, or -Noakes, or both of them, want to get in first at the Patent Office; -they've stolen your specification." - -"That's a serious charge. We've no proof." - -"My dear chap, it's as plain as a pikestaff. But look here, what can be -done? Look at the worst; say they have copied your stuff, what then?" - -"If they file their application at the Patent Office it will be no end -of a bother and expense to prove it's mine." - -"I'd swear that before any beak in the country. But let's keep to the -point. They couldn't get to the Patent Office to-night?" - -"No; it closes at five; opens at ten in the morning." - -"What time's the last train up?" - -"It left twenty minutes ago," said Templeton, after a glance at his -watch. - -"And in the morning?" - -"The first train reaches London something after eleven." - -Eves mused for a few seconds, drumming on the table. - -"I tell you what," he said at length. "You set to work and make a fair -copy of this stuff, and we'll go up by the first train to-morrow and see -if--Hallo! here's a car. Rather late for a visit." - -The panting of an automobile engine was distinctly audible. There was a -rap on the outer door. Mrs. Pouncey shuffled along the passage; voices -were heard; then the landlady entered. - -"A gentleman to see you, sir; O'Reilly by name." - -"Our excitable Irishman," said Eves. - -"Ask him in, Mrs. Pouncey, please," said Templeton. - -O'Reilly came in like a tornado, waving his arms and wearing his -capacious smile. - -"Sure, I'm delighted to see the two of you, and me not knowing the way," -he said as he shook hands. "The Government, or the colonel anyway, has -taken my tender for the camp waste, and 'tis to you I owe it, and I'll -beg you to drink to the colonel, or anyway the Government; I have the -champagne in my pocket ready." - -He produced a bottle from the deep pocket of his waterproof coat. - -"Jolly good of you, Mr. O'Reilly," said Eves. "You've come in the nick -of time. My friend Templeton wants something to cheer him up." - -"Do you say so? What might be the trouble, now?" - -"Expound, Bob; your invention, I mean. I should only make a mess of it." - -"It was just a notion for driving a car in the opposite direction to -what it has been going, the driver swinging round on his seat and -automatically bringing into action steering-gear affecting the back -wheels instead of the front, or vice versa." - -"Saves turning in a narrow lane, you see," added Eves. - -"Bedad, that would be a blessing to me this dark night," said O'Reilly. -"But what is the trouble? Funds run out? Would you show me the plans, -I'd find the capital--provided they'll work out, of course." - -"Splendid!" cried Eves. "Here's the draft specification--but there's -the rub; that smudge of ink. Look here, Bob, just set to work and copy -your diagrams while I tell Mr. O'Reilly all about it, and he opens the -fizz. We've no wine-glasses, only tumblers, but no one will mind that." - -O'Reilly's face grew grave as he listened to the story told by Eves. - -"That's bad," he said. "I stopped at the station a while ago to get a -London evening paper, and I saw that mayor of yours, Noakes, step into -the London train. There was another fellow with him, seeing him off." - -"What sort of man?" asked Eves. - -"A thick ruffian of a fellow in a long coat and a motor cap. I can't -tell you which of them I dislike the most, by the faces of 'em, I -mean--him or Noakes." - -"That was Wilkins. There's no doubt I was right, Bob; Noakes has slunk -off to London to get in first; and that was the last train!" - -"Drink, my boys," said O'Reilly, who had meanwhile opened his bottle. -"Health to ourselves, and confusion to Noakes. We'll get the top-side -of him yet. There's one way to do it. 'Tis nine o'clock, and we are a -hundred and sixty miles from London--that and a bit over. I'll drive -you up in my car." - -"Magnificent," cried Eves. "How long will your diagrams take, Bob?" - -"Under an hour; but there's the specification to copy out." - -"I'll do that. Hand over. We'll be ready in an hour, Mr. O'Reilly." - -"Then I'll run back to the town and fill up my tank and see to my tyres -and lamps," said O'Reilly. "Be you ready when I call for you, and with -luck and no punctures we'll be in London by six o'clock." - -He gulped a glass of champagne and hurried from the room. - -The two lads went on steadily with their tasks. Templeton was finished -first, and going to his desk scrawled a hasty note, which he placed in -an envelope, and was addressing when Eves sprang up. - -"That's done," he said, flinging down his pen. "What are you writing to -Wilkins for?" - -"Just to tell him I shan't be at the shop till Thursday." - -"I wouldn't tell the brute anything." - -"Well, you see, there's nothing proved yet, and----" - -"And Noakes, I suppose, has gone up to town to leave his card on the -King! Bob, you're an ass. But drink up your fizz; it's pretty flat. I -hear the car. It'll be a pretty cold ride; rather sport, though." - -"I hope we shan't have a spill. O'Reilly's a bit wild, you know. I -wish we hadn't drunk that champagne." - -"Oh, you're hopeless. Get on your coat, and don't worry. It'll be a -splendid rag." - -Ten minutes sufficed for their donning their thickest outer garments and -soothing the agitation into which the announcement of their journey -threw Mrs. Pouncey. Then they started. - -It is to be feared that Eves's expectation of a "splendid rag" was -somewhat disappointed. There was a certain excitement in the first -hour's run over the quiet country roads, when the car, behind its -glaring headlights, seemed to be continually dashing itself against a -wall of impenetrable blackness. But it soon became monotonous. The air -was cold and damp, and in spite of their thick clothes and the -windscreen the two passengers soon became unpleasantly chilled. -O'Reilly, a business man as well as an Irishman, had a proper respect -for his car, and drove carefully through the towns. His enthusiasm for -the Government was considerably damped when first at Bournemouth and -then at Southampton he found all the hotels closed, and failed to obtain -anything in the way of liquid refreshment stronger than spade coffee. -These were the moments when Templeton felt most comfortable, and he -confided to Eves his belief that after all they would arrive safely at -their journey's end. By the time they reached Winchester the feet of -both were tingling with cold; at Guildford even Eves had become morose; -and it was not until they narrowly escaped a collision with an Army -lorry as they swung round to cross Vauxhall Bridge that Eves felt the -only thrill their journey provided. - -It was nearly half-past six when O'Reilly drew up at the door of his -rooms in a quiet Westminster street. - -"You'll be cold, sure," he said. "I'll let you in and show you the -bath-room; there'll be hot water. I'll garage the car, and by the time -you're dry I'll be back. I don't dare wake my housekeeper. The last -trump wouldn't get her out of bed before half-past seven. But her heart -is never cold, and at half-past eight she'll give us a breakfast fit for -the three kings of Carrickmagree. Not but what we'll forage out -something before then." - -Bathed, warmed, and fed, the three boarded a motor-bus soon after nine -o'clock, and were set down at the end of Chancery Lane. As they walked -up the street Eves suddenly pulled them into a shop doorway. - -"There's old Noakes about ten yards ahead," he said. "The Patent Office -doesn't open till ten, I think you said, Bob?" - -"That's so." - -"Then he's about forty minutes to wait. Surely he won't hang about the -door. Let us follow him carefully." - -They had taken only a few steps when they saw Noakes, swinging a fat -umbrella, enter a typewriting agency. - -"He's going to have your specification copied," said Eves. - -"Sure, we'll be safe till ten," said O'Reilly with a chuckle. "The -girls will keep the likes of him waiting. Now do you come with me to a -patent agent, one of my friends. He'll put us up to the way of getting -over Noakes." - -The agent's office was but a few yards up the street. The agent himself -had not yet arrived; his typist-secretary explained that he was not -expected until ten, and might be later. - -"Well, then, you'll be after doing us a kindness. My friend here has a -specification which Mr. Jones is going to file for me, and he'll need it -copied in duplicate at once. Indeed, he'll be mighty pleased to find it -ready for him; he's been longing to get his hand on it these many weeks, -and you will not disappoint him, will you now?" - -"I won't disappoint you, Mr. O'Reilly," said the girl, with a smile. - -She sat down at her machine, rattled away on the keys, and in twenty -minutes handed to O'Reilly two clean copies of the specification. Her -employer arrived on the stroke of ten. A few words from O'Reilly -apprised him of the urgency of the matter, and he at once accompanied -the three to the Patent Office and filed the formal application. - -They left the office in couples, O'Reilly going ahead with his friend. -The other two noticed that O'Reilly edged away to one side quickly, -leaving a gap through which came hurriedly a shambling figure in a -wideawake and a long brown ulster, in one hand a large envelope, in the -other his huge umbrella. - -"Our worthy mayor," whispered Eves, giving Templeton a nudge. - -Apparently Noakes had not recognised O'Reilly, but his eyes widened and -his chin dropped as he came face to face with Eves and Templeton. The -shock of amazement caused him to halt with a jerk, bringing him into -sharp collision with an errand boy hurrying along behind him, a basket -of fish upon his arm. - -"Here, old 'un, mind my toes," said the lad, not ill-temperedly, at the -same time sticking out his elbow to ward off Noakes's obstructing bulk. -His action was as a spark to powder. With the impulse of an angry, -ill-conditioned man to vent his wrath on the nearest object, Noakes -swung round and brought his umbrella heavily down upon the lad's -shoulders. - -"I'll learn you!" he cried, truculently. - -The response was unexpected. Snatching up a prime cod by the tail, the -lad dashed its head full in Noakes's face. Noakes winced at the cold, -slimy contact, staggered, then lurched forward, raising his umbrella -once more to strike. The lad was too quick for him. Dropping his -basket, he wrenched the umbrella away, flung it into the gutter, and, -squaring his shoulders, commenced that curious piston-like movement of -the two arms which is the street boy's preliminary to a sparring bout. -Suddenly his right fist shot out, and planted a blow in the man's -midriff. A crowd quickly assembled. - -[Illustration: "THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE."] - -"I say, d'you know that the gentleman you are assaulting is the Mayor of -Pudlington?" said Eves, stepping up to the errand boy. - -"Don't care who he is. He ain't going to hit me for nothing, not if -he's the Lord Mayor." - -But the sight of a burly policeman approaching from the corner of the -street brought discretion. He picked up his basket and ran off, turning -to give Noakes a parting salute with his thumb to his nose. - - - - *III* - - -O'Reilly treated the two lads to what Eves described as a topping lunch, -and afterwards spent half an hour in a close examination of the -specification. - -"I like the looks of it," he said, finally. "Have you given it a trial?" - -"Not yet," replied Templeton. "I've rigged up the mechanism, rather -roughly, on an old road-sweeper I got cheap, and a little more tinkering -should put it in working order. I might be able to try it on Saturday -afternoon when I'm clear of the shop." - -"Well, then, I'm the way of making you an offer. I'll run down on -Saturday and watch your trial. If the creature works, I'll pay for the -installation on a respectable car, and finance you up to a thousand -pounds. You'll pay me six per cent. interest and repay the capital just -when you can." - -"It's really too good of you, Mr. O'Reilly," said Templeton. - -"Sorra a bit, my boy. I'm doing you no favour; 'tis business, and -there's no denying it." - -"Splendid!" said Eves. "You've got your chance at last, Bob. Remember -me, old man, when the profits come rolling in. I've stood by you in many -old rags. I tell you what, I'll write your advertisements, and make -your reversible steering as famous as Beecham's pills." - -"I wouldn't wonder but you've got a flowery style, Mr. Eves," said -O'Reilly. "Now, if so be you mean to catch your train, you'd better be -off. I'll see you on Saturday." - -They took a taxi and arrived at the station in good time. After -securing seats, Eves walked the length of the train to see whether -Noakes was their fellow-passenger. There was no sign of him. Eves kept -an eye on the platform from the window of his compartment until the -train moved off, but Noakes had not appeared. - -"He'll go on the razzle, I suppose," he remarked, as he dropped into the -corner opposite Templeton. "But he can't keep it up long. Isn't -Saturday the day for that old ceremony--what do they call it?--anointing -the British Stone? I'd made up my mind to see that; it will be a bit of -a rag to finish up my holiday with. I suppose you'll be too much -occupied with your road-sweeper to bother about it?" - -"Well, you see, the afternoons are short now, and as O'Reilly is coming -down specially----" - -"Just so. Business before pleasure. I foresee the end of our old -friendship. 'But O the heavy change now thou art gone!' Milton, old -chap. That's what I shall say when I think of the spiffing rags we've -had together, and mourn for the days that are no more. Hand over that -Punch, or I shall burst into tears. Perhaps I shall anyhow." - -Next morning, when Templeton arrived at the shop, he found Wilkins -standing at the door, an image of truculence. - -"You didn't turn up yesterday," he cried. "What was you after, eh?" - -"As I explained in my note, I had to make a sudden journey to London." - -"I don't want none of your explanations. You had ought to ask my -permission, going gallivanting sudden like that. I won't have no more -of it. You're sacked; you understand that? Sacked without notice. -Here's half a week's wages; you shan't have nothing against me. Hook -it! Now! This very minute!" - -"With the greatest pleasure in life," said Templeton, coolly. "Good -morning." - -He was not aware, until informed by the omniscient postman, that Wilkins -had received on the previous morning a telegram from Noakes, the cryptic -wording of which had already been thoroughly discussed in the -neighbourhood: "Boy in first sack immediate." - -Delighted at the leisure afforded by his dismissal, Templeton returned -to his lodging, and spent the remainder of that day and the whole of the -next in working at the road-sweeper. Eves watched him for an hour or -two, but finding his friend's patient labour too slow for his taste, he -went through the town to the scene of Saturday's ceremony, and amused -himself by looking on at the preparations, and chatting with any one who -would listen to him. The British Stone was a sort of truncated monolith -standing in a meadow about a couple of acres in extent. A small square -enclosure had been roped off around it, and within stood a low wooden -platform from which the mayor, after breaking a bottle of cider on the -stone, would deliver the annual oration in honour of the town and its -ancient worthies. Against the hedge, on all four sides of the meadow, -were ranged caravans, roundabouts, Aunt Sallies, raree-shows, and all -the paraphernalia of a country fair, with stalls for the sale of hot -drinks and such comestibles as the Food Regulations had not debarred. -The continuous wet weather and the passage of many vehicles had made the -entrance to the field a slough, and many of the showmen wore gloomy -faces at the expectation that fewer spectators than usual would attend -the ceremony. They asked quite reasonably whether the women folk, their -best customers, would brave the risk of sinking ankle-deep in mud. - -Saturday morning came. A thin drizzle was falling; the sky was gloomy, -and Mrs. Pouncey foretold that it was to be a "mizzly day." Templeton, -however, was so anxious to prove the merits of his invention to O'Reilly -in the afternoon, that immediately after breakfast, nothing daunted by -the weather, he suggested that Eves should accompany him on a trial -spin. They ran the road-sweeper up the muddy lane to the high road, -Eves remarking that there was great scope for the activities for which -the machine was designed. The macadamised surface of the highway was -less miry, and Templeton assured his friend that he would not get very -much splashed if the speed of the sweeper was kept low. - -Templeton occupied the driver's seat; Eves stood on a rail above the -fixed brushes behind, holding on to the framework. The machine ran -steadily up the road, but when Templeton slowed down and turned upon the -pivot which was to bring into action the steering-gear at the rear, the -vehicle, instead of moving straight hi the opposite direction, showed a -tendency to sheer off to one side. Moreover, it turned out that the gear -which raised the brushes clear of the road was out of order. Every now -and then the brushes dropped, and the machine reverted to its original -use. At these times Eves's boots and puttees received a generous -bespattering of mud and water, and when the brushes began to "race," -sending a spray of mud not merely across the road, but into his face, he -protested loudly. - -"Why didn't you wait till you could rig cranks, or whatever they are, on -a decent car instead of this ramshackle old piece of antiquity?" he -grumbled. - -"Sorry, old man," said Templeton; "I'll go a bit slower." - -"Besides," Eves went on, "your reversible arrangements don't act. You -can't steer the thing straight. It goes like a crab, or a drunk. Swing -round again, for goodness' sake. Here's a wagon coming; I don't want to -be chucked under the wheels." - -"All right," said Templeton, with composure, turning round. "It's only -a slight hitch. Of course, the clutch connection is roughly made; I did -the best I could with my materials; but you see the idea's all right, -and it'll be easy enough to correct the defects." - -"You won't think of showing the thing to O'Reilly in its present state?" - -"Why not? He's a practical man." Templeton began to get a little warm. -"It's chaps like you who know nothing about machinery that lose heart at -a trifling setback. And very likely another half-hour's work in the -shed will greatly improve things. This is a trial spin; you can't expect -everything to go like clockwork first go off." - -"Jolly good speech, old man. Best I've heard of yours. My faith in you -is restored. By all means run the thing back to the shed; but, if you -don't mind, I'll dismount when we come to the lane. I don't mind a -shower-bath from above, but from below--no, thank you. I've swallowed -enough mud in Flanders." - -Templeton spent the rest of the morning in overhauling his mechanism, -and Eves in removing the worst of the mud splotches from his clothes. -They had just finished lunch, when O'Reilly drove up in a growler hired -at the station. - -"Faith, 'tis a terrible day for wetness," he said. "But here I am, and -I'll be glad now to take a look at your machine. Have you it in working -order?" - -"We gave it a short trial this morning," said Templeton. "It didn't -behave quite so well as I had hoped, but I've spent a couple of hours on -it since, and it ought to go better now." - -"I like your modesty, my boy. 'Tis a rare thing in inventors." - -"He's far too modest," said Eves. "That's why I've appointed myself his -advertising agent. It's an old road-sweeper, remember; he's been -working under difficulties. In my opinion--of course, I'm not an -expert--the thing's a great success; you should see the amount of mud it -scooped up." - -"I saw a mighty deal of mud as I came down the lane. You will not try -it here, sure?" - -"We tried it along the road," said Templeton. "And I've been thinking of -a better place. On the other side of the town the road is tarred, and -the machine will run much more smoothly. Besides, there's very little -mud." - -"A bright idea," said Eves. "I propose that you drive the machine over -the muddy roads while Mr. O'Reilly and I follow in the growler. We'll -get out when we come to the tarred highway, and I'll perch up where I -was before, and try to keep those brushes in order." - -The suggestion was accepted. O'Reilly looked on critically as Templeton -drove the sweeper slowly up the lane; then he stepped into the cab and -told the driver to follow at a reasonable distance. Eves joined him. - -As they proceeded along the road they passed at intervals small groups -of farmers and labourers with their wives and children, who, defying the -weather, had donned their Sunday best for the civic ceremony. - -"Is it the likes of a wake, then?" O'Reilly asked. "Or a horse-race, -maybe?" - -"Only a country beano," replied Eves, and told what he knew of the -afternoon's proceedings. - -"That's disappointing, now. I'd have liked to see a good race, but I've -no wish in the world to hear Noakes make a speech." - -Arriving at the tarred highway the two alighted from the cab. Eves took -up his post above the brushes as before, and O'Reilly, eager to watch -the working of Templeton's apparatus at close quarters, chose a somewhat -precarious position on the opposite side of the framework. - -"Now, Tom," said Templeton, his manner betraying a little nervousness, -"if you see the gear dropping, just raise it. There's very little mud, -but there are pools here and there, and I don't want to splash you. I -propose to run straight ahead for a few minutes till I get up a fair -speed, for I fancy the mechanism will work better then. Are you ready?" - -"Righto. The road's clear." - -Templeton started his engine. The machine moved forward, at first -slowly, but gradually gathering way. Eves kept a watchful eye on the -brushes, and when they showed no sign of dropping he remarked to -O'Reilly, "I think old Bob's done the trick this time." - -"Maybe," replied O'Reilly, in an undertone, "but this reversing gear, -now." - -The speed continually increased until it reached a rate of about fifteen -miles an hour. There was no traffic on the road, and Templeton was on -the point of slowing down, preparatory to stopping and turning, when, -rounding a slight bend, he came to a cross-road just as the head of the -civic procession arrived at the corner. The town sergeant, bearing the -mace, led the way; behind him came Noakes, in his mayoral robes, -followed immediately by the councillors, the senior of whom carried a -magnum bottle of cider. - -Templeton caught sight of the procession just in time to avoid a -collision. Forgetting in the excitement of the moment the necessity of -slowing down before bringing the reverse into action, he swung round on -the pivot. The effect was amazing. The machine, instead of running in -the opposite direction, plunged forward with zigzag rushes, charging -into the procession. Templeton lost his head, forgot his brakes, and -made frantic efforts to stop the engine, but something had stuck. Eves, -between alarm and amusement at the stampede of the civic dignitaries, -forgot to keep his eye on the brushes, which had dropped owing to the -change of gear, and now began to race. Unlike the highway, the -cross-road was deep in mud, and as the machine ran from side to side, -dashing first into one hedge, then the other, the brushes flung up mud -in all directions. Eves and O'Reilly were splashed from head to foot, -but the full effect of this outrageous behaviour of the road-sweeper was -felt by Noakes and the councillors immediately behind him. They had -sought safety by backing into the hedge opposite to that at which the -machine appeared to be charging as it approached them. Unhappily for -them, it suddenly altered its direction, passed within a few inches of -their shrinking forms, and covered them with a deluge of liquid mud. -There was a crash as the bottle of cider fell and splintered into -fragments, and loud cries of alarm and objurgation from the bespattered -victims. - -[Illustration: "COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD."] - -The incident occupied barely half a minute. Templeton recovered himself, -stopped his engine, rammed on his brakes, and, least bemired of all the -actors, got down to make his apologies. Eves and O'Reilly by this time -were shaking with laughter. Noakes, seeing that the machine had come to -a stop, approached the contrite driver with uplifted fist, too irate -even to speak. He had tried to rub the splashes of mud from his cheeks, -with the result that he had only spread them. - -"I am really very sorry, Mr. Noakes," said Templeton. "I was trying a -new invention, and I can't say how much I regret----" - -"Od rabbit you and your inventions," roared Noakes. "You did it o' -purpose, you viper. I'll have you up, I will, for creating a -nuisance----" - -"Driving to the danger of the public, be jowned to 'em," put in a -councillor who had suffered scarcely less than the mayor. - -"Ay, the danger of the public and bodily injury to the mayor," cried -Noakes. "No option of a fine, neither; you'll go to jail, sure as my -name be Philemon Noakes." - -"Come, come, now," said O'Reilly, thinking it time to intervene. "Sure, -any one could see it was nothing but an accident that might have -happened to the Lord Mayor of Dublin himself. You gentlemen have got -splashed; faith, so have I. Look at me! The right way to look at it is -that we're all suffering in a good cause--martyrs of science, and I -wouldn't say but we've got off lightly." - -"There's summat in that, Neighbour Noakes," said a councillor who, being -at the rear of the procession, had not come within range of the rotating -brushes. "Ay, what I say is, these young fellers what have served their -country want to be encouraged, and if so be a little mud flies--why, -there 'tis; it will brush off, and 'tis all one." - -"There'll be no 'nointing to-day, that's certain," said another. "Seems -to me we'd best all go home along before they get wind of it in the -meadow up yonder. None of us wants a crowd ramping round and admiring -of our muddy faces. The old stone won't hurt for want of its drop o' -liquor for once." - -"That's true," added a third. "And as for speeches--well, speaking as -man to man, speeches are a weariness of the flesh to me. Let's go home -along, neighbours, and drink a drop o' something hot, with our toes on -the fire." - -The suggestion won favour with the majority, and Noakes, irritably -conscious of his unseemly appearance, allowed himself to be escorted -towards the town. A few of the more curious waited to see what further -antics the road-sweeper performed. But they were disappointed. A brief -examination of the mechanism revealed to Templeton the cause of his -failure. He made certain adjustments which enabled him to drive the -machine home at a moderate pace, and without further experiments with -the reversible steering. Eves and O'Reilly followed, prudently, in the -cab. - -"My hat, what a rag!" said Eves to his companion on the way. "But I'm -afraid old Bob has come a cropper, poor old boy! It's not the first -time; but I'll say this for him, he always comes up smiling." - -"And he'll smile to a good tune if I don't be mistaken," said O'Reilly. -"He's got hold of a good idea, and with the help of an engineer friend -of mine he'll make something of it. I'll see to that." - -The next week's local paper contained a copious but by no means a wholly -accurate account of the incident. The deplorable appearance of the -mayor was described, however, with excessive particularity. Unkindest -cut of all, the editor pointed the moral: - - -"We have already more than once drawn the attention of the mayor and -corporation to the disgracefully muddy state of our roads in -winter-time. Now that our civic worthies have suffered in their own -persons, and the town has been deprived for the first time in a hundred -and forty years of its ancient and time-honoured ceremony, perhaps -something will be done, or are we to wait until the present mayor's -tenure of office has expired?" - - -A few months later Eves received from Templeton a long letter which gave -him a good deal of pleasure. Templeton related that his invention, -tested under more favourable conditions, had more than fulfilled his -hopes. O'Reilly was enthusiastic about it, and had arranged to set up a -small factory for him. But almost as agreeable was the news about the -Mayor of Pudlington: - - -"Noakes was never popular," Templeton wrote, "and the sorry figure he -cut in certain episodes we know of brought him into ridicule, which is -always fatal. It began to be whispered, too, that there was something -shady in his transactions over contracts and canteens, and what not. -Anyhow, one fine day he disappeared, and I hear that there are warrants -out against him. I'm not vindictive, but I can't say I shall be sorry -if he is caught." - - -"Just like old Bob," said Eves to himself. He sat down to dash off a -reply: - - -"I'm jolly glad, old man. 'There is a tide,' etc. (Shakespeare). I -always said you'd make your fortune, though I must own I never thought -it would be through a mad road-sweeper. I'm going to be demobbed after -all, so I'll take on your advertising stunt as soon as you like. As to -Noakes, I don't care whether he's caught or not. He was always a -glorious rag, and I rather fancy he more or less inspired some of your -bright ideas." - - - - - THE END - - - - - _Printed by_ - MORRISON & GIBB LIMITED - _Edinburgh_ - - - - - * * * * * * * * - - - - - *HERBERT STRANG* - - - *COMPLETE LIST OF STORIES* - -ADVENTURES OF DICK TREVANION, THE -ADVENTURES OF HARRY ROCHESTER, THE -A GENTLEMAN AT ARMS -A HERO OF LIÉGE -AIR PATROL, THE -AIR SCOUT, THE -BARCLAY OF THE GUIDES -BLUE RAIDER, THE -BOYS OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE -BRIGHT IDEAS -BROWN OF MOUKDEN -BURTON OF THE FLYING CORPS -CARRY ON -CRUISE OF THE GYRO-CAR, THE -FIGHTING WITH FRENCH -FLYING BOAT, THE -FRANK FORESTER -HUMPHREY BOLD -JACK HARDY -KING OF THE AIR -KOBO -LONG TRAIL, THE -LORD OF THE SEAS -MOTOR SCOUT, THE -OLD MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE -ONE OF CLIVE'S HEROES -PALM TREE ISLAND -ROB THE RANGER -ROUND THE WORLD IN SEVEN DAYS -SAMBA -SETTLERS AND SCOUTS -SULTAN JIM -SWIFT AND SURE -THROUGH THE ENEMY'S LINES -TOM BURNABY -TOM WILLOUGHBY'S SCOUTS -WITH DRAKE ON THE SPANISH MAIN -WITH HAIG ON THE SOMME - - - - - - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRIGHT IDEAS *** - - - - -A Word from Project Gutenberg - - -We will update this book if we find any errors. - -This book can be found under: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/43234 - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one -owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and -you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission -and without paying copyright royalties. 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