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| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-03-03 08:18:08 -0800 |
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| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-03-03 08:18:08 -0800 |
| commit | 5bcac0ebc9d2f2fff4b4be9933938cef796aae35 (patch) | |
| tree | 373bfbcf0675595a4170e3285b6711d1f837dc8f /43234-h/43234-h.html | |
| parent | da4635472cb95ea5698d7b5d5ece1e8cd092112c (diff) | |
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| -rw-r--r-- | 43234-h/43234-h.html | 7712 |
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- float: left; - margin-right: 1em } - -.align-right { clear: right; - float: right; - margin-left: 1em } - -.align-center { margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto } - -div.shrinkwrap { display: table; } - -/* SECTIONS */ - -body { margin: 5% 10% 5% 10% } - -/* compact list items containing just one p */ -li p.pfirst { margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0 } - -.first { margin-top: 0 !important; - text-indent: 0 !important } -.last { margin-bottom: 0 !important } - -span.dropcap { float: left; margin: 0 0.1em 0 0; line-height: 1 } -img.dropcap { float: left; margin: 0 0.5em 0 0; max-width: 25% } -span.dropspan { font-variant: small-caps } - -.no-page-break { page-break-before: avoid !important } - -/* PAGINATION */ - -.pageno { position: absolute; right: 95%; font: medium sans-serif; text-indent: 0 } -.pageno:after { color: gray; content: '[' attr(title) ']' } -.lineno { position: absolute; left: 95%; font: medium sans-serif; text-indent: 0 } -.lineno:after { color: gray; content: '[' attr(title) ']' } -.toc-pageref { float: right } - -@media screen { - .coverpage, .frontispiece, .titlepage, .verso, .dedication, .plainpage - { margin: 10% 0; } - - div.clearpage, div.cleardoublepage - { margin: 10% 0; border: none; border-top: 1px solid gray; } - - .vfill { margin: 5% 10% } -} - -@media print { - div.clearpage { page-break-before: always; padding-top: 10% } - div.cleardoublepage { page-break-before: right; padding-top: 10% } - - .vfill { margin-top: 20% } - h2.title { margin-top: 20% } -} - -/* DIV */ -pre { font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.9em; white-space: pre-wrap } - -</style> -<title>BRIGHT IDEAS</title> -<meta name="PG.Rights" content="Public Domain" /> -<meta name="PG.Title" content="Bright Ideas" /> -<meta name="PG.Producer" content="Al Haines" /> -<link rel="coverpage" href="images/img-cover.jpg" /> -<meta name="DC.Creator" content="Herbert Strang" /> -<meta name="DC.Created" content="1920" /> -<meta name="MARCREL.ill" content="C. E. Brock" /> -<meta name="PG.Id" content="43234" /> -<meta name="PG.Released" content="2013-07-16" /> -<meta name="DC.Language" content="en" /> -<meta name="DC.Title" content="Bright Ideas A Record of Invention and Misinvention" /> - -<link href="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" rel="schema.DCTERMS" /> -<link href="http://id.loc.gov/vocabulary/relators" rel="schema.MARCREL" /> -<meta content="Bright Ideas A Record of Invention and Misinvention" name="DCTERMS.title" /> -<meta content="bright.rst" name="DCTERMS.source" /> -<meta content="en" scheme="DCTERMS.RFC4646" name="DCTERMS.language" /> -<meta content="2013-07-16T23:34:30.607091+00:00" scheme="DCTERMS.W3CDTF" name="DCTERMS.modified" /> -<meta content="Project Gutenberg" name="DCTERMS.publisher" /> -<meta content="Public Domain in the USA." name="DCTERMS.rights" /> -<link href="http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/43234" rel="DCTERMS.isFormatOf" /> -<meta content="Herbert Strang" name="DCTERMS.creator" /> -<meta content="C. E. Brock" name="MARCREL.ill" /> -<meta content="2013-07-16" scheme="DCTERMS.W3CDTF" name="DCTERMS.created" /> -<meta content="width=device-width" name="viewport" /> -<meta content="EpubMaker 0.3.20a7 by Marcello Perathoner <webmaster@gutenberg.org>" name="generator" /> -</head> -<body> -<div class="document" id="bright-ideas"> -<h1 class="center document-title level-1 pfirst title"><span class="x-large">BRIGHT IDEAS</span></h1> - -<!-- this is the default PG-RST stylesheet --> -<!-- figure and image styles for non-image formats --> -<!-- default transition --> -<!-- default attribution --> -<!-- -*- encoding: utf-8 -*- --> -<div class="clearpage"> -</div> -<!-- -*- encoding: utf-8 -*- --> -<div class="align-None container language-en pgheader" id="pg-header" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the </span><a class="reference internal" href="#project-gutenberg-license">Project Gutenberg License</a><span> -included with this eBook or online at -</span><a class="reference external" href="http://www.gutenberg.org/license">http://www.gutenberg.org/license</a><span>.</span></p> -<p class="noindent pnext"></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<div class="align-None container" id="pg-machine-header"> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Title: Bright Ideas -<br /> A Record of Invention and Misinvention -<br /> -<br />Author: Herbert Strang -<br /> -<br />Release Date: July 16, 2013 [EBook #43234] -<br /> -<br />Language: English -<br /> -<br />Character set encoding: UTF-8</span></p> -</div> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst" id="pg-start-line"><span>*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK </span><span>BRIGHT IDEAS</span><span> ***</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst" id="pg-produced-by"><span>Produced by Al Haines.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span></span></p> -</div> -<div class="align-None container frontispiece"> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 62%" id="figure-118"> -<span id="tis-your-doing-spluttered-noakes-shaking-the-soot-from-his-clothes"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""'TIS YOUR DOING," SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS CLOTHES." src="images/img-front.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"'TIS YOUR DOING," SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS CLOTHES. (</span><em class="italics">See page</em><span class="italics"> </span><a class="italics reference internal" href="#id1">28</a><span class="italics">)</span></div> -</div> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -</div> -<div class="align-None container titlepage"> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="x-large">BRIGHT IDEAS</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span class="large">A RECORD OF INVENTION -<br />AND MISINVENTION</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span class="large">HERBERT STRANG</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">ILLUSTRATED BY C. E. BROCK</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">HUMPHREY MILFORD -<br />OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS -<br />LONDON, EDINBURGH, GLASGOW -<br />TORONTO, MELBOURNE, CAPE TOWN, BOMBAY -<br />1920</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">CONTENTS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#the-smoke-machine">THE SMOKE MACHINE</a><span> -<br /></span><a class="reference internal" href="#trespassers-will-be-prosecuted">TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED</a><span> -<br /></span><a class="reference internal" href="#a-gas-attack">A GAS ATTACK</a><span> -<br /></span><a class="reference internal" href="#the-clipper-of-the-road">THE CLIPPER OF THE ROAD</a><span> -<br /></span><a class="reference internal" href="#the-cold-water-cure">THE COLD WATER CURE</a><span> -<br /></span><a class="reference internal" href="#a-brush-with-the-enemy">A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics small">FRONTISPIECE IN COLOUR</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#tis-your-doing-spluttered-noakes-shaking-the-soot-from-his-clothes">"''TIS YOUR DOING,' SPLUTTERED NOAKES, -SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS CLOTHES"</a><span> -(see p. 38). </span><em class="italics">Frontispiece</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#there-was-a-rattling-sound-and-noakes-was-half-obliterated">"THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND AND NOAKES -WAS HALF OBLITERATED"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#its-riders-were-flung-into-the-hedge">"ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#templeton-gripped-the-unhappy-man-by-the-collar-and-hauled-him-up">"TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY -THE COLLAR, AND HAULED HIM UP"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#i-ve-cotched-ee-he-cried">"'I'VE COTCHED 'EE,' HE CRIED"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#here-i-be-and-here-i-bide-said-eves-brandishing-the-poker">"'HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,' SAID EVES, -BRANDISHING THE POKER"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#they-tripped-over-the-wire-and-sprawled-at-full-length">"THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED -AT FULL LENGTH"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#yes-cut-in-eves-who-had-come-out-into-the-road-if-i-were-you-young-feller-i-d-jolly-well-chuck-him-into-the-horse-pond">"'YES,' CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO -THE ROAD. 'IF I WERE YOU, YOUNG FELLER, -I'D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE HORSE-POND'"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#the-boom-swung-out-and-came-into-sharp-contact-first-with-noakes-s-head-then-with-the-wind-screen">"THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP -CONTACT, FIRST WITH NOAKES'S HEAD, THEN -WITH THE WIND-SCREEN"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#daze-me-said-the-constable-surelyay-tis-the-mayor">"DAZE ME!' SAID THE CONSTABLE. 'SURELY—AY, 'TIS THE MAYOR'"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#the-whole-contents-of-templeton-s-experimental-tank-poured-down">"THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON'S EXPERIMENTAL TANK POURED DOWN"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#the-lad-dashed-its-head-full-in-noakes-s-face">"THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><a class="reference internal" href="#covered-them-with-a-deluge-of-liquid-mud">"COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD"</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-smoke-machine"><span class="bold x-large">THE SMOKE MACHINE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Bob Templeton tucked a leg under him -on the parapet of the bridge on which he was -sitting, and with a look of gloomy disgust -spread a number of coins, the contents of -his trouser pocket, on the weather-beaten stone.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Eleven and ninepence," he said, dolefully. "That's all."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Tom Eves, who had been leaning his elbows -on the bridge, and watching the roach darting -among the weeds in the clear running stream -below, straightened himself, smiled, and, -diving a hand into his pocket, gave a comical -glance at the coins it returned with, and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you beat me. I've got seven and -fivepence halfpenny, and no chance of more -for nearly a couple of months. We're sturdy -beggars: under a pound between us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You can't do much with a pound."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"True, old sport, and still less with -nineteen and twopence halfpenny. Might as -well not count the halfpenny."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And there was so much I wanted to do. -There's the levitator, and the smoke machine, -and the perpetual pump——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And the microphone, and the lachrymator, -and the super-stink——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And the electric cropper, and the tar -entanglement, and—but what's the good of -talking? They all mean cash."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, haven't I read, in the days of my -youth, in the excellent Samuel Smiles, that -most inventors have been poor men?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all very well; but they started -with more than nineteen and twopence -half-penny—and war prices, too! It's maddening -to think what chances we are missing. This -is just the sort of place where you can think -out things quietly. No masters to pounce -on your inventions before they are half -finished. That automatic hair-cutter, now; -there was a ripping idea simply squashed flat. -A few touches would have made it perfect. -If that blatant ass, young Barker, hadn't -shouted before he was hurt——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Barked before he was bitten."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Eh? Oh, that's a pun. I wish you'd be -serious. If he hadn't shouted and brought -old Sandy on the scene the thing might have -been finished by now, and on the market."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And what would the Hun say when he -came back after the war and found your -patent cutter in every one's pocket? His -job would be gone. Really, I've a sneaking -sympathy with the gentle Hun."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I haven't—not a ha'porth. Anyway, -now we've got to begin all over again, simply -because young Barker hadn't the pluck of a—of a——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He paused for want of a word.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of a cucumber?" suggested Eves, -promptly filling the gap.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes—of a cucumber," snapped Templeton, -who, for all his lack of humour, was quick -to suspect levity in his chum.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By gum, he did look a sight!" added -Eves, grinning in gleeful reminiscence. "Half -his crumpet bald as a billiard ball; t'other -half moth-eaten."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Serve him right. If he'd waited until -we'd readjusted the clippers, and shut his -face instead of raising Cain and bringing old -Sandy rushing in at a mile a minute, I'd have -made a thorough good job of him. He was a -beautiful subject, too; hadn't seen a barber -for six weeks."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And enough grease on his mane to make -the thing self-lubricating. There's an idea for -you, old man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes; I hadn't thought of that. But -what's the good? Here we're in a quiet -village, with the run of old Trenchard's -disused barn; all the conditions favourable, -but no funds! Upon my word——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hullo, Postie," cried Eves at this point. -"Anything for us?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The village postman, a veteran of sixty -years, had appeared round the corner of the -lane that abutted on the bridge, his boots -white with the dust gathered since he had -started his morning tramp of ten miles a -couple of hours before.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Marnen, young genelmen," said the postman. -"Fine marnen, to be sure. Ay, I've -got one little small thing in the way of a -registered letter."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then I've no further interest in you, my -friend," said Eves. "Registered letters are -not in my scheme of life."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good now; that saves me the trouble of -asking ye which is Mr. Robert Templeton. -No, no," he added, as Templeton held out his -hand. "Ye'll sign the bit o' paper first. -Just there, with my pencil, an 'ee please; -'twon't rub out, and I've got to think of my -fame in the land; forty year in the service -and no complaints, I don't care who the -man is."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton signed the green-tinted receipt -slip; the postman handed over the letter, -bade them good morning, and shambled away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"From my aunt," remarked Templeton as -he cut open the envelope.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My prophetic soul!" exclaimed Eves. -"How much, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton flourished a ten-pound note, -but made no reply until he had read through -the accompanying letter, which he then -handed to Eves with the remark, "She's a -good old sort."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wasn't it Solomon said, 'Go to the -aunts'?" said Eves. A broad smile spread -over his face as he read the letter, which -ran as follows:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>"MY DEAR NEPHEW,</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"I am really </span><em class="italics">sorry</em><span> that we shall -not be able to spend the holidays together -this year, as we have often done so </span><em class="italics">delightfully</em><span> -in the past, but I feel that I am only doing -</span><em class="italics">what is right</em><span>. It is </span><em class="italics">so important</em><span> in these -terrible times that everybody should practise -the </span><em class="italics">strictest economy</em><span> in food; and every one -must do what he (</span><em class="italics">or she</em><span>) can for our dear -country; and I have every hope that by going -about the villages in my caravan, as I told -you in my last, and delivering simple lectures -on the greens and other public places, I may -persuade the dear people, </span><em class="italics">especially the -mothers</em><span>, that it is not </span><em class="italics">really necessary</em><span> to -health to have </span><em class="italics">both</em><span> bacon </span><em class="italics">and</em><span> eggs for -breakfast </span><em class="italics">every</em><span> morning. If you were a little -older and more experienced I am sure that -you would be able </span><em class="italics">and willing</em><span> to give me </span><em class="italics">very -great</em><span> assistance; but after your </span><em class="italics">arduous -labours</em><span> at school I feel you need complete -rest from brain work, and you will get that -nowhere so well as with </span><em class="italics">dear</em><span> Mr. and -Mrs. Trenchard. To make up for your disappointment -in being deprived of our usual simple -pleasures I send you a little pocket-money, -which I am sure you will spend </span><em class="italics">wisely</em><span>. I -</span><em class="italics">hope and believe</em><span> that you will not indulge in -luxuries; we all of us owe it to our </span><em class="italics">King and -country</em><span> to eat as little as we can. You will -find that </span><em class="italics">barley water and onions fried in -margarine</em><span> make an excellent light breakfast; -will you tell Mrs. Trenchard that, </span><em class="italics">with my -love</em><span>? In the course of my tour I hope to -reach Polstead before your holidays come to -an end. I will give you good notice, and -rely on you to ensure me a </span><em class="italics">large audience</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<dl class="docutils"> -<dt class="noindent"><span>"Your affectionate aunt,</span></dt> -<dd><p class="first last noindent pfirst"><span>"CAROLINE TEMPLETON."</span></p> -</dd> -</dl> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"Excellent Aunt Caroline!" exclaimed -Eves. "But your 'arduous work,' Bobby. -My hat!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I work jolly hard."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The labour we delight in don't show on -our reports, old man. Anyway, you've got a -tenner. Better an aunt in England than a -pater in India. The old boy's all right, of -course; I don't blame him, but that old -mummy of a solicitor who manages things -here. He'll pay Mother Trenchard's weekly -bills on the nail, but he won't send me another -penny till next quarter day; theory is, teach -me economy, as if any man could come through -the summer term with a pocketful of money! -The wonder is I've got fivepence halfpenny -plus seven bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Aunt Caroline's tenner will go a long——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Will go along too fast," Eves interrupted. -"What will you try first?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You see, I've got such loads of ideas. -Better start with something useful and -patriotic. The hair-cutter can wait."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's rather a pity. Young Noakes's -flaxen locks are as long and twice as oily as -Barker's. Still, his father might cut up -rough; he'd certainly charge you for the -hair-oil you'd wasted. Noakes gets my -bristles up, and Trenchard looks very blue -when he calls. Wonder what he comes for; -we've only been here three days, and he's -called twice at tea-time, and eaten -enormously. Any one could see the Trenchards -didn't want him; asked him to stay out of -politeness, I suppose."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, we're not getting on. There's the -tar entanglement."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! Thousands of Huns -stuck fast like flies on a fly-paper; you know, -one of those you unroll and can't get off your -fingers. But don't tar come from gasworks?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, I don't know. Why?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I believe it does. That idea's off, then, -for the present. Let's try something with -material we can get close at hand."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, what about the smoke machine? -With the submarines sinking our vessels——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! Lick the submarine, -and the Hun's done—</span><em class="italics">un</em><span>done, you might say. -I vote for the smoke machine, then. By -the way, where will you change your note? -A tenner's a rarity here, I fancy, and -Trenchard won't have any change."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He'll be going into Wimborne or -Weymouth or somewhere to draw his hands' -wages at the week-end. We can jog on till -then. That's him calling us, isn't it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A prolonged shout reminded them that -it was time to start work.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Another idea, Bob," said Eves as they -crossed the bridge and walked up the road. -"An automatic turnip-puller. Of all the -dreary, deadly, backaching jobs, pulling -turnips is the rottenest."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Still, it's work on the land; got to be -done by some one. An automatic puller: I'll -think it over."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Fellow-members of the Sixth Form, and -close friends, Eves and Templeton were -spending the holidays together by force of -circumstances. The latter was an orphan, -and lived with his aunt. She, having -embraced the temporary career of lecturer on -food economy, had arranged that her nephew -should undertake voluntary farm work with -Giles Trenchard, whose wife was an old -family servant of the Templetons', and at -whose farm, in the Dorset village we will -call Polstead, Miss Templeton had visited -more than once. Eves's parents were in -India, and the London lawyer in whose -guardianship he was placed raised no -objection when he proposed to spend the -holidays with his friend.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Five Oaks Farm was of no great size, and -had been the property of the Trenchard -family for generations. The present owner, -a hale old yeoman whose features were framed -for perennial cheerfulness, had latterly looked -rather careworn. A year before the war an -epidemic among his cattle had caused him -heavy losses. Both his sons had joined the -Army and were now fighting in France, -a constant source of anxiety. Being -short-handed, he was glad enough to avail himself -of the voluntary help of the two strapping -schoolboys of seventeen, and they had already, -though only three days at the farm, firmly -established themselves in the good graces -of both host and hostess by their readiness -to turn their hands to any kind of work.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton, however, had not come to -this remote rural spot merely to work on -the land. He had a serious belief that he -was cut out for an inventor, the only ground -for which was an astonishing fertility of -ideas. At school he was always in hot water -with the masters; he would rather construct -an automatic hair-cutter than a Latin prose. -The prospect of a six or seven weeks' stay -in the quiet village, with the sea within a -mile, held promise for Templeton of many -opportunities for working out his ideas. -There were hours of leisure even on the farm, -and Mr. Trenchard, whom he had at once -taken into his confidence, was impressed -by his earnestness and put an old barn at his -disposal, pleasing himself with the hope that -some great invention would spring to birth -on Five Oaks Farm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton took himself very seriously, -and, as often happens, attracted to himself -a very unlike character in Tom Eves, to -whom life was one delightful comedy; even -the flint-hearted lawyer was matter for -jokes—except at end of term. While having a -genuine admiration for Templeton, Eves's -humorous eye was quick to see the lighter -side of his friend's experiments, and he shared -in them for the sake of the fun which he did -not often trouble to disguise.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That evening, when work was over, Eves -and Templeton strolled down to the seashore -together to discuss plans for the smoke -machine.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You see," said Templeton in his most -earnest manner, "in things like this you -can't do better than follow the example -of most other inventors, and see if -anything in the natural world will give us a -start."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Follow Nature,'" chuckled Eves. "You -remember old Dicky Bird setting that as an -essay theme?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes; he sent mine up for good."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He jawed me: sarcastic owl! He was -always asking for homely illustrations, as he -called them, and when I gave him one he -snapped my head off. I wrote, 'An excellent -example of the application of this philosophical -maxim in practical life is afforded -by the navvy, who, as the most casual -observer will often have noticed, dispenses with -a handkerchief when he has a cold in the -head.' A jolly good sentence, what?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I don't see——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, it's not worth explaining; it was -the explanation that rattled the Dicky Bird. -What were you saying?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I was saying we ought to get a hint from -Nature. What's the object of the smoke -machine?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"To make a deuce of a smother, of course."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, to enable a vessel to hide itself from -a submarine. Well, what's the nearest thing -in Nature?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Give it up; I'm no good at conundrums."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This isn't a conundrum; it's a scientific -fact. You alarm a cuttle-fish, and it squirts -out an inky fluid that conceals it from its -enemy."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't say so! Jolly clever of it. -Ought to be called the scuttle-fish. But -how does that help you? You want your -cloud in the air, not in the water."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course. The idea is to produce a -large volume in a short time, of great opacity, -yet spreading rapidly over a large area. -What's the nearest parallel in Nature?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Human nature?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I said Nature."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, human nature's a part of Nature; -and, if you ask me, I should say a careless -cook and a foul kitchen chimney—the fire -engine up, and a month's notice."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I do wish you'd be serious. But you've -hit it all the same. Half-consumed carbon——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You mean soot?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Soot is half-consumed carbon. That's -the stuff we want. It's the very thing, -because a steamship produces loads of it -every day. All you want is a suitable -apparatus and what you may call a firing -charge. I'll just make a note."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He took out his note-book, and wrote in -his very neat handwriting the following -tabular statement:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">SMOKE MACHINE.</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">REQUIRED.</span></p> -<p class="noindent pnext"><span>1. Soot. -<br />2. Combustibles. -<br />3. Receptacle. -<br />4. Vehicle.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"Four-wheelers are cheap, but bang goes -your tenner, Bobby," said Eves, looking over -his shoulder. "Can't you do without the -vehicle?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't understand. We must have -something to carry the receptacle along at a -good speed, like a ship at sea. A motor-boat -would be the very thing, but that's out of -the question. We must find something cheap -to experiment with on land, and if it works -I'll send the scheme to the Admiralty, and -they'll provide funds for marine tests."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! I suggest we take the -things in order. Soot first. What about -that? There won't be much in the chimneys. -Mother Trenchard's sure to have had a spring -cleaning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We'll see. Combustibles are easily got."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Fire-lighters! You can get 'em at old -Noakes's; they make a fine smoke themselves -and a jolly good stink. Splendid!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They might do. I don't see my way to -numbers three and four at present, but I'll -ask Trenchard if he has anything he could -let us have cheap; he takes a great interest -in my inventions."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good, old bird. I say, it's about supper-time; -we'd better get back. You didn't say -anything to Mrs. Trenchard about barley -water and fried onions and margarine?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not yet."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good man! She'll be quite satisfied -with Aunt Caroline's love. Come on."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At supper, in the farmer's raftered -living-room, while Templeton was considering how -to open up the matter of soot with -Mrs. Trenchard, Eves suddenly began to sniff.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Is that a smell of soot?" he said. "Does -the chimney need sweeping, Mrs. Trenchard?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There now!" exclaimed the farmer's -wife, a comfortable-looking matron some -years younger than her husband. "If I -didn't say to Trenchard I was sure the noses -of you London gentlemen would find it out! -Us country bodies don't notice it, bless you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves grinned.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis true," the good woman went on; -"it do need the brush. But there, what can -you do when the milingtary takes the only -sweep in the village and makes a soldier of -him? I declare I didn't know him, he was -so clean. 'Tis a strange thought: the war -makes men clean and chimneys dirty."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And takes away my appetite," said Eves, -with his mouth half full of bacon. "Look -here, Mrs. Trenchard, you're going to market -to-morrow morning; why shouldn't we sweep -the chimney for you while you're away? I'm -sure Templeton and I could do it, and we'd -like to, awfully."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis very kind of you, that I will say; -but I couldn't abear to think of you dirtying -yourselves."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, that's nothing. We get dirty enough -on the farm."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But that be clean dirt, not like the bothersome -sut. Besides, there's no chimney brush -and no rods."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite unnecessary," declared Eves. -"Templeton has invented a new way of -sweeping chimneys, haven't you, Bob?" He -gave him a kick under the table. "You've -no idea what a lot of useful notions he's got -in his head."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well now, did you ever?" said Mrs. Trenchard. -"Do 'ee tell me all about it, Mr. Templeton."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"To-morrow, Mrs. Trenchard," said Eves, -hastily. "You see, it's quite new, and hasn't -been properly tried yet. An inventor never -likes to talk about his inventions until he's -proved they're a success."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay sure; he's in the right there," said -Mr. Trenchard.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I knew you'd agree," said Eves. "Well, -then, we've settled that we sweep the chimney -while you're out, Mrs. Trenchard, and we'll -tell you all about it when you get back. -You'll be delighted, I assure you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When they went up to the room they -shared, Templeton turned upon his chum a -face of trouble, and began:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Look here, old man, it isn't right, you -know. You know very well I have not -invented a way of——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hold hard! You don't mean to tell me -you haven't got it all cut and dried?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, when you began gassing, of course -I had to think of something to save my face."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I knew it! The idea was there; it only -wanted switching on, like electricity. What's -the scheme?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Still, I don't think you ought——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The scheme! Out with it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I thought we might get on the roof -with a long cord, with weights and a bundle -of straw tied to one end, and jerk it up and -down inside the chimney."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And the soot falls, and great is the fall of -it! Splendid! Couldn't be better. We'll -have a ripping day to-morrow."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Next morning, soon after breakfast, Mrs. Trenchard -set off for the market town, driving -one of the light carts herself. The farmer went -off to his mangold fields; the maids were -busy in the dairy across the yard; and the -inventors had the house to themselves. The -simple materials they needed were easily -obtained, and within an hour the novel -sweeping apparatus was ready. It had been -decided that Templeton should climb to the -roof, while Eves remained in the room to see -how the invention succeeded.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Only when he was left to himself did it -occur to Eves that something should be hung -in front of the fireplace to prevent the soot -from flying into the room, as he had seen done -by professional sweeps, and he ran to the -potato shed to find an old sack or two that -would answer the purpose. While he was -still in the shed, a man entered the yard and -looked cautiously around. He was a strange -figure. A straw slouch hat, yellow with age, -covered long, greasy black hair. His long, -straight upper lip was clean shaven, but his -cheeks and chin were clothed with thick, wiry -whiskers and beard. He wore a rusty-black -frock-coat, grey trousers very baggy at the -knees, and white rubber-soled shoes. It was -none other than Philemon Noakes, the owner -of the village store, grocer, oilman, draper, -seedsman—a rustic William Whiteley.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Seeing no one about, he approached the -farmhouse, walking without once straightening -his legs, glanced in at the open door, -then round the yard, and, after hesitating a -moment, entered the room. Mr. Trenchard's -desk, open and strewn with papers, stood -against the wall to the left. Noakes walked -to it, and had just bent down, apparently -with the object of looking over the farmer's -correspondence, when a muffled sound from -the neighbourhood of the fireplace caused him -to start guiltily and turn half round.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At that moment Eves, carrying a couple of -sacks, arrived at the door. Seeing the man -start away from the desk, he stepped back out -of sight to watch what was going on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes, as if to resolve a doubt or satisfy -his curiosity, crept across the room, doubled -himself, and looked up the chimney. There -was a rattling sound, and Noakes was half -obliterated in a mass of soot, clouds of which -floated past him into the room. Hatless, -choking, rubbing his eyes, he staggered back.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 72%" id="figure-119"> -<span id="there-was-a-rattling-sound-and-noakes-was-half-obliterated"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND, AND NOAKES WAS HALF OBLITERATED."" src="images/img-029.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND, AND NOAKES WAS HALF OBLITERATED."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Mr. Noakes, what </span><em class="italics">are</em><span> you up to?" -said Eves, entering with the sacks. "What a -frightful mess you're in!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext" id="id1"><span>"'Tis your doing," spluttered Noakes, -shaking the soot from his clothes. "'Tis -you, I know 'tis, and I'll—I'll——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Gently, Mr. Noakes, don't be rash. Why -you should accuse me when I'm perfectly -innocent—you've hurt my feelings, Mr. Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What about my feelings?" shouted the -angry man. "'Tis a plot betwixt you and -t'other young villain, and——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, Mr. Noakes, with every consideration -for your wounded feelings, I must say I -think you most insulting. Who on earth was -to know that you'd be paying one of your -visits just at the moment when the chimney -was being swept, and would choose that very -moment to look up the chimney? You -surely didn't expect to find Mr. Trenchard -there?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes glared; at the same time his eyes -expressed a certain uneasiness. How much -had this smooth-spoken young ruffian seen? -Picking up his hat he shook the soot from it, -rammed it on his head, and strode to the door. -There he turned, shouted, "You've not heard -the last of this," and hurried away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When Templeton came in a minute later he -found Eves sitting back in a chair, shaking -with laughter.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My word, what a frightful mess!" -exclaimed Templeton. "I forgot all about a -covering. It's nothing to laugh at."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, isn't it! If you'd only seen him, -soot all over his greasy head, and the more he -rubbed his face the worse it got."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What on earth are you talking about?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Old Noakes. It's a priceless invention, -Bob. Great minds don't think of little -things, but </span><em class="italics">I</em><span> remembered the covering and -fetched these two sacks. When I got back -Noakes was here, prying into Trenchard's -papers. But I fancy he heard a sound, for he -went over to the chimney, and then—by -George! you've missed the funniest sight ever -seen. He's only just gone, in a most frightful -paddy."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't wonder. Don't see anything -funny in it myself. I called down 'Are you -ready?' and if you'd been here as we arranged -it wouldn't have happened."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course it wouldn't, and old Noakes -wouldn't have been jolly well paid out for -sneaking. What's he want nosing about at a -time when he thought every one was out? -Trenchard must be told."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't know about that, but I do know -we'd better clear up this mess before -Mrs. Trenchard gets back."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Or she'll think precious little of your -invention. It's a great success, anyway; you've -got more soot than you expected. And old -Noakes carried away a lot."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>In Mrs. Trenchard's absence there was to -be no midday dinner. After clearing up the -mess with the assistance of one of the -dairy-maids (who called it "a rare messopotamia -as anybody ever did see"), the two lads -went to join the farmer at lunch in the fields.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That there invention, now," said -Mr. Trenchard. "Hev it worked?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" said Eves, emphatically. -"We've got two good sacks of soot and scared -a slug."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It don't take a mighty deal to do that, -sir," said the farmer with a smile. "I'll find -that soot useful, and I'm much obleeged to -'ee, to be sure."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, but, Mr. Trenchard, could you spare -me some?" said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"For another invention," Eves added. -"He's got a jolly good idea for protecting our -ships from the U-boats, and soot's in it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As much as you do want, surely. I'd gie -more'n a little to scrimp them there engines of -iniquity."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And perhaps you could help me with -something else," said Templeton. "I want a -sort of metal box; any old thing would do, -something that's no good for anything else."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I can find 'ee summat, I b'lieve. There -be an old tank in the shed behind the dairy, -where I keep th' old tricycle."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A tricycle!" exclaimed Eves. "What -about that for number four, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The very thing! Will you lend it or sell -it, Mr. Trenchard?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll take no money from a young gent as -is inventing for his country, danged if I will. -'Tis a old ancient thing that I bought five-and-twenty -year ago for me and the missus."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A sociable!" cried Eves. "We are in luck's way."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis called such, I b'lieve," said the -farmer. "Ay, 'tis many a year since -the missus and me went gallivanting about the -country. She were a nesh young maid then, -so to speak it; you wouldn't think it to see the -size she've growed to. I've kep' th' old thing -for the sake o' them gay young days."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If you can spare us this afternoon, I'd -like to experiment with it," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Surely, and welcome, and I hope 'twill -serve 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Hurrying back to the farmhouse they drew -the tricycle from the shed and tried its paces -over the yard. It was rusty and stiff, but a -little oil eased the parts, and Templeton was -delighted with his number four. The tank of -which Mr. Trenchard had spoken was made -of galvanised iron, and had several holes -pierced in each side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The very thing!" cried Templeton. -"We'll make some more holes at different -heights, Tom."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What for?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My idea is to rig up some trays inside the -tank, one above another; there are several old -sheets of iron lying about. They'll hold the -soot and combustibles."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By George! we forgot to ask Mother -Trenchard to bring some firelighters."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Never mind about them for the moment. -We'll bore holes just above the trays, and -put in some straw soaked in paraffin, and light -it. Then when we start there'll be a fine -draught through the holes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid! But shan't we be fairly choked?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course we'll rig up the tank behind us; -the smoke will all blow back."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves eyed the tricycle dubiously.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It'll be the dickens of a job to fix this -heavy tank," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, we'll manage it. There's plenty of -wire about, and we can hunt up something -that will do for stays."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They worked energetically all the afternoon. -Templeton's patience and ingenuity triumphed -over all difficulties. The tank slipped off -several times, but at last it was firmly fixed -with an elaborate arrangement of stays and -wire, and when Mrs. Trenchard returned, -between five and six o'clock, she beheld her -guests careering round the farmyard, making -a trial trip.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I never did see!" she exclaimed, -pulling up the horse at the gate. "Whatever -hev happened to the old tricycle?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves waved his hand gleefully.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" he cried, as Templeton halted -the machine beside the cart. "A new invention, -Mrs. Trenchard."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis like the butcher's contraption I saw -in the town, only the box is behind instead of -afore. What be the hidden meaning of that, -I'd like to know?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It won't be hidden long, Mrs. Trenchard. -But the sun will be hidden; there'll be an -eclipse to-night."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Go along with your rubbish, Mr. Eves. -The sun will go down at his proper time, -whatever the clocks do say; they Parlyment -men up along at Lunnon can't make no -eclipses, don't think it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Templeton means to; don't you, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He </span><em class="italics">does</em><span> talk rubbish, Mrs. Trenchard," -said Templeton, earnestly. "All that he -means is that we're going to try making a -thick smoke, to see if we can hide our ships -from the German submarines."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, never did I hear the like o' that! -You'll need a powerful deal o' smoke, Mr. Templeton."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course, this is only experimental, on a -very small scale. If it succeeds——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He'll be rolling in wealth, and you shall -have a new bonnet, Mrs. Trenchard," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, me! That do remind me of my boy -Joe, to be sure; allers a-going to be rich and -gie me a new bonnet. And now, poor boy, -he's in them there horrible trenches, and the -rats——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Cheer up, Mrs. Trenchard," said Eves, -hastily, spying a tear. "I'm sorry for the -rats, from what you've told us of Joe. I'm -sure you want your tea after your long day. -We want ours, I can tell you; and after tea, -Templeton will give you a demonstration of -this splendid invention. I say, Bob," he -added, when Mrs. Trenchard had gone into -the house, "while they're making tea there'll -be just time for you to cut down to the village -and buy some firelighters at old Noakes's. I -don't suppose he'd serve me. Hurry up."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Trenchard returning from the fields a -few minutes later, Eves unburdened himself.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Mr. Trenchard," he said, "when I -told you we scared a slug, I didn't mean one -of those small slimy things, you know. I -meant Mr. Noakes. I caught him poking his -nose into your papers this morning. I think -you ought to know."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do 'ee tell me that, now?" said the -farmer, looking distressed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Honest Injun. He was over at your desk -when we were sweeping the chimney, and the -fact is, he got a mouthful of soot and went -away fuming."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'd never have believed it, and him a -chapel member," said Mr. Trenchard. "Don't -'ee go for to anger Mr. Noakes, sir, med I -beseech 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right. I dare say he'll keep out of our -way. Of course, if he's a friend of yours——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I wouldn't say that, sir, but as the Book -do say, 'as much as lieth in you, be at peace -wi' all men.'"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! If the other chap -won't be at peace with you, then you must -go for him. Splendid!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After tea they made their first trial at -smoke production. Placing a layer of soot -on each of the trays, with a couple of -fire-lighters in the midst, they lit some straw -soaked in paraffin, poked it through the holes, -and began to treadle the machine round the -yard, the farmer and his wife looking on at -the door. A considerable volume of smoke -poured out of the tank, but when they pulled -up, Mr. Trenchard said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis a noble beginning, to be sure; but I -own, so to speak, I could allers see that there -tank through the smother, and if I understand -your true meaning, that hadn't oughter be."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite right," said Templeton. "We want -more of a draught, Tom. Larger holes and -greater speed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto!" said Eves. "Will you chisel -the holes larger? Then we might start on a -real cruise—down the hill to the village, say. -You can't work up much speed in the yard. -What do you think of it, Mrs. Trenchard?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I know why my chimney wanted sweeping -so bad, Mr. Eves. Ay sure, ye're just as full -of mischief as my Joe."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Half an hour's work with a chisel and -hammer sufficed to enlarge the holes. They -then filled up the trays with more soot and -firelighters, kindled a fire, and when the -smoke began to surge, ran the machine out at -the gate on to the high-road. A winding hill, -nearly half a mile long, led down to the -village. The slope was not very steep; -the tricycle with its tank was heavy, and the -bearings rusty; but by dint of hard pedalling -they soon worked up a good speed, and the -increased draught caused the smoke to pour -forth in a dense cloud, ever increasing in -volume and pungency.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Meanwhile in the village young Noakes had -noticed the first issues of smoke, and ran into -his father's shop shouting:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Feyther, feyther, Farmer Trenchard's -ricks be afire!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes, in a state of great agitation, rushed -to the door in his apron, glanced up the hill, -and cried, excitedly:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Fire, fire! Run and rouse up the neighbours, -Josiah. 'Tis a matter o' hundreds o' pounds. Fire!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The boy set off through the village at a -frantic run, shrieking "Fire!" at the top of -his voice. Out rushed the baker in his singlet -straight from the oven; the butcher in blue -with his chopper; the smith from his forge, -rolling up his leather apron; the agricultural -labourers, smoking their after-tea pipes; the -village constable in his shirt-sleeves. The -little street filled with women and children, -the latter flocking to the shed where the -village fire manual was kept, and towards which -the tradesmen, members of the volunteer fire -brigade, were hastening. Waiting only to don -their helmets, the men dragged the clumsy -machine forth, Noakes being the most -energetic, and began to drag it up the hill, the -children following in a swarm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It do seem out a'ready, sonnies," said -the smith, before they had gone many yards.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's true as gospel," said the baker. -"Do 'ee think I med go back to my dough, -neighbours?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They came to a halt. It was the interval -during which Eves and Templeton were -overhauling and restocking the machine.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis a mercy for Trenchard," added the smith.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A merciful Providence," murmured -Noakes, the lines of anxiety disappearing -from his face. "Run up along and tell -neighbour Trenchard how we all do heartily -rejoice, Josiah."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The boy started, but the moment after he -had turned the first corner he came rushing -back with his eyes like saucers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Feyther," he yelled, "fire bain't out. 'Tis -blazing worse, and ricks be ramping down -along like giant Goliath!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis a true word, save us all!" cried the -baker. "What in the name——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, sonnies, haul away," cried the -smith. "Ricks hev staddles but no legs, as -fur as I do know. 'Tis the wind blowing the -smoke down along. Now, all together."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The windings of the road, and the hedges -on each side, prevented them from getting a -clear view of this singular phenomenon. All -that they were aware of was a dense cloud of -black smoke approaching them very rapidly. -They had just restarted the manual engine -when, round the bend just ahead, the tricycle -shot into view with a huge trail of smoke -behind it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sakes alive!" gasped the smith.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The children yelled, and fled down the road. -The men, after an instant's dismayed irresolution, -scattered up the banks into the hedges, -leaving the engine standing half across the -road. Noakes, on whose face a dark flush had -gathered as he recognised Eves, backed into -a hazel and flourished his fists.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton, who was steering, tried to turn -the machine into the hedge before it reached -the manual. But he was a shade too late; the -off wheel fouled the engine; the tricycle spun -round; its riders were flung into the hedge, -and the trays, parting company with the tank -as it overturned, were distributed in several -directions, bestowing a good portion of their -noisome contents impartially among the -members of the fire brigade.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 77%" id="figure-120"> -<span id="its-riders-were-flung-into-the-hedge"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE."" src="images/img-048.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>The inventors picked themselves up, rubbed -their elbows, and approached the discomfited -villagers, who, coughing and spluttering, were -now descending into the road. Templeton -looked serious; Eves wore a broad grin.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, I'm extremely sorry," began the former.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sorry be jowned!" shouted the baker. -"Sorry won't clean my hands, and my dough -a-spoiling."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis rank pison!" cried the butcher.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Assault and battery and attempted murder," -shrieked Noakes, furiously. "Wi' my -own firelighters!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Let us discuss it calmly," said Templeton. -"No one can regret more than I the—the -inconvenience to which you have been put, -quite without intention, I assure you——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But the fact is," Eves interposed, pointing -to the manual, "you were on the wrong -side of the road. Constable, I appeal to you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The constable, who had left his fire helmet -in the hedge, scratched his head, the villagers -looking at him expectantly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, neighbours all," he said, slowly, -"the law's what it is, and I'm not the man, -being sworn in my office of constable—'t ud be -high treason or worse to gainsay it. And I -don't care who the man is, that there manual -be on the right when the law says it oughter -be on the left, and no true man can deny it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's for horses and carts, for horses -and carts," fumed Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As a man I respect you, neighbour -Noakes," said the constable, solemnly, "but -as a officer of the law I say you don't know -nothing about it. The manual's a vehicle; -well, then, the law's no respecter of persons, -and what be law for a horse and cart be law -for a manual; ay sure, for a baby's pram, if -so be a pram was in custody."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all very well," said the baker, -"but what's the law say about foul smoke? -Tell us that, constable."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Foul smoke be from factory chimneys; -t'other smoke bain't foul."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course not," said Eves. "You've got -the law at your finger-ends, constable. The -penalty for being on the wrong side is a heavy -fine, isn't it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That depends on whether 'tis Squire -Banks or Sir Timothy on the bench, sir."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, my friend won't prosecute, I'm -sure. And when I tell you he was trying a -new invention for beating the Germans, you'll -be sorry you've ruined it through being on -the wrong side of the road."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wish we'd knowed that afore, sir," said -the smith. "The truth on't is, we thought -'twas Farmer Trenchard's ricks afire."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And like true Britons you rushed to help -your neighbour. Splendid! I'll tell -Mr. Trenchard how promptly the brigade turned -out; he's very lucky in having such good -friends."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Speaking for us all, sir——" began the smith.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not for me," Noakes interrupted, savagely.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hear what the man hev got to say, -neighbour Noakes," said the baker. "Mebbe -I won't agree with him myself, but I'm not -the man to say so afore he's hawked it out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Speaking for us all," the smith went on, -"I'm certain sure there's not a man of us but -hopes the gen'lman's invention bain't ruined -out and out. Anything as will beat the -Germans hev our hearty good wishes, eh, souls?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hear, hear!" cried the butcher.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There, neighbour Noakes, you was too -primitive," said the baker, reprovingly. "'Tis -a good cause we suffer in, and I'm not the -man to complain. And speaking for us all, -I say three cheers for the young gen'lman."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The cheers were given, Noakes dissenting. -Eves shook hands with them all round, -Noakes excepted. Then he helped them to -right the manual, and gave them a genial -good-bye as they trundled it off.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We've had a ripping day, Bob," he said, -mopping his brow. "The smoke was splendid—a -first-rate stink. Old Noakes's face was -a picture."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He laughed heartily.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid the tricycle is crocked for ever," -said Templeton with a gloomy look, "and I -don't approve——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, pax! You can pay Trenchard for -the old thing out of your tenner; and you're -jolly ungrateful. If I hadn't chipped in they -wouldn't have cheered you. Let's pick up -the ruins and get 'em back somehow. Buck up!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Trenchard received Templeton's apologies -for the break-up of the tricycle very -good-naturedly. He refused his offer to buy -it or have it repaired.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis come to a good end, if so be your -invention is a success," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton drew out a specification of his -smoke machine and sent it to the Ministry of -Munitions. In about a fortnight he received -a formal letter of acknowledgment. But by -that time he had almost forgotten the smoke -machine, other ideas having absorbed his -attention and activities.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="trespassers-will-be-prosecuted"><span class="bold large">TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Mrs. Trenchard that evening, after a -brief absence from the living-room, -reappeared in her best flowered bonnet and a -muslin shawl and announced her intention -of going "just there and back." Her -husband, who was reading the newspaper, looked -up and nodded. Templeton was sketching -out a specification, and did not hear what -she said. Eves gave her a cheerful </span><em class="italics">au revoir</em><span> -from the depths of the chair where he lay -at ease, and smiled at her retreating form.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis like that, sir," said the farmer, -catching his look. "'There and back' in -our family do mean a gossip with Martha Runt."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The wife of Runt the smith?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, that be the woman. I've not a word -to say against Martha—not a word; but -she be a rare workman with her tongue. We -shan't see no more of Mother till supper-time."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He relapsed into his paper, and Eves -stretched his legs and watched Templeton -steadily pursuing his task.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Trenchard returned a good hour -before she was expected. Her rosy cheeks -were flushed a deeper shade than usual; her -bonnet was awry.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I never did!" she exclaimed, pulling the -strings into a knot. "No, never in all my -born days, without a word of a lie in it—never -hev I seed or heard no such goings on."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What hev ruffled yer spirits, Mother?" -asked the farmer, mildly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You may talk till yer throat be dry as -a kex, Trenchard," cried the angry woman, -"but you'll never make me believe as black's -white—never!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What silly ass has been trying to, -Mrs. Trenchard?" said Eves, sitting up. He had -passed a dull evening.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's my boy Joe," she went on. -"What did he do, though only a Territorial -and not supposed to move a leg out of his -parish? 'Mum,' says he—you heard un -wi' yer own ears, Trenchard—''tis said here -and there they want men in France. Seems -to me I must go.' 'That heathen land!' -says I. 'Ay, that's the place,' says he; -'we're all going.' And go he did, and what -wi' the rats and the mud——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, now, don't 'ee carry on, Mother," -said the farmer, seeing that his wife's eyes -were filling. "Who've been vexing yer -soul? And I don't care who the man is——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Man! He baint no man. He's a conscientious -objection. You'd never believe it, -Trenchard. When I traipsed down along to -village, there was a crowd of a dozen or more -by church gate, and, thinks I, 'They be -talking o' young gentleman's invention'; -but, coming up to them, no such thing; 'twas -that lad of Noakes's holding forth, preaching -peace as bold as brass."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't say so, Mrs. Trenchard," cried -Eves. "That little chap with the long hair?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, no, Mr. Eves; little Josiah baint so -gifted. 'Twas Noakes's elder lad, Nahum by -name, as went away to work in Weymouth a -year or two back, and now home he comes -boasting of how he 'scaped the Army, and -telling folks the war is wrong, and we be as -much to blame as they Germans, and no one -didn't oughter fight for their country, and a -pack of rubbish. All fighting be against his -conscience, says he—a pretty conscience, -indeed, as growed sudden when the Lords and -Parlyment said every man was a born soldier. -Conscience! Why, Trenchard, you mind -how he used to leather his feyther's horse; -and many's the time I've seed un cuff and -pinch his little brother till the poor soul -hollered wi' pain. The likes of him! What -them there tribunals be about in letting him -off when good boys like my Joe, as wouldn't -hurt a fly and haven't got no conscience—there, -'tis a scandal, and makes my blood -boil, it do."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, well, Mother," said Mr. Trenchard, -"I'll go as fur's to say I agree with 'ee; but -I wouldn't say a word against Mr. Noakes. -He's a man of renown in the parish."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The dickens he is!" ejaculated Eves, -who had followed Mrs. Trenchard's story with -the liveliest interest. Templeton, also, -having finished his draft, had listened with his -usual air of thoughtfulness.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Judging by the price he charged for those -firelighters," he said, "Mr. Noakes is a -profiteer."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Prophet neither here nor there, for all -his Bible name, and his sons' likewise," -said Mrs. Trenchard. "That there Nahum, -coming here and stuffing his unnat'ral -thoughts into the heads of our young fellers -whose time be nigh come! There was Billy -Runt, and young Pantany, and Tim Coggins, -and such—oh! it did rile me, and I hadn't -the heart to go there, so I comed home along. -And bless 'ee, he be going to wag his tongue -again to-morrow, and axed the boys to bring -all their friends to hear un."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" cried Eves. "I say, Bob, -we'll go. You can nobble the audience for -Aunt Caroline."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This suggestion was not immediately -accepted by Templeton, but in the privacy -of their bedroom it bore fruit.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This is rather serious, you know, Tom," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Broken a collar-stud, old man?" Eves rejoined.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No; I mean this speechifying. It's not -right for the fellow to turn the village boys -against military service."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Gas like that won't do much harm."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But it may. It ought to be stopped. -It's our duty to stop it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! Start an opposition -meeting and talk him down. Ripping rag!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid I'm not up to that. You see——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Leave it to me, then. I bet I can rattle -my tongue faster than Nahum Noakes. By -George! Bobby, what an awful name!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't understand, Tom. It isn't -talk that's wanted. The question is, is he -sincere? If he is—well, what about free -speech?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A free kick is more to the purpose. But -what are you driving at?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, oughtn't we to find out if he really -has a conscientious objection?—test him, you -know? Mrs. Trenchard seemed to doubt it, -and if he's a humbug he ought to be exposed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just so, Socrates. I'll kick him, and see -how he takes it. You can't take him to -pieces like a clock, and examine his innards."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's the difficulty. Your idea won't -do at all. You can't justify an unprovoked -assault."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I jolly well can. But I'm dead beat; -pedalling that heavy old machine nearly biffed -me. Sleep on it, Bob; perhaps you'll dream -one of your bright ideas."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But in the morning Templeton confessed -that he had slept as sound as a top, and hadn't -given the matter another thought. Meditation -during the day was not more fruitful, and -in the evening, when they went down to the -meeting-place opposite the church porch, -Templeton had come to the conclusion that -they had better hear what Noakes had to say, -and act as circumstances seemed to require.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On the way they met Haylock, the constable, -nodded to him, and passed on. After -a few seconds, however, Eves ran back, saying:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll catch you in half a tick, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton strolled on, too busy with his -thoughts even to wonder what his friend had -to say to the policeman, or to notice the broad -smile on Eves's face when he overtook him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They found that the meeting had already -started. A group of the male villagers, old -and young, was gathered in a half-circle in -front of a sturdy-looking fellow of some -twenty years, who was perched on the -churchyard wall. Nahum Noakes's appearance was -that of an unusually robust clerk. His black -hair was cut short; his straw hat was tilted -back, showing a neat middle parting and -well-oiled side-shows. He wore a pointed -collar and a lilac tie; his grey flannel trousers -were hitched up, revealing lilac socks neatly -stretched above brown shoes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You want to know what I said to the -tribunal?" he was saying as the two -new-comers sauntered up. His accent was that of -a countryman overlaid with a thin veneer of -town polish. "I'll tell 'ee. 'Your name?' -says the chairman. 'Noakes,' says I. -'Christian name?' says he. 'Nahum,' says -I. 'Yes, your name,' says he. 'Nahum,' -says I. 'Don't waste our time,' says he; -'what is your </span><em class="italics">other</em><span> name besides -Noakes?' 'Nahum,' says I. You see, neighbours, I -was taking a rise out of him. 'Is the man -an idiot?' says he. 'No, he's not, and he -knows his Bible,' says I. That was a good -one, wasn't it? Well, there was a young -officer there, only a lieutenant, but as stuck -up as if he was commander-in-chief. Military -representative, he's called, I believe. He -had a paper in his hand, and he cocked his -eye at it, and said: 'The man's Christian -name is Nahum, I find.' 'Oh! ah!' says -the chairman, fixing his eyeglass. 'One of -the minor prophets. Well, Nahum Noakes, -what are the grounds of your appeal?' 'I -don't hold with fighting,' says I; ''tis against -my principles.' One of the tribunal, a little -worm of a feller, pipes up: 'What would you -do, my man, if the Germans landed?' 'I'd -meet 'em as men and brothers,' says I."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Was they yer principles when you cracked -young Beddoe's skull for saying as you sanded -yer feyther's sugar?" cried a voice from the -outskirts of the crowd.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was a titter; Mr. Noakes, who had -been listening to his son's eloquence with a -fond smile of paternal pride, scowled at the -interrupter, Runt the smith.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Abuse is no argument, Mr. Runt," said -Nahum, obviously nettled. "What happened -years ago when I lived in the village -is not to the point. Since I've been a resident -in the town I've done a deal of deep thinking, -I can tell you, and studied a lot of subjects -you've never heard of——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ever study phrenology?" asked Templeton, -moving forward with Eves into the circle.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Got it?" whispered Eves, eagerly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Perhaps," returned Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Nahum stared at his questioner. The -villagers drew together, Runt winked at -Coggins the butcher. Mr. Noakes looked -annoyed, and stiffened his long, straight -upper lip.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You said?" began Nahum.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I asked you if you had ever studied -phrenology, the science of reading the mind -through the skull."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I won't exactly say that I've been -very deep into it, but——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Allow me," interrupted Eves, who had -taken his cue. "Having only just returned -to the village, you don't know my friend, -Mr. Templeton, who has gone very deeply into -loads of things, I assure you. Mr.—I think -you said Nahum Noakes—you are really a -splendid specimen for the phrenologist, and -a little examination of your bumps——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Nahum started back as Eves approached.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is quite painless, I assure you," said -Eves, soothingly. "Mr. Templeton will only -pass his hand gently over your head, and from -the configuration of the cranium he will read -your character like an open book."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't think I need even touch your -head," said Templeton. "If you will kindly -just raise your hat—</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Give it a trial, Nahum," said Runt. At -first puzzled, like the rest of the villagers, -he had now risen to the situation, and was -ready to lend his aid in its development.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"See if the young gen'l'man be right," -added Coggins. "We all know 'ee, from a -baby up'ard."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Half suspicious, angry at the interruption -of his discourse, and still more at the sniggers -of some of the younger members of the group, -Nahum seemed to think that to acquiesce -was the shortest cut out of his quandary. -He took off his hat. Templeton stood in -front of him, inspecting his head with the -gravity of a judge at a cattle show. Nahum -looked simply foolish.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton moved slowly round, and leant -on the wall to get a back view of Nahum's head.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, it seems genuine," he said at last. -"I don't find the bump of pugnacity."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Which means that he doesn't mind what -you do to him?" said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just so. He's not a fighter."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Nahum's face cleared; his father shed a -gratified smile around the group.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Supposing some one pulled his nose?" -Eves went on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He couldn't possibly resent it," replied -Templeton. "It would be quite safe."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A loud guffaw from Runt brought a flush -to Nahum's cheeks, and a scowl to his brow.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'd like to see any one try it," he muttered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Instantly Eves shot out his hand, seized -the somewhat prominent member in question, -and pulled. Nahum sprang from the wall and -hit out. Eves nimbly evaded the blow, -and for half a minute dodged up and down -like the matador at a bull-fight, pursued by -the infuriate youth, who became only the -more enraged as his clenched fists beat upon -empty air. Shouts of laughter broke from -the crowd. "Mind yer principles," cried -the smith. "Gie un a larruping!" bellowed -Mr. Noakes. Templeton looked worried.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At this moment the constable elbowed his -way into the arena.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good now, gen'l'men," he said; "this be -what the law do call a breach of the peace, -and I'm not so sure but 'tis time to take 'ee -both into custody for obstructing the police -in the execution of his duty." He took -Nahum's arm. "Come, come, sonny. I -be surprised, and you such a man of peace -as never was."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, and he axed the gen'l'man to pull his -nose, he did so," said the smith.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"True, he said he'd like to see any one try -it," said Coggins. "The gen'l'man only took -him at his word—hee, hee!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Aware now of the pitfall into which he had -fallen, Nahum broke away from the constable, -plunged through the crowd, and hurried -away, followed closely by his father.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A rare good randy, sir," said the smith to -Eves, "but I hope Philemon won't make 'ee -pay for it. Howsomever, Nahum's tongue -won't wag no more, maybe, and that'll be for -the good o' the nation."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Another ripping day, Bob," said Eves, -as he walked home with Templeton. "That -idea of yours was splendid."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I was quite serious," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You always are, old man. But you don't -mean to say you really meant to feel the -fellow's bumps?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I did, till I funked the bear's grease."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And there really is a bump of pugnacity?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course there is—combativeness, they -call it. It's at the back, low down. The -fellow hadn't got a trace of it. I really -think——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'll be the death of me, Bob. A fellow -who lashed out like that not combative? -Why, you can see it in his face—bully's -written there as plain as a pikestaff. It's jolly -lucky you've got me to work out your ideas! -Anyway, it was a good rag, well worth half-a-crown."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What do you mean?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I tipped old Haylock half-a-crown -to barge in if he heard a row. That leaves -me four and elevenpence halfpenny."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>A few days later Lieutenant Cradock, -military representative at the county tribunal, -rode over on his motor-bicycle and had a -short interview with Constable Haylock. -With the constable perched on the carrier he -went on to Trenchard's farm, and found Eves -and Templeton digging energetically along -the border of a field. A conversation ensued, -freely punctuated with laughter, and the -officer rode away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Next day a summons reached Nahum -Noakes to attend an adjourned meeting of the -tribunal. The chairman announced that an -incident reported by the military representative -hardly squared with the appellant's -professions, and Nahum Noakes, passed A1, -was handed over to the military authorities.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Spring and summer had been very dry, -and Farmer Trenchard's fields, lying on a -rocky upland, gave promise of but an -indifferent harvest. The growth was thin, -the stalks were short and yellow, the husks -lean. The farmer had almost given up hope -of his cereals, and his root crops could only -be saved if the drought was soon broken.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On the morning following the affair of -Nahum Noakes's bumps Mr. Trenchard was -walking along the edge of one of his fields, -looking disconsolately at the drooping -upper-growth of the carrots. Eves and Templeton -were hoeing some little distance away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here's old Noakes," said Eves, suddenly. -"Wonder if he's come to grouse about yesterday?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Noakes, dressed as usual in his rusty -frock-coat, but wearing a new straw slouch -hat—his old one had not survived its bath -of soot—was shambling up the field to meet -the farmer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Marnen, neighbour Trenchard," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Marnen, Mr. Noakes," returned the -farmer, with the air of timidity that marked -all his intercourse with his neighbour. The -two men stood together, Noakes smug and -self-satisfied, Trenchard downcast and almost -humble.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It do seem you'd be the better for a drop -of rain," Noakes went on. "The ground -be dust dry. Them there carrots baint no good."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"True; I'm afeared 'twill be a bad year wi' me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, we're in the hands of Them above," -said Noakes, smiling and rubbing his hands -slowly together. "The old ancient men of -Egypt had their lean years and their years of -plenty; we can't look for no different in these -here end o' the world times."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, Mr. Noakes, I don't gainsay 'ee, but -'tud hev made all the difference to me, a good -moist season. I be afeard I shall have to -axe 'ee——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not a word, neighbour. Sufficient unto -the day, you know. Not but what 'tis a -misfortune to 'ee, but things may take a turn."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He thrust his hands into his pockets and -stood for a few moments scanning the fields; -then after a word or two of a general nature -moved away, without having appeared to -notice the two boys.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Cut dead!" said Eves with a grin. "A -good thing too; I loathe the fellow. Poor -old Trenchard will be wretched all the rest -of the day. I wonder why he always looks -so hang-dog when Noakes is about? He -couldn't look worse if Noakes was his -landlord and he couldn't pay the rent. And upon -my word, Noakes has cheek enough for two. -I saw him prodding the cattle the other day -as if he owned 'em, or would like to. What -do you think about it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Eh? about Noakes? I wasn't thinking -of him," said Templeton. "I was wondering -whether we couldn't do something to help -save the old man's crops."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, old chap, if you can invent rain——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't be an ass. Of course I can't. -But I don't see why we shouldn't irrigate, -as they do in India."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We haven't got an Indus, and the river -down there is too far away, and below this -level. You can't make water run up-hill."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But there's the brook just at the edge of -the field, behind that ridge. All we've to do -is to divert it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My good man, it's miles below the top of -the ridge. Besides, there's not much water -at the best."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's enough. We should have to -build a dam, of course. Then the water -would collect till it rose to the height of the -ridge and flowed over, and we could carry it -over the fields through small drains. You -see, the stream runs straight to the sea; -there are no fishing rights to consider, and -it's not used for mills or anything of that sort."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A jolly back-aching job, digging drains -and what not. No chance of a rag. Still, -the idea's good enough, and I'd like to see -old Trenchard more cheerful. You had -better see what he says about it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The farmer was so much preoccupied with -his gloomy thoughts that he scarcely appreciated -at first the nature of the service which -Templeton offered to render. This, as Eves -pointed out afterwards, was partly due to -Templeton's manner of broaching the subject.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your jaw about irrigation and the Punjab -was enough to put him off it," said Eves, who -was nothing if not frank. "Of course, the -old countryman didn't understand; he -understood right enough when I chipped in. -There's nothing like what old Dicky Bird, -when you do a rotten construe, calls </span><em class="italics">sancta -simplicitas</em><span>."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Between them they managed to explain -the idea to Mr. Trenchard, and to win his -assent. Indeed, the chance of saving his -crops had a magical effect on his spirits.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It do mean a mighty deal to me," he -said; "more'n you've any right notion of. -I wish 'ee success, that I do."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They started work on the following -morning. From the rocky banks of the stream -they rolled down a number of stones and -boulders and piled them in the channel to -the height of the ridge, forming two adjacent -sides of a square. Then up stream they cut -a quantity of brushwood, which, being set -afloat, was carried by the water against the -piled-up stones. This occupied them the -whole day, and they left for the next the final -operation—the digging of earth to stop up -the interstices through which the water still -flowed away, and the carrying of it in -wheelbarrows to its dumping places.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was while they were digging that -Lieutenant Cradock arrived to interrogate them -about the conscientious objections of Nahum -Noakes. About half an hour after his -departure Nahum's father appeared on the -scene, breathless from hurrying up the hill -from the village. He had pumped Constable -Haylock, who was a simple soul, and had -learnt enough about the recent interview -to feel a gnawing anxiety as to the fate of -his beloved Nahum. He was hatless, and -wore his apron, with which he wiped the -shining dew from his face as he stood watching -the diggers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Marnen, gen'l'men," he said, presently, -in the tone of one who would be a friend. -"'Tis warm work 'ee be at, surely."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A warm day, Mr. Noakes," said Templeton, -resting on his spade. Eves went on digging.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, sure, 'tis warm for the time o' year, -so 'tis. Vallyble work; if there be one thing -I do admire, 'tis to see young gen'l'men go -forth unto their labour until the evening, as -the Book says—earning their bread with the -sweat of their brow. Ah, 'tis a true word."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton was too modest to acknowledge -this compliment. Eves went on digging. -Mr. Noakes hemmed a little, and stroked his -beard.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Purticler such young gen'l'men as you -be," he went on, "as hev gone deep into book -learning and gives yer nights and days to -high matters. That there finology, now; -that be a very deep subjeck—very deep -indeed; wonderful, I call it, to read into -the heart through the head. Nobody 'ud -never hev thought 'twere possible. And so -correck, too; my boy Nahum, as peaceful -as a lamb—you was right about that there -bump, sir."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He certainly hasn't got the bump of -combativeness," said Templeton; "but——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, yes, to be sure; he was a trifle -overtaken with yer friend's joke, as any young -feller might be; but I told un 'twas just a -bit o' juvenile high spirits, and so he oughter -hev took it. 'Let not the sun go down upon -yer wrath,' says I, and bless 'ee, he smiled -like a cherub next day, he did. That there -bump be a good size on soldiers' heads, now? -I warrant that young officer man as I seed -down in village has a big un."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I really didn't think to look, Mr. Noakes," -said Templeton, patiently.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Only think o' that, now, and I felt in my -innards he'd come up along a-purpose. You -didn't say nought o' finology, then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, it was mentioned—just mentioned."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And Mr. Templeton assured Lieutenant -Cradock that your son hadn't the slightest -prominence in that part of the skull," Eves -broke in. "In fact, it's the other way about."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wonderful ways o' Providence!" said -Mr. Noakes, rubbing his hands together and -smiling happily.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I'm bound to say——" Templeton began.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come on, Bob; shovel in, or we'll never -get done," Eves interrupted. "There's -enough stuff dug; let's cart it down. We're -trying an experiment in irrigation, Mr. Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah! irrigation. It needs a dry soil, to -be sure; it'll grow well here—very well -indeed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves smothered a laugh, and let Templeton -explain. The explanation, strangely enough, -brought a shadow upon Mr. Noakes's face. It -darkened as he watched the dumping of the -earth upon the dam. He was silent; his -mouth hardened; and after a few more -minutes he shambled away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid we've given him a wrong -impression," said Templeton, anxiously.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, he shouldn't be sly. Besides, if -he's ass enough to think 'finology' will go -down with the tribunal, that's his look-out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They worked hard through the rest of the -day, and by tea-time the water had begun to -trickle over the ridge in many little rills. It -seemed, indeed, that there would be no -necessity to dig the channels of which -Templeton had spoken, the slope of the ground and -the natural fan-like spreading of the streams -promising that in due time the whole field -would be thoroughly watered. Tired, but -well pleased with the success of their -experiment, they returned to the farmhouse.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Trenchard had been absent all the -afternoon. At tea they told him what they -had done, and he cheerfully assented to their -suggestion that he should go with them to -the ridge and see for himself their irrigation -works.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was dusk when they started. The ridge -was at an outlying part of the farm, and as -they strolled across the intervening fields -Eves suddenly exclaimed:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's that?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Some hundreds of yards ahead, a whitish -object, not distinguishable in the dusk, was -moving apparently along the top of the ridge. -In a few seconds it disappeared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That was one of they rabbits after -my turmuts, I reckon," said the farmer. -"Terrible mischeevious little mortals they be."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob," cried Eves, "we might have -a rabbit hunt one of these days."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We've a lot of other things on hand," -said Templeton, dubiously. "You see, there's -the tar entanglement, and——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There it is again," said Eves, pointing -towards a hedge some distance to the left -beyond the ridge. "Rabbits don't live in -hedges, do they, Mr. Trenchard?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not as a general rule," replied the farmer, -cautiously; "but there's no saying what -they'll be doing. He's gone again; we've -frighted him away."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, here you see what we've done," -said Templeton. "The dam there holds -back the stream, the water is forced to rise, -and it's now finding its way over the ridge -in many little rivulets which I daresay by -to-morrow morning will have flowed right -over the field."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well to be sure!" said Mr. Trenchard. -"Now that's what I call a downright clever -bit of inventing. And to think that there -stream hev been a-running along there all -the days of my life, and I never seed no use -for un! 'Twill be the saving of my roots, -young gen'l'men, and I'm much beholden to 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was as though a load had been lifted -from the old man's mind. He was more -cheerful that night than his guests had yet -seen him, and was easily persuaded to join -them and his wife in a rubber of whist.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Early hours were the rule at the farm. By -nine everybody was in bed but the two -strangers. They were always the last to -retire. About ten they had just undressed. -It was a hot, sultry night; the bedroom, -low-pitched and heavily raftered, was stuffy; -and Eves, after blowing out the candle, -pulled up the blind and leant out of the -window to get a breath of what air there was. -The sky was slightly misty, and the moon, -in its last quarter, threw a subdued radiance -upon the country-side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By George!" exclaimed Eves, suddenly; -"there's that white thing again."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What does it matter?" said Templeton, -who was getting into bed. "We've got to be -up early; come on."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come and look here, you owl. That's no -rabbit. It's bobbing up and down, just -where the dam is. I'll be shot if I don't -believe some one's interfering with it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This suggestion brought Templeton to the -window at once. Side by side they gazed out -towards the ridge.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This is serious," said Templeton. "If -it really is any one interfering with our work——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We'll nip him in the bud. Come on; -don't wait to dress; it's quite warm. Get -into your slippers. We'll go out of the back -door without waking the Trenchards and -investigate."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Two minutes later they were stealing along -under cover of the hedge that skirted the -field to be irrigated. Arriving at the ridge -some distance above the dam they turned to -the left, and bending double crept towards -the scene of their toil. There, rising erect, -they saw Mr. Noakes up to his thighs in the -stream, hard at work pulling away stones -and earth from the dam.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The water was already gurgling through.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hi there! What the dickens are you up -to?" Templeton cried.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The man turned with a start, and faced -them. He appeared to be undecided what to do.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What are you about?" repeated Templeton, -indignantly. "What right have you to -destroy our dam?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What right!" said the man, indignant -in his turn. He was still in the water, and, -leaning back against the dam, he faced the -lads in the misty moonlight. "What right -hev you two young fellers, strangers in the -parish, to play yer mischeevious pranks here? -'Tis against the law to interfere wi' the -waterways o' the nation, and the Polstead folk -hev their rights, and they'll stick to 'em. -Ay, and I hev my rights, too, and I'm a known -man in the parish. This here stream -purvides me wi' washing water, and to-morrow's -washing day. You dam up my water; I -can't wash; that's where the right do come in."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear sir," said Eves, gravely, "however -much you want washing, and however -much it is to the interest of your neighbours -that you should wash, the interests of our -food supply, you must admit as a patriotic -man, are more important. Wash by all -means—to-morrow, when the dam, having -done its work, will no doubt be removed. -For my part, I have a distinct bias in favour -of cleanliness. If a man can't be decent -in other things, let him at least be clean. -There was young Barker, now, a wretched -little scug who wore his hair long, and always -had a high-water mark round his neck. My -friend Templeton, of whose ingenuity you -have seen proofs, had an excellent invention -for an automatic hair-cutter. But I am -wandering from the point, which was, in a -word, how to be happy though clean——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves was becoming breathless. He -wondered whether he could hold out. Templeton -gazed at him with astonishment; as for Mr. -Noakes, he looked angry, puzzled, utterly at -sea. Once or twice during Eves's oratorical -performance he opened his mouth to speak, -but Eves fixed him with his eyes, and held -up a warning hand, and overwhelmed him -with his volubility.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, how to be happy though clean," -Eves went on; "there's a text for you. -Cleanliness is an acquired taste, like smoking. -The mewling infant, with soapsuds in his -eyes, rages like the heathen. The schoolboy, -panting from his first immersion—my hat!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The expected had happened. During -Eves's harangue, the water had been eating -away the pile of soil and rubbish which had -been loosened by Mr. Noakes's exertions. -Without warning, the dam against which -the man was leaning gave way. He fell -backward; there was a swirl and a flurry, and -Mr. Noakes, carried off his feet by the rush -of water, was rolled down stream. His new -soft straw hat, which had betrayed him, -floated on ahead.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton sprang over the ridge and -hastened to Mr. Noakes's assistance. For -the moment Eves was incapacitated by -laughter. Fortunately the stream was not -deep, and after the first spate it flowed on -with less turbulence. Templeton gripped -the unhappy man by the collar, and hauled -him up after he had been tumbled a few yards. -Breathless, he stood a pitiable object in his -frock-coat and baggy trousers, his lank hair -shedding cascades.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 74%" id="figure-121"> -<span id="templeton-gripped-the-unhappy-man-by-the-collar-and-hauled-him-up"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY THE COLLAR, AND HAULED HIM UP."" src="images/img-076.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY THE COLLAR, AND HAULED HIM UP."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A most unfortunate accident," said -Templeton. "You see, by removing some -of the stones——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Noakes, your hat, I believe," -interposed Eves, handing him the sodden, -shapeless object which he had retrieved from the -stream. Mr. Noakes snatched it from him, -turned away, and started downhill. Never -a word had he said; but there was a world of -malevolence in his eye.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We had better get back and dress," said -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What on earth for?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, we can hardly repair the dam in -our pyjamas."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves laughed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're a priceless old fathead," he said. -"Repairs must wait till the morning. I can -never do any work after a rag."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A rag! But it was a pure accident, due -to the idiot's own meddlesomeness."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Most true; but it wouldn't have happened -if I hadn't kept his attention fixed by -the longest spell of spouting I ever did in my -life. It was a ripping rag, old man, and now -we'll toddle back to bed. The one thing that -beats me is, what's his motive? He'd hardly -take the trouble to smash our dam just to get -even with us, would he? That's a kid's -trick. There's something very fishy about -old Noakes."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Templeton had not settled which among -his many ideas to work at, when accident -launched his imagination upon a new flight.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>One day the village was stirred to unusual -excitement. Two items of local news, -following quickly one upon the other, gave the -folk so much matter for gossip that the -amount of work they did was reduced fifty -per cent. The first was that Nahum Noakes's -final appeal had failed; the second, that -young Wilfred Banks, the son of Squire Banks, -one of the local magnates, had been seriously -injured by the fall of an aeroplane.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Trenchard, having been "there and -back," was full of the story.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay me, to think of a nice pleasant young -gentleman like Mr. Wilfred lying at death's -door through one o' they dratted airyplanes! -That venturesome he always was, as a little -small chiel. 'Tis against Nature to try to fly -like the birds, that's what I say, and what can -you expect? The world do be turning -topsy-turvy, and all through they Germans."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That night, just as Eves had turned over to -sleep, he was roused by a call from Templeton -in his companion bed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What is it?" he murmured, drowsily.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've got an idea," was the reply.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, sleep on it, old man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You know very well that I can't get a -wink till I see daylight."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then you've got about five hours. Good night!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course I meant a light on the problem; -you're so literal. You see, the evolution of a -perfectly stable machine——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves interrupted with a groan.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I suppose I must be a martyr," he said, -"but I wish you'd arrange for your ideas to -come in the morning. Fire away! I'll keep -awake if I can, but cut it short."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're a good sort, Tom. Really I'd -like to know what you think of it. You see, -an aeroplane ought to balance itself -automatically, and I've got an idea for -automatically adjusting the surfaces of the planes so -that the machine will instantly adapt -itself to gusts of wind, side-slips, and so on."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good idea! Good night."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hold hard. You haven't heard the idea -yet. My arrangement would be electric. -Beyond the extremities of the frames I'd have -a light framework on which an extension of -the plane could be pushed out by a steel rod -actuated by a small electric motor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I can go to sleep at once, then, because -that won't work. It means more weight."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, no; we'll argue it out. Weight's -becoming less and less important every day. -Look at the weight of bombs an aeroplane -can now lift. Anyhow, the point is that the -motor would be controlled by the movement -of the plane. A sphere moving in a -horizontal channel would be affected by the -slightest inclination of the plane. I'd arrange -by a series of electrical contacts——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I haven't worked out all the details yet; -how could I? But the effect would be that -the farther the sphere moved the farther the -rod would push out the extension of the plane -on the side required. And when the aeroplane -had righted itself, the sphere would -return to neutral."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My sleepy brain is fairly dazed with your -rods and spheres and the rest. Hang all -that! The question is, would the extension -idea work? Would the lengthening of the -planes meet the case?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course it would. It's easily proved. -All you want is a glider."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, old man, the idea's ripping, and -being a reasonable chap, you'll agree that -you've got to go one step at a time. I don't -say you're wrong, but treat me as a bit of a -sceptic, who wants everything proved."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Very well; I'm not unreasonable. We'll -set to work and make a glider; then you'll see."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto! Feel more easy now? Hope -you won't wake in the night."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton was just dozing off when from -Eves there came:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'll have to cut into your tenner at -last. Bye-bye!"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>During the next week they did very little -"work on the land." Farmer Trenchard, -impressed as usual by Templeton's earnestness, -allowed them as much leave as they -wanted, and they devoted themselves during -the hours of daylight to the manufacture -of a glider. A journey to the nearest town -and the cashing of the £10 note furnished -them with the wood and the textile fabric -they needed, and Templeton had sufficient -skill in carpentry to fashion two wings, light -enough for his purpose, yet strong enough -to sustain him. His funds would not run -to an electric motor, but he thought that, -for his first experiments, the lengthening -rod might be actuated by stout cords running -over pulleys.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The contrivance was finished after a week's -hard work. Tested in the farmyard, the -lengthening apparatus worked smoothly; it -only remained to try it in the air. Templeton -had already marked a suitable spot for the -trial—a sloping field some little distance from -the farm, too steep for cultivation, and -occupied usually by cattle fattening for -Coggins, the butcher. It was enclosed by a -thick hedge except at the gate, and that was -kept locked, and blocked with brushwood.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I think perhaps we had better ask -Coggins's leave to use his field," suggested -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't do anything of the sort," replied -Eves. "We don't want a crowd of yokels -looking on. If the thing goes all right, you -can invite the village to an exhibition."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The morning chosen for the trial was warm -and still. No danger from gusts of wind was -to be anticipated. Mounting the glider on -two wheels from the old tricycle, patched up -for the occasion, they wheeled it up to the -field and managed with some difficulty to -hoist it over the gate, after having cleared -a way through the obstructing brushwood. -At the far end a few cattle were peacefully -grazing. The well-cropped hill was a smooth -inclined plane of springy turf.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They carried the machine to the top.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I bag first go," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, I can't agree to that," said Templeton. -"You see, though I'm pretty sure it -will work all right, there's bound to be a -certain risk, and as it's my idea I ought to -test it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's no reason at all. Cooks never eat -their own cake. Besides, if there is an -accident, much better it should happen to me -than you. </span><em class="italics">I'm</em><span> not an inventor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I still maintain——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, don't let's waste time. Let's toss for -it. Heads me, tails you. A use for my -half-penny at last. Here goes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He spun the coin.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Heads! There you are. Now fasten -the straps on my shoulders, and give me a -gentle shove off."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The glider was not fastened to the wheels, -Templeton's theory being that, having been -started on them at the top of the hill, it would -almost at once gain "lift" from the air. So -it proved. After a few yards it rose slightly; -a little farther on it was quite clear of the -ground, and Eves, with legs bent and arms -stretched out on the wings, enjoyed for a few -brief seconds the exhilaration of aerial flight. -Then, however, it began to tilt. Mindful of -Templeton's careful instructions and the -preliminary test in the farmyard, Eves tugged -at the appointed rope, which should have -thrown out an extension of the wing, and, -according to Templeton's theory, have -restored the balance. Unhappily the -mechanism that had worked so smoothly before now -proved treacherous. The machine swerved -to the left, and crashed into a bramble-bush -in the hedge at the foot of the hill.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton rushed down in great agitation, -sprang into the hedge regardless of scratches, -unloosed the straps, and hauled Eves out.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, you're not hurt, old man?" he -asked, anxiously.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm pretty well pricked, confound the -thing!" said Eves. "The wretched cord jammed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But the theory's all right."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hang the theory! Look here, old man— Hullo, -here's old Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes, accompanied by a thick-set -countryman in corduroys and leggings, had -come over the crest of the hill just as the -accident occurred, and run down almost on -Templeton's heels.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've cotched 'ee," he cried, panting. -"You're my witness, Ted Smail. Cotched in -the act, the mischeevious young vipers. I'll -have the law of un."</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 74%" id="figure-122"> -<span id="i-ve-cotched-ee-he-cried"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""'I'VE COTCHED 'EE,' HE CRIED."" src="images/img-085.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"'I'VE COTCHED 'EE,' HE CRIED."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear sir, I don't think it has anything -to do with you," said Templeton. "My -friend, as you see——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your friend, and you too, be a-trespassing -on my field and a-ruining my property, and -the law'll have something to say about that."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ruined a bramble-bush!" said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And the bush has ruined my clothes," -Eves added.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That there's my hedge, and you've been -and knocked a hole in it, and——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At this moment his tirade was suddenly -interrupted by a bellow behind him. A bull, -excited by the vagaries of the glider, had -trotted up from the far end of the field to -investigate, and further roused, probably, by -Noakes's loud tones and waving arms, threw -down its head and charged. The men -scattered. Eves and Templeton made for the -gate and vaulted over. Noakes ran one way, -his friend another. The bull plunged straight -at the glider, sticking in the hedge, and -smashed it to splinters. Then it dashed after -Noakes, who, seeing no other outlet, flung -himself into the ditch below the hedge and -scrambled through the tangled lower branches -only just in time to escape the animal's horns.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We must offer to pay Noakes for the -damage," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rot! We haven't done tuppence-ha'-penny -worth; and how do we know it's his field?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sure he wouldn't say so if it wasn't, -and there's certainly a hole in the hedge. -I'll just see what he says."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes, hatless, dishevelled, and scratched, -was coming towards them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm willing to pay any reasonable sum for -damages, Mr. Noakes," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Are ye?" replied the man with a grin. -"I be main glad to hear it. You shall have -the bill, don't 'ee make no mistake about that. -But I won't take no money 'cept by judge -and jury."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He passed on, and stood at the gate until -his friend should find it convenient to join him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Two days later Constable Haylock came to -the farm, and, with an apologetic air, handed -to Eves and Templeton each a blue document, -summoning them to appear at the justice -court to answer a plaint of trespass and -damage on the part of Philemon Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This is serious," said Templeton. "You -see, we've no defence. We did break his -hedge and disturb his tenant's cattle, as he -says. I wonder what the penalty is?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A fine of £5, old man, I expect," said -Eves, cheerfully. "Don't you worry; I did -the damage, and I can't pay."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sure </span><em class="italics">I</em><span> can't. That glider cost -£7 16*s.* 4*d*. I haven't half £5."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, they'll give us seven days C.B., or -whatever they call it, and you'll have to write -to Aunt Caroline to bail us out. Jolly good -idea! We'll be able to give her tips in food -economy after a week of prison fare."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's no joking matter. She'll be upset; -no Templeton of our family has ever been in -prison."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't say so! You'll make a record, -then. Splendid!"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>On the appointed day they appeared before -the justice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis Squire Banks's day," whispered -Haylock as they passed him at the door. "He -baint such a hanging judge, so to speak it, as -Sir Timothy."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes gave his evidence, Smail corroborated -it, and Squire Banks asked the culprits -what they had to say in their defence.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It was like this, sir," began Eves, before -Templeton could start; "my friend -Templeton devotes a lot of time to trying -experiments—working out ideas for useful -inventions. When he heard of that accident to a -flying man the other day"—the old gentleman -looked interested—"he kept me awake -at night talking over an idea for making an -aeroplane automatically safe. I confess I -was sceptical, and it's my fault all this -happened, because it was to prove his theory -to me that he made a glider; it cost him over -£7, sir; and we couldn't find a better place -to try it on than that hilly field. I'm afraid -I was clumsy; at any rate, the thing came -to grief——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But the principle of it is quite sound," -Templeton put in.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But, of course, you're not concerned with -principles here, sir, but only with law," Eves -went on. "We didn't know the field belonged -to Mr. Noakes, or I assure you we wouldn't -have touched it with a pole, and as to damage, -my friend offered to pay any reasonable sum."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But didn't I understand that you caused -the damage?" the squire interposed, his -eyes twinkling. "That being the case, ought -not the offer to pay have come from you?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid it ought, sir; but—well, I've -only got four and elevenpence halfpenny."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There were smiles in the court at this -ingenuous confession.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Mr. Templeton offered to pay," the -squire went on. "What then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Noakes wouldn't hear of it, sir," Eves -answered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Is that so, Noakes?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes had to confess that it was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come, now, Noakes, brambles grow very -fast, and any hedger will close the gap for -eightpence. It's a trumpery matter. You -young fellows can pay half-a-crown between -you for the damage, and Noakes must pay his -own costs; it's an unreasonable action. Call -the next case."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly old trump!" said Eves as they -went out. "And I'm jolly glad the old boy's -son is getting better."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On reaching the farm, Templeton found -awaiting him a letter from his aunt, written -in reply to one he had sent her more than a -week before. She explained the long delay -by the fact that the letter had pursued her -through three counties. "I am delighted to -hear," she wrote, "that you have not yet -spent </span><em class="italics">any</em><span> of the money I sent you. It shows -great </span><em class="italics">strength of character</em><span>. You will be -pleased to hear that my lectures are a </span><em class="italics">great -success</em><span>. I expect to reach Polstead in about -ten days, and I shall be so glad if you will -do a little thing to prepare my way. My -lectures are </span><em class="italics">thoroughly practical</em><span>; it is useless -to talk about economical foods if the dear -people cannot procure them. I want you -to see Mr. Philemon Noakes for me; he is -the </span><em class="italics">principal tradesman</em><span> in the village; and -ask him if he will </span><em class="italics">very kindly</em><span> lay in a stock -of certain </span><em class="italics">cheap</em><span> articles of which I will send -you a list. A personal interview is so much -more satisfactory than a formal letter, and -you will find Mr. Noakes a </span><em class="italics">very civil and -obliging person</em><span>."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My hat!" cried Eves, laughing. "What -a rag! I'll come with you, old man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton looked worried.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="a-gas-attack"><span class="bold large">A GAS ATTACK</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Mr. Noakes made no further attempt -to interfere with the irrigation of Farmer -Trenchard's fields. The two lads repaired -the dam, gave the parched ground a thorough -soaking for two days and nights, then -demolished the simple structure and allowed -the stream to pursue its usual course.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton, meanwhile, had been anxiously -weighing the claims of the other ideas that -jostled in his brain. He wanted to perfect -his automatic hair-cutter; to experiment with -what he called, in advance, a "levitator"—a -contrivance for enabling an aeroplane to -rise more rapidly; to test his notion of a -tar entanglement, and various other sound -schemes. Unfortunately the incomplete -hair-cutter had been confiscated by his head -master, and it would take weeks to construct -a new one. The levitator was out of the -question at present, for it would cost a good -deal more than the two pounds odd which -remained out of his aunt's gift. Several -ideas were unworkable for the same reason, -and he had almost resolved on the tar -entanglement when, with that suddenness to -which inventors are accustomed, a quite -new idea shot into his mind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He had been reading, in a war correspondent's -dispatch, about the star shells and -Verey lights which were used at night to -throw a fitful illumination upon the hostile -lines. Eves noticed that as he cleaned his -teeth before going to bed he made frequent -pauses, holding the tooth-brush motionless -for some moments at a time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's up, old man?" asked Eves, who -was already in bed. "Got toothache?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No; I was thinking," replied Templeton, -rubbing again. "You see——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I can't hear through the bristles. -Hurry up, or I shall be asleep."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton finished his toilet, blew out the -light, and got into bed, sitting up and clasping -his knees.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Those flash-lights, you know—they don't -last long enough. What our fellows want is -some continuous illumination."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What about the moon?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You know perfectly well the moon doesn't -shine for half the month."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I thought perhaps you'd invented an -artificial moon. But expound, old bird."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you know the prevailing wind in -winter is from the west. Why shouldn't our -men start relays of light balloons——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Balloons always are light."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I mean light-giving balloons. They'd -float over the German lines and illuminate -their whole positions with a steady continuous -light."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The Huns would shoot 'em down."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not easily, for they'd be dark."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Light and dark at the same time! Go -on, Bobby; I'm sure you can prove black's white."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If you wouldn't interrupt, you'd see. The -illuminant would be attached to the balloon -by a long cord, and there'd be a shade like a -lampshade over it, so that the balloon itself -would be in darkness. It's easy enough to try."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All you want is a dozen toy balloons, a -few cubic feet of hydrogen, a slow match, and -a little magnesium wire. There you have it -on a small scale. Fill the balloons with -hydrogen, tie 'em together, fasten a slow -match and a bit of wire to each, light the -match, and send the whole caboodle up."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But magnesium wire only burns for a -second or two."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You really are an ass, Tom. We'd only -use magnesium wire for our experiment; there -are heaps of things that could be used with -big balloons at the front."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You mean to try it, then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course. Old Noakes has some toy balloons."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But what about the hydrogen? It -doesn't smell, does it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No. Why?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Only that I forget all my chemistry -except the stinks. How do you make it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By the action of an acid on a metal. -Don't you remember Zn + H2SO4 = ZnSO4 -+ H2? Iron will do as well."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's easy enough, then. But you'll -want retorts, wash bottles, pneumatic -troughs, and goodness knows what else. -Bang goes the rest of your cash, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Nonsense! Mother Trenchard has some -old pickle bottles, and we're not out to make -a specially pure gas. All we'll have to buy -will be a little acid, a few feet of glass tubing, -and a rubber cork or two. Four or five -shillings will buy the lot. We shall have to go to -Weymouth for them."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto! That's a day off to-morrow."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The morning post brought a letter from -Aunt Caroline enclosing a list of foods which -she wished Mr. Noakes to stock. Templeton -read it solemnly, and handed it to Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Mrs. Trenchard, what do you think -of this?" cried Eves. "Things Bob's aunt -is going to lecture about, you know. Haricot -beans——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They want a deal of cooking, Mr. Eves," -said Mrs. Trenchard. "You must soak 'em -overnight, and boil 'em hours and hours. I -have my doubts whether the village folk can -spare the time."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, here's dried peas."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do 'ee think the women 'll use 'em dried -when the shucks are full of green? What can -Miss Caroline be thinking of?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Tinned eggs, then."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Lawk-a-mussy, I was silly enough to buy -one o' they tins once, and when I opened -it—there now, never in my life did I come so -near fainting afore, and me not a fainting -sort, the smell was so terrible. If that be the -kind of thing Miss Caroline's cook do give her, -'tis time I was back in my old place, that it be."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves laughed as he handed the list back to -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There are a dozen more things," he said; -"if they're all as good, old man, Aunt -Caroline will get a shock when she's heckled."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Bless 'ee, sir, and who'll be so bold?" -said Mrs. Trenchard. "Folks 'll listen, ay -sure, as meek as lambs; but buy them -things—never in the world."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Bob, you must take the list to -Noakes. You must do something for your -tenner. Tell you what: I'll go to Weymouth -for the chemicals and things. By the time -I'm back you'll have seen Noakes and got the -bottles and other things ready. Noakes -wouldn't serve me, I'm sure."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So it was arranged. Eves hurried through -his breakfast and just caught the carrier's -cart that conveyed passengers to the junction. -Templeton finished leisurely, and then, not -much liking his job, walked down to the village -to interview Noakes. As he came to the shop -door he heard Noakes addressing a customer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, I tell 'ee, you can't have no sugar -without you buy tea and bacon."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But 'twas only the day afore yesterday I -bought my quarter of tea, sir," said a woman's -voice, plaintively; "and I must have sugar -to stew my plums for the children's dinner."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Bain't no good you standing there -whining about yer children. No sugar without -t'other things; that's my last word to 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Excuse me," said Templeton, entering the -shop. "Is there a new order from the Food -Controller? If I'm not mistaken, there have -been several prosecutions lately of——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now look 'ee here," cried Noakes, -angrily, "I bain't a-going to stand no more -nonsense from you. Who be you, I'd like -to know, coming and ordering me about in -my own shop?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Far from it, Mr. Noakes. I only wished -to give you a hint that your customer is -entitled to buy sugar without any conditions, -and it's silly to put yourself in the wrong."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes glowered and blustered, but -previous experience of Templeton's determination -had taught him a lesson, and ultimately -he served the woman with a half-pound of sugar.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I want half a dozen of those toy balloons," -said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They bain't for sale," growled Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Indeed! You hang them up as ornaments, -I suppose. Perhaps you'll sell me -some if I buy some sugar, say."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Get out of my shop," cried Noakes, -furiously. "I tell 'ee I won't serve 'ee, and -I won't have you imperent young fellers in -my shop at all, so now you know it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton shrugged his shoulders. Taking -his aunt's letter from his pocket, he opened it, -and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There must be a mistake. My aunt says -that the principal tradesman is a very civil -and obliging person. You know her—Miss -Caroline Templeton. She is coming down in -a few days to lecture on food economy, and -wants you to lay in a stock of various things -of which I have a list. But perhaps she is -referring to somebody else, and it's no good -bothering you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At the mention of Miss Templeton's name -an uneasy look settled upon Noakes's face. -He watched Templeton replace the letter in -his pocket, then said hesitatingly, in a milder -tone:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"When be the lady coming, sir?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"In ten days or so, and as the letter was -written some days ago, it may be under a -week from now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The look of uneasiness gave way to a smile. -Noakes turned his back, and Templeton, -resolving to have nothing more to do with the -man, left the shop.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Thinking it probable that he might get -some balloons at the nearest village about -five miles away, Templeton set off to walk -there. Eves would not be back till the -afternoon; there was plenty of time. As he left -the shop he met the man Smail, who had -been in Noakes's company on the day of the -experiment with the glider. The man leered -at him and passed on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When Templeton, unsuccessful in his quest, -returned to the farm at midday, he found -Mrs. Trenchard in a state of great agitation.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, Mr. Templeton," she cried, bursting -into tears, "to think I've lived to see this day!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, what's the matter, Mrs. Trenchard?" -he asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's there, sir," she nodded towards her -husband's little den, "and 'tis ruin to us, and -we'll have to go to work'us, and my poor -Joe——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come, Mrs. Trenchard, don't be upset. -Just tell me all about it. Nothing has -happened to Mr. Trenchard, I hope?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Only a broken heart, sir. Ah! if he'd -only telled me afore! We've had bad times, -as you know, sir; 'twas worse than I knew, -and my poor man kep' it all to himself, so's -not to worrit me. He went and borrowed -money of Mr. Noakes, sir, to tide him over -harvest. I don't know the rights of it; 'tis -too much for my poor head; but by what I can -make of it Trenchard signed a paper to say as -if he didn't pay back the money by a certain -time the farm 'ud belong to Mr. Noakes, and -a week afore the time Mr. Noakes could put -a man in to see as we didn't rob him. And -he's in now, sir, in there—'tis Ted Smail, a -rascal of a man as knocks his poor wife about. -And what I'll do, Them above only knows."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't Mr. Trenchard turn him out?" -asked Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis the law, sir; Trenchard owned it all, -poor man, and axed my pardon, he did, for -bringing it on me. Ah! if he'd only telled -me afore! A week's such a little time to get -all that money. When he telled me, wi' tears -in his eyes, I said, 'Now just you run up along -to Lunnon and see your brother, as keeps a -public-house and is rolling in money. He'll -help 'ee, and I'll work myself to skin and bone -to pay him back.' And he'd just time to -catch the train at the junction, and if his -brother be hard, as some be, there's nothing -but the work'us for us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Cheer up, Mrs. Trenchard. Let's hope -for the best. I'll talk it over with Eves when -he gets back, and we'll see what can be done."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank 'ee kindly, sir, but don't 'ee go -against the law. The law be a terrible creature."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In the afternoon Eves returned with his purchases.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There you are, old man," he cried, -"acid, stoppers, and tubing. You've got the -balloons?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No. I say, Tom, this experiment's off -for the time; things here are in a deuce of a mess."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He gave an outline of the domestic troubles.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Whew!" Eves whistled. "So that's old -Noakes's game. That throws a flood of light -on the old villain's doings. But we'll dish -him yet. The first thing is to get this fellow -Smail out of the place. That will make the -old woman feel a little easier."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't see how we can do that. Trenchard -signed the deed or whatever it's called, and -you may be sure that Noakes kept on the -right side of the law."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, let's go and see."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They opened the door of the farmer's little -room, and beheld Smail lying on his back on -the sofa placidly smoking a very rank tobacco. -On a chair was a basket of provisions and -several bottles of beer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, my man," said Eves, "your boots -are rather dirty, you know."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Smail closed one eye and said nothing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mrs. Trenchard doesn't like it, you -know," Eves went on. "Don't you think -you'd better go?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The man was still silent. Eves mutely -consulted Templeton. Smail was a big, -thick-set fellow; a physical struggle with him -might end in disaster.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Look here, how much do you want to -go?" asked Eves. ("I've got some change," -he whispered to Templeton.)</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the man spoke. Winking and waving -his pipe, he declared, hoarsely:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here I be, and here I bide."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We'll give you ten shillings," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here I be, and here I bide."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, all right, bide away," said Eves, -taking Templeton by the arm. "Rotten -tobacco, ain't it, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They returned to the other room and sat down.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We can't starve him out," said Eves. -"The beggar's got grub enough for a week."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If we could only entice him out it would -be all right," said Templeton, "because I -believe I've read somewhere that a bailiff or -whatever you call him can't legally force his -way into a house."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, only beer would entice that sort of -bounder, and he's got plenty of that. He's a -big hulk, but we </span><em class="italics">might</em><span> manage to chuck him out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Dangerous that. Even if we succeeded, -we might find ourselves in court again."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves stuck out his legs and pondered. -Suddenly he sat up straight.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By Jove, I've got it!" he cried. "We'll -stink him out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How do you mean? It would have to be -a powerful stink to upset a fellow who can -smoke that tobacco."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course; and I haven't wasted my time -in the lab, old man. I never took any -interest in chemistry till I learnt how to make -stinks. What about H2S? The very thing. -Splendid! We've got the acid; all we want -is—by Jove! where can we get some iron -pyrites? That means another trip to Weymouth."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And you probably won't get it there."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hang it all; can't we make it some other way?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wait a bit. Don't you remember old -Peters making it once by boiling sulphur with -tallow? And he told us you get a more -steady flow of gas that way. We've probably -got all we want on the premises. But how -are you going to get it into the room?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We'll have to find a way. Let's go and -investigate."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Inquiry of Mrs. Trenchard elicited the -information that her store cupboard ran along -the whole length of the room in which Smail -had made himself at home. The wall between -them was rather thick, but it would certainly -not be impossible to pierce a hole in it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" said Eves. "We can make -the gas in the store cupboard, and pass it -into the room through one of our tubes. Of -course, we'll have to lock the man in."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The gas won't drive him out of the -window," said Templeton. "In fact, if he -keeps that open the smell will never be -strong enough."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You may be sure the window won't be -open. A fellow of that sort revels in fug. -No doubt he'll take an afternoon nap -to-morrow. That'll be our time. He'll wake -up choking, and if I know my man he'll -make a dash for the window and tumble -out into the open—by the way, I suppose the -gas won't actually poison him?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No; the worst effect, I believe, is sickness -and dizziness. We had better start boring -our hole to-night, when he's asleep. If we're -careful he won't hear us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We must get Mother Trenchard to take -out her stores. Shall we tell her why?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Better not. I'll just say we want to -try an experiment."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Trenchard somewhat reluctantly -agreed to remove her stores for a short time. -From her they obtained a quantity of tallow -and a few sticks of brimstone, and in the -privacy of their bedroom they broke up and -pulverised one of the sticks, and boiled a little -of the sulphur powder with tallow in a tin.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ripping stink," said Eves, putting his -head out of the window. "It's going to work -A1. We'll pound up the rest of the brimstone, -and then wait for night. This is the -stuff to give friend Smail. It will bring -him to his senses right enough."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"More likely it'll take his senses away from -him to begin with," answered his -fellow-conspirator. "But it won't do him any real -harm. Phew, what an aroma!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After dark, when loud snores from the room -proclaimed that its occupant was asleep, they -bored a couple of holes in the partition wall -with a brace and bit obtained from Constable -Haylock, who was something of a carpenter.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll lend 'em to 'ee with pleasure, sir," he -said when Eves requested the loan, "purvided -'tis for a legal objeck. As a servant of the -nation, 'tud be my ruin if so be you was -committing a felony."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all right, constable," replied Eves. -"We're only going to bore a couple of holes -for Mrs. Trenchard."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After an hour's careful work there were two -small holes in the wall, about six niches apart -and a few inches above the floor, just under -the sofa. Satisfied that all was now ready for -the morrow's experiment, the lads went to bed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Next afternoon Templeton assured himself, -by a peep from the outside through the closed -window, that Smail had settled himself on the -sofa to sleep over his heavy midday meal. -Eves then quietly opened the door, abstracted -the key, and locked the door from the outside. -Their simple apparatus was already fitted up -in the store cupboard—an old saucepan over -a spirit lamp, with two holes in the lid -through which they had passed two lengths -of glass tubing, the other ends of which -projected slightly into the room. Their next -move was to lock all the house doors, except -one leading to the garden at the back. By -this time they had found it necessary to tell -Mrs. Trenchard what they were about, and -she was rather timorously awaiting results.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Whatever you do, Mrs. Trenchard, don't -open the door to the fellow after we get him -out," said Eves, impressively. "Templeton -says he can't legally force his way in, so keep -the doors shut and leave the rest to us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton lit the spirit lamp and closed -the store-room door. In a few minutes the -nauseating fumes of sulphuretted hydrogen -stole through the cracks into the passage.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Gracious goodness, we'll all be poisoned!" -cried Mrs. Trenchard.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, it's quite harmless, I assure you, -though rather horrid," said Eves. "Look -here, Bob, you paste some strips of paper -over the cracks while I go outside and see -how things are getting on."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He went out of the back door, hastened -round to the front, and peeped in at the -window. Smail was sleeping on his back -with his mouth open, one hand dangling over -the side of the sofa. The gas being colourless, -Eves had no evidence that the experiment -was working until he put his nose to the lower -sill and got a faint whiff of the fetid odour. -Minute after minute passed, and there was no -sign that the gas was having any effect on the -sleeper. At last, however, he stirred, sniffed, -and looked round the room. Then he got up, -looked under the table, under the sofa, -examined his basket of provisions, turned up -on end two empty beer bottles. Seized with -a fit of coughing, he made for the door, tugged -at the handle, shouted, then dashed to the -window, pulled back the catch, tumbled out, -and ran towards the front entrance.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves had slipped out of sight, but the -moment the man's back was turned he ran to -the window, sprang on to the sill, and braving -the fumes, prepared to dispute any attempt -to re-enter by the same way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Meanwhile Smail was thundering at the -front door, mingling curses with cries to be -let in. At this signal that the experiment had -succeeded, Templeton threw open the door of -the store cupboard, extinguished the lamp, -and asked Mrs. Trenchard to open all the -inner doors and the upper windows, so as to -clear the air.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Finding the front door closed to him, -Smail returned to the window. Eves had -now entered the room and stood at the -window, holding a poker. Smail approached -him, scowling and squaring his fists.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just you come out o' that, you young -viper," he cried. "You've a-tried to pison -me, and I'll have the law of 'ee. That there -room's my room for now; 'tis the law; so get out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here I be, and here I bide," said Eves, -brandishing the poker. "Don't come too -near, Mr. Smail. You know so much about -the law that you'll be aware you're -committing a felony if you try to force your way -in. You don't want to go to quod again, -Mr. Smail, I'm sure. Besides, I don't think -your head's hard enough to stand a whack -from this poker."</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 77%" id="figure-123"> -<span id="here-i-be-and-here-i-bide-said-eves-brandishing-the-poker"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""'HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,' SAID EVES, BRANDISHING THE POKER."" src="images/img-111.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"'HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,' SAID EVES, BRANDISHING THE POKER."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Tom, don't be violent," said -Templeton, coming up behind him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm just explaining," replied Eves. "Cut -down to the village, Bob, and fetch old -Haylock. He'll expound the law to Mr. Smail."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Smail spluttered and cursed, but he was -evidently doubtful on the point of law, and -after standing irresolutely in front of the -window for a minute or so he turned on his -heel and shambled out through the gate.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid, old man!" cried Eves. -"There's no law that I know against making -a stink, and he went out of his own accord."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all very well, but the important -thing is, will old Trenchard be able to raise -enough money to pay off Noakes? I wish -Aunt Caroline were here. She'd be able to -advise; she's had a good deal to do with -lawyers, one way and another. If I knew -where she was I'd wire her."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, all we've to do at present is to keep -Smail and Noakes out till the farmer gets -back. From what I make of it, Trenchard -still has a few days' grace before his debt to -Noakes becomes due, and anything may -happen in that time."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>They kept a close watch on the house all -the rest of the day. At night all the doors and -windows were bolted, and Eves took turns -with Templeton to mount guard. The latter -was by no means sure of the legal position; -it might be that he was mistaken, and that a -forcible entry would not be a breach of the -law. The night was undisturbed, and next -morning Eves, leaving Templeton to keep -watch, went down to the village to consult -Constable Haylock.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can a bailiff, or whatever you call him, -force his way into a house?" he asked, -meeting the constable near the bridge.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well now, that's queer, danged if it -bain't," said the constable. "I've been -axed that very same question a'ready this -morning. It do seem there's debts and -executions in the wind, and folks come to -me, as stands for law and justice, to know -their true rights."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They couldn't come to a better man, I'm -sure," said Eves. "Was it old Noakes who -asked you?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, sir, if you axe me to tell state -secrets, I couldn't do it—no, not for a judge -or royal highness. I name no names; but -I'll tell 'ee what I said to them as axed me, -that being law for rich and poor. 'Force -yer way in,' says I, 'and you would be -imprisoned without the auction o' fine, 'cos -the judge med bring it in housebreaking, or -burglary if by night. But there be other -roads to market,' says I. 'If so be you -comes up quiet and finds some out-o'-the-way -door as bain't the high road, so to speak it, -into the house, and gets yer foot inside—well, -there 'tis; if those inside tries to get yer -foot out 'tis assault and battery, and the fine -forty shilling.' That's what I said, and I -make no boast, but I defy any man to give -'ee better law nor that, I don't care who the -man is."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By Jove! you're Solomon and Daniel -rolled up together," said Eves. "You're a -treasure, constable. By the way, don't say I -asked about it. I'm rather hard up myself, -but Mr. Templeton——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not a word, sir, not a word. Maybe I'll -meet yer friend up along one o' these days; -he's a gentleman and will behave as such."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves's face wore a grin when he returned to -the farm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Haylock's a priceless old ass, Bob," he -said. "Noakes has been at him, and he's -given him a tip."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who's given who? Your pronouns are -mixed up," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you don't suppose Noakes would -tip Haylock; that's for you to do. What I -meant was that Haylock has given Noakes a -tip how to get into the house without breaking -the law, and you may bet your boots we shall -have Smail up again to-night. You know -that narrow lane leading up to Trenchard's -coal-shed? It's hardly ever used. Any one -might come up there at night, and get in by -the window of the shed. There's a door -between the shed and the scullery, never -locked, and Smail can easily get into the house -that way."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't mean to say that Haylock put -'em up to that?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course not; but he told Noakes that if -he can manage to get into the house secretly -when the inmates are off their guard they -can't legally turn him out. Whether he's -right or wrong I don't know, but you may be -sure it was enough for Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Haylock ought to have warned Mrs. Trenchard."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But Noakes wasn't such a fool as to say -what house he wanted to get into. He asked -a general question, just as I did. Well, on -the way up I had a ripping idea. Your tar -entanglement—just the very thing."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What do you mean?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, if it's good enough to stump the -Huns in Flanders it's good enough to spoil old -Noakes's game. Noakes is sure to think of -the lane. We'll cover the ground with a layer -of good runny tar some inches deep and a -few feet square, and stretch a few wires -across, and Messrs. Noakes and Smail will -find themselves properly held up. I know -the very place—just where the lane runs -under the wall of the barn on one side and -a prickly hedge on the other. They couldn't -go round. Imagine old Noakes stuck fast -in the tar, like a fly in treacle."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Where's the tar to come from?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's a barrel in the outhouse; -Trenchard uses it, no doubt, for tarring his -fences. We could melt that down, and it -would keep sticky a long time this hot -weather."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I don't see why we need take all that -trouble. All we've got to do is to lock the -door between the scullery and the coal-shed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hang it all, where's your enterprise? -Don't you see, you owl, we'd kill two birds -with one stone? We'd teach old Noakes a -lesson and test your idea at the same time. -Imagine Noakes is a prowling Hun, coming at -dead of night to surprise our unsuspecting -Tommies, stealing along, all quiet—and slap -he goes into the tar. Come, man, it's -splendid."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton came round to his friend's view, -and they lost no time in making their -preparations. The lane was apparently used only as -a short cut from the high-road when coal was -brought to the farm. It was just wide -enough to allow the passage of a cart, and even -on a bright night was dark, owing to the tall -hedge on one side and the high blank wall on -the other. At its darkest spot, ten or a -dozen yards from the house, Eves set to work -to prepare the ground. He measured off a -space about four yards long, and at the end -farthest from the house dug the soft earth -to the depth of four inches. Working back -from this point, in the course of a couple of -hours' diligent spade work he had made a -shallow excavation in the lane, varying in -depth from four inches to eight. Meanwhile -Templeton had broken up the tar and melted -it down in the small portable copper which -the farmer used for conveying tar from place -to place. They ladled the molten stuff into -the excavation, filling up to the level of the -lane.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hope they won't smell a rat—which is -tar backwards," said Eves. "Perhaps the -smell will have gone off a bit by the time it's -dark. Tell you what, we'll cover it lightly -with farm litter, and strew some more between -here and the road; perhaps one smell will kill -the other."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Last of all they carried two strands of stout -wire across the lane, about half-way along the -tarry patch, and three inches above its -surface.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good!" cried Eves, surveying the completed -work. "In the darkness they won't -see a thing."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Suppose they don't come this way at -all?" said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're a horrible pessimist. Is there a -better way? Aren't all my deductions good? -Well, then, cheer up, and see if you can -manage to laugh when the flies are trapped."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>About half-past nine (summer time) Eves -and Templeton left the farmhouse by the -front door. Mrs. Trenchard locked the door -behind them, and they had previously assured -themselves that all the other doors and -windows were securely fastened. Each -carried a shot-gun. Two guns were always -suspended on the wall of Mr. Trenchard's den, -and it had occurred to Eves that they might -prove useful.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a dark summer night. There was -no moon, and the starlight was too feeble -to throw any illumination upon the -tree-bordered high-road. The lads' intention was -to walk down the road until they came to -the lane, to hang about the entrance there -until they discovered the approach of -Smail, and then to take cover in the angle -between the hedge and the road, behind the -visitor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They had hardly left the farm gate when -Eves's quick eyes detected a small figure -lurking in the shadow on the farther side of -the road.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Noakes has posted a scout," he whispered. -"They're going to make the attempt. But -this is awkward, Bob. We shall have to -dispose of the scout; I fancy it's long-haired -Josiah."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I bar that," said Templeton, decisively. -"I'm not going to hold up the youngster, or -anything of that sort."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right; there's no need. Leave it to me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They walked on, giving no sign of having -seen the boy, who slipped behind a tree-trunk -as they neared him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, it's just the night," said Eves in a -loud voice, as though continuing a discussion. -"Just the night rabbits like. Slip round -quietly to the wood; there'll be hundreds -skipping about in the darkness. It's nearly a -mile away; allow half an hour to get there and -back, and an hour's sport; it'll only be eleven -then—not so very late."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>By this time they had passed the lurking -scout, who must have heard all Eves said. A -few yards farther along there was a turning -on the right, leading to a small wood. Eves -struck into this.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come on," he said to Templeton. "See -if my strategy doesn't answer."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They concealed themselves in the hedge, -and a few seconds later saw Josiah -Noakes run down the road towards the village.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There you are," said Eves. "Josiah's -run to tell his father we're off shooting rabbits, -and the coast is clear. To bring the guns was -a bright idea, Bobby."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They waited until the boy was well out of -earshot, then returned to the road, crossed it, -and entered the lane on the opposite side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Some twenty minutes later three figures -were faintly discernible on the white road, -coming up the hill.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here they are," whispered Eves. -"They're bringing Josy to protect their rear. -Now into cover!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They crept through the hedge and waited. -No footsteps sounded on the road.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wearing rubber-soled shoes," whispered -Eves. "So much the better; the tar will stick."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Presently the voice of Noakes in subdued -tones came to them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, Josiah, do 'ee stop here at the end -of the lane, and if so be you see or hear any -one coming up or down along, do 'ee run and -tell us—quiet as a cat, mind 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right, feyther. I'll tell 'ee sure enough."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The men passed on. Smail sniffed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A powerful smell o' tar, Mr. Noakes," he -said in a hoarse murmur.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mm'm," grunted Noakes. "Trenchard -don't tar his fences till autumn. 'Tis some -mischief o' they young varmints, belike. -I'll tar 'em!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You be sure o' the law, Mr. Noakes? -Young feller said summat about my being in -quod </span><em class="italics">again</em><span>. How did he know I been in quod?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quiet, Smail. I'll answer for 'ee, man. -Now, you go for'ard, straight along. When -you get into coal-shed, gi'e me a whistle."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not if I knows it. I can't get in that -there winder wi'out being hoisted, and 'tis -you must hoist me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Stuff and rubbish! Winder's low, and -don't 'ee see 'tis best I shouldn't be seen, if -so be the door inside's locked and you can't -get in?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The men had halted some yards from the -patch of tar. Smail was insistent. Noakes -declined to accompany him to the shed, and it -seemed to the two watchers that matters had -come to a deadlock.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, Bob," whispered Eves, "we must -give them a start."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He pulled back the trigger of his gun, -causing a slight click.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's that?" murmured Smail.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I didn't see nothing," returned Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I heard something."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Twas a bird in the hedge, then. My -Josiah would have give us warning if he seed -any one, and they young fellers be a mile -away. Get on, Smail; ten shillings extry, man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He took Smail's arm and led him, still -reluctant, up the lane. They had just reached -the edge of the tar when there were two loud -reports from the direction of the hedge a few -yards behind them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Startled, they plunged forward, floundered -through the first few feet of the tar, tripped -over the wire, and sprawled at full length, -more or less mixed up with each other, in the -deeper end.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 77%" id="figure-124"> -<span id="they-tripped-over-the-wire-and-sprawled-at-full-length"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED AT FULL LENGTH."" src="images/img-128.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED AT FULL LENGTH."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" whispered Eves. "Your tar -entanglement is a great success, Bob. Let's -get back; we can very well leave them there."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As they returned to the road they heard -the rumble of cart wheels coming up the hill, -and voices. The cart stopped.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's young Josiah speaking," said -Templeton. "We had better wait and -explain, Tom."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right, the cart's coming on again."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They reached the farmyard gate and stood -waiting. The lamps of the vehicle fell upon -their faces, and both started when a lady's -voice exclaimed:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Robert!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Aunt Caroline!" said Templeton in an -undertone to Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And Trenchard!" cried Eves. "What luck!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A ramshackle fly pulled up at the gate, and -Mr. Trenchard assisted Miss Templeton to -alight.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What has happened?" asked the lady. -"We heard shots, and a little boy came -running down the hill crying that his father -was killed. It is Mr. Noakes, Mr. Trenchard -says."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite a mistake, Aunt," said Templeton. -"I </span><em class="italics">am</em><span> glad to see you. Come in; I'll -explain. This is my friend Eves."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, yes; but the boy was greatly agitated. -Run after him, Robert, and tell him -that his father is </span><em class="italics">not</em><span> killed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My hat!" muttered Eves, with a grimace, -as Templeton sprinted down the hill.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What was it, Mr. Eves? I am greatly -concerned that the little fellow should have -had such a terrible shock."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Miss Templeton, I really—you see—oh, -yes, it was Bob's tar entanglement, you -know. But Mr. Trenchard has told you -about old Noakes, I expect."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Trenchard has told me things about -Mr. Noakes that I cannot credit. But I do -not understand—a tar entanglement, you said?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, an invention of Bob's, you know; -a splendid thing. But there's such a lot to -tell: won't you go into the house? Then -Bob and I can tell you between us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Very well. Give the driver ten shillings -for his fare."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've only four and elevenpence half-penny," -said Eves, with a smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Dear me! Then I must ask the driver -to come to the house. My notes are in my -dressing-case. One cannot be too careful."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>By the time Miss Templeton had found her -money and paid the driver Templeton was back.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's all right, Aunt. The boy is going -home with his father."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves grinned.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh!" said Miss Templeton. "Now, as -Robert is out of breath, perhaps you will be -good enough, Mr. Eves, to run down and tell -Mr. Noakes that I desire to see him here, -without fail, at ten o'clock to-morrow -morning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves threw a melancholy look at Templeton -as he departed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Trenchard had received her visitor -with transports of delight. It came out that -Mr. Trenchard, having failed in his errand in -London, had encountered Miss Templeton on -his way back at the junction a few miles -away, and, completing the journey with her, -had explained the circumstances that had -led to his absence from home. The lady -heard his story with mingled incredulity -and indignation. On its repetition by -Mrs. Trenchard she exclaimed:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am amazed and horrified, Martha. Do -you know that when I was last here, ten -years ago, that man Noakes came to me and -borrowed a considerable sum of money for -the extension of his business. He seemed a -civil and obliging person, and I was glad to -lend to a respectable tradesman—of course, -at a reasonable rate of interest. He has paid -me the interest regularly, but always regretted -that circumstances did not permit of his -repaying the loan. It is shocking to find that -he has actually used that money—my money—to -involve your dear husband in difficulties. -Such depravity! I shall deal very sternly -with Mr. Noakes to-morrow, I assure you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah! To think of it, now," said -Mrs. Trenchard. "And that dreadful man as he -put in here—well, I do owe your nephew -something, ma'am, for he and his friend -Mr. Eves blowed him out with the most terrible -smell that ever was, and no harm to a soul. -Mr. Bob's inventions are that wonderful!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, Robert," said Miss Templeton, -"I hope you have not been troubling -Mrs. Trenchard with your inventions. It was -clearly understood that you came here to -work on the land."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And so he hev, ma'am," put in Trenchard. -"Him and his friend hev worked on the land, -and done inventions as well, and one of 'em -saved my root crops, it did. I'm not the man -to say anything against inventions."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am glad to hear you have invented -something useful, Robert. Was that tar -entanglement that your friend spoke of also -an invention of yours?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, yes, Aunt, it was," said Templeton, -somewhat embarrassed. "It was an idea -for worrying the Germans, you know. But, -of course—here's Tom, he'll explain better -than I can."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, I say!" protested Eves, who had -just come in. Then he began to laugh. "My -word! He did look funny—tar from head -to foot. You see, Miss Templeton, we got -rid of that ruffian Smail once by means of -stinks—I mean, sulphuretted hydrogen, a gas -very useful in chemistry. Then, suspecting -he'd come back, it occurred to me that we -might teach him a lesson by putting into -practice Bob's idea of a tar entanglement. -It really worked out splendidly. Noakes—he's -a bad egg——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A what?" asked the lady.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A bad man, ma'am. He and Smail -came up, and we let off the guns just to -encourage 'em, and they fell slap on their -faces in the lane over there, and I'm sure they -won't get the tar off for a month."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You gave Mr. Noakes my message?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And he said he would come, no doubt."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sorry to say, ma'am, he swore like a -trooper. But in the circumstances I dare say -you would have done the same—not you, of -course. I didn't mean that; I mean any -one—that is, any man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But no gentleman, Mr. Eves."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Certainly—that is, of course not; but -then no gentleman would ever be Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes did not appear next morning. Miss -Templeton sent one of the maids to fetch him. -She came back and reported that Mr. Noakes -had been suddenly called away. He never -reappeared in Polstead. The story of the -tarring was told by Smail, who felt aggrieved, -at the village inn that night, and Noakes saw -next morning that his position in the village -was ruined. He gave instructions for the -sale of his business, and Miss Templeton -generously cancelled his debt to her in return -for his release of Mr. Trenchard.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Miss Templeton gave her lecture on food -economy, the last of her tour, and the -holidays being over, returned with her nephew -and Tom Eves to London.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A ripping holiday, old man," said Eves -as the friends parted. "Lay in a stock of -bright ideas for next year."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-clipper-of-the-road"><span class="bold large">THE CLIPPER OF THE ROAD</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"How long will you be, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't say: perhaps twenty minutes. -You needn't shout."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly sensitive, ain't you? What about -my tender spots? After I've taken the -trouble to write to your Aunt Caroline for -your address, and got it, with yards and yards -of advice to a young man, and then sacrificed -a day of my leave to hunt you up, you won't -spare a jiff to talk to a fellow, and when I -ask you a civil question, tell me not to shout, -with the wind roaring like a barrage, and -that wretched machine squeaking like——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, come now, Tom, that's not fair!" -said Templeton. "I told you I must finish -grinding these valves, then I'm free. And -as for talking, I can hear you quite well; -that's all that matters, isn't it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Been cultivating repartee with your -C.O., I suppose," remarked Eves. "Or -else your naturally amiable disposition has -broken down under the tender mercies of -the Boche. Aunt Caroline warned me, I -admit: said you had undergone great mental -strain, underlined, and were feverishly anxious -to repair your wasted life, underlined twice. -What did the Boche do to you, Bobby, old man?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Tell you by and by: must finish this job."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves sighed with resignation, and looked -round for a seat. There was nothing available -except a bench along the wall, littered -with tools and odds and ends of machinery. -Being also plentifully besmeared with black -grease, it looked far from inviting, especially -as Eves was wearing a new pair of slacks; -but he cleared a space large enough to afford -sitting room, and taking the outer sheets of -a newspaper that lay handy, spread them -on the board, seated himself thereon, and -opened the inner sheet to kill time until -Templeton should have finished his job.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Tom Eves, whose cap bore the badge of a -certain regiment of Light Infantry, was in -the final stage of convalescence from wounds -received in action before Amiens. While -in hospital he had learnt that Templeton, -taken a prisoner in the early days of the -Germans' spring offensive, was among the -first batch of officers repatriated under -the terms of the armistice, and on applying -to Miss Templeton for her nephew's address, -was astonished and amused to hear that he -was hard at work in a little Dorset town -within easy reach.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just like old Bob!" he said to himself. -"Two months' leave! And instead of -playing the giddy goat, as any sensible fellow -would do in his place, he feels he must make -up for lost time and swot away at his old -inventions. With a good balance at Cox's, -too. Aunt Caroline says she quite approves -of his spending his money in preparation for -his career—just the sort of thing she would -say! Well, I'll look him up, the old juggins, -first leave I have!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton, in fact, taking his usual serious -view of things in general and his inventions -in particular, had been unable to reconcile -himself to the prospect of two months' idleness, -after having kicked his heels for seven -months in a prisoners' camp, months during -which his brain had teemed with "notions." There -was the two-way motor; the turbine -motor; an automatic fire extinguisher; a -sound increaser; a combined tin-opener and -fountain pen, with corkscrew attachment; -a road yacht; a push and pull door-handle. -Aunt Caroline was so much impressed with -the potential public utility of the bright -ideas he expounded to her, that she placed -£25 to his credit with Cox's, and warmly -commended him when he told her that he -had found a field for his experiments in the -little town of Pudlington. "A </span><em class="italics">delightful</em><span> -spot!" she said, in her emphatic way. "A -quaint old town, quite </span><em class="italics">charming</em><span>! And </span><em class="italics">such</em><span> -invigorating air!" The manager of the -British Motor Garage, just outside the town -aforesaid, had agreed to give Templeton -facilities for experimenting in exchange for -his services—an arrangement that suited -with his own and his aunt's ideas of economy. -Wilkins, the manager, was short-handed: -indeed Templeton found himself more often -than not in sole charge of the garage, for -Wilkins was frequently absent, driving his -only serviceable car for the officers of the -camp a few miles away. Thus, when Eves -made his appearance on this bright, windy -December morning, he found his old friend, -encased in the blue overalls of a mechanic, -alone in the repairing shop, and engrossed -in the job he had in hand.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For a few minutes Eves read the newspaper, -without addressing any further remark to -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob!" he exclaimed at last, -"here's a chance for you.... All right—I -won't shout, but listen! 'G.R.—Notice. -Tenders for the purchase of waste from the -Upper Edgecombe Camp should reach the -Officer Commanding not later than noon on -Thursday, December 12.' Fortunes have -been made out of waste. Perhaps you have -tendered already: I see the paper's nearly -a week old."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I haven't," replied Templeton, curtly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you're not a rag and bone merchant, -it's true, but——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Considering that to-day's the 12th, and -it's just on eleven now, it's too late to tender, -even if I wanted to."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Which you don't! </span><em class="italics">My</em><span> bright ideas are -always nipped in the bud. I say, Bob, was -there anything in that story we heard in -our mess at Corbie—that idea of yours, you know?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Which one?" asked Templeton, pausing -for a moment in his task. He was always -interested in ideas.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, they said you were showing off -one of your inventions to a brass hat—some -sort of a door-handle, I think it was—and -he got fixed up in a dug-out, and you couldn't -release him for three hours or so, and he got -no lunch. Everybody said it was a splendid rag."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Idiots!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But wasn't it true? The story ran -through the front line trenches for thirty -miles or so, and bucked the men up no end."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It wasn't a rag at all. The fact is, -the staff-major was too impatient. He -wouldn't wait till I'd finished explaining -the idea, and the result was what you might -have expected. It was his own fault—the -idea's all right."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What about your gas machine, then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, what about it?" The inventor -was roused: he stood facing Eves, with the -air of a cat whose fur has been rubbed the -wrong way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The story that came to us was that you -nearly caused a vacancy in the command of -your battalion. Everybody said you were -taking a short cut to getting your second pip."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Asses!" growled Templeton. "The explanation -simply is that a screw was a trifle loose——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now nobody said that, Bob, I assure you. -Everybody said you were an awfully clever -chap, only——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I tell you a screw was a bit loose, owing -to the lack of suitable appliances, and the -gas came out a second or two before it ought. -And the C.O. needn't have put his nose -quite so close to the machine: I didn't ask -him to!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I suppose the adjutant was too inquisitive, -then. Not that time; I mean when you -were trying that self-adjusting bomb of -yours. The Brigade Bombing Officer was -full of it, and the mess were quite jealous, -because we never had such rags on our sector."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rags!" snorted Templeton in disgust. -"I hate the word! You know perfectly -well that I never rag. That self-adjusting -bomb was a very serious matter."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite so. It's only lucky it wasn't more -serious, isn't it? We were told it cost your -adjutant his left eyebrow and half a promising -moustache."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Grossly exaggerated!" Templeton exclaimed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As Mark Twain said when he read the -report of his own death! But what's this, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A long green motor-car was drawing up -slowly and noisily in front of the garage, -emitting a cloud of smoke. From the seat -beside the chauffeur sprang a large man, -wearing a heavily furred coat. He came -round the car and called out, before he reached -the open door of the repairing shop:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here, I say there! Can you do anythink -for this car? My fool of a shover can't -find out what's wrong, and we'll crock up -altogether if we go on like this. The engine's -knocking like anythink."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>By this time he had reached the doorway, -and he stood there facing Templeton, after -shooting one brief glance at Eves on the -bench. Templeton, looking a little more -solemn even than usual—or perhaps his -expression was partly due to the black smears -on his face—had not time to reply before -Eves put in a word.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can yer do anythink for the gentleman?" he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"P'raps you've got another car handy?" -said the stranger.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, there's none in just now," replied -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't you find one? Look here, young -feller, I'll make it worth yer while. I've -got to call on the mayor and be at the camp -inside of an hour. What yer say?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's not another car in the place. -They're all at the camp."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, then, you got to do somethink, -and look alive!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't keep the gentleman waiting!" -said Eves, already enjoying himself. The -turn things had taken seemed to carry -prospects of what he called a "splendid rag."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton asked the chauffeur to step out, -and taking his place, started the car, listening -intently.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There! Didn't I tell yer?" said the -owner, trotting alongside. "What's wrong, eh?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton pulled up within a few yards, -and backed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oil," he said, laconically. "Your big -ends are going."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Big ends! What the jooce! Here, you -Thomson, why didn't you give the engine no oil?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Cos there warn't none," said the -chauffeur, sulkily. "I told yer——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"None of yer lip, now! Well, if it's only -oil—Here, mister, oil up, and look sharp -about it! None of yer country dawdling: -get a move on!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton looked over the side of the -car, and said quietly, in his mild considered -way:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I should just like to remark that unless -you can moderate your impatience, or curb -your somewhat insolent expression of it, -you may take yourself and your car elsewhere."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes," cut in Eves, who had come out -into the road. "If I were you, young feller, -I'd jolly well chuck him into the horse-pond."</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 73%" id="figure-125"> -<span id="yes-cut-in-eves-who-had-come-out-into-the-road-if-i-were-you-young-feller-i-d-jolly-well-chuck-him-into-the-horse-pond"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""'YES,' CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO THE ROAD. 'IF I WERE YOU, YOUNG FELLER, I'D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE HORSE-POND.'"" src="images/img-141.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"'YES,' CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO THE ROAD. 'IF I WERE YOU, YOUNG FELLER, I'D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE HORSE-POND.'"</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>The stranger looked from one to the other, -his astonishment at Templeton's address -yielding to wrath.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who are you a-talking to?" he cried, -making an aggressive move towards Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not to you, my dear sir, not to you. I -was merely telling this young feller what I -should do if I were he, and you may thank -your lucky stars I'm not."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The man eyed the speaker truculently, -as if meditating chastisement; but Eves, -in spite of the blue band on his arm, looked -so well knit, so vigorous, that valour subsided -into discretion. Muttering something about -"young pups in khaki," the stranger turned -towards the car, saw that Templeton had -begun lubricating, and strolled across the -yard towards a strange vehicle standing -outside the garage.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here, Thomson, come and look at this," -he called.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For a few minutes the two men walked -round the vehicle, discussing its appearance, -laughing as one pointed out this or that -feature to the other.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It ain't a car," said the chauffeur.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"More like a boat," said his employer. -"This here's a mast, ain't it? P'raps it's -one of them hydroplanes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They're the same as airyplanes without -the wheels. My idea it's an agricultural -implement: now-a-days they've all sorts -of rum contraptions in country parts."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They examined the vehicle, perfunctorily -and without knowledge, until Templeton -called out that the oiling was finished.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite time too," said the stranger, -looking at his watch. "She'll go all right?" he -asked, as he rejoined Templeton in the road.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Naturally I can't give any guarantee," -replied Templeton, "but in all probability -the engine will last out a few hours—until -you have time to give it a thorough overhauling. -If I may make a suggestion, let it cool -down and run slowly, or the big ends will -go altogether."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"H'm! S'pose you know! How much?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh! say half-a-crown."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here y'are. Get in, Thomson." He -shoved the chauffeur into the car. "Straight -up!" he cried.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The car rattled away, still smoking, but -less vigorously than before.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Charming man!" said Eves, as the two -returned to the shop. "Come across many -like him, Bobby?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh! one meets all sorts. But I really -think, Tom, I should be in danger of losing -my temper if everybody who stopped here -for repairs were quite so—so——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Exactly. Well, old sport, do hurry up -with those valves. I had an early breakfast, -and no squish—simply rotten, breakfast -without squish. So hurry up, and we'll -go and swop some coupons."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Templeton placidly resumed his job; -Eves remounted the bench and again took up -the newspaper. After a minute or two he -exclaimed:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, what do you think of this? 'Our -worthy mayor, Alderman Noakes'——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Alderman Noakes. Recalls sweet -memories, eh, old sport? That summer -idyll in our early youth—law! what ages ago -it seems! 'But ah! how it was sweet!' That's -Browning, old man; not my own, I -assure you. I seem to see, down the dim -vista of departed years, the figure of our -Noakes, smothered in half-consumed carbon, -otherwise soot; and again the same Noakes, -sprawling in a purling stream; and yet again -the same Noakes, affectionately embracing -his mother earth—various phases of Noakes -concurrent with the flow of ideas in the -cerebellum of——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, dry up, Tom! You really are an -awful ass sometimes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who are you a-talking to, young feller? -I was just pointing out that the name Noakes, -on the principle of the association of -ideas—but let's see what it says. 'Our worthy -mayor, Alderman Noakes, accompanied by -the bailiff and reeves, will on December 21, -for the four hundred and fifty-second time -in the history of this ancient borough, -perform the quaint ceremony of anointing the -British Stone.' The worthy mayor must be -a hoary old Methuselah if he's performed the -ceremony four hundred and fifty-one times: -he might be the great-grandfather ten times -removed of that old rascal we knew. And if -he's even so distantly related as that, he's -probably a rascal too, and deserves to be -kept waiting."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Waiting? What for?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, for that model of urbanity and fur -collar who wanted you to do somethink to -this 'ere car and look alive, young feller. He -said he was going to call on the mayor, you -remember."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's part of the show, perhaps. I -wonder what that ceremony is. What a -ramshackle old car that was! But all existing -cars will be scrapped when I get my two-way -motor going."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's the latest, is it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes: I've great hopes of it. I've partly -drawn up the specification—I'm going to -take out a patent—but I can't finish it until -I get a nozzle that's being specially -manufactured to my order."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rum thing, Bob, that most of your -thingummy-bobs seldom do get finished: -what? But we've had some splendid rags -out of them all the same."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now that's not fair," cried Templeton, -swinging round, and speaking with a heat -pardonable in an earnest inventor. "My -road yacht is complete; it's out there in the -yard at this very moment."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That thing old Rabbit-skin was poking -his nose into! What's the idea?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, it's not exactly new; it's an -adaptation of the sand yacht. With petrol -scarce, I asked myself, why waste petrol when -the wind can be harnessed for nothing an hour?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly patriotic, and sporting too, old son. -How's it work?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you see, it's a light chassis and a -skeleton body with a mainsail, rigged sloop -fashion, which gives me several miles an hour -in a light wind; it's good for twelve or -fourteen in a fair breeze on a good road on the -flat. What it can do in the kind of wind we -have to-day I don't know."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But hang it all, what if you're becalmed? -And what about hills, and bridges, and all that?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You've spotted my main difficulty—to -obtain the maximum sail area consistent -with the stability of the craft and the limitations -of road navigation. Of course I've got -an auxiliary motor for use in calms and -uphill; but bridges aren't such a nuisance -as the hedges; they constrict the roads -confoundedly. I have to stick to the highway -... I say, old chap, just answer that -telephone call for me, will you? Another -five minutes will see me through."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves walked across to the telephone box -in the corner. The following conversation ensued.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hullo!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Are you Mr. Wilkins?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Am I Wilkins, Bob?" (in a whisper).</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Say you're the British Motor Garage," -said Templeton. "Wilkins is out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Are you there? Righto! We're the -British Motor Garage."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I say, sorry to trouble you, but -Noakes's 'phone is out of order. Tell him -he can cut his tender thirty per cent.: no -other offers."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hold on a jiff." Eves moved from the -mouthpiece and turned towards Templeton. -"Noakes again, Bob. Our worthy mayor. -You're to give him a message, something -about cutting a tender."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Tell him I know nothing about Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto! Leave it to me.... Hullo! -A tender cut, you said?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't you hear? I said, tell Noakes he -can cut his tender by thirty per cent."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right; I've got it now. But who's -Noakes, and what have we to do with him?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Aren't you Mr. Wilkins?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wilkins is out. I'm speaking from his shop."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, hang!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's cut off, Bob," said Eves, ruefully, -hanging up the receiver. "I wanted to ask -him about Methuselah. You've done at last?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, thank goodness!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, clean yourself, and come along. -Hullo! Here's another visitor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A tall, lean, loosely-built man was hurriedly -crossing the yard towards the shop door.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good morning to you," he said, somewhat -breathlessly. "I'm just off the train from -London, and there's never a bit of a car, and -what'll I do at all, when I've to be at the -Upper Edgecombe camp before twelve? I'll -be glad now if so be you can tend me the loan -of a car."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're the second man within ten -minutes or so who has wanted to get to the -camp in a hurry," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do you say that, now? And what -like might the first be, if you please to tell me?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton was considering how to begin -a serious description; but Eves forestalled him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A fur-lined coat, a bristly moustache, -and a voice like a corncrake. That's near -enough for anythink."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is that," said the stranger, his blue -eyes twinkling for an instant. His expression -became grave as he added: "Sure it's mighty -unlucky, without you have a car. They -told me in the town I'd get one here, or -nowhere at all."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sorry I haven't one handy," said -Templeton. "Ours are out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob, what about the road yacht?" -said Eves, who had been attracted by the -civility of the Irishman, and with quick wit -had jumped to the conclusion that he was on -the same errand as the boor. "There's a -spanking wind."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, if he doesn't mind risking it," -said Templeton, dubiously.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Deed now, I'll be after risking anything."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Anythink?" said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'll have his measure taken," said the -Irishman, smiling again. "And if it's a -five-pound note——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't mention it," said Templeton. -"Tom, just lock up, will you? while I get -ready."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He hastened across the yard, opened the -bonnet of the car, and spent a few minutes -with the inner mysteries. By the time he -had satisfied himself that the engine was in -working order the other two had joined him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've only a quart of petrol," he said. -"Wilkins has taken the rest, and our monthly -allowance isn't due till to-morrow. The -camp's about eleven miles, and we've nearly -half an hour; but there's a stiff hill that will -use most of the petrol; it's an old Ford and -can barely do fifteen miles to the gallon."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll run up the hill on my two feet to -lighten the car," said the stranger, eagerly; -"and sure I'd have run the whole way from -the station if I were twenty years younger."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You must have been a stayer in your -time, sir," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Maybe I was that, the time I did a -Marathon, and was not the last either. Only -for being five and forty I wouldn't be troubling -you, for a matter of eleven miles. But it's -a sail I see you have. There's a nice breeze -from the west, surely, and if the car doesn't -upset on us I'm thinking we'd do without -petrol only for the hill."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Faith removes mountains," said Eves. -"You've a pretty good share of it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Faith, and I have then. And if so be -the car upsets on us, sure we'll have a bit of -fun, and maybe that'll make up for the -disappointment."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves chatted with the genial Irishman -during the few minutes in which Templeton -was making his final preparations. These -completed, Templeton ran the machine out -into the roadway. It was a strange-looking -object. The body was little more than a -skeleton framework, affording seating -accommodation for three, and the necessary -protection for the working parts. The drive -was on the front wheels; the steering gear -connected with the back wheels. A strong -single mast was stayed just behind the -driver's seat. A bowsprit projected some -five feet beyond the radiator. There were -two sails, mainsail and jib. As Templeton -unfurled these, Eves noticed that the former -had been recently patched.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Torn in a gale, Bob?" he asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No. The other day a wretched farm -wagon claimed more than its fair share of the -road, and as of course I wouldn't give way -there was what some people call a contretemps. -Look here, Tom, you must manage -the mainsail; I can deal with the jib. Get -in: we've no time to spare."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton got into the driver's seat, the -other two men into the seats behind. The -car was started on petrol, and ran at a -moderate pace over the half-mile of narrow -road that led to the main street of the little -town. Dodging the market traffic, Templeton -steered the car out at the further end, and -as soon as he was clear of the town slowed -down and gave the word to hoist the sails. -These bellied out in the brisk following wind; -the strange vehicle gathered way; and, -looking over his shoulder with a smile of -gratification, Templeton said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now we're off. Look out for gybing at -the corners, Tom."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Templeton's road yacht had been for a -week or two a fairly familiar object in the -neighbourhood, and the few country folk on -foot whom it met or passed in the first few -minutes of its voyage graced it with no more -attention than was evinced by a stolid stare, -a shake of the head, and a sort of prolonged -sigh. A spectator of quicker mind—and he -would need to have been quick, for the pace -was already great—might have taken a -fugitive interest in noting the facial -expressions of the vehicle's three occupants. -Templeton looked earnest and responsible: Eves -wore only the shadow of his usual smile, for -he was oppressed by an anxious doubt whether -his former experiences of yachting would -serve him in handling the sail of this novel -craft. The wind was not only strong but -gusty, and at slight turns in the road the -boom showed a tendency to swing out of his -control and commit assault and battery on -the person of his passenger. That -gentleman, however, was evidently on the top of -enjoyment. Whatever his errand was, it -was driven from his mind by sheer exhilaration. -He lived wholly in the present. Peering -over Templeton's shoulder at the speedometer, -he reported with boyish excitement -the movements of the indicator—twenty, -twenty-five, thirty: "Believe you me, it's -thirty miles; the like of that, now!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Approaching a sharp bend in the road, -Templeton gradually throttled down until -the speed was reduced to fifteen; and when, -as the yacht rounded the bend, the change of -course caused the boom to swing over and -knock the Irishman's hat off, the genial -stranger shouted with glee and declared -that he was having the time of his life, begor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves hauled in the mainsheet; the pace -again rose to twenty-five; and a marked -down-grade enabled Templeton to maintain -that speed for a time with the engine switched -off. At the end of the dip, where the road -bent again, Templeton was faced by the first -up-grade—a long straight stretch almost in -the teeth of the wind. Some little distance -from the foot of the incline he switched on -his engine, and took the ascent for the most -part on top, dropping to first about two -hundred yards from the summit. At this -point the passenger, looking back along the -road, exclaimed:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's a car in the wake of us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Overhauling us?" asked Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"She's not, then. How would the likes of her?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"She will, though. We shall have to slow -down. Look ahead."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A heavy farm wagon drawn by three horses -had appeared over the crest of the hill, and -was lumbering down with skidpans adjusted, -and occupying three-fourths of the roadway.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's the way we'd see a collision," said -the Irishman, chortling. The prospect had -evidently no terrors for him. Eves, on the -other hand, for all his delight in a rag, felt -by no means easy in mind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Slow down, Bob," he cried, anxiously, -at the same time hauling in the sheet until -the sail stood almost parallel with the side -of the vehicle.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton made no reply; but knowing -from experience that the road yacht was a -likely source of anxiety to horses he slowed -down, at the imminent risk of stopping -entirely, and steered well into the hedge. The -carter hurried to the leader's head and pulled -in to his side of the road, giving only a gaping -stare as the yacht grazed the off wheels of his -wagon and the hedge on the other side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As good a bit of steering as ever I saw," -cried the Irishman. "Did you get a whiff -of the mangolds?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I was expecting to be mangled," said -Eves, grimly. "I say, Bob, the wind's dead -ahead, and the sail's no bally good."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Lower it, man, lower it," said Templeton. -"We'll be all right at the next turn."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The yacht was crawling painfully to the -top of the hill when there came from behind -the sound of a hooter. Eves and the Irishman -looked back. A large car had just -rounded the bend below, and was mounting -the hill with a great roaring and rattling, -distinctly audible above the noise of their -own straining engine.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By George, Bob," cried Eves, "that -green car that called at the garage is upon -our heels."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I hear it," said Templeton. "Couldn't -mistake it: I'll give it room to pass."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Before the yacht had gamed the top of the -hill the following car, hooting continuously, -closed with it and dashed past.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob," shouted Eves, "did you see -who was in it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No. Didn't look. Who is it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rabbit-skin and Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our Noakes?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Philemon, as sure as a gun."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our worthy mayor, evidently. Rummy!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What was that you said?" asked Eves, -turning to the Irishman, who had uttered a -sharp exclamation as the car ran by.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It was what I don't care to repeat. The -fellow you do be calling Rabbit-skin has the -rise got on me, and indeed I'm sorry I put -you to the trouble and all."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Noakes, you mean?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I do not. Noakes is unbeknown to me. -But by the look of it that car will get to the -camp by twelve o'clock, and we will not, -and then Saunders, him with the fur collar, -will be the way of slipping in his tender and -I'll be left on the doorstep."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A light flashed on Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're tendering for the camp waste?" -he asked, quickly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I was. It was told me Saunders——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right," Eves interrupted. Leaning -over Templeton's shoulder he said: "I say, -Bob, it's up to you, old man. You remember -that telephone call. Noakes and Rabbit-skin -are in co. Tendering for the camp waste, -you know. He mustn't get in first with a -higher tender. Can you hustle a bit?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I daren't accelerate till we get to the top: -daren't waste petrol. But then——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The yacht panted slowly up the last few -yards of the hill. When it reached the top, -the green car, enveloped in a cloud of smoke, -was already some three hundred yards ahead, -racing along a straight level stretch of road. -It was clear that Saunders had recognised -a business rival in the Irishman, and was -urging his car to its utmost speed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At the summit a bend in the road had once -more brought the wind on the beam. Eves -instantly hoisted the sail, and the yacht in -a few moments gathered way. The road -here ran through an open down; there were -no hedges to blanket the yacht; and on -the high ground the wind blew with the force -of half a gale. Giving signs of the liveliest -excitement, the Irishman, his hair flying in -the wind, bent over the back of Templeton's -seat, and every few seconds shouted the -indications of the speedometer, his voice -growing louder as the figures mounted up. -"Ten—fourteen—eighteen—twenty"—he -followed the pointer round the dial, and when -it quivered on 33 he swung his arm round, -uttering a wild "Hurroosh!" and was not -a whit abashed when Templeton half turned -a rebuking face towards him and warned -him of the risk of plunging overboard.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was, in truth, much reason for the -man's ebullient spirits. The engine was -switched off: there was little or no vibration; -the yacht, as he afterwards declared, seemed -to float along the road. Even when she -had a decided list to starboard, the near -wheels leaving the ground, he laughed as he -threw his long body to windward, hanging -perilously over the roadway, while Eves -with mouth grim-set kept the bounding craft -on a broad reach. It was soon apparent -that she was more than holding her own with -the long car ahead. The cloud of smoke -came nearer and nearer, floating across the -road to leeward like the trail from the funnel -of a tramp steamer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The green car was running an erratic -course more or less in the middle of the road. -Within thirty or forty yards of her Templeton -insistently sounded his horn and drew over -to the right, preparing to pass. Next -moment he jammed on his brake hard, with -an exclamation seldom heard on his phlegmatic -lips. So far from steering to his own -side of the road, the driver of the car had also -pulled across to the right, with the evident -intention of blocking the passage. But for -Templeton's promptitude the bowsprit must -inevitably have run into the hood of the car. -The jerk threw the Irishman heavily forward -over the back of the seat, and when he -recovered himself he broke into violent -objurgation, which had no more effect on the -occupants of the car than the strident blasts -of Templeton's horn. They did not even -look round. A turf-cutter on the moor -scratched his head and gazed open-mouthed -at the novel spectacle, and on the other side -two affrighted ponies galloped with tossing -manes and tails through and over the whins -and gorse.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For the moment Templeton was baffled. -Then Eves, leaning forward, shouted, to be -heard above the roaring of the car:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Pass her on the near side, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton nodded, reserving for the future -his criticism that, in the circumstances, Eves -might more properly have used a nautical -term. He checked the pace still further -until nearly fifty yards separated him from -the obstructive car. Then, with his horn -at full blast, he released the brake, and the -yacht shot forward. As he had expected, -the car clung still more closely to the off side, -leaving only the narrowest margin between -the wheels and the rough edge of the turf. -Suddenly, with a turn of the wheel that caused -the yacht to lurch giddily, he switched on -the engine and ran deftly into the open space -on the near side. A yell of delight broke -from the Irishman.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sit down and be quiet," shouted Eves, -"or we'll capsize yet."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes had risen in the car, and was -bawling in the ear of the chauffeur. The -yacht had drawn level with the car's wind -screen before Templeton's manoeuvre was -appreciated. Now, attempting to counter -it, the chauffeur, under Noakes's vehement -prompting, edged towards the left with the -object of forcing the lighter-built yacht into -the ditch which on this side parted the -roadway from the moor. Perceiving the danger, -Eves, with the capacity for rising to the -occasion which had distinguished him in -former enterprises with his friend, instantly -eased the mainsheet: the boom swung out, -and came into sharp contact, first with -Noakes's head, then with the wind screen, -which it shivered to fragments. The -chauffeur, who had glanced round, ducked -his head and in his flurry gave way for a -moment. That moment was long enough. -Eves hauled in the sheet, and the yacht, -under the dual impulse of engine and wind, -shot forward and in a few seconds was clear.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 74%" id="figure-126"> -<span id="the-boom-swung-out-and-came-into-sharp-contact-first-with-noakes-s-head-then-with-the-wind-screen"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP CONTACT, FIRST WITH NOAKES'S HEAD, THEN WITH THE WIND SCREEN."" src="images/img-161.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP CONTACT, FIRST WITH NOAKES'S HEAD, THEN WITH THE WIND SCREEN."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hurroosh!" yelled the Irishman, -standing with difficulty erect in the swaying -vehicle and looking back along the road. -"Noakes, if that's the name of him, is after -shaking his fist on us. I wouldn't say but -he's cursing mighty fine, but sure I can't -hear him for the noise of the creature. -Saunders and the driver-man might be having -a shindy by the looks of it. His head might -be sore on him, and he'll not deserve it,—the -man, I mean: I wouldn't be wasting a word -of pity on Saunders if so be it was him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Meanwhile, Templeton, knowing that his -petrol would barely last out, had slowed down.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Tell me if they draw up with us," he -called over his shoulder.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I will, begor," said the Irishman. "She's -after doing that same now, and smoking like -a tug on the Liffey."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's driving her hard," added Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all right," said Templeton. "It's -my turn now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A bend in the road brought the wind only -a few points on the port bow, and Templeton, -sparing his petrol, allowed the yacht to lose -way. The green car, hooting angrily, and -leaving a huge trail of smoke, rattled on at a -great pace, and moment by moment lessened -the distance between it and the yacht. But -Eves and Templeton between them, by their -dexterous handling of steering wheel and sail, -succeeded where the others had failed. The -road was effectively blocked; short of running -the yacht down, with the risk of heavy -casualties on both sides, as Eves remarked, -Noakes and his friend had no means of -preventing their Irish competitor from -maintaining his lead and coming first to the -winning post.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For a full mile the yacht zigzagged from -one side of the road to the other. Eves -handled the sheet very smartly, but soon -found it hopeless to attempt to cope at once -with the gustiness of the wind and the sudden -swerves of the yacht, and finally contented -himself with letting the boom swing freely -within a narrow circle, fearing every moment -that a lurch would capsize them all. Another -turn in the road again gave them the wind; -the yacht darted forward on a straight -course, and the Irishman reported in high -glee that the green car, grunting like Patsy -O'Halloran's pig and snorting like Mike -Grady's bull, was dropping behind as fast as -she could run.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's the time?" Templeton called -suddenly over his shoulder.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Nine minutes to the hour," replied the -Irishman, consulting his watch. "Will we do it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Now that the exciting part of the race -was apparently over, he had become alive -to business. Twelve o'clock was the hour -named for the lodging of tenders with the -camp commandant; "and with the likes of -the Army," he said, "you might be done if -so be you was half a wink late. It's not that -I've a word to say in favour of any matter of -punctuality in the Army; but they're the way -of making a mighty fuss over trifles. It was -told me the name they put to it is red tape."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We'll do it," said Templeton, "provided, -first, the petrol lasts out the hill ahead; -second, there aren't any lorries in the way. -But in any case we must run it fine, you -know. You don't want Noakes or Saunders -to get in at all, I take it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sorra a bit."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Would they tender higher than you?" asked Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They might."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What a pity we didn't give Noakes that -message, Bob. Some one at the camp wanted -to give him the tip to cut his tender; there -was no other to hand."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The like of that, now, and me having the -name of an honest man! Will I have time -enough to write a word or two with the -stump of a pencil? I have my tender in my -pocket folded."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Better let it alone; we'll keep Noakes off. -He's still rattling along, Bob; do we get the -wind up the hill?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid not. The road takes an -awkward turn; just ahead there, you see. -We'll have to rely on the petrol, and trust to luck."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The yacht rounded the turn, and the hill -came in view—a short sharp spur about a -quarter-mile in length. In a trice they -dowsed the sails. Templeton switched on -the engine, intending to rush the incline. -Looking behind somewhat anxiously now, the -Irishman declared that the green car was -barging on like a mad steam engine. Roaring -like a furnace, it seemed to leap over the -ground, overhauling the yacht yard by yard -until it was three-parts up the hill. Then the -clamour suddenly ceased.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Begor, she's stopped," cried the Irishman, -exultantly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Big ends dropped off," said Templeton, -grinning at Eves over his shoulder. "I gave -him fair warning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The yacht topped the crest. On the moor -to the left a vast assemblage of huts and -tents broke upon the view. By the roadside -was parked a row of motor lorries. Here -and there men were moving about. They -stared and shouted to one another at the -sight of the strange vehicle sailing towards -them, or rather running now merrily on -the last gill of petrol. Templeton narrowly -escaped colliding with the nearest lorry, -then slowed down and enquired the way to -the commandant's office.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You go in between them huts till you -come to a swanky hut with a flag flying -atop," replied the private addressed. "A -rum turn-out, this here."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Driving on to the moor, Templeton was -checked by the sentry, to whom, however, -the Irishman explained that he was Patrick -O'Reilly, come to tender for the camp waste.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Pass: you'd better tender for the lot of -us: we're all waste here," said the sentry. -"Perhaps if you offered to buy us up they'd demob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't like that," said Templeton, -gravely, as he drove on. "It's subversive of -discipline."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't worry," said Eves with a smile. -"He saluted all right. It's two minutes -to twelve: we did jolly well, old man."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton drew up at the commandant's -hut. O'Reilly sprang out, and after a brief -colloquy with the sentry, who looked -doubtfully at his bare head and touzled hair, was -allowed to enter. In five minutes he returned, -in animated converse with the colonel. That -officer, acknowledging the punctilious salutes -of Eves and Templeton, smiled at the smutty -face of the latter, and remarked:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This is a queer contrivance of yours, my -man. I thought Mr. O'Reilly was a lunatic -when he told me he'd arrived in a yacht, -without being sick, and himself a bad -sailor——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am that," put in O'Reilly, parenthetically. -"I wouldn't like to say how much -the Irish Sea is owing me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I see he's not so mad as I supposed," -the colonel went on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sure you'd be the better of a voyage in -her yourself," said O'Reilly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank you. I think I prefer the real -article. Not many of these machines in the -market, are there?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"None, sir," replied Eves, promptly. "It's -the first, a brand-new invention of my -friend Templeton here, second lieutenant in -the Blankshire Rifles. He's a repatriated -prisoner of war, employing his leave in -working out ideas that germinated in captivity. -That accounts for his being improperly dressed."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Indeed! Is this the Mr. Templeton who -narrowly escaped gassing my old friend -Colonel Beavis?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A pure accident, sir, due to the colonel's -adventurous spirit and a loose screw. Templeton -was very much cut up about it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Dry up!" growled Templeton in a -fierce undertone.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I congratulate Mr. O'Reilly," said -the colonel, his eyes twinkling. "I gather -that but for Mr. Templeton's road yacht he -wouldn't have got here till after twelve, and -he seemed a little hurt when I told him that -a few minutes are neither here nor there. -One must give a time limit, of course; but -I shouldn't have turned down a good offer -that happened to arrive a few minutes late. -But what's this?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A crowd of privates, shouting vociferously, -was approaching from the direction of the -road. A few words were distinguishable in -the babel. "This way, governor." "Two -to one on the long un." And as the throng -turned into the lane between the huts, among -the khaki figures appeared Philemon Noakes -and his fur-coated companion, trotting along -in feverish haste. The soldiers fell back as -they neared the commandant's hut, and the -two civilians advanced alone.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Are you the colonel?" asked Noakes, panting.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am. You want to see me?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm the Mayor of Pudlington. This is -my friend Ebenezer Saunders, who's come -for to tender for the camp waste."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As per advertisement," added Saunders.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was something aggressive in each -man's manner of speech. The colonel looked -at his wrist watch.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The time mentioned was twelve o'clock, -gentlemen. It is now eight minutes past. -You are eight minutes too late."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You won't draw the line so tight," said -Noakes. "A few minutes are neither here -nor there in a matter of this sort, and as the -Mayor of Pudlington——</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Excuse me, Mr. Mayor——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But it's all along o' this infernal machine," -cried Noakes, angrily, throwing out his hand -towards the road yacht. "It was on the -wrong side o' the road, and we couldn't pass -it no-how; obstructing of the king's highway: -that's what it was; and as the Mayor of -Pudlington I'll have the law of them, that I will."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, come, Mr. Noakes," said Eves, -pleasantly. "You tried that once before, -you know. You remember my friend -Templeton, even if you've forgotten me. -As a matter of fact, sir," he added, turning -to the colonel, "they overdrove their car, -and the big ends dropped off; otherwise—well, -I shouldn't have been surprised if -there'd been a bit of a scrap somewhere about -the top of the hill."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There would," said O'Reilly, decisively. -"And what's more, it was the car that -blocked the road, and a mighty fine trouble -we had, the way we'd circumvent the creature."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's a scandal," cried Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A regular low-down swindle," shouted -the owner of the fur coat.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That'll do, sir," said the colonel, sharply. -"You'll be good enough to leave the -camp—you and the Mayor of Pudlington."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes threw at Eves a venomous glance—a -glance in which was concentrated -inextinguishable resentment for the unmasking -he had suffered two years before. He made -his way with Saunders back to the road and -disappeared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's more in this than meets the -eye," said the colonel, smiling. "Will you -gentlemen come into my hut and tell me -something more of the Mayor of Pudlington?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"With pleasure, sir," replied Eves. -"Come along, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, I must be getting back," said -Templeton. "There's the garage, you know. -Besides——" He looked over his dirty -overalls and grimy hands.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you'll have to get some petrol; -while you're doing that I'll relate what I -know of the life history of Noakes. A -splendid rag, old man," he added, as he -turned to follow the colonel.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-cold-water-cure"><span class="bold large">THE COLD WATER CURE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"We'll get some lunch at my digs," said -Templeton, as he started with Eves on the -return journey. "I'll have time to show you -one or two ideas of mine before I am due -back at the garage."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, I say, Bob, I'd made up my mind to -stand you a topping lunch at some hotel or -other. Lunch at digs!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves's look was eloquent. Templeton -smiled gently.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's only one hotel, or rather inn," -he said, "and there you can only get -Government beer. It has only domestic rations. -Besides, you don't know my landlady—she's -a gem! She expects me, you know, and -she'll have enough for two."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'A heart resigned, submissive, meek,'" -Eves quoted. "Well, old sport, I'll try to -bear up, and as I've a tremendous appetite -after hospital slops, you know—just buck in, -will you?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The road being mainly down-hill, and the -petrol tank now full, Templeton had resolved -to run back on engine power alone, and had -furled the sails. Just below the crest of the -hill they passed the green car, about which -Noakes and his two companions were apparently -engaged in a heated altercation. Noakes -scowled fiercely as the road yacht dashed on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rummy we should come across that old -humbug!" said Eves. "Still rummier that -he should be Mayor of Pudlington. I thought -the mayoralty was the reward for long years -of civic virtue. Old Noakes can't have been -here more than a couple of years. How is -it you didn't know he was mayor?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear man, I'm not interested in -municipal affairs. Besides, I've only been -here a few weeks, and with only two months' -leave——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just so. Like the busy bee, you must -improve each shining hour. That bee must -have been a frightful prig."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come, now——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No offence, old bean! Of course he -gathered loads of honey, and all that: a jolly -useful life—adventurous, too—saw a lot of -the world, don't you know: always on the -move. That part would suit me to a T. -We're both like the bee, you see: you in your -industry, and what you may call stickiness; -me in my roving propensity, my incurable -levity, my passion for honeydew—in the -form of cigarettes. I say, Bob, I think I'll -write for the magazines. I don't see why -my ideas shouldn't be worth something, as -well as yours."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What ideas?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's an unkind cut, after I've been -spouting ideas galore. I'm afraid the -mechanical mind will always be blind to the -beauties of literature. 'A primrose by the -river's brim'—Steady, old sport, you nearly -capsized us!" Templeton had swung round -suddenly into a by-lane. "I was quoting -a sublime passage from one William Wordsworth."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, never mind him," said Templeton, -drawing up in front of a solitary cottage. -"Here we are! Go straight up the stairs—you'll -find a clean towel. I'll tell Mrs. Pouncey -you're here, and follow you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When the two friends entered the little -sitting-room a few minutes later the landlady, -a short, very stout, pleasant-faced woman of -sixty or thereabouts, had just placed two -steaming plates of soup on the table.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My friend Mr. Eves, Mrs. Pouncey," said -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How d'ye do, Mrs. Pouncey?" said Eves, -shaking hands. "Mr. Templeton has been -telling me you're the best cook in the three -kingdoms. You know you did, Bob; don't -protest. He's very hard to please, Mrs. Pouncey, -very; and if he's satisfied, you may -be sure that a man of my humbler tastes -will be absolutely bowled over."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, now, I declare I wouldn't have -thought it. Mr. Templeton have never said -a single grumble, not one. He's the best -young man lodger as I've ever had, that I -will say—no trouble at all!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, Mrs. Pouncey! how many young men -lodgers have you said the same thing about? -Your last lodger, for instance, now, confess!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Deed no, sir. You be very far out. -My last lodger was—there, I couldn't abide -en, he was that cantankerous, and such -language—I never did! I know a real -gentleman when I see en, and he was nothing -but a make-believe, for all his fur coat. -Thankful I am he was only here a few days, -and that to oblige the mayor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Noakes?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, sure, that be the mayor's name, and -well I know it. But do 'ee take your soup, -now, 'twill be cold, and cold soup lays heavy, -not to speak o' the nastiness, and the pork -chops grilled to a cinder."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The good woman had toddled away while -speaking, and her last words came faintly -through the open door.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good soup, Bob," said Eves. "And -pork chops! Splendid! The old dame is -a treasure. I'll get her to tell us about our -worthy mayor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Pouncey returned with two well-grilled -pork chops and a dish of sprouts and -baked potatoes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Absolutely topping, Mrs. Pouncey!" -said Eves. "What on earth did your last -lodger find to grumble at, if you treated him -like this?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Lor' bless 'ee, sir, he'd grumble at -everything, pertickler at the bill. He'd want -a penny took off here, and a penny there: -and he would measure out his tea hisself, and -cut his own rashers. I never did see the like."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And a friend of the mayor, too!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, and more'n a friend, so it do seem. -'Tis said here and there 'twas a -gentleman—gentleman, says I, but that's the talk!—a -gentleman from London as have Mr. Noakes -in his pocket, so to speak it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay. No wonder you be mazed, the -mayor being such a terrible great man and -all. Some folks do rise quick in the world, -to be sure. 'Tis only a matter of two year -since he came here, from no one knowed -where, and 'a took up a big contrack with -the camp for building huts, and running a -canteen, I think they do call it, and I don't -know what all. Ay sure, he've his fingers in -many a pie, but I warrant they'll get burnt, -they will!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But how did a stranger become mayor so quickly?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, being such a great man, they put -him on the Council, and t'other councillors -being little small men, he got over 'em, that's -what I say. Bless 'ee, he'd have got 'em to -make him king, if so be there was kings out -of London. Ah, he've a power of money! -He bought this cottage that I've paid rent for -regular this twenty year, and he telled me -he'd raise the rent as soon as Parlyment will -let him, if not before. And he made me take -this Saunders man for twenty shillings a -week, when I've never had less than twenty-five, -never!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Apple dumplings called Mrs. Pouncey from -the room. When she returned with them, -and Eves wanted to know how the apples got -inside the crust, the dame gave a lengthy -explanation which lasted till the conclusion -of the meal.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We've a few minutes," said Templeton -then. "Come and see my road-sweeper."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He led Eves to an old shed at the rear of -the premises. On entering, Eves's eye was -caught by a large formless mass of a substance -somewhat resembling putty.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hullo!" he cried. "Been playing with plasticine?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's another little idea of mine," -replied Templeton. "A new fire extinguisher."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You had better form a company, old -sport. 'Bright Ideas, Unlimited.' How's -it work?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's very simple. You let a shallow tank, -about a quarter-inch deep, into the ceiling of -a room. The bottom, flush with the plaster, -is pierced with holes like a sieve, the holes are -plugged with my composition, and you run -water into the tank. If a fire occurs the heat -melts the composition——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I see! Splendid! Down comes the rain -and puts out the fire! But will the shower -last long enough?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Really, I'm surprised at you, Tom! -The fall from a tank like that will be equivalent -to an average week's rainfall. But the -point of the idea is the composition. I've -tried other preparations without success, but -this stuff of mine sets hard and yet melts -easily. By varying the proportions of the -ingredients you can get it to melt at different -temperatures, but I haven't quite finished -my experiments in that direction. The -difficulty is to gauge the exact temperature -required, but I'll manage it before long."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It hasn't been tried yet in a building, then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not exactly; but a decent local builder -was rather taken with it when I showed it -to him, and he's giving it a trial at the new -Literary Institute he's putting up. The -building was stopped by the war, but he has -already started work again, and he's willing -to test the idea before the plasterers finish. -He has rigged up a sort of tray on the laths -in the roof of the big room, and one of these -days is going to put a brazier underneath. -You see, if the stuff melts too easily, it will -only mean a slop on the floor, and won't do -any damage."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I see. What are you going to call the stuff?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Time enough for that when I've perfected -the invention and sent in for my -patent. Here's my road-sweeper."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He pointed to a somewhat rusty vehicle -standing against one of the walls.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm only waiting for a supply of petrol -to try it," he added. "The old engine uses -up a frightful lot. But our allowance is due -in to-morrow. I say, can you stay a day or -two? Mrs. Pouncey can put you up."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rather! I've got ten days' leave."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's all right, then. Now we had -better get back to the garage. Wilkins will -be in a bait if it's not open sharp at two."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>As Templeton drew up in front of the -garage, a bill-sticker was posting a bill on one -of the side posts of the gate. The heading, -hi large type, caught Eves's eye, and when -he got down to open the gate, he stayed to -read the announcement while Templeton -drove through.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, Bob, there'll be a splendid rag -to-morrow," he said on rejoining his friend. -"There's a meeting of parliamentary electors -at the new Literary Institute—a final kick -before the election on Saturday. Old Noakes -is in the chair: he's a pacifist, you remember, -and the bill gives short notice that the meeting -will be addressed by——" (He mentioned -the name of a notorious agitator.) "We'll -go. Ask a few questions, perhaps."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Soldiers in uniform are forbidden to——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rats! That's all gone by the board. -The soldier's a citizen now-a-days.... I -say, is this Wilkins?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My employer," replied Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A thick-set man wearing a long coat and a -motor cap was coming up the path.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, any business a-doing?" he asked -of Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There have been two callers: one was a -man who'd over-driven his machine and run -short of oil. He was in a tearing hurry, and -distinctly offensive. I did what I could for -him, and warned him he'd lose his big ends if -he wasn't careful. Here's the half-crown he -paid me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Half-a-crown! No more than that?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, he paid what I asked."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rot it all! You didn't ask enough. A -feller in a hurry, and likewise rude, ought to -be made to pay. Look 'ee here, Mr. Templeton, -you're a young feller, and have got a -thing or two to learn: you'd best get a notion -of charging if you're to be of any use to me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What about that, then?" asked Templeton, -handing him a couple of pound notes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, now, that's better, to be sure! How -did 'ee get 'em?" asked Wilkins, pocketing -the notes with a pleased smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"An Irishman wanted to get to the camp -in a hurry. He happened to be polite, so -I drove him up in my road yacht. As a -matter of fact, we passed the other fellow in -his car: he had picked up your mayor, and I -gathered he was a business rival of the -Irishman. I wasn't sorry we beat him; his big -ends dropped off, as I warned him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves noticed that Wilkins's face grew more -and more glum as Templeton was speaking, -and remembered the telephone call he had -answered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The Irishman was so pleased that he -offered me five pounds," Templeton went on, -"but I thought two pounds was a fair charge."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then dang me if you ain't done me out -of three pounds!" cried the man, irritably. -"Did any one ever hear the likes of refusing -good money when 'twas offered free? Done -me out of three pounds—</span><em class="italics">three</em><span> pounds, look -'ee, as ought to have been in my pocket! -Done me out of it, you have!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves felt that this outburst was not wholly -due to Templeton's moderation in charging.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Mr. Wilkins," said Templeton, -quietly, "I'm sorry you're not satisfied. -Perhaps we had better part."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't say that," said Wilkins, calming -himself with an effort. "You're a gentleman, -that's where 'tis, and not bred up to -understand business. I'll say no more—let -it bide—but another time don't 'ee go and -refuse good money; that's business. Well, -I'm off up along to the town; know where I -can get some petrol on the quiet; that's -business too. I'll be back afore long."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You keep queer company, old man!" -said Eves, when Wilkins was out of ear-shot.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's trying at times, I confess—a rough -diamond," said Templeton. "But I think -he's sound."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I wonder! Somebody wanted him to -give Noakes a tip, you remember. He must -be very well in with Noakes, and that's -suspicious in itself. His face was as long as -a fiddle when you told him O'Reilly got in -ahead of Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I'll give him the benefit of the -doubt. Now, I've got to make a new crank -pin for a motor cycle that was brought in for -repair this morning. It'll take me some -time, and I don't want to keep you hanging -about. Why not go into the town and have -a look round?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto. What time do you knock off?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Five."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll call for you, then. So long!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At half-past four, when Eves returned, the -workshop was lighted by the two oil lamps -which were its only illumination. Templeton -had just finished his work, and was washing -his hands at the sink.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've spent a profitable afternoon," said -Eves, returning to his seat on the bench. -"Don't think much of Pudlington, but an -enquiring mind like mine can pick up pearls -anywhere. I was strolling along when I came -to an uncommonly ugly unfinished building, -with 'Literary Institute' carved over the -door. Some fellows were unloading chairs -from a cart, and carrying them in. I went in -too, and found your respectable friend the -local builder there, superintending the fitting -of some gas-burners. 'Getting ready for -the meeting to-morrow?' I said to him. -'Ay, sure, sir,' said he. 'Town Hall's -occypied by Food Controller and Fuel -Controller, and I don't know what all, so the -meeting's to be held here, though unfinished.' 'Rather -a cold place,' I said. 'Bless 'ee, -we'll hot 'em up to-morrow,' said he. 'The -walls will sweat like you never see. We've -got a proper fine furnace down underneath, -and the only pity is I haven't got the ceiling -plastered; 'twould have dried a bit.' Whereupon -I mentioned your proposed experiment -with your fire extinguisher, and the old boy -became cordial at once when I told him you -were a friend of mine. You've evidently -impressed him, Bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton grunted.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's quite true. To be a friend of yours -lifts one a good many notches. 'That young -gemman do have a terrible powerful piece -of intelleck inside of his brain-pan,' says your -builder. 'Ay, and what's more, he's a rare -earnest soul, always inventing things for the -good of his day and generation. He's a -credit to the nation, that he be!' Of course -I congratulated him and Pudlington on the -temporary possession of so bright an -ornament, and we had quite a friendly talk. He -seemed rather doubtful whether it's legal to -hold a public meeting in a building before it -has been passed by the surveyor, but Noakes -is above the law, or thinks he is. We'll go -to-morrow, Bob: it'll be a good rag."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm not sure that I want to go to the -meeting," said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, you must! I want to see Noakes's -face when he spies us in the audience. By the -way, I think he must be rather thick with -your Wilkins. Not many minutes after I'd -left the Institute I met the green car being -towed along by two great farm horses. -Noakes and Saunders were walking alongside. -Noakes gave me his usual scowl as he passed, -which I countered with my usual grin. -Presently I walked round to the market-place, -and there was Noakes again, in close confab -with Wilkins. When they saw me they both -began to talk at once, and it seemed to me -that each was telling the other that he had -the honour of my acquaintance. At any -rate they both looked rather surprised and a -good deal more than interested, and their -heads were very close together when I saw -them last."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sick of Noakes," said Templeton, -somewhat irritably.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's the matter? Has he been here?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, but half an hour after you left, -Wilkins came back with a can of petrol, and -offered it to me for my experiments in a way -that was positively fawning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"To make amends for his roughness before."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't like that sort of thing. It's too -much Noakes's way, and what you say throws -light on it. If he and Noakes are pals—well, -when I wangle, even if it's petrol, I like to do -it in decent company. I disliked Wilkins's -manner so much that I declined the petrol: -told him I'd wait for the regular supply. The -odd thing is that Noakes has not been here -at the shop in my time."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rather lucky for you, for if he'd found -you here, he would have told Wilkins you're -a dangerous character, and got you fired out. -He may do that yet."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, let's get along home. Mrs. Pouncey -will have high tea ready, and I'm ravenous."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After their meal, which was tea and supper -combined, they smoked for an hour in the -sitting-room. Then Templeton jumped up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Botheration!" he exclaimed. "I was -going to work on my turbine specification, -but I've left it in a drawer at the shop. I -shall have to pull on my boots again and -fetch it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't it wait? It's a horrid night."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I really can't waste a whole evening. -My time's getting short, and I've lots still to do."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I'll come along with you. After -supper walk a mile, you know. It's about a -mile there and back, I suppose."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The night was damp and murky. The -country lane was unlit, and they found their -way by intermittent flashes of Templeton's -electric torch. There was no dwelling -between Mrs. Pouncey's cottage and the garage, -and at this hour, half-past eight on a winter -night, they were not likely to meet either -pedestrians or vehicles. So much the greater, -therefore, was Templeton's surprise, when, on -approaching the spot where the garage and -workshop stood, he saw a dim light through -the window of the latter.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wilkins went off at half-past three, and said -he wouldn't be back to-night," said Templeton. -"I suppose he changed his mind."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>To reach the door they had to pass the -window. It was only natural that Eves, -who was on the inside, should glance in. -Catching Templeton by the arm, he drew -him back out of the rays of the lamp-light, -whispering:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's some one stooping at a drawer, -trying a key, apparently. Couldn't see his -face, the light's too dim."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's Wilkins, I expect. No one else has -any right here," replied Templeton. "I'll -take a look."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Peeping round the frame of the window, -through the dirty pane, he was able to -distinguish nothing but a man's form at the -further end of the shop. The lamp, hanging -from the middle of the roof, was turned very -low, and the bent attitude of the man, with -his back three-parts towards the window, -rendered it impossible to discern his features. -He was covered with a long waterproof, and -a storm cap was pulled low over his head. -From his movements it was clear that he was -trying one key after another.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's not Wilkins," whispered Templeton. -"I never saw him dressed like that."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then it's a burglar," replied Eves. "Nab him!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They moved on tip-toe to the door. -Templeton grasped the handle, murmuring:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll turn it suddenly—then make a dash!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was absolute quiet all around, and -the sound of jingling keys came faintly -through the door. After a few moments' -pause Templeton turned the handle -noiselessly, and pushed the door open. The damp -weather had, however, swollen the timber, -and the slight sound it made as it strained -against the door-post attracted the attention -of the man beyond. Still stooping over the -drawer, he turned his head sharply.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My hat! Noakes!" muttered Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Springing into the shop past Templeton, -who had halted on recognising Noakes, as if -to consider matters, Eves dashed at the -waterproofed figure. The moment's warning -had enabled Noakes to prepare for attack. -He projected a bony shoulder, prevented -Eves from getting the clutch he intended, and -made a rush towards the door.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Collar him, Bob!" cried Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>During the next minute there was a -rough-and-tumble in which Noakes's legs played as -free a part as was possible to a man encased -in a long waterproof. He displayed astounding -agility in evading close action, and it was -not until Eves caught him by the heel as he -kicked out that he was brought to the ground. -"I'll sit on him," said Eves. "Ring up -the police station, Bob, and ask them to send -a constable to arrest a burglar."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But are you sure—" Templeton began.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't argue," said Eves. "He's a desperate -character; I can hardly hold him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton went to the telephone, lifted -the receiver, then turned again towards Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't you think, as it's Mr. Noakes——" -he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Noakes! The Mayor of Pudlington?" -interrupted Eves. "Picking locks! -Nonsense! Ring up at once, Bob, and then -come and help: the ruffian will be too much -for me, just out of hospital."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton gave the message.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They'll send a man at once. He'll be -here in about ten minutes," he reported. -"Are you sure it isn't Mr. Noakes? I could -have sworn I recognised him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"So I am—so I am," panted the prisoner, -who had hitherto struggled in silence. -"What the Turk do 'ee mean by assaulting -me—murderous assault—Mayor of Pudlington?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, now, don't be rash!" said Eves. -"You won't make matters any better by -pretending to be our worthy mayor. He -won't like that, you know, when you're -brought into court to-morrow. I shall have -to give evidence, and when I tell him that the -fellow caught rifling a drawer took his name -in vain——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But I be the mayor—Philemon Noakes; -and I'll send you to jail for assault and -battery, without the option of a fine. Let -me go! I'm the mayor, I tell 'ee!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I really think he's telling the truth," said -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Just then Noakes, kicking out, dealt -Templeton a heavy blow on the ankle.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You had better lie still, whoever you -are!" said the latter, warmly. "Violence -won't help you!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course not—only makes things ten -times worse!" said Eves. "Catch his legs, -Bob; if he isn't quiet we'll have to truss him -up. I never came across such an impudent -scoundrel. Here's a burglar, caught in the -act, claiming to be the chief magistrate! -That beats everything! How's it possible? -I say, Bob, there'll be a queer scene in court -to-morrow. Suppose it were true, I can't for -the life of me see how the mayor on the -bench and the criminal in the dock are going -to arrange matters. Will he hop from one -to the other, and finally sentence himself? -That's a Jekyll and Hyde problem I can't -solve. But here's somebody coming—the -bobby, I expect."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Through the half-open door came a policeman, -with handcuffs hanging from his wrists.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here he is, constable!" said Eves. -"He's been struggling, but I dare say he'll -go quietly."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now then, there," said the constable, -"get up and come along quiet. We've been -looking for you a month past. Who gives -him in charge?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I do," said Eves, "though I suppose -Mr. Templeton ought to do it. You know -Mr. Templeton, constable? Temporary assistant -to Mr. Wilkins."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, sure, I've seed the gentleman." -Noakes had now risen, and stood before the -constable, Eves on one side, Templeton on -the other. His face, hitherto in shade, had -come within the rays of the dim lamp.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Daze me!" said the constable, after a -hard stare. "Surely—ay, 'tis the mayor, -with the beginning of a black eye!"</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 74%" id="figure-127"> -<span id="daze-me-said-the-constable-surelyay-tis-the-mayor"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""'DAZE ME!' SAID THE CONSTABLE. 'SURELY—AY, 'TIS THE MAYOR.'"" src="images/img-195.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"'DAZE ME!' SAID THE CONSTABLE. 'SURELY—AY, 'TIS THE MAYOR.'"</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course I'm the mayor!" said Noakes, -truculently. "These young ruffians have -assaulted me. I give them in charge, Brown."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's cool!" said Eves. "Don't pay -any attention to him, constable. He's mad, -or intoxicated. Mr. Templeton had occasion -to come back to the shop, and we found this -fellow in the act of trying to open a drawer -where Mr. Templeton keeps important papers. -He got a bit ruffled, of course. He says he's -the mayor, but is that likely? Take him to -the station, constable: we'll give the -superintendent the facts."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's the mayor, or his double," said -the constable. "And as to arresting the -mayor——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't be a fool, Brown," said Noakes. -"It's all a mistake—and a mistake that'll -cost these young ruffians dear. I came here -to see Wilkins, and afore I could get a word -out, they knocked me down and nigh squeezed -the breath out of me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And Wilkins knows that you open his -drawers in his absence?" said Eves. "Are -these your keys, Bob, or Wilkins's?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He held up the bunch of keys which -Noakes had dropped.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Neither," said Templeton. "Mine are -in my pocket: Mr. Wilkins no doubt has his."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, jown me if I know what to do!" -said the constable. "You'd better all come -along and charge each other, seems to me!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's all this?" said a voice at the door.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Wilkins entered breathlessly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They rang me up from the station, and -told me there was burglars in my shop. -Where be they? Mr. Noakes, what have -been going on? What have come to your eye?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You may well ask, Wilkins. I came to -have a word with you about that estimate, -you know——" Wilkins tried to look as if -he knew—"and these fellows, one an assistant -of yours, I understand, set on me and half -murdered me—took me for a burglar, ha! ha!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He was trying his keys on this drawer, -Mr. Wilkins," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And why not?" demanded Wilkins, -indignantly. "Why not, I ask 'ee? 'Tis -my drawer, I keep my papers there, and -Mr. Noakes having come to see me about an -estimate, of course he saves time and gets -the estimate out ready."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And Brown will take 'em in charge for -an unprovoked assault," said Noakes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, now, Mr. Noakes," said Wilkins, -soothingly, "I wouldn't go so far as that. -Not if it was me. It do seem 'twas a mistake. -They took 'ee for a burglar—a nat'ral mistake, -that's what it was, and my advice to one and -all is, let it bide and say no more about it. -We don't want no newspapers getting a hold -of things like this. Won't do none of us no -good—that's what I say."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves was loth to let Noakes go scot free, -but after a whispered consultation with -Templeton, who pointed out the improbability -of any magistrate being induced to -believe, in face of Wilkins's explanation, that -the mayor was a burglar, he grudgingly -agreed to withdraw the charge. Templeton -took the precaution of removing all his own -papers from the drawer, and leaving Noakes -with Wilkins, returned with Eves to -Mrs. Pouncey's cottage.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"So much for your rough diamond!" -said Eves. "Noakes evidently didn't know -before to-day that you were here, and when I -saw him confabbing with Wilkins he was no -doubt asking all about you. Wilkins must -have told him about your inventions, and -he thought a visit to your drawer would give -him an idea or two, and enable him to get in -first with a patent."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But you don't suppose Wilkins was in the plot?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't know about that, but he's clearly -under Noakes's thumb. Some one said that -you know a man by the company he keeps. -Wilkins keeps uncommonly bad company."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm disappointed in him, I confess," -said Templeton. "To-morrow I'll give him -a week's notice, and work on my own for the -rest of my leave."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Next morning Templeton, after breakfast, -went to the workshop as usual, leaving Eves -to his own devices until lunch-time. Eves -spent an hour pottering about in the shed, -and was particularly interested in the fire -extinguishing composition.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rummy old sport!" he thought. "I -suppose he will strike something really good -one of these days, and be a bloated millionaire -while I'm pinching on a miserable pension. -Wonder what temperature this stuff melts -at, by the way."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He found, standing against the wall, a -metal tray pierced with holes which had been -plugged with the composition. A thermometer -hung on a nail.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Hanged if I don't experiment on my own -account!" he thought.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He filled the tray with water from the -pump in Mrs. Pouncey's garden, laid it on -an iron tripod which he found in the shed, -and obtaining some firewood and coke from -Mrs. Pouncey, kindled a small fire in an -iron brazier. This he put underneath the -tray, hanging the thermometer from the -tripod. In a few minutes a sizzling informed -him that water was trickling through the -holes, and lifting the thermometer, he -discovered that it registered 76°.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"By George! What a rag!" he exclaimed. -"I wonder if it can be done! Mustn't tell -Bob, though!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He put out the fire, emptied the brazier -and the tray, replugged the holes and removed -all traces of his experiment. Then he walked -into the town, and made his way to the -Literary Institute.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good morning, Mr. Johnson," he said -to the builder, whom he found reading a -newspaper in the large hall, and smiling -broadly. "You've got all ready for -to-night, I see. How many will the place hold?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Two hundred and fifty, or thereabouts," -said the builder.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's about the whole able-bodied -population of Pudlington, isn't it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why no, sir, not with the women folk. -They've got votes now-a-days, and there -be more women voters than men, seemingly. -Have 'ee seen the </span><em class="italics">Echo</em><span>, sir?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your local rag? Anything in it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A rare bit o' news that you won't see -every week. Look 'ee here."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He handed the </span><em class="italics">Pudlington Echo</em><span> to Eves, -pointing to a paragraph headed with large type.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">"MISTAKEN FOR A BURGLAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">"AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF THE MAYOR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"Our worthy mayor was involved in an -awkward predicament last night. In -pursuance of an appointment with Mr. Wilkins, -of the British Motor Garage, he arrived at -the workshop between eight and nine o'clock, -and was awaiting the proprietor, when he -was suddenly seized and thrown down by a -young man in the uniform of a second -lieutenant, who had come up in company with -Mr. Wilkins's assistant, and, not familiar -with the mayor's lineaments, had mistaken -him for a burglar. The police were -telephoned for, and Constable Brown, on reaching -the scene, found himself in an unenviable -position, between cross-charges of burglary -and common assault. The tension was -relieved by the arrival of Mr. Wilkins, who -saw at once that a pardonable mistake had -been made by his assistant and the young -officer, and by the exercise of his accustomed -tact succeeded in bringing both parties to an -amicable understanding. We have unfortunately -to record that in the regrettable fracas -our mayor sustained an ocular abrasion, -the consequences of which, while temporarily -disfiguring, will, we trust, be otherwise -negligible. As a comparative newcomer -Mr. Noakes may not be aware that he is in good -company. Those familiar with the chronicles -of our ancient borough will remember the -historic bout between Ted Sloggins and -Jemmy Wild, the prizefighter once Mayor of -Pudlington, when the latter was knocked out -in the tenth round with two broken ribs -and a black eye."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"That's a nasty one!" said Eves, returning -the paper.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That last bit, sir? True, I feel it -so—very nasty indeed. That feller have got -his knife into the mayor, in a sly sort of way."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Noakes isn't very popular, then? -The local paper would hardly give a dig -at a popular mayor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, sir, to tell 'ee the truth, there's -two parties, one for and one against. -Mr. Noakes is almost a newcomer, and some folks -don't take kindly to his pushing ways. I -don't myself, I own it. He's near driven me -off my head over this meeting, and though -I'd do anything in the way of business, I -don't hold with his views. He was one of -they 'Stop the War' kidney, and though -goodness knows I'd 'a stopped the war, -having a son over in France, I wouldn't stop -it a moment afore we'd done what we set -out to do, and thankful I am our lads have -done it. That there young officer last -night"—he smiled—"was you, I take it, sir."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The curtain's dropped over that, -Mr. Johnson," said Eves. "By the way, you -were going to try Mr. Templeton's new fire -extinguisher. Have you rigged up the -apparatus?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, sure, 'tis all ready. Come up along, -and I'll show 'ee. I'll try it next week, just -afore I plaster the ceiling."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He took Eves to the floor above, and showed -him, between the workmen's planks and the -matchboard, a large shallow tank of sheet -iron resting on the rafters. It was filled -with water, and the builder explained that -the holes in the bottom had been plugged -with the composition a week before.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Most ingenious," said Eves, making a -mental note of the position of the tank. "If -it answers, I suppose you will make a tank -to cover the whole of the ceiling."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Surely, and put it into every house, hall -or church I build."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Johnson, where are you?" came a call -from below.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis Mr. Noakes himself, come to bother -me again!" said Johnson in an undertone. -Aloud he cried: "Coming, Mr. Noakes, -coming! ... Belike you'll bide here a bit," -he added with a smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm not keen on meeting your worthy -mayor," replied Eves. "I'll come down -when he's gone."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Through the matchboard Eves clearly -heard the conversation between the two men.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Look 'ee here, Johnson," began Noakes, -irritably, "this won't do. The place is as -cold as an ice-house, and my orders was to -heat en well. Folks won't be no good -listening to speeches if they're all of a shiver."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, bless 'ee, Mr. Noakes, 'tis only -ten o'clock. There's plenty of time to get -the room comfortable warm by seven. The -furnace is going, and you don't want the -place like a greenhouse, do 'ee? Folks 'ud -all drop asleep."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's a medium, Johnson. I count on -you to regulate the furnace so's we're -cosy-like. 'Tis a raw morning, and 'twill be -worse to-night. Keep the furnace going -steady, and come four o'clock shet all the -winders to keep out the night air."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But what about ventilation? If so be -there's a good audience you'll have women -fainting, and I don't know what all."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There'll be plenty of ventilation through -the matchboard," said Noakes, looking -upward. "Besides, we've always the winders -to cool the air if need be, but if you ain't -got a good fire—why there you are! See -that my orders are carried out, Johnson."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Very good. You shall have it like an -oven if you like: 'tis not for me to say."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes, whose face suggested the recent -application of a beefsteak, inspected the -rows of chairs, mounted the platform and -re-arranged the table, scolded the charwoman -who had left her dust-pan on the chairman's -seat, and finally departed. Then Eves -rejoined the builder.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"They'll be warm afore they gets to work," -said the latter, smiling, "And if so be there's -any opposition, I won't say but what -tempers 'll rise to biling point. However!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A queer man, your mayor!" said Eves. -"By the way, I'd like to have a look at your -furnace."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Surely, sir. Come wi' me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He led Eves into the basement, where a -young man in shirt-sleeves was stoking the fire.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll have to keep 'ee to-night, Fred," -said the builder, "and sorry I be to say it, -but the mayor's just been talking to me, and -wants the place hotted up. You must stay -till eight, my lad, and leave a good fire when -you go: there's no telling how long the -speechifying will last; these 'lection meetings -are that uncertain."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The stoker brushed his arm across his -damp brow, and muttered something -uncomplimentary of the mayor. Johnson -expounded to Eves the merits of his heating -system, and followed him up the stairs again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The mayor's a busy man just now," said -Eves. "Isn't there some sort of a ceremony -coming on?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, so 'tis, a ceremony that's come down -from very ancient days, very ancient indeed, -when we was all heathens, so it seems. 'Tis -the anointing of the British Stone, they do -call it, a rare old block of granite all by itself -in a field some way north o' the town. -Nobody knows how it come there, but 'tis said -there was a battle on the spot, I don't know -how many hundred years ago, and a whole -cemetery of bones down below. Whatever -the truth is, the mayor and corporation -marches out in full rig once a year, and the -mayor breaks a bottle o' cider, the wine o' -the country, atop of the stone. I say 'tis -just an excuse for a randy, for they make a -sort of fair o't, wi' stalls and merry-go-rounds, -and I don't know what all. There won't be -so much fun as usual this year, though, owing -to shortage of sugar for sweets and cakes and -such. Still, maybe 'twill be worth your -seeing, being so ancient."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rather! I'm tremendously keen on -rags, ancient or modern. I'll be there!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves bade the builder good-bye at the -door of the hall, and the latter went up the -street to his office. As soon as his back was -turned, Eves hastened below to the furnace room.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Pretty thirsty work, isn't it?" he said -to the man. "I don't wonder you're not -keen to be kept so long at it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tisn't that, sir," said the stoker. "The -truth o't is I was going to take my girl to -the cinema to-night. It begins at seven, -and she'll be in a taking, 'cos they're showing -some war pictures, and I'm in one of 'em, -and she's mad on seeing me, though I tell -her I ain't doing nothing, only looking down -my nose at a blooming Hun prisoner."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Naturally she wants to see you, and -squeeze your hand, and—you know. I -should myself. Well, I'll tell you what. -I'll come about 6.45 and release you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The man stared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I mean it, no kid," Eves went on. "I -intended coming to the meeting, but there'll -be nothing very interesting until half time, -and the stoking will be finished by then."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But you'll mess your clothes, sir, not -to speak of your hands."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, no! I'll see to that. Besides, you -know, we didn't fret ourselves about dirt -in the trenches. That's all right, then, and -look here—get your young woman a box -of chocolates, a pound box—all one price, -four shillings. She'll like your picture all -the more."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He handed the man a couple of half-crowns, -cut short his effusive thanks, and -made his way back to the cottage.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Bob come home, Mrs. Pouncey?" he -asked the old dame.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not yet, sir, and I do hope he won't be -late, for I've got as tender a loin of young -pig as ever I've roasted."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Capital! I'm ravenous, I always am. -It's a disease, Mrs. Pouncey. Don't I show -it in my face?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Bless your heart, sir, your face does me -good: it do look so happy!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Happy thoughts, old dear. I've had a -particularly happy thought all the morning, -and it shines out on my ingenuous countenance. -Some folks never show anything, you -know. My friend Templeton, now—ah! here -he is! Roast pork, Bob—hurry up!"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">IV</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>After early supper that evening, Eves and -Templeton, giving each an arm to Mrs. Pouncey, -set off for the Literary Institute. -The good woman was greatly excited at the -prospect of giving her vote for the first time -next day, and had announced her intention -of voting for "the gentleman," whereupon -Eves had reproached her, with well-assumed -severity.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That is not the right spirit, I am sure -of it," he said. "You are going to exercise -for the first time the priceless privilege, or -right, or duty, of the franchise: a most solemn -responsibility, Mrs. Pouncey. Yet you have -made up your mind to vote for 'the gentleman' -without considering what views he -professes, and without hearing the other -side, which may be one of Nature's gentlemen."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I like 'em best bred, same as pig," said -Mrs. Pouncey, stoutly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't dispute your taste," returned -Eves, "but I think you owe it to the principle -of fair play at least to hear what the other -fellow may have to say. This is your last -chance: to-morrow is the fatal day: like -the man in the poem, you must make up -your mind between truth and falsehood, -'twixt the good and evil side."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh! how you do talk, Mr. Eves!" said -Mrs. Pouncey. "I'll go, then, to please -you, and I hope as I shan't be sorry for it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't think you will; in fact I think -you will have quite a pleasant entertainment. -Mr. Noakes has insisted on the hall being -warm and cosy-like, and the chairs are quite -good. I'll find you a good place at the back -of the hall."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not too far back, then, for my hearing -bain't what it was."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But your eyes are good—wonderfully -good for a lady of forty or so. You shall -sit where you can hear—and see—everything."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton had privately taken Eves to -task for persuading the old dame to venture -out on a cold night; but Eves had only -chuckled.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The young officers were both in mufti, -Eves having borrowed an old suit from his -friend.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was twenty minutes to seven when they -reached the hall. The first few rows of -chairs were already occupied, and people -were streaming in. Eves piloted Mrs. Pouncey -to a seat in the middle of the sixth row -from the back wall.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It do be warmish, to be sure," she said, -removing her tippet.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Thanks to the mayor! Bob, look after -Mrs. Pouncey. I'll be back presently."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He dodged his way through the incoming -stream, and disappeared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton sat beside Mrs. Pouncey, looking -around the audience with an air of mild -interest, and quite unconscious that the good -lady was basking in the glory reflected upon -her by the companionship of the "young -feller as had his name in the paper." She -nodded and smiled at her friends and -acquaintances, and bridled visibly when she -saw heads put together, nods in her direction, -curious glances at Templeton, and lips -whispering into ready ears.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The hall gradually filled. Tradesmen of -the town, farmers from the outskirts, a -sprinkling of khaki, and a considerable -number of women, occupied all the chairs, -and overflowed into the aisles along the walls. -Conversation buzzed; the broad Doric of -the county mingled quaintly with the -north-country burr and the cockney twang of the -soldiers whom chance had camped in the -neighbourhood.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Where be Mr. Eves, I wonder?" said -Mrs. Pouncey, presently. She was in truth -disappointed. "Mr. Templeton was a nice -young gentleman, to be sure" (so she afterwards -confided to a gossip), "but he was that -quiet—well, you didn't like to speak to him -promiscous-like, for fear you spoiled the -high thoughts a-rooting in his mind. But -that Mr. Eves, now—well, you weren't afeared -of high thoughts with him. He was a merry -feller, that he was, full of his fun; and -talk—my dear, you should have heard him; 'twas -just as if you poured out a kettle till it run -dry, and the most beautiful long words, I do -assure 'ee."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Where be Mr. Eves, I wonder?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The question roused Templeton from his -abstracted scrutiny of the audience. He -glanced at his watch; it was two minutes -to seven. Some of the soldiers were already -stamping their feet and calling "Time!" He -looked up and down the hall, along the -walls, into the doorway. Eves was not to -be seen. A misgiving seized him. Eves -had been very keen on coming to this -meeting. Was he contemplating a "rag"? The -idea made Templeton perspire.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>An outburst of cheers and clapping of -hands drew his attention from his uneasy -thoughts. The platform party had arrived. -Noakes, wearing his chain of office, stepped -first on to the platform. He was followed -by a lean, hungry-looking man with fiery -eyes, clean-shaven, his reddish hair brushed -up from the scalp. Templeton recognised -the features of a fanatical agitator whose -portrait had appeared in the picture papers. -The local Labour candidate, a burly fellow -with a jolly red face and closely trimmed -beard, took his seat beside the speaker of -the evening, and the remaining chairs on -the platform were occupied by his principal -supporters, male and female.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The cheers subsided, and the mayor rose. In -the silence a high-pitched voice enquired from -the rear of the hall, "Who said burglar?" Some -of the audience laughed, some cried -"Shame!" and a shrill cry of "It wasn't -me!" and a scuffle announced that the -chucker-out had proved more than equal -to the occasion. Noakes smiled blandly -until the noise had ceased: then he began.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ladies and gentlemen."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But there is no need to report his opening -speech, which indeed was unusually brief -for a chairman's. Templeton had begun to -think better of him, until, after announcing -that he would not stand between the audience -and their great comrade from London, he -said that, when the speech of the evening -was finished, he would venture to make a few -remarks by way of applying its principles -to local circumstances. He then introduced -his friend and comrade, and sat down.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Nor is it worth while, perhaps, to follow -the "comrade from London" through his -hour's declamation. "The fellow could -speak," said Templeton, afterwards, "and -what he said wasn't all rot. But it was full -of the most hopelessly unpractical ideas, -streaked with a vein of bitterness against -every thing and every body, and absolutely -vitiated for me by the assumption that every -rich man is a knave, and every poor man a -martyr. Noakes ought to have let well alone, -but he tried to dot the i's and simply provoked -Eves's question. If he had closed the -meeting after the big speech, there'd have been -no trouble."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Whether it was that the bucolic mind -moved too slowly to keep pace with the -orator's flying periods, or that the townsmen -from London and the North were spell-bound -by his fervid eloquence, or simply -that the growing heat of the hall induced -lethargy; certain it is that the meeting was -quite orderly and decorous during the great -speech. Not until the chairman was again -on his feet did trouble arise, and that was -due to a simple question put by Eves. But -we must go back a little.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When Eves descended into the furnace -room, and released the stoker, he stripped -off coat, waistcoat and collar, rolled up his -shirt-sleeves, and started energetically upon -his self-assumed task. Hardly two minutes -had elapsed when he heard a rasping voice -behind him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's the way. Keep it going steady, -my man. There's a thermometer on the -wall just inside the hall; run up every now -and again and take a look at it: never let -it drop below 60°."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay sure," said Eves, counterfeiting the -local brogue, and Noakes, who had been -standing on the bottom step, went away -gratified that his orders were being carried -out so well.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not below 60°!" said Eves under his -breath. "Sixteen degrees to go! Well, -it's a long, long way to Tipperary, but my -heart is </span><em class="italics">there</em><span>!" And he ladled coal and -coke into the furnace with the fresh -enthusiasm of an amateur.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It occurred to him that if he was to slip -up into the hall for the purpose of examining -the thermometer it would be just as well -to look the part he was playing. So he -smeared his face and arms, and what was -visible of his shirt, with coal dust, much -assisted by the dampness of his perspiring skin.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He paid his first visit to the thermometer -just as the meeting opened. It hung on the -wall near a group of Tommies who had been -unable to obtain seats. They eyed him with -a certain humorous sympathy. The -thermometer registered 62°.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>During the hour-long oration Eves was -up and down several times, noting with -satisfaction that the mercury was steadily -rising, yet a little doubtful whether it would -reach the critical point before the close of -the meeting. He noticed towards the end -of the hour that the heat was telling on some -members of the audience. Women were -fanning themselves; two or three plethoric -farmers had fallen asleep: all the Tommies -had unbuttoned their tunics. "Some fug, -mate!" one of them remarked in a stage -whisper. Eves only smiled in answer; he -had seen that the mercury now touched 74°, -and having stoked up the furnace to its -full capacity, was satisfied that he could -do no more, and stood among the soldiers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The great speech ended in wild and whirling -words: the speaker sat down amid applause, -and Noakes arose.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, my friends, we've heard a terrible -fine speech, that we have, and I agree with -every word of it. Afore I call upon our -candidate—he'll be our member to-morrow—to -propose a vote of thanks to our comrade, -I've a thing or two to say for to bring it -home to the hearts o' the men and women -o' Pudlington. Capitalism, as he truly said, -is the deadly poison as is driving a nail into -the roots o' the nation: I couldn't say better -nor that. Well, then, neighbours all, what -I do say is, don't 'ee go and vote for no -capitalist as belongs to a covey of profiteers, -birds of prey as peck out the vitals o' the -widder and the orphan. Ah, neighbours! my -heart bleeds as I think o' the poor lone -widder woman as pays dear for her bread, -and can't get no cheese, scraping to pay the -rate collector as he——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who raised Widow Pouncey's rent?" -came a clear voice from the back of the hall.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The mayor paused, and cast a swift glance -in the direction of the questioner. He had -recognised the voice, and sought for that -well-remembered figure in officer's khaki. -The somnolent audience was roused, every -head was turned, many people had risen -from their seats. Mrs. Pouncey, who had -been dozing, her head constantly wobbling -over towards Templeton's shoulder, suddenly -sat erect, and exclaimed with a cry of delight: -"That's Mr. Eves at last, bless him!" Eves -himself, having launched his question, and -ascertained that the mercury stood at 75°, -turned with a smile towards the eager -Tommies who wanted to know all about -Widow Pouncey.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Noakes recovered from the shock before -the first thrill of excitement had passed off.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tis low manners to interrupt," he said -in his smoothest tones, still trying to discover -Eves's whereabouts, but in vain. "I was -a-going to say——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Answer the question!" came in a -chorused roar from the soldiers. "Who -raised Widow Pouncey's rent?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Shall I tell 'em, sir?" whispered Mrs. Pouncey.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, no!" advised Templeton, anxious -to avoid publicity. "Better say nothing."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, I be that shy, and the room so -terrible hot."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As chairman of this meeting," said -Noakes, with a patient smile, "I rule that -questions can't be asked now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who—raised—Widow—Pouncey's—rent?" -sang the Tommies, to the tune of -"Here we suffer grief and pain" </span><em class="italics">da capo</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who was it, mate?" asked one of them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I dare say he'll tell us presently," said -Eves, "if you keep it up a little longer."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He had his eyes on the thermometer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The "comrade from London" got up and -spoke earnestly in Noakes's ear, while the -chorus continued. The mayor gave a sickly -smile and held up his hand. There was -silence.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My friend on my right," said the mayor, -"reminds me as there's nothing more powerful -than the truth."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto!" yelled the Tommies. "Who—raised——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"</span><em class="italics">Nobody!</em><span>" shouted the mayor. "'Tis a lie!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's a lie?" cried one of the men. -The others looked enquiringly at Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say 'tis a lie!" repeated the mayor. -"Mrs. Pouncey pays me five shilling a week, -the same as she's paid——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He stopped, for three parts of the way -down the hall there rose a stout figure, -with face flushed and bonnet awry. There -was a moment's breathless silence, then -Mrs. Pouncey, with forefinger outstretched -towards the mayor, spoke out.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, the same as I've paid honest for -twenty year, afore ever you come into the -town, and 'twas you as said 'twould be -doubled as soon as Parlyment lets you, if -not afore, and not a word of a lie in it, -Mr. Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The old woman collapsed into her seat, -amid murmurs of "Shame!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good old Mrs. Pouncey!" "Who said -profiteer?" "Noakes raised Widow -Pouncey's rent!" "Chuck him out!" "Get -out, old crocodile!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The hall rang with various cries. Eves, -smiling broadly, glanced at the thermometer -The mercury touched 76°. Noakes leant -forward over the table, and shaking his -fists, roared:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As chairman of this meeting, and Mayor -of Pudlington, here I be, and here I bide."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He started back suddenly, putting a finger -between his collar and his neck, and looking -upward. Next moment he dropped his head -and brushed a drop of water from his nose. -Several of the platform party turned their -faces up, started back, and upset their chairs. -Two or three thin streams of water, as from -the eyelets in the spray of a shower bath, -were descending from the unplastered ceiling. -Noakes edged a little to the left, and was -opening his mouth again, when with a hiss -and clatter like a heavy shower of rain upon -a glass house, the whole contents of Templeton's -experimental tank poured down between -the laths of the matchboard. Noakes gasped -and spluttered, the ladies of his party shrieked, -all the occupants of the platform stampeded -like a flock of sheep, overturning their chairs, -obstructing one another in their mad flight -for the stairs. For one moment of amazement -the audience was silent; then a roar of -inextinguishable laughter broke from nearly -three hundred throats, whistles and cat-calls -resounded, the Tommies looked round for the -stoker, whom, by some obscure instinct or -intuition, they connected with the -catastrophic shower. But Eves had slipped away.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 100%" id="figure-128"> -<span id="the-whole-contents-of-templeton-s-experimental-tank-poured-down"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON'S EXPERIMENTAL TANK POURED DOWN."" src="images/img-222.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON'S EXPERIMENTAL TANK POURED DOWN."</span></div> -</div> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>A special Election Edition of the </span><em class="italics">Pudlington -Echo</em><span> appeared next day, and was bought -up eagerly by the crowds who, in spite of -the pouring rain, had flocked into the town -to record their votes. The Editor had filled -half a column with a descriptive paragraph -in his best style.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">"SHOWER BATH AT A MEETING</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span class="medium">"REMARKABLE INCIDENT</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span class="medium">"THE MAYOR MISSES HIS UMBRELLA</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"The meeting at the Literary Institute in -support of the candidature of Mr. Benjamin -Moggridge was broken up by a most remarkable -unrehearsed effect, which is probably -without parallel in the political life of this -country. The mayor, Alderman Noakes, -was in the act of protesting, with all the -dignity pertaining to his exalted office, -against the demands of certain unruly spirits -that he should vacate the chair, when a -quantity of water, calculated to be equal -to a rainfall of 2.8 ins., descended with -startling suddenness and almost tropical violence -upon the platform, bringing the meeting -to a summary end. We understand that -this inauspicious close to Mr. Moggridge's -campaign was due to the unexpected operation -of a new fire extinguisher, which the -builder, our well-known and respected fellow -citizen Mr. James Johnson, had located above -the hall with a view to experimenting on a -suitable occasion. The premature exhibition -of this remarkable invention, which promises -to be an epoch-making success, appears to -have originated in the laudable desire of -Mr. Noakes that the large audience should be in -no way inconvenienced by the inclemency -of the weather. His orders that the hall, -which, in its unfinished state, might -otherwise have sown the seeds of dangerous and -possibly fatal complaints, should be heated -to a wholesome degree of temperature, were -carried out with what proved to be -supererogatory solicitude; but our worthy mayor -will doubtless console himself for his -temporary discomfiture—the second this week, -it will be remembered—with the reflection -that the efficacy of the new fire extinguisher -was abundantly demonstrated, and that the -future immunity of the Literary Institute -from the ravages of the devouring monster is assured."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="a-brush-with-the-enemy"><span class="bold large">A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">I</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Eves was dozing comfortably beneath a -pile of blankets. It was a cold morning, -and though he had been awakened when -Templeton rose from the adjacent bed, he -had merely snorted in reply to his friend's -declaration that it was time to get up, and -turned over on the other side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>His slumbering ears were just conscious of -a shout from below; but he paid no heed to -it, even when it was repeated. He was -settling down in luxurious warmth to that -early morning sleep which so deliciously -rounds off the night's repose, when two -sinewy hands wrenched away the bedclothes -wherein he had rolled himself, and Templeton -shouted:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Get up, you slugabed. It's come!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Cover me up, confound you!" cried -Eves, wrathfully. "I shall catch my death -of cold."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Get up. I've been dressed half an hour. -It's come, I tell you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves bent his knees and pulled his pyjamas -down over his ankles.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't know what you're talking about, -and I don't care. Mrs. Pouncey"—he raised -his voice—"come and drag this murdering -ruffian away. He's giving me pneumonia."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't be an ass, Tom. Breakfast is -nearly ready, and as the nozzle has just come -by parcel post, I want to fix it and see how it -works before I go off to the shop."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You and your inventions will be the -death of me," grumbled Eves, hugging -himself. Then with a sudden movement he -caught up his pillow, slammed it at Templeton's -head, followed it up with a rush, and -began to throw off his pyjamas. "Get out!" -he cried. "I'll tub and dress in five minutes—not -for you, old greaser, but for the bacon -I smell frying."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I'll have time to fit on the nozzle -before you're down."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He dashed out of the room, took the -staircase in three resounding leaps, and ran -bare-headed through the rain to the shed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves smiled as he watched him through the window.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Old Bob's excited this morning," he -thought. "Another rag, I wonder?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton's usual stolidity was in fact -quite broken down by the arrival of the nozzle -made to his own design, for which he had -been waiting in order to complete his -reconstruction of the ancient road-sweeper. At -breakfast he was too much excited to do full -justice to the dish of bacon and eggs which -the excellent Mrs. Pouncey had provided.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's just the thing, Tom," he cried. "It -fits perfectly, and I believe the old 'bus will -go like one o'clock. The only thing left, if -it does work, is to complete my specification -and fire it in at the Patent Office."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't see that. Nobody wants a road-sweeper -to go like a Rolls-Royce."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't understand. I'm not out for -making road-sweepers. I only bought the -old thing to experiment on. It's the -reversible steering I'm going to patent. Look -here; here's my rough draft. That'll give -you an idea of what I'm driving at."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves took the paper handed to him, and -read aloud:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"'I, Robert Templeton, of the Red House, -Wonston, Hampshire, in the Kingdom of -England, lately a lieutenant in His Majesty's -Forces, do hereby declare the nature of this -invention and in what manner the same is -to be performed to be particularly described -and ascertained in and by the following——'</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Oh, I say! I can't wade through all this -balderdash. Tell me in plain English what -you're after."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, in plain English, then, my motor is -provided with two sets of steering-gear, and -the clutch couplings are so arranged that I -can engage one and disengage the other simply -by shifting round on the seat, on the pivot -of which a cam is keyed——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"For goodness' sake, Bob, spare me the -rest, if that's plain English. D'you mean -that you can drive your 'bus forward or -backward as you please?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You can put it like that if you like, only, -of course, the 'bus is always going forward, -because when you shift round on the seat——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Exactly. Not a word more. Why -couldn't you say that in a sentence instead -of meandering through page after page? -Why, hang it all, this will make a book before -you've done with it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It does seem a little long-winded," -Templeton admitted, seriously, "but you've -no idea how particular the Patent Office -people are. You have to be correct in the -smallest detail, and draw diagrams showing -everything. There's a lot of work to be done -on this draft yet before it's ready."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, let's go and see how it works in -practice. I'd die happy if I thought one of -your old inventions was really going to make -your fortune."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid there isn't time now. I must -hurry off to the shop. But we'll try it -to-night when I get back. It's a pity old -Wilkins insisted on my working out my week's -notice; I'd have liked to devote all my time -to it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Can't you forfeit your screw or something?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I offered to, but Wilkins wouldn't hear -of it, and as I hate bothers, and my leaving -without notice would certainly put him in -a hole, I'll stick it till Saturday. Are you -coming with me to the shop?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll walk with you so far; then I'll go -on to the town and inquire tenderly after -Noakes. We'll meet at the 'Three Tuns' -for lunch. Mrs. Pouncey will be glad of a -day off."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Encased in macintoshes, they trudged up -the muddy lane. At the corner they met a -farmer driving his cart westward. He nodded -to Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You've gotten she at last, zur," he said, -with a smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes; all right now, Mr. West."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay. I knowed she'd come, gie un time. -Gie un time, I said, and she'll come. Well, -marnen to 'ee, zur."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Who's your she, Bob?" asked Eves as -they went on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, he means the nozzle. They're fond -of the feminine about here."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But how on earth does he know anything -about the nozzle? It came by post, you said?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes. I suppose the postman told him. -You're not used to country ways."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But how did the postman know what was -in the parcel? They don't open things, I -suppose?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course not. I dare say I mentioned -to the postman one day what I was expecting, -and they gossip about anything and everything here."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What a place! Look here, my son, -you'll have one of your inventions forestalled -one of these days if you don't keep your -mouth shut. Then you'd be sorry."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was not Eves's way to keep his mouth -shut, and he expatiated on the evils of -talkativeness all the way to the workshop, where -the friends parted. The same topic was -revived when they met at the "Three Tuns" -for lunch.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wilkins was unusually amiable to-day," -Templeton happened to remark. "He -seemed quite pleased that the nozzle is a -success."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Were you juggins enough to tell him -that?" asked Eves with a touch of scorn.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, what else could I do when he asked -me point-blank? I didn't mention it first."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I suppose he heard of it from the postman -or from Farmer West, or from any other -inhabitant of this gossiping old monkey-house. -Wilkins is the last man who ought to know -anything about your private affairs. Upon -my word, I think I'd better get demobilised -and take a job as your keeper. You're not -fit to be trusted alone."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After lunch Eves accompanied Templeton -to the shop, and watched over him with -fatherly interest through the afternoon. He -was amused to see Templeton from time to -time break off his work on a purely mechanical -job, hurry to his coat hanging on a peg, -extract the specification from his -breast-pocket, and make some trifling alteration -in text or diagram.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Is that the result of what they call -unconscious cerebration?" he asked. "Or can -your mighty mind attend to two things at -once? You're a wonder, Bobby, and I hope -I shall live long enough to write you a -thumping obituary notice."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Next day, immediately after breakfast, -Eves went off on his own devices, and did not -see Templeton again until supper-time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You look rather down in the mouth. -Bob," he said. "Anything wrong?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm a bit worried," Templeton replied. -"I don't think I'm naturally suspicious——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Rather not! You're as innocent as a -babe. Any old diddler could suck you in. -But what's happened?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"This afternoon I had to go out for an -hour or so to try a car. Wilkins was away, -so I left the shop closed. While I was running -the car I had an idea for my specification -and when I got back I took it out of my coat -to alter it. And I found this."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He handed Eves the paper.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well? It's the same old thing—same -old rigmarole, isn't it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That smudge of ink!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your elbow—but, of course, it's all in -pencil. You don't mean—</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As you say, it's all in pencil. It hasn't -been near ink, so far as I know. At any rate, -that smudge wasn't there this morning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves whistled.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wilkins knew about your specification, of -course; everybody knows everything in this -Arcadia. My prophetic soul! He's been -copying your draft, Bob, and being an untidy -penman, left his mark behind. He must -have been uncommon slippy to copy it all -in an hour, though, with all these erasures -and interlinings. Any one else got a key -of the shop?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No one, so far as I know."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Noakes? You remember when we caught -him at the drawer? My hat! They don't -stick at trifles. This is felony, or I'm a -Dutchman. Wilkins, or Noakes, or both of -them, want to get in first at the Patent -Office; they've stolen your specification."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's a serious charge. We've no proof."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear chap, it's as plain as a pikestaff. -But look here, what can be done? Look at -the worst; say they have copied your stuff, -what then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If they file their application at the Patent -Office it will be no end of a bother and expense -to prove it's mine."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'd swear that before any beak in the -country. But let's keep to the point. They -couldn't get to the Patent Office to-night?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No; it closes at five; opens at ten in the -morning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What time's the last train up?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It left twenty minutes ago," said Templeton, -after a glance at his watch.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And in the morning?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The first train reaches London something -after eleven."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Eves mused for a few seconds, drumming -on the table.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I tell you what," he said at length. "You -set to work and make a fair copy of this stuff, -and we'll go up by the first train to-morrow -and see if—Hallo! here's a car. Rather -late for a visit."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The panting of an automobile engine was -distinctly audible. There was a rap on the -outer door. Mrs. Pouncey shuffled along the -passage; voices were heard; then the -landlady entered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A gentleman to see you, sir; O'Reilly by name."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our excitable Irishman," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ask him in, Mrs. Pouncey, please," said -Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>O'Reilly came in like a tornado, waving his -arms and wearing his capacious smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sure, I'm delighted to see the two of you, -and me not knowing the way," he said as -he shook hands. "The Government, or the -colonel anyway, has taken my tender for the -camp waste, and 'tis to you I owe it, and I'll -beg you to drink to the colonel, or anyway the -Government; I have the champagne in my -pocket ready."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He produced a bottle from the deep pocket -of his waterproof coat.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good of you, Mr. O'Reilly," said -Eves. "You've come in the nick of time. -My friend Templeton wants something to -cheer him up."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do you say so? What might be the -trouble, now?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Expound, Bob; your invention, I mean. -I should only make a mess of it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It was just a notion for driving a car in -the opposite direction to what it has been -going, the driver swinging round on his seat -and automatically bringing into action -steering-gear affecting the back wheels instead of -the front, or vice versa."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Saves turning in a narrow lane, you see," -added Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Bedad, that would be a blessing to me -this dark night," said O'Reilly. "But what -is the trouble? Funds run out? Would -you show me the plans, I'd find the -capital—provided they'll work out, of course."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" cried Eves. "Here's the -draft specification—but there's the rub; -that smudge of ink. Look here, Bob, just -set to work and copy your diagrams while I -tell Mr. O'Reilly all about it, and he opens -the fizz. We've no wine-glasses, only -tumblers, but no one will mind that."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>O'Reilly's face grew grave as he listened to -the story told by Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's bad," he said. "I stopped at the -station a while ago to get a London evening -paper, and I saw that mayor of yours, -Noakes, step into the London train. There -was another fellow with him, seeing him off."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What sort of man?" asked Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A thick ruffian of a fellow in a long coat -and a motor cap. I can't tell you which of -them I dislike the most, by the faces of 'em, -I mean—him or Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That was Wilkins. There's no doubt -I was right, Bob; Noakes has slunk off to -London to get in first; and that was the last -train!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Drink, my boys," said O'Reilly, who had -meanwhile opened his bottle. "Health to -ourselves, and confusion to Noakes. We'll -get the top-side of him yet. There's one -way to do it. 'Tis nine o'clock, and we are a -hundred and sixty miles from London—that -and a bit over. I'll drive you up in my car."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Magnificent," cried Eves. "How long -will your diagrams take, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Under an hour; but there's the specification -to copy out."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll do that. Hand over. We'll be -ready in an hour, Mr. O'Reilly."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then I'll run back to the town and fill up -my tank and see to my tyres and lamps," -said O'Reilly. "Be you ready when I call -for you, and with luck and no punctures we'll -be in London by six o'clock."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He gulped a glass of champagne and hurried -from the room.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The two lads went on steadily with their -tasks. Templeton was finished first, and -going to his desk scrawled a hasty note, -which he placed in an envelope, and was -addressing when Eves sprang up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's done," he said, flinging down his -pen. "What are you writing to Wilkins for?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just to tell him I shan't be at the shop -till Thursday."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I wouldn't tell the brute anything."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you see, there's nothing proved -yet, and——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And Noakes, I suppose, has gone up to -town to leave his card on the King! Bob, -you're an ass. But drink up your fizz; -it's pretty flat. I hear the car. It'll be a -pretty cold ride; rather sport, though."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I hope we shan't have a spill. O'Reilly's -a bit wild, you know. I wish we hadn't -drunk that champagne."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, you're hopeless. Get on your coat, -and don't worry. It'll be a splendid rag."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Ten minutes sufficed for their donning their -thickest outer garments and soothing the -agitation into which the announcement of -their journey threw Mrs. Pouncey. Then -they started.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It is to be feared that Eves's expectation -of a "splendid rag" was somewhat -disappointed. There was a certain excitement -in the first hour's run over the quiet country -roads, when the car, behind its glaring -headlights, seemed to be continually dashing -itself against a wall of impenetrable blackness. -But it soon became monotonous. The air -was cold and damp, and in spite of their thick -clothes and the windscreen the two passengers -soon became unpleasantly chilled. O'Reilly, -a business man as well as an Irishman, had -a proper respect for his car, and drove -carefully through the towns. His enthusiasm -for the Government was considerably damped -when first at Bournemouth and then at -Southampton he found all the hotels closed, -and failed to obtain anything in the way of -liquid refreshment stronger than spade coffee. -These were the moments when Templeton -felt most comfortable, and he confided to -Eves his belief that after all they would -arrive safely at their journey's end. By the -time they reached Winchester the feet of -both were tingling with cold; at Guildford -even Eves had become morose; and it was -not until they narrowly escaped a collision -with an Army lorry as they swung round to -cross Vauxhall Bridge that Eves felt the -only thrill their journey provided.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was nearly half-past six when O'Reilly -drew up at the door of his rooms in a quiet -Westminster street.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'll be cold, sure," he said. "I'll -let you in and show you the bath-room; -there'll be hot water. I'll garage the car, -and by the time you're dry I'll be back. I -don't dare wake my housekeeper. The last -trump wouldn't get her out of bed before -half-past seven. But her heart is never -cold, and at half-past eight she'll give us a -breakfast fit for the three kings of -Carrickmagree. Not but what we'll forage out -something before then."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Bathed, warmed, and fed, the three boarded -a motor-bus soon after nine o'clock, and were -set down at the end of Chancery Lane. As -they walked up the street Eves suddenly -pulled them into a shop doorway.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's old Noakes about ten yards -ahead," he said. "The Patent Office doesn't -open till ten, I think you said, Bob?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's so."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then he's about forty minutes to wait. -Surely he won't hang about the door. Let -us follow him carefully."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They had taken only a few steps when they -saw Noakes, swinging a fat umbrella, enter -a typewriting agency.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's going to have your specification -copied," said Eves.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sure, we'll be safe till ten," said O'Reilly -with a chuckle. "The girls will keep the -likes of him waiting. Now do you come -with me to a patent agent, one of my friends. -He'll put us up to the way of getting over -Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The agent's office was but a few yards up -the street. The agent himself had not yet -arrived; his typist-secretary explained that -he was not expected until ten, and might -be later.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, then, you'll be after doing us a -kindness. My friend here has a specification -which Mr. Jones is going to file for me, and -he'll need it copied in duplicate at once. -Indeed, he'll be mighty pleased to find it -ready for him; he's been longing to get his -hand on it these many weeks, and you will -not disappoint him, will you now?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I won't disappoint you, Mr. O'Reilly," -said the girl, with a smile.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She sat down at her machine, rattled away -on the keys, and in twenty minutes handed to -O'Reilly two clean copies of the specification. -Her employer arrived on the stroke of ten. A -few words from O'Reilly apprised him of the -urgency of the matter, and he at once -accompanied the three to the Patent Office and -filed the formal application.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They left the office in couples, O'Reilly -going ahead with his friend. The other two -noticed that O'Reilly edged away to one side -quickly, leaving a gap through which came -hurriedly a shambling figure in a wideawake -and a long brown ulster, in one hand a large -envelope, in the other his huge umbrella.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our worthy mayor," whispered Eves, -giving Templeton a nudge.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Apparently Noakes had not recognised -O'Reilly, but his eyes widened and his chin -dropped as he came face to face with Eves -and Templeton. The shock of amazement -caused him to halt with a jerk, bringing him -into sharp collision with an errand boy -hurrying along behind him, a basket of fish -upon his arm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Here, old 'un, mind my toes," said the -lad, not ill-temperedly, at the same time -sticking out his elbow to ward off Noakes's -obstructing bulk. His action was as a spark -to powder. With the impulse of an angry, -ill-conditioned man to vent his wrath on the -nearest object, Noakes swung round and -brought his umbrella heavily down upon -the lad's shoulders.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll learn you!" he cried, truculently.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The response was unexpected. Snatching -up a prime cod by the tail, the lad dashed its -head full in Noakes's face. Noakes winced -at the cold, slimy contact, staggered, then -lurched forward, raising his umbrella once -more to strike. The lad was too quick for -him. Dropping his basket, he wrenched the -umbrella away, flung it into the gutter, and, -squaring his shoulders, commenced that -curious piston-like movement of the two -arms which is the street boy's preliminary -to a sparring bout. Suddenly his right fist -shot out, and planted a blow in the man's -midriff. A crowd quickly assembled.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 77%" id="figure-129"> -<span id="the-lad-dashed-its-head-full-in-noakes-s-face"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE."" src="images/img-244.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES'S FACE."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I say, d'you know that the gentleman you -are assaulting is the Mayor of Pudlington?" -said Eves, stepping up to the errand boy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't care who he is. He ain't going -to hit me for nothing, not if he's the Lord Mayor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the sight of a burly policeman -approaching from the corner of the street -brought discretion. He picked up his basket -and ran off, turning to give Noakes a parting -salute with his thumb to his nose.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">III</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>O'Reilly treated the two lads to what -Eves described as a topping lunch, and -afterwards spent half an hour in a close -examination of the specification.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I like the looks of it," he said, finally. -"Have you given it a trial?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not yet," replied Templeton. "I've -rigged up the mechanism, rather roughly, on -an old road-sweeper I got cheap, and a little -more tinkering should put it in working -order. I might be able to try it on Saturday -afternoon when I'm clear of the shop."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, then, I'm the way of making you -an offer. I'll run down on Saturday and -watch your trial. If the creature works, -I'll pay for the installation on a respectable -car, and finance you up to a thousand pounds. -You'll pay me six per cent. interest and repay -the capital just when you can."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's really too good of you, Mr. O'Reilly," -said Templeton.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sorra a bit, my boy. I'm doing you no -favour; 'tis business, and there's no denying it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Splendid!" said Eves. "You've got -your chance at last, Bob. Remember me, -old man, when the profits come rolling in. -I've stood by you in many old rags. I tell -you what, I'll write your advertisements, -and make your reversible steering as famous -as Beecham's pills."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I wouldn't wonder but you've got a -flowery style, Mr. Eves," said O'Reilly. -"Now, if so be you mean to catch your -train, you'd better be off. I'll see you on -Saturday."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They took a taxi and arrived at the station -in good time. After securing seats, Eves -walked the length of the train to see whether -Noakes was their fellow-passenger. There -was no sign of him. Eves kept an eye on -the platform from the window of his -compartment until the train moved off, but -Noakes had not appeared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He'll go on the razzle, I suppose," he -remarked, as he dropped into the corner -opposite Templeton. "But he can't keep it -up long. Isn't Saturday the day for that old -ceremony—what do they call it?—anointing -the British Stone? I'd made up my mind -to see that; it will be a bit of a rag to finish -up my holiday with. I suppose you'll be -too much occupied with your road-sweeper -to bother about it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you see, the afternoons are short -now, and as O'Reilly is coming down specially——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Just so. Business before pleasure. I -foresee the end of our old friendship. 'But -O the heavy change now thou art gone!' Milton, -old chap. That's what I shall say -when I think of the spiffing rags we've had -together, and mourn for the days that are -no more. Hand over that Punch, or I shall -burst into tears. Perhaps I shall anyhow."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Next morning, when Templeton arrived at -the shop, he found Wilkins standing at the -door, an image of truculence.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You didn't turn up yesterday," he cried. -"What was you after, eh?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As I explained in my note, I had to make -a sudden journey to London."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't want none of your explanations. -You had ought to ask my permission, going -gallivanting sudden like that. I won't have -no more of it. You're sacked; you -understand that? Sacked without notice. Here's -half a week's wages; you shan't have nothing -against me. Hook it! Now! This very -minute!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"With the greatest pleasure in life," said -Templeton, coolly. "Good morning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was not aware, until informed by the -omniscient postman, that Wilkins had received -on the previous morning a telegram from -Noakes, the cryptic wording of which had -already been thoroughly discussed in the -neighbourhood: "Boy in first sack immediate."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Delighted at the leisure afforded by his -dismissal, Templeton returned to his lodging, -and spent the remainder of that day and the -whole of the next in working at the -road-sweeper. Eves watched him for an hour -or two, but finding his friend's patient labour -too slow for his taste, he went through the -town to the scene of Saturday's ceremony, -and amused himself by looking on at the -preparations, and chatting with any one -who would listen to him. The British Stone -was a sort of truncated monolith standing -in a meadow about a couple of acres in -extent. A small square enclosure had been -roped off around it, and within stood a low -wooden platform from which the mayor, -after breaking a bottle of cider on the stone, -would deliver the annual oration in honour of -the town and its ancient worthies. Against -the hedge, on all four sides of the meadow, -were ranged caravans, roundabouts, Aunt -Sallies, raree-shows, and all the paraphernalia -of a country fair, with stalls for the sale of -hot drinks and such comestibles as the Food -Regulations had not debarred. The -continuous wet weather and the passage of many -vehicles had made the entrance to the field -a slough, and many of the showmen wore -gloomy faces at the expectation that fewer -spectators than usual would attend the -ceremony. They asked quite reasonably whether -the women folk, their best customers, would -brave the risk of sinking ankle-deep in mud.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Saturday morning came. A thin drizzle -was falling; the sky was gloomy, and -Mrs. Pouncey foretold that it was to be a "mizzly -day." Templeton, however, was so anxious -to prove the merits of his invention to O'Reilly -in the afternoon, that immediately after -breakfast, nothing daunted by the weather, -he suggested that Eves should accompany -him on a trial spin. They ran the -road-sweeper up the muddy lane to the high road, -Eves remarking that there was great scope -for the activities for which the machine was -designed. The macadamised surface of the -highway was less miry, and Templeton assured -his friend that he would not get very much -splashed if the speed of the sweeper was kept low.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton occupied the driver's seat; Eves -stood on a rail above the fixed brushes -behind, holding on to the framework. The -machine ran steadily up the road, but when -Templeton slowed down and turned upon -the pivot which was to bring into action the -steering-gear at the rear, the vehicle, instead -of moving straight hi the opposite direction, -showed a tendency to sheer off to one side. -Moreover, it turned out that the gear which -raised the brushes clear of the road was out -of order. Every now and then the brushes -dropped, and the machine reverted to its -original use. At these times Eves's boots and -puttees received a generous bespattering of -mud and water, and when the brushes began -to "race," sending a spray of mud not merely -across the road, but into his face, he protested -loudly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why didn't you wait till you could rig -cranks, or whatever they are, on a decent -car instead of this ramshackle old piece of -antiquity?" he grumbled.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sorry, old man," said Templeton; "I'll -go a bit slower."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Besides," Eves went on, "your reversible -arrangements don't act. You can't steer the -thing straight. It goes like a crab, or a drunk. -Swing round again, for goodness' sake. Here's -a wagon coming; I don't want to be chucked -under the wheels."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"All right," said Templeton, with -composure, turning round. "It's only a slight -hitch. Of course, the clutch connection is -roughly made; I did the best I could with -my materials; but you see the idea's all -right, and it'll be easy enough to correct the -defects."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You won't think of showing the thing to -O'Reilly in its present state?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why not? He's a practical man." Templeton -began to get a little warm. "It's -chaps like you who know nothing about -machinery that lose heart at a trifling -setback. And very likely another half-hour's -work in the shed will greatly improve things. -This is a trial spin; you can't expect -everything to go like clockwork first go off."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Jolly good speech, old man. Best I've -heard of yours. My faith in you is restored. -By all means run the thing back to the shed; -but, if you don't mind, I'll dismount when -we come to the lane. I don't mind a -shower-bath from above, but from below—no, -thank you. I've swallowed enough mud in -Flanders."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton spent the rest of the morning -in overhauling his mechanism, and Eves in -removing the worst of the mud splotches -from his clothes. They had just finished -lunch, when O'Reilly drove up in a growler -hired at the station.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Faith, 'tis a terrible day for wetness," he -said. "But here I am, and I'll be glad now -to take a look at your machine. Have you -it in working order?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We gave it a short trial this morning," -said Templeton. "It didn't behave quite so -well as I had hoped, but I've spent a couple -of hours on it since, and it ought to go better -now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I like your modesty, my boy. 'Tis a -rare thing in inventors."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's far too modest," said Eves. "That's -why I've appointed myself his advertising -agent. It's an old road-sweeper, remember; -he's been working under difficulties. In my -opinion—of course, I'm not an expert—the -thing's a great success; you should see the -amount of mud it scooped up."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I saw a mighty deal of mud as I came -down the lane. You will not try it here, sure?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We tried it along the road," said Templeton. -"And I've been thinking of a better -place. On the other side of the town the -road is tarred, and the machine will run much -more smoothly. Besides, there's very little mud."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A bright idea," said Eves. "I propose -that you drive the machine over the muddy -roads while Mr. O'Reilly and I follow in the -growler. We'll get out when we come to the -tarred highway, and I'll perch up where I -was before, and try to keep those brushes in -order."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The suggestion was accepted. O'Reilly -looked on critically as Templeton drove the -sweeper slowly up the lane; then he stepped -into the cab and told the driver to follow at a -reasonable distance. Eves joined him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As they proceeded along the road they -passed at intervals small groups of farmers -and labourers with their wives and children, -who, defying the weather, had donned their -Sunday best for the civic ceremony.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Is it the likes of a wake, then?" O'Reilly -asked. "Or a horse-race, maybe?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Only a country beano," replied Eves, and -told what he knew of the afternoon's proceedings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's disappointing, now. I'd have -liked to see a good race, but I've no wish in -the world to hear Noakes make a speech."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Arriving at the tarred highway the two -alighted from the cab. Eves took up his post -above the brushes as before, and O'Reilly, -eager to watch the working of Templeton's -apparatus at close quarters, chose a -somewhat precarious position on the opposite -side of the framework.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, Tom," said Templeton, his manner -betraying a little nervousness, "if you see -the gear dropping, just raise it. There's very -little mud, but there are pools here and there, -and I don't want to splash you. I propose -to run straight ahead for a few minutes till -I get up a fair speed, for I fancy the mechanism -will work better then. Are you ready?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Righto. The road's clear."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton started his engine. The -machine moved forward, at first slowly, -but gradually gathering way. Eves kept a -watchful eye on the brushes, and when they -showed no sign of dropping he remarked -to O'Reilly, "I think old Bob's done the -trick this time."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Maybe," replied O'Reilly, in an -undertone, "but this reversing gear, now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The speed continually increased until it -reached a rate of about fifteen miles an hour. -There was no traffic on the road, and -Templeton was on the point of slowing down, -preparatory to stopping and turning, when, -rounding a slight bend, he came to a -cross-road just as the head of the civic procession -arrived at the corner. The town sergeant, -bearing the mace, led the way; behind him -came Noakes, in his mayoral robes, followed -immediately by the councillors, the senior -of whom carried a magnum bottle of cider.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Templeton caught sight of the procession -just in time to avoid a collision. Forgetting -in the excitement of the moment the necessity -of slowing down before bringing the reverse -into action, he swung round on the pivot. -The effect was amazing. The machine, -instead of running in the opposite direction, -plunged forward with zigzag rushes, charging -into the procession. Templeton lost his -head, forgot his brakes, and made frantic -efforts to stop the engine, but something -had stuck. Eves, between alarm and amusement -at the stampede of the civic dignitaries, -forgot to keep his eye on the brushes, which -had dropped owing to the change of gear, -and now began to race. Unlike the highway, -the cross-road was deep in mud, and as the -machine ran from side to side, dashing first -into one hedge, then the other, the brushes -flung up mud in all directions. Eves and -O'Reilly were splashed from head to foot, -but the full effect of this outrageous behaviour -of the road-sweeper was felt by Noakes and -the councillors immediately behind him. -They had sought safety by backing into the -hedge opposite to that at which the machine -appeared to be charging as it approached -them. Unhappily for them, it suddenly -altered its direction, passed within a few -inches of their shrinking forms, and covered -them with a deluge of liquid mud. There -was a crash as the bottle of cider fell and -splintered into fragments, and loud cries -of alarm and objurgation from the -bespattered victims.</span></p> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 77%" id="figure-130"> -<span id="covered-them-with-a-deluge-of-liquid-mud"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt=""COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD."" src="images/img-257.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">"COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD."</span></div> -</div> -<p class="pnext"><span>The incident occupied barely half a minute. -Templeton recovered himself, stopped his -engine, rammed on his brakes, and, least -bemired of all the actors, got down to make -his apologies. Eves and O'Reilly by this -time were shaking with laughter. Noakes, -seeing that the machine had come to a stop, -approached the contrite driver with uplifted -fist, too irate even to speak. He had tried -to rub the splashes of mud from his cheeks, -with the result that he had only spread them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am really very sorry, Mr. Noakes," said -Templeton. "I was trying a new invention, -and I can't say how much I regret——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Od rabbit you and your inventions," -roared Noakes. "You did it o' purpose, you -viper. I'll have you up, I will, for creating -a nuisance——"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Driving to the danger of the public, be -jowned to 'em," put in a councillor who had -suffered scarcely less than the mayor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ay, the danger of the public and bodily -injury to the mayor," cried Noakes. "No -option of a fine, neither; you'll go to jail, -sure as my name be Philemon Noakes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Come, come, now," said O'Reilly, thinking -it time to intervene. "Sure, any one -could see it was nothing but an accident that -might have happened to the Lord Mayor -of Dublin himself. You gentlemen have -got splashed; faith, so have I. Look at -me! The right way to look at it is that we're -all suffering in a good cause—martyrs of -science, and I wouldn't say but we've got -off lightly."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's summat in that, Neighbour -Noakes," said a councillor who, being at the -rear of the procession, had not come within -range of the rotating brushes. "Ay, what I -say is, these young fellers what have served -their country want to be encouraged, and if -so be a little mud flies—why, there 'tis; it -will brush off, and 'tis all one."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There'll be no 'nointing to-day, that's -certain," said another. "Seems to me we'd -best all go home along before they get wind -of it in the meadow up yonder. None of us -wants a crowd ramping round and admiring -of our muddy faces. The old stone won't -hurt for want of its drop o' liquor for once."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's true," added a third. "And as -for speeches—well, speaking as man to man, -speeches are a weariness of the flesh to me. -Let's go home along, neighbours, and drink a -drop o' something hot, with our toes on the fire."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The suggestion won favour with the -majority, and Noakes, irritably conscious of -his unseemly appearance, allowed himself -to be escorted towards the town. A few of -the more curious waited to see what further -antics the road-sweeper performed. But -they were disappointed. A brief examination -of the mechanism revealed to Templeton -the cause of his failure. He made certain -adjustments which enabled him to drive -the machine home at a moderate pace, and -without further experiments with the reversible -steering. Eves and O'Reilly followed, -prudently, in the cab.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My hat, what a rag!" said Eves to his -companion on the way. "But I'm afraid -old Bob has come a cropper, poor old boy! -It's not the first time; but I'll say this for -him, he always comes up smiling."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And he'll smile to a good tune if I don't -be mistaken," said O'Reilly. "He's got hold -of a good idea, and with the help of an -engineer friend of mine he'll make something -of it. I'll see to that."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The next week's local paper contained a -copious but by no means a wholly accurate -account of the incident. The deplorable -appearance of the mayor was described, -however, with excessive particularity. Unkindest -cut of all, the editor pointed the moral:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"We have already more than once drawn -the attention of the mayor and corporation -to the disgracefully muddy state of our roads -in winter-time. Now that our civic worthies -have suffered in their own persons, and the -town has been deprived for the first time in a -hundred and forty years of its ancient and -time-honoured ceremony, perhaps something -will be done, or are we to wait until the present -mayor's tenure of office has expired?"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>A few months later Eves received from -Templeton a long letter which gave him a -good deal of pleasure. Templeton related -that his invention, tested under more favourable -conditions, had more than fulfilled his -hopes. O'Reilly was enthusiastic about it, -and had arranged to set up a small factory -for him. But almost as agreeable was the -news about the Mayor of Pudlington:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"Noakes was never popular," Templeton -wrote, "and the sorry figure he cut in certain -episodes we know of brought him into ridicule, -which is always fatal. It began to be -whispered, too, that there was something shady -in his transactions over contracts and -canteens, and what not. Anyhow, one fine -day he disappeared, and I hear that there are -warrants out against him. I'm not vindictive, -but I can't say I shall be sorry if he -is caught."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"Just like old Bob," said Eves to himself. -He sat down to dash off a reply:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>"I'm jolly glad, old man. 'There is a tide,' -etc. (Shakespeare). I always said you'd make -your fortune, though I must own I never -thought it would be through a mad -road-sweeper. I'm going to be demobbed after -all, so I'll take on your advertising stunt -as soon as you like. As to Noakes, I don't -care whether he's caught or not. He was -always a glorious rag, and I rather fancy he -more or less inspired some of your bright ideas."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">THE END</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics small">Printed by</em><span class="small"> -<br />MORRISON & GIBB LIMITED -<br /></span><em class="italics small">Edinburgh</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span>* * * * * * * *</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">HERBERT STRANG</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold medium">COMPLETE LIST OF STORIES</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>ADVENTURES OF DICK TREVANION, THE -<br />ADVENTURES OF HARRY ROCHESTER, THE -<br />A GENTLEMAN AT ARMS -<br />A HERO OF LIÉGE -<br />AIR PATROL, THE -<br />AIR SCOUT, THE -<br />BARCLAY OF THE GUIDES -<br />BLUE RAIDER, THE -<br />BOYS OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE -<br />BRIGHT IDEAS -<br />BROWN OF MOUKDEN -<br />BURTON OF THE FLYING CORPS -<br />CARRY ON -<br />CRUISE OF THE GYRO-CAR, THE -<br />FIGHTING WITH FRENCH -<br />FLYING BOAT, THE -<br />FRANK FORESTER -<br />HUMPHREY BOLD -<br />JACK HARDY -<br />KING OF THE AIR -<br />KOBO -<br />LONG TRAIL, THE -<br />LORD OF THE SEAS -<br />MOTOR SCOUT, THE -<br />OLD MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE -<br />ONE OF CLIVE'S HEROES -<br />PALM TREE ISLAND -<br />ROB THE RANGER -<br />ROUND THE WORLD IN SEVEN DAYS -<br />SAMBA -<br />SETTLERS AND SCOUTS -<br />SULTAN JIM -<br />SWIFT AND SURE -<br />THROUGH THE ENEMY'S LINES -<br />TOM BURNABY -<br />TOM WILLOUGHBY'S SCOUTS -<br />WITH DRAKE ON THE SPANISH MAIN -<br />WITH HAIG ON THE SOMME</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 6em"> -</div> -<!-- -*- encoding: utf-8 -*- --> -<div class="backmatter"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst" id="pg-end-line"><span>*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK </span><span>BRIGHT IDEAS</span><span> ***</span></p> -<div class="cleardoublepage"> -</div> -<div class="language-en level-2 pgfooter section" id="a-word-from-project-gutenberg" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> -<span id="pg-footer"></span><h2 class="level-2 pfirst section-title title"><span>A Word from Project Gutenberg</span></h2> -<p class="pfirst"><span>We will update this book if we find any errors.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This book can be found under: </span><a class="reference external" href="http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/43234"><span>http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/43234</span></a></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one -owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and -you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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