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diff --git a/42948-8.txt b/42948-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index eeeced7..0000000 --- a/42948-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1471 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Coaches and Coaching, by Leigh Hunt - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Coaches and Coaching - -Author: Leigh Hunt - -Illustrator: Paul Hardy - -Release Date: June 15, 2013 [EBook #42948] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COACHES AND COACHING *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - - -COACHES AND COACHING - - - - - BOOK love, my friends, is your pass to the greatest, - the purest, and the most perfect pleasure that God has - prepared for His creatures. It lasts when all other - pleasures fade. It will support you when all other - recreations are gone. It will last you until your - death. It will make your hours pleasant to you as long - as you live. - - ANTHONY TROLLOPE. - -[Illustration: A MAIL-COACH PAUL HARDY] - - - - -[Illustration: - -_Leigh Hunt_ - -COACHES - -AND - -COACHING - - Embellished - with pictures by - PAUL HARDY - - - H. M. CALDWELL CO. - BOSTON] - - - - -[Illustration: COACHES AND COACHING] - - -ACCORDING to the opinion commonly entertained respecting an author's -want of riches, it may be allowed us to say that we retain from -childhood a considerable notion of "a ride in a coach." Nor do we -hesitate to confess, that by coach we especially mean a hired one; from -the equivocal dignity of the post-chaise, down to that despised old -castaway, the hackney. - -It is true that the carriage, as it is indifferently called (as if -nothing less genteel could carry any one), is a more decided thing than -the chaise; it may be swifter even than the mail, leaves the stage at a -still greater distance in every respect, and (forgetting what it may -come to itself) darts by the poor old lumbering hackney with -immeasureable contempt. - -It rolls with a prouder ease than any other vehicle. It is full of -cushions and comfort; elegantly coloured inside and out; rich, yet neat; -light and rapid, yet substantial. The horses seem proud to draw it. The -fat and fair-wigged coachman "lends his sounding lash," his arm only in -action and that but little, his body well set with its own weight. - -The footman, in the pride of his nonchalance, holding by the straps -behind, and glancing down sideways betwixt his cocked-hat and neckcloth, -stands swinging from east to west upon his springy toes. - -The horses rush along amidst their glancing harness. Spotted dogs leap -about them, barking with a princely superfluity of noise. The -hammer-cloth trembles through all its fringe. The paint flashes in the -sun. - -We, contemptuous of everything less convenient, bow backwards and -forwards with a certain indifferent air of gentility, infinitely -predominant. - -Suddenly, with a happy mixture of turbulence and truth, the carriage -dashes up by the curb-stone to the very point desired, and stops with a -lordly wilfulness of decision. The coachman looks as if nothing had -happened. The footman is down in an instant; the knocker reverberates -into the farthest corner of the house; doors, both carriage and house, -are open;--we descend, casting a matter-of-course eye at the bystanders; -and the moment we touch the pavement, the vehicle, as if conscious of -what it has carried, and relieved from the weight of our importance, -recovers from its sidelong inclination with a jerk, tossing and panting, -as it were, for very breath, like the proud heads of the horses. - -All this, it must be owned, is very pretty; but it is also gouty and -superfluous. It is too convenient,--too exacting,--too exclusive. We -must get too much for it, and lose too much by it. Its plenty, as Ovid -says, makes us poor. We neither have it in the republic of letters, nor -would desire it in any less jacobinical state. Horses, as many as you -please, provided men have enough to eat; hired coaches, a reasonable -number:--but health and good-humour at all events. - -Gigs and curricles are things less objectionable, because they cannot be -so relied upon as substitutes for exercise. Our taste in them, we must -confess, is not genuine. How shall we own it? We like to be driven, -instead of drive;--to read or look about us, instead of keeping watch on -a horse's head. We have no relish even for vehicles of this description -that are not safe. Danger is a good thing for giving a fillip to a man's -ideas; but even danger, to us, must come recommended by something -useful. We have no ambition to have TANDEM written on our tombstone. - -The prettiest of these vehicles is the curricle, which is also the -safest. There is something worth looking at in the pair of horses, with -that sparkling pole of steel laid across them. It is like a bar of -music, comprising their harmonious course. - -But to us, even gigs are but a sort of unsuccessful run at gentility. -The driver, to all intents and purposes, had better be on the horse. -Horseback is the noblest way of being carried in the world. It is -cheaper than any other mode of riding; it is common to all ranks; and it -is manly, graceful, and healthy. The handsomest mixture of danger with -dignity, in the shape of a carriage, was the tall phaeton with its -yellow wings. We remember looking up to it with respect in our -childhood, partly for its loftiness, partly for its name, and partly for -the show it makes in the prints to novels of that period. The most -gallant figure which modern driving ever cut was in the person of a late -Duke of Hamilton; of whom we have read or heard somewhere, that he used -to dash round the streets of Rome, with his horses panting, and his -hounds barking about his phaeton, to the equal fright and admiration of -the Masters of the World, who were accustomed to witness nothing higher -than a lumbering old coach, or a cardinal on a mule. - -A post-chaise involves the idea of travelling, which in the company of -those we love is home in motion. The smooth running along the road, the -fresh air, the variety of scene, the leafy roads, the bursting -prospects, the clatter through a town, the gaping gaze of a village, the -hearty appetite, the leisure (your chaise waiting only upon your own -movements), even the little contradictions to home-comfort, and the -expedients upon which they set us, all put the animal spirits at work, -and throw a novelty over the road of life. - -If anything could grind us young again, it would be the wheels of a -post-chaise. The only monotonous sight is the perpetual up-and-down -movement of the postillion, who, we wish exceedingly, could take a -chair. His occasional retreat to the bar which occupies the place of a -box, and his affecting to sit upon it, only remind us of its exquisite -want of accommodation. But some have given the bar, lately, a -surreptitious squeeze in the middle, and flattened it a little into -something obliquely resembling an inconvenient seat. - -If we are to believe the merry Columbus of Down-Hall, calashes, now -almost obsolete for any purpose, used to be hired for travelling -occasions a hundred years back; but he preferred a chariot; and neither -was good. Yet see how pleasantly good humour rides over its -inconveniences. - - Then answer'd 'Squire Morley, "Pray get a calash, - That in summer may burn, and in winter may splash; - I love dirt and dust; and 'tis always my pleasure - To take with me much of the soil that I measure." - - But Matthew thought better; for Matthew thought right, - And hired a chariot so trim and so tight, - That extremes both of winter and summer might pass; - For one window was canvas, the other was glass. - - "Draw up," quoth friend Matthew; "Pull down," quoth friend John; - "We shall be both hotter and colder anon." - Thus, talking and scolding, they forward did speed; - And Ralpho paced by under Newman the Swede. - - Into an old inn did this equipage roll, - At a town they call Hodson, the sign of the Bull; - Near a nymph with an urn that divides the highway, - And into a puddle throws mother of tea. - - "Come here, my sweet landlady, pray how d'ye do? - Where is Cicely so cleanly, and Prudence, and Sue? - And where is the widow that dwelt here below? - And the hostler that sung about eight years ago? - - And where is your sister, so mild and so dear, - Whose voice to her maids like a trumpet was clear?" - "By my troth," she replies, "you grow younger, I think: - And pray, sir, what wine does the gentleman drink? - - "Why now let me die, sir, or live upon trust, - If I know to which question to answer you first: - Why, things, since I saw you, most strangely have varied; - The hostler is hang'd, and the widow is married. - - "And Prue left a child for the parish to nurse, - And Cicely went off with a gentleman's purse; - And as to my sister, so mild and so dear, - She has lain in the churchyard full many a year." - - "Well; peace to her ashes! What signifies grief? - She roasted red veal, and she powder'd lean beef: - Full nicely she knew to cook up a fine dish; - For tough were her pullets, and tender her fish." - PRIOR. - -This quotation reminds us of a little poem by the same author, entitled -the _Secretary_, which, as it is short, and runs upon chaise-wheels, and -seems to have slipped the notice it deserves, we will do ourselves the -pleasure of adding. It was written when he was Secretary of Embassy at -the Hague, where he seems to have edified the Dutch with his insisting -upon enjoying himself. The astonishment with which the good Hollander -and his wife look up to him as he rides, and the touch of yawning -dialect at the end, are extremely pleasant. - - "While with labour assiduous due pleasure I mix, - And in one day atone for the business of six, - In a little Dutch chaise on a Saturday night, - On my left hand my Horace, a nymph on my right: - No Memoirs to compose, and no Post-boy to move, - That on Sunday may hinder the softness of love; - For her, neither visits, nor parties at tea, - Nor the long-winded cant of a dull Refugee: - This night and the next shall be hers, shall be mine,-- - To good or ill-fortune the third we resign: - Thus scorning the world and superior to fate, - I drive on my car in processional state. - So with Phia through Athens Pisistratus rode; - Men thought her Minerva, and him a new god. - But why should I stories of Athens rehearse, - Where people knew love, and were partial to verse? - Since none can with justice my pleasures oppose, - In Holland half drowned in interest and prose? - By Greece and past ages what need I be tried, - When the Hague and the present are both on my side? - And is it enough for the joys of the day, - To think what Anacreon or Sappho would say? - When good Vandergoes, and his provident _vrow_, - As they gaze on my triumph, do freely allow, - That, search all the province, you'll find no man _dàr_ is - So blest as the _Englishen Heer Secre ar'_ is." - -If Prior had been living now he would have found the greatest want of -travelling accommodation in a country for whose more serious wants we -have to answer, without having her wit to help us to an excuse. There is -a story told of an Irish post-chaise, the occupier of which, without -quitting it, had to take to his heels. It was going down hill as fast as -wind and the impossibility of stopping could make it, when the foot -passengers observed a couple of legs underneath, emulating, with all -their might, the rapidity of the wheels. The bottom had come out; and -the gentleman was obliged to run for his life. - -We must relate another anecdote of an Irish post-chaise, merely to show -the natural tendencies of the people to be lawless in self-defence. A -friend of ours, who was travelling among them, used to have this -proposition put to him by the postillion whenever he approached a -turnpike--"Plase your honour, will I drive at the pike?" The pike hung -loosely across the road. Luckily, the rider happened to be of as lawless -a turn for justice as the driver, so the answer was always a cordial -one--"Oh yes--drive at the pike." The pike made way accordingly; and in -a minute or two the gate people were heard and seen, screaming in vain -after the illegal charioteers. - - "Fertur equis auriga, neque audit currus." - VIRGIL. - - "The driver's borne beyond their swearing, - And the post-chaise is hard of hearing." - -As to following them, nobody in Ireland thinks of moving too much, legal -or illegal. - -The pleasure to be had in a mail-coach is not so much at one's command -as that in a post-chaise. There is generally too little room in it, and -too much hurry out of it. The company must not lounge over their -breakfast, even if they are all agreed. It is an understood thing that -they are to be uncomfortably punctual. They must get in at seven -o'clock, though they are all going upon business they do not like or -care about, or will have to wait till nine before they can do anything. -Some persons know how to manage this haste, and breakfast and dine in -the cracking of a whip. They stick with their fork, they joint, they -sliver, they bolt. Legs and wings vanish before them like a dragon's -before a knight-errant. But if one is not a clergyman or a regular jolly -fellow, one has no chance this way. To be diffident or polite is fatal. -It is a merit eagerly acknowledged, and as quickly set aside. At last -you begin upon a leg, and are called off. - -A very troublesome degree of science is necessary for being well settled -in the coach. We remember travelling in our youth, upon the north road, -with an orthodox elderly gentleman of venerable peruke, who talked much -with a grave-looking young man about universities, and won our -inexperienced heart with a notion that he was deep in Horace and Virgil. -He was deeper in his wig. - -Towards evening, as he seemed restless, we asked with much diffidence -whether a change, even for the worse, might not relieve him; for we were -riding backwards, and thought that all elderly people disliked that way. -He insinuated the very objection; so we recoiled from asking him again. - -In a minute or two, however, he insisted that we were uneasy ourselves, -and that he must relieve us for our own sake. We protested as filially -as possible against this; but at last, out of mere shame of disputing -the point with so benevolent an elder, we changed seats with him. - -[Illustration: The Post-Chaise] - -After an interval of bland meditation, we found the evening sun full in -our face. His new comfort set him dozing; and every now and then he -jerked his wig in our eyes, till we had the pleasure of seeing him take -out a nightcap and look very ghastly. The same person, and his -serious young companion, tricked us out of a good bed we happened to get -at the inn. - -The greatest peculiarity attending a mail-coach arises from its -travelling at night. The gradual decline of talk, the incipient snore, -the rustling and shifting of legs and nightcaps, the cessation of other -noises on the road--the sound of the wind or rain, of the moist circuit -of the wheels, and of the time-beating tread of the horses--all dispose -the traveller, who cannot sleep, to a double sense of the little that is -left him to observe. - -The coach stops, the door opens, a rush of cold air announces the -demands and merits of the guard, who is taking his leave, and is anxious -to remember us. The door is clapped to again; the sound of everything -outside becomes dim; and voices are heard knocking up the people of the -inn, and answered by issuing yawns and excuses. Wooden shoes clog -heavily about. The horses' mouths are heard, swilling the water out of -tubs. All is still again, and some one in the coach takes a long -breath. The driver mounts, and we resume our way. - -It happens that we can sleep anywhere except in a mail-coach; so that we -hate to see a prudent, warm, old fellow, who has been eating our fowls -and intercepting our toast, put on his night-cap in order to settle -himself till morning. We rejoice in the digs that his neighbour's elbow -gives him, and hail the long-legged traveller that sits opposite. - -A passenger of our wakeful description must try to content himself with -listening to the sounds above mentioned; or thinking of his friends; or -turning verses, as Sir Richard Blackmore did, "to the rumbling of his -coach's wheels." - -The stage-coach is a great and unpretending accommodation. It is a cheap -substitute, notwithstanding all its eighteen-penny and two-and-sixpenny -temptations, for keeping a carriage or a horse; and we really think, in -spite of its gossiping, is no mean help to village liberality; for its -passengers are so mixed, so often varied, so little yet so much -together, so compelled to accommodate, so willing to pass a short time -pleasantly, and so liable to the criticism of strangers, that it is hard -if they do not get a habit of speaking, or even thinking more kindly of -one another than if they mingled less often, or under other -circumstances. - -The old and infirm are treated with reverence; the ailing sympathised -with; the healthy congratulated; the rich not distinguished; the poor -well met; the young, with their faces conscious of ride, patronised, and -allowed to be extra. - -Even the fiery, nay the fat, learn to bear with each other; and if some -high-thoughted persons will talk now and then of their great -acquaintances, or their preference of a carriage, there is an instinct -which tells the rest that they would not make such appeals to their good -opinion if they valued it so little as might be supposed. Stoppings and -dust are not pleasant, but the latter may be had on grander occasions; -and if anyone is so unlucky as never to keep another stopping himself, -he must be content with the superiority of his virtue. - -The mail or stage-coachman, upon the whole, is no inhuman mass of -great-coat, gruffness, civility, and old boots. The latter is the -politer, from the smaller range of acquaintance, and his necessity for -preserving them. - -His face is red, and his voice rough, by the same process of drink and -catarrh. He has a silver watch with a steel-chain, and plenty of loose -silver in his pocket, mixed with half-pence. He serves the houses he -goes by for a clock. He takes a glass at every alehouse; for thirst, -when it is dry, and for warmth when it is wet. - -He likes to show the judicious reach of his whip, by twigging a dog or a -goose on the road, or children that get in the way. His tenderness to -descending old ladies is particular. He touches his hat to Mr. Smith. He -gives "the young woman" a ride, and lends her his box-coat in the rain. -His liberality in imparting his knowledge to any one that has the good -fortune to ride on the box with him is a happy mixture of deference, -conscious possession, and familiarity. His information chiefly lies in -the occupancy of houses on the road, prize-fighters, Bow Street runners, -and accidents. - -He concludes that you know Dick Sams, or Old Joey, and proceeds to -relate some of the stories that relish his pot and tobacco in the -evening. If any of the four-in-hand gentry go by, he shakes his head, -and thinks they might find something better to do. His contempt for them -is founded on modesty. - -He tells you that his off-hand horse is as pretty a goer as ever was, -but that Kitty--"Yeah, now there, Kitty, can't you be still? Kitty's a -devil, sir, for all you wouldn't think it." He knows that the boys on -the road admire him, and gives the horses an indifferent lash with his -whip as they go by. If you wish to know what rain and dust can do, you -should look at his old hat. There is an indescribably placid and -paternal look in the position of his corduroy knees and old top-boots on -the foot-board, with their pointed toes and never-cleaned soles. His -_beau-idéal_ of appearance is a frock-coat, with mother-o'-pearl -buttons, a striped yellow waistcoat, and a flower in his mouth. - - "But all our praises why for Charles and Robert? - Rise, honest Mews, and sing the classic Bobart." - -Is the quadrijugal virtue of that learned person still extant? That -Olympic and Baccalaureated charioteer?--That best educated and most -erudite of coachmen, of whom Dominie Sampson is alone worthy to speak? -That singular punning and driving commentary on the _Sunt quos curriculo -collegisse_? In short, the worthy and agreeable Mr. Bobart, Bachelor of -Arts, who drove the Oxford stage some years ago, capped verses and the -front of his hat with equal dexterity, and read Horace over his -brandy-and-water of an evening. - -We had once the pleasure of being beaten by him in that capital art, he -having brought up against us an unusual number of those cross-armed -letters, as puzzling to verse-cappers as iron-cats unto cavalry, ycleped -X's; which said warfare he was pleased to call to mind in after times, -unto divers of our comrades. - -The modest and natural greatness with which he used to say "Yait" to his -horses, and then turn round with his rosy gills, and an eye like a fish, -and give out the required verse, can never pass away from us, as long as -verses or horses run. - -Of the hackney-coach we cannot make as short work as many persons like -to make of it in reality. Perhaps it is partly a sense of the contempt -it undergoes, which induces us to endeavour to make the best of it. But -it has its merits, as we shall show presently. In the account of its -demerits we have been anticipated by a new, and we are sorry to say a -very good, poetess, of the name of Lucy V---- L----, who has favoured us -with a sight of a manuscript poem, in which they are related with great -nicety and sensitiveness. - -_Reader._ What, sir, sorry to say that a lady is a good poetess? - -_Indicator._ Only inasmuch, madam, as the lady gives such authority to -the anti-social view of this subject, and will not agree with us as to -the beatitude of the hackney-coach.--But hold:--upon turning to the -manuscript again, we find that the objections are put into the mouth of -a dandy courtier. This makes a great difference. The hackney resumes all -which it had lost in the good graces of the fair authoress. The only -wonder is, how the courtier could talk so well. Here is the passage:-- - - "Eban, untempted by the Pastry-cooks - (Of Pastry he got store within the Palace), - With hasty steps, wrapp'd cloak, and solemn looks, - Incognito upon his errand sallies; - His smelling-bottle ready for the alleys; - He pass'd the Hurdy-gurdies with disdain, - Vowing he'd have them sent on board the galleys: - Just as he made his vow, it 'gan to rain, - Therefore he call'd a coach, and bade it drive amain. - - 'I'll pull the string,' said he, and further said, - 'Polluted Jarvey! Ah, thou filthy hack! - Whose strings of life are all dried up and dead, - Whose linsey-wolsey lining hangs all slack, - Whose rug is straw, whose wholeness is a crack; - And evermore thy steps go clatter-clitter; - Whose glass once up can never be got back, - Who prov'st, with jolting arguments and bitter, - That 'tis of vile no-use to travel in a litter. - - 'Thou inconvenience! thou hungry crop - For all corn! thou snail creeper to and fro, - Who while thou goest ever seem'st to stop, - And fiddle-faddle standest while you go; - I' the morning, freighted with a weight of woe, - Unto some Lazar-house thou journiest, - And in the evening tak'st a double row - Of dowdies, for some dance or party drest, - Besides the goods meanwhile thou movest east and west. - - 'By thy ungallant bearing and sad mien, - An inch appears the utmost thou couldst budge; - Yet at the slightest nod, or hint, or sign, - Round to the curb-stone patient dost thou trudge, - School'd in a beckon, learned in a nudge; - A dull-eyed Argus watching for a fare; - Quiet and plodding, thou dost bear no grudge - To whisking Tilburies or Phaetons rare, - Curricles, or Mail-coaches, swift beyond compare.' - - Philosophising thus, he pull'd the check, - And bade the coachman wheel to such a street; - Who turning much his body, more his neck, - Louted full low, and hoarsely did him greet." - -The tact here is so nice of the infirmities which are but too likely to -beset our poor old friend, that we should only spoil it to say more. To -pass then to the merits. - -One of the greatest helps to a sense or merit in other things is a -consciousness of one's own wants. Do you despise a hackney-coach? Get -tired; get old; get young again. Lay down your carriage, or make it less -uneasily too easy. Have to stand up half-an-hour, out of a storm, under -a gateway. Be ill, and wish to visit a friend who is worse. Fall in -love, and want to sit next your mistress. Or if all this will not do, -fall in a cellar. - -Ben Jonson, in a fit of indignation at the niggardliness of James the -First, exclaimed, "He despises me, I suppose, because I live in an -alley:--tell him his soul lives in an alley." We think we see a -hackney-coach moving out of its ordinary patience, and hear it say, "You -there, who sit looking so scornfully at me out of your carriage, are -yourself the thing you take me for. Your understanding is a -hackney-coach. It is lumbering, rickety, and at a stand. When it moves -it is drawn by things like itself. It is at once the most stationary and -the most servile of commonplaces. And when a good thing is put into it, -it does not know it." - -But it is difficult to imagine a hackney-coach under so irritable an -aspect. Hogarth has drawn a set of hats or wigs with countenances of -their own. We have noticed the same thing in the faces of houses; and it -sometimes gets in one's way in a landscape-painting, with the outlines -of the rocks and trees. - -A friend tells us that the hackney-coach has its countenance, with -gesticulation besides: and now he has pointed it out, we can easily -fancy it. Some of them look chucked under the chin, some nodding, some -coming at you sideways. We shall never find it easy, however, to fancy -the irritable aspect above-mentioned. - -A hackney-coach always appeared to us the most quiescent of movables. -Its horses and it, slumbering on a stand, are an emblem of all patience -in creation, animate and inanimate. - -The submission with which the coach takes every variety of the weather, -dust, rain, and wind, never moving but when some eddying blast makes its -old body shiver, is only surpassed by the vital patience of the horses. - -Can anything better illustrate the poet's line about - - "--Years that bring the philosophic mind," - -than the still-hung head, the dim indifferent eye, the dragged and -blunt-cornered mouth, and the gaunt imbecility of body dropping its -weight on three tired legs in order to give repose to the lame one? When -it has blinkers on, they seem to be shutting up its eyes for death, like -the windows of a house. Fatigue and the habit of suffering have become -as natural to the creature as the bit to its mouth. - -Once in half-an-hour it moves the position of its leg, or shakes its -drooping ears. The whip makes it go, more from habit than from pain. Its -coat has become almost callous to minor stings. The blind and staggering -fly in autumn might come to die against its cheek. - -Of a pair of hackney-coach horses, one so much resembles the other that -it seems unnecessary for them to compare notes. They have that within -them which is beyond the comparative. They no longer bend their heads -towards each other as they go. They stand together as if unconscious of -one another's company. But they are not. - -An old horse misses his companion, like an old man. The presence of an -associate, who has gone through pain and suffering with us, need not -say anything. It is talk, and memory, and everything. Something of this -it may be to our old friends in harness. What are they thinking of while -they stand motionless in the rain? Do they remember? Do they dream? Do -they still, unperplexed as their old blood is by too many foods, receive -a pleasure from the elements; a dull refreshment from the air and sun? -Have they yet a palate for the hay which they pull so feebly? or for the -rarer grain which induces them to perform their only voluntary gesture -of any vivacity, and toss up the bags that are fastened on their mouths, -to get at its shallow feast? - -If the old horse were gifted with memory (and who shall say he is not, -in one thing as well as another?), it might be at once the most -melancholy and pleasantest faculty he has; for the commonest hack has -probably been a hunter or racer; has had his days of lustre and -enjoyment; has darted along the course, and scoured the pasture; has -carried his master proudly, or his lady gently; has pranced, has -galloped, has neighed aloud, has dared, has forded, has spurned at -mastery, has graced it and made it proud, has rejoiced the eye, has been -crowded to as an actor, has been all instinct with life and quickness, -has had his very fear admired as courage, and been sat upon by valour as -its chosen seat. - - "His ears up-prick'd; his braided hanging mane - Upon his compass'd crest now stands on end; - His nostrils drink the air; and forth again, - As from a furnace, vapours doth he send; - His eye, which scornfully glistens like fire, - Shows his hot courage and his high desire. - - Sometimes he trots as if he told the steps, - With gentle majesty, and modest pride; - Anon he rears upright, curvets and leaps, - As who would say, lo! thus my strength is tried, - And thus I do to captivate the eye - Of the fair breeder that is standing by. - - What recketh he his rider's angry stir, - His flattering holla, or his _Stand, I say_? - What cares he now for curb, or pricking spur? - For rich caparisons, or trappings gay? - He sees his love, and nothing else he sees, - For nothing else with his proud sight agrees. - - Look, when a painter would surpass the life, - In limning out a well-proportion'd steed, - His art with nature's workmanship at strife, - As if the dead the living should exceed; - So did this horse excel a common one, - In shape, in courage, colour, pace, and bone. - - Round-hoof'd, short-jointed, fetlock shag and long, - Broad breast, full eyes, small head, and nostril wide; - High crest, short ears, straight legs, and passing strong; - Thin mane, thick tail, broad buttock, tender hide; - Look, what a horse should have, he did not lack, - Save a proud rider on so proud a back." - -Alas! his only riders now are the rain and a sordid harness. The least -utterance of the wretchedest voice makes him stop and become a fixture. -His loves were in existence at the time the old sign, fifty miles hence, -was painted. His nostrils drink nothing but what they cannot help--the -water out of an old tub. Not all the hounds in the world could make his -ears attain any eminence. His mane is scratchy and lax. The same great -poet who wrote the triumphal verses for him and his loves, has written -their living epitaph:-- - - "The poor jades - Lob down their heads, dropping the hide and hips, - The gum down roping from their pale dead eyes; - And in their pale dull mouths the gimmal bit - Lies foul with chew'd grass, still and motionless." - _K. Henry V, Act 1._ - -There is a song called the "High-mettled Racer," describing the progress -of a favourite horse's life, from its time of vigour and glory, down to -its furnishing food for the dogs. It is not as good as Shakespeare; but -it will do to those who are half as kind as he. - -We defy anybody to read that song, or be in the habit of singing it or -hearing it sung, and treat horses as they are sometimes treated. So much -good may an author do, who is in earnest, and does not go in a pedantic -way to work. - -We will not say that Plutarch's good-natured observation about taking -care of one's old horse did more for that class of retired servants than -all the graver lessons of philosophy. For it is philosophy which first -sets people thinking; and then some of them put it in a more popular -shape. But we will venture to say that Plutarch's observation saved many -a steed of antiquity a superfluous thump; and in this respect the author -of the "High-mettled Racer" (Mr. Dibdin we believe, no mean man in his -way) may stand by the side of the old illustrious biographer. - -Next to ancient causes, to the inevitable progress of events, and to the -practical part of Christianity (which persons, the most accused of -irreligion, have preserved like a glorious infant, through ages of blood -and fire) the kindliness of modern philosophy is more immediately owing -to the great national writers of Europe, in whose schools we have all -been children:--to Voltaire in France, and Shakespeare in England. -Shakespeare, in his time, obliquely pleaded the cause of the Jew, and -got him set on a common level with humanity. The Jew has since been not -only allowed to be human, but some have undertaken to show him as the -"best good Christian though he knows it not." - -We shall not dispute the title with him, nor with the other worshippers -of Mammon, who force him to the same shrine. We allow, as things go in -that quarter, that the Jew is as great a Christian as his neighbour, and -his neighbour as great a Jew as he. There is neither love nor money lost -between them. - -But, at all events, the Jew is a man; and with Shakespeare's assistance -the time has arrived when we can afford to acknowledge the horse for a -fellow-creature, and treat him as one. We may say for him, upon the same -grounds and to the same purpose, as Shakespeare said for the Israelite, -"Hath not a horse organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? hurt -with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same -means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian -is?" Oh--but some are always at hand to cry out--it would be effeminate -to think too much of these things!--Alas! we have no notion of asking -the gentlemen to think too much of anything. If they will think at all, -it will be a great gain. - -As to effeminacy (if we must use that ungallant and partial word, for -want of a better) it is cruelty that is effeminate. It is selfishness -that is effeminate. Anything is effeminate which would get an -excitement, or save a proper and manly trouble, at the undue expense of -another. How does the case stand then between those who ill-treat their -horses and those who spare them? - -[Illustration: THE STAGE-COACH DRIVER] - -To return to the coach. Imagine a fine coach and pair, which are -standing at the door of a house, in all the pride of their strength and -beauty, converted into what they may both become, a hackney, and its old -shamblers. Such is one of the meditations of the philosophic -eighteen-penny rider. A hackney-coach has often the arms of nobility -on it. As we are going to get into it we catch a glimpse of the faded -lustre of an earl's or marquis's coronet, and think how many light and -proud hearts have ascended those now rickety steps. - -In this coach perhaps an elderly lady once rode to her wedding, a -blooming and blushing girl. Her mother and sister were on each side of -her; the bridegroom opposite in a blossom-coloured coat. They talk of -everything in the world of which they are not thinking. The sister was -never prouder of her. The mother with difficulty represses her own pride -and tears. The bride, thinking he is looking at her, casts down her -eyes, pensive in her joy. - -The bridegroom is at once the proudest, and the humblest, and the -happiest man in the world. For our parts, we sit in a corner, and are in -love with the sister. We dream she is going to speak to us in answer to -some indifferent question, when a hoarse voice comes in at the front -window and says, "Whereabouts, sir?" - -And grief has consecrated thee, thou reverend dilapidation, as well as -joy! Thou hast carried unwilling as well as willing hearts; hearts that -have thought the slowest of thy paces too fast; faces that have sat back -in a corner of thee, to hide their tears from the very thought of being -seen. - -In thee the destitute have been taken to the poor-house, and the wounded -and sick to the hospital; and many an arm has been round many an -insensible waist. Into thee the friend or the lover has hurried, in a -passion of tears, to lament his loss. - -In thee he has hastened to condole the dying or the wretched. In thee -the father, or mother, or the older kinswoman, more patient in her -years, has taken the little child to the grave, the human jewel that -must be parted with. - -But joy appears in thee again, like the look-in of the sunshine. If the -lover has gone in thee unwillingly, he has also gone willingly. How many -friends hast thou not carried to merry-meetings! How many young parties -to the play! How many children, whose faces thou hast turned in an -instant from the extremity of lachrymose weariness to that of staring -delight. - -Thou hast contained as many different passions in thee as a human heart; -and for the sake of the human heart, old body, thou art venerable. Thou -shalt be as respectable as a reduced old gentleman, whose very -slovenliness is pathetic. Thou shalt be made gay, as he is over a -younger and richer table, and thou shalt be still more touching for the -gaiety. - -We wish the hackney-coachman were as interesting a machine as either his -coach or horses; but it must be owned, that of all the driving species -he is the least agreeable specimen. This is partly to be attributed to -the life which has most probably put him into his situation; partly to -his want of outside passengers to cultivate his gentility; and partly to -the disputable nature of his fare, which always leads him to be lying -and cheating. The waterman of the stand, who beats him in sordidness of -appearance, is more respectable. He is less of a vagabond, and cannot -cheat you. - -Nor is the hackney-coachman only disagreeable in himself, but, like -Falstaff reversed, the cause of disagreeableness in others; for he sets -people upon disputing with him in pettiness and ill-temper. He induces -the mercenary to be violent, and the violent to seem mercenary. A man -whom you took for a pleasant, laughing fellow, shall all of a sudden put -on an irritable look of calculation, and vow that he will be charged -with a constable rather than pay the sixpence. - -Even fair woman shall waive her all-conquering softness, and sound a -shrill trumpet in reprobation of the extortionate charioteer, whom, if -she were a man, she says, she would expose. Being a woman, then, let her -not expose herself. Oh, but it is intolerable to be so imposed upon! Let -the lady, then, get a pocket-book, if she must, with the hackney-coach -fares in it; or a pain in the legs, rather than the temper; or, above -all, let her get wiser, and have an understanding that can dispense with -the good opinion of the hackney-coachman. Does she think that her rosy -lips were made to grow pale about two-and-sixpence; or that the -expression of them will ever be like her cousin Fanny's if she goes on? - -The stage-coachman likes the boys on the road, because he knows they -admire him. The hackney-coachman knows that they cannot admire him, and -that they can get up behind his coach, which makes him very savage. - -The cry of "Cut behind!" from the malicious urchins on the pavement -wounds at once his self-love and his interest. He would not mind -overloading his master's horses for another sixpence, but to do it for -nothing is what shocks his humanity. He hates the boy for imposing upon -him, and the boys for reminding him that he has been imposed upon; and -he would willingly twinge the cheeks of all nine. The cut of his whip -over the coach is malignant. - -He has a constant eye to the road behind him. He has also an eye to what -may be left in the coach. He will undertake to search the straw for you, -and miss the half-crown on purpose. He speculates on what he may get -above his fare, according to your manners or company; and knows how much -to ask for driving faster or slower than usual. - -He does not like wet weather so much as people suppose; for he says it -rots both his horses and harness, and he takes parties out of town when -the weather is fine, which produces good payments in a lump. - -Lovers, late supper-eaters, and girls going home from boarding-school, -are his best pay. He has a rascally air of remonstrance when you dispute -half the overcharge, and according to the temper he is in, begs you to -consider his bread, hopes you will not make such a fuss about a trifle; -or tells you, you may take his number or sit in the coach all night. - -A great number of ridiculous adventures must have taken place in which -hackney-coaches were concerned. The story of the celebrated harlequin -Lunn, who secretly pitched himself out of one into a tavern window, and -when the coachman was about to submit to the loss of his fare, -astonished him by calling out again from the inside, is too well known -for repetition. - -There is one of Swift, not perhaps so common. He was going, one dark -evening, to dine with some great man, and was accompanied by some other -clergymen, to whom he gave their cue. They were all in their canonicals. -When they arrive at the house, the coachman opens the door, and lets -down the steps. Down steps the Dean, very reverend in his black robes; -after him comes another personage, equally black and dignified; then -another; then a fourth. The coachman, who recollects taking up no -greater number, is about to put up the steps, when another clergyman -descends. After giving way to this other, he proceeds with great -confidence to toss them up, when lo! another comes. Well, there cannot, -he thinks, be more than six. He is mistaken. Down comes a seventh, then -an eighth; then a ninth; all with decent intervals; the coach, in the -meantime, rocking as if it were giving birth to so many demons. The -coachman can conclude no less. He cries out, "The devil! the devil!" and -is preparing to run away, when they all burst into laughter. They had -gone round as they descended, and got in at the other door. - -We remember in our boyhood an edifying comment on the proverb of "all is -not gold that glistens." The spectacle made such an impression upon us, -that we recollect the very spot, which was at the corner of a road in -the way from Westminster to Kennington, near a stonemason's. It was a -severe winter, and we were out on a holiday, thinking, perhaps, of the -gallant hardships to which the ancient soldiers accustomed themselves, -when we suddenly beheld a group of hackney-coachmen, not, as Spenser -says of his witch, - - "Busy, as _seemed_, about some wicked gin," - -but pledging each other in what appeared to us to be little glasses of -cold water. What temperance, thought we! What extraordinary and noble -content! What more than Roman simplicity! Here are a set of poor -Englishmen, of the homeliest order, in the very depth of winter, -quenching their patient and honourable thirst with modicums of cold -water! O true virtue and courage! O sight worthy of the Timoleons and -Epaminondases! We know not how long we remained in this error; but the -first time we recognised the white devil for what it was--the first time -we saw through the crystal purity of its appearance--was a great blow to -us. - -We did not then know what the drinkers went through; and this reminds -us that we have omitted one great redemption of the hackney-coachman's -character--his being at the mercy of all chances and weathers. - -Other drivers have their settled hours and pay. He only is at the mercy -of every call and every casualty; he only is dragged, without notice, -like the damned in Milton, into the extremities of wet and cold, from -his alehouse fire to the freezing rain; he only must go anywhere, at -what hour and to whatever place you choose, his old rheumatic limbs -shaking under his weight of rags, and the snow and sleet beating into -his puckered face, through streets which the wind scours like a -channel. - - - - -NIGHT WATCHMEN - - -THE readers of these our lucubrations need not be informed that we keep -no carriage. The consequence is, that being visitors of the theatre, and -having some inconsiderate friends who grow pleasanter and pleasanter -till one in the morning, we are great walkers home by night; and this -has made us great acquaintances of watchmen, moonlight, _mud_-light, and -other accompaniments of that interesting hour. Luckily we are fond of a -walk by night. It does not always do us good; but that is not the fault -of the hour, but our own, who ought to be stouter; and therefore we -extract what good we can out of our necessity, with becoming temper. It -is a remarkable thing in nature, and one of the good-naturedest things -we know of her, that the mere fact of looking about us, and being -conscious of what is going on, is its own reward, if we do but notice it -in good-humour. Nature is a great painter (and art and society are among -her works), to whose minutest touches the mere fact of becoming alive is -to enrich the stock of our enjoyments. - -We confess there are points liable to cavil in a walk home by night in -February. Old umbrellas have their weak sides; and the quantity of mud -and rain may surmount the picturesque. Mistaking a soft piece of mud for -hard, and so filling your shoe with it, especially at setting out, must -be acknowledged to be "aggravating." But then you ought to have boots. -There are sights, indeed, in the streets of London, which can be -rendered pleasant by no philosophy; things too grave to be talked about -in our present paper; but we must premise, that our walk leads us out of -town, and through streets and suburbs of by no means the worst -description. Even there we may be grieved if we will. The farther the -walk into the country, the more tiresome we may choose to find it; and -when we take it purely to oblige others, we must allow, as in the case -of a friend of ours, that generosity itself on two sick legs may find -limits to the notion of virtue being its own reward, and reasonably -"curse those comfortable people" who, by the lights in their windows, -are getting into their warm beds, and saying to one another, "Bad thing -to be out of doors to-night." - -Supposing, then, that we are in a reasonable state of health and comfort -in other respects, we say that a walk home at night has its merits, if -you choose to meet with them. The worst part of it is the setting out; -the closing of the door upon the kind faces that part with you. But -their words and looks, on the other hand, may set you well off. We have -known a word last us all the way home, and a look make a dream of it. To -a lover, for instance, no walk can be bad. He sees but one face in the -rain and darkness; the same that he saw by the light in the warm room. -This ever accompanies him, looking in his eyes; and if the most pitiable -and spoilt face in the world should come between them, startling him -with the saddest mockery of love, he would treat it kindly for her sake. -But this is a begging of the question. A lover does not walk. He is -sensible neither to the pleasures nor pains of walking. He treads on -air; and in the thick of all that seems inclement has an avenue of light -and velvet spread for him, like a sovereign prince. - -[Illustration: The HACKNEY COACH] - -To resume, then, like men of this world. The advantage of a late hour -is, that everything is silent and the people fast in their beds. This -gives the whole world a tranquil appearance. Inanimate objects are no -calmer than passions and cares now seem to be, all laid asleep. The -human being is motionless as the house or the tree; sorrow is suspended; -and you endeavour to think that love only is awake. Let not readers of -true delicacy be alarmed, for we mean to touch profanely upon nothing -that ought to be sacred; and as we are for thinking the best on these -occasions, it is of the best love we think; love of no heartless order, -and such only as ought to be awake with the stars. - -As to cares and curtain-lectures, and such-like abuses of the -tranquillity of night, we call to mind, for their sakes, all the sayings -of the poets and others about "balmy sleep," and the soothing of hurt -minds, and the weariness of sorrow, which drops into forgetfulness. The -great majority are certainly "fast as a church" by the time we speak of; -and for the rest, we are among the workers who have been sleepless for -their advantage; so we take out our licence to forget them for the time -being. The only thing that shall remind us of them is the red lamp, -shining afar over the apothecary's door; which, while it does so, -reminds us also that there is help for them to be had. I see him now, -the pale blinker suppressing the conscious injustice of his anger at -being roused by the apprentice, and fumbling himself out of the house, -in hoarseness and great-coat, resolved to make the sweetness of the -Christmas bill indemnify him for the bitterness of the moment. - -But we shall be getting too much into the interior of the houses. By -this time the hackney-coaches have all left the stands--a good symptom -of their having got their day's money. Crickets are heard, here and -there, amidst the embers of some kitchen. A dog follows us. Will nothing -make him "go along"? We dodge him in vain; we run; we stand and "hish!" -at him, accompanying the prohibition with dehortatory gestures, and an -imaginary picking up of a stone. We turn again, and there he is vexing -our skirts. He even forces us into an angry doubt whether he will not -starve, if we do not let him go home with us. Now if we could but lame -him without being cruel; or if we were only an overseer, or a beadle, or -a dealer in dog-skin; or a political economist, to think dogs -unnecessary. Oh! come, he has turned a corner, he has gone: we think we -see him trotting off at a distance, thin and muddy, and our heart -misgives us. But it was not our fault; we were not "hishing" at the -time. His departure was lucky, for he had got our enjoyments into a -dilemma; our "article" would not have known what to do with him. These -are the perplexities to which your sympathisers are liable. We resume -our way, independent and alone; for we have no companion this time, -except our never-to-be-forgotten and ethereal companion, the reader. A -real arm within another's puts us out of the pale of walking that is to -be made good. It is good already. A fellow-pedestrian is company--is the -party you have left; you talk and laugh, and there is no longer anything -to be contended with. But alone, and in bad weather, and with a long way -to go, here is something for the temper and spirits to grapple with and -turn to account; and accordingly we are booted and buttoned up, an -umbrella over our heads, the rain pelting upon it, and the lamp-light -shining in the gutters; "mudshine," as an artist of our acquaintance -used to call it, with a gusto of reprobation. Now, walk cannot well be -worse; and yet it shall be nothing if you meet it heartily. There is a -pleasure in overcoming obstacles; mere action is something; imagination -is more; and the spinning of the blood, and vivacity of the mental -endeavour, act well upon one another, and gradually put you in a state -of robust consciousness and triumph. Every time you set down your leg -you have a respect for it. The umbrella is held in the hand like a -roaring trophy. - -We are now reaching the country: the fog and rain are over; and we meet -our old friends the watchmen, staid, heavy, indifferent, more coat than -man, pondering, yet not pondering, old but not reverend, immensely -useless. No; useless they are not; for the inmates of the houses think -them otherwise, and in that imagination they do good. We do not pity -the watchmen as we used. Old age often cares little for regular sleep. -They could not be sleeping perhaps if they were in their beds; and -certainly they would not be earning. What sleep they get is perhaps -sweeter in the watch-box,--a forbidden sweet; and they have a sense of -importance, and a claim on the persons in-doors, which, together with -the amplitude of their coating, and the possession of the box itself, -make them feel themselves, not without reason, to be "somebody." They -are peculiar and official. Tomkins is a cobbler as well as they; but -then he is no watchman. He cannot speak to "things of night;" nor bid -"any man stand in the king's name." He does not get fees and gratitude -from the old, the infirm, and the drunken; nor "let gentlemen go;" nor -is he "a parish-man." The churchwardens don't speak to him. If he put -himself ever so much in the way of "the great plumber," he would not -say, "How do you find yourself, Tomkins?"--"An ancient and quiet -watchman." Such he was in the time of Shakespeare, and such he is now. -Ancient, because he cannot help it; and quiet, because he will not help -it, if possible; his object being to procure quiet on all sides, his own -included. For this reason he does not make too much noise in crying the -hour, nor is offensively particular in his articulation. No man shall -sleep the worse for him, out of a horrid sense of the word "three." The -sound shall be three, four, or one, as suits their mutual convenience. - -Yet characters are to be found even among watchmen. They are not all -mere coat, and lump, and indifference. By-the-way, what do they think of -in general? How do they vary the monotony of their ruminations from one -to two, and from two to three, and so on? Are they comparing themselves -with the unofficial cobbler; thinking of what they shall have for dinner -to-morrow; or what they were about six years ago; or that their lot is -the hardest in the world, as insipid old people are apt to think, for -the pleasure of grumbling; or that it has some advantages nevertheless, -besides fees; and that if they are not in bed, their wife is? - -Of characters, or rather varieties among watchmen, we remember several. -One was a Dandy Watchman, who used to ply at the top of Oxford Street, -next the park. We called him the dandy, on account of his utterance. He -had a mincing way with it, pronouncing the _a_ in the word "past" as it -is in _hat_, making a little preparatory hem before he spoke, and then -bringing out his "past ten" in a style of genteel indifference; as if, -upon the whole, he was of that opinion. - -Another was the Metallic Watchman, who paced the same street towards -Hanover Square, and had a clang in his voice like a trumpet. He was a -voice and nothing else; but any difference is something in a watchman. - -A third, who cried the hour in Bedford Square, was remarkable in his -calling for being abrupt and loud. There was a fashion among his tribe -just come up at that time, of omitting the words "past" and "o'clock," -and crying only the number of the hour. I know not whether a -recollection I have of his performance one night is entire matter of -fact, or whether any subsequent fancies of what might have taken place -are mixed up with it; but my impression is, that as I was turning the -corner into the square with a friend, and was in the midst of a -discussion in which numbers were concerned, we were suddenly startled, -as if in solution of it, by a brief and tremendous outcry of--ONE. This -paragraph ought to have been at the bottom of the page, and the word -printed abruptly round the corner. - -A fourth watchman was a very singular phenomenon, a _Reading_ Watchman. -He had a book, which he read by the light of his lantern; and instead of -a pleasant, gave you a very uncomfortable idea of him. It seemed cruel -to pitch amidst so many discomforts and privations one who had -imagination enough to wish to be relieved from them. Nothing but a -sluggish vacuity befits a watchman. - -But the oddest of all was the _Sliding_ Watchman. Think of walking up a -street in the depth of a frosty winter, with long ice in the gutters, -and sleet over head, and then figure to yourself a sort of bale of a man -in white coming sliding towards you with a lantern in one hand, and an -umbrella over his head. It was the oddest mixture of luxury and -hardship, of juvenility and old age! But this looked agreeable. Animal -spirits carry everything before them; and our invincible friend seemed a -watchman for Rabelais. Time was run at and butted by him like a goat. -The slide seemed to bear him half through the night at once; he slipped -from out of his box and his commonplaces at one rush of a merry thought, -and seemed to say "Everything's in imagination--here goes the whole -weight of my office." - -But we approach our home. How still the trees! How deliciously asleep -the country! How beautifully grim and nocturnal this wooded avenue of -ascent against the cold white sky! The watchmen and patrols, which the -careful citizens have planted in abundance within a mile of their doors, -salute us with their "Good mornings"--not so welcome as we pretend; for -we ought not to be out so late; and it is one of the assumptions of -these fatherly old fellows to remind us of it. Some fowls, who have made -a strange roost in a tree, flutter as we pass them--another pull up the -hill, unyielding; a few strides on a level; and _there_ is the light in -the window, the eye of the warm soul of the house--one's home. How -particular, and yet how universal, is that word; and how surely does it -deposit every one for himself in his own nest! - - - PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY - WILLIAM BRENDON AND SON, LIMITED - PLYMOUTH - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Coaches and Coaching, by Leigh Hunt - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COACHES AND COACHING *** - -***** This file should be named 42948-8.txt or 42948-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/2/9/4/42948/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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