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- THE HONEY-POT
-
-
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost
-no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
-under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
-eBook or online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license.
-
-
-
-Title: The Honey-Pot
-Author: Countess Barcynska
-Release Date: April 14, 2013 [EBook #42531]
-Language: English
-Character set encoding: US-ASCII
-
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HONEY-POT ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Al Haines.
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: Cover]
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: SHE PUT ALEXANDRIA INTO THE MOST COMFORTABLE OF HER
-CHAIRS AND DREW ANOTHER CLOSE TO IT. PAGE 103.]
-
-
-
-
- THE HONEY-POT
-
-
- BY
- THE COUNTESS BARCYNSKA
-
- Author of "The Little Mother Who
- Sits at Home."
-
-
-
- NEW YORK
- E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY
- 681 FIFTH AVENUE
- 1916
-
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1916
- BY E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY
-
- FIRST IMPRESSION, FEBRUARY 1916
- SECOND IMPRESSION, FEBRUARY 1916
-
-
-
-
-_I am a traveler in the great World-path; my garments are dirty and my
-feet are bleeding with thorns. Where should I achieve flower-beauty,
-the unsullied loveliness of a moment's life? The gift that I proudly
-bring you is the heart of a woman. Here have all pains and joys
-gathered, the hopes and fears and shames of a daughter of the dust; here
-love springs up struggling toward immortal life. Herein lies an
-imperfection which yet is noble and grand. If the flower service is
-finished, my master, accept this as your servant for the days to come_.
-
---Rabindranath Tagore.
-
-
-
-
- THE HONEY-POT
-
-
-
- I
-
-
-In her petticoat, barefooted, because the morning was sultry, Miss Maggy
-Delamere plied a well-worn hare's foot to her cheeks with the sure touch
-of an artist. Professionally speaking and adding a final "e" to the
-term, that is what she was--chorus-lady by courtesy, showgirl in the
-vernacular of the stage. On her small dressing-table were ranged a
-number of pots and bottles, unguents and creams. A battered make-up box
-containing remnants and ends of variously colored grease sticks flanked
-a looking-glass of inadequate size and small reflective power. A beam
-of sunlight striking across a corner of the table danced with minute
-particles of dust from a powder-puff.
-
-The astonishing amount of vigor she put into the process of facial
-adornment, the prodigality with which she used pigments and washes, were
-characteristic of her temperament, all generosity and recklessness.
-Paint and powder were a habit with her, not an exigency. No girl of
-nineteen could have needed them less. Her complexion, well-nigh
-flawless, bloomed beneath the unnecessary veneer. Not even a cracked
-mirror could mitigate her good looks nor detract anything from her
-vivacious expression. It reflected a speaking face even when the lips
-were still.
-
-She was taking unusual pains with her appearance this morning. A card
-stuck in the edge of the looking-glass provided the reason.
-
-
- _Memo. from A. Stannard, Dramatic Agent._
- PALL MALL THEATRE.
- _Voice Trial, June 22nd, 10.45 a. m._
-
-
-As everybody knows, the Pall Mall is the one London Theater of all
-others to which ladies of the chorus most aspire. In Maggy's case that
-aspiration was intensified by real want of an engagement. She had
-recently succumbed to an attack of that childish complaint, measles, and
-was more than usually hard-up. Her choice of garments was as limited as
-her means, yet twice she changed her mind about one or another of them
-before she was satisfied that she looked her best. Her efforts to that
-end finished with the tacking of several sheets of tissue paper to the
-inside of her skirt to give it the rustle of a silk lining. The
-rustle--deceptive and effective as stage thunder--convincingly
-accomplished, she felt ready to present herself before any stage-manager
-in existence.
-
-If her mood was serene vanity had no part in it. Unlike the average
-chorus-girl she was quite free from conceit of any kind. She was too
-good-looking to be unaware of it, but she did not trade on her
-appearance further than professional principles strictly allowed. She
-asked no more of it than that it should bring her in from thirty
-shillings to two pounds a week for honest work behind the footlights.
-Commercialism with her ended there. She was all heart, but free from
-illusions. Her mother had been on the stage before her. Always on the
-stage herself since childhood, familiarized with its careless,
-hand-to-mouth existence, its trials and its exuberances, she had become
-worldly-wise at ten and a woman at fifteen. But the life did not
-demoralize her. The bad example of a mother's frailty and intemperance
-had been her safeguard. She had never lost her head or her heart. She
-did not rate herself very high, but she rated men lower. Apart from
-this she had no hidebound views about life or morality. Since her
-mother's unlovely death she had lived alone and kept her end up somehow.
-She had often been penniless, gone hungry and cold; but so did many of
-the people among whom she moved. So long as she was not quite penniless
-she never worried. Cigale-like she lived in the present. If she ever
-suffered from fits of depression it was when she realized that she was
-more than usually shabby and needy, a condition, however, which she
-preferred to put up with rather than descend to the acquisitive methods
-of other girls.
-
-Through the rattle of the traffic in the street below she heard a church
-clock booming. Incidentally, she regarded churches less as places of
-worship than timepieces of magnitude, convenient when you do not possess
-a watch. She counted the strokes, ten of them, darted to the glass for
-a last survey of herself, gave a touch to her hat, another to her
-waistbelt, and pattered in her now stockinged feet to the top of the
-stairs.
-
-"Shoes, please, Mrs. Bell!" she sang out. "You don't want me to be late,
-do you?"
-
-"Coming this moment, Miss Delamere!" shouted an answering voice.
-
-Mrs. Bell lumbered up the stairs with the shoes in her hand--high-heeled
-ones of the sort that only last a fortnight before losing shape.
-
-"I just stopped to give them an extry polish," she panted.
-
-Maggy took them from her and hurriedly put them on. While she buttoned
-them her landlady went on her knees and gave them a final rub up with
-her apron. She meant well.
-
-"You'll have luck to-day," she said, regaining her feet and surveying
-her lodger with approval. "I should look out for the butcher's black cat
-on my way, if I was you. Back to dinner, dear?"
-
-"I'll have a cut off whatever you've got, if I am," Maggy answered.
-
-"Mine's hot Canterbury lamb and onion sauce."
-
-"All right."
-
-Maggy ran downstairs, slammed the hall door behind her and walked down
-the street into the main thoroughfare, looking for the green motor-bus
-that would take her within a stone's throw of the Pall Mall Theater. In
-a quarter of an hour she had reached that imposing edifice. Going in at
-the stage door she descended a flight of stone steps, traversed a long
-passage, and found herself upon the stage.
-
-Gray daylight filtered down from the skylight above the flies, just
-enough for the business of the moment, no more. Across the unlit
-footlights was a gloomy void, pierced by an occasional gleam from an
-open door at the back of the pit or dress-circle, and relieved by the
-lighter hue of serried rows of dust-sheets hanging over the seats and
-balcony edges.
-
-Close to the footlights was a table occupied by the stage-manager and
-one of his satellites. In the corner to their left an upright piano was
-set askew with the conductor of the orchestra seated at it. At the back
-of the stage, standing about in groups, some thirty girls and a few men
-were waiting to have their voices tried.
-
-They chattered noisily. Most of them seemed to know one another. One
-or two called out a greeting to Maggy. Some were volubly discussing
-their professional experiences, telling of late engagements and
-prospective ones; the run of this piece, the closing down of that;
-incidents on tour and in pantomime; suppers at restaurants and the
-demerits of landladies. These topics ran into one another and
-overlapped. Others, with giggles, imparted risky anecdotes in
-undertones. Most of them appeared to be taking the situation with the
-calmness of habit. Nervousness showed in a few faces; anxiety in one or
-two. One pale-faced girl was in a condition of approaching maternity.
-In other surroundings she would have attracted attention, perhaps called
-up pathetic surprise that in the circumstances she should be attempting
-to obtain employment. But here very few were affected by pathos at
-sight of her, nor was she an object of much surprise.
-
-After Maggy had exchanged a word or two with those whom she knew she
-took very little notice of the people about her. She stood apart,
-humming a tune, and every now and again her feet broke into a subdued
-dance step. But this state of abstraction did not last long. That she
-was a creature of impulse showed in an abrupt change from it to close
-attention of what was going on around her. Her fine eyes went alertly
-over those present and came to rest on a girl of about her own age whose
-quiet manner and dress of severe black singled her out from the rest.
-She was tall and slight, very much in the style of the women in
-Shepperson's drawings. Her small features and graceful figure gave her
-a distinguished appearance. She looked what she was, a lady, and a
-stranger to her surroundings. She held a roll of music and glanced
-nervously about her until she became aware of Maggy's smiling regard.
-It seemed to encourage her. She returned the smile and advanced.
-
-"At which end will they begin?" she asked nervously, making it clear
-that she was an amateur.
-
-"Anywhere," replied Maggy with friendly cheerfulness. "You're not a
-pro.?"
-
-"No."
-
-"I thought not. I shouldn't let on if I were you. Managers fight shy
-of beginners. First thing they'll ask you at the table is what
-experience you've had. Haven't you been on the stage at all before?"
-
-"No, I've never appeared in public. I'm new to it all."
-
-"Been looking for a shop--an engagement--long?"
-
-"For five weeks. Ever since I came to London."
-
-The girl in black could not hide the note of disappointment that came
-into her voice. Maggy gave her an encouraging tap on the arm.
-
-"Five weeks!" she scoffed. "That's nothing. Lots of us are out for
-months. You'll know that if you ever hit real bad luck."
-
-"I can't wait months."
-
-"Hard up?" Maggy asked with quick understanding.
-
-"I shall be soon."
-
-"Same here. Tell me, where are you living? You're different to the
-crowd. I like you."
-
-The girl in black hesitated and got a little red.
-
-"I'm not living anywhere at present," she confessed. "I was in a
-boarding-house until to-day. I had to leave. I shall have to find rooms
-before night. Perhaps you wouldn't mind telling me where to look?"
-
-They had moved away from those nearest them. Each felt attracted to the
-other without knowing why.
-
-"Did they keep your box?"
-
-"No. Why should they?"
-
-"I thought you meant you couldn't pay."
-
-"No, it wasn't that. But I can't go back. A man came into my room last
-night--one of the men staying there. I rang the bell and called the
-landlady. I don't understand why, but she blamed me and was very
-offensive. I didn't go to bed again. I sat up, waiting for the
-morning."
-
-"The beast!"
-
-The cheery look left Maggy's face, giving place to one of deep
-resentment. "The man, I mean," she said, "though I've no doubt the
-woman was just as bad. There are houses like that. Fancy you not
-knowing it. I should have ... Here, they're going to begin. Keep by
-me. I'll see you through."
-
-The stage-manager rapped on the table.
-
-"Silence, please! We'll commence now."
-
-An immediate hush followed. The groups broke up, spreading across the
-stage, facing the footlights. Such indifference to the occasion as many
-of them had hitherto evinced was gone now. They were there to be
-engaged. Even the most self-assured became serious, made so by the
-competitive equation. Only twelve girls and three men were wanted to
-complete the ranks of the chorus, and here were nearly forty applicants
-for the vacancies.
-
-"Come on, come on. Who's first? You with the boa," proceeded the
-stage-manager. "What's your song?"
-
-The girl indicated handed her music to the pianist. He rattled off the
-prelude without the waste of a moment. The girl sang a few bars, and
-was interrupted by: "That'll do. Next!"
-
-Nothing more was said or asked. The girl took her sheet of music, and
-effaced herself. With equal celerity the next dozen were disposed of.
-Not more than one out of four was called to the table for her or his
-name to be recorded. All the while the singing was going on the
-stage-manager kept up a running fire of remarks at the expense of the
-singer. Generally they were merely sarcastic; some were rude.
-
-The girl in black kept close to Maggy who looked on unperturbed, now and
-then jerking out a subdued comment on the proceedings, partly to
-herself, partly for the information of her companion.
-
-"Now it's Dickson, poor kid! Look at the state she's in. Silly of her
-to come. Powell won't let her open her mouth.... There you are! Off
-she goes. She's crying. The brute! He needn't have _said_ it! ...
-That's Mortimer. She'll get taken on.... Knew it at once. Down goes her
-name--address 'Makehaste Mansions!' Don't they get through us quick?
-We're not human beings, only voices and figures. My turn!"
-
-She walked confidently down to the table, ignoring the piano.
-
-"Where's your song?" inquired the stage-manager.
-
-"Won't you take my voice on trust, Mr. Powell?" was her jaunty reply.
-"It's like a bird's."
-
-"Nightingale, I suppose?" he jeered.
-
-"No, bird of Paradise. Aren't I good enough to look at?"
-
-After a momentary hesitation, during which he appraised her face and
-figure, he said:
-
-"Got a photo of yourself in fleshings?"
-
-"Not here. Plenty at my agent's--Stannard's."
-
-"All right. Name, please. Next."
-
-The girl in black was next. Her heart beat uncomfortably fast as she
-moved down. Had she to pitch her voice to fill that gaping void across
-the footlights? She shrank from singing to these blase-looking men who
-gave the impression of damning before they heard. Then she saw that
-Maggy was still standing by the table and nodding encouragingly to her.
-It gave her heart. She handed her song to the pianist and commenced to
-sing.
-
-"Louder, please," said some one.
-
-She sang louder and lost her nervousness. It was not so difficult to
-fill that huge auditorium, after all. So far, she was the only one of
-them that had been allowed to sing her song half through.
-
-"Shouldn't mind hearing the rest of that another day," said the
-stage-manager, stopping her at last. "Not half bad, my dear. Name,
-please."
-
-She gave her name, Alexandra Hersey.
-
-"What have you been in?" came the query.
-
-Before she could answer Maggy chimed in.
-
-"She was with me on tour in 'The Camera Girl.' No. 2 Company."
-
-"Address?"
-
-Again Maggy came to the rescue.
-
-"Put her down to mine. 109 Sidey Street. Then you'll remember us
-both--p'r'aps!"
-
-She hooked her arm in Alexandra's and made for the wings. When they
-were in the passage facing the stage-door she said:
-
-"I'll help you find rooms if you like. I've nothing to do. I say, you
-can sing!"
-
-"If it hadn't been for you--"
-
-"Oh, rats!"
-
-"But it was awfully good of you," Alexandra maintained. "Is there a
-room in the house where you live?" she asked, actuated by a strong
-desire not to lose sight of her new acquaintance.
-
-"There's room in my room, that's all. I pay ten shillings a week. My
-landlady charges fifteen for two in it. That would be seven-and-six
-each. But"--she made a wry face--"you wouldn't like it. It's slummy.
-There's a smell of fried fish and a beastly row half the night. Still,
-you can have a look at it if you like."
-
-There was invitation in the tone.
-
-"I'd like to come," said Alexandra.
-
-"Right-O. Here's my motor car. The green one." She held up her hand
-to a 'bus driver. "My chauffeur doesn't like stopping, except for
-policemen."
-
-She gave Alexandra a push up and sprang on the footboard after her.
-They climbed to the top, and were rattled and jerked in the direction of
-the King's Cross Road.
-
-
-
-
- II
-
-
-One Hundred and Nine Sidey Street was not an attractive apartment house,
-but it was cheap and respectable. Mrs. Bell, an "old pro" herself, by
-reason of having, in some distant past, earned twelve shillings a week
-as a "local girl" in pantomime, preferred the lesser lights of the stage
-for tenants. She knew their ways, their freedom from "side," their
-unexacting habits. When she could not secure them she took in
-"respectable young men." At the present juncture the young men
-predominated. Maggy Delamere was the sole representative of "the
-professional" in her house. She occupied the third-floor front, and
-owed three weeks' rent.
-
-She threw open the door for Alexandra to enter. It was the sort of room
-that many a domestic servant would have considered inadequate. The only
-compensating feature about it on this hot June day was that it had two
-windows. Both stood open, and on the sill of each a pot of flowers,
-mignonette in the one, sweet peas in the other, helped to create an
-impression of freshness. This was strengthened by the paucity of its
-furniture and the chilly look which an unrelieved expanse of linoleum
-invariably gives. A single iron bedstead occupied one angle. A clean
-but faded nightdress case, trimmed with crochet work, lay on the pillow.
-This and the flowers in the windows were the only things that gave
-evidence of the room being occupied by a young girl.
-
-Maggy made a comprehensive gesture with her hand.
-
-"The chorus lady at home!" she declaimed humorously. "Living in the lap
-of luxury. There's her voluptuous couch, her Louis the what's-his-name
-chest of drawers, her exquisite bric-a-bric washstand and--My dear, be
-careful of the chair! It's a real antique, only three legs and a
-swinger! Sit on the bed, it's safer. Pretty little place, isn't it?
-We'll have lunch in a minute or two. Can you eat hot New Zealand
-mutton? I told the old woman I'd have a cut off her joint to-day. I'll
-just shout down to let her know there's two of us."
-
-After her voice had echoed down the three flights and been duly
-answered, she came back and poured out water for her new friend to wash
-her hands in. Common yellow soap was all she could offer for this
-purpose. She was only able to afford the fancy variety and cheap
-perfumes when she was in an engagement. She took off her hat while
-Alexandra dried her hands and then, as they sat side by side on the bed,
-she suddenly blurted out:
-
-"What the dickens makes you want to go in for the stage? Don't tell me
-if you'd rather not."
-
-"There's no reason why I shouldn't," said Alexandra. "I've longed to
-ever since I was quite small."
-
-"Goodness! And I've wanted to get off it ever since I can remember.
-Not that I ever had the chance. I don't know how to do anything useful.
-I suppose you got cracked about the stage, same as most girls, because
-you didn't know anything about it. You belong to a swell family, I
-suppose?"
-
-"No," was the smiling reply; "only Anglo-Indians."
-
-"What are they? Half-castes? You're fooling!"
-
-"English people who live or have lived in India. My father was in the
-army."
-
-"What, an officer?"
-
-"Yes."
-
-Maggy was impressed. She had once met a Sergeant-Major, and, superior
-being as she thought him, knew that his glory was reflected from the
-commissioned ranks.
-
-"That's something to be proud of, anyway."
-
-Alexandra's people had been in the Army and Civil Service for
-generations. It had not occurred to her to think of them unduly on this
-account. She said as much.
-
-"Well," observed Maggy sententiously, "I should say your father and the
-rest of your relations must be either dead or dreaming to let you go on
-the stage."
-
-"Nearly all my near relations _are_ dead. I have an aunt and uncle--"
-
-"What does he do?"
-
-"He's a retired colonel. He--they wanted me to live with them."
-Alexandra gave the information with a touch of reluctance.
-
-"Why didn't you?"
-
-To give a stranger adequate and convincing reasons why one prefers not
-to live with uncongenial relations is not always easy. Alexandra put it
-briefly.
-
-"We have nothing in common," she said.
-
-"And what do you think you have in common with this life and the people
-you'll meet in it?" propounded Maggy. "If I were you I'd go back and
-say: 'Nunky old dear, I've changed my mind. I'll come and live with you
-and be your loving niece, amen.' Fancy! a retired
-colonel--Anglo-Indian--and you think twice about it!"
-
-"Nothing would induce me to change my mind," said Alexandra with
-decision. "There are three girls, and they find it a tight fit without
-me. They're not rich.... When my mother died I had to do something.
-Besides, I'm really ambitious to get on."
-
-Maggy snapped her fingers.
-
-"Oh, ambition! Do you know what the ambition of every chorus girl is?
-It isn't to become a star-actress. That's clean beyond her. It's to
-find a man who'll take her away from a room like this and treat her
-decently."
-
-Alexandra found it difficult to reconcile such a statement with one so
-beaming and joyous-looking as Maggy.
-
-"But you--you don't think like that?" she rejoined.
-
-"Sometimes I do. I've kept straight so far because I like being on my
-own. I hate men, with their nasty thoughts and their prowling ways. But
-I haven't met any that I liked. If I had, perhaps I shouldn't be here
-now. If we get taken on at the Pall Mall it'll be nothing but men, men,
-men. We shall get no peace."
-
-"You paint everything in such somber colors. There must be light as well
-as shade."
-
-"There's a lot of limelight, if that's what you mean; but the shade's
-all the darker for it. Oh, I can tell you the stage is a rotten place
-if you've got no money or no friends or no chap at the back of you. I'm
-not saying that for the sake of talking. It's good enough for any one
-like me. But when I see a blind man crossing the road I always wish I
-could make him see, and as I'm not God Almighty the only thing I can do
-is to give him a hand. That's how I feel about you. The traffic's
-dangerous enough when you've got eyes in your head, like I have. It's
-all traffic on the stage. I suppose you think you'll be able to look
-after yourself? Well, you wait and see. There'll be Mr. Johnnie at the
-stage-door asking you to hop into his landaulette because the road's
-slippery or some such nonsense. But what's the use of trying to
-convince anybody? I can see I shan't put you off the stage.... I'll
-help you to look for a room, unless--" Maggy's volubility checked for a
-moment. "--unless you'd like to chum with me. I'm just what you see.
-Nothing hidden up my sleeve; no drink and no boy."
-
-She saw Alexandra wince at her plain language, and watched her
-anxiously. Hardly ever before had she sought the companionship of
-another girl, nor could she quite understand the motive that was making
-her do so now.
-
-Her extreme candor certainly had a startling effect on Alexandra. She
-had never met any one so outspoken. But she put the right construction
-on Maggy's frankness, recognized it as a manifestation of genuineness
-and honesty, and succumbed to it as she had to the girl's fascinating
-vivacity. She was altogether drawn towards her. Again, Maggy stood to
-her as the personification of the new life she had elected to make her
-own.
-
-Maggy was looking at her expectantly, looking and smiling. There was
-something very compelling in her smile.
-
-"I'd like to chum," said Alexandra impulsively.
-
-
-
-
- III
-
-
-When Maggy spoke of the stage she generally meant the Pall Mall Theater.
-Just now it was in her thoughts more than any other, perhaps because she
-had met Alexandra there, but also because she was inclined to think that
-Alexandra and she had made a favorable impression on its stage-manager.
-
-The Pall Mall, De Freyne, its lessee and manager, and the Pall Mall
-chorus are a trinity known the world over. Productions at the Pall Mall
-invariably enjoy success. Long runs prevail there. That was one of the
-reasons why Maggy looked forward to an engagement at that theater.
-Another was the pay, rather more than was obtainable elsewhere. In
-other respects it offered her no advantages and some drawbacks. She
-had, for instance no aspiration to become one of a chorus whose
-unrivaled attractions marked it out as a sort of human _delicatessen_
-for the consumption of epicurean males. On the other hand, De Freyne
-was indifferent to expense on the question of costume, and that had had
-considerable weight with Maggy. Like any other pretty girl she reveled
-in beautiful clothes, even though they should only be on loan to her for
-an hour or two out of the twenty-four. On tour the dresses were often
-effective enough at a distance, but either of inferior material or their
-pristine freshness considerably depreciated by having seen previous
-service in a London theater. That militated against the pleasure of
-wearing them. At the Pall Mall everything would be new and the best
-that money could buy.
-
-That De Freyne's object in dressing his chorus regardless of cost was a
-licentious one, the desire to make his two-score of attractive-looking
-girls still more attractive in the eyes of the _jeunesse doree_, who
-filled his stalls, was no deterrent to Maggy on her own account. She
-did think of it in regard to Alexandra. She wondered whether Alexandra
-would be affected by the demoralizing influence of those beautiful
-clothes which at the Pall Mall were fashioned to display a girl's
-physical charms to the very limit of decency. It ended in her being
-almost sorry that Alexandra's innocence and the callousness of an agent
-should have sent her to the voice trial.
-
-How Alexandra was to make a good impression on the public by posturing
-in the chorus was not explained to her. It was the expression of an
-opinion which she could take or leave. In her innocence she made the
-common error of imagining that the public chooses its plays, its novels,
-its pictures, its music and its actors and actresses for itself. She
-did not stop to think that there might be gradations in that public or
-that the vast majority of it is deprived of selective taste by the
-interested parties who cater for it. Generalizing by the noise the
-public makes with its hands when it approves of anything, she argued
-that everything it applauds must be good. The noise is there right
-enough and the approval is genuine; but that has to be discounted by the
-fact that the public has nothing better to approve of. For the
-public--the crowd--is a led horse most of the time. It is enormously
-manageable. It does what it is told and goes where it is taken. Its
-taste has never been given a chance of becoming educated because of the
-fare that has been forced upon it. Its purveyors feed it as injuriously
-as an ignorant man will a horse. For the want of anything better the
-horse will eat what is given it. So with the public. Obviously the
-public never has anything to do with the choice of a play. Nobody has
-except the man who buys it and puts it on the stage.
-
-Following the simile of the led horse and the proverb that, though you
-may take it to the water you cannot make it drink, the public likewise
-will once in a way evince the same sort of stubbornness. Then the play
-that failed to "go down" is unostentatiously withdrawn, or the pretender
-to histrionic laurels unable to obtain them will try his or her luck
-again in another piece with another's money behind it.
-
-After all, it is but a question of credulity. Even Alexandra had to
-conform to it. She was advised to apply for a place in the chorus and
-she did so. With her necessarily vague ideas about the chorus she did
-not think of it as anything very dreadful. It did not offer so good a
-footing on the stage as she desired, that was all. She did not, for
-instance, believe all the disparaging things Maggy said about the stage.
-She appreciated that on the stage a girl might be unduly exposed to
-temptation, but in her austerity that was no reason for yielding to it.
-In her Arcadian purity she could not conceive of circumstances, however
-degrading, having any adverse effect on herself. Nor could she credit
-Maggy's insistent assertion that without money or influence an actress
-must remain in the depths. She believed, as inexperience always does,
-that talent is bound to be recognized sooner or later. The creed of the
-chorus girl, unspoken, unwritten, was yet hers to learn.
-
-For ten days the two girls heard nothing from the Pall Mall Theater. It
-was possible, if not probable, that they might not hear at all.
-Meanwhile Maggy went about with Alexandra looking for an engagement in
-some other direction. It was a matter of urgency to both of them to get
-something to do. Maggy had been out of an engagement for two months.
-She was in Mrs. Bell's debt, and she owed money to a doctor. Alexandra
-was little better off. As the orphaned daughter of an officer she had a
-pension of L40 a year so long as she remained unmarried. But with the
-expense she had been put to in coming to town and in spite of the
-strictest economy it was not enough to live on.
-
-She could not help being anxious about the future; more so than Maggy.
-Maggy, though she chafed at them, was accustomed to bad times: Alexandra
-had never struck them before. Hardly had she got over the illusion of
-imagining that a small part in a London theater was obtainable than she
-found herself in no request even for the chorus. It was terribly
-disappointing. They were forever haunting stage-doors and the crowded
-waiting rooms of theatrical agencies. For hours every day they wandered
-about the Strand and its environs.
-
-But for the prospect of sheer want confronting them they would have been
-quite happy. The bond that united them was based on mutual respect as
-well as affection. Disappointment and privation only cemented it. In
-these days when the stale breakfast egg was a comestible to be shared,
-when anything better than canned food became a luxury, their friendship
-remained free from any of the pettinesses which generally characterize
-the intimacy of people living under conditions of hardship.
-
-The stoicism of a family of soldiers supported Alexandra. She had the
-pride of race that refuses to surrender to misfortune. Her grit,
-astonishing in one so delicately reared, surprised Maggy. She began to
-look up to Alexandra as a being of a superior world in which the
-virtues, being Anglo-Indian, were of a particularly high order. She had
-a very nebulous conception of the meaning of the term.
-
-Just as Alexandra found it absorbing to listen to Maggy's stage talk,
-even though it was humorously misogynistic, so nothing pleased Maggy so
-much as to listen to Alexandra's narration of life in an Indian military
-station. It sounded to her like a history of the high gods: a medley of
-color, warmth and ease, good living and brass bands. She loved to hear
-of parades and polo, of the troops of servants, the gymkhanas and
-dances, all the social amusements and advantages of the sahib caste.
-From habit, Alexandra would use native words when talking of these
-things, and Maggy's unaccustomed brain never quite differentiated
-between syce, hazari, maidan, ayah, chit, durzi, kitmagar, butti,
-tikka-gari and such-like terms in common use with Anglo-Indians. But
-they impressed her immensely.
-
-The amount of talk they got through in these early days of their
-friendship was stupendous. It helped to relieve the harassing search
-after employment and its invariable ill-success.
-
-One morning, three weeks after their first meeting, Maggy sprang out of
-bed to gather up two letters which their landlady had pushed under the
-door. On the flaps were inspiring words in red lettering.
-
-"Pall Mall Theater! Hooroo! One for each of us!" she cried, and danced
-about in her nightdress.
-
-Alexandra, behind an improvised screen formed of a shawl over the towel
-rail, was having her morning bath in a zinc tub of inadequate size.
-
-"Open mine," she called. "I'm wet."
-
-She waited anxiously. There came the sound of tearing paper and then
-Maggy's voice, raised excitedly:
-
-"Pull that old shawl down, Lexie! If you don't practise on me you'll
-die of shyness and no clothes at the Pall Mall. We're engaged!
-Rehearsal Thursday. Eleven o'clock!"
-
-
-
-
- IV
-
-
-It was past one o'clock. For over two hours without a pause the chorus
-had been going through their "business" in the new play with the
-reiteration that exasperates the teacher and the taught. The girls had
-relapsed into sulkiness, the stage-manager's temper was ruffled. Even
-the pianist in the O.P. corner by the footlights felt the reaction. His
-hands rested on the keys without energy.
-
-Powell, the stage-manager, faced the forty girls standing in a
-semi-circle, three-deep. The majority of them were dressed in the
-ultra-fashionable style of the moment, some very expensively, a few with
-taste. The exceptions were Maggy and Alexandra. He knew they were all
-tired and rebellious; but he was concerned only with their recalcitrant
-feet.
-
-"Now then, girls. Once more."
-
-The pianist's hands came down heavily on the opening chords of a dance
-movement.
-
-"La-la-la--da-di-dum--point! Step it out. Don't mince!"
-
-A tall girl, gorgeously arrayed, brought the dance to a stop by leaving
-her position in the front row.
-
-"I'm not going to stick here all day," she announced defiantly. "I'm
-lunching with my boy, and he won't wait."
-
-"Get back to your place, Miss Mortimer," snapped Powell.
-
-"Not me. I'm going."
-
-As she began to cross the stage on her way out a voice came from the
-depths of the auditorium:
-
-"Miss Mortimer, we're not concerned with your private appointments. If
-they're to interfere with your work here you can look for another
-engagement somewhere else."
-
-The show-girl glanced in the direction of the voice and shrugged.
-
-"Mean you'll fire me, Mr. De Freyne? Well, I don't care. Pa's rich!"
-
-She walked off jauntily, her high heels clicking on the boards, a costly
-plume streaming over her left ear. The lessee of the Pall Mall Theater
-said nothing. He was mildly amused. He stood in the dark at the back
-of the dress circle complacently regarding his theatrical seraglio. All
-the girls were pretty, or if not pretty, showy. Some had been selected
-for their figures, some for their faces, some for both. No duchess, not
-even a fashionable duchess, was arrayed like one of these. Solomon in
-all his glory might perhaps have competed with them, but not the lilies
-of the field. Presently De Freyne's gimlet eyes picked out Maggy and
-Alexandra. Their appearance disturbed his equanimity.
-
-He watched them attentively for ten minutes or so, at the end of which
-period the tired stage-manager dismissed the chorus for the morning. De
-Freyne's authoritative voice again made itself heard.
-
-"Miss Delamere and Miss Hersey. Step up to my room before you go,
-please. I want to speak to you."
-
-The girls exchanged scared glances. A special interview with De Freyne
-was sufficiently unusual to fill them with dismay. He was not in the
-habit of detaining members of his chorus for the fun of the thing.
-
-They groped their way along dim, soft-carpeted passages to the front of
-the house and entered the managerial office. De Freyne was blunt to a
-degree. He wasted no time.
-
-"You two girls have got to make more of a show," he told them. "I can't
-have shabby dresses at the Pall Mall."
-
-Alexandra was too taken aback by this curt rebuke to make any reply; but
-Maggy lost her temper.
-
-"Meaning flash clothes and jewelry?" she bit out. "How do you expect us
-to do it on thirty-five shillings a week, Mr. De Freyne?"
-
-"I'm not interested in your resources," was De Freyne's cold answer.
-
-"You ought to be. You ought to get a pencil and slate and write down
-the cost of lodgings, food, boots, and all the rest of it, and figure
-out how little we've got left to buy clothes with--unless we don't care
-who buys them for us. _We're_ not that sort--not yet."
-
-"You must look smarter," reiterated De Freyne, showing no resentment at
-this tirade. "You silly creatures, don't you want to attract attention?"
-
-"We'll attract attention on the night. Don't worry," said Maggy. She
-was afraid of De Freyne, but she did not let her voice show it.
-
-"That's all very well, but you know the unwritten clause of my agreement
-with you all. The ladies of my chorus have got to be dressed decently
-off the stage as well as on.... Anyhow, there it is. Take it or leave
-it." He dismissed them with a nod.
-
-Neither said anything until they had passed out of the stage-door and
-were in the street.
-
-"That means new clothes," said Alexandra in a tone of deep depression.
-
-"Or Dick Whittington!" Maggy rejoined dryly. "Turn and turn again--our
-dresses. I'll have a go at yours to-night, Lexie. Look, there's
-Mortimer and her boy."
-
-A big car slid past them, ridiculously upholstered in white velvet. An
-effete-looking youth and the girl who had stated that her "pa" was rich
-lolled in the back seat.
-
-Maggy's eyes followed them speculatively.
-
-"Wonder if there's anything in it?" she remarked.
-
-"In what?"
-
-"In that sort of a good time. Flat, money, pet dog, car, week-ends at
-Brighton--enough to eat."
-
-"I don't want to think about it."
-
-"Neither do I. But I have lately. I'm wondering what on earth we're
-standing out for. No one thinks any the better of us for it. The girls
-all think us fools, and the men just grin and wait."
-
-"Don't talk about it. Talking makes it all seem worse."
-
-"One day I shall do more than talk. I shall walk off."
-
-Alexandra said nothing. She knew Maggy's mood. Maggy was hungry,
-tired, and cross. Motives of economy impelled them towards their
-lodgings, where half a tin of sardines was waiting to be consumed.
-Neither had had anything to eat since early morning. And when they had
-lunched they would have to walk back to the theater for rehearsal again
-at three. Maggy suddenly halted before a Lyons' depot.
-
-"Come on in, Lexie," she said. "We can't wait. We shan't be home till
-past two. And if we're late back we'll be fined."
-
-"There's the tin of--" Alexandra began and stopped.
-
-Maggy had pushed open the swing doors. The grateful smell of hot and
-well-made coffee and savory, nourishing food, cheapness notwithstanding,
-made her surrender to temptation. Deprivation has this effect. De
-Freyne, lunching expensively at the Savoy, recognizing here and there
-approved members of his chorus and their cavaliers, could not be
-expected to know anything of empty stomachs. Besides, it was their own
-fault if the girls did not know which side their bread was buttered.
-
-They sat down at one of the marble-topped tables. A waitress came
-towards them.
-
-"Two cups of coffee, rolls and butter--"
-
-This was Alexandra's order.
-
-"Coffee, rolls, and two steak-and-kidney puddings," augmented Maggy
-recklessly.
-
-Unmoved, the attendant went off to execute the order.
-
-Maggy met Alexandra's startled eyes. Her own were defiant.
-
-"Don't tell me," she said. "It'll cost us nearly eighteenpence. I
-don't care. _I'm_ going to pay, and if I don't go bust that way I shall
-do something worse. We're going to feed, dear!"
-
-
-
-
- V
-
-
-"Damn! She's turned off the gas!"
-
-Maggy stopped machining. The small room was plunged in darkness.
-Alexandra groped for matches and lit the candles. It was not easy to
-work by the flickering light, but both girls went on with what they were
-doing. There was something grim about the task. One associates the
-alteration of frills and furbelows with some small pleasure to the
-adapter; but there was none here. Necessity impelled them, kept them
-out of their beds. They were heavy with sleep. The air of the room was
-close and unpleasant.
-
-Maggy had all but finished turning Alexandra's coat and skirt.
-Alexandra had adapted two Indian shawls into an effective dress for
-Maggy. The work was too hastily done to bear inspection at close
-quarters or much strain by its wearer. They had been steadily at it for
-five hours.
-
-It was Maggy who gave in first. She finished machining with a savage
-jerk, leaving the handle to revolve by itself.
-
-"Let's go to bed," she said. "I'll get up half an hour earlier and
-finish that."
-
-Alexandra went on. She was not going to be beaten for the sake of half
-an hour. Besides, she knew that Maggy in the cashmere shawl arrangement
-would please De Freyne. She, at any rate, would pass muster.
-
-"I'm not so very tired now," she answered without looking up, "and I may
-be in the morning."
-
-Maggy shook her hair down and slipped out of her clothes with the
-celerity that comes of practise between the acts. She did not even
-trouble to take the paint off her face. She got into bed and lay
-watching Alexandra working by the guttering candle-light. She did not
-talk. She was too utterly tired.
-
-At last Alexandra's work was done. She hung up the dress and put away
-the needles and cotton. She had a strong inclination to get into bed
-without more ado than Maggy had shown; but habit was not to be denied.
-She knew she would not be able to rest properly unless she was clean and
-cool. She brushed her hair, washed her face and hands, brushed her
-teeth. A huge sigh from Maggy's bed made her turn.
-
-"Am I keeping you awake?"
-
-"No. I sighed because you're so different to me. _I_ couldn't wash
-to-night. And I knew my hair'd be a mat in the morning and the pillow
-pink from my cheeks."
-
-"I wish you didn't paint. There's no harm in girls doing it if they
-need it, but you spoil yourself."
-
-"Force of habit. Mother made up my face from the time I was ten."
-
-Alexandra in her nightdress knelt down at the side of her bed. Maggy
-never said prayers. To see Alexandra say them, she said, was the
-nearest she would ever get to such things. She had never been taught to
-pray when a child.
-
-"Might as well drop Him a hint that we're at the end of our tether," she
-suggested presently.
-
-When Alexandra rose from her knees Maggy was sitting up in bed watching
-her, her hands clasping her legs.
-
-"And you mean to say that you believe somebody hears you!" she said
-wonderingly.
-
-"Yes."
-
-"And does what you ask?"
-
-"Yes--in the end."
-
-"Then He must be pretty deaf.... You look nice saying your prayers. If
-I were God I couldn't refuse you anything. P'raps He's a woman-hater.
-Women get the worst of it everywhere, I think. If we do wrong, we have
-to pay for it. If we don't do wrong, we have to pay just the same.
-We're made so that we're not fit to be working all the time. Oh, it's a
-hell of a world for women! I can stand anything when I feel it's fair
-and just. I can't see any justice where we're concerned. They have an
-inspector Johnnie to see that the scales in the grocery-shops are fair,
-but if a woman wants to make a bargain she's got to do it on the heavy
-side."
-
-"The law courts are the scales."
-
-"The law? Aren't the scales against us there too? If we want a divorce
-we've got to be knocked about as well as--other things. If we're
-deserted and ruined before we're married we can get so many shillings a
-week until the kid's in his teens. And if there's no kid or it dies,
-well, p'raps your God'll help us, but the law won't. It's all too hard
-to fight against, and one can't make head or tail of it. Look at the
-White Slave Traffic. They'll flog a man if they catch him at it, but
-they won't flog De Freyne and give him hard labor for the dirty work
-he's doing every day of his life, though everybody knows about it. Why,
-he's only a--what's it called?--procurer for the nobility and gentry and
-all the rich bounders. And we're not all in yet, but we shall be. My
-word, one hears a lot about the chorus-girl being on the make-haste and
-living you-know-how. One doesn't hear how she's driven into it, like
-cattle into a dirty pen. I'm done, Lexie. I shan't hold out long."
-
-Alexandra blew out the remaining candle. In the darkness one could just
-make out the two narrow beds and the glimmer of the window.
-
-"You mustn't give in, Maggy," came Alexandra's voice after a pause.
-"When one meets the man one cares about one doesn't want to come to him
-with nothing to give."
-
-"Why not? There isn't a man in a hundred who comes to a woman with a
-clean slate. Why should they expect us to have nothing written on
-ours?"
-
-"Because when a man marries nature makes him want a pure woman, not for
-his own sake but because of the children she will probably have. For
-myself, I know I would rather show a clean slate to the man I loved and
-who loved me in a decent way whatever his life had been, than let a man
-who was nothing to me write his name there first. That must be wrong
-because it's against nature."
-
-"Is it? I don't know. You can argue better than I can. You don't lose
-your temper. Let's bring it down to ourselves and our difficulties. The
-stage is a honey-pot and we girls are the honey in it, and the men are
-the flies buzzing round. They won't leave us alone. They make it
-almost impossible for us to live a decent life. And if it's decent it
-isn't beautiful. You can't call it beautiful, Lexie. This room's the
-limit. Think of the food we eat. Generally beastly. And our clothes.
-Everything's ugly and makeshift, and yet we've only got to stretch out
-our little fingers--"
-
-"More than our little fingers."
-
-"Well, if you like. Anyway, what are we waiting for? There's no sense
-in it. It won't get us any forrader. Why don't you leave me alone?
-I'd almost made up my mind to give in when I met you. I should rather
-enjoy cutting a dash and having everything I want and going one better
-than the other girls who crow over us, and snapping my fingers at the
-management like Mortimer did to-day. If a man was going to marry me and
-give me a nice broad ring and a little home there'd be some reason for
-going on like this and keeping good; but men don't ask chorus-girls to
-marry them, as a rule--not by a long chalk! Oh, goodnight!"
-
-She twisted on to her side, and the bedsprings groaned.
-
-From neighboring churches clocks began striking twelve. The noises from
-the street subsided. Only an occasional footfall was heard or a cart
-rumbling past. Sometimes a shrill voice broke the stillness, sometimes
-a drunken song.
-
-The girls slept.
-
-At dawn a cool breeze moved the dingy window curtain. Maggy woke and
-peered through the gray light at Alexandra, sleeping.
-
-She looked as though she were dead and at peace.
-
-Maggy wondered if that was the better fate.
-
-
-
-
- VI
-
-
-De Freyne did not seem to notice the efforts of the two girls in obeying
-his instructions to smarten up their appearance: he said nothing. But
-for all that, the change did not escape him. Maggy, in the draped
-cashmere affair struck him as likely to appeal to a Jew or a gentleman
-from Manchester. He had a particular individual of each type in his
-mind, and awaited a propitious moment for exploiting her to one or the
-other. For the next few days the attention of the girls would have to
-be devoted to rehearsals, not men.
-
-De Freyne's exploitation of his chorus naturally had it roots in
-commercialism and self-interest. The girls themselves very seldom
-thanked him for his introductions. They were astute enough to
-understand that the advantage was at least mutual. Not that De Freyne
-expected any thanks. It was a trite observation of his that theatrical
-people were the most ungrateful lot in the world. He himself was a
-shining illustration of the dictum, but that did not lessen its truth.
-He got his "turn" from his wealthy stage-door dilettanti. It might be a
-social one in the shape of admittance to elevated circles; a select
-club, a shooting party, a cruise on a big yacht. Sometimes it was an
-invitation by a young and indiscreet member of the peerage to his
-country house and a photograph in the illustrated papers to proclaim it.
-De Freyne was very partial to reading beneath the group: "From left to
-right: The Marquis of Perth, Lady Angela Coniston, Sir Francis
-Manningtree, Mr. De Freyne...." This was prestige dear to his heart.
-He toed the line successfully between Society and Bohemianism. Most of
-the rich rascals and all the rich fools of the world were at his
-service.
-
-But what gave him most satisfaction was to be able to put an important
-City man under an obligation. It often resulted in special information
-concerning stocks and shares that brought him large profits. He would
-have sacrificed any girl's reputation for a one-fourth per cent. turn of
-the market, and frequently did so.
-
-In this regard he mentally pigeon-holed Maggy. It would not be difficult
-to find her a partner in the dance to which he should set the
-Mephistophelean measure. Alexandra he looked at with a cold eye. He
-wasn't sure of her. He had nothing to say against her looks, but he had
-no use for prudish high-steppers. Quick of apprehension where girls
-were concerned, he put her down in that category. The chorus would bear
-thinning out a bit. As a matter of policy, De Freyne always engaged
-more girls than he wanted.
-
-For another week rehearsals went on, growing more frequent and longer.
-The clever stage-manager goes nearer creating silk purses out of sows'
-ears than any human being. No one in the early days of rehearsal would
-associate the pouting, obtuse, wooden young woman with the airy fairy
-sylphs who ravish the eye on a first night; yet they are one and the
-same, trained by methods similar to those used in schooling performing
-animals, by coaxing, bullying and inexhaustible patience.
-
-When the chorus were at last up to concert pitch and the principals
-letter-perfect, the dress rehearsal took place. Maggy was in the front
-row, looking big and beautiful in a Futurist creation of rose fleshings
-and black chiffon. The front row girls were very carefully chosen for
-opulence of figure. Alexandra had been relegated to the back. She was
-disappointing in tights, which means nothing more than that if a butcher
-did not approve her an artist might.
-
-
-It was over at last, the long performance with its glitter, glare and
-gaiety. There was nothing in it, but all London would flock to see it
-because the music was catchy and the girls so pretty and the whole show
-so symbolical of the light side of life. For several days afterwards
-rehearsals were frequent. The usual "cuts" and alterations had to be
-made, the show licked into shape.
-
-On one of these occasions Maggy received a message from De Freyne. He
-wanted to see her. Leaving Alexandra in the dressing room she went up to
-the managerial office. It was nearly one o'clock.
-
-"I'm glad you took my advice," he said in a friendly tone. "You've been
-turning yourself out much better."
-
-"Thanks," Maggy answered. "Is that all?"
-
-"No. I'm going to put you in the way of dressing really well. A very
-decent chap wants to know you. You'll be lucky if he likes you."
-
-"That's your opinion. Well, he can like me as much as he likes. But
-I'm straight."
-
-De Freyne chewed the end of his mustache.
-
-"You get these silly notions from the girl you live with," he said
-impatiently. "I'll mix advice with a bit of prophecy. If you don't try
-and make yourselves more agreeable you'll find you're in--"
-
-"Queer Street?"
-
-"It's equivalent--Garrick Street and Maiden Lane--out of a shop. It
-doesn't hurt you to be nice to a fellow, does it? He may ask you to
-lunch. Duchesses lunch."
-
-"I'm not a duchess, and I'm particular who I lunch with."
-
-At the end of her sentence the door opened and a man looked in. He had
-heard her, and was amused.
-
-Maggy's look as she turned to acknowledge De Freyne's introduction was
-inimical. She knew perfectly well what that introduction portended. She
-must be hard. She had repulsed other men. She could take care of
-herself. But this man--what was his name--Woolf?--loomed tall and big
-over her, big as Fate, possessive. He exercised a spell: he appealed to
-her. She knew it in the first moment that she looked at him. She knew
-she would like to lunch with him, and that she would inwardly be
-disappointed if she had the strength of mind to refuse. When the
-invitation came she accepted it with cheeky reservation.
-
-"All right, Mr. Woolf, so long as you don't think I'm Little Red
-Riding-hood and included in the menu."
-
-The capitulation satisfied her conscience. Then she remembered
-Alexandra.
-
-"I must go and tell my friend not to wait for me," she said.
-
-"Miss Hersey?" supplied De Freyne. "You might also ask her to come in
-here in ten minutes, will you?"
-
-"My car's outside," said Woolf. "You'll find me at the stage-door."
-
-Maggy ran along to the dressing room where she had left Alexandra. The
-other girls had gone.
-
-"Lexie, I'm going out to lunch," she began breathlessly. "I wish you
-were coming too. Do you mind? I shan't be long. I'll cut home as
-quickly as I can."
-
-She could not hide her excitement. It showed in an added sparkle of the
-eyes, a catch in the voice. Alexandra wondered what else besides an
-invitation to lunch could have created this effect. It caused her vague
-uneasiness. But prospective enjoyment was so clearly written all over
-Maggy's face that she refrained from expressing it.
-
-"Of course I don't mind," she said. "I hope you will enjoy yourself."
-
-"You are a dear!" Maggy felt awkward. "You--you don't think it's wrong?"
-
-"There's nothing wrong in going to lunch with anybody. Especially if
-he's--all right, and knows you are, too."
-
-"He's nice, I think."
-
-"I'm glad. But be careful, Maggy."
-
-"Rather!"
-
-Maggy moved to one of the mirrors and took up a powder-puff.
-
-"You've got heaps on already," deprecated Alexandra.
-
-"Have I?" She powdered over the rouge. "I do look rather like puff
-pastry--in layers, don't I? Well, I haven't time to take any of it off.
-Lexie, De Freyne wants to see you in a minute or two. I don't think
-it's anything important. He seems in a good temper. Ta-ta, dear."
-
-She ran out and made for the stage-door where Woolf was waiting for her.
-His car, a big open one, was drawn up opposite it. Maggy wished the
-girls had not all gone. They had twitted her so often about her lack of
-a male escort. Now there was no one to see her get in.
-
-"Where are we going?" she asked. "The Savoy?"
-
-"Not this time," said Woolf. "My house is not far off."
-
-"I'd prefer the Savoy," she persisted, although she had never actually
-been to that restaurant.
-
-Woolf was the sort of man who invariably gets his own way with women.
-In addition to being characteristically obstinate he was indifferent to
-any opinion that clashed with his own. If it was one that suited him so
-much the better; if not, he ignored it. So long as he paid the piper he
-considered he had the right to call the tune. But before paying he
-scanned the bill carefully. He was not a gentleman. He met gentlemen
-sometimes, and was adaptive enough to be mistaken for one. He belonged
-to one or two nearly-good clubs. He was a man about town in the sense
-that he was to be seen wherever money could purchase an entrance.
-
-"You'll be quite chaperoned at my place," he assured Maggy. "I've a man
-and his wife."
-
-"I don't need a man and his wife to look after me," she retorted
-sharply.
-
-He gave her an attentive stare. "Who does look after you?" His meaning
-was obvious.
-
-"Myself, of course. Why don't we go to the Savoy?"
-
-"How persistent you are. Do you want to know why, really? Promise you
-won't be offended?"
-
-"If I am I'll hop out."
-
-"Well ... when you let me buy you some pretty clothes I'll take you
-there."
-
-He half expected she might "hop out," especially as the car had come to
-a standstill in a traffic block. She looked hot-tempered. But Maggy
-was too level-headed to be sensitive on the score of clothes.
-
-"I suppose that king in the story wouldn't have been seen with his
-beggar maid at the Savoy until he'd dressed her out," she remarked
-ironically. "Well, you won't go there with me any time, anyway."
-
-"Why not?"
-
-"Because this young woman provides her own wardrobe."
-
-"We shall see."
-
-Woolf liked her spirit, otherwise her independence might have irritated
-him.
-
-Arrived at his house he gave her in charge of his man's wife. Maggy
-disliked the woman on sight. There was something furtive about her. She
-gave the impression of being one who was used to waiting on ladies in a
-single man's house. Sly and secret amusement lurked in her eyes. She
-lingered, unostentatiously, while Maggy prinked herself in front of the
-glass. After a minute or two she turned, and intimated that she was
-ready.
-
-"Wouldn't you like to take off your hat, miss?"
-
-There was something unpleasantly insinuating in the smooth tones.
-
-"No, thanks," said Maggy shortly.
-
-"You've left your purse on the table, miss."
-
-"Have I? There's nothing in it. It'll be quite safe."
-
-The woman led the way downstairs and ushered her into a room
-half-library, half-drawing-room.
-
-"Find everything you wanted?" inquired Woolf, coming forward to meet
-her.
-
-"Yes, thanks. What a swanky bed-room! Silver hair-brushes and face
-powder and hairpins! Is it yours?"
-
-"No, it's the visitors' room. I'm glad you like it."
-
-"I didn't say I liked it. It looked as if you always had it ready for a
-lady. I don't like the look of your man's wife either."
-
-Woolf laughed at the downright expression of opinion.
-
-"She's all right," he said significantly. "She's as quiet as the grave
-and much deeper."
-
-"She's no good."
-
-"Who _is_! Are you?" He took her hand and tried to draw her to him.
-Maggy's form grew rigid.
-
-"Hands off," she said coolly. "There's nothing doing here."
-
-"Won't you let me kiss you?"
-
-"No."
-
-"Why not?"
-
-"For the same reason that I keep my hat on, and you don't. One's out of
-respect for me and the other's respect for myself."
-
-"You're a funny girl!" Woolf drew back and looked at her. "Why are you
-on the defensive?"
-
-"Haven't I need to be?"
-
-"Not with me, surely. I want to be friends with you."
-
-"Friends!" She threw up her chin aggressively. "I've only got one in
-the world."
-
-"And who is he?" Woolf asked with quick curiosity.
-
-"She's a girl. I chum with her."
-
-"Women can't be friends with each other," he asserted didactically.
-"Especially when they're of the same profession. A Hottentot woman and
-her civilized sister have only one occupation--the study and pursuit of
-man. You're like doctors, all at each other's throats. Some of you
-practise homeopathy, the others are allopaths. The first marry and take
-their husbands in small doses, the allopaths believe in quantity. Your
-friend would probably leave you to-morrow if she got a good enough
-chance."
-
-"Talk about some one you know," Maggy responded.
-
-The contentious conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Woolf's
-man announcing lunch. They went into the dining room. Maggy was hungry
-and did justice to an excellent meal. But she refused to drink anything
-stronger than lemon squash, and when Woolf pressed her for her reason
-for such abstinence she gave him none. She had seen her mother suffer
-from alcoholic excess. The smell of spirits always turned her sick.
-
-When they were alone Woolf leant towards her.
-
-"Now let's talk," he said. "What do you want me to do for you?"
-
-"Nothing," replied Maggy shortly.
-
-"Do you dislike me?"
-
-She looked at him and away again.
-
-"No. That doesn't mean you're fascinating. You're the sort of man who
-might get round a girl like me if I was fool enough to listen to you.
-Lexie--that's my chum--would tell you off at once."
-
-"I should think she's a man-hater." Woolf was beginning to feel a
-distinct antipathy towards Maggy's friend.
-
-"No, she isn't. Only men aren't much in our line. You can see prowling
-beasts without going to the Zoo."
-
-Maggy's conversational trick of generalizing led away from the point
-Woolf wanted to press.
-
-"You doubt me," he said. "You'd believe in me if I wanted to marry
-you--"
-
-"Oh, cut it! You don't!" she interjected.
-
-"Marriage is an institution for the protection of women who wear flannel
-petticoats. It doesn't follow that a girl can't trust a man because he
-offers her a lot more than most wives get."
-
-"He offers her a lot more because he knows it won't last for long. I'm
-practical."
-
-"If you were practical you'd listen to my offer."
-
-"Oh, I'll listen."
-
-"Well, I'd like to make you really comfortable. You ought to have a
-smart little place of your own, and dainty things, and money to spend."
-
-"It's as old as the hills. I daresay I'm not the only girl you've made
-that proposition to. Try somebody else. I'm going now."
-
-"You mean you won't think about it?"
-
-Maggy was silent for a minute.
-
-"Oh, I shall think about it right enough, don't you worry," she said in
-an odd voice. "I shall think about it when I'm hungry. I shall think
-about it when I'm tired. It's a long way from the theater to King's
-Cross Road. I shall think about it when I see the other girls sneering
-at me because I haven't got a boy. I shall think about it in the summer
-time when people go to the sea and take off their clothes, and I shall
-think of it in the winter when I'd like a few more on. You needn't
-think I don't know that you're tempting me." Her voice nearly broke.
-
-"Then be friends," urged Woolf again. "What's to prevent you?"
-
-"Lexie. Lexie would be cut up. Lexie has made me think more of myself
-since I've known her than I ever did before. If it wasn't for her do
-you think I'd traipse home night after night to that slummy little room
-that's dear at fifteen shillings a week? _She's_ not used to the life,
-and if she can hold out against it I ought to be able to who've never
-known anything better. Well, thanks for a nice lunch. You've fed the
-hungry. That's one good mark for you."
-
-Woolf led her back into the other room and shut the door.
-
-"You'll kiss me before you go," he said imperiously.
-
-He had her by the wrists. His strong grasp sent a thrill through her.
-Though she resisted she wished there were no harm in letting him kiss
-her, wished that his offer were not based on wrong-doing. It was not
-only because he could give her material things that she was tempted.
-She had stumbled across a man who made a direct call to her nature, and
-she knew it. De Freyne, callously unselective, could not have
-deliberately chosen an individual more likely to encompass Maggy's
-surrender. Woolf was not young: nearly forty. But he was so blatantly
-good-looking, so--so swaggering. Maggy knew he was selfish and probably
-a little unkind, possibly bad-tempered, that he would never care for a
-woman in the way that women crave to be cared for, tenderly,
-protectively. All the same, she knew that she would get too fond of him
-if she saw him often and that he would go to her head....
-
-Even now she felt dizzy. Her habitual self-confidence deserted her.
-She experienced an overmastering desire to fling herself into his arms
-and cry and cry, to tell him how difficult everything was, and how she
-had tried.... But she knew perfectly well that he would not understand.
-He was a man who would never understand women's feelings because he did
-not think them worth understanding. As long as there were women in the
-world, plenty of pretty ones, their feelings did not matter. Flowers
-did not feel when one picked them, or if they did, well, that was what
-they were there for: to be picked.
-
-"You don't want to kiss me against my will, do you?"
-
-Maggy struggled free. As a matter of fact Woolf's grasp had relaxed.
-He was quite ready for the interview to end. He had a business
-appointment at three and did not want to be late for it. If Maggy had
-offered him her soul at three that afternoon, or what interested him far
-more, her substance, he would not have foregone his appointment. That
-was the man.
-
-"Well, good-by," he said, without further persuasion. "You can go home
-in my car. I'll 'phone to the garage now."
-
-Maggy went to get her purse and gloves. When she returned Woolf was no
-longer in the room. It was five minutes to three.
-
-"The car is at the door, miss," the man told her. "Mr. Woolf had an
-appointment to keep. He asked me to say would you ring him up any time
-you wished to speak to him. This is his telephone number, miss." He
-handed her a card.
-
-He helped her into the car and tucked the linen rug round her with just
-that touch of familiarity which the good servant avoids. Maggy knew
-perfectly well what he and his wife thought about her. Unused as she
-was to servants, good or bad, she was quick enough to appreciate that
-they took their tone from their employer and his habits.
-
-She leant back in the car and gave herself up to the luxury of being
-driven in it. The celerity with which she was whirled from the
-affluence of Piccadilly and Regent Street to the grimy purlieus of the
-King's Cross Road had a disheartening effect upon her. When the
-chauffeur stopped at her door she was sure she saw disparagement in his
-face. He would return to his own place and tell Woolf's man and his
-wife to what sort of a lodging-house he had taken her, and they would
-make impertinent jokes at her expense. She despised herself for caring
-what the man thought or said. Alexandra wouldn't have cared a button.
-She would have scorned the man for scorning her.
-
-She went upstairs slowly. The period of reaction had arrived. It
-depressed her. The lunch was over; the pleasant excitation Woolf's
-company had aroused had died down. She felt "flat."
-
-To her surprise Alexandra was not in. She put the kettle on the
-gas-ring and took out their tea-cups from the cupboard where they were
-kept. She was rather glad she had got in before her friend. It would
-show how she cared about her, to have hurried home and made tea....
-Good old Lexie!
-
-At the sound of steps outside she called out:
-
-"Hurry up, Lexie. Tea!"
-
-It was Mrs. Bell, not Alexandra.
-
-"I've brought the bill," she observed, depositing a half sheet of paper
-on the table. "I'd be glad to have it squared soon. You're still
-one-ten behind."
-
-"We haven't got it yet."
-
-"You'll pay me soon? I shall have to let the room if you don't.
-Letting's all I have to depend on, you know. By the way, I ought to
-have told you, it'll be seventeen and six a week now instead of fifteen.
-The rents of these houses have gone up."
-
-"Since I drove here in a car," snapped Maggy. "We'll pay you and clear."
-
-"No, don't do that, dearie. Can't you just give me a bit on account?"
-
-Maggy opened her purse and held it upside down. She had given
-threepence to Woolf's woman, and the remaining threepence to the
-chauffeur. They had despised the coppers, naturally, and barely thanked
-her. They would not have thanked her at all but for the possibility
-that they might see her again under more affluent circumstances.
-
-"Something'll happen soon," said the woman, thinking of the car. "I'll
-treat you kind because I've a kind 'eart."
-
-She stood away from the door to let Alexandra, who had come up, pass
-into the room. Maggy looked up quickly. Something was wrong. She saw
-it at once.
-
-"So I'll let it stand over," went on Mrs. Bell. "The bill," she
-explained to Alexandra. "It seems as it's not convenient for you to pay
-it yet. It's disappointing, but I suppose--"
-
-"How much is it?" asked Alexandra in a dispirited voice.
-
-"Two pounds--five altogether with last week's bill."
-
-To Maggy's amazement Alexandra handed her the amount.
-
-"Write the receipt and go, please," she said.
-
-When they were alone Maggy stood still waiting for an explanation.
-
-"Where did you get it?"
-
-To add to her astonishment Alexandra began to cry brokenly. She had
-never seen her give way before.
-
-"Lexie, darling, what is it?" Her voice was sharp with alarm.
-
-Alexandra stopped crying as suddenly as she had begun.
-
-"A fortnight's salary in lieu of notice," she said. "I think I've been
-walking ever since. The pavements were hot, and--my head."
-
-Maggy said nothing more. With a world of sympathy in her touch she
-unpinned Alexandra's hat. Alexandra sat with her hands in her lap
-staring in front of her. Maggy knelt on the floor and gently drew off
-her friend's shoes, brought slippers and put them on, after which she
-poured out a cup of tea and silently put it before her.
-
-This was dire news. Lexie would tell her more by and by. Maggy knew
-she couldn't talk now. She couldn't have said a word herself without
-breaking down. Tea would relieve the tension.
-
-There came an irresolute knock at the door, and their landlady thrust in
-an arm and a plate.
-
-"Shrimps was passing so I've bought you a pint for a relish, dears,"
-came a conciliatory whine.
-
-To save argument Maggy took them and shut the door again.
-
-"W-what a mixture!" she gasped hysterically. "Temptation and tea,
-t-tears and--shrimps!"
-
-
-
-
- VII
-
-
-Alexandra began to tell about her sudden dismissal. De Freyne had been
-in a good temper and apparently had no grievance against her. Every one
-in the chorus knew there was always the chance of not being kept on for
-the run of the piece. He was the managerial autocrat of stageland and
-he did what he liked. A fortnight's notice or a fortnight's salary in
-lieu of notice discharged his obligations so far as his chorus was
-concerned.
-
-Quite formally and with much the same stereotyped form of regret as an
-editor employs in rejecting a suitable contribution, he told Alexandra
-that he did not feel himself justified in retaining her services.
-
-"Are you--dissatisfied with me?" she faltered, utterly taken aback.
-
-"No, not exactly. You're a hard worker."
-
-"Then--?"
-
-"I simply find I don't need you. I'm sorry, but there it is."
-
-"Is it--because I didn't get a new dress when you spoke to us? I
-couldn't afford to," she said simply.
-
-De Freyne fidgeted with some papers on his desk.
-
-"Oh, that's all finished and done with," he answered without looking at
-her.
-
-"But I'd like to know where I've failed, please, Mr. De Freyne. It's
-very important that I should know. I shall have to find another
-engagement."
-
-De Freyne gave her a searching look.
-
-"You may get on all right elsewhere," he said. "I'll tell you the truth
-for once in a way. You're not the right type. Don't you see you're not
-the sort of material I've got to provide? Hang it all, it's my living.
-Do you think I surround myself with the belles of Houndsditch and the
-Lord knows where because I like it? The only kind of girl I've any use
-for is the one who, besides working in business hours, makes a show in
-smart places the rest of her time. Miss Mortimer was a good instance of
-what I mean until she got swelled head. You're a lady and you won't do.
-Forget you are one and you can stop on or come back again. I mean
-that."
-
-She knew what he meant, and since she had no intention of modeling
-herself on Miss Mortimer she also did not attempt to argue the matter.
-De Freyne, for some unaccountable reason, tried to justify himself.
-
-"I daresay you think me a sort of understudy to Apollyon, but if you'll
-look at things impartially I'm not as bad as all that. The girls I
-engage come to me knowing I can find them the best market. I give them
-far better chances than they can get anywhere else. You and your friend
-are--accidents. You have either got to clear or--conform. In the case
-of your friend, don't you think it's rather a shame to persuade her to
-buck up against things? She's not like you. It's not doing her a good
-turn. I've given her a chance to-day...."
-
-He let the words sink in.
-
-Alexandra left the theater, dismissed.
-
-Her luck looked desperately bad. It was unlikely that she would get
-another engagement until the autumn, if then. It was a long time to
-wait. True, she might go and stay with her nearest relatives, the
-Anglo-Indian Colonel, his wife and daughters, but they lived in
-Devonshire. Once in Devonshire it was morally certain that she would
-have to remain there, dependent on people with whom she had nothing in
-common. Her purse would not allow her to make frequent journeys to
-London to find work.
-
-She did not want to give up the stage without a struggle. It would be
-horribly humiliating to own herself beaten. She believed in her
-dramatic ability. She was not afraid of roughing it, but she had not
-seen the rocks ahead. When she turned over in her mind other ways of
-earning a living difficulties presented themselves. She could not do
-office work: she knew nothing of shorthand or typewriting. She might
-apply for the post of children's governess or companion, but would she
-be acceptable for either? There would be questions as to her previous
-experience. All she would be able to cite would be a fortnight's
-stage-work in the chorus, hardly the right qualification for a guardian
-of youth or companionship to a lady! She could picture the instinctive
-drawing-back of a prospective employer and the murmured "I'm afraid you
-won't do...."
-
-No, she would have to go on as she had begun or drop by the way.
-
-She walked the sun-blistered pavements, hardly noticing where she was
-going, trying to think what to do, where to go. The same old
-heart-rending round would begin again--Denton's, Blackmoore's, Hart's,
-the lesser known agencies, and "nothing for you to-day. Look in again,
-dear."
-
-How she was going to live she simply did not know. A fortnight's
-salary! ... She could not guess how many hundreds of men and women of
-the same profession as herself were facing the same problem without even
-the fortnight's salary between them and destitution.
-
-Then there was Maggy. Unless Maggy "conformed," she would be told to go
-too. De Freyne's words stuck in her mind: "Isn't it rather a shame to
-persuade her to buck up against things? It's not doing her a good turn."
-"Things," of course, was a euphemism for Fate. She had never meant to
-impose her own moral views on Maggy. She didn't want to spoil her
-material prospects. Maggy had shown again and again that it was only on
-her, Alexandra's, account that she had elected to make a stand. There
-was ever a hint of irresolution behind her apparent firmness. Alexandra
-was fairly sure that if Maggy found a man who would gain her affection
-and treat her well she would be ready to be convinced that there was no
-harm in an unlegalized union. That she had not succumbed in the past was
-no argument that she would remain unassailable in the future. Alexandra
-was perhaps standing in her light. In one sense she was protecting her,
-in the other she was taking the bread out of her mouth. She did not
-feel herself privileged to coerce the younger girl when she could not
-help her or even help herself. Maggy was not fiercely virginal. Once
-she had taken the initial step she would lose her sensitiveness. Nature
-would demand that she take it sooner or later. She was frail, because
-at heart she was so simple, so unhesitatingly unafraid to go where her
-instincts led her.
-
-Alexandra made up her mind that she would not try to influence her. It
-was not fair. But she hoped she would not yield to temptation.
-Something in the thought of Maggy surrendering twisted her heartstrings.
-It made her feel so dreadfully sorry. It was as though she dimly
-foresaw that if Maggy snatched at the sham thing Joy, she would see it
-turn to sorrow, to dust and ashes....
-
-She found herself before the door of their lodging. She had walked
-there mechanically with dragging steps. De Freyne had said that he had
-given Maggy a chance that afternoon. Alexandra recalled her happy,
-flushed face, the look of excitation in her eyes. Maggy had evidently
-liked the man, whoever he was. It was only three o'clock. She did not
-expect her back yet. She was probably still enjoying herself
-tremendously. Alexandra wondered how much Maggy cared for her after all,
-how soon before she would leave her to fight it out alone.
-
-
-And she found Maggy in before her. Maggy had made tea, she had taken
-off Alexandra's hat and knelt down and drawn off her shoes....
-
-Alexandra put down her cup and stretched out her hand across the table.
-Maggy took it and gave it a squeeze.
-
-"There's a bit of poetry I learnt once," she said. "I say it whenever I
-feel the limit. It's a sort of psalm.
-
- "All's well with the world, my friend,
- And there isn't an ache that lasts;
- All troubles will have an end,
- And the rain and the bitter blasts.
-
- There is sleep when the evil is done,
- There's substance beneath the foam;
- And the bully old yellow sun will shine
- Till the cows come home!"
-
-
-"Can't you see 'em in your mind's eye, Lexie dear, a string of
-them--brown ones with soft eyes--their heads moving from side to side,
-coming down the long lane just round the turning ... and the sun shining
-behind them through clouds.... Cheer up, ducky!"
-
-
-
-
- VIII
-
-
-Maggy said very little about Woolf. On certain topics there was a
-barrier of silence between the two girls, imposed by Alexandra. Maggy
-was disposed to be utterly unreserved, crude. Brought up in stage
-surroundings she had heard undiscussable things talked of openly all her
-life. Alexandra showed such distaste for laxity of speech that Maggy
-now refrained from touching on the subject of sex almost entirely. Had
-she been unreserved about Woolf, his conversation with her and her own
-attitude toward him, she would have had to show herself in a light that
-Alexandra would have disliked and certainly not understood.
-
-Maggy was never quite sure in her mind whether Alexandra was very cold
-by nature or completely reserved. She, herself, belonged to the type of
-woman, not a rare one, who can discuss her marital relations with others
-with a frankness that no man would ever dream of employing when speaking
-of his wife to his most intimate friend. Alexandra, except under
-extraordinary stress, would be as secretive as a man. To discuss sexual
-emotions or indulge in speculation about them with another girl was a
-thing quite foreign to her. At school she had, in that sense, been a
-being apart, while the other girls whispered in corners. Instinctively
-she shrank from having her mind contaminated by second-hand knowledge of
-the most vital and delicate functions of nature.
-
-Her upbringing had been different from Maggy's. Maggy's mind had been
-forced prematurely on the hot-bed of theatrical laxity. Alexandra's
-life, up till the last year, had been one of calm and sweet
-companionship with an adored mother. She had lived a healthy, normal
-existence, met men of her own class who would no more have dreamt of
-thinking irreverently of her than of their own mothers or sisters. She
-was aware that strong passions, illicit unions, and trouble and misery
-resulting from immorality, did exist in the world. She read of these
-things in newspapers and the books that were never kept from her; but
-these passions and unions and dissolving of unions seemed things that
-did not touch her class.
-
-She came into active collision with them for the first time when she
-went on the stage. She could not shut her eyes to the condition of
-things there any more than she could shut her ears to the sordid
-language of the girls in their common dressing room. But it made her
-ashamed to be a woman, a being of the same sex. These girls thought of
-men only in one way. The men whom they spoke of as their "boys" or
-their "friends" were certainly not any coarser in mind than the girls
-themselves. They had no more reserves of speech than factory-hands.
-There were exceptions here and there, but being exceptions they were
-negligible as a power of reform.
-
-Some girls attained their positions legitimately, she knew; but how few?
-One could count them on the fingers of one hand. Every one of them had
-had some one, a mother or a father to look after them, a father who
-waited at the stage-door every night, a comfortable home. They had been
-dressed well by their people. Though in the chorus, they had never
-known its strain and stress, for they had not been of it. Its hardships
-and temptations had, so to speak, been screened from them, and they had
-been curiously impervious to its language. Hence it was that their
-reputations had not suffered.
-
-Even out of musical comedy how few illustrious names were unassociated
-with scandal. Alexandra had heard the true story of how one of
-England's most prominent actresses was selected for her first important
-part--that of a courtesan. An actress sufficiently convincing in the
-role could not be found, till at last the author of the play exclaimed
-in exasperation: "Well, if we can't get the actress, let's have the
-woman." The equivalent had been lauded by the Press and the public, and
-the author's fees had not appreciably diminished!
-
-Alexandra knew now that her own chance of succeeding through hard work
-or any talent she might possess was about one in a thousand. She learnt
-of the many capable actors and actresses--some of them more than
-capable--who were touring the provinces year after year, and would wear
-out their souls and their lives touring the provinces. It was more than
-a hard struggle for the women: women were scarcely given a fighting
-chance.
-
-Yet all she could do was to fight, fight all the time so as not to drop
-out; to make a bare living, not to lose sight of ambition's pinnacle
-while she was forced to dwell in the plains of penury. But as regards
-Maggy she would not influence her one way or the other. Maggy would
-have to decide for herself.
-
-During the ensuing week they were less together than they had ever been.
-In the morning Maggy was at the theater while Alexandra went the round
-of the stage-doors to see if there was a chance of her being taken on.
-Very often they did not meet till after the show in the evening. For
-the first two nights Alexandra had gone to meet Maggy and had walked
-back with her; but now Maggy came home in Woolf's car. She said nothing
-about him. Alexandra asked no questions.
-
-
-
-
- IX
-
-
-"I've got something to show you," Woolf said. "Hop in."
-
-Maggy got into the car. She had been lunching with Woolf at his house.
-He always sent her to Sidey Street in his car, but never went there with
-her. He hated slums and mean streets. He had been born and bred in them
-and had had enough of them.
-
-"Coming too?" she asked.
-
-"Yes. I'm going to take you to see something I've just fixed up. I
-want to know what you think of it. It's a flat."
-
-"Oh."
-
-He got in beside her and set the car going. Maggy had been holding him
-at arm's length all the afternoon. He was getting a little tired of the
-pursuit and intended it should end. He could not associate Maggy with
-protracted virtue. If she persisted in this pose--for he thought it was
-a pose--he would lose interest in her. He had told her as much at
-lunch.
-
-"Oh, rubbish!" Maggy had responded, munching at a pear that only a rich
-man could afford to buy out of season. "Courting's a change for you."
-
-"It's too much trouble. In business I work hard. I know what I want
-and I go on till I get it. With women I don't want hard work. Besides,
-unripe fruit is sour. It's best when it's ready to fall."
-
-"Then you've come under the wrong tree," she said cheekily.
-
-But she knew that the fruit was trembling on its stem--ripe.
-
-"About this flat," she said, when they were on their way, "are you
-thinking of moving?"
-
-"No."
-
-Woolf turned and looked at her intently. She could not face the
-searching in his eyes; she blushed and was angry with herself.
-
-"I don't see what you want my opinion for, anyway," she said, to cover
-her confusion.
-
-"It's funny, but I do."
-
-He said no more. Maggy's thoughts occupied her for the rest of the
-drive. She sat back in her seat, out of contact with Woolf. When he
-was close to her, or his clothing touched her, a breathless sensation
-assailed her, sapping her strength.
-
-The flat he took her to see was a furnished one in Bloomsbury, small but
-attractive in her eyes. It contained a bedroom, a bathroom and a sitting
-room. Meals were obtainable at a reasonable price in a restaurant
-attached to the building. The rooms had every appearance of being lived
-in. There were flowers in sitting room and bedroom, magazines, a box of
-chocolates: on the bedroom dressing-table was a brand-new silver
-toilette set and brushes. Among the pictures on the walls, framed in
-black and gold, were several studies of female figures in the nude. The
-electric lights were rose-shaded.
-
-Maggy was entranced with the place. She forgot her defensive attitude
-and showed frank pleasure in all she saw. She fingered the silver
-brushes lovingly, smelt the flowers, munched a chocolate.
-
-The white-tiled bathroom with its plated fittings appealed to her
-strongly.
-
-"Hot and cold!" she murmured. "Not in bits but all at once. Scrummy!"
-
-"What are you talking about?" said Woolf, amused.
-
-"In Sidey Street we have a foot-bath and wash in bits," she explained
-frankly. "I've dreamt of baths like this. I've never had one."
-
-She turned on the taps with the fascination of a child, and watched the
-water run.
-
-"So you like it all?"
-
-"I should just think I did!"
-
-She perched on the edge of the bath, swinging a foot.
-
-"You've really taken it?"
-
-"For three years."
-
-"Who's coming to it?"
-
-"It's for a good girl."
-
-"You mean for a bad girl," she pouted.
-
-"She'll be good--to me."
-
-"Well, I hope she'll like it."
-
-He took her two hands. "So do I, Maggy. She's said so, anyway."
-
-"Meaning me?"
-
-He nodded.
-
-"You've taken it on the chance that I'll come?"
-
-"It's got to be completely furnished. If it wasn't you it would
-probably be some one I didn't care about half so much. But it's going
-to be you, isn't it, Maggy?"
-
-"For three years!" Her voice trembled. "And after? What happens when
-the agreement's run out? Has the girl got to be like the flat--taken on
-by some one else? There was a play, wasn't there, a few years ago,
-called 'Love and What Then?' It didn't last long."
-
-She got up and went back into the sitting room. Woolf followed her.
-
-"Won't you trust me and come?"
-
-"If I came I should come without trusting you. I'm not the kind that
-tiles herself in. I suppose I should let things rip."
-
-"Well, it's yours for the taking. Only you've got to decide--now."
-
-And suddenly Maggy's defenses broke down. She felt the frail bulwarks of
-her unsheltered girlhood crumbling around her.
-
-"It wouldn't be for the bathroom or the bedroom or what you'd give me,"
-she said huskily.
-
-"Wouldn't it?"
-
-His arms were about her.
-
-"No," she whispered. "It's you."
-
-
-Woolf gave her a little Yale key.
-
-"Here it is. Let yourself in when you want to take possession."
-
-He had tea sent up from the restaurant and they had it together in the
-cosy sitting room. Maggy was very subdued. She would go back to Sidey
-Street only to pack the few personal possessions she treasured. She
-hoped, was almost sure, Alexandra would be out. She dared not face her
-just yet.
-
-"I'll bring you back after the show to-night," Woolf reminded her when
-they parted. "Don't forget I've given you the key."
-
-"I've given you more than a key," said Maggy.
-
-
-
-
- X
-
-
-"Lexie, I feel a beast, but I've got to go. You'll never understand.
-That's why I've said so little about him. Woolf, I mean. It isn't only
-what he can give me, though it does mean something too. I'm wrong
-somewhere, I suppose. I don't think about it like you do. And it's all
-right for girls like me. Perhaps it's the only thing. You'll never want
-to see me again. That's the one part that doesn't bear thinking about.
-I don't suppose you'll believe I care a hang for you now, but I do, even
-though it's too late to go on living with you if I wanted to. The other
-thing was stronger, that's all. I had a little Persian cat once. I
-used to let her out for exercise on a string because I was afraid of
-losing her. But she got out when I wasn't looking all the same and
-disappeared for three days. She couldn't help it, poor dear. It was
-just her nature. I expect I'm like that cat. I was bound to go on the
-tiles. You'll think that vulgar. I am vulgar all through. That's the
-difference between us.
-
-"You've been the best chum in the world, dear. I can't thank you
-properly. I'm a rotter. I've left my cash on the dressing-table. I
-don't want it. Fred Woolf will be looking after me. Take it, do
-please. What's the use of starving when you needn't. Good-by, Lexie.
-You may not believe it, but I'm crying and I _do_ care.
-
-"MAGGY."
-
-
-
-
- XI
-
-
-Mrs. Bell came into the room with the supper tray. It was mostly tray.
-The supper consisted of two cups of cocoa, half a loaf of bread and an
-atom of butter. She gave her lodger an inquisitive glance as she spread
-the tablecloth. Alexandra had Maggy's letter in her hand, and her face
-was woefully sad.
-
-"You need not lay for two," she said quietly. "Miss Delamere won't be
-here in future."
-
-The bald statement was sufficient for Mrs. Bell. Ever since the day when
-Maggy had been brought to her door in a private car she had more or less
-been prepared for this denouement. The association of chorus-girls and
-cars in her experience had but one meaning: a rise for the former in the
-plane of life with a concomitant and much-to-be-desired acceleration of
-the pace at which it may be lived.
-
-"I'm glad she's found a friend," she observed cheerfully. "She's the
-sort that's made for a man to look at. Have you seen her chap yet, Miss
-Hersey?"
-
-"I don't want to talk about Miss Delamere's affairs," winced Alexandra.
-
-"You're upset, I can see. I'm not denying it's hard to see a friend
-carried off like that." Mrs. Bell Bell shook her head deprecatingly.
-"It's a trying place, the stage. I wouldn't go back to it myself, not
-if I was paid like a Pavlova. I'd rather toil and moil for Mr. Bell
-downstairs all the days of my life." And having thus asserted her claim
-to respectability, conjugal endurance and a taste for sour grapes, with
-admirable conciseness she felt she was privileged to ask another
-question: "Have you got a shop yet, dear?"
-
-"No, it's the wrong time of year."
-
-"You can't wait till the autumn?"
-
-"No."
-
-"Then what'll you do?"
-
-"I'm not thinking of myself just now. It doesn't matter," said
-Alexandra wearily.
-
-"I know. You're bothering your poor head about Miss Delamere. Don't
-you fret. She's got some one to look after her. That's better than
-looking after yourself. I daresay she's sleeping in a creep de sheeny
-nightdress to-night with real lace on her pillows."
-
-"Don't talk like that!" Alexandra shuddered.
-
-"Well, it's no good trying to walk clean on a muddy road. Drink your
-cocoa while it's hot, dearie. If you're on the stage you must go on
-like the angels in heaven, doing what Rome does, where there's very
-little marriage or giving in marriage." Mrs. Bell's metaphor was mixed,
-but her views were definite. "That's why I would rather see my own girl
-lying here at my feet dead and smiling in her coffin than in the
-profession. She's a respectable upper housemaid," she finished
-comfortably, as she closed the door behind her.
-
-Alexandra tried to eat a little dry bread. The butter was rancid. She
-ended by giving up the attempt. Her throat ached. She leant her head
-on the table. It ached as much as her heart and throat did. Her whole
-body was permeated with the pain of unshed tears.
-
-Maggy had gone.
-
-Except for the letter, which was final enough, it was difficult to
-realize. She had not even taken her box, only a small handbag. Her
-possessions had been so pitifully meager. Her wooden-backed brush and a
-metal comb were still on the dressing-table, but the cheap German silver
-powder box and her rouge and cream pots were gone; there was the
-nightdress case on her bed in the crochet work that was Maggy's hobby
-with the big badly-worked M in washed-out greens and pinks. Wrapped in a
-little screw of paper was the money she had left behind. She had taken
-Alexandra's photograph, and for some reason she had turned the face of
-her own to the wall.
-
-A wild desire came to Alexandra to run out, late as it was, go to Maggy
-and bring her back. Then she remembered that she did not even know
-where Maggy was. She was gone and that was all; swallowed up in the
-immensity of London; captured by some man unknown.
-
-The realization that Maggy had deliberately stolen away at the call of
-exigency hurt her acutely. Passion had never touched Alexandra. Just
-now she could only feel impatience with one who was moved by it to
-extremes. But mingled with the distaste for a thing she could not
-comprehend was compassion for her friend. Some part of Maggy must be
-suffering, sorry. No woman surrenders herself without some secret,
-sacred regret.
-
-She sat thinking, trying not to think, for hours. Finally, she undressed
-and, in the darkness, said her prayers. She felt they were futile,
-childish.... She turned her face to the wall so that she should not see
-the ghostly outline of Maggy's narrow, empty bed.
-
-As the hours passed and sleep did not come she began to wonder if it
-were not all a dream. The idea took hold of her. Of course, Maggy had
-not gone....
-
-She sat up and spoke her name across the darkness.
-
-"Maggy!"
-
-Although there was no answer, the tantalizing obsession was still upon
-her. She got out of bed and crossed over to Maggy's, feeling above the
-coverlet for the comforting touch of the warm, sleepy body. The
-coverlet was flat, the sheets cool. Maggy had gone.
-
-She groped her way back to her own bed, and at last tears came, and with
-tears, sleep.
-
-By the morning, the sharp edge of her feelings was somewhat blunted.
-She was still sorry, but not passionately sorry. Those who have wept
-for their dead with the poignancy of first grief experience much the
-same dulling of the emotions. It precedes the inevitable resignation,
-without which they could not again take up the lonely burden of life.
-
-Maggy was lost to her, as lost to her as if she had died. She had not
-the consolation of knowing that she would see her again, alive,
-exuberantly happy, unregretting, and that this feeling would pass. She
-did not know then that across the barrier of her frailty Maggy would
-hold out her strong, young, eager hands, and that she, Alexandra, would
-grasp them in unalterable love and friendship.
-
-She put away the money Maggy had wanted her to take until she could give
-it back to her, and directly she had had her breakfast, started for the
-theatrical agents' offices. They opened at ten. She had small hope of
-obtaining anything at any of them. The principals did not know her by
-sight. When one of them made an occasional dart into the waiting room
-and gave a quick glance round she was only "one of a crowd."
-
-At such times there would be a little stir and scrimmage amongst the men
-and women in which she would not share. Men would elbow women, women
-elbow men in their efforts to catch the agent's eye or better still his
-sleeve. And he would shake them off in a precipitate passage from his
-own room to that of his partner's at the other end of the waiting room.
-Alexandra knew his short, little, staccato, stock sentences by heart.
-
-"Nothing for you to-day, dear." (Shake her off.)
-
-"Sorry, my dear, I can't stop." (Shake her off.)
-
-"No, my dear, I--oh, it's you. Stop behind. I'll see you later."
-(Pressure of the hand.)
-
-"Nothing in your line to-day, old fellow." (Shake him off.)
-
-Perhaps a fleeting look at Alexandra, so that she was in doubt as to
-whether she had been noticed or not.
-
-Then the crowd would wait on, lessened by the few who lost heart and
-went on to other agencies. The assembly varied little in any of these
-refuges of the out-of-works. There you would find every specimen of
-stageland: the sprightly young man with an eye stimulated hopefully by
-sherry from the adjacent Bodega, dressed in the last fashionable suit
-left from his wardrobe, his waistcoat pocket bulging with pawntickets;
-the old actor with a blue chin, a red nose and a kindly smile,
-unctuously imparting the latest "wheeze" to a brother comedy-merchant;
-the hard-eyed woman of forty, rouged, smelling of spirits and patchouli,
-consumed with inward wrath because of the refusal of managers to
-entertain her applications for youthful parts; the fresh-looking girl
-with an air of country lanes and a pigtail, who nevertheless was bred
-and born at Stratford-at-Bow; the seedy advance-agent, vainly trying to
-adopt a managerial air; the plump and cheery chorister with no ambitions
-beyond thirty shillings a week and a long pantomime run; her male
-compeer nourishing a secret belief that he could "wipe the floor" with
-every tenor on the boards.
-
-Eleven, twelve, one o'clock, and still the patient crowd would linger on
-in the agents' offices, chattering intermittently, giggling
-occasionally, desperately anxious all the same, eyes ever glancing
-toward the two shut doors.
-
-At one would come the unwelcome news, spoken by the young man who kept
-the accounts and made out the contracts:
-
-"Mr. Whitehead's gone to lunch. Won't be back to-day. No use waiting."
-
-How quickly the room emptied! Alexandra did not know that a goodly
-proportion of its habitues would quickly foregather for consultation and
-refreshment in Rule's or the Bodega, where the atmosphere was redolent
-of alcoholic odors, curiously aromatic, sonorous with sustained
-conversation and the low chuckle of the comedians.
-
-One saw the same faces again after the luncheon hour, at Denton's, at
-Hart's, at Paul Stannard's, a little less hopeful, a little more tired
-as the day went on.
-
-Paul Stannard had got Alexandra her engagement at De Freyne's. She went
-to him again now. She liked him. He was a gentleman by birth, had
-drifted on to the stage, loathed it, could not get free of it, and ended
-by running a theatrical agency with fair success. He did not call all
-girls "dear," only the ones that liked it, and was more accessible to
-the rank and file than most agents.
-
-"I thought I had fixed you up with De Freyne," he said. "His show's in
-for a long run. Couldn't stick it?"
-
-"Mr. De Freyne told me to go."
-
-Alexandra was tired. She could hardly stand.
-
-"Sit down," invited Stannard. "Up against it?"
-
-"Well, I've nothing to do. It's serious."
-
-"I'm sorry." He turned over the leaves of a big book on his desk. "And
-I can't help you. Nothing's doing, except a sextette for Rio."
-
-"Can't I go?" she asked eagerly.
-
-"My God, no!"
-
-He put his hands in his pockets and surveyed her compassionately.
-Belonging as he did to the class that shelters its women it still hurt
-him to see women engaged in fighting for bread. It was more desperate
-still when they fought for honor too, or held it above the price of
-bread.
-
-"Why did you send me to the Pall Mall if you knew they wouldn't
-want--any one straight-laced?"
-
-"I can't ask every girl who comes to me for a job to sign an affidavit
-concerning her morals. Why are you on the stage at all if you've got
-different ideas to the others? You haven't an earthly. Might as well
-buy a toothbrush."
-
-"Buy a toothbrush?"
-
-"To sweep out an Augean stable." He scribbled some addresses on a half
-sheet of paper. "There's just a chance these aren't filled up. Mention
-my name. I don't hold out any hope, though." He hesitated for a
-minute. "Are you bound to go on at this? Haven't you a home to go to?"
-
-"I'm bound to go on," she said, trying to keep the desperate note out of
-her voice.
-
-"Well, good luck." Stannard held open the door for her.
-
-"Poor devil!" he said as he shut it.
-
-
-
-
- XII
-
-
-All the names which Stannard had given her were those of minor managers.
-It was late in the season and their companies would in all probability
-be made up and booked for the road. Still she went to them. There was
-a bare chance that one of them might have a vacancy. For two hours she
-hung about their offices waiting for an interview, only to waste her
-time in the end. "Full up" was the answer she got to each application.
-The last place she called at was situated in a block of buildings off
-Shaftesbury Avenue. As she left it a door facing her on the opposite
-side of the passage opened and a man in a frock coat and silk hat came
-out. He stopped short, looked her up and down and spoke.
-
-"Excuse me, but are you out of an engagement?"
-
-"Yes," she replied, a last glimmer of hope flickering within her, the
-silk hat suggesting something managerial.
-
-The stranger's next words confirmed her in this idea.
-
-"I believe you're the very person I've been looking for for a week. The
-question is, can you sing?"
-
-"Yes."
-
-"Then come in."
-
-He threw the door open again and followed her in. The room contained
-two chairs, a desk, a small grand piano, one or two playbills on the
-walls and several diagrams of the larynx, looking not unlike a map of
-the tube railways.
-
-"This is my practise room and therefore bare," he explained. "It's bad
-to sing in a room blocked up with furniture. Breaks up the voice, you
-know. By the way, my name's Norburton--Gerald Norburton. You may have
-heard of it," he added modestly.
-
-Alexandra had heard of it. The name was that of a singer of some
-repute.
-
-"Oh, then, you're not an agent," she said, a little disappointed.
-
-"Lord, no." The idea seemed to amuse him. "Fact of the matter is this:
-my friend, Maurice Haines, wrote to me the other day--here's his
-letter--asking me to find him a likely girl for a sketch he has booked
-at the Palace. He'd engaged some one, but she's just gone in for
-appendicitis. Funny thing, appendicitis. Has it ever occurred to
-you--" The blank look in Alexandra's face constrained him to keep to
-business. "So he appeals to me, thinking that as a singer I might know
-some one likely. But I didn't--not until I saw you. If you can sing
-it's a sure thing." He read from the letter he had been searching for.
-
-"'She must be tall and dark and a lady. Youth essential. Of course she
-must have a well-trained voice, but previous experience doesn't matter.
-I'll look in next week, and if you know a girl who will do, for heaven's
-sake have her round. The sketch is booked for the next six months,
-first here and then in the leading provincial towns. I'll pay ten
-pounds a week for the right woman.'
-
-"What do you think of that?"
-
-"It seems to me it depends on my voice," said Alexandra.
-
-"That's it. Do you mind singing me something? Here's a pile of songs.
-Pick out one you know."
-
-She found a song. Norburton played the accompaniment. She had an idea
-she was singing well and hoped he would think so. When she finished,
-she had the impression that he was not satisfied.
-
-"I'm afraid you're disappointed," she said, with foreboding.
-
-"No, not exactly. You've a nice voice. You want to know how to pitch
-it better. As it is it won't carry. I believe I could teach you in
-five days, before Haines comes round."
-
-"I couldn't expect you to do that."
-
-"But I _do_ teach," he laughed. "Do you doubt my capability? I assure
-you that besides being a public singer I get three guineas for every
-half-hour lesson I give."
-
-"What I meant was," said Alexandra, "that I couldn't expect you to coach
-me for nothing, and I couldn't pay enough to make it worth your while."
-
-He appeared to think.
-
-"I want to do my best for Haines," he said. "Look here. I'll give you
-five lessons--one every day for ten minutes--and you can pay me what you
-can afford, five shillings a lesson, say."
-
-She colored. "That's charity."
-
-"No. I really want to help Haines."
-
-Now Alexandra had little more than five shillings in her purse. The
-next quarterly payment of her annuity would not be due for a fortnight.
-In the meantime all she possessed was some old jewelry that had belonged
-to her mother. There was the money Maggy had left behind her, but she
-was not going to touch that.
-
-"I should like you to teach me. It's very good of you," she said.
-"Would you take this instead of money? It's worth a little more than
-five five-shilling lessons." She tendered him a ring with a single
-pearl in an antique setting. A pawnbroker would have lent her five
-pounds on it. She was anxious that he should take the ring. It would
-make her feel less under an obligation to him.
-
-Apparently he appreciated her feelings.
-
-"That's very pretty of you," he said. "It fits my little finger, too.
-Would you rather I took it?" There was a shade of reluctance in his
-voice.
-
-"Much rather."
-
-"Well, thank you very much. Now I must pull you through by a little
-teaching. Can you have your first lesson now? No time like the
-present, is there? Stand in the corner over there to the right. Now,
-sing 'ah' on middle C. Keep your tongue well down. Give it room--give
-it room! Swell it out! You'll do very well," he said, after ten
-minutes. "To-morrow, same time. I'll drop Haines a line. Don't thank
-me, please."
-
-Another girl came in as Alexandra went out. She heard Norburton tell her
-she was early.
-
-"Have you heard from Mr. ----" She thought the name mentioned was
-Haines, but argued she must have been mistaken. The girl was fair and
-short, not at all the type Norburton's friend wanted. Alexandra assumed
-she must be one of the singer's private pupils, and thought no more
-about her.
-
-For the next four days she came for her lessons, and at the end of that
-time Norburton told her he was quite satisfied with the result.
-
-"Haines will be here to-morrow at eleven," he told her. "Don't worry,
-you'll get the engagement."
-
-All the same she did worry. She pinned her hopes on it. She had
-curtailed her food down to the irreductible minimum. Privation showed
-in her looks. She was not a big eater, but her physique demanded good
-and nourishing food, which now she never got. She wanted new shoes and
-gloves badly. These she could not manage to do without indefinitely.
-She began to lose confidence in herself in these days. She knew her
-appearance was noticeably shabby, and that she was getting the delicate
-look that employers dislike. One cannot say to the man from whom one is
-hoping for an engagement: "I'm pale, but I'll look better when I can
-afford to feed myself properly. My clothes are shabby, but they would
-be in rags if I hadn't looked after them as if they were priceless
-brocades. And I'm not poor and hungry and out of an engagement because
-I've no talent, but because I've certain principles that I've brought to
-the wrong place. Give me a chance and don't ask anything else of me."
-
-At five minutes to eleven the next day she was in Shaftesbury Avenue.
-Outside Mr. Norburton's door some ten or twelve girls were waiting. They
-looked a mixed lot, all of them anxious, poor and shabby.
-
-"He told me ten," said one of them, "and he's not here yet."
-
-"I've been here since half-past nine," said another.
-
-One bold spirit rapped sharply on the door.
-
-As a result one next to it bearing a brass plate and a solicitor's name
-was opened and a man put his head out and angrily demanded:
-
-"Who's making that row? If you're waiting to see the fellow who had
-that room, he's gone. Went away yesterday afternoon."
-
-"Meaning Mr. Norburton?" asked one of the girls.
-
-"I don't know what his name was. He's gone, anyhow. It's no good
-waiting about and making a noise."
-
-He shut the door. The girls stared at one another blankly.
-
-"I want to know the meaning of this," said one of them truculently.
-"P'raps the caretaker can tell us." She clattered down the stone
-stairs, and half a dozen of the others followed her.
-
-A fair girl standing next to Alexandra spoke to her.
-
-"Did you want to see Mr. Norburton too?"
-
-"Yes, but I'm afraid I shan't." Alexandra felt faint.
-
-"I don't think we shall either. It's my belief we've been done. Did he
-give you lessons?"
-
-"Five."
-
-"I had five, too," nodded the girl. "Two pounds I paid the blighter.
-He said I'd suit Mr. Haines a treat. Read me a letter saying he wanted
-a fair girl with a good figure and contralto voice-- What's that? It
-was a 'tall and dark' to you! My hat! What did _you_ pay?"
-
-"I gave him a pearl ring."
-
-"O-oh!" Her eyes went round. "I saw it on his finger. Then you were
-hard up?"
-
-"I had the ring, but not the money to pay him."
-
-"And I had the money. And I haven't got it now."
-
-One of the girls who had gone to make enquiries below came up again.
-
-"Thought I'd come and tell you," she panted. "It's true. He's gone,
-right enough. The piano was hired and it's been fetched away. He's done
-seventeen of us, the beast! His name isn't Norburton at all, but Easton
-or Weston, I forget which. If the real Mr. Norburton or Maurice Haines
-heard what he'd been up to they'd prosecute him. He's just been using
-their names to cod us. Oh, I'd like to--to--" The unspoken threat
-tailed off in a resigned sigh. "Well, there's a voice-trial at Daly's
-at 11.30. I'm off."
-
-Alexandra did not move. She was dazed. The other girls melted away, all
-but one little creature in black who commenced to sob.
-
-"Don't cry," said Alexandra, touched by her grief. "You must try and
-forget the disappointment."
-
-The girl raised streaming eyes. She was very plain and wore her hair
-frizzed out all round her head. The fingers through which her tears had
-been trickling were red and work-worn.
-
-"I paid him f-four pounds in gold," she wept. "And he s-said my voice
-was g-good enough to get me the engagement. And I've given notice at
-the place I'm at on the strength of it, and now I'll have to go back and
-ask to be kept on. Makes me ashamed of myself, it does, after what I
-said to the mistress about gettin' ten pounds a week on the stage. And
-now f-four pounds of good money gone!"
-
-"Haven't you any left?"
-
-"I've got eleven saved, but it would have been fifteen," sniffed the
-girl. She took it hardly that she had to pay so heavily for her
-experience.
-
-"Well, then, cheer up," said Alexandra. "I haven't got fifteen
-shillings."
-
-"Not in the world?"
-
-"Not in the world."
-
-"But you're a lady!"
-
-"Am I?" asked poor Alexandra. Tears were not far from her own eyes now.
-The girl saw them, and the fount of her own dried up in her compassion
-for a disappointment that must be even greater than her own because of
-the actual need behind it. A lady, and with less than fifteen shillings
-in the world! Why, she had always been able to earn nearly ten
-shillings a week, without counting her board and keep. She had always
-been able to count on regular employment, plenty of food and a fairly
-comfortable bed; and until she had been dazzled by the magnificent
-prospect of ten pounds a week and still more by the idea of becoming a
-"star actress," she had been fairly contented with her life. She wished
-she had never seen that catch advertisement in the newspaper.
-
-"I shouldn't think any more about the stage if I were you," advised
-Alexandra.
-
-"I shan't," was the resolute answer. "It's no good, is it?"
-
-"Not a bit of good."
-
-The girl hesitated.
-
-"Do you mind telling me," she said, "if it's very bad. The girls on it,
-I mean."
-
-"It's difficult sometimes for them to be good," was Alexandra's
-qualified reply.
-
-"That's pretty much what our milkman says. He had a wife he divorced
-that used to go on the stage once a year in pantomime."
-
-Alexandra smiled wanly. She was getting accustomed to the democratic
-atmosphere of the stage, where social differences are inexistent. The
-dragging in of the milkman's wife was only a sharp-cut illustration of
-the lengths to which the leveling-down process could go. The life had
-robbed her of all surprise at the necessity of having to rub shoulders
-with ex-shopgirls and the like; but this was the first time she had
-found herself on terms of equality with a domestic servant.
-
-"Dessay I'm well out of it," said the girl philosophically. "I hope
-you'll get on, miss."
-
-As she passed Alexandra she stopped, making believe to pick up something
-that was not there.
-
-"Oh, look what you've dropped!" she exclaimed, holding out two
-half-crowns.
-
-Alexandra had come out that morning with only a few pence.
-
-"It isn't mine," she disclaimed. "If you look in your purse you'll
-probably find it's your own money."
-
-The girl made a pretense of doing so.
-
-"No, that it isn't," she insisted. "It must be yours, right enough."
-
-"But it can't be."
-
-Before she could anticipate the movement, the girl slipped past her and
-raced down the stairs. Alexandra followed as fast as she could. But the
-girl was too quick for her. She was nowhere to be seen when Alexandra
-reached the street.
-
-Only then did she comprehend the meaning of the generous subterfuge.
-She stood staring down at the money in her hand--two half-crowns, given
-her by a servant!
-
-
-
-
- XIII
-
-
-July, that theatrical close season, was wearing itself out. Alexandra
-subsisted on the small quarterly dividend that a grateful country
-bestows in the way of pension on the orphaned children of the men who
-fight its battles. She sweltered in her one room or else sat in the
-deserted ones of theatrical agencies waiting for an engagement that
-never came.
-
-One sultry afternoon, on turning into Sidey Street, she found, standing
-opposite her door, a brand-new landaulette. In her prosperous days she
-had learnt to distinguish between the makes of cars, and a glance showed
-her that this one belonged to a type that was just then being widely
-advertised at a popular price. But it was neither its shape nor finish,
-nor even the bright coloring of its paintwork that attracted her
-attention so much as the large monogram composed of an M. and a D. in
-the center of its door-panel. The world might contain a thousand other
-people with those initials, but M. D. on an empty car outside
-Alexandra's door meant that Maggy was inside the house, waiting for her.
-
-Her heart beat fast and she went in. There would be a visible
-difference in Maggy. Their girlish friendship was a closed chapter.
-Maggy had left her. The hurt still rankled. She felt nervous. It
-would be like greeting a stranger; worse, it would be meeting as a
-stranger one with whom she had shared a close intimacy. There would be
-awkwardness....
-
-Maggy, waiting for her, felt equally nervous. She had struggled against
-the desire to see Alexandra again, but it had grown too strong for her.
-She yearned for her. She wanted to tell her that she had not deserted
-her, that she could still be as true a friend as ever. Suppose
-Alexandra were so intolerant of what she had done that she would not
-even let her stay a minute! Perhaps she would refuse to speak, or worse
-still, and this was more likely, she might pretend hard that her
-feelings had not changed so that she, Maggy, might not feel hurt, and
-Maggy would know she was pretending. She began to wish she had not
-come.
-
-Looking round the little room it seemed difficult to believe that she
-had really left it. Only the expensive frock she was wearing, a peep
-through the curtains at the new toy that she liked to drive about in,
-assured her that she had. Then she noticed that her bed was gone. That
-was even more conclusive evidence of the domestic rupture than the
-expensive frock and the car. And yet Alexandra had her photograph on
-the mantel-piece. That cheered her.
-
-During one of her periodical peeps at the window she saw Alexandra
-walking down the street. A panicy feeling assailed her. She peeped
-again and noticed how slowly she was coming along, how listless was her
-step. She looked tired, frail. Maggy's warm heart gave a compassionate
-thump. Her nervousness increased as she heard Alexandra mounting the
-stairs. What should she say to start with? "I was passing, and I
-thought I'd look in?" That would sound casual, forced. Or "I hope you
-don't mind my coming to see you." That would be groveling. Should she
-wait for Alexandra to speak first? Suppose she should say something
-cold and cutting, final? Suppose she just stood still, waiting for Maggy
-to speak? And how long might they not stand looking at each other like
-that, without saying a word....
-
-Alexandra opened the door and Maggy faced round, her breast rising and
-falling.
-
-Unrehearsed words bubbled from her heart.
-
-"Oh, Lexie, I'm just the same. Won't you be?"
-
-"Maggy, dear!"
-
-Choking with emotion and gladness, they found they were holding hands
-tightly, as if they could never let go. Big tears welled up in Maggy's
-eyes.
-
-"It doesn't alter one a bit," she got out huskily.
-
-They sat down on the bed, close together, for a moment or two dumb with
-congestion of thought--the numberless things, essentials affecting
-themselves, that needed asking and answering.
-
-"Are you happy, Maggy?"
-
-"Don't I look it?" She irradiated happiness. Her eyes beamed, her lips
-laughed. "I love him, Lexie. It's lovely to love a man whatever way
-love comes to you. He can't give me the brown egg at breakfast because
-he's not there then, but I feel just as--oh, you know! I'm not really
-_bad_, Lexie. There isn't another man in the world for me. Tell me
-about yourself, darling. Have you got anything to do yet?"
-
-"No. I'm beginning to wonder whether I ever shall. I can't see
-anything ahead. It's black."
-
-"Your stomach's empty," said Maggy prosaically. "You look as if you've
-lived on nothing for ten days."
-
-"I've lived on four-and-sixpence a week."
-
-"Oh, Lexie! And I've had caviare and plovers' eggs and all sorts of
-expensive things while you've been starving!" She looked horribly
-contrite. "Do you know that picture advertisement with a big fat cat
-talking to a thin miserable one and saying it had been fed on somebody's
-milk? I'm the fat cat because I'm being kept by--"
-
-"Don't!" said Alexandra.
-
-"I'm sorry. I forgot. Fred encourages me to be downright. Don't take
-the pins out of your hat. Look here, Lexie. Do me a favor and come out
-with me sometimes. Come now! When Fred's not around I'm at a loose end,
-and it's lonely. I get tired of mooching round the shops and only
-buying things for myself. The day would go faster if I could lie in bed
-half the morning, but I'm so beastly energetic. I'm awake at seven and
-thinking of eggs and bacon. I would like to show you my flat. Would
-you mind coming to see it? There's no one there, only me."
-
-She saw Alexandra hesitate.
-
-"It's such a duck of a flat," she went on. "I haven't got any one to
-show it to. Dozens of times I've said to myself: if only Lexie could
-see this or that.... You needn't approve of me, but do come! We can
-have an early dinner before I go to the theater."
-
-"But what about--"
-
-"Fred's never there at that time. We generally lunch out and then I
-don't see him till after the show."
-
-On Maggy's left hand Alexandra noticed the gleam of a wedding ring.
-Maggy, following her glance, smiled contentedly. For the moment it
-occurred to Alexandra that perhaps Maggy was really married after all.
-She asked the question.
-
-"No," was the regretful reply. "But I often forget I'm not. There's
-not much difference when you're fond of a man. You get to love him so
-much that you don't feel the law could bring you any closer. All the
-same I'd like to be married to him really. I'd like to look after his
-clothes, and keep his things tidy--and have his children." She flushed
-and got up rather hurriedly. "Ready? Come along!"
-
-In the narrow hall they encountered Mrs. Bell. She had been lying in
-wait, and now advanced with her be-ringed and not over-clean hand
-outstretched.
-
-"Always pleased to see you, Miss Delamere," she beamed. "I'm sure Miss
-Hersey's been quite lost without you. No chance of your coming back to
-us, I suppose?" She smiled knowingly.
-
-"You never know," said Maggy lightly. "Here's something to--buy shrimps
-with," she supplemented, winking at Alexandra.
-
-Mrs. Bell gave an astonished and delighted look at the coin before her
-fingers closed on it.
-
-"Well, you are a dear! I always did say you had a heart of gold--"
-
-"Not when my purse had only coppers in it," Maggy laughed.
-
-"What did you give her? She looked quite surprised," Alexandra inquired
-directly the street door had shut.
-
-"A sovereign."
-
-"But why?"
-
-"Swank, my dear. Get in."
-
-The car moved off.
-
-"How do you like it?" she asked. "It's a Primus. Fred's got an
-interest in them. I wish he'd make me an agent. He's had my photo
-taken in one for an ad. They've got electric starting and lighting and
-only cost two-seventy-five. Lean back, dear. Isn't it comfy? Oh, I
-wonder what you'll think of my flat. You'll like the bathroom, I know.
-Hot water service at any time of the day or night. That's in the
-prospectus."
-
-Alexandra laughed.
-
-"May I have a bath?"
-
-"Of course. Whenever you like. I thought you'd ask."
-
-She could not contain her pride in her new home. Alexandra, unable to
-help contrasting it with her own poor room, liked its light daintiness,
-its exquisite tidiness. Maggy would have delighted in doing the whole
-work of a cottage of her own in the country. She was by nature
-domesticated. The personal touch was everywhere visible about the flat,
-especially to Alexandra who knew her. Maggy had a mania for crochet
-work. It was to be seen in all directions. Towels, mats, chair covers,
-everything that could have crochet sewn on to it was so ornamented. A
-large open workbox, crammed to overflowing with a medley of fancy-work,
-testified to the hours she gave to her needle and the many directions in
-which she made use of it. A mongrel terrier gave them a violent welcome
-as they came in, and a dissipated-looking cat blinked at them lazily
-from the sofa where it lay on a cushion. Maggy introduced the two
-animals.
-
-"This is Mr. Onions," she said. "I saw him eating one out of a dustbin
-and brought him here. He was starved, Lexie. Now he lives on the fat of
-the land, like me. And he's no breed, like me. Neither is Mrs.
-Slightly. She's Slightly because she's slightly soiled, and never will
-clean herself, and she's called 'Mrs.' because she's not married, but
-ought to be. Isn't it curious, Lexie? Slightly and Onions are absolute
-gutter-snipes, but they've taken to cushions and cream as if they'd
-never known anything else. Fred can't bear them. He wanted me to have a
-Pekinese with a pedigree, but _I_ haven't a pedigree, so I don't want an
-animal with one. Slightly and Onions are such grateful devils, too.
-Would you really like a bath now? After you've had it we'll have tea.
-China tea at four and six a pound, my dear! Think of that! I believe I
-could drink tea dust and enjoy it if I knew it was expensive."
-
-While Alexandra luxuriated in her bath, reckless for once of the
-quantity of water she used, Maggy took the opportunity of providing
-something exceptional in the way of tea. It began with poached eggs and
-finished with strawberries and cream. Maggy was not a bit hungry; she
-had lunched late with Woolf. But she knew Alexandra had been denying
-herself food and would eat heartily so long as she could do so in
-company. So she crammed loyally, ignoring the physical discomfort it
-inflicted on her.
-
-Finally she put Alexandra into the most comfortable of her chairs and
-drew another close to it. Onions lay at her feet, Slightly was curled
-on her lap.
-
-"Now tell me what you've been doing to get an engagement," she said.
-
-"There's nothing to tell. No luck anywhere, that's all."
-
-Maggy sighed. "I wish you could live here. That's impossible, I know.
-But why be so proud? Let me lend you a few pounds."
-
-"I can't. I've not used the money you left. I meant to give it back to
-you, but I forgot."
-
-"You make me angry. Isn't my money good enough? I'm sorry, Lexie.
-You've got such cracked ideas."
-
-Alexandra decided to be frank.
-
-"It isn't that," she said. "I would take your money if I dared and be
-grateful for it. I would sooner borrow from you than from any one. But
-if I began to borrow, even from you, I should find it more difficult to
-keep straight. I've never said as much to anybody before, but I don't
-want you to think I won't take it because it's you who are offering it."
-
-"I think I know what you mean. Once you've taken the first step you're
-afraid you'll go on slithering. But you've got to take some sort of
-step to get a job. De Freyne said we were shabby, Lexie; but if he
-could see you now! What's the use of being nearly the same size as your
-best friend if you won't let her lend you a dress or two? Answer me
-that. That's not borrowing. That oughtn't to hurt your pride. We used
-to swop things. And I've got a dress and a hat, and a pair of shoes in
-the other room that are too small for me. You must have them, Lexie.
-No one'll look at you as you are. When managers see a girl looking
-shabby they only think of the reputation of their stage-door. If you'll
-just let me give you a leg-up toward a job! Let me drive you round to
-the agencies in the car instead of walking. I won't take 'no.' It's
-Maggy's call this time."
-
-She prevailed in the end, forced the new frock on Alexandra and the
-shoes that were too small; stuffed other things into the parcel when she
-wasn't looking--a veil and some gloves, a pot of Bovril from her
-sideboard, a tin of biscuits, a bottle of scent and other things.
-Alexandra found them all when she got home. They dropped out of the
-most unexpected places. There was a box of chocolates in one sleeve,
-some very nice soap in another. A silk petticoat was wrapped round a
-bottle of lemon squash. It was so like Maggy's indiscriminate largesse.
-Where she loved, she was constrained to give, always with both hands.
-Before Alexandra left she showed her a photograph.
-
-"Fred," she said. "Isn't he handsome? He's got one white tuft in his
-black hair. I wish you knew him, Lexie." Alexandra had all along been
-afraid she was going to say that. "I wish you _would_ meet him." Her
-voice was wistful. "I'm so proud of you. I've talked about you to him
-such a lot. I believe if he were to see you he'd--think more of me,"
-she added humbly.
-
-"Doesn't he think a lot of you?" asked Alexandra, surprised. She put
-down the photo. The face, handsome, albeit brutal, did not appeal to
-her.
-
-"In a way. But I don't think he really believes you're a lady ... that
-a lady would be real friends with me. It's difficult to explain."
-
-Alexandra felt sure she would not like Woolf. She instantly resented
-what she suspected must be his attitude toward Maggy.
-
-"You'd be doing me a favor," Maggy said. "Would you mind very much?"
-
-Alexandra shrank from meeting Woolf because instinctively she guessed
-the kind of man he was. The photograph almost told her. It showed her a
-man, not a gentleman, yet whose money bought him the right of way
-amongst gentlemen, the type of man who would assume that every woman,
-not a lady, had her price. She felt sorry for Maggy.
-
-"I will meet him if you're very keen about it," she said at length. It
-seemed so grudging, so ungrateful to refuse the one thing required of
-her. Maggy would have done, had done, more than that for her. She
-acknowledged the concession now with a spontaneous hug.
-
-"I'll fix a day. We'll have lunch together," she said. "It makes me so
-happy, Lexie, to think I've got you again--my friend. Men say women
-can't be friends. They don't know. Have another look round before you
-go. You do think it nice, don't you? Fred's taken it on a three years'
-agreement."
-
-"Is he married?" asked Alexandra suddenly.
-
-"No."
-
-"Then surely he might marry you."
-
-"He would never marry me," said Maggy. "I don't talk about it. I don't
-think of it. If he thought I'd got such an idea in my head I don't
-believe he'd want me any longer. He'd hate to be tied down to anything
-or anybody for longer than a three years' agreement."
-
-An oppression fell on Alexandra. The room, which had been flooded by
-the afternoon sun, was in shade now. It looked colder, less intimate.
-One saw that it was a room whose furniture had been provided _en bloc_
-by a Company--the Company that owned the flats. There was no individual
-taste about it. There was nothing permanent about it. It was not a
-home, and was not meant to be one.
-
-"But after three years--" Alexandra began anxiously.
-
-Maggy shut her eyes.
-
-"If you ever love a man," she said, "you'll know one doesn't think in
-years. One simply feels--in minutes."
-
-
-
-
- XIV
-
-
-Alexandra did not have to avail herself of Maggy's offer of her car for
-the purpose of visiting the various agencies. That evening she received
-a post-card from Stannard requesting her to call on Mrs. Hugh Lambert at
-her house in South Kensington. Mrs. Lambert's name was familiar to her
-as that of the wife of a leading actor-manager on whose stage she was
-never seen. She toured the provinces with plays of her own, while he
-remained in London or visited New York, in both of which cities he was
-the idol of a vast number of impressionable women.
-
-You could hardly pick up an illustrated paper without finding Hugh
-Lambert's photograph in it. You could buy picture post-cards of him at
-every shop where such things are on sale--full-face, in profile, in
-costume, out of costume, head and shoulders, half-length, full-length.
-How he was able to devote so much time to being photographed and yet get
-a reasonable amount of sleep was a mystery that did not seem capable of
-explanation. He was immensely popular and very good-looking in an
-effeminate way. Before arriving at the dignity of actor-management his
-talent for poetic interpretation had been freely recognized. But
-success had spoilt him. Now he was mannered. Costume parts were his
-hobby. The story went that, at one of his dress-rehearsals in which he
-was figuring as a Roman general in gilded armor, he asked a lady present
-what she thought of his appearance, and that her answer had been: "Oh,
-Mr. Lambert, what a girl you are for clothes!"
-
-As Lambert's reputation had increased, so that of his wife had
-diminished. At one time she had promised to develop into an actress of
-renown. But for some reason difficult to understand she never quite
-succeeded. The critics said she lacked "personal magnetism," that touch
-of attractiveness that gets the actress's individuality across the
-footlights. The fact remains that she failed to please the public in
-the big roles that fell to her in her husband's productions. London
-dropped her, and Hugh Lambert's name blazed alone in colored electric
-lights across the front of his theater.
-
-Then came a whisper of his marital infidelity. The couple separated.
-From this time onwards Mrs. Lambert was seldom seen on the London stage.
-
-Her career was a disappointing one. None knew it better than herself.
-Technically and emotionally she was a finer actress than her husband's
-leading lady, finer indeed than most of the leading ladies of other
-managers. That she became a great attraction in the Provinces was
-nothing to her. She loathed the Provinces, their inadequate theaters,
-their inferior hotels, and the incessant traveling. At thirty-five she
-found herself as it were back at the collar-work of her earlier days of
-struggle, and without its compensations. Then, conjugal affection and
-the stimulus of ambition still unachieved had made touring bearable and
-often enjoyable because she shared it with Lambert.
-
-Now she was alone.
-
-She hated the sordid manufacturing towns and their unsophisticated
-audiences, the eternal sameness of the self-vaunted watering-places, the
-dull spas where fashionable frequenters of the pump room would
-condescend to patronize her whom they would not pay to see in London.
-She was a tired woman.
-
-To her came Alexandra at eleven o'clock on the morning appointed. She
-had quite forgotten, until her maid brought her up the card, that she
-had asked Stannard to find her a small-part actress who would also be
-useful as a companion. She saw Alexandra at once.
-
-The impression the latter first got of her was a pathetic one. She
-never forgot it. Mrs. Lambert was sitting up in bed. The small oval of
-her face was too pale for health, and her dark hair accentuated her look
-of fragility. On the dressing-table lay a rich copper-colored
-transformation.
-
-"I hope you don't mind seeing me in bed," she said. "I hate keeping
-people waiting. It's so selfish. In my time I've sat on dress-baskets
-outside dressing-room doors waiting for hours till some selfish wretch
-took it into his head to see me, although he'd made an appointment and
-knew perfectly well I was there. I vowed I'd never treat any one in the
-same way. Sit down somewhere and tell me about yourself. What have you
-done?"
-
-"Very little," Alexandra confessed. "I'm almost an amateur."
-
-Mrs. Lambert made a wry face. "Not a moneyed one, I hope?"
-
-"I've got forty pounds a year."
-
-"Officer's daughter's pension?"
-
-"Yes." Alexandra looked surprised. "How did you know?"
-
-"I'm one myself. Officer's daughters can't do much when they're left
-stranded. They teach if they're ugly and sensible enough, and they go
-on the stage if they're sufficiently pretty and foolish. How long have
-you been at it?"
-
-"Three months."
-
-"And how long in an engagement?"
-
-"I rehearsed for three weeks at the Pall Mall in the chorus.... I
-wasn't wanted."
-
-"I don't wonder. I can't quite see a girl like you in the Pall Mall
-chorus. You must have had rather an unpleasant time of it there. Were
-you worried by men? Before I married I used to wear a wedding ring. In
-my innocence, I thought it would be something of a protection, but it
-had quite a contrary effect." She gave Alexandra a sympathetic look.
-"Would you really like to come on tour with me?"
-
-"Mr. Stannard didn't say what you required," said Alexandra. "Perhaps
-you won't think I'm experienced enough."
-
-"Well, I want some one to thread ribbons through my underclothes, to
-sleep in my room when I see bogies, and play a small part--a servant
-flicking chairs. I can't promise that it will increase your theatrical
-reputation, but perhaps when you leave me, some minor manager might be
-induced to give you a decent part on the strength of your having been in
-Mrs. Hugh Lambert's company. You'll go about with me. I'll pay all
-hotel expenses and give you thirty shillings a week. If you're hard up
-for clothes, say so. I've always got a lot more than I want, and as I
-send them to the Theatrical Ladies' Guild you needn't feel under any
-obligation about taking them. I hope you'll decide to come. I should
-like you to. You won't be overworked and I'll treat you decently. I'm
-not a cat."
-
-"I'd love to come if you'll have me."
-
-"Well, we'll consider it arranged then. Stannard will see to the
-contract. The tour is for three months. I leave town in about a
-fortnight, but you might as well come and stop here in the meantime. We
-shall get to know each other and rub corners off. Would you care to?
-Then come back to-night, somewhere about six. You can help me with my
-shopping and packing. I'll keep you busy!" She held out a thin
-artistic hand.
-
-There was no maid in the hall, so Alexandra opened the door to let
-herself out. A man stood on the steps, about to ring the bell. He was
-thirty or so, of an aristocratic type. They both hesitated for a
-moment. Then he asked:
-
-"Can you tell me if Mrs. Lambert is in?"
-
-"Yes--I think so," she said.
-
-"Would you mind telling her I'd like to take her to lunch. I'll wait if
-she isn't down yet."
-
-"Yes, certainly," said Alexandra. It struck her that he seemed to be
-aware of the late hours she kept. It argued intimacy. "What name shall
-I say?"
-
-"Oh--Chalfont."
-
-She went upstairs again, knocked at the door, and found Mrs. Lambert
-with the morning's papers on the bed. She was reading of her husband's
-projected departure for America with his successful repertoire. There
-were tears in her eyes.
-
-"I shall have to take to glasses," she said, looking up. "I can't read
-without weeping. What is it?"
-
-"Mr. Chalfont is downstairs. He wants to know if you will lunch with
-him."
-
-"Please tell Lord Chalfont," said Mrs. Lambert in a low voice, "that
-it's the anniversary of my separation from my husband, and that I'm
-lunching on my heart. But he can come to dinner to-night if he likes.
-Ask him to put you in a taxi."
-
-She returned to the newspapers.
-
-
-
-
- XV
-
-
-"Lexie's coming to lunch to-morrow," Maggy informed Woolf. "We must
-give her a good one, Fred, and you'll behave, won't you, D.D.?"
-
-"D.D." in Maggy's language of love stood for Dearest Darling. She was
-not free from the modern, time-saving habit, set by trade advertisements
-and the halfpenny papers, of abbreviating words in common use down to
-their lowest denomination.
-
-"So she's woken up to the fact that there may be something to be got out
-of you," yawned Woolf.
-
-"I wish you wouldn't talk like that, Fred. Lexie couldn't be on the
-make-haste. She's not made that way."
-
-"Sounds as if she's too good and uninteresting to live."
-
-"She isn't uninteresting. You'll like her. She's very pretty. Do be
-good and do me credit."
-
-"Well ... I like that!" Woolf stared at her, half-amused.
-
-"I mean, don't say the things you say to me. She's sensitive."
-
-"My dear girl, don't teach me how to talk to women. Judging by what
-you've told me I'm inclined to think your copybook Lexie is a deep 'un.
-I don't think I'll come, anyway."
-
-"Oh, but you must. I've asked her on purpose to meet you. I want her
-to see what a duck you are, and to like you, and not to think me bad
-just because I let you wipe your shoes on me."
-
-She slipped to the ground and sat at his feet. Woolf liked her in her
-devoted moods. Like many another unworthy man, adulation gave him
-peculiar satisfaction. Maggy was rarely flippant now. She loved Woolf
-with a passion that almost frightened her. It was not a passion of the
-mind. He dominated her in other ways. She was too transparent to hide
-how much she cared. She gave too much. It was her pleasure, when she
-knew he was going to stay several hours with her, to take off his shoes
-and put on the pumps which with a few other things he kept at the flat.
-
-She commenced to unlace his shoes now. Then she dragged his pumps from
-under the sofa, kissing them first before she put them on his feet.
-
-"You funny creature. What makes you do that?" he asked, well enough
-aware of her reason, but desirous of extracting an expression of it.
-
-"Because I adore you. I feel like Mary Magdalene or whoever it was who
-broke the precious ointment all over her Master's feet. Oh, yes, I know
-who it was. But do you think she wouldn't have done it just the same if
-He had been an ordinary man? He was _her_ lord. She never thought of
-Him as everybody's Lord. That isn't blasphemy. It's love."
-
-"You don't know how I love you," she went on ardently. "Men think they
-know how to love, but they never love as a woman loves. I love you so
-much that first of all I wish I had been your mother, so that I might
-have held you in my arms when you were tiny and given you dill water for
-your tummy aches, and bathed and powdered you.... And next I wish I had
-been your twin sister to have grown up with you.... And next I wish I
-had been the first woman in your life.... And next I wish.... Oh, and
-I'm thankful to be--just yours." She sat up, and went on in rather a
-tense voice. "I wonder if you'll ever get tired of me. Could you,
-Fred?"
-
-"Well, I'm not yet." He gave a playful pull at her loosened hair.
-
-"And treat me like men treat the A.F.'s in story-books."
-
-"What's an A.F.?"
-
-"Abandoned female, you goose. That's what I am. And when you've
-finished with me will you leave me to starve in a garret while you live
-in a mansion with a beautiful and good wife? And will I haunt your
-doorstep and throw vitriol in your belovedest face?"
-
-"What nonsense you're talking, Maggy."
-
-"It isn't all nonsense. It isn't only in the story-books that women do
-that. They do it in real life too. I read about a case in the paper
-not long ago, and the judge asked the girl why she did it. She answered
-'Because I love him.' The silly judge said: 'That's a funny way of
-showing love,' and there was laughter in Court, in brackets. Laughter in
-Court! I expect it sounded to that girl like laughter in hell. I know
-what she must have felt. I daresay she lived so long with the man and
-loved him so much that she felt as good as his wife. Then when he left
-her, she must have gone mad, poor thing."
-
-She got up and stood in front of him, looking very sweet and alluring.
-
-"How long will you love me, I wonder?" she mused.
-
-Woolf drew her on to his knees.
-
-"So long as you look like you do now."
-
-"You mean so long as I'm pretty? Wouldn't you love me if I looked like
-poor Mrs. Slightly? She's losing her fur."
-
-"What's the matter with Mrs. Slightly?" he asked.
-
-He did not care for Maggy's mongrel pets, and his tone was not
-encouraging. It put Maggy on her guard. She had a premonition that it
-would be best to hide Mrs. Slightly's secret until it could no longer be
-hidden.
-
-"I'm not quite sure," she said.
-
-"Where is she?"
-
-"I left her in the bathroom. I'll get her. She hasn't had her supper
-yet."
-
-She went out of the room. Woolf heard her calling the cat softly, then
-came a smothered exclamation, and she called to him eagerly, excitedly.
-
-"Oh, Fred! Fred! Come here! Come and _look_!"
-
-He followed her. She was standing before Mrs. Slightly's basket. The
-cat was purring, its eyes half-shut, tired after the tremendous function
-of motherhood. Six little rat-like, squirming bodies lay against her
-own.
-
-"Six of them!" breathed Maggy triumphantly. "Aren't they lovely! Wasn't
-it worth going on the tiles for, Mrs. Dearest? The cat's cradle is
-full, full!"
-
-Woolf disengaged her arm from his.
-
-"It's disgusting," he said angrily. "You ought to have got rid of her
-before this, or--or kept her in. You can't keep the kittens. They'll
-have to be drowned."
-
-Maggy looked at him blankly.
-
-"Aren't you pleased?" she asked, surprised.
-
-"Pleased! At a sight like that! Besides, you told me a lie. I won't
-have lies. You must have known before you went to the theater that the
-cat had had kittens--"
-
-"I didn't. Oh, how dare you say so! Do you think I'd have gone out and
-left her all these hours without any milk by her side if I'd guessed
-they were coming so soon?"
-
-She flew off, and came back with a saucer of bread and milk. She put it
-on the floor and went down on her hands and knees beside the newly-born
-animals. There was a rapt expression on her face.
-
-"I don't think I'll stop," said Woolf huffily, and moved to the door.
-
-He expected that she would call him back, but to his surprise she did
-not even look up. She was wholly absorbed with the natural phenomenon.
-For the first time in their intercourse she was oblivious of his
-presence. She did not even hear him go. She knelt entranced.
-
-At last a sigh broke from her. She became articulate.
-
-"Oh, you babies!" she whispered. "Oh, you little, little things!"
-
-
-
-
- XVI
-
-
-Maggy looked forward with immense eagerness to the luncheon at which
-Woolf was to meet Alexandra. She had a double reason for desiring it.
-In a sense, Alexandra's presence would mean that she no longer
-disapproved of the connection: it would give it a certain sanction, an
-authority it would otherwise lack. Her other reason concerned Woolf
-himself. In spite of his assertions to the contrary, she was sure he
-knew how to appreciate a woman of culture. Once he saw how different
-Alexandra was from the girls he usually met, his regard for herself
-would grow stronger, if only because she had the advantage of the
-friendship of such a superior being.
-
-She was not altogether wrong in her assumption that Woolf liked a lady,
-although it must be admitted he seldom felt at ease with one. He was
-only himself with declasse women, or a girl of Maggy's class, who had
-few sensibilities to shock. All the same, he was contemptuous of the
-women whose society he frequented, and he had a sneaking admiration for
-the women of the more sedate world to which he did not belong. It was
-likely that he would ultimately marry a lady, if he married at all,
-since he considered that women, other than the class that will not give
-itself away except in the bond of holy matrimony, were not worthy of any
-such honor. He was a cad, of course, but a cad of ambitions and brains.
-
-Maggy's rhapsodies about Alexandra left him cold. He did not credit
-Maggy with being much of a judge concerning matters pertaining to the
-aristocracy. He did not believe that Alexandra had the breeding Maggy
-was always vaunting. He merely supposed that she was more subtle than
-Maggy, one who could ape superior manners, much as an astute parlormaid
-can.
-
-The fact that this friend so exclusive, according to Maggy, should
-overcome her scruples sufficiently to meet him, knowing perfectly well
-in what relation he stood to Maggy, was sufficient confirmation that she
-had never had any scruples of importance to overcome. He was amused
-that Maggy could be so hoodwinked by one of her own sex. But then Maggy
-was a little fool--pretty and taking, and that was all. He was too
-egregious to appreciate that real friendship for Maggy, friendship which
-overrode personal considerations, had induced Alexandra to accept the
-invitation.
-
-She turned up at the flat at the time appointed. They were to lunch in
-the restaurant attached.
-
-Woolf could not help being impressed with her appearance. He could not
-deny that she was really exceedingly pretty. Her features were quite
-perfect--white brow, small straight nose, well-shaped mouth. He saw all
-this at a glance, the cool, scrutinizing glance of valuation with which
-he favored every attractive member of her sex, whether a duchess in her
-carriage in Bond Street or a shop-girl on her way to work.
-
-Maggy introduced her friend and her lover with mutual pride. The tone
-in which she did it left no doubt that what she would have loved to say
-was:
-
-"This is Lexie. Isn't she lovely? You know she is;" and then with a
-certain dubiousness: "My Fred.... _Do_ like him. Surely you must think
-him handsome."
-
-"Delighted to meet any friend of Maggy's," said Woolf cordially. "Been
-a long time coming round, haven't you?"
-
-Alexandra instantly resented the unnecessary familiarity he put into his
-tone, but for Maggy's sake she refrained from showing it. Woolf was no
-better and no worse than she had expected to find him. He was merely
-vulgar, from the salmon-pink handkerchief in his breast-pocket to the
-too-valuable pin in his tie.
-
-"I came as soon as I was asked," she answered equably. "Maggy and I are
-old friends. There's no reason why I should keep away from her."
-
-"Of course, there isn't. Only Maggy thought you didn't approve of--this
-little show." He waved his arm round the room.
-
-"It's a dear little flat. I like it very much."
-
-Woolf laughed loudly. "The flat's all right. Perhaps I should have said
-our little menage a deux. There's no harm in it. Everybody's doing it,
-aren't they, Maggy? Come along to lunch, you girls."
-
-If Alexandra could have run away then and there she would have done so.
-She guessed what she was in for. Maggy was looking nervous. She wanted
-Alexandra and Fred to "get on," to like each other. She had done her
-best to make her lover avoid the sort of conversation Alexandra would
-not like. She was dreadfully afraid he was going to spoil it all.
-
-As Woolf led the way down to the restaurant she slipped behind and
-whispered:
-
-"Lexie, don't be shocked if Fred talks a bit. I've told him not to
-because you don't like it; but if he forgets--"
-
-Alexandra gave her arm a little squeeze. It heartened her. Her adoring
-eyes went to the big figure, striding on in front of them.
-
-"Doesn't he look a dear?" she asked. "Could I _help_ it? Fancy him
-wanting me!"
-
-Her abjectness was a revelation to Alexandra. She had not conceived it
-possible that cheeky, masterful Maggy, could have surrendered her
-independence so completely. In this man's company she was quieter, more
-subdued, ever watchful to please, to laugh when he laughed--a little too
-much perhaps, too ready to applaud his most commonplace remarks as
-witticisms, his untasteful jokes as gems of wit. She had a mind of her
-own. She hardly showed it. His assertive manhood seemed to have
-swamped her personality. All the time she was considering him. He
-scarcely considered her at all.
-
-Conversation did not run freely during the first part of the meal.
-Woolf wanted to shine in Alexandra's eyes as a good host. He showed it
-by bullying the waiters over trivialities, until she began to feel quite
-uncomfortable. His was not the quietly assertive tone of the man who
-knows what he wants and how to order it. It was obvious to the very
-attendants themselves that he blustered in order to draw attention to
-his importance, just as he would tip excessively and yet argue over a
-trifling item on the bill.
-
-Over his coffee and a cigarette his manner showed some improvement.
-Still, he had not taken Alexandra's measure. She was telling Maggy of
-her sudden luck in obtaining an engagement, and that she was going to
-stay with Mrs. Lambert. Maggy was delighted.
-
-"Oh, I'm glad!" she said enthusiastically. "It's tip-top, Lexie. Fred,
-did you hear that? Lexie's going on tour with Mrs. Lambert. Isn't it
-splendid for her?"
-
-"Splendid for Mrs. Lambert. Rather!" concurred Woolf, with heavy
-gallantry. "You'll have plenty of opportunities of ingenue parts with
-the lady," he went on, knowingly. "You'll suit her to a T. You'll play
-propriety, of course! Dashed funny, that."
-
-"I don't understand," said Alexandra.
-
-"Oh, come, we're none of us as good as we look. Of course you've heard
-about Mrs. Lambert and Lord Chalfont? I told you everybody was doing
-it."
-
-Her crimson face and indignant eyes did not warn him of the blunder he
-was committing. Maggy was playing nervously with the crystallized sugar,
-afraid of angering Woolf by stemming the tide of his untactful
-garrulity.
-
-He bent forward, lowering his voice. "It's like this," he said, and
-began to give details of a liaison which Alexandra had no reason to
-credit, details which were offensive and unnecessary. She was genuinely
-shocked. Involuntarily she pushed back her chair while he was still
-talking and made the first excuse she could think of.
-
-"I shall have to be going now, Maggy. I'm so sorry. I--I'm late for an
-appointment as it is. I--I'll come and say good-by before I go on
-tour."
-
-"Must you really go?" asked Maggy weakly. She knew that Alexandra could
-stand no more. It meant that her poor little attempt at concord between
-the only two people she cared about had come to nought. "Fred, tell the
-waiter to order a taxicab."
-
-"I won't wait for that," said Alexandra. "I shall be too late. I ought
-to go at once. I shall find one in the street."
-
-She managed a reassuring smile to show Maggy that though her feelings
-were outraged she meant to get over it, and let it make no difference to
-their friendship. Now that she had met Woolf and learnt the sort of man
-he was, nothing would have induced her to waver in allegiance to Maggy.
-Maggy needed her though she might never say it. She knew she could not
-bring herself to meet Woolf again, even for Maggy's sake.
-
-He insisted on escorting her out of the restaurant and putting her into
-a cab. He was aware now from her almost monosyllabic rejoinders that he
-had made a mistake, spoken in bad taste. It was suddenly obvious to him
-that she was a lady--the "real thing," and that he had offended her.
-Simultaneously with this came the desire to know more of her.
-
-"I believe you're annoyed," he said. "Have I been a bit too
-plain-spoken?"
-
-"Here's my taxi," she said, disregarding the question.
-
-He helped her in, knowing that she disapproved of him. A natural
-premonition told him that she would not be desirous of meeting him again
-unless he could convince her he was aware of his error and regretted it.
-He was distinctly taken with her, more now than ever that her
-fastidiousness made her difficult. He leant toward her and spoke almost
-anxiously.
-
-"I'd like to meet you again. Can't you dine with me one night before
-you go? I'm sorry if I've offended you.... I made a mistake. I
-thought you were Maggy's sort."
-
-The apology, so disloyal to Maggy, as well as insulting to herself,
-inflamed her.
-
-"You unspeakable cad!" she said.
-
-Woolf returned to Maggy rather red in the face. She had left the
-restaurant and was waiting for him in her sitting-room. She was afraid
-to reproach him, and yet anxious that he should know he had blundered.
-She was terribly disappointed.
-
-"You shocked Lexie," she told him, and waited to see what he would say.
-
-He made no answer.
-
-"You thought her pretty?" she went on.
-
-Woolf was biting his finger-nails savagely.
-
-"Didn't you?" she persisted.
-
-"Oh, yes. Very pretty."
-
-He had been repulsed, snubbed, and was rankling under the smart of it.
-It made him turn to the girl who had nothing but devotion for him for a
-salve to his wounded vanity. The girl who had just gone was provokingly
-desirable because of her cool eyes, her scornful mouth, her aloofness,
-the disdain of her. But Maggy was all his, living for him.
-
-He took her in his arms almost savagely.
-
-"You're worth ten of her," he exclaimed; and in his irritation believed
-what he said.
-
-Her body relaxed submissively in the grip of his arms.
-
-"Oh, my God, how I love you!" she murmured, trembling.
-
-She laid her cheek against his and stroked his hand. "Will you do me a
-favor, Fred?" she went on presently, unconsciously taking advantage of
-what she regarded as a soft mood.
-
-"What is it? A bit more money than I give you?"
-
-"No. I don't want more money. I've got enough. I've never been greedy
-that way, have I?"
-
-"No. More silly you. Women should make hay while the sun shines."
-
-She looked at him with soft eyes.
-
-"When the sun shines some women only want to let it warm them through
-and through."
-
-"Well, what's the favor?"
-
-She pointed at the basket containing Mrs. Slightly and her offspring,
-which Woolf had not noticed.
-
-"You asked me to have them drowned. I'd rather find homes for them.
-Please, D.D.?"
-
-"But, good Lord--why?"
-
-She drew away from him, walked over to the basket, and leant over it, as
-if communing with Mrs. Slightly.
-
-"I had a dream last night," she said. "It's because of that I--I want
-Mrs. Slightly's kittens to live. I dreamt that I was a mother cat, only
-in my dream I had but one little kitty. But it was all mine and I loved
-it. It had soft black hair with a white tuft in it--like its father."
-She looked straight at the white lock that was so singular a feature of
-Woolf's dark hair. "And one afternoon when I had come back from a
-stroll I went to the basket to find that my Kitty was gone. I mewed for
-it everywhere. There was nowhere that I did not look. I couldn't
-possibly, as a cat, know that the human I looked up to, the giver of
-food and all good things could do anything so evil as to make away with
-the precious thing. It was a nightmare. In my dream, I was searching,
-searching for hours. My cat-heart was breaking. When I woke up, I was
-mewing! Don't laugh, Fred. And I made up my mind that I couldn't have
-Mrs. Slightly's kittens drowned. Oh, the people who drown kittens and
-take away calves from cows and lambs from sheep, must be hard-hearted
-beasts. Why, if I had a baby, a little soft warm baby, and somebody
-wanted to deprive me of it--Fred!" She caught at his arm.
-
-Startled by the sharp note of appeal in her voice he put a startled
-question.
-
-Maggy had cast her arms protectively round the basket where Mrs.
-Slightly and her kittens slept, all unconscious of issues concerning
-their fate. Her shoulders were shaking. She was moved by some
-extraordinary emotion. But when she turned to Woolf again she was calm.
-
-"I am quite sure," she said.
-
-
-
-
- XVII
-
-
-The change from the drab surroundings of the King's Cross Road to Mrs.
-Lambert's pretty house in South Kensington made Alexandra feel as though
-she had escaped from purgatory. Hers was the temperament that withers
-in a sad environment and expands in a bright one. Whilst in her
-lodgings she had had to put up with dinginess and discomfort: Albert
-Place was the antithesis of everything unpleasant. She seemed to breathe
-more freely there.
-
-The house was small, Georgian and white. Great wire baskets overflowing
-with pink climbing geraniums hung from its porch and balcony. Between
-its green iron railings and the front door was a strip of well-kept
-garden full of shrubs and ferns kept fresh and glistening with a
-constant supply of moisture.
-
-Inside it was equally delightful. Mrs. Lambert had a nice taste for
-form and color. Where Maggy would have put hot-toned plush and
-burnished copper the actress had quiet soft brocades and silver. Her
-furniture consisted mainly of delicate Georgian mahogany as decorative
-as it was comfortable. Alexandra reveled in it all.
-
-Then again, the change meant relief from anxiety. She had something to
-do, she would be paid for it. For three months or more she would be
-free from continuous alarm about the morrow. Here was occupation,
-cleanliness, comfort, good food, agreeable companionship. Over and over
-again she kept reminding herself of it.
-
-The days that followed her arrival were busy ones. The tour was to
-start in a fortnight. There was much shopping to do, packing,
-preparation for it. The small part Alexandra was to play, that of a
-parlormaid, did not take up much of her time rehearsing. Mrs. Lambert
-did not rehearse at all. Her understudy relieved her of that duty.
-Occasionally she would spend an hour watching her company and conferring
-with her manager, but so long as things went on smoothly, as they
-generally did, she avoided the theatrical side of her affairs as much as
-she could.
-
-The fact was, as Alexandra quickly found out, Mrs. Lambert disliked the
-stage. She loved acting because she had a gift for it. But she was not
-eaten up with her own achievements and was quite free from the
-artificial manner and the petty interests of average stage-folk. Her
-chief pleasure lay in getting away from London in her excellent Panhard
-limousine on every available occasion and forgetting that she belonged
-to the stage. Alexandra shared many a pleasant drive with her that hot
-end of July, lunching in the shade of some quiet Surrey lane or the more
-deserted parts of Richmond Park.
-
-A day or two before they were to start on tour they met Maggy in a
-Regent Street shop. Maggy's appearance was very striking. Her coloring
-just now was more vivid than usual. She bloomed.
-
-"Oh, Lexie!" she exclaimed, "I was half afraid you'd gone off without
-saying good-by."
-
-"You know I wouldn't have done that," Alexandra protested.
-
-"I haven't given her a moment to herself," put in Mrs. Lambert. She was
-looking at Maggy with the frank admiration of an unjealous woman. "Are
-you great friends, you two?" she asked.
-
-"We used to chum together," Maggy said. "Lexie is my patron saint."
-
-"Well, then you must see more of her before she goes. Won't you come
-and lunch with us to-morrow?--seventy-four, Albert Place."
-
-"I should love to," Maggy answered eagerly. "May I really?"
-
-"Yes, do," said Mrs. Lambert. "Half-past one."
-
-She nodded, and Maggy moved away to join Woolf, who had come in. He
-glanced curiously at Alexandra as she and Mrs. Lambert left the shop.
-
-"That's Mrs. Lambert, with Lexie," Maggy told him. "I was just talking
-to them. Mrs. Lambert asked me to lunch at her house. Isn't it kind of
-her? She looked at me so nicely too. Our hearts seemed to shake hands."
-
-Woolf had scarcely noticed Mrs. Lambert. He had only had eyes for
-Alexandra, and was incensed because she had not acknowledged him.
-
-"Your precious particular friend cut me," he said. "I suppose you saw
-that."
-
-"I'm sure she couldn't have seen you. Why should she cut you?"
-
-Woolf had his own reasons for surmising why she had done so, but he was
-not going to give them.
-
-"I should like you to drop that friendship," he said vindictively.
-
-"Drop Lexie? Me? You're joking!"
-
-"I'm not."
-
-Maggy very seldom argued with Woolf. Her subjugation was nearly
-complete, but she still had some spirit left. She showed it now.
-
-"I gave up living with Lexie to come to you," she reminded him.
-
-"Do you regret it?"
-
-"I don't, but I probably shall. Anyway, instead of turning up her nose
-at me she's behaved like a darling. I couldn't go back on her. Why,
-I--I'd rather have drowned Mrs. Slightly's kittens with my own hands
-than been so mean as that!"
-
-"Well, you needn't lunch with her at Mrs. Lambert's. You might meet
-Lord Chalfont there."
-
-"It's not in the least likely. But what would it matter if I did?"
-
-"I don't like him."
-
-"I thought you said you didn't know him?"
-
-"I've never spoken to the bounder, if that's what you mean," said Woolf
-testily.
-
-"I don't understand you. You generally don't care what I do or where I
-go when I'm not with you. When I see Lexie again I shall tell her
-you're huffy with her."
-
-Now Alexandra had not deliberately meant to cut Woolf. She would not
-have done so out of consideration to Maggy; but as she had only seen his
-reflection in one of the shop mirrors she did not consider it necessary
-to turn round and bow to him. Besides, she knew he was the sort of man
-Mrs. Lambert would not care about, and it was quite likely that if she
-had acknowledged him he would have presumed on her good nature.
-
-"What a lovely girl!" Mrs. Lambert said, when they were in the street.
-"She's a joy to look at. Who was the man who joined her? I seem to
-know his face. He looked Jewish."
-
-"His name is Woolf."
-
-"I wonder if he's the person who is exploiting Primus cars. He owns
-some racehorses too, and a sporting paper."
-
-"It's the same," said Alexandra.
-
-"Lord Chalfont knows more about him than I do. He had him turned out of
-his club. It's an exclusive one, and some thoughtless young fellow had
-brought him in. I don't think he's very nice, dear. What a pity he
-knows your friend."
-
-Alexandra hesitated. She guessed that Mrs. Lambert had asked Maggy out
-of consideration to herself. But if she knew that Woolf and Maggy were
-intimate perhaps she would wish to rescind that invitation. Alexandra
-did not want to be disloyal to Maggy, nor yet to let Mrs. Lambert be
-deceived about her.
-
-"Maggy thinks a lot of him," she hesitated. "I don't want to talk about
-her because she is my friend, but--"
-
-Mrs. Lambert laid her hand on Alexandra's for a moment.
-
-"The majority of us have got a 'but' in our lives," she said in a
-curious tone, and then added with apparent irrelevance, "Did I tell you
-that Lord Chalfont will be staying with us on tour?"
-
-
-
-
- XVIII
-
-
-Maggy meant to disregard Woolf's injunction against her going to Mrs.
-Lambert's. The temptation to see Alexandra was too strong to resist.
-Moreover, she thought it likely that he would forget having made it.
-Then, if she went and he still objected, she would admit having
-disobeyed him. She would not lie about it. She never did tell lies;
-not on moral grounds but because lying was cowardly and she did not know
-the meaning of cowardice.
-
-Woolf had been a little overbearing with her lately, too much the
-master. She did not mind that sort of tyranny so long as it implied
-fondness, but she had a feeling that he was changing towards her. For
-one thing, she knew he was annoyed at her condition. That hurt her
-abominably. In books she had read of husbands and wives being drawn
-closer together, of estranged couples becoming reconciled under similar
-conditions. Indeed, she had hoped for special tenderness from him
-directly he knew they existed. She had even tried to delude herself
-into the hope that he might marry her.
-
-It was not that she wanted any legal hold on him. She would not have
-loved Woolf any more because of marriage. But if he married her it
-would be a guarantee of his love, which just now she had reason to
-doubt. That was all. The rights which marriage confer on a woman meant
-nothing to her. She only wanted to get rid of the nightmare dread of
-separation from him. Any other girl similarly situated would have stood
-out for marriage, but Maggy had too much pride for that. She recoiled
-from a more than possible refusal.
-
-She felt thrown back upon herself, lonely in spirit. A faintness
-assailed her whenever she thought of what she would have to undergo
-without a soul knowing of it except Woolf. And on this subject, so
-closely connecting them, Woolf was cold and remote. He would have shown
-more concern had she cut her finger. She wanted comfort. It would have
-helped her to confide in some sympathetic woman. She wondered whether
-she dared tell Alexandra, and decided that it would not be fair or even
-expedient. Virginal Alexandra would not understand, or if she
-understood she would be more afraid than Maggy herself. Obviously she
-could neither reassure nor comfort her, since the thing was right out of
-her experience, and always would be. Poor Maggy! Her abundant vitality,
-her pulsing affections, made motherhood infinitely desirable to her. As
-a child she had scarcely had time to play with dolls because she was
-always on the stage, but she had always yearned over babies. Nature,
-which takes no account of the individual, concerned only with the
-reproduction of the race, had intended her to be a mother. Man-made
-shibboleths were to deny her that right.
-
-She took great pains in dressing for her visit to Mrs. Lambert's. She
-was free from the spirit of feminine emulation, but she wanted to look
-her best, to please Alexandra's critical taste, so that she might
-remember how she looked that day, in case they might never see each
-other again. Maggy had never before been inclined to depression, but the
-clammy fingers of morbidity touched her now.
-
-She elected to wear a frock of sprigged muslin and a simple hat that she
-had trimmed herself. The hat was in part a concession to Woolf, for she
-took pleasure in such tasks, and liked him to see that she could excel
-in them. Thus dressed, she was quite perfect. Her coloring was so
-vivid and her figure so mature that extreme simplicity suited her. But
-she was not quite satisfied with the effect. Her eyes roved over the
-dressing-table in search of some finishing touch, and came to a stop at
-her jewel-case. From it she took a diamond bracelet Woolf had given
-her, and put it on. He had bestowed it on her with great
-impressiveness, and she accordingly believed it to be very valuable.
-
-When she reached Albert Place neither Mrs. Lambert nor Alexandra was in.
-They had been detained somewhere and had telephoned through to say so.
-The maid showed her into the drawing room. Somewhat to her dismay she
-found it occupied by a man. She did not know him by sight, but she
-immediately came to the conclusion that he must be Lord Chalfont. She
-felt awkward, uncertain whether it was "proper" to speak or not. She
-had not encountered any men of rank before, and had not the average
-chorus girl's assurance with male members of the peerage.
-
-Lord Chalfont got up.
-
-"I fancy we're both here for the same reason: to lunch," he said
-pleasantly. "Shall we become known to each other? I'm Lord Chalfont."
-
-"My name's Delamere," rejoined Maggy.
-
-"We both owe something to the French, then. It ought to provide us with
-a sort of _entente cordiale_."
-
-"Oh, I don't believe Delamere's my right name. It's too high-falutin'.
-But it's the only one I know of. My mother took it for the stage and it
-had to do for my christening."
-
-The statement was made quite innocently. Chalfont was amused.
-
-"I'm sure I've seen you before," he said.
-
-His easy manner gave her confidence. She liked him. She felt she could
-talk to him without being on her guard. The way in which he looked at
-her had nothing disturbing in it. It was not the hunting look which she
-was accustomed to see in men's eyes, and against which she was for ever
-armed. If there was a touch of admiration in it there was also respect.
-She recognized the difference, and knew she had to do with a gentleman.
-Woolf had spoken of him as a bounder. There he was obviously wrong.
-Lord Chalfont looked the sort of person she had seen in historical
-pictures, dressed in silk and lace, walking unconcernedly to have his
-head chopped off.
-
-"I daresay you've seen me often," she agreed. "I'm in the front row at
-the Pall Mall Theater--black chiffon over pink. Then I'm somebody's
-boot polish in the advertisements--my photograph, you know--cleaning my
-own shoes without dirtying my frock. And I'm somebody else's
-motorcoats, and nearly everybody's mouth-wash and cigarettes."
-
-Chalfont laughed.
-
-"By Jove! Do you know, I've always wondered who they got to sit for
-those advertisements. How's it arranged? Do you mind telling me?"
-
-"Not at all. Sometimes the people--cigarettes or motorcoats, you
-know--write and ask you to come and pose for them at their shops; but
-generally it's done through a photographer. He gets paid for taking the
-photos, and you get a little cheque and a lot of advertisement. When
-it's for a mouth-wash you have to put on a broad grin and show your
-teeth. It's awfully tiring sometimes. For a hair-restorer you wear
-your hair down, and if you haven't much they fluff it out with a long
-switch so as to make people believe in the stuff."
-
-"You're not tempted to use it, I suppose?"
-
-"Rather not! I've got too much hair as it is. It won't even fall out in
-the autumn and spring."
-
-"How about the cigarettes?"
-
-"Oh, I daresay they're all right, though I don't suppose you'd want to
-smoke them."
-
-"Just what I thought. Personally, I never buy anything that's
-advertised if I can help it. When I have it I invariably have a feeling
-that I'm being taken in."
-
-"I think it's the women more than the men who are taken in," said Maggy
-thoughtfully. "Women believe anything they see in the papers. I used to
-once."
-
-"But not now?"
-
-She shook her head. "You get to know a lot about make-believe when
-you're on the stage."
-
-"I suppose you do. How is it I've never met you here before?"
-
-"I'm Lexie's friend. I mean Miss Hersey. Excuse my bad habit of
-speaking of people by their Christian names. I know it's not right. I
-don't, myself, like to hear women call their husbands 'Daddy' or
-'Father' before strangers. It always sounds to me as if they wanted you
-to consider yourself one of the family."
-
-"But you know Mrs. Lambert, don't you?"
-
-"Hardly. I met her with Lexie in a shop the other day and she asked me
-to lunch. So here I am. Have I come too early?"
-
-"On the contrary. I'm very glad you're here, relieving my solitude."
-
-"I was afraid I was boring you. I can only talk rubbish. I can't help
-it. You see, I don't know anything about the things that sensible
-people talk about. Pictures and books and politics."
-
-"I think you do yourself an injustice. Please don't imagine I say it
-out of compliment, but it's evident you are full of ideas, jolly
-interesting ones, too."
-
-"Everybody has ideas of a sort, I suppose. What I mean is, I can't
-discuss any of the subjects that really matter. Religion, for instance.
-I know there are a thousand and one different ways of worshiping God,
-but I haven't brains enough to argue about them. I'm far more
-interested in a thousand different patterns for crochet, or the everyday
-things you see from the top of a bus. I'm just hot and cold, or happy or
-miserable."
-
-"Which is it to-day?" asked Chalfont.
-
-There was no flippancy in his tone. He saw that Maggy was an innately
-simple girl, quite natural, and by no means unintelligent. He found her
-frankness very refreshing, and he could but admire her delightful
-appearance. He was anything but bored.
-
-"Which is it to-day?" he repeated.
-
-"Warm and happy--just now. I'm not often miserable. I love my life,"
-she said.
-
-She meant it. The pretty room, the flowers abounding in it, the shaded
-windows framing masses of pink geranium, the soft ease of the big
-armchair she was seated in, so different from the new-art, unadaptable
-chairs of her own flat, had induced in her bodily comfort and mental
-contentment. For the moment she had forgotten the anxieties caused by
-her physical state. Unconsciously too she had fallen under the charm of
-Chalfont's amiability. She had never met a man like him. She felt she
-did not want to be on her guard with him. Whether he was more honest or
-more reasonable than other men she had known she did not stop to think
-about. Had she been asked for her chief impression of him she would
-have expressed it in the word clean.
-
-So while she waited for Alexandra's return she let her candor have full
-play, keeping Chalfont amused by her cheery talk and quaintly humorous
-accounts of her life behind the scenes at the Pall Mall. She had
-brought with her a number of picture postcards of herself to give to
-Alexandra, for recently she had become quite a photographic favorite,
-and these she showed him.
-
-"This is the one I like best," he said. "In the dress you have on now.
-It's charming."
-
-"The dress, you mean. I'm so glad you like it. I was afraid it was too
-quiet. I'm never quite sure about my dresses and hats. My taste in
-clothes isn't always quiet. I love bright colors. They make me feel
-warm and comfy. You know how dogs like rolling in mud. I have the same
-feeling about colors. If I see anything very bright and gorgeous I want
-to hug it to me for joy. People are always staring at me in the street
-because of what I'm wearing."
-
-Chalfont could quite understand that any one, in the street or
-elsewhere, would find pleasure in looking twice at such a beautiful
-creature. But he did not say so in so many words.
-
-"You need not mind that," he said. "There's an esthetic sense in nearly
-everybody that makes them glad to look at anything--radiant."
-
-"Radiant means brilliance, doesn't it? Talking of brilliance, do you
-like this?"
-
-She held out her arm with the bracelet on it. Chalfont had already
-noticed it. Now he gave it a closer inspection. Whilst being a good
-judge of precious stones he had a great liking for paste when it was old
-and good, but what he saw now was merely a product of the modern
-manufacturer.
-
-"A French copy, isn't it?" he asked, thoughtlessly.
-
-Maggy's eyes widened. French--copy? Her diamond bracelet a
-copy--imitation! She could not credit it.
-
-"But--they're diamonds!" she stammered, filled with a horrible
-misgiving.
-
-Chalfont noticed the sharp note of disappointment in her voice and put
-it down to one of two causes. Either she had been defrauded by somebody
-or the bracelet was a present meant to deceive her. He made haste to
-modify the opinion he had expressed about it. Looking at it once more,
-he said:
-
-"Is it? I'm awfully sorry. Of course, I must be mistaken. Hullo!" he
-interjected with relief, "here are Mrs. Lambert and Miss Hersey."
-
-
-
-
- XIX
-
-
-Lunch was over. Chalfont had taken his departure; Mrs. Lambert had
-excused herself on account of a bad headache and gone to lie down. The
-two girls were alone. The personal equation began to trouble Maggy
-again.
-
-"I haven't seen you to talk to since you came to the flat," she said
-diffidently. "Were you really cross with Fred? Of course, what he said
-about Lord Chalfont was only what he'd heard. I could see by your face
-you were shocked."
-
-"No, I wasn't exactly shocked," Alexandra answered.
-
-"But you didn't like it. Fred didn't mean any harm. He's like me: he
-doesn't think what he says. I wish you liked him. You don't, do you?"
-
-"You make me uncomfortable, Maggy. We can't all like the same people."
-
-"But you're sorry I'm so fond of him?"
-
-"Very sorry," said Alexandra in a low voice.
-
-"I can't stop caring because of that. It's--it's in my system. Some
-girls fall in love with a man because they believe he's good or noble or
-brave or something they're particularly keen on; but if they find out
-they're mistaken they're off that man like fleas from a dead rabbit. If
-that sounds vulgar please forgive me, Lexie. The words just came out.
-It's one of Fred's expressions. What I mean is, I can't love like that,
-though I know I should be much more comfortable if I could. If I knew
-you'd stolen Mrs. Lambert's purse or gone off with a rag-picker it
-wouldn't make a bit of difference to me. It's you I love, not what you
-do. And I feel the same about Fred, only more so."
-
-Prior to this, Mrs. Lambert had asked Alexandra a few questions about
-Maggy's relations with Woolf. The answers she had fitted in with
-certain information about the man himself previously imparted to her by
-Chalfont. What she deduced from the two statements made her sorry for
-Alexandra's friend and a little anxious about her.
-
-"No girl is safe with a man like that," she had said to Alexandra. "If
-I were you I should try and persuade her to break with him."
-
-And Alexandra meant to try. There was one weapon she might have used to
-shake Maggy's loyalty to Woolf: the cruelly belittling way in which he
-had referred to her just before her cab drove off. But she shrank from
-that. It was too poisonous.
-
-"What would you say if I asked you to leave him?" she asked. "Supposing
-I needed you back with me?"
-
-Maggy weighed the problem.
-
-"I should say you jolly well knew I couldn't come," she answered. "I'm
-all in. If Fred was in Hell and wanted me there I believe I'd have to
-get to him. You don't know what it is."
-
-"What is it?"
-
-"It's the little things about him that have eaten into me. I'm
-corrupted, or corroded, whatever it is. Perhaps it's both. I love the
-white lock in his hair, the little pellet in his ear where he got
-peppered out shooting once, the scent of his tobacco, the smell of a
-Harris tweed suit he's got." She sniffed sensuously. "And there are
-other things I can't tell you about...."
-
-"If he were to die or married some one else you would have to resign
-yourself to doing without him," argued Alexandra.
-
-"Perhaps. I don't know. He's not dead or married, and I'm his. I know
-he could manage without me. I'm just like an ornament to him. He dusts
-me and puts me back on my shelf, and takes me down sometimes and has a
-look at me. I hope to God he'll never drop or break me!"
-
-Alexandra was disturbed by the depth of passion in her voice.
-
-"I know what you think about Fred," Maggy went on. "You think he's
-something near a cad. Well, there are lots of women who love cads and
-who don't know that they are cads. Perhaps I'm one of them. You can't
-put me out of this, Lexie dear. I don't know how it's going to end and
-I don't want to know. That's where real life is rather like the stage.
-The tag to a play's kept dark, never spoken until the curtain's about to
-hide the players from view. If we knew how things were going to end
-with us--knew the tags to our lives--I guess some of us wouldn't be able
-to go on with our parts off the stage."
-
-It was like arguing with a fatalist. Her loyalty to Woolf was as
-unalterable as destiny. Alexandra gave up trying to move her. She
-changed the conversation, and an hour later Maggy went upstairs in
-response to a message from Mrs. Lambert, who wanted to say good-by to
-her.
-
-Mrs. Lambert's bedroom was in half darkness. She was still racked with a
-headache, but she wanted to see Maggy and to hear whether Alexandra had
-succeeded in persuading her to break with Woolf. For this purpose she
-had left the two girls alone together. Maggy closed the door gently
-behind her and tip-toed toward the bed.
-
-"I'm so sorry you feel bad," she said feelingly. "It won't do for me to
-stop talking to you. That will make your head worse. I'll just say
-good-by and go. Thank you for being so kind to me. It was nice to come
-and see Lexie here."
-
-"You're very fond of her?" asked Mrs. Lambert.
-
-"She's fine. I lived with her, you see. When you live for weeks with
-another girl in one room, and don't have a cross word it stands to
-reason one of you must be eighteen-carat. That's Lexie. She never
-complained or lost heart, not even when things were bad and I left her.
-She's the quiet sort but she's a fighter. There were soldiers in her
-family. It comes out in her. But I've started to talk--"
-
-"You don't tire me. Sit down. It's refreshing to hear a woman speak
-well of another. Rather a novelty too. Aren't you jealous of her going
-away with me?"
-
-"No, I'm awfully glad she's found you. I was thinking this afternoon
-how well she fitted in with everything here. She's a lady, like you.
-Things that I never fretted about because I wasn't used to them, she
-must have missed terribly. She's fine lace. I'm crochet work."
-
-Mrs. Lambert laid her thin hand on Maggy's.
-
-"How would you like to come on tour with us?" she asked. "I could make
-room for you. But I suppose your contract at the Pall Mall wouldn't
-permit of it?"
-
-The unexpected proposition was tempting enough. Under different
-circumstances Maggy would have jumped at it.
-
-"It isn't the contract that would stop me," she said with some
-hesitation. "But I've got a--flat."
-
-There was a pregnant pause.
-
-"And there's another reason.... I--I have to go away for a little while
-... and I was glad that Lexie would be away. Oh, what have I said? You
-don't understand?"
-
-"I think I do."
-
-Maggy's face flushed crimson and then went white. Mrs. Lambert's hand
-still lay on hers. Contact with it gave her a feeling of sisterhood, a
-longing to confide. Her pent up feelings suddenly found voice.
-
-"I want to tell some one," she choked. "I've got to go through with
-something I hate--and dread. I've longed to speak to another woman
-about it, but there was only Lexie, and she's not"--she stumbled over
-the word--"married. I wouldn't tell her. It wouldn't have been right."
-
-"Tell me."
-
-"I--can't see your face," whispered Maggy fearfully.
-
-"It's not turned from you."
-
-Then Maggy unburdened her soul. A flood of unreserved words broke from
-her. Mrs. Lambert neither moved nor spoke, but the grasp of her hand
-tightened as the poignant story culminated.
-
-"I daren't let myself think about it," Maggy's faltering voice went on.
-"If I think too much my brain begins to rock, and I'm afraid. It's
-wonderful and awful and I don't feel the same. The other day I saw a
-woman in the street. She had such a pretty baby in her arms. It was
-too heavy for her to carry, and she looked dead tired, but I could see
-by her face how she loved it, weight and all, and I had to hold on to
-myself to stop from screaming out, 'You're lucky. You can keep yours.
-I--'" Something she dimly discerned in Mrs. Lambert's face brought her
-to a sudden stop. "Why, I've made you cry!" she said contritely. "What
-a brute I am!"
-
-"No, no. Don't take your hand away," was the soft rejoinder. "You poor
-child! My heart aches for you."
-
-
-When Maggy re-entered the drawing room her eyes were suspiciously red.
-She seemed anxious to get away. She put her arms round Alexandra and
-hugged her.
-
-"Good-by, Lexie," she said breathlessly. "Don't forget me. The best of
-luck. Mrs. Lambert's an angel. T-tell her so--from me."
-
-She tore herself away, pulled down her veil, and was gone, leaving
-Alexandra bewildered.
-
-Maggy stopped at a jeweler's on her way home. Taking off her bracelet,
-she handed it to the man behind the counter.
-
-"Don't bother to tell me what it's worth. Just say whether it's real or
-sham," she said.
-
-It was sham.
-
-She dropped it into her bag and went out, with a new pain gripping at
-her heart. She never wore the bracelet again.
-
-After dinner that evening Woolf remarked its absence. She had worn it
-ever since he had given it to her.
-
-"Where's your bracelet?" he inquired. "I hope you haven't left it about
-or had it stolen."
-
-"Fred," she said, looking him steadily in the eyes, "I found out quite
-by accident that it isn't real. Wait a minute. Let me finish. You
-know I don't care tuppence about the value of anything you give me. It
-isn't the cost I think of. If you'd given me a ring out of a penny
-cracker I wouldn't have changed it for another from somebody else a
-million times its value. But don't sham to me. I--I can't bear it."
-
-"I never told you they were real diamonds," he rejoined in a nettled
-voice. "If I didn't say they were paste you ought to have guessed it.
-Anyhow, the bracelet cost me twenty pounds. Genuine stones that size
-would have run to the price of a damn good race horse." He gave her a
-disparaging look. "Why, all in, you don't cost me as much as one of the
-animals I've got in training."
-
-The words froze her. She stared at him in dumb agony.
-
-"Oh, my heart!" she cried, with a sudden catch at her breath.
-
-He sat still, coldly indifferent.
-
-"And I've given it to you!" she presently whispered.
-
-
-
-
- XX
-
-
-Alexandra's longing to act, to appear before an impartial audience in a
-play reflecting every-day life, was at last satisfied when the tour
-began. Her part was a very small one, that of a parlormaid only, but it
-did not prevent her going through the usual phases of stage fright at
-the first performance. On the second night she was calm and collected.
-At the end of a week it surprised her to find that she was no longer
-under the spell of theatricalism.
-
-Had she joined the company in the ordinary way the glamour of the stage
-would have got hold of her and remained with her for a long time. As an
-insignificant member of it, out of touch with its leading light, she
-would have imagined mysteries where none existed. But from the very
-first all these so-called mysteries were exposed. She was like the
-assistant to the conjuror: she saw how things were done.
-
-In the first place, Mrs. Lambert did not pose as any high-priestess of
-the drama: she was rather contemptuous of the stage. She thought of it
-as a way to make an easy living, that was all. Alexandra's notions about
-the stage were all associated with Art: Mrs. Lambert's were confined to
-figures. She and her manager talked business unexcitedly for an hour
-every day, never esthetics. She was mildly amused when Alexandra showed
-her enthusiasm for acting, as she did in that first week.
-
-"You'll get over it, my dear," she said. "It's not an art, merely a
-matter of temperament. If acting were creative one could take it
-seriously, but it isn't. The author creates; the actor only represents.
-When I'm acting I often feel like the inside of a moving picture show.
-It's all mechanical."
-
-"But," said Alexandra, "you weren't always like that? When you first
-went on the stage--"
-
-"I felt as you do, all emotion and inexperience. Now that I've lived and
-am disillusioned I know that the stage is only a business, and not a
-very edifying one. The public don't see that side of it, fortunately.
-They think only of the amusement it provides. If they would stop there
-it wouldn't matter: but they have such a mania for everything theatrical
-in this country, such a desire to penetrate beyond the footlights, that
-they quite forget the necessity for a curtain between the make-believe
-of the stage and themselves. They're like a child with a toy. They want
-to see the inside mechanism, and directly they do they suffer the usual
-disappointment. I never take people 'behind'; if I do I always find
-they never again want to pay for a seat 'in front.' We're only
-shop-keepers, after all, and shop-keepers don't invite their customers
-behind the counter, any more than the customers are in the habit of
-asking their butcher or their baker to dinner. Somehow you can't get
-the public to see things like that. Instead of keeping members of the
-stage at a distance, treating them like kennel-dogs, they invite them to
-their houses and pamper them. It makes them more conceited and
-self-sufficient than they are already. I don't deny that a few actors
-and actresses are decently born and bred, indoor dogs, so to speak,
-knowing their manners; but that's no reason why the whole pack should be
-made free of the public's drawing rooms.... Let us walk up to the
-cathedral and spend a quiet hour there."
-
-The tour had opened in a small cathedral town, and the three hours spent
-at the theater each night hardly counted in their daily round. They
-motored about the surrounding country, or read, talked and did
-needlework in the private sitting room of their quiet hotel. Such a
-life, placid and yet full of pleasant occupation, was delightful to
-Alexandra. She found the weekly change from town to town exhilarating,
-and the journey each Sunday in Mrs. Lambert's comfortable landaulette a
-luxurious mode of traveling.
-
-At the end of their first week Chalfont came down and remained with them
-for the rest of the tour. Both he and Mrs. Lambert treated Alexandra on
-terms of equality so that she never felt an intruder on their intimacy.
-Before her they made no secret of their attachment, but she never
-regarded it as anything more close than what might exist between old and
-tried friends. Sometimes she detected in Mrs. Lambert quite a sisterly
-attitude toward Lord Chalfont. That was probably accounted for by the
-differences in their ages, she being a few years the elder.
-
-Chalfont often asked after Maggy. He had quite an open admiration for
-her, which Mrs. Lambert shared. But, unlike him, she seldom asked for
-news of her. At the time, Alexandra did not notice this apparent lack
-of interest. She was not able to impart anything about Maggy for the
-simple reason that she had not heard from her. Only twice during the
-early days of the tour had there been a letter from her. After that,
-although Alexandra repeatedly wrote, she got no reply. She could not
-help wondering at this silence. It was not like Maggy. Later, when she
-spoke of it to Mrs. Lambert, the latter did not seem surprised.
-
-"You're sure to hear from her soon. She may be away," she said.
-
-And a letter did arrive from Maggy shortly afterwards. It was written
-in pencil and strangely shaky, quite unlike her habitual hand, which
-although childish, was remarkably firm. She said very little, confirmed
-Mrs. Lambert's prophecy by admitting that she had been away for a
-change, owing to which she had not received Alexandra's letters until
-her return. She ended with a postscript which had evidently been added
-in a burst of feeling.
-
-"I love Fred more than ever, Lexie. I couldn't exist without him. He
-has been such a dear since I got back."
-
-Alexandra passed it across the breakfast table to Mrs. Lambert, with the
-remark:
-
-"It's from Maggy. She doesn't say what has been the matter with her,
-though."
-
-Chalfont looked up.
-
-"Has your friend been ill?" he asked with concern. "I'm sorry to hear
-that. We must send her some flowers, Ada."
-
-"Yes, we will," Mrs. Lambert concurred.
-
-After breakfast he went out to buy some. When he came back Mrs. Lambert
-was alone in the room.
-
-"What beauties!" she said, lifting the lid of the box he had brought in
-with him. "Catherine Mermets."
-
-She hung over the roses, the bitter-sweet of the memories they evoked
-coming up to her with their delicate fragrance. Chalfont always bought
-her Catherine Mermets when they were in bloom, great masses of them; but
-it was Hugh Lambert who had first given her a bunch of three, purchased
-at a street corner at sixpence each in the days when sixpences were
-scarce with him.
-
-"I got them because they are your favorites," he said. "I thought she
-would be sure to like what you like. Anyway, what's good enough for you
-is good enough for anybody."
-
-She put her arm over his shoulder and kissed him.
-
-"You're always so thoughtful, and so loyal," she said. "I'm getting old
-and you remain steadfast. It seems such an irony of fate that I can't
-love you as you deserve. Although Hugh has no claim on my feelings or
-my memory, I can't forget him. I give you so little, Leonard. One day,
-perhaps, some girl will love you worthily, and make up for my meanness."
-
-He smiled down at her, shaking his head.
-
-"Keep those roses," he said. "I'll get Miss Delamere some more."
-
-"No, no, I want her to have them. Put your card in. Shall I write the
-address?"
-
-
-Woolf was with Maggy when the post brought her the roses. He cut the
-string and stood looking on while she removed the tissue wrappings.
-
-"Oh, roses!" she cried delightedly. "Who can have sent them?"
-
-They had traveled as well as could be expected of cut flowers, but they
-were flagging a little for want of water.
-
-Woolf pounced on the card that accompanied them.
-
-"'Lord Chalfont,'" he read, and scowled at the club address in the
-corner. "Damn his impudence sending you flowers! And how the devil
-does he know your address?" he demanded angrily.
-
-Maggy was perturbed at this outburst.
-
-"You needn't mind, Fred," she said placably.
-
-"Did you tell him where you lived?"
-
-"Of course not. You needn't go back to that. You said you'd forgiven me
-for going to lunch with Mrs. Lambert that day. You know I met him
-there, and that's all there is in it. He must have known that I--I
-hadn't been well--through Lexie, and sent the flowers out of
-politeness." She turned the lid of the box up. "The address is in a
-woman's hand: Mrs. Lambert's. There's nothing to look so furious about."
-
-The fact that flowers should come to Maggy from a comparative stranger
-would not, of itself, have irritated Woolf. She often received flowers
-now, and from men she had never met. Her good looks and prominence at
-the Pall Mall accounted for this. Woolf made no objection. The
-admiration of other men for her rather enhanced her desirability in his
-eyes. He took it as a tribute to his own good taste in having secured
-possession of her. But Chalfont's name affected him in much the same
-manner as a red rag does a bull. It blinded him with rage because it
-stood for everything that he himself was devoid of--birth, breeding,
-nobility of nature--and, moreover, because it was that of the man who
-had humbled him by having him turned out of the select club to which he
-aspired to membership. That incident had touched Woolf on the raw. It
-was much as if he had been told that he was unworthy of association with
-gentlemen.
-
-He picked up the roses and pitched them into the fireplace.
-
-"Damned cheek, sending you a few pennyworth of dead flowers!" he flared
-out. "I'll go and buy you some live ones!"
-
-Maggy did not protest. She had learnt discretion with Woolf. He flung
-out of the flat. Half-an-hour later a messenger boy came with a
-magnificent bouquet of freshly-cut Catherine Mermets.
-
-Maggy was so happy arranging them.
-
-
-
-
- XXI
-
-
-In spite of the pleasant conditions under which the tour proceeded it
-began to be evident to Alexandra that Mrs. Lambert was suffering from
-acute nervous strain. She would spend hours on the sofa in thoughtful
-silence. Conversely, she showed undue vivacity on the stage at night.
-Sometimes she evinced an almost feverish interest in the financial side
-of her tour, growing depressed when business was indifferent and unduly
-elated when it was extra good.
-
-During this period Alexandra learnt for the first time that Mrs. Lambert
-had a daughter. Inconsequently enough, as it seemed to her, Mrs.
-Lambert's reference to the fact was the outcome of a talk between them
-one day concerning Maggy. It showed the elder woman in a new aspect,
-strongly maternal in her feelings. The child's absence evidently
-distressed her.
-
-"Why don't you have her with you?" was the natural inquiry that rose to
-Alexandra's lips.
-
-The reply to this was as spontaneous as the question.
-
-"I would love to! But how could I? Baba is ten. There's Chalfont....
-Children are so quick to notice things...."
-
-Alexandra's puzzled look showed that she placed a very innocent
-construction on the intimacy of these two.
-
-"You didn't think we were only friends?" Mrs. Lambert inquired a little
-reluctantly. "It's not so. I supposed you knew."
-
-The admission did not actually shock Alexandra, but it pained her. She
-found it difficult to associate Mrs. Lambert with any form of liaison.
-Lord Chalfont, moreover, had also given her the impression of being a
-man averse from it. That these two, in Alexandra's estimation so free
-from the taint of theatrical libertinism, should not have been superior
-to circumstances was singularly disconcerting.
-
-"I did think you were only friends," she said.
-
-Her voice was so full of disappointment that Mrs. Lambert half-regretted
-her frankness. She knew Alexandra to be a very pure-minded girl. She
-felt she owed her an explanation.
-
-"Friendship as you understand it is difficult, almost impossible,
-between a man and woman in circumstances like ours," she said. "Lord
-Chalfont has remained unmarried on my account. I think you must know
-that my husband and I are separated. Well, a woman is a very lone
-creature without love and sympathy. There are so many things she cannot
-do for herself. If there were nothing else there would always be the
-difficulty of business. I have to work for Baba's sake. I couldn't do
-it alone. I _must_ leave her independent of the stage."
-
-"I am so sorry," was all Alexandra could say.
-
-"I believe you are. My dear, when I was your age, like you I was full
-of regrets for all the wrongs of the world. I wanted it perfect and
-morally rigid. I meant to show that an actress could still be a lady
-and quite virtuous. I don't think I've disproved the one, but the Fates
-have been too strong for me to fulfill the second qualification. I had
-to separate from my husband. I did not want to. I loved him. I have
-nothing to reproach myself with for the rupture between us. But for that
-I should always have been a faithful wife. I only thought of his
-career. I used to fight all his battles, on and off the stage. At one
-time I did all his business for him because he hated it. In those days
-he wasn't spoilt. He was just a fascinating, childish person with all
-the sensitiveness of an artistic temperament. He was very fond of me,
-too.... Then came the time when he went into management, and there was
-no part for me. I was not to play "lead" with him because he considered
-me unsuited to it. I was too proud to play a smaller part in his own
-theater.... He engaged Mary Mantel. In that play their love-making
-brought down the house. It was so real. It _was_ real. I found that
-out very soon. Mary Mantel deliberately took my husband from me. He
-was too weak to resist her--to resist pleasing any pretty woman.... I
-told them both what I knew ... and we parted. If I hadn't discovered
-what I did, or suppressed my knowledge of it, I don't doubt but that he
-would be with me now, behaving as a lover to two women! ... For years
-Lord Chalfont went about with me. We were friends, nothing more. I
-always hoped Hugh would make atonement and want me back. But I lost
-heart, and Chalfont was always there, so patient and kind.... As a
-Catholic I couldn't bring myself to divorce Hugh and marry him, and I
-thought that if he should ever get tired of me I should like him to feel
-free.... Because I am an actress, to whom all things are forgiven, the
-voice of social ostracism had never been raised against our union....
-That is the whole story. Well, what do you think of me now?"
-
-Alexandra did not know what to think, still less to say. The only
-comment she felt capable of making was that Mrs. Lambert was not
-degraded by what she had done. That was evident. Alexandra did not make
-the comparison, but all the same she dimly comprehended that there was a
-certain similarity between Maggy's case and Mrs. Lambert's. It had
-never occurred to Alexandra that Maggy was degraded either.... Quite
-suddenly, like a revelation, the reason of the sympathy between these
-two, now her closest friends, dawned on her.... Insensibly too, because
-she was not thinking of herself, her own resistance to frailty seemed to
-weaken. There was to come a time when she would recall every word Maggy
-and Mrs. Lambert had spoken on the subject of sex conflict and the
-stage.
-
-"I think none the less of you," she answered steadily after a long
-pause. "I suppose you are being more true to yourself in not divorcing
-your husband and marrying Lord Chalfont."
-
-"I don't know. I'm not sure that I've done right. But the stage makes
-it so easy for you to do wrong, to choose the way your inclinations
-lead.... Chalfont has been the greater sufferer. He hates to think that
-our relationship, when discussed, is bracketed with the usual run of
-light and unholy compacts. I confess to being more thick-skinned. The
-stage blunts one's finer feelings, I suppose. There's something
-dreadfully insidious about it. Its lax atmosphere saps the sense of
-rectitude. You don't know that your views are gradually altering until
-you suddenly discover that, like everybody else on it, you are about to
-make its customs fit your own circumstances. Nobody on the stage is
-free from that taint: chorus girls are not a bit more frail than
-highly-paid actresses. Chorus girls are more flagrant, that is all."
-
-Alexandra was looking very serious and dismayed.
-
-"It's rather terrible," she said reflectively. "Maggy has often said
-much the same thing in a different way. Is _everything_ wrong?"
-
-"For a girl like you, yes. I don't assert that everything and everybody
-on the stage is bad. There are exceptions, of course. Clouds have their
-silver lining. What I do maintain is that the stage is not and never
-can be a profession that a nice-minded girl can adopt and expect to
-remain untainted by."
-
-"I wonder"--Alexandra's voice was almost fearful--"what my own ideas
-about it will be in a few years' time."
-
-"In a few years' time, my dear girl, with luck you will be married and
-have forgotten all its ugliness. You may perhaps still be sufficiently
-enamored of the theater to let your husband sometimes pay for two
-stalls; and sometimes when you pass a struggling actress in the street
-you will recognize her by her stamp and thank God that you're out of it
-all. That's the best that can happen to you."
-
-"But you? You wouldn't like to be out of it--altogether?"
-
-Mrs. Lambert's eyes seemed to hold some happy secret.
-
-"I look forward to the day when I shall be--resting," she made answer.
-"Have you ever tried to wind a ball of thread with the skein in your
-hand? It isn't easy. My skein is tangled ... and I am tired."
-
-
-
-
- XXII
-
-
-They were at Eastbourne during the following week. One morning whilst
-in her bedroom putting on her hat in readiness for a walk Alexandra was
-startled by an impetuous knock at her door. Chalfont's voice, calling
-her by name, took her hurriedly to it.
-
-"Please go to Ada at once," he said. "She's ill. She can't act
-to-night. I have to see her manager and telephone to London for her
-doctor. You'll look after her while I'm gone, won't you?" he added with
-deep solicitude as he hastened off.
-
-Alexandra went quickly to Mrs. Lambert's room. She was greatly
-concerned by Chalfont's bad news, but far less unprepared for it than he
-had been. On the previous night Mrs. Lambert had almost collapsed in
-her dressing room, though she had made light of it and had forbidden
-Alexandra to say anything about it to Chalfont. Now she was worse, just
-recovering from the dead faint in which she had been found. She looked
-exceedingly ill.
-
-"Don't be frightened," she said in a weak voice. "I know perfectly well
-what is the matter with me. I'm afraid it means an untimely end to the
-tour, though. You won't leave me?"
-
-"Of course not," Alexandra promised. "You mustn't worry about the tour,
-or anything. You want a rest. You'll be quite strong again soon."
-
-Mrs. Lambert smiled faintly. "I told you I looked forward to resting.
-I meant it in its eternal sense. Six months ago I knew what was in
-store for me, but I meant to stand out this tour, if I could. I'm
-afraid they'll try and persuade me to have an operation.... Just an
-outside chance of living.... Oh, my dear, I would so like to die
-quietly without being cut about and pried into."
-
-The tears came into Alexandra's eyes. Illness she was prepared for, but
-not the thought of death.
-
-"Please, please, don't talk like that," she said unsteadily. "Heaps of
-people who are very ill get better. Let me undress you. Then I'll sit
-by you. But I don't think you ought to talk."
-
-Mrs. Lambert was very passive. When Alexandra had undressed her she lay
-for a little in silence. Suddenly she said:
-
-"Remember I'm a Catholic.... See that I have a priest at the last ...
-if it comes to that. And--I must say this, don't stop me--if--it's
-necessary--afterwards--I would like you to write to my husband and tell
-him I sent my love."
-
-"Yes, yes, I promise," murmured Alexandra huskily.
-
-Mrs. Lambert turned on her pillow.
-
-"Baba will be all right, I think," she whispered, and fell asleep.
-
-She was awake again and quite cheery when the doctor, a noted
-specialist, arrived during the late afternoon. He was a long time with
-her and also a long time with Chalfont afterwards. The result of that
-conference was that the latter came to Alexandra and told her that an
-immediate operation had been decided on.
-
-"To-morrow?" she asked fearfully.
-
-The weakening effect of suspense made her shrink from the imminence of
-the ordeal, although it was not she who was to endure it. Deep distress
-was in Chalfont's face.
-
-"No, to-night," he said brokenly. "She wouldn't consent at first....
-When Sir James told me that delay was dangerous I had to--to advise her
-to undergo it." He could hardly get the words out. "There isn't time
-to move her. The hotel people have been very decent about it. I have
-just seen the manager.... Two nurses are coming."
-
-Alexandra could only stand and struggle with her voice. Her feelings
-were beyond expression.
-
-"I'm afraid--terribly afraid we have to face losing her," said Chalfont
-at last.
-
-"Oh, I hope not," she said fervently, while the tears streamed down her
-face. "Is there anything I can do?"
-
-"Yes, there is." What he had to say cost him a struggle. "Her husband
-ought to know. He ought to be here. I doubt whether a telegram would
-be any use, and I can't go to him. Will you?"
-
-"I'll do anything," she said.
-
-"Thank you. I'll have the car round at once then." He looked at his
-watch. "It's six now. You can be in town by a little after eight.
-You'll catch him at the theater. Try and bring him back with you.
-It--the operation--will be over by that time. We shall know--one way or
-the other. You would like to see her before you start?"
-
-"Please." Alexandra was very white, but she was quiet now that she knew
-the worst and had not to await in inactivity. "She told me she would
-like a priest," she said. "I think you should send for one."
-
-"I have already."
-
-She took a step toward the door but turned suddenly and without speaking
-put her hand out. He grasped and held it tightly, taking comfort from
-the action.
-
-"You'll do your best, I know," he said gratefully.
-
-
-
-
- XXIII
-
-
-Alexandra said nothing to Mrs. Lambert of her impending errand.
-Discretion counseled silence about it. From what she had heard of Hugh
-Lambert, and judging also by Chalfont's doubts, unexpressed though they
-were, whether he would respond to the obligation imposed on him, she was
-dreadfully afraid that she might not be successful. Still, she could do
-nothing by remaining in the hotel, and in going she was avoiding the
-purgatory of having to sit in an adjoining room while the woman who had
-been so good to her was in the toils of death.
-
-It was half-past six when Chalfont saw her off after bidding the
-chauffeur use the best speed the car was capable of. The man, who was
-devoted to his mistress, needed little incentive. Once informed of her
-perilous condition his one thought was to do his best for her by getting
-to his destination without the loss of a moment.
-
-Once out of the town he let his engine out. Alexandra found herself
-leaning forward in the car, involuntarily actuated by a desire to urge
-it on still faster. At first her troubled mind could not think
-coherently, but as the Panhard tore along over the smooth tarred road
-northwards, the monotony of its motion tended to abate her nervous
-tension. She found herself reviewing the incidents that had culminated
-in the present crisis. They passed through her mind like a set of moving
-pictures, the hum of the engine accentuating the illusion.
-
-She saw herself at home, alone, bereft of the mother with whom she had
-happily spent so many years in the small and placid provincial town that
-was like a harbor of refuge to superannuated Anglo-Indians; her
-departure from it under the eyes of a sceptical circle of friends,
-suspect because she had elected to choose so unconventional a way of
-life as the stage; flitting shadows of herself in London looking for
-employment; the unpleasant picture of a boarding-house; the still more
-unpleasant incident that had caused her to leave it; then the somber
-picture of the Pall Mall stage and Maggy. The screen of her mind threw
-things up clearly now. The perspective of time robbed the little room
-in Sidey Street of its uninviting aspect, and her life there of its
-straitened circumstances. Maggy's desertion of her was the one sad
-feature of that picture. The reel of experience became vivid again as
-it showed her in happy companionship with the actress. Pleasant scenes
-and cheerful incidents characterized it, obliterating from her mind the
-troublous past. Then, close on the heels of this state of content came
-the unexpected shock of present happenings. From being a spectator of
-the introspective drama she came to herself, startled by the abrupt
-consciousness of personal participation in it.
-
-The pale face and luminous eyes of the sick woman filled her thoughts;
-the odor of drugs that permeated the room in which she had left her
-seemed to fill her nostrils. She thought too of Chalfont and the
-self-denying motives that had prompted him to send for the one man he
-could least wish to see.
-
-It was dark inside the car now, but the lit streets and the turmoil of
-traffic through which it was threading its way meant that she had
-reached London.
-
-London again! She no longer felt about it as she had in the days when
-she was new to it. The novelty of it had worn off. She had seen its
-seamy side, lived on the verge of its submerged life, been up against
-the brunt of it. Repugnance to it filled her when she remembered, as
-she suddenly did, that before many days had elapsed she would probably
-have to return to it. She found herself shrinking at the prospect of
-going back to the conditions that wore one down and sapped one's power
-of resistance in the unequal fight for a living there, from having to
-resume the weary round once more among the agencies; the interminable
-suspense in stuffy waiting rooms among the loquacious crowd of
-out-of-works. It all came back so vividly: her soul sickened of it.
-
-She knew that if Mrs. Lambert should recover she would stand by her.
-She had said as much. But if she died.... The unhappy speculation was
-not induced by selfishness. The next moment Alexandra's thoughts were
-solely concerned with Mrs. Lambert's personal peril. They made her
-forget her own fears. She tried to pray for her. It seemed incongruous
-to pray in Piccadilly, where the car was slowly threading its way among
-the traffic. Still, surely God could and would hear her in spite of the
-din made by the motor-buses!
-
-They were close to Lambert's theater now.... Another few minutes....
-The piece would be half over.... The car turned down a side street and
-stopped at the stage door. Alexandra got out. There was the usual
-difficulty with the stage-door keeper about admittance. He did not know
-her. She mentioned Mrs. Lambert's name. That stirred him even less.
-His attitude toward the last-named was that of the hireling inspired by
-the master. No _Mrs._ Lambert existed for him. Indeed, the importation
-of her name struck him as the ruse of a stage-struck damsel. They were
-always inventing dodges to get past him and make him lose his job. Ten
-precious minutes passed in futile argument. Even in an urgent case like
-this, vital to Lambert himself, the absurd inaccessibility of the
-successful actor toward any one of the outside world was borne in on
-Alexandra with exaggerated force.
-
-"I'll wait here until Mr. Lambert leaves the theater," she said at last.
-"And I think I can promise you that you'll lose your place when he hears
-that you refused to take up my card."
-
-Her indignation and her threat were too real to be ignored. They
-influenced the man's manner.
-
-"Oh, well, chuck it over," he said grudgingly.
-
-She handed it to him. In addition to her name it bore the words "Mrs.
-Hugh Lambert's Company." She had already penciled on it a line meant
-for Lambert's own eye. The man went off grumbling. When he returned
-his arrogance had entirely disappeared.
-
-"The governor will see you," he said. "Up the stairs and the first door
-on the right." Then he added insinuatingly: "Sorry to keep you waiting,
-miss; but I get it that hot if I let anybody pass who's wanting an
-engagement."
-
-She was indifferent to his regrets. All she wanted was to see Lambert
-and take him back with her. She passed in, hurried up the stairs, where
-at the top his dressing-room door stood open.
-
-Lambert was playing in a costume piece, a mid-Georgian comedy that owed
-a great deal of its inspiration to Sheridan. In it he appeared as a
-beau of that elegant period, and as Alexandra on entering saw him she
-could but admit that he looked the part. Dressed in gorgeous brocade
-through which a dainty sword-hilt protruded, immaculately bewigged,
-lace-ruffled and overpoweringly scented, as she discovered on nearing
-him, he gave her the impression of extreme elegance, tempered by
-foppishness and effeminacy. He was sitting before the mirror on his
-dressing-table, leaning toward it, adding a deeper pencil mark to his
-eyebrows. When he had done that to his satisfaction he picked up a
-stick of carmine and deliberately touched up the curve of his lips
-before turning round to face his visitor. Alexandra had always felt an
-instinctive dislike of make-up on a man's face, though she recognized it
-as essential to the stage. But Lambert's attitude before the mirror was
-so affected, so vain that he instantly inspired her with contempt.
-
-"You come from my wife?" he asked, and she thought she detected a note
-of dismay in his fine-toned voice. "Did she send you?"
-
-"No," she answered. "But I want you to come down to her at once. She
-is very ill. I motored up so as not to lose a minute."
-
-He gave a slightly startled movement at her news. It was as though he
-shrank from hearing it.
-
-"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Where is she?"
-
-"At Eastbourne."
-
-"Is--is it serious?"
-
-"Very serious. They--" the words stuck in her throat--"they are
-operating now. She wished to see you. She was talking of you to me
-this morning--"
-
-She was interrupted by the entrance of a third person, a woman who came
-in without knocking, a woman, pretty beneath her paint, with curiously
-hard blue eyes. She stared at Alexandra with open hostility and then
-looked interrogatively at Lambert.
-
-"This lady has come up from Eastbourne," he hesitated. "My wife is ill
-and wants to see me."
-
-After a momentary silence the newcomer allowed herself a trifling shrug
-of the shoulders.
-
-"She has been ill before," she said a little contemptuously, and turned
-to Alexandra. "What is it this time? A bilious attack?"
-
-Alexandra looked at her steadily, perhaps disdainfully. She guessed she
-had to do with Mary Mantel, the woman who had displaced Mrs. Lambert in
-her husband's affections.
-
-"We fear she is dying," was her rejoinder.
-
-The other woman laughed.
-
-"Oh, I see! Advertising her 'farewell to the stage.' I daresay she
-will take her time over it."
-
-Lambert turned on her.
-
-"Be quiet!" he exclaimed irritably.
-
-Again she shrugged. "It's our call directly."
-
-"I can't help that. MacBride must go on for me."
-
-He picked up a towel and was about to remove the grease paint from his
-face, but stopped at the ejaculation that broke from her.
-
-"You can't possibly go to-night," she burst out. "Evidently these
-people"--she made an impatient gesture that indicated Alexandra--"don't
-know that it's the last night of your season, and that you're booked to
-leave for America in three days' time. Or probably they don't care. To
-think of throwing up your part at a moment's notice and letting the
-curtain come down in your absence is madness. You must stop for your
-speech. If you want to you can go first thing to-morrow, though you'll
-probably have a wire by then to say your wife's better and won't see you
-for worlds!"
-
-A boy put his head in at the door.
-
-"Your call, sir," he announced.
-
-Lambert got up, the towel still in his hand, the paint still on his
-face. Alexandra watched the indecision in it. Had he enough strength
-of mind to come? Or would he let self-interest prevail?
-
-"Hugh, do be guided by me," begged Miss Mantel. "Think of your career.
-There will be call on call for you at the end of the show. The house is
-full of pressmen. Are you going to throw away hundreds of pounds' worth
-of gratuitous advertisement?"
-
-That last argument decided him. Publicity, the acclamation of the
-crowd, the opportunity to pose before it, to deliver the
-carefully-prepared speech, egotistical yet full of sham humility, were
-temptations he was unable to resist. With a quiver of his painted lips
-that owed nothing to solicitude for a wife who lay between life and
-death, he said:
-
-"I'll come in the morning;" and without looking at Alexandra, made for
-the stage.
-
-She heard the thunder of applause that greeted him. To the little tin
-gods the plaudits of the multitude are as the music of the spheres.
-
-
-
-
- XXIV
-
-
-It was verging on midnight when Chalfont came out of the sick room to
-hear the result of Alexandra's errand. The moment he saw that she was
-alone, limp and tired from her journey, he knew it had failed. He had
-had the forethought to have some cold supper ready for her, and while
-she ate a little of it and drank the glass of champagne which he
-insisted on her taking, he answered her many questions about Mrs.
-Lambert. In tones of sad resignation he told her that the operation had
-been successful but that there was little hope. She had taken the
-anesthetic badly and was still under its influence.
-
-"So Lambert wouldn't come?" he asked, when the painful subject was
-exhausted.
-
-"I believe he was willing to come," she replied. "I saw him alone first.
-But Miss Mantel came in and dissuaded him. It was a last night. He had
-to make a speech. She urged him to stay. He's very weak, I think. He
-said he would come in the morning. Can I go to her?"
-
-"Better not. The nurse will let us know when she is conscious. It
-oughtn't to be long now. Lie down on the sofa and try to sleep."
-
-She was too anxious for that, so they sat waiting, for hours as it
-seemed. Now and again they talked, but most of the time absorbed and
-troubled thought held them silent. No sound came from the next room.
-Presently its quiet was broken by the monotonous drone of a man's voice.
-Alexandra sat up, listening.
-
-"Who is that?" she asked.
-
-"The priest. He's with her."
-
-Twice they heard a faint murmur mingled with a low intoning. Another
-half-hour passed. Then the priest came noiselessly into the room. He
-drew Chalfont on one side and they spoke together in whispers.
-
-Presently the latter beckoned to Alexandra.
-
-"Come," he said; and the three went into the sick room.
-
-A light, carefully screened, threw the bed in shadow, but not
-sufficiently to hide the still form that lay upon it. Although the
-pallor of death was in Mrs. Lambert's face, it seemed to have grown
-youthful. She looked like a child asleep. Her eyes were closed. They
-could not tell whether she was aware of their presence or not. The
-priest stood at the foot of the bed lost in prayer. The nurses, still
-and white like statues, watched from a distance.
-
-Chalfont, kneeling with a hand laid gently on that of the woman he
-loved, broke the long silence.
-
-"Speak to us," he implored.
-
-She heard his voice and opened her eyes. They had a spectral look, and
-as she turned them from him to Alexandra an expression of concern crept
-into her face. She murmured something faintly.
-
-"Your husband will be here in the morning, dearest," he said softly but
-distinctly, trying to stimulate her to consciousness.
-
-Some weighty thought was affecting her mind. Her eyes were on Chalfont.
-She seemed to be making an effort to say something.
-
-"That poor girl ... that nice girl..."
-
-Chalfont bent low, fearful of losing the whispered words.
-
-"What poor girl, dear?"
-
-They thought she said "Maggy."
-
-
-Lambert arrived at six the next morning. His first concern was to
-explain breathlessly to Alexandra that he had been detained ... a
-business matter ... farewell supper.... She would understand.... He
-had hardly had three hours' sleep before starting. Chalfont and
-Alexandra could not help exchanging an outraged glance. When she told
-him that he had come too late his weak mouth opened in surprise. Then
-his features worked unpleasantly. He stood stupidly, looking as though
-he were about to burst into tears. Chalfont's tolerance was near its
-limit. With a set face he indicated the closed door.
-
-"In there," he said.
-
-Lambert hesitated.
-
-"Do you not want to see her?" Chalfont's voice was like steel.
-
-It only wanted the point-blank demand to unnerve Lambert completely. He
-collapsed into a chair. It would have been difficult to recognize his
-huddled figure as that of the debonair stage-gallant so familiar and so
-dear to a host of infatuated theater-goers.
-
-"Do you not want to see her?" Chalfont repeated remorselessly.
-
-Lambert's face was lowered. When he looked up cowardice transfigured
-it.
-
-"I--I've never looked on death," he quavered.
-
-Alexandra, shocked beyond words, thought that Chalfont would surely
-strike him. He stood over him so long in a tense attitude.
-
-"My God!" he at last exclaimed. "Can this be a man?"
-
-He went to the door by which Lambert had entered, opened it, and then
-drew aside as far as he could to let the actor pass.
-
-
-
-
- XXV
-
-
-The London newspapers had not given much of their space to Mrs.
-Lambert's doings while she was alive. She did not advertise in them.
-Besides, all their dramatic critics were on speaking terms with Lambert,
-and even dramatic critics have second-hand prejudices. But now that
-Mrs. Lambert was dead she was accorded the half-column of obituary
-notice to which actors and actresses seem to have a prescriptive right.
-Defunct millionaires and jam-makers get a little less: British officers
-who die for their country have to be satisfied with a couple of lines
-tucked away among the Military Intelligence.
-
-The papers belauded the dead woman. They recorded her dramatic
-successes with much detail. They were fulsome concerning her virtues.
-Their readers were left to imagine the feelings of her bereaved and
-heart-broken husband, who at the moment was sorting an auction-bridge
-hand in the cardroom of a transatlantic liner. It was the sort of
-pretentious gush that had always sickened Mrs. Lambert when she read it
-about others.
-
-The funeral was largely attended by members of the theatrical
-profession. Few of them knew the deceased personally, but as the
-occasion provided an opportunity for public exhibition and incidentally
-for getting their names into the papers they did not miss it.
-
-Maggy was not of these. Woolf had made some engagement for her which he
-would not let her break. But she sent a wreath. It was quite unlike
-any of the others. Hers was composed of autumn-tinted leaves and the
-last homely flowers that one sees in cottage gardens. She purposely
-wished to avoid the conventional effect aimed at by the professional
-florist whose stiff made-to-order wreath implies such indifference to
-death.
-
-Alexandra placed it at the head of the coffin. Mary Mantel had also sent
-one, ordered before she left for America with Lambert. But Alexandra
-refused to take it in. Lambert's card was inscribed "From your
-sorrowing husband." All the newspapers dragged in those words with a
-suitably unctuous comment.
-
-Late on the afternoon of the funeral Maggy managed to evade Woolf and go
-to Albert Place, thinking to find Alexandra there. The blinds had not
-yet been drawn up, but the front door was open. Feeling an aversion
-from disturbing the silence of a house of mourning she went in without
-ringing and ascended to the room Alexandra had used. Finding it empty
-she came down and looked into the drawing room. It was in the green
-gloom of a closed jalousie and she thought it unoccupied. In that room
-she had spent such a pleasant half-hour with Lord Chalfont not so very
-long ago. Since then, disaster had befallen its owner, and she herself
-had been very near to death. The three events seemed associated in her
-mind.
-
-She was about to draw back when a movement arrested her. At the far end
-she made out Chalfont. He was sitting at an escritoire with his head
-bent over it. After a moment of hesitation she went up to him and
-timidly touched him on the shoulder. Dazed by grief and with his
-thoughts far away he did not at first recognize her. Seeing how it was
-with him she gently said:
-
-"I'm Maggy. I didn't mean to disturb you. I was looking for Lexie....
-Now that I'm here I'd like to say how dreadfully sorry I am."
-
-After he had thanked her there was a pause. His ease had temporarily
-left him. Maggy felt she was intruding.
-
-"Do you know where she has gone? Lexie, I mean," she went on.
-
-"She wrote down her address." Chalfont searched for and found it among
-the papers on the escritoire. "109, Sidey Street."
-
-"Then she's gone back. That's where we used to live together."
-
-There was another silence. Then Chalfont said:
-
-"Will you let me know if there is anything I can do for her? Mrs.
-Lambert was very interested in her--and yourself. Indeed--" here he
-hesitated a little--"the last word she spoke was your name. That is why
-I--"
-
-The color came into Maggy's face. She did not let him finish.
-
-"Did she--did she say anything else?"
-
-"No; only your name. She seemed to be concerned about you."
-
-Maggy nodded.
-
-"She knew all about me," she said in an explanatory tone. "She was
-worried because I had been ill, I expect. She was like that, I know....
-And she knew I--I wasn't married."
-
-Her meaning was quite plain, as plain as the wedding-ring on her
-ungloved hand. In her honesty she thought the admission was due to
-Chalfont after he had apprized her of Mrs. Lambert's interest in her.
-His manner of doing so had implied friendship. She did not want to
-accept that under false pretenses.
-
-Chalfont was quick to appreciate her motive in making the confession.
-If possible it raised her in his estimation. But it filled him with a
-curious sense of disappointment. In spite of the absence of a legal
-bond between Mrs. Lambert and himself he had a strong distaste for free
-alliances. He had chafed against circumstances in his own case, and he
-was far from sitting in judgment on Maggy's. Still, he could not help
-the shock they had on his feelings.
-
-"You didn't think I was that sort," she said, guessing at what was in
-his mind. "Lexie's not, but I'm different. I'm not a lady. It wasn't
-only because I wanted clothes and jewelry, or because I was hungry
-that--that it happened. I _did_ hate going without things. But it was
-because I met a man who made me feel--like jelly. If he'd had nothing a
-year I would have gone to the devil with him just the same.... I'm
-telling you all this to show you why we can't be friends, although I
-know you're ever so kind."
-
-"Can we not? Mrs. Lambert was your friend."
-
-"I can't think why." Tears came into her eyes. "There aren't many
-women like her.... You loved her, didn't you?"
-
-"I loved her very dearly. More than she loved me. Though she loved me
-as much as I deserved," he added quickly.
-
-"And she loved her husband. I know. I think he must be a pig! ... Why
-do we love things that are bad for us, and men that don't care for us?
-... You would have married her, wouldn't you?"
-
-"That was what I desired more than anything else," he rejoined in a
-voice full of regret.
-
-This unreserved talk did not strike either of them as strange. Chalfont
-was usually sphynx-like about his innermost feelings, but with Maggy it
-seemed unnecessary to hide them. It did him good to unburden his heart
-to her. Maggy not only inspired confidence, she attracted it. It gave
-her a double hold on sympathy.
-
-"She would have been 'my lady' then," she said thoughtfully. "What a
-draw that would be to a lot of women--the women who don't put love
-first. It's when we love that we don't think what we get by it.... If
-the Earl of the Scilly Isles came crawling all the way from Scotland and
-wanted me to marry him I wouldn't leave Woolf."
-
-Chalfont lost sight of her amazing geography in the surprise he felt at
-the name she mentioned.
-
-"Woolf! What Woolf?" he stared.
-
-"Fred Woolf," she said with a touch of pride. "He owns the _Jockey's
-Weekly_ and Primus cars. You must have heard of Biretta, his racehorse."
-
-"Oh!"
-
-Chalfont was incapable of more than the exclamation. He knew all about
-Woolf. Sudden pity for Maggy took hold of him. He could not run the
-man down; he could not tell her that Woolf's name stank in the nostrils
-of decent-minded men; that even the men who fraternized with him took
-care to keep their womenfolk out of his reach. He could not tell her of
-Woolf's shady reputation on the turf, at the card table, and in the
-city. He saw that it would be useless to do so, and also cruel.
-
-"You've met him, haven't you?" she asked.
-
-"I've seen him at race-meetings and--and once at a club to which I
-belong."
-
-She nodded. "Fred goes everywhere."
-
-Chalfont did not pursue the subject.
-
-"I must go now," said Maggy. "Good-by.... Oh, I forgot to thank you for
-the roses." She colored, remembering the fate they had suffered.
-
-"I'm glad you liked them. They were Mrs. Lambert's favorites."
-
-"Oh, were they? If I'd known that I would have got some instead of the
-wreath I sent."
-
-"It was a beautiful wreath--so simple. She wouldn't have wished it
-altered if she could have seen it. It didn't remind one of a funeral."
-
-"I didn't want it to. I felt I couldn't just go and give an order to a
-florist who grows flowers on purpose for graves. I was up ever so early
-this morning and motored into the country. The dew was all over the
-hedges. That's where I got the leaves from. And in the cottage gardens
-wherever I saw the sort of flowers I'd have liked some one to give me,
-whether I was dead or alive, I stopped and asked the woman to pick me a
-few for a wreath for a sweet lady. They were so pleased to give them.
-Not one would take payment. They were _given_ flowers, given for love,
-fresh and--"
-
-She broke off, shy at having exhibited her feelings. It saddened
-Chalfont to think of her in association with such a man as Woolf. In
-spite of it she was still something of a child, with a child's pretty
-thoughts. But the next moment her womanliness showed itself.
-
-"Are you going away?" she asked. "I would, if I were a man and had lost
-all I loved I should go away to places where I could kill something.
-Wild places, where there's solitude and danger, so that it would be
-quite sporting to keep alive.... You'd come back feeling different ...
-and perhaps marry some nice girl who would love you and make up for all
-that's happened.... I think Mrs. Lambert would wish that."
-
-She spoke as if Mrs. Lambert were not so far away.
-
-"What makes you say that?" he wondered.
-
-"Because--because she told me things." Maggy hesitated. "May I draw up
-the blinds before I go?"
-
-They pulled up the blinds together and let the autumn sunshine into the
-room. Maggy threw up one of the windows. They stood side by side
-looking at the movement in the street. Around a barrel organ a little
-way off children were dancing. A man and a girl, looking into each
-other's eyes, passed under the window. On the opposite side a woman was
-wheeling a perambulator, running every now and then so that the baby in
-it screamed with delight. The roar of London's traffic came from a
-distance. Maggy's eyes grew soft.
-
-"Life goes on," she said.
-
-
-
-
- XXVI
-
-
-The landlady of 109 Sidey Street opened the door to Maggy.
-
-"Goodness me!" were her first words. "Whatever have you been doing to
-yourself, Miss Delamere? You _are_ thin!"
-
-"I've had appendicitis," said Maggy.
-
-Mrs. Bell's face immediately indicated the thirsty interest which people
-of her class take in any form of illness. She closed the door
-carefully. A hushed note came into her voice.
-
-"Appendicitis! What did they find?"
-
-"Latchkey and a bath mat," said Maggy solemnly.
-
-Mrs. Bell looked offended, also disappointed.
-
-"What a one you always were for jokes," she complained. "I believe
-you'd joke in your coffin. Talking of coffins--"
-
-"I hope you've not been talking of such things to Miss Hersey," Maggy
-interrupted.
-
-"Not talk about them? And she just come back from a funeral! What else
-would _any one_ talk about? Not that _she_ said much, mind you. I only
-know there was a carriage-full of wreaths besides what was in the
-hearse. I'll have to wait for the rest of it in the Sunday paper. Miss
-Hersey wouldn't say what the corpse looked like."
-
-Mrs. Bell was wound up. Maggy knew that the only way to avoid a
-repetition of the ghoulish verbosity from which Alexandra must already
-have suffered was to get away.
-
-"Where is Miss Hersey?" she asked, beginning to mount the stairs. "Same
-room?"
-
-"No; a shunter from King's Cross has that now. Such a nice-spoken young
-feller. Miss Hersey's in the room with the cistern. I'll bring you up
-a nice cup of tea directly, dear. I won't put it down in her bill," she
-whispered in a burst of generosity.
-
-Upstairs in the room with the cistern the two girls ran into one
-another's arms. But Maggy was not to escape a repetition of the
-scrutiny that Mrs. Bell had given her downstairs. After their embrace
-Alexandra drew back and looked at her with concern.
-
-"Maggy!" she exclaimed. "Have you been ill? There's nothing of you."
-
-"Rubbish!" said Maggy. "It's all over, anyway. I'm what they call
-_svelte_ in the society papers. I was all face and fatness before.
-Fred says I'm a lady-like size now. It's the 'Willow' corset. I'm in
-the _Ladies' Field_ this week. Such a sketch! Just a chemise and--
-But don't let's talk about me. Lexie, I wanted to ask you something.
-Mrs. Lambert wrote to me two or three times, and I wrote to her. Do you
-know if she tore the letters up?"
-
-"I found them. Lord Chalfont asked me to look through a lot of her
-papers, and your letters were there. They were marked in pencil
-'Destroy.' I expect she meant to have done it, so I tore them up
-myself. There were three letters and a postcard. I couldn't help
-seeing what was on the postcard--'All over, Maggy.' What did you mean?"
-
-Under her paint and powder Maggy flushed a little.
-
-"Oh, that was--about my illness. Thank you for destroying the letters,
-Lexie. There was nothing in them I couldn't have told you, but they
-were about things you'd rather not know."
-
-"Then you have been ill?"
-
-"Rest cure, my dear. Forget it."
-
-"I'm not hurt because you wrote to her about it instead of me."
-
-"You needn't be. Was it nice being with her?"
-
-Alexandra told her all about the tour. While she talked Maggy began to
-notice a subtle change in her. Her views seemed to have grown broader.
-She appeared to be more tolerant of human failings. Her old, hard
-attitude toward them had disappeared. She showed this by the manner in
-which she spoke of Mrs. Lambert and Chalfont. It was entirely
-sympathetic.
-
-"Lexie, you're different," declared Maggy in surprise when she had done.
-"You've come alive!"
-
-"I don't feel quite the same," Alexandra admitted. "I believe
-I'm--changing. I've been trying to think things out, Maggy." There was
-puzzledom in her voice.
-
-"What sort of things?"
-
-"Principally morals and--lack of morals.... Not long ago I had
-everything neatly labeled and pigeon-holed in my mind. Things were
-either good or bad. People the same. Now all the labels seem to have
-come off.... Really, I'm not half so good as poor Mrs. Lambert was, and
-yet she did what I always considered so wrong. She lived with Lord
-Chalfont. The strange thing is it didn't make either of them bad. They
-were just like two married people who had the deepest respect for each
-other."
-
-Maggy gave a nod of comprehension. "And that puzzles you?" she asked.
-
-"Yes, in a way."
-
-"I think I know why. You're asking yourself whether that sort of thing
-is really bad, after all, since it didn't drag them down. You've got
-the labels wrong, mixing up morals with people and putting them all
-together in the honey-pot. The stage, I mean. It's a contaminating
-place, right enough. The wonder is how anybody gets out of it clean.
-Some people can drink filthy water and keep healthy, and others get
-typhoid from it. It doesn't alter the water. What makes me sorry is
-that nice people like Mrs. Lambert and Lord Chalfont and you should have
-to drink it at all. The worst of it is you can't tell whether it's done
-you any harm until it's worked right into your system, and then you're
-generally past help. That rather proves that immorality is a sort of
-disease, probably a microbe, which thrives especially on the stage.
-What a pity they can't vaccinate us against it when we're babies. It
-would have done _me_ good. _I'm_ an example of the corruption of the
-stage, if you're looking for one."
-
-"You're nothing of the kind, Maggy!"
-
-"Yes, I am. If I hadn't been on the stage Fred wouldn't have thought I
-was easy fruit, and I shouldn't have known what he wanted from the
-start. I went over the line because I knew living with him was all he
-expected, or I could expect. I don't say I wouldn't rather be married
-and respectable, but as I couldn't have Fred that way, I've got to put
-up without it. Marriage and the stage are like oil and vinegar. They
-don't mix. Look at Mrs. Lambert and her husband. Look at the girls who
-marry noblemen. Don't they keep the divorce court busy? And you can't
-do any good on the stage without a man at the back of you. Make up your
-mind to that. You've got to bury your conscience like a dog does a
-bone. At first you keep on going back to it to see if it's there, and
-one day you forget all about it, or you find it's gone. That's the big
-difference between you and the dog.... So you've come back to this
-hole, Lexie. Do you think I don't know what you feel about it? You're
-like Cinderella, only you've been to the funeral of your fairy
-god-mother. I suppose you'll hold out while your money lasts, and then
-begin the old fight all over again. But there won't be so much fight
-left in you. You don't _feel_ like fighting. You don't feel the same.
-You said so, just now.... Lexie dear, don't think of your old pal Maggy
-as a she-devil taking you up on top of a mountain and tempting you. But
-I do want you to make the most of your chances. I honestly believe if
-you take things as they come you won't be sorry. You're sure to meet
-some nice man sometime. If he's able to--to keep you, do give in. If
-you love him you'll want to. And what's the use of giving love the cold
-shoulder simply because he doesn't always go about with a marriage
-license in his pocket? If it's wrong to talk like that all I can say is
-I'd rather love without marriage than not love at all, even though I
-knew I was going to be burnt to a cinder for it."
-
-"Perhaps I'm asbestos--"
-
-"All the better if you are: you'll stand it better. Anyhow, asbestos
-gets hot.... Lexie, I haven't a regret in the world. I was a bit down
-on my luck before I was ill, but now I'm well again, I'm glad that I'm
-Maggy who loves her Fred."
-
-Alexandra sat staring in front of her, turning Maggy's advice over in
-her mind. She knew she meant every word she said. She recalled Mrs.
-Lambert's views about the stage. She had less faith in her powers of
-endurance now. Privation and disappointment had done their work. In
-easy circumstances any one may withstand temptation: surrender comes
-with adversity. At the present moment Alexandra was not actually in
-touch with adversity. She felt capable of holding out against
-temptation.
-
-"I shan't give in," she said with a little of her old tenacity. "I'm
-going to try and write."
-
-"What?" asked Maggy blankly.
-
-"My experiences."
-
-"But you haven't had any."
-
-"You and Mrs. Lambert and all that you both have told me are
-experiences."
-
-This was a new aspect of Alexandra. It mystified Maggy.
-
-"But can you write?" she asked doubtfully.
-
-"I--I think so. At least I've made a beginning."
-
-"It seems so funny. Fred says that actresses can't write. All those
-things you see in the magazines and the _Jockey's Weekly_ by actresses
-all about themselves, with photos stuck in between, aren't written by
-them. The printer does it."
-
-"Not the printer, surely?"
-
-"Well, the man from the paper. It's all the same. I've been
-interviewed and I know. All I did was to sign my name at the end. It
-came out in _The Housewife_."
-
-"What I meant was a serious article. Something true."
-
-"But nobody wants to read anything serious about the stage," Maggy
-contended. "It's for pleasure.... Fancy you writing! Do let me see
-what you've done, Lexie."
-
-Alexandra went over to the chest of drawers and came back with her
-article. It was in manuscript. She handed it over shyly.
-
-"Why, it's pages and pages!" exclaimed Maggy, with the bewilderment of
-one to whom the space on a postcard presents difficulties.
-
-She commenced to read aloud from it.
-
-"'The stage as a profession for women has frequently been a subject of
-discussion. Seldom however has it occurred to any one to descant on it
-as a profession for ladies...'
-
-"We're always called _ladies_ of the profession," debated Maggy, and
-read on.
-
-"'... To do this effectively one must first try and arrive at the proper
-definition of the term "lady," and when one has done so enquire into the
-economic and moral effects which the stage may have on her if she should
-embark on...'"
-
-Maggy raised enquiring, rather helpless, eyes.
-
-"Does this mean you're a Suffragette?" she asked.
-
-"No, of course not."
-
-Maggy skipped a paragraph.
-
-"'A lady, we will say, is one who, apart from the question of birth, has
-been brought up to respect the usual conventions of social life. Let us
-now consider how far those conventions are respected on the stage.'"
-
-As she turned the pages, singling out portions of them at random, she
-found it very hard reading. She thought it like the leaders in the
-daily paper, which she always skipped. In reality, it was not a bad
-little article for a beginner, in spite of its consciously correct
-phraseology and want of cohesion of idea. But as an unglossed
-commentary concerning the ethical side of stage life it provided food
-for thought.
-
-"I suppose it's brainy," said Maggy, handing it back. "It doesn't sound
-a bit like you though. I hope I'm not a wet blanket, but I think you'll
-get sick of the crumply plop it will make coming back through the
-letter-box. It's not what you ever see in the papers. You may ask
-things about inferior flannelette or horrid sausages or white slaves,
-and it's all right. But the truth about the stage! Well, there, it's
-written now, so you may as well post it; but if I were you, I'd go and
-see the editor in the morning before he's had time to read it."
-
-"Why?" enquired Alexandra innocently.
-
-"Well ... if he's young--and impressionable--it might-- No, on second
-thoughts, don't."
-
-Tea came in. By the side of the teapot Mrs. Bell had ostentatiously
-placed a small medicine bottle. She had also provided what purported to
-be a cake.
-
-"I sent out for 'three' of gin," she said, beaming placidly at the
-bottle.
-
-"Whatever for?" demanded Alexandra.
-
-"For a dash in your tea, dear. Seeing as how you've just come from a
-funeral--"
-
-Alexandra's face showed a repugnance. Mrs. Bell looked grieved. Maggy
-intervened.
-
-"Miss Hersey only drinks champagne now," she said cheerily. "Doctor's
-orders. And I've sworn off. You trot off with it downstairs. Gin's
-good for landladies."
-
-
-
-
- XXVII
-
-
-Alexandra's bad luck held.
-
-The only engagements she was offered she could not accept. One was in
-provincial pantomime and therefore not immediate, another a "walk-on" at
-a London theater, for which a premium of L10 was asked. Suggestions
-were made to her by doubtful-looking touring managers which besides
-being only tentative were also unwholesome. One agent made it
-impossible for her to go and see him again.
-
-The soul-sickening chase after employment continued for several weeks.
-By husbanding the money she had saved while on tour with Mrs. Lambert
-she was able to keep out of debt; but time was against her. Soon she
-would be unable to do without a fire in her room. Coals at six-pence a
-scuttle sounded to her like extravagance and were therefore prohibitive.
-She did not think it likely she would be able to find a cheaper lodging,
-or at any rate one where the landlady was as honest as Mrs. Bell. In
-Sidey Street she could at least make sure that if half a herring was
-left over at breakfast the other half would be available at supper time.
-
-Mrs. Bell was also "particular" about sheets and cleanliness generally.
-She took an open pride in having a lodger who indulged in a daily bath.
-The blush of modesty often came to Alexandra's face as she heard the
-fact being exultantly advertised on the stairs to some new or would-be
-tenant. Her landlady used it as a testimonial. Once a week, too, the
-little room with the cistern was "done out," which meant that Mrs. Bell
-used a duster for a motor-veil and threw the furniture out on the
-landing. For these reasons 109 Sidey Street was tolerable. The lodgers
-there were respectable. True, the shunter from King's Cross Station had
-the room overhead, but as he did not import his boisterous occupation
-into domestic life Alexandra found him unobjectionable.
-
-She saw a good deal of Maggy, but Maggy was only able to offer advice
-and the use of her purse, neither of which Alexandra would accept. It
-hurt her to refuse. The advice she could not reconcile with her
-conscience: the money, being Woolf's, seemed tainted. All this while
-her one attempt at literature had kept returning to her with hopeless
-monotony. A month had elapsed since she had last seen it. She had all
-but forgotten it when a letter unexpectedly reached her, nebulously
-signed "The Editor," requesting her to call at the offices of his paper.
-
-She went there full of a natural excitement at the prospect of hearing
-that her article was to be printed. To her chagrin the Editor,
-otherwise quite a pleasant person, disillusioned her on this point.
-
-"It's quite all right," he told her; "but I can't use it."
-
-"Then why did you send for me?" asked poor Alexandra helplessly.
-
-"For one reason, because I saw you knew your subject, and it struck me
-you might put your knowledge to a more commercial use. My dear young
-lady, there isn't a paper in England that would print this as it
-stands."
-
-Alexandra had nothing to say.
-
-"It's quite simple," he went on. "Papers live by advertisement. The
-stage is one of their sources of revenue. Besides, it doesn't pay to
-vilify the stage. It's too popular. We have to butter it up. Look at
-this," he flicked over the pages of his popular weekly. "Full of photos
-of stage beauties, with a eulogistic paragraph to each. Many of them
-paid for. Well, we can't publish a picture of, say, Miss Tottie Fluff
-on one page and an indictment of her morals on the next. Now can we?"
-
-"I--I suppose not," said Alexandra, vastly impressed by this amiable
-frankness.
-
-"If you'll be guided by me you'll leave the question of stage morality
-alone. The press, the public and the profession all unite in a
-conspiracy of silence about it. You're on the stage, I suppose?"
-
-"Generally off," said Alexandra.
-
-"Doing anything now?"
-
-"No, I wish I were."
-
-"Well, look here: why not write something in a chatty way about
-theatrical matters? Take the exact opposite view to what you have here.
-Treat the stage sympathetically. Point out its elevating influence on
-the masses. Sugar it all up. And, I say, not twelve pages: a thousand
-words or so. I'll give you thirty shillings for it."
-
-Alexandra went back to Sidey Street and sat down to try and write
-fulsome untruths about the stage. She thought and thought. The ink
-dried on her pen. Presently an idea came. She commenced to write
-swiftly. When she had covered two pages she stopped and read them over,
-realizing what she was doing. For the paltry sum of thirty shillings
-she, who recoiled from sacrificing her body, was prostituting her pen.
-
-She put it down and deliberately tore the sheets into fragments, so
-small that she would not be tempted to piece them together again.
-
-Not for thirty pieces of silver!
-
-
-
-
- XXVIII
-
-
-The cistern, that prominent feature of Alexandra's bedroom, was for once
-in a way overshadowed. So to speak, it was put out of countenance. If
-a cistern--squat, square, and forbidding as this one was--could have
-expressed itself it would have done so in the form of a gasp.
-
-For, on the bed lay the sable coat, muff and toque and half-a-dozen
-unworn French frocks. Such richness could never have been seen in Sidey
-Street before. Alexandra's emotions as she stood and stared at them
-were indescribable.
-
-They had come--several huge cardboard boxes--that afternoon--with a
-letter from a firm of solicitors stating that the furs and the dresses
-were a legacy from Mrs. Lambert. The reason why they had not been
-delivered before was that the executors of the will were ignorant of
-Miss Hersey's whereabouts. Lord Chalfont had, however, now returned to
-London and had given them her address.
-
-And there they lay, beautiful and costly, in startling contrast with the
-cistern and the other unlovely appurtenances of the room. Alexandra
-supposed the furs must be worth quite a hundred pounds. The irony of
-the situation was not lost upon her. Here she was in a fireless room,
-dreadfully hungry, and there on the bed lay valuables which nothing
-would induce her to sell because they were a gift from the dear dead.
-
-A day or two ago she had found herself regretting the destruction of
-that sugary eulogy of the stage. She had reconstructed it, but so
-unsuccessfully that in the end she decided against posting it. The
-editor in all probability would have forgotten her existence.
-
-It was now late November and a particularly cheerless specimen of the
-month. She was glad to leave her fireless room each morning for the
-warmth of the agents' offices, always hoping against hope that something
-would turn up. Pride made her hide her straitened circumstances from
-Maggy. She still refused to borrow from her friend. Maggy's counsel
-was always the same: "Climb down, Lexie. Go back to De Freyne. He'll
-very likely take you on again."
-
-She put out a cold hand and touched the furs. They were so rich, so
-soft; they signified the very quintessence of warmth. All she had had
-for her lunch that day was cold rice pudding--rice pudding made with
-three parts of water to one of milk. She felt as if she would never
-thaw again. It was sheer desire for warmth that made her suddenly
-discard her thin black serge for one of the new acquisitions, a dark
-brown velvet dress.
-
-Over it she slipped the fur coat. The warmth of it was better than a
-fire. It permeated her, sent a glow all through her chilled body. She
-looked at herself as well as she was able in the small mirror on her
-dressing-table and--thought of De Freyne. De Freyne only wanted
-well-dressed girls. She was well-dressed now. She had enough frocks to
-keep her looking expensively dressed for many months. She could not go
-another week without an engagement. Her money would not hold out longer
-than that. Even supposing that De Freyne, following his usual custom,
-should want to put her in the way of what he termed "a chance," she need
-not necessarily avail herself of it. It was sophistry and she knew it.
-Allowing herself no more time for thought she put on the toque, picked
-up the muff and went out.
-
-A motorbus took her to the theater. There she asked to see De Freyne,
-fearful lest he should have forgotten her name. But De Freyne had not
-forgotten it nor her. He saw her at once. He remembered the
-circumstances under which he had dismissed her, her inability to dress
-up to his standard and her resolve to keep straight. That had been too
-novel to slip his memory.
-
-His jaded, practised eyes took in her changed appearance, and priced her
-furs more accurately than she had done. He knew they must have cost a
-good many hundreds, and wondered who had paid for them. But he made no
-comment and asked no questions. He would hear all about it in good
-time.
-
-"Come for a fresh contract?" was all he said. "That's right."
-
-
-Alexandra had not got back to Sidey Street when Maggy knocked at her
-door. She looked very fetching and contented in a gray squirrel coat, a
-present from Woolf. She often contrasted her lot with Alexandra's and
-felt uncomfortable when she thought of all she had and all that her poor
-proud Lexie went without.
-
-When she heard that the latter was out she decided to await her in her
-room. Mrs. Bell accompanied her up to it. The first thing Maggy
-noticed was the absence of a fire. The tidy grate showed that it had
-not been lit that day. She shivered.
-
-"What time do you expect her in?" she asked.
-
-"She's sure to be back by half-past four," said Mrs. Bell.
-
-"Well, hadn't you better light the fire?"
-
-Mrs. Bell pursed her lips.
-
-"She don't like her room hot," she mumbled.
-
-"Nonsense; it's freezing!"
-
-A look, such as a person who is about to reveal a State secret wears,
-came into the landlady's face. She dropped her voice to a tone proper to
-confidences.
-
-"To tell you the truth, Miss Delamere, I'm sadly afraid the poor dear
-hasn't the money to pay for a fire. I've lit a bit of a one sometimes
-on my own, but coals is coals, and I've my living to make."
-
-"My goodness! You ought to have told me," said Maggy accusingly. "You
-know I would have paid for it."
-
-"That's what I told her; but she wouldn't have it. I don't like to
-think what'll be the end of her going on like this. She's so different
-to any one I ever come across. I've let rooms to ladies of the
-profession for fifteen years. There was Freddie Aragon. She left me to
-go off with a trick bicyclist, and after that she took up with a
-baronet. I forget the name. Then there was Cleo Kaydor who got married
-to a jockey in church. She used to come and see me--"
-
-"I can smell something burning!" Maggy broke in, and the tide of Mrs.
-Bell's reminiscences was immediately stemmed. She clattered downstairs
-to enquire into the false alarm.
-
-Maggy lit the fire and settled herself before it with a book which she
-found lying about. It was one which failed to sustain her interest.
-Gradually she dozed and ultimately dropped off asleep. By the time
-Alexandra returned the fire had burnt red, warming the room to a
-pleasant and unaccustomed temperature. As she came in Maggy woke up
-with a start, unable to believe the sight that met her eyes. They went
-from the sable coat and muff to the toque and back again. Astonishment
-and the lovely effect they produced on their wearer took her breath
-away.
-
-"Lexie!" she cried. "Where _did_ you get them? You look a princess!
-Is it--you don't mean-- Are--are you ruined?" she quaintly stammered.
-
-Alexandra explained how she had come by the furs. If Maggy had not been
-so intent on Mrs. Lambert's legacy she would have noticed an odd look in
-their wearer's face.
-
-"Oh, my dear, they're perfect!" she exclaimed. "Real sable!" She
-clutched at the arm nearest her. "Lexie, go and see De Freyne in them.
-He'll think you've married Rockefeller--or ought to!"
-
-"I've just come from him," said Alexandra in a weak voice. "He's taken
-me on again."
-
-
-
-
- XXIX
-
-
-De Freyne was puzzled about Alexandra. Her furs and her frocks baffled
-him. When it transpired that she was still living in Sidey Street she
-became more than ever an enigma to him. He could not reconcile that
-neighborhood with her new and expensive appearance. Business instincts
-apart from curiosity made him keep an eye on her. Some acquaintance
-with the private affairs of his fair and usually frail merchandise was
-sometimes of value to him. Like a good tradesman it was his habit to
-take stock of it.
-
-One thing he could not reconcile with Alexandra's apparent opulence: he
-never saw her lunching or supping at the Savoy or similar places. Nor
-did she appear to have a motor-car, that invariable sign of private
-advancement. Not knowing what to make of it he was reduced to detaining
-Maggy on pretext of business one matinee afternoon and sounding her
-about her friend.
-
-"By the way," he observed casually, after mildly cautioning her against
-a want of punctuality of which she had been guilty on the previous
-night. "By the way, Miss Hersey seems to have come to her senses at
-last. But why does her friend keep in the background?"
-
-Maggy saw that De Freyne took it for granted that Alexandra had a man
-behind her. She also knew that it would not be to her advantage to
-correct the assumption. She even deemed it wise to stimulate his
-imagination. It was easy to do that with a mysterious smile and a
-knowing shake of the head.
-
-"It's a bit of a State secret," she said with just the right amount of
-hesitation. "I oughtn't to say anything about it. I--I've never seen
-his Roy--him, I mean."
-
-De Freyne pricked up his ears.
-
-"But you know who he is? Some foreigner, I suppose?"
-
-"Oh, there wouldn't be any need for secrecy about a foreigner,"
-protested Maggy with wicked plausibility.
-
-He put a few more questions but she refused to be drawn.
-
-De Freyne was anything but gullible, but Maggy's artfulness quite took
-him in. Her hesitation alone was convincing proof that she knew more
-than she would tell. She gleefully retailed the conversation to Woolf
-later in the day.
-
-"Mischievous little devil!" he grinned, amused by her audacity. "What
-does your precious Lexie say?"
-
-"She doesn't say anything because I shan't tell her. She'd probably go
-straight to De Freyne and blab out the truth, which wouldn't do her any
-good. He'll think more of her now. At any rate he won't bother her
-with men."
-
-Woolf grunted. He could never understand why Maggy was always
-suggesting that though a thing might be adequate to herself it was not
-of necessity good enough for her friend.
-
-Maggy was not far wrong about De Freyne's subsequent attitude toward
-Alexandra. Nothing was said, but all the same she began to receive more
-consideration. De Freyne kept an open eye on the stalls and boxes for
-any distinguished personage who might be there on her account. On two
-nights in succession one such happened to be among the audience. This
-lent color to Maggy's powers of invention. Alexandra was at once
-promoted to the front row. When, a week later, a young American Croesus
-made advances to De Freyne for an introduction to the "tall, dark girl
-on the extreme right," he was put off with airy nonchalance.
-
-"Not the least use, my dear sir," said De Freyne. "Between you and me,
-a certain royal personage is in the way there. But have a look at the
-filly next to her, to-night. She's only sixteen."
-
-De Freyne would not have felt flattered had he been told that his
-methods differed little from those of the astute tradesman who, not
-having a particular article in stock, never hesitates to try and palm
-off the nearest equivalent on his customer. Meanwhile he was debating
-whether it would not be wise to interpolate a small part for Alexandra.
-The upshot was that he sent for her and heard her sing. The quality of
-her voice surprised him.
-
-"Damn it, you know how!" he observed. "Why didn't you tell us you could
-sing?"
-
-"I sang at the voice trial," she said.
-
-"Oh, then! You weren't sensible in those days. I must see what I can
-do for you." He turned to his stage-manager, who was present. "'Phone
-Goss and Lander to come round. I want to talk over a new song to be put
-in for Miss Hersey."
-
-The sudden stroke of luck quite confounded Alexandra. Just as Maggy was
-unaware of the far-reaching effects of her hints, so was she unable to
-account for her preferment. She hardly dared to believe it would
-materialize. But a couple of days later her new song and the script of
-a few lines of dialogue to introduce it were handed to her. She was to
-have a week in which to rehearse them.
-
-De Freyne watched some of these rehearsals, giving much mental
-consideration to the style of costume best suited to the singer. In the
-end he thought out a design in sprigged muslin, looped with turquoise
-ribbon. It would have a refined and childish effect. Refinement,
-homeopathically prescribed, would by its contrast look well on the stage
-of the Pall Mall.
-
-What De Freyne was not prepared for was an expression of gratitude from
-Alexandra. After her first rehearsal she sought him in his office. He
-assumed that, after the manner of her kind, she had come to ask for an
-increase of salary.
-
-"Well, aren't you satisfied?" he enquired, hoping to put her off.
-
-"I've come to thank you," was her shy answer. "It's so kind of you, Mr.
-De Freyne. I'm very grateful."
-
-He was so unaccustomed to being thanked by the members of his chorus,
-and so seldom deserved any, that for a moment he was taken aback.
-
-"That's all right," he rejoined. "All I want is that you don't show any
-nervousness. Audiences only allow for nervousness on the first night of
-a piece. After that it fidgets them. I'm going to Lucille's for your
-dress. It's to be _a la jeune fille_. No shocks to your modesty. As
-for the rest, well, I daresay you'll introduce me to H.R.H. one of these
-days, eh?"
-
-It was more a statement than a question, and De Freyne did not wait for
-an answer. When they met after the performance that night Alexandra,
-rather bewildered, told Maggy of her good fortune and De Freyne's
-curious remark. Maggy's delight was such that she jumped.
-
-"Oh, my dear!" she cried. "I'll tell you now. First it was your furs
-and then it was me. We've done the trick between us. But come away from
-the theater or some one will hear me and then all the fat will be in the
-fire!"
-
-She dragged Alexandra away from the stage-door and described her
-interview with De Freyne. Alexandra listened petrified.
-
-"Maggy, how could you?" she protested piteously. "I--I can't let him go
-on thinking such a mad thing! I shall have to tell him it isn't true."
-
-"You mustn't, mustn't, mustn't!" commanded Maggy vehemently. "Don't you
-see it's good for you? If you do he'll take away your song and put that
-Vandaleur man on your track. He's after little Graves now, but he let
-out to her that he tried to get to know you, only De Freyne told him he
-hadn't an earthly. Graves told me that herself. And you don't want to
-get me the sack, do you? After all, Lexie dear," she wheedled, "I made
-it a royalty, didn't I? I didn't think any one else good enough."
-
-"I know you meant it for the best. But--but it's such a horrid idea and
-so--so far-fetched. De Freyne is sure to find out sooner or later."
-
-"So long as it's later it's all right. You make the most of it while
-he's dreaming of meeting your prince and smoking a cigar with him in
-public, and p'raps getting the order of the Boot in diamonds to wear on
-his chest. It'll do him good to be disappointed."
-
-Alexandra would not have been human had she refused to listen to such
-reasoning. She might have argued that De Freyne had recognized her
-talent. But she very well knew that was not the case. It was quite
-evident to her that had she been without talent or voice he would have
-commissioned Goss and Lander to write her a song on two notes all the
-same.
-
-"I'll chance it, Maggy," she announced finally.
-
-"That's right," said Maggy, greatly relieved, and then became
-abstracted. "You ought to have some diamonds to wear on the night," she
-added presently. "I wish I knew an I.D.B."
-
-
-
-
- XXX
-
-
-Diamonds for Alexandra had been no random idea of Maggy's. The question
-of how to provide them, or at least some jewelry for her to wear on the
-great occasion, continued to exercise her mind. She woke up full of it
-the next morning. If they were to be obtained, though only for one
-night, De Freyne would be wonderfully and awfully impressed. And Maggy
-was right. De Freyne's estimate of a girl was largely influenced by the
-intrinsic value of what she carried upon her person.
-
-Woolf could be of no help in this matter. He very seldom cared to
-discuss Alexandra at all, and considering that he had not shown any
-inclination to supply Maggy herself with any jewelry worth mentioning he
-was hardly likely to do more for her friend.
-
-Then a daring thought came into her head. Alexandra had told her that
-Lord Chalfont was back in London. Couldn't he do something? Ever a
-slave to the enthusiasm of the moment, she looked up Chalfont's address
-in the telephone index and then drove there. Her heart went into her
-mouth as she thought of what Woolf would say if he knew where she was
-bound for. But that did not stop her. She was one of Nature's
-gamblers, and the element of danger in the undertaking gave her a
-certain relish for it.
-
-Chalfont was just going to sit down to his breakfast--it was only
-half-past nine--when she was announced. The earliness of her visit
-surprised him, but he was none the less pleased to see her. Many times
-during his absence he had recalled her pretty face, her extraordinary
-gift of honest frankness, and above all the sympathetic womanliness she
-had shown at their last meeting.
-
-"I expect you think I'm mad coming to see you so early in the morning,"
-she began.
-
-"I'm glad to see you at any time," he said. "Have you had breakfast?"
-
-"I snatched it. I wanted to catch you in, and I didn't want my Fred to
-know. He wouldn't like me to be here. Of course, I shan't tell him,
-because I've come in a good cause. Can you lend me some diamonds?"
-
-He was a little staggered by the request. He would have been prepared
-to swear that Maggy was not of the grasping sort, and yet here she was,
-admittedly against the regulations, blandly asking him for diamonds at
-half-past nine in the morning. He laughed.
-
-"Look here, I haven't had breakfast yet. It's ready. Suppose you have
-it with me and tell me why you want them."
-
-"May I? I should love it."
-
-He rang the bell, and his man quickly laid another place at the table.
-
-"Sole, omelette, kidneys?" inquired Chalfont. "You need not wait,
-Mitchell."
-
-"Omelette, please," said Maggy, taking the seat he offered her before
-the tea and coffee equipage. "Coffee for you? And sugar?"
-
-"Thanks."
-
-He came back from the sideboard where he had gone to the
-electrically-heated stand, smiled as he served her, and took the cup she
-handed him.
-
-"Do you know," he said, taking his seat, "I seem to have the feeling
-that we've breakfasted before."
-
-"So have I," she rejoined. "I like it."
-
-"Your hat spoils the illusion, though."
-
-"How?"
-
-"Of a woman in the house."
-
-She unpinned it and tossed it on to a chair. The reluctance that had
-made her retain it that day so many months ago when she had lunched for
-the first time with Woolf was quite absent now.
-
-"Well, what about the diamonds?" asked Chalfont.
-
-"They're not for me. I want them for Lexie. But it must be a secret.
-She'd shake me if she knew. She's back again at the Pall Mall now."
-
-"I wanted to ask you about her. What is she doing there?"
-
-"I'll tell you all from the beginning," said Maggy. "This omelette's
-splendid. It was through her legacy. The furs and the dresses poor
-Mrs. Lambert left her."
-
-Chalfont nodded.
-
-"Well, Lexie had a hard time for weeks. She couldn't get an engagement
-anywhere. So when the furs came she togged herself out in them and went
-and saw De Freyne. He took her on again because he thought she'd got
-rich quick, and that there was a man in it. He was awfully puzzled.
-Instead of asking her he tried to pump me, and I found myself telling
-stories." Her face screwed up funnily. "Oh, I let him think! He
-fancies it's a royalty--a prince--who's running Lexie, and he's given
-her a part and a song on the strength of it. It goes in three days from
-now. It's an awfully big thing for her. I've persuaded her not to
-split--not to let on that her prince is all a fairy story. As I put it
-to her: she can't come to much harm with an _imaginary_ man. Now, on the
-night she'll look so bare."
-
-"Bare?" echoed Chalfont.
-
-"Bare of jewelry, I mean."
-
-"Oh, I see!"
-
-"Her dress is white and pink and turquoise, a duck of a thing. But she
-won't have a single ornament to wear; so if De Freyne is to go on
-believing what I told him about the prince she ought to have some.
-Diamonds for choice. It doesn't matter about afterwards. He'll have
-seen them once and think she's put them away for safety. Now that's
-where you can help. If you'll lend them I'll make her wear them. You
-_have_ got some diamonds, haven't you?" she asked anxiously.
-
-"Yes, in the bank. Of course I'll lend you some," said Chalfont
-readily. "I'll telephone through if you like and tell the bank to send
-them along. How will that do?"
-
-"Splendid! That is good of you."
-
-"Not at all. I'm very glad to be able to help Miss Hersey. Besides, I
-wouldn't for worlds spoil the practical joke you've played on De
-Freyne." He laughed. "It's one of the best things I ever heard of."
-
-"And you won't let on to Lexie?"
-
-"Not a word. It shall be our secret."
-
-"I _knew_ I could count on you," said Maggy confidently.
-
-Chalfont looked at his watch. It was ten now, and the bank would be
-open, so he went to the telephone and gave the necessary instructions.
-
-"Where have you been all this while?" Maggy asked him when he came back
-to his seat. "I wondered whether you would take my advice and plump for
-some wild place."
-
-"As it happens it's just as well I didn't. You wouldn't be pouring out
-coffee for me if I had gone to the Rockies or Central Africa," he
-smiled. "I went for a commonplace cruise to Madeira and back instead."
-
-"I'm glad you didn't, now.... Do you feel better--about things?"
-
-He knew she was thinking of Mrs. Lambert, and liked her all the better
-for her indefiniteness. It showed delicacy.
-
-"I think so," he answered. "I have often recalled something you said
-when we stood at the window of the little house in Albert Place: 'Life
-goes on,' were the words. I'm going on with mine. I'm trying to make
-the best of it."
-
-"I like to hear that. Love isn't meant to mope over. It's the sort of
-thing to remember with praise and thanksgiving when it's gone. When the
-loved one's gone, I mean. When you come to think of it love's a curious
-thing. It's like a very sharp two-edged sword. You handle it so
-carelessly that it gives you scratches and cuts and wounds that are so
-deep that even when they heal they throb for years afterwards. I wonder
-how I should feel--if my love stopped. I think my life would stop too.
-I shouldn't be brave enough to go on with things.... That doesn't fit
-in very well with what I said just now about not moping, does it?"
-
-Chalfont answered her with a question of his own.
-
-"What is love like to you?"
-
-"To me? A burning, fiery furnace. All great waves beating on me and
-smashing me about."
-
-"Isn't that passion?"
-
-"I don't know. If it is it's like that stuff everybody's talking
-about--radium. It gives off heat and loses none." She remained lost in
-thought for a while. "Perhaps I should feel different if I
-were--married.... I dream of it sometimes."
-
-She was dreaming then. Chalfont saw it in her eyes. Her artlessness
-seemed a wonderful thing to him.
-
-"The odd thing is," she went on, "when I'm imagining that I forget all
-about the man. It's like having a sort of marriage service all to
-yourself."
-
-"Tell me."
-
-"Oh, it's silly.... I think of it to make me go to sleep instead of
-counting silly sheep. It makes me float off as if I were on a lovely
-cloud. First I hear the church bells ringing--quite loud, pealing; and
-my heart goes thumpetty-thump because I'm going to be married, which I
-shall never be in my life. It seems so important and grand. And then I
-dress. That doesn't interest me very much; but I like the look of my
-face through the white veil. It's misty, like a summer morning....
-Then I'm in church--a great church, perhaps a cathedral, and as I go up
-the aisle it's as if God is playing the organ, and I'm walking on all
-His stars."
-
-There was quite a wonderful look in her beautiful face. She seemed to
-have forgotten Chalfont. He kept quite still waiting for her to go on.
-
-"And then the service begins. I read it once. Parts of it I shall never
-forget. In the church there are stacks of white flowers and lilies.
-It's all so quiet and awful--only the clergyman's voice.... I feel
-choking and I can't see because my eyes are full of tears.... There
-_must_ be sacred love. I feel it all through me.... And when it's over
-I'm crying. Sometimes if I'm not asleep I go on with the honeymoon. I
-see fields and blue sky and a homey-looking house--soft red brick--with
-a green lawn and cedar trees on it. Their branches stretch out to me
-like loving arms. I see flowers everywhere. I think it's a sort of
-farm, because there are cows and wondering-eyed calves with soft
-slobbery noses and curly, wet, rough tongues; and lambs with baby faces
-to make pets of; and clucking chickens and stupid broody hens. I'd be
-so kind to them...." She drew a long breath. The dream was broken.
-"Fred would say I'm dotty," she finished apologetically.
-
-"Do you know," said Chalfont, "your thoughts are like dainty
-butterflies."
-
-"There's a maggot in my brain, I expect," was her dry rejoinder,
-dispelling her romantic mood.
-
-Mitchell came in to say that a messenger had arrived from the bank.
-Chalfont excused himself and left the room. A minute or two later he
-came back and took Maggy into another room. On one of its tables stood
-two mahogany boxes. Unlocking them he lifted the lids and moved aside
-for her to see.
-
-"I think you'll find what you want here," he said.
-
-The top tray of one of the boxes was studded with fine rings; the other
-held necklaces and bracelets--diamonds, rubies, emeralds and pearls.
-Underneath, when he removed the trays, Maggy's eyes opened wide at a
-magnificent tiara and other gemmed ornaments.
-
-"Do they _all_ belong to you?" she gasped.
-
-"Yes, in a sense. They were my mother's. They have belonged to many a
-Lady Chalfont in the past."
-
-"Then if you marry they will belong to your wife?"
-
-"If I marry."
-
-A mischievous look came into Maggy's face.
-
-"I don't suppose the future Lady Chalfont would like to see Miss Maggy
-Delamere taking her pick," she said. She became serious again. "I
-shan't sleep comfortably while I have them."
-
-"I shall," smiled Chalfont. "Will you choose what you want?"
-
-Maggy made a discreet choice, avoiding the tiara and the more splendid
-objects much as she would have liked to see them on Alexandra. Chalfont
-put the jewels into a smaller case for her. When he had done that he
-handed her a little pendant, a dainty thing of small diamonds with a
-ruby center.
-
-"How do you like that?" he asked.
-
-"It's sweet," said Maggy, holding it up for inspection.
-
-"I would like you to keep it."
-
-"I would like to keep it, too. But"--she handed it back--"I can't take
-it."
-
-"My dear child, why not? It's only a little thing."
-
-She shook her head.
-
-"Fred wouldn't like it. He wouldn't like my coming here either. I did
-it because it was for somebody else. Thank you ever so much though. I
-do think you're kind." She gave his hand a hearty grip.
-
-Chalfont saw her to the door.
-
-"Lexie appears on Thursday night. Don't forget. Come and clap," were
-her farewell words.
-
-She hailed a passing taxi. Chalfont helped her in. As it drove off she
-waved to him, smiling. To Chalfont it seemed that her smile lit the
-street.
-
-
-
-
- XXXI
-
-
-The transfer of the borrowed diamonds to Alexandra was a troublesome
-job. For once Maggy was reticent. In effect she said, "Ask no
-questions and you will be told no lies." Hers was the stronger will and
-in the end it prevailed. Alexandra wore them and De Freyne saw them.
-His shrewd eyes did not mistake them for stage jewelry. He saw they
-were real and was rather flabbergasted by their value. Maggy hoped and
-prayed he would not interrogate her again and that he would refrain from
-putting awkward questions to Alexandra. He did neither. He was much
-too satisfied with Alexandra's opulent appearance to ask questions.
-Moreover, he thought he could have provided answers to them himself.
-
-Alexandra had had her baptism of stage-fright on tour. Curiously
-enough, when it came to walking into the limelight of the stage of the
-Pall Mall she was hardly nervous at all. She did not know it, but the
-loss of her old enthusiasm for the stage made her indifferent. Her
-sensations were deadened. De Freyne noticed her calmness and put it
-down to self-confidence, the same confidence that had procured her the
-attentions of her august "friend."
-
-She did not leap into fame that night. She attracted notice. The
-audience thought her pretty and dainty. They found her refinement
-rather in the nature of a _sorbet_ between coarser fare. They were not
-quite sure that they appreciated her air of unconcern but it impressed
-them. So did her diamonds.
-
-De Freyne was very pleased with her and himself as well. A good many of
-his friends, several newspaper critics, and others who had a financial
-interest in the Pall Mall, felicitated him in the foyer on his
-discernment in recognizing talent among the members of his chorus and
-incidentally from among the choruses of lesser managers upon whose folds
-he and his emissaries were always watching and making raids. He went
-round to the wings to congratulate Alexandra.
-
-"I've only one fault to find," he said. "You coughed twice."
-
-"I've had a cold for some time," was her excuse.
-
-"You ought to take something. See a doctor."
-
-"I will, if it doesn't get better."
-
-"That's right."
-
-Alexandra had on the white wrap which all ladies of the company were
-expected to wear over their costumes when not on the stage. He drew it
-slightly aside, exposing her neck.
-
-"Damn fine diamonds, those, my dear. They ought to keep colds away."
-
-He nodded amiably and moved off. Maggy, minus her wrap, rushing toward
-Alexandra, collided with him.
-
-"Where's your dust-cloak?" he demanded.
-
-"Oh, who can think of dust-cloaks when they're excited!" she exclaimed,
-and flung her arms round Alexandra. "You _were_ a go, Lexie!"
-
-"That's the third time this week I've seen you without it," said De
-Freyne testily.
-
-"One and six more for the share-holders. Oh, don't grumble, Mr. De
-Freyne, or else I shall kiss you, too. I don't know what I'm doing!"
-
-She put her arm in Alexandra's and dragged her off to her dressing-room.
-De Freyne's eyes followed the former.
-
-"Deep little devil, that," he observed to his stage-manager, who had
-been looking on. "Clever too."
-
-"They're all devils," rejoined that experienced person, wearily. "But
-it's a change when they're clever. Talking of cleverness, her friend's
-worth watching. She's very raw material, but--"
-
-"You mean young Delamere? Clever?"
-
-"Clever as paint!"
-
-
-
-
- XXXII
-
-
-Maggy had a pleasant surprise in store for Woolf. She meant to spring
-it on him that night after supper; but before the opportunity arose for
-doing so she herself was to suffer anything but a pleasant one from him.
-
-Although he was not in the habit of lavishing valuable presents on her
-she spent a good deal of her pocket money on him. He was not always
-grateful for these little attentions. He regarded her gifts as
-superfluous expressions of affection, especially as he paid for both.
-At one time and another she had given him a gold cigarette-case,
-pocket-books, silver pencils, photograph frames, smoking requisites. On
-one occasion, to his amusement, she had presented him with a crocheted
-pajama bag with his initials carried out in the design. This labor of
-love was the product of her period of convalescence.
-
-But now, perhaps to clear her conscience of her innocent traffic with
-Chalfont, she had launched with extravagance on his account. It took
-the form of the gift of a diamond ring. She had paid for it with all
-her savings, and she hoped it was a good stone, because Woolf had the
-trait which the proverb warns us against: he liked to look a gift-horse
-in the mouth. She was on the point of making her presentation when he
-said:
-
-"By the way, you're going to be a grass-widow for three weeks."
-
-"Oh, Fred!" she exclaimed, her face falling.
-
-"I've got to go abroad."
-
-"Where?"
-
-"South of France."
-
-"When?"
-
-"To-morrow."
-
-That he should leave her at all was utterly unexpected: the
-immediateness of his departure was so overwhelming. She sat for a while
-in startled silence. Suddenly she got up and threw her arms round him.
-
-"Oh, Fred, take me with you," she coaxed. "It's summer there, isn't it?
-I've never been abroad."
-
-Woolf avoided her eyes.
-
-"And I've not been well. It would do me good. I'd _love_ to travel
-with you, Fred. I'd have some new trunks with your initials on them,
-and I'd look so married and good. Really!"
-
-"Not possible, my dear," said Woolf. "De Freyne wouldn't let you off."
-
-"Yes, he would. He did before. You arranged that, so you can again."
-
-"I'll take you abroad some day," he temporized. "I really can't this
-time, Maggy. I shall be traveling from place to place. I've arranged
-dates with a man, and I can't put him off. It's business. Don't plague
-me about it."
-
-She saw it was no use arguing with him.
-
-"I suppose I may write? What are the places?" she inquired
-disconsolately.
-
-"Nice, Mentone, Cannes. Nice to start with at any rate. I'm not quite
-sure of my movements, but I'll let you know. You'd better address me
-Poste Restante."
-
-"Honeymoon places!" There was a note of longing in her voice. "Well, I
-suppose I've had mine." She thought of the ring, forgot her chagrin and
-went on mischievously: "As you're going on your honeymoon I may as well
-give you your wedding present. Here it is."
-
-She put it in his hand and hung back to watch the effect it should have
-on him. He looked pleased, but to her surprise seemed reluctant to
-accept it. She broke in on his muttered excuses.
-
-"Tommy rot! I saw by your face that you liked it. Hold out your
-finger." She kissed the ring and also kissed his finger. "How does it
-go? ... With this ring I thee wed, with this body I thee worship....
-There now. It's on. We're as good as--no, worse than married! Kiss me,
-you dear King. I don't mind your going so very much so long as you'll
-be glad to come back." Her lips quivered. "We've never been parted
-before."
-
-"What's three weeks?" said Woolf lightly.
-
-"I shall be a gray-haired old woman by the time you come back."
-
-"Good Heavens! You're crying!"
-
-"No, I'm not," she denied, hiding her face.
-
-"Silly Maggy." He took her in his arms. "Cry afterwards. I'm not gone
-yet."
-
-
-
-
- XXXIII
-
-
-"I've brought them back."
-
-Maggy had come to restore the borrowed jewels to Chalfont. It was late
-afternoon of the following day. She was dressed in gray with touches of
-black, and her face wore a subdued expression. Woolf had left for the
-Continent by the morning boat train.
-
-"You were a brick to lend them," she proceeded. "Didn't you think Lexie
-was awfully good?"
-
-"Very good indeed," he said.
-
-"She isn't a bit excited. Funny, isn't it? She used to be so keen
-once. Now I don't think she'd mind a bit if she left the stage."
-
-"Would you?"
-
-"I? I can't imagine myself anywhere else. This time twenty years, if
-Maggy Delamere's still alive, she'll be capering about in the chorus
-somewhere, I expect. I hope I shall be dead though," she added
-pessimistically.
-
-"What is the matter with you to-day?" asked Chalfont.
-
-"Blue devils. Mr. Woolf's away. He won't be back for three weeks.
-He's on his honeymoon."
-
-Chalfont stared at her. For a moment he thought she was speaking
-seriously. He could not understand her calm acceptance of such a fact.
-Then Maggy laughed.
-
-"He's gone to honeymoon places, I mean. On business. He couldn't take
-me." She changed the subject quickly. "Have you ever been to see
-Lexie?"
-
-"No," he replied. "I wasn't sure she would like me to."
-
-"Perhaps she wouldn't. It's not much of a place where she lives."
-
-"But I want you to give her a message, if you will."
-
-"Of course. What is it?"
-
-"An invitation. It's for you too, if you will accept it. But perhaps
-you've made arrangements already--for Christmas, I mean."
-
-Maggy shook her head. Her Christmas would have to be spent alone in her
-flat. It did not occur to her that Chalfont was making her an
-alternative proposition.
-
-"In that case I shall be very glad if you and Miss Hersey will spend it
-with me at Purton Towers."
-
-Maggy started. Lexie and she and he all together at Christmas time! At
-Purton Towers!
-
-"Is that your country-house?" she faltered.
-
-"Yes. You'll come? We should be rather quiet because--"
-
-"Because of poor Mrs. Lambert," she interjected with quick
-understanding. "Was--was she there with you last year?"
-
-"No, she would never come."
-
-Maggy was thinking.
-
-"I expect Lexie would love to go," she cogitated. "And so should I.
-But I ought to stop at the flat.... Would it be very wrong if I didn't?
-He--Fred--is very strict about me. I wish I'd asked him...."
-
-Chalfont did not attempt persuasion.
-
-"All right," she said suddenly. "I'll come. It would be a shame to
-prevent Lexie having a good time. She wouldn't come without me. It
-will be simply lovely!"
-
-"I'll motor you both down on Christmas Eve and bring you back in time
-for the theater on Boxing night. I think you'll like the old place."
-
-"Shall I? What makes you think so?"
-
-"For one thing because of the cedars on the lawn."
-
-"Like in my dream? Oh, ripping!"
-
-"And there is the home-farm. You like animals."
-
-Maggy's face lighted up. "Will there be lambs and calves and fat
-squealy little pigs?"
-
-"Hardly at this time of year," answered Chalfont, amused. "You'll have
-to come in the spring again to see them."
-
-"I don't think I could resist it, if you invited us. May I ask you
-something?"
-
-"Anything you like. Fire away."
-
-"It's this," she said with considerable hesitation. "I would love to
-spend a _real_ Christmas Day. Would you mind? One goes to church,
-doesn't one? And I would like people not to know we were actresses. I
-would like--if you could manage it--to have a Christmas tree. Couldn't
-you ask some village children--a lot of them? Children are always in
-season even when lambs and calves aren't. That's one blessing."
-
-"I think that could be managed. Do you like children?" he asked,
-surprised at her earnestness.
-
-"Like them? It's the one part of Heaven that sounds most attractive.
-You know where it says in the Bible: 'Suffer little children ... and of
-such is the Kingdom of Heaven,' and then a lot more toward the end about
-gold and jasper and glassy seas and streets of gold. I expect there
-must be a nursery for the children who died young. I'd like to squeeze
-in with the little angels!"
-
-"You funny child!"
-
-"I'm not a child. It's only my silly way of talking. I'm a woman.
-Why, this"--she held up her little finger--"this knows more about love
-and pain and everything else than--Lexie's whole body. Now I must be
-off. I do talk to you. What makes me? I only meant to stop a minute."
-She was wrought up at the prospect of spending Christmas--a real country
-Christmas--under such delightful conditions as she had outlined and
-Chalfont had tacitly acquiesced in. Too impatient to wait until evening
-to impart the joyful news to Alexandra she made for Sidey Street as fast
-as a taxicab could take her. There, breathlessly she told her news.
-
-"How nice of him!" declared Alexandra. "Did you meet him accidentally,
-or how?"
-
-"How," answered Maggy, and colored violently under Alexandra's clear and
-searching eyes. "I had to go to his house--on business," she floundered,
-giving herself away.
-
-Alexandra could not help laughing.
-
-"Oh, Maggy! Then the diamonds I wore last night were his!"
-
-"Nothing wrong with them, was there?"
-
-"No, but--but you must be very friendly with him. Have you seen him a
-lot since he came back?"
-
-"When I went to borrow them and again to-day when I took them back,"
-replied Maggy, regaining her self-possession.
-
-"I wonder what he thinks of you!"
-
-"Oh, just mad," said Maggy.
-
-
-In a week's time it would be Christmas. The joys of anticipation helped
-her to endure Woolf's absence. She knew that her visit to Purton Towers
-would incense him, but she did not intend going it on that account. She
-would not be doing Woolf or herself any wrong in going. When he
-returned she would be quite honest and tell him all about it. Meanwhile
-she wrote to Chalfont.
-
-
-"_Dear Lord Chalfont:_
-
-"Lexie will love to come. Me too. But would you mind very much if I
-brought Mrs. Slightly and Mr. Onions?
-
-"Yours sincerely,
- "MAGGY DELAMERE."
-
-
-Her large and sprawly handwriting covered the sheet. Had it not been
-for the afterthought in the form of a postscript which she added
-overleaf, Chalfont might have remained in ignorance of the identity of
-the two additional guests. It ran thus:
-
-
-"I forgot you don't know them. Mrs. Slightly could sleep anywhere,
-being a cat. Mr. Onions is my dog and has a basket in my room. At any
-other time of the year I would not mind leaving them in charge of the
-porter at the flats but at Christmas everybody loses their heads and
-they might not get fed. They are not well bred but they have good
-manners."
-
-
-Chalfont did not mind in the least. If Maggy had wanted in addition to
-bring a tame goat he would have welcomed it. All her eccentricities
-amused him. Her solicitude for her two pets showed her thoughtfulness
-and goodness of heart. So, when the day arrived, Mrs. Slightly traveled
-to Purton Towers in a well-ventilated hat box, while Onions, wildly
-excited but restrained by a brand-new leather leash, sat between Maggy
-and Alexandra in the back of the car.
-
-It was a brilliant day, one of those sunny, windless days that belies
-the time of year. The air was crisp rather than cold, and the two
-girls, wrapped in their furs and a capacious rug, reveled in the swift
-rush of the open car infinitely more than if they had been driving in a
-closed one. Maggy was in prodigious spirits. Chalfont, driving with his
-man beside him, turned occasionally to watch her, regretting that he was
-unable to catch a word of her animated talk.
-
-"Isn't life a funny thing, Onions dear," she was bubbling rather than
-saying. "Six months ago you were a gagaboo little horror eating your
-namesakes out of a dustbin, and here you are being driven by a real live
-lord. The beauty of it is you don't know it and wouldn't care if you
-did. That's one of the reasons why I love you, Onions. You don't mind me
-being an abandoned female. You don't even know that I am one. That's
-why King Edward was so fond of his Caesar. Caesar didn't love him
-because he was a king but because he was a man. He might have been a
-coal-heaver for all Caesar cared. You little wog-wogs don't know
-anything about titles or the marriage service, but you can love, honor
-and obey better than we can, till death makes us howl and bury you."
-
-Onions, straining at his lead, leapt up and tried to snatch a mouthful
-of her motor-veil.
-
-"Onions, if I were rich I would try to make a heaven on earth for all
-the doggies in the world. I'd look for all the hungry ones and all the
-ugly ones and the beaten ones and the ones whose mothers sat on them and
-made them funny shapes. You should all have lovely patent kennels full
-of the best quality straw--heaps of it to wiggle around in; and exciting
-food, bones and the horrible things from insides that you like so much,
-and sulphur when you weren't looking, to keep you well and make your
-coats shine. And you should all run about wherever you pleased, chasing
-bunny-rabbits and mice and the other sniffy things that make dogs so
-excited. And there should be a special place all wired round for the
-slow doggies, all full of rabbits so that they couldn't get away. It
-wouldn't be cruel, because after a time you'd make friends with the
-bunnies and play hide and seek with them. Oh, what a lovely world we
-could make it if we had it all to ourselves. Lexie, do look at Onion's
-face. He's _laughing_!"
-
-Alexandra laughed too.
-
-"How you do lose your head and your heart to anything you love, Maggy,"
-she said.
-
-Maggy gave her one of her odd looks.
-
-"Isn't it a way women have?" she retorted.
-
-
-
-
- XXXIV
-
-
-The room, of regal dimensions, was paneled in linenfold, and hung with
-old tapestry. Giant specimens of William and Mary furniture did not
-crowd it; nor did the big canopied four-poster on its dais much curtail
-the floor-space. In the wide, open fireplace logs glowed warmly. A
-dozen candles shed a soft light on Alexandra as she sat in a tall carved
-armchair by the hearth, plaiting her hair. Maggy on the bed in her
-nightgown with her hands clasped round her knees was lost in the shadow
-of its brocaded curtains.
-
-"Pinch me, Lexie, or I shall believe it's all a dream and wake up," she
-said. "Fancy, a king slept here once. I wonder what he'd have said if
-he'd been told that hundreds of years afterwards a chorus girl was
-coming into his bed--" A shy gurgle brought her to a stop as she
-realized the doubtful meaning she had given to the last part of the
-sentence. "Lexie, how quiet you are."
-
-"I'm reveling in it too," said Alexandra with a contented sigh.
-
-"Oh, you're a lady by birth. It's natural to you."
-
-"Indeed it isn't. I've never been in such a lovely place in my life."
-
-"Footmen with powdered legs!" mused Maggy absently.
-
-Alexandra laughed softly.
-
-"Hair, I mean. Same thing.... And the dinner served like machinery and
-yet so quietly. None of the waiters--servants--in a hurry, and
-everything so natural and perfect. I thought I should feel like walking
-on new-laid eggs, but I didn't at all. Oh, if you lived in a place like
-this all your life you couldn't help growing noble and behaving
-beautifully. I don't feel properly vulgar here."
-
-"But you're not vulgar."
-
-"Well, perhaps not properly.... Isn't Mrs. Pardiston a dear? She's
-'the Honorable,' isn't she? I think 'the Honorable' sounds more
-splendid than 'Lady' or even 'Duchess.' 'Honorable!' It means so much.
-The others are tides, but 'the Honorable' is an--an--"
-
-"Attribute?" supplied Alexandra.
-
-"Yes, that's the word. Isn't it nice of him asking her--his own
-aunt--to meet us? Oh, Lord!"
-
-"What's the matter?"
-
-"I asked Lord Chalfont not to tell any one we were on the stage. Mrs.
-Pardiston can't know. She ought to. She's been so sweet to me. Perhaps
-she wouldn't have been if she'd known. I think I ought to tell her
-before I go to sleep."
-
-"Why not wait till the morning?" suggested Alexandra.
-
-"I'm sure to forget in the morning. I'm going to get up at seven to see
-the cows milked. You mustn't, Lexie, because you've got a cold. And
-then there'll be church, and after that the Christmas tree to do things
-to, and--I shan't _remember_ I'm on the stage to-morrow. Oh, are you
-going?"
-
-"My dear, it's past twelve." Alexandra's bedroom was opposite Maggy's.
-"I wish we had been together," she said.
-
-"So do I. But I suppose in the state of life unto which it has pleased
-God to call the aristocracy they never do sleep together. Good night,
-darling."
-
-Left alone, Maggy remained as she was, hugging her knees and thinking.
-The soft, warm silence wrapped her round. Her excited mind was full of
-the eventful day: the long motor run ending with her first close
-acquaintance with a noble old edifice such as she had only previously
-seen in pictures and photographs. Her first view of it had made her
-feel as if she could have knelt down and worshiped it. It was all so
-grand and so very, very good. Her tiny flat, which had hitherto seemed
-such a palace in her eyes, receded to its proper unimposing proportions.
-She saw the insignificance of her little white "bedroom suite" beside
-the stately furniture that surrounded her. She thought of the dignity,
-the age and the atmosphere of peace into which, as on a magic carpet,
-she had been suddenly transported, and compared it with the fret and
-turmoil and passion of her own life. She had been timorous at first of
-Mrs. Pardiston with her air of high breeding, and then fallen completely
-under the spell of her charm. It had shown itself so gently maternal
-toward her and Alexandra, so unquestioning.
-
-But Mrs. Pardiston probably assumed her to be a lady. It seemed absurd,
-in spite of her having striven hard to appear as to the manner born.
-Indeed, she had succeeded in behaving charmingly. Only her modesty
-prevented her being assured of it. Even supposing she had satisfied
-Lord Chalfont's aunt in that respect, she still felt she was imposing on
-the dear old lady by not having disclosed her want of social standing.
-With that doubt on her mind she got into bed, the enormous bed that
-enveloped her like a warm, embracing sea. It kept her awake. Not more
-than an hour since, Mrs. Pardiston bidding her good-night had said,
-"Come to me if you want anything, my dears. You know where my room is."
-
-Recollection of those words sent her flying out of bed. She felt she
-must go and make confession. Out in the wide corridor she was directed
-by a stream of light that came from under her hostess's door. She
-knocked at it ever so gently, and was bidden to enter. She opened it
-and stood on the threshhold, hesitating.
-
-Mrs. Pardiston was sitting up in bed, reading. Maggy's subsequent
-impression of her was always that of a white-haired Madonna crowned with
-folds of soft lace.
-
-"May I come in? Am--am I disturbing you?" she asked timidly.
-
-"No, my dear. I never get to sleep for hours. But what is it?"
-
-Maggy closed the door. Barefooted, in her nightgown, with her hair
-ruffled, she looked and felt like a child caught in some reprehensible
-act.
-
-"I didn't know whether you knew we--I--I'm a chorus-girl," she
-stammered.
-
-Mrs. Pardiston shut her book. She had been reading the story of the
-birth of Jesus. That lonely vigil of Mary and her outcast Son, the
-friendlessness and loneliness of it, had its special appeal on this the
-dawn of its anniversary. Her heart was touched. For some unknown
-reason also it went out to the girl so wistfully standing by her bed.
-
-"Are you, dear?" she said tenderly. "Wrap yourself in the eider-down
-and tell me all about it."
-
-Tell her all about it! Maggy was quite unprepared for the calm and
-friendly overture.
-
-"Would you mind if I didn't?" she faltered. "It would take so long. I
-dance and sing for my living, that's all. There's nothing interesting
-about it. But I thought you ought to know, else you might have--"
-
-Mrs. Pardiston smiled reassuringly.
-
-"I should never think ill of a person because they worked for their
-living. It was nice of you to want to trust me."
-
-"I did. You've been so kind.... But I'm interrupting you. You were
-reading."
-
-"You can read to me, if you will." Mrs. Pardiston took off her
-spectacles and handed Maggy the book, indicating the place. "Are you
-quite warm? But perhaps you would rather go to bed?"
-
-"I'll read a little first, please."
-
-Not till then did Maggy observe that the book she held was the Bible. A
-solemn look came into her face. Her voice was a little unsteady as she
-began to read.
-
-"'Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the
-King, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
-
-"'Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen
-his star in the east, and are come to worship him....'"
-
-Chalfont, passing the room on his way to bed, heard Maggy's voice, and
-paused to listen.
-
-
-
-
- XXXV
-
-
-To get up of a winter's morning to see his cows milked was not a usual
-diversion with Chalfont, but to please Maggy he turned out at seven and
-took her to the home farm to witness that process. She was absorbed by
-it. She had never before been nearer to a cow than the average hedge
-permits of; and to see them, as she did now, in the family circle, so to
-speak, was a delightful novelty to her. Her love of animals was very
-real. She went into raptures over Chalfont's velvety-nosed prize
-Jerseys.
-
-In her hurry to get up she had neglected to use any of the creams and
-unguents which she deemed necessary for the adornment of her face. It
-had been too dark for Chalfont to notice this omission at first, but on
-their way back he became aware of it, and also of the flawlessness of
-her complexion. Without stopping to think, he said:
-
-"What have you done to yourself?"
-
-"You mean, what have I not done?" she laughed. "I've forgotten my face.
-Left it out."
-
-He was on the point of apologizing for his blunder, but said instead: "I
-like you much better as you are."
-
-"That's what Lexie's always saying. But it's habit. When a girl
-makes-up year in and year out she feels undressed without it. Savages
-have that feeling, I suppose," she added comically. "I haven't wished
-you a happy Christmas yet. I do hope you will be very happy--later on."
-
-"Thank you. And I hope you will be happy always."
-
-"I'm happy now, at any rate. I believe this is going to be the most
-heavenly day of my life. I feel it in my bones."
-
-A few moments later she burst into Alexandra's bedroom.
-
-"Oh, Lexie dear, happy Christmas! I've been saying it to the cows and
-the horses and the lodge-keeper's children ever since seven. Give me a
-hug. I haven't got your Christmas present with me, because it's an
-eider-down quilt. You'll find it on your bed when you get back. Don't
-let's think of getting back though. It's so perfect here. What time
-will church be? I suppose I mustn't take Onions to church? He chased
-the fowls all over the farmyard this morning. Lord Chalfont says I can
-leave him here if I like. It would be nice for Onions, but not for the
-fowls. There's a bell! It must be for breakfast. Come along; I'm
-famished."
-
-Church followed on the heels of breakfast. Maggy had never been to a
-Christmas service before. She was tremendously impressed by it. The
-maternal instinct, always very strong in her, tugged at her heart
-strings. Once, as she knelt, Alexandra noticed that she was quietly
-crying. So did Chalfont.
-
-Mrs. Pardiston and Alexandra stopped for Communion. Leaving the motor
-for them, the other two walked back. Maggy was very quiet. With the
-latent understanding that made Chalfont attune himself to her mood he
-too refrained from speech. Presently she burst out:
-
-"Why does the world only appreciate people after they're dead? What is
-the good of birthdays when you're not alive? That poor little baby! If
-He came down from Heaven again they'd let Him be born in a manger just
-the same. Only children ought to go to church on Christmas day. They're
-good enough. We're not. Do you know, I wondered I wasn't struck dumb
-for being anywhere near to God. God was in church this morning. I felt
-Him. I'm not religious, but I believe in God now. Oh, I wish I was
-good, like Lexie. I wish I didn't know what love is. I wish I'd never
-been wicked!"
-
-She was wrought-up. She had forgotten the necessity for reticence. Her
-confession had to come. The restraint of sex was forgotten. If she
-thought of Chalfont at all at that moment, it was as a brother rather
-than a man.
-
-"Hush," he said. "You're not wicked."
-
-"I am, I am," she reiterated. "_I_ ought to have had a baby.... People
-must have thought the usual things of Mary because of hers.... But she
-had Him."
-
-"You poor little woman," he said unsteadily.
-
-That he should express compassion where most men would have shown
-despisement filled her with almost dog-like gratitude.
-
-"I _do_ like you," she said with sudden vehemence. "If I had been dear
-Mrs. Lambert I would have loved you."
-
-"Thank you," he said very seriously.
-
-Like a passing cloud, the strange emotional mood soon left her. Her
-volatile spirits rose again. By the time she had taken Onions for a
-scamper in the grounds she was quite her old self. Chalfont, watching
-her flitting here and there, thought only of her rapturous enjoyment of
-innocent pleasures, and succeeded for a little while in forgetting that
-such a person as Woolf with his sullying associations was in existence.
-
-The day passed with dream-like swiftness for the two girls. They
-snatched at its fleeting pleasures according to their temperaments. To
-Alexandra it was a delightful break in a life which she was beginning to
-loathe, one for which she could not be too grateful. Its very
-evanescence caused her to enjoy it with temperate zest. Maggy's
-livelier feelings made her grasp at all it brought forth with both
-hands. To her it was a glimpse into fairyland, or at least a world in
-which she classed herself a complete outsider.
-
-Chalfont had not forgotten her desire for a Christmas tree and the
-presence of children to enjoy it. All the youngsters on the estate had
-been bidden to the treat. There were small boys, rosy of cheek, in
-their best; small girls, eager-eyed, in the whitest of pinafores.
-Maggy, at Mrs. Pardiston's request, presided over the feast arranged for
-them. She it was who afterwards distributed the gifts from the loaded
-Christmas tree. Within five minutes the children were under her spell;
-in ten she seemed to know all their names and a great deal about each of
-them. When at last the tree was stripped of all but its candles she
-started games and joined in them. She romped. She was a child among
-children.
-
-When they had all gone, Chalfont suggested that before dressing for
-dinner the two girls should inspect the picture-gallery, which they had
-not yet seen, and as soon as it was lighted up he led the way there.
-Maggy's interest at once centered in the many portraits that lined the
-walls. The landscapes and genre pictures that interspersed them she
-passed by. Individualities only concerned her, and to these, in the
-canvasses of dead and gone Chalfonts she gave a rapt attention, stopping
-at each that appealed to her and asking for its history. One portrait
-in particular, that of a very beautiful girl, she looked at for a long
-time.
-
-"Who was she?" she inquired.
-
-"My grandmother," replied Chalfont. "It was painted just after her
-marriage. She was only nineteen when she died, a year later."
-
-"Oh, what a pity! Why?"
-
-Chalfont passed to the next portrait.
-
-"Her son," he said. "My father."
-
-Maggy understood. She glanced back sadly at the youthful face of the
-mother.
-
-Chalfonts in armor, in uniform, in silk and velvet and in lace,
-confronted her everywhere. She flitted from one to the other, admiring,
-impressed.
-
-"How proud of them all you must be," she said finally. "Fancy
-having--ancestors!"
-
-As she spoke she paused before the portrait of a woman, perceiving in it
-something different from the rest. The face was handsome, yet lacked a
-high-bred look.
-
-"Another ancestress," said Chalfont. "An actress, a contemporary of
-Mrs. Siddons."
-
-"How did she come here?" wondered Maggy, almost jealous for the honor of
-his house.
-
-"She married the fourth Viscount."
-
-"Married him!" She stared at the painted lady. "It was a mistake," she
-said, as though to herself, and in so odd a tone that the others
-laughed.
-
-
-When Chalfont set the two girls down at the stage-door on Boxing night
-Maggy pressed a note into his hand. He read it at his club, where he
-went to dine before returning to the theater.
-
-"'Thank you very much' sounds so beastly ordinary in words, so I must
-write it, because I want you to know that I am ever so grateful for the
-way you have treated me. It's proper for a darling saint like Lexie to
-be asked to stay at Purton Towers. But me--that's another thing. I
-shall get into hot water with Mr. Woolf for coming, and I don't suppose
-he'll allow it again if you ask me, or even let me see you. But don't
-ever think that I can forget your kindness. Although you know what I am
-you have had me down to your beautiful home, with your sweet honorable
-aunt just as if I wasn't a common girl, which I am. The only thing I
-can say is that perhaps if I had been properly brought up and had a name
-to be proud of I shouldn't have dragged it in the mud like I have my own
-silly name which can't belong to me because it's the classy kind
-actresses make up. Don't laugh. I'm not often serious, but I do say
-God bless you and I mean it.
-
-"MAGGY."
-
-
-The overture was coming to an end when Chalfont took his seat in the
-stalls. As the curtain swished up his eyes went to Maggy, scantily clad
-in diaphanous chiffon. He was thinking of the golden heart of the girl,
-not at all of her compulsorily over-exposed beauty.
-
-But Maggy was blushing beneath her grease paint. A sudden access of
-modesty had come over her. It was as baffling to herself as was the
-remark she flung to the girl dancing beside her--one, two, three and a
-kick.
-
-"What wouldn't I give for a blanket!"
-
-
-
-
- XXXVI
-
-
-One evening, a few days after Christmas, De Freyne waylaid Alexandra as
-she was coming from her dressing-room.
-
-"Your cough doesn't seem to go," he said. "People in the stalls don't
-want to be reminded of graveyards. It's rather suggestive. You ought
-to see a doctor."
-
-"I'll find out who my panel doctor is," she said.
-
-"I should prefer you to go to Bernard Meer. Son of the late Sir Morton
-Meer, you know. Like his father, he's a throat specialist, and not
-given to charging fees to members of the profession. Say you're at the
-Pall Mall and mention my name when you see him."
-
-She was reluctant to do as De Freyne wished, but he was insistent, and
-she promised to call at the Wimpole Street address which he gave her. It
-seemed rather absurd to go to a specialist for a bottle of cough
-mixture. She took her slight throat affection as a matter-of-course, a
-cold induced by the draughts on the stage and the change of temperature
-to which she was exposed after leaving the theater at night.
-
-When, therefore, she presented herself next morning in Wimpole Street
-she was in a very apologetic frame of mind. A full waiting-room,
-testifying to the doctor's importance, did not help to restore her
-confidence. She was the last to arrive and had a long time to wait.
-When her turn came to enter the consulting room she was more nervous
-than she had been when making her first appearance on the stage. She
-had pictured Dr. Meer as an elderly man, and her discomfiture was all
-the greater when she found him to be a young one, not over thirty. It
-may have been prudish--in some respects she was apt to suffer from
-excess of delicacy--but she had a maidenly dread of the physical
-examination which she knew she would have to undergo. Hardly had the
-door closed behind her when she felt that the specialist's keen gray
-eyes had X-rayed through her sable coat and made a mental photograph of
-her slightly protruding collarbones.
-
-Schooled to read faces, he saw how nervous she was and wondered at it.
-Nervousness in De Freyne's young ladies was something of an anachronism.
-
-"Well, what's wrong?" he asked cheerfully.
-
-"Only a cold," she replied. "It seems ridiculous to bother you."
-
-He smiled. For so young a man and an unmarried one his manner was
-reassuringly paternal. It was not artificial pretentiousness, but
-genuine and natural to him.
-
-"You ought not to be in the habit of catching cold in such a gorgeous
-fur coat. We'll have it off, please."
-
-Bereft of the garment, her fragility was evident enough. Bernard Meer
-admired slight women; but this girl's physique struck him as too
-delicate for stage-work. He thought, too, that he detected signs of
-privation in her face. Why that should be when apparently she could
-afford to dress so expensively was a puzzle to him. He sounded her
-carefully.
-
-"There's nothing much the matter, is there?" she asked, when he had
-done.
-
-"Not at present. But you're too thin. You want looking after,
-coddling. Are you very keen on the stage?"
-
-"I don't find it altogether alluring," she made answer a little
-reluctantly; "but I can't afford to give it up."
-
-"That isn't absolutely necessary. Only--well, the luxuries that the
-average woman can easily do without are essential to you. Get the
-person who gave you those furs to treat you to a few guinea jars of
-turtle soup and--"
-
-Alexandra's flaming face made him stop.
-
-"The lady who gave them to me is dead," she said quietly.
-
-A little while ago she would have resented Meer's words as an
-intentional insult. Now she knew that her connection with the stage had
-suggested them to him. Probably he meant nothing offensive. As a
-matter of fact he did not. Still, for some reason which she could not
-define, she felt hurt that he should have thought it necessary to convey
-what he did.
-
-She felt, too, that his scrutiny was not entirely that of the physician.
-She sensed the man in it. Had she also been aware that he was admiring
-her--a circumstance of which his impassive face gave no indication--and
-that he was pleasantly surprised to find her free from a weakness common
-to the general run of De Freyne's beauties, her perturbation would have
-been greater than it was.
-
-"The trouble with you," he said with friendly intent, "is mainly want of
-proper nourishment. Please forgive the question, but--are you hard up?"
-
-"No, not at present. At least, not very. I was rather, before I went
-back to the Pall Mall."
-
-"Back? You were there before?"
-
-"Yes."
-
-He seemed to be thinking.
-
-"Are you in the chorus?"
-
-"I used to be. Now I have a small part."
-
-"But not much in the way of salary?"
-
-"Thirty-five shillings a week. But I have forty pounds a year of my own
-besides. I should be quite reasonably well off if it were not for the
-many little things I have to find for the theater. I ought not to
-complain. There are thousands of girls far worse off than I am."
-
-"And you live--where?"
-
-He made a note of the address.
-
-"Your appetite?" was the next question. "For instance, what did you have
-for breakfast this morning?"
-
-"Tea, and bread and butter ... and there was an egg."
-
-"The usual sort of egg?" he augmented cynically.
-
-"A little more than usual," she replied with a faint smile.
-
-"I see. And I suppose you will have lunch at a bunshop?"
-
-"Yes. Please don't look so prejudiced. Some bunshops are quite
-satisfying places. One sees plenty of men there as well as women."
-
-"That's so. Anaemic clerks who should be eating a good midday meal to
-make up for an indifferent supper at night, and girls who need meat
-contenting themselves with coffee and a roll, or perhaps pastry! Now
-I'm going to write you a prescription. Mind you get it made up and take
-it. Let me see you again three days from now. If you don't come I
-shall visit you. Seriously, you need to take care of yourself."
-
-He stopped the protest that rose to her lips, gave her the prescription,
-and, again impressing on her the necessity of coming to report progress,
-let her go. Why he, who had never previously felt any hankering after
-an actress, should want to see more of a stray girl, and one of De
-Freyne's at that, was more than he could explain to himself.
-
-Alexandra kept the appointment and several others after it. Her first
-shyness vanished. Meer disguised his personal interest in her because he
-wanted to benefit her professionally. Not until he had practically cured
-her throat trouble did he give her any indication of his real feelings.
-
-"I think you'll be all right now if you take care of yourself," he told
-her one morning.
-
-"I've given you a lot of trouble," she rejoined gratefully.
-
-She placed two guineas on a side table. He picked up the coins and
-handed them back to her.
-
-"Certainly not."
-
-"But--please? You can't do it for nothing."
-
-"I haven't done it for nothing. If you want to recompense me, you can
-quite easily. I should be honored if you will lunch with me. Will
-you?"
-
-"But," she hesitated, "I don't go out to lunch with anybody--ever."
-
-"That's why I said I should be honored if you would. Come, we're quite
-friends. I've seen you four times for ten minutes!"
-
-She wanted to accept. After all, as she had expressed it to Maggy when
-Woolf had asked her out, there was no harm in lunching with a man. She
-was reminded of that opinion, now that it applied to herself. She
-wanted to accept Meer's invitation, but was held back by a suspicion of
-what these lunches, suppers and dinners were meant to lead to. Men
-seemed to think that a girl on the stage could be bought for the price
-of a dinner! And then, in her indecision, she looked at Meer, saw the
-friendly eagerness in his face, and let reason give way to inclination.
-
-"I don't want to refuse," she said.
-
-Five minutes later they were on their way to the Carlton. Meer would
-have preferred enjoying her society in a less popular place, but there
-was a matinee that day and the Pall Mall was so close to the great
-restaurant.
-
-When Alexandra knew where they were bound for diffidence seized on her.
-Maggy might be there. If she were, and saw her with a man, what would
-she think? Alexandra felt that there could be no two answers to that
-question. She entered the big, rose-colored room in fear and trembling.
-
-Maggy, however, was not lunching at the Carlton that day. But Lander,
-the composer of Alexandra's new song, saw her and carried the news to De
-Freyne.
-
-"Who do you think was lunching with Bernard Meer at the Carlton to-day?"
-he began.
-
-"No woman," answered De Freyne. "He hates 'em. Thinks they've got
-fluff in their heads instead of brains, and that's why they're so
-light-headed. Told me so himself."
-
-"It was a woman for all that. Nobody less than little Hersey! And, by
-Jove, it was quite fascinating to watch her. At first she hardly spoke
-a word; but before long she might have been alone with him in the
-restaurant. She seemed to have clean forgotten everybody else in the
-place. And he was just as taken up with her. They couldn't take their
-eyes off one another. Wonder what it means?"
-
-"Oh, nothing. You've got hold of the wrong end of the stick, my dear
-chap. Why, she only met the fellow a fortnight ago. I sent her to him.
-Meer wouldn't look at one of my lot, except professionally."
-
-However, when he saw Alexandra that evening he chaffed her.
-
-"I hear you were lunching with Meer to-day," he said. "Was that part of
-his prescription?" Something in her face so entirely pure and at the
-same time so piteous, made him refrain from saying more. He had once
-seen much the same expression in his own daughter's face when she had
-shyly told him that some one had proposed to her and was coming for his
-consent. "Damn it all," he reflected. "She's going to fall in love
-like any ordinary girl!" Aloud he said, "Meer isn't a marrying sort,
-you know."
-
-Alexandra bent her head as she passed him.
-
-Bernard Meer was in the stalls that night. She saw him looking at her.
-Once he smiled, and, trembling, she smiled back, and despised herself
-for smiling, since now like nearly all the others she had "a friend" in
-the house.
-
-
-
-
- XXXVII
-
-
-Prince's was filling up for supper. The diapason of many voices, the
-tinkle of silver and glass, merged pleasantly with the music of the
-band; the sound was like a paean of praise to Amphitryon.
-
-Maggy and Woolf occupied a table at the end of the room opposite the
-balcony. The latter had been back about ten days, and Maggy was happy
-again. She lived so entirely in the present that she had actually and
-honestly forgotten to tell him about her visit to Purton Towers. Of
-Chalfont she had seen nothing more. Woolf so filled her thoughts that,
-for once, she was even out of touch with Alexandra. A minute or two at
-night between entrances and exits was all they were able to give to one
-another. Then Maggy's one subject was "her Fred," and Alexandra's
-reserve kept her silent about Bernard Meer.
-
-"Look over there," said Woolf rather suddenly. His straying eyes, ever
-in search of youth and beauty, had lit on a face he knew.
-
-"Where?" asked Maggy, gazing about at random.
-
-"On your left. Four tables away."
-
-Maggy gave a start of astonishment when at last she discerned Alexandra
-with a man, a highly-presentable man, rather stern of face, good-looking
-and comparatively young. Her Lexie with a man! She stared,
-tongue-tied.
-
-"See her?" asked Woolf, and broke the spell of silence that held her.
-
-Maggy in her excitement half rose from her chair and called a greeting
-to Alexandra. Until then, the latter, though fully prepared to see
-Maggy in such a place, had been unaware of her presence. At the sound
-of her voice she looked up, nodded and smiled. Meer, turning to see who
-had attracted her attention, gave Maggy a glance full of interest. It
-was evident to him that she and Alexandra were something more than mere
-acquaintances.
-
-"What a striking-looking girl," he said. "Who is she?"
-
-"Her name is Maggy Delamere," replied Alexandra. "We used to live
-together at Sidey Street."
-
-"And now?"
-
-"She has a flat," she said with a little constraint.
-
-"Is she on the stage?"
-
-"Yes. At the Pall Mall. Haven't you noticed her? She's in the front
-row."
-
-"I didn't know De Freyne had any married women in his chorus," said Meer
-thoughtfully.
-
-"But Maggy isn't married," began Alexandra, and then stopped in
-confusion, suspecting that he must have seen the conspicuously broad
-wedding ring on Maggy's left hand, just as she herself could see it.
-She crumbled her bread nervously.
-
-"Are you in favor of that sort of thing?" Meer asked abruptly, showing
-that he had been following her line of thought.
-
-"It's very usual--on the stage," she answered evasively.
-
-"You don't condemn it."
-
-"I don't condemn my friend, if that's what you mean."
-
-"But do you condone it?" he persisted.
-
-"Oh, how can I tell you? It's a question of what one feels
-individually," she countered desperately. "With a woman it doesn't
-necessarily mean that she has chosen that way.... Sometimes she has no
-alternative."
-
-"You mean that your friend would rather be married?"
-
-"Much rather."
-
-After a pause he said: "Then what is your opinion of a man who only
-offers a woman love without marriage?"
-
-"Not a very high one. I couldn't respect him," she replied, greatly
-embarrassed. "It seems such an unfair advantage to take of a girl who
-has more than enough of unfair things to contend with already. I--I
-would rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."
-
-It seemed to her that he was deliberately sounding her code of morality
-before making the proposition which she felt was imminent if she
-continued to see him. She could no longer disguise from herself that he
-wanted her, and that her own instinct was not one of flight. Had she
-met him before she had gone on the stage she would have estimated his
-feelings toward her correctly, seen that he was honorably attracted to
-her. But her recent experiences had distorted her views about
-courtship. Her heart would have beaten to a different tune had she
-known that his motive in questioning her about Maggy was merely to
-ascertain her opinion on a matter which, owing to her connection with
-the stage, must be familiar to her. After her expressed desire to avoid
-it he let it drop, and turned to another, more vital to himself and her,
-on which he had made up his mind to speak to her that evening.
-
-"How long must you and I go on like this?" he asked in an undertone,
-full of suppressed feeling.
-
-Her heart thumped in her throat so that she could not answer.
-
-"I mean," he said, "that it's not very satisfying seeing you so
-occasionally. It's true we haven't known one another very long as time
-goes, but it has been long enough for me to realize my own feelings. I
-want you. Those three words mean everything that a man can say to a
-woman. What is your answer?"
-
-The surge of feeling, the thrill she experienced as he said "I want
-you," left her in no doubt as to her own emotions. She not only loved,
-she loved without reservation, with a magnitude so huge that it seemed
-as though a transport of yearning were being pumped into her by some
-external Titanic force. And it came from him, the man facing, close to
-her. She heard the clarion cry of sex for the first time in a crowded
-restaurant, where she could not even cover her face with her hands and
-so hide her besieged virginity from the sight of men. She could only
-sit still and feel her shame creeping into her face. Maggy, glancing
-her way every now and then, saw the agitation that was moving her and
-thought she was going to faint.
-
-"Lexie's ill!" she whispered anxiously, and was about to get up and go
-to her.
-
-Woolf's hand detained her. He had been watching Meer, and also seen
-Alexandra's face.
-
-"Sit still," he commanded.
-
-"But she's going to faint!"
-
-"Not she!"
-
-"Then--what's the matter with her?"
-
-"_Can't you see?_" he chuckled.
-
-Maggy gasped. Lexie, of all people--at last! It was as if she saw a
-huge warm wave gathering, gaining speed, advancing on the game little
-swimmer and bearing her off captive.
-
-
-
-
- XXXVIII
-
-
-Alexandra sat on the edge of her bed. In the little room with the
-cistern the temperature was bitterly cold, but she was insensible to it.
-
-He had said wonderful things. He had said she was beautiful.... By the
-light of the candle she peered into the glass, trying to see her face as
-he had seen it. Perhaps it was the effect of the two great plaits of
-dark hair that hung framing it, or of a certain new softness in her
-eyes, of something knowledgeable that she had not seen there before, but
-she felt that she was looking at herself for the first time unveiled.
-
-Her hands went to her nightgown, holding it to her; then, as
-involuntarily, they loosened.
-
-Shyly, as though she were not alone, she gazed back at the dim
-reflection in the mirror and knew that girlhood was behind her, that she
-was no longer, as Kipling's little maid,
-
- "A field unfilled, a web unwove,
- A bud withheld from sun or bee,
- An alien in the courts of Love,
- And priestess of his shrine is she."
-
-
-All rosy, she blew out the light.
-
-
-
-
- XXXIX
-
-
-Next morning Maggy was round at Sidey Street. She felt that confidences
-were in the air. If Alexandra was not dying to impart them she at least
-was "all of a twitter" to hear them.
-
-"Lexie," she cried, bursting in, "don't have any secrets from me. Who
-is he?"
-
-Alexandra was in the act of writing a letter. She looked up
-apathetically.
-
-"You mean the man I was with last night?" she said. "I'm not going to
-see him any more, so we won't talk about him."
-
-"Oh, yes, we will! Why, I do believe you're writing to him now!"
-
-"You can read what I've written."
-
-Thus invited, Maggy looked over her shoulder. Alexandra had begun a
-stilted little note to Bernard Meer in which she briefly refused to meet
-him any more.
-
-"I don't think you'll post it," said Maggy shrewdly. "It doesn't ring
-true. Besides, what do you want to run away from him for? He looked
-just the sort of man one could trust, not a bit like the stage-door pest
-kind."
-
-She cross-examined Alexandra, dragged from her the few bald details of
-her half-dozen meetings with Meer.
-
-"Of course you're in love with him," she declared. "I saw it in your
-face. If I hadn't been so taken up with Fred I should have found out
-things before last night. Lexie, what's going to happen?"
-
-The tone in which Maggy asked the question showed that she expected a
-particular answer, that she would be surprised if it were not the one
-which followed the line of least resistance. It set Alexandra wavering.
-
-"Oh, Maggy," she said desperately, "if any one had told me a few months
-ago that I should ever have had to fight against that sort of temptation
-I should have died of shame! All last night I lay awake hating and
-despising myself, and all the time I was trying to find excuses for
-myself. I never thought love would come like this, taking one unawares,
-giving one no time to prepare for it. If I ever let myself think of it
-at all it was as of some fragrant and beautiful little plant that one
-could watch shoot and grow and bud--"
-
-"Instead of that it's gone and done a kind of Mango trick like I saw at
-St. George's Hall once--sprouted up into a full-grown tree while you
-waited, or rather while you didn't wait. I daresay love might have come
-as you picture it, Lexie, if you'd stayed at home. Plants grow faster
-in a forcing-house; and the stage is, well--a hot-bed. If you're really
-in love you might as well try and get away from it as from an express
-train when it's bowled you over. After all, there's just a chance you
-won't get scrunched to pieces if you take it lying down."
-
-For the hundredth time in the last twelve hours Alexandra found herself
-wondering whether she dared follow Maggy's example, and give herself to
-the man she loved. If she did, what would be the outcome of it? How
-long would such an affection, at least on the man's part, last? Always
-those old set views of hers about life and morality rose up to haunt her
-indecision. Was she, after all, to recant, give up the fight, own
-herself beaten?
-
-"Poor old Lexie," murmured Maggy, taking her hand after a long silence.
-
-"Maggy,"--Alexandra held her eyes questioningly--"tell me honestly: do
-you in any way regret what you did? You know why I want to know."
-
-Maggy looked within herself.
-
-"No," she answered thoughtfully, "I don't. I do admit there's one thing
-that spoils it, makes it different to being married. You often wonder
-at night, or first thing in the morning, sometimes even in daytime,
-whether it's one day nearer the end or how far off the end is. I'm
-prepared for Fred to get tired of me one day, though I hope it won't
-come for years and years. But so long as he's straight over it I'll
-meet him half way. I'll go to my own funeral, and not sniffle. It
-wouldn't be reasonable to refuse to take the consequences. You've got to
-choose for yourself. I believe it's the only way for us girls on the
-stage. With most of us marriage is an accident. Only go into it with
-your eyes open. Leave out the fairy-tale notion that 'they lived
-happily ever afterwards,' or at least half of it. Thank goodness for
-the 'happily,' and be satisfied with it."
-
-"If only I could get right away," murmured Alexandra. "Here I feel
-hunted down. I sit and think and think and get weaker and weaker. And
-this room and the street simply shriek to me to leave them."
-
-"I know all the symptoms, dear. They're new to you, but I've had them
-over and over again. The funny part is, Lexie, now it's come to the
-point I feel different about you. Although I was always telling you to
-climb over the garden wall to the little boy next door, now that you're
-half way up I'm afraid to give you a push. You might drop into
-something you didn't expect.... Oh, Lexie, pet, in my mind's eye I only
-see you dressed in white and orange blossoms. It's a damned shame you
-shouldn't have them.... And yet, if you don't, it may be worse later
-on, because you know as well as I do that you can't do any good on the
-stage all by yourself, and it's better to have the man you'd have
-married if you'd been given the chance than one you don't care a rap
-about except for what he can give you. It all sounds so muddley when I
-try and put things into words, but I know what I mean myself."
-
-She stayed a little longer, but, after this, they both instinctively
-kept to the shallows of conversation, avoiding the depths. When she had
-gone, Alexandra, as Maggy had prophesied, tore up her letter. She took
-a fresh sheet and without hesitating wrote, "Just when you
-wish--Alexandra."
-
-Then she went out and posted it, and, having betrayed herself, came home
-and wept bitterly.
-
-
-
-
- XL
-
-
-The crisis of surrender once passed Alexandra shed no more tears. Not
-that she ceased to feel. Indeed, her sensibilities were all on edge and
-remained so. But other feminine instincts soon asserted themselves.
-One was the blessed refuge of clothes. Tragedy notwithstanding, she
-must make herself presentable. She thought it would distract her. At
-first it did because she had to scheme to make the most of her dwindling
-store of wearing apparel. All that she was rich in were those outer
-garments bequeathed to her by Mrs. Lambert. For hours she adapted this
-and repaired that, improvising a pretense at a trousseau. That it was
-only pretense burnt itself into her brain. Every ribbon she threaded
-through slotted embroidery was not unlike a tug at her heart strings.
-All her things had been marked with her name in full by the hands of the
-loved mother who had put every stitch into them. Well, there would be
-no change of name. She tried not to think what the dead mother, who had
-treasured her and taught her to pray, would feel if she could know of
-the step her only daughter was about to take. And though God now seemed
-to have turned His face from her, or she hers from God, she thanked Him
-for the dead's sake that avowal of it could not be made. Her mood was
-one of thankfulness for small mercies. She no longer rebelled against
-the laxity of stage morals. She was going to conform to them. The
-stage had deadened her susceptibilities to right and wrong. She was of
-it. She had elected to go the way it pointed. She had let down the
-drawbridge of her maidenhood for the besieging host to walk over as an
-invited guest.
-
-In the midst of her needlework and her bitter thoughts there came the
-sound of feet mounting the stairs. Mrs. Bell opened the door and
-announced "The doctor to see you, Miss Hersey," in a tone that clearly
-proclaimed that his visit provided her with a touch of the same kind of
-excitement which she derived from a funeral. Alexandra was on her feet
-by this time, painfully conscious of the litter of garments that lay
-around her. Coloring, she gathered them all up in a heap, and turned to
-face her lover. He stood still, impatiently waiting for Mrs. Bell to
-depart, and only spoke when the sound of her descending footsteps had
-died away. Then he took Alexandra in his arms and kissed her.
-
-"I got your note a quarter of an hour ago," he said. "I couldn't wait.
-I want to know about this wretched stage business. How soon can you get
-out of it?"
-
-The question took her aback. She could not understand why he should
-wish her to leave the stage. She assumed that her connection with it
-had been the spur to his desire of her.
-
-"But--" she faltered, "do you want me to leave it?"
-
-"Don't _you_ want to?"
-
-"I--I don't think I ought to, now that I've made a start--"
-
-"But, my dear child," he interrupted, "you won't want to work for your
-living when you're my wife!"
-
-She almost doubted the evidence of her ears.
-
-"What did you say?" she managed to ask.
-
-"I said: When you're my wife. What else could you be? You didn't
-propose to be a sister to me, did you? I'm impatient, dear. In your
-letter you wrote: 'Just when you wish.' Didn't you mean it?"
-
-She hid her burning face on his shoulder as she thought of what she had
-meant. And all the while his one idea had been marriage! His wife!
-Wife! Surely no word ever spoken could be so full of hallowed
-significance! ... What would he think of her if he knew what she had
-really meant? Ought she to tell him? Maidenly modesty counseled
-reserve, to take what the gods had given her. But would that be honest?
-Maggy, in her position, would have blurted out the truth at once in her
-downright way: "Married and respectable! Oh, my dear, I didn't think
-you meant to include that in the program!" or some such easy phrase.
-But she was not Maggy, and words would not come. She heard Meer asking
-her how soon she could marry him; heard him outline a honeymoon in
-places that would cure her cough. And all the while she could say
-nothing. Meer, as happy as a schoolboy, was making an inspection of the
-room. Love lent a glamour to its cramped proportions and mean
-appurtenances. His eyes went to the small bed, resplendent now by reason
-of Maggy's eiderdown; an exasperating little bed nevertheless because it
-made nearly as many sleep-dispelling noises as the too obtrusive
-cistern.
-
-"And that's where you sleep!" he said softly. The lacy pillow-case with
-her monogram on it, another of Maggy's gifts, lay uppermost. He bent
-and kissed it, then laughed diffidently and moved toward her. She
-shrank back a step, making a gesture with her hands that was almost
-supplicatory.
-
-"There's something I must say. I owe it to you," she said with quick
-breaths. "You may not want to marry me when you know."
-
-He saw that she was nerving herself to make some confession. Her
-connection with the stage and his own intimate knowledge of it, gained
-through professional attendance on many of its members, brought the
-disquieting thought that it might have to do with that ethical laxity
-that pervades its atmosphere. But none-the-less his arms went round
-her.
-
-"I know the stage is a dashed hard place for a girl," he said gruffly.
-"So if it's anything that's finished and done with don't tell me."
-
-She shook her head. "It's to do with me ... now."
-
-"Not some other man?"
-
-"No. Only you; you are the only one there ever has been, or ever will
-be."
-
-"Then what in the world is wrong?"
-
-Alexandra's words came tumbling out as though she feared her courage
-would evaporate before she could speak them.
-
-"You said the stage was a hard place for girls. It is. It's all so
-wrong everywhere that the idea of a man proposing marriage is--is a
-surprise.... Oh, won't you understand?" She clasped her hands tensely.
-"You need not marry me--unless you want to, because I--didn't expect
-it."
-
-She buried her head for very shame. Her last words were barely audible.
-She longed to look at him to learn what was in his face, but did not
-dare.
-
-Meer did not leave her long in doubt.
-
-"My dear," he said, moved to the very heart of him. "That is between
-you and me--and God."
-
-
-
-
- XLI
-
-
-After leaving Alexandra that morning Maggy had driven to Woolf's club.
-They had arranged to lunch together at some restaurant, but instead he
-bore her off to her flat, scarcely vouchsafing a word to her on the way.
-That he was in a towering rage she could see plainly enough. The reason
-for it she could not guess. He was apt to lose his temper. At such
-times she would tactfully wait until he had calmed down. Now, however,
-she was hungry and wanted her lunch, so she naturally asked for it.
-
-"Where did you think of going for lunch?"
-
-To her surprise he burst out violently: "Lunch be damned! You'll have
-lunch by yourself in future."
-
-"What's the matter? What have I done?" she asked, placably enough.
-
-"I've found you out, that's all."
-
-Not another word could she extract from him until they were in the flat.
-Coaxing and gentleness only made him more morose. She began to feel
-afraid. What she could not see, because she did not know that the stage
-had lost quite a convincingly bombastic actor in Woolf, was that much of
-his anger was assumed; nor did she know that he was spoiling for a
-quarrel and that he had found a very good handle upon which to hang one.
-So blinded was she by her devotion that, except for the fact that since
-his return she had seen less of him than usual, she had not observed a
-certain weariness in his manner toward her. She did not at all know
-what he meant by saying he had found her out. Hoping to placate him by
-a show of affection she made an attempt to kiss him. But he repulsed
-her.
-
-"I've had enough of that," he scowled. "It's all shammed, and it comes
-easy to you, my girl. I was up here half-an-hour ago and I saw your
-dressing-case."
-
-"Well," she rejoined, "you've seen it before, haven't you?"
-
-"Not with a sheet of headed notepaper sticking out of it--Purton Towers,
-that swine Chalfont's place!"
-
-Maggy's face cleared. She thought she knew now what the storm portended
-and how to weather it.
-
-"Oh, is that all?" she said lightly. "I took it to wrap my toothbrush
-in, you goose! I was going to tell you about it all, but I forgot
-because I was so happy at having you back."
-
-"A likely story! You expect me to believe you forgot to admit you've
-been carrying on with Chalfont!"
-
-"Oh, Fred!" she cried, horrified at the allegation.
-
-"Well, let's have your expurgated version of it."
-
-"I went there for Christmas with Lexie. And the Honorable Mrs.
-Pardiston, his aunt, was there too. We went to church, and there was a
-Christmas tree and a children's party. It was all quite proper and
-perfectly glorious. Lord Chalfont wouldn't do anything that was
-underhand."
-
-"Of course you're bound to say that for your own sake. Look here,
-Maggy, you needn't tell me lies. I won't swallow them. You know
-perfectly well that if I'd known he'd asked you down to his rotten place
-I'd have stopped your going."
-
-"I did think of that, Fred," she admitted; "but then I knew there was no
-harm in it, and if I hadn't gone Lexie wouldn't have been able to,
-either; and I wasn't looking forward to spending Christmas alone here.
-No flesh and blood girl could resist a square invitation like that. Why
-didn't you take me abroad with you if you couldn't trust me? I haven't
-asked you questions about where you've been or what you did while you
-were away. Besides, if it comes to that, husbands and wives often pay
-visits apart."
-
-"Do you consider yourself particularly qualified to give an opinion
-about the habits of married people?" he sneered.
-
-"That's a caddish thing to fling in my face," she cried indignantly.
-
-Woolf flinched a little under her flashing eyes.
-
-"This quarrel's getting vulgar," he retorted uneasily.
-
-"It's of your making. Look me in the face, Fred, and you'll see I
-couldn't tell you a lie. Look at me, please."
-
-He did so reluctantly.
-
-"On my solemnest word of honor, on my awful love for you," she said with
-terrible earnestness, "I swear to you, Fred, that never once have I been
-unfaithful to you, even in thought."
-
-"Never seen Chalfont in town, I suppose?" It was a chance shot, but
-Woolf saw that it had struck home. "Oh, so you have!" he followed up
-quickly. "Well--upon my word! That means, before I went away."
-
-"Yes. You shan't say I'm deceiving you. I went to him to borrow some
-diamonds for Lexie."
-
-The astonishing avowal staggered him.
-
-"That's a pretty admission!" he laughed satirically. "Gentlemen are not
-in the habit of lending girls diamonds for nothing!"
-
-"Oh, what do you know what _gentlemen_ do?" she retorted, losing control
-of her temper.
-
-Had she deliberately tried to wound his self-esteem she could have
-chosen no better way. Inadvertently she had touched on the raw. Woolf
-would not have admitted it for the world, but deep down in his
-consciousness he knew that he was not a gentleman and had no pretensions
-to be called one. What galled him more than all was that Maggy, whose
-status would have been considered a grade lower than his own, must have
-detected the social difference between himself and a man like Chalfont.
-Accidentally she found the vulnerable chink in his armor of swagger and
-carefully acquired polish.
-
-"That will do," he said, getting up and flushing darkly. "It's a bit
-too thick when a girl of your class sets up to criticise a man of mine.
-I'm not a gentleman? Very well, that ends it between you and me."
-
-The stark finality of his words and manner made her tremble all over.
-
-"You mean--Oh, my God, Fred, you can't mean you're done with me?"
-
-"That's about it.... You've got nothing to complain of. You'll be
-better off with Chalfont."
-
-She ran to him and held him.
-
-"You can't believe there's anything like that," she cried piteously.
-"Why, he wouldn't look at me--not in that way. He knows I belong to
-you. If he thinks of me at all it's as he would of the little East-end
-children that people take down into the country for a day. He's a lord
-and I'm just common Maggy, and he condescended to be kind to me.
-Believe me, Fred, believe me, or I--I shall die. I can't live without
-you. You know I can't!"
-
-Woolf did believe her. Although he hated Chalfont and his
-exclusiveness, which had once been the means of humbling him, he knew
-well enough that because of that very exclusiveness he would be
-punctilious in his attitude toward Maggy. He did not make the mistake
-of comparing Maggy's position with that of Mrs. Lambert. The latter was
-a woman of some social standing, separated from her husband. What did
-genuinely enrage Woolf was that Chalfont should be so contemptuous of
-his, Woolf's, relations with Maggy that he could be friendly with her in
-spite of them. It meant that he was ignored. It was inconceivable to
-him that Chalfont's attitude toward her was largely dictated by a
-touching respect for her personality, and pity that she should be
-associated with such a man as himself.
-
-"Don't make a scene," was his unmoved rejoinder. "We can settle things
-quite quietly if you'll be sensible."
-
-Maggy felt a fierce desire to scream and laugh and cry and so break her
-nightmare by noise. The cataclysm had come upon her so suddenly; the
-break seemed so imminent; her hold over Woolf so frail. She seemed to
-have held him by a thread and that thread had now snapped. Her
-sensation was one of absolute shipwreck. She experienced the very
-paralysis of actual drowning, the throbbing of pulses in her head, the
-suffocation in her throat, the sense of being entirely submerged. And
-just as the drowning person is said to survey the past with startling
-clearness so she now had a rapid mental vista of her brief season of
-love and the desolation that would follow it if Woolf meant what he
-said.
-
-"I'm _not_ sensible," she pleaded. "You can't give me up for such a
-little thing as that. Oh, you're cruel, cruel!"
-
-"If you're going to be hysterical I shan't stop."
-
-His unrelenting manner had a steadying effect on her. Tortured, but
-silent, she stared at him. Could this be the man whom she had been able
-to soften and cajole with a mere pose of her body; the man who had taken
-possession of her with such controlling ardor that she was oblivious of
-the very details of her capitulation; the man whom she had loved with
-such devastating vehemence? She could see by the utterly unmoved
-expression of his face that it was impossible to stir his pity. There
-might be a bare chance of exciting his passion, but a new-born delicacy
-of feeling in her prevented an appeal to that side of his nature. She
-made a strong effort to keep a hold on herself.
-
-"I won't be hysterical," she said. "But--I can't understand why you're
-going on like this. You loved me before you went abroad. What has
-happened since?"
-
-His eyes shifted from her face.
-
-"What has happened since?" she repeated.
-
-Woolf would not answer her. He got up and went to her little inlaid
-bureau, picked up a pen, squared his elbows and began writing something.
-Quivering with emotion, her breast heaving, her breath coming in gasping
-sobs, she stood where she was, incurious as to what he was doing.
-Presently he turned, and placed a piece of paper on the table.
-
-"You can stay on here till the end of the quarter," he said. "After
-that I shall sublet it. And here"--he pushed the paper toward her--"is
-a little present for you."
-
-She took a stumbling step toward him, arms outstretched, her poor face
-working.
-
-"Fred! Don't go!" she shrieked.
-
-But he had got to the door. He would go. Nothing she could say or do
-would stop him. She had just enough presence of mind left not to follow
-him. Even in that moment of distress she had the sublime unselfishness
-to refrain from making a scene beyond the privacy of the flat--on his
-account.
-
-She tottered back to the table, clutching at it for support, stared down
-at the slip of paper he had left there--paper with a pretty lacy
-pattern, and read:
-
-"_Pay to_ Miss Delamere ... _or order_ Twenty-five pounds."
-
-The words danced before her eyes like little black mocking devils....
-_Twenty-five pounds_! The price which Woolf thought sufficient to buy
-her off!
-
-Mad now, she scrawled her name on the back of the cheque, caught up her
-hat and ran downstairs into the street. At the corner there generally
-stood a miserable woman with a baby, selling flowers. She was there
-now. Maggy was a regular customer of hers. She thrust the cheque upon
-her.
-
-"It's signed on the back. Take it--oh, take it!" she said wildly,
-closed the dumfounded woman's fingers on the cheque, and sped on.
-
-She went fast, walking aimlessly, conscious of nothing but the desire
-for movement. She wanted to lose herself, to forget herself. Of the
-things around her she saw nothing, heard nothing. Her processes of
-thought seemed to be exhausted. Her brain was a mere reservoir of utter
-hopelessness.
-
-Yet, all the while, it was insensibly driving her in a given direction.
-In a dull way she realized this when she found herself in the street
-where Woolf lived. She had never been there since the day of that
-eventful lunch with him, seven months ago. The memory of it had a
-clarifying effect on her troubled mind. It calmed her frenzy. She asked
-herself what she meant to do, but could find no answer. She had not
-consciously intended going to his house. All motive for doing so was
-absent. Yet she could not pass it.
-
-She rang the bell, and when the door was opened enquired for Woolf.
-
-"Mr. Woolf is not in, miss," said the servant; "but Lady Susan is, if
-you would like to see her."
-
-Maggy, still mentally benumbed, entered and followed her.
-
-
-
-
- XLII
-
-
-The room Maggy was shown into was occupied by a woman of about
-twenty-seven, busy at the telephone. She looked up casually, keeping
-the receiver at her ear.
-
-"Take a pew," she said, and addressed herself to the instrument again,
-continuing a momentarily interrupted conversation.
-
-It was spirited, and apparently had to do with a bookmaker, for it
-involved a "pony" on this and a "pony" on that and a "tenner both ways"
-on something else. Several sporting papers, one of them _The Jockey's
-Weekly_ owned by Woolf, lay on the table at her elbow, with
-"Weatherby's" to keep them company.
-
-Maggy did not sit down as invited. There was something about the woman
-at the telephone that gave her a mental stimulus, almost put her on the
-defensive. All her torpidity left her. The other went on speaking into
-the instrument, interspersing her instructions with slang and
-stable-talk. She was untidily dressed in clothes of an accentuated
-sporting cut. Maggy, catching sight of herself in a mirror, twitched
-her hat straight, turned her back and powdered her nose. Then she stood
-still, waiting for eventualities.
-
-With an "All right, see you on Thursday. Cheer-O," the woman rang off
-and swung round in her chair, bestowing on Maggy a hard-eyed scrutiny.
-
-"Don't think I know you, do I?" she asked. "And that half-baked woman of
-mine didn't announce your name."
-
-"Come to think of it I don't know yours," returned Maggy, instinctively
-full of a sense of antagonism. "She said something about Mr. Woolf
-being out and Lady Susan in."
-
-"That's right. My name's Susan.... Have a drink?"
-
-Maggy, flabbergasted, said, "No, thank you." She was puzzling her mind
-to account for this young woman's presence in Woolf's house when it
-suddenly occurred to her that there could only be one explanation of it.
-"You seem to be at home here," she remarked.
-
-"That's rather cool," the other laughed. "I _am_ at home. Who the
-deuce d'you think I am?"
-
-"I haven't an idea. All I know is, you said your name was Susan, and
-the maid said you were a lady."
-
-This rather wicked thrust only called forth another laugh, curiously
-unresentful.
-
-"Oh, well, if you want the whole of it, I'm Lady Susan Woolf, sister of
-the Earl of Cantire." Without a trace of _mauvaise honte_ the speaker
-went on, "You've heard of us, I should think: the hottest lot in the
-peerage."
-
-Maggy's blank look showed that she was still at fault.
-
-"But what relation--" she began.
-
-"I'm Mr. Woolf's wife," cut in that lady. "Are you--the other woman?"
-
-A quiver, not unlike that which vibrates through a ship when it runs on
-a sunken rock, convulsed Maggy. Like a stricken ship she seemed to hear
-the waters of desolation rushing through her vitals. But she kept her
-nerve. She would go down, if she had to, with band playing and flags
-flying, so to speak. Not to this woman, who was regarding her with lazy
-indifference, would she show the white feather, admit defeat or
-desertion. But Fred secretly married! ... He had lied to get away on
-his honeymoon ... and then come back to her after it! ... The rank
-infidelity of it ... to two women at once. All Maggy's womanhood was up
-in arms, outraged.
-
-"You use rather odd language," she said with dreadful calm. "I think I
-must have come to the wrong house."
-
-"Well, if you came to see Fred Woolf he lives here--when he's in."
-Again the low, lazy laugh accompanied the rejoinder.
-
-"Do I amuse you?" asked Maggy.
-
-"No, not you personally. You look too dashed serious. Drawing room
-melodrama sort of expression. The situation's a bit quaint. Not many
-wives would take it calmly when their husband's pasts come knocking at
-their front door and walking in without being asked. _I_ don't care.
-Daresay some of my old flames will flicker up now and then. I'm
-easy-going because it pays. But, honestly, I hope Fred hasn't left you
-on the mat?"
-
-The question was quite devoid of offense.
-
-"I said I must have come to the wrong house," reiterated Maggy. "I've
-only been in this street once before, and I wasn't sure of the number."
-
-"This photograph tell you anything?" Lady Susan passed one across.
-"It's Fred's. I think I hear his gentle footfall in the hall, so you'll
-know how things are in a minute."
-
-Maggy braced herself to look at the silver-framed portrait. She had a
-facsimile of it at the flat on the side-table by her bed, signed "Your
-warm friend." This one was similarly inscribed. Evidently Woolf
-followed a routine in such matters.
-
-She heard his step outside and his voice calling "Susan, where are you?"
-but she did not look up when he opened the door. Only Lady Susan saw
-his startled glance of recognition. It confirmed what she had already
-guessed. She watched the two of them with the zest she would have given
-to a prize fight.
-
-Maggy took her eyes from the photograph and set it down on the table so
-that from where he stood Woolf could see that it was his.
-
-"No. I don't know that--gentleman," she said with calm incisiveness.
-And then, as if she had only just become aware of his presence, looked
-straight at him. The absence of all recognition in that look was quite
-perfectly done. With her eyes still on him she moved to the door and
-paused there.
-
-And then she addressed him in the tone one adopts toward a person who
-exhibits a lack of ordinary manners.
-
-"Will you please open the door?"
-
-She passed out, band playing, flags flying.
-
-
-
-
- XLIII
-
-
-Somewhere about three o'clock Maggy got back to her flat. She was as
-calm as death, and knew exactly what she had to do. In her nature there
-were few complexities: intuition guided her most of the time. Now she
-simply did not want to live. She was not only heart-broken because of
-Woolf's desertion but utterly crushed in spirit at having discovered
-that every foolish ideal with which she had endowed him had had no
-existence except in her imagination. That reflection made her despise
-herself as much as she despised him. If the breach could have occurred
-without such callous perfidy on his part, she might still have retained
-her self-respect. How much more preferable that would have been, even
-though it meant she might have gone on loving him.
-
-How she had loved him! She had poured out to him all the passionate
-first-love of an exceedingly ardent nature; she had gloried in him,
-suffered for him. She had been content with an illicit position, even
-to the extent of refraining from urging him to legitimize their union
-when there was a reason for it--one that would have stirred the
-compassion of any other man. She had not thought herself good enough to
-be his wife, because, in effect if not in direct words, he had told her
-so. She saw him now as he really was, an unutterable cad, despicable,
-utterly snobbish. He had married with the sole object of associating
-himself with a titled family. That it was in bad odor made no
-difference to him. To hear the announcement or to read in print of "Mr.
-Woolf and the Lady Susan Woolf" had no doubt been the prevailing factor
-with him. It was clear enough to Maggy. He had not considered her a
-fit wife for himself because she was a chorus-girl, yet he had married a
-woman infinitely more common in the slangy sister of a decadent peer.
-
-And all the time he had been contemplating this marriage she had made a
-jest of it, teasing him about a honeymoon abroad, unwittingly joking
-about the terrible truth! To think of it was gall and wormwood. She
-had trusted the man. Her own honesty had made her assume that he was
-incapable of deception. Conformity with the easy code of honor which
-men generally adhere to, even in an irregular union, was all she had
-expected. It had been denied her.
-
-She was filled with a distaste for life. It could be so simply ended.
-There was a bottle of laudanum in the cupboard over her washstand.
-Without any hesitation she poured its contents into a tumbler and drank
-it off. It tasted so nasty that she ate a chocolate afterwards. Then
-she locked her door and lay down on her bed. Nothing in the world
-mattered now, not even Alexandra. She was too weary to think of her,
-even to analyze what she believed to be her own last sensations.
-Mentally exhausted she fell asleep.
-
-She slept from half-past three until half-past nine, woke up suddenly
-and felt horribly ill. Her memory was quite clear. She remembered
-everything that had happened that day and what she had done, and
-wondered whether she was dead. A dreadful nausea and discomfort left her
-in doubt. Presently she decided she was not dead but wished she were.
-She dragged herself to her feet and, obeying instinct, made herself an
-emetic. Though she did not wish to live she wanted to put an end to her
-appalling sensations. Later on, she drank two cups of strong black
-coffee, and soon after knew she was recovering. She must have taken
-either too little or too much of the horrid stuff.
-
-She lay back, waiting for its nauseating effect to wear off.
-Half-an-hour passed inertly. Then abruptly her mind went to Alexandra,
-and she sat up. Lexie was on the verge of taking the reckless step
-which she, Maggy, had so long been advising, and Lexie must be stopped.
-She gave a hurried look at the clock. Nearly eleven! She might just
-catch her at the theater. She flew downstairs, found a taxi and drove
-there, just too late. Lexie had left a few minutes ago. On her way out
-again she ran up against the stage-manager.
-
-"Hullo, Miss Delamere," he began; "what do you mean by turning up after
-the show? You seem quite indifferent to fines." Then he observed her
-livid face and the dark circles round her eyes. "Why, you look like
-death! What's the matter?"
-
-"Nothing.... Let me go, Mr. Powell. I'll be all right soon. I want to
-find Miss Hersey."
-
-She tore away, jumped into another cab and drove to Sidey Street.
-
-Alexandra was luxuriating in the unwonted extravagance of a fire. That
-and the song she was humming were evidence of a new serenity of mind
-that had come to her. She was leisurely undressing, thinking of her
-impending marriage, when Maggy burst into the room, a Maggy whom she
-scarcely recognized. She had not been much concerned at her absence
-from the theater that night. She so often played truant.
-
-Maggy reeled toward her. Alexandra caught her in her arms.
-
-"Darling, what is it?" she cried in alarm.
-
-Maggy clung to her like a terrified child.
-
-"Lexie," she gasped, "am I too late? Am I too late? You haven't--Oh,
-my God! Lexie, it isn't worth it. Men--"
-
-And then she fainted. Alexandra got her on to the bed, loosened her
-things, and called for Mrs. Bell. Together they managed to get a little
-brandy between her lips. The landlady dabbed her face with a wet towel;
-Alexandra held smelling salts to her nose, and presently she drew the
-reluctant breath of returning consciousness.
-
-"Please go now," Alexandra requested Mrs. Bell. "I'll look after her.
-She shall stay with me to-night."
-
-Mrs. Bell protested that she wanted to stop. Her _penchant_ for any form
-of illness enchained her. She argued that she might be needed, and only
-reluctantly left the room when Maggy opened her eyes and murmured a
-request to be alone with her friend. She lay with her face against
-Alexandra's shoulder, and then began to cry, weakly but uncontrollably.
-
-"Lexie, I've been through Hell since I left you," she sobbed. "Suddenly
-I remembered you and rushed to the theater and then on here. You
-mustn't! Promise me you won't!"
-
-"Never mind me, dear. Something has upset you. Won't you tell me? I
-shall understand better then."
-
-"Fred's left me," said Maggy in a cracked voice. "He's married! ...
-Never trust a man, Lexie! Never trust a man! Keep straight if you
-starve for it. Promise me you won't go off like I did. I've come to
-_make_ you promise."
-
-Pity kept Alexandra silent. To make that promise would involve an
-avowal of her own happiness. How could she do that in face of the
-misery in which her poor friend was sunk?
-
-Maggy clutched at her hand.
-
-"A ring!" she cried, fearfully. "On that finger--!"
-
-"Oh, hush, dear! I--I'm quite safe. Believe me, Maggy."
-
-"But what does it mean? You wouldn't wear a ring on that finger if--"
-
-"Maggy, darling, it means that I'm going to be married."
-
-Maggy sat up the better to look at her. One glance at Alexandra's
-clear, illumined face told her that in some wondrously blest way her
-future had been happily arranged. All thought of her own disaster
-temporarily vanished in the joy she felt for the safety of her friend.
-
-"That's all right," she said with a sigh of relief. "Lexie ... have you
-got anything to eat?"
-
-
-
-
- XLIV
-
-
-Although she had eaten nothing since breakfast that morning, a few
-biscuits and the remainder of Mrs. Bell's brandy sufficed Maggy.
-
-"Now I'll go," she said, getting up. "I was in a fearful state about
-you, but now that everything has turned out so splendidly I feel quite
-all right again. Bless your sweet face, Lexie. I'd like to kiss you
-only I'm such a bad creature." Her lips trembled.
-
-"Nonsense! Then I'll kiss you." Alexandra did so. "You're not going
-to-night, Maggy. You've got to stay here with me. We'll tuck in
-together. Here's a nightie."
-
-"Tuck in--with you!" Maggy repeated. "But, Lexie--I'm not--like you."
-
-"Nothing that's happened can make any difference between us, Maggy. Try
-and forget you ever left me. Get undressed, dear."
-
-Very soon they were lying together in the little bed in the darkness.
-Alexandra did not talk. She wanted Maggy to get to sleep. It was so
-evident that she needed it. Half-an-hour passed in silence. A whisper
-from Maggy broke it.
-
-"Asleep, Lexie?"
-
-"No, dear."
-
-"Have you enough room?"
-
-"Heaps."
-
-"May I have your hand to hold, Lexie? I feel so lonely."
-
-"You poor pet!" Alexandra's hand sought hers.
-
-"Lexie ... may I tell you things?"
-
-"Yes, if it helps."
-
-"I don't think anything ever will help. I'm done for, Lexie."
-
-"You won't always feel like that," was the consoling rejoinder.
-
-Maggy sat up in bed.
-
-"I tried to kill myself to-day," she said abruptly. "But the stuff only
-made me sick. That's why I wasn't at the theater. I should be dead by
-now if it had worked properly."
-
-"Maggy!"
-
-"Yes, I did. How could I go on living? It's not worth it. Alone
-again: a room like this without even you to make it bearable ... or men.
-I won't do that. I went to the bad for love. I won't do it out of
-habit."
-
-"Don't be so despondent. You won't have to live alone, dear. You shall
-leave the stage and be with me."
-
-"Is it likely?" asked Maggy, with a touch of her old independence. "I
-wouldn't tell anybody but you, but I gave Fred more than he gave me.
-It's the meanness of it all that hurts so. There was the flat, I know,
-and the car; but they were only mine so long as he wanted me. And I
-paid for the meals I had in the place out of my salary. He gave me money
-for dresses because he liked me showy, but I went to sales and bought
-bargains, and what I saved that way I spent on him. And all the time I
-gave love, love, love! Oceans of it! Let me go on. Then, just before
-you went on tour I knew I was going to have a baby. Lexie, I longed for
-it! I think I'm the sort of woman that's meant to have babies without
-much pain or trouble, just for the sheer joy of mothering them and
-kissing their dear, pink, crumply palms. But Fred was annoyed about it.
-I told him he could put me in a laborer's cottage in the country and I'd
-live on ten shillings a week if only he would let me be a mother. Mrs.
-Lambert knew. I told her.... I had to go to a dreadful place in
-Bayswater until--until it was over.... Fred arranged everything. He
-seemed to know all about it. And I wasn't even a mother, Lexie. I
-nearly died. I wish I had. And when I was back again with Fred,
-instead of hating him it somehow made me feel more than ever bound up
-with him in my heart, because of having gone through so much for him.
-He was quite kind to me afterwards, almost tender for him. He used to
-bring me flowers. I wonder why. He couldn't have loved me.... But now
-it's all over...."
-
-Alexandra put her arms round the shaking girl.
-
-"Lie still," she said.
-
-She held Maggy to her as she would have held a child, and kissed her and
-cried over her in sheer pity, so stirred was she by the heartrending
-story. Presently Maggy lay very still, breathing evenly, asleep in
-Alexandra's arms. But Alexandra lay awake for a long time, trying to
-find a reason for the discrepancies of life. Why, for her, should there
-be provided a haven of safety, and for Maggy nothing but a desolate sea
-with breakers ahead?
-
-Mutely, she prayed to the Providence that had tided her over so many
-storms to safeguard Maggy until she, too, made harbor in calm and
-peaceful waters. Praying, she feel asleep and did not stir when, some
-hours later, Maggy awoke and gently disengaged herself from the
-encircling arm.
-
-Maggy sat up. By the light of the street lamps she could just make out
-Alexandra's peaceful face. She looked so happy and innocent. Maggy
-watched her for a long time very fondly. It was the only way in which
-she could bid her farewell, a long and final one. For Maggy intended
-making no mistake this time. She had dreamt of what she meant to do.
-The dream had been inspired by the noises in the street, and it still
-obsessed her. The thunder of heavy wheels resounded in her ears.... She
-was going to employ a monster crushing power to blot herself out.
-
-Very quietly and silently she got out of bed and groped for her clothes.
-Dressed, she hovered for a moment over Alexandra's sleeping form, bent
-and touched her forehead with her lips ... and crept out in search of
-her Juggernaut car.
-
-
-
-
- XLV
-
-
-Maggy intended making for Covent Garden. She had once seen it in the
-early hours after a fancy-dress ball to which Woolf had taken her, and
-she had marked the leviathan motor-lorries, freighted with perishable
-produce, converging on it. She meant to end her troubles under the
-wheels of one of these. The drug had failed her because of her
-ignorance of the fatal dose. This would be a sure and decisive way. In
-her dream it had seemed so feasible.
-
-There would be something fitting in such an end. The very monstrousness
-of the ponderous vehicle was symbolical of the violence of the feeling
-that she had had for Woolf, the strength of passion that had drawn her
-to him. Her spirit had succumbed to strength and violence: strength and
-violence should annihilate her body.
-
-The deserted streets were very silent. Maggy wandered along them,
-insensibly diverging from her route. She was thinking dully of a scene
-that long ago had made a dreadful impression on her mind. It had been a
-disconnected incident at the time: now its significance was almost
-personal. She had once seen a number of dogs pursuing a small mongrel,
-typical of the ownerless cur that gets its living in the streets. It
-was looking over its shoulder, heedless of the traffic. A motor-lorry
-came along at top speed. The mongrel made an unexpected dart across its
-track. There was an agonizing yelp, suddenly cut short; and though
-Maggy had quickly averted her eyes she had not been able to avoid
-witnessing the canine tragedy.
-
-A shudder went through her at the recollection of it, a shudder of pity
-for the dog, not of apprehension for herself. She was too wretched to
-feel fear; but she was very weary and to some extent stupefied. When,
-therefore, she found herself in Portland Place instead of Covent Garden
-she was indifferent at having wandered in the wrong direction. She
-hardly met a soul. It was too late for night-prowlers and still too
-early for those who steal a march upon the day's work. An occasional
-policeman was all she came across. One flashed his lantern in her face,
-but satisfied by the serious look on it and her appearance generally,
-took no further notice of her.
-
-It seemed to her that she had been walking interminably before the
-silence of the streets was broken by any sound of traffic. She had
-crossed the top of Regent Street, gone on due west by Cavendish Square
-and Wigmore Street, and was now in one of the turnings that give on
-Great Cumberland Place. At the corner a lighted doorway and an awning
-over the pavement told of a dance in progress. One or two carriages and
-a motor car were drawn up before the house. She did not look up as she
-passed it, but she slackened her pace when it was behind her, for she
-had heard the sound of a heavy vehicle. A slowly-moving van drawn by
-horses lumbered across the top of the turning. There surely she would
-find her _coup de grace_!
-
-She stood in Great Cumberland Place, listening. The faint rumble of the
-morning traffic coming along Edgware and Bayswater Roads was audible
-now. Presently it was silenced by a nearer sound, the reverberation of
-machinery. It was coming at last. She kept on the edge of the pavement
-waiting and listening, trying to discern the advancing monster. The
-clank and rattle of it filled the wide street with stridulous echoes.
-She moved into the roadway, telling herself that she must make no
-mistake, give it no chance of avoiding her. She stood still, nerving
-herself for the moment of impact. It was very close now; its noise
-deafened her; a breath of hot metal filled her nostrils....
-
-_Now!_
-
-She stood poised, her body bent forward ready for the spring; and at
-that moment a heavy hand fell on her, jerked her roughly back and held
-her while the motor-lorry thundered by.
-
-"Let me go!" she muttered thickly, pulling ineffectually against a
-uniformed arm.
-
-"No, that I shan't," was the firm rejoinder. "Trying to do for yourself,
-eh?"
-
-"I was crossing the road," she gasped, maddened by this second defeat.
-
-The stars in their courses seemed to be fighting against her. Why
-should they prevent her taking her worthless life? And now, to add to
-her inflictions, she was in the grip of a policeman. She would be
-charged, cautioned, watched, so that another attempt would be well-nigh
-impossible. Besides, she wanted to make it now, while the madness was
-upon her.
-
-"Crossing the road," she repeated. "Here comes a gentleman. He must
-have seen me. He'll believe me, if you won't."
-
-She said it to gain time, in the hope that the policeman would relax his
-hold, so that she might run away. But though he took her suggestion, he
-gave her no chance of escaping.
-
-"Beg pardon, sir, did you witness this young lady step off the pavement
-sudden-like in front of that there lorry?" he inquired.
-
-The pedestrian, thus addressed, came to a stop. Maggy stared at him.
-The street lamp at the corner was behind him. But while she stared a
-motor car slipped past, the beam of its headlights full on his face, and
-she caught her breath as their eyes met--hers and Chalfont's. He was
-clearly too astonished to speak.
-
-"He--the constable--thinks I was going to commit suicide, I believe,"
-said Maggy, conjuring up a laugh that made Chalfont shiver. "It's
-fortunate you came along, Lord Chalfont. Please assure him I'm much too
-level-headed to do anything like that. I--I'm on my way home."
-
-No part of her statement convinced him, but he took care that neither
-she nor the policeman should see that.
-
-"So am I," he said in the most ordinary tone. "This lady is a friend of
-mine, constable. Here's my card. You've erred a little on the side of
-discretion, but that's excusable considering how dark it is. I'll see
-her home myself. Good morning."
-
-The policeman looked at the card and then touched his hat.
-
-"Very well, m'lord. I apologize to the young lady for the mistake. At
-this hour of the night if we're not very careful--"
-
-"That's all right," said Chalfont.
-
-He took Maggy's arm, holding it almost as tightly as the policeman had
-done, and walked her on in the direction of the Marble Arch.
-
-"Thank you," she said in a subdued tone when they had gone a dozen
-paces. "Now I can manage to--to go on by myself."
-
-"I don't think so," he rejoined sternly. "What are you doing, wandering
-about at this time of night?"
-
-"I--I might as well ask you the same question."
-
-"I can answer it. I have just left a friend's house--a late
-affair--fortunately for you."
-
-"Why fortunately for me?" she asked, trying to assume an air of innocent
-resentment. "You're making too much fuss about a mistake in crossing the
-street."
-
-He stopped, still holding her, compelling her to look at him.
-
-"Maggy, are you going to tell me lies?"
-
-"No," she choked, lowering her head.
-
-"Then--" Chalfont did not proceed with what he was about to say. A
-taxi was passing and he hailed it. "I'll take you to your flat," he
-said.
-
-"No, not there! I'm never going there again!" she cried, drawing back.
-
-That she had some potent reason for that decision was evident to him.
-He did not ask her what it was. He guessed it.
-
-"In that case," he said, "you must come to my house. I'm not going to
-leave you."
-
-His determined tone put a stop to her spirit of rebelliousness.
-Passively she got into the cab and sat silent in its obscurity. When it
-stopped Chalfont opened his door with a latchkey. His servants had gone
-to bed, but in the room where Maggy had breakfasted with him there were
-sandwiches and consomme. He helped her to some of this, and she, beyond
-resistance now, took it. Then she shrank into the depths of the big
-chair which he had drawn up to the fire for her. She was unconscious of
-the tears of weakness that were welling from her eyes. Her hair had
-come down and was tumbled over her shoulders. Emotion had played havoc
-with her face.
-
-Chalfont, watching her, was stirred by feelings that had their birth in
-pity. If they were gathering force, changing into others more personal,
-more tender, there was nothing of disloyalty to the memory of the dead
-woman on whom he had once lavished great affection.
-
-"Maggy," he said quietly, "he has left you."
-
-She lifted heavy eyes.
-
-"How--how did you know?"
-
-"I thought it would come."
-
-A dry sob broke from her. Then she said: "He really was on his
-honeymoon.... Did you know?"
-
-"No. But a few days ago I heard something.... I knew he was very thick
-with Cantire. I saw it coming."
-
-"Why didn't you tell me?"
-
-"How could I?"
-
-"No; I see.... I had to find out for myself.... Well, it's finished
-now." She stared blankly in front of her.
-
-"Do you care so terribly?" he asked, after a pause.
-
-She shook her head. "That's dead, I think. Everything's dead except
-myself, and I want to be. I can't stand it: the hardness--and the
-loneliness."
-
-"I thought you were brave."
-
-"Not when I don't want to be."
-
-"I'm lonely too," he said; "but I haven't turned my back on life, partly
-because your advice helped me when I was feeling very down. Don't you
-think suicide is rather a craven thing?"
-
-"Perhaps.... I shall have to go on living now, I suppose," she admitted
-dully. "Oh, damn that policeman! I should have been pulp by this time!
-That's the second failure. I took laudanum this afternoon, and was only
-sick."
-
-Chalfont went over to her chair, sat on its arm-rest and took one of her
-hands.
-
-"Don't you think we have something in common?" he said, and waited for a
-reply that should warrant him speaking more definitely.
-
-She rested her head against his shoulder like one who is spent.
-
-"You make me feel peaceful," she murmured. "I wish you would give me
-some poison and let me die while you held me."
-
-"You tragic person!" He tried to speak lightly. "You'll laugh at
-yourself, later on.... I want you to live."
-
-"I'll live," she consented. "It's only a matter of breathing."
-
-"You must promise me that--and something else."
-
-"All right. What's the else?" Her voice was unutterably tired.
-
-"Everything, in effect. I'm not good at explaining, but, first of all,
-I want you to understand that I honor you."
-
-Maggy sat bolt upright. Two fierce spots of color came into her cheeks.
-
-"Also," he continued, "that from the beginning, ever since I first met
-you, even when you made that admission about--him, I always thought of
-you apart from him, as Maggy--the nice girl."
-
-"Maggy--the nice girl!" she echoed in wonder.
-
-"When you came down to Purton Towers I seemed to see you as belonging
-there. Even after you had gone I felt that."
-
-"But--how could I belong to Purton Towers?" she asked in a wondering
-voice.
-
-"By marrying me," he said very deliberately.
-
-She looked at him blankly for a few seconds.
-
-"Marry you!" she faltered. "_Me_--marry you?"
-
-"Suppose," he went on, "suppose I said I needed you? I do say it. I
-believe that we can bring something into each other's lives that at
-present is missing, and perhaps always has been. We should, at any rate,
-be very perfect friends. That would be something."
-
-All her face lit up. Her lips quivered.
-
-"What an idea! Me and you! At breakfast, at dinner--always.... Purton
-Towers, and me--your wife! Oh, you dear, I do believe you mean it! As
-if I could! But I tell you what: let me live in a little cottage in the
-grounds and sell eggs!"
-
-"Oh, Maggy, you child!" he said tenderly.
-
-Her eyes brimmed over. She took his hand and kissed it.
-
-"Thank you so much," she said. "But it's--it's not in the picture.
-What sort of a wife should I make? No, it wouldn't do.... And there
-are other reasons."
-
-"Ada Lambert?" he asked gently. "Is that one of them? I loved her as a
-young man loves the first good woman who comes into his life. I don't
-think I do her any disloyalty."
-
-"No, it's not that. What difference could that make? If I could I
-would make you happy because you lost her. It's me. I don't come from
-a good man. I wouldn't let any one say that except myself. I loathe
-what he's done to me and the way he's treated me. But I've loved him.
-There's something I gave him I can never get back. It's strange: though
-I never want to hear of him or see him again, I don't want anything bad
-to happen to him. I should be sorry."
-
-"I understand," nodded Chalfont. "But it need not stand between you and
-me, Maggy. We should start fair."
-
-The ghost of a smile flickered on her lips.
-
-"Think of the racket there would be in the papers about us! You would
-be ashamed. And I'm not worth it, really. 'Another peer weds actress.
-Romance of the stage. The third this season. Below we append other
-instances of brilliant marriages of stage beauties.' Think of it!"
-
-"I fancy we could keep it out of the papers," he said. "We would be
-married in the country--in church."
-
-"In church!" Her eyes grew misty. "You would--go to church with me?
-Oh, my dear, that would be more of my dream coming true, like the cedar
-trees and the cows!"
-
-"It's going to come true," declared Chalfont.
-
-She held him away from her.
-
-"Don't tempt me. It's not the title. That's only--funny. Me, my lady!
-What tempts me is the thought of being with you in that place where my
-heart is."
-
-"My home?"
-
-She nodded, appeared to be considering.
-
-"There is this," she said. "If I married you I would do my best to try
-and be a lady--not vulgar. I think, after a little, it would come
-easy.... You said we should be perfect friends; but suppose--suppose I
-couldn't help loving you?"
-
-"I was asking myself if that would come about--hoping it. In my case it
-is an eventuality not very remote."
-
-His very quietness impressed her. She knew he was not demonstrative,
-yet behind every word he spoke the intensity of his feelings was
-manifest to her. She had to fight hard to keep in check the ferment of
-emotion he had stirred in her. She picked up her hat from the chair
-where she had been sitting on it.
-
-"It might have been more crushed," she said quaintly, but with a meaning
-that had a hint of tragedy averted in it. She went to a mirror and
-began arranging her tumbled hair. "I must go back to Lexie. I stole
-out while she was asleep. Perhaps I shall get there before she wakes
-up."
-
-"I'll take you," he said. "Only--aren't you going to give me an answer
-first, Maggy?"
-
-She made a last desperate and unsuccessful effort at calmness.
-
-"Yes--but I'm not worth having," she sobbed and collapsed in a crumpled
-heap at his feet. "Don't stop me!" she gasped, waving him away. "Let
-me--_burst_!"
-
-And Chalfont stood where he was, waiting while her pent-up feelings
-exhausted themselves in a flood of choking tears, until she should be
-ready for him. Presently her sobs ceased. She struggled to her knees;
-her hands were clasped; her face, with a faint presage of happiness upon
-it, was turned to the window where the dawn of a new morning glimmered.
-Her lips moved. She was murmuring something beneath her breath. "What
-are you saying, dear?" he asked gently. "I--I think I'm saying my
-prayers," she answered huskily.
-
-There, on her knees, with her hair still hanging in disorder, the tears
-drying on her face, thanksgiving and humility in her heart, she repeated
-the words of her rhymed creed, with a reverence that surely gave it the
-consecration of a prayer.
-
- "All's well with the world, my friend,
- And there isn't an ache that lasts;
- All troubles will have an end,
- And the rain and the bitter blasts.
- There is sleep when the evil is done,
- There's substance beneath the foam;
- And the bully old yellow sun will shine
- Till the cows come home!"
-
-
-She held out her arms to Chalfont.
-
-"Lift me up," she whispered.
-
-
-
-
-
-
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