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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42168 ***
+
+Note: Images of the original pages are available through
+      Internet Archive/American Libraries. See
+      http://archive.org/details/pittowncoronetfa02will
+
+
+      Project Gutenberg has the other two volumes of this work.
+      Volume I: see http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42167
+      Volume III: see http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42169
+
+
+
+
+
+THE PIT TOWN CORONET:
+
+A Family Mystery.
+
+by
+
+CHARLES J. WILLS,
+
+Author of
+"In the Land of the Lion and Sun," etc.
+
+In Three Volumes.
+
+VOL. II.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Ward and Downey,
+12, York Street, Covent Garden, London, W.C.
+1888
+
+[The right of translation is reserved, and the Dramatic Copyright
+protected.]
+
+Printed by
+Kelly and Co., Gate Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields, W.C.;
+and Middle Mill, Kingston-on-Thames.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+  CHAP.                                    PAGE
+
+     I.--A HORRIBLE SCANDAL                   1
+
+    II.--AT THE PARSONAGE                    27
+
+   III.--HOW THEY CAME HOME                  51
+
+    IV.--THE RETURN OF THE WANDERER          73
+
+     V.--THE MISSES SLEEK DROP IN            94
+
+    VI.--THE SLEEKS IN ARCADIA              117
+
+   VII.--HAGGARD COMES INTO HIS OWN         138
+
+  VIII.--THE VICAR TRIES PUFFIN             167
+
+    IX.--MR. PUFFIN HUNTS A BUTTERFLY       190
+
+     X.--A RATHER SHADY CHARACTER           213
+
+    XI.--ESAU WAS THE FIRSTBORN             236
+
+   XII.--IN ST. JOHN'S WOOD                 276
+
+
+
+
+  THE PIT TOWN CORONET.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER I.
+
+  A HORRIBLE SCANDAL.
+
+
+Dull as the life of the little château on the lake necessarily was, yet
+Georgie Haggard did not suffer from _ennui_. She seemed in fact to
+rather revel in the quietude, and to luxuriate in the seclusion of the
+Swiss villa, after the fatigues and excitements of a busy London season
+and the turmoil and the incidental worries which must always attend an
+extended foreign tour, even when it is taken for pleasure, and when
+expense is no object. The position of the villa was sufficiently
+romantic; behind it were the snow-covered Alps, Mont Blanc always
+clearly visible; and all in front stretched the lake with its glorious
+blue water of that intense azure which is only seen on this Geneva lake.
+Why it should be so very blue is, and always will be, a mystery; of
+course it has been explained by scientific people in various manners
+satisfactory to themselves, but the fact remains that the lake is of a
+deeper blue than any other European water, and strange to say the
+intense colour is just as apparent in the shallowest parts. One may row
+over a place not more than a yard deep, where the bottom is clearly
+perceptible, but the waters are as blue as ever, a deep unnatural
+ultramarine blue, a blue which is seen only here and in the choicest
+specimens of the Oriental turquoise.
+
+The establishment at the Villa Lambert consisted of the permanent staff
+of the place, the aged Savoyard and his wife, who spoke an abominable
+and unintelligible patois; these two people were the Gibeonites of the
+villa. At earliest dawn the pair rose and toiled till an hour after
+sunset. The man worked in the garden, broke the firewood, drew water
+from the well, attended to the ponies, and wore the face of a martyr.
+The woman got through the labours of four ordinary English servants, she
+was cook, housekeeper, housemaid, and an entire staff in herself; she
+spoke to no one save her morose husband and Haggard's polyglot Swiss
+servant; she scrubbed, she polished her numerous brazen pots and pans
+till they shone like mirrors; every particle of woodwork in the house
+was washed and polished by her, till it resembled that seen in the Dutch
+village of Broek. But the great delight of the pair was the waxing and
+polishing of the curious inlaid parquet flooring of the _salon_ which
+looked upon the lake. Lucy Warrender had been considerably surprised
+when she saw this process for the first time. A strange hissing noise,
+which continued for some minutes, gradually diminished in intensity, and
+then ceased altogether, only to recommence with renewed vigour,
+surprised the two girls as they sat at breakfast. "What can it be,
+Georgie?" she remarked in astonishment to her cousin.
+
+"It's in the next room, I think, dear," said the young matron; "but it's
+very easy to see." She opened the door of the _salon_. Husband and wife,
+with portentous gravity, the woman having her skirts well tucked up,
+their arms a-kimbo, were apparently skating up and down the room. To
+them it was evidently a very serious business; they never smiled, but
+the perspiration streamed from their foreheads as they flew up and down.
+A large flat brush was attached to each foot of either. They were
+polishing the floor, and their appearance was sufficiently ludicrous.
+Lucy looked at her cousin; the absurdity of the scene was too much for
+her; she closed the door and laughed till she cried.
+
+Mrs. Haggard's maid was an invaluable servant, who understood her duties
+and never seemed to forget anything. Hephzibah seldom spoke; perhaps,
+like the parrot in the story, she thought the more. The girl was in her
+way religious. That valuable work, once so popular but now so seldom
+seen, "The Dairyman's Daughter," was her only literature, but she seemed
+to be never tired of reading it.
+
+Capt, the valet, was equally quiet in his way, equally dull. He did not
+disdain to manufacture dainty little dishes for his young mistresses. He
+would row them about upon the lake. He was steward, footman, and general
+factotum. He never opened his mouth unless he was spoken to, and between
+him and Hephzibah there appeared to be a good understanding; as the
+reader is aware they were "keeping company."
+
+Georgie and her cousin led quiet uneventful lives. They drove, they
+boated, they wandered in their large garden; but they made no new
+acquaintances, and they lived the lives of hermits. Once a week there
+was some slight excitement as to the arrival of news from the absent
+husband; his letters came with praiseworthy regularity. He had arrived
+safely in Mexico; the value of his property had increased enormously. He
+was in treaty with half-a-dozen persons for the sale of his estates. He
+cursed the delays of the Mexican lawyers, who seemed to do nothing but
+smoke big cigars and swing themselves to sleep all day in hammocks. He
+pathetically bemoaned the unavoidable separation from his dear Georgie.
+He wasn't having a bad time of it, the sport was undeniable. He had had
+a week with a friend at a place with an unpronounceable name. Then he
+described the delights of the opera house, and the great success of the
+new French dancer, Mademoiselle De Bondi. It seemed a pity to close
+finally, when land was going up in value every day, and so on, and so
+on, and he was his dear Georgie's affectionate husband. This was the
+burden of all his communications, one letter was very much like another.
+Haggard was evidently enjoying himself, and his affectionate Georgie,
+though longing for his return, did not grudge him his pleasures.
+
+Strange to say, though by force of circumstances thrown into an eternal
+_tête-à-tête_, the cousins never quarrelled. Georgie read and re-read
+her husband's letters. Lucy devoured one yellow-covered novel after
+another, and time crept slowly on. They had been four months at the
+Swiss villa.
+
+It was the end of August. The two girls, they were but girls, sat on the
+terrace which overhung the lake. The sun was setting, as they sat
+dreamily gazing upon the lovely scene, which had even distracted Lucy's
+attention from the last naturalistic novel, which lay open on her lap.
+As she looked intently at the blue waters of the lake she sighed deeply.
+Georgie turned towards her and was startled to see that her lovely dark
+brown eyes were filled with tears! Georgie placed her arm softly round
+the girl's neck, for she dearly loved her cousin, and gently said, "What
+ails you, darling?"
+
+But Lucy answered never a word, a violent burst of weeping was her only
+reply.
+
+Lucy, never over strong at any time, had lately caused her cousin
+considerable anxiety; womanlike, Lucy fought against the growing
+weakness; till now she had hidden her increasing melancholy under an
+appearance of forced gaiety, which had not deceived her cousin, but only
+increased her alarm.
+
+The elder girl knelt at Lucy's feet--her own Lucy whom she still looked
+upon in her heart as a little child.
+
+"Does anything worry you, darling?" she said.
+
+No answer.
+
+"Trust me, Lucy; we are always friends, let me share this trouble."
+
+"I can't," faltered the girl, as she gnawed her lips, which trembled and
+turned pale; "I think I shall drown myself."
+
+Then Georgie took the blanched hand of the motherless girl, and
+entreated her.
+
+"Do tell me, darling; you must tell me, Lucy. Something is preying on
+your mind; trust me, do trust me, pet."
+
+Not then did Lucy Warrender tell her trouble to her cousin. But that
+night, unwillingly and ungraciously enough, she told her grief. Pale as
+a ghost, her fingers intertwined in a convulsive grip, she knelt by her
+cousin's bed and told her shameful story. She made her pitiful appeal.
+With dilated eyes, Georgina listened in terror to Lucy's confidence. It
+was the old tale. Lucy was about to become a mother; this was all she
+told. Was it not enough? She looked imploringly up at her cousin as she
+whispered:
+
+"You can save me, Georgie, if you will--if you love me, as I know you
+do; and if you won't, there is nothing left for me but the lake, the
+cold, cruel lake." Here she laughed hysterically, and nestled to her
+cousin's breast.
+
+The elder girl was struck dumb. The shame of it, the bitter shame of
+this accursed thing.
+
+There was a silence, only broken by the monotonous ticking of the
+carved Swiss clock and the deep sobs of the kneeling girl. There was a
+sudden whiz of spinning wheels--"Cuckoo! cuckoo!" screamed the little
+painted bird derisively, as he appeared for an instant from his tiny box
+to mark the hour. Both girls started at the inauspicious interruption.
+
+"I save you, my darling! How can I save you? And father, poor father.
+Oh, Lucy! how could you--how could you so deceive us all? But _he_ must
+be sent for--who is the man? He must marry you--he will marry you, of
+course, at once, _this gentleman_!"
+
+But Lucy only sobbed the more.
+
+"He will never marry me, Georgie. You can save me, you alone!"
+
+She never named the man.
+
+They talked on far into the night; and as they wept and whispered, the
+painted wooden demon ever and again sprang from his box and startled
+them with his discordant cry,
+
+  "Cuckoo! cuckoo!"
+
+How could she refuse? Much against her will at last she yielded; she
+agreed to deceive the absent husband who trusted her--that heartless
+husband whom she idolized. From that day forward the sound of a cuckoo
+clock--the voice of the bird himself, as she heard him in the
+woods--sounded in her ear as the cry of a mocking devil. Little did she
+dream that, in weakly yielding to her cousin's piteous entreaty, she was
+sowing the seed of which she and hers should reap the bitter harvest.
+
+What could she do, poor girl? She felt it was her duty. Who can tell if
+she erred? If so, it was on mercy's side. Next morning Lucy was herself
+again; she was once more the buoyant, merry girl, who smiled and
+chattered, and sang her little scraps of French songs, making the
+sunshine of the house. The _rôles_ were changed. Never again shall the
+light of perfect happiness beam in Georgie Haggard's once honest
+eyes--those eyes now red with weeping, full of the secret sorrow of her
+cousin's bitter confidence. It is always painful to an honourable mind
+to play the part of a conspirator, and that thankless _rôle_ was now
+forced upon poor Georgie--willy-nilly she had to do it. Lucy's fertile
+brain teemed with plan, with plot, with stratagem; certain of ultimately
+conquering the scruples of her gentle and loving cousin, she had
+evidently thought the matter out.
+
+"We ought to trust nobody, you know," said the younger girl, who had
+suddenly assumed the management of everything. Startled and horrified,
+Georgie had become in regard to her cousin, that born intriguer, but as
+clay in the hands of the potter. "No, we ought not to, but we must. If
+ever a girl in this world could keep her tongue between her teeth, it's
+that pale Hephzibah of ours, and trust her we must, there's nothing else
+for it."
+
+Lucy's tongue, once loosed, never seemed to tire. Her despondency and
+melancholy, her load of carking care, were all transferred as by the
+wave of a magician's wand to her cousin's shoulders. Alas! that cousin,
+that patient, loving cousin is perhaps destined to carry to her grave
+the fardel of another's weakness, the punishment of a worthless woman's
+fault.
+
+Georgie, from that hour, was a changed girl. No more the once happy,
+loving eyes gazed on the younger girl with more than a mother's pride.
+From that day Georgie feared her cousin, and Lucy soon detected the new
+sentiment which she had unexpectedly inspired. The younger dictated, the
+elder acquiesced.
+
+"Georgie," she once suddenly said, when they were alone together on the
+little platform which hung over the blue waters of the lake, "swear to
+me that you will never betray my secret." She clutched her cousin's hand
+with fierce insistance and stamped her little foot; "swear to me," she
+said in a hoarse whisper, "that never by word or letter you will reveal
+my secret--_our_ secret," she added with a smile. If ever a pretty
+woman's smile was devilish, Lucy Warrender's was, as she insisted on
+this partnership in her guilt.
+
+"Have I ever deceived you, Lucy, that you should want me to swear?"
+
+"But you shall swear, Georgie," she reiterated almost savagely. "I have
+gone too far to hesitate at trifles now, and if you don't, you will
+never see me more," she added menacingly, as she pointed to the lake.
+Her little figure seemed to increase in height, so sternly determined
+was her aspect.
+
+Georgie cowered in mingled anxiety and horror.
+
+"Swear to me," she said, and she emphasized the command, for it was no
+longer an entreaty, by a fierce clutch at her cousin's wrist, "never to
+a soul till the day of your death will you breathe a word of it.
+Swear."
+
+"I do swear it, Lucy," replied the dominated victim, and she buried her
+face in her hands.
+
+The next day the two English ladies left the Villa Lambert in an open
+carriage.
+
+The faithful Capt was told to be ready for their return in a few days'
+time. Considerably to his astonishment, he did not accompany them. As
+the carriage drove away the valet lighted one of those long and
+peculiarly nasty cigars which his countrymen seem so much to enjoy. He
+stood watching the carriage rapt in meditation, and his face wore a
+puzzled air. Then he did what no economic Switzer has probably done
+before or since--he actually flung away the still burning abomination.
+Then he spat upon the ground, and with an exaggerated shrug of his
+shoulders re-entered the house.
+
+The carriage took the ladies and their maid to a small town, some
+twelve miles off. They put up at the hotel. Next morning they took
+tickets by the steamer to Geneva, but less than half-way they got out at
+a small village, Auray, a little place totally devoid of interest, a
+mere hamlet never visited by the tourist; here they took a lodging,
+humble enough, but clean, in the house of a well-to-do widow. It was
+from this lodging that Georgie posted a letter containing the following
+advertisement, which appeared in the _Times_:
+
+    "At the Villa Lambert, Canton of Geneva, Switzerland, the wife
+    of Reginald Haggard, Esq., of a son. August 20, 18--."
+
+The cousins exchanged _rôles_. Lucy became Madame Haggard, while Georgie
+was addressed by the discreet Hephzibah as Mademoiselle Warrender.
+
+The whole thing had evidently been carefully planned by Lucy for some
+time previously. She had even with infinite art written numerous letters
+to their relatives and friends, in which she dilated upon the strange
+reticence of "dear Georgie" as to the whole matter. Needless to say
+these letters were all dated from the Villa Lambert. In her letter to
+Haggard, and in her more formal communication to the head of the family,
+the old earl at Walls End Castle, she explained how her cousin had kept
+the whole matter secret as a surprise for her husband; and how she, the
+guileless Lucy, had been unwillingly compelled to participate in the
+deception. All was thus satisfactorily explained as the whim of the
+young wife.
+
+How she had purchased the silence of the invaluable maid it is difficult
+to say, whether by bribes, promises or cajolery; but Hephzibah Wallis
+was the servant of the Warrenders, born and bred on their land, discreet
+and silent.
+
+In ten days they returned to the villa, Mrs. Haggard wrapped up as a
+young convalescent mother; the little bastard clothed in purple and fine
+linen as became his expectations as Reginald Haggard's heir. Georgie
+was pale, great black rings surrounded her eyes; she leant heavily on
+the arm of the invaluable Capt, as she stepped out of the carriage which
+had conveyed her from the nearest wharf. But Lucy's cheery laugh, though
+it failed to bring a smile to the face of her cousin, soon dominated the
+inhabitants of the Villa Lambert. Hephzibah, full of that added dignity
+which every woman assumes as the guardian of an infant, sat enthroned
+before a blazing fire, for in Switzerland in August the evenings are
+chilly. It was her custom never to address Mr. Capt, save on official
+matters, when a third person was present. On the present occasion she
+went further than this, for she declined even to answer him.
+
+Capt had bustled about, had brought in the luggage, had handed their
+letters to his mistresses, had received the thanks of Miss Lucy
+Warrender for his tasteful floral decoration of the little _salon_, and
+had then suddenly subsided into an attitude of respectful admiration in
+front of Haggard's supposed heir. To no man or male person, save perhaps
+to their own fathers or their medical attendants, are very young infants
+objects of interest; we may therefore safely presume that Mr. Capt was
+either really wrapped up in the severe charms of the student of the
+"Dairyman's Daughter," or that he had some occult and ulterior reason
+for remaining to study the little group at the fireside.
+
+"Ah, madame," exclaimed the major-domo, as he washed his hands in the
+air, "you will not think it a liberty when I respectfully felicitate
+you." But no answering smile appeared on Mrs. Haggard's face.
+
+"Certainly not," burst in the younger girl; "you are the first of our
+friends to do so, Capt," she said, with an almost perceptible emphasis
+on the word; "but we are both of us knocked up with the bustle, so get
+us some tea at once."
+
+The humbly sympathizing friend became once more the respectful servant,
+and hurried away to carry out his young mistress's behest.
+
+"Rouse yourself, Georgie," exclaimed the younger girl impatiently, "you
+really look very little like the mother of a possible heir to an
+earldom," she maliciously added.
+
+But Georgie made no reply to her cousin's taunt, she merely extended her
+colourless hands towards the blazing fire of logs.
+
+A pile of letters lay upon the table; one by one Lucy's active fingers
+tore them open, one by one she read them to her silent cousin,
+enlivening them with a running fire of comment. As she read each one
+aloud, she planted a fresh dagger in her cousin's heart, but she went
+steadily on with an occupation which seemed congenial.
+
+They were the usual formal congratulations for the most part: one, from
+the old squire, gently blamed his daughter for not having taken her
+father into her confidence; "but the ways of women, my dear, are
+mysterious, and I suppose that explains it." As Lucy read the words the
+tears ran down her cousin's face.
+
+One other letter yet remained; it was addressed in a crabbed hand; its
+contents were as follows:
+
+                    "Walls End Castle.
+
+    "MY DEAR CHILD,
+
+    "Miss Warrender's letter has quite taken me by surprise; I had
+    not the slightest inkling that I should have so soon to
+    congratulate you both on the happy event. It gives me great
+    pleasure to do so; though I have known you, my dear, for so
+    short a time, you have inspired me with feelings of the
+    liveliest affection. I need not say I am greatly gratified to
+    hear that it is a little boy. The great terror of my old age,
+    the not unremote possibility of the extinction of my house,
+    which always preyed upon my mind, is now removed. I shall hope
+    to welcome the little man here ere long, and with affectionate
+    remembrance to your cousin,
+
+            "I am, my dear child,
+                "Yours affectionately,
+                    "PIT TOWN."
+
+The ladies had retired for the night. A heavy mist hung over the lake,
+but a red spark moved slowly up and down the little terrace in front of
+the Villa Lambert; the spark indicated the presence of Mr. Capt, who was
+awaiting with lover-like impatience the arrival of the discreet
+Hephzibah. At length she appeared, muffled in a heavy shawl.
+
+"Have done, do, Capt," said the maiden with indignation, as the valet
+imprinted a salute on her pallid lips.
+
+"I haven't commenced, my beloved, yet," retorted he. "Will it be an
+indiscretion to hope that Miss Hephzibah has enjoyed herself, and that
+the separation from her beloved Maurice has produced ever so slight a
+depression?" said he as he attempted to take her hand.
+
+"Stuff," replied the Englishwoman with an indignant snort.
+
+Here the conversation took a distinctly amatory turn, and would probably
+hardly interest the reader. But, under the influences of the blind god,
+the stern student of the "Dairyman's Daughter" seemed to thaw. She took
+the proffered arm of her adorer, and, like all women in love, seemed to
+derive a pleasure from the peculiarly pungent aroma of his cigar.
+
+"And how did we pass our time, my Hephzibah; did we amuse ourselves?
+Have you nothing to tell me, my beloved, nothing to _confide_ to me?"
+
+The lady's maid shook her head. "Except that I've been worked off my
+legs as you may suppose, what can I have to tell you?"
+
+"Ah!" remarked the valet. "I can fancy that my Hephzibah always fulfils
+her duties to her mistress, but perhaps my too perfect angel forgets
+that between betrothed persons there should be no secrets."
+
+"You don't mean to say you're jealous, Capt?" she exclaimed, as she
+raised her face to his.
+
+"My love, you are discretion itself; I know you never betray a secret."
+
+"If I had one, Capt, _you_ would worm it out of me," she said with a
+smile and a perceptible pressure on his arm.
+
+"Yes, my love, I _should_ worm it out," he replied with intention.
+
+Hephzibah took no notice of this remark.
+
+"The mist is very damp, and I am very tired, Maurice; I must be going
+in; my mistress will wonder what has become of me, so good-night."
+
+The valet kissed the girl. "Good-bye, my love," he said. "I think you
+had better have trusted me. Good-bye."
+
+"Good-night, or good-bye, if you prefer it, Mr. Capt," replied the
+lady's maid with dignity.
+
+"Good-bye, my dear, good-bye, _till we meet again_."
+
+Hephzibah hurried into the house.
+
+The valet continued his walk up and down the little terrace; he was
+immersed in thought, he still smoked his cigar, but unconsciously; he
+was suddenly roused from his reflections by the fire almost touching his
+lips. With a curse, he flung the end into the waters, and watched it
+disappear with a hiss. Then he walked briskly into the house.
+
+The next morning Mr. Capt had disappeared. There was nothing wrong with
+the plate. On the carefully arranged breakfast table lay an envelope
+directed to Mrs. Haggard; it contained the man's account book, balanced
+to a farthing; a small sum of money due from him to his mistress, and
+his keys.
+
+"What does he mean by this?" said Lucy to her cousin.
+
+Mrs. Haggard made no answer, but turning to Hephzibah, she said coldly,
+"Where is Capt?"
+
+"Please, ma'am, I don't know; he's taken his things with him, and I
+think he is gone. I hope there is nothing wrong," said the girl, her
+pale face working with suppressed emotion.
+
+Then Mrs. Haggard fainted.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER II.
+
+  AT THE PARSONAGE.
+
+
+In King's Warren Parsonage the vicar's wife was seated at her little
+table. Before her was a handsome service of _real_ Queen Anne plate; the
+square-looking teapot with its solid ebony handle, and the bowl and jug
+to match, for in those days they were sugar bowls and not sugar basins.
+Mrs. Dodd was not alone; she had two visitors, old Mrs. Wurzel and her
+inseparable companion, Miss Grains. The tea was good and strong, the
+cream perfection; all three ladies were in the best of temper. As a rule
+even the most cantankerous women are placable after afternoon tea. No
+man had ever partaken of Mrs. Dodd's tea in her own peculiar sanctum;
+that honour was reserved for those of her own sex, her cronies, her
+fellow-workers. In this little room the village scandals were threshed
+out, in this room the female scholars of the Sunday school received what
+Mrs. Dodd was pleased to call a few words of advice and admonition. What
+the mysterious advice was that Mrs. Dodd imparted, who can tell? One
+thing is certain, as they left the Vicarage they always wept, all save
+Jemima Ann Blogg the defiant; she alone had shed no tears.
+
+"It's very sad," said the vicar's wife, "but I don't think any other
+course is open to me. I never looked upon Hephzibah Wallis as flighty;
+in fact, she was undoubtedly the steadiest of all my girls. It's really
+enough to break the old mother's heart. Why they should always want to
+go out of service and into matrimony I can't think; but I suppose they
+are all the same; but this is the climax. The creature actually declares
+that she has engaged herself to a foreigner."
+
+The eyes of the other two members of the council of three were raised
+in mingled astonishment and horror.
+
+"Yes, it's too true," continued the vicaress; "but I shall not hesitate
+in my duty, which is plain: she must be saved from the foreigner and
+herself. I'll read you her letter.
+
+                    "'Villa Lambert.
+
+    "'DEAR MOTHER,
+
+    "'You will be glad to hear that we are all well. We are living
+    in what they call a villa, and though I like quiet the life is
+    very dull. All through our travels Mr. Capt, who, as you know,
+    is Mr. Haggard's own man, has been very attentive to me; he has
+    asked me to marry him. I think it only right, dear mother, to
+    consult you and father before saying yes. I should tell you that
+    we are much attached to each other. Mr. Capt is very
+    respectable, and very clever, too, for a foreigner. He is a
+    Swiss gentleman. I'm sure you would like to hear him talk,
+    though he's sometimes rather difficult to understand, as he uses
+    so many dictionary words. I suppose it will have to be a long
+    engagement, for, as you know, service is no heritage, and we are
+    both in service. What Mr. Capt wishes me to do is to be married
+    to him here at once, which he says would be much nicer than
+    being engaged; but I don't think it would be right to keep it
+    from mistress, as she has been so kind. Please let me have an
+    answer by return, as Mr. Capt is very anxious. Give my love to
+    father, and hoping this finds you both well,
+
+            "'I am,
+                "'Your loving daughter,
+                    "'HEPHZIBAH WALLIS.'"
+
+"Poor thing," exclaimed the stout Miss Grains, for she felt a ready
+sympathy, as an engaged young woman, with the whole of the rest of her
+sex who were in a similar position.
+
+"Poor thing, indeed," cried the vicaress, "shameless thing, I call her;
+a girl who has been educated under my own eyes, who was actually
+confirmed in this very parish, calmly proposes to degrade herself, her
+parents and me by secretly marrying a disgusting foreigner, for
+foreigners are disgusting, as a rule. I shall forbid it, I shall
+distinctly forbid it; it's a duty I owe to dear Georgie. I am
+disappointed in Hephzibah Wallis."
+
+"I'm afraid, Mrs. Dodd, it will be difficult to save the girl; here we
+are in King's Warren, while she is in Switzerland, and no doubt the man
+makes love to her," insinuated Mrs. Wurzel.
+
+"Ah, yes," said the brewer's daughter softly, as she thought of her own
+little flirtation with the sallow French master, whose classes she had
+attended.
+
+"They may be fascinating," said Mrs. Wurzel spitefully, "but they always
+smell of tobacco and never cut their nails."
+
+Alas! the accusation was too true as regards the French master, at all
+events, and the brewer's daughter was temporarily extinguished.
+
+"To a person in the position of Hephzibah Wallis," said the vicar's wife
+magisterially, "the length of their nails is of little importance; it's
+their want of principle that I object to; as for this creature Capt,
+like the rest of them he is, I suppose, an atheist, or perhaps worse, a
+Papist, for when he was here with his master he never once came inside
+the church. Goody Wallis has asked me to write to her, and I shall
+certainly do so at once, distinctly forbidding it. I haven't mentioned
+the matter to Anastatia, for she is so weak and romantic that she's
+quite capable of writing herself to the girl and inciting her to
+rebellion."
+
+Here she carefully folded the letter and replaced it in her writing
+desk.
+
+"And your sister-in-law's own affair, dear Mrs. Dodd, is it an
+indiscretion to ask you if it is settled yet?" said old Mrs. Wurzel with
+sympathetic interest.
+
+"Stacey Dodd, Mrs. Wurzel, is, I regret to say, of a secretive nature;
+she does not confide in me. No, her own sister-in-law is the last person
+whom she would trust. But I believe, mind I do not state it as a fact,
+but I have reason to believe that she has refused the squire; his age
+was an obstacle, you know, and then Lucy would have been a difficulty. I
+don't think it would quite have been a bed of roses; that girl would
+have been a very serious responsibility indeed."
+
+A discreet tap was heard at the door.
+
+The vicar never presumed to enter his wife's room without knocking; he
+evidently had something to communicate. He saluted the ladies and
+commenced his tale at once.
+
+"A dreadful thing has happened. I have just returned from The Warren,
+where I left the squire in a natural state of violent indignation."
+
+The ladies expressed their curiosity.
+
+The portly vicar continued:
+
+"Oh, there's no secret about it, the country is ringing with it."
+
+Then he read the paragraph in _The Sphere_, with which the reader is
+acquainted.
+
+"Then, Mr. Dodd, we may understand that Georgina is the wife of a
+murderer," said Mrs. Dodd.
+
+"Well, my dear, not exactly that; you see they say he received great
+provocation, so he was bound to go out with him, I suppose."
+
+"Then my husband, a beneficed clergyman of the Church of England,
+approves of duelling, and is actually the champion of the--the--the
+assassin."
+
+The vicar's wife was fond of strong words; this was the strongest one
+she knew of, so she used it.
+
+"Well, but, my dear, consider the circumstances."
+
+"No circumstances can excuse a murder, Mr. Dodd. I hope he won't come
+here; don't let him dare to offer me his blood-stained hand; his mere
+presence would be enough to contaminate the whole village. Will they
+hang him?" she asked with interest.
+
+"Oh, Mrs. Dodd," said the brewer's daughter, clasping her hands, for the
+thought that she herself had witnessed the marriage of this interesting
+criminal thrilled her very soul.
+
+"Of course she will leave him at once," continued the vicar's wife;
+"were the case my own," she said, "I should not hesitate for an
+instant."
+
+A slight smile rippled across the broad countenance of the vicar;
+perhaps it passed through his mind that were he not a clergyman there
+might yet be a means of escape for him.
+
+"It is of men such as this," cried the indignant vicar's wife, "that
+Shakespeare speaks. Yes," she said clenching her fingers, "every honest
+hand should hold a whip to lash the rascal naked through the world."
+
+"It would be a highly indecent spectacle, my dear," said the vicar with
+a chuckle.
+
+"I am speaking figuratively, Mr. Dodd."
+
+"Of course, my dear, of course. In the meanwhile old Warrender is
+horribly angry, as well he may be."
+
+The ladies' little meeting now broke up. Old Mrs. Wurzel hastened to the
+stationer's to order a copy of _The Sphere_ and all the society papers,
+then, bursting with the news, she proceeded to call upon the Misses
+Sleek to tell her tale.
+
+By midnight every soul in King's Warren was in possession of the fact
+that Georgie Haggard's husband had fought a duel and had killed his man.
+
+The Misses Sleek did not hesitate to express to each other when
+retiring for the night their united opinion that Mrs. Haggard was a very
+lucky girl.
+
+"I always said he was a hero," said the younger sister with a sigh, and
+then she went to sleep to dream of him.
+
+It is a moot question as to who can claim the title of esquire.
+Now a-days everybody is Mr., Mrs., or Miss. But Mrs. Dodd was
+uncompromising; in her mind servants, labourers and criminals should be
+addressed by their Christian and surname, and no more. When she was
+unaware of the name she was accustomed to address all males by the
+epithet "man." There is something very scathing, very exasperating too,
+in being addressed in this way. Had poor Hephzibah herself been actually
+in the flesh at King's Warren, Mrs. Dodd would, undoubtedly, have
+addressed her as "girl;" as it was she merely adopted the Spartan mode
+which is used by judges at a jail delivery. The tone of the judgment,
+for we can hardly call it a letter, will be best seen if given at
+length:
+
+    "HEPHZIBAH WALLIS,
+
+    "Your poor mother came to me in great trouble yesterday bringing
+    with her the flippant, the almost indecent letter, which you had
+    thought proper to send her. Little did I think, Hephzibah
+    Wallis, when I placed in your hands the beautiful copy of the
+    'Dairyman's Daughter,' which I had intended should be your guide
+    through life, and which you afterwards so hypocritically
+    informed me you frequently perused, that I was patronizing a
+    girl who was about to rush headlong to her own destruction. If I
+    remember rightly, the dairyman's daughter was a sickly person
+    like yourself, but _she_ would never have degraded herself by
+    even hinting at an immoral marriage with a foreigner; nor would
+    she have ever dared to propose such an abomination to her own
+    mother as a marriage which should be kept secret from her
+    mistress and from the wife of her parochial clergyman. I shall
+    not, then, shrink, Hephzibah Wallis, from the duty of warning
+    you. Except among the upper classes marriages with foreigners
+    always end in misery; and it is extremely doubtful whether such
+    unions in the eyes of heaven are marriages at all. I have
+    repeatedly pointed out to my girls at the Sunday school, and to
+    you among the number, that no young woman in domestic service
+    should think of entering upon the marriage state till she is
+    past all work. I was pained to see by your letter that you have
+    evidently hardened your heart, and I am aware that the deaf
+    adder will not listen to the voice of the charmer, charm he (or
+    she) never so wisely. I know that you are exposed to the
+    dangerous fascinations of a designing foreign manservant, who,
+    to use your own expression, only addresses you in 'dictionary
+    words;' no doubt such language is apt to turn the head of any
+    young woman. But let me tell you, Hephzibah Wallis, that you
+    will have a far greater chance of happiness in this world, and
+    the next, as the wife of an English deaf mute of high principle,
+    than you would have if married (even in the unlikely contingency
+    of such a marriage turning out to be legal) to any foreigner,
+    however eloquent, who is of course, as all such people are,
+    wholly irreligious.
+
+    "If this letter, as I trust it may, should be the means of
+    softening your heart and so saving you from the ruin to which
+    you are evidently hastening, it will not have been written in
+    vain. I grudge no trouble in the duty that Providence has forced
+    upon me of superintending the lives of any of my girls. You of
+    course are subject to great temptations, but you must never
+    forget your duty to me and to your mistress, particularly now
+    that she (your unhappy mistress) is, as I hear with pain and
+    consternation, the wife of a murderer. I trust that you will
+    frequently read this letter when in doubt or temptation, and
+    that it may be the means of preserving you is the earnest desire
+    of
+
+                "Your well-wisher,
+                    "CECILIA DODD."
+
+Mrs. Dodd posted her letter herself, and to make assurance doubly sure
+she registered it.
+
+When at lunch with her husband she broke to him the fact that she had
+written a letter "full of kind advice," as she phrased it, "to that
+flighty creature, Goody Wallis's daughter."
+
+"It's a troublesome and anxious duty, Mr. Dodd," she said, "to look
+after them all; but I try to shield all my girls from possible harm, and
+this one evidently meditated making a fool of herself."
+
+"You are always judicious, my dear," said the vicar.
+
+"This house and this parish would not be what they are, Mr. Dodd, were
+it not for me."
+
+"My love, I am fully sensible of my great good fortune."
+
+"John," said the vicar's wife as soon as they were alone, "one of us
+ought to write to that poor thing."
+
+"What poor thing, my dear?"
+
+"I mean the squire's unhappy daughter," she said.
+
+"Good heavens, Cecilia, for goodness sake, let her alone."
+
+"Leave her alone in the hour of her tribulation! Mr. Dodd, is that your
+advice as a clergyman, or is it your other entity, the man of the world,
+who speaks?"
+
+"Common prudence, my dear, suggests discretion."
+
+"And who shall listen to the whisper of prudence, when common duty
+speaks so loudly, Mr. Dodd?"
+
+"My dear, 'too many cooks spoil the broth,' is a homely saying."
+
+"A vulgar proverb, Mr. Dodd."
+
+"But full of wisdom, my dear, as are most proverbs. I think there is
+another culinary hint, too, that I remember, 'It is good not to
+introduce one's finger into one's neighbour's pie.'"
+
+"And is the murderer, then, to escape with impunity, Mr. Dodd? Is he to
+have at least no moral punishment; is the indignant finger of outraged
+society not to be pointed at him; is he with impunity to go out to slay
+whomsoever he will; and is there to be no Nemesis for such as he?"
+
+"Oh, as much as you like, my dear; but there's no reason why you should
+personally represent outraged society."
+
+"If I felt it a duty, Mr. Dodd, I should certainly represent outraged
+society, and Nemesis too, if I pleased."
+
+"Of course, my dear, of course, and doubtless _con amore_."
+
+"John!" said the indignant wife.
+
+But the vicar, having fired the last shot in his locker, had fled.
+
+Fortunately Mrs. Dodd's time for the next fortnight was pretty well
+taken up. What with visitors who came to her to ascertain what they
+called the real truth; what with answering the innumerable inquiries of
+her large circle of acquaintance on what was now getting to be known as
+the "Haggard Scandal," Mrs. Dodd was fully occupied. It was a happy
+thing for Georgie; the young wife remained in ignorance of her husband's
+escapade. She was spared the threatened letter of advice and admonition.
+
+Not one word did old Warrender breathe to his daughter of the matter.
+
+The details of the affair however, that is to say of the actual meeting
+itself, were pretty well known in town. General Pepper had no cause for
+reticence. Men who had barely nodded to him before, now amicably grasped
+the warrior's hand, and asked him to the most _recherché_ dinners; and
+his inevitable description of the duel, at dessert, usually formed the
+feature of the evening. Cards of invitation from the most distinguished
+personages rained down upon the fortunate veteran in profusion. Report
+said that he had even lunched with the Commander-in-Chief. His cronies
+at the Pandemonium accused him of assuming an air of habitual arrogance.
+Captain Spotstroke swore that the general had cut him in St. James's
+Street.
+
+But in London the lives of chance lions are short; people began to
+forget the Haggard duel and to cease to long for the presence of General
+Pepper, C.B. Grosvenor Square ceased to invite him to her banquets,
+though he was still a welcome guest in the mansions of Bayswater and
+Maida Vale.
+
+As for Lord Pit Town, he was of the old school. He ascertained, from a
+reliable source of information, that Haggard had not been the aggressor.
+For a gentleman to go out with another gentleman before breakfast, to
+settle their mutual differences, seemed to him the most natural thing in
+life. The faithful Wolff too, as a graduate of a German university, had
+been a fighter of duels in his youth. Wrapped in the bandages, the pads,
+the plastrons, and the guards customary on such occasions, he and the
+other young fellows had pluckily stood up to chop at each others' faces,
+on what those enthusiasts were pleased to term the field of honour.
+Their eternal occupation in the new galleries soon caused Haggard and
+his duel to be forgotten by both, and, save in King's Warren parish
+itself, the whole matter ceased to be remembered.
+
+Perhaps the very last mention of the affair, even there, was made by
+Miss Sleek, upon a rather memorable occasion to her father.
+
+The young ladies at "The Park," notwithstanding their undeniable good
+looks and good temper, had failed to find admirers, at least eligible
+admirers, in King's Warren. Over-dressed young men, generally beaux of
+Capel Court, used to be brought down to stay from Saturday till Monday,
+to beguile the tedium of the girls' lives, by their indulgent papa. But
+the golden youth of the Stock Exchange found little favour in the eyes
+of the Misses Sleek. Generally at the second or third visit the
+gaily-clad young men would propose to one sister or the other, but both
+girls still remained heart-whole, and their father was not over anxious
+to lose them.
+
+"My dears," said he one evening to his daughters, "Dabbler's coming down
+to-morrow. I do want you to be civil to Dabbler."
+
+Now Dabbler was a widower; he was not of prepossessing appearance, and
+his h's troubled him, but Dabbler was a warm man. The Misses Sleek on
+hearing their father's announcement looked at each other in a meaning
+manner; to do them justice, perhaps because they had plenty of money
+themselves, perhaps because they were both rather romantically
+inclined, neither coveted the honour of consoling the unhappy Dabbler
+for his rather recent loss.
+
+"Of course we shall be civil, papa," said the elder girl; "we always are
+civil to Mr. Dabbler."
+
+The father smiled upon his dutiful children and gave no further sign.
+
+On the Saturday Mr. Dabbler arrived. He was very attentive to both
+girls, neither of whom showed any desire to monopolize his society. On
+the Sunday afternoon the conversation turned on the recent duel at Rome.
+The ladies defended Haggard's conduct, while Mr. Dabbler laughed at
+duels and duellists, and stated his conviction that "that fellow Haggard
+deserved to be 'ung." Whereupon both girls were highly indignant; they
+rapturously commended Haggard's valiant behaviour. Unfortunate Dabbler,
+now upon his mettle, declared that "should he ever want satisfaction,
+his solicitor should get it for him."
+
+The girls retorted at once "that in their eyes such a course was
+detestable, that they could never even respect, much less like, any one
+who professed such sentiments."
+
+Dabbler, who had rather hesitated between his partner's daughters, and
+who, in his own mind, had decided that he had but to come, to see and to
+conquer, was a man used to arrive at determinations at once. From that
+instant he made up his mind that neither of the Misses Sleek would
+suitably fill the vacant place at the head of his dining-table.
+
+As the two men went to town on the Monday by the fast morning train,
+Sleek, as he unfolded his _Times_, turned with a smile to his partner.
+
+"Well, Dab," he said, "which is the lucky one?"
+
+"They won't 'ave me, my boy," replied the other philosophically.
+
+"And why not, in the name of common sense, pray?" replied his partner in
+some astonishment.
+
+"Because I'm not a Nero," returned Dabbler with a sigh.
+
+"What?" said Sleek.
+
+"We will not continue this conversation, Mr. Sleek," said Dabbler
+solemnly, and both gentlemen buried themselves in their newspapers.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER III.
+
+  HOW THEY CAME HOME.
+
+
+                 "The Warren,
+                    "May 2nd, 18--.
+
+    "MY DEAR CHILD,
+
+    "Lucy's letter announcing the happy event took me so much by
+    surprise that I could do little more than formally congratulate
+    you. As you say, I gave you no news whatever; to tell you the
+    truth, there was very little to give; but, my dear child, you
+    will have to come home immediately and see how the old man is
+    getting on for yourself. The fact is that I have had a long
+    letter from my friend Pit Town, who is greatly pleased and
+    delighted at the birth of your boy. He alludes, my dear, to the
+    possibility--and unlikelier things have happened--of the little
+    fellow some day coming into his title, and what will go with
+    it--his immense wealth. He suggests, as he delicately puts it,
+    that he should like to see the little chap at once; but, my
+    dear, what he really means is that the little Lucius should be
+    seen in the flesh. When you were managing your little surprise
+    for your husband and me, my dear, you forgot that the little
+    stranger was the direct heir to an earldom, and that though it
+    is exceedingly improbable that my grandchild will ever be a
+    peer, still stranger things have happened. Baby should certainly
+    be in evidence.
+
+    "My old friend Pit Town has written me quite an affectionate
+    letter, and he has succeeded in considerably altering my ideas
+    on the subject of what he calls your husband's peccadillo at
+    Rome. When I was a young man, of course such things were
+    frequent occurrences; but manners are changed now. You will
+    forgive me, my dear, when I say that I think your husband has
+    already sown a sufficiently large crop of wild oats. Let us hope
+    his new responsibilities will sober him; I trust they may. You
+    will hear nothing more on this matter in future, rest assured,
+    nor shall I ever mention it to your husband.
+
+    "Pit Town thinks, and so do I, that you had better come home at
+    once. The old man, my dear, has been very miserable without you
+    both for the last few months; and The Warren has not seemed the
+    same place since its young mistresses have been away.
+
+    "Lucy tells me to give you all the gossip. You will be amused to
+    hear that the vicar's wife goes about declaring that I am on the
+    point of a marriage with Miss Hood. The fact is, my dear, that I
+    might have given you a mother in the form of Miss Anastatia
+    Dodd, and I fear that, by the ladies at the Vicarage, I am
+    looked upon as a designing old man. I need not tell you that I
+    had no idea of paying our dear old friend the very poor
+    compliment of making her an offer of my heart and hand, but Mrs.
+    Dodd will have it that it is so, and as her husband says, it's
+    no use arguing with her. When we meet, the vicar's wife greets
+    me with a snort of indignation. I fear that this is old wives'
+    talk. You will be glad to hear----"
+
+Here, the letter ran off into home matters, interesting enough perhaps
+to the girls, but trifles which in no way concern this history. The old
+man wound up by declaring his intense desire to see both the cousins and
+his "dear grandchild" as soon as possible. He also gave an affectionate
+message from Lord Pit Town asking them both to make an indefinite stay
+at Walls End Castle.
+
+Such was the letter from the old squire that reached the ladies in their
+temporary home upon the Swiss lake.
+
+Somehow or other the maternal _rôle_, which had been so suddenly thrown
+upon Georgina, had become not ungrateful to her. Perhaps she found some
+sort of consolation in lavishing endearments upon the unconscious
+infant, the little Lucius who lay asleep upon her lap. As for his real
+mother, she took very little notice of the child. Whether it was pure
+heartlessness, or whether what had been first policy had now become a
+sort of second nature, it is difficult to say. Lucy had begun by posing
+as the child's aunt, and she played the part to the life. As for
+Georgie, probably the maternal instinct was strongly developed in her;
+it usually is in women who are naturally affectionate; perhaps it began
+in pity, but it was very evident now, both to her cousin and to
+Hephzibah Wallis, that young Mrs. Haggard was excessively fond of the
+little child of shame. Suddenly placed in her extraordinary position,
+separated from the father whom she loved and the unworthy husband whom
+she idolized, without a friend or confidant, subdued by the master mind
+of her cousin, is it to be wondered at that the young wife would sit for
+hours nursing the unconscious cause of all her woes?
+
+The cousins presented a remarkable contrast. As for Lucy, the flush of
+health was on her cheek, her eyes sparkled with the triumph of her
+recent escape and her delight at the success of her own machinations.
+Her clear voice might be heard ringing through the house as it trilled
+forth the little French _chansons_ of more than dubious propriety that
+she loved so well.
+
+"Don't sulk, Georgie," she would say, and with a laugh she would place
+her hand on her hip and imitating the gesture of Theresa, then still in
+vogue, she would warble:
+
+  "Je suis l'heureuse gardeuse de l'ours."
+
+"Yes, you are a bear, Georgie, and twice as sulky." But Georgie, paler
+than usual, dark rings round her eyes, would lie flaccidly in her lounge
+chair, the infant on her lap, and decline to be galvanized even into
+momentary life by her cousin's taunts or innuendoes. There she would sit
+for hours together, gazing into space, the silent victim of another's
+fault. Why did she not rebel? Why did she not insist on informing her
+husband at least of her cousin's lapse, of her ignoble stratagem?
+Probably because she was too conscientious. With some few people
+truth-telling is a sort of religion, a kind of Obi, a fetish; so it was
+with young Mrs. Haggard. She had promised, nay she had sworn. A voice,
+more awful than that of the Veiled Prophet, ever cried in her ear, "Thy
+oath, thy oath." Deception, so hateful to her truthful soul, she was
+compelled to carry on even against her trusting husband. Many a time and
+oft had she pleaded, with tears, to the remorseless girl who looked so
+soft and yielding. But the tender lines of Lucy's voluptuous figure
+covered a marble heart.
+
+"Reginald would never betray you, darling," she had said. "He would do
+anything for my sake, for us and for this poor little thing." Here her
+eyes filled with tears as she kissed the unconscious infant in her
+arms.
+
+"It's no use, Georgie, you've promised, and I shan't release you. You
+are a most interesting young mother. You look the part; there is a sort
+of matronly dignity about you, Georgie, that I could never hope to
+attain. Don't plague me," she continued. "As for telling Reginald or any
+soul alive, I'd die first; and mind you I mean it, it's no idle talk. If
+you ever should be so cruel as to tell my secret, our secret--if you
+should dare to tell it, even to hint it, Georgie"--and here the lovely
+eyes seemed to scintillate with suppressed fury--"you would bid good-bye
+to me, at all events in this world," and then she would go off into a
+half hysterical laugh.
+
+At first scenes such as these were frequent, but Georgie gradually
+ceased to plead. She had reluctantly now accepted her position, and
+recognized her cousin's determination as immutable.
+
+Lucy had read her uncle's letter aloud, eagerly breaking the seal; for
+her cousin had drifted into a state of listless apathy, a kind of dull
+indifference, from which even a letter from her much-loved father failed
+to rouse her. No look of interest, no answering smile lit up her once
+bright features as Lucy read the letter, interlarding it, as was her
+way, with a running fire of comment. When she came to the invitation to
+the Castle she could not restrain the exuberance of her delight, but
+clapped her hands in girlish glee.
+
+"I see fresh triumphs, Georgie," she said, "with my prophetic eye. You
+will complete your subjugation of the old lord, and the philosophic Dr.
+Wolff will certainly propose to me. As for the heirs, they shall all
+sigh in chorus, from Lord Hetton to your father-in-law. But it is you
+who ought to be troubled by the suitors, patient Penelope that you are.
+I suppose uncle's letter must be taken as a royal mandate, and that we
+must leave here at once. I shan't be sorry to leave this place; there
+have been no sunny memories of foreign lands for us here, have there,
+Georgie?" she said, with some little show of affection, as she placed
+her hand upon her cousin's shoulder. But young Mrs. Haggard shrank from
+her touch with an almost imperceptible shudder.
+
+Since Mr. Capt's mysterious departure from the Villa Lambert things had
+not gone on so pleasantly as under the reign of that invaluable
+domestic. Lucy Warrender at least had missed the thousand and one
+delicate attentions of the valet. The various little appetizing
+kickshaws that he was in the habit of concocting for the delectation of
+his young mistresses had disappeared. The living rooms and the table
+service no longer presented the attractive appearance they had done
+under his superintendence. But worst of all, Hephzibah Wallis distinctly
+sulked; no other word will express the condition of that love-lorn maid.
+Bereft of her admirer, her study of that depressing masterpiece, "The
+Dairyman's Daughter," became more intense; her very presence was a kind
+of blight as she silently performed her duties in her usual mechanical
+way. Never over strong, the loss of her lover was painfully apparent in
+Hephzibah's appearance: her muddy complexion became almost ghastly in
+its sallowness, and her pale lips grew almost colourless. That the girl
+was ill was very evident, but the fact did not seem to dawn upon Mrs.
+Haggard, whilst Lucy Warrender, who was in the habit of looking upon
+servants very much as pieces of furniture which could be replaced when
+worn out, troubled herself very little about the matter.
+
+Miss Warrender, now the master-spirit of the establishment, did not
+hesitate. She answered her uncle's letter announcing their immediate
+departure for The Warren. As she playfully put it: "We must hurry home,
+uncle, or Miss Hood will devour you, body and bones; but we must travel
+by easy stages as Georgie seems not over strong, and we must be careful
+with baby. As for Hephzibah I have no patience with her; but people of
+her class are always helpless."
+
+Two days afterwards they were on their way home. Travelling is not such
+a very fatiguing process after all. The ladies, the baby and the maid
+had a compartment of the sleeping car to themselves and journeyed
+comfortably enough. They arrived safely at their hotel in the Rue de la
+Paix, and then Hephzibah Wallis broke down. Tired as she was herself,
+Georgie Haggard nursed her like a sister; all night long she sat by the
+girl's bedside and watched the movements of the pale lips, which seemed
+to be eternally attempting to articulate, but though the lips moved
+ceaselessly no sound came from them. The maid's condition alarmed Mrs.
+Haggard; there was evidently something more than mere fatigue; great
+beads of perspiration stood on the forehead, the hands were cold as ice
+and seemed to pick irritably and aimlessly at the coverlid. Gradually
+the mutterings of the sick girl became louder.
+
+Georgie attempted to rouse her, but in vain; she placed her ear to her
+moving lips.
+
+"It's no use, Maurice, you'll get nothing out of me." This was all she
+heard, and it was evident to her mind that in her delirium Hephzibah was
+holding an imaginary conversation with her faithless lover.
+
+All through the long weary night Georgie Haggard continued her watch by
+the bedside, moistening the girl's lips with water and wetting her
+burning forehead with Eau de Cologne. In the next room Lucy Warrender
+slept peacefully, and ever and anon her cousin would enter to take an
+anxious glance at the sleeping infant. The maternal instinct, which had
+so strangely remained dormant in the child's real mother, was abnormally
+developed, as we have said, in Georgie Haggard. At dawn, as Mrs. Haggard
+turned down the gas and admitted a little of the cold, cruel, grey
+light of early morning, she became thoroughly alarmed at the appearance
+of her patient; still the ever-restless fingers continued to search for
+the invisible crumbs, but they were colder now, and the finger tips were
+almost blue. Georgie hurriedly rang the bell. After some time a
+half-dressed chambermaid appeared. A messenger was dispatched in haste
+to summon a doctor. Lucy Warrender, very much against the grain, had
+left her couch and, head and shoulders muffled in a shawl, stood gazing
+at the dying woman with contracted brow. It was evident to both girls
+that a terrible change had come over Hephzibah Wallis; the lips no
+longer moved, but were strained tightly over the teeth, which were
+painfully apparent; while the breathing, which though rapid had
+previously been tranquil, was now harsh, extremely loud and often
+interrupted.
+
+And now a doctor hurriedly entered the room. He was a dapper little
+Frenchman and had arrived in evident haste. Bowing to the ladies, he
+gave a perceptible start when he perceived the appearance of his
+patient. Taking his watch from his fob he felt the poor girl's pulse.
+Then he shook his head ominously. Placing a stethoscope over the region
+of the heart, he listened for a few seconds.
+
+"Madame," he said, "I can do nothing; she is beyond all human skill.
+Alas, I fear that in a few moments she will pass away."
+
+Even Lucy Warrender's hard heart was filled with horror.
+
+"Can nothing be done, doctor? can you suggest no remedy? is there really
+no hope for her?" said Mrs. Haggard.
+
+"Alas! no, madame, the mischief has gone too far; it is an old case of
+heart disease. Did she complain of ill health to you?"
+
+"She has never been strong, doctor, and she has had a great deal to
+trouble her lately," said Lucy.
+
+Suddenly, while they were yet speaking, the face of the dying girl
+assumed a placid expression; the lips trembled convulsively and then a
+happy smile gradually appeared. The smile remained, the lips gently
+parted and then the eyes slowly opened, but in them there was no
+speculation, for Hephzibah Wallis had ceased to breathe; she had
+peacefully passed away. The faithful girl was gone, carrying with her
+the carefully guarded secret of her young mistresses.
+
+As the French doctor drew the sheet over the dead girl's face, a ghastly
+smile, almost of satisfaction, might have been seen on Lucy's
+countenance. Both girls sobbed bitterly; but let us do Miss Warrender
+justice, her tears were tears of genuine sorrow, but her grief was
+tempered with a sort of awful content, that now at least her secret was
+buried in the solemn silence of the grave.
+
+The next few days were passed in a sort of melancholy bustle; a letter
+had to be written to break the painful news to the poor old mother at
+King's Warren. Poor Hephzibah was buried, her two young mistresses
+following their faithful servant to the grave.
+
+That night Lucy Warrender stole softly into the empty room. With her own
+hands Miss Warrender carefully went through all the dead girl's little
+possessions, and she removed every letter and paper to her own room.
+Then she locked the door and carefully scrutinized everything, but not
+one scrap of writing did she find which compromised either herself or
+her cousin in the slightest degree. There were a few notes which had
+been written to the girl by her mistresses at odd times, and had been
+carefully treasured by the abigail. There was a little box of carved
+wood which contained a photograph, the likeness of the faithless Capt.
+Lucy cast it into the flames, and from the fire, as it turned and
+twisted like a living thing, the face seemed to glare at her menacingly.
+There was nothing more save the letter from the vicar's wife. Lucy
+perused it with a smile, and crushing it into a ball she tossed it into
+the fire.
+
+Then she returned into the dead girl's room and replaced all that
+remained. Taking a glance at her sleeping cousin, whom her proceedings
+had not disturbed, she herself quietly retired to rest.
+
+Next day the girls were busily employed. From a crowd of applicants they
+had to select a nurse for the little Lucius. Their choice fell upon a
+handsome Norman peasant woman dressed in the becoming, though peculiar,
+costume of her race. She wore the tall white cap of filmy cambric,
+ironed in the elaborate manner with which we are all familiar; she wore
+too a massy pair of gold ear-rings and a heavy gold cross, which
+indicated that her people were well-to-do. Fanchette was evidently a
+paragon of neatness; no spot of dust could be seen on her short dress of
+French merino, or on the little woollen shawl pinned closely over her
+shoulders. She spoke no word of English and seemed rather taciturn;
+the only anxiety she manifested was as to the amount of her
+remuneration. Her references were undeniable. She was the picture of
+health, a magnificent animal.
+
+Probably what most recommended her to the critical mind of Miss
+Warrender was her impassive taciturnity.
+
+Fanchette was installed at once. She expressed her readiness to proceed
+to England, informing the girls that all countries were the same to her
+as she had no relatives and her _homme_ was serving in Algeria.
+
+Nothing detained the party further in Paris, and they prepared to start
+for King's Warren the next day.
+
+A letter from the Parsonage reached them that evening; it was from Mrs.
+Dodd, the vicar's wife.
+
+                    "King's Warren Parsonage.
+
+    "DEAR MISS WARRENDER,
+
+    "On receipt of your letter I hurried over to Goody Wallis's
+    cottage to break to her the sad news of Hephzibah's death.
+    Strange to say it did not take her by surprise; she told me that
+    the girl had been ailing for several years. Of course these
+    things do not affect people of her class to the same extent as
+    educated persons; but it was plain enough that she was much
+    grieved. As you can suppose I did my best to console her. I
+    pointed out to the poor old thing that her daughter had been
+    saved from the degradation of a marriage with a foreign person;
+    strange to say, this appeared to give her no comfort: she did
+    not seem so well disposed as usual to listen to good advice. So
+    I took my leave, lending her a copy of Lawe's 'Serious Call.'
+
+    "Your uncle is quite excited at your approaching arrival, and is
+    burning to see the little Lucius. I suppose, my dear, that this
+    very unusual name has been selected out of compliment to you,
+    but my husband says that he is probably called after the
+    celebrated Irish baronet, the head of the O'Trigger family.
+
+    "I cannot express to you, my dear, my feelings of horror and
+    indignation when I heard of the awful occurrence at Rome.
+    Between ourselves I should think it would be better for all
+    parties, particularly for his poor ill-used wife, if your
+    brother-in-law remained in America. Personally, I regret to say
+    that I shall never be able to receive him again. I'm sorry to
+    add that my husband does not look upon the matter in the same
+    serious light, but he was always frivolous, even for a
+    clergyman.
+
+    "I may tell you that you are both coming back none too soon, for
+    the squire, always a weak-minded man, seems now to be quite
+    under the thumb of Miss Hood. That lady does not hesitate now to
+    give herself airs to which I, for one, will never tamely submit;
+    and I hope your cousin will take steps on her arrival to at once
+    assert her position.
+
+    "With love to Georgie and kind regards from the vicar,
+
+            "I am, dear Miss Warrender,
+                "Affectionately yours,
+                    "CECILIA DODD."
+
+The next morning the sisters were driven with Fanchette and the baby to
+the station of the Northern Railway, and they left for England by the
+tidal train.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER IV.
+
+  THE RETURN OF THE WANDERER.
+
+
+When Georgie was ushered into the state room at The Warren, though she
+was horribly tired, she protested, but all to no purpose.
+
+"It's no use, my dear; the wheels of time never go backwards. You will
+never be Georgie Warrender again, for she has developed into a
+personage--Mrs. Haggard is a personage of consideration." So said Miss
+Hood as she welcomed Georgie to the quarters set apart for her,
+Fanchette and the boy.
+
+Summer is always enjoyable in a country house, and probably it is only
+after an extended absence from England that one can thoroughly
+appreciate the delights of English country life. To both girls the
+change was pleasant, to Lucy especially; the Villa Lambert had been to
+her a very punishment, for there had been no one to talk to. But Lucy
+had found an ally, a mine of information, a fund of amusement, an
+appreciative audience all combined, in her cousin's French _bonne_.
+Naturally the foreigner looked upon England as a veritable land of
+Egypt, a house of bondage; equally naturally, she determined to spoil
+the Egyptians whenever she should have the opportunity. In her mind, as
+is the case with all the working classes in France, the English were
+objects of derision and ridicule, as well as hereditary enemies.
+Fanchette felt very much like a wolf turned loose in a sheep-fold: the
+wolf cannot foregather with the sheep; and the animal's delight may be
+fancied when it discovers that one at least of the flock, under the
+snowiest and most innocent-looking of fleeces, is, like herself, a wolf
+after all. Is it to be wondered at, then, that Fanchette clung to Miss
+Warrender? The pair thoroughly understood each other. Every Frenchwoman
+at heart is an intriguer, here again was a similarity of tastes and
+pursuits.
+
+No successor had as yet been appointed to Hephzibah Wallis. The little
+Lucius, like most infants of his tender age, passed the greater portion
+of his day in sleep, and Fanchette being an active person, willingly
+devoted the large proportion of spare time on her hands to Reginald
+Haggard's wife.
+
+It is hardly to be wondered at that old Squire Warrender, who idolized
+his daughter, should make a fool of himself over the little Lucius. He
+even brushed up his archaic French for the sake of inquiring directly
+after the child's health from Fanchette. But Fanchette was only
+Fanchette to the two girls and the squire; to the rest of the
+inhabitants of The Warren she soon became "Mamzell;" this brevet, or to
+be more correct, local rank, she first earned by her own personal
+heroism. Johnny Chubb, the oldest of The Warren coachman's boys, was
+detected by the _bonne_ in a series of hideous grimaces. She promptly
+seized Johnny by the ear. Johnny's ears were large, projecting, and of a
+healthy crimson. As she twisted his great red ear, the agonized cries of
+Johnny became heartrending. "Demand of me, then, pardon, little cancer,"
+cried the indignant _bonne_ in her native idiom. "Say, I pray you to
+pardon me, Mademoiselle Fanchette."
+
+But Johnny only screamed the louder, for Johnny did not understand
+French, and Johnny was in pain. Fanchette, being a determined
+Frenchwoman, went on with the twisting; like Sir Reginald Hugh de Bray
+she certainly would have twisted it on till she twisted it off; in vain
+did Johnny, in his ineffectual struggles, turn head over heels more than
+once; the relentless Frenchwoman never let go his soft and ruddy ear.
+She continued her injunctions to the boy, addressing him in many of the
+choicest flowers of abuse with which her language abounds, that he
+should beg mademoiselle's pardon. He did so at last, for even the
+endurance of a British boy breaks down at the idea of losing an ear.
+
+"I begs yer pardon, Mamzell," he said sulkily, as he clapped his hand to
+the injured member, to assure himself that it was still attached to his
+head.
+
+From that day Fanchette ceased to be "Frenchy" to Johnny, she became
+"Mamzell." At first, as a joke, the Warren servants gave her the title
+derisively; from them it spread to the villagers, and gradually all
+King's Warren called her "Mamzell" in sober earnest.
+
+The atmosphere of home, the healthy English air, and above all the quiet
+and regularity of the life at The Warren, combined with the hope of the
+approaching return of her husband, all had a beneficial effect on
+Georgie Haggard's physical health. Her lost colour gradually began to
+return, her step regained somewhat of its former elasticity, but she
+courted solitude, and seldom spoke. It was with difficulty she could be
+persuaded to go outside the grounds. Even the gossip of the vicar's
+wife, or the genial chat of the vicar himself, failed to interest her.
+The change was apparent to everybody. But King's Warren opinion was
+generally formed by the active mind of Mrs. Dodd. Mrs. Dodd had decided
+that the poor thing was fretting for her husband; she considered that
+Mrs. Haggard deserved her sympathy, and so King's Warren looked on Mrs.
+Haggard as a "poor thing," and duly sympathized. Old Warrender himself
+became gradually less anxious, and accepted the general verdict.
+
+Weeks rolled into months. The sale of estates, even in Mexico, ends at
+last. Haggard, who had returned to the capital, found the weather
+getting unpleasantly hot; there was nothing further to detain him, and
+he vouchsafed to announce his return to the wife of his bosom. Strange
+to say, to the astonishment of all but Lucy, young Mrs. Haggard
+continued to "fret."
+
+In that same rose garden, on the very bench on which she had sat
+awaiting Reginald's arrival on that momentous morning when she had
+consented to be his wife, Georgina now sat once more, but not alone. By
+her side was the _bonne_, and upon the _bonne's_ lap, wrapped in
+tranquil slumbers, lay the little Lucius. The young wife sat gazing at
+the infant, and as she sat she tried hard to come to a decision upon the
+course she should pursue. On the one side lay the path of duty. Should
+she make a clean breast of the matter? should she take her husband into
+her confidence? Should she ask him to give his name to the child of her
+cousin's shame? Or if she did so, could she for a moment suppose that he
+would for one instant listen to so monstrous a proposition? Of course
+there was her duty to be considered, her duty towards her husband, her
+duty towards her cousin; of what she owed herself she thought but
+little. But then she had sworn, and to some people, and Georgie was one
+of these, an oath remains ever binding. She felt herself securely
+caught, bound hand and foot in the net of intrigue, the meshes of which
+were so skilfully woven by her cousin's treacherous hands. Her mouth was
+sealed. Could she look forward with any pleasure to her husband's
+return? could it cause her aught but apprehension and a deadly fear that
+she, an innocent woman, was to pass the rest of her life in guarding a
+horrible secret, not her own, and in betraying her husband's confidence?
+But she had given her word; keep it she must, at whatever cost.
+
+How different had been her feelings on that well-remembered day, as she
+sat alone, in maiden meditation, and awaited her would-be lover's
+advent. Then there had been no anxiety in her anticipations of their
+meeting. It was very different now. A dreadful terror filled her heart;
+the fear of nameless horrors caused her hands to become cold and clammy.
+Should she appeal to his generosity? should she make an end of the whole
+ghastly story? If she could only nerve herself to do so, that was the
+one way out of the maze of doubt, the sole possible road to Georgie's
+future happiness. What right had Lucy to wreck her life? Hers was the
+sin; on her head let it be visited. But Georgie felt that she had gone
+too far already; the first step, that dangerous first step, in the path
+of deception had been unhappily taken. In her natural anxiety to shield
+her cousin she had yielded to her imperious demands. She had entered
+upon the lane of trickery, in which there is no turning back. She felt
+herself but a ship on a sea of troubles, whose helm was guided by that
+experienced sailor, her cousin Lucy.
+
+The little Lucius, the helpless centre of all the dark intrigue, clad in
+his garments of needlework, slept the sleep of innocence upon
+Fanchette's lap. Most women having so much cause would have hated the
+child, but to hate was not in Georgie Haggard's affectionate nature.
+
+The sleepy mid-day silence of the rose garden was broken by the sound of
+wheels, but no flush of pleasure reddened Georgie's cheek as she heard
+the bustle of her husband's arrival.
+
+Just as once before big Reginald Haggard strode down the gravel walk, so
+once more Georgie now saw him advancing in the blaze of sunlight, but
+not alone. With him walked her father, with a cheerful face, while on
+his arm hung the light-hearted Lucy, all smiles and happy blushes, her
+ringing musical laugh joyously heralding his advent.
+
+But Haggard seemed to have no eyes for any one but Georgie; his face
+wreathed in smiles, he hurriedly advanced to greet her, and then for an
+instant nature triumphed. Georgie burst into tears, and rushing into his
+arms, husband and wife were locked in a long embrace. But the momentary
+oblivion of her trouble ceased when Georgie left her husband's arms and
+caught her cousin's eye.
+
+Lucy's finger was pressed to her lips. What the gesture meant young Mrs.
+Haggard knew only too well.
+
+"If you don't moderate your transports you will commit the unpardonable
+crime, Reginald, for you will wake the baby," said Lucy.
+
+It was too late. The child, with a gentle sigh, opened his eyes and
+stared around him. But Haggard, absorbed in his first meeting with his
+wife, did not seem to observe him. Lucy snatched up the little bundle of
+lace and embroideries, and exhibited him triumphantly.
+
+"Have you no eyes, Reginald?" she cried. "Pray reserve some, at least,
+of your transports for the object of universal adoration."
+
+As Haggard gazed on the pair he thought they made a pretty picture, with
+their background of foliage.
+
+"So that's the little chap," he said carelessly.
+
+"And is that all you have to say to him?" cried Lucy. "No wonder you
+make him cry, Reginald," for the child, at the sight of a stranger, had
+burst into a succession of sturdy yells, which, at all events, showed
+the strength of his lungs.
+
+But even when a man is confronted for the first time with his firstborn,
+he probably does not manifest the amount of interest which is expected
+by the female mind. The little Lucius was speedily consigned to his
+nurse's arms; she disappeared with him down a shady walk, carefully
+protecting, as is the way with French nurses, the child's complexion and
+her own by means of a big sunshade.
+
+"Come, uncle," said Lucy. "We have to prepare the roast veal to
+celebrate the prodigal's return. Besides, Georgie and Reginald must have
+hundreds of things to tell each other; _we_ shall only be treated to the
+second edition of a gentleman's travels in America. I suppose the first
+will be for private circulation only. I fear Georgie won't have much to
+say in return, for our dull life at the château will have little to
+interest a man." This was said trippingly upon the tongue, but it was
+said with intention, and the look which accompanied it caused poor Mrs.
+Haggard to drop her eyes, while a slight flush suffused her cheeks.
+
+"Two can't play gooseberry, you know, uncle; it is a _rôle_ that, like
+the daisy-picker's, cannot be divided."
+
+Old Warrender rose with a smile, and Lucy dropped the pair a profound
+courtesy.
+
+"Farewell, Strephon. Good-bye, Chloe. You would both make a pretty
+picture in sylvan costume, but in your nineteenth century clothes you
+look terribly prosaic."
+
+"Lovers still though, I think, my dear; lovers still, please God,"
+muttered the old man, as he gave his arm to Lucy.
+
+The pair were left alone.
+
+Were this history mere fable Reginald would at once have proceeded to
+possess himself of his pretty wife's unresisting hand; he would have
+pressed it to his lips with rapture. What he really did was to take his
+case from his pocket, provide himself with a large and uncommonly
+fullflavoured cigar, which he lighted with much care and deliberation.
+
+"You must have found it beastly dull at that hole, Georgie," he remarked
+at length; "how on earth did you get through your time?"
+
+Should she tell him? Could she tell him how she had got through that
+terrible time? Her honest nature urged her to it; but Georgie's love for
+Haggard, deep as it was, was not untinged with fear. Her gentler spirit
+was dominated by Lucy's strong will. Her intense respect for her
+promise, the promise snatched from her in the moment of her excitement
+and tribulation, quelled the impulse.
+
+"Of course it was dull without you, Reginald. But you, at all events,
+have enjoyed yourself. How brown you've got," she said, gazing up at him
+with her old look of girlish rapture.
+
+The look did it. Woman's admiration was ever meat and drink to big
+Reginald Haggard, particularly the admiration of a pretty woman. Now
+Georgie was a very pretty woman. Accustomed as he was to open
+appreciation by the sex, it never seemed to pall on him. Though most men
+expect it, or at least the semblance of it, as a sort of right from
+their wives, and consequently cease to value it, yet Haggard, not having
+seen Georgie for many months, was evidently pleased.
+
+"Yes, we had plenty of sun out there," he said, as he passed his hand
+meditatively over his shaven chin. "It was hot, beastly hot. But they
+weren't a bad lot out there, you know," and then he went off into a long
+description.
+
+Nothing pleases a man better than to talk to his own wife about himself,
+except, perhaps, when privileged to enlarge upon the same delightful
+subject to somebody else's wife. So Haggard ran on; but even personal
+experiences must have an ending, and Haggard, at the height of good
+humour, condescended to compliment his wife upon the little Lucius.
+
+"Capital little chap that, Georgie," he said. "Howled awfully when he
+saw me. I suppose they all do, though?"
+
+Georgie's heart beat like a sledge-hammer at the heedless remark. Should
+she tell him at once, or finally make up her mind to pass the rest of
+her life as a cheat, and the accomplice of that arch-cheat, her cousin?
+Alas! for her, her impulse was smothered by what she considered her duty
+to Lucy.
+
+She laughed a little hollow laugh--a poor little, weak, stagey giggle.
+"I fancy he's much like other children," she said; "they always do cry
+when they see a stranger."
+
+"Let's have a good look at him, old girl," said her husband with a
+smile.
+
+Young Mrs. Haggard called the _bonne_, who advanced at the summons, her
+coarse, but handsome, peasant features lighted by a smile.
+
+The proprieties must be observed even in the presence of a _bonne_, and
+Haggard's hand, which had somehow stolen round his wife's waist, now
+discreetly sought the shelter of his coat pocket.
+
+"Monstrous fine creature, by Jove!" said the husband, as he emitted a
+vast cloud of smoke.
+
+This appreciative remark did evidently not refer to the baby. Many wives
+would have resented this openly-expressed tribute to Mademoiselle
+Fanchette's personal attractions, but Georgie was neither surprised nor
+disgusted. She was accustomed to her husband's ways; often and often, on
+their marriage trip, had her Reginald drawn her attention to the real or
+supposed charms of other women. It was a way he had. He didn't admire
+scenery; he hated pictures; architecture, and especially ruins, were to
+him abominations. But he did admire the sex. The pegs on which he hung
+his memory were pretty faces and pretty figures. He would refer to
+events and places in an original way of his own, as, "The day we met
+that cardinal's niece with the eyes," or, "Where we saw the American
+girl with the hair." At first, in their married life, these remarks had
+a sort of sting in them, but at last Georgie had come to regard them as
+a sort of proof of the big man's affection. She felt that they were a
+sign of confidence, that she was endeared to him by the far higher
+title of comradeship, that she was, in fact, what in his language he
+would dignify by the appellation of his "chum."
+
+Fanchette dropped a courtesy. Fanchette continued to beam, for Fanchette
+saw that she was appreciated by Monsieur. In fact, the appreciation was
+mutual; and Fanchette compared her new master, and not unfavourably,
+either, with the proverbial _pompier_ of her native country.
+
+There is a class of men ever ready to chatter with servants,
+particularly if they are of prepossessing appearance. To this class Mrs.
+Haggard's husband belonged. He would have been delighted to compliment
+the _bonne_, but, alas! his linguistic powers failed him. He rose,
+however, to his feet, and, with true British pluck, employed the few
+words of Anglo-French he knew; these he accompanied with appropriate
+pantomime.
+
+"_Enfant_," he said, pointing to the child. "_Mon_," he continued,
+indicating himself. "_Mon enfant_," he triumphantly added, with an air
+of jubilant proprietorship.
+
+"_Mais assurément, monsieur!_" cried the _bonne_, and then she went off
+into a flood of mingled praise of the infant, of her mistress, of her
+new master, and of herself. The child, whose eyes were open, was held
+aloft in triumph, and he stared at Haggard with a wondering gaze.
+
+Haggard clapped his hands at the child in undisguised pleasure.
+
+As Georgie sat upon the bench she wistfully watched the little drama,
+and gradually the old look of terror, which seemed to have left her in
+the excitement of her husband's return, came back to her face. The
+decision--the fatal decision--she felt was now irrevocable. From that
+moment she knew that her life was to be passed in the carrying out of
+Lucy's plot. There could be no drawing back now. As she thought of all
+this, the colour left her face, and the strength her limbs.
+
+The sharp eye of the _bonne_ saw that she was almost fainting.
+
+"_Monsieur, madame se trouve mal!_" she exclaimed, distracting the
+husband's attention from the infant and herself.
+
+"What's amiss, George," he cried. "You are not ill, dear?" he said with
+unusual solicitude.
+
+But Georgie declared that it was nothing. "I think the heat upsets me,"
+she said with an effort.
+
+Just then the clash of the luncheon bell was heard, and Haggard gave his
+wife his arm. She leaning heavily on it, the pair slowly proceeded
+towards the house, followed by the _bonne_, solacing the infant with the
+rather inappropriate strain of:
+
+    "Rien n'est sacré pour un sapeur--bébé.
+    Non, rien n'est sacré pour un sapeur."
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER V.
+
+  THE MISSES SLEEK DROP IN.
+
+
+It was certainly a great deal to Haggard's credit that he remained
+tranquilly at The Warren for the space of three whole weeks. It was the
+London season--just that time of year when flat-racing was at its
+height; and at all the great meetings the Pandemonium set was
+conspicuous. It might have been that he really liked his wife's society,
+and that he found that the only way of getting her all to himself was,
+as he was pleased to call it, to bury himself alive at King's Warren. It
+has been said before that Haggard objected to the _rôle_ of Beauty's
+Husband, but he had found that in town it was willy-nilly forced upon
+him. He felt it trying that the instant Georgie showed herself in their
+box at the play, the glasses of all the somebodies and half the
+nobodies would be immediately levelled at her. Haggard was by no means a
+jealous man. He was one of those who thoroughly enjoy being a
+"popper-in" at the boxes of friends where beauty sits triumphant. He had
+admired and rather laughed at the stoical philosophy of some of his
+married friends, who were accustomed to calmly go off to enjoy their
+brandies and sodas, under such circumstances, leaving their wives the
+centre of a little circle of admirers--a circle of which he himself was
+often a prominent ornament. But, though not a jealous man, he considered
+it wise, when at the play, to be particularly attentive to Georgie.
+Haggard believed in sheep dogs to a certain extent, but he believed
+still more in the actual presence of the shepherd himself. But his
+experiences of the last London season as a married man had convinced him
+that the life of Corydon, particularly at the play, was not an existence
+of unalloyed bliss. To Mrs. Charmington and her smart set, Haggard's
+devotion to his wife was particularly touching: in vain would they
+beckon him, or point to a vacant seat at their sides, with their fans;
+like Love's Sentinel, sweet was the watch he kept, but, to tell the
+truth, it bored him horribly.
+
+It is undoubtedly pleasing to a man to find that his choice is
+appreciated by all his friends, but it is rather trying to a married man
+when he leaves his wife, even for a few moments, at a garden party, or
+the inclosure of a race-course, on his return to always find her, by no
+fault of her own, be it remembered, surrounded by a rapidly-increasing
+throng of enthusiastic admirers. So Haggard resigned himself, with
+considerable philosophy, to the innocent delights of country life and
+the dulness of King's Warren.
+
+At all events, it had the refreshing charm of novelty: there was the
+fishing, and the King's Warren trout stream was a good one. Before he
+had filled his creel at the pretty stream that artists used to come to
+paint, the girls would come down to count the spoil and walk with him
+through the cool lane, to conduct this most fortunate of men back to the
+squire's well-supplied breakfast table. Then the model husband would
+pass the morning in a lounge chair in the shadiest corner of the rose
+garden, with a big cigar in his mouth, contemplating with lazy
+satisfaction his prize baby and his handsome wife, while the fair-haired
+Lucy would swing in the Mexican hammock he had brought her as a souvenir
+of his American experiences, gaily singing her little scraps of rather
+risky French songs, which, though he did not understand them, always
+amused him. The little songs, too, appeared to give intense delight to
+Mademoiselle Fanchette; that muscular specimen of womanhood would shake
+with inward laughter, and fluently compliment her younger mistress.
+"Ah!" she would say, "if mademoiselle had only been a poor girl, what a
+position! all Paris would be at the feet of the beautiful miss. Why, the
+_café-concerts_ would be struggling to possess her. Ah, what an enviable
+position!"
+
+Stimulated by this honest praise, Lucy Warrender would delight her
+little audience with "La Vénus aux Carottes," or some other well-known
+ditty of a similar nature. Old Warrender would lean on his daisy-spud a
+pleased spectator of the Arcadian scene. It delighted him to observe
+Haggard's suddenly awakened delight in the simple pleasures of country
+life, and the old gentleman's admiration of Monsieur, Madame and Bébé
+was unbounded.
+
+The afternoons were enlivened by the unceremonious dropping in of
+sympathetic visitors; the Reverend John Dodd and his wife were welcome
+guests, and tea in the garden became quite a function.
+
+It was a standing rule at The Warren that Thursday afternoon was a sort
+of special day. On Thursdays it was the custom to turn up at the
+squire's garden for afternoon tea. The men were always in a minority,
+for most of the gilded youth of King's Warren were of too timid a nature
+to put in an appearance. Occasionally young Mr. Wurzel, dragged thither
+by his bride-elect, the sentimental Miss Grains, would come, but he felt
+like a fish out of water, seldom opened his mouth, and passed most of
+his time in gazing, with respectful admiration, upon Miss Lucy
+Warrender; an annoying fact which did not escape the observation of his
+mother's sharp old eyes, and which caused considerable indignation in
+the troubled breast of the brewer's daughter. The vicar's curate was, of
+course, a standing dish; other curates from adjacent parishes, too,
+would appear and disappear, but they met with little encouragement, for
+Miss Warrender didn't affect a liking for parsons. Even the
+short-sighted High-church deacon from the next parish, who spoke of
+himself as a "Celibate," and "vowed to heaven" and habitually got
+himself up to resemble a Roman Catholic priest, failed to move her
+worldly little heart; the Reverend Hopley Porter would have been more in
+her line, mild curates were not at all in her way. The Misses Sleek,
+too, freely availed themselves of their _entrée_ to The Warren, and
+those young ladies were ever on their best behaviour. They were not
+bad-looking girls, and though both rather fast, while at The Warren they
+affected a demure primness which made them not unattractive. They
+patiently submitted to the continual snubbings of the vicar's wife, and
+to the little sarcasms with which they were occasionally favoured by
+Miss Warrender. They humbled themselves in dust and ashes to Miss Hood,
+and seldom made any reference to that patient money-grubber, their papa.
+With effusive affection they always addressed the squire as "dear Mr.
+Warrender," and sought favour in Georgie Haggard's eyes by an ecstatic
+worship of the little Lucius.
+
+"Don't you think you could manage it for us, Miss Hood? It's not a
+formal affair, and we are so anxious it should be a success. We shall
+have none but nice people, and it is so terribly dull at The Park: we
+shall only allow pa to ask three of his friends, and they are quite old
+gentlemen. I really couldn't ask dear Mr. Warrender myself, nor could
+Connie, and we are both terribly afraid of Lucy." So spoke the elder
+Miss Sleek in appealing tones.
+
+"Do help us, Miss Hood," chimed in the younger sister.
+
+"My dear, I don't see why you should be afraid of Miss Warrender," said
+good-natured Miss Hood, giving that young lady her full title.
+
+"Oh but, dear Miss Hood, she always laughs at us; only just now she
+inquired after that poor afflicted Mr. Dabbler. I knew she was laughing
+at us, and so did Connie, and then she said something dreadful in French
+about an ass and two bundles of hay; I'm sure we're not like bundles of
+hay," said the girl with an indignant sob. "But we neither mind a joke
+from dear Miss Warrender, do we, Connie?"
+
+"But we should be such a party, my dears."
+
+"Oh, that would only make it more delightful," cried the girl with
+triumphant eyes, as she noticed the slight indication of capitulation in
+Miss Hood's voice. "We're neighbours after all, you know, and haymaking
+too; why, the squire goes to Mr. Wurzel's harvest home. Nothing but the
+haymaking, and a little dance afterwards; oh, we should be _so_
+grateful."
+
+"What's that about a little dance?" cried Georgie's husband with
+unaffected interest.
+
+"Oh, Mr. Haggard, it's nothing; it's only an idea of pa's; it's our
+haymaking, you know, and we've been asking Miss Hood if The Warren won't
+honour us for once in a way."
+
+Both girls fixed their eyes appealingly on Haggard's face.
+
+The squire's son-in-law was quite aware that the wealthy Mr. Sleek was a
+_parvenu_. He knew that old Warrender would no more dine at The Park
+than he would think of attending the services of the Dissenting
+minister; but he himself was already beginning to feel rather hipped
+with the novelty of his quiet life at The Warren.
+
+"Come, my dear Miss Sleek? of course we'll come. Georgie," he said to
+his wife, "Miss Sleek is good enough to ask us to her father's place.
+We'll be only too glad, of course."
+
+With Georgie to yield to her husband's slightest wish was a second
+nature.
+
+"Certainly, Reginald, if you wish it. I shall be very pleased," she
+added, though with an effort.
+
+"It'll be great fun, I'm sure," exclaimed Haggard; "but you'll have
+mercy, Miss Sleek: you won't work us so hard at the haymaking as to
+knock us up for the promised dance, and you'll keep one little dance for
+me, won't you?" he added with cool familiarity.
+
+The girl's face reddened with pleasure as she acquiesced with effusion.
+And as she thought of the glowing description in the local paper of the
+forthcoming festivities at The Park, her eyes sparkled with the
+anticipation of triumph. It would be an epoch in her life to have danced
+with a peer's great-nephew, with the husband of one of the reigning
+queens of society. But fresh joys were yet in store for the Misses
+Sleek.
+
+"You'll let me bring my friend Spunyarn, won't you?" said Haggard; "he's
+coming down to-morrow."
+
+"Oh, we shall be delighted," chorused the girls, "for we are wofully
+short of men down here at King's Warren."
+
+The babble of conversation increased. Next morning each member of the
+group on The Warren lawn had received an elaborate copper-plate
+invitation to the Misses Sleek's haymaking, and the small and early
+dance that was to follow it.
+
+The Misses Sleek carried their point; had there been a Mrs. Warrender,
+their success would have been more than doubtful. Old Warrender himself
+cared for none of these things; Miss Hood had protested officially, but
+found herself very much in the position of the unfortunate member who
+alone protests once a year, as a sort of duty to his constituents,
+against the sum voted by Parliament to royal princes or princesses on
+their marriage. Haggard and Lucy evidently looked forward to the
+haymaking as a relief to the monotony of their existence; as for
+Georgie, hers was the simple religion of Ruth, "Whither thou goest I
+will go, thy people shall be my people."
+
+"One must be neighbourly, you know," said the squire, "in a place like
+this. For my own part, I see no difference now-a-days between the man
+who makes his money in business and the landowner. I'm sure I don't know
+what Dodd would do without the Sleeks; he's always ready with a cheque,
+and the girls seem almost unobjectionable."
+
+What a curious fact it is, that in the eyes of all old men girls are
+always unobjectionable. Probably from their very age they look upon
+even the hoydens, the "mannish," and the fast merely as big and rather
+naughty children; therefore, all the more interesting. Let a girl be
+thoroughly detested by her own sex--and to be thoroughly detested by her
+own sex she must at least be tolerably good-looking--she is certain to
+be the delight of all the old gentlemen of her circle.
+
+Haggard was in a particularly good humour, for he was hourly expecting
+the arrival of his _fidus Achates_, Lord Spunyarn. He was impatient to
+hear all the talk, the gossip and the scandal, which he had missed
+during his prolonged absence from the Pandemonium Club. Though they
+don't acknowledge it, your average club man is as great a scandalmonger
+and gossip as any village crone; but being by nature more cautious than
+are women, they hardly ever commit themselves upon paper. A yarn is told
+by A to B, as a yarn; B tells it to C, as a rumour he has heard; C gives
+it a tail, and imparts it under the seal of secrecy to D; over the
+whist table, E, F, and G get hold of it, like the rolling snow-ball,
+considerably increased in magnitude; sly H overhears it and gives it at
+once into a society journal, where it becomes public property; perhaps
+it may even result in an action for libel. Let the galled jade wince,
+our withers are unwrung. Besides, perhaps Haggard was a little nervous
+as to his reception; since he was last at the Pandemonium he had killed
+a man, not that that fact troubled his conscience in any way. Now-a-days
+a gambler is by no means an outcast at a smart club, particularly the
+lucky man; for he is placed on a sort of moral pedestal by his less
+successful rivals. Still the Lamb episode was not forgotten at the
+Pandemonium, and this, coupled with the affair of poor Barbiche, caused
+Georgie's husband to rather dread the cold shoulder. The presence of
+Spunyarn too would certainly be a break in the monotony of the life at
+The Warren.
+
+Haggard drove over some five miles on that hot summer day about noon, in
+the squire's well-appointed dog-cart, to meet his friend Lord Spunyarn,
+and it was with unaffected pleasure that he shook hands with him upon
+the platform of the little station. Had they been Frenchmen, they would
+have rushed into each other's arms and saluted mutually on either cheek.
+As it was, they merely smiled and nodded, with a mutual, "How are you,
+old man?" and a careless inquiry from Lord Spunyarn as to the health of
+"your people" followed as a matter of course. During the five-and-twenty
+minutes' sharp drive home, they talked of the heat, the crops and the
+fishing; for the squire's smart groom rendered anything but general
+conversation impossible: the bay mare, too, was full of oats, and a
+puller.
+
+Lord Spunyarn was a welcome guest to everybody; the whole party came out
+to meet him at the door, and with rural hospitality a substantial meal
+was quickly placed before him. The cool of the afternoon was got
+through by means of the inevitable croquet; in those days croquet was
+inevitable wherever there were ladies and a lawn. At The Warren both
+ladies and lawn were particularly attractive; the ubiquitous curate was
+conspicuous by his absence; there was a little play, a good deal of
+small talk, and as usual, Lord Spunyarn was particularly attentive to
+Lucy Warrender. Now-a-days it is the fashion for the youth of England to
+leave the spinsters out in the cold, and to affect the society of the
+more attractive among the married ladies only. But Spunyarn was no
+lady-killer, and if he had been, there was a certain air about Georgie
+Haggard, a kind of notice to trespassers, that would have warned off the
+most determined poacher. His lordship at once resumed his old position
+of everybody's friend; he chatted with the cousins, he talked politics
+with old Warrender, he complimented the head gardener; and when Lucy
+Warrender, assuming a pensive air, inquired if he had no secrets to
+tell her, he calmly replied:
+
+"There is nothing new, I think, Miss Warrender; nothing new, at least,
+to you; yours as ever, you know, till death," he added with a little
+laugh.
+
+"True knight," she cried, "ever faithful?"
+
+"To you, and to your cousin," he added with a little bow.
+
+"Why, you don't even offer me an undivided affection," said the girl. "I
+suppose you are reserving yourself for the high jinks at The Park, Lord
+Spunyarn," she said. "Connie Sleek's a pretty girl, you know, and there
+are piles of untold gold, but in your case, though, that isn't an
+inducement."
+
+"I'm too great a snob myself, dear Miss Warrender, at least, by birth,
+as you know, ever to fall a victim to a financial belle."
+
+"Poor Connie Sleek, if she could only hear you. Depend upon it the
+dreams of both sisters last night were disturbed by visions of possible
+promotion. They couldn't restrain their raptures when they learnt that
+they were to entertain a lord, a real live lord, you know. But you are
+not to turn their heads, Lord Spunyarn; respect the innocence of our
+simple village maidens."
+
+"It is that simple village innocence, Miss Warrender, which in your case
+has caused me to sigh so long in vain."
+
+"Thanks," she said with a low courtesy, "the most sincere compliments
+are always the most grateful. _À propos de rien_, how did you leave Mrs.
+Charmington, Lord Spunyarn?"
+
+"On the wane, decidedly on the wane. I think she will soon be a monarch
+retiring from business. Your cousin and you extinguished her
+effectually. There's a little Portuguese Jew, a financial light; he has
+ducats and a daughter: the ducats are undeniable; the daughter is all
+eyes, hair and diamonds; she is the last startling novelty of the
+season, and under royal patronage. There's only one chance for the
+Charmington to keep herself before the public: she should try the stage.
+God knows she has brass enough."
+
+"You are all the same, Lord Spunyarn; when we cease to please you laugh
+at us. I suppose you'll be soon recommending me to try the stage."
+
+"Oh, no, Miss Warrender. _You_ are far too genuine, far too sincere."
+
+Here the conversation was broken off by the exigencies of the game.
+
+The two young men sat smoking late into the night. Haggard narrated his
+American experience, cursed the dilatoriness of lawyers and land agents;
+told of his feats by flood and field; praised the hospitality of the
+natives, the horses and the half-castes; but he didn't say much of
+Mademoiselle de Bondi, of the Mexico Opera House. And then they talked
+about the Pandemonium, and Haggard heard with pleasure that his
+numerous club acquaintances would be delighted to see him.
+
+"Not quite so pleased, I fancy, when they know I have forsworn the
+pasteboards. That Lamb affair was a scorcher. Besides, Shirtings, you
+know--I may say it to you without swagger--I find now I've made my pile
+that it's too big to risk, so I mean to set up as a fogey, and to
+confine myself to whist at pound points."
+
+"Poor old paterfamilias," exclaimed the sympathizing friend with genuine
+feeling. "I know, port wine, a J.P.-ship, with a lord-lieutenancy and
+the gout looming in the distant future."
+
+Haggard gave a groan. "I suppose it'll come to that," said he.
+
+"How are the old man and the pigs? Jolly as usual, eh?"
+
+"Well, the pigs are flourishing, but the governor's out of sorts; he
+speaks thick, and his handwriting's getting rather groggy; the poor old
+chap may go off at any moment."
+
+There was a short silence.
+
+"Are you going to speculate yourself, Shirtings? If you were one of the
+impecunious, there'd be a chance for you to-morrow. Two queens of the
+snobocracy will entertain us at romping in the hay, with Sir Roger de
+Coverley to follow. From all I hear it is a land flowing with milk and
+honey. The people themselves are rather dreadful, but for my own part,
+after three weeks of enforced tranquility, seeing no one but the old
+boy, my wife and her cousin, I am in a state of mind that is prepared to
+be grateful for the smallest mercies. My dear fellow, I positively look
+forward to it. Another week of the existence I have been leading here,
+and I verily believe that I shall yearn to dance with my own wife."
+
+"Or even her pretty cousin," chimed in Lord Spunyarn.
+
+But Haggard took no notice of the observation. He chuckled, still
+tickled with the idea of the absurdity of dancing with Georgie.
+
+"And is Lucy, as of old, to be honoured with your attentions,
+Shirtings?" said Haggard, who was amusing himself by blowing circles of
+smoke into the air.
+
+"Between ourselves, my boy, I've thought better of it. I shall remain a
+respectful admirer, of course; but I don't think the lady would go well
+in double harness. If I were a devilish good-looking fellow as you are,
+my boy, I might try it; but I fancy Miss Lucy would prove a handful for
+any fellow, and I have no ambition to play Jack Charmington's part in a
+sort of perpetual Palais Royal comedy. Life being too short, you know,
+old man, it seems hardly good enough."
+
+"Rough on Lucy. I fancy she has looked upon you as lawful prize."
+
+"Oh! she can reckon upon me as a permanent admirer; but without
+compliment, you know, her cousin rather throws her into the shade."
+
+"Thanks, dear boy; there is no accounting for taste."
+
+As the representative of his father-in-law, Haggard asked his lordship
+with punctilious hospitality if he would take another peg. Then, with a
+yawn, he closed the Tantalus with a snap, and the pair retired to rest.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER VI.
+
+  THE SLEEKS IN ARCADIA.
+
+
+There had been a succession of battles royal between the Misses Sleek
+and their papa over the haymaking party. Mr. Sleek had drawn up a long
+list of guests, among whom prominently figured the names of most of the
+gilded youth of the Stock Exchange. Sleek was determined at all hazards
+to make what he called a "splash." He felt that in getting old Warrender
+and his daughter to The Park, he was in reality receiving his passport
+into county society. It had been gall and wormwood to the head of the
+firm of Sleek and Dabbler to find that in King's Warren village, except
+among the tradesmen whom he patronized, for no fault of his own, he had
+remained a social pariah. In vain had he subscribed liberally to the
+local charities, the coal club, and the various other institutions of
+the place. He was annoyed that, when walking with young farmer Wurzel,
+village heads would be uncovered in every direction; and yet when he,
+Sleek, the head of a well-known firm, was alone, a surly nod or a
+fraternal smile was the only recognition accorded to him. He was
+naturally anxious, then, that his haymaking and the subsequent dance
+should be an important affair. But his daughters had manifested an
+obstinacy totally unexpected.
+
+The family council of three had met in solemn conclave. Miss Sleek had
+read to her father a long list of King's Warren people, and he had
+cheerfully nodded his approval at each name submitted for his
+approbation.
+
+"Can't be better, can't be better, my dear," smiled the father. "I don't
+think you've left a soul out. But we mustn't forget my friends. I tell
+you what it is, girls, when I do a thing I like to do it well, and I
+mean to do this thing in style. None of your negus and stale sponge
+cakes for me. I shall give 'em real turtle from Birch's, and as for
+fizz, they shall swim in it if they like. Dry Monopole for the men, and
+Duc de Montebello for the ladies; women hate dry champagne, they like it
+sweet, for it fizzes longer, and they don't care a hang for the head in
+the morning. Montebello will suit the vicar's wife and the married
+ladies down to the boots. There's nothing like fizz, it makes 'em all so
+friendly; and as for music, I've secured Toot and Kinney. Kinney himself
+will come and conduct, and do the solos on the cornet. I'm going to
+arrange for a special, girls, to bring the whole party down and take 'em
+back to town at six a.m."
+
+His eldest daughter suddenly put a stop to his enthusiasm by asking him
+rather coldly, "who the train was to bring down."
+
+"Why, my friends, of course; who else?"
+
+"But, dear papa, we don't know your friends, at least, many of them; and
+I'm afraid, and so is Connie," she added with a sickly smile, "that
+perhaps they wouldn't amalgamate."
+
+Much as King Lear looked when he first detected the real natures of
+Regan and Goneril, so did Mr. Sleek gaze in horror on his two rebellious
+daughters.
+
+"Bosh!" he exclaimed with indignation. "Do you mean to tell me that
+after romping together all the afternoon in the hay, and getting their
+skins full of my champagne, they won't amalgamate, as you call it? Why,
+they'll be calling each other by their Christian names before supper
+time."
+
+But the sisters showed no signs of yielding.
+
+"I tell you what it is, girls," said their father in anger, "you're a
+pair of ungrateful minxes. Don't 'pa' me," he added at the duet of
+deprecation that followed. "My daughters are going to dance with a
+lord," he continued with tragic fervour, "and their poor old father
+isn't good enough for them."
+
+Mr. Sleek did not go to business that morning. A terrible ceremony that
+lasted a good hour and a half was gone through. Mr. Sleek's list, which
+had originally contained over a hundred names, was shorn of its fair
+proportions, till but a little handful of the least objectionable
+remained. With the eloquence of a Cicero and the skill of an
+attorney-general, Miss Sleek "showed cause" against everybody. Though he
+fought hard he had to yield, for the girls were two to one. But he did
+not give in without a struggle, and he fought loyally for the absent
+Dabbler, but the girls were inexorable.
+
+"Mr. Dabbler is too dreadful, papa. I'm sure he'd forget himself, and he
+would insist on dancing."
+
+Now both the Misses Sleek had a vivid recollection of poor Dabbler's
+terpsichorean efforts at a certain Guildhall ball. Not contented with
+walking through his square dances, as is the lazy custom now-a-days, Mr.
+Dabbler had _danced_ them with a vigour and ingenuity which would have
+assuredly brought down the house at a transpontine theatre. Even at the
+Guildhall, Dabbler's style was peculiar to himself, and productive of
+amazement and delight to all but his partners and those who figured in
+the same set. Dabbler was a vigorous dancer. When he set to his partner,
+he performed a sort of cellar-flap breakdown; when he stood in the
+middle of the quadrille while his _vis-à-vis_ advanced and retired with
+the two ladies, he still continued dancing. "To dance implies that a man
+is glad," and Dabbler was a cheerful-minded fellow enough, but no lady
+danced with him a second time. The eyes of the Misses Sleek flashed with
+unaffected rage and horror at the terrible remembrance of that dreadful
+night in the City.
+
+There was nothing for it but to yield, and Mr. Sleek, when he had had
+time to cool, came to the conclusion that perhaps after all his
+daughters were right.
+
+Romping among the haycocks may be very good fun, but the elaborate
+toilettes in which he found his daughters arrayed on the eventful
+afternoon effectually convinced him that the romping, if romping there
+was to be, would be entirely confined to the few juveniles who graced
+the entertainment with their presence.
+
+The house was turned inside out. The drawing-room floor had been duly
+chalked in elaborate devices; the staff at The Park, in new gowns, caps
+and aprons, was reinforced by an army of myrmidons from the City. Huge
+blocks of ice decorated the dining-room, and Messrs. Toot and Kinney's
+band already discoursed sweet music from the Italian summer-house. The
+plump charms of his two daughters were freely displayed in elaborate
+Parisian costumes, _merveilleuse_ dresses of striped satin; one girl
+affected pink, the other sky blue. So resplendent was their appearance
+that the proud father hardly recognized his two buxom daughters in their
+gay attire.
+
+But carriages, dog-carts and antediluvian flys began to pour into The
+Park. Every lady on her arrival received a bouquet of hot-house flowers,
+every gentleman was presented with an elaborate button-hole of orchids.
+Not a single invitation had been refused. King's Warren and the region
+round about had come to the philosophical conclusion that if Mr. Sleek,
+of The Park, was good enough for Squire Warrender, he was good enough
+for them. More than this, even those who had once passed the Sleek girls
+with a condescending nod, or with their noses high in air, had deigned
+to intrigue for invitations; and in the hour of their triumph the girls
+had not been ill-natured, nobody had been refused.
+
+There was quite a crowd in the shady corner of the hay-field to watch
+the so-called haymaking, a familiar sight enough to the King's
+Warreners, and there _was_ romping among the haycocks. But the pastoral
+amusement was only indulged in by the children of the village school.
+Young Mr. Wurzel, in the shiniest of boots, yellow gloves, a pink tie
+and a white hat, his bride-elect, Miss Grains, upon his arm, looked on
+approvingly, and it is not to be wondered at if the young fellow's eye
+dwelt, somewhat too long for Miss Grains' satisfaction, upon their young
+hostesses. The Reverend John Dodd, as usual, was surrounded by a throng
+of female worshippers, the party from The Warren was in full force, and
+it somewhat astonished the Misses Sleek to note that Georgie and her
+cousin were in ordinary afternoon muslin dresses. No doubt the Sleek
+family would have been more gratified if, instead of his brown
+billycock, Lord Spunyarn had worn his coronet; he probably didn't travel
+with it, however.
+
+All went merry as a marriage bell.
+
+"My dear young ladies, surely we ought to join in this," said the
+Reverend Jack with a smile, addressing his hostesses, as he pointed to
+the children who were pelting each other with the perfumed hay.
+
+But the _merveilleuse_ costumes of the Sleek girls were better suited
+for looking on than for taking part in the actual performance.
+
+"Oh, we should like it of all things, Mr. Dodd, but _we_ must reserve
+ourselves. You see _we_ are almost bound to dance every dance, and there
+is so much to do, and so much to see to. But if any one would like to
+make hay we should be so pleased, and so would the children."
+
+"You are not haymakers to-day, then, only shepherdesses looking after
+an unruly and, I see, rapidly increasing flock. It's a very sweet
+pastoral, you only want your crooks to complete the picture. I, too, am
+a shepherd, you know; but a shepherd in black and without his crook is
+somewhat in the way. With your permission, then, I shall join the
+children," said the vicar with a smile.
+
+"The crook will come in time, Dodd; you may depend upon it we shall see
+you a bishop one of these days, after all," laughed Haggard
+good-naturedly.
+
+"Thank you so much, Mr. Haggard," said a deep voice at his elbow, which
+made him start; "thank you so much for attempting to recall my poor
+husband from this frivolous scene to higher things. My unhappy husband,
+Mr. Haggard," she added in a confidential whisper, "has no ambition.
+John Dodd, Mr. Haggard, is, I regret to say, a trifler. It has been the
+labour of my life to try and withdraw his mind from frivolities, and to
+keep him in the path which would ultimately lead him to what should be
+the goal of every clergyman's ambition. Oh, if he would only try to be a
+little more like my dear father. If he would only think less of carnal
+things," and here the vicaress gave a snort and looked spitefully at the
+Misses Sleek, between whom the Reverend Jack still lingered.
+
+The Misses Sleek were plump, the Misses Sleek were pretty, even if they
+were a little over-dressed; but to call them "carnal things" was at
+least unkind.
+
+"Console yourself, dear Mrs. Dodd," said Haggard with a smile; "the
+vicar will be just as attentive to the school children in the hay as he
+is to our young hostesses now," he added with intention.
+
+"Too well I know it, Mr. Haggard. And can there be a sadder sight than
+to see the vicar of this parish romping in the hay with village
+hoydens?"
+
+Haggard's prophecy turned out to be correct, for the vicar threw off his
+coat and joined the children; and he, the greatest child of them all,
+was soon thoroughly enjoying himself.
+
+Nearly all the ladies were accommodated with seats, all save the Misses
+Sleek; they, poor girls, alas, could not sit. One can walk, flirt and
+dance in a _Merveilleuse_ costume, but it is next to impossible to sit
+down in it. They bore their sufferings with fortitude, however, and,
+like the Spartan boy with his fox, concealed their agony.
+
+And now the loud summons of a gong called everybody to the more serious
+business of the evening. A big marquee of striped canvas had been
+erected; the guests trooped into it. Soon all the little tables were
+filled, and everybody did full justice to the delicacies set before
+them. After standing in the sun a considerable time, the crowd was not
+sorry to eat and drink its fill. The eyes of bashful bucolic youth
+began to sparkle with the effects of Mr. Sleek's champagne; rosy cheeks
+grew rosier; even the vicar's wife unbent; that blighted maiden, Stacey
+Dodd, almost felt her hopes revive under the influence of _pâté de foie
+gras_, and the immediate proximity of the squire. But, even in the
+country, people can't eat and drink for ever; and the marquee was at
+last deserted for the superior attractions of the dance.
+
+For that evening, at least, class distinctions were for once forgotten
+in King's Warren. Young Mr. Wurzel screwed his courage up so far as to
+ask Miss Warrender to dance with him, while the vicar took out the
+village schoolmistress, and Mrs. Dodd herself condescended to waltz with
+her host. But after her toes had been trodden on three times in a couple
+of rounds, she felt that she had already done more than enough; she
+danced no more, and relapsed into her old position of tutelary goddess,
+or guardian angel, to society in general. Connie and her sister were in
+great demand, and the cup of their happiness was filled to overflowing,
+each having danced with the real live lord. Young Wurzel having done
+enough for honour, did as engaged young men should, and stood up for
+dance after dance, as a matter of course, with the object of his
+affections.
+
+"I can't dance as _she_ does," whispered the Village Rose in his ear;
+"but hold me tight and turn me round quickly, William," she added with a
+sigh of satisfaction.
+
+The young farmer did as he was bid, and owing to their united exertions,
+they were soon both the colour of a couple of peonies.
+
+The big conservatory had been judiciously only dimly lighted by a few
+Chinese lanterns, and by common consent had been given up to the lazy
+philanderers, who sought its leafy shades between the dances. Connie
+Sleek had volunteered to show the plants to Lord Spunyarn; they were
+both tired, and Connie in considerable trepidation managed to sit down
+in one of the dimly-lighted nooks, at his good-natured lordship's
+suggestion. Spunyarn, however, didn't make love to Connie, but the young
+lady felt that she had her chance, and she availed herself of it.
+
+"I've been on my feet since four o'clock, Lord Spunyarn," she said, with
+a not unmusical sigh, "and I feel as if I could sit here for ever. Don't
+you?" she added.
+
+What is an easy-natured young man to say under such circumstances? Given
+an exceptionally substantial collation, warm weather, some dozen round
+dances, and nothing particular to do, most men would have probably
+replied just as Lord Spunyarn did.
+
+"With you, Miss Sleek? Well, do you know, I believe I could."
+
+Connie Sleek's eyes sparkled like coals of fire. Visions of herself as
+Lady Spunyarn presented at Court on her marriage, and patronizing her
+elder sister, flitted through her young and innocent but giddy brain.
+But his lordship's next remark rather damped her hopes; the descent from
+the sublime to the ridiculous is at times a little too sudden.
+
+"By Jove!" said Spunyarn, "I should like to be one of these plants, and
+never move out of my pot, with nothing to think of but to look forward
+to the time when the gardener would come and syringe me. I wish he'd
+come and syringe me now, don't you? _They_ seem to be enjoying
+themselves, don't they? Uncommonly, by Jove!" he added, looking towards
+the farther end of the conservatory.
+
+The guileless Connie saw a pink mass in the dim shadows opposite her.
+The pink mass was evidently her sister. A small incandescent speck,
+which sparkled about a foot from where that sister's head would be,
+indicated her partner in enjoyment, also that the gentleman was smoking
+a cigarette.
+
+"Why, it's Lottie. I wouldn't have her see me here for the world, Lord
+Spunyarn. She's a dreadful tease, and I should never hear the last of
+it," and here the young lady, exactly upon the principle of the ostrich,
+who is said to bury its head in the sand when it wishes to escape
+observation, unfolded an enormous blue fan which effectually screened
+both herself and her fellow criminal. If Spunyarn had sought a
+_tête-à-tête_, he had now got it with a vengeance.
+
+Precisely the same feelings evidently animated the young lady in pink.
+She, too, unfurled a big fan. The conversation of both couples for the
+next five minutes must have been interesting, for both fans, which were
+originally used merely as screens, were frequently violently agitated.
+
+No doubt, the conversation of both pairs was instructive as well as
+amusing. Both ladies evidently enjoyed the unhoped-for but
+well-deserved rest. Had it not been for an unfortunate disturbing
+influence, who can tell but that Connie Sleek might have risen from the
+settee Lord Spunyarn's affianced bride. When even a worldly-wise young
+peer occupies the half of a seat only intended for one person for fully
+five minutes, behind a big fan, beside a becomingly-dressed young woman
+of undoubted crispness, and who is not troubled with bashfulness, who
+can say of what folly he may not be guilty?
+
+But Providence willed it otherwise; for Mr. Sleek suddenly entered his
+conservatory in a state of considerable excitement.
+
+"Gals," he said--when excited, Sleek _père_ always addressed his
+daughters as "gals"--"where on earth is Mr. Haggard? I've been looking
+for him everywhere."
+
+The two men rose to their feet; the one behind the pink fan, not much to
+Lord Spunyarn's surprise, turned out to be Haggard. But neither young
+lady moved; their dresses wouldn't let them, poor things.
+
+"It's pa!" they both exclaimed in a sort of astonished chorus. "Oh, pa,
+it's so hot," said the elder girl, regaining her _aplomb_ at once. But
+Connie, more indignant, only sighed; she felt, poor girl, that she had
+had her chance and lost it. There are moments in girls' lives when even
+a father is _de trop_.
+
+"What is it, old fellow?" cried Haggard with unusual condescension as he
+advanced.
+
+"I've been looking for you everywhere, Mr. Haggard. Here's a telegram
+for you. I hope it's no bad news," he added.
+
+The two girls, with considerable effort and many an ominous crack,
+covered, too, with rosy blushes, perhaps from their exertions, had now
+managed to regain their feet.
+
+"Oh, I do hope it's nothing dreadful," said the elder girl with pretty
+sympathy.
+
+Haggard, as he tore the envelope open and read the telegram with
+difficulty by the light of one of the Chinese lanterns, blurted out:
+
+"By Jove! Shirtings, the poor old governor's dead."
+
+There was considerable consternation. The Warren party hurried away, and
+though dancing went on, the two young hostesses, perhaps in their
+natural grief for their friend's loss, joined in it no more.
+
+As poor Connie wept herself to sleep that night in her sister's arms,
+she whispered her tale of sorrow into her ear. Her last words were,
+"Lottie, darling, I shall never, never forgive pa."
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER VII.
+
+  HAGGARD COMES INTO HIS OWN.
+
+
+Old Justice Haggard had died rather suddenly. He had been ailing for
+several weeks; as his son had remarked, his handwriting had been the
+first symptom of the breakdown. His articulation, too, had become
+thickened, and one evening he was found seated in his chair by his study
+fire speechless, his face painfully drawn on one side; within an hour he
+had peacefully passed away.
+
+The king was dead, long live the king. Reginald Haggard came into his
+own. But though Haggard had talked of settling down into a county
+magnate in the case of his father's death, when that event happened he
+failed to do so.
+
+"I couldn't stand it, you know. The dreadful dinners and the dreadful
+people would have finished me, I think," he had said.
+
+So after the funeral, Haggard returned to The Warren, but not before he
+had given the old steward final and definite instructions, which caused
+that worthy man's hair to almost stand on end.
+
+"Cunningham," he said, "if you want to remain on the estate as my
+steward, you'll have to alter the state of things here. My father, you
+know, muddled along in a happy-go-lucky sort of way. As long as his pigs
+took the first prize at the county shows he was happy. That was his
+ambition. Now, Cunningham, you'll have to make the place pay. There are
+a lot of old servants, old pensioners and old horses, all eating their
+heads off here, and doing no work. You'll have to make a clean sweep of
+the lot. Were I to attempt to do it myself they'd worry my life out. Now
+I want you to act as a buffer. From your decisions there is to be no
+appeal. They are to look to you, and not to me. As I said, the place
+must be made to pay, that's the first point; the second is, that I am
+not to be bothered. It used to amuse my father to sit in his
+justice-room every morning and to be perpetually receiving and answering
+letters from all sorts of people about the place. That sort of thing
+won't suit me. You know as well as I do that my father got nothing out
+of the place."
+
+"Sir----" began the Scotchman.
+
+"Wait till I have done, Cunningham, and you will see that you have
+nothing to say. I know what you are going to tell me. That it is my duty
+to come and live in this place, with these yokels, to have the ague at
+least twice a year, as my father did before me, and to ask my friends
+down in September to shoot my partridges. Those were my father's views,
+they're not mine. As to the house, I shall let it, and I shall do the
+same with the shooting. With regard to the property, if you can get an
+income out of it for me, well and good; if you can't, I don't suppose
+anybody can; and in that case I intend to be shot of the whole bag of
+tricks."
+
+"Ye wud'na think of pairting with the property, sir," said the
+astonished steward; "it's been your fathers' before you for centuries."
+
+"It must pay me three per cent., Cunningham, or I shall assuredly sell
+it. Of course any legal liability I have I must fulfil; but there's been
+a good deal too much sentiment lately in the management of the place. My
+father was fond of pigs and paupers; I can't say I care for either. You
+will grant no new leases except at their full value. If Dick can't get a
+living out of a farm, that's no reason for letting him have it rent
+free. The estate must be improved, Cunningham--as a property. You
+understand me, I take it?"
+
+"I could'na fail to do that, Mr. Reginald."
+
+The steward carried out his instructions. It is needless to say that
+Reginald Haggard became unpopular. Ash Priory was let; the old
+servants, those few who had any work left in them, got new and harder
+places at less wages; those who were past work went into the poor-house.
+The Haggard estate actually returned three per cent on its market
+value, and everybody in the neighbourhood of the Priory agreed that Mr.
+Cunningham the steward was an exceedingly hard man.
+
+Haggard was very particular about one thing. A large diamond-shaped
+hatchment on which the arms of the Haggards were emblazoned came down
+from town and was duly affixed over the principal entrance to the
+Priory.
+
+"It's to stay up for a year mind, Cunningham, tenant or no tenant, and
+then you can take it down and burn it if you like."
+
+The death of Justice Haggard caused the postponement of the proposed
+visit to Walls End Castle, and it was not till more than a year
+afterwards that the old earl's eyes were gladdened by the sight of his
+favourite, his great-nephew's wife.
+
+During the year of mourning, Georgie Haggard presented her husband with
+a son. The child had been born at The Warren. Their recent mourning had
+effectually prevented the Haggards from going much into society, so
+rather against the grain, Haggard had consented to remain the guest of
+his father-in-law, varying the monotony of his long stay at The Warren
+by an occasional run up to town. At first he had proposed a furnished
+house, but he had been warned by the local practitioner that it would be
+unwise and imprudent to subject his wife to unnecessary fatigue, or to
+let her lose the benefit of the air of her native place. There was not
+much fuss made on the arrival of the little George; he, poor little
+chap, was provided with a humble attendant from the village, Fanchette
+being still retained to minister to the wants, whims and foibles of the
+elder child.
+
+Miss Lucy Warrender had enjoyed the successive delights of two London
+seasons; she went everywhere, she was as much admired as ever. Lucy
+Warrender was not a mere beauty to be stared at; she was a brilliant
+conversationalist and possessed considerable powers of repartee. She had
+an artless way of administering cruel stabs to her female acquaintances
+which frequently turned them into enemies. When Mrs. Charmington had
+innocently asked her whether she considered her proposed appearance upon
+the stage _infra dig._, she had replied that she thought her friend
+couldn't do better, "for," added she gently, "they tell me, dear Mrs.
+Charmington, that actresses never grow old." Lucy Warrender had not been
+without her triumphs; she had had several offers, and good offers too,
+but she refused them all, and Lucy Warrender was Lucy Warrender still.
+Excitement was an absolute necessity to Lucy; there was a persistent
+craving in her mind for something new, and a ceaseless round of
+amusement was what she could not do without. Many girls would have
+knocked up from the effects of continuous late hours, heated rooms and
+high living, but Lucy seemed to thrive upon it. She was now nearly
+two-and-twenty, and from the time she had been able to think she had
+never troubled herself about anybody's comfort but her own. The maternal
+instinct had never been awakened in her; she petted the little Lucius
+simply because he was good-looking, and because she knew that a
+well-dressed, good-looking young person engaged in petting a child who
+is also well-dressed and good-looking is a pleasant and picturesque
+object. Just in the same way she was accustomed to hang on her uncle's
+arm and gaze up into his face, not because she cared one iota for her
+uncle, but because she considered it an effective tableau. The sole
+reason that Lucy Warrender never accepted any of the good offers which
+she received was, that she thought herself better off as her own
+mistress. If Lucy Warrender had been a man, she would have been one of
+those wholly unobjectionable persons, one of those single-minded
+individuals, whose life is passed in trying to get the greatest possible
+amount of personal enjoyment out of this world. As we know, Lucy was not
+troubled with what is called a heart; true she had made what she now
+considered a mistake at the outset, but she had burnt her fingers so
+severely that from that time she was never likely again to lapse from
+her religion of self-worship. When they had first returned from
+Switzerland, she had had considerable cause for anxiety, for the fear of
+being found out had troubled her a good deal, but that shadow had
+gradually passed away and the whole affair now seemed to her merely like
+a troubled dream, which she still remembered in a vague sort of way.
+
+Happy, tranquil and contented, Miss Lucy Warrender, looking fresh as a
+rose, sat down to the well-furnished breakfast-table at The Warren and
+turned over in a meditative manner the three or four letters which had
+arrived for her by the morning's post. Miss Warrender was a wise young
+woman; she always ate her breakfast first and postponed the perusal of
+her correspondence till the meal was over. She put her letters in her
+pocket, as was her custom, and did full justice to the substantial meal
+which graced the squire's board; at its conclusion, provided with one of
+her favourite yellow-coloured novels, she lounged into the garden
+prepared to get through the morning with the least possible amount of
+trouble to herself. She sat down in a shady nook of the rose garden and
+read two of her letters, gossipy effusions from female acquaintances;
+then she took up the last letter, which was on thin paper and addressed
+in a legible but foreign-looking hand. She opened it carelessly, but as
+her eyes fell upon the contents she drew herself up, suddenly the
+colour left her lips. This was what she read:
+
+                    "131, Gerard Street, Soho.
+
+    "MADAME,
+
+    "I trust you will excuse the liberty I take in addressing you on
+    a little matter which concerns myself. Circumstances compelled
+    me to leave the service of Mr. Haggard while you and madame were
+    at the Villa Lambert. I have now, madame, to trespass on your
+    kindness, in asking you to assist me in my present intention of
+    re-entering that gentleman's service. I have no reason to
+    believe, madame, that during the time I acted as Mr. Haggard's
+    valet I failed to give satisfaction. It is to ask you to use
+    your kind influence with my former master that I now address
+    you. His valet, I understand, is about to leave him. It probably
+    is in your power, madame, to enable me to obtain my old position
+    once more. Should you feel inclined to use your influence in my
+    behalf I shall be for ever grateful. I may tell you, madame,
+    that business took me to the village of Auray; what I learned at
+    Auray I shall look upon as a secret confided to my honour. I
+    shall write to Mr. Haggard to-day to apply for the situation.
+    Trusting, madame, that you will give me your powerful aid in
+    this matter, I remain,
+
+            "Very respectfully,
+                "Your humble servant,
+                    "MAURICE CAPT.
+
+    "P.S.--It will be unnecessary to answer this letter, as I feel I
+    can count upon your generosity."
+
+There was no mistake. Lucy had taken every precaution; she had looked
+upon the old scandal as dead and comfortably buried, buried in the grave
+of the Parisian cemetery in which lay the unfortunate Hephzibah.
+
+She ground her little white teeth, as she saw the spectre rise once more
+in a new and uncompromising shape; an unpleasant feeling of utter
+helplessness filled her soul. Had her successful intrigues been all to
+no purpose after all? She had no doubt in her own mind as to what it was
+that Maurice Capt had learnt at the village of Auray. Capt had not
+written to ask her for money; she felt that he would probably name the
+price for his silence later on. In the meantime, she knew that the
+humble request of the Swiss valet was a politely-worded command which
+she dared not disobey; and she dreaded his presence, filled with the
+horrid fear of its consequences. It was even possible, she thought, that
+her cousin in her sudden terror might incontinently make a clean breast
+of the whole matter to her husband, or even to the squire. When one has
+felt perfectly secure, it is extremely painful to see all one's
+carefully-elaborated combinations instantaneously collapse. As has been
+said, Lucy Warrender was in the habit of looking upon servants as mere
+furniture, but here was a piece of furniture suddenly developed into a
+most substantial bogey.
+
+At first Lucy was disposed to take her cousin into her confidence, but
+then she thought, and thought rightly, that Georgina would make a very
+bad conspirator. Perhaps after all the valet might consent to be bribed;
+she remembered with pleasure that he was discretion itself, so she
+calmly resolved to adopt what doctors call an expectant policy; that is
+to say, to do nothing at all, and to patiently await the turn of events.
+
+She was not kept long in suspense. While they were at dinner that
+evening, Haggard mentioned to the squire that he had just received a
+letter from his old servant.
+
+"I think the confounded impudence of that rascal Capt has something
+almost sublime in it. He bolts in a mysterious manner when he was left
+in charge of the girls, and now he calmly proposes to come back to me
+again."
+
+"Of course you won't think of taking him," replied the squire.
+
+"Take him, I'd see him hanged first, as he will be one of these days, if
+he gets his deserts. Why, Georgie, what's the matter?"
+
+And well might Haggard exclaim, for young Mrs. Haggard was staring at
+her husband, her eyes wild with terror.
+
+"How terribly stupid you men are; don't you see that she's fainting,
+Reginald," cried Lucy as she hurried to her cousin's side. "The heat's
+something dreadful, and it has quite overcome her," said the
+sympathizing cousin, as she cleverly covered Georgie's retreat from the
+room.
+
+In a few minutes she reappeared.
+
+"It was nothing after all, as I supposed. She is lying down, and will be
+herself again very shortly. What was it you were saying, Reginald, about
+Capt?"
+
+"Oh, I had forgotten the rascal; merely that he coolly suggests that I
+should take him on again. He wasn't a bad servant, you know, quite what
+a servant should be--a mere machine. I wonder what made him bolt in that
+unaccountable way, Lucy?"
+
+"Didn't we tell you?" said the girl. "It was some lovers' quarrel
+between him and Hephzibah; she was never the same girl after he
+disappeared; quite a little back-stairs comedy."
+
+"Which turned into a tragedy though when the poor girl died," said the
+squire; "I suppose when he bolted she broke her heart."
+
+"You are getting quite romantic, uncle," said Lucy; "people in her class
+of life don't break their hearts, they only do their work worse than
+usual."
+
+"I know one thing," said Haggard, "he was the best man I ever had, and
+if it wasn't for his confounded cheek, I should be glad to get him back.
+I suppose if I did though he'd commence upon Fanchette, and turn her
+head."
+
+"I fancy Fanchette can take very good care of herself. I don't think
+you need hesitate on her account if you really want him," carelessly
+threw in Miss Warrender.
+
+"It wouldn't be a bad idea," said Haggard meditatively. "My present
+fellow insists on smoking my cigars, and absolutely declines to wear my
+new boots. I hate wearing boots for the first time. I think I'll give
+the fellow a chance after all."
+
+A week afterwards Maurice Capt was installed. To Lucy's intense
+astonishment, not one word did he breathe to her of his researches at
+the secluded village of Auray. But she felt that they understood one
+another. Gradually she came to the conclusion that she had bought the
+valet's silence at a very cheap price. He was glad to get back his good
+place, and that was probably all he wanted; he dropped no hint or
+innuendo of his discoveries, if he had made any, and he made no attempt
+at blackmailing.
+
+Mademoiselle Fanchette was at first very attentive to the valet, and
+seemed to think less than ever of the "_homme_" in Algeria. But Mr.
+Capt, though very courteous to Fanchette, did not respond to her
+advances; perhaps he was yet sorrowing for the dead Hephzibah. Still
+Fanchette secured a gossip to whom she could confide her numerous
+troubles, and Haggard felt that he had done wisely in having once more
+obtained the invaluable services of the faithful Swiss.
+
+It has been stated that the King's Warreners were divided into two
+religious camps--the upper classes and the labourers going to church,
+while the smaller tradespeople sat under the Reverend Boanerges Smiter,
+an eloquent young Baptist minister, who had wrestled in vain for thirty
+years of his life with cruel letter H. It was the dream of Mr. Smiter's
+life to empty the old-fashioned pews of the parish church. With this
+intention he worked hard; he preached, he lectured, he even at
+considerable trouble obtained a sort of reputation as a pulpit comedian,
+but he forgot that the seats of Gilgal Chapel were hard, while the old
+baize-lined pews at King's Warren Church were high and comfortable, and
+seemed to say to their occupants, "Here your slumbers will be
+undisturbed," also that the vicar never preached for more than twenty
+minutes. Rev. B. Smiter (for somehow or other the definite article is
+always left out before the title of a dissenting minister) was an
+ingenious man. It was through his exertions that Gilgal stood proudly
+upon its own freehold, and that it possessed actual cash at the bank.
+When Mr. Smiter first came to King's Warren the funds of Gilgal Chapel
+were in a very bad state indeed. The community was in debt for rent, the
+pastor lived in a little lodging in the village, his stipend was of the
+smallest, and the chapel was badly out of repair. But Rev. Boanerges
+Smiter was equal to the occasion. He was the original inventor of the
+Great Avalanche System. He got into his little pulpit one day, and he
+preached his great sermon on the text "Ask and ye shall have," and then
+he explained to his hearers the details of the Great Avalanche System.
+He told them, what they well knew, that they were in King's Warren a
+comparatively small body of relatively poor people. "Many a time and
+oft," said he, "have my predecessors stood here, and urged you, my dear
+brothers and sisters, to give to the needs of this chapel. My
+predecessors have ever resembled the young ravens in their persistent
+cry, 'Give, Give;' and you, my dear brothers and sisters, have given,
+you've responded manfully, but what has been the result? Gilgal is as
+badly off as ever. We are but a small handful of Israelites in a great
+land of Egypt, and we are oppressed by Pharaoh; for Pharaoh, clad in
+purple and fine linen, takes tithes of all we possess." (Did he refer to
+poor Jack Dodd as Pharaoh?) "But you will all remember that Moses
+ordered the children of Israel to spoil the Egyptians, and it will be
+our duty, nay our privilege, to do to these modern Egyptians as did our
+prototypes, the children of Israel, to Pharaoh and his subjects. What
+does Gilgal want? Gilgal wants to be out of debt. Gilgal wants a
+suitable residence for its pastor. Gilgal wants a new roof, and Gilgal
+would be all the better for a new organ. Now, my friends, did the
+Egyptians assist the unfortunate Israelites? Not a bit of it. Why they
+wouldn't even give them straw to make their bricks with. But though they
+wouldn't give them any straw, yet they yielded up to them after a time
+their jewels of silver and their jewels of gold, for we read that the
+Israelites spoiled the Egyptians. I am going to ask you for your
+charity, and I am going to head the subscription myself. Don't be cast
+down, my friends, at the single shilling which your pastor is about to
+subscribe. I trust that we shall obtain the roof, the freehold, the
+suitable residence for the pastor, nay, even the organ; for fifteen
+hundred pounds will do all this. Fifteen hundred pounds seems a large
+sum to you, my brethren, but it is easily to be obtained. And remark
+the pleasant fact that it will be obtained from the Egyptians. It is
+your charity I ask, but not your money, for the charity I require is
+simply vicarious. Let me go more into detail and make myself thoroughly
+understood. How is an avalanche first formed? A tiny mass of snow slips
+down from the top of some lofty mountain; that tiny mass is my original
+shilling. As the mass falls, it sets in motion other portions larger
+than itself. Gradually at first, and slowly, the little heap slides down
+the steep declivity. Its velocity increases, as does its volume--it at
+length becomes irresistible; enormously and indefinitely multiplied, it
+at last reaches the valley, no longer a tiny mass of snow, but a vast
+avalanche, which carries all before it, trees, rocks, and even villages
+being torn away by the irresistible force of the tremendous aggregation.
+Such is the Great Avalanche System. I am 'A,' and I subscribe a
+shilling. I now call upon four of you to stand up, each in his place,
+and you four will each contribute but a humble shilling."
+
+All the adults in the congregation of Gilgal stood up as one man.
+
+"No, my friends," said the pastor, "I need but four, but four female
+friends. Four of my sisters will be my 'B's,' my busy bees; each 'B'
+will select four 'C's,' from each of whom she will obtain a shilling.
+She will register their names and addresses, and request them to do as
+she herself has done, and each four 'D's' to contribute a similar
+amount; and so on, my friends, through all the letters of the alphabet.
+
+"The human heart is hard. There are many of us who would look twice at
+that shilling if we were asked for it as a simple contribution. But it
+is not a simple contribution, for it carries with it a privilege--it
+enables the person who has paid his or her shilling to exact a similar
+amount from four personal friends; and though the original giver has
+contributed but a single shilling, that giver has the pleasure of
+handing in an amount which is practically incalculable. I know the
+world, my brethren, and I know that as a rule the world is very glad
+indeed to get off for a shilling. Alas, many of the most active
+contributors to the numerous Missionary Societies of this country never
+put a single penny into the missionary boxes with which they are always
+glad to be provided; for the missionary box is an outward and visible
+sign of respectability, and a perpetual rod in pickle for friends,
+relatives, and rebellious children.
+
+"Already, my friends, in my mind's eye I see Gilgal standing proudly
+upon its own freehold, I see it provided with the roof it so much needs,
+and mentally I already dwell in the comfortable residence allotted to
+its pastor. I even hear the sweet strains of the much-desired American
+organ. And all this is no dream; in a few short weeks, my friends, it
+will be a delightful reality. And what will be our chief incentive to
+the work? Why the fact that all this money has been obtained, not from
+the little congregation of Gilgal, but from the Egyptian, from haughty
+Pharaoh and his countless host."
+
+Then he gave out the hymn.
+
+Rev. Boanerges Smiter was right. The thing came off. The money poured
+in, and the Reverend Smiter's original shilling was turned, as by the
+touch of the enchanter's wand, into fifteen hundred pounds. Thirty
+thousand victims had been indirectly teased and pestered by Smiter, at
+the least possible amount of trouble to himself; but all had had their
+revenge, save the last batch, in finding four other shilling victims,
+and each of them had obtained for a ridiculously small sum a character
+for active benevolence. Who is there in this wicked world who would not
+consider a character for active benevolence cheap at a shilling?
+
+It was indirectly due to Rev. B. Smiter that the vicar received the
+cruel snubbing which was a joke against him in King's Warren for the
+rest of his natural life. The congregation of Gilgal held open-air
+meetings upon the village green at the end of summer as a sort of
+counter demonstration to the harvest festivals of the church. There was
+no Salvation Army in those days, and in a little place like King's
+Warren even such a mild excitement as an open-air meeting is very
+welcome. Besides the real congregation on the village green there was
+always a considerable gallery of curious onlookers, "scoffers," as they
+were termed by the "elect." Rev. B. Smiter had been very successful at
+these meetings. They really did a certain amount of good, for some who
+had come to laugh remained to pray. In the particular summer to which I
+am referring Mr. Smiter had gone to the expense of engaging what in
+theatrical circles would be termed a popular favourite. This was the
+well-known 'Appy 'Arry.
+
+'Appy 'Arry was a character in his way. He had been a noted pugilist; he
+had even fought for the championship, and he took the punishment he
+received on that memorable occasion in a very plucky manner. If 'Arry
+had won the fight he would doubtless have subsided into the pugilist's
+well-merited haven of rest--a sporting public house. But the fates
+willed it otherwise, and 'Arry was converted and took to religion. The
+man was perfectly sincere, and many a rough fellow owed his conversion
+from drink and debauchery to 'Appy 'Arry. His was a rude kind of
+eloquence that went straight to the hearts of the majority of his male
+hearers. He would retail his exciting experiences as a pugilist and a
+drunkard with much gusto. He would tell in minute detail the history of
+his great but unsuccessful struggle for the champion's belt; and as he
+dilated on the wicked glories of his former life he would say with a
+pleasant smile, "And was I 'appy, my brothers? No, I was not 'appy, for
+I hadn't got religion."
+
+Haggard and the vicar were looking on at one of the revival meetings,
+and 'Appy 'Arry was holding forth with his accustomed fervour.
+
+"I've given it all up now. I don't associate with the swells now. Many's
+the time, my brethren, as I've had on the gloves with dooks and
+baronites, and other sporting swells," and here his eye fell upon the
+amused countenance of the Reverend John Dodd. "Ay, and with fighting
+parsons, too," he said.
+
+The Reverend Jack blushed.
+
+"But I looks on 'em now as men of sin; they used to be proud to shake
+'ands with 'Arry in his bad days, but I've shook 'em off, my brothers,
+and I don't foregather now with the likes of them. Don't you think it's
+no yarns I'm telling you, my friends; why, there's one of 'em now,
+a-looking on. Oh, how I wish that fighting parson was as 'appy as I am
+now; and if he'd only listen to me in a proper spirit he might be; but
+he won't, my brethren, and why won't he? Because 'is 'art is 'ard.
+Many's the merry round I've 'ad with the gloves with 'Andsome Jack Dodd,
+as is a-standing there. Why, he was one of my backers when I fought the
+butcher on Moulsey Hurst, and licked him, too, for the matter of that!
+'Andsome Jack Dodd was proud to shake 'ands with 'Arry in those days.
+But will 'Appy 'Arry shake hands with him now? No, my brethren. And for
+why? Becos he ain't got religion."
+
+And then the preacher sat down, and Haggard and the Rev. John Dodd beat
+a hasty retreat. Haggard told the story to Mrs. Dodd that very evening.
+It was a rather mean thing to do, but Haggard was a man of impulse.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER VIII.
+
+  THE VICAR TRIES PUFFIN.
+
+
+It must not be supposed that all the religious activity in King's Warren
+was confined to the Dissenters. The Reverend John Dodd was a fine
+old-crusted Tory; the world had gone very well with him. He had his
+cross, of course, in the shape of his wife Cecilia, and the Reverend B.
+Smiter was a very thorn in his flesh; but his living was a good living,
+and his peaches and his port wine were unsurpassed in the county. His
+archdeacon was an old personal friend of his own, and I am afraid that
+the post-prandial conversations of the two when the archdeacon made his
+yearly visitations and Mrs. Dodd had left them to themselves, turned
+more upon vintages and things of this world than on church matters. But
+a young and active bishop, of High Church tendencies, now reigned in
+the neighbouring cathedral, and the archdeacon in a friendly manner
+suggested to Dodd that it behoved him to set his house in order.
+
+"We must move with the times, Dodd," he said. "The bishop is a man of
+six-and-thirty and an enthusiast. I am sorry to say he is no respecter
+of persons. There is no doubt, my friend, that dissent has spread in
+this parish of late years with frightful rapidity." He spoke of it as if
+it were a disease. "What you want is an energetic coadjutor, and you
+can't do better than try Puffin. Puffin has been a Missioner, and he is
+a wonderful organizer. If you want to be in the bishop's good books you
+should try Puffin. He'll take every sort of trouble off your hands; all
+you have to do is to give him plenty of rope. He has his peculiarities,
+but he is honest in his way, and he did wonders at the East End, where
+he nearly killed himself by overwork. You won't keep him long, you
+know, for Puffin's a man certain of good preferment. He'll fill your
+church, and if anything will stop the insidious progress of dissent in
+the place, it's Puffin."
+
+"But, my dear fellow, we are very comfortable as we are. I hate a
+clerical firebrand. Why can't we rub along comfortably for the rest of
+my time?"
+
+"The days of rubbing along, Dodd, are gone by. As the bishop puts it,
+the Church in these latter days must be a Church militant, or it will
+cease to exist."
+
+"But it needn't become a Church pugnacious for all that," said Dodd.
+
+"My dear fellow, if we were certain that I should be archdeacon for ever
+you might, as you put it, go on rubbing along. But the king who knew not
+Joseph has arrived. Our spiritual head is a man who will stand no
+nonsense. If you don't follow his lead, he will look upon you as
+refractory. Don't be refractory, Dodd; try Puffin. You will find him a
+perfect panacea."
+
+"But I don't believe in panaceas," said Dodd; "the fellow will set the
+whole place by the ears before he has been here a month. Why, in this
+village the aggrieved parishioner does not even exist. If a man doesn't
+like the church he takes sittings in the chapel, and there is an end of
+the thing."
+
+"My dear fellow, you mistake the matter altogether. Now-a-days, a real,
+good, wrong-headed aggrieved parishioner is exactly what you do want. He
+keeps you before the public, and brings you to the favourable notice of
+your spiritual head."
+
+"But look at the fuss, the letters, and the lawsuits."
+
+"With a new bishop, Dodd, and a man like Puffin at your back, though
+there would be lots of fuss, it need not trouble you. Puffin would write
+all the letters; and as for the lawsuits, you would win them, and the
+costs would not come out of your pocket. Puffin, of course, sails rather
+close to the wind, if I may be allowed the expression, but he knows
+exactly how far he can go. In fact, Dodd, though he puts his candles
+upon the altar he never lights them, except at evensong, and then he
+knows he can do so with impunity."
+
+And then they gradually began to talk about the wine.
+
+The result of this conversation was that the Reverend John Dodd hastened
+to secure the services of that energetic priest the Reverend Barnes
+Puffin.
+
+Mr. Puffin arrived at the Vicarage looking very much like an ordinary
+clergyman, save that the round black felt that he wore had a brim of
+portentous width; and Mrs. Dodd noticed with some astonishment that the
+white tie, which all clergymen of her acquaintance habitually wore, was
+conspicuous by its absence, and that the new curate appeared to have put
+on his collar wrong side before. At first it was a mystery to her how
+he could have got into that collar. There was certainly no visible means
+of entrance in front. Puffin wore his hair very long indeed, while the
+whole of his face was clean shaven. Mrs. Dodd, too, gave a start when he
+proceeded to address her as "his dear sister;" but she was still more
+astonished when he removed his long clerical great-coat and she saw that
+the Reverend Barnes Puffin was clad in a long black garment with
+innumerable little buttons running from his neck to within two inches of
+the ground. Around his waist was a long black sash with a silken fringe.
+As he gave the vicar's wife his arm, when they went in to dinner, he
+suddenly produced from his pocket a little square cap, which he placed
+upon his head. He did full justice to the stewed eels, with which the
+meal commenced; but he never removed the little cap during the whole of
+the entertainment, nor could the vicar and his wife persuade him to
+partake of any of the numerous dainties which composed the rest of the
+feast. At first he said he wasn't hungry. A curate who refused _entrées_
+was a novelty to Mrs. Dodd.
+
+"I fear you are not well, Mr. Puffin," she said as he declined woodcock
+on toast.
+
+"Dear Mrs. Dodd, I remember that it is the Eve of St. Radegonde, Virgin
+and Martyr."
+
+The vicar and his wife looked at one another; but they respected Mr.
+Puffin's prejudices, and ceased to press him.
+
+The next day the reign of the Reverend Barnes Puffin commenced. The old
+church, where service had been held as seldom as possible from time
+immemorial, was now thrown open daily for matins and evensong. At first
+there was no congregation; but the Reverend Barnes Puffin looked up all
+the old pensioners, particularly the old women who were in receipt of
+parish relief at home, and in his persuasive but forcible way he made
+all these poor old people understand that their comforts, for which
+they had hitherto given nothing in return, would depend upon good
+behaviour, that is to say, going to church. Nor did Mr. Puffin confine
+his ministrations to the lower orders. How he managed it I don't know;
+but before he had been three months in the place most of the younger
+ladies in the parish flocked to the services. I suppose he made love to
+them in a quiet, clerical sort of way. The Misses Sleek, looking as
+plump and pretty as ever, but dressed with a prim demureness which
+considerably astonished their father, were among his first converts; and
+they used to hurry to church on foot twice a day with praiseworthy
+regularity. They considered themselves well rewarded if the curate
+walked home with them occasionally to dinner, and so beatified The Park
+by his presence. But Mr. Puffin egregiously failed with Miss Grains.
+She, too, had felt inclined at first to place her conscience in Mr.
+Puffin's hands; but young Mr. Wurzel, an easy-going fellow enough at
+most times, objected to Puffin's addressing his affianced bride, save
+from the pulpit, as "his dear sister." He had even told Miss Grains that
+he looked upon Mr. Puffin as a "philanderer," and that "he didn't hold
+with philanderers." So Miss Grains made no alteration in her costume,
+and she turned a deaf ear to Mr. Puffin's ecclesiastical authority.
+
+It was not long before King's Warren Church rejoiced in a surpliced
+choir. There was rather a martial clang of hob-nailed boots during the
+numerous processions of the choir on Sundays; but the service was
+undoubtedly much more imposing than in the old days. Mr. Puffin did
+wonders with the small material at his command. He would have made an
+admirable stage-manager. He never missed a possible effect, and he
+considerably astonished the King's Warreners when he preached his first
+funeral sermon. He was a good preacher, and always held the attention of
+the congregation. But perhaps some few of them smiled when he led up to
+the fact that the silver cord was loosed and the golden bowl broken, in
+an ornate and sensational harangue reaching an unexpected climax by
+tilting over the tumbler at his side, which fell with a crash and was
+shivered in a thousand pieces on the floor. There were no sleepers in
+King's Warren Church when the Reverend Barnes Puffin graced the pulpit
+after that. And yet Puffin was a sincere man, and worked energetically
+according to his lights.
+
+But it was an evil day for the Reverend Barnes Puffin when he felt it to
+be his duty to attempt the conversion of Lucy Warrender. She was the one
+black sheep of the fold, for she had committed the unpardonable sin--she
+had laughed at Mr. Puffin. A girl may differ with a modern parson, she
+may argue with him; nay, she may refuse to argue with him at all, but
+she must not laugh at him, and Lucy had done this. Had she not
+irreverently compared him to Samson, and wickedly declared that she
+would like to be a Delilah to shear with her own hands his too redundant
+locks? Had she not told him that it was rude to wear the little square
+hat, which he persisted in calling a _baretta_, in the presence of
+ladies? Had she not openly asserted her belief that he wore a hair shirt
+and scourged himself in private? These are only a few of the many crimes
+of which Miss Warrender had been guilty. It was evidently the duty of
+the Reverend Barnes Puffin to convert Miss Warrender without loss of
+time.
+
+Puffin was always well received at The Warren; he amused the squire by
+the seriousness of his arguments about trifling things. For every thing
+that he did, for every little bob, bow or gesture, the Reverend Barnes
+Puffin had a very good reason. Nothing that he did was trifling; it was
+always symbolical of something. According to him, for every movement of
+his body there was a ritual reason why. It became a sort of custom at
+The Warren that as soon as dessert was upon the table, the Reverend
+Barnes Puffin was allowed to mount his hobby-horse and wildly career. He
+liked to give what he called a little information on sacred things, and
+he made the most of his opportunities, for he never had a long innings,
+as he always retired with the ladies.
+
+One evening the Reverend Barnes Puffin was seated in the drawing-room at
+The Warren conversing with the cousins. Fanchette, in all the pride of
+her Norman costume, was bringing the little Lucius to bid his mother
+good-night. Now Fanchette, from his cassock, his sash, his _baretta_,
+and the collar which had so puzzled poor Mrs. Dodd, had always looked
+upon the Reverend Barnes Puffin as a veritable Catholic priest, and
+respected him accordingly. She made him a succession of low courtesies,
+and placing the little Lucius in his mother's arms, she advanced towards
+the curate in a respectful manner. To his intense astonishment she
+suddenly dropped on her knees at his side, seized his hand, and covered
+it with kisses. Then, in fluent patois, she demanded his blessing. But
+the curate, unfortunately, did not understand a word she said. Like most
+curates, he was accustomed to the blandishments which are invariably
+lavished by the female sex on these most fortunate of men. Interesting
+penitents had made eyes at him, had squeezed his hand at parting with
+unnecessary pressure, had loaded him with slippers, vestments, and socks
+and comforters knitted by their own fair fingers. They had even obtained
+interviews, and had wickedly taken the opportunity of the _tête-à-tête_
+to make violent love to him; but never, in the whole course of his
+clerical experience, had any of his "dear sisters" suddenly dropped on
+their knees at his side and violently kissed his hand. Puffin was by no
+means a vain man. But what could he think? Here was a foreign woman, of
+prepossessing appearance, administering sounding osculations to his
+unwilling fingers.
+
+"Ladies, dear ladies," he said, as he rose to his feet, the _bonne_
+still clinging to his hand and kissing it furiously, "this is most
+irregular." Here he strove with gentle dignity to try to withdraw his
+hand, but all to no purpose. "Ladies," he said, blushing violently, and
+speaking of Fanchette as if she had been an infuriated bull-terrier,
+"call her off. Please call her off."
+
+But the cousins were far too amused at the incident to come to his
+assistance. Georgie could not forbear a smile, while Lucy burst into
+inextinguishable peals of silvery laughter.
+
+"She wants your blessing, Mr. Puffin, that's all," said Lucy at length.
+
+"Then she should come to church, Miss Warrender," exclaimed Mr. Puffin,
+to whose hand the _bonne_ clung, alternately kissing it and gazing up at
+him with imploring eyes.
+
+"She thinks you are a Catholic priest," exclaimed Lucy.
+
+"This is too horrible," cried the Reverend Barnes Puffin, as he vainly
+struggled to release the imprisoned hand.
+
+"Ah, _mon père_," vociferated the _bonne_.
+
+"Goodness me, she says I'm her father; pray explain, dear ladies. Is her
+mind affected?"
+
+And then Miss Warrender did explain to her.
+
+On hearing that the unhappy curate was not a priest of her own Church,
+but only, as Lucy had expressed it, a heretical Protestant pastor,
+Fanchette's demeanour changed altogether.
+
+"_Ah, gredin, farceur, monsieur est en travesti. Saperlotte_," she
+added, and here she snapped her fingers in the astonished curate's face,
+and abruptly left the room.
+
+The curate sank into a chair and wiped his brow with his
+pocket-handkerchief.
+
+"Goodness me, ladies," he said, "what a terrible person! I assure you I
+didn't mean to exasperate her."
+
+From that day Fanchette ceased her respectful obeisances to the curate,
+but his visits to The Warren, where he was always a welcome guest,
+became gradually more frequent.
+
+It is human nature after all ever to strive after the impossible, and
+Mr. Puffin recognizing in Miss Warrender a young lady who was
+essentially of the world worldly, naturally determined to attempt her
+conversion. But the spirit of contrariety is ever strongly developed in
+the female breast. As the parson became more pertinacious, Miss
+Warrender, who was at first rather bored than otherwise by his
+eloquence, resolved upon reprisals.
+
+"I'll bet you a new bonnet," she had said to Haggard, "that I make the
+Celibate propose to me."
+
+"Not he, my dear," said Georgie's husband with a laugh. "Puffin's not
+altogether a fool after all; he's got the run of his teeth in this
+house, and he won't care to lose it by making an ass of himself."
+
+"My dear Miss Warrender, my husband's curate considers himself as vowed
+to heaven," said Mrs. Dodd, who was present.
+
+"They all do, Mrs. Dodd, till they find metal more attractive. I daresay
+even Mr. Dodd considered himself at one time as vowed to heaven."
+
+"There is no analogy, Miss Warrender, between my husband's case and that
+of Mr. Puffin. When Mr. Dodd proposed to me, Miss Warrender, he did so
+as a beneficed clergyman; and he proposed to the daughter of a dignitary
+of the Church. Had Mr. Dodd been a curate, he would not have so far
+forgotten his position as to have been guilty of so presumptuous an
+act."
+
+"But I'm only Squire Warrender's niece, Mrs. Dodd; there would be no
+presumption in my case."
+
+"Don't buoy yourself up with false hopes, Lucy. Were Mr. Puffin to be
+guilty of such unseemly folly, it would be my duty, as his vicar's wife,
+to seriously remonstrate with him; and should he prove obdurate, even to
+dispense with his services. The position of a clergyman's wife, Lucy
+Warrender, is full of difficulty and responsibility," she added
+sententiously.
+
+"That's what makes me long for it so, Mrs. Dodd. I yearn to feel myself
+lifted out of the common ruck of women."
+
+"You are unmaidenly, Lucy Warrender," said the vicar's wife, instantly
+assuming her favourite tone of a Lord Chief Justice.
+
+Miss Hood smiled, for she felt that the badinage was sober earnest to
+Mrs. Dodd; but she made no remark, for Lucy was long ago out of leading
+strings.
+
+When the vicar's wife reached her home, she sent for Mr. Puffin. After
+she had shaken hands with him, she came to the point at once.
+
+"I trust you are comfortable here, Mr. Puffin," she said, "and that you
+find King's Warren a congenial sphere."
+
+"I do indeed, dear madam," replied the curate. "We have already
+accomplished much, but there is yet an abundant field of work in the
+place. I am very happy here."
+
+"I have a dreadful communication to make to you, Mr. Puffin. A member of
+the congregation has confided to me the disgraceful fact of her personal
+infatuation for my husband's curate."
+
+"This is sad, Mrs. Dodd, this is very sad; but it is not wholly
+unexpected. Clergymen, as you are aware, dear madam, are constantly
+exposed to these annoyances in the course of their ministrations. You
+allude, I conclude, to the younger Miss Sleek. I have noticed latterly
+her marked assiduity in attendance at church--the most unseasonable
+weather has failed to keep her away. I half feared that it would be so.
+Alas, girls are apt to forget the priest in the man. But this is a new
+kind of experience to me, Mrs. Dodd, for I have found that they usually
+first confide their folly to the object of their aspirations."
+
+"No, Mr. Puffin, it is not Miss Sleek to whom I allude; nothing would
+surprise me with regard to her. There is no folly that young persons in
+her class of life might not be guilty of. It is not the younger Miss
+Sleek, though she is an ambitious girl, but the squire's near relative
+who has confessed a wicked passion for my husband's curate."
+
+"Gracious me," cried Mr. Puffin. "Can you possibly allude to young Mrs.
+Haggard?"
+
+"Mr. Puffin, you forget yourself. No, it is Miss Warrender who has
+confided to me her infamous secret."
+
+Mr. Puffin turned pale, then he blushed to the roots of his hair; he
+sighed deeply, and then he simpered. The vicar's wife drummed
+impatiently upon the table.
+
+"Oh, Mr. Puffin," she said, "you don't mean to say that you reciprocate
+this? How often have you protested to me that you were a Celibate, a
+priest; and now you do nothing but sit and snigger. I'm grieved; I'm
+disappointed in you, Mr. Puffin."
+
+"Dear Mrs. Dodd," said the poor parson, "your communication has taken me
+by surprise. At first it horrified me. I am a priest, Mrs. Dodd," he
+said, "it is true; but, alas, I also remember that I am a man." He
+buried his face in his hands.
+
+Mrs. Dodd sat immovable, looking at the curate with an astonished gaze;
+and then she suddenly left the room and slammed the door violently.
+
+The transformation was as thorough as it was sudden; the Reverend Barnes
+Puffin had entered that room the humble coadjutor of the vicar's wife;
+as he left it, he felt his soul soar into higher regions: as Orientals
+put it, "his head was touching the skies." Mrs. Dodd looked out of her
+breakfast room window to watch the departure of him who she mentally
+termed "the fallen man."
+
+But the fallen man considerably astonished her by the change in his
+appearance. Mr. Puffin, who was accustomed to walk slowly and with
+downcast eyes, as became a celibate priest, now strode down the drive;
+he didn't walk, he strode. He swung his walking-stick defiantly in the
+air, and to her astonishment Mrs. Dodd perceived that, ere he left the
+place, he committed the brutal act of beheading one of her favourite
+poppies with a sort of swashbuckler-stroke that would have done credit
+to a Life Guardsman.
+
+Flutter on, happy clerical butterfly, your bliss will be of short
+duration; for that careful entomologist, Miss Lucy Warrender, is
+already preparing the sharp needle that shall transfix your little
+triumphant heart.
+
+Puffin, as he passed through the village, returned the many salutations
+he received with joyous bows, and the wiseacres noticed that his broad
+brimmed clerical hat was now worn with a triumphant cock.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER IX.
+
+  MR. PUFFIN HUNTS A BUTTERFLY.
+
+
+The Reverend John Dodd had been more than satisfied with his new curate.
+At first the long cassock, the flowing robes, and the rather eccentric
+"make up" of the man had been a daily outrage to the vicar's idea of
+decency. Mr. Puffin was not the first curate in the vicar's experience
+who had sought notoriety by a fantastic dress; but Mr. Puffin worked
+hard in the parish, Mr. Puffin was eloquent, and the vicar felt certain
+that the Established Church in King's Warren was gaining ground. He was
+rather gratified than otherwise to hear that Mr. Puffin had begun to
+waver in his ideas about celibacy. Puffin as an engaged man might be
+somewhat less divine, but he would be assuredly more human. Dodd himself
+didn't see why Mr. Puffin should not become the husband of Miss
+Warrender. Puffin was a clergyman, and a gentleman; and the Reverend
+John Dodd rubbed his hands as he thought of the inevitable struggle for
+mastery which would take place between the pair should the marriage ever
+come off. And after all, more unlikely things than this marriage had
+happened. Miss Warrender certainly had had her fling, but a girl can't
+go on having her fling for ever, and the vicar chuckled as he thought of
+Lucy as the Celibate's wife. Unconsciously perhaps the curate had
+assumed an air of superiority to his vicar, for as a Celibate he would
+naturally look down upon him as a being of a coarser clay, a mere
+earthen pot; but this had only amused his good-natured chief, and the
+Reverend John Dodd smiled as he thought of the gentle vengeance he might
+have, when the enamoured Puffin should take him into his confidence.
+
+He sat down to dinner in the best of tempers. When he perceived that he
+was to be regaled with a veal sweetbread with brown sauce, his eyes were
+lighted up with a merry twinkle. But he felt that there was something in
+the wind; he knew that that delectable propitiatory sacrifice was only
+offered to his critical palate on his birthday, when his wife was in a
+particularly good temper, or when she had a favour to ask. As he looked
+at the partner of his earthly joys, it was plainly apparent to him that
+Mrs. Dodd was ruffled; it was not his birthday, so he had a second
+helping of the delicacy and made up his mind to yield to the inevitable
+demand with the best possible grace. But not till they were alone did
+his wife unbosom herself.
+
+"John," she said, "I've come to the conclusion that Mr. Puffin must
+leave us; a curate ceases to be of use in a parish the moment he makes
+himself ridiculous, and Mr. Puffin tells me that he is determined to
+make a fool of himself. I could have passed over his peculiarities,
+John," she said, "and his eccentricities in dress; I could even have
+forgiven his long hair, in consideration of the immense amount of work
+he manages to get through; but he is about to render himself unsuitable.
+I approve of ambition in a clergyman; my dear father is an ambitious
+man, and he has prospered, though not perhaps according to his great
+deserts; but worldly ambition, the thirst for gold, is unbecoming in a
+clergyman. To my mind, it is painfully apparent that Mr. Puffin, who
+ought to be actuated by far higher motives, is prepared to sacrifice
+himself to Lucy Warrender, who is a most objectionable young person, in
+order to secure at some future time the presentation to the living of
+King's Warren."
+
+The vicar laughed.
+
+"I mean to live for the next twenty years, my dear, and if Puffin
+intends to put up with twenty years of Lucy Warrender for the sake of
+this living, though it is a fat one, I shall consider that the labourer
+will have been worthy of his hire."
+
+"Don't be profane, John," said the lady reprovingly.
+
+"To do Puffin justice, I don't think he is mercenary. Lucy has probably
+turned his head."
+
+"John, Mr. Puffin is not of an inflammable nature."
+
+"All curates are of an inflammable nature, my dear; why you turned my
+head in your time."
+
+"I trust, Mr. Dodd, that my mental qualities attracted you, and not mere
+physical beauty."
+
+"Of course, my dear, of course; but you were a monstrous fine woman
+then, and for the matter of that, you are still, Cecilia," said the
+vicar, as he helped himself to a third glass of his '47 port.
+
+His wife smiled and smoothed her cap ribbons.
+
+"Don't exceed, John," she said, with a warning gesture, "or Mr. Puffin
+may not have to wait twenty years for his preferment after all. You must
+admonish him, John; a man of his principles, his pretended principles,
+is not suited for married life. He told me himself, that ever since his
+ordination he has assumed what he calls a priestly garb. I ask you,
+John, how could he be married in a cassock? How could he go on his
+honeymoon in it?"
+
+"Well, he could leave it off, my dear."
+
+"But he has declared to me that he never would leave it off. How often
+has he sneered at ordinary clerical attire, though he has never dared to
+suggest that you should masquerade in, what he calls, proper
+ecclesiastical costume."
+
+"There may be reasons, my dear; he may have bandy legs."
+
+"His legs are perfectly indifferent to me, Mr. Dodd. If he wishes to
+marry, he should dress like other people."
+
+"You should suggest that to Lucy Warrender, my dear."
+
+"If I thought for a moment, Mr. Dodd, that there was a possibility of
+his being the means of rescuing the girl by his own self-sacrifice, I
+should not say one word; if he has a taste for martyrdom, it would not
+be for me to interfere; but I know that Lucy is only wickedly
+encouraging him for the sake of winning the bet of a new bonnet from her
+cousin's husband. You must warn and admonish him, John, or he must go.
+Stacey would have been a far more suitable partner for him."
+
+"Why didn't you suggest it, my dear?"
+
+"It is not my duty to secure a husband for my sister-in-law, Mr. Dodd."
+
+"You thought it was, in the squire's case, Cecilia."
+
+But the vicar's wife let the taunt pass by unnoticed.
+
+"If you don't admonish him, John, I must. It will be a thankless office,
+for the wretched man seems bent on his own destruction."
+
+"Well, he has chosen a particularly pleasant form of suicide, Cecilia."
+
+"Flippancy, Mr. Dodd, is not becoming in a clergyman," said his wife
+with a ruffled air, "and it is not good taste for a clergyman to openly
+express his admiration for his female parishioners to his wife, and so
+violate the sanctity of his own fireside."
+
+"I'm not going to make or meddle in the matter, Mrs. Dodd," said her
+husband.
+
+"'Tis a vicar's duty to protect his curate, Mr. Dodd."
+
+"Not when the curate is perfectly well able to take care of himself, my
+dear. Besides, there is another point of view; Lucy might do worse."
+
+"Well, John," she replied, "I shall say no more. I can only hope that it
+is not in a spirit of professional jealousy that you allow this poor
+thoughtless young fellow to rush to his doom." And then she rang for
+coffee.
+
+Next day the Reverend Barnes Puffin lunched at The Warren. Being a feast
+day he did full justice to the meal. He was overflowing with good
+spirits, and as soon as lunch was over he seized the first opportunity
+of securing a _tête-à-tête_ with the squire's niece. As Miss Warrender
+took the arm of the clergyman, she cast an amused and meaning glance at
+Haggard. Little by little the pair wandered away into the secluded rose
+garden, and the Reverend Barnes Puffin felt that he had got his chance.
+
+"Do you care for parish work, Miss Warrender?" said the Celibate, after
+a few commonplace phrases.
+
+"To tell you the truth, Mr. Puffin, I don't know; I have never tried."
+
+"It is a great privilege, you know," he said. "Has it never occurred to
+you, my dear Miss Warrender, that it might be your vocation, your
+natural aim in life."
+
+"No, I don't think it ever has, Mr. Puffin," she said. "I did know a
+girl once, one of my school friends, she joined a sisterhood; you know I
+fancy it was the dress attracted her. She joined a sisterhood, but they
+made the poor thing wear dreadful thick shoes like a man's, and she had
+to scrub floors, which spoilt her pretty hands; poor child, they have
+remained red ever since, and she was glad to marry an army doctor and go
+to China with him. I suppose red hands don't matter in China," the girl
+said meditatively. "No, I don't think I should care to scrub floors, Mr.
+Puffin," and she spread out her taper fingers as though for her own
+inspection.
+
+The curate admired the fingers, and observed with satisfaction that they
+were undecorated by a prohibitive ring.
+
+"There are other spheres, dear Miss Warrender, than sisterhoods. Our
+friend Mrs. Dodd has found a happy and congenial one here in King's
+Warren."
+
+"But then she is a clergyman's wife, Mr. Puffin, and a privileged
+person."
+
+"It is a privilege, Miss Warrender, a great privilege. I'm glad it
+commends itself to you as such."
+
+"Oh, yes; Mrs. Dodd is much to be envied, but then Mrs. Dodd is a very
+clever woman; she, Mr. Puffin, has caught her hare."
+
+"And having caught him, Miss Warrender, she has accommodated him to her
+own taste."
+
+"Hers is a master mind, Mr. Puffin."
+
+"It is perhaps as easy, my dear young lady, to rule by love as to rule
+by fear."
+
+"And much nicer, I should think, Mr. Puffin."
+
+The curate blushed, and then he made an audacious statement.
+
+"Mine is a very accommodating nature, Miss Warrender."
+
+"That's very fortunate for you, Mr. Puffin, for you must have so much
+to put up with from the poor people."
+
+"I have lately been engaged, Miss Warrender, in a very serious mental
+struggle. I am afraid I have been arrogant. I am afraid that I have
+boasted and bragged to my friends and to my parishioners that I was not
+as other men are, that my whole soul was given up to duty, that I was a
+Celibate, not merely from vocation but from inclination. But my feelings
+have undergone a change. At first, dear Miss Warrender, I was
+overpowered by a sense of what I considered my own degradation, but that
+feeling has entirely passed away. I confess to you that when I first
+came here I considered myself on a higher platform to that of most men,
+and I supposed that in obstinately refraining from the ordinary lot of
+clergymen, I mean marriage, that I was exercising a considerable degree
+of self-abnegation, in fact that I was leading a higher life. I now see
+that all this was a wicked error. The Church enjoins penance, and I
+have come to the conclusion from my intimate acquaintance with the
+sufferings of my unfortunate vicar, that instead of making a sacrifice
+in abstaining from matrimony I was actually guilty of profound and
+calculating selfishness. I see, too, that a married clergyman in giving
+up the idea of celibacy secures at least one efficient coadjutor in his
+parish work. As you know, Miss Warrender, I am in the habit of acting
+upon my convictions."
+
+"Then of course, Mr. Puffin, you will at once seek to secure the hand of
+some particularly objectionable person, in order to render the touching
+martyrdom you speak of the more meritorious?"
+
+"No, Miss Warrender, I shall not look upon that as a bounden duty. My
+position as a Celibate has many advantages from a professional point of
+view, for the female portion of my parishioners are enabled to look upon
+me as one of themselves."
+
+"Oh, I don't quite think that, Mr. Puffin; of course there is
+something--well, epicene about your dress, but then to some minds, you
+know, the clerical dress has a great attractiveness. Why the Louis
+Quatorze abbés, that we see so much of in comic opera, were terribly
+wicked people, you know, Mr. Puffin, and _they_ clung very tightly to
+the clerical dress, and so did Tartuffe for the matter of that."
+
+"Dear Miss Warrender, the cleric garb is but a delightful reminiscence
+of a past time; there is nothing ridiculous in it. You have the same
+thing in the Blue Coat boy, and there is assuredly nothing ridiculous in
+a Blue Coat boy."
+
+"Quite the contrary, Mr. Puffin; it is rather romantic than otherwise,
+but I can't fancy a full-grown man in yellow stockings, and
+a--hem--undivided skirt. By the way, Mr. Puffin, I can give you a
+suggestion: if you did really carry out your ideas and marry after all,
+you might adopt the Blue Coat costume as a sort of sign of your
+apostacy, a kind of _san benito_; you would still be retaining the
+mediæval idea, you see, and be thoroughly distinguishable from Tartuffe
+and the wicked abbés we were talking about."
+
+"In matters of dress, Miss Warrender, did I become a married man I
+should naturally defer to the wishes of my wife."
+
+"You don't mean to say that you would dress like other people?"
+
+"Yes, Miss Warrender, I should do so, though it would not be without a
+pang that I should relinquish what I look upon as the true clerical
+garb."
+
+"Don't think of it, Mr. Puffin, don't think of it, for an instant. The
+noble savage in his war-paint, his wampum, his feathers and his scalps,
+is a dignified object; but dress him in a suit of common clothes and cut
+his hair and he ceases to be interesting."
+
+"Do you really think, Miss Warrender, that I should lose influence if I
+adopted the costume of ordinary life, should I enter upon the perilous
+sea of matrimony?"
+
+"Well, Mr. Puffin, if you dressed like other people and married, I don't
+see how, to use your own expression, 'the female members of your
+congregation could continue to look upon you as one of themselves,'
+because if they did, you see you would be only Mrs. Puffin's sister
+after all."
+
+"Yes, I am afraid that is the _reductio ad absurdum_. But we are
+wandering away, Miss Warrender; it was about my heart, and not about my
+garments, that I sought to converse with you."
+
+"Oh, Mr. Puffin, I should make the worst of confidants; I never by any
+chance keep a secret."
+
+"And yet I am ready to trust your discretion, Miss Warrender."
+
+"I confess you rouse my curiosity. Do I know the lady?"
+
+"Yes, Miss Warrender, she is your best friend and your worst enemy."
+
+"Now you intrigue me, Mr. Puffin, for all my acquaintances address me as
+their dearest Lucy, and as for my enemies--I've guessed it, Mr. Puffin.
+I never had an enemy till Mr. Sleek's hay making. I suppose Miss Connie
+Sleek is the bride-elect. Let me congratulate you, Mr. Puffin, but do
+tell me one thing, it is so interesting--what are Miss Sleek's ideas
+about the clerical garb?"
+
+"I fear you wilfully misunderstand me, Miss Warrender. My aspirations
+are higher. I do not think Miss Sleek would ever be the ideal wife for a
+clergyman."
+
+"You mystify me, Mr. Puffin."
+
+Mr. Puffin possessed a copy of the "Bab Ballads." He remembered two
+lines in them that gave him that hope which they say springs eternal in
+the human breast.
+
+    "It isn't so much the lover who woos,
+    As the lover's way of wooing."
+
+He remembered that Mr. Gilbert's successful lover came to the point at
+once, so, to use a hunting simile, he sat well down in his saddle, and
+he hardened his heart.
+
+"Dear Miss Warrender," he said, and there was a certain amount of
+dignity about the man, despite his long hair and his eccentric
+appearance, "I am only a working clergyman, but I am a gentleman; and I
+wish you, for both our sakes, to share my lot."
+
+Here Lucy Warrender cast down her pretty eyes and smiled, for she felt
+that she had won Haggard's new bonnet fairly and honestly.
+
+The parson continued, taking heart of grace from the false little smile
+upon her lips:
+
+"I'm going to ask you to give up a great deal for the sake of religion,
+and for my sake, Miss Warrender. I'm going to ask you to give up the
+world, its frivolous enjoyments and its pleasures, and to tread with me
+a thorny and toilsome path which leads to higher things. I know my
+presumption, Miss Warrender. I know that in trying to do good according
+to my lights I often merely succeed in making myself ridiculous. If I am
+ridiculous in your eyes, Miss Warrender, you can have but one answer to
+give me. But my proposition to you is at least disinterested. I know you
+will believe that. I don't ask you for an answer now, Miss Warrender. I
+should scorn to snatch a favourable answer from an inexperienced girl."
+
+Lucy gave another little smile.
+
+"Think over what I have said, dear Miss Warrender; if you feel equal to
+making the sacrifice, so do I. Take time to think it over."
+
+"No, Mr. Puffin. I have been foolish and wicked, perhaps, if I have
+unknowingly encouraged you; but you have spoken honestly enough to me,
+and the least you deserve is an honest answer. I am not fit, Mr.
+Puffin, to be any man's wife--any honest man's wife--least of all a
+clergyman's."
+
+Lucy felt that she had said a little too much, so she hastened to
+qualify it.
+
+"I am but a worldly girl. I love pleasure and dissipation; it is my
+nature--a nature I can never change. Look on me, Mr. Puffin, as wholly
+unworthy of you. Were you to marry me, Mr. Puffin, you would commit an
+act that we should both repent. You would degrade yourself to my level;
+and, God knows, mine is a very low level. Take my answer as it is meant
+Mr. Puffin, in seriousness, and as irrevocable. Forgive me, Mr. Puffin,
+and do me one favour. I am utterly bad, Mr. Puffin, but try not to think
+unkindly of me, for I have no friends; and, as you told me just now, I
+am my own worst enemy."
+
+Tears were standing in the pretty eyes. Lucy Warrender was not acting
+now.
+
+The Reverend Barnes Puffin did not press his suit further.
+
+"Good-bye, Miss Warrender," he said, in a choking voice. "But never say
+you have no friends. We may never meet again. I have merited my rebuff,
+but I thank you for your forbearance. And if you ever need a friend, you
+have a faithful one in me."
+
+He pressed her hand and took his leave. As he walked out of the rose
+garden with a dejected air, it was very evident that his wooing had not
+prospered. But Lucy Warrender never asked Haggard to pay his lost wager.
+
+The Reverend Barnes Puffin bore his misfortune like a man. He felt that
+Lucy's determination was final, and that it would be hopeless to try his
+luck again with her; but she hadn't laughed at him, and that was
+something. Still, Mr. Puffin felt that it behoved him to leave King's
+Warren. Just as it is a matter of tradition, an un-written law, that a
+ministry when beaten on a great political question goes out of office,
+so it is the custom among curates who have been unsuccessful in their
+love affairs in the parish, _if the parish is aware of the fact_, to
+tender their resignation. The curate sought an interview with the
+Reverend John Dodd and announced his decision. The vicar did not attempt
+to combat it. A celibate clergyman has many advantages; but a celibate
+clergyman who is prepared to renounce his principles ceases to inspire
+respect among the female portion of his congregation. As a Celibate,
+rapturous maidens will go on sighing and weeping for him, for while he
+represents the Unattainable there is something almost saint-like about
+him; but as a curate who has been refused by a member of his own
+congregation, the nimbus suddenly disappears from his brow; he ceases to
+be a modern apostle, and turns out to be an ordinary and unsuccessful
+fisherman after all. And this is one reason why the modern fisherman
+always carries a creel. Isaac Walton was contented to bring home the
+spoils of his art strung upon an osier; but the modern creel conveys an
+impression of dignity; the natural supposition is that there is
+something in it, hence its popularity.
+
+So the Reverend Barnes Puffin went back to hard work at the east end of
+London, and after a time attained the preferment which the archdeacon
+had prophesied; but he still retains the celibate garb, and in his
+dreams he sees a glorified Lucy Warrender--fair hair, brown eyes and
+all--and the lovely vision is quite sufficient for him. He thinks of her
+as he fondly fancied her, and looks on her as a sort of guardian angel
+still. Who shall grudge him the fond delusion?
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER X.
+
+  A RATHER SHADY CHARACTER.
+
+
+The lower middle classes are a never-failing stalking-horse; we can all
+afford to laugh at them as ridiculous, vulgar, improvident and wicked.
+Even the mock hero, the good young man who tries to raise himself, has
+something comic in him. But we haven't seen anything of the lower orders
+in this history as yet, and it is only incidentally that we quit King's
+Warren for the grimy neighbourhood of St. Luke's. Just behind the great
+hospital for lunatics is Matilda Street. They are all private houses in
+Matilda Street, and from the number of brass plates it seems at first a
+professional sort of neighbourhood. Most of the houses are evidently
+occupied by at least three families, for the right-hand doorpost nearly
+always contains three bells, one for each floor. But the brass plates
+are not those of lawyers and doctors; many of them indicate the places
+of business of working jewellers and watchmakers, and the latter
+predominate; dial painters, engine turners, escapement makers, swivel
+manufacturers and so on, _ad infinitum_. Then there are pianoforte
+tuners, and dealers of many sorts. Those of the plates which have only a
+surname upon them, indicate that the place is a lodging house. Though we
+are in the black heart of London, in one of the darkest, poorest and
+most melancholy quarters, there is a great deal of window gardening
+going on; plants of every kind and sort may be seen on the window
+ledges, from ground floor to attic; the humble Creeping Jenny is a great
+favourite, and it seems to thrive wonderfully in the damp thick
+atmosphere. Some of the ground floor windows are discreetly screened by
+wonderful specimens of lank spindly geraniums--hapless plants which
+have never been known to bloom, but whose sickly-looking leaves of
+abnormal pallor struggle towards the light, what little there is of it.
+Matilda Street, being in the heart of St. Luke's, naturally contains
+many fanciers. Numerous bow-windowed, brass-bound cages, each with its
+little bit of turf, are hung outside the windows in all directions, and
+the imprisoned skylarks they contain warble away merrily, giving quite a
+rural air to Matilda Street, E.C. Seedy-looking men and boys, carrying
+tiny square cages carefully tied up in handkerchiefs, are continually
+popping in and out; these are the chaffinch fanciers, and each cage
+contains a sightless songster, who at his master's command is prepared
+to pour forth his simple rural melody at any hour of the day or night in
+a long unbroken series of cheeps and chirrups. In Matilda Street lives a
+trainer of piping bullfinches, a man who has passed his whole life
+turning a melodeon and teaching his pupils the tune of "Rule,
+Britannia." Dog-breeding and dog-dealing are favourite occupations in
+Matilda Street; mysterious men emerge at dusk, leading dogs and carrying
+them in their arms, their pockets, or their bosoms, to exhibit them at
+numerous local shows held in neighbouring pot-houses. The little back
+yards--they call them gardens in Matilda Street--are filled with sheds
+and wondrous home-made constructions, in which fancy poultry and rabbits
+are kept. Even the roofs of the houses bristle with pigeon-lofts and
+artful-looking structures for the capture of wandering birds. Should a
+stray pigeon alight on one of these contrivances, attracted by the hemp
+seed which is profusely scattered thereon, or by the presence of a decoy
+securely fastened by the leg, a sudden click may be heard, and the bird
+finds himself in an instant imprisoned in an artful arrangement of wire
+walls, which has closed on him with the rapidity of a conjuring trick.
+Matilda Street is a decidedly poor neighbourhood; but, strange to say,
+it is a favourite "pitch" for the bogus starving British workman and his
+interesting family, when he is upon what he terms the "kinchin lay." The
+man generally goes barefoot, his face is half covered by a stubbly crop
+of bristles, which pathetically indicate that he cannot even afford the
+cheap luxury of the British workman--a ha'penny shave. He doesn't let
+his beard grow--that would look far too comfortable; artful gashes in
+his trousers exhibit his knees, which appeal in a startling manner to
+the feelings of the benevolent; either elbow is clasped to show how he
+suffers from the inclemency of the weather; by his side walks his
+pattern wife, who always wears a large white apron; she invariably
+carries an infant of tender years; at either side of the pair march the
+rest of the family. They keep to the centre of the road; the woman
+watches the windows of one side of the street, the man those of the
+other; and from morning till night they howl a single verse of some hymn
+with monotonous obstinacy, varying it with a plaintive lament that
+"They've got no work to do." They are quite right in choosing places
+like Matilda Street, for there is little or no traffic to interrupt the
+effect of the procession; besides, in such a place as this no policeman
+would interrupt them; and, strange to say, it is in shy and poor
+neighbourhoods that the "kinchin lay" reaps its richest harvest.
+
+Matilda Street is essentially a shy neighbourhood--perhaps that is why
+the tenant of number 13 has chosen it as his residence. On the
+door-plate of number 13 is the simple inscription, "Parsons, agent."
+It's rather a puzzle to make out what Mr. Parsons is agent for; no
+clients ever come to see him, and he seems to pass the greater part of
+his day in smoking a pipe and reading a newspaper. But Mr. Parsons has
+his profession--he was born in it, so to speak, and his father was a
+professor before him; but his father failed, and his father's
+unfortunate failure has been a lesson to him. The real fact is that Mr.
+Parson's father was a burglar of the fine old school. His was a life of
+vicissitude; and though an ambitious and fairly successful man, the law,
+against which he had waged war for many years, got the better of him at
+last; and after having passed nearly forty years of his life in Her
+Majesty's jails, death at length prevented his obtaining the
+ticket-of-leave he had almost earned, and his consequent return to
+business.
+
+It is all very well for the majority of us to wonder why Mr. Parsons
+didn't attempt to earn an honest livelihood, but we must remember that
+he had been brought up to a profession of which most people disapprove
+from his earliest infancy. As quite a little fellow he had accompanied
+his father on many a successful nocturnal expedition; it had been his
+duty to keep watch for the guardians of public order, and to signal
+their approach. He had been taught to rapidly dispose of precious
+plunder in a neat little crucible, plunged in a fierce fire of coke; as
+he got bigger, he it was who sat ready at the corner of the street in a
+tax-cart, prepared to rapidly drive off with the "swag" when of a bulky
+nature.
+
+But though Mr. Parsons, Senior, had been a clever professor of the
+predatory art, though his triumphs had been numerous and his operations
+exceedingly brilliant and extensive, he could not be called a success.
+To pass forty years of one's life in jail, to be perpetually blackmailed
+by one's accomplices, to obtain only a small proportion of one's
+legitimate earnings from those rascals the "fences" or dealers in stolen
+property, and at last after all to die in prison, is not a brilliant
+prospect. Now Mr. Parsons the son was a philosopher. On his father's
+death he found himself the possessor of a complete and almost perfect
+set of what may be termed his father's trade utensils. There was also a
+little secret hoard of valuable gems. Mr. Parsons put his burglarious
+implements in a place of safety; he lived abroad upon the proceeds of
+his little fortune for some years; and when he came back to England his
+own mother, if she had been alive, would not have known him. Then he
+settled down at number 13, Matilda Street, and commenced the practice of
+his profession upon principles of his own: not as a mere mercenary
+occupation, but as a fine art. Mr. Parsons kept well away from his
+father's old haunts and from the perfidious acquaintances who had
+degraded him and been the cause of his ultimate ruin. Mr. Parsons had no
+low tastes; he disliked drink and bad company; he had but one ambition,
+and that was to obtain a comfortable competence from the skilful
+exercise of his profession. He wisely concluded that it is not
+sufficient to commit a successful burglary, if you are afterwards found
+out. He was a careful student of the police reports and the trials at
+the Central Criminal Court, and the more he studied those interesting
+records, the more he became convinced of the wickedness of human nature,
+the inefficiency of the police, and the tendency of accomplices to
+"split." Mr. Parsons, then, being a thoroughly practical man was also a
+theorist; he made several determinations, which he strictly kept to. In
+the first place, he came to the conclusion that a suspect is always
+watched, and that accomplices, however useful, are extremely dangerous.
+So he determined to carry on his profession upon strictly business
+principles. Wise man that he was, he appreciated the fable of the hare
+and the tortoise. It was better, he thought, to earn a safe and
+comfortable living; and he determined, should he ever be so fortunate
+as to make a great _coup_, to immediately retire from business. He
+trusted to his own clear head, his own clever fingers, and himself. So
+he habitually worked alone. He passed his afternoons in "looking round."
+His operations were very carefully planned, and generally successfully
+carried out.
+
+It will be seen from all this that Mr. Parsons was no common criminal,
+but he was a dangerous man for all that; for on his nocturnal
+expeditions he was in the habit of carrying an ugly sheath knife, not as
+a weapon of offence, be it remembered, but purely as a last resource for
+the protection of his own personal liberty.
+
+It was a fine summer afternoon, and Mr. Parsons was lounging through one
+of the better streets of St. John's Wood; that neighbourhood,
+sarcastically designated "the shady grove of the Evangelist," had
+peculiar attractions for Mr. Parsons; it is wealthy, the large houses
+stand mostly in their own grounds, and the big well-kept gardens offer
+favourable hiding-places to the midnight thief. Mr. Parsons lounged
+along, peacefully smoking a briar-root pipe; the houses where the paint
+was shabby or the gardens were ill-kept did not attract his attention;
+these signs were quite sufficient for him, and in his mind he put their
+owners down as "electro." Other houses which were guarded by dogs also
+failed to interest him, but Mr. Parsons took more than a passing glance
+at Azalea Lodge.
+
+Azalea Lodge stood back some twenty feet from the road way; the entire
+outside of the house was painted or grained; there was a great deal of
+gilding on the railings, a large gas lamp of the latest construction was
+fixed over each of the polished oak gates that formed the entrances to
+the little carriage-drive; the carriage-drive itself was asphalted, and
+clean as a new pin; the shrubs in the small front garden were
+expensive ones, and well pruned and trimmed; beyond the porch
+projected a rather elaborate glass structure set in ornamental iron
+work, and the centre of the well-whitened stone steps was covered with
+striped horsehair matting. Flowering shrubs in pots were ranged up these
+steps, while the sides of the porch proper were crammed with them.
+Elaborate floral decorations were on every window-ledge; not mere plants
+in pots, but great blocks of colour artfully arranged: scarlet geraniums
+and calceolarias with glossy-leaved fuchsias of many hues blazed in
+frames of blue lobelia, while dwarf ivies, nasturtiums and the pretty
+variegated periwinkle hung down in thick festoons, hiding the window
+sills. The beds in the front garden were made to show up in startling
+contrast to the closely-shaven turf by means of cocoanut fibre, into
+which potted flowering plants were plunged in reckless profusion. In one
+window of the drawing-room was a quasi-oriental _jardinière_ in which
+stood a large orchid covered with delicate blooms of mauve and yellow;
+in the next appeared the top of a parrot's cage of plated metal, on
+which sat a tame white cockatoo, who seemed to enjoy the splendour by
+which he was surrounded. The very linings of the curtains were of rich
+corded silk, and a half open window showed in the dim vista a distant
+vision of the heavy frames of numerous oil paintings. From top to bottom
+the bedroom windows were discreetly screened by lace curtains tied up
+with coloured ribbon.
+
+All these pretty things have taken somewhat long to describe, but the
+eagle eye of Mr. Parsons took them all in at a glance. A fishmonger's
+cart stopped at the side door, and Mr. Parsons noticed with satisfaction
+that a fine piece of salmon and a lobster were taken into the house by
+the purveyor's assistant. Mr. Parsons continued his walk as far as the
+next house, which proved to be an empty one and in the hands of the
+painters; their ladders and paint pots stood about in every direction,
+but the workmen themselves had evidently gone to dinner. Mr. Parsons
+shook out the contents of his pipe, pocketed it, and walking up to the
+hall door, which stood invitingly open, confidently entered the empty
+house; he walked into the drawing-room and on to the open Italian
+balcony beyond it, which commanded a view of the grounds of Azalea
+Lodge, and then Mr. Parsons stood wrapped in meditation. Something that
+he saw at a heavily-barred window on the ground floor of Azalea Lodge
+evidently gave him food for reflection. On a table covered with green
+baize lay a quantity of elaborate specimens of the silversmith's art,
+racing cups and trophies, vases and statuettes of burnished silver were
+there in profusion, and a heap of leathers and brushes showed that they
+were undergoing the process of cleaning. The eyes of Mr. Parsons
+sparkled with satisfaction; he looked round to see if he was observed.
+There wasn't a soul in sight. And then Mr. Parsons did a very curious
+thing; he gave a low growl, then a little yelp, and then an aggressive
+bark like an irritated dog. Then he began to bark again in a louder and
+still more defiant manner. But there was no answer to the strange
+challenge. Mr. Parsons gave a satisfied smile, walked quietly out of the
+empty house, re-lighted his pipe and resumed his walk.
+
+It's hardly likely that Mr. Parsons thought of renting the empty house
+next door to Azalea Lodge, but he walked past at least four times that
+afternoon. He went home to Matilda Street on the top of an omnibus, and
+then, like a respectable man as he was, he sat down to a good
+substantial tea.
+
+Before commencing a campaign a great general sits down to think it out.
+This is exactly what Mr. Parsons did. The tenant of number 13, Matilda
+Street had declared war against Azalea Lodge. From what he had seen, Mr.
+Parsons had no doubt whatever in his own mind that, should his campaign
+prove successful, he would secure the competence he had yearned for, for
+so many years and be able to retire from business altogether.
+
+That night Mr. Parsons visited a public house, paid for a glass of ale,
+and consulted the directory. He found that Azalea Lodge was occupied by
+Lord Hetton; the name seemed familiar to him; he turned to the landlord,
+who was a well-known sporting character, and sought for information.
+
+"Lord Hetton's a political chap, ain't he, Mr. Mason?" said he,
+addressing the great man with much humility.
+
+"Not as ever I heard of; why his lordship's a racing man. Every one
+knows Lord Hetton--him as owned Dark Despair, and lost the Derby once by
+a short head."
+
+"Oh, that's him, is it?" replied Mr. Parsons, "and what's his address
+when he's at home?"
+
+"How should I know his address?" said the landlord. "If you wants to
+call on him, you might try the Jockey Club, or I shouldn't be surprised
+if you was to find him at Tattersall's of a Sunday afternoon; that sort
+mostly shows up there. What might you want with him?"
+
+"Oh, it's no great matter," replied Mr. Parsons; "it's only a little bit
+of business about a dog," and then he changed the conversation.
+
+"Racing plate," he thought, "there is never any mistake about that;
+that's the real genuine article, thank goodness." And then Mr. Parsons,
+who was of a sentimental turn of mind and a humble patron of the drama,
+sauntered off to the Britannia Theatre, at Hoxton, and derived no small
+degree of mental comfort in four hours of the sorrows of "Ada, the
+Betrayed."
+
+It has been said that Lord Hetton was an economical man; every farthing
+that he could scrape together invariably went to settle his accounts
+with his trainer. He had begun life as a pigeon, to all appearances he
+would end it as a hawk. Dark rumours of shady things which had been done
+in his name rendered men shy of backing his horses. Scandal had said
+that the boy who rode Dark Despair, when that animal was beaten on the
+post, had pulled the great raking chestnut by his lordship's orders. But
+though Lord Hetton had done many shabby things in his time, it was by no
+fault of his that Dark Despair failed to win the blue ribbon of the
+turf. It is quite possible that the boy who rode the animal had made a
+mess of the race at the critical moment, or he may even have been "got
+at," but that was not Lord Hetton's opinion or that of his astute
+trainer; and the same stunted youth still always rode in his lordship's
+colours in any big event in which Lord Hetton's animals might be
+engaged. Owner and trainer had neither of them been to blame in the
+matter; his lordship had honestly backed Dark Despair, and had had
+considerable difficulty in meeting his engagements at the time. There
+had even been an execution in Azalea Lodge. Azalea Lodge was the one
+luxury that his lordship permitted himself; he looked upon it as his
+home, and the titular mistress of Azalea Lodge had been the original
+cause of all his differences with his father. Hetton was quite a boy
+when he first fell into the toils of the syren; he was not quite fool
+enough to marry her, his fear of the old lord prevented that; for her
+sake Lord Hetton declined to marry; for her sake he was shut out from
+society; and he was a man to be pitied after all, for he hadn't a friend
+in the world, and it was with the greatest difficulty that he succeeded
+in satisfying her numerous extravagant demands for money. The lady was
+_passée_, vulgar, and her temper was almost diabolical; but she still
+retained her hold upon Lord Hetton's affections. She had succeeded in
+riveting the fetters which bound Lord Hetton to her in a rather original
+manner--by an act of generosity for which none of her acquaintances
+would have given her credit, least of all his lordship. When he made his
+great _fiasco_ with Dark Despair, and the execution was already in
+Azalea Lodge, by an impulse of generosity the lady had driven over to
+Messrs. Israels, and had pledged with them her entire collection of
+valuable jewelry. She had handed the cheque to Lord Hetton, and he did
+settle at Tattersall's on the fatal Monday following the race. Lord
+Hetton was agreeably astonished; he found, much to his surprise, that he
+had one real friend in the world. Is it then to be wondered at that from
+that day Lord Hetton clung to his only friend, and that he looked upon
+Azalea Lodge as his home? Things went better with Lord Hetton, and he
+settled Azalea Lodge and its valuable contents upon the object of his
+gratitude.
+
+When anything remained to him after paying his trainer whenever he made
+a _coup_, or landed a good stake, he invariably made a thank-offering at
+the shrine in St. John's Wood. It was all very wrong, and very wicked,
+no doubt, but after all it was perhaps very natural.
+
+It was nine o'clock one Sunday night, and Mr. Parsons was very busy
+indeed--he was preparing for the war-path. On his table were arranged a
+number of polished steel implements, which looked like surgical
+instruments; they were burglar's tools. Half-a-dozen handy bits of
+candle and a box of silent matches were quickly placed in his pocket; a
+piece of strong Manilla cord some four yards long, with a sharp
+three-pronged hook at the end of it, was wrapped around his waist,
+beneath his virtuous waistcoat; his plain tweed coat carried numerous
+canvas bags lined with washleather in its back. It was a wonderful coat
+with innumerable pockets in the inside; in each of these mysterious
+receptacles he placed one or other of the implements of his trade; a
+short crow-bar in three pieces, which could be screwed together, formed
+the last of these, while a big bunch of skeleton keys, a phial full of
+oil and another of acid were slipped into his waistcoat pockets. He
+popped a pair of loose felt slippers into his hat, calmly lighted his
+pipe and proceeded to Old Street. He then called a hansom cab and told
+the driver to take him to the Swiss Cottage.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER XI.
+
+  ESAU WAS THE FIRSTBORN.
+
+
+"Are you trying to tell his fortune, Georgie?" said Haggard as, cigar in
+mouth, he entered his wife's little boudoir.
+
+The young mother was sitting in an American rocking-chair, her baby in
+her lap. The little creature stared at her in that peculiar way which
+infants do when they are being "amused." It wasn't altogether a
+meaningless stare, for what it meant was very obvious indeed; this
+peculiar look is a threat, and may be translated thus:
+
+"If you do not give me your entire attention, and become thoroughly
+absorbed in me, I will rend the air with eldritch screams, and my
+piercing cries shall give you the headache you deserve."
+
+"I think I was making a fool of myself, Reginald," said young Mrs.
+Haggard; "I certainly was predicting all sorts of good fortune for him,
+in baby language."
+
+"Yes, baby language as you call it, is one of women's ridiculous fads;
+the child learns it, and he'll have to unlearn it again to pick up the
+Queen's English. You don't mean to say that you believe in palmistry,
+Georgie?" continued Haggard.
+
+"Well, everybody says there's something in it, Reginald; besides, it's
+only an old belief revived, and it's better fun than spirit-rapping,
+thought-reading, or Madam Blavatsky."
+
+The husband sat down, and critically inspected the child.
+
+"Poor little devil!" he said; "he's like a young bear with all his
+troubles to come. I'll tell you his fortune, Georgie. If he's got brains
+he'll have to go and live in the Law Courts, pinching and screwing to
+make both ends meet, starving his belly to feed his back, working early
+and late, and hoping for the briefs that never come. Perhaps he'll
+drift into something, or finding that he can't earn a farthing he may
+turn paper stainer in despair, and gradually get a crust by writing dull
+farces or novels that nobody reads; in fact he may become a modern Grub
+Street free lance. If he is a humbug he'll go into the Church; or he may
+want to wear a red coat, or a blue one, and vegetate on his pay and the
+trifle he would get from me."
+
+"Poor little fellow," said his wife; "but what has he done to be
+disinherited?"
+
+"He's committed the crime of existing, my dear," replied the husband.
+"Can't you see, dear, that every farthing we have in the world will have
+to go to Lucius, for he will be the head of the family. Gad," he said,
+"he may be a peer of the realm, though that's a rather unlikely
+contingency. This child, Georgie, is not born in the purple, as is his
+elder brother; the one is clay, the other china."
+
+The young mother nervously clutched the child to her breast and
+smothered him with kisses.
+
+"Make the most of him, my dear, lavish your affection upon him. Unless
+the squire means doing something for him, his fortune is what I have
+predicted. Younger sons in England, George, have to live on monkey's
+allowance--more kicks than halfpence, and if there are half-a-dozen more
+of them, poor little chaps, the fewer halfpence they will get and the
+more kicks."
+
+Careless idle words, spoken jestingly, but every one of which went home
+like a barbed arrow to the mother's heart. As she buried her face in the
+child's neck, she thought of her vow of eternal secrecy to her cousin.
+It had been extracted from her when under the influence of intense fear
+and horror. Her cousin had only forced a solemn promise from her with
+the intention of covering her own ignominy. It would have needed more
+than even the diabolical ingenuity of a Machiavel to have extorted from
+any mother her adhesion to a conspiracy for the ruin of her own child.
+But now she saw to her horror that each and every child she might bear
+to her own husband would, as a matter of course, be practically
+disinherited in favour of the little bastard. At that instant, there
+dawned on her for the first time the remote possible contingency of the
+child who was supposed to be Haggard's firstborn son ultimately
+inheriting the Pit Town title; that troubled her far less than do the
+probabilities of his ultimate succession to the Woolsack affect young
+Mr. Briefless when he is first called to the bar. But that each and
+every one of her children should by her own deliberate act, and for the
+benefit of an interloper, himself but a child of shame, be deprived of
+what was legitimately their own, their share of their father's heritage,
+did seem a very bitter cup.
+
+"I can tell you one thing, Georgie," said her husband; "your father's
+quite of my mind in the matter, and it is our universal respect for the
+law of primogeniture that has made England what she is. It's a sort of
+natural law of selection, and the survival of the fittest. The eldest
+son must be taken care of at the expense of the rest; he is the tribal
+chief, his brothers and sisters are but his henchmen and his slaves.
+Why, look at the French; since the Code Napoleon, which chopped up the
+land into little blocks and gave each child his share, there have been
+no great families in France. Money a young fellow can squander, but he
+cannot get rid of his ancestral acres, when they are tightly tied up to
+come to his eldest son. There's no way out of it, Georgie; the
+Warrenders and the Haggards wouldn't content themselves with turning in
+their graves, they'd haunt the pair of us, if we hesitated to do the
+regulation thing."
+
+On hearing these words, which for the first time in her life brought
+the real state of things home to her, it is hardly an exaggeration to
+say that young Mrs. Haggard's heart died within her. Was it not her duty
+to her child, to her husband, and to herself, to instantly make a clean
+breast of the whole mystery? Perhaps it was, but she struggled fiercely
+against the natural impulse to adopt this simple course. The fact has
+been insisted upon that secrecy was foreign to Georgie Haggard's nature;
+she hated deception and the very idea of anything which was underhand.
+Had she given way to her natural impulse, and then and there told her
+husband the truth, the dark web of intrigue which surrounded her
+innocent life would have been torn aside and dispersed at once and for
+ever. But with Georgie, unhappily for herself, her promise bound her as
+tightly as the most terrible oath. She had promised never to reveal
+Lucy's secret, and come what might, should this moral Juggernaut crush
+her, her child, and her offspring yet unborn, yet she would be true to
+it; her word, once plighted, should be kept to the bitter end.
+
+"I think it's cruel, Reginald," she said, and the tears were in her
+eyes, "cruel and wicked too. What has he done, poor little fellow, that
+he should be made to inherit a sort of curse?"
+
+But before her husband could answer this very natural objection, the
+door was flung violently open and the child Lucius, his face suffused
+with angry colour, bounced into the room. To his breast he clutched a
+tiny white kitten, it was quite young, its eyes not being yet open.
+
+"Dad," he cried in a tone of rage, "Auntie says I shan't see the tittens
+drowned. I do want so much to see them drowned. I hate Auntie Lucy, and
+I hate Fanchette."
+
+Fanchette now appeared upon the scene, indignant and out of breath. The
+child, tossing the kitten from him, sprung upon Haggard's lap, and again
+expressed his intense desire to be present at the execution of the
+kittens.
+
+"Dad," he said in a tone of affectionate entreaty, "I never seed a
+titten drowned."
+
+Perhaps it was natural after all. Just in the same way as an adult goes
+to an execution, because he "never has seen one, you know"--he forgets
+that it is "a thing to shudder at not to see"--so the little Lucius was
+anxious to assist at the immolation of the kittens.
+
+"No, my man, you mustn't be cruel," and then Haggard attempted to argue
+with the child. But the little fellow pleaded, looking up into Haggard's
+face with his big brown eyes.
+
+"Me tiss oo, dad," he said, and he did so vehemently. Haggard stroked
+the child's long golden curls, and placed him gently on the floor.
+
+"Can't be done, my man," he said. At once the child's face changed and
+became frightful to behold; the corners of his mouth went down, the
+whites of his eyes became injected, the tears coursed freely down his
+cheeks, he clenched his little fists and screamed aloud in his rage and
+fury.
+
+"Debil!" he shouted in his passion, and he shook his fists at Haggard in
+impotent rage.
+
+"Take him away, Fanchette," said Haggard with a laugh.
+
+The _bonne_ smiled and caught the infuriated child up in her arms.
+
+"_Ah ma foi, monsieur_," she exclaimed, "_après tout, c'est naturel, il
+aime le spectacle, le beau bébé_."
+
+"Well, he's not to have the spectacle, mind that, Fanchette."
+
+The child and the one kitten undoomed to a watery grave were carried off
+by the _bonne_.
+
+"That chap's a devil of a temper, Georgie," said the husband with a
+laugh. "Case in point, my dear," he continued; "we keep one kitten and
+drown the rest, and there doesn't seem anything very horrible about it
+after all; and that's what we of the upper classes, Georgie, have
+morally to do with our own offspring. It's on exactly that same
+principle that little Lucius will have to get our money and our land,
+while _that_ poor little chap and his brothers and sisters, if he should
+have the misfortune to have any, will have to rub along as best they
+can. You and I, Georgie, will have morally to perform the functions of
+the stony-hearted gardener."
+
+Haggard kissed his wife, then he ran his hand meditatively over the
+infant's soft scalp; he began to whistle a tune, and left the room.
+
+It may be very unnatural, it may be very inartistic, but this being
+merely a veracious chronicle, it has to be told that Georgie loved the
+little Lucius quite as much and with exactly the same affection that she
+felt for the infant she fondled on her lap. Totally inexplicable, you
+will say; but so it was.
+
+Georgie had never grudged to the little Lucius his share of her own and
+her husband's affection. She and her husband were young people; they
+might have a large family growing up round them, but they were wealthy,
+and they had large expectations, so that a child more or less to people
+in their position in life did not very much matter. But to give a little
+stranger a full share in the domestic pie is one thing, and to rob one's
+own children for the sake of the same little stranger is another. The
+more Georgie thought the matter over the more monstrous and impossible
+seemed her position. She would make an appeal to her cousin's mercy, to
+her cousin's sense of justice. But she felt morally certain that Lucy
+would never consent to an _éclaircissement_, or to the making a clean
+breast of the whole long-buried scandal to her cousin's husband.
+
+Gradually the infant on her lap, her husband's legitimate heir, dozed
+gently off; Mrs. Haggard placed him in his cot and proceeded to darken
+the room; as she did so the door opened and her cousin's smiling face
+appeared.
+
+"I want to talk to you, Lucy; I want to talk to you about baby," said
+Georgie with gravity.
+
+"Nothing the matter with him, dear, I hope, is there?"
+
+"Oh, he's well enough as to his bodily health. It's his future I'm
+alarmed about. What do you suppose my husband told me to-day, Lucy? He
+told me, as a matter of course, that my baby was to be sacrificed to
+Lucius, because, forsooth, Lucius is the elder. I nearly told him then,
+Lucy. I _must_ tell him, I shall have to tell him sooner or later."
+
+"And when you do so, Georgie, you will have the satisfaction of seeing
+the last of your cousin. When I told you that I would fling myself into
+the lake if you betrayed me, it was not the mere idle vapouring of a
+foolish girl. I said it, and I meant it. Do you think for one single
+instant that your husband would keep my secret? The scandal has blown
+over, Georgie; you and I are its sole depositories. My secret and my sin
+are both dead, buried for ever in the silent past. You swore you would
+never betray me, Georgie, and having sworn it you must keep your oath.
+Don't think for an instant that any ambition on my part, Georgie, makes
+me wish to see Lucius supplant your children. Oh that he were only dead,
+then at all events I should be safe."
+
+Gradually, however, the girl became calmer, her manner to Georgie got
+softer and more caressing. "Keep my secret, Georgie dear," she said;
+"it'll be another twenty years before your children are men and women. I
+may be dead before that, please God I shall. Anyhow there'll be quite
+time enough to take your husband into our confidence, if it must be so.
+But I couldn't face him yet, and I couldn't face uncle. I must hold you
+to your promise, Georgie. You swore never to betray me, and you never
+shall."
+
+Reginald Haggard's wife pleaded with the girl; she argued, she
+entreated, but she never threatened.
+
+"It may come out after all, Lucy," she said, "and then think of the
+shame, the disgrace and the scandal."
+
+"The only way in which it could come out, dear, would be if Capt knew
+something about it. He evidently has no suspicion, or he would have come
+to us for hush-money long ago. Besides, Georgie, there's hope left to me
+yet," and here the girl's face grew almost diabolical as she hissed
+across the table in a low whisper, "_Lucius is but a little child, dear;
+he may die!_"
+
+"I can't believe, Lucy, that the worst of mothers could deliberately
+wish for her own child's death. You took a base advantage of my
+affection in entrapping me into a promise of secrecy."
+
+"An oath, my dear."
+
+"An oath or a promise, whichever you like, Lucy. I'll keep your secret,
+you may rely on that, whatever it may cost me. But I love the child
+(and you know you can trust me, Lucy Warrender), so be you sure of this.
+You dared to wish for the child's death. Should any danger menace him
+from you--you his own mother, worthless woman that you are--that instant
+your secret shall be a secret no longer. I will sacrifice my own
+happiness, the future of my own children, to you; for your sake I have
+deceived my husband, and I will go on deceiving him, but I will protect
+the child's life from you, Lucy Warrender, at whatever cost. Your very
+presence is a danger to him. After what you've told me, it is impossible
+that you and he can live under the same roof. You hate him, your own
+unhappy friendless child. I banish you from his presence, Lucy, from
+this day forth."
+
+Lucy Warrender gazed at her cousin in astonishment; their _rôles_ were
+changed; no longer young Mrs. Haggard looked at her cousin with patient
+pleading eyes; her foot beat the floor with suppressed excitement, and
+though she never raised her voice, she continued in an angry but
+determined tone:
+
+"Yes, Lucy, you must go, and quickly; you shall no longer poison my home
+with your presence. You have brought sufficient misery to me and mine."
+
+There was a something in the way young Mrs. Haggard had spoken that
+convinced Lucy Warrender of her sincerity.
+
+Her cousin turned and left the room without a word.
+
+That same evening Miss Warrender announced her intention of making a
+long-postponed visit to some friends in town. In vain her uncle
+remonstrated, and pointed out that her presence was expected with the
+rest of the family at Walls End Castle.
+
+"I couldn't stand it, uncle," she said; "we are quiet enough and dull
+enough here, heaven knows; but a month at the Castle would be too
+dreadful. Besides it is Georgie who is the old lord's favourite. I don't
+think I'm in his good books at all. I've put off and put off this visit
+so long, that if I don't make it now, I never shall. And even London out
+of the season is to my mind preferable to the oppressive magnificence of
+the Castle. Lord Pit Town is Reginald's relative, not mine; I should
+only be in the way, Uncle."
+
+And so it was arranged.
+
+Lucy went to her friends in town, and from their house she commenced a
+round of visits. She corresponded regularly enough with her cousin, and
+there was nothing very remarkable about the letters that were
+interchanged. Not one word was dropped by either cousin on the subject
+of the family secret. Perhaps a letter written about this time from Lord
+Spunyarn to his friend Haggard may throw a little light upon the way in
+which Miss Warrender amused herself.
+
+            "The Club House,
+                "Royal Yacht Squadron, Ryde.
+                    "13th August, 18--.
+
+    "DEAR HAGGARD,
+
+    "Here I am swaggering about this place in a blue coat and brass
+    buttons, like the other sham sailors. I'm quite out of the hunt
+    here, however, for I can't pretend to understand the jargon of
+    the thing. Old and new measurements, tonnage, time allowances
+    and movable ballast, are all a sealed book to me. Of course I go
+    on to the balcony with the other idiots to stare at the matches,
+    and, like them, I have to pretend to manifest an intelligent
+    interest.
+
+    "To use a nautical simile your wife's cousin is 'carrying on'
+    here. If I didn't know her so well I should think she meant
+    marrying. Half the men here, including old Marlingspike, the
+    venerable commodore, dance attendance upon her from morning till
+    night, and she certainly looks a very bright little, tight
+    little craft in her nautical get-up, which is the regulation
+    thing with the women here. They say that little Jack Hornpiper
+    proposed to her the other day; it looks rather like it, for he
+    has suddenly started for a lengthened cruise in the
+    Mediterranean.
+
+    "I suppose by this you have begun wiring into Pit Town's grouse,
+    though I hear he does not keep a very big head of game on the
+    place. When Hetton comes into it, it won't be much better, for
+    of course all his spare cash will go in horses. I too have an
+    invite for Walls End, but it is only just for the festivities,
+    which everybody declares are given in honour of your wife and
+    her boy, and to spite Hetton. He, of course, is furious. He
+    swore at first he wouldn't put in an appearance at all, but a
+    good many of the people here are going, and Hetton'll have to
+    show, if only to keep his Jews quiet. The Barringtons, who as
+    you know were never great favourites, have been quite the rage
+    here since Miss Warrender's arrival. They are asked everywhere
+    and go everywhere for the lady's sake, which is very good of
+    them. The Charmington is going to astonish us all in a
+    three-nights engagement at the local theatre; her benefit is
+    announced under the special patronage of H.R.H. She has gone off
+    terribly, but her hair is more luxuriant and golden than ever.
+
+    "Miss Warrender bids me tell you that she shall make a final
+    attempt to _rescue_ Hetton on her arrival at Pit Town's place.
+    For your sake, old fellow, I hope she won't succeed, but I have
+    known more unlikely things happen even than this.
+
+                "Sincerely yours,
+                    "SPUNYARN."
+
+Lucy Warrender enjoyed herself thoroughly during her stay at Ryde. Mr.
+Hornpiper's misfortune had been a true bill. Lucy Warrender encouraged
+everybody, and it was not her fault if enthusiasts like little Hornpiper
+cut short the delightful period of their acquaintance with the lady by
+proposing to her.
+
+It has been said that a ship is a prison, to which is added the
+possibility of being drowned; this is particularly the case in regard to
+a yacht. Theoretically, yachting is a delightful pastime; practically,
+it is an exceedingly expensive foible, combining the maximum of probable
+discomfort and boredom with the not unremote contingency of possible
+danger. Given the most delightful weather, a big and well-found yacht
+and a really good cook, given that the cruise has been a short one, that
+everybody has done his or her best to make things comfortable; yet how
+uncommonly glad we all are to bid our host and his dear delightful
+daughters good-bye--and how uncommonly glad they must be to see the last
+of us. If any of our friends were to invite us to come and stay with
+them and eat tinned provisions for a fortnight, we should indignantly
+decline, but if we are asked to do it on board a friend's yacht, we
+accept with effusion, and for at least a week or two before we brag of
+the high old time we are going to have. I am afraid Lucy Warrender and
+her friends the Barringtons were only fine-weather sailors after all,
+but they were very popular.
+
+There was no false pride about Lucy Warrender. When she met her old
+friend and rival, Mrs. Charmington, upon the pier, she shook hands with
+her at once. In the days when Mrs. Charmington was a leader in society,
+little Jack Charmington, her husband, had been tacitly ignored; but now
+his wife was very glad indeed to have him constantly at her elbow, and
+she introduced him to everybody.
+
+"You must know Jack, Miss Warrender," she said, as they shook hands. "I
+don't know what I should do without him, my dear," she continued. "He
+always leads the applause in front, you know, and he talks to the
+professional people for me, when I have the misfortune to meet them in
+the daytime."
+
+"Doosid responsible position, Miss Warrender, I can tell you; one needs
+a constitution of iron, Miss Warrender; they're so awfully hospitable,
+that talking with them first always means drinking with them afterwards.
+It's bad enough for my wife to have quitted the scenes of her former
+triumphs for the coarser joys of the play-house. But dramatic talent, my
+dear young lady, will assert itself. If my wife had been Empress of all
+the Russias, sooner or later her destiny would have declared itself, and
+she would have sought the only sphere which could content a woman of her
+talent and ambition."
+
+Now Mrs. Charmington's talents as an actress were microscopical. She was
+good looking, she had a decently good memory, and she was a dogged,
+plodding woman, with a good eye to the main chance. Her principle was to
+buy a fairly good article, to pay a good price for it, and then to make
+her little experiment upon the body of the vile, by hacking her piece
+through the provinces, say for six months; and then producing it for a
+short London season. There is no doubt that by time and patience it is
+possible to get even a little child to recite a piece of poetry with a
+certain amount of effect, and so it was with Mrs. Charmington. It must
+be remembered first, that Mrs. Charmington did not buy rubbish. She went
+to the great Mr. Breitmann, and she made a bargain with him. Breitmann
+was a man of five-and-forty; he stood six feet in his stockings, he was
+fair, with a quantity of light curly hair, and he had big fat fingers,
+which were perpetually playing upon an imaginary pianoforte; when they
+weren't running over an invisible keyboard, Mr. William Breitmann was
+engaged in extending them separately, one after the other, in a
+succession of violent cracks. Now the reason Mrs. Charmington went to
+Mr. Breitmann was, that Breitmann was a particularly independent person,
+who declined dancing gratuitous attendance upon Mrs. Charmington or
+anybody else. In vain had she favoured him with a royal command,
+written upon crocodile paper, headed by a magnificent monogram,
+illuminated in many colours, in which Mr. Breitmann was informed that
+"Mrs. Charmington would be pleased if Mr. Breitmann would kindly call
+upon her on Tuesday, at three, as she wished to talk over a matter of
+business with him." A rude and cruel answer, short and to the point,
+came by return of post:
+
+    "MADAM,
+
+    "I have no business with you.
+
+                "Yours obediently,
+
+                    "W. BREITMANN."
+
+Then she sent an ambassador. Jack Charmington called four times upon the
+dramatist at his club, but even then, after bribing the page boy to
+indiscreetly admit that the great Breitmann was on the premises, he
+still found him sufficiently difficult to approach. As Jack stood in the
+little bare den marked "Strangers' Room," he heard voices in loud
+talking, with occasional shouts of laughter; then he heard a gruff and
+angry voice grunt in an irritated manner, "Charmington, what is
+Charmington? I don't know Charmington. Tell him to go to----." And here
+a door slammed violently.
+
+The page boy entered the strangers' room and communicated to Mr.
+Charmington the fact that the great man was busy.
+
+"Did you tell him I wanted to see him on business?"
+
+"They all say that, sir," replied the boy; "he's a very busy gentleman
+Mr. Breitmann, sir, if you please."
+
+Charmington then sat down and wrote a polite note, in which he informed
+Mr. Breitmann that he desired a short interview with him on a matter of
+vital importance to them both. A second half-crown was administered to
+the page boy, and in a few moments the door of the strangers' room was
+violently flung open, and Mr. Breitmann himself suddenly burst in.
+Breitmann never entered a room, he always burst in. The suddenness of
+his entry startled Charmington considerably; he was still more
+astonished at the tone in which Breitmann addressed him. That gentleman
+carried poor Jack's note in his hand.
+
+"What is your vital business, sir? I have no vital business with you."
+
+"My wife wrote to you, Mr. Breitmann, yesterday, asking you to call on
+her."
+
+This only seemed to exasperate Mr. Breitmann still more.
+
+"I have no business with your wife. I am not a ladies' man. Why should I
+call on your wife when I have no business? What do you mean by coming
+here and bullying me because I won't call on your wife?"
+
+"My wife is a very prominent person, Mr. Breitmann."
+
+"I have seen your wife, sir, and if you wish, I will tell you what I
+think of her."
+
+He hardly gave poor little Charmington time to assent to this
+proposition, when he continued, his voice changing from a shout to a
+scream:
+
+"Sir, your wife is a fool!" Then he proceeded to crack his fingers
+violently, one after another. "Now, sir," he continued, "I wish you
+good-morning; my time is fully occupied in my businesses and in
+protecting my copyrights."
+
+He was about to rush from the room.
+
+"It's about that I wanted to see you," said Jack.
+
+"Have you been infringing my copyrights then?" replied the other in a
+terrible voice.
+
+"No, I want to buy one," said Charmington.
+
+"Ah," replied Breitmann, in a calmer tone, "then you _have_ business.
+Sit down. What do you want to buy?"
+
+"Well, I don't exactly know," replied Charmington.
+
+"Well, tell me how much you want to spend, five thousand--ten thousand?"
+
+And then they went to business. It was explained to Mr. Breitmann that
+Mrs. Charmington was anxious to purchase one of his new and original
+dramas, one of those extraordinary combinations of melodramatic
+impossibility, which however appeal, and not in vain, to the eye and to
+the heart, which never fail to fill the pockets of their fortunate
+purchasers, and which have rendered the name of Breitmann a household
+word.
+
+For thirty years it had been Mr. Breitmann's misfortune to fight
+incompetency in some shape or other. It had fallen to his lot to
+manipulate vast armies of theatrical supernumeraries and to teach them
+to perform the apparently impossible feat of being in two places at
+once. Mr. Breitmann's struggles with the British super had taught him
+one great secret: the British super, like the British donkey, never does
+what he is told until the person in authority over him loses his temper.
+So Breitmann, to avoid loss of time, used to begin by losing his temper
+at once; so terrible were his ebullitions of wrath, that nobody ever
+attempted to argue with him, and he always carried his point. Finding
+his tactics invariably successful within the walls of the theatre, he
+adopted them with similar success in ordinary life, and the time he
+saved was enormous.
+
+His negotiations with Mrs. Charmington, her husband and her solicitor,
+were over in forty-eight hours; a satisfactory bargain was concluded
+between them for the purchase of "Ethel's Sacrifice," a melodrama of
+thrilling interest, originally written as a novel by Robinson. Robinson
+had submitted the manuscript to Breitmann, and then for a fortnight the
+pair had "collaborated." What took place during that dreadful fortnight
+is only known to the two collaborators. Robinson at its commencement was
+a bright-eyed young fellow, full of enthusiasm, poetry and romance; at
+the end of the fortnight all the enthusiasm, poetry and romance had been
+knocked out of him. "Ethel's Sacrifice" had been altered, tinkered,
+transposed, cut and filled with comic incidents of the most every-day
+description, incidents from which the poetic soul of the unhappy
+Robinson revolted. Then "Ethel's Sacrifice" was gabbled through one
+summer's evening at a remote provincial theatre, and "Ethel's
+Sacrifice," by Messrs. Robinson and Breitmann, became a marketable
+security, duly protected by act of parliament. A nervous invalid left
+London for prolonged mental rest and change of scene--that was Robinson;
+his collaborator calmly returned to his multifarious business
+engagements and the onerous duties of the protection of his innumerable
+copyrights.
+
+Now Mr. Breitmann not only sold "Ethel's Sacrifice" to the Charmingtons,
+but he sold them the benefits of his own personal skill in its
+production. When the bills said that "Ethel's Sacrifice" was produced
+under the personal supervision of Mr. William Breitmann, the knowing
+ones jumped at once to the correct conclusion that "Ethel's Sacrifice"
+would be a success. Mr. Breitmann had stipulated with Mrs. Charmington
+that he should not deliver to her the complete drama until she herself
+was letter-perfect in the title _rôle_.
+
+"You're never perfect, you know," he had said to her, "and you won't be
+till you've played the thing in the provinces for six months; that's the
+curse of amateurs, they never are perfect."
+
+"But I'm not an amateur, Mr. Breitmann," the lady had retorted
+indignantly.
+
+"Pardon me, dear lady," he said, "but you are nothing else. You have
+played four original parts, specially written for you mind, in the
+whole of your stage experience; of course you're an amateur, but you are
+a big success. And," and here he cracked his fingers very slowly, "you
+are a fine woman, yes, a fine stage presence of a woman," said he
+appreciatively, as he looked her all over, much as a dealer might look
+over a horse--a dealer who was selling a horse, not a dealer who was
+buying one.
+
+Mrs. Charmington fought hard to get hold of the beautiful type-printed
+copy of "Ethel's Sacrifice," which young Robinson, in elaborate morning
+costume and a flower in his button-hole, had read to her so
+delightfully; but all in vain. Mr. Breitmann kept it carefully locked up
+in one of the numerous tin boxes which made his rather grim-looking
+study so much resemble a lawyer's office.
+
+"You'll find this quite enough to occupy you for the next three months,
+my dear," said Breitmann decisively, using the affectionate method of
+address invariable in the profession.
+
+The part, which was a formidable little volume, was just about twice as
+long as the Church catechism. To do Mrs. Charmington justice she set to
+work with a will; she was actually letter-perfect when the play was read
+to her company for the first time by Mr. Robinson at the Stoke Pogis
+theatre, where the talented little band of actors that supported Mrs.
+Charmington were playing at the time.
+
+"At ten on Monday, if you please, ladies and gentlemen," said Robinson,
+"we will rehearse Acts I., II. and III. Mr. Breitmann will be present."
+
+Everybody was punctual, and Mr. Breitmann _was_ present. For five mortal
+hours he abused the company individually and collectively; he pervaded
+the theatre, he shrieked from the lighted rake of gas jets which
+illuminated the centre of the stage, he objurgated from the author's
+table, he used the most horrible language when he suddenly appeared in
+the stalls, he had the presumption to order Mrs. Charmington not to
+"mince," and he told her that "it wasn't a time for mincing;" he
+insisted on the minuet in the second act being repeated six times, and
+then he informed the infuriated stage manager that "it wasn't good
+enough even for Whitechapel." But the climax was reached at Mrs.
+Charmington's great scene with her leading man, at the conclusion of the
+third act. Ethel (Mrs. Charmington) has to fling herself into the arms
+of her confiding husband; she proceeded to do so in her usual
+perfunctory and society manner.
+
+"Good heavens! madam," shrieked the indignant Breitmann, "that won't do.
+Stand here," said he in his ferocious voice, "and look at me." He rushed
+at the leading man, he plunged his face into that gentleman's shirt
+front, he gripped the gentleman's muscular shoulders with tremendous
+energy, and his back went up and down with convulsive sobs.
+
+"There, ma'am," he said triumphantly; "try again." She tried again, but
+Breitmann vociferated all the more.
+
+"It's no good, my dear; you must clutch and nestle. I wouldn't give
+that," and here he snapped his fingers, "for a woman who can't clutch
+and nestle; try it with me."
+
+Breitmann took up the position of the leading man. Mrs. Charmington gave
+one tearful glance at her husband, then she rushed into Breitmann's arms
+and did her best to clutch and to nestle. But he was not even then
+satisfied.
+
+"Go home, my dear," he said, "and practise it with your husband."
+
+What a situation for one who has been a queen of society. When Mrs.
+Charmington, almost heart-broken, reached her lodgings she informed her
+husband that it was more than she could bear.
+
+"The idea of the wretch actually teaching me my business before my whole
+company, and then ordering me to go home and learn to 'clutch and
+nestle.'"
+
+"Dev'lish sensible idea I think, Julia," said Charmington, who was in
+love with his wife before all things; "you can't do better than begin at
+once," and the little man drew himself up to his full height of five
+foot six and extended his arms like a mechanical doll.
+
+"Don't remind me of my humiliation, Jack; it's too much, too much to
+bear," and the beauty flung herself into an easy chair and burst into
+floods of tears.
+
+But Julia Charmington, wise woman that she was, did as she was bid; she
+clutched and she nestled all that afternoon, and she had her reward. For
+six whole months she delighted all the great provincial towns and
+watering-places of the United Kingdom with "Ethel's Sacrifice," and she
+reaped a golden harvest. When she came to town for the season she
+scored a decided success, and all the leading Dailies joined in the
+chorus of adulation. The fair Julia got a good round sum from the
+photographers for the right to represent her in her four elaborate
+costumes; the particular triumph of the sun-artist being the
+representation of her nestling and clutching scene. Even the dramatic
+critic of the great morning journal went into ecstasies over this.
+
+"Mrs. Charmington," he said, "has made real progress. It has been the
+fashion to go to see this lady from curiosity, but last night she scored
+a genuine success in 'Ethel's Sacrifice,' a thrilling melodrama by
+Messrs. Breitmann and Robinson, which was seen in London for the first
+time. The house was crowded with the well-known faces so familiar to us
+at all important _premières_. In her great scene in the third act, Mrs.
+Charmington took every one by surprise. Thoroughly spontaneous and
+unaffected, quite free from staginess and straining after effect, the
+audience thoroughly appreciated the genuine burst of feeling of the
+young wife," and so on, and so on, for a column and a half.
+
+Messrs. Breitmann and Robinson bowed their thanks to an enthusiastic
+call; and Breitmann, his face wreathed in smiles and cracking his
+fingers violently, as was his custom, whispered to his collaborator,
+"She's only a 'mug,' after all, my boy, but I'm proud of her; it's the
+nestling and clutching that fetched them." And then he went off to the
+Convivial Cannibals, where he ate an enormous tripe supper, and was more
+jovial and violent than ever.
+
+
+
+
+  CHAPTER XII.
+
+  IN ST. JOHN'S WOOD.
+
+
+Lord Hetton was certainly a long-suffering man. It has been stated that
+the temper of the mistress of Azalea Lodge was almost diabolical; there
+was nothing the pair didn't quarrel over. I believe, originally, their
+quarrels were about nothing at all, the mere disagreements of lovers
+that are but a renewal of love; the best-tempered and most virtuous have
+been known to fight even during their honey-moons: but it is a
+dangerous practice, for use is second nature, and quarrelling, like
+dram-drinking, grows upon one, and after a while becomes a necessity. I
+verily believe had the inhabitants of Azalea Lodge not both been members
+of the cultured classes that murder would have been done. But just as
+they quarrelled, abused each other, and hurt each other's feelings as
+much as possible, so they were each in the habit after a pitched battle
+of leaving the field in possession of the victor.
+
+On the very day that Mr. Parsons had left Matilda Street to proceed on
+business to the Swiss Cottage, one of these numerous pitched battles had
+taken place; the lady had been vanquished, and she, her maid, and her
+jewel-case had left for Brighton by the evening train. Lord Hetton sat
+alone and tried to do justice to a _recherché_ little dinner, but he
+failed, for Hetton was jealous and unhappy; and as he looked at the
+vacant chair opposite him, the triumphs of his undeniable cook turned to
+Dead Sea apples in his mouth, for, in his mind's eye, he saw the
+mistress of Azalea Lodge dining in solitary grandeur in the coffee-room
+of a fashionable Brighton hotel, the cynosure of many an admiring eye.
+Lord Hetton did not enjoy his dinner.
+
+These two unfortunate people, if the truth be told, really did love each
+other very sincerely. As has been said the lady was Lord Hetton's only
+friend; of this she had given him very tangible proof in the hour of his
+need, and on her part she owed everything she had in the world to his
+lordship; but each of the pair was haunted by a special terror--the lady
+by the fear that Lord Hetton might marry, his lordship by the dread that
+the lady might actually carry out her frequent threat that the next time
+she left him it would be never to return. Poor wretch, he would only
+have been too glad to have married her, but that outraged society would
+have been instantly vindicated by the stoppage of his allowance from the
+old earl.
+
+Lord Hetton sat and meditated by his study fire. "By Jove!" thought he,
+"it would serve her right if I really did pay her off and married. I
+ought to, if it were only to keep out that fellow Haggard and his
+brats."
+
+It was ten o'clock. Azalea Lodge was a well-regulated household. The
+parlourmaid placed the spirit stand upon the table, and asked his
+lordship if he had any further orders. Within half-an-hour the four
+women servants of Azalea Lodge were fast asleep, and the thick
+baize-covered door, which separated the servants' quarters from the rest
+of the house, was securely fastened. And now Lord Hetton sat down to his
+writing-table, and he wrote a letter to the solicitor of the mistress of
+Azalea Lodge. This was the letter, which was short and to the point:
+
+                    "Azalea Lodge.
+
+    "SIR,
+
+    "I shall be glad if you will call upon me here, as I am desirous
+    of washing my hands of your client and of all the associations
+    of this place.
+
+                "Yours faithfully,
+                    "HETTON."
+
+Now Lord Hetton when he wrote this letter had not the slightest idea of
+carrying out the threat contained in it; it was merely his way of
+expressing his displeasure--the quickest means he knew of causing the
+return of the fugitive from the seaside. It was upon the lines of this
+letter that he composed a second epistle full of indignant
+recrimination, in which he announced that this, the last rupture, must
+be final. "I have long determined," he said, and he chuckled as he wrote
+the words, "to shake myself free from what was after all but a boyish
+infatuation at the commencement, an entanglement which I feel we both
+have been anxious to terminate for some time. Your solicitor will inform
+you that I have requested him to take the necessary steps." And as he
+folded the letter and placed it in its envelope he smiled. "She'll get
+it by the mid-day delivery to-morrow, if they post it the first thing in
+the morning, and she'll probably come back in a towering passion by the
+four express. I wish she was here now," he continued with a sigh. Lord
+Hetton yawned, he looked at his watch, and then he stamped the letters
+and laid them out for posting, but circumstances intervened which caused
+those two letters not to leave Azalea Lodge.
+
+Lord Hetton lighted his candle and went to bed. In half-an-hour he was
+sound asleep, and a dead silence reigned in Azalea Lodge. The crickets
+chirped merrily upon the hearth of the housemaid's pantry, where the
+remains of a fire still smouldered. But what is that monotonous grating
+sound which continues with mechanical regularity? It isn't a kettle
+boiling, though it sounds rather like it, for there is an occasional
+squeak and then the noise suddenly ceases altogether, only to recommence
+again.
+
+Mr. Parsons on reaching the Swiss Cottage had walked straight to Azalea
+Lodge. He entered the front garden of the empty house next door to it,
+which was still in the hands of the workmen. He flung his three-pronged
+hook over the high wall which separated Azalea Lodge from the empty
+house. Quickly, noiselessly, and without effort Mr. Parsons reached the
+top of the wall; then he removed the three-pronged hook, fixed it on the
+near side of the wall, and descended by means of the friendly rope
+attached to it into the grounds of Azalea Lodge. He left the rope
+hanging, for the return journey might possibly have to be accomplished
+in a very hurried manner. When Mr. Parsons stood safely within the outer
+defences of the fortress which he had assailed he proceeded to
+deliberately remove his boots. The big list slippers which he put on
+were perfectly noiseless; they are the professional foot coverings
+common to the British thief and to the ghost of Hamlet's father. Then he
+walked straight to the pantry window, and shading his eyes with his
+hands, carefully took stock of the interior. Mr. Parsons lost no time;
+and, skilled mechanic that he was, commenced his work at once. Gripping
+his file firmly in both hands, and carefully lubricating its keen edge
+with oil, he commenced operations vigorously upon the massive bar of
+soft iron, which with five others protected the pantry window; the bar
+was at least an inch in diameter and was quite seven feet long. It took
+Mr. Parsons a good twenty minutes' hard work to cut through, and beads
+of perspiration stood upon the brow of that clever operator long before
+the job was finished. Mr. Parsons replaced his files in their special
+receptacles in his many-pocketed coat, then he seized the
+massive-looking bar just above where he had divided it, he placed a foot
+against the window-ledge and tugged with all his might. It's easy enough
+to bend a poker between the bars of a kitchen range; it is true that the
+kitchen poker is not an inch in diameter, but then neither is it seven
+feet long. Mr. Parsons wrenched away with a will, and soon the great bar
+was bent almost to a right angle. Mr. Parsons slipped a small palette
+knife between the sashes, but Azalea Lodge had been fitted up regardless
+of expense, and the window-catch was a patent one which resisted the
+efforts of Mr. Parsons; but that gentleman was equal to the occasion; he
+took out a piece of diachylon plaister, apparently from the small of his
+back, really from one of the numerous receptacles of his professional
+coat; he carefully affixed and smoothed the plaister over the top centre
+pane of the lower sash, and then he rapidly drew a glazier's diamond
+round the pane. Spreading his left hand out upon the middle of the
+plaister he struck a smart blow upon his fingers with his right fist; he
+had smashed the window, but without noise--there was no crash or rattle
+of falling glass. With deliberate care Mr. Parsons effected an opening
+in the broken window, in a workmanlike manner, large enough to admit his
+right hand, and then with a smile he gently opened Sharp's Patent Safety
+window-catch. Mr. Parsons now raised the window-sash with ease, and,
+taking his boots in his hand, effected his felonious entry, leaping
+lightly and noiselessly into the room. Mr. Parsons placed his boots in
+the fender to warm, for nothing is more unpleasant to a careful man than
+the putting on of cold boots. And now Mr. Parsons proceeded to carefully
+and deliberately wash his hands and to remove from them the grimy traces
+of his honest labour; then he lighted a short piece of candle--the match
+he used gave forth no warning sound. He examined the lock, the key was
+in the door, the projecting end of it he seized with a pair of
+peculiarly-made forceps, the key turned noiselessly and with ease. Mr.
+Parsons ascended the kitchen stairs and proceeded straight to the
+dining-room, for he was no vulgar thief to whom the contents of the
+larder of Azalea Lodge would present attractions, but an industrious
+tradesman and a keen man of business.
+
+Mr. Parsons was occupied for at least half-an-hour in the dining-room,
+for in the massive oak sideboard he found a good deal of portable
+property; the patent locks soon yielded to his skilful attack, and the
+spoons and forks were rapidly packed by him into the smallest possible
+compass and placed in a bag of suitable size. But Mr. Parsons looked in
+vain for any sign of the racing plate which had attracted his attention
+upon his first visit to Azalea Lodge. He placed the bag containing the
+plunder upon the hall table, and then, his lighted end of candle in his
+hand, he ascended the stairs. When he reached the first floor he heard
+the regular breathing of the sleeping Lord Hetton; he carefully removed
+his lordship's boots from the mat and gently tried the door, blowing out
+his candle as he did so, for the landing was illuminated by a flicker
+of gas, and had his lordship awakened, the light would have betrayed the
+intruder. The burglar entered the room without noise, and the heavy
+breathing of the sleeper continued without intermission. Mr. Parsons
+looked around him; his eyes at once alighted on the object of his
+search; in a corner of the room stood a large safe of painted iron of
+the most recent construction--Chubbs' Patent Safety. Mr. Parsons was
+quite aware of what Chubbs' Patent Safety meant; he knew full well that
+a Chubbs' safe would successfully withstand his attempts for a period of
+twenty-four hours at least, and that picking the lock would be quite a
+hopeless matter. But Mr. Parsons did not despond; he knew that owners of
+safes generally keep the key upon their persons. He looked towards the
+sleeper; upon a small table at the bedside lay his heavy gold Frodsham
+chronograph, to the massive chain of which was attached a long slender
+steel key. The burglar possessed himself of the watch and appendages,
+knelt down in front of the safe, which yielded to the key, and in a few
+moments the Toiler of the Night was busy with Lord Hetton's racing
+trophies. There they lay, the glittering, precious baubles, the prizes
+for which their owner had schemed ever since his early manhood, the
+useless cups, vases, &c., which had cost their fortunate proprietor far
+more than their weight in purest gold. The feelings of Mr. Parsons may
+be better imagined than described; they must have somewhat resembled
+those of Ali Baba when the treasures of the Forty Thieves first met his
+astonished eye. Is it to be wondered at then that Mr. Parsons lost his
+head for the moment, and that though his eyes were busily employed he
+forgot to use his ears; he forgot to note that Lord Hetton's breathing,
+which was a heavy snore when he entered the room, was now inaudible.
+
+His lordship, who had been sleeping heavily, had not exactly awakened,
+though had he been addressed at the moment he would probably have
+answered coherently enough; the fact was that he had been sound asleep
+and dreaming a pleasant dream, and in a state of semi-consciousness he
+was trying to recall the delightful vision, but it was gone for ever,
+and he appealed to his memory in vain. Lying perfectly still on his
+back, his lordship half-opened his eyes, and they rested upon the top of
+Mr. Parsons' head, which exactly intervened between them and an object
+they were accustomed habitually to rest upon, namely, the bright gilded
+handle of the Chubbs' safe. But the sleepy eyes closed again, and
+reopening half mechanically sought the missing handle. Lord Hetton now
+opened his eyes widely enough, and almost thoroughly awake stared,
+without moving his head, in search of the accustomed object. He saw the
+top of the safe, but he failed to discern the gay lines of green paint
+and gilding which decorated the door; then it slowly dawned upon Lord
+Hetton's mind that he was no longer dreaming, or even dozing, but that
+he was almost wide awake, and that the door of his iron safe was open.
+And then his lordship became seriously alarmed. Not that he was by any
+means a coward, but it is alarming to awaken from one's tranquil
+slumbers and to feel that one may have to fight for one's life and
+property against possible unknown odds, and without one's clothes. A man
+may feel very brave indeed with his boots on, but take away his clothes
+and it considerably reduces his courage. As Lord Hetton became gradually
+thoroughly wide awake, he grew alive to the fact, not only that the safe
+door was open, but that (what the Divorce Court calls) "a person
+unknown" was tampering with its contents. Now perhaps the most prudent
+thing that Lord Hetton could have done would have been to have gone to
+sleep again, but it never for one moment occurred to his mind to allow
+himself to be robbed with impunity. Thoroughly awake at last, Lord
+Hetton could with difficulty contain his rage, and it was only by a
+powerful exertion of his own will that he did restrain himself from
+rushing from his bed and attacking the intruder with his naked fists.
+But, he reflected, the thief or thieves were probably armed; he
+remembered too that there was no assistance to be obtained in the house
+itself, and that there was no means of arousing the neighbourhood. And
+then Lord Hetton's mind, which was a cool one, came to a determination.
+Very slowly indeed, and perfectly silently, Lord Hetton gradually
+stretched out his arm from the bed towards the little table upon which
+his watch had lain; but it was not upon the top of the table that his
+extended fingers attempted to grasp the object which they sought, but on
+a ledge several inches beneath. On that ledge lay a loaded six-chamber
+revolver. His lordship's fingers gradually closed upon the butt of the
+weapon, gradually and noiselessly he raised it, and with his thumb he
+proceeded to cock it.
+
+There was an ominous click.
+
+His lordship sprang from the bed, pistol in hand.
+
+The man Parsons started to his feet with equal celerity, and the two men
+stood glaring at each other.
+
+There was an appreciable instance of silence, and each of the
+adversaries could hear the loud beating of his own heart.
+
+"You infernal villain, if you don't surrender, I'll blow your brains
+out," hissed his lordship.
+
+The burglar made no reply, but placed his right hand in his bosom, and
+in an instant his keen cruel sheath knife was raised high above his
+head, and without a word, like an infuriated tiger, he rushed upon the
+sporting nobleman.
+
+Lord Hetton pulled the trigger, there was a sharp click, that was all.
+His lordship swore a bitter oath, as it flashed through his mind that in
+his excitement of rage and indignation he had forgotten to withdraw the
+safety catch.
+
+There was no time to do it now, for the burglar was upon him. Hetton
+struck the man furiously in the face with the butt of the pistol, but
+the thief succeeded in avoiding the full force of the blow, and used his
+knife with murderous dexterity. The pistol dropped from his lordship's
+failing hand, each man had the other by the throat, and the thief
+continued to mercilessly hack and stab, for he knew that he was fighting
+for liberty, and even life. Gradually he forced his victim down upon the
+floor, he placed his knee upon his chest, and tightened his cruel grip
+upon the throat of the fallen man. They still glared at each other and
+struggled on in horrid silence, but gradually the convulsive clutch of
+Lord Hetton's fingers relaxed, the glare of rage and hate disappeared
+from his eyes, and its place was taken by a dull leaden stare. For Lord
+Hetton was dead.
+
+But not for several minutes did the burglar relax his grip of the dead
+man's throat; and then it dawned upon him that he was a murderer, that
+in a few short hours justice would be upon his track; and he shuddered
+with mingled horror and remorse as he mechanically wiped the blade of
+his knife between his fingers, ere he returned it to its sheath.
+
+The man Parsons had been cool and collected enough before, but now he
+trembled, and he hurried out upon the landing with anxiety, to listen if
+there was any movement in the house. The struggle had been fierce, but
+there had been no noise. The murderer was considerably reassured, as he
+marked the dead silence that reigned in the place, and then he turned
+again towards the door of the fatal bedroom. He hesitated to enter it,
+for the wretch, though full of brute courage, feared to look again upon
+the face of the victim he had done to death. But there was nothing else
+for it; he entered the room in fear and trepidation, he gathered up his
+plunder with a shaking hand, and carefully secured it in a Gladstone bag
+which lay in the dressing-room; on it were the initials of the master of
+Azalea Lodge. Last of all he thrust the watch and chain of the murdered
+man into his pocket; then he looked upon the ground and saw with horror
+the marks of his own guilty foot-prints in hideous red blurs upon the
+gay carpet. He removed his tell-tale felt slippers, and the bag in one
+hand, the slippers in the other, and holding the end of the bit of
+candle which he had re-lighted high above his head, he regained the
+hall. He carefully placed the little parcel which he had left upon the
+hall table in the bag, and stuffing a sheep's skin mat and the
+blood-stained slippers in as well, he succeeded in deadening the
+jangling noise made by the plate. He snatched down an Inverness cape
+which hung in the hall and flung it over his arm, and on tiptoe he
+gained the housemaid's pantry in safety; he put on his boots and washed
+his blood-stained hands. Then he strode down the garden of Azalea Lodge,
+carrying in his hand the rope and three-pronged hook by which he had
+entered the premises. He scaled several walls with cat-like celerity,
+and then secreted himself among the shrubs of the front garden of a
+house in a main road of St. John's Wood. From this hiding-place he saw
+with satisfaction the infrequent policeman pass on his nocturnal round;
+then he put on the Inverness cape, which gave him a rather distinguished
+appearance, and walked boldly forth, carrying his Gladstone bag. He
+hailed the first hansom he met and drove to Charing Cross; there he took
+another cab to Matilda Street. He dismissed the man at the corner, and
+reached his lair.
+
+Here the man Parsons disappears from our story. Early dawn saw him on
+board the Antwerp boat, and he reached the Continent in safety. No doubt
+he had his reward, in this world or the next.
+
+And so Lord Hetton died, unlamented save by his lonely old father at
+Walls End Castle and by the woman who firmly believed that the very last
+determination of his life had been to cast her off as a worn-out garment
+and to "wash his hands" of her for ever. Save to these two persons, and
+to those who had had the misfortune to back Lord Hetton's nomination for
+the coming Derby, his death made no difference to anybody. We have
+forgotten Reginald Haggard; he, lucky fellow, of course benefited, for
+it brought him one step nearer to the Pit Town title.
+
+It was after all but a vulgar tragedy, though it made considerable noise
+at the time.
+
+When, in the early morning, the housemaid at Azalea Lodge found her
+pantry door unlocked, she was alarmed; and when she saw that the window
+was open and that one of the protecting iron bars had been wrenched
+aside, she very nearly fainted. In her tribulation she hurried to her
+fellow servants and informed them of her startling discovery. The four
+women were terribly frightened, and it was only after a considerable
+amount of persuasion that the cook consented to put on her bonnet and go
+in search of the police. While she was absent the three other women
+fortified themselves in the kitchen and awaited her return in fear and
+trembling. Constable Bulger, 130 D, was soon upon the scene; he examined
+the pantry window from the outside, he looked very wisely indeed at the
+foot-prints in the soft gravel path, and directed that they should
+remain undisturbed; and then he entered the house and proceeded to
+interrogate the servants.
+
+"Anything missing, ladies?" he said.
+
+No, nothing was missing in the basement, and the policeman and the
+frightened maids ascended to the hall, where the parlourmaid instantly
+detected the absence of the Inverness cape.
+
+"There's more gone than that, miss," said Constable Bulger. "They don't
+effect a forcible entry now-a-days for the sake of a coat or two; we'd
+better look in the dining-room."
+
+The parlourmaid flung open the shutters and drew up the blinds, letting
+in the bright sunshine. As the girl turned from the window she gave a
+succession of eldritch screams and went off into violent hysterics; for
+she saw that the doors of the massive sideboard were standing wide open
+and that the empty plate-basket lay upon the floor. Constable Bulger was
+perfectly satisfied in his own mind that the parlourmaid, at all events,
+had had nothing to do with the burglary which had evidently been
+committed. For portly 130 D prided himself, and perhaps with some
+justice, on his intimate knowledge of the ways of women. He knew
+perfectly well that the dreadful laugh was not simulated, and he was
+quite aware of the appropriate remedies.
+
+"Let her lie flat on the floor, ma'am," he said to the cook, "and just
+you run for a little water, miss, and be spry," was his command to the
+frightened housemaid, who, pale as ashes, was standing in the doorway.
+"Is his lordship at home?" said Bulger. "I'd better see him at once.
+Just run up and say I am here," added he.
+
+But not one of the women stirred; all three redoubled their assiduities
+to the recovering parlourmaid, but each firmly declined to quit the
+dining-room, on the ground that "it wasn't a woman's place."
+
+"Just keep your eye on the roadway, one of you," said the constable,
+"the sergeant'll be passing directly, and if you see him you'd better
+call to him."
+
+And then Constable Bulger undid the button of his truncheon case, not
+that he expected to find any one on the premises, but it was as well to
+be prepared for the worst, and he then ascended the stairs. One of the
+bedroom doors was wide open, and a horrid sight met his astonished eyes.
+
+On the floor lay the murdered master of Azalea Lodge. The face looked
+like a waxen mask; the lips were bloodless and of an ashen grey,
+slightly parted, leaving the regular teeth of the dead man painfully
+apparent. The eyes were wide open and had a terror-stricken look; but
+the hands were clenched. The dead man lay in a pool of blood, with which
+his white nightdress was stained in many places.
+
+The constable drew his truncheon, looked under the bed and into the
+dressing-room; a glance at the open safe told him that it had been
+rifled. Then, without in the slightest degree disturbing the dead man
+or his surroundings, the constable left the room, locking the door and
+placing the key in his pocket. He made a perfunctory search through the
+rest of the house, though he knew full well that the murderer had fled;
+and as he descended the stairs and rejoined the frightened women, his
+sergeant, whom the cook had hailed from the dining-room window, appeared
+upon the scene.
+
+In a whisper Bulger communicated to him what had taken place; but while
+he was yet speaking shrieks and cries were heard from the dining-room.
+Both men hurriedly entered it. The parlourmaid, mad with terror, was
+struggling with the other women.
+
+"They have murdered him," she shrieked. "Oh God! they have murdered
+him," she reiterated, as she pointed to a great pink stain upon the
+ceiling.
+
+There was no need to break to them the dreadful news now. The girl
+continued to shriek and point at the awful stain for some minutes, and
+then went off in a dead faint.
+
+All that morning a little crowd stopped to whisper and point at Azalea
+Lodge. In vain a special policeman entreated them to move on; they
+merely passed over to the other side to point and whisper in mingled
+excitement and curiosity. The red-coated newsvendors did a thriving
+trade in the neighbourhood on that day.
+
+"Special edition. Frightful murder of a nobleman by burglars. Flight of
+the murderers. Further horrible details." The red-coated men's harvest
+was a precarious one, and they made the most of it; they even succeeded
+in selling some of their papers at a shilling a-piece. But the
+purchasers were disappointed, for though the newspaper reporters had
+swelled their description of what they called "The Tragedy in High Life
+in St. John's Wood," into two columns of leaded type, yet nothing more
+was to be gained from it all than that the heir to the Pit Town title
+had been brutally murdered by a midnight thief, that the assassin had
+escaped with his plunder, and as yet had succeeded in baffling the
+efforts of the police.
+
+Ere nightfall every police station in the metropolis displayed a
+hand-bill headed by the startling word "MURDER," in big black letters,
+and offering a reward for the apprehension of a man wearing an Inverness
+cape and carrying a Gladstone bag. For days the police stations were
+besieged by anxious informers, desirous to give information about men
+with Gladstone bags and Inverness capes. Both cabmen came forward, and
+the murderer was traced as far as Matilda Street, but here the scent
+failed utterly; and though the old lord offered a further and larger
+reward, and smug-looking men, in slop clothes and billycock hats, hung
+about Matilda Street at all hours of the day and night, yet they failed
+to come upon any trace of Lord Hetton's murderer.
+
+Twelve good men and true, his lordship's butcher, baker and candlestick
+maker and nine others of the same kidney, found a verdict of "Wilful
+Murder;" and two days after the inquest the body of the unhappy nobleman
+was conveyed to Walls End Castle and interred with due pomp in the
+family vault. The old lord, Mr. Haggard of the Home Office and Reginald
+Haggard, followed it to the grave.
+
+Mr. Haggard had had a rather painful interview with a lady dressed in
+deep mourning in the dining-room of Azalea Lodge, on the morning of the
+removal of his lordship's body. The lady's grief was evidently
+unfeigned. When Mr. Haggard had informed her that the dead man had left
+her all he had to give, she was in no way consoled, and merely continued
+to sob and wring her hands in the bitterness of her grief.
+
+A fortnight afterwards Azalea Lodge was in the hands of an auctioneer.
+The first-rate modern furniture, by Gillow, was eagerly inspected by the
+curious, and fetched fancy prices. Six months afterwards Lord Hetton's
+very existence was forgotten, save by his father and a lady dressed in
+deep mourning, who gambled with feverish energy at Monte Carlo, vainly
+striving, poor thing, in that way to drown the remembrance of the past.
+
+The wicked man's epitaph, as a rule, may be generally appropriately
+written in the pithy words "He was, and is not." Like a stone dropped
+into the water he disappears and leaves no trace.
+
+
+    END OF VOL. II.
+
+
+PRINTED BY
+KELLY AND CO., GATE STREET, LINCOLN'S INN FIELDS, W.C.;
+AND MIDDLE MILL, KINGSTON-ON-THAMES.
+
+
+
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+Most of the apparent printers' errors have been retained. A few have
+been changed, including the one listed below.
+
+Line 3920 in Chapter X where a comma was inserted in the phrase 'he
+would secure the competence he had yearned for, for so many years'.
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42168 ***