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diff --git a/42167-0.txt b/42167-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..00d6ed6 --- /dev/null +++ b/42167-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4656 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42167 *** + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through + Internet Archive/American Libraries. See + http://archive.org/details/pittowncoronetfa01will + + + Project Gutenberg has the other two volumes of this work. + Volume II: see http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42168 + Volume III: see http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42169 + + + + + +THE PIT TOWN CORONET: + +A Family Mystery. + +by + +CHARLES J. WILLS, + +Author of +"In the Land of the Lion and Sun," etc. + +In Three Volumes. + +VOL. I. + + + + + + + +Ward and Downey, +12, York Street, Covent Garden, London, W.C. +1888 + +[The right of translation is reserved, and the Dramatic Copyright +protected.] + +Printed by +Kelly and Co., Gate Street, Lincoln's Inn Fields, W.C.; +and Middle Mill, Kingston-on-Thames. + + + +THE PIT TOWN CORONET. + + + INSCRIBED + TO + EDMUND YATES, Esq. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAP. PAGE + + I.--IN THE ROSE GARDEN 1 + + II.--THE CROQUET PARTY 26 + + III.--THE VILLAGE DORCAS 45 + + IV.--WALLS END CASTLE 67 + + V.--AT THE PANDEMONIUM CLUB 96 + + VI.--GEORGIE'S WEDDING 118 + + VII.--LORD MAYOR'S DAY 138 + + VIII.--AT THE CASTLE 161 + + IX.--ANASTATIA'S COURTSHIP 182 + + X.--ROME.--THE BALLO PAPAYANI 205 + + XI.--A MEETING IN THE GOOD OLD STYLE 229 + + XII.--THE VILLA LAMBERT 256 + + + + + THE PIT TOWN CORONET. + + + + + CHAPTER 1. + + IN THE ROSE GARDEN. + + +Big Reginald Haggard had been exceedingly attentive to the elder of two +very pretty girls of the name of Warrender. Both families came from the +eastern counties. The Warrenders had inhabited The Warren, or at all +events the older portion of the house, for nearly four centuries. They +were harmless people. They manfully stuck to their ancestral acres of +fat Essex land. The present head of the family farmed the greater part +of the estate himself, as his fathers had done before him. Many a +Warrender had held the rich living of King's Warren, and the parson, +whoever he might be, and the reigning Squire Warrender were always the +two greatest men in King's Warren village and parish. + +In the rather old-fashioned garden at The Warren sat a young lady, an +open book upon her lap; the book was not a novel, it was an +argumentative work, a book which dealt with the social problems of the +day. But, alas! the book which Georgina Warrender had brought out with +the serious intention of reading, for the Warrenders of either sex, +though always soft-hearted, were a hard-headed race, lay upside down +upon her lap. The fact is that she was weighing a man in the balance, an +interesting occupation for a lady, and, alas! finding him a little +wanting. Georgie Warrender had received a great deal of attention during +the London season. Her people were well-to-do, the ancestral freeholds +were unencumbered, her family was eminently respectable and well known, +her connections unimpeachable; but Miss Warrender's principal attraction +to those who had the privilege of her acquaintance outside the world of +balls, dinner parties and musical evenings, was the sturdy +open-heartedness of her character, which often distinguishes well +brought-up young ladies who have been reared in an atmosphere at once +intelligent and healthy, but not ultra-intellectual. Miss Warrender had +no craze. She played and sang sufficiently well, but not well enough to +be a terror to the home circle. She drew and sketched, as a pastime, but +she had no desire to compete with professional artists, nor was her +conversation interlarded with the jargon of the craft. Her reading had +been carefully directed by her governess, Miss Hood, who had remained to +discharge the onerous duties of chaperon, guide, philosopher, and, above +all, friend to Georgie Warrender and her cousin Lucy. + +Lucy Warrender was Georgie's cousin on the father's side. Colonel +Warrender, as the younger brother, was naturally intended for the +family living of King's Warren. But fiery young George Warrender +declined the Church altogether, so he was sent to Hailybury, and then he +became a soldier of John Company, and was soon known as Fighting George +Warrender, and by dint of following his own bent attained the colonelcy +of a native regiment. Then he had a good determined shake at the pagoda +tree. And then he made a fool of himself, for just as he had come down +to Bombay, having made up his mind to take two years' leave, he was +smitten by the blonde beauty of a newly-imported "spin," fresh from the +boarding-school; and being an impulsive man, Colonel George Warrender +married the little boarding-school miss, and changed his mind about his +furlough. Within a year his daughter Lucy was born. And then the cholera +came to Bebreabad, swept off Colonel Warrender and his pale-faced +child-wife; and the little Lucy, his orphan daughter, came home at once +in charge of an ayah in the Company's ship "Lord Clive." On her arrival +Squire Warrender pitied the little misery, as she was called by +everybody, and treated her as his own daughter. There was but two years' +difference between the girls, and they looked upon each other as +sisters. The squire's wife had died within a year of his daughter's +birth, so that practically neither of the cousins had ever known a +mother's care. Squire Warrender's wife had been a local beauty, and her +portrait, which hung in Mr. Warrender's study, represented a loveliness +of no common type. + +Both the girls rode well, but neither was horsey nor doggy. One of the +greatest attractions in everybody's eyes about Georgie Warrender was her +openness; she never had a secret from Miss Hood, her father, or her +cousin. In fact, secrecy was foreign to her nature. As to her +appearance, she was a fine, well-developed, thoroughly English girl, +fully justifying the raptures and rhapsodies of her numerous admirers. +But it is not with her appearance that we are at present concerned, but +with the subject of her meditations. + +That subject was a serious one, for in her pocket was a formal proposal +from Reginald Haggard, whom she had known as "Big Reginald Haggard" from +her childhood. It is probably an axiom that every English girl, under +ordinary circumstances, accepts her first offer; the reason of this is +not very manifest, but it is nevertheless a fact, and its being a fact +is doubtless one of the causes of the numerous ill-assorted matches that +constantly take place. But Miss Warrender, now twenty years of age, had +been an exception to the rule. During her first and successful London +season, now just over, she had refused three serious offers. The first +was from an impecunious young barrister, who had attained some repute in +the literary world, and had very nearly killed himself in the process. +Mr. Baliol had admired Miss Warrender, had made careful inquiries as to +her father's position, had discovered that the two girls would probably +be the old man's heiresses, and had promptly proposed to Georgie. He had +been as promptly refused. Mr. Baliol was in no wise disconcerted. He +immediately proceeded to dedicate his new novel, "A Woman's Fickle +Heart," "to Miss G---- W----, in token of respectful admiration." Baliol +scored another success at the circulating libraries, and at once ceased +to trouble himself any more about Miss G---- W----. + +Georgina's second proposal was of a more serious nature. Young Lord +Spunyarn had made her an offer. Lord Spunyarn desired an ornamental +wife. To him the ideal Lady Spunyarn was a young person respectably +connected, good-tempered, and of prepossessing appearance. Not one iota +did Spunyarn care for money, birth or brains; of money he had plenty and +to spare: as to birth, was he not Lord Spunyarn? as to brains, clever +women were considered bores by his lordship. The young nobleman liked +Georgie Warrender, and he liked her people. Though rejected, rather to +his astonishment, it made no difference in his friendship with the +family. "It's an awful bore, you know. Unluckily they all know it at the +club--I mean that I was going to make you an offer--and I heard that one +of the society journals had the announcement of our engagement already +in type. You see, I was to have dined here to-morrow. If you don't mind, +I'll come all the same." He did come, did full justice to the dinner, +sat next to Georgie, whom he took down, and the pair, thoroughly +heartwhole, had a great deal to say to each other. + +Georgina's next experience was of a more comic character; her conquest +was no longer a nobleman, but a "noble." Jones di Monte-Ferrato was a +Maltese noble. He possessed certain rights of nobility in the island, +his income was derived from the sale of Maltese oranges; in fact he was +the titular head of Jones and Co., the well-known fruit house of Thames +Street. In Thames Street, Jones di Monte-Ferrato said nothing about his +nobility, he was "our Mr. Jones." But on his visiting cards was a +portentous crown, and Jones di Monte-Ferrato habitually wore a coloured +_boutonnière_ in his frock coat; being red, this decoration was +popularly supposed to be the Legion of Honour: it had been purchased +however, and purchased cheaply, from the Pope. Jones' nobility carried +him far in Maida Vale and Bayswater. Needless to tell, Miss Warrender +would have nothing to say to him. + +To say that Georgie Warrender was perfectly heartwhole as she unfolded +Haggard's letter, is nothing but the truth. Of course she liked young +Haggard, but so did every one. Haggard had enjoyed an extraordinary +popularity. Related as he was to the Earl of Pit Town, he was a welcome +guest in the best houses. He had been a dancing man, and could dance +well, was exceedingly good-looking, and consequently a catch at the +small and earlies and also at more elaborate entertainments. When a very +young man he had been a detrimental, having rapidly dissipated his +little fortune. Penniless, he went to America; in eight years he +returned, well off, as good-looking as ever, and with the possibility, +the extremely unlikely possibility, of one day succeeding to the earldom +of Pit Town. There are some men who always fall on their feet, some men +for whom fortune is never tired of turning up trumps; Haggard was one of +these men. When it is said that Haggard was a man of the world in its +broadest sense, nothing remains to tell. If he had a religion at all it +was the worship of his own dear self. Big Reginald remembered Georgie +Warrender as a chit of twelve; he met her again one of the brightest +ornaments of London society; he heard her spoken of there as handsome +Miss Warrender; and just as he would have longed for a very valuable +hunter to carry his sixteen stone to hounds, so he desired to obtain +Georgie's hand; because without doubt she was the handsomest, +healthiest, pleasantest and most unexceptionable girl it had ever been +his good fortune to come across. + +The letter seemed honest enough, it was short and to the point. + + "DEAR MISS WARRENDER, + + "You will probably not be surprised at my addressing you on a + subject important to us both. We have known each other since the + time when you were a little girl and I was a big bad boy. I + don't trouble you with business matters, but I have spoken to + Mr. Warrender and fully satisfied him on that head. It is with + his approbation that I ask you to become my wife. I know that + the very remote possibility of a coronet will not weigh with + you, but I do think you ought to let it count against my + disadvantages. You will get this at breakfast time. I shall ride + over about eleven to urge my suit in person; may I hope that + your good nature will spare me the negative I doubtless deserve, + and that you will give me a chance? + + "Yours very affectionately, + + "REGINALD HAGGARD." + +As Georgie replaced the letter in its envelope she blushed; had Haggard +been indifferent to her she would not have hung out this signal of +distress. It is impossible to follow the course of reasoning of a +woman's mind. Georgie Warrender was no raw girl to be caught by the mere +good looks of big Reginald. But first impressions go a great way; she +remembered the young fellow in the reckless daring of his first youth; +she remembered, too, her feeling of pity when she heard of the +prodigal's banishment to a far country to feed the proverbial swine. +Georgie remembered, too, the triumphant return of that prodigal some six +months ago. She had been pleased at the prodigal's attentions, and she +knew that many girls, of far greater social pretensions than her own, +would willingly have accepted the addresses of the bronzed, curly-headed +giant with the big moustache. Perhaps she would have been wiser had she +taken counsel with Miss Hood, or had she deliberated more calmly. But +Georgie was a self-reliant girl. Even now she heard the measured tread +of her lover's hack as he trotted up to the hall door of The Warren. She +looked at her watch, it wanted five minutes of the hour. Miss Warrender +smiled at her lover's excessive punctuality; his impatience boded well +she thought. + +Another instant and he is striding down the path of the rose garden; a +happy look is on his face, though it is slightly pale with suppressed +excitement. Georgie Warrender's pink roses attain a damask hue as she +rises to greet him. + +Fortune, fickle goddess, still befriends her favourite. There was no +outward sign of hesitation or diffidence about Haggard, as he held out +his hand to Miss Warrender. + +"It's very good of you to see me; I'm afraid I don't deserve it," he +said, seating himself beside her on the rustic bench, and, man-like, +commencing to bore holes in the gravel with the stout ash-plant which he +carried. Youth and maid decorously continued to gaze upon the ground and +to critically study their own foot coverings. Haggard was a man who +looked well in any dress, but the grey tweed suit which he wore, the +artistic bit of red of his loosely-tied sailor's knot, his big grey felt +hat, his leggings also of tweed, even his stout but well-made lace-up +boots seem to give the young giant the needful halo of romance. This, +the usual morning dress of a young English gentleman in the country, is +what is generally selected as the costume of the hero of an Adelphi +drama, when that wonderful young man is discovered in his virtuous home +prior to the commencement of his numerous sufferings and hair-breadth +escapes. As for Georgie, the conventional French muslin set off her +faultless figure, a large Leghorn hat protected her delicate complexion +from the sun's rays, her magnificent hair was worn in the rather severe +Grecian style, but then the big plait at the back was all her own, and +the bronze chestnut locks, tightly strained as they were around her +head, disclosed the small shell-like ear, that sign of breeding which it +is impossible to counterfeit. Probably Georgie Warrender had been right +when, as a girl, she had declined to have those pretty ears pierced. If +we accept the hypothesis that beauty unadorned is adorned the most, then +Georgie in her native loveliness was, indeed, highly decorated. But she +was nervous in this formal _tête-à-tête_; this showed itself in her +heightened colour, which was still maintained, and in the occasional +movement of her delicately fashioned little bronze shoes. As Sir John +Suckling said long ago: + + "Her feet beneath her petticoat, + Like little mice peeped in and out, + As though they feared the light." + +The quotation is somewhat hackneyed, perhaps; but it ran through +Reginald Haggard's mind, as he prodded his stick into the gravel. + +"I'm afraid, Miss Warrender, that I have betrayed you into a +_tête-à-tête_. Your father wished me luck, and told me I should find you +here, while your cousin informed me that we should be _quite_ +undisturbed. May I hope that you will give me a chance; that possibly, +after a time, I may not altogether be indifferent to you, Georgie?" +Again the rosy flush mantled on the girl's tell-tale cheek. Haggard +continued, "Of course you have seen, dear Georgie, that I have been +very hard hit this season, for a lazy ne'er-do-weel like myself to dance +attendance at every entertainment that Miss Warrender graced with her +presence, must have made the state of my affections pretty manifest I +suppose. We have known each other a long time. I have never done +anything mean or dirty that I know of, Georgie. Of course I was a young +fool, and kicked up my heels as young fools do. But I think I have had +all the nonsense knocked out of me. My roving life in Mexico and my +chase after the almighty dollar have sobered me. Can you trust me, +Georgie? I'll be good to you, upon my word I will. Good to you and proud +of you, if you'll only give me the chance. You are too clever for me to +attempt to argue you into it. But, dear Georgie, I love you as I never +loved any woman breathing, and not with the mere passing fancy of a boy. +I have seen the world and a good deal of life, the gilded and the seamy +sides. Tell me, Georgie. May I hope? Will you give me a chance?" + +Georgie looked into his eyes and smiled. He had spoken it trippingly on +the tongue, though seemingly spontaneous, it had been well thought out; +for Haggard was an actor, a leading gentleman, well experienced in +lovers' _rôles_. It is not meant by this that Haggard was what the old +song calls a "star-breasted villain." But Georgie Warrender was not by +any means his first love. Haggard looked upon Georgie as a valuable +acquisition; from the physical point of view she was the finest, +freshest, fairest girl he had come across. And he coveted her as an +amateur covets a picture; that it may belong to him, and that others may +fruitlessly desire his pearl of great price. True, no sordid +consideration influenced Haggard. Can we call this love? Let us be +charitable and do so. But we will also be just and qualify. It was love +of the nineteenth century, of the society type. + +"You pay me a great compliment, Mr. Haggard, a very undeserved +compliment. I cannot pretend to be taken by surprise, for, as you say, +your attentions _have_ been very marked. What am I to say to you? With a +girl it is a very serious matter; for once we give our hearts, at least +some of us, Mr. Haggard, we give them for good and all. A mistake once +made, in our case, cannot be set right. Our affections once given away +to a man, and perhaps afterwards flung aside, then leave us with nothing +to bestow but our miserable selves. Are you quite sure you have made up +your mind, and that you won't want to change it?" she said, looking up +archly in his face. + +But his teeth were set, and the muscles of his massive jaw were working +hard, as he gazed intently on the gravel at his feet. It was evidently +no laughing matter with Haggard. The muscles of his jaw had worked in a +similar way only a week ago, when he stood on the grand stand at Epsom, +and saw the favourite, whom he had backed heavily, almost "collared" on +the post; but the favourite had won, and Dark Despair had failed to land +the odds of sixty to one laid against him. So had the muscles of +Reginald Haggard's jaw worked when he had "bluffed" Don Emmanuel Garcia +at the almost historical game of poker, which they had played at +Chihuahua. Haggard had only held knave high, about as small a hand as a +poker player can hold; he had successfully "bluffed" the Mexican, and +won. He is bluffing now, for hearts are trumps at the game that is being +played; and we, who look over the cards of both hands, can see that big +Reginald's at least is a poor one. Will he win? Of course he will. What +chance has Georgie Warrender against so experienced a player? The stakes +were Haggard's before he had cut or shuffled the cards. + +"Sure, Georgie? of course I'm sure. I may hope, then? I may dare to +hope?" + +Wise man as he was, he carried the place by a determined rush. He took +her hand in his, the taper little fingers were not withdrawn. + +"Georgie, darling, how can I thank you? I am not good at this sort of +thing." + +If he had not attained perfection in the art of love, it was certainly +not for want of practice; for if the truth be told, the big Lothario +habitually made love to every pretty woman he met; and if there was no +pretty woman, then to the least unprepossessing one of those present. +The rest of the conversation went on much as such conversations usually +do. Haggard swore eternal constancy. Georgie confessed that she +"supposed she did care for him." But this modified sympathy did not +satisfy Haggard; he pleaded for something more explicit. + +"I have always liked you, Mr. Haggard," she said, for Georgie could not +yet bring herself to address her lover by his Christian name; "but I +fear I must seem a very poor creature after all the dashing +South-American beauties, to say nothing of the many recognized successes +of the past season." + +"But you were the success of the past season, Georgie. Everybody knows +it. Why, they raved about you. You must know very well that Madame +Hortense made a little fortune with the 'Warrender' hat." + +"Ah, that was Lucy's idea, not mine, Mr. Haggard." + +"A very charming idea, Georgie, but never so charming as when you wore +it." + +Georgie Warrender rose and made him a low courtesy. "I see you deal in +sugared compliments," she said. + +He got up and offered his arm. + +The hideous and snobbish custom of taking a lady's arm had not then been +invented. And to do him justice, even if it had, Haggard was too much of +a gentleman to have attempted it. For customs borrowed from the habits +of the _demi monde_ would have been sadly out of place with a girl like +Georgie Warrender. With her cousin it might have been different; but +with Georgie the thing would have been impossible. + +As the extent of his own good luck began to dawn upon Haggard, he felt +that the world had indeed gone very well with him; for as he had marched +down the walk of the old-fashioned rose garden that morning, for the +first time in his life he had felt diffident of success; for the first +time in his life he now vowed in his fickle mind to be true to the +smiling girl who, in the bright glamour of a first love, hung so +confidingly on his arm. Of course he vowed eternal constancy. At lovers' +perjuries they say Jove laughs, and well might the whole Olympian chorus +have joined in the loud guffaw with which the king of all the gods +doubtlessly greeted the protestations of Fortune's favourite. As each +drank deep draughts of the subtle poison from the other's eyes, their +glances grew brighter, and they were only awakened from the dream that +comes to us all, at least once in our lifetimes, by the imperious clash +of the luncheon-bell. Old Mr. Warrender and Lucy appeared upon the lawn, +and the broad smile on her father's face and Lucy's merry laugh told the +happy pair that they might spare any explanation. Georgie, in the pride +of her honest love, disdained to take her hand from the young man's arm. +With womanly dignity she advanced to meet her delighted father. He +kissed her on the forehead, and then the blushing girl took refuge in +her cousin's affectionate embrace. + +"Be good to her, my boy," said Squire Warrender, his honest voice a +little broken as he thought of the old days of his own too short-lived +happiness, and of the proud dead beauty, Georgie's mother. It was a +short speech, but it rang in Reginald Haggard's ears for many a year. + +Will he be good to her? He should be. If not good to her, surely +Reginald Haggard will be less than a dog. + + + + + CHAPTER II. + + THE CROQUET PARTY. + + +Everybody agreed that the day had been a success. The lawn at The Warren +was an ideal croquet-lawn, large, level, and daisyless. It was an old +lawn, and was carefully watered. What better place, then, for the local +tournament to be fought out upon, than the old lawn at The Warren. + +At last the final game has been played. The day had been excessively +warm. Everybody was sitting in the shade discussing the claret-cup, the +syllabubs, the strawberries and cream, and the home-made confectionery, +that were so freely pressed upon the large and rather miscellaneous +assemblage which filled the old-fashioned grounds of Diggory Warrender. +The owner of this archaic name we have met for an instant in the +preceding chapter. He was a hale old country gentleman, a J.P. for his +county, and universally liked. Perhaps there was more of the yeoman than +the squire about old Mr. Warrender. Though he farmed many acres, yet he +did so at a profit, strange to say. But perhaps this is hardly to be +wondered at when it is remembered that the acres were his own, and that +consequently there was no rent to pay. + +Mr. Warrender, who rather scorned claret-cup, was about to discuss the +merits of a foaming tankard of home-brewed ale. The ale was good; +perhaps it tasted the better to old Warrender as he drank it from the +silver tankard of the time of Charles I., which bore the name and arms +of his ancestor, Diggory Warrender, _armiger_, of that epoch. + +"Won't you try some, Lord Spunyarn?" old Warrender said; "It has made me +the man I am," and certainly this statement was a flaming testimonial +to the merits of the Warren ale; for old Warrender, who stood six feet +in his socks, seemed to be all muscle, while his white and perfect +teeth, he being a man of sixty-five, proved that, at all events as yet, +physical decay had not set in, in the master of The Warren. + +But Lord Spunyarn shook his head as he signed to the butler to give him +what he termed a B. and S. + +"Beer is too bulky for me, Warrender," said the spindle-shanked +nobleman, as he stretched out his shapely but rather shaky hand for the +panacea. "I object to bulk, Warrender, on principle; it is my terror of +becoming a welterweight that made me go in for athletics. Why, look at +my father, and they had to make a hole in the wall to get my +grandfather's coffin out of the house. No, Warrender, mind and muscle +are my strong points." + +And so they were in Lord Spunyarn's own idea. Spunyarn was perpetually +in training. He was ever matched against somebody, or against that very +successful competitor, Father Time. But Spunyarn was never "fit," to use +a sporting term. Naturally of a weakly constitution, his originally puny +form had been carefully educated and developed at the great public +school where athletics, "tone," and Latin verse, are the only subjects +seriously taught. Spunyarn had failed to catch the "tone," Latin verse +was a closed book to him, but he stuck to athletics. The name of Lord +Spunyarn was constantly to be seen in the sporting prints, and though +Spunyarn pluckily struggled along, coming in last in the foot races, +being knocked about in the middle-weight boxing matches (knockings about +which, to his credit it must be said, he bore with the patience of a +martyr), yet, with all his sufferings, no single trophy as yet adorned +Lord Spunyarn's rooms in Jermyn Street. + +To-day Spunyarn had been beaten in the croquet tournament, and his +partner had put down their united failure to the presence of Lord +Spunyarn, while Spunyarn himself when they were beaten simply remarked, +"Great mistake not taking the matutinal B. and S., you know." This +hardly consoled the smart young lawyer, his lordship's partner, for his +day's loss of time, his hotel bill, and his new and elaborate morning +kit; still, he had had the honour of playing with a lord. + +But metal more attractive soon compelled Spunyarn's attention, for his +eyes fell upon the two pretty Warrender girls as they tripped towards +the aged host, both hanging on the willing arms of the new Essex lion, +Reggie Haggard. + +Big Reginald Haggard was the ideal of the country maiden. He was not +hideously beautiful, as it has become the fashion to depict the heroes +of modern romance. It may at once be said that Haggard was undeniably +good-looking. His long black moustache gave him, in the eyes of the +ladies assembled at The Warren, the necessary romantic air. What is +very much to the point in such matters was the fact that he was also +extremely well dressed. He had the military neatness without the +military swagger, and for the first time in his life Haggard's well-cut +clothes were paid for, to the unspeakable pleasure and astonishment of +his tailor. For Reginald Haggard, who eight years ago had left the +paternal mansion an expatriated black sheep, had returned a man of +comparative wealth. Turned loose a mere boy in London, his money had +been spent, as young men about town usually spend their money. That +young but very fashionable club, the Pandemonium, that club which has an +oyster cellar in its basement, which keeps open all night, and at which +shilling cigars are _de rigueur_, had been the cause of most of young +Haggard's embarrassments. At the Pandemonium Haggard had made the +acquaintance of Captains Spotstroke and Pool, half-pay; that +acquaintance had naturally proved expensive. Bets were made and paid. +Haggard was introduced to the bill-discounting fraternity, and had even +lunched with the great Hyam Hyams; which fact shows how deep he was in +the books of that great connoisseur and money-lender. As a rule Hyams's +business lay only with members of the aristocracy, but Reginald Haggard +was accepted as a client because he was distantly related to the Earl of +Pit Town. Three lives, three good lives, stood between Haggard and the +childless earl. There are such things as contingent post-obits. In these +precarious commodities the fortune of Mr. Hyam Hyams had been made, +under the astute advice of his solicitor, Mr. Morris Israels, of +Bloomsbury Square, and it was to these precious securities that his +dealings with young Haggard were confined. But at length Hyams would +advance no more. Haggard, at an alarming sacrifice, parted with his +jewellery, bid his family farewell, and quitted Essex for South America. +At the expiration of eight years Haggard returned as a landed +proprietor, the owner of numerous ranches, and of countless flocks and +herds. His liabilities in England consisted solely of his debt to Hyam +Hyams. This debt, however, was only payable in the rather unlikely +contingency of his succeeding to the earldom of Pit Town. Also, much in +opposition to the wishes of that respected solicitor, Mr. Morris +Israels, a power had been reserved to Reginald Haggard to pay off both +the principal and its interest at any time, in the extremely unlikely +event of his ever having the money to do so. Such was Haggard's position +when he became engaged, as has been narrated, to Georgina, Squire +Warrender's handsome daughter, at the end of her first and triumphant +London season. It has been noted that among Georgie's numerous and most +assiduous admirers had been our friend Spunyarn. He had proposed to and +been rejected by Georgie, but they still remained sworn friends. + +The two girls, the elder of whom was but twenty, her cousin being two +years younger, presented a striking contrast. Georgie was a remarkably +fine girl of the true English type. Three centuries of Warrenders, a +family which began as yeomen, but soon took its place in the squirearchy +of its county, had transmitted to Georgie that healthy type, that sound +physique and that clear complexion, which is seen only in England; and +even in England, only among healthy rustics, or the women of those +families of the upper class who habitually pass the greater portion of +the year out of London. Not that Georgie Warrender was a mere rustic +beauty, as her taper hands and tiny feet showed. It takes a good foot to +look well in a walking shoe, and even in the trying walking shoe +Georgie's foot was unmistakably a good one. Her clear blue eyes were +honest and sympathetic; Georgie Warrender looked every one straight in +the face, she had evidently nothing to conceal, nothing to be ashamed or +afraid of. The two girls had been carefully educated, the "ologies" +having been wisely omitted. Georgie's magnificent chestnut bronze hair +was her great attraction. It is needless to say that a lock of it was in +Haggard's pocket-book, and that one of Haggard's raven curls was worn +in Georgie's locket. The engagement was an open one. There was no +self-consciousness about either of the parties. They were both evidently +proud of it. + +Lucy was in many respects the exact opposite of her cousin. Lucy was a +blonde; pretty, rather in the American style. But unlike most American +beauties, far from being a mere skeleton in a skin, Lucy was a plump, +well-developed specimen of the dreamy blonde. In type she much resembled +the descriptions of Madame de Pompadour in her youth, before she had +seen and captivated the great-grandson of the Grand Monarque. She was +_mignonne_, no other word will express it. Her strong points were her +pink and white complexion, her masses of wavy golden hair, her dark +eyebrows and her magnificent hazel eyes; those dark dreamy eyes in which +lurked latent fires. Young as she was, Lucy well knew how to use those +eyes, and the way in which she gazed into the face of her cousin's +betrothed seemed to detract nothing from his happiness. But in the same +way she gazed into Spunyarn's face, it was not mere looking, it was +"gazing." So she had gazed into the local general-practitioner's eyes +when that poor young man looked at her tongue for the first time. It was +Lucy Warrender's burning glance that had temporarily made the village +doctor a discontented man, and had caused him to style his mid-day +hashed mutton "muck." + +In direct contrast, too, to her cousin's, was Lucy's mind. She was not a +girl who could be loved by other girls. Save when employed in "gazing" +_she_ never looked any one straight in the face. The servants, our stern +and acute judges, said that "Miss Lucy wasn't to be trusted, but that +Miss Georgie was as good as gold." As usual, the servants were right. + +"Unsuccessful again, Lord Spunyarn," said Lucy, dropping him an ironical +courtesy, and making a provoking little _moue_. + +"As usual, and I suppose my own fault, though my last serious failure +was certainly not my fault, but entirely due to you, Miss Warrender." + +"It was certainly not your lordship's misfortune," smiled the young +lady. + +Haggard and his _fiancée_ seemed to have a good deal to say to each +other, but probably like that of most engaged persons, their +conversation was merely childish. + +And now the little crowd of players and spectators came to make their +_adieux_. For in the country people still retain the fashion of bidding +their hosts good-bye. Nay, more, they are in the habit of even thanking +them for their entertainment, and for the pleasure they have received: +whereas your fashionable, having had all there is to have, and eaten +and drank of what seemeth unto him good, carefully rejecting the less +_recherché_ viands, simply disappears. He was, and is not. + +The Warrender girls were surrounded by a cluster of artless maidens; +these shook hands and kissed, after the manner of their kind, and as +they were more or less intimate with their hostesses. "He is perfect, +quite perfect," whispered the rector's romantic sister, as she squeezed +Georgie's hand, "but, oh, I do hope that you are sure of his principles, +Georgie, dear, for in marriage so much depends, dear, upon principles." +As Haggard's only principles were his personal comfort, filliped by the +gentle stimulus of frequent flirtations, was Georgie quite right in +replying, "Oh, dear Miss Dodd, I am quite sure of his principles?" +Gradually the miscellaneous gathering took its departure. No man or male +person left the premises without one of Lucy's fatal _oeillades_; each +one of the stronger sex, too, received a rather more than necessary +pressure of her soft and dimpled hand. Many among the elders, nay, the +patriarchs even, felt their pulses quicken at the unexpected pressure +and the sly bright glances; it made them feel, not as if they were +smitten with the good looks of Lucy Warrender, but as if she herself had +been captivated by the prepossessing appearance and manners of each +special victim. That was the art of it. + +The dinner that evening at The Warren was a cheerful one; the humours of +the day were described with biting satire by the gentle Lucy. She it was +who had cruelly incited the stout vicar to elephantine gambols, to the +intense disgust and annoyance of his angular wife. Who but Lucy could +have caused the coldness between young farmer Wurzel and his affianced +bride, Miss Grains, the brewer's daughter? Who but Lucy, as she sat on +the shafts of the horse-roller, listening with apparently rapt attention +to the lucubrations of young Wurzel on the subject of shorthorns. +Perhaps the clasped hands and the ecstatic look were hardly necessary, +for even so interesting a subject as stockbreeding. But Lucy had noted, +out of the corner of her watchful eye, the arrival of Miss Grains, +indignant and perspiring. + +"You'll excuse him, Miss Warrender, it's more thoughtlessness than want +of manners; but he oughtn't to be taking up your time like this," cried +the brewer's daughter, as she bore off her reluctant prize. To this day +nothing will ever persuade the buxom mother of farmer Wurzel's fine +young family that her William was not actually audacious enough to +propose to Miss Lucy Warrender, and that his attentions were favourably +received. So often has poor William Wurzel been twitted on this matter +that he has come to look upon himself as a very Lothario, rescued at the +right moment. + +In the drawing-room things went on much as they always do in country +drawing-rooms in the hot weather. The girls sang; Miss Hood, their +chaperon, played the inevitable Chopin; but (as, unlike zoophites, +chaperons cannot be cut in two pieces, and yet live) Miss Hood felt it +her duty to leave Lucy, and to follow into the verandah Haggard and his +_fiancée_. Perhaps, after all, this may have been rather a relief to the +lovers, for they had had a long innings that day, no one having presumed +to disturb the numerous _têtes-à-tête_ of the engaged couple. + +Squire Warrender sat asleep in his chair, his face covered by a big +brown bandanna, so that actually Spunyarn and Lucy were practically +alone. But the young lord didn't attempt to renew his attentions to +Lucy. In his own mind Spunyarn perhaps felt that he was well out of it. +Lucy, a past-mistress in the art of flirtation, was delicious as a +friend; as a sweetheart there would have been two sides to the question; +but Lucy Warrender as a wife would have been simply appalling and +impossible. Lucy's bygone escapade with her uncle's second footman--for +failing high game, Lucy Warrender was not above captivating even a +second footman--had been carefully hushed up. It was the cause of the +poor young man's receiving a month's wages on the spot and his +dismissal. For Miss Hood had detected him in passing a very pink-looking +letter to Lucy Warrender. Pinker far than the letter were the face and +ears of the guilty domestic, as he placed the intercepted missive in +Miss Hood's hands, on her sternly ordering him to do so. Of course the +letter was shown to Mr. Warrender; he was very angry under the +circumstances. But the letter of the unfortunate Joseph, though it had +caused him many agonies in its composition, was comic in the extreme. It +was full of what the writer called "pottery;" it was the poor young +fellow's first love letter. Alas, it was a mere answer to a letter of +Lucy's; _she_ had commenced the correspondence; it was she who had +thrown the handkerchief. + +Needless to say Lucy was deported at once, and Madame Planchette's, +_née_ Jones, finishing establishment in the Champs Elyseés received a +fresh pupil. Lucy's _minauderies_ could now only be practised on her +own sex. But even there the girl succeeded in setting the whole house by +the ears; and causing the sudden dismissal of the Italian professor, a +gifted Piedmontese, with a gigantic head of black curly hair and long +but dirty nails. At the end of a year she returned to her uncle's roof, +having achieved an intimate acquaintance with French _argot_; her +accent, however, was undeniable. Miss Warrender, too, now added to her +already dangerous fascinations the charms of a French manner and a +Parisian accent. But her persistent secret studies of the works of +Flaubert, Zola and Co. probably had not improved her mind. As soon as +Miss Hood left the room, Lucy seized the opportunity, on finding herself +thus practically alone with Lord Spunyarn, to give him a rather florid +rendering of "_C'est dans le nez que ça me chatouille_," in which she +out-heroded Herod, and was even more piquante and suggestive than Madame +Chaumont herself. However, it did Spunyarn at all events no harm, French +being a sealed book to him. The strains of the syren at last woke her +uncle, and brought back Miss Hood, who suggested that it was late. And +the party broke up at last at her instigation. + + + + + CHAPTER III. + + THE VILLAGE DORCAS. + + +The big room at King's Warren Parsonage was already fairly well filled. +Old Mrs. Wurzel and the buxom but not too well-favoured heiress of the +house of Grains were at the head of the table. Old Mrs. Wurzel was a +personage in her way; she it was who made the annual contract with the +local linen-draper; she it was who, as an adept learned in the art, +officiated at the awful ceremony of "cutting-out"; she it was who, with +infinite trouble, obtained for the school children those antiquated +straw bonnets of a forgotten type, which were the despair of the +juvenile village beauties. She herself had worn them in her youth, and +they were the proper bonnets for "growing girls." But, alas! Nemesis had +arrived; the head coverings worn in country places thirty years ago had +become once more the fashion, and the little maids from school had been +voted by Spunyarn "quite smart people." It was Mrs. Wurzel who with her +own fair but energetic hands had, with her famous cutting-out scissors, +shorn away the luxuriant but obnoxious fringe which Jemima Ann Blogg, +the poacher's daughter, had appeared in at the Confirmation. Jemima Ann +had violently resisted, but her struggles were in vain; in this case the +sheep had not been dumb when in the hands of the shearer: the daughter +of the village Radical had returned to her father's roof weeping, but +shorn. It is true that old Mrs. Wurzel had reluctantly paid to Blogg the +sum of five pounds, under the threat of a summons for assault, but the +honest fellow had honourably kept her secret as he had promised, and +Mrs. Wurzel's reputation, as the champion of virtue and respectability, +had in no way suffered, though she had paid her five pounds for it. + +The vicar's wife, whose principal characteristics were her interest in +missionary work and the saliency of her angles, was a mere priestess in +the little circle of which old Mrs. Wurzel was the permanent +archdruidess. Vicars' wives had come and gone, but all had submitted, +some after a brief struggle, to old Mrs. Wurzel's sway. But Mrs. +Dodd, the present vicar's wife, retained the precious prerogative of +choosing the book to be read at the monthly Dorcas. Mrs. Dodd's choice +was invariably the biography of some missionary; and she did her +best to carry out the idea that a Dorcas meeting should provide +self-mortification for the ladies present, in the shape of coarse work +for the fingers and repellent reading for the mind. + +The village Dorcas was that happy neutral ground where the various ranks +of society met on an equality. Here might be seen the three good-looking +and well-educated daughters of the local draper. Nice girls these, but +under the baleful shadow, the bitter blight of trade. For country +places are very conservative: the squire looks down on the yeoman, the +doctor and the lawyer, all three of whom consider themselves +considerably taller in social stature than the tenant farmer, who in his +turn will eat no bread and drink no water in the houses of those +Rechabites, the tradesmen. All these people, however, join in despising +the rich stockbroker who has recently purchased the pretentious place +which he calls "The Park;" the gates of which are almost celestial, +being of bright gilded iron work. The unfortunate inhabitant of "The +Park," notwithstanding his well-appointed barouche and his men in +livery, is but a pariah. For not a year ago, till the big corner +occurred in Mex. Rails in which he made his pile, little Sleek, of Sleek +and Dabbler, of Throgmorton Street, had "been to business" every +morning. Sleek now passes his time in good works, he takes a great +interest in local affairs, and, unless he flings the whole matter up in +a rage, he may yet become a justice of the peace. Sleek finds it far +harder work than fortune-making; but he pursues his Will-o'-the-Wisp +with untiring energy. So do we all. It is for this, that Sleek +contributes so liberally to the local charities. It is for this, that +the two Misses Sleek, clad in shining raiment of needlework, are seated +at the big table, pursuing the unromantic occupation of hemming +huckaback towels of a more than Spartan coarseness. But something has +been already gained by the monthly martyrdom; Mrs. Dodd and her +sister-in-law the ethereal Anastatia address them as "dear," and they +have a bowing acquaintance, which they energetically attempt to +increase, with, the Misses Warrender. + +Within this charmed circle the veterinary surgeon's womankind and the +grocer's daughters also dare to tread, but they are there merely on +sufferance. The line must be drawn somewhere, and the vicar's wife, as +did her predecessor, drew it at that man of blood, the harmless Kubble, +the local butcher. He and the rest of those shut out from Paradise +sought their enjoyment, and a perhaps more congenial society, at those +buttery banquets, the tea meetings of the local Little Bethel. Thus, as +in most country places, Dissent was at a premium among the humbler +classes, and possibly the continued assertion of their position by the +clergy of the State has had a good deal to do with the spread of Dissent +in other villages than King's Warren. + +There were at least a dozen ladies seated round the big table at the +Parsonage. Our friends Lucy and Georgina were among the number, their +simple muslins strikingly contrasting with the more elaborate garments +of the Misses Sleek. Anastatia Dodd fluttered (it is the only word) +round the workers, as they plied their busy needles; she "gave out" the +various garments, or portions thereof, of mysterious shape; and as she +did so whispered her little word of welcome, her little chirrup of +harmless gossip to each. Mrs. Dodd who sat at the bottom of the table as +vice-chairmaness, now opened a thick black book in which various markers +of coloured paper had been inserted. "I think we are all here," she +said, as she put on her spectacles in a determined manner, and ominously +cleared her throat. Nobody disputed this proposition; the hum of +conversation ceased. + +"I think we left off at the second appendix, which contained letters +from the wife of the lamented subject of the biography. I will now +continue. + + "'Quashi-Bungo, + "'July 21st, 18--. + + "'DEAREST MARY, + + "'I received your welcome letter and the boxes of stores. You + were quite right when you said that I seemed to be launching out + in the matter of outfit. But I suddenly find myself (under + Providence) a means of civilization to the poor benighted + natives. These unfortunate heathen, until our arrival, had no + sense of propriety. M'Bongo, the great chief of this + neighbourhood, paid a ceremonial visit to my husband. Of course + we understood that he would wear the court costume of the + Kukulokos. I seized the opportunity to watch what I supposed + would be a most interesting interview, from behind a curtain. Oh + Mary, what was my indignation when I saw the nasty savage enter + our dear little morning room! His great shock head of woolly + hair was dyed a bright yellow with quicklime, in his ears were a + pair of huge ear-rings of massive gold that made my mouth water. + (William told me afterwards that they were worth at least fifty + pounds). On his head was the second-hand hat of some _parvenu's_ + coachman, gold lace, cockade and all. Fancy my horror, dear + Mary, my terror, indignation and astonishment, when I perceived + that the rest of his costume merely consisted of a thick layer + of palm oil, with which the wretch had covered his disgusting + body. I saw no more; I need not say I fainted from the mingled + effects of terror, indignation, and astonishment. On coming to, + William told me that the courtiers, some twenty in number, wore + precisely the same costume, minus the hat and ear-rings. + + "'Such, dear Mary, was the degraded condition of M'Bongo and his + court on our arrival; but it has been my happy lot (under + Providence) to change all this, and my endeavours have not been + without even an earthly reward. Only think, Mary, M'Bongo's + ear-rings are now my own, my very own. They will reach you by + the hands of Mr. Mackenzie, a worldly-minded Scotch merchant, + but honest as to earthly things. On no account, dear Mary, in + disposing of these priceless treasures, have anything to do with + the jewellers, who I am told are extremely dishonest persons. + You had better try to sell them to the South Kensington Museum + as _curios_, or at some fashionable bazaar; or failing these, + to some wealthy but unworldly person, who takes an interest in + our working in Africa. Do not forget to mention that they are + _royal_ ear-rings.'" + +Here one of the Miss Sleeks coughed, but the broad grin on her face +subsided instantly under the severe look which Mrs. Dodd gave her over +her spectacles. After a short pause and a snort of indignation, the +vicar's wife continued: + + "'I have been the blessed instrument, dear Mary, of a great work + in this country. M'Bongo and his whole court are now clothed, I + am happy to say, at least to a certain extent. The greater + portion of the royal garments have been obtained from me; + unfortunately I have been compelled to take payment in cattle + and grain. You remember my scarlet rep underskirt, the one I + wore so much during our last winter in dear old England; with a + little alteration at the waist, to which I have added a green + velvet collar, and an additional placket hole (through which the + royal arms are thrust), and wearing my galoshes, M'Bongo + attended service here yesterday for the first time. Both garment + and galoshes were quite useless to me in this hot country. + William was unable to persuade him to remove the cockaded hat, + which he, in his benighted way, looks upon as a royal crown; but + as my husband's is the only other hat in the country, this does + not perhaps much matter. William has thus been happily able to + report to the society the approaching conversion of M'Bongo and + his imminent civilization. The poor king, however, complains + much of the heat, and I am sorry to say only wears these robes + on ceremonial occasions. Still it has been a great, great + comfort to us both. + + "'Yours lovingly, + + "'AMELIA REES.' + +"Many such interesting letters were received from our self-sacrificing +countrywoman up to the death of her husband and fellow-worker. The sad +end of the mission to King M'Bongo has been narrated in the body of this +work. But Mrs. Rees was loth to leave her sphere in Africa, and is now +happily married to Alonzo P. Jones, an energetic coloured Baptist +minister, of Cape Coast Castle." + +There was a universal sigh of relief. + +"I wonder whether she wears the ear-rings?" remarked the elder Miss +Sleek pertly. + +"Perhaps they were the attraction to Alonzo P. Jones," suggested her +sister, as she triumphantly folded and smoothed her second completed +towel. + +"It's always the way with them," sighed Miss Grains, who suffered from a +complication of romantic tendency and very tight stays. "It's the money +that attracts them, and possibly Mrs. Rees might have been Mrs. Rees to +the end of the chapter, if it hadn't been for the ear-rings and the sale +of her old clothes for countless flocks and herds." + +"Doubtless Miss Grains speaks from painful experience, my dears," +retorted Mrs. Dodd, with a severe look at her victim; "but you may be +quite certain that the acquisition of the ear-rings and the sale of the +clothes were but the blessed means to an end, a mere spoiling of the +Egyptians, that _the work_ might progress." + +"In fact, a robbing of Peter to pay Paul," suggested Lucy Warrender, but +without raising her eyes from her work. + +The needle of the archdruidress broke, as she shook her head viciously +at the scoffer. "Ah, my dear, you shouldn't laugh at sacred things," +said the elder lady. + +"But I don't look upon Mrs. Rees as a sacred thing," cried Lucy, not to +be intimidated. + +"A person no one would wish to know," chimed in Miss Sleek. + +"Ah, but think how she loved the blacks, and gave herself up to them," +cooed the vicaress, in a tone intended at the same time to convey +instruction and reproof. + +"Nasty thing," retorted Lucy, with biting sarcasm. "I suppose it was +because she loved the blacks and gave herself up to them, that she +married the energetic negro ranter with the dreadful name." + +This proved too much for Mrs. Dodd. "I am surprised and ashamed, Lucy +Warrender, at your attempt to depreciate the noble self-immolation of +dear Mrs. Jones. Of course it is a great privilege to be married to a +clergyman, a very precious privilege, but when he is a negro and a +Baptist--hum--I suppose I must say clergyman, then a woman's life must +be indeed a martyrdom." + +"I suppose he beats her?" asked one of the draper's daughters of the +experienced Mrs. Wurzel. + +"I sincerely trust he does," broke in the irreverent Lucy. + +Just at this moment the door was hurriedly opened, and the Reverend John +Dodd entered the room. He was a stout man, his principal characteristics +being an intense pleasure in ladies' society, and an obliviousness of +the fact that he was no longer the pale slim young curate of earlier +days. A life of almost absolute inactivity, which was forced upon him by +his wife's jealousy of the rest of the sex, had rendered the muscular +young Dodd of Oriel a perfect Daniel Lambert. Little irreverent boys +from the village corners were in the habit of shouting "Jumbo" at the +poor vicar. He was accustomed to pursue them, but in vain; a stern chase +is proverbially a long chase, and poor Mr. Dodd's futile efforts to +capture his persecutors had become a bye-word. But the Reverend John +Dodd's weak point, the red rag to the bull, the bee in his bonnet, was +his devotion to the fair sex. Handsome Jack Dodd, as he had been once +called, in his undergraduate and curate days, had been accustomed to +find his attentions very highly appreciated. The habit grew on him, +love-sick maidens sighed, and love-sick maidens wept, but all in vain. +Handsome Jack Dodd, a very clerical butterfly, flitted from flower to +flower. His admiration was freely, openly, ardently expressed for every +variety of female beauty. Was Jack Dodd a flirt? Not a bit of it; he was +merely a fancier, just as there are pigeon fanciers and poultry +fanciers; so Handsome Jack Dodd was a fancier, an admirer, a worshipper +of the entire female sex: that is to say, the select specimens of it. +What he could have seen in Canon Drivel's daughter who can say? though, +when he married Cecilia Drivel, she was a well-known light of London. +She it was who, in the severity of her classic and rather imperial +beauty, had posed to Mahlstick, R.A., for his well-known picture of +Judith with the head of Holofernes. Alas! for poor Jack Dodd, he had +assisted at the numerous sittings. He it was who had had the honour of +sitting (that is to say lying prone on a bedstead of the period) for the +headless trunk of Holofernes. To lie prone on a bedstead of any period, +and have nothing to do for two mortal hours but gaze on the classic +proportions of any lady--for Mahlstick was a strict disciplinarian and +discouraged conversation--is enough to seal the fate of any man, even if +he were of a less inflammable type than Handsome Jack. Miss Drivel was +her father's only daughter, and ambitious; but four seasons, during +which she was much admired, but never once received a serious offer, had +warned the waning beauty not to neglect her opportunities. Miss Drivel +was a lady of no imagination and strong will; the interest of her +father, a notorious pluralist, was very great: Cecilia Drivel was +determined to marry Dodd. She did so, and her victim became her obedient +slave, and was duly inducted to the fat living of King's Warren. In all +things Jack Dodd, as the weaker vessel, yielded to his wife. He had but +one drawback in her eyes, he retained his passion, his innocent passion, +for the fair sex. At the shrine of beauty he remained a constant and +ecstatic worshipper. This was Mrs. Dodd's cross, and she had to bear it. +An idle life at King's Warren Parsonage, and frequent dinner parties, +for the Reverend John Dodd was a popular man, had caused Handsome Jack +to expand into a very Falstaff. Alas, anxiety had had precisely the +reverse effect upon the vicar's wife. The once statuesque "Judith" had +disappeared, and Mrs. Dodd's characteristics were now high principle and +bone. + +"Busy as usual, my dear," said the vicar to his wife, as he proceeded +to welcome each member of the female bevy in turn, devoting perhaps a +little more time than was necessary to handsome Miss Warrender and her +cousin. + +Mrs. Dodd closed the thick black book with a slap. "I suppose work is +over now for the day; you really should not intrude on our Dorcas, +John," she said in a severe tone. + +"My dear, it is my duty to encourage my parishioners in good works, nay, +it is my pleasure," replied the parson. + +"No one doubts it, Mr. Dodd," said the vicaress in an icy manner. + +But Mrs. Dodd was evidently in a minority. The ladies crowded round +their popular vicar. It is easy to spoil a man, and the Reverend John +Dodd had been much spoilt by his parishioners, and seemed to like the +process. + +And now a whispered conference took place between the Misses Sleek. +With smiles and conscious blushes, the elder sister addressed the +vicar. "Oh, dear Mr. Dodd, we do so want you to do us a favour," she +faltered. + +"Granted, my dear young lady, granted before it is asked." + +Mrs. Dodd vainly sought to fix her husband with a freezing look, and +gazed appealingly at old Mrs. Wurzel, but that experienced matron had +been present at many similar scenes, and was rather amused than +otherwise, to watch the discomfiture of the vicar's imperious wife. Mrs. +Wurzel's eagle eye detected the little parcel which the younger Miss +Sleek hesitatingly attempted to hold towards the vicar. "It is our own +work, dear Mr. Dodd," she said, "and we hope, we do hope, we do _so_ +hope that you will accept them." + +"And wear them too," chimed in her sister. + +In an elaborate box, from which Miss Sleek rapidly tore the paper in +which it was wrapped, and hurriedly opened, lay a dozen bands of the +latest ecclesiastical fashion. + +"Oh ladies, dear ladies, so you equip your faithful knight for the fray; +accept my grateful thanks, my very grateful thanks," sighed the vicar. + +"So pleased you like them, dear Mr. Dodd," chorused the stockbroker's +daughters. + +The triumphs of decorative millinery were passed from hand to hand. + +"They never made these," muttered old Mrs. Wurzel to herself, as she +critically held one up to the light. "The minxes," she inwardly added. +Mrs. Wurzel was quite right; they had been supplied, regardless of cost, +from Messrs. Rochet and Stole's well-known establishment. + +"Ah," purred Lucy Warrender, "the ladies used to arm their knights with +their own fair hands in the days of chivalry." + +The parson laughed. "And have the days of chivalry departed, ladies?" +he said, protruding his head, much as the unconscious aldermanic turtle +is said to protrude his, when awaiting the fatal stroke. + +Conny Sleek, the younger and bolder of the two, looked at her sister; +the elder girl nodded maliciously. + +Conny stepped smilingly forward, and proceeded to affix the band around +the vicar's massive throat. + +Fat Jack Dodd was in his glory; "Jumbo" was in the seventh heaven of +bliss. A smile of beatitude spread over his enormous countenance during +the process. But it suddenly disappeared, as a sharp slam of the door +announced the sudden departure of his indignant wife, the outraged +Cecilia. Will it ever dawn on Mrs. Dodd's mind, that parsons, even +married parsons, are but men? + + + + + CHAPTER IV. + + WALLS END CASTLE. + + +Walls End Castle was the seat of John, Earl of Pit Town. It had come +into the family through the marriage of a former earl with the heiress +of the great Chudleigh family. It was one of England's show places. The +great park which surrounded it was one of the most celebrated in all +England, celebrated alike for its size and its beauty. The entry to the +park was never denied to artists; and they, their easels, and their +umbrellas, might be seen at the various well-known "bits" all through +the summer and autumn. The boys of the Elizabethan Grammar School had +also the privilege of roaming in the park; and time had been when the +people of the neighbouring town and the public generally were admitted; +but excursionists had arrived in crowds, they had destroyed the poetry +of the place with pieces of greasy newspaper, broken bottles, ham bones, +and the remains of their Homeric banquets. They had shouted and whistled +in the great picture galleries, they had written their names upon the +window panes, they had committed all the innumerable offences that such +people do commit; but the final straw which determined the present earl +to exclude them, was their having played at the game of +Kiss-in-the-ring, one Whit-Monday, directly under the windows of the +noble owner. After that memorable day, Lord Pit Town kept his castle and +his park to himself. + +His lordship during the earlier part of his reign never came near Walls +End Castle. The widowed earl travelled continuously in Southern Europe. +He travelled, and he collected pictures, statuary, gems, plate, +china--nothing came amiss to him. But John, Earl of Pit Town, was wise +in his generation; he remembered that "if you sup with the devil, it is +best to use a long spoon." He never purchased without an expert's aid; +consequently the immense collection he had gradually accumulated was +free from rubbish. Nothing doubtful or "reputed" ever arrived in the +huge packing-cases consigned to Walls End Castle. For years his lordship +was seldom seen in London, the great house in Grosvenor Square was never +opened. When Lord Pit Town was in England, he stayed at Long's Hotel. +Friends he had none; his doctor and his courier were the people who saw +most of him. But as years rolled on his lordship grew tired of travel, +his well-known figure, in the short blue cloak and velvet collar, was +seen no more in the great picture galleries of Europe. Lord Pit Town now +commenced the work of his life, the building of the new galleries at +Walls End Castle. Winter and summer the little old man, for he was over +sixty now, might be seen in the blue cloak, inspecting the growth of the +vast galleries with a critical eye. Emilius Wolff, his German architect, +was his constant companion. The great Mr. Buskin paid him a yearly +visit; on these occasions Dr. Wolff (for Wolff was a doctor of +philosophy) joined his lordship and the great art-critic at dinner. At +length the great Pit Town collection was housed as it deserved to be. +Its principal feature was the picture gallery. This was a vast building +of classical design, resembling a Grecian temple. Dr. Wolff was a +Berliner, and the tradition of Berlin is that a picture gallery should +resemble a Greek temple. The vast galleries were probably among the best +in Europe. They were lighted and heated to perfection. But the great +galleries had one peculiarity; at irregular intervals along the wall +were blank spaces of varying size; in the centre of each space was a +label in his lordship's own writing: on these labels were inscribed the +names of various great painters. It was now the only business of the +Earl of Pit Town to gradually fill these spaces, each with a +representative masterpiece of the artist indicated. Possibly John, Earl +of Pit Town, notwithstanding his boundless wealth, could hardly hope to +complete such a work in his own lifetime. The great Mr. Abrahams had an +unlimited commission to secure at any price, a long list of great works. +There was but one condition attached, any purchase must be above +suspicion. But even the great Mr. Abrahams, on one notable occasion at +least, had been deceived. A new acquisition, purchased from the +collection of a wealthy amateur in the Rue Drouot, had arrived at Walls +End Castle. A furious controversy concerning this picture had arisen +among art critics. Herr Vandenbossche had defended the authenticity of +the work, but old Mr. Creeps had demolished him in an exhaustive article +in the _Friday Review_. Old Mr. Creeps was considerably astonished at +receiving an almost affectionate letter from Lord Pit Town. His lordship +thanked him for the article, and requested what he termed "the exceeding +great pleasure of receiving you here;" the letter was dated from Walls +End Castle. Old Mr. Creeps accepted the invitation for a couple of days. +On his arrival at the local railway station he was met by his lordship +in person. Lord Pit Town, one of the proudest and most exclusive of men, +treated old Mr. Creeps with marked deference. At dinner, at which John +Buskin and Dr. Wolff were present, conversation ran purely upon art +matters. Old Mr. Creeps, the critic, had never enjoyed himself so much; +the sitting was prolonged till the small hours. Next day, at noon, the +council of four sat in solemn conclave upon Lord Pit Town's latest +purchase. Old Mr. Creeps triumphantly proved his case. Lord Pit Town +looked at Mr. Buskin. Mr. Buskin nodded. "Well, Wolff?" remarked his +lordship. + +"It is onhappy, most onhappy," replied the doctor of philosophy, "but I +fear it is drue, too drue." + +"What will your lordship do with it?" said old Mr. Creeps. + +"You shall see," replied that eminent collector with a smile, as he +advanced to the easel on which the doubtful picture stood. His lordship +opened his penknife, carefully and quietly he cut the canvas out of the +frame, he folded it in half; again he cut it, as though he were cutting +up a sheet of brown paper; he repeated the process several times, then, +handing the pieces to the German, he merely remarked, "Oblige me by +burning these, Wolff." + +"They shall make a vamous blaze," said the philosopher, as he left the +room to carry out the sentence. + +"Would that all collectors could afford to do the same, Lord Pit Town," +remarked John Buskin with a sigh. + +"Your lordship has done a noble act," cheerfully cried old Mr. Creeps, +as he rubbed his hands. "Of course you will trounce Abrahams. When the +artistic world hears of this morning's work, Lord Pit Town, it will know +what it owes to England's most distinguished amateur." + +"No, no, Mr. Creeps. I must ask you to keep this business a secret; no +cheap popularity for me," replied the old lord. + +"Cheap!" echoed the critic, as he raised his eyes to the skylight. "Good +heavens! he calls it cheap," whispered the old man to John Buskin. + +"His lordship is right," was the oracle's oracular reply. + +Men said that Lord Pit Town was eccentric. Gossips said that he was mad. +Perhaps after all he was only honest according to his lights. Next day +the handsome frame, carefully packed, was returned to Mr. Abrahams; it +was duly deducted from his account. But he got his cheque for the price +of the picture, and his very liberal commission. + +In vain did the artists who frequented Walls End Park attempt to stalk +the old nobleman in his lonely walks. They never succeeded in selling +him a picture from the easel. "Capital, capital," his lordship would +remark with great alacrity, when there was no other way of escape. The +eldest Miss Solomonson, the most talented member of that clever Hebrew +family--she is great at animals--tried to shoot the wary old lord with +her well-known picture of "The Timid Fawn," but she ignominiously +failed. + +"The old wretch called me 'my dear,' and said he liked my sky, when I +hadn't even indicated the sky," she indignantly remarked to her amused +father. + +Miss Solomonson's masses of jetty hair, and the fire from the glances of +her oriental eyes, were said to have melted the stony hearts even of +dealers who were her co-religionists. But with all her advantages Miss +Solomonson failed with the old lord, and she abuses him to this day. She +had her revenge, however, for in her well-known Academy picture of the +following year, "Balaam and his Ass," the angel was represented by a +glorified portrait of Miss Solomonson herself, who glared down in an +indignant manner upon the terrified and kneeling Balaam. Old Mr. Creeps +and the other art-critics chuckled as they recognized the angelic +portrait; but they chuckled still more, when they saw that the terrified +Balaam was but an ill-natured caricature of John, Earl of Pit Town. + +"I'd have done him as the ass, you know, only he was too ugly. I hope +he'll like the figures better than the sky this time," snorted the +indignant Hebrew maiden. + +The curse of the Earl of Pit Town's life was the so-called gallery of +old masters in Walls End Castle. He couldn't sell them; he couldn't burn +them; he was even compelled to insure them, to his intense disgust. For +when a former lord had inherited Walls End Castle from the Chudleighs, +old masters had been the fashion; and the purchaser, delighted with his +toy, had made the pictures heirlooms. But the present lord had shut up +what to him was a mere chamber of horrors. He and Dr. Wolff had actually +composed a catalogue _raisonné_ of the entire collection, in which the +fictitious nature of the claims to respect of each monstrous daub was +triumphantly demonstrated. The sprawling Rubenses were shown to be but +inferior copies, the Paul Veronese was proved a transparent sham, while +the great Vandyck, representing the Martyr-King seated on a gigantic +grey horse, was demonstrated to be but a wretched replica of a miserable +original. There they hung, the old Pit Town heirlooms, grimy with dirt; +for as the old lord used to say, "To have cleaned them would have been +only to make their natural hideousness still more apparent." Each +picture bore a label, giving a true description of the once-honoured +gem. Alas! these veracious tablets cruelly contrasted with the +flourishes of the old housekeeper's descriptions. + +Two only of his heirlooms had stood the crucial inspections of Lord Pit +Town and his experts. These were the great Raphael, and the celebrated +portrait of Barbara Chudleigh, the well-known beauty of Charles the +Second's time, by Sir Peter Lely. Wicked Bab Chudleigh, as a wood nymph, +simpered upon the walls of the new gallery in which the Chudleigh +Raphael occupied the post of honour. + +We have seen what manner of man John, Earl of Pit Town, was. We have +seen how his heirlooms troubled him not a little. We have seen how he +passed his life with the faithful Wolff at Walls End Castle, patiently +waiting to fill the numerous blanks on the walls of the new galleries, +in fact to accomplish his destiny. For if ever there was a born +collector, a real collector, to whom the actual intrinsic value of a +painting was absolutely of no importance, it was John, Earl of Pit Town. +And this indifference to the value at the hammer of their acquisitions, +marks the distinction between the genuine collector or connoisseur and +the ruck of the people who buy pictures; the bulk of whom are after all +but amateur dealers. When the successful stock-jobber leaves off dealing +in shares and takes to art, he merely deals in another more or less +intangible security of very fluctuating value. With childlike confidence +he follows the advice of some more or less honest dealer. He buys from +the easel with a hope of a "rapid rise." Works are knocked down to him +at Christie's simply because they are apparently cheap, and he is +carrying out the old axiom of his trade, "always buy rubbish." In the +same way he is perpetually buying and selling pictures upon the time +honoured maxim of Capel Court, "nail your profit, and cut your loss." He +will even go so far as to develop a taste for a particular master in +the hope that he may succeed ultimately in making a "corner" in that +special security. And the sole dream of such a man is the result in +pounds, shillings and pence of the auction that will inevitably take +place at his death. The possession of a certain number of valuable works +of art confers an amount of distinction upon their proprietor, and +Brown, who as Brown is a nobody, becomes a somebody as the owner of the +Brown collection. Of this fact Manchester "men" and Liverpool +"gentlemen" are well aware. But, as has been seen, a deep gulf divided +these amateur dealers from John, Earl of Pit Town. + +The old earl's property, the source of his wealth, as from his title the +reader will have shrewdly guessed, was in collieries. With the +management of these, however, the Earl of Pit Town did not trouble +himself. His various agents paid yearly increasing sums into that +aristocratic bank in the Strand, which never allows interest on +deposits, which never advises any investment except Consols, and whose +clerks from time immemorial have worn white chokers. + +For many years it had been the old lord's habit to entertain those +members of his family, never exceeding four in number, who were nearest +to the title. Twice a year the formal invitation was sent out by the old +nobleman to his only son, and to his two nephews. Once in the height of +the summer and once at Christmas these invitations were issued. They +were never refused, for their recipients looked upon them much in the +light of a royal command. + +Lord Hetton, the earl's only son, and his heir, was always one of the +guests on these occasions; to him it was an exceedingly unpleasant time; +for father and son had quarrelled years ago, the old lord having sternly +declined to increase his son's very liberal allowance of five thousand a +year. A man can do a great deal on five thousand a year, but not much +is left for the annuitant when he is possessed by the idea that, some +day or other, it will be his good fortune to win the Derby. In all other +things but race-horses, Hetton was a man of frugal mind. For the sake of +his stud he had remained a bachelor; for he felt that were he to marry, +yet another obstacle would be raised to the attainment of his ambition. +Ever since his majority Lord Hetton had annually entered a colt in the +great race. His nominations had on two occasions even run into places. +Four years ago Hetton's horse had been first favourite, but it was +ignominiously beaten. This very year, that rank outsider, Dark Despair, +who, starting at sixty to one, had just been beaten on the post, was the +property of his persevering, but unlucky, lordship. Twice a year did +Lord Hetton present himself at Walls End Castle. He used to walk through +the park, and note with pleasure the care that his father bestowed on +the gigantic property. It pleased him to see how well kept was +everything about the place. It gratified him to find his opinions +deferentially listened to by the steward, and to perceive that year by +year the family solicitors treated him with a still greater +obsequiousness. But in his heart, he cursed what he called his father's +folly, as he looked at the new galleries; and he would have liked to +stamp and swear, as at every visit he dutifully admired each new and +costly acquisition of the old earl's. He would walk discontentedly up +and down the old picture gallery where hung the worthless heirlooms +that, in the ordinary course of nature, must one day be his own: and he +wondered whether he should ever possess the Golconda contained in the +new galleries. Perhaps it was only human nature that caused him to +watch, and watch in vain, for any apparent sign of increasing infirmity +in the old earl. But he never quarrelled with his father, for on the +morning of his departure from the paternal roof, he was accustomed to +receive a very considerable _solatium_ to his wounded feelings, in the +shape of a heavy cheque on the bank in the Strand. The amount of this +cheque was invariable; it kept Hetton on his good behaviour, and he had +learned to look upon it as part of his allowance. On one memorable +occasion he had presumed to remonstrate with his father on the enormous +cost of his last artistic acquisitions; the earl had merely shrugged his +shoulders. That visit had been indignantly remembered by Lord Hetton, +for when the venerable connoisseur bade his lordship good-bye, there had +been no cheque, though there was no change in his lordship's manner +towards his son. + +Mr. Haggard, of the Home Office, a faultlessly-dressed gentleman, whose +principal characteristic was his brilliant whist, which it was said +brought him in a certain but variable income, was the next heir in +direct succession; he was the nephew of his lordship, and a childless +bachelor. His presence, also, always graced Walls End Castle at the +regulation periods. + +Mr. John Haggard, of Ash Priory, the father of big Reginald, was always +the third guest. John Haggard, the second nephew of Lord Pit Town, was a +J.P. for his county, of the Shakespearian type. He was fond of good +living, his eye was severe, and his beard of sober cut. He embodied the +law, in his own immediate neighbourhood, to the intense terror of local +delinquents. He had meted out stern justice to his own son, when he had +banished big Reginald to South America; but he had his virtues. He lived +within his means, he entertained his neighbours at rather heavy dinners, +he gave his wife and daughters a fortnight in town during the season, +and he habitually took the first prize at the county show for black +pigs. He never forgot that he was third in succession to the title. He +never doubted his capacity, should he ever be called to occupy the +position of a hereditary legislator; and now that his son had returned a +considerably wealthier man than he himself was, he chuckled, when in his +mind's eye he thought of him as some day bearing the courtesy title of +Lord Hetton. + +The earl and the doctor of philosophy sat at breakfast in a little oak +wainscoted room whose windows commanded a full view of the new +galleries. In this little room the galleries had been designed; the +windows had looked upon the commencement of the great work. An army of +navvies had dug out the earth for the gigantic foundations. Then arose a +very forest of scaffold-poles. Two huge steam engines had snorted and +puffed for three whole years. A colossal steam "traveller" had +ceaselessly carried great blocks of stone and long steel girders from +point to point. The clink of the stone-masons' chisels had resounded +year after year from morning till night. Then came the carpenters, and +the noise of their busy hammers had been deafening. When not actually +on the works, Lord Pit Town had viewed them from the window of his +favourite room. But scaffold poles, steam engines and labourers had +disappeared; the rubbish had been cleared away, and the huge white block +stood out in the clear air; dominating the grey weather-stained gables +of Walls End Castle much as Aladdin's palace is said to have dominated +the more ancient but less magnificent residence of his father-in-law the +Emperor of China. There was an air of spick-and-spanness about the whole +thing that annoyed the earl. The new galleries had been finished four +whole years, but they still looked painfully fresh. + +"I hear that I am to have the pleasure of welcoming another of your +lordship's relatives this year," said the doctor of philosophy to the +earl. + +"Yes; Wolff 'where the carcase is there shall the eagles be gathered +together.' I have kept them waiting for some years, and I don't feel a +bit like dying, Wolff. Though I confess I dread Hetton's critical +examination. He always looks me over in his stud-groom sort of way. But +I suppose, as he is my nearest relative, it is but natural he should be +anxious about my health. As for the young fellow, I have never even seen +him. My nephew wished to bring him, and he is about to marry. In fact he +and his father will be the only married men among my direct heirs." + +"And does the young man love art?" + +"No. I think his talents are confined to spending money and getting into +trouble. But my nephew tells me that he is now going to forswear sack +and live cleanly." + +"That is what I cannot understand, my lord. I had a cold the other day, +a most severe cold. I tell the young man to bring me a cup of sack; he +sends to me the butler. I say to him, 'Give me the sack.' He replied to +me, 'I cannot do that, sir, it's only his lordship can do that.' What +is, then, this precious drink I read of in my Shakespeare--so precious, +that your lordship will not trust him to his butler? And now you tell me +that your nephew will drink him no more. I never see your lordship drink +him. Has, then, your lordship forsworn him too?" + +His lordship laughed as he finished his coffee. "No one drinks sack +now-a-days, Wolff, and the quotation was merely figurative; while the +other sack the butler talked about was but a vulgarism used by his +class. You will never get that either, in my lifetime at least." + +"I understand it not. But your grand-nephew, the young man, it pleases +you that he shall marry?" + +"It is indifferent to me, Wolff; if I can only live to fill the vacant +wall spaces in the new galleries, I can seriously say, _après moi le +déluge_. But here comes the first arrival." + +One of his lordship's close carriages was coming up the great chestnut +avenue; Lord Hetton was its sole occupant. As the old butler received +him in the hall, with the deference due to his master's son, the +sporting nobleman laughingly commiserated him. + +"We have neither of us any luck, Russell, as usual," he said. "I thought +I had a real good thing this time. As usual, I put you on for a fiver, +Russell; as usual, it didn't come off." Lord Hetton was of a frugal +mind. He was continually presenting innumerable imaginary fivers to +little people. He was always putting them on for them at tremendous +odds, but the good things never came off, and the recipients of his +favours were never informed of his munificence _till after the event_. + +"I most humbly thank your lordship," replied the butler with an air of +profound gratitude, as he chuckled in his sleeve. For the old man too +was of a sporting turn. He knew all about Dark Despair, and annually he +had carefully laid the odds against Lord Hetton's nomination for the +great race. + +"The same rooms, I suppose, Russell?" + +"Always the same rooms, your lordship." + +Lord Hetton mechanically proceeded to his quarters. + +On joining the earl, father and son met as if they had parted only the +previous day. The pursuits of neither interested the other. Art and +horse-flesh were subjects tabooed by mutual consent. A desultory +conversation on politics, in which neither took the slightest interest, +was a safe neutral ground. It was with a feeling of relief on both sides +that the arrival of Mr. Haggard, of the Home Office, was announced. His +lordship retired shortly to his study, Hetton and Mr. Haggard betook +themselves to the billiard-room. + +At dinner the family party was increased by the presence of John Haggard +and his son, both of whom were well received by the earl, who now saw +his grand-nephew for the first time. Big Reginald's magnificent +physique made its due impression; his father was evidently proud of him, +and the old lord congratulated the young man on his approaching +marriage. + +Reginald Haggard was not diffident, he truckled to no one. He frankly +avowed to his grand uncle that he knew nothing of art. When his lordship +retired early, as was his custom, the other men adjourned once more to +the billiard-room. Big Reginald took their lives at pool, and pocketed +their half-crowns in an easy genial way, which almost made losing a +pleasure. + +During the fortnight in which Lord Pit Town entertained his relatives, +nothing occurred to mar the harmony of the meeting. During that +fortnight Big Reginald got on friendly terms with everybody. + +Nothing seemed to overawe or intimidate the ingenuous youth. He saw with +evident pleasure the outward and visible signs of the old earl's immense +wealth. As he looked round upon the priceless collection in the new +galleries, as he thought of the old nobleman's huge estates, he +remembered that the investment that Mr. Hyam Hyams had made in his own +contingent post obits was probably a good one; he prudently determined +to pay off the Jew as soon as he should realize his American properties. +In his own mind he determined already that, should he ever be his +great-uncle's successor, he would distribute the great Pit Town +collection to the four winds of heaven. But he made one mental +reservation, as he stood before Sir Peter Lely's masterpiece, and gazed +on the lovely features and roving eye of "Wicked Bab Chudleigh:" "A +monstrous fine girl. Yes, I should stick to her." If Reginald Haggard +did come into the estates after all, and did "stick to her," she would +be the first one of her sex he had ever stuck to. + +Walls End Castle, when the party broke up, returned to its normal state. +The earl and the philosopher continued the even tenour of their ways. +Lord Hetton took away his big cheque, which was duly honoured at the +old-fashioned bank in the Strand. A cheque for a like amount had been +given to Reginald Haggard by the earl. "Buy something for your wife +that-is-to-be," he said to his grand-nephew, as he handed him the folded +paper. "Warrender was one of my friends years ago, when I had friends," +said the old nobleman with a sigh "They are good old-fashioned people +the Warrenders, and honest. Don't thank me," he said, as he shook hands +with the young fellow. "Of course you will come here with your father in +the winter. I shall hope to see the new Mrs. Haggard too," he added. +"Good-bye. I shall send you a formal invitation." + +When big Reginald told his father of this interview, as they were +driving to the station, Justice Haggard did not conceal his +satisfaction. "He will outlive all of _us_, my boy, Hetton into the +bargain. Who knows but _you_ may be one day Earl of Pit Town? Keep in +with the old man if you can. His place, as you have seen, is perfect, +all but the piggeries. He doesn't go in for pigs though, he goes in for +pictures--every man to his taste. I prefer pigs." + + + + + CHAPTER V. + + AT THE PANDEMONIUM CLUB. + + +It was Wednesday night; over forty men sat down to the house-dinner at +the Pandemonium Club. As usual the dinner was _recherché_, for the +Pandemonium _chef_ enjoyed a world-wide reputation. It is to be feared +that the attractions of the house-dinner were not the sole inducement to +many of those sitting there. A house-dinner always secured a large party +in the card-room afterwards, and though the Pandemonium was a celebrated +dining club, it was notoriously also a gambling one. Though the +Pandemonium was a gambler's paradise, and many scandals had occurred +there, yet the dirty linen had been always washed at home, and the exact +details of these affairs had never leaked out. Young Spooner, of the +Foreign Office, Sir John Spooner's, the Warwickshire baronet, eldest +son, had certainly left London as fourth secretary to the Teheran +Embassy, where he still remained; while Rolls, a briefless barrister, +who was fond of backing himself at the whist table, had taken his name +off the books, though he had honourably paid his losses, and suddenly +accepted the not over-brilliant position of an Assistant-Judgeship on +the Gold Coast: pay there was high and promotion rapid, but no one had +ever been known to live long enough to take a pension. + +Magnums of the driest and most expensive champagne seemed to be the +favourite beverage. But the whisters as a rule drank claret, in +anticipation of the more serious _business_ that was sure to follow the +weekly house-dinner. Captains Spotstroke and Pool were equally careful; +the rest of those present drank freely. The elaborate dessert was +followed by a general move. Old Sir Peter Growler and Canon Drivel, +D.D., retired to the smoke-room, where they retailed their old, but +exceedingly improper anecdotes, to a select circle of the very youngest +men. In the billiard-room, pool at half sovereign lives, was commenced, +and promised to run into the small hours--a sure harvest for Captains +Spotstroke and Pool. In confidence it may be said that Spotstroke's +little place in the south of Ireland only existed in his own +imagination, his rents being entirely derived from his skill with his +cue, and the certain income that he extracted from the very safe little +book that he made on most of the great events of the year. A small +contingent of the members hurried off to applaud the successful comic +opera of the hour. + +The card-room attracted its usual _habitués_, these sat down to whist; +and if an unskilled unfortunate joined the fatal tables, he soon had +reason to regret his temerity. Pound points were habitually played at +the Pandemonium, and as the evening went on, though the points never +varied, betting among the players and the "gallery" usually became +extremely heavy. Discussions never arose at the whist tables of this +rather fast club, for the players had Cavendish and Pole at their +fingers' ends. General Pepper, C.B., had raised his eyes in unfeigned +astonishment and horror, when an old Worcestershire baronet, his +partner, once made a reference to Hoyle, and professed himself +unacquainted with "the Peter." Needless to say, the Worcestershire +baronet had returned to his ancestral acres a sadder but a wiser man. He +showed his wisdom in giving the Pandemonium card-room a very wide berth +for the rest of his days. He subsequently had the good sense to join the +comic opera division, and to finish his evenings with the undeniable +oysters, for which the Pandemonium is so celebrated. No one was ever +seen at this well-known club after lunch time or before dinner, save a +few miserable veterans, to whom perpetual whist was a necessity. The +bulk of the servants even, only commenced their daily duties at dusk, +while the steward never appeared till the dinner hour; but then he, poor +man, had to be to the fore all night, for it was a stern rule in the +card-room that I O U's were never seen, the play being always for ready +money, in notes and gold. Mr. Levison, the amiable steward (originally +from Hamburg), had a very Pactolus ready for the accommodation, for a +consideration, of his numerous masters, in his iron safe. Levison's +relations think he will cut up well at his death; Levison's relations +are right. + +It is one in the morning. Though it is in the height of summer the +Pandemonium card-room is cool; they burn wax candles here, and gas is +absolutely banished from this particular chamber of the club, where +fortunes are sometimes lost and won. In most club card-rooms smoking is +not permitted, but at the Pandemonium it is the fashion to smoke +everywhere. One whist table only is at work; General Pepper and three +old hands of the same kidney are hard at it. The four old men rub their +blear old eyes at the conclusion of each deal, and then pull down their +faultless cuffs over their eager and bony old hands. The card table +profitably occupies some six to eight hours daily of these old fellows' +attention. There is not much harm in it after all. Probably none of them +are very much the better or very much the worse at the end of the year; +their sole ambition is the saving of a game, particularly when there is +a good "gallery" to admire their efforts. One dreaded Nemesis awaits +these men--the inevitable day when memory will begin to fail, and they +shall trump their partner's best card. Or the still more horrible +apprehension of dimness of sight; for a pair of wicked old eyes will not +last for ever; then the unhappy old player will begin to revoke, and +find himself perforce relegated to "bumble-puppy," or to +whiskey-and-water and solemn slumbers in the smoke-room, or, more +horrible still, the prolonged society of Sir Peter Growler and Canon +Drivel, D.D. + +Rule XXXV. of the club states that "Cards, chess and billiards may be +played. The sum played for shall not exceed one pound points; no play is +permitted after two a.m." Rule XXXVI. says, "No game of hazard shall on +any account be played in the club-house." Rule XXXVII. sternly goes on +to assert that "any deviation from the last two rules shall be attended +with expulsion." Truly good and moral regulations. But these Draconic +laws are, unfortunately, a dead letter. Nothing is said in them about +bets. As in all clubs, only members enter the card-room; and most of the +members come to "flutter," as they term it, and to "flutter" heavily. + +In the centre of the room is an oval table; some dozen men are sitting +at it; as many more stand behind their chairs. Two many-branched +candelabra, holding wax lights, brilliantly illuminate the game. Young +Lamb, who six months ago ran a "tick" for "tuck" at Eton, and trembled +_coram pædagogo_, sits, his eyes bloodshot, as, with nails driven into +his palms, he watches, in an anguish of excitement, the movements of the +dealer. Young Lamb's big cigar has been out long ago; but he pulls hard +at it, wholly unaware of the fact. It is easy enough to distinguish, +among those who smoke at least, the more innocent from the habitual +gamblers; the cigars of these latter, even at the most exciting crises, +are steadily smoked at a uniform rate, while the new hand is continually +taking a light, as often blowing sudden vast clouds, or his cigar all +unknown to him goes out, as has been described. Your young player, too, +sits with his feet tucked tightly under his chair; he never moves them, +and consequently suffers much from that hitherto undescribed +disease--that awful pain across the knees, which, for want of a better +name, may be called "gamblers' rheumatism." Are you quite sure you have +never suffered from this rather common disorder, gentle reader, at +least, if you be of the male sex? Perhaps you may remember having +occasionally walked home through the rain, utterly cleared out, without +even the needful silver for a cab, with a dry throat, and finding out +for the first time what "gamblers' rheumatism" really means. If so, it +is to be hoped that, wise man as you are, the first attack of this +disorder was also your last. But at the Pandemonium matters never went +to the extremity of a member suffering the degradation of having to walk +home in the rain. Was not kind Mr. Levison ever to the fore, with his +neat little _rouleaux_ of sovereigns, and his fat pocket-book full of +new and crisp bank-notes? Levison, as he sat at the little table in the +corner, on which were writing materials and many packs of new cards, +never refused a loan in so many words. "I wouldn't go on if I were you, +sir; the luck's dead against you to-night; I wouldn't go on, indeed I +wouldn't." This was his invariable formula. It meant that the astute +Hebrew declined to do business on any terms. No one ever argued with +Levison; all understood that this particular phrase was final. The +unhappy applicant was naturally obliged to temporarily retire from the +game, at all events for that night. No man would have been idiot enough +to have asked a loan from a fellow player; that would have been quite +contrary to the unwritten code of ethics of the Pandemonium Club: +fathers have flinty hearts, but no fathers are so proverbially +flinty-hearted as the fathers of the card-room. + +Among the players were the usual club _habitués_. They are much the same +everywhere, the only difference being their clothes. The _viveurs_ at +the Pandemonium, in their faultless evening dress; the _gommeux_ at +Monte Carlo, in their tall collars and their shiny boots; the +Bohemians, in their tobacco-scented and eccentric garments; or the +thieves playing at sixpenny loo in St. Luke's--all these people are at +heart the same. But we must not class in this unclean category Lord +Spunyarn and his friend Haggard, who were both playing at the big table. +Haggard merely played for the excitement, and Spunyarn because it was a +lesser bore to play than to look on. + +The game was baccarat. + +The table is covered with a tightly-stretched green cloth, which is +divided by yellow lines into fourteen spaces; two larger ones in the +centre of the table are the places of the banker and the croupier; +twelve other spaces of a smaller size indicate the seats of the rest of +the players, or "punters," as they are technically termed. The table is +full, as has been stated: a bank has just been terminated, and the +banker retires, having lost the whole amount of his bank. The croupier, +who is, of course, a professional--a bald Frenchman, nominally one of +the card-room waiters--looks round the table with the air of an +auctioneer. "Fifty pounds--seventy-five--a hundred--two hundred--two +hundred and fifty--three hundred; thank you, sir. Mr. Haggard takes the +bank, gentlemen, at three hundred pounds." + +Haggard rises with a smile, seats himself in the dealer's vacant place, +opposite the croupier; he places in front of him a pile of gold and +notes. With the rapidity of one of Messrs. Coutts' young men, the French +croupier counts the money; he arranges the gold in little piles, and the +notes in three little heaps, placing a small paper-weight on each heap. +Then the croupier tears open two packets of new cards, flinging the old +ones into a waste-paper basket at his side. He invites various players +to make the cards; this is done in rather a perfunctory manner. With a +sort of huge paper-knife the Frenchman passes the cards to Haggard, and +as he does so, remarks in a clear, but mechanical voice: "Gentlemen, the +bank is opened for three hundred pounds." Haggard takes the cards, and, +dividing them into two equal parts, rapidly shuffles them, by raising a +corner of each parcel simultaneously, and letting the corners slip with +a rapid "brrr." Evidently, from the dexterity and precision with which +this feat is accomplished, Georgie Warrender's affianced lover is no +novice. He hands the cards to his right-hand neighbour, who carefully +cuts them; each player puts forth his stake towards the middle of the +table, in front of the space allotted him. These stakes are gold only as +yet, and no man's venture seems over five pounds. Haggard takes up about +a sixth part of the cards. "Gentlemen," cries the croupier, "the game is +made." Haggard places a card to the left, for that half of the table; +another at his right, for the other half; a third one he takes himself: +he repeats the process. The croupier slips the blade of his huge +paper-knife underneath the two cards which are on either side of the +dealer, and deposits them, unexposed, with marvellous adroitness, before +the punter on either side whose turn it is to play. Court cards and tens +count as nothing, the ace as one; should the player make either eight or +nine he invariably rests contented, and exhibits it; if below eight, he +exercises his fancy or discretion, and takes or refuses a third card. +Then Haggard turns up his own hand, doing precisely the same. He has +drawn a knave and a six; he takes another card; this turns out to be an +ace. "I have seven," he says. The player to his right holds eight, the +player to his left has only six--the right side wins, the left side +loses. In an instant the croupier, with his huge paper-knife, sweeps up +the cards, and, with the rapidity of a conjuring trick, he casts them +into a wooden bowl in the middle of the table; then he rapidly sweeps +off all the stakes on one side of the table; with equal celerity he +places each man's winnings before the players on the other side. There +are no quarrels, and no mistakes. Everybody is terribly polite. And so +the game goes on. + +Though the amount played for is serious, a good deal of rather bald +conversation and chaff goes on. There is a considerable amount of give +and take. If any one has lost his temper, as well as his money, he takes +good care not to show it; to do so here would be indeed bad form. Young +Lamb has already paid several visits to Mr. Levison's little table. +Haggard's deal goes on, no very startling _coup_ coming off, but it has +been a good bank as yet, for the pile in front of Haggard has increased +to nearly six hundred pounds. Young Lamb having gnawed his extinguished +cigar till it somewhat resembles a quid, and having consequently +swallowed a considerable amount of nicotine, flings it away with a +curse. As the last note of his last loan from Levison is swept up by +the remorseless _pelle_ (for so the gigantic paper-knife is technically +termed), Lamb gives an order to the waiter, and pays another visit to +the smiling little Jew. Their business is rapidly transacted; Lamb +redeems some half-dozen I O U's which he had previously given to the +steward, hurriedly signs a formal-looking instrument, which is duly +witnessed, and stuffs into his breast-pocket a big roll of notes, which +he does not even stop to count. "I do hope you'll be careful, sir," +remarks the steward to Lamb in an affectionate whisper, and in the tone +of an anxious mother to her favourite child. Lamb returns to his seat at +the table; he has lost eight hundred pounds already, but the bulgey lump +in his breast-pocket is another five thousand pounds. The waiter places +by his side a small gueridon on which is a little _carafe_ of green +Chartreuse and a liqueur-glass; he also hands to the young fellow a box +of big full-flavoured cigars, of the brand of _Anselmo del Valle_. Lamb +fills his case, and lights this the _ne plus ultra_ of a soothing weed. + +"Dutch courage, Lammy, my boy," remarked Spunyarn, as he calmly helps +himself to one of the youth's cigars. + +"You'd be doing the same, Shirtings, if you'd been hit at this beast of +a game as I have." + +"Shirtings" was the playful name bestowed on the noble lord, in +reference to the well-known fact that the Spunyarn money had been made +in a Manchester cotton mill, and with that money it was said that the +Spunyarn title had been paid for; the first gentleman in Europe not +disdaining such bargains. Lamb swallows a second glass of his panacea. +The real fact is that the boy likes it because it is sweet, the +after-taste indistinctly resembling the distant memories of the +peppermint bull's-eyes of his early youth. But green Chartreuse +unhappily is not innocent; it is more than a spirit, it is a powerful +drug. Fired by this second draught, his tired eyes already a ferrety +red, his mouth dry with the tobacco, the drink and the excitement, Lamb +in a rasping voice shouts, "Banco." + +There is a sudden hush. The whist players, who had finished for the +evening, hurry to the baccarat table; the other players, some of whom +had already staked their money, reluctantly withdraw their various +amounts. The croupier announces, intoning as does a high-church curate, +"There is seven hundred and forty pounds in the bank, gentlemen." + +Lamb with shaking fingers places the required amount in front of him. +Haggard, the dealer, apparently unconcerned, continues the game. There +is a dead silence. Neither dealer or punter take a third card. The cards +are turned. The dealer has an eight and king, the punter a five and +three. _A tie._ The perspiration stands on young Lamb's face; again his +cigar goes out. The croupier pushes the seven hundred and forty pounds +of the unlucky player a foot nearer to the bank. The next _coup_ will +decide the matter. If Lamb wins, he will get his own money back, if he +loses, then his money is gone for good. Again a dead silence, again the +cards are dealt; this time the bank wins; there is a loud noise of +excited talking, above which rises the monotonous chant of the croupier, +"There is fourteen hundred and eighty pounds in the bank, gentlemen." + +The wretched young man persistently exercises his right of crying +"Banco," and so practically going double or quits each time. But "the +cards never forgive," and as a rule Dame Fortune is relentless to the +reckless player. Three more _coups_ are played, each of which the +banker, that is to say Haggard, wins. At the end of the third _coup_, +Lamb loses, at a single blow, nearly three thousand pounds; he calls the +steward to his side, a short whispered conversation takes place. "Five +thousand nine hundred and twenty pounds in the bank." Again the young +fellow repeats his fatal "Banco," as he stakes a fresh pile of notes +handed to him by the obsequious Jew. Again he loses. Haggard has won, of +him alone, eleven thousand pounds. Nobody feels inclined to go on; every +one is rather scandalized, for it is apparent to all that the boy has +become suddenly, thoroughly intoxicated. + +"Damned shame, I call it," growled old General Pepper, who in his heart +envied Haggard his luck. "Why, the man's drunk, beastly drunk, sir." + +Haggard rises, glaring at old Pepper in a menacing manner. "Am I to +regard your remark as any insinuation upon me, General Pepper?" he said +fiercely. + +"I say it's a damned shame," repeated the veteran. + +The hubbub became general. What was to be done? Of course, there would +be a scandal, but in the eyes of most men at the Pandemonium Club, +Haggard was not to be blamed, he was merely to be envied. Probably the +real fact was that the weak young fellow was suddenly carried off his +legs by the repeated draughts of the fiery cordial, the effect of which +only became apparent to the on-lookers after the final bet had been made +and the game had recommenced. Who shall cast a stone, then, at Haggard? +He merely backed his luck, as the saying is. There was nothing unfair +about the matter. But the nasty part of the whole thing was, that +Haggard had won eleven thousand pounds from a weak-headed boy. The +society newspapers for the week alluded to the matter in veiled, but +unmistakable terms. And when Haggard announced to his friend Spunyarn +his intention of returning to America, to realize his property, on the +termination of his wedding tour, the young lord acquiesced in that +decision, casually remarking, "It would be as well if you fought shy a +bit, you know, old man, for I am heartily sick of being bothered about +the baccarat matter, and of looking in the paper to see if that young +prig Lamb has hung himself. Ta ta, you lucky beggar. I shall be to the +fore at your diggings to-morrow, in the regulation shiny boots." They +parted. + +Next day Reginald Haggard was to lead Georgina Warrender to the altar, +and Spunyarn's allusion to shiny boots merely referred to the fact that +he was to be his friend Haggard's best man. + + + + + CHAPTER VI. + + GEORGIE'S WEDDING. + + +In newspaper descriptions of the last moments of celebrated criminals, +we constantly read that "the unfortunate man did full justice to a +substantial meal;" but nobody ever yet heard of a bridegroom who had any +appetite for his breakfast; his own real breakfast is meant, and not the +elaborate entertainment which follows close upon the ceremony. Reginald +Haggard and his friend, Lord Spunyarn, were the vicar's guests at King's +Warren Parsonage, but in vain did Mrs. Dodd press upon Haggard the +numerous dainties with which her hospitable board was provided. Haggard +was in a state of suppressed excitement, and he couldn't eat a mouthful. +They were a cheerful enough party though, and Lord Spunyarn made up for +his friend's deficiencies, for the young nobleman had an almost Homeric +appetite. Justice Haggard, Reginald's father, and Lord Hetton, who had +passed the night at the "Dun Cow," were present, for the sporting +nobleman was supposed to represent the head of the family, his father, +Lord Pit Town; and though he looked upon the whole matter as a very +great nuisance indeed, still it was a family function at which his +presence was a matter of course. + +That breakfast at the Parsonage seemed interminable to Haggard, but even +clerical breakfasts must have an end, and at length Mrs. Dodd rose, to +the general relief of all present. There were yet two mortal hours to +get through, and the men of the party sought the cool shades of the +vicarage garden. + +"Pull yourself together, old man," said Spunyarn to his friend, for +Haggard was looking pale and miserable; "you're as sulky as a bear with +a sore head. It's quite unnecessary to pose as a hero of romance. +What's up with you, man; boots too tight?" + +"I'll be hanged if I can tell you what's up," said his friend, "but this +I know, I'm confoundedly depressed." + +"Perhaps it's your natural timidity," said the other. + +"Don't chaff, Shirtings; you're a very good fellow, you know, but I'm +not in a laughing humour." + +"Well, you needn't sulk all the same," said Spunyarn; "take my advice +and have a glass of brandy." + +Justice Haggard looked far more like a bridegroom than his son; the old +gentleman, in his blue frock coat, his blue bird's-eye neckerchief, and +with a flower in his button-hole, was the picture of health and +happiness; while his white hat, which was cocked a little on one side, +completed his festal appearance. He gave his son a hearty smack on the +back. + +"When I married your mother, Reginald, my boy, I was as jolly as a man +could be; why, there's nothing to be alarmed about, unless you've lost +the ring, you know; and the ladies wouldn't let you off with that +excuse, for there's always the key of the church door in case of an +emergency." + +Haggard forced a smile. + +"The ring's safe enough, father," he said. + +"Don't worry him, gentlemen," cried the vicar; "it's only natural. I've +had a good deal of experience with bridegrooms; believe me, it's the +general symptom. I felt just the same when I was married myself; but +it's nothing to preaching one's first sermon. It's all very well for you +to talk, Haggard; but I'll be bound we were both just as miserable as +our young friend, though we've forgotten all about it now. But here +comes my wife with the sacrificial emblems." + +There was no compromise about Mrs. Dodd, as she advanced straight to the +bridegroom and proceeded to firmly secure a large white favour to his +breast. The rest of the party were soon similarly decorated. + +"There's one comfort, we haven't far to go," said Lord Hetton. "I feel +we look rather like a parcel of fools." + +"At all events, we haven't any time to lose," suggested the vicar, as he +looked at his watch; "and, unless we mean to keep the bride waiting, we +had better be off." + +The whole party passed through the little wicket, crossed the +churchyard, which was thronged with the whole population of King's +Warren in its Sunday best, and entered the church, and the bridegroom +and his friends at once took their place at the altar rails. + +If Georgie Warrender had acted with proper decorum, she would have wept +upon her father's bosom; but this ill-regulated young person did nothing +of the kind. They must have been all very glad to get rid of her at The +Warren, for nobody shed a single tear; there was a great deal of +running about; the young person from the West End milliner's, her mouth +full of pins, issued innumerable orders in a muffled whisper; and Miss +Lucy Warrender and her three fellow bridesmaids appeared completely +attired, at least half-a-dozen times, to submit themselves to old +Warrender's inspection in the drawing-room quite half-an-hour before the +carriages drew up at the door to take them to the church. + +Georgie was not sufficiently old-fashioned to be married in a bonnet. +Even a plain girl looks well in white, and Georgie was not a plain girl +by any means. Of course, according to all proper precedent she ought to +have rushed into her father's arms, and with floods of tears have bid +him a touching farewell. What she did do, however, as she entered the +room, was to rapidly advance and affectionately embrace him, then she +stepped back and dropped him a low courtesy. + +"Shall I do, papa?" she said with a loving smile. + +"My dear, you're a credit to all of us," said the old gentleman, and her +appearance certainly justified the ecstatic looks of Miss Hood, the four +bridesmaids, and the young person from the West End. + +Georgie was fully conscious of her privileges. No woman can twice in her +life dress in white satin and orange blossoms, and if she mars the +effect by the regulation tears, it is quite certain that there must be a +screw loose somewhere. There was a great deal of tittering, smiling, and +blushing; but the squire glanced at the clock, Lucy handed the bridal +bouquet to her cousin, then the squire gave his daughter his arm, and, +preceded by the bridesmaids, the little procession entered the +carriages, and five minutes' drive brought them to the church. + +Haggard, when he cast his eyes upon Georgie Warrender, seemed to regain +his composure at once; there must have been a terrible amount of +forwardness about this young lady, for according to rule and the +pictures in the illustrated papers, her eyes should have been fixed upon +the ground; and as the latest etiquette book says, "the bride should +only acknowledge the bridegroom's presence by an assumption of shrinking +timidity suitable to the occasion." But the bride smiled at Haggard, and +so did the vicar, and so did the four bridesmaids. + +The Reverend John Dodd didn't take long in tying the knot. The village +organist had distinguished himself by his florid rendering of the +Wedding March. As Lord Spunyarn gave his arm to Lucy Warrender, he +almost felt as if he had been married himself, and that it was a rather +pleasant process than otherwise. + +"It's rather rough on us, Miss Warrender, having to play second fiddle," +he said, while they were standing in the vestry during the signing of +the register. + +"Well, we can look upon it as a dress rehearsal, Lord Spunyarn; but we +mustn't forget that it is a solemn moment, for I see that Mrs. Dodd is +looking this way." + +The bells were clashing merrily from the village spire as the party +passed out of the church porch. As Haggard handed his wife into the +carriage, she appeared still lost to all sense of the proprieties, for +she nodded and smiled in every direction at the King's Warren villagers, +among whom she had grown up; even poor Blogg, the poacher, and his +hoyden daughter, Jemima Ann, were not unnoticed. And the patriarchal +blessing of the village veteran, "Master" Jasper, as he was called (who +had represented King's Warren on the field of glory some five-and-forty +years before, and stood bobbing his palsied head, arrayed in his holiday +garment, a linen ephod or smock frock, to which his Waterloo medal was +proudly affixed), was given heartily enough. "God bless 'ee, Missy," +cried the old man in the shrill cracked voice of age, as he pressed up +to the carriage window. + +"Thank you, Jasper," said the girl with a sunny smile. Strange to say, +those two words gave the old fellow more pleasure than the thought of +the unlimited potations he knew he would enjoy that afternoon at the +squire's expense. + +The wedding breakfast very much resembled the similar festivities at +which most of us have assisted. The usual speeches were made, nobody +seemed very much inclined to eat, but everybody's health was drunk; and +I think it was rather a relief to all present when young Mrs. Haggard +appeared in travelling dress, ready to quit, for the first time in her +life, the happy home of her childhood. Then, and then only, did the +young person from the West End millinery establishment remove the pins +from her mouth, which enabled her to swallow a much needed glass of +sherry; and then the squire's voice failed him, and he saw his daughter +rather dimly as he pressed her to his heart for the last time upon the +steps. The bridesmaids relieved their feelings by many salutes and much +tittering. As the carriage moved off there was a perfect shower of satin +slippers, and it wasn't till it got quite out of King's Warren village +that the bride was able to leave off bowing and kissing her hand to her +numerous well-wishers. + +Then the wedding party broke up into little groups in the garden; at +first they didn't amalgamate; the men smoked, and came to the universal +conclusion that Haggard was a lucky beggar; while the ladies talked over +the interesting details of the ceremony. Old Warrender retired to his +study in a rather excited frame of mind, excusing himself on the ground +of his age. + +And now everybody turned out with a feeling of intense relief to witness +the rejoicings on the village green. The school children were there +enjoying rustic games in a somewhat half-hearted manner, for they had +partaken with the appetites of young boa constrictors of the squire's +hospitality, and each of them had a brand new shilling or half-crown in +his or her pocket, according to age. A cricket-match was in progress, +but the bowling and batting were extremely wild, thanks to The Warren +strong beer. But soon the Rev. John Dodd imparted fresh vigour into the +proceedings. The youths and maids pulled themselves together on his +approach; the more bibulous among the men left the proximity of the big +barrels of strong ale, over which the squire's head gardener was +presiding. Lovers, who had been promenading arm-in-arm, separated for +the moment by mutual consent, the swains touched their forelocks to the +vicar, while Phyllis and Chloe smoothed their skirts and courtesied low +to Mrs. Dodd as Lady Paramount. But the vicar meant that they should +enjoy themselves, and he whispered to the squire, the squire nodded, +and the vicar called loudly for Blogg. + +"Where's your father, Jemima Ann?" he said to the poacher's daughter, +who, in all the glories of a pink print dress and a much beribboned +straw hat, had gone off into a succession of courtesies. + +"Please, sir, he's gone to fetch _it_," she said. + +At that moment the sound of a fiddle was heard, and the smiling rascal +who played it, stopping his melody for an instant, made a low and +sweeping bow, which took in the vicar, the squire and the gentry +generally. Then he clapped his fiddle under his chin and without more +ado struck up "Bobbing Joan." + +"That's right, my man," said the vicar, "you couldn't do better. Now +men, now girls." + +But not one of them stirred. + +"Goodness me!" cried the vicar, and then he forgot himself. Could Mrs. +Dodd believe her eyes? Her husband seized Jemima Ann Blogg by the hand. + +"Come, gentlemen, set them a good example," he said, and he commenced to +turn Miss Blogg violently round. Before her father had got through +another two bars of "Bobbing Joan," every soul on the green had +commenced to gyrate, the frown died off Mrs. Dodd's face, as she too +began to turn with slow but majestic movements, her hand clasped by old +Warrender's, her virtuous waist encircled by his aged though still +vigorous arm. Lord Spunyarn pounced upon Lucy Warrender, Lord Hetton +seized another bridesmaid, Justice Haggard somehow got possession of a +third; every village Jack gripped his Jill, and all the parish of King's +Warren, gentle and simple, twirled with one accord to the fine old tune +of "Bobbing Joan." Once started there was no stopping them, the fun +became fast and furious, and I fancy that it was with some regret that +the wedding party itself, having set the ball a-rolling, retired to the +more dignified festivities which awaited them in the great drawing room +at The Warren. + +It wasn't a large party; they were most of them Warrenders and Haggards, +and offshoots and branches of those prolific trees, or people connected +with the families from old association or friendship, but there were +quite enough of them to fill the big drawing-room. Old Biggs, the family +solicitor, who had come down to The Warren the day previously about the +settlements, and Blatherwick, of Lincoln's Inn, who had fought him tooth +and nail over every item, in the interest of the Haggard family, got +their rubber; but both the legal lights had soon declared that it was +impossible to play whist with dance music ringing in their ears. The +lawyers looked rather sheepishly at each other when they found +themselves _vis-à-vis_ in a quadrille, Miss Hood having honoured the +one, while Stacey Dodd clung lovingly to the arm of old Mr. +Blatherwick. Of course it was most unprofessional, but they probably +kept their indiscretions to themselves, and no doubt charged them to +their clients under the head of "sundry attendances." As for the +Reverend John Dodd he seemed to be everywhere at once, no one refused +the Reverend John. When the youngest and best-looking of the bridesmaids +told him that she was danced off her feet the clerical Lothario +overpersuaded her in a few seconds, and round they went like a couple of +dancing dervishes, being the last to hold the floor. + +But even wedding parties must come to an end, though it was midnight +before they finally broke up, and at last Justice Haggard and Lord +Hetton walked over to their rooms at the "Dun Cow." + +"It went off wonderfully well," said Hetton to the Justice. + +"Capital, capital," assented the bridegroom's father. "It's a great +weight off my mind, you know, Hetton. Reginald's been an awful anxiety, +but he's a lucky beggar, he manages somehow to always turn up trumps." + +"Yes," remarked his lordship, "that's been his principal occupation +since I've known him." + +"Boys will be boys, my dear fellow; he'll sober down now, of course he +will. I know I did when I married," said the Justice. + +"I'll tell you what it is, Justice. Warrender's daughter is a very +plucky girl; if she had known half you and I know, Justice, she would +have thought twice about it." + +"The reformed rake, cousin, makes proverbially the best husband. Why, +'pon my word," continued the Justice, "when I was a young fellow I was a +regular devil." + +Lord Hetton blew out a big volume of smoke, and looked at his companion +with some curiosity. + +When an old gentleman, in the fulness of his heart, tells you that he's +been a regular devil, you are bound to believe him, particularly if he's +a Justice of the Peace. + +"We were all devils in those days, my dear fellow, but a man outgrows +it; he marries, and he lives it down; he takes to a hobby. I did. I +can't tell how I drifted into pigs; much in the same way as you drifted +into horses, I suppose. You may take my word for it that pigs are far +more interesting and far more respectable, though they're expensive, +mind you. Yes, they're uncommonly expensive; so are horses for the +matter of that," continued the Justice. "Every man has his ideal, you +see, Hetton. The perfect pig must ultimately be produced. You mustn't +look upon me, you know, as a mere breeder of pigs. I am a benefactor of +my species." Here the pair reached the "Dun Cow" and retired to their +respective quarters. + +So ended Georgie Warrender's wedding-day. As Lord Hetton had remarked, +in engaging herself to Haggard she had done a very plucky thing. +Marriage is like Mayonnaise sauce, either a great success or an absolute +and entire failure. The materials which are blended together to form a +perfect whole are dissimilar and have nothing whatever in common, but +once really thoroughly amalgamated the result is very happy. Perhaps the +marriage celebrated in King's Warren church may turn out well after all. +It is to be feared that like the sauce of sauces in the hands of the +inexperienced cook, the result is more than doubtful. Fortunatus, though +a good fellow enough, is, like his patroness, notoriously fickle. All we +have got to do, however, is to make ourselves as comfortable as possible +in our stalls. The overture is over, the curtain is about to rise on the +drama of Georgie's married life. We haven't a play bill, and don't know +whether we are to listen to some pretty pastoral, to a long three-act +farce, dignified by the title of a comedy, or whether we are to be +thrilled with horror by a gruesome drama of intrigue, limelight effect, +and blood. We haven't even seen a review of the piece; the footlights +go up with a jump, and now the curtain rises. Let us watch the players. + + + + + CHAPTER VII. + + LORD MAYOR'S DAY. + + +It was Lord Mayor's Day. Haggard and his wife sat in the little +drawing-room of their bijou house in May Fair. The room was prettily +furnished, and Georgie had often accused herself of extravagance. The +regulation chairs and tables of the furnished house had been banished +from Mrs. Haggard's drawing-room. It had been a pleasure to choose the +various tasteful specimens of the upholsterer's art. The nesting faculty +is perhaps even more strongly developed in young married ladies than in +birds; young Mrs. Haggard was no exception to this rule. Many had been +the happy pilgrimages made by Georgie and her lover, for Haggard was her +lover still, to the great firm in Pall Mall and to the world-famed +house in Bond Street. + +"Pick up what you like, my dear, and make our drawing-room, your drawing +room, as pretty as you please; nothing can be good enough in the little +kingdom in which my Georgie deigns to reign." + +But sugared compliments and furniture-buying cannot go on for ever. A +pile of invitations attested the Haggards' popularity. Dance-giving +mammas were anxious to secure the success of their entertainments by +obtaining the presence of "lovely Mrs. Haggard." + +A well-known professional beauty in the heyday of her charms was +"sitting-out" at a great ball, the observed of all observers, in a +_dos-à-dos causeuse_ with a Royal Highness. + +"And is your Royal Highness also a worshipper at the shrine of budding +bucolic beauty? I mean pretty Mrs. Haggard," said the spoilt darling of +society, as with a little _moue_ she had indicated Georgie, who entered +the room on her husband's arm. The good-natured prince glanced +carelessly in the direction indicated; his lazy eyes sparkled as he +quickly replied in a tone of reproof: + +"Pretty is not the word, Mrs. Charmington; if that is the lady you +allude to, she is lovely, absolutely lovely, and must count amongst her +admirers every member of the human race who has had the happy privilege +of beholding her." His Royal Highness rose. + +Mrs. Charmington hastened to spread the report that his Royal Highness +was seriously smitten. + +"Royals ripen early, I suppose; naturally they age as quickly; perhaps +his Royal Highness is arriving at a second childhood, and his heart +turns to people of the Dolly the Dairymaid type." + +But in her first rage Mrs. Charmington had been weak enough to let out +that the prince had called young Mrs. Haggard "lovely." Mrs. +Charmington had received her own unsigned patent as a recognized beauty +from the discriminating admiration of his Royal Highness. The _fiat_ had +gone forth, and Julia Charmington had commenced her reign. The +Charmington boot and the Charmington Bouquet were very freely +advertised. A reproduction of Mrs. Charmington herself decorated the +interior of the omnibuses. + +"Why use dangerous cosmetics when Jones' soap retains youth and health +for the complexion, and fosters the development of beauty?" Underneath +the portrait was a facsimile of Mrs. Charmington's fashionable scrawl, +"I owe you so much, so very much. I have never used any other soap than +yours. Very faithfully yours, Julia Charmington." + +Ill-natured people said that Mrs. Charmington owed a great deal to +Messrs. Jones. That the cheque that paid for her well-known turn-out +had been signed by the firm; that they had twice paid her dress-maker's +bill, when that terrible person had become importunate; that they had +settled the account of Monsieur Alphonse, the great _coiffeur_; that +they had paid her husband's debts. Some of them, more imaginative, +declared that Mrs. Charmington was even a sleeping partner in the +saponaceous firm. But the ill-natured people were quite wrong; it was +not Messrs. Jones who paid Mrs. Charmington's bills. Little Jack +Charmington, her husband, had a snug four hundred a year of his own, +which quite sufficed for his modest needs. Mrs. Charmington's graceful +letter had been written by her in a moment of good nature, and, it may +be said in confidence, at the instigation, some eight years ago, of Big +Reginald Haggard, who had looked on the whole matter as a joke, and who +had, at that stormy period of his career, been very much in Mrs. +Charmington's confidence. The real fact was that Mrs. Charmington kept +Messrs. Jones before the public, and those astute advertisers did the +same kind office for the lady. + +Thus it was that Georgie became "lovely Mrs. Haggard." This is what the +writers of serious books pompously call "the _secret history_ of the +whole matter." + +Georgie now, to her astonishment, found her movements invariably +chronicled in the society journals. It rather annoyed her than +otherwise, but her husband was pleased, and that was enough for Georgie. + +The lazy giant was sprawling on the most comfortable of the sofas; the +pair were alone in the dainty little drawing-room. Young Mrs. Haggard's +eyes were full of tears. "Won't you take me with you," she sobbed +appealingly, "it's only for six months, Reginald?" + +"I can't, my darling; it's a beast of a climate, and the mosquitos would +eat you up. I shall only be away for six months; you know I have made +up my mind to get rid of the whole bag of tricks. It's quite true the +land can't run away, but there are always rows and revolutions and +smashes going on; you can't trust anybody. Of course, Georgie, I should +like you to go; but think of the risk. It won't wash at all. We'll stay +over Christmas here in England. I suppose I must take you down to see +the old man, and then we'll go straight off to Rome, and finish the +winter there. I'm getting rather bored, you know, Georgie, with the fuss +people make in town. It's deuced fine fun for you of course." + +The fact was that this excellent husband hated playing second fiddle, +and he found, to his astonishment, that young Mrs. Haggard's social +success had far eclipsed that of Georgie Warrender. As a good-looking +young bachelor, though a detrimental, he had been very popular. As a +wealthy _parti_ and a sort of lion he had been the fashion himself the +previous season, and to his own knowledge his curly hair and big +moustache had caused a quicker beating of the heart in many a female +breast. But as Beauty's husband he felt out of his element. "You lucky +beggar!" had been repeated to him so often that he hated the phrase. Of +course, he still admired his wife as the handsomest woman he had ever +clapped eyes upon; he wasn't even jealous of the great attention that +Georgie habitually received. First, because he knew he could trust her +implicitly; but secondly, and this was far the more powerful reason, +because he was too much a man of the world ever to render himself +ridiculous. + +"You know we can have rather a jolly time of it in Rome, Georgie," he +said. "You must by this time be as heartily sick of the eternal +_tête-à-tête_ as I am. I don't mean that," he said, springing to his +feet as he noticed that his young wife shuddered and turned pale; "but +the fact is, Georgie, I don't want to be pointed at like poor old Jack +Charmington, and I confess, dear," he added with a smile, "that I should +like a little more of 'lovely Mrs. Haggard's' society." + +A very little crust thrown to the very hungry is always accepted with +gratitude. Georgie Haggard brightened up at once. "I suppose I must make +the best of it, dear," she said with a pleased smile; "at all events, I +shall have you all to myself in Rome." + +"Yes; it will be quite a second honey-moon; but I half promised your +cousin Lucy that she should join us. It'll be beastly dull for her at +The Warren, you see, poor girl; and she doesn't seem to jump at +Spunyarn, though he does hang on. Is there any one else in the wind, do +you think, Georgie?" he said with some interest. + +"No; Lucy seems perfectly heartwhole," replied his wife. + +"I often wonder you two hit it off so well," mused Haggard as he gazed +into the blue flames that flickered over the little wood fire, for his +wife affected a wood fire as more cheerful. "Why, Lucy has been your +only serious competitor this season; I wonder you aren't jealous of each +other." + +"How can you talk such nonsense, Reginald?" the wife replied with a +sunny laugh. + +"Then you don't mind her coming with us on the Roman trip?" + +It showed that Mrs. Haggard had considerable confidence in her own +attractions, as she innocently replied, "If you don't mind, why should +I, dear?" + +"Well, then it's all settled, old girl; we'll put in the dull time in +Italy. Old Pit Town knows lots of good people, and would give us +letters, I suppose. In the spring I'll just rush across and polish off +the Mexican affair." + +His gaze again returned to the fire which smouldered on the hearth. + +There was a silence. + +Gradually Haggard raised his eyes; they rested on his wife, they took +her in from head to foot, and seemed to appraise each of her numerous +points. The husband's countenance was lighted up by a pleased +expression. + +"By Jove! Georgie," he said, "people are quite right; you are an +uncommonly fine woman." + +He kissed her. + +It was the kiss of proprietorship, similar to the appreciative pat he +would have given to a prize dog or a valuable horse that was his own +property. + +Yes, Georgie loved the man, and looked up at him with wistful, trusting +eyes. She was his, body and soul. + +But the door opens, and a peal of merry laughter caused Haggard and his +wife to subside into seats on either side of the fireplace. + +"Oh, Georgie! I'm so sorry you missed it, it's been such fun, and Mr. +Sleek has been so attentive. I really think the two girls thought I was +setting my cap at their father. What with the procession outside, and +the farce indoors, we've had a delightful morning," cried Lucy +Warrender, as she entered the room. + +"I fear it was rather a tragedy to poor little Sleek," said Lord +Spunyarn, who followed her; "a tiger when a-lashing of his tail was +nothing to Sleek. I shall never forget the look he gave me after lunch." + +"When inflamed with love and wine, you know," said Lucy pertly. "Behold +his scalp." + +Lucy triumphantly extended an enormous formal bouquet. Alas, for poor +little Sleek! his flowers were carelessly tossed upon the table. + +"Oh, they were very confidential, you know," lisped Spunyarn; "I was +quite out in the cold." + +"Ungrateful man, when you had a window all to yourself, and a smiling +Miss Sleek on either side of you, gazing into your eyes. You neglected +your opportunities, Lord Spunyarn. Let me tell you that the daughters of +my last conquest are two very pretty girls." + +"Not when Miss Warrender is present." + +"I rather think you forgot Miss Warrender's presence," retorted the +coquette. + +"Anyhow, two's company and three isn't, you'll all allow that. How happy +could I have been with either were t'other dear charmer away." + +"Did they both propose to you, Lord Spunyarn?" said Mrs. Haggard with a +smile. + +"If I were a vain man I should confess that they rather gave themselves +away." + +"Much as Hanibal Peter Gray did for love of the beautiful cannibal," +said Lucy. + +"Oh, they were quite safe in my case, not being a _mangeur de +coeurs_," replied the discreet young nobleman. "But my attention was +not sufficiently absorbed by those guileless girls that I failed to +perceive the doings of the other couple." + +"You are quite wrong, as usual. Mr. Sleek was merely explaining who the +various people were." + +"In that case, Miss Warrender, he might at least have given us all the +benefit of his information, instead of conveying it in an inaudible +whisper to Miss Warrender's private ear. And he needn't have blushed +till he looked like a pickled cabbage." + +"It's not fair, Lucy," said Mrs. Haggard reprovingly, with an attempt at +matronly dignity. + +"Well, you know," laughed the girl, "it wasn't my fault. Spunyarn +declined to come to the rescue. There I was, practically _tête-à-tête_ +with the man; the noise of the crowd drowned my cries and remonstrances. +Besides, after the scalp, and the elaborate lunch which was awaiting us +in the middle of the room, I felt myself bound to listen to the voice of +the charmer. I was cheered, too, by Lord Spunyarn's masterly defeat of +Dabbler. _Poor_ Dabbler!" + +"'Pon my word, I didn't know it. When we came in there was a fat man +messing with the things on the table. He was dressed like a waiter, and +he looked like one--a regular City waiter, you know. He held out his +hand. Of course, I gave him my hat and coat. He has no business to dress +like a waiter and to hold out his hand." + +"Lord Spunyarn, he is a common councilman, and he is going to dine with +the Lord Mayor," cried Lucy. + +"All the same, he has no business to be dressed like a waiter in the +morning, if even he be a common councilman and going to dine with the +Lord Mayor. Anyhow, he took the hat and coat, and then, thank heaven, he +bolted." + +"What's Dabbler to him, or he to Dabbler, that he should weep?" +misquoted Georgie's husband, who had enjoyed Dabbler's discomfiture. + +"It's all very well for you all to laugh, but Mr. Sleek didn't seem to +like it at all. What did he mean by saying that Mr. Dabbler was a warm +man?" asked Lucy. + +"Oh, piles of money of course; all the common councilmen have piles of +money," said Spunyarn. + +"And do they all dress like waiters in the morning, and then dine with +the Lord Mayor?" + +"Yes. I suppose it's an old City custom, you know. Anyhow they always +dine with the Lord Mayor. That's what they die of." + +"And now I have something to tell you, Lucy," said Mrs. Haggard. "It's +all been decided. After the Christmas festivities at the Castle we are +to go to Rome, and we hope you will come too." + +Lucy clapped her hands with girlish glee. "Go with you, Georgie dear? Of +course I will. How good of you to ask me." The girl was evidently +delighted. + +"And have you the heart, Miss Warrender, to leave me, Mr. Sleek, and +your other countless admirers, here in England to 'dree our weary +weirds alone?'" + +And so the idle talk ran on. The Italian trip was discussed, and +considerable ignorance of geography was, as is usual, manifested by all +present. Lucy expressed her disappointment, on being informed that there +were now no brigands in Italy, save those behind the shop counters, or +in the choruses of the opera. + +A trim maid then brought in the tea equipage, and Georgie did the +honours with her usual unaffected grace. + +And now Parson Dodd and his sister were announced. The Dodds presented a +rather dishevelled appearance. They, too, had seen the Lord Mayor's +Show. But the vicar, in a moment of weakness, had yielded to Anastatia's +wish to see something of the real Londoner, whom "dear Dickens has +described so well," as she had put it. + +Great had been her indignation at the want of respect shown to the +Reverend John Dodd's cloth. With horror she had heard her brother +addressed by a disreputable costermonger in a mangy fur cap, as "Old +pal." And though the Reverend John stood all unmoved in the surging +crowd, muscular pillar of the Church that he was, it was only by +clutching him very tightly that poor Anastatia preserved herself from +annihilation. She had seen the Lord Mayor's Show indeed, but at what a +price! The long grey cloak which she wore, a sort of semi-religious garb +which Miss Dodd, as a clergyman's sister, affected, had been splashed +with mud and creased into a thousand wrinkles. Her maiden feet, which +had never felt the sacrilegious touch of the toe of obtrusive +appreciation, had been trampled on by an exhilarated London mob. And +after several hours of agony, just as the Lord Mayor was actually +passing, she had heard and felt a horrid rending, crackling sound, and +had almost shrieked into her awe-stricken brother's ear, "Oh, Jack, I'm +gone at the gathers!" What she meant neither the Reverend John Dodd, or +any other male person, could ever truly know. But evidently something +dreadful had occurred. "Take me back, Jack; take me back to Mrs. +Haggard's at once," the poor little woman had pleaded to the parson. He +got her into a cab at last, and they had reached the Haggards' house in +May Fair, at which, they were stopping for the night. But Georgie +Haggard came to the poor lady's rescue; she and her cousin bore her off +to her hostess's own quarters, where she detailed her sufferings to +their sympathizing ears. Eau de Cologne was duly dabbed upon her +temples, strong tea was administered, but at length the wounded feelings +of the vicar's sister found vent in a little gentle fit of sobbing, and +she was accordingly put to bed. + +"What possessed me I can't imagine," said the Reverend Jack to his two +male friends; "we were quite comfortable at first, you know," said poor +Jumbo, warm with the remembrance of his numerous humiliations. "I had +put Anastatia on a bench; the man made an exceedingly moderate charge of +threepence. I gave him sixpence, and strange to say he had no change. I +didn't like to be done; the man urged me to occupy one place that was +yet vacant; my evil genius prompted me to do so. Alas! I had no sooner +stepped upon the frail structure when it suddenly and unaccountably gave +way in the middle. I was precipitated to the ground in a sitting +posture. Anastatia was fortunately unhurt, but she was much frightened. +Those who had paid for the use of the bench demanded their money _from +me_; while the miserable proprietor, who had previously been most +respectful, in a truculent manner, and with horrible menaces, claimed a +sovereign, and on my declining to comply with his extortionate demand, +he actually offered to fight me, me a clergyman of the Church of +England. From a sense of justice, I hastened to remunerate those who had +been deprived of their coign of vantage, but, alas! the claimants were +innumerable; every man and boy in my vicinity declared that he had paid +for a place. The mob cheered me with derisive epithets. The climax was +reached when a most offensive policeman in a dictatorial manner ordered +me to 'Move on.' The Church of England, in my person, was ordered to +'move on.' I attempted to remonstrate, but I and the proprietor of the +broken bench were both suddenly propelled by the Jack in-office into a +bye street, and I discovered, to my horror, that I had lost Anastatia. +Of course I had to satisfy the ruffian's insolent demands, but I did so +under protest. The officer, however, now became more civil, and I, +fortunately, with his assistance, was able to rescue my sister from the +mob. I _will_ take another cup of tea, if you please. Thank you, three +lumps. I _have_ seen the Lord Mayor's Show, never again will I assist at +that degrading spectacle." + +In vain did Haggard and Lord Spunyarn attempt to reassure the indignant +vicar. Only on the return of Mrs. Haggard and Lucy did the Reverend John +Dodd become comparatively tranquil. Under the soothing influence of +beauty, however, the vicar forgot his woes. + + + + + CHAPTER VIII. + + AT THE CASTLE. + + +The Haggards were heartily glad to leave town. The nasty scandal at the +Pandemonium had been particularly irritating to Haggard personally. +"Thank God," he said to himself, "the head of the family will probably +never hear of it, unless Hetton should go out of his way to tell him; +but I don't think he'd do that, he's not too particular himself, so it +would be only a case of the pot calling the kettle, after all. It wasn't +my fault. How could I know the young idiot was drugging himself with +Chartreuse? I was too much interested in the game. Besides, some one was +bound to have his money sooner or later; in fact," pondered the big man, +"I've been rather ill-used, when I come to think of it. It's just my +luck." + +Just his luck! Yes, it was just his luck; just his luck to squander +every farthing he possessed, and to be pitied by everybody when deported +to do the best he could for himself. Just his luck to have what the +Americans call a "high-old time" in Mexico, to hunt, to shoot, to enjoy +the free wild life and absence of restraint in America. Just his luck to +thoroughly clear out that wealthy gambler Don Emanuel Garcia, at poker; +but then Haggard had all the qualifications for a poker player: he had +the very luck which he grumbled at; good temper, for your thoroughly +selfish man is far too fond of himself ever to be other than +good-tempered; his "cheek" was unlimited, and in the big "flutter" with +the Mexican, he had also had good cards. Given good luck, good temper, +good "cheek," and good cards, a poker player is always invincible; so +the Americans say, and they ought to know. Just his luck to become the +possessor of a large sum of ready cash, when valuable land was going +a-begging; just his luck at that precise moment to invest his easily-got +winnings in the Mexican ranches and pastures, now worth ten times what +they cost him. Just his luck to come home at the right moment to be +accepted by the loveliest girl in Essex, a girl whose beauty had now +even received the _imprimatur_ of so fastidious a judge as his Royal +Highness. Just his luck to be adored by his young wife, and looked upon +by her as a king of men; to be clothed in purple and fine raiment, with +the possibility of a peerage and the possession of immense wealth in the +future. But he was quite right in carping at her, for fortune, like +other fickle jades, is more likely to be true if steadily abused. + +The two girls, his wife and her cousin, interrupted his soliloquy. The +gaieties of the season had, if possible, rendered Georgie's beauty +still more perfect. A succession of _recherché_ entertainments, of +concerts, balls and routs, and their attendant late hours and +excitement, had given the young wife that almost indefinable stamp of +delicate refinement for which we have no word, which is so seldom seen +in England, and which the Italians call _morbidezza_. + +But there was no _morbidezza_ about Lucy; she, too, had shone, perhaps +with a certain amount of reflected lustre; but she had shone, she had +dazzled. When a very young woman is exceedingly good-looking, no prude, +and prepared to go any lengths, being at the same time perfectly +heartless, she is bound to be a success, and Lucy had been a great +success. The Duc de la Houspignolle, the French Ambassador in London, +that duke who was so much missed from the cotillions at the Tuileries of +his imperial mistress, had pronounced Lucy _pétillante_. M. Barbiche, +his second secretary, the best valseur of the season, had declared that +Miss Warrender was the lightest stepper in town. "She make my heart to +beat as it never beat before," said the young diplomatist to his chief; +"but she is not distinguished like her cousin, she is a woman. I think +her cousin is only a goddess after all. They are cold, these married +English. I suppose it is the 'spleen.'" + +"You'll get back your roses, old woman, at the Castle," said Haggard to +his wife. "I think we've both had about enough of it," said he, as he +poured out a brandy and soda. "I'm getting rather sick of seeing my wife +twirled round like a teetotum by a succession of well-dressed idiots, +while twenty more noodles round me are all saying how very charming she +is, and consequently hating and envying me. It's all devilish fine for +you girls, but I really think I shall enjoy a fortnight's dulness and +the counting of possible chickens which may never be hatched at Walls +End. Anyhow, one will get one's rubber." + +"And I shall have two new strings to my bow in the shape of Hetton and +his cousin. By-the by, what is Hetton like? One can't judge of a man at +a wedding breakfast," said Lucy. + +"Oh, horsey; when you say that you say everything." + +"I've a good mind to upset all your plans, Reginald, after all," said +the girl. "Lady Hetton would look well on my cards. And then I should +come in for the Walls End diamonds. By-the-way, are the Walls End +diamonds black diamonds?" + +"Bother Hetton; you've got about as much chance with him as with the old +man, my dear," for it annoyed Haggard to see the slightest cloud to his +prospects, even were it no bigger than a man's hand. + +"Anyhow, there are two bachelors, Reginald, besides his lordship, who is +hardly a bachelor, being, I suppose, wedded to art." + +"Oh! three, my dear; you have forgotten my father; he, too, is aged, but +impressionable. If you'll only talk about pigs, Lucy, and manifest an +intelligent interest, especially in black ones, you can put my nose out +of joint most effectually!" + +"I should make a stern stepmother, Reginald." + +"Of course, _injusta noverca_, and all the rest of it, I suppose. I +don't know about the sternness, my dear, but I can answer for the +crispness." + +"Thank you for nothing, Reginald; however, I shall certainly take a dip +in the lucky-bag at the Castle." + +"By Jove, Lucy! there's Wolff for you." + +"And who is Wolff?" asked his wife. + +"Wolff, my dear, is the toad-eater. In the old days every great man kept +a toad-eater; sometimes his functions were highly paid--Wolff's are, I +fancy. A dish of toads of the largest and most repulsive variety used to +be offered one by one to the big man's relatives and guests. A good +many would partake of them. It was the toad-eater's office to devour the +remainder with apparent gusto." + +"Reginald, you're a wretch! and I don't believe a word of it," said +Lucy. + +Haggard yawned, drained his glass, and they retired to prepare +themselves for the journey to Walls End Castle, which was to take place +on the morrow. + +Lord Pit Town was determined, on this occasion at least, to break +through the rule which he had stringently observed since his return to +Walls End Castle. For many years no lady had graced the great old house +with her presence. It was considerably to Justice Haggard's astonishment +that he heard of the invitation to his son and his son's wife. "Hetton +won't like it," he muttered to himself, as with the point of his stick +he gently titillated the back of one of his favourite black pigs. The +animal stood perfectly still, grunting with suppressed delight. "Hetton +will be decidedly savage," mused the old gentleman. "I wonder whether +Reginald will get something in the will?" pondered his father, his eyes +fixed on the black pig's ears. "He's a lucky beggar, Reginald, a very +lucky beggar, and Warrender's daughter is more than he deserves." Few +fathers think that any woman is more than their son deserves, +particularly when that son is an only son, wealthy, and a possible heir +to a peerage; but we may take it that Justice Haggard knew pretty well +what his son deserved, and that when he considered Georgie "more than +his son deserved," Justice Haggard was probably right. If the prodigal +really had his deserts he would still be chewing husks with the Mexican +swine--husks which the magnificent specimen of the porcine race who was +so delightedly submitting to the caresses of the Justice's stick would +doubtlessly have indignantly rejected. "I wonder why," continued the +meditating Justice, "Hetton don't marry?" Perhaps Mademoiselle Zizine, +of the French theatre, was the reason--who knows? Hetton didn't go into +society, not that society wouldn't have been very glad to receive Lord +Hetton, being Lord Hetton, even if he had been a Siamese twin or a +Spotted Boy, which he wasn't. But Lord Hetton found that society cost +money, and only placed an additional barrier between him and the object +of his ambition--the blue ribbon of the turf. Hence when Lord Hetton +sought distraction from race meetings and Tattersall's, he found it in +the society of Mademoiselle Zizine and her like. + +Evidently the question of why Hetton didn't marry perplexed the Justice; +he paused in his attentions to the pig; the animal, who was black but +comely, missing the accustomed caress, gave a little snort of +impatience. "Bother Hetton!" said the Justice, administering a sudden +and unexpected prod to that tender but irritable skin. The injured and +indignant animal gave vent to a succession of eldritch screams. The +callous Justice passed on to the next stye, immersed in thought. + +Great were the preparations at Walls End Castle, and greater still the +astonishment of the old housekeeper when she heard that the winter house +party was to be graced with the presence of ladies. Not that what were +termed the state apartments were in any way disturbed. The old show +rooms were left to the mice and ghosts, but the more modern suites were +all to be occupied. My lady's own rooms had been allotted to Haggard and +his wife. The rather Spartan simplicity of the late Lady Pit Town had +made her own rooms sombre, if not grim. It had been a labour of love +with the old lord to change all this. The æsthetic gentleman Messrs. +Spick and Span, the great upholsterers, had sent down, had been severely +snubbed by Dr. Wolff; the upholsterer had submitted elaborate coloured +pictures of his idea, his firm's idea, of what a suite of rooms should +be. Part of that idea was sham _bric-à-brac_, the rest was _carte +blanche_ to Messrs. Spick and Span. "We should like," said that +well-dressed and self-satisfied individual, "to turn out a job worthy of +our house's reputation and that of his lordship. We should suggest that +the boudoir be hung with Japanese embroideries; of course, there would +be an Aubusson carpet, and we should cover the whole flooring"--which +Mr. Veneer contemptuously indicated with his umbrella--"with our patent +_parquet_; probably a mediæval pattern would be the most suitable. We +should restore the ceiling and liven up the mouldings with a free use of +gold; in fact, my advice in the matter is, that his lordship should +place himself entirely in our hands. Of course, money's no object. His +lordship cannot do better than to rely upon the taste of our Mr. +Spick." + +"I do not think it shall be so, my friend," Wolff had replied. "You will +put fresh and pretty papers on the walls. Your hangings must be of +chintz, of pretty chintz, and you will put a cheerful carpet on the +floor. As for furniture, there is plenty of that here, but the chairs +and the sofas you shall provide; one thing only you shall remember--they +shall be comfortable. His lordship will sit in every chair; if it is not +comfortable it will go back. As for the ceiling you shall not touch +him." + +Messrs. Spick and Span's representative was wounded in his tenderest +point, but his firm carried out the order to the letter. The old lord +had sat in each chair and was satisfied. The ceiling, which represented +the triumph of Venus, by Verrio, was left untouched. If we were +permitted to penetrate the secret mysteries of the bedchamber, we should +make the reader's mouth water by telling of the toilet table, which was +stamped "Riesener," and bore the mark, "_Meubles de la reine_." We +should tell of the ormolu mounts of the little table, and how it really +once belonged to Marie Antoinette. All the decorative furniture of this +suite of rooms had been carefully selected by the old lord from the vast +accumulation of such things that Walls End Castle contained. For several +weeks he and Dr. Wolff had pottered about the set of rooms that were to +be graced by Georgie's presence. When, to Wolff's astonishment, the +priceless Meissonier, "The Gray Musketeer," was selected as the one +picture to adorn the boudoir, he attempted a remonstrance. + +"Nothing can be too good for her, Wolff," said the earl, as he smiled +upon the picture. + +Other rooms had been set apart for Lucy, but their arrangement had been +left to Wolff. + +It was evident to the German doctor that his patron looked forward to +his great-niece's visit with pleasure. On the day of her arrival, for +the first time in his life, Lord Pit Town failed to visit the new +galleries. + +At dinner, Hetton himself was surprised at the amount of attention paid +to Georgie by the head of the house. Haggard did not attempt to conceal +his satisfaction. Lucy Warrender, ever ready for mischief, feigned an +intense interest in racing matters, but failed to draw Lord Hetton. That +guileless bachelor, Mr. Haggard, of the Home Office, proved more +amenable to her fascinations; he knew that he should get his rubber +after dinner, and Miss Warrender's conversation helped to while away the +time until what was to him the real business of life should commence. As +for the Justice he was in the best of humours, he enjoyed his dinner, he +enjoyed his wine. But the '34 port was so good that he revoked twice, to +the indignation and despair of his unhappy brother and partner. + +The girls sang to the old man at his express desire, and Hetton noticed +with a feeling of secret indignation that the antiquated Broadwood grand +had been replaced by a magnificent Erard. + +The place seemed changed. Lord Pit Town appreciated with mingled +pleasure and astonishment the brightening influence of the ladies' +presence; the party, if not gay, was at least cheerful; the little +leaven had leavened the whole lump. They broke up early, satisfied with +themselves and with each other. But Hetton's equanimity was again +disturbed in the morning when his lordship actually proposed to drive +Mrs. Haggard and her cousin in the park. He retired in disgust to his +own quarters, where he consoled himself by the inspection of his betting +book and the reading of his trainer's last report. Haggard, of the Home +Office, in his own room, with two packs of cards, worked out historical +games of whist and studied the _coups_ of Lachapelle and the other +great masters. Dr. Wolff walked aimlessly up and down the new +galleries, and stopping before Bab Chudleigh's portrait, soliloquized, +as is the manner of his race, "Ah, lovely English woman, you are but a +bainted bortrait, but all men admired you because they could not help +it; if all they say be true, Madame Jezebel, you were as bad a woman as +lived in your bad old days. Gott in Himmel! but you are very like the +leetel Warrender lady. God forbid the leetel lady shall have a heart +like yours. No, I wrong that innocent English _mädchen_. But you are +both _wunderschön_. Hein!" And then the doctor continued his +perambulations, and in his dreamy way, he pondered on Lucy's seraphic +smile, and on her wealth of golden hair. "Such things are not for me," +he thought. "I must go on loving the baintings and the bortraits to the +end of the chapter," and then he sat down to write a business letter +about Fra Filippo Lippi to old Mr. Creeps. Justice Haggard and his son +wandered about the home farm; the father criticized the piggeries, +while the son smoked a big cigar and thought of nothing at all. + +"Gad! Reginald," said the old man, "there's one thing I can't +understand. Pit Town, who looks after most things, neglects these poor +beasts in a most shameful way; if ever I came into the title I should +make it my first business to pull down the whole range of buildings," +here he indicated the piggeries in an indignant manner; "they are a +disgrace to the place, sir; the sight of them offends me." + +"Well, father, I hope you may, I sincerely hope you may carry out your +own ideas here some day," said the dutiful son; "but I don't think the +old man cares very much for your hobby, you know." + +"Then he neglects his duties, that's all," replied the old gentleman +with an indignant snort. "Of course, Pit Town's in the fashion," he +continued, "for we hear about nothing but art now-a-days; but I should +like to know where he benefits his race. His ambition is a purely +selfish one, while mine is distinctly benevolent. The dream of my life, +Reginald, is unrealizable. I know that I can never succeed in producing +the being I see in my dreams, a perfectly boneless pig; a sort of +animated sausage, where fat and lean shall be deliciously blended in the +requisite proportions. I know I strive after the unattainable, but still +every year I get nearer and nearer to the goal. When I remember, sir, +what black pigs were when I was a boy, and what they are now, thanks to +my efforts and those of the noble little band of enthusiasts like +myself, I feel that I am leaving a lasting monument behind me. Why, only +yesterday, sir, when Dr. Wolff pointed out to me what he called a +specimen of George Morland's best manner, I felt what giant strides of +progress we have made. There were the pigs of _his_ day, represented as +great gaunt bony bristly creatures, wallowing at large, sir, in muck and +mire. We never see such horrors now; and I actually envied Pit Town the +possession of that picture. I should like to hang it up, sir, in my +piggeries at The Priory, that the world might look upon what the animal +was, and in contrasting him with the superb creatures I possess, +appreciate what can be done by care, breeding, feeding, and proper +selection. The time will come, Reginald, when every English speaking man +or woman who puts a piece of pork or bacon into his mouth will bless the +name of Haggard. But these are but ambitious dreams, Reginald, never +perhaps to be realized." + +The party at Walls End Castle, though its elements were decidedly +heterogeneous, was a success. Everybody was sorry to go when they left, +and their host regretted the departure of his visitors. + +"The place seems quite dull without them, Wolff," he remarked. "I think +I shall try to see more of my relatives, but we must make up for lost +time, Wolff. Why, since the ladies have been here we have neglected +work shamefully." + +"It has been a pleasant time, Lord Pit Town, for me, for I love +enthusiasm in the young. It has never yet been my fortune to meet with +so delightful and innocent a thirst for information as that displayed by +the charming Miss Warrender. The soul's confessions of that dear young +lady were delightful in their naïve innocence. She has learnt much +during her stay here of the canons of true art; it will be to me an +ever-to-be-remembered epoch." + +The old lord looked up from the great manuscript catalogue _raisonné_ at +the German doctor. + +"So she made a fool of you too, Wolff, did she?" + +"My lord, she respected me too much to attempt to make a fool of me. +She, the young neophyte, recognized in me a humble priest of art." + +"Ah, Wolff," said the old lord with a look at the great portrait of +Barbara Chudleigh, "there are some women who don't even respect doctors +of philosophy." + + + + + CHAPTER IX. + + ANASTATIA'S COURTSHIP. + + +The Reverend John Dodd drew back one morning from the breakfast-table +with the air of a giant refreshed; his wife stared at him over the +silver breakfast-kettle as she had stared at him for the last twenty +years. For the last twenty years Mrs. Dodd had wondered at the +plenteousness of her husband's breakfasts; she was astonished twenty +years ago, and she still stared, an awed woman to the present day. +"John," she said, in a severe tone, "it is my duty." Whenever Mrs. Dodd +differed from her husband she nailed her colours to the mast; she said +it was her duty, and she invariably carried her point. "It's dogged as +does it," is not only the maxim of agricultural labourers in remote +country districts. It is the secret of success in every married lady's +life; it is the talisman confided to the young wife by her more +experienced mother, if she have one, if not her aunt tells her the +secret, and it comes to the same thing. + +"Well, my dear, if you look upon it in that light there is no more to be +said," acquiesced the husband. + +"It is my duty, and yours too, John; above all it is Anastatia's. What +can cement the natural alliance between the squire and the vicar of the +parish, more strongly than the former's union with that vicar's sister? +Besides, I have another reason. It is our bounden duty, Jack," here the +vicar's wife relapsed into familiarity, as she always did when she meant +to carry her point, "our bounden duty to rescue the squire from that +designing woman." + +"Good gracious, Cecilia, who is Anastatia's rival?" + +"You may not have seen it, John, but I have observed it ever since the +girls have been away. Miss Hood means to marry the old man!" This latter +sentence was uttered in a sepulchral whisper. + +"Nonsense, Cecilia, you're joking." + +"Do I ever talk nonsense or joke, Mr. Dodd?" answered the wife in a +judicial tone. + +"Well, my dear," apologetically rejoined the vicar, "I don't think I +ever remember your doing the latter," and he felt much as an unfortunate +man would feel who had dared to accuse the Lord Chancellor himself of +joking and talking nonsense. + +"There can't be a doubt of it. Ever since those girls have gone Miss +Hood has called here in The Warren brougham, never on foot or in the +pony chair." + +"But, my dear, the weather has been wet and cold." + +"'Tis not the weather, John, it is that woman's arrogance, her way of +preparing the minds of the neighbourhood for the catastrophe." + +"Diggory Warrender, my dear, is no more thinking of marrying again than +I am," said the vicar. + +"The thought of marrying again, Mr. Dodd," retorted his wife severely, +"is constantly occurring to the mind of every married man." + +"I assure you it never occurred to mine, my dear." + +"John, you're ungrateful," replied his wife, and burst into tears. + +"If my thinking of marrying again, my dear, will prove my gratitude to +you, I will consider the matter at once," said the vicar of King's +Warren, with a dreary smile. + +But Canon Drivel's daughter did not deign to answer, she merely rang for +prayers. In filed the servants, the two grim housemaids and the parlour +maid of portentous plainness, for Mrs. Dodd made it a rule in her +austere household that the abigails should be unattractive. Mrs. Dodd +opened the book--her father, the Canon's, well-known book of Family +Prayers. Although it was the second Thursday in the month she turned to +the portion appointed for the first Wednesday. Alas! her copy of the +Canon's work opened almost mechanically at the first Wednesday in the +month, for in that Wednesday's selection there was a phrase which was +very dear to Mrs. Dodd; it was the following: "And if there be one among +us whose heart is yet hard," &c., &c. This was Mrs. Dodd's _ultima +ratio_, the last drop that invariably wore away any resistance on the +part of the man who, to her mind, was stony-hearted. When the Reverend +John Dodd heard the commencement of that prayer he trembled in his +inmost soul; when his wife reached the favourite passage she dwelt on +the words with unction; and as the servants filed out of the room he, +who had once been "Handsome Jack Dodd," felt himself a slave. + +"I had better speak to Anastatia," said Mrs. Dodd. + +"Do as you please, my dear," replied the vicar, "but I don't see how +she's to propose to old Warrender, all the same." + +"Men don't understand these things," sententiously remarked his wife, as +she gave a vicious shake to the missionary box, which was always on the +sideboard. Missionary boxes are not seen so often now as they used to +be, but this old-fashioned engine of torture was clung to by the +vicaress. Rosy-cheeked children had received many a bright sixpence from +the vicar, their faces wreathed in smiles; the smiles had faded when +Cecilia Dodd had proved to them, by chapter and verse, that the proper +place for the bright silver was the drab sarcophagus on the sideboard. +Even the vicar's friends, at the termination of their rubber for +threepenny points, dreaded the appearance of the box; they invariably +contributed, the more daring among them sighing as they did so. + +Anastatia Dodd, on the particular morning in question, had not appeared +at breakfast. The fragile little lady was suffering from a cold in her +head. She was in bed, perusing in undisturbed comfort a harmless novel. +But the novel disappeared under the clothes with amazing celerity as the +voice of her sister-in-law demanded admission. The mistress of the house +affectionately inquired if she felt equal to a short conversation. In +some trepidation Anastatia signified her acquiescence. Her sister-in-law +pointed out to her that old Mr. Warrender had been very attentive +lately. Anastatia innocently answered that "He was a dear old man." + +"Oh, my dear, I am so glad, so very glad, to hear you say so," said Mrs. +Dodd. + +"But why glad, Cecilia?" + +"My love, your brother and I thought it _was_ so, and that you +encouraged him. Has he spoken to you yet? He has said nothing to John." + +"Spoken, Cecilia, to me; about what?" + +"This is affectation, dear; you can't pretend to be blind to what is +apparent to all of us." + +"Oh, Cecilia, how can you?" sobbed the vicar's sister, blushing to her +ears and burying her face in her pillows. + +For forty years Anastatia Dodd had lived in maiden meditation fancy +free. True, she had taken a lively interest in all her brother's +curates, but it was always a professional interest and purely Platonic. +But now she blushed, blushed as she had never blushed before. + +What woman is displeased at hearing that she has an admirer? Who among +us would fail to believe what we have, perhaps, secretly wished for in +our heart of hearts? + +That arch Machiavel, the vicar's wife, did not leave her sister-in-law +till she was thoroughly convinced that Diggory Warrender was only +waiting a favourable opportunity to make her a formal offer of his hand +and heart. + +All this was sufficiently exciting to poor Miss Dodd, but what was her +horror, her horror mingled with astonishment, when she heard that, like +the heroines in the story books, she too had a detested rival. Till now +Anastatia Dodd had not known what it was to detest anybody, but her +sister-in-law pointed out to her that detestation was her duty; that +Miss Hood was but a ravening and roaring lion seeking to devour the old +squire, and then to pick his bones. Unconsciously, as she stood by her +sister-in-law's bed, Cecilia Dodd assumed the awful pose, the statuesque +attitude, of the Judith at the bedside of Holofernes of her former days; +her hand, as it grasped the brass ball at the foot of the bed, seemed to +be clutching the head of her victim. Poor Anastatia, as a hare nestles +in its form, had almost shrunk beneath the bed-clothes. + +"It is your duty, my dear," said Judith, "to rescue this man from the +hands of the harpy at The Warren. He has evidently loved you for years, +Anastatia; _it is your duty_; and your brother feels deeply in the +matter, more deeply than I do, my dear; we are but weak women, he is a +clergyman, and, I regret to add, a man of the world. You must, of +course, give Mr. Warrender every encouragement. And do not forget that +your brother is the head of the family, the master of this house, a +clergyman, and a man of the world. _He_ will not see you wronged." + +The vicar's wife left the room and her trembling victim. The voice of +duty called her to the kitchen, where her cook patiently awaited her +inevitable, and always painful, audience. + +In the meanwhile, Squire Warrender and Miss Hood pursued the even tenour +of their ways at The Warren; frequent letters from his daughter, +describing the delights of their foreign tour, cheered the old man. All +unconsciously, the squire sent his hares and his pheasants to the +vicar's wife, his peaches and his flowers to her sister-in-law. In his +cracked old voice, he still paid his Grandisonian compliments to the two +ladies. He was somewhat surprised perhaps to notice that Miss Dodd was +by degrees abandoning her semi-religious garb; and that his visits to +the two ladies invariably procured him the pleasure of _tête-à-tête_ +interviews with the spinster. He noticed too that the vicar's sister now +shook hands with him with an unwonted pressure. One afternoon he +actually came home with a button-hole, a white passion flower, which the +trembling fingers of Miss Dodd had placed in his coat. + +"'Pon my word," he said to Miss Hood, wearing this decoration as they +took their habitual cup of tea together, "I really think that Stacey +Dodd gets younger every day." + +Miss Hood pricked up her ears. Was the hale old gentleman going to make +a fool of himself after all? + +Old Mrs. Wurzel and the buxom Miss Grains sat in the little room at the +vicarage, which was known to everybody as Mrs. Dodd's own room. The +vicar's wife sat before a huge book, in front of her were little piles +of copper money. She and her two visitors, and, of course, the vicar +_ex-officio_, formed the committee of the village coal club. After much +counting and recounting of the coppers, the total was pronounced +correct, and the real work for which the ladies had met was over. The +window of the room commanded a view of the lovely old-fashioned garden, +which had been the care and pride of many successive vicars of King's +Warren. The close-shaven lawn had the inevitable sun dial in its centre. +The garden was not at its best, for the trees had not yet commenced to +bud, but it was a fine clear day, and the trim little figure of the +vicar's sister was seen briskly pacing up and down the well-kept walks. + +"I don't think your sister-in-law seems to care so much for parish work +as once she did, Mrs. Dodd," remarked the old lady to the vicar's wife. + +"No, poor thing, I fear she has anxieties of her own just now, she seeks +solitude a good deal." + +"Is there any attachment, dear Mrs. Dodd?" said Mrs. Wurzel with +interest. + +"Oh, Mrs. Dodd, not an unrequited attachment?" burst forth the brewer's +daughter. For that strapping young woman was romantic, and though the +course of her own love ran smoothly enough, still she felt a sentimental +interest in the woes of others, real or supposed. Her fat red cheeks +would quiver with emotion, and be wet with briny tears, over the sorrows +of Mr. Trollope's heroines. Fat people are always sentimental, though +they may not seem so, and beneath Miss Grains' tightly-laced corset beat +a sympathetic heart. "An unrequited attachment," she repeated, "is so +very, very sad." + +The vicar's wife answered her reprovingly, "You must not think, Miss +Grains, that Mr. Dodd would allow his sister to form such a disgraceful +thing as an unrequited attachment." + +"Oh, but dear Mrs. Dodd, suppose she couldn't help it," said the artless +maiden with a blush and a little sigh. + +"No well-brought-up girl would allow herself to do so, my dear, she +would have far too much self-respect." + +The brewer's daughter blushed deeply, as she thought of the many heroes, +real and imaginary, from Marmion down to the last curate but two, for +each of whom she herself had felt an unrequited passion, or a more than +secret liking. But these hidden passions were before young farmer +Wurzel, in his blue tie and white hat, had proposed to her. + +"Well, at all events, Miss Dodd is hardly a girl," she said defiantly. + +"Miss Grains," retorted the vicar's wife, "every unmarried woman, even +though not in the first bloom of youth, is a 'girl' till she marries. +Certainly Stacey Dodd is a 'girl'; and I have known cases, Miss Grains, +in my experience, where flighty young ladies, though they may have been +temporarily engaged, have remained 'girls' to the end of the chapter." + +To this gruesome suggestion Miss Grains made no reply. + +Old Mrs. Wurzel turned confidentially to the vicar's wife and said, "Is +her engagement generally known?" + +"Perhaps," replied the president of the coal club, "it would be +premature to speak of it as an engagement, but it is talked of all over +the village. I believe there has been an attachment for some years, the +gentleman's attentions are very marked. In fact, I don't think I am +betraying her confidence, when I say that the whole village seems to be +aware of it. Of course, I mention no names. I should scorn to attempt to +precipitate matters. It is a suitable match, I am happy to say, for both +parties, but there is an obstacle, my dear; adverse interests are in the +field. My sister-in-law is somewhat of a prude. I too was a prude, and I +can understand her feelings." + +Here Mrs. Wurzel peered at the vicaress with unfeigned surprise. + +"It's not quite fair, you know, to Stacey," said Mrs. Dodd. + +How was she to tell them, without mentioning his name, that the man who +did not come to the point was the old squire himself, and yet she was +anxious to do so? + +At this moment the austere parlour maid entered the room. "Squire +Warrender is in the drawing-room, madam," she announced. Never in her +life had the vicar's wife been guilty of profanity till now, but the +opportunity was too golden to be missed. + +"Talk of the devil," she said. The four words spoke volumes. Her +visitors took their leave, to spread the report over the village and +parish of King's Warren. + +Mrs. Dodd was a woman who, as we know, did her duty according to her +lights. She was determined at all hazards to do her duty now, without +flinching, to her sister-in-law, for she had already burnt her ships, +and she entered the drawing-room with the deliberate intention of +bringing the old squire to the point. + +The unsuspecting squire asked for the vicar, after shaking hands with +the vicar's wife, and on being informed that his old friend was from +home he innocently hoped that the vicar's sister was quite well. + +"Ah," said Mrs. Dodd with a sigh, "we're a little concerned about +Stacey." + +"You should let Pestle see her," replied the sympathizing squire. + +Now Dr. Pestle was the parish doctor, and he deservedly enjoyed the +confidence of every soul in King's Warren. + +"I fear, squire, hers is not a bodily affection," said Mrs. Dodd with a +deep sigh. + +"Good Gad! you don't mean to say her mind's giving way?" anxiously +demanded the prosaic squire. + +"Oh no, we fancy it's an affection of the heart." + +"Impossible! at her age. Why she's fifty," emphatically asserted the old +gentleman. + +"Not fifty, Mr. Warrender; Stacey Dodd is but forty-one." + +"You don't say so. I should never have thought it." + +The opening of the engagement had egregiously failed. At present the +campaign seemed most unpromising. When a gentleman of mature years looks +upon a lady as fifty, he can hardly be suspected of designs upon her +virgin heart, or of a wish to destroy her peace of mind. Beaten in her +attack on the outposts, Mrs. Dodd changed her strategy with that +multiplicity of resource that always distinguishes the greatest +generals--she determined at once to carry the war into the enemy's +country. + +"You must miss the girls very much, squire," she said as she took up a +little painted hand-screen, to protect her complexion, on which she +lavished much anxious care, from the fierce blaze of the fire. "Yes," +she continued, "you must feel it very dull at The Warren now. Quite +lonely, I fear." + +"No," answered the squire cheerfully, "I have Miss Hood, you know, and +we play bezique or backgammon of an evening." + +"Ah," replied Mrs. Dodd severely, and horrible visions of those +dangerous evenings flashed through the mind of the indignant woman. In +her mind's eye she fancied the squire sitting at the backgammon board +gazing at Miss Hood's shapely arm and hand, for though Miss Hood was the +same age as her sister-in-law, she still had a very shapely arm and +hand. + +"Yes," said the squire, "and she reads me the girls' letters; they are a +great consolation, for Georgie seems so thoroughly happy." + +What more dangerous occupation for a hale old gentleman than to sit and +listen by the hour to the written raptures of his daughter on the +subject of married bliss, read to him by a lady of prepossessing +appearance, by his own fireside, and after having partaken of at least +three glasses of old port? + +"I suppose," said the vicar's wife with assumed carelessness, "that Miss +Hood will be leaving you soon?" + +The squire's eye twinkled with suppressed merriment. + +"Oh no," he said in a determined tone, "I couldn't afford to lose Miss +Hood. For Lucy's sake," he added maliciously. + +The lady fanned herself. There are limits to the endurance of +long-suffering woman. Mrs. Dodd felt that she was being trampled on. The +sensation was new to her, and unpleasant. + +"You appear to cling to her, squire," she said. + +"Naturally, naturally," answered the squire, "so do the girls. She has +been more than a mother to them." + +"Why not make her so in reality?" retorted the exasperated woman, losing +her head. Here the fanning became more furious. + +"The fact is, Mrs. Dodd," said the squire, "I have been screwing myself +up to that point for the last dozen years, but I am close on the age of +the patriarchs, and I don't think she'd have me. If you are of a +different opinion, Mrs. Dodd, I will reconsider the matter; of course it +would be most appropriate. There's no fool like an old fool, I suppose." + +Was the seemingly innocent squire referring to himself, or had this +abominable old gentleman the temerity to allude to the wife of the +vicar of King's Warren as "an old fool?" Who shall say? + +"Do you seriously advise it?" went on her tormentor; "do you think I may +dare to hope?" + +But the vicar's wife answered him never a word. + +He rose to go and shook hands with her in his usual hearty manner. By no +outward sign did Mrs. Dodd manifest her indignation, but when the squire +had left the room she sank into her chair and burst into tears. + +"The serpent!" she ejaculated as she pressed her handkerchief to her +streaming eyes. + +Not one word did Mrs. Dodd utter for many days to her husband of her +momentous conversation with the squire. In a statuesque attitude, she +sat, like Marius on the ruins of Carthage, or Patience on a monument +smiling at grief. + +And then she thought with horror of the confidence she had made to old +Mrs. Wurzel and the brewer's daughter, not an hour before. _On a tiré le +vin, il faut payer la bouteille._ + + + + + CHAPTER X. + + ROME.--THE BALLO PAPAYANI. + + +The party had been in Rome three weeks, they had all thoroughly enjoyed +themselves, and Georgie Haggard had made no objection whatever to her +husband's putting in an appearance at the Ballo Papayani. The great +Carnival ball had been for years one of the sights of Rome. Although the +red English guide-book merely discreetly remarked that "the scene at +Papayani's at Carnival time should on no account be missed," Baedeker +and the other foreign mentors devoted whole pages to glowing +descriptions of these more than Olympian revels. + +An Italian, as a rule, in Carnival time is like an English boy on the +fifth of November--he is not happy unless he dresses up. In this +country, we are apt to think when any one dresses himself up, that he is +disguising a fool. In Italy, on the contrary, all the world is +continually occupied in masquerading in some way or other. Costume +balls, in all classes of society, are favourite entertainments. +Historical masques, though not got up with the elaborate attention to +minute detail which is bestowed upon them by the thoughtful +beer-drinking and sausage-devouring German, are yet of very frequent +occurrence. Every city, every town, nay every hamlet, in Italy, has its +long and glorious history, often written in letters of blood, always +deeply engraven on the hearts of the people. The mementoes of a bygone +time are cherished by the Italians. Consequently, dressing up in Italy +is universal, and even the man who dines upon a penny roll and a quarter +of a melon, can afford five centessimi, or one halfpenny, for a paper +nose, and it costs him nothing to flour his face and hair. + +Let us take an instance. Ivrea is a little place, a small garrison town, +celebrated for its coolness and its cheapness; thither the Piedmontese +flock in crowds when the heat of the city is no longer bearable. There +is nothing remarkable about the place; it has its opera house, at which +ambitious young ladies, principally English and Americans, pupils of the +Conservatorio at Milan, make their _débuts_. Happy garrison, happy +sojourners in the little Italian town; they are provided with a +succession of interesting, though perhaps undeveloped, prima donnas, who +make their little successes or their tiny fiascoes at this nursery of +Art. But Ivrea, like all the other Italian towns, has its history, its +glorious legend, which is never allowed to die, and the Carnival of +Ivrea is the time chosen for representing the story and commemorating +the tragic history of the local heroine. In the Middle Ages, Ivrea had +its feudal lord. The Count Arduino, as may be fancied from his name, was +a bold, bad man; he possessed the terrible _Droit de Seigneur_, which +he rigorously exacted. The belle of the village was a miller's daughter: + + "We never see such maidens now, + Such mill-wheels turn not round." + +She was married. No sooner was the ceremony over than the wicked count +ordered her to present herself at the castle. The command of the feudal +lord could not be disobeyed. Bride and bridegroom, accompanied by the +weeping crowd, proceeded to the castle gate. Count Arduino advanced to +meet her with a smile, unarmed and unattended. He was but claiming his +rights. As he stepped forward to salute her, she presented her cheek to +him, and suddenly stabbed him dead at her feet. The mob of relatives and +friends wrecked and burned the castle, massacring the retainers to a +man. The brave young bride was safely escorted home, where the wedding +feast was triumphantly celebrated, and the miller's daughter lived to be +the happy mother of many children, and died at a good old age. From +that day the _Droit de Seigneur_ ceased to exist in Ivrea. + +This is the origin of the yearly ceremony at the little Italian town. A +pretty boy of seven or eight years of age is chosen by each parish. The +boys are dressed in fancy costumes and mounted on horses, escorted by +the general of the Carnival, who wears a black uniform, and accompanied +by his officers, who are clothed in scarlet. During the Carnival the +town is under the rule of the general and his officers. The party are +received in state by the mayor, the bishop, and the personages of Ivrea. +A poetical address is given at each notable's house. On the second day, +the children, some eight or ten in number (they are called _Abba_), on +horseback, and escorted by the general and his officers, head a +procession, which passes through the town, and which is joined by all +the carriages of the place, filled with ladies in gala costume and men +in fancy dresses. Everybody dresses up. Then are thrown from windows and +balconies, oranges, flowers, and real _confetti_, not the chalk +_coriandoli_ of Milan, but good eatable sugar-plums. In the evening the +little theatre is illuminated regardless of expense, a fabulous sum +being expended on extra lamps. Between the acts the Carnival hymn is +sung by the whole strength of the company, the _Abba_ children, the +general and his officers, who appear upon the stage; and it is a _sine +quâ non_ that every one should wear the republican red cap, even the +_Abba_ children and the lady artists. The more enthusiastic among the +audience, male and female, also sport the red cap of liberty. Secreted +in the omnibus box has been seated the prettiest girl in the town. The +_Mugnaia_, as she is called, is carefully arrayed in the costume of the +bygone time when the tragedy took place, and now she is escorted by the +general of the Carnival to the footlights, a drum and fife band +preceding her, the Carnival hymn is sung, vociferously encored and +joined in by the audience. The _Mugnaia_ now returns to the box in which +she sits in royal state, the observed of all observers. Of course, she +is got up regardless of expense. She, too, wears the little red cap, +and, as has been said, has been chosen for her good looks. The opera is +concluded, a masked ball follows. + +Next day, at seven a.m., in every parish the bride who was last married +proceeds in procession to the Piazza of that parish, and with a mallet +she indicates the place for the annual _scarlo_, or bonfire. She is +accompanied by her husband. The object of these _scarli_ is to manifest +the popular exultation at the annihilation of feudal tyranny. The pair +now return home, preceded by a drum and fife band, and escorted by an +enthusiastic crowd singing songs of liberty at the full pitch of their +voices. + +At two o'clock, the general of the Carnival opens the public ball with +the _Mugnaia_. This is held in the Piazza Carlo Alberto, which is the +largest square in the town. The orchestra is placed in the centre of the +square. Then there is a procession headed by the _Mugnaia_, seated on a +scarlet velvet throne, and borne in a gilded car; then comes a military +band, then the carriages filled with shouting masqueraders and ladies in +elaborate toilettes; flowers, sweets, and oranges, are thrown with +amazing prodigality as before. In the evening, again the opera, again +the masquerade. Next day the procession takes place again, and there is +a public ball in the square till ten, then the _Abba_ of each parish +solemnly applies the light to his appointed _scarlo_. When the last +_scarlo_ is burned out a funeral march is played and all disperse to +their homes. It may be mentioned that the _scarlo_ is not literally a +bonfire in our sense of the word, but what we should call a Venetian +mast, bound with furze and inflammable material, decorated with gaudy +ribbons and surmounted by a flag. + +It is not likely that the inhabitants of Ivrea, who thus commemorate her +heroic deed, will ever forget their _Mugnaia_. + +But we have wandered away from Papayani's, where the door was +surrounded by an enthusiastic crowd of the poorer among the gay +pleasure-seekers of the Carnival. It was a rather trying thing for the +arrivals as they stepped from their carriages and passed into the +building through a double line of sarcastic or appreciative critics six +deep. A quiet brougham draws up at the entrance, the door is flung open +by a ragged masker, with an enormous paper nose, in a tattered _pierrot_ +costume. As he opens the door he bows to the ground with an exaggerated +humility; and Haggard, in his faultless evening dress, steps out, with a +frown upon his face, his big form towering above the puny Italian crowd +as though he were a king of men in a horde of pigmies. He hands a lady +out; her pale blue silk domino hides her effectually from the +inquisitive gaze of the crowd. Her tiny gloved hand clutches Haggard's +arm as he hurries her into the building, which is one blaze of light, +and from which issue sounds of gay music and of the rhythmic tramp of +thousands of dancing feet. The lady is discreetly masked, but though her +personal identity is thoroughly disguised, she does not escape a fire of +compliment from the appreciative ragamuffins on the pavement. "_Ah! che +ragazza bellisima._" "_Che figlia incomparabile._" And as an antithesis +to this flowery Italian praise, said one British 'Arry to another +British 'Arry in the crowd, "Did you see her ankles, George? Do you know +who that lady is?" Certainly the white satin dress of the Watteau +costume that the lady whom Haggard was escorting wore, disclosed an +undeniable instep, and 'Arry's favourable criticism was not undeserved. +"I know one thing," said his friend, "there was no humbug in the single +stone brilliants she wore as ear-rings." The pair disappeared among the +glittering and gaily-dressed crowd that thronged the portico. + +M. Barbiche, formerly of the French Embassy to the Court of St. James's, +his eyeglass tightly screwed into one of his wicked little eyes, was +lolling against one of the pillars of the _foyer_. He was criticizing +the arrivals to Lord Spunyarn, who yawned by his side, evidently +thinking the whole affair a bore. + +"Our Haggard, my friend, is what you call an old fox, I fear. Who was +the charming girl in the blue domino he was dancing with? I failed to +recognize her. She is no _habitué_ here. He intrigues me, this Haggard +of ours." + +"Pooh!" replied the philosophic lord, as he drove an unusually large +volume of cigarette smoke through both nostrils; "some milliner's +apprentice probably, got up regardless of expense." + +"No, my friend, the shepherdess was too well _chausée_ for that; +besides, her mask hides her face too well. Your milliner would not be so +_farouche_ as to hide her face, unless, _ma foi_, she had perchance a +bad complexion; but our Haggard is too great a connoisseur for that. +However, he shall introduce me to this mystery, and we shall see." + +"I wouldn't try if I were you, Barbiche." + +"And why not, my friend? Why not, if you please? Is this Haggard, this +English Adonis of yours, with the manners of a prize-fighter, is he to +_croquer_ all to himself all the pretty girls of Rome? Is it not enough +that he shall have the prettiest wife in Rome? No, I wrong that angel, +the most beautiful and the most virtuous of her sex. Is it not enough +that this man shall every morning sit down to breakfast with the lovely +Mees Lucy? Ah! when I think of Mees Lucy, I remember myself once more, +and I think of those happy days in the Quartier Latin, before my uncle +does me the honour to die, and I embark myself in the diplomatic career. +I study your language in your Dickens, in your Thackeray; at last I +attain proficiency. You see it for yourself, no Englishman ever shall +suspect me, when we shall converse, of being other than a Briton. It is +the same thing with the charming Mees Lucy. I, a Frenchman, feel my +heart beat in sympathy with hers; she is to me a _compatriote_. We speak +to each other as I used to speak to Cascadette in those old happy times. +_Vlan ça y est._ This Haggard of yours he shall have his most beautiful +wife, her most lovely cousin, but what shall he want with this little +shepherdess in the blue domino. Bah," said the indignant man as he +stamps his foot and settles himself down into his enormous collar, "I +say he _shall_ introduce me. Think you, my friend, that I fear this +'la-out?' No, I am of the first force, my Shirtings, at the _savate_." + +"What's that?" said Lord Spunyarn stolidly. + +"My friend, _nous autres_, we do not box like you, but we use the +_savate_. Behold, then, what is the _savate_." And here M. Barbiche +suddenly threw himself into the attitude of an enraged and aggressive +monkey. "A ruffian, he strike me, P-r-r-r-r-r," and here M. Barbiche +sprang suddenly high in air, and with one adroit and well-directed kick +knocked off the hat of the astonished Spunyarn. + +In the tohu bohu at Papayani's this singular action of M. Barbiche +excited not the slightest surprise; he simply received a vociferous +round of applause from the bystanders in his immediate neighbourhood. +Excited by the success of his achievement, Barbiche for the moment +forgot the Embassy, the Duc de la Houspignolle, and the proprieties; he +had been wound up by Papayani's music, and by more than one glass of +Papayani's champagne. The Frenchman became for the moment once more Le +petit Furibon, the darling of the Closerie de Lilas, the champion of the +Quartier Latin, the Elisha upon whose worthy shoulders had descended the +mantle of the prophet, the vanished Caouchouc. + +At this moment the strains of Arditi's immortal waltz, "Il Bacio," +resounded through the place. The head of M. Barbiche kept time to the +music, and he regarded the dancers with a scrutinizing gaze; his eye +evidently sought Haggard and the mysterious shepherdess. As the ring of +maskers which surrounded the space set apart for the dancers thinned, as +numerous couples joined in the waltz, the watchful Frenchman was +rewarded. "_La voila, mon ami_," he said, for Barbiche, when excited, +forgot the English of which he was so proud. + +Directly opposite Lord Spunyarn and his French friend stood Haggard and +his shepherdess. She nestled at his side, clinging to his arm and gazing +up into his eyes. The hood of the pale blue silk domino was now thrown +back, disclosing a magnificent head of powdered hair; the complexion of +the lady's neck and shoulders was dazzling, and evidently natural; her +rounded arms had more of the Venus than the Juno about them; her +figure, as she gazed up into Haggard's face, was seen to be perfection. +The little foot beat time to the music of the waltz. But a black silk +mask with a heavy fall of lace hid every feature, save a rounded chin +and a pair of magnificent eyes, which seemed to be pleading to Haggard, +and the shell-like ears in which blazed the diamond solitaires which had +attracted the attention of the British "'Arry" in the street. + +Haggard's face was suddenly lit up with pleasure, his arm slipped round +the little waist, the left hand of the shepherdess was confidingly +placed on the shoulder of her champion; they started and joined the +numerous pairs whirling round to the music of "Il Bacio." Soon the +couple excited attention, of which both seemed to be wholly unaware. +Haggard, though he was a married man, was still a good dancer, and even +here in a foreign ball-room, where, as a rule, the dancing Englishman +is an object of ridicule, he distinguished himself. For Haggard, unlike +most of the dancers present (at all events those of the male sex), was +perfectly sober; not that the proverbially moderate Italians had +exceeded in the use of their light but notoriously nasty wines, but an +Italian easily becomes intoxicated, exalted, exhilarated, beside himself +under the combined influences of a Carnival ball, the lights, the +perfumes, the music, the dancing, and above all the eyes of his +_inamorata_. Can we blame Petrarch for being cheerful when Laura smiles? +But no Italian present was in so exalted a state as M. Barbiche of the +French Embassy, once so well known as Le petit Furibon, of the Latin +Quarter. + +As the pairs gradually dropped out, Haggard and his partner became the +cynosure of every eye. In vain did Pasquino whirl his Contadina with the +ruddled cheeks, varying his saltatory gymnastics with an occasional +scream; in vain did young Mr. Simon E. Brown, that very rough diamond +from New York city, who had come to Europe for polish, and was +undergoing the process (in the costume of one of the Wise Men of Gotham +who went to sea in a bowl) at the hands of the Signorina Esperanza, of +the Scala, or any of the motley crew, attempt to attract the public +gaze: every eye was riveted with admiration on the shepherdess, that is +to say, every male eye; the female organs of vision turned from her in +disgust, to admire or criticize her partner, and in the end to feel +dissatisfied with their own peculiar victims. For if the masked +shepherdess turned the heads of most of those present, Haggard was +undeniably the best-looking man in the vast arena. But even the +strength of a muscular English dancing man must give way at length to +the power of an Italian waltz played fast at past midnight. As for his +partner, I believe she could have gone on for ever, but she had +perceived that they were attracting attention; she discreetly drew the +hood of her pale blue silk domino over her head and hid herself in the +recesses of that mysterious garment. As ill luck would have it, the +pair pulled up close to the excited Furibon. + +"_Ah, mon vieux_," cried the Frenchman, advancing with extended hands, +"you have rejoiced our eyes. _Ah, gredin_," whispered Furibon, as he +indiscreetly poked his friend in the ribs. + +"Ta ta, old man, I must be off," replied Haggard with a frown, as the +shepherdess clung in evident trepidation to his arm. "For God's sake, +Shirtings, take him away, or there'll be a row," muttered Haggard to his +friend below his breath, his white teeth showing beneath his black +moustache in a menacing manner. + +The crowd of revellers was thick around them. Barbiche was, as we know, +a gentleman, but our ideas of courtesy are not a Frenchman's, and, as +has been said before, he had ceased to be Mr. Barbiche the _viveur_, for +the moment he was Furibon, the daring Furibon of former days. + +"_Saperlotte_," he hissed, and his out-stretched hand touched the pale +blue domino on the shoulder. + +The domino shrank as to avoid him. + +Crash! + +With one cruel but well-aimed blow Haggard smote the Frenchman in the +mouth, and down he went among the feet of the crowd of indignant +maskers. + +"Look to him, Spunyarn," cried Haggard, as he hustled his way through +the crowd, and in an instant disappeared, bearing in his arms the +fainting form of the shepherdess. + +_Væ victis_, alas for poor Furibon, where was his boasted skill as a +kicker? Why had he not sprung high in air and delivered his unexpected +assault? We must say of the _savate_ respectfully, as our Gallic +neighbours said of the Balaclava charge, _c'est magnifique, mais ce +n'est pas la guerre_. Seated on the floor, the unfortunate Frenchman +presented a piteous appearance, as he shed mingled tears of pain and +rage, tore his hair, and wiped his cut lip. "_Insolente birbone!_" +"_Bestia!_" "_Cane!_" Such were the cries of the dancers on seeing the +blow struck, but they were levelled not so much at the assailant as at +his victim. In the eyes of the bystanders, Haggard was evidently looked +upon as the protector of beauty in distress. But as Valour bore off +fainting Beauty, and made his suddenly triumphant exit, everybody's +attention was directed to the unhappy Furibon. A gentleman tearing his +hair, in the eyes of Italians, is a common, interesting, and dignified +object. The cause of this performance is usually romantic, time and +place generally appropriate, but Italians do not tear their hair at +masked balls. As everywhere else, a foreigner in distress in Rome is +looked upon as a grotesque object, and poor Barbiche was no exception to +the rule. At first he sat and wept, now he sat and swore, but all the +time he tore hard at his hair. Haggard had disappeared with the celerity +of a harlequin who jumps through a trap. + +Lord Spunyarn was somewhat bewildered; he, as a boxer, as an amateur +though unsuccessful athlete, knew what a good knock-down blow was; he +had seen them delivered, with varying degrees of energy, force, and +viciousness, but never in all his lordship's experience till now had he +seen a master-stroke which combined all the above qualities in the +superlative degree. At last he got poor Furibon upon his legs. The +Frenchman carefully felt his front teeth, doubtful if they were still +there, then he ceased to swear and to mutter in his own tongue; he +ceased to be Furibon, he became once more the correct M. Barbiche of the +French Embassy. + +"Milor, you have seen the insult. Monsieur Haggard takes advantage of +his physique, of his brutal boxing skill, to maim me, perhaps, _Mon +Dieu_, for life, and to render me an object of contempt and ridicule to +these grimacing apes," here he glowered at the laughing crowd. + +"But, my dear boy, it was your own fault, you know; what did you want +to lay hands on the domino for?" + +"In that there is nothing, Lord Spunyarn. Black dominoes, pink dominoes, +blue dominoes. Bah! they are but public property, milor, but I shall +teach this Don Quixote a lesson, this chivalrous protector of dominoes. +Yes," he added solemnly, as he crossed himself, "please God." + +Lord Spunyarn shook his head. There seemed no other way out of it; the +Frenchman had been struck, the insult was in a public place; an apology +or arrangement was impossible. Spunyarn was well aware that Barbiche was +by no means an antagonist to be despised. He had been a journalist, a +career which in France may enable a man to attain the highest positions; +from journalism he had drifted into diplomacy, as French journalists +sometimes do. This was after his accession to the fortune of a deceased +uncle. Of course, he was skilled with the small-sword, as all French +journalists are bound to be; his reputation with the pistol was equally +deadly. + +"I shall send my friend to him in the morning," said M. Barbiche calmly, +as leaning on Lord Spunyarn's arm he left the ball-room. "I suppose you +will act for him?" + +"Don't know, I'm sure. I'm not up to these things, but I don't see why +you should shoot each other over it." + +The Frenchman shrugged his shoulders as he stepped into his +perfectly-appointed but funereal-looking little brougham. As he drove +home he meditated on his wrongs, and in his heart of hearts he swore +that four-and-twenty hours should not elapse ere the insult should be +avenged by his own skilful hand. + + + + + CHAPTER XI. + + A MEETING IN THE GOOD OLD STYLE. + + +Lord Spunyarn woke with a very bad headache indeed, the morning after +the ball at Papayani's. He hurried to commence his dressing, for his +valet on awakening him had presented a thin and varnished card, bearing +a portentous coronet and the name of the Comte de Kerguel. The man told +him that the visitor had come on business of the most urgent nature. +What his business was, Spunyarn was well aware. Knowing that, next to +getting married, a Frenchman looks upon the delivery of a hostile +message, as the most important, pleasant, and serious event of life; +Spunyarn wisely dressed himself with care and deliberation. When he +entered his sitting-room M. de Kerguel rose and profoundly saluted him. + +"Milor Spunyarn. I have the honour of addressing him?" + +"Yes, it's quite right, that's me Please be seated." + +The Frenchman sat himself down bolt upright. + +"I suppose, Lord Spunyarn, that my visit is not unexpected. I had the +honour to call upon your friend Monsieur Haggard, to demand satisfaction +from him on the part of my friend, Monsieur Barbiche. You, I believe, +were present at the whole affair. Monsieur Haggard has referred me to +you as his friend." + +Spunyarn bowed, stretched out his long legs towards the fire, and +opening his cigarette case offered it to Monsieur de Kerguel. + +"Won't you smoke?" he said. + +A French gentleman in a new frock coat, on the most serious of all +missions, the bearer of a hostile message to a man he has never met in +his life before, is asked to smoke! + +A crowd of strange thoughts passed through his mind. Are these +Englishmen cowards? He drew himself up more stiffly than before, as he +declined the offer. + +"Have you breakfasted?" said his hospitable lordship, ignoring the +gesture. + +"Lord Spunyarn," replied the Frenchman, "I come to you this morning +purely as the emissary of my insulted friend; not to accept of your +kindness, or to trespass on your hospitality." + +"Oh, of course I understand that; but you see we English don't fight +duels as a rule. Of course I should be sorry to balk you, but can't it +be arranged?" + +"Lord Spunyarn, you are aware that my friend was struck. In my country, +no gentleman receives a blow without avenging it. Least of all a +journalist or a diplomate. My friend Monsieur Barbiche was one, and is +the other. In speaking of arrangement, milor, I would suggest that we +are wasting time." + +"But I don't quite see that," persisted Spunyarn, strong in his idea +that the man who fights a duel is a fool. "You see there was a lady in +the matter, and your friend insulted her. Why man, he actually touched +her, I saw him do it." + +"Milor, ladies who go to masked balls are accustomed to such marks of +attention. What my friend did was but a condescension on his part. But +there was a blow struck, milor. Besides this, Monsieur Haggard has +referred me to his friend Lord Spunyarn, I suppose with a definite +purpose, and not with the intention of causing me to listen to, shall we +say homilies, from his lordship." + +"The whole affair's a beastly nuisance. I don't understand these things, +but I will try to settle the matter." + +"Milor, the matter admits of no settlement," said the Breton menacingly, +rising from his chair. + +"I tell you plainly, Monsieur de Kerguel, it is very much against the +grain that I have anything to do with the matter. Unfortunately, as you +say, I was present, and I tell you that our friend Barbiche behaved like +a lunatic. Why he kicked _my_ hat off, and I don't want to call him +out." + +Monsieur de Kerguel smiled. "If your lordship is in any way aggrieved by +my friend's conduct, you have your remedy." + +"Oh, I could have had my remedy last night; if I had felt aggrieved, as +you call it, I should have done exactly what Haggard did--I should have +punched his head, you know." + +"Milor, no man of whatever nationality, as you happily express it, +'punches the head' of a French gentleman with impunity, unless +peradventure," said de Kerguel with an insolent smile, "he is a coward +as well as a boxer." + +"Do sit down," said Lord Spunyarn imperturbably. "He's no coward," and +taking from his pocket a note, he handed it to the Frenchman. + +The letter was short but emphatic. + + "DEAR SHIRTINGS, + + "That ass Barbiche will send a friend to you asking for a meeting. + Agree to anything he wishes and oblige + + "Yours, + + "R. HAGGARD." + +The Frenchman read the letter, reseated himself, and with a bow handed +back the note. + +"I was precipitate, Milor. All this is very irregular; but we advance, +though slowly." + +"Yes, I suppose we do, worse luck. I'll tell you what I'll do. Old +Pepper is stopping in this hotel; there seems to be nothing else for it, +I'll send for him," said his lordship with a sigh, and he rang the bell. + +The waiter who answered it was directed to present his lordship's +compliments to General Pepper, and to request his immediate presence. + +The Indian warrior had just breakfasted, and entered the room in a few +minutes. He was introduced to the Frenchman; a few words from Lord +Spunyarn sufficiently explained the matter. + +"I understand then, Monsieur de Kerguel," said the general, "that we are +the challenged party. As such we are entitled to a choice of weapons?" + +Monsieur de Kerguel bowed. "Assuredly, Monsieur le Général," he replied. + +"You will excuse us then for an instant?" said he, as he motioned +Spunyarn to the window. "This is a beastly affair, your lordship. It +won't admit of arrangement. Do you know if the Frenchman is best at +swords or pistols?" + +"Can't say, I'm sure," replied his lordship; "probably he's a dab at +both. I know he was a newspaper man. They all are fighting men." + +"It's most unfortunate for our man; they'll have to fight. Is Haggard +any good at either?" + +"I don't think he can shoot, at least not in a regulation affair. I know +he can use a revolver, and he is very good at single-stick." + +"It's a heavy responsibility," replied the general seriously. "If it had +been arranged for this morning at dawn we might have had a chance with +the pistols, for perhaps the Frenchman's hand would have been unsteady. +I suppose it was a good knock-down blow?" + +"A regular snorter!" said his lordship with enthusiasm. + +"Most unfortunate. Well, we must try our luck with a regulation sabre; +they can't well refuse it; ours is the stronger and bigger man. I don't +think there's any room for doubt, eh? But it's a precious nuisance. +Man's got his wife here too. It's sure to be in the papers. Beastly +nuisance; we shall all have to clear out, for I suppose it won't be a +mere matter of scratches. It must come off at once too, or we shall be +suspected of shirking. I think that's the only course," said the general +as he pulled down his wristbands. + +"I'm afraid so," said his lordship. + +They rejoined the Frenchman. + +"Monsieur de Kerguel," said the general, seating himself, "we have +elected to choose sabres, regulation sabres; you have no objection, I +suppose?" + +"Sir, the weapon is unusual. As you are doubtless aware, between +civilians the small-sword, the rapier and the pistol are what are +usually employed. The sabre is unusual, and as a rule only employed in +settling the little differences of officers of cavalry." + +"Monsieur de Kerguel, his lordship and I are here in the interests of +our friend Haggard. You are possibly unaware that among English +gentlemen the duel has ceased to be a means in these degenerate days of +settling disputes. Unfortunately our principal has directed us in +writing to agree to your wishes; and his lordship here has, somewhat +indiscreetly, I must remark, taken you into his confidence. As he has +done so, sir," said the general, "and bearing in mind that we are in a +foreign country, and that unfortunately a blow has been struck, we feel +ourselves reluctantly compelled to accept the proposed meeting. It is +therefore our duty, sir, to protect our principal, and we cannot consent +to abate one jot or tittle of our rights. Should you decline the weapon +proposed no meeting can evidently take place," here the general gave a +little sigh; "Lord Spunyarn is of the same opinion. It is then for you +to accept or refuse; in the latter case the matter must definitely end +here." + +The Frenchman paused and thought. + +"Unfortunately, gentlemen," he replied, "my principal has left me no +choice; he naturally declines any apology----" + +"You will please to observe. Monsieur de Kerguel, that we have offered +none," interrupted the general; "in our humble opinion the original +insult, as well as the challenge, comes from you, and we cannot deviate +from our position. We decline to modify our terms in any way. And I +would respectfully suggest that this interview must definitely terminate +the matter one way or the other. I would remark," fiercely added the +general, "that neither we nor our principal are to be cajoled or +intimidated." + +"It shall be as you say, general. Nothing remains then, I think, for us +but to name a time and place. The weapons, the most unusual weapons, we +are reluctantly compelled to accept under protest. Have you any +suggestion to offer, general?" + +"None whatever, sir. One party shall provide a surgeon, the other a pair +of ordinary cavalry sabres. You as a resident in this infernal hole can +doubtless suggest a suitable spot for the meeting. Of course you will +be provided with a second friend. As to time, the sooner the better. We +then, if it suits you, will bring a pair of regulation sabres. You, +perhaps, will bring a doctor who will act for both men. Perhaps you will +also oblige us by naming the time and place of meeting." + +"Gentlemen, the mill at St. Stefano is only four miles off; it is +secluded; we shall not be disturbed. You know the place? Five o'clock +will, I think, suit us all? Is it agreed?" + +The general bowed. + +"Gentlemen, I have the honour to salute you," said Monsieur de Kerguel +with a profound obeisance. + +The general rang the bell, and Monsieur Barbiche's friend took his +leave. + +"Thank God!" piously exclaimed the general. "I had him there; Haggard is +the bigger and more powerful man, of that there is no doubt. It shall +not be my fault if they don't settle their differences with the longest +and heaviest pair of regulation sabres to be had in Rome for love or +money. It's quite against the rule, you know, but you say our man is +good at single-stick, so he may have the luck to smash him or cut him +down before the Frenchman spits him, as he is bound to do if he gets the +chance. And I'll tell you what it is, my lord, I'll take a glass of +curaçao, for I'm dry with talking." + +The curaçao was duly brought, and certainly the general deserved it. The +experienced warrior had perceived that De Kerguel was bent on mischief, +and by his own coyness he had succeeded in beguiling the Frenchman into +accepting a weapon of the use of which his principal was probably +totally ignorant. The men would then theoretically meet on an equality. +But a cavalry sabre is a big and comparatively awkward weapon, and +supposing that both were equally unskilled in its use, Haggard, as the +taller and stronger man, would certainly have the advantage. Besides +this the old general meant it, when he had stated his design to provide +a specially heavy pair of weapons. + +In his great anxiety to secure a meeting at any price, De Kerguel had +been compelled to accept the general's ultimatum with regard to weapons, +"these or none;" but he knew that his principal thirsted for blood, so +he gave way, and it seemed to him at the time that the trifling matter +of providing the weapons was of little moment. But ere he reached his +friend's hotel he felt that he had been caught napping. + +Barbiche was extended upon a couch. A huge piece of black court plaister +hid the wound on his swollen lip, a cup of _tisane_ stood upon the +table. He was dabbing his forehead with toilet vinegar. His head was +bound with a scarlet and yellow silk handkerchief which he wore after +the manner of a nightcap, as is the custom of his country. As his friend +entered he sprang to his feet. + +"Have you arranged it, De Kerguel? Will he meet me, or are these +Englishmen brave only with their fists?" + +"Do not excite yourself, Emile; you will have need of all your skill, of +all your courage." + +"He will come, then, this protector of the _demi-monde_, this model +moral English husband. Say, is it sword or pistols, De Kerguel?" + +"Ah! my poor Barbiche, I fear that I have, as our American friends say, +'given you away.'" + +"You don't mean to say that the coward has apologized? This was no case +for an apology, De Kerguel, as you know." + +"I wish it had been," said his friend; "unfortunately you are to fight." + +Barbiche instantly threw himself into a Napoleonic attitude. Under such +circumstances a Frenchman always feels himself a hero, and invariably +unconsciously assumes the favourite pose of the Little Corporal. + +"Yes, you are to fight, my poor friend, but with cavalry sabres." + +Barbiche suddenly buried his face in his hands, and exclaimed in a +broken voice, "Oh, my mother!" + +When a Frenchman is in a very deep hole indeed, he always apostrophizes +his mother; on ordinary occasions he thinks little enough about her. + +"Kerguel," he cried at length, looking up reproachfully at his friend, +"you must have been mad. The sabre, as you know, is only used among +cavalry officers; the pistol or the small-sword are the arms of +gentlemen." + +"And also of journalists, my friend. Of that the _rusé_ old general, our +man's friend, was unfortunately too well aware. You had tied me down too +tightly, my Barbiche; my instructions were to obtain a meeting at any +price. It was the choice of Hobson, that or none." + +Barbiche placed his hand to his swollen lip. + +"And you were right, my friend. Let us embrace." + +They did so with effusion. + +De Kerguel explained all the arrangements to his principal. Then they +drove to the nearest cavalry barrack, where they had acquaintances; and +that excellent fencer, Monsieur Barbiche, received an hour's lesson in +the use of the sabre from the _maître d'armes_. But he found the weapon +unwieldy, and he returned to his hotel a sadder man than he left it. + +Old General Pepper ate his lunch with considerable relish. He was sick +and tired of Rome, its churches, its ruins, and its priests. He longed, +with an ardent longing, for that paradise of retired military men, "the +sweet shady side of Pall Mall;" he longed, too, for the whist tables at +the Pandemonium, and his so-called friends at that establishment. He +felt that if he only got safely across the frontier he would be one of +the lions of the season; for he was certain that the business he was +bent upon that afternoon would be no child's play. He himself was no +particular friend of Haggard's; but he was proud of having done his best +for his man. "After all," said he to himself, "it's six of one, and +half-a-dozen of the other. It's lucky for Haggard that Spunyarn sent for +me, or that cursed Frenchman would have had his life to a certainty, for +the friend meant fighting; I could see it in his eye." + +Such thoughts as these passed through the worthy officer's mind as he +carefully packed his portmanteau. Then he paid his bill. "Now," he +soliloquized, "this is what I call being sacrificed. Of one of these +fellows I know absolutely nothing, and precious little of the other. But +in the cause of honour I shall probably have to run half across Europe, +and the worst of it is, at my own expense." + +Then the general started out to secure the longest and heaviest pair of +cavalry sabres he could find in Rome. + +Haggard was equally active. He informed his wife and her cousin that +they must leave Rome at once; the convenient excuse of an outbreak of +cholera in the city was a sufficiently valid one for the ladies. By two +o'clock Mrs. Haggard and Lucy, their maid Hephzibah, and Haggard's +useful and polyglot valet, a Swiss, named Capt, were _en route_ for +Geneva. + +"Business, my dear, will detain me here till over to-morrow," said +Haggard, as he embraced his pretty wife upon the platform; "but, please +God, I shall see you then." Perhaps his voice faltered a little, as the +possibility flashed through his mind that perchance, in this world, he +might never gaze again into those loving, trustful eyes. One more kiss +at the carriage-window and the train started, for even Italian trains +must start at last. Haggard stood gazing after the disappearing +carriages. Then he lit a big cigar and went back to his hotel. Then, as +a good man of business, he made his will. It was short and to the +point. He left everything he had in the world to his dear wife, Georgina +Haggard. He rang for a couple of waiters, who duly witnessed it. And +then from his pocket-book he took a little packet of tissue-paper. In it +was a magnificent lock of hair. Alas, its colour was other than the deep +chestnut bronze of Georgie Haggard's. He twined it round his finger, +smoothing its glossy threads, and then he carefully dropped it into the +hottest part of the wood fire which smouldered on the hearth. It curled +and twisted in the embers as if it had been a living thing; a puff of +smoke, a pungent odour, and it was gone. Haggard flung himself upon the +sofa, and then he slept the dreamless sleep of a little child. + +Punctually as the clock struck five, Monsieur Barbiche's faultless +brougham and high-stepping horse drew up at the old mill, the only +building which remained of the ancient village of St. Stefano. The +place was well chosen. There was not a soul about. Barbiche, his face +still very pale, dressed in spotless black, in his button-hole the red +ribbon, so dear to every Frenchman's heart, and accompanied by his +friend De Kerguel, stepped out. They were followed by a little dried-up +Italian army surgeon, who carried under his arm an ominous-looking black +case. They made for the miller's orchard at once. + +They were not destined to be kept in suspense, for Haggard and his party +had preceded them. All three Englishmen, Haggard, the general and Lord +Spunyarn, were attired in ordinary walking dress; the general and +Spunyarn advanced to meet De Kerguel. Barbiche and the surgeon remained +a little apart. + +"Gentlemen," said De Kerguel, as he courteously raised his hat, "we owe +you an apology." + +General Pepper's ruddy face assumed a purple hue. "Did these fellows +mean to cry off after all?" But he was soon reassured. + +"We have thought it better," said the Frenchman with a smile, "to avoid +mixing up any one else in this unfortunate affair. Hence, gentlemen, we +have dispensed with the usual second _témoin_. Dr. Battista, of the +Papal Zouaves, is present. We had better perhaps lose no time." + +"Be good enough," said the general, "to look at these." And from under +his blue military cloak, which lay upon the ground, he drew a pair of +regulation sabres, perhaps a little exceeding the ordinary length. They +were heavy, murderous-looking weapons. + +"I cannot object, gentlemen," said the Frenchman, as he carefully +measured them and weighed them in either hand. "But----" here he +eloquently shrugged his shoulders. + +The expectant adversaries lost no time. They divested themselves of +their coats and vests, and, bare-headed, each advanced to receive his +weapon. + +The general traced two lines on the dusty earth, about eight feet apart. +Barbiche and Haggard took their places. The old general stood between +them, but a little to one side; he held his stick, with the point raised +a little from the ground, ready to dash aside the blades the instant +that blood should be drawn. + +"_En garde, messieurs_," exclaimed De Kerguel. + +Both men put themselves at once on the defensive: their blades crossed, +but the attitudes were different and characteristic. Barbiche, drawing +himself up to his full height, raised his left arm while standing face +to face with his adversary, brought the point of his weapon close to his +finger tips in salute, and then fell at once into the regulation +position of the French fencing schools--the right foot well forward, +both knees considerably bent, the left arm high in air, the elbow at a +right angle. He kept his sword pointed at the eyes of his adversary; +but he never rested for an instant. He evidently meant business. +Haggard, on the contrary, assumed a totally different posture. His left +arm was behind his back, the hand clenched, the right leg perfectly +straight. He held the sabre lower, but the point was kept unwaveringly +at the chest of his enemy; his teeth were set. On his face was that +quasi-good-humoured smile, which is alike assumed by the British boxer +and the British ballet-girl when exhibiting their arts. + +The Frenchman's blade scintillated in the setting sun around Haggard's +more stiffly held weapon. As it grated against it, first on one side +then on the other, Barbiche made pass after pass, feint after feint at +his impassive adversary. Suddenly he sprang forward with cat-like +agility, his left hand touching the ground, and he made a rapid pass +from below upwards at the Englishman; his point passed dangerously near +his ribs. It was the well-known extension _en seconde_; a favourite +trick among Parisian swordsmen of the Romantic school. The attempt +failed, and was followed by a rapid succession of miscellaneous thrusts +and passes in bewildering variety. The Frenchman never withdrew his +blade; but his very anxiety to make a hit was defeating itself. Such +tactics with the light rapier or small-sword are doubtless correct; but +Barbiche forgot the weight of his weapon, and the muscles of his arm +were already beginning to tire. + +As that experienced swordsman, General Pepper, standing with stick +extended, viewed the fight, it seemed to him that Haggard, by remaining +purely on the defensive, ran a considerable risk, but that was Haggard's +business. Perhaps after all his principal meant to take a flesh wound, +and so end the matter. "But," thought the general to himself, "he'll +find out his mistake, if that dancing devil gets in one of his vicious +thrusts." Spunyarn looked on, and the perspiration streamed from his +face. De Kerguel was no less excited, but he preserved a calm exterior. + +More than two minutes had now elapsed since the combat had first +commenced. These things take longer to tell than to do. Suddenly, in an +instant, Barbiche made a furious lunge at his opponent; the Englishman +parried it with ease, dropping his point lower than usual. As if blind +to the consequences, the Frenchman rushed forward with a short sharp +cry, his sword passed across Haggard's chest without touching him, but +poor Barbiche had literally impaled himself on his adversary's extended +weapon. His sabre dropped from his hand. He flung both his arms high in +air, giving one bitter shriek. His face assumed the expression of one +enduring intense torture, and then was calm again. The body, for he was +dead, _slipped off_ Haggard's sword in a heap at his feet. Haggard flung +his weapon to the ground, and all four men crowded round the corpse. + +"He is stone dead," said the surgeon. + +There was a solemn silence. + +"Save yourselves, gentlemen," at length cried De Kerguel. "I will see to +my unfortunate friend. It was his own fault and _mine_," he said with a +sigh. + +The Englishmen saluted. Haggard resumed his garments, and they hurried +from the field, unobserved and unmolested. + +Next morning Rome rang with the affair; by noon all three Englishmen +were safely over the frontier. + + + + + CHAPTER XII. + + THE VILLA LAMBERT. + + +Twenty-four hours at a Genevese hotel were got through by Georgie and +her cousin without difficulty. + +"I do think," said Lucy, "that Reginald might have brought us here +himself. I confess that a _tête-à-tête_ of two women is dull; when they +are almost sisters, as a rule it's duller still; though the dulness is +frequently enlivened by a pitched battle. Georgie, why are you not of a +pugnacious disposition? My fingers literally itch to box some one's +ears; as for Hephzibah, I've no patience with her." + +"I noticed that you had set her crying again, Lucy, for about the tenth +time to-day." + +"And serve her right, she's over head and ears in love with that +priceless jewel, your husband's man; it's as plain as the nose on her +face, and there's no doubt of the plainness of that. I know the +symptoms, they are unmistakable: they always are, among the ministering +classes. He was Capt before, now it's 'Mr. Capt' here and 'Mr. Capt' +there. Mistering is always the first sign, Georgie. No, I've no patience +with her at all. It appears he gave her a thermometer about a week ago; +she has carried this thing about in her pocket ever since; the mercury +has got separated, and she passes her whole time in weeping and shaking +the horrid thing, and trying to get it back again. Now I ask you, +Georgie, just look at her." + +A mirror, turned towards an open door, disclosed the lovelorn Hephzibah +in the next room. Her proceedings were sufficiently grotesque. In her +hand she held a small ornamental thermometer; she would shake it +violently in the air, she would then regard it intently with a puzzled +expression, then she would shake her head and proceed to furiously +agitate it once more. Failing in her purpose, she wept bitterly. + +Good-natured as Georgina was, she could not resist a smile. + +"Hephzibah, you fool, come here," cried Lucy. + +The maid at once secreted the thermometer in her bosom. + +"Why do you hide the nasty thing?" said Lucy. + +"Oh, miss, I'm ashamed." + +"And what are you crying for?" + +"Please, miss, because of the omen." + +"What do you mean?" said Georgina; "do calm yourself, Hephzibah." + +"Oh, miss, only look," cried the girl, as she took the scientific +love-token from its hiding place; "the quicksilver have separated, never +to be re-united, and isn't that an omen, miss?" Here the maid shook the +thermometer with redoubled fury. + +"You stupid creature, so you believe in all that nonsense, do you?" + +"I may be stupid, Miss Lucy, but I've never known a sign or omen fail. +Didn't the cook at The Warren, miss, predict, with coffee grounds, that +I should be engaged to a foreign gentleman, but that some one younger +and more beautiful would prove a jealous rival? Here I am engaged, miss, +or as good, to Mr. Capt; and I know what this omen means. You may laugh, +miss, but it's a very serious thing." + +"I shouldn't wonder at all, Hephzibah; the hotel prospectus says there +are no less than fifty chambermaids here. Perhaps even fifty jealous +rivals." + +"Mr. Capt don't demean himself to chambermaids, Miss Lucy," retorted the +abigail with angry scorn. + +"Oh, I've no doubt Capt is ambitious; perhaps he looks higher. Perhaps I +shall be your rival, Hephzibah." + +"You wouldn't have the heart to do it, miss," said the girl in all +seriousness. + +Mrs. Haggard gave her cousin a reproving glance, but Lucy imperturbably +continued: + +"Well, Hephzibah," she said, "I think you may consider yourself safe +from me, at least; but I'll help you if you'll let me." + +Ladies don't wink, they only imperceptibly droop their eyelids, but the +glance that Lucy gave her cousin was terribly like a wink, and brimming +over with malice. + +"Yes," she went on. "Light that candle, you stupid creature; now hold +your thermometer close to the flame; we shall soon see what the omen is +worth." + +The maid did as she was bid, and carefully watched the tube. + +"Well, are the separated fates getting any nearer?" inquired the young +mistress with affected solicitude. + +"Oh, miss, they are coming together gradually, but very slowly, miss." + +"Get the thing nearer to the candle, then." + +Poor Hephzibah obeyed; she little suspected the heartless trick played +at her expense. + +"Oh, miss," she delightedly exclaimed, "they'll join in another +instant." + +Bang went the fragile bulb, as it splintered into a thousand atoms, and +the mercury shot in sparkling globules over the table. + +Lucy's ringing laugh resounded through the room. + +But the matter was no joke to Hephzibah, her pale lips became +colourless; she pressed her hand to her heart with a gesture full of +anguish, recovered herself with difficulty, gave forth a few short sharp +sobs, cast an almost menacing look upon her younger mistress, then +turned and rushed from the room. + +"How could you have the heart to tease her so?" said Georgie with honest +indignation. "I'm ashamed of you, Lucy; you've no right to trifle with +her feelings." + +"Trifle with her fiddlesticks," laughed the girl. + +But a knock at the door interrupted them; the discreet Capt entered, +bearing a telegram upon a salver. + +Mrs. Haggard, to whom the envelope was addressed, tore it open with some +anxiety; her face assumed a pleased expression. + +"Order a carriage at once, Capt," she said. + +The valet withdrew to execute the command. + +The telegram was from Haggard; it was as follows: + + "_Spunyarn and I are on the road, and shall reach Geneva by last + train. You had better go to the Villa Lambert and arrange for + taking up our quarters there, if you like the place. All + well--H._" + +Georgie handed the paper to her cousin, the latter clapped her hands +with glee. In a woman's life there is nothing more delightful than +arranging a home, though it be but a temporary one. + +The girls hurried to prepare for their drive. And Mrs. Haggard, after +attempting to soothe the wounded feelings of her maid, directed her to +accompany them. + +With Capt on the box, the young wife and her cousin, and their still +ruffled attendant, started on the lovely drive along the margin of the +lake for the villa which Haggard had secured, should it meet with their +mutual approval, as a home for his wife and cousin during his short +projected necessary absence in America. + +As seen from the lake the Villa Lambert, which stood quite alone, gave +one the idea of the place a poet would choose for his meditations. The +villa and its terrace were built of white stone, but a large portion of +the walls was covered with ivy. The house itself was embedded in a +thickly-wooded garden where the trees were just budding into leaf. +Privacy was evidently what had been aimed at in the arrangement of the +place. On looking at it one would instinctively say, _here_ is rest. A +large _porte cochère_, which had evidently been long unused, was the +chief entrance to the place, and a small wicket, pierced by a grille, +and surmounted by a big bell in an iron cage, was the only other means +of getting into the garden. The active Capt descended, and seizing the +substantial handle rang loudly. The bark of a dog was the only answer, +but after repeating the summons several times, the trap in the wicket +opened and disclosed the surly face of an old Savoyard. The gifted Capt +addressed the old man in numerous dialects, but no answering smile of +intelligence illuminated the sulky wooden face; the barred aperture was +closed with an angry slam, and Capt instantly recommenced his solo upon +the bell. Again the trap opened and a weather-beaten crone answered his +summons; at length the door itself was unbarred, and Mr. Capt hastened +to assist his mistresses to alight. He explained to them that the +guardians of the villa were a Savoyard and his wife, and that the man +was probably deaf, but that the woman had expressed her readiness to +show them over the house and grounds. + +The garden was full of trees and thick with evergreen shrubs; the walls +covered, as they are in most gardens on the Continent, with carefully +trained espaliers, many of which were already white with blossom, which +promised an abundant crop. Huge clumps of narcissus gave out their heavy +odour; it was too early for other flowers, save the China roses and +fuchsias, whose bright colours enlivened the place. The beds were +bordered, as in many foreign gardens, by pieces of plank painted a +bright blue; the paths, so different from our hard trim English gravel +walks, were loose shingle, which had been carefully raked. A goat, +chained to a peg, grazed on the unmown lawn; the house itself was +jealously shut up, storm blinds and jalousies covering every window. + +The uncommunicative old gardener continued his interrupted vocation; his +wife, quitting the party and entering the house by a back door, suddenly +flung open the windows of the drawing-room, and so admitted the +visitors. + +There is always an air of discomfort about a furnished house, a kind of +grim bareness that suggests an asylum or a prison, rather than a home; +and in foreign furnished houses this is specially apparent: there are +the regulation amount of chairs and tables it is true; if there are any +ornaments they are always either damaged or in bad taste: they generally +combine both qualities. It was so at the Villa Lambert; but everything +was spotlessly clean, everything was scrupulously cared for; the chairs +stood ranged against the wall in a melancholy manner, cruel +Philistine-looking chairs and guiltless of cushions. There were two hard +formal-looking couches, with straight backs and spider legs. There was a +sort of creepy look about the whole place. + +"I wonder where the last proprietor hung himself, dear?" whispered Lucy +in her cousin's ear. + +But from the rather dismal _salon_ they passed into a more cheerful +room. As the old housekeeper opened the shutters one by one streams of +strong sunlight entered the place; the floor was inlaid wood, the walls +were panelled to the ceiling, and elaborately carved; the ceiling itself +was of polished wood, beautifully veined; the furniture was of oak, +heavy and substantial; attempt at ornament there was none, nor was +ornament needed, for from the windows of this room one looked out +straight over the blue waters of the lake. The cheerful sound of music +came from the deck of a big saloon steamer, bearing its crowd of noisy +tourists. On the opposite shore, at Villeneuve, were the wooded grounds +of the hotel Byron; Chillon, a white spot in the turquoise sea, was +plainly visible to the right. The cousins stepped to the open windows +and descended the flight of stairs that led from the centre one; it +brought them to a little terrace which overhung the lake. + +Lucy clapped her hands with delight, her more staid cousin was rapt in +pleased astonishment. In an instant the thousand and one well-known +descriptions ran through her mind, and she thought of the impassioned +picture of the palace on the Como lake, which Claude Melnotte had poured +into Pauline's delighted ear. Ought she not to be happy? Was not her +handsome husband the very ideal Claude? + +Both girls were enthusiastic; they spent a long afternoon determining +this, arranging that. But spring evenings in Switzerland are chilly; +Capt suggested their return to the hotel. They reluctantly bade farewell +to the little villa; but during all the long drive back they talked of +nothing but the furnishing of the various rooms, the things that must be +had, the things they could not do without. All this was argued _pro_ and +_con._; colours were vital matters, fashion equally important; but not +one thought did the ladies give themselves as to the cost. Happy girls, +they were quite right; money in such a case as this was no object. Lucky +are they who have not to count the cost, these are the people who are +the real privileged classes; it's easy enough not to count the cost at +all, in fact it's like a pleasant dream, a dream which has an unpleasant +awakening at the shrill sounds of the piper who has to be paid. + +The girls sat up till midnight, at which time Haggard and his friend +were due from Rome. They were both travel-worn and had not much to +tell. Their business in Rome had been transacted. No, they were not +hungry; they had dined in the sleeping-car. + +The next day, as gently as possible, Haggard broke to his wife the fact +that it was incumbent upon him to start at once for his American +property. The blow came not unexpectedly, and Georgie made the best of +it. But the husband stayed a couple of days in Geneva; there were papers +to sign in reference to the little villa, a pair of ponies had to be +bought; and the numerous little matters of business to settle, which +somehow or other it falls invariably to the lot of man to transact. + +The parting came at last; it took place on the platform of the station. +There is among women always a melancholy satisfaction in seeing the very +last of the beloved object. Georgie was no exception to the rule. +Spunyarn, who was to accompany his friend, at a discreet distance was +laughing and chatting merrily with the younger girl. True that at one +time there had been rumours of an attachment between the pair; we, who +are behind the scenes, know that both were perfectly heartwhole. + +"Will the train never start, Lord Spunyarn? I'm afraid all this will +upset my cousin; these partings are dreadful things after all." + +"Think what my feelings must be, Miss Warrender. I, who have been +congratulated by my friends over and over again in reference to my +supposed good luck, and who will have now to face the fire of their +chaff at my cruel rejection." + +"Your lordship seems to bear it bravely enough." + +"With profoundest equanimity, Miss Warrender. I leave the lady who has +rejected me, in maiden meditation fancy free, at least, I suppose so; +that thought is balm to my wounded soul. Hope, they say, springs +eternal in the human breast. Miss Warrender may yet change her mind." + +"She will not fail to let you know by telegram should that unlikely +event occur, Lord Spunyarn." + +"I'm afraid you've destroyed my future peace of mind. I now shall never +hear a double knock with equanimity; depend upon it our time has not yet +come." + +"Yours has at all events, Lord Spunyarn, for if you don't get in you +will certainly be left behind." + +"Good-bye, then, Miss Warrender; parting is such sweet sorrow, I e'en +could say good-bye until to-morrow." + +"Now that is very sweet of you. I little thought you were Romeo still." + +"Now and ever, Miss Warrender," said the young man with mock passion, as +they laughingly shook hands, and he hastened to enter the carriage. "One +thing I have forgotten, though," he said, "don't let your cousin see the +Society papers." + +The parting between Haggard and his wife was necessarily what such +partings usually are: it was painful to both; it would not be amusing to +the reader. + +Georgie's eyes were full of tears as her husband embraced her for the +last time. He only tore himself from her reluctant arms as the final +whistle sounded from the engine. As the train slowly moved from the +platform, the girls walked hurriedly along for a few yards. Haggard +leant from the window, waving his hand; his wife gazed after the +vanishing train, standing like Niobe, dissolved in tears. + +Even Haggard, case-hardened as he was, didn't light his cigar for full +twenty minutes. + +That evening Lucy Warrender obtained with some difficulty a copy of +'_The Sphere_;' this is what she read there: + +"Seldom indeed now-a-days do Englishmen fight duels. In this they are +wise, for with us the man who fights a duel receives no sympathy, and +what is more unpleasant, generally becomes an object of ridicule. +Sometimes, however, a duel is unavoidable. We understand that this was +the case in the late unfortunate affair at Rome. The provocation was +given by the man who fell. M. Barbiche was well known in London society. +As usual, the cause of the quarrel was a lady. A correspondent in Rome, +upon whose information we can rely, informs us that a blow was struck by +Mr. R---- H----, but only after the grossest provocation. The meeting +took place within twenty-four hours; unfortunately the result was fatal. +The survivor and the seconds of both parties crossed the frontier at +once, but one of the friends of the deceased took the precaution to draw +up a _procès verbal_ of the affair before he left, and transmitted it to +the authorities. Society in Rome has been stirred to its foundations, +for both the parties were well known. The weapons were sabres. We +understand that the seconds of Mr. R---- H----, a well-known sporting +nobleman and General C----, are, as well as their principal, members of +the P----m Club. General C---- is now in England." + +To Lucy Warrender, who now heard of the matter for the first time, these +initials were no enigma. The cause of Haggard's mysterious detention in +Rome, and of their own sudden flitting, became at once clear to her. "It +was very thoughtful of Spunyarn," she said to herself; "he was quite +right, Georgie certainly shouldn't see this." + +The careful Lucy took every precaution. The consequences of the incident +at Papayani's ball remained a secret to the young wife. + +The ladies were glad of the temporary excitement of their move to the +Villa Lambert, which they made the day after the departure of the two +men. And now commenced a life of seclusion and retirement, which both of +them enjoyed from its very novelty. The old quiet life that they had +led at The Warren seemed to recommence once more. They gardened, they +drove out, they rowed and sailed upon the lake, but they declined all +acquaintances. The life was monotonous enough and devoid of incident. + +Hephzibah Wallis had recovered her spirits, her Swiss lover was more +attentive than ever; he escorted her on a Sunday evening to the +Protestant place of worship, and though she didn't understand a word, +Hephzibah enjoyed the service. In the mysterious rite of "walking out" +going to church together forms an important factor; it is the outward +and visible sign of "keeping company;" it is the inevitable step to +being "asked in church," a kind of probationary period, a sort of trial +trip. Mr. Capt was more loquacious than the British man-servant, under +similar circumstances, would be. He was never tired of drawing out Miss +Wallis on the subject of her young mistresses. The juvenile escapades +of the younger of them were to him a source of endless amusement; he +heard all that his inamorata had to tell, nay his interest was so great +in her artless narratives that he would make her repeat them over and +over again. The Swiss soon found out that in Hephzibah he was dealing +with a truthful girl; for the tale, though oft repeated, never varied. +What girl has any secret from the man she loves? Hephzibah Wallis formed +no exception to the rule. But it never dawned on her, at least not then, +that she was being "pumped." She put down Mr. Capt's complaisance to his +interest in her; and though, as servants will, she at times asked him +questions about his master, she merely admired him the more when they +were dexterously parried, for the confidential valet, in regard to +Haggard, ever remained discretion itself. + +Great was Georgie's delight when she got the first letter from her +husband. Till now they had never been separated; is it to be wondered +at, then, that she locked herself up with the treasure? After the usual +protestations and the regulation amount of sentiment, sentiment which, +hackneyed though it was, brought ready tears of pleasure into the young +wife's eyes, Haggard announced his immediate departure by the mail +steamer. "I'm off to-morrow, Georgie," he said, "for I find life in +London without you perfectly unbearable. I am hastening my departure +that we may the sooner meet again," here followed several sentences of +the usual thing. The fact was that Haggard found himself once more a +sort of lion in spite of himself, but he also detected a rather chilling +reception in many quarters; he was most gushingly received by the least +reputable of his lady acquaintances. Mrs. Charmington, in a long +_tête-à-tête_ with which she had favoured him, had called him "her +hero." But Mrs. Charmington was already on the wane, and as he had no +wish to be her hero now he rather fought shy of her. At the Pandemonium +he was as popular as ever, rather more so in fact; for since the +baccarat affair, particularly as he was away, he had acted as a sort of +scapegoat for the sins of the many. It was rather a nuisance, too, to +find that wherever he went he excited a considerable amount of +attention. Even when seated in the stalls of his favourite theatres, +those temples where the sacred lamp of burlesque is so carefully tended, +it was annoying to find the glances of all those airily-costumed and +magnificently-developed females, who are known as the Lotties and the +Totties, concentrated on himself. + +He had received no invitation to go down to The Warren, but his father +the Justice had written him in no measured terms. + +"I had thought," he said, "that by this time you would have got tired of +making an ass of yourself; you'd better give old Warrender a wide berth; +he is furious." + +All these things then tended to make a long stay in town distasteful to +Haggard, so he went down to Southampton, took his passage for Mexico in +that magnificent steam-ship, the "Capua," and he started, feeling +himself an ill-used man. + + + END OF VOL I. + + + + + * * * * * + + + + +Transcriber's note: + +The oe ligature has been expanded. + +Most of the apparent printers' errors have been retained. A few have been +changed, including those listed below. + + Page 221 Petrach is now Petrarch and + + Page 224 Miugled is now mingled. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42167 *** |