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diff --git a/42123-0.txt b/42123-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..20e0b4f --- /dev/null +++ b/42123-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1435 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42123 *** + + Transcriber's Note: + + Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as + possible. Some changes have been made. They are listed at the end of + the text. + + Italic text has been marked with _underscores_. + Bold text has been marked with =equals signs=. + + + + + NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. + + BAKER'S EDITION OF PLAYS + + The Templeton Teapot + + Price, 15 Cents + + WALTER H. BAKER & CO. + BOSTON + + COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. + + + + +A. W. Pinero's Plays + +Price, 50 Cents Each + + +=THE AMAZONS= Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five females. Costumes, +modern; scenery, not difficult. Plays a full evening. + +=THE CABINET MINISTER= Farce in Four Acts. Ten males, nine females. +Costumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full +evening. + +=DANDY DICK= Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four females. Costumes, +modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays two hours and a half. + +=THE GAY LORD QUEX= Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, ten females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full +evening. + +=HIS HOUSE IN ORDER= Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, four females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. + +=THE HOBBY HORSE= Comedy in Three Acts. Ten males, five females. +Costumes, modern; scenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. + +=IRIS= Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, modern; +scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. + +=LADY BOUNTIFUL= Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full +evening. + +=LETTY= Drama in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five females. +Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. Plays a full evening. + +=THE MAGISTRATE= Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, four females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. + + + Sent prepaid on receipt of price by + + Walter H. Baker & Company + No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts + + + + + The Templeton Teapot + + A Farce In One Act + + By + GRACE COOKE STRONG + _Author of "Marrying Belinda," etc._ + + BOSTON + WALTER H. BAKER & CO. + 1912 + + + + +The Templeton Teapot + + + + +CHARACTERS + + + HORACE TEMPLETON, _a collector of antiques_. + PROF. ALGERNON GATES, _bashful but persistent_. + LEON BURNETT, _a neighbor of the Templetons'_. + ERIC DEAN, _Burnett's brother-in-law_. + MRS. TEMPLETON, _Templeton's wife_. + HILDA, _his daughter_. + SUE, _his spinster sister_. + FANNY BURNETT, _Burnett's wife_. + +TIME:--Summer evening of present year. + + +[Illustration] + +COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. + + + + +The Templeton Teapot + + + SCENE.--_Library in the Templeton home, a comfortable old-fashioned + room, reflecting its owner's love for the antique. A door at R. leads + into the hall; another door L., opens into an adjoining room. For + furniture, a large desk strewn with books and papers, several easy + chairs, and shelves containing books. The room is decorated with + pieces of old china, dignified candlesticks, and various + old-fashioned articles. In a prominent position on the mantel is a + quaint silver teapot._ + + (_As the curtain rises, MR. HORACE TEMPLETON is seated at his desk + writing, surrounded by several ponderous reference books. MRS. + TEMPLETON enters L., carrying a large basket packed with cast-off + clothing_.) + +MRS. T. (_setting basket on floor near door R._). Hilda! (_Goes to L._) +Hilda! Horace, have you seen----? (_In despair._) Oh, it's of no use. +Sue! (_Enter SUE, L._) Sue, have you seen anything of Hilda? + +SUE. She came in here after dinner. + +MRS. T. (_looking out R._). She must have gone out, for her wraps are +not in the hall. How unfortunate! + +SUE. She will be at home presently. (_Looks at basket._) I wouldn't +leave that basket there, Celia. If--if Professor Gates should happen to +call this evening he would surely stumble over it; the dear man is so +near-sighted. + +MRS. T. (_moving basket from door_). It's only a few things that I've +collected for poor Mrs. McLaffety. She's to send her boy for them. Did +Professor Gates tell you that he was coming this evening? + +SUE (_moving about nervously_). Why, no--doesn't he usually call on +Tuesday evenings? + +MRS. T. (_sitting down_). Yes; and on Wednesday evenings and Thursday +evenings and Friday--I declare, I'm so worried about Hilda that I can't +keep track of anything. + +SUE (_in surprise_). Hilda? + +MRS. T. Yes, Hilda. For weeks she has not been herself. I know that she +has something on her mind, but I can't find out what it is. Her father +is no help----(_Sound of door-bell._) I'm sure that's the evening paper; +will you kindly get it, Sue? (_Exit SUE, R. MRS. T. rises hurriedly and +goes to desk_.) Horace. (_Pause._) Horace! + +MR. T. (_without looking up_). Yes, yes. + +MRS. T. (_in exasperation_). Will you give me your attention one moment? + +MR. T. (_impatiently pushing aside his work_). Celia, how many times +must I tell you that I'm preparing an article for the press, entitled, +"The Philosophy of our Forefathers as Revealed by their Kitchen +Utensils," and that I cannot endure this constant interruption? +(_Resumes work._) + +MRS. T. You shall listen to me. Do you ever wonder at the increasing +frequency with which Professor Gates calls here? + +MR. T. (_impatiently_). Well, Gates is a good fellow--fine family--most +distinguished--that sort of thing. + +MRS. T. Very true, and moreover, he is in love with Hilda. + +MR. T. Nonsense! He's twice her age. + +MRS. T. That doesn't matter. Hilda is old for her years; besides, she's +in love with him. + +MR. T. You must be mistaken. + +MRS. T. (_emphatically_). I am not. Didn't you hear me telling Sue that +Hilda is unhappy, moody, incomprehensible? Those are symptoms--trust me. + +MR. T. Well? + +MRS. T. I'm trying to determine your attitude toward this marriage. + + (_SUE appears unnoticed in door R., the paper in her hand_.) + +MR. T. (_irritably_). You speak as if it were a settled thing. + +MRS. T. It is--practically. + +MR. T. Well, all I have to say is, if Professor Gates marries Hilda, +they shall have the teapot. + + (_Resumes work. SUE gives a little cry_.) + +MRS. T. (_turning violently_). Sue, you frightened me. + +SUE. You were speaking of Hilda's marriage? + + (_Lays newspaper on desk. Sits down._) + +MRS. T. Yes; we have the prospect of seeing her settled most +comfortably. + +SUE (_in agitation_). I wouldn't--you mustn't--she's too young. + +MRS. T. (_sitting down and picking up the newspaper_). Not at all. +(_Glances through paper._) Of course, since you've never married, you +naturally think---- (_Springs from her chair._) For heaven's sake, +Horace, the Wentworths were robbed last night of a thousand dollars' +worth of silver! + +MR. T. (_rising hastily and seizing paper_). It can't be possible. Let +me see! + +MRS. T. (_weakly_). Burglars! + +SUE. It's the third robbery on this street within a week! + +MR. T. (_gloomily_). We shall be the next victims, I am confident. Oh, +why have I not carried the teapot to the safe deposit vault? + +MRS. T. (_indignantly_). The teapot? I think that we have other articles +quite as valuable as the teapot. + +MR. T. (_pacing the floor in great agitation_). Celia, are you crazy? +Consider that teapot, which graced the tables of the English nobility in +the seventeenth century when tea was first introduced into Europe, which +passed into the hands of the Puritans in Cromwell's time, and was +brought to this country in 1680, and which has been in our family for +over two hundred years! Why, it's worth its weight ten times over in +gold! (_Picks up teapot and examines it lovingly._) + +MRS. T. I'm sure that no burglar would ever want it. My rings are +another matter. + +SUE. We'll have to sit up all night. + +MR. T. (_replacing teapot on mantel_). This shall not stay in the house +another day. Fool that I have been to keep it so long. + +MRS. T. I'm more anxious about Hilda--out we know not where, and bandits +on every corner. (_Noise without._) Ah, here she is now. (_Enter R., +HILDA and PROF. ALGERNON GATES in street costumes, the latter +perceptibly agitated_.) Hilda, I'm so relieved that you have come. +Good-evening, Professor. + +PROF. G. (_bowing nervously to every one_). Good-evening. Oh, my dear +Mrs. Templeton, such a painful experience for poor Miss Hilda! + +MRS. T. What has happened? + +MR. T. Some one please explain. + +PROF. G. (_sinking into a chair near SUE_). A most horrible fright! +(_Mops his forehead._) + +MRS. T. I command you, Hilda, to tell me where you have been. + +HILDA (_excitedly removing her wraps and tossing them and her purse in +different parts of the room_). Such an adventure, mother. I was crossing +Elm Street in the shadow of the station, when a horrible man brushed +against me, and, before I could prevent him, grabbed my purse, and was +endeavoring to tear my watch from my waist---- + +MRS. T. Mercy on us, has the child been robbed? + +HILDA. He would have gotten away in a moment, had not a tall gentleman +suddenly appeared from somewhere, who seized the ruffian and held him +until the officer that my screams had summoned arrived. + +MRS. T. Then what did you do? + +HILDA. The strange gentleman had just offered to escort me home, when we +met Professor Gates, who was kind enough to take me under his +protection. + +MR. T. But your rescuer, child? To whom are you indebted? + +HILDA. I was so excited that I quite forgot to ask his name. + +PROF. G. An unpardonable oversight on our part, Mrs. Templeton. + +MRS. T. That is unfortunate! The whole affair is most horrible. + +HILDA. Horrible? I think it's splendid! + +ALL. Splendid? + +HILDA. It was an adventure. I'd never had one before; and, mother, he +was so handsome! + +MRS. T. The robber? + +HILDA. No, no, the man who caught him. He was so big and masterful-- +quite the most attractive man that I have ever seen. + +MRS. T. (_glancing apprehensively at PROF. G._). Hush, dear, hush. You +are all unstrung. You must lie down for a few moments. (_Draws HILDA +toward L._) You'll excuse us, Professor? + +PROF. G. Certainly. (_Rises affably_). I trust that our dear young lady +will suffer no ill effects from this experience. + +MRS. T. Sue, will you please bring Hilda's wraps? + + (_SUE rises and gathers up HILDA'S belongings. Exeunt MRS. T., HILDA + and SUE, L. PROF. G. watches them from door._) + +PROF. G. A most remarkable young woman--Miss Templeton--marvelous +self-control. + +MR. T. (_sitting down at desk and looking longingly at his work_). True, +and a most alarming occurrence. Hilda shall not go out alone again. + +PROF. G. (_moving about nervously_). You cannot be too careful. And now, +Mr. Templeton (_pausing by desk and clearing throat several times_), +there is something--in fact--I must explain--to be brief, I love Miss +Templeton. If it meets with your approval, I shall be most happy to make +her my wife. + +MR. T. Well, well, Mrs. Templeton has hinted at this. But, my dear +Professor, have you thought of the disparity in ages? + +PROF. G. (_delightedly_). Considering the marked congeniality of our +tastes, that is hardly worth mentioning. + +MR. T. I fear she may prove reluctant---- + +PROF. G. (_beaming_). I have already ascertained her sentiments; she is +quite willing---- + +MR. T. (_rising and extending his hand_). Then I am most happy to +connect my family with one so esteemed and ancient as your own; and, as +a further mark of my approval, I shall present you on your wedding day +with the Templeton teapot---- + +PROF. G. (_nervously_). Why, my dear sir, you quite overwhelm me. + +MR. T. As I have no sons, it is appropriate that you should own this +priceless heirloom (_taking teapot from mantel_) which, as you know, +belonged to the Duke of Birmingham when tea was first introduced into +England, passed into the hands of the Puritans in the time of Cromwell, +was brought to this country in---- (_Enter MR. LEON BURNETT, R._) Why, +good-evening, Burnett. + +MR. B. Good-evening, good-evening, Professor. I've come over to get +you---- + +MR. T. (_pushing forward a chair_). Sit down, my friend. + +MR. B. (_sitting down_). Haven't time, really. I just want you to come +over to inspect my new burglar alarm--my own invention--greatest device +of the century---- + +PROF. G. (_fidgeting about_). If you'll excuse me, I'll join the ladies. + +MR. T. (_smiling significantly_). Certainly, certainly, Professor. + + [_Exit PROF. G., L., with alacrity._ + +MR. B. (_laughing_). Say, does he board over here? + +MR. T. (_sitting down_). No, that is--it's a state secret, Burnett, but +you are like one of the family; Gates is going to marry Hilda. + +MR. B. (_springing up in surprise_). No? + +MR. T. Yes. + + (_HILDA appears in door L. and listens intently, unnoticed by the + others._) + +MR. B. He's too old. + +MR. T. Oh, no, merely a dignified age for a girl so conservatively +reared as Hilda has been. She is much in advance of her years, I assure +you. + +MR. B. (_pacing the floor thoughtfully_). I don't like it. + +MR. T. I think it a most suitable match, and I am intending to present +the happy pair with my most precious heirloom--the Templeton teapot. + + (_HILDA disappears._) + +MR. B. (_sitting down_). Now, Fanny had always planned Hilda for +Eric--her brother, you know. By the way, we've just received a wire +saying that he was coming this evening. I don't know just what time to +expect him, for he comes and goes like a streak of lightning. I'll be +glad to bring him over and introduce him. + +MR. T. Do, by all means. I know him well by reputation. His collection +of antiques is very valuable. + +MR. B. Finest private collection in Massachusetts. Eric will hardly +leave it. He's never even been to see us since we moved here. But come +over to see my burglar alarm. I've just set it. It's going to +revolutionize the catching of burglars in this country. + + _Enter MRS. FANNY BURNETT, R., hurriedly._ + +MRS. B. Oh, Leon, Leon, the burglar alarm is going off! I am sure +there's a burglar in the pantry. + +MR. B. We'll see about this. Come, Templeton. + + (_MR. T. takes a revolver from a drawer in the desk._) + +MR. T. We'll catch him in the act! + + [_Exeunt MR. T., MR. B. and MRS. B., R., hurriedly._ + + _Enter HILDA, L., in street costume, carrying a letter and a suit-case. + She places letter on desk, goes to door R., pauses irresolutely, then + goes to desk, sits down and buries her face in her hands. Enter ERIC + DEAN, R., with overcoat and suit-case. Drops both, and approaches + HILDA softly._ + +DEAN. Who do you think----? + +HILDA (_springing up with a little scream_). What--who----? + +DEAN (_drawing back in confusion_). I--er--beg your pardon. (_Takes off +his hat._) + +HILDA. Why, it's _you_! + +DEAN. You? + +HILDA. Don't tell me that you're a burglar. How dare you come here? + +DEAN (_politely_). I'm not a burglar. My name is Dean--of Boston. I'm +Mrs. Burnett's brother. I thought this was her house, and, as the door +was open, I walked in. I took you for Fanny. (_Looks about._) I guess +I'm in the wrong place. + +HILDA (_laughing_). Mrs. Burnett lives next door. Mr. Dean, I've often +heard of you, and I'm glad to know you. (_Extends her hand._) Let me +thank you again for your promptness in rescuing me from that brute and +saving my money. + +DEAN (_taking her hand_). It was my privilege. I wish that I might be +always near when you are in danger, Miss---- + +HILDA. Hilda Templeton. + +DEAN (_in delight_). So you're Hilda. Fanny has often told me of you. +What a dear old-fashioned name! + +HILDA (_bitterly_). Yes; everything about me is old-fashioned. I was +born in the Middle Ages, Mr. Dean. + +DEAN. You hardly look it. + +HILDA. But to-night ends it all. To-morrow I shall be free, free to do +as I please for the first time in my life. + +DEAN (_looking at her suit-case_). You're not going just as I'm coming? +I'd hoped that we'd be such friends. + +HILDA. I'm going to my cousin's in New York--to stay--forever, I guess. + +DEAN (_anxiously_). What will you do there? + +HILDA (_with enthusiasm_). Something worth while. I'll be an actress, or +a settlement-worker, or a suffragette--I don't care what. + +DEAN. And your parents? + +HILDA. Hush! They do not know that I'm going. (_Goes to door L. and +listens, tiptoes back. Speaks hurriedly._) My father is a collector of +antiques. I've been brought up in the stifled atmosphere of tradition. +I've never had anything that wasn't at least a thousand years old, or a +friend that didn't belong to a family as ancient as that of Noah. I'm +sick of it---- + +DEAN. But, my dear girl, you can't---- + +HILDA (_excitedly_). Listen! Now father is planning to marry me to a man +twice my age, who cares nothing for me, except as a means of acquiring +the teapot--that is, all that the teapot stands for: a family-tree, +prestige, that sort of thing. + +DEAN (_incredulously_). The teapot? + +HILDA. Don't you know about our teapot? (_Takes teapot from mantel._) +Here it is. (_Sarcastically._) It belonged to somebody when tea was +first introduced into Europe; it was seized by the Puritans under +Cromwell; it was brought to this country in 1680, and has been in our +family for over two centuries. It's what the teapot stands for that I'm +running away from. + +DEAN (_taking the teapot and examining it with the eye of an expert_). +It's a beauty--rather a harmless looking object to drive one away from +home. + +HILDA (_indignantly_). Don't you dare to make fun of me! + +DEAN (_setting down teapot_). I was never more serious in my life. +Listen, Miss Templeton, if you will postpone your departure--just a +little--I will try to adjust matters. There are ways. Will you give me a +trial? + +HILDA (_reluctantly_). I've been ready for days---- + +DEAN (_coming very near_). Will you? + +HILDA. I've telegraphed my cousin---- + +DEAN (_taking her hand_). Will you? + +HILDA (_taking teapot_). If you'll take this thing and carry it where +I'll never see it again, I'll not go--yet. + +DEAN (_drawing back_). I can't---- + +HILDA. I won't stay in the house with it another day. + +DEAN. But your father---- + +HILDA (_picking up her suit-case_). Very well. Please let me pass, Mr. +Dean. + +DEAN (_desperately_). I'll take--anything--only don't go away. You +mustn't. (_Takes teapot._) + +HILDA. Don't ever let me see it again. Hurry. + + (_Moves toward door L._) + +DEAN (_quickly_). After I've seen Fanny, may I come back? + +HILDA. Yes, yes, only please go now. (_Sound of voices without door L. +HILDA draws back._) I mustn't let them see me like this--the suit-case. + +DEAN. Come this way. (_Points to R._) + +HILDA. I'll go to the summer-house and wait. (_Shyly._) Perhaps I may be +there a long time, Mr. Dean. + + [_Exit with suit-case, R._ + +DEAN (_looking after her_). Dear little girl! (_Shakes head at teapot._) +Now here's a quandary: how can I get you back to papa without offending +that divinity? Well, I can't let her go to New York. I'll think it over. + + (_Places overcoat over arm to conceal teapot. Exit, R., with suit-case. + Noise without. Enter MR. T. with a revolver in one hand and dragging + DEAN with the other._) + +MR. T. Caught in the act! What does this mean? Put down that teapot. +(_DEAN obeys._) Set down the suit-case. (_DEAN obeys._) You show great +discrimination for a burglar. You know what is valuable. + +DEAN. Sir, I am not---- + +MR. T. (_sarcastically_). You're not a burglar? You haven't robbed three +houses on this street within a week, I suppose? + +DEAN. Let me explain---- + +MR. T. (_dragging him toward door L._). Keep your explanations for the +officers. + +DEAN (_helplessly_). I assure you---- + +MR. T. (_pointing revolver at DEAN_). Silence! I need no advice, sir. + + (_Drags DEAN through door L. Sound of slamming door without._) + + _Enter MRS. T., SUE, and PROF. G., L._ + +MRS. T. (_wringing her hands_). What has happened? + +SUE. It's burglars! + +PROF. G. (_picking up teapot and replacing it on mantel_). At least, +this is safe. + + _Enter MR. T., L., smiling broadly._ + +MR. T. Congratulate me: I have caught a burglar in the very act of +carrying off the teapot, and I've locked him in the silver-closet! + +SUE. The silver-closet? + +MR. T. He can't get out. + +MRS. T. (_sinking into a chair_). He can fill his pockets with my +spoons. + +MR. T. The police will soon empty them. (_Goes to desk._) I must call up +the police station. Where is that telephone book? (_Picks up HILDA'S +letter._) What is this? + + (_Opens letter._) + +MRS. T. (_rising and going to desk_). Hilda's writing! How strange! Read +it, Horace; my nerves are all unstrung. + +MR. T. (_reading_). "Dear Father: I am tired of living in the past and +being old fashioned and hearing about the teapot. I want to live for +myself and have friends that don't belong to the best families. I am +going to Cousin Anne's in New York; she will find me something to do +that will keep me busy and happy. Don't worry about me. With love, +Hilda." + +MRS. T. Gone! My dear child! What will become of her? (_Sinks into a +chair._) + +SUE (_wiping her eyes_). She has gone to New York alone--at night! +(_Cries audibly._) + +PROF. G. (_trying to comfort SUE_). My dear Miss Templeton, do not let +your feelings overcome you. + +MR. T. (_glaring at PROF. G._). Why doesn't some one do something? +Speak! + +PROF. G. (_in embarrassment_). Why--er--this is most unfortunate! + +MRS. T. (_indignantly_). Unfortunate? I should say as much. Horace, this +is your fault. + +MR. T. That is true. I have been buried in my work and have neglected my +child. + +SUE. If some one went to the station---- + +MRS. T. Why didn't we think of that before? Professor Gates, run to the +station. The train may not have gone. + +PROF. G. (_humbly_). Of course, of course, delighted to be of use. Where +is my hat? (_SUE hands him his hat._) Thank you. + +MRS. T. (_following PROF. G. to the door_). If you find her, use every +argument to induce her to return. + +PROF. G. I'll do my best. + + [_Exit, R._ + +MRS. T. If we cannot find Hilda to-night, Professor Gates shall go to +New York in the morning. + +SUE (_sharply_). Why Professor Gates? + +MRS. T. Under the circumstances, we must, out of consideration for his +feelings, allow him to make himself as useful as possible. + +MR. T. This affair is most awkward. + +MRS. T. I have a feeling that Hilda may not have gone; I'm going to +search the house. + + [_Exit, L._ + +MR. T. Good heavens, Sue, we've forgotten the burglar! + +SUE. He can't get away; you must telephone---- + +MR. T. (_flying around_). Where is the telephone book? + +SUE. I'll find it. + + [_Exit, L. MR. T. follows._ + + _Enter HILDA softly, R. Looks about cautiously. Sees teapot. Takes it + and shakes it indignantly._ + +HILDA (_to herself_). There, I knew it! He didn't take it. He hasn't +even come out. (_Examines DEAN'S suit-case and overcoat._) He's in there +now telling father and making fun of me. The wretch! (_Stamps her +foot._) I might have known that I couldn't trust him. I'll go to New +York now anyway. (_Moves toward R., then comes back._) No, I'll stay out +in the summer-house and confront him with proof of his perfidy. (_Sees +basket._) I'll dispose of this teapot too. (_Hides teapot in basket of +old clothes._) Mrs. McLaffety may find it useful in making the morning +coffee. I'll never forgive Mr. Dean, never, never! + + [_Exit, hurriedly, R._ + + _Enter MR. T., L., with telephone book, followed by SUE and MRS. T., + the latter in tears._ + +MRS. T. She's really gone! + +MR. T. (_searching the telephone book_). Why, I can't find---- + + _Enter MR. and MRS. B., R._ + +MRS. B. Why, of all things, Eric hasn't come. We can't understand it. +(_Looks about._) What is the matter? + +MRS. T. (_embracing MRS. B._). Oh, Fanny, Hilda has gone to New York---- + +MR. T. There's a burglar in the silver-closet---- + + (_Drops telephone book._) + +MRS. B. Mercy on us! A burglar! + +MR. B. What does this mean? + +MR. T. (_in great agitation_). A burglar was stealing the teapot, and I +locked him in the silver-closet; and Hilda has run away to Cousin +Anne's! + +MR. B. (_irritably_). Somebody explain. What has a burglar to do with +Hilda? + +MR. T. He knew the value of the teapot. It belonged to the Duke of---- + +MRS. T. Hilda was unhappy; she wanted to be like other girls. It's all +her father's fault. (_Bursts into tears._) + +MRS. B. Do I understand that there is a burglar in this house? + +MR. T. There is---- + + (_MRS. B. screams._) + +SUE. Calm yourself, Fanny. My brother, with great presence of mind, +grappled with the thief, relieved him of his booty, and has locked him +in the silver-closet. + +MR. B. Bravo! Have you sent for the police? + +MR. T. (_picking up telephone book_). I was about to telephone, when we +found Hilda's note---- + +MRS. T. She's tired of antiques---- + +MR. T. I have burdened the poor child too much with my hobbies. + +SUE. She's gone to Cousin Anne's. + +MRS. T. And Professor Gates has gone after her. + +MR. B. (_importantly_). Come, I think we'd better attend to that +burglar; he may escape. + +MRS. B. (_hysterically_). It's the same one that set off our burglar +alarm. Leon said that the cat did it. + +MR. B. That may be. (_Seizes telephone book._) I'll 'phone myself. +(_Starts for door R.; stumbles over DEAN'S suit-case._) What is this? + +MR. T. The burglar's suit-case. Doubtless it is full of booty. + +MRS. B. (_examining suit-case_). The burglar's? It's my brother's +suit-case. See, the name is on the tag, "Eric Dean." (_All look at +suit-case._) And his overcoat! Oh, my poor brother has been robbed and +murdered! (_Drops into a chair._) + +MR. B. Bring along your revolver, Templeton; I'm going to take a look at +that burglar. + +MRS. T. (_trying to restrain MR. T._). You'll both be murdered! + +MR. T. (_pompously_). I'm not afraid. + + (_Exeunt MR. B. and MR. T., L. SUE listens at the door._) + +MRS. B. They should not open that closet door until the police come. + +MRS. T. (_putting her hands over her ears_). There'll be firing in a +minute. + +SUE. They are bringing him in here! + + (_MRS. B. screams. All retreat to farther side of room._) + + _Enter MR. T., MR. B., and DEAN, L._ + +MRS. B. (_running to DEAN and embracing him_). My dear brother, are you +alive? + +MR. B. (_to DEAN_). Well, this is a fine position from which to rescue +you. (_Laughs._) + +MRS. B. (_angrily to MR. T._). How dare you lock up my brother? + +MRS. T. (_weakly_). Horace, what have you done? + +MR. T. (_in great embarrassment_). There is some mistake; I am most +grieved. However, the fact remains that I caught this young man in the +act of stealthily removing my valuable teapot. + +MRS. B. Alas, my poor brother has spent so much time over his old +antiques that he has lost his mind! + +MR. T. I am ready to apologize to Mr. Dean as soon as he explains +his--rather singular appearance in my house. + +MRS. B. Eric, did Mr. Templeton find you carrying off the teapot? + +DEAN. Yes. + +MRS. B. Have you no regard for your family? Why did you do this thing? + +DEAN. I have nothing to say. + +MRS. B. The poor boy is out of his mind. Leon, we must take him home. + +MRS. T. He is as unfortunate as Hilda. Poor Hilda, gone from her +home----! + +DEAN (_anxiously_). Do I understand that Miss Templeton has already gone +to New York? + +MR. T. We've just found this letter---- + +MRS. T. How did you know? + +DEAN (_quickly_). It was once my good fortune to render Miss Templeton a +slight service, in consequence of which I became aware of her plans. If +you'll excuse me for a moment, I think that I can find her in time to +persuade her from her purpose. + +MRS. T. Then go, by all means! + +MR. B. Eric, do you know what you are doing? + +DEAN. Leave that to me. + + [_Exit, R._ + +MRS. B. The boy is crazy; he has never seen Hilda in his life. + +MR. B. But we couldn't cross him. They say it's dangerous. + +MRS. T. If he brings back Hilda, I'll overlook everything. + +MRS. B. (_haughtily_). Rest assured, Mrs. Templeton, that when my +brother comes to himself, he will make ample apology. + + _Enter DEAN and HILDA, R., the former carrying HILDA'S suit-case._ + +MRS. T. (_embracing HILDA_). My dear child, are you still with us? Where +have you been? + +HILDA (_nervously_). Mr. Dean found me in the summer-house and persuaded +me to come in, mother. I don't want to go away, but I don't want to +marry---- + +MRS. T. There, there, child, say no more. Stay with your mother, and you +shall do exactly as you like. (_Sound of door-bell._) Sue, will you +kindly go to the door? + + [_Exit SUE, R._ + +MRS. B. Oh, Eric, how did you know where to find her? + +DEAN (_to HILDA_). Miss Templeton, will you kindly convince these people +that I am neither a burglar nor a lunatic? + +HILDA. Mr. Dean saved me from that horrid man this evening, and to +reward him I gave him the teapot. He isn't to blame for anything. + + _Enter SUE, R._ + +SUE (_picking up basket_). Mrs. McLaffety's boy has come after this. + +MRS. T. Will you kindly hand it to him, Sue? (_Exit SUE, R., with +basket._) Mr. Dean, we are doubly indebted to you. + +MR. T. (_shaking hands with DEAN_). I apologize most humbly; but you +must admit that appearances were against you. + +MR. B. (_slapping DEAN on the back_). You've certainly distinguished +yourself, old fellow. + +MRS. B. (_embracing DEAN_). And you're not crazy--not the least little +bit? + +DEAN. I hope not. + +MR. T. Mr. Dean, I know that you're a collector and lover of antiques. +In appreciation of your defense and restoration of my daughter, I should +be happy to present you with the teapot, had I not already promised it +to Professor Gates, who is to marry---- Why, it's gone! + + (_Looks frantically for teapot. All look about._) + + _Enter SUE, R._ + +MRS. B. Oh, Eric, you haven't---- + +MR. T. Sue, where have you taken the teapot? + +SUE. I didn't---- (_Noise without. All run to door R._) The burglars! + +MR. T. They've got it after all! + +MR. B. We'll catch them yet. + + _Enter PROF. G., R., hatless, very dusty and disheveled, grasping the + teapot with both hands._ + +PROF. G. I couldn't find Miss Hilda, but I've saved it! (_Sees HILDA._) +Oh--what---- + + (_Collapses into chair. SUE fans him with newspaper. MR. T. seizes + teapot._) + +MR. T. You've rescued the teapot! + +MRS. B. Did you fight with the burglars? + +MRS. T. The poor man has been handled most roughly. + +MR. B. (_grasping MR. T.'s revolver_). Which way did the fellows go? + +PROF. G. (_regaining breath_). No burglar--the McLaffety boy--didn't see +him--collided most forcibly! He spilled his basket; the teapot rolled +out. + +MR. T. Do you mean to tell me that the McLaffety boy was stealing the +teapot? + +PROF. G. He denied the charge. In fact, he was very saucy, quite rude to +say the least; and he ran away before I could restrain him. + +MR. T. Thank heaven you saved the teapot! + +MR. B. We'll have the urchin in the House of Correction. + +HILDA. I put the teapot in the basket. + +ALL (_in surprise_). You? + +HILDA. All my life that teapot has stood for what I detest. I wanted to +be free from traditions and stupid conventions and antiques. I was going +away (_glancing at DEAN_); but I didn't, so the teapot had to. + +MR. T. Well, this is news to me. Professor Gates, I fear that you will +have to take your bride without the teapot. + +PROF. G. (_beaming_). To tell the truth, Sue and I hardly need even so +priceless a gift as the teapot to make our happiness complete. (_Takes_ +Sue's _hand._) + + MR. T. } + MRS. T.} (_in surprise_). Sue? + +SUE. Oh, Algernon! + +MR. B. (_wonderingly_). Say, the Professor can't be a Mormon. + +MRS. B. Leon, hush---- + +MR. T. Why, why, this is---- + +PROF. G. I have already had your consent, Mr. Templeton, so I take this +happy occasion to announce---- + +MR. T. (_recovering himself_). Surely, surely. I had forgotten--the +excitement of the past hour--you understand. We are most happy. + +MRS. T. A most appropriate match; the ages are so suitable. + +MR. B. (_shaking hands with PROF. G._). Professor, please accept my +congratulations. + +DEAN (_doing likewise_). No one has introduced us, Professor, but I wish +you joy. + +MR. T. Hilda, can't you say something? + +HILDA (_kissing SUE_). I am so happy. Aunt Sue, so very, very glad. + +MR. T. I've got to dispose of this teapot; for I can't have my girl +running away again. Mr. Dean, I think that you had better add it to your +collection, as a testimonial of our---- + + (_Holds out teapot_.) + +DEAN (_embarrassed_). Thank you, sir, I greatly appreciate your +generosity; but--the fact is--I'm contemplating disposing of my entire +collection. + +MR. T. Indeed, you surprise me. + +MR. B. Eric, are you crazy? How long have you had that idea in your +head? + +DEAN (_looking at HILDA_). Since I've known Miss Templeton. + +MR. B. (_laughing_). I see. + +MRS. T. I don't understand. + +DEAN. I want nothing that is going to prejudice Miss Hilda against me, +Mrs. Templeton. + +MRS. B. (_embracing HILDA_). Hilda, how perfectly splendid! (_Shyly._) +But mayn't he have the teapot too? + +HILDA. I have no objection to Mr. Dean's having whatever he likes. + +DEAN (_taking HILDA'S hand_). Then I take you at your word, Hilda. I +like you better than any heirloom in the world. What do you say? + +HILDA (_shyly_). I can imagine conditions in which a teapot might be +very useful. + +MR. T. (_putting the teapot into DEAN'S hand_). It looks to me as if the +Templeton teapot was destined to remain in the family. + + (_All laugh._) + + + CURTAIN + + + + +New Publications + + +THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR + +A Comedy in Three Acts + +_By J. Hartley Manners_ + +Eight males, four females. Costumes modern; scenery, two interiors, not +difficult. Well suited for amateur performance. Plays a full evening. +This admirable play, made popular for two seasons by Mr. J. E. Dodson's +striking performance of its leading part, is offered for amateur +performance at a royalty of ten dollars. All the parts are strong and +exceptionally well contrasted. Of especial interest to Hebrew societies +from its able and sympathetic presentment of a man of their race. + +_Price, 50 cents_ + + +CHARACTERS + + _The Cotswold Family_ _The Jacobson Family_ + + SIR JOHN COTSWOLD, _baronet_. SIR ISAAC JACOBSON, M. P. + MARGARET, _his wife_. REBECCA, _his wife_. + ULRICA, _his daughter_. ESTHER, _his daughter_. + CECIL, _his son_. ADRIAN, _his son_. + VINING, _his servant_. MAXIMILIAN, _his servant_. + + CAPT. _the_ HON. CLIVE TREVOR. WALTER LEWIS, _musical agent_. + + +SYNOPSIS + + +ACT I + +SCENE.--Morning room in Sir John Cotswold's house in the Cotswold Park +Estate, Kensington, London. + + +ACT II + +SCENE.--Drawing-room in Sir Isaac Jacobson's house. Next Door. The same +afternoon. + + +ACT III + +SCENE.--Same as Act I. Three days later. + + +MARRYING BELINDA + +A Farce in One Act + +_By Grace Cooke Strong_ + +Four males, four females. Costumes modern; scenery, an easy interior. +Plays thirty minutes. An easy and entertaining little play exactly +suited for amateur acting in schools or elsewhere. Just the sort of +thing half way between farce and comedy that is best liked. Well +recommended. + + _Price, 15 cents_ + + + + +New Plays + + +LOST--A CHAPERON + +A Comedy in Three Acts + +_By Courtney Bruerton and W. S. Maulsby_ + +Six male, nine female characters. Costumes modern; scenery, an interior +and an easy exterior. Plays a full evening. An excellent comedy with the +true college atmosphere but with its scenes away from actual college +life. A breezy lot of college girls in camp lose their chaperon for +twenty-four hours, and are provided by a camp of college boys across the +lake with plenty of excitement. The parts are all good and of almost +equal opportunity, the situations are very funny and the lines full of +laughs. This is sure to be liked by the young people for whom it is +intended, and is strongly recommended for high-school performance. +_Price, 25 cents._ + + +CHARACTERS + + GEORGE HIGGINS, _a Tuft's A. B._ Ernest S. Swenson + + JACK ABBOTT, } _Tuft's sub-freshmen, Stanley M. Brown + FRED LAWTON, } camping with Higgins_ Arthur J. Anderson + + RAYMOND FITZHENRY, _a Harvard student_ Arthur T. Hale + + DICK NORTON,} _off-hill engineers_ Ernest A. Larrabee + TOM CROSBY, } Ferdinand Bryham + + MARJORIE TYNDALL, _George's cousin; a + Smith girl_ Helen J. Martin + + ALICE BENNETT, } Dorothy F. Entwistle + AGNES ARABELLA BATES,} _Jackson girls_ Edith H. Bradford + RUTH FRENCH, } Marjorie L. Henry + BLANCHE WESTCOTT, } Beatrice L. Davis + + MRS. HIGGINS, _the chaperon. George's + mother_ Effie M. Ritchie + + MRS. SPARROW, _a farmer's wife_. (_Not in the original cast._) + + LIZZIE,} _her daughters_. + MANDY, } + + +SYNOPSIS + + ACT I.--The Girls' Camp at Sherwood, 7 A. M. + ACT II.--The Fellows' Camp at Sherwood, 8 A. M. + ACT III.--Same as Act I, 10 A. M. + + +A BRIDE FROM HOME + +A Vaudeville Sketch in One Act + +_By Willis Steell_ + +Two male, two female characters. Costumes modern; scene, an interior. +Plays twenty minutes. A capital sketch of Hebrew life and character, +combining good comedy with genuine pathos. Moves very swiftly and is +very effective. Can be strongly recommended for either vaudeville use or +for amateur theatricals. _Price, 15 cents._ + + + + +Novelties + + +THE VILLAGE POST-OFFICE + +An Entertainment in One Scene + +_By Jessie A. Kelley_ + +Twenty-two males and twenty females are called for, but one person may +take several parts and some characters may be omitted. The stage is +arranged as a country store and post-office in one. Costumes are rural +and funny. Plays a full evening. A side-splitting novelty, full of "good +lines" and comical incident and character. One continuous laugh from +beginning to end. Strongly recommended for church entertainments or +general use; very wholesome and clean. + + _Price, 25 cents_ + + +MISS PRIM'S KINDERGARTEN + +An Entertainment in One Scene + +_By Jessie A. Kelley_ + +Ten males, eleven females. No scenery or curtain needed; costumes +introduce grown people dressed as children. Plays an hour and a half. A +modern, up-to-date version of the popular "District School," full of +laughs and a sure hit with the audience. All the parts very easy except +the Teacher's, and as it is possible for her to use a book, the +entertainment can be got up with exceptional ease and quickness. Can be +recommended. + + _Price, 25 cents_ + + +THE VISIT OF OBADIAH + +A Farce in Two Acts + +_By Eunice Fuller and Margaret C. Lyon_ + +Thirteen females. Costumes modern; scene, an easy interior, the same for +both acts. Plays an hour. A clever and original play, suited for school +or college performance. Full of incident and offers a great variety of +character and great opportunity for pretty dressing. Irish and negro +comedy parts. + + _Price, 25 cents_ + + +A PAN OF FUDGE + +A Comedy in One Act + +_By Maude B. Simes_ + +Six females. Costumes, modern; scene, an easy interior. Plays +twenty-five minutes. A bright little boarding-school sketch, at once +amusing and sympathetic; tone high and quality good. Confidently +recommended to young ladies as an effective piece easy to get up. + + _Price, 15 cents_ + + + _Sent, post-paid, on receipt of price, by_ + + BAKER, 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass. + + + + +New Plays + + +MR. EASYMAN'S NIECE + +A Farcical Comedy in Four Acts + +_By Belle Marshall Locke_ + +Six males, four females. Costumes modern; scenery, two interiors and one +easy exterior that may be played indoors if desired. Plays a full +evening. A clever and vivacious play, full of fun and action. Mr. +Easyman's fad of spiritualism leads him into a difficulty that is a +source of endless amusement to the audience. Irish and old maid comedy +parts. Can be recommended. + + _Price, 25 cents_ + + +CHARACTERS + + MR. STEPHEN EASYMAN, _a wealthy broker_. + MR. CAREW CARLTON, _his nephew_. + MR. TOM ASHLEIGH. + JACKSON, _a servant_. + MICHAEL FLYNN. + MR. SHARPE, _a detective_. + MISS JUDITH CARROLL, _a maiden aunt_. + MRS. EASYMAN, } _her nieces_. + MISS BESSIE CARROLL,} + DESDEMONA, _the ghost_. + + +A PAIR OF BURGLARS + +_By Byron P. Glenn_ + +Two males, two females. One act. Costumes modern; scenery, an easy +interior. Plays half an hour. A brisk little curtain raiser of the +"vaudeville" type, moving all the time. Easy and effective; all the +parts young people and well-dressed. Strongly recommended. + + _Price, 15 cents_ + + +DANE'S DRESS-SUIT CASE + +_By Robert C. V. Meyers_ + +Two males, one female. One act. Costumes modern; scene, an easy +interior. Plays fifteen minutes. An excellent short play to fill out a +bill or to fill in an intermission. All action and lots of fun. All +parts young and well-dressed. + + _Price, 15 cents_ + + + + +A. W. Pinero's Plays + +Price, 50 Cents Each + + +=MID-CHANNEL= Play in Four Acts. Six males, five females. Costumes, +modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays two and a half hours. + +=THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH= Drama in Four Acts. Eight males, five +females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. Plays a full evening. + +=THE PROFLIGATE= Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five females. Scenery, +three interiors, rather elaborate; costumes, modern. Plays a full +evening. + +=THE SCHOOLMISTRESS= Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, seven females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. + +=THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY= Play in Four Acts. Eight males, five +females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full +evening. + +=SWEET LAVENDER= Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four females. Scene, +a single interior, costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. + +=THE THUNDERBOLT= Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, nine females. Scenery, +three interiors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. + +=THE TIMES= Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. Scene, a +single interior; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. + +=THE WEAKER SEX= Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight females. +Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. + +=A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE= Comedy in Three Acts. Five male, four females. +Costumes, modern; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. + + + Sent prepaid on receipt of price by + + Walter H. Baker & Company + + No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts + + + + +Recent Popular Plays + + +=THE AWAKENING= Play in Four Acts. By C. H. CHAMBERS. Four males, six +females. Scenery, not difficult, chiefly interiors; costumes, modern. +Plays a full evening. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=THE FRUITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT= Comedy in Four Acts. By L. TOLSTOI. +Twenty-one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors; +costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Recommended for reading clubs. +=Price, 25 Cents.= + +=HIS EXCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR= Farce in Three Acts. By R. MARSHALL. Ten +males, three females. Costumes, modern; scenery, one interior. Acting +rights reserved. Time, a full evening. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=AN IDEAL HUSBAND= Comedy in Four Acts. By OSCAR WILDE. Nine males, six +females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full +evening. Acting rights reserved. Sold for reading. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST= Farce in Three Acts. By OSCAR WILDE. +Five males, four females. Costumes, modern; scenes, two interiors and an +exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights reserved. =Price, 50 +Cents.= + +=LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN= Comedy in Four Acts. By OSCAR WILDE. Seven +males, nine females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a +full evening. Acting rights reserved. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=NATHAN HALE= Play in Four Acts. By CLYDE FITCH. Fifteen males, four +females. Costumes of the eighteenth century in America. Scenery, four +interiors and two exteriors. Acting rights reserved. Plays a full +evening. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=THE OTHER FELLOW= Comedy in Three Acts. By M. B. HORNE. Six males, four +females. Scenery, two interiors; costumes, modern. Professional stage +rights reserved. Plays a full evening. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=THE TYRANNY OF TEARS= Comedy in Four Acts. By C. H. CHAMBERS. Four +males, three females. Scenery, an interior and an exterior; costumes, +modern. Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. =Price, 50 Cents.= + +=A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE= Comedy in Four Acts. By OSCAR WILDE. Eight +males, seven females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors and an +exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for +reading only. =Price, 50 Cents.= + + + Sent prepaid on receipt of price by + + Walter H. Baker & Company + + No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts + + +S. J. PARKHILL & CO., PRINTERS, BOSTON. + + + + + Transcriber's notes: + + The following is a list of changes made to the original. + The first line is the original line, the second the corrected one. + + HILDA. Don't you know about our teapot? (_Takes teapot from mantle._) + HILDA. Don't you know about our teapot? (_Takes teapot from mantel._) + + PROF. G. (_picking up teapot and replacing it on mantle_). + PROF. G. (_picking up teapot and replacing it on mantel_). + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Templeton Teapot, by Grace Cooke Strong + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42123 *** |