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diff --git a/41779.txt b/41779.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 72c7547..0000000 --- a/41779.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7118 +0,0 @@ - THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR - - - - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost -no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it -under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this -eBook or online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license. - - - -Title: The Human Boy and the War -Author: Eden Phillpotts -Release Date: January 04, 2013 [EBook #41779] -Language: English -Character set encoding: US-ASCII - - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR *** - - - - -Produced by Al Haines. - - - - -[Illustration: Cover] - - - - - THE HUMAN BOY - AND THE WAR - - - BY - - - - New York - THE MACMILLAN COMPANY - 1916 - - _All rights reserved_ - - - - - Copyright 1916 - BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY - - - Set up and electrotyped. Published June, 1916 - Reprinted October, 1916. - - - - - CONTENTS - -The Battle of the Sand-Pit -The Mystery of Fortescue -The Countryman of Kant -Travers Minor, Scout -The Hutchings Testimonial -The Fight -Percy Minimus and His Tommy -The Prize Poem -The Revenge -The "Turbot's" Aunt -Cornwallis and Me and Fate -For the Red Cross -The Last of Mitchell - - - - - THE HUMAN BOY - AND THE WAR - - - - THE BATTLE OF THE SAND-PIT - - -After the war had fairly got going, naturally we thought a good deal -about it, and it was explained to us by Fortescue that, behind the -theory of Germany licking us, or us licking Germany, as the case might -be, there were two great psychical ideas. As I was going to be a soldier -myself, the actual fighting interested me most, but the psychical ideas -were also interesting, because Fortescue said that often the cause won -the battle. Therefore it was better to have a good psychical idea -behind you, like us, than a rotten one, like Germany. I always thought -the best men and the best ships and the best brains and the most money -were simply bound to come out top in the long run; but Fortescue said -that a bad psychical idea behind these things often wrecks the whole -show. And so I asked him if we had got a good psychical idea behind us, -and he said we had a champion one, whereas the Germans were trusting to -a perfectly deadly psychical idea, which was bound to have wrecked them -in any case--even if they'd had twenty million men instead of ten. - -So that was all right, though, no doubt, the Germans think their idea of -being top dog of the whole world is really finer than ours, which is -"Live and let live." And, as I pointed out to Fortescue, no doubt if we -had such a fearfully fine opinion of ourselves as the Germans have, then -we also should want to be top dog of the world. - -And Fortescue said:-- - -"That's just it, Travers major. Thanks to our sane policy of respecting -the rights of all men, and never setting ourselves up as the only nation -that counts, we do count--first and foremost; but if we'd gone out into -the whole earth and bawled that we were going to make it Anglo-Saxon, -then we should have been laughed at, as the Germans are now; and we -should dismally have failed as colonists, just as they have." - -So, of course, I saw all he meant by his psychical idea, and no doubt it -was a jolly fine thought; and most, though not all, of the Sixth saw it -also. But the Fifth saw it less, and the Fourth didn't see it at all. -The Fourth were, in fact, rather an earthy lot about this time, and they -seemed to have a foggy sort of notion that might is right; or, if it -isn't, it generally comes out right, which to the minds of the Fourth -amounted to the same thing. - -The war naturally had a large effect upon us, and according as we looked -at the war, so you could judge of our opinions in general. I and my -brother, Travers minor, and Briggs and Saunders--though Briggs and -Travers minor were themselves in the Lower Fourth--were interested in -the strategy and higher command. We foretold what was going to happen -next, and were sometimes quite right; whereas chaps like Abbott and -Blades and Mitchell and Pegram and Rice were only interested in the -brutal part, and the bloodshed and the grim particulars about the -enemy's trenches after a sortie, and so on. - -In time, curiously enough, there got to be two war parties in the -school. Of course they both wanted England to win, but we took a higher -line about it, and looked on to the end, and argued about the division -of the spoil, and the general improvement of Europe, and the new map, -and the advancement of better ideas, and so on; while Rice and Pegram -and such-like took the "horrible slaughter" line, and rejoiced to hear -of parties surrounded, and Uhlans who had been eating hay for a week -before they were captured, and the decks of battleships just before they -sank, and such-like necessary but very unfortunate things. - -I said to Mitchell-- - -"It may interest you to know that real soldiers never talk about the -hideous side of war; and it would be a good deal more classy if you -chaps tried to understand the meaning of it all, instead of wallowing in -the dreadful details." - -And Mitchell answered-- - -"The details bring it home to us and make us see red." - -And I replied to Mitchell-- - -"What the dickens d'you want to see red for?" - -And he said-- - -"Everybody ought to at a time like this." - -Of course, with such ignorance you can't argue, any more than you could -with Rice, when he swore that he'd give up his home and family gladly in -exchange for the heavenly joy of putting a bayonet through a German -officer. It wasn't the spirit of war, and I told him so, and he called -me "von Travers," and said that as I was going to be a soldier, he -hoped, for the sake of the United Kingdom in general, there would be no -war while I was in command of anybody. - -Gradually there got to be a bit of feeling in the air, and we gave out -that we stood for tactics and strategy and brain-power, and Rice and his -lot gave out that they stood for hacking their way through. And as for -strategy, they had the cheek to say that, if it came to actual battle, -the Fourth would back its strategy against the Sixth every time. It was -a sort of challenge, in fact, and rested chiefly on their complete -ignorance of what strategy really meant. - -When I asked Mitchell who were the strategists of the Fourth, he gave it -away by saying-- - -"Me and Pegram." - -Well, he and Pegram were merely cunning--nothing more. Mitchell was a -good mathematician, and in money matters he excelled on a low plane; -while Pegram was admitted to be a master in the art of cribbing, but no -other. His bent of mind had been attracted to the subject of cribbing -from the first, and while I hated him, and knew that he could never come -to much good, I was bound to admit the stories told about his cribbing -exploits showed great ingenuity combined with nerve. By a bitter irony, -theology was his best subject, but only thanks to the possession of a -Bible one inch square. He had found it when doing Christmas shopping -with his aunt, who was his only relation, owing to his being an orphan, -and when he asked her to buy it for him as one of his Christmas -presents, she did so with pleasure and surprise, little dreaming of what -was passing in his mind. I never saw the book, nor wished to see it, -but Briggs, who did, told me it contained everything, only in such -frightfully small print that you wanted a magnifying glass to read it. -Needless to say, Pegram had the magnifying glass. And, thus armed, he -naturally did Scripture papers second to none. He also manipulated a -catapult for the benefit of his friends in the Lower Fourth, of whom he -had a great many, and with this instrument, such was his delicacy of -aim, he could send answers to questions in an examination through the -air to other chaps, in the shape of paper pillets. He could also hurl -insults in this way, or, in fact, anything. Once he actually fired his -Bible across three rows of forms to Abbott. It flew through the air and -fell at Abbott's feet, who instantly put one on it. But Brown, who was -the master in command on the occasion, looked up at the critical moment -and saw a strange object passing through the air. Only he failed to -mark it down. - -"What was that?" said Brown to Rice, who sat three chaps off Abbott. - -"A moth, I think, sir," said Rice. - -"Extraordinary time for a moth to be flying," said Brown. - -"Very, sir," said Rice. - -"Don't let it occur again, anyway," said Brown, who never investigated -anything, but always ordered that it shouldn't occur again. - -"No, sir," said Rice. - -Then Abbott bent down to scratch his ankle, and all was well. - -And this Pegram was supposed to have strategy as good as ours! - -I never thought a real chance of a conflict would come, but it actually -did in a most unexpected manner just before the holidays. The weather -turned cold for a week, and then, after about three frosts, we had a big -snow, and in about a day and a night there was nearly a foot of it. -And, walking through the West Wood with Blades, I pointed out that the -sand-pit, under the edge of the fir trees, would be a very fine spot for -a battle on a small scale. - -I said-- - -"If one army was above the sand-pit, and another army was down here, -trying to storm the position, there would be an opportunity for a -remarkably good fight and plenty of strategy; and if I led the Fifth and -Sixth against the sand-pit, or if I defended the sand-pit against -attacks by the Upper and Lower Fourth, the result would be very -interesting." - -And Blades agreed with me. He said he believed that it would give the -Upper and Lower Fourth frightful pleasure to have a battle, and he was -certain they would be exceedingly pleased at the idea. In fact, he went -off at once to find Pegram and, if possible, Rice and Mitchell. The -school was taking a walk that afternoon, as the football ground was -eight inches under snow; and some were digging in the snow for eating -chestnuts, of which a good many were to be found in West Wood, and -others were scattered about. So Blades went to find Mitchell, Rice, and -Pegram, and I considered the situation. The edge of the sand-pit was -about eight feet high, and a frontal attack would have been very -difficult, if not impossible; but there was an approach on the left--a -gradual slope, fairly easy--and another on the right, rather difficult, -as it consisted of loose stones and tree roots. On the whole, I thought -I would rather defend than attack; but as, if anything came of it, I -should be the challenger, I felt it would be more sporting to let the -foe choose. - -Then Rice and Mitchell came back with Blades, and they said that nothing -would give them greater pleasure than a fight. They had heard my idea, -and thought exceedingly well of it. They examined the spot and -pretended to consider strategy, but, of course, they knew nothing about -the possibilities of defence and attack. What they really wanted to -know was how many troops they would have, and how many we should. We -counted up and found that in the Fifth and Sixth, leaving out about four -who were useless, and Perkins, who would have been valuable, but was -crocked at footer for the moment, we should number thirty-one, while the -Upper and Lower Fourth would have thirty-eight. I agreed to that, and -Rice made the rather good suggestion that we should each have ten kids -behind the fighting line to make ammunition. And I said I hoped there -would be no stones in the snowballs, and Mitchell said the Fourth didn't -consist of Germans, and I might be sure they would fight as fair as we -did, if not fairer. - -So it was settled for the next Saturday, and Brown and Fortescue -consented to umpire the battle, and Fortescue showed great interest in -it. - -There were a good many preliminaries to decide, and I asked Mitchell -what chap was to be general-in-chief for the Fourth, and, much to my -surprise, he said that Pegram was. And, still more to my surprise, he -said that Pegram wished to attack and not defend. This alone showed how -little they knew about strategy; but I only said "All right," and -Mitchell actually said that Pegram backed the Fourth to take the -sand-pit inside an hour! And I said that pride generally went before a -fall. Then I saw Pegram--which was at a meeting of the -commanders-in-chief--and we arranged all the details. He asked about the -fallen, and I said that nobody would fall; but he said he thought some -very likely would; and he also said that it would be more like the real -thing and more a reward for strategy if, when anybody was fairly bowled -over in the battle and prevented from continuing without a rest, that -that soldier was considered as a casualty and taken to the rear. This -was pretty good for Pegram; but as our superior position on the top of -the sand-pit was bound to make our fire more severe than his, and put -more of his men out of action, I pointed that out. But he said that if -I thought our fire would be more severe than his, I was much mistaken. -He said the volume of his fire would be greater, which was true. So I -let him have his way, and we each selected ten kids for the ammunition. -Travers minor didn't much like fighting against me, but, of course, he -had to, though it was rather typical of Mitchell and Pegram that they -were very suspicious of him before the battle, and wouldn't tell him any -of the strategy, or give him a command in their army, for fear of his -being a traitor. And they felt the same to Briggs, though, of course, -Briggs and Travers minor were really just as keen about victory for the -Fourth as anybody else in it. And the only reason why my brother didn't -like fighting against me was that, with my strategy, he felt pretty sure -I must win. - -The generals--Pegram and I--visited the battlefield twice more, and -arranged where the wounded were to lie and where the umpires were to -stand, in comparative safety behind a tree on the right wing; but, of -course, we didn't discuss tactics or say a word about our battle plans. -The fight was to last one hour, and if at the end of that time we still -held the sand-pit, we were the victors. And for half an hour before the -battle began, we were to make ammunition and pile snow and do what we -liked to increase the chances of victory. - -I, of course, led the Fifth and Sixth, and under me I had Saunders, as -general of the Sixth, and Norris, as general of the Fifth. As for the -enemy, Pegram was generalissimo, to use his own word, and Rice and -Abbott and Mitchell and Blades were his captains. It got jolly -interesting just before the battle, and everybody was frightfully keen, -and the kids who were not doing orderly and red-cross work, were allowed -to stand on a slight hill fifty yards from the sand-pit and watch the -struggle. - -And on the morning of the great day, happening to meet Rice and -Mitchell, I asked them what was the psychical idea behind the attack of -the Fourth; and Rice said his psychical idea was to give the Sixth about -the worst time it had ever had; and Mitchell said his psychical idea was -to make the Sixth wish it had never been born. They meant it, too, for -there was a lot of bitter feeling against us, and I realised that we -were in for a real battle, though there could only be one end, of -course. They had thirty-eight fighters to our thirty-one, and they had -rather the best of the weight and size; but in the Sixth we had Forbes -and Forrester, both of the first eleven and hard chuckers; and we had -three other hard chuckers and first eleven men in the Fifth, besides -Williams, who was the champion long-distance cricket ball thrower in the -school. - -We had all practised a good deal, and also instructed the kids in the -art of making snowballs hard and solid. The general feeling with us was -that we had the brains and the strategy, while the Fourth had rather the -heavier metal, but would not apply it so well as us. When a man fell, -the ambulance, in the shape of two red-cross kids, was to conduct him to -a place safe from fire in the rear; and when he was being taken from the -firing-line, he was not to be fired at, but the battle was to go on, -though the red-cross kids were to be respected. I should like to draw a -diagram of the field, like the diagrams in the newspapers, but that I -cannot do. I can, however, explain that, when the great moment arrived, -I manned the top of the sand-pit with my army, and during the half hour -of preparation threw up a wall of snow all along the front of the -sand-pit nearly three feet high. And along this wall I arranged the -Fifth, led by Norris, on the right wing. Five men, commanded by -Saunders, specially guarded the incline on the left, which was our weak -spot, and the remaining ten men, all from the Sixth, took up a position -five yards to the rear and above the front line, in such a position that -they could drop curtain fire freely over the Fifth. I, being the Grand -Staff, took up a position on the right wing on a small elevation above -the army, from which I could see the battle in every particular; and -Thwaites, of the Sixth, who was too small and weak to be of any use in -the fighting lines, was my adjutant to run messages and take any -necessary orders to the wings. - -As for the enemy, they made no entrenchments or anything of the kind, -though they watched our dispositions with a great deal of interest. -Pegram studied the incline on our wing, and evidently had some ideas -about a frontal attack also, which would certainly mean ruin for him if -he tried it, as it would have been impossible to rush the sand-pit from -the front. They made an enormous amount of ammunition, and as they -piled it within thirty yards of our parapet, they evidently meant to -come to close quarters from the first. I was pleased to observe this. -They arranged their line rather well, in a crescent converging upon our -wings; but there was no rearguard and no reserve, so it was clear -everybody was going into action at once. The officers were -distinguished by wearing white footer shirts, which made them far too -conspicuous objects, and it was clear that Pegram was not going to -regard himself as a Grand Staff, but just fight with the rest. Needless -to say, I was prepared to do the same, and throw myself into the -thickest of it if the battle needed me and things got critical. But I -felt, somehow, from the first that we were impregnable. - -Well, the battle began by Fortescue blowing a referee's football -whistle, and instantly the strategy of the enemy was made apparent. -They opened a terrific fire, and their one idea evidently was to -annihilate the Sixth. They ignored the Fifth, but poured their entire -fire upon the Sixth; and a special firing-party of about six or seven -chosen shots, or sharpshooters, poured their entire fire on me, where I -stood alone. About ten snowballs hit me the moment Fortescue's whistle -went, and the position at once became untenable and also dangerous. So I -retired to the Sixth, and sent word to the Fifth by Thwaites to very -much increase the rapidity of their fire. Which they did; and Pegram -appealed that I was out of action, but Fortescue said I was not. - -It was exceedingly like the Great War in a way, and the Fourth evidently -felt to the Fifth and Sixth what the Germans felt to the French and -English. They merely hated the Fifth, but they fairly loathed the -Sixth, and wanted to put them all out of action in the first five -minutes of the battle. Needless to say, they failed; but we lost -Saunders, who somehow caught it so hot, guarding the slope, that he got -winded and his nose began to bleed at the same moment, which was a -weakness of his, brought on suddenly by a snowball at rather close -range. So he fell, and the red-cross kids took him out of danger. This -infuriated us, and, keeping our nerve well, we concentrated our fire on -Mitchell, who had come far too close after the success with Saunders. A -fair avalanche of snowballs battered him, and he went down; and though -he got up instantly, it was only to fall again. And Fortescue gave him -out, and he was conducted to a ruined cowshed, where the enemy's -ambulance stood in the rear of their lines. - -I had already ordered the Sixth to take open formation and scatter -through the Fifth; and this undoubtedly saved them, for though we lost -my aide-de-camp, Thwaites, who was no fighter and nearly fainted, and -was jolly glad to be numbered with those out of action, for some time -afterwards we lost nobody, and held our own with ease. Once or twice I -took a hand, but it wasn't necessary, and when we fairly settled to -work, we made them see they couldn't live within fifteen yards of us. -They made several rushes, however, but, by a happy strategy, I always -directed our fire on the individual when he came in, and thus got two -out of action, including Rice. He was a great fighter, and I was -surprised he threw up the sponge so soon; but after a regular battering -and blinding, he said he'd "got it in the neck," and fell and was put -out with one eye bunged. Travers minor also fell, rather to my regret; -and what struck me was that, considering all their brag, the Fourth were -not such good plucked ones when it came to the business of real war, as -we were. It made a difference finishing off Rice, for he had fought -well, and his fire was very accurate, as several of us knew to our cost. -I felt now that if we could concentrate on Pegram and Blades, who were -firing magnificently, the battle would be practically over. But Blades, -owing to his great powers, could do execution and still keep out of -range. He was, in fact, their seventeen-inch gun, you might say; and -though Williams on our side could throw further, he proved in action -rather feeble and not a born fighter by any means. As for Pegram, he -always seemed to be behind somebody else, which, knowing his character, -you would have expected. At last, however, he led a storming party to -the slope, and, leaving the bulk of my forces to guard the front, I led -seven to stem his attack. For the first time since the beginning of the -battle, it was hand-to-hand; but we had the advantage of position, and -were never in real danger. I had the great satisfaction of hurling -Pegram over the slope into his own lines, and he fell on his shoulder -and went down and out. He was led away holding his elbow and also -limping; but his loss did not knock the fight out of the Fourth, though -in the same charge they lost Preston and we nearly lost Bassett. But he -got his second wind and was saved to us, though only for a time, for -Blades, who had a private hate of Bassett, came close and scorned the -fire, and got three hard ones in on Bassett from three yards; and -Fortescue had to say Bassett was done. Blades, however, was also done, -and there was a brief armistice while they were taken away. - -We now suddenly concentrated on Mitchell, who was tiring and had got -into range. I think he was fed up with the battle, for, after a feeble -return, he went down when about ten well-directed snowballs took him -simultaneously on the face and chest, and then he chucked it and went to -the ambulance. At the same moment one of their chaps, called -Sutherland, did for Norris. Norris had been getting giddy for some -time, and he also feared that he was frost-bitten, and when Sutherland, -creeping right under him, got him well between the eyes with a hard one, -he was fairly blinded, though very sorry to join our casualties. I had -a touch of cramp at the same moment, but it passed off. - -We'd had about half an hour now, and five of the ammunition kids were -out of action with frozen hands. Then we got one more of the enemy, in -the shape of Sutherland, and their _moral_ ought to have begun to get -bad; but it did not. Though all their leaders were now down, they stuck -it well, while we simply held them with ease, and repelled two more -attempts on the slope. In fact, Williams wanted to go down and make a -sortie, and get a few more out of action; but this I would not permit -for another five minutes, though during those exciting moments we -prepared for the sortie, and knocked out Abbott, who, much to my -surprise, had fought magnificently and covered himself with glory, -though lame. On their side they got MacAndrew, owing to an accident. -In fact, he slipped over the edge of the sand-pit, and was taken -prisoner before he could get back, and we were sorry to lose him, not so -much for his own sake, as because his capture bucked up the Fourth to -make fresh efforts. - -And then came the critical moment of the battle, and a most unexpected -thing happened. - -With victory in our grasp, and a decimated opposition, a frightful -surprise occurred, and the most unsporting thing was done by the Fourth -that you could find in the gory annals of war. - -It was really all over, bar victory, and we were rearranging ourselves -under a very much weakened fire, when we heard a shout in the woods -behind us, and the shout was evidently a signal. For the whole of the -Fourth still in action made one simultaneous rush for the slope, and of -course we concentrated to fling them back. But then, with a wild -shriek, there suddenly burst upon us from the rear the whole of their -casualties! - -Mitchell and Rice and Pegram came first, followed by Travers minor and -Preston and Blades and Sutherland and Abbott. They had rested and -refreshed themselves with two lemons and other commissariat, and then, -taking a circuitous track from behind their ambulance, had got exactly -behind us through the wood. And now, uttering the yells that the -regular Tommies always utter when charging, they were on us with -frightful impetus, just while we were repelling the frontal attack on -the slope, and before we had time to divide to meet them. In fact, they -threw the whole weight of a very fine charge on to us and fairly mowed -us down. There was about a minute of real fighting on the slope, and -blood flowed freely. We got back into the fort, so to say; but the -advancing Fourth came back, too, and the casualties took us in the rear. -Then, unfortunately for us, I was hurled over the sand-pit, and three -chaps--all defenders--came on top of me, and half the snow-bank we had -built came on top of them. With the snowbank gone, it was all up. I -tried fearfully hard to get back, but of course the Fourth had guarded -the slope when they took it, and in about two minutes from the time I -fell out of our ruined fortifications, all was over. In fact, the -Fourth was now on the top of the sand-pit and the shattered Fifth and -Sixth were down below. One by one our men were flung, or fell, over, -and then Fortescue advanced from cover with Brown and blew his whistle, -and the battle was done. - -We appealed; but Pegram said all was fair in war, and Fortescue upheld -him; and in a moment of rage I told Pegram and Mitchell they had behaved -like dirty Germans, and Mitchell said they might, or they might not, but -war was war, anyway. And he also said that the first thing to do in the -case of a battle is to win it. And if you win, then what the losers say -about your manners and tactics doesn't matter a button, because the rest -of civilisation will instantly come over to your side. - -And Blades said the Sixth had still a bit to learn about strategy, -apparently, and Pegram--showing what he was to a beaten foe--offered to -give me some tips! - -Mind you, I'm not pretending we were not beaten, because we were; and -the victors fought quite as well as we did; but I shall always say that, -with another referee than Fortescue, they might have lost on a foul. No -doubt they thought it was magnificent, but it certainly wasn't war--at -least, not what I call war. - -We challenged them to a return battle the next Saturday, and Pegram -said, as a rule, you don't have return battles in warfare, but that he -should be delighted to lick us again, with other strategies, of which he -still had dozens at his disposal. Only Pegram feared the snow would -unfortunately all be gone by next Saturday; and the wretched chap was -quite right--it had. - -Mitchell, by the way, got congestion of his lungs two days after the -battle, showing how sickness always follows warfare sooner or later. -But he recovered without difficulty. - - - - - THE MYSTERY OF FORTESCUE - - -My name is Abbott, and I came to Merivale two years ago. I have got one -leg an inch and three-quarters shorter than the other, but I make -nothing of it. A nurse dropped me on a fender when I was just born, -owing to a mouse suddenly running across her foot. It was more a -misfortune than anything, and my mother forgave her freely. When I was -old enough I also forgave her. In fact, I only mention it to explain -why I am not going into the Army. All Abbotts do so, and it will be -almost a record my going into something else. - -Many chaps have no fighting spirit, and, as a rule, it is not strong in -schoolmasters; yet when the call came for men, three out of our five -answered it and went. Two, who were well up in the Terriers, got -commissions, and the other enlisted, so we were only left with Brown, -who can't see further than a pink-eyed rat and isn't five foot three in -his socks, though in his high-heeled boots he may be, and Fortescue. - -You will say this must have had a pretty bright side for us, and, at -first sight, no doubt it looks hopeful. In fact, we took a very -cheerful view of it, because you can do what you like with Brown, and -Fortescue only teaches the Fifth and Sixth. - -On the day that Hutchings cleared out to join the Army, and we were only -left with Fortescue, Brown, and the Doctor, we were confronted with -serious news. In fact, after chapel on that day, we heard, much to our -anxiety, that old Dunston himself was going to fill the breach. - -Those were his very words. He talked with a sort of ghastly funniness -and used military terms. - -He said-- - -"Now that our valued and honoured friends, Mr. Hutchings, Mr. Manwaring, -and Mr. Meadows have answered their nation's call, with a loyalty to -King and Country inevitable in men who know the demands as well as the -privileges of Empire, it behoves us, as we can and how we can, to fill -their places. This, then, in my contribution to the Great War. I shall -fight in no foreign trenches, but labour here, sleeplessly if need be, -and undertake willingly, proudly, the arduous task that they have left -behind. I shall confront no cannon, but I shall face the Lower School. -Henceforth, after that amalgamation of class and class which will be -necessary, you may count upon your head master to answer the trumpet -call and fill the breach. But I do not disguise from myself that such -labours must prove no sinecure, and I trust the least, as well as the -greatest, to do their part and aid me with good sense and intelligence." - -Well, there it was; and we saw in a moment that you can't escape the -horrors of war, even though you are on an island with the Grand Fleet -between you and the foe. - -When it came to the point, the Doctor was fairly friendly, but there was -always something about him that was awful and solemn and very depressing -to the mind. You could crib easily enough with him, for he had a much -more trustful disposition than Hutchings, or Brown, or Fortescue, and -was also short-sighted at near range; but the general feeling with the -Doctor was a sense of weariness and undoubted relief when it was over. -It was as near like being in church as anything could be. - -Beginning at the beginning of subjects bored him. In fact, he often -found, when he went back to the very start of a lesson, he'd forgotten -it himself, moving for so many years on only the higher walks of -learning; and then, finding that he had forgotten some footling trifle -on the first page of a primer, he became abstracted and lost heart about -it, and seemed more inclined to think than to talk. - -Another very curious habit he had was to start on one thing--say -Latin--and then drift off into something else--say geography. Or he -might begin with algebra and then something would remind him of the -procession of the equinoxes, or the nebula in Orion, and he would soar -from earth and wander among the heavenly bodies until the class was -over. And if he happened to be very much interested himself, he -wouldn't let it be over; and then we had to sit on hearing the Doctor -maundering about double stars, or comets perhaps, while everybody else -was in the playground. - -I think he got rather sick of the Lower School after about a month of -it, and Fortescue took over a good many of the classes in his normal -style, which was more business-like than the Doctor and more punctual in -its working. Fortescue was cold and hadn't much use for us in school or -out, but he was just, and we liked him pretty well until the mystery -began. Then we gradually got to dislike him, and then despise him, and -then hate him. - -He was rather out of the common in a way, being an Honourable and -related to the famous family of Fortescue, which has shone a good deal -in history off and on. And, of course, when the war broke out, we -naturally expected that the Honourable Howard Fortescue would seize the -opportunity to shine also, which he could not do as an undermaster at -Merivale. He was a big, fine man, six feet high, with a red complexion -and a Roman nose. Certainly, he did not play games, but he was all right -in other ways, and had been a lawn-tennis player of the first-class in -past times at Oxford, and, in fact, got his half-blue for playing at -that sport against Cambridge. - -So it seemed to us pretty low down that he didn't join Kitchener's Army. -As a matter of fact, he didn't even try to. He was a very sublime sort -of man and not what you might call friendly to us, yet if anybody -appealed to him in any sort of way, he generally thawed a bit and -responded in quite a kind manner. - -We argued a good deal about him, and Travers major said it was natural -pride, because, being of the family of Fortescue, he knew there was a -gulf fixed between him and us. And Travers did not blame him, and more -did I, or Briggs. But Rice, who is Irish, and who had got sent up on -the report of Fortescue for saying, as he thought, something -disrespectful about the British Army, hated Fortescue with a deadly -hatred. Which was natural, because Fortescue had misunderstood, and -Rice had really said nothing against the Army, but against Protestants, -which, being a Roman Catholic himself, was merely his point of view and -no business of Fortescue's. - -And when Fortescue wouldn't become a soldier, Rice left no stone -unturned, as they say, to worry him about it. At that time Milly -Dunston, the Doctor's youngest daughter, had just come back from a -school where she had been finished, and Rice's sister was at the same -school, so she took notice of Rice. And it soon turned out that Milly -Dunston also hated Fortescue. I believe he had snubbed her in some way -over English literature, at which Fortescue was said to be a flyer, but -Milly Dunston was not. She had, in fact, praised a novel to him, and he -had laughed and told her it was quite worthless, and advised her to read -some novels by people she had never heard of. And then he had slighted -the school where she had finished, and so, when Rice explained that -Fortescue was a coward and preferred the comparative comfort of Merivale -to the manly business of going to Salisbury Plain and living in mud and -becoming useful to the Empire, Milly Dunston quite agreed with Rice, and -said something ought to be done about it. - -We helped because we thought the same. In fact, everybody seemed to be -of one opinion, and little by little Fortescue began to see signs of -great unpopularity growing up against him. - -At first he ignored these signs, being evidently unprepared to take what -you might call a delicate sort of hint. For instance, he smoked a pipe -and kept a Japanese vase on the mantelpiece of his study full of black -crows' feathers, which he was in the habit of picking up on Merivale -Heath, where he often went for lonely walks. With these feathers he -cleaned out the stem of his pipe. - -Well, Milly Dunston bought a white fowl for the Doctor's dinner, and -told the man at the shop to send it without plucking the feathers off. -Which he did do, and she got them and gave them to Rice, who dexterously -took away Fortescue's black feathers and substituted the white ones. -But Fortescue went on just as though he hadn't noticed it, and when -Saunders was with Fortescue, having his special coaching lesson for a -Civil Service exam., he said that Fortescue took a white feather and -cleaned his pipe with it as though quite indifferent to the colour. - -Then Milly Dunston got a ball of knitting wool and four knitting -needles, for all of which she paid herself, and Rice once more did the -necessary strategy and arranged them on Fortescue's desk, where his eyes -would fall upon them on returning to his study. But they merely -disappeared, and Fortescue gave no sign. - -Then Travers major started a very interesting theory on the subject, and -he said there must be some reason far deeper than mere cowardice behind -the mystery of Fortescue. He said that it was impossible for a -Fortescue to be a coward in the common or garden sense of funking -danger, but he admitted that he might be a coward in some other way, -such as not liking discipline, or living in a tent, or wearing -uncomfortable clothes, or getting up early to the sound of a bugle. And -Briggs said that he thought perhaps Fortescue was keeping a widowed -mother and sisters, or an old aunt, or some such person by his exertions -at Merivale, in which case, of course, he couldn't go. But Rice didn't -see why not, even if it was so; and more did I, because the Government -gives full compensation for women relations in general; but Briggs said -I had got it all wrong, and that if Fortescue had an aunt, she wouldn't -gain a penny by his going to the war, however old and poor she was. In -fact, he believed that only a wife who was going to have a baby got -anything at all, owing to the great need for keeping up the race. - -Then Rice said that it didn't make any difference to his deadly feeling -against Fortescue, and he also said that he was going on rubbing it into -Fortescue, and leaving no stone unturned to make his life a burden to -him until he enlisted; and Travers major said that Rice was feeling the -instinct of pure revenge, and Rice said he might be, but that was what -he intended to do. Anyway, he was sure the War Office and Admiralty -didn't care a button about aunts. - -Then we divided into two factions on the subject of Fortescue, and one -faction decided to leave him to his conscience and mind its own -business, which wasn't driving Fortescue to war; while the other side -took the opposite course, and decided to work at Fortescue with the -utmost ingenuity until in sheer despair he was driven to do his duty. -And Briggs and Travers major and Travers minor and Saunders and Hopwood -abandoned the pursuit, so to say; while I and Rice and a chap called -Mitchell, all ably assisted by Milly Dunston, continued in our great -attempt to wake Fortescue to the call of his country and storm his -lines, as Rice said. - -As for Mitchell, he came into it rather curiously, and it shows how an -utter accident will sometimes reveal anybody in their true colours, and -surprise other people, who thought they knew them and yet didn't. -Mitchell was a mere rabbit in character and nothing in learning. And, -in fact, he only had one feature besides his nose, and that was his love -for money. Money, you might say, was his god, and his financial -operations in the matter of loans to the kids were a study in -themselves. But over Fortescue he came out in a most unexpected manner, -and much to our surprise, made up a bit of poetry about him! Which -shows nothing happens but the unexpected, and nobody was more astonished -in a sort of way than Mitchell himself, because he never knew he could -do it. - -How to use the poem to the best purpose was a question that Milly -solved. She typed it by night on her own typewriter, and then directed -Rice, at the first opportunity, to put it on Fortescue's desk when his -study was empty. And he did so, and this is what Fortescue found -awaiting him when he returned: - - "You ask us lots of questions - And we answer if we can, - And now we'll jolly well ask you one. - You call yourself a man, - Then why on earth don't you enlist - And try to do your share - Where the 'Black Marias' bellow - And the shrapnel's in the air? - And if you will not tell us why, - Then we'll tell you instead. - It's just because you funk it - And would hate to be shot dead. - In other words, in fact in one, - Most Honourable Howard, - Though of the race of Fortescue, - You are a bally coward!" - - -We didn't much envy Fortescue his feelings when he read these stirring -lines, and in fact, I, in my hopefulness, believed they would actually -win our object and start Fortescue on the path of duty and rouse him -from his lethargical attitude to the war; but, strange to say, they went -off him like water off a duck's back. Not a muscle moved, so to speak, -or if it did nobody saw it do so. He went on his way for all the world -as if civilisation was not in its death throes. And then Rice--to show -you what Rice still felt about it--offered Mitchell a week's -pocket-money if he would write yet another poem of even a more fiery and -stinging character. And Mitchell gladly agreed, and took enormous -trouble and burnt the midnight oil, as the saying is, and produced -certainly a poem full of rhymes and great abuse of Fortescue, yet not -nearly such a fine poem as the first. And Rice said it wasn't up to the -mark and wouldn't pay for it, and Mitchell said it was a contract and -written on commission and must be paid for by law. But Rice knew no law -and he showed the poem to Travers major, who instantly tore it up and -kicked Mitchell next time he met him and told him he was a dirty little -cad. - -So Mitchell cooled off to Rice, and, in fact, his next poem was actually -about Rice--not written to order, but for pure hate of Rice--and it was -undoubtedly a bitter and powerful poem; but Rice, being far stronger -than Mitchell, made him eat it and swallow it in front of his class, -though it was written in red ink. And Mitchell said if he died, Rice -would be hung. But he felt no ill effects, though he rather hoped he -would. - -At this season, however, a far greater and more splendid poem than any -Mitchell could do had appeared in England. In fact, it was set to music -and England rang with it--also Ireland. At least, so Rice said, because -his mother had told him so in a letter. There was a special mention of -Ireland in it, and Rice's mother told him that it had made more recruits -in Ireland than Mr. Redmond and Sir Edward Carson put together. - -Rice never does anything by halves, and he actually learnt the poem by -heart, and also found out the tune somehow and sang it when possible. -Once, in fact, he woke up in the night singing it from force of habit, -as the saying is, and his prefect, who happened to be Mactaggert, said -there was a time for everything, and threatened to report Rice if he did -it again. - -I asked Rice why he had made such a great effort and learnt anything he -wasn't obliged to learn, and he said, firstly, because it was the -grandest poem he had ever heard, and, secondly, because he had a great -idea some day to sing it to Fortescue, as it applied specially to him by -dwelling on the fearfulness of hanging back when the Empire cried out -for you. - -The poem said the Empire was calling to every one of her sons of low and -high degree, and so, of course, it was also calling to Fortescue; and -Rice thought that as it was pretty certain Fortescue wouldn't read it, -and, no doubt, fought shy of patriotic poetry in general just now, he -meant to wait for some happy opportunity when Fortescue was not in a -position to get out of earshot and sing it to him. - -But the opportunity did not come, so Rice adopted the former plan of -leaving the poem in Fortescue's room. He had plenty of printed copies -of the words, because the poem, after first appearing in a London -newspaper of great renown, had been copied, at the special wish of the -author, into hundreds and thousands of other papers; and to show you the -tremendous liking people had for it, even the _Merivale Weekly Trumpet_ -printed it and Milly Dunston found it there. - -She, by the way, had another pretty bitter cut at Fortescue, which cost -more money, and she told Rice she had paid five shillings and sixpence -for her great insult. In fact, she sent Fortescue a shawl and a cap, -such as is worn by aged women, with red, white, and blue ribbons in it. -Which, of course, meant that Fortescue was an old woman himself. It was -frightfully deadly if you understood it, and Rice said that only a girl -could have thought of such a cruel thing. - -The parcel was sent by post, but once more we were doomed to -disappointment, as they say, for nothing came of it except slight -advantage to the matron in Fortescue's house. In fact, he gave her the -five shilling shawl, but the cap we never saw again, and doubtless it -was burnt to a cinder in Fortescue's fire. - -Then Rice tried the patriotic poem, and so as there should be no mistake -he covered the back of it with paste, and in this manner fastened it -very firmly to the looking-glass, just behind the spot where Fortescue -kept his pipes on the mantelpiece. - -We didn't hope much from it, and expected he would merely scrape it off -and take it lying down in his usual cowardly manner. But imagine our -immense surprise when we found he had sneaked to the Doctor! And even -that was nothing compared to the extraordinary confession that he had -made to the Doctor. And it all came out, and, as Mitchell said, a bolt -from the blue fell on him and me and Rice. - -After stating the facts of the case, which were that Mr. Fortescue had -been from the beginning of the term subject to a great deal of annoyance -from boys, who laboured under the offensive delusion that he ought to go -to the Front, the Doctor said-- - -"It is my honoured friend, Mr. Fortescue's wish that I inform you of the -circumstances which prevent an action which he would have been the first -to take did his physical welfare permit of it. But unhappily he suffers -from an enlarged aorta and it is impossible for him to take his place in -our line of defences, though that impossibility has caused him the -sorrow of his life. It happens, however, that Nature has blessed Mr. -Fortescue with abundant gifts while denying him his health, and in the -pages of that work of reference known as 'Who's Who'--pages that I fear -few among you will ever adorn--may be found the distinguished name of -the Honourable Howard Fortescue in connection with notable achievements. -For Mr. Fortescue is a votary of the Muses. Already he has two volumes -of verse to his credit and three works of fiction; while in a subsequent -edition of the volume, it will doubtless be recorded that he was the -author of a certain admirable poem which has recently stirred the United -Kingdom to its depths and sent more young men to the enlisting stations -than any other inspiration of the time. But it was, it seems, left for -one of my pupils to combine idiocy with insolence and affix a copy of -his own immortal composition to Mr. Fortescue's looking-glass! This was -positively the last straw, and my esteemed colleague who, up to the -present time has allowed his sense of humour to ignore your insufferable -impertinences, felt that it was bad for yourselves to proceed further -upon so perilous a path. Very rightly, therefore, he called my -attention to a persecution I should have thought impossible within these -walls. He has no desire to give me the names of the culprits, and it is -well for them that he has not; but having placed the whole circumstances -in my hands, I cannot permit the outrage to pass without recording my -abhorrence and shame. I may further remind you that Wednesday next is -our half-term whole holiday, and if before that date no private and -abject apology is committed to the hands of Mr. Fortescue by those who -have disgraced themselves and put this affront upon him--if that is not -done, and if I do not hear from him that he is thoroughly satisfied with -the nature of that expression of regret, then there will be no half-term -whole holiday and righteous and guilty alike will suffer." - -Needless to say this tremendous speech made a very great impression on -me and Rice and Mitchell. Milly Dunston did not hear it, but it made a -great impression on her too, when she heard the facts, and we felt, in a -way, that she was a good deal to blame, because she could easily have -looked up "Who's Who," being free of the Doctor's library, which we were -not. - -Of course, there was no difficulty about the apology, which I wrote with -help from Mitchell; but, showing what girls are, though she had invented -most of the things we did to Fortescue, she calmly refused to sign the -apology and said she should apologise personally to him. No doubt she -didn't, and Rice chucked her afterwards. - -Rice was the most cut up. He said he should never feel the same again -after being such a simple beast, and he changed over from hating -Fortescue to thinking him the most wonderful and splendid man in the -world, and far the best poet after Shakespeare. And to show how -frightfully Rice feels things and the rash way he goes on, I can only -tell you that when we signed the apology, he cut himself on his arm, -just above the wrist, and got two drops of blood and signed with them. -And after his name he wrote the grim words "his blood," so that -Fortescue shouldn't think it was merely red ink. - -The apology went like this: - - -We, the undersigned members of the Lower Fourth form of Merivale beg to -express our great regret for having tried to make the Honourable Howard -Fortescue go to the Front. We freely confess we ought not to have done -so and that we were much deluded. We utterly did not know that he had -got an aorta, and we are very sorry that he has, and we hope that he -will soon recover from it. And we beg to say that we think his poem the -best poem we have ever read and also better than Virgil. And we hope -that he will overlook it on this occasion and are willing to do anything -he may decide upon to show the extent of our great regret. - -(Signed) RUPERT MITCHELL, - PATRICK RICE (his blood), - ARTHUR ABBOTT. - - -But nothing came of it. The Honourable Fortescue went on his way quite -unmoved and treated us just as usual, without any sign of forgiveness or -otherwise. And whether he ever reported our names to Dunston or not, we -never knew. But I don't think he did. At any rate, he must have said -the apology was enough; which it certainly was. And the end justified -the means, as they say, because the whole holiday at half-term passed -off as usual. - - - - - THE COUNTRYMAN OF KANT - - -Dr. Dunston had a way of introducing a new chap to the school after -prayers. The natural instinct of a new chap, of course, is to slide in -quietly and slowly settle down, first in his class and then in the -school; but old Dunston doesn't allow this. When a new boy turns up, he -jaws over him, and prophesies about him, and says we shall all like him, -and so on; and if the new chap's father is anybody, which he sometimes -happens to be, then Dunston lets us know it. The result is that he -generally puts everybody off a new chap from the first; but the Fifth -and Sixth allow for this. As Travers major pointed out, it's a rum -instinct of human nature to hate anything you are ordered to like, and -to scoff at anything you are ordered to admire; so, thanks to Travers, -who is frightfully clever in his way, and, in fact, going to Woolwich -next term, we always allowed for the Doctor's great hope about a new -boy, and didn't let it put us off him. As a matter of fact, Dunston -often withdrew the praise afterwards, and we noticed, for some queer -reason, that if a boy had a celebrated father, he always turned out to -be the sort that Dunston hated most; and often and often, when he had to -rag or flog that sort of boy, the Doctor fairly wept to think what the -boy's celebrated father would say if he could see him now. - -When Jacob Wundt came to Merivale, Dunston just went the limit about -him; and it was all the more footling because Wundt grinned, and -evidently highly approved of what was said about him. He was the first -German the Doctor had ever had for a pupil, I believe--anyway, the first -in living memory--so, perhaps, naturally he got a bit above himself -about it; and Wundt got a bit above himself, too. - -"In Jacob Wundt we embrace one from the Hamlet among nations," began Dr. -Dunston. "In Jacob Wundt we welcome the countryman of Kant and -Schiller, the contemporary of Eucken and Harnack! Moreover, Colonel von -Wundt, his esteemed parent, occupies a position of some importance in -the Fatherland, and has done no small part to perfect the magnificent -army that great nation is known to possess." - -Well, we looked at Jacob Wundt, and saw one of the short, fat sort, with -puddingy limbs and yellowish hair close-cropped, and a fighting sort of -head. He looked straight at you, but he never looked at anybody as -though he liked them, and we jolly soon found he didn't. - -As to Dr. Dunston's German heroes, we only knew one name, and that was -Schiller; but as the Fifth and Sixth happened to be swotting "The -Robbers" for an exam., and as "The Robbers" happens to be a ripping good -thing in its way, we were not disinclined to be friendly to Wundt, as -far as the Fifth and Sixth can be friendly to a new boy low in the -school. - -We soon found that Wundt was very un-English in his ideas, also in his -manners and customs. He could talk English well enough to explain what -he meant, and we soon found that he thought a jolly sight too well of -Germany and a jolly sight too badly of England. At first we thought he -had been sent to Merivale to make him larger-minded, so that he could go -back and make other Germans more larger-minded, too. But he said it was -nothing of the kind. He hadn't come to England to learn our ways--which -were beastly, in his opinion--but to get perfect in our language, which -might be useful to him when he became a soldier. - -He was very peculiar, and did things I never knew a boy do before. And -the most remarkable thing he did was always to be looking on ahead to -when he was grown up. Of course, everybody knows they're going to grow -up, and some chaps are even keen about it in a sort of way, but very few -worry about it like Wundt did. I said to him once-- - -"What the dickens are you always wanting time to pass for, so that you -may be grown up? I can tell you it isn't all beer and skittles being a -man. At any rate, I've often heard my father say he wishes he was young -again." - -"He may," answered Wundt. "You've told me your father was an -'International' and a 'Blue,' and no doubt he'd like to excel at -football again. But I despise games, and I've got very good reasons for -wanting to grow up, which are private." - -Of course, he didn't put it in such good English as that, but that was -the sense of it. - -He wasn't what you call a success generally, for he didn't like work, -except history; and he hated our history, and there wasn't much doing at -Merivale in the matter of German history. But he took to English well, -and would always talk it if he could get anybody to listen, which wasn't -often. He said it was all rot about English being a difficult language. -He thought it easy and feeble at best. All his people could speak -it--in fact, everybody in Germany could, when it suited them to do so. - -As for games, he had no use for them; but he was sporting in his own -way. His favourite sport consisted in going out of bounds; and he -showed very decent strategy in doing so, and gave even Norris and Booth -a tip or two. Norris and Booth had made a fair art of trespassing in -private game preserves, at the Manor House and other such places round -about Merivale. In fact, game preserves were just common or garden -Sunday walks to them. But they had been caught by a gamekeeper once and -both flogged; and Wundt showed them how a reverse like that need never -have happened. He could turn his coat inside out, and do other things -of that sort, which were very deceptive even to the trained gamekeeper -eye; and, finding a scarecrow in a turnip field, he took it, and as it -consisted of trousers and coat and an old billycock hat, Wundt was now -in possession of a complete disguise. He hid the things in a secret -haunt, that really belonged to Norris and Booth; and they liked him at -first and helped him a good deal; but finally they quarrelled with him, -because he said England was a swine's hole, and told them that a time -was coming--he hoped not till he grew up--when England would simply be a -Protectorate of Germany, whatever that is. So they invited him to fight -whichever he liked of them, and when he refused, though just the right -weight, they smacked his head and dared him to go to their secret cave -again. - -When they smacked his head, his eyes glittered and he smiled, but -nothing more. He never would fight with fists, because he said only -apes and Englishmen fought with Nature's weapons. But at single-stick -he was exceedingly good, and, in fact, better than anybody in the school -but Forrester. He much wished we could use swords and slash each other's -faces, as he hoped to do when he became a student in his own country, -and he said it was a mean sight to see old Dunston and Brown and -Manwaring and Hutchings and the other masters all without a scratch. He -said in Germany every self-respecting man of the reigning classes was -gashed to the bone; and decent people wouldn't know a man who wasn't, -because he was sure to be a shopkeeper or some low class thing like -that. As to games, he held them in great contempt. It seems people of -any class in Germany only play one game and that's the war -game--_Kriegspiel_, he called it. - -I said: "What the deuce is the good of always playing the war game if -you're not going to war?" - -And he said: "_Ach!_" - -It was a favourite word of his, and he used it in all sorts of ways with -all sorts of expressions. Forbes, who, like me, had a kind of interest -in Wundt that almost amounted to friendship, asked him if women played -the war game, and he said he didn't know what they played except the -piano. All women were worms, in his opinion. Of course, he gassed about -everything German, and said that, from science and art and music to -matchboxes and sausages, his country was first and the rest nowhere. He -joined our school cadet corps eagerly, and became an officer of some -sort in a month; but he was fearfully pitying about it, and said that -English ways of drilling were enough to make a cat laugh, or words to -that effect. After he became an officer, he put on fearful side, though -as just one of the rank and file he'd been quite humble; and then, when -he ordered Saunders, who wasn't an officer, to do something out of drill -hours, and Saunders told him to do it himself, he turned white and -dashed at Saunders, who, of course, licked him on the spot and made his -nose bleed. He was properly mad about that, and said that if it had -happened in Germany, Saunders would have been shot; but as it happened -in England, of course Saunders wasn't. Travers major tried to explain -to Wundt that we weren't real soldiers, and that, when not with the -cadet corps, he was no better than anybody else, but he couldn't see -this. He said that in his country if you were once an officer, you were -always an officer, and that there was a gulf fixed between the men and -their officers; and he called Saunders "cannon fodder" to Batson; and -when Batson told Saunders, Saunders made Wundt carry him on his back up -to the gym., and there licked him again and made his nose bleed once -more, much to his wrath. - -On the whole, owing to his ideas, which he wouldn't keep to himself, -Wundt didn't have too good a time at Merivale. He couldn't understand -us, and said we were slackers and rotters, and that our mercenary army -was no good, and that Germany was the greatest country in the world, and -we'd live to know it--perhaps sooner than we thought. Travers major -tried hard to explain to him how it was, but he couldn't or wouldn't -understand. - -Travers said: "It's like this. Germany takes herself too seriously and -other countries not seriously enough. An Englishman is always saying -his own country is going to the dogs, and his Army's rotten, and his -Navy only a lot of old sardine tins that ought to be scrapped, and all -that sort of thing. That's his way, and when you bally Germans hear us -talk like that, you go and believe it, and don't understand it's our -national character to run ourselves down. And you chaps always go to -the other extreme and brag about your army, and your guns, and your -discipline, and your genius, and all the rest of it; and, of course, we -don't believe you in the least, because gas like that carries its own -reward, and nobody in the world could be so much better than all the -rest of the world as you think you are. And if you imagine, because we -run ourselves down, we would let anybody else dare to run us down, -you're wrong. And if you think our free army is frightened of your -slave army, and would mind taking you on, ten to one, on land or sea, -you're also wrong." - -It was a prophecy in a way, though Travers little knew it, for the war -broke out next holidays, and when we went back to school, it was in full -swing. And so, naturally, was Wundt. He wasn't going home for the vac. -in any case, but stopping at Merivale, and he had done so. He told me -the Doctor had talked some piffle to him about the duties of -non-combatants; but, as Wundt truly said, every German in the world is a -combatant in time of war, and if you can't do one thing, you must try -and do another. In fact, old Dunston little knew the German character, -and when he found it out, he was a good bit astonished, not to say hurt. - -He, however, discovered it jolly quickly, and I did first of all, -because, owing to being rather interested in human nature, I encouraged -Wundt in a sort of way, and let him talk to me, and tried to see things -from his point of view, as far as I could--that is, without doing -anything unsporting to England. The great point was to keep your temper -with Wundt; and, of course, most chaps couldn't, because he was so -beastly sure he was right--at least, his nation was. But I didn't mind -all that humbug, and found, by being patient with him, that, under all -this flare-up, he was what you might call deadly keen on his blessed -Fatherland. He fairly panted with patriotism, and in these moments, -quite ignored my feelings. - -"Now you know why I wanted to grow up," he said to me. "I hoped this -wouldn't have happened till I could be in it. But it will be all over -and your country a thing of the past before I'm sixteen--worse luck!" - -As he was going to be sixteen in October, that was a bit hopeful of -Wundt. His father or somebody had stuffed him up that Germany was being -sat on by the world, and couldn't stand it much longer; and after the -war began, he honestly believed that it was the end of England, and, in -a way, he was more decent than ever he'd been before. When we came back -at the end of the holidays, Wundt welcomed me in a very queer sort of -manner. Somebody had treated me just the same in the past, and, after -trying for a week to think who it was, I remembered it was my Uncle -Samuel, after I'd lost my mother. Wundt evidently felt sorry for all of -us in general and for me in particular as his special friend. - -"Of course," he said, "I can't pretend I didn't want it to happen; but -you won't see it is for the good of the world that your country's got to -go down. And so I'm sorry for you, if anything." - -"Do you really think it has got to go down?" I asked Wundt, and he said -it wasn't so much what he thought as what was bound to take place. - -"Either England's got to go, or else Germany," he said, "and as the -Teuton is the world-power for religion and culture and everything that -really matters, and also miles strongest, England's naturally got to go. -You've had your turn; now it's ours. The Kaiser speaks, Germany listens -and obeys." - -Booth asked him what day the Germans would be at Merivale, and if he'd -got a plan of campaign marked out; and he said about the half-term -holiday, or earlier, they would come. And Booth said that would mean a -short term, anyway, which had its bright side. - -Then Tracey, who is awful sarcastic, though it doesn't generally come -off, asked Wundt how he had arrived at this idea, and Wundt said from -reading papers that his father had sent him via Holland. - -"Your papers are chockful of lies," he said. "If you want the truth, -those of you who can read German can see it in my papers." - -Of course, some of the Sixth could read German, and they borrowed his -papers, and were much surprised that Wundt really believed such absolute -rot against the evidence of our papers. But he was simply blind, and -went so far as to say that he'd sooner believe the pettiest little -German rag than all our swaggerest papers, let alone the _Merivale -Weekly Trumpet_, which was fearfully warlike, because the editor had a -son who was training for the Front. - -But most of all, Wundt hated _Punch_, and, finding this out, we used to -slip the cartoons into his desk, and put them under his pillow, and -arrange them elsewhere where he must find them. These made him fairly -foam at the mouth, and he said he hoped the first thing the Germans -would do, when they got to London, would be to go to _Punch_ and put the -men who drew the pictures and made the jokes to the sword. - -No doubt it was because they were so jolly true. - -The masters were very decent to Wundt, especially Fortescue, who saw how -trying it must be for him, living in an enemy's country; and when Wundt -told me in secret that he felt his position was becoming unbearable, and -that he had written and asked if he could be exchanged for a prisoner, -or something. He said in a gloomy sort of voice: "I may tell you I -haven't wasted my time here, and perhaps some day Doctor Dunston and you -chaps will know it to your cost." - -Well, though friendly enough to Wundt, I didn't much like that, and told -my own special chum, Manwaring, what he'd said; and Manwaring told me -that in his opinion Wundt ought to be neutralised immediately. But I -knew enough of Wundt to feel certain he could never be properly -neutralised, because he had told me that once a German always a German, -and that he'd rather be a dead German than a living King of England, and -that if he had to stop in England for a million years, he'd still be as -German as ever, if not more so. And he'd also fairly shaken with pride -because he'd read somewhere that the Kaiser had said that he would give -any doctor a hundred thousand marks if he would draw every drop of -English blood out of his veins. And when he said it, Tracey had -answered that if the Kaiser came over to England, there were plenty of -doctors who would oblige him for half the money. - -But now I thought, without any unkind feeling to Wundt, that I ought to -tell Travers major, as head of the school, of his dark threats; and I -did; and Travers thanked me and said I was quite right to tell him, -because war is war, and you never know. - -Of course, if Wundt was going to turn out to be a spy, it wasn't -possible for me to be his friend, and I told him so. And he saw that. -He said he was sorry, if anything, to lose my friendship, but he should -always do all that he considered right in the service of his country, -and he couldn't let me stand between him and his duty. Which amounted -to admitting that he was a spy, or, at any rate, was trying to be one; -for, of course, at Merivale a spy was no more use than he would have -been at the North Pole. There was simply nothing to spy about, except -the photographs of new girls on Brown's mantelpiece. - -Then Travers made a move, and he was sorry to do it; but he was going to -be a soldier, just as much as Wundt was, and though he never jawed about -Woolwich like Wundt did about Potsdam, yet he was quite as military at -heart; and though he didn't wear the English colours inside his -waistcoat lining, like Wundt wore the German colours, as he admitted to -me in a friendly moment, yet Travers felt just as keen about England as -Wundt did about Germany, and quite as cast down when we heard about Mons -as Wundt was when he heard about the retreat on the Marne. He -pretended, of course, it was only strategy, but he knew jolly well it -wasn't. - -Then Travers major reluctantly decided that, with a spy, certain things -must be done. He didn't like doing them, but they had to be done. And -the first thing was to prove it. - -"You can only prove a chap is a spy by spying yourself," Travers said, -and well knowing the peculiar skill of Norris and Booth, he told them to -keep a careful lookout on Wundt and report anything suspicious; which -they did do, because it was work to which they were well suited by their -natures, and they soon reported that Wundt went long walks out of -bounds, and evidently avoided people as much as possible. Once they -surprised him making notes, and when he saw Booth coming, he tore them -up. - -Then Travers major did a strong thing, and ordered that the box of Wundt -should be searched. I happened to know that Wundt was very keen to get a -letter off by post, which he said was important, yet hesitated to send -for fear of accidents; and that decided Travers. - -So it was done, quite openly and without subterfuge, as they say, -because we just took the key from Wundt by force and told him we were -going to do it, and then did it. He protested very violently, but the -protest, as Travers said, was not sustained. - -And we found his box contained fearfully incriminating matter, for he -had a one-barrelled breech-loading pistol in it, with a box of -ammunition, of which we had never heard until that moment, and a -complete map on a huge scale of Merivale and the country round. It was -a wonderful map, and how he had made it, and nobody ever seen it, was -extraordinary. At least, so it seemed, till we remembered that he had -been here through the holidays on his own. There were numbers in red -ink all over the map, and remarks carefully written in German; and -though it is impossible to give you any idea of the map, which was -beautifully drawn and about three yards square, if not more, yet I can -reproduce the military remarks upon it, which Travers translated into -English. - -They went like this, and showed in rather a painful way what Wundt -really was at heart. And it showed what Germany was, too; and no doubt -thousands of other Germans all over the United Kingdom had been doing -the same thing, and still are. - -After the first shock of being discovered, I honestly believe he was -pleased to be seen in his true colours, and gloried in his crime. - -These were the notes in cold blood, as you may say:-- - - -1. _A wood. Good cover for guns. In the middle is a spring where a -gamekeeper's wife gets water. It might easily be poisoned._ - -2. _A large number of fields. Some have potatoes in them and some have -turnips._ - -3. _A village with fifty or sixty houses and about two hundred and -thirty-five inhabitants, mostly women and children. Presents no -difficulties._ - -4. _A church with a tower. A very good place for wireless or light -gun. The pews inside would be good for wounded. Cover for infantry in -the churchyard._ - -5. _A stream with one bridge, which might easily be blown up; but it -would not be necessary, as the stream is only six feet across, and you -could easily walk over it. Too small for pontoons. Small fish in it._ - -6. _A large field which was planted with corn, but is now empty. A -good place for aeroplanes to land. Can't find out where corn is gone._ - -7. _A railroad with one line that goes up to main line. Could easily -be destroyed, but might have strategic value._ - -8. _A hill where guns could be placed that would cover advance of -troops on Merivale._ - -9. _The school. This stands on rising ground a mile from the hill, No. -8, and could easily be destroyed by field-guns. Or it could easily be -used as a hospital. It contains a hundred beds, and the chapel could -easily hold a hundred more. There is a garden and a fountain of good -water. Also a well in the house. The playing-field is a quarter of a -mile off. Tents could easily be put up there for troops._ - -10. _A village schoolroom three hundred yards from the church. It has -been turned into a hospital for casualties. There are thirteen or -fourteen nurses of the Red Cross waiting for wounded soldiers to arrive. -They are amateurs, but have passed some sort of examination. The -wounded are said to be coming. This place could easily be shelled from -the hill marked No. 8._ - -11. _A forest full of game, and in the middle of it a park and the -Manor House, belonging to a man called Sir Neville Carew. He has great -wealth, and the mansion could easily be looted, and then either used for -officers or burned down._ - -12. _A farm rich in sheep and cattle and chickens, also turkeys. It -would present no difficulties._ - -13. _The sea. This is distant ten miles from here, and there is an -unfortified bay, which looks deep. We went there for a holiday last -summer, and some of us went out in a boat. I pretended to fish and -tried to take soundings, but regret to report that I failed. However, -the water was quite deep enough for small battle-craft. The cliffs are -red and made of hard rock. There are about twenty fishing-boats, and a -coastguard station on top; but I saw no wireless. There is a -semaphore._ - -14. _A medical doctor's house with a garage. Would present no -difficulties. I saw petrol tins in the yard._ - - -That was all, and Travers at once decided to hand the map and the pistol -and cartridges to Doctor Dunston. - -"I'm very unwilling to do it," he said, "but this is a bit too thick -altogether. It is pure, unadulterated spying of the most blackguard -sort. And if I had anything to do with it, I should fine Wundt every -penny he's got and imprison him for six months and then deport him." - -So he took the evidence of guilt to Dunston, and, of course, Dunston had -the day of his life over them. Some of the masters considered it funny, -and I believe Peacock, who translated the map for Dunston, thought it -was rather fine of Wundt; but old Dunston didn't think it was funny, or -fine, either. He had the whole school in chapel, and hung up the map on -a blackboard, and waved the pistol first in one hand and then the other, -and talked as only he can talk when he's fairly roused by a great -occasion. - -I believe what hurt him most was Wundt saying it would be so jolly easy -to knock out Merivale; and to hear Wundt explaining how the school could -be shelled fairly made old Dunston get on his hind legs. In his great -moments he always quotes Shakespeare, and he did now. He said he wasn't -going to have a serpent sting him twice, anyway. He also said it was -enough to make Kant and Goethe turn in their graves; and, that for all -he could see, they had expended their genius in vain, so far as their -native land was concerned. And then he went on. - -"Needless to say, Jacob Wundt, you are technically expelled. I say -'technically,' because, until I have communicated with your unfortunate -father, it is impossible literally to expel you. To be expelled, a boy -must be expelled from somewhere to somewhere, and for the moment there -is nowhere that I know of to where you can be expelled. But rest -assured that a way shall be found at the earliest opportunity. Indeed, -it may be my duty to hand you over to the military authorities, and, -should that be the case, I shall not hesitate. For the present you are -interned." - -Wundt merely said "_Ach!_" but he said it in such a fearfully -contemptuous tone of voice that the Doctor flogged him then and there; -and Travers major thought Wundt ought not to have been flogged by -rights, but treated as a prisoner of war, or else shot--he didn't seem -to be sure which. - -And as for Wundt, he evidently thought the Belgian atrocities were a -fool to his being flogged; and he got so properly wicked that the Doctor -had him locked up all night, with nothing but bread and water to eat, -and the gardener to guard him. - -Then a good many chaps began to be sorry for Wundt; but their sorrow was -wasted, for the very next day Dunston heard from his father that Wundt -could go home through Holland, with two other German boys who were being -looked after by the American Ambassador, or some such pot in London. So -he went, and after he had gone, Fortescue asked the Doctor if he might -have Wundt's map, as a psychological curiosity, or some such thing, and -Dunston said he had burned the map to cinders, and seemed a good deal -pained with Fortescue for wanting to treasure such an outrage. - -Wundt promised to write to me when he left; but he never did, and, -perhaps, if it's true that German boys of sixteen go to the Front, he -may be there now. And if he is, and if his side wins, and if Wundt is -with the Germans when they come to Merivale, I know the first thing -he'll do will be to slay old Dunston, and the second thing he'll do will -be to slay Saunders. - -But in the meantime, of course, there is a pretty rosy chance he may get -slain himself. Not that he'd mind, if he knew his side was on top and -going to conquer. Only, perish the thought, as they say. - - - - - TRAVERS MINOR, SCOUT - - -Before the fearful war with Germany began, Dr. Dunston was not very keen -about us joining the Boy Scouts on half-holidays. He liked better for -us to play games; and if you didn't play games, he liked you to go out -with Brown to botanize in the hedges. It was a choice of evils to me -and Travers minor, because we hated games and we fairly loathed -botanizing with Brown. Unluckily for us, he was the Forum master of the -Lower Fourth, and so we had more than enough of him in school, without -seeing him pull weeds to pieces on half-holidays and talk about the -wonders of Nature. For that matter, he was about the wonderfullest -wonder of Nature himself, if he'd only known it. - -But after the War began, old Dunston quite changed his attitude to the -Boy Scouts, and, in some ways, that was the best thing that ever -happened for me and Travers minor, though in other ways it was not. - -I'm called Briggs, and Travers minor and I came the same term and -chummed from the first. We had the same opinions about most things, and -agreed about hating games and preferring a more solitary life; but we -were very different in many respects, for Travers minor was going to be -a clergyman, and I had no ideas of that sort, my father being a stock -broker in the "Brighton A" market. Travers minor was more excitable than -Travers major, though quite as keen about England, and after being -divided for some time between the Navy and the Church, he rather -cleverly combined the two professions, and determined to be the chaplain -of a battleship. His enthusiasm for England was very remarkable, and -after a time, though I had never been the least enthusiastic about -England before, yet, owing to the pressure of Travers minor, I got to -be. Nothing like he was, of course. He used to fairly tremble about -England, and once, when an Irish boy, who didn't know Home Rule had been -passed, said he'd just as soon blow his nose on the Union Jack as his -handkerchief--which was rot, seeing he never had one--young Travers flew -at him like a tiger from a bow, and knocked him down and hammered the -back of his head on the floor of the chapel. As soon as he had -recovered from his great surprise, the Irish boy--Rice he was -called--got up and licked Travers minor pretty badly, which he could -easily do, being cock of the Lower School; but, all the same, Rice -respected Travers, for doing what he did, and when he heard that Home -Rule was passed, he said that altered the case, and never cheeked the -English flag again. - -Then Dunston changed towards the Boy Scouts, and said such of us as -liked might join them; and about twenty did. We were allowed to hunt -about in couples on half-holidays; and the rule for a Boy Scout is -always to be on the look-out to justify his existence when scouting, and -to assist people, and help the halt and the lame, and tell people the -way if they want to know it, and buck about generally, and, if possible, -never stop a bit of scouting till he's done a good action of some kind -to somebody. Of course, we had to do our good actions in bounds, and -Travers minor often pointed out, as a rather curious thing, that over -and over again there were chances to do good actions if we'd gone out of -bounds--sometimes even over a hedge into a field. - -But he generally found something useful to do, and I generally didn't. -The good action that occurred oftenest was to give pennies to tramps, -but Travers did not support this. He said: - -"I dare say you've noticed, Briggs, that all these chaps who ask us for -money have got starving families at home. Well, if it's true, they -ought to be at home looking after them. But it isn't true. As a rule, -they spend the money on beer. And when you ask them why they haven't -enlisted, they all say they're too short, or too tall, or haven't got -any back teeth, or something." - -We were scouting the day Travers minor pointed this out, and that was -the very afternoon that we met the best tramp of the lot. I should have -believed him myself and tried to help him; but Travers, strangely -enough, is much kinder to animals and dumb creatures in general than he -is to men, especially tramps, and it took a very clever tramp to make -him believe him. But this one did. - -He was old and grizzled and grey, and his moustache was yellow with -tobacco. He was sitting rolling a cigarette in the hedge, and as we -passed together in uniform with our scout poles, he got up and saluted -us with a military salute. - -"What a bit of luck!" he said. "You're just the chaps I'm on the -look-out for." - -Travers stopped and so did I. - -"D'you want anything, my good man?" said Travers. - -"Yes, I do. I want a sharp Boy Scout to listen to me. I'm telling -secrets, mind you; but you're in the Service just as much as I am, and I -can trust you." - -"What Service?" asked Travers minor. "What Service are you in?" - -"The Secret Service," said the tramp. "I dare say you think I'm only a -badgering old loafer, and not worth the price of the boots on my feet. -Far from it. I'm Sir Baden-Powell's brother! That's why I was glad to -see you boys come along." - -"I don't believe it," said Travers. - -"Quite right not to," answered the old man. "That is, till I explain. -As you know, the country's fairly crawling with German spies at present, -and it takes a pretty good chap to smell them out. That's my game. I've -run down thirty-two during the last month, and I'm on the track of a lot -more; but to keep up my character of an old tramp, I dress like this; -and then they don't suspect me, and I just meet 'em in pubs and stand -'em drinks, and tip 'em a bit of their lingo and pretend I'm German, -too." - -I was a good deal impressed by this, and so was Travers minor. - -"I've been standing drinks to a doubtful customer only this morning, and -spent my last half-crown doing it," went on the great Baden-Powell's -brother. "That's why I stopped you boys. I'm a good way from my base -for the moment, and I shall be obliged if you can lend me half a -sovereign, or whatever you've got on you, till to-morrow. If you let me -have your address, you shall get it by midday; and I'll mention your -names to 'B.-P.' next time we meet." - -Travers minor looked at the spy in a spellbound sort of way. - -"It's a wonderful disguise," he said. - -"Not one of my best, though," answered the man. "I never look the same -two days running. Very likely to-morrow I shall be a smart young -officer; and then, again, I may look like a farmer, or a clergyman, or -anything. It's part of my work to be a master of the art of disguises." - -Travers minor began to whisper to me, and asked me how much money I had. -Then the great spy spoke again. - -"I might give you boys a job next Saturday afternoon, but you'll have to -be pretty smart to do it. I'm taking a German then. I've marked him -down at Little Mudborough--you know, a mile from Merivale--and on -Saturday next, at 'The Wool Pack' public-house, I meet him and arrest -him. I shall want a bit of help, I dare say." - -Travers fairly trembled with excitement after that. Then he felt in his -pocket and found he'd only got a shilling, and this he gave to the spy -without a thought; but I happened to have five shillings by an -extraordinary fluke, it being my birthday, and Brown had changed a -postal order from my mother; so I was not nearly so keen about the spy -as Travers minor. Travers was a good deal relieved to hear I'd got as -much, and even then apologised that we could only produce six bob -between us. - -The spy seemed rather disappointed, and I made a feeble effort to keep -my five shillings by saying: - -"Couldn't you get to the police-station? They'd be sure to have tons of -money there." - -But at the mention of a police-station he showed the utmost annoyance, -combined with contempt. He said: "What's your name?" - -And I said: "Briggs." - -"Well, Briggs," he said, "let me tell you, if there's one thing the -Secret Service hates and despises more than another, it's a -police-station; and if there's one bigger fool on earth than another, -it's a policeman. It would very likely be death to my whole career as a -spy, if I went to a policeman and told him who I was." - -"Don't you ever work with them, Mr. Baden-Powell?" asked Travers; and he -said: - -"Never, if I can help it." - -So he had the six bob, much to my regret, and told us to be at "The Wool -Pack" public-house at Mudborough on the following Saturday afternoon. -He asked what would be the most convenient time for us to be there, and -we said half-past three, and he said "Good!" - -Then Travers asked rather a smart question and said-- - -"How shall we know you?" - -And the spy said: - -"I shall be disguised as a farmer, in gaiters and the sort of clothes -farmers go to market in on Saturdays; and I shall be in the bar with -other men. And one of these men will be a very dangerous German secret -agent, who has a 'wireless' at his house. And when we've got him, we -shall go to his house and destroy the 'wireless.' And now you'd better -be getting on, or people will think it suspicious. And you shall have -your money again next Saturday." - -So we left him, and the six shillings with him, and I was by no means so -pleased and excited about it as Travers minor. Still, I was excited in -a way, and hoped the following Saturday would be glorious; and Travers -said it would undoubtedly be the greatest day we had spent up to that -time. - -We had gone two hundred yards, and were wondering what the German would -look like, and if he'd make a fight, when we were much startled by a man -who suddenly jumped out of the hedge and stopped us. - -It was a policeman in a very excited frame of mind. - -"What did that bloke up the road say to you?" he began; and Travers -minor, remembering what contempt the great spy had for policemen, was -rather haughty. - -"Our conversation was private," he answered, and the policeman seemed -inclined to laugh. - -"I know what your conversation was, very well," he answered. "Soapy -William wouldn't tire himself talking to you kids for fun. Did you give -him any money?" - -In this insolent way the policeman dared to talk of Baden-Powell's -brother! - -"His name is not Soapy William," answered Travers, who had turned red -with anger, "and he's got no use for policemen, anyway." - -"No, you take your dying oath he hasn't," said the policeman. "If he -told you that, he's broke the record and told you the truth. Did you -give him money, or only a fag?' - -"We lent him money for a private purpose, and I'll thank you to let us -pass," said Travers minor. - -But the policeman wouldn't. - -"He's as slippery as an eel," he said, "and I've been waiting to cop him -red-'anded for a fortnight. So now you'd better come and overtake him, -for he's lame and can only crawl along. And when I talk to him, you'll -be surprised." - -"You're utterly wrong," Travers minor told the policeman. "You're quite -on the wrong scent, and if you interfere with that man, you'll very -likely ruin your own career in the Force. He's much more powerful than -you think." - -But the policeman said he'd chance that, and then, in the name of the -law, he made us come and help him. - -It was a most curious experience. When we got there, the spy had -disappeared, and the policeman, knowing that he could only go about one -mile an hour, said he must be hidden somewhere near. - -"And if you chaps are any good as scouts, now's your chance to show it," -he said. - -By this time I began to believe the policeman, for he was a big man and -very positive in his speech; but Travers hated him, and if he'd found -the spy, I believe he would have said nothing. But I found him, or, -rather, I found his boot. He had, no doubt, seen us stopped by the -policeman, and then hastened to evade capture. There was a haystack in -a field, and he had gone to it, and on one side, where it was cut open, -there was a lot of loose hay, and he had concealed himself with the -utmost cunning, all but one boot. This I observed just peeping out from -a litter of loose hay, and not feeling equal to making the capture -myself, I pretended I had not seen the boot, and went off and told the -policeman, who was hunting some distance off, and also eating -blackberries while he hunted. - -He was much pleased and hastened to make the capture; and when he -arrived and he saw the boot, he said: "Hullo, Soapy, old pard! Got you -this time, my boy!" - -Then the hay was cast aside, and the great spy; otherwise known as Soapy -William, rose up. - -It was rather a solemn sight in a way, for he took it pretty calmly, and -said he'd been wanting a fortnight's rest for a long time. - -After the capture, the policeman seemed to lose interest in Travers -minor and me. In fact, he didn't even thank us, but he gave us back our -money, and it was rather interesting to find that Soapy William, besides -our six shillings, had the additional sum of two and sevenpence -halfpenny also. - -Travers minor didn't speak one single word, going back to Merivale, -until we were at the gates; then he said a thing which showed how -fearfully he felt what had happened. - -He said: - -"It makes me feel almost in despair about going into the Church, Briggs, -when there's such wickedness as that about." - -And I said: - -"I should think you would want to go in all the more." - -And afterwards, when we had changed and had tea, and we were in school, -he got calmer and admitted I was right. - -But he took a gloomier view of human nature afterwards, and often, on -scouting days, he said there was more satisfaction in helping a beetle -across a road, or making a snail safe, than there was in trying to be -useful to one's fellow-creatures. - -We had to go and give evidence against Soapy William before a Justice of -the Peace two days later. In fact, it was Sir Neville Carew, who lived -at the Manor House, and he seemed to be very much amused at our -evidence, and almost inclined to let Soapy off. But he gave him a -fortnight, and Soapy said to us as he 'oped we'd let the great -Baden-Powell know how he was being treated; and everybody laughed, -including Brown, who had gone to the court with us. - -But, after that, Dr. Dunston cooled off to the Boy Scouts a lot; and -when the terrific adventure to Travers minor finally occurred, about -three weeks after, Travers major said it was a Nemesis on old Dunston; -and so undoubtedly it was. - -Though not actually in it, I heard all the particulars--in fact, -everybody did, for naturally Dr. Dunston was the most famous person in -Merivale, and when this remarkable thing overtook him, The _Merivale -Weekly Trumpet_ had a column about it, and everybody for miles round -called to see him and say how jolly glad they were it wasn't worse. - -It was a fierce afternoon, with the leaves flying and the rain coming -down in a squally sort of way, and Travers minor and I went for a drill, -and after the drill we scouted a bit on rather a lonely road where -nothing was in the habit of happening. But, as Travers truly said, the -essence of scouting is surprise, and because a road is a lonely and -uneventful sort of road, it doesn't follow something may not happen -unexpectedly upon it. - -He said: - -"No doubt the roads in the valley of the river Aisne, in France, have -been pretty lonely in their time, but think of them last September!" - -So we went, and one motor passed us in two miles; and two dogs poaching -together also passed, and in a field was a sheep which had got on its -back and couldn't get up again, being too fat to do so. We pulled it up. -In another field was a bull, and we tried to attract it, and scouted -down a hedge within fifty yards of it, to see if it was dangerous, and -warn people if it was; and I went to within forty yards of it, being a -good twelve yards from the hedge at the time, but it paid no attention. -Then, just at the end of the road, we came across an old woman sitting -by the roadside in a very ragged and forlorn condition, with a basket of -watercresses and also about twelve mushrooms. - -Thinking she might be lame, or otherwise in difficulties, Travers minor -went up to her and said: - -"Good evening! D'you want anything?" - -And she said: - -"Yes, a plucky lot of things, but none of your cheek." - -"It wasn't meant for cheek. I'm a Scout," said Travers minor. - -And she said: - -"Oh, run along home and ask mother to let out your knickers, else you'll -bust 'em!" - -Travers turned white with indignation, but such was his great idea of -discipline, that he didn't tell her she was a drunken old beast, which -she was, but just marched off. But he was fearfully upset, all the -same, and, instead of pouring out his rage on the horrid old woman, he -poured it out on me. He'd been a bit queer all day, owing to a row with -Brown over a history lesson, in which Travers minor messed up the story -of Charles II; and now, what with one thing and another, he lost his -usual self-control and got very nasty. - -He said scouting with another person was no good--not with me, anyway. - -And I said: - -"What have I done?" - -And he said: - -"You're such a fathead--nothing ever happens when you're about!" - -I told him to keep his temper and not make a silly ass of himself. I -also asked him what he thought was going to happen. I said: - -"We all know you're always ready for anything--from an Uhlan to a -caterpillar--but it seems to me the essence of scouting is to keep wide -awake when nothing is happening, like the fleet in the North Sea. Any -fool can do things; the thing is always to be ready to do them, and not -get your shirt out and lose your nerve because there's nothing to do." - -This good advice fairly settled Travers minor. He undoubtedly lost his -temper, as he admitted afterwards, and he said: - -"When I want you to tell me my business, Briggs, I'll let you know." - -And I said: - -"Your first business is to keep your hair on, whatever happens." - -And he said: - -"Then I'll relieve you of my company, Briggs." - -And, before I could answer, he had got through the hedge and gone off -over a field which ran along a wood. I watched him in silent amazement, -as they say, and he crossed the field and entered the wood and -disappeared. - -This action alone showed what a proper rage he was in, because he had -gone into the Manor Woods, which was not only going out of bounds, but -also trespassing--two things he never did. It was a fearful loss of -nerve, and I stood quite still for a good minute after he vanished. -Then my first idea was to go and lug him back; but discretion was always -the better part of valour with me, and always will be, owing to my -character; so I left Travers to his fate, and hoped he'd soon cool down -and come back without meeting a keeper. It was growing dusk, too, and I -went back to Merivale, and decided not to say anything about Travers -minor, except that, while we were engaged in some scouting operations, I -had missed him. - -I only heard the amazing tale of his adventure afterwards, and though -everybody had the story in some shape or form, I got the naked truth -from Travers minor himself in his own words. Next morning, much to our -surprise, it was given out that Dr. Dunston was unwell, and Fortescue -read prayers; and during that event Travers told me all. - -"When I left you," he said, "I was in a filthy bate, and for once, -instead of not wanting to trespass and break bounds, I did want to. And -I went straight into the Manor Woods, and badly frightened some -pheasants that had gone to roost, and was immediately soothed. They -made a fearful row, and I thought a keeper would be sure to spring up -from somewhere, and rather hoped one would, in order to afford me an -opportunity for an escape. But nothing happened, and I decided to walk -on till I came to the drive, and then boldly go along out of the -lodge-gate. Well, I walked through the wood to the drive just before it -got dark. I was looking out cautiously from the edge of the wood, to -see that all was clear, when I observed a man sitting on the edge of the -drive. For a moment I thought it was that wretched Soapy William again. -He was humped up and nursing his foot which was evidently badly wounded. -Then the man gave a sound between a sigh and a groan and a snuffle, and -I saw it was Dr. Dunston! - -"Of course, it was the moment of my life, and I felt, in a sort of way, -that my whole future career depended upon my next action. My first -instinct, remembering that Norris and Booth were both flogged when -caught here, was a strategic retreat; but then my duty as a Boy Scout -occurred to me. It was a fearful choice of evils, you may say; for if I -cleared out, I was disgraced for ever, and my mind couldn't have stood -it, and if I went forward, I was also disgraced for ever, because to be -flogged, to a chap with my opinions, is about the limit. I considered -what should be done, and while I was considering, old Dunston groaned -again and said out loud: - -"'Tut--tut! This is indeed a tragedy!' - -"That decided me, because the question of humanity came in, and looking -on into the future in rather a remarkable way, I saw at once that if I -retreated and heard next morning that old Dr. Dunston was found dead, I -should feel the pangs of remorse for evermore, and they would ruin my -life. I also felt that, if I saved him, he was hardly likely to flog me, -because there would undoubtedly be a great feeling against him if he -did." - -"You might have done this," I said. "You might have retreated, and then -gone down to the lodge and told the woman that there was an injured man, -in great agony, lying half-way up the drive. You might have given a -false name yourself, and then, when the rescuing party started, you -might have cleared out and so remained anonymous. It would have gone -down to the credit of the Boy Scouts, and old Dunston would have been -the first to see that the particular Boy Scout in question preferred, -for private reasons, to keep his identification a secret." - -Travers was much impressed by this view. - -"I never thought of that," he said. "Probably, if I had, I should have -done it. Anyway, I'm sorry I swore at you and called you a fathead, -Briggs. You're not a fathead--far from it." - -He then continued his surprising narrative in these words: - -"Anyway, I decided to rescue the Doctor, and stepped out of ambush and -said: - -"'Good evening, sir. I'm afraid you're hurt.' - -"He was evidently very glad to see me; but you know his iron discipline. -He kept it up even then. - -"'What boy are you?' he asked, and I told him I was Travers minor from -Merivale. - -"'And how comes it you are here?' he asked again. - -"'I was operating in the woods on my way home, sir, and I heard your cry -of distress.' - -"'We will investigate your operations on another occasion, then,' said -the Doctor. 'For the moment mine are more important. I have had a bad -fall and am in great pain. You had better run as quickly as possible to -the Manor House, ask to see Sir Neville Carew, and tell him that I have -met with a very severe accident half-way down his drive. Whether I have -broken my leg, or put out my ankle, it is not for me to determine. I -have been drinking tea with Sir Neville and learning his views as to the -War. Be as quick as you can. You will never have a better opportunity -to display your agility.' - -"Then I hooked it and ran the half-mile or so to the Manor House, -sprinting all the way. I soon gave the terrible news, and in about ten -minutes Sir Neville Carew himself, with his butler and his footman, set -off for the Doctor. And the footman trundled a chair which ran on -wheels, and which Sir Neville Carew kindly explained to me he uses -himself when he gets an attack of gout, which often happens, -unfortunately. - -"He didn't ask me how I discovered the accident, which was naturally -rather a good thing for me; and when we got back to the Doctor, he told -me to hasten on in advance and break the evil tidings. So I cleared -out. And I've heard no more yet; but no doubt I shall soon." - -That was the great narrative of Travers minor, and after morning school -Brown gave out that the Doctor's ankle was very badly sprained, but that -things would take their course as usual, and a bulletin be put up on the -notice-board in the evening. - -And it was, and it said the Doctor was better. - -Travers minor heard nothing until three days later, when the Doctor -appeared on a crutch and read prayers. Then he had Travers up and -addressed the school. And Travers saw at a glance that Dr. Dunston was -still in no condition to flog him, even if the will was there. - -It ended brilliantly for Travers, really, because the Doctor said he had -been an instrument of Providence, and he evidently felt you ought not to -flog an instrument of Providence, whatever he's been doing. He reproved -Travers minor pretty stiffly, all the same, and said that when he -considered what a friend Sir Neville Carew was to the school, and how -much he overlooked, and so on, it was infamous that any boy should even -glance into his pheasant preserves, much less actually go into them. -And Travers minor was finally ordered to spend a half-holiday in -visiting Sir Neville Carew and humbly apologizing to him for his -conduct. Which he did so, and Sir Neville Carew, on hearing from Travers -that he would never do it again on any pretext whatever, was frightfully -sporting and forgave him freely, and talked about the War, and reminded -him about Sir Baden-Powell's brother, and ended by taking Travers minor -into a glass-house full of luscious peaches and giving him two. - -And Travers kept one for me, because, he said, if it hadn't been for -getting into a wax with me, he would never have trespassed and never -have had the adventure at all. - -And I said it wasn't so much me as that beast of an old woman who told -him his knickers were too tight. - -"In strict honesty," I said, "she ought to have this peach." - -Then I ate it, and never want to eat a better. In fact, I kept the stone -to plant when I went home. - - - - - THE HUTCHINGS TESTIMONIAL - - -Naturally, all Merivale was deeply interested in the adventures of Mr. -Hutchings at the Front of the War. Of the three masters who had -instantly volunteered, only Hutchings had actually gone to the Front, -being a skilled territorial and holding a commission in the Devons; but -the other two, Manwaring and Meadows, had to be content with Kitchener's -Army, because they were ignorant of the subject of warfare and had to -begin at the beginning. Of course, Fortescue would have proudly gone, -as his splendid poems on the war and his general valiant feelings -showed, and we were very sorry we had misunderstood him; but his aorta -being a bit off quite prevented him doing anything except write splendid -poems urging everybody else to go; and no doubt many did go because of -them. As for Brown, he was five feet nothing, or thereabouts, and so he -wasn't wanted, and I believe in secret he thanked God for it, though in -public he said it was the bitterest blow of his life. And Rice, who -doesn't fear Brown, asked him why he didn't join a Ghurka regiment; and -Brown said nothing would have given him greater pleasure, only, -unfortunately, owing to caste, and religion, and one thing and another, -it was out of the question. He appeared to bar the bantam regiment -also, probably not so much as the bantam regiment would have barred him. - -So you may say Merivale only had one man at the positive Front, though -Jenny Dunston, the Doctor's youngest daughter but two, was engaged to a -man in the Welsh Fusiliers, and he was there, and Abbott's father was -also there. They were, of course, nothing to us, though no doubt a good -deal to Jenny Dunston and Abbott's mother; but all our excitement -centred on Hutchings, who was a lieutenant, and was often believed to do -the work of a captain when actually under fire. He occasionally sent a -postcard to Fortescue, saying that all was well, and I believe Fortescue -also got a letter with pieces censored out of it; but he did not show it -to us, though he told Travers minor and Briggs that it was anxious work. -This was when the British Expedition was falling back, much to its -regret. But soon the time came when they got going forward again, and -then Fortescue bucked up and, I believe, wrote his best poetry. In -fact, Fortescue really was a sort of weather-glass of the War, if you -understand me, and chaps in his class said that, after a reverse, you -could do simply anything with him, and he didn't seem to have the -slightest interest in work, and didn't care if you were right or wrong. -And in a way it was equally all right for his class after a victory, for -then he was so hopeful and pleased that he never came down on anybody. -So we hadn't got to read the papers, because, after seeing Fortescue in -the morning, we always knew the general hang of the War. In fact, -Mitchell, who was a cunning student of other people's characters, though -his own was beastly, said that you had only got to look at Fortescue's -neck to know how it was going at the Front. If his head was hanging -over his chest, it was certain the Allies had had a nasty knock; and if -it was just about normal, you knew nothing had happened to matter either -way; and if it was thrown up and straight, and Fortescue's eyes were -bright behind his glasses, then you knew that we had scored, or else the -French or Russians had. Then a little child could lead Fortescue, as -Mitchell said. - -And at last came Hill No. 60, and the fearfully sad news that Hutchings -was dead or wounded; and many of us would have given a week's -pocket-money to know which. Then came the good news under the Roll of -Honour that he was only wounded, and after that, many of us would have -given a week's pocket-money to know where. Presently we heard from Dr. -Dunston that he was in Paris; and then we heard that he was coming to -England and going to the private house of some very sporting rich people -who had turned their mansion into a hospital for wounded officers. - -Then Fortescue heard from Hutchings, and most kindly gave us the -information that he had been wounded in two places--the shoulder and the -calf of the right leg. And we were thankful that it was no worse. - -We were allowed to write to Hutchings, and Barrington, who was head boy -now that Travers major had left, composed a letter, and everybody signed -it. And I hope he liked it. But then came the great idea of a -presentation to Hutchings. I am Blades, and it was my idea, though -afterwards Sutherland and Thwaites claimed it. But I promise you it was -mine, and we had a meeting in chapel one night before prep., at which -Barrington proposed and I seconded the great thought that we should make -a collection of money for a memorial to Hutchings. - -Barrington said: - -"We are met together for a good object, namely, to collect money for a -valuable memorial of his bravery in the War for Mr. Hutchings, or I -should say Lieutenant Hutchings. Everybody here--even his own -class--likes him; and the new boys, who do not know him, would equally -like him if they did. No doubt there will be a very fine medal of Hill -No. 60 struck and presented to our troops who were in that terrific -battle, and no doubt Lieutenant Hutchings will get it; but it often -takes years and years before war medals are struck and presented to the -heroes of a battle, and I have heard that some of the medals from the -Battle of Waterloo are still hanging fire; and many ought to have had -them who died a natural death long before they were sent out. So I -propose that we make a collection for Mr. Hutchings and present him with -a valuable object before he goes back to the War, because, if we leave -it till afterwards, it may be too late." - -And I said: - -"I beg to second the excellent speech we have just heard, and if anybody -is of a different opinion, let him say so." - -It was carried. - -Then Barrington said we must have a committee of management, with a -secretary and treasurer, and it was done. - -The committee consisted of me and Barrington and Sutherland and -Thwaites; and Rice, who would not have been on such an important thing -in the ordinary way, was proposed, because he was enormously popular and -would be able to persuade many to subscribe who would not otherwise do -so without great pressure. That only left the treasurer, and well -knowing Mitchell's financial skill and mastery of arithmetic in general, -I proposed him. Some chaps, who owed Mitchell money, were rather shy of -voting for him; but finally they decided it was better to have him for a -friend than an enemy, and so they voted in his favour. I myself owed -Mitchell three shillings, for which I was paying twopence a week, which -was a fair interest. And personally I always found him honourable, -though firm. - -Anyway, he was made treasurer, and he said the subscription lists must -be posted in a public place, because in these cases people liked to see -their names where other people would also see them, and that publicity -was the backbone of philanthropy. - -We left it with him, as he thoroughly understood that branch of the -testimonial, and meanwhile from time to time the committee met to -consider what ought to be bought. And we differed a good deal on the -subject. I thought, as Hutchings would certainly go back to the War -when he was well, we ought to buy him a complete outfit of comforts, -including blankets, tobacco--of which he was very fond--a Thermos flask, -a wool helmet, day socks, night socks, a mouth-guard to keep out German -stinks, and, in fact, everything to help him through the misery of -warfare, including a filter for drinking water. And Sutherland was -rather inclined to agree with me, but the others were not. - -Thwaites said: - -"My dear Blades, you talk as if you were his grandmother. No doubt he's -got women relations to look after paltry things like that; but a -testimonial rises to a much higher plane, in my opinion. It ought to be -something that will last for ever and not wear out and be forgotten." - -And Rice said: - -"Get the man a revolver." - -And Barrington said: - -"He's got one." - -And Rice said: - -"Of course he has. And if we get him another, then he'd have two, and -that means six less Germans some day, very likely." - -But Barrington didn't approve. - -"We want a testimonial that has nothing to do with actual battle," he -said. "The War won't last for ever, and we ought to buy something -useful, and also ornamental, that Hutchings will be able to employ in -everyday life when all is over. We want something that will catch his -eye a hundred times a day and pleasantly remind him and his family of -his heroic past--and us." - -"An heirloom, in fact," said Thwaites. - -But I argued that practical comforts at the critical moment would be far -better than an heirloom for future use, because if he didn't have the -mouth-guard and filter and so on, he might die; and where would the -heirloom come in then? - -I said: - -"What's the good of knowing you've got a silver ink-pot, or a -tea-kettle, or a cellaret full of whisky at home, when you're perishing -for a wholesome drink on the field?" - -And Barrington said that was petty, and so did Thwaites. They seemed to -think that the remembrance of our testimonial safe at home would carry -Hutchings safely through all the horrors of the campaign. - -It turned out that I had rather touched up Barrington, for he had -actually been thinking about a silver ink-pot, and Thwaites had been -thinking about a cellaret with three bottles of various spirits; but I -told them flatly I didn't agree with them. Then they asked Sutherland -his idea, and he said it wasn't so much what we should like as what -Hutchings would. - -He said: - -"Perhaps a very fine meerschaum pipe, mounted in silver with an -inscription, would do, because there you have a creature comfort of the -first class and also a testimonial which would not wear out. And a pipe -would be far more to Hutchings, either in war or peace, than an ink-pot, -or, in fact, anything of that sort." - -And Rice said: - -"Why not get the man a sword? He could use it in the War, and, if all -went well, he could hang it up in his home afterwards; and if there was -blood on it, then he'd have great additional pleasure every time he -looked at it. And so would his family." - -Barrington rather liked the sword; but he said classy swords were -frightfully expensive, and he doubted whether we should run to it. Then -the committee broke up, to meet again when we found how the -subscriptions came in. - -Unfortunately, this department of the testimonial was very slow. -Mitchell, with great trouble, wrote out a list of the whole school, and -was allowed to put it on the notice-board. Class by class he wrote -it--one hundred and thirty-two boys he wrote--with money columns and a -line leading from each boy to the money column. On it, in large -ornamental letters, Nicholson, who was a dab at printing, put the -words-- - -TESTIMONIAL FUND TO LIEUTENANT -HUTCHINGS, FROM MERIVALE SCHOOL. - -Then we all waited breathlessly for the result in the money column. -There was some delay, because everybody, of course, wrote home on the -subject and mentioned it in the next Sunday's letters; and we pointed -out to the kids that a good and useful thing to write home about, and -something at least to fill two pages, would be the Hutchings -testimonial. Whether they made the appeal or not, of course, none could -tell, but if they did, the response was fearfully feeble. When -questioned, they said that their people at home had done such a -frightful lot for the War already that further cash for Hutchings was -out of the question; while other parents wrote back, not that they had -done much for the War, but that the War had done much for them in a very -unfavourable manner. The result was apparently the same in each case, -and the Lower School, all except Peterson in the Third, responded very -badly to the appeal. He produced ten bob, much to our amazement, and -there was one other ten bob, secured by Abbott through his mother, -because his father was at the Front and still unwounded. As for the -Sixth, who headed the list, we all gave three bob to a man, except -Barrington, who gave five. The Fifth came out at about one and tenpence -a head, which was fair, without being particularly dazzling; but the -Fourth fell away a good deal. And after that there was a hideous array -of blanks. - -Mitchell said it was probably owing to the utter failure of the -dividends of the parents of the Lower School; and as we could not -apparently make bricks without straw, we considered how to tackle the -Lower School. There is no doubt the failure was genuine, for many of -them had even their pocket-money reduced; so Pegram--who had only -subscribed a shilling himself, by the way--proposed that the kids should -be invited to give property instead of cash. - -He said: - -"If they all yield up something they value, we can collect the goods in -a mass and have a sale, and the proceeds of the sale can go to the -Hutchings Testimonial." - -The committee approved of this, excepting Thwaites, who thought nothing -of it; but when asked to give his objections, he merely said: - -"Wait and see." - -Which we did do, and found that Thwaites was wonderfully right, and had -looked on ahead much farther than us. The kids agreed willingly to -subscribe in goods, and were only too delighted to do so; but when it -came to the point, the goods of the kids proved utterly worthless in the -open market. It was a revelation, in a sort of a way, to see the things -the kids valued and honestly thought were worth money. In fact, Preston -said it was pathetic, and Pegram said we had a good foundation for a -rubbish heap, but nothing more. They brought string and screws and -nails, also the glass marbles from a certain make of ginger-beer bottle, -and knives fearfully out of order, and corkscrews, and padlocks without -keys, and a few threadbare story books, and three copies of _Hymns -Ancient and Modern_, and two old horseshoes, and catapults and bullets -and shot and charms. They also brought three steel watch-chains and one -leather one; and Percy Minimus offered a watch-chain made from his -mother's hair, so he said; but nobody bid for it, naturally, for who on -earth wants a watch-chain made out of somebody else's mother's hair? -There was also a bottle imp, fourteen indiarubber balls and seven golf -balls--all worn out--two kids' cricket bats unspliced, three pairs of -tan gloves--new but small--and one pair of wool ones, eight neckties, -not new, and a silk handkerchief, given to Tudor in case he had a cold -in his head, but not required up till now, and therefore new. Among -other items was half a packet of Sanatogen, also from Tudor, a box of -chocolate cigarettes, several conjuring tricks, mostly out of order, and -three guinea-pigs alive. Of other live things were included a white -rat, with pink eyes and a hairless, pinkish tail, and a dormouse, which -Mathers said was hibernating, though Mitchell thought was dead. It -proved alive, on applying warmth, and fetched fivepence. Lastly, there -was a chrysalis, into which a remarkable caterpillar, found by Hastings -on the twenty-first of last September, had turned; and as nobody knew -the species of moth to be presently produced by it, Hastings thought it -worth money, and put a reserve of two-pence on it. But the chrysalis -was long overdue, and so it did not reach the reserve; and so Hastings, -who was still hopeful, bought it back for that sum. As a matter of -fact, it never turned into anything, and was found to be quite hollow -when examined. - -There was a good deal of other trash hardly worth mentioning, and many -lots at the sale did not produce any offer at all, let alone -competition; and the owners of these lots thankfully got them back -again, though, of course, sorry that they commanded no market value. -And some kids were much surprised to find their rubbish had no value at -all in the eyes of the larger world, so to speak. - -One way and another, the sale realized eight shillings and fourpence, -chiefly owing to the generosity of Rice, who gave the absurd sum of two -shillings for the guinea-pigs, which were not even the chrysanthemum -variety of pig, with wild and tousled hair, but just sleek, ordinary -pigs, and known to be far past their prime. One, in fact, had a bald -head. - -The Hutchings Testimonial now stood at four pounds fourteen shillings -and sevenpence; and thanks to a windfall in the shape of five shillings -from Cornwallis, who had a birthday and got a pound for it, we were now -practically up to a fiver. In fact, I myself flung in the fivepence. -But we were far from satisfied, for, as Mitchell with his mathematical -mind pointed out, five pounds spread over one hundred and thirty-two -boys amounts to the rather contemptible smallness of ninepence and -one-eleventh a boy. We raised the question of inviting the masters to -come in, from Dr. Dunston downwards, and some fondly thought that -Dunston would very likely give another five pounds to double ours; but -Barrington said he had reason to fear this would not happen, because, -from rumours dropped between Brown and Fortescue, which he had -accidentally overheard while working in Fortescue's study, he believed -that a good many parents were putting the moratorium in force on the -Doctor; and Fortescue seemed to think that it was quite within human -possibility that the Doctor might put the moratorium in force on him and -Brown, with very grave results to their financial position. But Brown -said the moratorium was over long ago, and could not be revived against -them. - -Then two things of considerable importance happened on the subject of -the Hutchings Testimonial. Firstly, we heard that Hutchings might come -to Merivale for a week or so before returning to his regiment; and, -secondly, Mitchell made a very interesting offer concerning the five -pounds now deposited with him. He said, very truly, that money breeds -money in skilled hands, and that no financier worthy of the name ever -lets his talent lie hid in a napkin, but far from it. He said to the -committee: - -"It's like this. We are now a fortnight from the holidays, and the -holidays will be five weeks long. Five and two are seven, therefore it -follows that for seven weeks this five pounds is doing nothing whatever. -This would be untrue to the science of political economy and banking. -Therefore I propose that I send the five pounds to my father and ask him -to invest it in his business. My father, John Septimus Mitchell, -Esquire, is a member of the Stock Exchange of London, and would, no -doubt, very easily turn our five pounds into six, or even seven, in the -course of seven weeks. This would greatly increase the power of the -committee and the extent of the testimonial for Hutchings. And then, at -the beginning of next term, we shall be able to buy and present the -testimonial in person to Hutchings." - -Well, knowing Mitchell, it was rather a delicate question in a way; but -what he said was sound finance, as Barrington admitted, and Barrington -himself felt thoroughly inclined to trust Mitchell. We went into a sort -of private committee, after Mitchell had gone, and though I and Thwaites -voted against, the majority was in favour of agreeing to the suggestion -of Mitchell. Therefore it was done. - -Then Mitchell sent the five pounds to his father, and gave us the -cheering news that his father had received it and agreed to invest it at -interest; and Mitchell handed Barrington a document from his father to -show all was being rightly managed on the Stock Exchange about it. And -Barrington kept the document carefully, as it was legal, and had a penny -stamp on it. - -We next returned to the question of the testimonial itself, and still -could not agree about it, though we were now able to argue on the basis -of seven pounds instead of five. We had agreed about a sword, but -unfortunately found, on inquiries, that a sword worthy to be called a -presentation sword would cost about fifty pounds, and ought to have -rubies and emeralds in the handle, which was, of course, out of the -question. Many things were suggested, but none, somehow, met the case, -and we fairly kicked ourselves to think that a committee like us were -such a lot of fatheads. And, of course, dozens of the chaps asked us -about it, and were rather surprised we couldn't think of the right -thing. Proposals were showered in, but all to no purpose, and the end -of the term actually arrived without anything being settled. It was -then agreed that we should all think hard about the form of the -testimonial during the holidays, and Barrington hoped that events at the -Front might develop and help us to hit on a happy idea. And we all -hoped so, too. As for Mitchell, he said that he thought very likely -Hutchings would rather have the money than anything else; but that was, -of course, what Mitchell himself would rather have had, though far below -the mind of a patriotic man like Hutchings. And Thwaites said rather -scornfully to Mitchell that no doubt he would rather have money than an -heirloom to hand down to the future generations; and Mitchell said that -he undoubtedly would, because money was out and away the best possible -sort of heirloom, and everybody knew it at heart, even though they might -pretend different. - -Then the holidays took place, and the prizes were decidedly skimpy, -which was a disappointment to those who got them and a comfort to those -who didn't. Nothing of any consequence occurred to me during the -holidays, and I had no idea for Hutchings worth mentioning; and when we -all returned, we found the committee as a whole were in the same -position as before. There were many suggestions made, certainly, but -none that pleased the entire committee. Then a dreadful thing upset the -situation, and for three days the darkness of returning to school was -made darker still by a sensational rumour. Mitchell did not turn up on -the appointed afternoon, and it was whispered that he wasn't coming back -at all! Presently the whisper grew into a regular roar, so to speak, -and Brown announced the tremendous news that Mitchell had left -altogether, and might be going straight into his father's business of -being a stockbroker on the Stock Exchange, London. - -To add to this, Hutchings was now staying at Merivale with the Doctor -for a few days before going back to the War, and he had already heard -about the testimonial, and was undoubtedly in a great state of -excitement about it. His wounds had taken an unexpectedly long time to -heal, but he was now quite ready for renewed activity at the Front, and -was, in fact, going back on the following Friday with other healed, -heroic men. - -Our position had now become extremely grave, and we held a committee -meeting instantly, and Thwaites and I were in the position of the late -Lord Roberts when he clamoured for an army and couldn't get one, because -we had strongly advised that Mitchell should not be allowed to send the -money to his father; but the committee had outvoted us. I was dignified -myself, and did not remind the committee of my views; but Thwaites did, -and there was a good deal of bitterness in the remarks of the committee, -till Barrington reminded us of the legal document which we had preserved -with such care. He said that he was not in the least alarmed, and felt -sure that, whatever Mitchell might be, the father of Mitchell was a man -of honour, and would not risk his position on the Stock Exchange of -London for a paltry seven pounds. - -So we wrote to the address on the legal document, stating the case and -saying politely, but firmly, that we expected the seven pounds by return -of post. We added that we trusted Mitchell's father implicitly, and -that as the matter was very urgent, owing to Mr. Hutchings being just -off again to the Front, we hoped that he would be so good as to give it -his personal attention the moment he received our letter. This we all -signed, to show how many people were interested and that it was a -serious affair. - -For three very trying days we heard nothing, and the school was in a -fair uproar, and the committee got itself very much disliked. Then, -when we had decided to put the matter into the hands of Dr. Dunston, -Mitchell himself wrote to me and sent a cheque signed by his father. -But it was not for seven pounds, I regret to say. In fact, it was not -even for six. His wretched father had merely sent us back our five -pounds with sevenpence added! Mitchell explained that we had received -four per cent. for our money, and that he was sorry nothing better could -be done for the moment, owing to the Stock Exchange being very much -upset by the War. And he asked us for a stamped receipt for the money, -which we sent him in very satirical language, and said that no doubt his -father had made the two pounds himself. And we promised faithfully that -when we grew up and had dealings on the Stock Exchange of London, they -wouldn't be with Mitchell and his father. Barrington, by the way, -wouldn't sign this piece of satire, which was invented by Tracey. All -the same, we sent it, but Mitchell never answered it, and soon -afterwards he turned up again, having merely been ill and not going to -leave at all. Hutchings was going on the following Friday and something -had to be done at once. The committee, which was now fairly sick of the -sight of one another, met again--for the last time, I'm glad to say--and -the question being acute, as Thwaites said, we proposed and seconded -that a master, or two, should be invited to help us with ideas. Then I -thought of something still better, and suggested that we should simply -and straightforwardly go to Hutchings himself and ask him what he most -wanted in the nature of an heirloom that could be got for five pounds -and sevenpence; and everybody gladly seconded this idea, though, of -course, it was not so impressive as making a presentation with a few -dignified words and the whole school present, as we had meant to do. - -However, we went to Hutchings, and he was much pleased, and said it was -ripping of us all, and promised, the morning before he went, to try and -get us a half-holiday as a memory of him. This was good, but still -better was the great ease with which Hutchings decided what he wanted. -He said: - -"I'll tell you what I'll do. On my way through London to Dover I'll buy -a pair of field-glasses, and I'll have inscribed somewhere on them-- - -'To LIEUTENANT T. HUTCHINGS, - FROM MERIVALE SCHOOL.'" - -We agreed gladly to this, and so did everybody, and several chaps, who -had suggested this very thing and been turned down, reminded us -afterwards. - -At any rate, Hutchings got them, and wrote to Barrington, from a -direction he couldn't name, to say he'd got them, inscribed and all, and -that they were splendid glasses, and that we might picture him often -using them on the field, to mark the enemy's position or sweep the sky -for aeroplanes; which was very agreeable to us to hear, and showed all -our trouble was by no means in vain. And, in return, we wrote to -Hutchings and told him we were very pleased to know about the glasses, -and were glad to inform him that we had got the half-holiday, and that -though it unfortunately poured without ceasing all the time, it was -quite successful in every other way. - - - - - THE FIGHT - - -My name is Rice, and there was only one thing I hated about the War, and -even that I had to stop hating, because of England. My first feeling -was the War had come too soon, and that if it had only been four years -later, I should have been there. But, saying this to Tracey, he pointed -out that, from England's point of view, it was lucky the War had come -when it did, because every year was making the Germans stronger, while -we went gaily down the hill reducing our Navy and our Army too. So it -was a jolly good thing the Great War hadn't waited till I went into the -Army. In fact, in four years, by all accounts, there mightn't have been -any army to go into. - -"No doubt you'd have been a host in yourself, Rice," said Tracey in his -comical way, meaning a joke, which I easily saw; "but, all the same, as -we had to fight Germany, the sooner we did it the better." - -So I gave up hating the sad fact of not being there, though it was extra -rough on me, because many people seemed to think it was going to be the -last war on earth; and if that was so, my occupation was gone, and I -might just as well not have been born, except for the simple and rather -tame pleasure of being alive. But what's the good of that, if you're -not going to do anything worth mentioning from the cradle to the grave, -as the saying is? - -As far as mere fighting went, I did all I could at Merivale, and, after -seven regular fights, got to be cock of the Lower School. And in -ordinary times I should have been cock of the whole school; but, -curiously enough, there was one chap of very unusual fighting ability at -Merivale when I was there, and he was rightly regarded as cock of the -school in the science of fighting. - -It happened, also, that he and I were tremendous chums--such chums as -are seldom seen--for we had similar ideas on all subjects and never -differed even on the subject of the boxing art. In fact we only -differed because I was going into the Navy and Sutherland minor was -going into the Law. He had no taste for soldiering, like his brother, -Sutherland major; though great genius for boxing, in which he took after -his father, and as his father was in the law and wanted him to go into -it, he resolved to obey. - -But to me the law seemed a feeble profession, and I often tried to -dissuade him from it. - -Sutherland minor was sixteen and a half and tall; I was fifteen, and -three inches shorter. He had better biceps than me and a longer reach, -and he said I had a better punch than him, but less science. - -After my third fight, he always let me second him in his fights; but he -only had two before this particularly interesting fight I am going to -mention; and one was against Blades, which he won after six rounds by -excellent science and far superior footwork to Blades; and the other was -against a chap called Pengelly, who only came for one term and gave -himself frightful airs because he was a Cornishman. But I shouldn't -think Cornwall had much use for him. - -One day Sutherland said that the Cornish might be very good at catching -pilchards and digging up tin, but they didn't seem much good at -enlisting in Kitchener's Army. And Pengelly said there was a reason for -that, though he refused to tell us what the reason was. Then he got -into a fearful bate, and, little knowing the truth about Sutherland, -challenged him to fight; which, of course Sutherland instantly agreed -to. Pengelly was very big and strong, and if he had been able to hit -Sutherland as often as he wanted to, the fight might have been -interesting, but, having no science whatever, he was useless against -Sutherland. By sheer strength he stuck to it for eight rounds, during -which time he got a fair doing and Sutherland was hardly marked; but -then, though by no means all in, Pengelly realized that he wasn't going -to get a knuckle on Sutherland and so he gave up. - -He wasn't a bad chap really, though rather foolish about Cornwall, and -he even said to me deliberately that a Cornishman was as good as an -Irishman, which showed, if anything, that he was weak in his head. And -after his fight with Sutherland, we asked him again what the reason was -that Cornwall was so slack at enlisting, and he said that the truth was -that half of all Cornish chaps go into the Navy, which, owing to -Cornwall being almost surrounded by sea, they prefer. But whether -that's true, or only a piffling excuse, I don't know. - -Anyway, when it came to counting up the most famous men Cornwall ever -produced, he could only mention Sir Humphry Davy, who invented the -safety-lamp for miners, which was undoubtedly all right in its way, and -"Q," who wrote _Dead Man's Rock_, and was knighted for doing so; and -nobody ever deserved it more. But that was all, whereas, when it came -to Ireland, of course, I could count up thousands of the greatest heroes -in creation, including Mr. Redmond, who has just got Home Rule for us -after fearful obstacles. - -But I never fought Pengelly; there wasn't time. For he only had one term -at Merivale, and then, I believe, went to Canada suddenly, to an uncle -there. - -After that began the curious affair between me and Sutherland. But as -it was remarkable in every way and will never be forgotten by our -families, I may mention them. - -In the first place, Sutherland's mother was a chronical invalid. I said -it must be very difficult to love a person who lived in bed and could -never be any use out of doors, or ride to hounds, or anything; and he -said that it made no difference and that he was accustomed to it, -because his mother had always been an utter crock ever since he knew -her, and even at her best, when she was feeling unusually fit, she only -changed her bed for a sofa in his father's study. Apparently she was -just as keen about him as my mother was about me, and though she didn't -much care to hear about his fights, she tried to understand the beauty -of them like his father did. But naturally this father was more to -Sutherland than the mother could be; because his father had been amateur -middle-weight champion of England in his time, and held the cup for -three years, and had been runner-up twice also. He was, therefore, a -very great boxer and fighter, and Sutherland had been taught by his -father, which accounted for his genius at it and his style, which was -very finished. He would undoubtedly have been a "pro" if he had been in -another walk of life; but as it was, he fully intended to do as well as -his father had done in the amateur boxing world, though, as he was -growing very rapidly and was also a great eater, it looked as if he -would end by being a heavy-weight, which his father never was; though, -as Sutherland told me, his father had beaten a few good heavy-weights in -his time, though he never touched twelve stone in his boxing days. - -Sutherland major, by the way, had just left Merivale when the War broke -out, and he instantly went into the O.T.C.'s and soon became a second -lieutenant and went to France. - -This father of Sutherland was a lawyer, and Sutherland regretted to say -that the War had done him harm as, owing to it apparently, people were -not going to law nearly so much as usual. Still he thought, after the -War, he might find a great improvement. He was a lawyer of the sort -called a barrister, and wore a wig and gown and pleaded for criminals -before the judges and juries on the Western Circuit, often getting them -off when it looked jolly bad for them--so Sutherland said. - -But my father was quite different, being a gentleman at large, and -funnily enough, owing to the War, he made the first money he had ever -made in his life, for he had a great knowledge of horses, and the War -Office, hearing of this, let him go out and choose and buy horses for -it, which he willingly did, and for his trouble he got the enormous sum -of a guinea a day! - -My mother sent me a sovereign of my father's earnings and told me to -keep it and bore a hole in it and put it on my watch-chain, and be proud -of it; but this I did not do, because a sovereign is a sovereign, and I -simply couldn't see a good sovereign wasting its time, so to speak, on -my watch-chain. - -Then one day, walking as usual with Sutherland on the way to a footer -match in which we were both playing, both being in the first "soccer" -team, him at right back and me at right half, we got talking about a -fight I rather hoped to have with Briggs. And Sutherland was trying to -think of a _casus belli_ which, in English, means a reason for the -fight. But, knowing Briggs, he said no _casus belli_ would ever arise; -and I said in that case, if Briggs were willing, we might fight for a -purse, if anybody would subscribe one. - -And then Sutherland reminded me that I should become a "pro," and Briggs -also, if that were done. - -He said: - -"Briggs wouldn't fight just for the sake of fighting, and as you and he -are very good friends, and there's no 'needle' in it, it looks -difficult." - -Then we talked, and then he happened to say--about fighting in general -and weights and so on: - -"You might just as well think of licking him"--speaking of Hutchings, -who had gone to the Front--"as you might of licking me." - -"Of course," I said; "it would be absurd." - -That was the whole conversation, and I forgot it while the match was on, -and, in fact, it didn't come back to me till I went to bed that night; -and then it fairly kept me awake, and I was fearfully sorry I'd said it -would be absurd for me to think of licking Sutherland. In fact I got -sorrier and sorrier, and then I wondered why the dickens Sutherland -thought it was such a mad idea my licking him; and before I went to -sleep I felt, in a way, rather sick with Sutherland for having such a -poor opinion of me. - -In the morning the feeling was still there, and he noticed I was a bit -off and asked me if I was all right, and I said I was. - -But it weighed fearfully, and I fairly got to hate myself in about two -days for having said the idea of my licking Sutherland was absurd. In -fact, the more I thought about it, the less absurd it seemed. I knew he -was heavier and had a longer reach and was older and more scientific; -but he himself had said that I had a fine punch; and if you've got that, -you never know what may happen; and many an unlikely thing has come off -in the ring owing to unexpected smacks landing at the right moment in -the right place. - -After a good deal of hard thinking and going down about four in my form, -which landed me at the bottom, I felt I must speak to Sutherland, or I -should burst. - -So when he asked me, for the thousandth time, what was the matter and if -anybody had scored off me, or anything, I said: - -"Look here, Sutherland, you remember that while going to the footer -match last week, you said I might just as well think of licking you as -of licking Hutchings?" - -And he said: - -"Yes, I remember." - -And I said: - -"I told you it was absurd, didn't I?" - -"You did--naturally," answered Sutherland. - -"Well," I said, "I was wrong--it wasn't in the least natural for me to -say that, and there's nothing absurd about it. It's been on my mind -ever since. And now I see it wasn't absurd." - -"What wasn't absurd?" asked Sutherland. "The idea of your licking -Hutchings, or the idea of your licking me?" - -"The idea of my licking you," I said firmly. - -For a moment Sutherland was quite silent. - -"D'you really think so?" he asked. - -"Yes," I said. "After considering it quietly--in bed and in chapel and -at many other times--I can't see anything absurd about it." - -"In fact, Rice, you think you might have a chance against me?" suggested -Sutherland. - -"I don't say that it would be much of a chance," I told him. "Probably -you'd do me, because you're a lot cleverer and more scientific; but when -I said 'absurd,' I went too far." - -Sutherland considered. - -"You're quite right," he admitted. "You might get over a lucky one. -It's very unlikely, but you might. Therefore there would be nothing -absurd about our fighting, and I oughtn't to have suggested there was. -Somehow I never regarded us as in the same street. But, of course, we -may be." - -"We're not," I said. "As for boxing on points we're not. But fighting -is different and--there you are." - -He nodded. - -"If you feel like that," he said, "of course----" - -"I never did feel like that; in fact I never thought of it before," I -told Sutherland; "but now----" - -He didn't say anything, so I went on: - -"It's a matter of honour in a way," I said. - -"From your point of view it is, no doubt," he answered. - -"Isn't it from yours?" I asked him. - -"Not exactly," he explained. "We're very good friends--in fact more -than just common or garden friends--and I never thought of fighting you, -regarding you as cock of the Lower School and not supposing the question -would ever arise between us, as I shall probably leave Merivale before -you get into the Upper School--if ever you do. Still, as you feel your -honour makes you want to fight me, you must, of course." - -"There's no _casus belli_ otherwise," I said, and Sutherland answered -that honour was the best _casus belli_ possible. He said: - -"Of course, if you honestly feel that I have wounded your honour, Rice, -we must fight." - -And I said: - -"You haven't wounded it exactly. In fact I don't know what the dickens -you have done. But you've done something, and though you're my chum and -I hope you always will be for evermore, yet I don't believe I shall get -over this feeling, or, in fact, be any more good in the world till we've -fought." - -"As a matter of fact," said Sutherland, "you've wounded your honour -yourself, by thoughtlessly agreeing to my suggestion that you couldn't -lick me. Still, whatever has done it, the result is the same, I'm -afraid." - -"I'm afraid it is," I said. - -I suppose no two chaps ever arranged a thing of this sort in a more -regretful frame of mind, for we had always been peculiarly friendly, and -the idea of ever fighting had never occurred to us; but it was just that -fatal remark of Sutherland, showing his point of view, and showing me, -with only too dreadful clearness, his opinion of me as compared with -him. And the queerest thing of all was that I quite agreed with him -really, only there was a feeling in me I couldn't possibly let it go at -that; and, of course, there was also a secret hope that, after all, -Sutherland and I might both be mistaken about his being such a mighty -lot better than I was. - -So we agreed to fight on the following Saturday afternoon, as there was -only a second eleven match on our own ground, and we should have leisure -to go into the wood close by, where these affairs were settled. - -Needless to say, the world at large was fearfully surprised when it -heard we were going to fight. We still pottered about together in our -usual friendly way, and when we were asked, as of course we were, what -we were fighting for, it was more than I could do to explain, or -Sutherland either. Travers major understood the truth of the situation, -and I think Thwaites did, and possibly Preston; but to have tried to -explain to anybody else the frightfully peculiar situation would have -been impossible, for they hadn't the minds to understand it. So we just -said in a general sort of way, we were still chums, but felt such a -tremendous interest in the question of which was the greatest fighter, -that we were going to find out in the most friendly spirit possible. - -Of course, being easily the two best in the school, the sensation was -huge, but the general opinion seemed to be that I must be mad to think -of beating Sutherland, and I never argued much about it, and said very -likely I was, but that I hated uncertainty in a thing like that. - -Pegram said: - -"It will be your Sedan, Rice," meaning that I should be treated by -Sutherland like the French were treated by the Germans on that occasion. - -But I did not think so. I said: - -"Most likely I shall be licked and badly licked, which is nothing -against such a man as Sutherland; but it won't be my Sedan by long -chalks, because we've agreed whichever wins it will make no difference." - -"Certainly there will be no indemnity," said Pegram, "as you're both far -too hard up for any such thing; but you needn't think the beaten one -will ever feel the same again to the winner; because human nature is all -against it." - -"Your human nature may be," I said to Pegram, who was a foxy chap, great -at strategy, but otherwise mean. "Your human nature may be like that, -but mine and Sutherland's is not." - -All the same, I had Pegram to second me, because he is full of cunning, -and I also had Travers minor; and Sutherland had Abbott, who is a very -fine second, and would be a fine boxer, too, but for a short leg on one -side. - -Williams was his other second, and Travers major consented to be -referee. - -Fighting was not allowed at Merivale, but Travers, though head of the -school, and never known to break any other rule, supported fair -fighting, because he believed it was good; and he also believed that the -Doctor did not really much dislike it, though no doubt to parents he had -to say he did. Brown, however, hated fighting, and as he was master in -charge on the appointed day, we had to exercise precautions and keep the -fight as quiet as possible. - -Though favourable to fighting as a rule, Travers never cared much about -my fight with Sutherland and even tried to make us change our minds. -But he had no reasons that we thought good enough, or rather, that I -thought good enough; because of course I was the challenger and -Sutherland had no choice but to agree. - -It turned out that Sutherland was rather glad of the fight, because it -distracted his mind from sadness. A fortnight before, he had been home -from Saturday till Monday, to see his mother, who was worse, because his -brother Tom, or Sutherland major, was in the trenches; and his father -had been very gloomy about it, so the fight served to cheer him up, and -brighten his spirits, which was one good thing it did. - -Then the eventful day arrived, and the fortunate chaps who knew that -this was the appointed time, looked at me with awe; and as we were -getting up in our dormitory, Percy Minimus whispered to me: - -"You'll look a very different spectacle to-night from what you do now, -Rice." - -The morning seemed long and I jolly near messed up the whole thing and -had a squeak of being kept in for the half-holiday, but I escaped, and -at last the time came when the footer match was in full swing and Brown, -with a lot of kids, watching it. - -Then, one by one, about fifteen of us strolled off, including Sutherland -and me and our seconds and Travers major and Preston and Blades and -Saunders and Perkinson and Ash, and Percy Minimus, who liked the sight -of blood, if it wasn't his own. - -No time was lost, and a ring was made with a bit of rope while -Sutherland and I prepared. They were two minute rounds, and Ash kept -the time. - -No two chaps ever shook hands in a more friendly spirit, and as to the -fight itself, as I cannot relate it, I may copy the notes that Blades -took. He missed a good many delicate things that we did, but the -general description, though not at all in regular sporting language, -gives a fair idea of how it went. He wrote these words: - -_Round_ 1.--Sutherland seemed thoughtful and not so much interested as -Rice. Rice advanced and dodged about and struck out into the air -several times and danced on his feet; and once he would have hit -Sutherland; but Sutherland ducked his head under the blow, and before -Rice could recover, hit him with both fists on the body. Rice laughed -and Sutherland smiled. They were dancing about doing nothing when Ash -called time, and they rested, and their seconds wiped their faces and -Rice blew his nose with his fingers. - -_Round_ 2.--Now Sutherland began to hit Rice a good deal oftener than -Rice hit him. But, in the middle of the round, Rice got in a very fine -blow on Sutherland's face and knocked him down. Sutherland instantly -rose bleeding, but by no means troubled. He praised Rice and said it -was a beauty. And Rice said, "Don't patronize me, Sutherland," but -Sutherland did not answer. For the rest of the round Sutherland hit -Rice several times, but didn't make him bleed. It was a good round and -both were panting at the end. - -_Round_ 3.--Sutherland wouldn't let Rice get near enough to hit him and -kept catching Rice's attempts on his arms. And his arms being longer -than Rice's, he could land on Rice without being hit back. He did not -hit so hard as Rice, but he hit Rice, whereas Rice hit the air. Still -Rice got in a very good one just in the middle of Sutherland's body, -which doubled up Sutherland, and before he could undouble again, Rice -had hit him very hard on the face with an upper cut. Sutherland fairly -poured with blood, but was quite cool and showed no signs of not liking -it. He got in a very good blow with his left on Rice's neck before Ash -called time. - -_Round_ 4.--It was certainly a very fine fight of much higher class than -we had ever seen before at Merivale. This round was the fiercest up to -now, and Travers major had to caution Rice for being inclined to use his -head. Still he fought very finely, but it worried him fearfully to be -hit so often without getting one back. The hits were not heavy hits to -the spectator, but they must have been harder than they looked, because -Rice, who has black hair and a very pale skin by nature, was now getting -a mottled sort of skin. In this round they were rather slower than -before, and stood and panted a good deal, and while they panted, they -looked at one another with a sort of doleful cheerfulness from time to -time. But there was also fierce fighting, and Sutherland at last drew -blood from Rice with a blow on the nose. At the sight of his blood, -Rice gave a great display and kept Sutherland moving about, and at last -hit him backwards out of the ring. But Sutherland instantly returned -and went on fighting till the end of the round. It was a splendid round -in every way. - -_Round_ 5.---Both were now rather tired, and in this round they took it -easy. - -But at taking it easy Sutherland was much better than Rice and did not -waste so much energy in feinting. He had the best of this round and hit -Rice twice or three times on the face. At the end he fairly knocked -Rice down, and when Ash said "Time," Pegram and Travers minor rushed to -pick up Rice and carry him to his corner; but he rose and walked. - -_Round_ 6.--This looked as though it was going to be the last, for -Sutherland was now fresher than Rice and evidently stronger. Rice began -the round well, but soon fell away, and Sutherland hit him several -times, and once over the right eyebrow and cut him, and evidently did -that eye no good. Rice made ferocious dashes and Sutherland got away -from them; and then, while Rice was resting, Sutherland dashed in and -Rice didn't get away. Sutherland hit Rice on the chest and knocked him -down, and it looked as though he wasn't going to get up again; but he -did, and still had good strength. He was being licked, but slowly. At -the end of the round he got one good one in, though it was lucky. - -I must here break off the account of the fight by Blades to describe a -most amazing thing which made this fight far unlike any other that I or -Sutherland had ever fought. After the sixth round we were being mopped -up and Pegram was advising me to chuck it, and I was saying, in a -gasping sort of way, I should try to stick a few more rounds and hope -for a bit of luck, when, to our great horror, there suddenly appeared -from the trees Brown and a man clad in black. At first we thought it -was a policeman, and that Brown had heard of the fight and had called a -constable to take us up; but it turned out that Brown hadn't heard of -the fight, and the man in black was none other than the father of -Sutherland, the famous middle-weight of other days! - -He had called to see Sutherland, and had been sent to the playing field; -and there he had been met by Brown. And Brown, guessing that the big -chaps were in the wood, had brought Sutherland's father actually to the -ring side! - -Brown, of course, was furious and wanted to stop the fight and take down -all our names; but the famous middle-weight would not hear of this. The -moment he found that Sutherland was fighting, a wave of animation went -over him and he begged Brown as a personal favour to let us finish. He -even promised to put it all right with the Doctor if anything was said, -which showed his fighting qualities were still there. Brown, of course, -curled up; but his little eyes blazed, and he said that Sutherland's -father must take the responsibility, which he gladly undertook to do. -Then Brown, giving us a look which told without words what would happen -when Sutherland's father was gone, went back to the kids. - -In the meantime, I and Sutherland had a fine rest, and after that we -went on again. I wished much that his father had seen the whole fight, -because I knew now, only too well, that Sutherland had got me and that, -of course, with his father there, he'd buck up and do something out of -the common; and I deeply wished my father were there, and not far away -buying horses at a guinea a day in Ireland. But I hoped now, with this -good rest, to last at least two more rounds. - -I may now go on with the description of Blades. - -_Round_ 7.--Much refreshed by about six minutes' rest, Rice and -Sutherland began again, and Sutherland's father watched the fight with a -calm and sporting interest. He was a clean-shaved man of large size -about the shoulders; but he had a pale, sad-looking face and very thin -lips, and one ear larger than the other. Sutherland had to withstand a -wild rush from Rice and hit Rice while he backed away from him, which -pleased his father. But Rice was not stopped, and he got close to -Sutherland and hit him very hard on the body until they fell into each -other's arms. And Sutherland's father said, "Break! Break!" and then -apologized to Travers major, who was referee. They parted, and Rice, -evidently much refreshed, went after Sutherland and hit him about three -or four times; then Sutherland hit him once. Then it was time. - -_Round_ 8.--Sutherland's father certainly seemed to have brought -Sutherland bad luck, for in the next round Rice held his own, and though -knocked down at the beginning of the round, got up and went on. And -Sutherland's father asked me how many rounds had been fought, and was -very much interested in my notes. And, owing to him reading them, I -could not describe this round. At the end both were tired, one not more -than the other. - -_Round_ 9.--Rice, feeling he had still a chance, fought as well as ever -in this round, and Sutherland was clearly not taking anything like his -old interest in the fight. He kept looking mournfully at his father and -didn't seem to care where Rice hit him, and I could see that his father -was a good deal disappointed. Rice had much the best of this round, and -Sutherland bled again, though Rice did also. - -_Round_ 10.--It began all right, though both could hardly keep up their -arms, and then, without a blow, suddenly Sutherland shook his head and -extended his hand to Rice, and Rice shook it and the battle was over. - -That was the end of what Blades wrote, but much remains to be told, and -the fight, which was extraordinary in the beginning, turned out far more -extraordinary at the end. I couldn't believe my senses when Sutherland -gave in, and more could his father, and then came out the truth, which -was sad in a way, but really much sadder for me than Sutherland. -Because what I had thought was a right down glorious victory, well worth -the pint of blood I had shed and the tooth I had lost, turned out to be -what you might really call very little better than winning on a foul. - -After the fight, Sutherland hastened to his father and asked him about -Sutherland major and heard he was all right and going strong. Then he -actually began to blub; and his father rotted him and asked him what the -dickens was the matter with him, and how he had given in to a chap sizes -smaller than himself, and then Sutherland, between moments of undoubted -weeping explained. - -He said: - -"I never saw you in black clothes before, because at home you always -wear tweeds with squares and a red tie; and seeing you in pitch black, -of course I thought Tom was dead. Till then I was winning, and Rice -knows I was; but after you came and I felt positive Tom was dead----" - -Then Sutherland was quite unable to go on, and his father asked him -however he thought he could have stood there grinning at a kid fight -under such sad circumstances. Then he led Sutherland away and explained -that he happened to have been attending a funeral, near Plymouth, of -some old lawyer friend; and he thought he would kill two birds with one -stone, as they say, and come over and have a look at Sutherland and tell -him they'd heard good news of his brother and that his mother had bucked -up again. - -Well, there it was, and much worse for me than Sutherland, because his -grief was turned into joy; but my joy was turned into grief--winning in -that footling way, which didn't amount to winning at all. In fact it -was mere dust, and enough to make me weep myself, only that was a thing -I had never been known to do, and never shall in this world, or the -next. - -However, Sutherland minor was jolly sporting about it, and thoroughly -understood how it must look from my point of view. He even offered to -come to Ireland in the Christmas Holidays, if my people would ask him, -and fight me again on my own ground. He couldn't say more, but though I -gladly accepted the idea of his coming to Ireland, which was a very -happy thought on his part, I told him frankly that I should not fight -him again at present. - -"We may meet some happy day in the Amateur Championships, Sutherland," I -said, "if I get large enough and you don't get too large." - -"No, Rice," he answered; "for I shall be a heavyweight when I'm twenty, -and you at best can never hope to be anything but a welter; but I hope -we'll second each other many a time and oft." - - - - - PERCY MINIMUS AND HIS TOMMY - - -There were three Percys at Merivale, and they were all there together; -and to masters they were, of course, known as Percy major, Percy minor, -and Percy minimus, but we called them "the Three Maniacs." - -Though mad, they were nice chaps in a way, and did unexpected things and -always interested everybody because of their surprises. They were all -very different but very original, owing to their father being a -well-known actor. And Percy major was already an actor by nature, and -could imitate anything with remarkable exactness, from Dr. Dunston to a -monkey on a barrel organ. He could even imitate a hen with chickens, -but he was going for much higher flights when he went on the stage, and -knew the parts of Hamlet and Macbeth and Richard III by heart; though he -said to Travers, and I heard him, that it would probably be many a long -day before he got a chance to act these great tragical characters before -a London audience. His father, on the contrary, was a comedian, and -Blades had once seen him in a pantomime and liked him, and said that he -was good. - -Percy minor was not going on the stage, though when he liked he could be -awfully funny. Only he was generally serious, and meant to be a -painter. His great hope was to take likenesses, and he was always -practising it, and his school books were full of portraits of chaps and -masters. Some you could recognize. - -As for Percy minimus, he was the maddest of the lot, and my special -friend. We were in the Lower Third; and Forbes minimus was also our -special friend. But he chucked Merivale, as his parents went to the -Cape of Good Hope and took him, and then Percy and I were left. - -Percy never came out much while his brothers were at Merivale, and his -only strong point was singing in the choir. At music he was an -undoubted dab, and he liked it, and he said that, if his voice turned -into anything worth mentioning after it cracked, he should very likely -be an opera singer of the first water. And if it failed and fizzled -away to nothing after cracking, as treble voices sometimes do, then he -was going to be a clergyman--if his father would let him. - -He certainly sang like the devil, and Mr. Prowse, our music-master, was -fearfully keen on him, and arranged solos in chapel for him. And people -came from long distances on Sundays to hear him sing, though old Dunston -always thought, when outsiders turned up to the chapel services, it was -to hear him preach. But far from it. - -Well, this Percy minimus was what you may call sentimental, and he -certainly was a bit of a girl in some ways. I hated that squashy side -of him, and tried to cure it; but I forgave him, because he liked me, -and not many chaps did, owing to my having a stammer. - -Percy minimus was frightfully interested in my stammer, and said it -would very likely be cured when I grew up. He said that people who -stammer when they talk can often sing quite well; so I tried and found -it was so. But here, again, there was a drawback, because my singing -voice, though quite without any stammer, was right bang off as a voice, -and even funnier than my stammer. - -Percy minimus said it was just the sound a fly made before it died, when -it was caught by a spider; so naturally I chucked it. - -But this about Percy, not me. He had very kind instincts, and was of a -gentle disposition. For instance, when three of the masters went to the -war, and Dr. Dunston said he was going to fill the breach and do extra -work and take our class; while we much regretted it, Percy minimus -thought it was fine of the Doctor. - -He said: - -"Though it is bad hearing for us, Cornwallis, we are bound to admit it -is sporting of him. Because, at his great age, it must be very tiring to -do a lot of extra work; and no doubt to take the Lower Third must be -fairly deadly for such a learned man as him." - -"It will be deadlier for us," I said; and, of course, it was. But that -shows the queer views that Percy gets--hardly natural, I call it. And -then, when the Doctor threw up the sponge and got a new master called -Peacock to help and fill the gap till after the War, when Hutchings and -Meadows would come back, if alive, Percy minimus was queer again. - -This Peacock was old and dreadfully humble. I don't think he'd ever -been a master before, and he was very unlike his name in every way, and -had no idea of keeping order, but went in for getting our affection. He -tried frantically to be friendly; but he failed, because he was too -wormlike, being a crushed and shabby man with a thin, grey beard. And -when he attempted to fling himself into a game of hockey and be young -and dashing, he hurt himself and had to go in and get brandy. - -I believe he was a sort of charity on old Dunston's part, really, for -Mr. Peacock told Pegram that he had a wife and six children, and his -eldest son was at the War, and his second son was in the General Post -Office, and his eldest daughter was a schoolmistress at Bedford. - -Fancy telling Pegram these things! All Pegram did afterwards was to -make fun of Peacock and treat him with scorn, and many did the same; but -Percy minimus encouraged him, and he liked Percy minimus, and told him -several things about the General Post Office not generally known. - -Peacock, finding that me and Percy minimus were rather above the common -herd, told us that he was very anxious about his son at the War, and was -very interested about the War in general, and made us interested in it, -too. He read us a letter from his son at the Front, and Percy minimus -said it brought home the horrors--especially in the matters of food. - -Though not a great eater, Percy liked nice food better than any other -kind, and then, owing to this great feeling for nice food, there -happened the curious, and in fact most extraordinary, adventure of his -life. - -He came to me much excited one day with a newspaper. It was a week old, -but otherwise perfect in every way, and it had started a scheme for -sending the men at the Front a jolly good Christmas gift. For the sum of -five shillings the newspaper promised to send off tobacco and cigarettes -and sweets and chocolate and a new wooden pipe, all in one parcel; and -so, as Percy minimus pointed out, if you could only rake up that amount -and send it to the paper, it meant that one man in the trenches on -Christmas Day would have the great joy of receiving all these luxuries -in one simultaneous parcel from an unknown friend at home. - -I said: - -"It's a splendid idea, and I should like nothing better; but, of course, -in our case, it is out of the question. We've both subscribed to the -Hutchings' testimonial, and there's not a penny in sight for me this -side of Christmas, and no more there is for you." - -He admitted this, but said, because there wasn't a penny in sight, it -didn't follow we might not, by some unheard-of deeds, rake up the money -in time. And I said, well knowing what five shillings meant, that the -deeds would certainly have to be unheard-of. I said: - -"There's a fortnight before you have to send in the money, but, so far -as I am concerned, it might just as well be ten years." - -And he said: - -"The problem simply is: How to raise five shillings out of nothing in -fourteen days." - -And I said: - -"Yes." - -And he said: - -"It sounds simple enough." - -And I said: - -"The hardest problems often do." - -In two days he had got a shilling, by selling a thing he greatly valued. -It was a tie his mother had given him, and it was made of sheeny silk, -and changed colour according to which way you looked at it. His mother -had given half a crown for it, and Percy wore it on Sundays only. - -It was Sutherland who gave the money; and that still left four -shillings, and Percy minimus hadn't got another thing in the world worth -twopence. He then tried writing home, and failed. He said his father -was out of work, and, though a very generous and kind father as a rule, -not just now. His mother also failed him. She wrote sorrowfully, but -said that she and his father had done everything about the War they -could for the present. He then wrote to his godmother, and got a -shilling. Encouraged by this, he wrote to his godfather, who didn't -answer the letter. - -Fourpence had gone on stamps for these four letters, and he was -accordingly left with one and eightpence. Subtracting this from five -shillings, you will find he still had to raise three shillings and -fourpence. - -It looked hopeless, and I pointed out there was the additional danger -that he might be accused of getting money under false pretences if he -didn't collect the lot; but he did not fear that, because, as he said, -whatever he might get, he could send to some other charity which was -open to take less than five shillings. - -There were now seven days left, and he began to get very fidgetty and -wretched. He said he was always seeing in his mind's eye a Tommy in the -trenches waiting and watching and hoping, between his fights, that Percy -minimus would send him one of those grand simultaneous packets. It got -on his nerves after a bit, and twice he woke me in the dead of the night -in our dormitory sniffing very loud. - -I said: - -"You're making a toil of a pleasure, Percy." - -And he said: - -"No, I'm not. Whenever I go to sleep, I dream of my Tommy in the -trenches; and the parcels are being given out by Lord French, and my -Tommy stretches up his hand eagerly and hopefully; but there's no parcel -for him. And he shrugs his shoulders and just bears it, and goes back -to his gun; but it's simply hell for me." - -"What's he like?" I asked, to get Percy minimus off the sad side of it. - -"Huge and filthy," said Percy minimus. "He has a brown face and a big, -black moustache and one of the new steel hats; and he's plastered with -mud, and his eyes roll with craving for cigarettes and chocolates." - -"You needn't worry," I said. "He'll get his parcel all right. Of -course, they won't miss him." - -"What a fool you are, Cornwallis!" he answered, still sniffing. "Can't -you see that, if I don't send a parcel, there will be one parcel less; -and so one man will go without who would otherwise have had a parcel; -and that man will be this one I see in my dreadful dreams." - -"If you put it like that," I said--"of course." - -Then he had another beastly thought. - -"I've got an idea the man is Peacock's son," he said. "And I feel a -regular traitor to Peacock now every time I look at him." - -"Then why don't you ask him for some money?" I naturally answered. - -"I feel he hasn't got any," replied Percy. "But I can try." - -"Besides," I said, "his son may be an officer, and, of course, they -would be far above parcels." - -"I hope he is," said Percy; "but I don't think he is. And nobody would -be above a parcel at a time like that." - -Anyway he asked Peacock, and Peacock gave him sixpence, and wished he -could do better. This made two and twopence; and the same day Percy -found a threepenny piece in the playground; and though, at another time, -he would have mentioned this, with a view of returning it to the proper -owner, now he didn't, but said it was a Providence, and added it to the -rest. - -And this gave him another hopeful idea, and he mentioned the parcel for -his Tommy in his prayers, morning and evening, and asked me to do so -too. I was fed up with the whole thing by now, because Percy was getting -fairly tormented by it, and even said he saw the Tommy looking at him in -broad daylight sometimes--over the playground wall, or through the -window in the middle of a class. Still I obliged him, and prayed four -times for him to get his two and sevenpence; but there was no reply -whatever; and in this way two days were wasted. - -Then he had a desperate but brilliant idea, and told me. He said: - -"After school on Friday, in the half-hour before tea, I'm going to break -bounds and go down into Merivale and stand by the pavement and sing the -solo from the anthem we did last Sunday! Many people who sing along by -the pavement make money by doing so, and I might." - -"If you're caught, Dunston will flog you," I reminded him. - -But he was far past a thing like that. His eyes had glittered in rather -a wild way for three days now, and he said the Tommy with the black -moustache was always looking reproachfully at him, and if he shut his -eyes he saw him more distinctly than ever. In fact, he was getting -larger and more threatening every minute. He said: - -"A mere flogging is nothing to what they endure in the trenches." - -It was a sporting idea, and I would have risked it and gone with him; in -fact, I offered, being his great chum, but he would not allow me. - -"No," he said, "nothing is gained by your coming. This is entirely my -affair. Besides, you wouldn't tempt people to subscribe." - -So he went, and escaped in the darkness, and I waited at the limit of -"bounds" with great anxiety to meet him when he came back. My last word -to him was not to sing his bit out of an anthem, but something comic -about the War. But he didn't know anything comic about the War, and he -said, even if he did, that such a thing would only amuse common people, -who could not be supposed to give more than halfpence, if they gave -anything at all; whereas a solo from a fine anthem would attract a -better class, who understood more about music, and were more religious, -and consequently had more money. - -So he went, and in about twenty minutes, to my great horror, I saw him -being brought back in the custody of Brown--our well known master! - -The hateful Brown always loves to score off anybody not in his own -class, and so, seeing Percy warbling out of bounds in the middle of -Merivale, and about ten people, mostly kids, listening to him, he -pounced on the wretched Percy and dragged him away. He'd been singing -about ten minutes when the blow fell, and he was fearfully upset about -it, because everything had been going jolly well, and he had already -made no less than sevenpence in coppers, all from oldish women. He had -been told to go away from in front of a butcher's shop, but nobody else -had interfered with him in the least, and he had sung the anthem solo -through twice, and was just off again when the brutal Brown came along -and saw the Merivale colours on his cap, recognized Percy minimus, and -very nearly had a fit. - -So there it was; and he got flogged, and Dr. Dunston said it showed low -tastes, and would have been a source of great sorrow to his father. And -he also said that to explode a sacred air in that way in hope of -touching the charitable to fill his own pocket was about the limit, and -a great disgrace to the school in general. All of which went off Percy -like water off a duck's back, and the flogging didn't seem to hurt him -either. - -And there were four days still, and he said his Tommy grew larger and -larger, until he was almost as big as a house. In fact, Percy minimus -was rapidly growing dotty, and, as his great friend, I felt I must do -something, or he would very likely get some other dangerous illness, or -have a fit, or lose his mind for ever and become a maniac in real -earnest. So I told Percy minor; but unfortunately he and my Percy had -quarrelled rather bitterly for the moment, and Percy minor said he -didn't care what happened to Percy minimus; and that if he went out of -his mind he wouldn't have far to go; while, as to Percy major, I -couldn't tell him, because he had left Merivale the term before. - -The matron now discovered that Percy was queer, for she'd been making -him take pills for two days, and then one night, hearing him sigh -fearfully after he was in bed, she tried his temperature, and found it -about three hundred degrees of warmth. So she lugged him off to the -sick room, and Dr. Weston came in his motor, and said he couldn't see -any reason for it, and gave Percy some muck to calm him down. - -Next day he was kept in the sick room, though cooler, and when Dr. -Weston came on that day and questioned Percy in a kind tone of voice, he -explained the whole thing to the doctor, and said that he was in fearful -difficulties of mind. And Dr. Weston asked him what difficulties, and -he said for two shillings, which, added to three, make five. - -Then the doctor told him to go on, so he did, and showed the doctor the -advertisement from the paper about the simultaneous parcels. He also -said that his Tommy had now grown as big as a cloud in the sky, and was -always looking at him by night and day hungrily, and urging him on to -fresh efforts. And he also said that if he was only allowed to go into -the streets and sing an anthem for an hour or two, the two shillings -would be accomplished, and all would be well. And encouraged by the -great interest of Dr. Weston, Percy minimus ventured to ask him if he -thought he could ask Dr. Dunston to allow this to be done, seeing it -meant great comfort and joy for a Tommy in the trenches on Christmas -Day. - -It made Percy much cooler and calmer explaining why his temperature had -run up, and the doctor said it was undoubtedly not good for Percy to -have the Tommy so much on his mind. He didn't approve of the idea of -Percy singing either; but he put his hand into his waistcoat pocket and -produced a two-shilling piece, as if it was nothing, and he said that if -the matron or somebody, would get a postal order for five shillings and -send it off at once, he had every reason to think that Percy would soon -recover. - -Which was done, and I was allowed to see Percy, and bring from his desk -the cutting out of the newspaper, which he had already signed with his -name and address, which were to go to the Front with his parcel. And -Percy said that a great weight had now been lifted from his brain, which -no doubt it had. - -Anyhow, when Dr. Weston came next day he found Percy in a bath of -perspiration, and was much pleased, and said he was practically cured. -And Percy told him that his Tommy had now shrunk to about the size of an -ordinary Tommy, and only came when he was asleep, and was not in the -least reproachful, but quite pleasant and nice. And one day later the -Tommy disappeared altogether, and Percy minimus became perfectly well. -In fact, before the holidays arrived he seemed to have forgotten all -about his Tommy, and I took jolly good care not to remind him. - -He got fearfully keen about Dr. Weston then, and said that he was the -best man he had ever seen or heard of; and he even hoped that next term -he might run up to three hundred degrees again--just for the great -pleasure of seeing and talking to this doctor once more. - -But that wasn't all by any means--in fact, you might say that far the -most remarkable part of the adventure of Percy minimus had yet to come. -He went home for the holidays, and when he came back, much to my -astonishment, he was full of his blessed Tommy again. He actually said -that he'd got a photograph of him! - -I thought that coming back to school had made him queer once more, but -he wasn't in the least queer, for I saw the photograph with my own eyes. - -It was like this: the Tommy who had got the Christmas parcel which -Percy's five shillings bought, found Percy's address in it, according to -the splendid arrangement of the newspaper, and, though far too busy in -the trenches to take any notice of it just then, he was not too busy to -smoke the new pipe and the cigarettes and eat the various sweets--no -doubt between intervals of fiery slaughter. But he kept Percy's address -in his pocket, for he was a good and grateful man; and then, most -unfortunately, he was hit in the foot by a piece of shrapnel shell, and -though far from killed, yet so much wounded that he had to retire from -the Front. In fact, he was sent home to recover, and one day in -hospital, about a week before the end of the holidays, he had found -Percy minimus's name and address in the pocket of his coat, and had -written Percy a most interesting letter of four pages, saying that the -parcel had been a great comfort to him, and that he had sucked the last -peppermint drop only an hour before being shrapnelled. And, having been -photographed several times in the hospital by visitors, he sent Percy -minimus one. And there he was! - -I said it was a jolly interesting thing, and so on; but I couldn't for -the moment see why Percy was so frightfully excited about it, because it -was quite a possible thing to happen, though, of course, very good in -its way, and a letter he would always keep. - -And he said: - -"You don't seem to see the point, Cornwallis. It's a miracle." - -And I said: - -"Why?" - -And he said: - -"Because this is the very identical Tommy I was always seeing in my -dreams--the very identical one!" - -I hadn't thought of that, but somehow taken it for granted. Then he -pointed out it wasn't in the least a thing to take for granted, but the -purest miracle that ever happened in the memory of man, and quite beyond -human power to explain it in the world. - -I said there might be people in the world who could, but he wouldn't -hear of such a thing. He said: - -"No--not in this world; but no doubt there are in the next." - -And I said: - -"Then you'll have to wait." - -And he said: - -"It's done one thing; it's quite decided me about my future. I'm going -to be a clergyman." - -And I said: - -"Not if your voice doesn't crack, surely?" - -"My voice!" answered Percy minimus with great scorn. "What is a voice -compared to a miracle? If miracles happen to you, then, if you've got -any proper feeling, you ought to insist on being a clergyman." - -So I suppose he will be. But whatever else he is--even if he rises to -be a Canon or a Bishop--he'll always be a maniac, the same as his -brothers. - - - - - THE PRIZE POEM - - -Things were beastly dull at Merivale when we went back after the -Christmas holidays, and I believe even the Doctor felt it. Of course, -from our point of view, his life must always be deadly, but I suppose he -gets a certain amount of feeble excitement into it, in ways not known to -us. It's rather interesting to wonder what old people do find worth -doing; yet they must do something to amuse themselves, off and on, or -they'd go mad, I should think, which they seldom do. The amusements of -a very old person must be rather weird, yet they clearly like to be -alive, for when my grandmother died, she was eighty--a time of life when -you'd think there was simply nothing left. Yet, when I went to say -farewell to her, she told me she hoped to see the spring flowers once -more. She didn't; but it shows how fearfully hard-up old people must be -for amusement of any kind; for who on earth would want to see flowers, -spring or otherwise, if practically everything else had not been lost to -them? Myself I would much rather have died years before than eat the -food my grandmother ate, and never go out except in a bath-chair; but -she found it good enough, strange to say. So, no doubt, Dr. Dunston, -who is entirely active, and can eat meat and drink wine and walk rapidly -about, still finds being Head of Merivale School all right. - -But the winter term was deadly, what with the bad weather and the slow -progress of the War, and losing most of our football matches, owing to -having a very weak team. - -Then old Peacock, of all men--the new master, I mean--got an idea, and -Fortescue thought it was a good one, and Peacock proposed it to the -Doctor, and Dr. Dunston agreed to it. - -In fact, he announced it after chapel during the third week of February -in these words: - -"Our new friend, Mr. Peacock, has made a proposal to me, and I have -great pleasure not only in agreeing with him, but in congratulating him -on a very happy thought. Suspecting that there may be mute, inglorious -Miltons amongst us--a sanguine hope I cannot share--Mr. Peacock has -thought that it would add an interest to the term and wake a measure of -enthusiasm and energy in the ranks of our versifiers if we initiate a -competition. He suggests a prize poem upon the subject of the War; and -while my heart misgives me, yet I bow to Mr. Peacock's generous -proposal. You are invited, one and all of you, from the greatest to the -least, to write a prize poem on the subject of the War, and if such a -momentous theme fails to produce some notable addition to our war -poetry, then Mr. Peacock's disappointment will be considerable. He -trusts you to enter upon this task in no light spirit, and when I add -that Mr. Peacock proposes to give a prize of one guinea--twenty-one -shillings--to the victorious poet, you will see that a real effort is -needed. You will have a calendar month to prepare and execute your -verses, which must be composed outside the regular school hours; and I -may tell you that unless a certain humble standard of intelligence and -poetic ability is reached, I shall direct Mr. Peacock to withhold his -prize." - -Well, there it was; and, of course, a good deal of excitement occurred, -and it was jolly interesting to see who entered for the prize poem and -who did not. No doubt Travers major would have won it without an -effort, being so keen about everything to do with war; but, luckily for -the rest, he had left to go to Woolwich the term before. Travers minor -entered because he was strongly advised to, being a flier at literature -in general and keen about poetry; but he said frankly he should not -praise the War, but slate it, because he utterly disagreed with it and -hated war in general. - -Of course, the prize being a guinea made a lot of difference, and many -unexpected chaps decided to write a prize poem, though most of these, -when they sat down with pens and ink to do it, found such a thing quite -beyond them in every way. - -I myself--my name is Abbott--was one of these, and after reading a good -many real poems of the War, which Mr. Fortescue, who was a great poet -and much interested in the competition, kindly lent me, I found, on -setting out to do it, that the difficulties were far too great. Rhymes -are easy enough to get, in a way, but when you come to string the poem -together, you generally find your rhymes aren't solemn enough. I -believe I could have written a screamily funny prize poem; but, of -course, that wouldn't have pleased the Doctor, or Peacock either, so it -wasn't any good wasting time being funny. For instance, I wrote the -following poem in less than ten minutes: - - The Hun, the Hun, the footling Hun, - Most certainly doth take the bun. - - -And Blades and several other chaps said it was jolly good. But Blades, -who had also had a shot or two on the quiet, was like me--he could only -make comic poems, and the stanzas of his poem took the form of -Limericks. He said he could invent them with the greatest ease--in -class, or at prayers, or at meals, or going to bed, or getting up, or in -his bath--in fact, at any time when he wasn't playing football. He gave -me an example, which seemed to me so frightfully good that I thought -very likely Peacock would have given him a consolation prize. So he -tried it on Peacock; but Mr. Peacock thought nothing of it, and said -that was not at all the spirit of a prize poem, but belonged to the -gutter-press, whatever that is. It ran like this: - - The Kaiser set off for Paree - As if it was only a spree, - But old French's Army, - It soon knocked him barmy, - And now he is melancolee. - He next had a flutter at Nancy, - Though doubtless a little bit chancy; - But his men got a doing, - With plenty more brewing, - So he galloped off, saying, "Just fancy!" - - -There were hundreds more verses--in fact, you might say the whole -history of the War as far as it had got; and I advised Blades to send it -to _The Times_--to buck it up--or _Punch_, or something; but he -wouldn't, and when Peacock decided it was no use, he gave up writing it, -so a good poem was lost, in my opinion. - -Many fell out before the appointed day for sending in the prize poems; -but many did not, and though it was natural that a good few chaps -chucked it, the extraordinary thing was the number of chaps who kept on -to the bitter end, so to speak, and sent in poems. Almost the most -amazing was Mitchell. He certainly had made a rude poem once in a -moment of rage, but as to real poetry, a cabbage might just as well have -tried to make a poem as him. He was only keen about one thing in the -world, and that was money; and, of course, that was why he entered the -competition. He said to me: "I'd do much worse things than make a prize -poem, if anybody offered me a guinea. If it had been one of the Doctor's -wretched prizes, I wouldn't have attempted it; but a guinea is a guinea, -and as nobody here can make poetry for nuts, I'm just as likely to bring -it off as anybody else. It's taking a risk, in a way, but I've got my -ideas about the War, just as much as Travers minor or Sutherland, and, -if I don't win, I shall get a bit of fun out of it, anyway." - -He was a mean beast always, but cunning and frightfully crafty; and as -he had never had a decent idea in his life, let alone a poetical one, we -were all frightfully interested in Mitchell's poem on the War. - -The chap Sutherland he had mentioned was regarded as having a chance, -for he knew a lot about the War, and had two cousins in it, one in -France and one with the Fleet. He got letters without stamps on them -from these chaps, but there was never much in them. Thwaites also -entered, and he was known to write poetry and send it home; but it had -not been seen, and Thwaites, being delicate and rather fond of art and -playing the piano and such like piffle, we didn't regard him as having -warlike ideas. Besides, once, when Blades suddenly pulled out one of -his teeth in class and bled freely over Thwaites, who sat next to him, -Thwaites fainted at the sight of blood; which showed he couldn't -possibly write anything worth mentioning on such a fearful subject as -war; because, you may say, a war is blood or nothing. - -Only one absolute kid entered, and this was Percy minimus, who had sent -a Christmas pudding to the Front, and had the photograph of a "Tommy" -back. So he wrote a prize poem which he let his friends see, and Forbes -minimus said it was good, as far as he could say to the contrary. No -doubt it appeared so to a squirt like Forbes minimus, but, of course, it -could not be supposed to stand against the work of Travers minor, or -Sutherland, or Rice. - -I always rather thought myself that Rice might pull it off, being Irish -and a great fighter by nature. Unfortunately, he didn't know anything -whatever about poetry; yet his fighting instinct made him enter, and -though he wasn't likely to rhyme very well, or look after the scanning -and the feet and the spondees and dactyls, and all that mess, which, no -doubt, would count, yet I hoped that, for simple warlike dash, Rice -might bring it off. I asked him about it, and he said a good many -things had gone wrong with it, but here and there were bits that might -save it. - -He said: - -"I believe I shall either win the guinea right bang off, or get -flogged." Which interested me fearfully, but didn't surprise me, -because it was rather the way with Rice to rush at a thing head-long and -come out top--or bottom. He only really kept cool and patient and never -ran risks when he was fighting; but at everything else, which he -considered less important, he just dashed. He had dashed at the prize -poem--very different from Tracey, who was always cool about everything, -and wouldn't have gone to the Front himself for a thousand pounds. -Tracey was great at satire--in fact, satire was a natural gift with -him--and though, of course, it didn't always come off, owing to being so -satirical that nobody saw it, still he often did get in a nasty one; and -sometimes got licked for doing so. - -He told me his prize poem was all pure satire, and I said: - -"I doubt if the Doctor or Peacock will see it." - -And Tracey said: - -"I can't help that. Poetry is art, and I can't alter my great feeling -for satire to please them. It will come out; and even though old Dunston -and Peacock don't see it, I know jolly well the Kaiser and the Crown -Prince would, if they read it." - -Well, there it was, and that was about the lot worth mentioning who had -a shot at Mr. Peacock's guinea. The calendar month passed, and one day, -when classes began, the Doctor appeared, supported by Peacock, -Fortescue, and Brown. - -Everybody was summoned into the chapel, and the Doctor, who dearly likes -a flare-up of this kind, told us that the prize poems had been judged -and were going to be read. - -"I may tell you," he said, "that the prize has been won, contrary to my -fear that none would prove worthy of it. But we are agreed that there -is a copy of verses on the solemn subject set for discussion that -disgraces neither the writer nor Merivale. Indeed, I will go further -than that, and declare that one poem reflects no small credit on the -youthful poet responsible for it; and Mr. Peacock and Mr. Fortescue, -than whom you shall find no more acute and critical judges, share my own -pleasure at the effusion." - -The Doctor then began to read the prize poems, and he started with that -of Percy minimus, much to Percy's confusion. - -"The views of Percy minimus on the War are elementary, as we should -expect from a youth of his years," said old Dunston. "I may remark, -however, that he rhymes with great accuracy, and if he shows an -inclination to be didactic, and even give Lord Kitchener a hint or two, -I frankly pardon him for the sake of his concluding line. This reveals -in Percy minimus a flash of elevated feeling which does him infinite -credit. One can only hope that his pious aspiration will be echoed by -those great nations doomed to defeat in the appalling catastrophe which -they have provoked." - -Then he gave us the poem. - - - THE WAR - - BY PERCY MINIMUS - - War is a very fearful thing, I'm sure you'll all agree, - But sometimes we have got to fight in order to be free. - The Germans want to slaughter us, and do not understand - We are a people famed in fight, and also good and grand. - We never were unkind to them and never turned them out - When unto England's shores they came, to trade and look about. - - But all the time, I grieve to say, they only came as spies, - So that, when came the dreadful "Day," they'd take us by - surprise. - Which they did do, and if our ships had not been all prepared, - The Germans would have landed, and not you or I been spared. - Now all is changed, and very soon, upon the Belgian strand, - I promise you a million men of English breed shall land. - - And thanks to good Lord Kitchener, their wants will be supplied - With splendid food and cosy clothes and many things beside; - But he must bring the big siege guns when Antwerp we shall - reach, - Because with these fine weapons we have got to make a breach. - So let us pray that very soon we smash the cruel Hun, - And if, by dreadful luck, we lose--oh, then God's will be done! - - -We applauded Percy minimus for his sporting attempt, feeling of course, -it was piffle really, but good for a kid. Then the Doctor said he was -going to read Rice. - -"Mr. Fortescue," said Dunston, "has evinced the deepest interest in the -achievement of Rice. He tells me that there is now a movement in -art--including the sacred art of poesy--which is known as the Futurist -Movement. Rice's effort reminds Mr. Fortescue of this lamentable -outrage on the Muses, for it appears that the Futurists desire to thrust -all that man has done for art into the flames--to forget the glories of -Greece, to pour scorn on the Renaissance, to begin again with primal -chaos in a world where all shall be without form and void. This is -Nihilism and a crime against culture. For some mysterious reason, the -boy Rice, who we may safely assume has never heard of the Futurists -until this moment, appears to have emulated their methods and shared -their unholy extravagance of epithets, their frenzied anarchy, their -scorn of all that is lovely and of good repute. He even permits himself -expressions that at another time would win something more than a rebuke. -I will now read Rice, not for my pleasure or yours, but that at least -you may learn what is not poetry, and can never be mistaken for poetry -by those who, like ourselves, have drunk at the Pierian spring." - - - WAR - - BY RICE - - Smash! Crash! Crash! Bang! Crash! Bang! - Rattle, rattle, rattle, and crash again. - Air full of puffs of smoke where shells are bursting overhead, - Scream of shrapnel over the trenches and yells of rage! - Roar of men charging and howling a savage song--- - "Now we shan't be long!" Tramp of feet--then flop! they fall, - Dropping out here, there, and everywhere, and rolling head - over heels like rabbits. - And some sit up after the charge, and some don't. - Shot through the heart or head, they roll gloriously over--all - in! - But on go the living, shouting and screaming, and some bleeding - and not knowing it. - As loud as the "Jack Johnsons" they howl, their rifles are at - the charge and the bayonets are white-- - The white arm that goes in in front and out behind-- - Or in behind and out in front of the Germans running away. - The Boche hates the white arm--it sends him to hell by the - million! - Crash! Crash! Squash! Smash! Smash! Smash! - The trench is reached. Blood spurts and bones crack like china. - Gurgles! Chokes! Yells! Helmets fly, bayonets stick - And won't come out! Everybody is dead or dying in the - trench--except twelve Tommies! - Damns, growls, yells choked with blood! - Death, awful wounds, mess, corpses, legs, arms, heads--all - separate! - The trench is taken, and England has gained - A hundred yards! Hoorooh! - Hoorooh! Hoorooh! Hoorooh! - And what must it be to be there!!! - - Signed RICE. - - -I looked at Rice while his poem was being intoned by the Doctor. He had -turned very red, but he stuck it well, and somehow, though, of course, -it was right bang off, and no rhymes or anything, I liked it. And Mr. -Fortescue liked it, as he afterwards told Rice; but the Doctor and Mr. -Peacock fairly hated it, so that was the end of Rice. - -They thought nothing of Tracey's poem, either. The Doctor said: - -"Tracey has produced what, for reasons best known to himself, he calls -'a satire.' It possesses a certain element of crude humour, which, on -such a solemn theme, is utterly out of place. Upon the whole, I regard -it as discreditable in a Sixth Form boy, and do not think the better of -Tracey for having written it." - -He then read Tracey. - - - A SATIRE - - BY TRACEY - - No doubt, O Kaiser, you have thought - Napoleon was a duffer - Compared to you, when you set out - To make Old England suffer. - But if you read your history books, - You'll very quickly find, Sir, - That Boney knew, despite his faults, - How to make up his mind, Sir. - - You flutter up, you flutter down, - You flutter night and day, Sir, - Yet somehow victory won't look - Your mad and fluttering way, Sir, - But when the war by us is won, - And in Berlin our men, Sir, - You'll be a bit surprised to find - Where you will flutter then, Sir. - - -We laughed and thought it ripping; but the Doctor seemed to be hurt, and -said: "Silence, silence, boys! It ill becomes us to jest at the -spectacle of a fallen potentate, and still less so before he has fallen. - -"A more pleasing effort is that of Travers minor," went on the Doctor, -picking up the poem of Travers. "We have here nothing to be described -as a picture of war, but rather the views of an intelligent and -Christian boy upon war. Personally, I think well of these verses. They -are unostentatious--no flash of fire--but a temperate lament on war in -general and a final conviction not lacking in shrewdness. I will not -say that I entirely agree with Travers minor in his concluding -assertion, but he may be right--he may be right. At any rate, the poem -is a worthy expression of an educated mind, and by no means the worst of -those with which we are called to deal." - -He then read Travers minor, and we were all frightfully disappointed, -for it turned out that Travers hated war, so the result wasn't a war -poem at all, but a very tame affair without any dash about it--in fact, -very feeble, I thought. His brother would have despised him for writing -it. Of course, Peacock wanted a poem praising up the glory of war, not -sitting on it, like Travers minor did. - - - THE FOG OF WAR - - BY TRAVERS MINOR - - From out the awful fog of war - One thing too well we see-- - That man has not yet reached unto - His highest majesty. - For battle is a fiendish art - We share with wolf and bear, - But man has got a soul to save-- - He will not save it there. - This is the twentieth century, - We boast our great good sense. - And yet can only go to war - At horrible expense - Of human life. It makes us beasts; - We shout and spend our breath - To hear a thousand enemies - Have all been blown to death. - And each of all those thousand men - Was doubtless good and kind, - As those, no doubt, remember well - Whom he has left behind. - And when I hear that war brings out - Our finest qualities, - I do believe with all my heart - That is a pack of lies. - - -A deadly silence greeted the prize poem of Travers minor, and I believe -the Doctor felt rather sick with us for not applauding it. And Tracey, -who was very mad at what the Doctor had said about him, whispered rather -loud that Travers minor's effort was almost worthy of _Hymns Ancient and -Modern_. - -There were only three poems left now, and the excitement increased a -good deal, because nobody had won Peacock's guinea yet, so it was clear -that either Mitchell, or Thwaites, or Sutherland minor was the lucky -bargee. Both Mitchell and Thwaites seemed beyond the wildest hope, and -we felt pretty sure that Sutherland must have done the trick. But he -hadn't. The Doctor picked up his poem and put on a doubtful expression. - -"I confess that Sutherland gives me pause," he said. "For skill in -rhyming, Sutherland deserves all praise--he is ingenious and -correct--but such is the faultiness of his ear that he flouts the -fundamentals of prosody in each of his four stanzas. In fact, -Sutherland's poetry, regarded as such, is excruciating. He has ideas, -though not of a particularly exalted character; and even if he had given -us something better worthy to be called a poem, his lamentable failure -in metre would have debarred him from victory. His last verse contains -an objectionable suspicion we might associate rather with a commercial -traveller or small tradesman, than with one of us." - -Well, Sutherland's wasn't bad really, though rather rocky from a -poetical point of view, as the Doctor truly said. - - - KHAKI FOR EVER - - BY SUTHERLAND - - Loud roars the dreadful cannon above the bloody field, - While, like the lightning, through the smoke's dim shroud - The tongues of flame are flashing, where, concealed, - The vainglorious enemy's battery doth vaunt and laugh aloud, - Thinking that men of British race are going to yield. - - Poor German cannon-fodder! Little do they know - That those who wear khaki have never yet - Wherever, at the call of Bellona, they may go, - Surrendered to a lesser foe than Death. They've met - Far finer fighters than the Boche, and made their life's-blood - flow. - - Whether upon the open battle-front, or in a trench, - Or in a fort, or keeping communications, - With such a leader as great General French - The British khaki boys defeat all nations, - And in the foeman's gore their glittering bayonets they quench. - - And they will win, for right is on their side; - And when they do, the neutrals shall not share - The rich-earned booty the Allies divide; - For, as they would not sail in and fight, it is not fair - That they should win the fruits of this bloody tide. - - -We could see what the Doctor meant about Sutherland's poem--it didn't -flow exactly; but it might have been worse. Then Dr. Dunston picked up -Mitchell's poem and frowned; and Peacock frowned; and Fortescue also -frowned. We didn't know what was going to happen, for the Doctor made -no preliminary remarks on the subject of Mitchell. He just gave his -glasses a hitch and glared over the top of Mitchell's effort and then -read it out. - - - OLD ENGLAND FOR EVER - - BY MITCHELL - - Oh, now doth Death line his dead chaps with steel, - The swords of soldiers are his teeth, his fangs, - And now he feasts, mousing the flesh of man! - Rejoice, ye men of England, ring your bells. - King George, your King and England's, doth approach, - Commander of this hot, malicious day! - Our armour, that marched hence so silver bright, - Hither returns all gilt with German blood; - Our colours do return in those same hands - That did display them when we first marched forth; - And, like a jolly troup of huntsmen, come - Our lusty English all with purple hands, - Dyed in the slaughter of their Teuton foes. - But to their home they will no more return - Till Belgium's free and France is also free; - Then to their pale, their white-faced shore, - Whose foot spurns back the ocean's roaring tides - And coops from other lands her islanders-- - Even to that England, hedged in with the main, - That water-walled bulwark still secure, - Will they return and hear our thunderous cheers. - But Belgium first, unhappy, stricken land, - Which has, we know, and all too well we know, - Sluiced out her innocent soul through streams of blood, - Which blood, like sacrificing Abel's, cries, - Even from the tongueless caverns of the earth, - To us for justice and rough chastisement, - And, by the glorious worth of our descent, - Our arm shall do it, or our life be spent. - - -The Doctor stopped suddenly and flung his eyes over us. Naturally we -were staggered and full of amazement to think of a hard blade like -Mitchell producing such glorious stuff. Any fool could see it was -poetry of the classiest kind. - -"Do you desire to hear more?" shouted the Doctor. - -And we said, "Yes, sir!" - -"Then seek it in the immortal pages from whence the boy Mitchell has -dared to steal it!" he thundered out, growing his well-known, deadly red -colour. "With predatory hand and audacity from which the most hardened -criminal would have shrunk, this abominable boy, insolently counting on -the ignorance of those whose unfortunate duty it is to instruct him, has -appropriated the Bard to his own vile uses; and his cunning has led him -to interpolate and alter the text in such a manner that sundry passages -are made to appear as one. Mitchell will meet me in my study after -morning school. I need say no more. Words fail me----" - -And they actually did, which was a record in its way. The Doctor panted -for a bit, then he picked up Mitchell's poem, or rather, Shakespeare's, -as if it was a mouse that had been dead a fortnight, and dropped it on -the ground. It was rather a solemn moment--especially for Mitchell--and -the only funny thing about it was to see the Sixth. Of course, they'd -been had by Mitchell, just the same as us in the Fifth--in fact, -everybody; but they tried to look as if they'd known it was Shakespeare -from the first. As for Mitchell, he had made the rather rash mistake of -thinking old Dunston and Peacock and Fortescue didn't know any more -about Shakespeare than he did; and now he sat awful white, but resigned. -As a matter of fact, he got the worst flogging he ever did get, and had -a narrow squeak of being expelled also. It calmed him down for days -afterwards, and he was also called "King John" till the end of the term, -as a mark of contempt, which he badly hated. - -Then the Doctor snorted himself calm, and his face grew its usual -colour. He picked up Thwaites, and ended with the tamest poem of the -lot, in my opinion. Which shows that grown-up people and boys have a -very different idea about what is poetry and what isn't. - -"The verses of Thwaites have won the poet's bay," said Dr. Dunston. -"Thwaites alone has written a work worthy to be called a poem. His -stanzas possess music and reveal thought and feeling. Neither -technically are they open to grave objection. I congratulate Thwaites. -Though not robust, or a pillar of strength, either in his class, or in -the field, he possesses a refined mind, a capacity of emotion and a -power for expressing that emotion in terms of poetry that time and -application may possibly ripen and mature. Such, at least, is my -opinion, and those who have sat in judgment share it with me." - -He then gave us Thwaites--twittering sort of stuff, and interesting, not -because Thwaites had got "the poet's bay," whatever that is, but because -he had landed Peacock's guinea. Nobody much liked his prize poem except -the masters, and even Thwaites himself said it wasn't any real good, and -was written when he had a beastly sore throat and was feeling utterly -down on his luck. In fact, he was going to call it "Lines Written in -Dejection at Merivale," like real poets do, only he got better before he -finished the last verse, and so didn't. - - - TO THE EARTH - - BY THWAITES - - Suffer, sad earth; no pain can equal thine: - Thy giant heart must ever be a shrine - For all the sorrows of Humanity. - As one by one the stricken ages die, - The bright beams of the stars are turned to tears, - And howling winds that whistle down the years - Sigh "Sorrow, sorrow, sorrow!" and are gone - Into the silence of oblivion. - Suffer, great world; the poison fangs of Death - Can only wound, not kill thee.... Lo! the breath - Of everlasting dawn is in the wind; - The distant throbbing of a giant Mind - Shall set the music of the Universe - Once more in time--with harmony coerce - The discord of a warring race to cease - And sorrow die within the arms of peace. - - -Thwaites spent his guinea almost entirely on tuck, and though he was -very generous with it, and shared the grub with the competitors Rice and -Sutherland minor, who were his friends, he still kept enough to make -himself ill again. For it was one of the unlucky things about Thwaites -that any muck really worth eating always bowled him over. He wrote a -poem three times as long as his War poem, called "Effect of Cocoanut -Rock on the Tummy of Thwaites"; but Dunston wouldn't have purred much -over that. - - - - - THE REVENGE - - -If anybody has done a crime, Dr. Dunston generally speaks to them before -the school, so that all may hear what the crime is. And according to -the way he speaks to them, we know the sort of fate in store. - -If he says he remembers what it was to be a boy himself, there is great -hope, for, as Mitchell pointed out, that means the Doctor has himself -committed the crime in far-off times when he was young; but if he -doesn't say he remembers what it was to be a boy himself, then the crime -is probably a crime he never committed; and these are the sort he -punishes worst. - -Well, in the case of Tudor, he had never committed Tudor's crime, and he -himself said, when ragging Tudor before punishment, that he had never -even heard of such a crime. Therefore the consequences were bad for -Tudor, and he was flogged and his greatest treasure taken away from him -for ever. - -It was, no doubt, a very peculiar crime, and Mitchell told Tudor that it -was not so much the crime itself as the destructive consequences, that -had put the Doctor into such a bate. But we found out next term that -the destructive consequences had been sent home in a bill for Tudor's -father to pay, and they amounted to two pounds, so Tudor caught it at -home also. - -Well, it was like this: Tudor came back for the spring term with a -remarkably interesting tool called a glazier's diamond. He had saved up -and bought it with his own money, and it was valuable, having in it a -real diamond, the beauty of which was that it could cut glass. It could -also mark glass for ever; and, after a good deal of practice, on -out-of-the-way panes of glass in secluded places, Tudor had thoroughly -learned the difficult art of writing on glass. We were allowed to walk -round the kitchen garden sometimes upon Sunday afternoons, and, -occasionally, if a boy was seedy and separated from the rest for a day -or two, for fear he had got something catching, such a boy was allowed -in the kitchen garden under the eye of Harris, the kitchen gardener. - -And Tudor often got queer and threatened to develop catching things, -though he never really did; but on the days when he threatened, he -generally escaped lessons and was allowed in the kitchen garden. -Needless to say, that this place was full of opportunities for -practising the art of writing on glass, and, as nothing was easier than -to escape from the eye of Harris, he used these opportunities, and wrote -his name and mine and many others on cucumber frames, and on the side of -a hot-house used for growing grapes, and also on the window of a -potting-shed. - -I am Pratt, and Tudor and me were in the Lower Fourth. It was a class -that Dr. Dunston, unfortunately, took for history, and on those -occasions we went to his study for the lesson and stood in a row, which -extended from the window to the front of Doctor Dunston's desk. He sat -behind the desk, and took the class from there. But there was a great -difference in Tudor and me, because I was at the top of the Lower Fourth -and he was at the bottom. In the case of the Doctor's history class, -however, this was a great advantage for Tudor, because the bottom of the -class was by the window, and the top was in front of the Doctor. - -Well, Tudor actually got the great idea of writing with his glazier's -diamond on the Doctor's window! I advised him not, but he disdained my -advice, and wrote in the left-hand top corner of the bottom sheet of -glass. He wrote very small, but with great clearness, and it took him -seven history lessons to finish, because it was only at rare moments he -could do it. But the Doctor was now and then called out of his study by -Mrs. Dunston, or somebody; and once he had to go and see the mother of a -new boy who had written home to say he was being starved. It took ten -minutes to calm this mother down, and during that interval Tudor -finished his work. He had written the amusing words-- - - "BEYNON IS A LOUSE," - -and we were all rather pleased, except Beynon. But he well deserved the -insult, being a fearful outsider and generally hated; and, in any case, -he couldn't hit back, for though he had been known to sneak many a time -and oft, yet it wasn't likely he would sneak about a thing that showed -him in his true colours, like the writing on the Doctor's study window. - -Well, it was a triumph in a way, and everybody heard of it, and it was a -regular adventure to go into the Doctor's study and see the insult to -Beynon, which, of course, would last forever, unless somebody broke the -window; and, in fact, Beynon once told me, in a fit of rage, that he -meant to break the window and take the consequences. But he hadn't the -pluck, even when he got an excellent chance to do so; and when, in -despair, he tried to bribe other chaps to break the window, he hadn't -enough money, so he failed in every way, and the insult stood. - -I must tell you the writing was very small, and could only be seen by -careful scrutiny. It was absolutely safe from the Doctor, or, in fact, -anybody who didn't know it was there; and, naturally, Tudor never felt -the slightest fear that it would ever be seen by the eyes of an enemy. - -When, therefore, it was discovered, and shown to the Doctor, and all was -lost, Tudor felt bitterly surprised. It came out that a housemaid, who -disliked Beynon, found it when she was cleaning the window, and she -showed it to Milly Dunston, and the hateful Milly, who loathed Tudor, -because he had once given her a cough lozenge of a deadly kind, and made -her suck it before she had found out the truth, promptly told her mother -about the inscription, and her mother sneaked to the Doctor. - -Discovery might still have been avoided, but, unfortunately, Tudor's -glazier's diamond was well known, because he had been reported by Brown -for scratching Brown's looking-glass over the mantelpiece in Brown's -study, when he thought Brown was miles away, and Brown came in at the -critical moment. So Dunston knew only too well that Tudor had a -glazier's diamond, and, owing to the laws of cause and effect, felt -quite sure that Tudor had done the fatal deed. - -Therefore Tudor suffered the full penalty, and Dr. Dunston told the -school that Tudor's coarseness was only exceeded by his lawless -insolence and contempt for private property. That it should have been -done in his own study, during intervals of respite in the history -lesson, naturally had its effect on the Doctor, and made it worse for -Tudor. The glazier's diamond had to be given up, and Tudor was flogged; -but being very apt to crock and often bursting out coughing without any -reason, the Doctor did not flog Tudor to any great extent; and it was -not the flogging, but the loss of his glazier's diamond that made Tudor -so mad and resolved him on his revenge. - -Well, he had a very revengeful nature, as a matter of fact, and if -anybody scored on him, he was never, as you may say, contented with life -in general until he had scored back. And he always did so, and -sometimes, though he might have to wait for a term or even two, he was -like the elephant that a man stuck a pin into, who remembered it and -instantly killed the man when he met him again twenty years later. - -To be revenged in an ordinary way is, of course, easy; but to be -revenged against the Doctor is far from easy, and I reminded Tudor how -hard it had been even to revenge himself on Brown, when Brown scored -heavily off him; and if it was hard to be revenged on a master like -Brown, what would it be to strike a blow at the Doctor? - -He said it might or might not come off; but he should be poor company -for me, or anybody, until he had had a try, and he developed his scheme -of a revenge, and thought of nothing else until the idea was ready to be -put into execution. - -He said: - -"It's not so much a revenge, really, as simple justice. He took my -glazier's diamond, which was the thing I valued most in the world, -naturally; and what I ought to do, if I could, Pratt, would be to take -from him the thing he values most in the world." - -I said: - -"That's hidden from you." - -And he said: - -"No, it isn't: the thing that he values most in the world is Mrs. -Dunston." - -I said: - -"Well, you can't take her away from him." - -And he said: - -"I might. Some people would remove her by death. Of course, I wouldn't -do anything like that. She's all right, though how she can live with a -grey and brutal beast like the Doctor, I don't know--or anybody. But, -of course, I can't strike him there. I've merely decided to take -something he can't do without. He'll be able to make it good in time, -but not all in a minute; and in the meanwhile he'll look a fool, besides -being useless to the world at large." - -It was dangerous, but interesting. - -I said: - -"What could you take so important as all that, without being spotted?" - -And he said: - -"Swear not to tell anybody living." - -And I swore. - -Then he said: - -"His glasses!" - -It was a great thought, worthy of Tudor, and, of course, without his -glasses the Doctor would be hopelessly done. He cannot read a line -without them, and when he takes a Greek class, strange to say, he wears -two pairs--his ordinary double-glasses, against the naked eye, and a -pair of common spectacles, of very large size, on his nose outside. In -this elaborate way he reads Greek. - -Well, I praised Tudor, but reminded him it was stealing. - -And he said: - -"I know: that's where the justice comes in. He stole my glazier's -diamond. Now I'm going to steal his glasses." - -"Shall you ever give them back?" I asked. - -And he said: - -"I may, or I may not. The first thing is to get them." - -"He takes them off to stretch his eyes sometimes," I reminded Tudor. - -"Yes, and for tea," said Tudor. "If he goes in to Mrs. Dunston's room -for a hasty cup of tea, he generally leaves the glasses in the study on -his desk till he comes back to work." - -Well, Tudor got them. In a week from the day he decided to take them, -he had an opportunity. Every day that week he had contrived to be around -when tea-time came on, and once Dr. Dunston found him hanging about the -passage, and told him to be gone. But he was crowned with success, and -that same night in the playground, by the light of my electric torch, -Tudor showed me the solemn sight of the double-eyeglasses of the Doctor -actually in his hand! - -Well, he was fearfully excited about it, and concealed the glasses for a -few hours in his playbox. Then, fearing there might be a hue and cry, -and everything stirred to its foundations, he took the glasses out just -before supper, and concealed them in a crevice on the top of the -playground wall, only known to me and him. - -That night he did not sleep for hours, and more did I. I pictured the -Doctor's terrible anger at having to stop reading the news of the War, -and Tudor told me next morning that he had put the Doctor out of action -for all school purposes, as well as private reading, and we might hope -for at least three days without him, as it would take fully that time to -manufacture such glasses as he wore. - -But a bitter disappointment was in store for Tudor, and when the usual -moment came for prayers in the chapel before breakfast, lo and behold, -Dr. Dunston sailed in with a pair of glasses perched on his nose in the -customary place! We could hardly believe our eyes; then we quickly -perceived that Dunston evidently kept a reserve pair of glasses for fear -of accidents. And the accident had happened, and he had fallen back -upon the reserve pair, no doubt in triumph. - -Well, Tudor said it was gall and wormwood to be done like that, and even -thought of stealing the second pair of glasses; but then a strange and -sudden thing overtook Tudor, and the very next Sunday a man came to -preach at the chapel service for a good cause; and the good cause was a -Medical Drug Fund for natives in the wilds of Africa. These natives -become Christians under steady pressure, and after that always seem to -be in need of drugs, especially quinine; and Tudor, who, owing to his -lungs and one thing and another, had a good experience of drugs, was -deeply interested, and gave sixpence to the Medical Drug Fund, and -showed a strong inclination to become a collector for the Medical Drug -Missionary. I had often read of sermons altering a person's ideas, and -making him or her inclined to be different from that moment onwards, but -I never saw it actually happen in real life before. Yet, in the case of -Tudor, that Medical Drug sermon, and the stirring anecdotes of the -savage tribes, tamed into well-behaved invalids by the Missionary, had a -wonderful effect upon him, and it took the strange form of making him -rather down-hearted about Dr. Dunston's glasses. Nothing had been said -when they disappeared, and no fuss was made at all; and I advised him -just to take them back quietly, when a chance presented itself, and slip -them under some papers on the Doctor's desk, and leave the rest to time. - -I said: - -"You'd better do it now, while this feeling about being a collector for -the Missionary is on you. It will soon pass off, and then you won't -want to give them back." - -He said: - -"To show you how I did feel before hearing the Drug Missionary, Pratt, I -may tell you I had an idea of taking the glasses home next holidays, and -buying a new glazier's diamond and writing on the glasses the bitter -words, 'THOU SHALT NOT STEAL,' and then returning them to his desk next -term. But there are two very good reasons why I shall not do that. One -is this strong pro-missionary feeling in me, and the other is that, if I -did, Dunston would guess to a dead certainty who had done it, knowing -only too well what I can do in the matter of writing on glass." - -"He would," I told Tudor. "So the sooner you put them back unharmed, -the better." - -"I shall," said Tudor, "and I'm going to return them in a very peculiar -way. I am going to hide them in a certain place, and then I am going to -write an anonymous letter to Dunston, telling him they are in that -place." - -Well, I thought nothing of this idea. - -I said: - -"Why make it so beastly complicated? Besides, anonymous letters are -often traced by skilled detectives, and if it was found you wrote it, -where are you then?" - -And he said: - -"I have no fear about that, because the letter will all be carefully -printed; and my reason for writing a letter at all is to explain to him -that the Unknown, who took his glasses away, is sorry." - -"What on earth does that matter to him?" I said. - -"It matters to me," explained Tudor. "As you know, that Drug Missionary -made a great impression upon me, and I have come to be very sick with -myself that I did this thing. Of course, I am not nearly sick enough to -give the show away and tell Dunston I did it, but I am sick enough to -say I am sorry, and I want him to know it--anonymously." - -Well, this was beyond me, and I told Tudor so. He then said: - -"Sometimes, Pratt, people don't pay quite enough income tax; but -presently there comes a feeling over them that they have defrauded the -innocent and trustful Government, and their hearts are softened--I dare -say often by a missionary, like mine was--and then they send five-pound -notes by great stealth to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, and feel -better. And their consciences are quickly cured. But they take jolly -good care not to send their names, because they know that, if they did, -the Chancellor of the Exchequer would go much further, and, far from -rewarding them for their conduct, would very likely want more still, and -never trust them again about their incomes, and persecute them to their -dying day. And it's like that with me." - -Then I saw what he meant; and I also saw that there may be a great -danger in listening to missionaries, and was exceedingly sorry that -Tudor had done so. I still advised him not to write to the Doctor, and -felt sure his conscience would be just as comfortable if he didn't; but -when Tudor decides to carry out a project, he carries it out, and he is -generally very unpleasant till he has. Accordingly, he dropped the -Doctor's glasses into a deep Indian jar which stood on the mantelpiece -in the study, and then, in great secret with me, he wrote his letter. -It happened he had just got a new Latin Delectus, and at the end of this -book was a sheet of clean paper without a mark upon it. We cut it out -with a penknife, and took a school envelope and two halfpenny stamps, -and wrote the letter and posted it to the Doctor on the following day. - -Well, the letter ran in these words, all printed, so that there was no -handwriting in it; and the envelope, needless to say, was also printed -in a very dexterous and utterly misleading manner. - - -"DEAR SIR, - -"I regret to have to confess that I stole your eyeglasses in a bad -moment. There was a very good reason, but, all the same, I am sorry, -and also clearly know now that it was a very wrong thing to do. It was -a revenge, but it came to nothing, because you had a pair in reserve. I -am glad you had. I prefer to be Unknown. - -"Your glasses are in a beautiful and rare Indian jar at the left-hand -corner of your mantel-piece, and I hope you will forgive, because my -eyes have been opened by the visit of the Drug Missionary to Merivale, -and I am sorry. - -"I am, dear Sir, your well-wisher, - "THE UNKNOWN." - - -Well, this good and mysterious letter Tudor posted, and the very next -morning, curiously enough, he entirely ceased to want to collect for the -Drug Missionary. In fact, from that moment he fell back quite into his -usual way of looking at things, and, by the next evening, actually said -he was sorry he had given Dr. Dunston back his glasses. But he was -sorrier still three days later, for then a very shattering event indeed -happened to Tudor. The Doctor sent for him, and he went without the -least fear, to find his anonymous letter lying on the Doctor's desk. - -I heard the whole amazing story afterwards. The Doctor asked him first -if he had written the letter, and, being taken utterly unawares and -frightfully fluttered at the shock, almost before he knew what he was -doing, you may say, Tudor confessed that he had. - -Then the Doctor told him how vain it was for any boy to seek to deceive -him. He said: "You see how swiftly your sin has found you out, Tudor." - -And Tudor admitted it had. He was now, of course, prepared for the -worst, yet, as he told me, his chief feeling at that moment was not so -much terror as a frightful longing to know how the Doctor had spotted -him. Of course, he couldn't dare to ask, so he merely admitted that his -sin certainly had found him out quicker than he expected; and then, -rather craftily, he said he was glad it had. - -Well, the Doctor didn't believe this; but he was not in a particularly -severe mood that evening, strange to say, and he told Tudor exactly what -had happened. He said: - -"It may interest you to know, misguided boy, that mentioning your -anonymous letter to Mr. Brown, and informing him that I had found my -lost glasses in the spot indicated, he evinced a kindly concern, and -even assured me that he would probably have no great difficulty in -discovering the culprit. In the brief space of four-and-twenty hours he -did so. Perceiving that the paper on which you wrote was obviously from -a book of a certain folio, his first care was to ascertain, by -comparisons of size, from what work it had come. Perceiving also that -the paper was extraordinarily clean, he had no difficulty in concluding -it was extracted from a new book. He then discovered that the page came -from a Latin Delectus, and, on further inquiry, was able to learn that -three copies of the work had recently been issued to members of the -Lower Fourth. Pursuing his investigations, when the boys had retired to -rest, he speedily marked down the mutilated volume in your desk, Tudor; -and while I have already thanked him for his zeal and penetration, I -feel little doubt that a time will come when, looking back on this dark -page in your history, you will thank him also." - -Well, Tudor didn't give his views about Brown, but he said the glasses -had been very much on his mind, only he had not liked to return them -without saying he was bitterly sorry. He told me afterwards that he was -very nearly saying to Dr. Dunston that some boys would have returned the -glasses without even an anonymous letter of regret; but fortunately he -did not. - -The Doctor then took him through the letter, and invited him to throw -light upon it. He was chiefly interested in the part about revenge, and -he forced Tudor to explain that the revenge was because Dr. Dunston had -taken away his glazier's diamond. Dr. Dunston then said that incident -was long ago closed, and that, in fact, after the pane of glass in his -study had been taken out and a new one put in, he had dismissed the -matter from his mind. He seemed much surprised that Tudor had not -dismissed the matter from his mind also, and he told him that the -revengeful spirit always came to grief in the long run. He then wound -up by saying: - -"You sign yourself 'The Unknown,' wretched boy, but let this be a lesson -to you that henceforth you are neither unknown to your head master or -your God. For the rest, since you have the grace, in this penitential -though patronizing communication, to express sincere regret at your -conduct, and also to record the fact that you are my 'Well-wisher,' -though that is not at all the sort of expression suitable from a Fourth -Form scholar to his head master--since, I say, I find these signs of -grace, I shall not inflict the extreme penalty on this occasion. For -the moment I have not determined on my next step, and will thank you to -wait upon me this time to-morrow. Now you may go." - -And Tudor said: - -"Thank you very much, sir," and went. - -He was a great deal cast down, and admitted, for once, I was right. But -though his feeling for the Doctor was now, on the whole, one of patience -and thankfulness, his feeling for Brown was very different, and when the -wretched Brown grinned at Tudor, and rotted him in class, and told the -whole story of how he had played the beastly sleuth-hound on Tudor, and -started calling him "The Unknown," Tudor took it with dignified silence, -and from that instant started to plan the greatest revenge of his life. -He told me that it might not be at Merivale he would be revenged, but in -the world at large, and if it was not until Brown had grown old and -bald-headed, the end was bound to be just the same, and the rest of -Brown's life, however long it might last, would undoubtedly be ruined by -Tudor. And he also said that he was jolly glad the missionary feeling -had left him, so that not a shadow of remorse might come between him and -Brown when "The Day" arrived. - -Well, there was only one thing more rather interesting about Tudor's -revenge on the Doctor, and that was Dr. Dunston's revenge on Tudor. -Tudor went to him again at the appointed time, and, after a lot of jaw, -the Doctor told Tudor that he must now write out the complete article on -"Optics," in the _Encyclopaedia Britannica_, including all the algebra -and everything. There were exactly ten huge pages of this deadly stuff, -and Tudor was fairly frantic at first; but curious to relate, after he -had done one page, he found it quite interesting in its way. Then it -got more and more interesting, as it went on, and Tudor finally decided -that there was no doubt, with his strong feeling for the science of -optics, that he ought to take it up as a profession. - -I asked him if he should take up microscopes or telescopes, and he said -telescopes certainly, because that meant astronomy, and in time you -might rise to be Astronomer Royal of Greenwich, which was something. - -I said: - -"It is a great thing to know the stars and comets by their names." - -And he said: - -"Yes, Pratt, and another great advantage of astronomy is that you may be -out all night whenever you choose, and nobody can say a word against -you." - -So the extraordinary event came about that what Dr. Dunston intended as -a stiff imposition and sharp punishment on Tudor, really worked in a -very different manner, and instead of crushing Tudor and grinding him -under the heel of Dr. Dunston, so to speak, only put into Tudor the -splendid idea of mastering the heavens, and then, some day, getting the -perfect freedom by night of an Astronomer Royal of Greenwich. - - - - - THE "TURBOT'S" AUNT - - -Of course, he was not really called "Turbot"; but just after he came to -Merivale, some ass in the Fifth started the silly rag of calling -everybody after a fish, and pretty well every fish known to science was -rung in. In fact, they just about went round. Sometimes the likeness -was fairly clear and the simile was good. For instance, being head of -the school, I was called "Salmon," which is the king of fish; and as I -am underhung and have rather fierce eyes, there was a certain fitness in -calling me "Salmon." But after I had decided that Abbott could not have -his colours for "footer," being lame, there was a feeling against me -among Abbott's friends, and Tracey called me "Tinned Salmon," which was -merely silly and not in the least amusing. Nor was it amusing to call -Maybrick "Sardine" because he kept tins of this fish in his desk; but -"John Dory" was all right for Nicholas, that being the ugliest fish in -the sea, and Nicholas the ugliest chap at Merivale. "Porpoise" was true -for Preston, who inclines to great fatness, and blows after exertion in -a very porpoise-like way; but to call Briggs "Herring" because he was a -"doter on a bloater," as Tracey said, and to call Tracey himself a -"Torpedo Ray" because he was always trying to give shocks, was footling -without being funny. On the other hand, it was neat to call Pratt -"Cuttlefish," because he was always inky to the elbows; and as far as -Bradwell was concerned, the nickname of "Turbot" suited him very well, -owing to his eyes, which always goggled if a master spoke to him, and -also owing to his mouth, which was all lips and rather one-sided when he -laughed. - -Kids, of course, have a poor sense of what is really funny, owing to -their general ignorance. Yet they prefer their own feeble jokes to ours. -A joke that the Sixth sees in a moment is utterly lost on them, while -utter piffle, that no sane person would smile at, makes them scream. -We, for instance, called Mitchell "Shark" because of his well-known -habits over money, but this did not amuse the kids in the least; while -they called Forbes minimus "Whale" because he was the smallest boy in -the school; which naturally could not cause anybody but an idiot the -least amusement. - -Well, Bradwell was far from interesting from a mental point of view, -having, as our master, Mr. Fortescue, said, apparently outgrown his -brains. He was just at his seventeenth birthday when these remarkable -events happened; but at first glance, and, in fact, until you talked to -him, you would at once have said he was grown up. He was in the Lower -Fifth, and it really looked as though a master was in the Lower Fifth -rather than a pupil. And he was only there because it would have been a -burlesque to put him any lower, though in strict justice, as far as his -knowledge was concerned, he would have been in his right place in the -Upper Third. But he had to stop in the Lower Fifth, and even there was -an absurd sight, being six feet high and very large in every way, and -having a distinct moustache, which, owing to its being black, could not -be hidden. What a scissors could do he did; but it was there, and grew -by night, and could not be concealed. He was a very finely made chap, -and had magnificent muscles; but such was his awkwardness and stupidity -that he couldn't even use these muscles properly, and he was no earthly -good even in the gym. At games he failed utterly, though he tried hard; -but he was too slow even for a full-back at "footer," and couldn't get -down quick enough for a "goaley"; in fact, rapid movement seemed utterly -beyond his power. At cricket he was also an object of utter scorn, for -despite his hands, which were huge, he couldn't hold the simplest catch; -and despite his reach, which was that of a six-foot chap, he had not the -humblest idea of timing a ball, or the vaguest notion of how to play a -stroke. In fact, such was his unworthiness that he could only have -played in the third eleven, and as that was naturally composed of kids -of eleven and twelve, it would have been an outrage to see him in it. -Bradwell meant well, but he was rather barred, not from dislike, but -simply because he had, as it were, grown up before his time, and had a -kid's mind in a man's body. In fact, he fell between two stools, in a -manner of speaking, because, to the Sixth and the masters, he was a -thing of nought, while to those who had a mind like his own, he was -grown up and no use in any way. - -I was the only one at Merivale who understood his weird case, and when -he first came, I let him fag for me; but he was awful as a fag, and such -was his over-anxiety to please and shine that he never did either. I -had, in fact, to chuck him. At sixteen years and eleven months of age -he led rather a lonely life; but when the War broke out, he said he was -very interested in it, and asked me sometimes if I would be so good as -to explain military matters to him. Which I did in the simplest words -possible, as anything like regular military terms would have been far -beyond him. On hearing that aeroplanes have great difficulty in -descending by night, he invented a scheme of stretching strong nets with -a big mesh on poles ten feet above the ground, spread over half a mile -of landing-place, to catch them. This showed mind in a way; but he -never appeared to have any real martial instinct, and when once a girl -in Merivale handed him a white feather, he stopped and took off his hat -and said: - -"I quite understand what you mean, but I shan't be seventeen for a -fortnight yet." - -This the girl naturally refused to believe, and the "Turbot" came to me -and complained about it. - -As a matter of fact, I rather backed up the girl--not for giving -"Turbot" a white feather, which is a vulgar and silly thing to give -anybody, because you never know, as the great case of Fortescue -showed--but because she didn't believe "Turbot" when he said he was only -just about to be seventeen. To look at him, he might easily have been -married, which shows appearances are very deceptive. But, anyway, I -said: - -"You can't blame a flapper for thinking you are of age to join the Army, -Bradwell. Anybody would think so, and lots of younger-looking chaps -than you have said they were eighteen, and been passed without a murmur, -though their birth certificates would have given them away. But anybody -six feet high and with a clearly visible black moustache, and with your -muscles, would pass the authorities, and you may bet that many have." - -He merely goggled, and said no doubt I was right. - -I must tell you that "Turbot" had no father or mother, and, in fact, -nobody but a single, oldish aunt who lived at Plymouth. But he had a -guardian, who sent him to Merivale when his family unfortunately died; -and at first he stopped at Merivale in the holidays. But once the aunt -took him for a fortnight at Easter; and she appeared to like him, for, -after that, he always went to her. The guardian did not, however, like -"Turbot," and "Turbot" would have been quite content to stop at Merivale -in the holidays, rather than spend his time with the guardian, who had -no friendly feeling for him. In fact, you may say that "Turbot" was a -duty rather than a pleasure to the guardian. - -Then, at the beginning of the autumn term, in the first year of the War, -"Turbot's" aunt wrote to Dr. Dunston and asked if "Turbot" might spend -Saturday till Monday with her, because it was going to be his birthday; -and the Doctor gave permission. - -So "Turbot" went, and naturally was not missed in any way till Monday -morning. Then at roll-call before chapel, the "Turbot's" well-known -bleat was not heard, and it was soon perceived that he'd done something -very much out of the common. - -Nothing had been heard from his aunt, apparently, and so a telegram was -dispatched to her, and, as no reply came to it, Dr. Dunston began to -worry. He then sent off a telegram to the guardian, and the excitement -decidedly thickened. After dinner the Doctor sent for me, as head boy, -and told me that the guardian had heard nothing whatever about "Turbot." - -"I may tell you, Travers," he said, "though there is no reason to repeat -it, that Bradwell is not _persona grata_ with the gentleman who stands -to him _in loco parentis_. That is unfortunate for Bradwell, because he -may lack friends in the future, being a boy without any mental ability, -or that charm and power to please we occasionally find in the stupid -lad. His guardian, however, evinces no uneasiness at the disappearance -of Bradwell, and my knowledge of human nature inclines me to doubt if -the individual in question will much care whether Bradwell returns or -does not. I speak, of course, in confidence. But he is a busy man, and -has a large family of his own, with its concomitant anxieties. He sends -his own boys to Harrow, and it is not for us to judge his motives in so -doing, or whether they are guided by disinterested desire for the future -welfare of an obscure attorney's sons, or influenced by that spirit of -snobbishness from which few Englishmen are entirely free. - -"Now, I shall ask you this afternoon, Travers, to undertake a little -mission which I can safely trust to you. We are, as you know, very -short-handed, and to spare a master is almost impossible. I will -therefore invite you to go as far as Plymouth, call at No. 10 Mutley -Plain Villas, and ask to see Miss Mason, the maternal aunt of Bradwell, -and his sole surviving relative. It is a somewhat delicate duty, and -you must regard it as a compliment that I seek your aid. Here is half a -crown for your return railway fare. You will alight at Mutley Station, -and should catch the five-thirty train back to Merivale. The lady has -not responded to my telegram, hence my desire, before putting the matter -in the hands of the police, to learn all she may be able to tell us. -Present my card, and she will see you at once if at home. If not, wait -until she returns." - -It was rather a responsible thing, and a great compliment to me. So I -went, first putting on my best clothes and a new pair of gloves. -Arrived at Plymouth, I got out at Mutley, and easily found Mutley Plain -Villas, which were only a quarter of a mile from the railway. The house -was small, but very neat in appearance, and the door-knocker, which was -of highly polished brass, gave a loud tapping sound into the hall. -There was no sign of the "Turbot." - -A servant of considerable age answered my knock, and when I asked her if -Miss Mason was at home, she replied that she was. She told me to walk -in, which I did. I then gave her Dr. Dunston's card, and was shown into -a neat drawing-room, which had a piano in it, and a pile of khaki wool -on a sofa. There was also an illustrated newspaper in the room, and I -sat down on a chair and read the illustrated newspaper until Miss Mason -arrived. - -Presently she came, and proved younger than her servant, though still -not in reality young. She was unlike Bradwell in every way. Even her -eyes did not resemble his, being black and small--you might say -beady--and her mouth had thin lips, which revealed lustrous teeth, which -might have been false ones, though, on the other hand, they might not. - -"Curiously enough," she said, "I was just writing a letter to Dr. -Dunston when you arrived. Now I can send a message by you instead. Are -you his son?" - -"No, Miss Mason," I answered. "I am Travers, the head boy at Merivale -School." - -"How interesting!" she said. "And what are you going to do in the -world, Travers?" - -"I leave next term--this is my last term, in fact--and I am then going -to try for Woolwich," I said. - -"That means the Army, of course," she answered. "I hope you will pass -well." - -I then thanked her for this kind wish, and said I hoped so, too. - -"Owing to the War," I explained, "there is no very great difficulty in -passing into Woolwich at present, and I hope to get on quickly, and take -my place in the fighting-line before the War is over." - -She approved of this. - -"Quite right," she said. "I never wanted to be a man before the War, -but I do now." - -She spoke in a very martial and sporting way, and rang for tea. - -This was good of its kind, and when I had eaten pretty well everything, -after handing her each dish first, she asked me if I would like an egg, -and, of course, I said I would. Then she ordered the old servant to -boil two eggs; and the old servant did so, and I ate them both. We -talked of the War, and, funnily enough, I quite forgot all about the -"Turbot" till a clock chimed on the mantelshelf the hour of five. - -This, as it were, reminded me of my mission. - -"I must soon go back to the station," I said, "so perhaps you will now -be so kind as to tell me about 'Turbot.'" - -"And who is 'Turbot'?" she asked. - -So I had to explain that we were all called fish, owing to a silly joke, -and I also hoped that she would not think that I meant anything rude to -her nephew by mentioning him in that way. She was not in the least -annoyed, and said: - -"Ralph came to me on Saturday, and he left me on Sunday morning." - -"Do you know where he has gone?" I asked. - -And she said: "I haven't the slightest idea where he has gone, Travers." - -"That's very serious," I said, "because your nephew's guardian hasn't -the slightest idea, either." - -Her lips tightened over her dazzling teeth at the mention of the -guardian, and I could see she didn't like him. She spoke in a sneering -sort of voice and said: - -"Ah! Really?" - -Then, feeling there was nothing more to discuss, I got up and cleared. - -"Let me know if anything transpires," she said, and not happening to -remember exactly what "transpire" meant, I merely said that no doubt the -Doctor would tell her all that might happen in the future about -Bradwell. - -She shook hands in a kindly manner and saw me to the gate. And such was -her friendly spirit that she picked a small blue flower and gave it to -me to wear. - -"Put it in your buttonhole," she said, which I did do until I was out of -sight, and could chuck it away without hurting her feelings. - -The Doctor didn't seem to like what I had to say, and evidently thought -I hadn't got it right. - -"His aunt appears as callous as his guardian," said the Doctor. "I am -to understand that he went out on Sunday morning and did not return, and -that Miss Mason has not the slightest idea where he has gone to?" - -"That's what she made me understand, sir," I said. - -"I fail to credit it," answered the Doctor. Then he dismissed me, -rather slightingly, and sent for Brown, who always does the detective -business at Merivale. - -There was a good deal of quiet excitement about it, and, of course, we -all thought "Turbot" would be run to earth in a few hours, or days, at -most. But he never was; and though the police looked into the matter, -and hunted far and wide, they never even got a clue, because apparently -there wasn't one to get. In fact, "Turbot" vanished off the face of the -earth as far as Merivale was concerned; and it was a nine days' wonder, -as the saying is, and no light was ever thrown upon it till long -afterwards. The aunt was cross-examined by the police; but she knew -nothing, and cared less, as Brown said, for he cross-examined her also. -All she could say was that "Turbot" had gone out early, and not come -home in time for church, as she naturally expected a boy brought up at -Merivale to do. Which was one in the eye for Merivale. As for the -guardian, he offered a reward of ten pounds for the recovery of -"Turbot," and no more, which showed the market value of "Turbot" in that -guardian's opinion. - -The only person who really worried was the Doctor, and I believe he -didn't leave a stone unturned to rout up "Turbot." But all in vain. He -had entirely disappeared, and being so ordinary in appearance, without -any distinguishing marks, he simply "vanished into the void," as Tracey -said, and we sold his cricket bat at auction, and one or two other -things of slight value which we found in his school locker. But a -portrait of his mother we did not sell, and I gave it to the Doctor, who -sent it to the aunt, who was much obliged for it, and wrote to old -Dunston with great thanks, and said she would keep it until the happy -day when "Turbot" turned up out of the void again. And that, I believe, -made the Doctor more suspicious than ever, for he always believed that -Miss Mason knew more about the "Turbot" than she pretended. In fact, he -told Mr. Fortescue that she was prevaricating, and Fortescue said it -looked as though she might be. As a matter of fact, Fortescue had his -own theory about "Turbot," and though he never told anybody what it was -till afterwards, then he told everybody because he proved to be -perfectly right. - -This was that Fortescue, who wrote such splendid War poetry, but was -prevented from enlisting unfortunately by an illness of the aorta, which -is part of the heart, and, when enlarged, is fearfully dangerous. But -while he taught at Merivale, his soul was entirely in the War, and in -his spare time he did good work, chiefly at the Red Cross Hospital in -the town, where fifty wounded men were always on hand. When they got -well, they went and others came; and sometimes, when the War slacked -off, the numbers sank to thirty-two, or even thirty, and then, when it -burst out more fiercely, they quickly rose to fifty again. - -Milly Dunston was one of the workers there, but only for swank and the -sake of the uniform. I believe she peeled onions and shelled peas, and -cut up meat and so on in the kitchen; and sometimes she was allowed to -go and see the wounded; but I never heard that they cared much for her -until they knew she worked in the kitchen. Then they took interest in -her, because she could tell them what they were going to have for supper -that night, and what they were going to have for dinner next day, which, -naturally, are things very important to the mind of a wounded hero. - -Mr. Fortescue was well liked at the hospital, and took many cigarettes -there, also books suited to the Tommies, and he got to be so popular -that there was a fair fight for him; and if he favoured one ward, and -didn't go into the other for half the time, the other ward got vexed -about it, for Tommy has a jealous nature in some ways, though so heroic -in the field. - -Then there came rather a bad cot case called Ted Marmaduke, and as soon -as he arrived, he sent a special message to the school for me and for -Fortescue; and Fortescue went to see him. - -Of course, this happened long after I had left Merivale, and it was, in -fact, my brother who wrote to me about it; for after six months at -Woolwich, owing to luck and the War, and so on, I got a commission in -the Royal Engineers, and went to France. And there I heard from Travers -minor about the chap who wanted to see Fortescue. He had been wounded -in the cheek and also in the leg, and his face was almost hidden; but -his eyes were all right, and what was Fortescue's amazement to see the -eyes of Ted Marmaduke goggle in the old familiar way the moment he came -to his bedside. For there lay the "Turbot," and fearing that he was -going to die, he had determined to tell somebody the truth, and not die -anonymously, so to speak. And when he found he was at Merivale, of all -places, naturally he thought of Fortescue and me. But I was gone to do -my bit, so Fortescue went, and heard the true story of the wily -"Turbot." - -He could only tell it in pieces, because it hurt him awfully to talk, -and, in fact, he wasn't allowed to talk much at a time. But what -happened was this. He had gone to the aunt for his birthday, and told -her in secret that he hated Merivale worse than ever, and was ashamed to -be there, with a moustache and everything; and she was a very martial -and fine woman, and entirely agreed with him. She had told him that he -was just the sort they wanted in the Army, and that though he could not -distinguish himself at school, that was nothing at such a time, and she -felt positive that he would jolly soon distinguish himself in the Army, -and do things at the Front that would make Merivale fairly squirm to -remember how it had treated him. And such was the aunt's warlike -instinct that when he reminded her he was only seventeen, she scorned -him for remembering it. "Go to the recruiting people," she said, "on -your seventeenth birthday, which is to-morrow, and when they ask you how -old you are, say you'll be eighteen on your next birthday, which will be -true." And he gladly did so. But the aunt was fearfully crafty as well -as warlike, for when "Turbot" decided to go off and enlist at Plymouth -under his own name, she pointed out that he would instantly be traced by -Dr. Dunston, and ignominiously dragged back out of the Army to Merivale. -So she advised him to take a train to the North of England, and enlist -up there, which he did do. And he changed his name to Ted Marmaduke, -and the enlisting people in the North never smelt a rat, and were quite -agreeable to take him when he said he would be eighteen next birthday. -And such was the fine strategy of the aunt that she expressly made -"Turbot" promise not to write a line to her till he was under orders for -the Front. Therefore, when she was asked if she knew where he was, she -could honestly say she didn't. - -Of course, long before he came back wounded, he was entirely forgotten -at Merivale, and when Fortescue discovered him in our Red Cross -Hospital, and then confessed that he had always believed this was what -"Turbot" had really done, the excitement became great, and many of the -chaps asked to be allowed to go and see him, and some were allowed to do -so. - -But it was not till the "Turbot" had recovered, and was going back to -fight, that Dr. Dunston forgave him; and he never forgave the aunt. - -Yet that amazing aunt was more than a fine strategist; she was a prophet -also, for Fortescue found out in the papers that Ted Marmaduke, of the -3rd Yorkshires, was promoted a sergeant, and had won the D.C.M. for -splendid bravery in Gallipoli, just as his aunt had always prophesied he -would. Of course, she came to see him at the hospital, but she didn't -come to Merivale. - -When he got nearly right, the old "Turbot" took tea at Merivale, and the -Doctor let the past bury the past, as they say, and made a speech, and -hoped that the chaps would follow "Turbot's" lead in certain directions, -though not in all. But privately to the "Turbot" he said more than -this. In fact, he dug up the past again, and reminded "Turbot" that he -should not do evil that good may come. - -And "Turbot" quite saw this, and said he never would again. - -Then he went back to the wars once more, and had good luck, I'm glad to -say, and before he'd been a soldier eighteen months, he got his -commission. For though such a mug at school, the military instinct was -in him all the time, and the War naturally brought it out. When he -became Lieutenant Bradwell, his guardian tried to make friends again; -but he scorned him, as well he might, though no doubt he will always be -friendly with his crafty aunt, for you may say that he owed pretty well -everything to her masterly mind. - - - - - CORNWALLIS AND ME AND FATE - - -Dr. Dunston was always awfully great on the classic idea of Fate. He -made millions of efforts to make us understand it, but failed. Blades -said he understood it, and so did Abbott, and, of course, the Sixth said -they did. But they always pretend to understand everything, including -the War. Fate is the same as Greek tragedy, and a very difficult subject -indeed. - -Anyway, Cornwallis and me couldn't understand Fate, or how it worked -exactly, until that far-famous whole holiday and the remarkable -adventure which made Cornwallis and me blaze out into great fame, though -only for a short while. As long as it lasted, however, the fame was -wonderful; for the sudden, curious result of being somebody, after you -have for many years been nobody, not only leaves its mark on your own -character, but quite changes the opinion of other people about you, and -also the way they behave to you. Enemies slack off and even offer to -become friends, and people who have been your friends when you were -nobody, redouble in their affection, and even get a sort of feeble fame -themselves, owing to being able to approach you as a matter of course -and not as a favour. - -All this happened to Cornwallis and me; and though fame is said to have -a very bad effect on some people, and make them get above themselves, -like the Germans and Austrians, for instance, in our case, though -dazzling in its way, the fame died out almost as quickly as it sprang -up. In fact, to show you what people are, and what envy may do, just as -Cornwallis and me began to sink back into our usual obscurity in the -Lower Third, some beasts, such as Pegram and the master, Brown, said in -public that the whole excitement was a mild attack of hysteria and utter -footle, and that neither Cornwallis nor me had done anything but make -little asses of ourselves, and that it was all pure luck and not fame at -all. - -But, anyway, the adventure did this for Cornwallis and also for me--it -explained what the Doctor really meant by Fate; and afterwards we were -always tremendously keen about Fate, and spoke well of it, though -before, it had, if anything, rather bored us, because, at the age of -ten, your fate is generally so far off. Until the great adventure I -can't honestly say I had seen Fate bothering about Cornwallis, and he -had never seen it bothering in the least about me; but afterwards, -having, as you may say, got thoroughly to understand its ways, and its -special interest in us on a very important occasion--in fact, what you -might call a matter of life and death--we always felt a sharp interest -in it, and often noticed little marks of Fate at work both in school and -out--sometimes for us and sometimes for other people. Not, of course, -always for us, because, as Cornwallis said, and I agreed, we weren't -everybody, and when it came to prizes and getting into "elevens," and -other advantages, Fate undoubtedly favoured various chaps far more than -us. But as I pointed out to Cornwallis, after saving our lives in a -very ingenious and unexpected way, no doubt it had done enough for us -for some years, and intended to give us a rest. We both saw the -fairness of this, and did not complain in the least at our rather bad -failures in the Lower Third afterwards. But, curiously enough, Dr. -Dunston, though so well up in Greek tragedy and the ways of Fate as a -rule, missed this, and said our reports were a scandal and a source of -the utmost discomfort to him, and far from showing our gratitude to Fate -as we ought to have shown it after the terrible affair of "Foster Day." - -"Foster Day" was an important day at Merivale. It arose from the mists -of antiquity, as they say, because among the first pupils old Dunston -ever had, when he started Merivale, was a chap called Foster. He was -very rich, and his father lived at Daleham, on the sea coast, and had a -mansion and thousands of acres of land running down to the sea. This -Foster seems to have liked the Doctor, and been a great success at -Merivale; and his rich father evidently liked the Doctor, too, and so, -when young Foster had the bad luck to fall for his country in the Boer -War, the rich father Foster built a beautiful and precious chapel to his -memory at Daleham, and had his soldier son carved in pure marble and put -in the chapel. It was known as a memorial chapel, and simply couldn't -be beaten in its way. And, not content with doing this, the rich father -arranged with Dunston that fifty boys from Merivale should once every -year come to a service in this chapel, and, after the service was over, -be entertained in his grounds and on the sea-shore with games and -luscious foods. The Doctor fell in with this excellent plan readily, and -now for some years, on the seventh day of July, which was the day the -splendid young soldier Foster had fallen, fifty chaps from Merivale -drove over in brakes to Daleham and attended the memorial service, and -sang a hymn, and afterwards enjoyed themselves in the spacious grounds -and on the beach. For though not actually belonging to the rich old -Foster, the beach finished off his estates, and so he had a special sort -of right to it, and had built a boat-house, where he kept a steam launch -and other vessels. - -The day came round as usual, and, by rather exceptional luck, Cornwallis -and myself got into the fifty, for nobody was barred, and it was always -arranged that a certain number of chaps from the lower school should -join the giddy throng. So we went in white flannels and the school -blazers, little knowing what lay before us. - -The day was slightly clouded by the fact that Brown was the master who -took us, for Brown loves to display his power before strangers, and make -us look as small as possible in order that he may shine. But the great -Mr. Foster--though what he had done that was great I don't know--saw -through Brown with ease, and told him we must do what we liked, and have -a good time in every way--not, in fact, hampered by Brown. - -After the service in the chapel, where some good singing was done by us, -and a clergyman preached a rather longish sermon on duty and so on, the -solemn business of the day began, and we had an ample meal. When I tell -you that there were enough raspberries and cream for all, I need add no -more. If all those raspberries had been put in one pile, we should have -had "no small part of a mountain," as Virgil so truly says. - -The great thing after dinner was to go and bathe and ramble on the -shore. This was the time that Brown could be most easily escaped, and -as he had to keep his attention on the chaps who went swimming, those -who did not were able to enjoy themselves in various interesting ways. - -The tide was out, and, by a little dodging behind rocks, Cornwallis and -me, who did not bathe, were able gradually, as it were, to slip out of -the danger zone; which we did do. A magnificent and interesting beach -spread out before us, and we decided to explore it. So we retreated -fast for some distance till a cliff jutted out and entirely concealed -us, and then we went slower and explored as we went. Cornwallis had a -watch, and as there was no serious work on hand till tea at five -o'clock, we had more than two hours. - -We did some natural history, and found small pools full of marine -wonders, such as sea anemones and blenny fish, which in skilled hands -can be made as tame as white mice, and can live out of the sea between -tides. We also collected shells, and, much to my amusement, I collected -one shell which I thought was empty, until I felt a gentle crawling in -my trousers pocket, and discovered that a hermit crab lived in the -shell, and was frantically trying to escape. This, of course, I allowed -him to do, and no doubt he is puzzling to this day about what happened -to upset his usual life. - -On we went, and then the beach got narrower, and I said it was natural, -but Cornwallis thought not. He thought the tide was coming in, which -would account for the increasing narrowness of the beach. - -I said: - -"In that case, Cornwallis, we had better go back, because you can see, -by the marks on the cliffs, that the tide will come here in large -quantities, and, in fact, the water will be jolly deep." - -And Cornwallis said he supposed it would. The time also was getting on, -and we found it was past four. But, of course, we meant getting back -fast, with an occasional run, and had allowed half the time to get back -that we allowed to go out. - -We were just turning, after going a few hundred yards farther, when a -most interesting thing appeared. The cliffs hung over rather, and were -made of red sandstone, and very steep; but ahead of us was a ledge of -rock half-way up the cliff, and on it a mysterious little house made of -bits of old boat and painted with tar. It was extraordinary to see such -a thing in such a lonely spot, and Cornwallis, who is rather suspicious, -owing to the War and being a Boy Scout, wondered if it was all right. -Because, if you are once a Boy Scout, as Travers minor pointed out, you -are always a Boy Scout, and though you may not be scouting in a -professional sort of way, yet, if anything peculiar happens, or you get -a chance of doing good to the country, you must instantly look into it. - -So Cornwallis decided to go and examine this queer shed, and I went with -him. The door was open, but we saw no signs of life. It was a solid -building made of heavy timbers, and there was a padlock on the door. -Inside was a pleasant smell of tar and cobbler's wax and fish. It -seemed to belong to a mariner of some sort; but, on the other hand, what -mariner could possibly want to make his house in such a weird spot? -There was no bed or washing basin or chest of drawers, to show that the -stranger lived here, but there were many interesting things, including a -lobster-pot, a telescope, and a large lantern of the sort used on board -ship. - -I saw nothing peculiarly suspicious, but Cornwallis did. From the first -he took rather a serious view of it, and when he found a green tin full -of petrol, his face went white, and he said it was Fate. - -I said: - -"What the dickens do you mean, Cornwallis?" - -And he said: - -"I mean, Towler, that this is the hiding-place of a German spy. There's -a telescope with which he picks up periscopes, and there's a lamp, with -which he signals to the submarines by night, and there's the petrol he -takes to them to replenish their tanks. And this shows the Doctor was -right: you can get Fate in real life as well as Greek tragedies." - -And I said: - -"But the prawn-nets and fishing-lines and corks and paint, and so on?" - -And he said: - -"These things are merely blinds to distract the eye from the others." - -So I said: - -"Well, what are you going to do about it?" - -And he said: - -"I am going straight back, and after tea, or even before, I shall tell -the great Mr. Foster there is a pro-German traitor under his cliff, and -offer to show him the way to the spot." - -"I'll help," I said. "But the thing is to be careful, and surprise the -spy at his work." - -Just as I said these words, curiously enough, the spy surprised us, and -we found ourselves in a position that wanted enormous presence of mind. -Suddenly we heard the sound of heavy feet outside, and as there was only -one way up to the hut, it was clear we could not escape without being -seen. And if seen, of course, our object was lost, for the spy would -make a bolt of it. - -The question was where to hide, and, by the best possible luck, there -was a chance to do so. A big tarpaulin hung on a nail on the side of -the hut, and it was of great size, and came nearly to the ground, while -at its feet was a seaman's box. Owing to the fortunate smallness of -Cornwallis and me, there was ample room for concealment behind the -tarpaulin, and our feet were hidden by the box. So we got behind it and -hardly dared to breathe, though, just before the traitor came in, -Cornwallis had time to whisper to me: - -"If he's come for his tarpaulin coat, we're done for, and he'll very -likely kill us!" - -And I whispered to him: - -"Be hopeful. Fate may be on our side, and it's not the weather for a -tarpaulin coat, anyway." - -Then the spy came in, and though I was not able to see him, Cornwallis, -by a lucky chance, got a buttonhole of the coat level with his eye, and -saw the fearful spectacle of the spy. - -He was a dreadful object, with wickedness fairly stamped on him, so -Cornwallis said afterwards. He was a big man with humpbacked shoulders -and a cocoanut-like head, far too small for his body and legs. He was -grey, and had a shaggy beard and a wide mouth that showed his teeth. -These were broken and black. His nose was flat and small, and his eyes -rolled in his head as he looked round his hut. They were black and -ferocious to a most savage extent. He kept making a snorting sound, -which was his manner of breathing. He wore dirty white trousers and a -jersey, and upon his feet were dirty canvas shoes. He had no hat, and -he didn't look the sort of person that Fate would be interested in. But -you never know. He suspected nothing, and had not seen us come in, -which was the great fear in my mind. - -The creature did not stop long, yet long enough to give himself away for -ever as a spy, for he took one of the green tins of petrol, and then, -saying some English swear words to himself of the worst kind, went out -and slammed the door behind him. We nearly shouted with joy, but a -moment later our joy was changed into the most terrible sorrow, because -the spy fastened the door behind him. We heard a chain rattle and a -padlock click, so there we were, entirely at the mercy of a creature -evidently quite dead to pity in every way. This was, of course, Fate -again, as Cornwallis pointed out. - -There was a window about a foot square high up in the roof of the hut, -and when the spy shut the door and locked us in, everything became dark -excepting for the light from this narrow window. Therefore, when we were -sure our enemy had gone, and there was not a sound outside, I got on to -a table, and Cornwallis climbed on my back, from which he was able to -look out through the window. Luckily it faced the sea, and Cornwallis -reported that the sea had come a great deal nearer, and that the spy was -only about fifty yards off. He stood on a sort of pier of rocks, and -was pulling in a rope to which was attached a small motor-boat. - -Then naturally I wanted to get on Cornwallis's shoulders, but he told me -not to move for a moment. Then he said that the spy had got into the -boat and was evidently going to sea. And then he said he had gone. - -I next climbed on to Cornwallis, and so proved the truth of his words, -for I distinctly saw the motor-boat speed off with the spy in it. I -also saw that the tide had come in, and soon it was actually beating -against the rocks twenty-five feet or so below us. - -When the motor-boat had disappeared in a westerly direction, Cornwallis -and me got down off the table and considered what we ought to do. - -"The first thing is to make every possible effort to escape at any -cost," I said. But he said that he had already thought of that, and -felt pretty certain it was beyond our power. The window seemed the only -hopeful place; but it was made not to open, and the glass was thick, and -Cornwallis said we couldn't have got through the hole, even if there had -been no glass. But I said: - -"It is well known, Cornwallis, that if a man can get his head through a -hole, he can get his body through." - -And he said: - -"It isn't well known at all. You might because you have got a head like -a tadpole, but I couldn't." - -I said I was sure I had read it somewhere, but, anyway, it didn't -matter. We examined the hut thoroughly, and found it was only too well -and solidly made. We were utter prisoners, in fact, and, owing to the -spy not knowing it, might very likely be left to die of starvation. He -might even have gone to join a submarine, and never come back. - -"Perhaps he does know we are here all the time," said Cornwallis. -"Perhaps he spotted us, and pretended he didn't. In that case he may -have locked us in deliberately to starve us, not caring to waste a shot -on us." - -This thought depressed us a good deal, and presently the sun sank and -the light began to fade, and a seagull that settled outside on the roof -uttered a melancholy and doleful squawk. - -Of course, we were far from despairing yet, and Cornwallis made a -cheerful remark, and reminded me that if we had eaten our last meal on -earth, at any rate it was a jolly good one. - -And I said: - -"There may be food concealed here, for that matter. We'd better have a -good hunt, and look into every hole and corner before it is dark." - -This we did without success. There were many strange things there, -including pieces of wreckage, a bit of an old ship's steering-wheel, and -a brass bell with a ship's name on it; but there was nothing eatable -excepting some fish to bait a lobster-pot; and the fish hadn't been -caught yesterday, and we had by no means reached the stage of exhaustion -in which we could regard it as food. - -Cornwallis said: - -"As a matter of fact, our great enemy will be thirst. I am frightfully -thirsty already, for that matter." - -And I said: - -"So am I, now you mention it." - -As the light died away, we held a sort of a council, and tried to decide -what exactly was our duty--to England firstly, and to ourselves -secondly. We talked a good deal, until our voices grew queer to -ourselves, and it all came back to the same simple fact--our duty was to -get out, and we couldn't. - -Then I had the best idea that had yet come to us. - -I said: - -"As we can't get out, we must try and get somebody in the outer world to -let us out. The only question is, shall we attract anybody but the spy -if we raise an alarm?" - -Cornwallis said of course that was the question; but it didn't matter, -because we couldn't raise an alarm. - -I said: - -"If we howl steadily together once every sixty seconds by your watch, -like a minute-gun at sea, somebody is bound to hear sooner or later." - -And he said: - -"Far from it, Towler. We shall only tire ourselves out, and get hungry, -as well as thirsty, for no good. Our voices wouldn't go any distance -through these solid walls, and, even if they did, we are evidently in a -frightfully lonely and secluded place, miles and miles from -civilization, else the spy wouldn't have chosen it for his operations." - -I admitted this, but we did try a yell or two. The result was feeble, -and I myself said that if any belated traveller heard it, he would only -murmur a prayer and cross himself, and hurry on, like they do in books. -Then Cornwallis decided to break the window. He didn't know why -exactly, but he felt he wanted to be up and doing in a sort of way. -Besides, it was beastly fuggy in the spy's den; so we broke the window -with a boat-hook, and I got on the shoulders of Cornwallis and had a -good yell through it; but no answer came. - -Then another idea struck me, and it was undoubtedly this idea that saved -the situation. We got the old ship's bell and hung it up on a rope as -near the window as possible, and hammered it with the boat-hook, taking -turns of five minutes each. - -This created an immense volume of sound, and though, of course, it was -more--far more--likely to bring the spy back than anybody else, we had -now reached a pitch of despair, and would have even welcomed the spy in -a sort of way. Cornwallis from time to time still worried about our -duty, but I had long passed that, for it was nine o'clock. So at last I -told him to shut up and hit the bell harder. - -It was now quite dark, and from time to time heavy drops of rain fell -through the window. The sea-going lamp would have been very useful now, -for we might have signalled with it; but though there was an oil-lamp in -it, we had no matches, and it was therefore useless. - -Then, in a lull, when I was handing over the boat-hook to Cornwallis, -whose turn it was to hammer the bell, we distinctly heard the stealthy -sound of the motor-boat returning, and Cornwallis, mounting my -shoulders, and nearly breaking my neck in his excitement, reported a red -light below. - -Then he heard several harsh voices. - -Cornwallis said: - -"We are now probably done for, Towler. The spy has evidently been to a -submarine, and he's heard the bell, and you can pretty easily guess what -submarine Germans will do to us. In fact, our Fate is right bang off." - -I said: - -"Surely they wouldn't kill two kids like us?" - -And he said: - -"Killing kids is their chief sport. They can't be too young--from -babies upward." - -So it looked pretty putrid in every way, and it wouldn't be true, and it -wouldn't be believed, if I said Cornwallis and me weren't in the funk of -our lives. - -But the awful moments didn't last long, for, almost before the padlock -was undone, what should we hear but the well known yelp of Brown! - -Our first thought was that the crew of a German submarine had also got -Brown; but even in our present condition we felt that was too mad. All -the same, when he actually appeared, with two other men and the spy, he -looked such a ghastly object, and was so white and wild, that it seemed -clear that he was in a mess of some kind. - -What he said when we both appeared in the lantern light was: - -"Thank God!" - -For the first and last time in his life he was apparently glad to see -us. But after this expression of joy, he instantly became beastly, and, -in fact, so much so, that a man behind him, who did not fear him, told -him not to talk so roughly to us at such a moment. - -This man turned out to be no less a man than the great Mr. Foster -himself, and he explained to us that we had put everybody to frightful -anxiety and distress, and that, in fact, he had feared the worst. - -This much surprised us, and what surprised us still more was Mr. -Foster's attitude to the spy, for he called him "Joe," and treated him -in a most friendly manner. - -We all went back to the motor-boat, and while it tore away to the -landing-place under Mr. Foster's beach, we told our story. During this -narrative, which was listened to very carefully, the man called Joe made -several remarks of a familiar nature, which showed he was not in the -least afraid of anybody, and we found out later that he was an old and -trusted servant of Mr. Foster's, who lived at Daleham, and who managed -Mr. Foster's motorboat, and caught lobsters for him and fish of many -kinds, and was, in fact, a sort of family friend of long standing. It -was admitted, however, that Joe was very queer to look at, and also odd -in his ways. This arose entirely from his peculiar Fate, because Fate -had had a dash at him too, and when a young man, he had once gone out -fishing, and returned to find that during his absence his wife had run -away for ever with another mariner. This was such a surprise to him -that it had quite turned his head for a time, and, in fact, he had been -odd ever since. - -Having told our tale, we ventured to ask why everybody had feared the -worst, and Mr. Foster explained the situation, and showed what a -splendid and remarkable bit of work Fate had really done for Cornwallis -and me. - -He said: - -"What did you intend to do when you left Joe's hut?" - -And I said: - -"We were going to tear back along the beach, sir, and give the alarm, -because we thought he was a pro-German spy." - -Joe gurgled at this, but did not condescend to answer. - -"And do you know what would have happened in that case?" asked Mr. -Foster. - -"You would have explained to us that we were on a false scent, sir," -said Cornwallis. - -"No, my child, I should not," answered Mr. Foster, "for the very good -reason that I should never have seen either of you again alive. Nor -would anybody else. If you had started to go back by the beach, you -would both have been overtaken by the tide and most certainly been -drowned." - -"Crikey!" said Cornwallis under his breath to me. - -"Yes," continued the good and great Mr. Foster, "if Joe here, quite -ignorant of the fact that you were trespassing in his store shed, had -not turned the key upon you both, you would neither of you be alive to -tell your story now." - -Somehow we never thought we were trespassing, but doing our duty to -England. It just shows how different a thing looks from different -points of view. - -"You ought to be very thankful," said Mr. Foster, "and I hope this -terrible experience will leave its mark in your hearts, my boys. You -have been spared a sad and untimely death, and I trust that the memory -of this night will help you both to justify your existence in time to -come." - -We said we trusted it would. - -Then Brown, of course, put in his oar. - -"And if you had used your eyes, Towler and Cornwallis, as I have tried -so often to make you," he squeaked, "you would have seen a notice on the -cliff warning people not to go beyond a certain point, as the tides were -very dangerous." - -"We were studying the wonders of Nature, sir," I answered, in rather a -sublime tone of voice, because this was no time for sitting on -Cornwallis and me. And just then the motor-boat came to shore, and it -was found that we could catch the last train back to Daleham. So we -caught it. Of course, all the other chaps had gone back in the brakes -ages ago. - -Mr. Foster blessed us, before the train started, in a very affectionate -and gentlemanly way; but Brown did not bless us on the journey back. In -fact, he said that he should advise the Doctor to flog us. We preserved -a dignified silence. He couldn't send a telegram on in advance, as the -office was shut, and therefore, when we arrived at Merivale, it was -rather triumphant in a way, and the news of our safe return created a -great sensation. In the excitement, food for us was overlooked -entirely, until Cornwallis told the matron we had had nothing to eat -since dinner. Food was then provided. The Doctor said very little -until the following day, and then he told the whole story to the school -after morning prayers; and not until we heard it from him did we realize -what a good yarn it really was. - -But nothing was done against us, much to Brown's disappointment, and -from the way he hated Cornwallis and me afterwards, I believe he got -ragged in private for not keeping his eye on us. - -We wrote a very sporting letter to Mr. Foster, and said we should not -forget his great kindness as long as we lived; and we also wrote home -and scared up ten pounds for Joe, because he had locked us up and saved -our lives. It was an enormous lot of money, and far beyond what we -expected. My father sent five, and the mother of Cornwallis also sent -five; and Cornwallis truly said it showed that my father and his mother -mast think much more highly of our lives than they had ever led us to -believe. - -In fact, so excited was the mother of Cornwallis about it that she -couldn't wait till the end of the term, but had to come and see him and -kiss him, and realize that he was still all there. But my father waited -till the end of the term for me. - -He is rather a hard sort of man, compared to such a man as Mr. Foster, -for instance; and when I did go home and explained all about what Fate -had done, he said he hoped that I would not give Fate cause to regret -it--at any rate, during the summer holidays. - - - - - FOR THE RED CROSS - - -Of course, being for the Red Cross, we were jolly well paid for all our -trouble by knowing what a tremendous lift we had given the Red Cross in -general; but somehow we felt that, if anything, too much was made of the -wonderful result, and too little of us, who had done it. - -Because, you see, if a chap in the trenches covers himself with glory, -as they so often do, it is noted down to the chap's credit, and he gets -a D.C.M., or D.S.O., or a V.C.; but in our case, as Tracey rather neatly -put it, we weren't so much as mentioned in dispatches, and the bitter -irony was that Merivale fairly rung with the fame of Dr. Dunston, -whereas the truth was that we did everything, and Dunston, far from -urging us on, really threw cold water on the whole show, and, up to the -last moment, feared we were in for a grisly failure, instead of a most -extraordinary success. - -There was a good deal of difference of opinion afterwards as to who -sprang the idea, and, on the whole, I don't think any one chap could -take the credit. It was too big a thing for one chap's mind, and you -might say nearly everybody in the Fifth and Sixth had a hand in it. It -grew and grew till it reached the stage of asking Dr. Dunston; and after -he had conferred with Brown and Fortescue and old Peacock, he -reluctantly agreed; and then it grew by leaps and bounds till it became -the wonderful thing it was. - -The idea was to give an entertainment for the funds of the Red Cross, -and Blades believed it would be a better and finer entertainment if we -did it absolutely on our own, without any help from the masters -whatever. A few faint-hearted chaps thought not; but they were -overruled, for, as Briggs pointed out, there was no entertaining power -whatever in the masters. The only one who would have been any good in -that way was Hutchings, who sang remarkably well in a bass voice of -great depth; but he was at the War, and none of the others had any gift -that could lure a paying audience. No doubt they might have tried, but, -as Tracey said, you couldn't ask people to pay good money just for the -doubtful pleasure of seeing them trying. So it was settled that as -there was a great deal of mixed power of amusing an audience in the -school, we could do it without any assistance; and Fortescue supported -this, and advised the Doctor that we should be given a free hand; but -Peacock, of all people, doubted, and Brown, who wanted to shine himself -in some way, thought we ought to have him and Fortescue to give a -backbone to the show. What he was prepared to do, by way of backbone, -we didn't ask; what he did do, when the time came, was to show the -people to their seats, and his evening-dress, which we had not seen -before, was worth all the money, if not more. - -Anyway, Fortescue got the Doctor to let us do everything without help, -and the end justified the means, as Saunders very truly said, though at -one time it rather looked as if it might not. - -It was announced in public that the scholars of Merivale were going to -give an entertainment for the Red Cross before Christmas breaking up, -and, when all was decided, we had two clear months for the preparations. -Owing to the War and one thing and another, we didn't have much football -that term, and the show got to be the great idea in everybody's mind--so -much so, in fact, that owing to an utter breakdown in geography in the -Lower Fourth, there was a threat from headquarters that the whole thing -would be knocked on the head if the work was going to suffer. - -So we gave the Lower Fourth some advice on the subject, and told them -not one of them should do anything if they didn't buck up. - -Of course, the great problem was, who should be in the show and who -should not. That was a question for the Sixth, and it proved a very -difficult problem, because there were immense stores of talent at -Merivale, and some of the chaps best fitted to entertain a paying -audience by their great gifts absolutely refused to appear; whereas, -strangely enough, others, quite useless in every way, were death on -appearing. We even had one or two letters from mothers, written to "The -Committee of the Merivale Concert," fairly grovelling to us to let their -sons do something. Of course, we ignored these, though Pegram, with his -usual strategy, advised us to give young Tudor a show of some sort, -because his mother and father were worth many thousands, and would -doubtless buy dozens of front seats if Tudor did anything publicly. - -So in one item of the performance, which was a scene from "The Merchant -of Venice," we let Tudor and certain other kids come on in the crowd. We -also let Cornwallis and Towler sing a duet--not so much because it was a -thing to pay to hear, but because of their great adventure on Foster -Day, when by a fluke they weren't drowned, and so possessed a passing -interest in Merivale. - -The programme needed a fearful lot of thought, and we altered it many -times. The first programme would have taken about three days to get -through, and Tracey said, as it wasn't a Wagner Cycle, we'd better try -and cram the show into three hours; and Briggs said there would be -encores, which must be allowed for; and I remembered that there must be -an interval, because on these occasions women want something to drink -about half-way through, and men want both to drink and smoke also. And -if they are prevented from doing these things, they often turn against -the performance, and the last state of that show is worse than the -first. - -I am Thwaites, by the way, and, like Percy minor, I hope that I may go -on the stage some day, being much inclined to do so. But his father is -a professional actor, and so he has a better chance than me, mine being -a Government official in London, who never goes to the theatre, always -being too tired to do anything after his day's work. I recite when I -get the chance, and have already acted several times; I also write -poems. I did not push myself forward in the least, it was agreed, by a -sort of general understanding, except in the mind of Percy minor, that I -should play Shylock in the trial scene from "The Merchant of Venice." -And Williams, who is pretty, and had many a time been rotted for his -girl-like eyes and eyelashes, now found that his hour had come, for he -was going to play Portia; and we hoped his beautiful appearance might -carry him through, though at rehearsal it was only too apparent his -acting would not. - -The first part of the show was to end with the Shakespearean -impersonation; but this was not all, though, of course, the cream of the -night. We had in the second half an original satire in one act written -by Tracey, and entitled "The White Feather." This would be the -concluding item, and as we finally decided that we would have twelve -separate items, that left ten to find. - -There were some obvious things, like Percy minimus, who had a ripping -voice, and was accustomed to singing both in and out of chapel. So, -knowing he was considered class, we put him down for a song; and the -school glee singers were also rather well thought of, and we gave them -two items. This only left seven performances, and after we had -subtracted most of the chaps who were going to perform in the plays, -there was still an immense amount of mixed ability to choose from. - -Of course, Rice had to be in it, though, in his usual sporting way, he -said he could do nothing. But as he was the best boxer in the school, -and almost as good as a professional "fly" weight, we felt no show would -be complete without him, and it was arranged he should box three -exhibition rounds with Bassett. - -As Briggs said, with people who pay money, you must give everybody -something they will like; and though the people who would come to see -Shakespeare acted might not be at all the same people who would come to -see Rice hammer Bassett, yet there it was--we didn't want to disappoint -anybody, because the great thing with a successful entertainment is to -make everybody thoroughly feel that they have had their money's worth, -as Mitchell pointed out. He was going to take the money, and sit in the -box and give out the tickets. He could have done other things, but -chose that himself, having great natural ability in everything of a -financial sort. And as all the tickets were numbered, we felt it was -safe. Besides, for the Red Cross, nobody would let his financial -ability lead him astray, so to speak. - -Percy minor, the son of the famous professional actor, also wished to -play Shylock, but was put down for a comic song--an art in which he -excelled. And Tracey wanted to write it for him and make it topical; -but we knew Tracey's satire, and felt it would not do. Besides, he'd -already written a whole play, as it was, and was performing the chief -part in it, so we let Percy minor choose his own song, and he chose one -of Albert Chevalier's, which blended pathos and humour in a very -wonderful way, but was difficult. This left five items, and it seemed -almost a shame to leave out so much talent; but we finally decided on -Abbott for a conjuring entertainment--him being a flyer at that art--and -on Nicholas, who has the great gift of lightning calculation, though, -strange to say, a fool in everything else. He stands with his back to a -blackboard, and can divide or add in his head; and if you read him out -ten figures, and then ten more to subtract from them, he can do it in a -moment. And no doubt he will make his living in this way, though it is -a science that is utterly useless in the world at large. - -Allowing for Cornwallis and Towler, there were only two items left, and -I had the good luck to remember there was, so far, nothing about the Red -Cross in the whole show; so we asked Fortescue if he would allow a -recitation of his famous poem on that subject, and he consented if he -was allowed to coach the boy who did it. We gladly agreed to this, and -Forrester was decided upon for the boy, though he would rather have -given his well known and remarkable imitations of natural sounds, such -as a cock crowing, or a bottle of ginger beer popping, or a man with a -cold in his head, or a distant military band. It was decided, -therefore, that if Forrester got an encore, he might give the -imitations; but he didn't, so they were unfortunately lost, though many -a paying audience would have liked them better than the recitation, -splendid as it was. - -For the last item of all it was almost impossible to choose between -about ten chaps, and at last, after voting in secret several times, the -Sixth got it down to young Hastings, who could play the fiddle in a -manner seldom heard from a kid of nine years old, and Weston, who was -prepared to black his face and play his banjo. Finally we decided for -Weston, because he was the eldest, and would be leaving next term but -one, whereas Hastings, being only nine, was bound to have many future -chances of appearing with his fiddle. - -So that was the programme, and even when drawn out and written down, it -was pretty staggering, but when actually printed in regular programme -form, it was wonderful, and for my part I didn't see how the big -schoolroom would hold half the people who were bound to come. In fact, -I suggested giving two, or even three, performances on consecutive -nights, but this was not approved of. - -Being, as you may say, historical, I will here insert the programme. -The price was threepence, or what you liked to give above that sum. -Many gave more; some got copies for nothing, owing to the programme kids -losing their heads about change. It appeared in this way on pink paper, -faintly scented, and nothing was charged for the scenting by the -printers, so I suppose the scent was their contribution to the Red Cross -Fund. - - - FOR THE RED CROSS - -On the seventeenth day of December next, by kind permission of Dr. -Dunston, the scholars of Merivale will give the following entertainment -in the Great Hall of Merivale School at 7.30 p.m. Doors open at seven -o'clock. But reserved seats may be booked, and a plan of the room seen -at Messrs. Tomson's, No. 4, High Street, Merivale. - - THE PROGRAMME - -1. Song by Percy Minimus (son of the world-famous actor, Thomas Percy). - -2. Conjuring by Abbott (using live rabbits, live goldfish, etc.). - -3. Three Rounds of Exhibition Boxing by Rice (Fly-weight Champion) and -Bassett. N.B.--The rounds will be of two minutes' duration. - -4. Glee Singing by the School Glee Singers. - -5. Recitation, "The Cross of Red." Words (published in "The Times" -newspaper) by Mr. Fortescue of Merivale School. Reciter, Forrester. - -6. The Trial Scene from "The Merchant of Venice," by William -Shakespeare. Dramatis Personae as follows: - -Shylock. Thwaites. -The Duke. Pegram. -Antonio. Saunders. -Bassanio. Preston. -Gratiano. Percy Minor. -Salerio. Travers Minor. -Nerissa. Percy Minimus. -Portia. Williams. - - Magnificoes. - Tudor, Forbes Minimus, Hastings, and five others. - Scene: Venice. A Court of Justice. - - N.B.--The scene will conclude with the exit of Shylock. - - _An Interval of Ten Minutes._ - - - PART II - -7. Glee Singing by the School Glee Singers. - - ("The Three Chafers," by request.) - -8. Comic Song. Percy Minor (son of the great actor, Thomas Percy). - -9. Lightning calculation. Nicholas (introduced by Thwaites. Must be -seen to be believed). - -10. Coon Interlude with Banjo. Weston. - -11. Duet. Towler and Cornwallis (both nearly drowned last summer on -Foster Day). - -12. A Satire in One Act by Tracey, entitled "The White Feather." - -Dramatis Personae. - -Captain Harold Vansittart Maltravers, V.C. Tracey. -General Sir Henry Champernowne, K.C.B. Blades. -A Policeman. Briggs. -Miss Sophia Flapperkin. Williams. - -Scene: Trafalgar Square. Time: The Present. - - _GOD SAVE THE KING._ - Booking Office: Mitchell. - - -Well, that was the programme, and, seeing the front seats were only half -a crown, there didn't seem much chance of anybody not getting their -money's worth. - -I could say a great deal about the rehearsals, which were very -difficult, owing to the question of scenery; and finally, after many -suggestions, we decided merely to have wings, and leave the rest to the -imagination, because we couldn't get within miles of a court in Venice, -and Trafalgar Square was equally out of the question. And Percy minor -said that really classy stage managers, like Granville Barker, relied -less and less on scenery, and that the very highest art was to go back -to Elizabethan times, and just stick up what the scene was on a curtain; -and if people didn't like it, they could do the other thing. So we went -back to Elizabethan times. But we had a professional man from Plymouth -to make us up for Shakespeare, and he did it professionally, and we were -rather dazzled ourselves at what we looked like on the night. Seen -close, you're awful, but, of course, it's all right from the front. - -The dresses for Shakespeare were also professional, and we had help, for -without the matron and Nelly Dunston and Minnie Dunston, and a maid or -two, the dresses would not have fitted, and so caused derision. But -they did well, and we looked very realistic, though my Jewish gaberdine -was too long to the last. However, nobody noticed, though naturally -they did notice when Antonio's beard carried away, and it spoilt the -pathos, because some fools laughed, instead of taking no notice, as any -decent chaps would have. - -Well, of course, the excitement was to see how the half-crown seats went -off at Tomson's, and they weren't gone in a moment, by any means. You -could book both half-crowners and eighteen-pennies, which came next, and -people put off their booking a good deal. But when the programme was -out, the booking improved, and five people booked in one day. It was -rather interesting to hear who had booked, and Mitchell was allowed to -go to the shop every morning after school to know how things were going. -Sir Neville Carew, from the Manor House, took five half-crown seats in -the front row, and Dr. Dunston himself took the next five. This news, -we greeted with mingled feelings, yet, as Mitchell pointed out, he might -have had them for nothing, which was true. The masters all took -half-crown seats dotted about the big hall, and when Briggs asked Brown -why they had done this, instead of sitting together, Brown said: "To -applaud your efforts, Briggs, and suggest a consensus of opinion if we -can." As a matter of fact, we didn't want their wretched applause when -the time came, for we got plenty without it. - -The most sensational person to take a half-crown seat was old Black, -from next door. He had always been our greatest enemy, and hated us, -and he never gave anything back that went over his wall, and made us pay -instantly if we did any damage, or broke a pane of glass, or anything; -yet there he was. He sat in the second row, and not a muscle moved from -first to last, and he never clapped once. Yet, extraordinary to say, -the most remarkable thing about the whole performance had to do with old -Black, though the amazing affair didn't come out till next morning. - -Mitchell calculated that, if every seat was taken, we should clear -thirty-four pounds odd, and he rather hoped the programmes would bring -it up to thirty-six. From that, however, had to be subtracted the cost -of the dresses and the professional man from Plymouth, and also the cost -of the programmes and the piano man. It looked as if we should be good -for a clear thirty pounds; but only if the house was full. - -Happy to relate, it was, and many people who did not book at all, came -and took their tickets at the door, and the one bob part was packed. In -fact, a good many stood all through, including those interested in -Merivale in humble ways, such as the tuck-woman and the ground-man and -the drill-sergeant, and many other such-like people. When, therefore, -after the interval for refreshments, Dr. Dunston got up and said we had -taken thirty-seven pounds four shillings, there was great cheering, and -most did not hide their surprise. - -A reporter came from _The Merivale Trumpet_ and Mitchell saw that he had -plenty of refreshments for nothing, because this is expected by -reporters, and much depends on it. He ate and drank well, so we -naturally hoped for a column or two about the show; but the cur wrote a -most feeble account in three inches of type, and gave all the praise to -Dr. Dunston, so I need not repeat what he said. - -The truth was as follows, and I shall take the programme by its items, -and be perfectly fair about it. I won't pretend everything went off as -well as we hoped, and some of the chaps didn't come off at all; but, on -the other hand, many did, and the failures also got a friendly greeting. -And even if you make a person laugh quite differently from what you -expected, it's better than if he doesn't laugh at all. Besides, we had -to remember that everybody had paid solid cash, so it wasn't like a free -show, where people have got to be pleased, or pretend to be. Because, -when you have paid your money, you are free to display your feelings; -and if people in a paying audience are such utter bounders as to laugh -in the wrong places, there's no law against it, and the performers must -jolly well stick it as best they can. - -Well, of course, Percy minimus was a certainty, and the start was -excellent. In fact, some people wanted to encore him; but this did not -happen--though he would have sung again--because the live rabbit which -Abbott had borrowed from Bellamy for his illusions broke loose and -dashed on to the platform. So when the audience expected Percy back, -instead there appeared a large, lop-eared white rabbit with a brown -behind. It looked, of course, as if Abbott had already begun to -conjure, and, in fact, had turned Percy into a lop-eared rabbit. -Anyway, the people were so much interested that they stopped encoring -Percy, and seemed inclined to encore the bewildered rabbit. Then Abbott -appeared and caught the rabbit, which had rather ruined his show by -appearing in this way; and Vernon and Montgomery, who were his -assistants, brought on the magic table, with various objects arranged -upon it for the tricks. Unfortunately, Abbott was very nervous, which is -a most dangerous thing for a conjuror to be, and tricks which he would -have done to perfection during school hours, or in the home circle, so -to say, got fairly mucked up before the paying audience. He put on an -appearance of great ease, but he couldn't manage his voice, and he -forgot his "patter," and he also forgot how to palm, and kept dropping -secret things at awkward moments, and making footling jokes to hide his -confusion. The people were frightfully kind and patient, and that made -him worse. I believe, if they had hissed, it might have bucked him up. - -He forced a card, as he thought, on old Black, and after messing about -with a pistol and an orange and a silk handkerchief and some unseen -contrivances, he made the ace of spades appear in a bouquet of imitation -flowers, and then challenged old Black to show his card, which he did -do, and it unfortunately turned out to be the four of hearts. This -fairly broke Abbott, and when it came to bringing the lop-eared rabbit -out of a borrowed hat, every soul in that paying audience saw him put it -in first. It is true he tried to conceal it in a mass of other things -under a huge flag, supposed to be the Union Jack; but the rabbit, who -had never been conjured with before, and hated it, kicked violently and -defied concealment, so to say. However, Abbott got a lot of trick -flowers and vegetables and about half a mile of yellow ribbon into the -hat at the same time as the rabbit, and the audience had not seen him do -this, so they were slightly mystified, and applauded in a weary sort of -way. He finished up by bringing a bowl of goldfish out of a dice with -white spots on it, and, though there was no great deception, it passed -off safely for the goldfish. Then Abbott bowed and cleared out; and, -thanks to Fortescue, who is fond of Abbott, and said "Bravo!" and tried -to work up some applause, there was no absolute blank when he had done. -But Montgomery and Vernon, who had to clear up the debris afterwards, -got one of the best laughs of the night, because they became fearfully -entangled in the yellow ribbon, and thoughtless people were a good deal -amused to see it. - -Then came Rice and Bassett in shorts, with a new pair of boxing gloves. -A chair was put in each corner of the stage, and the seconds stood by -the chairs. It was all pure science, but only a few chaps at the back -appreciated them, and when, as bad luck would have it, Rice tapped -Bassett's ruby in the first round, the women part of the audience -gurgled, and gave little yelps and screams. It was nothing, but -evidently appeared strange and dreadful to them; so the Doctor stopped -the exhibition, and that item can be put down as an utter failure. -Perhaps it was a silly thing to have arranged for a mixed audience; but -we had to think of Rice's feelings, and we also knew that scores of -countesses and duchesses go to see Carpentier and Wells, and such like -in real fights, so we little dreamed anybody would squirm at a harmless -exhibition bout that wouldn't have shaken a flea. But it was so, and -consequently the glee singers were a great relief, and while they -warbled their simple lays, the female part of the audience recovered. -Of course, we Thespians did not see any of these things, as we were all -making up for the great Trial Scene. - -Forrester got fair applause for Fortescue's fine poem, but nothing -special. As a matter of fact, he forgot the third verse, which was the -best, and doubtless Fortescue felt very sick about it; but he was -powerless to do anything, though he never much liked Forrester after. - -Then came the grand item, and it was good in every way, and went very -smoothly till just the end. Of course, I can't say anything about my -rendition of Shylock--in fact, I didn't feel I had gripped the audience -in the least--but chaps told me you might have heard a pin drop, and -nobody recognized me who knew me, and many of the people in the audience -thought it was one of the masters, and not a boy at all. Pegram rather -overacted the Duke, which is a part that merely wants stateliness, and -no acting; but he would act, and so forgot his words and hung us up once -or twice. In fact, Pegram was not good; but Antonio, by Saunders, was a -very thoughtful performance, and so was Bassanio, by Preston. Percy -minor certainly came off as Gratiano, and unfortunately he acted so -jolly well that, in one of his fearful scores off me, I forgot the -dignified pathos of Shylock, and laughed. It was a new reading, in a -way, but I didn't mean to laugh, and it did a lot of harm, because after -that the audience wouldn't take me seriously, though before, I believe, -most of them had. It spoiled the illusion of the scene. Portia, in the -hands of Williams, was most beautiful to see, but, from the art point of -view, awful. He got out his words, however, and just at the end, before -my exit, Minnie Dunston, who had plotted it with him in secret, threw -him a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, and the fool picked it up and -said out loud: "Thank you, Minnie!" Of course, after that, my exit went -for nothing, and when it was over, I punched his head behind the scenes, -while in front people were laughing themselves silly. We got two calls, -and it shows what a force the drama really is, because in the second -half of the programme nobody cared a button about such excellent things -as Percy minor's comic song; and though Towler and Cornwallis were -mildly applauded, it was only because they happened to be still alive -and not dead; and the lightning calculations of Nicholas didn't even -tempt many men to come away from the refreshments. I dare say many of -them were very poor, and had to make so many lightning calculations -themselves, owing to the War, that they weren't specially interested in -what Nicholas could do. But for Tracey's play they all came, and such -applause was never heard within the walls of Merivale; which shows that -the drama still holds its own. The idea of "The White Feather" was -certainly very original, and the dialogue very satirical. As the girl -with the white feathers, Williams appeared again--in a dress lent him by -Minnie Dunston. This was too small in some places and too big in -others; but thanks to a huge female hat and a wig of golden hair, -Williams made a very fair flapper, though inches too tall for such a -creature. He gave a feather to Captain Maltravers, V.C., from -Gallipoli, who was in mufti; and Tracey, with an eyeglass--which he -manages fairly well--and a moustache, was frightfully satirical at the -flapper's expense, and every point he made went with a roar. Then the -flapper stuck a white feather into the frock-coat of General Sir -Champernowne--also in mufti--and he was not satirical, but got into a -frightful rage, and gave up the flapper to a policeman. She cried and -begged for pardon; and then the V.C. returned, and saved her from the -General and the policeman, and promised to marry her after the War. - -The house was fairly convulsed, and it was really jolly true to -nature--so much so that the pianist almost forgot "God Save the King" -when all was over. For though a professional, and well used to -entertainments, he laughed as much as anybody. - -Then the people "came like shadows and so departed," in the words of the -immortal Bard; and not until next day did the final stupendous thing -happen with old Black. He looked over the playground wall just before -dinner, as he often did, to make a beast of himself about something, -and, seeing me and Weston and another chap or two kicking about a -football, he said to me: "Are you the boy Thwaites?" And I said I was. - -Then he said: "Come in, Thwaites; I want to speak to you." - -My first thought was--what had I done? But as I hadn't had any row with -old Black for two terms, my "withers were unwrung," and I went; and he -took me into his study, and handed me a bit of pink paper with writing -on it. - -"What's this, sir?" I asked. - -"A cheque for the Red Cross," he answered. "A cheque for twenty guineas, -to add to the money from your performance last night." - -He was scowling all the time, mind you, and looking as if he hated the -show. - -"I'm sure it's very sporting of you, sir," I said to old Black. - -"Not in the least," he replied. "I laughed more last night than I have -laughed for fifty years. And I only paid half a crown--much too little -for what I got." - -I was fearfully amazed. - -"Excuse me, sir," I said, "but I didn't see you laugh once!' - -"No," he answered, "and more did anyone else. When I laugh, I laugh -inside, boy, not outside. So do most wise men. Now be off; and when you -next play Shylock, let me know. If I'm alive, I'll come." - -So I went, and we cheered old Black from the playground. He must have -heard us, but he didn't show up. - -Certainly, taking one thing with another, there are many extraordinary -people in the world, and you may be surprised at any moment. No doubt -it was one of those cases of coming to scoff and remaining to pray that -you hear about, but don't often actually see. - - - - - THE LAST OF MITCHELL - - -There is a great deal of difference between being expelled and "invited -to find another sphere for your activities." In fact, as my father -said, if Dr. Dunston had expelled me, he would certainly have made a row -about it, and very likely have written to the newspapers. - -But old Dunston was a jolly sight too wily for that. He wrote to my -father when the event happened, and said that circumstances had come to -his ears which made him think, etc., etc., that I had better leave -Merivale. - -I am Mitchell, and my father is a financier, and I may say that this -profession embraces a great many branches. - -Sometimes, after dinner in holidays, he has allowed me to stop and smoke -a cigarette while he talked to friends, and so I have got a gradual -inkling of what it means to be a financier; and, in a way, this inkling -was my downfall. Not that I felt it a downfall really to be hoofed out -of Merivale; for it was rather a potty sort of show, and I should have -gone to a far more swagger place if my father had been flusher just at -the time when I had to go somewhere, owing to a trifling bother at -another school. - -But I went to Merivale, and just because I tried to take advantage of -what my father had said about finance and apply it to school life, the -difficulties arose. - -I gathered off and on from my father, when he was in a talkative frame -of mind, that one of the great arts of a financier is to do deals -between other people. - -For instance, you have something to sell, and my father knows it. And -he routs about and leaves no stone unturned, as they say, until he finds -somebody who wants to buy just what you want to sell. Then, having found -you a customer, my father arranges all the details of the business, and -everybody is satisfied, and my father, for all his time and trouble, -gets richly rewarded. - -Then, again, another fine branch of the financier's art is the floating -of public companies. To float a company requires great skill and nerve. - -The first thing is to find a place a long way off, far beyond the reach -of intending shareholders, in fact. Then you discover this far-off -country is extraordinarily rich in minerals, or india-rubber, or manure, -or some other useful material which everybody wants. You send out a -mineral or manure expert to the far-off country, and he is delighted to -find these things in enormous quantities, and sees at a glance that, if -properly managed, they will produce dividends of very likely a hundred -per cent. for the first year, and much more afterwards. - -Then my father, or whoever it might be, is glad, and he goes about to -other skilful men who understand companies, and they collect together -and make a board. The more famous financiers there are upon this board -the better the public likes it; and so the company is floated, and the -public is invited to put in money. - -This the public is only too thankful to do, because, of course, the -thing promises so well; and then the shares are quoted on the Stock -Exchange, and the papers are suddenly full of the company some morning, -and the board sits and has a champagne luncheon and arranges its -salaries and so on. - -Of course, the people who have found that happy, far-away land, flowing -with minerals and manure and such like, are richly rewarded, as they -deserve to be; and sometimes they take it in money and sometimes in -shares, and sometimes in both. - -And all may or may not go well; but the financier, whose business it is -to do these things and float the company, takes care to come out of it -all right in any case--otherwise it is no good being a financier. - -There was once a very fine company floated by my father and several of -his scientific friends, for extracting gold from salt water. - -It was based on thoroughly sound principles; because science has proved -that there is so much gold in every ton of salt water; and, of course, -if it is there, it can be extracted by modern inventions. So my father -and others of even greater renown were filled with the idea of promoting -a company to do this. - -It was a brilliant and successful company in a way, but did not last -long for some reason. - -They started at a place near Margate, I think, with pumps and tubes to -draw in the water, and machinery and professional chemists to get the -gold out of it, and a staff of twenty skilled men, who understood the -complicated mechanism. And they easily got enough gold from somewhere -to make the prospectus, and also enough to make a brooch for the -manager's wife; and no doubt they would have got much more in course of -time, but something failed--the water in the English Channel was a bit -off, or some other natural cause--and my father said it would have been -far better for everybody concerned if the works had been put up in the -Isle of Skye, or perhaps in Norway, or in the West Indies, or the Fiji -Islands, where conditions might have been better suited to success. - -But gold was none the less made for my father and one or two others, -"though not from the sea," as my father said thoughtfully when -discussing the winding up of the affair. - -There is another and even higher branch of the financier's art--the -loftiest of all in fact. This consists in floating loans for hard-up -monarchs, and it is absolutely the biggest thing the financier does. It -wants great skill and delicacy. - -You can also float loans for hard-up nations if you understand how to do -it, but there are hundreds of financiers who never reach these dizzy -heights of the profession, just as there are hundreds--you may say -millions--of soldiers who never get above being colonels, and thousands -of clergymen who fall short of becoming bishops. - -My father, of course, understood these high branches of his profession, -and once even went so far as to be interested in a loan for a South -American Republic; but before the thing was matured, one side of the -Republic was destroyed by a volcano and the other side by insurgents, -who shot the President and all his best friends; and these events so -shook investors in general that they would not subscribe to that loan, -though the Republic, in its financial extremities, offered fabulous -rates of interest. - -I mention my father at such great length just to show the man he was and -to explain my own bent of mind, which lay in the same direction. He -said once, in a genial mood, that no man had ever made more bricks -without straw than he had. It seemed to me a very dignified and -original profession, because you are on your own, so to say, and you go -out into the world single-handed, and by simple force of a brilliant -imagination and hard work, win to yourself an honourable position. You -may even get knighted or baroneted, if your financial genius is crowned -with sufficient success to give away a few tons of money to a hospital, -or the "party chest," whatever that is. - -So, understanding all these things fairly well, it was natural that I -took the line I did in the affair of Protheroe minimus and young Mayne. -And, whatever the Doctor thought, my father didn't see any objection to -the operation; and, of course, his opinion was the only one I cared -about. - -It was like this. - -Young Mayne, though very poor, had a most amazing knack of -prize-winning. He was in a class where all the chaps were a year older -than him, and yet he always beat them with the greatest ease. He was -good all round, and thought nothing of raking in prizes term after term. - -In fact, it seemed a thousand pities, seeing that he was very poor and -the only son of a lawyer's clerk, that his great prize-winning powers -were not yielding a better return. For, not to put too fine a point -upon it, as they say, the prizes at Merivale were piffle of the deepest -dye, and of no money value worth mentioning. Dr. Dunston went on -getting the same books term after term, and simply unreadable slush was -all you could call them. - -The few things that were good were all back numbers, like "Robinson -Crusoe"--all right in themselves, but nobody wants to read them twice; -and then there were school stories that would have made angels weep, -especially one called "St. Winifred's," in which boys behaved like girls -and blushed if anybody said something dashing. Then there were books -about birds and animals and insects, and for the Lower School the Doctor -used to sink to "Peter Parley" and the "Peep of Day," and such-like -absolute mess of a bygone age. - -These things were all bound in blue leather and had a gold owl stamped -upon them, which was the badge of Merivale. - -I believe the owl was supposed to be the bird of Athena, and stood for -wisdom, or some such rot. Anyhow, it wasn't a bad idea in its way, for a -more owlish sort of school than Merivale I never was at. - -And young Mayne got more of these books than anybody; but to him they -were as grass, and he thought nothing of them. Whereas Protheroe -minimus had never won a prize in his life, and wanted one fearfully--not -for itself, but for the valuable effect it would have on his mother. - -She was a widow and loved Protheroe minimus best of her three sons. The -others had taken prizes and were fair fliers at school; but Protheroe -min. was useless except at running. So, woman-like, just because he -couldn't get a prize anyhow, his mother was set on his doing so, and -promised him rare rewards if he would only work extra hard, or be extra -good, or extra something, and so scare up a blue book with a gold owl at -any cost. - -Well, if you have a financial mind, you will see at a glance that here -was a possible opportunity. At least, so it looked to me. Because on -the one hand was young Mayne, always fearfully hard up and always -getting prizes at the end of each term as a matter of course; while on -the other hand was Protheroe min., never hard up but never a scholastic -success, so to say, from the beginning of the term to the end--and, of -course, never even within sight of a prize of any sort. - -Here it seemed to me was the whole problem of supply and demand in a -nutshell; and the financier instinct cried out in me, as it were, that I -ought to be up and doing. - -So I went to young Mayne and said that I thought it was a frightful pity -all his great skill was being chucked away, and bringing no return more -important than the mournful things that he won as prizes. And he said: - -"A time will come, Mitchell." - -And then I told him that a time had come. - -"I know you sell your prizes for a few bob at home, and that you think -nothing of them," I said. "But I had a bit of a yarn with that kid -Protheroe yesterday, and it seems that what is nothing to you would be a -perfect godsend to him. You may not believe it, but his mother, who is a -bit dotty on him, has promised him five pounds if he will bring home a -prize." - -"Five pounds!" said Mayne. "The best prize old Dun ever gave wasn't -worth five bob." - -"She doesn't want to sell it--she wants to keep it for the honour and -glory of Protheroe min.," I explained. "And the idea in my mind in -bringing you chaps together for your mutual advantage was, firstly, that -you should let Protheroe have one of your prizes to take home in triumph -to his mother; and, secondly, that he should give you a document -swearing to let you have two pounds of his five pounds at the beginning -of next term." - -Mayne was much interested at this suggestion, and, knowing that he must -be a snip for at least two prizes, if not three, at the end of the -summer term, he had no difficulty whatever in falling in with my scheme. - -We were allowed to walk in the playing-fields on Sunday after chapel -before dinner, and then Mayne and Protheroe minimus and myself discussed -the details. - -Funnily enough, they were so full of it between themselves that they did -not exactly realize where I came in; so I had to remind Protheroe that -it was I who had arranged the supply when I heard about his demand; and -I had also to remind him he had certainly said that if anybody could put -him in the way of a prize, he would give that person a clear pound at -the beginning of next term. - -I also had to remind Mayne that he had promised me ten shillings on -delivery of his two pounds. - -In fact, before the day was done I got them both to sign documents; -because, as I say, when they once got together over it, they seemed -rather to forget me. So I explained to them that my part was simply -that of a financier, and that many men made their whole living in that -way, arranging supplies for demands and bringing capitalists together in -a friendly spirit. But not for nothing. - -They quite saw it, but thought I asked too much. However, I was older -than they were, and speedily convinced them that I had not. - -There was only one difficulty in the way after this, and Protheroe came -to me about it, and I helped him over it free of charge. He said: - -"When I take home the prize, what shall I say it's for? You know what -my school reports are like. There's never a loophole for a prize of any -kind." - -"You might say good conduct," I suggested; but Protheroe min. scorned -the thought. - -"That would give away the whole show at once," he said. "Because even -my mother wouldn't be deceived. It's no good taking back a prize for -good conduct when the report will be sure to read as usual--'No attempt -at any improvement,' which is how it always goes." - -Everything I suggested, Protheroe scoffed at in the same way, so I could -see the prize would have to be for something not mentioned at all in the -school report. - -Of course, you don't get book prizes for cricket, or footer, or running, -which--especially the latter--were the only things that Protheroe min. -could have hoped honestly to get a prize for. But I stuck to the -problem, and had a very happy idea three nights before the end of the -term. I then advised Protheroe to say the prize was for "calisthenics." - -There are no prizes for calisthenics at Merivale; but it sounded rather -a likely subject, especially as he was a dab at it. And, anyway, he -thought it would satisfy his mother and be all right. - -So that was settled, and it only remained for Mayne to get his lawful -prizes and hand over the least important to Protheroe min. - -It all went exceedingly well--at the start--and young Mayne got the -prizes and gave Protheroe the second, which was for literature. - -The thing was composed entirely of poems--Longfellow, or Southey, or -some such blighter--and Protheroe said that his mother would fairly -revel to think that he had won it. He packed it in his box after -"breaking up," and we exchanged our agreements; and it came out, when -all was over, that young Mayne was to have two pounds out of Protheroe's -five, and I was to have ten bob from Mayne and a pound from -Protheroe--thirty shillings in all; and Protheroe would have the prize -and two pounds, not to mention other pickings, which would doubtless be -given to him by his proud and grateful mother. - -You might have thought that nothing could go wrong with a sound -financial scheme of that sort. I put any amount of time and thought into -the transaction, and as it was my first introduction into the world of -business, so to speak, and I stood to net a clear thirty shillings, -naturally I left no stone unturned, as they say, to make it a brilliant -and successful affair. - -And yet it all went to utter and hopeless smash, though it was no fault -of mine. - -And you certainly couldn't blame Protheroe min. or Mayne either. In -fact, Protheroe must have carried it off very well when he got home, and -the calisthenics went down all right; and Mayne, when his people asked -how it was that he hadn't got more than one prize, was ingenious enough -to say that he'd suffered from hay fever all the term and been too off -colour to make his usual haul. - -So everything would have been perfection but for the idiotic and -footling behaviour of Protheroe min.'s mother. - -This excitable and weak-minded woman was not content with just quietly -taking the prize and putting it in a glass case with the prizes won in -the past by Protheroe's brothers. She must go fluttering about telling -his wretched relations what he'd done; and, as if that was not enough, -she got altogether above herself and wrote to Dr. Dunston about it. She -said how glad and happy it had made her, and that success in the -gymnasium was something to begin with, and that she hoped and prayed -that it would lead to better things, and that they would live to be -proud of Protheroe minimus yet, and such-like truck! - -Well, the result was a knock-down blow to us all, as you may imagine, -and the Doctor showed himself both wily and beastly, as usual. For he -merely asked Protheroe's mother to send back the prize at the beginning -of the term, as he fancied there might have been some mistake; but he -begged her not to mention the matter to Protheroe minimus. - -So when Protheroe and Mayne and myself all arrived again for the arduous -toil of the winter term, and Mayne and I were eager for the financial -disimbursements to begin, we heard the shattering news that, at the last -moment, Protheroe hadn't got his fiver. - -It was to have been given to him on the day that he came back to school; -but instead his mother had merely told him that she feared there was a -little mistake somewhere, and that she couldn't give him his hard-earned -cash till Dr. Dunston had cleared the matter up. - -Needless to say that Dunston did clear it up with all the brutality of -which he was capable. - -As for myself, when the crash came, I hoped it would happen to me as it -often does to professional financiers in real life, and that I should -escape, as it were. Not, of course, that I had done anything that in -fairness made it necessary for me to escape, because to take advantage -of supply and demand is a natural law of self-preservation, and -everybody does it as a matter of course, not only financiers. - -But, much to my annoyance, the common-sense view of the thing was not -taken, and I found myself "in the cart," as they say, with young Mayne -and Protheroe minimus. - -The Doctor, on examining Protheroe's prize for calisthenics, instantly -perceived that it was in reality young Mayne's prize for literature. -But evidently anything like strategy of this kind was very distasteful -to the Doctor. In fact, he took a prejudiced view from the first, and -as young Mayne was only eleven and Protheroe min. merely ten and a half, -it instantly jumped to Dunston's hateful and suspicious mind that -somebody must have helped them in what he called a "nefarious project." -And, by dint of some very unmanly cross-questioning, he got my name out -of Mayne. - -I never blamed Mayne; in fact, I quite believed him when he swore that -it only slipped out under the treacherous questions of the Doctor; but -the result was, of course, unsatisfactory in every way for me. - -I was immediately sent for, and had no course open to me but to explain -the whole nature of financial operations to Dr. Dunston, and try to make -him see that I had simply fallen in with the iron laws of supply and -demand. - -Needless to say, I failed, for he was in one of his fiery and snorting -conditions and above all appeal to reason. - -"It was an ordinary sort of transaction, sir," I said, "and I don't see -that anybody was hurt by it. In fact, everybody was pleased, including -Mrs. Protheroe." - -This made him simply foam at the mouth. - -I had never been what you may call a great success with him, and now to -hear sound business views from one still at the early age of sixteen, -fairly shook him up. - -He ordered me to go back to my class, and when I had gone, he flogged -young Mayne and Protheroe minimus. He then forgave them and told them -to go and sin no more; and the same day, doubtless after the old fool -had cooled down a bit, he wrote to my father and put the case before -him--though not quite fairly--and said that, apparently, I had no moral -sense, and a lot of other insulting and vulgar things. In conclusion, -he asked my father to remove me, that I might find another sphere for my -activities. - -And my father did. - -He never took my view of the matter exactly; but he certainly did not -take Dr. Dunston's view either. He seemed to be more amused than -anything, and was by no means in such a wax with Dr. Dunston as I should -have expected. - -He said that the scholastic point of view was rather stuffy and lacked -humour; and then he explained that I had certainly not acted quite on -the straight, but had been a "deceitful and cunning little bounder." - -I was a good deal hurt at this view, and when he found a billet for me -in the firm of Messrs. Martin & Moss, Stock Brokers, I felt very glad -indeed to go into it and shake off the dust of school from my feet, as -they say. - -It is a good and a busy firm, and I have been here a fortnight now. Ten -days ago, happening to pass Mr. Martin's door, and catching my name, I -naturally stood and listened and heard an old clerk tell Mr. Martin that -I was taking to the work like a duck takes to water. - -I am writing this account of the business at Merivale on sheets of the -best correspondence paper of Messrs. Martin & Moss! - -They would not like it if they knew. - -But they won't know. - - - - - THE END - - - - - Printed in the United States of America. - - - - - * * * * * * * * - - - - - The following pages contain advertisements - of Macmillan books by the same author - - - - BY THE SAME AUTHOR - - - Old Delabole - - BY EDEN PHILLPOTTS - - Author of "Brunei's Tower," etc. - -_Cloth, 12mo, $1.50_ - -A critic in reviewing _Brunei's Tower_ remarked that it would seem that -Eden Phillpotts was now doing the best work of his career. There was -sufficient argument for this contention in the novel then under -consideration and further demonstration of its truth is found in _Old -Delabole_, which, because of its cheerful and wise philosophy and its -splendid feeling for nature and man's relation to it, will perhaps -ultimately take its place as its author's best. The scene is laid in -Cornwall. Delabole is a slate mining town and the tale which Mr. -Phillpotts tells against it as a background, one in which a matter of -honor or of conscience is the pivot, is dramatic in situation and doubly -interesting because of the moral problem which it presents. Mr. -Phillpotts's artistry and keen perception of those motives which actuate -conduct have never been better exhibited. - -"Another good story from an able hand."--_New York Sun_. - -"A novel of large significance."--_Boston Herald_. - -"A more effective piece of dramatic description could scarcely be put -into print."--_North American (Philadelphia)_. - -"Besides being a good story, richly peopled, and brimful of human nature -in its finer aspects, the book is seasoned with quiet humor and a deal -of mellow wisdom."--_New York Times_. - - - - Brunei's Tower - - BY EDEN PHILLPOTTS - -_Cloth, 12mo, $1.50_ - -The regeneration of a faulty character through association with -dignified, honest work and simple, sincere people is the theme which Mr. -Phillpotts has chosen for his latest novel. Always an artist, he has, in -this book, made what will perhaps prove to be his most notable -contribution to literature. Humor and a genuine sympathetic -understanding of the human soul are reflected throughout it. The scene -is largely laid in a pottery, and the reader is introduced in the course -of the action to the various processes in the art. The central figure -is a lad who, having escaped from a reform school, has sought shelter -and work in the pottery. Under the influence of the gentle, kindly folk -of the community he comes in a measure to realize himself. - -"It touches lightly upon love, upon the pathos of old age, upon the -workman's passion for his work, upon the artist's worship of his art, -upon an infinite variety of human ways and moods, and it is filled to -its depths with reflections upon life that are very near to life itself. -It is Mr. Phillpotts at his characteristic best."--_Boston Transcript_. - -"The daily bread of life is in this book ... magnificently written, ... -absorbingly interesting, and holds that element of surprise which is -never lacking in the work of the true story teller. It is a book for -which to be frankly grateful, for it holds matter for many hours' -enjoyment.--_New York Times_. - - - - BY THE SAME AUTHOR - - Faith Tresilion - -_Decorated Cloth, 12mo, $1.35_ - -"Its movement is brisk, and the development of its plot is emphasized at -certain steps with sudden surprises--all of which contribute toward -holding the reader's attention."--_New York Times_. - -"A rousing story, having about it the tang and flavor of the sea, and -with the sound of trumpets ringing through.... Mr. Phillpotts has -chosen a period of thrills for his story and has succeeded very well in -putting across the bracing atmosphere of perilous times. His portrayal -of the coast folk of Daleham rings true and refreshing."--_Kansas City -Star_. - -"A tale picturesque in its scenes and rich in its character."--_Boston -Transcript_. - -"Mr. Phillpotts may be congratulated upon having written a remarkable -book in which there is not a dull page."--_Philadelphia Ledger_. - -"A book that is distinctly interesting."--_New York Herald_. - -"No character that Mr. Phillpotts has created can surpass that of Emma -Tresilion."--_Boston Times_. - -"It is a very readable story."--_The Outlook_. - -"A book of stirring adventure and sensational experiences."--_Literary -Digest_. - -"Never has Eden Phillpotts written so swinging a romance."--_Bellman_. - -"A rattling good story."--_Los Angeles Times_. - - - - OTHER OF MR. EDEN PHILLPOTTS' NOVELS - - - The Three Brothers - -_Cloth, 12mo, $1.50_ - -"'The Three Brothers' seems to us the best yet of the long series of -these remarkable Dartmoor tales. If Shakespeare had written novels we -can think that some of his pages would have been like some of these.... -The book is full of a very moving interest, and it is agreeable and -beautiful."--_New York Sun_. - - - - Knock at a Venture - -_Cloth, 12mo, $1.50_ - -Sketches of the rustic life of Devon, rich in racy, quaint, and humorous -touches. - - - - The Portreeve - -_Cloth, 12mo, $1.50_ - -"Twice, at least, he has reached and even surpassed the standard of his -first notable work. Once was in 'The Secret Woman.' The second time is -in 'The Portreeve.' In sheer mastery of technique it is the finest -thing he has done. From the beginning to the end the author's touch is -assured and unfaltering. There is nothing superfluous, nothing -unfinished.... And the characters, even to the least important, have -the breath of life in them."--_The Providence Journal_. - - - - My Devon Year - -_Cloth, 8vo, $2.00, with 38 Monotint plates, $2.00_ - -"One of the most charming nature books recently published.... This book -will inspire such persons and many others to get back to Mother Earth -and see her wonders with a new eye. To those who know the rich Devon -country it describes 'My Devon Year' is a delight from beginning to end, -but this knowledge is not essential to its thorough enjoyment."--_New -York Mail_. - - - - - THE MACMILLAN COMPANY - Publishers -- 64-66 Fifth Avenue -- New York - - - - - - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR *** - - - - -A Word from Project Gutenberg - - -We will update this book if we find any errors. - -This book can be found under: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/41779 - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one -owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and -you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission -and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the -General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and -distributing Project Gutenberg(tm) electronic works to protect the -Project Gutenberg(tm) concept and trademark. 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