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| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-03-03 07:07:57 -0800 |
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| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-03-03 07:07:57 -0800 |
| commit | 2d2b2357ec8d0057587424345d42aafbba4457c1 (patch) | |
| tree | 1d5d91f5f68c396afcfd4f7cab3fdde47a57c91d /41779-h/41779-h.html | |
| parent | f8b9217f889c718c3e29c556cabbd1b370368d3f (diff) | |
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- float: left; - margin-right: 1em } - -.align-right { clear: right; - float: right; - margin-left: 1em } - -.align-center { margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto } - -div.shrinkwrap { display: table; } - -/* SECTIONS */ - -body { margin: 5% 10% 5% 10% } - -/* compact list items containing just one p */ -li p.pfirst { margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0 } - -.first { margin-top: 0 !important; - text-indent: 0 !important } -.last { margin-bottom: 0 !important } - -span.dropcap { float: left; margin: 0 0.1em 0 0; line-height: 1 } -img.dropcap { float: left; margin: 0 0.5em 0 0; max-width: 25% } -span.dropspan { font-variant: small-caps } - -.no-page-break { page-break-before: avoid !important } - -/* PAGINATION */ - -@media screen { - .coverpage, .frontispiece, .titlepage, .verso, .dedication, .plainpage - { margin: 10% 0; } - - div.clearpage, div.cleardoublepage - { margin: 10% 0; border: none; border-top: 1px solid gray; } - - .vfill { margin: 5% 10% } -} - -@media print { - div.clearpage { page-break-before: always; padding-top: 10% } - div.cleardoublepage { page-break-before: right; padding-top: 10% } - - .vfill { margin-top: 20% } - h2.title { margin-top: 20% } -} - -</style> -<title>THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR</title> -<meta name="PG.Rights" content="Public Domain" /> -<meta name="PG.Title" content="The Human Boy and the War" /> -<meta name="PG.Producer" content="Al Haines" /> -<link rel="coverpage" href="images/img-cover.jpg" /> -<meta name="DC.Creator" content="Eden Phillpotts" /> -<meta name="DC.Created" content="1916" /> -<meta name="PG.Id" content="41779" /> -<meta name="PG.Released" content="2013-01-04" /> -<meta name="DC.Language" content="en" /> -<meta name="DC.Title" content="The Human Boy and the War" /> - -<link href="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" rel="schema.DCTERMS" /> -<link href="http://id.loc.gov/vocabulary/relators" rel="schema.MARCREL" /> -<meta content="The Human Boy and the War" name="DCTERMS.title" /> -<meta content="humanboy.rst" name="DCTERMS.source" /> -<meta content="en" scheme="DCTERMS.RFC4646" name="DCTERMS.language" /> -<meta content="2013-01-10T18:35:07.512202+00:00" scheme="DCTERMS.W3CDTF" name="DCTERMS.modified" /> -<meta content="Project Gutenberg" name="DCTERMS.publisher" /> -<meta content="Public Domain in the USA." name="DCTERMS.rights" /> -<link href="http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/41779" rel="DCTERMS.isFormatOf" /> -<meta content="Eden Phillpotts" name="DCTERMS.creator" /> -<meta content="2013-01-04" scheme="DCTERMS.W3CDTF" name="DCTERMS.created" /> -<meta content="width=device-width" name="viewport" /> -<meta content="EpubMaker 0.3.20a5 by Marcello Perathoner <webmaster@gutenberg.org>" name="generator" /> -<style type="text/css"> -.pageno { position: absolute; right: 95%; font: medium sans-serif; text-indent: 0 } -.pageno:after { color: gray; content: '[' attr(title) ']' } -.lineno { position: absolute; left: 95%; font: medium sans-serif; text-indent: 0 } -.lineno:after { color: gray; content: '[' attr(title) ']' } -.toc-pageref { float: right } -pre { font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.9em; white-space: pre-wrap } -</style> -</head> -<body> -<div class="document" id="the-human-boy-and-the-war"> -<h1 class="center document-title level-1 pfirst title"><span class="x-large">THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR</span></h1> - -<!-- this is the default PG-RST stylesheet --> -<!-- figure and image styles for non-image formats --> -<!-- default transition --> -<!-- default attribution --> -<!-- -*- encoding: utf-8 -*- --> -<div class="clearpage"> -</div> -<!-- -*- encoding: utf-8 -*- --> -<div class="align-None container language-en pgheader" id="pg-header" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the </span><a class="reference internal" href="#project-gutenberg-license">Project Gutenberg License</a><span> -included with this eBook or online at -</span><a class="reference external" href="http://www.gutenberg.org/license">http://www.gutenberg.org/license</a><span>.</span></p> -<p class="noindent pnext"></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<div class="align-None container" id="pg-machine-header"> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Title: The Human Boy and the War -<br /> -<br />Author: Eden Phillpotts -<br /> -<br />Release Date: January 04, 2013 [EBook #41779] -<br /> -<br />Language: English -<br /> -<br />Character set encoding: UTF-8</span></p> -</div> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst" id="pg-start-line"><span>*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK </span><span>THE HUMAN BOY AND THE WAR</span><span> ***</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst" id="pg-produced-by"><span>Produced by Al Haines.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span></span></p> -</div> -<div class="align-None container coverpage"> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<div class="align-center auto-scaled figure margin" style="width: 53%" id="figure-10"> -<span id="cover"></span><img class="align-center block" style="display: block; width: 100%" alt="Cover" src="images/img-cover.jpg" /> -<div class="caption centerleft figure-caption margin"> -<span class="italics">Cover</span></div> -</div> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -</div> -<div class="align-None container titlepage"> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="x-large">THE HUMAN BOY -<br />AND THE WAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY</span></p> -<!-- class large - -EDEN PHILLPOTTS --> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">New York -<br />THE MACMILLAN COMPANY -<br />1916</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics small">All rights reserved</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -</div> -<div class="align-None container verso"> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">Copyright 1916 -<br />BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">Set up and electrotyped. Published June, 1916 -<br />Reprinted October, 1916.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">CONTENTS</span></p> -<p class="noindent pnext"><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-battle-of-the-sand-pit">The Battle of the Sand-Pit</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-mystery-of-fortescue">The Mystery of Fortescue</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-countryman-of-kant">The Countryman of Kant</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#travers-minor-scout">Travers Minor, Scout</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-hutchings-testimonial">The Hutchings Testimonial</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-fight">The Fight</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#percy-minimus-and-his-tommy">Percy Minimus and His Tommy</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-prize-poem">The Prize Poem</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-revenge">The Revenge</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-turbot-s-aunt">The "Turbot's" Aunt</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#cornwallis-and-me-and-fate">Cornwallis and Me and Fate</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#for-the-red-cross">For the Red Cross</a><span class="medium"> -<br /></span><a class="medium reference internal" href="#the-last-of-mitchell">The Last of Mitchell</a></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-battle-of-the-sand-pit"><span class="x-large">THE HUMAN BOY -<br />AND THE WAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">THE BATTLE OF THE SAND-PIT</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>After the war had fairly got going, naturally we -thought a good deal about it, and it was explained -to us by Fortescue that, behind the theory of -Germany licking us, or us licking Germany, as the -case might be, there were two great psychical ideas. -As I was going to be a soldier myself, the actual -fighting interested me most, but the psychical ideas -were also interesting, because Fortescue said that -often the cause won the battle. Therefore it was -better to have a good psychical idea behind you, like -us, than a rotten one, like Germany. I always -thought the best men and the best ships and the -best brains and the most money were simply bound -to come out top in the long run; but Fortescue said -that a bad psychical idea behind these things often -wrecks the whole show. And so I asked him if we -had got a good psychical idea behind us, and he -said we had a champion one, whereas the Germans -were trusting to a perfectly deadly psychical idea, -which was bound to have wrecked them in any case--even -if they'd had twenty million men instead of ten.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So that was all right, though, no doubt, the -Germans think their idea of being top dog of the -whole world is really finer than ours, which is -"Live and let live." And, as I pointed out to -Fortescue, no doubt if we had such a fearfully fine -opinion of ourselves as the Germans have, then we -also should want to be top dog of the world.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Fortescue said:--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's just it, Travers major. Thanks to our -sane policy of respecting the rights of all men, and -never setting ourselves up as the only nation that -counts, we do count--first and foremost; but if -we'd gone out into the whole earth and bawled that -we were going to make it Anglo-Saxon, then we -should have been laughed at, as the Germans are -now; and we should dismally have failed as -colonists, just as they have."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So, of course, I saw all he meant by his psychical -idea, and no doubt it was a jolly fine thought; and -most, though not all, of the Sixth saw it also. But -the Fifth saw it less, and the Fourth didn't see it -at all. The Fourth were, in fact, rather an earthy -lot about this time, and they seemed to have a -foggy sort of notion that might is right; or, if it -isn't, it generally comes out right, which to the -minds of the Fourth amounted to the same thing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The war naturally had a large effect upon us, and -according as we looked at the war, so you could -judge of our opinions in general. I and my brother, -Travers minor, and Briggs and Saunders--though -Briggs and Travers minor were themselves in the -Lower Fourth--were interested in the strategy and -higher command. We foretold what was going to -happen next, and were sometimes quite right; -whereas chaps like Abbott and Blades and Mitchell -and Pegram and Rice were only interested in the -brutal part, and the bloodshed and the grim -particulars about the enemy's trenches after a sortie, -and so on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In time, curiously enough, there got to be two -war parties in the school. Of course they both -wanted England to win, but we took a higher line -about it, and looked on to the end, and argued about -the division of the spoil, and the general -improvement of Europe, and the new map, and the -advancement of better ideas, and so on; while Rice and -Pegram and such-like took the "horrible -slaughter" line, and rejoiced to hear of parties -surrounded, and Uhlans who had been eating hay for -a week before they were captured, and the decks -of battleships just before they sank, and such-like -necessary but very unfortunate things.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said to Mitchell--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It may interest you to know that real soldiers -never talk about the hideous side of war; and it -would be a good deal more classy if you chaps tried -to understand the meaning of it all, instead of -wallowing in the dreadful details."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Mitchell answered--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The details bring it home to us and make us -see red."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I replied to Mitchell--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What the dickens d'you want to see red for?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Everybody ought to at a time like this."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, with such ignorance you can't argue, -any more than you could with Rice, when he swore -that he'd give up his home and family gladly in -exchange for the heavenly joy of putting a bayonet -through a German officer. It wasn't the spirit of -war, and I told him so, and he called me "von -Travers," and said that as I was going to be a -soldier, he hoped, for the sake of the United -Kingdom in general, there would be no war while I was -in command of anybody.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Gradually there got to be a bit of feeling in the -air, and we gave out that we stood for tactics and -strategy and brain-power, and Rice and his lot -gave out that they stood for hacking their way -through. And as for strategy, they had the cheek -to say that, if it came to actual battle, the Fourth -would back its strategy against the Sixth every time. -It was a sort of challenge, in fact, and rested chiefly -on their complete ignorance of what strategy really -meant.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When I asked Mitchell who were the strategists -of the Fourth, he gave it away by saying--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Me and Pegram."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, he and Pegram were merely cunning--nothing -more. Mitchell was a good mathematician, -and in money matters he excelled on a low plane; -while Pegram was admitted to be a master in the -art of cribbing, but no other. His bent of mind -had been attracted to the subject of cribbing from -the first, and while I hated him, and knew that he -could never come to much good, I was bound to -admit the stories told about his cribbing exploits -showed great ingenuity combined with nerve. By -a bitter irony, theology was his best subject, but -only thanks to the possession of a Bible one inch -square. He had found it when doing Christmas -shopping with his aunt, who was his only relation, -owing to his being an orphan, and when he asked -her to buy it for him as one of his Christmas -presents, she did so with pleasure and surprise, little -dreaming of what was passing in his mind. I never -saw the book, nor wished to see it, but Briggs, who -did, told me it contained everything, only in such -frightfully small print that you wanted a magnifying -glass to read it. Needless to say, Pegram had -the magnifying glass. And, thus armed, he -naturally did Scripture papers second to none. He also -manipulated a catapult for the benefit of his friends -in the Lower Fourth, of whom he had a great many, -and with this instrument, such was his delicacy of -aim, he could send answers to questions in an -examination through the air to other chaps, in the -shape of paper pillets. He could also hurl insults -in this way, or, in fact, anything. Once he actually -fired his Bible across three rows of forms to -Abbott. It flew through the air and fell at Abbott's -feet, who instantly put one on it. But Brown, -who was the master in command on the occasion, -looked up at the critical moment and saw a strange -object passing through the air. Only he failed to -mark it down.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What was that?" said Brown to Rice, who -sat three chaps off Abbott.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A moth, I think, sir," said Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Extraordinary time for a moth to be flying," -said Brown.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Very, sir," said Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't let it occur again, anyway," said Brown, -who never investigated anything, but always -ordered that it shouldn't occur again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, sir," said Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Abbott bent down to scratch his ankle, and -all was well.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And this Pegram was supposed to have strategy -as good as ours!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I never thought a real chance of a conflict would -come, but it actually did in a most unexpected -manner just before the holidays. The weather -turned cold for a week, and then, after about three -frosts, we had a big snow, and in about a day and -a night there was nearly a foot of it. And, -walking through the West Wood with Blades, I pointed -out that the sand-pit, under the edge of the fir trees, -would be a very fine spot for a battle on a small -scale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If one army was above the sand-pit, and -another army was down here, trying to storm the -position, there would be an opportunity for a -remarkably good fight and plenty of strategy; and -if I led the Fifth and Sixth against the sand-pit, -or if I defended the sand-pit against attacks by the -Upper and Lower Fourth, the result would be very -interesting."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Blades agreed with me. He said he believed -that it would give the Upper and Lower Fourth -frightful pleasure to have a battle, and he was -certain they would be exceedingly pleased at the idea. -In fact, he went off at once to find Pegram and, if -possible, Rice and Mitchell. The school was -taking a walk that afternoon, as the football ground -was eight inches under snow; and some were -digging in the snow for eating chestnuts, of which a -good many were to be found in West Wood, and -others were scattered about. So Blades went to -find Mitchell, Rice, and Pegram, and I considered -the situation. The edge of the sand-pit was about -eight feet high, and a frontal attack would have -been very difficult, if not impossible; but there was -an approach on the left--a gradual slope, fairly -easy--and another on the right, rather difficult, as -it consisted of loose stones and tree roots. On the -whole, I thought I would rather defend than attack; -but as, if anything came of it, I should be the -challenger, I felt it would be more sporting to let the -foe choose.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Rice and Mitchell came back with Blades, -and they said that nothing would give them greater -pleasure than a fight. They had heard my idea, and -thought exceedingly well of it. They examined -the spot and pretended to consider strategy, but, -of course, they knew nothing about the possibilities -of defence and attack. What they really -wanted to know was how many troops they would -have, and how many we should. We counted up -and found that in the Fifth and Sixth, leaving out -about four who were useless, and Perkins, who -would have been valuable, but was crocked at footer -for the moment, we should number thirty-one, while -the Upper and Lower Fourth would have thirty-eight. -I agreed to that, and Rice made the rather -good suggestion that we should each have ten kids -behind the fighting line to make ammunition. And -I said I hoped there would be no stones in the -snowballs, and Mitchell said the Fourth didn't -consist of Germans, and I might be sure they would -fight as fair as we did, if not fairer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So it was settled for the next Saturday, and -Brown and Fortescue consented to umpire the -battle, and Fortescue showed great interest in it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There were a good many preliminaries to decide, -and I asked Mitchell what chap was to be -general-in-chief for the Fourth, and, much to my surprise, -he said that Pegram was. And, still more to my -surprise, he said that Pegram wished to attack and -not defend. This alone showed how little they -knew about strategy; but I only said "All right," -and Mitchell actually said that Pegram backed the -Fourth to take the sand-pit inside an hour! And I -said that pride generally went before a fall. Then -I saw Pegram--which was at a meeting of the -commanders-in-chief--and we arranged all the details. -He asked about the fallen, and I said that nobody -would fall; but he said he thought some very likely -would; and he also said that it would be more like -the real thing and more a reward for strategy if, -when anybody was fairly bowled over in the battle -and prevented from continuing without a rest, that -that soldier was considered as a casualty and taken -to the rear. This was pretty good for Pegram; but -as our superior position on the top of the sand-pit -was bound to make our fire more severe than his, -and put more of his men out of action, I pointed -that out. But he said that if I thought our fire -would be more severe than his, I was much -mistaken. He said the volume of his fire would be -greater, which was true. So I let him have his way, -and we each selected ten kids for the ammunition. -Travers minor didn't much like fighting against -me, but, of course, he had to, though it was rather -typical of Mitchell and Pegram that they were very -suspicious of him before the battle, and wouldn't -tell him any of the strategy, or give him a -command in their army, for fear of his being a traitor. -And they felt the same to Briggs, though, of course, -Briggs and Travers minor were really just as keen -about victory for the Fourth as anybody else in it. -And the only reason why my brother didn't like -fighting against me was that, with my strategy, he -felt pretty sure I must win.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The generals--Pegram and I--visited the -battlefield twice more, and arranged where the -wounded were to lie and where the umpires were to -stand, in comparative safety behind a tree on the -right wing; but, of course, we didn't discuss tactics -or say a word about our battle plans. The fight -was to last one hour, and if at the end of that time -we still held the sand-pit, we were the victors. -And for half an hour before the battle began, we -were to make ammunition and pile snow and do -what we liked to increase the chances of victory.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I, of course, led the Fifth and Sixth, and under -me I had Saunders, as general of the Sixth, and -Norris, as general of the Fifth. As for the enemy, -Pegram was generalissimo, to use his own word, -and Rice and Abbott and Mitchell and Blades were -his captains. It got jolly interesting just before -the battle, and everybody was frightfully keen, and -the kids who were not doing orderly and red-cross -work, were allowed to stand on a slight hill fifty -yards from the sand-pit and watch the struggle.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And on the morning of the great day, happening -to meet Rice and Mitchell, I asked them what was -the psychical idea behind the attack of the Fourth; -and Rice said his psychical idea was to give the -Sixth about the worst time it had ever had; and -Mitchell said his psychical idea was to make the -Sixth wish it had never been born. They meant it, -too, for there was a lot of bitter feeling against us, -and I realised that we were in for a real battle, -though there could only be one end, of course. -They had thirty-eight fighters to our thirty-one, -and they had rather the best of the weight and size; -but in the Sixth we had Forbes and Forrester, both -of the first eleven and hard chuckers; and we had -three other hard chuckers and first eleven men in -the Fifth, besides Williams, who was the champion -long-distance cricket ball thrower in the school.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We had all practised a good deal, and also -instructed the kids in the art of making snowballs -hard and solid. The general feeling with us was -that we had the brains and the strategy, while the -Fourth had rather the heavier metal, but would not -apply it so well as us. When a man fell, the -ambulance, in the shape of two red-cross kids, was to -conduct him to a place safe from fire in the rear; -and when he was being taken from the firing-line, he -was not to be fired at, but the battle was to go on, -though the red-cross kids were to be respected. I -should like to draw a diagram of the field, like the -diagrams in the newspapers, but that I cannot do. -I can, however, explain that, when the great -moment arrived, I manned the top of the sand-pit with -my army, and during the half hour of preparation -threw up a wall of snow all along the front of -the sand-pit nearly three feet high. And along -this wall I arranged the Fifth, led by Norris, on the -right wing. Five men, commanded by Saunders, -specially guarded the incline on the left, which was -our weak spot, and the remaining ten men, all from -the Sixth, took up a position five yards to the rear -and above the front line, in such a position that -they could drop curtain fire freely over the Fifth. -I, being the Grand Staff, took up a position on the -right wing on a small elevation above the army, -from which I could see the battle in every particular; -and Thwaites, of the Sixth, who was too small -and weak to be of any use in the fighting lines, was -my adjutant to run messages and take any necessary -orders to the wings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As for the enemy, they made no entrenchments or -anything of the kind, though they watched our -dispositions with a great deal of interest. Pegram -studied the incline on our wing, and evidently had -some ideas about a frontal attack also, which would -certainly mean ruin for him if he tried it, as it would -have been impossible to rush the sand-pit from the -front. They made an enormous amount of ammunition, -and as they piled it within thirty yards of -our parapet, they evidently meant to come to close -quarters from the first. I was pleased to observe -this. They arranged their line rather well, in a -crescent converging upon our wings; but there was -no rearguard and no reserve, so it was clear -everybody was going into action at once. The officers -were distinguished by wearing white footer shirts, -which made them far too conspicuous objects, and -it was clear that Pegram was not going to regard -himself as a Grand Staff, but just fight with the -rest. Needless to say, I was prepared to do the -same, and throw myself into the thickest of it if -the battle needed me and things got critical. But -I felt, somehow, from the first that we were impregnable.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, the battle began by Fortescue blowing a -referee's football whistle, and instantly the strategy -of the enemy was made apparent. They opened a -terrific fire, and their one idea evidently was to -annihilate the Sixth. They ignored the Fifth, but -poured their entire fire upon the Sixth; and a -special firing-party of about six or seven chosen shots, -or sharpshooters, poured their entire fire on me, -where I stood alone. About ten snowballs hit me -the moment Fortescue's whistle went, and the -position at once became untenable and also dangerous. -So I retired to the Sixth, and sent word to the -Fifth by Thwaites to very much increase the -rapidity of their fire. Which they did; and Pegram -appealed that I was out of action, but Fortescue said -I was not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was exceedingly like the Great War in a way, -and the Fourth evidently felt to the Fifth and -Sixth what the Germans felt to the French and -English. They merely hated the Fifth, but they -fairly loathed the Sixth, and wanted to put them -all out of action in the first five minutes of the -battle. Needless to say, they failed; but we lost -Saunders, who somehow caught it so hot, guarding -the slope, that he got winded and his nose began -to bleed at the same moment, which was a weakness -of his, brought on suddenly by a snowball at rather -close range. So he fell, and the red-cross kids took -him out of danger. This infuriated us, and, -keeping our nerve well, we concentrated our fire on -Mitchell, who had come far too close after the -success with Saunders. A fair avalanche of -snowballs battered him, and he went down; and though -he got up instantly, it was only to fall again. -And Fortescue gave him out, and he was conducted -to a ruined cowshed, where the enemy's ambulance -stood in the rear of their lines.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I had already ordered the Sixth to take open -formation and scatter through the Fifth; and this -undoubtedly saved them, for though we lost my -aide-de-camp, Thwaites, who was no fighter and -nearly fainted, and was jolly glad to be numbered -with those out of action, for some time afterwards -we lost nobody, and held our own with ease. Once -or twice I took a hand, but it wasn't necessary, and -when we fairly settled to work, we made them see -they couldn't live within fifteen yards of us. They -made several rushes, however, but, by a happy -strategy, I always directed our fire on the individual -when he came in, and thus got two out of -action, including Rice. He was a great fighter, and -I was surprised he threw up the sponge so soon; -but after a regular battering and blinding, he said -he'd "got it in the neck," and fell and was put out -with one eye bunged. Travers minor also fell, -rather to my regret; and what struck me was that, -considering all their brag, the Fourth were not such -good plucked ones when it came to the business of -real war, as we were. It made a difference finishing -off Rice, for he had fought well, and his fire -was very accurate, as several of us knew to our -cost. I felt now that if we could concentrate on -Pegram and Blades, who were firing magnificently, -the battle would be practically over. But Blades, -owing to his great powers, could do execution and -still keep out of range. He was, in fact, their -seventeen-inch gun, you might say; and though -Williams on our side could throw further, he -proved in action rather feeble and not a born fighter -by any means. As for Pegram, he always seemed -to be behind somebody else, which, knowing his -character, you would have expected. At last, -however, he led a storming party to the slope, and, -leaving the bulk of my forces to guard the front, -I led seven to stem his attack. For the first time -since the beginning of the battle, it was hand-to-hand; -but we had the advantage of position, and -were never in real danger. I had the great -satisfaction of hurling Pegram over the slope into his -own lines, and he fell on his shoulder and went -down and out. He was led away holding his -elbow and also limping; but his loss did not knock -the fight out of the Fourth, though in the same -charge they lost Preston and we nearly lost Bassett. -But he got his second wind and was saved to us, -though only for a time, for Blades, who had a -private hate of Bassett, came close and scorned the fire, -and got three hard ones in on Bassett from three -yards; and Fortescue had to say Bassett was done. -Blades, however, was also done, and there was a -brief armistice while they were taken away.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We now suddenly concentrated on Mitchell, who -was tiring and had got into range. I think he -was fed up with the battle, for, after a feeble -return, he went down when about ten well-directed -snowballs took him simultaneously on the face and -chest, and then he chucked it and went to the -ambulance. At the same moment one of their chaps, -called Sutherland, did for Norris. Norris had been -getting giddy for some time, and he also feared -that he was frost-bitten, and when Sutherland, -creeping right under him, got him well between the -eyes with a hard one, he was fairly blinded, though -very sorry to join our casualties. I had a touch -of cramp at the same moment, but it passed off.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We'd had about half an hour now, and five of the -ammunition kids were out of action with frozen -hands. Then we got one more of the enemy, in the -shape of Sutherland, and their </span><em class="italics">moral</em><span> ought to have -begun to get bad; but it did not. Though all their -leaders were now down, they stuck it well, while -we simply held them with ease, and repelled two -more attempts on the slope. In fact, Williams -wanted to go down and make a sortie, and get a -few more out of action; but this I would not -permit for another five minutes, though during those -exciting moments we prepared for the sortie, and -knocked out Abbott, who, much to my surprise, -had fought magnificently and covered himself with -glory, though lame. On their side they got -MacAndrew, owing to an accident. In fact, he slipped -over the edge of the sand-pit, and was taken -prisoner before he could get back, and we were -sorry to lose him, not so much for his own sake, -as because his capture bucked up the Fourth to -make fresh efforts.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And then came the critical moment of the battle, -and a most unexpected thing happened.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>With victory in our grasp, and a decimated -opposition, a frightful surprise occurred, and the most -unsporting thing was done by the Fourth that you -could find in the gory annals of war.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was really all over, bar victory, and we were -rearranging ourselves under a very much -weakened fire, when we heard a shout in the woods -behind us, and the shout was evidently a signal. For -the whole of the Fourth still in action made one -simultaneous rush for the slope, and of course we -concentrated to fling them back. But then, with a -wild shriek, there suddenly burst upon us from -the rear the whole of their casualties!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mitchell and Rice and Pegram came first, -followed by Travers minor and Preston and Blades -and Sutherland and Abbott. They had rested and -refreshed themselves with two lemons and other -commissariat, and then, taking a circuitous track -from behind their ambulance, had got exactly -behind us through the wood. And now, uttering the -yells that the regular Tommies always utter when -charging, they were on us with frightful impetus, -just while we were repelling the frontal attack -on the slope, and before we had time to divide to -meet them. In fact, they threw the whole weight -of a very fine charge on to us and fairly mowed -us down. There was about a minute of real -fighting on the slope, and blood flowed freely. We got -back into the fort, so to say; but the advancing -Fourth came back, too, and the casualties took us in -the rear. Then, unfortunately for us, I was hurled -over the sand-pit, and three chaps--all defenders--came -on top of me, and half the snow-bank -we had built came on top of them. With the -snowbank gone, it was all up. I tried fearfully hard to -get back, but of course the Fourth had guarded the -slope when they took it, and in about two minutes -from the time I fell out of our ruined fortifications, -all was over. In fact, the Fourth was now on the -top of the sand-pit and the shattered Fifth and -Sixth were down below. One by one our men were -flung, or fell, over, and then Fortescue advanced -from cover with Brown and blew his whistle, and -the battle was done.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We appealed; but Pegram said all was fair in -war, and Fortescue upheld him; and in a moment -of rage I told Pegram and Mitchell they had -behaved like dirty Germans, and Mitchell said they -might, or they might not, but war was war, anyway. -And he also said that the first thing to do in the -case of a battle is to win it. And if you win, then -what the losers say about your manners and tactics -doesn't matter a button, because the rest of -civilisation will instantly come over to your side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Blades said the Sixth had still a bit to learn -about strategy, apparently, and Pegram--showing -what he was to a beaten foe--offered to give me -some tips!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mind you, I'm not pretending we were not beaten, -because we were; and the victors fought quite as -well as we did; but I shall always say that, with -another referee than Fortescue, they might have -lost on a foul. No doubt they thought it was -magnificent, but it certainly wasn't war--at least, not -what I call war.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We challenged them to a return battle the next -Saturday, and Pegram said, as a rule, you don't -have return battles in warfare, but that he should -be delighted to lick us again, with other strategies, -of which he still had dozens at his disposal. Only -Pegram feared the snow would unfortunately all -be gone by next Saturday; and the wretched chap -was quite right--it had.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mitchell, by the way, got congestion of his lungs -two days after the battle, showing how sickness -always follows warfare sooner or later. But he -recovered without difficulty.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-mystery-of-fortescue"><span class="large">THE MYSTERY OF FORTESCUE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>My name is Abbott, and I came to Merivale two -years ago. I have got one leg an inch and -three-quarters shorter than the other, but I make -nothing of it. A nurse dropped me on a fender when -I was just born, owing to a mouse suddenly running -across her foot. It was more a misfortune than -anything, and my mother forgave her freely. When -I was old enough I also forgave her. In fact, I only -mention it to explain why I am not going into the -Army. All Abbotts do so, and it will be almost a -record my going into something else.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Many chaps have no fighting spirit, and, as a -rule, it is not strong in schoolmasters; yet when the -call came for men, three out of our five answered it -and went. Two, who were well up in the Terriers, -got commissions, and the other enlisted, so we were -only left with Brown, who can't see further than a -pink-eyed rat and isn't five foot three in his socks, -though in his high-heeled boots he may be, and -Fortescue.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>You will say this must have had a pretty bright -side for us, and, at first sight, no doubt it looks -hopeful. In fact, we took a very cheerful view of -it, because you can do what you like with Brown, -and Fortescue only teaches the Fifth and Sixth.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On the day that Hutchings cleared out to join -the Army, and we were only left with Fortescue, -Brown, and the Doctor, we were confronted with -serious news. In fact, after chapel on that day, we -heard, much to our anxiety, that old Dunston -himself was going to fill the breach.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Those were his very words. He talked with a -sort of ghastly funniness and used military terms.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now that our valued and honoured friends, -Mr. Hutchings, Mr. Manwaring, and Mr. Meadows -have answered their nation's call, with a loyalty to -King and Country inevitable in men who know -the demands as well as the privileges of Empire, it -behoves us, as we can and how we can, to fill their -places. This, then, in my contribution to the Great -War. I shall fight in no foreign trenches, but -labour here, sleeplessly if need be, and undertake -willingly, proudly, the arduous task that they have -left behind. I shall confront no cannon, but I -shall face the Lower School. Henceforth, after -that amalgamation of class and class which will be -necessary, you may count upon your head master -to answer the trumpet call and fill the breach. But -I do not disguise from myself that such labours -must prove no sinecure, and I trust the least, as -well as the greatest, to do their part and aid me -with good sense and intelligence."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, there it was; and we saw in a moment that -you can't escape the horrors of war, even though -you are on an island with the Grand Fleet between -you and the foe.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When it came to the point, the Doctor was fairly -friendly, but there was always something about him -that was awful and solemn and very depressing to -the mind. You could crib easily enough with him, -for he had a much more trustful disposition than -Hutchings, or Brown, or Fortescue, and was also -short-sighted at near range; but the general feeling -with the Doctor was a sense of weariness and -undoubted relief when it was over. It was as near -like being in church as anything could be.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Beginning at the beginning of subjects bored -him. In fact, he often found, when he went back -to the very start of a lesson, he'd forgotten it -himself, moving for so many years on only the higher -walks of learning; and then, finding that he had -forgotten some footling trifle on the first page of a -primer, he became abstracted and lost heart about -it, and seemed more inclined to think than to talk.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Another very curious habit he had was to start -on one thing--say Latin--and then drift off into -something else--say geography. Or he might -begin with algebra and then something would remind -him of the procession of the equinoxes, or the nebula -in Orion, and he would soar from earth and -wander among the heavenly bodies until the class was -over. And if he happened to be very much -interested himself, he wouldn't let it be over; and then -we had to sit on hearing the Doctor maundering -about double stars, or comets perhaps, while -everybody else was in the playground.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I think he got rather sick of the Lower School -after about a month of it, and Fortescue took over -a good many of the classes in his normal style, -which was more business-like than the Doctor and -more punctual in its working. Fortescue was cold -and hadn't much use for us in school or out, but -he was just, and we liked him pretty well until the -mystery began. Then we gradually got to dislike -him, and then despise him, and then hate him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was rather out of the common in a way, -being an Honourable and related to the famous -family of Fortescue, which has shone a good deal in -history off and on. And, of course, when the war -broke out, we naturally expected that the -Honourable Howard Fortescue would seize the -opportunity to shine also, which he could not do as an -undermaster at Merivale. He was a big, fine man, six -feet high, with a red complexion and a Roman nose. -Certainly, he did not play games, but he was all -right in other ways, and had been a lawn-tennis -player of the first-class in past times at Oxford, -and, in fact, got his half-blue for playing at that -sport against Cambridge.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So it seemed to us pretty low down that he didn't -join Kitchener's Army. As a matter of fact, he -didn't even try to. He was a very sublime sort of -man and not what you might call friendly to us, -yet if anybody appealed to him in any sort of way, -he generally thawed a bit and responded in quite -a kind manner.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We argued a good deal about him, and Travers -major said it was natural pride, because, being of -the family of Fortescue, he knew there was a gulf -fixed between him and us. And Travers did not -blame him, and more did I, or Briggs. But Rice, -who is Irish, and who had got sent up on the -report of Fortescue for saying, as he thought, -something disrespectful about the British Army, hated -Fortescue with a deadly hatred. Which was -natural, because Fortescue had misunderstood, and Rice -had really said nothing against the Army, but -against Protestants, which, being a Roman Catholic -himself, was merely his point of view and no -business of Fortescue's.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And when Fortescue wouldn't become a soldier, -Rice left no stone unturned, as they say, to worry -him about it. At that time Milly Dunston, the -Doctor's youngest daughter, had just come back -from a school where she had been finished, and -Rice's sister was at the same school, so she took -notice of Rice. And it soon turned out that Milly -Dunston also hated Fortescue. I believe he had -snubbed her in some way over English literature, -at which Fortescue was said to be a flyer, but Milly -Dunston was not. She had, in fact, praised a novel -to him, and he had laughed and told her it was quite -worthless, and advised her to read some novels by -people she had never heard of. And then he had -slighted the school where she had finished, and so, -when Rice explained that Fortescue was a coward -and preferred the comparative comfort of Merivale -to the manly business of going to Salisbury Plain -and living in mud and becoming useful to the -Empire, Milly Dunston quite agreed with Rice, and -said something ought to be done about it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We helped because we thought the same. In -fact, everybody seemed to be of one opinion, and -little by little Fortescue began to see signs of great -unpopularity growing up against him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At first he ignored these signs, being evidently -unprepared to take what you might call a delicate -sort of hint. For instance, he smoked a pipe and -kept a Japanese vase on the mantelpiece of his -study full of black crows' feathers, which he was in -the habit of picking up on Merivale Heath, where -he often went for lonely walks. With these -feathers he cleaned out the stem of his pipe.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Milly Dunston bought a white fowl for the -Doctor's dinner, and told the man at the shop to -send it without plucking the feathers off. Which -he did do, and she got them and gave them to Rice, -who dexterously took away Fortescue's black -feathers and substituted the white ones. But -Fortescue went on just as though he hadn't noticed it, -and when Saunders was with Fortescue, having -his special coaching lesson for a Civil Service -exam., he said that Fortescue took a white feather -and cleaned his pipe with it as though quite -indifferent to the colour.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Milly Dunston got a ball of knitting wool -and four knitting needles, for all of which she paid -herself, and Rice once more did the necessary -strategy and arranged them on Fortescue's desk, where -his eyes would fall upon them on returning to his -study. But they merely disappeared, and -Fortescue gave no sign.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Travers major started a very interesting -theory on the subject, and he said there must be -some reason far deeper than mere cowardice behind -the mystery of Fortescue. He said that it was -impossible for a Fortescue to be a coward in the -common or garden sense of funking danger, but he -admitted that he might be a coward in some other -way, such as not liking discipline, or living in a -tent, or wearing uncomfortable clothes, or getting -up early to the sound of a bugle. And Briggs said -that he thought perhaps Fortescue was keeping a -widowed mother and sisters, or an old aunt, or some -such person by his exertions at Merivale, in which -case, of course, he couldn't go. But Rice didn't -see why not, even if it was so; and more did I, -because the Government gives full compensation for -women relations in general; but Briggs said I had -got it all wrong, and that if Fortescue had an aunt, -she wouldn't gain a penny by his going to the war, -however old and poor she was. In fact, he believed -that only a wife who was going to have a baby got -anything at all, owing to the great need for keeping -up the race.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Rice said that it didn't make any difference -to his deadly feeling against Fortescue, and he also -said that he was going on rubbing it into Fortescue, -and leaving no stone unturned to make his life a -burden to him until he enlisted; and Travers major -said that Rice was feeling the instinct of pure -revenge, and Rice said he might be, but that was what -he intended to do. Anyway, he was sure the War -Office and Admiralty didn't care a button about aunts.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then we divided into two factions on the subject -of Fortescue, and one faction decided to leave him -to his conscience and mind its own business, which -wasn't driving Fortescue to war; while the other -side took the opposite course, and decided to work -at Fortescue with the utmost ingenuity until in -sheer despair he was driven to do his duty. And -Briggs and Travers major and Travers minor and -Saunders and Hopwood abandoned the pursuit, so -to say; while I and Rice and a chap called Mitchell, -all ably assisted by Milly Dunston, continued in -our great attempt to wake Fortescue to the call of -his country and storm his lines, as Rice said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As for Mitchell, he came into it rather curiously, -and it shows how an utter accident will sometimes -reveal anybody in their true colours, and surprise -other people, who thought they knew them and yet -didn't. Mitchell was a mere rabbit in character -and nothing in learning. And, in fact, he only had -one feature besides his nose, and that was his love -for money. Money, you might say, was his god, -and his financial operations in the matter of loans -to the kids were a study in themselves. But over -Fortescue he came out in a most unexpected -manner, and much to our surprise, made up a bit of -poetry about him! Which shows nothing happens -but the unexpected, and nobody was more -astonished in a sort of way than Mitchell himself, -because he never knew he could do it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>How to use the poem to the best purpose was a -question that Milly solved. She typed it by night -on her own typewriter, and then directed Rice, at -the first opportunity, to put it on Fortescue's desk -when his study was empty. And he did so, and this -is what Fortescue found awaiting him when he -returned:</span></p> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>"You ask us lots of questions</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And we answer if we can,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And now we'll jolly well ask you one.</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>You call yourself a man,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Then why on earth don't you enlist</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And try to do your share</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Where the 'Black Marias' bellow</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And the shrapnel's in the air?</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And if you will not tell us why,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Then we'll tell you instead.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>It's just because you funk it</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And would hate to be shot dead.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>In other words, in fact in one,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Most Honourable Howard,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Though of the race of Fortescue,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>You are a bally coward!"</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>We didn't much envy Fortescue his feelings when -he read these stirring lines, and in fact, I, in my -hopefulness, believed they would actually win our -object and start Fortescue on the path of duty and -rouse him from his lethargical attitude to the war; -but, strange to say, they went off him like water -off a duck's back. Not a muscle moved, so to -speak, or if it did nobody saw it do so. He went on -his way for all the world as if civilisation was not -in its death throes. And then Rice--to show you -what Rice still felt about it--offered Mitchell a -week's pocket-money if he would write yet another -poem of even a more fiery and stinging character. -And Mitchell gladly agreed, and took enormous -trouble and burnt the midnight oil, as the saying -is, and produced certainly a poem full of rhymes -and great abuse of Fortescue, yet not nearly such -a fine poem as the first. And Rice said it wasn't -up to the mark and wouldn't pay for it, and -Mitchell said it was a contract and written on -commission and must be paid for by law. But Rice -knew no law and he showed the poem to Travers -major, who instantly tore it up and kicked Mitchell -next time he met him and told him he was a dirty -little cad.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So Mitchell cooled off to Rice, and, in fact, his -next poem was actually about Rice--not written -to order, but for pure hate of Rice--and it was -undoubtedly a bitter and powerful poem; but Rice, -being far stronger than Mitchell, made him eat it -and swallow it in front of his class, though it was -written in red ink. And Mitchell said if he died, -Rice would be hung. But he felt no ill effects, -though he rather hoped he would.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At this season, however, a far greater and more -splendid poem than any Mitchell could do had -appeared in England. In fact, it was set to music -and England rang with it--also Ireland. At -least, so Rice said, because his mother had told -him so in a letter. There was a special mention -of Ireland in it, and Rice's mother told him that it -had made more recruits in Ireland than Mr. Redmond -and Sir Edward Carson put together.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Rice never does anything by halves, and he -actually learnt the poem by heart, and also found -out the tune somehow and sang it when possible. -Once, in fact, he woke up in the night singing it -from force of habit, as the saying is, and his -prefect, who happened to be Mactaggert, said there -was a time for everything, and threatened to -report Rice if he did it again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I asked Rice why he had made such a great effort -and learnt anything he wasn't obliged to learn, and -he said, firstly, because it was the grandest poem -he had ever heard, and, secondly, because he had a -great idea some day to sing it to Fortescue, as it -applied specially to him by dwelling on the -fearfulness of hanging back when the Empire cried out -for you.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The poem said the Empire was calling to every -one of her sons of low and high degree, and so, of -course, it was also calling to Fortescue; and Rice -thought that as it was pretty certain Fortescue -wouldn't read it, and, no doubt, fought shy of -patriotic poetry in general just now, he meant to -wait for some happy opportunity when Fortescue -was not in a position to get out of earshot and sing -it to him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the opportunity did not come, so Rice -adopted the former plan of leaving the poem in -Fortescue's room. He had plenty of printed copies -of the words, because the poem, after first -appearing in a London newspaper of great renown, had -been copied, at the special wish of the author, into -hundreds and thousands of other papers; and to -show you the tremendous liking people had for it, -even the </span><em class="italics">Merivale Weekly Trumpet</em><span> printed it and -Milly Dunston found it there.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She, by the way, had another pretty bitter cut at -Fortescue, which cost more money, and she told -Rice she had paid five shillings and sixpence for -her great insult. In fact, she sent Fortescue a -shawl and a cap, such as is worn by aged women, -with red, white, and blue ribbons in it. Which, of -course, meant that Fortescue was an old woman -himself. It was frightfully deadly if you understood -it, and Rice said that only a girl could have -thought of such a cruel thing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The parcel was sent by post, but once more we -were doomed to disappointment, as they say, for -nothing came of it except slight advantage to the -matron in Fortescue's house. In fact, he gave her -the five shilling shawl, but the cap we never saw -again, and doubtless it was burnt to a cinder in -Fortescue's fire.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Rice tried the patriotic poem, and so as -there should be no mistake he covered the back of -it with paste, and in this manner fastened it very -firmly to the looking-glass, just behind the spot -where Fortescue kept his pipes on the mantelpiece.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We didn't hope much from it, and expected he -would merely scrape it off and take it lying down -in his usual cowardly manner. But imagine our -immense surprise when we found he had sneaked -to the Doctor! And even that was nothing -compared to the extraordinary confession that he had -made to the Doctor. And it all came out, and, as -Mitchell said, a bolt from the blue fell on him and -me and Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After stating the facts of the case, which were -that Mr. Fortescue had been from the beginning of -the term subject to a great deal of annoyance from -boys, who laboured under the offensive delusion -that he ought to go to the Front, the Doctor said--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is my honoured friend, Mr. Fortescue's wish -that I inform you of the circumstances which -prevent an action which he would have been the first -to take did his physical welfare permit of it. But -unhappily he suffers from an enlarged aorta and it -is impossible for him to take his place in our line of -defences, though that impossibility has caused him -the sorrow of his life. It happens, however, that -Nature has blessed Mr. Fortescue with abundant -gifts while denying him his health, and in the pages -of that work of reference known as 'Who's Who'--pages -that I fear few among you will ever adorn--may -be found the distinguished name of the -Honourable Howard Fortescue in connection with -notable achievements. For Mr. Fortescue is a votary -of the Muses. Already he has two volumes of verse -to his credit and three works of fiction; while in a -subsequent edition of the volume, it will doubtless -be recorded that he was the author of a certain -admirable poem which has recently stirred the United -Kingdom to its depths and sent more young men -to the enlisting stations than any other inspiration -of the time. But it was, it seems, left for one of -my pupils to combine idiocy with insolence and -affix a copy of his own immortal composition to -Mr. Fortescue's looking-glass! This was positively -the last straw, and my esteemed colleague who, up -to the present time has allowed his sense of humour -to ignore your insufferable impertinences, felt that -it was bad for yourselves to proceed further upon -so perilous a path. Very rightly, therefore, he -called my attention to a persecution I should have -thought impossible within these walls. He has no -desire to give me the names of the culprits, and it -is well for them that he has not; but having placed -the whole circumstances in my hands, I cannot -permit the outrage to pass without recording my -abhorrence and shame. I may further remind you -that Wednesday next is our half-term whole -holiday, and if before that date no private and abject -apology is committed to the hands of Mr. Fortescue -by those who have disgraced themselves and put -this affront upon him--if that is not done, and if -I do not hear from him that he is thoroughly -satisfied with the nature of that expression of regret, -then there will be no half-term whole holiday and -righteous and guilty alike will suffer."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Needless to say this tremendous speech made a -very great impression on me and Rice and Mitchell. -Milly Dunston did not hear it, but it made a great -impression on her too, when she heard the facts, -and we felt, in a way, that she was a good deal to -blame, because she could easily have looked up -"Who's Who," being free of the Doctor's library, -which we were not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, there was no difficulty about the -apology, which I wrote with help from Mitchell; but, -showing what girls are, though she had invented -most of the things we did to Fortescue, she calmly -refused to sign the apology and said she should -apologise personally to him. No doubt she didn't, -and Rice chucked her afterwards.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Rice was the most cut up. He said he should -never feel the same again after being such a simple -beast, and he changed over from hating Fortescue -to thinking him the most wonderful and splendid -man in the world, and far the best poet after -Shakespeare. And to show how frightfully Rice -feels things and the rash way he goes on, I can -only tell you that when we signed the apology, he -cut himself on his arm, just above the wrist, and -got two drops of blood and signed with them. And -after his name he wrote the grim words "his -blood," so that Fortescue shouldn't think it was -merely red ink.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The apology went like this:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span class="smaller">We, the undersigned members of the Lower Fourth form of -Merivale beg to express our great regret for having tried to -make the Honourable Howard Fortescue go to the Front. We -freely confess we ought not to have done so and that we were -much deluded. We utterly did not know that he had got an -aorta, and we are very sorry that he has, and we hope that -he will soon recover from it. And we beg to say that we -think his poem the best poem we have ever read and also -better than Virgil. And we hope that he will overlook it on -this occasion and are willing to do anything he may decide -upon to show the extent of our great regret.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span class="smaller">(Signed) RUPERT MITCHELL, -<br /> PATRICK RICE (his blood), -<br /> ARTHUR ABBOTT.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>But nothing came of it. The Honourable -Fortescue went on his way quite unmoved and treated -us just as usual, without any sign of forgiveness -or otherwise. And whether he ever reported our -names to Dunston or not, we never knew. But I -don't think he did. At any rate, he must have said -the apology was enough; which it certainly was. -And the end justified the means, as they say, -because the whole holiday at half-term passed off as -usual.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-countryman-of-kant"><span class="large">THE COUNTRYMAN OF KANT</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Dr. Dunston had a way of introducing a new chap -to the school after prayers. The natural instinct -of a new chap, of course, is to slide in quietly and -slowly settle down, first in his class and then in the -school; but old Dunston doesn't allow this. When -a new boy turns up, he jaws over him, and prophesies -about him, and says we shall all like him, and -so on; and if the new chap's father is anybody, -which he sometimes happens to be, then Dunston -lets us know it. The result is that he generally -puts everybody off a new chap from the first; but -the Fifth and Sixth allow for this. As Travers -major pointed out, it's a rum instinct of human -nature to hate anything you are ordered to like, -and to scoff at anything you are ordered to admire; -so, thanks to Travers, who is frightfully clever in -his way, and, in fact, going to Woolwich next term, -we always allowed for the Doctor's great hope -about a new boy, and didn't let it put us off him. -As a matter of fact, Dunston often withdrew the -praise afterwards, and we noticed, for some queer -reason, that if a boy had a celebrated father, he -always turned out to be the sort that Dunston hated -most; and often and often, when he had to rag or -flog that sort of boy, the Doctor fairly wept to -think what the boy's celebrated father would say -if he could see him now.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When Jacob Wundt came to Merivale, Dunston -just went the limit about him; and it was all the -more footling because Wundt grinned, and -evidently highly approved of what was said about him. -He was the first German the Doctor had ever had -for a pupil, I believe--anyway, the first in living -memory--so, perhaps, naturally he got a bit -above himself about it; and Wundt got a bit above -himself, too.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"In Jacob Wundt we embrace one from the -Hamlet among nations," began Dr. Dunston. "In -Jacob Wundt we welcome the countryman of Kant -and Schiller, the contemporary of Eucken and -Harnack! Moreover, Colonel von Wundt, his esteemed -parent, occupies a position of some importance in -the Fatherland, and has done no small part to -perfect the magnificent army that great nation is -known to possess."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, we looked at Jacob Wundt, and saw one of -the short, fat sort, with puddingy limbs and -yellowish hair close-cropped, and a fighting sort of head. -He looked straight at you, but he never looked at -anybody as though he liked them, and we jolly soon -found he didn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As to Dr. Dunston's German heroes, we only -knew one name, and that was Schiller; but as the -Fifth and Sixth happened to be swotting "The -Robbers" for an exam., and as "The Robbers" -happens to be a ripping good thing in its way, we were -not disinclined to be friendly to Wundt, as far as -the Fifth and Sixth can be friendly to a new boy -low in the school.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We soon found that Wundt was very un-English -in his ideas, also in his manners and customs. He -could talk English well enough to explain what he -meant, and we soon found that he thought a jolly -sight too well of Germany and a jolly sight too -badly of England. At first we thought he had been -sent to Merivale to make him larger-minded, so that -he could go back and make other Germans more -larger-minded, too. But he said it was nothing of -the kind. He hadn't come to England to learn our -ways--which were beastly, in his opinion--but -to get perfect in our language, which might be -useful to him when he became a soldier.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was very peculiar, and did things I never -knew a boy do before. And the most remarkable -thing he did was always to be looking on ahead to -when he was grown up. Of course, everybody -knows they're going to grow up, and some chaps are -even keen about it in a sort of way, but very few -worry about it like Wundt did. I said to him once--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What the dickens are you always wanting time -to pass for, so that you may be grown up? I can -tell you it isn't all beer and skittles being a man. -At any rate, I've often heard my father say he -wishes he was young again."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He may," answered Wundt. "You've told me -your father was an 'International' and a 'Blue,' -and no doubt he'd like to excel at football again. -But I despise games, and I've got very good reasons -for wanting to grow up, which are private."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, he didn't put it in such good English -as that, but that was the sense of it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He wasn't what you call a success generally, for -he didn't like work, except history; and he hated -our history, and there wasn't much doing at -Merivale in the matter of German history. But he took -to English well, and would always talk it if he -could get anybody to listen, which wasn't often. -He said it was all rot about English being a -difficult language. He thought it easy and feeble at -best. All his people could speak it--in fact, -everybody in Germany could, when it suited them to do so.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As for games, he had no use for them; but he -was sporting in his own way. His favourite sport -consisted in going out of bounds; and he showed -very decent strategy in doing so, and gave even -Norris and Booth a tip or two. Norris and Booth -had made a fair art of trespassing in private game -preserves, at the Manor House and other such -places round about Merivale. In fact, game -preserves were just common or garden Sunday walks -to them. But they had been caught by a -gamekeeper once and both flogged; and Wundt showed -them how a reverse like that need never have -happened. He could turn his coat inside out, and do -other things of that sort, which were very deceptive -even to the trained gamekeeper eye; and, finding a -scarecrow in a turnip field, he took it, and as it -consisted of trousers and coat and an old billycock -hat, Wundt was now in possession of a complete -disguise. He hid the things in a secret haunt, that -really belonged to Norris and Booth; and they liked -him at first and helped him a good deal; but finally -they quarrelled with him, because he said England -was a swine's hole, and told them that a time was -coming--he hoped not till he grew up--when -England would simply be a Protectorate of -Germany, whatever that is. So they invited him to -fight whichever he liked of them, and when he -refused, though just the right weight, they smacked -his head and dared him to go to their secret cave again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When they smacked his head, his eyes glittered -and he smiled, but nothing more. He never would -fight with fists, because he said only apes and -Englishmen fought with Nature's weapons. But at -single-stick he was exceedingly good, and, in fact, -better than anybody in the school but Forrester. -He much wished we could use swords and slash -each other's faces, as he hoped to do when he -became a student in his own country, and he said it -was a mean sight to see old Dunston and Brown -and Manwaring and Hutchings and the other -masters all without a scratch. He said in Germany -every self-respecting man of the reigning classes -was gashed to the bone; and decent people wouldn't -know a man who wasn't, because he was sure to be -a shopkeeper or some low class thing like that. -As to games, he held them in great contempt. It -seems people of any class in Germany only play -one game and that's the war game--</span><em class="italics">Kriegspiel</em><span>, -he called it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said: "What the deuce is the good of always -playing the war game if you're not going to war?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said: "</span><em class="italics">Ach!</em><span>"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a favourite word of his, and he used it in -all sorts of ways with all sorts of expressions. -Forbes, who, like me, had a kind of interest in -Wundt that almost amounted to friendship, asked -him if women played the war game, and he said he -didn't know what they played except the piano. -All women were worms, in his opinion. Of course, -he gassed about everything German, and said -that, from science and art and music to -matchboxes and sausages, his country was first and the -rest nowhere. He joined our school cadet corps -eagerly, and became an officer of some sort in a -month; but he was fearfully pitying about it, and -said that English ways of drilling were enough to -make a cat laugh, or words to that effect. After -he became an officer, he put on fearful side, though -as just one of the rank and file he'd been quite -humble; and then, when he ordered Saunders, who -wasn't an officer, to do something out of drill hours, -and Saunders told him to do it himself, he turned -white and dashed at Saunders, who, of course, -licked him on the spot and made his nose bleed. He -was properly mad about that, and said that if it -had happened in Germany, Saunders would have -been shot; but as it happened in England, of course -Saunders wasn't. Travers major tried to explain -to Wundt that we weren't real soldiers, and that, -when not with the cadet corps, he was no better -than anybody else, but he couldn't see this. He -said that in his country if you were once an officer, -you were always an officer, and that there was a -gulf fixed between the men and their officers; and -he called Saunders "cannon fodder" to Batson; -and when Batson told Saunders, Saunders made -Wundt carry him on his back up to the gym., and -there licked him again and made his nose bleed -once more, much to his wrath.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On the whole, owing to his ideas, which he -wouldn't keep to himself, Wundt didn't have too -good a time at Merivale. He couldn't understand -us, and said we were slackers and rotters, and that -our mercenary army was no good, and that -Germany was the greatest country in the world, and -we'd live to know it--perhaps sooner than we -thought. Travers major tried hard to explain to -him how it was, but he couldn't or wouldn't understand.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers said: "It's like this. Germany takes -herself too seriously and other countries not -seriously enough. An Englishman is always saying -his own country is going to the dogs, and his Army's -rotten, and his Navy only a lot of old sardine tins -that ought to be scrapped, and all that sort of thing. -That's his way, and when you bally Germans hear -us talk like that, you go and believe it, and don't -understand it's our national character to run -ourselves down. And you chaps always go to the other -extreme and brag about your army, and your guns, -and your discipline, and your genius, and all the -rest of it; and, of course, we don't believe you in the -least, because gas like that carries its own reward, -and nobody in the world could be so much better -than all the rest of the world as you think you are. -And if you imagine, because we run ourselves down, -we would let anybody else dare to run us down, -you're wrong. And if you think our free army is -frightened of your slave army, and would mind -taking you on, ten to one, on land or sea, you're -also wrong."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a prophecy in a way, though Travers -little knew it, for the war broke out next holidays, -and when we went back to school, it was in full -swing. And so, naturally, was Wundt. He wasn't -going home for the vac. in any case, but stopping -at Merivale, and he had done so. He told me the -Doctor had talked some piffle to him about the -duties of non-combatants; but, as Wundt truly said, -every German in the world is a combatant in time -of war, and if you can't do one thing, you must try -and do another. In fact, old Dunston little knew -the German character, and when he found it out, -he was a good bit astonished, not to say hurt.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He, however, discovered it jolly quickly, and I -did first of all, because, owing to being rather -interested in human nature, I encouraged Wundt in a -sort of way, and let him talk to me, and tried to -see things from his point of view, as far as I -could--that is, without doing anything unsporting to -England. The great point was to keep your -temper with Wundt; and, of course, most chaps -couldn't, because he was so beastly sure he was -right--at least, his nation was. But I didn't -mind all that humbug, and found, by being patient -with him, that, under all this flare-up, he was what -you might call deadly keen on his blessed -Fatherland. He fairly panted with patriotism, and in -these moments, quite ignored my feelings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now you know why I wanted to grow up," he -said to me. "I hoped this wouldn't have happened -till I could be in it. But it will be all over and -your country a thing of the past before I'm -sixteen--worse luck!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As he was going to be sixteen in October, that -was a bit hopeful of Wundt. His father or -somebody had stuffed him up that Germany was being -sat on by the world, and couldn't stand it much -longer; and after the war began, he honestly -believed that it was the end of England, and, in a -way, he was more decent than ever he'd been before. -When we came back at the end of the holidays, -Wundt welcomed me in a very queer sort of -manner. Somebody had treated me just the same in -the past, and, after trying for a week to think who -it was, I remembered it was my Uncle Samuel, after -I'd lost my mother. Wundt evidently felt sorry -for all of us in general and for me in particular -as his special friend.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course," he said, "I can't pretend I didn't -want it to happen; but you won't see it is for the -good of the world that your country's got to go -down. And so I'm sorry for you, if anything."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do you really think it has got to go down?" I -asked Wundt, and he said it wasn't so much what -he thought as what was bound to take place.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Either England's got to go, or else Germany," -he said, "and as the Teuton is the world-power for -religion and culture and everything that really -matters, and also miles strongest, England's naturally -got to go. You've had your turn; now it's ours. -The Kaiser speaks, Germany listens and obeys."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Booth asked him what day the Germans would -be at Merivale, and if he'd got a plan of campaign -marked out; and he said about the half-term -holiday, or earlier, they would come. And Booth said -that would mean a short term, anyway, which had -its bright side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Tracey, who is awful sarcastic, though it -doesn't generally come off, asked Wundt how he -had arrived at this idea, and Wundt said from -reading papers that his father had sent him via Holland.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your papers are chockful of lies," he said. "If -you want the truth, those of you who can read -German can see it in my papers."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, some of the Sixth could read German, -and they borrowed his papers, and were much -surprised that Wundt really believed such absolute -rot against the evidence of our papers. But he was -simply blind, and went so far as to say that he'd -sooner believe the pettiest little German rag than -all our swaggerest papers, let alone the </span><em class="italics">Merivale -Weekly Trumpet</em><span>, which was fearfully warlike, -because the editor had a son who was training for the -Front.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But most of all, Wundt hated </span><em class="italics">Punch</em><span>, and, finding -this out, we used to slip the cartoons into his -desk, and put them under his pillow, and arrange -them elsewhere where he must find them. These -made him fairly foam at the mouth, and he said he -hoped the first thing the Germans would do, when -they got to London, would be to go to </span><em class="italics">Punch</em><span> and -put the men who drew the pictures and made the -jokes to the sword.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>No doubt it was because they were so jolly true.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The masters were very decent to Wundt, -especially Fortescue, who saw how trying it must -be for him, living in an enemy's country; and when -Wundt told me in secret that he felt his position -was becoming unbearable, and that he had written -and asked if he could be exchanged for a prisoner, -or something. He said in a gloomy sort of voice: -"I may tell you I haven't wasted my time here, and -perhaps some day Doctor Dunston and you chaps -will know it to your cost."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, though friendly enough to Wundt, I didn't -much like that, and told my own special chum, -Manwaring, what he'd said; and Manwaring told -me that in his opinion Wundt ought to be -neutralised immediately. But I knew enough of Wundt -to feel certain he could never be properly -neutralised, because he had told me that once a German -always a German, and that he'd rather be a dead -German than a living King of England, and that if -he had to stop in England for a million years, he'd -still be as German as ever, if not more so. And -he'd also fairly shaken with pride because he'd read -somewhere that the Kaiser had said that he would -give any doctor a hundred thousand marks if he -would draw every drop of English blood out of his -veins. And when he said it, Tracey had answered -that if the Kaiser came over to England, there were -plenty of doctors who would oblige him for half the money.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But now I thought, without any unkind feeling -to Wundt, that I ought to tell Travers major, as -head of the school, of his dark threats; and I did; -and Travers thanked me and said I was quite right -to tell him, because war is war, and you never know.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, if Wundt was going to turn out to be -a spy, it wasn't possible for me to be his friend, -and I told him so. And he saw that. He said he -was sorry, if anything, to lose my friendship, but -he should always do all that he considered right in -the service of his country, and he couldn't let me -stand between him and his duty. Which amounted -to admitting that he was a spy, or, at any rate, was -trying to be one; for, of course, at Merivale a spy -was no more use than he would have been at the -North Pole. There was simply nothing to spy -about, except the photographs of new girls on -Brown's mantelpiece.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Travers made a move, and he was sorry to -do it; but he was going to be a soldier, just as much -as Wundt was, and though he never jawed about -Woolwich like Wundt did about Potsdam, yet he -was quite as military at heart; and though he didn't -wear the English colours inside his waistcoat -lining, like Wundt wore the German colours, as he -admitted to me in a friendly moment, yet Travers felt -just as keen about England as Wundt did about -Germany, and quite as cast down when we heard -about Mons as Wundt was when he heard about the -retreat on the Marne. He pretended, of course, it -was only strategy, but he knew jolly well it wasn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Travers major reluctantly decided that, -with a spy, certain things must be done. He didn't -like doing them, but they had to be done. And the -first thing was to prove it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You can only prove a chap is a spy by spying -yourself," Travers said, and well knowing the -peculiar skill of Norris and Booth, he told them to -keep a careful lookout on Wundt and report -anything suspicious; which they did do, because it was -work to which they were well suited by their -natures, and they soon reported that Wundt went -long walks out of bounds, and evidently avoided -people as much as possible. Once they surprised -him making notes, and when he saw Booth coming, -he tore them up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Travers major did a strong thing, and -ordered that the box of Wundt should be searched. -I happened to know that Wundt was very keen to -get a letter off by post, which he said was -important, yet hesitated to send for fear of accidents; -and that decided Travers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So it was done, quite openly and without subterfuge, -as they say, because we just took the key -from Wundt by force and told him we were going to -do it, and then did it. He protested very violently, -but the protest, as Travers said, was not sustained.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And we found his box contained fearfully -incriminating matter, for he had a one-barrelled -breech-loading pistol in it, with a box of -ammunition, of which we had never heard until that -moment, and a complete map on a huge scale of -Merivale and the country round. It was a wonderful -map, and how he had made it, and nobody ever seen -it, was extraordinary. At least, so it seemed, till -we remembered that he had been here through the -holidays on his own. There were numbers in red -ink all over the map, and remarks carefully written -in German; and though it is impossible to give you -any idea of the map, which was beautifully drawn -and about three yards square, if not more, yet I -can reproduce the military remarks upon it, which -Travers translated into English.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They went like this, and showed in rather a -painful way what Wundt really was at heart. And it -showed what Germany was, too; and no doubt -thousands of other Germans all over the United -Kingdom had been doing the same thing, and still are.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After the first shock of being discovered, I -honestly believe he was pleased to be seen in his true -colours, and gloried in his crime.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>These were the notes in cold blood, as you may say:--</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>1. </span><em class="italics">A wood. Good cover for guns. In the middle -is a spring where a gamekeeper's wife gets water. -It might easily be poisoned.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>2. </span><em class="italics">A large number of fields. Some have potatoes -in them and some have turnips.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>3. </span><em class="italics">A village with fifty or sixty houses and about -two hundred and thirty-five inhabitants, mostly -women and children. Presents no difficulties.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>4. </span><em class="italics">A church with a tower. A very good place -for wireless or light gun. The pews inside would -be good for wounded. Cover for infantry in the -churchyard.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>5. </span><em class="italics">A stream with one bridge, which might easily -be blown up; but it would not be necessary, as the -stream is only six feet across, and you could easily -walk over it. Too small for pontoons. Small fish -in it.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>6. </span><em class="italics">A large field which was planted with corn, -but is now empty. A good place for aeroplanes to -land. Can't find out where corn is gone.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>7. </span><em class="italics">A railroad with one line that goes up to main -line. Could easily be destroyed, but might have -strategic value.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>8. </span><em class="italics">A hill where guns could be placed that would -cover advance of troops on Merivale.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>9. </span><em class="italics">The school. This stands on rising ground a -mile from the hill, No. 8, and could easily be -destroyed by field-guns. Or it could easily be used -as a hospital. It contains a hundred beds, and the -chapel could easily hold a hundred more. There is -a garden and a fountain of good water. Also a -well in the house. The playing-field is a quarter of -a mile off. Tents could easily be put up there for -troops.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>10. </span><em class="italics">A village schoolroom three hundred yards -from the church. It has been turned into a -hospital for casualties. There are thirteen or fourteen -nurses of the Red Cross waiting for wounded -soldiers to arrive. They are amateurs, but have -passed some sort of examination. The wounded -are said to be coming. This place could easily be -shelled from the hill marked No. 8.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>11. </span><em class="italics">A forest full of game, and in the middle of -it a park and the Manor House, belonging to a man -called Sir Neville Carew. He has great wealth, -and the mansion could easily be looted, and then -either used for officers or burned down.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>12. </span><em class="italics">A farm rich in sheep and cattle and chickens, -also turkeys. It would present no difficulties.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>13. </span><em class="italics">The sea. This is distant ten miles from here, -and there is an unfortified bay, which looks deep. -We went there for a holiday last summer, and some -of us went out in a boat. I pretended to fish and -tried to take soundings, but regret to report that I -failed. However, the water was quite deep enough -for small battle-craft. The cliffs are red and made -of hard rock. There are about twenty fishing-boats, -and a coastguard station on top; but I saw no -wireless. There is a semaphore.</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>14. </span><em class="italics">A medical doctor's house with a garage. -Would present no difficulties. I saw petrol tins in -the yard.</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>That was all, and Travers at once decided to hand -the map and the pistol and cartridges to Doctor -Dunston.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm very unwilling to do it," he said, "but this -is a bit too thick altogether. It is pure, unadulterated -spying of the most blackguard sort. And if I -had anything to do with it, I should fine Wundt -every penny he's got and imprison him for six -months and then deport him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So he took the evidence of guilt to Dunston, and, -of course, Dunston had the day of his life over -them. Some of the masters considered it funny, -and I believe Peacock, who translated the map for -Dunston, thought it was rather fine of Wundt; -but old Dunston didn't think it was funny, or fine, -either. He had the whole school in chapel, and -hung up the map on a blackboard, and waved the -pistol first in one hand and then the other, and -talked as only he can talk when he's fairly roused -by a great occasion.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I believe what hurt him most was Wundt saying -it would be so jolly easy to knock out Merivale; -and to hear Wundt explaining how the school could -be shelled fairly made old Dunston get on his hind -legs. In his great moments he always quotes -Shakespeare, and he did now. He said he wasn't -going to have a serpent sting him twice, anyway. -He also said it was enough to make Kant and -Goethe turn in their graves; and, that for all he -could see, they had expended their genius in vain, -so far as their native land was concerned. And -then he went on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Needless to say, Jacob Wundt, you are technically -expelled. I say 'technically,' because, until I -have communicated with your unfortunate father, -it is impossible literally to expel you. To be -expelled, a boy must be expelled from somewhere to -somewhere, and for the moment there is nowhere -that I know of to where you can be expelled. But -rest assured that a way shall be found at the -earliest opportunity. Indeed, it may be my duty to -hand you over to the military authorities, and, -should that be the case, I shall not hesitate. For -the present you are interned."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Wundt merely said "</span><em class="italics">Ach!</em><span>" but he said it in -such a fearfully contemptuous tone of voice that -the Doctor flogged him then and there; and Travers -major thought Wundt ought not to have been -flogged by rights, but treated as a prisoner of war, -or else shot--he didn't seem to be sure which.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And as for Wundt, he evidently thought the -Belgian atrocities were a fool to his being flogged; and -he got so properly wicked that the Doctor had him -locked up all night, with nothing but bread and -water to eat, and the gardener to guard him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then a good many chaps began to be sorry for -Wundt; but their sorrow was wasted, for the very -next day Dunston heard from his father that Wundt -could go home through Holland, with two other -German boys who were being looked after by the -American Ambassador, or some such pot in -London. So he went, and after he had gone, Fortescue -asked the Doctor if he might have Wundt's map, as -a psychological curiosity, or some such thing, and -Dunston said he had burned the map to cinders, -and seemed a good deal pained with Fortescue for -wanting to treasure such an outrage.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Wundt promised to write to me when he left; -but he never did, and, perhaps, if it's true that -German boys of sixteen go to the Front, he may be -there now. And if he is, and if his side wins, and -if Wundt is with the Germans when they come to -Merivale, I know the first thing he'll do will be to -slay old Dunston, and the second thing he'll do will -be to slay Saunders.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But in the meantime, of course, there is a pretty -rosy chance he may get slain himself. Not that -he'd mind, if he knew his side was on top and going -to conquer. Only, perish the thought, as they say.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="travers-minor-scout"><span class="large">TRAVERS MINOR, SCOUT</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Before the fearful war with Germany began, -Dr. Dunston was not very keen about us joining the -Boy Scouts on half-holidays. He liked better for -us to play games; and if you didn't play games, he -liked you to go out with Brown to botanize in the -hedges. It was a choice of evils to me and Travers -minor, because we hated games and we fairly -loathed botanizing with Brown. Unluckily for us, -he was the Forum master of the Lower Fourth, and -so we had more than enough of him in school, -without seeing him pull weeds to pieces on half-holidays -and talk about the wonders of Nature. For that -matter, he was about the wonderfullest wonder of -Nature himself, if he'd only known it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But after the War began, old Dunston quite -changed his attitude to the Boy Scouts, and, in some -ways, that was the best thing that ever happened -for me and Travers minor, though in other ways it -was not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I'm called Briggs, and Travers minor and I came -the same term and chummed from the first. We -had the same opinions about most things, and -agreed about hating games and preferring a more -solitary life; but we were very different in many -respects, for Travers minor was going to be a -clergyman, and I had no ideas of that sort, my father -being a stock broker in the "Brighton A" market. -Travers minor was more excitable than Travers -major, though quite as keen about England, and -after being divided for some time between the Navy -and the Church, he rather cleverly combined the -two professions, and determined to be the chaplain -of a battleship. His enthusiasm for England was -very remarkable, and after a time, though I had -never been the least enthusiastic about England -before, yet, owing to the pressure of Travers minor, -I got to be. Nothing like he was, of course. He -used to fairly tremble about England, and once, -when an Irish boy, who didn't know Home Rule -had been passed, said he'd just as soon blow his -nose on the Union Jack as his handkerchief--which -was rot, seeing he never had one--young -Travers flew at him like a tiger from a bow, and -knocked him down and hammered the back of his -head on the floor of the chapel. As soon as he had -recovered from his great surprise, the Irish -boy--Rice he was called--got up and licked Travers -minor pretty badly, which he could easily do, -being cock of the Lower School; but, all the same, -Rice respected Travers, for doing what he did, and -when he heard that Home Rule was passed, he said -that altered the case, and never cheeked the -English flag again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Dunston changed towards the Boy Scouts, -and said such of us as liked might join them; and -about twenty did. We were allowed to hunt about -in couples on half-holidays; and the rule for a Boy -Scout is always to be on the look-out to justify his -existence when scouting, and to assist people, and -help the halt and the lame, and tell people the way -if they want to know it, and buck about generally, -and, if possible, never stop a bit of scouting till -he's done a good action of some kind to somebody. -Of course, we had to do our good actions in bounds, -and Travers minor often pointed out, as a rather -curious thing, that over and over again there were -chances to do good actions if we'd gone out of -bounds--sometimes even over a hedge into a field.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But he generally found something useful to do, -and I generally didn't. The good action that -occurred oftenest was to give pennies to tramps, but -Travers did not support this. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I dare say you've noticed, Briggs, that all these -chaps who ask us for money have got starving -families at home. Well, if it's true, they ought to be at -home looking after them. But it isn't true. As a -rule, they spend the money on beer. And when you -ask them why they haven't enlisted, they all say -they're too short, or too tall, or haven't got any -back teeth, or something."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We were scouting the day Travers minor pointed -this out, and that was the very afternoon that we -met the best tramp of the lot. I should have -believed him myself and tried to help him; but -Travers, strangely enough, is much kinder to animals -and dumb creatures in general than he is to men, -especially tramps, and it took a very clever tramp -to make him believe him. But this one did.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was old and grizzled and grey, and his -moustache was yellow with tobacco. He was sitting -rolling a cigarette in the hedge, and as we passed -together in uniform with our scout poles, he got up -and saluted us with a military salute.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What a bit of luck!" he said. "You're just -the chaps I'm on the look-out for."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers stopped and so did I.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"D'you want anything, my good man?" said Travers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, I do. I want a sharp Boy Scout to listen -to me. I'm telling secrets, mind you; but you're in -the Service just as much as I am, and I can trust you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What Service?" asked Travers minor. "What -Service are you in?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The Secret Service," said the tramp. "I dare -say you think I'm only a badgering old loafer, and -not worth the price of the boots on my feet. Far -from it. I'm Sir Baden-Powell's brother! That's -why I was glad to see you boys come along."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't believe it," said Travers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite right not to," answered the old man. -"That is, till I explain. As you know, the -country's fairly crawling with German spies at present, -and it takes a pretty good chap to smell them out. -That's my game. I've run down thirty-two during -the last month, and I'm on the track of a lot more; -but to keep up my character of an old tramp, I -dress like this; and then they don't suspect me, and -I just meet 'em in pubs and stand 'em drinks, and -tip 'em a bit of their lingo and pretend I'm German, too."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I was a good deal impressed by this, and so was -Travers minor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've been standing drinks to a doubtful -customer only this morning, and spent my last -half-crown doing it," went on the great Baden-Powell's -brother. "That's why I stopped you boys. I'm -a good way from my base for the moment, and I -shall be obliged if you can lend me half a sovereign, -or whatever you've got on you, till to-morrow. If -you let me have your address, you shall get it by -midday; and I'll mention your names to 'B.-P.' -next time we meet."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers minor looked at the spy in a spellbound -sort of way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's a wonderful disguise," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not one of my best, though," answered the man. -"I never look the same two days running. Very -likely to-morrow I shall be a smart young officer; -and then, again, I may look like a farmer, or a -clergyman, or anything. It's part of my work to -be a master of the art of disguises."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers minor began to whisper to me, and asked -me how much money I had. Then the great spy -spoke again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I might give you boys a job next Saturday -afternoon, but you'll have to be pretty smart to do it. -I'm taking a German then. I've marked him down -at Little Mudborough--you know, a mile from -Merivale--and on Saturday next, at 'The Wool -Pack' public-house, I meet him and arrest him. I -shall want a bit of help, I dare say."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers fairly trembled with excitement after -that. Then he felt in his pocket and found he'd -only got a shilling, and this he gave to the spy -without a thought; but I happened to have five shillings -by an extraordinary fluke, it being my birthday, -and Brown had changed a postal order from my -mother; so I was not nearly so keen about the spy -as Travers minor. Travers was a good deal -relieved to hear I'd got as much, and even then -apologised that we could only produce six bob -between us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The spy seemed rather disappointed, and I made -a feeble effort to keep my five shillings by saying:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Couldn't you get to the police-station? They'd -be sure to have tons of money there."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But at the mention of a police-station he showed -the utmost annoyance, combined with contempt. -He said: "What's your name?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said: "Briggs."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, Briggs," he said, "let me tell you, if -there's one thing the Secret Service hates and -despises more than another, it's a police-station; and -if there's one bigger fool on earth than another, it's -a policeman. It would very likely be death to my -whole career as a spy, if I went to a policeman and -told him who I was."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't you ever work with them, Mr. Baden-Powell?" -asked Travers; and he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Never, if I can help it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So he had the six bob, much to my regret, and told -us to be at "The Wool Pack" public-house at -Mudborough on the following Saturday afternoon. He -asked what would be the most convenient time for -us to be there, and we said half-past three, and he -said "Good!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Travers asked rather a smart question and said--</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How shall we know you?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And the spy said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I shall be disguised as a farmer, in gaiters and -the sort of clothes farmers go to market in on -Saturdays; and I shall be in the bar with other men. -And one of these men will be a very dangerous -German secret agent, who has a 'wireless' at his -house. And when we've got him, we shall go to -his house and destroy the 'wireless.' And now -you'd better be getting on, or people will think it -suspicious. And you shall have your money again -next Saturday."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So we left him, and the six shillings with him, -and I was by no means so pleased and excited about -it as Travers minor. Still, I was excited in a way, -and hoped the following Saturday would be glorious; -and Travers said it would undoubtedly be the -greatest day we had spent up to that time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We had gone two hundred yards, and were wondering -what the German would look like, and if he'd -make a fight, when we were much startled by a -man who suddenly jumped out of the hedge and -stopped us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a policeman in a very excited frame of mind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What did that bloke up the road say to you?" -he began; and Travers minor, remembering what -contempt the great spy had for policemen, was -rather haughty.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our conversation was private," he answered, -and the policeman seemed inclined to laugh.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I know what your conversation was, very well," -he answered. "Soapy William wouldn't tire himself -talking to you kids for fun. Did you give him -any money?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In this insolent way the policeman dared to talk -of Baden-Powell's brother!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"His name is not Soapy William," answered -Travers, who had turned red with anger, "and he's -got no use for policemen, anyway."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, you take your dying oath he hasn't," said -the policeman. "If he told you that, he's broke -the record and told you the truth. Did you give -him money, or only a fag?'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We lent him money for a private purpose, and -I'll thank you to let us pass," said Travers minor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the policeman wouldn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's as slippery as an eel," he said, "and I've -been waiting to cop him red-'anded for a fortnight. -So now you'd better come and overtake him, for he's -lame and can only crawl along. And when I talk -to him, you'll be surprised."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're utterly wrong," Travers minor told the -policeman. "You're quite on the wrong scent, and -if you interfere with that man, you'll very likely -ruin your own career in the Force. He's much -more powerful than you think."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the policeman said he'd chance that, and -then, in the name of the law, he made us come and -help him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a most curious experience. When we got -there, the spy had disappeared, and the policeman, -knowing that he could only go about one mile an -hour, said he must be hidden somewhere near.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And if you chaps are any good as scouts, now's -your chance to show it," he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>By this time I began to believe the policeman, for -he was a big man and very positive in his speech; -but Travers hated him, and if he'd found the spy, I -believe he would have said nothing. But I found -him, or, rather, I found his boot. He had, no -doubt, seen us stopped by the policeman, and then -hastened to evade capture. There was a -haystack in a field, and he had gone to it, and on one -side, where it was cut open, there was a lot of loose -hay, and he had concealed himself with the utmost -cunning, all but one boot. This I observed just -peeping out from a litter of loose hay, and not -feeling equal to making the capture myself, I pretended -I had not seen the boot, and went off and told the -policeman, who was hunting some distance off, and -also eating blackberries while he hunted.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was much pleased and hastened to make the -capture; and when he arrived and he saw the boot, -he said: "Hullo, Soapy, old pard! Got you this -time, my boy!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the hay was cast aside, and the great spy; -otherwise known as Soapy William, rose up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was rather a solemn sight in a way, for he took -it pretty calmly, and said he'd been wanting a -fortnight's rest for a long time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After the capture, the policeman seemed to lose -interest in Travers minor and me. In fact, he -didn't even thank us, but he gave us back our -money, and it was rather interesting to find that -Soapy William, besides our six shillings, had the -additional sum of two and sevenpence halfpenny also.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers minor didn't speak one single word, -going back to Merivale, until we were at the gates; -then he said a thing which showed how fearfully -he felt what had happened.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It makes me feel almost in despair about going -into the Church, Briggs, when there's such -wickedness as that about."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I should think you would want to go in all the more."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And afterwards, when we had changed and had -tea, and we were in school, he got calmer and -admitted I was right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But he took a gloomier view of human nature -afterwards, and often, on scouting days, he said -there was more satisfaction in helping a beetle -across a road, or making a snail safe, than there -was in trying to be useful to one's fellow-creatures.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We had to go and give evidence against Soapy -William before a Justice of the Peace two days -later. In fact, it was Sir Neville Carew, who lived -at the Manor House, and he seemed to be very -much amused at our evidence, and almost inclined -to let Soapy off. But he gave him a fortnight, and -Soapy said to us as he 'oped we'd let the great -Baden-Powell know how he was being treated; and -everybody laughed, including Brown, who had gone -to the court with us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But, after that, Dr. Dunston cooled off to the -Boy Scouts a lot; and when the terrific adventure -to Travers minor finally occurred, about three -weeks after, Travers major said it was a Nemesis -on old Dunston; and so undoubtedly it was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Though not actually in it, I heard all the -particulars--in fact, everybody did, for naturally -Dr. Dunston was the most famous person in -Merivale, and when this remarkable thing overtook him, -The </span><em class="italics">Merivale Weekly Trumpet</em><span> had a column about -it, and everybody for miles round called to see him -and say how jolly glad they were it wasn't worse.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a fierce afternoon, with the leaves flying -and the rain coming down in a squally sort of way, -and Travers minor and I went for a drill, and after -the drill we scouted a bit on rather a lonely road -where nothing was in the habit of happening. -But, as Travers truly said, the essence of scouting -is surprise, and because a road is a lonely and -uneventful sort of road, it doesn't follow something -may not happen unexpectedly upon it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No doubt the roads in the valley of the river -Aisne, in France, have been pretty lonely in their -time, but think of them last September!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So we went, and one motor passed us in two -miles; and two dogs poaching together also passed, -and in a field was a sheep which had got on its back -and couldn't get up again, being too fat to do so. -We pulled it up. In another field was a bull, and -we tried to attract it, and scouted down a hedge -within fifty yards of it, to see if it was dangerous, -and warn people if it was; and I went to within -forty yards of it, being a good twelve yards from the -hedge at the time, but it paid no attention. Then, -just at the end of the road, we came across an old -woman sitting by the roadside in a very ragged -and forlorn condition, with a basket of watercresses -and also about twelve mushrooms.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Thinking she might be lame, or otherwise in -difficulties, Travers minor went up to her and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Good evening! D'you want anything?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And she said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, a plucky lot of things, but none of your cheek."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It wasn't meant for cheek. I'm a Scout," said -Travers minor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And she said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, run along home and ask mother to let out -your knickers, else you'll bust 'em!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers turned white with indignation, but such -was his great idea of discipline, that he didn't tell -her she was a drunken old beast, which she was, -but just marched off. But he was fearfully upset, -all the same, and, instead of pouring out his rage -on the horrid old woman, he poured it out on me. -He'd been a bit queer all day, owing to a row with -Brown over a history lesson, in which Travers -minor messed up the story of Charles II; and now, -what with one thing and another, he lost his usual -self-control and got very nasty.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said scouting with another person was no -good--not with me, anyway.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What have I done?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're such a fathead--nothing ever happens -when you're about!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I told him to keep his temper and not make a -silly ass of himself. I also asked him what he -thought was going to happen. I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We all know you're always ready for anything--from -an Uhlan to a caterpillar--but it seems -to me the essence of scouting is to keep wide awake -when nothing is happening, like the fleet in the -North Sea. Any fool can do things; the thing is -always to be ready to do them, and not get your -shirt out and lose your nerve because there's -nothing to do."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This good advice fairly settled Travers minor. -He undoubtedly lost his temper, as he admitted -afterwards, and he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"When I want you to tell me my business, -Briggs, I'll let you know."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your first business is to keep your hair on, -whatever happens."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then I'll relieve you of my company, Briggs."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And, before I could answer, he had got through -the hedge and gone off over a field which ran along -a wood. I watched him in silent amazement, as -they say, and he crossed the field and entered the -wood and disappeared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This action alone showed what a proper rage he -was in, because he had gone into the Manor Woods, -which was not only going out of bounds, but also -trespassing--two things he never did. It was a -fearful loss of nerve, and I stood quite still for a -good minute after he vanished. Then my first idea -was to go and lug him back; but discretion was -always the better part of valour with me, and -always will be, owing to my character; so I left -Travers to his fate, and hoped he'd soon cool down -and come back without meeting a keeper. It was -growing dusk, too, and I went back to Merivale, -and decided not to say anything about Travers -minor, except that, while we were engaged in some -scouting operations, I had missed him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I only heard the amazing tale of his adventure -afterwards, and though everybody had the story -in some shape or form, I got the naked truth from -Travers minor himself in his own words. Next -morning, much to our surprise, it was given out -that Dr. Dunston was unwell, and Fortescue read -prayers; and during that event Travers told me all.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"When I left you," he said, "I was in a filthy -bate, and for once, instead of not wanting to -trespass and break bounds, I did want to. And I went -straight into the Manor Woods, and badly frightened -some pheasants that had gone to roost, and -was immediately soothed. They made a fearful -row, and I thought a keeper would be sure to -spring up from somewhere, and rather hoped one -would, in order to afford me an opportunity for an -escape. But nothing happened, and I decided to -walk on till I came to the drive, and then boldly -go along out of the lodge-gate. Well, I walked -through the wood to the drive just before it got -dark. I was looking out cautiously from the edge -of the wood, to see that all was clear, when I -observed a man sitting on the edge of the drive. For -a moment I thought it was that wretched Soapy -William again. He was humped up and nursing -his foot which was evidently badly wounded. -Then the man gave a sound between a sigh and a -groan and a snuffle, and I saw it was Dr. Dunston!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course, it was the moment of my life, and I -felt, in a sort of way, that my whole future career -depended upon my next action. My first instinct, -remembering that Norris and Booth were both -flogged when caught here, was a strategic retreat; -but then my duty as a Boy Scout occurred to me. -It was a fearful choice of evils, you may say; for -if I cleared out, I was disgraced for ever, and my -mind couldn't have stood it, and if I went forward, -I was also disgraced for ever, because to be flogged, -to a chap with my opinions, is about the limit. I -considered what should be done, and while I was -considering, old Dunston groaned again and said -out loud:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Tut--tut! This is indeed a tragedy!'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That decided me, because the question of -humanity came in, and looking on into the future in -rather a remarkable way, I saw at once that if I -retreated and heard next morning that old Dr. Dunston -was found dead, I should feel the pangs of remorse -for evermore, and they would ruin my life. -I also felt that, if I saved him, he was hardly likely -to flog me, because there would undoubtedly be a -great feeling against him if he did."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You might have done this," I said. "You -might have retreated, and then gone down to the -lodge and told the woman that there was an -injured man, in great agony, lying half-way up the -drive. You might have given a false name -yourself, and then, when the rescuing party started, -you might have cleared out and so remained -anonymous. It would have gone down to the credit of -the Boy Scouts, and old Dunston would have been -the first to see that the particular Boy Scout in -question preferred, for private reasons, to keep his -identification a secret."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers was much impressed by this view.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I never thought of that," he said. "Probably, -if I had, I should have done it. Anyway, I'm sorry -I swore at you and called you a fathead, Briggs. -You're not a fathead--far from it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He then continued his surprising narrative in -these words:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Anyway, I decided to rescue the Doctor, and -stepped out of ambush and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'Good evening, sir. I'm afraid you're hurt.'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He was evidently very glad to see me; but you -know his iron discipline. He kept it up even then.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'What boy are you?' he asked, and I told him -I was Travers minor from Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'And how comes it you are here?' he asked again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'I was operating in the woods on my way home, -sir, and I heard your cry of distress.'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'We will investigate your operations on another -occasion, then,' said the Doctor. 'For the moment -mine are more important. I have had a bad fall -and am in great pain. You had better run as -quickly as possible to the Manor House, ask to see -Sir Neville Carew, and tell him that I have met -with a very severe accident half-way down his drive. -Whether I have broken my leg, or put out my ankle, -it is not for me to determine. I have been drinking -tea with Sir Neville and learning his views as to -the War. Be as quick as you can. You will never -have a better opportunity to display your agility.'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then I hooked it and ran the half-mile or so to -the Manor House, sprinting all the way. I soon -gave the terrible news, and in about ten minutes -Sir Neville Carew himself, with his butler and his -footman, set off for the Doctor. And the -footman trundled a chair which ran on wheels, and -which Sir Neville Carew kindly explained to me -he uses himself when he gets an attack of gout, -which often happens, unfortunately.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He didn't ask me how I discovered the accident, -which was naturally rather a good thing for -me; and when we got back to the Doctor, he told -me to hasten on in advance and break the evil -tidings. So I cleared out. And I've heard no more -yet; but no doubt I shall soon."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That was the great narrative of Travers minor, -and after morning school Brown gave out that the -Doctor's ankle was very badly sprained, but that -things would take their course as usual, and a -bulletin be put up on the notice-board in the evening.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And it was, and it said the Doctor was better.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Travers minor heard nothing until three days -later, when the Doctor appeared on a crutch and -read prayers. Then he had Travers up and -addressed the school. And Travers saw at a glance -that Dr. Dunston was still in no condition to flog -him, even if the will was there.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It ended brilliantly for Travers, really, because -the Doctor said he had been an instrument of -Providence, and he evidently felt you ought not to flog -an instrument of Providence, whatever he's been -doing. He reproved Travers minor pretty stiffly, -all the same, and said that when he considered -what a friend Sir Neville Carew was to the school, -and how much he overlooked, and so on, it was -infamous that any boy should even glance into his -pheasant preserves, much less actually go into -them. And Travers minor was finally ordered to -spend a half-holiday in visiting Sir Neville Carew -and humbly apologizing to him for his conduct. -Which he did so, and Sir Neville Carew, on hearing -from Travers that he would never do it again on -any pretext whatever, was frightfully sporting and -forgave him freely, and talked about the War, and -reminded him about Sir Baden-Powell's brother, -and ended by taking Travers minor into a glass-house -full of luscious peaches and giving him two.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Travers kept one for me, because, he said, -if it hadn't been for getting into a wax with me, -he would never have trespassed and never have -had the adventure at all.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said it wasn't so much me as that beast of -an old woman who told him his knickers were too tight.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"In strict honesty," I said, "she ought to have -this peach."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then I ate it, and never want to eat a better. -In fact, I kept the stone to plant when I went home.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-hutchings-testimonial"><span class="large">THE HUTCHINGS TESTIMONIAL</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Naturally, all Merivale was deeply interested in -the adventures of Mr. Hutchings at the Front of -the War. Of the three masters who had instantly -volunteered, only Hutchings had actually gone to -the Front, being a skilled territorial and holding a -commission in the Devons; but the other two, -Manwaring and Meadows, had to be content with -Kitchener's Army, because they were ignorant of the -subject of warfare and had to begin at the -beginning. Of course, Fortescue would have proudly -gone, as his splendid poems on the war and his -general valiant feelings showed, and we were very sorry -we had misunderstood him; but his aorta being a -bit off quite prevented him doing anything except -write splendid poems urging everybody else to go; -and no doubt many did go because of them. As -for Brown, he was five feet nothing, or thereabouts, -and so he wasn't wanted, and I believe in secret he -thanked God for it, though in public he said it was -the bitterest blow of his life. And Rice, who -doesn't fear Brown, asked him why he didn't join -a Ghurka regiment; and Brown said nothing would -have given him greater pleasure, only, unfortunately, -owing to caste, and religion, and one thing -and another, it was out of the question. He -appeared to bar the bantam regiment also, probably -not so much as the bantam regiment would have -barred him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So you may say Merivale only had one man at -the positive Front, though Jenny Dunston, the -Doctor's youngest daughter but two, was engaged -to a man in the Welsh Fusiliers, and he was there, -and Abbott's father was also there. They were, -of course, nothing to us, though no doubt a good -deal to Jenny Dunston and Abbott's mother; but -all our excitement centred on Hutchings, who was -a lieutenant, and was often believed to do the work -of a captain when actually under fire. He -occasionally sent a postcard to Fortescue, saying that -all was well, and I believe Fortescue also got a -letter with pieces censored out of it; but he did not -show it to us, though he told Travers minor and -Briggs that it was anxious work. This was when -the British Expedition was falling back, much to -its regret. But soon the time came when they got -going forward again, and then Fortescue bucked up -and, I believe, wrote his best poetry. In fact, -Fortescue really was a sort of weather-glass of the -War, if you understand me, and chaps in his class -said that, after a reverse, you could do simply -anything with him, and he didn't seem to have the -slightest interest in work, and didn't care if you -were right or wrong. And in a way it was equally -all right for his class after a victory, for then he -was so hopeful and pleased that he never came -down on anybody. So we hadn't got to read the -papers, because, after seeing Fortescue in the -morning, we always knew the general hang of the War. -In fact, Mitchell, who was a cunning student of -other people's characters, though his own was -beastly, said that you had only got to look at -Fortescue's neck to know how it was going at the -Front. If his head was hanging over his chest, it -was certain the Allies had had a nasty knock; and -if it was just about normal, you knew nothing had -happened to matter either way; and if it was -thrown up and straight, and Fortescue's eyes were -bright behind his glasses, then you knew that we -had scored, or else the French or Russians had. -Then a little child could lead Fortescue, as Mitchell -said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And at last came Hill No. 60, and the fearfully -sad news that Hutchings was dead or wounded; -and many of us would have given a week's -pocket-money to know which. Then came the good news -under the Roll of Honour that he was only -wounded, and after that, many of us would have -given a week's pocket-money to know where. -Presently we heard from Dr. Dunston that he was in -Paris; and then we heard that he was coming to -England and going to the private house of some -very sporting rich people who had turned their -mansion into a hospital for wounded officers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Fortescue heard from Hutchings, and most -kindly gave us the information that he had been -wounded in two places--the shoulder and the calf -of the right leg. And we were thankful that it was -no worse.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We were allowed to write to Hutchings, and -Barrington, who was head boy now that Travers -major had left, composed a letter, and everybody -signed it. And I hope he liked it. But then came -the great idea of a presentation to Hutchings. I -am Blades, and it was my idea, though afterwards -Sutherland and Thwaites claimed it. But I -promise you it was mine, and we had a meeting in -chapel one night before prep., at which Barrington -proposed and I seconded the great thought that -we should make a collection of money for a -memorial to Hutchings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Barrington said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We are met together for a good object, namely, -to collect money for a valuable memorial of his -bravery in the War for Mr. Hutchings, or I should -say Lieutenant Hutchings. Everybody here--even -his own class--likes him; and the new boys, -who do not know him, would equally like him if -they did. No doubt there will be a very fine medal -of Hill No. 60 struck and presented to our troops -who were in that terrific battle, and no doubt -Lieutenant Hutchings will get it; but it often takes -years and years before war medals are struck and -presented to the heroes of a battle, and I have -heard that some of the medals from the Battle of -Waterloo are still hanging fire; and many ought to -have had them who died a natural death long -before they were sent out. So I propose that we make -a collection for Mr. Hutchings and present him with -a valuable object before he goes back to the War, -because, if we leave it till afterwards, it may be too late."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I beg to second the excellent speech we have -just heard, and if anybody is of a different opinion, -let him say so."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was carried.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Barrington said we must have a committee -of management, with a secretary and treasurer, -and it was done.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The committee consisted of me and Barrington -and Sutherland and Thwaites; and Rice, who would -not have been on such an important thing in the -ordinary way, was proposed, because he was -enormously popular and would be able to persuade -many to subscribe who would not otherwise do so -without great pressure. That only left the -treasurer, and well knowing Mitchell's financial skill -and mastery of arithmetic in general, I proposed -him. Some chaps, who owed Mitchell money, were -rather shy of voting for him; but finally they -decided it was better to have him for a friend than -an enemy, and so they voted in his favour. I -myself owed Mitchell three shillings, for which I was -paying twopence a week, which was a fair interest. -And personally I always found him honourable, -though firm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyway, he was made treasurer, and he said the -subscription lists must be posted in a public place, -because in these cases people liked to see their -names where other people would also see them, and -that publicity was the backbone of philanthropy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We left it with him, as he thoroughly understood -that branch of the testimonial, and meanwhile from -time to time the committee met to consider what -ought to be bought. And we differed a good deal -on the subject. I thought, as Hutchings would -certainly go back to the War when he was well, we -ought to buy him a complete outfit of comforts, -including blankets, tobacco--of which he was very -fond--a Thermos flask, a wool helmet, day socks, -night socks, a mouth-guard to keep out German -stinks, and, in fact, everything to help him through -the misery of warfare, including a filter for -drinking water. And Sutherland was rather inclined -to agree with me, but the others were not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Thwaites said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear Blades, you talk as if you were his -grandmother. No doubt he's got women relations -to look after paltry things like that; but a -testimonial rises to a much higher plane, in my -opinion. It ought to be something that will last for -ever and not wear out and be forgotten."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Rice said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Get the man a revolver."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Barrington said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He's got one."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Rice said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course he has. And if we get him another, -then he'd have two, and that means six less -Germans some day, very likely."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But Barrington didn't approve.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We want a testimonial that has nothing to do -with actual battle," he said. "The War won't last -for ever, and we ought to buy something useful, -and also ornamental, that Hutchings will be able -to employ in everyday life when all is over. We -want something that will catch his eye a hundred -times a day and pleasantly remind him and his -family of his heroic past--and us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"An heirloom, in fact," said Thwaites.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But I argued that practical comforts at the -critical moment would be far better than an -heirloom for future use, because if he didn't have the -mouth-guard and filter and so on, he might die; -and where would the heirloom come in then?</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's the good of knowing you've got a silver -ink-pot, or a tea-kettle, or a cellaret full of whisky -at home, when you're perishing for a wholesome -drink on the field?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Barrington said that was petty, and so did -Thwaites. They seemed to think that the remembrance -of our testimonial safe at home would carry -Hutchings safely through all the horrors of the -campaign.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It turned out that I had rather touched up -Barrington, for he had actually been thinking about -a silver ink-pot, and Thwaites had been thinking -about a cellaret with three bottles of various -spirits; but I told them flatly I didn't agree with -them. Then they asked Sutherland his idea, and -he said it wasn't so much what we should like as -what Hutchings would.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Perhaps a very fine meerschaum pipe, mounted -in silver with an inscription, would do, because -there you have a creature comfort of the first class -and also a testimonial which would not wear out. -And a pipe would be far more to Hutchings, either -in war or peace, than an ink-pot, or, in fact, -anything of that sort."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Rice said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why not get the man a sword? He could use -it in the War, and, if all went well, he could hang -it up in his home afterwards; and if there was blood -on it, then he'd have great additional pleasure every -time he looked at it. And so would his family."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Barrington rather liked the sword; but he said -classy swords were frightfully expensive, and he -doubted whether we should run to it. Then the -committee broke up, to meet again when we found -how the subscriptions came in.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Unfortunately, this department of the -testimonial was very slow. Mitchell, with great -trouble, wrote out a list of the whole school, and -was allowed to put it on the notice-board. Class -by class he wrote it--one hundred and thirty-two -boys he wrote--with money columns and a line -leading from each boy to the money column. On -it, in large ornamental letters, Nicholson, who was -a dab at printing, put the words--</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>TESTIMONIAL FUND TO LIEUTENANT -<br />HUTCHINGS, FROM MERIVALE SCHOOL.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Then we all waited breathlessly for the result in -the money column. There was some delay, because -everybody, of course, wrote home on the subject and -mentioned it in the next Sunday's letters; and we -pointed out to the kids that a good and useful thing -to write home about, and something at least to fill -two pages, would be the Hutchings testimonial. -Whether they made the appeal or not, of course, -none could tell, but if they did, the response was -fearfully feeble. When questioned, they said that -their people at home had done such a frightful lot -for the War already that further cash for Hutchings -was out of the question; while other parents -wrote back, not that they had done much for the -War, but that the War had done much for them in -a very unfavourable manner. The result was -apparently the same in each case, and the Lower -School, all except Peterson in the Third, responded -very badly to the appeal. He produced ten bob, -much to our amazement, and there was one other -ten bob, secured by Abbott through his mother, -because his father was at the Front and still -unwounded. As for the Sixth, who headed the list, -we all gave three bob to a man, except Barrington, -who gave five. The Fifth came out at about one -and tenpence a head, which was fair, without being -particularly dazzling; but the Fourth fell away a -good deal. And after that there was a hideous -array of blanks.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mitchell said it was probably owing to the utter -failure of the dividends of the parents of the Lower -School; and as we could not apparently make -bricks without straw, we considered how to tackle -the Lower School. There is no doubt the failure -was genuine, for many of them had even their -pocket-money reduced; so Pegram--who had only -subscribed a shilling himself, by the way--proposed -that the kids should be invited to give property -instead of cash.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If they all yield up something they value, we -can collect the goods in a mass and have a sale, and -the proceeds of the sale can go to the Hutchings Testimonial."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The committee approved of this, excepting -Thwaites, who thought nothing of it; but when -asked to give his objections, he merely said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Wait and see."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Which we did do, and found that Thwaites was -wonderfully right, and had looked on ahead much -farther than us. The kids agreed willingly to -subscribe in goods, and were only too delighted to do -so; but when it came to the point, the goods of the -kids proved utterly worthless in the open market. -It was a revelation, in a sort of a way, to see -the things the kids valued and honestly thought -were worth money. In fact, Preston said it was -pathetic, and Pegram said we had a good -foundation for a rubbish heap, but nothing more. They -brought string and screws and nails, also the glass -marbles from a certain make of ginger-beer bottle, -and knives fearfully out of order, and corkscrews, -and padlocks without keys, and a few threadbare -story books, and three copies of </span><em class="italics">Hymns Ancient -and Modern</em><span>, and two old horseshoes, and catapults -and bullets and shot and charms. They also -brought three steel watch-chains and one leather -one; and Percy Minimus offered a watch-chain -made from his mother's hair, so he said; but -nobody bid for it, naturally, for who on earth wants -a watch-chain made out of somebody else's mother's -hair? There was also a bottle imp, fourteen -indiarubber balls and seven golf balls--all worn -out--two kids' cricket bats unspliced, three pairs of tan -gloves--new but small--and one pair of wool -ones, eight neckties, not new, and a silk handkerchief, -given to Tudor in case he had a cold in his -head, but not required up till now, and therefore -new. Among other items was half a packet of -Sanatogen, also from Tudor, a box of chocolate -cigarettes, several conjuring tricks, mostly out of -order, and three guinea-pigs alive. Of other live -things were included a white rat, with pink eyes -and a hairless, pinkish tail, and a dormouse, which -Mathers said was hibernating, though Mitchell -thought was dead. It proved alive, on applying -warmth, and fetched fivepence. Lastly, there was -a chrysalis, into which a remarkable caterpillar, -found by Hastings on the twenty-first of last -September, had turned; and as nobody knew the species -of moth to be presently produced by it, Hastings -thought it worth money, and put a reserve of -two-pence on it. But the chrysalis was long overdue, -and so it did not reach the reserve; and so -Hastings, who was still hopeful, bought it back for that -sum. As a matter of fact, it never turned into -anything, and was found to be quite hollow when examined.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was a good deal of other trash hardly -worth mentioning, and many lots at the sale did -not produce any offer at all, let alone competition; -and the owners of these lots thankfully got them -back again, though, of course, sorry that they -commanded no market value. And some kids were -much surprised to find their rubbish had no value -at all in the eyes of the larger world, so to speak.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>One way and another, the sale realized eight -shillings and fourpence, chiefly owing to the -generosity of Rice, who gave the absurd sum of two -shillings for the guinea-pigs, which were not even the -chrysanthemum variety of pig, with wild and -tousled hair, but just sleek, ordinary pigs, and -known to be far past their prime. One, in fact, had -a bald head.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The Hutchings Testimonial now stood at four -pounds fourteen shillings and sevenpence; and -thanks to a windfall in the shape of five shillings -from Cornwallis, who had a birthday and got a -pound for it, we were now practically up to a fiver. -In fact, I myself flung in the fivepence. But we -were far from satisfied, for, as Mitchell with his -mathematical mind pointed out, five pounds spread -over one hundred and thirty-two boys amounts to -the rather contemptible smallness of ninepence and -one-eleventh a boy. We raised the question of -inviting the masters to come in, from Dr. Dunston -downwards, and some fondly thought that -Dunston would very likely give another five pounds to -double ours; but Barrington said he had reason to -fear this would not happen, because, from rumours -dropped between Brown and Fortescue, which he -had accidentally overheard while working in -Fortescue's study, he believed that a good many parents -were putting the moratorium in force on the -Doctor; and Fortescue seemed to think that it was -quite within human possibility that the Doctor -might put the moratorium in force on him and -Brown, with very grave results to their financial -position. But Brown said the moratorium was -over long ago, and could not be revived against them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then two things of considerable importance -happened on the subject of the Hutchings Testimonial. -Firstly, we heard that Hutchings might come to -Merivale for a week or so before returning to his -regiment; and, secondly, Mitchell made a very -interesting offer concerning the five pounds now -deposited with him. He said, very truly, that money -breeds money in skilled hands, and that no -financier worthy of the name ever lets his talent lie hid -in a napkin, but far from it. He said to the committee:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's like this. We are now a fortnight from -the holidays, and the holidays will be five weeks -long. Five and two are seven, therefore it follows -that for seven weeks this five pounds is doing -nothing whatever. This would be untrue to the science -of political economy and banking. Therefore I -propose that I send the five pounds to my father -and ask him to invest it in his business. My father, -John Septimus Mitchell, Esquire, is a member of -the Stock Exchange of London, and would, no -doubt, very easily turn our five pounds into six, or -even seven, in the course of seven weeks. This -would greatly increase the power of the committee -and the extent of the testimonial for Hutchings. -And then, at the beginning of next term, we shall -be able to buy and present the testimonial in person -to Hutchings."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, knowing Mitchell, it was rather a delicate -question in a way; but what he said was sound -finance, as Barrington admitted, and Barrington -himself felt thoroughly inclined to trust Mitchell. -We went into a sort of private committee, after -Mitchell had gone, and though I and Thwaites -voted against, the majority was in favour of agreeing -to the suggestion of Mitchell. Therefore it was done.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Mitchell sent the five pounds to his father, -and gave us the cheering news that his father had -received it and agreed to invest it at interest; and -Mitchell handed Barrington a document from his -father to show all was being rightly managed on -the Stock Exchange about it. And Barrington -kept the document carefully, as it was legal, and -had a penny stamp on it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We next returned to the question of the testimonial -itself, and still could not agree about it, -though we were now able to argue on the basis of -seven pounds instead of five. We had agreed about -a sword, but unfortunately found, on inquiries, that -a sword worthy to be called a presentation sword -would cost about fifty pounds, and ought to have -rubies and emeralds in the handle, which was, of -course, out of the question. Many things were -suggested, but none, somehow, met the case, and we -fairly kicked ourselves to think that a committee -like us were such a lot of fatheads. And, of course, -dozens of the chaps asked us about it, and were -rather surprised we couldn't think of the right -thing. Proposals were showered in, but all to no -purpose, and the end of the term actually arrived -without anything being settled. It was then agreed -that we should all think hard about the form of the -testimonial during the holidays, and Barrington -hoped that events at the Front might develop and -help us to hit on a happy idea. And we all hoped -so, too. As for Mitchell, he said that he thought -very likely Hutchings would rather have the money -than anything else; but that was, of course, what -Mitchell himself would rather have had, though far -below the mind of a patriotic man like Hutchings. -And Thwaites said rather scornfully to Mitchell -that no doubt he would rather have money than an -heirloom to hand down to the future generations; -and Mitchell said that he undoubtedly would, -because money was out and away the best possible -sort of heirloom, and everybody knew it at heart, -even though they might pretend different.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the holidays took place, and the prizes -were decidedly skimpy, which was a disappointment -to those who got them and a comfort to those -who didn't. Nothing of any consequence occurred -to me during the holidays, and I had no idea for -Hutchings worth mentioning; and when we all -returned, we found the committee as a whole were in -the same position as before. There were many -suggestions made, certainly, but none that pleased -the entire committee. Then a dreadful thing upset -the situation, and for three days the darkness of -returning to school was made darker still by a -sensational rumour. Mitchell did not turn up on the -appointed afternoon, and it was whispered that he -wasn't coming back at all! Presently the whisper -grew into a regular roar, so to speak, and Brown -announced the tremendous news that Mitchell had -left altogether, and might be going straight into his -father's business of being a stockbroker on the -Stock Exchange, London.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>To add to this, Hutchings was now staying at -Merivale with the Doctor for a few days before -going back to the War, and he had already heard -about the testimonial, and was undoubtedly in a -great state of excitement about it. His wounds -had taken an unexpectedly long time to heal, but -he was now quite ready for renewed activity at the -Front, and was, in fact, going back on the following -Friday with other healed, heroic men.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Our position had now become extremely grave, -and we held a committee meeting instantly, and -Thwaites and I were in the position of the late -Lord Roberts when he clamoured for an army and -couldn't get one, because we had strongly advised -that Mitchell should not be allowed to send the -money to his father; but the committee had -outvoted us. I was dignified myself, and did not -remind the committee of my views; but Thwaites did, -and there was a good deal of bitterness in the -remarks of the committee, till Barrington reminded -us of the legal document which we had preserved -with such care. He said that he was not in the -least alarmed, and felt sure that, whatever Mitchell -might be, the father of Mitchell was a man of -honour, and would not risk his position on the -Stock Exchange of London for a paltry seven pounds.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So we wrote to the address on the legal document, -stating the case and saying politely, but firmly, -that we expected the seven pounds by return of -post. We added that we trusted Mitchell's father -implicitly, and that as the matter was very urgent, -owing to Mr. Hutchings being just off again to the -Front, we hoped that he would be so good as to give -it his personal attention the moment he received -our letter. This we all signed, to show how many -people were interested and that it was a serious affair.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For three very trying days we heard nothing, -and the school was in a fair uproar, and the -committee got itself very much disliked. Then, when -we had decided to put the matter into the hands of -Dr. Dunston, Mitchell himself wrote to me and sent -a cheque signed by his father. But it was not for -seven pounds, I regret to say. In fact, it was not -even for six. His wretched father had merely sent -us back our five pounds with sevenpence added! -Mitchell explained that we had received four per -cent. for our money, and that he was sorry nothing -better could be done for the moment, owing to the -Stock Exchange being very much upset by the War. -And he asked us for a stamped receipt for the -money, which we sent him in very satirical -language, and said that no doubt his father had -made the two pounds himself. And we promised -faithfully that when we grew up and had dealings -on the Stock Exchange of London, they wouldn't -be with Mitchell and his father. Barrington, by -the way, wouldn't sign this piece of satire, which -was invented by Tracey. All the same, we sent it, -but Mitchell never answered it, and soon -afterwards he turned up again, having merely been ill -and not going to leave at all. Hutchings was going -on the following Friday and something had to be -done at once. The committee, which was now -fairly sick of the sight of one another, met -again--for the last time, I'm glad to say--and the -question being acute, as Thwaites said, we proposed and -seconded that a master, or two, should be invited -to help us with ideas. Then I thought of -something still better, and suggested that we should -simply and straightforwardly go to Hutchings -himself and ask him what he most wanted in the -nature of an heirloom that could be got for five -pounds and sevenpence; and everybody gladly -seconded this idea, though, of course, it was not so -impressive as making a presentation with a few -dignified words and the whole school present, as we -had meant to do.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>However, we went to Hutchings, and he was -much pleased, and said it was ripping of us all, and -promised, the morning before he went, to try and -get us a half-holiday as a memory of him. This -was good, but still better was the great ease with -which Hutchings decided what he wanted. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll tell you what I'll do. On my way through -London to Dover I'll buy a pair of field-glasses, and -I'll have inscribed somewhere on them--</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>'To LIEUTENANT T. HUTCHINGS, -<br /> FROM MERIVALE SCHOOL.'"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>We agreed gladly to this, and so did everybody, -and several chaps, who had suggested this very -thing and been turned down, reminded us afterwards.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>At any rate, Hutchings got them, and wrote to -Barrington, from a direction he couldn't name, to -say he'd got them, inscribed and all, and that they -were splendid glasses, and that we might picture -him often using them on the field, to mark the -enemy's position or sweep the sky for aeroplanes; -which was very agreeable to us to hear, and showed -all our trouble was by no means in vain. And, in -return, we wrote to Hutchings and told him we were -very pleased to know about the glasses, and were -glad to inform him that we had got the half-holiday, -and that though it unfortunately poured without -ceasing all the time, it was quite successful in -every other way.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-fight"><span class="large">THE FIGHT</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>My name is Rice, and there was only one thing I -hated about the War, and even that I had to stop -hating, because of England. My first feeling was -the War had come too soon, and that if it had only -been four years later, I should have been there. -But, saying this to Tracey, he pointed out that, -from England's point of view, it was lucky the -War had come when it did, because every year was -making the Germans stronger, while we went gaily -down the hill reducing our Navy and our Army too. -So it was a jolly good thing the Great War hadn't -waited till I went into the Army. In fact, in four -years, by all accounts, there mightn't have been any -army to go into.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No doubt you'd have been a host in yourself, -Rice," said Tracey in his comical way, meaning a -joke, which I easily saw; "but, all the same, as we -had to fight Germany, the sooner we did it the -better."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I gave up hating the sad fact of not being -there, though it was extra rough on me, because -many people seemed to think it was going to be the -last war on earth; and if that was so, my -occupation was gone, and I might just as well not have -been born, except for the simple and rather tame -pleasure of being alive. But what's the good of -that, if you're not going to do anything worth -mentioning from the cradle to the grave, as the saying is?</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As far as mere fighting went, I did all I could at -Merivale, and, after seven regular fights, got to be -cock of the Lower School. And in ordinary times I -should have been cock of the whole school; but, -curiously enough, there was one chap of very -unusual fighting ability at Merivale when I was there, -and he was rightly regarded as cock of the school -in the science of fighting.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It happened, also, that he and I were tremendous -chums--such chums as are seldom seen--for we -had similar ideas on all subjects and never differed -even on the subject of the boxing art. In fact we -only differed because I was going into the Navy and -Sutherland minor was going into the Law. He had -no taste for soldiering, like his brother, Sutherland -major; though great genius for boxing, in which -he took after his father, and as his father was in -the law and wanted him to go into it, he resolved -to obey.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But to me the law seemed a feeble profession, -and I often tried to dissuade him from it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Sutherland minor was sixteen and a half and -tall; I was fifteen, and three inches shorter. He -had better biceps than me and a longer reach, and -he said I had a better punch than him, but less science.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After my third fight, he always let me second him -in his fights; but he only had two before this -particularly interesting fight I am going to mention; -and one was against Blades, which he won after six -rounds by excellent science and far superior -footwork to Blades; and the other was against a chap -called Pengelly, who only came for one term and -gave himself frightful airs because he was a -Cornishman. But I shouldn't think Cornwall had -much use for him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>One day Sutherland said that the Cornish might -be very good at catching pilchards and digging up -tin, but they didn't seem much good at enlisting in -Kitchener's Army. And Pengelly said there was a -reason for that, though he refused to tell us what -the reason was. Then he got into a fearful bate, -and, little knowing the truth about Sutherland, -challenged him to fight; which, of course -Sutherland instantly agreed to. Pengelly was very big -and strong, and if he had been able to hit Sutherland -as often as he wanted to, the fight might have -been interesting, but, having no science whatever, -he was useless against Sutherland. By sheer -strength he stuck to it for eight rounds, during -which time he got a fair doing and Sutherland was -hardly marked; but then, though by no means all -in, Pengelly realized that he wasn't going to get a -knuckle on Sutherland and so he gave up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He wasn't a bad chap really, though rather -foolish about Cornwall, and he even said to me -deliberately that a Cornishman was as good as an -Irishman, which showed, if anything, that he was weak -in his head. And after his fight with Sutherland, -we asked him again what the reason was that -Cornwall was so slack at enlisting, and he said that the -truth was that half of all Cornish chaps go into the -Navy, which, owing to Cornwall being almost -surrounded by sea, they prefer. But whether that's -true, or only a piffling excuse, I don't know.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyway, when it came to counting up the most -famous men Cornwall ever produced, he could only -mention Sir Humphry Davy, who invented the -safety-lamp for miners, which was undoubtedly all -right in its way, and "Q," who wrote </span><em class="italics">Dead Man's -Rock</em><span>, and was knighted for doing so; and nobody -ever deserved it more. But that was all, whereas, -when it came to Ireland, of course, I could count up -thousands of the greatest heroes in creation, -including Mr. Redmond, who has just got Home Rule for -us after fearful obstacles.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But I never fought Pengelly; there wasn't time. -For he only had one term at Merivale, and then, I -believe, went to Canada suddenly, to an uncle there.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After that began the curious affair between me -and Sutherland. But as it was remarkable in -every way and will never be forgotten by our -families, I may mention them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In the first place, Sutherland's mother was a -chronical invalid. I said it must be very difficult -to love a person who lived in bed and could never be -any use out of doors, or ride to hounds, or -anything; and he said that it made no difference and -that he was accustomed to it, because his mother -had always been an utter crock ever since he knew -her, and even at her best, when she was feeling -unusually fit, she only changed her bed for a sofa in -his father's study. Apparently she was just as -keen about him as my mother was about me, and -though she didn't much care to hear about his -fights, she tried to understand the beauty of them -like his father did. But naturally this father was -more to Sutherland than the mother could be; -because his father had been amateur middle-weight -champion of England in his time, and held the cup -for three years, and had been runner-up twice also. -He was, therefore, a very great boxer and fighter, -and Sutherland had been taught by his father, -which accounted for his genius at it and his style, -which was very finished. He would undoubtedly -have been a "pro" if he had been in another walk -of life; but as it was, he fully intended to do as well -as his father had done in the amateur boxing -world, though, as he was growing very rapidly -and was also a great eater, it looked as if he would -end by being a heavy-weight, which his father never -was; though, as Sutherland told me, his father had -beaten a few good heavy-weights in his time, though -he never touched twelve stone in his boxing days.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Sutherland major, by the way, had just left -Merivale when the War broke out, and he instantly went -into the O.T.C.'s and soon became a second -lieutenant and went to France.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This father of Sutherland was a lawyer, and -Sutherland regretted to say that the War had done -him harm as, owing to it apparently, people were -not going to law nearly so much as usual. Still he -thought, after the War, he might find a great -improvement. He was a lawyer of the sort called a -barrister, and wore a wig and gown and pleaded for -criminals before the judges and juries on the -Western Circuit, often getting them off when it -looked jolly bad for them--so Sutherland said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But my father was quite different, being a -gentleman at large, and funnily enough, owing to the -War, he made the first money he had ever made in -his life, for he had a great knowledge of horses, and -the War Office, hearing of this, let him go out and -choose and buy horses for it, which he willingly did, -and for his trouble he got the enormous sum of a -guinea a day!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>My mother sent me a sovereign of my father's -earnings and told me to keep it and bore a hole in -it and put it on my watch-chain, and be proud of -it; but this I did not do, because a sovereign is a -sovereign, and I simply couldn't see a good -sovereign wasting its time, so to speak, on my watch-chain.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then one day, walking as usual with Sutherland -on the way to a footer match in which we were both -playing, both being in the first "soccer" team, him -at right back and me at right half, we got talking -about a fight I rather hoped to have with Briggs. -And Sutherland was trying to think of a </span><em class="italics">casus belli</em><span> -which, in English, means a reason for the fight. -But, knowing Briggs, he said no </span><em class="italics">casus belli</em><span> would -ever arise; and I said in that case, if Briggs were -willing, we might fight for a purse, if anybody -would subscribe one.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And then Sutherland reminded me that I should -become a "pro," and Briggs also, if that were done.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Briggs wouldn't fight just for the sake of -fighting, and as you and he are very good friends, and -there's no 'needle' in it, it looks difficult."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then we talked, and then he happened to say--about -fighting in general and weights and so on:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You might just as well think of licking him"--speaking -of Hutchings, who had gone to the Front--"as -you might of licking me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course," I said; "it would be absurd."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That was the whole conversation, and I forgot it -while the match was on, and, in fact, it didn't come -back to me till I went to bed that night; and then it -fairly kept me awake, and I was fearfully sorry I'd -said it would be absurd for me to think of licking -Sutherland. In fact I got sorrier and sorrier, and -then I wondered why the dickens Sutherland -thought it was such a mad idea my licking him; -and before I went to sleep I felt, in a way, rather -sick with Sutherland for having such a poor opinion of me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In the morning the feeling was still there, and -he noticed I was a bit off and asked me if I was all -right, and I said I was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But it weighed fearfully, and I fairly got to hate -myself in about two days for having said the idea -of my licking Sutherland was absurd. In fact, the -more I thought about it, the less absurd it seemed. -I knew he was heavier and had a longer reach and -was older and more scientific; but he himself had -said that I had a fine punch; and if you've got that, -you never know what may happen; and many an -unlikely thing has come off in the ring owing to -unexpected smacks landing at the right moment in the -right place.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After a good deal of hard thinking and going -down about four in my form, which landed me at -the bottom, I felt I must speak to Sutherland, or I -should burst.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So when he asked me, for the thousandth time, -what was the matter and if anybody had scored off -me, or anything, I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Look here, Sutherland, you remember that -while going to the footer match last week, you said -I might just as well think of licking you as of -licking Hutchings?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, I remember."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I told you it was absurd, didn't I?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You did--naturally," answered Sutherland.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well," I said, "I was wrong--it wasn't in the -least natural for me to say that, and there's nothing -absurd about it. It's been on my mind ever since. -And now I see it wasn't absurd."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What wasn't absurd?" asked Sutherland. -"The idea of your licking Hutchings, or the idea of -your licking me?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The idea of my licking you," I said firmly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For a moment Sutherland was quite silent.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"D'you really think so?" he asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes," I said. "After considering it quietly--in -bed and in chapel and at many other times--I -can't see anything absurd about it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"In fact, Rice, you think you might have a -chance against me?" suggested Sutherland.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't say that it would be much of a chance," -I told him. "Probably you'd do me, because you're -a lot cleverer and more scientific; but when I said -'absurd,' I went too far."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Sutherland considered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're quite right," he admitted. "You might -get over a lucky one. It's very unlikely, but you -might. Therefore there would be nothing absurd -about our fighting, and I oughtn't to have suggested -there was. Somehow I never regarded us as in the -same street. But, of course, we may be."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We're not," I said. "As for boxing on points -we're not. But fighting is different and--there -you are."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He nodded.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If you feel like that," he said, "of course----"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I never did feel like that; in fact I never -thought of it before," I told Sutherland; "but -now----"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He didn't say anything, so I went on:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's a matter of honour in a way," I said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"From your point of view it is, no doubt," he -answered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Isn't it from yours?" I asked him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not exactly," he explained. "We're very good -friends--in fact more than just common or garden -friends--and I never thought of fighting you, -regarding you as cock of the Lower School and not -supposing the question would ever arise between us, -as I shall probably leave Merivale before you get -into the Upper School--if ever you do. Still, as -you feel your honour makes you want to fight me, -you must, of course."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's no </span><em class="italics">casus belli</em><span> otherwise," I said, and -Sutherland answered that honour was the best -</span><em class="italics">casus belli</em><span> possible. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course, if you honestly feel that I have -wounded your honour, Rice, we must fight."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You haven't wounded it exactly. In fact I -don't know what the dickens you have done. But -you've done something, and though you're my chum -and I hope you always will be for evermore, yet I -don't believe I shall get over this feeling, or, in -fact, be any more good in the world till we've -fought."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As a matter of fact," said Sutherland, "you've -wounded your honour yourself, by thoughtlessly -agreeing to my suggestion that you couldn't lick -me. Still, whatever has done it, the result is the -same, I'm afraid."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm afraid it is," I said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I suppose no two chaps ever arranged a thing of -this sort in a more regretful frame of mind, for we -had always been peculiarly friendly, and the idea -of ever fighting had never occurred to us; but it -was just that fatal remark of Sutherland, showing -his point of view, and showing me, with only too -dreadful clearness, his opinion of me as compared -with him. And the queerest thing of all was that -I quite agreed with him really, only there was -a feeling in me I couldn't possibly let it go at that; -and, of course, there was also a secret hope that, -after all, Sutherland and I might both be mistaken -about his being such a mighty lot better than I was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So we agreed to fight on the following Saturday -afternoon, as there was only a second eleven match -on our own ground, and we should have leisure to -go into the wood close by, where these affairs were -settled.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Needless to say, the world at large was fearfully -surprised when it heard we were going to fight. -We still pottered about together in our usual -friendly way, and when we were asked, as of course -we were, what we were fighting for, it was more -than I could do to explain, or Sutherland either. -Travers major understood the truth of the situation, -and I think Thwaites did, and possibly Preston; -but to have tried to explain to anybody else the -frightfully peculiar situation would have been -impossible, for they hadn't the minds to understand -it. So we just said in a general sort of way, we -were still chums, but felt such a tremendous interest -in the question of which was the greatest fighter, -that we were going to find out in the most friendly -spirit possible.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, being easily the two best in the school, -the sensation was huge, but the general opinion -seemed to be that I must be mad to think of beating -Sutherland, and I never argued much about it, and -said very likely I was, but that I hated uncertainty -in a thing like that.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Pegram said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It will be your Sedan, Rice," meaning that I -should be treated by Sutherland like the French -were treated by the Germans on that occasion.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But I did not think so. I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Most likely I shall be licked and badly licked, -which is nothing against such a man as Sutherland; -but it won't be my Sedan by long chalks, because -we've agreed whichever wins it will make no -difference."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Certainly there will be no indemnity," said -Pegram, "as you're both far too hard up for any -such thing; but you needn't think the beaten one -will ever feel the same again to the winner; because -human nature is all against it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your human nature may be," I said to Pegram, -who was a foxy chap, great at strategy, but -otherwise mean. "Your human nature may be like -that, but mine and Sutherland's is not."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>All the same, I had Pegram to second me, because -he is full of cunning, and I also had Travers -minor; and Sutherland had Abbott, who is a very -fine second, and would be a fine boxer, too, but for -a short leg on one side.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Williams was his other second, and Travers -major consented to be referee.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Fighting was not allowed at Merivale, but -Travers, though head of the school, and never -known to break any other rule, supported fair -fighting, because he believed it was good; and he also -believed that the Doctor did not really much dislike -it, though no doubt to parents he had to say he did. -Brown, however, hated fighting, and as he was -master in charge on the appointed day, we had to -exercise precautions and keep the fight as quiet as -possible.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Though favourable to fighting as a rule, Travers -never cared much about my fight with Sutherland -and even tried to make us change our minds. But -he had no reasons that we thought good enough, or -rather, that I thought good enough; because of -course I was the challenger and Sutherland had no -choice but to agree.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It turned out that Sutherland was rather glad -of the fight, because it distracted his mind from -sadness. A fortnight before, he had been home -from Saturday till Monday, to see his mother, who -was worse, because his brother Tom, or Sutherland -major, was in the trenches; and his father had been -very gloomy about it, so the fight served to cheer -him up, and brighten his spirits, which was one -good thing it did.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the eventful day arrived, and the fortunate -chaps who knew that this was the appointed time, -looked at me with awe; and as we were getting up -in our dormitory, Percy Minimus whispered to me:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'll look a very different spectacle to-night -from what you do now, Rice."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The morning seemed long and I jolly near messed -up the whole thing and had a squeak of being kept -in for the half-holiday, but I escaped, and at last -the time came when the footer match was in full -swing and Brown, with a lot of kids, watching it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then, one by one, about fifteen of us strolled off, -including Sutherland and me and our seconds and -Travers major and Preston and Blades and -Saunders and Perkinson and Ash, and Percy Minimus, -who liked the sight of blood, if it wasn't his own.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>No time was lost, and a ring was made with a -bit of rope while Sutherland and I prepared. They -were two minute rounds, and Ash kept the time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>No two chaps ever shook hands in a more friendly -spirit, and as to the fight itself, as I cannot relate -it, I may copy the notes that Blades took. He -missed a good many delicate things that we did, -but the general description, though not at all in -regular sporting language, gives a fair idea of how -it went. He wrote these words:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 1.--Sutherland seemed thoughtful and -not so much interested as Rice. Rice advanced -and dodged about and struck out into the air -several times and danced on his feet; and once he -would have hit Sutherland; but Sutherland ducked -his head under the blow, and before Rice could -recover, hit him with both fists on the body. Rice -laughed and Sutherland smiled. They were dancing -about doing nothing when Ash called time, and -they rested, and their seconds wiped their faces and -Rice blew his nose with his fingers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 2.--Now Sutherland began to hit Rice -a good deal oftener than Rice hit him. But, in -the middle of the round, Rice got in a very fine -blow on Sutherland's face and knocked him down. -Sutherland instantly rose bleeding, but by no -means troubled. He praised Rice and said it was -a beauty. And Rice said, "Don't patronize me, -Sutherland," but Sutherland did not answer. For -the rest of the round Sutherland hit Rice several -times, but didn't make him bleed. It was a good -round and both were panting at the end.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 3.--Sutherland wouldn't let Rice get near -enough to hit him and kept catching Rice's -attempts on his arms. And his arms being longer -than Rice's, he could land on Rice without being -hit back. He did not hit so hard as Rice, but he -hit Rice, whereas Rice hit the air. Still Rice got -in a very good one just in the middle of -Sutherland's body, which doubled up Sutherland, and -before he could undouble again, Rice had hit him -very hard on the face with an upper cut. Sutherland -fairly poured with blood, but was quite cool -and showed no signs of not liking it. He got in a -very good blow with his left on Rice's neck before -Ash called time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 4.--It was certainly a very fine fight of -much higher class than we had ever seen before at -Merivale. This round was the fiercest up to now, -and Travers major had to caution Rice for being -inclined to use his head. Still he fought very -finely, but it worried him fearfully to be hit so often -without getting one back. The hits were not heavy -hits to the spectator, but they must have been -harder than they looked, because Rice, who has -black hair and a very pale skin by nature, was now -getting a mottled sort of skin. In this round they -were rather slower than before, and stood and -panted a good deal, and while they panted, they -looked at one another with a sort of doleful -cheerfulness from time to time. But there was also -fierce fighting, and Sutherland at last drew blood -from Rice with a blow on the nose. At the sight -of his blood, Rice gave a great display and kept -Sutherland moving about, and at last hit him -backwards out of the ring. But Sutherland instantly -returned and went on fighting till the end of the -round. It was a splendid round in every way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 5.---Both were now rather tired, and in -this round they took it easy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But at taking it easy Sutherland was much -better than Rice and did not waste so much energy in -feinting. He had the best of this round and hit -Rice twice or three times on the face. At the end -he fairly knocked Rice down, and when Ash said -"Time," Pegram and Travers minor rushed to pick -up Rice and carry him to his corner; but he rose -and walked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 6.--This looked as though it was going to -be the last, for Sutherland was now fresher than -Rice and evidently stronger. Rice began the round -well, but soon fell away, and Sutherland hit him -several times, and once over the right eyebrow and -cut him, and evidently did that eye no good. Rice -made ferocious dashes and Sutherland got away -from them; and then, while Rice was resting, -Sutherland dashed in and Rice didn't get away. -Sutherland hit Rice on the chest and knocked him -down, and it looked as though he wasn't going to -get up again; but he did, and still had good -strength. He was being licked, but slowly. At the -end of the round he got one good one in, though it -was lucky.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I must here break off the account of the fight by -Blades to describe a most amazing thing which -made this fight far unlike any other that I or -Sutherland had ever fought. After the sixth round -we were being mopped up and Pegram was advising -me to chuck it, and I was saying, in a gasping -sort of way, I should try to stick a few more rounds -and hope for a bit of luck, when, to our great -horror, there suddenly appeared from the trees -Brown and a man clad in black. At first we -thought it was a policeman, and that Brown had -heard of the fight and had called a constable to -take us up; but it turned out that Brown hadn't -heard of the fight, and the man in black was none -other than the father of Sutherland, the famous -middle-weight of other days!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He had called to see Sutherland, and had been -sent to the playing field; and there he had been met -by Brown. And Brown, guessing that the big -chaps were in the wood, had brought Sutherland's -father actually to the ring side!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Brown, of course, was furious and wanted to -stop the fight and take down all our names; but -the famous middle-weight would not hear of this. -The moment he found that Sutherland was fighting, -a wave of animation went over him and he begged -Brown as a personal favour to let us finish. He -even promised to put it all right with the Doctor -if anything was said, which showed his fighting -qualities were still there. Brown, of course, curled -up; but his little eyes blazed, and he said that -Sutherland's father must take the responsibility, -which he gladly undertook to do. Then Brown, -giving us a look which told without words what -would happen when Sutherland's father was gone, -went back to the kids.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In the meantime, I and Sutherland had a fine -rest, and after that we went on again. I wished -much that his father had seen the whole fight, -because I knew now, only too well, that Sutherland -had got me and that, of course, with his father -there, he'd buck up and do something out of the -common; and I deeply wished my father were there, -and not far away buying horses at a guinea a day -in Ireland. But I hoped now, with this good rest, -to last at least two more rounds.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I may now go on with the description of Blades.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 7.--Much refreshed by about six minutes' -rest, Rice and Sutherland began again, and -Sutherland's father watched the fight with a calm and -sporting interest. He was a clean-shaved man of -large size about the shoulders; but he had a pale, -sad-looking face and very thin lips, and one ear -larger than the other. Sutherland had to -withstand a wild rush from Rice and hit Rice while he -backed away from him, which pleased his father. -But Rice was not stopped, and he got close to -Sutherland and hit him very hard on the body -until they fell into each other's arms. And -Sutherland's father said, "Break! Break!" and then -apologized to Travers major, who was referee. -They parted, and Rice, evidently much refreshed, -went after Sutherland and hit him about three or -four times; then Sutherland hit him once. Then -it was time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 8.--Sutherland's father certainly seemed -to have brought Sutherland bad luck, for in the -next round Rice held his own, and though knocked -down at the beginning of the round, got up and -went on. And Sutherland's father asked me how -many rounds had been fought, and was very much -interested in my notes. And, owing to him reading -them, I could not describe this round. At the end -both were tired, one not more than the other.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 9.--Rice, feeling he had still a chance, -fought as well as ever in this round, and -Sutherland was clearly not taking anything like his old -interest in the fight. He kept looking mournfully -at his father and didn't seem to care where Rice hit -him, and I could see that his father was a good deal -disappointed. Rice had much the best of this -round, and Sutherland bled again, though Rice did also.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><em class="italics">Round</em><span> 10.--It began all right, though both could -hardly keep up their arms, and then, without a -blow, suddenly Sutherland shook his head and -extended his hand to Rice, and Rice shook it and the -battle was over.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That was the end of what Blades wrote, but much -remains to be told, and the fight, which was -extraordinary in the beginning, turned out far more -extraordinary at the end. I couldn't believe my -senses when Sutherland gave in, and more could -his father, and then came out the truth, which was -sad in a way, but really much sadder for me than -Sutherland. Because what I had thought was a -right down glorious victory, well worth the pint of -blood I had shed and the tooth I had lost, turned -out to be what you might really call very little -better than winning on a foul.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After the fight, Sutherland hastened to his father -and asked him about Sutherland major and heard -he was all right and going strong. Then he -actually began to blub; and his father rotted him and -asked him what the dickens was the matter with -him, and how he had given in to a chap sizes -smaller than himself, and then Sutherland, between -moments of undoubted weeping explained.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I never saw you in black clothes before, -because at home you always wear tweeds with squares -and a red tie; and seeing you in pitch black, of -course I thought Tom was dead. Till then I was -winning, and Rice knows I was; but after you -came and I felt positive Tom was dead----"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Sutherland was quite unable to go on, and -his father asked him however he thought he could -have stood there grinning at a kid fight under such -sad circumstances. Then he led Sutherland away -and explained that he happened to have been -attending a funeral, near Plymouth, of some old -lawyer friend; and he thought he would kill two -birds with one stone, as they say, and come over -and have a look at Sutherland and tell him they'd -heard good news of his brother and that his mother -had bucked up again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, there it was, and much worse for me than -Sutherland, because his grief was turned into joy; -but my joy was turned into grief--winning in that -footling way, which didn't amount to winning at -all. In fact it was mere dust, and enough to make -me weep myself, only that was a thing I had never -been known to do, and never shall in this world, -or the next.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>However, Sutherland minor was jolly sporting -about it, and thoroughly understood how it must -look from my point of view. He even offered to -come to Ireland in the Christmas Holidays, if my -people would ask him, and fight me again on my -own ground. He couldn't say more, but though I -gladly accepted the idea of his coming to Ireland, -which was a very happy thought on his part, I told -him frankly that I should not fight him again at -present.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We may meet some happy day in the Amateur -Championships, Sutherland," I said, "if I get -large enough and you don't get too large."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, Rice," he answered; "for I shall be a -heavyweight when I'm twenty, and you at best can never -hope to be anything but a welter; but I hope we'll -second each other many a time and oft."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="percy-minimus-and-his-tommy"><span class="large">PERCY MINIMUS AND HIS TOMMY</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>There were three Percys at Merivale, and they were -all there together; and to masters they were, of -course, known as Percy major, Percy minor, and -Percy minimus, but we called them "the Three -Maniacs."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Though mad, they were nice chaps in a way, and -did unexpected things and always interested everybody -because of their surprises. They were all very -different but very original, owing to their father -being a well-known actor. And Percy major was -already an actor by nature, and could imitate -anything with remarkable exactness, from Dr. Dunston -to a monkey on a barrel organ. He could even -imitate a hen with chickens, but he was going for much -higher flights when he went on the stage, and knew -the parts of Hamlet and Macbeth and Richard III -by heart; though he said to Travers, and I heard -him, that it would probably be many a long day -before he got a chance to act these great tragical -characters before a London audience. His father, -on the contrary, was a comedian, and Blades had -once seen him in a pantomime and liked him, and -said that he was good.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Percy minor was not going on the stage, though -when he liked he could be awfully funny. Only he -was generally serious, and meant to be a painter. -His great hope was to take likenesses, and he was -always practising it, and his school books were full -of portraits of chaps and masters. Some you could -recognize.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As for Percy minimus, he was the maddest of the -lot, and my special friend. We were in the Lower -Third; and Forbes minimus was also our special -friend. But he chucked Merivale, as his parents -went to the Cape of Good Hope and took him, and -then Percy and I were left.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Percy never came out much while his brothers -were at Merivale, and his only strong point was -singing in the choir. At music he was an -undoubted dab, and he liked it, and he said that, if his -voice turned into anything worth mentioning after -it cracked, he should very likely be an opera singer -of the first water. And if it failed and fizzled away -to nothing after cracking, as treble voices sometimes -do, then he was going to be a clergyman--if his -father would let him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He certainly sang like the devil, and Mr. Prowse, -our music-master, was fearfully keen on him, and -arranged solos in chapel for him. And people came -from long distances on Sundays to hear him sing, -though old Dunston always thought, when outsiders -turned up to the chapel services, it was to hear -him preach. But far from it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, this Percy minimus was what you may call -sentimental, and he certainly was a bit of a girl in -some ways. I hated that squashy side of him, and -tried to cure it; but I forgave him, because he liked -me, and not many chaps did, owing to my having a -stammer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Percy minimus was frightfully interested in my -stammer, and said it would very likely be cured -when I grew up. He said that people who -stammer when they talk can often sing quite well; so -I tried and found it was so. But here, again, there -was a drawback, because my singing voice, though -quite without any stammer, was right bang off as a -voice, and even funnier than my stammer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Percy minimus said it was just the sound a fly -made before it died, when it was caught by a spider; -so naturally I chucked it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But this about Percy, not me. He had very kind -instincts, and was of a gentle disposition. For -instance, when three of the masters went to the war, -and Dr. Dunston said he was going to fill the breach -and do extra work and take our class; while we -much regretted it, Percy minimus thought it was -fine of the Doctor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Though it is bad hearing for us, Cornwallis, -we are bound to admit it is sporting of him. -Because, at his great age, it must be very tiring to do -a lot of extra work; and no doubt to take the Lower -Third must be fairly deadly for such a learned man -as him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It will be deadlier for us," I said; and, of -course, it was. But that shows the queer views that -Percy gets--hardly natural, I call it. And then, -when the Doctor threw up the sponge and got a -new master called Peacock to help and fill the gap -till after the War, when Hutchings and Meadows -would come back, if alive, Percy minimus was queer -again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This Peacock was old and dreadfully humble. I -don't think he'd ever been a master before, and he -was very unlike his name in every way, and had no -idea of keeping order, but went in for getting our -affection. He tried frantically to be friendly; but -he failed, because he was too wormlike, being a -crushed and shabby man with a thin, grey beard. -And when he attempted to fling himself into a game -of hockey and be young and dashing, he hurt -himself and had to go in and get brandy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I believe he was a sort of charity on old Dunston's -part, really, for Mr. Peacock told Pegram that -he had a wife and six children, and his eldest son -was at the War, and his second son was in the -General Post Office, and his eldest daughter was a -schoolmistress at Bedford.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Fancy telling Pegram these things! All Pegram -did afterwards was to make fun of Peacock and -treat him with scorn, and many did the same; but -Percy minimus encouraged him, and he liked Percy -minimus, and told him several things about the -General Post Office not generally known.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Peacock, finding that me and Percy minimus were -rather above the common herd, told us that he was -very anxious about his son at the War, and was very -interested about the War in general, and made us -interested in it, too. He read us a letter from his -son at the Front, and Percy minimus said it brought -home the horrors--especially in the matters of food.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Though not a great eater, Percy liked nice food -better than any other kind, and then, owing to this -great feeling for nice food, there happened the -curious, and in fact most extraordinary, adventure of -his life.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He came to me much excited one day with a -newspaper. It was a week old, but otherwise perfect in -every way, and it had started a scheme for sending -the men at the Front a jolly good Christmas gift. -For the sum of five shillings the newspaper -promised to send off tobacco and cigarettes and sweets -and chocolate and a new wooden pipe, all in one -parcel; and so, as Percy minimus pointed out, if -you could only rake up that amount and send it to -the paper, it meant that one man in the trenches on -Christmas Day would have the great joy of receiving -all these luxuries in one simultaneous parcel from -an unknown friend at home.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's a splendid idea, and I should like nothing -better; but, of course, in our case, it is out of the -question. We've both subscribed to the Hutchings' -testimonial, and there's not a penny in sight for me -this side of Christmas, and no more there is for you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He admitted this, but said, because there wasn't -a penny in sight, it didn't follow we might not, by -some unheard-of deeds, rake up the money in time. -And I said, well knowing what five shillings meant, -that the deeds would certainly have to be -unheard-of. I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There's a fortnight before you have to send in -the money, but, so far as I am concerned, it might -just as well be ten years."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The problem simply is: How to raise five -shillings out of nothing in fourteen days."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It sounds simple enough."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The hardest problems often do."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In two days he had got a shilling, by selling a -thing he greatly valued. It was a tie his mother -had given him, and it was made of sheeny silk, and -changed colour according to which way you looked -at it. His mother had given half a crown for it, -and Percy wore it on Sundays only.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was Sutherland who gave the money; and that -still left four shillings, and Percy minimus hadn't -got another thing in the world worth twopence. -He then tried writing home, and failed. He said -his father was out of work, and, though a very -generous and kind father as a rule, not just now. His -mother also failed him. She wrote sorrowfully, but -said that she and his father had done everything -about the War they could for the present. He then -wrote to his godmother, and got a shilling. -Encouraged by this, he wrote to his godfather, who -didn't answer the letter.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Fourpence had gone on stamps for these four -letters, and he was accordingly left with one and -eightpence. Subtracting this from five shillings, -you will find he still had to raise three shillings and -fourpence.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It looked hopeless, and I pointed out there was -the additional danger that he might be accused of -getting money under false pretences if he didn't -collect the lot; but he did not fear that, because, as -he said, whatever he might get, he could send to -some other charity which was open to take less than -five shillings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There were now seven days left, and he began to -get very fidgetty and wretched. He said he was -always seeing in his mind's eye a Tommy in the -trenches waiting and watching and hoping, between -his fights, that Percy minimus would send him one -of those grand simultaneous packets. It got on his -nerves after a bit, and twice he woke me in the dead -of the night in our dormitory sniffing very loud.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You're making a toil of a pleasure, Percy."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, I'm not. Whenever I go to sleep, I dream -of my Tommy in the trenches; and the parcels are -being given out by Lord French, and my Tommy -stretches up his hand eagerly and hopefully; but -there's no parcel for him. And he shrugs his shoulders -and just bears it, and goes back to his gun; but -it's simply hell for me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's he like?" I asked, to get Percy minimus -off the sad side of it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Huge and filthy," said Percy minimus. "He -has a brown face and a big, black moustache and -one of the new steel hats; and he's plastered with -mud, and his eyes roll with craving for cigarettes -and chocolates."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You needn't worry," I said. "He'll get his -parcel all right. Of course, they won't miss him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What a fool you are, Cornwallis!" he answered, -still sniffing. "Can't you see that, if I don't send -a parcel, there will be one parcel less; and so one -man will go without who would otherwise have had -a parcel; and that man will be this one I see in my -dreadful dreams."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If you put it like that," I said--"of course."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he had another beastly thought.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I've got an idea the man is Peacock's son," he -said. "And I feel a regular traitor to Peacock -now every time I look at him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then why don't you ask him for some money?" -I naturally answered.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I feel he hasn't got any," replied Percy. "But -I can try."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Besides," I said, "his son may be an officer, -and, of course, they would be far above parcels."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I hope he is," said Percy; "but I don't think -he is. And nobody would be above a parcel at a -time like that."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyway he asked Peacock, and Peacock gave him -sixpence, and wished he could do better. This -made two and twopence; and the same day Percy -found a threepenny piece in the playground; and -though, at another time, he would have mentioned -this, with a view of returning it to the proper -owner, now he didn't, but said it was a Providence, -and added it to the rest.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And this gave him another hopeful idea, and he -mentioned the parcel for his Tommy in his prayers, -morning and evening, and asked me to do so too. -I was fed up with the whole thing by now, because -Percy was getting fairly tormented by it, and even -said he saw the Tommy looking at him in broad -daylight sometimes--over the playground wall, or -through the window in the middle of a class. Still -I obliged him, and prayed four times for him to -get his two and sevenpence; but there was no reply -whatever; and in this way two days were wasted.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he had a desperate but brilliant idea, and -told me. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"After school on Friday, in the half-hour before -tea, I'm going to break bounds and go down into -Merivale and stand by the pavement and sing the -solo from the anthem we did last Sunday! Many -people who sing along by the pavement make money -by doing so, and I might."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If you're caught, Dunston will flog you," I -reminded him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But he was far past a thing like that. His eyes -had glittered in rather a wild way for three days -now, and he said the Tommy with the black -moustache was always looking reproachfully at him, -and if he shut his eyes he saw him more distinctly -than ever. In fact, he was getting larger and -more threatening every minute. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A mere flogging is nothing to what they endure -in the trenches."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a sporting idea, and I would have risked -it and gone with him; in fact, I offered, being his -great chum, but he would not allow me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No," he said, "nothing is gained by your -coming. This is entirely my affair. Besides, you -wouldn't tempt people to subscribe."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So he went, and escaped in the darkness, and I -waited at the limit of "bounds" with great anxiety -to meet him when he came back. My last word to -him was not to sing his bit out of an anthem, but -something comic about the War. But he didn't -know anything comic about the War, and he said, -even if he did, that such a thing would only amuse -common people, who could not be supposed to give -more than halfpence, if they gave anything at all; -whereas a solo from a fine anthem would attract a -better class, who understood more about music, -and were more religious, and consequently had -more money.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So he went, and in about twenty minutes, to my -great horror, I saw him being brought back in the -custody of Brown--our well known master!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The hateful Brown always loves to score off -anybody not in his own class, and so, seeing Percy -warbling out of bounds in the middle of Merivale, -and about ten people, mostly kids, listening to him, -he pounced on the wretched Percy and dragged him -away. He'd been singing about ten minutes when -the blow fell, and he was fearfully upset about it, -because everything had been going jolly well, and -he had already made no less than sevenpence in -coppers, all from oldish women. He had been told -to go away from in front of a butcher's shop, but -nobody else had interfered with him in the least, -and he had sung the anthem solo through twice, -and was just off again when the brutal Brown came -along and saw the Merivale colours on his cap, -recognized Percy minimus, and very nearly had a fit.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So there it was; and he got flogged, and Dr. Dunston -said it showed low tastes, and would have been -a source of great sorrow to his father. And he also -said that to explode a sacred air in that way in -hope of touching the charitable to fill his own -pocket was about the limit, and a great disgrace to -the school in general. All of which went off Percy -like water off a duck's back, and the flogging didn't -seem to hurt him either.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And there were four days still, and he said his -Tommy grew larger and larger, until he was almost -as big as a house. In fact, Percy minimus was -rapidly growing dotty, and, as his great friend, I -felt I must do something, or he would very likely -get some other dangerous illness, or have a fit, or -lose his mind for ever and become a maniac in real -earnest. So I told Percy minor; but unfortunately -he and my Percy had quarrelled rather bitterly for -the moment, and Percy minor said he didn't care -what happened to Percy minimus; and that if he -went out of his mind he wouldn't have far to go; -while, as to Percy major, I couldn't tell him, -because he had left Merivale the term before.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The matron now discovered that Percy was -queer, for she'd been making him take pills for two -days, and then one night, hearing him sigh fearfully -after he was in bed, she tried his temperature, -and found it about three hundred degrees of -warmth. So she lugged him off to the sick room, -and Dr. Weston came in his motor, and said he -couldn't see any reason for it, and gave Percy some -muck to calm him down.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Next day he was kept in the sick room, though -cooler, and when Dr. Weston came on that day and -questioned Percy in a kind tone of voice, he -explained the whole thing to the doctor, and said that -he was in fearful difficulties of mind. And -Dr. Weston asked him what difficulties, and he said for -two shillings, which, added to three, make five.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the doctor told him to go on, so he did, and -showed the doctor the advertisement from the -paper about the simultaneous parcels. He also -said that his Tommy had now grown as big as a -cloud in the sky, and was always looking at him -by night and day hungrily, and urging him on to -fresh efforts. And he also said that if he was only -allowed to go into the streets and sing an anthem -for an hour or two, the two shillings would be -accomplished, and all would be well. And -encouraged by the great interest of Dr. Weston, Percy -minimus ventured to ask him if he thought he -could ask Dr. Dunston to allow this to be done, -seeing it meant great comfort and joy for a Tommy in -the trenches on Christmas Day.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It made Percy much cooler and calmer explaining -why his temperature had run up, and the doctor -said it was undoubtedly not good for Percy to -have the Tommy so much on his mind. He didn't -approve of the idea of Percy singing either; but -he put his hand into his waistcoat pocket and -produced a two-shilling piece, as if it was nothing, and -he said that if the matron or somebody, would get -a postal order for five shillings and send it off at -once, he had every reason to think that Percy would -soon recover.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Which was done, and I was allowed to see Percy, -and bring from his desk the cutting out of the -newspaper, which he had already signed with his -name and address, which were to go to the Front -with his parcel. And Percy said that a great -weight had now been lifted from his brain, which -no doubt it had.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyhow, when Dr. Weston came next day he -found Percy in a bath of perspiration, and was -much pleased, and said he was practically cured. -And Percy told him that his Tommy had now -shrunk to about the size of an ordinary Tommy, -and only came when he was asleep, and was not in -the least reproachful, but quite pleasant and nice. -And one day later the Tommy disappeared -altogether, and Percy minimus became perfectly well. -In fact, before the holidays arrived he seemed to -have forgotten all about his Tommy, and I took -jolly good care not to remind him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He got fearfully keen about Dr. Weston then, -and said that he was the best man he had ever seen -or heard of; and he even hoped that next term he -might run up to three hundred degrees again--just -for the great pleasure of seeing and talking to -this doctor once more.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But that wasn't all by any means--in fact, you -might say that far the most remarkable part of -the adventure of Percy minimus had yet to come. -He went home for the holidays, and when he came -back, much to my astonishment, he was full of his -blessed Tommy again. He actually said that he'd -got a photograph of him!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I thought that coming back to school had made -him queer once more, but he wasn't in the least -queer, for I saw the photograph with my own eyes.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was like this: the Tommy who had got the -Christmas parcel which Percy's five shillings -bought, found Percy's address in it, according to -the splendid arrangement of the newspaper, and, -though far too busy in the trenches to take any -notice of it just then, he was not too busy to smoke -the new pipe and the cigarettes and eat the -various sweets--no doubt between intervals of fiery -slaughter. But he kept Percy's address in his -pocket, for he was a good and grateful man; and -then, most unfortunately, he was hit in the foot by -a piece of shrapnel shell, and though far from -killed, yet so much wounded that he had to retire -from the Front. In fact, he was sent home to -recover, and one day in hospital, about a week before -the end of the holidays, he had found Percy -minimus's name and address in the pocket of his -coat, and had written Percy a most interesting -letter of four pages, saying that the parcel had been -a great comfort to him, and that he had sucked the -last peppermint drop only an hour before being -shrapnelled. And, having been photographed several -times in the hospital by visitors, he sent Percy -minimus one. And there he was!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said it was a jolly interesting thing, and so on; -but I couldn't for the moment see why Percy was -so frightfully excited about it, because it was quite -a possible thing to happen, though, of course, very -good in its way, and a letter he would always keep.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You don't seem to see the point, Cornwallis. -It's a miracle."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Because this is the very identical Tommy I -was always seeing in my dreams--the very -identical one!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I hadn't thought of that, but somehow taken it -for granted. Then he pointed out it wasn't in the -least a thing to take for granted, but the purest -miracle that ever happened in the memory of man, -and quite beyond human power to explain it in the -world.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said there might be people in the world who -could, but he wouldn't hear of such a thing. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No--not in this world; but no doubt there -are in the next."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then you'll have to wait."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's done one thing; it's quite decided me about -my future. I'm going to be a clergyman."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not if your voice doesn't crack, surely?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"My voice!" answered Percy minimus with -great scorn. "What is a voice compared to a -miracle? If miracles happen to you, then, if -you've got any proper feeling, you ought to insist -on being a clergyman."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I suppose he will be. But whatever else he -is--even if he rises to be a Canon or a Bishop--he'll -always be a maniac, the same as his brothers.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-prize-poem"><span class="large">THE PRIZE POEM</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Things were beastly dull at Merivale when we -went back after the Christmas holidays, and I -believe even the Doctor felt it. Of course, from our -point of view, his life must always be deadly, but -I suppose he gets a certain amount of feeble -excitement into it, in ways not known to us. It's -rather interesting to wonder what old people do -find worth doing; yet they must do something to -amuse themselves, off and on, or they'd go mad, I -should think, which they seldom do. The -amusements of a very old person must be rather weird, -yet they clearly like to be alive, for when my -grandmother died, she was eighty--a time of life when -you'd think there was simply nothing left. Yet, -when I went to say farewell to her, she told me -she hoped to see the spring flowers once more. -She didn't; but it shows how fearfully hard-up old -people must be for amusement of any kind; for -who on earth would want to see flowers, spring or -otherwise, if practically everything else had not -been lost to them? Myself I would much rather -have died years before than eat the food my -grandmother ate, and never go out except in a -bath-chair; but she found it good enough, strange to -say. So, no doubt, Dr. Dunston, who is entirely -active, and can eat meat and drink wine and walk -rapidly about, still finds being Head of Merivale -School all right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the winter term was deadly, what with the -bad weather and the slow progress of the War, and -losing most of our football matches, owing to -having a very weak team.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then old Peacock, of all men--the new master, -I mean--got an idea, and Fortescue thought it was -a good one, and Peacock proposed it to the Doctor, -and Dr. Dunston agreed to it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In fact, he announced it after chapel during the -third week of February in these words:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Our new friend, Mr. Peacock, has made a -proposal to me, and I have great pleasure not only in -agreeing with him, but in congratulating him on a -very happy thought. Suspecting that there may be -mute, inglorious Miltons amongst us--a sanguine -hope I cannot share--Mr. Peacock has thought -that it would add an interest to the term and wake -a measure of enthusiasm and energy in the ranks -of our versifiers if we initiate a competition. He -suggests a prize poem upon the subject of the War; -and while my heart misgives me, yet I bow to -Mr. Peacock's generous proposal. You are invited, one -and all of you, from the greatest to the least, to -write a prize poem on the subject of the War, and -if such a momentous theme fails to produce some -notable addition to our war poetry, then Mr. Peacock's -disappointment will be considerable. He -trusts you to enter upon this task in no light spirit, -and when I add that Mr. Peacock proposes to give -a prize of one guinea--twenty-one shillings--to -the victorious poet, you will see that a real effort is -needed. You will have a calendar month to -prepare and execute your verses, which must be -composed outside the regular school hours; and I may -tell you that unless a certain humble standard of -intelligence and poetic ability is reached, I shall -direct Mr. Peacock to withhold his prize."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, there it was; and, of course, a good deal -of excitement occurred, and it was jolly interesting -to see who entered for the prize poem and who -did not. No doubt Travers major would have won -it without an effort, being so keen about everything -to do with war; but, luckily for the rest, he -had left to go to Woolwich the term before. Travers -minor entered because he was strongly advised -to, being a flier at literature in general and keen -about poetry; but he said frankly he should not -praise the War, but slate it, because he utterly -disagreed with it and hated war in general.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, the prize being a guinea made a lot of -difference, and many unexpected chaps decided to -write a prize poem, though most of these, when -they sat down with pens and ink to do it, found -such a thing quite beyond them in every way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I myself--my name is Abbott--was one of -these, and after reading a good many real poems -of the War, which Mr. Fortescue, who was a great -poet and much interested in the competition, kindly -lent me, I found, on setting out to do it, that the -difficulties were far too great. Rhymes are easy -enough to get, in a way, but when you come to -string the poem together, you generally find your -rhymes aren't solemn enough. I believe I could -have written a screamily funny prize poem; but, of -course, that wouldn't have pleased the Doctor, or -Peacock either, so it wasn't any good wasting time -being funny. For instance, I wrote the following -poem in less than ten minutes:</span></p> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>The Hun, the Hun, the footling Hun,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Most certainly doth take the bun.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>And Blades and several other chaps said it was -jolly good. But Blades, who had also had a shot -or two on the quiet, was like me--he could only -make comic poems, and the stanzas of his poem -took the form of Limericks. He said he could -invent them with the greatest ease--in class, or -at prayers, or at meals, or going to bed, or getting -up, or in his bath--in fact, at any time when he -wasn't playing football. He gave me an example, -which seemed to me so frightfully good that I -thought very likely Peacock would have given him -a consolation prize. So he tried it on Peacock; -but Mr. Peacock thought nothing of it, and said -that was not at all the spirit of a prize poem, but -belonged to the gutter-press, whatever that is. It -ran like this:</span></p> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>The Kaiser set off for Paree</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>As if it was only a spree,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>But old French's Army,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>It soon knocked him barmy,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And now he is melancolee.</span></div> -</div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>He next had a flutter at Nancy,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Though doubtless a little bit chancy;</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>But his men got a doing,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>With plenty more brewing,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>So he galloped off, saying, "Just fancy!"</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>There were hundreds more verses--in fact, you -might say the whole history of the War as far as -it had got; and I advised Blades to send it to </span><em class="italics">The -Times</em><span>--to buck it up--or </span><em class="italics">Punch</em><span>, or something; -but he wouldn't, and when Peacock decided it was -no use, he gave up writing it, so a good poem was -lost, in my opinion.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Many fell out before the appointed day for -sending in the prize poems; but many did not, and -though it was natural that a good few chaps -chucked it, the extraordinary thing was the -number of chaps who kept on to the bitter end, so to -speak, and sent in poems. Almost the most -amazing was Mitchell. He certainly had made a rude -poem once in a moment of rage, but as to real -poetry, a cabbage might just as well have tried to -make a poem as him. He was only keen about one -thing in the world, and that was money; and, of -course, that was why he entered the competition. -He said to me: "I'd do much worse things than -make a prize poem, if anybody offered me a guinea. -If it had been one of the Doctor's wretched prizes, -I wouldn't have attempted it; but a guinea is a -guinea, and as nobody here can make poetry for -nuts, I'm just as likely to bring it off as anybody -else. It's taking a risk, in a way, but I've got my -ideas about the War, just as much as Travers -minor or Sutherland, and, if I don't win, I shall -get a bit of fun out of it, anyway."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was a mean beast always, but cunning and -frightfully crafty; and as he had never had a decent -idea in his life, let alone a poetical one, we were -all frightfully interested in Mitchell's poem on the War.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The chap Sutherland he had mentioned was -regarded as having a chance, for he knew a lot about -the War, and had two cousins in it, one in France -and one with the Fleet. He got letters without -stamps on them from these chaps, but there was -never much in them. Thwaites also entered, and -he was known to write poetry and send it home; -but it had not been seen, and Thwaites, being -delicate and rather fond of art and playing the -piano and such like piffle, we didn't regard him as -having warlike ideas. Besides, once, when Blades -suddenly pulled out one of his teeth in class and -bled freely over Thwaites, who sat next to him, -Thwaites fainted at the sight of blood; which -showed he couldn't possibly write anything worth -mentioning on such a fearful subject as war; -because, you may say, a war is blood or nothing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Only one absolute kid entered, and this was -Percy minimus, who had sent a Christmas pudding -to the Front, and had the photograph of a -"Tommy" back. So he wrote a prize poem which -he let his friends see, and Forbes minimus said it -was good, as far as he could say to the contrary. -No doubt it appeared so to a squirt like Forbes -minimus, but, of course, it could not be supposed -to stand against the work of Travers minor, or -Sutherland, or Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I always rather thought myself that Rice might -pull it off, being Irish and a great fighter by nature. -Unfortunately, he didn't know anything whatever -about poetry; yet his fighting instinct made him -enter, and though he wasn't likely to rhyme very -well, or look after the scanning and the feet and -the spondees and dactyls, and all that mess, which, -no doubt, would count, yet I hoped that, for -simple warlike dash, Rice might bring it off. I asked -him about it, and he said a good many things had -gone wrong with it, but here and there were bits -that might save it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I believe I shall either win the guinea right -bang off, or get flogged." Which interested me -fearfully, but didn't surprise me, because it was -rather the way with Rice to rush at a thing -head-long and come out top--or bottom. He only -really kept cool and patient and never ran risks -when he was fighting; but at everything else, which -he considered less important, he just dashed. He -had dashed at the prize poem--very different -from Tracey, who was always cool about -everything, and wouldn't have gone to the Front -himself for a thousand pounds. Tracey was great at -satire--in fact, satire was a natural gift with -him--and though, of course, it didn't always -come off, owing to being so satirical that nobody -saw it, still he often did get in a nasty one; and -sometimes got licked for doing so.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He told me his prize poem was all pure satire, -and I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I doubt if the Doctor or Peacock will see it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Tracey said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I can't help that. Poetry is art, and I can't -alter my great feeling for satire to please them. -It will come out; and even though old Dunston -and Peacock don't see it, I know jolly well the -Kaiser and the Crown Prince would, if they read it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, there it was, and that was about the lot -worth mentioning who had a shot at Mr. Peacock's -guinea. The calendar month passed, and one day, -when classes began, the Doctor appeared, -supported by Peacock, Fortescue, and Brown.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Everybody was summoned into the chapel, and -the Doctor, who dearly likes a flare-up of this kind, -told us that the prize poems had been judged and -were going to be read.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I may tell you," he said, "that the prize has -been won, contrary to my fear that none would -prove worthy of it. But we are agreed that there -is a copy of verses on the solemn subject set for -discussion that disgraces neither the writer nor -Merivale. Indeed, I will go further than that, and -declare that one poem reflects no small credit on -the youthful poet responsible for it; and Mr. Peacock -and Mr. Fortescue, than whom you shall find -no more acute and critical judges, share my own -pleasure at the effusion."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The Doctor then began to read the prize poems, -and he started with that of Percy minimus, much -to Percy's confusion.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The views of Percy minimus on the War are -elementary, as we should expect from a youth of -his years," said old Dunston. "I may remark, -however, that he rhymes with great accuracy, and -if he shows an inclination to be didactic, and -even give Lord Kitchener a hint or two, I frankly -pardon him for the sake of his concluding line. -This reveals in Percy minimus a flash of elevated -feeling which does him infinite credit. One can -only hope that his pious aspiration will be echoed -by those great nations doomed to defeat in the -appalling catastrophe which they have provoked."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he gave us the poem.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">THE WAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY PERCY MINIMUS</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>War is a very fearful thing, I'm sure you'll all agree,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>But sometimes we have got to fight in order to be free.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The Germans want to slaughter us, and do not understand</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>We are a people famed in fight, and also good and grand.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>We never were unkind to them and never turned them out</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>When unto England's shores they came, to trade and look about.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>But all the time, I grieve to say, they only came as spies,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>So that, when came the dreadful "Day," they'd take us by surprise.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Which they did do, and if our ships had not been all prepared,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The Germans would have landed, and not you or I been spared.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Now all is changed, and very soon, upon the Belgian strand,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>I promise you a million men of English breed shall land.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>And thanks to good Lord Kitchener, their wants will be supplied</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>With splendid food and cosy clothes and many things beside;</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>But he must bring the big siege guns when Antwerp we shall reach,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Because with these fine weapons we have got to make a breach.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>So let us pray that very soon we smash the cruel Hun,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And if, by dreadful luck, we lose--oh, then God's will be done!</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>We applauded Percy minimus for his sporting -attempt, feeling of course, it was piffle really, but -good for a kid. Then the Doctor said he was going -to read Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Fortescue," said Dunston, "has evinced -the deepest interest in the achievement of Rice. -He tells me that there is now a movement in -art--including the sacred art of poesy--which is -known as the Futurist Movement. Rice's effort -reminds Mr. Fortescue of this lamentable outrage -on the Muses, for it appears that the Futurists -desire to thrust all that man has done for art into -the flames--to forget the glories of Greece, to -pour scorn on the Renaissance, to begin again with -primal chaos in a world where all shall be without -form and void. This is Nihilism and a crime -against culture. For some mysterious reason, the -boy Rice, who we may safely assume has never -heard of the Futurists until this moment, appears -to have emulated their methods and shared their -unholy extravagance of epithets, their frenzied -anarchy, their scorn of all that is lovely and of -good repute. He even permits himself expressions -that at another time would win something more -than a rebuke. I will now read Rice, not for my -pleasure or yours, but that at least you may learn -what is not poetry, and can never be mistaken for -poetry by those who, like ourselves, have drunk at -the Pierian spring."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">WAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY RICE</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>Smash! Crash! Crash! Bang! Crash! Bang!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Rattle, rattle, rattle, and crash again.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Air full of puffs of smoke where shells are bursting overhead,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Scream of shrapnel over the trenches and yells of rage!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Roar of men charging and howling a savage song---</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>"Now we shan't be long!" Tramp of feet--then flop! they fall,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Dropping out here, there, and everywhere, and rolling head</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>over heels like rabbits.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And some sit up after the charge, and some don't.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Shot through the heart or head, they roll gloriously over--all in!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>But on go the living, shouting and screaming, and some bleeding</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>and not knowing it.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>As loud as the "Jack Johnsons" they howl, their rifles are at</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>the charge and the bayonets are white--</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>The white arm that goes in in front and out behind--</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Or in behind and out in front of the Germans running away.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The Boche hates the white arm--it sends him to hell by the million!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Crash! Crash! Squash! Smash! Smash! Smash!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The trench is reached. Blood spurts and bones crack like china.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Gurgles! Chokes! Yells! Helmets fly, bayonets stick</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And won't come out! Everybody is dead or dying in the</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>trench--except twelve Tommies!</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Damns, growls, yells choked with blood!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Death, awful wounds, mess, corpses, legs, arms, heads--all separate!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The trench is taken, and England has gained</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>A hundred yards! Hoorooh!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Hoorooh! Hoorooh! Hoorooh!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And what must it be to be there!!!</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>Signed RICE.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>I looked at Rice while his poem was being -intoned by the Doctor. He had turned very red, but -he stuck it well, and somehow, though, of course, -it was right bang off, and no rhymes or anything, -I liked it. And Mr. Fortescue liked it, as he -afterwards told Rice; but the Doctor and Mr. Peacock -fairly hated it, so that was the end of Rice.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They thought nothing of Tracey's poem, either. -The Doctor said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Tracey has produced what, for reasons best -known to himself, he calls 'a satire.' It possesses -a certain element of crude humour, which, on such -a solemn theme, is utterly out of place. Upon the -whole, I regard it as discreditable in a Sixth Form -boy, and do not think the better of Tracey for -having written it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He then read Tracey.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">A SATIRE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY TRACEY</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>No doubt, O Kaiser, you have thought</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Napoleon was a duffer</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Compared to you, when you set out</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>To make Old England suffer.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>But if you read your history books,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>You'll very quickly find, Sir,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>That Boney knew, despite his faults,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>How to make up his mind, Sir.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>You flutter up, you flutter down,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>You flutter night and day, Sir,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Yet somehow victory won't look</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Your mad and fluttering way, Sir,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>But when the war by us is won,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And in Berlin our men, Sir,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>You'll be a bit surprised to find</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Where you will flutter then, Sir.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>We laughed and thought it ripping; but the -Doctor seemed to be hurt, and said: "Silence, silence, -boys! It ill becomes us to jest at the spectacle -of a fallen potentate, and still less so before he has -fallen.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A more pleasing effort is that of Travers -minor," went on the Doctor, picking up the poem -of Travers. "We have here nothing to be -described as a picture of war, but rather the views of -an intelligent and Christian boy upon war. -Personally, I think well of these verses. They are -unostentatious--no flash of fire--but a temperate -lament on war in general and a final conviction -not lacking in shrewdness. I will not say that I -entirely agree with Travers minor in his -concluding assertion, but he may be right--he may be -right. At any rate, the poem is a worthy -expression of an educated mind, and by no means the -worst of those with which we are called to deal."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He then read Travers minor, and we were all -frightfully disappointed, for it turned out that -Travers hated war, so the result wasn't a war poem -at all, but a very tame affair without any dash -about it--in fact, very feeble, I thought. His -brother would have despised him for writing it. -Of course, Peacock wanted a poem praising up the -glory of war, not sitting on it, like Travers minor did.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">THE FOG OF WAR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY TRAVERS MINOR</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>From out the awful fog of war</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>One thing too well we see--</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>That man has not yet reached unto</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>His highest majesty.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>For battle is a fiendish art</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>We share with wolf and bear,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>But man has got a soul to save--</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>He will not save it there.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>This is the twentieth century,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>We boast our great good sense.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And yet can only go to war</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>At horrible expense</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Of human life. It makes us beasts;</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>We shout and spend our breath</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>To hear a thousand enemies</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Have all been blown to death.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And each of all those thousand men</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Was doubtless good and kind,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>As those, no doubt, remember well</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Whom he has left behind.</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And when I hear that war brings out</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Our finest qualities,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>I do believe with all my heart</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>That is a pack of lies.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>A deadly silence greeted the prize poem of -Travers minor, and I believe the Doctor felt rather -sick with us for not applauding it. And Tracey, -who was very mad at what the Doctor had said -about him, whispered rather loud that Travers -minor's effort was almost worthy of </span><em class="italics">Hymns -Ancient and Modern</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There were only three poems left now, and the -excitement increased a good deal, because nobody -had won Peacock's guinea yet, so it was clear that -either Mitchell, or Thwaites, or Sutherland minor -was the lucky bargee. Both Mitchell and Thwaites -seemed beyond the wildest hope, and we felt pretty -sure that Sutherland must have done the trick. -But he hadn't. The Doctor picked up his poem -and put on a doubtful expression.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I confess that Sutherland gives me pause," -he said. "For skill in rhyming, Sutherland -deserves all praise--he is ingenious and correct--but -such is the faultiness of his ear that he flouts -the fundamentals of prosody in each of his four -stanzas. In fact, Sutherland's poetry, regarded as -such, is excruciating. He has ideas, though not of -a particularly exalted character; and even if he -had given us something better worthy to be called -a poem, his lamentable failure in metre would have -debarred him from victory. His last verse -contains an objectionable suspicion we might -associate rather with a commercial traveller or small -tradesman, than with one of us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Sutherland's wasn't bad really, though -rather rocky from a poetical point of view, as the -Doctor truly said.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">KHAKI FOR EVER</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY SUTHERLAND</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>Loud roars the dreadful cannon above the bloody field,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>While, like the lightning, through the smoke's dim shroud</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>The tongues of flame are flashing, where, concealed,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>The vainglorious enemy's battery doth vaunt and laugh aloud,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Thinking that men of British race are going to yield.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>Poor German cannon-fodder! Little do they know</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>That those who wear khaki have never yet</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Wherever, at the call of Bellona, they may go,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Surrendered to a lesser foe than Death. They've met</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>Far finer fighters than the Boche, and made their life's-blood flow.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>Whether upon the open battle-front, or in a trench,</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>Or in a fort, or keeping communications,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>With such a leader as great General French</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>The British khaki boys defeat all nations,</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>And in the foeman's gore their glittering bayonets they quench.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -<div class="line"><span>And they will win, for right is on their side;</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>And when they do, the neutrals shall not share</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>The rich-earned booty the Allies divide;</span></div> -<div class="inner line-block"> -<div class="line"><span>For, as they would not sail in and fight, it is not fair</span></div> -</div> -<div class="line"><span>That they should win the fruits of this bloody tide.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>We could see what the Doctor meant about -Sutherland's poem--it didn't flow exactly; but it -might have been worse. Then Dr. Dunston picked -up Mitchell's poem and frowned; and Peacock -frowned; and Fortescue also frowned. We didn't -know what was going to happen, for the Doctor -made no preliminary remarks on the subject of -Mitchell. He just gave his glasses a hitch and -glared over the top of Mitchell's effort and then -read it out.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">OLD ENGLAND FOR EVER</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY MITCHELL</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>Oh, now doth Death line his dead chaps with steel,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The swords of soldiers are his teeth, his fangs,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And now he feasts, mousing the flesh of man!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Rejoice, ye men of England, ring your bells.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>King George, your King and England's, doth approach,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Commander of this hot, malicious day!</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Our armour, that marched hence so silver bright,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Hither returns all gilt with German blood;</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Our colours do return in those same hands</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>That did display them when we first marched forth;</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And, like a jolly troup of huntsmen, come</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Our lusty English all with purple hands,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Dyed in the slaughter of their Teuton foes.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>But to their home they will no more return</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Till Belgium's free and France is also free;</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Then to their pale, their white-faced shore,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Whose foot spurns back the ocean's roaring tides</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And coops from other lands her islanders--</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Even to that England, hedged in with the main,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>That water-walled bulwark still secure,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Will they return and hear our thunderous cheers.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>But Belgium first, unhappy, stricken land,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Which has, we know, and all too well we know,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Sluiced out her innocent soul through streams of blood,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Which blood, like sacrificing Abel's, cries,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Even from the tongueless caverns of the earth,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>To us for justice and rough chastisement,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And, by the glorious worth of our descent,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Our arm shall do it, or our life be spent.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>The Doctor stopped suddenly and flung his eyes -over us. Naturally we were staggered and full of -amazement to think of a hard blade like Mitchell -producing such glorious stuff. Any fool could see -it was poetry of the classiest kind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do you desire to hear more?" shouted the Doctor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And we said, "Yes, sir!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Then seek it in the immortal pages from whence -the boy Mitchell has dared to steal it!" he -thundered out, growing his well-known, deadly red -colour. "With predatory hand and audacity from -which the most hardened criminal would have -shrunk, this abominable boy, insolently counting -on the ignorance of those whose unfortunate duty -it is to instruct him, has appropriated the Bard to -his own vile uses; and his cunning has led him -to interpolate and alter the text in such a manner -that sundry passages are made to appear as one. -Mitchell will meet me in my study after morning -school. I need say no more. Words fail me----"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And they actually did, which was a record in its -way. The Doctor panted for a bit, then he picked -up Mitchell's poem, or rather, Shakespeare's, as if -it was a mouse that had been dead a fortnight, -and dropped it on the ground. It was rather a -solemn moment--especially for Mitchell--and -the only funny thing about it was to see the Sixth. -Of course, they'd been had by Mitchell, just the -same as us in the Fifth--in fact, everybody; but -they tried to look as if they'd known it was -Shakespeare from the first. As for Mitchell, he had -made the rather rash mistake of thinking old -Dunston and Peacock and Fortescue didn't know -any more about Shakespeare than he did; and now -he sat awful white, but resigned. As a matter of -fact, he got the worst flogging he ever did get, and -had a narrow squeak of being expelled also. It -calmed him down for days afterwards, and he was -also called "King John" till the end of the term, -as a mark of contempt, which he badly hated.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the Doctor snorted himself calm, and -his face grew its usual colour. He picked up -Thwaites, and ended with the tamest poem of the -lot, in my opinion. Which shows that grown-up -people and boys have a very different idea about -what is poetry and what isn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The verses of Thwaites have won the poet's -bay," said Dr. Dunston. "Thwaites alone has -written a work worthy to be called a poem. His -stanzas possess music and reveal thought and -feeling. Neither technically are they open to grave -objection. I congratulate Thwaites. Though not -robust, or a pillar of strength, either in his class, -or in the field, he possesses a refined mind, a -capacity of emotion and a power for expressing that -emotion in terms of poetry that time and application -may possibly ripen and mature. Such, at -least, is my opinion, and those who have sat in -judgment share it with me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He then gave us Thwaites--twittering sort of -stuff, and interesting, not because Thwaites had -got "the poet's bay," whatever that is, but because -he had landed Peacock's guinea. Nobody much -liked his prize poem except the masters, and even -Thwaites himself said it wasn't any real good, and -was written when he had a beastly sore throat and -was feeling utterly down on his luck. In fact, he -was going to call it "Lines Written in Dejection -at Merivale," like real poets do, only he got better -before he finished the last verse, and so didn't.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">TO THE EARTH</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY THWAITES</span></p> -<!-- --> -<blockquote> -<div> -<div class="line-block outermost"> -<div class="line"><span>Suffer, sad earth; no pain can equal thine:</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Thy giant heart must ever be a shrine</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>For all the sorrows of Humanity.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>As one by one the stricken ages die,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The bright beams of the stars are turned to tears,</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And howling winds that whistle down the years</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Sigh "Sorrow, sorrow, sorrow!" and are gone</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Into the silence of oblivion.</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Suffer, great world; the poison fangs of Death</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Can only wound, not kill thee.... Lo! the breath</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Of everlasting dawn is in the wind;</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The distant throbbing of a giant Mind</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Shall set the music of the Universe</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>Once more in time--with harmony coerce</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>The discord of a warring race to cease</span></div> -<div class="line"><span>And sorrow die within the arms of peace.</span></div> -<div class="line"> </div> -</div> -</div> -</blockquote> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Thwaites spent his guinea almost entirely on -tuck, and though he was very generous with it, -and shared the grub with the competitors Rice and -Sutherland minor, who were his friends, he still -kept enough to make himself ill again. For it was -one of the unlucky things about Thwaites that any -muck really worth eating always bowled him over. -He wrote a poem three times as long as his War -poem, called "Effect of Cocoanut Rock on the -Tummy of Thwaites"; but Dunston wouldn't have -purred much over that.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-revenge"><span class="large">THE REVENGE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>If anybody has done a crime, Dr. Dunston -generally speaks to them before the school, so that all -may hear what the crime is. And according to -the way he speaks to them, we know the sort of -fate in store.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>If he says he remembers what it was to be a boy -himself, there is great hope, for, as Mitchell -pointed out, that means the Doctor has himself -committed the crime in far-off times when he was -young; but if he doesn't say he remembers what it -was to be a boy himself, then the crime is probably -a crime he never committed; and these are the sort -he punishes worst.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, in the case of Tudor, he had never -committed Tudor's crime, and he himself said, when -ragging Tudor before punishment, that he had -never even heard of such a crime. Therefore the -consequences were bad for Tudor, and he was -flogged and his greatest treasure taken away from -him for ever.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was, no doubt, a very peculiar crime, and -Mitchell told Tudor that it was not so much the -crime itself as the destructive consequences, that -had put the Doctor into such a bate. But we -found out next term that the destructive -consequences had been sent home in a bill for Tudor's -father to pay, and they amounted to two pounds, -so Tudor caught it at home also.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, it was like this: Tudor came back for the -spring term with a remarkably interesting tool -called a glazier's diamond. He had saved up and -bought it with his own money, and it was valuable, -having in it a real diamond, the beauty of which -was that it could cut glass. It could also mark -glass for ever; and, after a good deal of practice, -on out-of-the-way panes of glass in secluded places, -Tudor had thoroughly learned the difficult art of -writing on glass. We were allowed to walk round -the kitchen garden sometimes upon Sunday -afternoons, and, occasionally, if a boy was seedy and -separated from the rest for a day or two, for fear -he had got something catching, such a boy was -allowed in the kitchen garden under the eye of -Harris, the kitchen gardener.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Tudor often got queer and threatened to -develop catching things, though he never really -did; but on the days when he threatened, he -generally escaped lessons and was allowed in the kitchen -garden. Needless to say, that this place was full -of opportunities for practising the art of writing -on glass, and, as nothing was easier than to escape -from the eye of Harris, he used these opportunities, -and wrote his name and mine and many others on -cucumber frames, and on the side of a hot-house -used for growing grapes, and also on the window -of a potting-shed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I am Pratt, and Tudor and me were in the -Lower Fourth. It was a class that Dr. Dunston, -unfortunately, took for history, and on those -occasions we went to his study for the lesson and stood -in a row, which extended from the window to the -front of Doctor Dunston's desk. He sat behind -the desk, and took the class from there. But there -was a great difference in Tudor and me, because I -was at the top of the Lower Fourth and he was at -the bottom. In the case of the Doctor's history -class, however, this was a great advantage for -Tudor, because the bottom of the class was by the -window, and the top was in front of the Doctor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Tudor actually got the great idea of -writing with his glazier's diamond on the Doctor's -window! I advised him not, but he disdained my -advice, and wrote in the left-hand top corner of the -bottom sheet of glass. He wrote very small, but -with great clearness, and it took him seven history -lessons to finish, because it was only at rare -moments he could do it. But the Doctor was now -and then called out of his study by Mrs. Dunston, -or somebody; and once he had to go and see the -mother of a new boy who had written home to say -he was being starved. It took ten minutes to calm -this mother down, and during that interval Tudor -finished his work. He had written the amusing words--</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">"BEYNON IS A LOUSE,"</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>and we were all rather pleased, except Beynon. -But he well deserved the insult, being a fearful -outsider and generally hated; and, in any case, he -couldn't hit back, for though he had been known -to sneak many a time and oft, yet it wasn't likely -he would sneak about a thing that showed him in -his true colours, like the writing on the Doctor's -study window.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, it was a triumph in a way, and everybody -heard of it, and it was a regular adventure to go -into the Doctor's study and see the insult to -Beynon, which, of course, would last forever, unless -somebody broke the window; and, in fact, Beynon -once told me, in a fit of rage, that he meant to -break the window and take the consequences. But -he hadn't the pluck, even when he got an excellent -chance to do so; and when, in despair, he tried -to bribe other chaps to break the window, he hadn't -enough money, so he failed in every way, and the -insult stood.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I must tell you the writing was very small, and -could only be seen by careful scrutiny. It was -absolutely safe from the Doctor, or, in fact, -anybody who didn't know it was there; and, naturally, -Tudor never felt the slightest fear that it would -ever be seen by the eyes of an enemy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When, therefore, it was discovered, and shown -to the Doctor, and all was lost, Tudor felt bitterly -surprised. It came out that a housemaid, who -disliked Beynon, found it when she was cleaning the -window, and she showed it to Milly Dunston, and -the hateful Milly, who loathed Tudor, because he -had once given her a cough lozenge of a deadly -kind, and made her suck it before she had found -out the truth, promptly told her mother about the -inscription, and her mother sneaked to the Doctor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Discovery might still have been avoided, but, -unfortunately, Tudor's glazier's diamond was well -known, because he had been reported by Brown -for scratching Brown's looking-glass over the -mantelpiece in Brown's study, when he thought Brown -was miles away, and Brown came in at the critical -moment. So Dunston knew only too well that -Tudor had a glazier's diamond, and, owing to the -laws of cause and effect, felt quite sure that Tudor -had done the fatal deed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Therefore Tudor suffered the full penalty, and -Dr. Dunston told the school that Tudor's -coarseness was only exceeded by his lawless insolence -and contempt for private property. That it should -have been done in his own study, during intervals -of respite in the history lesson, naturally had its -effect on the Doctor, and made it worse for Tudor. -The glazier's diamond had to be given up, and -Tudor was flogged; but being very apt to crock and -often bursting out coughing without any reason, -the Doctor did not flog Tudor to any great extent; -and it was not the flogging, but the loss of his -glazier's diamond that made Tudor so mad and -resolved him on his revenge.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, he had a very revengeful nature, as a -matter of fact, and if anybody scored on him, he was -never, as you may say, contented with life in -general until he had scored back. And he always did -so, and sometimes, though he might have to wait -for a term or even two, he was like the elephant -that a man stuck a pin into, who remembered it -and instantly killed the man when he met him -again twenty years later.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>To be revenged in an ordinary way is, of course, -easy; but to be revenged against the Doctor is far -from easy, and I reminded Tudor how hard it had -been even to revenge himself on Brown, when -Brown scored heavily off him; and if it was hard -to be revenged on a master like Brown, what would -it be to strike a blow at the Doctor?</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said it might or might not come off; but he -should be poor company for me, or anybody, until -he had had a try, and he developed his scheme of a -revenge, and thought of nothing else until the idea -was ready to be put into execution.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It's not so much a revenge, really, as simple -justice. He took my glazier's diamond, which was -the thing I valued most in the world, naturally; -and what I ought to do, if I could, Pratt, would -be to take from him the thing he values most in the -world."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's hidden from you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, it isn't: the thing that he values most in -the world is Mrs. Dunston."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you can't take her away from him."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I might. Some people would remove her by -death. Of course, I wouldn't do anything like -that. She's all right, though how she can live -with a grey and brutal beast like the Doctor, I -don't know--or anybody. But, of course, I can't -strike him there. I've merely decided to take -something he can't do without. He'll be able to -make it good in time, but not all in a minute; and -in the meanwhile he'll look a fool, besides being -useless to the world at large."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was dangerous, but interesting.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What could you take so important as all that, -without being spotted?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Swear not to tell anybody living."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I swore.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"His glasses!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a great thought, worthy of Tudor, and, -of course, without his glasses the Doctor would be -hopelessly done. He cannot read a line without -them, and when he takes a Greek class, strange to -say, he wears two pairs--his ordinary double-glasses, -against the naked eye, and a pair of -common spectacles, of very large size, on his nose -outside. In this elaborate way he reads Greek.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, I praised Tudor, but reminded him it was -stealing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I know: that's where the justice comes in. He -stole my glazier's diamond. Now I'm going to -steal his glasses."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Shall you ever give them back?" I asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I may, or I may not. The first thing is to -get them."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He takes them off to stretch his eyes -sometimes," I reminded Tudor.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, and for tea," said Tudor. "If he goes -in to Mrs. Dunston's room for a hasty cup of tea, -he generally leaves the glasses in the study on his -desk till he comes back to work."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Tudor got them. In a week from the day -he decided to take them, he had an opportunity. -Every day that week he had contrived to be around -when tea-time came on, and once Dr. Dunston -found him hanging about the passage, and told him -to be gone. But he was crowned with success, and -that same night in the playground, by the light of -my electric torch, Tudor showed me the solemn -sight of the double-eyeglasses of the Doctor -actually in his hand!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, he was fearfully excited about it, and -concealed the glasses for a few hours in his playbox. -Then, fearing there might be a hue and cry, and -everything stirred to its foundations, he took the -glasses out just before supper, and concealed them -in a crevice on the top of the playground wall, only -known to me and him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>That night he did not sleep for hours, and more -did I. I pictured the Doctor's terrible anger at -having to stop reading the news of the War, and -Tudor told me next morning that he had put the -Doctor out of action for all school purposes, as -well as private reading, and we might hope for at -least three days without him, as it would take fully -that time to manufacture such glasses as he wore.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But a bitter disappointment was in store for -Tudor, and when the usual moment came for -prayers in the chapel before breakfast, lo and -behold, Dr. Dunston sailed in with a pair of glasses -perched on his nose in the customary place! We -could hardly believe our eyes; then we quickly -perceived that Dunston evidently kept a reserve pair -of glasses for fear of accidents. And the accident -had happened, and he had fallen back upon the -reserve pair, no doubt in triumph.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Tudor said it was gall and wormwood to -be done like that, and even thought of stealing the -second pair of glasses; but then a strange and -sudden thing overtook Tudor, and the very next -Sunday a man came to preach at the chapel service -for a good cause; and the good cause was a -Medical Drug Fund for natives in the wilds of Africa. -These natives become Christians under steady -pressure, and after that always seem to be in need of -drugs, especially quinine; and Tudor, who, owing -to his lungs and one thing and another, had a good -experience of drugs, was deeply interested, and -gave sixpence to the Medical Drug Fund, and -showed a strong inclination to become a collector -for the Medical Drug Missionary. I had often -read of sermons altering a person's ideas, and -making him or her inclined to be different from that -moment onwards, but I never saw it actually -happen in real life before. Yet, in the case of Tudor, -that Medical Drug sermon, and the stirring -anecdotes of the savage tribes, tamed into well-behaved -invalids by the Missionary, had a wonderful effect -upon him, and it took the strange form of making -him rather down-hearted about Dr. Dunston's -glasses. Nothing had been said when they -disappeared, and no fuss was made at all; and I -advised him just to take them back quietly, when a -chance presented itself, and slip them under some -papers on the Doctor's desk, and leave the rest to time.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You'd better do it now, while this feeling about -being a collector for the Missionary is on you. It -will soon pass off, and then you won't want to give -them back."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"To show you how I did feel before hearing the -Drug Missionary, Pratt, I may tell you I had an -idea of taking the glasses home next holidays, and -buying a new glazier's diamond and writing on the -glasses the bitter words, 'THOU SHALT NOT -STEAL,' and then returning them to his desk next -term. But there are two very good reasons why I -shall not do that. One is this strong pro-missionary -feeling in me, and the other is that, if I -did, Dunston would guess to a dead certainty who -had done it, knowing only too well what I can do -in the matter of writing on glass."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"He would," I told Tudor. "So the sooner you -put them back unharmed, the better."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I shall," said Tudor, "and I'm going to return -them in a very peculiar way. I am going to hide -them in a certain place, and then I am going to -write an anonymous letter to Dunston, telling him -they are in that place."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, I thought nothing of this idea.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Why make it so beastly complicated? Besides, -anonymous letters are often traced by skilled -detectives, and if it was found you wrote it, where -are you then?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I have no fear about that, because the letter -will all be carefully printed; and my reason for -writing a letter at all is to explain to him that the -Unknown, who took his glasses away, is sorry."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What on earth does that matter to him?" I said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It matters to me," explained Tudor. "As you -know, that Drug Missionary made a great impression -upon me, and I have come to be very sick with -myself that I did this thing. Of course, I am not -nearly sick enough to give the show away and tell -Dunston I did it, but I am sick enough to say I -am sorry, and I want him to know it--anonymously."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, this was beyond me, and I told Tudor so. -He then said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Sometimes, Pratt, people don't pay quite -enough income tax; but presently there comes a -feeling over them that they have defrauded the -innocent and trustful Government, and their hearts -are softened--I dare say often by a missionary, -like mine was--and then they send five-pound -notes by great stealth to the Chancellor of the -Exchequer, and feel better. And their consciences -are quickly cured. But they take jolly good care -not to send their names, because they know that, -if they did, the Chancellor of the Exchequer would -go much further, and, far from rewarding them for -their conduct, would very likely want more still, -and never trust them again about their incomes, -and persecute them to their dying day. And it's -like that with me."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then I saw what he meant; and I also saw that -there may be a great danger in listening to -missionaries, and was exceedingly sorry that Tudor -had done so. I still advised him not to write to -the Doctor, and felt sure his conscience would be -just as comfortable if he didn't; but when Tudor -decides to carry out a project, he carries it out, and -he is generally very unpleasant till he has. -Accordingly, he dropped the Doctor's glasses into a -deep Indian jar which stood on the mantelpiece in -the study, and then, in great secret with me, he -wrote his letter. It happened he had just got a -new Latin Delectus, and at the end of this book -was a sheet of clean paper without a mark upon -it. We cut it out with a penknife, and took a -school envelope and two halfpenny stamps, and -wrote the letter and posted it to the Doctor on the -following day.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, the letter ran in these words, all printed, -so that there was no handwriting in it; and the -envelope, needless to say, was also printed in a -very dexterous and utterly misleading manner.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span class="medium">"DEAR SIR,</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I regret to have to confess that I stole -your eyeglasses in a bad moment. There was a -very good reason, but, all the same, I am sorry, -and also clearly know now that it was a very -wrong thing to do. It was a revenge, but it came -to nothing, because you had a pair in reserve. -I am glad you had. I prefer to be Unknown.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Your glasses are in a beautiful and rare -Indian jar at the left-hand corner of your mantel-piece, -and I hope you will forgive, because my eyes -have been opened by the visit of the Drug -Missionary to Merivale, and I am sorry.</span></p> -<p class="noindent pnext"><span>"I am, dear Sir, your well-wisher, -<br /> "THE UNKNOWN."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Well, this good and mysterious letter Tudor -posted, and the very next morning, curiously -enough, he entirely ceased to want to collect for -the Drug Missionary. In fact, from that moment -he fell back quite into his usual way of looking at -things, and, by the next evening, actually said he -was sorry he had given Dr. Dunston back his -glasses. But he was sorrier still three days later, -for then a very shattering event indeed happened -to Tudor. The Doctor sent for him, and he went -without the least fear, to find his anonymous -letter lying on the Doctor's desk.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I heard the whole amazing story afterwards. -The Doctor asked him first if he had written the -letter, and, being taken utterly unawares and -frightfully fluttered at the shock, almost before he -knew what he was doing, you may say, Tudor -confessed that he had.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the Doctor told him how vain it was for -any boy to seek to deceive him. He said: "You -see how swiftly your sin has found you out, Tudor."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Tudor admitted it had. He was now, of -course, prepared for the worst, yet, as he told me, -his chief feeling at that moment was not so much -terror as a frightful longing to know how the -Doctor had spotted him. Of course, he couldn't dare -to ask, so he merely admitted that his sin certainly -had found him out quicker than he expected; and -then, rather craftily, he said he was glad it had.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, the Doctor didn't believe this; but he was -not in a particularly severe mood that evening, -strange to say, and he told Tudor exactly what had -happened. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It may interest you to know, misguided boy, -that mentioning your anonymous letter to -Mr. Brown, and informing him that I had found my -lost glasses in the spot indicated, he evinced a -kindly concern, and even assured me that he would -probably have no great difficulty in discovering the -culprit. In the brief space of four-and-twenty -hours he did so. Perceiving that the paper on -which you wrote was obviously from a book of a -certain folio, his first care was to ascertain, by -comparisons of size, from what work it had come. -Perceiving also that the paper was extraordinarily -clean, he had no difficulty in concluding it was -extracted from a new book. He then discovered that -the page came from a Latin Delectus, and, on -further inquiry, was able to learn that three copies -of the work had recently been issued to members -of the Lower Fourth. Pursuing his investigations, -when the boys had retired to rest, he speedily -marked down the mutilated volume in your desk, -Tudor; and while I have already thanked him for -his zeal and penetration, I feel little doubt that a -time will come when, looking back on this dark -page in your history, you will thank him also."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Tudor didn't give his views about Brown, -but he said the glasses had been very much on his -mind, only he had not liked to return them without -saying he was bitterly sorry. He told me -afterwards that he was very nearly saying to Dr. Dunston -that some boys would have returned the glasses -without even an anonymous letter of regret; but -fortunately he did not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The Doctor then took him through the letter, -and invited him to throw light upon it. He was -chiefly interested in the part about revenge, and -he forced Tudor to explain that the revenge was -because Dr. Dunston had taken away his glazier's -diamond. Dr. Dunston then said that incident -was long ago closed, and that, in fact, after the -pane of glass in his study had been taken out and -a new one put in, he had dismissed the matter from -his mind. He seemed much surprised that Tudor -had not dismissed the matter from his mind also, -and he told him that the revengeful spirit always -came to grief in the long run. He then wound up -by saying:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You sign yourself 'The Unknown,' wretched -boy, but let this be a lesson to you that henceforth -you are neither unknown to your head master or -your God. For the rest, since you have the grace, -in this penitential though patronizing communication, -to express sincere regret at your conduct, -and also to record the fact that you are my -'Well-wisher,' though that is not at all the sort of -expression suitable from a Fourth Form scholar to his -head master--since, I say, I find these signs of -grace, I shall not inflict the extreme penalty on -this occasion. For the moment I have not -determined on my next step, and will thank you to wait -upon me this time to-morrow. Now you may go."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Tudor said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank you very much, sir," and went.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was a great deal cast down, and admitted, -for once, I was right. But though his feeling for -the Doctor was now, on the whole, one of patience -and thankfulness, his feeling for Brown was very -different, and when the wretched Brown grinned -at Tudor, and rotted him in class, and told the -whole story of how he had played the beastly -sleuth-hound on Tudor, and started calling him -"The Unknown," Tudor took it with dignified -silence, and from that instant started to plan the -greatest revenge of his life. He told me that it -might not be at Merivale he would be revenged, -but in the world at large, and if it was not until -Brown had grown old and bald-headed, the end -was bound to be just the same, and the rest of -Brown's life, however long it might last, would -undoubtedly be ruined by Tudor. And he also said -that he was jolly glad the missionary feeling had -left him, so that not a shadow of remorse might -come between him and Brown when "The Day" arrived.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, there was only one thing more rather -interesting about Tudor's revenge on the Doctor, and -that was Dr. Dunston's revenge on Tudor. Tudor -went to him again at the appointed time, and, after -a lot of jaw, the Doctor told Tudor that he must -now write out the complete article on "Optics," -in the </span><em class="italics">Encyclopædia Britannica</em><span>, including all the -algebra and everything. There were exactly ten -huge pages of this deadly stuff, and Tudor was -fairly frantic at first; but curious to relate, after -he had done one page, he found it quite interesting -in its way. Then it got more and more interesting, -as it went on, and Tudor finally decided that -there was no doubt, with his strong feeling for the -science of optics, that he ought to take it up as a -profession.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I asked him if he should take up microscopes or -telescopes, and he said telescopes certainly, -because that meant astronomy, and in time you might -rise to be Astronomer Royal of Greenwich, which was something.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is a great thing to know the stars and comets -by their names."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, Pratt, and another great advantage of -astronomy is that you may be out all night whenever -you choose, and nobody can say a word against you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So the extraordinary event came about that what -Dr. Dunston intended as a stiff imposition and -sharp punishment on Tudor, really worked in a -very different manner, and instead of crushing -Tudor and grinding him under the heel of -Dr. Dunston, so to speak, only put into Tudor the -splendid idea of mastering the heavens, and then, -some day, getting the perfect freedom by night of -an Astronomer Royal of Greenwich.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-turbot-s-aunt"><span class="large">THE "TURBOT'S" AUNT</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Of course, he was not really called "Turbot"; but -just after he came to Merivale, some ass in the -Fifth started the silly rag of calling everybody -after a fish, and pretty well every fish known to -science was rung in. In fact, they just about went -round. Sometimes the likeness was fairly clear -and the simile was good. For instance, being head -of the school, I was called "Salmon," which is the -king of fish; and as I am underhung and have -rather fierce eyes, there was a certain fitness in -calling me "Salmon." But after I had decided that -Abbott could not have his colours for "footer," -being lame, there was a feeling against me among -Abbott's friends, and Tracey called me "Tinned -Salmon," which was merely silly and not in the least -amusing. Nor was it amusing to call Maybrick -"Sardine" because he kept tins of this fish in his -desk; but "John Dory" was all right for Nicholas, -that being the ugliest fish in the sea, and Nicholas -the ugliest chap at Merivale. "Porpoise" was -true for Preston, who inclines to great fatness, and -blows after exertion in a very porpoise-like way; -but to call Briggs "Herring" because he was a -"doter on a bloater," as Tracey said, and to call -Tracey himself a "Torpedo Ray" because he was -always trying to give shocks, was footling without -being funny. On the other hand, it was neat to -call Pratt "Cuttlefish," because he was always -inky to the elbows; and as far as Bradwell was -concerned, the nickname of "Turbot" suited him -very well, owing to his eyes, which always goggled -if a master spoke to him, and also owing to his -mouth, which was all lips and rather one-sided -when he laughed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Kids, of course, have a poor sense of what is -really funny, owing to their general ignorance. -Yet they prefer their own feeble jokes to ours. A -joke that the Sixth sees in a moment is utterly lost -on them, while utter piffle, that no sane person -would smile at, makes them scream. We, for -instance, called Mitchell "Shark" because of his -well-known habits over money, but this did not -amuse the kids in the least; while they called -Forbes minimus "Whale" because he was the -smallest boy in the school; which naturally could -not cause anybody but an idiot the least amusement.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, Bradwell was far from interesting from a -mental point of view, having, as our master, -Mr. Fortescue, said, apparently outgrown his brains. -He was just at his seventeenth birthday when these -remarkable events happened; but at first glance, -and, in fact, until you talked to him, you would at -once have said he was grown up. He was in the -Lower Fifth, and it really looked as though a -master was in the Lower Fifth rather than a pupil. -And he was only there because it would have been -a burlesque to put him any lower, though in strict -justice, as far as his knowledge was concerned, he -would have been in his right place in the Upper -Third. But he had to stop in the Lower Fifth, -and even there was an absurd sight, being six feet -high and very large in every way, and having a -distinct moustache, which, owing to its being black, -could not be hidden. What a scissors could do he -did; but it was there, and grew by night, and could -not be concealed. He was a very finely made chap, -and had magnificent muscles; but such was his -awkwardness and stupidity that he couldn't even -use these muscles properly, and he was no earthly -good even in the gym. At games he failed utterly, -though he tried hard; but he was too slow even for -a full-back at "footer," and couldn't get down -quick enough for a "goaley"; in fact, rapid -movement seemed utterly beyond his power. At cricket -he was also an object of utter scorn, for despite his -hands, which were huge, he couldn't hold the -simplest catch; and despite his reach, which was that -of a six-foot chap, he had not the humblest idea of -timing a ball, or the vaguest notion of how to play -a stroke. In fact, such was his unworthiness that -he could only have played in the third eleven, and -as that was naturally composed of kids of eleven -and twelve, it would have been an outrage to see -him in it. Bradwell meant well, but he was rather -barred, not from dislike, but simply because he -had, as it were, grown up before his time, and had -a kid's mind in a man's body. In fact, he fell -between two stools, in a manner of speaking, because, -to the Sixth and the masters, he was a thing of -nought, while to those who had a mind like his -own, he was grown up and no use in any way.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I was the only one at Merivale who understood -his weird case, and when he first came, I let him -fag for me; but he was awful as a fag, and such -was his over-anxiety to please and shine that he -never did either. I had, in fact, to chuck him. At -sixteen years and eleven months of age he led -rather a lonely life; but when the War broke out, -he said he was very interested in it, and asked me -sometimes if I would be so good as to explain -military matters to him. Which I did in the -simplest words possible, as anything like regular -military terms would have been far beyond him. On -hearing that aeroplanes have great difficulty in -descending by night, he invented a scheme of stretching -strong nets with a big mesh on poles ten feet -above the ground, spread over half a mile of -landing-place, to catch them. This showed mind in a -way; but he never appeared to have any real -martial instinct, and when once a girl in Merivale -handed him a white feather, he stopped and took -off his hat and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I quite understand what you mean, but I shan't -be seventeen for a fortnight yet."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This the girl naturally refused to believe, and -the "Turbot" came to me and complained about it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As a matter of fact, I rather backed up the girl--not -for giving "Turbot" a white feather, which -is a vulgar and silly thing to give anybody, because -you never know, as the great case of Fortescue -showed--but because she didn't believe "Turbot" -when he said he was only just about to be -seventeen. To look at him, he might easily have been -married, which shows appearances are very -deceptive. But, anyway, I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You can't blame a flapper for thinking you are -of age to join the Army, Bradwell. Anybody -would think so, and lots of younger-looking chaps -than you have said they were eighteen, and been -passed without a murmur, though their birth -certificates would have given them away. But -anybody six feet high and with a clearly visible black -moustache, and with your muscles, would pass the -authorities, and you may bet that many have."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He merely goggled, and said no doubt I was right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I must tell you that "Turbot" had no father or -mother, and, in fact, nobody but a single, oldish -aunt who lived at Plymouth. But he had a -guardian, who sent him to Merivale when his -family unfortunately died; and at first he stopped at -Merivale in the holidays. But once the aunt took -him for a fortnight at Easter; and she appeared to -like him, for, after that, he always went to her. -The guardian did not, however, like "Turbot," and -"Turbot" would have been quite content to stop -at Merivale in the holidays, rather than spend his -time with the guardian, who had no friendly -feeling for him. In fact, you may say that "Turbot" -was a duty rather than a pleasure to the guardian.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then, at the beginning of the autumn term, in -the first year of the War, "Turbot's" aunt wrote -to Dr. Dunston and asked if "Turbot" might -spend Saturday till Monday with her, because it -was going to be his birthday; and the Doctor gave -permission.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So "Turbot" went, and naturally was not -missed in any way till Monday morning. Then at -roll-call before chapel, the "Turbot's" well-known -bleat was not heard, and it was soon perceived that -he'd done something very much out of the common.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Nothing had been heard from his aunt, -apparently, and so a telegram was dispatched to her, -and, as no reply came to it, Dr. Dunston began to -worry. He then sent off a telegram to the -guardian, and the excitement decidedly thickened. -After dinner the Doctor sent for me, as head boy, -and told me that the guardian had heard nothing -whatever about "Turbot."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I may tell you, Travers," he said, "though -there is no reason to repeat it, that Bradwell is not -</span><em class="italics">persona grata</em><span> with the gentleman who stands to -him </span><em class="italics">in loco parentis</em><span>. That is unfortunate for -Bradwell, because he may lack friends in the -future, being a boy without any mental ability, or -that charm and power to please we occasionally -find in the stupid lad. His guardian, however, -evinces no uneasiness at the disappearance of -Bradwell, and my knowledge of human nature -inclines me to doubt if the individual in question -will much care whether Bradwell returns or does -not. I speak, of course, in confidence. But he is -a busy man, and has a large family of his own, -with its concomitant anxieties. He sends his own -boys to Harrow, and it is not for us to judge his -motives in so doing, or whether they are guided by -disinterested desire for the future welfare of an -obscure attorney's sons, or influenced by that spirit -of snobbishness from which few Englishmen are -entirely free.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, I shall ask you this afternoon, Travers, -to undertake a little mission which I can safely -trust to you. We are, as you know, very short-handed, -and to spare a master is almost impossible. -I will therefore invite you to go as far as Plymouth, -call at No. 10 Mutley Plain Villas, and ask to see -Miss Mason, the maternal aunt of Bradwell, and -his sole surviving relative. It is a somewhat -delicate duty, and you must regard it as a compliment -that I seek your aid. Here is half a crown for -your return railway fare. You will alight at -Mutley Station, and should catch the five-thirty train -back to Merivale. The lady has not responded to -my telegram, hence my desire, before putting the -matter in the hands of the police, to learn all she -may be able to tell us. Present my card, and she -will see you at once if at home. If not, wait until -she returns."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was rather a responsible thing, and a great -compliment to me. So I went, first putting on my -best clothes and a new pair of gloves. Arrived -at Plymouth, I got out at Mutley, and easily found -Mutley Plain Villas, which were only a quarter of -a mile from the railway. The house was small, -but very neat in appearance, and the door-knocker, -which was of highly polished brass, gave a loud -tapping sound into the hall. There was no sign of -the "Turbot."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A servant of considerable age answered my -knock, and when I asked her if Miss Mason was -at home, she replied that she was. She told me -to walk in, which I did. I then gave her Dr. Dunston's -card, and was shown into a neat drawing-room, -which had a piano in it, and a pile of khaki -wool on a sofa. There was also an illustrated -newspaper in the room, and I sat down on a chair -and read the illustrated newspaper until Miss -Mason arrived.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Presently she came, and proved younger than -her servant, though still not in reality young. She -was unlike Bradwell in every way. Even her eyes -did not resemble his, being black and small--you -might say beady--and her mouth had thin lips, -which revealed lustrous teeth, which might have -been false ones, though, on the other hand, they -might not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Curiously enough," she said, "I was just -writing a letter to Dr. Dunston when you arrived. -Now I can send a message by you instead. Are -you his son?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, Miss Mason," I answered. "I am Travers, -the head boy at Merivale School."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"How interesting!" she said. "And what are -you going to do in the world, Travers?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I leave next term--this is my last term, in -fact--and I am then going to try for Woolwich," -I said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That means the Army, of course," she answered. -"I hope you will pass well."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I then thanked her for this kind wish, and said -I hoped so, too.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Owing to the War," I explained, "there is no -very great difficulty in passing into Woolwich at -present, and I hope to get on quickly, and take my -place in the fighting-line before the War is over."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She approved of this.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Quite right," she said. "I never wanted to be -a man before the War, but I do now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She spoke in a very martial and sporting way, -and rang for tea.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This was good of its kind, and when I had eaten -pretty well everything, after handing her each dish -first, she asked me if I would like an egg, and, of -course, I said I would. Then she ordered the old -servant to boil two eggs; and the old servant did -so, and I ate them both. We talked of the War, -and, funnily enough, I quite forgot all about the -"Turbot" till a clock chimed on the mantelshelf -the hour of five.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This, as it were, reminded me of my mission.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I must soon go back to the station," I said, "so -perhaps you will now be so kind as to tell me about -'Turbot.'"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And who is 'Turbot'?" she asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I had to explain that we were all called fish, -owing to a silly joke, and I also hoped that she -would not think that I meant anything rude to -her nephew by mentioning him in that way. She -was not in the least annoyed, and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ralph came to me on Saturday, and he left me -on Sunday morning."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Do you know where he has gone?" I asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And she said: "I haven't the slightest idea -where he has gone, Travers."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's very serious," I said, "because your -nephew's guardian hasn't the slightest idea, either."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Her lips tightened over her dazzling teeth at the -mention of the guardian, and I could see she didn't -like him. She spoke in a sneering sort of voice -and said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah! Really?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then, feeling there was nothing more to discuss, -I got up and cleared.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Let me know if anything transpires," she said, -and not happening to remember exactly what -"transpire" meant, I merely said that no doubt -the Doctor would tell her all that might happen -in the future about Bradwell.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She shook hands in a kindly manner and saw -me to the gate. And such was her friendly spirit -that she picked a small blue flower and gave it to -me to wear.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Put it in your buttonhole," she said, which I -did do until I was out of sight, and could chuck -it away without hurting her feelings.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The Doctor didn't seem to like what I had to -say, and evidently thought I hadn't got it right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"His aunt appears as callous as his guardian," -said the Doctor. "I am to understand that he -went out on Sunday morning and did not return, -and that Miss Mason has not the slightest idea -where he has gone to?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That's what she made me understand, sir," I said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I fail to credit it," answered the Doctor. Then -he dismissed me, rather slightingly, and sent for -Brown, who always does the detective business at -Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was a good deal of quiet excitement about -it, and, of course, we all thought "Turbot" would -be run to earth in a few hours, or days, at most. -But he never was; and though the police looked -into the matter, and hunted far and wide, they -never even got a clue, because apparently there -wasn't one to get. In fact, "Turbot" vanished off -the face of the earth as far as Merivale was -concerned; and it was a nine days' wonder, as the -saying is, and no light was ever thrown upon it till -long afterwards. The aunt was cross-examined by -the police; but she knew nothing, and cared less, as -Brown said, for he cross-examined her also. All -she could say was that "Turbot" had gone out -early, and not come home in time for church, as -she naturally expected a boy brought up at -Merivale to do. Which was one in the eye for -Merivale. As for the guardian, he offered a reward of -ten pounds for the recovery of "Turbot," and no -more, which showed the market value of "Turbot" -in that guardian's opinion.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The only person who really worried was the -Doctor, and I believe he didn't leave a stone -unturned to rout up "Turbot." But all in vain. -He had entirely disappeared, and being so ordinary -in appearance, without any distinguishing marks, -he simply "vanished into the void," as Tracey said, -and we sold his cricket bat at auction, and one or -two other things of slight value which we found in -his school locker. But a portrait of his mother we -did not sell, and I gave it to the Doctor, who sent -it to the aunt, who was much obliged for it, and -wrote to old Dunston with great thanks, and said -she would keep it until the happy day when -"Turbot" turned up out of the void again. And that, -I believe, made the Doctor more suspicious than -ever, for he always believed that Miss Mason knew -more about the "Turbot" than she pretended. In -fact, he told Mr. Fortescue that she was prevaricating, -and Fortescue said it looked as though she -might be. As a matter of fact, Fortescue had his -own theory about "Turbot," and though he never -told anybody what it was till afterwards, then he -told everybody because he proved to be perfectly right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This was that Fortescue, who wrote such -splendid War poetry, but was prevented from enlisting -unfortunately by an illness of the aorta, which is -part of the heart, and, when enlarged, is fearfully -dangerous. But while he taught at Merivale, his -soul was entirely in the War, and in his spare time -he did good work, chiefly at the Red Cross -Hospital in the town, where fifty wounded men were -always on hand. When they got well, they went and -others came; and sometimes, when the War slacked -off, the numbers sank to thirty-two, or even thirty, -and then, when it burst out more fiercely, they -quickly rose to fifty again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Milly Dunston was one of the workers there, but -only for swank and the sake of the uniform. I -believe she peeled onions and shelled peas, and cut -up meat and so on in the kitchen; and sometimes -she was allowed to go and see the wounded; but I -never heard that they cared much for her until -they knew she worked in the kitchen. Then they -took interest in her, because she could tell them -what they were going to have for supper that night, -and what they were going to have for dinner next -day, which, naturally, are things very important -to the mind of a wounded hero.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Fortescue was well liked at the hospital, -and took many cigarettes there, also books suited -to the Tommies, and he got to be so popular that -there was a fair fight for him; and if he favoured -one ward, and didn't go into the other for half the -time, the other ward got vexed about it, for Tommy -has a jealous nature in some ways, though so -heroic in the field.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then there came rather a bad cot case called -Ted Marmaduke, and as soon as he arrived, he sent -a special message to the school for me and for -Fortescue; and Fortescue went to see him.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, this happened long after I had left -Merivale, and it was, in fact, my brother who wrote -to me about it; for after six months at Woolwich, -owing to luck and the War, and so on, I got a -commission in the Royal Engineers, and went to -France. And there I heard from Travers minor -about the chap who wanted to see Fortescue. He -had been wounded in the cheek and also in the leg, -and his face was almost hidden; but his eyes were -all right, and what was Fortescue's amazement to -see the eyes of Ted Marmaduke goggle in the old -familiar way the moment he came to his bedside. -For there lay the "Turbot," and fearing that he -was going to die, he had determined to tell -somebody the truth, and not die anonymously, so to -speak. And when he found he was at Merivale, of -all places, naturally he thought of Fortescue and -me. But I was gone to do my bit, so Fortescue -went, and heard the true story of the wily "Turbot."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He could only tell it in pieces, because it hurt -him awfully to talk, and, in fact, he wasn't -allowed to talk much at a time. But what happened -was this. He had gone to the aunt for his -birthday, and told her in secret that he hated Merivale -worse than ever, and was ashamed to be there, with -a moustache and everything; and she was a very -martial and fine woman, and entirely agreed with -him. She had told him that he was just the sort -they wanted in the Army, and that though he -could not distinguish himself at school, that was -nothing at such a time, and she felt positive that he -would jolly soon distinguish himself in the Army, -and do things at the Front that would make -Merivale fairly squirm to remember how it had treated -him. And such was the aunt's warlike instinct -that when he reminded her he was only seventeen, -she scorned him for remembering it. "Go to the -recruiting people," she said, "on your seventeenth -birthday, which is to-morrow, and when they ask -you how old you are, say you'll be eighteen on your -next birthday, which will be true." And he gladly -did so. But the aunt was fearfully crafty as well -as warlike, for when "Turbot" decided to go off -and enlist at Plymouth under his own name, she -pointed out that he would instantly be traced by -Dr. Dunston, and ignominiously dragged back out -of the Army to Merivale. So she advised him to -take a train to the North of England, and enlist up -there, which he did do. And he changed his name -to Ted Marmaduke, and the enlisting people in -the North never smelt a rat, and were quite -agreeable to take him when he said he would be eighteen -next birthday. And such was the fine strategy of -the aunt that she expressly made "Turbot" -promise not to write a line to her till he was under -orders for the Front. Therefore, when she was -asked if she knew where he was, she could honestly -say she didn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, long before he came back wounded, -he was entirely forgotten at Merivale, and when -Fortescue discovered him in our Red Cross -Hospital, and then confessed that he had always -believed this was what "Turbot" had really done, -the excitement became great, and many of the -chaps asked to be allowed to go and see him, and -some were allowed to do so.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But it was not till the "Turbot" had recovered, -and was going back to fight, that Dr. Dunston -forgave him; and he never forgave the aunt.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Yet that amazing aunt was more than a fine -strategist; she was a prophet also, for Fortescue -found out in the papers that Ted Marmaduke, of -the 3rd Yorkshires, was promoted a sergeant, and -had won the D.C.M. for splendid bravery in -Gallipoli, just as his aunt had always prophesied he -would. Of course, she came to see him at the -hospital, but she didn't come to Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When he got nearly right, the old "Turbot" -took tea at Merivale, and the Doctor let the past -bury the past, as they say, and made a speech, and -hoped that the chaps would follow "Turbot's" -lead in certain directions, though not in all. But -privately to the "Turbot" he said more than this. -In fact, he dug up the past again, and reminded -"Turbot" that he should not do evil that good -may come.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And "Turbot" quite saw this, and said he never -would again.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he went back to the wars once more, and -had good luck, I'm glad to say, and before he'd -been a soldier eighteen months, he got his -commission. For though such a mug at school, the -military instinct was in him all the time, and the -War naturally brought it out. When he became -Lieutenant Bradwell, his guardian tried to make -friends again; but he scorned him, as well he -might, though no doubt he will always be friendly -with his crafty aunt, for you may say that he owed -pretty well everything to her masterly mind.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="cornwallis-and-me-and-fate"><span class="large">CORNWALLIS AND ME AND FATE</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Dr. Dunston was always awfully great on the -classic idea of Fate. He made millions of efforts -to make us understand it, but failed. Blades said -he understood it, and so did Abbott, and, of course, -the Sixth said they did. But they always pretend -to understand everything, including the War. -Fate is the same as Greek tragedy, and a very -difficult subject indeed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyway, Cornwallis and me couldn't understand -Fate, or how it worked exactly, until that -far-famous whole holiday and the remarkable -adventure which made Cornwallis and me blaze out into -great fame, though only for a short while. As -long as it lasted, however, the fame was wonderful; -for the sudden, curious result of being somebody, -after you have for many years been nobody, not -only leaves its mark on your own character, but -quite changes the opinion of other people about -you, and also the way they behave to you. -Enemies slack off and even offer to become friends, -and people who have been your friends when you -were nobody, redouble in their affection, and even -get a sort of feeble fame themselves, owing to -being able to approach you as a matter of course and -not as a favour.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>All this happened to Cornwallis and me; and -though fame is said to have a very bad effect on -some people, and make them get above themselves, -like the Germans and Austrians, for instance, in -our case, though dazzling in its way, the fame died -out almost as quickly as it sprang up. In fact, -to show you what people are, and what envy may -do, just as Cornwallis and me began to sink back -into our usual obscurity in the Lower Third, some -beasts, such as Pegram and the master, Brown, said -in public that the whole excitement was a mild -attack of hysteria and utter footle, and that neither -Cornwallis nor me had done anything but make -little asses of ourselves, and that it was all pure -luck and not fame at all.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But, anyway, the adventure did this for -Cornwallis and also for me--it explained what the -Doctor really meant by Fate; and afterwards we -were always tremendously keen about Fate, and -spoke well of it, though before, it had, if anything, -rather bored us, because, at the age of ten, your -fate is generally so far off. Until the great -adventure I can't honestly say I had seen Fate -bothering about Cornwallis, and he had never seen it -bothering in the least about me; but afterwards, -having, as you may say, got thoroughly to -understand its ways, and its special interest in us on a -very important occasion--in fact, what you might -call a matter of life and death--we always felt a -sharp interest in it, and often noticed little marks -of Fate at work both in school and out--sometimes -for us and sometimes for other people. Not, -of course, always for us, because, as Cornwallis -said, and I agreed, we weren't everybody, and when -it came to prizes and getting into "elevens," and -other advantages, Fate undoubtedly favoured -various chaps far more than us. But as I pointed out -to Cornwallis, after saving our lives in a very -ingenious and unexpected way, no doubt it had done -enough for us for some years, and intended to -give us a rest. We both saw the fairness of this, -and did not complain in the least at our rather bad -failures in the Lower Third afterwards. But, -curiously enough, Dr. Dunston, though so well up in -Greek tragedy and the ways of Fate as a rule, -missed this, and said our reports were a scandal -and a source of the utmost discomfort to him, and -far from showing our gratitude to Fate as we ought -to have shown it after the terrible affair of "Foster Day."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Foster Day" was an important day at Merivale. -It arose from the mists of antiquity, as they -say, because among the first pupils old Dunston -ever had, when he started Merivale, was a chap -called Foster. He was very rich, and his father -lived at Daleham, on the sea coast, and had a -mansion and thousands of acres of land running down -to the sea. This Foster seems to have liked the -Doctor, and been a great success at Merivale; and -his rich father evidently liked the Doctor, too, and -so, when young Foster had the bad luck to fall for -his country in the Boer War, the rich father Foster -built a beautiful and precious chapel to his -memory at Daleham, and had his soldier son carved -in pure marble and put in the chapel. It was -known as a memorial chapel, and simply couldn't -be beaten in its way. And, not content with -doing this, the rich father arranged with Dunston -that fifty boys from Merivale should once every -year come to a service in this chapel, and, after the -service was over, be entertained in his grounds and -on the sea-shore with games and luscious foods. -The Doctor fell in with this excellent plan readily, -and now for some years, on the seventh day of July, -which was the day the splendid young soldier -Foster had fallen, fifty chaps from Merivale drove -over in brakes to Daleham and attended the -memorial service, and sang a hymn, and afterwards -enjoyed themselves in the spacious grounds and on -the beach. For though not actually belonging to -the rich old Foster, the beach finished off his -estates, and so he had a special sort of right to it, -and had built a boat-house, where he kept a steam -launch and other vessels.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The day came round as usual, and, by rather -exceptional luck, Cornwallis and myself got into -the fifty, for nobody was barred, and it was always -arranged that a certain number of chaps from the -lower school should join the giddy throng. So -we went in white flannels and the school blazers, -little knowing what lay before us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The day was slightly clouded by the fact that -Brown was the master who took us, for Brown -loves to display his power before strangers, and -make us look as small as possible in order that he -may shine. But the great Mr. Foster--though -what he had done that was great I don't know--saw -through Brown with ease, and told him we -must do what we liked, and have a good time in -every way--not, in fact, hampered by Brown.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>After the service in the chapel, where some good -singing was done by us, and a clergyman preached -a rather longish sermon on duty and so on, the -solemn business of the day began, and we had an -ample meal. When I tell you that there were -enough raspberries and cream for all, I need add -no more. If all those raspberries had been put in -one pile, we should have had "no small part of a -mountain," as Virgil so truly says.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The great thing after dinner was to go and bathe -and ramble on the shore. This was the time that -Brown could be most easily escaped, and as he had -to keep his attention on the chaps who went -swimming, those who did not were able to enjoy -themselves in various interesting ways.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The tide was out, and, by a little dodging -behind rocks, Cornwallis and me, who did not bathe, -were able gradually, as it were, to slip out of the -danger zone; which we did do. A magnificent and -interesting beach spread out before us, and we -decided to explore it. So we retreated fast for some -distance till a cliff jutted out and entirely -concealed us, and then we went slower and explored -as we went. Cornwallis had a watch, and as there -was no serious work on hand till tea at five o'clock, -we had more than two hours.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We did some natural history, and found small -pools full of marine wonders, such as sea anemones -and blenny fish, which in skilled hands can be made -as tame as white mice, and can live out of the sea -between tides. We also collected shells, and, much -to my amusement, I collected one shell which I -thought was empty, until I felt a gentle crawling -in my trousers pocket, and discovered that a hermit -crab lived in the shell, and was frantically trying -to escape. This, of course, I allowed him to do, -and no doubt he is puzzling to this day about what -happened to upset his usual life.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>On we went, and then the beach got narrower, -and I said it was natural, but Cornwallis thought -not. He thought the tide was coming in, which -would account for the increasing narrowness of -the beach.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"In that case, Cornwallis, we had better go back, -because you can see, by the marks on the cliffs, that -the tide will come here in large quantities, and, -in fact, the water will be jolly deep."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And Cornwallis said he supposed it would. The -time also was getting on, and we found it was -past four. But, of course, we meant getting back -fast, with an occasional run, and had allowed half -the time to get back that we allowed to go out.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We were just turning, after going a few hundred -yards farther, when a most interesting thing -appeared. The cliffs hung over rather, and were -made of red sandstone, and very steep; but ahead -of us was a ledge of rock half-way up the cliff, and -on it a mysterious little house made of bits of old -boat and painted with tar. It was extraordinary -to see such a thing in such a lonely spot, and -Cornwallis, who is rather suspicious, owing to the -War and being a Boy Scout, wondered if it was -all right. Because, if you are once a Boy Scout, -as Travers minor pointed out, you are always a -Boy Scout, and though you may not be scouting in -a professional sort of way, yet, if anything peculiar -happens, or you get a chance of doing good to the -country, you must instantly look into it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So Cornwallis decided to go and examine this -queer shed, and I went with him. The door was -open, but we saw no signs of life. It was a solid -building made of heavy timbers, and there was a -padlock on the door. Inside was a pleasant smell -of tar and cobbler's wax and fish. It seemed to -belong to a mariner of some sort; but, on the -other hand, what mariner could possibly want to -make his house in such a weird spot? There was -no bed or washing basin or chest of drawers, to -show that the stranger lived here, but there were -many interesting things, including a lobster-pot, -a telescope, and a large lantern of the sort used on -board ship.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I saw nothing peculiarly suspicious, but Cornwallis -did. From the first he took rather a serious -view of it, and when he found a green tin full of -petrol, his face went white, and he said it was Fate.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What the dickens do you mean, Cornwallis?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I mean, Towler, that this is the hiding-place of -a German spy. There's a telescope with which he -picks up periscopes, and there's a lamp, with which -he signals to the submarines by night, and there's -the petrol he takes to them to replenish their tanks. -And this shows the Doctor was right: you can get -Fate in real life as well as Greek tragedies."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"But the prawn-nets and fishing-lines and corks -and paint, and so on?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"These things are merely blinds to distract the -eye from the others."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, what are you going to do about it?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I am going straight back, and after tea, or -even before, I shall tell the great Mr. Foster there -is a pro-German traitor under his cliff, and offer -to show him the way to the spot."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll help," I said. "But the thing is to be -careful, and surprise the spy at his work."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Just as I said these words, curiously enough, -the spy surprised us, and we found ourselves in a -position that wanted enormous presence of mind. -Suddenly we heard the sound of heavy feet -outside, and as there was only one way up to the hut, -it was clear we could not escape without being -seen. And if seen, of course, our object was lost, -for the spy would make a bolt of it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The question was where to hide, and, by the best -possible luck, there was a chance to do so. A big -tarpaulin hung on a nail on the side of the hut, -and it was of great size, and came nearly to the -ground, while at its feet was a seaman's box. -Owing to the fortunate smallness of Cornwallis and -me, there was ample room for concealment behind -the tarpaulin, and our feet were hidden by the -box. So we got behind it and hardly dared to -breathe, though, just before the traitor came in, -Cornwallis had time to whisper to me:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If he's come for his tarpaulin coat, we're done -for, and he'll very likely kill us!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I whispered to him:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Be hopeful. Fate may be on our side, and -it's not the weather for a tarpaulin coat, anyway."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the spy came in, and though I was not able -to see him, Cornwallis, by a lucky chance, got a -buttonhole of the coat level with his eye, and saw -the fearful spectacle of the spy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was a dreadful object, with wickedness fairly -stamped on him, so Cornwallis said afterwards. -He was a big man with humpbacked shoulders and -a cocoanut-like head, far too small for his body -and legs. He was grey, and had a shaggy beard -and a wide mouth that showed his teeth. These -were broken and black. His nose was flat and -small, and his eyes rolled in his head as he looked -round his hut. They were black and ferocious to -a most savage extent. He kept making a snorting -sound, which was his manner of breathing. He -wore dirty white trousers and a jersey, and upon -his feet were dirty canvas shoes. He had no hat, -and he didn't look the sort of person that Fate -would be interested in. But you never know. He -suspected nothing, and had not seen us come in, -which was the great fear in my mind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The creature did not stop long, yet long enough -to give himself away for ever as a spy, for he took -one of the green tins of petrol, and then, saying -some English swear words to himself of the worst -kind, went out and slammed the door behind him. -We nearly shouted with joy, but a moment later -our joy was changed into the most terrible sorrow, -because the spy fastened the door behind him. We -heard a chain rattle and a padlock click, so there -we were, entirely at the mercy of a creature -evidently quite dead to pity in every way. This was, -of course, Fate again, as Cornwallis pointed out.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was a window about a foot square high up -in the roof of the hut, and when the spy shut the -door and locked us in, everything became dark -excepting for the light from this narrow window. -Therefore, when we were sure our enemy had gone, -and there was not a sound outside, I got on to a -table, and Cornwallis climbed on my back, from -which he was able to look out through the window. -Luckily it faced the sea, and Cornwallis reported -that the sea had come a great deal nearer, and -that the spy was only about fifty yards off. He -stood on a sort of pier of rocks, and was pulling in -a rope to which was attached a small motor-boat.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then naturally I wanted to get on Cornwallis's -shoulders, but he told me not to move for a -moment. Then he said that the spy had got into the -boat and was evidently going to sea. And then he -said he had gone.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I next climbed on to Cornwallis, and so proved -the truth of his words, for I distinctly saw the -motor-boat speed off with the spy in it. I also saw -that the tide had come in, and soon it was actually -beating against the rocks twenty-five feet or so below us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>When the motor-boat had disappeared in a westerly -direction, Cornwallis and me got down off the -table and considered what we ought to do.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The first thing is to make every possible effort -to escape at any cost," I said. But he said that he -had already thought of that, and felt pretty -certain it was beyond our power. The window seemed -the only hopeful place; but it was made not to -open, and the glass was thick, and Cornwallis said -we couldn't have got through the hole, even if -there had been no glass. But I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is well known, Cornwallis, that if a man -can get his head through a hole, he can get his -body through."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It isn't well known at all. You might because -you have got a head like a tadpole, but I couldn't."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said I was sure I had read it somewhere, but, -anyway, it didn't matter. We examined the hut -thoroughly, and found it was only too well and -solidly made. We were utter prisoners, in fact, -and, owing to the spy not knowing it, might very -likely be left to die of starvation. He might even -have gone to join a submarine, and never come back.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Perhaps he does know we are here all the -time," said Cornwallis. "Perhaps he spotted us, -and pretended he didn't. In that case he may have -locked us in deliberately to starve us, not caring -to waste a shot on us."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This thought depressed us a good deal, and -presently the sun sank and the light began to fade, and -a seagull that settled outside on the roof uttered -a melancholy and doleful squawk.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, we were far from despairing yet, and -Cornwallis made a cheerful remark, and reminded -me that if we had eaten our last meal on earth, at -any rate it was a jolly good one.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"There may be food concealed here, for that -matter. We'd better have a good hunt, and look -into every hole and corner before it is dark."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This we did without success. There were many -strange things there, including pieces of wreckage, -a bit of an old ship's steering-wheel, and a brass -bell with a ship's name on it; but there was -nothing eatable excepting some fish to bait a lobster-pot; -and the fish hadn't been caught yesterday, and -we had by no means reached the stage of exhaustion -in which we could regard it as food.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Cornwallis said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As a matter of fact, our great enemy will be -thirst. I am frightfully thirsty already, for that -matter."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"So am I, now you mention it."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As the light died away, we held a sort of a -council, and tried to decide what exactly was our -duty--to England firstly, and to ourselves secondly. -We talked a good deal, until our voices grew queer -to ourselves, and it all came back to the same -simple fact--our duty was to get out, and we couldn't.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then I had the best idea that had yet come to us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"As we can't get out, we must try and get -somebody in the outer world to let us out. The only -question is, shall we attract anybody but the spy -if we raise an alarm?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Cornwallis said of course that was the question; -but it didn't matter, because we couldn't raise an alarm.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"If we howl steadily together once every sixty -seconds by your watch, like a minute-gun at sea, -somebody is bound to hear sooner or later."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Far from it, Towler. We shall only tire -ourselves out, and get hungry, as well as thirsty, for -no good. Our voices wouldn't go any distance -through these solid walls, and, even if they did, we -are evidently in a frightfully lonely and secluded -place, miles and miles from civilization, else the -spy wouldn't have chosen it for his operations."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I admitted this, but we did try a yell or two. -The result was feeble, and I myself said that if any -belated traveller heard it, he would only murmur -a prayer and cross himself, and hurry on, like they -do in books. Then Cornwallis decided to break the -window. He didn't know why exactly, but he felt -he wanted to be up and doing in a sort of way. -Besides, it was beastly fuggy in the spy's den; so -we broke the window with a boat-hook, and I got -on the shoulders of Cornwallis and had a good yell -through it; but no answer came.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then another idea struck me, and it was -undoubtedly this idea that saved the situation. We -got the old ship's bell and hung it up on a rope as -near the window as possible, and hammered it with -the boat-hook, taking turns of five minutes each.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This created an immense volume of sound, and -though, of course, it was more--far more--likely -to bring the spy back than anybody else, we had -now reached a pitch of despair, and would have -even welcomed the spy in a sort of way. -Cornwallis from time to time still worried about our -duty, but I had long passed that, for it was nine -o'clock. So at last I told him to shut up and hit -the bell harder.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was now quite dark, and from time to time -heavy drops of rain fell through the window. The -sea-going lamp would have been very useful now, -for we might have signalled with it; but though -there was an oil-lamp in it, we had no matches, and -it was therefore useless.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then, in a lull, when I was handing over the -boat-hook to Cornwallis, whose turn it was to hammer -the bell, we distinctly heard the stealthy sound of -the motor-boat returning, and Cornwallis, -mounting my shoulders, and nearly breaking my neck in -his excitement, reported a red light below.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he heard several harsh voices.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Cornwallis said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We are now probably done for, Towler. The -spy has evidently been to a submarine, and he's -heard the bell, and you can pretty easily guess -what submarine Germans will do to us. In fact, -our Fate is right bang off."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Surely they wouldn't kill two kids like us?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Killing kids is their chief sport. They can't -be too young--from babies upward."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So it looked pretty putrid in every way, and it -wouldn't be true, and it wouldn't be believed, if -I said Cornwallis and me weren't in the funk of -our lives.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But the awful moments didn't last long, for, -almost before the padlock was undone, what should -we hear but the well known yelp of Brown!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Our first thought was that the crew of a German -submarine had also got Brown; but even in our -present condition we felt that was too mad. All -the same, when he actually appeared, with two -other men and the spy, he looked such a ghastly -object, and was so white and wild, that it seemed -clear that he was in a mess of some kind.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>What he said when we both appeared in the -lantern light was:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank God!"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For the first and last time in his life he was -apparently glad to see us. But after this expression -of joy, he instantly became beastly, and, in fact, -so much so, that a man behind him, who did not -fear him, told him not to talk so roughly to us at -such a moment.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This man turned out to be no less a man than -the great Mr. Foster himself, and he explained to -us that we had put everybody to frightful anxiety -and distress, and that, in fact, he had feared the -worst.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This much surprised us, and what surprised us -still more was Mr. Foster's attitude to the spy, for -he called him "Joe," and treated him in a most -friendly manner.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We all went back to the motor-boat, and while -it tore away to the landing-place under Mr. Foster's -beach, we told our story. During this narrative, -which was listened to very carefully, the man called -Joe made several remarks of a familiar nature, -which showed he was not in the least afraid of -anybody, and we found out later that he was an -old and trusted servant of Mr. Foster's, who lived -at Daleham, and who managed Mr. Foster's -motorboat, and caught lobsters for him and fish of many -kinds, and was, in fact, a sort of family friend of -long standing. It was admitted, however, that -Joe was very queer to look at, and also odd in his -ways. This arose entirely from his peculiar Fate, -because Fate had had a dash at him too, and when -a young man, he had once gone out fishing, and -returned to find that during his absence his wife had -run away for ever with another mariner. This -was such a surprise to him that it had quite turned -his head for a time, and, in fact, he had been odd -ever since.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Having told our tale, we ventured to ask why -everybody had feared the worst, and Mr. Foster -explained the situation, and showed what a -splendid and remarkable bit of work Fate had really -done for Cornwallis and me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What did you intend to do when you left Joe's hut?"</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And I said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We were going to tear back along the beach, -sir, and give the alarm, because we thought he -was a pro-German spy."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Joe gurgled at this, but did not condescend to -answer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And do you know what would have happened -in that case?" asked Mr. Foster.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You would have explained to us that we were -on a false scent, sir," said Cornwallis.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No, my child, I should not," answered Mr. -Foster, "for the very good reason that I should -never have seen either of you again alive. Nor -would anybody else. If you had started to go back -by the beach, you would both have been overtaken -by the tide and most certainly been drowned."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Crikey!" said Cornwallis under his breath to me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes," continued the good and great Mr. Foster, -"if Joe here, quite ignorant of the fact that you -were trespassing in his store shed, had not turned -the key upon you both, you would neither of you -be alive to tell your story now."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Somehow we never thought we were trespassing, -but doing our duty to England. It just shows how -different a thing looks from different points of view.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You ought to be very thankful," said Mr. Foster, -"and I hope this terrible experience will -leave its mark in your hearts, my boys. You have -been spared a sad and untimely death, and I trust -that the memory of this night will help you both to -justify your existence in time to come."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We said we trusted it would.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then Brown, of course, put in his oar.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"And if you had used your eyes, Towler and -Cornwallis, as I have tried so often to make you," -he squeaked, "you would have seen a notice on the -cliff warning people not to go beyond a certain -point, as the tides were very dangerous."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"We were studying the wonders of Nature, sir," -I answered, in rather a sublime tone of voice, -because this was no time for sitting on Cornwallis -and me. And just then the motor-boat came to -shore, and it was found that we could catch the last -train back to Daleham. So we caught it. Of -course, all the other chaps had gone back in the -brakes ages ago.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Foster blessed us, before the train started, -in a very affectionate and gentlemanly way; but -Brown did not bless us on the journey back. In -fact, he said that he should advise the Doctor to -flog us. We preserved a dignified silence. He -couldn't send a telegram on in advance, as the -office was shut, and therefore, when we arrived at -Merivale, it was rather triumphant in a way, and -the news of our safe return created a great -sensation. In the excitement, food for us was -overlooked entirely, until Cornwallis told the matron -we had had nothing to eat since dinner. Food was -then provided. The Doctor said very little until -the following day, and then he told the whole story -to the school after morning prayers; and not until -we heard it from him did we realize what a good -yarn it really was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But nothing was done against us, much to -Brown's disappointment, and from the way he -hated Cornwallis and me afterwards, I believe he -got ragged in private for not keeping his eye on us.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We wrote a very sporting letter to Mr. Foster, -and said we should not forget his great kindness as -long as we lived; and we also wrote home and -scared up ten pounds for Joe, because he had locked -us up and saved our lives. It was an enormous lot -of money, and far beyond what we expected. My -father sent five, and the mother of Cornwallis also -sent five; and Cornwallis truly said it showed that -my father and his mother mast think much more -highly of our lives than they had ever led us to believe.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In fact, so excited was the mother of Cornwallis -about it that she couldn't wait till the end of the -term, but had to come and see him and kiss him, -and realize that he was still all there. But my -father waited till the end of the term for me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He is rather a hard sort of man, compared to -such a man as Mr. Foster, for instance; and when -I did go home and explained all about what Fate -had done, he said he hoped that I would not give -Fate cause to regret it--at any rate, during the -summer holidays.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="for-the-red-cross"><span class="large">FOR THE RED CROSS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Of course, being for the Red Cross, we were jolly -well paid for all our trouble by knowing what a -tremendous lift we had given the Red Cross in -general; but somehow we felt that, if anything, -too much was made of the wonderful result, and -too little of us, who had done it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Because, you see, if a chap in the trenches covers -himself with glory, as they so often do, it is noted -down to the chap's credit, and he gets a D.C.M., or -D.S.O., or a V.C.; but in our case, as Tracey rather -neatly put it, we weren't so much as mentioned in -dispatches, and the bitter irony was that Merivale -fairly rung with the fame of Dr. Dunston, whereas -the truth was that we did everything, and Dunston, -far from urging us on, really threw cold water on -the whole show, and, up to the last moment, feared -we were in for a grisly failure, instead of a most -extraordinary success.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was a good deal of difference of opinion -afterwards as to who sprang the idea, and, on the -whole, I don't think any one chap could take the -credit. It was too big a thing for one chap's mind, -and you might say nearly everybody in the Fifth -and Sixth had a hand in it. It grew and grew till -it reached the stage of asking Dr. Dunston; and -after he had conferred with Brown and Fortescue -and old Peacock, he reluctantly agreed; and then -it grew by leaps and bounds till it became the -wonderful thing it was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The idea was to give an entertainment for the -funds of the Red Cross, and Blades believed it -would be a better and finer entertainment if we did -it absolutely on our own, without any help from -the masters whatever. A few faint-hearted chaps -thought not; but they were overruled, for, as -Briggs pointed out, there was no entertaining -power whatever in the masters. The only one who -would have been any good in that way was Hutchings, -who sang remarkably well in a bass voice of -great depth; but he was at the War, and none of -the others had any gift that could lure a paying -audience. No doubt they might have tried, but, -as Tracey said, you couldn't ask people to pay good -money just for the doubtful pleasure of seeing them -trying. So it was settled that as there was a great -deal of mixed power of amusing an audience in the -school, we could do it without any assistance; and -Fortescue supported this, and advised the Doctor -that we should be given a free hand; but Peacock, -of all people, doubted, and Brown, who wanted to -shine himself in some way, thought we ought to -have him and Fortescue to give a backbone to the -show. What he was prepared to do, by way of -backbone, we didn't ask; what he did do, when the -time came, was to show the people to their seats, -and his evening-dress, which we had not seen -before, was worth all the money, if not more.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Anyway, Fortescue got the Doctor to let us do -everything without help, and the end justified the -means, as Saunders very truly said, though at one -time it rather looked as if it might not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was announced in public that the scholars of -Merivale were going to give an entertainment for -the Red Cross before Christmas breaking up, and, -when all was decided, we had two clear months for -the preparations. Owing to the War and one thing -and another, we didn't have much football that -term, and the show got to be the great idea in -everybody's mind--so much so, in fact, that owing -to an utter breakdown in geography in the Lower -Fourth, there was a threat from headquarters that -the whole thing would be knocked on the head if -the work was going to suffer.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So we gave the Lower Fourth some advice on -the subject, and told them not one of them should -do anything if they didn't buck up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, the great problem was, who should be -in the show and who should not. That was a -question for the Sixth, and it proved a very difficult -problem, because there were immense stores of -talent at Merivale, and some of the chaps best fitted -to entertain a paying audience by their great gifts -absolutely refused to appear; whereas, strangely -enough, others, quite useless in every way, were -death on appearing. We even had one or two -letters from mothers, written to "The Committee of -the Merivale Concert," fairly grovelling to us to -let their sons do something. Of course, we ignored -these, though Pegram, with his usual strategy, -advised us to give young Tudor a show of some sort, -because his mother and father were worth many -thousands, and would doubtless buy dozens of front -seats if Tudor did anything publicly.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So in one item of the performance, which was -a scene from "The Merchant of Venice," we let -Tudor and certain other kids come on in the crowd. -We also let Cornwallis and Towler sing a duet--not -so much because it was a thing to pay to hear, -but because of their great adventure on Foster Day, -when by a fluke they weren't drowned, and so -possessed a passing interest in Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The programme needed a fearful lot of thought, -and we altered it many times. The first -programme would have taken about three days to get -through, and Tracey said, as it wasn't a Wagner -Cycle, we'd better try and cram the show into three -hours; and Briggs said there would be encores, -which must be allowed for; and I remembered that -there must be an interval, because on these -occasions women want something to drink about -half-way through, and men want both to drink and -smoke also. And if they are prevented from doing -these things, they often turn against the performance, -and the last state of that show is worse than the first.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I am Thwaites, by the way, and, like Percy -minor, I hope that I may go on the stage some day, -being much inclined to do so. But his father is a -professional actor, and so he has a better chance -than me, mine being a Government official in -London, who never goes to the theatre, always being too -tired to do anything after his day's work. I -recite when I get the chance, and have already acted -several times; I also write poems. I did not push -myself forward in the least, it was agreed, by a sort -of general understanding, except in the mind of -Percy minor, that I should play Shylock in the -trial scene from "The Merchant of Venice." And -Williams, who is pretty, and had many a time been -rotted for his girl-like eyes and eyelashes, now -found that his hour had come, for he was going -to play Portia; and we hoped his beautiful -appearance might carry him through, though at -rehearsal it was only too apparent his acting would not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The first part of the show was to end with the -Shakespearean impersonation; but this was not all, -though, of course, the cream of the night. We had -in the second half an original satire in one act -written by Tracey, and entitled "The White -Feather." This would be the concluding item, and -as we finally decided that we would have twelve -separate items, that left ten to find.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There were some obvious things, like Percy -minimus, who had a ripping voice, and was accustomed -to singing both in and out of chapel. So, knowing -he was considered class, we put him down for a -song; and the school glee singers were also rather -well thought of, and we gave them two items. This -only left seven performances, and after we had -subtracted most of the chaps who were going to -perform in the plays, there was still an immense -amount of mixed ability to choose from.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, Rice had to be in it, though, in his -usual sporting way, he said he could do nothing. -But as he was the best boxer in the school, and -almost as good as a professional "fly" weight, we -felt no show would be complete without him, and -it was arranged he should box three exhibition -rounds with Bassett.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As Briggs said, with people who pay money, you -must give everybody something they will like; and -though the people who would come to see -Shakespeare acted might not be at all the same people -who would come to see Rice hammer Bassett, yet -there it was--we didn't want to disappoint -anybody, because the great thing with a successful -entertainment is to make everybody thoroughly feel -that they have had their money's worth, as Mitchell -pointed out. He was going to take the money, and -sit in the box and give out the tickets. He could -have done other things, but chose that himself, -having great natural ability in everything of a -financial sort. And as all the tickets were numbered, -we felt it was safe. Besides, for the Red Cross, -nobody would let his financial ability lead him -astray, so to speak.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Percy minor, the son of the famous professional -actor, also wished to play Shylock, but was put -down for a comic song--an art in which he -excelled. And Tracey wanted to write it for him -and make it topical; but we knew Tracey's satire, -and felt it would not do. Besides, he'd already -written a whole play, as it was, and was -performing the chief part in it, so we let Percy minor -choose his own song, and he chose one of Albert -Chevalier's, which blended pathos and humour in -a very wonderful way, but was difficult. This left -five items, and it seemed almost a shame to leave -out so much talent; but we finally decided on -Abbott for a conjuring entertainment--him being a -flyer at that art--and on Nicholas, who has the -great gift of lightning calculation, though, strange -to say, a fool in everything else. He stands with his -back to a blackboard, and can divide or add in his -head; and if you read him out ten figures, and then -ten more to subtract from them, he can do it in a -moment. And no doubt he will make his living -in this way, though it is a science that is utterly -useless in the world at large.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Allowing for Cornwallis and Towler, there were -only two items left, and I had the good luck to -remember there was, so far, nothing about the Red -Cross in the whole show; so we asked Fortescue if -he would allow a recitation of his famous poem -on that subject, and he consented if he was allowed -to coach the boy who did it. We gladly agreed to -this, and Forrester was decided upon for the boy, -though he would rather have given his well known -and remarkable imitations of natural sounds, such -as a cock crowing, or a bottle of ginger beer -popping, or a man with a cold in his head, or a distant -military band. It was decided, therefore, that if -Forrester got an encore, he might give the -imitations; but he didn't, so they were unfortunately -lost, though many a paying audience would have -liked them better than the recitation, splendid as -it was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For the last item of all it was almost -impossible to choose between about ten chaps, and at -last, after voting in secret several times, the Sixth -got it down to young Hastings, who could play the -fiddle in a manner seldom heard from a kid of nine -years old, and Weston, who was prepared to black -his face and play his banjo. Finally we decided -for Weston, because he was the eldest, and would -be leaving next term but one, whereas Hastings, -being only nine, was bound to have many future -chances of appearing with his fiddle.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So that was the programme, and even when -drawn out and written down, it was pretty -staggering, but when actually printed in regular -programme form, it was wonderful, and for my part -I didn't see how the big schoolroom would hold -half the people who were bound to come. In fact, -I suggested giving two, or even three, performances -on consecutive nights, but this was not approved of.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Being, as you may say, historical, I will here -insert the programme. The price was threepence, -or what you liked to give above that sum. Many -gave more; some got copies for nothing, owing to -the programme kids losing their heads about -change. It appeared in this way on pink paper, -faintly scented, and nothing was charged for the -scenting by the printers, so I suppose the scent -was their contribution to the Red Cross Fund.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">FOR THE RED CROSS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>On the seventeenth day of December next, by kind permission -of Dr. Dunston, the scholars of Merivale will give the -following entertainment in the Great Hall of Merivale School at -7.30 p.m. Doors open at seven o'clock. But reserved seats -may be booked, and a plan of the room seen at Messrs. Tomson's, -No. 4, High Street, Merivale.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">THE PROGRAMME</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>1. Song by Percy Minimus (son of the world-famous actor, -Thomas Percy).</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>2. Conjuring by Abbott (using live rabbits, live goldfish, etc.).</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>3. Three Rounds of Exhibition Boxing by Rice (Fly-weight -Champion) and Bassett. N.B.--The rounds will be of -two minutes' duration.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>4. Glee Singing by the School Glee Singers.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>5. Recitation, "The Cross of Red." Words (published in -"The Times" newspaper) by Mr. Fortescue of Merivale -School. Reciter, Forrester.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>6. The Trial Scene from "The Merchant of Venice," by -William Shakespeare. Dramatis Personæ as follows:</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Shylock. Thwaites. -<br />The Duke. Pegram. -<br />Antonio. Saunders. -<br />Bassanio. Preston. -<br />Gratiano. Percy Minor. -<br />Salerio. Travers Minor. -<br />Nerissa. Percy Minimus. -<br />Portia. Williams.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">Magnificoes. -<br />Tudor, Forbes Minimus, Hastings, and five others. -<br />Scene: Venice. A Court of Justice.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span>N.B.--The scene will conclude with the exit of Shylock.</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics">An Interval of Ten Minutes.</em></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">PART II</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>7. Glee Singing by the School Glee Singers.</span></p> -<p class="center pnext"><span>("The Three Chafers," by request.)</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>8. Comic Song. Percy Minor (son of the great actor, Thomas -Percy).</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>9. Lightning calculation. Nicholas (introduced by Thwaites. -Must be seen to be believed).</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>10. Coon Interlude with Banjo. Weston.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>11. Duet. Towler and Cornwallis (both nearly drowned last -summer on Foster Day).</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>12. A Satire in One Act by Tracey, entitled "The White -Feather."</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Dramatis Personæ.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Captain Harold Vansittart Maltravers, V.C. Tracey. -<br />General Sir Henry Champernowne, K.C.B. Blades. -<br />A Policeman. Briggs. -<br />Miss Sophia Flapperkin. Williams.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>Scene: Trafalgar Square. Time: The Present.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics">GOD SAVE THE KING.</em><span> -<br />Booking Office: Mitchell.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>Well, that was the programme, and, seeing the -front seats were only half a crown, there didn't -seem much chance of anybody not getting their -money's worth.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I could say a great deal about the rehearsals, -which were very difficult, owing to the question of -scenery; and finally, after many suggestions, we -decided merely to have wings, and leave the rest -to the imagination, because we couldn't get within -miles of a court in Venice, and Trafalgar Square -was equally out of the question. And Percy minor -said that really classy stage managers, like -Granville Barker, relied less and less on scenery, and -that the very highest art was to go back to -Elizabethan times, and just stick up what the scene was -on a curtain; and if people didn't like it, they -could do the other thing. So we went back to -Elizabethan times. But we had a professional -man from Plymouth to make us up for Shakespeare, -and he did it professionally, and we were -rather dazzled ourselves at what we looked like -on the night. Seen close, you're awful, but, of -course, it's all right from the front.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The dresses for Shakespeare were also professional, -and we had help, for without the matron -and Nelly Dunston and Minnie Dunston, and a -maid or two, the dresses would not have fitted, and -so caused derision. But they did well, and we -looked very realistic, though my Jewish gaberdine -was too long to the last. However, nobody -noticed, though naturally they did notice when -Antonio's beard carried away, and it spoilt the -pathos, because some fools laughed, instead of -taking no notice, as any decent chaps would have.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, of course, the excitement was to see how -the half-crown seats went off at Tomson's, and -they weren't gone in a moment, by any means. -You could book both half-crowners and eighteen-pennies, -which came next, and people put off their -booking a good deal. But when the programme -was out, the booking improved, and five people -booked in one day. It was rather interesting to -hear who had booked, and Mitchell was allowed to -go to the shop every morning after school to know -how things were going. Sir Neville Carew, from -the Manor House, took five half-crown seats in the -front row, and Dr. Dunston himself took the next -five. This news, we greeted with mingled feelings, -yet, as Mitchell pointed out, he might have had -them for nothing, which was true. The masters -all took half-crown seats dotted about the big hall, -and when Briggs asked Brown why they had done -this, instead of sitting together, Brown said: -"To applaud your efforts, Briggs, and suggest a -consensus of opinion if we can." As a matter of -fact, we didn't want their wretched applause when -the time came, for we got plenty without it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The most sensational person to take a half-crown -seat was old Black, from next door. He -had always been our greatest enemy, and hated us, -and he never gave anything back that went over -his wall, and made us pay instantly if we did any -damage, or broke a pane of glass, or anything; -yet there he was. He sat in the second row, and -not a muscle moved from first to last, and he never -clapped once. Yet, extraordinary to say, the most -remarkable thing about the whole performance had -to do with old Black, though the amazing affair -didn't come out till next morning.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mitchell calculated that, if every seat was taken, -we should clear thirty-four pounds odd, and he -rather hoped the programmes would bring it up -to thirty-six. From that, however, had to be -subtracted the cost of the dresses and the professional -man from Plymouth, and also the cost of the -programmes and the piano man. It looked as if we -should be good for a clear thirty pounds; but only -if the house was full.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Happy to relate, it was, and many people who -did not book at all, came and took their tickets at -the door, and the one bob part was packed. In -fact, a good many stood all through, including -those interested in Merivale in humble ways, such -as the tuck-woman and the ground-man and the -drill-sergeant, and many other such-like people. -When, therefore, after the interval for refreshments, -Dr. Dunston got up and said we had taken -thirty-seven pounds four shillings, there was great -cheering, and most did not hide their surprise.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A reporter came from </span><em class="italics">The Merivale Trumpet</em><span> -and Mitchell saw that he had plenty of -refreshments for nothing, because this is expected by -reporters, and much depends on it. He ate and -drank well, so we naturally hoped for a column or -two about the show; but the cur wrote a most -feeble account in three inches of type, and gave all -the praise to Dr. Dunston, so I need not repeat what he said.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The truth was as follows, and I shall take the -programme by its items, and be perfectly fair -about it. I won't pretend everything went off as -well as we hoped, and some of the chaps didn't -come off at all; but, on the other hand, many did, -and the failures also got a friendly greeting. And -even if you make a person laugh quite differently -from what you expected, it's better than if he -doesn't laugh at all. Besides, we had to remember -that everybody had paid solid cash, so it wasn't -like a free show, where people have got to be -pleased, or pretend to be. Because, when you -have paid your money, you are free to display your -feelings; and if people in a paying audience are -such utter bounders as to laugh in the wrong -places, there's no law against it, and the -performers must jolly well stick it as best they can.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, of course, Percy minimus was a certainty, -and the start was excellent. In fact, some people -wanted to encore him; but this did not happen--though -he would have sung again--because the -live rabbit which Abbott had borrowed from -Bellamy for his illusions broke loose and dashed on -to the platform. So when the audience expected -Percy back, instead there appeared a large, -lop-eared white rabbit with a brown behind. It looked, -of course, as if Abbott had already begun to -conjure, and, in fact, had turned Percy into a -lop-eared rabbit. Anyway, the people were so much -interested that they stopped encoring Percy, and -seemed inclined to encore the bewildered rabbit. -Then Abbott appeared and caught the rabbit, -which had rather ruined his show by appearing in -this way; and Vernon and Montgomery, who were -his assistants, brought on the magic table, with -various objects arranged upon it for the tricks. -Unfortunately, Abbott was very nervous, which is -a most dangerous thing for a conjuror to be, and -tricks which he would have done to perfection -during school hours, or in the home circle, so to say, -got fairly mucked up before the paying audience. -He put on an appearance of great ease, but he -couldn't manage his voice, and he forgot his -"patter," and he also forgot how to palm, and kept -dropping secret things at awkward moments, and -making footling jokes to hide his confusion. The -people were frightfully kind and patient, and that -made him worse. I believe, if they had hissed, it -might have bucked him up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He forced a card, as he thought, on old Black, -and after messing about with a pistol and an -orange and a silk handkerchief and some unseen -contrivances, he made the ace of spades appear -in a bouquet of imitation flowers, and then -challenged old Black to show his card, which he did -do, and it unfortunately turned out to be the four -of hearts. This fairly broke Abbott, and when it -came to bringing the lop-eared rabbit out of a -borrowed hat, every soul in that paying audience -saw him put it in first. It is true he tried to -conceal it in a mass of other things under a huge -flag, supposed to be the Union Jack; but the -rabbit, who had never been conjured with before, and -hated it, kicked violently and defied concealment, -so to say. However, Abbott got a lot of trick -flowers and vegetables and about half a mile of -yellow ribbon into the hat at the same time as the -rabbit, and the audience had not seen him do this, -so they were slightly mystified, and applauded in -a weary sort of way. He finished up by bringing -a bowl of goldfish out of a dice with white spots -on it, and, though there was no great deception, it -passed off safely for the goldfish. Then Abbott -bowed and cleared out; and, thanks to Fortescue, -who is fond of Abbott, and said "Bravo!" and -tried to work up some applause, there was no -absolute blank when he had done. But Montgomery -and Vernon, who had to clear up the debris -afterwards, got one of the best laughs of the night, -because they became fearfully entangled in the -yellow ribbon, and thoughtless people were a good -deal amused to see it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then came Rice and Bassett in shorts, with a -new pair of boxing gloves. A chair was put in -each corner of the stage, and the seconds stood by -the chairs. It was all pure science, but only a -few chaps at the back appreciated them, and -when, as bad luck would have it, Rice tapped -Bassett's ruby in the first round, the women part of -the audience gurgled, and gave little yelps and -screams. It was nothing, but evidently appeared -strange and dreadful to them; so the Doctor -stopped the exhibition, and that item can be put -down as an utter failure. Perhaps it was a silly -thing to have arranged for a mixed audience; but -we had to think of Rice's feelings, and we also -knew that scores of countesses and duchesses go -to see Carpentier and Wells, and such like in real -fights, so we little dreamed anybody would squirm -at a harmless exhibition bout that wouldn't have -shaken a flea. But it was so, and consequently -the glee singers were a great relief, and while they -warbled their simple lays, the female part of the -audience recovered. Of course, we Thespians did -not see any of these things, as we were all making -up for the great Trial Scene.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Forrester got fair applause for Fortescue's fine -poem, but nothing special. As a matter of fact, -he forgot the third verse, which was the best, and -doubtless Fortescue felt very sick about it; but -he was powerless to do anything, though he never -much liked Forrester after.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then came the grand item, and it was good in -every way, and went very smoothly till just the -end. Of course, I can't say anything about my -rendition of Shylock--in fact, I didn't feel I had -gripped the audience in the least--but chaps told -me you might have heard a pin drop, and nobody -recognized me who knew me, and many of the -people in the audience thought it was one of the -masters, and not a boy at all. Pegram rather -overacted the Duke, which is a part that merely -wants stateliness, and no acting; but he would -act, and so forgot his words and hung us up once -or twice. In fact, Pegram was not good; but -Antonio, by Saunders, was a very thoughtful -performance, and so was Bassanio, by Preston. -Percy minor certainly came off as Gratiano, and -unfortunately he acted so jolly well that, in one -of his fearful scores off me, I forgot the dignified -pathos of Shylock, and laughed. It was a new -reading, in a way, but I didn't mean to laugh, and -it did a lot of harm, because after that the -audience wouldn't take me seriously, though before, I -believe, most of them had. It spoiled the illusion -of the scene. Portia, in the hands of Williams, -was most beautiful to see, but, from the art point -of view, awful. He got out his words, however, -and just at the end, before my exit, Minnie -Dunston, who had plotted it with him in secret, threw -him a bouquet of white chrysanthemums, and the -fool picked it up and said out loud: "Thank you, -Minnie!" Of course, after that, my exit went for -nothing, and when it was over, I punched his head -behind the scenes, while in front people were -laughing themselves silly. We got two calls, and -it shows what a force the drama really is, because -in the second half of the programme nobody cared -a button about such excellent things as Percy -minor's comic song; and though Towler and -Cornwallis were mildly applauded, it was only because -they happened to be still alive and not dead; and -the lightning calculations of Nicholas didn't even -tempt many men to come away from the -refreshments. I dare say many of them were very poor, -and had to make so many lightning calculations -themselves, owing to the War, that they weren't -specially interested in what Nicholas could do. -But for Tracey's play they all came, and such -applause was never heard within the walls of -Merivale; which shows that the drama still holds its -own. The idea of "The White Feather" was -certainly very original, and the dialogue very satirical. -As the girl with the white feathers, Williams -appeared again--in a dress lent him by Minnie -Dunston. This was too small in some places and -too big in others; but thanks to a huge female hat -and a wig of golden hair, Williams made a very -fair flapper, though inches too tall for such a -creature. He gave a feather to Captain Maltravers, -V.C., from Gallipoli, who was in mufti; and -Tracey, with an eyeglass--which he manages -fairly well--and a moustache, was frightfully -satirical at the flapper's expense, and every point -he made went with a roar. Then the flapper stuck -a white feather into the frock-coat of General Sir -Champernowne--also in mufti--and he was not -satirical, but got into a frightful rage, and gave -up the flapper to a policeman. She cried and -begged for pardon; and then the V.C. returned, -and saved her from the General and the -policeman, and promised to marry her after the War.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The house was fairly convulsed, and it was -really jolly true to nature--so much so that the -pianist almost forgot "God Save the King" when -all was over. For though a professional, and well -used to entertainments, he laughed as much as -anybody.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then the people "came like shadows and so -departed," in the words of the immortal Bard; and -not until next day did the final stupendous thing -happen with old Black. He looked over the -playground wall just before dinner, as he often did, -to make a beast of himself about something, and, -seeing me and Weston and another chap or two -kicking about a football, he said to me: "Are -you the boy Thwaites?" And I said I was.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then he said: "Come in, Thwaites; I want to -speak to you."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>My first thought was--what had I done? But -as I hadn't had any row with old Black for two -terms, my "withers were unwrung," and I went; -and he took me into his study, and handed me a -bit of pink paper with writing on it.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"What's this, sir?" I asked.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A cheque for the Red Cross," he answered. -"A cheque for twenty guineas, to add to the money -from your performance last night."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He was scowling all the time, mind you, and -looking as if he hated the show.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm sure it's very sporting of you, sir," I said -to old Black.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Not in the least," he replied. "I laughed more -last night than I have laughed for fifty years. -And I only paid half a crown--much too little -for what I got."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I was fearfully amazed.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Excuse me, sir," I said, "but I didn't see you -laugh once!'</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No," he answered, "and more did anyone else. -When I laugh, I laugh inside, boy, not outside. -So do most wise men. Now be off; and when you -next play Shylock, let me know. If I'm alive, I'll -come."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I went, and we cheered old Black from the -playground. He must have heard us, but he -didn't show up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Certainly, taking one thing with another, there -are many extraordinary people in the world, and -you may be surprised at any moment. No doubt -it was one of those cases of coming to scoff and -remaining to pray that you hear about, but don't -often actually see.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst" id="the-last-of-mitchell"><span class="large">THE LAST OF MITCHELL</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="pfirst"><span>There is a great deal of difference between being -expelled and "invited to find another sphere for -your activities." In fact, as my father said, if -Dr. Dunston had expelled me, he would certainly have -made a row about it, and very likely have written -to the newspapers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But old Dunston was a jolly sight too wily for -that. He wrote to my father when the event -happened, and said that circumstances had come to -his ears which made him think, etc., etc., that I -had better leave Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I am Mitchell, and my father is a financier, and -I may say that this profession embraces a great -many branches.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Sometimes, after dinner in holidays, he has -allowed me to stop and smoke a cigarette while he -talked to friends, and so I have got a gradual -inkling of what it means to be a financier; and, in -a way, this inkling was my downfall. Not that I -felt it a downfall really to be hoofed out of -Merivale; for it was rather a potty sort of show, and -I should have gone to a far more swagger place if -my father had been flusher just at the time when -I had to go somewhere, owing to a trifling bother -at another school.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But I went to Merivale, and just because I tried -to take advantage of what my father had said -about finance and apply it to school life, the -difficulties arose.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I gathered off and on from my father, when he -was in a talkative frame of mind, that one of the -great arts of a financier is to do deals between -other people.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>For instance, you have something to sell, and my -father knows it. And he routs about and leaves -no stone unturned, as they say, until he finds -somebody who wants to buy just what you want to sell. -Then, having found you a customer, my father -arranges all the details of the business, and -everybody is satisfied, and my father, for all his time -and trouble, gets richly rewarded.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then, again, another fine branch of the financier's -art is the floating of public companies. To -float a company requires great skill and nerve.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The first thing is to find a place a long way off, -far beyond the reach of intending shareholders, -in fact. Then you discover this far-off country is -extraordinarily rich in minerals, or india-rubber, -or manure, or some other useful material which -everybody wants. You send out a mineral or -manure expert to the far-off country, and he is -delighted to find these things in enormous -quantities, and sees at a glance that, if properly -managed, they will produce dividends of very likely -a hundred per cent. for the first year, and much -more afterwards.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Then my father, or whoever it might be, is glad, -and he goes about to other skilful men who -understand companies, and they collect together and -make a board. The more famous financiers there -are upon this board the better the public likes it; -and so the company is floated, and the public is -invited to put in money.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This the public is only too thankful to do, -because, of course, the thing promises so well; and -then the shares are quoted on the Stock Exchange, -and the papers are suddenly full of the company -some morning, and the board sits and has a champagne -luncheon and arranges its salaries and so on.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, the people who have found that -happy, far-away land, flowing with minerals and -manure and such like, are richly rewarded, as they -deserve to be; and sometimes they take it in money -and sometimes in shares, and sometimes in both.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And all may or may not go well; but the financier, -whose business it is to do these things and -float the company, takes care to come out of it all -right in any case--otherwise it is no good being -a financier.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was once a very fine company floated by -my father and several of his scientific friends, for -extracting gold from salt water.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was based on thoroughly sound principles; -because science has proved that there is so much -gold in every ton of salt water; and, of course, if -it is there, it can be extracted by modern -inventions. So my father and others of even greater -renown were filled with the idea of promoting a -company to do this.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was a brilliant and successful company in a -way, but did not last long for some reason.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They started at a place near Margate, I think, -with pumps and tubes to draw in the water, and -machinery and professional chemists to get the -gold out of it, and a staff of twenty skilled men, -who understood the complicated mechanism. And -they easily got enough gold from somewhere to -make the prospectus, and also enough to make a -brooch for the manager's wife; and no doubt they -would have got much more in course of time, but -something failed--the water in the English -Channel was a bit off, or some other natural -cause--and my father said it would have been far better -for everybody concerned if the works had been -put up in the Isle of Skye, or perhaps in Norway, -or in the West Indies, or the Fiji Islands, where -conditions might have been better suited to success.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But gold was none the less made for my father -and one or two others, "though not from the -sea," as my father said thoughtfully when -discussing the winding up of the affair.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There is another and even higher branch of the -financier's art--the loftiest of all in fact. This -consists in floating loans for hard-up monarchs, -and it is absolutely the biggest thing the financier -does. It wants great skill and delicacy.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>You can also float loans for hard-up nations if -you understand how to do it, but there are -hundreds of financiers who never reach these dizzy -heights of the profession, just as there are -hundreds--you may say millions--of soldiers who -never get above being colonels, and thousands of -clergymen who fall short of becoming bishops.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>My father, of course, understood these high -branches of his profession, and once even went so -far as to be interested in a loan for a South -American Republic; but before the thing was matured, -one side of the Republic was destroyed by a -volcano and the other side by insurgents, who shot -the President and all his best friends; and these -events so shook investors in general that they -would not subscribe to that loan, though the -Republic, in its financial extremities, offered fabulous -rates of interest.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I mention my father at such great length just -to show the man he was and to explain my own -bent of mind, which lay in the same direction. He -said once, in a genial mood, that no man had ever -made more bricks without straw than he had. It -seemed to me a very dignified and original -profession, because you are on your own, so to say, and -you go out into the world single-handed, and by -simple force of a brilliant imagination and hard -work, win to yourself an honourable position. -You may even get knighted or baroneted, if your -financial genius is crowned with sufficient success -to give away a few tons of money to a hospital, or -the "party chest," whatever that is.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So, understanding all these things fairly well, -it was natural that I took the line I did in the -affair of Protheroe minimus and young Mayne. -And, whatever the Doctor thought, my father -didn't see any objection to the operation; and, of -course, his opinion was the only one I cared about.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was like this.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Young Mayne, though very poor, had a most -amazing knack of prize-winning. He was in a -class where all the chaps were a year older than -him, and yet he always beat them with the greatest -ease. He was good all round, and thought -nothing of raking in prizes term after term.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In fact, it seemed a thousand pities, seeing that -he was very poor and the only son of a lawyer's -clerk, that his great prize-winning powers were -not yielding a better return. For, not to put too -fine a point upon it, as they say, the prizes at -Merivale were piffle of the deepest dye, and of no money -value worth mentioning. Dr. Dunston went on -getting the same books term after term, and simply -unreadable slush was all you could call them.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The few things that were good were all back -numbers, like "Robinson Crusoe"--all right in -themselves, but nobody wants to read them twice; -and then there were school stories that would -have made angels weep, especially one called -"St. Winifred's," in which boys behaved like girls -and blushed if anybody said something dashing. -Then there were books about birds and animals -and insects, and for the Lower School the Doctor -used to sink to "Peter Parley" and the "Peep of -Day," and such-like absolute mess of a bygone age.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>These things were all bound in blue leather and -had a gold owl stamped upon them, which was the -badge of Merivale.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I believe the owl was supposed to be the bird of -Athena, and stood for wisdom, or some such rot. -Anyhow, it wasn't a bad idea in its way, for a -more owlish sort of school than Merivale I never -was at.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And young Mayne got more of these books than -anybody; but to him they were as grass, and he -thought nothing of them. Whereas Protheroe -minimus had never won a prize in his life, and -wanted one fearfully--not for itself, but for the -valuable effect it would have on his mother.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>She was a widow and loved Protheroe minimus -best of her three sons. The others had taken -prizes and were fair fliers at school; but Protheroe -min. was useless except at running. So, woman-like, -just because he couldn't get a prize anyhow, -his mother was set on his doing so, and promised -him rare rewards if he would only work extra -hard, or be extra good, or extra something, and so -scare up a blue book with a gold owl at any cost.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, if you have a financial mind, you will see -at a glance that here was a possible opportunity. -At least, so it looked to me. Because on the one -hand was young Mayne, always fearfully hard up -and always getting prizes at the end of each term -as a matter of course; while on the other hand was -Protheroe min., never hard up but never a scholastic -success, so to say, from the beginning of the -term to the end--and, of course, never even -within sight of a prize of any sort.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Here it seemed to me was the whole problem -of supply and demand in a nutshell; and the -financier instinct cried out in me, as it were, that I -ought to be up and doing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So I went to young Mayne and said that I -thought it was a frightful pity all his great skill -was being chucked away, and bringing no return -more important than the mournful things that he -won as prizes. And he said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A time will come, Mitchell."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And then I told him that a time had come.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"I know you sell your prizes for a few bob at -home, and that you think nothing of them," I said. -"But I had a bit of a yarn with that kid -Protheroe yesterday, and it seems that what is -nothing to you would be a perfect godsend to him. -You may not believe it, but his mother, who is a -bit dotty on him, has promised him five pounds if he -will bring home a prize."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Five pounds!" said Mayne. "The best prize -old Dun ever gave wasn't worth five bob."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"She doesn't want to sell it--she wants to keep -it for the honour and glory of Protheroe min.," I -explained. "And the idea in my mind in bringing -you chaps together for your mutual advantage -was, firstly, that you should let Protheroe have one -of your prizes to take home in triumph to his -mother; and, secondly, that he should give you a -document swearing to let you have two pounds of -his five pounds at the beginning of next term."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Mayne was much interested at this suggestion, -and, knowing that he must be a snip for at least -two prizes, if not three, at the end of the -summer term, he had no difficulty whatever in falling -in with my scheme.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>We were allowed to walk in the playing-fields -on Sunday after chapel before dinner, and then -Mayne and Protheroe minimus and myself -discussed the details.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Funnily enough, they were so full of it between -themselves that they did not exactly realize where -I came in; so I had to remind Protheroe that it -was I who had arranged the supply when I heard -about his demand; and I had also to remind him -he had certainly said that if anybody could put -him in the way of a prize, he would give that -person a clear pound at the beginning of next term.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I also had to remind Mayne that he had promised -me ten shillings on delivery of his two pounds.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>In fact, before the day was done I got them -both to sign documents; because, as I say, when -they once got together over it, they seemed rather -to forget me. So I explained to them that my -part was simply that of a financier, and that many -men made their whole living in that way, arranging -supplies for demands and bringing capitalists -together in a friendly spirit. But not for nothing.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They quite saw it, but thought I asked too much. -However, I was older than they were, and speedily -convinced them that I had not.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There was only one difficulty in the way after -this, and Protheroe came to me about it, and I -helped him over it free of charge. He said:</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"When I take home the prize, what shall I -say it's for? You know what my school reports -are like. There's never a loophole for a prize of -any kind."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"You might say good conduct," I suggested; -but Protheroe min. scorned the thought.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"That would give away the whole show at once," -he said. "Because even my mother wouldn't be -deceived. It's no good taking back a prize for -good conduct when the report will be sure to read -as usual--'No attempt at any improvement,' -which is how it always goes."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Everything I suggested, Protheroe scoffed at in -the same way, so I could see the prize would have -to be for something not mentioned at all in the -school report.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, you don't get book prizes for cricket, -or footer, or running, which--especially the -latter--were the only things that Protheroe -min. could have hoped honestly to get a prize for. But -I stuck to the problem, and had a very happy idea -three nights before the end of the term. I then -advised Protheroe to say the prize was for "calisthenics."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>There are no prizes for calisthenics at Merivale; -but it sounded rather a likely subject, especially -as he was a dab at it. And, anyway, he thought -it would satisfy his mother and be all right.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So that was settled, and it only remained for -Mayne to get his lawful prizes and hand over the -least important to Protheroe min.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It all went exceedingly well--at the start--and -young Mayne got the prizes and gave Protheroe -the second, which was for literature.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The thing was composed entirely of -poems--Longfellow, or Southey, or some such -blighter--and Protheroe said that his mother would fairly -revel to think that he had won it. He packed it -in his box after "breaking up," and we exchanged -our agreements; and it came out, when all was -over, that young Mayne was to have two pounds -out of Protheroe's five, and I was to have ten bob -from Mayne and a pound from Protheroe--thirty -shillings in all; and Protheroe would have the -prize and two pounds, not to mention other -pickings, which would doubtless be given to him -by his proud and grateful mother.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>You might have thought that nothing could go -wrong with a sound financial scheme of that sort. -I put any amount of time and thought into the -transaction, and as it was my first introduction -into the world of business, so to speak, and I stood -to net a clear thirty shillings, naturally I left no -stone unturned, as they say, to make it a brilliant -and successful affair.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And yet it all went to utter and hopeless smash, -though it was no fault of mine.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And you certainly couldn't blame Protheroe -min. or Mayne either. In fact, Protheroe must have -carried it off very well when he got home, and the -calisthenics went down all right; and Mayne, when -his people asked how it was that he hadn't got -more than one prize, was ingenious enough to say -that he'd suffered from hay fever all the term and -been too off colour to make his usual haul.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So everything would have been perfection but -for the idiotic and footling behaviour of Protheroe -min.'s mother.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This excitable and weak-minded woman was not -content with just quietly taking the prize and -putting it in a glass case with the prizes won in the -past by Protheroe's brothers. She must go fluttering -about telling his wretched relations what he'd -done; and, as if that was not enough, she got -altogether above herself and wrote to Dr. Dunston -about it. She said how glad and happy it had -made her, and that success in the gymnasium was -something to begin with, and that she hoped and -prayed that it would lead to better things, and -that they would live to be proud of Protheroe -minimus yet, and such-like truck!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Well, the result was a knock-down blow to us -all, as you may imagine, and the Doctor showed -himself both wily and beastly, as usual. For he -merely asked Protheroe's mother to send back the -prize at the beginning of the term, as he fancied -there might have been some mistake; but he begged -her not to mention the matter to Protheroe -minimus.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>So when Protheroe and Mayne and myself all -arrived again for the arduous toil of the winter -term, and Mayne and I were eager for the financial -disimbursements to begin, we heard the shattering -news that, at the last moment, Protheroe -hadn't got his fiver.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It was to have been given to him on the day -that he came back to school; but instead his -mother had merely told him that she feared there -was a little mistake somewhere, and that she -couldn't give him his hard-earned cash till -Dr. Dunston had cleared the matter up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Needless to say that Dunston did clear it up -with all the brutality of which he was capable.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>As for myself, when the crash came, I hoped -it would happen to me as it often does to -professional financiers in real life, and that I should -escape, as it were. Not, of course, that I had done -anything that in fairness made it necessary for me -to escape, because to take advantage of supply and -demand is a natural law of self-preservation, and -everybody does it as a matter of course, not only -financiers.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But, much to my annoyance, the common-sense -view of the thing was not taken, and I found -myself "in the cart," as they say, with young Mayne -and Protheroe minimus.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The Doctor, on examining Protheroe's prize for -calisthenics, instantly perceived that it was in -reality young Mayne's prize for literature. But -evidently anything like strategy of this kind was -very distasteful to the Doctor. In fact, he took -a prejudiced view from the first, and as young -Mayne was only eleven and Protheroe min. merely -ten and a half, it instantly jumped to Dunston's -hateful and suspicious mind that somebody must -have helped them in what he called a "nefarious -project." And, by dint of some very unmanly -cross-questioning, he got my name out of Mayne.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I never blamed Mayne; in fact, I quite believed -him when he swore that it only slipped out under -the treacherous questions of the Doctor; but the -result was, of course, unsatisfactory in every way -for me.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I was immediately sent for, and had no course -open to me but to explain the whole nature of -financial operations to Dr. Dunston, and try to -make him see that I had simply fallen in with the -iron laws of supply and demand.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Needless to say, I failed, for he was in one of -his fiery and snorting conditions and above all -appeal to reason.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It was an ordinary sort of transaction, sir," I -said, "and I don't see that anybody was hurt by -it. In fact, everybody was pleased, including -Mrs. Protheroe."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>This made him simply foam at the mouth.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I had never been what you may call a great -success with him, and now to hear sound business -views from one still at the early age of sixteen, -fairly shook him up.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He ordered me to go back to my class, and when -I had gone, he flogged young Mayne and Protheroe -minimus. He then forgave them and told them to -go and sin no more; and the same day, doubtless -after the old fool had cooled down a bit, he wrote -to my father and put the case before him--though -not quite fairly--and said that, apparently, I had -no moral sense, and a lot of other insulting and -vulgar things. In conclusion, he asked my father -to remove me, that I might find another sphere -for my activities.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>And my father did.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He never took my view of the matter exactly; -but he certainly did not take Dr. Dunston's view -either. He seemed to be more amused than -anything, and was by no means in such a wax with -Dr. Dunston as I should have expected.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>He said that the scholastic point of view was -rather stuffy and lacked humour; and then he -explained that I had certainly not acted quite on the -straight, but had been a "deceitful and cunning -little bounder."</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I was a good deal hurt at this view, and when -he found a billet for me in the firm of -Messrs. Martin & Moss, Stock Brokers, I felt very glad -indeed to go into it and shake off the dust of school -from my feet, as they say.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>It is a good and a busy firm, and I have been -here a fortnight now. Ten days ago, happening -to pass Mr. Martin's door, and catching my name, -I naturally stood and listened and heard an old -clerk tell Mr. Martin that I was taking to the -work like a duck takes to water.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>I am writing this account of the business at -Merivale on sheets of the best correspondence -paper of Messrs. Martin & Moss!</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>They would not like it if they knew.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>But they won't know.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">THE END</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">Printed in the United States of America.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">* * * * * * * *</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">The following pages contain advertisements -<br />of Macmillan books by the same author</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY THE SAME AUTHOR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">Old Delabole</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY EDEN PHILLPOTTS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">Author of "Brunei's Tower," etc.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 12mo, $1.50</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>A critic in reviewing </span><em class="italics">Brunei's Tower</em><span> remarked that it would seem that -Eden Phillpotts was now doing the best work of his career. There was -sufficient argument for this contention in the novel then under consideration -and further demonstration of its truth is found in </span><em class="italics">Old Delabole</em><span>, -which, because of its cheerful and wise philosophy and its splendid feeling -for nature and man's relation to it, will perhaps ultimately take its place -as its author's best. The scene is laid in Cornwall. Delabole is a slate -mining town and the tale which Mr. Phillpotts tells against it as a -background, one in which a matter of honor or of conscience is the pivot, is -dramatic in situation and doubly interesting because of the moral problem -which it presents. Mr. Phillpotts's artistry and keen perception of those -motives which actuate conduct have never been better exhibited.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Another good story from an able hand."--</span><em class="italics">New York Sun</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A novel of large significance."--</span><em class="italics">Boston Herald</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A more effective piece of dramatic description could scarcely be put -into print."--</span><em class="italics">North American (Philadelphia)</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Besides being a good story, richly peopled, and brimful of human nature -in its finer aspects, the book is seasoned with quiet humor and a deal -of mellow wisdom."--</span><em class="italics">New York Times</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">Brunei's Tower</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="medium">BY EDEN PHILLPOTTS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 12mo, $1.50</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>The regeneration of a faulty character through association -with dignified, honest work and simple, sincere people is the -theme which Mr. Phillpotts has chosen for his latest novel. -Always an artist, he has, in this book, made what will perhaps -prove to be his most notable contribution to literature. -Humor and a genuine sympathetic understanding of the human -soul are reflected throughout it. The scene is largely laid in -a pottery, and the reader is introduced in the course of the -action to the various processes in the art. The central figure -is a lad who, having escaped from a reform school, has sought -shelter and work in the pottery. Under the influence of the -gentle, kindly folk of the community he comes in a measure -to realize himself.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It touches lightly upon love, upon the pathos of old age, upon -the workman's passion for his work, upon the artist's worship -of his art, upon an infinite variety of human ways and moods, -and it is filled to its depths with reflections upon life that are -very near to life itself. It is Mr. Phillpotts at his characteristic -best."--</span><em class="italics">Boston Transcript</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"The daily bread of life is in this book ... magnificently -written, ... absorbingly interesting, and holds that element -of surprise which is never lacking in the work of the true -story teller. It is a book for which to be frankly grateful, -for it holds matter for many hours' enjoyment.--</span><em class="italics">New York -Times</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">BY THE SAME AUTHOR</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">Faith Tresilion</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Decorated Cloth, 12mo, $1.35</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Its movement is brisk, and the development of its plot is -emphasized at certain steps with sudden surprises--all of which -contribute toward holding the reader's attention."--</span><em class="italics">New York Times</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A rousing story, having about it the tang and flavor of the sea, and -with the sound of trumpets ringing through.... Mr. Phillpotts -has chosen a period of thrills for his story and has -succeeded very well in putting across the bracing atmosphere of perilous -times. His portrayal of the coast folk of Daleham rings true and -refreshing."--</span><em class="italics">Kansas City Star</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A tale picturesque in its scenes and rich in its -character."--</span><em class="italics">Boston Transcript</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Mr. Phillpotts may be congratulated upon having written a -remarkable book in which there is not a dull page."--</span><em class="italics">Philadelphia -Ledger</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A book that is distinctly interesting."--</span><em class="italics">New York Herald</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"No character that Mr. Phillpotts has created can surpass that of -Emma Tresilion."--</span><em class="italics">Boston Times</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"It is a very readable story."--</span><em class="italics">The Outlook</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A book of stirring adventure and sensational -experiences."--</span><em class="italics">Literary Digest</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Never has Eden Phillpotts written so swinging a romance."--</span><em class="italics">Bellman</em><span>.</span></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"A rattling good story."--</span><em class="italics">Los Angeles Times</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">OTHER OF MR. EDEN PHILLPOTTS' NOVELS</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">The Three Brothers</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 12mo, $1.50</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"'The Three Brothers' seems to us the best yet of the long series -of these remarkable Dartmoor tales. If Shakespeare had written -novels we can think that some of his pages would have been like -some of these.... The book is full of a very moving interest, -and it is agreeable and beautiful."--</span><em class="italics">New York Sun</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">Knock at a Venture</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 12mo, $1.50</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>Sketches of the rustic life of Devon, rich in racy, quaint, and -humorous touches.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">The Portreeve</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 12mo, $1.50</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"Twice, at least, he has reached and even surpassed the standard of -his first notable work. Once was in 'The Secret Woman.' The -second time is in 'The Portreeve.' In sheer mastery of technique -it is the finest thing he has done. From the beginning to the -end the author's touch is assured and unfaltering. There is nothing -superfluous, nothing unfinished.... And the characters, even -to the least important, have the breath of life in them."--</span><em class="italics">The -Providence Journal</em><span>.</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"> -</div> -<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">My Devon Year</span></p> -<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"> -</div> -<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics medium">Cloth, 8vo, $2.00, with 38 Monotint plates, $2.00</em></p> -<p class="pnext"><span>"One of the most charming nature books recently published.... -This book will inspire such persons and many others to get back to -Mother Earth and see her wonders with a new eye. 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