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diff --git a/41274.txt b/41274.txt deleted file mode 100644 index b404647..0000000 --- a/41274.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3644 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's A New Catalogue of Vulgar Errors, by Stephen Fovargue - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: A New Catalogue of Vulgar Errors - -Author: Stephen Fovargue - -Release Date: November 3, 2012 [EBook #41274] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A NEW CATALOGUE OF VULGAR ERRORS *** - - - - -Produced by Steven Gibbs, Keith Edkins and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - -Transcriber's note: The errata listed at the end of the work have been -corrected where they occur in the text. - - * * * * * - - -A NEW - -CATALOGUE - -OF - -VULGAR ERRORS. - -BY - -STEPHEN FOVARGUE, A.M. - -FELLOW OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE. - - * * * * * - - In many Cases one with Amazement hears the Arguings, and is astonished - at the Obstinacy, of a worthy Man, who yields not to the Evidence of - Reason, tho' laid before him as clear as Day-light. LOCKE. - - _Sunt delicta tamen, quibus ignovisse velimus._ HOR. - - * * * * * - -_CAMBRIDGE_, -Printed for the AUTHOR: - - Sold by FLETCHER & HODSON in Cambridge; S. CROWDER in Pater-noster-Row, - J. DODSLEY in Pall-Mall, M. HINGESTON near Temple-Bar, and G. KEARSLY - in Ludgate-street, London; J. FLETCHER at Oxford; and the Booksellers - at Norwich, Lynn, York, and Newcastle. 1767. - -(Price HALF A CROWN.) - - * * * * * - -PREFACE. - -To explain the Use of Education, no Method can be more effectual, than to -shew what dull Mistakes and silly Notions Men are apt to be led into for -Want of it. These Mistakes are so numerous, that if we were to undertake to -divulge all the Errors that Men of no Knowledge in the Sciences labour -under, the shortest Way would be to publish a compleat System of Natural -Philosophy, which Learning, as it may be acquired by reading the different -Books, which have already been wrote upon that Subject, in this Aera of the -Sciences, such an Undertaking would be quite needless at this Time, even -supposing the Author capable of that laborious Work. - -If the following Sheets do but serve to divest Men of some of those -unreasonable Obstinacies with which they and their Forefathers have long -been prepossessed, the Time will be well laid out, both of the Writer and -Reader. - -Be not affronted, gentle Reader, at my taxing thee with Error, with -Obstinacy, or the like; thou mayest not be one of that Stamp; for any Thing -I know you may have studied the Sciences, you may be well versed in -Mechanics, Optics, Hydrostatics, and Astronomy; you may have made the Tour -of Europe, if not, you may soon do it in Post-Chaises, and be almost as -wise as you was when you went out; or you may be one of those whom -bountiful Nature has blessed with a most excellent Understanding, a quick -Apprehension, and a discerning Judgment, and yet not have been so -fortunate, or unfortunate, which you think proper to term it, as to have -been brought up a Scholar. - -Scoff not when we dwell so much upon Scholarship; for I would have thee -know, whether thou thinkest proper to believe me or not, that had it not -been for the four Branches of Learning abovementioned, thou wouldest not -have been smoaking that Pipe of right Virginia, which in all Probability -(whether thou art a Farmer in the Country, or a Mechanic in London) thou -art now most pompously blowing to Ashes: Neither would that charming Bowl -of Rum and Brandy Punch mixed, have waited at thy Elbow to inspire thee -with generous Sentiments (which Punch, let me tell thee, if thou drinkest -in Moderation, may keep thee from the Ague, if thou livest in the Hundreds -of Essex.)--Nay, thou wouldest not even have known what it was to have -tasted a Plumb-Pudding, which, tho' now, thy Palate being vitiated with -salt Pork and Mustard, and bottled Beer, thou hast no Relish for, yet thou -mayest remember the Time when thou didst think it most delicious Food. To -Philosophy art thou beholden for all these Dainties and Comforts of Life, -which if thou dost contradict, and dost still obstinately persist in thy -own Opinion, and wilt not be convinced of thy Errors, know, Dust and Ashes, -that thou art not sensible whether thou movest or standest still; and dost -imagine, that the glorious Sun is an extempore Whirligig. - -Wonder not, Reader, if thou art a Man of Sense, that thou shouldest be -mistaken in many Things: For what Mortal can pretend to such Knowledge as -never to be mistaken? Truth is more difficult to be found out than is -generally imagined: Error is easily fallen into; by so much the easier as -the Odds are against us: For in the Disquisition of any Point, there are -numberless Wrongs, but there is only one Right. Numberless Falshoods and -Errors may be raised about any Thing, but Truth is invariable, and remains -the same to all Eternity. - -The following Sheets will not contain many philosophical Terms; we shall -rather avoid such a Step as would hinder a great Part of our Readers from -understanding us, and shall endeavour to explain ourselves by such Methods -as the meanest Capacity will be able to comprehend. Moreover, all such -Subjects will be avoided as may interfere with any religious Tenets, it not -being the Intention of this Pamphlet to deprive Men of their Rest, by -tearing from their Consciences those fixed Protestant Principles of -Religion (let them be what they will) which they and their Ancestors have -long and peaceably enjoyed. But our Disquisitions will be chiefly confined -to natural Objects, and the Phaenomena which daily present themselves to -our View. We shall likewise endeavour to rectify some of those Mistakes in -the common Arts of Life, whether of Business or Pleasure, which Men by an -accustomed Tradition are apt most obstinately to persevere in. - - * * * * * - -INTRODUCTION. - -The third Error is one which Sir Thomas Brown has taken Notice of; and it -must be acknowledged, that the inserting of it here was a Mistake. However, -we hope that it will be excused, since it is seven Years since the Author -of this little Pamphlet had the Pleasure of reading _a Part_ of Dr. Brown's -Vulgar Errors, and then he did not see that Error; it being not regularly -placed among the others, but in a separate Detachment from the main Body. -Notwithstanding the general Perspicuity of this Author, we are apt to think -that he never heard a Bittern himself, but only went by Hearsay with -respect to the Noise which is made by that Bird, however skilled he shews -himself in the Anatomy of it. He says, that it differs but little from the -croaking of a Raven. We can assure the Reader, that neither the Noise it -makes when it draws in the Air, nor the Sound it gives when it throws it -out again, have the least Resemblance to the Croaking of a Raven, as he -calls it. - -A Raven makes a much shriller Noise than any of the Crow Kind, -notwithstanding it is a larger Bird. I make no Doubt but the Voice of a -Raven is twelve or thirteen Notes higher than the Voice of a Rook; besides, -he makes his Notes quick and sharp one after another; whereas a Bittern -takes near five Seconds between every Sound, and (as will be affirmed) in -as deep a Note as the fourth String of a double Bass. - - * * * * * - - ERROR I. - - _That the more Ammunition is put into a Fowling Piece, the farther it - will do Execution._ - -This Error is often of very dangerous and dreadful Consequence; I have -known People so obstinate in it, that even ocular Demonstration would not -convince them of their Mistake. - -It proceeds from a Notion, that the more a Gun recoils, the better and -stronger will be the Force with which the Shot fly out. - -There is nothing which requires more Nicety and Exactness than the finding -out the proper Charge of a Gun; it is something similar to finding out the -Tone of a musical Instrument; of which more in its Place. - -It will be sufficient here to say, that every Gun has a certain fixed -Quantity of Ammunition, with which it does the most Execution. I have seen -Lectures in the Art of Gunnery, which come under the Science of Mechanics, -and even the Author himself, though a Man of Learning and Abilities, seems -to have been ignorant of the Art of charging a Gun, when he says, "If you -put in a Gun, a Ball upon a Quantity of Powder as (1), it will throw the -Ball to such a Distance; if you put in a Quantity as (2), it will throw it -as far again." This seems to be a Mistake; because, if that was the Case, a -Person would have nothing to do but to put Powder enough into his Gun, and -have the Barrel made strong enough, and he need not fear killing at any -Distance. As to the Recoil it would give, if the Gunner was a strong -Country Gentleman, and a keen Sportsman, and an Englishman, it would be the -least of his Thoughts whether it struck him a great Blow or a small one. - -But to the Point: There is no better Way of finding out the proper Charge -of a Gun, than by the Report it gives. If there is too much Powder and too -little Shot, the Report will be a kind of a deep Roar; if too little Powder -and too much Shot, it will be an insignificant, short, narrow Smack; but if -it is charged properly, the Report will be a smart, shrill Clap, something -resembling Thunder. - -This is the Reason why the Report of a Sportsman's Gun is so different from -that of a Field-Keeper's. The Field-Keeper has, or ought to have, no Shot -in his Piece; the Sportsman's is properly loaded. - -In short, there is a Tone in the Barrel of a Gun, and the better the Temper -of the Metal is, the more shrill will be the Report, and the farther it -will do Execution. - -I have dwelt the longer upon this Subject, because a Gun is an ugly Weapon -in the Hands of those who are either ignorant or careless, or both. - - * * * * * - - II. - - _That the Heron makes a Hole in the Bottom of her Nest, through which - her Feet hang, when she sits upon her Eggs._ - -What seems to have led People into this Error, is, the Appearance which a -Heron makes upon her Nest: You may sometimes see her Feet when she is -sitting. - -Now it seems unaccountable, how a Bird should sit upon her Eggs on a Tree, -and yet her Feet appear to a Spectator below. For any Person who takes -Notice of a Bird sitting upon her Eggs, will find that she doubles them up -under her, and that they are hid among her Feathers and the Eggs; so that -if this is the Case, there can be no other Way of seeing her Feet, but by a -Hole through the Bottom of the Nest. - -But this is not the Case with the Heron, nor the Bittern, another Bird -resembling the Heron. When these Birds sit upon their Nests, their Legs lie -straight out behind them, in a Line parallel to the Plain of the Horizon, -in the same Posture as when they fly. This accounts for the Phoenomenon of -the Feet appearing on the outside of the Nest. - -These Birds have Legs of a remarkable Length, as every one must know, for -they are a very common Bird; and when they sit, or rather lie, upon their -Eggs in the abovesaid Posture, the Nest is unable to contain these long -Legs, and by that Means they hang over the Side of it, and are seen by -those who are under the Trees on which they build. - -With regard to any Thing of a Hole through the Bottom of the Nest, nothing -can be more fabulous: I once had the Sight of a large Tree, which had been -blown down in a high Wind, and was full of Heron's Nests. They are built -exactly in the Form of a Crow's Nest, and of the same Materials, only as -the Nests were larger than those of Crows, so there were some larger Pieces -of Sticks than Crows generally make Use of; and so far are they from having -a Hole at the Bottom, that it was impossible to find a Passage through any -Part of the Nest, with a stout walking Stick, so firm was the Texture of -them. - -If any one doubts of this, if he will take the Trouble to climb any Tree in -a Heronry, he will be convinced of the Truth of what has been said, by -ocular Demonstration. But I would not advise him to do it when there are -young ones. - -As the Bittern has been mentioned in this Section, it will not be amiss to -put in a Word or two concerning an Error, which passes very current in -Countries where this Bird is found, and which we may venture to assert is -equally fabulous with the former. It is, - - III. - - _That the Bittern puts his Bill or Beak into a Reed, and that the Reed - gives, by the Breath and Motion of the Beak of the Bird, that deep and - loud Note which we so frequently hear him make as he lies in a Fenn._ - -This Bird, on Account of the Noise he makes, which is much such a one as if -a Person was to express the Word Bump in a deep Note, is in many Countries -called a Butter-Bump: Nevertheless the true Name of him is Bittern, as may -be seen in several Books. - -One particular Proof that Bittern is the true and ancient Name, may be seen -in Stephens's Monasticon. The Author is giving us an Account of some -Expenses which the Abbey of Peterborough was at, and among others there is -a Bill made of the Expences for the Supper at the Funeral of one of the -Abbots of that Convent, in which, among a great Number of other costly -Dishes, and a Hogshead or two of Wine, which were drank, and an incredible -Quantity of other Things too tedious to mention, there is a Sum set down -for a great Number of Bitterns; from which we may venture to conclude, that -they were esteemed very delicate eating amongst those Connoisseurs. - -I hope the Reader will pardon this Digression from the Point in Hand, when -I take Occasion to observe, that here is another vulgar Error, which -supposes, that the present Times are more luxurious than the past. For to -convince us of this Mistake, we need go no farther than the aforesaid Book, -and there we shall find, that as much Money was laid out, (in Proportion to -the Scarcity of Coin in those Times) upon the Funeral of one of those -Abbots, as in the present Age will pay the Expences of a whole College for -a Twelvemonth. - -But to return to our Bitterns: That they were esteemed very delicate eating -at that Time, is plain, by their being served up at so splendid an -Entertainment; and we think it may be called another vulgar Error, in a -Farmer to suffer so fine a Bird to lie upon his Dunghill, while he and his -Wife and Family are regaling upon restie Bacon; which, as great an Error as -it is, I have known done, and a Person who knew the Value of the Bird, has -taken the Bittern from off the Dunghill, and dressed it, and made a -delicious Meal. - -But it is now Time to say something concerning the Error about the Noise it -makes. - -It is very absurd to suppose it possible, that this deep Note can proceed -from the Bird's putting his Beak into a Reed, even if it's Beak was formed -for the Purpose. Every one who knows of what vast Dimensions an Organ-Pipe -must be, to give such a loud, deep, bass Note as the Noise of a Bittern, -knows also, that a Reed is incapable of making such a Noise as that. It -must be something with a hollow Tube of a much larger Diameter than a Reed, -and the Wind must be thrown in with the greatest Exactness, both in regard -to the Quantity of the Wind, and the Manner in which it is let in; and -moreover the Tube must have a proper Aperture made towards the End of it, -of an exact Dimension according to the Size of the Tube, before it will -give any thing like a Tone at all. But here is a Sound as deep as the -fourth String of a double Bass, given by an Animal, that may be heard four -or five Miles off, in a still Evening. - -The most probable Conjecture is, that the Noise is made by the Animal -itself, with the Assistance of Nature alone; and we shall have the more -Reason to be of that Opinion, if we examine the Throat of the Bird, which -is of so uncommon a Size, that a moderate Hand would go down it. - -Now a Sound given from the Windpipe into such a Cavern as this, may very -probably be the Cause of this deep Tone. It acts upon the same Principle as -when a Person closes his Lips, and sounds a deep Note with his Voice. -Perhaps after the Reader has made the Experiment, (as in all Probability he -will do) he may be convinced that it is a vulgar Error, to suppose that a -Bittern puts his Beak into a Reed, when he makes that remarkable Noise -Which is heard in a Fenn. - -It may not appear foreign to the Purpose, when I say that I have heard a -Bittern make the Noise abovementioned, and that I have gone to the Spot, -which was coarse Grass or Flags, just mowed, where there were no Reeds; and -the Bird rose up before me. - -Here I must beg Leave to put in a Word or two, by way of corroborating what -has been said about the Heron and the Bittern lying flat upon their Nests, -with their Legs parallel to the Plain of the Horizon. - -When the aforesaid Bittern rose up, I shot, and wounded him slightly, and -marked him down again in the same Kind of Grass or short mowed Flags. As -the Grass was not higher than one's Shoes, and it was wounded, I was in -Hopes of having the Pleasure of seeing him lie on the Ground very plain. -However I let my Pointer go first, knowing that he would stand at the -Place. Accordingly made a dead Point at it. I came up as silent as -possible, to take a View of it, but to my great Surprize, nothing was to be -seen. - -There was indeed something which appeared long, like two green Weeds lying -among the Grass, and there was something like a large Spot of dryed Grass -or Flags a little before them. - -While I was looking at the Place, the Dog, being out of Patience, seized -Hold of this Phoenomenon, which proved to be no other than the Bittern -itself. Those Things which seemed to be green Weeds, were it's Legs -extended at the full Length, behind the Bird, as it lay quite flat upon -it's Belly; and that broad Spot of brown or dried Grass was the Body, with -the Wings extended to their full Stretch, quite flat upon the Ground, -which, I believe, formed as compleat a Deceptio Visus as any Thing in -Nature. - -Thus we see how wonderfully these Animals are formed for their -Self-Preservation; so wonderfully, that though they are near as large as a -Heron, and much of the same Shape, it must be a keen Eye that distinguishes -their long green Legs from Weeds, and their brown Backs from dried Grass; -but this Deceptio Visus is so notorious in Partridge, and many other -Species of Game, that there is no Occasion to dwell any longer upon that; -only what has been said may serve to convince the Reader of the Truth of -what has been observed in the foregoing Section, concerning the Posture of -a Heron and a Bittern on their Nests. - - * * * * * - - IV. - - _That the Tone of a Violin is to be brought out, by laying on like a - Blacksmith._ - -Before we can convince such of our Readers as have no Knowledge in that -Part of Pneumatics which is called Harmonics, of this Mistake, it will be -necessary just to give a short Account of the Cause of Sound in stringed -Instruments. - -In the first Place, all Sound proceeds from Undulations in the Air, which -is an elastic Fluid; and with regard to these Undulations, is much of the -same Nature as Water, which is another Fluid, but differs from Air in many -Respects. Now when a Person throws a Stone into Water, these Undulations or -Waves are raised in the Fluid for some Distance, by the Force and Action of -one Wave upon another. This is the Case with regard to Sound; only the Air -being an elastic Fluid, these Undulations are more quick and brisk in their -Motions than in Water. So much for Sound itself. Now for the Cause of this -Sound, or of these Undulations. - -These Undulations are caused by the Vibration of some elastic Body, which -is put into Motion by a Stroke of another Body against it. It must be an -elastic Body (take notice) for upon that Word depends the Truth of what is -going to be alledged. To convince the Reader of the Truth of this, he has -nothing to do but to take a Rolling Pin, and strike it against a Pound of -Butter, and he will find very little or no Sound at all, because Butter has -very little Elasticity or Spring in it; but if he strikes the aforesaid -Implement against the Table, he will find Sound enough, because most Tables -are made of Wood, which is a very elastic Body. If there is no Butter in -the House, Wax will do as well or better, for it will prove that a Body may -be hard without being elastic, and which will be very much to the Purpose. -It will be necessary, before we can get any further, to explain what -Vibration is, a Word very commonly made Use of among Musical Men, tho' but -little understood. - -To be as short as possible; a Piece of Lead hung upon the End of a String, -which moves backwards and forwards of itself after being first put into -Motion, is called a Pendulum, and that Motion backwards and forwards is -called its Vibration; it is upon this Principle that elastic Bodies are the -Cause of Sound. It will be best illustrated in a Musical Instrument, -besides that is the Point in Hand; and to be more to the Point still, we -will suppose it a Violin, though any other stringed Instrument would answer -the same End. - -Here we have four Strings stretched out upon a Bridge, or thin Piece of -Wood, which communicates to the Belly of the Instrument, from which Belly -the greatest Part of the Tone proceeds. Now a String drawn tight at both -Ends, when it is struck, will have a Vibration or tremulous Motion, which -Vibration, or tremulous Motion, acts upon the same Principle as a Pendulum -does in a Cycloid, or, to speak as plain as possible, as a Pendulum does -when it is put into it's proper Motion. - -It is upon this Principle of Vibration then, or tremulous Motion, that the -String of a Violin, being moved by the Bow, is to act: The String -immediately communicates it's tremulous Motion to the Bridge, and the -Bridge to the Belly of the Instrument, which Belly being made of a very -elastic Wood, by it's Vibration and free Motion, acts upon the Air in the -Manner abovementioned. - -As it is the great Elasticity of the Wood which is to cause the Tone, it -ought to have as little Confinement in it's Vibrations as is possible; the -Weight of the Strings must indeed press against it, otherwise they could -not communicate their Motion to it. We should therefore be careful not to -over-string the Instrument, since it so plainly contradicts the Principles -of Pneumatics. - -It is easy to hear when an Instrument is over-strung; and sometimes an -Octave in a Harpsichord, by it's additional Number of Strings, shall render -the Tone of the Instrument so dead, that, though it gives a Sprightliness -peculiar to an Octave, yet it sometimes hardly compensates for the Loss of -Tone which it causes in the Unisons, by it's too great Pressure upon the -Belly of the Instrument. - -And yet notwithstanding all this, what is more common than to see a -Performer, with his Waistcoat unbuttoned, laying Strokes on a Violin, heavy -enough to fell an Ox. - -The Truth is, managing the Bow is slight, and we must make Use of Art more -than Strength in our Performance: moreover, it is an Art which cannot be -wrote down upon Paper, nor explained in Words, but must be learned by the -Example and Direction of some assiduous Master. However what has been said -may serve to shew, from Philosophical Principles, the Error of leaning too -hard upon the Instrument, which was the Thing intended to be done. - - * * * * * - - V. - - _That the farther you go South, the hotter is the Climate._ - -Gentle Reader, as thou art a Person of Understanding, thou wilt pardon the -Want of Connection and Form which thou findest in the different Subjects -which are here started for thy Entertainment: It would be very easy, in the -fair Copy which will be wrote over, to range them, in an Order, suitable to -the different Branches to which they belong; but why should I pester thee -with Form, when there is nothing so agreeable to a Man of Taste as an easy -Variety? Therefore, though it is ten to one that, before I have done with -thee, I shall have some more Discourse with thee about Musical Instruments, -yet I shall not humour thee as a Critic so much as to give thee it now; -well knowing, that if thou art determined to _Review_ me, thou mayest find -Abundance of other Opportunities for it in this Book: And likewise, that if -thou dost approve of what is here discussed, thou wilt, if thou art a -good-natured honest Fellow, pass by a little Incorrectness; for what else -can a Man hope for in a Book which treats of nothing but Blunders? However -the two following Sections may afford thee some Entertainment, if thou art -a Man of Learning, and if thou art not a Man of Learning, they will give -thee some Instruction; and to tell thee the Truth, the Subject of them is -so Philosophical, that if we were not fully convinced of the Truth of what -will be alledged, we should be afraid to undertake it. - -For in this little Pamphlet, Philosophy will be avoided as much as -possible, that is, it never will be introduced at all, unless it is -absolutely necessary to call in it's Aid, in order to prove the Truth of -any Thing which shall be asserted. But to the Point; which is, to rectify -the vulgar Error, which supposes, that the farther a Person goes South, the -hotter will be the Climate. - -This is so well known to be an Error, by all Men of Science, and by all -Navigators, that it is needless to say much about it, only just to relate -the Truth, that those who are mistaken in their Way may be set in the right -Road. But to proceed. - -The two Poles of the Earth, that is, the two North and South Extremities of -the Globe, are in such a Position, or are so inclined to the Sun, or to the -Plain of the Ecliptic, as never to have any Rays fall directly over their -Heads, or they never have him any higher than a little above their Horizon, -or the Surface of the Earth; for which Reason it is always cold at the -North and South Poles, which will naturally be the Case, as any one may -experience by the different Position of the Sun, in Summer and Winter, in -our own Climates. - -The Case is exactly contrary at the Aequator, or on the Middle of the -Globe, which is farthest from the two Poles, for there they have the Sun -over their Heads at Noon all the Year round; for which Reason it is always -hot under the Line, yet not always the hottest of any Part of the Globe, as -has been sometimes philosophically supposed, and which shall be the Subject -of the next Chapter, to introduce which this was principally intended. - - * * * * * - - VI. - - _That exactly under the Aequator is always the hottest Climate on the - Globe._ - -This Error by no Means ought to be called a vulgar one; because it is a -Course of Philosophical Study, joined to a Want of Experience, which gives -Occasion to it. It is the Result of a Knowledge of the general Cause of -Heat and Cold, in different Degrees of Latitude upon the Surface of the -Earth; which Knowledge is apt to apply the Rules of Astronomy, that explain -the Phoenomena of Nature in general, to every Purpose that offers itself, -in all Cases, without being able to search into the individual Parts of a -System, on Account of the Distance of the Objects which are the Subjects of -Enquiry. For though, as has been said before, for a just Astronomical -Reason, the Position will hold good, that those Inhabitants who are under -the Line, live in the hottest Climate in general, yet it is proved by the -Experience of Navigators, that in several Parts under the Aequator there is -a fine, mild, soft Climate, even excelling any of those in the temperate -Zones; so happily are Things disposed for the Purposes of Animal Life, by -the Author of Nature. - -This is a Truth which we are constrained to believe, as we have so many -living Witnesses in our own Country, who are ready to assert it. - -We have one accurate Account in Anson's Voyage, where the Author reasons -very Philosophically upon the Subject. This Author tells us, that the Crew -of the Centurion were in some Uneasiness about the Heat of the Climate, -which they expected they were to undergo, when they came to that Part of -the Aequator which is near the American Coast, upon the South Sea; but that -when they came under the Line, instead of those scalding Winds which -sometimes blow in immensely hot Climates, they were agreeably surprized -with the softest Zephyrs imaginable; and that, instead of being scorched by -the perpendicular Rays of the Sun, they had a fine Covering of thin grey -Clouds over their Heads, and just enough of them to serve for a Screen, -without looking dark and disagreeable. Many other Beauties of the Climate -the Author describes, which need not be mentioned here, as it is easy to -see the Book. - -He accounts for the extraordinary Mildness of the Climate in Words to this -Purpose: - -"There are Mountains on the Sea Coast of this Latitude, of an enormous -Height and great Extent, called the Andes, the Tops and Sides of which are -covered with everlasting Snow. These Mountains cast a Shade and Coolness -round them, for several Leagues, and by their Influence it is, that the -Climate is so temperate under that Part of the Line. But, says the Author, -when we had sailed beyond the Aequator, into four or five Degrees of North -Latitude, and were got out of the Influence of those Mountains covered with -Snow, we then began to feel that we were near the Line, and the Climate was -as hot as we could have expected to have found it at the Aequator itself." - -There can be no Doubt of the Truth of this Account: No Man would have made -such Assertions as these, if they had not been true, when there were so -many living Witnesses to have contradicted such an idle, needless Falshood -as this would have been. And indeed the Appearance of wise Design in the -Author of Nature is no where more conspicuous than in these Instances of -his Care for the Preservation of the animal System. What could we have -expected more than Mountains of Snow in Greenland? And even in those frozen -Regions we have as great Instances of the same Providence: When the Springs -are all frozen up, in that severe Climate, they have sometimes, even in the -middle of Winter, such mild South Winds as serve to thaw the Snow, so as to -cause Water to settle in the Valleys, and to run under the Ice in -Quantities large enough to serve the Purposes of animal Life; not to -mention the great Quantities of Timber which the Surf of the Sea brings -upon that Coast, from other Countries; without which the Inhabitants would -have no Firing, nor Timber for their Huts, nor Shafts for their Arrows, as -there are no Trees in that Country. - -And now I hope it will not be thought too bold an Analogy if we presume to -say, that as, contrary to all Expectation, at the Aequator (where -intolerable Heat might be expected) the Inhabitants are provided with -Mountains covered with Snow, to qualify their Atmosphere; why may not we -suppose, that at the very Poles themselves there may be some Cause, unknown -to us, which may render the Climate serene and mild, even in that supposed -uninhabitable Part of the Globe? Why may there not be hot, burning Minerals -in the Earth at the Poles, as well as snowy Mountains at the Aequator? - -We have Reason to think that the Composition of the Earth, at that Part of -the Globe, is of an extraordinary Nature; as the magnetic Quality of it is -to be apprehended, from it's immediate Attraction of the Needle. We are -entirely ignorant of the Soil, of the Place, and of the Constitution of the -Inhabitants, if there are any. We are certain that, near Greenland, there -are Sands of so extraordinary a Nature, that the Wind will carry great -Clouds of them several Leagues to Sea, and they will fall into the Eyes and -Mouths of Navigators, who are sailing past the Coast, at a great Distance. -This Instance only serves to shew, that we may be quite ignorant of the -Nature of the Soil which is under the Pole; we cannot tell whether it -consists of Mountains or Caverns, fiery Volcanos or craggy Rocks, of Ice, -Land, or Water, cultivated Fields or barren Desarts. - -What has been laid will seem less strange, if we look back into the Notions -which the Ancients had of the Torrid Zone. It is not long since it was -thought, that only the Temperate Zone on this Side the Aequator was -habitable; so far were they from attempting to find out another Temperate -Zone beyond the Aequator, that nobody dare approach near the Line, for Fear -of being roasted alive. This is the true State of the Case; and if it be so -that the Ancients were, for such a vast Number of Years, under a mistaken -Notion, concerning the Possibility of living under or near the Line, why -may not we, who are neither more daring nor more ingenious than the old -Romans, be likewise mistaken, or rather totally ignorant of the Climates at -the Pole? - -And here I beg Leave to offer a Philosophical Reason, why it should not, -according to the Nature of Things, be any colder at the Poles themselves, -than ten Degrees on this Side of them. Not that I by any Means insist upon -the Truth of what I am going to say; I only just offer it as a Subject to -be discussed by those who are more learned, and are able to take more exact -Mensurations of the Phoenomena of Nature than myself. - -What I would offer is, that there is no Reason to apprehend more Cold at -the Extremities of the Poles than ten Degrees on this Side of them, on -Account of the Figure of the Earth. The Figure of the Earth is found, by -Observations which have been made, upon the Difference of the Vibrations of -Pendulums at the Aequator and near the Poles, and by other Experiments, to -be not a Sphere, but a Spheroid; it is not exactly round, neither is it -oval, but (if I may make Use of the Comparison) more in the Shape of a -Turnip. - -Now the Climate is hotter at the Aequator than in high Latitudes, on -Account of the Inclination of the Poles to the Sun, as has been said -before: What I would urge is, that the Surface of the Earth, at ten Degrees -on this Side of the Poles, is as much or nearly as much inclined to the -Plain of the Ecliptic as the Poles themselves. - -If that is the Case, no Reason can be given why the Poles should be colder -than Greenland, where, if we may believe the Accounts of Navigators, though -in the Winter the Cold is so intense as to freeze Brandy, yet, in the -middle of Summer it is sometimes so hot, that People have been glad to -strip off their Cloaths, for an Hour or two in a Day, in order to go -through their Work. But to return to the Surmise, that the Poles are no -colder than ten Degrees on this Side of them, on Account of the -Spheroidical Figure of the Earth. - -I must trouble the Reader with a very plain Figure, in order to illustrate -the Meaning of this. - -[Illustration] - -By this Figure we may observe, that any Rays of the Sun A, which fall upon -a Place situated ten Degrees on our Side of the Pole B, and Rays which fall -on the Pole itself, do not make so large an Angle, as they would if the -Form of the Earth was a Sphere; for if we extend the two Points B and C so -far as to make a compleat Sphere, we must be obliged likewise to move the -Line D along with it to the Point E, which would make a larger Angle, and -in that Case the Surface of the Earth at the Pole B would be more inclined -to the Plain of the Ecliptic than it is, and consequently it would be -colder, as the Cause of Heat and Cold in different Parts of the Globe is -owing to the Inclination of the Poles to the Plain of the Ecliptic, and not -to the Distance of the Sun from the Earth at the different Seasons of the -Year; for if that was the Case, we should have colder Weather in July than -we have in December, the Sun being rather nearer to us in Winter than in -Summer. - -I hope that this little Philosophical Effort, which has been made here, -will not be looked upon as unseasonably introduced in this Place; and I -likewise hope, that while I gaze with Wonder on the stupendous Frame of the -Universe, I shall not be thought presumptuous in having taken a little -Survey of one of the Wheels which duly performs it's Revolutions in that -glorious Machine, the Solar System; the exact and regular Movements of -which inspire the curious Beholder with a more awful Idea of the Greatness -of the Fabricator, than it is possible for any one to conceive, who is -entirely ignorant of the Accuracy of the Construction. - - * * * * * - - VII. - - _That the more Hay is dried in the Sun, the better it will be._ - -As Hay is an Herb which is dried in order to lay up all the Winter, when it -cannot be found in the Fields, and as it is intended for the Food and -Nourishment of Animals, that Nourishment must consist of such of the Juices -as are left behind in the Herb. - -It is very possible, by the Art of Chemistry, to extract from Hay all the -separate Salts, Spirits, &c. of which it is composed. Now in a Chymical -Preparation, there is always something left behind in the Still, out of -which it is impossible to extract any more Juices; that the Chymists call -Caput Mortuum. This Caput Mortuum is of no Service, and is entirely void of -all those Salts and Spirits with which every other Substance on the Surface -of the Earth abounds more or less. - -The Sun acts upon Bodies much in the Nature of a Still. He, by his Heat, -causes the Vapours of all Kinds, which any Substance contains, to ascend -out of their Residences into the Atmosphere, to some little Height, from -whence either the Wind carries them, if there is any, or if there is no -Wind, they fall down again Upon the Earth by their own Weight, at Sun-set, -and are what is called Dew. - -Since this is the Case, and the Sun acts upon Bodies in the same Manner as -a Still, we should take Care not to make Caput Mortuum of our Hay, by -exposing it too long to his Rays; for by that Means we shall extract from -it most of those Salts Spirits of which Food must consist, and of which all -Animal Substance is composed. - -The Botanists are sensible of this: When they dry their Herbs, they lay -them in a Place where no Sun can come to them, well knowing that too much -Sun would take off their Flavour, and render them unfit for their different -Physical Uses. Not that Hay would be made so well without Sun, on Account -of the Largeness of the Quantity, and at the same Time it ought to be dryed -enough, and no more than enough; for it is as easy to roast Hay too much as -a Piece of Meat. - - * * * * * - - VIII. - - _That the Violin is a wanton Instrument, and not proper for Psalms; and - that the Organ is not proper for Country-Dances, and brisk Airs._ - -This Error is entirely owing to Prejudice. The Violin being a light, small -Instrument, easy of Conveyance, and withal much played upon in England, and -at the same Time being powerful and capable of any Expression which the -Performer pleases to give it, is commonly made Use of at Balls and -Assemblies; by which Means it has annexed the Idea of Merriment and Jollity -to itself, in the Minds of those, who have been so happy as to be Caperers -to those sprightly English Airs, called Country Dances. - -The Organ, on the other Hand, being not easily moved on Account of it's -Size, and expensive on Account of the complicated Machinery which is -necessary to the Construction of it, is not convenient for Country Dances; -and at the same Time being loud, capable of playing full Pieces of Music, -Choruses, Services, &c. is made Use of in most Churches where the -Inhabitants can afford to purchase this fine Instrument. - -Nevertheless, notwithstanding these great Advantages, two or three Violins -and a Bass, are more capable of performing any solemn Hymn or Anthem than -an Organ; for the Violin, as has been before observed, is capable of great -Expression, but especially it is most exquisitely happy in that grave and -resigned Air, which the common Singing-Psalms ought to be played with. When -the Bow is properly made Use of, there is a Solemnity in the Strokes of it, -which is peculiar to itself. And on the other Hand, on Account of the -Convenience of Keys for the Readiness of Execution, nothing can be more -adapted to the Performance of a Country-Dance, than an Organ. For the Truth -of which Assertion I appeal to those who have been so often agreeably -surprized with those sprightly Allegros, in the Country-Dance Style, with -which many Organists think fit to entertain the Ladies, in the middle of -Divine Service. - -If Jack Latten is played at all, it is Jack Latten still, whether it be -played in Church or in an Assembly Room; and I am only surprized, that -People can so obstinately persist in the Denial of a Thing, concerning the -Truth of which it lies in their Power to be convinced every Sunday. - - * * * * * - - IX. - - _That the Organ and Harpsichord are the two Principal Instruments, and - that other Instruments are inferior to them in a Concert._ - -Notwithstanding the great Advantage which these Instruments have of playing -several Parts together, there is nevertheless one Imperfection which they -have, or rather they want one, or more properly a thousand Beauties -contained in one Word; which is no less material an Article than that of -Expression. - -There is no Word more frequently in the Mouths of all Sorts of Performers, -than this of Expression; and we may venture to affirm, that it is as little -understood as any one Term which is made Use of, in the Science of Music. - -Above three Parts in four make Use of it, without having any Meaning of -their own, only having heard some one else observe, that such or such a -Person plays with great Expression, they take a Fancy to this new adopted -Child, and become as fond of it, as if it was the legitimate Offspring of -their own Brain. Some who are more considerate, think that the Meaning of -it entirely consists in playing Staccato; and indeed these People come -nearer the Mark than the others, but they have not picked up all the -Meaning of the Word. - -One who plays with Expression, is he who, in his Performance, gives the Air -or Piece of Music (let it be what it will) such a Turn, as conveys that -Passion into the Hearts of the Audience, which the Composer intended to -excite by it. Dryden, in that masterly Poem, his Ode in Honour of St. -Cecilia's Day, has given us a true Idea of the Meaning of the Word; the -Beauties of which Poem, though they are enough to hurry any Man away from -his Subject, shall not be discussed at present, not being to the Point in -Hand. We shall only make Use of an Instance or two out of it, to illustrate -what has been said. - -Handel was so sensible of it's being capable, by the Help of Musical -Sounds, of raising those very Passions in the Hearts of the Audience, which -Dryden fables Alexander to have felt by the masterly Hand of Timotheus, -that, by setting it to Music, he has himself boldly stepped into the Place -of Timotheus. - -In this Performance called Alexander's Feast, it may easily be discerned, -that Expression does not consist in the Staccato only, or in any one Power -or Manner of playing. For Instance this Air, - - _Softly sweet in Lydian Measures_, &c. - -would be quite ruined by playing it Staccato; and again, - - _Revenge, Revenge, Timotheus cries_, &c. - -requires to be played in a very different Style from the foregoing Air. - -Passions are to be expressed in Music, as well as in the other Sister Arts, -Poetry and Painting. - -Having thus explained what is meant by Expression in Music, we will return -to the Point, viz. that the Organ and Harpsichord, though they have many -other Advantages, yet want that great Excellence of Music, Expression. -Surely it may not be thought a Straining of the Meaning of St. Paul's Words -too far, when I surmise, that he, who had a fine Education, and in all -Probability knew Music well, might have an Eye to the Want of Meaning or -Expression of the ancient Cymbal, when he says, "Tho' I speak with the -Tongues of Men and of Angels, and have not Charity, I am become as a -sounding Brass, and a tinkling Cymbal." That is, though I have ever so much -Skill in Languages, and the Arts and Sciences, my Knowledge is vain if I am -without the Virtue of Charity, and my Works will have no Force, and will in -that Respect resemble the Cymbal, which, though it makes a tinkling, and -plays the Notes, yet is destitute of the main Article Expression. For we -must not suppose, that so refined a Scholar as St. Paul was, could have -such a settled Contempt for the Science of Music, as to make Use of it even -as a Simile for what is trifling. We may venture to think, that the Apostle -alluded to that Want of Power in the Cymbal to move the Passions, which -other Instruments have. - -This is the very Case with the modern Harpsichord; it is very pretty, -notwithstanding it's Imperfections, with Regard to the Change of Keys, (of -which more in it's Place.) But no one can say, that it speaks to his -Passions like those Instruments which have so immediate a Connection with -the Finger of the Performer, as to sound just in the Manner which he -directs. - -In that Case the Powers are great; you have the Numbers of Graces which -have Names to them, and the still greater Number which have none; you have -the Staccato and the Slur, the Swell and the Smotzato, and the Sostenuto, -and a great Variety of other Embellishments, which are as necessary as -Light and Shade in Painting. - -To convince the Reader of this, let him hear any Master play Handel's Song, -_Pious Orgies, pious Airs_, upon the Organ or Harpsichord, and he will -find, that, though it will appear to be Harmony, yet it will want that -Meaning, and (not to make Use of the Word too often) Expression, which it -is intended to have given it by the Word Sostenuto, which Mr. Handel has -placed at the Beginning of the Symphony. - -Now a fine Performer upon the Violin or Hautboy, with a Bass to accompany -him, will give it that Sostenuto, even with greater Strength than the human -Voice itself, if possible. - -I by no Means intend to debase that noble and solemn Instrument the Organ, -nor the Wonders that are done upon it, nor the great Merit of the -Performers who execute them, by what has been here said; only to discuss a -little upon the Perfections and Imperfections of different Instruments, as -the more the Imperfections of an Instrument are looked into, the more -likely is the Ingenuity of Mechanics one Day or other to rectify them. - - * * * * * - - X. - - _That every different Key in Music ought to have a different Effect or - Sound._ - -This is an Error which belongs chiefly to those who play a little upon the -Harpsichord; it arises from the Imperfection of their Instrument. As a -greater Number of Keys would be inconvenient to the Performer, they are -obliged to make one Note serve for another, such as B flat for A sharp, and -many others, which necessarily renders some of the Keys imperfect. But we -are not to take Notice of the Imperfection of any one Instrument, and -regulate our Ear by that alone; we are to consider what is the real Scheme -of Music, and what was the Intent of having different Keys introduced into -Harmony. - -It was intended for the Sake of Variety. When the Ear begins to be -surfeited with too much of the _Cantilenam eandem Canis_, as Terence -expresses it, then Contrivances are made, without infringing upon the Laws -of Harmony, to have the Burthen of the Song upon a different Note; not that -this Key is to differ from the former in it's Mensurations from one Note to -another, unless it changes from a flat third Key to a sharp third, or vice -versa. For notwithstanding all the different Sounds which an imperfect -Instrument will give, in different Keys, there are in Reality but two Keys, -viz. a flat third Key, and a sharp third Key; and however the different -Keys upon any particular Instrument may sound, we will venture to affirm, -that any Piece of Music, let it be set in what Key it will, either is not -true Composition, or is performed badly, if it does not sound smooth and -harmonious. - -For though we do agree, that Variety is grateful in this Case as well as in -others, yet that Variety ought to be introduced with as little -Inconvenience as possible. When we shift our Scenes, we should order the -Carpenters to make as little Noise in the Execution of it as they can help, -and take Care that the Pullies are all well oiled. For shall any Man -entertain me, by making a most hideous jarring Discord before he begins -what he intends to be Harmony? It is as absurd as for a Lady to take you -half a dozen Boxes on the Ear, before she permits you to salute her, and -then to tell you she only did it, that you might have a more lively -Apprehension of the exquisite Happiness which her unparallelled Charms -should very soon make you sensible of. - -We may apprehend the Difference of perfect and imperfect Instruments, by -listening to a Harpsichord, when any Music, where the Key changes often, is -played, and to a fine Band, such as the Playhouse or the Opera. We shall -find, in the latter, that the Composer has taken Care to make every -Transition quite smooth and harmonious; and that tho' the Music be ever so -cromatic, yet it never departs from it's melodious Effect. Whereas in an -Organ or Harpsichord, even the greatest Performers cannot avoid a -disagreeable Roughness in complicated Harmony. Nevertheless, as has been -before observed, we must acknowledge the Organ to have Powers which other -Instruments have not. - - * * * * * - - XI. - - _That a Piece of Music which has Flats set before it, is in a Flat Key - on that Account, and vice versa with Sharps._ - -This is so well known to be an Error, by all those who have arrived at any -Proficiency in Music, that very little need be said about it; however, it -is a very common Error. - -A Key is not constituted flat or sharp, by having Flats or Sharps at the -Beginning of the Piece of Music; but it depends upon the third Note upwards -from that Note in which the Music is composed. For Instance, if the Piece -is composed in D, and we find that F is natural, or only half a Note from -E, then it is in a flat, or flat third, Key; if F is sharp, or a whole Note -above E, then the Piece of Music is composed in a sharp third Key. But as -there are so many Books extant about Thorough Bass, which give a full -Account of this, it will be needless to say any more about it, only to -mention it as an Error, among other Errors. The Reader shall not be tired -any more with Music at present, but for Variety we will shift the Scene a -little while. - - * * * * * - - XII. - - _That apparitions or Spectres do exist; or that the Ghosts of Men do - appear at, before, or after their Deaths._ - -We would not be thought, in the following Discourse, to call in Question -that great Miracle of our Saviour's rising again the third Day, and -appearing to the Twelve: What shall be here said, will rather prove the -Miracle to be the greater, and therefore more worthy the interfering Hand -of Omnipotence. - -But we must not suppose that the Supreme Being will condescend to pervert -the Order of Nature for Individuals. The ancient Heathens had a true Notion -of the Greatness of him, _qui Templa Coeli summa sonitu concutit_. Ter. -Eun. And Horace observes, - - _Nec Deus intersit, nisi dignus vindice nodus._ - Art. Poet. - -Since it must be no less than a Miracle which causes an Apparition, I shall -proceed, without any Scruple, to prove that there is no such Thing in -Nature really existing. - -Of all the Errors with which the Brains of Mankind have been troubled, -there is none of such ancient Standing as this. We have Ghosts and -Hobgoblins even in Homer; not that there is Reason to suspect that Homer -ever believed in them himself; he seemed too well versed in the real -Phoenomena of Nature, to entertain any such chimerical Dreams as Truth; for -Dreams they are, and no better: the true _Somnia Vatum_ of the Ancients, -handed down to Posterity, even to these enlightened Times. How many -horrible Nights have been passed in cold Sweats, by otherwise very sensible -People, owing to nothing else but the Apprehensions which they have had of -these no-existing Gentry! How was even the Metropolis itself terrified the -other Day, by the Scratching Ghost at Cock Lane! I think enough has been -said, even in this little Book, to prove that no Noise can be made, unless -by the Vibration of some elastic Body. If a Noise is made by a Voice, it -must be from an Animal, which has Lungs and Breath to do it; if a -Scratching is made, it must be done by something which has Hands, and -Sinews to move those Hands; and it must have Nails, or some other bodily -Substance, to scratch with, before it can cause a Sound to proceed from an -elastic Body. So much for Scratching, and dismal Yellings, and Groanings of -all Sorts, which have been fabled of Ghosts. - -It will require a little Dissertation upon Optics, in order to explain the -Cause of Light and Colours, before we can confute the Possibility of seeing -an Apparition. - -Light is found to be a real Substance; it is swift beyond Comprehension; if -I mistake not, it is calculated by Sir Isaac Newton, to be only eight -Minutes in passing from the Sun to the Earth; it is very subtle, passing -through the hardest transparent Bodies; it is capable of Refraction and -Reflection, that is, either of passing through a transparent Body, as a -Window, or of being reflected from an even Surface, as a Looking-Glass, or -a Piece of polished Steel; so that if we see any Object at my Time, the -Cause of our seeing it, if there is no Window between, is by Reflection, or -by the Rays of Light being reflected from the Object to the Eye of the -Beholder, which is formed for the Reception of the Rays which come from the -Object, in the same Manner as a Camera obscura. - -When the Rays have found a Passage into the Pupil of the Eye, they fall -upon a thin Membrane which is called the Retina, upon which Retina the -exact Picture of the Object is represented, as may be seen by the Eye of an -Ox, properly prepared and placed in the Hole of a Window-Shutter. This -Retina is an Elongation from the Brain; and by this Means it is, that we -receive those various agreeable or disagreeable Sensations with which we -find ourselves affected, by the Sight of external Objects. So that we may -observe, that it must be not only real Substance which must reflect Rays to -the Eye, in order to cause Vision, but the Rays themselves, likewise, which -come from that Object, are Substance. - -If this is the Case, the Apparition of a Person must be a Substance, which -is reflected from a Substance, which belongs to the Body of him who is -dead, or is going to die. With regard to him who is dead and buried, one -would think, that he and his Substance are so safe under Ground, that no -Part of him can reflect any Rays; but a Person who is above Ground, either -dead or dying, may reflect Rays to the Eye of a Beholder, and if it happens -to be a Friend or Relation, such Rays will make so strong an Impression -upon the Retina, that they shall in such a Manner imprint themselves upon -that pliable Spot, as will cause the Brain and Nerves of the Beholder to -have the Sensation of seeing the dead or dying Person some Time after the -real Action of seeing him. - -This will account for most of those positive Assertions, which we may hear -in any Village, of the seeing the Apparitions of People after they are -dead, or just before they die, 'tis all one. We very seldom hear of any -such Thing in Town, which corresponds with what has been said; for in Town -it is so common to have Deaths and Funerals, &c. that People are no more -affected with the Sight of a dead Man than a living one. But the Case is -quite different in Villages. A Village with fifty Houses in it, situated in -a wholesome Country, shall not have above one Person die in a Year; this -makes such a Stir, that all the old Women in the Town must have a Peep at -the deceased, as he lies in his Coffin, with his Shroud on; which -Alteration of Appearance in the dead Person, from what they remember him, a -little while since, leaves such an Impression upon the Retinas of these old -Women, that 'tis ten to one but some of them think they see him, as soon as -the dark Hour comes on. And, very likely, a Person who thinks he sees an -Apparition may not be altogether wrong; there may be some of the Picture of -the dead Person still faintly remaining upon his Retina; and if so, it -certainly will give the same Sensation as if he faintly saw the Person. If -this is the Case, it is not the deceased come back again to bully us, as is -generally imagined, if we do apprehend we see him; but the Remembrance of -him strong in that Organ the Eye, by which we formed the Idea of him in our -Minds, when we really did behold him. - -Homer seems to allude to this, when he makes Patroclus's Ghost appear to -Achilles. When Patroclus was slain by Hector before Troy, the Body, after a -long Dispute for it, between the Greeks and Trojans, was brought to -Achilles's Tent, where Achilles is described by the Poet, as making bitter -Lamentations over the Body of his deceased Friend. At Night he lays himself -down upon the Sea Shore, and falls asleep, when the Ghost of Patroclus -comes to demand the funeral Obsequies. - - [Greek: Elthe d' epi psuche Patrokleos deiloio,] - [Greek: Pant' autoi megethos te kai ommata kal' eikuia,] - [Greek: Kai phonen; kai toia peri chroi heimata hesto;] - Hom. Iliad. Lib. 23. - -Homer never introduces an Incredulus Odi into his Works; he has an Eye upon -Probability in all his Fictions. It seems probable, that Achilles, after he -had been hanging over the Body of Patroclus, either quite asleep, or -between sleeping and waking, should imagine that he saw his Friend's -Apparition. And though Homer might not have heard of such a Thing as the -Retina in the Eye, (though it is not at all impossible he should, for he -shews himself a great Anatomist) yet he very well knew the Impression which -the Sight of a departed Friend is sure to make upon the Mind of the -Beholder. By this Propriety of Introduction, he keeps up the Appearance of -Probability, so necessary even in Poetry itself, which is generally -Fiction. - -By this it should seem, that Homer was tacitly of Opinion, that there is -really no such Thing in Nature as an Apparition, and that it has no other -Existence than in the Imaginations of Men. And we have the more Reason to -believe that this was his Opinion, as we find that he did not choose to -introduce the Ghost of Patroclus to Achilles, when he was broad awake; but, -as he thought it might seem to want the Air of Probability, if he made -Patroclus appear to Achilles when awake, he takes Care to compose Achilles -into a Nap first, and by that means leaves the Reader to his own Opinion, -whether the Ghost did really come, or whether Achilles only thought so. -This is one of those Touches of Art with which Homer abounds. - -But there is another Reason why we have so many of these Stories told us of -Apparitions by our Grandmothers; and that is, the Tricks which the Priests -of the Roman Catholic Times found it necessary to put upon their Flock, in -order to keep up their Credit. - -Chymistry was the Study of those Times, and Lectures were given in them at -the Universities, as frequently as they are in Philosophy at present. It is -for this Reason, I apprehend, that Shakespeare introduces Friar Lawrence, a -Student in a Convent or Roman Catholic College, with several Kinds of Herbs -in a Basket, the particular Virtues of which he seems perfectly to -understand, and which he is going to extract from them, for physical Uses: -Had Shakespeare lived in these Times, most likely he would have introduced -him with a Quadrant, a Globe, or a Prism, or some other Philosophical -Instrument. Now those who have not seen some little of Chymistry, have no -Notion of the Wonders that are to be done by it; and these crafty Priests -knew so well how to make Use of their Art to the best Advantage, that they -could frighten a whole Village, whenever they had an Inclination to play -their Pranks. Friar Bacon, who was perhaps the greatest Chymist in Europe, -used to play so many Tricks, that he was thought by the whole Country, to -deal with the Devil; and many Stories of him are now extant, to that -Effect. One of the most common Pranks amongst these Gentry was this: They -used to get one who could draw well, to take some Phosphorus (which is a -Chymical Preparation from Urine) in his Pocket; having thus armed -themselves, they perhaps would step into the first Alehouse where they saw -a Light, and mix with the Company. He who was in Possession of the -Phosphorus would get up and go to the Wall, under some Pretence or other, -upon which he would draw what Picture came first into his Head, very likely -the Picture of the Devil. Nothing is to be seen by Candle-Light, and it -must be dark, before the Marks made by Phosphorus upon a Wall will appear -like Fire. After sitting a little while, one of them would either introduce -some Discourse about the Wickedness of the Times, or would tell some Story -about Apparitions; in the middle of which another would run against the -Candle, as if by Accident, and put it out. As soon as the Candle is out, -another of them pretends to have found out this Figure upon the Wall, which -will appear like Fire. You may guess the Surprize of the poor Country -People, at seeing the Old Gentleman upon the Wall.--They all take to their -Heels. In the mean Time, to improve their Ideas, another of the -Confederates sets Fire to Brimstone, or some other stinking Combustible, -and pops it against all their Noses, as they run out of Doors; and after -these two powerful Sensations of seeing and smelling, it would be quite -impossible, by any Arguments, to persuade any of the Company, that they had -not actually seen the Prince of Darkness. By these and such like Arts, the -Roman Catholic Priests so long kept this now well-delivered Country under -their Subjection. - -Though this Account appears ridiculous enough, the Effect which such Sort -of Pranks have upon the weak Minds of Women and Children, are very serious; -and the Ideas which are received at this Time of Life, make such an -Impression upon some People, that they are unable to get the better of -their Apprehensions, even when they grow up. - -I know a Person of the first Sense, and a great Scholar, who retains these -Stories so strong in his Memory, that he dare as well put his Fingers into -the Old Lion's Mouth at the Tower, as go up to a Monument, which stands in -a certain Chapel in this University, after it is dark; not that he really -believes any Thing would hurt him there; nevertheless he declares he cannot -get the better of it. And I make no Doubt, that not only this Gentleman, -but Thousands more of his Majesty's good and bold Subjects, are in the same -Way. - -I look upon our Sailors, to care as little what becomes of themselves, as -any Set of People under the Sun; and yet no People are so much terrified at -the Thoughts of an Apparition. Their Sea Songs are full of them; they -firmly believe their Existence; and honest Jack Tar shall be more -frightened at a glimmering of the Moon upon the Tackling of the Ship, than -he would be if a Frenchman was to clap a Blunderbuss to his Head. - -I was told a Story by an Officer in the Navy, which may not be foreign to -the Purpose. - -About half a Dozen of the Sailors on board a Man of War, took it into their -Heads, that there was a Ghost in the Ship; and being asked by the Captain, -what Reason they had to apprehend any such Thing, they told him, that they -were sure there was a Ghost, for they smelt him. The Captain at first -laughed at them, and called them a Parcel of Lubbers, and advised them not -to entertain any such silly Notions as these, but mind their Work. It -passed on very well for a Day or two; but one Night, being in another -Ghost-smelling Humour, they all came to the Captain, and told him, that -they were quite certain, there was a Ghost, and he was somewhere behind the -Small-beer Barrels: The Captain, quite enraged at their Folly, was -determined, they should have something to be frightened at in earnest; and -so ordered the Boatswain's Mate to give them all a Dozen of Lashes, with a -Cat 'o nine Tails; by which means, the Ship was entirely cleared of Ghosts, -during the remainder of the Voyage. However, when the Barrels were removed, -some Time after, they found a dead Rat, or some such Thing, which was -concluded, by the rest of the Crew, to be the Ghost, which had been smelt a -little before. Thus we see, that the bravest Men of the Universe, may be -terrified, if they give way to their own chimerical Ideas; and that it is -only for want of searching into the Causes of the Phoenomena of Nature, -that People disturb themselves in this Manner, with such groundless and -unphilosophical Apprehensions. However, a great deal may be said in Favour -of Men, troubled with the Scurvy, the Concomitants of which Disorder, are -generally Faintings and the Hip, and Horrors without any Ground for them; -which leads me to say something upon an Error, relative to that Sea -Disorder, the Scurvy. - - * * * * * - - XIII. - - _That Bleeding is proper for a Patient, who is apt to be sick in a - Morning._ - -The first Person I heard remark this Error, was an old Physician, who, -though he had but little Practice, on Account of his travelling -Disposition, was nevertheless a Man of great Speculation. He had been three -Times over the Alps on Foot; and was in many Respects, a curious Man. - -The Company did not seem to take much Notice of his Remark, because he -certainly was an Oddity; however, if we may believe the Accounts of those -Physicians who have lately wrote upon the Scurvy, the Old Gentleman was in -the right. - -It seems, that among all the dreadful Symtoms, which accompany the Scurvy, -a fainting Sickness in a Morning, is the most certain Indication of it. -Many, upon Application for Relief, in that Case, have been treated as -Consumptive; when, upon a more strict Enquiry, they have been found to have -a violent Scurvy, and have been restored to Health by Mineral Waters. If -that is the Case, and fainting Sickness in a Morning, is a Sympton of the -Scurvy, Bleeding cannot be proper, as nothing is more likely to encrease -the Fainting, than Phlebotomy. - -I met with an Author somewhere, who reasoned upon the Subject, in this -Manner. He alledged, that the Cause of Fainting in the Scurvy, was owing to -such a Relaxation in the Blood Vessels, that they had not Power to perform -their Operations; and by that Means, were unable to give their Contents, -that quick, spirited Motion, which is required, to keep them in the upper -Parts of the Body; and that, by the Blood being suffered to fall down to -the lower Parts of the Body, the Head, Heart, and other Vital Parts, were -left destitute of that Fluid, which is so necessary for the Preservation of -Life. This he proves, by the sudden Change which is caused in Patients, -afflicted with the Scurvy, on altering their Position. If, says he, you -cause a Patient to be raised up in his Hammock, though before he was in -very good Spirits (a Thing peculiar to the Sea Scurvy, even in the last -Stages of it, at Times) he will faint immediately; if you lay him in an -inclined Posture, he will recover again. And he gives this Reason for it, -viz. that the Blood settles downwards, in the same Manner, as Humours do in -a Dropsy, when the Patient is erect; and that it returns again, when he is -supine; and by that Means, it re-invigorates those Parts, which were -distressed by its Absence. If this is the Case, and the learned Doctor's -Position is true, to take away that little Blood, which is left behind, in -the upper Parts of the Body, on a Scorbutic Patient's getting into an erect -Posture, or rising in a Morning, is to deprive him of all the Nourishment -which his Vital Parts contain for their Preservation, and seems to be a -ready way to dispatch him. - -It would be prudent therefore, in an Apothecary, before he lets his Patient -blood, when he is taken sick in a Morning, to examine him well all over, in -order to find out those Eruptions, which denote a Scorbutic Habit of Body. -For if he is ignorant of the Patient's Disorder, and lets him blood, though -he may survive this Operation, he will most likely have such a Fainting, as -to amount to a Fit next Morning; upon which, in his Fright and Hurry, he -will let him blood again, thinking it an Apoplexy. - -I hope the Physical Gentlemen, will not take it amiss that I interfere thus -with their Profession; only, as I have known some Accidents happen in this -Case, by not regular-bred Practioners, I hope they will pardon the Liberty, -which is here taken. - -If any Person should here object, that I have confounded the Land Scurvy -with the Sea Scurvy, without making any Distinction between the two -Disorders; I answer, that though they may be different in some Respects, -yet they are very near related; and moreover, that with Respect to the -Faintings in a Morning, they are the same, and the Faintings proceed from -the same Cause in both. Their Causes may be different, and yet their -Effects be very similar; or, 'till all the Causes of the Sea Scurvy are -clearly found out, it is not possible to say, that they do not both proceed -from the same Cause. For I suppose it will be allowed, that the Land Scurvy -generally proceeds from too high Living, from salt Diet, from too much -animal Food, from too little Exercise, &c. Now let us examine into the Sea -Scurvy. They are subject to these Inconveniences in a greater Degree at Sea -than they are at Land: In the first Place, in long Voyages they have -nothing but salt Provisions; then they have no Greens; all animal Diet, -except a little dried Biscuit; and then though it must be allowed, that in -a Gale of Wind they have Trouble enough to work the Ship, and by that Means -receive proper Exercise, yet at other Times, when they have fallen in with -the Trade Winds, they sometimes have no Employ for Months together; and (by -the bye) any one, who takes Notice of Voyages, will find that it is at -those Times, when the Scurvy does the most Mischief. It is then that the -Ship becomes almost a Prison. For when they go up aloft, the Air, by it's -Friction, braces their Nerves, clears away the bad Vapours, creates an -Appetite, and strengthens their Joints; but when a Ship is going before a -fine Gale of Wind, so steady as the Trade Winds are, the Men have no -Employ, and having no Occasion to go aloft, either loll upon Deck in the -Day-Time, or sleep in their Hammocks at Night. - -We do not insist here, that there is no Difference between the Land and Sea -Scurvy, or that there are no other Reasons for the Sea Scurvy than are here -mentioned. We know that some other Causes are assigned, as the being so -long absent from Land, and thereby receiving none of those Vapours, which, -coming out of the Earth, may be necessary for the Preservation of a Land -Animal, &c. and these Causes likewise may correspond with the former, here -mentioned. - -We shall now beg Leave to offer a little Scheme, for hindering the Progress -of the Sea Scurvy, which however we do not insist upon, having no great -Opinion of any Proposition, which we start new of our own. - -What I would propose is, some Help or Relief to a Ship, when she is on a -long Voyage, and sailing before a Trade Wind, and finds the Scurvy begin to -attack her. In order to which, it will be necessary to say something -concerning the Nature of that Element called the Air. - -Air is an elastic Fluid, as has been observed before, and is subject to an -easy Motion of it's Parts amongst themselves, as all Fluids are. It is -subject to Currents and Eddies, in the same Manner as Water. A Current of -Air is commonly known by the Name of Wind; and the greater Quantity of this -Air or Wind, an Animal who has Organs for the Reception of it, and who -cannot live without it a Moment; the more free Passage (I say) a Current of -Air has, by such an Animal, in Health and Motion, the more wholesome it is -for him. Now, I will endeavour to prove, that a Ship under Sail, before a -Trade Wind, has but little Change of Situation in this Current, -notwithstanding her Motion is so swift, with regard to her Change of Place -upon the Surface of the Earth. - -We will endeavour to explain our Meaning, by a Cork swimming down a current -of Water. - -If any one throws a Cork into a Stream of Water, he will find that the Cork -will be attended, during its Progress down the Stream, by the same -Particles of the Fluid, which it happened to fall upon, when it first set -off; notwithstanding, it changes its Position, with regard to the Surface -of the Earth. This is the Case with a Ship, sailing before the Wind; she -receives nothing near the Quantity of Air, upon her Sides and between her -Decks, in a full Wind, that she does when the Wind is upon her Beam, or on -one Side of her; which may be demonstrated by a second Experiment upon the -Cork in the Water. - -If any one takes a Cork and ties a long Thread to it, and throws it into a -Stream, he will find, that the Cork, when he draws it sideways along the -Stream, changes its Place in the Water every Inch he draws it. This is so -plain, that there is no Occasion to say any more about it; and we humbly -apprehend, that the Case would be the same, with regard to a Ship which is -sailing before the Wind, or going down a Current of Air. We do alledge, -that the fresh Air running between the Decks of a Ship, would sweeten and -clear away the bad Vapours and Filth from the Men in her, as much more in -the Position of a Side-Wind, as a Stream of Water would wash more Dirt off -a Cork, if it was drawn sideways along it by a Thread, than if it was -suffered to swim down by itself. For the Motion of a good Ship, when she -has all her Sails up in a moderate Gale before the Wind, is very near, if -not quite as swift as the Wind itself. - -Therefore, what I would advance here is, that as the Sea Scurvy in long -Voyages proceeds as much from the Confinement of a Ship, as from any other -Cause, may it not be deemed reasonable, that any Scheme, which serves to -make a more free Current of Air through a Ship, may be a great Hindrance to -the Progress of the Scurvy? - -The Scheme is only this plain and easy one, viz. that when a Ship is upon a -long Voyage, before a Trade Wind, the Captain once a Day should give -Orders, to lay her upon a Side-Wind, or a Quarters Wind, if he thinks it -more safe, for about a League or two, during which Tack, he may open the -Port-holes of her Windward Side; and after going a League or two in that -Manner, she might be tacked about and laid upon her other Side; and by -doing this, he would sweeten every Corner of the Ship, and at the same Time -exercise his Men. Now, though this Practice would retard him a little in -his Voyage, would it not be better to lose a little Time, and bring a -Ship's Crew Home in tolerable good Plight, than to have half of them dead, -before they get to the End of their Voyage? I am far from insisting, that -this Scheme would answer the End; all that I know is, that if I was Captain -of a Ship, I would try; and if it answered no End, it would but be leaving -it off afterwards. And I hope the Sea Gentlemen will not be angry at this -little Essay, as it is wrote for the Sake of their Health and -Constitutions. - -They know very well, that Wind travels much slower than is imagined by the -Generality of Landmen; which brings me to another Error, (viz.) - - XIV. - - _That nothing which moves upon the Surface of the Earth, is so swift as - the Wind._ - -Though, in a Storm, Wind moves with a great Velocity, yet in a moderate -Gale, it is nothing near so swift as is generally apprehended. - -The Ancients were so wrapped up in their Opinion of the Swiftness of Wind, -that they were sure to introduce it as a Simile, when they intended to -describe any Thing that was rapid in it's Motion. - -Horace, for one, was so fond of it, that he has introduced it into his -elegant Ode, _Otium Divos_, &c. - - _Scandit aeratas vitiosa Naves,_ - _Cura; nec Turmas Equitum relinquit_ - _Ocyor Cervis et agente Nymbos_ - _Ocyor Euro._ - -However, one would think, that if he was determined to compare Wind to an -Idea or Sensation in the human Mind, he might have thought of one more -swift in it's Motions. For though the East Wind is a heavy Wind, and lays -very keen Hold of a Sail, as being cold, and therefore more condensed, and -moving with greater Moment, on Account of it's Weight; yet I am very much -mistaken if we have any East Winds, that travel near so fast as the -South-West Winds which we have in March; nay, so far is it from being -swift, that when it is set in, we may feel it blow against our Bodies, with -a more steady, slow Motion than any other; and it is reasonable to suppose, -that it ought to move slower according to the Rules of Philosophy: For the -Barometer shews, that the colder the Air is, the more it weighs; and a -heavy Body takes more Time in changing it's Place, by a Force or Cause, -than a light one. - -However, we will not tax Horace with Impropriety, in so fine an Ode; as we -do not know, what the East Winds may be in Italy. They had not the German -Ocean to pass over, before they came to Horace, and may be warm, light, and -soft, in that Country. - -But to return: There are many Things upon the Surface of the Earth, -(without being obliged to have Recourse to the extraordinary Velocity of -Light) which move faster than the Wind. We have no Occasion to go any -further than the Flight of a Pigeon, or a Swallow, even for a Storm; which -we may observe, by the Motion of light Bodies, such as Feathers and Straws, -which have no Power to resist it's Force, and must be hurried away with the -same Velocity as the Wind itself. We may easily try the Experiment, by -throwing Feathers from off a Church Steeple, or any high Place; and we -shall find, that though they will be hurried off at a great Rate, yet not -so swift as a Pigeon upon her full Stretch. Those who are at Sea have a -much better Opportunity of observing it's Motions than Landmen: Nothing is -more common, than to see that the Wind has chopped about, by it's Action -upon the Sails of a Ship at great Distance off; and it is a long Time -before it reaches the Sails of the Ship from whence it is first discovered; -and even when a Storm is seen coming at a Distance, they have Time enough -to reeve the Sails, and lie in a Posture to receive it. It would be very -easy at Land, to take an exact Measure of the Velocity of any Wind, by -watching it when it first comes. It might be done in this Manner, viz. by -taking the exact Distance of all the Churches in the Neighbourhood from -each other, and setting Flags upon the Steeples of those which stand easy -to be seen, and which are in different Directions; after which, a Person -might go up to the Top of one which stood in the middle of them, with a -Telescope, and as soon as he saw the Flags upon any of the Steeples at a -Distance move from the Directions which they stood in when he first -ascended the Steeple, he might be certain of a fresh Gale being come, and -that it had just then reached that Steeple. Upon seeing this, all that he -would have to do would be, to look at his Watch and by that Means he would -know how fast the Gale of Wind had travelled, by observing how many Miles -it had gone in such a Time. For by observing the Flag on the Steeple at a -Distance, he might know when it had reached that Place, and by the Flag -upon the Steeple where the Observer himself stood, he might see when it -reached him, and by his Watch he might know how long it had been coming. - - * * * * * - - XV. - - _That there is now, or ever was, such a Science as Astrology._ - -Reader, when thou dost peruse this Book, I would have thee sensible of the -intrinsic Value of Truth; one single Page of this inestimable Commodity, is -worth a Thousand Volumes of Lies. I do not intend to impose upon thee, and -lead thee astray, and laugh at thee afterwards; even as the Egyptian -Priests of old did deceive their Flock, and at the same Time did laugh at -them, for worshiping the monstrous Idols, which were the Compositions of -their own Craft. Thou wouldest hardly believe that these Idolaters were so -grossly imposed upon, as to be induced to worship Garlick and Onions; and -yet, we have Accounts, that if the Priests of those Times did fix their -Eyes upon a good Crop of those Vegetables, they could very easily rank them -amongst the Number of their Gods; and, by that Means, render them unlawful -to be handled by any one, except themselves. What might be their Intent, in -such a Case, we will not presume to determine, but leave it to thy own -superior Judgment. - -Indeed, thou mayest think thyself happy, in being a Native of a Country, -where the exact Boundary is fixed to every one's Property; and where, -though when thou dost endeavour to defend thy Right, thou wilt find some -who are ready to go Halves with thee, yet, thou mayest in Time hinder thy -Adversary from enjoying what is thy Due. - -And moreover, thou mayest think thyself very comfortable, that thou dost -breathe in so free an Air, where thou hast the refreshing Liberty of -hearkening to Reason, and of thinking as thou dost like best; for if thou -didst live in some Countries, thou wouldest find, that thou must either -think as others please to dictate to thee, or else keep thy Thoughts to -thyself; otherwise, it had been better for thee, if thou hadst never been -able to come at the Knowledge of Truth, and had been as ignorant as those -Idolatrous Egyptians before mentioned; who, while their Priests were -studying the real Science of Astronomy, kept the Laity in the dark, and -amused them with the false Science of Astrology; making them believe that -they could foretell all Things which should happen to them and their -Families, by their Knowledge of the Stars; and persuading them, that the -Stars had an Influence upon the Lives and Fortunes of Individuals; -introducing the Jargon of being born under particular Planets, and the -like. To all which their Impositions they gained the greater Credit, by -being able to calculate, and therefore to foretell the Eclipses of the Sun -and Moon; which Phenomena of Nature they used to explain so as to answer -their own sinister Views; construing the common Motions and Appearances of -the Heavenly Bodies, into Prodigies and Wonders; fortelling the Deaths of -those they hated, and taking the Opportunity of that Time of Consternation, -to dispatch them, in order to make their Words prove true. I tell thee, -Reader, thou art happy in being a Native of a Country where thou art not -deceived by the false Science of Astrology; and where any one who -understands it, whether Priest or Layman, will shew thee as much of the -real Science of Astronomy, as thou desirest to learn, for a Bottle or two -of Wine, with all his Heart; well knowing, that it will be a Means to give -thee a more sublime Notion of the Supreme Being: For the more thou dost -contemplate the vast Machinery of the Heavenly Bodies, and the exact Time -which they keep in their Revolutions, the more thou wilt be convinced of -the immense Contrivance of Him who laid the Foundation of the Heavens. - - * * * * * - - XVI. - - _Most Londoners are mistaken when they think that they have Wit enough - to impose upon Countrymen._ - -This Error chiefly proceeds from the outward Appearance of Countrymen, when -they arrive at the Metropolis. They are struck with the Grandeur of the -Place, and on that Account keep their Heads up in the Air, as if they were -contemplating some Phoenomenon in the Heavens. Then their Cloaths, being -calculated for Strength and Wear, are spun thick, which gives them a stiff, -awkward Gait, and this is not a little augmented by the robust Labour which -they daily undergo, and the great Burthens, of different Sorts, which they -are continually obliged to bear, through the Course of their Farming -Business. This Aukwardness, joined to an Absence, which the Contemplation -of any Thing fine is sure to beget, makes high Diversion for the Londoners, -and they are apt to put many Tricks upon them, as Clowns, which the -Countrymen (being Strangers to the Place) easily fall into; upon which -Account, those Urban Mobility, are apt to tax them with Want of Quickness -of Apprehension. - -But, O _Cives!_ let us first examine into the real State of the Case, and -make a little Allowance for Robin's Parallax, before we are too hard upon -his Abilities. I tell thee, your right Clown is the sharpest Fellow in the -World; and if thou hadst any Dealings with him in his own Way, thou -wouldest soon find him so, to thy Cost. If he came from _Yerkshire_, thou -wouldest have no Chance with him, And we humbly conceive, that it is upon -this Account that Countrymen have the Name of Clowns given them: For we -take the Original Meaning of a Clown to be, one who is a quick, bright, -witty Fellow, who puts on the Appearance of Folly, while his Head is at -Work to deceive you. Such as these were Shakespeare's Clowns, who knew the -Meaning of the Word too well to make Fools of them. These were the Fellows -that he has employed, when there was any Business to dispatch, which -required more than ordinary Address and Secresy in the Management of it, -and who were to make Diversion to crowned Heads by the Sprightliness of -their Wit. So that we apprehend the Word Clown, in it's original Meaning, -does not signify an aukward Lout, but a bright, quick Fellow, who does more -by his natural Parts, than by the Help of Education. From hence it was that -Countrymen came to be called Clowns. They were found, upon Examination, to -be much brighter and sharper than they appeared to be at first Sight. - -We have a true Specimen of one of these Kind of Geniuses, in _The Journey -to London_, in the Character of John Moody; who, though he was bewildered -in the Hurry and Bustle of London, and broke his Coach, and lost his -Monkey, yet we find John has Sense enough to make just Observations upon -his Master's Conduct, as well as his Mistress's; and, no Doubt, had John -been a real Character, instead of a fictitious one, he would have wished in -his Heart, that he had had the Offender, who broke his Coach, before his -Master as a Justice of the Peace, at his own Quarter Sessions in the -Borough of Guzzledown; for if he had once got him there, whether the -Accident which befel the Carriage, was occasioned by his own aukward -driving on the wrong Side of the Street, or whether the Fellow did it on -Purpose, would have been all one in the Borough of Guzzledown. The Breaking -his Worship's Coach, would have been sufficient to have had him sent to -Limbo. - - * * * * * - - XVII. - - _That a Pointer, if he lifts up his Foot, when he comes upon Game, does - it in order to shew his Master the Spot where the Birds lie._ - -This is so well known to be an Error, that no Person, who is a Sportsman, -need be informed of the Mistake, with any other Design, than by Way of -Ridicule. It truly deserves the Name of a Vulgar Error: However, we shall -put in a Word or two concerning the Nature of Pointers, and explain by what -Means they arrive at such Perfection, as to point at a Partridge for two -Hours together; as it will be necessary, in order to confute the Error. - -There are different Kinds of Pointers, some are of Spanish Extraction, some -Portuguese, some French, and I have lately heard of a rough Breed from -Germany; in the West of England, and in Wales, they make them of English -Spaniels, but as that is done by meer Dint of Correction, we shall pass -them over in Silence; though they are esteemed excellent when they are well -broke. - -What we shall endeavour to explain is, how it comes to pass, that a real -true bred Pointer, shall point or stand at his Game, for a short Time, -without having any Instructions given him at all by any Person. - -I apprehend, that a Pointer, if he was in a State of Nature, wild in the -Woods and Fields, would procure his Sustenance in this Manner: He would -beat about, till he came upon the Scent of something which struck him -considerably, and seemed worth his Attention; after which he would, by the -Direction of the Scent, creep a little nearer, till he found himself quite -certain that he was very near some Game; upon which, such is the vast -Pleasure which this Animal receives from the Sensation of Smelling, his -Limbs are seized with a Sort of Convulsion, which causes him to make a full -Stop, for a short Time, not only in order to contemplate his agreeable -Situation, but likewise to consider, how he may best make such a sure Leap -as to seize on his Prey. - -Reader, when thou art hungry, and art going about thy Business in Haste -thro' the City, did the savoury Effluvia which arises from roast Beef never -strike thy olfactory Nerves? Yes, no Doubt, thou hast been so agreeably -accosted; thou hast made a full Stop; thou hast been so captivated with the -Odour thereof, that thou hast begun to consider, even like a Pointer, how -to seize upon this thy Game. If thou hast ever had such an Accident, thou -mayest easily know the Situation of a Pointer, by consulting thy own -Breast. It will be objected, that a Pointer wild in the Woods, could not -support himself, at all Times of the Year, by catching Game. In answer to -which, I say, that it is the Cold which hinders the Game from breeding -continually. Now in Portugal, and those other warm Countries, of which -these Dogs are Natives, the Objection of Cold is removed, and for that -Reason there always will be, either young Partridges, or Young Pheasants, -or Leverets, &c. upon which a Pointer might live all the Year round, though -the old ones would prove too quick for him. It will be no Objection, -neither, to say, that a true bred Pointer will not break or tear his Game; -for that is owing to the Care which is taken, not to let him play with a -Bird too long, after it is shot, when he is first entered; for if once a -Dog has a Taste of the Blood, and gets a Habit of breaking his Game, it -will be almost impossible to cure him of it again. - -It is the Nature of most Animals of Prey, to play with their Game before -they devour it. Every one must have observed how a Cat plays with a Mouse, -before she dispatches it: It is a Kind of a Suspension of the Pleasure, -which they promise themselves, in the devouring so delicious a Morsel. And -though Human Nature is apt to reflect upon the other Parts of the Creation -for Cruelty, he is not a bit better himself; for what Angler is not -sensible of the high Pleasure of having a Trout at his Line? which he -suffers to flounce and spring in the Water much longer than he has -Occasion, to which violent Pain and Fright of the Fish he gives the Name of -fine Sport. Not to mention hunting an Animal to Death by Inches, with -Hounds, when he might take a Gun, and dispatch it in a Second. The Truth -is, no Animal can be taxed with Cruelty, so long as he pursues the Dictates -of his Nature. - -Since then it is the Nature of most Animals to play with their Game before -they dispatch it, we may conclude, that if a young Pointer does not devour -his Game when it is shot to him, it is only because we do not give him Time -enough, and that, like other Animals of Prey, it is not his Manner to do it -immediately. - -Having shewn that a Pointer is an Animal whose Prey is Game, we may -conclude, that a young Dog makes that sudden Stop when he comes upon Game, -for the same Reason that a Cat stops before she leaps upon a Sparrow; viz. -that he may dart the surer upon them when he does leap. - -As to the Article of holding up his Foot, it entirely depends upon what -Position his Legs happen to be in, when his Nose first catches the full -Scent of the Birds; he stands in a convulsed Situation; and whatever -Posture a Leg is in, at the Time of his first being sure of the Scent, in -that Attitude he remains, whether his Leg happens to be lifted up or on the -Ground. So that if he does lift up his Leg, when he points at the Game, it -is not in order to shew his Master the Spot where they lie, as some have -imagined, but is entirely accidental. - - * * * * * - - XVIII. - - _That the Way to make Boys learn their Books, is to keep them in School - all Day, and whip them._ - -Though the Examples which we have of the Behaviour of the Ancient Worthies -and Heroes, shew, that neither Bonds nor Imprisonment can abate the -Intrepidity of a Man of true Courage; Yet, to Mankind in general, and -especially to those who are but of tender Years, Imprisonment and Scourging -together, are most likely to blunt the Understanding, and take off the Edge -of the Genius. And indeed, the Mistake of imprisoning Boys in a School, for -whole Days together, is practised only in Country Schools, where the -Masters of them know no better. At Eaton and Westminster, that foolish -Custom has been abolished for some Time; at Eaton especially, they perfect -themselves in their Lessons out of School, and only come into School to -repeat them. And, not to mention, how greatly the fresh Air contributes -towards clearing the Head, as all Students must have observed; the very -Thoughts of Liberty, and the knowing that after they have done with their -Lessons, they can follow their Amusements, is enough to make them apply -with double Diligence to what they are about: It is a Kind of Fighting for -Liberty in that Case. Whereas, when a Boy is confined to School for a whole -Day together, he has no Encouragement to exert himself in the Cause of -Liberty; for when he has fought his Battle bravely, and gone through all -the Dangers of his Campaign, he is no nearer to his wished-for Mark, -Liberty, than the dullest Boy at the lower End of School. But this leads me -to another Error, (viz.) - - XIX. - - _That clogging their Parts with long Grammar Rules, will make them - bright Scholars._ - -This Practice too begins to be left off in the great Schools. I remember, -when I was a Boy, though I was exceedingly well grounded, and had the whole -Scheme of the Grammar quite clear in my Head; yet they thought proper to -torment me a long Time, with Rules at the End of the Syntax. - -There was licet, and there was decet, and taedet, and oportet, and nocet, -and Abundance more, Verbs Impersonal, that ought to be tied upon a String, -like the Roman-Catholic Beads, before they are given to Boys to get by -Heart, without any Connection between them. I was in Phaedrus's Fables, and -should have known any of these independent Gentry, if I had met them singly -in any Country in Europe, without being tormented with them alltogether. - -Such Methods as these, are apt to make a Boy apprehend, that the Intention -of Grammar is meerly to give Trouble, and perplex; without any View of -Advantage, which may hereafter arise from such an intense Application. - -And indeed, whatever the Intent of them may be, a Lad of such a Persuasion, -would not be much mistaken, with regard to the Effect they have. - -It must be a very different Kind of Genius, which can attain to the -Repetition of dull Grammar Rules, from one, who has Fire enough to digest -the Beauty of such Lines as these: - - _Consedere Duces, et Volgi stante Corona,_ - _Surgit ad hos Clypei Dominus septemplicis Ajax;_ - _Utque erat impatiens irae, Sigeia torvo_ - _Littora respexit, Classemque in Littora Vultu_, &c. - Ovid Metam. - -By letting him taste a little of the Kernel, without keeping him too long -in the disagreeable Part of getting off the Outside of the Walnut, he would -make a much quicker Progress; as he would find, that the Trouble he had -underwent would be rewarded with such Pleasure, as nothing but the Idea of -Business, or Force, which accompanies it, could render tiresome. It will be -objected here, that nothing can be done without these Grammar Rules, and -that however disagreeable they may be, they are what must be gone through, -in order to make good Scholars. To which I answer, First, that common -Grammar not only may be, but is, contracted into a much less Compass than -is generally made use of. Nay, I will go farther: A certain Clergyman, -whose Name it is needless to mention here, was determined to try if he -could not teach a Boy Latin and Greek, without any Grammar at all; and he -chose to try the Experiment first upon his own Son, who seems to be about -twelve Years of Age. The Boy can now construe any Latin or Greek, that is -tolerably easy, very readily. And I make no Doubt, but as the World grows -wiser, they will reduce Grammar into a shorter Compass still than ever has -been done yet. The Grounds of Musick, are to the full as dry as the Rules -of Latin Grammar; and it was formerly a great Work to teach Youth the Rules -of Composition; Nevertheless, they have lately found out a much shorter Way -of going to Work, and every one now begins to have a little Smattering of -Composition; which they attain to by reading those little Pamphlets, which -have been wrote lately upon that Subject. - -I heard a Gentleman say, that he learned more of Composition, by reading a -little short Thing of Pasquali's, than he could acquire by having a Master, -who taught by the old Method, in a couple of Years: It is the very same in -Grammar, and indeed, it is the same in all Sciences. There is an easy Way -of doing every Thing, if we could but find it out; and if any Thing appears -difficult, it is, because we are in a wrong Method. - - * * * * * - - XX. - - _That teaching Boys Bawdy Books, will make them religious Men and good - Clergymen._ - -Though most of the greatest Geniusses among the Ancients, have touched upon -that String; and though, reading the Works of the great Poets, who have -wrote in that Style, does ripen the Genius, and teach Lads an elegant -Expression, as well as set them forward in the Languages; yet, I cannot -come into the Opinion, that Youth, especially those who are intended for -the Church, should be suffered to read the Composition of such a Master of -Intrigue, as Ovid; or some of the Odes of such a Libertine, as Horace. - -An English Reader will understand my Meaning, when I tell him, that some of -the common School-books, which Boys learn at the Age of Sixteen, are more -lewd than any Thing in Rochester's Poems. - -For though this Lord was pretty plain in his Expressions, and his -Composition is quite _Spiritoso_, yet his Works may rather be said to -instruct a Person in the Science of Wickedness, than to stir him up to it. - -The Case is very different with regard to such a Writer as Ovid. He had the -great Advantage of calling in the Religion of the Times to his Assistance, -when he had a mind to be more wicked than ordinary: He could make the most -lewd and profligate Scenes appear sacred Mysteries, by giving them the -pious Title of the Rites of Venus. Then there is a Softness through all his -Works, which attacks the Heart with a seeming harmless Familiarity, and -differs very much from the Air of Rochester; whose Strokes may be compared -to the smutty ones which Hogarth has given us, in some of his Paintings; -while those of Ovid have the alluring Attitude of a Venus de Medicis. - -Pardon, Reader, if I transgress a little, by owning, that I have seen such -a Book as Rochester's Poems long ago; and you will the more easily excuse -me, when I tell you, that I was taught such a Book as Ovid at School. What -has been said about these Books, is intended to shew the Impropriety of -using such Authors in a School: And a Clergyman need not be ashamed of -owning, that he has read even an Atheistical Book: For how should any -Person be able to confute an Author, unless he first peruses his Work, in -order to know the Fallacy of the Arguments, which are made use of in it? -After that, he may fairly endeavour to say something against it, but not -before. - -What I would here urge is, that Boys might have many entertaining, useful -Books put into their Hands, which may be very elegant, and yet very -innocent; without stirring up their Passions to a higher Pitch, than Nature -has intended, by letting them into the History of the Amours which were -carried on among the ancient Romans, who were, if possible, more lascivious -than the modern; as Rome was at that Time of a larger Extent, and more -wealthy, and consequently more able to carry on the Schemes of Vice, than -at present. - -When Ovid wrote, the Romans might be said to be at the Height of their -Luxury, in which they were not a little improved by their Eastern -Expeditions. And tho' Ovid's Epistles, which are more usually taught at -School, than his other Works, are modest enough in themselves, and would be -proper enough for grown up People to read, being nothing but a polite -Correspondence between Lovers of Distinction; yet there is something so -tender in the Style of them, that they are apt to give Youth a Turn for -Love Affairs, rather sooner than they would have, if Nature was left to -itself. - -For tho' the Soil of England is fertile, and it may be called a fine, -flourishing Country; yet, the Weather we have here is rough most Part of -the Year, and in many Parts of it, the Air is chill, and unwholesome; and -on that Account, nothing but the hardy Diversions, which are generally -followed by Youth, such as Hunting, and the like, can ever keep them in -Health. Excess of Venery would agree much better with any Constitution, in -the soft Atmospere of Italy, than amongst the rough Blasts of Old England; -so that if we give way so their Vices, we shall soon find that our -Constitutions will not endure any such Excess of Pleasure, as the Italians -are able to sustain more easily on Account of the Mildness of their -Climate, and the Frame of their Constitutions. Not that I would be thought -to justify Lewdness and Debauchery in Italy, any more than in England. I -only endeavour to shew the double Impropriety of suffering English Youth, -to be acquainted with the Vices of the Italians. - -I am for having an Edition of Horace printed, which shall contain only such -of his Odes as do not touch upon the Affair of Love. It is in vain to say -that Boys need only be taught the modest Part of his Works; for if they are -taught only the modest Odes by their Masters, they will be sure to read the -bawdy ones by themselves. - -But if I was to offer ever so many just Reasons, for the Confirmation of -what has been here said, I am afraid it would be exceeding difficult to -persuade any one to leave a Track, which they have long been used to. - - * * * * * - - XXI. - - _That the present Age is a duller Age, and less ingenious, than those - which are past._ - -This Error is owing to those Harangues, which the old People entertain -their Posterity with, over the Fire in the Winter, about what was done in -their Time, and what clever Fellows they themselves were in their Youth, -and how much the Age declines, &c. In short, an old Man, as Horace -describes him, is _Laudator Temporis acti se Puero_. But we must beg Leave -to tell these venerable Declaimers, that however they may be wrapped up in -the Greatness of their own Exploits, England never could boast a brighter -Age, nor perhaps so bright a one, as she can at present; and we challenge -any one who contradicts it, to tell us, if the Ancients were greater -Geniusses than the Moderns, in what Art or Science it was, that they did so -greatly outstrip us. Perhaps such a Person might begin first, and say, that -they excelled us greatly in Carving and Painting. With regard to these I -acquiesce, and do acknowledge, that the Art of Carving is not in such -Perfection as in former Ages, because it is not practised, and is not the -present fashionable Ornament of Houses; and we do likewise acknowledge, -that the Art of Painting on Glass is very near lost, and is not likely to -be revived whilst the Window-tax continues. - -We agree, I say, that the Arts of Carving, and Painting upon Glass, are -almost extinct; and allowing that former Ages excelled the present in -Painting in general, yet, What are these few Polite Arts? They are quite -insignificant, when compared to the vast Improvements, which have been made -in many other really useful Branches: In Agriculture, in Navigation, in -War, in gaining Settlements in foreign Countries, in Trading to those -Settlements, in Printing, in carrying on Correspondence by Posts, in Roads, -in Carriages, in the Breed of Horses, in Manufactures, and in numberless -other Articles, too tedious to mention. - -It must be acknowledged, that for all these Improvements, we are obliged to -the Arts and Sciences. They are as it were the first moving Force of Power -in any Country; and if we take a Survey of all the Nations of the Earth, we -shall find, that those Monarchs, who encourage Learning, and support -Academies, are able to extend their Dominions farther than those, who, by a -total Attention to Military Discipline, (though even that too depends upon -the Sciences) neglect the Cultivation of that Learning, upon the Support of -which, the Extension of their Dominions to foreign Parts depends. It is to -the Invention of Astronomers, Mechanics, and Opticians, that we owe the -principal Instruments, which are made Use of in Navigation; to their -Ingenuity we owe the Quadrant, without which we should never know our -Latitude; to these we are indebted for the Telescope, by which we discover -Jupiter's Satellites, and find out our Longitude; to these we owe the -Explanation of the Compass; to these the Contrivances of Pullies, by which -we hale up our Tackling. In short, all the Inventions, which we find in the -different Machines made Use of, either by Land or Water, though by long Use -they are become familiar in the Hands of illiterate Persons, were no doubt -originally contrived by the Study and Ingenuity of Men of Science at Home. -And if Nature should shew her dislike to a Stagnation, and express her -wonted Approbation of a Vicissitude in Human Affairs; who knows, but when -the Sciences are forgot in this Kingdom, and we, by that Means, lose the -Art of exerting that Force, which must keep up the Dignity of England over -her Colonies; who knows (which Heaven avert!) but America may see herself -the Mistress of the World, and the Seat of Empire, whilst we are reduced -once more to the State of unletter'd Savages; and shall in vain discharge -our feeble Arrows, and cast our ill-directed Javelins, against the Sides of -their perhaps Five Hundred Gun Ships of War: Or the great Mogul, with his -prodigious Armies, for Want of these Arts and Sciences abovementioned, and -for no other Reason, may one Day or other find himself dethroned by a -Prince, who will be able to reach him, though his Dominions do lie on the -other Side of an unfathomable Sea. - -And if these Vicissitudes should in Process of Time happen, they will be no -other than what have been before. What is become of Palmyra? Where is Troy? -The stately Palaces of Troy are removed into the peaceful Habitation of the -once Arcadian Shepherds. And if the Disposer of all Things should so order -it, Daphnis and Menalcas, may again sing their rural Songs on the very -Spot, where now the Seraglio of the Grand Signior seems to bid Defiance to -a whole Continent. - -Though there is a large Scope for Dissertation, on the various Improvements -of different Kinds, which have been made in almost all Branches, both of -Science and Commerce, it cannot be expected, (even supposing the Author -capable of such a Task) that they should all be brought into a Work of this -Nature, as we have already enlarged more upon this Subject, than was at -first intended. However, as it is a disputed Point, whether the Science of -Music is improved or not, we shall beg Leave to say a little upon that -Subject. And as Music is a Science, which, though it is not equal to some -others in Utility, falls short of none, for the innocent Entertainment -which it affords to those, who are so happy as to be formed by Nature, with -Organs for the Enjoyment of it; we will venture to make it the Subject of -the next Chapter. And we think it is an Error to affirm, - - XXII. - - _That the Musical Composition of this present Age is inferior to that - of the last._ - -Though we are very sensible that we shall have a Multitude of Mouths open -against us, for being so hardy as to assert what will be the Contents of -this Chapter, and shall be exclaimed against by many, who never yet came to -the Knowledge of any other Music than Corelli's Sonatas, which must indeed -be allowed to be almost the Foundation of Music; and though all those -Performers who live in the Country, and either through Business at Home, or -other Reasons, have not had the Opportunity of hearing the best modern -Music performed in Town, and having tried some of the worst of it over by -themselves, upon their Instruments, and finding the Execution of it too -difficult for their Performance, on Account of their being unacquainted -with the modern Manner of bowing and fingering, together with a total -Mistake of the Air and Manner, in which the Composition set before them -ought to be played: All these Obstacles put together, I say, are apt to -induce such, as are not very ready at Sight, and labour under the aforesaid -Inconveniences, to pronounce all Modern Music, of what Kind soever, (taking -it all in the Lump, as one would do Soap or Tallow) to be exceeding bad and -foolish, and therefore not worth a Gentleman's Attention. - -Now begging Pardon first, for the ill Manners of Contradiction, I shall -take the liberty to offer a few reasonable Arguments, to shew, that tho' -there has lately been a great deal of very bad Music performed, yet there -has likewise been published a great Variety of exceeding fine Composition. - -Without mentioning the Names of the Composers, or the Names of their Music, -we shall endeavour to give some substantial Reasons, why the present -Composition, should excel that of those, who wrote in those Times when -Masters were but newly become acquainted with the Laws of Harmony. - -The Case is the same in Music as it is in all other Matters; we find that -all Arts have the greater Improvements made in them, the longer they have -been introduced into any Country, and the more they are followed. This is -natural; because the more Hands a Science has to go through, the greater -Chance it has to meet with Men of Ingenuity in its Progress, who may -forward it towards Perfection. What a sorry Appearance would an ancient -Galley make against one of our First-rate Men of War, either in Sailing or -Fighting? Or if it had been possible for Julius Caesar, with all his -Romans, when they invaded Britain, to have met with a Forty Gun Ship, they -would have been all sunk by a few Broad Sides. This is a Truth that every -one will acknowledge; and it is as true, that the present Musicians do very -much excel those who lived some Time ago. - -Masters of Music, by Practice, have lately found out a better, easier, and -stronger Way of Performing upon their several Instruments, than was -formerly known; and to this new and better Method of Performance they have -composed suitable Music, which admits of greater Execution, greater Variety -of Expression, and a better Tone, than could be brought out of Instruments -before such Improvements were made. And we find that Geminiani, who was a -close Follower of Corelli, has thought proper to make Concertos of what -Corelli intended for Solos; well knowing, that though the Ground of them -was exceeding fine, yet they were very capable of being improved by adding -Parts to them, and adorning them with what might be called, at that Time, -modern Embellishments and Graces. - -And if one of so small Judgment as myself, may say any Thing about the -Composition of so great a Genius as Geminiani, I will venture to think, -that we have Masters now living, who are capable of taking some of the -ancient Stiffness of Style from that great Composer, and giving him a more -easy, free, and flowing Air; without taking from the Greatness of the -Subject, or varying from the Groundwork of the Harmony, in the least. - -For the Intent of Music is not to puzzle People's Heads, by consisting of -intricate Harmony, and stiff Mathematical Transitions from one Key to -another; by that Means, it would become the most dry and insipid of all -Sciences, and fit for none but Pedants. No, the sole Intent of Music is to -give Pleasure, which it is more likely to do, by the Freedom and Ease of -its Transitions, and the Softness of its flowing Numbers, than by a stiff, -starched, and over formal Composition. - -The present Musicians excel the ancient ones, as much as the modern Ladies -do those of former Times in Dress; and their Compositions differ as much -from those which were played some Time ago, as the elegant Ease of a modern -Lady's Shape, excels the stiff Stays and monstrous Hoop Petticoats of those -who had the Honour to be the Grand-mothers of the present Age; and which -are apt to give us the Idea of an Engagement of a different Nature from one -where Cupid is supposed to preside: It rather puts us in Mind of something -Martial, and makes us almost ready to apprehend we are going to exchange -Hardiment, as Shakespeare calls it, instead of railing our Expectations -into a Duel of another Nature. - -Having now shewn our utter Aversion to Stays, we will return to our -Subject. And we hope the Reader will pardon the Digression, as this is not -the first Time that a Pair of Stays have made a Man turn out of his Road. - -But there is another Reason why the modern Music should excel the ancient; -and that is, the Difference in the Make and and Length of the Bow with -which a Violin is struck. Violins are the Sinews of a Concert; they are, as -it were, the main Body of a Band of Music; they are the Roman Legions of -the Army; while the other Instruments are Slingers, Archers, and -Light-horse. Now in the Time of Corelli, who must be allowed to be the -Father of Harmony, the Bows were not above half so long as they are at -present, neither were they so well shaped, either at the Heel or Point, nor -had they the Spring which the Bows now made have. So that a Piece of Music -which is calculated for the modern Manner of Bowing, could not have gone -off so well in former Times: They had not the Power of swelling a Note out, -in Imitation of the Human Voice, which may be done with a modern Bow; and -the old Bows were so aukwardly made, that they could not be held at the -End, but were obliged to be kept in a Kind of Ballance towards the Middle; -and we may guess what spudding Work it must be, when there were not above a -Couple of Inches in a Bow which could be conveniently used. However, these -little short Bows suited very well for even Semiquavers and Quavers, of -which we find the old Music chiefly to consist. So that we by no Means call -in Question the Abilities of the Composers who lived at that Time; since it -appears, that they composed their Music suitable to the Instruments which -they had to perform it upon. No; we have a due Reverence for the Memory of -those very great Geniusses; and are fully persuaded, that if it was -possible for them to live again, with the Advantages which the Moderns -enjoy the Benefit of, they would excel not only what they have done -themselves, but likewise what any one else has done. - - * * * * * - - XXIII. - - _That the Hearing of Musical Performances, is apt to soften Men too - much, and by that Means, to give them an effeminate Manner._ - -Whether this Error proceeds from the Idea of that Facility with which Music -is able to stir up a Variety of Passions in the Heart, annexed to the Idea -of that Disposition which appears to be stronger in Women than in Man, and -is called the Weakness of the Sex; or whether it proceeds from a Notion -that Pity and Sorrow, and the like, are Passions which are not worthy the -Breast of a Man, and are only fit for the timorous Constitution of Women, -it favours equally of Absurdity and Barbarity in both Cases. - -For so far is Pity from denoting any Cowardice or Effeminacy, that it is a -certain Indication of a great Soul; we find it frequently mentioned among -the most conspicuous Virtues, with which the Heroes among the Ancients were -said to be endued. And with regard to the Passions, which are raised by -Music in the Heart it depends upon the Nicety of the Feelings in the Nerves -of the Hearer; and we cannot help observing, that Men of the greatest -Sensibility are generally Persons of the strictest Honour and the most -exalted Courage. - -As for those who are so unfortunate as not to be formed by Nature for the -Reception of harmonious Sounds, we do not entirely give them up: But we -refer the Reader to a Passage, which he will find in the Merchant of -Venice, and which, tho' the Observation may hold good in some Cases, yet, -we must beg to be excused inserting the Words here, as we think the Remark -is rather too severe and too general, and was introduced by the Poet -chiefly with an Intent to set his malicious Jew off in the most odious -Light, who had been declaring, that he detested the vile Squeaking of the -Wry-neck'd Fife, and ordered his [1]Windows to be shut up, that the Sound -of them might not be heard in his House. And if the old Poet is a little -severe in this Place, he does it principally with an Intention to divest -the Audience of any Compassion, which might otherwise be stirred up in -their Minds by the Misfortunes which will attend Shylock in the following -Scenes; and by that Means the Plot turns out according to the Wish of the -Spectators. This is one of those Preparations of the ensuing Scene for -which Shakespeare is so notorious, and which may be observed in all his -Plays. But to return to our Subject; it seems that those People who have -Organs for the Reception of Musical Sounds, are affected with such Passions -as the Composer of good Music intends to excite in them. And we believe -that the Constitution of a Hearer may be moulded and formed into various -Shapes by the different Airs which he hears; and moreover, if a Person was -always to be accustomed to soft, effeminate Music, we agree that it might -render his Constitution effeminate likewise; but as there are such great -Variety of different Movements, which are adapted to different Songs, all -which raise different Passions in the Mind, it is very absurd to tax all -Music in the Lump with Softness and Effeminacy. - -Any one may perceive the Difference of these two Songs, both of which have -their Effect when they are well sung. - - _Gently touch the warbling Lyre,_ - _Cloe seems inclin'd to rest;_ - _Fill her Soul with fond Desire,_ - _Softest Notes will please her best._ - -These Words, which are sung to an Air of Geminiani's, cause a very -different Sensation, from these which follow, and are set to a suitable -Air: - - _Come cheer up my Lads, 'tis to Glory we steer &c._ - -Whatever the first Song may do, this last is not likely to make any Body -effeminate. I mention these two common Songs, because they are what every -Reader is capable of digesting, and on that Account are more proper for the -Purpose than any of those Songs out of Operas, which are not generally -known. - -But we beg Leave here to make a necessary Distinction between two Ideas, -which are sometimes confounded together, and which is apt to lead People -into this Error as much as any Thing. - -It would be very proper in us, before we prejudice ourselves against any -Art or Science, to be quite clear in the Objections which we raise against -it; we should be certain that they are just, and founded upon good Grounds. -Some People are apt to confound the Idea of raising the softer Passions, -which have their Residence in our Nature, with the Idea of Effeminacy, -which, as I said before, are quite distinct. We have an Instance of the -Passion of Pity in the well known Picture of Bellisarius. The Hero, who -stands in the dejected Attitude, appears to be very much softened by the -Misfortunes and Distress to which he sees Bellisarius reduced; and yet no -one will say that he is an effeminate Fellow for it; on the contrary, it -will be allowed that he shews a Greatness of Soul; he is struck with a -contemplative Sorrow at the Misfortunes of a General, whose invincible -Courage and great Worth he himself had been Witness of. And Bravery in -Distress is not only the Subject of Painting, but it is the constant Theme -of Music: The Operas and Oratorios are full of it, and though the -Misfortunes of the Heroes which are the Subject of them do soften, yet it -is not such a Kind of Softness as to beget any Effeminacy, but of a -contrary Nature, and is such a Sensation as an ordinary Hearer will -perceive at the Beginning of this common Song, which is well enough in its -Way. - - _How little do the Landmen know,_ - _What we poor Sailors feel,_ - _When Seas do roar, and Winds do blow;_ - _But we have Hearts of Steel._ - -If we are to be moved by such a Song as this, what shall we feel at some of -the masterly Strokes of Handel in his Oratorio of Samson. - - _Total Eclipse, no Sun, no Moon,_ - _All dark, amidst the Blaze of Noon._ - -One would think, by the resigned Solemnity of this following Movement, - - _Bring the Laurel, bring the Bays_, &c. - -that he had been reading Milton's Paradise Lost as well as the Samson -Agonistes. This seems to be the very Music of the fallen Angels, where he -says, they made Use of soft Airs, which inspired true Heroic Bravery, and -which he prefers to the noisy, as it was the Cause of a lasting, fixed, and -reserved Courage. Milton says, that as soon as the Colours were displayed, -they marched to the Sound of Flutes and soft Recorders: - - "_Anon they move_ - _In perfect Phalanx, to the Dorian Mood_ - _Of Flutes and soft Recorders; such as rais'd_ - _To Height of noblest Temper Heroes old_ - _Arming to battle, and instead of Rage_ - _Deliberate Valour breath'd firm and unmov'd_ - _With Dread of Death to Flight and foul Retreat._" - -In short, the March in Rinaldo might possibly make Soldiers seize hold of -their Arms and March, but it must be such an Air as that in the Overture of -Berenice which makes them face an Enemy. - - * * * * * - - XXIV. - - _That the Italian Operas consist of effeminate Musick._ - -Though it must be acknowledged that the Language of Italy is smooth and -flowing, and therefore very much adapted to musical Sounds, and though -those Songs which are picked out of Operas, and sung by Ladies at Home, are -generally the Love Songs in the Opera, being such as best suit the Tastes -and Geniussses of such amiable Performers; yet, it is equally an Error to -say that Operas are effeminate, or that all the Songs in them are Love -Songs. No one will say that Quilici with his Bass Voice, in the Character -of Athridates, acted an effeminate Part; he was one of the principal -Characters, and acted the Part of a Tyrant, to which the Music was -excellently adapted, which was greatly set off by his deep Voice and the -proper Carriage of his Person: So when Mattei orders her General to be -disarmed, the Majesty of a Queen is admirably supported. Operas are like -other Performances of Entertainment; they consist of the sublime, the -cruel, the tender, the distressed, the amorous; in short, they must have -Variety of Scenes and Incidents in order to make them please the Audience, -and are like other Dramatic Pieces, not to be taxed with any particular -Style or Mode of Acting, but consist of such Scenes, Plots, Music, and -Decorations, as are most likely to give Entertainment to an Audience. - -We by no Means defend the Impropriety of a Squeaking Hero, and think that -it is a Pity it cannot be altered; however, that Imperfection is generally -palliated, by Propriety of Action, treading the Stage well; Greatness of -Performance, and many other Excellencies, which those who are much used to -hear musical Entertainments will easily discern. - - * * * * * - - XXV. - - _That nothing is Poetry but what is wrote in Rhyme._ - -This may truly be called a vulgar Error, because it is a Mistake of which -none but the Vulgar are guilty of. Though there is a Kind of harmonious -Jingle in Rhyme, which makes the Composition have an agreeable Sound, yet -it is looked upon by all Judges to be the lowest Kind of Poetry. And though -Pope, and other great Writers, have succeeded to Admiration in the -Improvement of it, yet it is in Reality nothing but the barbarous Remains -of the wild Taste of our Ancestors; not to mention how it cramps the Genius -of a Writer, after he has hit upon a favourite Thought, to be forced to -look out for a Rhyme, which must, in Spite of every Thing that can be said -in Favour of it, be exceeding laborious. - -And notwithstanding Poets endeavour to hide this Labour and Pains they have -been at, and affect to have set down their first Thoughts, yet, as Horace -observes, the foul Copy of a good Writer will always have a great Number of -Blots and Alterations in it: This is true of all Poetical Composition; but -a Poem which is wrote in Rhyme, must, according to the Nature of the Thing, -be more laboured than one that is not. And even Prior himself, whose Works -are allowed to be all Ease and Elegance, is said to have taken more Pains -with his Composition, than any other Writer of Eminence. That very Ease and -Elegance, which we perceive in the best Poets, is the Result of great Pains -and Study, and is no other than a judicious Choice of Words and Phrases, -till they have found some that will suit. And however a Poetical Author may -boast of writing his first Thoughts, we cannot possibly have any Testimony -of it but his own. - -Besides, when we have done all, Verses wrote in Rhyme are nothing near so -musical as those which are without it. Where shall we find Verses, among -even the best of our English Poets who wrote in Rhyme, which are equal in -Smoothness and Harmony to these two Lines in Theocritus? - - [Greek: Adion, o poiman, to teon melos, e to kataches] - [Greek: Ten apo tas petras kataleixetai hupsothen hudor.] - _Id. 1._ - -Or these of Ovid, which, though they are far from being the most smooth in -the Book, are however more harmonious than any we can produce now. - - _Sic ubi Fata vocant udis abjectis in Herbis,_ - _Ad vada Maeandri, concinit albus Olor._ - -Though the first of these Verses makes a Whistling like the Reeds in a -River, the last runs so glib, that it is ready to slip from under one -before one would have it. - -We acknowledge that the Latin Language is a great Help to the Running of a -Verse, and if the Reader insists upon that to be the only pre-eminence -which Latin Verses have over English, he is very welcome to think as he -likes best. Moreover, if he is so fond of Rhyme, we can inform him of a -Book which is wrote, in Latin Rhyme, and is very much at his Service: The -Title of the Book is Drunken Barnaby; which, as it is wrote in a dead -Language, will most likely remain an everlasting Burlesque upon the -Barbarity of Rhyme. - -But we may venture to go a little farther. It is not necessary for a Work -to be wrote in Verse at all to entitle it to the Name of Poetry. Any Work -of a fictitious Nature, and which is calculated meerly for Entertainment, -has as just a Claim to be stiled Poetical Composition, as one that is wrote -in the strictest and most confined Metre; Poetry taking its Name from the -Matter of which it is composed, and not from the Length or Sound of its -Words; and we may observe, that such Poetry as consists of those Numbers -which are least confined in their Metre, is generally the most spirited and -sublime. We have an Instance of this in the Writings of Pindar, a Poet of -whose Abilities, Horace gives an Account in his Ode, - - _Pindarum quisquis_, &c. - -And indeed we have no Occasion to go any farther for Examples of excellent -Poetry wrote in Prose, than some of the Plays in our own Language; Ben -Johnson, Congreve, and many more who wrote in Prose, are nevertheless -ranked among the Poets. - -Reader, when thou seest any Thing in this Book which thou didst know -before, it is hoped thou wilt be so candid as to consider, that although -thou art sensible of the Errors of other People, yet they themselves may -not be sensible of them: Yes, even thou, O! profound Philosopher! mayest -have some mistaken Notions of thy own; for what mortal Man can pretend to -such Knowledge as never to be mistaken? And we ourselves, while we are -endeavouring to rectify the Errors of others in this Book, are as likely to -be mistaken as any Body. - -However, there is one Reason why a Work of this Nature is likely to give -some Entertainment; it treats of such Variety of Subjects, that there is -Matter for Argumentation in every Page. And it may be observed too perhaps, -that it treats of more Subjects than the Author himself seems too -understand; which we do very readily acknowledge: And if a Professor in any -of the different Branches which are here treated of, who is better versed -in the Nature of the Subject than the Author, thinks proper to rectify any -Mistake which may be here made, and does it in a liberal Way, we shall not -take it amiss, but perhaps may endeavour to answer him, if we should still -differ from him in our Opinion. - -On the other Hand, we shall be under no great Apprehensions from the -Criticisms of such Readers who have not good Nature enough to be -entertained with the Matter of a Book, and only read for the Pleasure of -Pointing out the Faults in Public; of which Sort we are very sorry to say -that we know too many. These are such Kind of Geniusses as read more out of -Parade than with a Design to be entertained; and _may_ read.[2]----They -seldom acquire any Knowledge, having generally bad Memories and confused -Heads, devouring every Thing, but digesting Nothing. I tell thee, a Man of -true Parts, and sound Memory, will acquire more by reading one Hour, than -such Whippersnappers as these are able to attain to by lumbering over a -Folio. - - * * * * * - - XXVI. - - _That kicking up the Heel behind, and twisting round upon one Leg, is - fine Scating._ - -There are two Methods of Scating, one is made Use of for the Sake of -Expedition and Conveyance from Place to Place, and is practised by the -Boors or Peasants in Holland; the other is calculated entirely for -Amusement, and answers the End of _Shining_ upon the Ice, and therefore is -suited for Gentlemen near Towns upon Canals, and broad Pieces of Water. The -first of these Methods is performed by throwing the Body into such an erect -Posture inclining a little upon the Outside of the Scate, and drawing in -the Hip gradually, as will describe small Curve upon the Ice; this Practice -of Scating eases the Inside of the Thigh, and rests it in such a Manner as -to allow it Time to regain Strength for the next Stroke, and therefore is -very useful in long Journies; or else as to the Article of Swiftness, a -straight Line will carry a Person on faster than a Curve, because while he -is describing a Curve he has more Ground to run over. - -The other Method of Scating, which is known in England by the Name of -Rolling, is done upon the same Principle as the former, only as you have no -Occasion for Expedition, you have an Opportunity of dweling longer upon -your Strokes, and your Time; by which Means, instead of describing a small -Curve, you describe a large one. - -It will be necessary to explain the Cause of this Motion, before we can -make the Reader sensible of what we intend to say. - -All Bodies that are put into Motion upon the Surface of the Earth, are -acted upon by two Forces; namely, a Projectile Force and a Centripetal -Force. The Projectile Force is that which is given it by the Hand or -Strength of any Person, and the Centripetal Force is that which causes all -Bodies to seek the Center of the Earth. For Instance, when a Stone is cast -into the Air to any Distance, the Reason why it does not move on to -Eternity without stopping (as it ought to do by the Principles of -Mechanics) is, because the Centripetal Force keeps continually acting upon -it, till it has pulled it down to the Ground again: This serves to explain -what is meant by a Centripetal Force. - -Now, when a Person scates, he is acted upon by these two Forces, as other -Bodies in Motion are. It is the Projectile Force which throws him upon the -Outside of the Scate, till he has got quite out of the Center of Gravity, -by which Means he would be pulled to the Ground by the Centripetal Force, -if he was not supported by the Projectile Force, which is strong enough to -make Head against the Centripetal for a little while (in the same Manner as -it is able to keep a Stone in the Air till it is spent) and by that Time -the Person scating has recovered himself into an erect Posture. This -Projectile Force is given by a Stroke of the Foot, inclined to the Plain of -the Ice; by which Means, the _whole_ Edge of the Scate takes hold, and is -your moving Force; and the more of the Edge of the Scate a Person uses in -his Stroke, the easier he will go to himself, and the greater Velocity he -will move with: For if he dwells more upon the Heel of the Scate than the -Toe, or vice versa, he not only loses Part of his moving Force, by losing -Part of the Edge of his Scate, which is absolutely the moving Force, but he -likewise encreases his Friction, which ought to be destroyed as much as -possible; and at the same Time loses that Symmetry of Gesture, upon which -the Gracefulness of his Attitude depends. - -When a Person scates properly, he keeps the Foot that he strikes with in -such a Posture upon the Ice, as to make the whole Scate take hold of it -sideways, without destroying his progressive Motion; and instead of kicking -up his Heel behind, just when he takes Leave of the Ice, with the Foot -which has been striking, he gives his Toe a Turn outwards, which not only -gives him a genteel Air, being according to the Rules of Dancing, but -likewise sends him with twice the Force upon the Outside, as it adds to -that Projectile Force which is to make Head against the Centripetal, and to -keep him upon his Legs after he has got out of the Center of Gravity; and -which uncommon Phoenomenon gives that Surprize and Pleasure to a Beholder, -which he perceives at the Sight of a fine Scater. - -I mention this, because I have met with those who have obstinately -persisted in it, that some Persons who kick up their Heels behind, and -strike only with the Toe of their Scate, because they can go a Snail's -Gallop upon the Outside, are fine Scaters; when they are making Use of a -Method which is repugnant to the very Principles of Mechanics. - - * * * * * - - XXVII. - - _That using hard Words and long Sentences, in Discourse or in Writing, - is an Indication of Scholarship._ - -It must be allowed, that good Language is a very great Embellishment, -either to a Person's Conversation, or his Writing; but as it is intended -only to set off what we have to say to the best Advantage, we should -endeavour to use it with such Moderation, as will answer that End, and no -more; otherwise, we shall make ourselves appear very ridiculous in the Eyes -of Men of Learning and Knowledge. - -Good Language, in the Mouth of a Fine Gentleman, resembles the Elegance of -his Dress; it becomes equally ridiculous when ill-judged, or over done: For -as there is no Doubt but good Cloaths set off the Person to a great -Advantage, when they are made with Judgement, and worn with a becoming -Carriage, so an elegant Choice of Words and Sentences are a great Ornament -to Conversation. But on the other Hand, a Suit of Cloaths, though made of -the finest Materials and covered with Lace, will make but an aukward -Appearance if it is ill-made, and worn by one who has not the Carriage of a -Gentleman. So it is with Language. Fine Words, in the Mouths of the -Ignorant, are as unbecoming as Gold Lace upon the Back of a Porter.--And -not only the Ignorant are guilty of this Error, but even those who do know -the Meaning of the Words they use, are apt, by affecting an elegant -Diction, to run themselves into Obscurity; and while they are attending to -their Language, and studying hard Words, neglect the Matter of their -Discourse; to explain which is the sole End of Speaking. The Use of Words -being only to convey our Ideas to each other. - -There is a Shew-board over a Watchmaker's Shop at Oxford, which may serve -for a Burlesque upon the Folly of using hard Words: I cannot charge my -Memory with all the Jargon wrote upon that Board; however, I remember that -it was a long Account of what the Man in the Shop sold, and what he did; -and among other Things it said that _Horologies_ were _mundified_ there; -which Expression we think is enough to make any Man sick of the Languages, -and abjure every Thing that belongs to Literature for the future. - -I have met People in the Street, whose profound Ignorance I have been well -assured of, who have immediately stunned me upon the first entering into -Discourse with half a Dozen hard Words: And it is not long since, a young -Gentleman came to the Coffee-house, and ordered the Waiter, when he sent -Coffee and Tea to his Chambers, to let him have an _additional_ Muffin: The -Man stared at him, and told him, that he did not know how to do one in that -Manner, but he could carbonade him one if he pleased. - -A Lady would think it extraordinary language, upon a Gentleman's desiring -to carry on an Intrigue with her, if he was to ask her, whether she would -have an additional Husband, or not? However, as this is a prodigious fine -Word, and as fine Words are always made use of in addressing the Ladies, we -are of Opinion that it would be proper to adapt this as an Improvement in -the Language of Lovers. - -Almost all Professions are stuffed so full of Terms of Art, that to -understand the Meaning of all the Words which are made use in any one of -them, is long enough for a Science of itself. The only End they answer, is -to puzzle those who are not of the same Profession. Not long ago, a young -Man in the Country, who had weak Eyes, applied to a Surgeon for Relief in -his Disorder. The Surgeon, upon examining his Patient, told him, that he -would send him some Drops which would _refrigerate_ his Eye. - -The young Man came Home again, not very well satisfied, being not certain -what he might have to undergo by this Refrigeration, having never heard the -Word before. Surely he might with as much Propriety have been told, that -what was in the Bottle would put him to no Pain, but was only intended to -cool his Eyes. - -It is incredible to think how cleverly some People, who have not had the -Advantages of Education, will manage about Half a Dozen of these Words when -they have got them. I have known some, who, for the Space of four or five -Minutes, would deceive a Stranger, and induce him to think that he had met -with a Person of great Learning. And however odd this may appear, we think -we ourselves can manage the few hard Words which have been mentioned here, -in such a Manner as to make an extraordinary Sentence of them: For -Instance, supposing a Person had no other fine Words but these in his -Catalogue, and had an Occasion for them in addressing a Lady; we are of -Opinion, that he might shine by ranging them all in this Order. - -Madam, I presume your _Horologie_ will never go right unless it is -_mundified_ by an _additional_ Lover; therefore, let me have the Honour to -_refrigerate_ your Eye. - -A Swain of a more happy Invention, might make a much finer Speech out of -these Words; but as we have done our utmost in the Attempt, we shall take -Leave of the Subject; having shewn, to a Demonstration, the singular -Advantage of making Use of fine Words. - - * * * * * - - XXVIII. - - _That the Way to get a Sailing Boat off the Shore, when she is fast by - any Accident, is to let go both or all the Sails, and stand at her - Head, and push with a Sprit._ - -This Error, though it may seem ridiculous to those who have been brought up -at Sea, and understand Sailing, is nevertheless very common in Inland -Rivers, where Sailing is but little understood. You may very frequently see -fresh-water Sailors, as soon as they find that their Boat has struck, -immediately let both their Main-sail and Fore-sail fly, after which they -all run to the Head of the Boat with Sprits, and begin to endeavour to push -her off; which Method is contrary to the Rules of Mechanics, and therefore -of Sailing. - -A Boat or Vessel of any Size (a 90 Gun Ship moving upon the same Principle -as the smallest Cutter,) is acted upon by the Powers which are the Cause of -her Motion as she swims in the Water, in the same Manner as a Lever of the -first Kind, whose Center or Prop is between the Power and the Weight. To -explain this, let us suppose a Boat, instead of Swimming in the Water, to -be upon dry Land, and to have her Mast run quite through her, and fastened -into the Ground, upon which she might be turned at Pleasure, as upon an -Axle-Tree: In this Case, as her Mast is rather nearer her Head than her -Stern, it would be more easy to turn her Head round by laying hold of her -Stern, because there would be a Mechanical Advantage, by the greater Length -from the Stern to the Mast, than from the Head to the Mast. And in whatever -Direction the Stern of the Vessel is turned, her Head must move the -contrary Way, and vice versa. Now, the same will happen to a Vessel in the -Water; if you push her Head in one Direction, her Stern will move in the -other, and vice versa. So that a Vessel under Sail with a Side-wind, may be -called a Lever of the first Kind, both whose Extremities are kept in a -Ballance by the Sails and Rudder; Forces which keep continually acting upon -her. The Rudder may be considered as a Kind of Moderator, which is to -interpose when the Sails which are before the Mast, or those which are -behind the Mast, or abaft, overpower each other, and destroy that Ballance -which a Vessel rightly trimmed very near preserves of herself. It must be -observed, that the Sails before the Mast of a Vessel, and those behind it, -act in contrary Directions. Those which are before the Mast turn her Head -from the Wind, and those which are behind it turn her Head towards the -Wind. - -By this Time, we see the Impropriety of letting both the Main-sail and -Fore-sail of a Vessel go, when she strikes upon Ground, and then running to -her Head in order to push her off: For first, concerning the Article of -going to her Head to push her off, if she is a small Vessel, the Weight of -two or three People at her Head will press that Part, which generally -happens to be the Part upon the Shore, still closer down; which is a Thing -so well known to every Waterman, that we shall say no more about that. Now, -as to letting both the Sails go, they might with as much Propriety both be -set, for as they act in contrary Directions, they destroy each other's -Force, if the Vessel is well trimmed; so that a Vessel will come off the -Ground no sooner for letting both the Sails go. The Method that I should -take in a Case of that Kind, would be to set the Main-sail and let the -Fore-sail fly, and if that would not do alone, to assist the Main-sail by -pushing at the Windward-side of her Stern with a Sprit, both which Forces -acting together, namely the Main-sail and the Sprit, would in all -Probability put her Head about so as to bring it beyond the Point from -which the Wind blows, which Point after I had got her past, I would set the -Fore-sail to the other Tack, and let the Main-sail go; and by that Means, -the Fore-sail would put her Head almost round; then the Main-sail might be -set, and after Sailing back so far as to get quite clear of the Place where -the Vessel stuck fast before, she might be tacked about again, and pursue -her intended Voyage. - -I don't presume to say, that this is the very best Method of getting a -Vessel off the Shore; as those who have been used to the Sea may have a -more ready Method still: But I do say, that it is a Method which is -consonant to the Principles of Mechanics, for which Reason, it may very -safely be put in Execution, either at Sea or in fresh Water. - - * * * * * - - XXIX. - - _That planting Aquatics upon Banks in the Fenns, will preserve and - strengthen them, so as to render them more able to resist the Force of - a Flood._ - -What will be asserted in this Chapter is not the Result of Surmise, but is -what I have been an Eye Witness of. Be it known then unto all those, who -think proper to do this Book so much Honour as to give it a Perusal, that -the Author is a Fenman: Why should he be ashamed of his Native Country? A -Country, where they have Inverted the following Lines of Horace: - - _Omne cum Proteus pecus egit altos_ - _Visere Montes:_ - _Piscium & summa genus haesit Ulmo,_ - _Nota quae sedes fuerat columbis,_ - _Et superjecto pavidae natarunt_ - _Aequore Dammae._ - -For here, instead of those Places which were the Habitations of Doves, -being visited by Fish, just the contrary has happened. By the Ingenuity of -these People, barren Sands, over which Ships used to ride at Anchor, are -changed into pleasant Meadows and rich Inclosures. - -Having now shewn how much of a Fenman we are, it will be proper to return -to the Subject. - -There can be no Doubt, but that every Attempt which is made to promote the -Improvement of Agriculture, is highly commendable; and on the other Hand, -it is the Duty of every one, to endeavour to rectify such of those Attempts -as he knows, as well from his own Experience, as from the Conversation of -skilful Engineers, to be erroneous: And we are sorry to say, we are very -clear that the Scheme of planting Aquatics upon Banks in the Fenns, -notwithstanding what has been affirmed about it, is so far from being -likely to strengthen such Banks, that it is a certain Way to destroy them. - -In order to make some of our Readers, who live in the high Country, -sensible of the Truth of what will be here asserted, it will be necessary -to explain the Nature of Fenn-Draining, which shall be done in as few Words -as possible. - -Water is a Fluid, as has been before observed; and it is the Nature of a -Fluid to be always endeavouring to restore an Equilibrium in it's Parts, -which we may observe by it's restless Motion after the Surface of it is -made uneven. It is in order to restore this Equilibrium, that Water rushes -down with such Rapidity, from the high Country into the Fenns; where, when -it has got, the Surface of the whole Country being even, and in general no -higher than the Bottom of the adjacent Seas, it remains quiet; -Fenn-Draining, therefore, must be a Work of Art.--Now let us examine into -the Principles of this Art. - -The first Thing to be done is, to scour out the Bottoms of the Rivers, -which run through them, from Sand and Filth, and by that Means to make a -good Outfall; then to make Banks of Earth on the Sides of those Rivers, to -prevent, as much as possible, the Water which comes down in a Flood from -overflowing the Country, as well as to retain such Water as shall be thrown -into the Rivers by Engines. It will be needless here to describe the -Machinery of a Water Engine; it will be sufficient to say, that Drains are -cut which lead from these Engines to the Rivers, which Drains are banked -likewise, and that these Engines, by the Help of the Wind, have a Power of -Drawing the Water from the Lands which are drowned, into these Drains, till -they are quite full, and till the Water has got to a Level which is higher -than the Bottom of the adjacent Sea; and by the Principles of Hydrostatics -is forced to run into the Sea to restore the Equilibrium: It is by the -Strength of the Banks, the Force of the Engines, and the Goodness of the -Outfall, that a Fenn must be drained. Now, I affirm that planting Aquatics -upon Banks in the Fenn will not strengthen them, but destroy them. - -All Vermin in a Fenn are fond of a Bank; it is high Ground, and therefore -dry and comfortable for them in the Winter, for which Reason they are -always full of Moles, and particular Kinds of Rats and Mice, with long -Noses, call'd Field Mice and Rats, and abundance more Animals, which breed -incessantly; and make Holes and Burrows through the Banks in all -Directions. One Kind of these Rats builds his House so commodious, that it -is worth while to relate the Ingenuity of this little Free Mason: He begins -by making a Hole in the Top of the Bank, and after a Labyrinth of many -Windings and Turnings, he finishes all, by making another towards the -Bottom of the Bank close to the Water's Edge; by that Means he extends his -Territories from the Top of the Bank to the Bottom, and has a Supply of -fresh Water, without being seen by the Enemy, who is continually upon the -Watch for him. Owls, Buzzards, Kites, Ravens, Carrion Crows, and other -Birds of Prey in the Fenn, always frequent the Banks in the Evening, and if -the Grass is kept low by Cattle, they will destroy most of the Vermin upon -them. - -But then we must not plant Trees upon them, as they will be the finest -Cover imaginable for those Rats; Trees will not only hide them from the -Sight of the Birds of Prey, but will likewise hinder those Birds from -darting down upon them when they have got a Sight of them. - -I remember, near eighteen Years ago, several Sorts of Aquatics were planted -upon the Banks in the Fenns near Thorney-Abbey; the Consequence was, the -Roots of the Trees served for Timber for the Houses of these Vermin, and -the Branches were a Shelter from the Birds of Prey, by which Means they -were full of Holes, thro' which the Water used to run back again to the -Lands as fast as the Engines threw it out; for which Reason the Trees were -ordered to be grubbed up, by the principal Engineer. - -There is nothing which strengthens a Bank like a good Covering of Grass, -close eat by Cattle; for if once Water penetrates through the outside Coat -of a Bank, it is not in the Power of Aquatics to hinder it from tearing the -Earth away with it. If Aquatics are planted any where, they ought to be at -some Distance _before_ the Bank, in order to keep the Lash of Water from -wearing it away. - - * * * * * - - XXX. - - _That those who lived Two Thousand Years ago, were larger than the - present Race of Mankind._ - -We are obliged to the Poets for this Patagonian System. Their Fictions of -Titan and Briareus, and the whole Fraternity of Giants, is a Fable which -conveys a Moral: The Giants, upon attempting to scale the Walls of Heaven -by heaping Mountains one upon another, are repelled by Jupiter's Thunder, -made Prisoners, and bound under those Mountains upon which they made the -Attempt. The Moral of the Fable is only this, that it is impossible for any -Force to oppose the Omnipotent. Not to dispute whether the Ancients were of -Opinion, that at the Creation of the World all the Animals were of a -gigantic Size, or what might be their Sentiments about that Matter; it is -certain that there has been an Opinion among Men, in all Ages, that the -Time in which they themselves lived, produced Men of less Stature than -those who lived some Time before them. This is a Persuasion which the Poets -all encouraged, as it suited their Purpose; nothing being so great an -Enchantment, to the Mind of a poetical Reader, as to be struck with the -Marvellous. - -When Virgil makes Turnus throw a large Stone at Aeneas, he tells us, that -it was such a Stone as twelve Men of his degenerate Age could scarce have -carried upon their Shoulders. - - _Nec plura effatus, saxum circumspicit ingens:_ - _Saxum antiquum ingens, campo quod forte jacebat,_ - _Limes agro positus litem ut discerneret arvis._ - _Vix illud lecti bis sex cervice subirent,_ - _Qualia nunc hominum producit corpora tellus._ - -A Person who reads this Passage, and really believes that Men were larger -in Aeneas' Time than in Virgil's, reasons thus with himself: "The Works of -Nature degenerate: Those who lived in Aeneas's Time, were larger than those -who lived in Virgil's; and those who lived in the Time of Virgil, were -larger than those who live now." - -With regard to those who lived in Aeneas's Time, we cannot indeed have any -positive Proof to the contrary; but it is not impossible to prove, that the -generality of those Romans who lived in Virgil's Time, were not so tall as -the present Inhabitants of Great Britain are at this Day. - -The English in general are a tall People; we are obliged to a Mixture of -Saxons and Danes for our Stature. A curious Observer may discover a great -deal of the Dane in many of the English, not only from their Names, but -likewise from their Features and Complexions. Those People who have -straight Hair between a white and a red, and have fine Skins, but withall a -fierce Countenance, seem to be of Danish Extraction. It is not difficult, -neither, to trace the Saxon in many of our Nation; such as are tall and -lusty, and of a peaceable and quiet Demeanor till they are provoked, and -with nothing very brisk in their Countenances, seem to have had Saxon -Ancestors. Not to dwell long upon this, as it is certain that England has -been over-run by the Danes and Saxons (whom it would be prudent not to -speak ill of, lest we should abuse some of our own Relations) we will -return to our Subject. - -There is no Cause to apprehend that the Works of Nature degenerate in the -least, as it is a Supposition which is repugnant to all the Observations -which may be made upon the Generation of Animals. Any one who has bred -Horses, Dogs, or Poultry, must have observed, that instead of degenerating, -they always improve upon his Hands, unless he opposes Nature, which seems -to struggle hard against a Stagnation, by confining the Breed too long in -the same Family. - -We have two Reasons, then, to suppose that the present Inhabitants of Great -Britain are larger in Stature than the old Romans were, viz. because they -are the Posterity of a taller People, and because the Breed is so much -crossed. - -But we beg Leave to offer a Reason why it may be apprehended that the -Ancients were not larger in Stature than the Moderns, which seems to carry -along with it something which has very much the Air of a Proof. - -Whoever observes the Size of the Remains of those People who lived in the -Time of the old Romans, or before that Time, will find, that they are no -larger in their Dimensions than the Remains of those who died fifty Years -ago. I have seen Abundance of Stone Coffins, which, as they are found in a -Place which has all the manifest Signs of having been a Roman Camp, both in -respect of it's advantageous Situation, the Name of the present Town, which -is Caster, the Roman Coin which is constantly found there, the Urns in -which the Coin is found, the Inscriptions cut in Cedar in the Coffins, the -Stones of a Bridge, which may be felt with a Sprit, at the Bottom of the -River, at the Back of an Enclosure, which is called the Castle Ground to -this Day; all these are Indications of a Roman Camp, and may be seen near -the great North Road between Stilton and Stamford; where the Curious, by a -proper Application, may have a Pocket full of Roman Coin for a Shilling. -Indeed, whether these Stone Coffins, which are found in this Camp, -contained the Bodies of Romans, no one can positively determine, especially -as the Romans generally burnt their Dead, if they had a convenient -Opportunity: However, as they are found in a Roman Camp, upon the same Spot -where the Coin is found, it is enough to make one think that they are Roman -Coffins, and that the Romans did sometimes bury their Dead; nevertheless, -we leave that to the Determination of the Curious.--Of whatever Nation -their Contents were, the Marks of great Antiquity are strong upon them; and -we can assure the Reader, that none of them were ever troubled with Remains -of a Patagonian. - -But these are not the only Reliques by which we may form our Judgments; -numberless Libraries and Repositories in this Kingdom afford us Instances -of the Size of the Ancients: We have several Egyptian Mummies which seem to -be of very ancient Standing, and must have contained the Bodies of Men of -less Stature than the present English. - -Upon the whole, then, we have just Cause to conclude, that in all Ages of -the World, the Egyptians and Romans were in general of the same Size with -the present Inhabitants of those Countries. - -It must nevertheless be allowed, that Luxury and Debauchery, which are the -Concomitants of Wealth, do very much tend to decrease the Stature of the -Inhabitants of those Cities which have long continued in that State. To -which we may apply this Philosophical Maxim, _When any Thing is so small as -to be of no Consequence to the Point in Hand, it is considered as Nothing_. -Those Cities which have acquired so much Wealth as to be able to commit -such Excesses, are inconsiderable when compared to the Inhabitants of the -whole Earth, therefore they are to be considered as nothing. - -Besides, so great is the Caprice of Fortune, that even the most powerful -State in the Universe, cannot presume to declare how soon a Period may be -put to its Grandeur. But having said something upon this Subject before, we -shall proceed to another Error. - - * * * * * - - XXXI. - - _That Bleeding in May will preserve the Constitution against Illness - during the ensuing Summer._ - -This Hereditary Whim has long been practised in many genteel Families in -England. - -Without consulting any of the Faculty, whose Blood is too thick, or whose -too thin, who have got too much Blood in their Veins, or who too little, -they send for some Six-penny Bleeder, who performs this Operation upon the -whole Family every Year, on May-day in the Morning. - -Not to examine into the Causes of Mortality in May, leaving that Task to -those who are able to assign them, it will be sufficient to remark, that -the weekly Bills generally contain more Deaths in May than in any Month -throughout the whole Year. - -We are sure to have a Fortnight of unwholesome agueish Weather in May; and -one would think, that the common Proverbs which are made use of in the -Country to that purpose, would be sufficient to deter a Person from losing -any Blood at that Season of the Year. - -It is not impossible, but the Preposessions which we have in Favour of the -Charms of this Month, may proceed from a Perusal of the Latin Poets, or -their Translators; whose Works are full of the various Beauties of the -Spring. And very possibly, in Italy, where these Poets lived, that Part of -the Spring may be pleasant and wholesome. - -In England, we are all of us very sensible of the cold and wet Weather, -which generally happens in this Month. And for my own Part, I must confess, -that I think May not only the most dangerous, but likewise, upon the whole, -the most disagreeable Part of the Year; and am quite certain, that if I was -to be let Blood on May-day, I should have the Ague. - - * * * * * - - XXXII. - - _That Negroes are not a Part of the Human Species._ - -This is a Creolian Error, imbibed partly by the Prejudice of Education, and -partly by the compleat Slavery which these poor Wretches are so unfortunate -as to undergo. The passive Appearance of these unhappy People at their -Work, which sometimes resembles that of a Horse in a Mill, gives Master -Tommy Sugar-Cane an Idea, which is the Cause of an Opinion, that a Negroe -is Part of the Brute Creation, and therefore ought to be thrashed. - -But indeed, Master Tommy, if I had the Care of thy Education, I would teach -thee a more reasonable Way of Thinking. - -Young Gentleman, you ought to consider that the Works of Nature are neither -better nor worse either for your Approbation or Disapprobation of them. -That Black is as good a Colour as White in itself; and that the Effect -which particular Rays of Light have upon your Eye, is by no Means to -determine the Beauty or Proportion of any Part of the Creation: And though -your faithful Negroe does appear rude and uncultivated, that is owing to -his Want of Education. Let him have Instructions in Music, you will find -that his Genius is greater than your own; teach him to fence, his Activity -and Stratagem will surprize you. In short, instruct him in any Science, and -he will discover a Capacity. - -Therefore, if you have read Mr. Locke, (and if you have not, I would advise -you to fit out one of your Ships and make a Voyage in Quest of him) Mr. -Locke will tell you, that _it is the Understanding that sets Man above the -rest of sensible Beings, and gives him all the Advantage and Dominion which -he has over them_. And in another Place the same Author will tell you, that -it is a wrong Connection of Ideas which is the great Cause of Errors: These -are his Words, _This wrong Connection in our Minds of Ideas, in themselves -loose and independent one of another, has such an Influence, and is of so -great Force to set us awry in our Actions, as well moral as natural -Passions, Reasonings, and Notions themselves; that perhaps there is not any -one Thing that deserves more to be looked after_. This is the very Case -with Master Tommy Sugar-Cane; a wrong Connection of Ideas have lead him -into this Error, concerning his poor Negroe; he has connected the Ideas of -Horse, Slave, and Negroe, so strongly together in his Mind, that it is not -in his Power to separate them again. And I am credibly informed by those -who understand it, that there is as much Pleasure in whipping a Negroe, as -in driving a Phaeton and Pair. - - * * * * * - - XXXIII. - - _That Negroes are the Descendants of Cain, and that the Colour of their - Skins is that Mark which was set upon Cain after killing Abel._ - -This is a very pretty ingenious Thought of some one, who was doubtless in -love with his own Complexion. I have heard it affirmed by some with such -Warmth, that it seemed in vain to reason with them about it. - -Before we can have any Grounds for such an Affirmation, it will be -necessary to prove that it is a Disgrace to have a dark Complexion; for, if -it is no Disgrace to have a dark Complexion, then there can be no Badge or -Mark of Infamy in being black; if it is a Disgrace to have a dark -Complexion, then the Way of Reasoning must be this: The Irish and Scotch -having fine Skins, are better than the English; the English and French, -than the Italians and Spaniards; the Italians and Spaniards, than the -Algerines; and so on, till we come to the Line. To me, this seems so -absurd, that I must beg Leave to quit the Subject, till some one has -convinced me, that a white Horse is better than a black one. - - * * * * * - - XXXIV. - - _That Love is nothing but Concupiscence to a high Degree, or that Love - and Lust are the same Thing._ - -Love is a Passion, which, though we read of it in the Classics, is but -seldom experienced in these Northern Climates. - -I never met with a North-countryman who would allow that there is any -Difference between Love and Lust, and even in the Southern Parts of the -Kingdom it is but slightly felt; what little we have of it in England, -serves only to make Diversion for the Girls, one among another, and does -not often produce any Thing of bad Consequence. But in Southern Climes the -Effects of it are violent, as well as much more frequent. The desperate -Actions which our Tragedies are full of, will appear more natural, if we -consider what Country we are in during the Time of the Play. - -In England, we should esteem a Person, who killed himself for the Love of -one of inferior Birth and Fortune, but a very silly Fellow; whereas in -Spain or in Italy, to fall upon a Sword for a beautiful Woman, is looked -upon as a certain Indication of a great Soul, and as a Proof that the Heart -of the Enamoured was possessed of a Sentiment unknown to the Minds of the -Vulgar. Not to dwell upon the many Instances, which have happened both -among the Ancients and Moderns, of People who have died for Love, I shall -just make a little Enquiry into the Nature of that Disorder, for so it may -be called, since it sometimes proves fatal. - -That Affection which is called Love, seems to be a Fever, not only in the -Mind, but an actual Fever, attended with the Symptoms of that Disorder; and -differs from all others in this Particular, it is what no Physic can cure. -The Symptoms of it are much like those of that Distemper, which the -East-Indians sometimes die of, when they pine for their native Country. - -If this is the Case, Love is so far from being another Term for Lust, that -it rather opposes that Desire, which is generally the Concomitant of -Health. - -The Heart is capable of a Wound from this little mischievous Urchin, before -Maturity arrives; for the Truth of which I appeal to every one who has -Sensibility enough, to be capable of receiving the Impression of Love, -whether he never found himself electrified by a fine Lady, when he was -about the Age of thirteen. - -To conclude: If I hear a Person very positive that Love and Lust are the -same Thing, I take it for granted, that his Nerves are so coarse and -callous, that nothing less than the Stroke of a Blacksmith's Hammer can -possibly have any Effect upon him. - - * * * * * - - XXXV. - - _That the Hedge-Hog is a mischievous Animal; and particularly, that he - sucks Cows, when they are asleep in the Night, and causes their Teats - to be sore._ - -The Antipathy which People have taken against this Animal, is chiefly owing -to his Form. He is ugly and clumsy, and, not being able to run away, like -most other Animals, is forced to have Recourse to his natural Armour, -which, though it is merely defensive, is apt to disgust those, who cannot -satisfy their Curiosity about him; as there is nothing to be seen but a -round Ball of sharp-pointed Bristles, till he is put into Water, and then -he is forced to open himself and swim. - -By the bye, some Naturalists have affirmed, that he is like the Porcupine; -but that, we can assure the Reader, is a Mistake. A Porcupine is as large -as ten Hedge-Hogs; besides, there is not the least Resemblance in the Form -of the Animals, or in their Manner of Defence. The Hedge-Hog, upon being -discovered, lies quite still, and depends upon the Impenetrability of his -Armour for Safety; whereas the Porcupine is tolerably swift, and is not -able to conceal himself under his Quills, as they do not cover above half -his Back. When he is pursued he makes a full Stop, and has the Power of -drawing up the whole Body of his Quills, so as to dart them all together -into any one who attacks him; and in all Probability he will leave one or -two in your Legs, if you go too near him, and make him angry, which is very -soon done. I once saw a Stick put to a Porcupine, and he broke two or three -of his Quills against the Stick, though they are very hard and tough. Some -say, that the Quills of a Porcupine are of a poisonous Nature. But, begging -Pardon for this Digression about the Porcupine, we will return to the Error -which was mentioned, concerning the Hedge-Hog. - -It may be observed in the Works of Nature, that all Animals, of whatsoever -Kind they are, whether they come under the Denomination of Birds, -Quadrupeds, Reptiles, or Fishes, are provided with such Organs and Weapons -as are convenient for the procuring of their Sustenance, as well as such as -are formed for their Self-Defence. - -The Lion _roaring after his Prey_, has Weapons proper for the vanquishing -and devouring that Prey. - -The Bull, whose principal Food is Grass, is provided with Armour round his -Tongue and Nostrils, which is Proof against the Thistles and venomous -Insects that make a Part of his coarse Diet. - -The Monkey is possessed of Hands for selecting the eatable Parts of his -Nuts and Fruit from the poisonous Rind. - -The Hawk is furnished with long Wings for pursuing, keen Eyes for -discerning, and sharp Talons for taking the granivorous Birds, which are -his Prey; whilst they are provided with Beaks of a proper Shape for picking -up the Corn, as well as Gizzards, or strong Muscles, which, by the Help of -Gravel Stones, that are contained in them, grind the separate Grains of -Corn, as they are discharged from the Crop, out of which they proceed -gradually. - -The numberless Instances of this Kind which might be brought, are too -tedious to mention here; it will be sufficient to remark, that there is no -such Monster to be found in the Creation, as an Animal with Weapons and -Implements improper for the Acquisition of that Food which is to be the -Support of its Life, or unfurnished with such a Means of Defence, as is -most suitable to its Self-preservation. - -The Hedge-Hog is a peculiar Instance of this: As he is rather slow of Foot, -if he should happen to be surprized in his Travels, he can gather himself -up into a Coat of Mail, which answers two Ends; as it is a _Deceptio -Visus_, looking like a Clot covered with dried Grass; and as it consists of -sharp Spikes upon a thick Skin, which serve both for a Sword and Target, -either to secure him against the Tread of a Horse, or the Assaults of Dogs -and Hawks. Then as his Habitation is in Hedges, he has a Mouth formed for -the Reception of Hips, Haws, and Sloes, which are his Food; and which, -doubtless, he hoards up in some little Repository, known only to himself. -His Nose is formed to search for Roots near the Surface of the Earth, which -must not be very large, otherwise he would be unable to manage them, as his -Mouth is remarkably small, and does not seem capable of containing any -Thing larger than a small Pea; for which Reason we may suppose it not only -improbable and unnatural, that the Hedge-Hog should attempt to suck the -Teats of a Cow, when she is asleep, as it does not seem formed by Nature -for such an Operation; but we will endeavour to prove from Hydrostatics, -that it would be impossible for him to acquire any Milk at all by such a -Trial. - -It is certainly true, that the Reason why a Vessel contains Water, or any -other Fluid, within it's Sides, and hinders it from dispersing, is, because -the Pressure of the Air at the Top of the Vessel keeps it down; and it is -as true, that when the Vessel is turned up side down, the Liquor in it will -still be kept in, by the same Pressure of the Air, notwithstanding the -Force of Gravity, provided the Surface of the Water is not disturbed in -turning the Vessel; which may be easily proved by the Experiment of a -Drinking-Glass and a Piece of Paper. It is upon this Principle, that the -Milk in the Dug of an Animal, is kept in it's proper Place, and does not -fall to the Ground; though it must be acknowledged, that there may be some -other Causes assigned likewise. - -Now if a Vessel of Water is put into an Air Pump, as soon as the Air is -extracted from the Receiver, in which the Vessel stands, the Water -immediately ascends up out of the Vessel, and overflows the Brim, the Air, -which was the Cause of it's being kept down, being removed. - -This is the Case with an Animal which gives Suck. The Teat is close -embraced round by the Mouth of the young one, so that no Air can pass -between: A Vacuum is made, or the Air is exhausted from it's Throat, by a -Power in the Lungs; nevertheless, the Pressure of the Air remains still -upon the Outside of the Dug of the Mother, and by these two Causes -together, the Milk is forced into the Mouth of the young one. - -But a Hedge-Hog has no such Mouth, as to be able to contain the Teat of a -Cow; therefore any Vacuum, which is caused in it's own Throat, cannot be -communicated to the Milk in the Dug. And if he is able to procure no other -Food, but what he can get by sucking Cows in the Night, there is likely to -be a Vacuum in his Stomach too. - -It may be objected here, that former Legislators have thought proper to -allow a Reward to be given for killing this Animal, on Account of the -Mischief he has been supposed to do. To which I answer, that former -Legislators have thought proper to burn old Women, for being Witches, if -they would not sink when they were put into a Pond; and I will venture to -affirm, that there is just as much Sense in burning a Witch, as in setting -a Reward upon a Hedge-Hog. - - * * * * * - - XXXVI. - - _That a Person is the better or the worse for being of any particular - Calling or Profession._ - -This Error shall be dressed in a Clerical Habit. But I fear those venerable -Robes will share the same Fate here, which attends them in other Places; -they will give a double Force to the Mistakes and Failings of the Wearer. - -Luke XVIII. Verses the xth, xith, xiith, and xiiith. _Two men went up into -the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The -Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself; God, I thank thee, that I am -not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this -publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. -And the_ _publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his -eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me -a sinner._ - -The Oriental Teachers thought proper to convey their Doctrines of Morality -in Parable. Doubtless, the Method is plain and easy to be understood; -elegantly shewing us the Truth, whilst we cannot help confessing that we -discern it, and this without giving much Disgust by laying open the Foibles -of any Party; it is capable of comprehending all the Figures of Poetry and -Rhetoric, and these Figures are the least liable to be detected, whilst -they are clothed in the Disguise of Parable, which must be allowed to be a -great Advantage; _Artis est celare artem_ holds good in this Case, as well -as in others. And if one Person has an Inclination to bring another to his -Way of Thinking, he must endeavour to be as plain and simple in his Manner -as possible, for this Method alone carries with it the Appearance of Truth; -whether we argue on the right Side of the Question, or on the wrong, this -Method of Proceeding will hold good in some Measure; but especially, if we -want to instil true Principles of sound Morality, it has a double Force. -Our Blessed Saviour, doubtless, for this Reason thought proper to deliver -his Doctrines of Morality in this convincing, self-evident Dialect; he saw -plainly that the Cabalistical Stile of the Pharisees, was by no Means a -Language proper to convey new and wholesome Precepts into the Minds of the -Vulgar. No: He chose rather to make Use of this compact and intelligible -Method of inculcating his Precepts, namely Parable. We have no greater -Instance of his Skill, than this of the Pharisee and Publican. - -In the Handling of this Subject, we shall consider the Human Species in -different Lights; as a reasoning philosophizing Animal, who thinks he has a -right to enquire into the Phoenomena of Nature, and to make Use of that -Right, and of those Senses, which God has given him; and as a Person, who -is forced to submit to the the superior Judgment of other Men, and takes -Things for granted as he is told them. The first of these is what we -generally understand when we say Men of Science, Men of Learning, Men of -regular Education, and the like. These may be ranged into Variety of -different Orders and Ranks, in regard to their different Professions, -Studies, Turns of Genius, Amusements, Abilities, Applications, &c. - -We may with Propriety reduce all these different Sentiments concerning -Mankind, into two Branches; namely, Men of Business, and Men of Recreation -or Pleasure. - -Of those who come under the Denomination of Men of Business, each one is -apt to think himself of that Order which is most respectable. For Instance, -one who professes the Law, may know that Mankind is apt to tax him with -Injustice and Dishonesty, but that, he comforts himself, is of no great -Signification; for what amongst the Vulgar is stiled Dishonest, among -People of Fashion, would be palliated by the agreeable Name of exquisite -Address. And so he makes himself very easy about what vulgar Imputations -may be laid to his Charge by the Mob, so long as he has the Gentry on his -Side. And they too may tax him with Dishonesty if they please, but he makes -no Doubt but he shall soon have some of them applying to him for Justice, -as all Causes must go through the Hands of those of his Profession; and he -does not see but Things are determined fairly enough in the End. In short, -he concludes with thinking, that his Profession is as useful as any other, -(and in that perhaps he may be right) and that it is profitable, and of -great Importance, and therefore, that the Sons of the Robe may justly be -said to be more honourable. - -The Physician is of another Way of Thinking. He knows full well, that -Health is of more Consequence than Riches, for (says he) what Pleasure can -a Man have from a great Estate, if he has not Health to enjoy it? The -Lawyer may out talk him perhaps, but he thinks he has saved more Lives, at -a much cheaper Rate than the other has recovered Estates in Chancery. They -may make light of his Art, but he is certain likewise, that they will all -stand in Need of his Skill sometime or other; and therefore thinks, on -Account of the Importance of his Profession, that the Sons of Galen are -most honourable. - -The Philosopher differs from them both. He thinks, that all that is wrote -upon Parchment must treat of something very trifling, with Respect to what -he is concerned in. It may be, says he, that this Parchment may contain -some Conveyance of some small Tract of Land, belonging to some one private -Person; but what is that? he has just been taking Measure of the whole -Earth. He thinks that Physic may have Merit in it's Way; for a Man skilled -in Physic may preserve the Life of an Animal who inhabits the Globe; but -what is this to what he has been contriving of? He has been taking Care of -the Health of the Universe; he has discovered a Comet, and has been -calculating how near it will approach to the Earth's Orbit; he has been -settling the Degrees of Heat it contains, at such and such Distances, and -what Danger we should all be in, of being totally demolished, if it was to -approach but a small Distance nearer; he has been finding out the Situation -of the Polar Stars, that Navigators may sail in an unknown Sea without -Danger; he has been fixing the exact Limit of the Trade Winds, where they -may be certain of being blown Home again safe. He thinks these are Matters -of a high Nature, much beyond any Thing else, and therefore, that his -Profession is of the highest Importance. Three Professions have been -mentioned, every one of which is apt to think his own Order of the greatest -Consequence. We should find it exactly the same, if we were to take a -Survey of the inferior Trades, and mechanical Men. - -Those likewise, who think proper to devote their Time to Amusements, if we -examine into their Behaviour, we shall find them, in general, no less -partial to their own Taste than the Men of Business; which we shall easily -discern, if we make Observations at any Public Place, where many of this -Kind resort to. Gentlemen who are fond of Play, most heartily despise all -the Noises that can be made upon Instruments, all the Daubings which can be -smeared upon Canvass, and all the Nonsense that can he crammed into Books. -The only Music that can give them any Pleasure, is the rattling and -spirited Sound of the all-hazardous Dice-Box; the only Paintings which can -strike them, must be drawn at full Length, upon the mercenary Card-Table; -the only Books which, in their Opinion, contain any Sense in them, are -those which treat upon the noble Science of Gaming. - -The Sportsman wonders what any Body can see in London, or in those -make-shift Entertainments which are contrived to pass Time away in Town; he -cannot bear to sit fretting over a Card Table. The only Music that delights -him, is the chearing Sensation which he perceives, when he is awaked from -Sleep, by the confused Harmony which pierces his Ear, from the shrill -Throats of his never-erring Hounds, impatient for the glorious Fatigue (as -he calls it) of the ensuing Day; which he follows at the Hazard of his -Life, over Dangers of Mountains, and Woods, and Rivers, and craggy Cliffs, -and returns Home well pleased and happy with the Thoughts of his Exploits: -Whilst the London Citizen prefers his Armed-chair, and a good Fire, and the -Daily Advertiser; and sneers at all the others for senseless Wretches, -because they don't understand the Rules of Principal and Interest.--All -these Examples may serve to shew, how wrapt-up Men are in their particular -Engagements of Business and Pleasure, and how in love they are with their -own Opinions: So in love with them, that they cannot look upon the -Sentiments of others with common Charity. - -We all think ourselves of the highest Importance, and that there would no -existing without us; how this comes to pass shall be next enquired into, by -returning to the Matter of different Professions. We behave with regard to -our public Professions, in this Respect, just as we do in our private -Characters: As we can easily discern the Vices of other Men, and forget our -own, so it happens in the present Case; we can easily discern the Advantage -which the Public reaps from our own Profession, but it is with great -Difficulty that we are brought to examinine what Use we ourselves derive -from that of another. This was the very Case with the Pharisee in the Text; -he stood, and prayed and said, _God, I thank thee, that I am not as other -men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican_. He -payed Tithes of all that he possessed. And what great Merit was there in -that? If he had not thought proper to pay Tithes of his own Accord, no -Doubt, there was as much Law to compel him in those Times as in these; but -the Misfortune is, this Pharisee was under the same Mistake which Pharisees -in all Ages labour under, he could see plain enough into what he thought -his own private Qualifications, but could not discern the Use which the -Public reaped from his Companion. The Publican on the other Hand did not so -much as lift up his Eyes to Heaven, but smote his Breast, and said, _God be -merciful to me a sinner_. He acknowledged that he was of a Profession -which, however necessary it might be in itself, nevertheless brought upon -him the Odium of his Countrymen, and which made him liable to many -Irregularities in his Behaviour, made him forced to be guilty of many -Extortions from the poorer Sort of People; he confessed that his Profession -did necessarily bring all these Sins upon him, for which he then implored -Forgiveness. _I tell you_, says our Saviour, _this man went down to his -house justified rather than the other_. But what Reason can be given, why -the Pharisee should not be justified? It might be said, that the Pharisee -was conscious to himself of living according to the Laws of his Country, -and of doing his Duty, and that he thought it incumbent upon him to return -Thanks to the Maker of all Things, for giving him such good Inclinations, -and for putting it into his Power to make a good Use of them. - -This would be very charitable Reasoning, if one could be brought to -believe, that the Pharisee was really such a Sort of a Man as he pretended -to be; but it is sufficiently evident, by the Stile and Manner of the -Parable, that this Pharisee was intended to be like other Pharisees in all -Times: he would be thought to be much better than he really was, and had -worked himself up to such a high Pitch of Pride and Self-Conceit, as to -boast of his supposed Qualifications even to his Maker. - -Doubtless this excellent Parable strikes at the very Root of all Hypocrisy, -and vain-glorious outside Shew. For here was the Publican, very probably a -much better Man than the Pharisee, who had neither imbibed such high -Notions of his own Worth, nor pretended to any such fine Qualifications; he -very willingly acknowledged his Faults, and with the greatest Modesty and -Diffidence of himself, that high Recommendation both in the Eyes of God and -Man, did not even think himself worthy to look up to Heaven, but smote upon -his Breast and said, _God be merciful to me a sinner_. - -What has been said may serve to shew the excellent Morality, which these -Parables of our Saviour's contained; they contained such Sort of Lessons as -must be useful, so long as the World exists; for there will always be such -Pharisees as are here mentioned by our Saviour, and to whom, in another -Place, he repeats the Words, _Wo unto you scribes and Pharisees, -hypocrites_, so often. Isaiah says, Chap. ix. ver. 20, 21. _Wo unto them -that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light -for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and_ _sweet for bitter! Wo unto -them that are wise in their own Eyes and prudent in their own Sight!_ - -Our Saviour did not mean to aim with the Force of his Doctrine at Publicans -and Pharisees alone, his Doctrine was of an Universal Nature: And we must -not suppose that could ever be his Intention; and lest future Ages should -hereafter make such a Mistake, the Evangelist has given us his Opinion what -he thought our Saviour intended by this Parable. _He spake this Parable_, -says St. Luke, _unto those which trusted in themselves that they were -righteous, and despised others_. - -Here it must be observed, that though our Saviour was pleased to say, that -_the Publican went down to his House justified_ rather _than the Pharisee_, -yet he by no Means sets either of them as a Pattern for our Example. We -must not therefore misunderstand this Passage so dangerously as to think, -that if we be but modest, we may be guilty of what enormous Vices we think -proper, because that would be giving the Words of our Saviour a wrong -Interpretation. A middle Character, between these two Extremes, is rather -to be aimed at. It is to be wished, that we could so navigate ourselves -through the dangerous Rocks and Quicksands of Land, as to avoid both the -Sins of the Publican, and the vain-glorious Boasting of the Pharisee: And -by that Means, we shall be enabled without Fear, to sail through the dark -Sea of Death, even into the Regions of Eternity, where the Gates of Hell -shall not prevail against us. - - _FINIS._ - - * * * * * - - - ERRATA. - - Page 54, instead of _Conis_ read _Canis_. - 72, instead of _Boatman's_ read _Boatswain's_. - 91, instead of _the_ read _their_. - ditto, instead of _amazed_ read _amused_. - 110, instead of _lighter_ read _higher_. - 165, instead of _jabebat_ read _jacebat_. - - * * * * * - - - NOTES - -[1] - - What are these Masks? Hear you me, Jessica, - Lock up my Doors, and when you hear the Drum, - And the vile Squeaking of the Wry-neck'd Fife, &c. - -[2] - - Rusticus expectat dum defluat amnis. - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A New Catalogue of Vulgar Errors, by -Stephen Fovargue - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A NEW CATALOGUE OF VULGAR ERRORS *** - -***** This file should be named 41274.txt or 41274.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/2/7/41274/ - -Produced by Steven Gibbs, Keith Edkins and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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