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diff --git a/41136-0.txt b/41136-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fef97a3 --- /dev/null +++ b/41136-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10455 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41136 *** + +Transcriber's Note: + + Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have + been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. + + Italic text is denoted by _underscores_. + + On page 169, "household gods" should possibly be "household goods". + On page 320, "spice of her mind" should possibly be "piece of her + mind". + + + + + A PLUCKY GIRL + + BY + MRS. L. T. MEADE + + AUTHOR OF "CECELIA'S AWAKENING," "PEGGY FROM KERRY," + "FOR DEAR DAD," "A WILD IRISH GIRL," "A GIRL + OF HIGH ADVENTURE," "THE CHESTERTON + GIRL GRADUATES," ETC., ETC. + + NEW YORK + HURST & COMPANY + PUBLISHERS + + + + + Copyright, 1900, by + George W. Jacobs & Co. + + + + +Contents + + + CHAP PAGE + + I. FORTUNE'S BALL 1 + + II. FRIENDS OR QUONDAM FRIENDS 9 + + III. MY SCHEME 23 + + IV. THE VERDICT 31 + + V. JANE MULLINS 55 + + VI. THE BERLIN WOOL ROOM 74 + + VII. THE PAYING GUESTS 83 + + VIII. THE FLOUR IN THE CAKE 96 + + IX. THE ARTIST'S EYE 103 + + X. HER GRACE OF WILMOT 116 + + XI. WHY DID HE DO IT? 132 + + XII. TWO EXTREMES 147 + + XIII. THE UGLY DRESS 160 + + XIV. ANXIETY 176 + + XV. DR. READE 186 + + XVI. GIVE ME YOUR PROMISE 199 + + XVII. A DASH OF ONIONS 207 + + XVIII. BUTTERED BREAD 222 + + XIX. YOU USED TO LOVE US 234 + + XX. RUINED 242 + + XXI. MR. PATTENS 250 + + XXII. THE MAN IN POSSESSION 262 + + XXIII. ALBERT 273 + + XXIV. THE BOND 297 + + XXV. YOU ARE A GOOD MAN 311 + + XXVI. HAND IN HAND 319 + + XXVII. TOO LATE 324 + + XXVIII. THIS DEAR GIRL BELONGS TO US 336 + + XXIX. HAVE I LOST YOU? 345 + + XXX. THE DUCHESS HAS HER SAY 356 + + XXXI. THE END CROWNS ALL 368 + + + + +A PLUCKY GIRL + + + + +CHAPTER I + +FORTUNE'S BALL + + +I was born a month after my father's death, and my mother called me +after him. His name was John Westenra Wickham, but I was Westenra +Wickham alone. It was a strange name for a girl, and as I grew up +people used to comment on it. Mother loved it very much, and always +pronounced it slowly. She was devoted to father, and never spoke of +him as most people do of their dead, but as if he were still living, +and close to her and to me. When a very little child, my greatest +treat was to sit on her knee and listen to wonderful stories of my +brave and gallant father. He was a handsome man and a good man, and he +must have possessed, in a large degree, those qualities which endear +people to their fellows, for surely it was no light cause which made +my mother's beautiful brown eyes sparkle as they did when she spoke of +him, and her whole face awake to the tenderest life and love and +beauty when she mentioned his name. + +I grew up, therefore, with a great passionate affection for my dead +father, and a great pride in his memory. He had been a Major-General +in a Lancer regiment, and had fought many battles for his country, and +led his men through untold dangers, and performed himself more gallant +feats than I could count. He received his fatal wound at last in +rescuing a brother-officer under fire in Zululand, and one of the last +things he was told was that he had received his Victoria Cross. + +During my father's lifetime mother and he were well off, and for some +years after his death there did not appear to be any lack of money. I +was well educated, partly in Paris and partly in London, and we had a +pretty house in Mayfair, and when I was eighteen I was presented to +Her Gracious Majesty by mother's special friend, and my godmother, the +Duchess of Wilmot, and afterwards I went a great deal into society, +and enjoyed myself as much as most girls who are spirited and happy +and have kind friends are likely to do. I was quite one and twenty +before the collapse came which changed everything. I don't know how, +and I don't know why, but our gold vanished like a dream, and we found +ourselves almost penniless. + +"Now what are we to do, Westenra?" said mother. + +"But have we nothing?" I replied. + +"Only my pension as your dear father's widow. Your pension as his +child ceased when you came of age, and I believe, for so our lawyers +tell me, that there is about fifty pounds besides. I think we can +count on a hundred and fifty a year. Can we live on that sum, +Westenra?" + +"No," I answered proudly. + +I was standing behind one of the silk curtains in the drawing-room as +I spoke. I was looking down into the street. The room was full of +luxury, and the people who passed backwards and forwards in their +luxurious carriages in the street below were many of them our friends, +and all more or less moved in what was called nice society. I was full +of quite unholy pride at that moment, and poverty was extremely +distasteful, and to live on a hundred and fifty pounds a year seemed +more than impossible. + +"What is it, West? What are you thinking of?" said mother, in a sad +voice. + +"Oh, too many things to utter," I replied. "We can't live on the sum +you mention. Why, a curate's wife could scarcely manage on it." + +"Don't you think we might just contrive in a very small cottage in the +country?" pleaded mother. "I don't want much, just flowers round me +and the country air, and your company, darling, and--and--oh, very +small rooms would do, and the furniture of this house is ours. We +could sell most of it, and send what we liked best down to the +cottage." + +"It can't be done," I answered. "Listen, mother, I have a proposal to +make." + +"What is it, my darling? Don't stand so far away--come and sit near +me." + +I walked gravely across the room, but I did not sit down. I stood +before mother with my hands tightly locked together, and my eyes +fastened on her dear, lovely, delicate old face. + +"I am glad that the furniture is ours," I began. + +"Of course it is." + +"It is excellent furniture," I continued, looking round and appraising +it quickly in my mind's eye: "it shall be part of our capital." + +"My dear child, our capital? What do you mean?" + +"We will take a house in Bloomsbury, put the furniture in, and have +paying guests." + +"West, are you mad? Do you remember who I am--Mrs. Wickham, the widow +of--or no, I never will allow that word--the wife of your dear, dear, +noble father." + +"Father would approve of this," I answered. "He was a brave man and +died fighting, just as I mean to die fighting. You are shocked at the +idea to-night, mother, because it is fresh to you, but in a week's +time you will grow accustomed to it, you will take an interest in it, +you will even like it. I, bury myself in the country and starve!--no, +no, no, I could not do it. Mother, darling, I am your slave, your +devoted slave, your own most loving girl, but don't, don't ask me to +vegetate in the country. It would kill me--it would kill me." + +I had dropped on my knees now and taken both her hands in mine, and I +spoke with great excitement, and even passion. + +"Don't stir for a moment," said mother; "how like your father you +look! Just the same eyes, and that straight sort of forehead, and the +same expression round your lips. If your father were alive he would +love you for being brave." + +As mother looked at me I think she forgot for the moment the terrible +plunge we were about to make into the work-a-day strata of society, +but the next instant the horrid fact was brought back to her, for +Paul, our pretty little page, brought in a sheaf of letters on a +salver. Of course they were unpaid bills. Mother said sadly-- + +"Put them with the others, Westenra." + +"All these bills must be met," I said stoutly, after Paul had closed +the door behind him. "There will be just enough money for that +purpose, so we need not start handicapped. For my part, I mean to +enjoy our scheme vastly." + +"But, my child, you do not realise--you will be stepping down from the +position in which you were born. Our friends will have nothing to do +with us." + +"If they wish to give us up because we do something plucky they are +not worthy to be called friends," was my reply. "I don't believe +those friends we wish to keep will desert us, mother. On the +contrary, I am certain they will respect us. What people cannot stand +in these days is genteel poverty--its semi-starvation, its poor mean +little contrivances; but they respect a hand-to-hand fight with +circumstances, and when they see that we are determined to overcome in +the battle, then those who are worth keeping will cling to us and help +us; and if all our friends turn out to be the other sort, mother, +why"--and here I rose and stretched out my arms wide--"let them go, +they are not worth keeping. Those who won't be fond of us in our new +home in Bloomsbury we can do without." + +"You are enthusiastic and--and ignorant," said mother. + +"I grant that I am enthusiastic," I answered. "It would be a great +pity if I had none of that quality at one and twenty; but as to my +ignorance, well, time will prove. I should like, however, to ask you a +straight question, mother. Would father have sat beside his guns and +done nothing when the fight was going against him? Was that the way he +won his Victoria Cross?" + +Mother burst out crying. She never could bear me to allude to that +fatal and yet glorious occasion. She rose now, weak and trembling, and +said that she must defer the discussion of ways and means until the +next day. + +I put on my hat and went for a walk alone. I was full of hope, and +not at all depressed. Girls in these days are always glad to have +something new to do, and in the first rush of it, the idea of leaving +the humdrum path of ordinary society and of entering on a new and +vigorous career filled me with ecstacy. I don't really think in the +whole of London there was a prouder girl than the real Westenra +Wickham; but I do not think I had ordinary pride. To know titled +people gave me no special pleasure, and gay and pretty dresses were so +common with me that I regarded them as the merest incidents in my +life, and to be seen at big receptions, and at those "At Homes" where +you met the most fastidious and the smartest folks, gave me no joy +whatsoever. It is true I was very fond of my godmother, the Duchess of +Wilmot, and of another dear little American friend, who had married a +member of the Cabinet, Sir Henry Thesiger. But beyond these two I was +singularly free from any special attachments. The fact is, I was in +love with mother. Mother herself seemed to fill all my life. I felt +somehow as if father had put some of his spirit into me, and had bound +me over by a solemn vow to look after her, to comfort her, to guard +her, until he himself came to fetch her, and now my thought of +thoughts was how splendid and how necessary it would be to keep her +usual comforts round my dainty, darling, lovely mother, to give her +the food she required, and the comfortable rooms and the luxury to +which she was born; and I felt that my pride, if I could really do +that, would be so great and exultant, that I should hold my head +higher than ever in the air. Yes, I would have a downright good try, +and I vowed I would not fail. It seemed to me as I turned home again +in the sweet golden summer evening that fortune's ball lay at my feet, +that in the battle I would not be conquered, that like my father I in +my own way would win the Victoria Cross. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +FRIENDS OR QUONDAM FRIENDS + + +Mother used to say that there were times when her daughter Westenra +swept her right off her feet. + +"I can no more resist you," she used to remark on these occasions, +"than if you were a great flood bearing me along." + +Perhaps never did mother find my power so strong, so determined as on +the present occasion. It was in vain for her, poor darling, to speak +of our friends, of those dear, nice, good people who had loved father +and for his sake were good to his widow. I had my answer ready. + +"It is just this, mother," I said, "what we do will cause a +gleaning--a sifting--amongst our friends. Those who are worth keeping +will stay with us, those who are not worth keeping will leave us. And +now do you know what I mean to do? I mean this morning, with your +leave, to order the carriage, the carriage which we must put down at +the end of the week, but which we can certainly keep for the next +couple of days, and go round to our friends and tell them what we are +about to do." + +"You must go alone then, Westenra, for I cannot go with you." + +"Just as you please, mother. I would rather you had the courage; but +still, never mind, darling, I will do it by myself." + +Mother looked at me in despair. + +"How old are you?" she said suddenly. + +"You know quite well," I replied, "I was twenty-one a month ago." + +Mother shook her head sadly. + +"If you really intend to carry out this awful idea, West, you must +consider youth a thing of the past," she said. + +I smiled and patted her cheek. + +"Nothing of the sort," I answered; "I mean to be young and vigorous +and buoyant and hopeful as long as I have you with me, so there! Now, +may I ring the bell and tell Paul to desire Jenkins to bring the +victoria round at eleven o'clock?" + +Mother could not refuse, and having executed this order I sat down +with considerable appetite to breakfast. I was really enjoying myself +vastly. + +Punctual to the hour, I stepped into our pretty carriage. First of all +I would visit my dear old godmother, the Duchess of Wilmot. + +Accordingly, early as it was, I told Jenkins to drive me to the +Duchess's house in Park Lane. When we drew up at the house I jumped +out, ran up the steps and sounded the bell. The man who opened the +door informed me that her Grace was at home to no one at so early an +hour. + +I thought for a moment, then I scribbled something on a little piece +of paper. + + "Dear Duchess," I said, "I want to see you particularly, the + matter is very urgent.--Your god-daughter, + + WESTENRA WICKHAM." + +This I twisted up and gave to the man. + +"Give that to her Grace, I will wait to see if there is an answer," I +said. + +He came down in a moment or two. + +"Her Grace will see you, Miss Wickham," he said. + +I entered the house, and following the footman up some winding stairs +and down some corridors, I was shown into the small boudoir where the +Duchess generally sat in the morning. She was fully dressed, and +busily writing notes. + +"That will do, Hartop," she said to the man; "close the door, please. +Now then, Westenra, what is the meaning of this? What eccentric whim +has induced you to visit me at so early an hour?" + +"I wanted to tell you something," I said; "mother is awfully +distressed, but I thought you had better know." + +"How queer you look, my child, and yet I seldom saw you brighter or +handsomer. Take off your hat and sit near me. No, I am not specially +busy. Is it about the Russells' reception? Oh, I can take you if your +mother is not strong enough. You want to consult me over your dress? +Oh, my dear Westenra, you must wear----" + +"It has nothing to do with that," I interrupted. "Please let me speak. +I want to say something so badly. I want to consult you." + +"Of course," said her Grace. + +She laid her jewelled hand on my arm. How I loved that white hand! How +I adored my beautiful old friend! It would be painful to give her up. +Was she going to give me up? + +"I will tell you something quite frankly," I said. "I love you very +much; you have always been kind to me." + +"I am your godmother, don't forget." + +"A great trouble has come to us." + +"A great trouble, my dear, what do you mean?" + +"Mother thinks it a fearful trouble, and I suppose it is, but anyhow +there are two ways of taking it. There is the sinking-down way, which +means getting small and poor and thin, anaemic, in short, and there is +the bold way, the sort of way when you stand up to a thing, you know +what I mean." + +"You are talking school-boy language. My grandson Ralph would +understand you; he is here; do you want to see him? I am a little too +busy for riddles, Westenra." + +"Oh! I do beg your pardon. I know I am taking a great liberty: no one +else would come to you at so early an hour." + +"Well, speak, my dear." + +"We have lost our money." + +"Lost your money!" cried the Duchess. + +"Yes; everything, or nearly everything. It was through some bad +investments, and mother was not at all to blame. But we have nothing +left, or nearly nothing--I mean we have a hundred and fifty a-year, +about the price of one of your dresses." + +"Don't be personal, Westenra--proceed." + +"Mother wants to live in a cottage in the country." + +"I do not see how she could possibly do it," said the Duchess. "A +cottage in the country! Why, on that pittance she could scarcely +afford a workman's cottage, but I will speak to my friends; something +must be arranged immediately. Your dear, lovely, fragile mother! We +must get her a suite of apartments at Hampton Court. Oh! my poor +child, this is terrible." + +"But we do not choose to consider it terrible," I replied, "nor will +we be beholden to the charity of our friends. Now, here is the gist of +the matter. I have urged mother to take a house in Bloomsbury." + +"Bloomsbury?" said the Duchess a little vaguely. + +"Oh, please Duchess, you must know. Bloomsbury is a very nice, healthy +part of the town. There are big Squares and big houses; the British +Museum is there--now, you know." + +"Oh, of course, that dreary pile, and you would live close to it. But +why, why? Is it a very cheap neighbourhood?" + +"By no means; but city men find it convenient, and women who work for +their living like it also, and country folks who come to town for a +short time find it a good centre. So we mean to go there, and--and +make money. We will take our furniture and make the house attractive +and--and take paying guests. We will keep a boarding-house. Now you +know." + +I stood up. There was a wild excited feeling all over me. The most +daring flight of imagination could never associate the gracious +Duchess of Wilmot with a lodging-house keeper, and mother had always +hitherto been the Duchess's equal. I had never before felt _distrait_ +or nervous in the Duchess's presence, but now I knew that there was a +gulf between us--that I stood on one side of the gulf and the Duchess +on the other. I stretched out my hands imploringly. + +"I know you will never speak to me again, you never can, it is not to +be thought of. This is good-bye, for we must do it. I see you +understand. Mother said that it would part us from our friends, and I +thought she was wrong, but I see now that she was right. This is +good-bye." + +Before she could prevent me I dropped on my knees and raised the +jewelled hand to my lips, and kissed it passionately. + +"Oh, for heaven's sake, Westenra," said the Duchess then, "don't go +into hysterics, nor talk in that wild way. Sit down again quietly, +dear, and tell me what sort of person is a boarding-house keeper." + +Her tone made me smile, and relieved the tension. + +"Don't you really know?" I asked; "did you never hear of people who +take paying guests? They swarm at the seaside, and charge exorbitant +prices." + +"Oh, and rob you right and left," said the Duchess; "yes, my friends +have told me of such places. As a rule I go to hotels by preference, +but do you mean, Westenra, that your mother is going to live in +apartments for the future?" + +"No, no," I answered wildly; "she will have a house, and she and I, +both of us, will fill it with what they call paying guests. People +will come and live with us, and pay us so much a week, and we will +provide rooms for them, and food for them, and they will sit with us +in the drawing-room and, and--_perhaps_ we will have to amuse them a +little." + +The Duchess sank feebly back in her chair. She looked me all over. + +"Was there ever?" she asked, "I scarcely like to ask, but was there +ever any trace of insanity in your family?" + +"I have never heard that there was," I replied. "It is certainly not +developing in me. I have always been renowned for my common sense, and +it is coming well to the fore now." + +"My poor child," said the Duchess tenderly. She drew me close to her. +"You are a very ignorant little girl, Westenra," she said, "but I have +always taken a deep interest in you. You are young, but you have a +good deal in your face--you are not exactly pretty, but you have both +intelligence and, what is more important from my point of view, +distinction in your bearing. Your father was my dear and personal +friend. The man he rescued, at the cost of his own life, was my +relation. I have known your mother too since we were both girls, and +when she asked me, after your dear father's death, to stand sponsor to +his child I could not refuse. But now, what confused rigmarole are you +bringing to my ears? When did the first symptoms of this extraordinary +craze begin?" + +"A fortnight ago," I answered, "when the news came that our money, on +which we had been living in great peace and comfort, had suddenly +vanished. The investments were not sound, and one of the trustees was +responsible. You ought to blame him, and be very angry with him, but +please don't blame me. I am only doing the best I can under most +adverse circumstances. If mother and I went to the country we should +both die, not, perhaps, of physical starvation, but certainly of that +starvation which contracts both the mind and soul. It would not matter +at all doing without cream and meat, you know, and----" + +"Oh dear," interrupted the Duchess, "I never felt more bewildered in +my life. Whatever goes wrong, Westenra, people have to live, and now +you speak of doing without the necessaries of life." + +"Meat and cream are not necessary to keep one alive," I replied; "but +of course you have never known the sort of people who do without them. +I should certainly be hand and glove with them if I went into the +country, but in all probability in the boarding-house in Bloomsbury we +shall be able to have good meals. Now I must really say good-bye. Try +and remember sometimes that I am your god-daughter ... and that mother +loves you very much. Don't _quite_ give us both up--that is, as far as +your memory is concerned." + +The Duchess bustled to her feet. "I can't make you out a bit," she +said. "Your head has gone wrong, that is the long and short of it, but +your mother will explain things. Stay to lunch with me, Westenra, and +afterwards we will go and have a talk with your mother. I can either +send her a telegram or a note." + +"Oh, I cannot possibly wait," I replied. "I drove here to-day, but we +must give up the carriage at the end of the week, and I have other +people to see. I must go immediately to Lady Thesiger. You know what +a dear little Yankee she is, and so wise and sensible." + +"She is a pretty woman," said the Duchess, frowning slightly, "but she +does not dress well. Her clothes don't look as if they grew on her. +Now you have a very lissom figure, dear; it always seems to be alive, +but _have_ I heard you aright? You are going to live in apartments. +No; you are going into the country to a labourer's cottage--no, no, it +isn't that; you are going to let apartments to people, and they are +not to have either cream or meat. They won't stay long, that is one +comfort. My poor child, we must get you over this craze. Dr. Paget +shall see you. It is impossible that such a mad scheme should be +allowed for a moment." + +"One thing is certain, she does not take it in, poor darling," I said +to myself. "You are very kind, Duchess," I said aloud, "and I love you +better than I ever loved you before," and then I kissed her hand again +and ran out of the room. The last thing I saw of her round, +good-humoured face, was the pallor on her cheeks and the tears in her +eyes. + +Lady Thesiger lived in a large flat overlooking Kensington Gardens. +She was not up when I called, but I boldly sent my name in; I was told +that her ladyship would see me in her bathroom. I found her reclining +on a low sofa, while a pretty girl was massaging her face. + +"Is that you, Westenra?" she said; "I am charmed to see you. Take off +your hat. That will do, Allison; you can come back in half-an-hour. I +want to be dressed in time for lunch." + +The young woman withdrew, and Lady Thesiger fixed her languid, +heavily-fringed eyes on my face. + +"You might shut that window, Westenra," she said, "that is, if you +mean to be good-natured. Now what is it? you look quite excited." + +"I am out of bondage, that is all," I said. I never treated Jasmine +with respect, and she was a power in her way, but she was little older +than I, and we had often romped together on rainy days, and had +confided our secrets one to the other. + +"Out of bondage? Does that mean that you are engaged?" + +"Far from it; an engagement would probably be a state of bondage. Now +listen, you are going to be awfully shocked, but if you are the good +soul I think you are, you ought to help me." + +"Oh, I am sure I will do anything; I admire you very much, child. Dear +me, Westenra, is that a new way of doing your hair? Let me see. Show +me your profile? I am not sure whether I quite like it. Yes, on the +whole, I think I do. You have pretty hair, very pretty, but now, +confess the truth, you do wave it; all those little curls and tendrils +are not natural." + +"As I love you, Jasmine, they are," I replied. "But oh, don't waste +time now over my personal appearance. What do you think of my physical +strength? Am I well made?" + +"So-so," answered Lady Thesiger, opening her big dark eyes and gazing +at me from top to toe. "I should say you were strong. Your shoulders +are just a trifle too broad, and sometimes I think you are a little +too tall, but of course I admire you immensely. You ought to make a +good marriage; you ought to be a power in society." + +"From this hour, Jasmine," I said, "society and I are at daggers +drawn. I am going to do that sort of thing which society never +forgives." + +"Oh, my dear, what?" Lady Thesiger quite roused herself. She forgot +her languid attitude, and sat up on her elbow. "Do pass me that box of +Fuller's chocolates," she said. "Come near and help yourself; they are +delicious, aren't they?" + +I took one of the sweetmeats. + +"Now then," said her ladyship, "speak." + +"It is this. I must tell you as briefly as possible--mother and I have +lost our money." + +"Oh, dear," said the little lady, "what a pity that so many people do +lose their money--nice people, charming people who want it so much; +but if that is all, it is rather fashionable to be poor. I was told so +the other day. Some one will adopt you, dear; your mother will go into +one of the refined order of almshouses. It is quite the fashion, you +know, quite." + +"Don't talk nonsense," I said, and all the pride which I had inherited +from my father came into my voice. "You may think that mother and I +are low down, but we are not low enough to accept charity. We are +going to put our shoulders to the wheel; we are going to solve the +problem of how the poor live. We will work, for to beg we are ashamed. +In short, Jasmine, this diatribe of mine leads up to the fact that we +are going to start a boarding-house. Now you have the truth, Jasmine. +We expect to have charming people to live with us, and to keep a large +luxurious house, and to retrieve our lost fortune. Our quondam friends +will of course have nothing to do with us, but our real friends will +respect us. I have come here this morning to ask you a solemn +question. Do you mean in the future to consider Westenra Wickham, the +owner of a boarding-house, your friend? If not, say so at once. I want +in this case to cut the Gordian knot quickly. Every single friend I +have shall be told of mother's and my determination before long; the +Duchess knows already." + +"The Duchess of Wilmot?" said Lady Thesiger with a sort of gasp. She +was sitting up on the sofa; there was a flush on each cheek, and her +eyes were very bright. "And what did the Duchess say, Westenra?" + +"She thinks I am mad." + +"I agree with her. My poor child. Do let me feel your forehead. Are +you feverish? Is it influenza, or a real attack of insanity?" + +"It is an attack of downright common-sense," I replied. I rose as I +spoke. "I have told you, Jasmine," I said, "and now I will leave you +to ponder over my tidings. You can be my friend in the future and help +me considerably, or you can cut me, just as you please. As to me, I +feel intensely pleased and excited. I never felt so full of go and +energy in my life. I am going to do that which will prevent mother +feeling the pinch of poverty, and I can tell you that such a deed is +worth hundreds of 'At Homes' and receptions and flirtations. Why, +Jasmine, yesterday I was nobody--only a London girl trying to kill +time by wasting money; but from this out I am somebody. I am a +bread-winner, a labourer in the market. Now, good-bye. You will +realise the truth of my words presently. But I won't kiss you, for if +you decide to cut me you might be ashamed of it." + + + + +CHAPTER III + +MY SCHEME + + +I arrived home early in the afternoon. + +"Dear mother," I said, "I had an interview with the Duchess of Wilmot +and with Lady Thesiger. After seeing them both, I had not the heart to +go on to any more of our friends. I will describe my interview +presently, but I must talk on another matter now. Our undertaking will +be greatly prospered if our friends will stick to us and help us a +little. If, on the other hand, we are not to depend on them, the +sooner we know it the better." + +"What do you mean?" asked my mother. + +"Well, of course, mother dear, we will have our boarding-house. I have +thought of the exact sort of house we want. It must be very large and +very roomy, and the landlord must be willing to make certain +improvements which I will suggest to him. Our boarding-house will be a +sort of Utopia in its way, and people who come there will want to come +again. We will charge good prices, but we will make our guests very +comfortable." + +Mother clasped my hand. + +"Oh, my dear, dear child," she said. "How little you know about what +you are talking. We shall have an empty house; no one will come to us. +Neither you nor I have the faintest idea how to manage. We shall not +only lose all the money we have, but we shall be up to our ears in +debt. I do wish, Westenra, you would consider that simple little +cottage in the country." + +"If it must come to our living within our means," I said slowly, "I +have not the least doubt that the Duchess of Wilmot would allow me to +live with her as a sort of companion and amanuensis, and influence +would be brought to bear to get you rooms in Hampton Court; but would +you consent, mother darling, would you really consent that I should +eat the bread of dependence, and that you should live partly on +charity?" + +Mother coloured. She had a very delicate colour, and it always made +her look remarkably pretty. In her heart of hearts, I really do think +she was taken with the idea of Hampton Court. The ladies who lived in +those suites of apartments were more or less aristocratic, they were +at least all well connected, and she and they might have much in +common. It was, in her opinion, rather a distinction than otherwise to +live there, but I would have none of it. + +"How old are you, mother?" I asked. + +"Forty-three," she answered. + +"Forty-three," I repeated. "Why, you are quite young, just in the +prime of middle-age. What do you mean by sitting with your hands +before you for the rest of your life? You are forty-three, and I am +twenty-one. Do you think for a single moment that able-bodied women, +like ourselves, are to do nothing in the future; for if I did go to +the Duchess my post would be merely a sinecure, and you at Hampton +Court would vegetate, nothing more. Mother, you will come with me, and +help me? We will disregard society; if society is ashamed of us, let +it be ashamed, but we must find out, and I have a scheme to propose." + +"You are so full of schemes, Westenra, you quite carry me away." + +Dear mother looked bewildered, but at the same time proud of me. I +think she saw gleaming in my eyes, which I know were bright and dark +like my father's, some of that spirit which had carried him with a +forlorn hope into the thickest of the fight, and which enabled him to +win the Victoria Cross. There are a great many Victoria Crosses to be +secured in this world, and girls can get and wear some of them. + +"Now," I said, "we need not give up this house until the autumn. The +landlord will then take it off our hands, and we shall move into our +Bloomsbury mansion, but as I did not quite succeed to-day in knowing +exactly how we stood with our friends, I propose that next week we +should give an 'At Home,' a very simple one, mother, nothing but tea +and sweet cakes, and a few sandwiches, no ices, nothing expensive." + +"My dear Westenra, just now, in the height of the season, would any +one come?" + +"Yes, they will come, I will write to all the friends I know, and they +will come out of curiosity. We will invite them for this day +fortnight. I don't know any special one of our friends who has an 'At +Home' on the third Friday in the month. But let me get our 'At Home' +book and see." + +I looked it out, and after carefully examining the long list of our +acquaintances, proclaimed that I thought the third Friday in the month +was a tolerably free day. + +"We will ask them to come at three," I said, "a little early in the +afternoon, so that those who do want to go on to friends afterwards, +will have plenty of time." + +"But why should they come, Westenra; why this great expense and +trouble, just when we are parting with them all, for if I go to +Hampton Court, or the country, or to that awful boarding-house of +yours, my poor child, my days in society are at an end." + +"In one sense they are, mother, nevertheless, I mean to test our +friends. People are very democratic in these days, and there is no +saying, but that I may be more the fashion than ever; but I don't +want to be the fashion, I want to get help in the task which is before +me. Now, do hear me out." + +Mother folded her hands in her lap. Her lips were quivering to speak, +but I held her in control as it were. I stood before her making the +most of my slender height, and spoke with emphasis. + +"We will ask all our friends. Paul will wait on them, and Morris shall +let them in, and everything will be done in the old style, for we have +just the same materials we ever had to give a proper and fashionable +'At Home,' but when they are all assembled, instead of a recitation, +or music, I will jump up and stand in the middle of the room, and +briefly say what we mean to do. I will challenge our friends to leave +us, or to stick to us." + +"Westenra, are you mad? I can never, never consent to this." + +"It is the very best plan, and far less troublesome than going round +to everybody, and they will be slightly prepared, for the dear Duchess +will have mentioned something of what I said this morning to her +friends, and I know she will come. She won't mind visiting us here +just once again, and Jasmine will come, and--and many other people, +and we will put the thing to the test. Yes, mother, this day fortnight +they shall come, and I will write the invitations to-night, and +to-morrow you and I will go to Bloomsbury and look for a suitable +house, for by the time they come, mother, the house will have been +taken, and I hope the agreement made out, and the landlord will have +been consulted, and he will make the improvements I suggest and will +require. It is a big thing, mother, a great big venture for two lone +women like ourselves, but we will succeed, darling, we _must_ +succeed." + +"You are a rock of strength, West," she answered, half proudly, half +sadly, "you are just like your father." + +That night I sent out the invitations. They were ordinary notes of +invitation, for on second thoughts I resolved not to prepare our many +acquaintances beforehand. "Mrs. Wickham at home on such a day," +nothing more. + +I posted the letters and slept like a top that night, and in the +morning awoke with the tingling sensation which generally comes over +me when I have a great deal to do, and when there is an important and +very interesting matter at stake. I used to feel like that at times +when I was at school. On the day when I won the big scholarship, and +was made a sort of queen of by the other girls, I had the sensation +very strongly, and I felt like it also when a terrible illness which +mother had a few years ago came to a crisis, and her precious life lay +in the balance. Here was another crisis in my career, almost the most +important which had come to me yet, and I felt the old verve and the +old strong determination to conquer fate. Fate at present was against +me, but surely I was a match for it: I was young, strong, clever, and +I had a certain _entrée_ into society which might or might not help +me. If society turned its back on me, I could assuredly do without it. +If, on the other hand, it smiled on me, success was assured in +advance. + +I ran downstairs to breakfast in the best of spirits. I had put on my +very prettiest white dress, and a white hat trimmed with soft silk and +feathers. + +"Why, Westenra, dressed already?" said mother. + +"Yes, and you must dress too quickly, Mummy. Oh, there is Paul. Paul, +we shall want the victoria at ten o'clock." + +Paul seemed accustomed to this order now. He smiled and vanished. None +of our servants knew that their tenure with us was ended, that within +a very short time mother and I would know the soft things of life no +more. We were dragging out our last delicious days in the Land of +Luxury; we were soon to enter the Land of Hard Living, the Land of +Endeavour, the Land of Struggle. Might it not be a better, a more +bracing life than our present one? At least it would be a more +interesting life, of that I made sure, even before I plunged into its +depths. + +Mother ate her breakfast quite with appetite, and soon afterwards we +were driving in the direction of Bloomsbury. + +Jenkins, who had lived with us for years, and who had as a matter of +course imbibed some of the aristocratic notions of our neighbourhood, +almost turned up his nose when we told him to stop at the house of a +well-known agent in Bloomsbury. He could not, like the Duchess of +Wilmot, confess that he did not know where Bloomsbury was, but he +evidently considered that something strange and by no means _comme il +faut_ had occurred. + +Presently we reached our destination, it was only half-past ten. + +"Won't you get out, mother?" I asked as I sprang to the pavement. + +"Is it necessary, dear child?" replied mother. + +"I think it is," I answered; "you ought to appear in this matter, I am +too young to receive the respect which I really merit, but with you to +help me--oh, you will do _exactly_ what I tell you, won't you?" + +"My dear girl!" + +"Yes, Mummy, you will, you will." + +I took her hand, and gave it a firm grip, and we went into the +house-agent's together. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE VERDICT + + +The first thing I noticed when I entered the large room where Messrs +Macalister & Co. carried on their business, was a young man, tall and +very well set up, who stood with his back to us. He was talking +earnestly to one of Macalister's clerks, and there was something about +his figure which caused me to look at him attentively. His hair was of +a light shade of brown, and was closely cropped to his well-shaped +head, and his shoulders were very broad and square. He was dressed +well, and had altogether that man-of-the-world, well bred sort of +look, which is impossible to acquire by any amount of outward veneer. +The man who stood with his back to us, and did not even glance round +as we came into the agent's office, was beyond doubt a gentleman. I +felt curiously anxious to see his face, for I was certain it must be a +pleasant one, but in this particular fate did not favour me. I heard +him say to the clerk in a hurried tone-- + +"I will come back again presently," and then he disappeared by another +door, and I heard him walking rapidly away. Mother had doubtless not +noticed the man at all. She was seated near a table, and when the +clerk in question came up to her, seemed indisposed to speak. I gave +her a silent nudge. + +"We want--ahem," said my mother--she cleared her throat, "we are +anxious to look at some houses." + +"Fourteen to fifteen bedrooms in each," I interrupted. + +"Fourteen to fifteen bedrooms," repeated mother. "How many sitting +rooms, Westenra?" + +"Four, five, or six," was my answer. + +"Oh, you require a mansion," said the agent. "Where do you propose to +look for your house, madam?" + +He addressed mother with great respect. Mother again glanced at me. + +"We thought somewhere north," she said; "or north-west," she added. + +"W.C.," I interrupted; "Bloomsbury, we wish to settle in Bloomsbury." + +"Perhaps, Westenra," said my mother, "you had better describe the +house. My daughter takes a great interest in houses," she added in an +apologetic tone to the clerk. The face of the clerk presented a blank +appearance, he showed neither elation nor the reverse at having a +young lady to deal with instead of an old lady. He began to trot out +his different houses, to explain their advantages, their aristocratic +positions. + +"Aristocratic houses in Bloomsbury--aristocratic!" said mother, and +there was a tone of almost scorn in her voice. + +"I assure you it is the case, madam. Russell Square is becoming quite +the fashion again, and so is"--he paused--"Would Tavistock Square suit +you?" he said, glancing at me. + +"I do not know," I answered. "I seem to be better acquainted with the +names of Russell Square or Bloomsbury Square. After all, if we can get +a large enough house it does not greatly matter, provided it is in +Bloomsbury. We wish to see several houses, for we cannot decide +without a large choice." + +"You would not be induced, ladies, to think of a flat?" queried the +agent. + +Mother glanced at me; there was almost an appeal in her eyes. If I +could only be induced to allow her to live in a tiny, tiny flat--she +and I alone on our one hundred and fifty a year--but my eyes were +bright with determination, and I said firmly-- + +"We wish to look at houses, we do not want a flat." + +Accordingly, after a little more argument, we were supplied with +orders to view, and returning to the carriage I gave brief directions +to Jenkins. + +During the rest of the morning we had a busy time. We went from one +house to another. Most were large; some had handsome halls and wide +staircases, and double doors, and other relics of past grandeur, but +all were gloomy and dirty, and mother became more and more depressed, +and more and more hopeless, as she entered each one in turn. + +"Really, Westenra," she said, "we cannot do it. No, my darling, it is +hopeless. Think of the staff of servants we should require. Do look at +these stairs, it is quite worth counting them. My dear child, such a +life would kill me." + +But I was young and buoyant, and did not feel the stairs, and my +dreams seemed to become more rosy as obstacles appeared in view. I was +determined to conquer, I had made up my mind to succeed. + +"Whatever happens you shall not have a tiring time," I said +affectionately to my dear mother, and then I asked one of the +caretakers to give her a chair, and she sat in the great wide desolate +drawing-room while I ran up and down stairs, and peeped into +cupboards, and looked all over the house, and calculated, as fast as +my ignorant brain would allow me, the amount of furniture which would +be necessary to start the mansion I had in view. + +For one reason or another most of the houses on the agent's list were +absolutely impossible for our purpose, but at last we came to one +which seemed to be the exact thing we required. It was a corner house +in a square called Graham Square, and was not so old by fifty years as +the houses surrounding it. In height also it was a storey lower, but +being a corner house it had a double frontage, and was in consequence +very large and roomy. There were quite six or seven sitting rooms, and +I think there were up to twenty bedrooms in the house, and it had a +most cheerful aspect, with balconies round the drawing-room windows, +and balconies to the windows of the bedrooms on the first floor. I +made up my mind on the spot that the inmates of these special rooms +should pay extra for the privilege of such delightful balconies. And +the windows of the house were large, and when it was all re-papered +and re-painted according to my modern ideas, I knew that we could +secure a great deal of light in the rooms; and then besides, one whole +side faced south-east, and would scarcely ever be cold in winter, +whereas in summer it would be possible to render it cool by sun-blinds +and other contrivances. Yes, the house would do exactly. + +I ran downstairs to mother, who had by this time given up climbing +those many, many stairs, and told her that I had found the exact house +for our purpose. + +"Seventeen Graham Square is magnificent," I said. "My dearest, darling +mother, in ten years time we shall be rich women if we can only secure +this splendid house for our purpose." + +"We do not even know the rent," said mother. + +"Oh, the rent," I cried. "I forgot about that. I will look on the +order to view." + +I held it in my hand and glanced at it. Just for a moment my heart +stood still, for the corner house commanded a rental of two hundred +and eighty pounds a year. Not at all dear for so big a mansion, but +with rates and taxes and all the other etceteras it certainly was a +serious item for us to meet, and would be considered even by the most +sanguine people as a most risky speculation. + +"Never mind, never mind," I cried eagerly, "we will secure this house; +I do not think we need look at any of the others." + +I crumpled up the remaining orders. Mother stepped into the carriage, +and Jenkins took us back to the agent's. + +"You must speak this time, Westenra," said mother. "Remember it is +your scheme, darling; I am not at all accustomed to this sort of +business; it will be necessary for you to take the initiative." + +"Very well, mother, I will; and suppose you stay in the carriage." I +uttered these last words in a coaxing tone, for the tired look on her +face almost frightened me, and I did not want her to take any of the +worry of what I already called to myself "Westenra's grand scheme." + +I entered the office, and the man who had attended to us in the +morning came forward. I told him briefly that of the many houses which +we had looked over, the only one which would suit our purpose was No. +17 Graham Square. + +"Ah," he answered, "quite the handsomest house on our list. Do you +want it for your own occupation, Miss--Miss----" + +"Wickham," I said. "Yes, of course we want the house for +ourselves--that is, mother would like to rent it." + +"It is a high rent," said the man, "not of course high for such a fine +mansion, but higher than the rest of the houses in the Square. It +contains a great many rooms." He glanced at me as though he meant to +say something impertinent, but, reading an expression of determination +on my face, he refrained. + +"How soon can we take possession of the house?" I asked. "It would of +course be papered and painted for us?" + +"If you take a lease, not otherwise," answered Macalister's clerk. + +"I think we would take a lease," I replied. "What is the usual +length?" + +"Seven, fourteen, twenty-one years," he answered glibly; "but I do not +think the landlords round here would grant a longer lease than +fourteen years." + +"Oh, that would be quite long enough," I answered emphatically. "We +should like to arrange the matter as soon as possible, we are greatly +pleased with the house. Of course the drains must be carefully tested, +and the entire place would have to be re-decorated from cellar to +attic." + +"For a fourteen years' lease I doubt not this would be done," said the +man, "but of course there are several matters to be gone into. You +want the house for a private residence, do you not?" + +"Yes, and no," I said faintly. There was a room just beyond where I +was seated, and at that moment I heard a book fall heavily to the +ground. It startled me. Was any one in there listening to what we were +saying? + +The clerk stepped forward and quietly closed the door. + +"To be frank with you," I said, "we wish to secure 17 Graham Square in +order to start a boarding-house there." + +The man immediately laid down the large book in which he had been +taking my orders. + +"That will never do," he said. "We cannot allow business of any sort +to be carried on in the house, it would destroy all the rest of the +property. It is far too aristocratic for anything of the kind." + +"But our house would be practically private," I said; "I mean," I +continued, stammering and blushing, and feeling ready to sink through +the floor, "that our guests would be extremely nice and well-behaved +people." + +"Oh, I have no doubt whatever of that," replied the clerk, "but there +is a condition in every lease in that special Square, that money is +not to be earned on the premises. I presume your guests would not +come to you for nothing?" + +"Certainly not," I replied. I felt myself turning cold and stiff. All +the angry blood of my noble ancestors stirred in my veins. I said a +few more words and left the shop. + +"Well?" asked mother. She was looking dreary and terribly huddled up +in the carriage. It was a warm day, but I think going through those +empty houses had chilled her. "Well, Westenra, have you taken No. 17?" + +"Alas! no," I answered in some heat; "would you believe it, mother, +the agent says the landlord will not let us the house if we make money +in it." + +"If we make money in it? I do not understand," answered mother. Her +blue eyes were fixed on my face in an anxious way. + +"Why, mother, darling, don't you know we meant to fill the house with +paying guests." + +"Oh, I forgot," said mother. "Home, Jenkins, as fast as possible." + +Jenkins whipped up the horses, and we trotted home. Mother looked +distinctly relieved. + +"So you have not taken the house?" she said. + +"I cannot get it," I answered. "It is more than provoking. What are we +to do? I had taken such a fancy to the place." + +"It did seem, for that benighted place, fairly cheerful," said my +mother, "but, Westenra, there is a Providence guiding our paths. +Doubtless Providence does not intend you to wreck your young life +attending to lodgers." + +"But, mother dear, don't you understand that we must do something for +our living? It is disappointing, but we shall get over it somehow." + +During the rest of that day mother refused even to discuss the +boarding-house scheme. She seemed to think that because we could not +get 17 Graham Square, there was no other house available for our +purpose. + +The next day I went out without mother. I did not visit the same +agent. After finding myself in Bloomsbury I repaired to a post-office, +and, taking down the big Directory, secured the names of several +agents in the neighbourhood. These I visited in turn. I had dressed +myself very plainly; I had travelled to my destination by 'bus. I +thought that I looked exactly what I felt--a very business-like young +woman. Already the gulf was widening between my old and my new life. +Already I was enjoying my freedom. + +Once more I was supplied with a list of houses, and once again I +trotted round to see them. Alack and alas! how ugly empty houses did +look; how dilapidated and dirty were the walls without the pictures +and bookcases! How dreary were those countless flights of stairs, +those long narrow windows, those hopelessly narrow halls; and then, +the neighbourhood of these so-called mansions was so sordid. Could we +by any possible means brighten such dwellings? Could we make them fit +to live in? I visited them all, and finally selected three of these. +Two had a clause forbidding the letting out of apartments, but the +third and least desirable of the houses was to be the absolute +property of the tenant to do what he liked with. + +"That mansion," said the obliging agent, "you can sublet to your +heart's content, madam. It is a very fine house, only one hundred and +eighty pounds a year. There are ten bedrooms and five sitting-rooms. +You had better close with it at once." + +But this I could not do. The outlook from this house was so hideous; +the only way to it was through an ugly, not to say hideous, +thoroughfare. I thought of my delicate, aristocratic mother here. I +thought of the friends whom I used to know visiting us in 14 Cleveland +Street, and felt my castle in the clouds tumbling about my ears. What +was to be done! + +"I cannot decide to-day," I said; "I will let you know." + +"You will lose it, madam," said the agent. + +"Nevertheless, I cannot decide so soon; I must consult my mother." + +"Very well, madam," said the man, in a tone of disappointment. + +I left his office and returned home. + +For the next few days I scarcely spoke at all about my project. I was +struggling to make up my mind to the life which lay before us if we +took 14 Cleveland Street. The street itself was somewhat narrow; the +opposite houses seemed to bow at their neighbours; the rooms, although +many, were comparatively small; and last, but by no means least, the +landlord would do very little in the way of decoration. + +"We can let houses of this kind over and over again," said the agent, +"I don't say that Mr. Mason won't have the ceilings whitened for you, +but as to papering, no; the house don't require it. It was done up for +the last tenant four years ago." + +"And why has the last tenant left?" I asked. + +"Owing to insolvency, madam," was the quick reply, and the man darted +a keen glance into my face. + +Insolvency! I knew what that meant. It was another word for ruin, for +bankruptcy. In all probability, if we took that detestable house, we +also would have to leave on account of insolvency, for what nice, +cheerful, paying guests would care to live with us there? I shook my +head. Surely there must be somewhere other houses to let. + +During the next few days I spent all my time searching for houses. I +got quite independent, and, I think, a little roughened. I was more +brusque than usual in my manners. I became quite an adept at jumping +in and out of omnibuses. I could get off omnibuses quite neatly when +they were going at a fairly good pace, and the conductors, I am sure, +blessed me in their hearts for my agile movements. Then the agents all +round Bloomsbury began to know me. Finally, one of them said, on the +event of my fourth visit-- + +"Had you not better try further afield, Miss? There are larger, +brighter, and newer houses in the neighbourhood of Highbury, for +instance." + +"No," I said, "we must live in Bloomsbury." Then I noticed that the +man examined me all over in quite a disagreeable fashion, and then he +said slowly-- + +"14 Cleveland Street is still to be had, Miss, but of course you +understand that the landlord will want the usual references." + +"References!" I cried. "He shall certainly have them if he requires +them." And then I wondered vaguely, with a queer sinking at my heart, +to whom of all our grand friends I might apply who would vouch for us +that we would not run away without paying the rent. Altogether, I felt +most uncomfortable. + +The days passed. No more likely houses appeared on the horizon, and at +last the afternoon came when our friends were to visit us, when I, +Westenra, was to break to these fashionable society people my wild +project. But I had passed through a good deal of the hardening process +lately, and was not at all alarmed when the important day dawned. This +was to be our very last entertainment. After that we would step down. + +Mother, exquisitely dressed in dove-coloured satin, waited for her +guests in the drawing-room. I was in white. I had given up wearing +white when I was going about in omnibuses, but I had several charming +costumes for afternoon and evening wear still quite fresh, and I +donned my prettiest dress now, and looked at my face in the glass with +a certain amount of solicitude. I saw before me a very tall, slender +girl; my eyes were grey. I had a creamy, pale complexion, and +indifferently good features. There were some people who thought me +pretty, but I never did think anything of my looks myself. I gave my +own image a careless nod now, and ran briskly downstairs. + +"You'll be very careful what you say to our guests, Westenra?" queried +mother. "This whole scheme of yours is by no means to my liking. I +feel certain that the dear Duchess and Lady Thesiger will feel that +they have been brought here unfairly. It would have been far franker +and better to tell them that something singularly unpleasant was about +to occur." + +"But, dearest mother, why should it be unpleasant? and it is the +fashion of the day to have sensation at any cost. Our guests will +always look back on this afternoon as a sort of red letter day. Just +think for yourself how startled and how interested they will be. +Whether they approve, or whether they disapprove, it will be immensely +interesting and out of the common, mother. O mother! think of it!" I +gripped her hand tightly, and she said-- + +"Don't squeeze me so hard, Westenra, I shall need all my pluck." + +Well, the hour came and also the guests. They arrived in goodly +numbers. There was the usual fashionable array of carriages outside +our door. There were footmen in livery and coachmen, and stately and +magnificently groomed horses, and the guests poured up the stairs and +entered our drawing rooms, and the chatter-chatter and hum-hum of +ordinary society conversation began. Everything went as smoothly as it +always did, and all the time my mother chatted with that courtly grace +which made her look quite in the same state of life as the Duchess of +Wilmot. In fact the only person in the room who looked at all nervous +was the said Duchess. She had a way of glancing from me to mother, as +if she was not quite sure of either of us, and once as I passed her, +she stretched out her hand and touched me on my sleeve. + +"Eh, Westenra?" she said. + +"Yes, your Grace," I replied. + +"All that silliness, darling, that you talked to me the other day, is +quite knocked on the head, is it not? Oh, I am so relieved." + +"You must wait and find out," was my reply. "I have something to say +to every one soon, and oh please, try not to be too shocked with me." + +"You are an incorrigible girl," she replied, but she shook her head +quite gaily at me. She evidently had not the slightest idea of what I +was going to do. + +As to my special friend Jasmine Thesiger, she was as usual surrounded +by an admiring group of men and women, and gave me no particular +thought. I looked from one to the other of all our guests: I did not +think any more were likely to come. All those who had been specially +invited had arrived. My moment had come. Just then, however, just +before I rose from my seat to advance into the middle of the room, I +noticed coming up the stairs a tall, broad-shouldered man. He was +accompanied by a friend of ours, a Mr. Walters, a well-known artist. I +had never seen this man before, and yet I fancied, in a sort of +intangible way, that his figure was familiar. I just glanced at him +for a moment, and I do not believe he came into the room. He stood a +little behind Mr. Walters, who remained in the doorway. My hour had +come. I glanced at mother. Poor darling, she turned very white. I +think she was almost terrified, but as to myself I felt quite +cheerful, and not in the least alarmed. + +"I want to say something to all my dear friends," I began. I had a +clear voice, and it rose above the babel. There came sudden and +profound silence. + +I saw a lady nudge her neighbour. + +"I did not know," I heard her say, "that Westenra recited," and then +she settled herself in a comfortable attitude to listen. + +I stood in the middle of the floor, and faced everybody. + +"I have something to say," I began, "and it is not a recitation. I +have asked you all to come here to-day to listen to me." I paused and +looked round. How nice our guests looked, how kind, how beautifully +dressed! What good form the men were in, and how aristocratic were the +women. How different these men and women were from the people I had +associated with during the week--the people who took care of the +houses in Bloomsbury, the agents who let the houses, the people whom I +had met in the busses going to and from the houses. These nice, +pleasant, well-bred people belonged to me, they were part and parcel +of my own set; I was at home with them. + +I just caught the Duchess's eye for a moment, and I think there was +alarm in those brown depths, but she was too essentially a woman of +the world to show anything. She just folded her jewelled hands in her +lap, leant back in her chair, and prepared to listen. One or two of +the men, I think, raised their eye-glasses to give me a more critical +glance, but soon even that mark of special attention subsided. Of +course it was a recitation. People were beginning to be tired of +recitations. + +"I want to say something, and I will say it as briefly as possible," I +commenced. "Mother does not approve of it, but she will do it, because +she has yielded to me as a dear, good, _modern_ mother ought." + +Here there was a little laugh, and some of the tension was lessened. + +"I want to tell you all," I continued, "for most of you have been our +friends since I was a child, that mother and I are--poor. There is +nothing disgraceful in being poor, is there? but at the same time it +is unpleasant, unfortunate. We were fairly well off. Now, through no +fault of our own, we have lost our money." + +The visitors looked intensely puzzled, and also uncomfortable, but now +I raised my eyes a little above them. It was necessary that if I went +on putting them to the test, I should not look them full in the face. + +"We are poor," I continued, "therefore we cannot live any longer in +this house. From having a fair competence, not what many of you would +consider riches, but from having a fair competence, we have come down +to practically nothing. We could live, it is true, in the depths of +the country, on the very little which has been saved out of the wreck, +but I for one do not wish to do that. I dislike what is called decent +poverty, I dislike the narrow life, the stultifying life, the mean +life. I am my father's daughter. You have heard of my father, that is +his picture"--I pointed as I spoke to an oil painting on the wall. +"You know that he was a man of action, I also will act." I hurried my +voice a trifle here--"So mother and I mean not to accept what many +people would consider the inevitable; but we mean, to use a vulgar +phrase, to better ourselves." + +Now it is certain, our guests were a little surprised. They began to +fidget, and one or two men came nearer, and I thought, though I am not +sure, that I saw the tall man, with the head of closely cropped hair, +push forward to look at me. But I never looked any one full in the +eyes; I fixed mine on father's picture. I seemed to hear father's +voice saying to me-- + +"Go on, Westenra, that was very good, you and I are people of action, +remember." + +So I went on and I explained my scheme. I told it very briefly. Mother +and I would in future earn our own living. + +I was educated fairly well, but I had no special gifts, so I would not +enter the Arena where teachers struggled and fought and bled, and +many of them fell by the wayside. Nor would I enter the Arena of Art, +because in no sense of the word was I an artist, nor would I go on the +Stage, for my talent did not lie in that direction, but I had certain +talents, and they were of a practical sort. I could keep accounts +admirably; I could, I believed, manage a house. Then I skilfully +sketched in that wonderful boarding-house of my dreams, that house in +dull Bloomsbury, which by my skill and endeavour would be bright and +render an acceptable home for many. Finally, I said that my mother and +I had made up our minds to leave the fashionable part of London and to +retire to Bloomsbury. + +"We will take our house from September," I said, "and advertise very +soon for paying guests, and we hope the thing will do well, and that +in ten or twelve years we shall have made enough money to keep +ourselves for the future in comfort. Now," I continued, "I appeal to +no one to help us. We do not intend to borrow money from anybody, and +the only reason I am speaking to you to-day is because I wish, and I +am sure mother agrees with me, to be quite frank with you. Mother and +I know quite well that we are doing an absolutely unconventional +thing, and that very likely you, as our friends of the past, will +resent it. Those of you who do not feel that you can associate with +two ladies who keep a boarding-house, need not say so in so many +words, but you can give us to understand, by means known best to +yourselves, whether you will know us in the future. If you want to cut +us we shall consider it quite right, quite reasonable, quite fair. +Then those who do intend to stick to us, even through this great +change in our lives, may be the greatest possible help by recommending +us and our boarding-house to their friends, that is, if any of you +present have friends who would live in Bloomsbury. + +"Mother and I thought it quite fair that you should know, and we +thought it best that I should tell you quite simply. We are neither of +us ashamed, and mother approves, or at least she will approve +presently, of what I have done." + +There was a dead silence when I ceased speaking, followed by a slight +rustling amongst the ladies. The men looked one and all intensely +uncomfortable, and the tall man who had come in with Mr Walters, the +artist, disappeared altogether. + +I had not been nervous while I was speaking, but I felt nervous now. I +knew that I was being weighed in the balance, that I and my scheme +were being held up before the mental eyes of these people with the +keenest, most scathing criticism. Would one in all that crowd +understand me? I doubted it. Perhaps in my first sensation of sinking +and almost despair something of my feeling stole into my face, for +suddenly Jasmine sprang to her feet and said in an excited, tremulous +voice-- + +"I for one say that Westenra is a very plucky girl. I wish her God +speed, and I hope her scheme will succeed." + +This was very nice indeed of Jasmine, but I do not know that it +relieved the situation much, for still the others were silent, and +then one lady got up and went over to mother and took her hand and +said-- + +"I am very sorry for you, dear Mrs. Wickham, very sorry indeed. I fear +I must say good-bye now; I am very sorry. Good-bye, dear Mrs. +Wickham." + +And this lady's example was followed by most of the other ladies, +until at last there was no one left in the room but the Duchess of +Wilmot and Lady Thesiger and ourselves. Lady Thesiger's cheeks were +brightly flushed. + +"My dear Westenra," she said, "you are one of the most eccentric +creatures in creation. Of course from first to last you are as wrong +as you can be. You know nothing about keeping a boarding-house, and +you are bound to fail. I could not say so before all those ridiculous +people, who would not have understood, but I say so now to you. My +dear girl, your speech was so much Greek to them. You spoke over their +heads or under their feet, just as you please to put it, but +comprehend you they did not. You will be the talk of the hour, and +they will mention you as a girl whom they used to know, but who has +gone a little mad, and then you will be forgotten. You would have +done fifty times better by keeping this thing to yourself." + +"That is precisely what I think," said the Duchess. "My dear Mary," +she added, turning to my mother, "what is the matter with your child? +Is she quite _right_?" The Duchess gave an expressive nod, and I saw +mother's face turn pale. + +"Oh, do listen to me for a moment," interrupted pretty Lady Thesiger, +"what I say is this. Westenra is on the wrong tack. If she wishes to +earn money, why must she earn it in this preposterous, impossible +manner? It would be fifty times better for her to go as a teacher or a +secretary, but to keep a boarding-house! You see for yourself, dear +Mrs. Wickham, that it is impossible. As long as we live in society we +must adhere to its rules, and for West calmly to believe that people +of position in London will know her and respect her when she is a +boarding-house keeper, is to expect a miracle. Now, I for one will not +cut you, Westenra." + +"Nor will I cut you, Westenra," said the Duchess, and she gave a +profound sigh and folded her hands in her lap. + +"Two of your friends will not cut you, but I really think all the +others will," said Lady Thesiger. "Then I suppose you expect me to +recommend nice Americans to come and stay with you, but it is my +opinion that, with your no knowledge at all of this sort of thing, you +will keep a very so-so, harum-scarum sort of house. How can I +recommend my nice American friends to be made thoroughly uncomfortable +by you? Oh, I am _very_ sorry for you." + +Lady Thesiger got up as she spoke; she kissed me, squeezed my hand, +and said, "Oh child, what a goose you are!" and left the room. + +The Duchess followed more slowly. + +"I don't forget, my child," she said, "that I am your godmother, that +I loved your dear father, that I love your mother, that I also love +you. Do not be wilful, Westenra; give up this mad scheme. There are +surely other ways open to you in this moment of misfortune. Above all +things, try not to forget that you are your father's daughter." + + + + +CHAPTER V + +JANE MULLINS + + +On the evening which followed our last "At Home," mother came to me, +and earnestly begged of me to pause and reflect. + +"Wherever you go I will go, Westenra," she said; "that may be taken as +a matter of course, but I do think you are wrong to go against all the +wishes of our friends." + +"But our friends won't do anything for us, Mummy!" I answered, "and +they will forget us just as soon in the cottage in the country, as +they will in the boarding-house in town; sooner, in fact, if that is +any consolation to you, and I do want to try it, Mummy, for I cannot +be buried alive in the country at twenty-one." + +"Then I will say no more," replied mother. "I only trust the way may +be made plain for us, for at present I cannot see that it is; but if +we can find a suitable house, and take it, I will go with you, West, +although, darling, I hate the thing--I do truly." + +After this speech of mother's it can easily be supposed that I slept +badly that night. I began for the first time in my life to doubt +myself, and my own judgment. I began even seriously to consider the +cottage in the country with its genteel poverty, and I began to wonder +if I was to spend the remainder of my youth getting thinner in mind +and body, day by day, and hour by hour. + +"Anæmic," I said to myself. "In the country with no money, and no +interests, I shall become anæmic. My thoughts will be feeble and +wanting in force, and I shall die long before my time a miserable old +maid. Now, there are no real old maids in London. The unmarried women +are just as full of force, and go, and common-sense, and ambition, and +happiness as the married ones; but in the country, oh, it is +different. There old age comes before its time. I knew that I was not +the girl to endure having nothing to do, and yet that seemed to be my +appointed portion. So during the night I shed very bitter tears, and I +hated society for its coldness and want of comprehension. I longed +more frantically than ever to find myself in the midst of the people, +where "a man was a man for a' that," and mere veneer went for nothing. +But if mother's heart was likely to be broken by my taking this step, +and if there was no house for me but 14 Cleveland Street, I doubted +very much whether I could go on with my scheme. Judge therefore of my +surprise and delight, when on the following morning, mother handed me +a letter which she had just received. It was from Messrs. Macalister +& Co. + +"Read it," she said, "I do not quite know what it means." + +I read the letter quickly, it ran as follows:-- + + "DEAR MADAM,--We write to acquaint you, that we have just + had an interview with Mr. Hardcastle, the landlord of 17 + Graham Square, and he desires us to say, that he is willing + in your case to come to terms with regard to his house, and + if you will take it for a lease of fourteen years, he will + do it up for you, in the most approved style, and according + to your own taste; he also withdraws his embargo to your + letting apartments, or having paying guests in your house. + + "Under the circumstances, we shall be glad to hear if you + still entertain the idea of taking this mansion. + + --Yours faithfully, + MACALISTER & CO." + +"Oh mother!" I cried, "this is just splendid!" My spirits rose with a +bound. Anxious as I was to possess a boarding-house, I hated going to +14 Cleveland Street, but 17 Graham Square was a house where any one +might be happy. It was charmingly built; it was large, commodious, +cheerful, and then the landlord--he must be a delightful man when he +withdrew his embargo, when he permitted us--_us_ to have paying guests +in our dwelling. Even Jasmine need not be ashamed to send her nice, +rich American friends to 17 Graham Square. + +"This is splendid, mother!" I repeated. + +"Dear me, Westenra," said mother, looking pale and troubled, "what +house is he alluding to? I saw so many that first day, darling, and +the only impression they left upon me was, that they were all stairs +and narrowness; they seemed to go up and up, for ever and ever, my +legs ache even now when I think of them." + +"But you cannot forget 17 Graham Square," I said, "the last house we +saw ... the corner-house. You recollect the hall, how wide it was, and +you know there were darling balconies, and you shall have one, little +mother, all to yourself, and such a sweet sun-blind over it, and you +can keep your favourite plants there, and be, oh, so happy! +Mother--mother, this is magnificent!" + +"I do recall the house now," said mother, "it was not quite as bad as +the other houses; but still, Westenra, what does this mean? Why should +there be an exception made in our favour?" + +"Oh, that I know nothing about," I answered, "I suppose the landlord +was not going to be so silly as to lose good tenants." + +"And what is the rent of the house ... I forget." + +"Two hundred and something," I said in a careless tone, "not at all +high for such a house, and the landlord, Mr. Hardcastle, will do it +up for us. Mother, we will have the carriage, and go and make our +arrangements immediately." + +"Then you are quite determined, West?" + +"Mother, dear mother, I do think father would like us to do it." + +Now, whenever I spoke of my dead father, mother looked intensely +solemn and subdued. Once she told me that she thought there was a +strong link between my father's spirit and mine, and that at times I +spoke so exactly like him, and made use of the identically same +expressions, and in short impressed her with the feeling that he was +close to her. I did not often use my father's name, therefore, as a +means of power over my mother, but I did use it now; and, with the +usual result, she got up gently and said-- + +"We had better go and see the house once more." + +We did go, we drove straight to the agents, and got the order to view, +and went all over 17 Graham Square. Our second visit was far more +delightful than the first, for the agent's clerk accompanied us. We +found him in an excellent humour, most willing to offer suggestions +and to accept any suggestions of ours. Not that mother made any, it +was I who, with my usual daring, spoke of this improvement and the +other. + +But darling mother became a little cheerful when she stood in that +noble drawing-room and saw the sun shining in bars across the floor, +and the agent's clerk was quite astonishingly cheery; he knew just the +colour the paper ought to be, for instance, and the tone of the paint, +and he even suggested what curtains would go with such paper and such +paint. I never saw a man so improved. He had lost his brusqueness, and +was very anxious to please us. + +"It is extraordinary," said mother afterwards; "really I never knew +that house-agents could be such agreeable people. No. 17 Graham Square +is a handsome house, Westenra, it is a great pity that it is not +situated in Mayfair." + +"But mother, dear mother, we could not have a boarding-house in the +very midst of our friends," I said with a smile; "we shall do +splendidly in Graham Square, and we should not do at all well in +Mayfair." + +When we returned to the agents, Mr. Macalister himself, one of the +heads of the firm, came and interviewed us. After answering a great +many questions, it was finally decided that he was to see Mr. +Hardcastle, the landlord, and that the landlord was to have an +interview the next day with mother; and the agent further agreed that +the landlord should call on mother at our own house in Sumner Place, +and then we drove home. + +"I suppose it is completed now," said mother, "the thing is done. +Well, child, you are having your own way; it will be a lesson to you, +I only trust we shall not be quite ruined. I am already puzzled to +know how we are to meet that enormous rent." + +But at that moment of my career I thought nothing at all about the +rent. That night I slept the sleep of the just, and was in high +spirits the following day, when the landlord, a nice, jovial, +rosy-faced man, arrived, accompanied by the agent. They both saw my +mother, who told them frankly that she knew nothing about business, +and so perforce they found themselves obliged to talk to me. +Everything was going smoothly until Mr. Hardcastle said in the very +quietest of tones-- + +"Of course you understand, Mrs. Wickham, that I shall require +references. I am going to lay out a good deal of money on the house, +and references are indispensable." + +"Of course," answered mother, but she looked pale and nervous. + +"What sort of references?" I asked. + +"Tradesmen's references are what we like best," was his reply; "but +your banker's will be all-sufficient--an interview with your banker +with regard to your deposit will make all safe." + +Then mother turned paler than ever, and looked first at me and then at +Mr. Hardcastle. After a pause she said slowly-- + +"My daughter and I would not undertake our present scheme if we had +capital--we have not any." + +"Not any?" said Mr. Hardcastle, looking blank, "and yet you propose +to take a house with a rental of two hundred and eighty pounds a +year." + +"We mean to pay the rent out of the profit we get from the boarders," +I replied. + +Mr. Hardcastle did not make use of an ugly word, but he raised his +brows, looked fixedly at me for a moment, and then shook his head. + +"I am sorry," he said, rising; "I would do a great deal to oblige you, +for you are both most charming ladies, but I cannot let my house +without references. If you, for instance, Mrs. Wickham, could get any +one to guarantee the rent, I should be delighted to let you the house +and put it in order, but not otherwise." + +He added a few more words, and then he and the agent, both of them +looking very gloomy, went away. + +"I shall hear from you doubtless on the subject of references," said +Mr. Hardcastle as he bowed himself out, "and I will keep the offer +open until Saturday." + +This was Wednesday, we had three days to spare. + +"Now, Westenra," said my mother, "the thing has come to a stop of +itself. Providence has interfered, and I must honestly say I am glad. +From the first the scheme was mad, and as that nice, jovial looking +Mr. Hardcastle will not let us the house without our having capital, +and as we have no capital, there surely is an end to the matter. I +have not the slightest doubt, West, that all the other landlords in +Bloomsbury will be equally particular, therefore we must fall back +upon our little cottage in----" + +"No, mother," I interrupted, "no; I own that at the present moment I +feel at my wits' end, but I have not yet come to the cottage in the +country." + +I think there were tears in my eyes, for mother opened her arms wide. + +"Kiss me," she said. + +I ran into her dear arms, and laid my head on her shoulder. + +"Oh, you are the sweetest thing on earth," I said, "and it is because +you are, and because I love you so passionately, I will not let you +degenerate. I will find my way through somehow." + +I left mother a moment later, and I will own it, went to my own +lovely, lovely room, suitable for a girl who moved in the best +society, and burst into tears. It was astonishing what a sudden +passion I had taken, as my friends would say, to degrade myself; but +this did not look like degradation in my eyes, it was just honest +work. We wanted money, and we would earn it; we would go in debt to no +man; we would earn money for ourselves. But then the thought came to +me, "Was my scheme too expensive? had I any right to saddle mother +with such an enormous rent?" I had always considered myself a very +fair arithmetician, and I now sat down and went carefully into +accounts. I smile to this day as I think of myself seated at my +little table in the big bay window of my bedroom, trying to make out +with pencil and paper how I could keep 17 Graham Square going--I, a +girl without capital, without knowledge, without any of the sort of +experience which alone could aid me in a crisis of this sort. + +I spent the rest of the day in very low spirits, for my accounts would +not, however hard I tried, show any margin of profit. + +The more difficulties came in my way, however, the more determined was +I to overcome them. Presently I took a sheet of paper and wrote a few +lines to Mr. Hardcastle. I knew his address, and wrote to him direct. + +"Dear sir," I said, "will you oblige me by letting me know what +capital my mother will require in order to become your tenant for 17 +Graham Square." + +I signed this letter, adding a postscript, "An early answer will +oblige." + +I received the answer about noon the following day. + + "DEAR MISS WICKHAM,--Your letter puzzles me. I see you have + a great deal of pluck and endeavour, and I should certainly + do my utmost to please you, but I cannot let you have the + house under a capital of five thousand pounds." + +The letter fell from my hands, and I sat in blank despair. Five +thousand pounds is a small sum to many people, to others it is as +impossible and as unget-at-able as the moon. We, when our debts were +paid, would have nothing at all to live on except the annuity which my +mother received from the Government, and a small sum of fifty pounds a +year. + +I began dismally to consider what rent we must pay for the awful +cottage in the country, and to what part of the country it would be +best to retire, when Paul came into the room and presented me with a +card. + +"There's a lady--a person, I mean--downstairs, and she wants to see +you, Miss." + +I took the card and read the name--Miss Jane Mullins. + +"Who is she?" I asked; "I don't know her." + +"She's a sort of betwixt and between, Miss. I showed her into the +li'bry. I said you was most likely engaged, but that I would inquire." + +"Miss Jane Mullins." I read the name aloud. "Show her up, Paul," I +said then. + +"Oh, my dear West, what do you mean?" said mother; "that sort of +person has probably called to beg." + +"She may as well beg in the drawing-room as anywhere else," I said. "I +have rather taken a fancy to her name--Jane Mullins." + +"A hideous name," said mother; but she did not add any more, for the +next moment there came a rustle of harsh silk on the landing, the +drawing-room door was flung open by Paul in his grandest style, and +Miss Jane Mullins walked in. She entered quickly, with a determined +step. She was a little woman, stoutly built, and very neatly and at +the same time quietly dressed. Her dress was black silk, and I saw at +a glance that the quality of the silk was poor. It gave her a harsh +appearance, which was further intensified by a kind of fixed colour in +her cheeks. Her face was all over a sort of chocolate red. She had +scanty eyebrows and scanty hair, her eyes were small and twinkling, +she had a snub nose and a wide mouth. Her age might have been from +thirty-five to forty. She had, however, a great deal of +self-possession, and did not seem at all impressed by my +stately-looking mother and by my tall, slender self. + +As she had asked particularly to see me, mother now retired to the +other end of the long drawing-room and took up a book. I invited Miss +Mullins to a chair. + +"I would a great deal rather you called me Jane at once and have done +with it," was her remarkable response to this; "but I suppose Jane +will come in time." Here she heaved a very deep sigh, raised her veil +of spotted net, and taking out her handkerchief, mopped her red face. + +"It's a warm day," she said, "and I walked most of the way. I suppose +you would like me to proceed to business. I have come, Miss +Wickham--Miss Westenra Wickham--to speak on the subject of 17 Graham +Square." + +"Have you?" I cried. Had the ground opened I could not have been more +amazed. What had this little, rather ugly woman, to do with my +dream-house, 17 Graham Square? + +"It is a very beautiful, fine house," said the little woman. "I went +all over it this morning. I heard from your agents, Messrs. Macalister +& Co., that you are anxious to take it." + +I felt that my agents were very rude in thus giving me away, and made +no response beyond a stately bend of my head. I was glad that mother +was occupying herself with some delicate embroidery in the distant +window. She certainly could not hear our conversation. + +Miss Mullins now pulled her chair forward and sat in such a position +that her knees nearly touched mine. + +"You'll forgive a plain question," she said; "I am here on business. +Are you prepared to take the house?" + +"We certainly wish to take it," I said. + +"But are you going to take it, Miss Wickham?" + +I rather resented this speech, and was silent. + +"Now I'll be plain. My name is blunt, and so is my nature. I want the +house." + +I half rose. + +"Sit down, Miss Wickham, and don't be silly." + +This speech was almost intolerable, and I thought the time had come +when I should call to mother to protect me, but Jane Mullins had such +twinkling, good-humoured eyes, that presently my anger dissolved into +a curious desire to laugh. + +"I know, Miss Wickham, you think me mad, and I was always accounted a +little queer, but I'll beat about the bush no longer. You want 17 +Graham Square, and so do I. You have got beauty and good birth and +taste and style, and your name and your appearance will draw +customers; and I have got experience and"--here she made a long, +emphatic pause--"_money_. Now my question is this: Shall we club +together?" + +I never in all my life felt more astonished, I was nearly stunned. + +"Club together?" I said. + +"Yes, shall we? Seven thousand pounds capital has been placed at my +disposal. You, I understand, have got furniture, at least some +furniture"--here she glanced in a rather contemptuous way round our +lovely drawing-room. "You also, of course, have a certain amount of +connection, and I have got a large and valuable connection. Shall we +club together?" + +"I do not think we have any connection at all," I said bluntly; "not +one of our friends will notice us when we go to--to Bloomsbury, and +we have not half enough furniture for a house like 17 Graham Square. +But what do you mean by our clubbing together?" + +"Let me speak, my dear. What I want is this. I want you to put your +furniture, what there is of it, and your connection, what there is of +it, and your good birth and your style, and your charming mother into +the same bag with my experience and my capital--or rather, the capital +that is to be given to me. Will you do it? There's a plain question. +Is it to be yes, or is it to be no? I want 17 Graham Square, and so do +you. Shall we take it together and make a success of it? I like you, +you are honest, and you're nice to look at, and I don't mind at all +your being stiff to me and thinking me queer, for by-and-by we'll be +friends. Is it to be a bargain?" + +Just then mother rose from her seat and came with slow and stately +steps across the room. + +"What is it, Westenra?" she said; "what does this--this lady want?" + +"Oh, I'm not a lady, ma'am," said Jane Mullins, rising and dropping a +sort of involuntary curtsey. "I'm just a plain body, but I know all +about cooking, and all about servants, and all about house linen, and +all about dusting, going right into corners and never slurring them, +and all the rest, and I know what you ought to give a pound for beef +and for mutton, and what you ought to give a dozen for eggs, and for +butter, and how to get the best and freshest provisions at the lowest +possible price. I know a thousand things, my dear madam, that you do +not know, and that your pretty daughter doesn't know, and what I say +is; as we both want 17 Graham Square, shall we put our pride in our +pockets and our finances into one bag, and do the job. My name is Jane +Mullins. I never was a grand body. I'm plain, but I'm determined, and +I am good-humoured, and I am true as steel. I can give you fifty-four +references if you want them, from a number of very good honest +tradesmen who know me, and know that I pay my debts to the uttermost +farthing. Will you join me, or will you not?" + +"Well," said mother, when this curious little person had finished +speaking, "this is quite the most astounding thing I ever heard of in +my life. Westenra dear, thank this person very kindly, tell her that +you know she means well, but that of course we could not think of her +scheme for a single moment." + +Mother turned as she spoke, and walked up the drawing-room again, and +I looked at Jane Mullins, and Jane Mullins looked at me, and her blue +eyes twinkled. She got up at once and held out her hand. + +"Then that's flat," she said; "you'll be sorry you have said it, for +Jane Mullins could have done well by you. Good-bye, miss; good-bye, +ma'am." + +She gave a little nod in the direction of my stately mother, and +tripped out of the room. I was too stunned even to ring the bell for +Paul, and I think Jane Mullins let herself out. + +Well, as soon as she was gone, mother turned on me and gave me the +first downright absolute scolding I had received since I was a tiny +child. She said she had been willing, quite willing, to please me in +every possible way, but when I descended to talk to people like Jane +Mullins, and to consider their proposals, there was an end of +everything, and she could not, for my father's sake, hear of such an +outrageous proposal for a moment. This she said with tears in her +eyes, and I listened quite submissively until at last the precious +darling had worn her anger out, and sat subdued and inclined to cry by +the open window. I took her hand then and petted her. I told her that +really my scolding was quite unmerited, as I had never heard of Jane +Mullins before, and was as much amazed as she was at her visit. + +"All the same," I added, "I have not the slightest doubt that, with +Jane Mullins at the helm, we should do splendidly." + +"My darling, darling West, this is just the straw too much," said +mother, and then I saw that it was the straw too much, and at that +moment who should come to visit us but pretty little Lady Thesiger. We +turned the conversation instinctively. Lady Thesiger said-- + +"You have not yet gone under, either of you, you are only talking +about it. You are quite fit to associate with me for the rest of the +day. I want you to come for a long drive in my carriage, and +afterwards we will go to the theatre together; there is a very good +piece on at the Lyceum. Now, then, be quick, Westenra, get into your +very smartest clothes, and Mrs. Wickham, will you also put on your +bonnet and mantle?" + +There was never any resisting Jasmine, and we spent the rest of the +day with her, and she was absolutely winning, and so pleasant that she +made mother forget Jane Mullins; but then during dinner, in the +queerest, most marvellous way, she drew the whole story of Jane +Mullins from us both, and mother described with great pride her action +in the matter. + +"Yes, that is all very fine," replied Jasmine; "but now I am going to +say a plain truth. I am going to imitate that wonderful little Jane. +My truth is this--I would fifty thousand times rather introduce my +nice American friends to Jane Mullins's boarding-house than I would to +yours, Westenra, for in Jane's they would have their wants attended +to, and be thoroughly comfortable, whereas in yours goodness only +knows if the poor darlings would get a meal fit to eat." + +This was being snubbed with a vengeance, and even mother looked angry, +and I think she thought that Lady Thesiger had gone too far. + +During the play that followed, and the drive home and the subsequent +night, I thought of nothing but Jane Mullins, and began more and more +to repent of my rash refusal of her aid. Surely, if Providence had +meant us to carry out our scheme, Providence had also supplied Jane +Mullins to help us to do it, and if ever woman looked true she did, +and if her references turned out satisfactory why should she not be a +sort of partner-housekeeper in the concern? + +So the next morning early I crept into mother's room, and whispered to +her all about Jane and my thoughts during the night, and begged of her +to reconsider the matter. + +"It is very odd, West," said mother, "but what your friend Jasmine +said has been coming to me in my dreams; and you know, darling, you +know nothing about cooking, and I know still less, and I suppose this +Miss Mullins would understand this sort of thing, so, Westenra, if +your heart is quite, quite set on it, we may as well see her again." + +"She left her address on her visiting-card. I will go to her the +moment I have finished breakfast," was my joyful response. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE BERLIN WOOL ROOM + + +I ordered the carriage and set off, mother having declined to +accompany me. Miss Mullins's address was at Highgate; she lived in a +small, new-looking house, somewhere near the Archway. I daresay Jane +saw me from the window, for I had scarcely run up the little path to +her house, and had scarcely finished sounding the electric bell, +before the door was opened by no less a person than herself. + +"Ah," she said, "I felt somehow that you would call; come in, Miss +Wickham." + +Her manner was extremely cordial, there was not a trace of offence at +the way in which we had both treated her the day before. She ushered +me into a sort of little Berlin wool room, all looking as neat as a +new pin. There was Berlin wool everywhere, on the centre-table, on the +mantelpiece, on the little side-table. There were Berlin wool +antimacassars and a Berlin wool screen, in which impossible birds +disported themselves over impossible water, and there was a large +waxwork arrangement of fruit and flowers in the centre of the +mantelpiece, and there were six chairs, all with their backs +decorously placed against the wall, and not a single easy chair. But +the room was spick and span with cleanliness and brightness and the +due effects of soap and water and furniture-polish. The little room +even smelt clean. + +Miss Mullins motioned me to one of the hard chairs. + +"I must apologise for the absence of the rocking-chair," she said, "it +is being mended, but I dare say being young you won't mind using that +hard chair for a little." + +"Certainly not," I replied. + +"I observe that every one lounges dreadfully just now," she continued, +"but I myself hate easy chairs, and as this is my own house I do not +have them in it. The room is clean, but not according to your taste, +eh?" + +"It is a nice room of its kind," I said, "but----" + +"You need not add any buts, I know quite well what you are thinking +about," said Jane Mullins; then she stood right in front of me, facing +me. + +"Won't you sit down?" I said. + +"No, thank you, I prefer standing. I only sit when I have a good deal +on my mind. What is it you have come to say?" + +I wished she would help me, but she had evidently no intention of +doing so. She stood there with her red face and her twinkling eyes, +and her broad, good-humoured mouth, the very personification of +homely strength, but she was not going to get me out of my difficulty. + +"Well," I said, stammering and colouring, "I have been thinking over +your visit, and--and----" + +"Yes, go on." + +"Do you really mean it, Miss Mullins?" I said then. "Would you really +like to join two such ignorant people as mother and me?" + +"Hark to her," said the good woman. "Look here, Miss Wickham, you have +reached quite the right frame of mind, and you're not a bit ignorant, +my dear, not a bit, only your knowledge and my knowledge are wide +apart. My dear Miss Wickham, knowledge is power, and when we join +forces and put our united knowledge into the same bag, we will have +huge results, huge results, my dear--yes, it is true." + +"Let us talk it out," I said. + +"Do you really mean, Miss Wickham, that you and your mother--your +aristocratic mother--are seriously thinking of entering into +partnership with me?" + +"I don't know about mother, but I know that I am leaning very much +towards the idea," I said; "and I think I ought to apologise, both for +my mother and myself, for the rude way in which we treated you +yesterday." + +"I expected it, love; I was not a bit surprised," said Jane Mullins. +"I thought it best to plump out the whole scheme and allow it to +simmer in your minds. Of course, at first, you were not likely to be +taken with it, but you were equally likely to come round. I stayed in +this morning on purpose; I was almost sure you would visit me." + +"You were right," I said. "I see that you are a very wise woman, and I +am a silly girl." + +"You are a very beautiful girl, Miss Wickham, and educated according +to your station. Your station and mine are far apart, but having got +capital and a certain amount of sense, it would be a very good +partnership, if you really think we could venture upon it." + +"I am willing," I said suddenly. + +"Then, that is right; here's my hand upon it; but don't be more +impulsive to-day, my dear, than you were yesterday. You must do things +properly. Here are different references of mine." She walked across +the room, took up a little packet, and opened it. + +"This is a list of tradespeople," she said; "I should like you to +write to them all; they will explain to a certain extent my financial +position; they will assure you that I, Jane Mullins, have been dealing +with them for the things that I require for the last seven years--a +seven years' reference is long enough, is it not? But if it is not +quite long enough, here is the address of the dear old Rector in +Shropshire who confirmed me, and in whose Sunday-school I was +trained, and who knew my father, one of the best farmers in the +district. + +"So much for my early life, but the most important reference of all is +the reference of the friend, who does not choose his or her name to be +mentioned, and who is helping me with capital; not helping you, Miss +Wickham, mind--not you nor Mrs. Wickham--but me _myself_, with capital +to the tune of seven thousand pounds. I could not do it but for that, +and as the person who is lending me this money to make this great +fortune happens to be a friend of Mr. Hardcastle's, I think he, Mr. +Hardcastle, will let us have the house." + +"Now this is all very startling and amazing," I said. "You ought to +tell us your friend's name and all about it; that is, if we are to go +properly into partnership." + +"It can't be done, my dear. The friend is a very old friend and a very +true one, and Mr. Hardcastle is the one to be satisfied. The friend +knows that for years I have wanted to start a boarding-house, but the +friend always thought there were difficulties in the way. I was too +homely, and people are grand in these days, and want some society airs +and manners, which you, my dear, possess. So if we put our fortunes +into one bag everything will come right, and you must trust me, that's +all." + +I was quite silent, thinking very hard. + +"When I saw 17 Graham Square yesterday," continued Miss Mullins, "I +said to myself, if there is a suitable house for our purpose in the +whole W.C. district it is that house. What a splendid drawing-room +there is, or rather two drawing-rooms; just the very rooms to +entertain people in in the evening. Now if we put all our fortunes +into one bag, you, my dear Miss Wickham, shall have the social part of +the establishment under your wing. I will arrange all about the +servants, and will see that the cooking is right, and will carve the +joints at dinner; and your beautiful, graceful, aristocratic lady +mother must take the head of the table. She won't have a great deal to +do, but her presence will work wonders." + +"And do you think we shall make any money with this thing?" I said. + +"It is my impression that we will; indeed I am almost sure of it, but +the house must be furnished suitably." + +"But what is your taste with regard to furniture, Miss Mullins?" I +asked, and now I looked apprehensively round the little Berlin wool +room. + +"Well, I always did incline to the primitive colours. I will be frank +with you, and say honestly that I never pass by that awful shop, +Liberty's in Regent Street, without shuddering. Their greens and their +greys and their pinks are not my taste, love--no, and never will be; +but I shall leave the furnishing to you, Miss Wickham, for I see by +the tone of that dress you are now wearing that you adhere to +Liberty, and like his style of decoration." + +"Oh, I certainly do," I replied. + +"Very well then, you shall furnish in Liberty style, or in any style +you fancy; it does not matter to me. You know the tastes of your own +set, and I hope we'll have plenty of them at No. 17, my dear. As a +matter of fact, all I care about in a room is that it should be +absolutely clean, free from dust, tidily arranged, and not too much +furniture in it. For the rest--well, I never notice pretty things when +they are about, so you need not bother about that as far as I am +concerned. The house is a very large one, and although you have some +furniture to meet its requirements, and what I have in this little +room will do for my own sitting-room, still I have not the slightest +doubt we shall have to spend about a thousand pounds in putting the +house into apple-pie order; not a penny less will do the job, of that +I am convinced." + +As I had no knowledge whatever on the subject I could neither gainsay +Miss Mullins nor agree with her. + +"The house must be the envy of all the neighbours," she said, and a +twinkle came into her eyes and a look of satisfaction round her mouth. + +"Oh, it shall be. How delightful you are!" I cried. + +"What I propose is this," said Jane Mullins; "we--your mother, you +and I--sign the lease, and we three are responsible. I take one third +of the profits, you a third, and your mother a third." + +"But surely that is not fair, for you are putting capital into it." + +"Not at all, it is my friend's capital, and that is the arrangement my +friend would like. Come, I cannot work on any other terms. I take a +third, you a third, and your mother a third. I, having experience, do +the housekeeping. Having experience, I order the servants. You arrange +the decorations for the table, you have the charge of the flowers and +the drawing-room in the evenings. As funds permit and paying guests +arrive you inaugurate amusements in the drawing-room, you make +everything as sociable and as pleasant as possible. Your mother gives +tone and distinction to the entire establishment." + +"You seem to be leaving very little for mother and me to do," I said. + +"Your mother cannot have much to do, for I do not think she is +strong," said Miss Mullins. "She is older than I am too, and has seen +a great deal of sorrow; but what she does, remember no one else can +do, she gives _the tone_. It's a fact, Miss Wickham, that you may try +all your life, but unless Providence has bestowed tone upon you, you +cannot acquire it. Now I have no tone, and will only obtrude myself +into the social circle to carve the joints at dinner; otherwise I +shall be busy, extremely busy in my own domain." + +"Well, as far as I am concerned, I am abundantly willing to enter into +this partnership," I said. "I like you very much, and I am sure you +are honest and true. I will tell mother what you have said to me, and +we will let you know immediately." + +"All I ask is that you prove me, my dear," said the little woman, and +then she took my hand and gave it a firm grip. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE PAYING GUESTS + + +Everything went smoothly after my interview with Jane Mullins. In an +incredibly short space of time the contract for the house was signed. +It was signed by mother, by me, and by Jane Mullins. Then we had +exciting and extraordinary days hunting for that furniture which Jane +considered suitable, and consulting about the servants, and the +thousand and one small minutiæ of the establishment. But finally Jane +took the reins into her own hands, whisking my mother and me off to +the country, and telling us that we could come and take possession on +the 29th of September. + +"There won't be any visitors in the house then," she said, "but all +the same, the house will be full, from attic to cellar, before the +week is out, and you had best be there beforehand. Until then enjoy +yourselves." + +Well, I did enjoy myself very much. It was quite terrible of me, for +now and then I saw such a look of sorrow on mother's face; but I +really did get a wonderful heartening and cheering up by Jane, and +when the weeks flew by, and the long desired day came at last, I +found myself in excellent spirits, but mother looked very pale and +depressed. + +"You will get accustomed to it," I said, "and I think in time you will +learn to like it. It is a brave thing to do. I have been thinking of +father so much lately, and I am quite certain that he would approve." + +"Do you really believe that, West?" asked my mother; "if I thought so, +nothing would really matter. West, dearest, you are so brave and +masculine in some things, you ought to have been a man." + +"I am very glad I am a woman," was my reply, "for I want to prove that +women can do just as strong things as men, and just as brave things if +occasion requires." + +So we arrived at the boarding-house, and Jane Mullins met us on the +steps, and took us all over it. It was a curious house, and at the +same time a very beautiful one. There was a certain mixture of tastes +which gave some of the rooms an odd effect. Jane's common-sense and +barbarous ideas with regard to colour, rather clashed with our +æsthetic instincts and our more luxurious ideas. But the drawing-room +at least was almost perfect. It was a drawing-room after mother's own +heart. In reality it was a very much larger and handsomer room than +the one we had left in Sumner Place, but it had a home-like look, and +the colouring was in one harmonious scheme, which took away from any +undue effect of size, and at the same time gave a delicious sense of +space. The old pictures, too, stood on the walls, and the old lovely +curtains adorned the windows; and the little easy chairs that mother +loved, stood about here and there, and all the nicknacks and articles +of vertu were to be found in their accustomed places; and there were +flowers and large palms, and we both looked around us with a queer +sense of wonder. + +"Why, mother," I said, "this is like coming home." + +"So it is," said mother, "it is extraordinary." + +"But Miss Mullins," I continued, "you told me you had no taste. How is +it possible that you were able to decorate a room like this, and, you +dear old thing, the carpet on the floor has quite a Liberty tone, and +what a lovely carpet, too!" + +Jane absolutely blushed. When she blushed it was always the tip of her +nose that blushed--it blushed a fiery red now. She looked down, and +then she looked up, and said after a pause-- + +"I guessed that, just what I would not like you would adore, so I did +the furnishing of this room on that principle. I am glad you are +pleased. I don't hold myself with cut flowers, nor nicknacks, nor +rubbish of that sort, but you do; and when people hold with them, and +believe in them, the more they have of them round, the better pleased +they are. Oh, and there's a big box of Fuller's sweetmeats on that +little table. I thought you would eat those if you had no appetite for +anything else." + +"But I have an excellent appetite," I answered; "all the same, I am +delighted to see my favourite sweets. Come, mother, we will have a +feast, both of us; you shall enjoy your favourite bon-bon this +minute." + +Mother got quite merry over the box, and Jane disappeared, and in five +minutes or so, a stylishly dressed parlour-maid came in with a +_récherché_ tea, which we both enjoyed. + +Mother's bedroom was on the first floor, a small room, but a very +dainty one; and this had been papered with a lovely shade of very pale +gold, and the hangings and curtains were of the same colour. There was +a little balcony outside the window where she could sit, and where she +could keep her favourite plants, and there in its cage was her old +Bully, who could pipe "Robin Adair," "Home, sweet Home," and "Charlie +is my Darling." The moment he saw mother he perked himself up, and +bent his little head to one side, and began piping "Charlie is my +Darling" in as lively a tone as ever bullfinch possessed. + +I had insisted beforehand on having my room at the top of the house +not far from Jane's, for of course the best bedrooms were reserved for +the boarders, the boarders who had not yet come. + +"But I have sheafs of letters, with inquiries about the house," said +Jane, "and after dinner to-night, my dear Miss Wickham, you and I must +go into these matters." + +"And mother, too," I said. + +"Just as she pleases," replied Jane, "but would not the dear lady like +her little reading-lamp and her new novel? I have a subscription at +Mudie's, and some new books have arrived. Would it not be best for +her?" + +"No," I said with firmness, "mother must have a voice in everything; +she must not drop the reins, it would not be good for her at all." + +Accordingly after dinner we all sat in the drawing-room, and Jane +produced the letters. Mother and I were dressed as we were accustomed +to dress for the evening. Mother wore black velvet, slightly, very +slightly, open at the throat, and the lace ruffles round her throat +and wrists were of Brussels, and she had a figment of Brussels lace +arranged with velvet and a small feather on her head. She looked +charming, and very much as she might have looked if she had been going +to the Duchess's for an evening reception, or to Lady Thesiger's for +dinner. + +As to me, I wore one of the frocks I had worn last season, when I had +not stepped down from society, but was in the thick of it, midst of +all the gaiety and fun. + +Jane Mullins, however, scorned to dress for the evening. Jane wore in +the morning a kind of black bombazine. I had never seen that material +worn by anybody but Jane, but she adhered to it. It shone and it +rustled, and was aggravating to the last degree. This was Jane's +morning dress, made very plainly, and fitting close to her sturdy +little figure, and her evening dress was that harsh silk which I have +already mentioned. This was also worn tight and plain, and round her +neck she had a white linen collar, and round her wrists immaculate +white cuffs, and no cap or ornament of any kind over her thin light +hair. Jane was certainly not beautiful to look at, but by this time +mother and I had discovered the homely steadfastness of her abilities, +and the immense good nature which seemed to radiate out of her kind +eyes, and we had forgotten whether she was, strictly speaking, +good-looking or not. + +Well, we three sat together on this first evening, and Jane produced +her letters. + +"Here is one from a lady in the country," she began; "she wishes to +come to London for the winter, and she wishes to bring a daughter with +her; the daughter requires lessons in something or other, some useless +accomplishment, no doubt--anyhow that is their own affair. They wish +to come to London, and they want to know what we will take them for as +permanent boarders. The lady's name is Mrs. Armstrong. Her letter of +inquiry arrived yesterday, and ought to be answered at once. She adds +in a postscript--'I hope you will do me cheap.' I don't like that +postscript; it has a low, mean sort of sound about it, and I doubt if +we will put up with her long, but, as she is the very first to apply +for apartments, we cannot tell her that the house is full up. Now I +propose that we give Mrs. Armstrong and her daughter the large front +attic next to my room. If the young lady happens to be musical, and +wishes to rattle away on a piano, she can have one there, and play to +her heart's content without anybody being disturbed. She cannot play +anywhere else that I can see, for your lady mother, my dear Miss +Wickham, cannot be worried and fretted with piano tunes jingling in +her ears." + +"West's mother must learn to put up with disagreeables," was my +mother's very soft reply. + +But I did not want her to have any disagreeables, so I said-- + +"Perhaps we had better not have Mrs. Armstrong at all." + +"Oh, my dear," was Jane's reply, "why should my spite at that +postscript turn the poor woman from a comfortable home? She shall +come. We will charge three guineas a week for the two." + +"But that is awfully little," I replied. + +"It is quite as much as they will pay for the attic, and they will be +awfully worrying, both of them. I feel it in my bones beforehand. +They'll be much more particular than the people who pay five guineas a +head for rooms on the first floor. Mark my words, Miss Wickham, it is +the attic boarders who will give the trouble, but we cannot help +that, for they are sure and certain, and are the backbone of the +establishment. I'll write to Mrs. Armstrong, and say that if they can +give us suitable references they can come for a week, in order that +both parties may see if they are pleased with the other." + +"Shall I write, or will you?" I asked. + +"Well, my dear, after a bit I shall be very pleased if you will take +the correspondence, which is sure to be a large item, but just at +first I believe that I can put things on a more business-like +footing." + +"Thank you very much," I said in a relieved tone. + +"That letter goes to-night," said Jane. She took a Swan fountain pen +from its place by her waist, scribbled a word or two on the envelope +of Mrs. Armstrong's letter, and laid it aside. + +"Now I have inquiries from a most genteel party, a Captain and Mrs. +Furlong: he is a retired army man, and they are willing to pay five +guineas a week between them for a comfortable bedroom." + +"But surely that is very little," I said again. + +"It is a very fair sum out of their pockets, Miss Wickham, and I think +we can afford to give them a nice room looking south on the third +floor, not on the second floor, and, of course, not on the first; but +on the third floor we can give them that large room which is decorated +with the sickly green. It will turn them bilious, poor things, if +they are of my way of thinking." + +Accordingly Captain and Mrs. Furlong were also written to that +evening, to the effect that they might enter the sacred precincts of +17 Graham Square as soon as they pleased. + +Two or three other people had also made inquiries, and having talked +their letters over and arranged what replies were to be sent, Miss +Mullins, after a certain hesitation which caused me some small +astonishment, took up her final letter. + +"A gentleman has written who wishes to come," she said, "and I think +he would be a desirable inmate." + +"A gentleman!" cried mother, "a gentleman alone?" + +"Yes, madam, an unmarried gentleman." + +I looked at mother. Mother's face turned a little pale. We had neither +of us said anything of the possibility of there being unmarried +gentlemen in the house, and I think mother had a sort of dim +understanding that the entire establishment was to be filled with +women and married couples. Now she glanced at Jane, and said in a +hesitating voice-- + +"I always felt that something unpleasant would come of this." + +Jane stared back at her. + +"What do you mean, Mrs. Wickham? The gentleman to whom I allude is a +real gentleman, and it would be extremely difficult for me to refuse +him, because he happens to be a friend of the friend who lent me the +seven thousand pounds capital." + +"There is a secret about that," I exclaimed, "and I think you ought to +tell us." + +Jane looked at me out of her honest twinkling eyes, and her resolute +mouth shut into a perfectly straight line; then nodding her head she +said-- + +"We cannot refuse this gentleman; his name is Randolph. He signs +himself James Randolph, and specially mentions the friend who lent the +money, so I do not see, as the house is almost empty at present, how +we can keep him out. I should say he must be a nice man from the way +he writes. You have no objection to his coming, have you, Mrs. +Wickham?" + +Still mother made no answer, but I saw a hot spot coming into both her +cheeks. + +"Didn't I tell you, Westenra," she said after a pause, "that matters +might be made very disagreeable and complicated? To be frank with you, +Miss Mullins," she continued, "I would much rather have only married +couples and ladies in the house." + +"Then, my dear madam, we had better close within the week," said Jane +Mullins in a voice of some indignation. "You ought to have arranged +for this at the time, and if you had mentioned your views I would +certainly not have joined partnership with you. What we want are +ladies _and_ gentlemen, and so many of them that the commonplace and +the vulgar will not be able to come, because there will not be room to +receive them. As to this gentleman, he has something to do in the +city, and likes to live in Bloomsbury, as he considers it the most +healthy part of London." Here Miss Mullins began to talk very +vigorously, and the tip of her nose became suspiciously red once more. + +"I propose," she continued, "as he is quite indifferent to what he +pays, charging Mr. Randolph five guineas a week, and giving him the +small bedroom on the drawing-room floor. It is a little room, but +nicely furnished. He will be a great acquisition." + +"May I see his letter?" asked mother. + +"I am sorry, Madam, but I would rather no one saw it. It mentions my +friend, and of course my friend would not like his name to get out, so +I must keep the letter private, but if Mr. Randolph makes himself in +any way disagreeable to you ladies I am sure he will go immediately, +but my impression is that you will find him a great acquisition. I +will write to him to-night, and say that he can have the accommodation +he requires, and ask him to name the day when he will arrive." + +After this we had a great deal of talk on other matters, and finally +Jane retired to her premises, and mother and I sat together in the +beautiful drawing-room. + +"Well, Westenra," said mother, "it is done. What do you think of it?" + +"It has only begun, mother dear. Up to the present I am charmed. What +a treasure we have secured in Jane." + +"It is all very queer," said mother. "Why would not she show us Mr., +Mr.----what was his name, Westenra?" + +"Randolph," I interrupted. + +"Why would she not show us Mr. Randolph's letter? I must say frankly +that I do not like it. The fact is, West, we are not in the position +we were in at Sumner Place, and we must be exceedingly circumspect. +You, for instance, must be distant and cold to all the men who come +here. You must be careful not to allow any one to take liberties with +you. Ah, my child, did we do wrong to come? Did we do wrong? It is +terrible for me to feel that you are in such an equivocal position." + +"Oh but, mother, I am not. I assure you I can look after myself; and +then I have you with me, and Jane Mullins is such a sturdy little +body. I am sure she will guide our ship, our new, delightful ship, +with a flowing sail into a prosperous harbour; and I cannot see, +mother, why we should not receive a man who is a real gentleman. It is +the men who are not gentlemen who will be difficult to deal with. Mr. +Randolph will probably be a great help to us, and for my part I am +glad he is coming." + +"Things are exactly as I feared," said mother, and I saw her anxious +eyes look across the room as though she were gazing at a vision which +gave her the greatest disquietude. + +Early the next day I hung father's picture in such a position in the +drawing-room that mother could have the eyes following her wherever +she turned. She often said that she was never comfortable, nor quite +at home, unless under the gaze of those eyes, and we made up our minds +not to mind the fact of our new boarders asking questions about the +picture, for we were intensely proud of my father, and felt that we +could say in a few dignified words all that was necessary, and that my +dear father would in a measure protect us in our new career. + +Early the next week the first boarders arrived. Three or four families +came the same day. Jane said that that was best. Jane was the one who +received them. She went into the hall and welcomed them in her brusque +tone and took them immediately to their rooms, in each of which +printed rules of the establishment were pinned up, and mother and I +did not appear until just before dinner, when the different boarders +had assembled in the drawing-room. + +"Dress for dinner and make yourself look as nice as you possibly can," +was Jane's parting shot to me, and I took her advice in my own way. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE FLOUR IN THE CAKE + + +"Put on the least becoming dress you have got, Westenra," said mother. + +"And what is that?" I asked, pausing with my hand on the handle of +mother's door. + +"Well," said my mother, considering, "it is a little difficult, for +all your dresses are perfectly sweet; but I think if there is one that +suits you rather less than another it is that cloudy blue with the +silver gauze over it." + +"O mother! that is a great deal too dressy," I exclaimed. + +"Well, there is the pale primrose." + +"Too dressy again." + +"One of your many white dresses--but then you look exquisite in white, +darling." + +"You had better leave it to me, mother," I said. "I promise to make +myself look as plain and uninteresting and unpretentious as possible." +And then I shut the door quickly and left her. + +The stepping down had been exciting, but the first firm footfall on +our new _terra firma_ was more exciting still. The boarders and I were +to meet at dinner. For the first time I was to be known to the world +as Miss Wickham, who kept a boarding-house in company with her mother +and a certain Miss Jane Mullins. It was not a high position according +to that set in which I was born. But never mind. Just because my +father had won the Victoria Cross would his daughter think nothing +degrading which meant an honourable and honest livelihood. So I +hastily donned a black net dress which was not too fashionable, and +without any ornament whatsoever, not even a string of pearls round my +neck, ran downstairs. But the dress was low and the sleeves were +short, and I could not keep the crimson of excitement out of my +cheeks, nor the fire of excitement out of my eyes. I ran into the +drawing-room, exclaiming "Mother! mother!" and forgot for the moment +that the drawing-room no longer belonged to mother and me, but was the +property of our paying guests, and our house was no longer ours. + +Mrs. and Miss Armstrong were standing near the hearth. Mrs. Armstrong +was a thin, meagre little woman, of about forty years of age. Country +was written all over her--provincial country. She had faded hair and a +faded complexion, and at times, and when not greatly excited, a faded +manner. When she was thinking of herself she was painfully affected; +when she was not thinking of herself she was hopelessly vulgar. Her +daughter was a downright buxom young person, who quite held her own. +Neither Mrs. nor Miss Armstrong were in evening dress, and they stared +with amazement and indignation at me. Miss Armstrong's cheeks became +flushed with an ugly red, but I tripped up to them just as if there +were no such thing as dress in the world, and held out my hand. + +"How do you do?" I said. "I am glad to see you. Won't you both sit +down? I hope you have found everything comfortable in your room." + +Then, as Mrs. Armstrong still stared at me, her eyes growing big with +amazement, I said in a low voice-- + +"My name is Wickham. I am one of the owners of this house." + +"Oh, Miss Wickham," said Mrs. Armstrong, and there was a perceptible +tone of relief in her voice. It did not matter how stylish Miss +Wickham looked, she was still only Miss Wickham, a person of no +importance whatsoever. + +"Come here, Marion," said Mrs. Armstrong, relapsing at once into her +commonest manner. "You must not sit too near the fire, for you will +get your nose red, and that is not becoming." + +Marion, however, drew nearer to the fire, and did not take the least +notice of her mother's remark. + +"So you keep this boarding-house," said Mrs. Armstrong, turning to me +again. "Well, I am surprised. Do you mind my making a blunt remark?" + +I did not answer, but I looked quietly back at her. I think something +in my steady gaze disquieted her, for she uttered a nervous laugh, and +then said abruptly-- + +"You don't look the thing, you know. You're one of the most stylish +young ladies I have ever seen. Isn't she, Marion?" + +"She is indeed," answered Miss Marion. "I thought she was a duchess at +least when she came into the room." + +"Come over here, Marion, and don't stare into the flames," was Mrs. +Armstrong's next remark. "I didn't know," she added, "we were coming +to a place of this kind. It is very gratifying to me. I suppose the +bulk of the guests here will be quite up to your standard, Miss +Wickham?" + +"I hope so," I replied. I was spared any more of my new boarders' +intolerable remarks, for at that moment Mrs. and Captain Furlong +appeared. He was a gentleman, and she was a lady. She was an everyday +sort of little body to look at, but had the kindest heart in the +world. She was neither young nor old, neither handsome nor the +reverse. She was just like thousands of other women, but there was a +rest and peace about her very refreshing. She was dressed suitably, +and her husband wore semi-evening dress. + +I went up to them, talked a little, and showed them some of the most +comfortable chairs in the room. We chatted on everyday matters, and +then mother appeared. Dear, dear mother! Had I done right to put her +in this position? She looked nervous, and yet she looked stately as I +had never seen her look before. I introduced her not only to the +Furlongs, who knew instinctively how to treat her, but also to Mrs. +and Miss Armstrong, and then to a Mr. and Mrs. Cousins who appeared, +and the three Miss Frosts, and some other people, who were all taking +possession of us and our house. Oh, it was confusing on that first +night. I could scarcely bear it myself. I had never guessed that the +very boarders would look down on us, that just because we were ladies +they would consider our position an equivocal one, and treat us +accordingly. I hoped that by-and-by it might be all right, but now I +knew that mother and I were passing through the most trying period of +this undertaking. Some of our guests were people of refinement, who +would know how to act and what to do under any circumstances, and some +again were of the Armstrong type, who would be pushing and +disagreeable wherever they went. Marion Armstrong, in particular, +intended to make her presence felt. She had a short conversation with +her mother, and then pushed her way across the room to where my own +mother sat, and stood before her and began to talk in a loud, brusque, +penetrating voice. + +"I have not been introduced to you, Madam; my name is Marion +Armstrong. I have come up to London to study Art. I was rather taken +aback when I saw you. You and Miss Wickham are the people who are our +landladies, so to speak, and you are so different from most landladies +that mother and I feel a little confused about it. Oh, thank you; you +wish to know if we are comfortable. We are fairly so, all things +considered; we don't _mind_ our attic room, but it's likely we'll have +to say a few words to your housekeeper--Miss Mullins, I think you call +her--in the morning. You doubtless, Madam, do not care to interfere +with the more sordid part of your duties." + +At that moment, and before my really angry mother could answer, the +door was opened, and there entered Jane Mullins in her usual sensible, +downright silken gown, and a tall man. I glanced at him for a puzzled +moment, feeling sure that I had seen him before, and yet not being +quite certain. He had good features, was above the medium height, had +a quiet manner and a sort of distant bearing which would make it +impossible for any one to take liberties with him. + +Miss Mullins brought him straight across the room to mother and +introduced him. I caught the name, Randolph. Mother bowed, and so did +he, and then he stood close to her, talking very quietly, but so +effectively, that Miss Armstrong, after staring for a moment, had to +vanish nonplussed into a distant corner of the drawing-room. I saw by +the way that young lady's eyes blazed that she was now intensely +excited. Mother and I had startled and confused her a good deal, and +Mr. Randolph finished the dazzling impression her new home was giving +her. Certainly she had not expected to see a person of his type here. +She admired him, I saw at a glance, immensely, and now stood near her +own mother, shaking her head now and then in an ominous manner, and +whispering audibly. + +Suddenly Jane, who was here, there, and everywhere, whisked sharply +round. + +"Don't you know Mr. Randolph, Miss Wickham?" she said. + +I shook my head. She took my hand and brought me up to mother's side. + +"Mr. Randolph," she said, "this is our youngest hostess, Miss Westenra +Wickham." + +Mr. Randolph bowed, said something in a cold, courteous tone, scarcely +glanced at me, and then resumed his conversation with mother. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE ARTIST'S EYE + + +During dinner I found myself seated next Miss Armstrong. Miss +Armstrong was on one side of me, and her mother was at the other. I +don't really know how I got placed between two such uncongenial +people, but perhaps it was good for me, showing me the worst as well +as the best of our position at once. I was having a cold douche with a +vengeance. + +As we were taking our soup (I may as well say that the ménu was +excellent, quite as good as many a grand West End dinner which I had +attended in my palmy days), Miss Armstrong bent towards me, spilling a +little of her soup as she did so, and said, in a somewhat audible +whisper-- + +"I wish you would give me a hint about him." + +"About whom?" I asked in return. + +"Mr. Randolph; he is one of the most stylish people I have ever met. +What are his tastes? Don't you know anything at all about him? Is he +married, for instance?" + +"I never saw Mr. Randolph before, and I know nothing about him," I +answered in a low, steady voice, which was in marked contrast to Miss +Armstrong's buzzing, noisy whisper. + +"Oh my!" said that young lady, returning again to the contemplation of +her soup. Her plate was taken away, and in the interval she once more +led the attack. + +"He _is_ distingué," she said, "quite one of the upper ten. I wish you +_would_ tell me where you met him before. You must have met him +before, you know; he would not come to a house like this if he was not +interested in you and your mother. He is a very good-looking man; I +admire him myself immensely." + +"I don't care to make personal remarks at dinner," I said, looking +steadily at the young lady. + +"Oh my!" she answered again to this; but as some delicious turbot was +now facing her, she began to eat it, and tried to cover her +mortification. + +Presently my neighbour to my right began to speak, and Mrs. +Armstrong's manners were only a shade more intolerable than her +daughter's. + +"Marion has come up to London to study h'Art," she said. She uttered +the last word in a most emphatic tone. "Marion has a great taste for +h'Art, and she wants to attend one of the schools and become an +h'artist. Do you think you could give us any advice on the subject, +Miss Wickham?" + +I answered gently that I had never studied Art myself, having no +leaning in that direction. + +"Oh dear: now I should have said you had the h'artist's h'eye," said +Mrs. Armstrong, glancing at my dress and at the way my hair was +arranged as she spoke. "You are very stylish, you know; you are a +good-looking girl, too, very good-looking. You don't mind me giving +you a plain compliment, do you, my dear?" + +I made no reply, but my cheeks had never felt more hot, nor I myself +more uncomfortable. + +Mrs. Armstrong looked me all over again, then she nodded across my +back at Miss Armstrong, and said, still in her buzzing half-whisper, +for the benefit of her daughter-- + +"Miss Wickham has got the h'artist's h'eye, and she'll help us fine, +after she's got over her first amazement. She's new to this business +any one can see; but, Marion, by-and-by you might ask her if she would +lend you that bodice to take the pattern. I like the way it is cut so +much. You have got a good plump neck, and would look well in one made +like it." + +Marion's answer to this was, "O mother, do hush;" and thus the +miserable meal proceeded. + +I was wondering how my own mother was getting on, and at last I +ventured to glance in her direction. She was seated at the head of the +table, really doing nothing in the way of carving, for the dishes, +except the joints, were all handed round, and the joints Jane Mullins +managed, standing up to them and carving away with a rapidity and +_savoir faire_ which could not but arouse my admiration. The upper +part of the table seemed to be in a very peaceful condition, and I +presently perceived that Mr. Randolph led the conversation. He was +having an argument on a subject of public interest with Captain +Furlong, and Captain Furlong was replying, and Mr. Randolph was +distinctly but in very firm language showing the worthy captain that +he was in the wrong, and Mrs. Furlong was laughing, and mother was +listening with a pleased flush on her cheeks. After all the dear +mother was happy, she was not in the thick of the storm, she was not +assailed by two of the most terrible women it had ever been my lot to +encounter. + +The meal came to an end, and at last we left the room. + +"Stay one minute behind, dear," said Jane Mullins to me. + +I did so. She took me into her tiny little parlour on the ground +floor. + +"Now then, Miss Wickham, what's the matter? You just look as if you +were ready to burst into tears. What's up? Don't you think our first +dinner was very successful--a good long table all surrounded with +people pleased with their dinner, and in high good humour, and you +were the cause of the success, let me tell you, dear. They will talk +of you right and left. This boarding-house will never be empty from +this night out, mark my words; and I never was wrong yet in a matter +of plain common-sense." + +"But oh, dear!" I cried, and I sank into a chair, and I am sure the +tears filled my eyes; "the company are so mixed, Miss Mullins, so +terribly mixed." + +"It takes a lot of mixing to make a good cake," was Jane's somewhat +ambiguous answer. + +"Now, what do you mean?" + +"Well, any one can see with half an eye that you object to Mrs. and +Miss Armstrong, and I will own they are not the sort of folks a young +lady like yourself is accustomed to associate with; but all the same, +if we stay here and turn this house into a good commercial success, we +must put up with those sort of people, they are, so to speak, the +support of an establishment of this sort. I call them the flour of the +cake. Now, flour is not interesting stuff, at least uncombined with +other things; but you cannot make a cake without it. People of that +sort will go to the attics, and if we don't let the attics, my dear +Miss Wickham, the thing won't pay. Every attic in the place must be +let, and to people who will pay their weekly accounts regularly, and +not run up bills. It's not folks like your grand Captain Furlong, nor +even like Mr. Randolph, who make these sort of places 'hum,' so to +speak. This establishment shall _hum_, my dear, and hum right merrily, +and be one of the most popular boarding-houses in London. But you +leave people like the Armstrongs to me. To-morrow you shall sit right +away from them." + +"No, I will not," I said stoutly, "why should you have all the burden, +and mother and I all the pleasure? You are brave, Miss Mullins." + +"If you love me, dear, call me Jane, I can't bear the name of Mullins. +From the time I could speak I hated it, and three times in my youth I +hoped to change it, and three times was I disappointed. The first man +jilted me, dear, and the second died, and the third went into an +asylum. I'm Mullins now, and Mullins I'll be to the end. I never had +much looks to boast of, and what I had have gone, so don't fret me +with the knowledge that I am an old maid, but call me Jane." + +"Jane you shall be," I said. She really was a darling, and I loved +her. + +I found after my interview with Jane that the time in the drawing-room +passed off extremely well, and this I quickly discovered was owing to +Mr. Randolph, who, without making the smallest effort to conciliate +the Armstrongs, or the Cousinses, or any of the other _attic strata_, +as Jane called them, kept them all more or less in order. He told a +few good stories for the benefit of the company, and then he sat down +to the piano and sang one or two songs. He had a nice voice, not +brilliant, but sweet and a real tenor, and he pronounced his words +distinctly, and every one could listen, and every one did listen with +pleasure. As to Mrs. and Miss Armstrong they held their lips apart in +their amazement and delight. Altogether, I felt that Mr. Randolph had +made the evening a success, and that without him, notwithstanding +Jane's cheery words, the thing would have been an absolute failure. + +Just towards the close of the evening he came up to my side. + +"I must congratulate you," he said. + +"On what?" I answered somewhat bitterly. + +"On your delightful home, on your bravery." He gave me a quick glance, +which I could not understand, which I did not understand until many +months afterwards. I was not sure at that moment whether he was +laughing at me or whether he was in earnest. + +"I have something to thank you for," I said after a moment, "it was +good of you to entertain our guests, but you must not feel that you +are obliged to do so." + +He looked at me then again with a grave and not easily comprehended +glance. + +"I assure you," he said slowly, "I never do anything I don't like. +Pray don't thank me for exactly following my own inclinations. I was +in the humour to sing, I sing most nights wherever I am. If you object +to my singing pray say so, but do not condemn me to silence in the +future, particularly as you have a very nice piano." + +"You look dreadfully out of place in this house," was my next remark; +and then I said boldly, "I cannot imagine why you came." + +"I wonder if that is a compliment, or if it is not," said Mr. +Randolph. "I do not believe I look more out of place here than you do, +but it seems to me that neither of us are out of place, and that the +house suits us very well. I like it; I expect I shall be extremely +comfortable. Jane Mullins is an old friend of mine. I always told her, +that whenever she set up a boarding-house I would live with her. For +instance, did you ever eat a better dinner than you had to-night?" + +"I don't know," I answered, "I don't care much about dinners, but it +seemed good, at least it satisfied every one." + +"Now I am a hopeless epicure," he said slowly. "I would not go +anywhere if I was not sure that the food would be of the very best. +No, Miss Wickham, I am afraid, whether you like it or not, you cannot +get rid of me at present; but I must not stand talking any longer. I +promised to lend your mother a book, it is one of Whittier's, I will +fetch it." + +He left the room, came back with the book in question, and sat down by +mother's side. He was decidedly good-looking, and most people would +have thought him charming, but his manner to me puzzled me a good +deal, and I was by no means sure that I liked him. He had grey eyes, +quite ordinary in shape and colour, but they had a wonderfully +quizzical glance, and I felt a sort of fear, that when he seemed to +sympathise he was laughing at me; I also felt certain that I had seen +him before. Who was he? How was it possible that a man of his standing +should have anything to do with Jane Mullins, and yet they were +excellent friends. The little woman went up to him constantly in the +course of the evening, and asked his advice on all sorts of matters. +What did it mean? I could not understand it! + +We took a few days settling down, and during that time the house +became full. It was quite true that Mrs. Armstrong talked of us to her +friends. The next day, indeed, she took a complete survey of the house +accompanied by Jane; making frank comments on all she saw, complaining +of the high prices, but never for a moment vouchsafing to give up her +large front attic, which was indeed a bedroom quite comfortable enough +for any lady. She must have written to her friends in the country, for +other girls somewhat in appearance like Marion Armstrong joined our +family circle, sat in the drawing-room in the evening, talked _at_ Mr. +Randolph, and looked at him with eager, covetous eyes. + +Mr. Randolph was perfectly polite to these young ladies, without ever +for a single moment stepping down from his own pedestal. Marion +Armstrong, poke as she would, could not discover what his special +tastes were. When she questioned him, he declared that he liked +everything. Music?--certainly, he adored music. Art?--yes, he did +sketch a little. The drama?--he went to every piece worth seeing, and +generally on first nights. The opera?--he owned that a friend of his +had a box for the season, and that he sometimes gave him a seat in it. + +Miss Armstrong grew more and more excited. She perfectly worried me +with questions about this man. Where did he come from? Who was he? +What was his profession? Did I think he was married! Had he a secret +care? Was he laughing at us? + +Ah, when she asked me the last question, I found myself turning red. + +"You know something about him, and you don't choose to tell it," said +Marion Armstrong then, and she turned to Mrs. Cousins' daughter, who +had come up to town with a view of studying music, and they put their +heads together, and looked unutterable things. + +Before we had been a fortnight in the place, all the other girls vied +with me as to their dinner dress. They wore low dresses, with short +sleeves, and gay colours, and their hair was fantastically curled, and +they all glanced in the direction where Mr. Randolph sat. + +What hopes they entertained with regard to him I could never divine, +but he seemed to be having the effect which Jane desired, and the +attics were filling delightfully. + +Jane whispered to me at the end of the second week, that she feared +she had made a great mistake. + +"Had I known that Mr. Randolph would have the effect he seems to be +having," she said, "I might have doubled our prices from the very +beginning, but it is quite too late now." + +"But why should it be necessary for us to make so much money?" I said. + +Jane looked at me with a queer expression. + +"So _much_!" she said. "Oh, we shall do, I am certain we shall do; but +I am particularly anxious not to touch that seven thousand pounds +capital; at least not much of it. I want the house to pay, and +although it is a delightful house, and there are many guests coming +and going, and it promises soon to be quite full, yet it must remain +full all through the year, except just, of course, in the dull season, +if it is to pay well. We might have charged more from the beginning; I +see it now, but it is too late." + +She paused, gazed straight before her, and then continued. + +"We must get more people of the Captain Furlong type," she said. "I +shall advertise in the _Morning Post_, and the _Standard_; I will also +advertise in the _Guardian_. Advertisements in that paper are always +regarded as eminently respectable. We ought to have some clergymen in +the house, and some nice unmarried ladies, who will take rooms and +settle down, and give a sort of religious respectable tone. We cannot +have too many Miss Armstrongs about; there were six to dinner last +night, and they rather overweighted the scale. Our cake will be heavy +if we put so much flour into it." + +I laughed, and counselled Jane to advertise as soon as possible, and +then ran away to my own room. I felt if this sort of thing went on +much longer, if the girls of the Armstrong type came in greater and +greater numbers, and if they insisted on wearing all the colours of +the rainbow at dinner, and very low dresses and very short sleeves, I +must take to putting on a high dress without any ornaments whatsoever, +and must request mother to do likewise. + +Miss Armstrong was already attending an Art school, where, I cannot +remember, I know it was not the Slade; and on bringing back some of +her drawings, she first of all exhibited them to her friends, and then +left them lying on the mantelpiece in the drawing-room, evidently in +the hopes of catching Mr. Randolph's eye. She did this every evening +for a week without any result, but at the end of that time he caught +sight of a frightfully out-of-drawing charcoal study. It was the sort +of thing which made you feel rubbed the wrong way the moment you +glanced at it. It evidently rubbed him the wrong way, but he stopped +before it as if fascinated, raised his eyebrows slightly, and looked +full into Miss Armstrong's blushing face. + +"You are the artist?" he said. + +"I am," she replied; "it is a little study." Her voice shook with +emotion. + +"I thought so," he said again; "may I congratulate you?" He took up +the drawing, looked at it with that half-quizzical, half-earnest +glance, which puzzled not only Miss Armstrong and her friends but also +myself, and then put it quietly back on the mantelpiece. + +"If you leave it there, it will get dusty and be spoiled," he said. +"Is it for sale?" he continued, as if it were an after-thought. + +"Oh no, sir," cried Miss Armstrong, half abashed and delighted. "It is +not worth any money--at least I fear it is not." + +"But I am so glad you like it, Mr. Randolph," said Mrs. Armstrong, now +pushing vigorously to the front; "I always did say that Marion had the +h'artist's soul. It shines out of her eyes, at least I am proud to +think so; and Marion, my dear, if the good gentleman would _like_ the +little sketch, I am sure you would be pleased to give it to him." + +"But I could not think of depriving Miss Armstrong of her drawing," +said Mr. Randolph, immediately putting on his coldest manner. He +crossed the room and seated himself near mother. + +"There now, ma, you have offended him," said Marion, nearly crying +with vexation. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +HER GRACE OF WILMOT + + +On a certain morning, between twelve and one o'clock, the inhabitants +of Graham Square must have felt some slight astonishment as a carriage +and pair of horses dashed up to No. 17. On the panels of the carriage +were seen the coronet, with the eight strawberries, which denotes the +ducal rank. The coachman and footman were also in the well-known +livery of the Duke of Wilmot. One of the servants got down, rang the +bell, and a moment later the Duchess swept gracefully into the +drawing-room, where mother and I happened to be alone. She came up to +us with both hands outstretched. + +"My dears," she said, glancing round, "are they all out?" + +"I am so glad to see you, Victoria," replied mother; "but whom do you +mean? Sit down, won't you?" + +The Duchess sank into the nearest chair. She really looked quite +nervous. + +"Are the boarders out?" she said again; "I could not encounter them. I +considered the whole question, and thought that at this hour they +would, in all probability, be shopping or diverting themselves in +some way. Ah, Westenra, let me look at you." + +"But do you really want to look at me, Duchess?" I asked somewhat +audaciously. + +"I see you have lost none of your spirit," said the Duchess, and she +patted me playfully with a large fan which she wore at her side. +"There, sit down in that little chair opposite, and tell me all about +everything. How is this--this curious concern going?" + +"You can see for yourself," I answered; "this room is not exactly an +attic, is it?" + +"No, it is a very nice reception-room," said the Duchess, glancing +approvingly around her. "It has, my dear Mary--forgive me for the +remark--a little of the Mayfair look; a large room, too, nearly as +large as our rooms in Grosvenor Place." + +"Not quite as large," I replied, "and it is not like your rooms, +Duchess, but it does very well for us, and it is certainly better and +more stimulating than a cottage in the country." + +"Ah, Westenra, you are as terribly independent as ever," said the +Duchess. "What the girls of the present day are coming to!" She sighed +as she spoke. + +"But you are a very pretty girl all the same," she continued, giving +me an approving nod. "Yes, yes, and this phase will pass, of course it +will pass." + +"Why have you come to see us to-day, Victoria?" asked my mother. + +"My dear friend," replied the Duchess, dropping her voice, "I have +come to-day because I am devoured with curiosity. I mean to drop in +occasionally. Just at present, and while the whole incident is fresh +in the minds of our friends, you would scarcely like me to ask you to +my receptions, but by-and-by I doubt not it can be managed. The fact +is, I admire you both, and very often think of you. The Duke also is +greatly tickled at the whole concern; I never saw him laugh so +heartily about anything. He says that, as to Westenra, she is +downright refreshing; he never heard of a girl of her stamp doing this +sort of thing before. He thinks that she will make a sort of +meeting-place, a sort of bond between the West and the--the--no, not +the East, but this sort of neutral ground where the middle-class +people live." + +The Duchess looked round the big room, and then glanced out at the +Square. + +"Harrison had some difficulty in finding the place," she said, "but +the British Museum guided him; it is a landmark. Even we people of +Mayfair go to the British Museum sometimes. It is colossal and +national, and you live close to it. Do you often study there, +Westenra? Don't go too often, for stooping over those old books gives +girls such a poke. But you really look quite comfortable here." + +"We are delightfully comfortable," I said. "We enjoy our lives +immensely." + +"It is very nice to see you, Victoria," said mother. + +Then I saw by the look on mother's face that while I had supposed her +to be perfectly happy, all this time she had been more or less +suffering. She had missed the people of her own kind. The Duchess +looked her all over. + +"You are out of your element here, Mary," she said, "and so is this +child. It is a preposterous idea, a sort of freak of nature. I never +thought Westenra would become odd; she bids fair to be very odd. I +don't agree with the Duke. I don't care for odd people, they don't +marry well as a rule. Of course there are exceptions. I said so to the +Duke when----" + +"When what?" I said, seeing that she paused. + +"Nothing, my love, nothing. I have come here, Westenra, to let you and +your mother know that whenever you like to step up again I will give +you a helping hand." + +"Oh, we are never going back to the old life," I said. "We could not +afford it, and I don't know either that we should care to live as we +did--should we, Mummy? We know our true friends now." + +"That is unkind, my child. The fact is, it is the idea of the +_boarding-house_ that all your friends shrink from. If you and your +mother had taken a nice house in the country, not a large and +expensive house, but a fairly respectable one, with a little ground +round, I and other people I know might have got ladies to live with +you and to pay you well. Our special friends who wanted change and +quiet might have been very glad to go to you for two or three weeks, +but you must see for yourselves, both of you, that this sort of thing +is impossible. Nevertheless, I came here to-day to say that whenever, +Westenra, you step up, you will find your old friend----" + +"And godmother," I said. + +"And godmother," she repeated, "willing to give you a helping hand." + +"When you became my godmother," I said slowly (oh, I know I was very +rude, but I could not quite help myself), "you promised for me, did +you not, that I should not love the world?" + +The Duchess gazed at me out of her round, good-humoured brown eyes. + +"We all know just what that means," she said. + +"No, we do not," I answered. "I think very few people do know or +realise it in the very least. Now stepping back again might mean the +world; perhaps mother and I would rather stay where we are." + +As I spoke I got up impatiently and walked to one of the windows, and +just then I saw Mr. Randolph coming up the steps. As a rule he was +seldom in to lunch; he was an erratic individual, always sleeping in +the house, and generally some time during the day having a little chat +with mother, but for the rest he was seldom present at any of our +meals except late dinner. Why was he coming to lunch to-day? I heard +his step on the stairs, he had a light, springy step, the drawing-room +door opened and he came in. + +"Ah, Jim," said the Duchess, "I scarcely expected to see you here." + +She got up and held out her hand; he grasped it. I thought his face +wore a peculiar expression. I am not quite certain about this, for I +could not see him very well from where I was standing, but I did +notice that the Duchess immediately became on her guard. She dropped +his hand and turned to mother. + +"I met Mr. Randolph last year in Italy," she said. + +Mother now entered into conversation with them both, and I stood by +the window looking out into the square, and wondering why the Duchess +had coloured when she saw him. Why had she called him Jim? If she only +met him last year abroad it was scarcely likely that she would be +intimate enough to speak to him by his Christian name. A moment later +she rose. + +"You may take me down to my carriage, Jim," she said. "Good-bye, +Westenra; you are a naughty girl, full of defiance, and you think your +old godmother very unkind, but whenever you step up I shall be waiting +to help you. Good-bye, good-bye. Oh hurry, please, Mr. Randolph, some +of those creatures may be coming in. Good-bye, dear, good-bye." + +She nodded to mother, laid her hand lightly on Mr. Randolph's arm, +who took her down and put her into her carriage. They spoke together +for a moment, I watched them from behind the drawing-room curtains, +then the carriage rolled away, and the square was left to its usual +solid respectability. Doctors' carriages did occasionally drive +through it, and flourishing doctors drove a pair of horses as often as +not, but the strawberry on the panels showed itself no more for many a +long day in that region. + +At lunch the boarders were in a perfect state of ferment. Even Captain +and Mrs. Furlong were inclined to be subservient. Did we really know +the Duchess of Wilmot? Captain Furlong was quite up in the annals of +the nobility. This was one of his little weaknesses, for he was quite +in every sense of the word a gentleman; but he did rather air his +knowledge of this smart lady and of that whom he had happened to meet +in the course of his wanderings. + +"There are few women I admire more than the Duchess of Wilmot," he +said to mother, "she is so charitable, so good. She was a Silchester, +you know, she comes of a long and noble line. For my part, I believe +strongly in heredity. Have you known the Duchess long, Mrs. Wickham?" + +"All my life," answered mother simply. + +"Really! All your life?" + +"Yes," she replied, "we were brought up in the same village." + +The servant came up with vegetables, and mother helped herself. +Captain Furlong looked a little more satisfied. + +Mrs. Armstrong gave me a violent nudge in the side. + +"I suppose your mother was the clergyman's daughter?" she said. "The +great people generally patronise the daughters of the clergy in the +places where they live. I have often noticed it. I said so to Marion +last night. I said, if only, Marion, you could get into that set, you +would begin to know the upper ten, clergymen are so respectable; but +Marion, if you'll believe it, will have nothing to do with them. She +says she would not be a curate's wife for the world. What I say is +this, she wouldn't always be a curate's wife, for he would be sure to +get a living, and if he were a smart preacher, he might be a dean +by-and-by, or even a bishop, just think of it. But Marion shuts her +eyes to all these possibilities, and says that nothing would give her +greater torture than teaching in Sunday-school and having mothers' +meetings. With her h'artistic soul I suppose it is scarcely to be +expected that she should take to that kind of employment. And your +mother was the clergyman's daughter, was she not?" + +"No," I answered. I did not add any more. I did not repeat either that +the Duchess happened to be my godmother. I turned the conversation. + +Mr. Randolph sat near mother and talked to her, and soon other things +occupied the attention of the boarders, and the Duchess's visit ceased +to be the topic of conversation. + +On the next evening but one, Mr. Randolph came to my side. + +"I heard your mother say, Miss Wickham, that you are both fond of the +theatre. Now I happen to have secured, through a friend, three tickets +for the first night of Macbeth. I should be so glad if you would allow +me to take you and Mrs. Wickham to the Lyceum." + +"And I should like it, Westenra," said mother--she came up while he +was speaking. Miss Armstrong happened to be standing near, and I am +sure she overheard. Her face turned a dull red, she walked a step or +two away. I thought for a moment. I should have greatly preferred to +refuse; I was beginning, I could not tell why, to have an uneasy +feeling with regard to Mr. Randolph--there was a sort of mystery about +his staying in the house, and why did the Duchess know him, and why +did she call him Jim. But my mother's gentle face and the longing in +her eyes made me reply-- + +"If mother likes it, of course I shall like it. Thank you very much +for asking us." + +"I hope you will enjoy it," was his reply, "I am glad you will come." +He did not allude again to the matter, but talked on indifferent +subjects. We were to go to the Lyceum on the following evening. + +The next day early I went into mother's room. Mother was not at all as +strong as I could have wished. She had a slight cough, and there was a +faded, fagged sort of look about her, a look I had never seen when we +lived in Mayfair. She was subject to palpitations of the heart too, +and often turned quite faint when she went through any additional +exertion. These symptoms had begun soon after our arrival at 17 Graham +Square. She had never had them in the bygone days, when her friends +came to see her and she went to see them. Was mother too old for this +transplanting? Was it a little rough on her? + +Thoughts like these made me very gentle whenever I was in my dear +mother's presence, and I was willing and longing to forget myself, if +only she might be happy. + +"What kind of day is it, Westenra?" she said the moment I put in an +appearance. She was not up yet, she was lying in bed supported by +pillows. Her dear, fragile beautiful face looked something like the +most delicate old porcelain. She was sipping a cup of strong soup, +which Jane Mullins had just sent up to her. + +"O Mummy!" I said, kissing her frantically, "are you ill? What is the +matter?" + +"No, my darling, I am quite as well as usual," she answered, "a little +weak, but that is nothing. I am tired sometimes, Westenra." + +"Tired, but you don't do a great deal," I said. + +"That's just it, my love, I do too little. If I had more to do I +should be better." + +"More visiting, I suppose, and that sort of thing?" I said. + +"Yes," she answered very gently, "more visiting, more variety, more +exchange of ideas--if it were not for Mr. Randolph." + +"You like him?" I said. + +"Don't you, my darling?" + +"I don't know, mother, I am not sure about him. Who is he?" + +"A nice gentlemanly fellow." + +"Mother, I sometimes think he is other than what he seems, we know +nothing whatever about him." + +"He is a friend of Jane Mullins's," said mother. + +"But, mother, how can that be? He is not really a friend of Jane +Mullins's. Honest little Jane belongs essentially to the people. You +have only to look from one face to the other to see what a wide gulf +there is between them. He is accustomed to good society; he is a man +of the world. Mother, I am certain he is keeping something to himself. +I cannot understand why he lives here. Why should he live here?" + +"He likes it," answered mother. "He enjoys his many conversations with +me. He likes the neighbourhood. He says Bloomsbury is far more healthy +than Mayfair." + +"Mother, dear, is it likely that such a man would think much about his +health." + +"I am sorry you are prejudiced against him," said mother, and a +fretful quaver came into her voice. "Well," she added, "I am glad the +day is fine, we shall enjoy our little expedition this evening." + +"But are you sure it won't be too much for you?" + +"Too much! I am so wanting to go," said mother. + +"Then that is right, and I am delighted." + +"By the way," continued mother, "I had a note this morning from Mr. +Randolph; he wants us to dine with him first at the Hotel Cecil." + +"Mother!" + +"Yes, darling; is there any objection?" + +"Oh, I don't like it," I continued; "why should we put ourselves under +an obligation to him?" + +"I do not think, Westenra, you need be afraid; if I think it right to +go you need have no scruples." + +"Of course I understand that," I answered, "and if it were any one +else I should not think twice about it. If the Duchess, for instance, +asked us to dine with her, and if she took us afterwards to the +theatre I should quite rejoice, but I am puzzled about Mr. Randolph." + +"Prejudiced, you mean, dear; but never mind, you are young. As long as +you have me with you, you need have no scruples. I have written a line +to him to say that we will be pleased to dine with him. He is to meet +us at the hotel, and is sending a carriage for us here. I own I shall +be very glad once in a way to eat at a table where Mrs. Armstrong is +not." + +"I have always tried to keep Mrs. Armstrong out of your way, mother." + +"Yes, darling; but she irritates me all the same. However, she is a +good soul, and I must learn to put up with her. Now then, West, what +will you wear to-night?" + +"Something very quiet," I answered. + +"One of your white dresses." + +"I have only white silk, that is too much." + +"You can make it simpler; you can take away ornaments and flowers. I +want to see you in white again. I am perfectly tired of that black +dress which you put on every evening." + +I left mother soon afterwards, and the rest of the day proceeded in +the usual routine. I would not confess even to myself that I was glad +I was going to the Lyceum with Mr. Randolph and mother, but when I saw +a new interest in her face and a brightness in her voice, I tried to +be pleased on her account. After all, she was the one to be +considered. If it gave her pleasure it was all as it should be. + +When I went upstairs finally to dress for this occasion, which seemed +in the eyes of Jane Mullins to be a very great occasion, she (Jane) +followed me to my door. I heard her knock on the panels, and told her +to come in with some impatience in my voice. + +"Now that is right," she said; "I was hoping you would not put on that +dismal black. Young things should be in white." + +"Jane," I said, turning suddenly round and speaking with great +abruptness, "what part of the cake do you suppose Mr. Randolph +represents?" + +Jane paused for a moment; there came a twinkle into her eyes. + +"Well, now," she said, "I should like to ask you that question myself, +say in a year's time." + +"I have asked it of you now," I said; "answer, please." + +"Let's call him the nutmeg," said Jane. "We put nutmeg into some kinds +of rich cake. It strikes me that the cake of this establishment is +becoming very rich and complicated now. It gives a rare flavour, does +nutmeg, used judiciously." + +"I know nothing about it," I answered with impatience. "What part of +the cake is mother?" + +"Oh, the ornamental icing," said Jane at once; "it gives tone to the +whole." + +"And I, Jane, I?" + +"A dash of spirit, which we put in at the end to give the subtle +flavour," was Jane's immediate response. + +"Thank you, Jane, you are very complimentary." + +"To return to your dress, dear, I am glad you are wearing white." + +"I am putting on white to please mother," I replied, "otherwise I +should not wear it. To tell the truth, I never felt less disposed for +an evening's amusement in my life." + +"Then that is extremely wrong of you, Westenra. They are all envying +you downstairs. As to poor Miss Armstrong, she would give her eyes to +go. They are every one of them in the drawing-room, and dressed in +their showiest, and it has leaked out that you won't be there, nor +Mrs. Wickham, nor--nor Mr. Randolph, and that I'll be the only one to +keep the place in order to-night. I do trust those attic boarders +won't get the better of me, for I have a spice of temper in me when I +am roused, and those attics do rouse me sometimes almost beyond +endurance. As I said before, we get too much of the attic element in +the house, and if we don't look sharp the cake will be too heavy." + +"That would never do," I replied. I was hurriedly fastening on my +white dress as I spoke. It was of a creamy shade, and hung in graceful +folds, and I felt something like the Westenra of old times as I +gathered up my fan and white gloves, and wrapped my opera cloak round +me. I was ready. My dress was simplicity itself, but it suited me. I +noticed how slim and tall I looked, and then ran downstairs, +determined to forget myself and to devote the whole evening to making +mother as happy as woman could be. + +Mother was seated in the drawing-room, looking stately, a little +nervous, and very beautiful. The ladies of the establishment were +fussing round her. They had already made her into a sort of queen, and +she certainly looked regal to-night. + +The servant came up and announced that the carriage was waiting. We +went downstairs. It was a little brougham, dull chocolate in colour. A +coachman in quiet livery sat on the box; a footman opened the door for +us. The brougham was drawn by a pair of chestnuts. + +"Most unsuitable," I murmured to myself. "What sort of man is Mr. +Randolph?" + +Mother, however, looked quite at home and happy in the little +brougham. She got in, and we drove off. It was now the middle of +November, and I am sure several faces were pressed against the glass +of the drawing-room windows as we were whirled rapidly out of the +Square. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +WHY DID HE DO IT? + + +Mr. Randolph had engaged a private room at the hotel. We sat down +three to dinner. During the first pause I bent towards him and said in +a semi-whisper-- + +"Why did you send that grand carriage for us?" + +"Did it annoy you?" he asked, slightly raising his brows, and that +quizzical and yet fascinating light coming into his eyes. + +"Yes," I replied. "It was unsuitable." + +"I do not agree with you, Westenra," said mother. + +"It was unsuitable," I continued. "When we stepped into our present +position we meant to stay in it. Mr. Randolph humiliates us when he +sends unsuitable carriages for us." + +"It happened to be my friend's carriage," he answered simply. "He lent +it to me--the friend who has also given me tickets for the Lyceum. I +am sorry. I won't transgress again in the same way." + +His tone did not show a trace of annoyance, and he continued to speak +in his usual tranquil fashion. + +As to mother, she was leaning back in her chair and eating a little, +a very little, of the many good things provided, and looking simply +radiant. She was quite at home. I saw by the expression on her face +that she had absolutely forgotten the boarding-house; the attics were +as if they had never existed; the third floor and the second floor +boarders had vanished completely from her memory. Even Jane Mullins +was not. She and I were as we used to be; our old house in Sumner +Place was still our home. We had our own carriage, we had our own +friends. We belonged to Mayfair. Mother had forgotten Bloomsbury, and +what I feared she considered its many trials. Mr. Randolph talked as +pleasantly and cheerfully as man could talk, keeping clear of shoals, +and conducting us into the smoothest and pleasantest waters. + +When dinner was over he led us to the same unsuitable carriage and we +drove to the Lyceum. We had a very nice box on the first tier, and saw +the magnificent play to perfection. Mr. Randolph made me take one of +the front chairs, and I saw many of my old friends. Lady Thesiger +kissed her hand to me two or three times, and at the first curtain +paid us both a brief visit. + +"Ah," she said, "this is nice; your trial scheme is over, Westenra, +and you are back again." + +"Nothing of the kind," I answered, colouring with vexation. + +"Introduce me to your friend, won't you?" she continued, looking at +Mr. Randolph with a queer half amused gaze. + +I introduced him. Lady Thesiger entered into conversation. Presently +she beckoned me out of the box. + +"Come and sit with me in my box during the next act," she said, "I +have a great deal to say to you." + +"But I don't want to leave mother," I replied. + +"Nonsense! that cavalier of hers, that delightful young man, how +handsome and distinguished looking he is! will take care of her. What +do you say his name is--Randolph, Randolph--let me think, it is a good +name. Do you know anything about him?" + +"Nothing whatever, he happens to be one of our boarders," I replied. +"He has taken a fancy to mother, and gave us tickets and brought us to +this box to-night." + +Jasmine looked me all over. + +"I must say you have not at all the appearance of a young woman who +has stepped down in the social scale," she remarked. "What a pretty +dress that is, and you have a nicer colour than ever in your cheeks. +Do you know that you are a very handsome girl?" + +"You have told me so before, but I detest compliments," was my brusque +rejoinder. + +"Oh! I can see that you are as queer and eccentric as ever. Now I tell +you what it is, it is my opinion that you're not poor at all, and +that you are doing all this for a freak." + +"And suppose that were the case, what difference would it make?" I +inquired. + +"Oh! in that case," answered Lady Thesiger, "your friends would simply +think you eccentric, and love you more than ever. It is the fashion to +be eccentric now, it is poverty that crushes, you must know that." + +"Yes," I answered with bitterness, "it is poverty that crushes. Well, +then, from that point of view we are crushed, for we are desperately +poor. But in our present nice comfortable house, even contaminated as +we are by our paying guests, we do not feel our poverty, for we have +all the good things of life around us, and the whole place seems very +flourishing. Why don't you come to see us, Jasmine?" + +"I am afraid you will want me to recommend my friends to go to you, +and I really cannot, Westenra, I cannot." + +"But why should you not recommend them?" + +"They will get to know that you were, that you belonged, that +you"--Jasmine stopped and coloured high. "I cannot do it," she said, +"you must not expect it." + +"I won't," I replied with some pride. + +"But all the same, I will come some morning," she continued. "You look +so nice, and Mr. Randolph is so--by the way, what Randolph is he? I +must find out all about him. Do question him about the county he comes +from." + +I did not answer, and having said good-bye to Jasmine, returned to our +own box. + +The play came to an end, and we went home. Mother had gone up to her +room. Mr. Randolph and I found ourselves for a moment alone. + +"This evening has done her good," he said, glancing at me in an +interrogative fashion. + +"Are you talking of mother?" I replied. + +"Yes, you must see how much brighter she appeared. Do you think it did +really help her?" + +"I do not understand you," I replied; "help her? She enjoyed it, of +course." + +"But can't you see for yourself," he continued, and his voice was +emphatic and his eyes shone with suppressed indignation, "that your +mother is starving. She will not complain; she is one of the best and +sweetest women I have ever met, but all the same, I am anxious about +her, this life does not suit her--not at all." + +"I am sure you are mistaken; I do not think mother is as miserable as +you make her out to be," I replied. "I know, of course, she enjoyed +this evening." + +"She must have more evenings like this," he continued; "many more, and +you must not be angry if I try to make things pleasant for her." + +"Mr. Randolph," I said impulsively, "you puzzle me dreadfully. I +cannot imagine why you live with us; you do not belong to the class of +men who live in boarding-houses." + +"Nor do you belong to the class of girls who keep boarding-houses," he +replied. + +"No, but circumstances have forced mother and me to do what we do. +Circumstances have not forced you. It was my whim that we should earn +money in this way. You don't think that I was cruel to mother. She +certainly did not want to come here, it was I who insisted." + +"You are so young and so ignorant," he replied. + +"Ignorant!" I cried. + +"Yes, and very young." He spoke sadly. "You cannot see all that this +means to an older person," he continued. "Now, do not be angry, but I +have noticed for some time that your mother wants change. Will you try +to accept any little amusements I may be able to procure for her in a +friendly spirit? I can do much for her if it does not worry you, but +if you will not enjoy her pleasures, she will not be happy either. Can +you not understand?" + +I looked at him again, and saw that his face was honest and his eyes +kind. + +"May I give your mother these little pleasures?" he continued; "she +interests me profoundly. Some day I will tell you why I have a special +reason for being interested in your mother. I cannot tell you at +present, but I do not want you to misunderstand me. May I make up to +her in a little measure for much that she has lost, may I?" + +"You may," I answered; "you are kind, I am greatly obliged to you. I +will own that I was cross for a moment--you hurt my pride; but you may +do what you like in future, my pride shall not rise in a hurry again." +I held out my hand, he took it and wrung it. I ran upstairs, mother +was sitting before her fire. She looked sweet, and her eyes were +bright, and there was a new strength in her voice. + +"We have had a delightful evening," she said. "I hope you are not +tired, my darling." + +"I am quite fresh," I answered. "I am so pleased you enjoyed it." + +"I did, dearest; did you?" + +"Yes, and no," I answered; "but if you are happy I am." + +"Sit down by me, Westenra. Let us talk a little of what has just +happened." + +I humoured her, of course. Mr. Randolph's words had rather alarmed me. +Did he see more ill-health about mother than I had noticed? was he +seriously anxious about her? But now as she sat there she seemed well, +very well, not at all tired, quite cheerful, and like her own self. +She took my hand. + +Jane--dear, active, industrious Jane--had gone early to bed, but a +little supper had been left ready for mother. She tasted some of the +jelly, then laid the spoon down by her plate. + +"You were rude to Mr. Randolph at dinner, West," she said. + +"I am sorry if I vexed you," I answered. + +"But what had he done to annoy you?" + +"I could not bear him to send that carriage. It was so unsuitable, +servants in livery and those splendid horses; and all the boarders did +stare so. It seemed quite out of keeping with our present lot. But +never mind, Mummy, he may bring any carriage--the Lord Mayor's, if you +like--only don't look so unhappy." I felt the tears had come into my +voice, but I took good care they should not reach my eyes. I bent and +kissed mother on her cheek. + +"You want your old life, your dear old life," I said, "and your old +comforts. I am very happy, and I want you to be the same. If I have +made a mistake, and you are injured by this, it will break my heart." + +"I am not injured at all, I am happy," she said. + +"You like Mr. Randolph?" + +"I do. He belongs to the old life." + +"Then he is no mystery to you?" + +"I take him quite simply, as a good-natured fellow, who has plenty of +money, and is attracted by our rather queer position," she answered, +"that is all. I don't make mysteries where none may exist." + +"Then I will do likewise," I said cheerfully. + +The next morning when I awoke it seemed like a dream that we had +dined at the Cecil and enjoyed the luxury of a box at the Lyceum, that +we had for a brief time stepped back into our old existence. + +The morning was a foggy one, one of the first bad fogs of the season. +The boarders were cross--breakfast was not quite as luxurious as +usual; even Jane was a little late and a little put out. The boarders +were very fond of porridge, and it happened to be slightly burnt that +morning. There were discontented looks, and even discontented words, +from more than one uninteresting individual. Then Mr. Randolph came +in, looking very fresh and neat and pleasant, and sat down boldly in +the vacant seat near me, and began to talk about last night. Mother +never got up until after breakfast. Mrs. Armstrong gazed at me, and +Miss Armstrong tossed her food about, and the other boarders, even the +Furlongs, cast curious glances in our direction; but I had determined +to take him at his word, and to enjoy all the pleasures he could give +us; and as to Mr. Randolph himself, I don't believe any one could +upset his composure. He talked a good deal about our last night's +entertainment, and said that he hoped to be able to take us to the +theatre again soon. + +Just at that moment a shrill voice sounded in his ears. + +"Did I hear you say, Mr. Randolph," called out Mrs. Armstrong from her +place at the opposite side of the board, "that you have a large +connection with the theatrical managers?" + +"No, you did not, Mrs. Armstrong," was his very quiet rejoinder. + +"I beg your pardon, I'm sure." Mrs Armstrong flushed. Miss Armstrong +touched her on her arm. + +"Lor! mother, how queer of you," she said; "I am sure Mr. Randolph +said nothing of the kind. Why, these play managers are quite a low +sort of people; I'm ashamed of you, mother." + +"I happen to know Irving very well," said Mr. Randolph, "and also +Beerbohm Tree and Wilson Barrett, and I do not think any of these +distinguished men of genius are a low sort of people." + +"It is the exception that proves the rule," said Mrs. Armstrong, +glancing at her daughter and bridling. "You should not take me up so +sharp, Marion. What I was going to say was this, Mr. Randolph--can you +or can you not get us tickets cheap for one of the plays. We have a +great hankering to go, both me and Marion, and seeing that we are all +in this house--one family, so to speak--it don't seem fair, do it, +that _all_ the favour should go to one?"--here she cast a withering +glance at me. + +Mr. Randolph turned and looked at me, and that quizzical laughing +light was very bright in his eyes, then he turned towards Mrs. +Armstrong, and, after a brief pause, said gently-- + +"What day would suit you best to go to the Lyceum?" + +"Oh, Mr. Randolph!" said Marion Armstrong in a voice of rapture. + +"Because if to-morrow night would be convenient to you two ladies," he +continued, "I think I can promise you stalls. I will let you know at +lunch-time." Here he rose, gave a slight bow in the direction of the +Armstrongs, and left the room. + +"Now I have done it, and I am glad," said Mrs. Armstrong. + +"I do hope, ma," continued Marion, "that he means to come with us. I +want to go just as Mrs. Wickham and Miss Wickham went, in the brougham +with the coachman and the footman, and to have dinner at the Cecil. It +must be delightful dining at the Cecil, Miss Wickham. They say that +most dinners there cost five pounds, is that true?" + +"I cannot tell you," I replied. "Mother and I were Mr. Randolph's +guests." + +Mrs. Armstrong looked me up and down. She thought it best at that +moment to put on a very knowing look, and the expression of her face +was most annoying. + +"Don't you ask impertinent questions, Marion," she said; "you and me +must be thankful for small mercies, and for those two stalls, even if +we do go as lone females. But I hope to goodness Mr. Randolph won't +forget about it. If he does, I'll take the liberty to remind him. Now +be off with you, Marion, your h'Art awaits you. What you may become if +you take pains, goodness only knows. You may be giving tickets +yourself for the theatre some day--that is, if you develop your +talents to the utmost." + +Amongst other matters which Jane Mullins took upon her own broad +shoulders was the interviewing of all strangers who came to inquire +about the house. She said frankly that it would never do for me to +undertake this office, and that mother was not to be worried. She was +the person to do it, and she accordingly conducted this part of the +business as well as--I began dimly to perceive--almost every other, +for mother had next to nothing to do, and I had still less. I almost +resented my position--it was not what I had dreamed about. I ought to +help Jane, I ought to throw myself into the work, I ought to make +things go smoothly. Dear Jane's fagged face began to appeal less to me +than it had at first. Was I getting hardened? Was I getting injured? I +put these questions to myself now and then, but I think without any +great seriousness--I was sure that my plan was, on the whole, +sensible, and I would not reproach myself for what I had done. + +On the evening of the day which followed our visit to the Lyceum a new +inmate appeared in the drawing-room. He was a tall man, considerably +over six feet in height, very lanky and thin, with a somewhat German +cast of face, pale-blue eyes, a bald forehead, hair slightly inclined +to be sandy, an ugly mouth with broken teeth, and a long moustache +which, with all his efforts, did not conceal this defect. + +The new boarder was introduced to my mother and me by Jane Mullins as +Mr. Albert Fanning. He bowed profoundly when the introduction was +made, and gave me a bold glance. At dinner I found, rather to my +annoyance, that he was placed next to me. Jane usually put strangers +next to me at the table, as she said that it gave general +satisfaction, and helped to keep the house full. + +"What sort of man is Mr. Fanning?" I asked as we were going down to +dinner. + +"I don't know anything about him, dear," was her reply. "He pays well, +generously, in fact--no less than five guineas a week. He has a room +on the first floor, but not one of our largest. It is a very good +thing to have him, for we don't often let the first floor rooms. It's +the attics and third floors that go off so quickly. I don't know +anything about him, but he seems to be somewhat of a character." + +I made no reply to this, but the moment we seated ourselves at table +Mr. Fanning bent towards me, and said in a low voice-- + +"I think myself extremely honoured to have made your acquaintance, +Miss Wickham." + +"Indeed," I answered in some surprise. "And why, may I ask?" + +"I have often seen you in the Park. I saw you there last season and +the season before. When I heard that you and Mrs. Wickham had taken +this boarding-house, I made a point of securing rooms here as quickly +as possible." + +As he said this I felt myself shrinking away from him. I glanced in +the direction of the upper part of the table, where Mr. Randolph was +talking to mother. Mr. Fanning bent again towards me. + +"I do not wish to say anything specially personal," he remarked, "but +just for once I should like to say, if I never repeat it again, that I +think you are a most enterprising, and, let me repeat, most charming +young lady." + +The servant was helping me just then to some bread. I turned my face +away from Mr. Fanning, but when I looked round again he must have seen +my flushed cheeks. + +"I am a publisher," he said, lowering his voice, which was one of his +most trying characteristics whenever he addressed me. "Most girls like +to hear about publishers and about books. Has the writing mania seized +you yet, Miss Wickham?" + +"No," I replied, "I have not the slightest taste for writing. I am not +the least bit imaginative." + +"Now, what a pity that is; but there is a great deal of writing +besides the imaginative type. What I was going to say was this, that +if at any time a small manuscript of yours were put in my way, it +would receive the most prompt and business-like attention. I am a very +business-like person. I have an enormous connection. My place of +business is in Paternoster Row. The Row is devoted to books, as you +know. All my books are of a go-ahead stamp; they sell by thousands. +Did you ever see a publisher's office, Miss Wickham?" + +"No," I said. + +"I should be most pleased to conduct you over mine, if you liked to +call some day at the Row. I could take you there immediately after +luncheon, and show you the premises any day you liked. Eh! Did you +speak?" + +"I am very much occupied with my mother, and seldom or never go +anywhere without her," was my reply to this audacious proposal. I then +turned my shoulder upon my aggressive neighbour, and began to talk +frantically to a lady at my other side. She was a dull little woman, +and I could scarcely get a word out of her. Her name was Mrs. Sampson; +she was slightly deaf, and said "Eh, eh!" to each remark of mine. But +she was a refuge from the intolerable Mr. Fanning, and I roused myself +to be most polite to her during the remainder of the meal. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +TWO EXTREMES + + +Mr. Fanning followed us upstairs after dinner. I greatly hoped that he +was the sort of man who would not often frequent the drawing-room, but +I soon perceived my mistake. He not only entered that apartment, but +attached himself as soon as possible to my side. He was beyond doubt +the most disagreeable boarder we had yet secured. Indeed, Mrs. and +Miss Armstrong were delightful compared to him. I now saw Miss +Armstrong glance two or three times both at him and me, and rising +deliberately, I crossed the room, and with a motion of my hand, asked +him to accompany me. I then introduced him to that young lady. She +blushed when I did so, and bridled a little. She did not evidently +think him at all objectionable. I went back immediately to my seat +near mother, and could scarcely suppress a feeling of pleasure at Mr. +Fanning's too evident discomfiture. + +I generally sang a couple of songs in the evening, and I was asked, as +usual, to do so to-night. My voice was a rather sweet mezzo soprano, +and I had been well taught. I sat down before the piano, as usual. +When Mr. Randolph was in the room he always came and turned the pages +of my music for me, but he was not present this evening, although he +had dined with us; he had evidently gone out immediately afterwards. +Now a voice sounded in my ears. I turned, and saw the objectionable +and irrepressible Mr. Fanning. + +"Why did you play me that trick?" he said. + +"What trick?" I asked. "I do not play tricks; I do not understand +you." + +"You do understand me perfectly well. Oh, pray do sing this song; I am +sure it is charming. It is an old English ditty, is it not?--'Begone, +Dull Care, You and I will Never Agree.' Now, that is just my way of +thinking. I hate dismal people, and as to care, I never bother with +it. To hear such a sprightly song from your lips will be indeed what I +may call a pick-me-up." + +I almost rose from the piano, but knowing that such a proceeding would +call public attention to Mr. Fanning's most unpleasant remarks, I said +in a low, emphatic voice-- + +"I will not play for you, nor allow you to turn my music, if you talk +to me as you are now doing. You must address me as you would any other +lady, and I will not permit what you consider compliments." + +"Oh, I am sure I have no wish to offend. Sorry I spoke," he said. He +did not blush--I do not think he could--but he passed his hand across +his rather ugly mouth, and gave me a peculiar glance out of his queer +blue eyes. He then said in a low voice-- + +"Believe me, it will be my utmost endeavour to make myself agreeable. +I quite see what you mean. You do not want folks to remark; that's it, +and I absolutely understand. But you must not play me those sort of +tricks again, you know. I really cannot be introduced to ladies of the +sort you just gave me an introduction to." + +"Miss Armstrong is an excellent girl," I said, "and I shall ask her to +sing when I leave the piano. She is very talented, and has a love both +for music and art." + +I then sang my one song, enduring the odious proximity of this most +unpleasant man. I fancied I saw a conscious expression on the faces of +several of our guests, and resolved that whatever happened, Mr. +Fanning must leave on the following day. Such a man could not be +permitted to remain in the place. + +Later on, as I was going to bed, there came a tap at my door. I opened +it, half hoping, half fearing, that Jane herself might have come to +see me. On the contrary, somewhat to my surprise, I saw Mrs. Furlong. +She asked me if she might come in. I eagerly begged of her to do so, +and drew a comfortable chair forward for her acceptance. + +"What is the matter?" I said. "Do you want to say anything special?" + +"I do, my dear Miss Wickham," replied the lady. "I have come for the +purpose." + +"Yes?" I said in a slight tone of query. + +"How did that objectionable man, Mr. Fanning, get here?" + +"I suppose he came because he wanted to," I replied. "The house is +open to any one who will pay, and who bears a respectable character." + +"The house ought only to be open to those who bear agreeable +characters, and know how to act as gentlemen," replied Mrs. Furlong +stoutly. "Now my husband and I dislike that person extremely, but +after all the fact of whether we like him or not matters but little; +it is because he tries to annoy you that we are really concerned. +Would you not rather at dinner come and sit at our end of the table? +It always seems very hard to us that you should sit with your +housekeeper, Miss Mullins, and amongst the least nice members of the +establishment." + +"But you must please remember," I said, "that Jane is not a +housekeeper, she is one of the partners in this concern. It is kind of +you to think of me, but I cannot do what you propose. I must help Jane +in every way in my power. You do not know how good and true she is, +and how little I really do for her. If I sat with you we should have a +regular clique in the place, and by degrees the boarders would go, at +least those boarders who were not included in our set." + +"I see," answered Mrs. Furlong. "It is all most unsuitable," she +added, and she stared straight before her. After a moment's pause she +looked at me again. + +"It is the queerest arrangement I ever heard of in all my life. Don't +you think you are peculiarly unsuited to your present life?" + +"I don't know; I hope not." + +"You are a lady." + +"That is my birthright. The boarding-house cannot deprive me of it," I +answered. + +"Oh, I know all that, but the life is not suitable. You will find it +less and less suitable as time goes on. At present you have got your +mother to protect you, but----" + +"What do you mean by at present I have got my mother?" I cried. "My +mother is young, comparatively young; she is not more than three and +forty. What do you mean, Mrs. Furlong?" + +"Oh nothing, dear," she said, colouring, "nothing at all. One always +has, you know, in this uncertain world to contemplate the possibility +of loss, but don't think again of what I have said. The fact is the +life is quite as unsuitable for her as for you. You are put in a +position which you cannot possibly maintain, my dear Miss Wickham. +That awful man felt to-night that he had a right to pay you +disagreeable attentions. Now is this thing to go on? I assure you +Captain Furlong and I were quite distressed when we saw how he behaved +to you when you were at the piano." + +The tears rushed to my eyes. + +"It is kind of you to sympathise with me," I said. "I am going to +speak to Jane Mullins to-morrow. If possible Mr. Fanning must go." + +"But there is another thing," began Mrs. Furlong. She paused, and I +saw that she was about to say something, even more disagreeable than +anything she had yet uttered. + +"You have your mother, of course," she continued slowly, "but you +yourself are very young, and--now I don't want to compliment you--but +you are much nicer looking than many girls; you have quite a different +air and appearance from any other girl in this house. Oh, I hate +interfering, but your mother, Miss Wickham, must be a particularly +innocent woman." + +"What do you mean?" I asked. + +"I mean Mr. Randolph," she answered, and she raised her eyes and fixed +them on my face. + +"Mr. Randolph?" I said. "Surely you must admit that he at least is a +gentleman?" + +"He is not only a gentleman, but he is more highly born and has more +money than any one else in the house; he does not belong to the set +who fill this house at all. Why does he come? This is no place for +him. In one way it is quite as unsuitable to have him here as it is to +have a man like Mr. Fanning here. Those two men represent opposite +extremes. People will talk." + +"What about?" I asked. + +"About you, dear." + +"They cannot. I will not permit it." Then I said abruptly, standing up +in my excitement, "After all, I don't care whether they talk or not; I +was prepared for misunderstandings when I came here. Mother likes Mr. +Randolph; he at least shall stay." + +"But, my child, it is not nice to be talked about; it is never nice +for a young girl. People like my husband and myself quite understand. +We know well that you and your mother are at present out of your right +position, but others will not be so considerate. Mr. Randolph is +always here." + +"You think," I said, stammering, "that he comes because----" + +She smiled, got up and kissed me. + +"What else could he come for, Westenra?" she said softly. + +"He comes because--because of mother," I answered. "He likes her; he +told me so. He is anxious about her, for he thinks she misses her old +life very much; he wants to make things easier for her. He is a very +good man, and I respect him. I don't mind what any one says, I know in +my heart he comes here because----" + +"No, you do not," said Mrs. Furlong, and she looked me full in the +eyes, and I found myself colouring and stammering. + +"Believe me I have not intruded upon you this evening without cause," +said the little woman. "I talked the matter over with my husband. I +would rather Mr. Fanning were here than Mr. Randolph. Mr. Fanning is +impossible, Mr. Randolph is not. He does not come here on account of +your mother, he comes here because he likes you. I am very sorry; I +felt I must speak; my husband agrees with me." + +"Do not say another word now," I said. "I am sure you mean all this +kindly, but please do not say any more now. I will think over what you +have said." + +"I will leave you then, dear," she said. + +She went as far as the door; she was a very kindly little woman, she +was a real lady, and she meant well, but she had hurt me so +indescribably that at that moment I almost hated her. When she reached +the door she turned and said-- + +"If ever my husband and I can help you, Miss Wickham (but we are poor +people), if ever we can help you, we will be glad to do so. I know you +are angry with me now, but your anger won't remain, you will see who +are your true friends by-and-by." + +She closed the door softly, and I heard her gentle steps going +downstairs. I will frankly say that I did not go to bed for some time, +that I paced indignantly up and down my room. I hated Jane, I hated +Mr. Fanning, I still more cordially hated Mr. Randolph at that moment. +Mr. Fanning must go, Mr. Randolph must go. I could not allow myself to +be spoken about. How intolerable of Mr. Randolph to have come as he +had done, to have forced himself upon us, to have invited us to go out +with him, to have----and then I stopped, and a great lump rose in my +throat, and I burst into tears, for in my heart of hearts I knew well +that I did not think what he did intolerable at all, that I respected +him, and--but I did not dare to allow my thoughts to go any further. + +I even hated myself for being good-looking, until I suddenly +remembered that I had the same features as my father had. He had +conquered in all the battles in which he had borne part through his +life. My face must be a good one if it was like his. I would try to +live up to the character which my face seemed to express, and I would +immediately endeavour to get things on a different footing. + +Accordingly, the next day at breakfast I studiously avoided Mr. +Randolph, and I equally studiously avoided Mr. Fanning. The +consequence was that, being as it were between two fires, I had a most +uncomfortable time, for Mr. Randolph showed me by certain glances +which he threw in my direction that he was most anxious to consult me +about something, and Mr. Fanning seemed to intercept these glances, +and to make his own most unpleasant comments about them; and if Mr. +Fanning intercepted them, so did Mrs. and Miss Armstrong. + +Miss Armstrong had now given up Mr. Randolph as almost hopeless with +regard to a flirtation, and was turning her attention in the +direction of Mr. Fanning. She talked Art _at_ Mr. Fanning assiduously +all during breakfast, and having learned by some accident that he was +a publisher, boldly demanded from him if he would not like her to +illustrate some of his books. In reply to this he gave a profound bow, +and told her, with a certain awkward jerk of his body, that he never +gave orders in advance, that he never gave orders on the score of +friendliness, that when it came to the relations between publisher and +artist he was brutal. + +"That's the word for it, Miss Armstrong," he said, "I am brutal when +it comes to a bargain. I try to make the very best I can for myself. I +never think of the artist at all. I want all the _£ s d_ to go into my +own pocket"--and here he slapped his waistcoat loudly, and uttered a +harsh laugh, which showed all his broken teeth in a most disagreeable +manner. Miss Armstrong and her mother seemed to think he was excellent +fun, and Mrs. Armstrong said, with a quick glance first at Mr. +Randolph and then at me, that it was refreshing to hear any man so +frank, and that for her part she respected people who gave themselves +no h'airs. + +Breakfast came to an end, and I sought Jane in her sanctum. + +"Now, Jane," I said, "you must put away your accounts, you must cease +to think of housekeeping. You must listen to me." + +"What is it, Westenra?" she said. "Has anything vexed you?" she +continued; "sit down and tell me all about it." + +"Several things vex me," I answered. "Jane, we must come to an +understanding." + +"What about?" she asked in some alarm; "an understanding! I thought +that was all arranged when our legal agreement was drawn up." + +"Oh, I know nothing about lawyers nor about legal agreements," I +answered; "but, Jane, there are some things I cannot put up with, and +one of them is----" + +"I know," she answered; "Mr. Fanning." + +"He is horrible, hateful; he is going to make himself most hateful to +me. Jane, dear Jane, he must go." + +Jane looked puzzled and distressed. I expected her to say-- + +"He shall certainly go, my dear, I will tell him that his room is +required, and that he must leave at the end of the week." But on the +contrary she sighed. After a long pause she said-- + +"You want this house to be a success, I presume." + +"I certainly do, but we cannot have it a success on the present +arrangement. Mr. Fanning must go, and also Mr. Randolph." + +"Mr. Randolph, Mr. James Randolph!" said Jane, now colouring high, and +a sparkle of something, which seemed to be a curious mixture of fear +and indignation, filling her eyes. "And why should he go? You do not +know what you are talking about." + +"I do. He must go. Ask--ask Mrs. Furlong. They talk about him here, +these hateful people; they put false constructions on his kindness; I +know he is kind and he is a gentleman, but he does me harm, Jane, even +as much harm as that horrible Mr. Fanning." + +"Now, look here, Westenra Wickham," said Jane Mullins. "Are you going +to throw up the sponge, or are you not?" + +"Throw up the sponge! I certainly don't mean to fail." + +"You will do so if you send those two men out of the house. If you +cannot hold your own, whatever men come here, you are not the girl I +took you for. As to Mr. Randolph, be quite assured that he will never +do anything to annoy you. If people talk let them talk. When they see +nothing comes of their idle silly gossip, they will soon cease to +utter it. And as to Mr. Fanning, they will equally cease to worry +about him. If he pays he must stay, for as it is, it is difficult to +let the first-floor rooms. People don't want to pay five guineas a +week to live in Bloomsbury, and he has a small room; and it is a great +relief to me that he should be here and pay so good a sum for his +room. The thing must be met commercially, or I for one give it up." + +"You, Jane, you! then indeed we shall be ruined." + +"I don't really mean to, my dear child, I don't mean for a single +moment to desert you; but I must say that if 17 Graham Square is to go +on, it must go on commercial principles; and we cannot send our best +boarders away. You ask me coolly, just because things are a little +uncomfortable for you, you ask me to dismiss ten guineas a week, for +Mr. Randolph pays five guineas for his room, and Mr. Fanning five +guineas for his, and I don't know any other gentleman who would pay an +equal sum, and we must have it to balance matters. What is to meet the +rent, my dear? What is to meet the taxes? What is to meet the +butcher's, the baker's, the grocer's, the fishmonger's bills if we +dismissed our tenants. I often have a terrible fear that we were rash +to take a great expensive house like this, and unless it is full from +attic to drawing-room floor, we have not the slightest chance of +meeting our expenses. Even then I fear!--but there I won't croak +before the time; only, Westenra, you have to make up your mind. You +can go away on a visit if you wish to, I do not counsel this for a +moment, for I know you are a great attraction here. It is because you +are pretty and wear nice dresses, and look different from the other +boarders, that you attract them; and--yes, I will say it--Mr. Randolph +also attracts them. They can get no small change out of Mr. James +Randolph, so they need not try it on, but once for all we cannot +decline the people who are willing to pay us good money, that is a +foregone conclusion. Now you have got to accept the agreeables with +the disagreeables, or this whole great scheme of yours will tumble +about our heads like a pack of cards." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +THE UGLY DRESS + + +On that very day I searched through mother's wardrobe and found a +piece of brown barége. It was a harsh and by no means pretty material. +I held it up to the light, and asked her what she was going to do with +it. + +"Nothing," she answered, "I bought it ten years ago at a sale of +remnants, and why it has stuck to me all these years is more than I +can tell." + +"May I have it?" was my next query. + +"Certainly," replied mother, "but you surely are not going to have a +dress made of that ugly thing?" + +"May I have it?" I asked again. + +"Yes, dear, yes." + +I did not say any more with regard to the barége. I turned the +conversation to indifferent matters, but when I left the room I took +it with me. I made it into a parcel and took it out. I went to a +little dressmaker in a street near by. I asked her if she would make +the ugly brown barége into an evening dress. She measured the +material, and said it was somewhat scanty. + +"That does not matter," I said, "I _want_ an ugly dress--can you +manage to make a really ugly dress for me out of it?" + +"Well, Miss Wickham," she replied, fixing her pale brown eyes on my +face, "I never do go in for making ugly dresses, it would be against +my profession. You don't mean it, do you, Miss Wickham?" + +"Put your best work into it," I said, suddenly changing my tone. "Make +it according to your own ideas of the fashion. Picture a young girl +going to a play, or a ball, in that dress, and make it according to +your own ideas." + +"May I trim it with golden yellow chiffon and turquoise blue silk +bows?" she asked eagerly, her eyes shining. + +"You may," I replied, suppressing an internal shudder. I gave her a +few further directions; she named a day when I should come to be +fitted, and I went home. + +In less than a week's time the brown barége arrived back, ready for me +to wear. It was made according to Annie Starr's ideas of a fashionable +evening gown. It was the sort of garment which would have sent the +Duchess or Lady Thesiger into fits on the spot. In the first place, +the bodice was full of wrinkles, it was too wide in the waist, and too +narrow across the chest, but this was a small matter to complain of. +It was the irritating air of vulgarity all over the dress which was so +hard to bear. But, notwithstanding all these defects, it pleased me. +It would, I hoped, answer my purpose, and succeed in making me appear +very unattractive in the eyes of Mr. Randolph. + +That evening I put on the brown barége for dinner. The yellow chiffon +and the turquoise blue bows were much in evidence, and I did really +feel that I was a martyr when I went downstairs in that dress with its +_outré_ trimmings. + +When I entered the drawing-room, mother glanced up at me as if she did +not know me; she then started, the colour came into her face, and she +motioned me imperatively to her side. + +"Go upstairs at once and take that off," she said. + +"Oh no, mother," I answered, "there is no time now, besides I--I chose +it, I admire it." + +"Take it off immediately, Westenra." + +"But it is your dear barége that you have kept for ten years," I said, +trying to be playful; "I must wear it, at least to-night." + +I knew that I had never looked worse, and I quite gloried in the fact. +I saw Mr. Randolph from his seat near mother glance at me several +times in a puzzled way, and Mr. Fanning, after one or two astonished +glances, during which he took in the _tout ensemble_ of the ugly robe, +began to enter into a playful bear-like flirtation with Miss +Armstrong. Dear brown barége, what service it was doing me! I secretly +determined that it should be my dinner dress every evening until it +wore itself to rags. When the turquoise blue bows became too shabby, +I might substitute them for magenta ones. I felt that I had suddenly +found an opening out of my difficulty. If I ceased to appear +attractive, Mr. Randolph and Mr. Fanning would cease to worry me, the +rest of the boarders would accept me for what I was, and my Gordian +knot would be cut. Little did I guess! It was by no means so easy to +carry out my fixed determination as I had hoped. In the first place, +poor darling mother nearly fretted herself into an illness on account +of my evening dress. She absolutely cried when she saw me in it, and +said that if I was determined to deteriorate in that way, she would +give up the boarding-house and go to the cottage in the country +without a moment's hesitation. After wearing the dress for three or +four days I was forced, very much against my will, to put on one of my +pretty black dresses, and the barége made by Annie Starr resumed its +place in my wardrobe. I determined to wear it now and then, +however--it had already done me good service. I began to hope that +neither Mr. Randolph nor Mr. Fanning thought me worth looking at when +I appeared in it. + +On this evening, as I was dressing for dinner, I heard a wonderful +bumping going on in the stairs. It was the noise made by very heavy +trunks, trunks so large that they seemed scarcely able to be brought +upstairs. They were arriving at the attics, too--they were entering +the attic next to mine. Now that special attic had up to the present +remained untenanted. It was the most disagreeable room in the house. +Most of the attics were quite excellent, but this room had a decidedly +sloping roof, and rather small windows, and the paper on the walls was +ugly, and the accommodation scanty, and what those huge boxes were +going to do there was more than I could tell. The boxes, however, +entered that special attic, and then a bodily presence followed them +briskly, a loud hearty voice was heard to speak. It said in cheerful +tones-- + +"Thank you, that will do nicely. A large can of hot water, please, and +a couple more candles. Thanks. What hour did you say the company +dined?" + +The reply was made in a low tone which I could not catch, and the +attic door was shut. + +I was down in the drawing-room in my black dress--(how comfortable I +felt in it, how hateful that brown barége was, after all)--when the +door was opened, and a large, stoutly-made woman, most richly dressed, +came in. She had a quantity of grizzly grey hair, which was turned +back from her expansive forehead; a cap of almost every colour in the +rainbow bedizened her head, she wore diamond pendants in her ears, and +had a flashing diamond brooch fastening the front of her dress. Her +complexion was high, she had a broad mouth and a constant smile. She +walked straight up to Jane Mullins. + +"Well," she said, "here I am. I have not unpacked my big trunk, as +your servant said there was very little time before dinner. Please can +you tell me when Albert will be in?" + +"Mr. Fanning generally comes home about now," I heard Jane say. "Mrs. +Fanning, may I introduce you to my dear young friend, Miss +Wickham--Mrs. Wickham has not yet appeared." + +To my horror I saw Miss Mullins advancing across the drawing-room, +accompanied by the stout woman; they approached to my side. + +"May I introduce Mrs. Fanning," said Miss Mullins--"Mr. Fanning's +mother." + +"The mother of dear, godly Albert," said the stout lady. "I am proud +to say I am the mother of one of the best of sons. I am right pleased +to meet you, Miss Wickham. I may as well say at once that Albert +Fanning, my dear and only son, has mentioned your name to me, and with +an approval which would make your young cheeks blush. Yes, I am the +last person to encourage vanity in the young, but I must repeat that +if you knew all that Albert has said, you would feel that flutter of +the heart which only joy brings forth. Now, shall we both sit in a +cosy corner and enjoy ourselves, and talk about Albert until dinner is +ready?" + +This treat was certainly not likely to cause my young cheeks to blush. +On the contrary, I felt myself turning pale, and I looked round with a +desperate intention of flying to Jane for protection, when the stout +lady took one of my hands. + +"Ah," she said, "quite up to date, a slim young hand, and a slim young +figure, and a slim young face, too, for that matter. All that Albert +says is true, you are a _very_ nice-looking girl. I should not say +that you had much durance in you, that remains to be proved. But come, +here's a cosy corner, I have a great deal to say." + +That hand of Mrs. Fanning's had a wonderfully clinging effect; it +seemed to encircle my fingers something like an octopus, and she +pulled me gently towards the corner she had in view, and presently had +pinned me there, seating herself well in front of me, so that there +was no possible escape. + +The rest of the boarders now entered the drawing-room. Mother amongst +others made her appearance; she went to her accustomed corner, glanced +at me, saw that I was in one of my black dresses, nodded approval, +concluding in her dear mind that I had probably met some old friend in +the extraordinary person who was shutting me into the corner, and took +no further notice. + +Captain and Mrs. Furlong were well pleased to see that I was only +talking to a woman, it did not matter at all to them who that woman +was. And as to me I sat perfectly silent while Mrs. Fanning discoursed +on Albert. She never for a single moment, I will say for her, turned +the conversation into another channel. Albert was her theme, and she +stuck to him with the pertinacity which would have done any leader of +a debate credit. The debate was Albert. She intended before dinner was +announced to give me a true insight into that remarkable man's most +remarkable character. + +"Yes," she said, "what Albert thinks is always to the point. Since a +child he never gave me what you would call a real heartache. +Determined, self-willed he is; you look, the next time you see him, at +his chin, you observe the cleft in the middle; there never was a chin +like that yet without a mind according--a mind, so to speak, set on +the duty ahead of it--a mind that is determined to conquer. That is +Albert, that is my only, godly son. You observe, when you have an +opportunity, Albert's eyes. Did you ever see anything more open than +the way they look at you? He don't mind whether it hurts your feelings +or not; if he wants to look at you, look he will." + +When she said this I nodded my head emphatically, for I had found this +most disagreeable trait in Albert's eyes from the first moment I had +been unfortunate enough to make his acquaintance. But Mrs. Fanning +took my nod in high good humour. + +"Ah, you have observed it," she said, "and no wonder, no wonder. Now, +when you get an opportunity, do pull him to pieces, feature by +feature; notice his brow, how lofty it is; there's talent there, and +t'aint what you would call a fly-away talent, such as those art +talents that make me quite sick. He has no talent, thank Heaven, for +painting or for poetry, or for any fal-lal of that kind, his talent +lies in a sound business direction. Oh, he has made me roar, the way +he talks of young authors and young artists, how they come to him with +their wares, and how he beats them down. It's in Albert's brow where +his talent for business lies. You mark his nose too, it's somewhat +long and a little pointed, but it's the nose of a man who will make +his mark; yes, he'll make his mark some day, and I have told him so +over and over." + +Having gone through all Albert's features, she next proceeded to +describe Albert's character, and then went on to Albert's future. From +this it was an easy step to Albert's wife, and Albert's wife took up a +great deal of the good woman's attention. + +"It is because I am thinking he'll soon be falling into the snares of +matrimony that I have come to stay at 17 Graham Square," continued +Mrs. Fanning. "And it's because I want my dear and godly son to get a +wife who will be on the pattern of Solomon's virtuous woman that I +have given up my home and broken up my establishment and come here. +Now, Miss Wickham, my dear young lady, did you or did you not hear the +noise of my boxes being brought upstairs?" + +"I certainly did," I replied. + +"Then you happen to occupy the bedroom next to mine?" + +"I do," I said. + +"That is very nice indeed, for often of an evening we will keep each +other company and discourse on Albert, to the joy of both our hearts. +The boxes are receptacles for my household gods, dear, those dear +mementoes of the past, that I could not quite part with. Don't suppose +for a moment that they are full of dresses, for although my taste is +light and festive, Albert likes gay colours, he says they remind him +of the sales of remnants in the autumn. Dear fellow, it was the most +poetical thing he ever uttered, but he has said it once or twice. I +can show you my household treasures when you feel disposed to have an +evening's real recreation. The burden of this house, and with so +delicate a mother as your good Ma, must be heavy upon a young lass +like you, but Albert tells me--but there! I won't say any more just +now, for you'll blush, and I don't want you to blush, and I don't want +to encourage those hopes that may never be realised. I may as well +whisper, though, that Albert is looking out for a wife who will be a +pattern of Solomon's virtuous woman, and when he finds her, why she'll +be lucky, that's all I can say." + +Just then the pretty silver gong sounded, and people began to stand up +preparatory to going down to dinner. It was difficult even then to +move Mrs. Fanning, and for a wild moment I had a fear that I might be +imprisoned behind her in the drawing-room all during dinner, while she +still discoursed upon Albert and his attractions. Miss Mullins, +however, came to the rescue. + +"Come, Miss Wickham," she cried, "we must lead the way," and +accordingly Jane, my mother, and I went down first, and the different +boarders followed us. + +To my infinite distress Mrs. Fanning, being a complete stranger, had +her seat next mine. I had one comfort, however, she was better than +Albert; and Albert, who arrived presently himself, found that he was +seated next Miss Armstrong. He nodded across at his mother. + +"How do, old lady," he said, "glad to find you cosily established; +everything all right, eh?" + +"Yes, Albert, my son," replied the good woman, "everything is all +right, and I have been having a long conversation about you with my +interesting young friend here, Miss Westenra Wickham. By-the-by, dear, +would you kindly tell me how you got that outlandish name, I never +heard it before, and I do not believe it belongs to the Christian +religion." + +"I did not know there was anything heathenish about it," I could not +help answering; "it happens to be my name, and I was fully baptized by +it." + +"I will see presently whether I can take to it," responded the old +lady. "Soup? Yes, please. I will trouble you, my good girl, for +(turning to the maid) a table-spoon; I never take soup with a dessert +spoon. Thanks; that's better." + +Mrs. Fanning now gave me a few moments peace, and I found, to my great +satisfaction, that she had an excellent appetite, and was also +extremely critical with regard to her food. I introduced her to her +next door neighbour, who happened to be a fat little woman, something +like herself in build. They were both gourmands, and criticised +adversely the meal to their mutual pleasure. Thus I had time to look +around me, and to consider this new aspect of affairs. Things were +scarcely likely to be more comfortable if Albert had now got his +mother to plead his cause with me. He glanced at me several times +during the meal, and once even favoured me with a broad wink--he was +really intolerable. + +Meanwhile Miss Armstrong was all blushes and smirks. I heard her +suggest to Mr. Fanning that she should go the next day to see him, and +bring some of her drawings with her, and I heard him tell her in what +he was pleased to call his brutal manner that he would not be at home, +and if he were and she came would certainly not see her. This seemed +to be considered a tremendous joke by Miss Armstrong, and her mother +also joined in it, and gave Mr. Fanning a dig in the ribs, and told +him that he was the soul of wit, and had the true spirit of heart. + +Meanwhile, Mr. Randolph, my mother, Captain and Mrs. Furlong, and the +more refined portion of the establishment enjoyed themselves at the +other end of the table. I saw Mr. Randolph glance down in my direction +once or twice, and I am sure, although he was not able to judge of the +difference, the fact of seeing me once more in my properly made black +evening dress relieved his mind, for he looked quite contented, and +turned in a cheerful manner to my mother, and when dinner was over, +and we returned to the drawing-room, I was lucky enough to be able to +escape Mrs. Fanning and to go up to the other end of the room, where I +seated myself close to mother, took hold of her hand, leant against +her chair, and indulged in the luxury of talking to Mr. Randolph. He +was in a very good humour, and suggested that we should make a party +on the following evening to another play, which was then very much in +vogue. + +"But not in the chocolate-coloured brougham with the pair of horses," +I said. + +"We will have a cab from the nearest stand, if you prefer it," was his +instant response. + +"I should much," I answered. + +"And we will not dine at the Cecil," he continued; "we can have a sort +of high tea here before we start." + +"That I should also like infinitely better," I answered. + +"It shall be as you please," was his response. Then he began to tell +us something of the play which we were about to see, and I forgot all +about my discomforts, and enjoyed myself well. + +I was putting things in order in the drawing-room that night, for this +was always one of my special duties, when Mr. Fanning, who had left +the room a long time ago, came back. He came up to me holding his +lighted candle in his hand. I started when I saw him. + +"Good night," I said coldly. + +"Pray don't go for a moment," he said. "I have come back here on the +express chance of seeing you." + +"I cannot wait now, Mr. Fanning," I replied. + +"But I really must have an interview with you, it is of the highest +importance,--when can I see you alone? When can you give me an hour of +your time quite undisturbed?" + +"Never," I answered brusquely. + +"Now you will forgive me for saying that that is pure nonsense. If you +will not promise me an hour of your own free will I shall take the +present opportunity of speaking to you." + +"But I shall not stay," I answered with spirit, "and you cannot keep +me here against my will. Mr. Fanning, I also will take the present +opportunity of telling you that you and I have nothing in common, that +I dislike your singling me out for special conversations of any kind, +and that I hope in the future you will clearly understand that I do +not wish you to do so." + +"Oh, that is all very fine," he said, "but come now; what have I done +to make myself obnoxious? There is the old lady upstairs, she has +taken no end of a fancy to you, she says you are the most charming and +the prettiest girl she has ever seen, and what have you to say against +my mother? Let me tell you that she has come to this house on purpose +to make your acquaintance." + +"I have nothing whatever to say against your mother, Mr. Fanning, but +I object to the subject of conversation which she chooses to occupy +her time with while talking to me. I am not in the least interested in +you, and I wish you and your mother clearly to understand this fact as +quickly as possible." + +I do not think it was in the nature of Mr. Fanning ever to look +crestfallen, or my present speech might have made him do so. He did +not even change colour, but he looked at me out of those eyes which +his mother had so vividly described, and after a moment said softly-- + +"There will come a day when you will regret this. An honest heart is +offered to you and you trample it in the dust, but there will come a +day when you will be sorry. How do you think this establishment is +working?" + +I was so astonished and relieved at his change of conversation that I +said-- + +"It seems to be going very well, don't you think so?" + +"It is going well for my purpose," he replied, and then he added, "it +is working itself out in a way that will only spell one word--RUIN. +Now you ponder on that. Take it as your night-cap, and see what sort +of sleep you'll have, and when next I ask for a few moments' +conversation perhaps you'll not say no. I will not keep you any longer +for the present." + +He left the room, I heard his footsteps dying down the corridor, and +the next instant he had slammed his bedroom door. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +ANXIETY + + +After he had left me, and I was quite certain that I should not see +him again that night, I went straight to Jane Mullins' room. Jane was +generally up the last in the house, and I had not the slightest doubt +I should still find her in her dinner dress, and ready for +conversation. I had bidden mother good night long ago, and hoped she +was sound asleep, but I did not mind disturbing Jane. I opened the +door now and went in. As I expected, Jane was up; she was seated by +the fire, she was looking into its depths, and did not turn round at +once when I entered. The first thing she did when she became aware of +the fact that there was some one else in the room besides herself, was +to sigh somewhat deeply. Then she said in a low voice-- + +"What if it all turns out a mistake?" and then she jumped to her feet +and confronted me. "Yes, dear, yes," she said. "Oh, my dear Westenra, +why aren't you in bed? It is very bad indeed for young people to be up +so late. You will get quite worn and wrinkled. Let me tell you, my +love, that we can never get youth back again, and we ought to prize it +while we have it. How old are you, Westenra, my love?" + +"I shall be twenty-two my next birthday," was my answer. + +"Ah, yes, yes, quite young, in the beautiful prime of youth. +Nevertheless, the bloom can be rubbed off, and then--well, it never +comes back, dear. But go to bed, Westenra, don't stay up bothering +your head. I see by that frown between your brows that you are going +to say something which I would rather not listen to. Don't tell me +to-night, Westenra, love." + +"I must tell you," I answered. "I have come to see you for the +purpose. You are old enough, Jane, to bear the little disagreeable +things I tell you now and then. You are our mainstay, our prop, in +this establishment. I cannot go on without confiding in you, and you +must listen to me." + +"Well, child, sit down, here is a comfortable chair." Jane got up and +offered me her own chair. I did not take it. + +"What nonsense," I said, "sit down again. Here, this little hassock at +your feet will suit me far better." + +I seated myself as I spoke, and laid my hand across Jane's knee. + +"Now, that is cosy," I said. She touched my arm as though she loved to +touch it, and then she laid her firm, weather-beaten hand on my +shoulder, and then, as if impelled by an unwonted impulse, she bent +forward and kissed me on my cheek. + +"You are a very nice girl. Since I knew you life has been far +pleasanter to me," said Jane Mullins. "I thank you for giving me a bit +of love. Whatever happens I want you to remember that." + +"I do," I answered; "you have very little idea how much I care for +you, Jane, and how immensely I respect you. There are, I think, very +few women who would have acted as you have done. I am fully convinced +there is a mystery in all your actions which has not yet been +explained to me, but I have not come here to-night to talk about that. +I have come here to ask you one or two questions, and to tell you one +or two things, and my first question is this--Why were you sighing +when I came in, and why did you murmur to yourself, 'What if it all +turns out a mistake?' Will you explain those words, Jane." + +"No," replied Jane stoutly, "for you were eavesdropping when you heard +them, and there is no reason why I should explain what you had no +right to listen to." + +"Thank you; you have answered me very sensibly, and I won't say +another word on the subject of your sigh and your remarkable speech. +But now to turn to the matter which has brought me to your room so +late in the evening." + +"Well, dear, it is past midnight, and you know how early I am up. It +is a little unreasonable of you; what has brought you, darling?" + +"Mr. Fanning has brought me." + +"Oh dear, oh dear, that tiresome man again," said Miss Mullins. + +"You don't like him yourself, do you, Jane?" + +"It is a great pity he is not different," said Jane, "for he is +extremely well off." + +"O Jane! pray don't talk nonsense. Do you suppose that a person with +the name of Fanning could have any interest whatever for me? Now, +please, get that silly idea out of your head once for all." + +"Oh, as far as any use that there is in it, I have long ago got it out +of my head," replied Jane; "but the thing to be considered is this, +that he has not got it out of his head--nor has his mother--and that +between them they can make things intensely disagreeable. Now, if Mr. +Randolph was going to stay here, I should not have an anxious moment." + +"What do you mean?" I cried; "is Mr. Randolph going away?" A deep +depression seemed suddenly to come over me; I could not quite account +for it. + +"He is, dear; and it is because he must be absent for two or three +months that I am really anxious. He will come back again; but sudden +and important news obliges him to go to Australia. He is going in a +fortnight, and it is that that frets him. You will be left to the +tender mercies of Mr. Fanning and Mrs. Fanning, and you have got so +much spirit you are sure to offend them both mortally, and then they +will leave, and--oh dear, I do think that things are dark. My dear +Westenra, I often wonder if we shall pull through after all." + +"That is what I want to speak to you about," I answered. "Mr. Fanning +came into the drawing-room just now, and was very rude and very unlike +a gentleman. I was alone there, and he said he had something to say to +me in private, and, of course, I refused to listen. He wanted to +insist on my granting him an interview, and said that he could compel +me to listen if he chose. Think of any gentleman speaking like that!" + +"They don't mind what they say, nor what they do, when they're in +love," muttered Jane. + +"I won't allow you to say that," I answered, springing to my feet; +"the man is intolerable. Jane, he must go; there is no help for it." + +"He must stay, dear, and I cannot disclose all my reasons now." + +I stood clasping and unclasping my hands, and staring at Jane. + +"You knew beforehand, did you not, Westenra, that there would be +disagreeables connected with this scheme?" + +"Of course I knew it; but I never did think that the disagreeables +would resolve themselves into Mr. Fanning." + +"We never know beforehand where the shoe is going to pinch," remarked +Jane in a sententious voice. + +"Well, I have something else to say," I continued. "Mr. Fanning was +not only very unpleasant to me, but he told me something which I can +scarcely believe. He said that our boarding-house, which seemed to be +going so well, was not going well at all. He said there was only one +word to spell how it was going, and that word was RUIN. O Jane! it +can't be true?" + +"Let us hope not," said Jane, but she turned very white. "I will tell +you one thing, Westenra," she continued. "If you don't want to have +utter ruin you must go on behaving as nicely as ever you can, bearing +with every one, being gentle and considerate, and trying to make every +one happy. And in especial, you must bear with Mr. Fanning and with +Mrs. Fanning; you must be particularly civil to them both, for if they +go others will go; and whatever happens, Westenra, remember your +mother is not to be worried. I know what I am saying, your mother is +not to be worried. Your mother must never guess that things are not as +right as they should be. When Mr. Randolph comes back everything will +be right, but during his absence we will have to go through rather a +tight place; and Albert Fanning is the sort of person who might take +advantage of us, and what you must do, my dear girl, is to be +guileful." + +"Guileful!" I cried; "never." + +"But you must, my love, you must be guileful and wary; you need not +give him a single straw to go upon, but at the same time you must be +civil. There now, that is all I can tell you for the present. Go to +bed, child, for I have to do the daily accounts, and must be up at six +in the morning. It's that new cook, she frets me more than I can say, +she don't do things proper; and I noticed that Mrs. Fanning sniffed at +her soup instead of eating it this evening, and the turbot was not as +fresh as it ought to be. Go to bed, Westenra, go to bed." + +I left the room. There was no use in staying any longer with Jane. She +certainly had not reassured me. She seemed puzzled and anxious about +the establishment; and why were not things going well? And what had +Mr. Fanning to do with it; and why, why was Mr. Randolph going away? + +The next morning after breakfast I went into the drawing-room for my +usual task of dusting and arranging the furniture and refilling the +vases with fresh flowers, when Mr. Randolph suddenly came in. + +"It will be best for you and Mrs. Wickham to meet me at the Criterion +to-night," he said. "As you won't give me the opportunity of offering +you dinner at the Cecil, that seems the next best thing to do. I have +got a box in a good part of the house, so we need not be there more +than a few minutes before it commences. I shall meet you at the +entrance and conduct you to your seats." + +His manner showed some excitement, quite out of keeping with his +ordinary demeanour, and I noticed that he scarcely glanced at me. His +face was somewhat worn, too, in expression, and although he generally +had himself in complete control, he now looked nearly as anxious and +worried as Jane herself. He scarcely waited for my compliance with the +arrangement he had proposed, but glancing at the door, spoke +abruptly-- + +"Something unexpected and very grievous has occurred, and I am obliged +to leave England by the _Smyrna_, which sails on Saturday week." + +"Miss Mullins told me last night that you were going away," I replied. +I also now avoided looking at him. I was playing with some large +sprays of mimosa which had been sent in from the market. To my dying +day I shall never forget how that mimosa seemed to slip about, and +would not get into the best position in the vase in which I was +placing it. + +"Effective," he said, as he watched my movements, "but it withers +quickly; it wants its native air." + +"I suppose so," I answered. + +"Have you ever seen it growing?" + +"No; I have never been to the South." + +"You have a good deal to see. I hope some day----" He broke off. + +"Where are you going when you do go away?" I asked. + +"To Sydney first, perhaps to Melbourne." + +"It will be nice for you to leave England during our unpleasant winter +weather." + +"There is nothing nice about my visit," he said; "I dislike going more +than I have any words to express. In particular, I am sorry to leave +your mother; but before I go I want"--he dropped his voice and came a +step nearer. + +"What?" I asked. + +"I am anxious that your mother should see a doctor--a specialist, I +mean. I am not satisfied with her condition." + +"But mother is really quite well," I said impulsively. "You have not +known her long, Mr. Randolph; she never was really strong. She is +quite as well as she ever was." + +"A specialist could assure us on that point, could he not?" was his +reply. "I want Dr. Reade to give me a diagnosis of her case." + +"Dr. Reade," I cried. + +"Yes; I should like her to see him between now and the day when I must +leave England. I cannot possibly be back under from four to five +months, and if my mind can be relieved of a very pressing anxiety, you +would not deny me the satisfaction, would you?" + +"But why should your mind be anxious?" I asked boldly. I looked full +into his face as I spoke, and then I met a look which caused me to +turn faint, and yet to feel happy, as I had never felt happy before. +I lowered my eyes and looked out of the window. He gave a quick sigh, +and then said suddenly-- + +"How like your father you are." + +"My father? But you never knew him." + +"I never knew him, but I have often looked at his picture. Can you +tell me how he won his V.C.?" + +"Saving a comrade, bringing one of his brother officers out of the +thick of the fight; he received his own fatal wound in doing so. He +did not survive the action two months." + +"A fine fellow! A splendid action," said Mr. Randolph, enthusiasm in +his voice. "You will think over what I have said, and I will not keep +you now. We shall meet at the Criterion this evening. Good-bye for the +present." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +DR. READE + + +I cannot recall anything about the play. I only know that we had +excellent seats and a good view of the house, and that mother seemed +to enjoy everything. As to Mr. Randolph, I doubt if he did enjoy that +play. He was too much a man of the world to show any of his emotions, +but I saw by a certain pallor round his mouth, and a rather dragged +look about his eyes, that he was suffering, and I could not imagine +why. I had always in my own mind made up a sort of story about Jim +Randolph. He was one of the fortunate people of the earth; the good +things of the world had fallen abundantly to his share. He was nice to +look at and pleasant to talk to, and of course he had plenty of money. +He could do what he pleased with his life. I had never associated him +with sorrow or trial of any sort, and to see that look now in his eyes +and round the corners of his somewhat sensitive and yet +beautifully-cut mouth, gave me a new sensation with regard to him. The +interest I felt in him immediately became accelerated tenfold. I found +myself thinking of him instead of the play. I found myself anxious to +watch his face. I even found, when once our eyes met (his grave and +dark, mine, I daresay, bold enough and determined enough), that my +heart beat fast, and the colour flew into my face; then, strange to +say, the colour came into his face, dying his swarthy cheek just for a +moment, but leaving it the next paler than ever. He came a little +nearer to me, however, and bending forward so that mother should not +hear, said in a semi-whisper-- + +"You have thought about what I said this morning?" + +"I have thought it over a good deal," I replied. + +"You think it can be managed?" + +"Dr. Anderson, mother's family physician, would do what you require, +Mr. Randolph." + +"That is a good idea," he said. "Anderson can arrange a consultation. +I will see him to-morrow, and suggest it." + +I did not say any more, for just then mother turned and said something +to Mr. Randolph, and Mr. Randolph bent forward and talked to mother in +that worshipping son-like way with which he generally addressed her. +If mother had ever been blessed with a son, he could not have been +more attentive nor sweeter than Jim Randolph was, and I found myself +liking him more than ever, just because he was so good to mother, and +my heart ached at the prospect of his enforced and long absence. So +much did this thought worry me, that I could not help saying to him +as we were leaving the theatre-- + +"I am very sorry that you are going." + +"Is that true?" he said. His face lit up, his eyes sparkled; all the +tired expression left his eyes and mouth. + +"Are you saying what you mean?" he asked. + +"I am most truly sorry. You have become indispensable to mother; she +will miss you sorely." + +"And you--will you miss me?" + +I tried to say "For mother's sake I will," but I did not utter the +words. Mr. Randolph gave me a quick glance. + +"I have not told your mother yet that I am going," he said. + +"I wondered if you had," I replied. "I thought of telling her myself +to-day." + +"Do not say anything until nearer the time," was his somewhat guarded +response. "Ah! here comes the carriage." + +"So you did order the carriage after all," I said, seeing that the +same neat brougham which he had used on the last occasion stopped the +way. + +"You never forbade me to see you both home in the carriage," he said +with a laugh. "Now then, Mrs. Wickham." + +Mother had been standing a little back out of the crowd. He went to +her, gave her his arm, and she stepped into the carriage, just as if +it belonged to her. Mother had always that way with Mr. Randolph's +possessions, and sometimes her manner towards him almost annoyed me. +What could it mean. Did she know something about him which I had never +heard of nor guessed? + +The next day about noon Mr. Randolph entered Jane's sitting-room, +where I often spent the mornings. + +"I have just come from Anderson's," he said. "He will make an +appointment with Dr. Reade to see your mother to-morrow." + +"But on what plea?" I asked. "Mother is somewhat nervous. I am sure it +would not be at all good for her to think that her indisposition was +so great that two doctors must see her." + +"Anderson will arrange that," replied Mr. Randolph. "He has told your +mother once or twice lately that he thinks her very weak, and would +like her to try a new system of diet. Now Reade is a great specialist +for diseases of the digestion. Both doctors will guard against any +possible shock to your mother." + +"Well," I said somewhat petulantly, "I cannot imagine why you are +nervous about her. She is quite as well as she ever was." + +He looked at me as if he meant to say something more, and I felt +certain that he strangled a sigh which never came to the surface. The +next moment he left the room, I looked round me in a state of +bewilderment. + +In Jane's room was a bookcase, and the bookcase contained a +heterogeneous mass of books of all sorts. Amongst others was a medical +directory. I took it up now, and scarcely knowing why I did so, turned +to the name of Reade. Dr. Reade's name was entered in the following +way:-- + +"Reade, Henry, M.D., F.R.C.P., consulting physician to the Brompton +Hospital for Consumption, London, and to the Royal Hospital for +Diseases of the Chest, Ventnor." + +I read these qualifications over slowly, and put the book back in its +place. There was nothing whatever said of Dr. Reade's qualifications +for treating that vast field of indigestion to which so many sufferers +were victims. I resolved to say something to Jane. + +"What is it?" said Jane, as she came into the room. "What is fretting +you now?" + +"Oh, nothing," I answered. "Dr. Reade must be a very clever +physician." + +"First-class, of course. I am so pleased your mother is going to see +him." + +"But I thought mother was suffering very much from weakness and want +of appetite." + +"So she is, poor dear, and I am inventing quite a new sort of soup, +which is partly digested beforehand, that I think she will fancy." + +"But I have been looking up Dr. Reade's name. He seems to be a great +doctor for consumption and other diseases of the chest. There is no +allusion to his extraordinary powers of treating people for +indigestion." + +"Well, my dear, consumptives suffer more than most folks from +indigestion. Now, don't you worry your head; never meet troubles +half-way. I am extremely pleased that your mother is to see Dr. +Reade." + +On the following morning mother herself told me that Dr. Reade was +coming. + +"It is most unnecessary," she said, "and I told Dr. Anderson so. I was +only telling him yesterday that I thought his own visits need not be +quite so frequent. He is such a dear, kind man, that I do not like to +hurt his feelings; but really, Westenra, he charges me so little that +it quite goes to my heart. And now we have not our old income, this +very expensive consulting physician is not required. I told Dr. +Anderson so, but he has made up his mind. He says there is no use in +working in the dark, and that he believes I should be much stronger if +I ate more." + +Dr. Reade called in the course of the morning, and Dr. Anderson came +with him. They stayed in mother's room for some little time, and then +they both went out, and Jane Mullins had an interview with them first, +and then she sent for me. + +"Dr. Anderson wants to speak to you, Westenra," she said. She rushed +past me as she spoke, and I could not catch sight of her face, so I +went into her little sitting-room, where both the doctors were +waiting for me, and closed the door behind me. I was not at all +anxious. I quite believed that mother's ailment was simply want of +appetite and weakness, and I had never heard of any one dying just +from those causes. + +"Let me introduce you to Dr. Reade," said Dr. Anderson. + +I looked then towards the great consulting physician. He was standing +with his back to the light--he was a little man, younger looking than +Dr. Anderson. His hair was only beginning to turn grey, and was +falling away a trifle from his temples, and he was very upright, and +very thin, and had keen eyes, the keenest eyes I had ever looked at, +small, grey and bright, and those eyes seemed to look through you, as +though they were forcing a gimlet into the very secrets of your soul. +His face was so peculiar, so intellectual, so sharp and keen, and his +glance so vivid, that I became absorbed in looking at it, and forgot +for the moment Dr. Anderson. Then I glanced round and found that he +had vanished, and I was alone with Dr. Reade. + +"Won't you sit down, Miss Wickham?" he said kindly. + +I seated myself, and then seeing that his eyes were still on me, my +heart began to beat a little more quickly, and I began to feel +uncomfortable and anxious, and then I knew that I must brace myself +up to listen to something which would be hard to bear. + +"I was called in to-day," said Dr. Reade, "to see your mother. I have +examined her carefully--Dr. Anderson thinks that it may be best for +you Miss Wickham--you seem to be a very brave sort of girl--to know +the truth." + +"Yes, I should like to know the truth," I answered. + +I found these words coming out of my lips slowly, and I found I had +difficulty in saying them, and my eyes seemed not to see quite so +clearly as usual; and Dr. Reade's keen face seemed to vanish as if +behind a mist, but then the mist cleared off, and I remembered that I +was father's daughter and that it behoved me to act gallantly if +occasion should require, so I got up and went towards the little +doctor, and said in a quiet voice-- + +"You need not mind breaking it to me; I see by your face that you have +bad news, but I assure you I am not going to cry nor be hysterical. +Please tell me the truth quickly." + +"I knew you were a brave girl," he said with admiration, "and I have +bad news, your mother's case is----" + +"What?" I asked. + +"A matter of time," he replied gravely; "she may live for a few months +or a year--a year is the outside limit." + +"A few months or a year," I said. I repeated the words vaguely; and +then I turned my eyes towards the window and looked past it and out +into the Square. I saw a carriage drawn by a spirited pair of bays, it +passed within sight of the window, and I noticed a girl seated by +herself in the carriage. She had on a fashionable hat, and her hair +was arranged in a very pretty way, and she had laughing eyes. I was +attracted by her appearance, and I even said to myself in an uncertain +sort of fashion, "I believe I could copy that hat," but then I turned +away from the window and faced the doctor. + +"You are very brave," he repeated; "I did not think any girl would be +quite so brave." + +"My father was a brave man," I said then; "he won his Victoria Cross." + +"Ah," replied Dr. Reade, "women often do just as brave actions. Their +battles are silent, but none the less magnificent for that." + +"I always meant to get the Victoria Cross if I could," was my reply. + +"Well," he answered cheerfully, "I know now how to deal with things; I +am very glad that you are that sort. You know that Jim Randolph is a +friend of mine." + +It was on the tip of my tongue to say, Who is Jim Randolph? why should +he be a friend of everybody worth knowing? but I did not ask the +question. I put it aside and said gravely-- + +"The person I want to talk about is mother. In the first place, what +is the matter with her?" + +"A very acute form of heart disease. The aortic valve is affected. She +may not, and probably will not, suffer much; but at any moment, Miss +Wickham, at any moment, any shock may"--he raised his hand +emphatically. + +"You mean that any shock may kill her?" + +"That is what I mean." + +"Then she ought to be kept without anxiety?" + +"That is precisely what I intend." + +"And if this is done how long will her most precious life be +prolonged?" + +"As I have just said, a year is about the limit." + +"One year," I answered. "Does she know?" + +"No, she has not the slightest idea, nor do I want her to be told. She +is ready--would to God we were all as ready--why distress her +unnecessarily? She would be anxious about you if she thought she was +leaving you. It must be your province to give her no anxiety, to guard +her. That is an excellent woman, Miss Mullins, she will assist you in +every way. I am truly sorry that Jim Randolph has to leave England. +However, there is not the slightest doubt that he will hurry home, and +when he does come back, will be time sufficient to let your mother +know the truth." + +I did not answer. Dr. Reade looked at his watch. + +"I must be off," he said. "I can only spare one more moment. I have +made certain suggestions to my old friend Anderson, and he will +propose certain arrangements which may add to your mother's comfort. I +do not want her to go up and down stairs much, but at the same time +she must be entertained and kept cheerful. Be assured of one thing, +that in no case will she suffer. Now, I have told you all. If you +should be perplexed or in any difficulty come to me at once. Come to +me as your friend, and remember I am a very special friend of Jim +Randolph's. Now, good-bye." + +He left the room. + +I sat after he had gone for a moment without stirring; I was not +suffering exactly. We do not suffer most when the heavy blows fall, it +is afterwards that the terrible agony of pain comes on. Of course I +believed Dr. Reade--who could doubt him who looked into his face? I +guessed him to be what he was, one of the strongest, most faithful, +bravest men who ever lived--a man whose whole life was given up to the +alleviation of the suffering of others. He was always warding off +death, or doing all that man could do to ward it off, and in many many +cases death was afraid of him, and retired from his prey, vanquished +by that knowledge, that genius, that sympathy, that love for humanity, +which overflowed the little doctor's personality. + +Just then a hand touched me, and I turned and saw Jim Randolph. + +"You know?" he said. + +I nodded. Mr. Randolph looked at me very gravely. + +"My suspicions have been confirmed," he said; "I always guessed that +your mother's state of health was most precarious. I can scarcely +explain to you the intense pain I feel in leaving her now. A girl like +you ought to have some man at hand to help her, but I must go, there +is no help for it. It is a terrible trial to me. I know, Miss Wickham, +that you will guard your mother from all sorrows and anxieties, and so +cheer her passage from this world to the next. Her death may come +suddenly or gradually, there is just a possibility that she may know +when she is dying, and at such a time, to know also that you are +unprovided for, will give her great and terrible anxiety." Here he +looked at me as if he were anxious to say more, but he restrained +himself. "I cannot remove her anxiety, I must trust for the very best, +and you must wait and--and _trust me_. I will come back as soon as +ever I can." + +"But why do you go away?" I asked, "you have been kind--more than +kind--to her. O Mr. Randolph! do you think I have made a mistake, a +great mistake, in coming here?" + +"No," he said emphatically, "do not let that thought ever worry you, +you have done a singularly brave thing, you can little guess what +I--but there, I said I would not speak, not yet." He shut his lips, +and I noticed that drawn look round his eyes and mouth. + +"I must go and return as fast as I can," he said abruptly. "I set +myself a task, and I must carry it through to the bitter end. Only +unexpected calamity drives me from England just now." + +"You are keeping a secret from me," I said. + +"I am," he replied. + +"Won't you tell me--is it fair to keep me in the dark?" + +"It is perfectly fair." + +"Does Jane know?" + +"Certainly." + +"And she won't tell?" + +"No, she won't tell." + +"Does mother know?" + +"Yes, and no. She knows something but not all, by no means all." + +"It puzzles me more than I can describe," I continued. "Why do you +live in a place like this, why are you so interested in mother and in +me? Then, too, you are a special friend of the Duchess of Wilmot's, +who is also one of our oldest friends. You do not belong to the set of +people who live in boarding-houses. I wish, I do wish, you would be +open. It is unfair on me to keep me in the dark." + +"I will tell you when I return," he said, and his face was very white. +"Trust me until I return." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +GIVE ME YOUR PROMISE + + +That afternoon I went out late to do some commissions for Jane. I was +glad to be out and to be moving, for Dr. Reade's words kept ringing in +my ears, and by degrees they were beginning to hurt. I did not want +them to hurt badly until night, for nothing would induce me to break +down. I had talked to mother more cheerfully than ever that afternoon, +and made her laugh heartily, and put her into excellent spirits, and I +bought some lovely flowers for her while I was out, and a little +special dainty for her dinner. Oh, it would never do for mother to +guess that I was unhappy, but I could not have kept up with that +growing pain at my heart if it were not for the thought of night and +solitude, the long blessed hours when I might give way, when I might +let my grief, the first great grief of my life, overpower me. + +I was returning home, when suddenly, just before I entered the Square, +I came face to face with Mr. Randolph. He was hurrying as if to meet +me. When he saw me he slackened his steps and walked by my side. + +"This is very fortunate," he said. "I want to talk to you. Where can +we go?" + +"But it is nearly dinner-time," I answered. + +"That does not matter," he replied. "I have but a very few more days +in England. I have something I must say to you. Ah, here is the Square +garden open; we will go in." + +He seemed to take my assent for granted, and I did not at all mind +accompanying him. We went into the little garden in the middle of the +Square. In the midst of summer, or at most in early spring, it might +possibly have been a pleasant place, but now few words could explain +its dreariness. The damp leaves of late autumn were lying in sodden +masses on the paths. There was very little light too; once I slipped +and almost fell. My companion put out his hand and caught mine. He +steadied me and then dropped my hand. After a moment of silence he +spoke. + +"You asked me to-day not to go." + +"For mother's sake," I replied. + +"I want to tell you now that if I could stay I would; that it is very +great pain to me to go away. I think it is due to you that I should +give you some slight explanation. I am leaving England thus suddenly +because the friend who has helped Jane Mullins with a certain sum of +money, in order to enable her to start this boarding-house, has +suddenly heard that the capital, which he hoped was absolutely +secure, is in great danger of being lost. My friend has commissioned +me to see this matter through, for if his worst surmises are fulfilled +Miss Mullins, and you also, Miss Wickham, and of course your mother, +may find yourselves in an uncomfortable position. You remember +doubtless that Mr. Hardcastle would not let you the house if there had +not been some capital at the back of your proposal. Miss Mullins, who +had long wished for such an opportunity, was delighted to find that +she could join forces with you in the matter. Thus 17 Graham Square +was started on its present lines. Now there is a possibility that the +capital which Jane Mullins was to have as her share in this business +may not be forthcoming. It is in jeopardy, and I am going to Australia +in order to put things straight; I have every hope that I shall +succeed. You may rest assured that I shall remain away for as short a +time as possible. I know what grief you are in, but I hope to be back +in England soon." + +"Is that all you have to say to me?" I asked. + +"Not quite all. I am most anxious that while I am away, although you +are still kept in the dark, you should believe in me; I want you to +trust me and also my friend. Believe that his intentions are +honourable, are kind, are just, and that we are acting as we are doing +both for your sake and for your mother's and for Miss Mullins'. I know +that I ask quite a big thing, Miss Wickham; it is this--I ask you to +trust me in the dark." + +"It is a big thing and difficult," I replied. + +"Your mother does." + +"That is true, but mother would trust any one who had been as kind to +her as you have been." + +"Then will you trust me because your mother does? will you believe +that when I come back I shall be in a position to set all her fears +and yours also absolutely at rest? I am certain of this, I go away +with a hope which I dare not express more fully; I shall come back +trusting that that hope may be fulfilled in all its magnificence for +myself. I cannot say more at present. I long to, but I dare not. Will +you trust me? will you try to understand? Why, what is the matter?" + +He turned and looked at me abruptly. Quick sobs were coming from my +lips. I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my self-control. + +"I shall be all right in a minute," I said. "I have gone through much +to-day; it is--it is on account of mother. Don't--don't speak for a +moment." + +He did not, he stood near me. When I had recovered he said gently-- + +"Give me your promise. I wish I could say more, much, much more, but +will you trust me in the dark?" + +"I will," I replied. "I am sorry you are going. Thank you for being +kind to mother; come back when you can." + +"You may be certain on that point," he replied. "I leave England with +extreme unwillingness. Thank you for what you have promised." + +He held out his hand and I gave him mine. I felt my heart beat as my +hand lay for a moment in his, his fingers closed firmly over it, then +he slowly dropped it. We went back to the house. + +A few days afterwards Mr. Randolph went away. He went quite quietly, +without making the slightest commotion. He just entered the +drawing-room quickly one morning after breakfast, and shook hands with +mother and shook hands with me, and said that he would be back again +before either of us had missed him, and then went downstairs, and I +watched behind the curtain as his luggage was put on the roof of the +cab. I watched him get in. Jane Mullins was standing near. He shook +hands with her. He did not once glance up at our windows, the cab +rolled out of the Square and was lost to view. Then I turned round. +There were tears in mother's eyes. + +"He is the nicest fellow I have ever met," she said, "I am so very +sorry that he has gone." + +"Well, Mummy darling," I answered, "you are more my care than ever +now." + +"Oh, I am not thinking of myself," said mother. She looked up at me +rather uneasily. It seemed to me as if her eyes wanted to read me +through, and I felt that I did not want her to read me through; I did +not want any one to read what my feelings were that day. + +Jane Mullins came bustling up. + +"It is a lovely morning, and your mother must have a drive," she said. +"I have ordered a carriage. It will be round in half-an-hour. You and +she are to drive in the Park and be back in time for lunch, and see +here, Mrs. Wickham, I want you to taste this. I have made it from a +receipt in the new invalid cookery book. I think you will say that you +never tasted such soup before." + +"Oh, you quite spoil me, Jane," said mother, but she took the soup +which Jane had prepared so delicately for her, and I ran off, glad to +be by myself for a few moments. + +At dinner that day Mrs. Fanning and Mrs. Armstrong sat side by side. +Mrs. Fanning had taken a great fancy to Mrs. Armstrong, and they +usually during the meal sat with their heads bent towards one another, +talking eagerly, and often glancing in the direction of Albert Fanning +and Miss Armstrong and me. Mrs. Fanning had an emphatic way of bobbing +her head whenever she looked at me, and after giving me a steady +glance, her eyes involuntarily rolled round in the direction of Mr. +Fanning. + +I was so well aware of these glances that I now never pretended to see +them, but not one of them really escaped my notice. After dinner that +evening the good lady came up to my side. + +"Well, my dear, well," she said, "and how are you bearing up?" + +"Bearing up?" I answered, "I don't quite understand." + +Now of course no one in the boarding-house was supposed to know +anything whatever with regard to mother's health. The consultation of +the doctors had been so contrived that the principal boarders had been +out when it took place, therefore I knew that Mrs. Fanning was not +alluding to the doctors. She sat down near me. + +"Ah," she said, "I thought, and I told my dear son Albert, that a man +of that sort would not stay very long. You are bearing up, for you are +a plucky sort of girl, but you must be feeling it a good bit. I am +sorry for you, you have been a silly girl, casting your eyes at places +too high for you, and never seeing those good things which are laid so +to speak at your very feet. You are like all the rest of the world, +but if you think that my Albert will put up with other people's +leavings, you are finely mistaken." + +"Really, Mrs. Fanning," I answered, "I am completely at a loss to know +what you are talking about." + +Here I heard Mrs. Armstrong's hearty and coarse laugh in my ear. + +"Ha! ha!" said Mrs. Armstrong, "so she says she doesn't know. Well now +then, we won't allude any further to the subject. Of course it ain't +likely that she would give herself away. Few young ladies of the Miss +Westenra Wickham type do. Whatever else they don't hold with, they +hold on to their sinful pride, they quite forget that they are worms +of the dust, that their fall will come, and when it comes it's bitter, +that's what I say; that's what I have said to Marion, when Marion has +been a little put out, poor dear, with the marked and silly attentions +of one who never meant anything at all. It was only before dinner I +said to Marion, 'You wouldn't like to be in Miss Wickham's shoes +to-night, would you, Marion? You wouldn't like to be wearing the +willow, would you, my girl?' And she said no, she wouldn't, but then +she added, 'With my soul full of Art, mother, I always can have my +resources,' and that is where Marion believes, that if she were so +unlucky as to be crossed in love, she would have the advantage of you, +Miss Wickham, for you have plainly said that you have no soul for +h'Art." + +"All that talk of Art makes me downright sick," here interrupted Mrs. +Fanning. "That's where I admire you, Miss Wickham. You are very nice +to look at, and you have no nonsense about you, and it's my belief +that you never cared twopence about that high-falutin' young man, and +that now he has gone, you'll just know where your bread is buttered. +Sit along side of me, dear, and we will have a little discourse about +Albert, it's some time since we had a good round talk about my dear +and godly son." + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +A DASH OF ONIONS + + +It was about a fortnight later that one afternoon, soon after lunch, +Mrs. Fanning came into the drawing-room. She was somewhat +short-sighted, and she stood in the middle of the room, looking round +her. After a time, to my great horror, she caught sight of me. If I +had a moment to spare, I should have got behind the curtain, in order +to avoid her, but I had not that moment; she discovered her prey, and +made for me as fast as an arrow from a bow. + +"Ah," she said, "here you are; I am going out driving in Albert's +brougham this afternoon. You didn't know, perhaps, that Albert had a +brougham of his own?" + +"I did not," I answered. + +"It is a recent acquisition of his; he is becoming a wealthy man is +Albert, and he started the brougham a short time ago. He had the body +painted red and the wheels dark brown--I was for having the wheels +yellow, because I like something distinct, but Albert said, 'No, _she_ +would rather have dark brown.' Who do you think he meant by _she_, +now? That's the puzzle I am putting to you. Who do you think _she_ +is?" + +"You, of course," I answered boldly. + +Mrs. Fanning favoured me with a broad wink. + +"Ah now, that's very nice of you," she said, "but the old mother +doesn't come in anywhere when the young girl appears on the horizon. +It is about time for Albert to be meeting the young girl, and meet her +he will. Indeed, it is my opinion that he has met her, and that the +brougham which she likes is standing at the door. It is for the sake +of that young girl he has had those wheels painted brown, it is not +the wish of his old mother. But come for a drive with me, will you, +dear?" + +"I am sorry," I began. + +"Oh no, I am not going to take any refusal. Ah, there is your precious +dear mother coming into the room." + +Before I could interrupt her, Mrs. Fanning had gone to meet my mother. +She never walked in the ordinary sense of the word, she waddled. She +waddled now in her stiff brown satin across the drawing-room, and +stood before mother. + +"And how are you feeling this morning, Mrs. Wickham?" she said; "ah! +but poorly, I can tell by the look of your face, you are dreadfully +blue round the lips, it's the effect of indigestion, isn't it, now?" + +"I have suffered a good deal lately from indigestion," replied mother +in her gentle tones. + +"And a bad thing it is, a very bad thing," said Mrs. Fanning. "I cured +myself with Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. Did you ever try +'em, Mrs. Wickham?" + +"No," replied mother gravely. + +"Well, well, they pulled me round. Albert was terribly concerned about +me a year ago. I couldn't fancy the greatest dainties you could give +me, I turned against my food, and as to going upstairs, why, if you'll +believe me, I could have no more taken possession of that attic next +to your young daughter than I could have fled. Now there ain't a stair +in Britain would daunt me; I'd be good for climbing the Monument any +fine morning, and it's all owing to Williams' Pink Pills. They're a +grand medicine. But what I wanted to say to you now was this: May Miss +Wickham come for a drive with me in my son's own brougham? I am +anxious to have an outing with her, and I see by her face she is +desirous to come; may she? Say yes, madam; if you are wise, you will." + +I saw that mother was becoming a little excited and a little agitated, +and I knew that that would never do, so I said hastily-- + +"Don't worry mother, please, Mrs. Fanning; I will certainly come with +you for an hour or so." + +"We won't be back in an hour, dear," said Mrs. Fanning, "nor for two +hours; we are going to enjoy ourselves with a tea out. You'll spare +your daughter until she comes back, won't you, madam? I mean you won't +fret about her." + +I was just about absolutely to refuse, when Miss Mullins came into the +room. To my astonishment and disgust she came straight over to where +we were talking, and immediately took Mrs. Fanning's part. + +"Oh yes," she said, "you must not disappoint dear Mrs. Fanning, +Westenra; she was so looking forward to having a time out with you. Go +with her. As to your mother, I will look after her. I have nothing at +all to do this afternoon, and mean to go and sit with her in the +drawing-room, or rather to bring her into my private room, where we +will have a cosy tea to ourselves." + +There was no help for it. After Jane's treachery in siding with Mrs. +Fanning, I could only have refused by making a fuss, which would have +been extremely bad for mother, so I went upstairs and spent a little +time considering in which of my hats I looked worst, and which of my +jackets presented the most dowdy appearance. Alack and alas! I had no +dowdy jackets and no unbecoming hats. I put on, however, the quietest +I could find, and ran downstairs. Mrs. Fanning was waiting for me in +the hall. One of the servants of the establishment was standing near +with a heavy fur rug over her arm. Mrs. Fanning was attired in a huge +sealskin cape, which went down below her knees, and a bonnet with a +large bird of paradise perched on one side of the brim. She had a +veil, with huge spots on it, covering her broad face, and she was +drawing on a pair of gloves a great deal too small for her fat hands. + +"Here you are, Miss Wickham," she said; "now, then, we'll go. Open the +door, please, Emma." + +Emma did so, and we entered the carriage. + +"Spread the rug, Emma," said Mrs. Fanning in a lordly tone. This was +also accomplished, and the next moment we were whirling away. Mrs. +Fanning laid her fat hand on my lap. + +"Now, this is pleasant," she said; "I have been looking forward to +this. Do you know where I am going to take you?" + +"I am sure I cannot tell," I answered; "but as we are out, I hope you +will let me look at the shops; I want to tell mother something about +the latest fashions; it often entertains her." + +"Well, I am glad to hear you speak in that strain, it sounds so human +and womanly. Your tastes and mine coincide to a nicety. There's no one +loves shop-gazing better than I do; I have flattened my nose against +shop windows times and again, as long as I can remember. Before my +dear Albert became so wealthy, I used to get into my bus, and do my +hour of shop-gazing a-most every afternoon, but now it fidgets the +coachman if I ask him to pull up the horses too often. You like the +swing of the carriage, don't you, my dear? It's very comfortable, +isn't it? nearly as nice as if it had the yellow wheels that Albert +would not gratify his old mother by allowing. Ah, SHE has a deal to +answer for--a deal to answer for--however nice she may be in herself." +Here Mrs. Fanning favoured me with one of her broadest winks. + +"The carriage is very nice," I replied. + +"I fancied somehow that it would suit you, and I was most anxious to +see how you looked in it. Some people don't look as if they were born +to a carriage, others take to it like a duck takes to the water. Now, +you look very nice in it; you and your mother in this carriage would +look as genteel as two ladies could look. You don't know what a great +admiration I have for your mother. She is one of the most beautiful +women on God's earth." + +"And one of the best," I said impulsively, and as I thought of all +that was going to happen to that most precious mother, and how soon +that presence would be withdrawn from our mortal gaze, and how soon +that spirit would go to the God who gave it, tears sprang to my eyes, +and even Mrs. Fanning became more tolerable. + +"Ah, you are feeling cut to bits about her great delicacy," said that +good lady. "Any one can see that; but cheer up, cheer up, the young +ought to rejoice, and you of all women under the sun have the most +cause for rejoicement, Miss Wickham." + +I did not ask her why, I did not dare, we drove on. It seemed to me +that we were not going anywhere near the shops, we were steadily +pursuing our way into the suburbs. After a drive of over an hour, we +suddenly found ourselves in a part of Highgate quite unknown to me. We +had been going uphill for some time, and we stopped now before some +iron gates; a woman ran out of a lodge and opened the gates, and then +we drove down a short avenue shaded by some fine trees. We drew up in +front of a large, substantial red-brick house, the door of which was +open, and on the steps stood Mr. Fanning. He ran down to meet us, with +both his hands extended. + +"Ah! and you have brought the little thing," he said to his mother. + +"What little thing?" I said to myself. This was really the final +straw. I had never, never even by my most intimate friends, been +spoken of as the "little thing," for I was a tall girl and somewhat +large in my ideas, and if anything rather masculine in my mind, and to +be spoken of as a little thing, and by Albert Fanning, was about the +final straw which broke the camel's back. My first intention was to +refuse to budge from the carriage, to fiercely demand that the +coachman should turn round and drive me straight back again to mother, +but on second thoughts, I reflected that I should lose a good deal of +dignity by this proceeding, and the best possible plan was to appear +as if nothing at all extraordinary had occurred, and to follow Mrs. +Fanning into the house. + +"Yes, I have brought her," said that good woman; "here she is. She +looks slim beside your old mother, eh! Albert? but she's young; as +time goes on she'll spread like all the rest of us. Well, and here we +are, and she likes the brougham extremely; don't you, my dear? I could +see that if you had yielded to me with regard to the yellow wheels she +would not have approved. We must all humour her while she is young; it +is always the way, always the way, ain't it, Albert? And I never saw a +girl look nicer in a brougham than she does. She did enjoy her drive; +it was lovely to see her. Well, now, she'll enjoy still more what's +before her--the house and the grounds. It's a bit of a surprise we +have for you, my dear," continued the old lady, turning to me. "It is +not every girl would have the luck to be brought here by _his_ mother; +but everything that can be made easy and pleasant for you, Miss +Wickham, shall be made easy and pleasant. It was Albert's wish that +you should come here with me, and he said you would much rather it was +not bragged about at the boarding-house beforehand. This is my son +Albert's new house, furnished according to his own taste, which is +excellent, nothing showy nor gimcrack, all firm and good, bought at +Maple's, dear, in Tottenham Court Road, and the very best the +establishment could furnish. Everything new, shining, and _paid_ for, +dear, paid for. You can see the bills, not a debt to hang over your +head by-and-by, love. But come in, come in." + +I really felt that I could not stand much longer on the steps of the +mansion, listening to this most extraordinary address made to me by +Mrs. Fanning. What did it matter to me whether Albert Fanning paid for +his household goods or not? and how could it concern me what shop he +chose to buy them at? But I felt myself more or less in a trap, and +knew the best way to prevent any crisis taking place was to put on an +assumed air of absolute indifference, and to take the first possible +opportunity of returning home. + +"Jane must get the Fannings to leave to-morrow, whatever happens," I +said to myself, "and I must cling now to Mrs. Fanning for dear life. I +don't suppose Albert Fanning will propose for me while she is by." But +alas! I little knew the couple with whom I had to deal. Albert Fanning +had willed that I was not to cling close to his mother. Turning to the +old lady, he said-- + +"You're fagged and flustered. You have done things uncommonly well, +and now you'll just have the goodness to sit with your feet on the +fender in the drawing-room, and give yourself a right good toasting +while Miss Wickham and I are examining the house." + +"Oh no," I began. + +"Oh yes," said Mrs. Fanning; "don't be shy, love." She gave me another +wink so broad that I did not dare to expostulate further. Had I done +so, Albert would probably have gone on his knees on the spot and +implored of me there and then to make him the happiest of men. + +Accordingly we all entered the drawing-room which was furnished _à la_ +Maple. It was a large room, and there were a great many tables about, +and I wondered how stout Mrs. Fanning could cross the room without +knocking over one or two. She looked round her with admiration. + +"It's amazing the taste you have," she said, gazing at her son as if +he were a sort of demigod. He put her into a comfortable chair by the +fire, and then he and I began to do the house. Was there ever such a +dreadful business? We began at the attics, and we thoroughly explored +room after room. I did not mind that. As long as I could keep Albert +Fanning off dangerous ground I was quite ready to talk to him. I was +ready to poke at the mattresses on the new beds, and to admire the +chain springs, and to examine the ventilators in the walls of every +single room. I said "Yes" to all his remarks, and he evidently thought +he was making a most favourable impression. We took a long time going +over the house, but I did not mind that, for Mr. Fanning was in his +element, and was so pleased with his own consummate common sense and +his own skill in getting the right things into the right corners, and +in showing me what a mind he had for contriving and for making money +go as far as possible, that I allowed him to talk to his heart's +content. The brougham must soon be ordered again, and we must get back +to town, and the awful time would be at an end. But when at last even +the kitchens had been inspected, and the action of the new range +explained to me, Albert said that he must now show me the grounds. +There was no escaping this infliction, and accordingly into the +grounds we went. + +These were fairly spacious. There was a large fruit garden, and a +kitchen garden behind it, and Albert Fanning told me exactly what he +was going to plant in the kitchen garden in the spring--a certain bed +in particular was to be devoted to spring onions. He told me that he +hated salad without a good dash of onion in it, and as he spoke he +looked at me as much as to say, "Don't you ever give me salad without +onion," and I began to feel the queerest sensation, as if I was being +mastered, creeping over me. I wondered if the man really intended to +take me from the garden to the church, where the priest would be +waiting to perform the ceremony which would tie us together for life. +The whole proceeding was most extraordinary, but just at the crucial +moment, just when I was feeling that I could bear things no longer, I +heard Mrs. Fanning's cheery voice. How I loved the old lady at that +moment! + +"Albert! Albert!" she called out, "the tea is cooling. I don't approve +of tea being drawn too long, and it has been in the teapot for ten +minutes. Come in this minute, you naughty young folks, come in and +enjoy your tea." + +"I am coming," I answered, "I am very hungry and thirsty." + +"Are you?" said Mr. Fanning, looking at me. "Coming, mother, coming." + +I turned to run after the old lady, but he suddenly put out his hand +and caught one of mine, I pulled it away from him. + +"Don't," I said. + +"Don't!" he replied; "but I certainly shall. I mean often to touch you +in the future, so what does it matter my taking your hand now. I hope +to have you near me all day long and every day in the future. You must +have guessed why I brought you out here." + +"I have guessed nothing, except that I am thirsty and want my tea," I +replied. "I cannot talk to you any longer." + +"Oh yes, you can," he replied, "and you don't stir from here until I +have had my say. You thought to escape me that time in the +drawing-room a few weeks back, but you won't now. Don't be angry; +don't look so frightened. I mean well, I mean--I cannot tell you what +I _quite_ mean when I look at you, but there, you like the house?" + +"Yes," I said, "very well." + +"Very well indeed; let me tell you, Miss Wickham, there isn't a more +comfortable house nor a better furnished house, nor a better paid-for +house in the length and breadth of the county. And you like these +gardens, eh?" + +"Certainly," I said. + +"I thought so. Well, now, the fruit garden, and the kitchen garden, +and the pleasure garden, and the house, and the furniture, and the +master of the house are all at your disposal. There! I have spoken. +You are the one I am wishing to wed; you are the one I intend to wed. +I am wanting you, and I mean to have you for better, for worse. I have +not the slightest doubt that you have faults, but I am willing to run +the risk of finding them out; and I have no doubt that I have faults +too, but I do not think that they are too prominent, and, at any rate, +I am a real, downright son of Britain, an honest, good-hearted, +well-meaning man. I believe in the roast beef of Old England and the +beer of Old England, and the ways of Old England, and I want an +English girl like yourself to be my wife, and I will treat you well, +my dear, and love you well--yes, I will love you right well." + +Here his voice broke, and a pathetic look came into his eyes, and I +turned away more embarrassed, and more distressed than ever I was in +my life. + +"You will have all that heart can desire, little girl, and your poor, +delicate mother, shall come and live with you in this house; and she +and my mother can have a sitting-room between them. We shall be a +happy quartette, and you shall come to me as soon as ever you like, +the sooner the better. Now you need not give me your answer yet. We +know, of course, what it will be; it is a great chance for you, and I +am not denying it, but come and enjoy your tea." + +"But I must and will give you my answer now," I replied. "How can you +for a single moment imagine that I can seriously consider your offer? +It is kind of you; yes, it is kind of any man to give his whole heart +to a girl; and, I believe, you are sincere, but I can only give you +one answer, Mr. Fanning." + +"And that?" he said. + +"It is quite--quite absolutely impossible! I could never love you; I +could never, never marry you. I am sorry, of course, but I have +nothing--nothing more to say." + +"You mean," said Albert Fanning, turning pale, and a queer, half +angry, half wild look coming and going on his face, "that you _refuse_ +me--me, and my house, and my brougham, and my gardens, and my paid-for +furniture! Is it true?" + +"I refuse you, and all that you want to confer upon me," I answered. +"I know you mean well, and I am--oh, yes, I _am_ obliged to you. Any +girl ought to be obliged to a man who offers her the best he has; but +I could never under any circumstances marry you. Now, you know." + +"You will rue it, and I do not think you mean it," he said. His face +turned red, then purple, he turned on his heel, and allowed me to walk +back to the house alone. + +My head was swimming. My eyes were full of smarting tears which I +dared not shed. I entered the drawing-room where Mrs. Fanning was +waiting for me. + +"Ah! here you are," she cried, rubbing her hands, and speaking in a +very cheerful tone; "and where is Albert? Has he--has he?--why, what +is the matter, my love?" + +"I must tell you the truth," I answered, "for I know you will guess +it. Your son has been kind enough to ask me to marry him. You knew he +meant to ask me, did you not? but I--I have refused him. No, I don't +want any tea; I don't want even to go back in the brougham. I can +never, never marry your son, Mrs. Fanning; and you must have known +it--and it was very unkind of you to bring me here without saying +anything about it." And then I sank on the nearest chair, and sobbed +as if my heart would break. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +BUTTERED BREAD + + +Mrs. Fanning let me cry for a moment or two without interrupting me. I +think in her way she had plenty of heart; for once when I raised my +head, feeling relieved from the bitter flow of those tears, I found +that she was looking at me with a quizzical, but by no means unkindly +glance. + +"We'll say nothing about this at present," she exclaimed; "you shan't +be plagued, my dear. I'll talk to Albert, and say that you are not to +be worried; but whether you take him in the long run or not, you want +your tea now. Come, child, drink up this nice cup of hot tea." + +As she spoke she squeezed herself on to the sofa by my side; and gave +me tea according to her taste, and insisted on my drinking it; and I +could not refuse her, although my sobs were still coming heavily. + +"Ah, you're a proud young girl," she said, "you're one of those who do +not know which side their bread is buttered; but you will some day, +the knowledge will come to you, and soon, I'm thinking, soon." + +Here she looked intensely mysterious, and nodded her head +emphatically. + +"And there's not a better fellow in the length and breadth of England +than my son, Albert," she continued; "there's no one who would give +his wife a better time. Kind, he would be to her; firm, he would be no +doubt too. He would make her obey him, but he would make her love him +too. You will know all about it by-and-by, my dear, all about it +by-and-by. For the present we'll say nothing more. Albert shan't drive +with us back in the brougham, although I know he meant to do so. Poor +fellow! could love go further; his legs cramped up on that little seat +at the back, but love feels no pain, dear; no more than pride feels +pain. It's a bit of a shock to you, I know. Proposals always are; that +is, to modest girls. I felt terribly flustered when Albert's father +asked me to marry him. I assure you, my love, I could not bear the +sight of him for the next fortnight. I used to say, whenever he +entered a room, 'I'm going out, Albert, if you're coming in. Get right +away now, if you don't want me to hate you for ever,' but, in the end, +my dear love, I was head over ears in love with him. There never was a +better husband. He would be masterful as a good man should; but, dear, +I worshipped the ground he trod on, and it was he who made the +beginning of that fortune which Albert has turned into so big a thing. +Well, my love, you have seen the house, and you have gone over the +grounds, and you have done something else. You have looked into the +great good heart of my son, Albert; and after a time, I have no +doubt, you will creep into that heart, and take refuge; but mum's the +word at present, mum's the word." + +The idea of my creeping into Albert's heart as a final cave of refuge +was so funny, that I could scarcely keep back my smiles; and I almost +became hysterical between laughing and crying, so much so, that Mrs. +Fanning had to put her arms round me and hug me, and call me her dear +little girl. + +I was very glad she did not say, "dear little thing." By-and-by she +ordered the carriage, and we went back to town. She was most +affectionate to me. She assured me many times that she quite +understood; that she had gone through precisely the same phases with +regard to Albert Fanning the first but that it had all come right, and +that her passion for the godly man had been very strong by-and-by. I +should feel just the same with regard to Albert the second. It was the +way of girls; that is, nice girls. + +"Don't talk to me about that Miss Marion Armstrong," she said. "The +ways of that girl turn me sick. It is the contrast you make to Marion +Armstrong which has done the business more than anything else, my dear +Miss Wickham. But there, dear, there we'll turn the conversation." + +"I earnestly wish you would," I said + +"Ah," she said, "how history repeats itself. I used to feel as if I +would like to box any one in the face who talked to me about my dear +Albert long ago. But oh, how I loved him before all was over, how I +loved him!" + +She almost shed tears at the recollection. In short, I had a most +unpleasant drive home. At last it was over. I got out of the brougham, +with its red body and chocolate wheels, and staggered rather than +walked into the house. I did not dare to see mother until all traces +of emotion had left my face, but I made straight for Jane's sanctum. + +"Jane," I said the moment I found myself there, "the Fannings must go +away; they must, Jane, they must." + +"Why so?" asked Jane. + +"I will tell you what has just happened. Mother must never know, but I +must tell some one. Mrs. Fanning took me into the country in their new +brougham. We went to Highgate; they have a house there. Mr. Fanning +was there to meet us. He called me a little thing, and he took me over +the house and over the grounds, and told me, on pain of his direst +displeasure, that I was never to give him salad without onions, and +then he asked me to _marry him_. O Jane! what is to be done?" + +"But didn't you always know that he was going to ask you?" inquired +Jane in a low voice. + +"Ask me to marry him! How could I suppose anything so preposterous?" I +exclaimed. + +"Well, dear, I know it goes very sore with you, and I hope, with all +my heart and soul, that it may not be necessary." + +"Necessary!" I said, "what do you mean? O Jane! don't talk in that +way, you'll drive me mad. I cannot stay in the house with the Fannings +any more." + +"Let me think for a moment," answered Jane. She looked very careworn +and distressed, her face had grown thin and haggard. She looked years +older than before we had started the boarding-house. I was quite sorry +to see the change in her face. + +"Our life does not suit you," I said. + +"Oh, it suits me well enough," she replied, "and I never leave a +sinking ship." + +"But why should this ship be sinking? I thought we were doing so well, +the house is almost always full." + +"It is just this," said Jane: "we charged too little when we started. +If the house was choke-full, all the attics and the three different +floors let, we could not make the thing pay, that's the awful fact, +and you ought to know it, Westenra. We should have begun by charging +more." + +"Then why didn't we?" I said. "I left all those matters to you, Jane. +I was very ignorant, and you came and----" + +"I am not blaming you, my dear Westenra," said Jane; "only it is very, +very hard to go on toiling, toiling all day and almost all night, and +to feel at the same time that the thing cannot pay, that it can never +pay." + +"But why didn't we begin by charging more, and why can't we charge +more now?" + +"Because people who live in Bloomsbury never pay more," answered Miss +Mullins, "that is it, dear. If we meant this thing to succeed we +should have started our boarding-house in Mayfair, and then perhaps we +might have had a chance of managing. Perhaps with a connection like +yours we could have made it pay." + +"Never," I said, "none of our friends would come to us, they would +have been scandalised. It would never have done, Jane." + +"Well, well, we have got ourselves into a trap, and we must get out +the best way we can," was Jane's lugubrious answer. + +"Oh, never mind about our being in money difficulties now," I cried, +"do think of me, Jane, just for a moment, do make things possible for +me. Remember that I am very young, and I was never accustomed to +people of the Fanning type. Do, I beseech of you, ask them to go. Mr. +Fanning's action to-day will make your request possible. Jane, if I +went on my knees and stayed there all my life, I could not marry him, +and the sooner he knows it the better." + +"I will think things over," said Jane. I never saw anything like the +look of despair which was creeping over her face. + +"Things are coming to a crisis," she continued, "and I must confide +in you fully, but not just now, we must get dinner over first. Your +mother was ill while you were away, she won't come to dinner +to-night." + +"Mother ill! Anything serious?" I cried in alarm. + +"Only a little faintness. I have got her comfortably to bed." + +"Well, of course, I shan't dine to-night, I shall stay with mother." + +"But you must, my love, it is absolutely necessary that you should +appear at dinner, and you must be quite cheerful too in her room. She +is quite herself now, and is looking over a new book, and when you go +to her you will see that she has had a nice dinner, nourishing and +suitable. Now go and change your dress, and make yourself look smart. +Now that Mr. Randolph is gone, and your mother is too ill to be often +in the drawing-room and dining-room, the affairs of the household rest +upon you. You must make yourself smart; you must make yourself +attractive. It must be done, Westenra, it must, and for your mother's +sake." + +Jane spoke with such determination that she stimulated my courage, and +I went away to my own room determined to act on her advice. + +At the other side of the wall I heard Mrs. Fanning's heavy steps as +she walked about. She did not seem to be at all depressed at my +refusal of her son Albert. On the contrary, she was in very good +spirits. She had been in excellent spirits all the way back, and had +kept on assuring me that I was only going on the usual tack of the +modest maiden, the maiden who was worthy of such a man as her godly +son Albert. Had not she herself hated Albert's father for a whole +fortnight after his proposal, and had she not been glad, very glad, in +the end to creep into his great heart for shelter? Did she suppose +that I also would be glad to creep into Albert the second's great +heart for shelter? Oh, it was all unbearable. But, nevertheless, there +was a spirit of defiance in me. I had tried my ugly dresses in vain, I +had tried being grave and distant in vain. I had tried everything, but +nothing had availed; Mr. Fanning was determined to have me for his +wife. I wondered if the man cared for me, perhaps he did after his +fashion, but as no self-denials on my part had the effect of repulsing +him, I would give way to my fancy and dress properly for dinner. I put +on a very pretty pink dress which I had not yet worn, and ran +downstairs. + +At dinner I sat opposite Mr. Fanning. Mother's place was empty, and +Mrs. Fanning called across the table to know what was the matter with +her. + +I said that she was tired and had gone to bed, whereupon Mrs. +Armstrong immediately remarked, that it was a very good thing we had +such an excellent housekeeper as Miss Mullins to look after things in +my mother's serious state of health, otherwise the house would go to +wreck and ruin, she said. + +Mrs. Armstrong looked daggers at me for wearing my pink dress. She had +never seen anything so stylish as that soft, graceful robe before, and +between her jealousy at seeing me so attired, and her earnest wish to +copy it for Marion, she scarcely knew what to do with herself. She +darted angry glances at my face, and then tried to measure with her +eye the amount of ribbon on the bodice, and the quantity of chiffon +round the neck. But Mr. Fanning, to my great relief and delight, did +not appear to take the slightest interest in me. I do not think he +once glanced at my pretty evening frock. He absorbed himself +altogether with Marion Armstrong. He talked to her all during dinner, +and invited her in a loud voice to come and see him at his office on +the following day. + +"I told you, Miss Armstrong," he said, "that as a rule I am brutal to +the people who come to me trying to sell their wares. Those silly +folks who bring their useless manuscripts and their poor little +amateur drawings to my office find that I make short work with them. + +"'If you like to leave your manuscript or your drawings,' I say to +them, 'you can do so, but as to the chance of their being accepted, +well, look for yourselves. Do you see that pile? all that pile of +manuscripts has to be read before yours. If you leave your +manuscripts they go under the pile at the bottom; there will be nearly +a ton of stuff on top of them. You take your chance. You had best go +away at once with what you have brought, for I am not likely to +require it.' They mostly do go away, Miss Armstrong, for I am brutal +in my words and brutal in my tone. There is no use in buoying people +up with false hopes." Here he gave a loud guffaw, which reached my +ears at the further end of the table. + +Captain Furlong bent across at that moment to say something to me, and +I saw that he was much displeased at Mr. Fanning's loud, aggressive +words. But Mr. Fanning, after all, was nothing to Mrs. Fanning. It was +quite pleasant to me to see that he should turn his attentions to Miss +Marion Armstrong, but Mrs. Fanning's winks were more than I could +endure. They were just as much as to say, "Listen to him now; he is +only doing that to draw you on." So plainly did her speaking eyes +announce this fact, that I dreaded each moment her saying the awful +words aloud, but fortunately she did not go quite so far as that. + +When dinner was over Mrs. Armstrong came and sat near me. + +"Have you seen any of Marion's drawings lately?" she asked. + +"No," I replied; "is she getting on well?" + +"Is she getting on well!" retorted Mrs. Armstrong. "The girl is a +genius. I told you before that her whole soul was devoted to h'Art. +Well, I may as well say now that she has sold a little set of drawings +to Mr. Fanning. He means to bring them out in his Christmas number of +the _Lady's Handbag_. Have you ever seen the _Lady's Handbag_, Miss +Wickham?" + +"No," I answered; "I cannot say that I have." + +"I am surprised to hear it. The _Lady's Handbag_ is one of the most +striking and widely read periodicals of the day. It contains +information on every single thing that a lady ought to know, and there +is nothing in it for those low-down common sort of people who want +wild excitement and sickening adventures. But you shall see it for +yourself. Marion! Come here, dear Marion." + +Marion, behind whose chair Mr. Fanning was standing, rose reluctantly +and crossed the room with a frown between her brows. + +"You will scarcely believe it, Marion, but Miss Wickham has not seen +the _Lady's Handbag_. I was just telling her that you are to +illustrate an article for the Christmas number. Perhaps you could +oblige me by bringing a number here. I know Miss Wickham would like to +see any of Mr. Fanning's publications." + +Miss Armstrong left the room and returned with a copy of the _Lady's +Handbag_. It was handed to me and I turned the pages. It was exactly +the sort of fifth-rate production which I should expect a man of Mr. +Fanning's calibre to initiate. + +I gave it back to Mrs. Armstrong. + +"I am so glad that Miss Armstrong is having her first success," I said +then, and I thought what a suitable and admirable wife she would make +for Mr. Fanning, and hoped that he might by-and-by think so himself. + +As I was entering my own room that night, Mrs. Fanning popped her head +out of her own door near by. + +"One word, Miss Wickham," she said. She looked very funny. She had +divested herself of her gay dress and was wearing a night-cap. Her +night-cap had large frills which partly encircled her wide face. + +"I know you're fretted by the way Albert has gone on this evening," +she said, "but he's only doing it on purpose. I am sorry for that poor +girl, though. You had better be quick and make up your mind, or Marion +Armstrong will fall over head and ears in love with him, but if you +imagine for a single moment that he thinks sincerely of her you are +greatly mistaken. It's you he wants, and you he'll have. Go to bed +now, dear, and dream of him, but I understand your ways perfectly. I +felt just the same about Albert the first." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +YOU USED TO LOVE US + + +Mother was very ill for the next few days, and I was so much occupied +with her that I had no time to think of either Mr. or Mrs. Fanning. +When I was in the drawing-room my heart was full of her; when I forced +myself to go to meals, I could only think of her dear face. Was she +going to be taken away from me before the year was up? Oh, surely God +would at least leave me my one treasure for that short time. In those +days I used to go away by myself and struggle to pray to God, but my +heart was heavy, and I wondered if He heard my restless and broken +words. I used to creep out sometimes and go into a church alone, and +try to picture what my future would be when mother was gone; but I +could not picture it. It always rose before me as a great blank, and I +could not see anything distinctly. It seemed to me that I could see +everything when mother was present, and nothing without her. And then +I would go back again to her room and rouse myself to be cheerful, and +to talk in a pleasant tone. I was doing the utmost that duty required +of me just then. I determined that nothing would induce me to look +further afield. Life without mother I did not dare to contemplate. But +there were moments when the thought of one person came to my heart +with a thrill of strength and comfort. I missed Jim Randolph, and +longed for him to come back. + +As the winter passed away and the spring approached, I began to hope +for his return. I began to feel that when once he was back things +would be right, anxiety would be removed from Jane's face, the strain +would be removed. Mother would have her friend near her, and I also +should not be friendless when my time of terrible trouble came, for of +course mother was dying. The doctor was right. It was a question +perhaps of days, of months at most, but if Mr. Randolph came back I +thought that I could bear it. + +When mother and I were alone I noticed that she liked to talk of Jim, +and I was more than willing to listen to her, and to draw her out, and +to ask her questions, for it seemed to me that she knew him a great +deal better than I did. + +"There always seems to be a mystery surrounding him," I said on one +occasion. "You know much more than I do. I like him, of course, and I +am sure you like him, mother." + +"Except your dear father, West," replied mother, "he is the best +fellow I ever met, and he will come back again, dearest. I shall be +very glad when he comes back. We ought to hear from him soon now." + +The winter was now passing away and the spring coming, and the spring +that year happened to be a mild and gracious one, without much east +wind, and with many soft westerly breezes, and the trees in the Square +garden put on their delicate fragile green clothing, and hope came +back to my heart once more. + +One day I had gone to do some messages for mother in Regent Street. +She had asked me to buy some lace for a new fichu, and one or two +other little things. I went off to fulfil my messages with my heart +comparatively light. + +I went to Dickins & Jones', and was turning over some delicate laces +at the lace counter when a hand was laid on my shoulder. I turned with +a start to encounter the kind old face of the Duchess of Wilmot. + +"My dear Westenra," she said, "this is lucky. How are you? I have +heard nothing of you for a long time." + +Now, I had always loved the Duchess, not at all because she was a +duchess, but because she was a woman with a very womanly heart and a +very sweet way, and my whole heart went out to her now--to her +gracious appearance, to her gentle, refined tone of voice, to the look +in her eyes. I felt that I belonged to her set, and her set were +delightful to me just then. + +"Where are you going," inquired the Duchess, "after you have made your +purchases?" + +"Home again," I answered. + +"My carriage is at the door; you shall come with me. You shall come +and have tea with me." + +"I have not time," I said. "Mother is not well, and I must hurry back +to her." + +"Your mother not well! Mary Wickham not well! I have heard nothing for +months. I have written two or three times, but my letters have not +been replied to. It is impossible to keep up a friendship of this +sort, all on one side, Westenra. And you don't look as well as you +did, and oh! my dear child, is that your spring hat?" + +"It is; it will do very well," I answered. I spoke almost brusquely; I +felt hurt at her remarking it. + +"But it is not fresh. It is not the sort of hat I should like my +god-daughter to wear. They have some pretty things here. I must get +you a suitable hat." + +"No, no," I said with passion. "It cannot be." + +"You are so ridiculously proud and so ridiculously socialistic in all +your ideas. But if you were a true Socialist you would take a present +from your old friend without making any fuss over the matter." + +As the Duchess spoke she looked at me, and I saw tears in her eyes. + +"And I am your godmother," she continued. "I do not like to see you +looking as you do. You want a new hat and jacket; may I get them for +you?" + +At first I felt that I must refuse, but then I reflected that it would +please mother to see me in the hat and jacket which the Duchess would +purchase. I knew that the buying of such things were a mere bagatelle +to her, and the little pleasure which the new smart things would give +mother were not a bagatelle. My own feelings must be crushed out of +sight. I said humbly, "Just as you like." So the Duchess hurried me +into another room, and a hat that suited me was tried on and paid for, +and then a new jacket was purchased, and the Duchess made me put on +both hat and jacket immediately, and gave the address of 17 Graham +Square to have my old things sent to. + +The next moment we were bowling away in her carriage. + +"Ah," she cried, "now you look more like yourself. Pray give that old +hat to the housemaid. Don't put it on again. I mean to drive you home +now, Westenra." + +"Thank you," I answered. + +"I mean to see your mother also. Is she seriously ill?" + +"She is," I replied. I lowered my eyes and dropped my voice. + +"But what is the matter, my poor child? You seem very sad." + +"I have a great deal to make me sad, but I cannot tell you too much +now, and you must not question me." + +"And Jim has gone, really?" + +"Mr. Randolph has gone." + +The Duchess seemed about to speak, but she closed her lips. + +"He wrote and told me he had to go, but he will come back again. When +did you say he went, Westenra?" + +"I did not say, Duchess." + +"But give me the date, dear, please, and be quick." + +I thought for a moment. + +"He left England on the 30th of November," I said. + +"Ah, and this is the 15th of March. What a nice genial spring we are +having. He will be home soon; I am sure of that." + +"Have you heard from him?" I asked abruptly. + +"Just a line _en route_. I think it was dated from Colombo. Have you +heard?" + +"I believe mother had a letter, and I think Jane had." + +"He has not written to you?" + +"No." I felt the colour leap into my cheeks like an angry flame. I was +ashamed of myself for blushing. + +The Duchess looked at me attentively, and I saw a pleased expression +in her eyes. That look made me still more uncomfortable. She bent +towards me, took my hand, and pressed it. + +"You like Jim, do you not?" she said. + +"Yes," I answered very slowly. "I do not know Mr. Randolph well, but +what little I have seen of him I like. He is courteous, and he thinks +of others; he is very unselfish; he has much sympathy and tact, too. I +think he is very fond of mother." + +The Duchess gave the queerest, most inexplicable of smiles. + +"He is a dear fellow," she said. "Westenra, when you come back to us +we will all rejoice." + +"I do not understand you," I answered coldly. "It is impossible for me +ever to come back to you. I have stepped down." + +"When you come back we will rejoice," she repeated. + +"But I am not coming back. I do not even know that I want to. If you +had come to see mother sometimes--mother, who is just as much a lady +as she ever was, who is sweeter and more beautiful than she ever +was--you might have done us a great service, and I could have loved +you, oh! so dearly; but you have forsaken us, because we are no longer +in your set. Duchess, I must speak the truth. I hate sets; I hate +distinctions of rank. You used to love us; I did think your love was +genuine. We lived in a nice house in Mayfair, and you were our great +and kind friend. Now you do not love us, because--because we are +poor." + +"You are mistaken, Westenra. I love you still, and I have never +forgotten you. I will not come in now, but I will come and see your +mother to-morrow." + +"That will please her," I answered, drying away the tears which had +risen to my eyes. "But please do not disappoint her. I will tell her +of your visit. Do not keep her waiting. She is weak; she has been very +ill. At what hour will you come?" + +"About twelve o'clock. But she must be very bad indeed from the way +you speak." + +"She is far from well." + +"Are you hiding anything from me, Westenra?" + +"I am," I replied stoutly. "And you cannot get my secret from me. When +you see mother to-morrow perhaps you will know without my speaking. Do +not say anything to agitate her." + +"My poor, poor child. Westenra, you ought never to have left us. You +do not look well; but never mind, spring is coming, and Jim Randolph +will be home before May." + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +RUINED + + +It was on the afternoon of that same day that Jane Mullins sent for me +to go into her private sitting-room. + +"Shut the door," she said, "I must talk to you." + +Really Jane looked most queer. During the last month or two, ever +since Mr. Randolph went away, she had been taking less and less pains +with her dress; her hair was rough and thinner than ever; her little +round figure had fallen away; she seemed to have aged by many years. +She was never a pretty woman, never in any sense of the word, but now +there was something grotesque about her, grotesque and at the same +time intensely pathetic. + +"I have done all I could," she said. "Lock the door, please, +Westenra." + +I locked the door. + +"Now come and sit here, or stand by the window, or do anything you +like; but listen with all your might, keep your attention alert." + +"Yes," I said, "yes." + +"We are ruined, Westenra," said Jane Mullins, "we are ruined." + +"What!" I cried. + +Jane said the words almost ponderously, and then she threw her hands +to her sides and gazed at me with an expression which I cannot by any +possibility describe. + +"We are ruined," she repeated, "and it is time you should know it." + +"But how?" I asked. + +"How?" she cried with passion, "because we have debts which we cannot +meet--we have debts, debts, debts on every side; debts as high as the +house itself. Because we deceived our landlord, unintentionally it is +true, but nevertheless we deceived him, with promises which we cannot +fulfil, he can take back the lease of this house if he pleases, and +take it back he will, because our paying guests don't pay, because the +whole thing from first to last is a miserable failure. There, +Westenra, that's about the truth. It was your thought in the first +instance, child, and though I don't want to blame you, for you did it +with good meaning, and in utter ignorance, yet nevertheless you must +take some of the brunt of this terrible time. I cannot bear the whole +weight any longer. I have kept it to myself, and it has driven me +nearly mad. Yes, we are ruined." + +"You must explain more fully," was my answer. + +Her agitation was so great that by its very force it kept me quiet. I +had never seen her absolutely without composure before; her usually +brisk, confident manner had deserted her. + +"You have kept me in the dark," I continued, "and you have done wrong, +very wrong. Now please explain how and why we are ruined." + +"Here are some of the accounts; understand them if you can," she said. +She opened a drawer and pulled out a great account book. "Now look +here," she said, "the house is absolutely full, there is not a single +room to be let; I declined four fresh parties only this morning; Emma +is perfectly tired opening the door to people who want to come here to +board, the house has got a name and a good one. It is said of it that +it is in Bloomsbury and yet smacks of the West End. You and your +mother and Jim Randolph, bless him! have to answer for that. It's all +your doing, and the people have talked. Everything has been done that +could be done to make the place popular, and the place is popular, but +now, you look here. Here are the takings"--she pointed to one side of +the ledger--"here are the expenses"--she pointed to the +other--"expenses so much, takings so much, look at the balance, +Westenra. Of course you don't know much about accounts, but you can +see for yourself." + +I did look, and I did see, and my heart seemed to stand still, for the +balance on the wrong side of the ledger represented many pounds a +week. + +"Then this means," I said, for I was sharp enough in my way, "that the +longer we go on the heavier we get into debt. Every week we lose so +much." + +"We do, dear, that's just it." + +"But cannot we retrench?" + +"Retrench! how? Do you suppose the boarders will do without their +comfortable hot coffee, and the other luxuries on the board at +breakfast? Do you suppose they will do without their lunch, their +afternoon tea with plenty of cakes and plenty of cream, their late +dinner, at which appears all the luxuries of the season?--why, the +house would be empty in a week. And we cannot have fewer servants, we +have only four, very much less than most people would have for an +establishment of this kind, and Emma already complains of pains in her +legs, and says she is worn out going up and down stairs." + +"But the place looks so thriving," I said. + +"Looks! what have looks to do with it?" said Jane. "I feel nearly mad, +for I always thought I could pull the thing through; but it's going on +at a loss, and nothing can go on at a loss; and then, dear, there are +bad debts--one or two people have shuffled off without paying, and +there are the furniture bills, they are not all met yet." + +"But I thought," I said, "that the seven thousand pounds----" + +"Ay," cried Jane, "and that is where the bitterness comes in. That +money was supposed to be all right, to be as sure and safe as the Bank +of England, and it is not all right, it is all wrong. But that is +James Randolph's story. When he comes back he will explain the rights +of it to you, my dear. If I could only hear from him that the money +was safe, we could wind up honourably in the autumn and stop the +concern; but I have not heard, I have not heard; there has been +nothing but silence, and the silence drives me mad. Westenra, what is +to be done?" + +"Give the whole thing up now," I said, "there is nothing else to be +done. We must stop." + +"Stop!" answered Jane. "You talk with the ignorance of a young girl. +If we stop now we will have the whole house of cards about our ears; +the tradespeople will sue for their money, the bailiffs will be in and +will take possession of the furniture, even the very bed your mother +sleeps on will be taken from under her. The awful, terrible position +is, that we can neither stop nor go on. It is fearful, fearful. Oh, if +I could only borrow a thousand pounds within a week, I would not care +a farthing. I would not even care if your mother was strong, but to +have this crash come about her in her present state of health, why, it +would kill her. Westenra, poor child, you are young and unaccustomed +to these things, but I must unburden my mind. There is ruin before us; +I can scarcely stave it off for another week, and I have not had a +line from Mr. Randolph, and I am nearly wild." + +"And you think a thousand pounds would keep things going for a little +longer," I answered. + +"Yes, we could stay on until the end of the season if I could get +that money. It would pay the quarter's rent, and the tradespeople's +bills, and the big furniture bills. And long before it was out Mr. +Randolph must come back and put everything straight. His return is +what I am hoping for more than the rising of the sun." + +"But oh, Jane, how--how am I to get the thousand pounds?" + +"I was thinking that Duchess of yours might lend it." + +"No," I said, "I cannot ask her; besides, I know she would not. Though +she is a Duchess she has not got a lot of money to spare. The Duke +manages everything, and she just has her allowance, and a great deal +to do with it. I cannot ask her." + +"There is one other way in which ruin could be averted," said Jane +slowly, "but that I suppose is not to be thought of. Well, I have told +you, and I suppose it is a sort of relief. Things may go on as they +are for another week or two, but that's about all." + +I felt that I trembled, but I would not let Jane see. + +"You have been very brave. You have ruined yourself for our sakes," I +cried impulsively. But at the same time I could not help adding, "That +friend of yours who promised you seven thousand pounds ought not to +have failed you at a critical moment like the present." + +"I won't have him blamed," said Jane, her face turning crimson; "it is +not his fault. Man could not do more." + +"Jane," I said, facing her, "tell me the truth now; what is the name +of your friend?" + +"You won't get his name out of me," answered Jane. "Mr. Randolph has +gone to Australia to put things straight with him. When I hear from +Mr. James Randolph all will be well." + +"Have you never heard since he left?" + +"Twice during the voyage, but not since. It is wonderful why he is so +silent. There, I seem to have lost hope." + +"Jane," I cried, "why don't you give us up and go back to your own +little house?" + +"Bless you, child, I'm not the one to leave a sinking ship. Oh, we'll +go on a little bit longer, and it has cheered me a little to confide +in you. I will work the ship for another week or so, and there will be +an extra nice dinner to-night, and spring asparagus, real English +grown, and your mother shall have the greater portion of it. Oh dear, +oh dear, if the house were twice its size we _might_ make it pay, but +as it is it's too big and it's too small; it's one of the +betwixt-and-betweens, and betwixt-and-between things _never_ do, +never, never. Child, forgive me, I am sorry to add to your cares. If +it were not for your mother I should not mind a bit." + +I could do nothing to comfort Jane. I went up to her and kissed her, +and held her hand for a moment, and then went slowly away to my own +room. I did not attempt to shed a tear, I was not going to cry just +then, it behoved me to be very brave; there was a great deal to be +borne, and if I gave way it seemed to me that everything must come to +an end. I felt some pride in my young strength and my courage, and was +resolved that they should not fail me in my hour of need. So I put +away the new hat and pretty jacket and went down to mother, and I +amused mother by showing her the lace I had bought, and I told her all +about the Duchess, and mother was much pleased at the thought of +seeing her old friend on the following morning, and she and I sat that +afternoon in the drawing-room making up the pretty lace fichu, and I +resolved that mother should wear it the next day when the Duchess +came. + +There was the most awful trouble hanging over us all; my mother's days +on earth were numbered, and my scheme, my lovely castle in the air, +was falling to ruins about my head. But all the same mother and I +laughed and were cheerful, and the visitors who came into the +drawing-room that afternoon thought what a picturesque group mother +and I made, and what a lovely room it was, and how much superior to +most boarding-houses; and they inquired, more than one of them, when +there would be a vacancy, and said they would write to Miss Mullins on +the subject. Poor Jane Mullins! she was bearing the brunt of the +storm. I pitied her from the depths of my heart. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +MR. PATTENS + + +The next day the Duchess called, and mother was looking so well for +her, and so pleased to see her old friend again, that I do not think +at first the Duchess of Wilmot half realised how ill she was. I just +saw her for a moment, and then went out. I came back again at the end +of an hour. Mother's cheeks were quite bright, and her eyes shining, +and her hand was in the Duchess's hand, and when she looked at me her +eyes grew brighter than ever, and she said to me-- + +"Come here, darling," and she raised her dear lips for me to kiss her. + +I did kiss those lips, and I thought them too hot, and I said to the +Duchess-- + +"You are tiring mother, you have stayed with her long enough." + +"Oh no, let her stay; I do love so much to see her," said my mother, +so I could not have the heart to say any more, and I went away to a +distant part of the room, and they began whispering again just like +the dearest friends which they really were, and at last the Duchess +came up to me and said-- + +"Come downstairs with, me, West." + +I went with her, and wondered why she called me by mother's pet name, +but I loved her very much. + +"Tell me the truth about your mother," said the Duchess as soon as we +got into the hall. "At first I thought her fairly well, but she is +feverish, quite feverish now. Have I overtired her?" + +"I cannot tell you anything except that she is not strong," I said; +"that you have come so seldom to see her, that you have over-excited +her now. Oh, I cannot wait, I must go back to her." + +"I will come again to-morrow or next day," said the Duchess; "I don't +like her appearance at all." + +The Duchess went away, and I returned to mother. + +"It was nice to see Victoria," said my mother. "She is just the same +as ever, not the least changed. She told me about all our old +friends." + +"You are over-excited," I said, "you ought to stay quiet now." + +"On the contrary, I am well and hungry; only I wonder when I shall see +her again." + +"She said she would come to-morrow or next day," I answered. + +In the evening mother certainly seemed by no means worse for the +Duchess's visit, and the next day she said to me, "Victoria will +certainly call to-morrow." But to-morrow came and the Duchess did not +arrive, nor the next day, nor the next, and mother looked rather +fagged, and rather sad and disappointed, and at the end of a week or +fortnight she ceased to watch anxiously for the sound of wheels in the +Square, and said less and less about her dear friend Victoria. + +But just then, the thoughts of every one in the house except mother +(and the news was carefully kept from her), were full of a great and +terrible catastrophe, and even I forgot all about the Duchess, for one +of our largest Orient liners had foundered on some sunken rocks not +far from Port Adelaide, off the coast of South Australia, and there +had been a terrific shipwreck, and almost every one on board was +drowned. The vessel was called the _Star of Hope_. The papers were all +full of it, and the news was on every one's lips; but just at first I +did not realise how all important, how paralysing this same news was +for us. I read the trouble first in Jane's face. + +"You must not let your mother know about the shipwreck," she said. + +"But I cannot keep the newspapers from mother, and every newspaper is +full of it," I replied; "surely, Jane, surely--oh, you cannot mean +it--no person that we know was on board?" + +"I have a great fear over me," she answered. + +I clutched her arm, and looked into her face with wild eyes. My own +brain seemed to reel, my heart beat almost to suffocation, then I +became quiet. With a mighty effort I controlled myself. + +"Surely," I said, "surely." + +"His name is not mentioned amongst the list of passengers, that is my +one comfort; but it is quite possible, on the other hand, that he may +have gone on board at Adelaide," she continued, "for I know he had +business close to Adelaide, he told me so. If that was the case they +might not have entered his name in the ship's list of passengers, +and--oh, I have a great, a terrible fear over me, his silence, and now +this. Yes, child, it is true, he was, if all had gone well, to be on +his way home about now; but he has never written, and now this +shipwreck. I am more anxious, far more anxious than I can say." + +That night I did not sleep at all. Thoughts of Jim Randolph filled my +mind to the exclusion of all hope of repose. Was he really drowned? +Had he left the world? Was I never to see his face again? There was a +cry at my heart, and an ache there which ought to have told me the +truth, and yet I would not face the truth. I said over and over to +myself, "If he dies, it is terrible; if he dies, it means ruin for +us;" but nevertheless I knew well, although I would not face the +truth, that I was not thinking of the ruin to the house in Graham +Square, nor the blow to mother, nor the loss of James Randolph simply +as a friend. There was a deeper cause for my grief. It was useless for +me to say to my own heart Jim Randolph was nothing to me. I knew well +that he was. I knew well that he was more to me than any one else in +the wide world; that I--yes, although he had never spoken of his love +for me, I loved him, yes, I loved him with my full heart. + +In the morning I made up my mind that I would go and see the Duchess. +Perhaps, too, she might know something about Jim Randolph, as he was a +friend of hers, a friend about whom she was always hinting, but about +whom she said very little. + +As I was leaving the house Jane called me into her sitting-room. + +"Where are you going," she said. + +I told her. + +"Did you ever think over that idea of mine that you might ask the +Duchess to lend us that thousand pounds?" she said. "You remember I +mentioned it, and you said you would not do it; but things are very +grave, very grave indeed; and if--if my fear about Mr. Randolph is +true, why things are graver than ever, in fact everything is up. But I +would like for _her_ sake, poor dear, for her sake to ward off the +catastrophe as long as possible. She was very ill last night, and I +was up with her for a couple of hours. I wouldn't disturb you; but +didn't you think yourself that she looked bad this morning?" + +"Oh yes," I said, the tears starting to my eyes; "I thought mother +looked terribly ill, and I am going to see the Duchess. She ought to +call in order to make mother happy." + +"Shut the door, Westenra," said Jane, "I have something I must say." + +I shut the door, I was trembling. Jane was no longer a rock of +defence, she made me more frightened than any one else in the house. + +"Oh, what is it?" I said; "don't be mysterious, do speak out." + +"Well, it is this," said Jane, "we want that thousand pounds just +dreadfully. If we had it we could go on, we could go on at least till +the end of the season, and there would be an excuse to take your +mother to the country, and she might never know, never; but it wants +two months to the end of the season, and the house is full, and every +one is in the height of good humour, and yet they are all walking on +the brink of a precipice; the earth is eaten away beneath us, and any +moment the whole thing may topple through. Why, it was only +yesterday----" + +"What happened yesterday?" I asked. + +"A man came, a Mr. Pattens." + +"What has Mr. Pattens to do with us?" I said. + +"You listen to me, my dear; things are so grave that I can scarcely +smile, and you are so ignorant, Westenra." + +"Well," I said, "do tell me about Mr. Pattens." + +"He is the butcher, dear, and we owe him over a hundred pounds, and he +is positively desperate. He asked to see me, and of course I saw him, +and then he said he _must_ see your mother." + +"See mother? But mother never sees the tradespeople." + +"I know, love; but it was with the utmost difficulty I could keep him +from not seeing her. He said that she was responsible for his account, +and that if I would not let him see her he would do the other thing." + +"What?" I asked, "what?" + +"Well, my dear, it is coming, and you may as well bear it. There will +be a bailiff in this house in no time. Yes, there'll be a man in +possession, and how is your mother to stand that? You think whether +you would rather just tell your grand friend the Duchess, and save +your mother from the depths of humiliation, or whether you will let +things take their course. Pattens is desperate, and he is the sort of +man who will have no mercy. I have had to get the meat from another +butcher--we can't hold out much longer. I have paid away the last +shilling of the reserve fund I had in the bank. Oh dear, oh dear! why +did Mr. Randolph go away? If he has gone down in the _Star of Hope_, +why truly it is black night for us." + +"I will do my best, Jane, and do keep up heart; and oh, Jane, keep +mother in her room, she must not know, she must not meet this terrible +danger. O Jane! do your best." + +"I will, love. Even at the very worst day dawns but it is black night +at present, that it is," said the faithful creature. + +As I was going out who did I see standing on the threshold but Mrs. +Fanning. Mrs. Fanning had been away for over a fortnight, and I must +say we greatly enjoyed her absence, and I in particular enjoyed it; +but when I saw her comely, good-humoured, beaming face now, it seemed +to me that my heart went out to her. She looked at me, and then she +opened her arms wide. + +"Come to me, you dear little soul," she said; "come and have a hearty +hug." She clasped me tightly, and kissed me over and over again. + +"I am only back an hour," she said. "And how is Albert?" + +"I have not seen Mr. Fanning this morning," I answered, and I tried to +disengage myself from those cheery arms. + +"Dear, dear, you don't look at all the thing," she said; "there's the +brougham outside, would not you like a drive, honey? You and I might +go out by ourselves. Come, dearie." + +"No, thank you," I answered, "I am going on some special business for +mother." + +"Then whatever it is, can't you make use of the brougham? It was all +built and painted to suit your style, love, and why should not you +make use of it? Albert would be that proud." + +"Oh, indeed he would not, Mrs. Fanning; but please do not speak of it, +I cannot, I really cannot." + +"Well, if you won't, you won't," said the good woman. "I have come +back, though, and I hope to see a good deal of you; I have got lots +to tell you. I have been collecting early reminiscences." + +"Of what?" I could not help asking. + +"Of Albert's babyhood and childhood, they are that touching. I found a +little diary he used to keep. I declare I laughed and I cried over it. +We'll read it together this evening. Now then, off you go, and do get +some colour back into your pale cheeks; you are quite the prettiest, +most graceful, most h'aristocratic young lady I ever saw; but you are +too pale now, you really are." + +I did not say any more; I grasped Mrs. Fanning's hand. + +"How is your dear mother?" she said. + +"Mother is not at all well." + +"Ah, poor dear, poor dear," said Mrs. Fanning; "then no wonder your +cheeks are pale. I said to Albert the very last night I left, 'Albert, +if you win her, she's worth her weight in gold, it is a gold heart she +has; you watch her with her mother, Albert, and think what she'll be +to you.'" + +"Mrs. Fanning, you really must not talk in that way," I said. "Please +let me go." + +She did let me go. My contact with her had slightly braced me. I felt +angry once more with the terrible Albert; but Mrs. Fanning was +kindness itself. Oh, if only Albert had been a different man, and I +had really cared for him, and I--but why think of the impossible. + +I got into an omnibus, and gave the man directions to put me down at +the nearest point to the Duchess's house. I found myself echoing Jane +Mullins's words, "Why had Jim Randolph gone away?" + +I arrived at the Duchess's in good time. I had made up my mind to tell +her all. She must lend us a thousand pounds. Mother must be saved; +mother must be kept in the dark as to the utter ruin of my mad plan. I +whispered the story as I would tell it to my old friend over and over +to myself, and when I mounted the steps of the house and rang the bell +I was trembling, and felt very faint and tired. The footman opened the +door, and I inquired for her Grace. + +"Can I see her?" I said. "I am Miss Wickham; I want to see her on very +special business." + +"I will mention that you have called, madam," replied the man; "but +her Grace is not visible, she is very ill. She has been in bed for +several days, and the doctor is with her. It is influenza." + +Then, indeed, I felt my last hopes tottering. + +"I am sorry her Grace is ill," I said. I paused for a moment to +consider. "Can I see Miss Mitford?" I inquired then. Miss Mitford was +a lady who did some correspondence for the Duchess, and who was +generally to be found in the house. + +Miss Mitford came downstairs immediately, and I saw her in a small +room to the left of the great hall. + +"It is the shock about Mr. Randolph," she said at once. + +"Then is it really supposed that he was drowned in the _Star of +Hope_?" I cried. + +"He mentioned that he was coming to England by that boat," replied +Miss Mitford. "The Duchess is certain that he is amongst the +passengers, although his name has not been mentioned as yet in any +list. Her Grace is terribly upset, more particularly as Mr. Severn, +Sir Henry Severn's only son, died a fortnight ago. There is great +confusion, and Mr. Randolph ought to be back." + +I did not ask any questions with regard to this latter news, nor did +it interest me in the very least. Of course Mr. Randolph ought to be +back, but for very very different reasons. I went sorrowfully, oh so +sorrowfully, away. + +When I returned home Jane was waiting for me in the hall. She was +hovering about, looking very untidy and very anxious. + +"Well," she said; "come in here, I must speak to you." + +"But it is luncheon time," I said, "and people will wonder." + +"Let them wonder. Did you see her? Did she promise to lend it? That +man has been here again. He is desperate, and says that if he is not +paid in two days he will put in the bailiff." + +"And what will that mean?" I asked. + +"Ruin--utter and complete. But tell me, did you see the Duchess?" + +"I did not," I answered; "she is ill in bed; and oh, Jane, it is the +shock about Mr. Randolph which has caused her illness. The Duchess is +quite sure that he did sail in the _Star of Hope_. O Jane! what is to +be done?" + +"God only knows," answered Jane Mullins; "we are up a tree, and that's +the truth." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +THE MAN IN POSSESSION + + +I cannot exactly say how the next two days went by. Even in a crisis, +people get more or less accustomed to the thundercloud overhead, and +the feeling of insecurity below. I still found that I could eat, I +could walk, I could even sleep. I still found that I could be calm in +my mother's presence, and could say little funny nothings to amuse +her; and I sat in such a position, that she did not see the shadow +growing and growing on my face, and the guests did not suspect +anything. Why should they? They were enjoying all the good things of +my most miserable failure. + +Jane, however, never appeared in the drawing-room now; she left the +entertaining of the visitors to me. She told me boldly that I must +take it on me; that it was the least I could do, and I did take it on +me, and dressed my best, and talked my best, and sang songs for our +visitors in the evenings when my own heart was breaking. + +Captain and Mrs. Furlong were very kind. They noticed how, more and +more often, mother was absent from meals, and how the colour was +paling from my cheeks with anxiety for her. It was truly anxiety for +her, but they did not guess what principally caused it. + +On the evening of the third day I hurried into the dining-room just +before dinner. I quite forgot what I had gone for. It had been a +brilliant May day, but in the evening a fog had come on--a heavy sort +of cloud overhead, and there was a feeling of thunder in the air, and +the atmosphere was close. I remember that the windows of the +dining-room were wide open, and the long table was laid in its usual +dainty, and even sumptuous, manner for dinner. There were some vases +of flowers, and the plate, and china, the polished glass, the snowy +napery, all looked as tasteful, as fresh, as pretty, as heart could +desire. The guests were accustomed to this sort of table, and would +have been very angry if they had been asked to sit down at any other. + +Emma was hurrying in and out, putting final touches to the +preparations for the great meal. I thought she looked pale, and very +anxious, and just as I was entering the room she came up to me, and +said in a hurried whisper-- + +"If I were you, Miss Westenra, I wouldn't go in." + +"Why not?" I asked, "why should not I go into the dining-room?" + +She did not say any more; but as I insisted on going in, pushed past +me almost rudely, at least, I thought so at the moment, and went away, +shutting the door after her. Then I discovered the reason why she had +wished me not to go into the room. A little short man, stout and +podgy, in a greasy coat, and a greasy waistcoat, and a dirty tie, rose +as I entered. + +"Beg pardon, miss," he said. He was seated in a chair not far from the +window. He had a dirty newspaper on his lap, and by his side was a +glass which must have contained beer at one time, but was now empty. + +"I'm Scofield," he said, "Josiah Scofield at your service, miss. May I +ask, miss, if you're Miss Wickham?" + +"I am," I answered; "what are you doing here? Does Miss Mullins know +you are here?" + +"Yes, miss," answered the man in quite a humble, apologetic tone, "she +knows quite well I am here, and so do Emma, the servant; and so do the +other servants, and the reason why too, miss. It's on account of +Pattens, I'm here, miss; and I've come to stay, if you please." + +"To stay!" I echoed feebly, "to stay, why?" + +"You see, miss," continued the man; "this is how things is. You're the +daughter of the lady who owns this house, and I have heard that you +own it partly yourself; and it's this paper that justifies me, miss, +and I can't go out." + +As he spoke, he pulled a long, ugly, foolscap envelope out of his +pocket, and taking a paper from it, opened it, and showed it to me. I +saw something about _Victoria_, and _by the grace of God_, and some +other words in large, staring print, and then my own name, and my +mother's, and Jane Mullins'; and I thrust it back again. I could not +understand it, and I did not care to read any further. + +"I have heard of men like you," I said slowly; "but I have never seen +one of them before." + +The man was gazing at me with his queer, bloodshot eyes, full of the +strangest pity. + +"It must be a horrid profession for you," I said suddenly. I could not +help myself; at that moment I seemed to forget my own trouble in +sorrow for the man who had to do such dirty work. Was my brain going? + +Scofield did not answer my last remark. He put it aside as too foolish +to require a reply. + +"A very pretty young lady," I heard him mutter, "and I'm that sorry +for her." He looked me all over. + +"Now, miss," he said, "there are two ways of taking a man of my sort." + +I nodded my head. + +"There's the way of succumbing like, and going into hysterics, and +making no end of a scene, and the man stays on all the same, and the +neighbours get wind of it, and the ruin's complete in no time, so to +speak. 'Taint nothing much of a bill that's owed to Pattens, and even +if half of it was to be paid, I have not the slightest doubt that +Pattens would take me out and give you a bit more time; but there's +no use in quarrelling with me, nor telling me to go, for go I won't, +and can't. I had my orders, and I'm the man in possession. You have +got to face that fact, miss." + +"But you spoke of two ways," I said. "What is the way which is +not--not quite so hopeless?" + +"Ah!" said the man, rubbing his hands, "now, we are coming to our +senses, we are. Now I can manage matters fine." + +I glanced at the clock. It was already seven o'clock, and we dined at +half-past. The air outside seemed to grow heavier and heavier, and the +sky to grow darker, and I expected the thunder to roll, and the +lightning to flash at any moment: but what did external things matter. +There was a storm in my heart which kept out the sound, and the +meaning of external storms. + +"Mother! mother!" I kept murmuring under my breath, "this will kill +you, mother. O Mother! and it has been my fault. My wild, wild scheme +has come to this!" + +I felt so ill, that I could scarcely keep upright, and yet I could not +sit in the presence of that man. The next moment everything in the +room seemed to go round, and I was obliged to totter towards a chair. +I think I lost consciousness, for when I came to myself, I found the +little dirty greasy man had brought me a glass of water, and was +standing near. + +"You pluck up heart, child," he said, "there now, you're better. This +is not the first nor the second time I have been in a house as big as +this, and just as grand and full of visitors, and everything seemingly +as right as possible, and the house undermined. I've seen scores of +times like this, and pretty misses, like you, cut to the heart. It's a +nasty trade is mine, but we all must live, my dear, and I'm truly +sorry for you, and now, if you'll just let me advise you?" + +"What?" I asked, "what?" + +"You don't want the guests to know as I'm here?" + +"Of course not." + +"I must stay, and the servants had better know as little about me as +possible. Of course, they have seen me already, but anyhow it is a +sort of disguise that is commonly managed, and I had better do it." + +"What do you mean?" I cried. + +"My son, Robert, will be round directly. He often comes to me when I +am in possession; I expect by the same token that's his ring I hear +now. If you'll give me five shillings, miss, I'll do just what you +want, and nobody need guess." + +"But what? what?" I asked. + +"Bob is bringing me my servant's livery, miss, and I'll attend at +table to-night as your new man-servant. I look extremely well in +livery, and I have often attended in the houses of gentry just as +grand as yourself. Have you got five shillings in your pocket, miss? +I have to earn my bread, and I can't do it for less. Nobody will guess +who I am, and why I am here, if you'll give me that five shillings." + +"Take it, take it," I cried. I thrust two half-crowns into his palm, +and fled from the room. In the hall I found that I had run almost into +the arms of Mr. Fanning. + +"Why, Miss Wickham," he cried. He caught my hand to keep me from +falling; "why, my dear, what is the matter?" he said then; there was a +world of affection and sympathy in his voice, but I hated him for +speaking to me thus. + +"I have been feeling ill," I said, "I cannot go down to dinner." + +"But what is wrong?" he said. He backed towards the dining-room door, +and I did not want him to go in. He was so sharp; he would know at +once what that little greasy man meant. I knew by his manner, and by +hints that his mother had dropped, that they were both of them by no +means in the dark with regard to our affairs. He must not go into the +dining-room. + +"Don't go in; come upstairs with me," I said. + +"Oh, that I will, with pleasure," he answered, delighted at my tone, +"and if you are really ill we must get the doctor. We cannot allow you +to be really ill, you know, that would never do. I am very fond of +nice girls like you; but they must keep their health, oh yes, they +must. Now you are better, that is right. It's this horrid air, and +the storm coming on. You want the country. It's wonderfully fresh at +Highgate; splendid air; so bracing. I have been out at my place this +afternoon, and I cannot tell you what a difference there is. It is +like another climate." + +"Then why don't you stay in your place?" I could not help answering. +"What is it for, if you do not live there?" + +"I won't live in it, Miss Wickham, until I bring my wife there to bear +me company. But now if you are ill, do go to your room and rest; only +come down to dinner, pray. I never could do with hysterical girls; but +run upstairs and rest, there's a good child." + +I left him, went to my attic, shut and locked the door, and threw +myself on the ground. O God! the misery of that hour, the bitter +blackness of it. But I must not give way; I must appear at dinner. +Whatever happened I must not give way. + +I got up, arranged my hair, washed my face and hands, dressed myself +in the first evening dress I came across, and went downstairs. The +beautiful little silver gong sounded, and we all trooped down to the +dining-room. There were pleased smiles among the guests. The room was +crowded. Every seat at the long table had its occupant. Several fresh +paying guests had arrived, and there was the little man in livery +helping Emma to wait. How pleased the old paying guests were to see +him. The new paying guests took him as a matter of course. Mrs. +Armstrong, in particular, nodded to Miss Armstrong, and bent across to +Mr. Fanning and said-- + +"I am so pleased to see that poor Emma is getting a little help at +last." And Mr. Fanning looked at me and gave me a broad, perceptible +wink. I almost felt as if I must go under the table, but I kept up my +courage as people do sometimes when they are at the stake, for truly +it was like that to me. But mother was there, looking so sweet and +fragile, and a little puzzled by the new waiter's appearance. + +"What is your name?" I heard her say to him as he brought her some +vegetables, and he replied in a smug, comfortable voice, "Robert, +ma'am." And then she asked him to do one or two things, just as she +would have asked our dear little page in the old days which had +receded, oh! so far, into the background of my life. + +That evening, in the drawing-room, Mrs. Fanning came up to me. + +"They are all talking about Robert," she said. + +She sat down, shading me by her own portly figure from the gaze of any +more curious people. + +"You shan't sing to-night," she said; "you're not fit for it, and I +for one won't allow it. I told Albert I'd look after you. We'll have +to make excuses to-morrow when _he's_ not here." + +"When who is not here?" I asked. + +"The man they call Robert, who waited at dinner to-night." + +"But he'll be here to-morrow," I said; "you know he will; you know it, +don't you?" + +She bent a little closer, and took my hand. + +"Ah, dearie, my dearie," she said. "I have been low down once. It was +before Albert the first made his fortune. I have been through tight +times, and I know all about it. There, my dearie, take heart, don't +you be fretting; but he won't be here to-morrow, my love." + +"But he will," I said. + +"He won't, darling. I know what I'm talking about. We must make +excuses when he goes. We must say that he wasn't _exactly_ the sort of +servant Jane Mullins wanted, and that she is looking out for a smarter +sort of man. Don't you fret yourself over it, my darling." + +"Oh! I feel very sick and very tired," I cried. "Mrs. Fanning, will +you make some excuse for me to mother? I must go upstairs and lie +down." + +"I'll have a talk with your mother, and I'll not let out a thing to +her," said Mrs. Fanning, "and I'll take you up and put you right into +bed myself. I declare you do want a little bit of mothering from a +woman who has got abundant strength. Your own poor, dear mother would +do it if she could, but she hasn't got the strength of a fly. I am +very strong, dear, owing to Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, bless the man!" + +Just at that moment Mr. Fanning came up. + +He bent his tall, awkward figure towards his mother, and I distinctly +heard the odious word "Robert," and then Mrs. Fanning took my hand and +led me out of the drawing-room. She was very kind, and she helped me +to get into bed, and when I was in bed she took my hand and said she +was not going to stir until I fell asleep. + +"For I have been through these times, my dear, but the first time is +the worst of all," said the good woman, and she held my hand tightly, +and in spite of myself her presence comforted me and I did drop +asleep. + +The next morning when I went down to breakfast I could not see any +sign of Robert. Immediately afterwards I went into Jane's room. + +"Where is the man in possession?" I said bitterly. + +Jane's face looked a little relieved. + +"Haven't you heard?" she said; "he has gone. It was Mr. Fanning who +did it. He paid the bill in full, and the man has gone. He went last +night. Mr. Fanning is arranging the whole thing, and the man in +possession won't come back, that is, for the present. I begin to see +daylight. I am glad you have made up your mind to be sensible, +Westenra." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +ALBERT + + +I was so stunned I could not speak at all for a minute, then I said, +after a brief pause-- + +"Do you know if Mr. Fanning is in?" + +"No, why should he be in?" replied Miss Mullins in an almost irritable +voice, "he has got his work to do if you have not. Men who are +generous on the large scale on which he is generous, cannot afford to +be idle--that is, if they are going on adding to their fortunes. He is +out and probably in the city, he is a great publisher, you know, and +extremely successful. For my part, I respect him; he may be a rough +diamond, but he is a diamond all the same." + +Still I did not speak, and I am sure my silence, and the stunned +subdued heavy expression on my face, vexed Jane more than any amount +of words I might have uttered. + +"I will go and see if he has really gone," I said. "It is sometimes +quite late before he starts for the city, I want to speak to him at +once." + +"Now, Westenra, if you in this crisis make mischief," began Miss +Mullins. + +"Oh, I won't make mischief," I said, "but I must speak to Mr. +Fanning." + +I had almost reached the door when she called me back. + +"One moment," she said. + +I turned, impatiently. + +"Please don't keep me, Jane, I must see Mr. Fanning before he goes to +the city--I will come back afterwards." + +"If I wasn't almost sure what you are going to say to Mr. Fanning, I +would let you go," said Jane, "but you ought to know--your mother was +very ill, worse than I have ever seen her before, last night." + +"Mother ill in the night, and you never told me!" The greater trouble +seemed to swallow up the lesser, and for the time I forgot Mr. +Fanning, the man in possession, and everything in the world except +mother herself. + +"She had a sharp attack," continued Jane, "rigors and extreme +weakness. I happened most fortunately to go into her room about +midnight, and found her in an alarming state. Dr. Anderson was +summoned. She is better, much better, but not up yet." + +"But, Jane, why, why did you not wake me?" + +"I should, dear, if there had been real danger, but she quickly +recovered. You looked so ill yourself last night, that I had not the +heart to disturb your sleep. And there is no danger at present, no +fresh danger, that is. Unless something happens to cause her a sudden +shock, she is comparatively well, but it behoves you, Westenra, to be +careful." + +"And suppose I am not careful," I said, a sudden defiance coming into +my voice. + +"In that case----" said Miss Mullins. She did not finish her sentence. +She looked full at me, raised her hands expressively, and let them +fall to her sides. + +Nothing could be more full of meaning than her broken sentence, her +action, and the expression of her face. + +"But you could not deliberately do it," she said slowly, "you could +not expose a mother like yours to----" + +"Of course I could do nothing to injure mother," I said, "I will try +and be patient; but Jane, Jane, do you know really what this means? +Can you not guess that there are things that even for a mother, a +dying mother, a girl ought not to do?" + +"I do not see that," answered Jane deliberately; "no, I do not, not +from your point of view. You can do what is required, and you can bear +it." + +I knew quite well what she meant. She did not call me back this time +when I left the room. I heard her mutter to herself--her words +startled me--putting a new sort of sudden light on all our miserable +affairs. + +"My little home gone too," I heard her mutter, "ruin for me too, for +me too." + +I stood for a moment in the dark passage outside Jane's room. There +was no one there, and I could think. I did not want to go into the big +hall, nor to run up the staircase. I might meet some of those +smiling, well satisfied, delighted and delightful paying guests, those +paying guests who were ruining us all the time. Yes, I knew at last +what Jane meant, what Mrs. Fanning meant, what Albert Fanning meant. +We would be relieved from our embarrassments, mother would receive no +shock _if I promised to marry Albert Fanning_. Albert Fanning would +save the position, he would pay the necessary debts; he was rich, and +for love of me he would not mind what he did. Yes, I supposed it was +love for me. I did not know, of course. I could not fancy for a moment +that a girl like myself could excite any feeling of worship in a man +like Albert Fanning, but anyhow, for whatever reason, he wanted me +(and he did want me), he was willing to pay this big price for me. My +heart trembled, my spirit quaked. I stood in the luxury of the dark +passage, clasped my hands to my brow, and then determined not to give +way, to be brave to the very end. + +I ran upstairs and entered the drawing-room. It was tidy, in perfect +order. I was glad to find no one there. I went and stood under +father's picture. I gazed full up at the resolute, brave, handsome +face. + +"You died to win your V.C.," I said to myself, and then I turned to +leave the room. I met Mrs. Furlong coming in. + +"Ah, dear child," she said, "I am so glad to see you. But what is the +matter? You don't look well." + +"I am anxious," I answered; "mother had a very serious attack last +night." + +"We are all full of concern about her," replied Mrs. Furlong. "Won't +you sit down for a moment? I wish to talk to you. Ah, here comes my +husband. Philip, we have bad news about dear Mrs. Wickham, she was +very ill last night." + +"Your mother, Miss Wickham, is very far from strong," said Captain +Furlong. He came and stood near me; he looked full of sympathy. He was +very nice and kind and gentlemanly. He had been kind and courteous, +and unselfish, ever since he came to the house. + +"You are very good, both of you," I said. "I am going to mother now; +please, don't keep me." + +"But is there anything we can do? Would change be of service to her?" +said Mrs. Furlong. "I know it is a little early in the year, but the +spring is coming on nicely, and she must weary so of London, +particularly this part of London; she has been accustomed to such a +different life." + +"I do not think our present life has injured her," I said. "She has +not had any of the roughing. Things have been made smooth and pleasant +and bright for her." + +"All the same, it has been a very, very great change for her," said +Mrs. Furlong. "It has been good neither for her nor for you. Yes, +Philip," she continued, noticing a warning expression on her +husband's face, "I have got my opportunity, and I will speak out. I +am quite certain the sooner Westenra Wickham, and her dear mother, +leave this boarding-house the better it will be for both of them. What +has a young, innocent girl, like Westenra, to do with paying guests? +Oh, if they were all like you and me, dear, it would be different; but +they are not all like us, and there's that"--she dropped her voice. +Captain Furlong shook his head. + +"Miss Wickham has accepted the position, and I do not see how she can +desert her post," he said. + +"Never fear, be sure I will not," I answered; "but please--please, +kind friends, don't keep me now." + +"There is just one thing I should like to say before you go, Miss +Wickham," said Captain Furlong; "if you find yourself in trouble of +any sort whatever, pray command both my wife and myself. I have seen a +good deal of life in my day. My wife and I are much interested, both +in you and your mother. Now, for instance," he added, dropping his +voice, "I know about tight times; we all of us get more or less into a +tight corner, now and then--if a fifty pound note would----" + +"Oh no, it would not do anything," I cried. My face was crimson; my +heart seemed cut in two. + +"Oh! how can I thank you enough?" I added; and I ran up to the kind +man and seized his hands. I could almost have kissed them in my pain +and gratitude. "It would be useless, quite useless, but I shall never +forget your kindness." + +I saw the good-natured pair look at one another, and Mrs. Furlong +shook her head wisely; and I am sure a dewy moisture came to her eyes, +but I did not wait to say anything more, but ran off in the direction +of mother's room. A softened light filled that chamber, where all that +refinement and love could give surrounded the most treasured +possession of my life. Mother was lying in bed propped up by pillows. +She looked quite as well as usual, and almost sweeter than I had ever +seen her look, and she smiled when I came in. + +"Well, little girl," she said, "you are late in paying me your visit +this morning?" + +"It was very wrong of you, mother, not to send for me when you were so +ill last night," I answered. + +"Oh, that time," said mother, "it seems ages off already, and I am +quite as well as usual. I have got a kind nurse to look after me now. +Nurse Marion, come here." + +I could not help giving a visible start. Were things so bad with +mother that she required the services of a trained nurse? A comely, +sweet-faced, young woman of about thirty years of age, now approached +from her seat behind the curtain. + +"The doctor sent me in, Miss Wickham; he thought your mother would be +the better for constant care for two or three days." + +"I am very glad you have come," I answered. + +"Oh, it is so nice," said mother; "Nurse Marion has made me +delightfully comfortable; and is not the room sweet with that +delicious old-fashioned lavender she uses, and with all those spring +flowers?" + +"I have opened the window, too," said the nurse, "the more air the +dear lady gets the better for her; but now, Miss Wickham, I cannot +allow your mother to talk. Will you come back again; or, if you stay, +will you be very quiet?" + +"As you are here to look after mother I will come back again," I said. +I bent down, kissed the lily white hand which lay on the counterpane, +and rushed from the room. Stabs of agony were going through my heart, +and yet I must not give way! + +I ran upstairs, and knocked at Mrs. Fanning's door. As Albert Fanning +was out, I was determined to see her. There was no reply to my +summons, and after a moment I opened the door and looked in. The room +was empty. I went to my own room, sat down for a moment, and tried to +consider how things were tending with me, and what the end would be. +Rather than mother should suffer another pang, I would marry Albert +Fanning. But must it come to this! + +I put on my outdoor things, and ran downstairs. The closeness and +oppression of the day before had changed into a most balmy and +delicious spring morning; a sort of foretaste day of early summer. I +was reckless, my purse was very light, but what did that matter. I +stopped a hansom, got into it, and gave the man Albert Fanning's +address in Paternoster Row. Was I mad to go to him--to beard the lion +in his den? I did not know; I only knew that sane or mad, I must do +what I had made up my mind to do. + +The hansom bowled smoothly along, and I sat back in the farthest +corner, and tried to hope that no one saw me. A pale, very slender, +very miserable girl was all that they would have seen; the grace gone +from her, the beauty all departed; a sort of wreck of a girl, who had +made a great failure of her life, and of the happiness of those +belonging to her. Oh, if only the past six or eight months could be +lived over again, how differently would I have spent them! The cottage +in the country seemed now to be a sort of paradise. If only I could +take mother to it, I would be content to be buried away from the eyes +of the world for evermore. But mother was dying; there would be no +need soon for any of us to trouble about her future, for God Himself +was taking it into His own hands, and had prepared for her a mansion, +and an unfading habitation. + +I scarcely dared think of this. Be the end long, or be the end short, +during the remaining days or weeks of her existence, she must not be +worried, she must go happily, securely, confidently, down to the +Valley. That was the thought, the only thought which stayed with me, +as I drove as fast as I could in the direction of Mr. Fanning's place +of business. + +The cab was not allowed to go up the Row, so I paid my fare at the +entrance, and then walked to my destination. I knew the number well, +for Albert had mentioned it two or three times in my hearing, having +indeed often urged me to go and see him. I stopped therefore at the +right place, looked up, saw the name of Albert Fanning in huge letters +across the window, opened the door and entered. I found myself in a +big, book saloon, and going up to a man asked if Mr. Fanning were in. +The man was one of those smart sort of clerks, who generally know +everybody's business but their own. He looked me all over in a +somewhat quizzical way, and then said-- + +"Have you an appointment, miss?" + +"I have not," I replied. + +"Our chief, Mr. Fanning, never sees ladies without appointments." + +"I think he will see me," I answered, "he happens to know me. Please +say that Miss Westenra Wickham has called to see him." + +The clerk stared at me for a moment. + +"Miss West! what Wickham Miss? Perhaps you wouldn't mind writing it +down." + +I did not want to write down my name, but I did so; I gave it to the +clerk, who withdrew, smiling to a brother clerk as he did so. He came +back in a minute or two, looking rather red about the face, and went +back to his seat without approaching me, and at the same time I heard +heavy, ungainly steps rushing downstairs, and Mr. Fanning, in his +office coat, which was decidedly shabby, and almost as greasy as the +one which belonged to the "Man in Possession" on the previous evening, +entered the saloon. His hair stood wildly up on his head, and his blue +eyes were full of excitement. He came straight up to me. + +"I say, this is a pleasure," he exclaimed, "and quite unlooked for. +Pray, come upstairs at once, Miss Wickham. I am delighted to see +you--delighted. Understand, Parkins," he said, addressing the clerk +who had brought my message, "that I am engaged for the present, +absolutely engaged, and can see _no one_. Now, Miss Wickham, now." + +He ushered me as if I were a queen through the saloon, past the +wondering and almost tittering clerks, and up some winding stairs to +his own sanctum on the first floor. + +"Cosy, eh?" he said, as he opened the door, and showed me a big +apartment crowded with books of every shape and size, and heavily, and +at the same time, handsomely furnished. "Not bad for a city man's +office, eh?" he continued, "all the books are amusing; you might like +to dip into 'em by-and-by, nothing deep or dull, or stodgy here, all +light, frothy, and merry. Nothing improving, all entertaining. That is +how my father made his fortune; and that is how I, Albert the second, +as the mater calls me, intend to go on adding to my fortune. It is on +light, frothy, palatable morsels that I and my wife will live in the +future, eh, eh? You're pleased with the look of the place, ain't you. +Now then, sit right down here facing the light, so that I can have a +good view of you. You're so young; you have not a wrinkle on you. It's +the first sign of age coming on when a girl wishes to sit with her +back to the light, but you are young, and you can stand the full +glare. Here, you take the office chair. Isn't it comfortable? That's +where I have sat for hours and hours, and days and days; and where my +father sat before me. How well you'd look interviewing authors and +artists when they come here with their manuscripts. But there! I +expect you'd be a great deal too kind to them. A lot of rubbish you +would buy for the firm of Fanning & Co., wouldn't you now, eh? Ah, +it's you that has got a tender little heart, and Albert Fanning has +been one of the first to find it out." + +I could not interrupt this rapid flow of words, and sat in the chair +indicated, feeling almost stunned. At last he stopped, and gazing at +me, said-- + +"Well, and how _is_ Miss Westenra Wickham, and what has brought her to +visit her humble servant? Out with it now, the truth, please." + +Still I could find no words. At last, however, I said almost shyly-- + +"You have been kind, more than kind, but I came here to tell you, you +must not do it." + +"Now that's a pretty sort of thing to bring you here," said Mr. +Fanning. "Upon my soul, that's a queer errand. I have been kind, +forsooth! and I am not to be kind in the future. And pray why should I +turn into an evil, cruel sort of man at your suggestion, Miss Wickham? +Why should I, eh? Am I to spoil my fine character because you, a +little slip of a girl, wish it so?" + +"You must listen to me," I said; "you do not take me seriously, but +you must. This is no laughing matter." + +"Oh, I am to talk sense, am I? What a little chit it is! but it is a +dear little thing in its way, although saucy. It's trying to come +round me and to teach me. Well, well, I don't mind owning that you can +turn me with a twist of your little finger wherever you please. You +have the most bewitching way with you I ever saw with any girl. It has +bowled Albert Fanning over, that it has. Now, then, what have you +really come for?" + +"You paid the bill of Pattens the butcher either this morning or last +night, why did you do it?" + +Mr. Fanning had the grace to turn red when I said this. He gave me +even for a moment an uncomfortable glance, then said loudly-- + +"But you didn't surely want that fellow Robert to stay on?" + +"That is quite true," I replied, "but I still less want you, Mr. +Fanning, to pay our debts. You did very wrong to take such a liberty +without my permission, very, very wrong." + +"To tell you the honest truth, I never wished you to know about it," +said Mr. Fanning. "Who blurted it out?" + +"Jane Mullins, of course, told me." + +"Ah, I mentioned to the mater that it would be very silly to confide +in that woman, and now the little mater has done no end of mischief. +She has set your back up and--but there, you were bound to know of it +sooner or later. Of course the butcher's is not the only bill I must +pay, and you were bound to know, of course. I don't really mind that +you do know. It's a great relief to you, ain't it now?" + +"It is not a great relief, and what is more I cannot allow it." + +"You cannot allow it?" + +"No." + +Mr. Fanning now pulled his chair up so close to mine that his knees +nearly touched me. I drew back. + +"You needn't be afraid that I'll come closer," he said almost sulkily, +"you know quite well what I feel about you, Miss Wickham, for I have +said it already. I may have a few more words to deliver on that point +by-and-by, but now what I want to say is this, that I won't force any +one to come to me except with a free heart. Nobody, not even you--not +even _you_--although, God knows, you are like no one else on earth, +shall come to me except willingly. I never met any one like you +before, so dainty, so fair so pretty--oh, so very pretty, and such a +sweet girl and, upon my word, you can make just anything of me. But +there, the time for love-making has not yet come, and you have +something ugly to say in the back of your head, I see the thought +shining out of your eyes. Oh, however hard you may feel, and however +much pain you mean to give me, you cannot make those eyes of yours +look ugly and forbidding. Now I am prepared to listen." + +He folded his arms across his chest and looked full at me. He was in +such great and desperate earnest that he was not quite so repellant as +usual. I could not but respect him, and I found it no longer difficult +to speak freely to him. + +"I come as a woman to appeal to a man," I said. "You are a man and I +am a woman, we stand on equal ground. You would not like your sister, +had you a sister, to do what you want me to do. I appeal to you on +behalf of that sister who does not exist." + +He tried to give a laugh, but it would not rise to his lips. + +"As you justly remarked," he said, "I have not got a sister." + +"But you know, you must know, Mr. Fanning, what you would feel if you +had a sister, and she allowed a man who was no relation, no relation +whatever, to take her debts and pay them. What would you think of your +sister?" + +"I'd say the sooner she and that chap married the better," was Mr. +Fanning's blunt response; "they'd be relations then fast enough, eh, +eh? I think I have about answered you, Miss Wickham." + +"But suppose she did not want to marry that man; suppose she had told +him that she never would marry him; suppose he knew perfectly well in +his heart that she could not marry him, because she had not a spark of +love to give him?" + +"But I don't suppose anything of the sort," said Mr. Fanning, and now +his face grew white, uncomfortably white, and I saw his lips +trembling. + +"There now," he said, "you have had your say, and it is my turn. I see +perfectly well what you are driving at. You think I have taken an +unfair advantage of you, but this was the position. I knew all about +it, I had seen it coming for some time. Jane Mullins had dropped hints +to mother, and mother had dropped hints to me, and, good gracious! I +could tell for myself. I am a man of business; I knew exactly what +each of the boarders paid. I knew exactly or nearly to a nicety, and +if I didn't my mother did, what the dinners cost which we ate night +after night in your dining-room, and what the furniture must have +cost, and what the breakfast cost, and the hundred and one things +which were necessary to keep up an establishment of that kind, and I +said to the mater, 'Look you here, mater, the incomings are so and so, +and the outgoings are so and so, and a smash is _inevitable_. It will +come sooner or later, and it is my opinion it will come sooner, not +later.' The mater agreed with me, for she is shrewd enough, and we +both thought a great deal of you, and a great deal of your mother. We +knew that although you were dainty in your ways, and belonged to a +higher social class than we did (we are never going, either of us, to +deny that), we knew that you were ignorant of these things, and had +not our wisdom, and we thought Jane Mullins was a bit of a goose to +have launched in such a hopeless undertaking. But, of course, as the +mater said, she said it many, many times, 'There may be money at the +back of this thing, Albert, and if there is they may pull through.' +But when Mr. Randolph went off in that fine hurry last winter, we +found out all too quickly that there was no money at the back, and +then, of course, the result was inevitable. + +"I expected Pattens to send a man in, for I had met him once or twice, +and he told me that his bill was not paid, and that he did not mean to +supply any more meat, and what Pattens said the baker and greengrocer +said too, and so did Allthorp the grocer, and so did the fishmonger, +Merriman, and so did all the other tradespeople, and if one spoke to +me, so did they all. I have paid Pattens, but that is not enough. +Pattens won't trouble you any more, his man has gone, but there is +Merriman's man to come on, and there is Allthorp's man, and there are +all the others, and then, above and beyond all, there's the landlord, +Mr. Hardcastle. Why, the March quarter's rent has not been paid yet, +and that is a pretty big sum. So, my dear young lady, things _cannot_ +go on, and what is to be done? Now there's the question--what is to be +done?" + +I stared at him with frightened eyes. It was perfectly true that I +knew nothing whatever about business. I had imagined myself +business-like, and full of common sense, but I found in this extreme +moment that my business qualities were nowhere, and that this +hard-headed and yet honest man of the world was facing the position +for me, and seeing things as I ought to see them. + +"What is to be done?" he repeated. "Are you going to have the bed on +which your mother sleeps sold under her, and she dying, or are you +not? I can help you, I have plenty of money, I have a lot of loose +cash in the bank which may as well go in your direction as any other. +Shall I spend it for you, or shall I not?" + +"But if you do--if you do," I faltered, "what does it mean?" + +"Mean!" he said, and now a queer light came into his eyes, and he drew +nearer again, and bending forward tried to take my hand. I put it +hastily behind me. + +"I'll be frank," he said, "I'll be plain, _it means you_." + +"I cannot, oh! I cannot," I said. I covered my face with both my +hands; I was trembling all over. + +"Give me your promise," he said, dropping his voice very low, "just +give me your promise. I'll not hurry you a bit. Give me your promise +that in the future, say in a year (I'll give you a whole year, yes I +will, although it goes hard with me)--say in a year, you will be mine, +you'll come to me as my little wife, and I won't bother you, upon my +soul I won't, before the time. I'll go away from 17 Graham Square, I +will, yes I will. The mater can stay, she likes looking after people, +and she is downright fond of you, but I won't worry you. Say you'll be +my little wife, and you need not have another care. The bills shall be +paid, and we'll close the place gradually. The boarding-house, on its +present terms, cannot go on, but we will close up gradually, and poor +old Miss Mullins need not be a pauper for the rest of her days. She's +a right down good sort, and I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll start her +in a little boarding-house of a humble kind on my own hook. Yes, I +will, and she shall make a tidy fortune out of it. I'll do all that, +and for you, for _you_, and you have only got to promise." + +"But I cannot," I said, and now I began to sob. "Oh, I cannot. You +don't want a wife who doesn't love you at all." + +"Not even a little bit?" he said, and there was a pathetic ring in his +voice. "Aren't you sure that you love me just a very little bit? Well, +well, you will some day; you will when you know me better. I am a +very rough sort of diamond, Miss Wickham, but I am a diamond all the +same, if being true and honourable and honest and straightforward +means anything at all. I don't want to speak too well of myself, but I +do know that in my entire life I have never done a real mean or shabby +thing. I am an honest fellow out and out, Miss Wickham, and I offer +you all I have, and I will get you out of this scrape in a twinkling, +that I will. You thought, perhaps, your fine friend Mr. Randolph would +do it, but when he guessed how things were going he cut off fast +enough to the other side of the world." + +"I won't let you speak of him like that," I cried, and my voice rose +again with anger, and the pity I had felt for Mr. Fanning a moment ago +vanished as if it had never existed. "Mr. Randolph has been our true, +true friend, and he may be dead now. Oh, you are cruel to speak of him +like that!" + +"Very well, we won't talk of him. It is unkind to abuse the dead," +said Mr. Fanning in a low, considerate sort of voice. "He sailed, poor +chap, in the _Star of Hope_, and the _Star of Hope_ has been wrecked. +He will never come back to bother anybody again, so we won't talk of +him." + +I was silent. A cold, faint feeling was stealing over me. + +"Well, now, you listen to me," continued Mr. Fanning. "You think that +it is very hard on you that a man of my sort should want you to be his +wife, but men of my sort, when they make fortunes, often do marry +girls like you. I have a lot of money, Miss Wickham, plenty and +plenty, thousands upon thousands, and it's piling up every day. It is +the froth and the light literature that has done it--all those +picture-books, coloured, most of 'em, and those children's books, and +those nonsense rhymes, and all that sort of thing. We have huge sales +all over the world, and the money rolls in for Albert Fanning, and +Albert Fanning can marry about any girl he chooses. Why shouldn't he +take a wife a peg above him? It's done every day, and why should not +his wife be happy? What is there against that house at Highgate, for +instance, and what is there against the old woman? Is there an +honester or a better heart than hers?" + +"That is quite true; I really love your mother," I said. + +"Ah, that's a good girl, now." He laid his big hand on mine and gave +it a little pat. "And you'll be all right when you come to me; you'll +be as comfortable as possible. You'll soon get accustomed to me and my +ways." + +"But I can never, never come to you," I cried, shrinking away. "I +cannot make you that promise." + +"I won't take your answer now, and I have not done speaking yet. Do +you know that I have cared for you for a long time? I'll tell you how +it happened. I was in the Park one day, more than two years ago. I +had been in Germany, learning book-binding. There was nothing I did +not go into as far as my trade was concerned, and I had come back +again, and I was in the Park watching the fine folks. My pockets were +comfortably lined, and I had not a debt in the world, and I was +feeling pretty spry, you may be sure, and thinking, 'Albert Fanning, +the time has come for you to take a mate; the time has come for you +and your sweetheart to meet, and to have a right good time, and a +happy life afterwards.' And I was thinking which of the suburbs I'd +live in, and what sort of girl I'd have. Oh, there were plenty ready +to come to me for the asking, young girls, too, with rosy cheeks and +bright eyes. There was one, I never saw blacker eyes than hers; they +were as black as sloes, and I always admired black eyes, because I am +fair, you know, and the mater is fair. You always like your opposite +as a rule, and as these thoughts were coming to me, and I was thinking +of Susan Martin and her black eyes, and the merry laugh she had, and +her white teeth, who should come driving slowly by, in the midst of +all the other grand folks, but your little self. You were bending +forward, doing something for your mother, putting a shawl about her or +something, and you just gave the tiniest bit of a smile, and I saw a +gleam of your teeth, and I looked at your grey eyes; and, upon my +word, it was all over with me. I never knew there were girls like you +in existence before. I found myself turning at first white and then +red, and at first hot and then cold, and I followed that carriage as +fast as I could, and whenever I had a chance I took a glance at you. +Oh, you were high above me, far away from me, with people that I could +never have anything to do with; but I lost my heart to you, and Susan +Martin hadn't a chance. I found out from the mater that you were Miss +Wickham, and that your father had been a general officer in the army, +and you lived in Mayfair, and went into society; and often and often I +went into the Park to catch a glimpse of you, and I got the number of +your house, and sometimes I passed it by and looked up at the windows, +and once I saw you there; you were arranging some flowers. I just +caught the bend of your head, and I saw the shape of your throat, and +your straight profile, and the whole look of you, and my heart went +pitter-pat. I wasn't myself after I had caught a glimpse of you. You +filled all my world, and the old mater found out there was something +wrong. I am reserved about some things, and I didn't let it out to +her, but at last I did, and she said, 'Courage, Albert, courage. If +you want her, why shouldn't you have her? You have plenty of money, +and you're a right good sort.' And then all of a sudden one day the +mater came to me with news, no less news than this, that you, you +plucky little darling, were going to start a boarding-house on your +own account. After that, it was plain sailing." + +"She is poor," said the mother. "She and her mother have lost all +their money; they are down in the world, down on their luck, and they +are going to do this. So then we arranged that we'd come and live in +the boarding-house, and I began my courting in hot earnest, and +fortune has favoured me, Miss Wickham; fortune has favoured me, +Westenra, and oh! I love you, God knows how much, and I'd be a good +husband to you, and you should have your own way in everything. Won't +you think of it, Miss Wickham? Won't you?" + +I was silent. The tears were running down my cheeks, and I had no +voice to speak. I got up at last slowly. + +"Won't you think of it?" he said again. + +I shook my head. + +"Well, I tell you what," he said, turning very pale. "Don't give me +your answer now. Wait until this evening or to-morrow. I won't worry +you in the drawing-room to-night. I'll keep far away, and I'll try if +I can to keep everybody at bay--all those wolves, I mean, that are +surrounding you--and maybe you'll think better of it, for the position +is a very serious one; maybe you'll think better of it. And remember, +whatever happens, there ain't a fellow on earth would make you a +better husband than I shall, if you'll let me." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +THE BOND + + +I went slowly home. I walked all the way, I was glad of the exercise, +I wanted to tire my body in order that my mind should not think too +acutely. When I got in, it was lunch time. I went into the dining-room +without taking off my hat. Jane Mullins was there, as usual she was at +the foot of the table, she was busy carving, and she was chatting to +Mrs. Armstrong, and Mrs. Armstrong was looking somewhat mysterious, +and when she saw me she gave me a kindly nod, but I perceived the +curiosity in her eyes and turned my face away. + +Marion Armstrong was seldom in to lunch, she was at her School of Art +doing those drawings by which she hoped to win the hand of Albert +Fanning. But what chance had she of Albert Fanning? + +Mrs. Fanning was present, and she looked very stout and prosperous, +and mysterious and happy, and as I sat down, not far away from her, +she suddenly stretched her fat hand across the table and grasped mine +and said-- + +"How are you, dear, and how is your mother?" + +I answered that I hoped mother was better, and Captain and Mrs. +Furlong looked at me also with pity. I had never greater difficulty in +keeping my composure than I had during that awful meal, but I did eat +a cutlet when it was put on my plate, and I did manage to talk to my +neighbour, a new boarder who had come up from the country, and did not +know her way about anywhere. She was an excitable middle-aged lady of +between forty and fifty, and she asked questions which I was able to +answer, and helped me more than she knew to get through that terrible +meal. + +At last it was over and I went up to mother's room. To my great +astonishment it was empty. Where was mother? Was she better? What +could have happened? With a mingling of alarm and anticipation I ran +into the drawing-room. She was there in her old accustomed seat by the +window. She looked very much as usual. When she saw me she called me +over to her. + +"Are you surprised, West?" she said. + +"I am greatly surprised," I answered; "are you better, Mummy?" I bent +over her, calling her by the old childish, very childish name. She +laid her thin hand on mine, her hand was hot, but her face looked, +with the colour in her cheeks, and her eyes so feverishly bright, more +beautiful than I had ever seen it. I sat down near her. + +"You don't know how nice Nurse Marion has been," she said. "When she +found I really wished to get up, she did not oppose me, and she +dressed me so carefully, and I am not the least bit tired. I longed to +come into the drawing-room, I seem to have quite got over that attack; +you need not be anxious, West." + +"Very well, I won't be anxious," I answered; "I will sit close to you +here and read to you if you will let me." + +"I should love to hear you, darling. Read Whittier's poem, 'My Psalm.' +Some of the lines have been ringing in my head all day, and I always +like the sort of cadence in your voice when you read poetry aloud." + +I knew Whittier's "Psalm" well, and without troubling to get the book, +I began to repeat the well-known words-- + + "I mourn no more my vanished years: + Beneath a tender rain, + An April rain of smiles and tears, + My heart is young again. + + The west-winds blow, and singing low, + I hear the glad streams run; + The windows of my soul I throw + Wide open to the sun. + + No longer forward nor behind, + I look in hope and fear: + But grateful, take the good I find, + The best of now and here." + +As I slowly repeated the words, I noticed that mother's gentle soft +eyes were fixed on my face. She raised her hand now and then as if to +beat time to the rhythm of the poetry. At last I reached the final +verses. + +"Say them slowly, West," whispered mother; "I know them so well, and +they have comforted me so often. Say them very slowly, in particular +that verse which speaks about death as 'but a covered way,'" + +I continued-- + + "That more and more a Providence + Of Love is understood, + Making the springs of time and sense + Sweet with eternal good; + + That death seems but a covered way, + Which opens into light, + Wherein no blinded child can stray + Beyond the Father's sight; + + That care and trial seem at last, + Through Memory's sunset air, + Like mountain-ranges overpast + In purple distance fair; + + That all the jarring notes of life + Seem blending in a psalm, + And all the angles of its strife + Slow rounding into calm. + + And so the shadows fall apart, + And so the west-winds play; + And all the windows of my heart + I open to the day." + +"Ah," said mother, when my voice finally ceased, it had very nearly +failed me towards the end, "that is just how I am. I sit by the open +window, I look out and beyond, I see no trouble anywhere. The peace +is wonderful, wonderful. It is all my Father's doing, my heavenly +Father's doing. I am so strangely happy that I cannot quite understand +myself. Last night something strange happened, West. Your dear father, +my beloved husband, came back to me." + +"Mother!" I cried. + +"Yes," she said very gently, "he did; you will understand some day, I +cannot explain what happened. He came to my room. He looked at me with +your eyes, my darling, only older and more grave; eyes with the weight +of the knowledge of life in them, and the understanding of the Life +beyond in them. He looked at me, and there was both joy and sorrow in +his eyes, and the joy seemed greater than the sorrow. He even took my +hand in his, and I fancied I heard him say something about our going +away together, but I am not quite sure on that point. I only know that +he was with me, and that now I feel no pain. Nothing can trouble me +again. Even dying cannot trouble me. West, my child, what are you +crying for?" + +"Oh, I am not crying at all, mother, only, somehow, there is a pathos +in your words, but I am not crying." + +She took my hand and patted it softly. + +"You have no cause for tears, as far as I am concerned," she said. "I +am the happiest woman in the world, I have had a happy life, such a +husband, so dear a daughter, and now this wonderful, wonderful peace, +this joy, and there is no death, dear West, for those who really love; +there is no real parting for those who love." + +From where we sat we could see the trees in the Square garden. They +had put on their spring green, and most lovely was the mantle they +wore. The dust of London had not yet had time to spoil them. The +freshness of their appearance on that May morning was as vivid, as +perfect, as though those trees lived themselves in the heart of the +country; they seemed to be a little bit of God in the middle of that +town Square. I kept watching them, and glancing from time to time at +mother, but all through there was in my mind another thought, the +thought of Mr. Fanning and what he wanted me to do. After all, if the +end of life was so full of bliss, what mattered any cross on the +journey. I felt ready for sacrifice. I rose very slowly, and softly +left the drawing-room. + +By a sort of common consent, the boarders had all gone out on this +exquisite early summer's afternoon, and mother and I had the room to +ourselves. Even Mrs. Fanning had gone out. I crossed the landing, and +went into mother's bedroom. Nurse Marion was there. I shut the door +behind me. + +"How long will mother live?" I said abruptly. I was in the humour not +to walk round anything that day; I wanted to hear the truth, the +whole truth, and nothing but the truth. + +Nurse Marion looked at me in astonishment. + +"You don't look well yourself, Miss Wickham," she answered. + +"Never mind about me," I replied, "answer my question. If nothing +harms her, if she gets no shock, how long will my mother live?" + +"She may live for months and months," replied the nurse. + +"And if she gets a shock, a sudden shock?" + +"Ah!" the woman held up her hands ominously, "we must keep her from +any thing of that sort, even a very little agitation would be bad for +her; but I never saw a calmer, sweeter lady. She does not know she is +dying, but why should she be troubled, she is close to God Himself, +she lives in a sort of Paradise." + +"Thank you," I answered. The tears were pressing hard on my eyes, but +I would not let them fall. + +"She thinks all the world of you, Miss Wickham," continued the nurse. +"If she has an anxiety, it is about you; but even for you I do not +think she feels real fear now. You will forgive me for speaking so +frankly, but I can tell, miss, for I have seen much sorrow myself, +that you are perplexed and puzzled and miserable just now, but I +assure you you need not be sorry on your mother's account. She lives +in the Land of Beulah. Have you ever read the 'Pilgrim's Progress'? +You know, of course, to what I allude?" + +"I know to what you allude," I answered; "the Land of Beulah is a +beautiful country, but I am too young to understand about it." + +"We are none of us too young to understand about that," replied the +nurse. "I have been with many people suffering as your mother suffers, +but I never before came across any one quite so gentle, so resigned, +so happy, so peaceful,--_it is the peace of God_." + +"We must keep her as long as we can," I said; "she is the most +precious thing in all the world; we must keep her as long as we ever +can. She must not have a shock nor a care." + +"Of course not," answered the nurse. + +I returned again to the drawing-room, taking some needlework with me. +I sat near mother plying my needle, weaving a pattern with coloured +silks into my embroidery. + +"How lovely the day is!" said mother. She made little remarks of this +sort from time to time, but she did not do what was her invariable +habit, and the fact of her omitting to do this caused me some +surprise. As a rule, whenever she looked at any one, she generally +ended by glancing at father's picture, but to-day she did not once +look at it. This impressed me as so very strange and so unlike her, +that I said-- + +"Can't you see the picture from where you sit?" We always called it +_the_ picture; it was the one picture for us both. + +"I can see it perfectly if I want to," she answered, "but I do not +care to look at it to-day. I see his own face wherever I turn, that is +much more lifelike, and more interesting, and has more varied +expressions than the dear picture can have. He was with me last night, +and he is here now. You cannot see him, West, but I can." + +"Mother," I said, "you talk as if you were ill. Do you think you are +ill?" + +"Oh no, darling, just a little weak, but that soon passes. There is +nothing to be alarmed about, Westenra. The fact of a person being +thoroughly happy does not surely mean that that person is in danger." + +"I am so glad you are happy," I said. + +"I am wonderfully so; it is the glad presence of God Himself, and also +of your dear father. If I have a wish in the world," continued mother +then slowly, and she looked at me as she spoke, "it is to see James +Randolph. I cannot imagine why he does not write. He has been very +good to me, and I like him much. He is a dear fellow, full of courtesy +and chivalry; he has a gentle, tender, brave heart; he would make the +girl he loves happy, very happy. I should like to see him again, and +to thank him." + +I did not dare to tell mother what we all now firmly believed with +regard to Mr. Randolph. I tried to thread my needle, but there was a +mist before my eyes. The needlework nearly fell from my hand. +Suddenly, in the midst of our conversation in the quiet drawing-room, +I heard a commotion. Some one--two people were coming upstairs--the +steps of one were heavy, there was an altercation in the landing, a +voice pleaded with another voice, and the strange voice got loud and +angry. + +I half rose from my seat, and then sat down again. + +"What is the matter?" asked mother; "you look very white, Westenra. Is +there anything wrong?" + +"I don't want strangers to come here just now," I said. + +"But you forget, my dear child, that this is everybody's drawing-room. +This cosy corner is my special seat, but we cannot possibly keep our +boarders out--it is impossible, my darling." + +She had scarcely said the words before the door burst open, and a man +with red hair and red whiskers, in a loud check suit, entered. + +"Ah," he said, "I thought as much; I thought I'd get to headquarters +if I came here. Now, is this lady Mrs. Wickham, and is this young +lady Miss Wickham? Now, Miss Mullins, I will see them for myself, +please; you cannot keep me back; I am determined to have my rights, +and----" + +I rushed towards the door. One glance at mother's face was enough. It +had turned white, the blue look came round her lips, there was a +startled gleam in her eyes. + +"What is it?" she said, and she looked at Jane. + +"Go to her, Jane; stay with her," I said; "I will manage this man. Go +to her, and stay with her." + +Jane went to mother, and I rushed up to the man. + +"I am Miss Wickham," I said; "I know what you want. Come with me into +the next room." + +He followed me, muttering and grumbling. + +"Why shouldn't I see Mrs. Wickham--she is at the head of this +establishment? My name is Allthorp; you are all heavily in my debt, +and I want to know the reason why I don't see the colour of my money." + +"Oh! please do not speak so loud," I implored. + +"Why?" he asked. "I am not mealy-mouthed. I want my money, and I am +not afraid to ask for it." + +"I tell you, you shall have your money, but do not speak so loud. Mrs. +Wickham is ill." + +"Ah, that's a fine excuse. That's what Miss Mullins tried to put me +off with. Miss Mullins seems to be a sort of frost, but I was +determined either to see you or Mrs. Wickham." + +"I am Miss Wickham." + +"And the house belongs to you? I can sue you if I like for my money." + +"Certainly you can, and I hope if you sue any one it will be me. How +much is owed to you?" + +"Eighty-nine pounds, and I tell you what it is, Miss Wickham. It's a +shame when a man works hard from early morning to late at night, a +black shame that he should not be paid what is due to him. I'd like to +know what right you have to take my tea and my coffee, and to eat my +preserved fruits, and to make your table comfortable with my +groceries, when you never pay me one farthing." + +"It is not right," I answered; "it is wrong, and you shall be paid in +full." I took a little note-book and entered the amount. + +"Give me your address," I said; "you shall be paid." + +He did so. + +"I'll give you twenty-four hours," he said. "If at the end of that +time I do not receive my money in _full_, yes, in _full_, mark you, +I'll have a man in. I hear it answered very well in the case of +Pattens, and it shall answer well in my case. So now you have had my +last word." + +He left the room noisily and went downstairs. I waited until I heard +the hall-door slam behind him, and then I went back to mother. She was +leaning back in her chair; her eyes were closed. I bent over her and +kissed her. + +"What is it, West? What did that horrid man want?" + +"He has gone, darling; he won't trouble us any more." + +"But I heard him say something about a _debt_. Is he owed any money?" + +"He was very troublesome because his account was not paid quite as +soon as he wished," I said; "but that is nothing. He shall have a +cheque immediately." + +"But I do hope, dear Miss Mullins," said mother, turning to her and +looking at her fixedly, "that you pay the tradespeople weekly. It is +so much the best plan." + +"Quite so," she answered. + +"This house is doing splendidly, is it not?" said mother. "We shall +make a fortune if we stay on here long enough?" + +"Oh, quite so," answered Miss Mullins. + +I stole out of the room again. Mother looked satisfied, and although +her cheeks were a little too bright in colour, I hoped no grave +mischief was done. + +I ran downstairs. It was nearly four o'clock. I determined to wait in +the hall or in the dining-room, in case any more of those awful +men--wolves, Albert Fanning had called them--should arrive. Mother +must not be troubled: mother must not run such an awful risk again. +Just then I heard steps approaching, and there was the sound of a +latch-key in the hall door. Most of our guests had latch-keys. I do +not know what I noticed in that sound, but I knew who was there. I +entered the hall. Mr. Fanning had come in. He did not expect to see +me, and he started when he saw my face. I had never cared for Mr. +Fanning--never, never. I had almost hated him rather than otherwise; +but at that moment I looked at him as a deliverer. There was no one +there, and I ran up to him. + +"Come into the dining-room," I said. "I must speak to you," and I +caught his hand. His great hand closed round mine, and we went into +the dining-room, and I shut the door. + +"One of them came," I said, "and--and nearly killed mother, and I +promised that he--that he should be paid. His name is Allthorp. He has +nearly killed mother, and he nearly killed me, and--and will you pay +him, and will you pay the others?" + +"Do you mean it?" said Albert Fanning. "Do you mean it? Are you asking +me to do this, clearly understanding?" + +"Clearly, clearly," I said. + +"And may I kiss you, just to make the bond all sure?" + +"You may," I said faintly. He bent forward, and I felt his kiss on my +forehead. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV + +YOU ARE A GOOD MAN + + +Within a week every debt was paid absolutely and in full. Even the +landlord was abundantly satisfied. Jane Mullins lost her look of care, +and became cheerful and fat and good-tempered once more. The boarders, +who had been merry enough and careless enough all through, suspecting +nothing, of course, seemed now to be beside themselves with merriment. +The weather was so fine and the house was so pleasant. Jane Mullins +quite came out of her shell. She told stories of her early life, and +made those boarders who sat near her at dinner quite roar with +laughter, and Captain and Mrs. Furlong also came out of their shells, +and were most agreeable and kind and chatty; and mother came down to +dinner as usual, and sat in the drawing-room as usual, and in the +evenings there was music, and I sang my songs and played my pieces and +wore my very prettiest dresses, and Albert Fanning looked at me, and +looked at me, and Mrs. Fanning nodded approval at me. + +Mrs. Armstrong, too, became strangely mysterious, wreathing her face +in smiles now and then, and now and then looking strangely sour and +disappointed, and Marion Armstrong began to flirt with a young German +who had arrived. We never did want to have foreigners in the +establishment, but he offered to pay a big sum for a certain room, and +Jane said it would be the worst policy to leave him out. He satisfied +Marion Armstrong too, which was another thing to be considered, for +Marion and her mother were the sort of boarders who are always more or +less the backbone of a house like ours. They stay on and on; they pay +their money weekly. They speak of their aristocratic neighbours, and +are mostly advertisements themselves. + +Now that the German, Herr Tiegel, had come, there was certainly very +little chance of Mrs. and Miss Armstrong taking their departure until +the end of the season. + +Jane used to go and have long talks with mother, and spoke about the +future, and the extensions we should make, and Albert and his mother +too talked about possible extensions. Mrs. Fanning whispered darkly to +me that Albert had large ideas now with regard to the boarding-house. + +"It's wonderful, my love, the interest he takes in it," she said; "I +never saw anything like it in the whole course of my life, and for a +publisher too! But his idea is no less than this: When the lease of +the next house falls in, we take it too, and break open doors, and +have the two houses instead of one. He says the two houses will pay, +whereas the one don't, and never could. The boarders, poor things! +think that they are doing us a splendid good turn, but this house +ain't paying, and it never will, my love." + +To these sort of remarks I never made any answer. I was quite +cheerful; I had to be cheerful for mother's sake, and it was only at +night I let myself go. Even then I tried hard to sleep well and to +shut away the future. + +Albert Fanning and I, by tacit consent, hardly ever met alone, and +that future life which we were to lead together, when a year had +expired, was not spoken of between us. A fortnight, however, after all +the debts had been paid, and the house had been put upon a very sure +and very firm foundation once more, Mrs. Fanning came softly to me +where I was sitting in the drawing-room. + +"Do you mind going into the little room for a moment," she said. + +The little room was on the same floor, it was the room where I had +seen Althorp on that dreadful day when I had bound myself in a bondage +in many ways worse than death. + +"Why?" I asked, looking at her with frightened eyes. She took my hand +and patted it softly. + +"You are a very good girl and a very brave one," she said, "and +there's nothing Albert and I wouldn't do for you. Albert wants to have +a chat with you, he's waiting in the other room; you go along, dear. +Oh, after the first blush you won't mind a bit; go, dear, go." + +I looked at mother, who was talking with Mrs. Furlong. The whole room +was peaceful and quiet, a good many of the boarders were out, for it +was now the height of the season and almost midsummer. The windows +were wide open. I caught mother's eye for an instant; mother smiled at +me. Of late she used to wear a very far away look. There was often an +expression in her eyes which seemed to say that she and father were +holding converse. I caught that glance now, and it steadied my own +nerves, and stilled the rebellion at my heart. I got up steadily. Had +my stepping down--oh, had my stepping down led to this? It was a +bitter thought, and yet when I looked at mother, and felt that I had +saved her from intolerable anguish and perhaps sudden death, I felt +that it was worth while. I went into the next room. + +Albert Fanning, before our engagement--(oh yes, of course, we were +engaged, I must use the hated word)--Albert before our engagement had +thought little or nothing of his dress, but now he was extremely +particular. An evening suit had been made to fit his tall ungainly +person by one of the best tailors in the West End. He was wearing it +now, and his light flaxen hair was standing up straighter than ever, +and he had a kind of nervous smile round his lips. When he saw me +enter he came forward and held out his hand. + +"Well," he said, "and how is Westenra? Sit down, won't you?" + +I did sit down; I sat where some of the summer breeze coming in from +across the Square garden could fan my hot cheeks. I sat down +trembling. He stood perfectly still an inch or two away from me. He +did not attempt to take my hand again. After a pause, being surprised +at his stillness, I looked up at him; I saw his blue eyes fixed on my +face, with a very hungry expression. I sighed heavily. + +"Oh," I said, "you have been so very good, and I have never even +thanked you." + +"You never have after, just the first day," he said; "but I did not +expect thanks. Thanks were not in the bond, _you_ were in the bond, +you know. That is all I want." + +He sat down then near me, and we both must have felt the same summer +breeze blowing on our faces. + +"I am picturing the time when the year is out," he said slowly, "when +you and I are away together in the country. I never cared much for the +country, nor for nature, nor for anything of that sort, but I think I +should like those things if you were with me. You embody a great deal +to me, you make poetry for me. I never knew what poetry was before. I +never cared for anything but nonsense rhymes and matters of that sort, +until I met you, but you make poetry and beauty for me and all the +best things of life. There is nothing I won't promise to do for you +when you come to me, and in the meantime----" + +"Yes," I said, "in the meantime." + +"If you are certain sure, Westenra, that you are going to keep your +bond, why, I--I won't worry you more than I can help just at present." + +"Certain sure that I am going to keep my bond? Yes, I am sure," I +said. "Would I take your money and, and deceive you? Would I have +asked you to save us and deceive you? No, no; you think I am good. I +am not specially good, but I am not so low as that." + +"Dear child," he said, and now he took my hand and stroked it softly. +He did not squeeze it, or draw it near to him, but he laid it on one +of his own huge palms and kept on stroking it. + +"The very prettiest little paw I ever saw in my life," he said then; +"it's wonderful how slim it is, and how long, and how white, and what +little taper fingers; it's wonderful. I never saw anything like it. +You are a poem to me, that's just what you are, Westenra, you are a +poem to me, and you will make a new man of me, and you will keep the +bond, won't you, dear?" + +"I will," I said. + +"I have put down the date," he said; "I put it down in my note-book; I +am going to keep it _always_ by me; it is writ in my heart too. I +declare I am getting poetical myself when I look at you. It's writ in +my heart in gold letters. It was the 18th of May when you promised +yourself to me, dear. May is not a lucky month to marry in, so we will +marry on the first of June of next year. You'll promise me that, won't +you?" + +"Yes," I said. + +"And in the meantime very likely you would rather not have it known." + +"It has been most kind and generous of you and Mrs. Fanning not to +speak of it," I answered. + +"Just as you like about that; but I can see that, with the care of +your mother and one thing or another you find me rather in the way, so +I thought I would tell you that I am going off, I am going to Germany +to begin with for a fortnight, and then I shall take lodgings in town. +Oh, the house at Highgate won't hold me until it holds my little wife +as well, but I won't live in this house to be a worry to you morning, +noon, and night. And when I am not always there perhaps you'll think +of me, and how faithful I am to you, and how truly, truly I love you; +and you will think, too, of what you are to me, a poem, yes, that's +the right word, a beautiful poem, something holy, something that makes +a new man of me, the most lovely bit of a thing I ever saw. Sèvres +china is nothing to you. I have seen dainty bits of art sold at +Christy's before now, but there never was anything daintier than you +before in the world, and I love you, there! I have said it. It means a +good deal when a man gives all his love to a woman, and I give it all +to you; and when everything is said and done, Westenra, bonny as you +are, and lovely, and dainty as you are, you are only a woman and I am +only a man." + +"I think," I said suddenly, and I found the tears coming into my eyes +and stealing down my cheeks, "that you are one of the best men I ever +met. I did not think it. I will tell you frankly that I used to regard +you as commonplace, and--as vulgar. I saw nothing but the commonplace +and the vulgar in you, but now I do see something else, something +which is high, and generous, and even beautiful. I know that you are a +good man, a very good man. I don't love you yet, but I will try; I +will try at least to like you, and on the first of June next year I +will be your wife." + +"Thank you, dear," he replied, "you could not have spoken clearer and +plainer and more straight if you were to study the matter for ever and +ever. Now I know where I am, and I am contented. With your sweet +little self to take pattern by, I have not the slightest doubt that +I'll win that golden heart of yours yet. I mean to have a right good +try for it anyhow. The mater will be so pleased when I tell her how +nicely you spoke to me to-night. I am off to Germany first thing in +the morning; you won't see me for a fortnight, and I won't write to +you, Westenra; you'd be worried by my letters, and I cannot express +what I feel except when you are there. I won't even kiss you now, for +I know you would rather not, but perhaps I may kiss your hand." + +He raised my hand to his lips; I did not look at him, I slowly left +the room. He was very good, and I was very fortunate. Oh yes, although +my heart kept bleeding. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +HAND IN HAND + + +Mr. Fanning went away and Mrs. Fanning took care of me. She openly did +this; she made a tremendous fuss about me, but she never by word or +deed alluded to my engagement to her son Albert. She did not talk +nearly so much as in former times of her son; perhaps he had told her +that I was not to be worried, but she was very good and very nice, and +I got sincerely attached to her: and I never saw the Duchess nor Lady +Thesiger nor my old friends, although I heard that the Duchess was +fairly well again, and was out and going into society; and every one +now seemed certain that Jim Randolph had gone to the bottom in the +_Star of Hope_, but by universal consent the boarders decided that the +news should be kept from mother, and mother grew much better. The +weather was so fine she was able to go out. We got a bath chair for +her and took her out every day; and the boarding-house was thronged, +absolutely thronged with guests; and by Mrs. Fanning's suggestion Miss +Mullins put up the prices, and very considerably too, for the London +season, but the boarders paid what they were asked willingly, for the +house was so sweet and so bright and so comfortable; and Jane had her +moment of triumph when she saw that No. 14 in the next street was +beginning to imitate us, to put up sun blinds, and even to fix +balconies on to the windows, and to have the same hours for meals; and +the ladies who kept No. 14 called one day and asked to see Jane +Mullins. Jane did give them a spice of her mind, and sent them away +without any information whatever with regard to her plans. + +"I could not tell them to their faces," said Jane to me that day, +"that it wasn't I. I am just a homely body, and can only do the rough +homely work; I didn't tell them that it was because I had a lady who +had the face of an angel and the ways of a queen in the drawing-room, +and a young lady, the princess, her daughter, that the boarding-house +prospered. I never let out to them that because you two are real +ladies, and know how to be courteous and sympathetic and sweet, and +yet to uphold your own dignity through everything, that the place was +always full. No, I never told them that. What cheek those Miss +Simpsons had to try to pick my brains!" + +Yes, undoubtedly, whether we were the cause or not, things seemed to +be flourishing, and mother enjoyed her life; but one evening towards +the end of June she began to talk of old times, of the Duchess, and +the friends she knew in Mayfair, and then quite quietly her +conversation turned to a subject ever I believe near her heart, James +Randolph and his friendship for her. + +"He ought to be back now," she said. "I have counted the months, and +he ought to be in England many weeks ago. I cannot understand his +silence and his absence." + +I did not answer. Mother looked at me. + +"He was fond of you, West," she said. + +My heart gave a great throb and then stood still. I bent my head, but +did not reply. + +"He never wished me to tell you," said mother. "He felt, and I agreed +with him, that it would be best for him to speak to you himself. He +said that he would be back in England early in April at the latest, +and then he would speak to you. But he gave me to understand that if +for any reason his return was delayed I might act on my own +discretion, and tell you what comforts me beyond all possible words, +and what may also cheer you, for I can scarcely think, my darling, +that the love of a man like that would be unreturned by a girl like +you, when once you knew, Westenra, when once you surely knew. Yes, he +loves you with all his great heart, and when he comes back you will +tell him----" + +"Oh don't, mother," I interrupted, "oh don't say any more." + +My face, which had been flushed, felt white and cold now, my heart +after its one wild bound was beating low and feebly in my breast. + +"What is it, West?" said mother. + +"I would rather----" I began. + +"That he told you himself? Yes, yes, that I understand. Whenever he +comes, West, take your mother's blessing with the gift of a good man's +heart. He has relieved my anxieties about you, and his friendship has +sweetened the end of a pilgrimage full--oh, full to overflowing--of +many blessings." + +Mother lay quite quiet after these last words, and I did not dare to +interrupt her, nor did I dare to speak. After a time she said gently-- + +"Your father came to me again last night. He sat down by me and held +my hand. He looked very happy, almost eager. He did not say much about +the life he now leads, but his eyes spoke volumes. I think he will +come back to-night. It is quite as though we had resumed our old happy +life together." + +Mother looked rather sleepy as she spoke, and I bent down and kissed +her, and sat with her for some little time. I saw that she was in a +sound sleep, and her lips were breaking into smiles every now and +then. She had been so well lately that we had sent Nurse Marion away, +for her services seemed to be no longer required. + +After sitting with mother until nearly midnight I went up to my own +room. I sat down then and faced the news that mother had given me. + +"I always knew it," I said to myself, "but I would not put it into +words before; I always guessed it, and I was happy, although I +scarcely knew why. Yes, I have put it into words at last, but I must +never do so again, for on the 1st of June next year I am to marry +Albert Fanning, and he is a good man, and he loves me." + +I stayed awake all night, and early in the morning went downstairs. I +entered mother's room. I felt anxious about her, and yet not anxious. +The room was very still, and very cool and fresh. The windows were +open and the blinds were up; mother always liked to sleep so, and the +lovely summer air was filling the room, and there was a scent of +heliotrope and roses from the flowering plants on the verandah. Mother +herself was lying still as still could be on her bed. Her eyes were +shut, and one of her dear white hands was lying outside the coverlet. +It was partly open, as though some one had recently clasped it and +then let it go. + +I went up to the bedside and looked down at mother. One glance at her +face told me all. Some one _had_ clasped her hand, but he had not let +it go. Hand in hand my father and mother had gone away, out through +that open window, away and away, upward where the stars are and the +Golden Gates stand open, and they had gone in together to the Land +where there is no Death. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + +TOO LATE + + +On the evening of mother's funeral, I was sitting in the little room. +I had the little room quite to myself, Jane had arranged that. I had +gone through, I thought, every phase of emotion, and I was not feeling +anything just then; I was sitting quiet, in a sort of stupor. The days +which had intervened between mother's death and her funeral had been +packed full of events. People had come and gone. Many kind words had +been said to me. Mr. Fanning had arrived, and had taken my hand once +again and kissed it, and looked with unutterable sorrow into my eyes; +and then, seeing that I could not bear his presence, had gone away, +and Mrs. Fanning had opened her arms, and taken me to her heart, and +sobbed on my neck, but I could not shed a tear in return; and Captain +and Mrs. Furlong had been more than kind, and more than good; and the +Duchess had arrived one morning and gone into the room where mother +lay (that is, what was left of mother), and had sobbed, oh, so +bitterly, holding mother's cold hand, and kissing her cheek; and then +she had turned to me, and said-- + +"You must come home with me, Westenra, you must come away from here, +you are my charge now." + +But I refused to leave mother, and I even said-- + +"You neglected her while she was alive, and now you want to take me +away from her, from the last I shall ever see of her beloved face." + +"I could not come; I did not dare to," said the Duchess, "it was on +account of Jim. I have been grieving for Jim, and I thought I should +have let his death out to her; so I had to stay away, but my heart was +aching, and when I heard that she--that she had gone--I"--and then the +Duchess buried her face in her hands, and sobbed, oh, so bitterly. But +I could not shed a tear. + +The Duchess and the Duke both went to the funeral, which made a great +impression on all the guests in the boarding-house; and Lady Thesiger +went; I saw her at a little distance, as I stood close to mother's +grave; but all these things were over, and father and mother were +together again. That was my only comfort, and I sat in the little +room, and was glad that I could not suffer much more. + +Into the midst of my meditations there came a brisk voice, the door +was opened suddenly, there was a waft of fresh air, and Lady Thesiger +stood near me. + +"You are to come with me at once, Westenra," she said, "the carriage +is at the door, and Miss Mullins, and that good soul, Mrs. Fanning, +are packing your things. You are to come right away from here +to-night." + +I did not want to go. + +I said, "Please leave me, Jasmine, I cannot talk to you now." + +"You need not talk," said Jasmine Thesiger, "but come you must." + +I opposed her as best I could; but I was weak and tired, and half +stunned, and she was all life and energy; and so it came to pass, that +in less than an hour, I found myself driving away in her luxurious +little brougham to her house in Mayfair. She gave me a pretty room, +and was very kind to me. + +"I'll leave you alone, you know," she said; "I don't want to worry you +in any way, but you must not stay at the boarding-house any longer. +Your mother is dead, and you must come back to your own set." + +"I can never come back to my own set," I answered; "or rather, my set +is no longer yours, Jasmine; I have stepped down for ever." + +"That is folly, and worse than folly," she replied. + +She came and sat with me constantly and talked. She talked very well. +She did her utmost, all that woman could possibly do, to soothe my +trouble, and to draw me out, and be good to me; but I was in a queer +state, and I did not respond to any of her caresses. I was quite dazed +and stupid. After a fortnight I came downstairs to meals just as +usual, and I tried to speak when I was spoken to, but the cloud on my +spirit never lifted for a single moment. + +It was now the middle of July, and Jasmine and her husband were +talking of their summer trip. They would go away to Scotland, and they +wanted me to go with them. I said I would rather not, but that fact +did not seem to matter in the very least. They wanted me to go; they +had it all arranged. I declared that I must go back to Jane to the +boarding-house, but they said that for the present I belonged to them. +I thought to myself with a dull ache, which never rose to absolute +pain, how soon they would give me up, when they knew that I was +engaged to Albert Fanning. I had not mentioned this fact yet, though +it was on the tip of my tongue often and often. Still I kept it to +myself. No one knew of our engagement but Jane Mullins, who, of +course, guessed it, and Mrs. Fanning and Albert himself. I respected +the Fannings very much for keeping my secret so faithfully, and I +respected them still more for not coming to see me. + +On a certain evening, I think it was the 15th of July--I remember all +the dates of that important and most terrible time; oh, so well--I was +alone in Jasmine's drawing-room. Jasmine and her husband had gone to +the theatre; they had expressed regret at leaving me, but I was glad, +very glad, to be alone. I sat behind one of the silk curtains, and +looked with a dull gaze out into the street. It was between eight and +nine o'clock, and the first twilight was over everything. I sat quite +still, my hand lying on my black dress, and my thoughts with mother +and father, and in a sort of way also with Mr. Fanning and my future. +I wished that I could shut away my future, but I could not. I had done +what I had done almost for nothing. Mother's life had only been +prolonged a few weeks. My one comfort was, that she had gone to her +rest in peace, quite sure with regard to my future, and quite happy +about me and my prospects. She was certain, which indeed was the case, +that I loved James Randolph, and that whenever he returned, we would +marry; and if by any chance his return was delayed the boarding-house +was doing well, and my temporal needs were provided for. Yes, she had +all this comfort in her dying moments, so I could scarcely regret what +I had done. + +I sat on by the window, and thought vaguely of mother, and not at all +vaguely of Albert Fanning; he was a good man, but to be his wife! my +heart failed me at the terrible thought. + +Just then I heard the door of the room softly open, and close as +softly; there came a quick step across the floor, a hand pushed aside +my curtain, and raising my eyes I saw James Randolph. He looked just +as I had seen him before he went away; his eyes were full of that +indescribable tenderness, and yet suppressed fun, which they so often +wore; his cheeks were bronzed, he had the alert look of a man who had +gone through life, and seen many adventures. And yet with all that, he +was just as he always was. It seemed the most natural thing in the +world to have him close to me, and I scarcely changed colour; and, +after a moment's pause, said quietly-- + +"Then you did not die, after all?" + +"No," he replied. He spoke in a cheerful, matter-of-fact, everyday +voice. + +"I was delayed," he said, "but I have come back at last." Then he +dropped into a chair near me. "I went to 17 Graham Square," he said, +"and they said you were here. I did not ask a single question. I came +straight on here. Am I too late? Don't tell me I am too late." + +"Oh, you know it," I answered, "you must know it, you are quite, quite +too late--too late for everything, for everything!" + +There was a sob in my voice, but I would not let it rise. I saw his +brow darkening to a frown of perplexity and alarm, and I turned my +eyes away. Had he interpreted a double meaning in my words? Did he +really even now guess that he was too late for everything? + +"Tell me about your mother," he said, in a choking voice; "is +she----?" + +He looked at me, and I pointed to my black dress. He uttered a sharp +exclamation of pain, and then said slowly-- + +"I understand, Westenra, I am too late; but, thank God, not too late +for everything." + +As he said this I think the bitterness of death passed over me; for +was he not now quite too late for everything--for the love which I +could have given him, for the joy which we might both have shared, had +he only come back a little sooner. I almost wished at that bitter +moment that he had never returned, that he had really died. The next +instant, however, a revulsion came over me, and I found that I was +glad, very glad, that he was alive, that he was in the land of the +living, that I had a chance of seeing him from time to time. + +"To-night," I said to myself, "I will not allow anything to temper my +joy. He has come back, he is alive. No matter though I must never be +his wife, I am glad, glad to see him again." + +"I will tell you all about what kept me," he continued, for he half +read my thoughts. "We were wrecked, as of course you saw in the +papers, off Port Adelaide, and nearly every soul on board perished." + +"But your name was not in the lists," I answered. + +"That can be accounted for," he said, "by the fact that I had only +come on board a couple of hours before at Adelaide, and doubtless the +purser had not time to enter my name. I had no intention of taking +passage in that special liner until the morning of the day when the +wreck occurred. Well, the captain went down with the ship, and only +one woman, two children, myself, and some of the sailors wore rescued. +As the ship went down I was struck by a spar on my head and badly +injured. When I was finally picked up I was quite unconscious, and for +six weeks and more I was in hospital at Adelaide. As soon as ever I +was well enough I took the first boat home; and here I am, Westenra, +in time--oh, I hope in time--for the best of all. But tell me, how +have things been going? I have been more anxious than I can say. There +must have been money difficulties. You can little imagine what I went +through. Can you bear just to speak of your mother? And can you bear +to tell me how 17 Graham Square has been going?" + +"We had hard times, but we pulled through," I answered briefly. + +"Did you?" he cried, with a sigh of relief; "what a wonderful creature +Jane Mullins is! What an extraordinary head for business she +possesses! I must go and see her to-morrow, or--or to-night." + +"Don't go to-night," I said, and I stretched out my hand a very little +and then drew it in again; but he saw the gesture, and suddenly his +strong brown hand took mine and closed over it and held it firmly. + +"Then I am in time, in time for the best of all," he said, and he gave +a sigh straight from the bottom of his heart. "Now, I must tell you +something. Will you listen?" + +I drew my hand away, he dropped it, looked at me with a hurt +expression, and then went on hurriedly, "I have got something to +confess to you." + +"I am listening," I said. + +"Perhaps you have guessed the truth. I have a great deal to answer +for. I cannot tell you how I have reproached myself. I have always +taken an interest in you and in your mother. Even as a schoolboy at +Eton this has been the case." + +"But why?" I asked. + +"Did you never know--I hoped not, but your mother knew, only I begged +of her not to tell you--I am the son of the man whose life your father +saved? His name was Chaloner then, but with some property he changed +it to the one which I now bear, and I have been called Randolph almost +the whole of my life. When my father died he gave me a charge. He said +if ever the time came when you or your mother were in difficulties or +peril or danger, I was to remember what your gallant father had done +for him. He need not have told me, for the deed had always excited my +keenest admiration; but I never came across you until that day when, +by the merest chance, I was at the house-agents when you came in. I +heard your name and I guessed who you were, but I did not dare to look +at you then. I felt strangely overpowered. + +"I went away, but I came back again shortly afterwards, and, forgive +me, child, I overheard a great deal of your scheme, and I remembered +my father's words and determined to help you. It was I who sought Jane +Mullins. Her people had been old retainers of ours, and she had always +worshipped the ground on which I walked. I told her exactly what I +meant to do, and she helped me straight through at once. The money +which smoothed matters with the landlord and enabled you to take the +house, was really my money, money which I had inherited from my +mother, but which was invested in Australian stocks. At that time +these stocks were paying a high dividend, and everything seemed to be +going well; but you had not been three months in the boarding-house +before the bank in Melbourne which held such a large amount of my +money went smash, and I was obliged to go over to secure what was +left. The blow was most sudden, and I had no one to help me. I gave +Jane Mullins what little money I had left, and went to Australia. I +quite hoped I should be back before--before any great trouble came to +you. I rescued a large portion of my money, and hoped that everything +was all right. Then came the shipwreck, the danger, the awful fight +with death in the hospital, the final home-coming, and now--now I find +that I shall never see your mother again. What did she think of my +long absence, my enforced silence, Westenra? What did she feel about +me?" + +"She always hoped you would come back, and she always loved you," I +said slowly. + +"Did she tell you nothing more?" + +No colour could come to my face; my heart was too cold, too bitterly +cold, too despairing. + +"She told me something more," I said in a whisper. He bent close to +me. + +"That I love you, darling--that I have loved you from the first moment +I saw your face--that I love your courage, and your dear, dear self? I +am a wealthy man now, Westenra. Money has come to me while I have been +away, and I am a wealthy man and in your set, and--and will you come +to me, darling? Will you make me happy--will you? Oh! I know you love +me--I feel you do. You will come to me?" + +But I started up. + +"I cannot," I said. + +"You cannot! Then you do not love me?" + +I made a great struggle. Never in the whole course of my life did I +make a struggle like that. My struggle was to keep my lips closed; but +I looked wildly up at Jim, and Jim looked at me, and the next moment, +against my will, perhaps against his will, I was in his arms, and my +head was on his breast. + +"You love me; there is your answer," he said. "You need not say any +more. You have gone through much. Oh! I am happy, and I will take +such care of you, little West. I have loved you for so long, and so +deeply." + +But I managed to wrest myself away. + +"I cannot go to you," I said, "and I have never said----" + +"You must say it now," he answered. "You do love me?" + +"Yes, but I cannot marry you; it is too late. Oh! you have been good, +but there is nothing to be said; it is too late. It is as much too +late as if I were dead--dead, as mother is dead. Oh! I can say no +more." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +THIS DEAR GIRL BELONGS TO US + + +I forget all about the night that followed. I also forget the next +day. I think I stayed in my room most of the time, but the day +following I went down to the drawing-room. London was already emptying +fast. Jim had not come back. I sat in the drawing-room wondering what +was going to happen, feeling that something must happen soon--a great +catastrophe--a great shattering of that castle in the air which I had +built so proudly a few months ago. While I was sitting there Jasmine +bustled in. + +"Now that is good, West," she said. "You are better. I want to have a +little chat with you." + +I raised my eyes. I knew very well what she was going to talk about, +but I was not prepared to tell the whole truth yet. There was one +matter I kept in reserve--my engagement to Albert Fanning. Whether I +did right or wrong, the announcement of that extreme news could not +pass my lips. I often struggled to tell it, but never yet had I been +able. I knew, of course, that if Jim came to see me again I must tell +him everything, but I hoped in my mad misery that he would not come +again. Then the next hour I hoped the other way. I longed most +passionately to see him, and so I was torn from hour to hour and from +minute to minute with longings and doubts and despairs; but all +through everything, I kept my secret untold within my breast. + +"It is so nice about Jim Randolph," said Jasmine, sitting down near +me. "Do you know that when Sir Henry Severn dies, Jim will be the +successor to the baronetcy. While Jim was away in Australia, Sir +Henry's son Theodore died quite suddenly. It was awfully sad, and now +James is the next in succession. Sir Henry wishes him to live either +with him at Severn Towers, in Somersetshire, or to have a house close +by. James went down yesterday to see the old man, and will probably be +coming back to-morrow. He was very sorry to leave you, but he had to +go. He will be a rich man in the future, for Sir Henry Severn is very +wealthy. It is a grand chance for Jim. He never for a moment supposed +that the title would come to him." + +I sat silent. I had a little ring on my finger--a very plain ring, +with one tiny diamond in it. It had been given to me by Albert +Fanning. I would not allow him to give me a flashy or showy ring, as +he wanted to do, and I think he would gladly have spent a couple of +hundred pounds on my engagement-ring, but I would not have it, not +until the whole thing was known, then he might lavish jewellery on me +as much as he pleased for all I cared. I twisted the little ring +round and thought of my bond, and said after a pause-- + +"I do grieve about one thing, and that is that mother did not see Mr. +Randolph before she died." + +"But she always knew about everything. It is an open secret," said +Jasmine. "I cannot imagine, Westenra, why you are so reserved with me. +Every one knows. The Duchess knows, your mother knew, I know that +James loves you, that he has loved you for months and months. What +else would have taken a young man like James, a man of the world, so +polished, so distinguished, so charming, to live in a place like +Graham Square? Besides, dear, he has told you himself, has he not?" + +I felt myself turning white. + +"He has told you, has he not?" repeated Jasmine. + +"I would rather not say," I replied. + +"Your face tells me; besides, I saw the Duchess yesterday, and she +said that she was so happy, for now you would be back again in your +own set. You will make a very pretty and graceful Lady Severn." + +"I care nothing whatever about that," I said, and I jumped up and +walked to the window. "I hate titles," I continued. "I hate rank; I +hate the whole thing. It is humbug, Jasmine; humbug. Why is it +necessary for us all to class together in Mayfair, or to live in large +houses in the country, in order to love each other? Why should we not +go on loving, whatever our worldly position? Oh! it is cruel; the +whole thing is cruel." + +"But you ought to be rejoiced about James," continued Jasmine, who did +not evidently think it worth her while even to answer my last words. +"He has come back; he is quite well. In a few years at latest he will +be Sir James Severn, for of course he must take the name with the +baronetcy, and you will be his pretty wife. Doubtless he will want to +marry you very soon--as soon, I mean, darling, as you can bring +yourself to go to him after your dear mother's death; but I knew your +mother quite well enough, Westenra, to be sure that the sooner you +made yourself happy the better pleased she would be, and you will be +happy with such a good man. Why, he is a catch in a thousand. I cannot +tell you how many girls are in love with him, and I never saw him talk +to any one or flirt the least bit in the world except with your +charming self. You are lucky, Westenra; very lucky." + +I went now and stood by the window, and as I stood there I felt my +heart give a great thump, and then go low down in my breast. I turned +impulsively. + +"I--I am not quite well," I began; but then I hastily thought that I +must see it out. The moment had come when Jasmine Thesiger was to have +all her doubts answered, her questions replied to, and my future would +be clear in her eyes, for I had seen the chocolate-coloured brougham +draw up at the door, and Mrs. and Mr. Fanning get out. + +"What is the matter? Are you ill?" said Jasmine. + +"No, no; I am quite well," I replied. I sank down on a chair. "I only +saw some visitors just arrive," I continued. + +"Visitors at this hour! I will tell Tomkins we are not at home." + +"It is too late," I answered; "they are coming up. They are friends of +mine." + +"All right, child; but how queer you look," Jasmine gazed at me in +great astonishment. + +I hoped earnestly that I did not show my emotion too plainly, when the +next moment the door was thrown open by Lady Thesiger's smart servant, +and Mrs. and Mr. Fanning walked in. + +Mrs. Fanning had put on black on my account. She had told me that she +meant to go into mourning, as we were practically relations already. I +had begged of her not, but she had not regarded my wishes in the +least. She was in a heavy black serge dress, and a voluminous cape +which came down nearly to her knees, and she had a black bonnet on, +and her face was all beaming and twinkling with affection and sympathy +and suppressed happiness. And Albert Fanning, also in a most +melancholy suit of black, with his hair as upright as ever, came up to +my side. I heard his usual formula-- + +"How is Westenra?" and then I found myself introducing him and his +mother to Lady Thesiger, and Lady Thesiger gave a haughty little bow, +and then sat down, with her eyes very bright, to watch events. Perhaps +already she had an inkling of what was about to follow. + +"We have come," said Mrs. Fanning, looking at her son and then +glancing at me, "to tell you, Westenra, that we think you had better +arrange to spend your holidays with us. Considering all things, it +seems most fitting." + +"What I say is this," interrupted Albert Fanning. "Westenra must do as +she pleases. If she likes to come with us to Switzerland we shall be, +I need not say, charmed; but if she prefers to stay with her +ladyship"--here he gave a profound bow in the direction of Lady +Thesiger--"we must submit. It is not in the bond, you know, mother, +and anything outside the bond I for one debar." + +"You always were so queer, my son Albert," said Mrs. Fanning, who had +lost her shyness, and now was determined to speak out her mind fully. + +"It's this way, your ladyship," she continued, turning to Lady +Thesiger. "I may as well be plain, and I may as well out with the +truth. This pretty young girl, this dear girl, belongs to us. She does +not belong to you--she belongs to us." + +"No, no, mother; you are wrong there," cried Mr. Fanning; "she does +not belong to us at present." + +"It's all the same," said Mrs. Fanning; "don't talk nonsense to me. +When a girl is engaged to a man--" + +"Engaged! Good heavens!" I heard Lady Thesiger mutter, and then she +sat very still, and fixed her eyes for a moment on my face, with a +sort of glance which seemed to say, "Are you quite absolutely mad?" + +"Yes, engaged," continued Mrs. Fanning. "It is a very queer +engagement, it seems to me, but it is a _bonâ fide_ one for all that." + +"As _bonâ fide_," said Mr. Fanning, with a profound sigh, "as there is +a sky in the heavens. As _bonâ fide_ as there is a day and a night; as +_bonâ fide_ as that I am in existence; but the marriage is not to be +consummated until the 1st of June of next year. That is in the bond, +and we have nothing to complain of if--if Westenra"--here his voice +dropped to a sound of absolute tenderness--"if Westenra would rather +not come with us now." + +"Please explain," said Lady Thesiger. "I knew nothing of this. Do you +mean to tell me, madam, that my friend Westenra Wickham is engaged +to--to whom?" + +"To my son Albert," said Mrs. Fanning, with great emphasis and with +quite as much pride as Lady Thesiger's own. + +"Is that the case, Westenra?" continued Jasmine, looking at me. + +I bowed my head. I was silent for a moment; then I said, "I am engaged +to Albert Fanning. I mean to marry him on the 1st of June next year." + +"Then, of course, I have nothing to say. Do you wish to go away with +the Fannings, Westenra? You must do what you wish." + +I looked at her and then I looked at Mrs. Fanning, and then I looked +at Albert, whose blue eyes were fixed on my face with all the soul he +possessed shining out of them. He came close to me, took my hand, and +patted it. + +"You must do just as you please, little girl," he said; "just exactly +as you please." + +"Then I will write and let you know," I answered. "I cannot tell you +to-day." + +"That is all right--that is coming to business," said Mrs. Fanning; +"that is as it should be. Albert, we are not wanted here, and we'll +go. You'll let us know to-morrow, my dearie dear. Don't keep us +waiting long, for we have to order rooms in advance at the big hotels +in Switzerland at this time of year. Your ladyship, we will be wishing +you good morning, and please understand one thing, that though we may +not be quite so stylish, nor quite so up in the world as you are, yet +we have got money enough, money enough to give us everything that +money can buy, and Westenra will have a right good time with my son +Albert and me. Come, Albert." + +Albert Fanning gave me a piteous glance, but I could not reply to it +just then, and I let them both go away, and felt myself a wretch for +being so cold to them, and for their society so thoroughly. + +When they were gone, and the sound of wheels had died away in the +street, Jasmine turned to me. + +"What does it mean?" she cried. "It cannot be true--you, Westenra, +engaged to that man! Jim Randolph wants you; he loves you with all his +heart; he has been chivalrous about you; he is a splendid fellow, and +he is rich and in your own set, and you choose that man!" + +"Yes, I choose Albert Fanning," I said. "I can never marry James +Randolph." + +"But why, why, why?" asked Jasmine. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + +HAVE I LOST YOU? + + +I told her everything, not then, but on the evening of the same day. +She came into my room where I was lying on a sofa, for I was +thoroughly prostrated with grief for my mother and--and other great +troubles, and she held my hand and I told her. I described Jane's +anxiety in the boarding-house, the debts creeping up and up, the +aspect of affairs getting more and more serious; I told her about Mrs. +Fanning and Albert, and the chocolate-coloured brougham, and the drive +to Highgate, and the rooms all furnished according to Albert's taste, +and the garden, and the proposal he made to me there, and my horror. +And then I told her about mother's gradual fading and the certainty +that she would not live long, and the doctor's verdict, and the one +caution impressed and impressed upon me--that she was to have no shock +of any sort, that everything was to be made smooth and right for her. + +I described, further, Jane Mullins' agitation, her despair, her +difficulty in going on at all, the dreadful news which had reached us +with regard to Jim, the almost certainty that he was drowned. + +Then I told her of the awful day when I went to try and borrow a +thousand pounds from the Duchess, and how I could not see the Duchess, +for she was too ill to see any one, all on account of Jim's supposed +death; and then I told her what I found when I came back--the awful +greasy little man in the dining-room--the man in possession. I +described his attitude that day at dinner, and the surprise and +astonishment of the boarders; and then I explained how he had gone and +why he had gone, and I told her of my visit to Albert Fanning in +Paternoster Row, and what Albert Fanning had said, and how kind he was +to me; and, notwithstanding his want of polish, how really chivalrous +he was in his own way, and how really he loved me and wanted to help +me. I made the very best of him, and I went on still further, and told +her of the man who had burst into mother's presence in the +drawing-room, and rudely demanded payment for his debt, and then how I +had yielded, and told Albert Fanning that I would marry him, and how, +after that, everything was smooth, and all the worries about money had +disappeared as if by magic. + +"I gave him my bond," I said at the conclusion. "I said that I would +marry him at the end of a year, and he was satisfied, quite satisfied, +and he paid up everything, and mother went to her grave happy. She was +sure that all was well with me, and indeed I gave her to understand +that all was very well, and she died; and never guessed that 17 Graham +Square was an absolute, absolute failure--a castle in the clouds, +which was tumbling about our heads." + +I paused at the end of my story. Jasmine had tears in her eyes; they +were rolling down her cheeks. + +"Why didn't you come to me, Westenra?" she said; "my husband is very +rich, and we would have lent you the money. Oh! to think that a +thousand pounds could have saved you!" + +"I did not think of you," I replied. "You must acknowledge, Jasmine, +that you were cold and indifferent, and did not help me with a cheery +word, nor with much of your presence, during my time in the +boarding-house; and when the Duchess failed me, troubles came on too +thick and fast to wait for any chance help from outside. I just took +the help that was near, and in my way was grateful." + +"I see," said Jasmine; "it is a most piteous--most terrible story." + +"Do not say that," I answered. "Help me to bear it; don't pity me too +much. Help me to see the best, all the best in those two good people +with whom I am in future to live. Albert Fanning is not polished, he +is not a gentleman outwardly, but he has--O Jasmine! he has in his own +way a gentleman's heart, and his mother is a dear old soul, and even +for Jim I would not break my bond, no, not for fifty Jim Randolphs; +but I love Jim--oh, I love him with all my heart and soul." + +I did not cry as I said the words; I was quite past tears that +evening, and Jasmine continued to sit near me and to talk in soft +tones, and after a time she relapsed into silence, a sort of +despairing silence, and I lay with my eyes closed, for I could not +look at her, and presently I dropped asleep. + +At an early hour the next day I wrote to the Fannings to tell them +that I would go with them to Switzerland. I went and saw Jasmine after +I had written the note. + +"I am going with the Fannings to Switzerland on the 4th of August," I +said; "will this interfere with your plans? I mean, may I stay on here +until they start?" + +"Oh yes, you can stay on here, Westenra," she replied. She looked at +me fixedly. I thought she would say something to dissuade me, but she +did not. She opened her lips once, but no words came. She simply +said-- + +"Is that the letter?" + +"Yes." + +"I am going out," she said then; "I will post it for you." + +"Thank you," I answered. I went back to the drawing-room. I heard +Jasmine go downstairs and out, and then I sat quiet. Everything +seemed to have come to a sort of end; I could not see my way any +further. In a fortnight's time I should have truly stepped down out of +sight of those who were my friends. I should have left them for ever +and ever. It would be a final stepping down for me. Nevertheless, the +faintest thought of being unfaithful to the promise I had made, I am +glad to think now, never for a single moment occurred to me. + +Jasmine returned to lunch, and after lunch we went to the +drawing-room, and she asked me if I would like to drive with her. I +said-- + +"Yes, but not in the Park." Perhaps she guessed what I meant. + +"Jim has come back," she remarked; "I had a line from him, and he +wants to see you this evening." + +"Oh, I cannot see him," I answered. + +"I think you must. You ought to tell him yourself; it is only fair to +him. Tell him just what you told me; he ought to know, and it will +pain him less to hear it from your lips." + +I thought for a moment. + +"What hour is he coming?" I asked then. + +"He will look in after dinner about nine o'clock. I am going to a +reception with Henry; you will have the drawing-room to yourselves." + +I did not reply. She looked at me, then she said-- + +"I have written already to tell him that he can come. It is +absolutely necessary, Westenra, that you should go through this; it +will be, I know, most painful to you both, but it is only just to +him." + +Still I did not answer. After a time she said-- + +"I do not wish to dissuade you; indeed, I cannot myself see how you +can get out of this most mistaken engagement, for the man has behaved +well, and I am the first to acknowledge that; but has it ever occurred +to you that you do a man an absolute and terrible injustice when you +marry him, loving with all your heart and soul another man? Do you +think it is fair to him? Don't you think he ought at least to know +this?" + +"I am sure Albert Fanning ought not to know it," I replied, "and I +earnestly hope no one will ever tell him. By the time I marry him I +shall have"--my lips trembled, I said the words with an effort--"I +shall have got over this, at least to a great extent; and oh! he must +not know. Yes, I will see Jim to-night, for I agree with you that it +is necessary that I should tell him myself, but not again," I +continued; "you won't ask me to see him again after to-night?" + +"You had much better not," she replied; she looked at me very gravely, +and then she went away. Poor Jasmine, she was too restless to stay +much with me. She was, I could see, terribly hurt, but she had not +been gone an hour before the Duchess came bustling in. She was very +motherly and very good, and she reminded me of my own dear mother. +She sat near me, and began to talk. She had heard the whole story. She +was terribly shocked, she could not make it out. She could not bring +herself to realise that her god-daughter was going to marry a man like +Albert Fanning. + +"You ought never to have done it, West, never, never," she kept +repeating. + +At last I interrupted her. + +"There is another side to this question," I said; "you think I did +something mean and shabby when I promised to marry a man like Albert +Fanning. You think I have done something unworthy of your +god-daughter, but don't you really, really believe that you would have +a much poorer, more contemptible, more worthless sort of god-daughter +if she were now to break her bond to the man who saved her mother at +considerable expense--the man who was so good, so kind, so faithful? +Would you really counsel me to break my bond?" + +"No, I would not," said the Duchess, "but I would do one thing, I +would up and tell that man the truth. I would put the thing before him +and let him decide. Upon my word, that's a very good idea. That's what +I would do, Westenra." + +"I will not tell him," I replied. "I have promised to marry him on the +1st of June next year. He knows well that I do not love him, but I +will keep my bond." + +"That is all very fine," said the Duchess. "You may have told him that +you do not love him, but you have not told him that you love another +man." + +"I have certainly not told him that." + +"Then you are unfair to him, and also unfair to James Randolph. You +think nothing at all of breaking his heart." + +"He was away when he might have helped me," I replied. "That was, I +know, through no fault of his, but I cannot say any more except that I +will not break my bond." + +The Duchess went away, and in the evening Jim arrived. He came in with +that very quiet manner which he always wore, that absolute +self-possession which I do not think under any circumstances would +desert him, but I read the anxiety in his grey eyes, the quizzical, +half-laughing glance was gone altogether, the eyes were very grave and +almost stern. + +"Now," he said, "I have come to say very plain words. I want to know +why you will not marry me." + +"Have you not heard?" I asked. + +"I have heard nothing," he answered. "I have been given no reason; you +just told me you could not marry me the other night, and you were so +upset and shaken that I did not press the matter any further. You +know, of course, that I can give you everything now that the heart of +girl could desire." + +"Do not talk of those things," I said. "I would marry you if you had +only a hundred a year; I would marry you if you had nothing a year, +provided we could earn our living together. O Jim! I love you so much, +I love you so much, so much." + +I covered my face with my hands, a deep, dry sob came from my throat. + +"Then if that is so," he answered, half bending towards me and yet +restraining himself, "why will you not marry me?" + +"I cannot, because--because----" + +"Take your own time," he said then; "don't speak in a hurry. If you +love me as you say you love me, and if you know that I love you, and +if you know also, which I think you do, that your mother wished it, +and all your friends wish it, why should not we two spend our lives +together, shoulder to shoulder, dear, in the thick of the fight, all +our lives close together until death does us part? And even death does +not really part those who love, Westenra, so we shall in reality never +be parted if we do so sincerely love. Why should not these things be?" + +"Because I am bound to another man," I said then. + +He started away, a stern look came into his face. + +"Say that again," was his answer, after a full minute of dead silence. + +"I am engaged to another," I said faintly. + +"And yet you have dared to say that you love me?" + +"It is true." + +"In that case you do not love the man to whom you have given your +promise?" + +"I do not." + +"But what does this mean? This puzzles me." + +He put up his hand to his forehead as if to push away a weight. He was +standing up, and the pallor of his face frightened me. + +"I do not understand," he said. "I had put you on a pedestal--are you +going to prove yourself common clay after all? but it is impossible. +Who is the other man?" + +Then I told him. + +He uttered a sharp exclamation, then turned on his heel and walked +away to the window. He stood there looking out, and I looked at him as +his figure was silhouetted against the sky. + +After a time he turned sharply round and came back to me and sat down. +He did not sit close to me as he had done before, but he spoke +quietly, as if he were trying to keep himself in control. + +"This is very sudden and terrible," he said; "very inexplicable too. I +suppose you will explain?" + +"I will," I said. "I knew you were coming to-night; I was cowardly +enough to wish that you would not come, but I will explain." + +"You are engaged to the man I used to see you talking to at 17 Graham +Square?" + +"Yes," I said; "do not speak against him." + +"I would not be so cruel," he answered. "If you have promised +yourself to him, he must merit some respect; tell me the story." + +So I told Jim just the same story I had told Jasmine that morning. I +did not use quite the same words, for he did not take it so calmly. I +had never seen his self-possession shaken before. As my story drew to +an end he had quite a bowed look, almost like an old man; then he said +slowly-- + +"It was my fault; I should not have gone away. To think that you were +subjected to this, and that there was no escape." + +"There was no escape," I said. "Could I have done otherwise?" + +"God knows, child, I cannot say." + +"I could not," I replied slowly. "If you had been me you would have +acted as I have done; there are times when one must forget one's +self." + +"There are, truly," he said. + +"Then you are not dreadfully angry with me, Jim?" + +"Angry?" he said slowly; "angry? You have not given me the worst pain +of all, you have not stepped down from your pedestal, you are still +the one woman for me. But oh! Westenra, have I lost you? Have I lost +you?" + +He bowed his head in his hands. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX + +THE DUCHESS HAS HER SAY + + +I shall never forget as long as I live that sultry 1st of August; +there seemed to be scarcely a breath of air anywhere, all the air of +London had that used-up feeling which those who live in it all the +year round know so well. It was hot weather, hot in the house, hot in +the outside streets, hot in the burnt-up parks, hot everywhere. The +sky seemed to radiate heat, and the earth seemed to embrace it; and we +poor human beings who were subjected to it scarcely knew what to do +with ourselves. + +Even in Jasmine's luxurious house, where all the appliances of comfort +were abundantly in evidence, even there we gasped and thought of the +country with a longing equal to that of thirsty people for water. + +Jasmine and her husband were going away the next day, and the Duchess +was going away too, and I was to join the Fannings on the 4th. I was +to have three more days in Jasmine's house, and then I was to go, I +knew well never to return. I had not seen Jim after that night, nearly +a fortnight ago, when I had told him everything, and from that hour to +now nothing at all had occurred to deliver me from my bondage and +misery. Mrs. Fanning had come twice to see me; she was very bustling +and self-important, and told me honestly that she had a downright +hatred for that airified madam her ladyship. She said that we'd have +an excellent time in Switzerland, going to the very best hotels, +enjoying ourselves everywhere. + +"And you two young engaged creatures will have no end of opportunities +for flirtation," she said; "I won't be much in the way. You may be +quite sure that the old mother will efface herself in order to give +her son and her dear new daughter every possible opportunity for +enjoying life. Ah! my dear, there is no time like the engaged +period--the man makes such a fuss about you then. He don't afterwards, +dear; I may as well be frank, but he don't--the best of 'em even take +you as if you were common clay; but beforehand you're something of an +angel, and they treat you according. It's the way of all men, dear, it +is the way of every single one of 'em. Now Albert, for instance, I +declare at times I scarcely know him. He used to be a matter-of-fact +sort of body, but he is changed in all sorts of ways; and as to the +way he speaks of you, you'd think you weren't common clay at all, that +your feet had never yet touched the earth. He drives me past patience +almost at times; but I say to myself, 'Thank goodness, it won't last.' +That's my one consolation, for I cannot bear those high-falutin' +ideas, although there's nothing Albert does that seems really wrong to +me. He said to me only yesterday, 'Mother, I have a kind of awe over +me when I am with her; she is not like any one else, she is so dainty, +and so----' I declare I almost laughed in his face; but there, I +didn't, and doubtless he has told you those sort of things himself. I +don't want to see you blush. Not that you do blush, Westenra; I must +say you take things pretty cool. I suppose it is breeding. They say it +takes a power of good breeding to get that calm which it strikes me +you have to perfection. I never saw any one else with it except that +Mr. Randolph, who, I hear, wasn't drowned at all, but came back as +safe as ever a few days ago. Well, well, I'm off now. You wouldn't +like to come back to the Métropole to me and Albert the day her +ladyship goes, would you, child? Say out frankly if you have a wish +that way." + +"No," I answered, "I have not a wish that way. I will meet you at +Victoria Station. I would rather stay here until then." + +"Well, well, good-bye, my dearie," said the stout old woman, and she +embraced me with her voluminous arms, and patted me on my cheek. + +But although she came, as I said, twice, Albert did not come at all, +and I thought it extremely nice of him. New proofs of his kindness +were meeting me at every turn. He wrote to me several times, and in +each letter said that he knew perfectly well that I meant to be free +until the year was up, and that he was not going to worry me with +overmuch love-making, or any nonsense of that sort; but he thought I +would like Switzerland, and the change would do me good, and although +he would not say much, and would not even ask me to go out walking +with him unless I wished it, yet I was to be certain of one thing, +that he was ready to lay down his life for me, and that I was the one +thought of his heart, the one treasure of his soul. + +"Poor Albert!" I had almost said, "Poor dear Albert!" when I read that +last letter. How much he had developed since the days when we first +met. It is wonderful what a power love has, how it ennobles and +purifies and sanctifies, and raises, and Albert's love was very +unselfish--how utterly unselfish, I was to know before long. + +But the days went on, and each day seemed a little harder than the +last, until I became quite anxious for the complete break to take +place when I should have parted with my old friends and my old life +for ever. But I knew quite well that even if I did go away, the image +of the man I really loved would remain in my heart. As this was likely +to be a sin by-and-by--for surely I ought not to marry one man and +love another--I must try to fight against all thoughts of Jim, and to +banish the one who would not be banished from my thoughts. + +I have said that the 1st of August came in with tremendous heat; every +window in the house was open, the blinds were all down. Jasmine was +quite fretful and irritable. She pined for Scotland; she said that she +could scarcely contain herself until she got away. + +She and her husband were to go early the next day to the North, and +all arrangements were being made, and the final packing was being +completed. + +The Duchess also was kept in town owing to some special duties, but on +the next day she was also to go. + +She had asked me two or three times to visit her, but I had written to +her begging of her not to press it. + +"I must go through with what I have promised," I said, "and to see you +only pains me. Do forgive me. Perhaps you will see me once when I +return from Switzerland just to say good-bye." + +The Duchess had taken no notice of this letter, and I concluded sadly +that I was never to see her or hear of her again; but as I was sitting +by myself in Jasmine's inner drawing-room on that same 1st of August, +about twelve o'clock in the morning, I was startled when the door was +thrown open, and the dear Duchess came in. She came up to me, put her +arms round me, drew me to her breast, and kissed me several times. She +had not, after all, more motherly arms than Mrs. Fanning, but she had +a different way about her, and before I knew what I was doing, the +feel of those arms, and the warm, consoling touch of her sympathy, +caused me to burst out crying. Mrs. Fanning would not have thought +much of the calm which in her opinion seems to accompany good breeding +had she seen me at that moment. But the Duchess knew exactly what to +do. She did not speak until I was quieter, and then she made me lie on +the sofa, and took my hand and patted it. + +"I am thinking of you, Westenra, almost all day long," she said +solemnly. "I am terribly concerned about you. Have you got a +photograph of that man anywhere near?" + +"I have not got one," I replied. + +"He never sent you his photograph? I thought they always did." + +"He would have liked to. He is very patient, and he is very fond of +me, you need not be anxious about me, it is just----" + +"But it is the giving of you up, child, that is so painful, and the +want of necessity of the whole thing. Sometimes I declare I am so +impatient with----" + +But what the Duchess meant to say was never finished, for the +drawing-room door was opened once more and the footman announced Mr. +Fanning. + +Albert Fanning entered in his usual, half assured, half nervous style. +He had a way of walking on his toes, so that his tall figure seemed to +undulate up and down as he approached you. He carried his hat in his +hand, and his hair was as upright as usual, his face white, his blue +eyes hungry. He was so anxious to see me, and this visit meant so much +to him, that he did not even notice the Duchess. He came straight up +to me, and when he saw that my cheeks were pale and my eyes red from +recent crying, he was so concerned that he stooped, and before I could +prevent him gave me the lightest and softest of kisses on my cheek. + +"I could not keep away," he said, "and I--I have a message from the +mater. Can you listen?" + +I was sitting up, my face was crimson, with an involuntary movement I +had tried to brush away that offending kiss. He saw me do it, and his +face went whiter than ever. + +"Introduce me, Westenra," said the voice of the Duchess. + +In my emotion at seeing Albert Fanning, I had forgotten her, but now I +stood up and made the necessary introduction. Her Grace of Wilmot gave +a distant bow, which Mr. Fanning gravely and with no trace of +awkwardness returned. + +"Won't you sit down?" said the Duchess then; "do you know I have been +most anxious to see you?" + +"Indeed," he replied. He looked amazed and a little incredulous. He +kept glancing from the Duchess to me. I do not know why, but I +suddenly began to feel intensely nervous. There was a gleam in my old +friend's soft brown eyes which I had only seen there at moments of +intense emotion. She evidently was making up her mind to say something +terrible. I exclaimed hastily-- + +"Albert, if you wish to speak to me, will you come into the next room. +You will excuse us for a moment will you not, Duchess?" + +"No, Westenra," she replied, and she rose now herself; "I will not +excuse you. You must stay here, and so must Mr. Fanning, for I have +got something I wish particularly to say to Mr. Fanning." + +"Oh, what?" I cried. "Oh, you will not"--she held up her hand to stop +my torrent of words. + +"The opportunity has come which I have desired," she said, "and I am +not going to neglect it. It need make no difference to either of you, +but at least you, Mr. Fanning, will not marry my dear girl without +knowing how things really are." + +"Oh, please don't speak of it, I implore you, you don't know what +terrible mischief you will do." + +"Hold your tongue, Westenra. Mr. Fanning, this young girl is very dear +to me, I have known her since her birth; I stood sponsor for her when +she was a baby. I take shame to myself for having to a certain extent +neglected her, and also her mother, my most dear friend, during the +few months they lived in 17 Graham Square. I take shame to myself, for +had I done all that I might have done for those whom I sincerely +loved, the calamity which came about need never have occurred." + +"As to that," said Albert Fanning, speaking for the first time, and in +quite his usual assured voice, "it could not help occurring, your +Grace, for the simple fact that the boarding-house never could have +paid, the expenses were greater than the incomings. If you have ever +studied political economy, your Grace will know for yourself that when +you spend more than you receive it spells RUIN." + +The Duchess stopped speaking when Albert Fanning began, and looked at +him with considerable astonishment. + +"Then you knew from the first that the extraordinary scheme of my +young friend could not succeed." + +"I did," he replied, "and I bided my time. I suppose you mean to say +something disagreeable to me; you do not think I am in the running +with her at all, but as far as that goes I have money, and she has not +any, and I love her as I suppose woman never was loved before, and I +will make her happy in my own fashion. And I'll never intrude on her +grand friends, so that her grand friends can come to see her as often +as they like; and as to my mother, she is a right-down good sort, +though she wasn't born in the purple like yourself, your Grace; so, as +far as I am concerned, I do not know what you have to say to me. I +suppose you want to tell me that Westenra here, my pretty little girl, +who is going to give herself to me on the 1st of June next year, does +not care for me, but she will care for me by-and-by, for my feeling is +that love like mine must be returned in the long run, and if after a +year she don't tell your Grace that she is the happiest little wife in +the length and breadth of England, I shall be greatly surprised." + +Here Albert Fanning slapped his thigh in his excitement, and then +stood bolt upright before the Duchess, who in absolute astonishment +stared back at him. + +"That is not the point," she said. "You do not want to marry a girl +who not only does not love you, but who does, with all her heart and +soul, love some one else?" + +"Why, of course not," he replied, and a frightened look came for the +first time into his blue eyes. He turned and faced me. + +"Of course not," he repeated, his eyes still devouring mine; "but +Westenra cares for nobody, I never saw a girl less of a flirt in the +whole course of my life. It is not to be supposed that such a very +pretty girl should not have men fall in love with her, but that is +neither here nor there." + +"You ask her yourself," said the Duchess; "I think from your face that +you seem a very honest good sort of man; you are a publisher, are you +not?" + +"Yes, Madam, I publish books, bright, entertaining books too." + +"I repeat that you seem a very honest upright sort of man, who +sincerely loves my young friend, and honestly wishes to do his best +for her, but I think you will find that there is more behind the +scenes than you are aware of, and, in short, that Westenra ought to +tell you the truth. Tell him the truth now, Westenra." + +"Yes, tell me now, Westenra," he said; "tell me the truth;" and he +faced me once more, and I forced myself to look into his eyes. + +"I know you don't love me just yet," he continued, "but it will come +some day." + +"I will do my very best to love you," I answered; "I will try to be a +good wife to you, Albert." + +"Ay, ay--how sweetly you say those words. May I hold your hand?" + +I gave him my hand--he held it as he always did hold it, as if it were +something very precious and sacred, letting it lie in his palm, and +looking down at it as if it were a sort of white wonder to him. + +"But ask her the question," said her Grace, and then I glanced at the +Duchess and saw that her cheeks were pink with excitement, and her +eyes shining; "ask her that straight, straight question on which all +your happiness depends, Mr. Fanning." + +"I will, your Grace. You do not love me, Westenra, but you will try to +be a good wife to me, and you will try to love me, that is, in the +future. There is no one else whom you love now, is there? I know, of +course, what your reply will be, darling, and it is a hard question to +ask of you, as though I doubted you. There is no one, is there, +Westenra? Speak, little girl, don't be afraid, there is no one?" + +"But there is," I faltered. I covered my face for a moment, then I +checked back my tears and looked at him as steadily as he had looked +at me. + +"There is another," he repeated, "and you--you love him? Who is he?" + +"I won't tell you his name. I shall get over it. I could not help +myself--I promised to marry you, but I never said that I could love +you, for I don't--not now at least, and there is another, but I will +never see him again. It won't make any difference to you, Albert." + +"Yes, but it will," he said, "all the difference on earth." He dropped +my hand as though it hurt him. He turned and faced the Duchess. + +"I suppose you are talking of Mr. Randolph. I quite understand, he +belongs to the set in which she was born, but he deserted her when she +wanted him most. It can scarcely be that she cares for him. There, I +don't want either of you to tell me his name just now. I have heard +enough for the present." + +He strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + +THE END CROWNS ALL + + +"I have done it now," said the Duchess, "God knows what will be the +consequence, but I have at least delivered my soul." + +She had scarcely uttered the words before Albert Fanning strode back +into the room. He was not the least awkward now, he looked quite manly +and dignified. + +"Will you oblige me," he said, looking straight at the Duchess, "by +giving me the address of Mr. James Randolph?" + +"You are not going to do anything," I cried, springing up, "oh, you +are not going to say anything? This has been forced out of me, and I +have not mentioned any one's name." + +"I will do nothing to hurt you, dear," he said very gently, and he +looked at me again, and putting his hand on mine forced me quietly +back into my seat. Then he turned to the Duchess, waiting for her to +give him what he required. + +Her face was very white, and her lips tremulous. She tore a sheet out +of her little gold-mounted note-book, which always hung at her side, +scribbled a few words on it, and handed it to him. + +"I am dreadfully sorry to hurt you, you must believe that," she said. + +He did not make any response. He bowed to her and then left the room. + +"What does it mean? This is terrible," I cried. + +The Duchess looked at me. + +"Will you come home with me, Westenra? it is best for you," she said. +"Come and spend the rest of the day with me." + +"No, I cannot," I answered; "I must stay here. Albert may come back +again. There is no saying what mischief you have done. I cannot think, +I am too miserable, too anxious. Oh, suppose he goes to see Mr. +Randolph, and suppose, suppose he tells him." + +"I believe in his heart that man is a gentleman. Even if you marry him +I shall not be quite so unhappy as I would have been," was the +Duchess's next speech, and then seeing that I was not inclined to say +anything more she left the room. + +I do not know how the rest of the day passed. From the quiet of +despair my mind was suddenly roused to a perfect whirl of anxiety, and +I could not think consecutively. I could plan nothing, I could hope +nothing, but it seemed to me that my journey to Switzerland was +indefinitely postponed, and that my future from being settled in every +detail, month, week, hour, and all, was as indefinite and vague and +shadowy as though I were standing on the brink of the other world. + +Jasmine entered the room at tea-time and asked me what was the matter. +I replied that I had nothing at all fresh to tell her, for I felt that +she must never know what the Duchess had told Albert Fanning. She +gazed at me as I spoke as though I were a source of irritation to her, +and then said that my stepping down had changed me so absolutely that +she was not sure whether I was a nice girl any longer, and whether, +after all, the fate of being Albert Fanning's wife was not the best +fate for me. Then I said stoutly-- + +"Albert Fanning is one of the best men in the world, and I am +fortunate to be left in such good care." Jasmine got really angry and +offended then, and went out of the room. She presently came back to +ask me, if I would mind dining alone, as she and Henry wished to spend +their last evening with some friends. I said that, of course, I did +not mind. In reality I was very glad. + +Jasmine went out, and I was again alone. How I hated the house; how I +hated the dreary, and yet beautifully-furnished drawing-room; how the +heat oppressed me, and seemed to take away the remainder of my +strength! I wondered if it were true, that I was only two-and-twenty, +just on the verge of womanhood. I felt quite old, and I stretched out +my arms, and gave a dreary sigh; and felt that the sadness of youth +was just as _great_ as the sadness of age; and that one of its most +painful moments was the knowledge that, in the ordinary course of +life, I was so far from the end. Yes, I was young, and I must bear my +burden, and I was strong too; and there was no chance under any +ordinary circumstances of my not living out the full measure of my +years. + +Just before dinner the drawing-room door was again opened, and Albert +Fanning for the third time that day made his appearance. He looked +quite brisk, and bright, and like his usual self, except that in some +extraordinary way his awkwardness and self-consciousness had +completely left him; he was evidently absorbed with some business on +hand, which made him a new man for the time. + +"Will you come for a walk with me, Westenra?" he asked gravely. + +"What, now?" I inquired in some surprise and trepidation. + +"Yes," he answered, "or, at least, I want you to drive with me now, +and to walk with me afterwards. I have a great desire that we should +spend this evening together; and I fancy, somehow, that you won't deny +me. I have a carriage outside; I bought it for you, yesterday, a smart +little victoria. I will drive you to Richmond, and we can dine there. +You will come, won't you, dear?" + +I paused to think, then I said, just as gravely as he had addressed +me-- + +"Yes, I'll come." + +"That is nice," he remarked, rubbing his hands, "we'll have a good +time, little girl. We won't mind what the Duchess said; we'll have a +right, good, jolly time, you and I." + +"Of course," I answered. I went up to my room, dressed, and came down +again. + +"I am ready now," I said. + +He took my hand. + +"It is very good of you, Westenra; we shall have a delightful evening; +all that thundery feeling has gone out of the air, everything is crisp +and fresh, and you'll enjoy your drive." + +None of the servants saw us go out, and it was Albert himself who put +me into the victoria. He sat beside me, took the reins, and we were +off. + +"Don't you think this is a neat little turn-out?" he said, as we drove +down in the soft summer air to Richmond. + +I praised the victoria to his heart's content, and then I told him +that I thought his taste was much improved. + +"It is all owing to you, dear," he replied. "You like things to look +_gentle_ somehow. I could not see myself looking at you in a place +with _loud_ things. It was only this morning I was saying to myself, +early this morning, I mean"--he gave a quick sigh as he uttered these +last words--"I was saying to myself, that we would furnish the house +at Highgate over again according to your ideas. We would just leave a +couple of rooms for mother, according to her tastes, and you and I +should have the rest of the house furnished as you like. Liberty, +Morris, all the rest, everything soft, and cloudy, and dim, and you +walking about in the midst of the pretty things, and I coming home, +and--but, never mind, dear, only I would like you always to feel, that +there is nothing under the sun I would not do for you, nothing." + +"You are very, very kind," I murmured. + +"Oh, it is not real kindness," he replied with great earnestness. "You +must not speak of it as kindness; you cannot call it that, when you +love, and I love you so much, little girl, that when I do things for +you, I do things for myself; you can never call it just _kindness_ +when you please yourself. That is how I feel about the matter. You +understand, don't you?" + +I nodded. I understood very well. Albert thought me kind when I said +gentle and affectionate words to him, but he thought himself rather +selfish than otherwise, when he poured out his whole heart at my feet. + +As we were driving quickly in the direction of Richmond, he told me +many of his plans. I had never heard him speak more freely nor +unrestrainedly. Amongst other things he mentioned Jane Mullins. + +"She is a capital woman," he said, "and she and I have gone carefully +into the matter of the house in Graham Square. Jane wants to give it +up, and it is quite too big for her to manage alone. I am starting +her in a little boarding-house in Pimlico, and with her business-like +instincts she will do uncommonly well there. She spoke of you when I +saw her yesterday, there were tears in her eyes." + +"She must come and see us when we are settled at Highgate," I replied, +but to this remark of mine he made no answer. + +We got to Richmond, and had some dinner, and then we went out, and +walked up and down on the terrace outside the hotel. There was a +lovely view, and the stars were coming out. Albert said-- + +"Let us turn down this walk. It is quite sheltered and rather lonely, +and at the farther end there is an arbour, they call it the 'Lover's +Arbour.' Beyond doubt many lovers have sat there; you and I, Westenra, +will sit there to-night." + +I had been feeling almost happy in his society--I had almost forgotten +the Duchess, and even Jim Randolph had been put into the background of +my thoughts; but when Albert proposed that he and I should sit in the +"Lover's Arbour" as lovers, I felt a shiver run through me. I said not +a word, however, and I do not think he noticed the momentary +unwillingness which made me pause and hesitate. We walked between the +beautiful flowering shrubs, and under the leafy trees to the little +arbour, and we entered. I seated myself; he stood in the doorway. + +"Won't you come and sit down, too?" I said. + +"Do you ask me?" he answered, a light leaping into his eyes. + +"Yes, I do ask you," I replied after a moment. + +He sat down--then suddenly without the slightest warning, his arms +were round me; he had strained me to his heart; he had kissed me +several times on my lips. + +"Oh, you ought not," I could not help exclaiming. + +"But why not?" he cried, and he did not let me go, but looked into my +eyes, almost fiercely it seemed to me. "You are my promised wife, may +I not kiss you just once?" + +"Oh, I know, you have the right to kiss me, but you have always +been----" I could not finish the words. He suddenly dropped his arms, +moved away from me, and stood up. His face was gloomy, then the gloom +seemed to clear as by a great effort. + +"I have kissed you," he said; "I vowed I would, and I have done it. I +shall remember that kiss, and the feel of you in my arms, all my life +long; but I am not going to think of my own feelings, I have something +far more important to say. Do you know, little girl, that I received +an awful shock to-day? Now, listen. You gave me your bond, did you +not?" + +"I did, Albert, I did." + +"Just come out here, dear, I want to see your face. Ah! the moon +shines on it and lights it up; there never was a face in all the +world like yours, never to me; and I vowed, that because of it, and +because of you, I would lead a good life, a beautiful life. A great +deal, that I did not think was in me, has been awakened since you were +good to me, Westenra." + +"You have been very kind to me, Albert," I said, "and I will marry +you. I will marry you when a year is up." + +"You are a good girl," he said, patting my hand; but he did not +squeeze it, nor even take it in his. "You are a very good girl, and +you remember your bond. It was faithfully given, was it not?" + +"Very faithfully, Albert." + +"And you always, always meant to keep it?" + +"I always did. I will keep it. Albert, why do you question me? Why do +you doubt me?" + +"I will tell you in a minute, darling. Now I want to ask you a +question. Do you love me the least little scrap? Look well, well into +your heart before you answer. I know that when you said you would +marry me, you did not love me. You were willing to be bone of my bone, +and flesh of my flesh; my dear, dear wife, till death us did part; you +were willing to be all that?" + +"I was," I said. + +"And yet had you _never_ a kindly feeling towards me?" + +"A very kindly feeling," I answered, "very kindly, but I----" + +"I know," he said, "you are a good girl. I won't press you too hard. +Still my questions are not quite over. Had you, Westenra, at the time +you promised yourself to me, any sort of idea that you cared for +another?" + +"He was dead, or at least, I thought he was dead," I said, trembling, +and turning away. "Had I thought him alive, even for mother's sake, I +could not have done it, but I thought him dead." + +"And now that he has come back, you are sorry you gave me that bond?" + +"Do not question me," I replied; "I will do my best for you; you will +never regret that you have taken me to be your wife, but you must not +question me." + +"Because of your sore, sore heart," he said, looking very kindly at +me; and now I looked back at him, and saw that in some wonderful way +the expression on his face had changed; the look of passion had left +it--it was quite quiet, a very kindly face, a very good face; never +were there more honest blue eyes. + +"I pressed you hard," he said, "I should not have done it, I see it +all now, and you were so good and so unselfish. You gave me that bond +for your mother's sake. I meant to put you into a corner; I meant to +force your hand. It was unfair, miserably unfair. I did not think so +at the time, but now I see it. Well, my dear, you are so gentle, and +so different from other girls, that you have opened my eyes. There is +a good bit of pain in having one's eyes opened sometimes, but there is +also great joy in giving perfect joy to one whom you love, as I love +you. So, if you will promise, little girl, faithfully, that never, +never shall those debts which I paid for you, be paid back again to +me; if you will allow me, for the whole of my life, to feel that I was +the one who saved Westenra in her hour of bitter need; I was the one +who helped her mother in her last moments to go down to the grave in +peace, if you will promise all that, Westenra, there is an end of +everything else. You have your bond back again. I don't want it, +child, it is yours to do what you will with. You are free, Westenra. +If it is hard on me, I am not going to talk of myself; but, I hope, I +am manly enough to bear a bit of pain, and not cause the girl I love +best on earth to suffer pain to her dying day. You are free, Westenra, +that is all." + +"But I won't be free," I answered passionately, for at that moment all +the heroism in me, all that my dead father had given me before I was +born, all that I owed to him, sprang to life in my veins, and I saw +Albert Fanning as a hero, and faintly, very faintly, I began to love +him in return. Not for a moment with the love I had for Jim, but still +with a love which might have made me a blessed if not a happy wife. + +"I won't be free, Albert," I cried, "I gave you my bond, and I will +keep it; I will marry you." + +"Never mind about that just now," he said; "but do you think--" he sat +down near me as he spoke, and looked me in the face. "Do you think you +could bring yourself to do one last thing for me?" + +"It won't be a last thing," I answered, "it will be the first of many; +I will do everything for you; I will marry you." + +"It is not such a big thing as that," he replied; "but it is a big +thing, at least a very big thing to me. It is something that I shall +prize all my life. I took you in my arms just now and kissed you--will +you kiss me just once of your own accord?" + +I did not hesitate; I raised my lips and pressed a kiss on his cheek. +He looked at me very mournfully and quietly. + +"Thank you," he said, "I shall always have this to make a better man +of me." + +"But I am going to be yours; you won't cast me off," I pleaded; "I +said I would marry you on the 1st of June next year, and I will." + +"But I would rather not, my little girl. The fact is this, Westenra, I +would not marry you now at any price. I would have married you had I +thought I could have won you in the end, but I won't have a wife who +loves another. I could not do it on any terms, Westenra. I am low down +enough, but I am not as low as that. So I refuse you, dear; I give you +up--you understand, don't you?" + +I did understand. A wild wave of joy, almost intolerable, surged +round my heart, and the next moment Mr. Fanning took my hand and led +me out of the arbour just where the moon was shining. + +"I asked Mr. Randolph to come down," he said quietly, "I guessed that +perhaps he would be wanted. I think this is he." + +Footsteps were heard approaching, and Jim Randolph stood in the +moonlit path. + +"How do you do, Mr. Randolph?" said Albert Fanning, with that new +dignity which self-denial gave him. He looked almost grand at the +moment. + +"I have just been telling this young girl, Mr. Randolph, that I have +heard a certain secret about her which she was bravely trying to keep +to herself, and in consequence of that secret I can have nothing more +to do with her. She wanted to marry me, sir, but I have refused her; +she is quite free, free for any one else to woo and win. She is a very +good girl, sir, and--but that is all, I have nothing more to say. I +have given her back her bond." And then without a word, Albert Fanning +walked quickly away through the gloom of the shrubbery, and Jim and I +found ourselves alone face to face with the moonlight shining on us +both. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Plucky Girl, by L. T. Meade + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41136 *** |