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diff --git a/40587-8.txt b/40587-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index a377451..0000000 --- a/40587-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,8123 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Yellowstone Nights, by Herbert Quick - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Yellowstone Nights - -Author: Herbert Quick - -Release Date: August 26, 2012 [EBook #40587] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YELLOWSTONE NIGHTS *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - - - - YELLOWSTONE NIGHTS - - By HERBERT QUICK - - AUTHOR OF "ALLADIN & CO.," "VIRGINIA OF THE AIR LANES," ETC. - - - GROSSET & DUNLAP - PUBLISHER NEW YORK - - COPYRIGHT 1911 - THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY - - - - -YELLOWSTONE NIGHTS - - - - -CHAPTER I - - -It was August the third--and the rest of it. Being over Montana, and the -Rockies, the skies were just as described by Truthful James. In the -little park between the N. P. Station and the entrance to Yellowstone -Park a stalwart young fellow and a fluffy, lacy, Paquined girl floated -from place to place with their feet seven or eight inches from the -earth--or so it seemed. They disappeared behind some shrubbery and sat -down on a bench, where the young man hugged the girl ferociously, and -she, with that patient endurance which is the wonder and glory of -womanhood, suffered it uncomplainingly. In fact she reciprocated it. - -Note that we said a moment ago that they disappeared. From whose gaze? -Not from ours, for we saw them sit and--and what followed. Their -disappearance was from the view of a slender man of medium height who -was off toward the station, inspecting the salvias, the phloxes, the -cannas, the colei, the materials with which the walks were paved, and -the earth in the flower-beds. He looked the near things over with a -magnifying-glass, and scrutinized the far landscape with field-glasses. -When he removed his traveling cap, one saw that he was bald, though not -so bald as he seemed--his weak and neutral hair blended so in color with -the neutral shades of his face and garb. - -As he looked at things near and far, from the formal garden of the -little park to the towering peak of Electric Mountain, which flew a -pennon of cloud off to the west, or Sepulcher Mountain, half lost in an -unaccustomed haze to the south, but displaying above the blue its -enormous similitude of a grave, with the stone at head and foot, he made -notes in his huge pocket-book, and in making notes he approached closer -and closer to the big boy and little girl on the bench. In fact, he -stopped on the other side of the bush, and as the lovers kissed for the -tenth time, at least, he stepped round toward them, peering into the top -of the bushes, pencil poised to jot down the cause of the chirping -sound which had greeted his ears. - -"I think I heard young birds in this bush," said he. - -"You did," responded the young man, blushing. - -"This park is full of them," said the girl, rather less embarrassed. - -"Did you note the species?" queried he of the glasses. "I seem quite -unable to catch sight of them." - -"They are turtle-doves," said the girl. - -"Gulls!" said the man. - -The girl giggled hysterically. The naturalist was protesting that gulls -never nest in such places, and the young man was becoming hopelessly -confused, when a fourth figure joined the group. He was clad in garments -of the commonest sort--but the girl was at once struck by the fact that -he wore a soft roll collar on his flannel shirt, and a huge red silk -neckerchief. Moreover, he carried a long whip which he trailed after him -in the grass. - -"Local color at last!" she whispered to her lover. "I know we're going -to have a shooting or a cow-boy adventure!" - -"Well," the new-comer said, "do you go with us, or not, Doc?" - -"Go with you?" asked the ornithologist. "Go where?" - -"Tour of the Park?" replied the man with the whip. "I'm having hard work -to get a load." - -"I think," said the person addressed, "that I can finish my inspection -of the Park on foot. It is, in fact, surprisingly small, and not at all -what I had expected. I have been pacing it off. There are very few acres -in it--" - -"I'll be dog-goned," said the man with the whip, "if he don't think -_this_ is the Yellowstone Park! Stranger, look at yon beautiful arch, -erected by Uncle Sam out of hexagonal blocks of basalt! That marks the -entrance to the Wonderland of the World, a matchless nat'ral park of -more'n three thousand square miles, filled with unnat'ral wonders of -nature! This is the front yard of the railroad station. It'll take you -days and days to do the Park--an' years to do it right." - -"Oh, in that case," responded the investigator, "of course you may rely -upon my joining you!" - -"I want two more, lady," said the driver. "What say?" - -"No," said the young man. "We've decided to cut the Park out." - -"I've changed my mind, I believe," said the girl. "Let's go!" - -"But I thought--" - - * * * * * - -And so the party was made up. It was like one of those strange meetings -that take place on shipboard, on the wharves of ports--wherever fate -takes men in her hands, shakes them like dice, and throws them on the -board--and peeps at them to see what pairs, threes, flushes and other -harmonies make up the strength of the cast. - -There were seven of them. In the rear seat of the surrey sat two young -men wearing broad-brimmed Stetsons, and corduroys. Their scarfs were -pronouncedly Windsor, and the ends thereof streamed in the breeze as did -the pennon of cloud from the top of Electric Peak off there in the west. -The one with the long hair and the Dresden-china complexion starting to -peel off at the lips, was the Minor Poet who eked out a living by the -muck-raker's dreadful trade. He spoke of our malefactors of great wealth -as "burglars" and grew soft-eyed and mute as the splendors of the -Yellowstone Wonderland grew upon him. With him was a smaller man, -shorter of hair, and younger in years--which youth was advertised by -its disguise: a dark, silky Vandyke. He was an artist who was known to -the readers of _Puck_, _Judge_ and _Life_ for his thick-lipped "coons" -and shapeless hoboes, and who was here in the Park with the Poet for the -purpose of drawing pictures for a prose poem which should immortalize -both. So much for the rear seat. - -The next seat forward was sacred to love. That is, it was occupied by -the Bride and Groom, who called each other by the names of "Billy" and -"Dolly," and tried to behave as if very mature and long-married--with -what success we have seen. It was in pursuance of this scheme that they -deliberately refused to take the rear seat when it was pointedly offered -them by the Poet and the Artist. They were very quiet now, the Bride in -stout shoes, mountain-climbing skirt and sweater, the Groom in -engineer's boots and khaki. In the next seat forward sat the man of -note-books, field-glasses, magnifying-glasses and drabs. The driver -called him at first "Doc"; but soon adopted the general usage by which -he was dubbed "Professor." He was myopic; but proud of his powers of -observation. So wide was his reading that he knew nothing. His tour of -the Park was made as a step toward that mastery of all knowledge which -he had adopted as his goal. At once he saw that the rest of the party -were light-minded children, frittering life away; and at once they took -his measure. This made for mutual enjoyment. Nothing so conduces to good -relations as the proper niching of the members of the party. - -With him sat Colonel Baggs, of Omaha, who smoked all the time and quoted -Blackstone and Kent for his seat-mate's Epictetus and Samuel Smiles. -Whenever time hung heavy on the party for sheer lack of power to wonder, -Colonel Baggs restored tonicity to their brains by some far-fetched -argument to which he provoked Professor Boggs, wherein the Colonel -violated all rules and escaped confusion by the most transparent fakir's -tricks, solemnly regarding the Professor with one side of his face, and -winking and grimacing at those behind with the other. - -In the driver's seat sat Aconite Driscoll, erstwhile cow-boy, but now -driver of a Yellowstone surrey, with four cayuses in hand, and a whip in -place of the quirt of former years. When you tour the Yellowstone may he -be your guide, driver, protector, entertainer and friend. - -So they were seven, as I remarked. The Bride counted out as for I-spy, -"'One, two, three, four, five, six, seven; All good children go to -heaven!'" The Minor Poet said, "'We are seven.'" The Artist quoted, -"'Seven men from all the world'"--and looked at the Bride. "'Back to -Docks again,'" she continued, knowing her Kipling, "'Rolling down the -Ratcliffe Road, drunk and raising Cain.' Thanks for including me as a -man." The Artist bowed. "Anyhow," said the Poet, "'We are seven.'" - -They were all in the surrey and Aconite had the reins in hand, his whip -poised, and his lips pursed for the initiatory chirrup, when there put -his foot on the hub the Hired Man, who looked the part and presently -explained that he worked on farms as a regular thing, and who was to be -number eight. "If this seven business is eatin' yeh so bad," said he, -"kain't I make a quadrille of it? I never pay fare, nowheres; but I kin -cook, 'n drive, 'n rustle firewood, 'n drive tent-pins--an' you seem to -have an empty seat. What say?" Aconite looked back into the faces of his -load. All looked at the Bride as commander-in-chief--the Bride nodded. -"Shore!" said Aconite. "Hop in!" - -They rolled through the great arch at the entrance, and bowled along the -road in breath-taking style as they crossed bridge after bridge, the -walls of Gardiner Cañon towering on each side with its left-hand copings -crumbling into pinnacles like ruined battlements, on which sat -fishing-eagles as sentinels, their eyes scanning the flashing stream -below. The wild roses were still in sparse bloom; the cottonwood groves -showed splotches of brilliant yellow; the cedars gloomed in steady and -dependable green. Autumn leaves and spring flowers, and over all a sky -of ultramarine. - -"See there!" exclaimed the Bride, pointing at the huge stream of hot -water where Boiling River bursts from its opening in the rocks, and -falls steaming into the Gardiner. "What in the world is it--a geyser?" - -"That there little spurt," said Aconite, "is where the sink-pipe dreens -off from Mammoth Hot Springs. Don't begin bein' surprised at things like -them!" - -The Professor made notes. Colonel Baggs asserted that hot water is hot -water, no matter where found or in whatever quantities, and couldn't be -considered much of a wonder. The Professor took up the gage of battle, -while the carriage wound up the hill, away from the river; but even he -forbore discourse, when the view opened, as the afternoon sun fell -behind the hills, on the steaming terraces and boiling basins of Mammoth -Hot Springs. - -They scattered to the near-by marvels, and returned to camp where -Aconite, assisted by the Hired Man, had prepared camp fare for the -party. The Bride and Groom announced their intention to take pot luck -with the rest, though the great hotel was ready for their reception. - -"We are honored, I am sure," said Colonel Baggs. "Would that we had a -troupe of performing nightingales to clothe the night with charm fit for -so lovely a member of the party." - -"Oh, thank you ever so much," said the Bride, "but I've just proposed to -Billy a plan that will be better than any sort of troupe. We can make -this trip a regular Arabian Nights' entertainment. Tell them, Billy!" - -"We're to make a hat pool," said Billy, "and the loser tells a story." - -"Good thought!" said the Poet - -"I don't understand," protested the Professor. - -"Well, then, here you are!" said Billy. "I write all our names on these -slips of paper--Driver, Poet, Artist, Professor--and the rest of us. I -mix them in this Stetson. I pass them to the most innocent of the -party, and one is drawn--" - -"Well, let me draw, then!" said the Bride. - -"Not on your life!" said Billy. "Here, Professor!" - -Amid half-hidden chuckling, the Professor took a slip from the hat and -handed it to the Groom. - -"On this ballot," said he, "is written 'The Poet.' That gentleman will -now favor the audience, ladies and gentlemen, with a story." - -The moon was climbing through the lodge-pole pines, and the camp was -mystic with the flicker of the firelight on the rocks and trees. The -Poet looked about as if for an inspiration. His eyes fell on the Bride, -so sweet, so cuddleable, so alluring. - -"I will tell you a story that occurred to me as we drove along," said -he. "If you don't like tragedy, don't call on a poet for entertainment -in a tragic moment." - - -A TELEPATHIC TRAGEDY - -BEING THE STORY TOLD BY THE MINOR POET - -He sat reading a magazine. Chancing upon a picture of the bronze Sappho -which, if you have luck, you will find in the museum at Naples, he -began gazing at it, first casually, then intently, then almost -hypnotically. The grand woman's head with its low masses of hair; the -nose so high as to be almost Roman, so perfect in chiseling as to be -ultra-Greek; the mouth eloquent of divinest passion; the neck, sloping -off to strong shoulders and a bust opulent of charm--it shot through him -an unwonted thrill. It may have arisen from memories of Lesbos, -Mytilene, and the Leucadian Rock. It may have been the direct influence -from her peep-hole on Olympus of Sappho's own Aphrodite. Anyhow, he felt -the thrill. - -Possibly it was some subtle effluence from things nearer and more -concrete than either, for as he closed the magazine that he might rarefy -and prolong this pulsing wave of poetry by excluding the distracting -pages from his sight, his vision, resting for an instant upon the ribbon -of grass and flowers flowing back beside the train, swept inboard and -was arrested by a modish hat, a pile of ruddy hair, a rosy ear, the -creamy back and side of a round neck, and the curve of a cheek. A most -interesting phenomenon in wave-interference at once took place. The -hypnotic vibrations of the Sapphic thrill were affected by a new series, -striking them in like phases. The result was the only possible one. The -vibrations went on, in an amplitude increased to the height of their -superimposed crests. No wonder things happened: it is a matter of -surprise that the very deuce was not to pay. - -For the hair combined with the hat in a symmetrical and harmonious -whole, in an involved and curvilinear complexity difficult to describe; -but the effect is easy to imagine--I hope. The red-brown coils wound in -and out under a broad brim which drooped on one side and on the other -curled jauntily up, as if consciously recurving from the mass of -marvelous bloom and foliage under it. Dark-red tones climbed up to a -climax of quivering green and crimson in a natural and, indeed, -inevitable inflorescence. But, engrossed by sundry attractive details -below it, his attention gave him a concept of the millinery vastly more -vague and impressionistic than ours. - -The sunburst of hair was one of the details. It radiated from a core of -creamy skin from some mystic center concealed under fluffy laciness. -The ear, too, claimed minute attention. It was a marvel of curves and -sinuosities, ivory here, pearl-pink there, its lines winding down to a -dainty lobe lit by a sunset glow, a tiny flame from the lambent furnace -of the heart. Cold science avers that these fairy convolutions are -designed for the one utilitarian purpose of concentrating the -sound-waves for a more efficient impact upon the auditory nerve; but -this is crudely false. They are a Cretan labyrinth for the amazing of -the fancy that the heart may be drawn after--and they are not without -their Minotaur, either! - -"Pshaw!" said he to himself. "What nonsense! I'll finish my magazine!" - -This good resolution was at once acted upon. He turned his eyes back -along the trail by which they had so unwarrantably wandered--along the -line of coiffure, window, landscape, page, Sappho; describing almost a -complete circle--or quite. As he retraced this path so virtuously, the -living picture shifted and threw into the problem--for a problem it had -now become--certain new factors which seemed to compel a readjustment of -plans. These were a fuller view of the cheek, a half profile of the -nose, and just the tiniest tips of the lips and chin. He forgot all -about Sappho, but the Sapphic vibrations went on increasingly. - -The profile--the new one--was, so far, Greek, also. It was still so -averted that there was no danger in amply verifying this conclusion by a -prolonged gaze. - -No danger? - -Foolhardy man, more imminent peril never put on so smooth a front! Read -history, rash one, and see thrones toppled over, dungeons filled with -pale captives, deep accursed tarns sending up bubbling cries for -vengeance, fleets in flames, plains ravaged, city walls beaten down, -palaces looted, beauty dragged at the heels of lust, all from such gazes -as this of thine. And if you object to history, examine the files of the -nearest _nisi prius_ court. It all comes to the same thing. - -Would she turn the deeper seduction of those eyes and lips to view? -Seemingly not, for with every sway of the car they retreated farther -behind the curve of the cheek. This curve was fair and rounded, and for -a while it satisfied the inquiry. What if another cheek be pressed -against that tinted snowy fullness! And what if that other were the -cheek we wot of! - -Clearly, said the inward monitor, this will never do! This -Sappho-Aphrodite-Sunburst Syndicate must be resisted. - -At the same time--the half concealed being traditionally the most potent -snare of the devil--would it not be in every way safer, as well as more -satisfactory, to have a full view of the face? Were there any truth in -the theory of telepathy the thing might be accomplished. A strong and -continuous exercise of the will acting upon that other will, and the -thing is done. - -You see the extent to which the nefarious operations of the syndicate -have been pushed? Unaffected by the malign influence of those waves -meeting in like phases, he would have felt himself no more at liberty to -do this thing than to put his rude hand under the dimpled chin and -ravish a look from the violated eyes. - -For all that, he found himself fixing his will upon the turning of that -head. He fancied he saw a rosier glow in the cheek and ear. Surely this -can be no illusion--even the creamy neck glows faintly roseate. And -still he sent out, or imagined he sent out, the thought-waves -commanding the face to turn. And mingled with it was the sense of battle -and the prevision of victory. - -Slowly, slowly, like a blossom toward the sun, the head turned, the eyes -directed upward, the lips a little apart. The mouth, the chin, the Greek -nose, the violet eyes, enthralled him for a moment, and swung back out -of sight again. He had won, and, winning, had lost. The neck was rosy -now. He felt himself tremble as once more she turned her head until the -fringed mystery of those upturned eyes lay open to his gaze, though her -glance never really met his. He saw, in one intense, lingering look, the -blue irises, the lighter border about the pupils, the wondrous rays -emanating from those black, mystic flowers; he saw the fine dilated -nostrils, the rosy, perfect lips; he saw the evanescent quiver of -allurement at the corners of the mouth, the white teeth just glinting -from their warm concealment. He saw-- - -"Oak Grove! All out for Oak Grove! Remember your umbrellas and parcels!" - -Thus the brakeman raucously rescuing the victims of wave-interference. -Thus Terminus baffling Aphrodite. Yet not without a struggle do the -sea-born goddess and the sea-doomed poet surrender their unaccomplished -task. He rose, stepped into the aisle, and passed her; then he turned, -looked gravely for a moment into her eyes, and sadly whispered, -"Good-by!" - -If surprised, she did not show the fact by the slightest start. Soberly -she dropped her eyelids, seriously she raised them, and with the manner -of one who, breaking intimate converse at the parting-place, bids -farewell to a dear companion, she breathed, "Good-by!" - -Said the lady who drove him from the station, "My dear, is it a guilty -conscience or the fate of the race that makes you so--abstracted?" - -"A guilty conscience," he laughed, laying a hand on hers. He looked -after the flying train, and smiled, and sighed. "After all," he added, -"I believe it's the fate of the race!" - - * * * * * - -"Is that all?" asked the Hired Man. - -The pipes went on glowing and dying like little volcanoes with ephemeral -periods of activity and quiescence. The campers rose one by one and went -to their tents. - -"Wasn't that a curious tale?" asked the Bride when they were alone. -"What do you suppose made him think of it as we drove along?" - -"Dunno," returned the Groom, kissing the back of her neck. "Don't you -think we'd better take the rear seat to-morrow?" - - - - -CHAPTER II - - -"I shall never, never be able to feel anything like astonishment again!" - -So said the Bride as the party took the road again after two days at -Mammoth Hot Springs. Bunsen Mountain had been circumnavigated. Cupid's -Cave had charmed. The Devil's Kitchen had stimulated a flagging faith in -a Personal Adversary, dealing with material utensils of vengeance. The -Stygian Cave, whose deadly vapors had strewed its floor with dead birds, -had been pronounced another of his devices and satanically "horrid." The -iridescent springs, each of which has built up its own basin, like -hanging fountains, were compared to the hanging gardens of Babylon, and -pronounced far more worthy of place among the wonders of the world. The -lovely Undine Falls had comforted them with prettiness after wildness; -and the ogreous Hoodoo Rocks had turned them back to the realm of -shivers. The Professor's note-books were overflowing with memoranda; -and Colonel Baggs alone went unastounded. - -"If the place only had a history," said the Minor Poet, "like the -Venusberg, or almost any spot in Europe--" - -"Well," said the Colonel, "it's got some history, anyhow. When I was -here before--" - -"When was that?" asked the Artist, adding a line or two to a -surreptitious sketch of the Colonel. - -"It was thirty-three years ago the latter part of this month," said the -Colonel. "I carried a knapsack in the chase after Chief Joseph and the -Nez Percès. There were pretty average lively times right in this -vicinity with the first tourists, so far as I know, that ever came into -the Park. Some fellows had been up in the Mount Everts country, and to -the lower falls. The Nez Percès rushed them. A fellow named Stewart -found himself looking into the muzzle of the rifle of a Nez Percè, and -made the sign of the cross. The red with the gun, being a pretty fair -Christian as Christians go--the tribe had been converted for thirty -years--as conversions go--refrained from shooting when he saw the sign. -Stewart had a horse that was wild and hard to catch--was wounded and had -no idea he could get within reach of the steed; but when he called, the -horse came to him and stood for him to climb on, for the first and last -time in the history of their relations. Stewart got off with his life." - -"Very remarkable," said the Professor, jotting down a note. "Now, how do -you account for that on any known scientific law?" - -"It simply wasn't Stewart's time," said the Colonel. "Or there's an -intelligence that operates on other intelligences--even those of -beasts--for our protection. Or we have guardian spirits that can tame -horses. Take your choice, Professor. And right here--maybe where we are -camped--another bit of history was enacted that in the childhood of the -race might ripen into one of those legends the artists deplore the lack -of. The campers here had a nigger cook named Stone--Ben Stone--I -arrested and confined for giving thanks to the Lord after we picked him -up. He was here at Mammoth Hot Springs when a fellow--I forget his -name--was shot. The Nez Percès went by one day and saw him here. Next -day they came back more peeved than before and shot the man. Ben, the -cook, ran, and they after him. He shinned up into one of these -trees--maybe that one there. The Indians lost sight of him, and stopped -under the tree for a conference. Stone nearly died of fright for fear -they would hear his heart beating. He said it sounded like a horse -galloping over rocks. They gave him up and went away. The coast being -clear, a bear--probably an ancestor of these half-tamed beasts that the -Bride photographed last evening--came along and began snuffing about the -trees. Ben's heart began galloping again. The bear reared up and -stretched as if he meant to climb the tree. Ben's heart stopped. After a -while the bear went away. After a day or so the cook came into our camp -and went about giving thanks to the Lord continually, and howling -hallelujahs until nobody could sleep. So we put him under guard, and I -watched him under orders to bust his head if he bothered the throne of -grace any more." - -"The army is an irreverent organization," said the Professor. - -"It isn't what you'd call devout," assented the Colonel. - -"Confound this modern world, anyway!" complained the Poet. "Five hundred -years ago, we'd have evolved a cycle of legends out of those -occurrences!" - -"The tales are just as astonishing without legends," insisted the Bride, -"as anything in the world, no matter how deep in fable." - -Faring on southward, they passed toward Norris Basin in unastonished -quietude. A flock of pelicans on Swan Lake created no sensation. A trio -of elk in Willow Park crossed the road ahead of the surrey with no -further effect than to arouse the Artist to some remarks on their -anatomical perfection, and to bring to the surface the buried note-book -of Professor Boggs. They stopped at Apollinaris Spring for refreshment, -where the Groom held forth on the commercial possibilities of the -waters, if the government would get off the lid, and let the country be -developed. - -"Nix on this conservation game," said he; and nobody argued with him. - -At Obsidian Cliff, Mr. Driscoll whoaed up his cayuses to call the -attention of his fares to the fact that here is the only glass road in -the world. - -"Glass?" queried the Professor, alighting, microscope in hand. "Really?" - -"Shore," assured Aconite. "They cracked the road out of the cliff by -building fires to heat the glass and splashin' cold water to make the -chunks pop out--jelluk breakin' a tumbler washin' up the dishes." - -"Oh, I see," said Professor Boggs. "Merely obsidian." - -"Merely!" repeated Aconite. "Some folks always reminds me of the folks -that branded old Jim Bridger as a liar becuz o' what he told of this -here region eighty or ninety years ago. He built Fort Bridger, and -Bridger's Peak was named after him, and he discovered Great Salt Lake, -and I guess he wouldn't lie. He found this glass cliff and told about it -then--and everybody said he was a liar. An' he found lots o' things that -ain't on the map. We see a little thread o' country along this road, but -the reel wonders of this Park hain't been seen sence Jim Bridger's -time--an' not then. W'y, once back in this glass belt, he saw an elk -feedin' in plain sight. Blazed away an' missed him. Elk kep' on feedin'. -Blazed away ag'in. Elk unmoved. Bridger made a rush at the elk with his -knife, and run smack into a mountain of this glass so clear that he -couldn't see it, and shaped like a telescope glass that brought things -close. That elk was twenty-five miles off." - -"Giddap!" said Colonel Baggs to the horses. "Time to be on our way." - -"After all," said the Poet, "we may not have lost the power to create a -mythology." - -"Bridger for my money," said the Artist, with conviction. - -"Jim Bridger said that," asserted Aconite, "an' I believe him. They -found Great Salt Lake where he said it was, all right, an' Bridger's -Peak, an' the few things we've run across here. You wouldn't believe a -mountain would whistle like a steam engine, would yeh? Well, I'll show -you one--Roarin' Mountain--in less'n four miles ahead--in the actual act -of tootin'." - -"I believe all you said, Mr. Driscoll," said the Bride as they sat about -the fire that night. "The glass mountain, the elk and all. After those -indescribable Twin Lakes, the Roaring Mountain, and the Devil's Frying -Pan, stewing, stewing, century after century--that's what makes it so -inconceivable--the thought of time and eternity. The mountains are here -for ever--that's plain; but these things in action--to think that they -were sizzling and spouting just the same when Mr. Bridger was here -ninety years ago, and a million years before that, maybe--it -flabbergasts me!" - -"Yes'm," said Aconite. "It shore do." - -"You're it, Bride!" said the Hired Man, handing her a slip with "Bride" -written upon it. - -"I'm what?" asked the Bride. - -"They've sawed the story off on you," returned the Hired Man. "I hope -you'll give a better one than that there Poet told. I couldn't make head -nor tail to that." - -"It _was_ rotten," said the Poet, looking at the Bride, "wasn't it?" - -"I'm still living in a glass house," said the Bride. "Don't you know -there's only one story a bride can tell?" - -"Tell it, tell it!" was the cry--from all but the Poet and the Groom. - -"I think I'll retire," said the Groom. - -"Off with you into the shadows," said the Poet. "I'll contribute my last -cigar--and we'll smoke the calumet on the other side of the tree where -we can hear unseen." - -About them the earth boiled and quivered and spouted. Little wisps of -steam floated through the treetops. There were rushings and spoutings in -the air--for they were in the Norris Geyser Basin. And here the Bride, -sitting in the circle of men, her feet curled under her on a cushion of -the surrey laid on the geyser-heated ground, fixed her eyes on the -climbing moon and told her story. - - -THE TRIUMPH OF BILLY HELL - -THE STORY TOLD BY THE BRIDE - -Now that so many of the girls are writing, the desire to express myself -in that way comes upon me awfully strongly, sometimes. - -She looked at the Poet, who nodded encouragement and understanding. - -And yet a novel seems so complex and poky in the writing, as compared -with a play, which brings one ever so much more exciting success. Louise -Amerland says that all literature is autobiographical. If this is so, -why can't I use my own romance in making a play? I think I could, if I -could once get the scenario to--to discharge, as Billy says. He calls me -a million M. F. condenser of dramatic electricity, but says that it's -all statical, when it ought to flow. But the scenario must be possible, -if I could only get the figures and events juggled about into place. -There's Billy for the hero, and Pa, and the Pruntys, and me for the -heroine, and comic figures like the butler and Miss Crowley and Atkins, -and the crowds in Lincoln Park. I want the statue of Lincoln in it for -one scene. - -"That would be great," said the Artist. - -After I was "finished" at St. Cecilia's I went into Pa's office as his -secretary. He wasn't very enthusiastic, but I insisted on account of the -sacredness of labor and its necessity in the plan of woman's life having -revealed themselves to me as I read one of Mrs. Stetson's books. Pa -fumed, and said I bothered him; but I insisted, and after a while I -became proficient as a stenographer, and spelled such terms as -"kilowatt," and "microfarad," and "electrolyte," in a way that forced -encomiums from even Pa. Upon this experience I based many deductions as -to the character of our captains of industry, one of which is that they -are the most illogical set in the world, and the more illogical they are -the more industry they are likely to captain. - -Take Pa, for instance. He began with a pair of pliers, a pair of -climbers, a lineman's belt, and a vast store of obstinacy; and he has -built up the Mid-Continent Electric Company--for we are an electric -family, though Billy says magnetic is the term. - -"Spare me!" prayed the Groom. - -But how does Pa order his life? He sends me to St. Cecilia's, which has -no function but to prepare girls for the social swim, and is so -exclusive that he had to lobby shamefully to get me in: and all the time -he gloats--simply _gloats_--over the memory of the pliers, the climbers, -the lineman's belt, and the obstinacy--no, not over the obstinacy, of -course: that is merely what makes him gloat. And he hates Armour -Institute graduates and Tech men poisonously, and wants his force made -up of electricians who have come up, as he says, by hard knocks, and -know the practical side. As if Billy Helmerston--but let me begin at the -beginning. - -I was in the office one day superintending Miss Crowley, the chief -stenographer, in getting together the correspondence about an electric -light and power installation in Oklahoma, when, just at the door of the -private office, I met a disreputable figure which towered above me so -far that I could barely make out that it had good anatomical lines and a -black patch over one eye. - -I will here deceive no one: it was Billy. He explained afterward that he -possessed better clothes, but had mislaid them somehow, and that the cut -over his eye he got in quelling a pay-night insurrection in his -line-gang out in Iowa, one of whom struck him with a pair of four-hole -connectors. I am sorry to confess that I once felt pride in the fact -that Billy knocked the linemen's heads together--and yet Pa talks of -hard knocks!--until they subsided, the blood, meanwhile, running all -down over his face and clothing and theirs. It was very brutal, in -outward seeming, no matter what plea of necessity may be urged for it. - -I almost fell back into the doorway, he was so near and so big. His way -of removing his abominable old hat, and his bow, gave me a queer little -mental jolt, it was so graceful and elegant, in spite of the overalls -and the faded shirt. - -"I was referred to this place as Mr. Blunt's office," said he. "Can you -direct me to him?" - -Now Pa is as hard to approach as any Oriental potentate; but I supposed -that Billy was one of the men from the factory, and had business, and I -was a little fluttered by the wonderful depth and sweetness of his -voice; so I just said: "This way, please"--and took him in to where Pa -was sawing the air and dictating a blood-curdling letter to a firm of -contractors in San Francisco, who had placed themselves outside the pale -of humanity by failing to get results from our new Polyphase Generator. -(Billy afterward told them what was the matter with it.) I saw that my -workman had picked out an exceedingly unpsychological moment, if he -expected to make a very powerful appeal to Pa's finer instincts. - -"Well," roared Pa, turning on him with as much ferocity as if he had -been a San Francisco contractor of the deepest dye, "what can I do for -you, sir?" - -"My name is Helmerston," started Billy. - -"I'm not getting up any directory," shouted Pa. "What do you want?" - -"I'm just through with a summer's line-work in the West," answered -Billy, "and I took the liberty of applying for employment in your -factory. I have--" - -"The blazes you did!" ejaculated Pa, glaring at Billy from under his -eyebrows. "How did you get in here?" - -I was over at the filing-cases, my face just burning, for I was -beginning to see what I had done. Billy looked in my direction, and as -our eyes met he smiled a little. - -"I hardly know, Mr. Blunt," said he. "I just asked my way and followed -directions. Is it so very difficult to get in?" - -I saw at once that he was a good deal decenter than he looked. - -"Well, what can you do?" shouted Pa. - -"Almost anything, I hope," answered Billy. "I've had no practical -experience with inside work; but I have--" - -"Oh, yes, I know!" said Pa, in that unfeeling way which experience and -success seem to impart to the biggest-hearted men--and Pa is surely one -of these. "It's the old story. As soon as a dub gets so he can cut over -a rural telephone, or put in an extension-bell, or climb a twenty-five -without getting seasick, he can do 'almost anything.' What one, -definite, concrete thing can you do?" - -"For one thing," said Billy icily, "I think I could help some by taking -a broom to this factory floor out here." - -"All right," said Pa, after looking at him a moment. "The broom goes! -Give this man an order for a broom. Put him on the pay-roll at seven -dollars a week. Find out who let him in here, and caution whoever it was -against letting it occur again. Call up Mr. Sweet, and tell him I want a -word with him on those Winnipeg estimates. Make an engagement with Mr. -Bayley of the street-car company to lunch with me at the club at two." -And Pa was running in his groove again. - -"I'm sorry," he whispered, as he passed me going out. - -"Thank you," I answered. "It's of no consequence--" - -And then I noticed that he was looking into my eyes in a wistful and -pathetic way, as if protesting against going out. I blushed as I showed -him to the door: and he wasn't the first whose eyes had protested, -either. - -"You mustn't violate the rules, Dolly," said Pa, as we crossed the -bridge in the bubble, going home. "You know perfectly well that I can't -say 'no' to these tramps--" - -"He wasn't a tramp," said I. - -"A perfect hobo," answered Pa. "I know the type well. I have to let -Burns handle them." - -"He was very graceful," said I. - -"Any lineman is," replied Pa. "They have the best exercise in the world. -If he steals anything, you're responsible, my dear." - -I supposed the incident to be closed with my statement that he had nice -eyes, and Pa's sniff; but, in a few days, Pa, who watches the men like a -cat, surprised me by saying that my graceful hobo was all right. - -"He gathered up and saved three dollars' worth of beeswax the other men -were wasting, the first day," said Pa. "Melted and strained and put it -in the right place without asking any questions. And then he borrowed a -blow-torch and an iron, and began practising soldering connections. He -looks good to me." - -"Me, too," said I. - -"Blessed be the hobo," said the Colonel, "for he shall reach paradise!" - -It seems strange, now, to think of my hearing these things unmoved. The -dreadful humiliation to which Billy was subjected, the noble fortitude -with which he bore it, and the splendid way in which he uplifted the -menial tasks to which he was assigned, have always reminded me of Sir -Gareth serving as a scullion in Arthur's kitchen. It is not alone in the -chronicles of chivalry--but I must hasten this narrative. - -I must not delay even to inform you of the ways in which it was -discovered that Billy could do all sorts of things; that there was no -blue-print through which his keen eye could not see, and no engineering -error--like that in the Polyphase Generator--that he couldn't detect; or -how he was pushed up and up by force of sheer genius, no one knowing -who he was until he found himself, like an eagle among buzzards, at the -head of a department, and coming into the office to see Pa quite in a -legitimate way. - -"Hooray! Hooray!" came from behind the tree. - -"Shut up, Poet!" commanded the Artist, "or I'll come back there!" - -I didn't know these things personally, because I had left the office. I -had found out that there seemed to be more soul-nurture in artistic -metal work than in typewriting, and had fitted up a shop in the Fine -Arts Building, where Louise Amerland and I were doing perfectly -enchanting stunts in hammered brass and copper--old Roman lamps and -Persian lanterns, after designs we made ourselves. Pa parted with his -secretary with a sigh, the nature of which may be a question better left -unsettled. - -This romance really begins with my visit, after months and months of -absence, to the restaurant which I had dinged at Pa until he had -instituted for the help. I told him that the social side of labor was -neglected shamefully, and for the work people to eat at the same table -with their superintendents and employers would be just too dear and -democratic, and he finally yielded growlingly. He was awfully pleased -afterward when the papers began to write the thing up. He said it was -the cheapest advertising he ever got, and patted me on the shoulder and -asked me if I wasn't ashamed to be so neglectful of my great invention. -So one day I got tired of working out Rubáiyát motifs in brass, and I -went over to the café for luncheon, incog. And what do you think? Billy -came in and sat down very informally right across from me! - -"Hello!" said he, putting out his hand. "I've been looking for you for -eons, to--to thank you, you know. Don't you remember me?" - -Before I knew it I had blushingly given him my hand for a moment. - -"Yes," I replied, taking it away, and assuming a more properly dignified -air. "I hope you have risen above seven a week and a broom; and I am -glad to see that your head has healed up." - -"Thank you," he replied. "I am running the installation department of -the dynamo end of the business. And you? I'm no end glad to see you -back. Did you get canned for letting me in? I've had a good many bad -half-hours since I found you gone, thinking of you out hunting a job -on--on my account. You--pardon me--don't look like a girl who would -have the E. M. F. in the nerve-department to go out and compete, you -know." - -I was amazed at the creature's effrontery, at first; and then the whole -situation cleared up in my mind. I saw that I had an admirer (_that_ was -plain) who didn't know me as Rollin Blunt's heiress at all, but only as -a shop-mate in the Mid-Continent Electric Company's factory--a -stenographer who had done him a favor. It was more fun than most girls -might think. - -"How did you find out," said I, "that I had been--ah--canned?" - -"I watched for you," he replied. "Began as soon as my promotion to the -switchboard work made it so I could. After a couple of months' -accumulation of data I ventured upon the generalization that the old -man--" - -"The who?" - -"Mr. Blunt, I mean, of course," he amended, "had fired you for letting -me in. Out of work long?" - -"N-no," said I; "hardly a week." - -"Where are you now?" he asked. - -"I'm in a shop," I stammered, "in Michigan Avenue." - -I looked about to see if any of the employees who knew me were present, -but could see none except Miss Crowley, who wouldn't meet a man in the -same office in a year, and a dynamo-man never, and who is near-sighted, -anyhow. So I felt safe in permitting him to deceive himself. It is thus -that the centuries of oppression which women have endured impress -themselves on our more involuntary actions in little bits of -disingenuousness against which we should ever struggle. At the time, -though, to sit chatting with him in the informal manner of co-laborers -at the noon intermission was great fun. It was then that I began to -notice more fully what a really fine figure he had, and how brown and -honest and respectful his eyes were, even when he said "Hello" to me; as -if I were a telephone, and how thrilling was his voice. - -"I'd like," said he, "to call on you--if I might." - -I was as fluttered as the veriest little chit from the country. - -"I--I can't very well receive you," said I. "My--the people where I--I -stop wouldn't like it." - -"I'm quite a respectable sort of chap," said he. "My name's Helmerston, -and my people have been pretty well known for two or three hundred years -up in Vermont, where we live--in a teaching, preaching, book-writing, -rural sort of way, you know. I'm a Tech man--class of '08--but I haven't -anything to boast of on any score, I'm merely telling you these things, -because--because there seems to be no one else to tell you, and--and I -want you to know that I'm not so bad as I looked that morning." - -"Oh, this is quite absurd!" cried I. "I really--it doesn't make any -difference; but I'm quite ready to believe it! I must go, really!" - -"May I see you to your car?" said he; and I started to tell him that I -was there in the victoria, but pulled up, and took the street-car, after -he had extracted from me the information that I lived close to Lincoln -Park. But when he asked if I ever walked in the park, I just refused to -say any more. One really must save one's dignity from the attacks of -such people. I had to telephone Roscoe where to come with the victoria. - -Soon after, quite by accident, I saw him on two successive evenings in -Lincoln Park, both times near the Lincoln statue. I wondered if my -mentioning the south entrance had anything to do with this. He never -once looked at the motorists, and so failed to see me; but I could see -that he took a deep interest in the promenaders--especially slender -girls with dainty dresses and blond hair. It appeared almost as if he -were looking for some one in particular, and I smiled at the thought of -any one being so silly as to search those throngs on the strength of any -chance hint any person might have dropped. I was affected by the pathos -of it, though. It seemed so much like the Saracen lady going from port -to port hunting for Thomas à Becket's father--though, of course, he -wasn't any one's father then, but I can't think of his name. - -The next evening I took Atkins, my maid, and walked down by the Lincoln -monument to look at some flowers. It seems to me that we Chicagoans owe -it to ourselves to become better acquainted with one another--I mean, of -course, better acquainted with our great parks and public places and -statues. They are really very beautiful, and something to be proud of, -provided as they are for rich and poor alike by a paternal government. - -Strangely fortuitous chance: we met Billy! - -"Well, _well_!" exclaimed Aconite. - -He came striding down the path to meet me--Atkins had fallen behind--his -face perfectly radiant with real joy. - -"At last!" he ejaculated. "I wondered if we were _ever_ to meet again, -Miss--Miss--" - -"Blunt," said I, heroically truthful, and suppressing one of those -primordial impulses which urged me to say Wilkinson--now, as a -scientific problem, why Wilkinson? But I did not wish to lose Atkins' -respect by conversing with a man who did not know my name. - -"Miss Blunt?" cried he interrogatively. "That's rather odd, you know. -It's not a very common name." - -"Oh, I don't know," said I, uncandid again, as soon as I saw a chance to -get through with it--little cat. "It seems awfully common to me. Why do -you say that it's odd?" - -"Because I happen to have a letter of introduction to Miss Blunt, -daughter of the old--of Mr. Blunt of the Mid-Continent--" - -"You have?" I broke in. "From whom?" - -"From my cousin, Amelia Wyckoff," said he, "who went to school with her -at St. Cecilia's." - -"Well, of all things!" I began; and then, with a lot of presence of -mind, I think, I paused. "Why don't you present it?" I asked. - -"Well, it's this way," said Billy. "You saw how Mr. Blunt sailed into -me and put me in the broom-brigade without a hearing? I didn't have the -letter then, and when I got it I didn't feel like pulling on the social -strings when I was coming on pretty well for a dub lineman and learning -the business from the solder on the floor to the cupola, by actual -physical contact. And then there's another thing, if you'll let me say -it: since that morning I've had no place in my thoughts for any girl's -face but one." - -We were sitting on a bench. Atkins was looking at the baby leopards in -the zoo, ever so far away. Billy didn't seem to miss her. He was looking -right at me. My heart fluttered so that I knew my voice would quiver if -I spoke, and I didn't dare to move my hands for fear he might notice -their trembling. The idea of _my_ behaving in that way! - -I was glad to find out that he was Amelia's cousin; for that insured his -social standing. That was what made me feel so sort of agitated. One -laborer ought not to feel so of another, for we are all equal; but it -_was_ a relief to know that he was Amelia's aunt's son, and not a tramp. - -"I must be allowed to call on you!" he said with suppressed intensity. -"You don't dislike me very much, do you?" - -"I--I don't like cuts over the eye," said I, evading the question. - -"I don't have 'em any more," he urged. - -And then he explained about the émeute in the line-gang, and the -four-hole connectors, and confessed to the violent and sanguinary manner -in which he had felt called upon to put down the uprising. I could feel -my face grow hot and cold by turns, like Desdemona's while Othello was -telling the same kind of things; and when I looked for the scar on his -forehead he bowed his head, and I put the curls aside and found it. I -would have given worlds to--it was so much like a baby coming up to you -and crying about thumping its head and asking you to kiss it well. Once -I had my lips all puckered up--but I had the self-control to refrain--I -was so afraid. - -It was getting dusk now, and Billy seized my hand and kissed it. I was -quite indignant until he explained that his motives were perfectly -praise-worthy. Then I led him to talk of the rich Miss Blunt to whom he -had a letter of introduction, and advised him to present it, and argued -with appalling cogency that one ought to marry in such a way as to -better one's prospects, and Billy got perfectly furious at such a view -of love and marriage--explaining, when I pretended to think he was mad -at me, that he knew I was just teasing. And then he began again about -calling on me, and seeing my parents, or guardians, or assigns, or _any -one_ that he ought to see. - -"Because," said he, "you're a perfect baby, with a baby's blue eyes and -hair of floss, and tender skin, and trustfulness; and I ought to be -horsewhipped for sitting here in the park with you in--in this way, with -no one paying any attention but Mr. Lincoln, up there." - -Then I did feel deeply, darkly crime-stained; and I could have hugged -the dear fellow for his simplicity--_me_ helpless, with Atkins, and the -knowledge of Amelia Wyckoff's letter; not to mention Mr. Lincoln--bless -him!--or a park policeman who had been peeking at us from behind a bunch -of cannas! I could have given him the addresses of several gentlemen who -might have certified to the fact that I wasn't the only one whose peace -of mind might have been considered in danger. - -I grew portentously serious just before I went home, and told Billy that -he must see me on my own terms or not at all, and that he mustn't follow -me, or try to find out where I lived, but must walk around the curve to -the path and let me mingle with the landscape. - -"May I not hope," said he, "to see you again soon?" - -"I may feed the elephant some peanuts," said I, "on Thursday -evening--no, I shall play in a mixed foursome, and then dine on Thursday -afternoon at the Onwentsia--" - -"Where?" said he, in a sort of astonished way. - -"I believe I could make you believe it," said I with more presence of -mind, "if I stuck to it. But I can't come on Thursday. Let us say on -Friday evening." - -He insisted that Friday is unlucky, and we compromised on Wednesday. -This conversation was on Tuesday. - -"May I turn for just one look at my little wood nymph," said he, "when I -get to the curve?" - -Of course I said "Yes"--and he turned at the curve, and came striding -back with such a light in his eyes that I had to allow him to kiss my -hand again, under the pretense that I had got a sliver in my finger. - -I went back Wednesday, and again and again, and sneaked off once with -him to an orchestra concert, and it wasn't long before Billy knew that -his little stenographer was willing to allow him to hope. But I refused -to let him call it an engagement until he promised me that he would -present the letter to the other Miss Blunt. - -"Why, Dolly? Why, sweetheart?" he asked; for it had got to that stage -now. Oh, it progressed with dizzying rapidity! - -"Because," I replied, "you may like her better than you do me." - -"Impossible!" he cried with a gesture absolutely tragic in its -intensity. "I dislike her very name--'Miss Aurelia Blunt!'" - -"That's unjust!" I cried, really angry, "Aurelia is a fine name; and she -may have a pet name, you know." - -"Only one Miss Blunt with a pet name for little Willie!" said he. "My -little Dolly!" - -But I tied him down with a promise that before he saw me again he'd call -on Aurelia. When I saw him next he looked guilty, and said he had found -her out when he called. I scolded him cruelly, and made him promise -again. The fact was that when he called I couldn't find it in my heart -to sink to the prosaic level of Miss Aurelia Blunt. I had had the -sweetest, most delicious courtship that any girl _ever_ had, up to this -time, and I was afraid of spoiling it all. I was afraid sort of on -general principles, you know, and so was "out." And after he went away I -stole down into the park in my electric runabout and talked to Mr. -Lincoln about it. He seemed to know. When I went away, I left a little -kiss on the monument. - -Billy was perfectly cringing that next day when he had to confess that -he had failed on what he called "this Aurelia proposition." He begged to -be let off. - -"You see," said he, "she may give me a frigid reception, and take -offense at my delay in presenting this letter. Amelia may have written -her, and she may be furious. There may be some sort of social statute of -limitations on letters of introduction, and the thing may have run out, -so that I'll be ejected by the servants, dearie. And, anyhow, it will -place me in an equivocal position with Mr. Blunt--my coming to him as a -tramp, and holding so very lightly the valuable social advantage of an -acquaintance with the family. He won't remember that he jumped on me -with both feet and gave me six months on bread and water. It--it may -queer me in the business." - -I here drew myself up to my full height, and froze him as I have seldom -done. - -"Mr. Helmerston," said I, "I have indicated to you a fact which I had -supposed might have some weight with you as against sordid and merely -prudential considerations--I mean my preferences in this matter. It -seems, however, that--that you don't care the least little bit what _I_ -want, and I just know that you don't--care for me at all as you say you -do; and I'm going home at once!" - -Well, he was so abject, and so sorry to have given me pain, that I -wanted to hug him, but I didn't. - -Oh, I almost neglected to say that all our behavior had been of the most -proper and self-contained sort. I would almost be willing to have Miss -Featherstonehaugh at St. Cecilia's use a kinetoscope picture of all our -meetings in marking me in deportment. Of course, conversations in parks -and at concerts do not lend themselves to transports very well, and the -kinetoscopes do not reproduce what is said, do they? Or the way one -feels when one is grinding into the dust, in that manner, the most -splendid fellow in the whole terrestrial and stellar universe. - -"I'll go, by George!" he vowed. "And I'll sit on Aurelia's doorstep -without eating or drinking until she comes home and kicks me down the -stairs!" I was wondering as I went home how soon he would come; but I -was astonished to learn that Mr. Helmerston was in my reception-room. - -"Hi informed 'im," said the footman, "that you would 'ardly be 'ome -within a reasonable time of waiting; but 'e said 'e would remain until -you came, Miss, nevertheless." - -I went down to him just as I was, in my simple piqué dress, wearing the -violets he had given me. "Mr. Helmerston," said I, "I must apologize for -the difficulty I have given you in obtaining the very slight boon of -meeting me, and say how good you are to come again--and wait. Any friend -of dearest Amelia's, not to mention her cousin, is--" - -He had stood in a state of positive paralysis until now. - -"Dolly! Dolly! Dearest, dearest Dolly!" he cried, coming up to me and -taking--and doing what he hadn't had a chance to do before. "Oh, my -darling, are _you_ here?" - -After quite a while he started up as if he had forgotten something. - -"What is it?" said I. "There isn't a promenader or a policeman this side -of the park, sweetheart!" - -"No," he answered after another interval--for I hadn't called him -anything like that before--"but I was thinking that--that Aurelia--is a -long time in coming home." - -"Why, don't you know _yet_, you goosey," said I. "_I'm_ Aurelia!" - - * * * * * - -And this brings me to the point where dalliance must cease--most of the -time--while the drama takes on the darker tinge given it by Pa's cruel -obstinacy, and the misdeeds of the Pruntys--whom I should have brought -on in the first act, somehow, on a darkened stage, conspiring across it -over a black bottle, and once in a while getting up to peek up and down -the flies, meanwhile uttering the villain's sibilant "Sh!" I don't -suppose it is artistic, from the Augustus Thomas viewpoint, but I wanted -the honeyed sweets of this courtship of mine without a tang of bitter; -and, honestly now, isn't it a lovely little plot for a love-drama? - - * * * * * - -"Gee!" exclaimed the Hired Man. "I was afraid you was through!" - -"I am," said the Bride softly, "for to-night. If you'll excuse me now. -Maybe I'll tell the rest of it at the next camp--if you want me to." - -"I assure you," said the Professor, "that your tale does credit to your -teachers in elocution." - -"We all thank you," said the Artist, "for what we've had--and won't you -continue at the next session--Scheherazade?" - -"I'll see," said she. "Billy! Where are you!" - -"I have mysteriously disappeared," replied the Groom from behind the -tree. "Come hunt me!" - - - - -CHAPTER III - - -At the behest of Aconite, the party refrained from expressions of more -than mild interest at the Norris Basin. Aconite assured them that they -ought to save their strong expressions for things farther on. The Poet -wrote some verses for the purpose of creating a legend to account for -the fact that the Monarch Geyser ceased to spout some ten years ago. But -when he came to the Growler, and the Hurricane, and the new Roaring -Holes, which are really gigantic steam whistles, he dismounted from his -Pegasus and threaded his way through the dead forest--killed by escaping -steam--in a trance of wonder. But Aconite's advice to economize language -until the Lower Geyser Basin should be reached was followed so far as -superlatives were concerned. Night found them scattered, and it was only -when they took the road once more that the party was whole again. The -Artist stopped the surrey at the Gibbon Paint Pots so that he might use -some of their bubbling sediment as a pigment with which to paint a -souvenir picture for each of the party. Cañons, boiling springs and -waterfalls--rocks, mountains, wild beauty on every hand--all these they -were assured were inconsiderable parts of the prelude to the marvels -awaiting them at the next halt. But when they came to the crossing of -Nez Percè Creek, the Bride expressed a desire to wait, to stop, to rest -her eyes and quiet her spirits before anything more striking should be -imposed upon her powers of observation. - -"I fell like Olger the Dane and King Desiderio, when they watched on the -tower for Charlemagne; and if we go on, I shall, like Olger, fall 'as -one dead at Desiderio's feet!'" - -The Poet looked in the Bride's eyes, and nodded sympathetically. Mr. -Driscoll pondered the mysteries of the Bride's statement for a while, -and threw down his lines. - -"If that's the way the Bride feels," said he, "we'll stop here and grub -our systems up a little." - -"The champion hard-luck story of this or any other age," said the -Colonel, as they lighted their pipes after dinner, "was enacted right up -this creek in that Nez Percè uprising wherein I fought and bled and -died." - -"More matter for myths," said the Artist. "Let's have it, e'en though it -be as dolorous as the tale of the Patient Griselda." - -"I don't recall more of Griselda's story," said the Colonel, "than that -she was given the worst of it by her husband, the king. But this Nez -Percè Creek story isn't any tale of the perfidy of our nearest and -dearest, but of things just unanimously breaking bad for a man from -Radersburg, Mr. Cowan. He and his wife and some friends were camped down -here a couple of miles at the Lower Geyser Basin, right close by the -Fountain Geyser, just beyond the hotel--only there wasn't any hotel yet -for thirty years. Chief Joseph and his Nez Percès came through trying to -get away from the United States. They picked up the Cowan party, and -brought them right along where we now are, and a few miles up this -creek, where Joseph, Looking-Glass, and the other chiefs held a -conference and decided to let the Cowan party go, after destroying their -transportation system by cutting the spokes out of their buggies. This -they did, and the Indians went on. Some of the bucks, feeling that it -was careless of the chiefs to overlook a bet like this, came back, and -in process of correcting their leaders' mistake shot Mr. Cowan in the -thigh--which was bad luck Item one. He slipped from his horse, stunned -by the shock, and his wife ran to him and tried to shelter him from -further harm. But in spite of her efforts another Indian shot him in the -head, holding his rifle so close that the powder burned the flesh. He -was not killed, however, though all parties to the affair supposed he -was, and Mrs. Cowan was removed from the corpse to which she clung, and -carried away by her friends. You see, the Indians were not unanimously -for these killings, and allowed most of the whites to go. The Indians -threw a cord or so of rocks on Cowan's head and went on with a -consciousness of good work well and thoroughly done. - -"Cowan revived, pulled his head from among the rocks, and drew himself -to a standing posture by the limb of a tree. An Indian happening along, -shot him with much care in the back, and left him for dead again. - -"Cowan, however, refused to die, and though without food, and wounded in -the thigh, the head, and the back, and with his head hammered to a jelly -by the rocks thrown on it, started to crawl back to camp. He met -Indians, and hid from them. He crawled day after day--being unable to -walk a step. He had a chance--for an uninjured man--to catch a Nez -Percè pony which had been abandoned, but could not walk. Hard luck, -indeed! He met a body of friendly Bannock scouts who would have taken -care of him, but he supposed them to be hostiles and hid from them. -Harder luck still! After crawling seven or eight miles, which took -several days, he reached his old camp and there was reunited to his -faithful dog, which at first snapped at and then welcomed him. - -"At the camp his first good luck came--he found matches, coffee and some -food--not to mention the dog, which I venture to state helped him almost -as much as the provisions. Next day he met some scouts sent out to trail -the hostiles and incidentally with instructions to bury Cowan--but they -praised him instead. They fixed him up as well as they could, and left -him by their camp-fire to await the coming of General Howard with the -main body of troops. The ground was peaty, and full of dead vegetable -matter, and after a nap, Cowan awakened to find that the earth all about -him was on fire, and wounded as he was he had to roll out of the fire -zone, getting burned scandalously as he rolled." - -"Here," said the Hired Man. "You tell the rest of this to marines!" - -"I'm telling you," said the Colonel, "the historic truth. General Howard -came along and the surgeons gave Cowan all the care they were able to -afford him. They took him up to Bottler's Ranch, north of the Park, and -there Mrs. Cowan rejoined the remains and fragments of her still living -spouse. They went to Bozeman after a while, carrying Cowan in a wagon. -At the top of the hill down which they had to go, the neck-yoke broke -and the horses ran away, and spilled Cowan out on the rocks and the -generally unyielding surface of Montana. A conveyance was brought from -Bozeman, and the much-murdered man was taken to a hotel." - -"Thank God!" breathed the Poet. "Even a Montana hotel was a sweet boon -as bringing the end of these troubles." - -"Who said it was the end?" inquired the Colonel. "It wasn't. In the -hotel at Bozeman his hoodoo haunted him. People flocked to the hotel to -see him. If the vaudeville stage had been invented then in its present -form, he could have made a fortune. They crowded into his room and sat -on his bed. The bed collapsed, and Cowan was hurled to the floor and -killed again. The hotel-keeper, seeing that even a cat's supply of lives -must be about used up, ordered the crowd out of the place. He said he -thought of throwing Cowan out, too, being afraid his hotel would burn -up, or be blown away, or something, with such a Jonah aboard. But Cowan -succeeded in getting home. They asked him if he didn't often think of -his soul's salvation while enduring all these sufferings and passing -through all these perils. 'Not by a damned sight!' said the -unreconstructed sinner. 'I had more important things to think of!'" - -"And all that took place right here?" asked the Bride. - -"Here and hereabouts," answered the Colonel. "I was here about the time, -and I know." - -"If Jim Bridger," said Aconite, "had narrated them adventures, what -would folks have said? And yet, the Colonel's correct. The tale are -true!" - -"Here's where you can sleep under a roof, Bride," said the Hired Man, as -they made camp at the Lower Geyser Basin. - -"So you don't want the rest of the story?" she queried. - -"Ma'am," said the Hired Man. "We should all be darned sorry to lose you -from the camp; but--" - -"But me no buts," said the Bride. "I stay with the--with--the what do -you call it, Mr. Driscoll, that I'm staying with?" - -"The outfit, Miss Bride," said Aconite. "And the outfit's shore -honored." And after the tasks of camp had been done, amid the strange -and daunting surroundings of the wonderful geyser basin, when the camp -reached that lull that precedes slumber, and which over all the world, -whether on prairie, in forest, or on desert, is devoted to tobacco, -music and tales, the Bride went on with her story. - - -THE TRIUMPH OF BILLY HELL - -THE SECOND PART OF THE BRIDE'S STORY - -The Pruntys live near Saint Joe, where they have a town and stockyards -and grain-elevators, and thousands and thousands of acres of land all of -their own, just like mediæval barons--only instead of having a castle -with a donjon-keep with battlements and mysterious oubliettes and -drizzly cells and a moat, they live in a great wooden house with -verandas all round, and of a sort of composite architecture--Billy says -that it is Queen Anne in front and Mary Ann at the rear--and hot and -cold water in every room, and with a stone windmill-tower with a wheel -on the top that you couldn't possibly put in a picture, it is so round -and machiney-looking. Old Mr. Prunty says it cost twenty-seven thousand -five hundred and eighty-three dollars and thirty-six cents--says it -every chance he gets, without the variation of a cent. The Pruntys are -scandalously rich. Their riches bought them a place in this play. - -When Pa had begun to forge to the front in Peoria, where he began, he -had all the knack he ever possessed for getting business, but he didn't -have much money. I don't see any reason why we shouldn't confess this -here. So he went to old Mr. Prunty, with whom he had become acquainted -while he was putting in a town lighting-plant in the Prunty private -village, and showed him how remunerative it would be to put money into -Pa's business. This Mr. Prunty did, and I once saw the balance-sheet -showing the profits he made. They were something frightful to a mind -alive to the evils of the concentration of wealth--and the necessity of -dividing with other people; but I shouldn't care so much for _that_, I -am afraid, if it hadn't brought us into relations with Enos Prunty, -Junior, who was brought up to the business of taking over the -Mid-Continent Electric Company, and incidentally, me. The very idea! - -I must not be disingenuous any more, and therefore I will admit that at -one time I should have consented to the merger if it hadn't been for -Enos' perfectly impossible name. Not that I loved him; not at all. But -he wasn't bad looking, and he had overcome a good deal of the Prunty -_gaucherie_--I should think he ought to, the schools he had been -through--and a girl really does like to think of trousseaux, and -establishments and the like. One day, though, I hired a card-writer on -the street to write out for me the name, "Mrs. Enos Prunty, Jr.," upon -looking at which I fled as from a pestilence, and threw it into the -grate, and had a fire kindled, although it was one of those awful days -when the coroner never can tell whether it was the heat or the humidity. - -I had met Billy in the restaurant the day before. - -But Pa liked Enos, and sort of treated the matter as if it were all -arranged; and when Billy came into the spotlight as our social -superior--which the Helmerstons would be by any of the old and outworn -standards--I began to pet Pa one evening, and ask him how he liked Mr. -Helmerston; whereupon Pa exploded with a terrific detonation, and said -he wanted the relations of Mr. Helmerston with the Blunt family confined -strictly to the field of business; that he hated and despised all the -insufferable breed of dubs--I never could get Pa to say "cad"--who crept -into employments like spies, under false pretenses, and called an -Institute of Technology a "Tech," and looked down on better electricians -who had come up by hard knocks. And Pa insisted that a man must have -been pretty tough who had acquired in college circles from the Atlantic -to the Missouri the _nom de guerre_ of "Billy Hell." - -Pa is a good business man, and has exceptional facilities for looking up -people's records; but it seemed a little sneaky to use them on Billy, -and to know so much, when we were so sure he never suspected a thing. I -told him so, too, but all he said was "Huh." I was very angry, and when -Mr. Prunty, Junior, came to see me next time I repulsed his addresses -with such scorn that he went away in a passion. He said he laid no claim -to being a human being, but he was, at least, a member of the animal -kingdom, and that my way of treating him would have been inhuman had he -been a toadstool. I retorted that I'd concede him a place among the -mushrooms--fancy _my_ twitting any one of mushroomery! But the -old-family attitude of the Helmerstons was getting into my mental -system. - -Pa, in the meantime, was preparing to shunt Billy off to Mexico to -superintend the installation of the Guadalanahuato power plant--a two -years' job--at a splendid salary. But our Mr. Burns went over to the -Universal Electric Company (after we had made him what he was!) and Mr. -Aplin proved quite incapable of running the business, although he was -_such_ a genius in watts and farads and ohms and the coefficient of -self-induction, and Billy was simply forked into the general charge of -the main office, against his will, and shockingly against Pa's. - -I forgot to say that Pa was ill, and confined to his room for a long -time. This touches a tender spot in Pa's feelings, but the truth must be -told; and you must understand that all his illness came from an -ingrowing toe-nail. He had to have an operation, and then he had to stay -in the house because it wouldn't heal; and there he was, using language -which is really scandalous for a good church-worker like Pa, while Billy -attended to the business. - -I heaped coals of fire on Pa's head by staying with him hours and hours -every day, and reading to him, until he asked me for goodness' sake to -stop until he got the cross-talk out of his receiver. I said I'd be glad -to dispense with all his cross talk, and he said: "There, now, don't -cry"--and we had a regular love feast. Pa was a little difficult at this -period. However, that day he got more confidential than he ever was -before, and told me that serious business troubles were piling up, and -worried him. We were likely, he said, to be spared the disgrace of dying -rich. This was irony, for Pa despises this new idea that one should -apologize for one's success. - -He went on to tell me that Mr. Prunty had always had the most stock in -the Mid-Continent, and that now that Enos had got so conceited about -being able to run the business, and not being allowed to, the Pruntys -seemed to want the whole thing, and hinted around about withdrawing, or -buying Pa out. - -I have this scene all in my mind for the play, with me sitting in "a dim -religious light" and listening to the recital of our ruin and crying -over Pa's sore foot. I did cry a good deal about this, truly, for I knew -perfectly well that it was the nasty way I had treated Enos that made -them so mean; but I still wished from the bottom of my heart that he -would come back so I could search my soul for worse things to do to -him. I told Billy about this trouble, and explained that Pa couldn't -possibly raise money to buy out the Pruntys, and that they could be -calculated upon not to pay Pa anything like what his stock was worth. - -"I see," said Billy, "you are being squeezed by the stronger party." - -He was looking out of the window in an abstracted sort of way, but he -came to when I answered that, personally, I hadn't been conscious of -anything of the sort. - -When the conversation got around to the business again, Billy told me -that Goucher--a Missourian that the Pruntys had injected into the -business, and who was perfectly slavish in his subserviency to Enos--had -been quizzing around Billy, trying to find out what ailed Pa, and if it -was anything serious. - -"I didn't like the little emissary," said Billy, "and so I told him that -Mr. Blunt was precariously ill, with a complication of Bright's disease -in its tertiary stage, and locomotor ataxia. He wrote down the Bright's -disease and asked me how to spell the other. I told him that the -Bright's disease would probably terminate fatally before he could master -so much orthography; and still he didn't tumble! Goucher went away -conscious of having performed well an important piece of work. I can't -help thinking now that this incident has more significance than I then -supposed." - -He sat puckering up his brows for a long time, and I let him pucker. - -At last he said: "Dolly, I shouldn't a bit wonder if they are trying to -take some advantage of a dying man. I can see how they work the problem -out. 'Here is a sick man,' they say, 'who has been doing the work of -half a dozen for twenty years. He is going to pieces physically. If he -has some fatal disease, and knows it, we can settle with him, and make -him pay a few hundred thousand dollars for the privilege of getting his -daughter's inheritance disentangled from a business which she can't run, -and in which she will be at the mercy of--of people with whom her -relations are a little strained. But first, we'll find out just how sick -he is, and whether he's likely to get well soon, or at all.' And so they -send Goucher mousing about; and he reports Bright's disease, and -something else he can't spell, and they make an appointment with -Helmerston for to-morrow morning to find out more about it, Mr. Goucher -not being very clear. And your father's rather fierce manner of hiding -what his ailment really is makes them all the more suspicious." - -"You tell them," said I, firing up, "that Pa is still able--" - -But I saw that Billy had one of those epoch-making ideas which mark the -crises of history, and I stopped spellbound. He finally struck himself a -fearful blow upon the knee, and said that he had it, and one looking at -him could easily believe it. Then he explained to me his plan for -discomfiting the Pruntys and hoisting them by their own petard. This is -deeply psychological, being based upon an intuitive perception of what a -Prunty would do when he believed certain things and had money at stake. - -"I must take responsibility in this," said Billy, squaring his -shoulders, "and bet my job on my success, and put our happiness in -jeopardy. But, if we win, Mr. Blunt can never again say that I am an -engineer only, with no head for practical business; and I shall have -outlived the disgrace of my Tech training--and the nickname. You must -handle your father, and keep me informed of any engagement the Pruntys -make with him. I must do the rest. And, if I lose, it's back to climbing -poles again!" - -I asked Billy if I couldn't do something in line work, and he said I -might carry the pliers. And when I said I meant it, he behaved -beautifully, and called me his angel, and--and violated the rules, you -know--and went away in a perfect frenzy of determination. I felt a -solemn joy in spying on Pa and reporting to Billy. It seemed like a -foretaste of a life all bound up and merged with his. And this is what -took place: - -The elder Mr. Prunty called on Billy and said he was appalled at the -news Mr. Goucher brought that Mr. Blunt had Bright's disease; and was -there any hope that the doctors might be mistaken? - -Billy told him that the recent progress in bacteriological science, with -which Mr. Prunty was no doubt fully conversant, seemed to make the -diagnosis a cinch. By this he meant that they were sure about it. - -"I see," said the driver. "I've heared the word afore." - -He used a term that Mr. Prunty understood, Billy said, owing to his -having done business all his life with reference to it. - -Mr. Prunty suggested that people live a long time with Bright's disease, -sometimes. - -Billy, who is really a great actor, here grew mysterious, and told Mr. -Prunty that, being mixed up with Mr. Blunt in business, it seemed a pity -that he, Mr. Prunty, should have the real situation concealed from him, -and that, as a matter of fact, Mr. Blunt's most pronounced outward -symptom was a very badly ulcerated index toe. This of Billy's own -knowledge, and Mr. Prunty might depend upon it. - -Mr. Prunty studied on this for a long time, and then remarked that he -had known several people to recover from sore toes. - -Billy then pulled a book--a medical work he had borrowed--from under the -desk, and showed Mr. Prunty a passage in which it was laid down that -people's toes come off sometimes, in a most inconvenient way, in the -last stages of Bright's disease. Mr. Prunty read the whole page, -including a description of the way that dread disease ruins the -complexion, by making it pasty and corpselike, and then laid the book -down with conviction in his eyes. - -"From this," said he, motioning at the book with his glasses, "it would -seem to be all off." - -"If it's Bright's disease," said Billy, "that causes this lesion of the -major lower digit, the prognosis is, no doubt, extremely grave. But -while there's life, you know--" - -"Yes," answered Mr. Prunty, "that is a comfort, of course. Does he know -what ails him?" - -"He is fully aware of his condition," said Billy, "but, unfortunately, -not yet resigned to it." (I should think not.) - -"I see you have been studying this thing out," said Mr. Prunty, "as -exactly as if it had been an engineering problem; and I want to say, Mr. -Helmerston, that I like your style. If we ever control this business the -future of such careful and competent and far-sighted men as yourself--in -fact, I may say _your_ future--will be bright and assured. Have you any -more information for me as to this--this sad affair of Blunt's?" - -Billy thanked him, and said he hadn't, at present, and Mr. Prunty went -away, trying to look sad. Billy went to the bank in Pa's name and -arranged for a lot of money to be used in acquiring the Prunty stock, if -it should be needed. The stock was worth twice as much, and the bank -people knew it, and couldn't have believed, of course, that we would get -it for _that_. Then the Pruntys made an engagement with me for Pa over -the telephone, for a certain hour of a certain day, and I told Billy. - -"The time has come," said Billy, when the plot began thickening in this -way, "for Little Willie to beard the lion in his den. Smuggle me into -the room an hour before the Pruntys are due, darling, and we'll cast the -die." - -I was all pale and quivery when I kissed Billy--in that sort of serious -way in which we women kiss people we like, when we tell them to come -back with their shields or on them--and pushed him into the room. - -I heard all they said. It was dark in there, and Pa thought at first -that it was a Prunty. Pa was sitting in the Morris chair, with his foot -on a rest. - -"That you, Enos?" said he. "Help yourself to a chair. I'm kind of laid -up for repairs." - -"It's Helmerston," said Billy. "I called to talk to you about this -affair with Mr. Prunty. I have some information which may be of value to -you." - -Pa sat as still as an image for perhaps a minute. I could almost hear -his thoughts. He was anathematizing Billy mentally for butting in, but -he was too good a strategist to throw away any valuable knowledge. - -"Well," said he at last, "I'm always open to valuable information. Turn -it loose!" - -Then Billy told him all you know, and a good deal more, which I shall -not here state, because it is not necessary to the scenario, and I did -not understand it, anyhow. There was some awfully vivid conversation at -times, though, when Pa went up into the air at what Billy had done, and -Billy talked him down. - -"Do you mean to say, you--you young lunatic," panted Pa, "that you've -told Prunty that he's got a living corpse to deal with, when I need all -the prestige I've won with him to hold my own?" - -But Billy explained that he'd taken the liberty of thinking the whole -thing out; and, anyhow, had merely refrained from removing a mistaken -notion from Prunty's mind. - -"But," said he, "you can assure him when he gets here that you are -really in robust health." - -"Assure him!" roared Pa. "He'd be dead sure I was trying to put myself -in a better light for the dicker. I couldn't make him believe anything -at all. I know Prunty." - -Billy said that the psychology of the situation was plain. Mr. Prunty -was convinced that Pa was in such a condition that he never could go -back to the office, and could no more take sole ownership of the -Mid-Continent than a baby could enter a shot-putting contest. What would -they do when it came to making propositions? They would offer something -that they were sure a case in the tertiary stage couldn't accept. They -would probably offer to give or take a certain price for the stock. -Believing that Pa wasn't in position to buy, but was really forced to -sell, they would name a frightfully low price, so that when Pa accepted -it perforce they would be robbing him out of house and home, almost. -This was the way with these shrewd traders always, and to whipsaw a -dying man would be nuts for a man like Prunty. (I am here falling into -Billy's dialect when he was in deadly earnest.) Then the conversation -grew mysterious again with Pa listening, and once admitting that "that -would be like old Enos." - -"But he'll back out," said Pa, "if he's thief enough ever to start in." - -"Have him make a memorandum in writing, and sign it," answered Billy. - -"But," rejoined Pa, in a disgusted way, as if to ask why he condescended -to argue with this young fool, "you don't know Prunty. Unless he has -the cash in hand he'll go to some lawyer and find a way out." - -"I thought of that, too," said Billy; "and so I took the liberty of -going to the bank and getting the cash--for temporary use, you know." - -"I like your nerve!" moaned Pa angrily. "Do you know, young man, that -you've built up a situation that absolutely forces me to adopt your fool -plans? Absolutely infernal nonsense! To imagine it possible to get the -Prunty stock at any such figures is--" And Pa threw up wild hands of -desperation to an unpitying sky. - -"Is it possible to imagine," said Billy, "such a thing as the Pruntys -trying to get your stock at that figure? That's the thing I'm looking -for and counting on." And when Pa failed to reply, but only chewed his -mustache, Billy went on: "I thought the logic of the situation would -appeal to you," said he. "And now let us set the stage. The time is -short." - -And then came the most astounding thing, and the thing that showed -Billy's genius. First he took out the electric-light bulbs of the -electrolier, and screwed in others made of a sort of greenish -glass--just a little green tinge in it. He took some stage appliances -and put just a little shade of dark under Pa's eyes, and at the corners -of his mouth; and when the green lights were turned on Pa had the most -ghastly, ghostly, pasty, ghoulish look any one ever saw. I was actually -frightened when I came in: it was as bad as Doctor Jekyll turned to Mr. -Hyde. Pa looked rather cheap while Billy was doing this, but the time -was getting short, and he was afraid the Pruntys would come bursting in -and catch them at it. Billy placed Pa right under the green lights, and -shaded them so that the rest of us received only the unadulterated -output of the side lamps. Then they arranged their cues, and Billy -stepped into the next room. As he went, Pa swore for the first time -since he quit running the line-gang, when, he claims, it was necessary. - -"If this goes wrong, as it will," he hissed through his livid lips, -"I'll kick you from here to the city-limits if it blows the plug in the -power-house!" - -"Very well, sir," answered Billy--and the footman announced the Pruntys. - -I was as pale as a ghost, and my eyes were red, and the look of things -was positively sepulchral when they came in, Enos tagging at his -father's heels as if he was ashamed. The footman turned on the light, -and almost screamed as he looked at poor Pa, with the pasty green in -his complexion, and the cavernous shadows under his eyes. Billy had seen -to it that the Pruntys had had plenty of literature on the symptoms of -Bright's disease, and I could see them start and exchange looks as Pa's -state dawned on them. - -"I'm sorry to see you in this condition," said Mr. Prunty, after Pa had -weakly welcomed them and told them to sit down. - -"What condition?" snapped Pa, the theatricality wearing off. "I'm all -right, if it wasn't for this blamed toe!" - -"Is it very bad?" asked Mr. Prunty. - -"It won't heal," growled Pa, and the visitors exchanged glances again. -"But you didn't come here to discuss sore toes. Let's get down to -business." - -Then Mr. Prunty, in a subdued and sort of ministerial voice, explained -to Pa that he was getting along in years, and that Pa wasn't long--that -is, that Pa was getting along in years, too--and both parties would, no -doubt, be better satisfied if their interests were separated. Therefore -he had decided to withdraw his capital from the business, and place it -in some other enterprise which would give his son a life work along -lines laid out in his education and training. He didn't want to sell -his stock to the Universal Electric Company as he had a chance to do (Pa -started fiercely here, for he was afraid of the Universal Electric); -although the old agreement by which neither party was to sell out to a -competitor was probably no longer binding; and so they had come as man -to man to talk adjustment. - -"But," says Pa, "this takes me by surprise. I don't quite see my way -clear to taking on such a load as carrying all the stock would be. -Mid-Continent stock is valuable." - -They exchanged glances again, as much as to say that Pa was evidently -anxious to sell rather than buy, and was crying the stock up -accordingly, so as to get as much money as he could for me before he -died. - -"We may not be so grasping as you think," said Mr. Prunty; and then -nothing was said for quite a while. - -Pa was looking awfully sick, and Mr. Prunty was just exuding love and -kindness and magnanimity from every pore. - -"You had some proposition thought out," interrogated Pa, feeling -anxiously for his own pulse, "or you wouldn't have come. What is it, -Prunty?" - -"Well," answered Mr. Prunty, gazing piercingly at Pa, as if to ask if -such a cadaverous person _could_ possibly take on the sole control of -the Mid-Continent even if he had the money--"well, we had thought of it -a little, that's a fact. We thought we'd make you an offer to buy or -sell--" - -"Hurrah for Billy!" my heart shouted. For this was just what he said -would happen. But, instead of hurrahing, I came to the front and gave Pa -a powder. It was mostly quinine, and was dreadfully bitter. - -"To buy or sell," went on Mr. Prunty, "at a price to be named by us. If -it's a reasonable figure, take our stock and give us our money. If it's -too high, why, sell us yours. That's fair, ain't it?" - -Pa lay back and looked green and groaned. He was doing it nobly. - -"What is fair in some circumstances," he moaned, "is extortion in -others; and I--er--yes, I suppose it would be called fair. What's your -give-or-take price, Prunty?" - -"We are willing," said Mr. Prunty, "to give or take seventy-five for the -stock." - -Pa was so still that I had to rouse him, and Mr. Prunty repeated his -offer. - -"I--I'm getting a little forgetful," said Pa, "and I'd like to have you -put it in writing, so I can consider it, and be sure I have it right, -you know." - -The Pruntys consulted again, and again they came forward. Enos wrote -down the proposition, and Mr. Prunty signed it. I didn't understand it -very well, and the strain was so frightful that I expected to fly all to -pieces every instant, but I didn't. - -When Enos handed the paper to Pa, Pa cleared his throat in a kind of -scraping way, and in stepped Billy with a great box under his arm. - -"Mr. Helmerston," said Pa, as calmly as General Grant at--any place -where he was especially placid--"I want you and my daughter to be -witnesses to the making of the proposition in this writing, from Mr. -Prunty to me." - -Billy read the paper, and said he understood that it was a give-or-take -offer of seventy-five for all the stock of the Mid-Continent. Mr. Prunty -said yes, looking rather dazed, and not so sympathetic. - -"I accept the proposition," snapped Pa, his jaw setting too awfully firm -for the tertiary stage. "I'll take your stock at seventy-five. -Helmerston, pay 'em the money!" - -Billy had the cash in ten-thousand-dollar bundles; and I was so -fascinated at the sight of so much treasure being passed over like -packages of bonbons, that for a while I didn't see how funny Mr. Prunty -was acting. When I did look, he was holding his nose in the air and -gasping like one of Aunt Maria's little chickens with the pip. He seemed -to have a sort of progressive convulsions, beginning low down in -wrigglings of the legs, and gradually moving upward in jerks and gurgles -and gasps, until it went off into space in twitchings of his mouth and -eyes and nose and forehead. Enos had the bundles of money counted, and a -receipt written, before he noticed that his father was having these -fits, and then _he_ seemed scared. I suppose these people have a sort of -affection for each other, after all. - -"Father," said he--"Father, what's the matter?" - -"Matter?" roared Mr. Prunty. "Does the fool ask what's the matter? Don't -you see we're done brown? Look at the basketful they brought, that we -might just as well have had as not, if it hadn't been for--Blast you, -Blunt, I'll show you you can't chisel old Enos Prunty out of his good -money like this, I will! I'll put the whole kit and boodle of yeh in -jail! That stock is worth a hundred and fifty, if it's worth a cent. -Ene, if you'll stand by like a stoughton bottle and see your old father -hornswoggled out of his eye-teeth by a college dude and this old -confidence-man, you'll never see a cent of my money, never! Do you hear, -you ass? He's no more sick than I am! That's false pretenses, ain't it? -He's got some darned greenery-yallery business on that face of his! -Ain't that false? Blunt, if you don't give me the rest in the basket -there I'll law you to the Supreme Court!" - -"Hush, father," said Enos; "Aurelia's here." - -"When you get everything set," said Pa, with a most exasperating smile, -"just crack ahead with your lawsuit. We'll trot you a few heats, anyhow. -You'd better take your pa away, Enos, and buy him a drink of something -cool." - -"I want to compliment you, Mr. Helmerston," said Enos, quite like a -gentleman, "on the success of your little stage-business, and especially -on your careful forecast of the play of human motives. I can see that a -man with only ordinary business dishonesty, like myself, need not be -surprised at defeat by such a master of finesse as you." - -He bowed toward me. Billy flushed. - -"If you mean, sir--" he began. - -"Oh, I mean nothing offensive," answered Enos. "I will be in the office -in the morning, and shall be ready, as secretary, to transfer this stock -on the books, previous to resigning. Come, father, we've got our -beating; but we can still have the satisfaction of being good losers. -Good-by, Miss Blunt; I wish you joy!" - -Pa came out of the green light as they disappeared, limping on his -wrapped-up foot, and shouted that he had always said that Enos was a -brick, and now he knew it. I ran up to him and kissed him. Then I threw -myself into Billy's arms. - -"Aurelia!" said Pa, looking as cross as a man _could_ look in such -circumstances, "I should think you'd be ashamed of yourself!" - -I dropped into a chair and covered up my face, while Pa went on -addressing Billy, trying to be severe on him for letting me kiss him, -and to beam on him at the same time for helping him with the Pruntys. - -"Young man," said he, "I owe you a great deal. This tomfoolery happened -to work. Please to consider yourself a part of the Mid-Continent -Electric Company in any capacity you choose." - -"Yes, sir," said Billy, gathering up the money. "Is that all, sir?" - -"I should like to have you take Enos' place as secretary," added Pa. - -"Thank you," said Billy. "I shall be pleased and honored. Is that all? -Do I still go to Mexico?" - -Pa pondered and fidgeted, and acted awfully ill at ease. - -"Yes," said he at last. "You're the only competent engineer we've got -who understands the plans. You'll have to go for a few months--if you -don't mind--anyhow." - -"Pa," said I, "I'm tired of metal work, and I need a vacation in new and -pleasant surroundings, and--and associations. Billy is awfully pleasant -to associate with, and--and be surrounded by; and I've never, never been -in Guadalanawhat-you-may-call-it; and--and--may we Pa?" - -"Young woman!" glared Pa, "who have you the effrontery to call -'Billy'?"--Pa could never acquire what he calls "the 'whom' habit." - -Billy stepped manfully forward. - -"You would recognize the name 'Billy,'" said he, "if it were joined with -the rather profane surname with which it is, unfortunately, connected, -'from the Atlantic to the Missouri.' Mr. Blunt, you can not be ignorant -of the sweet dream in which I have indulged myself with reference to -your daughter. I know I am unworthy of her--" - -"Oh, cut that short!" said Pa. "Take this grease off my face, and remove -these infernal stage lights! There, Dolly--there! Mr. Helmerston, -er--Billy--will start for Mexico within a month. If you--if you really -want to go with him, why go!" - -And so we're going, by way of Yellowstone Park. - - - - -CHAPTER IV - - -"You see," said Mr. Driscoll, when, after three days of independent -wonder-gazing in the thirty square miles of the Lower Geyser Basin, his -seven fares came together for departure, "as I told yeh, this trip is -just gettin' good." - -"I have seen," said the Poet, "a spring from the bottom of which fires -leap in lambent flames, to be quenched by the air when they reach the -surface. Let me die, now!" - -"I have seen," said the Artist, "the Mammoth Paint Pots from which we -may dip our colors in that day 'when earth's last picture is painted, -and the tubes are twisted and dried.'" - -"I have seen," said the Bride, "a lake perched upon a marble platform, -the slopes of which it drapes with a lace of runnels--like the web that -was woven by the Lady of Shalott while she looked in her magic mirror." - -"In that day when we perfect our mythology," said the Poet, "we shall -know of the nymph of this lake, who uses it as a mirror, and will die if -she looks away from the image to gaze on the real knight as he passes." - -"I question that, really," said the Professor. "In an age of pure -science--" - -"Scat!" said the Colonel. "I have seen a pool that goes mad when any -passing idiot throws gross material into its pure idealism--and I -sympathize with it." - -"I have seen," went on Professor Boggs, "a natural object--I refer to -the Fountain Geyser--which gives us a valuable lesson in steady -performance, with no eccentricities. Every four hours it plays for -fifteen minutes, shooting its water to a height of sixty feet. Note the -mathematical correspondence--the feet correspond to the minutes in the -hour--the hours are four--four into sixty goes fifteen times, the number -of minutes the geyser plays--I shall work this out in an essay--it seems -very significant." - -"I have seen," said the Groom, "in the Great Fountain Geyser, a natural -power installation. It throws its huge volume of water to a height of -one hundred feet. It is on a pedestal like an emplacement for a -monument, and its crater looks like the hole in which to set the shaft. -That makes the matter of utilizing the power a cinch. I figure--" - -"Billy!" said the Bride. "Aren't you ashamed?" - -"The Professor and myself," answered the Groom, "represent the spirit of -the age. We only are sane." - -"You, Billy Helmerston," said the Bride, "are a fraud!" - - * * * * * - -Nine miles to the Upper Geyser Basin--passing the Midway Basin -half-way--and the tourists found their tents already pitched by Aconite -who had preceded them with the impedimenta, and returned light for the -drive. They took a whole day for the journey, and even so felt as if -they were committing an atrocity in negligence. The Jewell Geyser, the -Sapphire Pool and the Mystic Falls seemed small by comparison with the -gigantic phenomena of the Lower Basin, and smaller still next day -compared with the stupendous marvels of the Upper Basin. At the Mystic -Falls, the Bride insisted on taking luncheon. - -"It's like the really normal loveliness of earth," said she. "It goes -better with humanity, and luncheon, and flowers and fairies and gentle -things. I want to eat a meal in neither Paradise nor the Inferno--and we -seem to be in one or the other most of the time." - -At luncheon, Professor Boggs came forward with an original and practical -idea with relation to the Yellowstone Nights' Entertainment, as they had -come to call their camp-fire stories. - -"I hold," said he, "that one is entitled to time for putting his -thoughts in order before presuming to deliver an address, even of the -narrative sort. I find myself apprehensive of being called upon next, -and this interferes with my powers of observation. I suggest that we -cast lots for the next tale now, and thus free the minds of all but the -narrator, who may retire if he choose, and collate his data." - -"It's a good thought," said the Groom. "Poet, perform your office!" - -The Poet passed the hat to the Bride, who closed her eyes and felt about -discriminatingly, saying she was trying to find Billy in the hat. The -Poet read the ballot and handed it to the Artist. - -"Groom!" read the Artist, handing the slip of paper to Billy. "You're -nominated." - -"Stung!" ejaculated Billy. - - -THE HEART OF GOLIATH - -THE STORY TOLD BY THE GROOM - -"I often think," said the Groom, in beginning his tale that night, "when -this adventure recurs to me, what a different world it would be if we -could see into one another's minds, and telepathically search one -another's hearts. I don't know whether it would be better or not; but -that it would be different, this story proves. It is a tale that came to -me when I was traveling about in the Missouri Valley, earning the money -for my Tech course, and long before my time with the Mid-Continent -Electric Company. It shows how a soul that is pitchy darkness to its -nearest and dearest, may be illumined by the electric light of -self-revelation to the eye of the chance-met stranger." - - * * * * * - -I first saw him on the platform just before my train pulled out from -Sioux City to Aberdeen. He was a perfect mountain--an Alp, a -Himalaya--of man. He must have been well toward seven feet tall; and so -vast were his proportions that as he stooped to the window to buy his -ticket he reminded me of a mastiff peering into a mouse's hole. From a -distance--one could scarcely take in the details at close range--I -studied him as a remarkable specimen of the brawny western farmer, whose -score in any exhibition would be lowered by one fact only: lofty as his -height was, he was getting too heavy for it. - -I had to go into the smoking-car to find a vacant seat, and there I -could see but one. I had but just slipped into it when in came the -Gargantuan farmer and sat down all over me, in a seemingly ruthless -exercise of his undoubted right to half the seat, and his unquestionable -ability to appropriate as much more as his dimensions required. Falstaff -with his page reminded himself of a sow that had overwhelmed all her -litter save one: I felt like the last of the litter in process of -smothering. And he was as ignorant of my existence, apparently, as could -possibly be required by the comparison. - -He wore with bucolic negligence clothes of excellent quality. His hat -was broad as a prairie. I have no idea where such hats are bought. I am -sure I never saw one of such amplitude of brim on sale anywhere. It was -of the finest felt, and had a band of heavy leather pressed into a -design in bas-relief. A few dried alfalfa leaves had lodged in the -angle between the crown and the brim, and clung there, even when he took -the hat off to wipe his brow, thus giving me a view of the plateau of -felt, which I should never have obtained otherwise. - -His face was enormous but not puffy; and the red veinlets on the cheek -and nose had acquired their varicosity by weathering rather than by -indulgence. His hair was clipped short, as though he had had a complete -job done as a measure of economizing time. He had a high beak of a nose, -with rugged promontories of bone at the bridge, like the shoulders of a -hill; and his mouth was a huge but well-shaped feature, hard and -inflexible like the mouth of a cave. - -His shirt was of blue flannel, clean and fine, and its soft roll collar -fell away from his great muscular neck unconfined and undecorated by any -sort of cravat. His tun of a torso bulged roundly out in front of me -like the sponson of a battleship. Stretched across the immense waistcoat -was a round, spirally-fluted horsehair watchguard as big as a rope, with -massive golden fastenings; and suspended from it was a golden steer made -by some artificer who had followed Cellini afar off, if at all, and -which gave the area (one must use geographical terms in describing the -man), an auriferous and opulent appearance. - -His trousers were spotted with the stains of stables; and his huge -boots, like barges, had similar discolorations overlaying a brilliant -shine. He carried one of those heavy white sticks with which the drovers -and dealers at the Sioux City stockyards poke the live stock and take -the liberties accorded to prospective purchasers with pigs and bullocks. -On the crook of this he rested his great hands, one piled upon the -other, and stared, as if fascinated by them, at four soldiers returning -from service in the Philippines, who had two seats turned together, and -were making a gleeful function of their midday meal, startling the South -Dakota atmosphere with the loud use of strange-sounding expressions in -Tagalog and Spanish, and, with military brutality, laughing at the dying -struggles of a fellow-man being slowly pressed to death under that human -landslide. I resented their making light of such a subject. - -My oppressor stared at them with a grim and unwavering gaze that finally -seemed to put them out and set them ill at ease; for they became so -quiet that we could hear noises other than theirs. Once in a while, -however, they winked at me to show their appreciation of my agonies, -and made remarks about the water-cure and the like, meant for my ears. -My incubus seemed not to hear a word of this badinage. I wondered if he -were not deaf, or a little wrong in his intellect. The train stopped at -a little station just as I had become quite desperate, and two men -sitting in front of us got off. With the superhuman strength of the last -gasp I surged under my tormentor--and he noticed me. I verily believe -that until that instant he had not known of my presence; he gave such a -deliberate sort of start. - -"Excuse me!" said he. "Forgot they was any one here--let me fix you!" - -He had already almost done so; but he meant well. He rose to take the -vacated seat; but with a glance at the soldiers he threw the back over, -turned his back to them and his face to me, and sat down. His ponderous -feet like valises rested on each side of mine, his body filled the seat -from arm to arm. For a while, even after discovering me, he stared past -me as if I had been quite invisible. I saw a beady perspiration on his -brow as if he were under some great stress of feeling. It was getting -uncanny. I understood now how the soldiers, now breaking forth into riot -again, had been suppressed by that stony regard. When he spoke, -however, it was in commonplaces. - -"They're lots of 'em comin' back," said he. - -A slow thrust of the bulky thumb over his shoulder indicated that he -meant soldiers. I nodded assent. A great many were returning just then. - -"Jack's come back," said he; "quite a while." - -His voice was in harmony with his physique--deep, heavy, rough. Raised -in rage it might have matched the intonations of Stentor, and terrified -a thousand foes; for it was a phenomenal voice. The rumble of the train -was a piping treble compared with it. - -"You don't know Jack, do yeh?" he asked. - -"I think not," said I. - -"Course not," he replied. "Fool question! An' yit, he used to know most -of you fellers." - -I wondered just what he might mean by "you fellows," but he was silent -again. - -"You don't live near here," he stated at last. - -"No," said I. "I am just passing through." - -"If you lived in these parts," said he, "you'd know him." - -"I dare say," I replied. "Who is Jack?" - -I was a little piqued at his rudeness; for he returned no reply. Then I -saw that he was gazing into vacancy again so absently that I should have -pronounced his case one of mental trouble if his appearance had not been -so purely physical. He took from a cigar-case a big, dark, massive -cigar, clubhouse shape like himself, gave it to me and lighted the twin -of it. I thought myself entitled to reparation for his maltreatment of -me, and, seeing that it was a good cigar, I took it. As for any further -converse, I had given that up, when there rumbled forth from him a -soliloquy rather than a story. He appeared to have very little -perception of me as an auditor. I think now that he must have been in -great need of some one to whom he might talk, and that his relations to -those about him forbade any outpouring of expression. He seemed all the -time in the attitude of repelling attack. He did not move, save as he -applied the cigar to his lips or took it away; and his great voice -rolled forth in subdued thunder. - -"I've got four sections of ground," said he, "right by the track.... -Show you the place when we go through. Of course I've got a lot of other -truck scattered around.... Land at the right figger you've got to -buy--got to.... But when I hadn't but the four sections--one section -overruns so they's a little over twenty-six hundred acres--I thought -'twas about the checker f'r a man with three boys.... One f'r each o' -them, you understand, an' the home place f'r mother if anything -happened.... Mother done jest as much to help git the start as I did.... -Plumb as much--if not more. - -"Tom an' Wallace is good boys--none better. I'd about as quick trust -either of 'em to run the place as to trust myself." - -There was a candid self-esteem in the word "about" and his emphasis on -it. - -"I sent Wallace," he resumed, "into a yard of feeders in Montana to pick -out a trainload o' tops with a brush and paint-pot, an' I couldn't 'a' -got a hundred dollars better deal if I'd spotted 'em myself.... That's -goin' some f'r a kid not twenty-five. Wallace knows critters ... f'r a -boy ... mighty well.... An' Tom's got a way of handlin' land to get the -last ten bushel of corn to the acre that beats me with all my -experience.... These colleges where they study them things do some good, -I s'pose; but it's gumption, an' not schoolin', that makes boys like Tom -an' Wallace.... They're all right.... They'd 'a' made good anyhow." - -I could feel an invidious comparison between Tom and Wallace, of whom he -spoke with such laudatory emphasis, and some one else whom I suspected -to be the Jack who had come back from the Philippines; and his next -utterance proved this instinctive estimate of the situation to be -correct. He went on, slower than before, with long pauses in which he -seemed lost in thought, and in some of which I gave up, without much -regret, I confess, the idea of ever hearing more of Jack or his -brothers. - -"Jack was always mother's boy," said he. "Mother's boy ... you know how -it is.... Make beds, an' dust, an' play the pianah, an' look after the -flowers!... Wasn't bigger'n nothin', either.... Girl, I always thought, -by good rights. I remember ... mother wanted him to be a girl.... She -was on the square with the children ... but if any boy got a shade the -best of it anywhere along the line, it was Jack.... I don't guess Tom -an' Wallace ever noticed; but maybe Jack got a leetle the soft side o' -things from mother.... Still, she's al'ays been dumbed square.... - -"I seen as soon as he got old enough to take holt, an' didn't, that he -wasn't wuth a cuss.... Never told mother, an' never let on to the boys; -but I could see he was no good, Jack wasn't.... Some never owns up when -it's their own folks ... but what's the use lyin'?... Hed to hev a -swaller-tail coat, an' joined a 'country club' down to town--an' him -a-livin' in the middle of a strip o' country a mile wide an' four long, -wuth a hundred dollars an acre ... all ourn ... goin' out in short pants -to knock them little balls around that cost six bits apiece. I didn't -let myself care much about it; but 'country club!'--Hell!" - -He had visualized for me the young fellow unfitted to his surroundings, -designed on a scale smaller than the sons of Anak about him, deft in -little things, finical in dress, fond of the leisure and culture of the -club, oppressed with the roughnesses and vastnesses about his father's -farms, too tender for the wild winds and burning suns, with nerves -attuned to music and art rather than to the crushing of obstacles and -the defeat of tasks: and all the while the image of "mother" brooded -over him. All this was vividly in the picture--very vividly, considering -the unskilful brush with which it had been limned--but just as it began -to appeal to me, Anak fell quiescent. - -"I never thought he was anything wuss than wuthless," he went on, at -last, "till he come to me to git some money he'd lost at this here -club.... Thirty-seven dollars an' fifty cents.... Gamblin'.... I told -him not by a damned sight; an' he cried--cried like a baby.... I'd 'a' -seen him jugged 'fore I'd 'a' give him thirty-seven fifty of my good -money lost that way.... Not me. - -"... Wallace give him the money f'r his shotgun.... An' mother--she -al'ays knowed when Jack had one o' his girl-cryin' fits--she used to go -up after Jack come in them nights, an' when he got asleep so he wouldn't -know it she'd go in and kiss him.... Watched and ketched her at it, but -never let on.... She run down bad--gittin' up before daylight an' broke -of her rest like that.... I started in oncet to tell her he was no good, -but I jest couldn't.... Turned it off on a hoss by the name o' Jack we -had, an' sold him to make good f'r twenty-five dollars less'n he was -wuth, ruther'n tell her what I started to.... She loved that wuthless -boy, neighbor--there ain't no use denyin' it, she did love him." - -He paused a long while, either to ponder on the strange infatuation of -"mother" for "Jack" or to allow me to digest his statement. A dog--one -of the shaggy brown enthusiasts that chase trains--ran along by the cars -until distanced, and then went back wagging his tail as if he had -expelled from the neighborhood some noxious trespasser--as he may have -conceived himself to have done. Goliath watched him with great apparent -interest. - -"Collie," said he, at last. "Know anything about collies? Funny dogs! -Lick one of 'em oncet an' he's never no good any more.... All kind o' -shruvle up by lickin', they're that tender-hearted.... Five year ago -this fall Tom spiled a fifty-dollar pedigreed collie by jest slappin' -his ears an' jawin' him.... Some critters is like that ... Jack ... -was!" - -He faltered here, and then flamed out into pugnacity, squaring his huge -jaw as if I had accused him--as I did in my heart, I suspect. - -"But the dog," he rumbled, "was wuth somethin'--Jack never was.... -Cryin' around f'r thirty-seven fifty!... Talkin' o' debts o' honor!... -That showed me plain enough he wasn't wuth botherin' with.... Got his -mother to come an' ask f'r an allowance o' money--so much a month.... -Ever hear of such a thing? An' him not turnin' his hand to a lick of -work except around the house helpin' mother.... Tom an' Wallace bed -quite a little start in live stock by this time, an' money in bank.... -Jack hed the same lay, but he fooled his away--fooled it away.... Broke -flat all the time, an' wantin' an allowance.... Mother said the young -sprouts at the club had allowances ... an' he read in books that laid -around the house about fellers in England an' them places havin' -allowances an' debts of honor.... Mother seemed to think one while that -we was well enough off so we could let Jack live like the fellers in the -books.... He lived more in them books than he did in South Dakoty, an' -talked book lingo all the time.... Mother soon seen she was wrong. - -"She was some hurt b'cause I talked to the neighbors about Jack bein' -plumb no good.... I don't know who told her.... I didn't want the -neighbors to think I was fooled by him.... I never said nothing to -mother, though.... She couldn't f'rgit thet he was her boy, an' she kep' -on lovin' him.... Nobody orto blame her much f'r that, no matter what -he done.... You know how it is with women. - -"One time purty soon after the thirty-seven fifty deal a bad check f'r -two hundred come into my bundle o' canceled vouchers at the bank, an' I -knowed in a minute who'd done it.... Jack had been walkin' the floor -nights f'r quite a spell, an' his eyes looked like a heifer's that's -lost her calf.... He hed a sweetheart in town.... Gal from the East ... -big an' dark an' strong enough to take Jack up an' spank him.... It was -her brother Jack had lost the money to. Jack jest wrote my name on a -check--never tried to imitate my fist much--an' the bank paid it.... -When I come home a-lookin' the way a man does that's been done that way -by a boy o' his'n, mother told me Jack was gone, an' handed me a letter -he left f'r me.... I never read it.... Went out to the barn so mother -wouldn't see me, an' tore it up.... I'd 'a' been damned before I'd 'a' -read it!" - -He gloomed out over my head in an expressionless way that aroused all -the curiosity I am capable of feeling as to the actual workings of -another's mind. He seemed to be under the impression that he had said a -great many things in the pause that ensued; or he regarded my -understanding as of small importance; for he recommenced at a point far -advanced in his narrative. - -"--'N' finely," said he very calmly, "we thought she was goin' to die. I -asked the doctor what we could do, an' he told me what.... Knowed all -the boys since he helped 'em into the world, you know--a friend more'n a -doctor--an' he allowed it was Jack she was pinin' f'r. So I goes to her, -a-layin' in bed as white as a sheet, an' I says, 'Mother, if they's -anything you want, you can hev it, if it's on earth, no matter how -no-account I think it is!' ... A feller makes a dumb fool of himself -such times, neighbor; but mother was good goods when we was poor an' -young--any one of the neighbors can swear to that.... She looks up at -me ... an' whispers low ... 'Go an' find him!' ... An' I went. - -"I knowed purty nigh where to look. I went to Chicago. He'd dropped -clean down to the bottom, neighbor.... Playin' a pianah ... f'r his -board an' lodgin' an' beer ... in ... in a beer hall." - -I was quite sure, he paused so long, that he had told all he had to -narrate of this history of the boy who could not stand punishment, and -was so much like a collie; and I knew from the manner in which he had -lapsed into silence, more than from what he had said, what a dark -passage it was. - -"Well," he resumed finally, "I hed my hands spread to strangle him right -there.... I could 'a' done it all right--he was that peaked an' -little.... He wouldn't 'a' weighed more'n a hundred an' fifty--an' _my_ -son!... I could 'a' squushed the life out of him with my hands--an' it -was all right if I hed.... You bet it was!... Not that I cared f'r the -two hundred dollars. I could spare that all right. I'll lose that much -on a fair proposition any time.... But to take that thing back to -mother ... from where I picked it up from! - -"I reckon I was ruther more gentle with Jack goin' home than I ever was -before.... I hed to be. They was no way out of it except to be easy with -him--'r lam the life out of him an' take him home on a cot ... an' -mother needed him in runnin' order. So I got him clothes, an' had him -bathed, an' he got shaved as he used to be--he had growed a beard--an' I -rode in one car and him in another.... When mother seed him, her an' -him cried together f'r I suppose it might have been two hours 'r two and -a quarter, off an' on, an' whispered together, an' then she went to -sleep holdin' his hand, an' begun to pick up, an' Jack went back to his -own ways, an' the rest of us to ourn, an' it was wuss than ever.... An' -when he sold a team o' mine and skipped ag'in, I was glad, I tell you, -to be shet of him.... An' they could do the mile to the pole in twenty, -slick as mice. - -"Next time mother and Wallace went an' got him.... Mother found out some -way that he was dyin' in a horsepittle in Minneapolis.... He claimed -he'd been workin f'r a real estate firm; but I had the thing looked -up ... an' I couldn't find where any of our name had done nothing.... An' -it seemed as ef we'd never git shet of him.... That sounds hard; but he -was a kind of a disease by this time--a chronic, awful painful, worryin' -disease, like consumption.... An' we couldn't git cured of him, an' we -couldn't die.... It was kind o' tough. He moped around, an' mother had -some kind o' promise out of him that he wouldn't leave her no more, an' -he was pleadin' with her to let him go, an' Tom an' Wallace an' me -never sayin' a word to him, when this here Philippine War broke out ... -you know what it's about--I never did ... an' Jack wanted to enlist. - -"'I can't let him go!' says mother. - -"'Let him go,' says I. 'If he'll go, let him!' - -"Mother looks at me whiter'n I ever expect to see her again but once, -maybe; an' the next morning she an' Jack goes to the county seat an' he -enlists. I went down when the rig'ment was all got together. Mother an' -me has always had a place where we kep' all the money they was in the -house, as much hern as mine, an' she took five twenty-dollar gold pieces -out of the pile, an' sewed 'em in a chamois-skin bag all wet with her -cryin' ... an' never sayin' a word ... an' she hangs it round his neck, -an' hung to him an' kissed him till it sorter bothered the boss of the -rig'ment--some kind of colonel--because he wanted the men to march, you -know, an' didn't seem to like to make mother fall back.... She seemed to -see how it was, finely, an' fell back, an' this colonel made the motion -to her with his sword they do to their superiors, an' they marched.... -Jack stood straighter than any one in the line, an' he had a new sort of -look to him. He everidged up purty good, too, in hithe ... I don't see -much to this soldier business.... Maybe that's why he looked the part so -well.... I give the captain a hundred f'r him.... Jack sent it back from -a place called Sanfrisco, without a word. 'So much saved!' says I. He -was wuthless as ever." - -The immense voice labored, broke, stopped--the man seemed weary and -overcome. To afford him an escape from the story that seemed to have -mastered him, like the Ancient Mariner's, I called his attention to what -the four soldiers were doing. They had dressed as if for inspection, and -were evidently going out upon the platform. The noticeable thing in -their appearance was the change in their expressions from the hilarity -and riotousness of a few moments ago, to a certain solemnity. One of -them carried a little box carefully wrapped up, as a devotee might carry -an offering to a shrine. The huge farmer glanced casually at them as if -with full knowledge of what they were doing, and, ignoring my -interruption, seemed to resume his monologue--as might the habitué of a -temple pass by the question of a stranger concerning a matter related to -the mysteries--something not to be discussed, difficult to be explained, -or not worth mention. He pointed out of the window. - -"Our land," said he; "both sides ... tiptop good ground.... Didn't look -much like this when mother an' me homesteaded the first -quarter-section.... See that bunch of box-elders? Me an' her camped -there as we druv in.... Never cut 'em down.... Spoil an acre of good -corn land, too; to say nothin' o' the time wasted cultivatin' 'round -'em.... Well, a man's a fool about some things!" - -It was a picture of fulsome plenty and riotous fertility. Straight as -the stretched cord by which they had been dropped ran the soldierly rows -of corn, a mile along, their dark blades outstretched in the unwavering -prairie wind, as if pointing us on to something noteworthy or mysterious -beyond. Back and forth along the rows plodded the heavy teams of the -cultivators, stirring the brown earth to a deeper brownness. High fences -of woven wire divided the spacious fields. On a hundred-acre meadow, as -square and level as a billiard table, were piled the dark cocks of a -second crop of alfalfa. One, two, three farmsteads we passed, each with -its white house hidden in trees, its big red barns, its low hog-houses, -its feed yards, with their racks polished by the soft necks of feasting -steers. And everywhere was the corn--the golden corn of last year in -huge cribs like barracks; the emerald hosts of the new crop in its ranks -like green-suited lines-of-battle arrested in full career and held as by -some spell, leaning onward in act of marching, every quivering sword -pointing mysteriously forward. My heart of a farmer swelled within me at -the scene, which had something in it akin to its owner, it was so huge, -so opulent, so illimitable. Somehow, it seemed to interpret him to me. - -"Purty good little places," said he; "but the home place skins 'em all. -We'll be to it in a minute. Train slows up f'r a piece o' new track -work. We'll git a good view of it." - -Heaving himself up, he went before me down the aisle of the slowing -train. There stood the soldiers on the steps and the platform. We took -our places back of them. I was absorbed in the study of the splendid -farm, redeemed from the lost wilderness by this man who had all at once -become worth while to me. Back at the rear of the near-by fields was a -row of lofty cottonwoods, waving their high crests in the steady wind. -All about the central grove were pastures, meadows, gardens and -orchards. A dense coppice of red cedars enclosed on three sides a big -feed-yard, in which, stuffing themselves on corn and alfalfa, or lying -in the dusty straw, were grouped a hundred bovine aristocrats in stately -unconcern of the rotund Poland-Chinas about them. In the pastures were -colts as huge as dray-horses, shaking the earth in their clumsy play. -There were barns and barns and barns--capacious red structures, with -hay-forks rigged under their projecting gables; and, in the midst of all -this foison, stood the house--square, roomy, of red brick, with a broad -porch on two sides covered with climbing roses and vines. - -On this veranda was a thing that looked like a Morris chair holding a -figure clad in khaki. A stooped, slender, white-haired woman hovered -about the chair; and down by the track, as if to view the passing train, -stood a young woman who was tall and swarthy and of ample proportions. -Her dress was artistically adapted to country wear; she looked -well-groomed and finished. She was smiling as the train drew slowly -past, but I was sure that her eyes were full of tears. I wondered why -she looked with such intentness at the platform--until I saw what the -soldiers were doing. They stood at attention, their hands to their -service-hats, stiff, erect, military. The girl returned the salute, and -pointed to the chair on the veranda, put her handkerchief to her eyes, -and shook her head as if in apology for the man in khaki. And while she -stood thus the man in khaki leaned forward in the Morris chair, laid -hold of the column of the veranda, pulled himself to his feet, staggered -forward a step, balanced himself as if with difficulty, and--saluted. - -The soldiers on the platform swung their hats and cheered, and I joined -in the cheer. One of the good fellows wiped his eyes. The big farmer -stood partly inside the door, effectually blocking it, and quite out of -the girl's sight, looking on, as impassive as a cliff. The pretty young -woman picked up a parcel--the offering--which one of the soldiers tossed -to her feet, looked after us smiling and waving her handkerchief, and -ran back toward the house. The train picked up speed and whisked us out -of sight just as the khaki man sank back into the chair, eased down by -the woman with the white hair. I seemed to have seen a death. - -"That was mother," said the man of the broad farms, as we resumed our -seats--"mother and Jack ... jest as it always hes been.... Al'ays -mother's boy.... The soldiers comin' from the war al'ays stand on the -platform as they go by--if they's room enough--with their fingers to -their hats in that fool way.... All seem to know where Jack is someway, -no matter what rig'ment they belong to.... Humph! - -"It's something he done in the Philippines ... in the islands.... I -don't know where they are.... Off Spain way, I guess.... They's a kind -of yellow nigger there, an' Jack seemed to do well fightin' 'em.... -They're little fellers something like his size, you know.... Some high -officer ordered him to take a nigger king on an island once; an' as I -understand it, the niggers was too many f'r his gang o' soldiers. So -Jack went alone an' took him right out of his own camp.... I reckon any -one could 'a' done the same thing with Uncle Sam backin' him; but the -president, 'r congress, 'r the secretary of war thought it was quite a -trick.... I s'pose Jack's shootin' a nigger officer right under the -king's nose made it a better grand-stand play.... Anyhow, Jack went out -a private, an' come back a captain; an' every soldier that rides these -cars salutes as he passes the house, whuther Jack's in sight 'r not.... -Funny!... All kinds o' folks to make a world!" - -"Then," said I, for I knew the story, of course, when he mentioned the -circumstances, "your son Jack is Captain John Hawes?" - -He nodded slowly, without looking at me. - -"And that beautiful, strong girl?" I inquired. - -"Jack's wife," said he. "All right to look at, ain't she? Lived in New -York ... 'r Boston, I f'rgit which.... Folks well fixed.... Met Jack in -Sanfrisco and married him when he couldn't lift his hand to his head.... -She'd make a good farm woman.... Good stuff in her.... What ails him? -Some kind o' poison that was in the knife the nigger soaked him with -when he took that there king ... stabbed Jack jest before Jack shot.... -Foolish to let him git in so clost; but Jack never hed no decision.... -Al'ays whifflin' around.... If he pulls through, though, that girl'll -make a man of him if anything kin.... She thinks he's all right now ... -proud of him as Chloe of a yaller dress.... Went to Sanfrisco when he -was broke an' dyin', they thought, an' all that, an' begged him as an -honor to let her bear his name an' nuss him.... And she knew how -wuthless he was before the war, an' throwed him over.... Sensible -girl ... then ... I--" - -He was gazing at nothing again, and I thought the story ended, when he -began on an entirely new subject, as it seemed to me, until the relation -appeared. - -"Religion," said he, "is something I don't take no stock in, an' never -did.... Religious folks don't seem any better than the rest.... But -mother al'ays set a heap by religion.... I al'ays paid my dues in the -church and called it square.... May be something in it f'r some, but not -f'r me. I got to hev something I can git a-holt of.... Al'ays looked a -good deal like graft to me ... but I pay as much as any one in the -congregation, an' maybe a leetle more--it pleases mother.... An' so does -Jack's gittin' religion.... Got it, all right.... Pleases mother, -too.... Immense!... But I don't take no stock in it. - -"The doc says he's bad off." - -I had not asked the question; but he seemed to feel a necessary inquiry -in the tableau I had seen. - -"He used to come down to the track when he first got back an' perform -that fool trick with his hand to his hat when the soldiers went by an' -they let him know.... Too weak, now; ... failin'.... Girl's al'ays -there, though, when she knows.... Kind o' hope he'll--he'll--he'll ... -You know, neighbor, from what she's done f'r him, how mother must love -him!" - -We had come to the end of his journey, now--a little country -station--and he left the train without a word to me or a backward look, -his huge hat drawn down over his eyes. I felt that I had seen a curious, -dark, dramatic, badly-drawn, wildly-conceived and Dantesque painting. He -climbed into a carriage which stood by the platform, and to which was -harnessed a pair of magnificent coach-bred horses which plunged and -reared fearfully as the train swept into the station, and were held, -easily and by main strength, like dogs or sheep, by a giant in the -conveyance who must have been Tom or Wallace. From time to time, the -steeds gathered their feet together, trampled the earth in terror, and -then surged on the bits. The giant never deigned even to look at them. -He held the lines, stiff as iron straps, in one hand, took his father's -bag in the other, threw the big horses to the right by a cruel wrench of -the lines to make room for his father to climb in, which he did without -a word. As the springs went down under the weight the horses dashed away -like the wind, the young man guiding them by that iron right hand with -facile horsemanship, and looking, not at the road, but at his father. As -they passed out of sight the father of Captain Hawes turned, looked at -me, and waved his hand. I thought I had seen him for the last time, and -went back to get the story from the soldiers. - -"It wasn't so much the way he brought the datto into camp," said one of -them, "or the way he always worked his way to the last bally front peak -of the fighting line. It takes a guy with guts to do them things; but -that goes with the game--understand? But he knew more'n anybody in the -regiment about keepin' well. He made the boys take care of themselves. -When a man is layin' awake scheming to keep the men busy and healthy, -there's always a job for him.... And he had a way of making the boys -keep their promises.... And he's come home to die, and leave that girl -of his--and all the chances he's had in a business way if he wants to -leave the army. It don't seem right! The boys say the president has -invited him to lunch; and he's got sugar-plantation and minin' jobs open -to him till you can't rest.... And to be done by a cussed poison Moro -kris! But he got Mr. Moro--played even; an' that's as good as a man can -ask, I guess. Hell, how slow this train goes!" - -As I have said, I never expected to see my big farmer again; but I did. -I completed my business; returned the way I came, passed the great farm -after dusk, and the next morning was in the city where I first saw him. -Looking ahead as I passed along the street I noticed, towering above -every form, and moving in the press like a three-horse van among baby -carriages, the vast bulk of the captain's father. He turned aside into a -marble-cutter's yard, and stood, looking at the memorial monuments which -quite filled it until it looked like a cemetery vastly overplanted. I -felt disposed to renew our acquaintance, and spoke to him. He offered me -his hand, and when I accepted it he stood clinging to mine, standing a -little stooped, the eyes bloodshot, the iron mouth pitifully drooped at -the corners, the whole man reminding me of a towering cliff shaken by an -earthquake, but mighty and imposing still. He held a paper in his free -hand, which he examined closely while retaining the handclasp, and in a -way I had come to expect of him, he commenced in the midst of his -thought and without verbal salutation. - -"We've buried Jack!" said he. - -"I'm deeply sorry!" said I. - -"Well," said he, "maybe it's just as well.... He was ... you know!... -But mother takes it hard--hard!... I'm contractin' f'r a tombstun.... He -wanted to see me ... at the last.... 'Dad,' says he, jest as he used to -when he was ... was a little feller, ... 'I want you to forgive me -before I die.... It's a big country where I'm going, ... an' ... you and -I may never run into each other--so forgive me! Mother'll find -me--wherever I go ... but you, Dad, ... for fear it's our last chance, -let's square up now!' ... I ... I ..." - -He went out among the stones and seemed to be looking the stock over. -Presently, he returned and showed me the paper. It was what a printer -would call "copy" for an inscription--the name, the dates, the age of -Captain John Hawes--severe, laconic. At the bottom were two or three -lines scrawled in a heavy, ponderous hand, with the half-inch lead of a -lumber pencil. Only one fist could produce that Polyphemus chirography. - -"_He went out a private_," it read, "_and came back a captain._" And -then, as if by afterthought, and in huge capitals, came the line: "_And -died a Christian._" - -"Is that all right?" he asked. "Is the spellin' all right?... I -don't care much about this soldier business ... an' the -Christian game ... don't interest me ... a little bit, ... but, -neighbor, you don't know how that'll please mother! 'Died a -Christian!' ... Someway ... mother ... always loved Jack!" - -At the turning of the street I looked and saw the last scene of the -drama--one that will play itself before me from time to time in -retrospect for ever. The great, unhewn, mountainous block was still -there, standing among his more shapely and polished brother stones, a -human monolith, the poor, pitiful paper in his trembling hand. - - - - -CHAPTER V - - -"I find myself," said the Driver, at the next session of the -Scheherazade Society, as Colonel Baggs called their camp-fires, "in a -whale of a dilemmer. I have never had nothin' happen to me worth -tellin'. I have punched cows till this dry farmin' made it necessary to -take to some more humble callin', and there's nothin' to cow-punchin' -that is interestin'. - -"I have showed you here in the Upper Geyser Basin fifteen geysers of the -first magnitude, an' a hundred smaller ones; I have showed you Old -Faithful, the Giant, the Giantess, the Fan and the Riverside. I have -showed you the Grotto Geyser, which is a cross between a geyser and a -cave. I have showed you the quiescent spring at its best--the Morning -Glory pool with more colors than any rainbow ever had. I've showed you -jewels and giants and ogres and sprites, and--" - -"Here!" shouted the Groom. "Saw off on that professional patter! You're -not the driver now, but Aconite Driscoll, the Cow-boy, and telling us -the story of your life. We have seen more things here than Münchhausen, -Gulliver, Mandeville, Old Jim Bridger and the whole brood of romancers -ever could imagine. Give us some North American facts, now." - -"Well, if I must, I must," said poor Aconite. "But there's nothin' to -it. I reckon I'd better narrate to you some of the humble doin's of the -J-Up-And-Down Ranch over on Wolf Nose Crick, in the foot-hills of the -Black Hills--in the dear, dead past beyond recall--thanks to the -Campbell method of dry farmin'." - - -THE TALE OF TEN THOUSAND DOGIES - -THE TALE TOLD BY THE DRIVER - -The way I gets into this story is a shame an' disgrace, an' is -incompetent, irreverent, an' immaterial, an' not of record in this case. - -Eh? Adds color to the--which? Narrative! Well, I d'n' know about that. I -reely couldn't say as it does. - -But mentionin' color, the thought of that little affair do make my face -as red as a cow-town on pay-day. When I turn that tale loose we'll make -a one-night stand of it by the grub-wagon. It comprises a shipper's pass -to Sioux City, a sure-thing game in that moral town, which I win out by -backin' my judgment with my Colt, an' a police court wherein the bank -roll and my pile was rake-off for the court. Charge, gamblin'. All hands -plead guilty. All correct says you, an' quite accordin' to the statues -made an' pervided; an' so says I, ontil I casually picks up a paper in -Belle Fourche, an' sees that it was a phoney police court, not only -owned and controlled by the shell men, which wouldn't be surprisin', but -privately installed as a sort of accident insurance on their other game. - -"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Mr. Elkins remarks to me one -day, but all that is goin' to be changed when I ketch up with that -police judge. - -Ridin' the range makes a man talkative with the scenery, an' when I sees -that Sioux City paper, I turns loose some remarks in the presence of a -gentleman who subsequently turns out to be Mr. Elkins. - -"Thanks," says he. - -"When did you acquire any chips in this little solitaire blasphemy -game?" says I, mad, as a man allus is if he's ketched solloloquisin' to -himself. - -"A man," says he, "with all the sidetracks filled with cars o' cattle -an' more comin', an' no gang, is in, _ex proprio vigore_," says he, -whatever that means, "anywhere where cuss-words is trumps." - -He never smiled except back in his eyes, an' I, likin' his style, hires -out to him, an' was third man on the J-Up-And-Down Ranch from the day -the dogies begun to be unloaded, till James R. Elkins went to New York, -with a roll that would choke a blood-sweatin' hippopotamus. - -Third man, says I, an' if you think the first was the Old Man, J. R. E., -you know, you've got another conjecture comin'. Number One was Mrs. -Elkins, an' I reckon some of her New York friends'll enter into -conniptions to know that, in lessn' a year, half the boys called her -Josie--in their dreams, at least--an' some on 'em to her face; but none -to her back, by a damsite! The Old Man--a lot of us called him Jim -habitual--was a one-lunger when this dogie enterprise started, all -mashed in body in the collapse of the boom at Lattimore; an' them as -thinks I refer to any loggin' accident is informed that I mean the -town-lot boom in the city of Lattimore, as is more fully set forth -elsewhere, the same bein' made by reference a part hereof, marked -"Exhibit A," which explains the broken bones aforesaid-- - -"If there's no objection," said Colonel Baggs, in a high court-room -singsong, "'Exhibit A' will be received in evidence. G'long, Aconite!" - -Financially, he was millions worse than nothing, if you can understand -that. Personally, I caint. Zero is the bottom of the spondulix scale fer -me, although the thummometer seems to prove it ain't necessarily thus. -Anyhow, the Old Man had Josie, an' any man from Sturgis to Dog Den -Buttes would have shouldered all Mr. Elkins' shrinkages, especially the -below-zero part, to've had her jest once smooth the hair off his beaded -brow, let alone take charge of him like a Her'ford heifer does her fust -calf. Which is sure the manner Josie took a-holt and managed the Old -Man. But this hain't no love story. Quite the reverse. It's the "Tale of -Ten Thousand Dogies." - -I found out that when Mr. E. went into the bulb in a business way, this -Wolf Nose Crick Ranch went around bankruptcy, instid of through it, -becuz, mostly, nobody thought it wuth a--a thought. An' to them as -think strange of ten thousand steers, even dogies, bein' bought by a -busted boomer, I'll state that any man with the same range, an' not -absolutely a convicted hoss-thief, could've got 'em by givin' the same -cutthroat chattel mawgitch. Old Aleck Macdonald did sure sell 'em to Mr. -Elkins reasonable, though, because James R. had made him a good deal of -money in this boom, an' they was only dogies anyhow. - -Now, this bein' my evenin' fer tellin' the truth, I'll state that ten -thousand dogies is sure a complicated problem on the range. The -distinction between them an' reg'lar native range cows lays in the lap -o' luxury in which the dogies is dangled in the farmin' regions where -they originate. The first little blizzard, they'll hump up an' blat fer -home an' mother. They'll gaze fondly at a butte ten mile off, expectin' -doors in it to slide open, an' racks full of clover an' timothy to pull -out an' be forked out to 'em. They look grieved an' wring their jaws -becuz water with the chill took off ain't piped to their stalls, an' -they moan 'cause they ain't no stalls. I'd as soon run a Women's an' -Babies' Home. You cain't get it into their heads where the water-holes -is, an' it's allus an even break whuther they'll stan' an' freeze in -their tracks, or chase after some bunch of 2:10 natives ontil their -hooves drop off. That's why Macdonald talked as he did about 'em, as I'm -informed. - -"Take 'em," says he, "an' don't flatter yourself I'm donatin' anything. -They's no feed fer 'em in their native Iowa at any livin' price, an' on -the other hand, fifty per cent. of 'em'll die gettin' over their -homesickness on the range. You'll have it in fer me fer stickin' you, -when you know more about the cattle business. Fer the Lord's sake take -'em before they eat me out of every dollar I've got left!" - -Some of this was straight goods, an' some stall; but that first winter -was a special providence if they ever was one. So mild and barmy from -September to March that the prairie-dogs forgot to hole up, an' Mrs. -Elkins served Thanksgivin' dinner in the open air on the pizziazzy at -the Ranch. An' she rode the range with Jim consecutively, an' said she'd -found her 'finity in this cattle biz. As for him, the main thing the -matter was that failure o' his a-millin' through his mental facilities. -But this was their honeymoon, we found, an' that, an' no losses on the -range, helped his case, an' by spring he begun to shoot the persiflage -into the gang, an' set up an' reach for things to beat fours. As for -the dogies, none of 'em had the faintest show fer a beller. The grass -was like new-mown hay; every little snow was follered by a chinook; the -water-holes was brimmin'; an' all went merry as a marriage bell. - -"The fact is, Aconite," says Mr. Elkins, addressin' me, "I knew when I -heard that burst of phonetic lava from your lips at Belle Fourche, that -there'd be no fear of low temperatures if you could be induced to stay -by the cows, and blow off once in a while." - -He had the hot air under wonderful control, hisself, an' felt good at -the way the stock was comin' on--March, April, May, an' fresh feed, -ponds full o' ducks, cute little young wolves about the dens, an' every -one o' the ten thousand dogies stretchin' to see hisself grow. But the -fall--the fall was sure a bad one fer both feed an' water. The dogies, -however, couldn't fairly be called such any longer, havin' recovered -from what Jim called their acute nostalgia, an' bein' pret' near's good -rustlers as natives. An' well it was fer 'em, fer grass was sca'ce, an' -a son-of-a-gun of a while between drinks. After you got away from the -crick--an' you jist _had_ to git away f'r grass--it was a good day's -ride to water, east, west, north, south, up'r down. On the hay-slews we -had to prime the rake with old hay 'fore we could make a windrow. Laff -if you want to, but they was whole outfits with less hay than some folks -has gover'ment bonds. We had about enough to wad a shotgun, an' was -merchant princes in the fodder line. The steers, lookin' like -semi-animated hat-racks, as the Old Man said, come through the cold -weather in a shrinkin' an' sylph-like way, so thin that you could throw -a bull by the tail a dum sight furder'n I'd trust some folks, an' that's -no dream! - -By this time Mr. Elkins was a sure-enough cow-man, president of the -Association and the biggest man from Spearfish to Jackson's Hole. He -knew some confounded joke on every man in the cow-country, an' not only -called 'em all by their fust name, but had one of his own f'r most of -'em. Mrs. Elkins, havin' pulled him through his own dogy stage, dropped -out of the cow business, an' devoted herself to kids. I knew that this -dogy proposition was a sort of a straw that Jim Elkins grabbed at as he -went under, an' it done me an' all the fellers good to see the -percentage of loss so small, even if the brutes wasn't puttin' on weight -as they orto, an' the price was away down, an' we knew we shouldn't be -ready to sell when the mawgitch got ripe. Old Macdonald was Jim's -friend, though, an' would sure extend the note when it come of age; an' -fur's we could see, these dry seasons was only delayin' the clean-up. - -So I thought, an' so thought the Elkins family, as peaceful as a Injun -summer morn, an' as happy as skunks. But along in June of the third -year, just in the last of the round-up, out comes what Elkins called our -Nemmysis in the form of a jackleg lawyer with news of Macdonald's death, -and papers to prove it, an' him appointed executioner of the estate of -A. Macdonald, diseased. He wanted to see the cattle the estate had a -mawgitch on. I was app'inted as his chaperon to show him the stock, an' -it bein' a hurryin' time o' year, I exhibited to him ten 'r 'leven -thousand head of mixed pickles, and called it square. He didn't know a -cow-brand from one plucked from the burnin', an' credited us with a -township or two of O-Bar-X cow stuff I run him into the first day out. I -didn't feel that he was wuth payin' much notice to, if he hadn't had the -say about the Old Man's mawgitch. - -I gathered from him that he was goin' to rearlize on the outfit in the -fall. I went so fur as to p'int out what a grave-robbin' scheme this -was, an' how this dogy stuff had been kep' in the livin' skelliton -department f'r two years by drouth an' a hell-slew of other troubles, -an' couldn't possibly do more than pay off the mawgitch, an' leave us -holdin' the bag in the wust country f'r snipe outside of the Mojave -desert. - -"They'll pay out," says he, "an' that's all I'm required to look out -fer." - -I swear, I was prospectin' f'r a good hole to plant him in all the rest -o' the trip. I goes right to the ranch when we pulled in. The Old Man -an' Josie was a-sittin' in the firelight, an' she had the baby, a -yearlin' on her lap, and the boy, a long two-year-old, in the crib. -Outside of a nest o' young wild ducks, I never seen anything softer and -cuter. I reports an' asks instructions as to the best way of disposin' -of Mr. Jackleg's remains. - -"Quicklime," says he ruminatin'ly, "is a good and well-recognized -scheme; but we haven't any, Aconite, have we? Or we might incorporate -him into that burnin' lignite bed over in the butte. Boxin' him up an' -shippin' him to fictitious consignees involves a trip to the railroad, -an' creatin', as it does, a bad odor, an' stickin' a strugglin' railroad -company for the freight, it never seemed to me quite the Christian -thing. Don't you agree with me, Aconite?" - -"Now, the God's truth is, I was speakin' parabolically about this -projected homicide, but no man can bluff _me_, an' when the Old Man -seemed to fall in with it in that heart-to-heart way, I made a lightnin' -cat-hop, an' told him as sober as a Keeley alumnus that the lignite bed -seemed most judicious to me, an' when should we load up the catafalque? -Then Mrs. E. breaks in with a sort o' gugglin' laugh. - -"Jim," says she, "you ought to be ashamed of yourself! Mr. Driscoll," -addressin' me by my name, which never was Aconite, reely, "Mr. Driscoll, -Mr. Elkins is not serious in his remarks." - -"Neither'm I," says I. - -"Of course not," says she. "We fully understand that." - -"Sure," says the Old Man. "Let the lawyer take its course. Which will be -assumin' possession of the ten thousand dogies; and I feel sure he'll -want to leave you in charge of 'em. He's stuck on you, Aconite." - -"See him in Helena fust," says I. - -"But wait a minute," says Mr. Elkins. "Somebody's got to take charge of -this stuff for the mortgagee, if he keeps on thinkin' as he does now. -You're our friend. It'll be more agreeable in every way to have you -than, say, Bill Skeels, of the O-Bar-X." - -Of course I gets roped, throwed an' branded at last, an' Mr. Jackleg -goes away takin' my receipt f'r ten thousand head, more or less, of -steers branded "J" known in the cattle business as "J-Up-And-Down," the -same bein' on the ranges at the head-waters of the Cheyenne, Moreau, -Little Missouri, an' other streams, an' God knows where else, more -definitely described in a certain indenture of mawgitch, and so forth -and so on, till death comes to your relief. An' James R. Elkins was -reduced to a few hundred white faces he'd put in as a side-line, an' I -feelin' like a sheepman unmasked! - -Mr. Jackleg--his real name turned out to be Witherspoon--give me his -instructions from the buckboard as he prepares to pull out, in the -presence of the Old Man an' Mrs. E. - -"I was fetched up on a farm," says he, an' he looked the part, "an' I -know a good deal about cattle. Every animal should hev water at least -twice a day." - -"I'll personally see to it," says I, winkin' at the Old Man, "that -every steer has a crack at the growler at least semi-daily." - -"Another thing," says he; "I knew a herd-boy that run a bunch of fifty -cows practically dry by holdin' 'em in too close a bunch on the prairie. -Let 'em spread out so's to give 'em room to graze." - -"Well, fer Gawd's sake!" says I, thinkin' of the feller's sanity; an' -before I could finish my yawp, off he pelts, leavin' me gaspin'. - -"Wake up," says Elkins, shakin' me by the shoulder. "If you git 'em all -watered by bed-time, you'll have to git busy." - -He sure is a good loser, thinks I, ontil I figgered that with Josie an' -the kids counted in, he hadn't been pried loose from any great -percentage of his holdin's after all. - -Now, the idee was to round up an' ship about the first of December, so -the estate could be wound up at the January term o' court. Pretty soon -things seemed about as they was before. I went to the Old Man for -orders, an' Mr. Jackleg's visit seemed, as Mrs. E. once said, like a -badly-drawn dream. Every time I went to J. R. E. he says to me that I'm -boss, an' to remember my instructions. - -"Obey orders," says he, "if it busts owners." - -Grass an' water was plenty ag'in, and the dogies was fattin' up. -Round-up was drawin' on just as prospects f'r profit begins to brighten. -It seemed a sort of a hash of midnight assassination, poisonin' -water-holes, givin' away a podner, an' keepin' sheep, to ship them ten -thousand then. An' all the time the Old Man was a-bearin' down about -obeyin' orders, and beggin' me to remember Mr. Jackleg's partin' words, -an' repeatin' that sayin' about obeyin' orders if it busted owners. The -thing kep' millin' an' millin' in my brain till I got into the habit of -settin' around an' sweatin' heinyous, ontil I'd come to with a start, in -the middle of a pool of self-evolved moisture filled with wavin' rushes, -an' embosomin' acres of floatin' water-lilies! That's the sort of -sweater I am when a little worried. Fin'ly I turned on the Old Man like -a worm--a reg'lar spiral still-worm. - -"How in everlastin' fire," says I, not just like that, "am I to see that -every dogy gits two swigs a day on these prairies, an' wherein am I to -take any notice of that shyster's fool talk about rangin' wide?" - -"Well," says he, "you know there's pools an' water-holes scattered from -here to the Canada line, an' from the Missouri to the Continental -Divide. A few head, dropped here an' there, handy to water, would be -apt to live more accordin' to the hydropathic ideas of the executor of -the will of A. Macdonald, diseased. At the same time you would be -conformin' to his remarkable correct hyjeenic notions as to -segregation." - -"Hyjeenic y'r grandmother!" says I, f'r the sitiwation called f'r strong -language. "They couldn't be rounded up in a year; an' it's damn -nonsense, anyhow, to foller the so-called idees of a--" - -"Oh, I see," says he, in a sort of significant way. "I see: it would be -a slow round-up. Maybe my intrusts blinds me to those of the people you -represent. A slow round-up wouldn't hurt me any! But, of course, you -stan' f'r the mawgitchee's intrusts, an' are nat'rally hostyle--" - -I set sort o' numbed f'r a minute. A new thing was a-happenin' to me, to -wit, an idee was workin' itself into my self-sealin', air-tight, -shot-proof, Harveyized skull. Talk about your floods o' light! I got -what Doc calls a Noachian deluge of it right then. - -"Sir," says I, "'an' Madam, truly'"--quotin' from a pome Mrs. E. had -been readin'--"I _think_ I see my duty clear at last! If I fin'ly _hev_ -grasped it, my labors requires my absence," says I, "an' I'll see you -later." - -Mr. Elkins laughed a sort of a Van Triloquist's chuckle. Josie Elkins -comes up, an' stannin' close to me in that maddenin' way o' hern, sort -o's if she's climbin' into your vest pocket, she squose my hand, an' -says she, "Mr. Driscoll, we know that you'll be true to any trust -reposed in you! An' to your friends!" An' at the word "friends" she sort -of made sunbeams from her eyes to mine, an' pressed my hand before -breakin' away, as much as to say that, speakin' o' friends, the ones -that had reely drunk from the same canteen an' robbed watermelon patches -together from earliest infancy was her an' me. Holy Mackinaw! I went out -into the wilderness givin' thanks an' singin' an' cussin' myself, at -peace with all the world. - -I flatter myself that the work done upon, or emanatin' from the -J-Up-And-Down Ranch from that time, f'r a spell, stands in a class by -itself in cow-country annuals. It begins with a sort o' quarterly -conference of the punchers. I gives 'em a sermon something as follers: - -"Fellers," says I, "it's been borne in upon me that these dogies need -drivin' where they's fewer cows to the cubic inch o' water. Moreover, -they're in too much of a huddle. Here's the hull ten thousand cooped up -within twenty to thirty mile of the spot whereon we stand. You cain't -swing a bob-cat by the tail," says I, "without scratchin' their eyes -out. It vi'lates the crowded tenement laws. It corrupts the poor little -innercent calves. It's a Mulberry Street shame. You are therefore -ordered an' directed to disseminate these beeves over a wider expanse of -the moral heritage. You, Doc, take Ole an' the Greaser, an' goin' south -an' west with as many as you can round up, drop off a carload 'r so at -every waterin' place an' summer resort up the Belle Fourche an' the -North Fork, over onto the Powder, an' as fur as Sheridan. When yeh git -short o' cows, come back f'r more. There ain't no real limits to yer -efforts short o' the Yellowstone. We must obey Mr. Jackleg's orders -about huddlin'. I'll give Absalom an' Pike the Little Missouri, the -Cannon Ball and the Grand valleys. Git what help you need; I grant power -to each of yeh to send f'r persons an' papers an' administer oaths, if -necessary. I'll take my crew an' try to gladden the waste places along -the Moreau an' Cheyenne an' White Rivers with dogies. Get your gangs, -an' scatter seeds o' kindness an' long four-year-olds from hell to -breakfast. For as yeh sow even shall yeh reap. If a critter smothers -from crowdin' sev'ral to a township these hot nights, somebody's goin' -to be held personally responsible to me. You hear, I s'pose?" - -"Is this straight goods, Aconite?" says Doc. - -"Am I a perfessional humorist," says I, "or am I the combined Fresh Air -Fund, S. P. C. A., and Jacob A. Riis of these yere hills? Am I the main -squeeze of this outfit, an' the head of a responsible gover'ment, or am -I not? Hit the grit," says I, "an' begin irradiatin' steers." - -Obedience is a lovely thing, fellers, an' a man poised in an air-ship a -few thousan' feet above a given pi'nt som'eres in the neighborhood o' -the Hay Stack Buttes, armed with a good long-range peekeriscope, might -have observed a beautiful outbust of it, all that golding autumn, on the -part of a class of men presumably onsubordinate--the ungrammatical but -warm-hearted cow-boys. They preached a mixed assortment o' -fair-to-middlin' steers unto all men. The Ten Thousand was absorbed into -the landscape of four great states, like a ship-load o' Swedes into the -Republican party. The brethren of the ranches heared gladly the gospel -of obeyin' orders, an' wherever a wisp of cows amountin' to more than a -double handful congregated together in one place, there was some -obejient son of a gun in the midst of 'em, movin' 'em along towards the -bubblin' springs, green fields an' pastors new of Mr. Jackleg's orders. -It was touchin'. I never felt so good, so sort o' glory-hallelujahish in -my life, as I did a-ridin' back to Wolf Nose Crick in the brown October -weather, with the dogies off my mind an' the map, thinkin' of how Mrs. -E. had squoze my hand, sort o' weepful on moonlight nights, but -stronger'n onions in a sense o' juty well performed. - -You can sort o' dimly ketch onto the shock it was to me, a-drillin' into -camp at Wolf Nose Crick in this yere peaceful frame of mind, to find Mr. -Jackleg there, madder'n a massasauga, an' perfec'ly shameful in his -feelin's towards _me_. - -"Where's these ten thousand head o'cattle, Driscoll?" he hollers on -seein' me. "Here's your receipt for 'em; where's the stock?" - -"Calm yourself," says I, droppin' my hand to my gun; "the dogies is all -right. The dogies is out yan in the most unhuddled state of any outfit -on the range, fur from the slums of Wolf Nose Crick an' their corruptin' -influences, drinkin' at the pure springs o' four great American -commonwealths, layin' on fat like aldermen, an' in a advanced state of -segregation. Your orders," says I, tickled to think how I'd remembered -langwidge so fur above my station in life, "your orders was to put 'em -next to the damp spots, an' keep 'em fur apart, an' has been obeyed -regardless." - -Up to that time I had looked upon him with contempt; but the way he -turned in an' damned me showed how sorely I'd misjudged him. As my -respect fer him riz, it grew important not to let him go on so, f'r I -couldn't let any reel man talk to me that-a-way, an' in less time than -it takes to mention it, I had the boys a-holdin' me, and Mr. Jackleg -stannin' without hitchin'. - -"I may hev been hasty in my remarks," says he; "but I've been out with -all the men I could git f'r two weeks, an' how many of our herd do you -s'pose I have been enabled to collect?" - -"Not knowin', cain't say," says I. - -"Just a hundred an' fifty-seven!" says he. - -"Good!" says I. "You've got no kick comin'. I couldn't have done better -myself. But you won't git as many in the next two weeks! Cheer up; the -wust is yet to come!" - -An' at that he flies off the handle ag'in, an' lights out f'r the East, -with the estate all unwound, I s'pose. - -Now, everybody knows the rest of this story. Everybody knows how grass -an' water an' winters favored the range-stuff f'r the next two years. -Them dogies was as well off 's if they'd been in upholstered sheds -eatin' gilded hay. When ol' Dakoty starts out to kill stock, she reg'lar -Mountain-Medders-Massacres 'em; but when she turns in to make a -feed-yard of herself, she's a cow paradise without snakes. The hist'ry -of these dogies illustrates this p'int, an' shows our beautiful system -of enforcin' honesty in marketin' range cattle whereby the active -robbery is confined to the stockyards folks and the packers, where it -won't do no moral harm. As was perfec'ly square an' right, the brand -inspectors at Omaha, Sioux City, Chicago an' Kansas City was on the -lookout f'r J-Up-And-Down steers in the intrusts of Mr. Jackleg's -mawgitch; an' after every round-up, some on 'em would dribble in with -the shipments, an' be sold an' proceeds gobbled accordin' to Hoyle. An' -when things got good--dogies about the size of Norman hosses, an' as fat -as Suffolk pigs--the word goes out from Wolf Nose Crick to every ranch -on the range, that the anti-slum crusade was off, an' J-Up-And-Down -stuff was to be shipped as rounded up. F'r weeks an' months, I'm told, -pret' near every car had some of 'em. Top grassers, they was at last, in -weight an' price, an' when the half of 'em was in, the estate of A. -Macdonald, diseased, was wound up, tight as a drum, intrust an' -principal, an' Jim Elkins had left a little trifle o' five thousand -beeves, wuth around a hundred apiece, free an' clear, an' the record of -Aconite Driscoll, as a philanthropist, a humannytarian, an' a -practical-cow-puncher, was once more as clear as a Christian's eye. - -An' this is how Jim Elkins got his ante in this New York game he's -a-buckin' so successful. An' so it was that my little meet-up with a -Sioux City shell-man, which I'm lookin' fer yit, results in a reg'lar -Pullman sleeper trip to Chicago, where I'm the guest of honor at a -feedin' contest instituted by Mr. James R. Elkins, whereat Mr. -Jackleg--Witherspoon, I mean, and dead game after all, if any one should -inquire--makes a talk about the pleasure it affords all of us to see our -old friend Elkins restored to those financial circulars where he was so -well known, an' so much at home; an' alludin' to me as restorer-in-chief -by virtoo of my great feet, an' losin' ten thousand dogies so that -Pinkerton himself couldn't find 'em ontil the wilderness saw fit to -disgorge 'em in its own wild an' woolly way. An' fin'ly I'm called on -an' made to git up, locoed at the strange grazin' ground, but game to do -my best, an' after millin' awhile, "I'm here," says I, "owin' to my -eckstrordinary talent f'r obeyin' orders. I'm told to come hither, an' I -at once set out to prove my effectiveness as a come-hitherer. As f'r -losin' ten thousand dogies, I cain't see what that has to do with my -great feet. An' right here," I says, "I wish to state that I onst lost -something else, to wit, my val'able temper at something done 'r said by -a gentleman now present, for all of which I begs pardon of Mr. -Jackleg--Mr. Witherspoon, I means," says I, an' everybody hollers an' -pounds, him most of all, but redder'n a turkey, "an' I wish to state -that it does me good to feel that harmony and peace between him an' me -is restored. Here in Chicago," says I, "him an' me can git together on -the platform of feedin' in bunches, without dehornin'; with the -paramount issue to go before the people on, however, that old plank o' -his'n declarin' f'r frekent drinks!" - -After that, I don't remember what eventuated--not quite so clear. - - * * * * * - -"I told you," said the Bride, as the party broke up for the night, "that -we'd get some local color." - -"Alas!" replied the Artist. "This is like the local color of Babylon and -the Shepherd Kings--a tradition and a whisper borne on the night breeze, -of things that were. O, Remington! Remington!" - - - - -CHAPTER VI - - -Professor Boggs was in a brown study from the time his name emerged from -the hat on starting from the Upper Geyser Basin, until the equipage of -the Seven Wonderers, as the Poet called the party, reached the Thumb -Lunch Station on Yellowstone Lake, nineteen miles to the east--which -drive they made between breakfast and luncheon. The Colonel had -telephoned ahead for a special banquet for the eight that night, at -which Professor Boggs was to tell his story, and civilized life was to -be resumed for the nonce--"To prevent," as the Colonel explained, "our -running wild so that we'll have to be blindfolded and backed onto the -cars when we get back to Gardiner." All up the pleasant Firehole Valley, -the Professor worked at a packet of papers which he took from his bag. - -"I'll bet he gives us an essay on some phase of rural education," -challenged the Artist, with no takers. - -Past the exquisite Kepler Cascade they went, after a stop which filled -all except the Hired Man and the Professor with delight. When the party -alighted for the walk of half a mile to the Lone Star Geyser, these two -remained with the surrey--the Professor busy, the Hired Man lazily -smoking. His mental film-pack was exhausted. Spring Creek Cañon proved -another of those comforting features which relieve the strain of -constant astonishment in the Park--the narrow and winding cañon, with -its homelike rocks and cliffs, topped by inky evergreens, shut them in -like some comforting shelter against the tempest of the marvelous. Down -this wild glen tumbled a clear stream of cold water, bordered with -ferns, willows and alders. The Bride scooped up a little of the water in -her hand and drank it. - -"Isn't it funny?" she asked. - -"Isn't what funny?" asked the Groom. - -"To find water actually cool and clear, and flowing down a glen of just -rocks, with no steam, or rainbow colors, or anything but good earth and -stones? I feel like one just out of some sort of inferno." - -"The first feller to roam these here hollers," said Aconite, "was a guy -named John Colter. He came out with the Lewis and Clark expedition, and -stopped on the way back to trap. That was about 1807. He got into the -Park some way, and when he emerged he told of it. And there was where -the fust reppytation for truth an' veracity was blighted by the -p'isenous exhalations of this region of wonders." - -"Was he Jimbridgered?" asked the Artist. - -"Was he whiched?" - -"Jimbridgered; Marcopoloed; Münchhausened; Mandevilled; Driscolled; -placed in the Ananias Club?" - -"He shore was," replied Aconite. "W'y this place was called Colter's -Hell from Saint Joe to Salt Lake by them as didn't believe in it. -'Whar'd this eventuate?' a puncher'd say to a feller that had seen -something. 'In Colter's Hell' another would say, meanin' that it never -did occur--an' if he didn't smile when he said it, there'd be gun play. -An' hyar was all them marvels that Colter'd seen, and more, all the -time!" - -At Craig Pass, the cayuses were stopped so that all might feast their -eyes on the little Isa Lake, frowned on by stern precipices, but smiling -up into the blue, its surface flecked with water-lilies. - -"An' hyar," said Aconite, "we hev a body of water that at one end -empties into the Atlantic Ocean's tributaries, an' at the other waters -the Pacific slope." - -"Which is which?" asked the Colonel. - -"The east end runs into the Pacific, and the west into the Atlantic," -replied Aconite, quite truthfully. - -"What's that!" exclaimed the Hired Man. "Do yeh mean to say we've got -over on the coast by drivin' east--toward Ioway?" - -"You've said 'er," said Aconite. - -"I tell you," said the Hired Man, as the others began studying their -maps to clear up this geographic anomaly, "I tell you that there ain't -no way of understandin' the 'tother-end-toness of this place, except by -sayin' that the hull thing is a gigantic streak of nature." - -"The most rational explanation," said the Groom, "that I've heard. Mr. -Hired Man sets us all right. Drive on, Aconite!" - -Down Corkscrew Hill they volplaned, thrilled and somewhat scared by the -speed of the cayuses, which flew downward in joyful relief at the -cessation of the uphill pull to the pass. At the bottom there was a -halt to afford a glimpse of Shoshone Lake, and far off to the south the -exquisite Tetons, their summits capped with pearl. The visit to Shoshone -Lake with its gorgeous geysers was to be postponed until after they -should arrive at the thumb of Yellowstone Lake, and make camp. - -An hour of steady driving succeeded. They drowsed in their seats, torpid -from the early start and the days of strenuous sight-seeing. The road -ran through a quiet forest, and there was something not unpleasant in -the fact that the curtain of trees shut off the view--until suddenly at -a turn in the highway, there burst upon their sight that most marvelous -of inland seas, Yellowstone Lake. Straight away extended its waters, for -twenty miles, to the dim shores of Elk Point, where the pines carried -the wonderful landscape upward, their gloom cutting straight across the -view, between the mirror-like sheen of the lake, to timber-line on the -azure Absarokas, standing serenely across the eastern sky, their -serrated summits picked out with snow against the blue. - -A huge chalice lay the lake, reared to a height of a mile and a half -above the dusty and furrowed earth where folk plow and dig and make -their livings, the crown jewel of the continent's diadem, unutterably, -indescribably lovely, filled with crystalline dew. The tourists caught -their breaths. Aconite said nothing. For a long time they stood, until -the horses began to move backward and forward, uneasy at the unwonted -stay. The Bride was holding the Groom's hand, her eyes glistening with -tears. - -They passed the lovely little Duck Lake, unmindful of its prettiness, -and drew up at the lunch station, where they remained unconscious of -their hunger until the memory of the splendors of the lake were first -dulled, and then obliterated by the scent of the bacon which Aconite was -frying. The Hired Man ate valiantly, lighted his pipe, and sighed. - -"That was all right," said he. - -"Thanks," said Aconite. "It cost forty cents a pound, an' orto be good." - -"I meant," said the Hired Man, "that view o' the lake from back yonder." - - * * * * * - -Night brought dinner, and that appetite for it which outdoors gives to -healthy folk, at eight thousand feet above the sea. After the eating was -well and thoroughly done, the Professor responded to the call for his -story. He rose solemnly, bowed to the assemblage, arranged his papers, -cleared his throat, and began. - - -A BELATED REBEL INVASION - -THE PROFESSOR'S STORY - -Unlike the rest of you, I am no mere seeker after pleasure. I am an -outcast from my native Iowa. I have held high and honorable office, and -I have been treated as was Coriolanus of old. I am the victim of the -ingratitude of republics, as expressed in a direct primary in Stevens -County, Iowa. I am on my way to the great new West, where I shall seek -to serve newer communities where perfidy may not be so ingrained in the -nature of the body politic. And I shall shun relations other than -professional ones, with persons of youth, beauty, charm, and feminine -gender. For by these I am a sufferer. I have with me my notes, and to -you is given the first hearing of my side of a case which may become -historic. - -"The contest is unequal," says Epictetus, "between a charming young girl -and a beginner in philosophy." Let this be remembered when I am blamed -for the havoc wrought upon my political educational career in Stevens -County, Iowa, by Miss Roberta Lee Frayn of Tennessee. Not that I am a -beginner in philosophy. The man who, at my age, has been elected county -superintendent of schools is no mere tyro in the field wherein Epictetus -so distinguished himself. But neither does the word "charming" -adequately describe Miss Frayn, unless one trace back the word "charm" -to its more diabolically significant root. I expect to write this, my -_apologia_, and leave the verdict to posterity. - -No citizen of Stevens County is likely to be ignorant of the manner in -which Miss Frayn was deposited in my mother's farmyard by the wrecking -of a railway train, or how her grandfather, Colonel Kenton Yell Frayn, -died there in her arms and left the young girl penniless. Judge -Worthington, hereafter to be mentioned, was on the train and doubtless -assisted in extricating Miss Frayn and her grandfather from the -wreckage, but I feel that my own efforts were more effective than was -reported. We left the young woman in the care of my mother, and I took -the judge with me in my buggy. - -He was much distraught as we rode along. I tried to say something in the -way of furthering my candidacy for the office I now hold; but he -repulsed me. - -"For God's sake, Oscar," I remember him to have said, "don't try to -electioneer me until I can get out of my mind the image of that poor -young girl and her dying grandfather!" - -I do not care to criticize the judiciary, but will say that Judge -Worthington's early promotion to the bench and his undeniable comeliness -of person have in a measure induced in him a certain arrogance. - -I was triumphantly elected. I went to Boston and won recognition so far -as to be placed on the sub-committee for the investigation of -Tone-Deafness in the rural schools, in the superintendents' section of -the National Teachers' Association. - -"Gee!" ejaculated the Hired Man. - -Feeling the growing breadth and fullness of life I returned and assumed -my office. Then it was that the Frayn episode may be said to have begun, -in a letter from my brother Chester, which I have here, and which runs, -using an undignified diminutive: - - "DEAR OC: - - "We would like to see you. Mother and all are well, and glad you - pulled through, even if you did run behind the ticket so. Am - feeding three loads of steers, and they are making a fine gain. - Middlekauff's look rough, and all the feeders think he'll lose - money on them. He paid four cents for them. This is about all the - news. Can't you appoint me your deputy down here to examine Miss - Frayn, whose grandfather got killed in that wreck? She wants to - teach. She is a Southerner, but an awful nice lady, and just as - smart as one of us. She dreads to go to Pacific City to be - examined, as she won't let ma get her hardly any clothes. She is - very sensitive about money matters, and I had to lie to her about - the funds to bury her grandfather with, and tried to slip in $250 - more, but she caught me at it and cried. I will be strict and make - her write out the examination properly; so send along the - questions, and the appointment. - - "Yours truly, CHET. - - "P. S.--Judge Worthington's office is so near yours, you might - leave the appointment and the questions in there. The judge will - bring them down. He comes down quite often now, because he says - that the Boggses and the Worthingtons moved into Iowa in the same - wagon train in an early day, and he thinks it strange that that - accident that killed Colonel Frayn should have brought the families - together again. He thinks that Miss Frayn will make a first-rate - teacher, so you need not be backward about the appointment and the - questions." - -Not abating one jot or tittle of my official strictness, I informed -Chester that Miss Frayn must appear and be examined as did others in the -same situation. Chester is an Ames man, and a fine judger and feeder of -cattle, but not fitted for responsibility in _belles-lettres_. - -Professor Dustin, an elderly and myopic educator and the author of a -monograph on the Grübe method, had charge of the examination when Miss -Frayn appeared. I found Chester smoking a vile pipe in my lodgings when -I came home. - -"Say, Oc," said he, "this four-eyed old trilobite won't do. You've got -to get in here and do business yourself." - -Conjecturing that he meant Professor Dustin, I inferred that Miss -Frayn's papers had been rejected. A glance justified the professor. She -had given Richmond as the capital of the United States. A question in -physiology called for a description of the iris, and Miss Frayn had -answered that, further than that, "she" was a naiad, a dryad, or a -nymph, and was pursued by Boreas, or Eolus, or Zephyrus until, turned -into a flower, she could say nothing about Iris. The handwriting and -drawing were beautiful; but the pages of mathematics were mostly blank, -save for certain splashy discolorations presumably of lachrymatory -origin, denoting lack of self-control and scholastic weakness. - -"It is absurd," said I, "to think of certifying her. While she has a -certain measure of intelligence--" - -"A certain measure!" shouted Chester. "If you weren't a natural-born -saphead, I'd--! Come up to Aunt Judith's!" - -I went with him, firm in that solid self-control which gives fixity of -character to my nature. I saw in its true light the amiable weakness of -my relatives which made them slaves to this girl. I felt as stern and -austere as a public officer should, and looked it, I believe, for mother -was quite in a flutter as she asked me to read a clipping from an -eastern Tennessee paper describing the departure from that region of the -Frayns. - -From this I learned that Miss Frayn and the colonel had been the last of -the Frayns, the family having been exterminated in the Frayn-Harrod -feud. The colonel had been an engineer in Lee's army. He had given -public notice on leaving that at noon he would nail to the front door of -the court-house, with the revolver of Boone Harrod, the last enemy shot -by the colonel, his version of the origin of the feud. He had carried -out this parting piece of bravado with no disturbance except an exchange -of shots as the train moved away from the station. I was horrified. Was -a person in this barbarous state of culture asking me, Oscar Boggs, -member of the National Sub-Committee on Tone-Deafness--! - -"Okky," said my mother, from behind, "this is Miss Frayn!" - -I looked at her, and was suddenly impressed with the non-existence of -the material universe, except as centered in and consisting of eyes of a -ruddy brown like those of fine horses, rufous hair surrounding the small -head like a nimbus, and a fused mass of impressions made up of the -abstract concepts of trimness, fire, elegance, and unconquerability. I -have reported the matter to the society for psychical research, but have -received no answer as yet. It was clearly abnormal. - -She placed her arm about my mother's waist and looked most respectfully -at me. - -"You ah the great man," said she, "of the family Ah have so much cause -to love." Here she stopped as if to regain self-control. "Ah wish mah -po' papahs," she went on, "had--" - -"There, there!" said my mother, patting her arm. "It'll be all right -anyway, dear!" - -I was considering what to say. Her skin was clear, white, daintily -transparent, and of a delicacy our western girls seldom display (owing, -I surmise, to climatic influences); she stood there on Aunt Judith's -Persian rug, her petite figure with its rounded curves, half-levitated, -like Atalanta upon the oat-heads--and there returned upon me the mental -vertigo, the lack of cerebral coördination, and the obliteration of the -material universe. - -"Am Ah so igno'ant, really?" said she. "Ah'm fond of children; and Ah -_must_ find wohk!" - -Why did I hate Dustin? Why could I not command my speech? I always rally -at the crises, however, and did so in this instance. - -"As for ignorance," said I, "Sir John Lubbock says: 'Studies are a -means, not an end.' And Lord Bacon hath it: 'To spend too much time in -studies is sloth.' I see that you have acted on these maxims. Professor -Dustin's astigmatism and myopia rendered it impossible for him to see -you." - -I stopped in some returning confusion. - -"Those dreadful cube roots and quadratics--" said she. - -"The personality of the teacher," said I, "controls the matter." - -I heard her laugh, a little delighted laugh, and found myself agreeing -to the heresy that, after all, the chief thing is to train the girls to -be gentle, and the boys brave! Then I gave her my arm in to dinner. -Chester, who had never offered a girl his arm except at a dance or -after dark, glared at me. Mother was uneasy at the stirring of the old -brotherly antagonisms. I expanded, and told Miss Frayn that if all -southern women were like the only one I had met, I didn't wonder at the -feuds. Then seeing whither I was drifting, I asked her plans as to the -school she would take, when I sent her her certificate. She said that -"Mistah Chestah" was going to let her have the home school. - -"A boy like Chester," said I, "will have little influence with Mr. -Middlekauff, the director." - -"Oh, cut it out, Oc!" burst in Chester. "I've got it all framed up to be -elected director!" - -"My political plans," said I, "will not allow of a breach between my -family and Mr. Middlekauff." - -"Well, mine do," retorted Chester. "You'll take your chances with the -Middlekauffs, just as I do!" - -It was not the occult influence, but a desire to benefit educational -conditions, that led me to visit Miss Frayn's school the week Chester's -insurgency placed her in it. My memory is hazy as to the matter, but my -notes show that her weakness was in the matter of organization. - -"Oh," said she, when I mentioned this, "do you all prefeh things so -regulah and poky? It's so much mo' pleasant foh the little things to be -free!" She called most of the little ones "Honey," and allowed much -latitude in whispering and moving about. They crowded around her like -ants to a lump of sugar. Some of them were beginning to evince a laxity -of pronunciation, sounding the personal pronoun "I" like the -interjection "Ah." - -In a few days I went back--Chester sneered at me as I went by--to tell -Miss Frayn of the necessity of teaching the effects of stimulants and -narcotics according to the Iowa law. She was greatly surprised when I -told her of this requirement. - -"What, _daily_, Mr. Supe'intendent!" she exclaimed. - -"Daily teaching," said I. "Our law requires it." - -"It seems _so_ unnecessa'y," she said in perplexity. "The young -gentlemen will find out all about it in due time: and is it raght to -expe'iment with the littlest ones? And wheiah shall I obtain the liquoh -foh the demonstrations?" - -I felt strangely overcome at this astounding speech, by an indescribable -mixture of tender solicitude for her welfare, and horror at her fearful -mistake; but I reproved her for jesting at the vice of drinking. - -"Vice!" said she, with a bubbling laugh. "Why, down home we-all regyahd -it as an accomplishment! But Ah reckon you ah jokin' about teachin' it. -Youah jokes and use of the lettah 'ah' ah things Ah shall nevah get used -to, Ah'm afraid; but Ah'm glad you don't mean that about the drinkin'." - -Despairing of making her understand, I left her, again conscious of -being under occult and abnormal control. I was astonished to see in the -school several large boys who must have been greatly needed in the -fields. They looked at each other sheepishly as I came in, but most of -the time they gazed at the teacher, rather than at their books. Not -having the gift of prophecy, I could not see in their presence the cloud -that would soon overshadow my official life. I took their attendance as -proof of the popularity of the school. I studied the philosophers, and -sought calm of spirit. Learning from Epictetus that the earthen pitcher -and the rock do not agree, and from Lubbock that love at first sight is -thought by great minds actually to occur, I reëxamined my abnormal -psychic symptoms in Miss Frayn's presence, and prudently refrained from -seeking her society. Poise alone makes possible a consistent career, and -this I had in large measure reconquered, when, like a bolt from the -blue--or at least with much abruptness--into my quiet office burst a -committee from the Teal Lake Township School Board, accompanied by a -number of patrons of the Boggs school--all old neighbors of ours--headed -by the defeated Mr. Elizur Middlekauff. This could mean but one -thing--Miss Frayn! The rebel invasion was at the door. - -"Mr. Middlekauff," said one, "is the spokesman." - -"We've got a grievyance," said Mr. Middlekauff, "a whale of a grievyance -in our deestrict; and we've come right to the power-house to fix it." - -"It shall command my most careful consideration," said I. "Please state -the case." - -"That 'ere railroad wreck," said Mr. Middlekauff, who was a very -forcible speaker at caucuses, "let loose on our people a scourge in -caliker more pestilential than the Huns and Vandals. We come to you as -clothed with a little brief authority, an' accessory after the fact to -this scourge business." - -"I fail," said I, "to catch your meaning." - -"I mean," said he, growing loud, "that peaches-an'-cream invader from -the states lately in rebellion that you've give a stiffkit, an' your -brother Chet by stratagems an' spiles has got himself elected an' put -into our school. That's what I mean!" - -"I infer," said I, "some implied strictures upon the character or school -management or educational qualifications of Miss Roberta Lee Frayn." - -"W'l you infer surprisin'ly clus to the truth!" replied Mr. Middlekauff -offensively. "We're a-complainin' of this schoolma'am with the rebil -name; and of her onrivaled facilities f'r spreadin' treason an' -emotional insanity! Try to git that through your hair!" - -Like lightning a course of policy occurred to me. - -"Are the defendant," said I, looking them over, "and Mr. Boggs, the -director, among your numbers?" - -"No," said Mr. Middlekauff. "This is kinder informal. An' besides, we'd -crawl out right where we went in if she was here. I tell you she's -a--a--irresistible force." - -"It is elementary," said I, "that no _ex parte_ investigation can have -any validity." - -"Now, see here, Oc Boggs!" hissed he, "I don't take any high-an'-mighty -stand-off from a lunkhead that's stole my melons when he was a kid! -You'll hear this complaint, see?" - -I did not weaken, but I allowed his standing in the community and party -to outweigh offensive orthoepy, rhetoric, and manners. Unofficially, I -took down the complaint, reserving my ruling. As the horrid tale was -told I grew sick at the problem before me. I glean the details of the -situation from my notes: - -Miss Frayn (all these things are set down as _asserted_) had assigned -William Middlekauff, whose father was a member of the G. A. R., the -Confederate side of a debate on the comparative greatness of Washington -and Robert E. Lee, and had said: "She reckoned Mr. William ought to have -won, as he had the strong side." Complained of as against public policy, -adhering to armed insurrection, and giving aid and comfort to the enemy. -_Quoere_ (per O. B.): Is complaint good after forty years of peace, -and Reconstruction? - -All members of the committee said that every boy in the district of more -than sixteen years of age was irresistibly attracted to her (exact -language, "be-daddled over her," O. B.). Hence, her character must be -"wrong" somehow. Two boys, each claiming an exclusive franchise to sweep -out for her, had met in Allen's feed-lot to fight a duel, and been -discovered in the act of firing and tied to the feed-rack by Allen's -hired man, and spanked with the end-gate of his wagon. Clarence Skeen -was poorly, and had been found kneeling before a bench calling it his -darling Roberta and begging it to be his. Columbus Smith had turned -somnambulist, and his father had lost ten tons of timothy which "Clumb" -had failed to put up in cock. When sleep-walking Clumb had been heard by -Vespucci, his brother (known as "Spootch"), to protest with sighs and -groans that his heart was broken and to ask "Roberta" to shed one tear -over his grave. Twitted of this by his young sister, Semiramis, Clumb -had slapped her and, cursing profanely, had assaulted Spootch, who -reproved him, and had fled to the Wiggly Creek woods with no subsistence -but a loaf of salt-rising bread, a box of paper collars, and a book of -poems. Letter from Mrs. Smith asking that this Jezebel's certificate be -revoked before all should be lost. - -Whipple Cavanaugh had been idle and "lawless" since attending school. -Refused nourishment. Pillow wet with tears. Kissed Cavanaugh's mare, -"Old Flora," on nose after Miss Frayn had patted her on said spot. Had -written a poem to Roberta, and rather than have it read publicly by the -hired girl, who had found it under his pillow, had eaten it, paper, ink, -and all. Doctor Dilworthy called in; pronounced him in danger of -gastritis and love-sickness with grave prognosis. - -Names of fifteen boys given, known as "Frayn Mooners," who haunted the -shrubbery about the home of Mrs. Jane D. Boggs, where the teacher -boarded. Six fights were known to have occurred among them. Tension in -the neighborhood was unbearable because of the loosing by Chester Boggs, -"in violation of his official oath," of a bulldog which had bitten -Albert Boyer, and thrown his mother into nervous prostration. - -This epidemic of "worthlessness and sentimentality" was spreading -outside the district, as evidenced by an excerpt found in the dog's -possession, from the upper rear elevation of the Sunday trousers of -Boliver Fromme, living in District No. 4. Progress in the studies of the -boys confined to amatory poetry and pugilism, both unrelated to their -life work. _Iowa, My Iowa_, Major Byers' stirring lyric, had been -supplanted by _Maryland, My Maryland_, in school singing. Chester Boggs, -the director, refused to receive complaints, and was condemned as -equally affected with the disease, and probably a "Mooner" himself. -There was a certificate of Doctor Dilworthy of Teal Lake as to the -existence of many cases of "extreme mental exaltation accompanied by -explosive and fulminant cerebral disturbances traceable to mediate or -immediate association with one Roberta Lee Frayn, an individual -seemingly possessed of an abnormal power in the way of causing -obsessions, fixed ideas, aberrant cranio-spinal functionings, and -cranial tempests, in those of her associates resembling her in the -matter of age, and differing from her in social habits, hereditary -constitution, and sex." - -I sank back in my chair horrified, with a sinking in the region of the -epigastric plexus. - -"We kind o' thought, Oc," said Mr. Middlekauff, "that thet would hold -yeh f'r a while." - -I saw the muddled political relations with which this imbroglio teemed, -and clung to delay as my sole hope. - -"I am inexpressibly shocked," said I, "and as soon as we can meet with -the defendant and the director--" - -"What!" shrieked Mr. Middlekauff. "_Her_ present! Arter what them papers -says? And everybody follerin' her, if she jest smiles, like a caff arter -salt! Why, dad ding me, if I'd trust _myself_ f'r more'n a smile or two. -She'll bamboozle the hull thing if she's there. I b'lieve _you've_ got -it, you conceited young sprout! No, sir; decide this thing now!" - -"I regret the necessity," said I, "of asking time to get the opinion of -the county attorney, and to--to--" - -"Not by a dum sight!" roared Mr. Middlekauff. "We'll see what the court -has to say on this. An' when you're up f'r election ag'in, come round, -an' we'll consider it f'r a while--an' then you won't know you're -runnin'!" - -I was torn by conflicting emotions when they went away. I knew that -Middlekauff was a man of influence. I was not averse to seeing Chester -rebuked for his fatuous behavior, and for tempting me to a deviation -from strict duty. I felt that in taking my stand with the "Mooners" I -might be siding with the heaviest body of voters after all. By these -whiffling winds of the mind was I baffled, finding no rest in my works -on didactics and pedagogics, wondering what Middlekauff would do--until -all doubts were settled by the filing of the case of The School Board of -Teal Lake versus Frayn; and in a few days it came on for trial before -Judge Worthington. - -Chester telephoned, asking to see me. He came in looking thinner than I -had ever seen him. - -"Do you know," said he, "that this case old Middlekauff's got plugged up -comes off this morning?" - -"Having been summonsed by writ of subpoena," said I severely, "I am -aware that your wilfulness in placing an untried importation in charge -of our school, regardless of her unfitness, or of my political -well-being, is this morning bearing its legitimate fruit in the hearing -which comes _on_--not _off_! And I hope your lack of consideration for -the welfare of the school system, so largely wrapped up in my career, -will--" - -That Chester was temporarily insane is clear. He flew at me, seized my -trachea in his iron hands, compressed it so as greatly to impede -respiration, and knocked my head against the wall, using incoherently -certain technical terms he had learned at Ames. - -"Shut up!" he cried. "You -duplex--polyphase--automatic--back-action--compound-wound--multipolar -_Ass_! Shut up!" - -An anatomical chart on the wall preserved my head, and I retained my -self-possession. When he let me down I took my station on the other side -of a table and looked him in the eye, strongly willing that he quiet -down. - -"Forgive me, Oc," said he humbly, "I promised myself eight years ago -not to lick you any more! Pardon me." - -I forgave him, and we have ever since remained reconciled. He explained -that he wanted to consult as to methods of concealing from Miss Frayn -the nature of the suit. - -"Am I to understand," said I, "that she does not know that the relief -sought is her expulsion from the school?" - -"Of course she don't!" replied Chester. "Do you think I'd let her know? -She thinks everybody loves her. Nobody ever dared tell her anything -else, either here or down where she was raised. The boys down there -always were in love with her. She don't see anything strange in it--and -there isn't." - -"A change," said I, "would be wholesome for her." - -"She wouldn't know what to do," replied Chester. "And if she were to -hear these charges--against herself! Why, I don't know what she might -not do! She'd be absolutely desperate. She'd think she had no one to -defend her--and you know the Frayn way." - -"I shall not endeavor," said I, after consideration, "to reconcile -medieval notions of honor and personal dignity with proceedings under -the Iowa Code. Neither do I feel it prudent for me to see this person." - -For a few minutes Chester sat grinding his teeth and gripping the desk, -and then rushed from the office calling me a white-livered dub, and -telling me to go plumb to some place the name of which was cut off by -the door's slamming. I sat in the office feeling a sense of unrest, -until the time for going to court, where I found Judge Worthington on -the bench, Chester sitting at the defendant's table, and no Miss Frayn. - -"Are both sides ready in the next case?" asked the judge, without -looking at the calendar. - -"We wish to put the defendant on the stand for a few questions," said -Beasley, Middlekauff's lawyer. "I don't see her in court, your Honor." - -"Call the witness!" said the judge; and the bailiff shouted three times: -"Robert Lefrayne!" - -"Has this man Lefrayne been subpoenaed?" asked the judge; "as he is -defendant, I don't suppose you thought it necessary, Mr. Beasley." - -We could all see that the mispronunciation of the name had misled the -judge as to the identity of the defendant. - -"To make sure," said Beasley, "we subpoenaed the party. Here is the -writ, your Honor, with proof of service." - -"Mr. Clerk," said the judge, frowning sternly, "issue a bench warrant! -Mr. Sheriff, attach this witness, and produce him at two. Some of these -tardy witnesses will go to jail for contempt if this is repeated! Call -your next!" - -Chester was pale as a ghost, and accosted the bailiff as he went out -with the warrant. Then he came back and listened with flushes of anger -and clenched teeth to the reading of the pleadings, to which the judge -seemed to pay no attention. At two, after the intermission, the bailiff, -Captain Winfield, an old G. A. R. man, appeared with Miss Frayn on his -arm. He was blushing and fumbling his bronze button, while she smiled up -at him in a charming, daughterly way that brought back dangerous -symptoms of relapse in my psychic nature. - -"Call the witness Lefrayne!" cried the judge. - -Light, airy, daintily flushed, she floated up to the bench. The fine for -contempt died in Forceythe Worthington's breast, as he stared in a sort -of delighted embarrassment. - -"It was raght kahnd of you, Judge Wo'thin'ton," she said, looking up -into his face, "to send Captain Winfield to remahnd me of mah -engagement hyah. Why, he was at Franklin, and Chickamauga, and knows -Tennessee! And now, gentlemen, what can Ah do foh you-all?" - -The judge stepped down from the bench and handed Miss Frayn to the -witness chair like a lord chancellor placing a queen on her throne. -Beasley looked at the witness as if fascinated. Middlekauff seized him -by the lapel of his coat. - -"Don't look at her, Beasley, more'n yeh c'n help!" he whispered. "I tell -yeh, it's dangerous!" - -And yet _I_ am selected to bear blame for a momentary weakness of the -prevailing sort! - -"Proceed, gentlemen!" said Judge Worthington. - -Beasley gathered up his papers. "Are you the defendant?" asked he. - -"Ah don't quite gathah youah meanin' suh," said she, "but Ah think not, -suh." - -"You're the teacher of the Boggs School, in Teal Lake Township?" - -"Oh, yes, suh!" said she. "Pahdon me! I thought you inquiahed about -something else." - -Judge Worthington started as if struck by a dart. - -"Let me see the papers in the case," said he excitedly. - -Beasley handed them up, and the judge examined them carefully. Then he -handed them down, turned his back on Miss Frayn, and spoke in a low -tone, like one greatly shocked. - -"Proceed!" said he. - -Something in his tone or in the turning of his back seemed to strike -upon the senses of Miss Frayn as unpleasant or hostile. The few -questions put to her by the lawyer to lay the foundation for some other -bit of evidence did not appear to affect her at all; and when she took -her seat between Chester and my mother, and was reassured by their -whispered communications, she looked serene, save when she noted the -judge's averted face. Chester's lawyer spoke insinuatingly of spite, -prejudice, and unreasonable provincialism as being at the bottom of the -case. - -"And," he added, "I may add jealousy--jealousy, your Honor, of the -defendant's charms of person, which, as a part of the _res gestæ_, are -evidence in this case, if your honor only would observe them." - -The judge started and blushed, but still looked steadily away. Mr. -Middlekauff looked relieved. Miss Frayn fretted the linoleum with little -taps of her toe, and her delicate nostrils fluttered. There was a mystic -tension in the air. - -"Mr. Chestah," said the girl, in a low voice, "he seems to be alludin' -to--what does he mean?" - -Judge Worthington rapped for silence. Miss Frayn's eyes grew bright, and -her cheek showed a spot of crimson which deepened as the reading of the -affidavit went on. As the legal verbiage droned through the story of the -boys' infatuation, I looked at her, and knew that her indignation was -swelling fiercely at she scarcely knew what. I began repeating to myself -a passage from Seneca. - -"Objected to," roared Chester's lawyer, "as incompetent, irrelevant, -immaterial, impertinent, and grossly scandalous!" - -Miss Frayn clenched her hands and held her breath as if at the -realization of her worst fears. Then the judge spoke. "The affidavit," -said he, "attributes to Miss Frayn a malign and corrupting influence -over the whole neighborhood, and--" - -"Suh!" she gasped. - -Again did the judge rap for order. - -"Ruling reserved," said he. "Proceed." - -Triumphantly Beasley went on with the resolutions. At last Miss Frayn -seemed to understand. She rose, stilled Beasley with a gesture, and in -frozen dignity addressed the court. - -"Judge Wo'thin'ton," said she, "Ah'm not quite ce'tain Ah get the full -meanin' of this, but Ah feel that Ah cain't pe'mit it to go fu'thah. Ah -desiah to say to you as a gentleman and an acquaintance, if not a -friend, that these ah things that can not be said of a lady, suh!" - -"The defendant," said the judge, after two or three ineffectual attempts -to speak, "will be heard through her counsel--proceed!" - -She was hurt and desperate as she sat down, and in a cold and livid -fury. With her eyes level and shining like knife-points, she put off, -with a look like a blow, Chester's efforts to comfort her. She sat, an -alien in an inhospitable land, hedged about by a wall of displeasure at -some formless insult, and at friends without chivalry. The judge began -stating his decision, giving the argument for the one side and then for -the other, as judges do. - -"The evidence tends to prove," said he, "that Roberta Lee Frayn has a -malign fascination over her pupils--the larger boys especially; that she -has lured them into personal attendance upon her rather than to study; -that she has incited young men to duels, brawls, breaches of the peace, -and--" - -I could see that she thought the phrase "it tends to prove" an -expression of his belief in the charges; and as he went on her face -flamed red once more, and then went white as snow. She stepped back from -the table as if to clear for action, one little hand lifted, the other -in the folds of her dress. - -"Suh!" she cried, in a passion of indignation which was splendid and -terrible. "This must stop! If mah false friends lack the chivalry to -protect me and mah good name, Ah'll defend mahself, suh!" - -Chester half rose, as if to throw himself into the hopeless contest. - -"The defendant does not understand," said the judge. "The defendant will -resume her seat! The evidence tends to prove that--" - -But the decision was never finished; for the girl drew a short, small -pistol and aimed at him. We were frozen in horror. Judge Worthington -looked unwaveringly into the muzzle. - -"Roberta!" said he. - -I then saw a rush by Captain Winfield to strike her arm; the pistol -roared out in the court-room like a cannon; and as Miss Frayn sank back -into my mother's arms, Judge Worthington stepped down with a rent across -his shoulder, from which he withdrew his fingers stained red. From under -the table, where irresistible force had thrown me, I saw him take her -unresisting hand, and heard him whisper to her. - -"Darling!" said he. "You don't understand! Let me explain, sweetheart, -and then if you want the pistol back I'll give it to you, loaded!" - -Then he stood up and took command. - -"The bailiff," said he, "will remove the defendant and Mrs. Boggs to my -chambers. I shall investigate this _in camera_. I am not hurt, -gentlemen, more than a pin's prick, and am able to go on and take such -measures as are necessary to protect the court. Remain here until I -resume the trial!" - -"I tell you," said Middlekauff, "we'll crawl out where we went in. -Nobody can stand ag'in her at clus range like that!" - -Captain Winfield's face bore a puzzled and mysterious smile as he -emerged from the chambers. - -"You can't subdue these Southerners, Oc," said he. - -"The verdict of history," said I, "is otherwise." - -"We just reconstructed and absorbed 'em," said he. "I was there, an' I -know. The judge thinks we've got to handle this Frayn invasion the same -way." - -"I fail to get your meaning," said I. - -"The way to absorb this rebel host," said the captain, "is to marry it. -It's the only way to ground her wire and demagnetize her. I can't -undertake the job, for reasons known to all. You're sort of responsible -for her devastatin' course, an' I think it'll cipher itself down to -Oscar Boggs as a bridegroom for the good of Teal Lake Township, and the -welfare of the Boggs School." - -My emotions were tumultuous. No such marriage could be forced on me, of -course; but duty, duty! Marriage had been to me an asset to be used in -my career, some time after my doctor's degree, like casting in chess. I -thought of Miss Frayn's untamable nature; and then of her sweetly tender -way with the little ones, how they clambered over her while she called -them "honey." - -"On the main point," said the captain, "the court had its mind made up -when I came out. This marryin' has got to be did. Who's to do it is what -they're figgerin' on!" - -"Captain Winfield," said I, "if the public interests require it, if my -constituents demand it, I will make the sacrifice! Doctor Johnson said -that marriages might well be arranged by the Lord Chancellor, and Judge -Worthington is now sitting in chancery. I will marry the defendant, _pro -bono publico_!" - -"Oc," said the captain, in a properly serious manner, though some -tittered, "you're a livin' marvel! I'll go back and report." - -Almost immediately, as my heart-beats stifled me, they emerged from the -chambers. My mother was in tears. Worthington bore Miss Frayn on his -arm, and both looked exaltedly happy. Roberta, as I called her in my -thoughts, shrank back bashfully, more beautiful than I had ever seen -her. It was a great, a momentous hour for me. I felt that I had settled -the case. - -"I shall ask the plaintiff," said the judge, "to dismiss this case!" - -"On what grounds?" interrogated Beasley sharply. - -"Don't tell, Forceythe!" said Roberta, hiding her face on the judge's -arm as I approached. - -"Because the defendant," the judge replied to Beasley, "has resigned. -She is about to be married!" - -"Didn't I tell you, Oc," said Winfield, slapping me on the back--which -in the delightful embarrassment of the occasion I did not resent--"that -it was up to you?" - -A boy in the audience--I think it was William Middlekauff--caught the -judge's statement, and ungrammatically shouted: "Who to?" - -"The lucky man?" shouted the crowd. "Name him!" - -As it seemed proper for me to do under the circumstances, I went forward -to take Roberta's hand in anticipation of the announcement. Then all -went dark before my eyes. - -"I am happy," said Judge Worthington, "happy and inexpressibly honored -to say that the defendant is to be married to me!" - - * * * * * - -The Hired Man was asleep as the Professor concluded his tale, and some -of the rest were nodding. They rose to retire. - -"I suppose," said the Groom, "that the only safe way is to let them -entirely alone, Professor?" - -The Professor, embarrassed by the presence of the Bride, could only bow. - -"Gad!" said Colonel Baggs, taking his hand. "Your case goes into the -hard-luck file with that of the Nez Percè victim, Mr. Cowan of -Radersburg." - - - - -CHAPTER VII - - -"On this lake," declaimed the Colonel, "farther from tide water than any -other like body of water on this earth, could float our entire navy." - -"Safest place in the world for it, too," declared the Groom. - -"I know some awfully nice navy men," protested the Bride; "so don't be -cattish about the navy." - -They had spent many hours on Yellowstone Lake, and days in its vicinity. -Paint pots, geysers, and iridescent springs were no longer recorded in -the log-book; but when, at the Fishing Cone, the Hired Man came into -camp asking for salt, with a cooked trout on his line, and the Bride -learned that he had hooked the fish in cold water, and cooked it in hot -without moving from the spot, wonder at the marvel was swallowed up in -protest on the Bride's part, against such an atrocity. - -"Oh, Mr. Snoke, Mr. Snoke!" said she, almost tearful. "How could you! -How could you! How would you like to have a thing like that done to -you--cooked alive. Oh!" - -"Well," said Mr. Snoke. "If you put it that way, I wouldn't be very -strong for bein' hooked, let alone cooked. After I'd been snaked out of -the drink, I wouldn't care, Bride." - -"Well, I move we don't cook any more of 'em until they have gasped out -their lives slowly and in the ordinary mode," said the Artist. - -"Shore," said Aconite, "no more automobiles de fe for the trout--hear -that, Bill? An' speakin' of cookin' fish that-a-way," he went on, -creating a conversational diversion. "Old Jim Bridger found a place out -here som'eres, where the water was shore deep. At the bottom it was -cold, and on the top hot--hot as it is in the Fish Cone over yon. He -used to hook trout down in the cold water, and they'd cook to a turn -while he was bringin' 'em to the surface an' playin' 'em." - -"That sounds to me all right," assented the Colonel. - -"The hot water," observed the Professor, "would naturally be at the -surface; but as for the tale itself--" - -"It would, eh?" queried Aconite. "Well, I've forded the Firehole where -the bottom was hot, an' the top cold. An' Old Jim Bridger knowed of a -place where the water of a cold spring starts at the top of a mountain, -and slides down so fast that the friction heats the water hot--just -rubbin' on the rocks comin' down. It's here in these hills som'eres, -yet!" - -The Artist, the Groom and the Colonel fished industriously for one day -and then handed in a unanimous verdict that it was a shame to take -advantage of the trout's verdancy. So the Hired Man and Aconite foraged -for the frying-pan. - -The change to boat from land carriage was so grateful, now, that they -made wondrous voyages, first to the scenes reached by water. They -photographed bears near camp and both deer and elk in the meadows and on -their shore feeding-grounds. It was no longer a strange or startling -thing to see a grizzly bear, and to stalk him with a kodak. The pelicans -on the lake were to them as the swans on a private pond. The sense of -ownership grew upon them. Here was their own pleasure-ground. It was -theirs by virtue of their citizenship. They might not visit it -often--though all declared their intention of coming back every -summer--but, anyhow, it would be fine to know that here on the summit of -the continent was this wonderland, owned by them and each of them. - -They took saddle horses down the southern approach to Heart Lake, and -voted it the loveliest lake in the park. - -"That is," said the Bride, "it doesn't compare with the big lake up -yonder in greatness; but it's just pure joy. Let's camp here for the -night. Let's draw another romance from the library right now; and give -the victim time to compose his thoughts while we go see that Rustic -Geyser, with the stone logs around it." - -Somehow they seemed farther from the haunts of men here than anywhere -else in the Park. The stream of tourists seemed to sweep on past the -Thumb Lunch Station, toward the Lake Hotel; and Heart Lake, with Mount -Sheridan brooding over it, was theirs alone. And it was here that the -Hired Man, with many protests that he wasn't really a member of the -party, but only working his way, told his story--like another Ulysses -returned from Troy and his wanderings. - -FROM ALPHA TO OMEGA - -THE HIRED MAN'S STORY - -It narrows a man to stick around in one place. You broaden out more -pan-handling over one division, than by watching the cars go by for -years. I've been everywhere from Alpha, Illinois, to Omega, Oklahoma, -and peeked over most of the jumping-off places; and Iowa is not the -whole works at all. That's why I'm here now. Good quiet state to moss -over in; but no life! Me for the mountains where the stealing is good -yet, and a man with genius can be a millionaire! - -I was in one big deal, once--the Golden Fountain Mine. Pete Peterson and -I worked in the Golden Fountain and boarded with Brady, a pit boss. Ever -hear of psychic power? A medium told me once that I have it, and that's -why folks tell me their secrets. The second day Brady told me the mine -was being wrecked. - -"How do you know?" said I. - -"They're minin' bird's-eye porphyry," said Brady, "purtendin' they've -lost the lode." - -"Maybe they have," said I. - -"Not them," replied Brady, who never had had any culture. "I can show -you the vein broad's a road an' rich as pudd'n'!" - -I didn't care a whoop, as long as they paid regular; but Brady worried -about the widows and orphans that had stock. I said I had no widows and -orphans contracting insomnia for me, and he admitted he hadn't. But he -said a man couldn't tell what he might acquire. Soon after, a load of -stulls broke loose, knocked Pete Peterson numb, and in the crash Brady -accumulated a widow. It was thought quite odd, after what he'd said. - -The union gave him a funeral, and then we were all rounded up by a -lawyer that insisted on being a pall-bearer and riding with the -mourners, he and Brady had been such dear friends. The widow never heard -of him; but unless he was dear to Brady, why did he cry over the bier, -and pass out his cards, and say he'd make the mine sweat for this? It -didn't seem reasonable, and the widow signed papers while he held in his -grief. - -Then we found he had awful bad luck losing friends. A lot of them had -been killed or hurt, and he was suing companies to beat fours. We were -going over our evidence, and another bunch was there with a doctor -examining to see how badly they were ruined. - -"Beautiful injury!" said the lawyer, thumping a husky Hun on the leg. -"No patellar reflex! Spine ruined! Beautiful! We'll make 'em sweat for -this!" - -He surely was a specialist in corporate perspiration. I asked what the -patellar reflex was, and the doc had Pete sit and cross his legs, and -explained. - -"Mr. Peterson," said he, "has a normal spine. When I concuss the limb -here, the foot will kick forward involuntarily. But in case of spinal -injury, it will not. Now observe!" - -He whacked Pete's shin with a rubber hammer, but Pete never kicked. His -foot hung loose like, not doing a blamed thing that the doc said it -would if his spine was in repair. The doc was plumb dumb-foundered. - -"Most remarkable case of volitional control--" he began. - -"Volitional your grandmother!" yells the lawyer. "Mr. Peterson is ruined -also! He was stricken prone in the same negligent accident that killed -dear Mr. Brady! He is doomed! A few months of progressive induration of -the spinal cord, and breaking up of the multipolar cells, and--death, -friend, death!" - -The widow begun to whimper, and the lawyer grabbed Pete's hand and -bursted into tears. Pete, being a Swede, never opened his face. - -"But," said the lawyer, cheering up, "we'll make them sweat for this. -Shall we not vindicate the right of the working-man to protection, Mr. -Peterson?" - -"Yu bat!" said Pete. "Ay bane gude Republican!" - -"And vindicate his right," went on the lawyer, "to safe tools and -conditions of employment?" - -"Ay tank we windicate," said Pete. - -"Nobly said!" said the lawyer and hopped to it making agreements for -contingent fees and other flimflams. It was wonderful how sort of -patriotic and unselfish and religious and cagey he always was. - -We quit the Golden Fountain, and I got some assessment work for Sile -Wilson. Pete wouldn't go. He was sort of hanging around the widow, but -his brains were so sluggish that I don't believe he knew why. I picked -up a man named Lungy to help. Sile's daughter Lucy kept house for Sile -in camp, and in two days she was calling Lungy "Mr. Addison," and -reproaching me for stringing a stranger that had seen better days and -had a bum lung and was used to dressing for dinner. I told her I most -always allowed to wear something at that meal myself, and she snapped -my head off. He was a nice fellow for a lunger. - -When I had to go and testify in the Brady and Peterson cases against the -Golden Fountain, old Sile was willing. - -"I'd like to help stick the thieves!" he hissed. - -"How did you know they were thieves?" asked I. - -"I located the claim," said he, "and they stole it on a measley little -balance for machinery--confound them!" - -"Well, they're stealing it again," said I; and I explained the lost vein -business. - -"They've pounded the stock away down," said the lunger. "I believe it's -a good buy!" - -"Draw your eighteen-seventy-five from Sile," said I; "and come with me -and buy it!" - -"I think I will go," said he. And he did. He was a nice fellow to travel -with. - -Well, the Golden Fountain was shut down, and had no lawyer against us. -It was a funny hook-up. We proved about the stulls, and got a judgment -for the widow for ten thousand. Then we corralled another jury and -showed that Pete had no patellar reflex, and therefore no spine, and got -a shameful great verdict for him. And all the time the Golden Fountain -never peeped, and Lungy Addison looked on speechless. Our lawyer was -numb, it was so easy. - -"I don't understand--" said he. - -"The law department must be connected in series with the mine -machinery," said I, "and shuts off with the same switch. Do we get this -on a foul?" - -"Oh, nothing foul!" said he. "Default, you see--" - -"No showup at ringside," said I; "9 to 0? How about bets?" - -"Everything is all right," said he, looking as worried. "We'll sell the -mine, and make the judgments!" - -"And get the Golden Fountain," said I, "on an Irish pit boss and a -Swede's spine?" - -"Certainly," said he, "if they don't redeem." - -"Show me," said I; "I'm from Missouri! It's too easy to be square. She -won't pan!" - -"Dat bane hellufa pile money f'r vidder," said Pete when we were alone. -"Ten thousan' f'r Brady, an' twelf f'r spine! Ay git yob vork f'r her in -mine!" - -"You wild Skandihoovian," said I, "that's _your_ spine!" - -"Mae spine?" he grinned. "Ay gass not! Dat leg-yerkin' bane only -effidence. Dat spine bane vidder's!" - -I couldn't make him see that it was his personal spine, and the -locomotor must be attaxing. He smiled his fool smile and brought things -to comfort Mrs. Brady's last days. But she knew, and took him to Father -Mangan, and Pete commenced studying the catechism against the time of -death; but it didn't take. The circuit between the Swedenwegian -intellect and the Irish plan of salvation looks like it's grounded and -don't do business. - -"Very well said," commented the Groom. "I couldn't have put it more -engenerically myself." - -One night the lawyer asked me to tell "the Petersons," as he called -them, that some New Yorker had stuck an intervention or mandamus into -the cylinder and stopped the court's selling machinery. "We may be -delayed a year or so," said he. Pete had gone to the widow's with a -patent washboard that was easy on the spine, and I singlefooted up, too. -And there was that yellow-mustached Norsky holding the widow on his lap, -bridging the chasm between races in great shape. He flinched some, and -his neck got redder, but she fielded her position in big league form, -and held her base. - -"Bein' as the poor man is not long f'r this wicked world," said she, -"an' such a thrue man, swearin' as the l'yer wanted, I thought whoile -the crather stays wid us--" - -"Sure," said I. "Congrats! When's the merger?" - -"Hey?" says Pete. - -"The nuptials," said I. "The broom-stick jumping." - -The widow got up and explained that the espousals were hung up till Pete -could pass his exams with Father Mangan. - -"Marriage," said she, "is a sacrilege, and not lightly recurred. Oh, the -thrials of a young widdy, what wid Swedes, and her sowl, an' the childer -that may be--Gwan wid ye's, ye divvle ye!" - -Now there was a plot for a painter: the widow thinking Pete on the blink -spinally, and he soothing her last days, all on account of a patellar -reflex that an ambulance chaser took advantage of--and the courts full -of quo-warrantoes and things to keep the Jackleg from selling a listed -mine, with hoisting-works and chlorination-tanks! - -I got this letter from Pete, or the widow, I don't know which -[displaying a worn piece of paper], about the third year after that. -Here's what it says: - - "Ve haf yust hat hell bad time, savin' yer prisence, and Ay skal - skip for tjiens of climit to gude pless Ay gnow in Bad Lands. - Lawyer faller sell mine fer 10 tousan to vidder, an thin, bad cess - to him, sells it agin to Pete fer 12000$ an git 2 stifkit off - sheriff an say hae keep dem fer fees, an Ay gnok him in fess an - take stifkit. Hae say hae tell mae spine bane O K all tem, an - thrittened to jug Pete, an the back of me hand and the sole of me - fut to the likes of him, savin' yer prisence, an Fader Mangan call - me big towhead chump an kant lern catty kismus an marry me to - vidder, an Pete, God bliss him, promised to raise the family in - Holy Church, but no faller gnow dem tings Bfour hand, an Ay tank ve - hike to dam gude pless in Bad Lands vun yare till stifkit bane ripe - an Mine belong vidder an Ay bane Yeneral Manager an yu pit Boss vit - gude yob in Yune or Yuly next, yours truely, an may the Blessid - Saints purtect ye, PETER PETERSON. - - "P. S. Vidder Brady mae vife git skar an sine stifkit fer Brady to - lawyer faller like dam fool vooman trik an sattle vit him, but Ay - tink dat leg-yerkin bane bad all sem an yump to Bad Lands if we - dodge inyunction youre frend. PETE." - -"So they got married," said Aconite. - -Just the way I figured it. - -Well, this lunger sleuthed me out when I was prospecting alone next -summer. - -"Hello, Bill," said he, abrupt-like. "Cook a double supply of bacon." - -"Sure," I said. "Got any eating tobacco, Lungy?" - -"Bill," said he, after we had fed our respective faces, "did you ever -wonder why that Swede received such prompt recognition without -controversy for his absent patellar reflex?" - -"Never wonder about anything else," said I. "Why?" - -"It was this way," said he. "The crowd that robbed Sile Wilson found -they had sold too much stock, and quit mining ore to run it down so they -could buy it back. Some big holders hung on, and they had to make the -play strong. So they went broke for fair, and let Brady's widow and Pete -and a lot of others get judgments, and they bought up the certificates -of sale. D'ye see?" - -"Kind of," said I. "It'll come to me all right." - -"It was a stock market harvest of death," said Lungy. "The judgments -were to wipe out all the stock. This convinces me that the vein is -hidden and not lost, as you said." - -"I thought I mentioned the fact," said I, "that Brady showed me the -ore-chute." - -"That's why I'm here," said he. "I want you to find Pete Peterson for -me." - -"Why?" I said. - -"Because," answered Addison, "he's got the junior certificate." - -"Give me the grips and passwords," I demanded; "the secret work of the -order may clear it up." - -"Listen," said he. "Each certificate calls for a deed to the mine the -day it's a year old; but the younger can redeem from the older by paying -them off--the second from the first, the third from the second, and so -on." - -"Kind of rotation pool," said I, "with Pete's claim as ball fifteen?" - -"Yes," said he; "only the mine itself has the last chance. But they -think they know that Pete won't turn up, and they gamble on stealing the -mine with the Brady certificate. Your perspicacity enables you to -estimate the importance of Mr. Peterson." - -"My perspicacity," I said, giving it back to him cold, "informs me that -some jackleg lawyer has been and bunked Pete out of the paper long -since. And he couldn't pay off what's ahead of him any more'n he could -buy the Homestake? Come, there's more than this to the initiation!" - -"Yes, there is," he admitted. "You remember Lucy, of course? No one -could forget her! Well, her father and I are in on a secret pool of his -friends, they to find the money, we to get this certificate." - -"Where does Lucy come in?" said I. - -"I get her," he replied, coloring up. "And success makes us all rich!" - -I never said a word. Lungy was leery that I was soft on Lucy--I might -have been, easy enough--and sat looking at me for a straight hour. - -"Can you find him for me?" said he, at last. - -"Sure!" said I. - -He smoked another pipeful and knocked out the ashes. - -"Will you?" said he, kind of wishful. - -"If you insult me again," I hissed, "I'll knock that other lung out! -Turn in, you fool, and be ready for the saddle at sun-up!" - -We rode two days in the country that looks like the men had gone out -when they had the construction work on it half done, when a couple of -horsemen came out of a draw into the cañon ahead of us. - -"The one on the pinto," said I, "is the perspiration specialist." - -"If he doesn't recognize you," said Lungy, "let the dead past stay -dead!" - -Out there in the sunshine the Jackleg looked the part, so I wondered -how we come to be faked by him. We could see that the other fellow was a -sheriff, a deputy-sheriff, or a candidate for sheriff--it was in his -features. - -"Howdy, fellows!" said I. - -"Howdy!" said the sheriff, and closed his face. - -"Odd place to meet!" gushed the Jackleg, as smily as ever. "Which way?" - -"We allowed to go right on," I said. - -"This is our route," said Jackleg, and moseys up the opposite draw, -clucking to his bronk, like an old woman. - -"What do you make of his being here?" asked Lungy. - -"Hunting Swedes," I said. "And with a case against Pete for robbery and -assault. I hope we see him first!" - -We went on, Lungy ignorantly cheerful, I lost-like to know what was -what, and feeling around with my mind's finger for the trigger of the -situation. Suddenly I whoaed up, shifted around on my hip, and looked -back. - -"Lost anything, Bill?" asked Lungy. - -"Temporarily mislaid my brains," said I. "We're going back and pick up -the scent of the Jackleg." - -Lungy looked up inquiringly, as we doubled back on our tracks. - -"When you kick a covey of men out of this sagebrush," I explained, "they -naturally ask about anything they're after. They inquire if you know a -Cock-Robin married to a Jenny-Wren, or an Owl to a Pussycat, or whatever -marital misdeal they're trailing. They don't mog on like it was Kansas -City or Denver." - -"Both parties kept still," replied Lungy. "What's the answer, Bill?" - -"Both got the same guilty secret," said I, "and they've got it the -worst. They know where Pete is. So will we if we follow their spoor." - -We pelted on right brisk after them. The draw got to be a cañon, with -grassy, sheep-nibbled bottom, and we knew we were close to somewhere. At -last, rolling to us around a bend, came a tide of remarks, rising and -swelling to the point of rough-house and riot. - -"The widow!" said I. "She knows me. You go in, Lungy, and put up a stall -to keep 'em from seeing Pete alone first!" - -I crept up close. The widow was calling the Jackleg everything that a -perfect lady as she was, you know, could lay her tongue to, and he -trying to blast a crack in the oratory to slip a word into. - -"I dislike," said Lungy, "to disturb privacy; but we want your man to -show us the way." - -"Who the devil are you?" said the sheriff. - -"My name--" began Lungy. - -"Whativer it is, sorr," said the widow, "it's a betther name nor his you -shpake to--the black far-down, afther taking me man and lavin' me -shtarve wid me babbies he robbed iv what the coort give! But as long as -I've a tongue in me hid to hould, ye'll not know where he's hid!" - -And just then down behind me comes Pete on a fair-sized cayuse branded -with a double X. - -"Dat bane you, Bill?" said he casual-like. "You most skar me!" - -I flagged him back a piece and told him the Jackleg was there. He ran, -and I had to rope him. - -"You're nervous, Pete," said I, helping him up. "What's the matter?" - -"Dis blame getaway biz," he said, "bane purty tough on fallar. Ay listen -an' yump all tem nights!" - -"How about going back for the mine?" I asked. - -"Dat bane gude yoke!" he grinned. "Ay got gude flock an' planty range -hare, an' Ay stay, Ay tank. Yu kill lawyer fallar, Bill, an' take half -whole shooting-match!" - -"Got that certificate?" I asked. - -It was all worn raw at the folds, but he had it. The Jackleg had an -assignment all ready on the back, and I wrote Addison's name in, and -made Pete sign it. - -"Now," said I. "We'll take care of Mr. Jackleg, and you'll get something -for this, but I don't know what. Don't ever come belly-aching around -saying we've bunked you after Lungy has put up his good money and copped -the mine. These men want this paper, not you. Probably they've got no -warrant. Brace up and stand pat!" - -So we walked around bold as brass. The widow was dangling a -Skandy-looking kid over her shoulder by one foot, and analyzing the -parentage of Jackleg. Lungy was grinning, but the sheriff's face was -shut down. - -"Ah, Mr. Peterson!" said the lawyer. "And our old and dear friend -William Snoke, too! I thought I recognized you this morning! And now, -please excuse our old and dear friend Mr. Peterson for a moment's -consultation." - -"Dis bane gude pless," said Pete. "Crack ahead!" - -"This is a private matter, gentlemen," said Jackleg. - -"Shall we withdraw?" asks Lungy. - -"No!" yells Pete. "You stay--be vitness!" - -"I wish to remind you, dear Mr. Peterson," said he as we sort of settled -in our places, "that your criminal assault and robbery of me has -subjected you to a long term in prison. And I suffered great damage by -interruption of business, and bodily and mental anguish from the wounds, -contusions and lesions inflicted, and especially from the compound -fracture of the inferior maxillary bone--" - -"Dat bane lie!" said Pete. "Ay yust broke your yaw!" - -"He admits the _corpus delicti_!" yelled the lawyer. "Gentlemen, bear -witness!" - -"I didn't hear any such thing," said Lungy. - -"Neither did I," I said. - -"I figure my damages," he went on, "at twelve thousand dollars." - -Pete picked a thorn out of his finger. - -"Now, Mr. Peterson," went on the lawyer, "I don't suppose you have the -cash. But when I have stood up and fought for a man for pure friendship -and a mere contingent fee, I learn to love him. I would fain save you -from prison, if you would so act as to enable me to acquit you of -felonious intent. A prison is a fearful place, Mr. Peterson!" - -"Ay tank," said Pete, "Ay brace up an' stand pat!" - -"If you would do anything," pleaded the Jackleg, "to show good -intention, turn over to me any papers you may have, no matter how -worthless--notes, or--or certificates!" - -Pete pulled out his wallet. Lungy turned pale. - -"Take dis," said Pete. "Dis bane order fer six dollar Yohn Yohnson's -wages. Ay bane gude fallar!" - -"Thanks!" said the Jackleg, pious-like. "And _is_ that long document the -certificate of sale in Peterson _vs._ Golden Fountain, etc.?" - -"Dat bane marryin' papers," said Pete. "Dat spine paper bane N. G. Mae -spine all tem O. K. Dat leg-yerkin' bane yust effidence. Ay take spine -paper to start camp-fire!" - -It was as good as a play. Lungy turned pale and trembled. The lawyer -went up in the air and told the sheriff to arrest Pete, and appealed to -the widow to give up the certificate, and she got sore at Pete, and -called him a Norwegian fool for burning it, and cuffed the bigger kid, -which was more Irish-looking. Pete dug his toe into the ground and -looked ashamed and mumbled something about it not being his spine. The -sheriff told Pete to come along, and I asked him to show his warrant. He -made a bluff at looking in his clothes for it, and rode away with his -countenance tight-closed. - -Lungy and I rode off the other way. - -That night Lungy smiled weakly as I started the fire with paper. - -"Bill," said he, "I shall never burn paper without thinking how near I -came to paradise and dropped plump--" - -"Oh, I forgot," said I. "Here's that certificate." - -Lungy took it, looked it over, read the assignment, and broke down and -cried. - - * * * * * - -"How did it come out?" asked the Bride. - -"Oh," said the Hired Man, "Lungy waited till the last minute, flashed -the paper and the money, and swiped the mine. The company wanted to give -a check and redeem, but the clerk stood out for currency, and it was too -late to get it. He got the mine, and Lucy, and is the big Mr. Addison, -now. No, me for where you can carry off things that are too big for the -grand larceny statutes. This business of farming is too much like -chicken-feed for me!" - - - - -CHAPTER VIII - - -"I came on this trip," said Colonel Baggs, "to rest my vocal organs, and -not to talk. In this ambition I have been greatly aided by the -willingness of Professor Boggs to assume the conversational burden in -our seat. However, now that my name has been drawn from the hat, I shall -have the pleasure, and honor, lady and gentlemen, to entertain you for a -very few minutes--after which, thanking you for your very kind attention -and liberal patronage, the hay--the hay, my friends, for me!" - -At the Lake Hotel, to which they had come by boat, they found their -tents pitched and their dinner awaiting them--for which they were -indebted to the efficiency of Aconite and the Hired Man, who had come -overland; and the latter of whom assured them that they had missed the -greatest curiosity of the Park in failing to see the Natural Bridge. - -"On your way, Bill!" said the Groom. "You didn't see the petrified sea -serpent swimming off Gull Point, did you?" - -"Dumb it all, no!" exclaimed Bill. "I never am around when anything good -is pulled off!" - - -THE LAW AND AMELIA WHINNERY - -THE TALE OF COLONEL BAGGS OF OMAHA - -I was much interested (said the Colonel, beginning his story), in the -tale told by my learned brother, Mr. Snoke. The story of the way Mr. -Lungy Addison committed grand larceny in getting away with the Mortal -Cinch mine is one that, falling from the mouth, as it does, of a person -not learned in the law and its beauties, must be true. Nobody but a -lawyer could have invented it--and I assure you that lawyers are too -busy with the strange phases of truth to monkey--if I may use a term not -yet laundered by the philologists--with fiction. The law is the -perfection of human wisdom. Our courts are the God-ordained instruments -by which these perfections are made manifest to the eyes of mere human -beings. To be sure the courts are composed of men who were but even now -lawyers--but that's neither here, there, nor yonder--when the anointment -of their judicial consecration runs down their beard, as did the oil -down that of Aaron, human imperfections are at end with them, and it's -all off with frailty. And this brings me to the brief story which is my -contribution to the Yellowstone Nights' Entertainment. I sing, my -beloved, the saga of The Law and Amelia Whinnery. - -I just got a decision over in Nebraska in the case of Whinnery _vs._ The -C. & S. W. It shows that Providence is still looking out for the -righteous man and his seed. Never heard of Whinnery _vs._ the Railway -Company? Well, it may put you wise to a legal principle or two, and I'll -tell you about it. I was ag'in' the corporations over there, as -associate counsel for the plaintiff. Bob Fink, that studied in my -office, was the fellow the case belonged to, and he being a little -afraid of Absalom Scales, the railroad's local attorney, sent over a -Macedonian wail to me, and said we'd cut up a fifty per cent, contingent -fee if we won. I went. - -Amelia Whinnery was the plaintiff. She was a school-teacher who had got -hold of the physical culture graft, and was teaching it to teachers' -institutes, making forty dollars a minute the year around. - -"How much?" asked the Hired Man. - -"I'm telling you what the record showed as I remember it," said the -Colonel. "We proved that she was doing right well financially when the -railroad put her out of business by failing to ring a bell or toot a -whistle at the crossing coming into Tovala, and catching Bill Williams' -bus asleep at the switch. Miss Whinnery was in the bus. When it was all -over, she was in pretty fair shape--" - -"Naturally," interpolated the Artist. - -"Excepting that her nerves had got some kind of a shock and she was -robbed permanently of the power of speech." - -"How terrible!" exclaimed the Bride. - -On the trial she sat in the court-room in a close-fitting dress, wearing -a picture hat, and would give a dumb sort of gurgle when Scales would -pitch into her case, as if to protest at being so cruelly assaulted -while defenseless. It was pathetic. - -Bob Fink shed tears, while he pictured to the jury in his opening, the -agony of this beautiful girl set off from her kind for life, as the -preponderance, the clear preponderance of the evidence showed she would -be, by dumbness--"an affliction, gentlemen of the jury, which seals her -lips forever as to the real facts, and stops the reply she could -otherwise make to the dastardly attack of my honorable and learned -friend, the attorney for this public-service corporation, which has been -clothed with the power to take away your land, gentlemen of the jury, or -mine, whether we want to sell it or not, and to rob us of our produce by -its extortionate freight rates, and to run its trains into and through -our cities, and over our busses, and to maim and injure our ladies, and -bring them before juries of their peers, who, unless I mistake, will -administer a stinging rebuke to this corporation without a soul to save -or a body to kick, in the only way in which it can be made to feel a -rebuke--in damages, out of that surplus of tainted dollars which its -evil and illegal practices have wrung from the hard hands of toil as -represented by the farmers and laborers who so largely compose this -highly-intelligent jury." - -"Good spiel," commented the Groom. - -Bob was good until the other side had the reporter begin to take his -speech down, so as to show appeals to passion and prejudice--and then he -hugged the record close. The plaintiff sobbed convulsively. Bob stopped -and swallowed, knowing that the reporter couldn't get the sobs and -swallows into the record. The jurors blew their noses and glared at -Scales and the claim-agent. I went over to the plaintiff and gave her a -drink of water, and would have liked to take her in my arms and comfort -her, but didn't. - -"Too bad!" remarked the Poet. - -Well, the jury found for us in about three hours for the full amount, -ten thousand dollars and costs. They would have agreed earlier, only -they waited so the state would have to pay for their suppers. A judgment -was rendered on the verdict, and the railroad appealed. All this time -Bob was getting more and more tender toward the plaintiff. I didn't -think much about it until cards came for their wedding. I sent Bob an -assignment of my share in the verdict for a wedding present--if we ever -got it. Amelia promised to love, honor and cherish by nodding her head, -and walked away from the altar with her most graceful physical culture -gait, while the boys outside with their shivaree instruments ready for -the evening, sang in unison, "Here comes the bride! Get on to her -stride!" It was a _recherché_ affair--but excessively quiet nuptials on -the bride's side. - -That evening Absalom Scales got in the finest piece of work that was -ever pulled off in any lawsuit in Nebraska. The bridal party went away -over the C. & S. W.Omaha Limited, and Amelia and Bob were there looking -as fine as fiddles--Amelia a picture, they said, in her going-away gown. -Scales had fixed up for a crowd of hoodlums to shivaree them as they -went. - -"Mighty mean trick, I should say," said the Hired Man, "for any one but -a corporation lawyer." - -"Wait, Brother Snoke," protested the Colonel, "until you are so far -advised in the premises as to be able to judge whether the end didn't -justify the means." - -In addition to the horse-fiddles and bells and horns, Absalom had -arranged some private theatricals. He had plugged up a deal by which -Bill Williams, the bus man--who'd sold out and was going to Oregon -anyway--came bursting into the waiting-room while they were waiting for -the train--which was held at the water-tank by Scales' procurement and -covin--and presented a bill for the damages to his bus by the accident -which had hurt Amelia's oratorical powers. You see, he'd never been -settled with, being clearly negligent. They tried to get off in Amelia's -case on the doctrine of imputed negligence, but it wouldn't stick. - -Well, Bill comes in with his claim against Amelia and Bob for two or -three hundred dollars for his bus. They disdainfully gave him the ha-ha. - -"Then," says Bill Williams, "I will tell all, woman!" - -Amelia flushed, and looked inquiringly at Bob. Bob walked up to Bill and -hissed: "What do you mean, you hound, by insulting my wife in this way!" - -"She knows what I mean," yelled Bill, turning on Amelia. "Ask your wife -what she an' I was talkin' about when we was a-crossing the track that -time. Ask her if she didn't say to me that I was the perfec'ly -perportioned physical man, an' whether I didn't think that men an' women -of sech perportions should mate; an' if she didn't make goo-goo eyes at -me, ontil I stuck back my head to kiss her, an' whether she wasn't -a-kissin' me when that freight come a pirootin' down an' run over her -talkin' apparatus! Ask her if she didn't say she could die a-kissin' me, -an' if she didn't come danged near doin' it!" - -"How perfectly horrid!" gasped the Bride. - -Well, Bob Fink was, from all accounts, perfectly flabbergasted. There -stood Bill Williams in his old dogskin coat and a cap that reeked of the -stables, and there stood the fair plaintiff, turning redder and redder -and panting louder and louder as the enormity of the thing grew upon -her. And then she turned loose. - -Amelia Whinnery Fink, defendant in error, and permanently dumb, turned -loose. - -She began doubling up her fists and stamping her feet, and finally she -burst forth into oratory of the most impassioned character. - -"Robert Fink!" she said, as quoted in the motion for a reopening of the -case that Scales filed--"Robert Fink, will you stand by like a coward -and see me insulted? That miserable tramp--a perfect--If you don't kill -him, I will. _I_ kiss him? _I_ ask him such a thing? Bob Fink, do you -expect me to go with you and leave such an insult unavenged? No, no, no, -no--" - -"I don't blame her!" interjected the Bride. - -I guess she'd have gone on stringing negatives together as long as the -depot would have held 'em, if Bob hadn't noticed Ike Witherspoon, the -shorthand reporter, diligently taking down her speech and the names of -those present. Then he twigged, and, hastily knocking Bill down, he -boarded the train with Amelia. He wired me from Fremont that it was all -off with the judgment, as they'd tormented Mrs. Fink into making a -public speech. I answered, collect, bidding him be as happy as he could -in view of the new-found liberty of speech and of the press, and I'd -look after the judgment and the appeal. - -"Well," said the Groom, "of course you got licked in the Supreme Court. -It was clear proof that she'd been shamming." - -"You're about as near right on that as might be expected of a layman," -retorted the Colonel. "Just about. The law is the perfection of human -reason. The jury had found that Amelia Whinnery couldn't speak, and -never would be able to. A jury had rendered a verdict to that effect, -and judgment for ten thousand dollars had been entered upon it. I merely -pointed out to the Supreme Court that they could consider errors in the -record only, and that it was the grossest sort of pettifogging and -ignorance of the law for Absalom Scales to come in and introduce such an -impertinence as evidence--after the evidence was closed--that the fair -plaintiff had been shamming and was, in fact, a very free-spoken lady. -The bench saw the overpowering logic of this, and read my authorities, -and Bob and Amelia will henceforth live in the best house in their town, -built out of the C. & S .W. surplus--and Amelia talking sixteen hours a -day. It's locally regarded as a good joke on the railroad." - -"But was it honest?" queried the Bride. - -"Honest, me lady!" repeated the Colonel, _a la_ Othello. "My dear young -lady, the courts are not to be criticized--ever remember that!" - - * * * * * - -"That makes me think," said the Hired Man, "of the darndest thing--" - -"In that case," said the Poet, "your name will be considered drawn for -the next number. Save this darndest thing for its own occasion--which -will be at our next camp. Oneiros beckons, and I go." - -"In that case," said Aconite, "I'd go, you bet!" - - - - -CHAPTER IX - - -Coming in from the right as they took the open trail again, the Cody -Road beckoned them eastward, as a side road always beckons to the true -wanderer. - -"What does it run to?" asked the Groom. - -"Wyoming," responded Aconite. "It's nothing but scenery and -curiosities." - -"Let's follow it a little way," suggested the Bride, "and see how we -like it" - -Three miles or so on the way, the surrey halted at a beautiful little -lake, which lay like a fragment broken off Yellowstone Lake, the shore -of which lay only a stone's throw to the right. They walked over to the -big lake to bid it farewell. A score of miles to the south lay Frank -Island, and still farther away, shut off by the fringe of rain from a -thunder shower, the South Arm seemed to run in behind Chicken Ridge and -take to the woods. To the southwest stood Mount Sheridan, and peeping -over his shoulder the towering Tetons solemnly refused even to glimmer -a good-by. - -"For all that," said the Bride, "_au revoir_! We'll come back one of -these days, won't we, Billy?" - -"Sure!" said Billy. "I'm coming up to put in a power plant in the Grand -Cañon, one of these days. This scenery lacks the refining touch of the -spillway and the penstock!" - -Fifteen minutes' driving brought them to the second halt, a big basin of -water, from which steam issued in a myriad of vents. Aconite suggested -that they stroll down to the beach and take a look at the water. They -found it in a slow turmoil, the mud rising from the bottom in little -fountains of turbidity, the whole effect being that which might be -expected if some mud-eating giant were watching his evening porridge, -expecting it momentarily to boil. - -"I don't care much for this," said the Bride. - -"I'm not crazy about it myself," assented the Artist. - -"What's the next marvel?" asked the Colonel. - -"Wedded trees," said Aconite. - -"Getting sated with 'em," said the Poet. - -"Apollinaris Springs, Sylvan Lake, fine views of Yellowstone Lake and -the mountains, bully rocks and things clear to Cody." - -"And on the other hand," said the Professor, "what are the features on -the regular road from which we have diverged?" - -"Everything you come to see," responded Aconite. "Mud Volcano, with a -clear spring in the grotto right by it; Mud Geyser, off watch for a year -or more; Trout Creek, doubled around into the N.P. trade-mark; Sulphur -Mountain--we can camp right near there, and see it in the morning, when -we ought to see it--and on beyond, the Grand Cañon and everything. -Besides--unless we go that-a-way, we'll never git back unless we come by -the Burlington around by Toluca and Billings. Of course, it's all the -same to me--I don't keer if we never go back or git anywhere. I'm havin' -a good time." - -"Turn the plugs around," said the Colonel. - -In half an hour or so they were back on the great north road again. The -horses seemed to feel the pull of the stable--still days ahead, for they -trotted briskly along, while the tourists gazed with sated eyes on the -beautiful Yellowstone River on the right hand, its pools splashing with -the plunges of the great trout; and on their left the charming mountain -scenery. Even the grotesque Mud Volcano, with its suggestions of the -horrible and uncouth, failed to elicit the screams from the Bride, or -the ejaculations of amazement from the men which characterized their -deliverances earlier in the journey. Entering Hayden Valley, they were -delighted at the sight in the middle distance of a dozen or more -buffaloes, which held up their heads for a long look, and disappeared -into the bushes. Not ten minutes later, fifty or sixty elk walked down -to the Yellowstone to drink, crossing the road within a minute of the -tourists' passage. Aconite pulled up in the shadow of Sulphur Mountain, -the Hired Man, with the assistance of the party, soon had a fine fire -blazing, and presently a pan of trout, hooked by the Bride, the Groom, -the Artist and the Poet, and dressed by the skilful Aconite, were doing -to a turn on the skillet. - -The Hired Man, realizing that he was under obligation to tell his -version of the "darndest thing" in his experience, was solemn, as befits -a public performer. When the psychological moment was proclaimed by the -falling down into a roseate pile of coals of the last log for the -night, he discharged his duty and told this unimportant tale: - - -HENRY PETERS'S SIGNATURE - -THE HIRED MAN'S SECOND TALE - -The Colonel's story of how the law and the courts work, reminded me of -what happened to old Hen Peters and his forty-second nephew, Hank. It -all arose from a debate at the literary at the Bollinger school-house -back in Iowa. - -You see, old Hen's girl Fanny come home from the State Normal at Cedar -Falls as full of social uplift as a yeast-cake, and framed up this -literary. It was a lulu of a society, and nights when the sledding was -good, the teams just surrounded the lot, and the bells jingled as -uplifting as you could ask. - -The night of the scrap Hank brought Fanny. The debate was on which was -the most terrible scourge, fire or water. Hank was on the negative, and -Fanny's father on the affirmative. Old Hen spoke of the way prairie -fires devastated things in an early day, and read history, and gave a -beautiful tribute to the Chicago fire and the O'Leary cow. Hank coughed -with the dust kicked up when Hen sat down, but he got back with a -rhapsody on the Hoang-Ho floods, and the wet season in Noah's time. He -said that his honorable opponent ought to take a moment or two from time -to time to ascertain the properties of water as a scourge, as an inward -remedy, and as a lotion. - -Now besides having an appetite for red-eye, old Hen was whiskery and -woolly-necked, and handling lots of tame hay, he looked sort of -unwashed. So the crowd yelled shameful and laughed; and when Hen got up -to answer, he was so mad his whiskers stood out like a rooster's hackle, -his words came out in a string like, all lapped on one another, and -blurred, and linked together so you couldn't tell one from the other; -and finally they reversed on the bobbin, and gigged back into his -system, and rumbled and reverberated around in him like a flock of wild -cattle loose in an empty barn; and the crowd got one of those giggly -fits when every one makes the other laugh till they are sore and sick. -Asa Wagstaff fell backward out of a window on to a hitching-post, and -made Brad Phelps' team break loose. Old Hen stood shaking his fist at -them and turning so red in the face that he got blue, and sat down -without saying a syllable that any one could understand. You could hear -folks hollering and screaming in fits of that laughing disease going -home, and getting out and rolling in the snow because they were in -agony, and nothing but rolling would touch the spot. But old Hen Peters -seemed to be immune. - -Now, in a debate, no man is supposed to have friends or relations, and -he floors his man with anything that comes handy, and Hank never dreamed -that Hen would hold hardness when he got over his mad fit. Hank and -Fanny had things all fixed up, and had been pricing things at the Banner -Store, and sitting up as late as two o'clock; but the next Sunday night -she met him at the door and told him maybe he'd better not come into the -sitting-room till her pa cooled off. Hank was knocked off his feet, and -they stood out in the hall talking sort of tragic until old Hen yelled -"Fanny!" from the sitting-room, and they pretty near jumped out of their -skins, and stood farther apart, and Fanny went in. In the spring there -was a row over the line fence, ending in a devil's lane. Fanny looked -pretty blue, only when she was fighting with her pa. Hen would lecture -about the two Peters brothers that came across in 1720, and how all -Peterses that were not descended from them were Nimshies and impostors. -"I despise and hate," says he, "a Nimshi and an impostor." - -Then Fanny would shoot back a remark about the Iowa _Herald's_ college, -and when was her pa going to paint the Peters coat-of-arms on the -hay-rake and the hog-house, using sarcasm that no man could understand -after being out of school as long as her father had been. Sometimes the -old man would forget the spurious registry of the Hank family in the -Peters herd-book, and would argue that relations, even the most remote -and back-fence kind, ought to be prosecuted if they even dreamed of -marrying; and then Fanny would say that it is such a pleasure to know -that folks are not always related when they claim to be. Hen would then -cuss me for not taking care of my horses' shoulders or something, and -things would get no better rapidly. - -Young folks need to meet once in a while in order to keep right with -each other, and Jim Miller and I often spoke of the way old Hen was -splitting Hank and Fanny apart. Then an Illinois man come out and bought -Hank out at a hundred an acre, and Hank wadded his money into his -pocket, and bid good-by to the neighborhood for good and all. He never -crossed the township line again. Fanny flirted like sixty, and cried -when she was alone; but old Hen was as tickled as a colt. - -It seemed like a judgment on Hen for driving as good a man as Hank to -Dakota to have Fillmore Smythe begin yelping on his trail. His first -yelp was a letter, asking Hen to call and pay a three-hundred-dollar -note Fillmore had for collection. And here's where the law begins to -seep into the story. Hen had Fanny type-write a scorching answer, saying -that Hen Peters had discounted his bills since before Fillmore Smythe -was unfortunately born, and didn't owe no man a cent; and Hen was so mad -that he kicked a fifty-dollar collie pup, and hurt its feelings so it -never would work, but went to killing young pigs and sheep the way a -collie will if you ever sour their nature by licking them. Funny about -collies. - -One day old Hen come in from the silo, and saw Fillmore Smythe's team -tied at the gate, and Fillmore sitting with Fanny on the stoop, reading -_Lucile_. - -"I hope I see you well, Mr. Peters," said the lawyer, kind of -smooth-like. - -"None the better for seein' you, sir," said Hen, jamming his mouth shut -when he got through so his mustache and whiskers were all inserted into -each other. - -Now this was no way to treat a person from town, and Fanny began saying -how wonderful the sunset was last night, and asking did he ever see the -moon-vine flowers pop out in bloom in the gloaming, and to curb her neck -and step high the way they do when they're bitted in college. - -"Any partic'lar business here?" asked old Hen. - -"Ah, yes!" said Smythe. "In addition to the pleasure of seeing you and -your accomplished family, I desired a conference as to the curious way -in which that little note--" - -"Well, now that you've seen my accomplished family as much as I want you -to," growled Hen, "you can git. I told you all I'm goin' to about what -you call my note." - -"But," said Fillmore, sort of like he was currying a kicking mule, "if -you'd consent to look at it, I'm sure it would all return to your mind!" - -Hen fired him off the place, though, and he sued Hen. The old man was -affected a good deal like the collie pup, and mulled it over, and got -sour on the world, especially lawyers that blackmailed and forged. He -said he knew well enough that Smythe either did it or knew who did, and -that every lawyer ought to be hung. I argued for imprisonment for the -first offense for a no-account lawyer like Smythe, with a life sentence -if it was proved that he knew any law, and the death penalty for good -lawyers like Judge McKenzie; and Hen was so mad at me for what I said -that he wouldn't let me have the top buggy the next Sunday night when I -needed it the worst way. - -The big doings come off when the case came up to be tried. I quit -hauling ensilage corn, and went with Fanny and the old folks up to the -county seat to give testimony that Hen never signed that note. Fanny -stayed with Phoebe Relyea; but the rest of us stopped at the -Accidental Hotel, where most of the jurors and others tangled up in -court stayed too. - -The lawyer in the case ahead of us was a new-comer, and strung it out -day after day to advertise himself, and yelled so you could hear him -over in the band-stand, to show his ability. Hen, all the time, was -getting more and more morbid, and forgot his temperance vows, and tried -to talk about the case to everybody. About half the time it would be a -juryman he would try to confide in, and this made trouble on account of -their thinking he was trying to influence them. One night Hen was owly -as sin, drinking with Walker Swayne from Pleasant Valley Township; and -when he cried into his beer because Fillmore Smythe was trying to -swindle him and blast his good name, Walker slapped him for approaching -him on a case he might be called to sit on. I put Hen to bed at the -Revere House, and told Mrs. Peters he'd been called home. She 'phoned -out to have him count the young turkeys, and the Swede second man had no -more sense than to say he had not been there, instead of placing him -where they had no telephone, as an honest hired man with any sprawl -would have done. You couldn't trust this Swede as far as you could throw -a thesaurus by the tail. I am not saying that he was corrupt; but he was -just thumb-hand-sided and lummoxy, and blurted, "Hae ain't bane hare" -into the transmitter with never a thought of the danger of telling the -truth. Mrs. Peters didn't know what to be distressed about, and just -because I'm paid the princely salary I get for saying nothing about such -things, she jumped on me like a duck on a June-bug. - -When Hen and I went to McKenzie's office the night before our case came -up, the lawyer was worried. He asked us if we knew who was going to -testify against us. - -"No," snapped Hen; "an' I don't care. Nobody ever saw me sign that note, -and it don't make any matter." - -Then he went on to tell what great friends he and Judge Brockway used to -be, when the judge used to shoot prairie-chickens in Hen's stubble, and -Mrs. Peters cooked the chickens for the judge. - -"Brockway thinks as much of me as a brother," said Hen. "He told me as -much when he was running for judge. He won't see me stuck." - -This didn't seem to impress Judge McKenzie much. He still looked -worried, and said the other side had got every banker in town on their -side as handwriting experts. - -"I don't like the looks of things," said he. - -Hen flew mad at the idea of his lawyer's hinting that any man could get -stuck in such a case. The judge tried to explain, and Hen asked him how -much the other side was paying him, and the judge threw up his job. -Pretty soon, though, Hen got him to take a new retainer of fifteen -dollars, and he opened a new account in his books. This made Hen feel -good, for the judge was great with juries when he was sober. He was -good and sober now, for he had just taken the drinking cure for the -third time. We had lots of faith in Providence and McKenzie, but were -scary as three-year-olds that night at any strange noise in the brush. -You know how it is when you feel that way. - -Things went wrong the next morning. So many of the jurors said that Hen -had talked to them that Judge Brockway just glared at Hen, and said that -the court was not favorably impressed by tactics of that sort. - -Walker Swayne told how he had slapped Hen's chops to drive off his -improper advances, and Judge Brockway said that he could not condone -breaches of the peace; but a juror, like a woman, was justified if any -one; and when old Hen asked Mac for the Lord's sake, were there any -women sitting on this case, Brockway wilted Hen again with a look. - -I asked Hen at recess if he thought Brockway would ask him as a friend -and brother to sit up on the bench, and he flared up and said Brock was -all right, but was disguising his feelings as a judge. - -"He's got a disguise that's a bird," said I, and Hen said I might -consider myself discharged; but wrote me a note after court took up, -hiring me back. - -The next juror up related another case of Hen's vile tactics, and the -judge threatened to send him to jail if anything more bobbed up. Hen -fell back into his chair limpsy, like dropping a wet string,--all spiral -like,--and everybody looked at us in horror for our pollyfoxing with the -jury. As a matter of fact, in his state of beer and overconfidingness, -Hen would have wept on the breast of a wooden Indian that would have -held still while he told of the octopus and its forgeries. In all the -time I worked for him, he never tried once to destroy the jury system or -his country's liberty. - -Finally they found twelve men that didn't know anything about the case -or anything, and had no opinions or prejudices for or against anything, -and the lawyers told the jury what they expected to prove. - -"The sacred system of trial by jury," said Fillmore Smythe, "has been -saved from the attacks of the defendant by an incorruptible court. -Placed on trial before this intelligent jury, what the defendant may do -I can not even guess; but we have here in court his note, signed in his -own proper person." - -"'T ain't so!" busted out Hen, in his own improper person. "You hain't -got no such note!" - -"One more interruption of this sort," said the judge, peeking down at -Hen, "and the example that I'll make of _you_ won't soon be forgotten. -Proceed, Mr. Smythe!" - -"Concealing his love!" whispers I to Hen; and he put the leg of his -chair on my foot and ground it around till I almost yelled. - -When they had marked the note "Exhibit A" the way they do, Smythe said -"Plaintiff rests," though they didn't seem near as tired as our side -was, and the court let out for noon. They let McKenzie take the note -with him to look at. There it was on one of those blanks that it cost me -a good claim in Kansas once to practise writing on, and I never got to -be much of a penman either; it was signed "Henry Peters" as natural as -life. - -"Well," questioned Mac, as Hen turned it over, "what do you say to it, -Henry?" - -I could feel that all the time McKenzie had had a hunch that Hen had -really signed the note, and Hen felt it, too, and he threw to the winds -the remains of his last conversion, and his fear that Mac would strike -again, and talked as bad as if he was learning a calf to drink. - -"Why, you scoundrelly Keeley graduate," he yelled, "what did I tell -you! That's a forgery, as any one but a half-witted pettifogger could -see by lookin' at it!" - -"I sever my connection with this case right now," said Mac, away down in -his chest, and as dignified as a ring-master. "No inebriated litigant -can refer to the struggle and expense I have incurred in lifting myself -to a nobler plane of self-control, and then call for my skill and -erudition in extricating him from the quagmire of the law in which his -imprudences have immeshed him. Go, sir, to some practitioner so far lost -to manhood as to be able to resist the temptation to brain you with his -notary-public's seal. Leave me to my books!" - -Mac went into the next room and shut the door, but did not lock it. - -"I can see," said Colonel Baggs, "the wisdom of leaving it on the -latch." - -I took and apologized for Hen; but Mac stuck his nose in a book and -waved me away. If Hen had been a little drunker he would have cried; and -I went back to woo McKenzie some more. Finally, he agreed to come into -the case again, on payment of another retainer fee of twenty dollars. -Hen was game, and skinned a double-X off his roll without a flinch. Mac -opened up a new account in his books, and Hen, for my successful -diplomacy, raised my wages two dollars a month. It was a great lesson to -me. - -Of course I could see that it was not Hen's signature; for his way of -writing was Spencerian, modified by handling a fork, shucking corn, and -by the ink drying up while he was thinking. The name on the note was -kind of backhand. Mac asked about other Henry Peterses, and Hen told him -that there was a man that passed by that name in the county a year or so -back, but that he never had credit for three hundred cents, never bought -any such machinery, and had escaped to Dakota. - -When old Hen testified, he had one of his spluttery spells of reverse -English caused by his language getting wound on the shafting, and his -denying the signature didn't seem to make much impression on any one. -Smythe made him admit that he had bought the tools, and had no -check-stub of the payment; and when he said he paid Bloxham in cash, -Smythe laid back and grinned, and McKenzie moved that the grin be took -down by the reporter, so he could move to strike it out. - -Everybody just seemed to despise us but Mac; and I was as ashamed as a -dog. This Bloxham, the machine agent, was dead, and most everybody there -had been to his funeral; but it took half an hour to prove his demise. -Two jurors went to sleep on this, and one of them hollered "Whay! whay!" -in his sleep, like he was driving stock, and Brockway pounded and glared -at _us_ for it. I wished I was back with Ole running the silage cutter. - -All this time we kind of lost sight of Mrs. Peters and Fanny. Fanny sent -some word over to the Accidental the second evening, and her mother went -over to Relyea's, and came back kind of fluttery. I was sent to Fanny -with a suit-case of dresses her mother had there, and Fanny was in the -awfullest taking with blushing and her breath fluttering like a -fanning-mill with palpitation of the heart that I couldn't think what -was the matter with her. She had never blushed at seeing me before. I -began to see what a pretty girl she was; but I couldn't think of tying -myself down, even if she did. She came up close to me, shook hands with -me, and bid me good-by when I came away. This was a sign she wanted to -hold some one's hand or was going away; and I knew she wasn't expected -to go away. It set me to thinking. Mac said he wouldn't want her -testimony until the surrey-butter part, if then. I made up my mind I'd -go up and talk with her once in a while, instead of sticking around -down-town. But this trial absorbed my attention when the experts came -on. - -Smythe had had a magnification made of the name on the note, and the one -on old Hen's letter, and every banker in town went on and swore about -these names. John Smythe, Fillmore's half-brother, knew Hen's signature; -and had had to study handwriting so hard in the bank that he had got to -be an expert. He was always thought a kind of a ninny, but here's where -he sure did loom up with the knowledge. He acted just as smart as those -Chicago experts we read about, and living right here in the county all -the time, and never out of the bank a day! A good deal of my ability -comes from dropping into some big city like Fort Dodge or Ottumwa, or -maybe Sioux City, or Des Moines every winter, and getting on to the new -wrinkles and broadening out; but John Smythe was always behind that -brass railing, like a cow in stanchions. And yet he was able to see that -those two signatures just had to be made by the same man. This spiel was -cutting ice with the jury, and Mac roared and pointed out where they -were different; but Smythe hinted that it only seemed so because Mac was -ignorant. He could just see the same man a-making them--the way the stem -of the "P" was made, and the finish of the "y" like a pollywog's tail -made it a cinch. Hen swore under his powerful breath that it was a -dad-burned lie; but it looked awful plausible to me. - -"You notice," said Fillmore, "that the name on the letter is more -scrawly and uneven?" - -"Yes," said John, "but that merely means that he used a different pen or -was nervous. I think I see in the last the characteristic tremor of -anger." - -This looked bad to me, for if ever a man had a right to the -characteristic tremor of anger, it was old Hen when he signed that -letter. It showed Smythe knew what he was at. - -Mac showed them a lot of Hen's real signatures, but the experts said -they only made it clearer. Every one had a little curlicue or funny -business that put Hen deeper in the hole; and he finally chucked the -bunch, all the reporter didn't have, in the stove. Fillmore Smythe -inflated himself and blew up at this; but Brockway, still concealing his -love, said that while it looked bad, and the jury might consider this -destruction of evidence as one of the facts, the papers belonged to -defendant and the court didn't see fit to do anything. Our case looked -as bad as it could, and I didn't see why Smythe hollered so about it. -The jury looked on us as horse-thieves and crooks, and every time old -Hen stepped, he balled things up worse. - -Whitten, of the First National, was stronger than John Smythe. He said -it was physically impossible for any man but the one that signed the -letter to have made that note; and he was an expert from away back. He -pointed out the anger tremor, too. Mac showed him how the -check-signatures all looked like that on the letter, and not like the -one on the note; but Whitten said a man was always calm when he made a -note, and mad as a hatter when he drew a check. Knowing Hen, this looked -plausible to me, and made a hit with the jury. The man that hollered -"Whay!" wrote it down on his cuff. - -Ole Pete Hungerford, the note-shaver, snorted disdainfully that there -was no doubt that the note was genuine. He swore that a bogus check I -made was genuine, too; and got redder than a turkey when he found I had -made it, and said it was the work of a skilful forger. The man that -hollered "Whay!" looked at me in horror, and wrote some more on his -cuff. I felt considerable cheap. - -Every expert said the same thing. I believe that there was one while -when Hen would have admitted he signed the note if they had called him -and raw-hided him enough. Hen had some hopes when Zenas Whitcher of the -Farmers' Bank had some doubts about one signature; but he flattened out -again when he found it was the one on the letter that had old Zenas -guessing, and that he was dead sure the one on the note was a -sure-enough genuine sig, only it looked as if he was trying to disguise -his hand. Fillmore seemed to think pretty well of this, and had them all -go back and swear about this disguise business. They could all see -wiggly spots now and places gone over twice where Hen had doubled on his -trail to throw pursuers off the track and disguise his hand. It begun to -look to me like Hen was up to some skulduggery,--all these smooth guys -swearing like that,--but Hen was paying me my wages and needed friends, -and I stuck. He looked down his nose like an egg-sucking pup. When I -came on to swear that it was not Hen's signature on the note, my mind -was so full of curlicues and polly-wogs' tails, and anger tremors, and -disguises, and the gall of my swearing against these big men that had -money to burn, that I went into buck fever, and was all shot to rags by -Smythe's cross-examination,--any of you fellows would be,--so that I -finally admitted that the note looked pretty good to me, and that I'd -have probably taken it for Hen's note if I'd been a banker and had it -offered to me. Mac threw up his hands, said that was all our evidence, -then went at the jury hammer and tongs, and I looked at poor old Hen all -collapsed down into his chair like a rubber snake, and I went and hid. - -In the morning I crawled out, supposing that it would all be over, and -wondering where I'd find Hen; but I heard Judge McKenzie's closing -argument rolling out of the court-house windows like thunder. I didn't -care for eloquence the way I was feeling, and was just sneaking away, -when who should I run on to but Fanny walking with a fellow down under -the maples. I was shocked, for she was hanging to his arm the way no -nice girl ought to do unless it's dark. I trailed along behind to see -who it was, when the fellow turned his head quick, and I saw it was -Hank. They come up to me, Fanny still shamelessly hanging to his arm, -looking excited and foolish, like they had just experienced religion or -got engaged. - -"Doc," said Hank, "we've just found out about it!" - -"I've knowed it a long time," said I coldly. "What is it?" - -"This lawsuit," said Hank--"is it over, or still running?" - -"It's still running," I said. "Listen at the machinery rumble up there. -It's all over but the shouting, and we've got a man hired to do that. -Why?" - -They never said a word, but scooted up the stairs. I strolled in and -found Mac's machinery throwed out of gear by Hank's interruption. Hen -was still collapsed, and didn't see Hank. Mac turned grandly to the -judge, and told him that a witness he had been laboring to secure the -attendance of from outside the jurisdiction had blowed in, and he wanted -the case reopened. Smythe rose buoyantly into the air and hooted, but -Brockway coldly reopened the case, and Hank was sworn. The juror that -wrote on his cuff looked disgusted, but he wrote Hank's name and age -with the rest of his notes. - -"Where do you live?" asked Mac. - -"South Dakota," answered Hank. - -"Examine 'Exhibit A,'" said Mac proudly, handing Hank the note, "and -tell the jury when if ever you have seen it before!" - -"When it was signed," said Hank. - -Old Hen kind of straightened up. Fanny sat down by him, and put her arm -about him. She sure did look pretty. - -"Who signed that note?" asked Mac, with his voice swelling like a double -B-flat bass tuba. - -"I did," answered Hank. - -"I object," yelled Smythe, trembling like a leaf. - -"Overruled," said Brockway in a kind of tired way. - -"Do you owe this note?" asked Mac. - -"You bet I do," answered Hank, "and got the money to pay it. I went to -Dakota and forgot about the darned note. Bloxham shipped the machinery -out there to me. It's my note all right; Hen Peters never saw it till -Smythe got it." - -The room was full of wilted experts. This did not appeal to them at all. -McKenzie laughed fiendishly, as if he'd had this thing arranged all the -time. The jury looked foolish, all but the one that hollered "Whay!" -and he looked mad. I could see Hen reviving, and throwing off his -grouch at Hank. Fillmore Smythe said he had a question or two in -cross-examination. - -"What kin are you to the defendant?" he asked. - -"That's a disputed point," replied Hank. "I dunno's I'm any by blood." - -"Are you not related to him in any way?" asked Fillmore, prying into -things the way they do. - -"You bet I am," spoke up Hank, looking over at Fanny, and getting red in -the face. "He don't know about it; but since night before last I've been -his son-in-law." - - - - -CHAPTER X - - -It was in camp at Sulphur Mountain that the Artist's fate overtook him. -The gods pulled his name from the hat by the hard hand of the Hired Man. -This mystic event overshadowed the visit to Sulphur Spring--though that -was in every respect a success. It was timed so as to give them the last -of the dawn--the splendid flood of rare light which precedes the first -cast of his noose by the Hunter of the East--and both eye and camera -caught beautifully the myriads of steam spirals ascending from the hill, -each from its own vent. The spring itself, the Poet compared to the -daily press, in that it made a mighty and unceasing pother and dribbled -out a mighty small amount of run-off--and that the output stained -everything with which it came in contact a bright yellow. - -"No matter what it splashes," said he, "stick or stone, church, family -or court, it yellows it." - -"Speaking of courts," said the Artist, "and the law--I think our -friends the Colonel and Bill have dealt altogether too flippantly with -them. I shall give you another view to-night." - - * * * * * - -"Do you notice," said the Bride, "how peaceful and sort of comforting -the river is? It is as placid as a lake--or some deep river--like the -Thames--made for pleasure boats and freighters." - -"See the trout leap!" shouted the Colonel. - -"Well," said Aconite, "you jest watch that river, an' it'll surprise -yeh. It ain't reformed yit, if it hez sobered up. An' right here--Whoa!" - -They were at the crossing of Alum Creek, and Aconite halted to point out -matters of interest. - -"Right hyar," said he, "or in this vicinity, took place one of the most -curious things that ever happened to Old Jim Bridger. This crick is all -alum, 'specially up at the head. Over yon"--pointing to the eastern bank -of the Yellowstone with his whip--"is a stream named Sour Crick comin' -in from the east. It's one or the other of these cricks, 'r one of the -same kind, that Old Jim Bridger was obliged to go up f'r three days on -his bronk, one time. It was a long trip. But on the way back he noticed -that the crick had flooded the country, an' gone down ag'in, an' it -seemed to him that he was makin' better time than goin' up. The hills -that was low an' rounded when he went up, looked to him steeper, and -higher, an' more clustered than they was. He didn't believe this could -be, an' wondered how folks' minds acted when they was goin' crazy. -Finely, he found his first camp, after he had been on the back track -only half a day. He couldn't understand how he could've made the -distance in four hours that it took two days to cover comin' up, and -begun to get the Willies. He come to a bottom that had scattered trees -on comin' up, and it was timbered so thick now that he couldn't go -through it--but it wa'n't furder through than a hedge fence. Then he -noticed that his bronk was hobblin', and observed that his hooves was -drawed down to mere points, but good-shaped hoss's hooves all the -same--they was just little, like the hooves of a toy hoss. At last he -come to a place whar there had been two great boulders that had been -forty rods apart when he went up--he knowed 'em by marks he had made on -'em in his explorin' around--an' danged if they wasn't jammed up agin' -each other so's they touched both stirrups when he rode through between -'em. An' there he was back whar he started from in a little more'n half -a day. He got to studyin' it over, an' found that this crick of alum -water had over-flowed and jest puckered the scenery up, so that the -distances to anywhere along its valley was shrunk up to most nothin'!" - -The Hired Man looked away off to the east, and mentioned that the -fish-hawks were thick this morning. The Bride giggled a very slight -giggle--but the others were impassive. They seemed to be absorbing some -of the taciturnity of the Indian. In the meantime the river did begin to -surprise them. After miles of deep quiet, its valley walls began to -crowd together. - -"Somebody has been sprinkling alum on this scenery," suggested the -Colonel--"eh, Aconite?" - -Aconite clucked solemnly to the team. - -The road was forced to the very edge of the bank. The river became -mildly excited, as if in protest at the constriction. The road grew -wilder and the landscape more rugged; and suddenly, the river, tortured -by the pressure of the narrow trench provided for it, began raging and -foaming, and sending up a hoarse roar, which grew upon them like an -approaching tempest. The road trod first a narrow shelf above the -terrific rapids, and then a bridge hung like a stretched rope over an -awesome abyss. For half a mile the tumult below grew, until it seemed as -if water could bear no more--when suddenly the river, just now ravening -through a mere fifty-foot crack in the rocks, was gone. It turned -abruptly away from the road, and fell away into space. They had passed -the Upper Falls, where the Yellowstone, in a great spouting curve drops -a sheer hundred and twelve feet in a curtain of white water, and sends -up from the bottom of the cañon its hymn to liberty, in a cloud of mist. - -They were no longer the tired sight-seers, with jaded senses; for this -was new. They felt the thrill of power. And as they passed on, promising -themselves a return when camp should be made, they cried out in delight -as the Grand Cañon of the Yellowstone displayed the stupendous sluiceway -into which the river had fallen. At their feet the lovely Crystal Falls -of Cascade Creek played exquisitely, almost unnoted. The roar of the -falls followed them to the Cañon Hotel near which they camped, and -leaving the pitching of the tents to the men, they walked to the brink -of the cañon, and gazed upon the most perfect scene, perhaps, that -water, in its flow to the sea, has anywhere sculptured and painted to -delight the eye of man. The Yosemite has greater heights; the Colorado -offers huger dimensions, the Niagara or the Victoria possess mightier -cataracts; but nowhere else is there such a riot of color, such dizzy -heights, such glooming verdure, and such mad waters, united in one -surpassingly splendid scenic whole. - -They saw it all--that day, and subsequent days. They lingered as though -unable to leave at all. They revisited the Upper Falls before seeing the -lower, so as to view them in fairness and with no injustice to what -seemed unsurpassable beauty. - -"And now," said the Bride, "take me to the greater falls." - -It was as if she had seen all but the Holy of Holies, and felt the -exaltation suitable for higher things. - -They were amazed at the tremendous plunge of more than three hundred -feet which their river (as they now called it) made at the Lower -Falls--even to the foot of which they descended. They looked from -Inspiration Point, from Artist's Point, from Lookout Point. They watched -the stream dwarfed by distance to a trickle, and strangely silent, as it -wandered at the bottom of the gorge. - -And at last the time came to leave. Early in the morning they were to -start; and the last camp-fire was smoldering to ashes on that last night -when the Artist found his audience collected, the demand for payment of -his obligation presented; and without preface, save the statement that -his was the story of a young fool, told his tale. - - -THE RETURN OF JOHN SMITH - -THE STORY NARRATED BY THE ARTIST - -His name was John Smith, but he was not otherwise unworthy of notice. -Out of her vast, tempestuous experience Blanche Slattery admitted this -as she swept into the offices and looked down at the boy, noting the -curl in his hair which speaks of the hidden vein of vanity, the wide -blue eyes which told of a stratum of mysticism, the unsubdued brawn of -hand and wrist which reminded her more of harvests than of field-meets, -the mouth closely shut in purposeful attention to one Mr. Thompson's -_Commentaries on the Law of Corporations_. - -He thought her the stenographer and kept his eyes on the page. She laid -a card on his desk--a card at which he looked with some attention -before rising to meet her eyes with his own, which dilated in a sort of -horror, as she thought. Her cheek actually burned, though it grew no -redder, as she turned aside with the crisp statement of her business. - -"I want to see Judge Thornton," she said. - -Without a word John Smith pushed a button and listened at a telephone. -The judge took his time as usual, and John gazed at the Slattery person -with the receiver pressed against his ear. She was powdered and painted; -the full corsage of her dress glittered with passementerie; in her form -the latest fad was exaggerated into a reminiscence of medieval -torturing-devices. Through the enamel of her skin dark crescents showed -under her great black eyes, the whites of which were mottled here and -there with specks of red. The once sweet lips had lost their softness of -curve with their vermeil tincture and had fallen into hard repose. - -John knew her profession and how she dominated her world of saddest -hilarity--a world which through all mutations of time and institutions -persists as on that day when Samson went to Gaza. He felt that there -emanated from her a sort of authority, like a sinister manifestation of -the atmosphere surrounding men of power and sway--as though by dark and -devious ways this soul, too, had carved out a realm in which it darkly -reigned. She wondered, when he spoke, whether the softness in his voice -were for her or whether it were merely a thing of habit. - -"Judge Thornton is sorry that he can not see you this morning," he said. -"Between ten and eleven to-morrow if it is convenient for you--" - -"All right," she said. "I'll be here at half-past ten. Good morning!" - -The perfume of her presence, the rustling of her departure, the husky -depth of her voice haunting his memory, the vast vistas through which -the mind of the country boy fared forth venturesomely, impelled by the -new contacts of this town in which he had undertaken to scale the -citadel of professional success--all these militated against the sober -enticements of the law of corporations; and when Judge Thornton entered -unheard, John Smith started as though detected in some offense. - -"The law," said the judge, launching the hoary quotation, "is a jealous -mistress." - -John Smith blushed, but saw no lodgment for a denial where there was no -accusation. He had been allowing his thoughts to go wool-gathering; but -now he began questioning the judge on the doctrine of the rights of -minority stock-holders. The judge condescended to a five-minute lecture -which would have been costly had it been given for a client before the -court. In the midst of the talk there bustled in a young man--a boy, in -fact, who accosted the lawyer familiarly. - -"Just a minute, Judge. About that mass-meeting Tuesday--I'm Johnson of -the _News_, you know. Will you speak?" - -"I don't think the readers of the _News_ are lying awake about it," -answered the judge, looking at the boy amusedly. "But my present -intentions go no further than to attend the meeting." - -"What about the movement for cheaper gas?" asked the reporter. "Will the -meeting start anything?" - -"The meeting," said the judge, "will be a law unto itself." - -"Sure," replied Johnson of the _News_. "But a word from you as to the -extortions of the gas company--" - -"Will be addressed to the meeting--if I have any," said the judge. -"I--" - -"Oh, all right!" interrupted the boy. "That's what I wanted! Good-by!" - -John Smith's amazement at the boy's self-possession and ready, impudent -effrontery, passed away in a visualization of Judge Thornton's big, -strong figure at the meeting, fulminating against oppression--the -oppression of to-day--as did Patrick Henry and James Otis against the -wrongs of their times. Now, as of old, thought John Smith, the lawyer is -a public officer, charged with public duties, alert to do battle with -any tyrant or robber. He flushed with pleasure at this conception of the -greatness of the profession. - -"As a science," said the judge, as though in answer to John's thought, -"it's the greatest field of the intellect. It's the practice that's -laborious and full of compromises." - -"Yes," said John Smith, lamenting the interrupted lecture on the rights -of minority stock-holders. Judge Thornton had donned his coat and his -hat. - -"I'm off for the day. Good day to you--oh, I almost forgot. Do you want -to hear a paper on _King Lear_ to-night? Nellie thought you might. Poor -paper--but you'll meet people, and that's a part of the game." - -"Oh, yes!" cried John. "I'd be glad to!" - -"Come to the house about eight," said the judge, "and go with Nellie and -me." - -Ah, this was living! Why, at home he knew scarcely a person who had read -more of Shakespeare than the quarrel scene in the Fifth Reader. Surely -it was good fortune that had made his father and Judge Thornton -playmates in boyhood. And to go with Nellie Thornton, too! - -"Paint out that sign!" he heard some one say. "And what goes in the -place of it, sir?" asked the painter. "'Thornton & Smith,'" replied the -judge's voice. "My son-in-law, Mr. Smith, has been taken into the firm." - -The stenographer saw exaltation in his face as he closed the safe, bade -her good night and went home. - -As he sat beside Nellie that evening, he remembered the fancied colloquy -between her father and the imaginary painter, and shuddered as he -contemplated the possibility of thought-transference and of its ruinous -potentialities. As a protection against telepathy he gave his whole -attention to Judge Thornton's paper on _Lear_. The indescribable agony -of the old king's frenzy, the whirling tempest of the tragedy in which -he wandered to his doom clutched at the boy's heart. The wolfish -Goneril and Regan, the sweet Cordelia, the bared gray head, the storm, -the night--By some occult warning John Smith knew that Nellie was not -pleased with his absorption, and that the discussion had begun. - -"This treatment is _so_ original," said the lady president. "Everybody -must be full of questions. Now let us have a perfectly free -discussion--don't wait to be called upon, please!" - -To John Smith the lady president seemed enthusiasm personified; yet only -a few people rose, and these merely said how much they had enjoyed the -paper. John Smith could see himself on his feet pouring forth comment -and exposition, but he sat close, hoping that no adverse fate might -direct the lady president's attention to him. The discussion was -dragging; one could tell that from the increasing bubbliness of the lady -president's enthusiasm as she strove conscientiously to fulfil her task -of imposing culture upon society. - -"I'm sure there must be something more," she said. "Perhaps the most -precious pearl of thought of the evening awaits just one more dive. Mrs. -Brunson, can you not--" - -"I always feel presumptuous," said Mrs. Brunson, hoarsening her voice -to the pitch she always adopted in public speaking, "when I differ from -other commentators. But I also feel that the true critic must put -himself in the place of the character under examination. Isn't there a -good deal of justification for Goneril and Regan? I do not see, -personally, how Lear could be supposed to need all those hundred -knights, with their drinking and roistering and dogs and--and all that. -I believe Lear's fate was of his own making, and--" - -John Smith, the unsophisticated, was startled. The unutterable fate of -"the old, kind king"--could this Olympian circle hold such treason? - - "No, you unnatural hags, - I will have such revenges on you both, - That all the world shall--I will do such things-- - What they are, yet I know not; but they shall be - The terrors of the earth. You think I'll weep; - No, I'll not weep: - I have full cause of weeping; but this heart - Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws, - Or ere I'll weep. O, fool, I shall go mad!" - -The fiery denunciation rang in the boy's ears in answer to the words of -this modern woman with her silks and plumes, standing here in a church -and, in spite of the softening things of her heritage, sympathizing with -these fierce sisters! Others rose and agreed with her. One read the -words of Regan: - - "O, sir, you are old; - Nature in you stands on the very verge - Of her confine: you should be ruled and led - By some discretion that discerns your state - Better than you yourself." - -These, was the comment, were the really sane words regarding Lear. - -"Oh, well!" said Judge Thornton as John broke his fast and the -abstinence of a lifetime in the parlor, upon the cakes and wine served -by Nellie. "It didn't surprise me a bit. Mrs. Brunson thinks she'd do as -Goneril and Regan did with their father--and she would. She'd avoid the -little peccadilloes with Edmund and so remain technically virtuous--the -best people are the worst, in some things, John, never forget that. It -will be useful to remember it. And the worst are nearly as good as the -best--come into the office when that Slattery person comes in the -morning, and you'll see what I mean. I'll give you some papers to draw -for her." - - * * * * * - -The Slattery person swept into the private office with a rustle of -stiffest silks, reminding the youth of the corn-husks at home in -shucking-time, leaving behind her a whiff of all the Orient. John Smith -walked into her presence, palpitating as at the approach to something -terrible and daunting and mystically fateful to such as himself--as a -sailor might draw warily near the black magnetic rocks, which, -approached too closely, would draw the very nails from his ship and -dissolve his craft in the billows. When Judge Thornton remarked by way -of left-handed introduction that Mr. Smith would draw the papers, the -woman paid John no attention other than to bow and look straight before -her. The youth felt conscious of the same shuddering admiration for her -that he might have felt for some gaudy, bright-eyed serpent. - -"It's a simple matter, I guess," she said. "I want to make over some -property so Abner Gibbs of Bloomington will get fifty dollars sure every -month as long as he lives." - -"Not so very simple," said the judge, "but quite possible. But why don't -you remit it to him yourself?" - -"I want to cinch it while I've the money. You see, it's this way. In--in -my--business"--she looked into John Smith's girlish eyes and -hesitated--"everything is uncertain. It's a feast or a famine. A wave of -reform may strike the town to-morrow, and the lid goes on. The -protection you pay for may be taken from you next week. You've no -rights. You ain't human. So I fix the fifty a month for the old man -while I can, see?" - -"Gibbs--Gibbs!" said the judge. "Relation of yours?" - -"In a way. Does it make any difference?" - -"It goes to the consideration," said the lawyer. "Love and affection, -you know." - -"Well," said the Slattery person, "his son was my solid man--my -side-partner--my husband. The last thing he said when he got his was, -'Blanche, old girl, take care of dad. You know his weakness. Don't let -him starve!' And I ain't going to!" - -"His weakness?" queried the judge. "What did he mean?" - -"Drink," said the Slattery person. "It's in the blood. But he can't last -long--and he's Jim's father!" - -She looked out of the window and dabbed with a lace handkerchief at her -bright eyes, which she dared not wipe for fear of ruin to the appliqué -complexion. Suddenly she had, to the mind of the susceptible John Smith, -become a woman, with a woman's weakness and yearning over the departed -Jim--of the blackness of whose life John had no means of taking the -measure. He felt all at once that this person had shown feelings so like -those he would have expected from his mother that it startled him. - -"Oh, we're all alike!" said the judge when she had gone. "These things -are worth the lawyer's study. Human nature--human nature! We must get -above it and study it! Just ponder on the contradictions in the bases of -life involved in this Slattery person and Mrs. Brunson's feeling toward -Lear. Here's a woman, that no one at the circle last night would touch -with anything shorter than a ten-foot pole or lighter than a club, who -is actually carrying out toward a drunkard in Bloomington a policy of -love and humanity that would be beyond Mrs. Brunson. She'd say: 'Let him -behave the way I say, and I'll take him in!' Any of us moral folks would -do the same, too. No knights and roistering for us! Quite a study--eh, -John?" - -John sat silent, far afloat from his moorings. The judge was too deep, -too ethically acute for him. Perhaps by long association he, John Smith, -might grow in moral height and mental grasp, so as to-- - -"I don't know," said Judge Thornton, "which is the worse--sale of the -body, or barter of the soul. I don't mean that the body can be sold -without the soul going with it, though Epictetus seems a case in point -in favor of the separable-transaction theory; but if it can, sale of the -soul would seem the more ruinous. I--" - -Judge Thornton was interrupted by the opening of the office door and the -entrance of a brisk, capable-looking, Vandyke-bearded man who carried a -cane and bore himself with an ease that seemed somehow at war with -something of restraint--the ease on the surface, the embarrassment -underneath, like a dead swell coming in against the breeze. There was a -triumphant gleam in Judge Thornton's eyes, filmed at once with -self-possession and inscrutable calm. "Come in, Mr. Avery," he said. - -"Just a word with you," said Mr. Avery, "in--" - -"Certainly!" said the judge. "Right in here, Mr. Avery." - -Mr. Avery passed into the private office. Judge Thornton remained for a -word with John Smith. - -"This is the vice-president of the gas company," he said. "Don't mention -his call and don't allow me to be disturbed." - -John Smith was triumphant. The very might of Thornton's ability and -power had brought the gas company to its knees! This crucial stage of -the gas fight thrust entirely out of his mind the deep moral and -ethical consideration of the relations of the Slattery person to the -discussion of Lear. The law, as of old, was a great profession. Would -any of the Boone County folk be able to believe that he, John Smith, was -so near the heart of big things as to sit here while Judge Thornton won -this great bloodless victory for the people? - -Mr. Avery came out, cordially smiling upon Judge Thornton, who looked -triumphant, pleased, uplifted. For a man who had just been throttled, -Mr. Avery looked in rather good form. - -"I'll send all the papers over to you, Judge," he said. "And I'm mighty -glad we've got together. It ought to have been done before; but you know -how it is when you leave things to subordinates." - -"Oh, well," said the judge. "Of course I'm very glad; but the -subordinates may have done the right thing. Maxwell and Wilson are good -men, but local conditions may--" - -They went out into the anteroom, and John Smith heard them go away -together. He felt disquieted. The appearances were so different from -what he had expected. Not that it was in the least degree his affair, -but-- - -The newsboy threw in the evening paper. John Smith looked at once for -the account of the gas fight. - - "The anti-ordinance forces make no secret of their regret that - Judge Thornton has seen fit to withdraw his promise to address the - mass-meeting on Tuesday. Late this afternoon he told a _News_ - representative that he would not attend, and that in his opinion a - study of the gas question will convince any business man that the - illuminant can not be delivered at the meter at anything short of - the rate now paid here. This is regarded by some as a reversal of - Judge Thornton's position; but, as a matter of fact, in all his - public utterances the judge has suspended judgment on the merits of - the question. The outlook for a successful movement can not be - regarded as bright to-day." - -John Smith was looking at the paper as though it were some published -blasphemy, some unspeakable profanation of all things good and holy, -when Judge Thornton returned, whistling like a man at peace with the -world and himself. The judge went into his private office and came out -with a thin slip of paper folded in the palm of one smooth, strong hand. - -"Too bad you're not a full-fledged lawyer, John, instead of a beginner. -I could use you a good deal. My practice is getting more extensive. I've -just been retained as the general counsel of the gas company. Oh, all -you have to do is to wait and make yourself indispensable! _You'll_ be -getting plums like that one of these days. It's a great game! Good -night." - -Good night, indeed! There was no thunder and lightning like that on the -heath when Lear went mad; but, to a boy whose world had suddenly tumbled -into pieces, the snow which drove softly against his cheek and slithered -hissingly along the asphalt was a natural feature to dwell in his memory -for ever. He wandered out through the area of high buildings, past the -residences, to where the snow rattled on the corn-husks that reminded -him of the Slattery person's silks. He had confused visions of Mrs. -Brunson, dressed in Judge Thornton's decent high hat, flaunting gaudy -garments and painting her face for indescribable drinking-bouts. He came -back past the Thornton home, where he paused in the gray dawn and looked -at one lace-curtained window to murmur "Good-by." At the door of the -office-building where his days had been spent since his coming to town, -he went in from force of habit and pushed the button for the elevator. -No sound rewarded the effort, and he pushed again impatiently. Then he -laughed as he noted the elevator-cages about him, all shut down, all -empty, like cells from which the lunatic occupants had escaped. A woman -who had begun scrubbing the marble steps looked at him curiously as his -mirthless laugh sounded through the empty building. - -John Smith climbed flight after flight, opened the door which would -never have "Thornton & Smith" on it, sat down at his desk and wrote: - - "DEAR FATHER: I am quite well. Everything looks favorable for my - studies. Judge Thornton says he wants to do all he can for me, and - I think he does; but I guess I am not cut out for a lawyer. It - isn't quite what I thought it was. If you are still willing to send - me to the state college and give me that agricultural course, I - believe I'll go. There's something about the farm that's always - there; and you know it's there. I'll be home as soon as I can pack - up. - - "Your loving son, - - "JOHN SMITH." - -The party sat for a few moments motionless, as the Artist's voice became -silent. Then the Colonel arose, bade them good night, and took the -Artist's hand. - -"As a legal Slattery person," said he, "I thank you for the tale of the -young fool. Good night!" - - - - -CHAPTER XI - - -The traveler who is wise, going from Grand Cañon Hotel to Tower Falls, -will pass over Mount Washburn--and he starts early. He starts early that -he may take with him the memory of the Upper and Lower Falls wrapped in -the mist which they and night have wrought together, and which the -nocturnal calm has perhaps left hanging wraith-like over the tremendous -slot so filled with the roar of many waters. And he starts early, too, -that he may make the ten-mile climb to Washburn's summit before the -day-wind rises and sweeps the mountain's head with that gale which so -tears the trees and twists them into a permanent declination, like -vegetable dipping needles. - -The Seven Wonderers pursued the way of wisdom, and so they startled deer -and elk from their night beds along the road to Cascade Creek; and began -the climb of Washburn before sunrise. The tops of Dunraven and Hedges -Peaks were rosy with morning when the rested cayuses pulled over the -first rugged spurs of these peaks, and it was morning with the perfect -trees, that stood like spires about them, morning with the columbine and -the larkspur, the forget-me-nots and the asters, the flea-bane and the -paint-brush--and all the wild flowers that enameled the wayside. For -many days they had been in the heart of the Rockies, and yet the scenery -had not seemed like real mountain scenery. Here for the first time, it -became alpine. They threaded Dunraven Pass in the early forenoon, and -took the high road straight over the summit. The team leaned hard into -the squeaking collars, and frequent stops that the horses might breathe -made the tourists glad. Every stop and every turn brought the eye new -delights. The great lake came into view again, like a distant splash of -silver; and as if for another good-by, away off to the south stood Mount -Sheridan, with the three Tetons to the right of it, solemnly overlooking -the Park of which they are a part to the eye only. - -"Oh! Oh!" said the Bride, gasping. "There's the Grand Cañon, like a -crack in the floor!" - -"And," said the Poet, "there's the ghost of wasted power, mistily -brooding over the falls, just as when we left." - -"Ghost of wasted power!" repeated the Groom. "That's not half bad, -Poet." - -Another turn, and the Absarakas notched the eastern horizon; and the -whole huge valley, with titanic slopes as its farther wall, and the -zigzag trench of the cañon as its central drain, lay at their feet. The -air was cooler, now, and the breath came short, as lungs labored for -more of the rare atmosphere. At their feet lay green meadows and open -parks, on which they might have expected to see grazing herds of shaggy -black Highland cattle. - -Again a few starts and stops, and as if turned into view by machinery, -came the northwest quarter of the Park, with all the country they had -traversed--Electric Peak, in whose shadow they had entered upon their -journey, Sepulcher Mountain, with its grave and the monuments at head -and foot no longer to be made out, the valley of Carnelian Creek at -their feet, and beyond it the jagged range, of which Prospect, Folsom -and Storm Peaks are the culminations. - -"That's something you don't always see," said Aconite, pointing to -something away off to the northwest. "That thing is the Devil's Slide." - -"And we saw his Inkstand yesterday," said the Hired Man. "He seems to've -preëmpted a lot of this here region." - -"Well," remarked the Colonel sardonically, "isn't the Park dedicated to -the enjoyment, as well as the benefit of the people?" - -"It started as 'Colter's Hell,'" suggested the Groom. - -"In Old Jim Bridger's time," said Aconite, "it rained fire up here in -these hills one year." - -"I don't doubt it," assented the Artist. "And we've either seen or are -promised a view of Hell Roaring Creek, Hell Broth Springs, Hell's Half -Acre, Satan's Arbor, and a lot of other infernal real estate." - -"It's heavenly up _here_!" said the Bride. - -Once at the summit the Park lay under their eyes like a map--all these -and a thousand other features to be taken in by merely turning about. -The land was sown with every variety of all that is wild and beautiful -and strange; the sky was filled with peaks. Here they had mountains to -spare. They looked, and looked, and grew tired of looking--and then -gazed again. The wind blew up and whipped their faces; and the sun was -far past the meridian, passing south through the silvery splotch of -Yellowstone Lake, when Aconite literally loaded them into the surrey, -and drove down the mighty flanks of Washburn, northwardly, until he -found a place where a fire could be builded and luncheon prepared. - -"You folks mustn't fergit," said he, "that scenery ain't so fillin' f'r -them as looks it every little while, as it is f'r the tenderfoot." - - * * * * * - -The Professor was evidently pleased when his name came from the Stetson -for the second time. He seemed to have something on his mind. Fully a -mile short of Tower Falls, which they planned to visit in the early -morning, they camped in dense forest, with a party of sight-seers just -so far away as to seem neighborly without intrenching on privacy. - -"This is the best camp we've had," said the Bride, hooking her hands -over her knee, and gazing into the fire. - -"Sure," said Billy. "Every camp is the best in life, for me, honey! -Listen to the Professor, now--nobody heard!" - - -THE FEDERAL IMP COMPANY - -THE PROFESSOR'S SECOND TALE - -I can not bring myself to think lightly of devils and imps. Neither can -I believe that the consensus of the opinions of so many millions of -mankind associating eternal punishment with fire can be neglected by the -student of ethnology or theology. These are filled with haunts of -devils--if the opinions of those who named them are worth anything. In -addition to those localities which have been mentioned, I have in my -notes the following: - - The Devil's Frying Pan, - The Devil's Slide, - The Devil's Kitchen, - The Devil's Punch Bowl, - The Devil's Broiler, - The Devil's Bath Tub, - The Devil's Den, - The Devil's Workshop, - The Devil's Stairway, - The Devil's Caldron, - The Devil's Well, - The Devil's Elbow, - The Devil's Thumb, - -and I know not how many of the members of His Satanic Majesty--all in -this Park! And yet we say there is no devil, no brood of imps set upon -the capture of human souls? - -I shall tell you a story that seems worth considering as evidence on the -other side. It is the story of something that occurred when I was -journeying by a branch railway to take the main line to Washington, -after a visit to the Boggses' ancestral farm in Pennsylvania. I had been -at Boston as an attendant upon the sessions of the National Teachers' -Association; with what recognition of my own small ability as an -educator I have already mentioned. I boarded an old-fashioned, -branch-line sleeping-car, and there met the being whose utterances and -actions have so impressed me that I shall never forget them, never. I -feel that this creature, so casually met, may be one of the actors in a -series of events of the most appalling character, and cosmic scope. - -When the porter came snooping about as if desiring to make up my berth, -I went into the smoking compartment. I do not smoke; but it was the only -place to go. I found there a person of striking appearance who told me -the most remarkable story I ever heard in my life, and one which I feel -it my duty to make public. - -He had before him a bottle of ready-mixed cocktails, a glass, and a -newspaper. With his bags and the little card table on which he rested -his elbows, he was occupying most of the compartment. I sidled in -hesitatingly, in that unobtrusive way which I believe to be the -unfailing mark of the retiring and scholastic mind, and for want of a -place to sit down, I leaned upon the lavatory. He was gazing fixedly at -the half-empty bottle, his sweeping black mustaches curling back past -his ears, his huge grizzled eyebrows shot through with the gleam of his -eyes. He looked so formidable that I confess I was daunted, and should -have escaped to the vestibule; but he saw me, rose, and with extreme -politeness began tossing aside baggage to make room. - -"I trust, Sir," said he with a capital S, "that you will pardon my -occupancy of so much of a room in which your right is equal to mine! Be -seated, I beg of you, Sir!" - -I sat down; partly because, when not aroused, I am of a submissive -temperament; and partly because he had thrown the table and grips across -the door. - -"Don't mention it," said I. "Thank you." - -"Permit me, Sir," said he, "to offer you a drink." - -"I hope you will excuse me," I replied, now slightly roused, for I -abhor alcohol and its use. "I never drink!" - -"It is creditable to any man, Sir," said he, "to carry around with him a -correct estimate of his weaknesses." - -This really aroused in me that indignation which sometimes renders me -almost terrible; but his fixed and glittering gaze seemed to hold me -back from making the protest which rose to my lips. - -"Permit me, Sir," said he, "to offer you a cigar." - -It was a strong-looking weed; but although I am not a smoker, I took and -lighted it. He resumed his attention to his bottle and paper. - -"Will you be so kind," said he, breaking silence, "as to read that item -as it appears to you?" - -"'Federal Improvement Company,'" I read. "'Organized under the laws of -New Jersey, on January 4th, with a capital of $1,000,000. Charter powers -very broad, taking in almost every field of business. The incorporators -are understood to be New York men.'" - -"'Imp,'" said he, "isn't it? not 'Improvement.'" - -"I take it, sir," said I, "that the omission of the period is a -printer's error, and that i-m-p means Improvement.'" - -He leaned forward, grasped my wrist and peered like a hypnotist into my -face. - -"Just as badly mistaken," said he, "as if you had lost--as could be! It -means 'Imp' just as it says 'Imp.' Have another drink!" - -This time I really did not feel free to refuse him. He seemed greatly -pleased at my tasting. - -"Sit still," said he, "and I'll tell you the condemdest story you ever -heard. That corporation means that we are now entering a governmental -and sociological area of low pressure that will make the French -Revolution look like a cipher with the rim rubbed out. In the end you'll -be apt to have clearer views as to whether or not 'i-m-p' spells -improvement'!" - -This he seemed to consider a very clever play upon words, and he sat for -some time, laughing in the manner adopted by the stage villain in his -moments of solitude. His Mephistophelean behavior, or something, made me -giddy. His manner was quite calm, however, and after a while we lapsed -back into the commonplace. - -"Ever read a story," said he, "named _The Bottle Imp_?" - -"Stevenson's _Bottle Imp_?" I exclaimed, glad to find a topic of common -interest, and feeling that it could not be a dangerous thing to be shut -into the same smoking compartment with any man who loved such things, no -matter how Captain-Kiddish he might appear. "Why, yes, I have often read -it. I am a teacher of literature and an admirer of Stevenson. He -possesses--" - -"Who? Adlai?" he said. "Did he ever have it?" - -"I mean Robert Louis," said I. "He wrote it, you know." - -"Oh!" said my companion meditatively, "he did, did he? Wrote it, eh? -It's as likely as not he did--I know _Adlai_. Met him once, when I was -putting a bill through down at Springfield: nice man! Well about this -Bottle Imp. You know the story tells how he was shut up in a bottle--the -Imp was--and whoever owned it could have anything he ordered, just like -the fellow with the lamp--" - -"Except long life!" said I, venturing to interrupt. - -"Of course, not that!" replied my strange traveling companion. "If the -thing had been used to prolong life, where would the Imp come in? His -side of the deal was to get a soul to torture. He couldn't be asked to -give 'em length of days, you understand. It couldn't be expected." - -I had to admit that, from the Imp's standpoint, there was much force in -this remark. - -"And that other clause in the contract that the owner could sell it," he -went on. "That had to be in, or the Imp never could have found a man -sucker enough to take the Bottle in the first place." - -The cases of Faust, and the man who had the Wild Ass's Skin seemed to me -authorities against this statement; but I allowed the error to pass -uncorrected. - -"On the other hand," he went on, "it was nothing more than fair to have -that other clause in, providing that every seller must take less for it -than he gave. Otherwise they'd have kept transferring it just before the -owner croaked, and the Imp would never have got his victim. But with -that rule in force the price just had to get down so low sometime that -it couldn't get any lower, and the Imp would get his _quid pro quo_." - -"You speak," said I indignantly, for it horrified me to hear the loss of -a soul spoken of in this light manner; "you speak like a veritable -devil's advocate!" - -"When I've finished telling you of this Federal Imp Company that's just -been chartered," said he, "you'll have to admit that there's at least -one devil that's in need of the best advocate that money'll hire!" - -Here he gave one of his sardonic chuckles, long-continued and rumbling, -and peered into the bottle of cocktails, as if the prospective client of -the advocate referred to had been confined there. - -"When it doesn't cost anything," he added, "there's no harm in being -fair, even with an Imp." - -I failed to come to the defense of my position, and he went on. - -"Well," said he, "do you remember the Bottle Imp's history that this man -Stevenson gives us? Cæsar had it once, and wished himself clear up to -the head of the Roman Empire. Charlemagne, Napoleon, and a good many of -the fellows who had everything coming their way, owed their successes to -the Bottle Imp, and their failures to selling out too soon: got scared -when they got a headache, or on the eve of battle, or something like -that. It was owned in South Africa, and Barney Barnato and Cecil Rhodes -both had it. That accounts for the way _they_ got up in the world. Then -the Bottle and Imp went to the Nob Hill millionaire who bought it for -eighty dollars and sold it to Keawe the Kanaka for fifty. The price was -getting dangerously low, now, and Keawe was mighty glad when he had -wished himself into a fortune and got rid of the thing. Then, just as he -was about to get married, he discovered that he had leprosy, hunted up -the Bottle, which he found in the possession of a fellow who had all -colors of money and insomnia, both of which he had acquired by -purchasing the Bottle Imp for two cents, you remember, and was out -looking for a transferee, and about on the verge of nervous prostration -because he couldn't find one,--not at that price! Keawe became so -desperate from the danger of going to the leper colony and the loss of -his sweetheart, that he bought the Bottle for a cent, in the face of the -fact that, so far as he knew, a cent was the smallest coin in the world, -and the bargain, accordingly, cinched him as the Imp's peculiar -property, for all eternity. I'll be--hanged--if I know whether to -despise him for his foolishness or to admire him for his sand!" - -"You recall," said I, "that his wife directed his attention to the -_centime_--" - -"Yes," said he, "she put him on. And they threw away one transfer by -placing it on the market at four _centimes_. They might just as well -have started it at five." - -"I don't see that," said I. - -"Because you haven't figured on it," said he. "You haven't been -circulating in Imp circles lately, as I have, where these things are -discussed. Listen! A _centime_ is the hundredth part of a franc, and a -franc is about nineteen cents. A cent, therefore, is a fraction more -than five _centimes_. But they started it at four, the chocolate-colored -idiots, after getting rid of their leprosy! When I think how that Bottle -Imp has been mismanaged, I am driven--" - -He illustrated that to which he was driven, by a gesture with the bottle -on the table. He coughed, and took up his _résumé_ of the story. - -"Let that pass. They put it up at four _centimes_, and without Keawe's -knowledge that she had anything to do with it, Keawe's wife got an old -man to buy it, and she took it off his hands at three. The Kanaka soon -found out that he was now carrying his eternal damnation in his wife's -name, and he procured an old skipper or mate, or some such fellow in a -state of intoxication, to buy it of her for two, on the agreement that -he would take it again for one. Here they were, frittering away untold -fortunes, each trying to go to perdition to save the other--it makes me -tired! But the old bos'n or whatever he was, said he was going, you know -where, anyhow, and figured that the Bottle was a good thing to take with -him, and kept it. And there's where the Kanakas got out of a mighty -tight place--" - -"And the Bottle disappeared and passed into history!" I broke in. I was -really absorbed in the conversation, in spite of a slight vertigo, now -that we had got into the field of literature where I felt at home. - -"Passed into--nothing!" he snorted. "Passed into the state of being the -Whole Thing! Became It! Went on the road to the possession of the -Federal Imp Company as the sole asset of the corporation. Folks'll see -now pretty quick, whether it passed into history or not! Yes, I should -say so!" - -"Who's got it now?" I whispered. I was so excited that I found myself -sitting across the table, and us mingling our breaths like true -conspirators. He had a good working majority in the breaths, however. - -"Who's the Charlemagne, the J. Cæsar, the Napoleon of the present day?" -he whispered in reply, after looking furtively over his shoulder. "It -don't need a Sherlock Holmes to tell that, does it?" - -"Not," said I, "not J. P.--" - -"No," said he, "It's John D.--" - -But before he finished the name he crept to the door and peered down the -aisle, and then whispered it in my ear so sibilantly that I felt for a -minute as I used to do when I got water in my ear when swimming. But I -noticed it very little in my astonishment at the fact he had imparted to -me. I felt that I was pale. He rose again and prowled about as if for -eavesdroppers. I felt myself a Guy Fawkes, an Aaron Burr, an--well, -anything covert and dangerous. - -"He bought this Bottle Imp," my companion went on, resuming his seat, -"of the old sailing-master, or whatever he was--the man with the -downward tendency and the jag. What J. D. wanted was power, just as -Cæsar and Napoleon wanted it in their times. But the same kind of power -wouldn't do. Armies were the tools of nations then; now they are the -playthings. Now nations are the tools of money, and wealth runs the -machine. This emperor of ours chose between having the colors dip as he -went by, and owning the fellows that made 'em dip. He gave the -grand-stand the go-by, and took the job of being the one to pull the -string that turned on the current that moved the ruling force that -controlled the power back of the power behind the throne. D'ye -understand?" - -"It's a little complex," said I, "the way you state it, but--" - -"It'll all be clear in the morning," he said. "Anyway, that's what he -chose. And what is he? The Emperor of Coin. He was a modest business man -a few years ago. Suddenly the wealth of a continent began flowing into -his control. It rolled in and rolled in, every coin making him stronger -and stronger, until now the business of the world takes out insurance -policies on his life and scans the reports of his health as if the very -basis of society were John D. You-Know-Who. Emperors court his favor, -and the financial world shakes when he walks. You don't think for a -minute that this could be done by any natural means, do you?" - -"But the price of the bottle was one _centime_!" said I, my altruism -coming uppermost once more. "One _centime_: and he is no longer young!" - -"Exactly," he answered, "and he's got to sell it, or go to--Well, he's -just about got to sell it!" - -"But how?" I queried. "What coin is there smaller than a _centime_--what -he paid?" - -"All been figured out," said he airily. "Who solved the puzzle I don't -know; but I guess it was Senator Depew. Know what a mill is?" - -"A mill? Yes," said I. "A factory? A pugilistic encounter? A money of -account?" - -"Yes," said he, "a 'money of account.' Never coined. One-tenth of a -cent. _One-half a centime!_ Have you heard of Senator Aldrich's currency -bill, S. F. 41144? It's got a clause in it providing for the coinage of -the mill. And there's where I come in. I'm an unelected -legislator--third house, you know. Let the constructive statesman bring -in their little bills. I'm satisfied to put 'em through! S. F. 41144 is -going to be put through, and old J. D.'ll sell his Bottle, Imp and all. -Price, one mill. When this grip epidemic started in, he got a touch of -it, and I'll state that a sick man feels a little nervous with that Imp -in stock. So they wired for me. It's going to be a fight all right!" - -"Why, who will oppose the bill?" said I. "No one will know its object." - -"Lots of folks will oppose it," said he. "Every association of clergymen -in the country is liable to turn up fighting it tooth and nail. There -are too many small coins now for the interests of the people who depend -on contribution boxes. The Sunday-schools will all be against it. And -the street-car companies won't want the cent subdivided. Then it'll be -hard to convince Joe Cannon; he's always looking for a nigger in the -fence, and there _is_ one here, you understand. But the mill's going to -be coined, all the same!" - -"But," said I, "who will buy the diabolical thing for a mill? If Keawe -and his wife had such trouble selling it for a _centime_, it will be -impossible to dispose of it for a mill, absolutely impossible! It's the -irreducible minimum!" - -"I take it, Sir," said he, with a recurrence of the capital S, "that you -are not engaged in what Senator Lodge in our conference last night -called 'hot finance'?" - -"No," I admitted, for in spite of the orthoëpic error, I understood him. -"No, I am not--exactly." - -"I inferred as much from your remark," said he. "When there's anything -to be done, too large for individual power, or dangerous in its nature, -or, let us say, repugnant to some back-number criminal law, or, as in -this case, dangerous to the individual's soul's salvation, what do you -do? Why you organize a corporation, if you know your business, and turn -the whole thing over to it--and there you are. The Federal Imp Company -will take over the Bottle Imp at the price of one mill. Mr. R. won't own -it any more. His stock will be non-assessable, and all paid up by the -transfer of the Imp, and there can't be any liability on it. He can -retain control of it if he wants to--and you notice he generally wants -to, and can laugh in the Imp's face. We've got all kinds of legal -opinions on _that_. And whoever controls that company will rule the -world. That Imp is the greatest corporate asset that ever existed. All -that's needed is for the president of the corporation to wish for -anything, or the board of directors to pass a resolution, and the thing -asked for comes a-running. The railways, steamships, banks, factories, -lands--everything worth having--are just as good as taken over. - -"Why it's the Universal Merger, the Trust of Trusts! The stock-holders of -the Federal Imp Company will be the ruling class of the world, a -perpetual aristocracy; and the man with fifty-one per cent. of the -stock, or proxies for it, will be Emperor, Czar, Kaiser, Everything!" - -"But this is stupendous!" I exclaimed: for, being a student of political -economy--"economics," they call it now--I at once perceived the -significance of his statements. "This is terrible! It is revolution! It -is the end of democracy! Can't it be stopped?" - -"M'h'm," said he quietly, evidently assenting to my rather excited -statement; and then in reply to my question, he added with another -chuckle, "Stop nothing! Federal injunction won't do it: presidential -veto won't do it: nor calling out the militia: nor anything else. For -the Imp controls the courts, the president, _and_ the army; and J. D. R. -runs the Imp--fifty-one per cent. of the Imp stock! The socialists will -go out campaigning in favor of the government's taking over the Federal -Imp Company, but the Imp controls the government--and the socialists, -too, when you come down to brass nails. Oh, it's a cinch, a timelock, -leadpipe cinch! The stuff's off with everybody else, if we can get this -bill through!" - -I was shocked into something like a cataleptic state, and sat dazed for -a while. Either this or the strong cigar, or something, so affected me -that, as he passed the flask to me for the fourth time, the smoking -compartment seemed to swim about me as the train rolled thunderously -onward through the night. To steady myself I gazed fixedly at my -extraordinary fellow traveler as he sat, his now well-nigh empty bottle -before him, peering into it from time to time as if for some potent -servant of his own. Suddenly he leaned back and laughed more -diabolically than ever. - -"Ha, ha, ha!" he roared. "You ought to have been with us last night in -his library! Aldrich and Depew and some of the others were there, and we -were checking over our list of sure votes in the House. The old man had -the grip, as I said a while ago, and privately, I'll state I think he's -scared stiff; for every fifteen minutes we got a bulletin from his -doctors and messages from him to rush S. F. 41144 to its passage, -regardless, or he'd accept a bid he'd got for the Bottle Imp from Sir -Thomas Lipton, who wants it for some crazy scheme regarding lifting the -Cup. All the while, there stood the Bottle with the Imp in it. When the -grip news was coming in there was nothing doing with his Impship. But -whenever we began discussing his transfer to the Company, the way -business picked up in that bottle was a caution! Why, you could hear -him stabbing the stopper with his tail, and grinding his horns against -the sides of the bottle, and fighting like a weasel in a trap, in such a -rage that the Bottle glowed like a red-hot iron. It was shameful! One of -the lawyers took the horrors, and had to be taken home in a -carriage--threw a conniption fit every block! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! -Oh! it was great stuff!" - -"I don't see--" I began. - -"No? Don't you?" he queried, between the satanic chuckles. "Well, by -George, the Imp saw, all right! He saw that modern financial ingenuity -has found a way to flimflam the devil himself. He saw, Sir (here his -voice assumed an oratorical orotund, and the capital S came in again), -that our corporation lawyers have found a spoon long enough so that we -can safely sup with Satan! Why, let me ask you once, what did the Imp go -into the Bottle deal for in the first place? To get the aforesaid soul. -You can see how he'd feel, now that the price is down to the last notch -but one, to have it sold to a corporation, with no more soul than a -rabbit! If--that--don't beat the--the devil, what does?" - -It all dawned upon me now. The reasonableness of the entire story -appealed to me. I reached for the paper. There it was: "Federal Imp -Company: Charter powers very broad, taking in almost the entire field of -business." I looked at the lobbyist. He had dropped asleep with his head -on the table beside the empty cocktail bottle. Again things seemed to -swim, and I lapsed into a state of something like coma, from which I was -aroused by some one shaking me by the shoulder. - -"Berth's ready, suh," said the porter, and passed to my companion. - -"Hyah's Devil's Gulch Sidin', suh," said he, rousing the slumbering -lobbyist. "You get off, hyah, suh!" - -He passed out of the door with a Chesterfieldian bow and good night. I -passed a sleepless and anxious night. The shock, or something, made me -quite ill. I have not yet recovered my peace of mind. An effort which I -made to place the matter before Doctor Byproduct, the president of the -university of which I am an alumnus, led to such a stern reproof that I -was forced to subside. The doctor said that the story was a libel upon a -great and good man who had partially promised the university an -endowment of ten millions of dollars. I am ready, however, to appear -before any congressional committee which may be appointed to investigate -the matter, or before the Interstate Commerce Commission, and to testify -to the facts as above written, if it costs me my career. - - * * * * * - -"By gad, sir!" shouted the Colonel, breaking a long silence. "That -infernal scheme would work!" - -The party went one by one to their tents. Soon no one but the Colonel -and the Hired Man were left. - -"It sounds to me," remarked the Hired Man oracularly. - - - - -CHAPTER XII - - -"If these lovely little waterfalls," asserted the Bride, as she gazed -upon the graceful Tower Falls, "could only have a fair chance, they -would win fame--but they are overshadowed here--and they don't seem to -care." - -Undine Falls, the Virginia Cascade, Mystic Falls, Kepler Cascade and -Crystal Falls were in the mind of the Bride; but she might have -mentioned many more, which in their incursion into the Park they had not -seen. - -"This," said the Artist, "is no place to look at, and leave--it is a -region for the artist to live in, to study, to make a part of his life, -and finally, to understand." - -"I reckon," said the Hired Man, "that he'd git homesick f'r the corn -country after a winter or so." - -Some competent judges think Tower Falls the most beautiful cascade on -earth. Perhaps it is. Certainly no fault has ever been found with it as -a picture. The Seven Wonderers spent a day near their pretty camp, -resting, exploring, and renewing their acquaintance with the gorge of -the Yellowstone, and forming that of the Needle, slender as a campanile, -and three hundred feet high, marking the end of the Grand Cañon. -Junction Butte, which they crossed the New Bridge to see, standing where -many roads and rivers meet, seemed to the Bride another monument placed -there by the gods with manifest intention. Why otherwise, she queried, -could not the Needle be anywhere else, just as well as at the lower end -of the Grand Cañon, or Junction Butte, in any other place as easily as -in this cross-roads of highways and waters? - -"Why, indeed?" assented the Groom. "When you find a stone stuck on end -at the corner of a parcel of land, you know that the stone was placed -there to mark the corner, don't you?" - -"Reminds me of the providential way that rivers always run past cities, -just where they are needed," carped the Colonel. - -"It isn't the same thing," said the Bride hotly. "You're getting mean, -Colonel!" - -"Honing for the wrangle of the courts, Bride," said he. "I apologize." - -"Well," said Aconite, "there's a lot of bigger mysteries than them in -these regions. Here's the Petrified Trees, over here in a ravine just -off the road. If we don't see the petrified forest up Amethyst Crick -way, maybe you'd like to look at these an' tell me how trees ever turned -to stone that-a-way." - -There they stood, splintered by the elements, indubitably the stubs of -trees, and unquestionably stone. The Professor began an explanation of -the phenomenon of petrifaction, but nobody paid him any attention. - -"Old Jim Bridger," said Aconite, "discovered the Petrified Forest, up in -the Lamar Valley; an' back in the mountains som'eres he found a place -where the grass, birds an' everything else was petrified. Even a -waterfall was petrified, an' stan's thar luk glass." - -"And the roar of it is petrified, and the songs of the birds, and the -sunlight, and the birds singing their petrified songs in the petrified -air, in which they are suspended for ever, by reason of the petrifaction -of the force of gravity, which otherwise would bring them down!" - -Thus the Poet. Aconite looked at him in surprise. - -"Either you've been here before," said he, "or you've knowed some one -that has been!" - -Time refused to serve for an exploration of the regions northeast of the -New Bridge, though the road invited, and the Artist strongly argued for -the trip. He wanted to see the Fossil Forest, and Amethyst Falls, -Amethyst Creek, Amethyst Mountain and Specimen Ridge. But they turned -their backs on these, on Soda Butte and its wonderful cañon, and that of -the Lamar, on the piscatorial delights of Trout Lake, the mystery of -Death Gulch, and the weirdnesses of the Hoodoo Region. The Bride and -Groom were due to take train from Gardiner, and on to San Francisco. At -Yancey's the Bride invited them to a parting dinner when they should -reach Mammoth Hot Springs Hotel, and when Aconite and the Hired Man -failed to recognize themselves as included, the Bride assured them that -the occasion would be ruined if they did not attend--and they promised. - -They reached Yancey's early in the afternoon, but the Bride was so -enraptured by its beauties as a camping place that they made camp for -the night, and drawing from the hat the name of Aconite as the -entertainer for the evening, and the Poet for the dinner at the Hotel, -each found himself feeling like one who has sent his luggage to the -station, and awaits the carriage to bear him from home; or like sailors -who have their dunnage ready for the dock at the end of the voyage. - -Their relationship had grown to something very like intimacy in -something more than half a month. And they were about to go their -several ways, like ships that pass in the night. It was their great -good fortune to have so met and acted that every member of the party -felt the companionship a tolerable thing to contemplate as a -permanency--that should they be in any mysterious--though scarcely -improbable--interposition of glass barrier, or fiery lake, or gulf -filled with deadly vapor, shut into this marvelous region, they could be -good friends and good fellows. And they listened respectfully as -Aconite, under the trees at Yancey's, spun the yarn of his love affair -with an Oberlin College girl, his connection with a Rosebud beef issue -fraud, and the tragedy that resulted from the mixture thereof. - - -THE JILTING OF MR. DRISCOLL - -ACONITE'S SECOND TALE - -This here doctrine of Mr. Witherspoon's about lettin' cattle range wide, -has some arguments of a humane nature back of it. But his openin' of it -up in the instructions f'r runnin' the ten thousand dogies, was the same -kind of a miscue the Pawnees made when they laid fer an' roped the U.P. -flyer--which Mr. Elkins described as a misapplication of sound theory to -new an' unwonted conditions; as the rattler said when he swallered the -lawn hose. Principles has their local habitats the same as live things; -an' nothin' is worse f'r 'em than to turn 'em loose where they don't -know the water-holes an' wind-breaks. Principles that'll lay on fat an' -top the market in Boston, 'll queer the hull game in a country where -playin' it is tangled up with Injuns, gold mines, 'r range-stuff. In the -short-grass country, dogy principles are sure a source of loss, until -they get hardened up so's to git out and rustle with the push. Now, this -Humane-Society-Injun-Relief-Corps form of doin' good--harmless, you'd -say, as we set here by the grub-wagon; but I swear to Godfrey's Gulch, -the worst throw-down I ever got in a social way growed out of a -combination of them two highly proper idees with a Oberlin College gal I -met up to Chamberlain. - -This was the way of it: The "O. M." Mr. Elkins, I mean, of the -J-Up-An'-Down Ranch, was called to Sioux Falls as a witness in a case of -selling conversation-water to the Injuns, an' casually landed a juicy -contract with Uncle Sam f'r supplyin' beef-issue cattle over on the -Rosebud. The Pierre firm of politicians he outbid, havin' things framed -up pretty good, as they thought, on the delivery, at once hops to him -with a proposition to pay him I d'know how much money an' take it off -his hands. Havin' a pongshong f'r doin' business on velvet, the O. M. -snaps 'em up instantaneous, an' comes home to Wolf Nose Crick smilin' -like he'd swallered the canary, an' sends me to Chamberlain to see that -the contract is carried out as fer as proper. - -"Go up, Aconite," he says, "an' remember that while the J-Up-An'-Down -outfit don't feel bound to demand any reforms, its interests must be -protected. Any sort of cattle the Pierre crowd can make look like prime -steers to the inspector, goes with us. But," he goes on, "our names and -not theirs are on the contract. These inspectors," says he, "bein' -picked out on their merits at Washington, to look after the interests of -the gover'ment an' the noble red, it would be unpatriotic if not _Lee's -Majesty_ to cavil at their judgment on steers, especially if it -coincides with that of Senator Whaley's men at Pierre. Therefore, far be -it from us to knock. But be leery that we don't get stuck for -non-performance: which we can't afford. See?" - -It was purty plain to a man who'd matrickelated as night-wrangler, an' -graduated as _it_ on the J-Up-An'-Down, an' I went heart-free an' -conscience clear, seein' my duty perfectly plain. - -Now at Chamberlain was this Oberlin College lady, who had some kind of -an inflamed conscience on the Injun question, an' was dead stuck on dumb -animals an' their rights. She was one of the kind you don't see out -here--blue eyes, you know, yellow hair, the kind of complexion that -don't outlive many hot winds; an' she had lots of pitchers around her, -of young folks in her classes, an' people with mortar-board hats an' -black nighties, 'r striped sweaters. She was irrupting into the Injun -question _via_ Chamberlain. Her thought was that the Injuns was really -livin' correct's fur as they had a chance, an' that we orto copy their -ways, instid of makin' them tag along after our'n. - -"Maybe that's so," says I, "but I've took the Keeley cure twice now, an' -please excuse me!" - -She looked kinder dazed f'r a minute, an' then laffed, an' said -somethin' about the sardonic humor of the frontier. - -I had been asked to give a exhibition of broncho bustin' at the ranch -where she was stayin' an' she was agitatin' herself about the bronks' -feelin's. I told her that it was just friendly rivalry between the -puncher an' the bronk, an' how, out on the ranch, the gentle critters 'd -come up an' hang around by the hour, a-nickerin' f'r some o' the gang to -go out an' bust 'em. - -"It reminds me," she says, "of my brother's pointers begging to go -hunting." - -"Same principle," says I. - -It seemed to ease her mind, an' feelin' as I did toward her, I wouldn't -have her worry f'r anything. Then she found out that I was a graduate of -the high school of Higgsville, Kansas, an' used to know what quadratics -was, an' that my way of emitting the English language was just an -acquired mannerism, like the hock-action of a string-halted hoss, an' -she warmed up to me right smart, both then an' after, never askin' to -see my diploma, an' begun interrogatin' me about the beef-issue, an' -discussin' the Injun question like a lifelong friend. Whereat, I jumped -the game. - -But, for all that, about this time I become subject to attacts of blue -eyes an' yellow hair, accompanied by vertigo, blind-staggers, bots, -ringin' in the ears--like low, confabulatin' talk, kinder interspersed -with little bubbles of lafture--an' a sense o' guilt whenever I done -anything under the canopy of heaven that I was used to doin'. Can yeh -explain that, now? Why this Oberlin proposition should make me feel like -a criminal jest because the pony grunted at the cinchin' o' the saddle, -'r because I lammed him f'r bitin' a piece out o' my thigh at the same -time, goes too deep into mind science f'r Aconite Driscoll. O' course, a -man under them succumstances is supposed to let up on cussin' an' not to -listen to all kinds o' stories; but you understand, here I was, -conscience-struck in a general an' hazy sort of way, mournin' over a -dark an' bloody past, an' thinkin' joyfully of death. It was the -condemnedest case I ever contracted, an' nothin' saved me to be a -comfort to my friends but the distraction of the queer actions of that -inspector. - -I never had given him a thought. Senator Whaley an' his grafters was -supposed to arrange matters with him--an' I'm no corruptionist, anyway. -Of course, the cattle wasn't quite up to export shippin' quality. The -senator's gang had got together a collection of skips an' culls an' -canners that was sure a fraud on the Injuns, who mostly uses the cattle -issued to 'em the way some high-up civilized folks does hand-raised -foxes--as a means of revortin' to predatory savagery, as Miss Ainsley -says. Ainsley was her name--Gladys Ainsley--an' she lived som'eres -around Toledo. The p'int is, that they chase 'em, with wild whoops an' -yips over the undulatin' reservation until they can shoot 'em, an' I -s'pose, sort of imagine, if Injuns have imaginations, that time has -turned back'ard in her flight, an' the buffalo season is on ag'in. -Whereas, these scandalous runts of steers an' old cow stuff was mostly -too weak or too old to put up any sort of a bluff at speed. - -But, under my instructions, if they looked good to the inspector, they -looked good to me; an' bein' sort of absent-minded with gal-stroke, I -rested easy, as the feller said when the cyclone left him on top o' the -church tower. - -The inspector was a new man, an' his queer actions consisted mostly of -his showin' up ten days too soon, an' then drivin' 'r ridin' around the -country lookin' at the stock before delivery. This looked suspicious; -fer we s'posed it was all off but runnin' 'em through the gap once, -twice 'r three times to be counted. Whaley's man comes to me one day, -an' ast me what I thought of it. - -"I'm paid a princely salary," says I, "fer keepin' my thoughts to -myself. This here's no case," I continued, "callin' f'r cerebration on -my part. If thinkin's the game, it's your move. What's Senator Whaley in -politics fer," says I, "if a obscure forty-a-month-an'-found puncher is -to be called on to think on the doin's of a U.S. inspector? What's he in -this fer at all, if we've got to think at this end of the lariat?" - -"He was talkin' about cavvs," said the feller, whose name was Reddy--a -most ungrammatical cuss. "He was a-pokin' round with the contrack, -a-speakin' about cavvs. Wun't you go an' talk to him?" - -"Not me!" says I, f'r the hull business disgusted me, an' my guilt come -back over me shameful, with the eyes an' hair an' things plenteous. -Whaley's man rode off, shakin' his head. - -Next day the inspector hunted me up. - -"Mr. Driscoll?" says he, f'r I'd been keepin' out of his way. - -"Correct," says I. - -"You represent the Elkins' interests in the matter of supplying for the -issue, do you not?" says he. - -"In a kind of a sort of a way," says I, f'r I didn't care to admit too -much till I see what he was up to. "In a kind of a sort of a way, mebbe -I do. Why?" - -"Did you have anything to do," says he, unfoldin' a stiff piece of -paper, "with procuring the cattle now in readiness for delivery?" - -"Hell, no!" I yells, an' then seein' my mistake, I jumped an' added: -"You see, the top stuff f'r the Injun market is perduced up around -Pierre. So we sub-contracted with this Pierre outfit to supply it. It's -their funeral, not ours. It's good stock, ain't it?" - -"I am assured by Senator Whaley's private secretary," says he, "who is a -classmate of mine, that there would be great dissatisfaction among the -Indians, owing to certain tribal traditions and racial peculiarities--" - -"You bet!" says I, f'r he seemed to be gettin' wound up an' cast in it, -"that's the exact situation!" - -"Would be dissatisfaction," he went on, "if cattle of the type which in -the great markets is considered best, were furnished here. And I have -great confidence in his judgment." - -"So've I," I says. "He's one of the judgmentiousest fellers you ever -see." - -"So let that phase of the question pass," says he, "for the present. But -there's a clause in this contract--" - -"Don't let that worry you," says I. "There's claws in all of 'em if you -look close." - -He never cracked a smile, but unfolded it, and went on. - -"Here's a clause," says he, "calling for a hundred and fifty cows with -calves at foot, for the dairy herd, I presume." - -"Cavvs at what?" says I. - -"At foot," says he, p'intin' at a spot along toward the bottom. "Right -there!" - -"It's impossible!" says I. "They don't wear 'em that way." - -He studied over it quite a while, at that, an' I begun to think I'd won -out, but at last he says: "That's the way it reads, an' while I shall -not insist upon any particular relation of juxtaposition in offspring -and dam-" - -"Whope!" says I, "back up an' come ag'in pardner." - -"It seems to be my duty to insist upon the one hundred and fifty cows -and calves. Now the point is, I don't find any such description of -creatures among the--the bunches in seeming readiness for delivery." - -"O!" says I, "that's what's eating yeh, is it? W'l don't worry any more. -The cow kindergarten's furder up the river. We didn't want to put the -tender little devils where they'd be tramped on by them monstrous big -oxen you noticed around the corrals. This caff business is all right, -trust us!" - -Whaley's man was waitin' fer me down at the saloon, an' when I told him -about the cavvs, he shrunk into himself like a collapsed foot-ball, an' -wilted. - -"Hain't yeh got 'em?" says I. - -"Huh!" says he, comin' out of it. "Don't be a dum fool, Aconite. This is -the first I understood of it, an' whoever heared of an inspector readin' -a contrack? And there ain't them many cavvs to be got by that time in -all Dakoty. Le's hit the wires f'r instructions!" - -The telegrams runs something like this: - - To Senator Patrick Whaley, Washington, D. C.: - - Contract calls for a hundred and fifty cows with calves at foot. - What shall I do? - - REDDY. - - * * * * * - - To Reddy Withers, Chamberlain, S. D.: - - Wire received. Calves at what? Explain, collect. - - WHALEY. - - * * * * * - - Hundred and fifty cows and calves. What do you advise? - - REDDY. - - * * * * * - - See inspector. - - WHALEY. - - * * * * * - - Won't do. Inspector wrong. - - REDDY. - - * * * * * - - Fix inspector or get calves. - - WHALEY. - -I'd got about the same kind of a telegram to Mr. Elkins, addin' that the -Whaley crowd was up in the air. I sent it by Western Union to Sturgis, -and then up Wolf Nose Crick by the Belle Fourche and Elsewhere Telephone -Line. The O. M., as usual, cuts the melon with a word. His wire was as -follows. - - Take first train Chicago. Call for letter Smith & Jones Commission - merchants Union Stock Yards. - - ELKINS. - -This was sure an affliction on me, f'r I had fixed up a deal to go with -Miss Ainsley an' her friends on a campin' trip, lastin' up to the day of -the issue. She'd been readin' one of Hamlin Garland's books about a -puncher who'd scooted through the British aristocracy, hittin' only the -high places in a social way, on the strength of a gold prospect an' the -diamond hitch to a mule-pack. She wanted to see the diamond hitch of all -things. There orto be a law ag'inst novel-writin'. I got Reddy to learn -me the diamond hitch so I could make good with Gladys, an' here was this -mysterious caff expedition to the last place in the world, Chicago, -a-yankin' me off by the night train. - -I went over to tell her about it. First, I thought I'd put on the clo'es -I expected to wear to Chicago, a dandy fifteen dollar suit I got in -town. An' then I saw how foolish this would be, an' brushed up my range -clo'es, tied a new silk scarf in my soft roll collar, an' went. Here's -my diagram of the hook-up: Any o' them mortar-board-hat, black-nightie -fellers she had pitchers of, could probably afford fifteen dollar -clay-worsteds; but it was a good gamblin' proposition that none of 'em -could come in at the gate like a personally-conducted cyclone, bring up -a-stannin' from a dead run to a dead stop's if they'd struck a stone -wall, go clear from the bronk as he fetched up an' light like a centaur -before her, with their sombrero in their hand. Don't light, you say? -Wal, I mean as a centaur would light if he took a notion. You'd better -take a hike down to see how the steed's gettin' along, Bill, 'r else -subside about this Greek myth biz. It helps on with this story--not! - -The p'int is, that gals and fellers both like variety. To me, the "y" in -her name, the floss in her hair, the kind of quivery lowness in her -voice, the rustle of her dresses as she walked, the way she looked like -the pitchers in the magazines an' talked like the stories in 'em, all -corroborated to throw the hooks into me. An' I s'pose the -nater's-nobleman gag went likewise with her. Subsekent happenin's--but I -must hold that back. - -We sot in the hammock that night--the only time Aconite Driscoll ever -was right up against the real thing in ladies' goods--an' she read me a -piece about a Count Gibson a-shooting his lady-love's slanderers so full -o' holes at a turnament that they wouldn't hold hazel-brush. They was -one verse she hesitated over, an' skipped. - -I ast her if she thought she--as a supposed case--could live out in this -dried-up-an'-blowed-away country; an' she said the matter had really -never been placed before her in any such a way as to call for a decision -on her part. Purty smooth, that! Then she read another piece that wound -up with "Love is best!" from the same book, an' forgot to take her hand -away when I sneaked up on it, an'--Gosh! talk about happiness: we never -git anything o' quite that kind out here! I never knowed how I got to -the train, 'r anything else ontil we was a-crossin' the Mississippi at -North McGregor. Here the caff question ag'in unveiled its heejus front, -to be mulled over till I reached the cowman's harbor in Chicago, the -Exchange Building at the Yards, an' found Jim Elkins' instructions -awaitin' me. They read: - - "DEAR ACONITE: - - "The Chicago stockyards are the nation's doorstep for bovine - foundlings. New-born calves are a drug on the market there, owing - to abuses in the shipping business which we won't just now take - time to discuss, to say nothing about curing 'em. What is done with - 'em is a mystery which may be solved some day; but that they perish - in some miserable way is certain. Two carloads of them must perish - on the Rosebud instead of in Packingtown--in the Sioux soup - kettles, instead of the rendering tanks, if you can keep them alive - to reach Chamberlain--and I have great confidence in your ability - to perform this task imposed upon you by the carelessness of - Senator Whaley's men either at Washington or at the range. I have - heard that one or two raw eggs per day per calf will preserve them, - and it looks reasonable. Smith and Jones will have them ready - loaded for you for the next fast freight west. I hope you'll enjoy - your trip!" - -Well, you may have listened to the plaintive beller of a single caff at -weanin' time, 'r perhaps to the symferny that emanates from the pen of -three 'r four. Furder'n this the experience of most don't go. Hence, I -don't hope to give yeh any idee of the sound that eckered over northern -Illinois from them two cars o' motherless waifs. The cry of the orphan -smote the air in a kind of endless chain o' noise that at two blocks off -sounded like a chorus of steam calliopes practicin' holts at about -middle C. Nothin' like it had ever been heared of or done in Chicago, -an' stockmen, an' reporters, an' sight-seers swarmed around wantin' to -know what I was a-goin' to do with the foundlin's--an' I wa'nt in any -position to be interviewed, with the Chicago papers due in Chamberlain -before I was. I'd 'ave had a dozen scraps if it hadn't been f'r the -fear of bein' arrested. But with the beef issue comin' on a-pacin', I -had to pass up luxuries involvin' delay. I sot in the caboose, an object -of the prurient curiosity of the train-crew ontil we got to Elgin 'r -som'eres out there, where I contracted eight cases of eggs an' one of -nervous prostration. - -Here it was I begun ministering to the wants of my travelin' orphan -asylum. They was from four hours to as many days old when the accident -of birth put 'em under my fosterin' care. I knowed that it was all -poppy-cock givin' dairy 'r breedin' herds to them Injuns, an' that these -would do as well f'r their uses, 'sif they had real mothers instid o' -one as false as I felt. But to look upon 'em as they appeared in the -cars, would 'ave give that consciencious but onsophisticated inspector -the jimjams. Part of 'em was layin' down, an' the rest trampin' over -'em, an' every one swellin' the chorus o' blats that told o' hunger an' -unhappiness. I took a basket of eggs an' went in among 'em, feelin' like -a animal trainer in a circus parade as the Reubens gethered around the -train, an' business houses closed f'r the show. I waited till the train -pulled out, an' begun my career as nurse-maid-in-gineral. - -"How cruel!" said the Bride. - -"Thanks," said Aconite. "It shore was!" - -Ever try to feed a young caff? Ever notice how they faint with hunger -before you begin, an' all at once develop the strength of a hoss when -you stand over 'em an' try to hold their fool noses in the pail? Ever -see a caff that couldn't stand alone, run gaily off with a -two-hundred-an'-fifty-pound farmer, poisin' a drippin' pail on his nose, -an' his countenance a geyser of milk? Well, then you can form some faint -idee of the practical difficulty of inducin' a caff, all innercent o' -the world an' its way o' takin' sustenance, to suck a raw egg. But -nothin' but actual experience can impart any remote approach to a notion -o' what it means to incorporate the fruit o' the nest with the bossy -while bumpin' over the track of a northern Iowa railroad in a freight -car, movin' at twenty-five miles an hour. I used up two cases of eggs -before I was sure of havin' alleviated one pang of hunger, such was the -scorn my kindly offers was rejected with. The result was astoundin'. -Them cars swept through the country, their decks slippery with yaller -gore, an' their lee scuppers runnin' bank-full, as the sailors say, with -Tom-an'-Jerry an' egg shampoo. An' all the time went on that symferny -of blats, risin' an' fallin' on the prairie breeze as we rolled from -town to town, a thing to be gazed at an' listened to an' never forgot; -to be side-tracked outside city limits f'r fear of the Board of Health -and the S. P. C. A., an' me ostrichized by the very brakey in the -caboose as bein' unfit f'r publication, an' forced to buy a mackintosh -to wrap myself in before they'd let me lay down on their old seats to -sleep. An' when my visions revorted back to the Oberlin people, I -couldn't dream o' that yaller hair even, without its seemin' to float -out, an' out, an' out into a sea of soft-boiled, in which her an' me was -strugglin', to the howlin' of a tearin' tempest of blats. - -"And next when Aconite he rides," remarked the Poet, "may I be there to -see!" - - * * * * * - -At last we arrived at Chamberlain. An' here's where the head-end -collision of principles comes in, that I mentioned a while ago. Here's -where Aconite Driscoll, who for days had been givin' a mother's care to -two hundred cavvs, was condemned f'r cruelty; an' when he'd been -strainin' every nerve an' disturbin' the egg market to keep from bustin' -a set of concealed claws in a gover'ment contract, he was banished as -an eggcessory to the crime of bilkin' poor Lo. This tradegy happens out -west o' the river at the Issue House. - -Reddy had a string of wagons with hog-racks onto 'em waitin' in the -switch-yards when we whistled in, an' the way we yanked them infants off -the cars and trundled 'em over the pontoon bridge, an' hit the trail f'r -the Issue House, was a high-class piece o' teamin'. We powdered across -the country like the first batch of sooners at a reservation openin'. -Out on the prairie was Reddy an' his punchers, slowly dribblin' the last -of his steers into the delivery, too anxious f'r me an' the cavvs to be -ashamed of their emaciation. Out behind a butte, he had concealed a -bunch of cow-stuff he'd deppytized as mothers _pro tem_ to my waifs. The -right way t've done, o' course, would've been to incorporated the two -bunches in a unassumin' way at a remoter place, an' drove 'em gently in -as much like cattle o' the same family circles as yeh could make 'em -look. But they wan't time. The end-gates was jerked out, an' the wagons -ongently emptied like upsettin' a sleigh comin' home from spellin' -school. Most all the orphans could an' did walk, an' I was so tickled at -this testimonial to the egg-cure f'r youthful weakness, that we had 'em -half way to the place where the knives o' their owners-elect was a -waitin' 'em when I looked around an' seen Miss Ainsley, an' the -Chamberlain lady she was a-stayin' with, standin' where they must 'a' -seen the way we mussed the cavvs hair up in gettin' of 'em on the -ground. - -Gladys' eyes was a-blazin', an' they was a red spot in each cheek. She -seemed sort o' pressin' forwards, like she wanted to mix it up, an' her -lady friend was tryin' to head her off. I saw she didn't recognize me, -an' I didn't thirst f'r recognition. I knew that love ain't so blind as -she's been advertised, an' that I wouldn't never, no, never, be a -nater's nobleman no more if she ever tumbled to the fact that the human -omelette runnin' this caff business was A. Driscoll. It was only a case -of sweet-gal-graduate palpitation o' the heart anyhow, an' needed the -bronzed cheek, the droopin' mustache, the range clo'es, the deadly gun, -the diamond hitch, and the centaur biz to keep it up to its wonted palp. - -An' what was it that was offered to the gaze o' this romantic piece o' -calicker? Try to rearlize the truth in all its heejusness. Here was the -aforementioned Driscoll arrayed in what was once an A1 fifteen-dollar -suit of clay-worsteds, a good biled shirt, an' a new celluloid collar. -But how changed from what had been but three short days ago the -cinnersure of the eye of every sure-thing or conman on South Halsted -Street? Seventy-five per cent. of eight cases of eggs had went billerin' -over him. The shells of the same clung like barnacles to his apparel. -His curlin' locks was matted an' mucilaged like he'd made a premature -getaway from some liberal-minded shampooer; an' from under his beetlin' -brows that looked like birds' nests from which broods had just hatched, -glared eyes with vi'lence an' crime in every glance. Verily, Aconite was -a beaut! An' here, a-comin' down upon him like the angel o' the Lord on -the Assyrian host, come a starchy, lacey, filmy, ribbiny gal, that had -onst let him hold her hand, by gum! her eyes burnin' with vengeance, an' -that kinder corn-shucky rustlin' that emanated mysterious from her dress -as she walked, a drawin' nearder an' nearder every breath. - -"Gladys! Gladys!" says her lady friend. An' as Gladys slowed up, she -says, lower: "I wouldn't interfere in this if I were you, dear!" - -"I must!" says Gladys. "It's my duty! I can't permit dumb animals to be -treated so without a protest. It is civic cowardice not to do -disagreeable things for principle. I wish to speak to the man in -charge, please!" - -I kep' minglin' with the herd, not carin' to have disagreeable things -done to me for principle, but she cuts me out, an' says, says she, "Do -you know that there's a law against cruelty to dumb animals?" - -"They ain't dumb," says I, trying to change my voice, an' officin' up to -Reddy to shove 'em along to their fate while I held the foe in play. -"When you've associated with these cute little cusses as long an' -intermately as I have, ma'am, you'll know that they have a language an' -an ellerquence all their own, that takes 'em out of the pervisions o' -that law you speak of, an'--" - -Here's where I overplays my hand, an' lets her get onto the genuyne -tones of my voice. I ortn't to done this, f'r she'd heared it at close -range. An' to make a dead cinch out of a good gamblin' proposition, I -looked her in the eyes. It was all off in a breath. She give a sort of -gasp as if somethin' cold had hit her, an' went petrified, sort o' slow -like. - -"Oh!" says she, turnin' her head to her friend. "I understand now what -it was your husband was laughing about, and his odious jokes about -fooling the inspector; and the bearing of the article he showed us in -the Chicago paper! O, Mr. Driscoll, you to be so cruel; and to impose -these poor motherless creatures upon those ignorant Indians, who are -depending upon their living and becoming the nucleus of their pastoral -industry; and the first step to a higher civilization! I don't wonder -that you look guilty, or try--" - -"I don't!" says I, f'r I didn't, as fer as the stock was concerned. -"It's these here eight cases of eggs that make me look so. It's a matter -o' clo's. An' the reds'll never raise cattle," says I, "or anything but -trouble, in God's world. An' if these cavvs had as many mothers as a -Mormon kid," I went on, "they'd be no better f'r stew!" - -"Mr. Driscoll," says she, "don't ever speak to me again. I shall expose -this matter to the inspector!" - -I tried to lift my hat, but it was stuck to my hair; an' the sight of me -pullin' desperately at my own head had some effect on her, f'r she flees -to her friend, actin' queer, but whuther laffin' 'r cryin' I couldn't -say, an' I don't s'pose she could. It's immaterial anyway, the main -p'int bein' that her friend's husband, a friend of the senator's, -persuaded her from havin' us all pinched, when she found that Reddy'd -beat her to it with the cavvs, the last one of which was expirin' under -the squaws' hatchets as she hove in sight of the issue, an' the -soup-kittles was all a-steamin. It reely was too late to do anything, I -guess. - -That night I slep' in Oacoma jail. You naturally gravitate that way when -fate has ground you about so fine, an' you begin to drift with the -blizzard. I could 'a' stood the throw-down, but to be throwed down in a -heap with eggs an' dirty clo'es, was too much. I took that suit an' made -a bundle of it, an' out on the pontoon bridge I poked it into the -Missouri with a pole. They're usin' the water to settle coffee with, I'm -told, as fur down as Saint Joe, to this day--'s good as the whites of -eggs, the cooks say. Then, havin' wired my resignation to Elkins, -feelin' that the world held no vocation f'r me but the whoop-er-up -business, I returned to the west side of the river as the only place -suited to my talons, an' went forth to expel the eggs an' tender -memories from my system with wetness. I broke jail in the mornin' but in -a week I come to myself ag'in on the same ol' cot in the same -prehistoric calaboose, an' Mr. Elkins was keepin' the flies off me with -one o' them brushes made of a fringed newspaper tacked to a stick. - -"I've come," says he, "to take you home, Aconite." - -"All right," says I, "but can you fix it up with the authorities?" - -"I'm just going over to get your discharge," replies he. "They seem -quite willing to part with you, now that they discover that none of your -victims have anything deeper than flesh wounds. I've give bonds not to -let you have your guns this side of the Stanley County line. I'll be -back in half-an-hour with the horses." - -An' here's where I had a narrow escape. I wouldn't have faced her, the -girl, you know, f'r no money; but as Jim went away, right at the door I -seen through a little winder a shimmerin' of white and blue. It was her, -herself! She must have met Jim before, f'r I heared her speak his name -an' mine. He seemed to be perlitely arguin' with her; an' then she went -away with him. I breathed easier to see her go; an' then set down an' -cried like a baby. A feller'll do that easy, when he's been on a tear, -you know. - -Jim an' I rode all that day sayin' never a word. But when we'd turned -in that night I mentioned the matter. - -"Mr. Elkins," says I, "she sure has got it in f'r me pretty strong, to -foller me to jail to jump on me!" - -"Aconite," says he, "I'll not deceive you. She has. Forget it!" - - * * * * * - -"Good night, Aconite," said the Bride. "I forgive you--and I think I -know just how that girl felt toward you!" - - - - -CHAPTER XIII - - -The Bride's luggage came down from Gardiner, that she might be arrayed -in her purple and fine linen--and silks, satins, ribbons, laces and -fallals--for the dinner. And then her heart failed her; and she took -counsel of the Groom. - -"Wear 'em!" said he. And she did. She floated into their banquet room in -a costume that would have been the envy of every woman in the room if -the function had been at one of the mansions along the Sheridan Road or -the Lake Shore Drive, instead of at the Mammoth Hot Springs Hotel. -Aconite gasped, wrenched for a moment at his new silk neckerchief of the -sort whose local color had won for him the Bride and Groom as fares, and -bowed as he backed into a corner, where the Hired Man joined him. But -after the Groom, the Artist and the Poet had made their appearance in -their outing suits, and the Colonel in nothing more formal than a black -frock, they gradually recovered, and were soon in the group which hung -about the Bride paying homage to those twin gods of all our adoration, -Beauty and Millinery. From soup to nuts they discussed their adventures, -and re-trod their marvelous road. As the Bride rose to withdraw when the -coffee and cigars were served, there was a loud adverse vivâ voce vote. -The Bride must stay; she had stayed at the camp-fire, and she should not -leave them in the banquet hall. So it was an unbroken circle that -listened to the last of the Yellowstone Nights' tales, as it fell from -the Poet's lips. The story was suggested, as most of its predecessors -had been, by the events of the day. They had seen antelope and elk and -deer as they drove in from Yancey's, and had talked of hunting -adventures and accidents. The Poet began by speaking of the way in which -men are sometimes the hunters, sometimes the hunted--quoting the lines -from Hiawatha, - - "The fiery eyes of Pauguk, - Glare upon him in the darkness." - -"Pauguk," said he, "is Death. And I will tell you the true story of how -a man stalked Pauguk through the Minnesota woods." - - -THE STALKING OF PAUGUK - -THE POET'S SECOND STORY - - -This story has been told elsewhere, and has been blamed for its lack of -a moral. People seem to expect one so to put to the rack the facts in -the case that they will shriek out some well-tried message. Some have -behaved as if they thought the moral here, but faulty. Colonel Loree of -the Solar Selling Company, however, thinks the affair rich in the -_hic-fabula-docet_ element. So does Williamson, soliciting-agent for the -Mid-Continent Life; and so--emphatically so--does the Mid-Continent -itself. Trudeau, the "breed" guide, has had so few years in which to -turn it over in his slow-moving mind as he has lain rolled in his -blankets while the snow sifted through the moaning pines, that he has -not made up his mind. As for Foster Van Dorn and Gwendolyn, their -opinions--but the story itself is not long. - -Williamson says that when he left Van Dorn's office with the -application, he was as near walking on air as insurance men ever are. -People had been so slow in writing their autographs on the dotted -line--and here was a six-figure application, with a check. These, -accompanied by the wide-eyed Williamson, exploded into the mid-December -calm of the agency headquarters like the news of a Tonopah strike in the -poker-playing ennui of a Poverty Flat. - -"What's that, Williamson?" ejaculated the cashier. "Five hundred--you -don't mean _thousand_?" - -"Why, confound you," sneered Williamson, "look at that application!" - -"Let me see it!" panted the manager, bursting in. "'Foster G. Van Dorn;' -half a million! Holy cat, Williamson; but this will put you and the -agency in the lead, for--Is he good for it, Williamson?" - -"Why don't you see that _check_?" inquired the lofty solicitor. "I tell -you, fellows, there's always a way to land any man. Why, for a year, -I've--by George! I'm forgetting to send Doctor Watson over to make the -examination. Van Dorn's going on a hunting trip, and we've got to -hustle, and get him nailed before he goes!" - -The manager stood by Williamson during the telephoning. "Who is Mr. Van -Dorn?" he asked, as the agent hung up the receiver. - -"President of the Kosmos Chemical Company," replied Williamson. -"Son-in-law and enemy of Colonel Loree of the Solar Selling Company, you -know," said the cashier. - -"Oh-h-h-h!" replied the manager, as if recalling something. "I remember -the 'romance' in the newspapers; but I thought the young fellow was -poor. Fixed it up with the colonel, I suppose--the usual thing." - -"Not on your life!" replied Williamson. "Loree would kill him if he -dared--old aristocrat, you know; but Van Dorn's too smart for him. You -remember he was an engineer for Loree's company, and met the daughter on -some inspection trip. Love at first sight--moonlight on the -mountains--runaway and wedding on the sly--father's curse--turned out to -starve, and all that." - -"I remember that," answered the manager; "but it doesn't seem to lead -logically up to this application." - -"Well," went on Williamson, "Van Dorn turns up with a company formed to -work a deposit of the sal-ammoniac, or asphaltum, or whatever the stuff -the Solar Company had cornered may be, and began trust-busting. The -colonel swore the new deposit really belonged to his company because Van -Dorn found it while in his employ, and called him all sorts of a -scoundrel. But the young man's gone on, all the same, floating his -company, and flying high." - -"I heard that Loree was sure to ruin him," interposed the cashier. - -"Ruin nothing!" said Williamson. "It was a case of the whale and the -swordfish. Van Dorn's got him licked--why, don't you see that check!" - -"That does look like success," replied the manager. "I hope his -strenuous life hasn't hurt his health--Watson is fussy about hearts and -lungs." - -"That's the least of my troubles," replied Williamson. "Van Dorn's an -athlete, and a first-class risk. There's nothing the matter with Van -Dorn!" - - * * * * * - -And yet, Trudeau the guide, far up in the Minnesota woods, looked at the -young man and wondered if there wasn't something the matter with Van -Dorn. They had come by the old "tote-road" to the deserted lumber-camp -armed and equipped to hunt deer. Most young men in Van Dorn's situation -were keen-eyed, eager for the trail and the chase--at least until tamed -by weariness. But Van Dorn was like a somnambulist. Once Trudeau had -left him behind on the road, and on retracing his steps to find him, had -discovered him standing by the path, gazing at nothing, his lips slowly -moving as if repeating something under his breath--and he had started as -if in fright at Trudeau's hail. He had been careful to give Trudeau his -card, and admonished him to keep it; but he seemed careless of all -opportunities of following up the acquaintance. Most of these city -hunters were anxious to talk; but what troubled Trudeau, was the manner -in which Van Dorn sat by the fire, wrote in a book from time to time, -and gazed into the flames. Now that they had reached the old camp, -Trudeau hoped that actual hunting would bring to his man's eyes the fire -of interest in the thing he had come so far to enjoy. - -"I'll fix up camp," said he. "If you like, you hunt. Big par_tie_ -Chicageau men ove' by lake--keep othe' way." - -"How far to their camp?" asked the fire-gazer. - -"'Bout two mile," answered Trudeau. - -"Chicago men?" queried Van Dorn. "How many?" - -"Mebbe ten," answered Trudeau; "mebbe six. She have car on track down at -depot. Big man--come ev'ry wintaire. Jacques Lacroix guide heem, Colonel -Lorie--big man!" - -"Colonel Loree! From Chicago?" cried Van Dorn. - -"_Oui_, yes!" replied Trudeau. "You know heem?" - -"No," said Van Dorn. - -The man who did not know Loree went to his knapsack and took out a -jacket made of deerskin tanned with the hair on. It was lined with red -flannel. He held it up and looked at it fixedly. Trudeau started as it -met his gaze, and he came up to Van Dorn and pointed to the garment. - -"You wear zat?" asked he. - -"Yes," said the other. "It is a good warm jacket." - -"A man w'at wear deerskin zhaquette," said Trudeau, "in zese wood', in -shoo_ting_ sea_sone_, sartaine go home in wooden ove'coat--sure's hell!" - -"Oh, I guess there's no danger!" said Van Dorn, his lips parting with a -mirthless smile. - -"_Non?_" queried Trudeau. "You ben in zese wood' before?" - -"Oh, yes!" replied Van Dorn. "Lots of times!" - -"Zen you know!" asserted Trudeau. "Zen you are zho_king_ wiz me. Zese -huntaire sink brown cloth coat, gray coat, black coat, anysing zat -move--she sink zem every time a deer. Las' wintaire lots men killed for -deer. Pete St. Cyr's boy kill deer, hang heem in tree, and nex' morning -take heem on back an' tote. A city huntaire see deer-hide wiz hair on -mov_ing_, an him! sof'-nose bullet go thoo deer, thoo Pete St. Cyr's -boy's head! Zat zhaquette damn-fool thing!" - -"It goes either side out," said the hunter. "I can turn it, you know." - -"_I_ turn heem! _I_ turn heem!" said Trudeau, suiting the action to the -word. "Red is bettaire, by gosh--in zese wood'." - -Trudeau watched his companion as he made his laborious way through the -cut-over chaos until he disappeared; but he did not see him pause when -out of sight of camp, and turn toward the lake. - -"I would rather it were any one else," said Van Dorn, as if to something -that walked by his side; "but what difference does it make? Why not let -him finish his work?" - -The sheer difficulty of the country brought back to Van Dorn something -like the forester's alertness. The lust for lumber had ravaged the spiry -forest, and left, inextricably tangled, the wrecks of the noble -trees--forest maidens whose beauty had been their destruction; only -the crooked and ugly having escaped. So deep and complex was the -wreckage that it seemed like the spilikins of a giants' game of -jack-straws--gnarled logs, limbs like _chevaux-de-frise_, saplings and -underbrush growing up through chaos. And spread over and sifted through -all was the snow, as light as down. - -Van Dorn must have told the truth as to his former visits; for he went -on like one used to this terrible maze. Nowhere could he take three -steps straight forward: it was always climbing up, or leaping down, or -going around, or crawling under. Here thick leaves upheld the snow, and -in the dry pine straw on the ground he could hear the forest mice rustle -and scurry. There a field was smoothed over by the snow, as a trap is -hidden by sand, covering débris just high enough to imperil the limbs of -the pedestrian. Yonder was a tamarack swamp too thick to be pierced: and -everywhere it was over and under and up and down, and desperately hard, -for miles and miles, with no place for repose. - -He gazed away over the strange abomination of desolation, blindly -reflecting upon man's way of coming, doing his worst, and passing on -with sated appetite, leaving ruin--as he had done here. He wondered why -that tall tract of virgin pine over at the right had been allowed to -escape, standing against the sky like a black wall, spiked with tall -rampikes. He stared fixedly at the snow, the blue shadows, the black -pines, somnambulistic again. - -To the something that seemed to walk by his side, he spoke of these -things, as if it had been visible. Strange actions, strange thoughts for -the president of the Kosmos Chemical Company, the great antagonist of -Loree of the Solar Selling Company, the David to Loree's Goliath, the -swordfish to the colonel's whale! Think, however, of David, with all the -stones spent against the giant's buckler, and cowering within the lethal -reach of that spear like a weaver's beam; or of the swordfish, with -broken weapon, hunted to the uttermost black depths by the oncoming -silent yawning destruction. And in Van Dorn's case, the enemy was an -avenger as well as a natural foe. - -Poor little Kosmos Chemical Company with its big name, its great -deposits of "a prime commercial necessity"--see prospectus--its -dependence on railways with which Loree was on terms of which Van Dorn -never dreamed, its old and wily foe, skilled to snatch victory from the -jaws of defeat, raging for the loss of his ewe lamb, whom, -notwithstanding his giantship, he had loved for twenty years to Van -Dorn's two, and had dreamed dreams and committed crimes for! Not very -strange after all, perhaps, that the man went on muttering -somnambulistically. They say that one gripped in the lion's mouth is -numb and filled with delusions. - -Suddenly, putting life into the dead scene, a bounding form came into -view past a thicket--a noble buck with many-pointed antlers, moving with -great deliberate leaps among the giants' spilikins. The delicate, glassy -hoofs, the slender, brittle limbs and horns, fragile as china, seemed -courting destruction in those terrific entanglements. Yet the beautiful -animal, as if by some magic levitation, rose lightly from a perilous -crevice between two logs, turned smoothly in mid-leap, struck the four -pipe-stem limbs into the only safe landing-place, shot thence with -arrowy spring between two bayonet-like branches to another foothold, and -so on and on, every rod of progress a miracle. - -He stopped, snuffing the air. Instinctively the hunter leveled his -rifle; and then came into view the buck's retinue, two does, one large -and matronly, the other a last summer's fawn. The sleep-walker's eyes -softened, the rifle swung downward from the point-blank aim, snapping a -twig in its descent, and with swift, mighty bounds, the deer vanished, -putting a clump of bushes between themselves and the foe with unerring -strategy. - -"Toward the lake," said the hunter. "I'll follow!" - -There came the report of a distant rifle from the direction of the -deer's flight, then another and another. Some one was working a repeater -rapidly. The hunter stopped, took off his deerskin jacket, turned it -hair side out, and like a soldier making for the firing-line, pressed -forward after the deer. - -Trudeau saw his man halt on the edge of the firelight that evening, turn -his jacket, and come weariedly into camp. Trudeau sat and thought that -night, while the other slept heavily. Next morning there was a raging -storm, and the guide was puzzled that the hunter refused to brave its -dangers. It was not sure then that monsieur desired the wooden overcoat? -He told Van Dorn many stories of death in these storms, and watched for -the effect. - -"W'en man is lost in bliz_zaird_," said Trudeau, "ze vidow mus' wait an' -wait, an' mebbe nevaire know if he is vidow or not." - -"It would be better," said the other reflectively, "to have the proof -ample--ample!" - -Trudeau, pondering over this, watched his charge putting names in a book -opposite amounts in figures; but he did not know that here was the lost -fortune of an old aunt, there the savings of a college chum. Van Dorn -looked them over calmly as if it had been a bills-payable sheet to be -paid in the morning. Then the strange pleasure-hunter began writing a -letter to a sweetheart to whom he seemed to be able to say only that he -loved her better than life, that she must try to love his memory, and to -train up the baby to respect his name, that the right thing is not -always easy to discern, that sometimes one has only a choice of evils, -that when a man has made a mess of it which he can straighten out by -stepping off the stage, he might as well do it--and that he had had his -share of happiness since she had been with him anyhow, and was far ahead -of the game! Trudeau could not know what a foolish, silly, tragic letter -it was, this product of insane commercialism. He thought life and the -woods enough, and wondered at the shaking of the man's shoulders, and -was amazed to see the tears dropping through his fingers as he bowed his -head upon his hands--a man with a fifty-dollar sleeping-bag! - -Over at the Loree headquarters there were roaring fires, fresh venison, -a skilful chef, jolly companions, and the perfection of camp-life. The -storm cleared. That strong old hunter, Loree, declaring that his -business was to stalk deer, marched off in the solitary quest which is -the only thing that brings the haunch to the spit in the Minnesota -cut-over forest. He was bristly bearded, keen of eye and vigorous, -handled his gun cannily, and craftily negotiated the fallen and tangled -timbers, his glance sweeping every open vista for game. There was no -time to think of anything but the making of his way, and of the chase. -Troubles and triumphs retired to the outer verge of consciousness. -Primeval problems claimed his thoughts, and the primeval man rose to -meet them. It was in this ancient and effective wise that he had -sharpened his weapons, set his snares, and hunted down Foster Van -Dorn--and left him in the money-jungle, apparently unhurt, but really -smitten to the heart and staggering to his fall. It was the Loree way. -As an old hunter, he knew just where his shaft had struck, and how long -the quarry could endure the hemorrhage. Had he not said that the fellow -should be made to rue the Loree displeasure? - -Like a flash these half-thoughts became no thoughts, as a dark blotch -caught his eye, far off on the snow, beyond a little thicket. - -"What is that?" he said to himself. It is a little hard to say, but the -matter is worth looking into. Just the color of a deer! Just where a -deer would rest! We must work up the wind a little closer, for some men -are so foolish as to wear those duns and browns; but that!--that is a -deer's coat. It won't do to jump him and trust a shot as he goes--those -firs will hide him at the first leap. A long shot at a standing -target--there! He moved! There's not a second to lose! - -A long shot, truly; but that graceful rifle thinks nothing of half a -mile. There are many intervening bushes and saplings; but the -steel-jacketed bullet would kill on the farther side of the thickest -pine, and even a soft-nosed one will cut cleanly to this mark. The -colonel's practised left hand immovably supported the barrel; the -colonel's keen eye through the carefully adjusted sights saw plainly the -blotch of deerskin down the little glade; and the colonel's steady -forefinger confidently pressed the lightly-set trigger. Spat! The -colonel felt the rifleman's delicious certitude that his bullet had -found its mark, threw in another shell, and stood tensely ready to try -the bisecting of the smitten deer's first agonized bound--but the blur -of fur just stirred a little, and slipped down out of sight. - -Panting in the killer's frenzy, Loree struggled over the débris to -reach his game. How oddly the deer had fallen! Heart, or brain, likely; -as it went down like a log. Here was the thicket, and on the other -side--yes, a patch of reddened snow, and the body of--no, not a deer, -but a man, dead, it seemed, clad in a deerskin jacket, a rifle by his -side and in his hand a note-book full of figures, its pages all stained -and crumpled! - -There was a shout in the far distance, but Loree heard it not. He knew -his solitude, and never looked for aid. The white strangeness of the -face of the man he had shot overcame the sense of something familiar in -it; and the colonel, after a moment's scrutiny of it, addressed himself -frantically to the stanching of the blood. A deep groan seemed to -warrant hope; and stooping beneath the body Loree took it up and began -bearing it toward the camp. He had an overwhelming consciousness of the -terrible task before him; but the realization of the human life dashed -out, some home blasted, some infinity of woe, and the bare chance of -rescue rolled sickeningly over him, and he set his teeth and attacked -the task like an incarnate will. - -Logs and boughs and dead-wood held him back; countless obstacles -exhausted him. He felt like crying out in agony as he realized that his -age was telling against him. He felt strangely tender at this meeting -with death in its simple and more merciful form. He clenched his teeth -hard, felt his heart swell as if to burst, his lungs labor in agonized -heavings--and when Trudeau the guide overtook him, he found him a -frenzied man, covered with dark streaks and splashes of blood, -unconquerably hurling upon his impossible task his last reserves of -strength, with all that iron resolution with which he had beaten down -resistance in his long battle with a relentless world. - -"For God's sake," he panted hoarsely, "help me get him to camp! We've -got a doctor there!" - - * * * * * - -"How's the colonel?" said the doctor, when he had done all he could for -the colonel's victim. - -"Knocked all to pieces," answered a young man. "Wants to know if we've -found out who the man is." - -Colonel Loree was interrogating Trudeau; surprised that he did not know -the name of the wounded man. - -"_Non_," answered Trudeau, "she tell me his name, and give me _carte_, -but I lose heem an' forget firs' day. Remember wood', remember trail, -remember face ver' well--but name; she I forget. She write lettaire an' -cry, an' all time put fig' in book. Zis is heem; mebbe _she_ tell name!" - -The smutched names were strange to the colonel; but on another page -there were some inexplicable references to Kosmos Chemical affairs; and -on the cover were dim initials that looked like "F. V. D." - -"I know something is wrong," went on Trudeau; "for I tell her it ben -_très dangéreuse_ to wear deerskin zhaquette in zese wood' in shoo_ting_ -sea_sone_. I turn zhaquette red out. She go toward your camp. I watch. I -see her turn heem hair out. I tell you, messieurs, zat man want to go -home in wooden ove'coat. She have hungaire to die." - -"Here's a letter we found in his pocket," said the young man. "Look at -it, Colonel." - -The colonel looked, saw his daughter's name, remembered the familiar -look in the white, agonized, pitiful face; and saw the whole situation -as by some baleful flash-light. - -"Good God! Good God!" he cried. "It's Van Dorn! Get things ready to -carry him in his bed to the car--quick, Johnson! And get to the wire as -soon as you can. Have Tibbals bring Gwennie--Mrs. Van Dorn--to Duluth. -Wire the hospital there! You know what's needed--look after things -right, Johnson, for I think--I think--I'm going mad, old man!" - - * * * * * - -Mrs. Van Dorn ran into her father's arms in the hospital anteroom. -Through mazes of frenzied anxiety she felt an epoch open in her life -with that embrace from the father who had put her out of his life for -ever, as they thought. - -"Dear, dear papa!" she whispered, "let me go to Foster, quick!" - -"Not just now, Gwennie, little girl," said he, patting her shoulder. -"He's asleep. Did you bring the--the baby?" - -"No, no! I thought--but Foster?" cried Gwendolyn. "Will he--will he--" - -"He'll live, by Heaven!" cried the colonel. "I fired one fool for -hinting that he wouldn't; and now they're all sure he'll pull through. -Why, he's got to live, Gwennie!" - -The colonel reached for his handkerchief, much hampered by Gwendolyn's -arms. - -"And when he's well," said he, "I want your help--in a business way. I'm -too old to fight a man like Foster. He's got me down, Gwennie--beaten me -to earth. If he won't come in with me, it's all up with the Solar. He's -a fine fellow, Gwen--I--like him, you know--but he don't know how hard -he hits. You'll help your old dad, won't you, Gwennie?" - -To this point had the appeal of concrete, piteous need brought Colonel -Loree, the ferocious, whose heart had never once softened while he did -so much more cruel things than the mere shooting of Van Dorn. It broke -Gwendolyn's heart afresh. - -"Oh, don't papa!" she cried. "I can't sta-stand it! He sha'n't use his -strength against you! I'll be on your side. He's generous, papa--he -wanted to name baby Loree--and, oh, I must go to him, papa! I can't -wait!" - - * * * * * - -The cigars had burned out, and the coffee cups and their saucers were -messy with ashes. The Hired Man nodded in his chair. Aconite was slowly -formulating some comment on the Poet's story--when the Bride rose. - -"You've all been awfully nice to me," said she, "and I feel almost weepy -when I think of never seeing you again. So I am not going to think of -it. I shall hope to meet you," said she to Aconite, "in the stories -which my friends bring back from the Park--for I'm going to tell them -all to come, and to ride with you, and learn about Old Jim Bridger. And -you, Mr. Bill, I shall see when I pass through the corn country -sometime--I feel sure of it. You will be plowing corn, and I shall wave -my hand from the car window as you look up at the speeding train. I -shall always see a friend in every plowman now. And you, sir, I shall -watch for in the Poet's Corner of the Hall of Fame; and you in the -Artist's alcove. And, Colonel, I know I shall see you sometime, for -every one passes through Omaha sooner or later. Good-by, and God bless -you, every one! We have made a continued story of our trip--for that, -thanks to all, and now let us close the book, after writing - - -THE END - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Yellowstone Nights, by Herbert Quick - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YELLOWSTONE NIGHTS *** - -***** This file should be named 40587-8.txt or 40587-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/5/8/40587/ - -Produced by Greg Bergquist, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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