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diff --git a/40495-0.txt b/40495-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5aeecec --- /dev/null +++ b/40495-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11212 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40495 *** + +Transcriber's Note: + + Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original book have + been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. + The book frequently omits punctuation before quotes. The punctuation + has been retained as in the original. The length and spacing of + ellipses (...) has also been retained as printed. + + There is no Chapter IV. + + Italic text is denoted by _underscores_. + + + + + [Illustration: _Elizabeth_.] + + + + + THE + ORDEAL OF + ELIZABETH + + + NEW YORK + GROSSET & DUNLAP + PUBLISHERS + + + + + COPYRIGHT, 1901, BY + J. F. TAYLOR AND + COMPANY, NEW YORK + + + + + THE ORDEAL + OF + ELIZABETH + + + + +_Chapter I_ + + +The Van Vorst Homestead stands close to the road-side; a dark, +low-built, gloomy old place. The horse-shoe on the door, testifies to +its age, and the devout superstition of the Van Vorst who built it. +However effectual against witches, the horse-shoe cannot be said to +have brought much luck otherwise. The Van Vorsts who lived there, a +junior branch of the old colonial house, did not prosper in worldly +matters, but sank more and more as time went on, in general respect +and consideration. + +There was a break in the deterioration, and apparently a revival of +old glories, when Peter Van Vorst married his cousin, a brilliant +beauty from town, who had refused, as tradition asserts, half the +eligible men of her day, and accepted Peter for what seemed a sudden +and mysterious caprice. The marriage was a nine days' wonder; but +whatever the reasons that prompted her strange choice--whether love, +indifference, or some feeling more complicated and subtle; Elizabeth +Van Vorst made no effort to avert its consequences, but settled down +in silence to a life of monotonous poverty. She did not even try, as +less favored women have done under harder circumstances, to keep in +touch with the world she had given up. She never wrote to her old +friends, never recalled herself, by her presence in town, to her +former admirers. As for the Homestead, it wore, under the inert +indifference of her rule, the same neglected look which had prevailed +for years. The foliage grew in rank profusion about the house till it +shut out not only the sunlight, but all view of the river. Perhaps +Madam Van Vorst, as people called her, disliked the idea of change; or +perhaps she grudged the cost of a day's labor to cut the trees; or it +might be that she liked the gloom and the feeling of confinement, and +had no desire to feast her eyes on the river, after the fashion of the +Neighborhood. It reminded her too much, perhaps, of the outside world. + +She was a stately, handsome old lady, and made an imposing appearance +when she came into church on Sunday, in the black silk gown which +rustled with an old-time dignity, and her puffs of snow-white hair +standing out against the rim of her widow's bonnet. Her daughters, +following timidly behind her, seemed to belong to a different sphere; +dull, faded women, in shabby gowns which the village girls would have +disdained. If you spoke to them after church, when the whole +Neighborhood exchanges greetings and discusses the news of the week, +they would answer you shyly, in embarrassed monosyllables. Still, in +some intangible way, you felt the innate breeding, which lurked behind +all the uncouthness of voice and manner. + +Their life, under their mother's training, had been one long lesson in +self-effacement; they never even drove to the village without +consulting her, or bought a spool of cotton without her permission. +The stress of poverty, as time went on, grew less stringent at the +Homestead; but with Madam Van Vorst the penury which had been first +the result of necessity, had grown to be second nature. She let the +money accumulate and made no change in their manner of life. Her +daughters had no books, no teachers; no occupation but house-work; no +interest beyond the petty gossip of the country-side. + +With Peter, the son, the downward process was more evident and had +taken deeper root. His voice was more uncouth than that of his sisters +and his manner less refined; it was hard to distinguish him if you saw +him in church, from any farmer, ill at ease in his Sunday clothes. He +spent his days at work on the farm, and his evenings, more often than +his mother dreamed of, at the bar in the village. Like his sisters, he +bowed beneath her iron rod and lived in mortal fear of her +displeasure. Yet he had his plans, well defined, and frequently +boasted (at least at the village bar) of what he should do when he +became his own master. + +With the sisters a certain inborn delicacy of feeling prevented them +from formulating, even to themselves, those hopes and aspirations +which, nevertheless, lay dormant, needing only a sudden shock to call +them into life. When that shock came, and it was known all over the +Neighborhood that Madam Van Vorst was dead, the news brought a mild +sense of loss, the feeling of a landmark removed; and people hastened +at once to the Homestead with sincere condolences and offers of +assistance to the daughters. Cornelia and Joanna were stunned, but not +entirely with sorrow; rather with the sort of feeling that a prisoner +might experience, who finds himself by a sudden blow, released from a +chain which habit has rendered bearable, and almost second nature, yet +none the less a chain. + +It was not till the evening after the funeral that this stifled +feeling found expression. The day had been fraught with a ghastly +excitement that seemed to give for the moment to these poor crushed +beings a fictitious importance. All the Neighborhood had come to the +funeral; some grand relations even had journeyed up from town to do +honor to the woman whom they had ignored in her lifetime; these last +lingered for a solemn meal at the Homestead. The whole affair seemed +to bring the Van Vorst women more in contact with the outside world +than any event since their father's death, many years before. Sitting +that evening, talking it all over, it might have been some festivity +that they were discussing, were it not for their crape-laden gowns, +and the tears they were still shedding half mechanically, though with +no conscious insincerity. + +"It was kind of the Schuyler Van Vorsts to come up," said Cornelia, +wistfully. "I thought they had quite forgotten us--they are such fine +people, you know--but they were really very kind, quite as if they +took an interest." + +"I'm glad the cake was so good," said the practical Joanna. "I took +special pains with it, for I thought some of them might stay." + +"It went off very nicely," said Cornelia, tearfully, "very nicely +indeed. Mrs. Schuyler Van Vorst spoke of the cream being so good." + +"She ate a good deal of it, I noticed." + +"One thing I was sorry for," said Cornelia, reluctantly. "I saw her +looking at the furniture. You know poor Mamma never would have +anything done to it." + +The sisters looked mechanically about the familiar room whose +deficiencies had never been so glaringly apparent. The Homestead +drawing-room had been re-furnished, with strict regard to economy many +years ago, after a fashion too antiquated to be beautiful, and too +modern to be interesting. The chairs and sofa were covered with +horse-hair, and decorated, at intervals, with crochet anti-macassars. +In the centre of the room stood a marble-topped table, upon which were +ranged, at stiff angles, the Pilgrim's Progress, Paradise Lost, and +several books of sermons. There were no other books and no pretty +knick-knacks; but some perennially blooming wax flowers, religiously +preserved beneath a glass case, contrasted with the chill marble of +the mantel-piece. Above them hung one of the few relics of the past--a +hideous sampler worked by a colonial ancestress. The room was much the +worse for wear, the wall-paper was dingy, the carpet faded to an +indefinite hue, some of the chairs were notoriously unsafe, and the +sofa had lacked one foot for years. + +"I think," said Cornelia, with sudden energy, as if roused at last to +the truth of a self-evident proposition, "I think it is about time +that the room was done over." + +Joanna attempted no denial; but after a moment she remarked +tentatively, as if balancing the claims of beauty against those of +economy; "Some pretty sateen, I suppose, for a covering would not cost +much." + +Cornelia shook her head with melancholy decision. "It would be quite +useless to do anything with the furniture," she declared, "if we +didn't first change the carpet and the wall-paper." + +Joanna was silent in apparent acquiescence; and Cornelia, after a +moment's hesitation, brought out a still bolder proposition. "I've +been thinking," she said "that we ought to have a piano. Of course I +can't--we can't either of us play," she went on in hurried deprecation +of Joanna's astonished looks, "poor Mamma would never let us take +lessons; but people have them whether they play or not, and--it would +give such a nice, musical look to the room." + +Joanna sat lost for a moment in awe over this radical suggestion. "It +would be very expensive," she said, practically "and--there are a +great many things we need more." + +But the more imaginative Cornelia refused to be daunted. "What if it +is expensive!" she said boldly "and if we don't actually need it, +that's all the more reason why it would be nice to have it. We've +never spent money on a single thing in all our lives except for just +what was necessary. Couldn't we for once have something that isn't +necessary, that would be only--pleasant?" + +Thus Cornelia struck the key-note of resistance to that doctrine of +utility which had enslaved their lives, and Joanna, after the first +shock of surprise, followed willingly in her lead. It was decided that +the piano should be bought at once, and in discussing this and other +changes, time passed rapidly, and they went to bed in a state of duly +suppressed, but undoubted cheerfulness. It was altogether quite the +pleasantest evening that they had spent for many years, though they +would not have admitted this for the world, and sincerely believed +themselves in great affliction. There was another being in the house +who rejoiced in his freedom and meant to make the most of it. + +The next morning at breakfast the sisters might have perceived had +they been less engrossed in their own thoughts, that Peter was +meditating some communication, which he found it hard to express. His +words, when he spoke at last, chimed in oddly with his sisters' +wishes. "I never," he said, speaking very deliberately and looking +about him in great disgust, "I never saw a place that needed doing +over so badly as this does." + +There was a moment's pause of astonishment; and then Cornelia looked +up in glad surprise. "Why, Peter," she said, "I had no idea that you +would care"-- + +"Care!" said Peter, importantly. "Of course I care. I've always meant +to have the place fixed up when--well, she couldn't live for ever, you +know" he broke off half apologetically, as he caught the look of mute +protest on his sisters' faces. "It did all very well for her and for +you," he went on, coolly, "but it's not the sort of place I can bring +my wife to." The last words came out with an air of indifference, that +might have befitted the most commonplace announcement. + +Upon Peter's hearers, however, they fell like a thunderbolt. It was +several minutes before Cornelia repeated, in a very low voice: + +"Your--your _wife_, Peter?" + +"Yes, my wife." Peter rose and faced his sisters squarely, his hands +in his pockets. He thrust out his under lip, and his florid Dutch face +wore an expression of mingled defiance, exultation and embarrassment. +"Why, I've been married some time," he said. "You didn't suppose I was +going to stay single all my life, did you?" + +"But who--who"--Cornelia's mind, moving with unusual rapidity, had +already passed in review and rejected as improbable all the eligible +young women of the Neighborhood, with none of whom she had ever seen +Peter exchange two words. "Who can it be, Peter?" she concluded, +lamely. + +"Is it--any one we know?" chimed in Joanna, hopefully. + +Peter looked them full in the face; he had always held his sisters in +some contempt. "You know her well enough," he said, deliberately "or +if you don't--you ought to. She's a young lady who lives near here, +and her name is Malvina Jones." + +There was a dead silence. The old Dutch clock on the mantel-piece, +which had kept its place undisturbed through the trials and changes of +several generations, seemed to beat in the stillness loudly and +fiercely, almost as if it shared the consternation of Peter's sisters, +who stared at him aghast. Cornelia was the first to speak. "Malvina +Jones!" she repeated, slowly. "You don't mean the--the girl whose +father keeps the bar?" + +Peter flushed angrily. "There's only one Malvina Jones that I know of" +he declared, "and she's my wife and will be the mistress of this +house. And so, if you don't like it, you can leave--that's all I have +to say." + +With this conclusive remark Peter betook himself to his usual +avocations, and his sisters were left to resign themselves to the +situation as best they might. + +"Malvina Jones!" Joanna repeated, still lost in astonishment. + +"One of the village girls!" said Cornelia, bitterly, "a--a +bar-keeper's daughter." + +Joanna seemed to hesitate. "That isn't the worst of it," she said at +last. "There are some very nice girls in the village, you know, but +Malvina Jones is not--I'm afraid she really is _not_ a very nice +girl." + +Cornelia was silent. She knew enough of the petty gossip of the +village to be aware that Joanna was stating the case mildly. Before +her mental vision there rose a picture of Malvina as she had often +seen her on Sunday, with her glaring red hair, her smart attire and +her look of bold assurance, undisturbed by the disapproving eyes of +the congregation. Then she thought of her mother, the stately old dame +whom they had been so proud of, even while they feared her. She looked +at the breakfast-table, at the quaint, old-fashioned shapes of the +glistening silver and the Dutch willow-ware which had been in the +family since time immemorial; she thought with affection even of the +old horsehair furniture, which must surely be preferable to such +improvements as Malvina might suggest, and she pictured the +bar-keeper's daughter entertaining her friends in the room where Madam +Van Vorst had received with old-world stateliness the visits of the +Neighborhood. To poor Cornelia the family dignity--what little there +was left of it--seemed to be crumbling to ashes. + +"I don't think we need to bother now about--about the piano," she +said, and the words died away in a sob. + + + + +_Chapter II_ + + +It was a June morning twenty years later, and Elizabeth's hands were +full of June roses. + +"Look," she said, holding them out "how beautiful!" She placed them in +a flat china dish and proceeded to arrange them, humming, as she did +so, a gay little tune from some favorite opera of the day. The Misses +Van Vorst, her aunts, who had been talking rather seriously before the +girl entered, broke off in their conversation and brightened as they +watched her. + +There had been times in Elizabeth's childhood when the heart of each +sister had been contracted by a secret fear, which they concealed even +from one another, when they had offered up in seclusion fervent +prayers that certain hereditary characteristics might not be revived +in this treasure which fortune had unexpectedly bestowed upon them. +These prayers had been to all appearance more than answered. Elizabeth +did not look like her mother. It was true that the beautiful, wavy +hair, which grew in soft ripples on her forehead, showed in the full +glare of the sunshine or the firelight a trace, a suspicion of the +deep red which in her mother's locks had been unpleasantly vivid; but +with Elizabeth, it was a warm Titian shade which would delight an +artist. In other respects, it was her grandmother whom she resembled, +as very old people in the Neighborhood would sometimes inform you, +wondering to see the beauty and distinction which had perversely +skipped one generation, reproduced in this bar-maid's daughter. +Certainly it was from Madam Van Vorst that the girl inherited the +haughty turn of the head and the instinctive pride of carriage. The +older woman's beauty may have been more perfect. Elizabeth's features +were admittedly far from classical. Her nose tilted slightly, the chin +was too square, the red, pouting lips were perhaps a trifle too full. +But her skin was dazzlingly fair and fresh, and there was a glow of +color and wealth of outline about her which disarmed criticism. The +eyes, under their long lashes, were large and lustrous. Like her hair, +they varied in different lights, or perhaps it was in different moods. +They seemed a clear gray when she was thoughtful, blue when she +smiled, and they grew, in moments of grief or acute emotion, +singularly deep and dark. But such moments had, at this period of her +life, been rare. + +To her aunts, as they watched her that morning, she was the visible +embodiment of all those stifled aspirations, to which Peter's marriage +had apparently given a fatal blow. They could think now without +bitterness of that great humiliation, and if they spoke of their +brother's wife, it was with due propriety as "poor Malvina." They owed +her after all, a debt of gratitude, since she was Elizabeth's mother, +who had died most opportunely when Elizabeth was a baby. + +The girl had been their sole charge from the first, for Peter +concerned himself little about his motherless child. His death, when +she was still very young, could hardly be considered an unmitigated +affliction. As for Elizabeth, it was chiefly remarkable in being the +occasion of her first black frock, on the strength of which she gave +herself airs towards her less afflicted playmates. + +Thus the Misses Van Vorst were free to carry out certain cherished +plans in regard to their niece's future, which they had formed when, +hanging over her cradle, they had fondly traced a resemblance to the +grandmother after whom she had been named, through some odd, +remorseful freak of Peter's. Impelled, as she grew older, by a wistful +consciousness of all that they had missed, they heroically resigned +themselves to part with her for a while that she might enjoy the +advantages of a very select and extremely expensive school in town. +And after five years she returned to them, not over-burdened by much +abstruse knowledge, but with a graceful carriage, a charming +intonation, a considerable stock of accomplishments, and the prettiest +gowns of any girl in the Neighborhood. + +Her return was the signal for the changes at the Homestead, which now +made the old house a cheerful place to live in. The sunlight, no +longer excluded by the overgrown foliage, flooded the drawing-room, +and from the long French windows, opening out on the well-kept lawn, +you caught a charming glimpse of the river. The fire-place was +decorated in white and gold, the polished floor was strewn with rugs. +Amid the profusion of modern chairs and tables and bric-à-brac were +old heirlooms which had mouldered in the attic for generations, +un-thought of and despised, till Elizabeth routed them out and placed +them, rather to her aunts' surprise, in a conspicuous position. The +walls were hung with fine engravings, books and magazines were +scattered here and there. Across one corner stood the much-coveted +piano. + +The improvement was not confined to the furniture. The Misses Van +Vorst, too, seemed to have progressed and assumed a more modern air, +in harmony with their present surroundings. They were old women now, +and people of the present generation placed carefully the prefix +"Miss" before their Christian names; but in many ways, they were +younger and certainly far happier than they were twenty years before. +It was Elizabeth who had made the change, it was she who had filled +their narrow lives with a wonderful new interest. And yet, it was on +her account that they felt just then the one anxiety which disturbed +their satisfaction in the warmth of her youth and beauty, nay, was +rather intensified because of it. + +"We were saying, dear," Miss Cornelia could not help observing after a +moment "just as you came in, that it is a pity the Neighborhood is so +dull. There is so little amusement for a young girl." + +"We used to think it quite gay when we were young," said Miss Joanna, +her knitting-needles clicking cheerfully as she talked. "There was +always a lawn-party at the Van Antwerps', and Mrs. Courtenay was at +home every Saturday, and then the fair for the church." + +"But Mrs. Courtenay doesn't stay at home any longer," said Miss +Cornelia, dejectedly, "and the Van Antwerps haven't given a thing for +ever so long, and as for the fair--the church has everything it needs +now--steeple, font, everything, so there is no object in having a +fair." + +"And so few people to buy if there were," sighed Miss Joanna, becoming +despondent in her turn. "I quite miss it--I used to enjoy making +things for it. Really now, if it were not for knitting socks for Mrs. +Anderton's new babies, I should be quite at a loss for something to +do." + +Elizabeth, who had turned and stared from one to the other, as if in +surprise at the introduction of a new subject, here broke in with a +soft little laugh. "Well, auntie, Mrs. Anderton certainly keeps you +busy," she said, consolingly "and as for the fair--why, I don't know +that it would be such wild dissipation." Insensibly at the last words, +her mouth drooped at the corners, the eyes, which an instant before +had sparkled with amusement, grew thoughtful. A slight cloud of +discontent seemed to drift over the buoyant freshness of her mood. + +Miss Cornelia observed it and continued to lament. "Well, at least, a +fair would be _something_," she insisted "and then in old times there +used to be dances. If you went out to tea--oftener, my dear--even that +would be a diversion." + +The cloud on Elizabeth's face deepened. She bent down with elaborate +care to place the last rose in position. "Oh, I don't know that it +matters much," she said, and there was a sudden hardness in her tone. +"There are no men for a dance, and as for the tea-parties--they don't +amuse me very much. There are always the Andertons, or Johnstons, or +both; and they talk about Mrs. Anderton's babies, of Mrs. Johnston's +rheumatism, or the way the village girls dress; and the Rector asks me +to take a class in Sunday-school, and looks shocked when I refuse; +and--and it is all stupid and tiresome. I--I s--sometimes--I hate this +place, and all the people in it," Elizabeth broke off, with a sound +not unlike a sob. + +Her aunts were paralyzed. This outburst of revolt was to them an +entirely new phase in the girl's development. They did not attempt any +response, or rebuke, and Elizabeth, after a moment, went over and +kissed them each remorsefully. "There, don't mind me," she said. "I'm +a horrid, discontented wretch." Then, as if to put an end to the +subject, she added quickly: "I'm going to drive to Bassett Mills. Is +there anything I can do for you?" + +Her aunts gladly accepted the change of mood. + +"It's a lovely morning for a drive, dear," said Miss Joanna, "and will +do you good. But I wish, if you go, you would stop at the Rectory--the +baby is ill, so the butcher tells me, and I have some beef-tea I'd +like you to take." + +Elizabeth's smile again lit up her face into its former brilliance. +"What would you do without the butcher, Aunt Joanna?" she asked. +"He's a perfect mine of information. Did he have any other news this +morning?" + +"Only that he had just come from the Van Antwerps'--they are up at +last for the summer." + +"Are they," said Elizabeth, carelessly. "Ah, well, they don't make +much difference, one way or the other." She seemed to reflect a +moment, while again her face clouded. "If I go to the Rectory," she +said abruptly, "I suppose I must stop to see Aunt Rebecca. She will +see me pass, and she is always complaining that I neglect her." + +The Misses Van Vorst again looked distressed. The aunt of whom +Elizabeth spoke, Malvina's sister-in-law, kept a small dry-goods shop, +much patronized by the Neighborhood, and had risen considerably above +the original position of the family. Yet the older ladies of the +Homestead could never be reminded of her existence without a sharp +recollection of a painful chapter in the family history. Had they +consulted only their wishes, Elizabeth would never have been informed +of the connection. They were just women, however, and admitted the +claims of Elizabeth's only relation on her mother's side, and one who +had a daughter, too, of about the girl's own age. + +"Of course, my dear," Miss Cornelia said at last, reluctantly, "we +wouldn't have you neglect your aunt." + +"No, poor thing," said Joanna "we wouldn't have you hurt her feelings +for the world. So perhaps you would better stop there, my dear; and +if you do, will you get me some sewing-silk from the store?" + +This proved by no means the only commission with which Elizabeth was +burdened when she started, half an hour later; for Miss Joanna had had +time to remember several other things she wanted from the store, to +say nothing of the beef-tea for the Rector's wife, and numerous +messages of advice and sympathy, which the girl was earnestly charged +not to forget. Miss Cornelia had no commissions, and merely asked +Elizabeth to remember, when she came home, every one whom she had +seen, to inquire of the Johnstons, if she met them, how their +grandmother was, and to notice, if she saw the Van Antwerps, if they +had their new carriage, and what Mrs. Bobby had on. At last Elizabeth +drove off, in the old-fashioned pony-chaise, behind the fat white pony +whose age was wrapped in obscurity, and who trod, with the leisurely +indifference of a well-bred carriage-horse, the road which he knew by +heart. + +It was a pleasant, shady road, that ran between stone fences, across +which you caught the scent of honey-suckle. Beyond were fine places, +once the pride of the Neighborhood, now for the most part neglected, +or turned into pasturage for cows. The trees interlacing, formed an +arch over-head, through which the sunlight flickered in long, slanting +rays; the air was very still, except for the soft hum of bees, and a +gentle wind that occasionally rustled the foliage and caressed the +petals of the wild-roses, which grew in careless profusion along the +road-side. Here and there, in sheltered nooks, wild violets still +lingered, and the fresh green grass in the fields was thickly strewn +with buttercups and daisies. But for all this beauty of the early +summer Elizabeth seemed to have no eyes. Her brows were knit and her +face clouded, and now and then she gave a vicious pull to the white +pony's reins more as a relief to her own feelings than from any hope +of hastening the movements of that dignified animal. + +Her thoughts matched the day as little as her looks. Her mind still +reverted with remorse to the outburst of an hour before. Why had she +displayed that childish petulance, and given audible expression to the +discontent which had smouldered unsuspected for many months? To speak +of it was useless and only distressed her aunts; it was not their +fault if the place was dull. And then she could, as a rule, amuse +herself well enough. There were always drives and walks, the garden +and the flowers, her books and her music, a hundred resources in which +she found unceasing pleasure. There was even to her warm vitality a +delight just then in the mere physical fact of living. And yet the +times were growing more frequent day by day, when all this would fail +her, when she would long passionately for novelty, for excitement, for +something--she hardly knew what. There were desperate moments when it +seemed to her that she would welcome any change whatsoever, when she +thought that even storm and stress might be preferable to dull +monotony. + +After all, it was not the dullness of the place which lay at the root +of her discontent. There was another trouble which went far deeper of +which she never spoke; yet it affected her whole attitude towards the +world, and more especially the Neighborhood. She did not feel at home +in the small, charmed circle of those who knew each other so well, not +even with the girls with whom she had played as a child. There had +always been a tacit assumption of superiority on their part, which +Elizabeth instinctively felt and resented. The most disagreeable +episode in her life was a quarrel with one of her playmates, in which +the latter had won the last word by an angry taunt against Elizabeth's +mother, who was "a horrid, common woman, whom no one in the +Neighborhood, would speak to--_her_ mother had said so." Elizabeth, +paralyzed, could think of no retort, but walked home in silence, +shedding bitter tears of rage and mortification. She did not repeat +the remark to her aunts--it was too painful and she somehow suspected +too true; but that night she cried herself to sleep and had consoling +dreams of a time when she should be a great personage, and able to +turn the tables on her tormentors. This was a long time ago; but the +old wound still rankled, and she held herself proudly aloof from her +former playmates. They, on their part pronounced her hard to get on +with, and their mothers made no effort to encourage the intimacy. In +the conservative society of the Neighborhood, Peter's marriage was +still vividly remembered, and could not easily be forgiven. Elizabeth +was pretty and to all appearance, well-bred, but still people thought +of her antecedents and maintained towards her an attitude of doubt. +It was the perception of this fact, the consciousness of having begun +life at a disadvantage, which embittered Elizabeth's thoughts as she +drove through the country lanes that June morning. + +The sun was high in the heavens when she reached Bassett Mills, a +nondescript place, neither town nor village, and much over-shadowed by +the glories of Cranston, not ten miles away. "The Mills" is not very +prosperous, but it has its factory, and the mill-stream, dashing +precipitously through its midst, lends some picturesqueness to the +squalid houses on its banks. There was a certain life and movement +this morning about the steep High Street, down which the white pony +took his leisurely way. A stream of factory people passed by to their +noon-day dinner; the street was full of wagons and carriages from the +Neighborhood. Elizabeth saw the Van Antwerp dog-cart standing in front +of the hardware shop, and caught a smile and bow from Mrs. Bobby, +which surprised her by their graciousness. Later on she met the +Courtenays, whom she knew better, but who greeted her more coldly. +Elizabeth's own bow was stiff, and the cloud which Mrs. Bobby's +cordiality had dispelled, again darkened her face. + +She went on to the Rectory, but here she found that the baby's illness +had developed into measles, and she could deposit her beef-tea at the +door and take her leave with a clear conscience. Outside she stood in +the hot sun debating if she should or should not stop to see her aunt +and cousin. It was a long time since she had been there, and her aunt +would be sure to assail her with reproaches. Amanda, too, would feel +injured, and look the spiteful things which she never actually said. +But then Elizabeth could usually rise superior to any spitefulness +that Amanda might display. She felt on the whole very kindly towards +her cousin, she liked to show her pretty gowns, and her good-nature +had even stood the test of several bungling attempts on Amanda's part +to imitate them. There were moments when, in the dearth of society, +Elizabeth would turn with a certain affection to this uncongenial +cousin, who at other times jarred upon her greatly. + +It was the remembrance of Miss Joanna's commissions that on this +occasion turned the scale in favor of the intended visit. Elizabeth +left the white pony, who would stand an indefinite time, and entered +the small dry-goods shop, where her aunt or Amanda generally presided. +It was empty. Elizabeth hesitated a moment, then she crossed the hall +that led to the living-rooms of the family. Here she paused in +astonishment. From behind the closed door of the parlor came the sound +of a man's voice; a rich, barytone voice singing from Tannhäuser the +song of the Evening Star. Elizabeth waited till it was over; then she +opened the door and went in. + + + + +_Chapter III_ + + +The young man who had just sung was still at the piano, softly playing +variations on the same air. She gave him one hurried glance. He was +tall and fair, with blue eyes and a silky blonde moustache, and he +wore a velveteen coat, much the worse for wear, and a turn-down collar +that showed to advantage the fine outlines of his throat and the +graceful poise of his head. These details Elizabeth grasped at once +before her gaze wandered to her aunt and Amanda, who were sitting idle +as she had never before seen them in the morning, with eyes intent on +the young man at the piano. Elizabeth noticed that Amanda had on her +Sunday frock and her hair very much frizzed. + +The girl had entered so softly that the three people already in the +room did not at first notice her presence. When they at last did so, +it seemed to cause something of a shock. Her aunt and Amanda stared at +her in silence, and Amanda turned a trifle pale. The young man rose +from the piano and looked at her intently for a moment with his bright +blue eyes; then he re-seated himself and went on playing, but much +more softly, and as if hardly conscious of what he did. + +Elizabeth's aunt was the first to recover herself, and upon second +thought it occurred to her that her niece had arrived at an opportune +moment--when she and Amanda had on their best clothes, and were +entertaining company. This reflection tempered the usual austerity of +her greeting. "Why, Elizabeth, is that you? You're quite a stranger. +It isn't often you honor us with your company." + +"You know," said Elizabeth, quite used to the formula of reproach and +excuse, with which these visits invariably opened "the white pony has +been lame, and I have driven out very little." + +"And you couldn't come on your wheel, I suppose? Nothing short of a +carriage would do for you. I wonder you don't insist on a groom in +top-boots. But well, never mind," Aunt Rebecca went on, feeling that +she had sufficiently maintained her dignity "you're very welcome now, +I'm sure, and you're just in time to hear some music. This is Paul +Halleck, who has been kind enough to sing for us. Mr. Halleck, this is +Amanda's cousin Elizabeth, whom you've heard us speak of." There was +an odd note of grudging satisfaction in her voice as she made the +introduction. Mrs. Jones's feeling towards her niece was a complex +one, characterized on the one hand, by an involuntary sense of +resentment at the elevation of Malvina's girl, on the other, by an +equally involuntary pride in the connection. The latter sensation +predominated when she introduced Elizabeth to a stranger whom she +wished to impress. + +Elizabeth's chief feeling was one of annoyance, and it brought an +angry flush to her cheek. Then she caught the look in the young man's +eyes, as he rose and bowed with much deference; and her own eyes fell +and again she blushed, but not with anger. + +"I have had the pleasure of seeing Miss Van Vorst before," said Paul +Halleck, "though she has not, of course, noticed me." + +"Why, yes, of course," said Elizabeth's aunt, still in high good +humor, "you've seen her when you were out sketching. You see, +Elizabeth, he's a painter as well as a singer; he's quite a genius, +altogether. We find him a great acquisition to our parties here at The +Mills. And to think that he was born here, and lived here part of his +life! You remember the Hallecks that went West when you were a child? +They settled in Chicago, you know. He only came to New York awhile +ago, and thought he'd look up his folks in this place. But there, +Elizabeth, sit down, and perhaps Mr. Halleck will give us another +tune." + +Elizabeth silently took the chair the young man placed for her, while +her aunt still talked on volubly. The girl was bewildered by what she +heard. She could not imagine this handsome young singer, with his air +of picturesque Bohemia, as an acquisition to the parties of Bassett +Mills; nor did he seem at home in her aunt's parlor. She glanced about +the commonplace, gaudy little room, every detail of which impressed +itself upon her with a new sense of its crudeness; the plush-covered +furniture, staring wall-paper, the lace anti-macassars, the +photographs of the family, the men in high hats, the women simpering +in their Sunday clothes. It did not seem the fit atmosphere for an +artist. And then, with a sudden, sharp misgiving, Elizabeth looked at +Amanda, and asked herself for a moment if she could be the attraction. +The doubt vanished instantly. Poor Amanda was not pretty at the best +of times, and there was a sullen look on her face just then that made +her appear at her worst. She had a dull, pasty skin and very light +eyes. All the color seemed to be concentrated in her hair, which was a +deep, dark red, all the more striking for the contrast to her pale +face. The gown she wore, of a bright yellow, was peculiarly successful +in bringing out the faded tints of her complexion and the jarring +vividness of her hair. + +Amanda at that moment felt to the full the unkindness of fate. She had +not shared for an instant her mother's gratification at Elizabeth's +entrance. It was hard, she thought, that, having arrayed herself in +her best, and struggled long to look beautiful, she should be +completely over-shadowed by Elizabeth in the cool white gown and shady +hat, which had a provoking air of not being her best, but merely her +natural and everyday attire. Amanda had seen, as well as Elizabeth, +the look in Paul's eyes. Was it fair, she asked herself, that she +should share her good things with Elizabeth, who had so many of her +own? And so Amanda sat silent and sullen, while her mother talked on, +and Halleck ran his fingers over the keys, as if he would fain be +playing. + +"What shall I sing?" he asked abruptly, in the first pause, and +looking at Elizabeth as if her wishes alone were of any consequence. + +"Oh, the Evening Star again," she responded eagerly. "I only heard the +end of it, and it brought up so many delightful memories." + +So Halleck sang the song again. A voice, artistically modulated, +filled the little room, which vanished for Elizabeth. She saw pilgrims +filing past in slow procession, Tannhäuser struggling against the +power of the Venusberg, Elizabeth kneeling in her penitent's dress +before the cross. The whole Wagnerian drama unrolled itself before her +eyes while the song lasted. And then, as the last note died away, she +came back to the present with a start, and realized that the young man +who had just afforded her this pleasure was handsomer far than any +Wolfram she had ever seen before. + +"Ah, thank you," she said, drawing a long breath. "That is so +beautiful. It is so long since I have heard any music." + +"You are fond of it?" said Halleck, eagerly. + +"Yes," she responded, earnestly. + +"Ah, I saw it--I was sure of it," he declared. "You have the artistic +temperament. I saw it in your face at once." + +Elizabeth blushed for the third time that morning, and now with a +distinct sense of pleasure. Amanda, too, flushed a dull red. She was +not quite certain what the artistic temperament might be, but it was +clearly one of those good things of which Elizabeth had an unfair +monopoly. + +"You play or sing yourself, of course?" Halleck went on. + +"Oh, I play a little," Elizabeth pouted out her full under-lip, in +charming deprecation of her own powers. "I am ashamed, before a real +musician, to say that I play at all." + +"I am not a real musician, alas!" said Halleck, "only a dabbler in +music, as I am in art." A thoughtful look came into his blue eyes, and +he went on absently playing fragments from Tannhäuser. "I am glad you +like that," he said, abruptly. "You remember the heroine was called +Elizabeth." + +"Yes," said Elizabeth, "I remember." It gave her an odd little thrill +of pleasure to hear him pronounce her name, and yet she wondered if +his remark were not too personal to be in good taste. "But I don't +think I am at all like that Elizabeth," she added, after a moment, +following out his suggestion in spite of this doubt. + +"No, perhaps not," said Halleck, regarding her with a calm scrutiny, +in which he seemed to appraise her no longer as a woman, but purely +from an artistic point of view. "You are not exactly that type; you +have more life and color, less spirituality, perhaps; but you are +fair, and your hair would do admirably. You would make a beautiful +picture with your hair unbound, kneeling before the cross." + +"I have never had my picture painted," Elizabeth murmured, trying to +imagine herself in a penitent's garb. + +"Will you let me try it?" + +Elizabeth smiled and assented, deciding that no long acquaintance was +necessary, when it was a question of having her picture painted, in a +costume which she was quite determined should be becoming. She sat +mentally reviewing the resources of her wardrobe, while Halleck struck +sonorous chords on the piano, and asked if she recognized this or that +Wagnerian theme, upon which he proceeded to extemporize. Amanda and +her mother were distinctly left out, and the latter began to repent of +her first satisfaction in her niece's visit. She broke in at last, +brusquely, upon the very midst of the love-music from "Tristan and +Isolde." "Well, I don't think much of this Wagner," she said. "His +music all sounds the same--a lot of queer noises, with no tune to +them. What I like now is 'Home, Sweet Home,' or 'Nancy Lee'--something +real nice and catchy." + +"I can play those, too," said Halleck, good-humoredly, and immediately +played the first mentioned air, with variations of his own +improvisation. At the end of it he rose from the piano. "Won't you +play for me now," he said to Elizabeth. + +"Oh, no, not after you." Elizabeth shook her head and rose to her +feet, with a sudden recollection of the white pony and her aunt's +dinner-hour. "Some other day," she said, "I'll be very glad to play +for you, but really now I have not the time--or the courage." She +spoke with a pretty, smiling deference, and she held out her hand, +which he took in a long, lingering grasp. There was a soft glow of +color in her cheeks, her eyes were cast down till he could see only +her long lashes. "Thank you so much," she said "for the music." Then +she drew her hand away from his and kissed her aunt and Amanda, with +an unwonted display of affection. She felt an odd sense of excitement, +a wish to be friendly with all the world. + +Neither her aunt nor Amanda seemed to share it. They did not try to +detain her, and Halleck, though he looked disappointed, said nothing. +They all three escorted her to the door of the shop, where the white +pony stood patiently enduring the heat and the flies. Elizabeth +lingered over her farewells. She wished to ask her new acquaintance to +come to see her, but disliked doing so before her aunt and cousin. It +was he who finally said, leaning over her as he placed the reins in +her hand: "And--a--how about that picture? May I come to see you about +it?" + +Elizabeth's eyes were still hidden as she answered demurely: "I am +sure I--we shall be very glad to see you at the Homestead." + +And then she drove off, and the others stood for a moment and looked +after her in silence. + +"She--she's pretty--isn't she," said Amanda, suddenly speaking for the +first time since Elizabeth had appeared. Her voice, even to herself, +sounded harsh and grating. Her lips were very dry. + +Halleck started and looked at her as if reminded of her existence. +Then a smile stole over his face and sparkled in his handsome blue +eyes. + +"Yes, she's rather pretty," he answered, carelessly "but--a little +disappointing on a close view. However, she'll do very well as a +model--she's picturesque, at least." + +Amanda drew a long breath of sudden and intense relief. + + + + +_Chapter V_ + + +"And so you say this young man lives at The Mills, my dear?" Miss +Cornelia paused, the heavy, elaborately chased tea-pot suspended in +her hand. Her gentle, near-sighted eyes looked anxiously across the +table at Elizabeth. + +It was the first time that the girl had spoken of her new +acquaintance, though it was now some time since her return from +Bassett Mills, and she had told at once of the measles at the Rectory. +This piece of news, however, had lasted them well through dinner, and +in the country it is improvident to use up all one's information at +once. Perhaps Elizabeth thought of this; or it might be that the other +item did not strike her as of any special importance. She only +mentioned it very casually at tea-time; but her aunts' anxiety was +easily aroused at any suggestion of new acquaintances at Bassett +Mills. + +"I don't think he lives at The Mills," Elizabeth made answer now +reluctantly to Miss Cornelia's question. "I think he--he is just +staying there--I believe Aunt Rebecca said something about his coming +from Chicago. But his family used to live at The Mills." + +"You don't mean those Hallecks who went West a long time ago?" +exclaimed Miss Joanna. "Do you remember, sister?--the man was in jail +the most of the time. The children used to play on the road behind the +church--poor little neglected things, I was quite worried about them. +It was a relief, I remember, when they all went away." + +Elizabeth found this piece of ancient history peculiarly inopportune. + +"Well, that was a long time ago, Aunt Joanna," she said. "It doesn't +matter, I suppose, so much what people's parents were like. Mr. +Halleck is very nice himself. He is an artist, and he wants to paint +my picture." She brought out this last information, which she had been +longing to tell for some time, with a certain triumph; but it fell +unexpectedly flat. + +"An artist!" Miss Joanna repeated. "Dear me! One of those little +Hallecks who used to play in the road." + +"To paint your picture, my dear?" repeated Miss Cornelia still more +doubtfully. "When he has only met you once! I am afraid he is rather a +pushing young man. But of course, dear, you won't encourage him." + +Elizabeth's eyes were fixed on her plate; her cheeks were painfully +flushed and she bit her lips to keep back the scalding tears that rose +to her eyes. "I don't think he is pushing," she murmured, but she said +no more. How could she explain to her aunts the vast difference that +existed between this young man and any other friend of Amanda's? They +were dear, good women, but so hopelessly narrow and antiquated, with +their little old-fashioned ideas of propriety, their distinctions +founded on the conventional laws of the Neighborhood. Elizabeth, too, +was not without an involuntary respect for these distinctions. She had +her full share of the pride of birth which was instinctive in every +Van Vorst, even in the most ignorant country lout that had ever borne +the family name and lowered the family credit. With Elizabeth it was +only intensified, perhaps, by a doubt of her own position. But then +she belonged to the new generation; and there was a side of her nature +that recognized the futility of these old traditions. Elizabeth did +not analyze her feelings; she was only conscious of a vague sense of +revolt, a desire to beat her wings as it were, against the cages of +conventional distinctions, and test her powers of flight. + +But she did not put all this into words. Her aunts would not have +understood. She did not understand herself. She rose from the +tea-table presently, with a murmured excuse, leaving the food on her +plate untasted, to Miss Joanna's great distress, and wandered into the +drawing-room and sat down at the piano. The keys seemed to respond +with unusual readiness to her touch, the music expressed in some vague +way what she could not put into words. She played on restlessly, +feverishly, for more than an hour, passing from one thing to another; +Chopin nocturnes, waltzes, Hungarian dances, fragments from Wagner; +anything she could remember. + +The drawing-room remained dim for the sake of coolness; it was +unlighted except for a lamp at a corner-table, beside which Miss +Joanna sat with her knitting. As Elizabeth played she nodded +comfortably and presently fell asleep. This was always the effect of +Elizabeth's playing; she said she found it very soothing. Miss +Cornelia sat upright in an old-fashioned, high-backed chair close to +the piano. She moved her head in time to the music, and the thin +little silvery curls that framed in her worn, delicate face seemed to +sway in unison with the melody. She wore a black gown, a trifle +antiquated in fashion but falling about her in graceful folds, and +some rich old lace softened the outlines of her throat. There was a +gentle, tremulous dignity about her nowadays. Miss Cornelia was very +happy in moments like these. It was touching to see the pride she took +in Elizabeth's music. But after awhile this evening the girl let her +hands drop on the keys, and said impatiently: "Oh, it's no use, I +can't say what I want to say. The music's in me, but it won't come +out. If you could have heard that man to-day at Aunt Rebecca's." + +"Do you mean that young Halleck, my dear?" said Miss Cornelia in +surprise, and pronouncing his name with evident distaste. "I didn't +know that he played." + +"He can do anything," Elizabeth declared. "He paints, he can improvise +by the hour, he sings as well as any opera-singer, and--he is very +handsome. He would make a superb Lohengrin or Tristan," she added, +thoughtfully "only, unfortunately, his voice is barytone. I wonder why +Wagner showed such partiality to tenors." + +"But he is not--going on the stage, is he, my dear?" asked Miss +Cornelia, tentatively. She felt more anxiety than pleasure at hearing +of this paragon. + +"I don't know," said Elizabeth, "and it doesn't much matter. I am not +to know him, you see, because his people used to live in the village +years ago, and Aunt Joanna saw him playing on the road." She spoke +bitterly. + +"But, my dear, I--we never meant anything of the kind," protested Miss +Cornelia. But Elizabeth went on without heeding her. + +"Of course I know the rules of the Neighborhood. They would no more +think of knowing a young man from Bassett Mills than they would a +convict. But I don't really belong to the Neighborhood; I'm only on +the outskirts, as it were--tolerated for your sake and for +Grandmamma's. I'm tired of being a sort of nondescript--neither flesh, +fowl, nor good red herring." The girl's face was hard, but she spoke +quietly, in a matter-of-fact tone, as if stating inevitable truths. + +Miss Cornelia sat mute, bewildered, her whole soul wrung by a +powerless resentment against fate. If by any sacrifice on her part she +could have provided for Elizabeth congenial society--the charming +young girls and attractive young men of whom she and her sister had +often dreamed--she would have made it thankfully; but with all her +love, there was nothing--or there seemed to her nothing that she could +do. They had given Elizabeth every advantage, she was beautiful and +charming; and the result of it all was that she felt herself to be "a +sort of nondescript, neither flesh, fowl, nor good red herring." It +was a very bitter thought for Miss Cornelia. + +Elizabeth, seeing this, felt remorseful for the second time that day. +"Don't look so unhappy, auntie," she said, quickly. "It's not your +fault--no, nor mine either; and, I suppose, it's not the fault of the +Neighborhood. People can't help being narrow and conservative; they +were born so. But then, Aunt Cornelia, when--when I don't have so many +friends, you can't expect me to draw the line so awfully closely." +Something like a sob crept into the girl's voice, but she went on with +hardly a pause: "You mustn't think that I would want to know--any one. +This man isn't like the rest of Amanda's friends. Only wait till you +hear him sing--you would lose your heart, I'm sure, on the spot. And +now, confess, auntie, you would like me to have my picture painted. +The girls at school used to say that I would make a glorious picture. +Do _you_ think I would make a pretty picture, auntie?" She went over +to Miss Cornelia and put her arms around her, looking up into her face +with laughing, brilliant eyes, from which all bitterness had +disappeared. + +"My darling." Miss Cornelia, bewildered by the quick change of mood, +could not find words. She thought that Elizabeth would make the +prettiest picture in the world; but to have told her so would have +been to run counter to all her ideas of propriety. So she finally +said, with due regard for accepted formulas: "You shouldn't think so +much about looks, Elizabeth. If you are good, that's the main thing." + +"Of course, it's the main thing," Elizabeth assented, "but I'm afraid +if it came to a choice, I'd rather be pretty, auntie, and so would +most people." She ended with a light little laugh, and Miss Cornelia, +in spite of her principles, attempted no rebuke. + +The look of gaiety soon faded from Elizabeth's face. With a quick, +impatient little sigh, she walked over to the window, and looked out +into the night. It was still and sultry; heavy storm clouds were +gathering and obscured the sky. The old elm trees, growing close about +the house, cast sombre shadows; they seemed to keep out what little +air there was. Elizabeth, as she leaned her hot cheek against the cool +glass of the window-pane, felt again a sense of stifling, of being in +a cage. It was useless to beat her wings; life was outside, but she +could not reach it. "Oh, I would give anything in the world," she +thought "just to breathe, to be free, to know what life is." + +Suddenly she turned around with a start. There was a voice in the +hall; some one spoke her name. A moment later a young man was +advancing towards her across the dimly-lighted room. Mechanically she +went to meet him. She did not think of her aunts, she did not think of +anything but his presence. + +"Have I--come too soon?" Paul Halleck asked, as he took her hand. + + + + +_Chapter VI_ + + +Elizabeth drove again, a few weeks later, through shady, fragrant +lanes, on her way to Bassett Mills. It was early in the morning, but +the sun was already hot. The wild-roses along the road-side had mostly +departed, the grass in the fields had a parched look. It was a long +time since any rain had fallen, and the roads were thick with dust. +All the freshness of the early summer had faded. But for these signs +of premature blight and the scorching effect of the sun, Elizabeth +seemed to have no eyes. + +She drove along in a happy dream. There was a brilliant color in her +cheeks, a radiant light in her eyes. She bloomed like a rose that has +unfolded every petal to the summer sunshine. The fields through which +she passed were not the familiar pasture-lands and "places" that +skirted the road to Bassett Mills; they were the flowery meadows of +poetic Arcadia, on the road that led to Paradise. + +It was something of a bore, under the circumstances, that she must +first of all go to Bassett Mills, but Miss Joanna had intrusted her +with numerous commissions, that she could not very well refuse to +discharge. That was the reason why she had started so early. There was +a brook in a meadow near by; a brook shaded by weeping willow trees, +under which nowadays a young artist sat sketching for many hours at a +time. Elizabeth's drives, or walks had for the last few weeks led no +further. But to-day she had decided to go first to Bassett Mills, and +be back in time for the usual engagement, of which her aunts knew +nothing. + +The affair was not really so clandestine. There was no reason why she +should have kept it secret beyond a vague embarrassment, an +unwillingness to speak about the one subject that occupied her +thoughts. Miss Cornelia and Miss Joanna had, after the one protest, +yielded to the inevitable; they had not even discouraged young +Halleck's visits to their niece. They had gone so far as to admit, +when he had come to tea at the Homestead, and sung and played for them +afterwards for hours, that he was an extremely talented young man. It +had been a most successful evening, Miss Joanna had not even gone to +sleep. And yet, with it all, in both sisters there was some innate +distrust, some lingering prejudice perhaps, that prevented them from +succumbing entirely to the charm of his handsome face and beautiful +voice. They were civil to him--painfully civil; but they did not +welcome him as they would have welcomed young Frank Courtenay, who +used to stare at Elizabeth in church every Sunday, but had never +apparently mustered up courage to come and see her. He was much under +the influence of his mother, who considered Elizabeth's hair +"conspicuous" and had remarked that it was bad taste for a young girl +to be _too_ well dressed--a fault that could not in justice be +alleged against her own daughters. + +Elizabeth, too, might have welcomed the visits of young Courtenay. +There had been times when she had doubted, sadly, if she were really +so pretty as the girls at school had seemed to think. But these times +were past, and she had not a thought to spare for Frank Courtenay's +heavy, commonplace good looks. Paul Halleck had assured her many times +that she was beautiful, and had sketched her in every variety of pose, +in that impressionistic style which Elizabeth had secretly thought +rather ugly, before she learned to regard it as the last word in Art. + +Elizabeth had learned many other things in the last few weeks. Halleck +undertook her education in all artistic and literary matters, showing +her how little she had hitherto known of this or that great light. He +quoted Swinburne and Rossetti; he read her extracts from Maeterlinck +and Ibsen; he opened for her the treasures of that school which Nordau +calls degenerate. He had all the intellectual and artistic jargon of +the day at his tongue's end. She sat at his feet and devoutly learned +it all. + +She knew his history, now. It was very romantic, and it lost nothing +in the telling. He had a keen eye for artistic effect, and spared not +one sordid detail of his early surroundings which served to throw into +more brilliant relief his subsequent career. He told how the +possession of a lovely childish soprano had raised him literally from +the gutter, and procured him a position as boy soloist in a Chicago +church, and how, later on, a patron was found, who sent him abroad to +study. He had wandered from one European centre to another; learned to +play in Dresden and to paint in Paris, and developed a fine barytone +voice, of which great things were prophesied. In fact, he was a +universal genius, and could do anything, except apparently earn a +living, which indeed has been always hard for genius. And so at last +he drifted back to Chicago, where he sang for a while in the same +church where he had begun his career; but finally left for some reason +or another, and tried his fortune in New York. He was debating now +whether to go abroad again to study in earnest for the stage, and +meanwhile he was on a walking tour, sketching about the country. He +had come to Bassett Mills for the sake of old associations, and had +stayed--well, he left it to Elizabeth to imagine _why_ he stayed. + +All this was very interesting and romantic; far more so, Elizabeth +thought, than any ordinary affair could have been, with some +commonplace youth of the neighborhood. She had only one regret; she +could not help wishing in her heart that Paul's early surroundings had +been, if not more exalted, less familiar. She would have preferred him +to have no associations with, no friends at, Bassett Mills. The place +seemed to her, as she drove through it that morning, so hopelessly +common, so unusually prosaic. The ugly, sordid houses, the people with +their faces of dull stolidity, jarred upon the ecstatic tone of her +mood. She could not imagine that genius could be born in such +surroundings. + +The discordant note was still more striking when, having discharged +the greater part of her commissions, she entered the dry-goods shop, +and found Aunt Rebecca in her most trying humor. + +"So that's you, Elizabeth," she said, looking her niece severely up +and down, while her thin lips moved at the corners. "It seems to me +you're very much dressed up, driving round these dusty roads. The way +you wear white is a caution! But I suppose for a millionaire like you +it don't matter about the washing." + +Elizabeth bit her lip. "I'm not a millionaire, you know Aunt Rebecca," +she said, "but I like to wear white, and it's as cheap as anything in +the end. Is Amanda in?" she added quickly, anxious to stave off +further criticism. "I'll go back and see her if she is." + +"She's in the parlor," said Amanda's mother, shortly. "She's got a +headache. I guess she don't feel like seeing company," she added +hastily, but the words came too late. Elizabeth had already left the +shop, and was crossing the narrow, dark little hall that led to the +parlor. Her heart beat rapidly as she did so. She felt an odd, utterly +irrational desire to feast her eyes on the spot where she had first +experienced such new and delightful sensations. + +There was no music in the room now, no air of festivity. The +atmosphere was close and musty, the sun poured in at the window beside +which Amanda sat sewing. She bent closely over her work, her skin was +more pasty than ever and her eyes were red and swollen. Elizabeth +remembered her aunt's words about the headache; otherwise she might +have thought that her cousin had been crying. She went over and kissed +her with a friendliness born of her own superabundant joy. The lips +she touched were dry and hot. Amanda did not respond to the caress. +She stared stupidly at Elizabeth, as if half dazed by her sudden +entrance. + +"How are you, Amanda?" Elizabeth said. "I'm sorry you have a headache. +Perhaps it's the heat. It's a terribly hot day, and the roads are so +dusty. Aunt Rebecca implied that my dress showed that very plainly. It +was clean this morning--does it really look so badly?" She walked over +to the mirror and inspected herself critically, setting her hat +straight and adjusting the white ribbon about her throat. It was a +long narrow glass, framed in black walnut, and there was a shelf +underneath it, which supported a large sea-shell. The whole thing +reminded her of a similar arrangement at her dressmaker's in town, and +seemed in some way the crowning feature of the prosaic, painfully +respectable character of the room. She hated to look at herself +there--the glass brought out all one's defects. But to-day, in spite +of the trying glare of the sunshine, her own image flashed back at +her, so brilliantly fresh, in her white dimity gown, so redolent of +health and beauty, that she could not help smiling back at it, as at +some delightful apparition. Ah, yes, it was good to be young and +pretty, and to have a lover waiting for one near by. Her eyes +brightened unconsciously, and she gave a little caressing touch to +the shining masses of wavy hair which stood out, like red molten gold, +against the broad brim of her shady white hat. + +The other girl sat and watched her. + +"You like to look at yourself, don't you?" The words rang out harshly, +suddenly. Elizabeth started and turned around. It seemed to her for a +moment as if some third person had spoken--some one with a strange, +mocking voice that she had never heard before. But there was no one +else in the room. + +"Yes, you like to look at yourself." Amanda went on after a pause, +more quietly, "you think yourself a beauty, and a good many people, +perhaps, might agree with you. _He_ tells you so, I suppose. I daresay +he tells you your hair's picturesque--he used to tell me that about +mine. He was going to paint my picture, but it went out of his head +when he saw you. Most things did, I guess. He--he hasn't been here +since." The girl's voice broke in a quick, convulsive sob, and she +stopped for a moment, but went on almost immediately: "If you hadn't +come in that day, it would have been all right. We were keeping +company; every one in The Mills knew we were. All the girls were +jealous of me--as if he'd have looked at them! Some of them work in +the factory, there's many of them don't even have a piano and sit in +their kitchens. I know what's genteel, even if I can't talk all that +rubbish about music and Wagner that you learned at school. And what +good will all that do you when you're married? What do you know about +mending and sewing and cooking? What sort of a wife would you make +him? You'd ruin him in a month with your fine clothes. But men are +such fools!" She gave a short mirthless laugh, her eyes glittered +strangely. Elizabeth stared at her paralyzed, glued to the spot in +helpless fascination. She had never heard Amanda talk so much before. +Her words came quickly, fiercely, one upon another, like some +overwhelming torrent that had been suddenly let loose. + +"Why should you have so much more than me? Why should you have fine +clothes, and a carriage, and go to school in New York, and have the +swells in the neighborhood call on you? Was your mother any better +than mine, or a hundredth part as good? She wasn't even respectable; +no decent people at The Mills would speak to her before your father +married her--I know that for a fact. And then to give yourself airs!" +Amanda stopped short, panting, exhausted by her own vehemence. +Elizabeth still stood before her powerless. When Amanda spoke of her +mother the color rushed into her white face, and she made an effort to +speak; but the words seemed to die away on her lips. Amanda, after a +moment's pause, went on. + +"It isn't that I care so much about that; you might have had +everything else, if you hadn't taken--him. Why did you come in that +day looking like a dressed-up doll? You hadn't been here for weeks, +and I was glad. I didn't want him to know you--I wasn't afraid of the +other girls. But you who've got so much--couldn't you have had the +decency to leave him alone? Couldn't you see that he was mine?" + +"Amanda," Elizabeth gasped out. "I--I didn't know. I--I never +thought"--Her brain reeled, she stammered painfully, trying in vain +for words to vindicate herself from this shameful charge. Amanda +brushed her aside contemptuously. + +"You didn't think?--no, you never do, of anything but yourself, your +pretty face and pretty clothes! You're selfish and spoiled--every one +knows it; you've had every wish granted till you want everything, and +you won't be satisfied with less. But what's the good of saying all +this to you?" she broke off suddenly, with a sharp change of tone. "I +must be crazy; I've felt so, I'm sure, these last weeks. It won't make +any difference--nothing I say can bring him back. And yet he'd have +married me--if you hadn't come." She went to Elizabeth and gripped her +by the wrist. "He kissed me once," she said. "Has he kissed you yet?" + +"No," said Elizabeth, mechanically, "no." She shrank away a little and +set her teeth. Amanda's grasp was painful, but she would not have +cried out for worlds. + +"Well, when he does," Amanda said, "remember this--he kissed me first. +You can't take that away from me--I have the first claim." She let go +of Elizabeth's hands and fell back a step. There were two deep red +marks from her grasp. "Now go," she said, "go to him. I knew you were +going to him--I saw you thinking of it, and it made me hate you. Go +to him and tell him that I hope his love for you will last as long as +it did for me." She laughed again harshly and then suddenly burst into +violent weeping. "Oh, it's ignominious," she said, "it's contemptible. +No one can despise me more than I do myself. I haven't any pride. I +hate him--I hate him; yet I'd take him back now, if he'd come to me." +She sank down on the sofa and hid her face in the red plush cushions, +while her whole frame shook with convulsive sobs. + +Elizabeth stood still in the middle of the floor. Mechanically she +glanced at her reflection in the mirror; white, distraught, with +startled eyes--a ghastly parody of the brilliant vision which had +smiled back at her only a few minutes before. The hot sunlight, +flooding the commonplace little room, seemed to bring out, with +glaring vividness, all the tragic, sordid elements of the scene. A +quarrel between two women about a lover! Could anything be more +hopelessly vulgar and grotesque? + +It was the sting of this thought that finally roused Elizabeth to +speech. She raised her head with sudden haughtiness, and her words +came clearly and fluently. "I don't know what you mean, Amanda," she +said "by this scene. If there is any one whom you--you think I have +taken from you, you can have him back to-morrow so far as I am +concerned. I don't want any other woman's lover. It--it would be base. +Whatever else you think me, I'm not--that. If it is Paul Halleck whom +you mean, you can marry him, if you wish, to-morrow. At least you may +be sure of one thing, that I never will." Her low, vehement voice +died away, and she waited for an answer; but none came. Amanda only +sobbed on hysterically, her face buried in the sofa-cushions. + +Elizabeth stood looking at her for a moment, with a feeling in which +pity, anger and repulsion were strangely mingled; then she hastily +left the room by the door that led directly to the street. She had +presence of mind enough to avoid the shop and her aunt's unfriendly +eyes. She reached the carriage, and--un-heard-of thing--touched the +white pony with the whip. + + + + +_Chapter VII_ + + +They had left the last house behind; they were out in the open +country. Elizabeth dropped the reins and let her tears flow +unchecked--hot, blinding tears, the bitterest she had ever shed. At +each familiar tree and landmark she sobbed with redoubled violence. +Only an hour before she had driven along this same road in the +ecstatic glow of her first romance. Now all the bloom had been rubbed +from that romance, all the glory faded from the hero of her dreams; +she herself was a woman who had been insulted, humiliated, dragged in +the dust. + +By degrees a few coherent phrases detached themselves from the +confused mass of painful recollections, and stung more sharply than +the rest. "My mother better than yours--she wasn't even respectable; +no decent people would speak to her" ... Oh, it was too bad--too bad; +she had not thought it was so bad as that. Amanda must have +exaggerated--she would ask her aunts; but no, no she would never speak +of that interview to a soul. It was humiliating enough as it was.... +"He kissed me once. Has he kissed you yet?" No, thank Heaven! that +indignity had been spared her. They had hovered as yet on the +borderland of love; she had put off the inevitable declaration with +instinctive coquetry, a vague unwillingness to be won too easily. She +was glad now--glad and thankful; he did not know that she cared,--he +should never know. She had no love for the man who had kissed +Amanda.... "Selfish and spoiled--thinking only of herself?" Yes, she +might be all that; but at least she would not take another woman's +lover. The words "it would be base," rang in her ears. Had she spoken +them, or Amanda? At all events, they were true. It would be base to +marry Halleck now. In fact, she did not wish to marry him. It was he +who had involved her in this horrible, sordid misery. Her aunts were +right; there must be distinctions of classes. Had her father +remembered this, people would not have it in their power to insult his +daughter now. + +Through all her complex feelings ran a sharp sense of anger against +Amanda, mingled strangely with an involuntary pity, almost with an +understanding of her point of view. It was not based on justice, but +on fellow feeling. Amanda had resented her superiority; she, +Elizabeth, knew what that was. She had felt the same herself, when +smarting impotently under the patronizing friendliness of the other +girls in the Neighborhood, and then had turned, with unconscious +snobbery, to play the same part towards Amanda. The incongruous, +grotesque humor of the situation struck her suddenly, and she laughed +out loud in bitter irony. She had envied the other girls of the +Neighborhood, Amanda had envied her, the girls at Bassett Mills had +envied Amanda. Strange net-work of classes in a democratic country, +of distinctions the more galling for their intangibility. Of one thing +Elizabeth was convinced, that she could never herself "put on airs" as +Amanda had said, again; there was not a girl in the whole countryside, +blessed with a good mother, who could not look down on her, if she +pleased. + +Her tears were falling now so fast and blinding that she could not see +the road; she was not even conscious that they had reached the spot +where the white pony stopped now of his own accord. And even as he did +so, a young man stepped forward and grasped the reins which had fallen +from Elizabeth's nerveless hand; a tall, fair young man who had been +standing for the last half hour, scanning anxiously, with his bright +blue eyes, the glaring dusty road. + +"Elizabeth," said Halleck (he had called her that for five happy days) +"Elizabeth, why are you so late? And, for Heaven's sake, what's the +matter?" + +Elizabeth looked up and with great effort, stopped crying; but +otherwise she made no sign of pleasure in his presence or even of +recognition. She put up one hand, indeed, and straightened her hat, +but this was a purely mechanical concession to the force of habit. She +knew that her face was flushed and tear-stained, her eyes red and +swollen; she was sure that she looked an absolute fright, and she did +not care. She was past caring, at least for the moment. + +"Elizabeth," Halleck repeated, more and more bewildered, "what is the +matter? I've been waiting for you an hour. You've been crying," he +added, stating unnecessarily an obvious fact. "Won't you tell me what +it is?" + +"Nothing--nothing," Elizabeth answered at last, in a voice that was +still thick and choked with sobs. "I haven't been crying or," struck +by the futility of denial, she added hastily "if I have it--it's no +matter. Will you please let me pass?" She tried to take the reins from +his hands, but he grasped them firmly, and laid the other hand on the +bar of the wagon. + +"Won't you let me pass?" she repeated stubbornly. + +"Not till you tell me what's the matter." + +He eyed her coolly, determinedly, all the habit of power depicted on +the lines of his handsome face. She stared back at him defiantly, with +her tear-swollen eyes. Her whole attitude breathed the spirit of +rebellion; a spirit new in their intercourse. Halleck saw it, at the +same time that he noted the disfiguring marks of tears on her face. +Oddly enough, he had never admired her so much. + +Nevertheless, he was determined to remain master of the situation. He +glanced up and down the road; there were never many people passing, +but it was not safe to rely on this fact. + +"We can't talk here," he said. "Come into the field." + +"I don't wish to," she said, stubbornly. "I'm going home." + +He fixed his eyes upon her. "You shall not go home," he said quietly, +"till you have told me all about it." She sat immovable, her pouting +under lip thrust out in a way that she had sometimes, in moments of +obstinacy and displeasure. She did not meet his eyes. "Don't be +childish," Paul said, pleasantly, after a moment. "You know you must +tell me what it is." + +She looked up reluctantly, and met his steady gaze, under which she +turned first white, then red, and slowly, as if fascinated, rose from +her seat. Yet still her words were unyielding. "We may as well have it +out at once," she said, coldly. + +Halleck could not repress a thrill of triumph. It was sweet to test +his power over this beautiful, high-spirited girl, to feel her will, +her intellect, like wax in his hands. But he tried not to show this +consciousness in his face. She was in a strange mood; he did not +understand her. Gravely and respectfully he helped her to scale the +stone wall, which separated the meadow from the road. Her hand barely +rested on his, and her eyes were averted carefully, but he paid no +heed. He fastened the white pony to a tree, then slowly and +thoughtfully followed Elizabeth across the field. + +The noon-day sun beat down upon them in all its scorching brilliancy; +it was pleasant to gain the shade of their usual trysting-place. Here +the little brook, which had rippled and sparkled over stones and moss +all the way from the mill-stream, formed itself into a quiet pool, +over which weeping willows spread out long branches, and seemed to +admire their own reflection in the cool green mirror beneath. +Elizabeth took her usual seat on a fallen moss-covered log, drawing, +as she did so, her white skirts about her, with what seemed an +involuntary gesture of repulsion, and Halleck, who was about to place +himself beside her, flushed and bit his lip. After a moment's +hesitation, he threw himself down sullenly on the grass a little way +off. + +"Tell me," he said, in a tone that was the more determined for this +little episode "tell me now what the matter is." + +Elizabeth's eyes were fixed upon the cool, green water at her feet. "I +don't know why you think," she said, slowly "that it has anything to +do with you." + +"Not when you are a full hour late for our appointment? Not when you +treat me like an outcast? Oh, Elizabeth,"--the young man's voice +softened suddenly, skillfully--"how can you trifle with me so, when I +love you?" + +He caught, or thought he did, a quiver in her face, although her eyes +were still resolutely bent upon the pool. "Yes, I love you," he +repeated. "I've loved you, I believe, ever since the day you came into +that horrid, stuffy little room, looking like an angel--with that hair +and that skin--so different from Amanda."-- + +He stopped as an indignant wave of color flamed in Elizabeth's cheeks. +"How can you speak of Amanda--like that?" she broke out passionately, +"when you loved her too, or told her so at least, when you said the +same things no doubt to her that you are saying now to me?" + +A light broke in upon Paul. In his relief he laughed out loud. +"Amanda," he said. "Amanda! So she has been talking to you? And you +believed all the nonsense she told you? And that is why you acted so +strangely. I thought it was something serious!" And he laughed again +in sheer light-heartedness. So all this had been only jealous pique, +after all. + +The gloom on Elizabeth's face did not lighten. "You seem to find the +idea amusing," she said, coldly. "I do not." + +"Because you don't understand how absurd it is. I never made love to +Amanda--if she made love to me"--Paul stopped, warned by a curious +stiffening in Elizabeth's attitude that he was on dangerous ground. +She was not like other girls whom he had known--he had noticed this +before; she required special treatment. "My dear child," he said, in a +calm, argumentative tone "really you are a little hard on me. A man +can't measure every word he says to a girl. I may have paid Amanda a +few compliments, flirted with her a little, if you insist upon it, +but--that's not a crime, is it? And I never gave her a thought, I +hardly remembered her existence, after I had once--seen you." There +was unmistakable sincerity in his voice. "Look at me, Elizabeth," he +went on anxiously, "look at me, and tell me that you believe me." + +Elizabeth raised her troubled eyes to his. "I--I don't know," she +said, slowly. She did believe him--to some extent, at least. But what +he told her did not alter the fact that it was she who had taken him +away from Amanda, that, but for her, he might have been her cousin's +admirer still. And that, after all, had been the substance of Amanda's +accusation. + +"Tell me the truth," she said, suddenly "if I had not come in that +day--if you had never seen me, would you--would you have married +Amanda?" She fixed her eager eyes upon his face, and waited breathless +for his answer. He gave it with a light laugh. + +"Marry Amanda!" he declared, "well, hardly! Such an idea never entered +my head." + +"Then," said Elizabeth, slowly "you deceived her." + +He shrugged his shoulders. "She deceived herself, I think," he said. +"It's not my fault if she--imagined things. Why should I marry a girl +like that? She's not pretty, she's stupid, ignorant. Bah, don't talk +to me of Amanda." He disposed of the matter with a wave of the hand +and another light laugh. Elizabeth felt a sudden conviction of the +absurdity of her own behavior. The painful, scorching flush in her +cheeks was beginning to cool; the burning, angry shame in her heart +was dying away. The remembrance of Amanda's words grew fainter; Paul's +handsome face, his air of triumphant health and life, were again in +the ascendent. + +He saw the yielding in her eyes and brought out his most effective +argument. He took boldly the seat beside her on the log and though she +shrank away, it was not, he thought, entirely with aversion. "My +darling," he said, "don't let trifles come between us. I love you, you +love me; isn't that enough? Elizabeth, you are the most beautiful +woman in the world. Elizabeth, dearest" ... He put out his arm and +drew her towards him. She still shrank away, fascinated yet trembling, +frightened at this new delight, this thrill of pleasure in his touch. + +"Don't," she gasped out, "Amanda"--He stopped her protest with a kiss. + +And it was not till later, when she reached home, that she thought +again of Amanda's words: "Remember, he kissed me _first_." + + + + +_Chapter VIII_ + + +Miss Cornelia and Miss Joanna sat at the breakfast-table and looked +aghast at Elizabeth, who had just informed them of her engagement. The +old Dutch clock on the mantel-piece ticked loudly, the sunlight fell +in shining bars upon the snowy table-cloth, the old Dutch china, the +glistening silver. Miss Cornelia was reminded forcibly, painfully, of +a morning in that same room many years ago, when Peter had announced +his marriage. Now the shock was not so great, was not unexpected, +perhaps; but it brought with it, if less horror, an even greater +disappointment. + +"Well," Elizabeth said, after a moment, when her important +announcement had produced no response, and she looked proudly, yet +half wistfully, from one to the other. "Well," she repeated, "have you +nothing to say? Can't you--congratulate me?" Her voice faltered over +the last words. + +"My dear," Miss Cornelia tried bravely to respond to the appeal in the +girl's tone. "Of course, we--we wish you every happiness," she +stammered out. She stopped, for tears choked her voice. She looked +despairingly at her sister. Was this the moment that they had so often +talked of together, planning with delicious thrills of pleasure all +they would say and do? "This china must be Elizabeth's when--when she +marries, you know." "We must lay by a little for--for Elizabeth's +trousseau." This in demure whispers to each other, for they would not +for the world have suggested such a possibility to the girl herself. +Nice girls, of course, must not think of getting married till the time +came, but--with Elizabeth's beauty, that time could not be long +delayed, not even in the Neighborhood. The fairy prince would appear +some day; though he had never come to them, they believed devoutly +that he would come to Elizabeth. And now--and now--the fairy prince +had come, or Elizabeth thought so; but they were only conscious of an +overwhelming sense of doubt. + +"You know so little about him, my dear," Miss Cornelia could not help +at last protesting. + +Elizabeth opened her eyes wide in genuine surprise. "So little of +him," she repeated. "Why, I--I know everything, Aunt Cornelia." And +she smiled to herself in silent amusement. Had she not seen him, every +day and twice a day, for a matter of four weeks. How long did they +think, these older women, that it took to know a man? "I know that he +loves me," she said, after a moment, descending to further particulars +"and I love him, and that's enough." + +"But you can't live on love," urged Miss Joanna, practically. "You +must have some money, you know, and I shouldn't think he, poor young +man, had anything--at least, judging by his clothes. Those artists +never have, they say. And meat, and everything indeed, never was so +dear as it is now." + +"I didn't know you were so worldly, Aunt Joanna," said Elizabeth, +loftily. "Do you want me to marry for money?" Miss Joanna was crushed. +But as she reflected in her own justification, one had to have +something to eat, let lovers say what they would. + +"My dear," said Miss Cornelia, coming to the rescue with the little +air of dignity that she could sometimes assume "we certainly wouldn't +want you--not for the world--to marry for money. But one has to be--to +be prudent. We have brought you up in a way--perhaps it was +unwise--poor Mother would have thought so. But at any rate you know +nothing about economy, and--and you have only a little money, my dear, +and he, I suppose, has nothing." + +"He--he expects to make a great deal of money soon," faltered +Elizabeth, coming down a little from her heights of romance. All this +prudence was like a dash of cold water in the face. She felt +disconcerted, indignant, and yet conscious, through it all of some +reason in her aunts' objections. Yes, it was true--she had not been +brought up to economy, she was fond of luxury and pretty things. In +all her wishes for change, she had never thought that it would be +amusing to miss any of these. + +Miss Cornelia saw that she had produced some effect. "I think," she +went on, still speaking with unusual decision, "that the most +important thing is to find out something about him. You can't marry a +man whom we know nothing about, except that--that he was born at The +Mills. We must investigate his character." Miss Cornelia felt, as she +brought out this last sentence, that it sounded eminently practical, +and it received from Miss Joanna, indeed, its full meed of respectful +admiration. Elizabeth only smiled superior. + +"You can investigate as much as you like, Aunt Cornelia," she said. "I +know all about him." And so the matter rested. + +But how could two elderly and innocent spinsters, who had never in +their lives stirred two hundred miles from home, investigate the +character of a young man who had lived in Chicago and Paris and Vienna +and all the four quarters of the world apparently? They had no idea +how to set about it. In this perplexity Miss Cornelia again rose to +the occasion, and suggested that the Rector might be a fit substitute +for that invaluable possession "a man in the family," who is always +supposed to accomplish so much. And the Rector, when consulted, proved +unexpectedly resourceful. He had made Paul's acquaintance, and learned +the name of the church in Chicago where he had sung for so many years. +He had discovered, too, that the Rector of this church was an old +college friend of his, and he wrote to him at once, requesting full +and confidential information as to the young man's character, +antecedents, and prospects. + +The answer seemed to the poor ladies a long time in coming; as a +matter of fact, it arrived very promptly. The Rector of St. Anne's at +Chicago regretted to inform his old friend and colleague the Rector +of St. Mary's, at Bassett Mills, that he had no good account to give +of Paul Halleck, who had not long ago been dismissed from the choir of +his church, and had left behind him in Chicago many debts and a bad +reputation. The young man was believed to have, as the Rector added, +genuine musical talent; but like many artists and musicians, he was +morally irresponsible, dissipated and reckless. + +The Rector of St. Mary's repeated the verdict, as gently as he could, +to the older ladies at the Homestead. They bore it better than he +expected. There were compensations indeed in the very extent of its +severity. Had Halleck been less evidently and irredeemably a black +sheep, there might have been some doubts as to their own duty; but, as +it was, they felt that they must break off the dreadful match at once, +and at any cost. + +Yet the heart of each sister misgave her as they sat in a solemn +conclave, and summoned Elizabeth before it. She came, rosy, +bright-eyed, fresh from talks with her lover and happy dreams of a +brilliant future, which they were to share together. She stood +listening in apparent indifference, while Miss Cornelia faltered out +the painful result of their inquiries. And when the worst was told, +she had turned perhaps a trifle pale, but otherwise she seemed +unmoved. + +"I don't know why you tell me all this, auntie," she said, slowly. +"I--I am sorry to hear it, but it can make no difference." + +"No difference!" Miss Cornelia repeated, stupefied. "No difference, +Elizabeth?" + +"No, it can't change my love for him," she said, defiantly. "He told +me that he has enemies at Chicago, and that you would probably unearth +a lot of old scandals; and I promised that it should make no +difference. Perhaps some of them are true; I don't care. Auntie, I +can't--I can't give him up," she went on with a sudden change of tone +and clasping her hands appealingly. "I tried to once before, and--I +couldn't. If he were to go away now and leave me, I--I should die. I +couldn't bear to go on living without him." The girl's face was +flushed, her voice tremulous with feeling; it was evident that she +fully meant--or thought that she meant--what she said. Her aunts +looked at her in helpless perplexity. + +"My darling," Miss Cornelia faltered at last, "think how much better +it is to give him up now than to--to marry him and be unhappy. You +don't know--men are very bad;--one reads such things in the +newspapers. If he were to ill-treat you, desert you." + +"Ah, but he won't," said Elizabeth, smiling incredulously. "You +needn't worry, Aunt Cornelia; we shall be very happy. But even if we +were not," she concluded, with a sudden burst of defiance. "If I +thought that he would beat me, treat me like a dog--I don't care; I +should marry him to-morrow." + +And she thrust out her full under lip, and stood facing them, with a +look of obstinacy on her fair, girlish face, that for the moment bore +a strong resemblance to her father. + +To Miss Cornelia's mind there rose again, with startling vividness, +the events of twenty years before. The recollection seemed to endow +her with an unwonted and unnatural strength. She went over to where +Elizabeth stood and took both the girl's hot hands in hers. + +"Elizabeth," she said, desperately, "you don't know what you're +saying. You will be miserable if you marry that man. You don't know +what it is to live with a person who is beneath you, who--who drags +you down. We know, my darling, we have seen it. Be warned by us, and +give him up." + +Miss Cornelia had never in all her gentle life spoken with so much +vehemence. Elizabeth, in her astonishment, stood for a moment +absolutely passive. She stole a glance at Miss Joanna; she was weeping +quietly. Elizabeth's own face worked, her lip quivered. "I know whom +you mean," she broke out, suddenly, in a quick hard voice. "You're +thinking of my mother." And then, in the dismayed pause that followed, +she dragged her hands away from Miss Cornelia's grasp and fled from +the room. + +The two older women looked at one another in silence. + +"I didn't know," Miss Joanna said at last in a low, awe-struck tone +"that the child knew anything about--about poor Malvina." + + + + +_Chapter IX_ + + +"And so you let all this nonsense influence you?" Halleck asked this +bitterly, staring up with moody eyes into Elizabeth's face. They were +sitting under a wide-spreading tree, in a field not far from the +Homestead. It was late afternoon and the shadows were long and +peaceful. A ray from the sinking sun shot through the foliage overhead +lighting up the red tints of Elizabeth's hair. Halleck's artistic eye +rested upon them fascinated. He had never, as he told himself, been so +much in love before. + +"You give me up because of a little opposition?" he went on bitterly, +roused to increased irritation by the thought of losing her. + +"Why, what can I do?" The girl's voice was weary, and she threw out +her hands with a helpless gesture. "They will give in to me, I +suppose, if I insist; but it makes them too unhappy. I believe it +would kill them. If they were unkind, I shouldn't care; but they only +cry, and are so wretched, and I can't stand it. It makes me feel so +ungrateful." + +"And yet," said Halleck, anxiously, "you think they will give in in +the end?" + +"Oh, yes, they'll give in," said Elizabeth, wearily. "They'll give +in, if I insist; and that's the very reason why I--what makes it so +hard, you see." + +"No, I don't see," said Paul, bluntly. "If you think they will give +in, why are you so unhappy? But I understand how it is" he went on, +harshly, "you don't love me. I'm too far beneath you--a Bohemian and +an outcast. You are glad of an excuse to throw me over." + +"Paul!" The indignant color flushed into Elizabeth's face. "How can +you say such things," she asked reproachfully. "You know they are not +true. I told my aunts that I would never give you up; I told them +that--that I would marry you to-morrow, if I could." + +"You told them that?" Paul exclaimed exultantly. He put his arm around +her and drew her towards him. "Then keep your word, darling," he said. +"Marry me to-morrow." + +Elizabeth shrank away, startled. "Marry you," she repeated. +"To-morrow, how could I?" + +"Why not," said Paul, quietly. "Come up to Cranston and we will be +married. Then let them say what they please." + +Elizabeth was very pale. "I couldn't do that," she said in a low +voice. "I don't want to be married so soon; and besides--it would kill +my aunts." + +He laughed. "Nonsense! People soon resign themselves to what they +can't help. And then they needn't know--yet awhile. Listen, darling, +this is my plan. You know that I want to go abroad--well, I have had a +letter offering me a position in an opera company in Munich. If I +accept it I start this week." + +He stopped as Elizabeth gave a little cry and stared up at him with +reproachful eyes. "This week," she said. "You go away this week?" + +"Why, I can't stay here forever, you know," Paul said. "I've idled +away my time unconscionably already--but that is your fault, +Elizabeth. Now it is time I went to work. And that is why I say--marry +me before I go. Then, while I am away, nothing can separate us." + +Elizabeth, pale and thoughtful, seemed to ponder the suggestion. +"Marry you," she repeated, slowly. "Marry you--now at once?" + +"Yes, to-morrow," said Paul, boldly. + +"And--and keep it _secret_?" she went on, with a troubled look. + +"Yes, for a little while," said Paul, "for a few months, till I come +back. I shall have made my name and my fortune, darling, I hope, by +that time, and your aunts will be quite reconciled to me." + +"Then wouldn't it be better," said Elizabeth, with much reason, "to +wait till then?" + +"Are you willing to wait--in uncertainty all this time?" he asked, +reproachfully. "Ah, Elizabeth, it is evident that you don't love me as +I love you. Such an absence would be unbearable to me, if I felt that +some lover was likely to come along at any time and take you from me." + +Elizabeth could not help reflecting that the danger of such a +catastrophe did not seem imminent, in the present condition of the +Neighborhood; but she did not put the thought into words. She only +said, with some dignity: "I don't think that I am the sort of girl to +change so easily." + +"Ah, you can't tell," said Paul. "Women are fickle beings. I don't +trust you, Elizabeth. I have a feeling that, if you don't marry me +now, you never will. And why should you hesitate?" he went on eagerly. +"It isn't so much that I ask. I don't even say--come abroad with me +now; only give me the certainty that when I come back, I shall be able +to claim you." + +"You would have that certainty now," she still insisted. "I promise +that I will marry you when you come back." + +"Then why not marry me now," he asked, triumphantly. + +Elizabeth could give no good reason to the contrary. The idea was +vaguely alarming, yet it held for her a certain fascination. She sat +listening in troubled uncertainty, while Paul discoursed with +enthusiasm over the many advantages of his plan. He was exceedingly +anxious, as he had said, to make sure of this beautiful girl, who was, +he vaguely felt, a little above him--of a grade superior to that of +the other girls whom he had known and made love to, for the space of a +fortnight perhaps. He had been true to Elizabeth, now, for more than +double that time. He really believed that he should be true to her +always. There were other things that attracted him besides her beauty. +The thought that Elizabeth was Miss Van Vorst of the Homestead was not +unpleasant to him; the old house, the family silver, the family +traditions, appealed to his artistic sense of fitness. And then though +he was no fortune-hunter, and certainly would have made love to no +girl whom he did not for the moment at least sincerely admire, he +admitted to himself, frankly, that it was by no means inconvenient +that Elizabeth should have a little money of her own and the prospect +of more in the future. The Van Vorst property, while it was +insignificant enough when measured by the standard of the Van Antwerps +and other rich people in the Neighborhood, seemed by no means +contemptible to Paul, who measured it by the standard of +poverty-stricken Bohemia. + +Elizabeth's feelings were more complex, less frankly selfish, much +more anxious and uncertain. The money question did not enter into them +to any great extent, though she had an instinctive dread of poverty, +and she was convinced that, if once married to Paul, she would not be +able to have the pretty gowns, and other luxurious trifles, which had +hitherto seemed a necessity of life. But she was young and romantic, +and this thought did not weigh with her very much. What most +distressed her, and made her feel in some way vaguely in the wrong, +was the trouble this, her first love affair, seemed to bring to +others; to her aunts, to Amanda. She loved her aunts, and hated to run +counter to their wishes; she did not love Amanda, and yet the thought +of having injured her, though unconsciously, brought with it an +uncomfortable sense of guilt. + +She had not seen her since that terrible interview, which she still +could not recall without a feeling of humiliation; but she had seen +her aunt, who told her that Amanda was ill with some low +fever--typhoid malaria, probably; there was always a good deal of that +at The Mills. It was not considered wise that Elizabeth should see +her; and besides, Amanda was delirious, and did not recognize any one. +Elizabeth was more relieved than sorry to hear it. No doubt, she told +herself, Amanda was already out of her head when she uttered that +extraordinary outburst, and it was foolish to attach any importance to +what she said in her feverish excitement. Still, Elizabeth did not +like to think of it, much less of the promise she herself had given, +voluntarily, in such forcible words. She had been so absolutely +sincere in making it; she had broken it so completely within the hour. +The whole affair was unpleasant, and weighed upon her more than those +more serious charges against Paul, which had fallen vaguely upon her +ear, not seeming to make any deep impression. His conduct to Amanda +was at its worst a mere trifle in comparison. + +Still she could not give him up. That broken promise to Amanda only +proved this the more strongly. She could not face the prospect of life +without him. And yet she could not face without terrible misgivings +the prospect of further tears and remonstrances from her aunts. The +two claims struggled for the mastery; on the one hand, the claims of +the women who had brought her up, whose every thought for twenty years +had centred in her; on the other, the claims of the man who had loved +her in his light way some five weeks. Under these circumstances, it +was inevitable that the claims of the man should predominate. And yet +Elizabeth longed to satisfy them both. + +Paul's plan seemed to suggest a compromise. And Elizabeth had not yet +learned that compromise is never satisfactory to either side. + +"Listen," she said, looking at him intently, with eyes that seemed to +hold, even in the moment of yielding, a certain defiance of his power, +"If I do as you wish, if I--I marry you to-morrow, I am free to--to +come home at once, to go on with my life as if nothing were +changed--not to tell my aunts, not to tell any one, till you come +back? Do you promise this, on your word of honor?" + +For a moment Paul hesitated. He had hardly expected her to yield so +easily; perhaps if he pressed the matter she might be persuaded even +to go abroad with him at once. But there were financial reasons which +made that inexpedient just then. On the whole, Paul decided not to +test his power too far. + +"Upon my word of honor," he said, looking her steadily in the face "I +promise that you shall be free as air, to go on with your life as you +please, till I come back to claim you." + +And so the thing was settled. Paul was to go to Cranston early the +next morning to make all necessary arrangements; Elizabeth was to +follow him a little later. They were to be married at once. Then Paul +was to take an afternoon train for New York, Elizabeth was to return +home, the whole affair should remain a secret. + +Then Paul, radiantly triumphant, clasped Elizabeth in his arms, and +pressed his lips to hers. + +"To-morrow," he whispered, "to-morrow, my darling, at this +time--though the world won't know it--still you will be my wife." + +A strange feeling thrilled Elizabeth. She could not have told if it +were pleasure, or some involuntary presentiment. But aloud she +repeated mechanically: "Yes, I shall be your wife." + +"You won't fail me, dearest," he said, scanning her face eagerly. "You +won't break your word? You have promised--you won't fail me?" + +"No," Elizabeth answered, "I have promised--I won't fail you." + +And yet the thought crossed her mind irrelevantly, that she had broken +a promise once already. + +She left him and went home through the stillness and the fast +gathering shadows of the evening. The days were already growing +shorter. She noted the fact mechanically; noted too that the deep +glowing crimson of the sunset foretold a hot day for the morrow. She +entered the house and looked in at the dining-room; the table was set +out for tea with all the wonted care. Her aunts sat each at one end; +they were neither of them eating and both had red eyes. In the centre +of the table stood Elizabeth's favorite cake--the kind with the +raisins in it, which she used to beg for as a child, and which was +reserved either as a reward for virtue, or for consolation in some +childish trouble. Now in this trouble that was so far from childish, +poor Miss Joanna had bethought herself of the old attention, and +brought out the favorite cake as the only means of comfort within her +power. Elizabeth could not see it without a lump in her throat. + +She smoothed her ruffled hair before the glass and came in quietly to +her usual place at the table. They looked up nervously at her +entrance, but neither spoke; they did not reproach her with being late +or ask where she had been. Miss Joanna pressed upon her the various +dainties, reminding her that she had eaten no dinner; otherwise the +meal was a silent one. It was not till near the end of it that +Elizabeth spoke in a strained harsh voice unlike her own. + +"Paul is going away." That was what she said. "He--has an engagement +to go abroad. He goes to New York to-morrow. I--I hope you are +satisfied." + +And then she stopped, for the look of tremulous relief on both their +faces was almost more than she could bear. The raisins in her favorite +cake seemed suddenly to choke her. She began to doubt, after all, +whether she would go to Cranston the next day. + + + + +_Chapter X_ + + +This was Elizabeth's last thought that night; it was her first in the +morning. She dressed herself carefully, putting on white, according to +the custom which had aroused Aunt Rebecca's criticism; and all the +while she asked of the reflection that stared back at her with +perplexed eyes out of the mirror: "Shall I go, or shall I not?" She +put the question to a rose when she got down-stairs, repeating as she +ruthlessly destroyed each petal. "Yes, no, yes, no?" But the flower +answered with a "no," and she threw away the last petal in disgust. + +"I think I shall drive over to The Mills this morning," she announced +quietly at the breakfast-table. "There is some ribbon I want to +match." Her aunts looked up startled. They wondered simultaneously at +what hour Halleck was to leave for New York. Yet what if after all the +child wished for one last meeting? + +"You don't think it's--it's too hot to go over there to-day, my dear?" +Miss Cornelia ventured at last uncertainly. + +"No, I don't mind the heat," Elizabeth answered indifferently, as she +sat playing with her knife and fork. She was very pale and had no +appetite. This seemed to them only natural. They hoped that when the +young man were once out of the way, their darling would be herself +again. + +"We must take her to the sea-shore for a little while," Miss Cornelia +observed when Elizabeth had left the room. "She needs change of air." +Miss Joanna cheerfully assented. The idea and the sacrifice which it +involved (since to go away from home, even for a few weeks, seemed a +terrible undertaking) consoled them both greatly. + +And meanwhile Elizabeth went her own way. It was not till she was +seated in the carriage about to start on her drive, that she observed +as if by an afterthought: "Oh, by the way, if I can't match the ribbon +at The Mills, I may go to Cranston for it by the trolley, so don't be +worried if I don't come back till late, and don't wait dinner." Her +aunts looked at one another questioningly; but she drove off at once, +before they could offer any objections. + +And so Elizabeth drove towards Bassett Mills. The day was dry and hot, +as were most days that summer. The sun beat down out of a brazen sky, +the roads were white with dust, the grass in the fields was sere and +brown. The locusts all along the way kept up a loud, exultant song, +the burden of which was heat. + +To Elizabeth, as she drove on, there began to be something ominous in +it all; in the heat and the dust and the dazzling sunshine and the +locusts with their eternal noise. They seemed all part, and she with +them of some horrible nightmare; she was under some spell which +benumbed her, deprived her of the capacity for thought, of all but +the power to keep doggedly on the way to Bassett Mills. What she +should do when she got there she did not know; her brain was torpid, +there was a strange ringing in her ears. It was the sun, no doubt, +that was affecting her head; it would be wise to turn back, or she +might be ill. But still she kept on. + +It was not far from noon when she reached Bassett Mills. There was +little life about the place this hot morning; the mill-stream even +seemed to dash less tumultuously, and showed signs of running dry. A +group of men stood outside the drug-store, which was a great +meeting-place, and discussed the drought. It was decided that if it +continued the crops would be ruined; but hopes were founded on the +fact that prayers for rain were to be offered in all the churches on +Sunday. + +"But there's not much use praying for rain," said one skeptic, "when +the wind's due west." + +Elizabeth heard the words as she drove up, and, alighting tied the +white pony to a post and bribed a small boy to "keep an eye" on him. +Then she joined the group in front of the shop, who were some waiting +for the trolley, others merely passing the time of day. She did not go +into the dry-goods shop to try to match her ribbon; she knew that such +ribbon as she wanted was not to be had at Bassett Mills. She stood +idly listening to the men's conversation, and wondering if it were +indeed true, as the skeptic had declared, that it was useless to pray +for an event already determined by natural causes. She had been +brought up to believe implicitly in the efficacy of prayer, and had +added to her usual formula that morning a petition of unwonted fervor +that she might be enabled in this perplexing situation to decide for +the best. But perhaps there was no use in praying; perhaps one was not +a free agent. Fate, she thought, had evidently determined that she +should go to Cranston that morning to be married, since it was a thing +that might so easily have been prevented--by an objection from her +aunts, an offer of company on the expedition, even by the white pony +going lame; she would have yielded, or so she thought, to the merest +trifle, glad to have the decision taken out of her hands. But +everything had been made easy; it evidently was to be. And an implicit +believer in heredity might have observed that the matter had been +decided for her, by events and influences which had moulded her +character even before she was born. It was in just such clandestine +fashion as this that her parents had once gone up to Cranston to be +married; and it might be that some mysterious hereditary instinct, +some force over which she had no control, was now constraining their +daughter, under the same circumstances, to act in the same way. + +Elizabeth, fortunately or otherwise, did not think of this. She only +knew that she was standing outside the drug-store with the other +loiterers, straining her eyes along the dusty white road for a sight +of the trolley; and that, even while she doubted the wisdom of +waiting, some fascination held her rooted to the spot. When the +trolley came she took her seat at once. After all a trip to Cranston +meant nothing; she might simply buy her ribbon and come back. + +The trolley started off fast and jerkily, creating a teasing wind, +that seemed to blow from some fiery furnace. Elizabeth clutched her +hat with one hand, while with the other she tried to shield her eyes +from the flying dust and glare. Soon they were past the cemetery and +the straggling outskirts of Bassett Mills, out into the open country, +with rolling meadow and upland on either side, all withered, scorching +under the sun's fierce rays. An occasional wagon met them, wrapped in +a cloud of dust; the trolley was hailed now and then from some +solitary farm-house, and came to a sudden stop. The ride seemed +endless, but that they were approaching Cranston was at last made +evident by unmistakable signs; by the advertisements staring at them +from trunks of trees and the expanse of stone walls; by the asphalt +pavement that succeeded the rough country road, the increasing +quantity of bicycles, carriages and dust; and finally by the neat rows +of Queen Anne villas, with their gabled fronts and terraced gardens +sloping to the road. Then the car, with a last triumphant jerk, turned +a corner and landed its passengers squarely in the High Street of +Cranston. + +Elizabeth alighted rather limply, and stood looking about her in a +dazed sort of way. A country woman laden with parcels addressed her +timidly. "Excuse me miss," she said, "but would you tell me the best +place to go for stockings?" + +Elizabeth started and stared at her, as if the simple question had +been put in Hebrew. Then in a moment she recovered herself and +directed the woman very civilly. She watched her bustle off upon her +round of errands, then turned and slowly walked into the +confectioner's shop. It was there that she had promised to meet Paul. + +There was no one, as it happened, in the front part of the shop, where +candy and cake were sold; no one in the little restaurant at the back. +Elizabeth sat down at one of the small marble-topped tables; her head +was aching, her eyes blood-shot, she was conscious of nothing but a +feeling of pleasure in the coolness and darkness, of relief from the +outside glare. Mechanically, she glanced at the small mirror, that +hung at an unbecoming angle opposite on the wall, and felt a slight +shock at the sight of herself--pale, worn, with blood-shot eyes, her +white gown dusty and bedraggled. No, she did not look well--she had +never looked worse in her life. Her lips curled in an unmirthful +smile, as she thought irrelevantly of Aunt Rebecca, and of how she +might have held forth on the folly of wearing white for such a dusty +ride. And thereupon with a sudden pang, came the thought of +Amanda--Amanda, tossing no doubt just then in the delirium of fever. +The unpleasant idea struck Elizabeth of a resemblance between her own +white face in the mirror, and her cousin's face as she had last seen +it, with those staring, red-rimmed eyes. Certainly, there was a latent +family likeness; but it took unbecoming conditions such as these to +bring it out. She wondered languidly if any one else had ever noticed +it. + +Poor Amanda! Was she still, in her delirium, fretting over Paul? Or +was she, perhaps, secure in Elizabeth's promise, and the pleasure of +having separated them? What would she think if she knew that Elizabeth +was even now waiting for him here in Cranston--waiting to be married +to him? But with this thought the spell of indifference which had +rested upon Elizabeth seemed suddenly to fall away, and there swept +over her a sudden sense of revolt, of shame and repulsion. She started +impulsively to her feet. No, she could not be married--not in that +way; it was clandestine, disgraceful. There was still time to escape. +If only she could reach home, without seeing Paul! She made one quick, +blinded rush for the door, and then, a tall figure stood in her way, +and her hands were seized in a man's eager grasp. His handsome, +exultant face looked into hers. + +"My brave girl," he said. "So you have not failed me." + + + + +_Chapter XI_ + + +Elizabeth with a great effort wrenched her hands away from Paul's +grasp, and fell against one of the marble-topped tables. Her face was +white, her dull eyes looked up at him with a sort of terror. + +"I--I have failed you," she said, speaking slowly and thickly, with +parched lips. "I have come, but I--cannot stay. I was going when you +came in." + +"Elizabeth!" The look of exultant joy faded slowly and reluctantly +from Paul's face. "Elizabeth, what do you mean? Why did you come if +you don't mean to stay?" + +"Because I--was crazy." She was trembling now, and she clung to the +table for support; but still she was firm. "I--I didn't think what I +did. Now I--I know. It would be wrong to marry like this--so secretly. +I must go home. Let me pass." She spoke the last words quickly, +imperiously, and made a motion as if to brush past him; but he stood +motionless in the door and blocked her way. + +He was very angry; she had never seen him so before. The emotion lent +a curious brute strength to his fair, sensuous beauty. His face was as +white as hers, his full red lips were set in a curve of unwonted +determination. + +"Listen to me, Elizabeth." He had never spoken to her in such a tone +before. "I won't be trifled with like this. I have made all the +arrangements. I won't have you--jilt me now. You must come with me, or +I--I'll know the reason why." + +She met his gaze defiantly. "You can't compel me to come you know," +she said. And again she would have passed him, and again he stopped +her. She did not try a third time, but sank into a chair and put up +her hands to her face. A sudden faintness came over her; it might have +been the heat, or the sharp, conflicting play of emotion. He followed +her and gently took her hands from her face and looked into her eyes. + +"Don't be foolish, darling," he said, persuasively. "You know that you +love me, that you are only playing with me. You wouldn't really throw +me over now." + +She looked up reluctantly, fascinated as she had often been before, by +the mere physical attraction of his beauty. "I--I don't know," she +began slowly, and then stopped frightened at the sound of voices in +the shop. A dread flashed over her all at once of a scene in a place +like this. The trifling, frivolous consideration turned the scale in +Paul's favor. She rose, shook off his grasp, and gave a hasty glance +in the glass. + +"No, I won't throw you over," she said. "It's all wrong but--as you +say, it's too late now. Take care--some one is coming." She gave a +warning look at the door, as Paul pressed her hand. + +So the threatened scene was averted and Elizabeth's fate was sealed. +The people who, after buying candy in the shop, came into the little +back room for some ice cream, saw a young woman arranging her hair +before the glass, and a young man waiting for her--a not unusual +sight. + +What followed seemed in after life a dream to Elizabeth. There were +times when she tried to think that it had never happened; that the +whole thing was a mere figment of the imagination. But on that day she +was quite conscious that it was she herself, in very flesh and blood, +Elizabeth Van Vorst, who walked by Paul Halleck's side through the +glaring, sunny streets of Cranston, went with him into a dimly-lighted +church, let him place a ring upon her finger, spoke her share in the +marriage service, and wrote her maiden name for what should have been +the last time, in the parish register. The clergyman was very old and +mumbled over the service; the witnesses, two servants of his, were old +and feeble, also, and took but small interest. The church was damp +like a tomb after the heat without; Elizabeth found herself shivering +as from a chill. It was a relief to come out again into the heat which +had been so oppressive before. But on the church steps Elizabeth gave +a little cry. A funeral was slowly filing past, its black trappings +standing out in incongruous gloom against the noon-day brilliance. + +Elizabeth looked at Paul. He had turned very white, and he too was +shivering. "It is a bad omen," he said, in a low voice, as if to +himself. He said no more, but led the way carefully in the opposite +direction from that which the funeral had taken. + +They found themselves in a part of Cranston unknown to Elizabeth. The +road was bordered on either side by flowering hedges and led +apparently into the open country. There were no houses in sight; for +the moment, even no people. Halleck suddenly turned and clasped +Elizabeth almost roughly in his arms, while he pressed passionate +kisses upon her brow, her lips, her hair. + +"My darling," he cried "I can't--I can't give you up. I was mad to +promise it. Let everything go and come with me to New York." + +"No, no, I can't," she murmured faintly. "I can't." His vehemence +stunned, bewildered her; but instinctively she struggled against it. +"You promised," she cried out indignantly, "you promised that I should +be free--till you came back. I've kept my word, you must keep yours." + +He let her go and for a moment they eyed each other steadily. This +time the victory remained with her. "Did I really make that promise?" +he said at last with a sigh. "Well, if I did, I must keep it, I +suppose. But, Elizabeth, you must be made of ice--you can't love me, +or you wouldn't hold me to it." + +Elizabeth was chiefly conscious of an overpowering sense of relief. + +"I do love you," she said, soothingly, "but indeed it is better--much +better to let things be as we arranged them. I can't go to New York in +this dress"--she gave a little tremulous laugh, as she glanced at her +fluffy muslin skirts. "Only a man could suggest such a thing. And then +my aunts!--they would be distracted. No, no, I must go home at once. +You will be back in six months," she went on, trying to console him. +"They will pass very quickly." + +"Six months," he sighed. "It is an endless time." He was the picture +of gloom as they turned and walked steadily back to the busy part of +Cranston. And she, too, had her regrets. The compromise was +satisfactory to neither. + +At the corner of the High Street they parted. There was no opportunity +for more than a hand-clasp, a few hurried words of farewell. Then he +went his way to the railroad station, and she hurried to the trolley. +The country woman with the many parcels was there before her, and told +where she got the stockings, and how much she paid for them. + +Back again went the trolley, along the asphalted road past the Queen +Anne villas with their terraced gardens, past bicycles, carriages, +wagons, and always clouds of dust; out into the open country, with +rolling meadow and upland on either side, simmering in the heat of the +summer afternoon, to which the morning heat was as nothing; Elizabeth +sitting upright, shading her eyes from the glare, with aching head and +burning eyes, and throbbing brain that refused to take in the reality +of what she had done. This was her wedding journey. + +An hour later the white pony brought her home. + +"Did you--did you match your ribbon, dear?" Miss Joanna inquired +anxiously. Elizabeth stared blankly for a moment. + +"I--I never thought of the ribbon," she cried at last, and burst into +hysterical laughter. + + + + +_Chapter XII_ + + +It was that time of year when the Neighborhood, and the whole +riverside, are in their glory. Day after day dawned clear and frosty, +to warm at noon-day into a mellow brilliance. On every side stretched +wooded meadow and upland all aglow, resplendent in varied tints of +crimson and russet, magenta and scarlet, blending in a glorious scheme +of color, till they melted at last into the soft gray haze, which +rested, like a touch of regretful melancholy, on the tops of the +distant hills. Over the fields the golden-rod was still scattered +profusely, amidst the sober browns and purples of the bay, and the +pale lavender of the Michaelmas daisies. Red berries glistened on the +bushes, the ground was covered, every day deeper, with a carpeting of +fallen leaves and chestnut burrs. + +On one of these autumn days, when the light was fading into dusk, Mrs. +"Bobby" Van Antwerp came to call at the Homestead, and found no one at +home but Elizabeth, who was kneeling on the hearth-rug, staring into +the fire. + +Elizabeth's thoughts were not pleasant ones. She had refused to go to +Cranston with her aunts that afternoon, for she had never been near +the place since that hot July day, nearly three months before, when +she had forgotten to match her ribbon. What construction her aunts +placed upon the episode she never knew. They did not allude to it in +words, but treated her with added care and solicitude, as if she were +recovering from some illness. In pursuance of this theory, they took +her to a highly recommended and very dull seaside place, where she was +extremely bored. She returned in better health, though hardly better +spirits. She had now a new trouble, which increased as the autumn +advanced. Paul's letters, at first many and ardent, grew fewer and +colder, till they ceased altogether. Elizabeth's last letter remained +unanswered, and she was too proud to write again. No doubt, she told +herself, his thoughts were occupied by some new attraction. With a +sudden flash of intuition, she realized that for Paul there would +always be an attraction of some kind, and generally a new one. + +This unpleasant perception had one good result, at least; it lightened +her sense of remorse towards Amanda. She had long ago got over the +ordeal of seeing her cousin again, and the strange scene between them +had been relegated to a curious phase of unreality, covered up and +almost obliterated, as such scenes not infrequently are among +relations and intimate friends, by the thousand commonplace incidents +of every-day life. And yet some sort of apology had been proffered by +Amanda, as she sat up in her white wrapper, very pale and hollow-eyed, +with her red hair cut short, and just beginning to come in in soft +waves like Elizabeth's--a thing she had always desired. + +"You know," she said, in her weak voice "I was real sick that last +time you saw me. I was just coming down with the fever." + +"I know you were," Elizabeth said gently, conquering the thrill of +anger which swept over her at the recollection. + +"I guess I said some queer things," Amanda ventured next, and gave an +odd, furtive look from her light eyes. + +"You certainly did," said Elizabeth, coldly. Not all the pity she felt +for Amanda's weakness could avail to make her speak in any other way. + +"Well, I guess," Amanda said, after a moment and closing her eyes as +if wearied out, "people aren't accountable for what they say when +they're sick." + +"No," said Elizabeth, "I suppose not." And with this tacit apology and +its acceptance, this episode between the cousins might be considered +closed. Certainly, on Elizabeth's side, it was not only closed, but +forgotten, in the pressure of far more serious troubles. + +As she knelt that afternoon looking into the fire, a vision of her +future life--colorless, empty, without joy or love--seemed to stare +back at her from its glowing depths. The years stretched out before +her, a dreary waste--without Paul. She was sure that he would never +come back; the bond between them seemed the merest shadow. He had +forgotten her in three short months, while she was more in love than +ever, since she had never fully realized, at the time, the void that +he would leave behind him. For a short time her life had bloomed like +the summer; and now nothing was left to her but the fast-approaching +gray monotony of the November days, and the bleak cold of the winter. + +Upon these cheerful reflections entered Mrs. Bobby Van Antwerp, in a +short skirt somewhat the worse for wear, with dark eyes that shone +brilliantly beneath her battered hat, and her small piquante face +glowing with health and exercise. + +"Don't get up," she said. "What a beautiful blaze!" She sat down to it +at once and held out her small, gloveless hands to its pleasant +warmth. "I walked all the way," she announced, triumphantly, "and I +thought I would just drop in, and perhaps you'd give me a cup of tea." + +One must have lived in the Neighborhood to appreciate the informality +of all this. People paid calls in their carriages, with their +card-cases and their best Sunday gowns--it was not good form to come +on foot, even had the distances permitted. But the young woman always +spoken of as "Mrs. Bobby" though her claims to a more formal +designation had long since been established, was a law unto herself +and cared little what the Neighborhood's laws might be. Elizabeth had +already noticed that this great lady, the greatest lady in the +Neighborhood, treated her with more friendliness than other people of +less assured position with whom she was, theoretically, on more +intimate terms. This curious fact, and the cause of it, occupied her +thoughts while she rang the bell and ordered tea, a little flustered +inwardly, but outwardly calm, and comfortably conscious of the +becoming neatness of her serge skirt and velveteen blouse. Whatever +her troubles might be, she had not yet reached so great a pitch of +desperation as to neglect her appearance. + +"Aren't these autumn days beautiful!" said Mrs. Bobby, making herself +at home by unfastening her coat and tossing aside her hat, whereby she +disclosed to view a somewhat tousled halo of curly dark hair. "I tell +Bobby that just these few days in the autumn make up to us for the +bother of keeping the place, though in summer it is fearfully hot, and +unspeakably dull all the year round. It must be very dull for you," +said Mrs. Bobby, coming to a sudden pause. + +"Oh, yes, it's dull," Elizabeth admitted, with a little sigh. + +Mrs. Bobby laughed. + +"Why don't you say 'oh, but I am so fond of the place,' or 'but I'm +not at all dependent on society,' as the other girls in the +Neighborhood do?" + +"I don't know," said Elizabeth, reflectively. "I don't think, for one +thing, that I am so awfully fond of the place; and as for society--I +have never had any, so naturally I get on without it." + +"But you would enjoy it, if you had it?" + +A curious brightness shone for an instant in Elizabeth's eyes. "Ah, +yes, I should enjoy it," she said, quickly. "I'm sure I should." + +"I'm sure you would, too," said Mrs. Bobby. She seemed to reflect a +moment. "Don't you go away in August?" she asked at last. + +"Yes, this year we did," said Elizabeth. "We went to Borehaven. +It--it wasn't very amusing." She stopped short blushing as if the last +words had been wrung from her unawares; but Mrs. Bobby's smile seemed +to invite confidence. + +"Tell me all about it," she said. "Was it very terrible?" + +"Yes, very," said Elizabeth, frankly. "There were a good many girls +who used to promenade up and down, and a number of old ladies who sat +in rows on the piazza and criticized the people and grumbled about the +table; and they one and all treated us as if we had committed some +crime. We were quite distressed till we found out that it was nothing +personal--only the way they always treat new arrivals." + +"Ah, I know the type of place," said Mrs. Bobby "and the people. Were +there any men?" + +"A few who were called men--about sixteen, I should think--most of +them--but they didn't interest me particularly." And Elizabeth +blushed, as she remembered the reason which had made her indifferent, +at least to such men as Borehaven could boast of. Mrs. Bobby noticed +the blush. + +"What!" she said to herself "another attraction in this wilderness? +Not that stupid Frank Courtenay--I hope not. Yet there isn't and never +has been another man in the place that I ever heard of." While she +pondered this problem the tea-things were brought in, and Elizabeth +seated herself at the small table, behind the old silver urn, in the +full glow of the firelight, which played on her hair and brought out +the warm creamy tones of her skin. Mrs. Bobby watched her silently +with her bright dark eyes, her small, pointed chin supported on her +hand. + +"You ought to go to town for the winter," she announced at last +abruptly. This seemed to be the upshot of her reflections. Elizabeth +looked up with a little start, and a momentary brightening of the +eyes, which faded, however, instantly. + +"Oh, my aunts could never bear to leave here," she said. "They have so +taken root in this place. Besides," she went on, constrained to +greater frankness by the consciousness of that quality in Mrs. Bobby +herself "what would be the use if we did go? We know so few people. It +would be horrid to be in New York and not know any one or go +anywhere." + +"Yes, that wouldn't be pleasant," admitted Mrs. Bobby, to whom indeed +such a state of things was inconceivable. "But you would know people," +she went on, after a moment "every one does somehow. There are your +cousins, the Schuyler Van Vorsts, for instance." + +"Who would probably never notice us," said Elizabeth "or if they did, +would ask us to a family dinner." + +"Well, that certainly would be worse than nothing," Mrs. Bobby +admitted. "But--how about your old school friends? You must have known +some nice girls at Madame Veuillet's. You would see, no doubt, a great +deal of them." + +Elizabeth shook her head. "I doubt it," she said. "They spoke--some of +them--of asking me to stop with them, but they have none of them done +so. They don't even write to me any more. It doesn't take long for +people to forget one, Mrs. Van Antwerp," said poor Elizabeth, putting +into words the melancholy philosophy which experience had lately +taught her. + +"My dear child," cried Mrs. Van Antwerp, "you're too young to realize +that--yet." She put out her hand in her warm, impulsive way, and +touched Elizabeth's. "I can promise you one thing," she said. "If you +come to New York, I'll do what I can to make it pleasant for you." + +Elizabeth looked up with glistening eyes. "You're--you're awfully +kind," she began, stammering. In another moment she would have burst +into tears, and perhaps, in the sudden expansion, confided everything +to this new friend--in which case her life's history would have been +different. But just then she heard the sound of wheels, and +immediately she stiffened and the habit of reserve, which had been +growing upon her during the last three months, reasserted itself. When +her aunts entered, in a little glow of excitement after their day at +Cranston, Elizabeth was sitting quite cool and placid behind the +tea-things, absorbed in the problems of milk and sugar. + +The rest of Mrs. Bobby's visit seemed to her rather dull. They sat +around the fire, and Mrs. Bobby drank her tea and ate a great many of +the little round cakes which accompanied it, and which she praised +warmly, to the gratification of Miss Joanna, who had made them. She +told them all about her domestic affairs, and Bobby's affairs, and +the family affairs generally, and was altogether very charming and as +the Misses Van Vorst expressed it, "neighborly;" but still she said +not a word further of their going to town, or of that pleasant if +rather vague promise she had made in a moment of impulse, which +perhaps she already regretted. It was not till she held Elizabeth's +hand at parting that she invited her, as if by a sudden thought, to +dinner on the following Friday. + +"It will be dull, I'm afraid," she said. "Only the Rector and his +wife, and the Hartingtons, and Julian Gerard, who is coming up over +Sunday. You will be the only young girl, and I want you to amuse +Julian. We dine at eight. Do come early, so we can have a talk +beforehand." + +Elizabeth, entirely taken by surprise, had only time to murmur an +acceptance, when Mrs. Bobby hurried off, being hastened by the arrival +of her husband, who had called for her and was waiting outside in the +dog-cart. "Friday, remember," she called out from the yawning darkness +beyond the door, "and come early." Then Bobby Van Antwerp's restless +horse bore her off. + +The Misses Van Vorst returned to the drawing-room, in a state of +considerable excitement. + +"Think of my dining at the Van Antwerps!" Elizabeth exclaimed, still +rosy from the unexpected honor. "I was so taken aback that I could +hardly answer properly. But how on earth am I to amuse Julian--whoever +he may be, and what have I got to wear?" + +"It's a--a very nice attention," said Miss Cornelia, complacently. +"She's never asked the Courtenay girls, I know, from what their mother +told me. She said they thought it a pity she was so unsociable. I +think, sister, when we see them we might mention that we don't find +her unsociable--just casually, you know. As for what you can wear, my +dear--either your white crepe or white organdie is quite pretty +enough, and much nicer than anything the Courtenay girls would have." + +"To think of dinner at eight o'clock!" said Miss Joanna, who was only +just recovering her powers of speech. "So very fashionable! I wish, +dear, if you can, you would notice what they have. Mrs. Bobby says her +cook is very good at croquettes. I wish you could tell me, dear, if +they are better than ours." + +"I'm afraid I shan't be able to think of croquettes," said Elizabeth, +"what with the burden of being on my best behavior and entertaining +Mr. Gerard. I think by the way, that he must be that dark man I have +seen sometimes in their pew on Sundays. Which would he like me best +in, do you suppose--the white crepe or the organdie? I must get them +both out, and decide which to wear." + +Elizabeth's spirits were as easily exhilarated as they were depressed. +She ran up-stairs, humming a gay little tune which had not come into +her head for many a day. This dinner at the Van Antwerps', with the +prospect of meeting a few of her neighbors and apparently, one +unmarried man, might have seemed to many people a commonplace affair +enough; but to Elizabeth it was a great occasion, and for the rest of +the evening, bright visions of future pleasure danced before her eyes. +That night, for the first time in many weeks, she did not cry herself +to sleep, thinking of Paul. + + + + +_Chapter XIII_ + + +"And you really think I look nicely?" Elizabeth asked this question in +tremulous excitement, as she stood before the long pier-glass in her +room on the night of her first dinner-party. The maid was on her knees +behind her arranging the folds of her train, Miss Joanna stood ready +with her cloak, and Miss Cornelia hovered a little way off, admiring +the scene. Elizabeth held her head high, there was a brilliant color +in her cheeks, her eyes shone like stars. You would hardly have known +her for the same girl who had struggled with sad thoughts and +disappointed hopes in the twilight only a few days before. This seemed +some young princess, to whom the good things of life came naturally, +unsought, by the royal prerogative of beauty. + +"You--you look lovely," faltered Miss Cornelia, forgetting her +principles in the excitement of the occasion "and your dress is +sweet." + +"It is fortunate I had it cut low, isn't it," said Elizabeth, as she +clasped a string of pearls, which had once belonged to her +grandmother, about her round white throat. "There, do I look all +right? You're _sure_ my skirt hangs well? I wanted a white rose, but +we have no pretty ones left." A slight cloud of discontent crossed +her face, but vanished instantly; since really, as she said to +herself, she looked very nice even without flowers. + +"Don't be late," entreated Miss Joanna. "Just think if the dinner +should be spoiled!" + +"Yes, it would be very bad manners," added Miss Cornelia "not to be +punctual." + +"I don't know," said Elizabeth, doubtfully. "It's rather countrified +to be too early." But still she drew on her gloves and put on her +cloak, and started a good half-hour before the appointed time, in +deference to Miss Joanna's fears for the dinner and Miss Cornelia's +sense of the value of punctuality. + +The clock was striking eight as she entered the wide hall of the Van +Antwerps's house, and read, or fancied that she did, in the solemn +butler's immobile countenance, an assurance that she was unfashionably +prompt. The demure little maid who followed him and took Elizabeth's +cloak, regretted to inform her that Mrs. Van Antwerp was not quite +ready, but would be down directly, and hoped that Miss Van Vorst would +excuse her unpunctuality. Elizabeth's heart sank, but the maid was +ushering her into the drawing-room, and there was no retreat. Yet she +shrank back involuntarily, as the long room yawned before her, empty, +except for one person whom she did not know; and thus she stood for a +moment hesitating, her warm Titian coloring framed against the dark +plush of the portiere, and her white gown falling about her in +graceful folds, of a statuesque simplicity almost severe, but from +which her youth and rounded curves emerged all the more triumphant. +Her heart beat fast and there was a deep burning color in her cheeks, +but she held herself erect, with the proud little turn of the head +that seemed to come to her by nature. + +The tall dark man who was turning over the leaves of a magazine at the +end of the room, looked up as she entered and gazed at her for a +moment in silence. Their eyes met; for an instant he seemed to +hesitate. Then he rose and walked slowly towards her. + +"You must let me introduce myself, Miss Van Vorst," he said, and his +voice was like his movements, very deliberate, yet it was clear-cut +and pleasant in tone. "My name is Gerard. Mrs. Van Antwerp told me I +should have the pleasure of taking you in to dinner." + +He spoke so quietly and naturally, and seemed to accept the situation +with such absolute indifference, that whatever awkwardness it might +have contained for a young girl nervous over her first dinner, was +instantly removed. Elizabeth felt grateful, and yet perversely a +little piqued that this grave, dark man should place her at a +disadvantage, that he should be perfectly at home and know exactly +what to do, when she was nervous and flustered. But that kind +Providence which had endowed Elizabeth with so many good gifts had +given her among others a power to cover inward perturbation with a +brave show of self-possession. + +"I'm terribly early," she was able to say now, quite lightly and +easily, though still with that uncomfortable beating of the heart. "My +aunts are very old-fashioned, and insist on punctuality as one of the +cardinal virtues." + +"In which they are quite right, I think," said Mr. Gerard, smiling. +"But when you know Mrs. Van Antwerp well, you will have learned that +it is the one virtue in which she is utterly lacking." + +"I--I don't know her very well," Elizabeth admitted, regretting +somewhat that she could not assert the contrary. "I have never even +been here before," she added, glancing about the room, whose +stateliness was a little overpowering. + +"Really! Then wouldn't you--a--like to come into the conservatory and +look at the flowers?" suggested Mr. Gerard, who seemed to have charged +himself with the duties of host. "Oh, you needn't wait for Mrs. Van +Antwerp," he added, smiling, as Elizabeth hesitated. "I know the time +when she went to dress, and can assert with confidence that she won't +be down for another half-hour." + +So Elizabeth found herself led, somewhat against her will, into the +famous conservatory, of whose beauties she had often heard; but with +which, it must be confessed, she was less occupied than with the man +by her side, at whom she cast furtive glances from beneath her long +lashes. He was tall--decidedly taller than herself, though she was a +tall woman, and rather broadly built than otherwise. His dark, +smooth-shaven face, which had lighted up pleasantly when he smiled, +was in repose rather heavy and impassive, with an ugly, square chin, +that seemed to indicate an indomitable will, of a kind to pursue +tenaciously whatever he might desire. In contradiction to this, his +eyes, except when a passing gleam of interest or amusement brightened +their sombre depths, had a weary indifferent look, as if there were +nothing in the world, on the whole, worth desiring. + +"And this is the man," thought Elizabeth, "whom I am expected to +amuse. He doesn't look as if it would be an easy task. But no doubt +Mrs. Bobby has given him the same charge about me, and he is trying, +conscientiously, to obey. That's why he's taken me in here to show me +the sights, the way they do to the country visitors." Her heart leaped +rebelliously at the thought, even while she was saying aloud +mechanically: "'What a fine azalea!' I wonder if I look like a +countrified production. My gown isn't, at least; but then--he wouldn't +appreciate that fact. It probably would be the same to him, if it came +out of the Ark; he isn't the sort of man to notice, one way or the +other. I don't believe he cares for women--no, nor they for him. He's +not at all good-looking, and he must be--thirty-five"--she ventured +another glance. "Oh, that, at least. His hair is quite gray on the +temples. 'Yes, those orchids are beautiful. I never saw anything like +them.' I must do my duty and admire properly; he thinks me very +unsophisticated, no doubt. I don't think I like him. Did Mrs. Bobby +think it would amuse me to--amuse him? But perhaps he is thinking the +same thing about me." And she stole another glance at his face, but +could not read, in his half-closed eyes and unmoved expression, any +indication of his real feelings. + +They had made the round of the conservatory, when suddenly he stopped. +"Don't you--want a flower for your gown," he asked. He looked about +him reflectively. "Let me see," he said. "You would like it to be +white." Elizabeth wondered how he knew that. After a moment's +hesitation, he chose a white rose and gave it to her. She fastened it +carefully in her gown, where its green leaves formed the only touch of +color. + +"How does it look?" she asked innocently, and raised her eyes to his, +where unexpectedly they encountered an odd gleam, of something that +seemed neither wholly interest nor yet amusement, and that made her +look down again quickly, while the warm color mantled in her cheeks. +It was a moment before he answered her. + +"It looks well," he said then, quietly, "and suits your gown." And +they sauntered back slowly to the drawing-room. + +Mrs. Bobby came hurrying in by the opposite door, fastening as she +went the diamond star in her black lace. + +"My dear child," she said, kissing Elizabeth, "what must you think of +me! It is all Bobby's fault for taking us such a long drive, and I see +he is not down yet either, the wretch! But Julian has been +entertaining you, so it is all right. I'm afraid though that he has +been taking away my character unmercifully, telling you that I am +always late, and other pleasing things of the kind." + +Gerard's smile again softened his face. "Do me justice, Eleanor," he +said. "You know I don't say worse things of my friends behind their +backs than I do to their faces." + +She laughed. "I should be sorry for them if you did," she returned. +"But here," she went on, as voices were heard in the hall, "here, in +good time, are the Rector and his wife. What a blessing they didn't +arrive sooner!" + +The words had hardly left her lips before the Rector and his wife were +ushered in, the latter uttering voluble apologies for being late, and +laying all the blame on the erratic behavior of the village hackman, +who feeling an utter contempt for people who did not keep their own +carriages, reserved the privilege of calling for them at what hour he +pleased. The theme of his unpunctuality was so engrossing that the +Rector's wife would have enlarged on it for some time, had she not +caught sight of Elizabeth, and in her surprise subsided into a chair +and momentary silence. And then strolled in Bobby Van Antwerp, fair, +well-groomed, amiable, and mildly bored at the prospect of +entertaining his neighbors; and immediately afterwards followed the +Hartingtons, still more bored at the prospect of being entertained; +after which they all went in to dinner, and Elizabeth found herself +seated between the Rector and Gerard. + +"You live here all the year round, don't you?" the latter said to her, +somewhere about the third course, when he had given utterance to +several other conventional remarks, and she had grown accustomed to +the multiplicity of forks at her plate, and had decided that the light +of wax candles, beaming softly under rose-colored shades, was +eminently becoming to every one. She looked at him now with an odd +little challenge in her eyes, called forth, in spite of herself, by +the wearied civility of his conversational efforts. + +"Yes, I live here all the year round," she said, in her clear, +flute-like voice. "I--I'm a country girl, you see." + +He smiled. "You are to be congratulated, I think." + +"Do you think so?" asked Elizabeth, in genuine surprise. + +"Why, yes, I love the country; don't you," he said tranquilly. + +She was silent for a moment, her eyes resting absently on the graceful +erection of ferns in the centre of the table, which rose, like a fairy +island, from a lake of glass. "It's not a conventional thing to say," +she answered at last, slowly "but if you want the truth"-- + +"I always want the truth," said Gerard. + +"Well, then, I don't think I do care for the country," she said. "I've +had too much of it. I--there are times when I detest it." She spoke +with sudden vehemence, and she met his wondering gaze with eyes that +were curiously hard. + +Gerard's face clouded. "You don't care for the country," he said, +slowly, "and yet you live here all the year round?" + +"Ah, that's the very reason," she said, lightly. "People always tell +you that you don't appreciate your blessings; but how can you +reasonably be expected to, when you don't have any voice in choosing +them?" + +"If you did, you probably wouldn't like them any better," he retorted. +"And it would be more annoying to think that you had had a voice in +the matter and had chosen wrong." + +"Perhaps," said Elizabeth, "but I should like to make the experiment." +And she stared again thoughtfully at the feathery forms of the ferns. + +"Well, if you had your choice," said Gerard, lazily, "what would you +choose as an improvement on the present state of things?" + +She turned towards him with a slight start. "What should I choose," +she said, slowly "as an improvement on my life just now?" + +"Yes, if you had a fairy Godmother," suggested Gerard. + +"With unlimited power?" questioned Elizabeth. + +He laughed. "Well, not quite that, perhaps," he said, "but--a fairy +Godmother who could give you a good deal. A very charming one, too," +he added, in a low voice. + +Elizabeth knit her brows and pouted out her full lips, in apparently +deep reflection. "If I had a fairy Godmother," she said, musingly, +"and she were to give me three wishes--three, you know, is the magic +number in the fairy tales--why, I should choose first of all, I think, +a season in town"-- + +"Which you might tire of in a month," suggested Gerard. + +"Not at all," said Elizabeth, decidedly, "because my second wish would +be for the capacity to be always amused." + +"And do you really think," said Gerard, "that you would like that--to +go through life as if it were a sort of opera bouffe?" + +"Why not?" said Elizabeth. "I'm a frivolous person. I confess I like +opera bouffe." + +"For an evening, perhaps," said Gerard, "but after a time you'd get +tired of it--oh, yes, I'm sure you would--and you'd begin to think"-- + +"Ah, no, I shouldn't," she interrupted him, eagerly "for that's what +my third wish should be. I should ask for the power never to think. +Thought--thought is horrible." She spoke the last words very low, more +to herself than him, and broke off suddenly, as an odd, frightened +look crept into her eyes. Gerard watched her in some perplexity. + +"This girl," he said to himself "who must be, I suppose, somewhere +about twenty, and has seen, according to Eleanor, nothing of the +world, talks sometimes like a thoughtless child, and sometimes like a +woman of thirty, and an unhappy one at that. I can't quite make her +out." Aloud he said, in an odd, dry voice that he had not hitherto +used towards her, "Now that you have pretty well in theory at least, +reduced yourself to the level of a brainless doll, why not ask, now +that you are about it, for the power not to feel? Then you would +really be a complete automaton, and nothing on earth could have power +to hurt you." + +Elizabeth had grown very pale, and her hands were tightly locked +together under the table. "Ah," she said, wearily "I've exhausted my +three wishes. And, besides, it's too much to ask. No fairy Godmother, +I'm afraid, could give one the power not to feel." + +"Be thankful for that," he said, quickly. "A woman who has no capacity +for suffering is--is--would be unspeakably repellant." + +"Would she?" said Elizabeth, dreamily. "I should think, for my part, +that she would be rather enviable." She sat staring absently before +her, and Gerard did not try to break the silence. In a moment Mrs. +Hartington on his other side claimed his attention, and Elizabeth was +not sorry. She felt vaguely resentful towards him for having made her +think of unpleasant things, which she had resolved not to do that +evening. The dinner went on, and she helped herself mechanically to +dish after dish which was pressed upon her. The Rector turned to her +and made a few labored remarks, adapted as he thought to her youthful +intelligence, and she answered them absently. Bobby Van Antwerp told, +in a languid way, a funny story for the benefit of the table, and the +conversation grew general for awhile. Dinner was nearly over when +Gerard said, turning to her with a pleasant smile: + +"I'm not a prophet, and yet I am going to venture on a prediction. In +a little while, I think, you'll find your fairy Godmother, and have +your season in town, though I don't know if the other things will be +thrown in; and then some time in the course of it, I'll ask you if you +are satisfied, and you'll tell me perhaps, that you are sick of it +all, and are pining for the country, the green fields, and--a--the +view of the river"-- + +He stopped as Elizabeth interrupted him flippantly. "Oh, no, never," +she cried. "I'd prefer city streets to green fields any day, and as +for the river--I've looked at it all my life, and I'm afraid I've +exhausted its possibilities." She was quite herself again, her cheeks +were pink; she looked up at him with laughing eyes. "Confess that you +think me terribly frivolous," she said; "confess that you disapprove +of me entirely." + +"On the contrary," said Gerard, with rather a cold smile "I think +there is a good deal to be said for your point of view--and as for +disapproval, that's a priggish sensation that I hope I don't allow +myself to feel towards any one. Wait till I see you in town," he went +on, more genially "and then perhaps we'll agree better." + +"Ah, but you never will see me in town," she said, sadly. + +"Never?" he returned, slightly raising his eye-brows. "That's rather a +rash prediction. I think I may have the pleasure of meeting you there +before very long. You see I believe in fairy Godmothers," he added, +lightly, as Mrs. Bobby gave the signal, and, rising, he pushed back +Elizabeth's chair. + +She paused for a moment, as she gathered up in one hand the soft white +folds of her gown. "I wish your faith could perform miracles," she +said. And then she followed dreamily in the wake of the well-worn +black satin gown, which had been seen, on many another festive +occasion, on the broad back of the Rector's wife. + +"He does disapprove of me," the girl thought to herself. "He would +have liked me better if I were a little bread-and-butter miss, in +white muslin and blue ribbons, who babbled of green fields and taught +a class in Sunday school. That's the kind of woman he admires. He +thinks me hard and flippant, but--I don't care. At least he dropped +that weary, society manner. It is something to have inspired him with +an emotion of some sort, even if it happens to be disapproval." + + + + +_Chapter XIV_ + + +The Rector's wife, after the first surprise, was very glad to see +Elizabeth. It made her feel more at home, and she drew her down now +eagerly, beside her on the sofa by the fire, whose warmth on that +autumn evening modified the somewhat chill atmosphere of the state +drawing-room. + +"My dear Elizabeth, I never expected to see you here." Increased +respect mingled with the surprise in her tone. Elizabeth had certainly +gone up several degrees in her estimation. "It's quite an honor to be +asked--the Courtenays never are, I know, though don't repeat that I +said so. Of course we are asked every year, as is only due, you know, +to the Rector's position, my dear; but almost always the children are +ill, or something goes wrong, and it's three years now since we've +been able to come. It was unfortunate our being late this time. Do you +think Mrs. Bobby was much annoyed?" The Rector's wife lowered her +voice anxiously, as she for the first time waited for a response. + +"Oh, no," Elizabeth was able truthfully to assure her. "I'm sure she +wasn't annoyed." + +"Well, to be sure, the Hartingtons were later"--in a tone of +relief--"but these great swells can do as they please. You look very +nice, Elizabeth, very nice indeed. I never saw that dress before. It +must be pleasant to have something new occasionally"--and the Rector's +wife gave a gentle sigh. "You see I have had the color changed on this +dress--red, I think, makes it look quite different, and it is warm and +pretty for the autumn. Don't repeat this, Elizabeth, but I wore the +same dress here the last time I came to dinner four years ago--only +then it was trimmed with pale blue. It was summer, you see, so it +looked cool. Do you suppose Mrs. Bobby would remember?" + +"Oh, I don't suppose Mrs. Bobby cares"--Elizabeth began absently "much +about dress," she added, hastily. She was looking vaguely about her, +wondering as the familiar voice meandered on, if she were really at +dinner at the Van Antwerps', or prosaically seated as she had so often +been before, in the Rectory parlor. + +Mrs. Hartington, a large fair woman, very splendidly dressed, had +seized upon Mrs. Bobby and was talking to her on a sofa at the other +end of the room. + +"So you have taken up the Van Vorst girl," she was saying, as she +surveyed Elizabeth through her lorgnette. "She is really quite pretty, +and--a--not bad form. That gown of hers is effective--it's so simple. +I wonder how she learned to dress herself, here in the country." + +"Oh, she's learned more than that, Sybil, I imagine," said Mrs. Bobby, +in level tones. "I think her very good form, and extremely pretty. Her +coloring is very picturesque, and quite natural." This very +innocently, without a glance at the conspicuously blonde hair which +her friends said had not been bestowed on Sybil Hartington by nature. + +"She inherits it from her mother, I suppose--a red-haired bar-maid, +wasn't she?" said Mrs. Hartington, again subjecting Elizabeth to a +prolonged scrutiny. "After all, she lacks distinction," she announced, +dropping her lorgnette and turning to more important subjects. + +Mrs. Bobby did not enjoy that half-hour after dinner; neither, +perhaps, did Elizabeth, who had heard several times already the +account of the attack of measles from which the Rectory children had +lately recovered, and was glad when the men appeared in the midst of +it. But if she had expected Mr. Gerard to come up to her to resume +their conversation, as perhaps she had, in spite of her consciousness +of his disapproval, she was destined to be disappointed. Gerard did +give her one long look, as she sat in the full glow of the firelight; +but he turned almost immediately and spoke to Mrs. Hartington, who +had, indeed, the air of confidently expecting him to do so. It was +Bobby Van Antwerp who sauntered up to Elizabeth, hospitably intent on +making her feel at home. + +"It was awfully good of you to come to-night, Miss Van Vorst. These +dinner-parties in the country are stupid things, but, after all, it's +a way of seeing something of one's neighbors. I think you're too +unsociable here, as a rule. It's a bore of course to take one's horses +out at night, but if one always thought of that, one would never go +anywhere." + +"I'm sure," Elizabeth said sincerely, "I was very glad to come. A +dinner-party is a great event to me." + +"Ah, well, it is dull here for a young girl," said Bobby, kindly. "My +wife finds it very dull; but she knows I'm fond of the old place, and +she comes to please me. You and she must try to amuse each other. You +know, between ourselves"--lowering his voice--"Eleanor doesn't always +take to people; it has made some of our neighbors around here feel +rather sore--I'm afraid. But she does take to you, and so I hope we +shall see a great deal of you." + +Elizabeth smiled and murmured her thanks, wondering greatly to find +herself thus singled out from the rest of the Neighborhood; and just +then Mrs. Bobby came up and took her hand. + +"Come," she said, "I want you to play for me. I'm so fond of music, +and I've heard that you play beautifully." + +"Ah, but I don't," Elizabeth protested; but still she allowed herself +to be led to the piano, without undue reluctance. And then that grand +piano, with the name of the maker had been tempting her to try it ever +since dinner-time. + +After all, it is doubtful if Mrs. Bobby cared so very much for music; +but it is possible she knew of some one else who did. Elizabeth had a +gift which had come to her, Heaven knows how!--a gift in which far +greater pianists are sometimes lacking--the power to throw herself +into what she played and to infuse into it something of her own +personality. Her playing seemed no mere, mechanical repetition of what +she had been taught, but the unstudied, spontaneous expression of her +own thoughts and feelings. As she passed at Mrs. Bobby's request from +one thing to another, mingling more set compositions with fragments +from operas and songs of the day, the conversation between Mrs. +Hartington and Gerard slackened, and he glanced more and more +frequently towards the piano. + +"Music is rather a bore--isn't it--after dinner this way," drawled +Mrs. Hartington, noticing this fact. + +"I don't think I agree with you. I'm fond of music," said Gerard, and +after awhile he found an opportunity to saunter over to the piano, +where Elizabeth sat playing, a little absently now, bits from Wagner. +She started and looked up, blushing slightly, as Gerard asked her if +she could play the Fire-music. + +"I--it is a long time since I have tried it," she began, impelled by +some vague instinct to refuse, and then she stopped, and almost +unconsciously her fingers touched the keys, as she caught a look that +seemed to compel obedience. He smiled. + +"Please play it," he said, and though the tone was caressing, there +lurked in it a half perceptible note of command. She felt it, as she +began to play, and he stood listening, his grave eyes fixed upon her +face. "A severe judge," she thought to herself with a proud little +thrill of rebellion. And then, as she played on, she forgot this +thought, and the fear of his criticism; forgot the strange room, and +the strange people, and the fact that she was dining at the Van +Antwerps'; forgot everything but the eyes fixed upon her, and played +as she had never played before. + +Elizabeth had always put the best of herself into her music, her +finest qualities of brain and soul. But now she put into it something +of which she before was hardly conscious, a force and depth and fire, +which stirred inarticulately within her, and found expression in the +throbbing Wagnerian chords. All the magic of the fairy spell thrilled +beneath her touch, as it rose and fell and wove itself in and out +amidst the clash of conflicting motives, while Brünnhilde sank ever +deeper into slumber, and the flames leaped and danced and played about +her sleeping form, and there lurked no premonition in her maiden +dreams of that fatal, all-engrossing love, which was yet to awaken her +from the serenity of oblivion. Then, as the rippling cadence died +away, Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, striking furtive harmonies, +till she passed at length into the poignant sweetness, the passionate +self-surrender of the second act of Tristan, and so on to the +Liebestod, with its swan-song of triumphant anguish, of love supreme +even in death. With the last sobbing chord, Elizabeth's hands fell +from the keys, and she sat staring straight before her, with eyes that +were unusually large and dark. + +"Upon my word she _can_ play," said Bobby Van Antwerp, and looked, for +him, slightly stirred. "She has temperament," Mrs. Hartington coldly +responded and again honored Elizabeth with a prolonged stare. "My dear +child," exclaimed Elizabeth's hostess, "I had no idea you could play +like that." The only person who said nothing was the man for whom she +had played. He stood motionless by the piano, and his face was white +and set. When the applause of the others had ceased, and Elizabeth, +blushing now and smiling, looked up at him in involuntary surprise at +his silence as if from a dream, he started and then, recovering +himself, he spoke mechanically a few conventional words of thanks, and +without comment on her performance, turned abruptly away. + +Elizabeth still sat, a trifle dazed, at the piano, her hands tightly +clasped in her lap. Her cheeks were burning painfully and she bit her +lip to keep back the tears that sprang unbidden to her eyes. She +seemed to have fallen suddenly from the clouds back to earth. After a +moment she rose and went over to her hostess to say farewell. + +"Don't go," Mrs. Bobby entreated, holding her hand, "I really haven't +seen anything of you." + +"I must go, thank you," Elizabeth said, quietly. "William,"--this was +the gardener, who on state occasions officiated as coachman--"will be +furious if he is kept waiting." + +She felt a sudden eagerness to be gone, and Mrs. Bobby admitted the +force of her excuse and parted with her reluctantly. Both Bobby and +Gerard escorted her into the hall, but it was Gerard who placed her +in the carriage, and yet, as he did so, said not a word further of +seeing her again. + +"He probably doesn't wish to," thought Elizabeth, "now that he has +done his duty to the last." The reflection was the only unpleasant one +that she brought away from an otherwise successful evening. + +Gerard sauntered back into the drawing-room, and stood leaning against +the mantel-piece, gazing with thoughtful eyes into the fire, while, as +it leaped and flickered, and sent out glowing tongues of flame, a +woman's face looked up at him framed in her shimmering hair, and the +magic of the fire-music still rang in his ear, mingled with the more +passionate strains of Tristan, the deeper tragedy of Liebestod. + +He had been standing thus a long time when Mrs. Bobby came and stood +beside him. The other guests had left and Bobby had gone off to his +den. + +"Well," she said tentatively, glancing up smiling into his face, +"well, Julian, what did you think of her?" + +He started and looked at her blankly for a moment. "Think of--whom, +Eleanor?" he asked. + +"You know whom I mean--Elizabeth Van Vorst." + +Gerard's eyes wandered back to the fire, where they rested for a +moment absently. "I think," he said at last slowly, and as if weighing +his words with more than his wonted deliberation, "I think there's too +much red in her hair." + +"Too much red in her hair," Mrs. Bobby repeated blankly; then +recovering herself: "But there isn't any, Julian, or very little. I +call her hair golden, not red." + +"Look at it in the fire-light," Gerard insisted imperturbably, "and +you will see that it's a deep red." + +"Well, and if it is," said Mrs. Bobby--"not that I admit for a moment +that you are right--but if it is, red hair is all the fashion +nowadays." + +"No doubt," said Gerard. "It's a matter of taste. But for myself I +never see a red-haired woman"--He stopped, but went on presently with +an effort. "I never see a red-haired woman, that I don't instinctively +avoid her. Yes, it's a--a superstition, if you will. I feel that she +will be dangerous, somehow or another, perhaps to herself, and +certainly to others." A note of unwonted feeling thrilled his voice. +He broke off suddenly and stared again into the fire. + +Mrs. Bobby sat and watched him in silence. "And so," she said to +herself, "_that_ woman's hair was red." + +"You see," said Gerard, presently, looking at her with a smile, "I've +shown the confidence I repose in you by confessing my pet +superstition. Miss Van Vorst's hair is not _very_ red, I admit, except +in some lights, but still it's--it's red enough to be dangerous; and +that fact, and certain other little things I've noticed about her, +incline me to--to avoid her. She puzzles me; I can't quite make her +out. Still, she is certainly a girl whom a great many men would--would +admire. I'm no criterion, I believe." + +"I hope not, I'm sure," said Mrs. Bobby, ruefully "for the sake of +most of the women I know. My dear Julian, I despair of ever getting +you married." + +"My dear Eleanor, if you would only stop trying. Your efforts are, if +you will excuse my saying so, a little too transparent. Do you suppose +that I imagined this evening that your unpunctuality was entirely +accidental?" + +"Imagine what you will, you marvel of astuteness," said Eleanor, +composedly. "I certainly did not intend to hurry down while I knew +Elizabeth to be in such good hands, as I admit yours to be, in spite +of certain faults which I hope marriage will improve. And that's why I +don't relax my efforts, as you call them, while there is such a +superfluity of nice girls in the world, and such an insufficiency of +nice men to deserve them. But I'm disappointed about--about Elizabeth +Van Vorst," she went on, musingly. "I thought--I don't know why, +Julian--but I thought that you would like her." + +Gerard started. "I never said that I--didn't like her," he observed. + +"No, but your remarks seemed to point in that direction. Now I like +her very much. Indeed, to return your confidence with another, +Julian"--she looked up with a smile--"I was thinking, if Bobby +approves, of asking her to spend the winter with me. + +"I knew that," he returned, calmly, "and I approve of the plan highly. +It will be a pleasant change for her, as she doesn't seem exactly +satisfied with her surroundings; and for you it will be a--a"--he +paused, apparently in search of an appropriate word--"an interesting +study," he concluded. + +She looked up in surprise. "A--a study," she repeated. + +"Yes, a study--to see what a girl like that, with the somewhat odd +antecedents that you told me about once, and some contradictory +characteristics that I think she has--to see how she develops in the +storm and stress of a New York season. I--I think you will find it +quite interesting, Eleanor." + +"I'm glad you think so," she returned, softly. "But--how about +yourself, Julian? Couldn't you--just on general psychological +principles--condescend to take an interest in it, too?" + +A shadow fell on Gerard's face. "Oh, for myself," he said, carelessly, +"I'm not easily interested in things nowadays, and above all +not--thank Heaven! not in women." He paused. "All the same," he added, +"you have the best wishes--for the success of your protégée." And with +this he bade her good-night, and left her. + +She sat for a long time without moving, and watched the fire flicker +and die away. + +"On the whole, I'm rather glad her hair is red--in certain lights at +least," she observed at last, apparently to the smouldering embers. +"It--it makes the study still more interesting." + + + + +_Chapter XV_ + + +When Eleanor Van Antwerp had uttered the words "If Bobby approves," +she had given voice to a purely conventional formula; for when, in the +eight years of their married life, had Bobby not approved of anything +that she might chance to desire? She did not suppose for a moment that +he would object to her asking Elizabeth Van Vorst, or any one under +the sun, to spend the winter, and when, the next morning, she paid him +a visit in his den, where he was supposed to be transacting important +business, and proved to be enjoying a novel and a cigar, she was +still, as she asked his permission to carry out her new plan, merely +paying a graceful concession to the perfunctory and outworn theory of +his supremacy. Bobby listened placidly, puffing at his cigar, his +clear-cut, clean-shaven profile, outlined against the window-pane +seeming absolutely impassive in the gray light of the autumn day. But +when she concluded, and was waiting, all aglow with her own +enthusiasm, for his answer, he turned his blue eyes towards her with +an unusually thoughtful look. + +"Well," she said, impatiently, as he still declined to commit himself, +"what do you think?" + +"What do I think," he repeated, slowly, "of your asking Elizabeth Van +Vorst to spend the winter?" + +"Why, yes, I don't want to do it, dear, of course, unless you +approve." + +"Well, then," said Bobby, calmly, "if you ask my candid opinion, I +think it would be a mistake. I--I'd rather you didn't Eleanor, really +I would." + +"Bobby," Eleanor Van Antwerp stared at her husband in incredulous +amazement. "Bobby, you don't mean to say that you don't want me to ask +her?" + +"That's about it." Bobby paused and reflectively knocked the ashes +from his cigar. "You see," he went on, argumentatively "this is the +way I look at it. The girl is good-looking, and all that, and it's +very nice for you to see something of her up here, and I'm only too +glad, for it's awfully sweet of you, darling, to come here on my +account, and I've always been sorry that there wasn't some woman whom +you could be friends with. But to ask a girl to spend the winter, and +introduce her to people, is--is a responsibility; and if you want to +ask any one--why, I'd rather it were some girl whom I know all +about--that's all." + +It was not often that Bobby made such a long speech. His wife could +hardly hear him to the end of it. "But, my dear Bobby" she exclaimed, +breaking in upon his last words, "you know all about Elizabeth Van +Vorst!" + +"Do I," said Bobby, quietly. "I know that her father was a fool, and +that her mother was--worse. Perhaps it would be better if I didn't +know quite so much, Eleanor." + +"For Heaven's sake, don't harp on what happened centuries ago," cried +Mrs. Bobby, who had not been born in the neighborhood. "I've always +thought it a shame the way people here snub that poor girl. People +can't help what their fathers and mothers were like. If mine were +fairly respectable, I'm sure it's no credit to me." + +"None at all," Bobby assented, "but still you'd feel rather badly if +they were not. It's a natural feeling, Eleanor. I'm not a crank about +family, but on general principles, I think a girl whose mother was a +lady is more apt to behave herself than one whose mother was--well, +quite the reverse." + +"And on general principles," said Eleanor, quickly "I agree with you, +but I think Elizabeth Van Vorst the exception that proves the rule." + +"Then I would rather," said Bobby, tranquilly, "that it were proved +under some one else's auspices than yours." + +"But that doesn't seem likely, under the circumstances," exclaimed his +wife, impatiently. "Really, Bobby, you disappoint me. I never supposed +you had such narrow-minded ideas. The girl has been very well brought +up by those dear old aunts, and she is perfectly well-bred. And I'm +sure there is plenty of good blood in the family as well as bad. The +Schuyler Van Vorsts are their cousins, and lots of old Dutch families. +I dare say, if we went far enough back, we'd find ourselves related +to them, too." + +"I dare say," said Bobby, resignedly, "if we went far enough back, +we'd find ourselves related to a lot of queer people. But we don't, +thank Heaven! have to ask them to visit us." + +"Ah, well, I see you are hopelessly opposed to my plan," said Mrs. +Bobby, changing her tactics, "and of course, dear, as I told you +before, I wouldn't think of asking any one unless you approve." + +"Oh, I don't really care," said Bobby, somewhat taken aback by this +sudden surrender. "Ask any one you please. You know I never interfere +with your plans. Only don't blame me if they turn out badly--that's +all." + +"Ah, but they never do," cried Mrs. Bobby, "at least this one won't, +I'm sure. I really have set my heart on it, Bobby," she went on, +pleadingly. "The truth is, though I don't often speak of it, going out +has been a weariness, and that big house in town seems horribly empty +since--since the baby died." Her lip trembled and she paused for a +moment, while Bobby turned and stared fixedly out of the window at the +brilliantly-tinted leaves that a chill east wind was whirling +inexorably to the ground. "I thought," she went on presently, in a +voice that was not quite steady, "that if I had some one with me to +make the house seem a little brighter--some young girl whom I could +take with me on the same old round that I'm so sick of--why, I could +look at life through her eyes, and it would seem more worth while. But +of course Bobby," she concluded, earnestly, "I wouldn't for the world +do anything to which you really object." + +"My dear Eleanor," said Bobby, turning round at this and speaking for +him quite solemnly. "You know I don't object to anything in the world +that could make you happy." + +And so Mrs. Bobby had her own way. + +It was on Saturday that this conversation took place; and on Sunday +afternoon they all walked over to the Homestead--Mrs. Bobby, her +husband and Gerard. Elizabeth had been prepared for their coming, by a +whisper from Mrs. Bobby after church; and tea was all ready for them +with Miss Joanna's cakes, and a fire that was welcome after the cold +out-doors, where the bleak east wind was still robbing the trees of +their glory and ushering in prematurely the dull grayness of November. +Mrs. Bobby was not satisfied till she could draw Elizabeth to a +distant sofa, and deliver the invitation which she felt, in her +impetuous fashion, she could not withhold for another day. + +But though the first of Elizabeth's wishes was thus fulfilled with a +promptness most unusual outside of fairy tales, she did not accept +with the enthusiasm that might have been expected. For a moment, +indeed, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks glowed with delight. And then of +a sudden the color faded, her eyes fell, she shrank back as if +frightened at the idea. + +"I--I--it's awfully sweet of you, Mrs. Van Antwerp," she said, low and +hurriedly, "but I--I can't go--I wish I could, but I can't. +Don't--don't ask me." It was almost as if she had said, "Don't tempt +me." Poor Mrs. Bobby, whose intentions were so good, was exceedingly +puzzled and not a little piqued. + +"Oh, well, if you don't care to come," she said, coldly, in the +great-lady manner which she seldom assumed, "of course I shall not +urge you. I shouldn't have mentioned the subject, if I had not thought +from what you said the other day, that you were really anxious to come +to town." + +"So I was, so I am--for some reasons; but for others--Dear Mrs. Van +Antwerp," the girl pleaded, "don't think me ungrateful. I should love +to come beyond anything, but--but I can't. It doesn't seem right," she +added, more firmly. + +"Doesn't seem right," repeated Mrs. Bobby, wondering, "You mean on +your aunts' account. You think it wouldn't be right to leave them?" + +"Yes," Elizabeth assented, as if relieved at being furnished with an +excuse of some sort, however feeble, "I don't think it would be right +to leave them." + +"But that is nonsense," cried Mrs. Bobby. "They will miss you +terribly, of course, but it will be no worse than when you were at +school, and they would be the first to wish you to go, I'm sure." + +Elizabeth was quite sure of it, too. Mrs. Bobby, reading this +conviction in her eyes, and all the more anxious for the success of +her plan, now that it met with so many unexpected obstacles, went on +to expatiate on the delights of a season in town, and all the +possibilities that life can offer, to one who has youth, talent and +beauty. Elizabeth listened eagerly with dilating eyes, which she only +once withdrew from Mrs. Bobby's face, to glance across to the other +end of the room, where Mr. Gerard was leaning forward in an attitude +of respectful interest, as he talked to Miss Cornelia. For a moment +Elizabeth's eyes rested, half absently perhaps, on the strong lines of +his face, while the irrelevant thought passed through her mind: "I +wonder what he would think." Then, quick as lightning, the answer +followed. "I don't care," she said, under her breath, and drew herself +up with a little flash of defiance. + +She turned towards Mrs. Bobby. "Do you really want me?" she asked, +caressingly. + +"Should I have asked you, if I didn't," laughed Mrs. Bobby, +triumphant, as she saw that victory was hers. + +Elizabeth told the news to her aunts as soon as the visitors had left. +Their delight was what she had expected. They were eager in approving +her decision, and in assuring her that she should have all the pretty +gowns that the occasion required, sustained by the conviction, which +occurred simultaneously to the minds of both, that their old black +silks, which they had foolishly thought of as shabby, would do +admirably another winter. It would be the height of extravagance, as +Miss Cornelia afterwards observed to replace them. + +"It's just what we have always wished for you," she cried, her little +curls all a'flutter with joyful excitement, "and so unexpected--quite +like a fairy-tale." + +"Yes," Elizabeth assented, "quite like a fairy-tale. There's only one +difference," she added to herself, as she left the room, "from every +well-regulated fairy-tale that I ever heard of. The fairy Godmother, +coach and four, are just a little--too late." + + + + +_Chapter XVI_ + + +"My dear Elizabeth," said Mrs. Bobby, "I regret to say it, but you +really are growing terribly spoiled." + +The winter was far advanced when Mrs. Bobby made this remark. With +Lent growing every day nearer, the whirl of gaiety grew ever faster +and more furious. It was not often that Mrs. Bobby and her guest had +an opportunity for private conversation. But to-night, as it happened, +they had merely been out to dinner, and having returned at an +unusually early hour, Elizabeth came into Mrs. Bobby's boudoir in her +long white dressing-gown, and sat brushing out her masses of wavy +hair, while she and her hostess discussed the evening's entertainment, +and other recent events of interest. + +Mrs. Bobby's eyes rested upon Elizabeth with all the satisfaction with +which a connoisseur regards some beautiful object of which he has been +the discoverer. Elizabeth's beauty, Elizabeth's conquests, formed to +Mrs. Bobby just then a theme of which she never tired. Nor did she +fail to make them the text for various sermons that she delivered to +Bobby about this time, on the subject of her own wisdom, and his utter +failure as a prophet. + +"Confess, Bobby, that my plans turn out well," she would say, "and +that I'm not such a fool as you thought me." + +"Why, I never," Bobby would protest, "thought you anything of the +kind." But she would go on unheeding: + +"It would have been a shame for that girl to be buried in the country, +and I do take some credit to myself for having rescued her from such a +fate. But after that, all the credit is due to Elizabeth. I did what I +could, of course, to launch her successfully, but when all is said and +done, a girl has to sink or swim on her own merits. Elizabeth takes to +society as a duck does to water; it's her natural element. And talk of +heredity! There are not many girls with the most aristocratic mothers +who can come into a room with the air that she has, as if she didn't +care two straws whether any one spoke to her or not, and then of +course every one does. Now explain to me, Bobby, if you can, where the +girl gets that air." + +"I suppose," said Bobby, "if I believed implicitly in heredity (which +I am not at all sure that I do) I'd account for it by your own remark +that she has plenty of good blood as well as bad." + +"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Bobby, incredulously, "you can always make a +theory fit in somehow." + +But though Mrs. Bobby exulted in that air of indifference with which +Elizabeth accepted, as if it were a mere matter of course, all the +devotion offered up at her feet, she was beginning to realize that the +most admirable qualities can be carried too far. And thus it was that +she upbraided her this evening with being unreasonably spoiled, and +not sufficiently appreciating the good things which had fallen to her +lot. + +"I don't know what you want me to do," Elizabeth said, quietly, when +she had listened for some moments to this rather vague accusation. +"I'm sure I go everywhere that I'm asked, and that, you must admit, is +saying a good deal; I talk to all the men who talk to me, and that +again you must admit, means a great deal of conversational effort; +and--and I make no distinctions between them whatever, and do my duty +on all occasions. I really don't know what more you can expect." + +"But that," exclaimed her hostess, "is exactly what I complain of. You +go everywhere you are asked--yes, and you never express a preference +for any particular place; you talk to the men who talk to you, and you +make no distinctions--no, for apparently it's all the same to you, +whether it's this man or the other." + +"Not quite," said Elizabeth, placidly, "for one man amuses me and +another doesn't. But beyond that, I don't--thank Heaven! I don't +care." She broke off suddenly, and she drew her comb with unwonted +vehemence through her hair. + +"I don't know why you should thank Heaven," said Mrs. Bobby, watching +her narrowly, "for a fact that is quite abnormal in a girl of your +age, who has some of the nicest men in town in love with her. There +are times when I think you are quite heartless, and yet--with that +hair, and those eyes, and the way you throw yourself into your music, +you seem to have abundance of temperament. On the whole, Elizabeth, +you are a puzzling combination. What was it Mr. D'Hauteville said of +you--that you reminded him of a lake of ice in a circle of fire?" + +"Mr. D'Hauteville," said Elizabeth, yawning, "is fond of glittering +similes. This one sounds well, but doesn't bear close consideration. +The fire, I should think, under the circumstances, would dissolve the +ice." + +"Perhaps it will," said Mrs. Bobby, "when the right time comes." + +"Which will be never," said Elizabeth, with decision. Her hostess +smiled as one who has heard such things said before. + +"After all," she resumed, after a pause, returning to the grievance +which had first started the conversation, "I could forgive you +everything else, but this indifference about your picture. One would +think that when a great artist asks as a special favor to paint your +portrait, you might at least have the decency to go to look at it, +when it is on exhibition, and all New York is talking about it." + +"That's the very reason," said Elizabeth, "why it strikes me as rather +bad taste for me to stand in rapt contemplation before it, while a lot +of people are jostling me, and making remarks about my eyes, and hair, +and mouth, as if it were I on exhibition, and not Mr. ----'s picture." + +"Well, it _is_ you whom they want to see," said Mrs. Bobby. "The New +York public doesn't care much for art, but it does take an interest +in the people whom it reads about in the papers--a weakness that we +needn't quarrel with, since it has made the Portrait Show a success, +and given us so many thousands for our hospital." + +"Well, at least," said Elizabeth, "I have done my duty in contributing +my portrait to the good cause; so don't ask me to be present in actual +flesh and blood, and above all not to face such a crowd as there was +the other day, when we tried to look at it and my gown was nearly torn +off my back in the process." + +"You could go early," suggested Mrs. Bobby, "as I did the other day. +You have no idea how much better it looks in that light than it did at +the studio." + +"I am very tired of it, in any light," said Elizabeth. "People have +talked to me so much about it. But, if you insist upon it I will go--I +will go early. There are some of the other portraits too that I should +like to look at, if I can do so in peace." And with this concession, +the conversation was allowed to drop for a moment. + +It was Elizabeth who resumed it, speaking slowly and tentatively, with +many lapses, and eyes carefully turned away from her friend. "You +talk," she said, "a great deal of my successes, and I suppose, in a +way, I ought to be--satisfied. And of course I am," she added, +hastily. "People have been very nice to me. I--I couldn't ask for +anything more. And yet--there is one person--I don't know if you have +noticed it--one person with whom I am a distinct failure, who I think +almost dislikes me, and that is--your friend Mr. Gerard." + +"What, Julian," said Mrs. Bobby, in a tone that was absolutely devoid +of expression. "You think he--doesn't like you?" + +"I am quite sure of it," said Elizabeth. + +"But why," questioned Mrs. Bobby, in apparent bewilderment. "What +reason have you for thinking so?" + +"A great many, but any one of them would be enough. To begin with, he +never speaks to me if he can possibly help himself. His avoidance of +me is quite pointed--you surely must have noticed it?" She fixed her +eyes anxiously upon Mrs. Bobby. + +"I"--Mrs. Bobby checked the impulsive words that rose to her lips. +"Julian is--is very peculiar," she said in a non-committal tone. "I +don't think he cares for women." + +"Perhaps not; but still I have seen him talk to them--in a bored sort +of way, it is true. But to me he never talks, in any way whatsoever." + +"He never has a chance. You are always surrounded." + +"He would have the same chance as the others. No, it isn't that. He +disapproves of me; I can feel it, as he looks at me through those +dark, half-shut eyes of his, and it gives me an uncomfortable sense of +wickedness. He thinks me flippant, and vain, and frivolous, and I am +when he is there, or I seem so. When he is listening, I say all the +horrid, cynical, heartless things I can think of. I have to say them, +somehow. It is fate. It began the first night that I met him--it was +in the country, do you remember?" She paused and again looked +questioningly at Mrs. Bobby. + +"Yes," the latter answered softly, "I remember." + +"I was rather excited that night--it was the first time I had ever +been out to dinner. I talked in a flippant sort of way about hating +the country, and longing to go out, and wanting to be always amused. +It was very _young_, I suppose." Elizabeth spoke with all the +superiority of a girl half-way through her first season towards her +more unsophisticated self of a few months before. "He didn't like it. +The sort of woman whom he admires knows her catechism, and is +satisfied with that situation in life where it has pleased Providence +to place her. I shocked him; he has never got over it. He showed me, +that very evening, how he disliked me--it was so pointed that it was +almost rude. You asked me--do you remember? to play." She stopped. + +"I remember," said Mrs. Bobby again softly. "I never heard you play so +well." + +"I never have--since. I seemed to have, just for the moment, some +strange power over the keys--such feelings come to one, you know, +sometimes. And then, when I stopped--he had asked me for the +Fire-music--I felt, somehow, that he was fond of music--he _is_ fond +of it, passionately fond--but when I stopped, he looked at me blankly +for a moment, till he suddenly remembered what was expected of him, +and thanked me in a cold sort of way and walked off. And--I shouldn't +think so much of that; but since then he has never--never once asked +me to play, though he has often heard other people ask me." + +"I have noticed," said Mrs. Bobby, quietly, "that you will never play +when he is in the room." + +"I couldn't," said Elizabeth, "it would have such a dampening effect +to feel that there was one person in the room who disliked it, who, no +matter how well I played, would always preserve his critical attitude. + +"You see that I am reduced to the unflattering alternative that it is +myself that he objects to or my playing. But it is the same with +everything. There is my picture, for instance. He is the only person I +know who has said nothing to me about it, has probably not even seen +it." + +"That must be rather a relief," said Mrs. Bobby, placidly, "since you +are so tired of the subject." + +"If I am," said Elizabeth, "that is no reason why he shouldn't go +through the conventional formula of telling me that he has seen the +picture, and adding something civil about it, as the most ordinary +acquaintances never fail to do." + +"No, of course," Mrs. Bobby agreed softly, "the most ordinary +acquaintances never would. But perhaps he doesn't consider himself +exactly that." + +"Whatever he considers himself," said Elizabeth, with some heat, "he +is not exempt from the common rules of civility. But I suppose he +doesn't really admire the picture, and is too painfully truthful to +pretend to the contrary." And then she stopped and laughed a little +at her own vehemence, but without much spirit. "It really is very +illogical," she admitted, "I don't care for Mr. Gerard's admiration, +it would probably bore me extremely to have it; and yet--it's not +pleasant to be so absolutely--ignored." + +Mrs. Bobby was watching her with an odd little gleam in the dark eyes +that were almost hidden by her long, curling lashes. "I will tell +you," she said, "what it is that he doesn't like. It isn't you, or +your playing, or your conversation; it's your hair." + +"My hair!" Elizabeth took up mechanically one of her long shining +locks and passed it through her fingers. "I may have been inordinately +vain," she remarked after a pause, "but I never supposed before that +there was much the matter with my hair." + +"Nor would most people, I imagine. But he has some odd ideas, and +among them, it seems, is a prejudice--a superstition, as he calls +it--against red hair." + +"But mine isn't red," said Elizabeth, quickly. + +"Of course not," said Mrs. Bobby. "He is color blind, as I told him. +But there's no use in arguing the point with him. He insists that your +hair is red enough to--to be dangerous--those are his words, and he +avoids you in consequence. He has had some unfortunate experience in +the past, I should imagine, which has given him this prejudice. There, +my dear, I shouldn't have told you," Mrs. Bobby went on, leaning back +in her chair, and still watching Elizabeth narrowly through +half-closed lids, "if I didn't know, of course, that it can make no +real difference to you what Julian thinks." + +"Of course not," Elizabeth made answer mechanically with dry lips, as +she still drew her comb absently through the offending hair. + +"You have so many admirers," Mrs. Bobby continued serenely, "it can't +matter very much that one person should hold aloof. And then I +shouldn't care about Julian's opinion, for he never admires any woman. +Ever since that unfortunate experience, which happened, I think, when +he was very young, he has been a confirmed cynic, avoiding all young +girls, and horribly afraid of being married for his money. I really +despair now of his ever falling in love; I have talked up almost every +girl in town to him, and all in vain. No, even you, Elizabeth, spoiled +as you are, couldn't expect to make a conquest of Julian." + +"I don't know what I should expect," said Elizabeth, rather coldly, +"but I certainly don't wish to. It would hardly be worth while." She +rose, with one long look in the glass, and moved wearily towards the +door. "I am so very tired, dear," she said. "I think I will say +good-night." + +"Good-night," said Mrs. Bobby, cheerfully. "Sleep well--you need +to--and don't waste another thought on that tiresome creature, +Julian." + +"Oh, I'm not likely to," Elizabeth responded, with rather a pale +smile. "I'm much too tired." + +And yet she did think of him more than once, as she stood before her +mirror, arranging her hair into two heavy braids, which reached below +her waist, and repeating to herself that, as Mrs. Bobby had said, it +could matter little about the one dissenting voice in the general +chorus of admiration which had attended her triumphant career. In +spite of which assurance, her last thoughts as she fell asleep might +have been somewhat surprising to those who, having watched that career +entirely from the outside, regarded her as the most fortunate being in +the world. + +Elizabeth's aunts were on the whole, more to be envied than the girl +herself that winter. There was no alloy in their happiness, no +under-current of dissatisfaction, even though they wore their old +black silks, and Miss Joanna's friend, the butcher, was heard to +complain somewhat bitterly of her sudden parsimony in regard to joints +of meat. What did it matter? They would have dressed cheerfully in +sackcloth and lived on bread and water, for the sake of such glowing +accounts of Elizabeth's triumphs as Mrs. Bobby constantly transmitted, +or of the girl's own brilliant letters which seemed to breathe the +radiant satisfaction of a mind without a care. + +Elizabeth's aunt at Bassett Mills also watched her career, which was +chronicled at that time in the papers. Poor Aunt Rebecca, after a hard +day's work, reading her niece's name, and possibly a description of +her costume in the list of guests at some smart festivity, would look +up, awe-struck, at Amanda. "Only to think," she would say, with the +old contradictory note, half pride, half jealousy "to think that it +should be Malvina's girl!" + +But Amanda, still pale and wasted from the fever with her hair quite +long and very soft and wavy, would give an odd, furtive look from her +light eyes and say nothing. + + + + +_Chapter XVII_ + + +It was early at the Portrait Show. It was so early that what few +people were already there had the place practically to themselves. +There were only three or four in the large room at the head of the +stairs, which at a later hour of the afternoon was invariably crowded, +and where was hung that picture which had attracted so much attention, +partly from the great fame of the artist, still more, perhaps, from +the beauty of the subject. + +A young girl in a long, white gown of some soft, clinging stuff, stood +against the background of a dark green velvet curtain. There was no +relief to the dead whiteness of the gown, and the roses that she held +were white; all that brilliancy of color, for which this great artist +is famous, he had expended upon the deep red-gold tints of the hair, +the vivid scarlet of the lips, the warm creamy tones of the skin, as +they were thrown into full relief by the dark background. The painter +had lingered, with all the skill at his command, on the rounded, +dimpled curves of the neck and arms, nor had he forgotten the haughty +little turn of the head, which gave a characteristic touch to the +picture. Seen at a glance, it was aglow with life and color, very +human, very mundane, the embodiment of health and bloom. A study in +flesh-tints, one critic had carelessly pronounced it, and nothing +more. It was only when you looked at the eyes that you caught a +discordant note, which, if you dwelt upon it, contradicted the joyous +effect of the rest; a look, a latent shadow which the great artist had +either surprised or imagined, and transferred perhaps unconsciously to +his canvas, where, if you saw it at all, it held you with a haunting +sense of mystery, the fascination of an unsolved problem. "What does +it mean," a man said to himself that afternoon, "and did ---- really +put it in, or do I, with my usual superstition, imagine it? Am I the +only person who sees it, or do others?" + +Two young girls, who jostled up against him just then evidently did +not. + +"Portrait of Miss Van Vorst," said one, reading from her catalogue, +"by ----." She passed the artist's name without recognition, as she +delightedly pressed her companion's arm. "Say, Mamie, that's Elizabeth +Van Vorst, you know, the beauty. I've seen lots about her in the +papers." + +"You don't say so?" returned the other, who was apparently less +up-to-date. "I thought she must be one of the swells, but I didn't +know the name. She's pretty isn't she?--but doesn't her nose turn up +too much?--and I don't think much of her dress, it's so kind of +simple." + +The man who had been standing when they came up in front of the +picture, turned frowning aside, and found himself face to face with +the original. For an instant each stared at the other in silence, and +it might have been noticed by a careful observer that the man was at +once the more disconcerted and the less surprised of the two. + +"So I see you have achieved fame," he said, recovering himself almost +immediately and smiling, as he glanced at the two girls who were still +criticizing Elizabeth's features, all unconscious that the subject of +their remarks was within hearing. + +"Yes, fame," she returned, lightly "of a kind that you despise." She, +too, was quite herself again--that flippant, frivolous self, at least, +which he had always the power to awaken. + +"I suppose I'm a crank," he admitted. "I really don't like to hear my +friends talked about, by their first name by people who have read +about them in the papers." + +"Oh, that," she said, carelessly "is a necessary penalty of fame." + +"Which you share with a variety actress," he returned. "I realize more +and more that I'm hopelessly behind the age. Look at those two girls," +he went on, glancing at them with some animosity. + +"They have spent, I should imagine, their little all on the admission +fee and the catalogue; they don't care two straws for the portraits as +portraits, and they have never spoken to the originals, but they are +wildly interested in them because they represent to them the magic +word 'society,' and they will go away and talk about them as if they +knew them intimately." + +Elizabeth laughed softly. "Ah," she said "let them be. They're getting +their money's worth; don't grudge it to them. So far as I'm +concerned, they may pull my face to pieces as much as they please. I +know how it is--I've stood on the outside, too, of a thing, and tried +to imagine that I was in it." + +"Do you think they'd be happier," asked Gerard, "if they were?" + +"Ah, that depends," she returned, oracularly, stroking down the long +fur of her muff. + +"Tell me how you find it yourself," said Gerard. He looked about the +room. "The place is comfortably empty," he said. "Have you been around +yet, or would you--a--like to sit down awhile?" + +She hesitated. "I have been in several of the rooms," she said. "I +came early on purpose. Eleanor is lunching somewhere, but she is to +meet me here at three." + +"Then suppose you--a--rest till she comes?" he suggested, as he led +the way to a sofa which had been placed for the accommodation of weary +sight-seers in the centre of the room. "It's a long while since I've +had a talk with you. ('And whose fault is that,' thought Elizabeth.) +This isn't a bad place to talk in, and if you've been around once, +you've had enough of it for the time being." + +"I am glad to rest for a few minutes," Elizabeth admitted. + +She threw open the revers of her coat, and sank back in her seat as if +physically tired. Gerard looked at her. She was exquisitely dressed. +Her dark green velvet and furs set off the fairness of her skin, her +large feathered hat suited her picturesque style. The subtle +atmosphere of fashion, of distinction, lurked in every fold of her +gown, in every movement and gesture. Three months had sufficed to +endow her with it. They had also sufficed--or was this again the +result of his imagination?--to take away the first freshness of her +beauty. She looked brilliant, but a trifle worn; her color had faded, +there were lines of weariness about the mouth, and deep black rings +under the eyes. + +"You don't look well," he said, abruptly. She smiled. ("I might have +known that he would say that," she said to herself.) + +"I know it," she returned, quietly. "The maid woke me up, as she +generally does, with strong coffee. I refused at first to be waked. I +haven't been to bed at a reasonable hour for weeks, and I'm so +countrified that I show the ill effects of it." + +"You shouldn't go out so much," said Gerard. "What is Eleanor thinking +of that she allows it? You--you will be ill if this keeps up." He +spoke almost angrily. + +"Yet what difference would it make to him?" thought Elizabeth. "He is +very unaccountable. Why should he look at my picture, thinking no +doubt all the time how ugly my hair is? I don't want his advice--I +won't have it. Oh, it's all in a good cause," she said lightly, aloud. +"I complain sometimes, but I wouldn't stay at home, really, for the +world. It's all too delightful. I may be tired, but at least I'm not +bored." + +"It has all come up to your expectations, then?" said Gerard. "You +like it better than--a--the river view?" + +"Ah, if you had looked at that view as many years as I have, you +wouldn't need to ask the question." + +"And you are always amused?" he went on. "That was the next wish, +wasn't it? You see I'm putting you through the category, as I +threatened to do once, and I expect only the truth for an answer. Are +you always, every day and all day long, thoroughly amused?" + +She met his gaze unflinchingly. "Don't I--seem to be?" she asked. + +"I don't know," he said. "I've wondered--sometimes. You certainly +ought to be," he declared. + +"Then," she said "you may take it for granted that I am." + +"And the third wish," he said, musingly, "follows naturally on the +other. You never, in this whirl of gaiety--never, I suppose, get a +chance to think?" + +"Not a moment," she returned, triumphantly. "All my time is occupied, +I'm glad to say, in being amused. That's hard work, too, sometimes, +but then--the game is worth the candle." + +"Well," he said "you are, I admit, a very fortunate young woman, and +you have my congratulations. There are not many people whose wishes +are fulfilled, as quickly and absolutely as yours have been." + +"No," she said, with sudden thoughtfulness "that is very true." She +sat for a moment staring straight before her, with the look in her +eyes which had puzzled and haunted him in the pictured eyes at which +he had looked awhile before. "Do you know," she said at last, speaking +very low and hesitatingly, "it's very absurd, but it--sometimes it +frightens me a little. Do you remember in Greek history--or was it +mythology?--there was a king who had every wish fulfilled, till he +grew at last to feel that it--was dangerous; he offered up sacrifices +to the gods, he tried to escape but it was all of no use. Everything +went well with him, till at last--his fate overtook him. And so I +think, sometimes--mine will." + +"Your fate?" Gerard repeated, utterly taken aback and puzzled. + +"Yes, the penalty," she said, quickly "of having too much. I have an +odd idea sometimes that there is--there must be some misfortune in +store for me; that I shall pay for all this yet in some terrible way +which no one expects. Oh, it's perfectly absurd, I know, but still +I--I can't help it." She had turned of a sudden very white, and she +stared up at Gerard with a frightened, mute appeal in her eyes, like +that of some dumb animal or a child. + +To him she seemed all at once very young and helpless, a being to be +soothed and protected; very different from the gay, self-possessed +young woman of a few minutes before. "My dear child," he said, very +gently, yet with a note of authority, and laying his hand ever so +lightly on the delicately gloved hand that rested on her muff "you're +nervous and over-wrought. You couldn't otherwise have such a morbid +idea. This eternal going-out has got on your nerves. I wish you would +promise me to stay at home for a day or two. You will, won't you?" he +asked, persuasively. + +"Yes, I--I will," she said, mechanically, and still looking very +white. "I'm over-tired, as you say." + +"And now don't talk," he went on, peremptorily. "I'll get you a glass +of water, and then I want you to sit quietly here, and not say a word, +till you are better." + +She shook her head. "I'm quite well, and I don't want anything," she +protested, but he brought the glass of water and made her drink it, +and then watched her anxiously, while the color slowly came back to +her face, and her eyes lost their strained, appealing look. They sat +in silence; he would not let her speak, and as time passed, a great +calm insensibly stole over her, a feeling of peace, of security, such +as she had not known in all those weeks of fevered gaiety. She was +conscious vaguely of a wish that she might sit thus always, saying +nothing, alone with him--all the more alone as it seemed for the crowd +that was beginning to surge into the room, with a murmur that broke +faintly upon her ear, like the sound of the sea a long way off. + +The wish was, perhaps, the result of fatigue. She was no sooner fully +conscious of it than she rose to her feet. + +"Shall we walk through the rooms now?" she said. "It's more than time +for Eleanor to be here. Oh, I'm all right now, thank you"--she met +his question smilingly. "I don't know what was the matter--it was +very silly. You see I boasted unwisely about never thinking, since I +have such foolish thoughts; but I won't again. Look, there is a +picture of Gertrude Trevor. A good likeness, isn't it? But you've seen +it before, perhaps?" + +"No," said Gerard, absently. "I haven't seen any of them before." They +walked on slowly through the rooms, and she did the honors, pointing +out the pictures, as it was apparently his first visit. They did not +seem to interest him greatly. + +"Have you really never been here before?" she asked at length. She +could not have explained what induced her to put the question. + +He answered it absently. "Why, yes, every day"--and then suddenly +stopped and turned his eyes full upon her, while that strange light +gleamed in their sombre depths which she had surprised once or twice +before and had interpreted many different ways, which now set her +heart beating wildly, and made her wish her question unspoken. "Every +day," he repeated, quietly, "about this time, or earlier, since--since +the thing began." + +"Then why--why"--The words died away on her lips. They had reached the +head of the great staircase, and the crowd came streaming up, a +confused mass, to which she paid no heed. She had again the feeling of +being alone, quite alone, in the midst of it all, while involuntarily +their eyes met, and his were all aglow with a fire which she had never +before seen in them, or imagined; a fire that dazzled and bewildered, +and filled her with a strange, unreasoning joy, as it burned away the +barriers of doubt and indifference, till for one short, breathless +moment, which she could have counted with her heart-beats she read his +inmost soul. + +"I only looked at one picture," he said. + +And then with the words the spell which held her seemed broken, and +the crowd closed in about her, with a sound like the roar of the sea +very near at hand, and she looked down the great staircase, and saw +Mrs. Bobby coming towards them. + + + + +_Chapter XVIII_ + + +"My dear," said Mrs. Bobby, "I'm so sorry to be late. Luncheon was +interminable. Why, Julian, who would have expected to see you here?" +She gave him her hand demurely, with softly shining eyes. Neither her +surprise nor her contrition seemed to ring quite true. + +Gerard's dark eyes were again half closed beneath their heavy lids. He +looked, if a trifle pale, more impassive than usual. + +"I don't know why my presence here should cause so much surprise," he +said. "Most people come here, don't they, some time or another. It's +a--a meeting-place, isn't it?" + +"It seems to have been on this occasion," Mrs. Bobby murmured under +her breath. A young man had just stopped and spoken to Elizabeth, and +the words might have referred to him. Gerard smiled. + +"Won't you come and look at some of these pictures?" he asked. "I want +to talk to you." + +"You awaken my curiosity." + +They walked slowly along the gallery which skirted the hall, too deep +in conversation to pay much heed to the pictures which hung along +their way. Elizabeth's eyes followed them, the while she was +repeating mechanically "Yes, the portraits are extremely fine." + +"But not one," the young man declared, with blunt gallantry "to +compare with yours. It's by all odds the most beautiful picture here." + +"Do you really think so?" said Elizabeth, gently. "I'm very glad." She +had heard the sentiment, rather differently put, perhaps a hundred +times. Yet it seemed now to have all the charm of novelty. + +The young man, a very slight acquaintance, charmed to have called up +that glow of pleasure to her face, redoubled his efforts to entertain +her. He was sorry when Mrs. Bobby returned with Gerard, and bore her +off. "She was delighted when I said that about her picture," he +thought, "there's nothing like flattering a girl, if you know how to +do it delicately." + +"We really must be going, Elizabeth," said Mrs. Bobby, consulting her +engagement-book. "We have at least a dozen visits, and we promised, +you know, to go to Mr. D'Hauteville's musicale." + +"That reminds me that I did too," said Gerard. "I'm glad you spoke of +it." + +"We shall see you there, then," said Mrs. Bobby, as he placed them in +the carriage, and they drove off. "I am feeling utterly crushed," she +continued, turning to Elizabeth, and looking under the circumstances, +very cheerful. "Julian has been giving me a terrible lecture. He +thinks me, I see very clearly, quite unfit to have the care of you. He +says that you are not as strong as you seem, that I have been dragging +you around--entirely for my own pleasure, apparently--from one thing +to another till you are quite worn out, and that you will be ill if I +don't take care. He has quite frightened me. But there, Elizabeth, you +don't look so very tired, after all." + +She certainly did not. There was color in her cheeks, a light in her +eyes that was at once brilliant and soft. All the lines drawn by +sleepless nights had, for the moment at least, disappeared. + +"You don't look badly," Mrs. Bobby repeated. "You look, in fact, +infinitely better than when I saw you this morning." + +"I feel better," Elizabeth admitted. "Just for a moment, at the +Portrait Show, I did feel tired and depressed, and he--Mr. Gerard got +alarmed about me, but it was nothing. I am quite well now. And the +portraits are really very interesting. I am glad you persuaded me to +look at them again, Eleanor." + +"I thought you might be repaid," said Mrs. Bobby, serenely. "What did +you think of your own picture? Doesn't it look better in that light?" + +Elizabeth's face was turned away, so that Mrs. Bobby could only see +the rounded outline of her cheek and one small, shell-like ear. "Yes, +I--I thought it looked better," she said, in a low voice. "Perhaps you +were right. It must have been the--the light of the studio that made +me feel--disappointed in it, somehow." + +"Oh, there is everything in the light in which you look at things," +assented Mrs. Bobby, cheerfully. And with this profound remark, the +two women sank into silence, while the carriage rolled swiftly up the +Avenue, stopping occasionally, as the footman left cards. To +Elizabeth, as she sat gazing out of the window, the prosaic brown +stone houses, and the more pretentious ones of marble which broke the +monotony here and there, and the brilliant shops, which had intruded +themselves like parvenus among their quieter and more aristocratic +neighbors--all these familiar objects stood out in a softened +perspective, which endowed them with lines almost of romance. The +wide, commonplace streets had an unwonted charm, the people who walked +on them wore an air of curious happiness, merely, no doubt, at finding +themselves alive in this beautiful world. Yes, as Mrs. Bobby had so +wisely observed, "there is everything in the light in which you look +at things." + +"I wonder if Mr. D'Hauteville's musicale will be pleasant," Elizabeth +observed dreamily, as they neared Carnegie Hall. The remark was purely +perfunctory. Pleasant? Of course it would be pleasant--she hadn't a +doubt of it. + +"There will be a lot of queer people there--musical, literary, and +that sort of thing," said Mrs. Bobby, vaguely. "Some men with long +hair will play, and the women, no doubt, will wear wonderful æsthetic +gowns. If Julian were not to be there, I should not dream of going. My +prophetic instinct tells me that we shall not know a soul." + +"But won't that be rather amusing," suggested Elizabeth. + +"Well, theoretically, yes," said Mrs. Bobby, in rather a doubtful +tone, "but, practically, I'm afraid I prefer people whom I know, and +who have the conventional amount of hair and lack of brains. Let me +confess the truth to you, Elizabeth. I'm not really Bohemian--I only +pretend to be so at odd moments, when I want to tease Bobby, or shock +the Neighborhood. There isn't at heart, I believe, a more conventional +little society wretch than I. However, as you say, that sort of thing +is amusing--for one afternoon; and Julian will be there, and protect +us from the celebrities and tell us who they all are." + +Julian was fortunately on hand when they arrived, but the room was +filled for the most part with people who looked very much like any one +else, and only a few were sufficiently long-haired and eccentric to +justify Mrs. Bobby's prediction of their being celebrities of some +sort. The host, who came forward to meet them, was a well-known +musician, a man with an intellectual face and dreamy eyes, which +lighted up as he welcomed them with eager cordiality; but he could do +no more for the present than seat them and give them programmes, for +the music was about to begin. + +It was a charming studio, well up near the top of Carnegie Hall, and +like most studios, it was artistically furnished. The polished floor +was strewn with rich rugs, the walls were covered in every nook and +cranny, with plaques, and pictures, and rare tapestries, and strange +Eastern weapons. A grand piano took up the whole of one corner, and in +another a toy staircase seemed to have been placed entirely for +ornament, till it was utilized as a seat by some picturesque-looking +girls in large hats. From the broad casemented window near which +Elizabeth sat, she could see an expanse of roofs and chimneys, far +down from the dizzy height, and beyond them the river, and further +still the winter sunset, fading in cold blues and greens and violets, +on a still colder sky. Her eyes rested there with dreamy satisfaction. +She had no wish to look back into the room, to where Gerard was +standing close to them, on the other side of Mrs. Bobby. She was still +living on the memory of that moment--was it an hour or was it years +ago?--that long look of which the reflected light was still glowing on +her face, and in her dreamy eyes. She had no wish to renew it; the +recollection was sufficient, for awhile at least. Yet she was glad to +know that he was there. + +Mrs. Bobby meanwhile, having embarked on her trip to Bohemia, was +disappointed to find it comparatively tame. + +"I don't see any one I know," she said to Gerard, as the piano solo +came to an end. "They look, most of them, depressingly commonplace. +But they must be extraordinary in some way, or they wouldn't be here. +Tell us who they are, Julian, and introduce them to us if you think we +would like them." + +"Why, there are some musical lights," he answered, rather absently +"who, I hope, are going to perform for our benefit, and there are a +few ordinary music-lovers like myself, and some literary people--whom +I don't know that you would care about." + +"You think us too frivolous, I see," said Mrs. Bobby. "But you don't +realize how clever I can be if I try, and as for Elizabeth, she knows +a lot more than she seems to know." + +"Does she?" asked Gerard with a smile, and he glanced across at +Elizabeth, who still would not meet his eyes. "She looks very +innocent," he said, musingly, after a pause. "I should be sorry to +think of her as--concealing anything." + +A little pang, a thought sharp like a stone, struck Elizabeth for an +instant. It was the first rift in the lute. She put it resolutely away +from her. + +"You think me too stupid, I see," she said "to have any knowledge to +conceal." + +He had no time to answer before some woman began to sing. She had a +beautiful voice, and Elizabeth listened, yet chiefly conscious, all +the while, of the fact that Gerard had managed to shift his position, +and was standing directly behind her. + +"I never thought you stupid," he said, under cover of the applause, in +a low voice that no one but she could hear, "no, nor ignorant; but I +have sometimes thought you frivolous, and flippant, and--and a little +hard. You seem, I sometimes think, to take pleasure in showing these +qualities to me. Why is it, I wonder?" + +"I--I don't know," she murmured, in the same low voice, and gazing +straight before her. "You--somehow you seem to compel it. You ought to +be grateful, I think. At least you know the worst of me." + +She spoke these words with an absolute unconsciousness of their +falseness; and even as they died away on her lips, she glanced across +the room and saw Paul Halleck standing in the door-way. + +That old mythological king whom some vague reminiscence of her +school-days had conjured up in Elizabeth's mind, he who had every wish +fulfilled, till he grew at last to dread his own prosperity--was it, I +wonder, in some such moment of foreboding that the final crash came, +or was it when his fears were lulled and his senses stilled, by some +delicious, over-powering sense of happiness that shut out for the +moment all unpleasant thoughts? This, at all events, was the way in +which fate overtook Elizabeth. + +Paul Halleck stood in the door-way, having apparently just arrived. +His blue eyes were wandering about the room. They did not fall, as +yet, upon Elizabeth. + +She did not faint, or cry out, or make herself in any way conspicuous. +She turned deathly white, and her heart, which had been beating faster +for Gerard's presence, seemed suddenly to stop entirely, as though a +piece of ice had been laid on it. And then, in a moment, her heart +began to beat again, though faintly. She drew a long breath. Gerard, +who was standing directly behind her, could not see her face beneath +the shadow of her large hat, yet he felt instinctively that something +was wrong. + +"Do you feel faint again?" he asked, anxiously, thinking to himself +that she was really far from well. "Can I get you anything?" + +"No, thank you," said Elizabeth. "I felt faint for a moment, but it +is over." It took all the strength that she possessed to speak these +words so clearly and distinctly. In making the effort she was not +conscious of any plan of deception. She was merely bearing up, +instinctively, to the end. + +She never doubted that it _was_ the end. It had fallen at last--that +sword of Damocles, which she had learned to dread as the winter wore +on, of which she had always been vaguely conscious even in her gayest +moments, and had only forgotten, quite forgotten, in that short, +delicious hour when she had allowed herself to float off in a dream of +happiness never to be realized, from which she was awakened so soon +and so rudely. And yet, though it was over, she was not sorry that she +had dreamed it. It had been very sweet, worth even, she thought, the +bitterness of the awakening. + +Meanwhile the musicale progressed. A man with long, floating hair and +fingers of steel thundered out a piano solo. Elizabeth shut her eyes +and leaned back in her chair. How fortunate that there was so much +music to prevent conversation! But at the first pause she opened her +eyes and looked up at Gerard. + +"I was wrong when I told you that you know the worst of me," she said, +faintly. "You'll know it, soon." + +"What a terrible prospect!" said Gerard, bending over her and the +jesting words had a soft intonation, which thrilled her like a caress. +"I really don't think I can stand it--quite." + +Had she intended to tell him the truth? The moment was not +propitious. The music had stopped, and there was a murmur of +conversation all over the room. People began to move about, and in the +general shifting of position, Paul Halleck, for the first time, caught +sight of Elizabeth. + +She had had some vague, childish idea of what would happen when he saw +her. She had pictured him in her unreasoning terror, as stepping +forward before them all and claiming her as his wife, like a scene in +a play. Nothing of the kind took place. She saw at once how absurd her +expectations had been. Paul merely started and looked at her, +recognition and it seemed, pleasure sparkling in his eyes; but with a +sudden, uncontrollable impulse, she turned her own eyes away, as if +she did not know him. + +"Do you see that man in the door-way?" said Gerard, who, standing as +he was behind her could not note the changes in her face,--"that +handsome fellow with the light curls? He has a very fine voice, and +has just been engaged as soloist at St. Chrysostom's." + +"Indeed. Is he to sing this afternoon?" She brought out the question +with difficulty. + +"I hope so," said Gerard. "I'd like you to hear him. But perhaps you +know him," he went on. "He is looking at you as if he expected you to +bow." + +"No," said Elizabeth. "I don't know him." She told him this, her +second lie that afternoon, without deliberate intention, in sheer lack +of presence of mind. It was a piteous, involuntary staving-off of the +inevitable. The next moment that fascination which leads us to our own +undoing made her look in Paul's direction, and this time she could not +avoid his eager gaze and bent her head mechanically. + +"After all, I believe I must have met him somewhere," she said +hastily. Mrs. Bobby, who for the last quarter of an hour, had been +determinedly ignoring them both, apparently giving her whole attention +to the music and the people, now turned towards them. + +"Who is that handsome man who bowed to you, Elizabeth?" she asked. "I +never saw him before." + +"His name is Halleck. I--I knew him in the country," said Elizabeth, +who had no natural talent for deception and entangled herself at once +in contradictory statements. Gerard's face darkened, and he glanced +across at Halleck, whose eyes were fixed on Elizabeth with a look that +seemed, to the jealous, fastidious man by her side, an intolerable +presumption; a look that was not only one of admiration, but, or +Gerard imagined so, held in it a curious touch of proprietorship. +"Confound the fellow," chafed Gerard--he who would fain have kept the +woman he loved, as he certainly would have kept her picture, shut out +from all profane eyes, even admiring ones. "He looks at her as if he +had discovered her and she belonged to him. Where can she have met +him, and why did she say she hadn't." + +Mrs. Bobby, too, looked across at Paul. + +"He is certainly very good-looking," she said. "And do you mean to +tell me, my dear, that such an Adonis flourished in our Neighborhood, +and I never saw him. Pray, where did you keep him hidden?" + +Before Elizabeth could reply, and to her great relief, D'Hauteville +came up with the long-haired musician, whom he introduced to them, and +who proved to be, at last, one of the celebrities upon whom Mrs. Bobby +had counted. In the diversion that ensued Halleck seemed forgotten. +But a few minutes later, he sat at the piano and sang songs by +Schubert and Franz, which she had heard him sing before, at the time +when she had thought his voice the most beautiful voice in the world. +Now, as she listened it left her cold. She had changed so much, and +he--no, he had not changed. His voice was not so wonderful as she had +thought it, but still it was a fine barytone voice. His art no longer +seemed to her remarkable, but it had, if anything, improved, and he +was as handsome as ever, in his fair, effeminate style. It was not the +voice nor the art that was lacking. It was the answering thrill in +herself. It was not his beauty which had failed him, it was she who no +longer cared for it. + +His success with the audience was instantaneous. Even Mrs. Bobby was +impressed. "Your friend sings well," she whispered to Elizabeth, "and +yet his hair is short. You may introduce him to me if you get a +chance." + +And this chance immediately presented itself, as Paul, amid the +applause that followed his song, walked over to Elizabeth and quietly +shook hands with her. It was the moment that she had dreaded all the +time that he was singing, yet now that it had come, she met it in +apparent unconcern, and smiling, though with white lips. + +"I thought at first," Paul said, "that you had quite forgotten me." + +"Oh, no," she said, "my memory is not so short." Then she turned and +introduced him to Mrs. Bobby, and went on herself quietly talking to +Mr. D'Hauteville. Nothing could have been more simple. Not even Julian +Gerard, who from a distance watched their meeting, could have imagined +any secret understanding between them. + +The handsome young singer made a very favorable impression upon Mrs. +Bobby, who went so far as to ask him to call, in that impulsive way of +hers, which sometimes led to consequences that she regretted. In this +case she realized, almost as soon as the words had left her lips, that +she had done a rash thing, or what Bobby would consider rash. Still, +the invitation was given and eagerly accepted, even though Elizabeth, +standing cold and indifferent, said not a word to second it. By this +time the music was over. They were about to leave, when some one +claimed Mrs. Bobby's attention, and she turned aside for a moment. +Paul seized the opportunity, for which he had been anxiously waiting, +to whisper in Elizabeth's ear. + +"Darling, don't go. I must see you for a moment." + +"You can't speak to me here," she said, impatiently, trying to escape +from him. + +"But I must see you. Can't you see that I must?" + +"You have done without it," said Elizabeth, without turning her head, +"some time." + +"Because I couldn't help myself." + +"There is such a thing as writing," she said, in the same low, bitter +tone. Yet even as she spoke her conscience misgave her. It was not his +neglect that she resented so bitterly, it was his return. But Paul, +not understanding this was rather flattered than otherwise by the +reproach. + +"Darling, I will explain when I see you," he said, hurriedly. "There's +no time now. Meet me to-morrow morning--at the Fifty-ninth street +entrance to the Park, at eleven o'clock." + +"To-morrow! Impossible! I have a hundred things to do." + +"Ah, but you must," he pleaded. "I must see you. Darling you look so +beautiful--fifty times more beautiful than before." + +"Hush," said Elizabeth. "How dare you? Some one will hear you." + +"Give me a chance of seeing you, then," he said. "It is necessary. You +will meet me--will you not?--to-morrow morning?" + +"If you insist upon it--yes." + +"At the west entrance of the Park--you understand?" + +"Oh, yes," said Elizabeth impatiently, and hastened to rejoin Mrs. +Bobby, who was waiting at the door. + +Julian Gerard came up gloomily. The whispered conference had not +escaped his notice. + +"We shall see you to-night at the Lansdownes' ball," said Mrs. Bobby. +"It is the night for it, isn't it, Elizabeth? I never can keep track +of these things." + +Gerard looked reproachfully at Elizabeth. "You promised me," he said, +"that you would stay at home for a night or two." + +She smiled back at him with the old touch of wilfulness. "Did I really +make such a rash promise," she said, lightly. "Ah, I'm afraid I can't +keep it--not to-night. I must be amused. A quiet evening would be +unendurable." Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes glittered with +feverish gaiety, there was an odd, strained note in her voice. Mrs. +Bobby looked at her in some perplexity, then she glanced up +deprecatingly at Gerard. + +"It is her first season, you see Julian," she said, as if in apology. +"You can't expect her to give up things." + +"No," he repeated, mechanically. "I can't expect her to--give up +things." He fell back silently, in increased gloom. Elizabeth glanced +towards him involuntarily as she left the room. + +"Now," she said to herself, "I have disappointed him again and he +won't come near me this evening. But it is better so--far, far +better," she repeated to herself, with a little sob, as she followed +her hostess to the carriage. + + + + +_Chapter XIX_ + + +The next day was unexpectedly mild. Winter, after reigning supreme, +made sudden and treacherous overtures to approaching spring. The air +in the Park was almost balmy, and the drives were gay, as though it +were much later in the season, with carriages and riders and bicycles +galore; yet the warm sunlight falling incongruously on sere, brown +grass and bare branches, seemed but to emphasize their dreariness and +the fact that winter had not really surrendered, and was only biding +his time and the advent of the March winds, to make his power felt all +the more strongly. Pedestrians, realizing this, refused to be +inveigled out, even by the spring-like air, and there was no one to +notice the young man and the young woman who sat on a bench in one of +the secluded walks near Eighth avenue; the young woman, simply dressed +in a dark tailor-made gown, with a small black hat pushed well over +her face, which showed beneath it very pale and set, with hard lines +about the mouth; the young man staring at her in bewilderment, a look +of distress in his handsome blue eyes. + +"And so," he said, "you don't love me any longer?" It had taken him +some time to grasp this fact, which still seemed to him +incomprehensible. + +"No," she said, in a low, determined voice, "I don't love you any +longer. I don't know if I--ever did. I was so young, I had never seen +any men, I didn't know what I was doing. You flattered me; it was +interesting, romantic. But if I had loved you, really loved you"--she +stopped for an instant. "If I had really loved you," she repeated "do +you think I could have hesitated--that day at Cranston? Do you think I +could have let you go--without me? Why, I should have followed +you--don't you see that I would?--to the end of the world." The color +rushed into her face, there was a ring in her voice that he never +heard before--no, not even in those early days, when she had sat at +his feet, and worshipped him as a genius. Then, as he looked at her, +he realized for the first time that he had lost her. The discovery +was, for many reasons, unwelcome. + +"Well, if you didn't love me," he said, hoarsely, "you certainly made +me believe that you did. Elizabeth, you have treated me abominably. I +didn't wish to leave you--do me the justice to admit that--it was your +own doing entirely." + +"I know it." She bent her head submissively. "I don't blame you for +anything; not even for--forgetting me." + +"I didn't forget you," he interrupted her, flushing hotly, and +repeating assertions which she had heard already, and interpreted by +that knowledge of his character, which she had acquired too late to be +of value. She put them aside now with a gesture of weariness. + +"What's the use," she said, "of going over that again, I have said +already, I don't reproach you. We can't either of us--can we?--afford +to throw stones. And yet, if you had not stopped writing"--She paused +for a moment with knitted brows, as she seemed to weigh one +possibility against another, in a sort of inward trial of her own +conduct. An instinctive mental honesty, however, carried the day. "I +don't know that that would have made any difference," she said. "I was +very unhappy because you--had forgotten me, and that made me want to +come to town, all the more; but--if I had been happy, and sure that +you loved me, I should have come, I think, all the same. And no matter +how I had felt, or what I had done, I should have known, sooner or +later--oh, I couldn't but realize it--what a--what a terrible mistake +we had made." She put out her hands in a sudden, despairing gesture, +which hurt his vanity. + +"Elizabeth, do you really mean that?" + +"Yes," she said, in a low, monotonous voice, and staring straight +before her with hard, hopeless eyes. "Yes, I mean it. I have been +realizing it, little by little, all these months. And yet I put it +away--I wouldn't think of it--till one day it forced itself upon me. I +knew, all at once, that I--I dreaded your coming back, I hoped you +never would--it was when I was enjoying myself, when I was thinking +how delightful life was. And then, after that, the fear of your coming +was always there--I could never get rid of it for any length of time, +till just for a while--yesterday"--Her voice faltered, and for the +first time the softening tears sprang to her eyes. "Oh, I can't help +it," she cried out, "if I'm hard. When I think how happy I +was--wildly, absurdly happy, just for a little while, and then to +think how--how miserable I am now." + +She stopped, half strangled with her sobs, and Paul sat staring at her +in moody silence. He was clear-sighted enough now to grasp the truth. +Such violent grief, he told himself, could have but one explanation. +There was, there must be, some other man. + +Yet the conviction made him only the more determined not to give her +up. True, there had been a time, not long before, when he would have +done so only too gladly; when he would have welcomed an opportunity to +free himself from an irksome bond, which he regretted quite as much as +she did. But now, since his return, when he heard her spoken of +everywhere as one of the beauties of the season, when he saw her in +D'Hauteville's studio in her velvet and furs, her whole appearance +redolent of grace and charm, and that nameless distinction which +Gerard had noticed, and which impressed the young musician even more +deeply; when he saw her thus a hundred times more desirable, his +fickle heart succumbed anew, with a sudden throb of joy, at the +thought of the secret tie between them. She was his, this young +princess, whom he had chosen when she was a mere Cinderella; he had +but to hold out his hand and she would come to him. For he never +doubted that she _would_ come. Her first coldness he had looked upon +as mere girlish pique at his neglect, a proof of her affection. Now, +a sadder and a wiser being, he had learned that the privilege of +forgetfulness is not confined to men alone. + +Yet the situation, unflattering though it was, had its advantages, +which dawned upon him gradually, while Elizabeth still sobbed. He rose +and paced up and down in front of her, thinking the matter over. After +all, a wife was the last thing that he wanted--just then, when his +career was opening out before him in unexpectedly brilliant colors. He +realized perfectly the value of his own good looks, and the loss of +prestige that marriage would involve. Matrimony is a mistake for an +artist--he had told himself this many times in the last few months. +And yet, having once made the mistake, having won this beautiful girl +for his wife, how could he give her up. There was the chance that she +might change her mind again, and return to her first love. Then it was +sweet to feel that she was in his power, that he could at any time +bring her to terms by threatening to publish the fact that she had +concealed all this time. True, the marriage might be dissolved--he had +not much doubt himself that it could be; but either this plan did not +occur to Elizabeth, or she dreaded the inevitable gossip and +publicity. At all events, it was not his place, he thought, to suggest +it to her. He held the mastery of the situation, and he was determined +to improve it to the uttermost. And having arrived at this conclusion, +he suddenly stopped before her and spoke in a tone of unwonted +resolution. + +"Listen to me, Elizabeth," he said. "I don't know why you are making +this scene. In what has the situation changed since--let us say, last +week? I don't ask you to acknowledge our marriage at once--indeed it +is impossible for me to do so, as I am not--worse luck--in a position +just now to support a wife." + +Elizabeth, in her surprise, stopped crying and stared up at him +blankly. "You don't want the marriage acknowledged?" she repeated, +utterly taken aback. + +"Not just now," said Paul, calmly. "It would be as inconvenient for +me, as it seems to be for you. No, all I ask is for you to see me +occasionally, to think of me more kindly, and in time--perhaps in +time, dearest, you will care for me again as you used to." + +He went on to dilate on this hope. Elizabeth's tears as she listened, +ceased. A feeling of relief stole over her, the reaction which follows +so often upon violent distress. "In time," Paul said. Ah, yes, her +heart answered, there is no knowing what wonders time may accomplish. +It might even--who could tell?--find a way for her out of this +terrible perplexity. + +Yet the thought was illogical. Of what use was it to put off the evil +day? There was a side of her nature which was brave and +straightforward, which detested false pretences and evasions, and all +the net-work of deception in which her secret had already involved +her; which called out upon her boldly to tell the truth, since every +day that she kept it hidden only made the final disclosure more +difficult. But there was another side which counselled compromise, +which shrank from facing the inevitable, which lived only in the +present and refused to take thought for the future. And finally there +was a side which did not reason, which simply remembered the look in a +man's eyes, when he had spoken to her the day before of her picture. + +How would it be if he knew the truth? Would he make allowances for +her, would he be magnanimous enough to forgive? Ah, no, he had judged +her harshly for no apparent reason. Such a discovery would put an end +entirely to all his faith in her. + +For she felt instinctively how it would strike him--this impulsive +action of a thoughtless girl, who had rushed into marriage as if it +were a mere farce, and taken upon herself, lightly, the most solemn +vows, only to repent of them quite as readily. He would pronounce her +hopelessly light and fickle, he would never believe that she was +capable of any deeper feeling. His presentiment, distrust--whatever it +was that had kept him from her--would be justified, and--and there +would be the end of it. And the best thing that could happen, that +stern inner voice called out. + +But she would not listen to it--not yet, at least. She must see him +once or twice first, probe his feelings a little more surely, prepare +him a little, perhaps, to judge her more gently.... Some time--very +soon, perhaps,--she would tell him herself, but--not now, not now.... + +Her head ached, she was physically exhausted, and Paul was waiting, +impatiently, for her decision. She had an engagement, too, for +luncheon--she remembered that mechanically.... In this matter-of-fact +world of ours, the every-day and the tragic incidents of life jostle +one another so closely. + +"I--I must go," she murmured, confusedly. "I've been here too long. We +can talk about all this another time." + +"But you consent," he said eagerly. "You wish to keep it secret, +awhile longer? That is the agreement for the present?" + +She hesitated for a moment. "Yes," she said at last, "that is the +agreement, till--till I have time to think it over. And now I must +go." She drew out the little jeweled watch that Mrs. Van Antwerp had +given her, among other valuable things, at Christmas. "I am going out +to luncheon, and I am supposed at present to be in my room, recovering +from last night's ball." + +"What a gay person you are!" Paul said, regarding her complacently. +"Ah, Elizabeth, if you wanted to be nice, you could help me a great +deal in my profession." + +"Help you?" she repeated, staring at him blankly. + +"Yes, in a social way," he explained. "It always helps an artist to be +taken up by swell people. There's your friend Mrs. Van Antwerp--can't +you--there's a good girl--persuade her to do something for me?" + +"I heard her ask you to call," she returned, coldly. + +"Yes, but she could do more than that," he said. "She could, for +instance, have me sing and ask people to hear me. I need a start, I +need patrons among society people; and that is exactly, my dear girl, +what you can get me." + +They were walking slowly by this time towards the entrance of the +Park, and suddenly she turned and faced him with one of those flashes +of defiance, which he rather admired. "Let me understand," she said, +quickly, and a pale, cold gleam lighted up her white face, like the +glint of steel upon marble. "You want me to--to get you invitations, +to persuade people to ask you to sing? This is the--the price of your +silence?" + +He shrugged his shoulders, not much disturbed by the scorn in her +voice. "If you choose to put it so plainly--yes," he said. "After all, +it is not much to ask, and you ought, one would think, to be glad if +you can help me." + +She walked on beside him in gloomy silence. "It's not much to ask," +she said, in a low, bitter voice, "but it involves--have you thought +of that?--my seeing you constantly." + +"And is that so terrible?" he asked, reddening. + +"It's not pleasant," she said, shortly "but I suppose I must--submit. +I'm in your power; you can ask what you please." They had reached the +entrance of the Park, and she turned to him, as if to dismiss him. "I +promise, then," she said. "I'll do what I can to help you--socially, +and in return you must promise to treat me as you would any other +acquaintance--not force me to meet you again, or let people suppose +that there is anything between us. Do you agree to that?" + +"I suppose I must," he said, disconsolately, "though it's a harder +condition, by far, than mine." + +Again that cold, scornful gleam flashed across her face. + +"Oh, you'll resign yourself to it," she said. "It's much more to the +point to get--the invitations. I'll see that my side of the bargain is +fulfilled." She drew down her veil, glancing anxiously across the wide +Square, where street-cars, bicycles and wagons all converge from +different directions and in inextricable confusion. "Don't come any +further with me," she said. "I don't wish people to see us together." + +She left him abruptly as she spoke, and he stood for a moment and +watched her cross the Square and take a car at the corner. He was not +quite satisfied with the interview; she had been too independent, too +scornful. It hurt his pride. But the situation was full of +possibilities. He felt that his rash marriage had been a stroke of +genius. + +Elizabeth, meanwhile, was making her way home, with a feeling of +tremulous relief, much as if she had escaped unexpectedly from +shipwreck, with at least a plank to cling to, and bear her perhaps to +ultimate safety. Yet how slight that plank was she might have +realized, had she known that Julian Gerard, as he entered the Park on +horseback, had seen her walk down one of the side paths, with the man +who, only a day before, had aroused his jealous suspicions. + +"And she said she didn't know him," he thought, with a fierce throb of +pain, and rode on, frowning, into the Park. + + + + +_Chapter XX_ + + +"My dear Julian," wrote Mrs. Bobby Van Antwerp to Mr. Gerard a week +later, "you are, I think, neglecting us shamefully. What has become of +you? If you are inclined to perform a charitable action, do come in to +tea to-morrow afternoon. You don't generally, I know, patronize such +mild functions, but we are to have a little music"-- + +"A little music?" mused Gerard, knitting his brows and thrusting out +his under lip, as the note dropped from his hand. "That means, of +course, that young Halleck. It's something new for Eleanor to go in +for music. But it's _her_ doing, of course. I suppose she really cares +for the fellow. And yet what a pity--what a pity that she should throw +herself away like that!" He sat gazing absently before him, his pen in +his hand, while the work upon which he had been engaged when Mrs. +Bobby's note arrived--an article for a scientific magazine--remained +without the finishing touches he had intended to bestow. + +He had not seen Elizabeth since that morning in the Park. + +He had carefully refrained from going where he might see her. He had +denied himself, once for all, that unprofitable and mysterious +pleasure of watching her across the ball-room, while he leaned inertly +against the wall, or talked, in his weary way, to some woman to whom +he felt himself indebted. No, thank Heaven, he had been warned in +time; there was no danger of his being made a fool of a second time. + +His mind wandered back across the gulf of years, to that other woman +whom he had loved so desperately once, whose shadow still stood +between him and the happiness which seemed, now and again, within his +grasp. He thought of the mad infatuation, the bitter disillusion, the +restless travelling to and fro, the final settling down into cynical +indifference.... and then long afterwards, when the indifference had +grown into a habit, and he dreaded nothing more than to have it +disturbed, he had met this girl who had exercised upon him from the +first a curious effect, half repellant, half attractive, and wholly +baffling and alarming, whose hair he had objected to because it was +"too red" and who played the piano with a force and fire and passion, +which stirred his heart as he had resolved it should never be stirred +again. + +Gerard had always intended to marry, but he proposed, in spite of the +efforts of Eleanor Van Antwerp and other anxious friends, to take his +time about it. He had his ideal of the sort of wife he wanted--a being +as different as possible from his first love, and almost as tiresome a +compound of all the domestic virtues as that mythical personage whom +Hannah More's hero had once gone in search of. But, unlike that +estimable individual, he had fallen in love with a woman far removed +from his ideal, of doubtful antecedents which he liked no better than +Bobby Van Antwerp, of qualities the reverse of domestic, and the type +of hair and coloring which he had long illogically, but none the less +strongly, associated with a certain lack of moral sense. + +Yet though Gerard could not help his feelings, he could certainly +control his actions, and he was determined to keep away from Elizabeth +Van Vorst--more especially now since there seemed to be some +unaccountable understanding between her and that young Halleck. + +Yet that very fact made him the more anxious to see her, and find out +for himself how far his suspicions were justified. "Good Heavens," +thought Gerard, getting up and pacing restlessly to and fro "how can +she care for a fellow like that--so second-rate, so superficial, such +a--such a cad? What is Eleanor thinking of to have him at the house? +Some one really ought to give her a hint--not I; but--some one." ... + +The end of it all was that he strolled into Mrs. Van Antwerp's +drawing-room that afternoon, his usual air of well-bred impassiveness +unmoved by the sight of Paul Halleck seated at the piano, and the +cynosure of several pairs of admiring feminine eyes. + +Elizabeth's eyes were not among them. She was in a back room pouring +tea. But Gerard had no sooner assured himself of her being thus +harmlessly employed, than his jealous heart suggested that there was +something sinister in such apparent indifference. + +He wandered into the other room as soon as he decently could. She was +seated at the tea-table, for the moment, entirely alone. Seen thus off +guard, for she did not at first perceive Gerard, there was something +indefinably weary and listless in her attitude. She was paler even +than she had been that day at the Portrait Show, and the lines beneath +her eyes were not black, but purple. It would have gone ill with her +reputation as a beauty had it been put to the vote that afternoon. But +it was Gerard's peculiarity, his misfortune perhaps, that she appealed +to him most at times when to the world at large she was looking her +worst. He stood watching her for a moment. Presently she looked up. +She caught sight of him. Instantly the warm, lovely color rushed into +her cheeks, only to retreat, and leave her paler than before--but not +till he had seen it. + +His manner was very gentle as he approached her and asked for a cup of +tea. She poured it out mechanically, with a hand that trembled. + +"We have not seen you lately," she said, with eyes carefully riveted +on the tea-things. "Eleanor was wondering--what had become of you." + +"Indeed! It was very kind of her to give me a thought." Gerard stirred +his tea absently. "I was busy," he said "with an article I had +promised for a magazine." + +"Ah! You write a great deal, don't you?" Elizabeth looked up with +some interest. "I should like to see some of your articles, if I may." + +He smiled. "You don't know what you're asking. You'd find them very +dull." + +"What, because I'm so dull myself?" she asked, with a flash of spirit. + +"I told you once before," he said, in the tone that he had used to her +at the studio "that I didn't think you--that." + +"Ah, but you think me other things that are--worse." + +"As what, for instance?" he asked, smiling. + +"Oh frivolous, and vain, and heartless. A lot of horrid things." + +"I only said you _seemed_ so." + +"Ah, then you think I'm better than I seem?" she asked, flippantly, +yet with a swift inward pang. + +He seemed to consider. "I think you are very--incomprehensible," he +said at last. + +She bent down over the tea-things, so that he could not see her face. +"Oh, that's only," she said, in a low voice "because you haven't the +key to the enigma. If you had it"--She paused. "You might not like the +things you understood," she concluded. + +Gerard put down his untasted cup. "I'm willing to take the risk," he +said, deliberately. + +He waited, as if for an answer, but none came. She appeared to busy +herself with the tea-things. In the next room Paul Halleck began to +sing the Evening Star song. It seemed to Gerard that Elizabeth turned +a shade paler than she had been before. + +"He has a fine voice," he said, when the song was finished. "Don't you +think so?" + +She started. "Yes, I--I think so," she said, mechanically. + +"I was surprised a little at Eleanor's going in for music," Gerard +went on. "It isn't her line, generally." + +"No, it isn't her line," Elizabeth repeated, in the same mechanical +tones. Suddenly she met his eyes defiantly. "I asked her to have him +here," she said. + +"Ah, you asked her?" Gerard drew his breath quickly. "I _thought_ he +was a--a friend of yours." + +"You thought so?" she returned quickly, and then in a low voice, as if +she dreaded the answer: "Why?" + +"Why?" He repeated her question as if it surprised him. For a moment +he seemed to hesitate; then, as if forming a sudden resolution: "I +thought so," he said, steadily, and looking her straight in the face +"for one thing, because I saw you walking in the Park with him one +morning." + +"Ah, you--you saw me?" She seemed to gasp for breath. Then, with a +quick, impetuous movement, she pushed the tea-things away from her. +"And so," she said, turning to him suddenly, her cheeks flushed, her +eyes sparkling "you--you put the worst construction upon that, you +think more ill of me than ever?"-- + +He had turned very pale, but still his voice was steady. "I don't +know why I should think ill of you, for such a simple thing as that. +But if there is any secret about it"--he fixed his eyes upon her +coldly, haughtily--"if the meeting was not intended to be known, why +I--I'm sorry I should have seen it. Of course I should not mention +it--to any one else." + +She flushed a little, then grew pale, before the scorn in his eyes. +"There is--there is no secret," she said, in a low voice. "You can +mention it--to whom you please." + +"I confess I was a little surprised," he went on, without heeding her, +and this time a note of keen anxiety pierced through the studied +quietness of his voice, his gaze softened, as if imploring her to give +him the explanation which he had no right to demand. "I was a little +taken aback," he said, "because I understood you to say--the day +before--that you hardly knew him." + +"Yes, I--I remember." She leaned back in her chair, staring before her +with hard, bright eyes. "When I told you that," she said, slowly "I--I +lied." + +It gave him a keen shock to hear her pronounce the word. He did not +speak, and she looked up at him presently with a little, deprecating +smile. "Now," she said, softly "I've shocked you, haven't I?" + +He was silent for a moment. "No," he said, at last "not that; but--I'm +sorry. I don't like to think of you as--misstating anything, even if +the matter is of no importance." + +She had taken up a teaspoon, and was playing with it absently. "I +don't know," she said, slowly "why you should care." + +"Don't you?" He turned his eyes away. "I wish to Heaven I didn't," he +said, low and fiercely. The words were not intended for her, but she +heard them and again the warm, beautiful color rushed into her cheeks. +An answer trembled on her lips, but she struggled not to say it; +struggled against the desire to bring that glow to his face, that +light to his eyes, which she knew so well lay dormant, beneath the +heavy lids. She knew, ah, she knew. While he stayed away she had her +misgivings, but now that she saw him again, she read his heart, even +as she had done at the Portrait Show. She had only to be herself, her +best self, and she held him captive, he could not escape. Yet, +paradoxically, her better instincts urged upon her to show him her +worst side, to say the things which hurt and shocked him. + +While she hesitated, people came crowding in from the next room. In +the confusion that ensued, Gerard was forced away from the table. He +fell back against the wall, and watched Elizabeth while, with +instinctive self-command, she fulfilled the different demands made +upon her. He saw Halleck go up to her gaily, flushed with his success, +and bending over her, murmur a few jesting words, which she heard +without a smile. Gerard could have killed him for the air of +proprietorship which was even more pronounced than at the musicale. +But she--how did she like it? He scanned her face eagerly. There was +no softness there, no answering gleam of pleasure; rather a dull, +dogged look of submission, which seemed to cover, or Gerard deceived +himself, an instinctive shrinking, a powerless resentment. + +"She doesn't care for him," he thought, with a quick, sharp sense of +relief. "And yet--she has to be civil to him, she has to do things to +help him. Why, for Heaven's sake, why?" He wandered into the other +room, tormenting himself with this question, and found his hostess +there. + +"What do you think of my new protegé?" she asked, detaining him as he +took his leave. + +"What, Halleck? Oh, he sings very well," he returned, absently. + +"I never before posed as a patron of rising musicians," she went on, +"but Elizabeth knew him, it seems, in the country, and asked if I +would mind helping him a little. She's so fond of music, you know." +She spoke quite innocently. Gerard gave her a quick, searching glance. +Apparently she suspected nothing. Yet she was a woman of quick +perceptions. Perhaps, after all, it was he who was mistaken; his +jealous, suspicious nature had led him into unnecessary torture. No +wonder she had met his doubt with defiance, had not deigned to justify +herself, or to dispel a distrust which he had no right to display. In +the sudden, glad, unreasoning reaction, he was ready to heap all +manner of insulting epithets upon himself. + +"I think your efforts will be repaid," he said, inclined in his relief +to be generous. "Halleck has a fine voice. I shouldn't wonder if he +were quite a success." + +"It was very nice of you to come in," she said. "You have been such a +recluse lately. What have you been doing?" + +"Oh, the whirl of excitement in which I've been living was too much +for me," he declared "and so I've given up society for awhile, and am +going in for hard study by way of rest." + +"Good gracious! That sounds very impressive," she said. "I'm almost +afraid to suggest, under the circumstances, that you should take a +seat in our box at the opera to-night. And yet I wish you would, +Julian, just by way of doing me a favor, for some people I've asked +are not coming, and Bobby is away, and Elizabeth and I will be quite +alone." + +He smiled. "I don't think there's much chance of your being alone very +long," he said. Yet he promised at last to take one of the vacant +seats, though he had refused several other invitations for that +evening. Mrs. Bobby's eyes sparkled as if she had achieved a victory. + +"Julian is coming to-night," she announced to Elizabeth, when the +musicale was over and the last guest had departed. + +"Is he?" Elizabeth spoke without apparent interest, as she sank, with +a weary look, into a chair in front of the fire. + +"You are tired. Would you rather not go to-night?" + +"Oh, no"--with a languid gesture. "Music doesn't tire me!" + +"And yet," said Mrs. Bobby, who had taken the seat opposite her and +was watching her thoughtfully, "you didn't seem to care enough about +it to come in to listen to your friend this afternoon." + +Elizabeth blushed. "I could hear him in the other room," she said. + +"Where, besides, you seemed to be very well entertained," said Mrs. +Bobby, serenely. "Still, I don't think it was nice of you. It is hard +on the poor man, after flirting with him in the country, to treat him +so indifferently in town." + +"I didn't flirt with him," said Elizabeth, but her protest was faint, +and seemed purely perfunctory. In fact, she was not sorry that Mrs. +Bobby had adopted this theory, realizing that a half-truth may +sometimes be the most effective barrier to a knowledge of the whole. + +"Don't tell me anything so wildly improbable, my dear," said Mrs. +Bobby. "My knowledge of human nature will not allow me to believe that +a pretty girl and a handsome young singer, thrown together for weeks +in the country, as I believe you were, did _not_ indulge in a +tremendous flirtation. But seriously, Elizabeth, I am glad that it +went no further, and that you have recovered so easily. For I can +imagine that you lost your heart to him a little. Confess, Elizabeth, +didn't you?" + +"Perhaps I did," said Elizabeth, staring immovably into the fire "but +one gets over such things, you know." + +"Indeed one does," said Mrs. Bobby. "I was desperately in love at +seventeen, and cried my eyes out when they made me give the man up; +and yet had I married him, I should have been the most wretched being +in the world, instead of a much happier woman than I deserve to be, +thanks to a husband far too good for me. (But that, dear, is between +ourselves. I always try to make Bobby think it's the other way.) But +imagine how dreadful it would have been, if I had had my own foolish +way at seventeen. And so I am glad, Elizabeth, that you have got over +your penchant for this young artist, who is good-looking, and sings +well, and all that; but who is--even if I knew anything about him, +which I don't--quite the last man I should like you to marry." + +Elizabeth's face was turned away. "I don't know," she said in a low +voice, "why you think of that." + +"Oh, I was only speculating on what might have been," said Mrs. Bobby, +lightly. "I know," she went on after a moment, stealing a furtive +glance at the girl's averted face, "I know the sort of man I should +like you to marry, Elizabeth. He must be older than you, considerably +older; of a serious disposition, with a strong will, stronger than +yours, for you might be perhaps a little hard to manage; fond of music +and fond of books; rich, and with a good position of course; and--and +I should like him to be every bit as nice as Bobby, if such a thing is +possible." + +Elizabeth turned her white face towards her friend. "And you think," +she said, in a low, stifled voice, "that I should come up to the +standard of a paragon like that?" + +"My dear," said Mrs. Bobby, wisely, "paragons don't marry _other_ +paragons, or the world would be somewhat more dull than it is at +present. A man who is very serious should marry a woman who is a +trifle frivolous, and in that way they strike the happy medium." + +"I don't know," said Elizabeth. "They would be more likely, I should +think, to strike a--a discordancy. It would be fatiguing to try to +please a man like that. One could never, do what one would, come up to +his standard." + +"You wouldn't have to," said Mrs. Bobby, softly, "he would think you +perfect, if--he loved you." + +"Do you think so?" said Elizabeth, with rather a dreary smile. "I +think, for my part, that he would be harder to satisfy, he would exact +all the more, because--he loved you." She sat pondering the idea for a +moment, then with a careless little gesture, she seemed to dismiss the +subject as a thing of small consequence. "It's much better not to try +to satisfy people like that," she declared. "What a lot of time we are +wasting! It must be time to dress." She got up and moved towards the +door. + +Mrs. Bobby followed her with her eyes. "I'll send Celeste to you," she +said. "Wear your most becoming gown. Look your best, and do your hair +the way I like it. I assure you, such trifles have their effect--even +upon a paragon." + + + + +_Chapter XXI_ + + +"Look my best!" Elizabeth repeated, standing before her muslin-skirted +dressing-table, and staring at the haggard apparition that met her +eyes. "Wear my most becoming gown, do my hair the most becoming way! +It all sounds so easy. But what can bring back my color, what can take +away these terrible dark rings, this horrible strained, anxious look? +Any one can see, to look at me, that I've something on my mind.... + +"... I shall never tell him the truth--never, never. I may beat about +the bush, but I shall always leave myself a loop-hole to crawl out of. +And yet if I could only consult him--consult _some one_--find out what +I really ought to do. But no, no, I don't dare risk it; it would be +terrible to be advised--just the way I don't want. I must decide on +some plan myself. But--Heaven knows what!" She stood for a while +motionless, gazing helplessly into a mist of perplexities. + +The little Sèvres clock on her mantel-piece roused her as it struck +the hour, and she began hastily to dress. She drew the rippling waves +of her hair into the fashion that Mrs. Bobby liked, she put on her +favorite gown, a charming creation of white lace and chiffon, +relieved by touches of pale green; she tried conscientiously to look +her best, but still her cheeks were pale, there was the strained look +in her eyes. + +She was about ready when Mrs. Bobby's maid came to help her, bringing +a box of flowers that had just that moment arrived. Celeste, a thrifty +person, regarded them with some disgust. She could tell them, these +gentlemen, that it was of little use to waste their money on +Mademoiselle, who did not care about, sometimes hardly glanced at, the +flowers which some other young lady would give her eyes to receive. +Ah, well, that was the unequal way in which things in this world were +arranged. Celeste disposed of the matter thus, with a philosophic +French shrug of the shoulders. + +But there was no counting on such a capricious person as Mademoiselle. +To-night, as she glanced at the card in the box, she blushed +beautifully, took out the flowers with care, and read with eager eyes +the few lines that the giver had scrawled, apparently in great haste +and in pencil: + +"This afternoon I was unspeakably rude--even brutal. Forgive me--what +right had I to take you to task for your actions? My only excuse is +that I care--I can't help caring--so desperately. I send you white +roses--they suit you best. You wore one that I gave you--do you +remember?--but probably you don't--the first night I saw you. If you +are very merciful, if you accept my repentance, wear one to-night--in +token of forgiveness." + +"In token of forgiveness?" Elizabeth pressed one of the exquisite, +creamy-white roses against her glowing cheeks. "You wore one the first +night I saw you--probably you don't remember?" Ah, yes, she +remembered--but that was different. She could not wear one now. "Yet +only in token of forgiveness?" With a quick, passionate gesture, she +raised it to her lips, then fastened it carefully amidst the lace of +her gown. + +Celeste, whose presence she had forgotten, bent down discreetly, with +a suppressed smile, to arrange the folds of her train. Ah, clearly, +after all, there was one gentleman who did not waste his money on +Mademoiselle. + +"Madame wished Mademoiselle to look well to-night," she observed, +after a moment. "I think Madame will be satisfied." + +Mademoiselle glanced at herself again, and started as she looked. +Could this brilliant young beauty, her small head proudly erect, her +eyes brilliant, her cheeks aflame, be the same woman whose haggard +reflection had stared back at her from the same mirror only +half-an-hour before? + +She did not feel like the same woman. The doubts, the fears, which had +beset her then seemed mere chimeras, the fancies of a morbid brain. +She felt gay, confident, strong enough to conquer even fate. Celeste +was right--she looked her best. Mrs. Bobby's words rang in her ears. +"Such trifles have their effect--even on a paragon." And then +again--"He would think you perfect as you were if--he loved you." "No, +he need not think me perfect," she murmured to her mirror, "but he +must--he shall think me beautiful. And that is more to the point," +she concluded, as she gathered up fan and gloves and left the room. + +The opera that night was Carmen, which peculiarly suited her phase of +mind. There is no other which so thoroughly embodies the spirit of +recklessness, the triumph of the senses, the frank, impulsive, +untrammeled enjoyment of life and of living. To be sure, there is the +tragic ending--but before that, three acts of brilliant melody, +glowing with color, with warm, sensuous pleasure. + +Gerard was waiting in the box when they arrived. On the stage +Carmen--that ideal Carmen of whom Mérimée dreamed and Bizet set to +music--had just appeared upon the scene of Don Jose's misfortune, and +was warbling, with bewitching abandon, the notes of the Habanera. + +Gerard's face, which had an anxious look, brightened wonderfully, +radiantly, as the two women entered the box. He murmured eagerly a few +grateful words in Elizabeth's ear, and took the seat directly behind +her, which he did not abandon, even though his predictions were +justified, and Mrs. Van Antwerp's box was filled, after the first act, +with men who looked anything but pleased at finding that particular +place monopolized. Mrs. Bobby, however, seemed delighted to entertain +them, was gracious, charming and piquante, and elicited from a stern +dowager in the next box severe criticisms on the wiles of young +married women, and their reprehensible manner of diverting to +themselves the attention due to the young girls under their charge. + +Elizabeth hardly noticed the men who entered the box. She sat with +eyes fixed upon the stage, upon that intensely real music drama which +she had seen many times already, but which never lost its fascination; +yet acutely conscious all the while through every fibre of her being +of Gerard's presence, of his watching her, of his bending over her, +now and again, to murmur a word in her ear. And as for him, she had +appealed to him most, perhaps, at least to a certain side of his +nature, that afternoon in her pale languor; and yet he could not but +feel his senses thrilled, his pulses throb, when she was so warmly, +vividly, humanly beautiful as she was to-night. For the moment he was +carried beyond himself, his doubts dispelled, or at least forgotten. + +And yet, as the evening wore on, some subtle influence in the music or +the play seemed to recall them. At the end of the second act she +turned to him, the strains of the Toreador song still ringing in her +ear, and felt, insensibly a sudden lack of sympathy, a cloud that +seemed to have drifted between them. His brows were knit, his face +moody. + +"You don't like it!" she said, staring up at him with wondering, +disappointed eyes. + +"What, the opera?" He started as if his thoughts had been elsewhere. +"No, I don't like it," he said, frankly. "It jars upon me somehow, +brings up memories"--he paused. "Oh, it's some drop of Puritan blood, +I suppose," he went on, impatiently, "that asserts itself in me. I +can't view the thing from an artistic standpoint. I can't forget for +a moment what a heartless creature the woman is. When I see her +ruining men's lives, luring them on, turning from one to another--it's +too realistic--there are too many women like that"--He was speaking +low and bitterly, with a strange vehemence, but suddenly he broke off, +with a short laugh. "Oh, it's absurd," he said, "to take a thing like +that seriously." + +Elizabeth did not smile. She leaned back in her chair as if she were +suddenly weary. "Poor Carmen!" she said, in a low voice. "You're very +hard on her." She held up her fan before her eyes, as if the light +hurt them. A shadow seemed to fall upon her beauty, effacing its color +and brilliance, bringing out again into strong relief the dark rings +under the eyes, the lines about the mouth. She sat in silence for +awhile, but suddenly she turned to him. + +"I'm going to shock you, I'm afraid," she said, "but--do you +know--somehow I can't help seeing the other side. What is a woman to +do, if she changes against her will? Is she to abide always, +inexorably, by the results of a mistake?" A note of passionate feeling +thrilled her voice, she fixed her eyes anxiously, intently, upon +Gerard. "There are so many questions that might arise," she went on, +eagerly, as he did not answer at once. "One might, for instance, make +a promise--a very solemn promise, and find out afterwards that it +was--a mistake, that it would ruin one's whole life to keep it; +and--and one might break it, and the other person might think himself +very much injured; and yet--would you think the woman in that case so +very much to blame?" + +Gerard thought he understood. With the conviction came a sense of +passionate relief, which yet he hesitated, with the fastidious +scruples of a proud and honorable man, to grasp in its entirety. + +"I--I don't think I'm competent to express an opinion," he said, in a +low voice. "You should ask--some one else." + +"There's no one else whom I can ask," she said quickly, and with her +eyes always fixed imploringly upon him. "Tell me--what you think. What +should a woman do in a case like that?" + +"I--it's a difficult situation," he said, still holding under control +his eager desire to advise her in the only way in which it seemed to +him possible to advise her. But how could he trust his own judgment? +"I"--he hesitated--"Personally," he said, "I can't imagine holding a +woman to a promise that she has--repented of; but other men +might--probably would feel differently." + +"Yes," she said, sadly, "he--this man does." + +"And you--the woman is quite sure she has made a mistake," he asked, +eagerly. + +"Yes, yes, quite sure," she said, quickly, "a terrible mistake." + +"Then," said Gerard, and he drew a long sigh as of intense relief, "I +don't think there could be two opinions on the subject. No one could +advise you--this woman to ruin her life for a mistake, especially if +the--the man were unworthy?" He looked at her questioningly. + +"He seemed to her unworthy," she said, in a low voice. + +"Then, for Heaven's sake," he asked, almost fiercely, "how can you +hesitate?" + +She did not speak, but turned her eyes towards the stage and again +placed her fan so that it shielded them. All over the house there was +the subdued rustle of people returning to their seats. The orchestra +sounded the first notes of the third act, the curtain rose upon the +gypsy camp. During Michaela's solo and the scene between the two men, +Elizabeth still sat silent, her fan before her face. The act was well +advanced before she turned to Gerard. + +"Then," she said, "you would advise me to--to break my word?" + +"Under the circumstances--yes," he said, steadily. "But don't," he +went on quickly, and passionate vibration thrilled his voice, more +unrepressed than ever before, "don't be guided by my opinion. In this +particular case it is--impossible for me to judge impartially." + +"Is it," she asked softly, and then added quickly, as if to avert an +answer, "still, I'm glad to know your opinion. I feel sure you +wouldn't say what you don't think. Thank you--thank you very much." +Her tone was low and subdued, like that of a grateful child. She +leaned back in her chair with a look of relief, that seemed both +physical and mental. She did not speak again till near the end of the +act, when Carmen reads her fortune in the cards. "I wonder," Elizabeth +said then, softly, "what she sees in them." + +"I had my fortune told once," she observed, turning to Gerard, as the +curtain fell. "It was when I was at school, and I went with one of the +girls to a famous palmist. He told me all sorts of strange, true +things about the past, and about the future."--She paused. + +"Well, about the future?" he asked, smiling. "One doesn't care about +the past. But he predicted, no doubt, all sorts of delightful things +about the future?" + +"No." She stared thoughtfully before her with knit brows. "He +said"--she spoke low and hesitatingly--"he said there was luck in my +hand--plenty of it; I should have splendid opportunities. But--he said +there was a line of misfortune, which crossed the other line and might +make it utterly useless; that there was danger of some kind--he +couldn't tell what, threatening me about my twenty-first year, and +that, you know, is very near; he said there were strange +lines--tragic, unusual,"--She stopped. "It sounds very ridiculous," +but though she tried to smile, her voice trembled, "and yet--I +remember it frightened me at the time, and does still--a little--when +I think of it." + +"But you don't surely," cried Gerard, "my dear child, you don't +suppose he knew a thing about it?" + +"I don't know. I believe I'm superstitious--are not you?" + +"I'm afraid I am," he said, "but not about things like that. I've seen +too many predictions of the kind prove false, to give them a thought." + +"It _is_ foolish to worry about them," she admitted, but still she sat +apparently deep in thought and played absently with her fan. At last +she looked up with her most brilliant smile. "I don't know why it is," +she said, "but we seem to be fated on unpleasant subjects. And yet the +opera is so gay. Do let us try, for the rest of the evening, to think +of pleasant things." She turned and held out her hand, smiling, to a +man who entered the box. For the rest of the opera she was brilliant, +animated, beautiful, as she had been at first. + +"And now you are satisfied," she said, looking at Gerard with laughing +eyes, as the curtain fell for the last time. "Carmen comes to a bad +end. According to your principles! she deserved it." + +"Ah, my principles!" he said, smiling. "I'm afraid I don't live up to +them very much." + +"Don't you?" She gave him a quick, searching glance, as he stood with +her cloak in his hand. "I wish I could believe that," she murmured. "I +should be a little less--afraid of you." + +He placed the cloak about her shoulders. "It is I who am afraid of +you," he whispered, bending over her, "and have been ever since I knew +you." + +Her eyes fell, and she fumbled nervously with the fastening of the +cloak. "Ah, you were afraid of me?" she said, under her breath. "And +now"-- + +"Oh, I've grown very brave," he murmured, as he followed her out of +the box, "you can't frighten me away any longer." The jesting words +lingered in her ear as they left the Opera House. + +"Ah, if he knew!" she said to herself, as she sank into her corner of +the carriage. "He doesn't know. And yet I told him the exact truth. +It's not my fault, if he--misunderstood." + +And Gerard meanwhile was telling himself that he understood it all. + +"Poor child!" he murmured to himself, as he lit a cigar and sauntered +slowly home. "So that was it. Of course, she thought she loved +him--the first man she met, and when he turned up felt herself +bound--I see it all! And she has suffered--had terrible pangs of +conscience over this thing. And I who misjudged her all this +time--imagined I don't know what--could I have advised her +differently? Surely not. The fellow's not worthy of her. Neither am I. +She won't look at me, probably. And yet--one can but try"-- + + + + +_Chapter XXII_ + + +It was mentioned generally, at various sewing-classes and other mild +functions during Lent, that Julian Gerard was very attentive, all of a +sudden, to Elizabeth Van Vorst. Some people, less accurate or more +imaginative than the rest, went so far as to announce the engagement +as an actual fact. + +"And, if so, it's all Eleanor Van Antwerp's doing," Mrs. Hartington +observed in private to her intimate friends. "She was determined to +make the match from the beginning. I saw the way she threw the girl at +his head at a dinner in the country, but I never for a moment thought +she would succeed--with Julian Gerard of all men, who is so +desperately afraid of being taken in." + +Julian Gerard, by that time, had well-nigh forgotten that such a fear +had ever disturbed him, or if he did remember it, it was to regard it, +so far as Elizabeth was concerned, as profanation. Since that evening +at the opera, his remorseful fancy had placed her on a pinnacle, which +she found at times, it must be confessed, a little difficult to +maintain. It was his misfortune and hers, that he could never view her +in the right perspective, never realize that she was neither a saint +nor the reverse, but merely a woman, and painfully human at that. + +But since he chose to consider her a saint, she did her best to live +up to the character. She kept Lent strictly that year as she had never +done before, went to church morning and evening, denied herself +bonbons and other luxuries, and worked with unskilled fingers but +great diligence at certain oddly-constructed garments which were doled +out to her and other young women every week as a Lenten penance, and +incidentally for the good of the poor. If in most cases the actual +penance fell to the lot of their maids, why, the poor were none the +wiser, and certainly much the better clothed. But Elizabeth insisted +on putting in all the painful stitches in the hard, coarse stuff +herself, and looked very pretty bending over it, as Mr. Gerard thought +when he came in one day and found her thus employed. + +It pleased him, of course. He did not attach much importance, himself, +to these things--this constant church-going, these small penances; +yet, manlike, it seemed to him right and fitting that she should +regard them differently. And then it was pleasant, after service, to +meet her in the vestibule. How many incipient love affairs have been +helped along, brought to a climax perhaps, by the convenient afternoon +service, and the sauntering walks home in the lingering twilight! + +To Elizabeth there was an indefinable charm in those ever-lengthening +Lenten days, rung in and out to the music of church bells, and marked, +as the season advanced and Easter approached, by the growing green of +the grass, and the budding shoots of the trees, and the intangible +feeling of spring in the air. That sense of dread, of impending +misfortune, which had been for a short time almost unbearable, was +lulled to sleep as by an opiate. She did not think of the past or the +future, she simply drifted from day to day, and each of these was +pleasanter than the last. + +For one thing, she had grown hardened, indifferent almost to the +constant meeting with Paul Halleck. She had kept her word and obtained +for him all the invitations in her power, until he no longer needed +her help. He was a great success. Mrs. Van Antwerp's informal little +musicale had been only the first of a series of more elaborate ones, +at which Halleck was often the chief attraction. Young girls admired +him extremely. Elizabeth could hear him talking to them, just as he +had once talked to her, about Swinburne and Rossetti and the last word +in Art, and she saw that, like herself, they thought him very +brilliant. It was an admiration which had tangible results, since it +led to an interest in music, and a desire to take singing-lessons from +the talented young barytone. Before long, he took a studio in +Carnegie, near D'Hauteville's, and furnished it luxuriously, on the +strength of his new prosperity. He was very much the fashion and +absorbed in his success, and seldom had the time, or perhaps the +inclination, to encounter Elizabeth's unflattering indifference. So +for the most part he left her alone, to her intense relief. + +One incident, a chance word, in a retrospect of that time, afterwards +stood out in Elizabeth's mind, though at the moment it seemed to make +but a slight impression. + +It was one Sunday afternoon when a number of people, Paul Halleck +among them, had dropped in to afternoon tea, and the conversation +happened to turn upon palmistry. Elizabeth did not proffer her own +experience. She listened silently to what the others said on the +subject. + +"I can't say I have implicit faith in it," observed Mrs. Bobby. "I was +told by a fortune-teller that I should marry a dark man, who would +beat me and treat me horribly; and as you see, I've married a fair +man--who treats me pretty well on the whole." + +Bobby, who was leaning against the mantel-piece his tea-cup in his +hand, smiled serenely. + +"Don't boast too soon, Eleanor," he said, lazily, "there's no knowing +what brutal tendencies I may develop yet." + +Mrs. Hartington, who was seated near him on a low chair, looked up +into his face with a sympathetic smile. "Are you one of those +long-suffering husbands who turn at last, Mr. Van Antwerp?" she asked, +sweetly. "It would be good discipline, I think, for Eleanor not to +have her own way _always_." + +Bobby looked down at her coolly for a moment with his calm blue eyes. +"No doubt, it would be good discipline for all of us, Mrs. +Hartington," he said, in his pleasant, clear-cut tones, "but as my +wife's way and mine are generally the same, I'm afraid I'm not likely +to inflict it." + +Mrs. Hartington looked down with an injured air, adding another to her +list of grievances against her dear friend and neighbor, Eleanor Van +Antwerp. + +"I should never go to a common fortune-teller, my dear," she observed +in a louder tone, for the benefit of the assembled company. "Yours was +probably just an ignorant person. But I did go to ----, who, you know, +charges a small fortune, and he told me the most extraordinary things. +I have perfect confidence in him; every one I know thinks him quite +infallible." + +"Do they?" said Paul Halleck, suddenly turning from the piano. He +shrugged his shoulders. "I devoutly hope you are mistaken," he said. +"---- read my hand in Paris, and told me some very unpleasant things; +among others that I was probably destined to a violent death. This +year of my life, by the way--the twenty-seventh--was to be my fatal +year." + +He spoke half laughingly, but the words produced an effect. There was +a general exclamation of horror, and Elizabeth, who was pouring tea, +dropped the cup that she held in her hand. Julian Gerard, who was +standing behind her, bent down to recover the fragments. + +"It's odd," he said, as he placed them absently on the table, "his +year of danger and yours seem to correspond." The words rose +involuntarily to his lips, and an instant later he wished them +unspoken. + +She flushed a little, then grew pale. "Oh, I'm sorry you remembered +that nonsense," she said. "I don't really believe in these things." +But her hand trembled as she poured out the tea, glancing furtively at +Halleck as she did so. + +He was enjoying the sensation that his announcement had created. +"Yes," he was saying, "if I live to be a year older, I am safe; but +till then--Heaven knows what danger threatens me!" He shrugged his +shoulders with a light laugh. The prediction did not seem to trouble +him greatly. Elizabeth wondered if he had not invented it, for the +sake of the effect. And then, involuntarily, the thought crossed her +mind--what if it were really true, and the prediction were fulfilled? +Such things had been known to happen--there might be something in +it.... Quick as lightning the thought flashed through her mind of all +that his death might mean to her--the merciful release, the solution +of all difficulties.... Just for a moment the idea lingered, while the +others talked, and she shuddered. + +"You are quite pale," said Gerard, fixing his eyes upon her. He was +still sensitive to any sign of feeling which Halleck seemed to arouse +in her. "I believe you are really superstitious. These things seem to +frighten you." + +"Am I superstitious?" She looked up at him dreamily. "Perhaps I am. It +would be nice, I think, if there were something in it, if one could +tell what is going to happen. One could act accordingly. I should +like, for instance"--her voice sank--"I should like to look into the +future one year, and see what fate has in store for me." + +"If I had any control over fate"--Gerard crushed back the impetuous +words that followed. Not yet--the moment was not propitious. Besides, +he was not sure of her. There was still at times something in her +manner that was baffling, uncertain.--And just then Paul Halleck +sauntered up and bent over her in that intimate manner which still +annoyed Gerard's fastidious taste, even though he had long since +convinced himself that he had no cause to fear him as a rival. + +"Did you hear ----'s terrible prediction, Miss Van Vorst?" Paul asked, +smiling, "and aren't you sorry for my untimely fate?" + + + + +_Chapter XXIII_ + + +"Why will you never play for me?" + +Gerard stood leaning on the piano, his eyes half smiling, yet with a +look of mastery, fixed upon Elizabeth. She was sitting in a low chair +by the fire, the book on her lap which she had been reading when he +came in. It was a stormy March afternoon, and the dusk was closing in +prematurely. The room was already in shadow, except where the +firelight formed a little circle of radiance, illumining Elizabeth's +face and hair. Seated thus in the full glow of light, with the shadows +in the foreground, all the little details of her appearance--the broad +sweep of rippling hair on her forehead, the soft laces at her throat, +the pale, dull green of her gown, even to the buckle on her slipper, +and the one white rose in her belt--each trifling part of the +harmonious whole, impressed itself on his memory, haunting him +afterwards with a keen sense of pain. + +She looked up at him now from under her long lashes, with the old +light in her eyes, half defiant, half tantalizing--that spirit of +revolt which still glanced forth at times to baffle and disturb him. + +"I don't want to play this afternoon. I don't--feel in the mood." + +"You are never in the mood when I ask you." Silence. "Confess at +once," said Gerard, with some heat--"for it would really be quite as +civil--that you don't wish to play for me." + +Another swift upward glance. "Perhaps I don't"--demurely.--"You're too +severe a critic." + +"You know," said Gerard, "that that is not the reason." + +Silence again. "Will you tell me the reason?" he asked. + +She answered him this time with a flash of defiance. "I don't know," +she said, "what right you have to demand it. But if you insist upon +it, I'll tell you. You--you don't like my playing, and--it's very +absurd, of course, but I never can play for people who don't." + +"I--don't like your playing?" He shielded his eyes for a moment, as if +from the glare of the fire. When he spoke again his tone was +peremptory. "You foolish child," he said, "come and play for me, and +I'll tell you, afterwards, what I think of it." + +She looked up at him--startled, rebellious, met his eyes for a moment, +then rose, pouting, like the child that he called her, constrained +against her will, put down her book, and moved slowly toward the +piano. "You are so terribly determined," she complained. + +"And you are so terribly perverse! But when I want a thing very much, +I can be determined, as you say. Play me the Fire-music," he went on, +"and--and 'Tristan and Isolde,' as you did--do you remember?--the +first night I met you." + +She paused, with her hands on the keys. "I--I thought,"--she began, +and then broke off suddenly, and began to play as he bade her--at +first faltering, uncertainly, with a strange hesitation; then more +firmly, as the keys responded with the old readiness to her touch, and +she lost herself in the music. Outside the storm increased, the rain +beat against the windows, the room grew dark, and once Elizabeth +paused--she could hardly see the keys. But Gerard murmured, "Ah, the +love-music!" and she played on. All the terrible distress, the +maddening perplexity, of the last few months seemed to express +themselves, in spite of herself, in those surging, strenuous chords; +all the hope, too, and the wild unreasoning happiness. She was +startled, almost as if she were telling the whole story in language so +eloquent that he must surely understand it without further words. But +Gerard, as was natural, read into it only his own feelings. He stood +leaning on the piano, his hand shielding his eyes, which were fixed +intently upon her.--It was so dark now that he could hardly see her +face, only the shimmer of her hair standing out against the dusk, the +movement of her white hands on the keys. + +She faltered at last, struck a false chord, and broke off in the very +midst of the love-music. "I--I can't see," she murmured, and let her +hands fall in her lap. + +"Do you remember," Gerard said, "that first night you played? I had +talked to you at dinner, you know, you--you repelled me a little. I +thought--I am telling you the bare truth, you see--you were a little +cynical, a little hard--it seemed a pity when you were so"--he paused +for a moment and his voice softened as he lingered over the word--"so +beautiful. I couldn't understand you. I thought--I wouldn't try. It +wasn't worth while--most things were not. And then--you played"--He +paused again for a moment. "You know what most girls' playing is like. +Yours has a soul, a fire--I don't know where you get it. It moved me, +set me thinking, as no other woman's playing has done for years." + +He paused again. Elizabeth looked up quickly. "I thought," she +murmured, "that you didn't like my playing, that you were bored"-- + +"Ah, you thought," he said, "that when a man feels very much, he can +make pretty speeches? I can't, at least. Oh, I've no doubt"--he made a +resigned gesture--"I've no doubt that I behaved like a brute. Women +have told me that I generally do. I said to myself--that girl is +dangerous, she could make a man fall in love with her--even against +his will. I was in love once--but that's another story. I never wanted +to repeat the experiment. And so, as you know, I avoided you; like a +fool, I used to go and look at your picture, and then--keep away from +you, evening after evening. I struggled--with all the strength I +have--I struggled not to love you. And then, as you know"--he looked +her straight in the eyes--"as you have known well these last few +weeks,--I failed." + +There was silence for a moment. She was very white, her hands were +tightly clasped in her lap. "I"--she gave a little shuddering +sigh--"it would have been better if you hadn't." + +"Elizabeth!" She felt rather than saw how his face changed. +"Elizabeth," he said, hoarsely, "do you mean that? Then"--as she sat +silent--"you don't love me?" + +Oh, for the strength to answer "No," and end this scene--this useless, +perplexing scene, which she should have been prepared for, which yet +seemed to have come upon her unawares! One firm, courageous "No," and +a man like Gerard would not ask her twice. Instead, a compromise, +useless, feeble, hovered on her lips. "I--shouldn't make you happy," +she faltered out, despising her own weakness. + +"Is that all?" He laughed out loud in sheer relief. "My darling,"--the +triumphant tenderness in his voice was hard to bear--"don't you think +that I can judge of that?" + +She was silent, and he drew nearer to her and took her hands in his. +"You needn't be afraid," he said. "I shall worship the ground you +tread upon, if--if you will only consent. You will, Elizabeth, won't +you?" She had not known before that his voice held tones so +caressingly gentle. + +For a moment she sat motionless, passive beneath his touch, and then +suddenly: "I can't," she broke out, hoarsely, drew her hands away from +him, and going over to the mantel-piece, she leaned her arms upon it +and hid her face. + +When he spoke again, after a long silence, his voice was entirely +changed. "There is something here I don't understand," he said, +coldly. "One moment you seemed to yield, and the next"----He made a +step towards her. "Tell me the truth," he entreated, "don't spare my +feelings. It's a false kindness. You love someone else--is that +it?--then tell me so, and I won't reproach you--or--trouble you +again." + +She turned her face towards him. It was white, quivering with emotion; +but she answered firmly: "No, you are entirely wrong. There is--no one +else." + +"Not Halleck?" he asked, watching her intently, his face dark with the +old distrust. + +She made a quick, involuntary gesture of repulsion. "Not he--not he, +of all people," she said, bitterly. + +He still eyed her doubtfully, unsatisfied. "You are sure?" he +insisted. "You are telling me the whole truth? Don't deceive me--now, +Elizabeth; I could forgive anything but that." + +How many chances were given to Elizabeth, only to be thrown away! She +answered him steadily; "I'm not deceiving you. I tell you frankly that +when I first met Paul Halleck I thought I cared for him--he was the +first man I had ever known; but now he is nothing to me, and I have +told him so--I think I almost dislike him." There was no mistaking the +accent of sincerity in her voice. It was fortunate for Elizabeth, +since she was no adept in lying, that the truth and the falsehood were +in this case so nearly identical. + +Gerard was satisfied. + +"Then what," he urged, eagerly--"if there is no one else--what stands +between us?" + +She hesitated. There were voices in the hall, some visitors requesting +admission, the butler parleying a little--the discreet, intelligent +butler, who had so considerately refrained, for the last quarter of an +hour, from coming in to light the gas. + +Gerard was too absorbed to notice anything outside of the cause he was +pleading. "Tell me," he repeated, his eyes fixed intently upon her +face, "what stands between us?" + +She put out her hand with a deprecating gesture. That threatening +interruption seemed to give her courage. She was quite herself again. +"Can't a woman hesitate for no definite reason?" she asked. "You, +yourself--didn't you hesitate--for reasons that I must confess seem to +me rather vague and--not very complimentary." + +The argument struck home. He changed color. "Don't cast that up +against me, Elizabeth," he pleaded. "It's not worthy of you. I told +you the plain truth, badly as it sounds, because it seemed due to +you--I wanted you to know the worst. And you must remember that I had +no reason to suppose that you cared, or would ever care, anything +about me. It was only I who suffered when I kept away from you. But +you--now that you know how--how madly I love you--don't trifle with +me--be generous--give me a definite answer?" + +"But I--I can't," she returned, in her old wilful way, "just on the +spur of the moment, like this. I don't want to marry any one--not just +now, at least. I--I like my freedom"---- + +The words died away on her lips. She broke off suddenly, turning very +pale, as the importunate visitor, whom the butler had vainly +endeavored to show into another room, drew aside the portière and +entered brusquely. It was Paul Halleck. He had a strangely excited +look, which increased as he surveyed the two people on the hearth-rug, +whom he had evidently interrupted at a critical moment. + +To one of them, at least, his entrance was most unwelcome. Not all of +Gerard's carefully cultivated self-control could avail to hide his +annoyance; he uttered under his breath an angry exclamation, and going +over to the piano, stood moodily turning over sheets of music. +Elizabeth, to whom Paul's appearance was for some reasons still more +disconcerting, showed greater self-possession. She held out her hand +coldly, but composedly, with a few mechanical words, to which he +barely responded. There was an embarrassing pause, broken by the +butler, who made his belated, majestic entry, lighted the chandeliers +and drew the curtains. The effect of the illumination was startling, +as it threw into strong relief the look of agitation on each of their +faces. + +"It--it's storming still, isn't it?" said Elizabeth, and then +remembered that she had asked the same question already. Gerard +started up and reflecting gloomily that it was of no use to try to +"stay that fellow out," he took his leave. Paul and Elizabeth were +left alone. + +His presence seemed a matter of absolute indifference to Elizabeth, +who sank again into the low chair by the fire, and picking up the book +she had laid down, turned over its pages with an air of icy unconcern. +He came and stood beside her, leaning against the mantel-piece, a look +of brutality on his handsome face. + +"So," he said. "I've driven Gerard away. A case of 'two is company,' +evidently." + +Her expression did not change. "Oh, he had been here some time," she +said, coldly. "No doubt he meant to leave in any case." + +"Oh, no doubt." He sneered angrily. "Do you know what I heard to-day?" +he went on. "I heard that you were engaged to him." + +She flushed a little. "Did you?" she said, and then, quietly: "But +that means nothing, you know." + +"But you are together all the time. I can't come to the house without +meeting him. You encourage him, accept his flowers, lead him +on.--Pray, how long is this sort of thing going to last?" + +They eyed each other for a moment, he flushed with anger, she cold and +hard. "You have no right," she said, icily, "to ask an account of my +actions." + +"No right!" he repeated, as if thunder-struck. "I should like to know +who has a better." + +"No right that I acknowledge, at least," she amended her first +sentence. + +He paced up and down the room, struggling for self-control. "Whether +you acknowledge it or not, is immaterial," he said, stopping suddenly +in front of her. "I claim it, and that is enough. You must give up +this infernal flirtation with Gerard, or"---- + +"Or what?" she insisted haughtily, as he paused. + +"I shall go to Gerard at once and tell him the truth," he concluded, +defiantly. + +Dead silence. The book she held fell from Elizabeth's nerveless hand. +The steady ticking of the clock in the stillness seemed to beat an +accompaniment to these words: "Don't deceive me--now, Elizabeth; I +could forgive anything but that." + +"Paul?" Her voice was no longer icy, but soft, with caressing tones. +"Paul, you wouldn't be so unkind?" + +"What difference does it make to you?" he said, eyeing her keenly, +"whether I tell Gerard or not? You can't marry him, you know--it's +impossible." + +"I don't want to marry him," she said, gathering all her powers of +resistance, "but--he's a friend of mine. I don't want him to be told +things about me by--an outsider." + +"Ah, you call me that!" he said, his anger roused again. "Well, +outsider or not, I hold the cards. I shall go to Gerard at once and +tell him that we were married--at Cranston, last July. If he doubts +my assertion, the record is there, and it won't be very hard for him +to verify it." + +Silence again. Elizabeth sat musing, her brows knit, her under lip +slightly thrust out, in a fashion that seemed to express all the +obstinate resolve of her nature. "I will do as you wish, if you will +keep silent." + +"Will you write a note to Gerard," Paul demanded, "sending him away?" + +"No," she said, sullenly. "I won't do that." + +"Then there is nothing else you can do," he declared. + +Elizabeth mused again. "I would give--money," she said. The last word +was spoken very low. + +He started and flushed. "Do you want to bribe me?" he asked, angrily. + +She shrugged her shoulders. "I am quite aware that you will not do +anything for nothing," she said. + +Paul fell again to pacing up and down the room. His face showed traces +of a mental struggle. Elizabeth watched him from the corners of her +eyes; she saw that her offer tempted him more than she had dared to +hope. + +He stopped at last in front of her. "How much can you spare?" he +asked, in a voice in which a certain bravado strove to gain the +mastery over inward uneasiness and shame. "The truth is, I am most +confoundedly hard up just now, what with furnishing the studio and +everything, and if you could help me a little, it would be very +convenient. I can pay you back later with interest a hundred times." + +"I have told you," she said, coldly, "what payment I want." + +He shrugged his shoulders, with an attempt at nonchalance. "Oh, as to +that, I never really intended to tell Gerard." Elizabeth's lip curled. + +"How much money do you want?" she asked, curtly. "A hundred? Two +hundred?" Her ideas on such matters were vague. Paul's face fell. + +"I should need five hundred at least, if--if it is to be of any use," +he said, gloomily. + +It was more than she expected, but she showed no signs of flinching. +"Five hundred, then," she said, rising as if to conclude the +interview. "Will it do, if I let you have it to-morrow?" + +"Perfectly. Elizabeth, you are an angel. I can't thank you enough." He +advanced towards her with outstretched arms, but with a gesture of +repulsion she waved him aside. + +"Don't thank me," she said, coldly. "This is a bargain for our mutual +advantage. I will fulfil my share of it if you remember yours. And +now, as we have nothing more to discuss, I think I will ask you to +excuse me." She made him a stately inclination, picked up her book and +sailed from the room in undiminished dignity and apparent unconcern. + +But when she was alone and had locked herself into her room to think +over her misery, then, indeed, the situation stared her in the face in +its true colors. Her own words, "I like my freedom," rang mockingly +in her ears. She was not free, but a slave; slave of a man who had her +in his power, and would use it, as time went on, more and more +unscrupulously. This time it was five hundred that he demanded; next +time it would be a thousand. What could she do? Somehow or another, he +must be satisfied. Anything was better, any sacrifice, any +humiliation, than to allow him to go to Gerard with that bare +statement of facts, "We were married at Cranston, last July!" The +truth, devoid of any of the softening evasions by which she cloaked it +to her own mind; the redeeming circumstances which excused, if they +did not justify, her silence. + +Her bitterest enemy must admit that the position was a hard one. A +contract entered into hastily by a thoughtless girl, on the impulse of +the moment; a quarter of an hour in an empty church one summer day; a +few words spoken before a sleepy old clergyman and indifferent +witnesses--could such things as these have power to ruin one's whole +life? No, no--her heart cried out wildly to the contrary. The whole +episode seemed, in the retrospect, so dream-like. It was easy to +imagine that it had never happened. And yet, had she the courage to +ignore it?... And, even if she had, there was always Paul to remind +her of it, who would not give her up without a terrible struggle, that +must, without fail, come to Gerard's ears. + +There was only one hope that she could see, and that was wild and +irrational; the hope Paul had himself suggested. If that prediction +could be fulfilled! Elizabeth shuddered. It was terrible to think of +such a thing; terrible to obtain one's own happiness at the cost of +another person's life. She did not really wish Paul dead--that would +be wicked. And yet--and yet--the thought pressed irresistibly upon +her--if it had to be!--if it had to be! What a blessed relief--what an +end to all this misery! "Oh, I do wish it, I do wish it!" she broke +out, speaking aloud, unconsciously. "I would give anything in this +world to hear of his death." + +She stopped, startled at the sound of her own voice. The wish shocked +her, even in the moment of expressing it. Her wishes were so often +fulfilled--she had an almost superstitious faith in their efficacy. If +this one were fulfilled, what then?--For a moment she, thinking it +over, balanced possibilities; and then with a stifled cry, fell on her +knees and hid her face in her hands. + +"Oh, I'm growing so wicked," she sobbed out. "It's because I'm so +miserable. Only let me have what I want, and I'll be different; I'll +be the kind of woman that he admires; only--I must find a way, I must +have what I want--_first_." + + + + +_Chapter XXIV_ + + +The next day dawned clear and bright; a beautiful morning in early +spring after a night of storm. Upon Elizabeth's spirits as she dressed +the weather produced the illogical effect that it does upon most of +us. Reviewed by daylight, the situation seemed to her many degrees +less desperate. The night before, there had seemed to her only one way +out, and that a tragical one; but now there were--there must be--a +hundred ways, if only she could gain the time to think of them. + +The first thing was to obtain the money; but this in itself was no +easy matter. She had promised it to Paul as if it were a mere trifle; +yet, as a matter of fact, she was as badly off herself at the time as +was to be expected of a young woman who had gone out a great deal, and +established and lived up to an expensive reputation for being always +well and appropriately gowned. + +She reviewed her resources. Mrs. Bobby would have lent her the money +at once and asked no questions; but from this course Elizabeth's pride +shrank uncontrollably. She preferred to take a sum she had just laid +aside to satisfy to some extent the claims of a long-suffering and +complaisant dressmaker; but even with this sacrifice determined on, +she was still far short of the amount required. She took out, in +desperation, her various jewels and trinkets, and looked them over, +wondering how much they were worth. There were many pretty things her +aunts had given her, none of them probably of any great intrinsic +value, and there were the beautiful gifts that Mrs. Bobby had showered +upon her; and, finally, there was the string of pearls which she +always wore about her neck, one of the few heirlooms which old Madam +Van Vorst had once kept under lock and key, and which her daughters +had of course made over to Elizabeth. The girl stood now hesitating +with the pearls in her hand. She had worn them to every ball that +winter, she was wont to say, with her half-joking, half-real touch of +superstition, that they brought her luck; as if, with their +possession, something of the spirit of that proud beauty of a by-gone +day had entered into her, enabling her to conquer the world in which +the older woman had been naturally at home. Would the power leave her +with the pearls? The fantastic thought lingered for a moment, and then +impatiently she thrust it aside, and put the precious heirloom in with +the rest of her possessions, which she had resolved to sacrifice. It +was not a moment when she could afford to dally with sentiment. + +Yet what a strange, disreputable proceeding it seemed! She was haunted +with a vague sense of losing caste, as she took her trinkets to one of +the smaller jewelry-shops, and faltered out her improbable tale of +their being unbecoming and of no use to her. The jeweler, well used to +the straits of fashionable young women, listened without a smile, and +offered her on the whole a fair price, though it was much less than +she expected. There was nothing that she was not obliged to part +with--from the jeweled watch which Mrs. Bobby had given her at +Christmas, to the pearls, which proved to be the most valuable of all. +When she left the shop she had deprived herself of all her ornaments, +but she held the necessary bribe in her hand, and as the simplest way +of conveying it to Halleck, she got on a cable car and went up at once +to his studio at Carnegie. There was nothing startling in the +proceeding, for he had now a number of pupils, who came to him at his +studio; and though the girls whom Elizabeth knew always brought their +maids, or a chaperone of some sort, she was not in the mood to waste +much thought on conventionalities. Her one idea was to fulfil her +share of the bargain before he should, perchance, have repented of +his, and she did not think of the chance of meeting any one. Her own +affairs had reached a crisis which blinded her to the fact that to +other people, the world was progressing peacefully, in the usual order +of events. + +This dream-like state of indifference to all but the one anxiety +continued till she reached Carnegie and was borne up in the elevator +to Paul's studio, which was directly opposite to Mr. D'Hauteville's. +And here, for the first time, she paused, seized by a sudden panic. +From behind the closed curtain at the end of the small vestibule, +there came the sound of a woman's voice, strained, nasal, raised high +in what seemed a tirade of denunciation. To Elizabeth's mind, as she +heard it, there arose an involuntary recollection of Bassett Mills, +and of the gaudy little parlor behind her aunt's shop, and some bitter +words directed against herself, in what seemed a past period of her +history. She stood hesitating, terrified; then the curtain was pushed +aside, and a woman came out. It was her cousin Amanda. Her face was +white and set, her eyes blazing. She stared at Elizabeth for a moment +as if dazed, then brushed past her without a word. + +Paul stood on the threshold, a picturesque object in his velveteen +coat and turned-down collar, against the artistic background of the +luxuriously-furnished studio. He looked flushed, annoyed; the scene +which had just taken place had evidently been a trying one. But when +he saw Elizabeth standing doubtful in the hall, his face cleared and +he came forward to greet her with effusion. + +"Darling, how good of you to come here!" He evidently hailed the visit +as an overture towards reconciliation. She hastened to disabuse him. + +"It was the easiest way to bring this," she said, handing him the +package which she had clasped nervously all the way up. "Will you be +kind enough, please, to count it and see if it is all right?" It was +impossible to speak with more icy brevity, or to impart to any +proceeding a more severely business-like air. + +He flushed uncomfortably, but did not allow his vexation to interfere +with the evident necessity of counting the money. "It is all right," +he said, biting his lips, as he put down the last roll of bills. "Do +you wish me to give you a receipt?" he asked, with fine sarcasm. + +"No," said Elizabeth, gravely. "I rely on your word." + +Paul bowed. "Thank you," he said. "And now--is there anything else I +can do for you?" + +"Nothing," said Elizabeth, briefly, "except what you know already. And +now, I must go." She moved towards the door, but he placed himself in +her way. + +"Come, come, Elizabeth," he said. "I'm not going to let you go like +that--the first time you make me a visit. Give me a kiss now, just to +show that you don't bear malice." + +Elizabeth's only reply was a look of ineffable haughtiness. "Will you +let me pass, please?" she said, in a low tone of concentrated wrath, +and with an uneasy laugh, he obeyed her. + +"What a virago you are!" he said, "almost as bad as your cousin +Amanda. It must be the hair," he added, with a sneer, but Elizabeth +did not pause to reply. Anxious only to escape, she closed the studio +door hastily behind her, and a moment later the elevator bore her +swiftly down, and she regained the street, with the feeling of having +staved off misfortune, for the moment at least. + +She found, when she got home, a note from Gerard, informing her that +he had been unexpectedly called out of town for a few days on +business, but hoped to see her on his return. There were the flowers, +too, which he sent her daily. He had no intention, evidently, of +taking her answer of the day before as final. She realized this, with +a thrill that held in it more of pleasure than alarm. Still, she was +glad that he was out of town. His absence was a reprieve, giving her +more of the time she wanted, though it is hard to say what she +expected to gain by it. But very little often sufficed to restore +Elizabeth's spirits. She was going out to dinner that evening, and she +dressed for it with a mind that was comparatively at ease. + +But poor Elizabeth's moments of tranquillity just then were short. She +was nearly dressed when Celeste entered with the information that a +young person had called to see Mademoiselle, who insisted upon seeing +her at once. "I told her that Mademoiselle is dressing," said the +maid, with expressive gestures; "that she has an engagement, it is +most important, but--but she is a most determined young person, she +insists that I bring up a message at once." + +"It is Amanda, of course," thought Elizabeth, with a terrible sinking +of the heart. She had forgotten, until that moment, the meeting in the +studio. She glanced at the clock. "I have fifteen minutes, Celeste," +she said. "Show her up. She may want to see me about something +important." The maid departed, and Elizabeth bent down nervously to +sort out gloves and handkerchief, wondering as she did now at each +unexpected incident, what danger it might portend. + +"I thought," said Amanda, "I might come up--seeing we're first +cousins." She stood in the door-way, her eyes roaming about the room, +taking in every detail--the soft prevailing harmonies of pale blue and +rose, the firelight flickering on the tiled hearth, the shining silver +ornaments on the dressing-table, the profusion of bric-à-brac, of +cotillion favors, the roses in the china bowl, the general air of +luxury--all a fit setting to the proud young beauty, standing before +the mirror in her shimmering white satin and laces. + +"My, but you look fine!" said Amanda, under her breath. A slightly +awed expression crossed her face, modifying the assurance of her +entrance. "You're going out?" she asked, looking almost ready to +retreat. + +"To dinner--yes; but not just yet. Won't you sit down, Amanda?" +Elizabeth said, trying to speak easily. "I--I'm glad to see you. How +is Aunt Rebecca, and--every one at Bassett Mills?" + +Amanda sat down, her eyes still wandering eagerly around the room. +Elizabeth, looking at her, saw the unfavorable change that a few +months had made. True, she was smartly dressed, with the cheap, tawdry +smartness that can be bought ready-made at the shops, and her hat was +tilted carefully at the fashionable angle; her hair, growing low about +her forehead, had still the pretty, natural wave to it, which was a +legacy from the fever, and the general effect at a first glance was +striking. But the face, under the jaunty, be-feathered hat, was white +and haggard, the eyes had a wild restless look, there were hard, +vindictive lines about the mouth. Her hands moved incessantly, +plucking at the fringe on her gown. + +"Glad? Well, I guess you're not very glad to see me," she said, with a +strange, mocking smile, ignoring the latter part of Elizabeth's +speech. "There never was much love lost between us, and now--but still +I thought I'd pay you a visit. I'm staying with Uncle Ben's folks, and +they told me I ought to look up my swell cousin--since you were so +sure to want to see me"--she gave a short, jarring laugh. "That +stuck-up maid wouldn't believe me--thought I was crazy, when I said we +were first cousins. I don't see why--I'm sure I don't look so--so +different as all that." Her voice sank into rather a wistful key, and +she stole a glance at the long pier-glass that stood opposite her. "I +got my suit at a bargain sale," she said. "The girls said it was--real +stylish." + +"It's very pretty," said Elizabeth, gently. She glanced at Amanda with +a sudden pity that overpowered her first annoyance and alarm at the +inopportune visit. What had brought her to town? Some vague, +irrational hope of winning back Paul's admiration, perhaps, with this +gown that was "real stylish," and the new hat, and the general, tawdry +attempt at smartness. It was that, probably, which had taken her to +the studio, and no doubt Paul had been disgusted with this attempt to +revive an old flirtation, and in his irritation, had convinced her +somewhat rudely of his indifference. Poor Amanda! Really she had not +seemed quite right in the head since the fever. + +"Were you surprised to see me this morning?" said Amanda, watching her +and seeming to read her thoughts. "I went to call on another old +friend, and--I wasn't welcome"--she gave another jarring laugh, which +ended this time in a sob. "He--he didn't seem glad to see me, +considering how well he used to know me--once." Her voice broke +piteously, she paused for a moment, and then: "I hate him, I hate +him!" she broke out, fiercely. "I'd give anything in this world if I'd +never known him." + +"So would I," said Elizabeth, low and bitterly, and then stopped, +frightened at what she had said. But Amanda showed no surprise. + +"Ah, you think that now," she said, slowly, "but you didn't use to. +You've got so many rich beaux now that you don't care about him any +longer. But I wonder what they'd think--these rich beaux of yours--if +they knew how wild you used to be about him, how you went wandering +about the country with him, if they knew"--Amanda leaned forward and +spoke in an impressive whisper--"if they knew that you have to do what +he wants now, that you're afraid of him." + +There was a silence. Elizabeth, faint and giddy, sank into the nearest +chair, and put up involuntarily her hand to her heart. So here was +another danger threatening, another person who knew something--everything, +perhaps? Her brain reeled. Amanda leaned back in her chair, watching +her triumphantly, a hard, bright glitter in her eyes. + +"Amanda!" Elizabeth's white lips tried in vain to frame a coherent +question. "Amanda,"--she made another attempt--"what do you mean?" + +Amanda smiled contemptuously. "Oh, you know well enough what I mean," +she said. "Why did you go there this morning when you don't care for +him any more, and are sorry you ever knew him, unless you're afraid of +him, and have to do what he wants?" + +"Oh, is that all?" Elizabeth drew a long sigh of relief. "I went there +this morning because--because I wanted to meet a friend"--she broke +off in confusion before the look on Amanda's face. Then, with a sudden +reaction of feeling, she raised her head haughtily. "It doesn't +matter," she said, "_what_ I went there for. It's a--a studio; all his +pupils go there. I might have wanted to see him about singing-lessons, +about anything.--If that is all you base your suspicions on, +Amanda"----She stopped. + +"Ah, but if it isn't?" said Amanda, in her impressive whisper, which +seemed fraught with a mysterious consciousness of power. + +Another silence. The defiant look on Elizabeth's face faded; she +leaned back in her chair and half closed her eyes. Ah, she was weary, +deathly weary, of these constant nervous shocks. How much did Amanda +know--how much? If she could only be sure! + +"I think they'd be rather surprised," Amanda went on, in unnaturally +quiet tones, "these swell friends of yours, if they knew all about +you. They think you very sweet, they give you lots of things"--Amanda's +hard, restless eyes roamed again about the room and rested on +Elizabeth's beautiful gown. "It don't seem fair," she broke out, +suddenly, with a fierce little sob; "it don't seem fair, that you +should have so much--and then to be so pretty too, as well as all the +rest!" + +She was silent for a moment, struggling with the tears that threatened +to break forth, and Elizabeth began to breathe more freely. All this +bluster, after all, these vague threats, seemed to resolve themselves +into the old, unreasoning, powerless jealousy--nothing more. And with +the relief came again the sense of pity, of a certain justice in +Amanda's point of view. + +"It isn't fair," she said, softly. "I don't deserve it, but"---- + +"Well, fair or not, I guess it don't make much difference," Amanda +interrupted her, drearily, rising to her feet. "You've always had the +best of me, and probably, you always will. But, if ever you +don't"----She broke off suddenly and moved towards the door. "I guess +I'd better be going," she said. "You'll be late for your dinner. Only, +before you go"--she paused with her hand on the knob of the door, that +hard, mocking glitter in her eyes--"before you go, just put on some of +your jewelry, won't you? Seems to me you look sort of bare without +it." + +"My--my jewelry?" Elizabeth's heart, which had been beating more +quietly, suddenly stood still. "I--I don't wear jewelry, Amanda," she +said, in a dull, toneless voice. + +"What, not your pearls?" Amanda's hard, mocking eyes seemed to read +her through and through. "Your pearls you were so proud of in the +country, that you said you'd always wear. Seems to me you need +them--with that fine dress!" + +She stood hovering by the door, a weird figure in the exaggerated +smartness of her attire, with her white face framed in the deep red +hair, and that strange, uncanny smile gleaming across it, lighting it +up into an elf-like suggestion of mysterious power. Elizabeth stared +at her helplessly, fascinated; then, with a great effort, she roused +herself and hurried towards her. + +"Amanda!" she cried, desperately. "Amanda, for Heaven's sake, stop +these insinuations! Tell me plainly what you mean?" She gripped her +fiercely by the arm, her face was white and set. For a moment Amanda's +eyes met hers. Then, as if in spite of herself, they fell, she freed +herself sullenly from Elizabeth's grasp. + +"Well, I guess I didn't mean much," she said, awkwardly, "or if I did, +it don't matter. I wouldn't tell tales against--my first cousin"--She +turned the knob of the door, but again she paused, that weird smile +still flickering in her eyes. "Good-night," she said, "I hope you'll +enjoy your dinner. Too bad you haven't got your pearls." She gave one +last jarring laugh, opened the door and went out. + +Elizabeth, white and trembling, sank into the nearest chair. + +"How she frightened me!" she gasped out. "These constant shocks will +kill me. Does she know anything definite? Probably not. But what can I +do, how can I find out?--Ah, Celeste!"--as the maid appeared with an +anxious expression in the door-way. "The carriage is waiting? Very +well." She hurried to the dressing-table, caught up her gloves and +gave one hasty glance at her white face. "How ugly I am growing," she +thought, turning away with a shudder; "quite like Amanda! I see the +resemblance. It is this awful life. I wish--oh, how I wish I were +home!" The thought swept over her, thrilling her with an intense, +passionate longing for her aunts' presence, for the country quiet, for +rest and peace. + +"Yes, I will go home," she thought, as Celeste adjusted the cloak +about her shoulders and she hastened down to the carriage. "I will go +home," she repeated to herself at intervals during the evening, while +she talked and laughed with a restless light in her eyes and a +feverish flush on her cheeks. "The country will be so peaceful. I +shall be quite safe there, away from all this agitation, this trying +to keep up appearances. It is the best way out. How fortunate that he +is away! I won't see him again before I go." + +It was, she felt, an heroic resolution. Yes, she would go at once. And +she resolutely crushed back the thought: "He will follow." + + + + +_Chapter XXV_ + + +"The Van Antwerps have come up for the summer," said Miss Joanna, who +had made the same announcement, if you remember, not quite a year +before. "The butcher says they came last night. They never got here so +early before." + +Elizabeth, who was arranging flowers, looked up suddenly. "Yes, I +know," she said, quietly, "Eleanor wrote me." She left her roses half +arranged, and wandered restlessly over to the long French window. +Before her stretched the well-kept lawn, with its flower-beds and +rose-bushes and beyond, field and wooded upland, all clothed in their +newest, most vivid dress of green; further still the river, with the +white sails on its surface--that river from which, more than half a +century before, another Elizabeth Van Vorst had resolutely turned away +her eyes, refusing to be reminded of the life that she had given up. +But that woman of an older generation was made of sterner stuff, +perhaps, than her grand-daughter. And then there was not much travel +in those days, no daily mails, no guests coming up to neighboring +house-parties over Sunday.... "It will be nice for you, Elizabeth, to +have Mrs. Bobby," said Aunt Joanna, in her comfortable monotone, her +knitting-needles clicking peacefully. "You have found it a little +dull, you know, dear, since you came back." + +A little dull! Elizabeth could have laughed out loud at the words. A +little dull--with such exciting subjects to discuss as the new Easter +anthem, and the latest illness of the Rectory children; with such +diversions as a drive to Bassett Mills, a tea-party at the Courtenays! +... + +"If I am dull," she said, turning round presently with the ghost of a +smile "It certainly isn't the fault of the Neighborhood. I didn't tell +you that Mrs. Courtenay has asked me to tea--a third time. She says +'Frank will see me home--no need to send the carriage.'" She laughed a +little, not without a shade of bitterness. "Fancy Mrs. Courtenay +suggesting that--last summer!" + +"Well, dear, she means well, I suppose," said Miss Joanna, puzzled but +kindly. Miss Cornelia raised her head with a little, involuntary touch +of pride. + +"The Courtenays are--are really quite pushing, I think," she said, a +most unwonted tone of asperity in her voice. "I told Mrs. Courtenay, +Elizabeth, that you had been so _very gay_"--with emphasis--"you +really needed a complete rest." + +Elizabeth laughed. "And of course," she said "that only made her--dear +good woman!--all the more anxious to provide me with a little more +amusement. I never realized before how fond the girls have always been +of me. But then that's the case, apparently with the whole +Neighborhood. They always concealed their affection for me very +successfully--until this spring!" + +She paused, her aunts made no reply. She went over to the piano and +began absently turning over sheets of music. + +"Do you remember, auntie," she said, abruptly--Miss Joanna had left +the room in response to a summons from the maid, and Elizabeth and +Miss Cornelia were alone--"do you remember that I told you once that I +felt myself a sort of nondescript--neither flesh, fowl, nor good red +herring? But now I seem to be considered a very fine fowl indeed--the +ugly duckling, probably, that turned into a swan." + +"You never were an _ugly_ duckling, my dear," Miss Cornelia could not +help protesting, in spite of her principles. "It certainly wasn't +that." + +"Perhaps not," said Elizabeth, "at all events, I'm no better-looking +than I was--let us say, last year. I heard a woman at The Mills say +the other day that I had "gone off terrible," in my looks. But that +doesn't prevent Frank Courtenay from coming here day after day, boring +me to death, since he has discovered as his mother tells me, that I am +"just the style that he admires"--it doesn't prevent the Johnston +girls from going into raptures over my beautiful hair, and asking if I +mind their copying my lovely gowns. They _have_ copied my new spring +hat, if you notice. Oh, it would be amusing, if it wasn't--so very +petty!" She put out her hand with a weary, contemptuous gesture. "And +then the funny part of it all is that I am not really so nice, if they +only knew it, as I was last year, when they all treated me as if I +had committed some sort of crime, merely in existing." + +"My dear," remonstrated Miss Cornelia, "how can you talk like that? +I'm sure you're not a bit spoiled--every one says so." + +"Ah, they think so," said Elizabeth, quickly, "they think me nice, +because I've acquired a society manner, and say the correct thing, but +if they knew--everything"--she stopped suddenly and stood for a moment +staring steadily before her, with knit brows. "Do you know, Aunt +Cornelia," she said abruptly "what I think I am?--a sort of moral +nondescript, neither good nor bad. I see the right way--oh, I see it +so very plainly, and I want to take it; and then I choose the +wrong--always and inevitably I choose the wrong, and shall all my +life, until the end. It's not my fault, really--I can't do right, no +matter how hard I try." + +"My dear!" Miss Cornelia looked at her, puzzled and shocked. "There's +no one," she said, putting into trite words her own simple conviction +"there's no one, Elizabeth, who can't do right, if they try hard +enough." + +"Do you think so, auntie?" said Elizabeth, very gently. "Then probably +I don't try--hard enough." She went over to Miss Cornelia and kissed +her on the cheek. "If I were like you," she said, "I should." Then +without further words, she sat down at the piano and began to play, as +she did every day for hours at a time. Such restless, passionate, +brilliant playing! A vague uneasiness mingled in Miss Cornelia's mind +with her pride in the girl's talent, as she listened to it. Something +was troubling Elizabeth, evidently; something which had brought her +home so unexpectedly, which had changed her in looks and manner beyond +what could be accounted for by excitement and late hours. Yet innate +delicacy and timidity prevented Miss Cornelia from forcing in any way +the confidence which seemed to tremble, now and again, upon the girl's +lips. She had a vague idea that the difficulty, whatever it was, would +soon be decided one way or another, that the Van Antwerps' arrival, +which Elizabeth seemed at once to dread and look forward to, would +bring matters to a crisis, and the whole thing would be explained. + +Elizabeth was still playing when Mrs. Bobby interrupted her. That she +had not allowed a day to elapse before hastening to the Homestead was +a fact noted with jealous care by the Misses Courtenay, who met her at +the gate. + +"He is desperate." Mrs. Bobby's visit had not lasted many minutes +before she murmured this, holding Elizabeth's hand, and scanning +eagerly her averted face. At Mrs. Bobby's words it quivered, the color +flushed into her cheek; but otherwise she made no sign. + +"When you first went away," Mrs. Bobby continued, as no answer came, +"he was all for coming up here at once. He thought it a caprice, a +morbid, unaccountable whim; he was sure that if he could see you, +remonstrate with you--And then there was your letter, forbidding him +to come. He was beside himself! It was all I could do to keep him +from taking the first train up here. I said--Wait--it doesn't do, +always, to force a woman's will; give her a little time. At least she +has paid you the compliment, which she has paid to no one else +of--running away from your attentions." + +She paused, her eyes still eagerly fixed upon Elizabeth's face. The +color in the girl's cheek was now brilliant, her lips were parted; but +still she did not speak. + +"Day after day," said Mrs. Bobby, "we have talked it over--he walking +up and down, restless, wild; I trying to soothe him, urging him to be +patient--Sometimes he thinks that you are revenging yourself in this +way for his former neglect, that it is a little scheme to pay him +back--the idea drives him frantic, makes him furious with himself, yet +he is always encouraged when he thinks of it. And then again--he +thinks that you don't care for him, that you never will, that there is +some one else.... Ah, my dear, if you really do care, you are cruel, +unpardonably cruel, to torment him like this." + +Again she paused. Elizabeth, with a quick, impatient movement, dragged +her hand away from her grasp, and began to pace up and down, gasping +as if for breath. "Cruel," she cried out, "cruel! And you think it +gives me pleasure--to torment him!" + +"If it doesn't," said Mrs. Bobby, following her with her eyes and +speaking with some coldness, "I confess I am at a loss to account for +your behavior." + +Elizabeth stopped suddenly and bending down, almost buried her face +in the roses, whose fragrance she inhaled. + +"There never was a man," said Mrs. Bobby, "who loved a woman more than +he loves you, Elizabeth. And there isn't a man, who, I believe, +deserves a woman better." + +"Deserves her!" murmured Elizabeth, "deserves _me_! Oh, good Heavens!" +The exclamation was barely audible, and apparently addressed only to +the roses. + +"I said to him yesterday," said Mrs. Bobby, "'You'll come up Saturday, +of course?' But--he's proud now and hurt, Elizabeth--he said: 'I won't +come, I won't force myself upon her without--her knowledge and +consent. If she knows, if she's willing, why, then, I'll come--not +otherwise.'" + +There was a pause. Elizabeth turned presently a face which seemed to +reflect the glowing color of the roses over which she had bent. "What +do you--want me to do, Eleanor?" she asked, softly. + +"Tell me what I shall say," said Mrs. Bobby "in the letter which I +must write when I get home." She went over to Elizabeth and put her +hand on her arm. "Shall he come, or shall he not? It rests with you." + +Elizabeth's eyes were again averted. "It isn't for me, Eleanor," she +murmured, "to drive your guests away, if--if they really want to +come." + +And so Mrs. Bobby, when she got home, wrote her letter. It consisted +of only one word. + +The Saturday following was extremely warm. The Rector and his wife +came to take tea at the Homestead, and they all sat afterwards in the +dimly-lighted drawing-room. Elizabeth wandered to the long French +window, and stood looking out upon the moon-lit lawn. "It's so warm +that I think I shall go for a walk," she said, half aloud, but no one +heard her. The Rector was telling Miss Cornelia about the death of an +old clergyman in Cranston, who had lived alone with two old servants. +Elizabeth stood and listened for a moment to the deep, impressive +tones which mingled strangely with the comfortable monotone which the +Rector's wife was addressing to Miss Joanna. + +"And so," she was saying "you see I have had blue put on it again, +being more summery"-- + +"I feel particularly sorry," the Rector's voice broke in, "for the old +servants. They were quite prostrated, I fear, poor things! They too +have not long to live." + +"Black satin at four dollars a yard," said his wife, "is sure to last +forever." + +"He was an excellent man," said the Rector. "His death is a great +loss." But here Elizabeth, weary of listening, softly turned the knob +of the window and stepped out on the lawn. + +What a beautiful night it was outside! The long twilight was fading +into dusk, but the moon silvered the shadows that the trees cast +across the road. Elizabeth walked to the gate and stood leaning +against it. In the distance she heard distinctly the sound of a +horse's hoofs. It grew nearer and nearer, and in a few moments a man +on horseback was beside her, and drew his rein abruptly before this +figure in white, which stood like an apparition in his path. + +"Elizabeth," he said. "Elizabeth, is it you?" + +"Did you think it was my ghost?" she asked, with a soft laugh. Her +white gown shimmered in the moonlight, her hair framed in her face +with a vivid halo, her eyes shone like stars. Gerard sprang from his +horse. + +"Elizabeth," he said "were you waiting for me?" + +"Yes," she answered, "I was waiting for you." + +And the next moment he had her in his arms, and she had forgotten all +other thoughts, all other claims, beneath the fervor of his kisses. + + + + +_Chapter XXVI_ + + +The summer passed for an eventful one at Bassett Mills, being marked +by at least two subjects of conversation; the one the engagement of +Elizabeth Van Vorst of the Homestead "that girl of Malvina Jones," to +a gentleman from town, who was reported to be "rolling in wealth;" the +second, the illness of Amanda Jones, of that fashionable disease +called nervous prostration, which no other girl at Bassett Mills but +Amanda, who had always given herself airs, would have had the time or +the money to indulge in. She had been taken ill while visiting her +relations in New York, and her mother had gone up to nurse her, and +announced on her return that Amanda was "that nervous" the +doctor--"the best that could be had," as she observed with pride, had +recommended complete rest, and sending her to a sanitarium for a few +months. + +"But there really ain't much the matter with her," Amanda's mother +explained rather tartly to Elizabeth, who inquired for particulars as +to her cousin's illness. "She has fits of crying, and then of sitting +still and staring straight before her, like as if she was in a trance, +and then she'll get up, and walk up and down the room for hours, and +sometimes she'll notice you, and sometimes she won't--but dear me, +it's all nonsense, I say. If she had some hard work to do, it would be +better for her--but the doctor didn't seem to think so, and so I let +her go to the sanitarium. No one shall say that I grudge the expense, +as, thank Heaven! I don't have to, though there ain't another person +at The Mills that wouldn't." + +"I'm sure I hope it will do her good," Elizabeth said, kindly. She +felt so glad to have Amanda, whatever the reason, away from Bassett +Mills that she was conscious of a sudden pang of remorse, which +increased when she received a letter from her cousin, congratulating +her upon her engagement. It was a perfectly rational letter, with only +slight references to her illness, and none at all to that unpleasant +last interview in town; and Elizabeth answered the congratulations in +the same amicable spirit in which they were offered, reflecting that, +after all, much of Amanda's peculiarity must be excused on the ground +of her persistent ill-health. And yet, as she sealed and directed her +own letter, she breathed again a fervent thanksgiving that Amanda was +safely out of the way. + +There was another person for whose absence just then she felt devoutly +thankful. When her engagement was announced, early in July--against +her own wishes and in deference to Gerard's--she had received a +terrible letter from Halleck, denouncing her perfidy, and threatening +to come up at once. She had answered it as best she could, imploring +his silence, and enclosing a sum of money which she borrowed from her +aunts, on the plea of urgent bills--far from mythical, unfortunately, +but which remained unpaid. Whether or no Paul granted her request, he +pocketed the money, and she next heard of him as having gone abroad +for the summer. The piece of news, casually mentioned one day in the +course of conversation, thrilled her with a sense of overpowering +relief, a suggestion, against which she struggled in vain, of possible +accidents, of all the things that might reasonably happen to those who +travel by sea or land. Elizabeth breathed a devout wish--it might +almost be called a prayer--that this particular traveler might never +return. + +Meanwhile, the summer passed; a cool, delightful summer, rich with a +succession of fragrant, sunshiny days and long, balmy evenings; and +signalized by what for the Neighborhood was an unusual amount of +gaiety. Several entertainments were given in honor of Elizabeth's +engagement, among others a large dinner at the Van Antwerps'. And for +this Elizabeth wore--it was Gerard's fancy--the same white gown in +which he had first seen her, which he vowed that he cared for more +than all her other gowns put together. And though she had pouted a +little and declared that the others were far more smart, she yielded +to his wishes in this, as she did in most things. Yet during the +evening she noticed now and again his eyes fixed upon her with an odd, +doubtful expression, as one who searches his memory for the details of +a likeness, and finds inexplicably something lacking. + +"I know what it is," he announced, abruptly, when they had wandered +after dinner for a little while into the conservatory. "I was +wondering what it was I missed, and now I know. You haven't got on +your pearls. You wore them that night--in fact, I never saw you in +full dress without them." + +She flushed beneath his wondering gaze, reflecting how constantly he +had observed her, wishing--almost--that he had not observed her quite +so much. + +"Did you forget them?" he asked smiling, as she made no response, but +merely put up her hand to her white neck, as if just reminded of the +fact that it was unadorned. + +She plucked a rose from a plant near by, and began, nonchalantly, to +pull it to pieces. + +"Oh, I--I didn't feel in the mood to put them on," she said +carelessly. "I--somehow I think I shall _not_ be in the mood to wear +them again for a long while." + +He was watching her lazily, an amused smile gleaming in the depths of +his dark eyes. "What an odd, capricious child you are!" he said. +"You're all made up of moods. I never know what to expect next." + +She was picking the rose to pieces very deliberately, petal by petal, +her eyes cast down. "Yes, I'm all made up of moods," she echoed, +softly. "You must never be surprised at anything I do or say." + +"I'm not," he returned, smiling. "And yet," he went on, after a +moment, "I confess I'm a little surprised--and disappointed at this +last one. I was thinking, to tell the truth, as I had an idea you +valued those pearls particularly, of asking you to let me have them, +so that I could get you another string to match them exactly." + +The last petal of the rose fell from Elizabeth's hand, she stared up +at Gerard with an odd, frightened expression. "Don't," she broke out, +harshly. "I--I hate pearls." Then with a sudden change, as she saw the +absolute bewilderment in his face, she laid her hand gently on his +arm. "Dear," she said, very sweetly, "you must have patience with my +moods. I've got an idea, just now, that pearls are unlucky. It's very +silly, I know, but--don't argue with me. Bear with me, Julian, let me +have my own way--a little." + +They were alone in the conservatory. He put his arm around her and +pressed his lips to hers. "A little," he murmured. "Have your own +way--a little! Didn't I tell you, my darling, that you should have +your own way in everything?" + +She seemed to shrink away with an involuntary shiver at the words. +"Ah, but I don't want it," she protested. "It's the last thing I want. +If"--she freed herself from his hold and stood looking him, very +sweetly and steadily, in the face--"if we are married, Julian"-- + +"_If!_" he echoed, reproachfully. + +"It's always safer to say 'if'" she said. + +"Ah, but that's a suggestion I won't tolerate," he declared, firmly. +"I'll have my own way in that, if in nothing else. But, _when_ we are +married, Elizabeth"--he paused. + +"When we are married, then,"--she ceded the point resignedly, +blushing rosy red--"when we are married, Julian, it must be your way, +not mine. Yours is far better, wiser--yes"--she stopped his protest +with an imperious gesture--"I feel it, even though I try sometimes to +dispute it. I shall never do that--later. I shall try, with all the +strength I have, to be more worthy of your love. But now--just now, +Julian"--she looked at him anxiously, and a note of appeal crept into +her voice--"if I seem odd, wilful, don't blame me, don't--doubt me"-- + +"Doubt you?" He took her hand and raised it reverently to his lips. "I +shall never doubt you--again, my darling, no matter what you do or +say." + +There was the ring of absolute confidence in his voice. Yet it might +have been that which made her shiver and shrink away, almost as if he +had struck her a blow. + +"I--I think we had better go back to the others," she announced, +abruptly, in a moment, and her intonation was quick and sharp, almost +as if she were frightened and trying to escape from some threatened +danger. "It"--she smiled uncertainly--"it's not quite good form, I +think, for us to wander off like this." + +"Hang good form!" said Gerard, but still he followed her back +resignedly to the other room, and she gave, as they reached the lights +and the people, a soft sigh of relief, which fortunately he did not +hear. Yet he noticed that for the rest of the evening she was paler +than she had been at first. + +This pallor increased when Mrs. Bobby, too, voiced the question which +had been perplexing her all the evening, as to why she did not wear +the pearls. Elizabeth did not mention her moods--it is evident that +women cannot be put off, in such important questions as that of +jewelry, with the vague answers that might satisfy a man. She said +that the string had broken, and she had sent them to town to be +re-strung. Her aunts knew that they had been there for that purpose +since early spring, and they could not understand why she did not send +for them, since other things had been left at the same jeweler's--notably +that little jeweled watch, which they had heard of, but never seen. It +was odd that Elizabeth should have lost, to so large an extent, her +taste for pretty things. + +Gerard, too, noticed this, but he would not ask her any more +questions. Later he gave her a string of emeralds set with diamonds, +which she wore to entertainments in the Neighborhood that autumn, and +no one asked any more questions about the pearls, since it was natural +that she should prefer to wear his gift. + +His trust in her was absolute, as he had said. It seemed as if he +would make amends now by the plenitude of his confidence, for that +former instinctive, reasonless distrust. And then she was so different +from the frivolous girl he had first imagined her. Every day he +reproached himself with his old estimate of her character, as he +discovered in her new and unexpected depths of brain and soul. She +read all the books that he recommended--some of them very deep, and +she would once have thought very tiresome--and she surprised him by +the intelligence of her criticisms, she took a sympathetic interest in +those articles by which he was making a name for himself in the +scientific world, and she entered with an apparently perfect +comprehension into all his hopes, thoughts and aspirations. There was +only one thing in which she baffled him, one point where her old +wilfulness would come between them. This was her obstinate and +unaccountable refusal to name their wedding day. + +The Neighborhood was exercised on the subject. It had been decided by +unanimous consent that the wedding should be in the autumn--"quite the +best time for a wedding" as the Rector's wife observed, and lay awake +one whole night planning the most charming (and inexpensive) +decorations of autumn leaves and golden-rod. But all the reward she +received for her pains was the information that Elizabeth did not care +for autumn weddings, and as the Misses Van Vorst at Gerard's request, +had taken a small apartment in town for the winter, the Rector's wife +had many pangs at the thought that the Bassett Mills church and her +husband would lose all the prestige that would attend this great +event--to say nothing of the fee. + +But when Gerard, as a matter of course, spoke of their being married +in town, Elizabeth looked up deprecatingly into his face. + +"Wait till I'm twenty-one," she pleaded. "This is my unlucky year, you +know. Do please, Julian, wait till it's over." + +But Gerard's face was set in rigid lines, like that of a man who is +determined to stand no more trifling. Elizabeth's unlucky year would +not be past till April. + + + + +_Chapter XXVII_ + + +It was a bleak December day and Central Park seemed the last place +where one would wish to loiter. The sky hung lowering overhead, gray, +cold, heavy with the weight of invisible snowflakes. The wind made a +dull moaning sound, as it stirred the bare branches of the trees. The +lake, where at another season you see children sailing in the +swan-boats, was nearly covered with a thin coating of ice. But +Elizabeth Van Vorst as she stood with eyes intently fixed upon the +small space of water still visible, did not seem to notice either the +cold or the dreariness of the scene. She was leaning against a tree, +and looking at nothing but the lake, till at the sound of foot-steps +on the path, she turned to face Paul Halleck. + +"So you got my note," she said, speaking listlessly, without a sign of +surprise or satisfaction. She did not give him her hand, which clasped +the other tightly, in the warm shelter of her muff. + +"Yes, I got it; but I could wish you had chosen a warmer +meeting-place, my dear." The last months had changed him, and not for +the better. His figure had grown stouter, his beauty coarser. She +shrank away in invincible repugnance from the careless familiarity of +his manner. + +"It was the best place I could think of," she said, curtly. "At home, +we are always interrupted; at your studio--it is impossible. I had to +see you--somehow, somewhere." She sat down on a bench near by, and +shivering drew her furs about her. + +"You do me too much honor," Paul returned, lightly. He took the seat +beside her, his eyes resting, in involuntary fascination, on the +rounded outlines of her cheek, the soft waves of auburn hair beneath +her small black hat. "It's a long time since you have wished to see me +of your own accord, my dear," he said, in a tone in which resentment +struggled with his old, instinctive admiration of her beauty. + +She turned to him, suddenly, her eyes hard, her face very white and +set. "You know the reason." "I had to see you, to--to talk things +over. You assume a right to control me, you ask me for money, you try +to frighten me with threats. There must be an end of it. I"--she +paused for a moment, and drew her breath quickly, while she flushed a +dull crimson. "I have promised--Mr. Gerard," she said "to--to marry +him next month." + +He interrupted her with a scornful laugh. "To marry him--next month," +he repeated. "And how about that ceremony which we know of--you and +I--in the church at Cranston?" + +The crimson flush faded and left her white, but still she did not +flinch. "I have thought of that," she said, steadily, "and I have +decided that it should not--make any difference. I don't believe the +marriage would be legal--but that's neither here nor there. I don't +want a divorce, I don't want the thing known, I don't consider that we +were ever married. I don't think such a marriage as ours, which we +both entered into without the slightest thought, which we have +repented of"-- + +"Speak for yourself," he interposed. + +"Which I have repented of, then," she went on, "ought to be binding. +The clergyman who married us is dead; the witnesses, so old that they +are childish, probably remember nothing about it. There is no one now +living who remembers, except you and I. And for me I have determined +to think of it as a dream, and I want you to promise me to do the +same." + +"But--there is the notice in the parish register." He was staring at +her blankly, admiring in spite of himself, the calm resolution of her +manner, the business-like precision with which she was unfolding her +arguments, as if she had rehearsed them many times to herself. + +"I have thought of that, too," she said, in answer to his last +objection, "and I don't think it in the least likely that any one will +ever see it. Why should they, without any clue? At all events, this +is--the only way out." She faltered as her mind wandered for a moment +unwillingly to another way which she had now despaired of--too easy a +solution to her difficulties ever to come true. What a fool she had +been to think that he would die! People like that never die. As she +saw him now, in the full pride of his health and good looks, it +seemed impossible to believe that any misfortune could assail +him--least of all death! ... + +"There is--no other way," she repeated, with a little, involuntary +sob. "The risks are not great--but, at any rate, I must take them. +Now, there is only one other thing"--She paused for a moment and then +drew out of her purse a plain gold ring, and showed it to him. It was +the ring which she had once worn on her finger for a few minutes, +which she had kept carefully hidden ever since. She glanced about her; +there was no one in sight except the policeman, who in the distance +near the carriage-drive, was pacing up and down at his cold post and +beating his hands to keep them warm. Elizabeth rose and went to the +edge of the lake. With well-directed aim, she threw the tiny circlet +of gold so that it struck the fast-vanishing surface of water and +quickly disappeared. She drew a long sigh of relief. "There," she +said, "that is over." + +Paul watched her curiously. He saw that she attached to this little +action a mysterious significance. He sneered harshly. "Very pretty and +theatrical," he said. "But do you really think that by a thing like +that--throwing away a ring--you can dissolve a marriage?" + +She turned to him, her white face still resolute and intensely solemn. +"I don't know," she said, quietly, "but I wanted to throw it away +before you, so that you would understand that everything is over +between us, and that day at Cranston is as if it never had been. +_Never had been_, you understand," she repeated, with eager emphasis. +"I want you to promise to think of it like that." + +He shrugged his shoulders. "How we either of us think of it, I +suppose, doesn't make much difference so far as the legality of the +thing goes," he said. "But,--have your own way. If you choose to +commit a crime, it's not my affair." + +"A crime!" She started and stared at him. "Do you call that a crime?" + +He smiled. "It's a rough word to use for the actions of a charming +young girl," he said "but I'm afraid that the law might look at it in +that light." + +Elizabeth returned to the bench and sat down. She seemed to be +pondering this new view of the matter. "I can't help it," she said at +last, in a low voice. "If that's a crime, why--I understand how people +are led into them. And I can't ruin his happiness, crime or no crime." + +"And my happiness?" he asked her bitterly. "You never think of that? +You professed to love me once. You took me for better, for worse, and +how have you kept your word? If my life is ruined, the responsibility +is yours. If you had gone with me as I wanted you to, I should have +been a different man." There was a curious accent of sincerity in his +voice. He really believed for the moment what he said. + +The reproach was not without effect. She looked at him more gently, +with troubled eyes that seemed to express not only contrition, but a +certain involuntary sympathy. "It's true," she said. "I have treated +you badly, and broken the most solemn promise any one could make. I +don't defend myself; but--I'm willing to make what amends I can. I +can't give you myself, but at least I can give you what little money +you would have had with me. When I am married to"--she paused and +flushed, but concluded her sentence firmly--"to Mr. Gerard, I will +give you--all the money I have." + +Paul paced up and down, apparently in deep thought. It was evident +that her offer tempted him, yet some impulse urged him to refuse it. +He stopped suddenly in front of her. "Principal or interest, do you +mean?" he asked, in a tone in which the thirst for gain distinctly +predominated. + +The doubtful sympathy in Elizabeth's eyes faded, and was replaced by a +look of unmistakable disgust. "I suppose I could hardly give you the +principal," she said, coldly. "But I will pay over the income every +year." She named the sum. "Isn't it enough?" + +"That depends," he said, looking at her coolly. "It is enough, of +course, for Elizabeth Van Vorst, but for Mrs. Julian Gerard"-- + +He stopped as an electric shock of anger seemed to thrill Elizabeth +from head to foot. "You don't suppose," she cried, "that I would give +you _his_ money?" + +"Then," said Paul, curtly, "he doesn't know?" + +"Certainly not," she said, haughtily. + +He began again reflectively to pace up and down. "I don't see," he +said, "how you are to pay me over this money without his knowing it." + +"Don't trouble yourself about that," said Elizabeth, contemptuously. +"Mr. Gerard will never ask what I do with my money." + +"Well he has enough of his own, certainly," said Paul, +philosophically. "And yet, poor fellow, I am sorry for him if he ever +finds out how you have deceived him." + +"He never _shall_ find out," said Elizabeth. She rose and pulled down +her veil. "It is so cold," she said shivering, and indeed she looked +chilled to the core. "I cannot stay here any longer. This thing is +settled, isn't it? You will promise?" There was a tone of piteous +entreaty in her voice. + +"How am I to know," he asked, still hesitating "that you will keep +your word? Once married to Gerard, you might--forget." + +"If I do," she returned quietly, "you will always have the power to +break yours and ruin my happiness." + +"So be it, then. I won't interfere with you. After all, we probably +shouldn't have got on well. Come--let us part friends, at least." + +He held out his hand, but hers was again securely hidden in her muff, +and the smile that gleamed on her face was pale and cold as the winter +day itself. "Good-bye," she said, and turned away. He fell back, with +a muttered oath. + +"Upon my word, my lady," he said, "you might be a little more +gracious." At that moment Elizabeth came back. There was a softer look +on her face. + +"I loved you once," she said. "Good-bye." And she held out her hand. +He took it in silence. Thus they parted for the last time. + +It had been a successful interview. She had gained all that she dared +hope for. Seated in the warm car going home, and shivering as from an +ague, she told herself that she had silenced forever all opposition to +her wishes. Yet it did not seem a victory. Words which Paul had said +lingered in her mind, stinging her with their contempt, the fact that +even he could set himself above her. "A crime!" She had never +considered it in that light. Surely it was impossible on the face of +it that she, Elizabeth Van Vorst, could commit a crime.... And then +again--what was it he had said? "Poor fellow, I am sorry for him, if +ever he finds out how you have deceived him." + +"But he never shall," she said to herself, resolutely as before. +"Crime or no crime, his love is worth it. He never shall find out." + + + + +_Chapter XXVIII_ + + +Elizabeth had little time in those days for thought. There was still +less time, even, when she was alone with Gerard. The days passed in a +whirl of gaiety, in which she had been swallowed up since her return +to town. It was a state of things which bored Gerard extremely, but +secure in the promise he had at last obtained from her that the +wedding should be at the end of January he possessed his soul in such +patience as he could muster. And when he requested as a special favor, +that she would refuse all invitations for the thirty-first of December +and see the Old Year out in peace, she consented at once, and the hope +of a quiet evening buoyed him up through other weary ones, when he +would lean in his old fashion against the wall, and watch her across a +ball-room, the center of an admiring court. Yet, even as he did so, +the proud consciousness of proprietorship swelled his heart. She was +his--his! He had no longer any doubt of her, or jealousy of the men +who talked to her. + +Why then was the expected evening, when it came, fraught with an +intangible sense of gloom, of oppression, which made the time pass +heavily? The old Dutch clock, which the Misses Van Vorst had brought +with them from the country seemed to-night to mark the hours with +extraordinary slowness, as if the Old Year were in no hurry to be +gone, even though the noises in the street, the blowing of horns and +of whistles were enough, one might have thought, to hasten his +departure. + +Elizabeth was pacing restlessly up and down the room. Her hands were +clasped carelessly before her, her long house-dress of white cashmere, +belted in by a gold girdle, fell about her in graceful folds. There +was a flush in her cheeks, a somewhat feverish light in her eyes; she +started nervously now and then as some enterprising small boy blew an +especially shrill blast on his horn. + +"I don't know why it is," she said at last with a petulant little +laugh, coming back to her seat by the fire opposite Gerard, and taking +up a piece of work, in which she absently set a few stitches, "New +Year's Eve always gets on my nerves, I think of all my sins--and +that's very unpleasant!" She broke off, pouting childishly, as if in +disgust at the intrusion of unwelcome ideas. + +He was watching her lazily, with the amused, indulgent smile which +certain of her moods had always the power to call forth; the smile of +a strong man, who felt himself quite able to cope with them. "With +such terrible sins as yours, Elizabeth," he said, "it must be indeed a +dreadful thing to think of them." + +She turned quickly towards him. "You don't think that they can be very +bad?" + +"I should be willing to take the risk of offering you absolution." + +She bent down over her work so that her face was hidden. "Ah, you--you +don't know"----she rather breathed than spoke. He only smiled +incredulously, as one who knew her better than she did herself. + +"Play for me, darling," he said, after awhile, and she went +mechanically to the piano. But her playing was always a matter of +mood, and to-night her fingers faltered, the keys did not respond as +usual. She passed restlessly from one thing to another--snatches of +Brahms, Chopin, Tschaikowski, with the same jarring note running +through them all. + +She broke off at last, with a wild clash of chords. "I can't play +to-night," she said, and came back to the fire. "How calm you are!" +she said, standing beside Gerard and looking down at him with eyes +almost of reproach. "This horrible evening doesn't get on your nerves +at all." + +"How can it?"--Gerard possessed himself of her hand and raised it to +his lips.--"How can I waste any regrets on the Old Year," he said, +"when the New Year is to bring me--so much happiness?" + +She started and caught her breath, as if the words held a sting. "Ah, +yes," she repeated, very low "it is to bring you--so much happiness!" +For a moment she left her hand in his and then withdrew it with a +stifled sigh. She went back very still and pale, to her seat on the +other side of the fire, and taking up her work, she fixed her eyes +upon it intently. + +"And so you think it is to bring you happiness?" she said, in a low +voice, continuing the subject as it seemed in spite of herself. "You +are quite sure of that, Julian, you have--no doubts?" She raised her +eyes with a wistful questioning that puzzled him. + +"Doubts, Elizabeth!" He stared back at her reproachfully, his brows +drawn together frowning. "Why do you harp so much on that, my darling? +Why should I have doubts?" + +"Why, some men might, you know."--Her eyes were bent again upon her +work.--"You yourself--you had them, you know, when you first knew me." + +He flushed. "Don't remind me of that," he said, hastily. + +"Well, it may have been a true presentiment."--She gave him an odd, +furtive look. "I've wondered--sometimes--if I were as nice naturally +as other girls I know. I hadn't, to begin with, the sort of mother +that--most girls have"----She hesitated, a painful crimson flooded her +face, her eyes filled with tears. Gerard stared at her in amazement. +He had never heard her allude to her mother before, and had supposed +her entirely ignorant of all painful facts in the family history. + +"Darling," he broke out, indignantly, "who has told you--things like +that?" + +"Who? Oh! I don't know."--She put the question aside listlessly.--"One +always hears unpleasant facts, somehow. I always knew that she wasn't +the--the sort of person that the Neighborhood would call on"--a +painful smile hovered about her lips. "It used to make me very +unhappy--but lately--it hasn't seemed to matter. And yet--I think of +it sometimes"----She broke off suddenly and looked at Gerard with a +strange light in her eyes. "Doesn't it make a difference to you? +Doesn't it occur to you sometimes that I may be--my mother's daughter; +that it would be wiser to--distrust me?" Her voice died away at the +last words into a hoarse whisper. + +"Elizabeth!"--Gerard sprang to his feet. He went over to her and took +both her hands in his strong grasp. "Elizabeth, never let me hear +these morbid fancies again. Never suppose that anything your mother +did or left undone, can make a difference in my faith in you!" + +He stood looking down at her with eyes full of an imperious +tenderness. She trembled and shrank away before them, as if +frightened. "You trust me, then?" she repeated, and she drew a long +sobbing breath. "You're quite _sure_ you trust me?" + +"Absolutely."--Gerard's smile lit up his face.--"How often, you +exacting woman," he asked, "do you want me to promise that I will +never doubt you again." + +There was silence for a moment. The noises in the street sounding +suddenly with redoubled violence in the stillness, seemed to punctuate +Gerard's words with an outburst of derision. To Elizabeth's fancy the +whole atmosphere of the room was tense, vibrant, filled with jarring +echoes of the noise without. Even the old Dutch clock, whose ticking +was one of her earliest memories, seemed to beat with a new, +discordant note of mockery, as if it too were uttering its ironical +comment on the wisdom of a man's faith. + +Elizabeth shuddered and thrust Gerard's hands away. "I wish--I wish I +deserved your trust, Julian," she broke out, wildly. Then she laid her +face on the arm of the chair and sobbed. He fell back and stared at +her aghast. The tender smile was arrested, frozen on his lips. For +him, too, as for her, the room was suddenly filled with discordant +vibrations, a sense of unreasoning dread. + +In a moment Elizabeth looked up; with a great effort she conquered her +tears. She went to Gerard and put her hand on his arm. The face she +raised to his was white, trembling in a pathetic appeal. The tears +still glistened on her long lashes, there was a tremulous sweetness in +her great dark eyes, in the quivering lines about her pale lips. +"Julian," she said, "if I'm not--not worthy of your trust--not worthy +of your love, even"--she faltered--"if I had deceived you--_were_ +deceiving you still"----she paused and looked him in the face with an +agonized questioning. + +"Yes?"--Gerard's hoarse voice urged her on.--"If you were deceiving +me? It isn't--it can't be true, but if you were?"---- + +"If I were," she went on, steadily, "if I had kept one thing from +you--against my will--oh, God knows! sorely against my will"--her +voice broke--"if it had been a weight on my mind day and night--if I +had longed to tell you and had tried to do it and always--my courage +failed me, and--and--if at last--at last, I told you--would +you--think me so very much to blame, couldn't you--forgive?"--Her +voice again faltered piteously, the last word was barely audible. + +He broke away from her and took two or three turns up and down the +room, breathing heavily, like a man who had been running. "Tell me +what this secret is?" he broke out, fiercely, pausing suddenly in +front of her. "How can I tell if----I could forgive, till I know what +it is?" + +Again the silence. Elizabeth's white lips tried, apparently in vain, +to form an answer. The courage which a moment before had possessed +her, seemed to shrivel up and die away, before that fierce light in +his eyes. + +"Tell me," he repeated, inexorably, "what it is." + +She put out her hand suddenly with a pleading gesture. "Ah, let us +first see the Old Year out together," she murmured, "as we planned. I +should like to feel that you loved me till--the very end of it. You +may not--afterwards. It won't be long. See--it's nearly time." She +glanced up at the clock. It was ticking faster now, as it seemed, and +steadily, the hour hand well towards midnight. + +Elizabeth went to the window and flung it open. The current of cold +air which flooded the room seemed to give her relief; she leaned out +as far as she could, inhaling it in long, fevered gasps. Gerard +followed and stood behind her, in an agony of impatience, distraught +by a hundred incongruous, terrible suggestions. The prolonged suspense +seemed, in his over-wrought state, a very refinement of cruelty, yet +some instinct kept him silent, left to her the mastery of the +situation. + +In the street there was unwonted stir and bustle. A crowd assembled to +greet the New Year. Small boys, whose horns made the night hideous, +pranced about like uncouth imps of darkness; the street-lamps, as they +flickered, cast a weird, uncertain light on the snow-covered ground. +But the moon, riding overhead, shone peacefully, and myriads of stars +studded the wintry sky. Down towards the Battery one could hear, above +all coarser sounds, the chimes of Old Trinity ringing faint but true. + +Elizabeth's eyes were riveted upon St. George's clock, which stood +out, not many blocks away, above the roofs of intervening houses. Her +lips moved, but no sound came; one hand grasped convulsively the +curtain behind her. To Gerard as he watched her those fifteen minutes +before the New Year were the longest of his life. + +Suddenly all noises slackened; upon the listening crowd outside there +fell a pause, a hush of expectation. St. George's clock boomed out the +hour in twelve majestic strokes. The old Dutch clock within the room +echoed it in quieter tones. And then, as the last stroke died away, +the crowd stirred, there arose a hideous Babel of sound--cat-calling, +shouting, blowing of horns and whistles; pandemonium set loose. It +raged for several minutes, and stopped abruptly, exhausted by its own +violence. There was again silence, and then a burst of laughter. Some +one in the crowd cried loudly and heartily: "Happy New Year!" + +Elizabeth shivered, as if with a sudden consciousness of the cold. She +shut the window and faced Gerard. Against the vivid background of the +crimson curtain, in her clinging white dress, her pale beauty, crowned +by her red-gold hair, stood out with a strange, unearthly quality, +like that of some pictured saint. There was a look on her face which +was tragic in its despairing resolution, yet which had in it a certain +exaltation, as if she had risen for the moment at least, above +herself, to heights hitherto unknown. + +"You shall know the worst of me, at last. You won't"--she gave an odd +little laugh--"you won't grant me absolution, Julian, I'm afraid. But +oh, I'm sick--God knows, I'm sick of lies!" She paused and caught her +breath as if for one supreme effort. "This is the truth," she said. "I +was married to Paul Halleck--before I knew you, more than a year ago." + +He staggered back, as if she had struck him a blow. "You +were--married--to Paul Halleck?" + +"Yes," she repeated, in a dull monotone, "married to him--more than a +year ago." + +He was still staring at her as if stupefied. "Married!" he repeated, +"married all this time!--when you professed to love me! When"--a +pause--"you promised to marry me! Oh, it's impossible," he cried, with +a sudden flash of incredulity, and he put out his hand and touched her +involuntarily. "Say you're only playing with me," he begged her, +"trying my faith--say it's not true." His voice shook, unconsciously +his hand closed upon her wrist with a grasp that might have hurt her, +had she been capable just then of feeling physical pain. + +"It--it is true," she said, and stood motionless, white and rigid as a +statue, her head bent. + +He still stared incredulous for a moment, and then the reality of what +she said seemed to sink into his soul. With a quick, involuntary +gesture, which wounded more than words, he let her hand fall, and +began to pace up and down the room. + +"Good God!" she heard him mutter. "Married all these months!--and I, +who loved you, trusted you!"----He broke off with a gesture of angry +despair. Her lip quivered, her eyes followed him for a moment and then +filled with tears. She went over to the mantel-piece, and resting her +arms upon it, she hid her face. + +It was a long time before he stopped beside her, but then his voice +showed recovered self-control. "Will you tell me," he said, "exactly +how and when this marriage took place?" + +She turned with a little shuddering sigh and raised her white, +exhausted face to his. "It was at Cranston," she said, quietly, "one +day in July. I did it hastily. My aunts were opposed to it, and--I +hated to make them unhappy. But I--I thought I loved him. It was a +mistake. I went up to Cranston to meet him, and--we were married. It +was in church--there were witnesses, we signed a register--it was all +legal, or at least I suppose so. And then--when we came out"----she +paused. + +"Yes--when you came out?"--Gerard repeated the words hoarsely, his +brows drawn together, his eyes fixed upon her in an agonized +questioning.--"What then, Elizabeth?" + +She hesitated, staring straight before her, as if she were trying to +recall the whole thing exactly as it happened. "When we came out of +the church, I felt--I don't know why--I felt frightened. I seemed to +realize--indeed, I think I _had_ realized all the time--what a mistake +it was. He begged me to come away with him, and I--I refused. He had +promised me that I should go home, and that he wouldn't claim me for +six months, and--I held him to it. He gave in at last, and so--we +parted"---- + +"Ah!"--Gerard drew a long breath.--"You--parted?" + +"Yes. I left him and came home. I got there about four--my aunts +suspected nothing. He went abroad. And--after a while he stopped +writing, I thought he had forgotten me. It all began to seem like a +dream. And then--Eleanor Van Antwerp asked me to come to town, +and--the rest you know." + +"No, not all." Gerard insisted. "When the fellow came home, why didn't +he claim you? How have you kept him quiet, all this time?" + +"Ah, that was easy."--She spoke listlessly.--"He didn't care anything +about me; I used to give him money. I sold my pearls--all my jewelry, +in fact. Yes"--as Gerard uttered a horrified exclamation--"it was a +terrible bondage, but what could I do? He had me in his power. I used +to wonder if the marriage were legal, but there was no one whom I +dared ask. And then I thought sometimes that he might die--I had all +sorts of wild ideas; but nothing happened, and meanwhile he +threatened--to tell you everything. I bought him off twice, and +then--this last time"--she paused--"this last time I promised him all +my income if he would give me up forever, and never trouble me again. +Ah, you think it unpardonable, I see"--she put out her hand with a +deprecating gesture--"but you don't know what it is to be +tempted--desperate. I was determined I wouldn't ruin my life. And +then--then"--her voice faltered--"this evening when you seemed so +happy, so trustful--that was what hurt me, Julian--it was easier when +you were jealous, suspicious, as you were at first--it came to me +suddenly that I couldn't begin the New Year--I couldn't begin our life +together with this--this terrible secret weighing on my soul. And so +I--I told you"---- + +Elizabeth's voice faltered, she raised her eyes in a half conscious +appeal. It seemed to her for the moment as if the agony of that +confession must make amends to some extent even for such deceit as +hers. But Gerard's face did not soften. Her whole conduct seemed to +him monstrous, incredible. He could not accept as atonement this tardy +repentance, the fact that she had told him the truth--at the eleventh +hour. + +The thought occurred to him, which she had herself suggested, earlier +in the evening. He remembered chance gossip of the Neighborhood about +her antecedents, listened to vaguely even before he knew her, and +haunting him afterwards in the first days of their acquaintance, till +love had made him cast it aside, as a thing of no importance. Now it +recurred to his mind as the only explanation--he did not accept it as +an excuse--of this weakness which seemed otherwise inexplicable. No +doubt there must be, he told himself, in the child of such +parents,--it would be strange if there were not--some hereditary +taint, some lack of moral fibre, which curiously imperceptible in +other ways, must needs assert itself in any great moral crisis. The +thought, which might have softened him, seemed at the time only to +steel him the more against her. + +He fell again to pacing up and down, thinking it over; seeing past +incidents afresh in the merciless light of his present knowledge; +recalling this or that insignificant circumstance which at the time +had aroused, unreasonably as it seemed, his distrust;--her occasional +uneasiness and distress, that air she had of being on her guard, the +look in the picture--ah, he understood it now! It was the shadow of +falsehood, which for months had clouded her every thought and action. +What a fool he had been, he reflected fiercely--how he had allowed +himself to be deceived--made an easy prey by the extent of his +infatuation--how she had juggled with the truth, telling him the worst +of herself in such a way that he had believed, all the more +determinedly, the reverse. + +He stopped at last his restless pacing to and fro and paused beside +her. The fierce tide of anger, the first bitterness of his +disillusion, had subsided. He was cold, with the coldness of despair. +His face was worn and haggard, as if from the suffering of years, but +it was set in rigid lines, from which all feeling seemed to have +vanished. His eyes were dry and hard. + +"I think," he said, and there was a dull, toneless sound in his voice; +he spoke slowly, like one who either weighed his words with great +care, or was afraid to trust himself too far, "I think there had +better be an end to this. I should only say, if I said all I thought, +things I might afterwards--regret; and I wouldn't"--his voice broke +ever so little--"God knows I don't want to be unjust! But I +cannot"--he let his hand fall with a look of dull despair--"I _cannot_ +understand how you have kept this from me all these months!" + +He paused, as if expecting an answer, an excuse, perhaps of some sort; +but she said nothing, and he went on, after a moment, his voice +growing more uncertain: "It isn't so much the marriage--that could be, +perhaps"--He hesitated, his heavy brows drawn together frowning--"The +man must be an absolute wretch," he said, suddenly, "there must +be--for your sake I hope so--some way out"---- + +"Oh, for me"--she made a little gesture of utter carelessness--"for me +it can make no difference--now." + +"For myself," he went on, not heeding her words, perhaps not fully +grasping their meaning, "I couldn't--whether the marriage held or +not--I couldn't forgive--being so deceived." + +He stopped and again seemed to expect some protest, but she only +repeated, in a dull voice of complete acquiescence: "No, I didn't +think you could forgive--being so deceived"---- + +"Even if I could forgive," he said, "I could never trust"---- + +"No," she repeated, "you could never trust." Her face was colorless, +but impassive, as if it had been turned to stone, her voice was almost +as firm as his. "You are quite right," she said. "I deserve all the +harsh things you could say. It is kind of you to say--so few. Perhaps, +later, you'll judge me more gently; but--I couldn't expect it now. And +so"--she faltered and caught her breath, as if her strength failed +her--"and so good-bye," she said at last. "I think it can only hurt us +both to--discuss this any longer." + +Her calmness stunned him. He had been prepared for tears--excuses--but +she offered no defence and made no effort to arouse his pity. There +was a dignity in her complete submission. He looked at her, his face +working with varied emotions; and then he said "Good-bye" mechanically +and took her hand for an instant. It was icy cold and lay impassively +in his. He dropped it and moved towards the door, as if under some +spell, deprived of all capacity for thought or feeling. Involuntarily, +her eyes followed him. Was this the parting, after so many months? But +at the door he paused, he looked back. The firelight played on her +hair, on her white dress, the drooping lines of her slender form, the +deathly pallor of her face, the despair in her eyes.... He softened, +perhaps, or it might be that the mere physical spell of her beauty +held him, even when all that made the glory of his love, had been +rudely shattered. He came back, caught her in his arms, and pressed +burning kisses on her lips. She trembled as if they had been blows, +but she made no effort to free herself. And then, as if ashamed of his +weakness, he let her go and went out hastily. A moment later she heard +the front door close, with a dull sound that echoed through the quiet +rooms. + +She stood where he had left her, staring blankly about her at the +familiar objects which seemed to have acquired, during the last hour, +an air of change, of unreality. What had happened, what had she done? +Awhile ago she had been borne up by a courage that seemed almost +heroic, a sense of moral victory. Now that had failed her. She was +simply a woman despised and heart-broken, who by her own suicidal act +had destroyed her happiness. + +"How--how can I bear it?" she broke out, at last, fiercely, and +sinking down on the hearth-rug, she lay prostrate, her face hidden, +while her whole frame shook with convulsive sobs. The old Dutch clock +ticked softly, pitifully, in the silence; the fire flickered and died +away. But outside in the street spasmodic whistles kept on blowing, +and belated wayfarers still bade each other, with laughter and +jollity, "Happy New Year." + + + + +_Chapter XXIX_ + + +It was eight days later. Elizabeth's trouble and the New Year were +both a week old. She had lived through the time somehow or another, +had even faced those smaller trials which follow in the wake of any +great catastrophe. She had told the whole truth to her aunts--it was +only less hard than telling Gerard--she had written to her friends to +announce the breaking of her engagement, and had countermanded the +orders for her trousseau. These affairs disposed of, she was ready to +face the world with such strength as she had left. + +For Gerard the situation was simpler. He had taken at once his man's +way out of it, and pacing the deck of an ocean steamer, he tried to +distract his mind and forget his trouble in plans for extensive travel +and scientific research. They had been his resource once before, when +a woman had disappointed him. + +He had not seen Elizabeth again. He dreaded, perhaps, to trust +himself, or perhaps his anger was still too great. But he had written +before he left to her aunts, urging them to consult a lawyer and take +steps at once to free her from the results of her rash marriage. To +himself, he justified this weakness--if it were weakness--by the +thought of Halleck's baseness. "I could not bear to think of her as +his wife," he said to himself, "a fellow who could give her up for +money!" + +Upon Elizabeth's aunts the affair had come like a thunderbolt. They +were quite unprepared for it, though many suspicious circumstances--the +mystery as to Elizabeth's jewels, her own occasional words--might have +suggested the idea that something was amiss. But absorbed in their +delight in the engagement, their affection for Gerard, they had not +the heart to formulate any doubt they might have felt. Now, in the +first shock of their awakening, they remembered unwillingly the same +facts of family history which had occurred to Gerard. What could they +have expected from Malvina's child but deceit, folly and disgrace? But +they were gentle souls, and had no reproaches for Elizabeth, only a +silent, sorrowful pity, which hurt the girl's proud spirit more than +the sharpest words. + +She was lingering that morning, pale and languid, over her untasted +breakfast, and Miss Cornelia, from behind the coffee-urn, stole +anxious glances towards her, all sense of injury lost in her distress +over the girl's wretched looks, and fear that she was going to be ill. +They two were alone, Miss Joanna having already started to do her +marketing, when the maid entered with the belated newspaper. Miss +Cornelia held out her delicate, tremulous hand for it, nervously +apprehensive of that paragraph which no doubt in the society columns, +announced that the engagement between Miss Van Vorst and Mr. Gerard +had been broken "by mutual consent." + +It was not this notice which met her eyes, but some exciting +head-lines on the first page which had already attracted the attention +of the cook and the housemaid. + +"Elizabeth," said Miss Cornelia, in a stifled voice. "Elizabeth--what +is this?" + +Elizabeth raised her vacant eyes, and saw Miss Cornelia deathly white +and staring in horror at the paper. "Is it?" she said. "It must be. +What a dispensation! So young, too." + +"Auntie," said Elizabeth, impatiently, "why don't you say what it is?" + +"I am afraid he was very ill prepared," said Miss Cornelia, apparently +talking to herself and oblivious of her niece's presence. But suddenly +she seemed to realize it and placed her hand over the paper. "My dear, +don't look at this yet," she faltered. "You--it will be a shock, +Elizabeth. Prepare yourself." + +Elizabeth did not wait to hear more, but went to her and seized the +paper from her hand. The headline told, in large type, how Paul +Halleck, the prominent young singer, had died the evening before of a +mysterious draught of poison, which had been sent to him by mail. + +There followed in smaller type the details of the affair, but +Elizabeth did not read them. She sank into the nearest chair and sat +staring before her with dilated eyes, that seemed to express less +surprise or terror than a sort of awe, as at some unexpected +manifestation of Providence. + +"It was I who killed him," she said. She spoke in a dull, dream-like +way, not in the least conscious, as it seemed, of anything +extraordinary in the words. Poor Miss Cornelia could form no other +conclusion than that she had suddenly lost her mind. + +"Elizabeth, my darling," she remonstrated, "what do you mean?" But +Elizabeth was still staring before her vacantly, absorbed in her own +thoughts. + +"And so it has happened!" she said, in a low voice, "at last!--when I +had given up hope!"--She was quite oblivious of her aunt's horror or +of the staring eyes of the maid, who stood listening, the coffee-pot +in her hand, her mouth wide open. But at that moment Miss Cornelia +suddenly remembered her presence and signed to her to leave the +room--an order obeyed reluctantly. + +"Now, Elizabeth," Miss Cornelia faltered out, as the door closed, "do, +my darling, explain what you mean. It's quite absurd, you know, to say +that you had anything to do with this." + +"I wished it," said Elizabeth, gazing at her with dull, expressionless +eyes. "I wished, I even prayed, that he might die. And my wishes +always come true--only it is in such a way that it does no good." + +"But you can't," urged Miss Cornelia, in desperation, "you can't kill +people by _wishing_, Elizabeth. Of course, there are things that one +can't--feel as sorry for as one would like"--Her voice faltered, as +she thought of certain individuals connected with her own life, whose +death it had been hard to regard in the light of an affliction. "We +can't help our thoughts," she murmured, "we can only pray not to give +way to them." + +"Ah, but I didn't," said Elizabeth. "I encouraged them. And now I +shall have remorse, I suppose, all my life." She sat pondering a +moment, while the expression on her face grew softer. "I am sorry he +is dead," she said, at last. "It does me no good now--and he seemed so +full of life the last time I saw him. But it was his fate, no doubt--a +fortune-teller told him he would die before the year was out. It was +his unlucky year, as well as mine. And the prediction has come +true--in both cases." + +"But how did it happen?" urged Miss Cornelia. "Do read, Elizabeth, how +it was. Did he drink poison by mistake?" + +Elizabeth took up the paper and read the story, which grew to be a +famous one in the annals of New York crime. Halleck had received on +New Year's Eve a package which contained a small hunting-flask of +sherry. There was no name or card with the present--if present it +_were_; nothing to identify the giver, except the hand-writing on the +package, which he did not recognize. + +He suspected nothing, however, imagining the card to have been +forgotten, and accepted the flask as a belated Christmas present; but +kept it unopened, in the hope of discovering from whom it came. He had +brought it out and showed it the night before to some friends, and the +flask and the box in which it arrived were passed from one to the +other, but each disclaimed all knowledge of them. + +"To me," said D'Hauteville, who happened to be present, "it looks like +a woman's handwriting, disguised to seem like a man's. Perhaps"--he +smiled--"it contains a love potion." + +"Or a death potion," suggested another man, laughing. + +"I'm not afraid," said the young singer, lightly, "of either +catastrophe." With a smile he poured some of the wine into a glass and +raised it to his lips. "To the health," he said, "of the mysterious +giver." He emptied the glass and put it down, observing that it must +be, after all, a woman's gift, since no man would have chosen such +poor wine. "Try it," he said, but by some fortunate chance no one did. +And in a few minutes Halleck was taken desperately ill, and died +before the hastily-summoned physician could save him. + +This is, briefly put, the account which Elizabeth read, at first with +a strange sense of unreality, as if such tragedies, of which she had +often read before in the papers, could not possibly occur within the +circle of her own acquaintance. Then followed a growing horror, a +feeling of passionate remorse for her own indifference. + +"Read it, auntie," she said, thrusting the paper into Miss Cornelia's +hand. "I--I must be alone to think it over." She went quickly and shut +herself in her room. But when there she did not lie down and cry, as +might have been best for her; she had not shed any tears since New +Year's Eve. She paced up and down, going over the whole thing in her +mind, imagining the details with a feverish vividness, struggling, +above all, with this irrational, yet terrible sense of guilt. + +It _was_ irrational--this she realized even in her state of feverish +excitement. The vindictive wish which had crossed her brain would +never have gone beyond it and resolved itself into action. She would +not even--she knew this now--have been a passive factor in Paul's +death; she would have been the first to go to his aid, had she seen +him suffering. No selfish remembrance of her own gain would have +stopped her. And yet--and yet--with all her reasoning, her mind always +returned to the same point. She had wished for his death, and her +wishes had been fulfilled, too late for her own advantage, only as it +seemed, to add to her punishment. + +The idea occurred to her all at once that she must go and look at his +dead body. It presented itself, in some irrational way, in the light +of an atonement. The fever in her blood, the beginning of an illness, +made the strained, hysterical thought seem natural and almost +inevitable. She was not conscious of doing anything unusual. Hastily, +she dressed herself, choosing instinctively a black gown and tying a +black veil over her face, and went out into the street, where the cold +air, which she had not faced for a week, blew refreshingly on her +burning cheeks. She walked all the way, rapidly, choosing unfrequented +avenues, and looking neither to the right nor the left, her mind +intent on the one object, yet with a strange relief in motion and the +intense cold. She reached Carnegie Hall in a surprisingly short time, +but here she encountered unexpected difficulties. + +"Take you up to Mr. Halleck's studio?" said the elevator-man, looking +with surprise and suspicion at this veiled young woman, who made such +an extraordinary request. "I can't take you up. The police has charge, +and there ain't a soul allowed to go in but Mr. D'Hauteville." + +Elizabeth was not in a mood to be gainsaid. She placed a coin in the +man's hand. "I must see him," she said, in a hoarse whisper. "If you +won't take me up, I'll walk. I am his wife," she went on, as he still +stared at her, wondering. "I have a right to see him." + +"Well, it's the police that settles that," he rejoined, gruffly, but +still he took her up, reflecting that, after all, it was no business +of his. He brought the elevator to a stand-still, with a shake of the +head and an anxious look towards the fatal studio, but Elizabeth moved +towards it as if she had no doubt whatever of entering. And at the +same moment, Mr. D'Hauteville opened the door of his rooms on the same +landing, and came face to face with her. + +"Miss Van Vorst!" he exclaimed, staring at her; then, in a lower +voice: "For Heaven's sake, don't come here. Halleck is dead. Haven't +you heard?" + +"Yes, I--I have heard." She looked pleadingly at him. "Mr. +D'Hauteville," she said, "take me in to see him. I--I must see him. It +was such a shock. I am his wife, you know," she added. The +disclosure, which she had once so dreaded, fell from her lips +indifferently, as if it were a thing of small importance, compared +with the gaining of her purpose. + +"His wife!" D'Hauteville fell back and stared at her incredulously. +Then his mind quickly grasped the explanation of facts which had +puzzled him. He looked at her and saw that she was suffering from +terrible distress and excitement. "Do you really wish to see him?" he +said. "It would be painful." + +"Yes, I--I must see him." Elizabeth raised confidingly her troubled +eyes, and D'Hauteville apparently could not resist their appeal. +Slowly and reluctantly he unlocked the studio door and allowed +Elizabeth to enter. The hall was empty, but from behind the portière +at the end came the sound of voices. D'Hauteville cast an anxious +glance towards them, but he opened quickly another door, and led the +way into the bedroom, which was still and dark, and close with a +strange, oppressive atmosphere. D'Hauteville, treading softly, drew up +the shade. Then he fell back and turned his eyes away. + +Elizabeth felt no fear, though her only recollection of death was +connected with a horrible moment in her childhood, when they had led +her in trembling to look at her father in his coffin. But now she felt +indifferent to any trivial terrors. She stood by the bedside looking +down at the dead man, and put out her hand and touched the curls which +clustered about his forehead. He was not much changed; the greatest +difference which death had made was in a certain look of dignity, +which his face had never worn in life. It was impossible, standing +there, to think of his faults, or of any harm that he had wrought in +her life. She only remembered that he had been her first +lover--nothing more. + +A few moments passed, and then D'Hauteville pulled down the shades and +drew her gently from the room. The tears were falling fast behind her +veil, and the hand that rested against his was icy cold. + +"I had better see you home," he said anxiously, but she shook her +head. + +"No, no, thank you. You have been very kind, but I--I would rather +not. Mr. D'Hauteville," she said, raising piteous eyes to his +"who--who could have done it?" + +"God only knows!" said D'Hauteville, with a sigh. "No one else, I +believe, ever will." + +He had rung the bell, and they stood waiting for the elevator, when +she turned to him. "It was not I," she said, "don't ever think that it +was I." And at that moment the elevator stopped and she was borne +away, before there was time for further words. But D'Hauteville stood +paralyzed. + +"For Heaven's sake," he asked himself, "why did she say that? Who +accused her?" + +Elizabeth, as she went her way, was quite unconscious of the +impression her words had produced. Her head felt confused, and after +she left Carnegie there followed a blank interval, during which she +wandered aimlessly, but found herself at last, as if led by some +involuntary instinct, in the Park beside the lake, into which a few +weeks before she had thrown her wedding ring. Now, as before, it was +nearly covered with a thin coating of ice, yet there was a strip of +water visible, and upon this her eyes fastened with a thrill of +terrified fascination. She pictured it involuntarily, closing over +her, dragging her down, blotting out all thoughts, all feelings.... A +moment of agony, perhaps, and then? Rest, oblivion, an end of all +struggle, no more to-morrows to be faced, no more regrets.... The +thought of death, the one way out, the only remedy, swift and sure, +appealed to her with a force almost irresistible. + +If only the water were not so cold!--In an instant there swept over +her, quite as inevitably, the natural, healthy reaction; the revulsion +against the icy pond, and all the weird, uncanny, frightful, +unpleasant associations that it conjured up. Ah, she had not the +courage!--not then, at least. She closed her eyes, shutting out the +strange fascination of the water gleaming in the pale chill sunlight, +and promising its sure and terrible relief--she closed her eyes and +turned resolutely away. A horror seized upon her of herself and of +loneliness, of the bleak desolation on every side. She hastened, +breathing heavily, towards the entrance of the Park, her hurried +foot-steps on the crisp, hard path sounding unnaturally loud in the +wintry silence. + + + + +_Chapter XXX_ + + +Several weeks later the Halleck poisoning case was still, so far as +the general public was concerned, an impenetrable mystery. For a day +or two various clues were investigated, with a great appearance of +zeal; and then a lull fell upon the efforts of the police. Their final +investigations, if they made any, were conducted behind closed doors. +But no result appeared from their labors; the coroner's inquest was +postponed from week to week for lack of sufficient evidence. The +public grew impatient, and clamored that some one should be +arrested;--it did not seem greatly to matter whom. And then there +began to be strange rumors of influence exerted to conceal the truth, +of suspicion which pointed in such high quarters, that the police were +afraid to continue their search. + +These rumors were still comparatively new when Eleanor Van Antwerp +took up one day a scandalous society journal--(one of those papers +which no one reads, but whose remarks, in some mysterious way, every +one hears about)--and came across a paragraph, which seemed to her at +once insulting and inexplicable. + +"They say"--it began with this conventional formula--"that certain +highly dramatic developments are to be expected soon in the famous +poisoning case. The evidence that the District Attorney has collected +is now said to be complete and to inculpate rather seriously a +well-known beauty. The lady is related, though on the father's side +only, to one of our old Dutch houses, and was introduced to society, +where she was before entirely unknown, by the representative of +another old Knickerbocker family. Under such circumstances her success +was certain. Not content with taking the town by storm, she made +special capture of a certain prominent society man and eligible parti, +to whom her engagement was announced. This gentleman has, however, +according to latest reports, left the forlorn beauty and fled to parts +unknown." + +What did it mean? The hot, indignant color rushed to Mrs. Bobby's +cheek, and then, retreating, left her deadly pale. She took the paper +to her husband, and pointing out the offending paragraph, she stood +beside him as he read it, her dark eyes fixed intently upon his face, +and seeing there, to her dismay, more indignation than surprise. + +"Well," she said, as he looked up at the end. "Tell me--what does it +mean?" + +"It--the editor of that infernal thing ought to be horsewhipped," he +said, fiercely. + +She put the remark aside as irrelevant. "Why, that should have been +done long ago. But what does it mean?" she persisted, holding to the +main point. + +He put the paper down with a sigh. "It means what it says, Eleanor, +I'm afraid," he said. + +She stared at him, a shade paler, while the dread in her eyes grew +more pronounced. "Means what it says?" she repeated. "Then it isn't +merely a wild concoction of the kind they're always inventing?" + +"It's more than that, I'm afraid." Bobby rose and began to pace up and +down. "They do say nasty things," he said, apparently addressing the +walls, or anything rather than his wife. + +Her eyes followed him with an intense anxiety, as her white lips +barely framed the question: "At the clubs?" + +He nodded. "Yes, there, and--at other places besides. At the District +Attorney's, for instance"-- + +"You don't mean?"--she began incredulously. + +"That they suspect her? Yes." + +Mrs. Bobby sat down as if her strength suddenly had failed her. "But +that's absurd--impossible!" she said, after a moment. + +"Perhaps; but--it's the impossible that some times happens." Mrs. +Bobby was silent in incredulous horror; and he went on, after a pause: +"You see, she's in a confoundedly unpleasant position. There are all +kinds of queer stories going the round. They say now that she was +secretly married to Halleck; that he had some kind of power over her, +at least; and then having every motive to get rid of him, being +engaged to Gerard"-- + +"Bobby," said his wife, in a horrified tone "how can you repeat such +disgusting gossip?" + +"I'm only telling you what they say," said Bobby, apologetically. + +"I don't wish to know it." Bobby held his peace. "Why should she have +any motive?" said his wife, after a moment's reflection "when her +engagement was broken?" + +"They say--but I thought you didn't wish to know." + +"I don't, but I suppose, I must know. What do they--these disgusting +people--say?" + +"They think that Gerard found out something which made him break the +engagement. As for the poison, that was sent before, you know"-- + +"Bobby," said his wife, with a little cry, "you don't mean to suggest +that she--that Elizabeth Van Vorst"--She paused as if at a loss for +words, and Bobby concluded the sentence. + +"Sent the poison?" he said, quietly. "No, I don't suggest it--not for +a second; I don't _believe_ it, even," he cried, with sudden emphasis, +"but there are other people who--who do both." + +"Then they must be fools." Bobby made no reply. "Where," she said, in +a moment, "do they suppose she got it--the poison?" + +"That they don't know--as yet; but they know--or they think they +do--where she got the flask. There's a shop in Brooklyn where they +sell others like it"--he stopped. + +"Well," she said, "what of it? I daresay there are a good many shops +where they sell them." + +"The man who keeps this particular shop, said, I believe, that he sold +one on the twenty-third of December to a young woman thickly veiled, +rather tall and with wavy red hair." + +"Her hair isn't red," said Mrs. Bobby, quickly. + +"Some people call it so, you know," said Bobby. She was silent. + +"Hundreds of women have that sort of hair," she said, presently. "Half +the actresses in town"-- + +"He said it seemed to him natural." + +"How should he know?" said Mrs. Bobby, contemptuously. "And why on +earth should she choose a place like Brooklyn? I don't think she ever +went there in her life." + +"She seems," said Bobby, gently, "to have done a great many things +that you--didn't think of, Eleanor." And again his wife fell silent. + +"Have they any other evidence?" she asked, after thinking a moment, +"or what they call evidence? I might as well know the worst." + +"They have her letters, which were found among Halleck's papers--she +told him to burn them, but he didn't. They were signed 'E. V. V.' One +of them was about her engagement to Gerard--it seemed he had +threatened her, and she offered him money to keep him quiet; the other +was just a line, asking him to meet her in the Park. It's evident that +she was afraid of him and had to keep him supplied with funds. She +sold all her jewelry, they say, to do it." + +"Ah--her jewelry!" Mrs. Bobby drew a long breath. "That is what she +did with it, then," she remarked, involuntarily. + +Bobby turned to her sharply. "You noticed, then," he said, "that she +didn't have it?" + +"Of course. There were her pearls, which she never wore last summer; +the watch I gave her, too--I used to feel hurt that she never carried +it, but I never suspected--Oh, what a fool I was--what a fool! And I +who thought myself so clever in bringing about a match between her and +Julian!" She stopped and suddenly burst into tears. "I made a nice +failure of it all, didn't I?" she said. Then in a moment, her mood +changed, and she turned upon Bobby indignantly. "Why didn't you tell +me all this before?" + +"I didn't want to tell you," said Bobby, slowly, "a moment sooner than +was necessary. Personally, I don't see the use of having all this +exploited--as a matter of fact, I'd pay a good deal to have it kept +quiet; partly for your sake, and partly because--well, I like +Elizabeth. She may not have behaved well, but I don't think she +deserves to be made conspicuous in this way. I don't mind confessing +that I've done what I could to arrest the zeal of the police, but I'm +sorry to say, without success." + +"You don't mean," she said incredulously, "that they refused money?" + +"Well, the new District Attorney is very zealous," Bobby explained, +"and, between ourselves, I think he wants the éclat of a sensational +case. To put a young society woman in prison, against the efforts of +all her friends, shows Roman stoicism,--or so he thinks." + +"But you don't believe," said his wife, piteously, "you don't think it +could come to that, Bobby?" + +"To prison?" he said. "I don't know, Eleanor--upon my word I don't +know." And he began again thoughtfully to pace up and down. + +"What did Gerard say," he asked presently, "when he wrote to you +before he sailed?" + +"It was just a hurried note, hard to make out. He said the engagement +was broken by her." + +"Of course he'd _say_ that. What did she tell you?" + +"That it was his wish, but he was not to blame, and she would tell me +more some other time. She looked so unutterably wretched that I +couldn't ask any questions just then." + +"Ah," said Bobby, softly. "I don't believe, poor child! that it was +her doing, Eleanor." + +"If it was Julian's," she said, "he must have had some good reason." +And with that they both fell into thoughtful silence. + +"I don't see," was her next objection, uttered musingly, "I don't see +how they ever thought of Elizabeth in the first place. It seems such a +wildly improbable idea." + +"It certainly does," Bobby agreed. "Then Elizabeth, poor child, as it +happens, rather put the idea into their heads herself. It seems that +she went to the studio the day after the poisoning and insisted upon +seeing him. She said she was his wife. D'Hauteville saw her, I +believe, but he said nothing about it. It was the elevator man who +told the story--he took her up and he heard D'Hauteville call her by +her name. He says that D'Hauteville took her into the studio, and when +she came out she was crying. And the man vows he heard her say 'I +didn't do it, don't think I did it,' or something of the kind." + +"Why, I never," broke in Mrs. Bobby, "heard anything so extraordinary. +The man must have been drinking. It's impossible that Elizabeth could +have done such a thing. Why, it was that day--that day"--she paused +and thought--"that day after the murder," she continued, triumphantly, +"I remember distinctly going to see her in the afternoon, and she was +ill in bed with grippe, and her temperature very high." + +"I can believe that," said Bobby, rather grimly, "after what she went +through in the morning. For I'm afraid there's not much doubt, +Eleanor, that it's true. One of the detectives, too, saw her pass +through the hall, and I don't think that D'Hauteville denies it. They +want him to testify at the inquest, but so far, they can't get him to +say one thing or another." + +"He would deny it, of course, if it were false," said Mrs. Bobby, in a +low voice. Her husband bent his head. "Well," she said, rallying, +"after all, I don't see anything in that. It would be pretty stupid, +if she were really guilty, to defend herself before she was accused. +No one but a fool would have done that, and the person who sent that +poison couldn't have been a fool. And she wouldn't have gone near the +studio; that's the last thing the real culprit would have done." + +"That's what I say," said Bobby. "It doesn't seem on the face of it +the act of a guilty woman. But they have some theory of hysterical +remorse, and there is other evidence I haven't heard which fits into +that. They say that when she heard that it had really happened she +lost her head completely. There have been such cases, you know. Oh, +and then another thing. They're comparing the handwriting on the +package with the letters"-- + +"The letters?" broke in Mrs. Bobby, anxiously. + +"Yes, that I told you of, you remember--written to him--they've got +experts examining them now." + +"Ah, well, if the experts have got hold of the case," said Mrs. Bobby, +resignedly, "we might as well give up hope. They'd swear away any +person's life to prove a theory." + +"Well, at least," said Bobby, "it's the life of a young and beautiful +girl. That really seemed to me, when I heard all this, the only hope. +Even handwriting experts are human." But his wife only sighed +despairingly. + +"I think," she said, after awhile, "I must go to Elizabeth. I haven't +seen her for several days, and she mustn't think that her friends are +giving her up." + +"You won't--tell her anything?" asked Bobby, anxiously. + +"Do you think she doesn't know?" + +"She would be the last person, in the natural order of events, to hear +of it." + +"Then I shall say nothing," said his wife, after a moment's +reflection. "You wouldn't, would you?" she added, as she caught an odd +look in her husband's eyes. + +"I--I don't know." Bobby seemed to reflect. "If--if she were to go +abroad just now," he said, doubtfully, "it might not be a bad plan." + +"Bobby!" Mr. Van Antwerp's wife faced him indignantly. "You wouldn't +have her--run away from all this? You wouldn't have her frightened by +anything those people can threaten?" Eleanor Van Antwerp's dark eyes +sparkled, she held her head proudly. Her husband looked at her half in +doubt, half in admiration. + +"You would face it?" + +"Yes, if it cost me my life." + +The look of admiration on Bobby's face brightened and then faded to +despondency. "Ah, well, you are right--theoretically, of course, +but--would Elizabeth, do you think, have the same courage? Or, if she +had, could you, knowing what you do, take the responsibility of +allowing her to face it?" + +This was the doubt--the horrible doubt, which troubled Mrs. Bobby as +she drove to Elizabeth's home, and at the thought of it her heart +failed her. Her husband had judged her rightly--she could be braver +for herself than for others. Would it not be better, after all, to +suggest to the Misses Van Vorst the desirability of a trip abroad? She +looked thoughtfully out of the carriage window. It was a bleak +February day, and people in the street had their coat-collars turned +up against the chill east wind. The climate of New York at this time +is detestable; a change would do any one good. She would go herself to +the Riviera and take Elizabeth with her. + +Mrs. Bobby had hardly reached this conclusion before the carriage +stopped in front of the quiet apartment house in Irving Place where +the Van Vorsts were spending the winter. It was an old-fashioned house +with an air of sober respectability, that seemed to make such wild +thoughts as filled Mrs. Bobby's brain peculiarly strained and +improbable, like the hallucinations of a fevered brain. It was a +shock, keyed up as she was to the tragic point, to enter the peaceful +little drawing-room with its bright coal fire and general air of +comfort, and to find Elizabeth prosaically engaged in looking over +visiting-cards and invitations. And yet Mrs. Bobby was shocked by the +change in her appearance, which every day made more apparent. Her face +was haggard, there was a deep purple flush in her cheeks; her lips +were dry and feverish, there was an odd, strained look in her eyes. +The hand she held out to her visitor burned like fire. + +"I'm so glad you came in," she said, with a wan smile. "I've been +looking over these stupid things and my head aches. You see, I've +neglected my social duties shamefully--not sending cards, or even, I'm +afraid, answering some of my invitations. People must think me +horribly rude." + +"Oh, they know you've been ill," Mrs. Bobby answered vaguely. She sat +down, all the wind taken out of her sails, and stared wonderingly at +Elizabeth. How could she--how could she look over visiting-cards and +talk about invitations, with this terrible danger hanging over her +head? Was it possible that she had no suspicions? And yet--did not +her eyes betray her? But Mrs. Bobby could not think of any way of +introducing the subject of which her mind and heart were full, and +there was silence till Elizabeth spoke again. + +"It's odd, isn't it," she said languidly, "that Mrs. Lansdowne hasn't +asked me to her ball. Have you cards for it?" + +"I--I believe so." + +"Well, she has left me out," said Elizabeth. Mrs. Bobby started and +looked at her with some interest. "I suppose she thinks," Elizabeth +went on, "I--I'm not much of an addition just now. I certainly am not, +to look at." She laughed a little, in a feeble way. "Of course I +shouldn't go," she added, "but it isn't nice to be--left out." + +"Perhaps it's a mistake," suggested Mrs. Bobby, not very impressively. +She was quite convinced to the contrary. + +"Perhaps," Elizabeth acquiesced, "but if so, several other people have +done the same thing. The Van Aldens never asked me to their dance, and +I haven't had an invitation to a dinner for weeks. People forget one +quickly in New York, don't they?" And she made another painful attempt +at a laugh. + +"I suppose," said Mrs. Bobby, "they think you don't want to go." + +"I don't," said Elizabeth, "but they might at least give me the +opportunity of refusing." And then there was a pause, in the midst of +which Miss Joanna entered. + +"Oh, Mrs. Van Antwerp," she said, "how glad I am to see you! Do tell +Elizabeth that she ought to be in bed. You can see for yourself she +has fever. It is the grippe, of course--she has never really got over +it." + +"Yes," said Mrs. Bobby, looking doubtfully at Elizabeth, "it is the +grippe, of course." + +"The grippe is a convenient disease," said Elizabeth, in a low tone, +"it means--so many things." She took up a sheet of paper and began to +write hastily. "It does me good," she said "to employ myself. And I +can't stay in bed--it drives me wild." Miss Joanna, as if weary of +expostulation, moved to the window. + +"Yes, I declare," she announced, in the tone of one who makes a not +unexpected discovery, "there are those men again. Every time I look +out, one or other of them seems to be watching the house." + +"Watching the house?" repeated Mrs. Bobby, startled. + +"Yes, that's what it looks like, at least. And the other day, when I +went out, one of them stared at me so--most impertinent. I declare, if +it goes on, we shall have to make a complaint. And one of them +followed Elizabeth--didn't he, my dear?" + +"I thought he did," said Elizabeth, indifferently, "but I didn't +notice much. I have thought several times lately that there were +people following me. Perhaps it is because my head feels so queer." + +"What do the men look like?" asked Mrs. Bobby. + +"Oh, quite respectable," said Miss Joanna. "They don't look like +beggars, certainly. Cornelia thought they looked rather like +detectives--she said they made her feel nervous; but that, of course, +is quite ridiculous." + +"Quite ridiculous," echoed Mrs. Bobby. To herself she was saying, "Ah, +that trip abroad!" + +"Eleanor has an invitation for Mrs. Lansdowne's ball, auntie," said +Elizabeth, suddenly changing the subject, which did not seem to +interest her, by the introduction of one that evidently rankled in her +mind. "She thinks it is odd I wasn't asked. I told you," she went on, +with a bitter smile, "that people are giving me up since my engagement +was broken off." + +"But that is nonsense," remonstrated Miss Joanna, in distress. "Tell +her," she said, turning pleadingly to Mrs. Bobby, "that that isn't +so." + +Mrs. Bobby started up and took Elizabeth's hand. "I don't know," she +said, speaking with strange earnestness, "who gives you up, Elizabeth +dear, and I don't care. I never will. Remember that, dear child. I +will stand by you whatever happens." And then, as if conscious of +having said too much, or fearful perhaps of saying more, Mrs. Bobby +swept hastily from the room, leaving her hearers petrified. + +Miss Joanna was the first to speak. "How very strange she was!" she +said, in a low voice. "What--what do you think she meant?" + +Elizabeth was staring vacantly at the door, but at her aunt's words +she turned. + +"I don't know," she said, "what she meant, but one thing I +understand--that my social career is ended." With a little pale smile, +she swept aside the cards of invitation, locked them into a drawer and +left the room. + + + + +_Chapter XXXI_ + + +Mrs. Bobby regained her carriage, and consulting her engagement book, +she ordered her coachman to drive her to the house of one of her +friends, whose "day at home" it was. It was a sudden resolution. She +had gone about very little that winter, since she had no longer the +incentive of chaperoning Elizabeth, and had not paid a visit for +weeks, on the plea of mourning for an uncle. But now she set her teeth +and said to herself that she must mingle with the world to find out, +if possible, what the world was saying. + +Was it fancy, or did she distinguish, as she stood in the hall of Mrs. +Van Alden's house leaving cards, amidst the hum of voices in the +drawing-room, words that bore upon her own fevered anxiety? "Shocking +affair," and "so she is really involved in it"--surely she heard those +sentences. And then the conversation ceased abruptly as the butler +drew aside the portière and she stood for a moment on the threshold. +Her eyes were bright, her head erect; she glanced around taking mental +stock as it were of the company. Five or six women were seated about a +blazing wood fire, with an air unusual at functions of this kind of +having come to stay and of forming--or this again might have been her +fancy--a sort of council of justice. There was Mrs. Lansdowne, to +whose ball Elizabeth had not been invited; and there was Sibyl +Hartington, and one or two others who knew Mrs. Bobby and did not, as +it happened, love her very much. "Enemies," she thought, drawing her +breath sharply, "and discussing Elizabeth and me! It's the same +thing--I'm sure I feel as if it were I under suspicion." Eleanor Van +Antwerp had certainly never known such a feeling before, but her +bearing had never been more instinct with the nonchalant confidence of +a woman who seems absolutely unconscious of her position, for the +reason that it has never been questioned. + +"I seem to have interrupted the conversation," she observed, lightly, +after she had been rather nervously greeted and kissed by her hostess, +and had taken her place in the circle. "Some one was telling a very +interesting story--I caught fragments of it as I came in." She glanced +her eye round the group. "It was you, Kitty, I think," she said. +"Won't you--please--begin the story over again and tell it for my +benefit?" + +"Kitty," thus appealed to, colored and bit her lip. "Oh, the story +isn't really worth repeating," she said, hastily. She had no wish to +offend Mrs. Van Antwerp, and was heartily wishing that she had not +spoken so loud. Sibyl Hartington helped her out by observing, with her +placid smile: + +"It's a story about a friend of yours, my dear Eleanor, so Kitty is +afraid to tell it." + +"About a friend of mine?" said Mrs. Bobby, and she opened her eyes +very wide. "Then there's all the more reason," she said, decidedly, +"why I should hear it." + +Her glance challenged the group, but no one spoke and at last the +hostess interposed. "My dear Eleanor, I'm sorry you should have heard +anything about it. We were only talking about poor Elizabeth Van +Vorst, and regretting that there is all this unfortunate gossip about +her. For my part, I don't believe there is a word of truth in what +they say, but it is certainly--uncomfortable." + +"It makes it hard to know what to do," said Mrs. Lansdowne, a woman +with a deep bass voice and an air of being not so much indifferent to, +as unconscious of other people's feelings. "I couldn't for instance +ask Miss Van Vorst to my ball while there are these queer rumors about +her. I was sorry to leave out any friend of yours, Mrs. Van Antwerp; +but if a young woman gets herself talked about, no matter how or why, +I can't encourage her--it's against my principles. Let the girl behave +herself, I say, and keep out of the papers. I'm sure that's simple +enough." + +"It's not always so simple," said Mrs. Bobby, and though the indignant +color had rushed into her cheeks, her tone was seraphic, "not so +simple for every one as it is for your daughters, Mrs. Lansdowne." A +subdued smile as she spoke went the round of the circle. Fortunately +Mrs. Lansdowne was not quick in her perceptions. + +"No, it's true," she admitted, "my daughters have had unusual +advantages. I can't expect every one to come up to the same standard. +But one has to draw the line somewhere, and when a girl has done such +queer things as Miss Van Vorst, there seems nothing for it but to drop +her." + +"But what--what has poor Elizabeth done?" asked Mrs. Bobby, with eyes +of innocent wonder, and again there followed an awkward silence. + +"Well, you know, Eleanor, they tell very queer stories," the hostess +said at last, deprecatingly. "I never pay any attention to gossip, but +these things are sometimes forced upon one. Haven't you seen that +thing in _Scandal_?" + +"I don't," said Mrs. Bobby, unmoved, "read '_Scandal_,' Mary." + +"And _Chit Chat_," chimed in some one else. "There was a long +paragraph in _Chit Chat_. It seems that she was mixed up in some way +in that dreadful poisoning case. They say that she was actually +married to that young Halleck." + +"At the same time that she was engaged to Julian Gerard," said Mrs. +Hartington, with her calm smile. "It's no wonder that he, poor man, +when he found it out, got out of the affair as best he could." + +Mrs. Bobby looked steadily at the speaker. "As a friend of Mr. +Gerard's, Sibyl," she said, "I can state on his authority that the +engagement was broken by Miss Van Vorst." + +Sibyl Hartington's calm, faintly amused smile again rippled across her +face. "I never doubted, my dear Eleanor," she said, "that Mr. Gerard +is a gentleman." + +The entrance of another visitor at that moment was not altogether +unwelcome to Mrs. Bobby, who felt that she was being worsted; but the +new-comer immediately continued the same subject. + +"I've just been hearing the most extraordinary news," she exclaimed, +sitting on the edge of her chair, and too much excited to notice Mrs. +Bobby's presence, "I heard it at luncheon. They say that Elizabeth Van +Vorst"--But here the speaker suddenly caught sight of Mrs. Bobby, and +stopped short. + +"Well, what do they say?" said Mrs. Bobby, with rather a bitter smile. +"Don't keep us in suspense, Miss Dare, and above all, don't mind my +feelings. I would rather know the worst of this." + +"Well, I don't believe there is any truth in it. They say that she is +really seriously implicated in that dreadful poisoning case; that the +police have letters she wrote to Halleck, and all sorts of unpleasant +things. But of course it's impossible--a girl like that, whom we all +know!" + +"Do we?" said Mrs. Hartington, softly. "Do you think that we, any of +us, know much about her? You didn't, Eleanor, did you?"--turning to +Mrs. Bobby--"You just took her up in that charming, impulsive way of +yours--didn't you?--because people in the Neighborhood didn't have +much to do with her, and you felt sorry for her?" + +Mrs. Bobby made a scornful little gesture. "You flatter me, Sibyl," +she said. "I'm afraid I'm not so charitable as all that. I 'took up' +Elizabeth Van Vorst, as you say, because I liked her, and for no +other reason. It was for my own pleasure entirely that I asked her to +stay with me, and I have never regretted it." + +Mrs. Hartington gave a barely perceptible shrug of the shoulders. "I +congratulate you," she said. "It was a rash action, some people +thought at the time. A girl whom you knew so slightly, whose mother +was such an impossible person--or at least, so they say. I don't of +course," she went on, in her soft, drawling tones, "know much about it +myself, but it does make all this gossip seem less extraordinary--doesn't +it?" + +"Why, yes, of course, that accounts for it," said Mrs. Lansdowne, +looking relieved. "That sort of thing runs in families. A girl who has +a queer mother is sure to be queer herself and get herself talked +about." + +"I never thought her very good style," some one who had not yet spoken +now found courage to observe. "Her hair is so conspicuous. I never +could understand why men seemed to admire her." + +Mrs. Hartington raised her eye-brows. "Ah, the men!" she said, with +serene scorn. "She is exactly the sort of girl who would appeal to +men." + +Mrs. Bobby felt that she had stayed as long as the limit of human +endurance would permit. She rose to her feet, her cheeks were flushed, +her eyes brilliant, her voice rang out with crystal clearness. "It's +hardly necessary for me to tell you," she said, "that Elizabeth Van +Vorst is my most intimate friend. I love her very dearly and always +shall. What her mother may have been is no affair of mine. But as for +the men liking her"--she turned suddenly to Mrs. Hartington--"they do +like her, Sibyl, and I think they show good taste. But if you mean the +inference you seem to draw from that"--she paused and drew her breath +quickly--"why, it's not very flattering, I think, to either men or +women." + +Mrs. Hartington gave a short little laugh. "My dear, I'm not drawing +inferences one way or another. I merely stated a fact--complimentary, +one might think, to your protegée. But you take things so +seriously!"--She drew herself up with an air of some annoyance. + +Mrs. Bobby's hands were tightly locked together inside her muff, she +faced the group appealingly, her dark eyes wandering from one to the +other. "Certainly, I take this thing seriously," she said, and there +was a thrill of earnestness in her voice which moved more than one of +her hearers. "It's no light matter for me to hear my friend spoken +of--like this. I had Elizabeth Van Vorst with me all last winter, I +feel as if I knew her like my own sister. I believe in her implicitly, +no matter what any one may say. And if--if some of you"--instinctively +her eyes fastened upon one or two whom she felt she was carrying with +her--"if you would try to think the best, give her the benefit of the +doubt, show that women can stand by one another--sometimes"--Her voice +faltered and she broke off suddenly; there were tears glistening in +her eyes as she held out her hand to her hostess. "Forgive me, Mary," +she said. "I don't want to make a scene. But I can't help feeling +strongly, and in this case I want every one to know exactly how I +feel." And with that she left the room quickly before any one could +speak, yet conscious as she went of a subtle wave of sympathy, which +seemed to have made itself felt since her entrance. + +"But it's useless--useless," she said sadly to her husband when she +got home. "You might as well try to stop the course of a torrent as +fight against the world's disapproval, when it is once roused against +any poor, defenceless girl. And it isn't as if she were a great +personage, or even as if she were still engaged to Julian! They've +nothing to gain by standing by her. Yet there were one or two, I +think, even of those women this afternoon, who felt with me. And at +least"--she consoled herself a little--"at least they shall see that +she has friends!" + +"She'll need them, poor girl. The--the inquest--I've just heard--is +coming off next week." He took up a paper knife and played with it, +while he stole a furtive glance at his wife. "I think you had +better--prepare Elizabeth," he said. + +"Prepare her?" she repeated anxiously, as he paused. + +"For some confoundedly unpleasant questions! Yes. Have you the +strength to tell her?" His eyes questioned her anxiously. She was +white to the lips, but she met them without flinching. + +"One can always find strength." + +"It's confoundedly hard, I know." Bobby began to pace up and down +helplessly. "You don't know how I hate to have you mixed up in all +this, Eleanor," he said. "I'd give anything to have you out of it. +Wouldn't it be better for you to go abroad for awhile?" + +"And desert Elizabeth? My dear Bobby, you wouldn't have me do that?" + +"Well, you can't help her, you know," he urged. + +"I can show that I believe in her. And, thank Heaven! social position +does count for something. It may help me to fight Elizabeth's +battles." + +"It doesn't count for much, unfortunately, before the law." + +"Not theoretically, no," said his wife, sceptically. "But +practically--it counts with every one and everywhere. By the way," she +added, struck with a sudden idea, "what sort of man is the District +Attorney? I might ask him to dinner." And she looked prepared to send +the invitation on the spot. + +"My dear Eleanor, I'm afraid it's too late for that now. The thing to +do now, since matters have gone so far, is to prove Elizabeth's +innocence, and for that, the first step is to prepare her, so that she +won't be taken unawares. Her aunts too--they must be told, I suppose. +Poor things, I believe it will kill them!" + +"People don't die so easily. It would be more merciful, I sometimes +think, if they did." She sat and thought for a moment. "I think I had +better go there at once," she said, at last, nervously. "I couldn't +sleep to-night with this hanging over my head." + +And so, for the second time that day, she drove to the Van Vorsts' +apartment, feeling that her unexpected appearance in itself must +prepare them for some calamity. And indeed the telling proved easier +than she feared. She saw Elizabeth alone, and sat holding the girl's +hand, trying by many tender circumlocutions to break the force of the +blow. But Elizabeth understood almost immediately. + +"They think I sent the poison--is that it?" she said, going at once to +the point which her friend was approaching so carefully. "Well, that +isn't so strange. Sometimes I feel," she added, wearily, and putting +her hand to her head, "as if I had done it myself. I think I--I might +have done it." + +"Elizabeth, Elizabeth, what do you mean?" + +"Because I wished it, you know," Elizabeth went on to explain quite +calmly. "I was married to him, and I wished that he might die, so that +no one would ever know it, I didn't tell any one but Julian--I +wouldn't have told him if I could have helped it. That was the reason +he gave me up--because I told him that I had been secretly married all +the time. He was angry because I hadn't told him before." + +"But," interrupted Mrs. Bobby, with intense anxiety, "you did tell +him, at last?" + +"Yes, of course I told him," said Elizabeth, in surprise. "I told him +New Year's Eve. Why else should he have given me up?" + +"Then," cried Mrs. Bobby, rising to her feet in her excitement, "that +seems to me an unanswerable argument. If you had--had expected Paul +Halleck's death, you certainly wouldn't have told Julian Gerard of +your marriage. That's clear as daylight. Oh, Elizabeth, how fortunate +that you told him!" + +"Fortunate?" said Elizabeth, listlessly. "I don't see that it is very +fortunate, since he has given me up and will never forgive me." + +"But it may save you." Elizabeth looked at her blankly. "Oh, my dear +child," cried Mrs. Bobby, "don't you understand that they suspect you +of--of the murder?" + +"You don't mean that they would put me in prison?" + +Mrs. Bobby only answered by her silence. Elizabeth sat staring at her +for a moment, then the color rushed into her white face, her eyes +flashed. "How would they dare do that," she cried, "when I am +innocent?" + +"Of course you are," said Mrs. Bobby. "No one but a fool would think +otherwise. And we will prove it, never fear. But you mustn't talk any +more of this morbid nonsense about being guilty of his death and all +that. I know what you mean well enough, but the general public doesn't +understand such psychological subtleties. And besides, it's not true. +The guilty person had no thought of doing you a service--be sure of +that. Paul Halleck would have died, my dear, if you had never known +him. And now keep up a brave heart, Elizabeth. Your friends will stand +by you, and when all this is over--happily over, you will look back +upon it as a bad dream--nothing more." + +Mrs. Bobby had almost talked herself into feeling the confidence she +expressed; but Elizabeth listened languidly, with drooping head. All +color had faded again from her face; it looked haggard, worn; her +hands plucked nervously at some fringe on her gown. When she wiped her +eyes at the last words, the smile she conjured up was piteous. + +"It's a dream," she murmured, "that is lasting--a terribly long time." + + + + +_Chapter XXXII_ + + +There is an old prison well in the heart of the city, which presents a +grim, mediæval front to the busy world outside. Elizabeth knew that it +existed, but had never seen it. She did not know even where it was, +till she found herself condemned to spend eight months within its +walls. + +This was after the inquest, when the evidence had gone as she had seen +herself, very much against her. It was a curious feeling--this +bewildered perception of a net closing round her, whose meshes she had +woven herself. The verdict of the jury was hardly a surprise. And then +they broke to her gently the fact that bail was refused, and they +brought her across the Bridge of Sighs, the name of which gave her an +odd little thrill, into the prison. + +The inmates of The Tombs are mostly of the lowest class. Such a +prisoner as Miss Van Vorst was disconcerting to wardens and matrons +alike. The situation was unprecedented, they hardly knew how to deal +with it. + +Elizabeth was placed in one of the ordinary cells; no other indeed was +to be had. It was small and dark, and had for furniture a cot-bed, a +faucet set in the wall, and one cane chair. Light and air--what there +was of either--came in through the corridor, above and below the iron +grating which barred the doorway. There was no window. + +Elizabeth, to whom an abundance of light and air had been one of the +necessities of life, who had a passion for space and luxury, for +fresh, dainty surroundings, looked about her in blank dismay. Yet she +said nothing. From the first she seemed to school herself to a silent +stoicism, which her friends called courage and her enemies +insensibility, and which may have been a combination of both. The last +two months had been crowded with so many startling events, so intense, +conflicting a tumult of thought and emotion, that her capacity for +acute suffering was for the moment exhausted. + +Yet the mere physical horror that the cell inspired her with was very +great. The first time that the key was turned upon her, and she was +left entirely alone, with the twilight coming on, with no power to +free herself, nothing to do but wait for the matron's return, she felt +as she had felt once when for some childish offence, she had been +locked into a dark closet. Now as then she threw herself against the +door, trying with fierce, unreasoning efforts to force the lock, +uttering hoarse cries for help. Then the door had been quickly opened, +her aunts had let her out with remorseful tears, and the experiment +had never been repeated. Now no help came to her, and she was left to +adapt herself to the situation as best she might. The struggle left +deep marks on her young face, a look in her eyes which they never +afterwards lost. + +There were many ways in which the prison routine was softened in her +favor. Social distinctions count, as Mrs. Bobby had said, with every +one and everywhere. Money is powerful, even in The Tombs. The warden +and the other officials reaped in those days a harvest of gold coins +from Mrs. Bobby. + +A more comfortable bed, a hand-mirror, all sorts of forbidden +luxuries, found their way into Elizabeth's cell. Neither warden nor +matron apparently recognized their existence. She was permitted to +receive her visitors alone, to have a light in her cell after dark, to +walk for an hour a day in the corridor or the court. At these times +she would see those other women, her fellow-prisoners, huddled +together in an abject group, and feel thankful that at least she was +not obliged to mingle with them. Her meals were served to her in her +cell, and she could order what she wanted. Her friends sent her +constantly an abundance of fruit and flowers. + +The people who came to see her, and there were many of them, used to +go away wondering at her calmness. They went prepared for tragedy, and +Elizabeth received them as she might in her own drawing-room. They +noticed no change in her, except that her head had never been held so +proudly, and she had never looked so pale. But there were no +confidences, no tears, no consciousness apparently of the +extraordinary state of things. Even to her aunts, even to Eleanor Van +Antwerp, she maintained this attitude of proud reserve. They could +only guess at the thoughts which lay beneath it. There were times, +indeed, when she did not think, when her brain would seem dazed. In +those days she would read eagerly all the books that people brought +her; read them through from beginning to end, but she had never any +idea of what they were about. + +There was one form of reading which no one suggested, which she did +not, apparently, think of herself. No one brought her a newspaper, and +she never asked to see one. Perhaps she did not realize how much her +case was discussed, perhaps she realized it only too well. Her aunts +were thankful for her lack of curiosity. They could not themselves +open a paper, or enter a street-car, without an agony of dread as to +what they might see or hear. + +For the yellow journals, of course, were exploiting the affair--it was +Mrs. Bobby's opinion, indeed, that it had been started originally on +their account, for the enlivenment of a dull season. This may or may +not be true; but certainly they made the most of it. They published +Elizabeth's picture, and long accounts of her conquests. There were +pictures, too, of her grandmother, that stately beauty whose fame was +traditional, and of old Van Vorsts who had held important offices, and +served city and state with credit in colonial and revolutionary times. +Then, by contrast, there were accounts of her mother's past and her +mother's kindred through several generations of moral and social +disrepute. The Neighborhood was overrun by disguised reporters who +made copious notes of local items, and took photographs of the Van +Vorst Homestead, of the village, of Bassett Mills and even of the +church--thereby causing the Rector's wife nervous spasms in her +anxiety lest any of Elizabeth's moral perversions should be laid to +the account of the religious teaching that she had received. Bassett +Mills was all a-flutter in its excitement over this gratuitous +advertisement. But in the Neighborhood--the staid, aristocratic old +Neighborhood--there was a feeling of humiliation, a presentiment that +it could never recover from the disgrace of such notoriety. + +And yet, in spite of all discredit, what a subject for +conversation--in the Neighborhood as well as Bassett Mills! Nothing +else was talked of at the various tea-parties, of which so many had +never been given before. People who had guests took them over on +Sunday afternoons to the Homestead, and wandered about the grounds +relating the family history, while the strangers stared with interest +at the old house, and the horse-shoe on the door. There was a dreary +look about the place for the Misses Van Vorst were not coming back +that summer, and the old gardener left in charge had not the heart +under the circumstances to keep it in order. Grass grew in the +gravel-walks, the flowers in the garden hung their heads, the foliage +was sadly in need of clipping. A shadow seemed to brood over house and +grounds, as in the day of old Madam Van Vorst. + +In town, where there were more things to talk about, the great +poisoning case still took precedence of all other subjects, and +society was divided on account of it into warring camps. There were +those--a very large number--who followed Mrs. Hartington's lead, and +spoke of Elizabeth as a sort of adventuress, who had thrust herself +into circles which she had no right to enter; a party which disowned +her entirely and believed implicitly in her guilt. But there was +another party, smaller perhaps but not less influential, which took +uncompromisingly the opposite side. The people who composed it were +friends, many of them, of Mrs. Van Antwerp, and there were others who +had cared for Elizabeth for her own sake, and again others to whom the +romantic facts of the case appealed irresistibly, inducing them to +espouse her cause regardless of reason. These all spoke of her as a +suffering martyr and regarded her imprisonment as an outrage. They did +not discuss the evidence, but met all doubts with the one unanswerable +argument of their own intuitions. + +But the first side had in point of logic, so much the best of it! This +conviction intruded itself reluctantly on Eleanor Van Antwerp's mind, +as she looked up from an exhaustive summary of the case for the +prosecution. The article presented, in clear, remorseless details, all +the links in the terrible chain of evidence--her hasty marriage, and +then her repentance; her efforts to buy off her husband; the trouble +she had to supply him with money; her evident fear of his betraying +her to Gerard; her refusal to name her wedding day, till she had in +sheer desperation decided on the murder; then when the thing was at +last accomplished, her sudden remorse, her strange actions; the rumor +that she had in the first excitement confessed her guilt before +witnesses; the description too, of the woman who had bought the +flask, and which fitted Elizabeth exactly in height, coloring and +general appearance; the resemblances which the experts were said to +have discovered between her letters and the handwriting on the +package--never was chain more strongly forged! And what, the article +further demanded, had her friends to offer in rebuttal but her social +position, her youth and her beauty? + +"It's not much, certainly," Mrs. Bobby's anxiety admitted. "And yet a +good deal, too," her aristocratic instincts involuntarily responded; +"and will have their weight with the jury," her cynicism added. But +then again despair overwhelmed her, and she put the unavailing +question: "Bobby, is there--do you think there is any hope?" + +Bobby stared back at her, his face hardly less white than hers. + +"God only knows, Eleanor! If she were just a man, or even an ordinary +woman, I should say 'no;' but for a young girl, there's always a +chance. Let her"--he dropped his hand on the table beside him with a +deep sigh--"let her look as pretty as she can. It seems to me about +the only hope." + +"She won't look pretty," his wife returned, with a little sob. "She is +just the shadow of her old self; if she stays in that place much +longer, I believe it will kill her. Bobby," she cried, with a sudden +burst of indignation, staring up at him with tragic eyes, "if that +child dies--there, it will be murder! And yet you say the law is +just!" + +Bobby had said so much in the last few weeks in perfunctory defence of +the law that he was weary of the subject, and so he attempted no +further protestations, but watched his wife sadly as she walked +impatiently to and fro; a slight, childlike creature, her cheeks +flushed, her eyes brilliant with impotent anger, dashing herself as it +were against impenetrable barriers. Only once before in her life had +Eleanor Van Antwerp been confronted with an obstacle that did not +yield to her wishes. That was when the baby died, and she had resigned +herself to what she believed to be Divine Providence. But this seemed +mere human stupidity. + +"If only men were not so logical!" she exclaimed, despairingly. +"Women, if they intended to get her off, would do it, no matter what +the evidence was; but men!--they are so bound hand and foot by their +sense of justice, their respect for law, and Heaven knows what! that +they are quite capable, even if they believe her innocent, of finding +her guilty, just because the evidence was against her." + +"Well that's what they're supposed to do," Bobby put in, +deprecatingly, "they've got to abide by the evidence." It was the +twentieth time that he had made this explanation, and for the +twentieth time, she brushed it aside. + +"What does it matter," she demanded, "about the evidence, when any one +with common-sense must _know_ the girl is innocent? But I see how it +is, Bobby," she went on, her lip quivering. "You don't really believe +in her the way that I do. You have doubts--at the bottom of your heart +you have doubts. Tell me the truth, and I'll try to forgive +you--_haven't_ you?" + +She stopped before him, her dark eyes, fastened upon his, seemed to +read his soul, but he answered steadily: "Eleanor, upon my honor, I +believe in that child's innocence as you do. I'd give anything in the +world to get her off. (Yes, and I would," he added to himself "for +your sake, if she had committed twenty murders.") + +She drew a long sigh of relief. "Oh, Bobby, you _are_ nice," she said, +gratefully. "You've been very good to me all this time--never once +saying 'I told you so,' when the whole thing has been all my fault for +not taking your advice." + +"Your fault, you poor child! How do you make that out?" + +"If I had never asked Elizabeth to stop with me," she said +tremulously, "all this wouldn't have happened. You warned me--don't +you remember?--and you were right. I've come to the conclusion, Bobby, +that you generally _are_ right and I wrong." + +Her tone of submission was as edifying as it was surprising, but Bobby +with unwonted quickness cut it short. "Nonsense!" he said almost +roughly. "You were right in that case, as you generally are, and I was +wrong; and no harm would have come of it if Elizabeth--well, I don't +want to hit people when they're down," he said, apologetically "but if +she had only been frank with us from the first, all this wouldn't have +happened. My dear"--this in response to a reproachful look from his +wife--"I don't mean to be hard on her, but I can't hear you blame +yourself for what has been poor Elizabeth's own fault, helped out by +a most extraordinary train of circumstances." + +"She was to blame, certainly," faltered his wife, reluctantly, "but I +can understand--I believe I should have done the same in her place." + +"No, Eleanor," said Bobby, briefly and with some sternness, "you would +not." + +"It's true," she admitted, "I don't think I could keep a secret if I +tried. But then neither apparently could Elizabeth--to the bitter end. +That is one thing I can't understand," she went on, "why you don't any +of you attach more importance to the fact that she told Julian +herself." + +"Because," said Bobby, slowly, "we have only her own word that she did +so." + +"But her aunts"--began Mrs. Bobby. + +"They can't know what passed between them. What people think is that +he discovered the marriage and charged her with it. It seems +improbable that after deceiving him so long she should suddenly +repent. And of course he would shield her as far as possible, so his +version goes for nothing." + +"All the same, I should like to hear it," said Mrs. Bobby decidedly. +"If I were Mr. Fenton, I should summon him at once as witness." (Mr. +Fenton was the counsel for the defence.) + +"Why, Fenton thought of it," said Bobby. "He spoke about it to +Elizabeth, and she cried out 'Oh, not he--not he of all people' in +such a way that he--well, he thought he'd better not send for him, for +fear of discovering something that would go very much against us. It +did look badly, you know, that she should dread Gerard's evidence so." + +Mrs. Bobby's reply to this was unexpected. "Is Mr. Fenton considered a +clever lawyer, dear?" she asked. + +"The best that money can get," said Bobby, somewhat taken aback. "But +why, Eleanor?"-- + +"Oh, well--I hope he knows more about law than he does about women, +that's all. Now I say, send for Julian at once." + +"Well, you know, Eleanor, I can't help thinking that if he knew of any +evidence in her favor he'd have turned up of his own accord before +this. It looks badly, I think--his staying away; as if he were afraid +of being questioned if he came." + +Mrs. Bobby sat for a moment reflecting deeply, her brows knit. "I +don't believe," she said, suddenly, "that he knows a thing about it. +Where is he, do you know?" + +"Some one saw him ages ago in London," said Bobby. "Goodness knows +where he is now. But in all events, he must have heard." + +"I doubt it. It happened, you know, while he was on the ocean, and by +the time he had landed, the first excitement was over, and there was +nothing about it in the papers for a long time. So that, even if he +bought an American paper, he might not see anything about it, and the +foreign ones of course would have nothing--you know how little +interest they take in us over there. Oh, it might easily +happen--strange as it seems, that he has heard nothing." + +"But why is it, do you think," said Bobby, "that Elizabeth doesn't +want him here?" + +"My dear Bobby, how dull men are! Of course, she doesn't want to call +upon him in a time like this. She's too proud. But nothing will +prevent him--if I know him rightly--from coming at once, if there is +anything he can do to help her." + +"Well, if you think it's any good, I'll send a detective after him," +said Bobby, with the composure of one to whom money is no object. + + + + +_Chapter XXXIII_ + + +The services of a detective proved imperative in finding Gerard. His +banks when applied to by cable, regretted to reply that they did not +know his address. He had left no directions to have his mail +forwarded. Apparently his one idea had been to efface himself and +break with some home ties. It was a proceeding which did not +altogether surprise Mrs. Bobby, who understood the phase of mind which +it indicated; but to Mr. Fenton it was proof positive of his own +suspicions, that Gerard dreaded to be summoned as witness on behalf of +the woman whom he had once loved. + +"She is glad to have him out of the way," thought the astute lawyer to +himself. "No doubt he has evidence which she is afraid of. Yes, she +lied no doubt when she said she had told him herself of her marriage, +just as she lied when she said she couldn't remember what she had done +on the twenty-third of December. She remembered--I could see that +plainly--very well." The counsel for the defence was reluctantly +convinced of his client's guilt, but he had good hopes of saving her +nevertheless, though he did not think it was to be done by means that +were strictly legal. He said little and accepted Gerard's +disappearance with philosophy, even though he did not absolutely +discourage Bobby Van Antwerp from sending a detective on his track. It +could at least, the lawyer argued, do no harm, since he was quite +certain that Gerard however urgently summoned would not come. Bobby +lost heart and would have let the matter drop, but his wife's +influence again carried the day. The detective started, with urgent +directions from Mrs. Bobby to find the witness at any cost, and +equally urgent directions from Mr. Fenton by no means to find him, +unless his evidence were desirable. + +Meanwhile the summer came and life in The Tombs assumed a different +phase. + +The atmosphere in Elizabeth's cell grew unbearable, and the warden +allowed her to spend a large part of her time in the prison court. +Here, too, since the intense heat, the other women assembled for an +hour every day, and she was brought in actual contact with them for +the first time. The court was large, and she could sit on the bench +which the warden had placed for her in the shadow of the wall. And +yet, though she tried to, she could not ignore them; she found +herself, little by little, observing them, taking even some faint +interest in them. She grew to know them by name, and would talk to +some of them, asking timid questions, partly with an instinctive +desire to get away from her own thoughts, partly with the feeling that +they were human beings, in trouble like herself. There was a lurking +sympathy in her heart for even the most depraved. She would share with +them her fruit and flowers, or make little presents of one kind or +another, even though the matron, discovering this assured her that +they were in many cases quite unworthy of her kindness. + +"They won't thank you for it, Miss," she said "they won't indeed. +They're just as likely as not to say the worst things of you behind +your back." + +Elizabeth stared at her thoughtfully for a moment beneath knit brows. + +"I don't know that I care about their thanking me," she said at last, +"and even if they're not worthy, that doesn't make it any the less +hard for them, does it?" + +To the matron this sentiment had a taint of immorality and she drew +herself up primly. "Why, on that principle, Miss," she said, "there's +no use at all in good behavior." Her point of view was the correct +one, of course--at least for a prison official. But it was natural +that Elizabeth, in revolt against the hard judgment of the world, +should take the opposite side. And certainly the women, even the +roughest of them, seemed to be grateful in their own way for her +kindness, and respected absolutely the intangible barrier between +them. There were one or two, indeed, younger and more imaginative than +the rest, who would follow her with wistful eyes as she passed, or +flush in involuntary, awkward delight if she spoke to them; to whom +her presence in their midst appealed irresistibly, touching some +latent sense of romance, and lending a new interest to the prison +routine. There was something wraith-like, spiritual about her, as she +grew from day to day, more frail, her face more thin and wasted, her +eyes more unnaturally large and strained, and the shadows beneath them +deeper and darker. Her gowns, since the hot weather began, were always +white, unrelieved by color even at throat or belt. Only her hair made +a gleam of brightness, the more vivid for the pallor of her face and +the grayness of the prison walls. + +It was this soft, wavy hair at which visitors to The Tombs looked most +curiously, recognizing one of the strong pieces of evidence against +her. There was a number of visitors to The Tombs, even on those hot +summer days; people who only stared at one prisoner and asked before +they left one question of the prison officials, which met the one +answer. The warden--a gruff old man, hardened by long contact with the +lowest offenders--seemed when his turn came to hesitate. + +"Guilty, she?" he repeated, staring up at the questioner with his +shrewd old eyes. "Well, there ain't a guilty person in The Tombs--not +to hear them talk; but--she"--he paused a moment. "She never says +nothing; but--bless you"--carried beyond himself by an unwonted burst +of sentiment--"I'd as soon suspect an angel from heaven." + +"Ah, he has had a large fee," the more cynical would observe as they +left, and it was true. But the canny old warden was quite capable of +accepting all the money in the world, and reserving the right to his +own opinion, which he had stated in this case with absolute honesty. +And it was shared, moreover, by the entire prison,--jailers and +criminals alike. + +Elizabeth grew conscious of the general sentiment and it cheered her +more than its intrinsic value seemed to warrant. For it was based on +no tangible evidence, was the result of a hundred unconsidered, +unimportant words and actions, the effect of which, to those who had +not seen or heard them, it was hard to explain; and it could penetrate +little to the outside world. But she felt strangely indifferent to the +outside world. Her horizon was bounded by the prison walls. + +One day, sitting dull and languid on her bench in the shadow of the +wall, she chanced to overhear a fragment of a conversation between the +warden and a visitor. They stood within the door of the office, and +their voices came to her distinctly. "I tell you," the warden said, +apparently bringing his argument to a conclusion, "they'll never put a +woman--let alone a young and pretty one like her--in the electric +chair." + +"Ah, but if she's guilty,"--the visitor's voice demanded. And then, +with an odd grunt from the warden, they passed on. She could not hear +the rest. + +But what she had heard thrilled her with a new, sharp pang of terror, +the reason of which she could not have explained. There was nothing in +the warden's assertion, nothing even in the visitor's protest. She +knew of course that there were people who believed her guilty, and the +man's words were reassuring rather than otherwise. Yet something in +them called up before her vividly for the first time the very danger +which he disclaimed. Yes, she was to be tried for her life! Incredible +stupidity!--how was it she had never realized it before? + +There was after all nothing extraordinary, unprecedented in the idea; +it was one which had exercised over her in times past a curious +fascination. She remembered well having read a graphic account of the +last hours of a noted criminal, everything that he had said and done, +the way in which he had met his fate, his last words ... it all came +back to her with startling distinctness. She had tried at the time to +put herself in his place, to think how she would have felt.... It was +so futile, she had desisted from it at last with a smile at her own +absurdity, the healthy instincts of her warm young life asserting +themselves, as they generally did, against the occasional morbidness +of her imagination. Now, looking back on it, the whole thing seemed +one of those presentiments with which people doomed to misfortune are +visited. + +Yet the idea was absurd, even now. There was no danger, for she was +innocent. That man was guilty--or so the papers said. She remembered +that he had protested his innocence--to the end. And perhaps he had +spoken the truth. + +What did the papers say about her own case? The evidence against her +was strong--she had always vaguely known that. But--what was it the +man had said?--they'd never put a woman, guilty or innocent, in the +electric chair. But what woman would accept her life on such terms as +that? Elizabeth raised her head with that characteristic, proud little +motion which not all the humiliations of prison life had availed to +break her of entirely. "I would rather die," she said to herself, "I +would rather die." + +And then she remembered how she had shrunk from death--that morning +months ago in the park. She felt again the intense physical repulsion, +the instinctive clinging to life, the dread of the unknown.... + +That evening when the younger matron--the one she liked the best--came +with her dinner, she put her through a series of questions, which +embarrassed the kind woman not a little. Had she ever, Elizabeth +demanded, seen people who were condemned to death and how had they +behaved? Did they seem frightened, or were they calm and brave? Were +they--did the matron really believe that they were guilty, beyond +possibility of doubt? + +"Are innocent people ever condemned," asked the girl, sitting huddled +together on her bed and staring at the matron with haggard eyes. +"Surely there couldn't be--you don't suppose there could be--such a +terrible mistake?" + +"I"--The matron's voice suddenly failed her, her eyes filled with +tears. "Heaven knows I hope not, Miss," she said and went out hastily. + +Elizabeth sat still, staring before her. "She believes me +innocent--but she is afraid I will be found guilty." A little shudder +passed through her, in spite of the intense heat. And then again the +dull cloud of weary indifference descended upon her, and she said to +herself that she did not care. + +But as time went on, she knew that this was false. + +A few days later Mrs. Bobby came back, after spending a week in the +country much against her will. It seemed to her that Elizabeth looked +much worse than when she saw her last. She sighed as she realized, +more emphatically than ever, how much of the girl's beauty had left +her with that wealth of color and outline which had been its most +striking characteristic. Certainly any one who judged of her by the +famous picture, taken in her first bloom, would be wofully +disappointed now. There was only the soft sweep of the hair, and the +strange shadow in the eyes--of which the first premonition as it were +had somehow crept into the picture--but for these points of +resemblance one would hardly know her for the same woman. + +"No," Mrs. Bobby reflected, "they won't acquit her for her beauty." +But aloud she talked cheerfully, giving the Neighborhood news--what +there was of it, skimming the cream of her letters from friends at +gayer places--profoundly uninteresting just then, and mocking the +scene about them with its frivolous incongruity--but what matter. +Anything to keep going the ball of conversation! But at last, in spite +of herself, there came a pause. + +It was intensely hot. The sun beat down upon the rough uneven stones +which paved the prison court, it baked the wall against which the two +women leaned. Before their eyes there rose up sharply the walls of +the men's prison, and beyond a fragment of the Court-house, with which +the Bridge of Sighs formed a connecting link, invisible from where +they sat. A little way off, in a small circle of shade, a group of +women prisoners gathered silent, inert. A great stillness brooded over +the place, broken only by the buzzing of flies and the noises in the +street, which sounded dreamily as if it were many miles away. A man +was crying "Strawberries, fresh strawberries!" and his voice floated +in to the prison, bringing with it a tantalizing suggestion of +coolness and freedom and green fields. + +Involuntarily Elizabeth made a gesture of weariness, and raised to her +parched lips the great bunch of roses, fresh from the country, which +Mrs. Bobby had brought. They already hung their heads. + +"I suppose," the girl said dreamily, her eyes half shut, "our flowers +must be all out at the Homestead. It always looks so pretty there now, +before the heat has lasted too long. I can see it--the river with the +sails on it, and the fields covered with daisies--they must be out +now--ah, and the wild-roses!"--She drew a long breath. "Oh, I am sick +sometimes for a sight of it all," she broke out with sudden vehemence. +"I'd give anything to lie down in the grass with the trees over me, +and the cool wind in my face, and so--sleep"--Her voice sank away, she +made a weary gesture. "I'm so tired," she said, "I'd like to sleep +forever." + +"My dear child." Mrs. Bobby caught her breath, a mist of tears in her +eyes. "Don't you ever sleep here?"--she asked tentatively after a +moment, and Elizabeth answered in the same dreary way, unconscious, +apparently, that she was departing from her usual reserve. + +"No, I don't sleep often," she said, "especially since the nights have +been so hot. But when I do"--she paused and stared reflectively before +her, while the shadow in her eyes grew deeper. "There's a dream that +haunts me now," she said at last, "whenever I fall asleep. I dream +about my trial, and--it always goes against me. I stand there all +alone, the judge pronounces sentence, and I--I try to speak, I try to +tell them that I'm innocent, but--the words won't come--I wake up half +strangled"--she broke off shuddering. "Ah, you can't imagine how +horrible it is," she said, "worse even than--lying awake." + +Mrs. Bobby was silent for a moment, but when she spoke her voice was +steady. "It's a horrible dream," she said, "but it's impossible--quite +impossible that it should come true. You won't be left alone, we shall +all stand by you, you will be acquitted surely--surely"--in spite of +herself, her voice suddenly faltered, in a way that belied her words. + +"You think so?" Elizabeth said, quickly. "You _hope_ so. But--if you +should be mistaken?" She put out her hand and grasped Mrs. Bobby's +wrist. "Tell me the worst," she said. "I'd rather know it. Is there +much danger, do you--in your heart of hearts, do you think that I +shall be acquitted?" Involuntarily her grasp tightened, her strained, +dilated eyes searched her friend's face with a look that seemed to +compel only the truth--to tolerate no evasions. And Eleanor Van +Antwerp, with all her courage, could not meet it. She turned her face +away with a little sob. + +Elizabeth sat rigid for a moment, waiting for the answer that did not +come; then her fingers relaxed their hold, she took her hand away and +sank back against the wall. + +There was a long silence. The noon-day sun crept towards them, +dazzling the eyes, a few flies buzzed aimlessly about. Upon Eleanor +Van Antwerp's mind the prison court, as she saw it then, baking in the +noon-day heat--the group of women huddled together, the rags of some, +the tawdry finery of others, the look of dogged misery on their coarse +faces--the whole scene impressed itself, calling up always in after +years a sense of powerless despair. + +At last Elizabeth turned to her, and a faint smile hovered about her +white lips. + +"Do you know," she said, "did the warden show you? in that corner +there they have--the old scaffold--what's left of it, at least. They +keep it as an interesting relic. Oh, he wouldn't show it to me"--she +smiled again painfully--" he's too considerate--I heard him telling +one of the visitors. They don't have anything of the kind now, he +said,--there is--Sing Sing and the electric chair. And that is--or so +they say--more merciful. But is it--do you really think it can be?" +She paused and stared up at Mrs. Bobby with eyes full of a dawning +terror. "To have a hood put over one's face," she went on, her voice +trembling, "that's how they do it, isn't it?--to wait--wait for the +shock." ... She stopped, the look of terror in her eyes grew deeper. +She lifted the roses from her lap and held them up before her face, as +if to shut out, with their color and fragrance, some horrible vision. +"Oh, I see it day and night," she said, "day and night! If I see it +much longer, I shall go mad." + +Mrs. Bobby's hand tightened convulsively upon hers. + +"Elizabeth, my dear," she cried, "you mustn't think of such +possibilities. It could never--come to that, they would never--carry +their cruelty to that extent"--Her voice faltered. + +Elizabeth put down her roses and looked up at her. Her face showed +recovered self-control. "Why--because I'm a woman?" she asked, with a +pale little smile. "That's what the warden said--that they wouldn't +condemn a woman to death. But even if they--stopped short of that, +would imprisonment--would this sort of thing, or worse"--she swept her +hand with a comprehensive gesture round her--"wouldn't death, on the +whole, be better?" + +And Mrs. Bobby could not answer, for she thought in her heart it would +be--infinitely better. + +But in a moment she rallied her energies. + +"Elizabeth," she said, "there's no necessity to consider--either +alternative. I believe firmly that we shall get you off. But in order +to do it you must help us--to defend you. You seem indifferent about +it; Mr. Fenton complains that you keep things back. You can't afford +to trifle--tell us everything. Isn't there"--she leaned forward +eagerly and grasped Elizabeth's hand--"doesn't Julian Gerard know +something that would help us?" + +She felt Elizabeth start and shiver; then stiffen into sudden +rigidity. The hand she held was withdrawn, and with the action the +girl seemed to release herself, mentally and physically, from her +grasp. + +"I don't know," she said, and her voice was cold, almost as though she +resented being questioned, "I don't know why you think that." + +"I don't think--I feel it! There is something that he can say." Mrs. +Bobby's eyes seemed to challenge a denial. Elizabeth met them with a +look of defiance. + +"There is nothing," she said. "He knows nothing; or if he did"--she +lowered her voice with a sudden change of tone--"if he could save me, +I'd rather die than have him sent for." + +"Ah--you'd rather die?" Mrs. Bobby caught her breath. "And you think +that is fair--to yourself, to your aunts, to us all?" + +"I don't know." The girl's voice had the ring of weary obstinacy that +suffering will sometimes assume. "I only know I don't want him--sent +for." + +Mrs. Bobby seemed to reflect. "We can't send for him," she said at +last, "we don't know where he is." + +Elizabeth started. "You don't," she repeated, in a low voice, "know +where he is?"-- + +"No, he left no address. His mail is at his banker's--they don't know +where to forward it." + +Elizabeth turned her face away. "Ah, I see," she murmured, "he doesn't +wish to be reminded of--anything at home." A pale cold smile flitted +across her white face. "It is better so," she said, firmly, "far, far +better. I am glad that he is away and that there is no use in sending +for him." + +"But if there were"--all Mrs. Bobby's self-control could not keep the +tremor from her voice--"if there were, Elizabeth, isn't there +something that he could testify in your favor? Do tell me, dear," she +urged; the girl sat silent. "You see I have guessed it--it can do no +harm for me to know what it is." + +Elizabeth spoke at last, low and hesitatingly. "He knows that on the +twenty-third of December, when--when that man said he saw me in +Brooklyn, I was with him--with Julian. I went out that morning, +meaning to do some shopping, but I met him accidentally. He persuaded +me to go up to the Metropolitan Museum--there was a picture he wanted +to show me. We were there some hours. And--and that is all." + +"And that was," said Mrs. Bobby breathlessly, "on the twenty-third of +December. You are _sure_?" + +"Quite sure," said the girl listlessly, "but what difference does it +make? I wouldn't tell Mr. Fenton--I said I couldn't remember what I +did that day, and I wouldn't tell you now, if I thought that you could +send for him. You can't send for him, can you?" She looked at Mrs. +Bobby with sudden alarm. "You really don't know where he is?" + +"Upon my word and honor," Mrs. Bobby assured her, "I don't." And then +she said little more, but kissed Elizabeth presently, bade her keep up +her courage, and left sooner than she generally did. + +"No, I don't know where he is," she said to herself, as the hansom +bore her swiftly up-town, and she stared out absently at the deserted +streets. "We don't know, but please God, we shall soon. If only that +man finds him, if he can only get him here in time." + + + + +_Chapter XXXIV_ + + +This was in the early summer; and Elizabeth's trial was to be in +November. The time approached, and nothing had been heard of Julian +Gerard. Efforts were made to postpone the trial, that this important +witness might have time to appear. But the influence of people like +the Van Antwerps, which seems in some ways all-powerful, is in others +curiously slight. The District Attorney was acting in the interests of +the yellow journals and they, according to their own account, in the +interests of the people, which required, as they set forth in +high-sounding editorials, that no more favor should be shown to Miss +Van Vorst than to the lowest criminal. + +After all, the girl's health had suffered so severely from the long +confinement that it seemed a cruelty to lengthen it, even with the +hope of Gerard's return. Mr. Fenton himself was of opinion that the +trial should not be postponed. He had done his best for his client, +though hampered more, perhaps, than he realized by his secret doubt of +everything she said. He did not believe in this alibi, which she had +trumped up, as he decided, when the one person who could confirm or +deny it was safely out of the way. Yet he tried to find some other +witness who remembered, or imagined having seen her at the Museum on +the morning when she was supposed to have been in Brooklyn. No such +person could be found. The case for the defence was lamentably weak. +Mr. Fenton admitted the fact to himself with a shrug of the shoulders, +and fell back philosophically on his conviction that no jury would +send a young woman of Elizabeth's position and attractions to the +electric chair. + +Perhaps the person most to be pitied in those days was Miss Cornelia, +who had been summoned as witness for the prosecution to corroborate +the testimony of Bridget O'Flaherty, her former waitress, as to her +niece's words and manner on the morning after the murder. The poor +lady was in a pitiful state of agitation. "What shall I say?" she +asked, looking appealingly from one to the other of Elizabeth's +friends and advisers. + +"Say anything," said Mrs. Bobby, hastily, "any--any lie that you can +invent." + +She stopped. Miss Cornelia drew herself up with dignity. "I don't +think our child's cause can be helped by--by lies, Mrs. Van Antwerp," +she said. + +Mrs. Bobby felt herself rebuked. "Well, I am not given to lies myself, +as a rule," she explained, apologetically, "but in a case like this it +seems to me that the end justifies the means. It's a doctrine brought +into discredit, I know, by the Jesuits, but still it seems to have a +certain foundation in common-sense." + +"I don't know anything about the Jesuits," said Miss Cornelia, with +some stiffness, "but I shall try to act as our Church would advise, +even--even if Elizabeth"--here her voice broke. + +"I think," said Bobby Van Antwerp, coming to the rescue, "that Miss +Cornelia is right, Eleanor. It is much better to tell the exact truth, +and Fenton will make the best of it.--Good Heavens," he said +afterwards to his wife, "you don't suppose that the poor lady could +invent a plausible story, or even keep back anything that wouldn't be +brought out in cross-examination and make a worse effect than if she +gave it of her own accord!" + +But upon Miss Cornelia the opposite side of the question was beginning +to make an impression. Her mind moved slowly. It was not easy for her +to break from old tradition. Her conscience had hitherto recognized +the broadly drawn line between right and wrong; no indefinite, subtle +gradations. As she had said once to Elizabeth, fully meaning it, one +could always do right if one tried. But if--if one could not tell what +the right was?... + +Miss Joanna, sitting opposite to her in the twilight, broke the +silence hesitatingly. "I suppose, sister," she said, "I suppose you +remember--exactly what the poor child said--that morning? You +haven't"--Miss Joanna caught her breath--"you haven't forgotten?" +There was a note of entreaty in her voice. + +Miss Cornelia could see it so plainly; the breakfast table and the +paper with those startling headlines, and the look on Elizabeth's +face, when she had made that extraordinary assertion. A confession of +guilt! That was the way in which it would be construed--there seemed +no way out of it. Miss Cornelia did not think that the most merciful +jury could acquit her after that. And yet the child was innocent--Miss +Cornelia knew that as surely as she knew that the Bible was inspired. +Was it reasonable, was it right that she should be required to give +evidence against her? Over Miss Cornelia's mind there swept a sudden, +sharp sense of injustice, a passionate rebellion against fate. + +But a life-long habit of truth-telling is hard to overcome. She +answered Miss Joanna after a moment. "I--I haven't forgotten, sister," +she said, and the hot tears scorched her eyeballs. + +Miss Joanna put away her knitting with a hopeless sigh. "Well, of +course, sister, you must speak the truth," she said, drearily, +"but--it does seem hard." Then she went out of the room, crying +quietly. + +Miss Cornelia sat motionless in the twilight, while that new tumult of +rebellion still raged within her. Ah, yes, it seemed more than +hard--it seemed cruel, unjust, that such a thing should be required of +her. Those strange people, the Jesuits, whom she had always held in +horror, had some reason on their side after all. There were cases to +which the simple, old-fashioned rules of right and wrong did not +apply, which were extraordinary, unprecedented.... Miss Cornelia could +not help asking herself--with a thrill of self-condemnation, indeed, +and yet another feeling which defended the question--whether in +certain circumstances, the wrong were not more to be commended, wiser, +better than the right. + +She spent a sleepless night, thinking it over. The whole foundations +of her life, of her faith seemed shaken. She looked the next morning +so exhausted, when she went down as usual to The Tombs, that Elizabeth +at once divined that some new misfortune had happened, and it was not +long before she drew it out of her. + +She sat for a long time very still, one hand clasping Miss Cornelia's, +the fingers of the other tapping on the ledge of the wall beside her. + +"Of course, auntie," she said at last, quietly, "you must tell exactly +what happened. There's no good to be gained by lies; at least"--she +made an attempt at a smile--"my own success in that line hasn't been +very striking. I was a little out of my head that morning, and I don't +remember exactly what I said! but whatever it was"--she raised her +head proudly--"I don't want anything kept back. Let them know the +whole truth; then, if they condemn me, well and good. At least I +shan't have anything"--her voice faltered--"anything _more_ to +reproach myself with." + +"Elizabeth!" The older woman gazed up at her admiringly. "You are so +brave--you are a lesson to me! But you--you don't realize, my +darling--" sobs choked her voice. + +"Oh, yes--I realize." A pale smile flitted across the girl's face. "I +have realized--quite clearly--all these months. But that's no reason, +auntie, why you should save me by lies." + +And then she turned the subject, and began to talk calmly enough, +about one of the women prisoners, in whose case she took a keen +interest. Nothing more was said about her own affairs. She had +relapsed, since that conversation months before with Mrs. Bobby, into +her old reserve, and spoke very little of herself. The cooler weather +was helping her. She seemed stronger, and always quite calm. Miss +Cornelia went away, feeling rebuked for her own cowardice. Elizabeth +was right, she thought with a pang of self-reproach; nothing but the +truth must be told in her defence. But meanwhile Miss Cornelia tried +to reconcile two opposite instincts; offering up day and night two +apparently irreconcilable petitions; that she might be enabled to +speak the truth exactly, and yet do no harm to her niece's cause. + + + + +_Chapter XXXV_ + + +It was the first day of Elizabeth's trial. She could hardly realize +that it had come--this event which they had anticipated so long, the +thought of which had lately crowded out every other. There was nothing +alarming about the present proceedings--the appearance of one jury-man +after another, generally followed in each case by a peremptory +challenge. One was objected to because he was thought to have formed a +favorable opinion, another an unfavorable one, and still another +because he was apparently incapable of forming any opinion at all. If +she had not been on trial for her life, she might have thought it +dull. + +Her gaze wandered to that wide court-room window opposite, from which +she could see an expanse of roofs, flag-staffs and chimneys, full of +charm and excitement after the unbroken outline of blank walls, which +for many months had bounded her view. Then, forgetting herself, she +glanced about the room, quickly turned and shrank back, while the +color rushed into her white face. There were some women whom she knew, +thickly veiled, in the crowd behind her--women who were against her. +Those who were her friends had the consideration to stay away. And +there were others whom she did not know, who crowded as close to the +bar as they could, eying her with eager curiosity, making remarks +about her in a stage whisper. As the heroine of this sensational case, +she was a disappointment both in dress and appearance. + +"Well, her hair waves prettily"--the words came distinctly to +Elizabeth's ears in a lull in the proceeding--"but that's about all. I +don't see why she was ever called a beauty, do you?" + +"Why, no, indeed. Her features aren't regular--not a bit. And isn't +she thin and white!" + +"Hush!" a kindlier voice broke in, suppressing the others. "It's no +wonder, poor thing. Most people would lose their looks, if they'd been +through what she has." + +A pang shot through Elizabeth none the less distinct because the +reason was, in view of what was going on, so trifling and absurd. She +had dressed herself that morning with unusual care, resolved to +present as far as possible an undisturbed front to the world; and she +had not realized that the plain black gown, and the unrelieved +sombreness of the black hat, which would once have thrown into more +dazzling relief her fresh young beauty, now emphasized with startling +plainness the change in her appearance. For a moment, the fact forced +itself upon her and hurt even then. When a woman has always been +regarded as a beauty, it is hard to become accustomed to a different +point of view. After all, what difference did it make? She had not +realized the effect which her looks were supposed to produce on the +jury. + +For a while the prospect of any jury at all seemed dubious. The hours +passed, the day came to an end, and there were exactly two men in the +box. It was not till the end of the third day that the number was +complete--twelve most unhappy men, whose faces Eleanor Van Antwerp +scanned eagerly. Some, she decided, were kind; others--too logical; +all of them were more or less intelligent. There were one or two, she +thought, to whom the pathos of Elizabeth's pale and faded looks might +appeal with an eloquence that fresh coloring and rounded curves would +have lacked entirely. Upon these men she based her hopes. + +And so the trial, once fairly started, dragged on its weary length. +Mrs. Bobby spent her days there, sitting beside Elizabeth; her whole +life, just then, seemed bounded by the court-house walls. She had no +interest in anything outside. And Elizabeth's aunts, too, came every +day. It was pathetic to see these timid, elderly women, plunged for +the first time in their sheltered lives into this fierce glare of +publicity, under which they bore up unflinchingly, in the effort to +show to all the world their firm faith in their niece's ultimate +acquittal. + +As for Elizabeth, she had little hope; but neither had she, except at +times, any great fear. The worst had been that first day, and now she +was used to being stared at; used even to the thought that she was +being tried for her life. The scene and its accessories--the +listening, eager crowd behind her, the judge before her with his +impassive face, in which she thought she could perceive, now and +again--or did her hopes deceive her?--a gleam of sympathy; the jury +weary but resigned, the reporters taking notes, scanning her with eyes +that noted every detail of her manner and bearing, placed upon them +Heaven knows what construction! Bobby Van Antwerp moving restlessly +about, holding long conferences with the lawyers; her counsel and the +District Attorney wrangling, glaring at each other over the heads of +unfortunate witnesses--the whole thing lost its terrors, grew to be an +accepted part of her life's routine. + +The evidence at first was technical. There was much she did not +understand--she wondered if the jury did. There were the doctors, +showing with many long words and tedious explanations, with what sort +of poison the murder had been committed; and then there were the +handwriting experts, with still longer words and more tedious +explanations. Now--what was it that they had brought out? Those +unfortunate letters which she remembered so well having written, in +great haste and anxiety. The experts were pointing out numerous points +of resemblance between them and another piece of paper, which she had +never seen before. And now it was the secret marriage they were +proving--though what was the use of that, when no one denied it? The +question of motive was absolutely clear; the District Attorney had +expatiated upon it at great length in his opening speech. + +All this Elizabeth grasped more or less distinctly. She realized that +the evidence was strong against her. But she could not, weak and dazed +as she was, keep her mind on it. The voice of the witnesses would +grow indistinct, a mist would pass over the anxious faces around her, +a lull would come in the nervous tension of the atmosphere; the blue +sky, which she saw from the window, would seem very near, and she +would float off into phases of oblivion, from which she would be +roused, perhaps, by a touch on her arm, or a voice in her ear. +"Listen, darling, that was a point in your favor," her aunts or +Eleanor Van Antwerp would say. + +These points were few and far between. But there was one which +Elizabeth understood--she hoped that the jury did. + +Mr. Fenton was examining one of the medical experts for the +prosecution, a man who had had large experience in poisoning cases. +The counsel for the defence was putting him through series of +questions, the drift of which was not altogether plain. What sort of a +crime did he consider poisoning? An atrocious one, was it +not?--generally committed by hardened criminals? Had the witness ever +been in contact with a case of poisoning where the whole scheme had +been concocted and carried out by a girl of twenty, far removed by +education, friends and antecedents from any connection with crime? No, +the witness could not, in his own experience, recall any such case, +but he had no doubt that it had been known, though he agreed in +response to Mr. Fenton's next question, that it would be slightly +abnormal. And here the District Attorney interposed with one of those +objections which each lawyer seemed to make mechanically, whenever a +question proved inconvenient to his side; but the Judge decided in +favor of Mr. Fenton, and he went on imperturbably, shifting his ground +a little. + +"Poisoning is a crime--don't you think so?--that calls for a great +deal of thought and calculation?" + +"Yes," the witness thought it would undoubtedly. + +"The person who planned it would have plenty of time to consider the +consequences?" + +The witness responded: "I should think so." + +"He or she--whoever it was that planned it--would be probably of a +cold-blooded and calculating disposition?" + +"Probably." + +"And not likely, do you think so?--to suffer from hysterical remorse +as soon as the act was accomplished?" + +Here the opposing counsel again intervened, and was again silenced by +the Judge. Mr. Fenton repeated his question. + +"I ask you," he said, addressing the witness with a certain solemnity, +"as a man who has had experience with criminals and human nature, +whether you think it likely that a woman, strong-minded and +cold-blooded enough to commit this diabolical crime, on hearing of its +accomplishment--a thing she has been expecting for days--would be +seized with a fit of hysterical remorse, would utter wild, +incriminating words, in the presence of--no matter whom, any one who +chanced to be present, and would rush up at once to look at the body +of the man whom she had murdered?" + +The witness hesitated. "It--it doesn't seem likely," he admitted at +last. + +"It would be much more, don't you think," said Mr. Fenton quietly, +"like the conduct of an innocent woman, who was suffering from a +nervous shock, and had no thought of controlling her actions because +she had no idea of being suspected?" + +The witness, after a long pause: "Yes, it--would certainly seem so." + +"It certainly does," said Mr. Fenton. "Thank you, doctor. I have no +more questions to ask." And he sat down with the air of one who has +scored a point. + +Thereupon the prosecution, as if to prove the strength of the evidence +which he had anticipated, placed upon the stand Bridget O'Flaherty, +formerly maid-servant to the Misses Van Vorst, who swore upon her +solemn oath that the prisoner had in her hearing declared herself +guilty of the murder of Paul Halleck. Yes, those were her very words, +the maid declared--"that she had killed him," and she had added that +"it had come at last--just as she despaired of it" or something of the +kind, referring no doubt to the fact that Halleck had kept the poison +some time before taking it. The woman's testimony was full and +circumstantial, and she gave the impression of telling the truth. + +Mr. Fenton, on cross-examination, proved that she had been dismissed +without a character from the services of the Misses Van Vorst, also +that she had been paid for her evidence by a yellow journal. Its +effect was distinctly undermined when he permitted her to leave the +stand. And with that the prosecution called upon Miss Cornelia to +corroborate the maid's statement. + +Miss Cornelia was deathly white; her head shook, her thin, silvery +curls fluttered, as if they had caught the infection of her own +nervousness. In one hand she grasped her smelling-salts desperately, +with the other she revolved in an agitated way a small black fan. A +murmur of sympathy ran through the court-room as she took her place. +Even the District Attorney seemed sorry for her and put his opening +questions with unwonted gentleness. His tone was still bland when he +came to the important point--had she noticed anything peculiar in her +niece's manner on the morning after the murder? + +Miss Cornelia's answer was low, but it was quite audible. "She +was--shocked, naturally." + +"Naturally. But did she seem surprised?" + +Miss Cornelia's answer was this time still lower, and given with more +hesitation. "I--I think so." + +"You mean you are not sure?" + +"I--I was so upset myself"--began Miss Cornelia. + +"That you did not notice?" + +"No, I--I did not notice," said Miss Cornelia, relieved. + +"You thought that her manner was unremarkable, and simply what you +might have expected under the circumstances?" + +"Yes, I--I thought so," said Miss Cornelia. She added to herself the +mental reservation that she had no idea what sort of manner under the +circumstances, she should have expected. + +The District Attorney assumed a more impressive manner. "Miss Van +Vorst," he said, "do you believe in the sacredness of an oath?" + +"Yes, I--I certainly." + +"You would not speak anything but the truth?" + +"No," said Miss Cornelia, this time more firmly. + +"Then I ask you," said the District Attorney, suddenly drawing himself +up to his full height, and fixing his eyes upon her, "I ask you, on +your sacred oath, did your niece, or did she not, on the morning after +the murder of Paul Halleck, say to you that she had killed him, or +words to that effect?" + +There was a long silence. Miss Cornelia looked desperately about her; +at the Judge, whose face showed more than ever a touch of human +sympathy; at Mr. Fenton, white with anxiety, trying to telegraph a +hundred things which she could not understand; at the jury, bending +eagerly forward; then back at those most interested,--her sister in an +agony of suspense, Mrs. Van Antwerp flushed and trembling in her vain +desire to intervene. Lastly, Miss Cornelia's haggard eyes sought +Elizabeth herself; the girl was sitting white and rigid, motionless as +a statue, her hands clenched, her eyes resolutely bent upon the floor. +If it was a terrible moment for her; how much worse was it for the +aunt who had brought her up, who was now called upon by a refinement +of cruelty to destroy what seemed to be her only chance. Oh, for the +courage--it seemed to her almost noble!--to utter one good lie! But +there were the lynx-like eyes of the District Attorney fixed upon her, +there was the oath she had taken, weighing upon her conscientious +soul.... Suddenly she felt, with a sense of despair, that her silence +had already spoken louder than speech. And, even as the thought passed +through her mind, her answer framed itself on her lips and seemed to +be uttered without her own volition; one word, barely audible, but +caught at once and registered by twenty reporters, while a suppressed +sigh went the round of the court-room. + +"Yes." + +"Thank you," said the District Attorney. "That is all I wished to +know." + + + + +_Chapter XXXVI_ + + +There was still cross-examination. + +Mr. Fenton, too, began with unimportant questions. He gave Miss +Cornelia, who looked ready to faint, time to recover herself a little. +The questions he asked were easy to answer. Had her niece, in the +course of her education, given them much trouble, had she ever +deceived them, kept anything from them before this fatal secret? Ah, +no, no! Miss Cornelia gave her answers tremulously, yet with a fervent +relief, an eager desire to make herself heard throughout the +court-room. + +"Then with your knowledge of your niece's character," Mr. Fenton +asked, speaking almost carelessly, "you didn't think of her as the +sort of person likely to commit a crime?" + +Miss Cornelia drew herself up with sudden dignity and her voice was +plainly audible, and without a tremor. "Most certainly not," she said. + +"Then how," inquired Mr. Fenton calmly, "did you account for her +extraordinary assertion that she had committed this murder?" + +Miss Cornelia hardly hesitated. "I thought she was out of her mind," +she said. "I couldn't account for it in any other way." + +"It never occurred to you for a moment that it was true?" + +"Not for a moment." The words came out indignantly. + +"You naturally did not suppose that were she really guilty, she would +proclaim it quite so readily as that?" + +Miss Cornelia stared. "I never," she said, simply, "thought of such a +thing as her being guilty." + +"But you asked her, did you not, for some explanation of her words?" + +"I asked her," faltered Miss Cornelia, "what she meant by saying such +a dreadful thing. And she said--she said"---- + +"Yes," said Mr. Fenton, encouragingly. "Take your time and tell us the +exact truth. What did she say?" + +"She seemed to be rather dazed--She said that she had wished so much +for it to happen that when it did, it seemed almost like an answer to +her wishes--as if she were accountable for it." + +"And you accepted her explanation?" said Mr. Fenton. "It seemed to you +plausible?" + +"I knew what she meant--yes. But I could see that she was over-wrought +and excited, or she wouldn't have thought of it." + +"Did she seem distressed over Halleck's death?" + +Miss Cornelia hesitated. "N--not at first," she said. "She couldn't +seem to realize it." + +"And afterwards?"---- + +"Yes, she seemed distressed then. I thought," said Miss Cornelia +firmly "that she felt very badly indeed when she realized it." + +"And there was nothing in her manner that could induce you to believe +that she expected it, or knew a thing about it beyond what she read in +the papers?" + +"Nothing." + +With this word, firmly pronounced, Miss Cornelia's ordeal came to an +end; she descended white and dazed. Elizabeth leaned over as she +returned to her place and pressed her hand with a faint little smile. +"It's all right, auntie, I'm glad you spoke the truth." And so the +episode passed. + +"She really has done no more harm than we expected," Bobby Van Antwerp +observed to his wife. "It is one of those things which sound much +worse than they really are. After all, what does it amount to? The +hysterical assertion of an excited girl! A guilty woman is more +careful what she says." + +"I will tell Elizabeth," said his wife, in relief, "what you say." But +though she found an opportunity after the day's session, to whisper +this encouragement into the girl's ear, Elizabeth listened vacantly +and did not seem fully to grasp it. The maid's evidence, her aunt's +corroboration, had brought up vividly to her mind the danger that +existed all the time behind these slow, technical deliberations. That +night the horrible waking dream, from which for awhile she had been +free, returned more startlingly real than ever, and the face of the +Judge who sentenced her was the same face in which, during the long +days in the court-room, she had thought she detected some involuntary +gleams of sympathy. It had seemed a kind face in the day-time, but in +her dream it was inexorably stern. + +The next morning, at the trial, her mind did not wander; she kept it +resolutely fixed on the evidence. Mr. D'Hauteville was on the stand, +and she wondered what more fatal revelations were to be made of her +words and actions on that unfortunate morning, when she hardly knew +what she said or did. But no new developments were brought out. There +was no trace in Mr. D'Hauteville's evidence or his easy, unembarrassed +manner of the suspicions which he had been perhaps the first person in +town to entertain. + +Yes, he had seen Miss Van Vorst on the morning after the murder, and +had himself taken her into the studio. Was there anything peculiar in +her manner? Certainly; she seemed much distressed, as was natural, he +thought, under the circumstances. Had she tried to possess herself of +the fatal flask, or of any other incriminating objects, as for +instance her own letters? No, most emphatically no. Was it true, as +the elevator man had already stated, that she had defended herself +against his accusations? He could not remember anything of the kind; +certainly he had not accused her, as he had no reason to suspect her. + +Mr. Fenton on cross-examination, drew from him a description of her +tears, of the fearless way in which she had entered, her apparent +indifference to being observed. Was it, Mr. Fenton demanded, the +manner of a guilty woman? The witness fully agreed that it was not. +And then he left the stand, saying to himself philosophically that all +was fair in the cause of a beautiful and unfortunate girl, whom he had +admired extremely, and with whom his friend Gerard had been, and might +be still, desperately in love. + +The next witness was the Brooklyn tradesman, whose evidence had been +already so much exploited by the yellow journals that it lacked the +force of novelty. He deposed to having sold the flask on the morning +of the twenty-third of December, to a woman in black, thickly veiled, +slight and tall, and with reddish hair. The witness was quite sure +about the date, and as to the time he was less explicit, but convinced +that it was somewhere between the hours of ten and twelve. He was a +middle-aged man with a plain, honest face, and evidently anxious to +tell what he knew and no more. When the District Attorney, in a +dramatic manner, desired him to look at the defendant, and declare if +she were the woman to whom he sold the flask, he seemed to shrink in +distress from the terrible responsibility thus placed upon him. + +"I--it is so long ago," he protested, "and--you--must remember that +she wore a veil." + +"Which entirely obscured her face?"---- + +"No, not entirely," the witness reluctantly admitted. + +"Look at the defendant," the District Attorney insisted, "and tell the +court if her general appearance recalls that of the woman to whom you +sold the flask." + +He turned to Elizabeth and requested her to rise. She grew a shade +paler and stared at him for a moment as if startled; then slowly, she +obeyed him, and stood facing the witness, who brought reluctantly his +anxious gaze to bear upon her. She was ashy-white, but she held her +head erect, her eyes met his without flinching. Thus they stood for +fully a minute, and the silence in the court-room was tense with +nervous excitement. Then the witness spoke. + +"I--there is a certain resemblance," he said. + +"Then you identify her?" said the District Attorney. + +The witness was silent. He looked again at Elizabeth. She was +trembling now, and caught hold of a chair as if for support. The +witness cleared his throat. He was thinking that he had a daughter of +about Elizabeth's age. + +"I--I really could not tell," he began. + +"Take your time," said the District Attorney, impressively. "This is a +very important point." + +And then there was again a long silence. In the midst of it the sun, +bursting through a gray mass of clouds, touched Elizabeth's hair with +a wave of light. It stood out, a shining halo, against the rim of her +black hat. The witness stared at it as if fascinated. Then he uttered +a sound--it might almost have been a sob--of relief. + +"That is not the same woman," he said. "The hair is quite different! +That other woman's hair was a much deeper red--it didn't shine and +glisten. And her whole air, the way she held herself was different. I +am sure it is not the same." + +And this opinion, once announced, he clung to tenaciously--nothing the +District Attorney said could shake it. Mr. Fenton would not even +cross-examine, and there was great rejoicing in the ranks of the +defense. + +But the next day the prosecution placed upon the stand a druggist's +clerk, who remembered having sold a bottle of arsenic to a woman +dressed in black on the morning of the twenty-third of December. The +occurrence was impressed on his mind because he had demurred as to +selling poison, and she had presented a physician's certificate. She +was handsomely dressed and seemed like a lady; he had noticed +particularly that her hair was reddish. And when asked to identify +Elizabeth, he swore unhesitatingly that she was the same woman. + +Upon Mr. Fenton's cross-examination, it became evident what important +questions may hang on the color of a woman's hair. + +_Mr. Fenton_: "You said, did you not, that the woman's hair was red?" + +_Witness_, cautiously: "I said, reddish. That's not quite the same +thing." + +_Mr. Fenton_: "Explain the difference." + +_Witness_, confused: "Well, I--I don't know. I meant to say it was +sort of--sort of light"---- + +"You meant to say, in other words, that it was not black?" + +_Witness_, recovering himself and speaking stubbornly: "No, I meant to +say that it was reddish--sort of sandy"---- + +"Ah--like the District Attorney's moustache, for instance?" + +There was laughter in the court-room. The District Attorney's +moustache was a brilliant carrot color, which at the opposing +counsel's words, was emulated by his face. + +"I object to these personalities," he said. + +Mr. Fenton was instructed by the Judge to be more serious, but held to +his point. + +"Your Honor, it is necessary to find out what the witness means by the +vague word 'reddish.' If he thinks it applies to the District +Attorney's moustache"---- + +"But I don't," objected the aggrieved witness, to the renewed +amusement of the court-room. "I call that carroty." + +"Then point out, among people present, what hair you consider +reddish." + +The witness's eyes wandered till they alighted upon the distinctly +sandy locks of one of the experts for the prosecution. "I call that +hair reddish," he announced, with some satisfaction at finding a way +out of his dilemma. + +"Ah--now oblige me, by looking at the defendant's hair and tell us if +you think it is like that of this gentleman." + +The witness glanced helplessly at Elizabeth. "It--isn't much like it," +he admitted. + +"And yet you describe both as 'reddish?'" + +The witness was desperate. "Well, I--I don't exactly know"--he said. + +"What you mean by 'reddish?'" said Mr. Fenton. + +"Well--no," said the witness. + +"I see that you don't. It's not necessary for you to tell us that. You +are color blind evidently, and by 'reddish' you simply mean anything +between black and tow-color. But you can't swear away a woman's life +with such vague descriptions as this. You can go now. I have no more +questions to ask." + +The crestfallen witness gladly retreated. But in spite of his +discomfiture, his evidence had been a serious blow to the defense, and +when, a few days later, the prosecution closed its case, it was +admitted on every side to be a strong one. + +The defense opened quietly enough. Mr. Fenton, too, brought out his +handwriting experts, who were prepared with an equally startling array +of technical details, to swear to the exact opposite of what had been +solemnly declared by the experts for the prosecution. The court +settled down into a dreamy mood, and the spectators for the most part +went to sleep. + +There was a break in the monotony, and one which created much +excitement, when Elizabeth took the stand on her own behalf. She had +been very anxious to do this, and Mr. Fenton had reluctantly +consented, with many misgivings and elaborate instructions, to which +he saw, to his alarm, that she listened almost vacantly. But when she +began to testify his doubts disappeared. She gave her evidence very +simply and directly, and there was something in the soft, low tones of +her voice, an indefinable ring of girlishness, of youth and +inexperience, which carried with it an illogical thrill of conviction. + +She had never, she said, bought the flask which contained the poison, +nor had she ever seen one exactly like it. She had not gone to +Brooklyn on the twenty-third of December--she had never gone there in +her life. She had spent the morning of the twenty-third of December at +the Metropolitan Museum. She had not bought the bottle of arsenic, and +knew nothing of it. She had no reason to expect Paul Halleck's death. +She had read of it in the papers. No, she had not meant the assertion +literally when she said that she had killed him; she had been startled +because his death had seemed to come in direct answer to her wishes, +and she had somehow felt accountable for it. Yes, it was a morbid +idea--she realized it now, but she had not been at all well at the +time. That was the reason she had gone up to the studio; she had been +in a state of nervous excitement and hardly knew what she did. No, she +had not thought of the police suspecting her in consequence; such an +idea had never entered her mind. + +On the whole, Mr. Fenton was satisfied with the effect that she was +producing. He had made the agreeable discovery that he was beginning +to believe in her himself; and if this conviction was impressing +itself more and more upon his own suspicious mind, it must, he +thought, be all-powerful with the jury, whom he had already mentally +appraised as kindly men, anxious to escape from an unpleasant duty, +and willing to give the prisoner the full benefit of every doubt. + +But when Mr. Fenton at last sat down and the District Attorney took +his place, then, indeed, began a very bad quarter of an hour for +Elizabeth. Question by question, the lawyer drew out of her her +reasons for keeping her marriage secret and for wishing Halleck dead, +her engagement to Gerard and the manner in which she had deceived him. +Her color changed from white to red and back again to ghastly pallor, +her voice faltered and broke piteously, but still the terrible inquiry +proceeded. Behind her, her aunts were biting their lips in agony and +Mrs. Bobby was beside herself with indignation. "I'd give anything in +the world," she said to her husband, "to get even with that man." +Elizabeth's counsel was keeping up a running fire of objections, but +in vain. The District Attorney got in his questions somehow or +another, and Elizabeth answered them as best she could. + +"Why," she was asked among other things, "was your engagement to Mr. +Gerard broken off?" + +"Because," she faltered, "I--I told him of my marriage." + +"Why did you suddenly tell him, when you had kept it concealed so +long?" + +Elizabeth looked up with a piteous appeal in her eyes, which was +answered by an objection on the part of her counsel, and she was told +by the Judge that she need answer no question unless she wished. But +by this time she had recovered herself. + +"I am quite willing to answer," she said. "I told him because I was +sorry I had deceived him. I had no other reason." + +"You are quite sure that you _did_ tell him, and that he did not--find +out for himself?" + +There was an insulting tone to the question, but she answered it +steadily, without anger. "I am quite sure," she said. + +"Who was with you on the day that you say you went to the Metropolitan +Museum?" This was the next question, put with disconcerting +suddenness. + +She turned still whiter, if that were possible, than before, and her +answer was barely audible. "Mr. Gerard." + +"Was any one else with you?" + +"No one." + +"Is he the only person who can corroborate your statement?" + +"Yes." + +"Then it is a pity he is not here." + +She was silent. + +"Mr. Gerard," observed Mr. Fenton, "when he went abroad left no +address. We made efforts to communicate with him, but so far, we have +not succeeded. It is most unfortunate." + +"Most unfortunate, certainly," echoed the District Attorney, "for the +defendant. But perhaps he was not anxious to be summoned. We have +heard of witnesses who went to the ends of the earth to avoid it." + +He turned to Elizabeth. "Do you know of any reason," he asked, "why he +should not wish to come?" + +Elizabeth's hands were clasped together nervously. "I--I cannot tell." + +"Did you send for him, as soon as you knew that his testimony was +needed?" + +"I did not." + +"_Why_ did you not?" said the District Attorney, in his sneering +voice. + +The color flushed into her face. "Because I--because I"--Her voice +faltered and broke. "I did not _wish_ him sent for," she said, with a +sudden flash of defiance. Then she turned deathly white, and put up +her handkerchief to her lips. "I--will not answer any more questions," +she added, faintly. + +After all, it had been very bad--worse, far worse, than she had +expected. She felt as she left the stand that she had done her cause +only harm. It seemed to her moreover, that whether she were acquitted +or found guilty, she could never, after the abasement of that +cross-examination, hold up her head again. + +The outlook was gloomy, and the case for the defence was almost +closed. But when Mrs. Bobby arrived in court the next morning, she was +greeted by Mr. Fenton with a broad smile. + +"We must put the handwriting experts on again," he said, cheerfully. +"It will be dull, but anything to gain time. I have had a cable from +Mr. Gerard. He will be here in a few days." + + + + +_Chapter XXXVII_ + + +Julian Gerard paced impatiently the deck of the steamer on which, for +eight miserable days, he had existed without sight of a newspaper. It +was early dawn; the outlines of the Goddess of Liberty loomed +uncertainly through a thick fog. He remembered how, when he had last +seen his native shores, he had been distraught with bitter anger +against the woman to whom his heart now turned with an eager longing, +a passionate remorse. + +For the hundredth time his mind analyzed and condemned that strange +whim, the expression of a passing but very real phase of his +disappointment and disillusion, which had led him to cut himself off +from the world he had left behind. He had no wish to hear from home, +to be reminded of home ties, or of the woman whom he had resolved to +forget. Beneath his self-repressed exterior there was a strain of +adventure in his blood, which made him turn, in a crisis like this, to +the primitive resources of uncivilized life. + +He had left home with no definite plans; but in London he met a +friend, who was about to start for his farm in South Africa. Gerard at +once decided to accompany him. South Africa was as good a place as +any other, when all one desired was solitude and hardship, and to get +away from one's self, and the unsatisfactory tone of the world. + +The farm was deep in the interior of the country, many miles distant +from railroad or telegraph station. For months the two men saw no one +but the natives; they had no connection with the outside world. Gerard +rode and hunted and studied, and took notes on the condition of the +country. It was not a bad life on the whole, with a certain charm for +a man satiated with all that wealth can give. He might even have +enjoyed it, if he could have forgotten what had driven him to it, or +erased from his memory the one face which haunted him. + +The worst of it was, that she always seemed to be unhappy; he always +saw her as he had left her, white and sad, with pathetic eyes. The +thought of her which he had carried away that night seemed to have +entirely effaced his earlier impressions of her, as she had first +flashed upon him in the vivid radiance of her fresh beauty, as he had +seen her often in a ball-room, a being meant only for smiles. He had +never pictured her then as suffering; but now, he could not think of +her in any other way. + +One evening, as he and his friend sat together smoking, he found +himself impelled, as it were, in spite of himself, to tell his story. +The doubts, the misgivings which tortured him had grown too strong; it +was a relief to put them into words. He spoke low and bitterly, in +hurried phrases that were evidently the expression of his constant +thoughts; not excusing the conduct of the woman who had deceived him, +dwelling upon it rather with some harshness, for the very wish perhaps +which he was conscious of to do the reverse. The other man, as he +spoke, scanned his face keenly. At the end he made only one comment. +"And yet she loved you?" + +Gerard stared at him for a moment, the color flushing into his dark +cheek. And then his face softened. Yes, it was not his money and +position--he could at least do her that justice. "I believe she did," +he said at last in a low voice. + +"Then, for Heaven's sake," the other man flashed out, "what more do +you want? Why, good Lord, if a woman _loved_ me!"--and here he broke +off and sat in silence, staring fixedly into the fire. + +Gerard paced the floor that night, and his friend in the next room +smiled grimly to hear him. The same smile flickered across his +impassive features when Gerard, the next morning, announced his +departure. His reasons were plausible; he wished to go about the +country and study for himself the political situation of which he had +hitherto seen little or nothing. His host, after that first +involuntary smile, heard him through unmoved and expressed his +approval. He escorted him to the nearest town, wrung his hand at +parting, and went back, with a grimmer look than ever, to his own +solitude. + +Gerard had no plans; he was conscious of only one wish--to be where he +could have news of home. At Cape Town he met the detective, who had +followed him, led astray by various false clues, till he had at last +found the right track. An hour later the two men started for New +York. And now at last the wretched journey was over, and Gerard paced +the deck of the ship and wondered miserably what new developments +might have occurred. + +There was a sensation in the court-room when he appeared. There had +been rumors for days that the trial was being delayed for the arrival +of an important witness, but it had hardly been expected that this +would prove to be Elizabeth's missing lover, who had disappeared from +view, as the prosecution had asserted, to avoid testifying against +her. At least that reason for his absence could not be true, since it +was Mr. Fenton who was bringing him in, with an evident air of +triumph. Gerard himself had a worn and haggard look, which showed even +through the sun-burn which had darkened his face. He had grown very +thin, and there were white threads in his hair which were not visible +a year before; his features were set in lines of absolute, impassive +rigidity. He glanced neither to the right nor left, but sat down at +once in the ranks of witnesses. + +There was a short pause of breathless expectancy, and then the +prisoner was brought in. Her aunts and Mrs. Van Antwerp were with her +as usual, and behind followed the police officer--a little in the +background, and with the air he considerately wore of effacing himself +as much as possible. Those who were near Gerard saw him wince and +flush painfully. He had been prepared for this, but the reality +shocked him, almost beyond his powers of self-control. How changed she +was! Paler even than he remembered her, and thin and worn till, but +for her eyes and hair, he might scarcely have known her. It gave him a +shock, too, somehow to see her all in black; he had always pictured +her, illogically, in white as she had been that last evening.... For a +moment she hardly seemed the same woman he had thought of, dreamed of, +all these months. A rush of remorseful tenderness swept over him, all +the greater because she was so changed. He would have liked to go to +her before them all, and proclaim to the whole world his love and +faith. But what he actually did was to turn his eyes away, to spare +her. + +She knew that he was there. She had read the news in the trembling joy +depicted on her aunts' faces, before Eleanor Van Antwerp had +whispered: "Darling, prepare yourself! He has come--he has come to +save you." It hardly seemed a surprise, now that it had happened; she +had always known in her heart that he would come. But she was not +glad, she did not wish to be saved--by him. She still felt as she had +felt from the first, that she would rather die than sit in her place +of humiliation and see the pity in his eyes.... Ah, thank Heaven, he +had turned them away; for him, no doubt, as for her it was a painful +moment. He felt sorry for her, of course--a woman whom he had loved +once, who was being punished more than she deserved. But there was an +invincible pride in her nature which rebelled against his pity, which +would have preferred condemnation, contempt. Yet, after all, pity was +all that she deserved; she had never been worthy of his love. Let her +take what poor remnant of it was left and be thankful. Yet deep down +in her heart, there was, in spite of herself, a feeling of joy that +the world would know that he had not forsaken her. + +There was little time for these conflicting thoughts to oppose each +other in Elizabeth's weary brain. Gerard was called to the stand, and +then she could do nothing but listen--and listen gratefully--while in +quiet, even tones, speaking very simply and to the point, he +corroborated all that she herself had testified. Yes, he remembered +perfectly the morning of the twenty-third of December. He had spent it +with Miss Van Vorst at the Metropolitan Museum. They had been at the +Museum for several hours, and he had left her at her home at half-past +one. Had he known then of her marriage to Halleck? No, not then, but +soon afterwards. She had told him on New Year's Eve. No, he had not +suspected it, or drawn out the avowal in any way. It had been entirely +voluntary. Naturally their engagement had been at an end, and he had +gone abroad immediately. That was his evidence. It materially +strengthened the defence on two points; first, that the prisoner had +not bought either the flask or the poison; second, that she had not +expected Paul Halleck's death. + +The District Attorney, realizing this, tried to undermine its +credibility. It was not an easy thing with a man of Gerard's character +and high standing; but after all, a man in love is hardly an +accountable being. The District Attorney dwelt sarcastically on the +improbability of his having remained in ignorance all this time of the +impending trial, and insinuated that he must have had serious +objections to returning, which had been finally overcome by the +efforts of the defense. He asked his questions in a blustering way, +which fell just short of insolence. Gerard answered them quietly, +apparently unmoved. Yes, he admitted, it seemed improbable that he +should not have heard of the trial, but it was nevertheless absolutely +true. He had spent the greater part of his absence on a farm in South +Africa; he had led a rough, solitary life, read no newspapers, +received no letters. He had first heard that his evidence was needed +at Cape town, five weeks before. No, he had not received a letter from +the defendant, urging him to come to her rescue, nor did he believe +that any such letter had been sent. It would have been quite +unnecessary. + +"Your disinterested chivalry, in other words," sneered the District +Attorney, "was sufficient, without such an appeal?" + +"It is not a question of chivalry," said Gerard, coolly, "it is a +question of telling the truth." + +"Which of course you are anxious to do." + +"Of course." + +His imperturbability seemed proof, against all the offensiveness of +the other's manner. The District Attorney, shifting his ground, +questioned him as to the broken engagement; and here he was rejoiced +to find his man more vulnerable. A tremor would cross Gerard's face, +he changed color more than once. But still his answers were given +quietly, in low, measured tones. Yes, it was true that Miss Van Vorst +had kept him in ignorance of her marriage; but he did not think that +her reasons for her silence need be discussed, since they were quite +irrelevant. + +"And you mean to assure us," said the District Attorney, +incredulously, "that she told you at last of her own accord, without +the slightest necessity?" + +"Most certainly." + +"And what she told you then was the only information you received of +her marriage?" + +"Yes." + +"It was the only reason for breaking the engagement?" + +"Yes." + +"And now that that reason no longer exists," said the District +Attorney, "the engagement, I suppose, is likely to be renewed?" + +The question was so unexpected that Mr. Fenton was not ready with an +objection, and Gerard spoke before he could interpose. + +"I don't think that I am bound to answer questions as to what may or +may not occur in the future." + +Mr. Fenton hastily agreed with him, and he was sustained by the judge. +But the District Attorney defended his line of inquiry. + +"Your Honor, it is important for me to show how far this witness is +biassed in favor of the defendant. He has wished to marry her once, it +is possible, apparently, that he may be in the same position again. +You won't deny," he went on, turning to Gerard, "--that there _is_ +such a possibility?" + +Gerard hesitated for perhaps a second. Then he looked the lawyer +squarely, defiantly in the face. He was very pale, but there was an +angry light in his eyes; his voice rang out clearly. "I deny nothing," +he said, "except that my feelings toward Miss Van Vorst have +influenced the truth of anything I said." + +Mr. Fenton again formally entered his objection, and after some +wrangling, question and answer were stricken from the record. Still, +the jury had heard them and could form their own conclusions. Mr. +Fenton was not dissatisfied; there was a romantic element in the +situation which must, he thought, appeal irresistibly to the popular +imagination. And indeed, as Gerard left the stand, the general +sympathy was on his side, even among those who secretly thought that +he had stretched a point here and there, on behalf of the woman he +loved. It was possible that his evidence was false; but the people who +thought thus, if they were men, did not blame him; if they were women, +they admired him rather the more. + +The eyes of the court-room were fixed upon him as he crossed over to +where Elizabeth sat and shook hands with her quietly, as if they had +parted yesterday. And then he seated himself near her, in the little +circle of her supporters. Eleanor Van Antwerp put out her hand to him, +her dark eyes shining through a mist of tears. + +"Julian, you don't know how happy I am to have you back." + +He shuddered, "Don't speak of it, Eleanor. I can never forgive myself +for having gone." + +Elizabeth heard the words, but her eyes were resolutely bent on the +ground, and she refused to take any of the comfort that his presence +might have imparted. It was natural that he should feel remorseful, +eager to show to the world as much as possible that he had not +forsaken her, that he thoroughly believed in her innocence. But for +anything more, such a possibility as the District Attorney had +suggested, which he did not deny, could not, of course, very well deny +under the circumstances?... Ah, no, there could be no question any +more of love between them. Her own pride would not permit it, even if +what she called his pity could influence his judgment to that extent. +And then, with a start, she remembered that she was still on trial for +her life, and that all thoughts of love and marriage were incongruous, +almost grotesque. The case for the defense was closed, the District +Attorney was to make his final address the next day. The thing would +soon be decided, one way or the other. + +The next morning, a box of flowers was brought to her; the white roses +which he had always sent her. For a moment she hesitated, touched them +lovingly, and then at last she took one of them and fastened it in her +belt. "It may bring luck," she murmured, as if to excuse her action, +and then she bent her head, and pressed her lips to its fragrant +petals. + +A little later, when she entered the court-room, the eyes of all were +fixed on the flower. It was the first touch of color that had ever +relieved her black gown. + +"You see," one woman whispered, "it's the sign of innocence." + +Her companion, less easily moved, replied cautiously: "Perhaps." + + + + +_Chapter XXXVIII_ + + +The tide of popular sentiment was turning in Elizabeth's favor. It had +not been with her at first, in spite of her youth and the pathetic +circumstances of her position; nay, against her all the more on that +very account with many people, who feared a display of mawkish +sentiment, and to whom the cold-blooded character of the crime stood +out the more harshly, by contrast with her soft and girlish looks. But +now one thing and another--an intangible something in her manner on +the witness-stand; Gerard's return and his evidence on her behalf; his +apparently unchanged devotion--all this had created a strong revulsion +of feeling, which was increased rather than diminished by the District +Attorney's charge. + +The District Attorney was in a brutal mood. He did not spare +Elizabeth, he left it, he said, to the jury to determine the weight of +Gerard's evidence. For himself, he would not for the world suggest +that a gentleman of Mr. Gerard's high character would testify falsely; +yet he might be--mistaken; he might easily make some slight error in +dates, misled by his--his interest in the defendant. While he talked +Gerard bit his lip, inwardly cursing that dictate of civilization +which had abolished duelling, and made even horsewhipping a doubtful +expedient. Mrs. Bobby was considering ways by which one could be +avenged on "a horrible man, not in society, whom one couldn't snub by +not asking him to dinner, or anything of that kind." Elizabeth felt, +with a new thrill of pain, that she was involving Gerard in her own +disgrace. But Mr. Fenton surveyed the District Attorney unmoved +through half-closed eyes, and said to himself coolly that he was going +too far. + +His own charge was a skillful defense of Gerard's evidence, a +criticism, not too violent, of the District Attorney's brutality, and +an appeal, not too open, to the sympathies of the jury. Elizabeth +flushed as she realized that this was the point, after all; she was to +be saved on issues that would not have been effectual with a man. And +then the Judge's charge began, and she forgot all sense of +humiliation, forgot everything but the thought that her fate hung in +the balance, to be decided one way or the other by those +carefully-balanced, judicial phrases. Did she imagine it, or was +there, through all the calm analysis of evidence, the impartial +weighing of this or that detail, a conviction of her innocence so +decided that it made itself felt almost unconsciously? + +"Strong on our side!" Bobby Van Antwerp's voice, unusually animated +and exultant, sounded in his wife's ear at the end. "The prosecution +are furious--they say it's horribly unfair. But of course, we won't +quarrel with that." + +Eleanor was deathly white; her hands were tightly locked together. At +Bobby's words she gave a little sob of hysterical relief. "Oh, +Bobby," she murmured, under her breath, "thank God that judges are +human, after all! Now, if the jury are anything short of brutes, +they'll acquit her at once and make an end of this." + +But the jury fell short of this test of humanity, and retired to +deliberate. Mrs. Bobby scanned their faces anxiously, as she had done +at the beginning of the trial. They were care-worn and gloomy--naturally, +with a woman's life in their hands; but surely--surely they should +look happier, since it was in their power to save her? + +"I wish, Bobby," she murmured, with that sob again in her throat, but +this time not one of relief, "I wish we had tried if they wouldn't +take money!" + +"Don't, Eleanor," said Bobby. "They're all honest men--and besides, +one can't do such things!" To himself he was thinking that women +really seemed on such occasions as this to be entirely without +principle, and yet that somehow one liked them all the better for it. + +This was at two o'clock. Three, four, five o'clock came, and still +they made no sign. The long deliberation seemed ominous to the anxious +group who waited in a small, dark room on the ground floor of the +court-house, starting at every sound and counting the moments as they +dragged wearily along. Mr. Fenton and the other counsel came +restlessly in and out, with a cheerful air that covered but +indifferently their intense anxiety; Bobby and Julian Gerard stood by +the window, talking occasionally in low tones, more often silent and +gazing at the prison walls that rose up grimly before their eyes. +Elizabeth sat at a small table in the middle of the room, and her +aunts and Mrs. Van Antwerp sat around her in a forlorn circle. It was +a long while since any one had spoken; all consoling suggestions were +exhausted. + +Elizabeth's hands were clasped tightly in her lap, her eyes, wide-open +yet unseeing, stared steadily before her. Vaguely she was conscious +that there were people in the room, that by the window stood the man +whose presence might have mattered more to her at some other time than +anything else on earth; that her aunts and Eleanor Van Antwerp were +beside her, and would bend forward now and then, one or other of them, +to press her hand. In a dull, mechanical way, she was thankful to know +that they were there; yet nothing they said or did could help her, a +great gulf seemed to yawn between her and the outside world.... It is +thus, perhaps, that the dying feel when they see, with their failing +sight, the faces of friends, and know that even love is powerless to +reach them. Elizabeth suffered, during those hours of suspense, the +agony of death a hundred times over. But as the afternoon wore on, +hope faded and the numbness of despair crept over her tortured nerves. + +"I don't like their staying out so long," Bobby Van Antwerp could not +help murmuring to Gerard. "After the charge, I thought they'd let her +off at once. They all want to--that's certain. But there were one or +two of them who looked--infernally conscientious." + +"I don't want any of them"--Gerard began, but stopped. "To go against +his convictions," was what he had meant to add, but the words remained +unspoken. There are limits to even a Puritan conscience. "Good God! +Bobby," he whispered, hoarsely, "a man who could convict her deserves +to be shot!" + +"I agree with you, old man," said Bobby, tranquilly. And then they +once more fell silent, and the shadows lengthened, and some one lit a +feeble gas-jet, which brought out, in ghastly relief, the look of +strained expectancy on each face. + +At six o'clock there was a rustle, an excitement. Mr. Fenton came in +and spoke to Bobby, and he spoke to his wife. She touched Elizabeth on +the shoulder. "Dear, we--we go up now," she said. Elizabeth rose and +mechanically put up her hand to her hair. + +"Do I look all right?" she said, and then smiled vaguely at the +commonplace question. A merciful stupor had descended upon her in the +last hour; when she looked at her aunts, she saw that they were +suffering far more than she. "I am not frightened," she said, "please +don't be frightened." She was determined that she would be brave. This +was the thought uppermost in her mind. + +They went up to the court-room, and on the threshold Mr. Fenton said +to her: "Remember, that even if the verdict is--is unfavorable, it is +not final. We shall appeal." She bent her head, wondering mechanically +that any one should speak of things to happen _after_ the verdict. Her +whole life seemed bounded by the events of the next few minutes; she +could not look beyond.... The thought crossed her mind of how slight a +thing would decide her fate--the difference between one word or two, +guilty or not guilty. A mere trifle--a word in three letters; yet all +the difference between honor and dishonor, life and death. Her mind +fastened upon the irrelevant detail and dallied with it; the while she +was conscious, with sickening intensity, of each movement in the +court-room--the breathless atmosphere of a suspense, in which the mere +rustling of a paper jarred upon the nerves; the jury filing in, the +formal opening question, "Gentlemen of the jury, have you decided upon +your verdict?" Her throat was parched, balls of fire danced before her +eyes, there was a sound in her ears like the rushing of many waters. +Guilty or not guilty? One word or two? The question beat upon her +brain with a dull persistence, and she was conscious, vaguely, that +the answer was of vital importance, but somehow she could not bring +herself to realize it. + +"_Not Guilty._" + +The words rang clear and confident, across that gulf which separated +her from the outside world. As through a mist she saw the relief on +the faces of those around her, but still she herself was conscious of +no feeling. She still sat white and dazed, staring before her, while +her lips moved mechanically, repeating the words that seemed so +meaningless: "_Not Guilty._" + +There was a pause, and then a stir, a murmur of relief. Some women +sobbed aloud. But she herself still sat staring before her, repeating +the answer that seemed to have no meaning: "_Not Guilty._" + + + + +_Chapter XXXIX_ + + +By the next morning, she had realized all that the verdict meant; she +had had time even to grow used to it. The first joy had spent itself, +the inevitable reaction was setting in. + +"Life isn't everything," she thought, and stared before her with knit +brows. The fire--it was a long time since she had sat beside one--gave +out a cheerful glow, the little drawing-room wore a festive air and +was bright with flowers that had been sent to her. A feeling of +physical ease and contentment, of relief in the mere change of scene, +stole over her wearied senses. But still it did not suffice; she +struggled indeed against it. + +She took up and re-read a letter which had been left for her a little +while before, and had caused her, in her state of exhaustion, +something of a nervous shock. + + _"They have just told me," it said, "that you are acquitted. + As for me, I am very ill. They say I can't live much longer. + That's why I ask if you will come and see me at once. There + are some things I'd like to tell you, and if you don't come + quickly it may be too late."_ + + _AMANDA._" + +The address was that of a hospital. + +"I didn't know," Elizabeth said, "that Amanda was so ill." + +Her aunts, who were hovering about the room, devouring their recovered +treasure with tender eyes, looked surprised at her introduction of an +irrelevant subject. + +"I heard that she had gone to a hospital," Miss Cornelia said, dryly, +"and her mother came down to be near her--but dear me, that girl +always has something the matter with her! I don't know why you should +trouble yourself about her, my dear. Both she and her mother have +behaved in a very unfeeling way all this time, never coming to see +you, or sending messages, or anything." + +"Well, Amanda has sent me a message now," said Elizabeth. "She wants +me to come and see her, and I think"--she hesitated a moment--"I think +I shall go at once," she announced with sudden decision. The words +sounded strangely to her as she uttered them. It was so long since she +had said that she would do this or that. And even now, her wishes met +with some faint opposition. + +Her aunts looked at each other. "But won't that be painful for you, my +dear?" urged Miss Cornelia, after a moment. + +"I'm used to painful things, Aunt Cornelia." The girl's smile was +bitter; there was a tone of petulant wilfulness in her voice. Her +aunts still looked at one another unspoken words trembled on the lips +of each. + +"My dear," Miss Joanna began at last, "Julian"--she stopped. + +"He said he hoped to see you this morning," said Miss Cornelia, taking +up the sentence. "He hoped that after you had rested"--she faltered as +a look crossed Elizabeth's face, which did not promise consent. And +then suddenly she took courage and crossed over to Elizabeth and took +her hand. "My dear," she cried, "you--you must see him. He has been so +unhappy. He--he loves you, Elizabeth." Again her voice faltered. The +girl sat passive for a moment, and then she flushed and dragged away +her hand. + +"I can't see him," she broke out, hoarsely; "it--it would be more +painful than seeing Amanda. And--if he loves me, why, so much the +worse!" Then softening, as she met their dismayed looks: "Oh, don't +you understand," she cried, "don't you understand that the kindest +thing I can do for him is--not to see him?" And then the tears sprang +to her eyes and she hurriedly left the room. + +When she came back a few minutes later, she was dressed for going out, +in the black gown and hat that she had worn at the trial. She had tied +a black veil over her face. + +"I must go to see Amanda," she said, speaking very quietly and without +any trace of emotion. "I should always regret it if--if anything +happened before I went." She paused as if in expectation of further +protest, and then as none came, she went to them and kissed them both +affectionately. "You--you don't mind, do you," she said, with a note +of apology in her voice. Her aunts sighed resignedly. + +"I wish you would let me go with you, Elizabeth," Miss Cornelia said, +feebly. + +Elizabeth smiled. "Why should you, dear?" she said, quietly. "I've got +to face the world alone some time, I suppose. And it will be nice to +see what it's like--I've almost forgotten." She gave a little sigh, +but checked it instantly, and went out before they could say any more. + +Once in the street the world seemed so strange that it was startling, +and for a moment turned her faint and giddy. It was a mild midwinter +day--the trial had lasted over Christmas and into the new year--almost +there seemed a foretaste of spring in the air. To Elizabeth the +sunlight was dazzling; she put up her hand to ward it off. She walked +slowly and feebly, as if she were convalescing from a long illness. +She had not realized before how weak she was. Fortunately there was +but a short walk before her, through the quiet regions of Irving +Place, past Gramercy Park, and on to the hospital. She met no one she +knew, but several strangers glanced at her curiously, or so she +imagined, as if they recognized her, even through her veil. They might +know her from the pictures with which the papers had been filled; they +had seen one, no doubt, only that morning, with an account of the +verdict. They were wondering still, perhaps, if she were guilty or +innocent. + +She was very tired when she reached the hospital, and the meeting +with Amanda loomed up before her like a nightmare. Her hand trembled +as she rang the bell. A woman in a sister's dress opened the door--the +hospital was under the charge of a Protestant order. There was +something conventual about the waiting-room, into which she was shown. +There was little furniture, pictures of saints hung on the walls, the +wide window was filled with stained glass, through which the light +streamed faintly and fell in bars of crimson and purple upon the +polished floor. The sister, speaking in the subdued voice which the +place seemed to demand, bade Elizabeth seat herself and took up her +name. + +Elizabeth sank down with a sense of physical relief, which obliterated +all other feelings. A moment later she looked up with a start. The +door opened and a woman entered. It was Amanda's mother. + +"Well Elizabeth, so you've got off!" she said, mechanically touching +with dry lips her niece's cheek. "I'm sure I'm glad enough, for the +sake of the family. And then I never thought you did it." + +Elizabeth flushed painfully. "That was kind of you, Aunt Rebecca," she +said. + +"Well, a great many people did, you know, and probably do still, for +that matter. But lor'--what difference does it make, as long as you've +got off? Some people might think all the more of you. There was that +girl at----who committed that murder that everybody talked about--she +got a hundred offers, they say, right after she was acquitted. And +everybody knew that she got off, just because she was a woman." + +Elizabeth shuddered. "Please don't talk about it, Aunt Rebecca," she +said, faintly. "Tell me about Amanda." + +A sort of contraction crossed Aunt Rebecca's face, which might in any +one else, have resulted in tears. "Oh, Amanda's pretty poorly," she +said, in an odd, dry voice. "I guess all those sanitariums and +new-fangled inventions, haven't done her much good. Why the doctor +sent her here, I don't know. It's a queer Catholic place, and I don't +hold with such notions, but Amanda seems taken with the sisters"--she +broke off abruptly as one of their number entered. + +She was a woman of middle age, with a grave, fine face and musical +voice which harmonized with the place and her own costume. In her +presence Amanda's mother, for all her uneasy contempt seemed to sink +at once into insignificance. The Sister took possession very gently, +but completely, of Elizabeth. Her charge had been very anxious, she +said, to see her; it was kind of Miss Van Vorst to come. And then she +led the way up the stairs, and down the long white corridors, talking +quietly as she went of Amanda's case. The girl was suffering from a +complication of maladies, and the Sister thought that there was, +besides, some trouble weighing on her mind, under the stress of which +she grew daily weaker. No, there was, humanly speaking, little hope, +though Amanda's poor mother did not realize it, but the Sister thought +it would do her patient good to see Miss Van Vorst, of whom she had +talked a great deal. All this time there was not a word, not a +curious glance, to show that the Sister knew that she had beside her +the subject of so much discussion. And yet Elizabeth felt herself +enveloped in an atmosphere of sympathy, a tacit recognition of the +fact that she had suffered, which held in it not a trace of blame or +suspicion. Elizabeth felt grateful. + +The private room which Amanda occupied as one of the few "paying +patients," was near the roof of the house, at the head of several +flights of stairs. Sunlight poured in through the window, the floor +was covered with matting, the walls bare and hung with religious +pictures. Opposite the small iron bed, and placed where the light fell +full upon it, was an engraving, the copy of a famous picture, of +Christ upon the Cross. It was singularly vivid, and the sorrowful +dignity of the face had attracted the eyes and soothed the sufferings +of many an occupant of the room. + +Amanda's strange, light eyes, as they stood out unnaturally large and +dilated in her thin, wasted face, were not fixed upon the picture; but +turned with eager expectancy towards the door. She was sitting up in +bed, her head propped with pillows. Her skin had faded to a duller, +more ghastly tint than ever, but a bright spot of red burned in either +cheek. As Elizabeth entered she started, and an odd look flitted +across her face--it was hard to tell whether it indicated relief, or +fear, or perhaps a mingling of both. + +"So you've come," she said, and drew a long sobbing breath. It was all +her greeting. Elizabeth, embarrassed, murmured a few words of +sympathy, as she sank into the chair nearest the door. The Sister, +with a keen glance from one to the other, left the two girls alone. + +Amanda immediately assumed control of the situation. + +"Sit there," she said, in a quick, sharp voice, and pointing to a +chair by the window, "sit there so I can look at you." Elizabeth +mechanically obeyed and threw back her veil. Amanda's eyes fastened +eagerly upon her face. + +"Why, you--you've lost your looks," she announced, abruptly. "Did you +know it?" There was a note of involuntary satisfaction in her voice. + +Elizabeth tried to smile. "Worse things have happened to me than that, +Amanda," she said. + +"I didn't think anything could be worse--to you," Amanda said, feebly. + +Elizabeth was silent. She was thinking that suffering had not yet +produced in Amanda any regenerating effect. + +"Well, after all, I guess it don't matter," Amanda said, drearily, +after a pause. "You're acquitted just the same, and Mr. Gerard is just +as crazy about you as ever, they say. I guess you've got the best of +me still." She sank into a gloomy silence. + +Elizabeth dared not speak. She was wondering if she could not escape, +since her cousin had nothing to say, beyond the old jealous complaint. +But suddenly Amanda turned to her. + +"I've something I want to tell you," she said, speaking feebly and +with difficulty. "Sister made me promise that I--would; she said that +if there was any--any way in which I'd injured you, it would ease my +mind to--tell you. But first you must promise"--she looked about her +suspiciously--"you must swear to me on your oath that you won't +repeat--anything I tell you." + +She raised herself up on her pillows, her breath came in convulsive +gasps, she fixed her eyes intently upon Elizabeth. "Promise," she +said, in her weak, hoarse voice, "swear to me on your oath that you +won't--repeat what I tell you now." + +Elizabeth trembled, her brain felt dazed. Those strained, eager eyes +held her with a terrible insistence. "I--I promise," she repeated, +hardly knowing what she said, conscious only of a wish to have them +withdrawn. + +Amanda sank back as if relieved, on the pillows, but still she +questioned, with a look of doubt. "You won't break your word. You are +sure?" + +"Quite sure," said Elizabeth. Her brain still seemed dazed, her lips +moved mechanically. + +Amanda seemed satisfied. Still, she did not speak, she lay quiet, with +half-closed eyes. At last, with a painful effort, she raised herself +up, and fixed her eyes again intently upon Elizabeth. "I sent the +poison," she said. The words came in a hoarse whisper. + +Elizabeth stared at her without moving; only a slight shudder passed +through her. The words echoed in her ear, beat upon her brain. The +odd part of it was that they did not surprise her. She seemed somehow +to have heard, or thought them, before. + +"Yes," Amanda repeated, after a moment, "I sent the poison. It was +after I had left the sanitarium--no one knew that I had left it. I +dressed as like you as I could, I copied your handwriting, I knew they +would think it was you. But I didn't"--a slight undertone of contempt +made itself felt in her voice--"I didn't know how easy it would be, +for I didn't suppose you'd do all those stupid things that made them +suspect you." + +She was silent. Elizabeth still stared at her motionless, aghast. "But +why--why," she faltered, "what object, Amanda, could you have?" + +A look of intense bitterness crossed the sick girl's face. She seemed +to flare up all at once into a red heat of anger, as dry, withered +wood will sometimes give out the fiercest flames. "What object!" she +repeated. "You ask what object!--and you know how he scorned me! +Didn't you wish him to die? You admitted it in court--because he stood +in your way; and do you think that is anything to being +humiliated--dragged in the dust, as I was?" + +She leaned back panting on the pillows; the fierce flame of anger +which passed over her seemed to consume her feeble strength. When she +spoke again it was much more feebly. "That time when I--I went to him +at the studio," she said, "I thought maybe he'd come back to me +again--seeing you didn't seem to want him. I thought--but there, I +was a fool. Most women are, I guess, when they care about a man. He +laughed at me and said that I'd deceived myself--that it was I who did +the love-making. That was a lie, but it was what he said, I guess, +about most girls--when he got tired of them. I got wild, it seemed as +if my brain was on fire, and I--I threatened him. He only laughed. And +then I taunted him--about you; that seemed to hurt him more. I said as +how you had so many beaux, you didn't care any longer about him. He +said then, I was mistaken, that you were just as fond of him as +ever--really, that you would do anything he wanted"-- + +She paused, her breath seemed to fail her. Elizabeth sat listening, +stupefied, incapable of speech or motion. Amanda went on presently, +huddling one word upon another: "I didn't believe him, I thought it +was only to make me feel worse. And then, when I went out, I met +you--the thought came to me that I'd find out the truth. I came back, +I'd left the door open, I saw you give him money--but there was a look +on your face that made me think you didn't do it--for love." + +She paused again and struggled for breath. Elizabeth spoke +involuntarily. "But how did you know," she asked, "about the pearls?" + +"What, that you'd sold them?" Amanda spoke quietly, with a slight +smile, as at the simplicity of the question. "I knew it the moment I +saw you--that evening, and you didn't have them on. Then when I spoke +of them, I saw I was right--I saw how I'd frightened you. There was a +secret--I didn't know what; but it was something you were ashamed of. +Then, when you got engaged to that other man, I understood--I knew you +were afraid of his finding it out. I used to write to him, warning +him. He never answered my letters, or paid any attention--I guess he +thought I was crazy; but I had to keep on writing--I couldn't help it, +somehow. I had to do everything I did. It seemed as if something urged +me on. The only thing that kept me from--from having my revenge was +that you might reap the benefit. And then this plan came to me, and I +saw how I could--get even--with you both." + +The hoarse, feeble voice grew fainter and died away, as if from sheer +exhaustion. Elizabeth interposed an indignant protest. "And so," she +said, "you wanted me to suffer--for your crime? You would have been +glad if they had found me guilty?" + +Amanda did not answer for a moment. "No," she said at last, "I didn't +want you to die. I knew you'd get off--every one said so--because you +were so pretty and so swell. They wouldn't"--the bitter smile again +hovered about her white lips--"they wouldn't have said that about me. +But--if they had found you guilty"--she paused--"I had quite made up +my mind to confess. It was horrible lying here, thinking it over--I +don't believe death can be worse. You couldn't have suffered--anything +like it; for you were innocent." + +She looked at Elizabeth with a strange horror in her eyes. Her face +was ghastly, beads of perspiration stood on her forehead, and on the +little rings of dark red hair, which clung about her temples. "Oh, +you don't know what it is," she said, "you don't know what it is. It's +the thought of that that's killing me inch by inch; it's not the +disease. And yet I'm afraid--I'm afraid to confess"--her voice broke +piteously. "You don't want me to--do you?--now that you've got off. It +won't do you any good--any longer, and as for me, though I don't want +to live, I'm afraid--to die." The feeble voice again faltered and died +away. + +Elizabeth sat silent, her brain in a whirl. Before her there rose the +thought of the long months of torture, the prison cell, the terrible, +unnecessary suspicion that still clouded her life.... If Amanda would +confess, it would be something. People would never again believe her +guilty. And yet!---- + +Mechanically, her eyes wandered about the room, the incongruous +setting for this strange scene--bright, calm and peaceful; filled with +the pictures of martyred saints. Her gaze lingered fascinated on the +face of Christ in the engraving. It might have been the effect of the +light, or the over-wrought state of her nerves which made it appear so +real, instinct with mysterious life and power. Almost it seemed as if +the lips moved, the sorrowful eyes rested, with a look of infinite +pity, on Amanda ... ... "You won't betray me?" the feeble voice +pleaded. "I trusted you--you promised? You won't break your word?" + +"No"--Elizabeth spoke slowly and thoughtfully--"I won't break my word. +I did break a promise I made you once, and repented it, ever since; +but this time I shall keep it. If you confess, it must be for your own +sake, not for mine. No one I care about believes me guilty. Let it +go." + +Amanda drew a sigh of relief. Her head fell back, her attitude of +tension relaxed insensibly. + +"You are very generous," she said, faintly. "I--I won't be +ungrateful." And then a silence fell upon them. Amanda's eyes closed, +she seemed exhausted. Elizabeth, seeing this, got up. + +"I had better go. You're very tired." No answer came. But as she +reached the door Amanda's eyes unclosed, she turned her face towards +her. + +"Good-bye," she said. "I'm sorry you've--lost your looks. Perhaps +you'll--get them back." The words came out with a great effort. And +then she turned her face away and said no more. + +The Sister was waiting outside in the corridor. She accompanied +Elizabeth to the door of the hospital. + +As they parted she laid her hand for an instant on the girl's arm, her +grave, clear eyes scanned the white, exhausted face. + +"My dear," she said, "did your cousin tell you--what she sent for you +to say?" + +Elizabeth met her gaze firmly, with eyes as clear as her own. "It is a +secret," she said, quietly. "I promised--not to repeat it." + +A cloud passed over the Sister's face; her hand rested for a moment +tenderly on Elizabeth's arm. "Poor child!" was all she said. It would +have been hard to tell to whom she referred--Elizabeth or Amanda. + +An instant later the great hospital door swung to, and Elizabeth found +herself again in the outside world. + +Amanda lay absolutely still. She was conscious, for the moment, of +nothing but the utter vacuity of exhaustion. It was only little by +little that her strength revived, her brain began to work, those +thoughts weighed upon her again, which were killing her inch by inch. + +It is hard to understand the processes of a mind like Amanda's, +diseased perhaps from the first, made more so, as life went on, by +illness and adverse circumstances. As to how far she was accountable, +who can decide?... + +One thing is certain, that some sort of moral struggle now took place +within her. Her brow was contracted, her lips moved, now and then she +stirred uneasily. Her piteous gaze fastened half unconsciously, as +Elizabeth's had done, on the face of the Christ in the engraving. For +her as for Elizabeth, the pictured eyes held a curious fascination. +But we read into inanimate objects, above all the symbols of our +faith, our own thoughts and convictions. It was not pity which Amanda +saw in the sorrowful eyes which to her, too, seemed alive with a +singular power. + +When the Sister came in, a little later, she asked her a question. + +"Isn't it enough if we confess our sins?" she asked, feebly. "You +said that would be enough to have them forgiven." + +The Sister looked down at her gravely. "Repentance is not enough," she +said, "unless we do what we can to make amends." + +Amanda turned away with a feeble moan. + +It was late in the afternoon when she nerved herself, as for a great +effort. She called the Sister to her and whispered. What she said did +not seem to cause surprise. The Sister's face brightened, she left the +room quickly. It was evident that she was prepared for an emergency +like this. An hour later the small room was filled--there was a +lawyer, witnesses.... Amanda's weak voice spoke steadily, without a +pause.... + +When it was over, she sank back exhausted, and her eyes again sought +the face in the engraving. She found there what she expected. With a +long sigh of relief she turned her face to the wall and slept. The +Sister quietly pulled down the blind. + +"She will rest now," she said softly, and it was true. Amanda never +awoke. + + + + +_Chapter XL_ + + +"Don't you think," said Gerard, "that I have waited long enough?" + +It was five months later. The mellow afternoon sunlight pierced the +foliage, which, interlacing, formed an arch overhead. Wild roses grew +in profusion along the roadside. Beyond, the fields were thickly +strewn with buttercups and daisies. The air was fragrant with the +scent of honeysuckle. + +Elizabeth wore a white gown; the hands carelessly clasped before her +were filled with June roses. So far, she matched the day and the +season. But her head drooped languidly, like a wilting flower, the +country air had brought no color to her cheeks. Lines of suffering +still lingered about her mouth. The eyes which were cast down, almost +hidden by their long lashes, held a latent shadow in their depths. + +The man by her side, who had just come up from town, noted all this +with a keen anxiety. + +"Don't you think," he repeated, with an impatience the greater for +what her looks conveyed, "don't you think that I have waited long +enough?" + +A quiver crossed her face, but she did not look up. "It's not my fault +that you have--waited," she murmured. + +The man made a rueful gesture. "Oh, you need not tell me that," he +said. "If you had had your way, you would have sent me--back to South +Africa, I believe." He broke off with a bitter laugh. As if in spite +of herself, a smile flickered beneath her drooping lids. + +"Not quite so far, perhaps." The words sounded with a demure accent. +But in an instant the smile vanished, her lip quivered, she looked up +at him with a tremulous earnestness. "Ah, can't you understand," she +cried, "why I want you to go? Haven't I brought you trouble enough? Do +you think that now"--she paused and caught her breath--"now that all +this disgrace has come upon me," she went on with an effort, "do you +think I would burden you with it?" + +"Disgrace!"--He flushed hotly.--"I don't know why there should be +disgrace," he said, "when every one knows now--even those idiots who +doubted you--how baseless the whole miserable accusation was." + +"People don't reason." She sighed wearily. "There will always be a +cloud over me--I feel it even here. People at The Mills stare at me, +the Neighborhood"--she smiled painfully--"the Neighborhood feels that +I have brought upon it eternal discredit. Ah, you can't blame +them"--as Gerard muttered under his breath an ejaculation. "It will be +the same in town--everywhere. People will always remember that I was +horribly talked about, that I have been in prison. For myself"--her +lip trembled--"I'm hardened, but for you"-- + +"For me"--he put out his hand and took hers determinedly into his +strong grasp--"for me it is inevitable that, whatever troubles you +have, I must share them." + +There was silence for a moment. They stood facing each other, the only +actors in the peaceful country scene; the man strong, determined, his +eyes aglow with the fire of mastery; the woman pale, drooping, +exhausted, yet still with some power in her weakness, that opposed +itself to his strength. She put out her hand at last in a gesture of +entreaty. "Ah, don't let us go all over this again," she pleaded. +"Don't make it so hard for me. It's hard enough"--The words seemed to +escape her unawares. + +"Ah!" A gleam of triumph crossed his face. "It is hard, then?" + +"Most things are hard."--She spoke with recovered firmness.--"Life is +hard, but one must--bear it. At least I'll try to bear it--alone. The +only amends I can make to you"--she clasped her hands suddenly in a +passionate gesture of renunciation--"the only atonement is to efface +myself, to sink out of your life as if I had never--been in it." She +paused, her breath came in convulsive gasps, but still she faced him +resolute, the look in her eyes with which some penitent of the early +church might have welcomed lifelong immolation. "To efface myself," +she repeated, dwelling upon the words as if they held some painful +satisfaction, "to sink out of your life--it is the only atonement I +can make." + +"You can't make it." Gerard's words rang out clearly. He took her +hands again resolutely in his. "You can't efface yourself," he said. +"It's beyond your power." A smile flickered across his face, his eyes +looked into hers with an imperious tenderness, before which they fell +abashed. "Do you know," he said, "why I went off in that idiotic +fashion into the wilds, tried to cut myself off from the world? I was +bitter, angry--I wanted to forget you; I thought, if there were +nothing to remind me of you, I might. And then day and night I thought +of you, day and night your face haunted me.... Ah, Elizabeth"--his +voice broke--"ask me to do anything except--forget you." + +There was again silence. Elizabeth's lips parted, her breath +fluttered, a warm, lovely color flooded her face. He thought she had +yielded. But almost instantly the color faded, she drew her hands from +his grasp and shrank away, as if under the weight of some painful +memory. "And,--and that deception," she gasped out. "What has happened +to change that? You said--don't you remember?--that you could +never"--her voice quivered--"never trust me again." She lifted her +head suddenly, she looked him firmly, steadily, in the face, with eyes +that seemed the index to her soul. "I did deceive you," she said. +"Nothing can change that fact. Why should you trust me now?" + +"Ah, it would be hard on most of us"--the words sprung impetuously to +his lips--"if there were no forgiveness, if strict justice were always +meted out." He put out his hand in a passionate gesture, a rush of +feeling thrilled his voice. "Elizabeth," he cried, "don't bring up +words which I said that night in anger, which I have repented--God +knows!--ever since. You had done an heroic thing in telling me the +truth at last, just when it was hardest--I--brute that I was--could +only think of my own misery. But let the past go--it shall not ruin +our lives any longer." He put his arm around her and drew her towards +him. He felt her heart beat, her pulses throb; his voice took on a +deeper note of tenderness. "The future is ours, and love is ours--my +darling, does anything else matter?" + +The argument may not have been a wise one, but it has gained more +victories than all the logic in the world. Elizabeth, weary of +struggling, resigned herself to her defeat.... + +Later she looked up, gave a little, fluttering sigh, and her eyes +sought his with a wistful sweetness. "Dear, I'm not worth it," she +murmured, "but I will try--oh, I will try so hard." ... Gerard, +smiling, cut the sentence short. + +They walked on homeward through the fragrant lanes, in which they two +seemed the only wanderers. The Misses Van Vorst, sitting by the +drawing-room windows, saw them come with a little thrill of anxiety. +Miss Joanna dropped a stitch in her knitting, and Miss Cornelia's +thin, silvery curls fluttered, as if stirred by some intangible wave +of sympathy. + +Elizabeth crossed the flower-studded lawn and came towards them, her +white skirts swaying about her in the gentle summer wind. She held her +head erect, her color was brilliant, her eyes lustrous. The setting +sun shone on her hair and lit it up into a vivid glory. Elizabeth's +aunts stole a glance at her, at the look on Gerard's face. Then their +eyes met and they smiled softly at each other through a mist of tears. + + + + + THE GROSSET & DUNLAP + ILLUSTRATED EDITIONS + OF FAMOUS BOOKS + + +The following books are large 12mo volumes 5¾×8¼ inches in size, are +printed on laid paper of the highest grade, and bound in cloth, with +elaborate decorative covers. They are in every respect beautiful +books. + +UNCLE TOM'S CABIN--By Harriet Beecher Stowe. + +A new edition, printed from entirely new plates, on fine laid paper of +extra quality, with half-tone illustrations by Louis Betts. + +PILGRIM'S PROGRESS--By John Bunyan. + +A new edition of Bunyan's immortal allegory, printed from new plates +on fine laid paper, with illustrations by H. M. 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