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diff --git a/40481-0.txt b/40481-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ad70b2a --- /dev/null +++ b/40481-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6618 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40481 *** + +CONCERNING CHILDREN + + + * * * * * + + + _By Charlotte Perkins Stetson_ + + IN THIS OUR WORLD. Cloth, 16mo. 5/-- + WOMEN AND ECONOMICS. Cloth, 12mo. 6/-- + THE YELLOW WALL PAPER. Paper boards, 12mo. 2/-- + + + G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS + 24 Bedford Street Strand + LONDON, W.C. + + + * * * * * + + + CONCERNING + CHILDREN + + BY + CHARLOTTE PERKINS [STETSON] GILMAN + + AUTHOR OF + "WOMEN AND ECONOMICS," "IN THIS OUR WORLD," + "THE YELLOW WALL PAPER." + + + [Illustration] + + + LONDON: G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS + BOSTON: SMALL, MAYNARD & CO. + 1903 + + + + + TO + + MY DAUGHTER, KATHARINE + + WHO HAS TAUGHT ME MUCH OF WHAT + IS WRITTEN HERE + + + + +Contents. + + + PAGE + + I. THE PRECIOUS TEN 3 + + II. THE EFFECT OF MINDING ON THE MIND 25 + + III. TWO AND TWO TOGETHER 46 + + IV. THE BURNT CHILD DREADS THE SLIPPER 70 + + V. TEACHABLE ETHICS 96 + + VI. A PLACE FOR CHILDREN 118 + + VII. UNCONSCIOUS SCHOOLING 139 + + VIII. PRESUMPTUOUS AGE 156 + + IX. THE RESPECT DUE TO YOUTH 169 + + X. TOO MUCH CONSIDERATION 183 + + XI. SIX MOTHERS 200 + + XII. MEDITATIONS ON THE NURSE-MAID 212 + + XIII. CHILDREN AND SERVANTS 233 + + XIV. MOTHERS, NATURAL AND UNNATURAL 255 + + XV. SOCIAL PARENTAGE 278 + + + + +Concerning Children + + + + +I. + +THE PRECIOUS TEN. + + +According to our religious belief, the last best work of God is the +human race. According to the observation of biologists, the highest +product of evolution is the human race. According to our own natural +inner conviction, this twofold testimony is quite acceptable: we are +the first class. + +Whatever our merits when compared with lower species, however, we vary +conspicuously when compared with one another. Humanity is superior to +equinity, felinity, caninity; but there are degrees of humanness. + +Between existing nations there is marked difference in the qualities +we call human; and history shows us a long line of advance in these +qualities in the same nation. The human race is still in the making, +is by no means done; and, however noble it is to be human, it will be +nobler to be humaner. As conscious beings, able to modify our own +acts, we have power to improve the species, to promote the +development of the human race. This brings us to the children. +Individuals may improve more or less at any time, though most largely +and easily in youth; but race improvement must be made in youth, to be +transmitted. The real progress of man is born in him. + +If you were buying babies, investing in young human stock as you would +in colts or calves, for the value of the beast, a sturdy English baby +would be worth more than an equally vigorous young Fuegian. With the +same training and care, you could develope higher faculties in the +English specimen than in the Fuegian specimen, because it was better +bred. The savage baby would excel in some points, but the qualities of +the modern baby are those dominant to-day. Education can do much; but +the body and brain the child is born with are all that you have to +educate. The progress of humanity must be recorded in living flesh. +Unless the child is a more advanced specimen than his father and +mother, there is no racial improvement. Virtues we still strive for +are not yet ours: it is the unconscious virtues we are born with that +measure the rise of nations. + +Our mechanical products in all their rich variety serve two +purposes,--to show the measure of the brains that made them, and to +help make better ones. + +The printing-press, for instance, marked a century of ability; but its +main value is to develope centuries of greater ability. Society +secretes, as it were, this mass of material wherewith to nourish its +countless young; and, as this material is so permanent and so mobile, +it is proportionately more advantageous to our posterity than the +careful preparation of some anxious insect for her swarm of progeny. +Unless the creature is born better than his creators, they do not save +him. He sinks back or is overcome by others, perhaps lingering +decadent among the traces of lost arts, like degenerate nomad savages +who wander among the ruins of ancestral temples. We see plenty of such +cases, individually, showing this arrested social development,--from +the eighteenth-century man, who is only a little behind his age and +does not hinder us much, to the dragging masses of dull peasantry and +crude savagery, which keep us back so seriously. This does not include +the reversions and degenerates, the absolutely abortive members of +society; but merely its raw stock, that heavy proportion of the people +who are not bred up to the standard of the age. To such we may apply +every advantage of education, every facile convenience of the latest +day; and, though these things do help a little, we have still the +slow-minded mass, whose limited range of faculties acts as a steady +check on the success of our best intellects. The surest, quickest way +to improve humanity is to improve the stock, the people themselves; +and all experience shows that the time to improve people is while they +are young. As in a growing cornstalk the height is to be measured from +joint to joint, not counting the length of its long, down-flowing +leaves, so in our line of ascent the height is to be measured from +birth to birth, not counting the further development of the parent +after the child is born. + +The continued life of the parent counts in other ways, as it +contributes to social service; and, in especial, as it reacts to +promote the further growth of the young. But the best service to +society and the child is in the progress made by the individual before +parentage, for that progress is born into the race. Between birth and +birth is the race bred upward. Suppose we wish to improve a race of +low savages, and we carefully select the parents, subjecting them to +the most elaborate educational influences, till they are all dead. +Then we return, and take a fresh set of parents to place under these +advantageous conditions, leaving the children always to grow up in +untouched savagery. This might be done for many generations, and we +should always have the same kind of savages to labour with, what +improvement was made being buried with each set of parents. Now, on +the other hand, let us take the children of the tribe, subject them to +the most advantageous conditions, and, when they become parents, +discontinue our efforts on that generation and begin on the next. What +gain was made in this case would be incorporated in the stock; we +should have gradually improving relays of children. + +So far as environment is to really develope the race, that development +must be made before the birth of the next generation. + +If a young man and woman are clean, healthy, vigorous, and virtuous +before parenthood, they may become dirty, sickly, weak, and wicked +afterward with far less ill effect to the race than if they were sick +and vicious before their children were born, and thereafter became +stalwart saints. The sowing of wild oats would be far less harmful if +sowed in the autumn instead of in the spring. + +Human beings are said to have a longer period of immaturity than other +animals; but it is not prolonged childhood which distinguishes us so +much as prolonged parenthood. In early forms of life the parent +promptly dies after having reproduced the species. He is of no further +use to the race, and therefore his life is discontinued. In the +evolution of species, as the parent becomes more and more able to +benefit the young, he is retained longer in office; and in humanity, +as it developes, we see an increasing prolongation of parental +usefulness. The reactive value of the adult upon the young is very +great, covering our whole range of conscious education; but the real +worth of that education is in its effects on the young before they +become parents, that the training and improvement may become ours by +birth, an inbred racial progress. + +It may be well here to consider the objections raised by the Weissman +theory that "acquired traits are not transmissible." To those who +believe this it seems useless to try to improve a race by development +of the young with a view to transmission. They hold that the child +inherits a certain group of faculties, differing from the parents +perhaps through the "tendency to vary," and that, although you may +improve the individual indefinitely through education, that +improvement is not transmissible to his offspring. The original +faculties may be transmitted, but not the individual modification. +Thus they would hold that, if two brothers inherited the same kind and +amount of brain power, and one brother was submitted to the finest +educational environment, while the other was entirely neglected, yet +the children of the two brothers would inherit the same amount of +brain development: the training and exercise which so visibly improved +the brain of the educated brother would be lost to his children. + +Or, if two brothers inherited the same physical constitution, and one +developed and improved it by judicious care and exercise, while the +other wasted strength and contracted disease, the children of either +would inherit the original constitutional tendencies of the parent, +unaffected by that parent's previous career. + +This would mean that the whole tremendous march of race-modification +has been made under no other influence than the tendency to vary, and +that individual modification in no way affects the race. + +Successive generations of individuals may be affected by the +cumulative pressure of progress, but not the race itself. Under this +view the Fuegian baby would be as valuable an investment as the +English baby, unless, indeed, successive and singularly connected +tendencies to vary had worked long upon the English stock and +peculiarly neglected the Fuegian. In proof of this claim that +"acquired traits are not transmissible," an overwhelming series of +experiments are presented, as wherein many consecutive generations of +peaceful guinea pigs are mutilated in precisely the same way, and, lo! +the last guinea pig is born as four-legged and symmetrically-featured +as the first. + +If it had been so arranged that the crippled guinea pigs obtained some +advantage because of their injuries, they might have thus become +"fittest"; and the "tendency to vary" would perhaps have launched out +a cripple somewhere, and so evolved a triumphant line of three-legged +guinea pigs. + +But, as proven by these carefully conducted scientific experiments, it +does not "modify the species" at all to cut off its legs,--not in a +score of generations. It modifies the immediate pig, of course, and is +doubtless unpleasant to him; but the effect is lost with his death. + +It has always seemed to me that there was a large difference between a +mutilation and an acquired trait. An acquired trait is something that +one uses and developes, not something one has lost. + +The children of a soldier are supposed to inherit something of his +courage and his habit of obedience, not his wooden leg. + +The dwindled feet of the Chinese ladies are not transmitted; but the +Chinese habits are. The individual is most modified by what he does, +not by what is done to him; and so is the race. + +Let a new experiment be performed on the long-suffering guinea pig. +Take two flourishing pair of the same family (fortunately, the +tendency to vary appears to be but slight in guinea pigs, so there is +not serious trouble from that source), and let one pair of guinea pigs +be lodged in a small but comfortable cage, and fed and fed and +fed,--not to excess, but so as to supply all guinea-piggian desires as +soon as felt,--them and their descendants in their unnumbered +generations. Let the other pair be started on a long, slow, cautious, +delicate but inexorable system of exercise, not exercise involving +any advantage, with careful mating of the most lively,--for this would +be claimed as showing only the "tendency to vary" and "survival of the +fittest,"--but exercise forced upon the unwilling piggies to no profit +whatever. + +A wheel, such as mitigates the captivity of the nimble squirrel, +should be applied to these reluctant victims; a well-selected, +stimulating diet given at slowly increasing intervals; and the +physical inequalities of their abode become greater, so that the +unhappy subjects of scientific research would find themselves skipping +ever faster and farther from day to day. + +If, after many generations of such training, the descendants of these +cultivated guinea pigs could not outrun the descendants of the plump +and puffy cage-fed pair, the Weissman theory would be more strongly +re-enforced than by all the evidence of his suffering cripples. +Meanwhile the parent and teacher in general is not greatly concerned +about theories of pan-genesis or germ-plasm. He knows that, "as the +twig is bent, the tree's inclined," and that, if the fathers have +eaten sour grapes, the children's teeth are pretty certain to be set +on edge. + +Inherit we must to some degree; and whatever comes to us by that +method must belong to the parent before he is a parent. Traits +acquired after parentage are certainly not transmissible, whatever may +be the case before. Our inherited constitution, temper, character, +tendency, is like an entailed estate. It is in the family, belongs to +the family in succession, not to the individual. It is "owned" by the +individual in usufruct, but cannot be sold, given away, or otherwise +alienated. It must be handed on to the next heir, somewhat better or +worse, perhaps, for the current ownership. When the new heir takes +possession of his estate, he confers with the steward, and becomes +thoroughly acquainted with his holdings. Here are the assets,--this +much in permanent capital, this much in income, which he may use as he +will. It would be possible for him to overspend that income, to cut +down the timber and sell it, to incur debts, impoverishing the next +heir. Perhaps this has been done; and he finds himself with neglected +lands, buildings in disrepair, restricted resources, and heavy debts. +In such case the duty of the heir is to live carefully, avoiding every +extravagance, and devote all he can save to clearing off the +encumbrances on the estate, thus handing it on to the next heir in +better shape than he received it. If this is not done, if one +generation after another of inheritors draws relentlessly on the +burdened estate and adds to its encumbrances, there comes a time when +the heavy mortgages are foreclosed, and that estate is lost. + +So with the human constitution. We inherit such and such powers and +faculties; such and such weaknesses, faults, tendencies to disease. +Our income is the available strength we have to spare without drawing +on our capital. Perhaps our ancestors have overdrawn already, wasting +their nerve force, injuring their organisms, handing down to us an +impoverished physique, with scarce income enough for running expenses, +yet needing a large sinking fund for repairs. + +In this case it is our plain duty to live "within our means" in nerve +force, however limited, and to devote all we can spare to building up +the constitution, that we may transmit it in an improved condition to +the next heir. If we do not do this, if successive generations +overdraw their strength, neglect necessary rest and recreation, +increase their weaknesses and diseases, then there comes a time when +the inexorable creditor called Nature forecloses the mortgage, and +that family is extinct. The heir of the entailed estate in lands and +houses has an advantage over the heir of blood and brain. He does not +transmit his property until he dies. He has a lifetime to make the +needed improvements. But the inheritor of poor eyesight, weak lungs, +and a bad temper has a shorter period for repairs. If a woman, she is +likely to become a mother by the time she is twenty-five,--perhaps +sooner; the man, a father by thirty. + +Taking the very early marriages of the poor into consideration (and +they are a heavy majority of the population), we may take twenty-five +as the average beginning of parenthood. Of course there is still room +for improvement before the later children appear; but the running +expenses increase so heavily that there is but a small margin to be +given to repairs. The amount of nerve force hitherto set aside to +control the irritable temper will now be drawn upon by many new +demands: the time given to special exercises for the good of the lungs +will now be otherwise used. However good the intentions afterward, the +best period for self-improvement is before the children come. This +reduces the time in which to develope humanity's inheritance to +twenty-five years. Twenty-five years is not much at best; and that +time is further limited, as far as individual responsibility goes, by +subtracting the period of childhood. The first, say, fifteen years of +our lives are comparatively irresponsible. We have not the judgment or +the self-control to meddle with our own lives to any advantage; nor is +it desirable that we should. Unconscious growth is best; and the +desired improvement during this period should be made by the skilful +educator without the child's knowledge. But at about fifteen the +individual comes to a keen new consciousness of personal +responsibility. + +That fresh, unwarped sense of human honour, the race-enthusiasm of the +young; and the fund of strength they bear with them; together with the +very light expenses of this period, all the heavy drains of life being +met by the parent,--these conditions make that short ten years the +most important decade of a lifetime. + +It is no wonder that we worship youth. On it depends more than on the +most care-burdened age. It is one of the many follies of our +blundering progression that we have for so long supposed that the +value of this period lay merely in its enjoyableness. With fresh +sensations and new strength, with care, labour, and pain largely kept +away, youth naturally enjoys more heartily than age, and has less to +suffer; but these are only incidental conditions. Every period has its +advantage and accompanying responsibilities. This blessed time of +youth is not ours to riot through in cheerful disregard of human duty. +The biological advantage of a longer period of immaturity is in its +cumulative value to the race, the older parent having more development +to transmit. + +The human animal becomes adult comparatively early,--that is, becomes +capable of reproducing the species; and in states of low social grade +he promptly sets about it. + +But the human being is not only an individual animal: he is a social +constituent. He may be early ready to replace himself by another man +as good, but he is not yet able to improve upon the past and give the +world a man much better. He is not yet developed as a member of +society,--trained in those special lines which make him not only a +healthier, stronger, rounder individual, but a more highly efficient +member of society. Our people to-day are not only larger and +longer-lived than earlier races, but they are capable of social +relations immeasurably higher than those open to a never-so-healthy +savage. + +The savage as an individual animal may be equal--in some ways +superior--to the modern man; but, as a social constituent, he is like +a grain of sand in a heap compared to some exquisitely fitted part of +an intricate machine,--a living machine, an organism. In this social +relation man may grow and develope all his life; and that is why +civilisation, socialisation, brings us useful and honourable age, +while savagery knocks its old folk on the head. + +But while the social structure grows in beauty, refinement, and power, +and eighty years may be spent in its glorious service, that service +must be given by individuals. Unless these individuals improve from +age to age, showing a finer, subtler, stronger brain and unimpaired +physique, there can be no genuine or enduring social improvement. We +have seen repeatedly in history a social status lodged in +comparatively few individuals, a narrow fragile upper-class +civilisation; and we have seen it always fall,--fall to the level of +its main constituents, the mass of the people. + +One per cent. of sane men in a society of lunatics would make but a +foolish state; one per cent. of good men in a society of criminals +would make a low grade of virtue; one per cent. of rich men in a +society of poor peasants does not make a rich community. A society is +composed of the people who compose it, strange to say,--all of them; +and, as they are, it is. The people must be steadily made better if +the world is to move. The way to make people better is to have them +born better. The way to have them born better is to make all possible +improvement in the individual before parentage. That is why youth is +holy and august: it is the fountain of human progress. Not only that +"the child is father to the man," but the child is father to the +state--and mother. + +The first fifteen years of a child's life should be treated with a +view to developing the power of "judgment" and "will," that he may be +able to spend his precious ten in making the best possible growth. A +boy of fifteen is quite old enough to understand the main principles +of right living, and to follow them. A girl of fifteen is quite old +enough to see the splendid possibilities that lie before her, both in +her individual service to society and the almost limitless power of +motherhood. It is not youth which makes our boys and girls so foolish +in their behaviour. It is the kind of training we give the little +child, keeping back the most valuable faculties of the brain instead +of helping them to grow. A boy cast out upon the street to work soon +manifests both the abilities and vices of an older person. A girl +reared in a frivolous and artificial society becomes a practising +coquette while yet a child. These conditions are bad, and we do not +wish to parallel them by producing a morbidly self-conscious and +prematurely aged set of youngsters. But, if the child has been trained +in reason and self-control,--not forced, but allowed to grow in the +natural use of these qualities,--he will be used to exercising them +when he reaches the freer period of youth, and not find it so +difficult to be wise. It is natural for a child to reason, and the +power grows with encouragement and use. It is natural for a child to +delight in the exercise of his own will upon himself in learning to +"do things." + +The facility and pleasure and strong self-control shown by a child in +playing some arbitrary game prove that it is quite natural for him to +govern his acts to a desired end, and enjoy it. + +To a desired end, however. We have not yet succeeded in enlisting the +child's desires to help his efforts. We rather convince him that being +good is tedious and unprofitable, often poignantly disagreeable; and, +when he passes childhood, he is hampered with this unfortunate +misbelief of our instilling. + +But, with a healthy brain and will, a youth of fifteen, with the +knowledge easily available at that age, should be not only able and +willing, but gloriously eager for personal development. It is an age +of soaring ambition; and that ambition, directed in lines of real +improvement, is one of Nature's loveliest and strongest forces to lift +mankind. + +There is a splendid wealth of aspiration in youth, a pure and haughty +desire for the very highest, which ought to be playing into the +current of our racial life and lifting it higher and higher with each +new generation. + +The love of emulation, too, so hurtful in the cheap, false forms it so +often takes, is a beautiful force when turned to self-improvement. We +underrate the power of good intention of our young people. We check +and irritate them all through childhood, confusing and depressing the +upward tendencies; and then wag our aged heads pityingly over "the +follies of youth." + +There is wisdom in youth, and power, if we would but let it grow. A +simple unconscious childhood, shooting upward fast and strong along +lines of rational improving growth, would give to the opening +consciousness of youth a healthy background of orderly achievement, +and a glorious foreground,--the limitless front of human progress. +Such young people, easily appreciating what could be done for +themselves and the world by right living, would pour their rich +enthusiasm and unstrained powers into real human growing,--the growing +that can be done so well in that short, wonderful ten years,--that +must be done then, if the race is to be born better. Three or four +generations of such growth would do more for man's improvement than +our present methods of humaniculture accomplish in as many centuries. + + + + +II. + +THE EFFECT OF MINDING ON THE MIND. + + +Obedience, we are told, is a virtue. This seems simple and conclusive, +but on examination further questions rise. + +What is "a virtue"? + +What is "obedience"? + +And, if a virtue, is it always and equally so? + +"There is a time when patience ceases to be a virtue." Perhaps +obedience has its limits, too. + +A virtue is a specific quality of anything, as the virtue of mustard +is in its biting quality; of glass, transparency; of a sword, its edge +and temper. In moral application a virtue is a quality in mankind +whereby we are most advantaged. We make a distinction in our specific +qualities, claiming some to be good and some bad; and the virtues are +those whereby we gain the highest good. These virtues of humanity +change in relative value with time, place, and circumstance. What is +considered a virtue in primitive life becomes foolishness or even vice +in later civilisation; yet each age and place can show clear reason +for its virtues, trace their introduction, rise into high honour, and +gradual neglect. + +For instance, the virtue of endurance ranks high among savages. To be +able to bear hunger and heat and cold and pain and dire fatigue,--this +power is supreme virtue to the savage, for the simple reason that it +is supremely necessary to him. He has a large chance of meeting these +afflictions all through life, and wisely prepares himself beforehand +by wilfully undergoing even worse hardships. + +Chastity is a comparatively modern virtue, still but partially +accepted. Even as an ideal, it is not universally admired, being +considered mainly as a feminine distinction. This is good proof of its +gradual introduction,--first, as solely female, a demand from the man, +and then proving its value as a racial virtue, and rising slowly in +general esteem, until to-day there is a very marked movement toward a +higher standard of masculine chastity. + +Courage, on the other hand, has been held almost wholly as a +masculine virtue, from the same simple causes of sociological +development; to this day one hears otherwise intelligent and +respectable women own themselves, without the slightest sense of +shame, to be cowards. + +A comparative study of the virtues would reveal a mixed and changeful +throng, and always through them all the underlying force of necessity, +which makes this or that quality a virtue in its time. + +We speak of "making a virtue of necessity." As a matter of fact, all +virtues are made of necessity. + +A virtue, then, in the human race is that quality which is held +supremely beneficial, valuable, necessary, at that time. And what, in +close analysis, is obedience? It is a noun made from the verb "to +obey." + +What is it to obey? It is to act under the impulse of another +will,--to submit one's behaviour to outside direction. + +It involves the surrender of both judgment and will. Is this capacity +of submission of sufficient value to the human race to be called a +virtue? Assuredly it is--sometimes. The most familiar instance of the +uses of obedience is among soldiers and sailors, always promptly +adduced by the stanch upholders of this quality. + +They do not speak of it as particularly desirable among farmers or +merchants or artists, but cling to the battlefield or the deck, as +sufficient illustrations. We may note, also, that, when our elaborate +efforts are made to inculcate its value to young children, we always +introduce a railroad accident, runaway, fire, burglar, or other +element of danger; and, equally, in the stories of young animals +designed for the same purpose, the disobedient little beast is always +exposed to dire peril, and the obedient saved. + +All this clearly indicates the real basis of our respect for +obedience. + +Its first and greatest use is this: where concerted action is +necessary, in such instant performance that it would be impossible to +transmit the impulse through a number of varying intelligences. + +That is why the soldier and sailor have to obey. Military and nautical +action is essentially collective, essentially instant, and too +intricate for that easy understanding which would allow of swift +common action on individual initiative. Under such circumstances, +obedience is, indeed, a virtue, and disobedience the unpardonable sin. + +Again, with the animals, we have a case where it is essential that the +young should act instantly under stimuli perceptible to the mother and +not to the young. No explanation is possible. There is not speech for +it, even if there were time. A sudden silent danger needs a sudden +silent escape. Under this pressure of condition has been evolved a +degree of obedience absolutely instinctive and automatic, as so +beautifully shown in Mr. Thompson's story of the little partridges +flattening themselves into effacement on their mother's warning +signal. + +With deadly peril at hand, with no brain to give or to receive +explanation, with no time to do more than squeak an inarticulate +command, there is indeed need for obedience; and obedience is +forthcoming. But is this so essential quality in rearing young animals +as essential in human education? So far in human history, our +absolute desideratum in child-training is that the child shall obey. +The child who "minds" promptly and unquestioningly is the ideal: the +child who refuses to mind, who, perhaps, even says, "I won't," is the +example of all evil. + +Parental success is judged by ability to "make the children mind": to +be without that is failure. All this has no reference whatever to the +kind of behaviour required. The virtue in the child is simply to do +what it is told, in any extreme of folly or even danger. Witness the +immortal fame of Casabianca. Being told to "stay," this sublime infant +stayed, though every instinct and reason was against it, and he was +blown up unflinching in pursuance of duty. The effect of minding on +the mind is here shown in extreme instance. Under the pressure of the +imposed will and judgment of his father, the child restrained his own +will and judgment, and suffered the consequences. The moral to be +drawn is a very circuitous one. Although obedience was palpably +injurious in this case, it is held that such perfect surrender would +in most cases be highly beneficial. + +That other popular instance, beginning + + "Old 'Ironsides' at anchor lay + In the harbor of Mahon." + +is more practical. The judicious father orders the perilously poised +son to + + "Jump! Jump, boy, far into the deep!" + +and he jumps, and is hauled out by the sailors. + +As usual, we see that the reason why obedience is so necessary is +because of imminent danger, which only obedience can escape. With this +for a practical background, and with the added proviso that, unless +obedience is demanded and secured when there is no danger, it will not +be forthcoming when there is, the child is "trained to obey" from the +first. No matter how capricious and unnecessary the command, he must +"mind," or be punished for not "minding." We may fall short of success +in our efforts; but this is our ideal,--that a child shall do what he +is told on the instant, and thus fulfil his whole scale of virtue as +well as meet all the advantages of safety. + +Our intense reverence for the virtue of obedience is easily traceable. +In the first place there is the deep-seated animal instinct, far +outdating human history. For uncounted ages our brute mother ancestors +had reared their brute young in automatic obedience,--an obedience +bred in the bone by those who obeyed and lived, any deficiency in +which was steadily expurgated by the cutting off of the hapless +youngster who disobeyed. This had, of course, a reflex action on the +mother. When one's nerve-impulse finds expression through another +body, that expression gives the same sense of relief and pleasure as a +personal expression. When one wills another to do something which the +other promptly does, it gives one an even larger satisfaction than +doing what one wills one's self. That is the pleasure we have in a +good dog,--our will flows through his organism uninterrupted. It is a +temporary extension of self in activity that does not weary. + +This is one initial reason for the parental pleasure in obedience and +displeasure in disobedience. When the parent emits an impulse calling +for expression through the child, and the child refuses to express it, +there is a distinct sense of distress in the parent, quite apart from +any ulterior advantage to either party in the desired act. Almost any +mother can recall this balked feeling, like the annoyance of an +arrested sneeze. + +To this instinct our gradually enlarging humanness has added the +breadth of wider perceptions and the weight of growing ideas of +authority, with the tremendous depth of tradition and habit. Early +races lived in constant danger, military service was universal, +despotism the common government, and slavery the general condition. +The ruling despot exacted obedience from all; and it was by each grade +exacted remorselessly from its inferiors. No overseer so cruel as the +slave. Where men were slaves to despotic sovereigns, their women were +slaves to them; and the women tyrannised in turn over their slaves, if +they had any. But under every one else were always the children, +defenceless absolutely, inferior physically and mentally. Naturally, +they were expected to obey. As we built out of our clouded brains dim +and sinister gods, we predicated of them the habits so prominent in +our earthly rulers: the one thing the gods would have was obedience, +which, therefore, grew to have first place in our primitive religion. +The early Hebrew traditions of God, with which we are all so familiar, +picture him as in a continuous state of annoyance because his +"children" would not "mind." In the centuries of dominance of the +Roman Catholic Church, obedience became additionally exalted. The +power and success of that magnificent organisation depended so +absolutely on this characteristic that it was given high place in the +vows of religious societies,--highest of all by the Jesuits, who +carried it to its logical extreme, the subordinate being required to +become as will-less as a corpse, actuated solely by the commands of +his superior. Even militarism offers no better instance of the value +and power of obedience than does "the Church." + +It now becomes clear why we so naturally venerate this quality: first, +the deep brute instinct; second, the years of historic necessity and +habit; third, the tremendous sanction of religion. It is only a few +centuries since the Protestant Reformation broke the power of church +dominance and successfully established the rebellion of free thought. +It is less than that since the American Revolution and the French +Revolution again triumphantly disobeyed, and established the liberty +of the individual in matters temporal. Since then the delighted brain +has spread and strengthened, thinking for itself and doing what it +thought; and we have seen some foretaste of what a full democracy will +ultimately bring to us. But this growth of individual freedom has but +just begun to penetrate that stronghold of all habit and tradition, +the Home. Men might be free, but women must still obey. Women are +beginning to be free, but still the child remains,--the under-dog +always; and he, at least, must obey. On this we are still practically +at one,--Catholic and Protestant, soldier and farmer, subject and +citizen. + +Let us untangle the real necessity from this vast mass of hoary +tradition, and see if obedience is really the best thing to teach a +child,--if "by obedience" is the best way to teach a child. And let +careful provision here be made for a senseless inference constantly +made when this question is raised. Dare to criticise a system of +training based on obedience, and you are instantly assumed to be +advocating no system at all, no training, merely letting the child run +wild and "have his own way." This is a most unfair assumption. Those +who know no other way of modifying a child's behaviour than through +"making him mind" suppose that, if he were not made to mind, he must +be utterly neglected. Child-training to their minds is to be +accomplished only through child-ordering; and many think the training +quite accomplished if only the subject is a model of obedience. +Others, a little more open-minded, and who have perhaps read something +on the subject, assume that, if you do not demand obedience of the +child, it means that you must "explain" everything to him, "reason" +with him from deed to deed; and this they wearily and rightly declare +to be impossible. But neither of these assumptions is correct. One may +question the efficacy of the Salisbury method without being thereby +pledged to vegetarianism. One may criticise our school system, yet not +mean that children should have no education. + +The rearing of children is the most important work, and it is here +contended that, in this great educational process, obedience, as a +main factor, has a bad effect on the growing mind. A child is a human +creature. He should be reared with a view to his development and +behaviour as an adult, not solely with a view to his behaviour as a +child. He is temporarily a child, far more permanently a man; and it +is the man we are training. The work of "parenthood" is not only to +guard and nourish the young, but to develope the qualities needed in +the mature. + +Obedience is defended, first, as being necessary to the protection of +the child, and, second, as developing desirable qualities in the +adult. But the child can be far better protected by removing all +danger, which our present civilisation is quite competent to do; and +"the habit of obedience" developes very undesirable qualities. On what +characteristics does our human pre-eminence rest? On our breadth and +accuracy of judgment and force of will. Because we can see widely and +judge wisely, because we have power to do what we see to be right, +therefore we are the dominant species in the animal kingdom; therefore +we are consciously the children of God. + +These qualities are lodged in individuals, and must be exercised by +individuals for the best human progress. If our method of advance were +that one person alone should be wise and strong, and all other persons +prosperous through a strict subservience to his commands, then, +indeed, we could do no better for our children than to train them to +obey. Judgment would be of no use to them if they had to take +another's: will-power would be valueless if they were never to +exercise it. + +But this is by no means the condition of human life. More and more is +it being recognised that progress lies in a well-developed average +intelligence rather than in a wise despot and his stupid serfs. For +every individual to have a good judgment and a strong will is far +better for the community than for a few to have these qualities and +the rest to follow them. + +The "habit of obedience," forced in upon the impressible nature of a +child, does not develope judgment and will, but does develope that +fatal facility in following other people's judgment and other people's +wills which tends to make us a helpless mob, mere sheep, instead of +wise, free, strong individuals. The habit of submission to authority, +the long, deeply impressed conviction that to "be good" is to "give +up," that there is virtue in the act of surrender,--this is one of the +sources from which we continually replenish human weakness, and fill +the world with an inert mass of mind-less, will-less folk, pushed and +pulled about by those whom they obey. + +Moreover, there is the opposite effect,--the injurious reaction from +obedience,--almost as common and hurtful as its full achievement; +namely, that fierce rebellious desire to do exactly the opposite of +what one is told, which is no nearer to calm judgment than the other. + +In obeying another will or in resisting another will, nothing is +gained in wisdom. A human creature is a self-governing intelligence, +and the rich years of childhood should be passed in the guarded and +gradual exercise of those powers. + +Now this will, no doubt, call up to the minds of many a picture of a +selfish, domineering youngster, stormily ploughing through a number of +experimental adventures, with a group of sacrificial parents and +teachers prostrate before him. Again an unwarranted assumption. +Consideration of others is one of the first laws of life, one of the +first things a child should be taught; but consideration of others is +not identical with obedience. Again, it will be imagined that the +child is to be left to laboriously work out for himself the +accumulated experiments of humanity, and deprived of the profits of +all previous experience. By no means. On the contrary, it is the +business of those who have the care of the very young to see to it +that they do benefit by that previous experience far more fully than +is now possible. + +Our system of obedience cuts the child off from precisely this +advantage, and leaves him longing to do the forbidden things, +generally doing them, too, when he gets away from his tutelage. The +behaviour of the released child, in its riotous reaction against +authority as such, as shown glaringly in the action of the average +college student, tells how much judgment and self-control have been +developing behind the obedience. + +The brain grows by exercise. The best time to develope it is in youth. +To obey does not develope the brain, but checks its growth. It gives +to the will a peculiar suicidal power of aborting its own impulse, not +controlling it, but giving it up. This leaves a habit of giving up +which weakens our power of continued effort. + +All this is not saying that obedience is never useful in childhood. +There are occasions when it is; and on such occasions, with a child +otherwise intelligently trained, it will be forthcoming. We make a +wide mistake in assuming that, unless a child is made to obey at every +step, it will never obey. A grown person will obey under sharp instant +pressure. + +If there is a sudden danger, and you shriek at your friend, "Get +up--quick!" or hiss a terrified, "Sh! Sh! Be still!" your friend +promptly obeys. Of course, if you had been endeavouring to "boss" that +friend with a thousand pointless caprices, he might distrust you in +the hour of peril; but if he knew you to be a reasonable person, he +would respond promptly to a sudden command. + +Much more will a child so respond where he has full reason to respect +the judgment of the commander. Children have the automatic habit of +obedience by the same animal inheritance that gives the mother the +habit of command; but we so abuse that faculty that it becomes lost in +righteous rebellion or crushed submission. The animal mother never +misuses her precious authority. She does not cry, "Wolf! Wolf!" We +talk glibly about "the best good of the child," but there are few +children who are not clearly aware that they are "minding" for the +convenience of "the grown-ups" the greater part of the time. +Therefore, they suspect self-interest in even the necessary commands, +and might very readily refuse to obey in the hour of danger. + +It is a commonplace observation that the best children--_i.e._, the +most submissive and obedient--do not make the best men. If they are +utterly subdued, "too good to live," they swell the Sunday-school list +of infant saints, die young, and go to heaven: whereas the rebellious +and unruly boy often makes the best citizen. + +The too obedient child has learned only to do what he is told. If not +told, he has no initiative; and, if told wrong, he does wrong. Life to +him is not a series of problems to be solved, but a mere book of +orders; and, instead of understanding the true imperious "force" of +natural law, which a wise man follows because he sees the wisdom of +the course, he takes every "must" in life to be like a personal +command,--a thing probably unreasonable, and to be evaded, if +possible. + +The escaped child, long suppressed under obedience, is in no mood for +a cheerful acceptance of real laws, but imagines that there is more +"fun" in "having his own way." The foolish parent claims to be obeyed +as a god; and the grown-up child seeks to evade God, to treat the laws +of Nature as if she, too, were a foolish parent. + +Suppose you are teaching a child arithmetic. You tell him to put down +such and such figures in such a position. He inquires, "Why?" You +explain the reason. If you do not explain the reason, he does not +understand the problem. You might continue to give orders as to what +figures to set down and in what places; and the child, obeying, could +be trotted through the arithmetic in a month's time. But the +arithmetic would not have gone through him. He would be no better +versed in the science of numbers than a type-setter is in the learned +books he "sets up." We recognise this in the teaching of arithmetic, +and go to great lengths in inventing test problems and arranging easy +stages by which the child may gradually master his task. But we do not +recognise it in teaching the child life. The small acts of infancy are +the child's first problems in living. He naturally wishes to +understand them. He says, "Why?" To which we reply inanely, "Because I +tell you to!" That is no reason. It is a force, no doubt, a pressure, +to which the child may be compelled to yield. But he is no wiser than +he was before. He has learned nothing except the lesson we imagine so +valuable,--to obey. At the very best, he may remember always, in like +case, that "mamma would wish me to do so," and do it. But, when cases +differ, he has no guide. With the best intentions in life, he can but +cast about in his mind to try to imagine what some one else might tell +him to do if present: the circumstances themselves mean nothing to +him. Docility, subservience, a quick surrender of purpose, a wavering, +untrained, easily shaken judgment,--these are the qualities developed +by much obedience. + +Are they the qualities we wish to develope in American citizens? + + + + +III. + +TWO AND TWO TOGETHER. + + +"If not trained to obedience, what shall the child be trained to?" +naturally demands the outraged parent. To inculcate that first of +virtues has taken so much time and effort that we have overlooked the +subsequent qualities which require our help, and feel rather at sea +when this sheet anchor is taken from us. + +But it is not so hard a problem, when honestly faced. A child has a +body and a mind to be nourished, sheltered, protected, allowed to +grow, and judiciously trained. + +We are here considering the brain training; but that is safely +comparable to--is, indeed, part of--the body training, for the brain +as much as the lungs or liver is an organ of the body. In training the +little body, our main line of duty is to furnish proper food, to +insure proper rest, and to allow and encourage proper exercise. +Exactly this is wanted to promote right brain growth. We do not wish +to overstimulate the brain, to develope it at the expense of other +organs; but we do wish to insure its full natural growth and to +promote its natural activities by a wise selection of the highest +qualities for preferred use. And we need more knowledge of the various +brain functions than is commonly possessed by those in charge of young +children. + +The office of the brain we are here considering is to receive, retain, +and collate impressions, and, in retaining them, to hold their +original force as far as possible, so that the ultimate act, coming +from a previous impression, may have the force of the original +impulse. The human creature does not originate nervous energy; but he +does secrete it, so to speak, from the impact of natural forces. He +has a storage battery of power we call the will. By this high faculty +we see a well-developed human being working steadily for a desired +object, without any present stimulus directed to that end, even in +opposition to prevent stimulus tending to oppose that end. This width +of perception, length of retention, storage of force, and power of +steady, self-determined action distinguish the advanced human brain. + +Early forms of life had no brains to speak of. They received +impressions and transmitted them in expressions without check or +discrimination. With the development of more complex organisms and +their more complex activities came the accompanying complexity of +brain, which could co-ordinate those activities to the best advantage. +Action is the main line of growth. Conditions press upon all life, but +life is modified through its own action under given conditions. And +the relative wisdom and success of different acts depend on the brain +power of the organism. + +The superiority of races lies in better adaptation to condition. In +human life, in the long competition among nations, classes, and +individuals, superiority still lies in the same development. Power to +receive and retain more wide, deep, and subtle impression; power to +more accurately and judiciously collate these impressions; power to +act steadily on these stored and selected impulses rather than on +immediate impulses,--this it is which marks our line of advance. + +The education of the child should be such as to develope these +distinguishing human faculties. The universe, speaking loudly, lies +around every creature. Little by little we learn to hear, to +understand, to act accordingly. And this we should teach the child, to +recognise more accurately the laws about him and to act upon them. + +A very little child does this in his narrow range exactly as does the +adult in wider fields. He receives impressions, such as are allowed to +reach him. He stores and collates those impressions with increasing +vigour and accuracy from day to day; and he acts on the sum of those +impressions with growing power. Naturally, his range of impression is +limited, his power of retention is limited, his ability to relate the +impression retained is limited; and his action is at first far more +open to immediate outside stimulus, and less responsive to the inner +will-force, than that of an adult. That is the condition of childhood. +It is for us to gently, delicately, steadily surround the child with +such conditions as shall promote this orderly sequence of brain +function rather than to forcibly develope and retain his more +primitive methods. + +Before going further, let us look at the average mental workings of +the human creature, and see if it seems to us in smooth running order. +We have made enormous progress in brain development, and we manifest +wide differences in brain power. But clearly discernible through all +the progress and all the difference is this large fault in our mental +machinery,--a peculiar discrepancy between the sum of our knowledge +and the sum of our behaviour. Man being conscious and intelligent, it +would seem that to teach him the desirability of a given course of +action would be sufficient. That it is not sufficient, every mother, +every teacher, every preacher, every discoverer, inventor, reformer, +knows full well. + +Instruction may be poured in by the ton: it comes out in action by the +ounce. You may teach and preach and pray for two thousand years, and +very imperfectly Christianise a small portion of the human race. You +may exhort and command and reiterate; and yet the sinner, whether +infant or adult, remains obdurate. No wonder we imagined an active +Enemy striving to oppose us, so difficult was good behaviour in spite +of all our efforts. It has never occurred to us that we were pursuing +an entirely erroneous method. We uttered like parrots the pregnant +proverb, "Example is better than precept," learning nothing by it. + +What does that simple saying mean? That one learns better by +observation than by instruction, especially when instruction is +coupled with command. This being a clearly established fact, why have +we not profited by it? Because our brains, all of our brains from the +beginning of time, have been blurred and blinded and weakened by the +same mistake in infant education. + +What is this mistake? What is it we have done so patiently and +faithfully all these years to every one of the human race which has +injured the natural working of the brain? This: we have systematically +checked in our children acts which were the natural sequence of their +observation and inference; and enforced acts which, to the child's +mind, had no reason. Thus we have carefully trained a world of people +to the habit of acting without understanding, and also of +understanding without acting. Because we were unable even to entirely +subvert natural brain processes, because our children must needs do +some things of their own motion and not in obedience to us, therefore +some power of judgment and self-government has grown in humanity. But +because we have been so largely successful in our dealings with the +helpless little brain is there so little power of judgment and +self-government among us. + +Observe, too, that our most intelligent progress is made in those +arts, trades, professions, sciences, wherein little children are not +trained; and that our most palpable deficiencies are in the morals, +manners, and general personal relations of life, wherein little +children are trained. The things we are compelled to do in obedience +we make no progress in. They are either obeyed or disobeyed, but are +not understood and improved upon: they stand like the customs of +China. The things we learn by understanding and practising are open to +further knowledge and growth. + +A normal human act, as distinguished from the instinctive behaviour +of lower animals or from mere excito-motary reaction, involves always +these three stages,--impression, judgment, expression. These are not +separate, but are orderly steps in the great main fact of +life,--action. It is all a part of that transmission of energy which +appears to be the business of the universe. + +The sun's heat pours upon the earth, and passes through whatever +substance it strikes, coming out transformed variously, according to +the nature of the substance. Man receives his complement of energy, +like every other creature,--physical stimulus from food and fire, +psychical stimulus from its less known sources; and these impressions +tend to flow through him into expression as naturally as, though with +more complexity than, in other creatures. + +The song of the skylark and Shelley's "Skylark" show this wide +difference in the amount and quality of transmission, yet are both +expressions of the same impressions, plus those wider impressions to +which the poet's organism was open. + +The distinctive power of man is that of connected action. Our immense +capacity for receiving and retaining impressions gives us that +world-stock of stored information and its arrested stimulus which we +call knowledge. But wisdom, the higher word, refers to our capacity +for considering what we know,--handling and balancing the information +in stock, and so acting judiciously from the best impression or group +of impressions, instead of indiscriminately from the latest or from +any that happens to be uppermost. + +This power, in cases of immediate danger, we call "presence of mind." +Similarly, when otherwise intelligent persons do visibly foolish +things, we call it "absence of mind." The brain, as an organ, is +present in both cases; but in the former it is connected with action, +in the latter the connection is broken. The word "thoughtless," as +applied to so large a share of our walk and conversation, describes +this same absence of the mind from the place where it is wanted. + +In training the brain of the child, first importance lies in +cultivating this connection between the mind and the behaviour. As +with eye or hand, we should induce frequent repetition of the desired +motions, that the habit of right action be formed. If the child is +steadily encouraged to act in this natural connection, in orderly +sequence of feeling, thought, and action, he would grow into constant +"presence of mind" in his behaviour. Habits work in all directions; +and a habit of thoughtful behaviour is as easy to form, really easier, +than a habit of obedience,--easier, because it would be the natural +function of the brain to govern behaviour if we did not so laboriously +contradict it. We have preferred submission to intelligence, and have +got neither,--not intelligence because we have so violently +discouraged it, and not submission because the healthy upward forces +of human brain growth will not submit. Those races where the children +are most absolutely subservient, as with the Chinese and Hindu, where +parents are fairly worshipped and blindly obeyed, are not races of +free and progressive thought and healthy activity. + +The potential attitude of mind involved in our method is shown in that +perfect expression of "childish faith,"--"It's so because mamma says +so; and, if mamma says so, 'tis so if 'tain't so." That position makes +it very easy for mamma as long as "childish faith" endures; but how +does it help the man she has reared in this idyllic falsehood? The +painful truth is that we have used childish weaknesses to make our +government easy for us, instead of cultivating the powers that shall +make life easy to them. A child's limitless credulity is the open door +of imposition, and is ruthlessly taken advantage of by mother and +father, nurse and older companion generally. + +As a feature in brain-training, this, of course, works absolute harm. +It prolongs the infant weakness of the racial brain, keeps us +credulous and open to all imposture, hinders our true growth. What we +should do is to help the child to question and find out,--teach him to +learn, not to believe. He does learn, of course. We cannot shut out +the workings of natural laws from him altogether. Gradually he +discovers that fire is hot and water wet, that stone is hard to fall +on, and that there are "pins in pussy's toes." His brain is always +being healthily acted upon by facts, his power of discrimination he +practises as best he may, and his behaviour follows inevitably. + +Given such a child, with such and such an inheritance of constitution +and tendency, submit him to certain impressions, and he behaves +accordingly. He has felt. He has thought. He is about to do. Here +comes in our universal error. We concern ourselves almost wholly with +what the child does, and ignore what he feels and thinks. We check the +behaviour which is the logical result of his feeling and thinking, and +substitute another and different behaviour for his adoption. + +Now it is a direct insult to the brain to try to make the body do +something which the brain does not authorise. It is a physical shock: +it causes a sort of mental nausea. There are many subconscious +activities which go on without our recognition; but to call on the +body to consciously go through certain motions, undirected by previous +mental processes, is an affront to any healthy brain. It is sharply +distasteful to us, because it is against the natural working of the +machinery. The vigorous functional activity of the young brain cries +out against it; and the child says, "Why?" "Why" is an articulate +sound to express the groping of the brain for relation, for +consistency. We have so brow-beaten and controverted this natural +tendency, so forced young growing brains to accept the inconsistent, +that consistency has become so rare in human conduct as to be called +"a jewel." Yet the desire for consistency is one of the most inherent +and essential of our mental appetites. It is the logical tendency, the +power to "put two and two together," the one great force that holds +our acts in sequence and makes human society possible. + +We demand consistency in others, and scoff at the lack of it, even in +early youth. "What yer talkin' about, anyway?" we cry. "There's no +sense in that!" We expect consistency of ourselves, too. It is funny, +though painful, to see the ordinary warped brain trying to square its +own conduct with its own ideals. Square they must, somehow, however +strained and thin is our patchwork connection. We check the child's +act, the natural sequence of his feeling and thought, so incessantly +as to give plenty of basis for that pathetic tale of the little girl +who said her name was Mary. "And what is your last name?" "Don't," +said she. "Mary Don't." By doing this, we constantly send back upon +the brain its own impulses, and accustom it to such continual +discouragement of natural initiative that it gradually ceases to +govern the individual behaviour. In highest success, this produces the +heavy child, whining, "What shall I do now?" always hanging about, fit +subject for any other will to work on; and the heavy adult, victim of +ennui, and needing constant outside stimulus to "pass away the time." + +The slowness, the inertia, the opaque conservatism, and the openness +to any sort of external pressure, easiest, of course, on the down +side,--which so blocks the path of humanity,--largely come back to +that poor child's surname, Mary Don't. It is thoroughly beaten into us +when young, and for the rest of life we mostly "Don't." But beyond +the paralysing "Don't!" checking the natural movement of the organism, +comes a galvanising "Do!" shocking it into unnatural activity. We tell +the child to perform a certain action toward which his own feeling and +thought have made no stir whatever. "Why?" he demands. And we state as +reason our authority, and add an immediate heaven or hell arrangement +of our own making to facilitate his performance. He does it. Hell is +very near. He does it many, many times. He becomes habituated to a +course of behaviour which comes to its expression not through his own +previous impression and judgment, but through ours; that is, he is +acting from another person's feeling and thinking. We have asserted +our authority just before his act, between it and his thought. We have +made a cleft which widens to a chasm between what he feels and thinks +and what he does. Into that chasm pours to waste an immeasurable +amount of human energy. The struggles of the dethroned mind to get +possession of its own body again, as the young man or woman grows to +personal freedom, ought to strike remorse and shame to the parental +heart. They do not, because the devoted parent knows no more of these +simple psychic processes than the Goths knew of the priceless +manuscripts they destroyed so cheerfully. With the slow, late kindling +of the freed mind, under the stimulus perhaps of noble thoughts from +others, or just the inner force of human upgrowth, the youth tries to +take the rudder, and steer straight. But the rudder chains are +stretched to useless slackness or rusted and broken. He feels nobly. +He thinks nobly. He starts to do nobly, but his inner pressure meets +no quick response in outer act. The connection is broken. The habit of +"don't" is strong upon him. Following each upward impulse which says, +"Do!" is that automatic check, artificial, but heavily driven in, +which has so thoroughly and effectually taught the brain to stop at +thinking, not to do what it thought. What he felt and thought was not +allowed to govern his action these fifteen years past. Why should it +now? It takes years of conscientious work to re-establish this +original line of smooth connection, and the mended place is never so +strong as it would have been if it had not been broken. + +Also, the work of those who seek to educate our later youth, and of +those who are forever pouring out their lives to lead the world a +little higher, is rendered million-fold more difficult by this same +gulf, this terrible line of cleavage which strikes so deep to the +roots of life, and leaves our beautiful feelings and wise thoughts to +mount sky-high in magnificent culture, while our action, which is +life's real test, grovels slowly along, scarce moved by all our fine +ideas. + +A more general discourager of our racial advancement than this method +of brain-training we could hardly have invented. It is universal in +its application, and grinds down steadily on all our people during the +most impressionable years of life. That we grow as we do in spite of +it is splendid proof of the beneficent forces of our unconscious life, +always stronger than our conscious efforts; and that our American +children grow more freely, and so have more power of initiative and +self-government, is the best work of our democracy. + +"But what else can we do?" will ask the appalled parents. Without +authority they feel no grip upon the child, and see themselves exposed +to infant tyranny, and the infant growing up neglected and untrained. +This shows how little progress we have made in child-culture, how +little grasp we have of the real processes of education. Any parent, +no matter how ignorant, is wiser than a baby and larger. Therefore, +any parent can direct a child's action and enforce it, to some extent. +But to understand how to modify the child's action by such processes +as shall keep it still his own, to alter his act by first altering his +feeling and thought and so keeping the healthy sequence unbroken, that +is a far more subtle and difficult task. A typical instance of this +difference in method may be illustrated in that common and always +difficult task, teaching a child table manners. Here is a case in +which there is no instinct in the child to be appealed to. The noise, +clumsiness, and carelessness to which we object are not at all +unpleasant to him. In what way can we reach the child's range of +reasoning, and convince him of the desirability of this artificial +code of ours? We can, of course, state that it displeases us, and +appeal to his good will not to give us pain. This is rational enough; +but consideration for others, based on a mere statement of +distaste,--a distaste he cannot sympathise with,--is a rather weak +force with most children. It is a pity to over-strain this delicate +feeling. It should be softly tested from time to time, and used enough +to encourage a healthy growth; but to continually appeal to a sympathy +none too strong is often to strain and weaken it. In table manners it +seldom works well. The alleged distress of the parent requires too +much imagination, the desired self-control has too slight a basis. + +But there is a far safer and better way. Carefully work out in your +own mind the real reason why you wish the child to conform to this +particular code of table ethics. It is not wholly on the ground of +displeasing you by the immediate acts. The main reason why they +displease you, and why you are so concerned about the matter, is that +this is the accepted standard among the people with whom you associate +and with whom you expect the child to associate; and, if he does not +conform to this code, he will be excluded from desirable society. + +Reasons why table manners exist at all, or are what they are, require +further study; but the point at issue is not why it is customary to +eat with the fork instead of the knife, but why your child should do +so. When he gets to the point of analysing these details, and asks why +he should fold his napkin in one case and leave it crumpled in +another, you will of course be prepared with the real reasons. +Meanwhile the real reason why the child should learn not to do these +undesirable things is that such manners, if pursued, will deprive him +of desirable society. + +We usually content ourselves with an oral statement to this effect: +"Nobody will want to eat with you if you do so!" Right here let a word +be said to those who are afraid of over-stimulating a child's brain by +a more rational method of training. Training by observation and +deduction is far easier to a young brain than training by oral +statements. To take into the mind by ear a statement of fact, and to +hold that statement in memory and preserve its force to check a +natural action, is a difficult feat for an adult. But to see that such +a thing has such a consequence, and "take warning" by that, is the +"early method," the natural method, the quickest, easiest, surest way. +So, instead of saying to the child, "If you behave so, people will not +want to eat with you," we should let him see that this is the case, +and feel the lack. + +His most desirable society is usually that of his parents; and his +first entrance upon that plane should be fairly conditioned upon his +learning to play the game as they do. No compulsion, no penalties, no +thought of "naughtiness," merely that, if he wants to eat with them, +why, that is the way they eat, and he must do so, too. If he will not, +exit the desirable society. By very gradual steps,--not by long, +tiresome grown-up meals, but by a graduated series of exercises that +should recognise the physical difficulty of co-ordinating the young +faculties on this elaborate "manual of arms,"--a child could learn the +whole performance in a reasonable time, and lose neither nervous force +nor clearness of perception in the process. + +As we do these things now, pulling this string and that, appealing to +feelings half developed, urging reasons which find no recognition, +using compulsion which to the child's mind is arbitrary and unjust, we +may superinduce a tolerable system of table manners, but we have more +or less injured the instrument in so doing. A typewriter could, +perhaps, be worked with a hammer; but it would not improve the +machine. We have had far more consideration for "the machinery of the +household" than for the machinery of a child's mind, and yet the real +foundation claim of the home is that it is necessary to rear children +in. If the ordinary conditions of household life are unsuitable to +convey the instruction we desire, it is for us to so arrange those +conditions as to make them suitable. + +There are cases, many cases, in a child-time, where we cannot command +the conditions necessary for this method of instruction, where the +child must act from our suggestion with no previous or accompanying +reasoning. This makes it all the more necessary that such reasoning +should be open to him when we can command it. Moreover, the ordinary +events in a young life are not surprises to the parent. We know in +advance the things that are so unexpected to the child. Why should we +not be at some pains to prepare him for these experiences? The given +acts of each day are not the crucial points we make of them. What is +important is that the child shall gradually establish a rational and +connected scheme of life and method of action, his young faculties +improving as he uses them, life growing easier and plainer to him from +year to year. It is for the parent, the educator, the brain-trainer, +to study out details of method and delicate applications. The main +purpose is that the child's conduct shall be his own,--his own chosen +course of action, adopted by him through the use of his own faculties, +not forced upon him by immediate external pressure. + +It is our business to make plain to him the desirability of the +behaviour we wish produced, carefully establishing from day to day his +perceptions of the use and beauty of life, and his proven confidence +in us as interpreters. The young brain should be regularly practised +in the first easy steps of sequential reasoning, arguing from the +interesting causes we so carefully provide to the pleasant or not too +painful effects we so honestly let it feel, always putting two and two +together as it advances in the art and practice of human conduct. Then +it will grow into a strong, clear, active, mature brain, capable of +relating the facts of life with a wider and juster vision than has +been ours, and acting unflinchingly from its own best judgment, as we +have striven to do in vain these many years. + + + + +IV. + +THE BURNT CHILD DREADS THE SLIPPER. + + +The question of discipline is a serious one to every young mother; and +most mothers are young to begin with. She feels the weight of maternal +responsibility and the necessity for bringing up her child properly, +but has studied nothing whatever on the subject. + +What methods of discipline are in general use in the rearing of +children? The oldest and commonest of all is that of meeting an error +in the child's behaviour with physical pain. We simply hurt the child +when he does wrong, in order that he may so learn not to do wrong. A +method so common and so old as this ought to be clearly justified or +as clearly condemned by its results. + +Have we succeeded yet in simplifying and making easy the training of +children,--easy for the trainer and for the trained; and have we +developed a race of beings with plain, strong, clear perceptions of +right and wrong behaviour and an easy and accurate fulfilment of those +perceptions? + +It must be admitted that we have not; but two claims will be made in +excuse: first, that, however unsuccessful, this method of discipline +is better than any other; and, second, that the bad behaviour of +humanity is due to our inherent depravity, and cannot be ameliorated +much even by physical punishment. Some may go further, and say that +whatever advance we have made is due to this particular system. +Unfortunately, we have almost no exact data from which to compute the +value of different methods of child-training. + +In horse-training something definite is known. On one of the great +stock ranches of the West, for instance, where some phenomenal racers +have been bred, the trainers of colts not only forbid any rough +handling of the sensitive young animals, but even rough speaking to +them. It has been proven that the intelligent and affectionate horse +is trained more easily and effectually by gentleness than by severity. +But with horses the methods used are open to inspection, and also the +results. + +With children each family practises alone on its own young ones, and +no record is kept beyond the casual observation and hearsay reports of +the neighbours. Yet, even so, there is a glimmer of light. The +proverbial uncertainty as to "ministers' sons" indicates a tendency to +reaction when a child has been too severely restrained; and the almost +sure downfall of the "mamma's darling," the too-much-mothered and +over-indulged boy, shows the tendency to foolish excesses when a child +has not been restrained enough. + +Again, our general uncertainty as to methods proves that even the +currently accepted "rod" system is not infallible. If it were, we +should have peace of mind and uncounted generations of good citizens. +As it is, we have the mixed and spotty world we all know so well,--a +heavy percentage of acknowledged criminals, a much larger grade of +those who just do not break the law, but whose defections from +honesty, courage, truth, and honour weigh heavily upon us all. +Following that comes the vast mass of "good people," and their +behaviour is sometimes more trying than that of the bad ones. + +Humanity does gain, but not as fast as so intelligent a race should. +In penology something has been learned. Here, dealing with the extreme +criminal, we are slowly establishing the facts that arbitrary and +severe punishment does not proportionately decrease crime; that crime +has causes, which may be removed; and that the individual needs to be +treated beforehand, preventively, rather than afterward, +retributively. This would seem to throw some light on infant penology. +If retributive punishment does not proportionately decrease crime in +adult criminals, perhaps it does not decrease "naughtiness" among +little children. If there is an arrangement of conditions and a +treatment which may prevent the crime, perhaps there may be an +arrangement of conditions and a treatment which will prevent the +naughtiness. + +One point may be clearly established, to begin with; and that is the +need of an open court for our helpless little offenders. Whatever else +we think of human nature, we know it to be fallible, and that a +private individual cannot be expected to administer justice in secret +and alone. + +Suppose Mr. Jones steals a cow from Mr. Smith, is Mr. Smith capable of +being himself both judge and executioner? Does not the very conception +of justice involve a third party, some one to hold the scales, to +balance, to decide? And, if circumstances compel much power to be +invested in an individual for a season, should not that individual be +previously instructed from some code of law which many have +sanctioned, and afterward be held responsible to public judgment? + +A ship captain, for instance, has absolute authority for a while; but +his authority rests on law, and, if he breaks that law, he is liable +to punishment. Moreover, if he goes too far while in command, he is +liable to dangerous mutiny as well. But in domestic discipline the +child is absolutely in the power of the parent. There is no appeal. +There is no defence. There are no witnesses. The child offends against +the parent, and the offended one is both judge and executioner. A +number of children may commit exactly the same offence, as, for +instance, if six boys all go swimming when forbidden; yet they are +liable to six several punishments at the hands of their six several +mothers or fathers,--punishments bearing relation to the views, +health, and temper of the parent at the time rather than to the nature +of the misdeed. The only glimmer of protection which the child gets +from an enlightened community is in the Society for the Prevention of +Cruelty to Children,--a small, feeble body, acting in few localities, +and intervening only to save the child from the parent when gross +physical cruelty is practised. That in many cases parents are even +violently cruel to little children gives reason to believe that many +others are a little cruel; and that still more, while not cruel, are +unwise. + +There is no society for the prevention of over-indulgence to children, +for instance; yet this is a frequent injury to our young people. +Whatever the views of the separate parents, and whatever their +standard of justice, a great improvement would be made if there were +some publicity and community of action in their methods. A hundred men +together can decide upon and carry out a higher course of action than +they could be trusted to follow severally. Our beautiful growth in +justice and equity (for grown people) has always required this +openness and union. Many a mother, tired and cross with her housework, +does things to her child which she would be ashamed to retail to a +cool and unprejudiced circle of friends. And many another mother +consistently and conscientiously inflicts punishments which she would +learn to be ashamed of if she heard them discussed by her respected +associates with a consensus of disapproval. + +In the ordinary contact of neighbourly life, some little development +of this sort goes on: a few sporadic Mothers' Clubs lead to more +concerted discussions; and to-day the Mothers' Congress, lately become +the Parents' Congress, and other bodies, together with a growing field +of literature on the subject, is leading to far wider and deeper +thought, and some experiment. But the field is as wide as the world, +and very little is yet accomplished. We have swung wide from the stern +severity of earlier times, so that American children are notoriously +"indulged"; but merely to leave off a wrong method, without +introducing a better one, is not all that can be hoped. + +The discipline of life lies before us all. The more carefully and +wisely we teach and train our children, the less they and others need +suffer afterward. But there does seem to be some grave deficiency in +our method of domestic discipline. Here is little Albert being +educated. He is not going to school yet. He is "not old enough." That +is, he is not old enough to be taught anything systematically by +persons whose business it is to teach; but he is old enough to be +learning the a, b, c of life at the hands of those with whom he +chances to be. A child learns every day. That cannot be helped. What +he learns, and how, we can largely dictate; but we cannot keep his +brain shut until he gets to school, and then open it for three or four +hours a day only. What does little Albert learn? Put yourself in his +place for a little while. Here are new sensations coming to him +momently, through the eager nerves of sense. Here is a new brain, +fresh to receive impressions, store them, and act upon them. The +pleasure of perceiving is keen, the pleasure of his limited but +growing reflection is keen, and the pleasure of action is best of all. +Life is full of interest. All the innumerable facts which form our +smooth background of behaviour, in the knowledge of which we avoid the +water and the fire and go down hill circumspectly, are to him fresh +discoveries and revelations. He has to prove them and put them +together, and see how they work. The feelings with which we have +learned to associate certain facts and actions do not exist to him. He +knows nothing of "should" or "should not," except as he learns it by +personal trial or through the reaction of other persons upon him. + +This open state of mind we early destroy by labelling certain acts as +good and others as bad; and, since we do not see our way to exhibiting +the goodness or badness to the baby brain in natural colours, we paint +them in sharp black and white, with no shading. He has to gather his +sense of relatively good and bad from the degree of our praise and +punishment; and strange, indeed, are his impressions. + +The loving and cuddling which delight his baby soul are associated +with so many different acts, and in such varying proportion, that he +does not clearly gather whether it is more virtuous to kiss mamma or +to pull grandpa's whiskers; and it takes him some time to learn which +dress he must not hug. But, if the good things confuse him, the bad +ones are far more complex and uncertain. + +Little Albert is, we will say, investigating his mother's work-basket. +A tall object stands before him. He just bumped his head against it, +and it wiggled. He felt it wiggle. He reaches forth an inquiring hand, +and finds graspable wicker legs within reach. To grasp and to pull are +natural to the human hand and arm. To shake was early taught him. +Things were put in his hands, the shaking of which produced an +agreeable noise and admiration from the beloved ones. So he shakes +this new object; and, to his delight, something rattles. He puts forth +his strength, and, lo! the tall, shakable object falls prostrate +before him, and scatters into a sprawling shower of little things +that clink and roll. Excellent! Lovely! Have not persons built up tall +creations of vari-colored blocks, and taught baby to knock them down +and rejoice in their scattering! + +But mamma, to whom this group of surfaces, textures, colours, +movements, and sounds, means much besides infantile instruction, +asserts that he is "naughty," and treats him with severity. "If you do +that again," says irate mamma, "I'll whip you!" If Albert has not +already been whipped, the new word means nothing. How is an unwhipped +child to know what whipping means? She might save her breath. The +lesson is not taught by words. But if she promptly whips him, and does +so inevitably when he repeats the offence, he does learn a definite +lesson; namely, that the act of pulling over a work-basket results in +a species of physical pain, _via_ mamma. + +Then the unprejudiced young brain makes its deduction,--"The pulling +over of things causes physical pain, named whipping." This much being +established, he acts on the information. Presently he learns, with +some little confusion, that going out of the gate without leave is +also productive of whipping,--dissimilar acts, but the same +result,--and lays this up with the other,--"Pulling over things and +going out of gates are two causes with the same result,--whipping." + +Then comes another case. He begins to investigate that endless wonder +and attraction, the fire. If ever cause and effect were neatly and +forcibly related, it is in this useful and dangerous element. So +simple and sure is its instructive and deterrent action that we have +built a proverb on it,--"The burnt child dreads the fire." + +But the mother of Albert has a better plan than mother Nature. She +interposes with her usual arbitrary consequence,--"If you play with +fire, I will whip you," and Albert learns anew that this third cause +still produces the same unpleasant result; and he makes his +record,--"Pulling things over, going out of gates, playing with fire, +result in whipping." And he acts accordingly. Then one day he makes a +new and startling discovery. Led by some special temptation, he slips +out of the gate and safely back again, unseen of any. No whipping +follows. Then his astonished but accurate brain hastily revises the +previous information, and adds a glaring new clause,--"It is not just +going out of gates that makes a whipping come: it is being seen!" This +is covertly tried on the other deeds with the same result. "Aha! Aha!" +clicks the little recording machine inside. "Now I know! Whipping does +not come from those things: it comes from mamma; and, if she doesn't +see me, it doesn't come! Whipping is the result of being seen!" Of +course, a little child does not actually say this to himself in so +many words; but he does get this impression very clearly, as may be +seen from his ensuing behaviour. + +The principle in question, in considering this usual method of +discipline, is whether it is better to associate a child's idea of +consequences with the act itself or with an individual, and +conditioned upon the chance of discovery. Our general habit is to make +the result of the child's deed contingent upon the parental knowledge +and displeasure rather than upon the deed itself. As in this +hackneyed instance of the fire, instead of teaching the child by mild +and cautious experiment that fire burns, we teach him that fire whips. +The baby who is taught not to play with fire by the application of a +rearward slipper does not understand the nature of the glittering +attraction any better than before; and, as soon as he learns that +whippings are contingent upon personal observation, he fondly imagines +that, if he can play with fire without being seen, no pain will +follow. + +Thus the danger we seek to avert is not averted. He is still liable to +be burned through ignorance. We have denied the true lesson as to the +nature of fire, and taught a false one of arbitrary but uncertain +punishment. Even if the child is preternaturally obedient and never +does the things we tell him not to do, he does not learn the lesson. +He is no wiser than before. We have saved him from danger and also +from knowledge. If he is disobedient, he runs the same risk as if we +had told him nothing, with the added danger of acting alone and +nervously. Whereas, if he were taught the simple lesson that fire +burns, under our careful supervision to see that the burn was not +serious, then he would know the actual nature of fire, and dread it +with sure reason, far more than he dreads the uncertain slipper. + +This has been dwelt upon so fully by previous writers that there would +seem small need of further mention; but still our mothers do not read +or do not understand, and still our babies are confronted with +arbitrary punishment instead of natural consequence. The worst result +of this system is in its effect on the moral sense. We have a world +full of people who are partially restrained from evil by the fear of +arbitrary punishment, and who do evil when they imagine they can do so +without discovery. Never having been taught to attach the evil +consequence to the evil act, but instead to find it a remote +contingency hinging on another person's observation, we grow up in the +same attitude of mind, afraid not of stealing, but of the policeman. + +If there is no slipper, why not tip over the work-basket: if there is +no policeman, why not steal? Back of slipper and police we hold up to +the infant mind a still more remote contingency of eternal punishment; +but this has to be wholly imagined, and is so distant, to a child's +mind, as to have little weight. It has little weight with grown +persons even, and, necessarily, less with a child. + +The mental processes involved in receiving by ear an image of a thing +never seen, of visualising it by imagination and then remembering the +vision, and finally of bringing forward that remembered vision to act +as check to a present and actual temptation, are most difficult. But +where a consequence is instant and clear,--when baby tries to grab the +parrot, and the parrot bites,--that baby, without being promised a +whipping or being whipped, will thereafter religiously avoid all +parrots. + +A baby soon learns to shun certain things for reasons of his own. What +he dislikes and fears he will not touch. It is no effort for the young +mind to observe and remember a prompt natural consequence. We do make +some clumsy attempts in this direction, as when we tie up, in an +ill-tasting rag, the thumb too often sucked. If thumb-sucking is a +really bad habit and a general one, we should long since have invented +a neat and harmless wash, purchasable in small bottles at the drug +store, of which a few applications would sicken the unhappy suckling +of that thumb most effectually. But thumb-sucking we do not consider +as wrong, merely as undesirable. When the child does what we call +wrong, we think he should be "punished." Our ideas of domestic +discipline are still of the crudely savage era; while in social +discipline, in penology, we have become tolerably civilised. + +Some will say that the child is like a savage, and is most open to the +treatment current at that time in our history. It is true that the +child passes through the same phases in personal development that the +race passed long ago, and that he is open to the kind of instruction +which would affect a primitive-minded adult. But this means (if we are +seeking to benefit the child), not the behaviour of one savage to +another, but such behaviour as would elevate the savage. One of the +most simple and useful elements in primitive discipline is +retaliation. It is Nature's law of reaction in conscious form. + +To retaliate in kind is primitive justice. If we observe the code of +ethics in use among children, it resolves itself into two simple +principles: that of instant and equal retaliation; or, when that +fails, the dread ultimatum which no child can resist,--"I won't play!" +A child who is considered "mean" and disagreeable by his fellows meets +the simple and effectual treatment of snubbing, neglect, ostracism. + +These two principles may be applied in domestic discipline gently, +accurately, fairly, and without ill-feeling; and their effect is +admirable. "What is the difference between this and the other method?" +will be asked. "Is not this also descending to the plane of +childishness, of savagery, to which you were just now objecting?" Here +is the difference. + +To apply a brutal and arbitrary punishment to the person of the +offender is what savages do, and what we do, to the child. To receive +a just and accurate retaliation is what child and savage understand, +are restrained and instructed by. We should treat the child in methods +applicable by the savage, not with the behaviour of savages. For +instance, you are playing with a little child. The little child is +rude to you. You put him down, and go away. This is a gentle reaction, +which, being repeated, he soon learns to associate with the behaviour +you dislike. "When I do this," observes the infant mind, "the play +stops. I like to play. Therefore, I will not do the thing that stops +it." + +This is simple observation, and involves no ill-feeling. He learns to +modify his conduct to a desired end, which is the lesson of life. In +this case you treat him by a method of retaliation quite perceptible +to a savage, and appealing to the sense of justice without arousing +antagonism. But, if you are playing with the little one, he is rude to +you, and you spank him, he is conscious of a personal assault which +does arouse antagonism. It is not only what a savage could +understand, but what a savage would have done. It arouses savage +feelings, and helps keep the child a savage. Also, it helps keep the +race a savage; for the child who grows up under the treatment common +in that era finds it difficult to behave in a manner suitable to +civilisation. + +Discipline is part of life; and, if met early and accepted, all life +becomes easier. But the discipline which the real world gives us is +based on inexorable law, not on personal whim. We make the child's +idea of right and wrong rest on some person's feeling, not on the +nature of the act. He is trained to behave on a level of primitive +despotism, and cannot successfully adjust himself to a free democracy. +This is why our American children, who get less of the old-fashioned +discipline, make better citizens than the more submissive races who +were kept severely down in youth, and are unable to keep themselves +down in later life. + +There is a painful paucity of ideas on child-training in most +families, as clearly shown in the too common confession, "I'm sure I +don't know what to do with that child!" or, "What would you do with +such a child as that?" + +If we may not use the ever-ready slipper, the shrill, abusive voice, +the dark closet, or threat of withheld meal, what remains to us in the +line of discipline? What is to be done to the naughty child? We need +here some knowledge of what naughtiness really is. The child is a +growing group of faculties, the comparative development of which makes +him a good or bad member of society. His behaviour has, first, the +limitations of his age, and, second, of his personality. + +A child is naturally more timid than a grown person, and a given child +may be afflicted with more timidity than is natural to his age. Acts +which indicate such a condition show need of training and discipline. +A certain amount of selfishness is natural to childhood: acts +indicating unusual selfishness call for correction. + +So with the whole field of childish behaviour: whatever acts show evil +tendencies need checking; but the acts natural to every child only +show that he is a child,--which is not "naughty"! If we considered the +field beforehand, asked ourselves what we expected during this day or +this year in the behaviour of such a child, and were not displeased +when he behaved within those lines, much unnecessary pain and trouble +would be saved to both parties. Then, when things really indicative of +evil were done, we should carefully examine and test the character so +manifested, and begin to apply the suitable discipline. + +For example, it is natural to childhood to be inconsiderate of others. +The intense little ego, full of strong new sensations, has small +sympathy for the sensations of his associates. The baby may love the +kitten, and yet hurt it cruelly because he does not know how kittens +feel. This is not naughty, and needs only the positive training which +shall hasten his natural growth in extension of sympathy. To show him +the right methods of handling the pet, and especially of not handling +it; to teach him to enjoy watching the kitten's natural activities and +to respect its preferences,--all that is education, and needs no +"discipline." But, if the child shows a pleasure in hurting the +kitten after he knows it hurts, then you have real evil to deal with. +A character is indicated which may grow to callous indifference to the +feelings of others, and even to their actual injury. These acts are +"wrong"; and wise, strong measures are necessary. + +There are two main lines on which to work. One is to take extra +measures to cultivate sympathy, using nature study, and to examine and +care for such pronounced cases of suffering as must arouse even the +most dominant interest. The too-callous child might be taken to a +children's hospital, and helped to minister to the needs of the small +sufferers. His pets, meanwhile, should be large and strong creatures, +which he would depend on more or less, and his enjoying their company +made absolutely contingent on right treatment. Special attention +should also be paid to all such acts as showed consideration of +others,--to encourage and reward them. + +Again, if a child shows a too violent or sullen temper, or is +distinctly sly and untrustworthy, these are serious indications, and +need careful and thorough treatment. + +But the great majority of acts for which children are punished are not +at all evil. "Carelessness," for instance, is incident to the young +brain,--essential to it. The power always to properly co-relate and +remember is an adult power, and not always strong in the adult. We +need, of course, to encourage a growing carefulness, but not to expect +it nor punish its natural lack. + +Clumsiness is also incidental to the young nerve connections. The baby +drops things continually, the child frequently: the adult will hold an +object even while the mind is otherwise engaged, the habit of the +flexo-motor nerves being well established. Enterprising experiment is +not only natural to childhood, but a positive virtue. That is the +quality which leads the world onward, and the lack of it is a Chinese +wall against progress. One enormous field of what we call naughtiness +in our little ones lies in offences against things. + +First and foremost, clothes. Wetting, soiling, and tearing +clothes,--what a sea of tears have been shed, what wails and sobs, +what heavy and useless punishments inflicted, because of injured +clothing! Yet almost every accident to clothing comes from the +interaction of two facts: first, the perfectly natural clumsiness and +carelessness of childhood; and, second, our interminable folly in +dressing a child in unchildish garments, and placing him in unchildish +conditions. There is no naughtiness involved except in the parent, who +shows a stupidity abnormal to her age. Children are frequently +reproached for wearing out their shoes. What does the intelligent +parent expect? Is the child to sit in a chair, lie down, or ride the +bicycle continually? If the child is seen to cut his shoes with knives +or grind them on a grindstone, that may be discouraged as malicious +mischief; but the inevitable stubbing and scuffing of the eager, +restless, ungoverned little feet should have been foreseen and allowed +for. We do strive to buy the heaviest possible mass of iron-shod +leather for our boys, and then we scold them for being noisy. + +To surround a growing creature with artificial difficulties, to fail +to understand or allow for the natural difficulties of his age, and +then to punish with arbitrary retribution the behaviour which is sure +to appear, this is not the kind of discipline which makes wise, +strong, self-governing citizens. + + + + +V. + +TEACHABLE ETHICS. + + +Our general knowledge of ethics is small and unreliable, and our +practice in ethics even smaller and more unreliable. The good +intentions of mankind are prominent; but our ideas of right behaviour +are so contradictory and uncertain, our execution of such ideas as we +hold so partial and irregular, that human behaviour continues to be +most unsatisfactory. This condition we used to cheerfully attribute to +the infirmity of human nature, taking ignominious consolation from the +thought of our vicious tendencies and hopeless weakness. + +The broad light of evolutionary study has removed this contemptible +excuse. We now know human nature to be quite as good as the rest of +nature, wherein everything is good after its kind; and that, +furthermore, our human kind has made great improvement in conduct so +far, and is capable of making a great deal more. We are not weak: we +are strong. We are not wicked: we earnestly desire to be good. But we +are still very ignorant of the science of ethics, and most inept in +its practice. + +We learn mathematics, and apply our knowledge with marvellous results. +We learn physics, and use what we know therein to work miracles in the +material world. Ethics is as plain a science as physics, and as easy +of application. Ethics is the physics of social relation. The cause of +our slow growth in ethics is this:-- + +The prominent importance of right action and constant need of some +general standard to appeal to, strongly impress the human mind in its +very earliest stage of development. Incapable as yet of scientific +methods of study, ignorant, supremely credulous and timid, +conservative and superstitious to a degree, primitive man promptly +made "a religion" of his scant observations and deductions in ethics, +and forbade all further study and experiment. Where other sciences +have their recognised room for progress, a slowly accumulating and +often changing knowledge behind, and a free field of uncertainty in +front, ethics was promptly walled in with the absolute and the +super-natural. The few lines of action then recognised as "moral" or +"immoral" were defined in the most conclusive manner, and no room left +for later study. It is most interesting to note the efforts of +conscientious men in later ages to make an intelligible, consistent +scheme of ethics out of these essentially incorrect early attempts. By +these efforts a religion grew from a simple group of dogmas and rites +to the complex ramifications of many commentators; and the occasional +vigorous and progressive brain that saw more light has always had to +suffer and struggle long to introduce new truth. We have forbidden, +under awful penalties, all open-minded study in these lines; and this +especially hindering mental attitude has kept the most general and +simple of the sciences in a very backward condition, so that we go +through school and college with no real enlightenment on the subject. + +Thus a young man, quite proficient in languages, physics, and the +higher mathematics, will be shamefully deficient in even the lowest +ethics (right behaviour in regard to himself), and show no +acquaintance whatever with the higher branches of the subject. We err +very commonly in right treatment of ourselves, more commonly in +treatment of one another; and our confusion of idea and behaviour +increases with the square of the distance, our behaviour to other +nations or other kinds of animals being lowest of all. We have a +common scheme of behaviour, coming from various influences and +conditions, which we cannot ourselves account for by any ethical +rules; and this every-day working ethics of ours shows how social +evolution unconsciously developes needed conduct, even where our +conscious intelligence fails to recognise or recommend such conduct as +ethical. Thus we have developed many stalwart and timely virtues in +spite of rather than because of religious approval, and many serious +vices flourish without religious opposition. + +A conspicuous instance of this is in the pious contentment of a +wealthy church corporation, the income of which is derived from +tenement houses which are hotbeds of evil; and in the often observed +conduct of an irreligious man, who practises the commonplace +necessary virtues of daily business life. But this power of social +evolution developes the immediate virtues essential to close personal +intercourse more quickly than the higher range of virtue, needed in +national and international affairs. Thus we often see "a good family +man," friend, and perhaps even an honest business dealer, shamefully +negligent or corrupt in political duty. + +It would seem that the same brains which have brought us forward to +such enormous knowledge in other lines might have made more progress +in this. Some special cause must have operated, and be still +operating, to prevent a normal growth in this deeply important field. + +Much might be said here of the influence of religious custom; but the +still closer and more invariable cause lies not in the church, but in +the home. + +Where in social relation our necessary enlargement and progress have +forced upon us nobler characteristics, in the domestic relation small +change has been made. The privacy and conservatism of the family +group have made it a nursing ground of rudimentary survivals, long +since outgrown in more open fields; and the ethical code of the family +is patently behind that of the society in which it is located. The +primitive instincts, affections, and passions are there; but justice, +liberty, courtesy, and such later social sentiments are very weak. + +New truth is seen by new brains. As the organ we think with grows from +age to age, we are able to think farther and deeper; but, if the +growing brain is especially injured in any one department in early +youth, it will not grow as fast in that one line. As a general +rule,--a rule with rare exceptions,--we do thus injure the baby brain +in the line of ethical thought and action. In other sciences we teach +what we know, when we teach at all, and practise fairly; but, in +teaching a child ethics, we do not give even what we have of +knowledge, and our practice with him and the practice we demand from +him are not at all in accordance with our true views. + +In glaring instance is the habit of lying to children. A woman who +would not lie to a grown friend will lie freely to her own child. A +man who would not be unjust to his brother or a stranger will be +unjust to his little son. The common courtesy given any adult is not +given to the child. That delicate consideration for another's +feelings, which is part of our common practice among friends, is +lacking in our dealings with children. From the treatment they +receive, children cannot learn any rational and consistent scheme of +ethics. Their healthy little brains make early inference from the +conduct of their elders, and incite behaviour on the same plan; but +they speedily find that these are poor rules, for they do not work +both ways. The conduct we seek to enforce from them does not accord +with our conduct, nor form any consistent whole by itself. It is not +based on any simple group of principles which a child can understand, +but rests very largely on the personal equation and the minor +variations of circumstance. + +Take lying again as an instance. 1. We lie to the child. He discovers +it. No evil is apparently resultant. 2. He accuses us of it, and we +punish him for impertinence. 3. He lies to us, and meets severe +penalties. 4. We accuse him of it, rightly or wrongly, and are not +punished for impertinence. 5. He observes us lie to the visitor in the +way of politeness with no evil result. 6. He lies to the visitor less +skilfully, and is again made to suffer. 7. He lies to his more +ignorant juniors, and nothing happens. 8. Meanwhile, if he receives +any definite ethical instruction on the subject, he is probably told +that God hates a liar, that to lie is a sin! + +The elastic human brain can and does accommodate itself to this +confusion, and grows up to complacently repeat the whole performance +without any consciousness of inconsistency; but progress in ethics is +hardly to be looked for under such conditions. It is pathetic to see +this waste of power in each generation. We are born with the gentler +and kinder impulses bred by long social interrelation. We have ever +broader and subtler brains; but our good impulses are checked, +twisted, tangled, weighed down with many artificial restrictions, and +our restless questionings and suggestions are snubbed or neglected. A +child is temptingly open to instruction in ethics. His primitive +mental attitude recognises the importance of the main principles as +strongly as the early savage did. His simple and guarded life makes it +easy for us to supply profuse and continuous illustrations of the +working of these principles; and his strong, keen feelings enable us +to impress with lasting power the relative rightness and wrongness of +different lines of action. + +Yet this beautiful opportunity is not only neglected, but the fresh +mind and its eager powers are blurred, confused, discouraged, by our +senseless treatment. Our lack of knowledge does not excuse it. Our +lingering religious restriction does not excuse it. We know something +of ethics, and practise something, but treat the child as if he was a +lower instead of a higher being. Surely, we can reduce our ethical +knowledge into some simple and teachable shape, and take the same +pains to teach this noblest, this most indispensable of sciences that +we take to teach music or dancing. Physics is the science of +molecular relation,--how things work in relation to other things. +Ethics is the science of social relation,--how people work in relation +to other people. To the individual there is no ethics but of +self-development and reproduction. The lonely animal's behaviour goes +no farther. But gregarious animals have to relate their behaviour to +one another,--a more complex problem; and in our intricate co-relation +there is so wide a field of inter-relative behaviour that its working +principles and laws form a science. + +However complex our ultimate acts, they are open to classification, +and resolve themselves into certain general principles which long +since were recognised and named. Liberty, justice, love,--we all know +these and others, and can promptly square a given act by some familiar +principle. The sense of justice developes very early, and may be used +as a basis for a large range of conduct. "To play fair" can be early +taught. "That isn't fair!" is one of a child's earliest perceptions. +"When I want to go somewhere, you say I'm too little; and, when I +cry, you say I'm too big! It isn't fair!" protests the child. + +In training a child in the perception and practice of justice, we +should always remember that the standard must suit the child's mind, +not ours. What to our longer, wider sweep of vision seems quite just, +to him may seem bitterly unjust; and, if we punish a child in a way +that seems to him unjust, he is unjustly punished. So the instructor +in ethics must have an extended knowledge of the child's point of +view,--that of children in general and of the child being instructed +in particular, and the illustrations measured accordingly. It ought to +be unnecessary to remark that no more passion should be used in +teaching ethics than in teaching arithmetic. The child will make +mistakes, of course. We know that beforehand, and can largely provide +for them. It is for us to arrange his successive problems so that they +are not too rapid or too difficult, and to be no more impatient or +displeased at a natural slip in this line of development than in any +other. + +Unhappily, it is just here that we almost always err. The child's +slowly accumulating perceptions and increasing accuracy of expression +are not only confused by our erroneous teaching, but greatly shocked +and jarred by our manner, our evident excitement in cases of conduct +which we call "matters of right and wrong." All conduct is right or +wrong. A difference in praise or blame belongs to relative excellence +of intention or of performance; but the formation of a delicate and +accurate conscience is sadly interfered with by our violent feelings. +It is this which renders ethical action so sensitive and morbid. Where +in other lines we act calmly, according to our knowledge, or, if we +err, calmly rectify the error, in ethics we are nervous, vacillating, +unduly elated or depressed, because our early teachings in this field +were so overweighted with intense feeling. + +Self-control is one of the first essentials in the practice of +ethics,--which is to say, in living. Self-control can be taught a +child by gently graduated exercises, so that he shall come calmly into +his first kingdom, and exercise this normal human power without +self-consciousness. We do nothing actively to develope this power. We +simply punish the lack of it when that lack happens to be disagreeable +to us. A child who has "tantrums," for instance,--those helpless, +prostrate passions of screaming and kicking,--is treated variously +during the attack; but nothing is done during the placid interval to +cultivate the desired power of control. Self-control is involved in +all conscious acts. Therefore, it should not be hard to so arrange and +relate those acts as to steadily develope the habit. + +Games in varying degree require further exertion of self-control, and +games are the child's daily lessons. The natural ethical sense of +humanity is strongly and early shown in our games. It is a joy to us +to learn "the rules" and play according to them, or to a maturer +student to grasp the principles and work them out; and our quick +condemnation of the poor player or the careless player, and our rage +at him who "does not play fair," show how naturally we incline to +right conduct. Life is a large game, with so many rules that it is +very hard to learn by them; but its principles can be taught to the +youngest. When we rightly understand those principles, we can leave +off many arbitrary rules, and greatly simplify the game. The +recognition of the rights of others is justice, and comes easily to +the child. The generosity which goes beyond justice is also natural to +the child in some degree, and open to easy culture. It should, +however, always rest on its natural precursor, justice; and the child +be led on to generosity gradually, and by the visible example of the +higher pleasure involved. + +To divide the fruit evenly is the first step. To show that you enjoy +giving up your share, that you take pleasure in his pleasure, and +then, when this act is imitated, to show such delight and gratitude as +shall make the baby mind feel your satisfaction,--that is a slow but +simple process. We usually neglect the foundation of justice, and then +find it hard to teach loving-kindness to the young mind. Demands on +the child's personal surrender and generosity should be made very +gradually, and always with a clearly visible cause. Where any dawning +faculty is overstrained in youth, it is hard and slow to re-establish +the growth. + +One simple ethical principle most needful in child-training, and +usually most painfully lacking, is honesty. Aside from direct lying, +we almost universally use concealment and evasion; and even earlier +than that we assume an artificial manner with babies and young +children which causes the dawning ethical sense strange perturbations. + +It is a very common thing to demand from little children a show of +affection without its natural prompting. Even between mother and child +this playing at loving is often seen. "Come and kiss mamma! What! +Don't you love mamma? Poor mamma! Mamma cry!" And mamma pretends to +cry, in order to make baby pretend to love her. The adult visitor +almost invariably simulates an interest and cordiality which is not +felt, and does it in a palpably artificial manner. These may seem +small matters. We pass them without notice daily, but they are +important in the foundation impressions of the young brain. Children +are usually very keen to detect the pretence. "Oh, you don't mean +that: you only say so!" they remark. We thus help to develope a loose, +straggling sense of honesty and honour, a chronic ethical inaccuracy, +like a bad "ear" for music. + +The baby-educator should see to it that she show only real feelings to +the child; and show them in large letters, as it were. Do not say, +"Mamma is angry," or "Mamma is grieved," or "Mamma is ashamed," but be +angry, grieved, or ashamed visibly. Let the child observe the effect +of his act on you, not hear you say you feel thus and so, and see no +signs of it. We depend far too much on oral statements, and neglect +the simpler, stronger, surer means of conveying impressions. The +delicacy of perception of a child should be preserved and tenderly +used. We often blur and weaken it by giving false, irregular, and +disproportionate impressions, and then are forced to use more and more +violence to make any impression at all. All this sensitiveness is to +ethics what the "musical ear" is to music. In injuring it, we make it +harder for the growing soul to discriminate delicately in ethical +questions,--a difficulty but too common among us. + +The basis of human ethics, being social, requires for its growth a +growing perception of collective and inter-relative rights and duties. +Our continual object with the child is to establish in his mind this +common consciousness and an accurate measure in perception. It is at +first a simple matter of arithmetic. Here is the group of little ones, +and the equal number of cookies: palpably, each should have one. Here +is one extra cookie. Who shall have it? Robby, because his is the +smallest. Jamie cries that his is as small as Robby's. Is it? The fact +is ascertained. Divide the extra cookie, then: that's fair. Or here is +one who was not well yesterday and had no cookies. Give it to him. +These things are not to be ostentatiously done nor too continually, +but always with care and accuracy, as lessons more important than any +others. The deeper and larger sense of social duty,--not the personal +balancing of rights, which is easy to even the youngest mind, but the +devotion to the service of all, the recognition that the greater +includes the less,--this must be shown by personal example long before +it can be imitated. + +Parents neglect this where it would help them most, and substitute, to +meet the child's inquiries, only personal authority and compulsion. If +the parent would constantly manifest a recognition of duty and +performance of it even against desire, it would be a great help to the +child. Most children imagine that grown persons do just as they want +to; and that the stringent code of behaviour enforced upon them is +requisite only in childhood, and enforceable only because of their +weakness. Much of the parent's conduct can be used as an object-lesson +to the child; but its skilful employment needs clear ethical +perception and much educational ability. For instance, if the mother +elaborately explains that she is obliged to do something which seems +to the child absurd, or if she claims to have to do a certain thing +which the child can see that she really enjoys, the impressions made +are not correct ones. A recognition of the importance of right +teaching of ethics to the child would help adult conduct in most +cases. And, if the child were receiving proper grounding in ethics +from a special educator, he could come home and perplex his parents +with problems, as a bright child often does now in other sciences. + +This, of course, points to the need of accepted text-books on ethics, +and will allow of disputes between authorities and disagreement on +many points; but these conditions exist in all sciences. There are +different authorities and "schools," much disagreement and dispute and +varying conduct based on our various scientific beliefs. But out of +the study, discussion, and ensuing behaviour comes the gradual proof +of what is really true; and we establish certain generally accepted +facts and principles, while still allowing a margin for divergence of +opinion and further knowledge. + +Our dread of studying ethics as a science on account of this +divergence of opinion is a hereditary brain tendency, due to the long +association of ethical values with one infallible religious +text-book,--Koran or Bible or Talmud or Zend-Avesta. + +"It is written" was the most conclusive of statements to the ancient +mind. The modern mind ought by this time to have developed a wide and +healthy distrust of that which is written. While our "written" ethics +has remained at a standstill always until the upward sweep of social +conduct demanded and produced a better religion, our unnoticed +practice of ethics has worked out many common rules. + +In the fearless study of this field of practical ethics lies our way +to such simple text-books as may be used to teach children. There is +no question as to whether we should or should not teach ethics to very +little children. We do, we must, whether we will or not. The real +question is what to teach and how. They learn from our daily walk and +conversation; and they learn strange things. Most palpable of all +among the wrong impressions given to our children is that of the +pre-eminent importance of the primitive relations of life, and the +utter unimportance of the great social relations of our time. Whatever +ideas of right and wrong the child succeeds in gathering, they are +all of a closely personal nature, based on interpersonal conduct in +the family relation, or in such restricted and shallow social +relations as is covered by our code of "company manners." + +The greatest need of better ethics to-day is in our true social +relation,--the economic and political field of action in which lie our +major activities, and in which we are still so grossly uncivilised. +Not until he goes to school does the child begin to appreciate any +general basis of conduct; and even there the ethics of the position +are open to much clearer treatment. + +As the mother is so prominent a factor in influencing the child's +life, it is pre-eminently necessary that she should be grounded in +this larger ethics, and able to teach it by example as well as by +description. She needs a perception of the proportionate duties of +mankind,--an understanding of their true basis, and a trained skill in +imparting this knowledge to the child. If she cannot properly teach +ethics, she should provide a teacher more competent. At present the +only special ethical teaching for the child outside the family is in +the Sunday-school; and Sunday-school teachers are usually amiable +young ladies who are besought on any terms--with no preparation +whatever--to give this instruction. Once we boldly enter the field of +ethical study, and reduce its simple principles to a teachable +basis,--when we make clear to ourselves and our children the +legitimate reasons of right conduct,--the same intelligence and +ambition which carry us on so far in other sciences will lift the +standard of behaviour of our race, both in theory and practice. +Meanwhile, with such knowledge and practice as we have to-day, let us +see to it that we give to little children our best ethics by precept +and example, with hopes that they may go on to higher levels. + + + + +VI. + +A PLACE FOR CHILDREN. + + +The one main cause of our unfairness to children is that we consider +them wholly in a personal light. Justice and equity, the rights of +humanity, require a broader basis than blood relationship. Children +are part of humanity, and the largest part. Few of us realise their +numbers, or think that they constitute the majority of human beings. +The average family, as given in the census returns, consist of five +persons,--two adults and three minors. Any population which increases +has a majority of children, our own being three-fifths. This large +proportion of human beings constitutes a permanent class,--another +fact we fail to consider because of our personal point of view. One's +own child and one's neighbour's child grow up and pass out of +childhood, and with them goes one's interest in children. Of course, +we intellectually know that there are others; but to the conscious +mind of most persons children are evanescent personal incidents. + +The permanence of childhood as a human status is proven by the +survival among them of games and phrases of utmost antiquity, which +are handed down, not from father to son, but from child to child. If +an isolated family moves into a new country, and its children grow up +alone, they do not know these games. We should bear in mind in +studying children that we have before us a permanent class, larger +than the adult population. So that in question of numerical justice +they certainly have a right to at least equal attention. But, when we +remember also that this large and permanent class of human beings is +by far the most important, that on its right treatment rests the +progress of the world, then, indeed, it behooves us to consider the +attitude of the adult population toward the junior members of society. + +As members of society, we find that they have received almost no +attention. They are treated as members of the family by the family, +but not even recognised as belonging to society. Only in modern +history do we find even enough perception of the child's place in the +State to provide some public education; and to-day, in some more +advanced cities, some provision for public protection and recreation. +Children's playgrounds are beginning to appear at last among people +who have long maintained public parks and gardens for adults. Also, in +the general parks a children's quarter is often now provided, with +facilities for their special care and entertainment. But except for +these rare cases of special playgrounds, except for the quite generous +array of school-houses and a few orphan asylums and kindred +institutions, there are no indications in city or country that there +are such people as children. + +A visitor from another planet, examining our houses, streets, +furniture, and machinery, would not gather much evidence of childhood +as a large or an important factor in human life. The answer to this is +prompt and loud: "Children belong at home! Look there, and you will +see if they are considered or not." + +Let us look there carefully. The average home is a house of, say, six +rooms. This is a liberal allowance, applicable only to America. Even +with us, in our cities, the average home is in a crowded +tenement,--only two or three rooms; and in wide stretches of country +it is a small and crowded farm-house. Six rooms is liberal +allowance,--kitchen, dining-room, and parlour, and three bedrooms. +Gazing upon the home from the outside, we see a building of dimensions +suited to adults. There is nothing to indicate children there. +Examining it from the inside, we find the same proportionate +dimensions, and nothing in the materials or arrangement of the +internal furnishings to indicate children there. The stairs are +measured to the adult tread, the windows to the adult eye, the chairs +and table to the adult seat. Hold! In a bedroom we discover a +cradle,--descended from who knows what inherited desire for swinging +boughs!--and, in some cases, a crib. In the dining-room is often a +high chair (made to accommodate the adult table), and sometimes in the +parlour a low chair for the child. If people are wealthy and careful, +there is, perhaps, a low table, too; but the utmost that can be +claimed for the average child is a cradle or crib, a high chair, and +a "little rocker." There can be no reasonable objection to this, so +long as the child is considered merely as a member of a family. The +adult family precedes and outlasts the child, and it would be absurd +to expect them to stoop and suffer in a house built and furnished for +children. + +So we build for the adult only, and small legs toil painfully up our +stairs and fall more painfully down them. + +But the moment we begin to address ourselves to the needs of children +as a class, the result is different. In the school-house all the seats +are for children, except "teacher's chair"; in the kindergarten the +tiny chairs and tables are perfectly appropriate; in the playground +all the appointments are child-size. "What do you expect!" protests +the perplexed parent. "You say yourself, I cannot build my house +child-size. Do you expect me to add a child-size house in the back +yard? I cannot afford it." + +No, the individual parent cannot afford to build a child-house for his +own family, nor, for that matter, a school-house. We, collectively, +whether through general taxation, as in the public school, or +combination of personal funds, as in the private school, do manage to +provide our children with school-houses, because we recognise their +need of them. Similarly, we can provide for them suitable houses for a +far more early and continuous education,--when we see the need of +them. Here the untouched brain-spaces make no response. "What do you +mean!" cries the parent. "Do you wish us to club together, and build +a--a--public nursery for our children!" This seems sufficiently +horrific to stop all further discussion. But is it? May we not gently +pursue the theme? + +We can and do cheerfully admit the advantages of a public school and a +public school-teacher for our children. Some of us admit the +advantages of a public kindergarten and a public kindergartner for our +children. The step between child-garden and baby-garden is slight. Why +not a public nursery and a public nurse? That, of course, for those +classes who gladly provide and patronise the public school and +kindergarten. The swarming neglected babies of the poor, now +"underfoot" in dirty kitchen or dirtier street, part neglected and +part abused, a tax on the toiling mother and a grievous injury to the +older children who must care for them,--these would be far better off +if every crowded block had its big, bright baby-garden on the roof, +and their young lives were kept peaceful, clean, and well cared for by +special nurses who knew their business. A public nursery is safer than +the public street. One hot reply to this proposition is that +"statistics prove that babies in institutions die faster than babies +even in the poorest families." Perhaps this is so. + +But consider the difference in the cases. Children in institutions are +motherless, generally orphans. No one is proposing to remove the +mothers of the babies in the baby-garden. "But they would be separated +from their mothers!" Children who go to school are separated from +their mothers. Children who go to the kindergarten are separated from +their mothers. Children who play in the street are separated from +their mothers. If the mothers of these children had nothing else to +do, they could give all their time to them. But they have other things +to do; and, while they are busy, the baby would be better off in the +baby-garden than in the street. To those who prefer to maintain the +private school and the private kindergarten, a private baby-garden +would be equally available. "But we do not want it. We prefer to care +for our children at home," they reply. This means that they prefer to +have their little ones in their own nursery, under the care of the +mother, _via_ the nurse. + +The question remains open as to which the children would prefer, and +which would be better for them. Perhaps certain clear and positive +assertions should be made here, to allay the anxiety and anger about +"separating the child from the mother." + +The mother of a young baby should be near enough to nurse it, as a +matter of course. She should "take care of it"; that is, see that it +has everything necessary to its health, comfort, and development. But +that is no reason why she should administer to its every need with her +own hands. The ignorant, low-class poor mother does this, and does +not preserve the lives of her children thereby. The educated, +high-class rich mother does not do this, but promptly hires a servant +to do it for her. The nursery and the nurse are essential to the baby; +but what kind of nursery and nurse are most desirable? The kind of +servant hired by the ordinary well-to-do family is often not a +suitable person to have the care of little children. A young child +needs even more intelligent care than an older one. + +A group of families, each paying for its children's schooling, can +afford to give them a far higher class of teacher than each could +afford to provide separately. So a group of families, each paying for +its children's "nursing," could afford to provide a far superior class +of "nurse" than each can provide separately. + +Here again rises the protest that it is not good for small +children--babies--to be "herded together,"--see infant mortality in +institutions. Again, an unfair comparison is involved. The poorest +kind of children, motherless and fatherless, are crowded in undue +numbers in "charitable" or "public" institutions, and submitted to the +perfunctory care of low-grade, ill-paid attendants, among +accommodations by no means of the best. We are asked to compare this +to small groups of healthy, well-bred children, placed for certain +hours of the day only in carefully planned apartments, in all ways +suitable, under the care of high-grade, well-paid expert attendants +and instructors. + +The care of little children is not servant's work. It is not "nurses'" +work. A healthy child should have his physical needs all properly +supplied, and, for the rest, be under the most gentle and exquisite +"training." It is education, and education more valuable than that +received in college, which our little ones need; and they do not get +it from nurse-maids. + +Then rises the mother. "I can teach my baby better than any teacher, +however highly trained." If the mother can, by all means let her. But +can she? We do not hear mothers protesting that they can teach their +grown-up sons and daughters better than the college professors, nor +their middle-aged children better than the school-teachers. Why, +then, are they so certain that they can teach the babies better than +trained baby-teachers? They are willing to consult a doctor if the +baby is ill, and gladly submit to his dictation. "The doctor says baby +must eat this and go there and do so." There is no wound to maternal +pride in this case. If they have "defective" children, they are only +too glad to place them under "expert care," not minding even +"separation" for the good of the child. + +Any one who knows of the marvellous results obtained by using +specially trained intelligence in the care of defective children must +wonder gravely if we might not grow up better with some specially +trained intelligence used on our normal children. But this we cannot +have till we make a place for children. No woman or man, with the +intelligence and education suitable for this great task, would be +willing to be a private servant in one family. We do not expect it of +college-teacher or school-teacher. We could not expect it of +baby-teacher. The very wealthy might of course command all three; but +that has no application to mankind in general, and is also open to +grave question as to its relative value. + +A private staff of college professors would not be able to give the +boy the advantages of going to college. We cannot have separately what +we can have collectively. Moreover, even if the teacher be secured, we +have not at home the material advantages open to us in the specially +prepared place for children. + +A house or range of apartments for little children could be made +perfectly safe,--which is more than the home is. From the pins on the +carpet, which baby puts in his mouth, the stairs he falls down, the +windows he falls out of and the fire he falls into, to the doors to +jam the little fingers and the corners and furniture he bumps himself +upon, "the home" is full of danger to the child. Why should a baby be +surrounded with these superfluous evils? A room really designed for +babies to play in need have no "furniture" save a padded seat along +the wall for the "grown-ups" to sit on, a seat with little ropes along +the edge for the toddlers to pull up and walk by. The floor should be +smooth and even, antiseptically clean, and not hard enough to bump +severely. A baby must fall, but we need not provide cobblestones for +his first attempts. Large soft ropes, running across here and there, +within reach of the eager, strong little hands, would strengthen arms +and chest, and help in walking. A shallow pool of water, heated to +suitable temperature, with the careful trainer always at hand, would +delight, occupy, and educate for daily hours. A place of clean, warm +sand, another of clay, with a few simple tools,--these four +things--water, sand, clay, and ropes to climb on--would fill the days +of happy little children without further "toys." These are simple, +safe, primitive pleasures, all helpful to growth and a means of +gradual education. The home cannot furnish these things, nor could the +mother give her time and attention to their safe management, even if +she knew how to teach swimming, modelling, and other rudimentary arts. + +The home, beside its difficulties and dangers, is full of unnecessary +limitations. It is arranged on a scale of elegance such as the adult +income can compass; and the natural activities of childhood +continually injure the household decorations and conveniences. +Perfectly natural and innocent conduct on the part of the child is +deleterious to the grown-up home, so patently so that owners of fine +houses are not willing to let them to families with children. + +A nice comment this on the home as a place for children! Must a home +be shabby and bare? Or must the child be confined to his bed? Why not +develope the home to its own perfection,--a place of beauty and +comfort and peace,--and let the children have a home of their own for +part of the day, wherein the order and beauty and comfort are +child-size? The child could sleep under his mother's eye or ear, and +gradually aspire to the adult table when he had learned how to be +comfortable there, and not injure the comfort of others. He could soon +have his own room if the family could afford it, and express his +personality in its arrangement; but the general waking time of little +children could be much better passed in a special house for children +than in the parental kitchen, parlour, bedroom, or back yard. "But why +not the private nursery,--the sunny room for the child and his toys? +Is not that enough?" The private nursery means the private nurse, who +is, as a class, unfit to have the care of little children. She is a +servant; and the forming ideas of justice, courtesy, and human rights +in general, are much injured by the spectacle of an adult attendant +who is a social inferior. A servant is not a proper person to have +charge of these impressionable years. + +Moreover, however perfect the private nursery and private nurse might +be, there remains its isolation to injure the child. We grow up +unnecessarily selfish, aborted in the social faculties proper to our +stage of advance, because each child is so in the focus of family +attention all the time. A number of little ones together for part of +every day, having their advantages in common, learning from infancy to +say "we" instead of "I," would grow up far better able to fill their +places as helpful and happy members of society. + +Even in those rare cases where the mother does actually devote her +entire time to her children, it would still be better for them to pass +part of that time in an equally wise and more dispassionate +atmosphere. Our babies and small children ought to have the society of +the very best people instead of the society of such low-grade women as +we can hire to be nurses in our homes. And, while they need +pre-eminently the mother's tender love and watchful care, they also +need the wider justice and larger experience of the genuine +child-trainer. + +So long as we so underrate the importance of childhood,--and that in +proportion to the youth of the child,--those persons who should +benefit our babies by their presence will not do so. Very great and +learned men are proud to teach youths of eighteen and twenty in +colleges; but they would feel themselves painfully ill-placed if set +to teach the same boys at ten, five, or two years old. Why? Why should +we not be eager for an introduction to "Professor Coltonstall! He's +the first man in America in infant ethics! Marvellous success! You +can always tell the children who have been under him!" You cannot +have this professor in your nursery. But your children and those of +fifty other eager parents could be benefited by his wisdom, +experience, and exquisitely developed skill in a place in common. + +The argument does not appeal to us. We see no need for "wisdom," +"experience," "trained skill" with a baby. We have not realised that +we despised our babies; but we do. Any one is good enough to take care +of them. We even confide them to the care of distinctly lower races, +as in the South with its negro nurses. "Social equality" with the +negro is beyond imagination to the Southerner. That gross inferior +race can never be admitted to their companionship, but to the +companionship of the baby--certainly. Could anything prove more +clearly our lack of just appreciation of the importance of childhood? +The colored nurse is, of course, thought of merely as the servant of +the child; and we do not yet consider whether it is good for a child +to have a servant or whether a servant is a good educator. + +The truth is we never think of education in connection with babyhood, +the term being in our minds inextricably confused with school-houses +and books. When we do honestly admit the plain fact that a child is +being educated in every waking hour by the conditions in which he is +placed and the persons who are with him, we shall be readier to see +the need of a higher class of educators than servant-girls, and a more +carefully planned environment than the accommodations of the average +home. + +The home is not materially built for the convenience of a child, nor +are its necessary workings planned that way; and, what is more +directly evil, the mother is not trained for the position of educator. +We persist in confounding mother and teacher. The mother's place is +her own, and always will be. Nothing can take it from her. She loves +the child the best; and, if not too seriously alienated, the child +will love her the best. The terror of the mother lest her child should +love some other person better than herself shows that she is afraid of +comparison,--that she visibly fears the greater gentleness and wisdom +of some teacher will appeal to the young heart more than her arbitrary +methods. If the mother expected to meet daily comparison with a born +lover of children, trained in the wisest methods of child-culture, it +would have an improving influence on the home methods. One of the +great advantages of this arrangement will be in its reactive effect on +the mother. In her free access to the home of the children, she will +see practically illustrated the better methods of treating them, and +be in frequent communication with their educators. The mother's +knowledge of and previous association with the child will make her a +necessary coadjutor with the teacher, and by intercourse with the +larger knowledge and wider experience of the teacher the mother will +acquire new points of view and wiser habits. + +As the school and kindergarten react beneficially upon the home, so +this baby-school will react as beneficially, and perhaps more so, as +touching the all-important first years. The isolated mother has no +advantage of association or comparison, and falls into careless or +evil ways with the child, which contact with more thoughtful outside +influences would easily prevent. She could easily retain her +pre-eminent place in the child's affections, while not grudging to the +special teacher her helpful influence. Also, the child, with the free +atmosphere of equality around him for part of each day, with +association with his equals in their place, would return to his own +place in the home with a special affection, and submit with good will +to its necessary restrictions. + +In all but isolated farm life, or on the even more primitive cattle +range, it would be possible to build a home for little children, and +engage suitable persons to take charge of them daily. It would take no +more time from the housework--if that is the mother's trade--to take +the child to its day play-school than it takes to watch and tend it at +home and to prevent or mend its "mischief." + +"Children are so mischievous," we complain, regarding their ingenious +destruction of the domestic decorations. A calf in a flower-garden +would do considerable mischief, or kittens in a dairy. Why seek to +rear young creatures in a place where they must do mischief if they +behave differently from grown people? Why not provide for them a place +where their natural activities would not be injurious, but +educational? + +In cities it is a still simpler question. Every block could have its +one or more child homes, according to their number of children +thereabouts. The children of the rich would be saved from the evil +effects of too much care and servants' society, and the children of +the poor from the neglect and low associations of their street-bred +lives. + +The "practical" question will now arise, "Who is to pay for all this?" +There are two answers. One is, The same people who pay for the +education of our older children. The baby has as good a right to his +share of our educational funds, private and public, as the older +child; and his education is more important. The other answer is that +an able-bodied mother, relieved of her position as nursery governess, +would be able to contribute something toward better provision for her +children. + + + + +VII. + +UNCONSCIOUS SCHOOLING. + + +A small boy came from an old-fashioned city,--a city where he went to +school from day to day, and sat with his fellows in rigid rectangular +rows, gazing on bare whitewashed walls adorned with a broad stripe of +blackboard; where he did interminable "sums" on a smeary little slate, +and spelled in sing-song chorus "Baker! Baker! b, a, bay; k, e, r, +ker,--Baker!" He came to a new-fashioned city, where the most +important business on earth--the training of children--was +appreciated. The small boy did not know this. He saw that the city was +clean and bright and full of wide spaces of grass and trees; and he +liked it. It pleased him, as a child: it was the kind of place that +looked as if it had been planned with some thought of pleasing +children. Soon he came to a great open gate, with shady walks and +sunny lawns inside, buildings here and there in the distance, and, +just at hand, some strange figures among the bushes. + +A pleasant-looking lady sat reading in the shade, with a few children +lying in the grass near by, reading, too. Our small boy stood +irresolute; but the lady looked up, and said: "Come in, if you like. +Look around all you want to." Still he felt shy; but one of the +reading little boys rose up, and went to him. "Come on," he said +cheerfully. "I'll show you. There's lots o' things you'll like. Oh, +come on!" So he entered with uncertain steps, and made for one of the +queer figures he had seen in the shrubbery. "It's an Indian!" he said. +"Like a cigar store!" But the resident little boy resented his +comparison. "'Tisn't, either!" cried he. "It's ever so much nicer! +Look at his moccasins and his arrows, and see the scalps in his belt! +See the way he's painted? That shows he's a Sioux. They are great. One +of the best kinds. They live up in the North-west,--Minnesota and +round there; and they fight splendid! That one over there is a Yuma +Indian. Look at the difference!" + +And he took the visitor about, and showed him an interesting +collection of samples of American tribes, giving off rivers of +information with evident delight. From Indians their attention was +taken by a peculiarly handsome butterfly that fluttered near them, +pursued hotly by an eager little girl with a net. + +"That must be a--well, I forget the name," said the resident little +boy. "Do you like bugs?" + +"What kind o' bugs?" inquired the visitor, rather suspiciously. + +"Oh, tumble bugs and burying beetles and walking-sticks, and all +kinds." + +"Walking-sticks! What's that got to do with bugs?" + +"Didn't you ever see the walking-stick one? Oh, come on in! I'll show +you! It's this way." And off they run to a big rambling building among +the shady elms. The visitor hangs back, somewhat awed by the size and +splendour of the place, and seeing grown people about; but his young +guide goes in unchecked, merely whispering, "Got to keep still in +here," and leads him down several passages into a large, quiet hall, +lined with glass cases. + +Such a wealth of "bugs" as were here exhibited had never before been +seen by the astonished visitor; but, when the walking-stick insect was +pointed out to him, he stoutly denied that it was a "bug" at all. A +whispered altercation resulted in appeal to the curator, a studious +youth, who was taking notes at a large table bestrewn with specimens. +Instantly dropping his work, he took the object under discussion from +its case, focussed a magnifying glass upon it, and proceeded to +exhibit various features of insect anatomy, and talk about them most +interestingly. But, as soon as he detected the first signs of +inattention and weariness, he changed the subject,--suggested that +there was some good target practice going on in the West Field; and +the two boys, after a pleasant walk, joined a number of others who +were shooting with bows and arrows, under careful coaching and +management. "I can't shoot except Saturdays," said the guide, "because +I haven't joined a team and practised. But, if you want to, you just +put your name down; and by and by you can hit anything. There's all +kinds of old-fashioned weapons--and the new ones, too." + +"What do you call this, anyhow?" demands the visitor. + +"Call what? This is the West Field: they do all kinds of shooting +here. You see that long bank and wall stops everything." + +"Yes,--but the whole place,--is it a park?" + +"Oh, yes, kind of. It's Weybourne Garden. And that was the museum we +went to,--one of 'em." + +"Is it open always?" + +"Yes." + +"And you don't have to pay for anything?" + +"No. This part is for children. We learn how to do all sorts of +things. Do you know how to build with bricks? I learned that last. I +built a piece of a real wall. It's not here. It was one that was +broken on the other side, and I built a good piece in!" + +A big clock struck somewhere. "Now I must go to dinner with mother," +said the guide. "The gate you came in at is on my way. Come on!" And +he showed the wondering visitor out, and left him at his own door. + +The young stranger did not know where he had been. He did not faintly +imagine it. Neither, for that matter, did the other children, who went +there every day, and with whom he presently found himself enrolled. +They went to certain places at certain hours, because they were only +"open" then with the persons present who showed them how to do +desirable things. + +There were many parks in the city, with different buildings and +departments; and in them, day by day, without ever knowing it, the +children of that city "went to school." + +The progressive education of a child should be, as far as possible, +unconscious. From his first eager interest in almost everything, up +along the gradually narrowing lines of personal specialisation, each +child should be led with the least possible waste of time and nervous +energy. There would be difficulties enough, as there are difficulties +in learning even desirable games; but the child would meet the +difficulties because he wanted to know the thing, and gain strength +without losing interest. So soon as a child-house is built and +education seen to begin in earliest babyhood, so soon as we begin to +plan a beautiful and delicately adjusted environment for our children, +in which line and colour and sound and touch are all made avenues of +easy unconscious learning, we shall find that there is no sharp break +between "home" and "school." In the baby-garden the baby will learn +many things, and never know it. In the kindergarten the little child +will learn many things, and never know it. He will be glad and proud +of his new powers, coming back to share the astonishing new +information or exhibit the new skill to papa and mamma; but he will +not be conscious of any task in all the time, or of special credit for +his performance. Then, as he grows, the garden grows, too; and he +finds himself a little wiser, a little stronger, a little more skilful +every day--or would if he stopped to measure. But he does not measure. +His private home is happy and easy, with a father and mother +interested in all his progress; and his larger home--the child-world +he grows up in--is so dominated by wise, subtle educational influences +that he goes on learning always, studying a good deal, yet never +"going to school." + +In the wise treatment of his babyhood, all his natural faculties are +allowed to develope in order and to their full extent, so that he +comes to a larger range of experiment and more difficult examples with +a smooth-working, well-developed young mind, unwearied and unafraid. +The legitimate theories of the kindergarten carefully worked out +helped him on through the next years in the same orderly progression; +and, as a child of five or six, he was able to walk, open-eyed and +observant, into wider fields of knowledge. Always courteous and +intelligent specialists around him, his mental processes watched and +trained as wisely as his sturdy little body, and a careful record +kept, by these experienced observers, of his relative capacity and +rate of development. + +So he gradually learns that common stock of human knowledge which it +is well for us all to share,--the story of the building of the earth, +the budding of the plant, the birth of the animal, the beautiful +unfolding of the human race, from savagery toward civilisation. He +learns the rudiments of the five great handicrafts, and can work a +little in wood, in metal, in clay, in cloth, and in stone. He learns +the beginnings of the sciences, with experiment and story, and finds +new wonders to lead him on, no matter how far he goes,--an unending +fascination. + +For his sciences he goes to the museum, the laboratory, and the field, +groups of children having about the same degree of information falling +together under the same teacher. For the necessary work with pen and +pencil there are quiet rooms provided. He has looked forward to some +of these from babyhood, seeing the older ones go there. + +Each child has been under careful observation and record from the very +first. His special interests, his preferred methods, his powers and +weaknesses, are watched and worked with carefully as he grows. If +power of attention was weak at first, he is given special work to +develope it. If observation was loose and inaccurate, that was +laboured with. If the reasoning faculty worked with difficulty, it was +exercised more carefully. He has been under such training from +babyhood to twelve or fifteen years old as to give a full and +co-ordinate development of his faculties,--all of them; and such a +general grasp of the main lines of knowledge as to make possible clear +choice of the lines of study for which he is best adapted. With such a +childhood the youth will have much more power of learning, and a deep +and growing interest--an unbroken interest--in his work. + +The natural desire of mankind to know, and also to teach, and the +steadily enlarging field of knowledge open to us, should make +education the most delightful of processes. With our present methods +the place of teacher is usually sought merely for its meagre salary, +by women who "have to work," instead of being eagerly aspired to as +the noblest of professions, and only open to those best fitted. The +children are so overtaxed and mishandled that only the best +intellects come out with any further desire to learn anything. +Humanity's progress is made through brain-improvement, by brain-power. +We need such schooling as shall give us better brains and uninjured +bodies. Fortunately for us, the value of education is widely felt +to-day, and new and improved methods are rapidly coming in. Our +school-houses are more beautiful, our teachers better trained and more +ambitious, and the beneficent influences of the kindergarten and of +the manual training system are felt everywhere. + +But, while much is being done, much more remains for us. With such +honour and such pay as show our respect for the office of teacher, and +such required training and natural capacity as shall allow of no +incapables, we could surround our children from birth with the steady +influence of the wisest and best people. More and more to-day is the +school opening out. It connects with the public library, with art and +industry, with the open fields; and this will go on till the time is +reached when the child does not know that he is at school,--he is +always there, and yet never knows it. + +Where residence was permanent, the teachers of different grades could +constantly compare their growing records, and the child's unfolding be +watched steadily, and noted with a view to still further improvement +in method. Travelling parties of children are not unknown to us. These +will become more common, until every child shall know his earth face +to face,--mountain, river, lake, and sea,--and gain some idea of +political division as well. + +Two main objections to all this will arise at once: one, that of +expense; the other, that a child so trained would not have learned to +"apply himself,"--to force himself to do what he did not like,--that +it was all too easy. + +The ground of too much expense cannot be held. Nothing is too +expensive that really improves education; for such improvement cuts +off all the waste product of society,--the defective and degenerate, +the cripple, thief, and fool, and saves millions upon millions now +spent in maintaining or restraining these injurious classes. Not only +that, but it as steadily developes the working value of humanity, +turning out more and more vigorous and original thinkers and doers to +multiply our wealth and pleasure. Grant the usefulness of improved +methods in education, and they can never be expensive. Even to-day the +school-children become far better class of citizens than the street +Arabs who do not go to school; and such school advantages as we have +lower our expense in handling crime and disease. When we provide for +every child the very best education,--real education of body, brain, +and soul,--with the trained hand and eye to do what the trained will +and judgment command, it is difficult to see where the "criminal +class" is to come from. + +As to its being too easy, and not developing sufficiently stern stuff +in our youngsters, that has two answers. In the first place, this +proposed line of advance is not without its difficulties. Whether a +child is learning to sew or to shoot or to lay bricks, to solve +examples in fractions or to play chess, there are always difficulties. +To learn what you don't know is always a step up. + +But why need we add to this the difficulty of making the child +dislike the work? "Because it is necessary in this world to do what +you don't like!" is the triumphant rejoinder. + +This is an enormous mistake. It is necessary in this world to like +what you do, if you are to do anything worth while. One of the biggest +of all our troubles is that so many of us are patiently and wearily +doing what we do not like. It is a constant injury to the individual, +draining his nervous strength and leaving him more easily affected by +disease or temptation; and it is a constant injury to society, because +the work we do not like to do is not as good as it would be if we +liked it. + +The kind of forcing we use in our educational processes, the +"attention" paid to what does not interest, the following of required +lines of study irrespective of inclination,--these act to blunt and +lower our natural inclinations, and leave us with this mischievous +capacity for doing what we do not like. + +A healthy child, rightly surrounded with attractive opportunities, the +stimulus of association, and natural (not forced) competition, will +want to learn the things most generally necessary, just as he wants to +learn the principal games his comrades play. He has his favourite +games, and does best in them, and will have his favourite studies and +do best in them, which is no injury to any one. + +In this unconscious method the child learns with personal interest and +pleasure, and not under pressure of class competition, reward, or +punishment. He knows, of course, that he is learning, as he knows when +he has learned to swim or to play golf; but he is not laboriously +"going to school" and "studying" against his will. The benefit of such +a process is that it will supply the world with young citizens of +unimpaired mental vigour, original powers and tastes, and strong +special interests, thus multiplying the value and distinction of our +products, and maintaining the health and happiness of the producer. + +As a matter of practical introduction, we are already moving in this +direction, with the "laboratory method," the natural sciences now +taught so widely, and all the new impetus through the study of +pedagogy. + +But those most capable and most interested, those who see the value of +this trend and are doing all they can to promote it, are most keenly +conscious of the difficulties which still confront them. These +difficulties are not far to seek. They lie in the indifference, the +criminal indifference, of our citizens, notably the women. Sunk in the +constant contemplation of their own families, our female citizens let +the days and years pass by, utterly ignoring their civic duties. While +women are supported by men, they have more time to spare for such +broad interests than men have; and one would naturally think that even +the lowest sense of honour would lead them to some form of public +usefulness in return for this immunity. As the English nobleman--the +conscientious one--sees in his wealth and leisure, his opportunities +for study and cultivation, only a heavy obligation to serve the State +which so well serves him, so should our women of leisure--the +thousands of them--feel in their free and sheltered lives a glorious +compulsion to serve the best interests of that society which maintains +them. + +The care of children is certainly the duty of women. The best care of +children means the best education. The woman who has not done her best +to improve the educational advantages of her city, State and +country,--of the world,--has not done her duty as a citizen or as a +woman. And, as education comes through every impression received by +the child, we must improve home and street and city and all the +people, to make a clean, safe, beautiful world, in which our children +may receive the unconscious schooling to which they have a right. + + + + +VIII. + +PRESUMPTUOUS AGE. + + +The ineffable presumption of aged persons is an affliction too long +endured. Much is told us of the becoming modesty of youth. Is no +modesty becoming a period of life when experience has given some +measure to merit? + +Why should youth be modest? Youth believes it can do all things, and +has had no proof to the contrary. But age,--age which has tried many +times and been met by failure; age, which has learned its limitation +by repeated blows, and become content with hard-worn compromise,--why +should age be so proud? + +In itself it is no distinction, being but the common lot of man. Those +who do not attain to it are by general consent of superior merit. +"Whom the gods love die young." + +Age is not desired and striven for,--not won by honourable effort. It +comes gradually upon us all, falling like rain upon the just and the +unjust. Taken simply in itself, it proves no more than that the aged +individual, if a man, has had sufficient strength and ingenuity to +keep himself alive; and, if a woman, that she has been sufficiently +pleasing and well-behaved to be kept alive by others. + +In very early times, when the world was young and life more exciting +and precarious than now, perhaps the above qualities were a sufficient +distinction. The constitution which survived the rigours of a crude +and uncertain diet and of an undiluted climate was a thing to be proud +of; and the visible proof that one had survived one's enemies did +indicate some superiority. + +But in a civilisation which takes special care of the infirm,--where +green young cripples grow to a ripe old age, and a bed-ridden pauper +may outlive many muscular labourers,--mere prolongation of existence +is no self-evident proof of either power or wisdom. Of two men born in +the same year, the more valuable man, doing more valuable work, is +quite as likely to die as an innocuous, futile, low-grade person, +paddling feebly with the tide. Of two women, one may smilingly repeat +herself by the dozen, and drift sweetly on from amiable juvenility to +as amiable senility; while another, working strenuously and +effectively, dies in her earnest youth or middle age. + +Survival is no longer a fair test of value. The wisdom of the ancients +is not the standard of our time. We do not think that a previous +century knows more than ours, but rather less; and, if Methuselah were +with us yet,--and retained his faculties,--he would be too much +confused between the things he used to believe and what he was +learning now to be a valuable authority. When learning was but +accumulated tradition, the old had an advantage over the young, and +improved it. Now that learning is discovery, the young have an +advantage over the old. + +If wisdom consisted merely in the accumulation of facts, the long-time +observer would assuredly have more of them than the new-comer. But the +wisdom that consists in a free and unbiassed judgment--a new +perception of the relation of things--comes better from a fresher +brain. This is not to say that age may not coexist with superiority, +but that age, _per se_, is not superiority. + +There are many aged persons in the work-house who are quite visibly +inferior to many young persons in the House of Commons. This suggests +a painful antithesis which is better omitted. Granting the origin of +this arrogance of the aged to have had some basis in primitive time, +it is easy to see how it has descended to us by the same principle +that maintains the fag system. + +Humanity has always its overlapping generations; and the child who is +crushed by the incontrovertible statement, "I am older than you are!" +waits to recoup himself on children yet to be. In his subordinate +position in youth he has no chance to escape from this injustice or to +retaliate; and he strikes a balance with fate by assuming the same +superiority over the new-comer. It is probable that we should never +outgrow the assumption until we have a generation of children taught +to respect conduct for its merits, not for simple duration, holding a +wise, strong, good person, however young, to be superior to an +ignorant or vicious one, however old. When the sense of justice and +the sense of logic of the child are not outraged in youth, we shall +find more modesty as well as more wisdom in old age. + +It is always interesting to see our psychic development following the +laws of nature, like any other growth. Under the law of inertia the +human mind, starting under a given concept, continues to enlarge in +that direction, unless arrested or diverted in some other force. So +this conception of age as essential superiority, naturally enough +begun, has been followed to strange and injurious extremes. And under +the law of conservation of energy--following the line of least +resistance--the aged naturally encroached upon the young, who were +able to make no resistance whatever. + +The respect and care for aged persons, which is so distinguishing a +mark of advanced civilisation, is due to two things: first, the +prolonged serviceability of parents; and, second, the social relation +which allows of usefulness to even the very old. In an early savage +tribe the elderly parent is of no special value to the newly matured +young, and the tribal service has more use for juvenile warriors than +for the ancient ones: wherefore the old folk are of small account, and +do not meet much encouragement to prolonged living. But with us, +though the child is grown quite sufficiently to hunt and fight and +reproduce his kind, he is not yet properly equipped for the social +service. He needs more years yet of parental assistance while he +accumulates knowledge in his profession or skill in his trade. + +Therefore, parentage is a longer and more elaborate operation with us +than with lower races, animal or human, and the parent consequently +more appreciated. This position is fondly taken advantage of by the +designing aged, oft-times with a pious belief in their righteous +ground which is most convincing. + +Because the human parent is of far more service to the young than +earlier parents, therefore our elders calmly assume that it is the +duty of the young to provide for and serve them,--not only to render +them natural assistance when real incapacity comes, but to alter the +course of their young and useful lives to suit the wishes of the old. +Among poor and degraded classes we see children early set to work for +the parents instead of parents working for the children,--a position +as unnatural as for a hen to eat eggs. Life is not a short circle, a +patent self-feeder. The business of the hen is to hatch the egg, and +of the egg to grow to another and different hen,--not to turn round +and sacrificially nourish the previous fowl. + +The duty of the parent is a deep-seated, natural law. Without the +parent's care of the child, no race, no life. The duty of the child to +the parent was largely invented by parents, from motives of natural +self-interest, and has been so long sanctioned and practised that we +look on without a shudder and see a healthy middle-aged mother calmly +swallowing the life of her growing daughter. A girl is twenty-one. She +has been properly reared by her mother, whom we will suppose to be a +widow. Being twenty-one, the girl is old enough to begin to live her +own life, and naturally wishes to. I do not speak of marrying,--that +is generally allowed,--but of so studying and working as to develope +a wide, useful life of her own in case she does not marry. + +"Not so," says her mother. "Your duty is to stay with me. I need you." + +Now the mother is not bed-ridden. She is, we will say, an able-bodied +woman of forty-five or fifty. She could easily occupy herself in one +of several trades; but, being in possession of a house and a tiny +income, she "does not have to work." She prefers to live in that +house, on that income, and have her daughter live with her. The +daughter prefers to go to New York, and study music or art or +dressmaking, whatever she is fit for. But here is her dear mother +claiming her presence at home as a duty; and she gives it. She does +her duty, living there with her mother in the capacity of--of what? In +no capacity at all. Fancy a young man living at home in the capacity +of a "son," with no better occupation than dusting the parlour and +arranging flowers! In course of time the mother dies. The daughter has +lost her position as "a daughter," and has no other place in life. +She has never been allowed to form part of the living organism of +society, and remains a withered offshoot, weak and fruitless. + +These cases are common enough. But consider from another point of view +the serene presumption of the elder woman. Because she had done--so +far--her duty by the child that was, she now claims a continuous hold +on the grown woman and a return for her services. + +In still earlier days this claim was made even more strenuously. The +child awe-fully addressed the father as "author of my being," and was +supposed to "owe" him everything. The child does not owe the parent. +Parental duty is not a loan. It is the never-ending gift of +nature,--an unbroken, outpouring river of love and labour from the +earliest beginnings of life. The child, while a child, has also some +duty to the parent; but even there it is reflex, and based in last +analysis on the child's advantage. + +Meanwhile it is a poor parent who cannot win the affection and command +the respect of the young creature growing up so near, so that a +beautiful relation shall be established between them for the rest of +life. This love and honest admiration, this affectionate friendliness, +and all the ties of long association would naturally prompt the child +to desire the society of the parent, and, of course, to provide for +illness and old age; but that is a very different position from the +one taken by an able-bodied, middle-aged parent demanding the +surrender of a young life. + +Parentage is not a profession with a sort of mutual insurance return +to it. The claim that humanity is born saddled with this retroactive +obligation requires more convincing proof than has yet been offered. + +An obligation we all have, young and old,--and to this the child +should be trained,--the vast and endless service of humanity, to which +our lives are pledged without exception. Seeing the parent devout in +this honourable discharge of duty,--realising that his own training is +with a view to that greater service when he is grown,--the child would +go onward in life with the parent, not backward to him. + +But we have not yet forgotten the habits and traditions of the +patriarchate. We demand from the young respect because we are older, +not because we deserve it. Respect is a thing which is extorted +willy-nilly by those who deserve it, and which cannot be given at +will. If a parent loses his temper and talks foolishly, how can a +child respect this weakness? To demand respectful treatment shows one +cannot command it; and, if it is not commanded, it cannot be had. Any +false assumption is a block to progress. So long as the aged expect to +be looked up to on account of the length of time in which they have +not died, so long will they ignore those habits of life which should +insure reverence and love at any age. + +People ought to be living with wise forethought and circumspection, in +order that they may be respected when old,--not carelessly lulled with +the comforting belief that, no matter how foolish they are, age will +bring dignity. + +So, too, if parents did not so fatuously demand respect merely because +they are parents, but would see to it that they deserve and win +respect by such visible power and wisdom as the child must bow to, we +might look for a much quicker advance in these desirable qualities. +The power of learning things does not cease at maturity. Many a great +mind has gone on to extreme old age, open, eager, steadily adding to +its store of light and power. Such keep the freshness and the modesty +of youth. Far more numerous are the little minds which imagine that +years are equivalent to wisdom, and, because they are grown up, +decline to learn further. Yet these, far more than the wise men, sit +back complacent on their age, and talk with finality of "my +experience"! + +Experience is not merely keeping alive. Experience involves things +happening and things done. Many a young man of to-day has done more +and felt more than a peaceful, stationary nonagenarian of yesterday's +rural life. That very brashness and self-assumption of hot youth, +which brings so complacent and superior a smile to the cheek of age, +would not be so prominent but for previous suppression and +contemptuous treatment. A lofty and supercilious age makes a rash and +incautious youth; but youth, trained to early freedom and its rich and +instructive punishments, would grow to an agreeable age, modest with +much wisdom, tender and considerate with long power. + + + + +IX. + +THE RESPECT DUE TO YOUTH. + + +Since we have so carefully and thoroughly beaten back the new +brain-growth which should distinguish each successive generation, and +fostered in every way the primitive mental habits of our forefathers, +the natural consequence is a prolonged survival of very early +tendencies. Outside, in the necessary contact and freedom of the +world's life, crude ideas must change, and either become suited to the +times or lost entirely. But in the privacy of the home, under the +conditions of family life and the dominant influence of feminine +conservatism, we find a group of carefully cherished rudiments which +never could have survived without such isolation. + +Among primitive races the stranger is an object of legitimate +derision. The differences in his speech and manner are held as visible +inferiorities, and his attempts to assimilate are greeted with +unchecked merriment. This attitude of mind is still common in +children, who are passing through the same stage of culture +individually. Among intelligent and well-bred grown people such an +attitude of mind is rightly despised. To them the stranger is entitled +to respectful consideration because he is a stranger; and nothing +could be ruder, in the estimation of such persons, than to laugh at +the stranger's efforts to learn our language and manners. + +How great is the difference between this common good breeding in the +world at large and the barbaric crudity of our behaviour at home to +that most sacred stranger, the child! He comes to us absolutely +ignorant of our methods of living, be they wise or unwise; and he must +needs learn every step of his way in the paths we have prepared for +him. Unfortunately, we have prepared very little. A few physical +conveniences, perhaps, in the way of high chairs and cradles, or +nursing-bottles to supplement maternal deficiency; but in psychic +conveniences--in any better recognition of the childish attitude of +mind and its natural difficulties--we make small progress. + +Calm, wondering, unafraid, the stranger enters the family circle. He +has no perspective, no gradations of feeling in regard to the +performances he finds going on about him. He has neither shame for the +truths of real life nor respect for the falsehoods of artificial life. +In soberness and eager interest he begins the mysterious game of +living. + +Now what is the attitude of the family toward this new-comer? How does +the intelligent adult treat the stranger within his gates? He treats +him with frequent ridicule and general gross disrespect. Not +"unkindly," perhaps,--that is, not with anger and blows or undue +deprivations,--but as if being a child was a sort of joke. A healthy +child is merry with the free good spirits of a spring-tide lamb; but +that pure mirth has nothing in common with ridicule. Who of us has not +seen a clear-eyed child struck dumb and crimson by the rude laughter +of his elders over some act which had no element of humour except that +it was new to him? We put grandpa's hat on the downy head of the baby, +and roar with laughter at his appearance. Do we put baby's cap on +grandma, and then make fun of the old lady's looks? Why should we jeer +at a baby more than at an old person? Why are we so lacking in the +respect due to youth? + +Every child has to learn the language he is born to. It is certain +that he will make mistakes in the process, especially as he is not +taught it by any wise system, but blunders into what usage he can +grasp from day to day. + +Now, if an adult foreigner were learning our language, and we greeted +his efforts with yells of laughter, we should think ourselves grossly +rude. And what should we think of ourselves if we further misled him +by setting absurd words and phrases before him, encouraging him to +further blunders, that we might laugh the more; and then, if we had +visitors, inciting him to make these blunders over again to entertain +the company? Yet this is common household sport, so long as there is a +little child to act as zany for the amusement of his elders. The +errors of a child are not legitimate grounds of humour, even to those +coarse enough to laugh at them, any more than a toddling baby's falls +have the same elements of the incongruous as the overthrow of a stout +old gentleman who sits down astonished in the snow. + +A baby has to fall. It is natural, and not funny. So does the young +child have to make mistakes as he learns any or all of the crowding +tasks before him; but these are not fair grounds for ridicule. + +I was walking in a friend's garden, and met for the first time the +daughter of the house, a tall, beautiful girl of nineteen or twenty. +Her aunt, who was with me, cried out to her in an affected tone, "Come +and meet the lady, Janey!" + +The young girl, who was evidently unpleasantly impressed, looked +annoyed, and turned aside in some confusion, speaking softly to her +teacher who was with her. Then the aunt, who was a very muscular +woman, seized the young lady by her shoulders, lifted her off the +ground, and thrust her blushing, struggling, and protesting into my +arms--by way of introduction! Naturally enough, the girl was overcome +with mortification, and conceived a violent dislike for me. (This +story is exactly true, except that the daughter of the house was aged +two and a half.) + +Now why,--in the name of reason, courtesy, education, justice, any +lofty and noble consideration,--why should Two-and-a-half be thus +insulted? What is the point of view of the insulter? How does she +justify her brutal behaviour? Is it on the obvious ground of physical +superiority in age and strength? It cannot be that, for we do not +gratuitously outrage the feelings of all persons younger and smaller +than ourselves. A stalwart six-foot septuagenarian does not thus +comport himself toward a small gentleman of thirty or forty. It cannot +be relationship; for such conduct does not obtain among adults, be +they never so closely allied. It has no basis except that the victim +is a child, and the child has no personal rights which we feel bound +to respect. + +A baby, when "good," is considered as a first-rate plaything,--a toy +to play with or to play on or to set going like a machine-top, that we +may laugh at it. There is a legitimate frolicking with small +children, as the cat plays with her kittens; but that is not in the +least inconsistent with respect. Grown people can play together and +laugh together without jeering at each other. So we might laugh with +our children, even more than we do, and yet never laugh at them. The +pathetic side of it is that children are even more sensitive to +ridicule than grown people. They have no philosophy to fall back upon; +and,--here is the hideously unjust side,--if they lose their tempers, +being yet unlearned in self-restraint,--if they try to turn the tables +on their tormentors, then the wise "grown-up" promptly punishes them +for "disrespect." They must respect their elders even in this pitiful +attitude; but who is to demand the respect due to youth? + +There is a deal of complaint among parents over the "impertinence" of +children. "How dare you speak to me like that!" cries outraged +authority. Yet "that" was only the expression used just before by the +parent to the child. + +"Hold your tongue!" says the mother. "Hold yours!" answers the child, +and is promptly whipped for impertinence. "I'll teach you to answer me +like that!" says angry mamma. And she does. + +In the baby's first attempt to speak we amused ourselves mightily over +his innocent handling of rude phrases,--overheard by chance or even +taught him, that we might make merry over the guileless little mouth, +uttering at our behest the words it did not understand. Then, a year +or so older, when he says the same things, he is laboriously and +painfully taught that what is proper for a parent to say to a child is +not proper for a child to say to a parent. "Why?" puzzles the child. +We can give no answer, except our large assumption that there is no +respect due to youth. + +Ask any conscientious mother or father why the new human being, fresh +from God as they profess to believe, not yet tainted by sin or +weakened by folly and mistake, serene in its mighty innocence and +serious beyond measure, as its deep eyes look solemnly into life,--why +this wonderful kind of humanity is to be treated like a court fool. +What can the parent say? + +From the deeper biological standpoint, seeing the foremost wave of +advancing humanity in each new generation, there is still less excuse +for such contemptuous treatment. In the child is lodged the piled up +progress of the centuries, and, as he shall live, is that progress +hastened or retarded. Quite outside of the natural affection of the +parent for the offspring stands this deep, human reverence for the +latest and best specimen of its kind. Every child should represent a +higher step in racial growth than its parents, and every parent should +reverently recognise this. For a time the parent has the advantage. He +has knowledge, skill, and power; and we feel that in the order of +nature he is set to minister to the younger generation till it shall +supplant him. To develope such a noble feeling has taken a long time, +and many steps upward through those cruder sentiments which led toward +it. Yet it is the rational, conscious feeling into which the human +being translates the whole marvellous law of parental love. + +To the animal this great force expresses itself merely in instinct; +but, as such, it is accepted and fulfilled, and the good of the young +subserved unquestioningly. In low grades of human life we have still +this animal parental instinct largely predominating, coloured more or +less with some prevision of the real glory of the work in hand. Yet so +selfish is human parentage that in earlier times children have been +sold as slaves in the interests of parents, have been and still are +set to work prematurely; and in certain races the father looks forward +to having a son for various religious benefits accruing to him, the +father. + +Sentiments like these are not conducive to respect for youth. The +mother is not generally selfish, in this sense. Her error is in +viewing the child too personally, depending too much on "instinct," +and giving very little thought to the matter. She loves much and +serves endlessly, but reasons little. The child is pre-eminently "her" +child, and is treated as such. Intense affection she gives, and such +forms of discipline and cultivation as are within her range, +unflagging care and labour also; but "respect" for the bewitching +bundle of cambric she has so elaborately decorated does not occur to +her. + +Note the behaviour of a group of admiring women around a baby on +exhibition. Its clothes are prominent, of course, in their admiration; +and its toes, fingers, and dimples generally. They kiss it and cuddle +it and play with it, and the proud mamma is pleased. When the +exhibitee is older and more conscious, it dislikes these scenes +intensely. Being "dressed up" and passed around for the observation +and remark of the grown-up visitors is an ordeal we can all remember. + +Why cannot a grown person advance to make the acquaintance of a child +with the same good manners used in meeting an adult? Frankness, +naturalness, and respect, these are all the child wants. And precisely +these he is denied. We put on an assumed interest--a sort of stage +manner--in accosting the young, and for all our pretence pay no regard +to their opinions or confidence, when given. Really well-intentioned +persons, parents or otherwise, will repeat before strangers some +personal opinion, just softly whispered in their ears, with a pair of +little arms holding fast to keep the secret close; dragging it out +remorselessly before the persons implicated, while the betrayed child +squirms in wretchedness and anger. + +To do this to a grown-up friend would warrant an angry dropping of +acquaintance. Such traitorous rudeness would not be tolerated by man +or woman. But the child,--the child must pocket every insult, as +belonging to a class beneath respect. + +Is it not time that we summoned our wits from their +wool-gathering,--however financially profitable the wool may be,--and +gave a little honest thought to the status of childhood? Childhood is +not a pathological condition, nor a term of penal servitude, nor a +practical joke. A child is a human creature, and entitled to be +treated as such. A human body three feet long is deserving of as much +respect as a human body six feet long. Yet the bodies of children are +handled with the grossest familiarity. We pluck and pull and push +them, tweak their hair and ears, pat them on the head, chuck them +under the chin, kiss them, and hold them on our laps, entirely +regardless of their personal preferences. Why should we take liberties +with the person of a child other than those suitable to an intimate +friendship at any age? + +"Because children don't care," some one will answer. But children do +care. They care enormously. They dislike certain persons always +because of disagreeable physical contact in childhood. They wriggle +down clumsily, all their clothes rubbed the wrong way, with tumbled +hair and flushed, sulky faces from the warm "lap" of some large woman +or bony, woolly-clothed man, who was holding them with one hand and +variously assaulting them with the other, and rush off in helpless +rage. No doubt they "get used to it," as do eels to skinning; but in +this process of accustoming childhood to brutal discourtesy we lose +much of the finest, most delicate development of human nature. There +is no charge of cruelty, unkindness, or neglect involved in this. + +Discourtesy to children is practised by the most loving and devoted +parents, the most amiable of relatives and visitors. Neither is it a +question of knowledge on the part of the elder. These rudenesses are +practised by persons of exquisite manners, among their equals. It is +simply a case of survival of an undeveloped field of human nature,--a +dark, uncultivated, neglected spot where we have failed to grow. The +same forces which have so far civilised us will work farther when we +give them room. We have but to open our minds and widen our sphere of +action to become civilised in these domestic relations. It is the +citizenship--the humanness--of the child we need to recognise, not +merely its relative accomplishments compared to ourselves. Also the +tendencies and restraint born of power and freedom should teach us to +respect the child precisely because of its helplessness. The principle +that urges even the bullying school-boy to "take a fellow of his own +size," and which forbids torturing a captive, killing an unarmed man, +or insulting an inferior, ought to put more nobility into our conduct +in relation to the child. As so much weaker, strength should respect +him; and, as one bound to supersede us, wisdom should recognise his +power. + + + + +X. + +TOO MUCH CONSIDERATION. + + +The child comes to the table. He looks a little weary, knowing the +task before him. + +"Now what will you have?" asks his fond mamma. "What would you like, +dear?" + +The child gazes at the dishes there present, and is somewhat attracted +toward one or more of them; but his brain thrusts upon him images of +other viands, and memories of triumph in securing some vaguely +remembered delicacy. He wavers in his mind, and wiggles his knife +uncertainly. "I guess--I'll have"--Mamma is all attention. "Have some +of this nice potato!" she urges. He had inclined toward the potato +previously, but rebels at its being urged upon him. Also the cooing +adjective affronts him. He has heard things called nice before, +usually when he did not want them. + +"No, I don't want any potato," he says. "I want--I'll have some sweet +potato!" + +Unhappily there is no sweet potato, and the good mamma smilingly +excuses the lack. "We will have some to-morrow," she promises; and, to +distract him from thought of the impossible, "Won't you have a chop?" + +"No--yes--I'll have one chop. On this plate, not on that plate. I +won't have it on that plate!" + +"But this plate is warm, dear." + +"I want it on my own plate!" + +"Very well. Will you have some gravy?" + +"Yes, I guess so. Not on the potato! Don't put it on the potato! I +won't eat it if you put it on the potato!" + +In time he eats, though not with eagerness. In his young mind is a +vague sense of annoyance and discomfort, as if he were in some way +defrauded of his dinner. The present dinner, rather gloomily going +down, is contrasted with other possible dinners, not now to be +attained. What he has suffers by comparison with all the things he has +not, and a dim memory of previous disappointments oppresses him. + +"He never did eat well," says his mother. "We have hard work to find +what he will eat." There may be some digestive disturbance, but there +is a quite needless psychological disturbance added. Choice is a +wearing thing, even to the trained scanner of _menus_. + +To select a meal exactly to one's taste, and not be haunted by the +unchosen dishes, means the prompt and skilful exercise of a widely +cultivated taste. Most of us gladly prefer to have some experienced +cook and caterer set a good meal before us. A pleased anticipation at +a well-known dinner table is a more agreeable frame of mind than that +of one who must needs select, spurred by a tall darkey with a pencil. + +A child has not a cultivated taste nor the calmness of experience. A +choice, even from objects before him, is uncertain enough. He is apt +to speedily regret and wish to change. To be called upon to order a +meal is a real tax upon him. While he exerts himself in this +direction, any proposition is likely to be resented; and, to one who +is on tiptoe in effort to decide, an insinuating suggestion from +without is extremely irritating. + +This method of consulting a child's preferences before he has them, +introducing alternatives not present and then harassing the wavering +young mind with persuasive propositions, rapidly developes a halting, +fretful, back-stitch sort of temper, always wishing it had done the +other thing. + +The old-fashioned method was to compel a child to eat "what was set +before him," all of it, quite regardless of his personal taste or +constitutional limitations. Nothing but palpable nausea convinced +these obdurate parents of earlier generations that there were some +things the little victim could not eat. This was a foolish and cruel +method. Children differ widely in digestive power and preference, and +their tastes are marked and sensitive. Eating what he does not like is +far more painful to a child than to an adult. But his tastes and +limitations can be discovered without concentrating his own attention +on them. It is bad to treat a child's tastes with less consideration +than those of older human beings; but there is no reason why they +should be treated with more. The simple lesson can be taught of +eating what he likes and leaving what he dislikes without vociferous +proclamation of these preferences; and, if he really thinks of +something else he would like to have for dinner, teach him to ask for +it for another time. He can readily understand that cooking takes +time, and extra dishes cannot be served at a moment's notice. + +A family is usually composed of several persons, all of whom should be +treated with justice. If it is reduced to two only,--if there is only +mother and child to decide between,--the decision should be fairly +balanced. The practical issues of daily life are almost always open to +a child's understanding. + +Mamma, we will say, is reading. Mabel is busy with doll's dressmaking. + +"O mamma! will you please get me the scissors?" + +"Can you not get them as easily, dear?" + +"I don't know just where they are, and I've been fussing ever so long +with this yoke; and now I've got it just right, and I'm afraid, if I +put it down, I'll forget again!" + +Mamma looks at the flushed, earnest little face, lays her book down, +and gets the scissors. + +Again. Mamma is stuffing the turkey. "Mabel, will you please bring me +down the largest needle on my cushion?" + +"Oh, but, mamma, I'm so busy with my paints!" + +"Yes; but you are upstairs already, and my hands are in the stuffing. +Please hurry, dear." + +Mabel brings the needle promptly. She knows that mamma is considerate +of her, and she is considerate of mamma. + +It is by no means necessary to argue over every little service, but a +few test cases keep in mind the idea of justice. If what a child wants +will give more pleasure to the child than trouble to the adult, do it. +If it is more trouble to the adult than pleasure to the child, do not +do it; and let the child understand, first, last, and always, the +balance of human rights. + +I knew a girl of thirteen who had not yet learned to keep herself +covered at night. She slept with her mother; and, if she wakened +chilly, she would murmur, without opening her eyes, "Mother, cover me +up!" And her mother would do it. This was unfair to the child. It +allowed her to commit a gross injustice; and her mother was +"compounding a felony," as it were, in indulging her. The child was +already awake, and quite capable of pulling up the blankets. There was +no reason why her tired mother should lose sleep for the purpose. The +practical way to exhibit this would be for the mother to waken the +child with the same demand. A few applications would be sufficient. If +verbal remonstrance was preferred (usually an inferior method), the +mother might quietly reply: "By no means. You are perfectly able to do +it. It is not fair to waken me for that. I do not get to sleep again +as quickly as you do, and am tired next day." A child already +reasonably trained would easily see the force of that argument. + +A big boy is persistently late to breakfast. This annoys his mother at +the time, and delays her work afterward. She saves and keeps hot +various viands for him, taking many extra steps; and her day's work +is rendered a little more difficult. If the breakfast hour is that +most convenient to the family needs, simply explain to the boy that +breakfast is at such a time only; that he will be called in due +season; and that, if he is not down within the given time, he will +find no breakfast whatsoever. This course, firmly followed, works like +a charm. Most people dislike going without breakfast. A child should +have sufficient sleep, of course; but, if his hours are reasonable, +there is no justice in incommoding the working mother for the sake of +a little natural laziness. With very little children we ingeniously +manage to ignore some of their really important questions and actions, +and at the same time to let them trample on our ears and brains with +senseless iteration of unnecessary words. + +A small boy is eating his supper, while his mother puts little sister +to bed. + +"Mother!" he bawls. "Mother! Mo-o-ther!" + +At last she leaves her task to come to him, he still shouting; and +this is his communication: "Mother! This is baker's bread!" + +"Yes, dear," says the too tender mamma, and goes back again. + +That child should have been met, not with anger or punishment, but +with very simple sarcasm and protest. + +"Yes, that is baker's bread,--and that is a plate,--and that is a +spoon. I knew all these things when I arranged your supper. Do you +think it is fair to call me downstairs just to say that?" + +The bubbling fluency of a child's mind, the tendency to repetition and +sometimes foolishness, is natural enough, and not to be blamed; but we +should help the child to outgrow it instead of submitting to his +wearisome reiterance. + +"But, my dear, you said that before. I understand. Now do not say it +again." + +To say, "Yes, dear," a dozen times to the same question or statement +is not strengthening to the child's mental habits. Similarly, when a +child asks palpably foolish questions,--foolish by his own +standard,--he needs not consideration, but mild ridicule. And, if he +can answer his own question, let him: it is no kindness to do all his +work. Children are not benefited by a too soft and yielding +environment, nor do they always love best those who treat them with +too much consideration. Fairness, not severity nor constant +concession, is what a child appreciates. If we behave fairly to the +child (as we would to a grown person), giving to him the healthy +reaction of common justice, we help him to live easily and rightly in +the world before him. + +Even love is open to measurement by results. The love we have for our +children is not developed in us as a pleasurable exercise, but is +distinctly for the child's benefit. "The maternal sacrifice" is what +our scientific friends call it. In studying early forms of life, we +find the mother sacrificing everything for the good of the young, from +which we draw the general inference that it is for the good of the +young to have the mother sacrifice everything. More discriminating +study will show us a great difference in maternal methods. Where the +mother's loss is the gain of the young, she cheerfully submits to it; +but, where the young is not benefited by her loss, we do not find it. + +The eggs of the hen are carefully brooded by the mother; the eggs of +the frog are left floating on the water in suitable places. There is +no special virtue in the hen's brooding or vice in the frog's neglect; +the mother does what is necessary for the young. The mother-cat licks +her little ones elaborately, and teaches them to make their toilettes +similarly. The cow licks the calf for a while, but gives it no +instructions in washing its ears with its paws. + +The mother-love is essential to the best care of the young, and +therefore it is given us. It is the main current of race preservation, +and the basis of all other love-development on the higher grades. But +it is not, therefore, an object of superstitious veneration, and in +itself invariably right. The surrender of the mother to the child is +often flatly injurious, if carried to excess. To put it in the last +extreme, suppose the mother so utterly sacrifices herself to the child +as to break down and die. She then robs the child of its mother, which +is an injury. Suppose she so sacrifices herself to the child as to +cut off her own proper rest, recreation, and development. She thus +gives the child an exhausted and inferior mother, which is an injury +to him. There are cases, perhaps, where it might be a mother's duty to +die for her child; but, in general, it is more advantageous to live +for him. The "unselfish devotion" of the mother we laud to the skies, +without stopping to consider its effect on the child. This error is +connected with our primitive religious belief in the doctrine of +sacrifice,--one of those early misconceptions of a great truth. + +It is necessary for the good of humanity that the interests of the one +be subordinate to the interests of the many, but it does not follow +that an indiscriminate surrender of one's own interests always +benefits society. On the contrary, a steady insistence on the rights +of the individual is essential to the integrity of the social +structure and its right workings. So it is necessary for the good of +the child that the interests of the mother be subordinated to his +interests, but it does not follow that her indiscriminate surrender +of personal interests always benefits him. On the contrary, a too +self-sacrificing mother tends to develope a selfish, short-sighted, +low-grade personality in the growing life she seeks to benefit, where +her honest maintenance of her own individual rights would have had a +very healthy effect. Not what the child wishes, nor what the mother +wishes, is the standard of measurement, but what is really beneficial +to the child. If the mother is frankly and clearly unselfish in their +daily intercourse, and then as frankly and clearly demands her own +share of freedom and consideration, the child gets a fairer view of +human rights than if he simply absorbs his mother as a natural victim. + +Little Mary has a visitor. Her mother is most polite and entertaining, +is with them when they desire it, and lets them alone when they +prefer. Then her mother has a visitor. "Mary," she says, "I am to have +company this week. I shall of course have to give a good deal of time +and attention to my friend, as you did to Hattie when she was here. +So you must not feel badly if you do not see as much of mamma as +usual." + +There must be the previous polite conduct of mamma to point to. The +childish mind needs frequent and conspicuous proof that mamma is +forgetting herself for his pleasure; and then he should be rationally +called upon to forget himself for her pleasure, when it is plainly +fair and necessary. + +The beautiful principles of kindergarten teaching are frequently +misapplied in the too conciliatory and self-denying methods of the +well-meaning mamma. Kindness, politeness, constant love, and all due +consideration the child should have; but justice is as important to +him as affection. It must always be remembered that the mother's love +is not an end in itself, nor the expression of it a virtue in itself. +It is to be measured, like every other natural function, by its use. + +When a child is reared in an atmosphere of unreasoning devotion and +constant surrender, he grows up to expect it, and to carry a sense of +grievance if he does not get it. The natural tendency of the mother +to love her own young is strong in us,--the maternal passion; but, +like all passions, it needs conscientious and rational restraint. The +human soul has grown to such a stage of development that we are +capable of loving and serving great numbers of people. The woman, who +is still confined to the same range of interests which occupied her in +the earliest grades of human life, inherits her share of this socially +developed power of loving, and concentrates it all upon her own +immediate family. + +Like an ever-enlarging burning glass, still focussed upon one spot, +the healthy, natural affection of the animal mother for its young has +grown to what is really an immense social affection, too large for one +family to profitably sustain. The child will get a far more just and +healthful idea of human relation when he finds himself lifted and led +on by a mother whose life has a purpose of its own, than when he finds +himself encompassed and overwhelmed by a mother who has no other +object or interest than himself. + +The whole question has to be constantly measured by comparing it with +the rest of life. Are our methods with children those which best fit +men and women for doing their share to maintain and develope human +life? Does not the most casual survey of life to-day show people +practising much amiability and devotion at home, strenuously loving +their own immediate families and friends, and most markedly deficient +in that general love for one another which is not only the main +commandment of our religion, but the plainest necessity for social +progress? And is not this deficiency to be accounted for, not by any +inability on our part for social devotion,--for every day's list of +accidents shows the common fund of heroism and self-sacrifice to be +large,--but by the training which makes it the habit of our lives to +love and serve only those nearest to us? + +The mother is the strongest formative influence in the child's life. +If he sees that she thinks only of him, lives only for him, what is he +to learn by it? To think only of himself? Or only of her? Or only of +his children? Does the best care of a child require the concentrated +and unremittent devotion of an entire mother? + +A larger intelligence applied to the subject may show us that there +are better ways of serving our children than those we now follow. The +woman who grows up in the practice of considering the needs of people +in general, and of so ordering her life as to benefit them, will find +a new power and quality in her love for her own dear ones. With that +widening of the soul-range of the mother will come a capacity to judge +the child as one of the people of the world, besides being her own +especially beloved. A study of what all children need will help her to +understand what her own child needs far more accurately than when she +thinks of him as the only one. The continuous application of the +mother to the child is not so advantageous as the quality of her +companionship and influence, and her sacrificial devotion too often +weakens his sense of justice and makes him selfish. + + + + +XI. + +SIX MOTHERS. + + +Broad-minded mothers of this time are keenly interested in +child-study, in that all too familiar and yet unknown field of "infant +psychology." They are beginning to recognise not only the salient fact +that "all children are different," but the equally important one that +all children have points in common. + +The need of union and discussion among mothers is resulting in the +mothers' clubs and parents' congresses, which form so noble an example +of the progressive thought. + +But so far, with all the kindly interest and keen desire for improved +methods of child-culture, the mother has to return and grapple with +her individual problem alone. + +Here are one or two simple and practical suggestions, the careful +pursuance of which, with some clear record of proceedings, would not +only be of immediate assistance to the mothers concerned, but to all +the other mothers yet to be aroused to the importance of such action. + +Let us suppose six mothers, to take a very low number,--six mothers in +one town, one village, or one city, even in the open country, so that +they could reach each other easily; six mothers, who were friends and +"social equals," and who were willing to admit the deficiencies of our +general present methods of child-culture, and also willing to improve +those methods. It is permissible for each mother to imagine that her +own methods are superior to those of the other mothers, as this will +give her a beautiful sense of helpfulness in allowing these superior +methods to be observed and studied by the less able. + +A conscious sense of inferiority is also no obstacle, for a mother +having that feeling would be eager to improve by study of the better +ways. + +These six mothers divide the working days of the week among them, +agreeing that each shall on her chosen day take charge of the children +of the other five. This might be for a part of the day or the whole +day, as is thought best,--let us suppose it merely for the afternoon; +and it could be limited, as desired, to children of a certain age, +and still further reduced, as a mild beginning, to one child apiece +from each family. + +This would give, as a minimum, five extra children on one afternoon a +week to each mother. The maximum would be of course uncertain; but, if +all the children of each mother were thus to go visiting for any part +of the day, it would give to each one day in which that larger +responsibility was undertaken, and five days free. There would remain +Sunday, in which each family, complete, would be at home. + +Now let us take a hypothetical case, and suppose that our six mothers, +with considerable trepidation, have chosen one child apiece that they +were willing to intrust for the afternoon to the watchful care of +these familiar friends. The children, be it rigidly insisted, are to +know nothing whatever of the purposes or methods involved. All that +little Johnny Black knows is that Mrs. White has asked him to come +over on Monday afternoon and play with Alice and Billy White, and some +other children that he knows, too; that presently Mrs. Green has them +come to her house on Tuesday, and Mrs. Brown on Wednesday; that his +mamma lets them all come and play with him on Thursday,--in short, +that his afternoons have become full and rich and pleasantly exciting, +like some wonderful procession of parties. + +"Not like regular parties, either," Johnny would explain. "You don't +have to dress up--much,--just be clean, to begin with. And they don't +have ice-cream and macaroons,--only just milk and crackers when you +get hungry; and--well, 'tisn't so much regular games and p'r'aps +dancin'--like a party,--we just play. And Mrs. White, or whichever one +'tis, she generally has some nice young lady in with her; and they +sort of keep things going,--as if 'twas a real party. It's nicer some +ways, I think." + +"And which place do you like best, Johnny?" + +"Oh, I do' know! Billy White has the biggest yard. But Jim Grey has +the best swing; and there's a pond at Susy Green's,--a real pond,--and +nothing but girls live there! Then it's lots of fun when they come to +our house, 'cause I can show 'em my rabbits and make Jack do all his +tricks." + +Yes, the children all enjoy it. It means variety, it means company, it +means a wider and closer acquaintance and all the benefits of +well-chosen association and larger environment. It fills a part of the +day. There is no more aimless asking, "What shall I do now?" with the +vague response, "Oh, run away and play!" or the suggestion of some +well-worn amusement. + +It means, too, a little more sense of "company manners" and behaviour, +and, on the other hand, a better appreciation of home life. + +And to the mother,--what good will this do her? + +Each mother would have one day in the week in which to carefully +observe children,--_not_ her own specially beloved children, but just +children, as such. Her observation and care should be absolutely +unobtrusive: the moment the little ones knew they were being watched, +the value of the plan would be greatly impaired; and, to stop at a +minor detail, from the palpable necessity for doing this work without +the child's consciousness, mothers would learn to cover the machinery +of government at home. It is one of our grossest and most frequent +errors in the management of children that we openly discuss our +efforts and failures. They know that we are struggling to produce +certain results in their behaviour, usually in a futile manner. + +With, however, a large and definite purpose resting so absolutely on +the child's unconsciousness, more wisdom in this line would soon +develope. + +The mother who now says, "What would you do with a child like that?" +or "I'm sure I don't know what to do with that child!" before the +child in question, would soon perceive that such an attitude in an +educator does not produce confidence in the object of the education. +Quietly and unostentatiously, and often with the assistance of some +keen girl-friend, these mothers would soon learn to observe +accurately, to generalise carefully, to reduce cautiously, and then to +put the deduction into practice and observe the results. + +As beginners, pioneers, they should make their first steps very +modestly. For the first season some one trait should be chosen for +study,--say self-control or courage or consideration of others. Having +decided on their line of observation, let each mother make a little +note of how high each child in the group stands in this line. + +How much self-control has my Johnny, as measured by his age?--as +compared with others of his age? When did I first notice self-control +in Johnny? When have I seen it greatest? Does he gain in it? What +should be done to help Johnny gain in self-control? And then go over +the same questions with regard to the other children. + +Then, with self-control as the characteristic, the natural development +and best education of which they wish to study, the afternoon parties +begin. At first the children might be left absolutely free to play in +ordinary lines. Then, after the first observations were recorded, +delicate experiments could be introduced, and their results added to +the record. + +It is very difficult for the individual mother to rightly estimate +her own children. "Every crow thinks her babe the blackest." + +Yet the character of the child is forming without regard to any fond +prejudice or too severe criticism; and his life's happiness depends on +his interaction with people in general, not simply with beloved ones +at home. The measure of Johnny's self-control may not seem important +to the parental love which covers or the parental force which compels; +but to Johnny's after-life its importance is pre-eminent. When one +sits for a portrait to a fond and familiar friend, and sees all +fondness and familiarity die out from the eyes of the artist, feels +one's personality sink into a mass of "values," it brings a strange +sense of chill remoteness. So, no doubt, to the mother heart the idea +of calmly estimating Johnny's self-control and comparing it with Jim +Grey's seems cold enough. To have Mrs. Grey estimate it,--and perhaps +(terrible thought!) to estimate it as less than Jim's,--this is hard, +indeed. + +Yet this is precisely what is to be obtained in such a combination as +this, and in no other way,--the value of an outside observer, through +Mrs. Grey's estimate. + +Nobody's opinion alters facts. The relative virtues of Johnny and Jim +remain unchanged, no matter what their respective mothers think or +what their irrespective mothers think. But each mother will derive +invaluable side-lights from the other mother's point of view. + +Each opinion must be backed with illustration. Instances of observed +behaviour must be massed before any judgment has value. + +"I think your Jim is so brave, Mrs. Grey. When the children were with +me the other day, the cow got loose; and the girls all ran. Some boys +ran, too; and Jimmy drove her back into the cow-yard." + +"But Jimmy was the oldest," says Mrs. White. "Perhaps, if he'd been as +young as my Billy, he wouldn't have been so brave." + +"And he is afraid of the dark," says Mrs. Brown. "At my house he +wouldn't go into the back cellar after apples, even with the other +children. Isn't he afraid of the dark, Mrs. Grey?" + +Mrs. Grey admits this, but cites instances to show courage in other +directions. And always five dispassionate observers to the one deeply +loving and prejudiced. + +If it should happen that Jimmy is generally admitted brave beyond his +years, with the one exception of fearing darkness, and that exception +traceable to a nurse-maid's influence, the mother of Jimmy is +rejoiced; and a strong light is thrown on the nurse question. If it +prove that by general opinion there is a lack of courage such as +should belong to his years, there is cause for special study and +special action in this line. Most valuable of all, the habit of +observing a child's behaviour as an expression of character is formed. + +The six mothers would of course meet to compare notes, preferably in +evenings, when children were all in bed and fathers could be present; +and the usual difficulty of leaving home in the evening could be met +in such an important case as this by engaging some suitable person to +come in for an hour or two and stay with the sleeping little ones. + +All such details would have to be arranged according to personal and +local conditions; but the end to be attained is of such enormous value +that considerable effort is justified in reaching it. Even in the +beginning, a usefulness would be found in the united interest, the +mutual helpfulness of the combined women, drawn together by the +infinite and beautiful possibilities of their great work. In the light +of other eyes, they would see their own children in new lights, and, +by careful following of agreed lines of treatment, soon learn with +some finality what would and what would not be useful in a given case. + +The observations and experiments of one earnest group of mothers like +this would be a stimulus and help to uncounted thousands of ungrouped +mothers who are struggling on alone. + +It is by such effort as this, such interchange of view and combined +study, and the slowly accumulating record of established facts, that +humanity progresses in any line of similar work,--in floriculture or +horticulture or agriculture, or what you will; and this greatest of +all our labours, humaniculture, sadly lacks the application of the +true social law,--in union is strength. + +The child needs not only love, but wisdom and justice; and these grow +best in the human soul through combination. + + + + +XII. + +MEDITATIONS ON THE NURSE-MAID. + + +"The trouble with these household problems which vex women so much is +that we do not give our minds to them sufficiently," said earnest +little Mrs. Blythe. "Now I mean to give my mind to this nurse-maid +problem, and work it out." + +It is high time that somebody did. And it is not only on my own +account: this is something which affects us all,--all who have +nurse-maids, that is. I suppose the mothers without nurse-maids have +their problems, too; but I must consider mine now. + +Now what is the matter with the nurse-maid? She does not suit me. She +has palpable faults and deficiencies. I want a better nurse-maid. So +far I have trusted to the law of supply and demand to produce her, but +it does not seem to work. I demand her, just as I have demanded a +better housemaid for some time; but the supply is not forthcoming. So +now I mean to think it out, and see if I cannot find a way to the +invention, discovery, or manufacture of a better nurse-maid. And I +mean to be very clear and logical in my thinking about it, so as to +come out in the end with proof. I want to prove what is the matter +with the nurse-maid and how to make her better. + +In the first place, what are my objections to the nurse-maid now? She +is careless and irresponsible. She is ignorant. She is ill-mannered. +She is often deceitful. I can't trust her. + +Now it doesn't seem right that my child should be placed in the care +of an ignorant, ill-mannered, careless, and irresponsible +person,--even if not also untrustworthy,--does it? And it does not +relieve me of the care as it ought. I have to take care of the child +and the nurse-maid, too. What I want is a careful, responsible, wise, +well-mannered, honourable young girl. She ought to have special +training, too. It is really dreadful the way these ignorant girls +undertake to care for children. We need schools--training schools--and +diplomas. They could have practice classes on the children of the +poor--or in institutions; and yet that idea does not quite suit me, +either. My child is very individual and peculiar, and I don't believe +that practising on poor children would fit a nurse-maid to take care +of my child. But nice people would not want their children to be +practised on. They would have to take the poor ones: it would do them +good, anyway. They get no care now: their mothers are shockingly +ignorant and neglectful. + +But, after all, I don't have to arrange the training schools. I only +know that she ought to have special training, and it ought to be +practical as well as theoretical; and that means practising on some +children somewhere, somehow. And they certainly would have to be poor, +because rich people would not let their children go to be practised +on. Maybe the poor people would not, either. Then it would have to be +orphans, I guess, combining nurse-training schools with orphan +asylums, and foundlings, too. + +Well, now these nurse-maids would go to these training schools to +improve themselves, would they! Come to think of it, they only go to +nursing because they need the pay; and, even if the training schools +were free, they'd have to wait longer for their money. And, if they +got no more with training than without, they would not go, I'm afraid. +We should certainly have to pay them more trained than untrained. That +is perfectly logical, I'm sure. And, of course, that would be an +obstacle. If the training schools were not free, we should have to pay +them more yet,--enough to make it worth while to study the business of +caring for children. A short course might do,--six months or a year. + +I've heard my mother say that she knew something about taking care of +children by the time Charley was born. But that was,--well, I was +eight, and I'm the third,--that was about twelve years. Oh, but she +wasn't in a training school! That would teach them faster. There would +be more children to practise on. Let me see: if it took my mother +twelve years to learn by practising on five children (Charley was the +fifth,--four children), how many children would it take to learn on in +one year? I'll get John to do that for me: I'm not good at figures. +Besides, it's different,--altogether different; for my mother was a +mother, so she knew how, to begin with, and nurse-maids are not. +So--to be strictly logical--it ought to take nurse-maids longer, I'm +afraid. The training schools will have to be free: I'm pretty sure of +that. And that means public or private endowment. We might as well +think it all out clearly. + +Should it be added to the public-school system,--open to all +girls,--perhaps compulsory? Why not! Why wouldn't it be a good thing +for all girls to know something of the care of children? But could we +do that? Public schools are in politics; and that is awful. It would +take forever to get it that way; and my child wants a nurse-maid now! +Private endowment, I guess. So many rich people want to help the +masses. This would furnish employment, raise wages, and give us +nurse-maids. I'm sure it would appeal to any philanthropist. + +Yes, some rich person must endow a training school for nurses,--that +sounds like hospitals; for child-nurses,--that sounds like +wet-nurses; for nurse-maids,--why need they be maids, though? Well, if +they were married, they would have children of their own of course, +and couldn't take care of ours. One would think, though, that +motherhood would give them more experience,--that they would know how +to care for children better. But, then, they wouldn't want to leave +their own children to take care of ours. And they couldn't take care +of them together. A mother would naturally do more for her own: she +wouldn't be fair. + +A training school for nurse-maids. After all, "maid" does not mean +"unmarried" in this connection: it means simply "servant." And "nurse" +comes from the time when mere nursing was all that was required,--a +kind of a survival of old customs. How these things do open up, when +one thinks about them! Why "nurse-maid" at all! Why not have a new and +attractive name: that would help make them go to the training school, +too. + +Nurse, nursing,--it isn't nursing our children want. They are not +sick, and they don't stay babies all the time they need this person. +What is it that our children need? Of course, they do need direct, +personal care; and, when they are babies, they need real +"nursing,"--just somebody to--to--well, they have to be fed,--and that +only needs a knowledge of infant physiology and nutrition; to keep the +bottles clean, of course, and be very accurate, and follow directions. +They don't need to know so much after all: the doctor tells what to +give it to eat and what not to. And the mother understands the child's +needs! Still, even for babies, they need some kind of training,--the +nurses, I mean,--not the mothers: it is divinely implanted in the +mother. And, then, mothers are studying these things now. I know ever +so many young mothers who are taking child-study now; and about +nutrition, too. + +But the trouble is they can't depend on the nurses to carry out +instructions. If they were only trustworthy! Will the training schools +make them honourable? I suppose so. They would get some sense of the +importance and dignity of their work. They would be graded and +marked, of course, in their diplomas, so that one could pick out the +dependable ones; and that would gradually elevate the standard. The +trouble is, of course, when they go out. Children must be out of +doors; and, in cities where we have no yards, they cannot be under the +mother's eye, so they must be out with the nurse-maid. That's +perfectly logical. Then there are the other nurse-maids. One cannot +keep them isolated: that's out of the question. And if they have +admirers, as they do, of course,--young girls always will have +admirers, and training schools will not alter that,--why, if they meet +their admirers, it has a tendency to make them careless. That is +natural. We must allow for such things. And it is a perfectly natural +temptation to take the baby to see their own families. We forbid it, +of course; but I admit that it is a temptation. And there are all +those awful risks of diseases and things. Now, if their families were +nicer people and lived in nicer places,--but then they wouldn't want +to be nurse-maids! But if the training school raises wages and +standards, that will have an effect on the class of people who take +up the work. + +It certainly is the noblest, most beautiful, most important work in +the world,--the training of children. I wonder why our own girls do +not take it up,--our college girls. But then, of course, they wouldn't +be "nurse-maids." Perhaps, if it had another name-- + +Now let me think, and be fair. Would I want my sister Jessie to be a +nurse-maid? She is taking a kindergarten course, and we all approve of +that: it does help one so in all those problems that perplex a mother! +But, if she went to Mrs. MacAdoo's as a nurse-maid-- The MacAdoos are +nice people, too; and the children are as nice as any I know. They have +a Swedish nurse-maid now,--a big, hearty, wholesome-looking girl, but +stupid. Why, she cannot answer the simplest questions Harold asks, +hardly; and he's always asking them. Jessie has him in the kindergarten +where she is. I don't mean that she's the principal, but she is +training there; and she tells me what a bright child he is, and what +stupid things Christine has told him. And you see he has Jessie only +three hours a day, and Christine all the time he's awake. Jessie is +taking a special course in infant psychology, and she says Christine is +doing him a world of harm. But she is so good-natured and faithful that +they keep her. They don't realise that her being stupid is any harm to +the children, I suppose. But, if Jessie had him all the time, Harold +certainly would develope more rationally and more easily. And yet I am +sure Jessie would not take Christine's place. You see we visit the +MacAdoos, and it would be so awkward. Now, I think,--logically,--I am +approaching a--I forget the name of it, but it's a thing there's no way +out of. + +We would like our nurse-maids to be ladies, but ladies are not willing +to be nurse-maids. Now will the training school make ladies--or, at +least, partial ladies--of our nurse-maids? And, if it does, will that +make them disinclined to be nurse-maids? Or can we arrange the +position of the nurse-maid, so that ladies will be willing to take it? +What is the real difference between Jessie's position and +Christine's? Why, Jessie has a lot of children come to her part of the +time; and Christine has a few children, and goes to them all the time. +And Jessie has,--or will have when she's graduated and has a +kindergarten of her own, as I daresay she will,--she has control of +the children while they are with her, and can carry out her +principles. The mothers even consult her sometimes. + +But Christine has to carry out the mother's orders. She does what she +is told--or ought to. No, Jessie never would be willing to take Mrs. +MacAdoo's orders about the children. Mrs. MacAdoo is exceptionally +stupid about children, I do think. She doesn't think Christine's +telling them stories about things to frighten them is any harm,--says +they'll outgrow it. And anybody who knows anything of infant +psychology knows how dangerous it is to frighten children. And yet, of +course, to be perfectly fair, I wouldn't want a nurse-maid to dictate +to me about my child. It is out of the question--absolutely. Why, it +would destroy the mother's influence and authority altogether! +And--come to think of it--I suppose a trained nurse-maid would have +views of her own, and they might conflict with the mother's-- + +Now, where I have got to so far,--it is beautiful, thinking things out +clearly,--we want our children taken care of by ladies, honourable, +intelligent, educated, refined, and specially trained for the +business. I'm quite certain about that. Like Jessie, for instance. She +is just born for it,--always did love children, and knew how to manage +them from the time she was a little girl. And she's studying all the +science of it and practising in the kindergarten,--on the same kind of +children, too. Jessie is the ideal. It is really wonderful to see her +with them. They love her, and they do what she says, too; but she +never seems to be making them do anything: they just do it. Those +MacAdoos behave very much better with her than they do with their +mother. I believe most of the children do, for that matter. Except +little Cassie Wells. She has the most devoted mother I ever saw. It is +a lesson to us all. She never lets her out of her sight, I do +believe. Often comes to the kindergarten, just to be with her. And, +you see, Cassie just depends on her for everything; and nobody else +can do anything with her. It is beautiful,--such absolute dependence +and absorption. Yes, as I said, Jessie is the ideal. But, then, Jessie +is not a nurse-maid, and never would be. + +Of course, if there was any way that Jessie could have the children +with her and have her way with them, as she does in the +kindergarten--But you can't do that with little children,--you cannot +separate the child from its mother! When they are older, they go to +school, of course; and, when they are older yet, they go to college, +and so on. But the little child needs its mother every hour. And, as +its mother cannot possibly give it every hour, we have to have the +nurse-maid. If mothers had no other claims, then, of course, you would +have the highest ideal relation. Cassie Wells's mother has given up +everything else. She doesn't go out with her husband at all. Says that +society has no claim beside that of the child. Of course, he stays at +home with her--mostly. + +I'm sure a man ought to value his wife's society more than any other, +especially when she is such a devoted mother. She takes all the +periodicals about children, and reads all the books; and then she +modifies it all to suit her particular child. I never knew any mother +so conscientiously given up to the care of a child. She really talks +of nothing else. And, when that child is sick,--and she is extremely +delicate and always having dangerous illnesses,--her mother is simply +glued to her bedside: they can't drag her away. It is a pity that the +child is not better material; for she isn't particularly bright, nor +very well behaved, I think. But, then, her mother is doing everything +that can be done. + +Jessie says that child is being mothered too much,--that she needs +more freedom and an impartial outside management. But, then, Jessie is +a good deal of a theorist; and, after all, she isn't a mother. Nothing +can really equal the mother's care for her own child! Still, we simply +can't do it,--all of us,--as families increase. We owe something to +our husbands, I am sure; and we have our social duties; and our +health is not always equal to such a strain. No, the mother must have +help; and that means the nurse-maid. It's no use talking about Jessie. +Even if she would do it, there's not enough of her to go around! We +never can expect that "faculty with children" in everybody: they +simply don't have it. Most girls don't care much for children, nor +know anything about them. Of course, after they become mothers, it is +different. Then it all comes to them. + +Now, if nurse-maids could be mothers first-- But I argued that out +before. If they were, they wouldn't be mothers of our children; and +motherhood only teaches how to do what is best for one's own children. +Besides, we couldn't hire them then, because we would not separate +mothers from their own children; and, if they had their children and +ours, too, they would not treat them fairly. And we would not want +them brought up with ours, either. No, they've got to be "maids," +that's sure. + +Now the average young girl does not know or care much about children. +Therefore, she has to be trained. (What a comfort it is to be really +logical!) And, as there is no place to train them now, we have got to +make a place. It all comes round to the training school for +nurse-maids. That's the logical outcome. + +Again, since we must have private nurse-maids under our +orders,--really a servant,--we cannot expect ladies to take such +positions. And--this ought to be bracketted with that last--since we +cannot, of course, pay more than so much, that is against ladies doing +it, too. Some people can, I know. Jessie told me of a very nice girl +she knew,--a classmate in college and a trained kindergartner,--who +was unable to get such a position as she wanted, and took a place with +some very rich people as a sort of lady nurse-teacher to the children. +But she said it was perfectly horrid, especially in travelling, having +to eat with servants and be treated as such. I can see that it would +take a kind of heroism, and we cannot really count on heroic +nurse-maids. No, it has to be from the lower classes that we take our +nurse-maids. I think that is proved. The average employer simply +couldn't pay them enough to attract a higher class of labour. These +are really questions of political economy in part, you see. + +The ordinary young girl of the lower classes,--that is the raw +material of our nurse-maid. Naturally, she is ill-mannered or +unmannered, and careless and ignorant and all those things. Therefore, +we must train her. In order to do that, we must first provide the +training school, and, second, make her go to it. Now I wonder how we +could do that. The higher wages would be an object of course: that +would have to be insisted on. And we might "create a sentiment." +That's it! That's what we must do,--create a sentiment. + +But it's no use doing anything till we've got the school. And I worked +that out as having to be done by private endowment. That involves +agitation, of course; and we must set about it. We can get teachers +plenty, there is so much interest in child-study now; and it will be a +splendid thing for the lower classes to take their young girls and +train them thoroughly in the theory of child-culture. It will make +them so much better mothers afterward, when they do marry, after +spending some years in taking care of our children,--putting their +theories in practice! But wait. That looks queer. Looks as if the rich +people were furnishing elaborate instruction free,--to young women of +the lower classes,--and then paying them good wages for practising on +the children of the upper classes, so that the poor women might be +better mothers afterward. + +I must have made a mistake somewhere. I'm going to reverse that +position, and see how it would work. Suppose young girls of the upper +classes took elaborate instruction in child-culture, and then +practised on the children of the lower classes, in order to be better +mothers afterward. That seems more satisfactory, somehow; yet it means +a lot of work. It would do our girls good--I can see that--and do the +children of the lower classes good, and, no doubt, make the girls +better mothers. Besides, I'm wasting time,--"arguing in a circle," +John would say; for that upper-class-girl hypothesis wouldn't give us +nurse-maids. Now where was I? Mothers have to have help; _i.e._, +nurse-maids. These have to be private servants at low wages: +therefore, ladies would not do it. Therefore, we must have our +children taken care of by girls from the lower classes. They are not +suitable persons to take care of children as they stand: therefore, we +must train them. + +Now I mean to really work for this thing,--to create a sentiment. I'll +begin early in the autumn, as soon as we get back. And I'm so glad I'm +going to have such a lovely summer to make me fit for it. You see I'm +very much pulled down. Little John has been such a care, and the +nurse-maids I've had have been so unreliable. Why, the child has been +sick again and again just through their carelessness. I'm sure of it. +And mother said I simply must go away and build up, for the child's +own sake; and John agreed with her--for once. And there's such a +lovely arrangement for the summer: nothing ever happened more +conveniently. You see Jessie is such an enthusiast about children. And +she has planned to be at home this summer. Our home is perfectly +lovely, anyway, and very healthy,--quite in the country, and yet +within easy reach of town. They're going to have the Summer School of +Child-study there at Seabay this year, and Jessie has several of her +class visiting her. And she said, in her solemn, funny way, that they +must have specimens to work on,--first-class specimens! She insisted +on little John, of course, and she's persuaded Clara and George to let +her have their three for a while; and the little MacAdoos are to be +there, too. It will be a regular picnic for the children. It took a +long time to bring me round to it. But, then, it's my own lovely home. +I know how healthy it is. And mother will be there. And one of +Jessie's friends is a doctor, and in a children's hospital, too. She +ought to see that everything is right for their health. So, if they +are happy in that lovely old place, and healthy and well taught and +safe, why, I suppose I can leave. + +Of course, I wouldn't for anything on earth but health. Mrs. Wells was +perfectly horrified when I told her. They asked Cassie, too; but she +wouldn't hear of it. She said nothing but death should ever separate +her from her child. And, dear me, Cassie looked so white that it +really seemed as if it would. She made me feel guilty again; but John +can't come to any harm with my mother's experience and Jessie's +knowledge and natural talent. That's the main thing. Jessie always +cared more for children than I did,--except little John, of course. +They've fixed the place up on purpose for children. Such arrangements +for bathing and digging and mud-pieing and gardening and so on you +never saw. There is something for those chicks to do all the blessed +time, and these nice girls--my own friends--to be with them every +minute. You see they take turns and relieve each other, so they are +always fresh for the children. And, then being so enthusiastic and +scientific, it isn't drudgery to them. They are studying all the time. +And how glad I shall be to get back in the fall! Then I can work up +that training school for nurse-maids. + + + + +XIII. + +CHILDREN AND SERVANTS. + + +In the growing discontent with our present methods of household +service, while we waver between long-held prejudice, old and dear, and +the irresistible pressure of new conditions, it is worth while to +weigh well the relation between this present method of house-service +and our present method of child-culture. + +The home is the place in which we rear young children. It is also the +place in which we perform certain kinds of labour, mainly cooking, +cleaning, and sewing. In the vast majority of our homes, fully +nine-tenths of them, as shown by the United States Census Report, +giving the number of domestic servants in proportion to the number of +families, these industries are carried on by the mother. She is the +domestic servant. In the remaining one-tenth of our homes the labour +is performed by hired servants, the maid-of-all-work still greatly +predominating. The questions here suggested for consideration are: +first, is a mother, who is also a house-servant, able to supply +proper conditions and care to young children? And, second, is the +company of domestic servants, other than their mothers, and constant +association with their industries, a desirable condition for the +education of young children? + +It is, of course, difficult to consider with any clearness of +perception facts which have been always familiar. The association of +child and servant is so old that it makes no impression on our +consciousness. It will, perhaps, bring out the relation more vividly +to change the sex of the servant. Suppose a man is left with boys to +educate. Suppose he engages a tutor for his boys. He is willing to pay +well for a man with the proper ability, character, and training to +come and benefit his children by instruction and association. Would +such a man be willing to engage a tutor who was also a janitor? Would +he be willing to spare the time required to fill the janitor's +position from the time required to fill the tutor's position? Or would +he be willing to engage a man who had so little fitness for the +profession of tutor as to be content to act as janitor also? + +Again, in sending his boys to school to be educated, would a man be +willing to have that school also run as a restaurant, a laundry, and a +tailor shop? Would he think these industries and the society of the +persons engaged in them good educational influences? It is clear that +a man would not be willing to do these things. Yet all men cheerfully +intrust their children, during their most impressionable years, to the +society and care of domestic servants and the constant association +with domestic industries. In most cases the servant is also the +mother. In other cases the servant is not the mother. In either case +the child grows up in association with domestic servants and service. + +Let us not too readily conclude that this is an evil, but examine it +carefully, in its physical and psychical effects. Physically, the +child is born into a certain kind of shop or factory. The conditions +of any labour in the home are particularly open to criticism; our +sweat-shop investigations show that in glaring instance. Intimate +associations with a trade, and especially a dirty or dangerous one, +does not seem advantageous to a child's health and progress. In nine +homes out of ten the child is directly associated with the trades of +his mother, who is a cook, a laundress, a cleaner in general; and the +baby is early accustomed to the fumes and heat of the kitchen, to +grease and ashes and dust, to all the kitchen-work, laundry-work, +chamber-work, and endless miscellaneous industries of his mother. In +the other tenth of our homes the child grows up a little removed, but +not far, from these same industries. They go on under his eyes none +the less, but with a certain ban upon them, as servant's work. + +Any mother and housewife knows the complications continually arising +between children and servants. Early associations are deep and +lasting. Domestic servants are not, as a rule, either at all trained +in the right treatment of children or in such personal development of +character and manners as would make them desirable companions for the +young. Yet companions they are,--incessant, intimate, unavoidable. +The formative influence of a nurse-maid or of a maid-of-all-work is of +varying weight in different cases, but always a factor in the child's +development. The education of a child consists in every impression +received by the growing brain, not merely those received when we are +instructing it. We might give an hour a day to careful instruction in +good manners: we might ourselves be models of propriety; but, if the +child is also in the society of conspicuously ill-mannered persons +every day, an effect will surely be produced by them. + +It may be suggested that an end is to be attained through exhibiting +the deficiencies of servants, and exhorting the child to despise them, +as the Spartans used the Helots for an awful example; but, even if +this were gained, there would follow with it a spirit of scorn and +contempt for fellow-creatures most injurious to true social +development. + +A little child should be surrounded with the best influences of all +sorts, and with behaviour not to avoid, but to imitate. The long +period of immaturity, which is one of our human distinctions, has its +value in the accumulated improvements which may be built into the race +in that time. It is a period of enrichment, of clear growth. To expose +the young to disadvantageous conditions, especially the very young, is +a method of education finding no precedent in nature and no +justification in reason. The adult, with developed powers, may find in +some degree of difficulty a stimulus to further effort; and, if +confronted with injurious conditions, may strive the harder to escape +or change them. But the new person, the child, has no background. He +can make no comparisons. He accepts his first environment +unquestioningly as "the world"; it is all the world he knows. For the +very reason that we were all born and reared in the domestic factory, +we find it hard to imagine any other conceivable surroundings for a +young human being to meet life in. We have accepted it without dream +of criticism. + +Yet in physical conditions alone the household industries furnish a +large and constant element of danger to the child. A most casual +retrospect of the accidents common to childhood, which so shock us in +the daily press, show this with startling clearness. Children suffer +from accidents by fire, by boiling water, by sharp instruments, by +injurious substances taken into the stomach. The industry of cooking +alone involves the free use of fire, a constant succession of hot +products, many sharp instruments for cutting and stabbing, and various +food elements healthful in combination,--but often injurious when +taken separately by one ignorant of their nature. The kitchen and the +laundry are responsible for many horrible and sudden deaths among +young children, and many more painful accidents. + +Given the essential ignorance and as essential experiments of +childhood, and we may well wonder how it has so long seemed good to us +to bring up our babies among such large chances of danger. If we +reared them in stables, we should expect them to be kicked +occasionally; if we placed them in saw-mills, we should look for some +deficit in fingers; and a child in a cook-shop has his steady average +risk of injury by fire, steel, or poison; in the laundry, the added +chance of drowning. Apart from these main sources of danger, he finds +in sweeping, dusting, and all the uncounted activities of household +toil much that is detrimental to health and safety. + +To avoid these dangers, our first effort has been to train the child +to a prompt and instant obedience, such as conditions of imminent +danger and military rule alone can justify, and also to check his +natural and most valuable tendency to investigate and experiment. The +labours of the household must go on: economic laws are peremptory; and +the servant, who is educating the baby so unconsciously, cannot stop +work to explain or illustrate. + +On the contrary, the very presence of the child is inimical to the +proper performance of these imperative industries; and the flushed and +hurried servant cries: "Run away now. Mamma's busy!" Where is the +child to run to? This is home. When is mamma not busy? To properly +perform the household labour of an average family, which is of five +persons in an average house,--say of six rooms,--takes ten hours a +day of swift, intelligent, skilled labour. During what part of this +time can the household labourer give due attention to the child? Or is +it sufficient education to watch a servant at work, and to help a +little when one is old enough? + +If the industries involved were properly divided, specialized, and +developed, much that is valuable might be gathered from their +observation, and from guarded experiment, by children who are old +enough. A child can receive valuable instruction in a woollen-mill or +a blacksmith shop, but it does not follow that these places are +suitable as nurseries. The lack of any true educational value in the +position is sufficiently shown by the ceaseless centuries of ignorance +in these very trades. All women, for all time, reared in this intimate +association with domestic service and domestic servants, have failed +to work out any better grade of performance than that which still +furnishes the staple of conversation among them. + +It is quite evident, from the results so painfully visible around us, +that the education of our children by house-servants developes neither +general intelligence nor special proficiency. The intellectual +progress of humanity has shown close connection with the extension of +industry in larger lines, with a growing specialisation, a wider +distribution, and, of course, with the beautiful growth in special +methods of education. But this kitchen education, though we have +enjoyed its advantages for so long, does not seem to show good +results. + +The educational value of the mother seems not to be in proportion to +her occupation as a house-servant, but the reverse. It would seem that +our children grow in intelligence and good behaviour rather in spite +of the domestic industries than because of them. Any mother who is +awake to the limitless possibilities of child-culture, and who begins +to work out some well-considered plan for its pursuance, knows the +ceaseless interruptions of her efforts, and the peremptory +monopolisation of her time, by the demands of household labour. So +far, with true womanly patience,--a patience which ceased to be a +virtue some years ago,--she has accepted the condition as inevitable, +and plodded on, consoling herself with a "day unto day" philosophy, +and with "doing the best she could"; and many moralists consoled her, +saying, "Blessed be drudgery!" Drudgery has a certain value, no doubt. +It developes certain characteristics; namely, those of a competent and +contented drudge. The question raised here is merely whether this kind +of work and the characteristics developed by it are suitable +educational associations for young children. + +What are the qualities developed by house-service? Let us suppose that +we are all, fathers as well as mothers, occupied solely in household +labour. The effect may be studied from one point of view in those +countries where there are more men-servants than with us, and where +the profession is sometimes followed for generations. The typical +character of a butler or footman, a parlour-maid, cook, or general +servant, may be traced through all personal variation. Given any sort +of person, and put him or her through a lifetime of domestic service, +and certain characteristics appear, modified to a large degree by +personality, but typical none the less. + +This palpable result of house-service is familiar to us all, and not +desired in ourselves or our children. Admitting all personal good +qualities in the individual servant, that in his bearing which +distinguishes it from the bearing we call "soldierly" or "gentlemanly" +or even "business-like" is the natural result of his form of +labour,--of personal domestic service. Where the purpose of action is +to serve one individual or a very few individuals,--and this not so +much in ministering to general needs as in catering to personal +tastes,--those who thus labour are checked in development by the +measure of the tastes they serve. That is the restrictive tendency, +resisted according to personal power and ability, but always producing +some result. A race of men who were one and all contented to be +butlers and footmen would not give as noble a fatherhood as the world +needs; and a race of women who are contented to be cooks and +housemaids do not give as noble a motherhood as the world needs. + +Sharp exception will, no doubt, be taken to the use of the word +"servant" to designate the nine out of ten women who "do their own +work." There is a difference, we freely admit. They do the same work +in the same way, but they have different motives. They do it from a +sense of duty, oft-times, instead of a desire for wages; for they get +no wages. They do it simply because they have to, sometimes, feeling +it to be merely a disagreeable necessity. They do it from a more +direct self-interest than the servant, as well as from a greater +self-sacrifice. Few, very few women love it, and continue to do it a +day beyond the time when their husbands can afford to hire another +woman. + +Whatever the "moral quality" of intention and the value of one's +"frame of mind," the reactive effect of one's daily labour is +inexorable. No matter how high and holy the purpose of the toiling +housewife, no matter whether she glories in her task or hates it, her +brain is daily modified by its kind of exercise as surely as her +fingers are greased by the dish-water, cracked by the soap-suds, and +calloused by the broom. The amount of labour and care required to run +a household comfortably is not small. It takes no mean intelligence to +administer a home. So does it require intelligence, labour, and care +to run a retail dry-goods shop or a railroad train. The point to study +is whether this particular species of labour and care is conducive to +the best child-culture. Can the average woman successfully manage the +mingled industries of her household and the education of her children? +It may be replied at once, with some triumph, "Yes, she does!" To +which we merely rejoin, "Does she?" We know that the household +industries are carried on in some fashion; and that children grow up +amid them (such of them as do not die), and are--when grown--the kind +of people we see about us. + +People did live and rear children in caves, in tents, in huts, in +feudal castles. It is a question not of the bare possibility of +maintaining the race, but of the relative advantages of methods of +culture. Our rate of infant mortality is shamefully large, and due +mainly to what physicians term "preventable diseases." It is quite +open to discussion whether those diseases are not often traceable to +the insanitary conditions of household labour, and their continued +prevalence to the limitations of the kitchen-bred intellects of +nine-tenths of our mothers. + +No human being, be she never so much a mother, can be in two places at +once or do full justice to several varied functions with one +distracted brain. That the mother comes so near it in many cases is a +splendid tribute to the power of love; that she fails in such degree +is no reproach to her, so long as she is unable to alter the +industrial conditions under which her motherhood is restricted. + +Now that economic progress makes it possible to introduce new and wide +improvements, the mother does become responsible, if she fails to see +and take advantage of the change. Our complex and ill-developed +household labours tend to produce certain special mental capacities in +those who perform them. The housewife must hold in mind the entire +contents of the home,--all its furnishing, decorations, utensils, and +supplies. She must keep a running account of stock, and make good the +incessant and irregular deficiencies of linen-closet, wardrobe, +cupboard, and pantry, as well as the wear and tear on the machinery +and furnishings. This developes one order of brain,--the +administrative. The house-servant must exhibit skill in several +distinct trades, and a swift facility for disconnecting the mind and +readjusting it as promptly. This developes another order of +brain,--the executive,--the development seriously hindered in special +perfection by the attendant facility for disconnection. Neither of +these mental powers is that of the educator, especially the educator +of babies. + +The capacity for subtle, long-continued, nicely balanced observation +in lines of psychic development; the ever-present, delicate sympathy +which knows the moment to suggest and the hour to refrain,--these +mental attributes belong neither to the administrative nor to the +executive ability. We find in the maternal dealings with children, +when conspicuously efficient, precisely what should be expected of +the expert manager and skilful servant. The children are well managed +and well served, but they are not well educated. + +When the mother--the housewife-mother, the servant-mother--begins to +look into educational processes, she is appalled. It is easy to show +her, if she has a clear and at all educated mind, what conditions +would be best for babies, what kind of observation and treatment; but +she knows full well that she cannot furnish these conditions. She has +neither place, time, strength, skill, nor training for this delicate +and careful method. Her work--her daily, hourly inexorable work--fills +the place, consumes the time, exhausts the strength, does not develope +the skill, and prevents the training of the educator. Many mothers do +not even recognise the possibility of better methods, and strenuously +resent the suggestion that they are not doing all that could be done. + +They resent even the kindergarten, many of them. The relatively slow +progress of the kindergarten method is as good a proof as could be +offered of the lack of educational perception among mothers. They are +willing to "serve" their children endlessly,--wait on them, wash, +sweep, and cook for them. They are willing to "manage" their children +carefully and conscientiously, and do not recognise the need of better +educational treatment for babies. This attitude is a perfectly natural +result of the reaction of the absorbing household industries on the +mind of the mother. Her interest is eager and alert in all that +concerns the material management of the family, from wall-paper and +carpets to some new variety of hose-supporter,--down to the least +detail of decoration on an embroidered muslin cap for the baby. + +In any matter of greater beauty or economy, or in some cases of +sanitary improvement, the housewife-mother's mind is open. In +indefatigable zeal in direct service--no task too difficult, too long, +too tedious--the servant-mother's hand is ever-ready. But the same +devoted, loving, conscientious mother will fail appallingly to keep in +touch with the mind-growth of the baby; will often neglect and even +seriously injure its development in what is, after all, the main +field of human life. The young human being needs far more than to be +fed and clothed and waited on, however lovingly; or even than to be +taught in schools in a few set lines of study. + +We have made splendid progress in external things, in material forms +and methods of production and distribution. We have travelled far and +deep in scientific study, climbed high in art, and grown through grand +religions. Our one great need--a need that grows daily greater in the +vivid light of these swift-moving years--is for a better kind of +people. The progress in human character does not keep pace with our +external improvement. We are not trained in the right management of +our own faculties; and come out of "the home" into "the world" well +fed enough, well dressed enough, but with such unkempt, unbuttoned, +dangling strings of neglected character as bespeaks the orphan soul. + +Ask any mother to describe her children's complexion, costume, and +tastes in eating. She will do it glibly, profusely, and with feeling. +Johnny would never touch meat till he was ten; Maud would eat nothing +else; Jessie could never bear potatoes. Maud was very near-sighted. +She had early taken her to an oculist. She would probably have to wear +glasses always. Jessie was so hard on shoes. She used two pairs to +Maud's one,--even worse than Johnny. Now ask her to describe the +distinctive mental characteristics of each, at what age they +developed, and what measures she has taken from year to year to check +Jessie's personal vanity, to increase Maud's courage, to develope +patience in Johnny. Ask her what she has tried for croup, and she will +discourse freely. Ask her what she has tried for the gradual reduction +of self-consciousness, and she looks puzzled. + +The human race is capable of beautiful development in character, as we +see in occasional instances. That such beautiful development is +largely assisted by right education, especially in the very first +years, is proven by a thousand experiments. That most of us grow up +without any intelligent psychic training, without wise attention and +skilful care in soul-growth, is but too evident. Better education for +the young of the human race, that education which the child never +knows of, but which surrounds him with helpful influences from his +first consciousness, is an imperative need. + +Some attempt at this work is made by all conscientious mothers, and +wonderful success is sometimes attained by a mother of special genius +for child-culture (and who, by the way, is seldom distinguished as a +housekeeper); but our general average in humaniculture is low. Nothing +in the range of human effort is more important than the right +education of children, which means the improvement of the race. The +first years are of special value, the first influences and +associations of pre-eminent importance. + +If the household industries are incompatible with the best +child-culture, they should be withdrawn from the household, +specialised and professionalised like all the other industries once +considered essentially domestic. When a broader intelligence is +brought to bear on our infancy, when we do not grow up under the +unavoidable assumption that the principal business of life is to "keep +house," there will be a better chance for the growth of those civic +virtues so pitifully lacking in us now. So many marks of progress in +these lines are now evident that any intelligent woman can see the way +open before her. The public laundry is sapping the foundations of our +domestic industry; the "Domestic Service Bureau" is beginning to +furnish skilled labour by the hour; the "Prepared Food Association" is +solving another problem. The way out of these household difficulties +is opening fast. It needs only a fuller recognition among women of the +value of this change to bring it in with greater rapidity and success. +For the sake of our children let us free the home from its archaic +industries. + + + + +XIV. + +MOTHERS, NATURAL AND UNNATURAL. + + +We use the word "natural" in many senses,--sometimes with warm +approval, as indicating that which is best; sometimes with +disapproval, as low and discreditable. + +"Natural affection" is one familiar phrase, and "unnatural monster" +another, which show a firm belief in the rightness of the working laws +of the universe. + +On the other hand, the whole story of human development lies in +changing those conditions and habits which were once natural to the +slow, laborious, hard-won advantages of civilisation. "The natural +man" or man "in a state of nature" is a remote ancestor; and we do not +allow unchecked freedom to animal passions and appetites among us on +the ground that they are "natural." + +It is natural to take revenge for injuries; it is natural to eat too +much; it is natural to be too careless in youth and too cautious in +old age. "Natural" means according to the laws of nature; and the laws +of nature have a wide and long range. + +In applying the word to any one creature, we have to limit it by time +and circumstance. It is natural for an absolutely wild creature, which +has never seen man, not to be afraid of him. It is natural for the +same creature, when hunted, to fear man, and shun him. If long tamed, +like the cat and dog, it is natural to come trustfully to the +well-known friend. + +Nature is essentially changeful. Its laws remain the same, but the +interaction of those laws produces ever-varying results. "The nature" +of any given creature varies with its circumstances,--give it +time,--as in the above case of the dog and cat; but the whole scale of +behaviour is "natural" in its place and time. "A state of nature" is +not a period with an exact date, nor any one grade of conduct. That +conduct which is most advantageous to a creature under given +circumstances is natural. The only conduct which is "unnatural" would +be that which was exhibited in contradiction to the laws of nature, if +such were possible. + +In this sense an ascetic life is unnatural, as meaning destruction to +the individual and race; but, in the sense that the ascetic fondly +believes he is acting for his ultimate benefit, his conduct is +"natural," after all. + +A wild rose is "natural," a garden rose or hot-house rose is +"cultivated," a velvet rose on a bonnet is "artificial." Yet it is as +natural for man to cultivate and imitate for his own good pleasure as +for a bee to store honey. When we were in what we usually call "a +state of nature," we did not keep clean, wear clothes, go to school or +to church. Yet cleanliness and clothing, education and religion, are +natural products of "human nature." + +When we apply the word to human conduct, we ought to be clear in our +own minds as to whether we mean "natural"--_i.e._, primitive, +uncivilised, savage--or natural,--suited to man's present character +and conditions. Primitive man did not send his children to school, but +we do not consider it unnatural that we do send ours. Primitive woman +carried her naked baby in her arms; modern woman pushes her +much-dressed infant in a perambulator. But there is nothing unnatural +in preferring the perambulator. It is natural to do what is easiest +for the mother and best for the baby; and our modern skill and +intelligence, our knowledge and experience, are as natural to us as +ignorance, superstition, and ferocity were to our primal ancestors. + +With this in mind, let us look at the use of the term "natural" as +applied to mothers. What sort of mother do we praise as natural, and +what sort do we blame as "unnatural"? Is our term used with reference +to a period of development, "natural" motherhood, meaning primitive, +savage motherhood? or is it used with reference to the exercise of +that intelligence, acquired knowledge and skill, and array of +conveniences, which are natural to civilised man to-day? I think it +will be found that in most cases we unconsciously use it in the first +sense, natural meaning merely primitive or even animal, and with but +too good reason, if we study the behaviour we are describing. + +Motherhood is pre-eminently a "natural" function in both senses. It might +almost be called _the_ natural function, as reproduction seems to be more +important in the evolution of species than even self-preservation. It +would seem as if the instinct of self-preservation were given merely to +keep the creatures alive for purposes of reproduction; for, when the two +forces come into conflict, the reproductive instinct is the stronger. + +The reproductive functions are performed by both male and female; but, +as species developes and more conscious effort is applied to the great +task, the female has the larger share. + +In furnishing nutrition to the young, order mammalia gives the entire +task to the mother; and their care, protection, and defence are mainly +hers. + +With the human species, in proportion to its development, the scales +have turned the other way. With us the father furnishes food, shelter, +and protection, save for the first period of suckling. In many cases +the mother fails even to provide this assuredly "natural" contribution +to the child's nourishment. This would be a good opportunity to call +her "unnatural"; but, if she is sufficiently assiduous with the bottle +or wet-nurse, we do not. Beyond that period the human mother merely +waits upon and watches her children in the shelter provided by the +father, and administers to them such food, clothing, and other +supplies as he furnishes. + +Her educational office, too, has largely passed from her, owing to the +encroachments of the school and kindergarten. She still moulds their +morals and manners as far as she is able, and has command of their +education during the earliest and most important years. + +Now is it "natural" for a mother to take no part in getting food for +children? If ever there was a natural function pertaining to +motherhood, that seems to be one. If we use the word in its primitive +sense, she certainly is "an unnatural mother" for relinquishing this +primal duty. But, if we use it in the other sense, she is quite +natural in accepting the conditions of civilised life as far as they +are advantageous to the child. Is it "natural" for a mother to submit +her children to the instruction of other extra-maternal persons? or to +call the doctor when they are sick, engage the dentist to fill their +teeth, and hire persons to help take care of them? These things are +not primitive surely, but neither are they "unnatural." The "nature" +of motherhood is to provide what is best for the child; and the +multiplied services and facilities of our socially developed lives are +as natural to us as our smooth white skins, once "naturally" brown and +shaggy. + +In all fair thinking, speaking, and writing, we should decide clearly +upon our meaning, and see that it would be very unnatural for modern +women to behave as was natural to primitive women. + +The main duty remains the same,--to benefit the child. Methods and +materials are open to choice and change. Motherhood is as open to +criticism as any other human labour or animal function. Free study, +honest criticism and suggestion, conscientious experiment in new +lines,--by these we make progress. Why not apply study, criticism, +suggestion, and experiment to motherhood, and make some progress +there? + +"Progress in motherhood" is a strange phrase to most of us. We would +as soon speak of progress in digestion. + +That shows how we persist in confounding the physical functions of +reproduction with the elaborate processes that follow; and yet we do +not apply our scornful term of "unnatural mother" to the weak, +unhealthy woman who cannot compete with a cow in this stage of +motherhood. We should think fairly one way or the other. Success in +the physical functions of maternity we shall do well to keep up to a +level with the performance of the "lower animals." The ensuing +processes are the ones open to progress. + +No bottle is as good as the breast. "You cannot improve on nature!" +But you can improve in methods of clothing, feeding in later years, +house and school building, teaching, and every other distinctly human +process. + +If the human mother does not compare favourably with other animals in +the physical processes of reproduction, she is therein "unnatural." If +she does not keep up with the opportunities of her race and time in +all the ensuing care of the child, she is therein unnatural. Such care +and culture as was natural to give a cave-baby would be unnatural +to-day. Is not the average mother of to-day too prone to content +herself with a very low-grade performance of a modern mother's +duties, on the plea that her methods are "natural,"--namely, +primitive? + +The grade of "care" given by the mother of to-day is too often exactly +that of the mother of many thousand years ago. We depend almost +altogether on what is known as "the maternal instinct," which is a +"natural instinct," to be sure, just as it is a natural instinct for +the male to fight. The right education of a child to-day requires more +than instinct to produce the best results. Because we have not used +the helpful influences of association, study, and experience in this +most important labour of life, we keep our progress as a living +species far below the level of our progress in material improvements. + +When anything is said of improving the human stock, we instantly think +of the methods of breeders of cattle, and are at once convinced of the +undesirability and impossibility of applying any such means to +humanity. + +But there remain open to us two immense avenues of improvement, both +free to mothers. One is the mother's modifying influence upon the +race through selection,--that duty of wise choice of a superior father +for her children, which is "natural" enough to the lower animals, but +which we agree to ignore in the bringing up of our young women. +Careful and conscientious training to this end would have a great +effect upon the race. + +This does not mean the self-conscious forcing of a young heart to +marry a "superior" man without the blessed leading of true love; but +such open knowledge of what constituted an inferior or positively +injurious man as would lower the likelihood of nice girls loving the +undesirables. + +The other and far more practical road of racial advance is in +improving the environment of our young children, both materially and +psychically, by the intelligent co-ordinate action of mothers. If we +improve the individual as far as possible, it is better not to meddle +too much with the subtle forces which lead to mating. These processes +are not cerebral, and ought not to be made self-conscious. But +educational processes are conscious, and should be studied. + +The "natural" mother gives no thought to her approaching duties during +youth. The animals do not, the savages do not, and our charming young +girls do not. Is it not time for us to show a generation of mothers +sufficiently "unnatural" to give honest thought and study to the great +duty which lies before them? Clear-headed, intelligent girls, as yet +unhampered by the blind brute instinct of maternal passion, might be +able to plan together for the good of the child, as they never would +be able to plan separately for the good of their own individual +children. + +A year or two of thorough study and practice in the arts and sciences +of child-culture would soon convince the girl as to whether she was +adapted to be an educator of little children or merely a mother. I say +"merely a mother" in this rather derogatory way, alluding to the +process of bearing young and perhaps suckling them. This is an +essential physical function, common to all the higher animals, and +usually fulfilled by them much better than by us. The continuous and +subtle processes of education which come after, and the wise care +required for the physical health and comfort of the child, do not +come "naturally" to every mother. It is here that the skill and +training are needed. Maternity is one thing, and education another. + +It cannot be too strongly reiterated that maternal love does not +necessarily include wisdom. It is "natural" for every mother to love +her children, but it does not follow that she knows what is best for +them. The animal mother does know by instinct; and we, content to take +our pattern of motherhood from the beasts, have imagined that we +needed nothing more. + +The individual animal has the necessary knowledge of its kind lodged +in each specimen. One bear, lion, or sheep, can teach its young all +that any of them know, and care for them one as well as another. + +There is an immense difference between this "natural" condition and +ours, where individuals differ so widely in wisdom, and where the +material conditions essential to the good of the child are not open to +every mother to select from as instinct dictates and procure according +to her individual skill, but are produced by us collectively, and only +to be secured by combined intelligence. For our mothers to insure +good conditions for their children requires more than maternal +instinct. + +The "natural" mother of to-day is reared without an inkling of what +lies before her; and no preacting instinct warns her of the effect of +her girlhood's wasted opportunities. She marries still by "instinct," +which often leads her astray; or, when she uses her conscious reason, +it is generally in lines of financial advantage, irrespective of the +to-be-father's health or character. She fulfils the physical functions +of maternity rather reluctantly and with poor success, being +frequently much the worse for the performance, and then rather +boasting of her enfeebled condition, as if it was in some mysterious +way a credit to her. + +Then she brings to the care and education of her children merely her +rudiments of maternal instinct,--an instinct so far painfully lacking +in wise prevision of the event and preparation for it. + +Where failing health or "social duties" or any other causes prevent +her constant attendance on the child, the rich mother hires a +low-class woman to take care of him; and, if the poor woman has too +much work to be able to constantly attend upon the child, she gets +along as she individually can without taking much care of him. Or, if +she is of that small class who do really "take care of" their children +personally, the care she gives is the mere chance outcome of her +personal character and conditions, and may or may not be beneficial. + +All this conduct we call "natural," and see no blame in it. We assume +that every mother knows how to care for her children; and, if we only +see her keeping at it incessantly, we never criticise the methods or +results. That is not, in general, a charge against motherhood. We do +criticise individual cases very freely, yet make no deduction from our +own wide observations. + +Now let us picture an "unnatural" mother. As a young girl, she +thoughtfully considers her approaching duties. She says to herself: "I +am to be a mother; to contribute my personal share to the improvement +of humanity by bringing into the world some one better than I am. I +must do all I can to be better personally, in character and physique, +for the child's sake. Whatever I may be able to do for it afterward, I +will give it good endowment at birth." And then this unnatural young +girl proceeds to train herself in all right living, avoiding anything +in dress or food or late hours that might injure her health, because +she hopes to be a mother some day. She studies child-culture eagerly, +hoping that she may be fit for the splendid work, but is disappointed +here perhaps, having a strong musical temperament, or a good head for +business, or capacity for prompt and skilful manual labour, but not +the faculties that go to make the good educator. + +This is a blow, for she considers the training of little children as +the highest work on earth, but she recognises that only about one in +twenty has the requisite capacity; and the knowledge gained in her +careful study in these lines shows her the importance of giving +children the _best_ conditions, which involves association with those +specially endowed with the teacher's power. So she studies her own +profession cheerfully, resolved to make good progress there, to be a +mother her children can be proud of, and to be able to guarantee them +all they need. She loves and marries, led by the deepest force in +organic life, but governed by a clear and conscious wisdom even here. +If she has the misfortune to be attracted to a man diseased or immoral +or defective, she will not accept him, for the sake of her children. +But marry she will, for this is the law of life; and the exceptions go +to extinction. This fair woman, vigorous and beautiful, with her +well-trained body, clear mind, and tender spirit of mother-love +waiting within her, would not go unloved. She marries. She bears +healthy, beautiful children, and nourishes them at her proud and +loving breast. She has provided beforehand for their care and +training, knowing from the study and experience she has given the +subject, and the reading she has kept up, what are now the best +obtainable conditions. Her home has been chosen with a view to its +proximity to the best baby-garden and child-home she knew, where some +of the teachers were old friends of hers, and all were known by +reputation. + +Having chosen a profession with a view to the physical limitations of +motherhood, and prepared during her plentiful time of waiting such +arrangement of hours and substitutes as shall enable her to meet the +mother's duties properly, she takes a complete vacation for the months +that need it; and then gradually resumes her work for part of the day, +as her hours between nursing the child lengthen. She goes gladly to +her work because she loves it, is well trained for it, and by doing it +she serves her child. She comes more gladly to the child, the deep +primal instinct coming out strongly; and at night the healthy little +one sleeps near her in the quiet home. + +Between the hours of nursing, the baby sleeps peacefully or wakes +happily, in the beautiful home that his mother--working with the other +mothers--have made for their children; and is watched and cared for by +the wise and tender women who have proved their fitness for this +precious work. + +His mother is not worried about him. She knows that in that home there +is no possible danger, in that trained care no least neglect; and +that, if any sudden illness smote him, the visiting physician is there +daily, and others in instant call. This place was made for babies, and +is not in charge of servants. She is at ease about the child. Eagerly +she goes to him when work is done. No weariness, no anxious +uncertainty, only the glad triumphant mother-love which is content in +knowing that the best possible conditions are secured to the child, +and a constantly renewed delight in its health and beauty and good +progress. Owing to her previous study, she knows enough not to undo +the good effects by foolishness at home. She is in daily communication +with the teachers,--and nurses and doctors, if necessary. She does not +lose touch with the little life. Her untired affection surrounds him +always, and to the child she is probably the most agreeable of the +several agreeable persons in whose society he finds himself. Unless +she falls terribly below the common standard, he will love her the +best; for the beautiful background of nursing won and held his dawning +affection, and the sweet home-coming every night is a constantly +strengthening tie. Any clean, comfortable, human home should be +suitable for a healthy child to sleep in; but it is in his +impressionable day-time hours that he needs more appropriate +surroundings. + +It will be seen that this unnatural mother has her child in her own +care for sixteen hours out of the twenty-four, and during the eight +hours of a working day she herself places him in what she knows to be +better conditions than her own home could offer. If she does chance to +possess that degree of educational genius essential to the best care +of young children, her eight hours of work will be spent in taking +care of them, and the remaining sixteen in still taking care of her +own. Thus the exceptional mother, who is also an educator, will have +her own all the time; and her unusual ability will benefit many other +little ones for part of the time. + +The "natural" mother, of course, believes that her own care of her own +child is better than any one's else. She can give no proof of this, +and would be very unwilling to submit to any examination or +competition. She simply thinks she is the best educator because she +is a "mother." The sickness and death of her children, or the +accidents which happen to them, or their inferior development and +disagreeable behaviour, she never takes as proof of her incompetence. +Where an experienced teacher could remove half a dozen bad habits in +as many months without the child's knowing it, the mother scolds and +spanks along the years, or resignedly lets the small people trample +upon the rights of their elders, in serene conviction that her methods +must be right; for is she not their mother? + +The unnatural mother, who is possessed of enough intelligence and +knowledge to recognise her own deficiencies, gladly intrusts her +children to superior care for part of the time, and constantly learns +by it herself. + +The mother-love, which is so far strained by the difficulties of +rearing children in the home as to frequently give way to +irritability, weariness, and even bad temper, would be kept fresh and +unworn by the eight-hour rest; and the child would never learn to +despise his mother's irascibility and lack of self-control, as, +unfortunately, so many children do. To the child, happy and busy in +his day hours of education, the home-coming would be an ever new +delight, and the home--"papa and mamma's house"--a lovely place to +respect and enjoy. + +Many will wonder why the mother is described as "working" during eight +hours. The able-bodied and able-minded human being who does not work +is a contemptible object. To take from the labour of others so large a +share of human products as is necessary to our comfort to-day, and +contribute nothing in return, is the position of a devouring parasite. + +Most women do work, hard and long, at house-service. The "natural" +mother is content to mingle her "sacred duties" of child-care with the +miscellaneous duties of a house-servant; but the "unnatural mother," +for the sake of her children, refuses to be the kitchen-maid, +parlour-maid, and chamber-maid of the world any longer. She recognises +that her real duties are too important to be hindered in their +performance any longer by these primitive inconveniences; and, with +combined intelligence, she and the others arrange their households on +a basis of organised professional service, with skilled labour by the +hour, and so each has time to perform some professional service +herself, and pay well for the better performance of the "domestic" +tasks. + +This subject is treated in a special volume on "Women and Economics," +but here it is sufficient to present the position of the mother, the +"unnatural" mother, who would refuse to maintain any longer our +grossly defective system of household service (either by herself or by +a hired woman), on the ground that it was not conducive to the best +development of her children. + +To those who for any reason prefer, or are compelled by circumstances, +to pursue the profession of private house-servant, it will, however, +be of inestimable advantage to have their children taken out of the +dirt and danger, and placed in proper conditions, while the mother +follows her profession at home. The natural mother cares only for her +own children. She loves and labours without knowledge, and what +experience she gains by practising on her own children is buried with +her. The unnatural mother cares for Children,--all of them,--and knows +that she can best serve her own by lifting the standard of +child-culture for all. + +We have urgent need of the unnatural mother,--the mother who has added +a trained intellect to a warm heart; and, when we have enough of them, +the rarest sound on earth will be that now so pitifully common,--the +crying of a little child. + + + + +XV. + +SOCIAL PARENTAGE. + + +The mother does her duty by her children as best she can. The father +does his duty by his children. But we do not do our duty by our +children. The relation of the State to the child is little thought of, +much less understood. We have discussed it only as an alternative to +the parental relation, involving the removal of the child from the +home and family, and the substitution of civic for domestic care. Such +a proposal naturally excites the hot opposition of parental love and +instinct, and cannot stand. It has been tried more or less thoroughly, +as in Sparta, but does not appeal to the human heart or head, and is +not in the least what is here under discussion. The true relation of +the State to the child includes the parental relation, and in no way +controverts the love and instinct of those invaluable public +functionaries. + +It is not necessary, or in any way desirable, for the State to remove +the child from the parent. Parents are evolved for the purpose of +rearing children, and possess highly specialised and urgent impulses +in that direction,--far too useful forces to be ignored. + +But the civilised human parent lives as part of an elaborate +society,--a State; and, as a member of the State, he holds a new +relation to his child--she holds a new relation to her child: +they--and they are the State--hold a new relation to their children. +This is what we so generally ignore. + +The individual parents do their individual duty fairly well; but the +collective parents, who constitute society, fail shamefully in their +collective duties. What is a society? It is an organisation of human +beings, alive, complex, exquisitely developed in co-ordinate +inter-service. What is it for? It is for development, growth, +progress, like any other living thing. How does a society improve? By +combinations of individuals evolving social processes which react +favourably upon the individual constituents, and develope in them +better social faculties. For instance, early combinations of +individuals evolve low forms of legal protection for the citizens of +the early State. Under those protective enactments, citizens grow up +in comparative peace, and become capable of enacting further and +superior laws. + +In recent and particular instance, our American forefathers +established a system of public education under which many citizens +were developed to a degree of intelligence sufficient to see the need +and the means of extending and improving that education. Education is +a social process, impossible--in any human degree--among detached +individuals. + +The education of children is a distinctly social process. Much of it +may be carried on by the parents, but it is for social improvement and +as a member of society that they do this. Here is where our parents, +who constitute society, fail to see the nature and extent of their +work. They have an exaggerated idea of "parental responsibility" to +the child, and no idea at all of social responsibility to the child. +That social development which has enlarged the mind and soul of the +beast-savage to our present capacity for love and service we still +imagine to be purely parental, and endeavour to concentrate it all on +our own children, failing utterly in our duty to each other's +children. + +No such gross error can work good results. This disproportionate +concentration of feeling on the individual child, and neglect of the +child in general, produces a world full of people with a congested +family life, full of morbid sensitiveness and potential difficulty and +suffering, and a weak, anæmic social life, full of mutual neglect and +dereliction of duty. + +The well-known illustration of education can be used again still +farther to show this. Suppose a small community, wherein the parents +are all very anxious for the education of their own children and +profoundly indifferent to the education of anybody's else children. +Suppose these parents all labour religiously to buy books, pictures, +statues, music, and to have the best of tutors for their own children. + +It can be seen without much mathematical effort how inferior would be +the supplies purchasable by the individual parent's funds compared to +those purchasable by their collective funds. Separately, they could +not compass a good teacher to each family, nor good pictures, nor +many books and instruments, nor any statuary and music to speak of. +Collectively and for less money, they could have all these things in +far higher degree of excellence. + +It is social parentage, such as we have, which gives us the school as +we have it. It is the weakness and irresponsibility of our social +parentage which leaves the school as it is, and fails to push on to +something far fuller and better. What thought, what care, what +service, does the average mother give to other people's children? +None. She does not imagine it to be her duty. She imagines that her +duty lies only toward her own children, and that it is no faintest +fault of hers if other children suffer. If she sees little ones +visibly neglected and injured, she merely blames their individual +parents, and gives no further thought to the matter. + +Now, once for all, what is the advantage of living in a society +instead of living alone? It is that we do not have to spend all our +time and strength in very imperfectly taking care of ourselves, as the +separate individual would be obliged to do, but are more and more +perfectly taken care of by one another. We all share in the advantages +of living together,--the protection not only of numbers, but of our +specialised defenders, civil and military; the vast accumulations of +knowledge and skill acquired by many and transmitted to all; the +increasing measure of mutual love, in which we thrive and grow. The +more perfectly a society can distribute these advantages to all its +citizens, the more swiftly and healthfully does it advance and +improve. + +Public peace and safety, public justice, public education, the public +hall, the public road, the public library and gallery and museum and +bath,--these are what react so favourably upon the individual, and +make better homes and citizens. The father is, to some extent, awake +to the duties of social parentage; the mother, hardly at all. The +difference is this: the father serves his children by means of serving +other people; the mother serves her children personally, with her own +hands. Suppose a number of families (we cannot call it a community, +because it would not be one), wherein the fathers endeavoured to +serve their children personally with their own hands only, each man +building, weaving, farming, fishing, blacksmithing, making dishes and +tools and instruments, and trying in all ways to meet the family needs +_himself_ personally. + +It will readily be seen how little the families of these men would +have. The time, strength, and skill of one man do not go far, if he +tries to do all things himself. Why do women imagine that their time, +strength, and skill severally will serve better than in combination? +Why are they content to give their children only what they can do +themselves alone, thus depriving them of the rich possibilities of +civilised motherhood, combined, collective, mutually helpful? + +The term "city fathers," and its painful lack of companionship in city +mothers, shows the wide gulf between the development of social +parentage in men and women. The accidents to little children from +electric and cable cars are pitifully numerous. What mother has taken +any steps to prevent these accidents? Individually, each tries to +protect her own, as does the animal or savage. Collectively, they do +nothing; yet it is the lack of this collective motherhood which makes +our cities so unsafe for children. The idea that, if each takes care +of her own, all will be cared for, is as false for women as it is for +men. If each man took care of his own, and not of the others, we +should have no soldiers, no policemen, no government, no society, only +that social chaos called anarchy. + +Social health and progress demand collective action, the largest +mutuality, the care and service of _all_, which is the only guarantee +of safety and prosperity to each. Our fatherhood is to a considerable +degree socialised. Our motherhood is flatly anarchistic, refusing all +co-ordination. + +An earnest--hotly earnest--woman once disputed this suggestion of +mutual service in motherhood, thus: "When I make the bed for my child, +I put some of my _personality_ between the sheets. My child sleeps +better if I make his bed for him." I gazed at her calmly. + +"Does your child walk better if you make his shoes for him?" I asked. + +It is a pretty sentiment that the mother's love in some mysterious +way makes all she does for the child superior to what another could +do. But apply the test of fact. Can she, with all her love, make as +good a shoe as the shoemaker? as good a hair-brush, tooth-brush, +tumbler, teacup, pie-plate, spoon, fork, or knife, as the professional +manufacturers of these things? Does mother-love teach her to be a good +barber? Can she cut her darling's hair so as to make him happy? Can +she make a good chair or table or book or window? How silly it is to +imagine that this "personality" inserted between the sheets makes the +bed more conducive to healthy sleep than any other clean, well-aired, +well-made bed! + +Let the mother put the child to bed by all means, if she wishes. In +the last sweet words and the good-night kiss is truly the place for +personality. That is a mother's place, and not a tradesman's. But +there is no more need for maternal personality between the sheets of a +bed than between the leaves of a book or the bricks of a wall. + +In our narrow-mindedness we have assumed that to care for any other +children would mean to neglect our own. As if the human heart, the +mother-heart, could love but one or six, and not more! As a matter of +fact, we neglect our own by not caring for others. That is, we fail to +take those general measures for the protection and development of all +children which would so greatly benefit our particular children. Only +to-day, at last, we see in some few advanced communities the mothers' +club and congress, the women's civic associations, and other forms of +union for the improvement of social conditions, all helping to enlarge +the application of mother-love, and set that great force free to bring +on the better day for children. These clubs and societies are jeered +at by the majority of mothers, who proudly say that they are too busy +taking care of their children to go to a mothers' congress and learn +how. + +Imagine, again, a majority of men, each saying he was too busy +teaching his children to go to a school meeting and plan for the +education of them all! It is not a shifting of duty that is +required,--to cease to take care of one's own in order to take care of +others instead. So ingrained are our primitive habits, so unable are +we to conceive of anything but the one-woman method, that our only +idea of change is a simple exchange of responsibility. It is not +exchanging that is needed, but an enlarging, an embracing of the less +in the greater. + +The mothers of the world are responsible for the children of the +world; the mothers of a nation, for the children of a nation; the +mothers of a city, for the children of a city. We may ignore and deny +this claim; but it is there none the less, and, because we do not do +our duty as social parents, a corrupt society injures our children +continually. The diseases of other children infect ours. What have the +mothers ever done to prevent these diseases? They nurse their own sick +little ones religiously, and bury them with tears; but what do they do +before or after to learn the cause and prevention of these "family +afflictions," to spread their information, and enforce measures to put +a stop to them? The bad habits of other children affect ours,--their +ignorance, their ill manners, their sins. Our children suffer +individually from bad social conditions, but cannot be saved +individually. + +When the Philadelphia water supply is so foul as to poison young and +old, mothers are responsible for not doing their share to make the +city water fit for their families to drink. It is not a private filter +on a private faucet that will do it, but public purity in the public +works. + +In Boston in 1899 the Society of Collegiate Alumnæ exposed a +disgracefully insanitary condition in the public schools,--undisturbed +filth in cellar and vault, unwashed floors, a slovenly neglect of the +commonest sanitary decency worthy of an Oriental slum. Any mother in +Boston would have been filled with shame to have such an exposure of +her own private housekeeping. There is room for shame at this exposure +of their public housekeeping, school-house-keeping, city-keeping. + +Like an ostrich with his head in the sand, the mother shuts herself up +in the home and imagines that she is safe and hidden, acting as if +"the home" was isolated in space. That the home is not isolated we are +made painfully conscious through its material connections,--gas-pipes, +water-pipes, sewer-pipes, and electric wires,--all serving us well or +ill according to their general management. Milk, food, clothing, and +all supplies brought in bring health or disease according to their +general management. The mere physical comfort of the home needs +collective action, to say nothing of the psychic connection in which +we all live, and where none is safe and clean till all are safe and +clean. + +How far does the duty of the State extend, and how much should be left +to individual responsibility? This is the working point to which this +discussion tends. A more serious sociological question could hardly be +propounded. + +Seeing that progress is the law of nature, that the human race is +under pressure of every force--conscious and unconscious--to go on, to +improve, to grow better, and that we, as social beings, move forward +through social improvement, the main weight of care seems to rest on +society rather than the individual. It is astonishing to see how far +this has gone already. Whereas once the beast father and mother were +the only ones to protect or serve the young, now society does far +more for the child than the parents. The father does more than the +mother, and that by means of his social relation. He provides for his +child by being a carpenter, lawyer, mason, or other social +functionary. In this social relation he is able to provide for it the +comfort and safety of a modern society. Out of that relation he would +be able to provide for it only with his bare hands alone, and less +competent than the hardy savage. + +We need not be alarmed at some new overtures on the part of society, +if we but look at what society is doing now. That we do not think of +this is due to our tradition that we "take care of ourselves." We do +not. No civilised man "takes care of himself." We take care of each +other. But, granting this to some degree, we have heretofore supposed +that the benefits of civilisation belonged only to adults,--for that +matter only to adult males!--and were to be distributed to children +through the individual parent. Thus, if the parent was inferior, the +child was expected not only to inherit his inferiority, but to suffer +from it always through inferior maintenance, breeding, and education. + +The gradual reaching out of society to protect and care for the child +is one of the most interesting lines of historic development. The +parent had power to kill a child. The State denied the right, and +protected the child against the parent. The parent had power to sell +the child. The State denied that. The parent might cast off and +neglect the child. The State compels him to maintain it, if he can; +and, if not, the State supports the child. The parent might teach the +child, have it taught, or leave it untaught. Now the State orders that +the child must be taught, either at home or at school, and furnishes +the school free. So far the line of advance has been from absolute +parental control to a steadily enlarging State control, from absolute +parental support to more and more of State support. The question of +more or less in present details may be debated indefinitely to no +conclusion. The principle is what we should study. + +The condition of childhood in our human sense, the long period of +immaturity, is a social condition. As we advance in social relation, +becoming more and more highly specialised, the gulf between infancy +and maturity increases. The young animal and the adult animal are far +more alike than a Gladstone and his baby. + +It does not take very long to mature the group of faculties required +for maintaining individual life. It does take long to mature the group +of faculties required to maintain social life. To rear a man--_i.e._, +an adult male of _genus homo_--is no very difficult task. It is +accomplished by Bushmen, Hottentots, Eskimo, every living kind of +human creature. To rear a physician, an engineer, a chemist,--this +takes longer. Incidentally, this is one reason why a girl's "majority" +is placed at eighteen, a boy's at twenty-one. She is supposed to need +only individual maturity,--physical maturity. He is supposed to take +more time to become a man because he is a member of society, and so +has to learn more things. It is not a question of adolescence, of +physiological change. The boy of eighteen could be a father as well as +the girl a mother; but he is not as well able to take his social +position, to serve mankind in his craft, art, trade, or profession. +Note here the early maturity and marriage of the less developed +grades of society, filling those simpler social functions which +require less specialisation, and the proportionate postponement of +this period in the more highly specialised. Our long period of +immaturity is a social condition, and not an individual one. That we +may reach the full growth needed in the advanced member of society, we +must be minors longer than would be necessary if we were not members +of society. The exceeding childishness of the civilised child is also +a social condition. + +The nearer we are to the animals, the more capable and bright the very +little ones. In the South it was common to set a little black child to +take care of an older white one: the pickaninny matures much more +rapidly. So, again, in our own lower social grades the little children +of the poor are sharper, better able to care for themselves, than +children of the same age in more developed classes. It is no proof of +greater intelligence in the adult. It is retrogression,--a mark of bad +social conditions. + +Civilised society is responsible for civilised childhood, and should +meet its responsibilities. The sweet confidence of a modern child, as +compared to the alert suspicion of a baby savage, shows what ages of +social safe-guarding have done. In the beautiful union of our +civilised growth, even so far, we have made possible the Child; and it +is for us still further to protect and develope this most exquisite +social product,--this greatest social hope and power. Society's +relation to the child is impersonal. It is not limited by parenthood. +The parental relation is lower, more limited. Parentally, we care only +for our own: socially, we care for all. Parentally, we are animals: +socially, we learn to love one another. We become, approximately, +Christians. + +Christianity is a social condition. In our present degree of social +progress, we produce by our specialised co-ordinate activities that +safe and comfortable material environment, those comparatively +developed virtues which we call "civilisation." But, in applying this +common product to the advancement of the child,--which is our best and +quickest way to incorporate progress in the race itself,--we allow +the incapacity of the individual parent to limit the child's +advantages. We deny to the child the conditions necessary to his best +development, unless his particular father is able to provide them. Our +theory here is that the father would not work so hard if the State +provided for his child; some thinkers combating even the public school +and public library on this ground. This is an outworn economic +fallacy. The inferior father cannot work beyond a certain grade +because he has not the capacity; and, if the child has only the +advantages the inferior father can provide for him, he grows up to be +another inferior father and low-grade worker. The most deadly result +of this foolish neglect of the young citizen is seen in the ensuing +action of the biological law, "Reproduction is in inverse proportion +to specialisation." Because we leave the child to grow up +unspecialised, untrained, save for the puny efforts of his single +low-grade parent, therefore he, in turn, helps fill the world with +very numerous and very inferior progeny. + +We are hampered by the rapid reproduction of the very lowest classes +of society, weighted down by their defects and limitations, forced to +wait--the most advanced of us--for the great rear-guard of the +population. We must wait because a society is alive, and includes all +its members. It cannot outstrip its own inferior parts, however +neglected and behindhand they may be. And their numbers--_numbers +resultant from their low condition_--complicate the problem +hopelessly. That is, hopelessly on this old fallacious notion that the +child can have no help from all the strong, rich world, save what his +father and mother can filter through their personal limitations. We +are beginning to change this by our efforts at free public education. +We shall change it more and more as we grow consciously awake to our +true social responsibility to the child. + +We cannot afford to have one citizen grow up below the standards of +common comfort, health, and general education. To the scared cry, +"But, if you take the responsibility off these people, they will +simply flood the world with wretched babies!" comes the answer of +natural law, "Improve the individual, and you check this crude +fecundity." It is because they are neglected and inferior that they +have so many children. Make higher-class people of the children, and +you check this constant influx of low-grade life, and gradually +introduce a better-born population. + +When the wise, beneficent parental love of Human Society for its young +really does its duty, tenderly removing obstructions from the path of +all our little ones, we shall give to them those common human +advantages without which they cannot grow to the happiness which is +their right, the usefulness which is their duty. All parents who are +able to do more for their children would be free to do so, as those +who can afford private schools, or educate their little ones at home, +are not compelled to send them to the public schools. + +As now society provides the school for the young citizen, on the +ground of public advantage, without regard to the inability of the +parent, so we must learn to provide a far richer and more complete +education, and all else that the parent falls short in, because it is +necessary for the good of society, and because we love our children. + + + + +Index. + + + Absence of mind, 54. + + "Acquired traits not transmissible," 9. + experiments with guinea-pigs, 11. + + Action, bodily, directed by mental processes, 57. + + Adult, our houses built only for the, 121. + + Age, the presumption of, 156. + not necessarily superiority, 159. + + Aged persons, cause of the respect and care for, 160. + + Ambition of youth a force to lift mankind, the, 23. + + American Revolution, the, mentioned, 35. + + Animal mother, the authority of the, 42. + + Animals, obedience in, 29. + + Arbitrary punishment, effect on the moral sense of, 84. + + Authority of the animal mother, the, 42. + effect of, coming between the mind and action of the child, 60. + + + Babies confided to the care of lower races, 134. + + Baby, impressions of a, 49. + considered as a plaything, 175. + our disrespectful treatment of the, 171. + often neglected mind-growth of the, 250. + + Baby-garden, a public, 124. + example of the advantages of a, 139. + a private, 125. + + Babyhood, education not thought of in connection with, 135. + + Bible, the, 114. + + Biological advantage of a longer period of immaturity, the, 18. + law of reproduction, 296. + + Bodily action directed by mental processes, 57. + + Boston, 289. + + Brain, effect of obedience on the, 41. + training of children, the, 46. + the office of the, 47. + in early forms of life, 48. + function of the child, 49. + improvement, progress of humanity made through, 149. + + Breakfast, unpunctuality at, 149. + + Bushmen, the, 293. + + + Callous child, treatment of the, 92. + + Casabianca, 30. + + Census Report, United States, 233. + + Character, comparatively small progress in the human, 251. + development of, assisted by right education, 252. + + Chastity, the virtue of, 26. + + Child, importance of the first fifteen years of the life of the, 21. + exercise of the will of the, in games, 22. + trained to obey, 31. + reasons why obedience is demanded from the, 37. + brain function of the, 49. + the, should be trained to presence of mind, 55. + advantage taken of the credulity of the, 56. + what the, feels and thinks ignored, 57. + the mind of the, 57. + effect of authority coming between the mind and action of the, 60. + culture of the, 63. + table manners, teaching the, 63. + early impressions of a, 77. + result of the deed of a, dependent upon parental knowledge, 82. + the naughty, 90. + a group of growing faculties, 90. + treatment of the callous, 92. + games, the daily lessons of the, 108. + teaching generosity to the, 109. + delicacy of perception of the, weakened by false impressions, 111. + perception in the place of the State of the, 119. + mother and, no separation of, 125. + treatment of the, at home, 170. + attitude of the family towards the, 171. + personal rights of the, 174. + no excuse for contemptuous treatment of the, 177. + necessity for recognising the citizenship of the, 182. + treatment at table of the, 183. + teaching a, consideration, 187. + the need for consideration between mother and, 187. + tendency to repetition of a, 191. + excessive sacrifice of the mother injurious to the, 193. + harmful effect of the mother's sacrificial devotion to the, 197. + effect of association with domestic servants on the, 235. + influence of surroundings on the, 237. + physical conditions of the household a danger to the, 238. + duty of the mother to benefit the, 261. + relation of the State to the, 278. + social responsibility of parents to the, 280. + gradual protection by society of the, 292. + + Child-culture and house service, the relation between, 233. + the study of, 265. + + Child-training, obedience in, 36. + honesty lacking in, 109. + + Childhood, the condition of the brain in, 49. + naturally inconsiderate, 91. + careless, 93. + clumsy, 93. + permanence of, as a human status, 119. + the status of, 180. + + Childish faith, an expression of, 56. + + Children, importance of the work of rearing, 37. + the most submissive, not the best men, 43. + trained to act without understanding, 51. + present brain-training of, discouraging to racial advancement, 62. + should be practised in reasoning, 68. + the punishment of, 74. + parents and the punishment of, 75. + over-indulgence of, 75. + learn before school-age, what, 77. + code of ethics among, 87. + the injured clothing of, 94. + lying to, 102. + ethics of, formed from the treatment they receive, 102. + open to instruction in ethics, 104. + sense of justice in, 105. + instruction of, in ethics, 106. + the teaching of ethics to, 115. + a permanent class, 118. + houses not built for, 120. + playgrounds for, beginning to appear, 120. + in institutions, 124. + mortality of, in institutions, 126. + expert care for, 127. + the care of, not servant's work, 127. + trained care for defective, 128. + a place for, to play in, 129. + a special house for little, 129. + the home as a place for, 180. + the private nurse not the proper person to have the care of, 132. + the mischievousness of, 137. + orderly development of the faculties of, 146. + travelling parties of, 150. + the demands of parents on their, 162. + errors of little, not grounds for humour, 172. + "impertinence" of, 175. + mother's lack of respect for her, 178. + the confidence of, not regarded, 179. + behaviour of women to, 179. + grown people and, 179. + discourtesy to, 181. + the balance of human rights should be understood by, 188. + the questions of, 191. + our love for our, 192. + benefit of mothers observing other peoples', 204. + method of observation of, 206. + the effect of the education of, by house-servants, 240. + improved environment of, a road to racial improvement, 264. + maternal instinct not sufficient to ensure good conditions for, + 267. + the duty of the State to, 290. + + Chinese, the, 12. + + Christianity a social condition, 295. + + Citizenship of the child, necessity for recognising the, 182. + + Civic duties, ignoring of, by women, 154. + + Class, children a permanent, 118. + + Clothing, children's injured, 94. + + Collegiate Alumnæ, the Society of, 289. + + Combined motherhood, the possibilities of, 284. + + Conduct, all, right or wrong, 107. + + Confidence of children not regarded, the, 179. + + Conservatism, feminine, 169. + + Consideration between mother and child, the need for, 187. + + Consideration of others not identical with obedience, 40. + teaching a child, 187. + + Consistency, the desire for, 58. + + Constitution, our inheritance of, 15. + + Courage, the virtue of, 27. + + Credulity of the child taken advantage of, 56. + + Crime, retributive punishment of, 73. + + Cruelty to Children, Society for the Prevention of, 75. + + + Defective children, trained care for, 128. + + Development, arrested social, 5. + race, and environment, 7. + of character assisted by right education, 252. + + Discipline, the question of, 70. + domestic, 77. + + Discourtesy to children, 181. + + Discussion between mothers, benefits of, 207. + + Doctrine of sacrifice, the, 194. + + Domestic discipline, 77. + relation, the small change in, 100. + Service Bureau, 254. + + "Don't Mary," 59. + + + Education, obedience in human, 29. + not thought of in connection with babyhood, 135. + advantages of unconscious, 144. + nothing too expensive that improves, 150. + of children by house-servants, the, 240. + development of character assisted by right, 252. + better, for the young an imperative need, 253. + a social process, 280. + + Educational perception, lack of, among mothers, 249. + + Emulation, the love of, 23. + + Endurance, the virtue of, 26. + + Environment and race development, 7. + + Eskimo, the, 293. + + Ethics, code of, among children, 87. + our knowledge of, 97. + the cause of our small growth in, 97. + and social evolution, 99. + influence of religious custom on, 100. + children cannot learn, from the treatment they receive, 102. + a child open to instruction in, 104. + the science of social relation, 105. + the instruction of children in, 106. + sense of, shown in games, the, 108. + self-control one of the first essentials in the practice of, 107. + values, long association of, with religious text-books, 114. + the teaching of, to children, 115. + necessity for the study of practical, 114. + necessity for mothers to be grounded in, 116. + + Example better than precept, 51. + + Experience, 167. + + + Faith, a childish expression of, 56. + + Father, the, awake to the duties of social parentage, 283. + the choice of a, 264. + + Family, attitude towards the little child of the, 171. + -life, primitive mental habits fostered in, 169. + + Feminine conservatism, 169. + + Foolishness of youth due to our training, 21. + + French Revolution, the, 53. + + + Games, the child's daily lessons, 108. + ethical sense shown in, 108. + + Generosity, teaching the child, 109. + + Girl, reason for the majority of a, at eighteen, 293. + + God, Hebrew traditions of, 34. + + Goths, the, 61. + + Grown people and children, 179. + + + Habit and tradition, the home the stronghold of, 35. + + Hebrew traditions of God, 34. + + Home, the, the stronghold of habit and tradition, 35. + as a place for children, 130. + + Homes, the mother the domestic servant in the majority of, 233. + + Honesty lacking in child-training, 110. + + Horse-training, 71. + + Hottentots, the, 293. + + Household, physical conditions of the, a danger to the child, 238. + labour, mental capacities developed by, 247. + employment of skilled labour for, 276. + + Houses not built for children, 120. + built for the adult only, 121. + + House-service and child-culture, the relation between, 233. + qualities developed by, 243. + + Housework, few women like, 245. + + Human behaviour, the whole scale of, is natural, 256. + character, comparatively small progress in the, 251. + conduct, the word natural applied to, 257. + creature, mental workings of the, 50. + a self-governing intelligence, 40. + parentage, selfishness of, 178. + -parenthood, prolonged, 8. + progress, youth the fountain of, 21. + rights, children to understand the balance of, 188. + status, permanence of childhood as a, 119. + stock, improving the, 263. + being, the, a social constituent, 19. + who does not work contemptible, the, 275. + + Humanity, degrees of, 3. + to improve, 6. + the time to develop the inheritance of, 17. + progress of, made through brain improvement, 149. + + Humour, errors of the child not grounds for, 172. + + + Impertinence of children, the, 175. + + Immaturity, biological advantage of a longer period of, 18. + + Impressions of a baby, the, 49. + of a child, early, 77. + + Improve, humanity to, 6. + + Improvement, race, transmitted, 4. + all possible, in the individual to be made before parentage, 21. + of the human stock, the, 263. + + Individual rights, maintenance of, by the mother, 195. + + Individuals, social service must be given by, 20. + + Infant mortality shamefully large, 246. + + Inheritance of constitution, our, 15. + + Intelligence, the human being a self-governing, 40. + + Instinct, parental, 177. + our dependence on the maternal, 263. + maternal, not sufficient to ensure good conditions to children, + 267. + + Institutions, children in, 124. + mortality of children in, 126. + + + Jesuits, obedience of the, 34. + + Justice, sense of, in children, 105. + + + Knowledge and wisdom, the difference between, 54. + + Koran, the, 114. + + + Labour, the employment of skilled, for household, 276. + household, mental capacities developed by, 247. + + Law of parental love, the, 177. + + Life, the brain in early forms of, 48. + + Lifetime, the most important decade of a, 18. + + Love for our children, our, 192. + the law of parental, 177. + open to measurement by results, 192. + mother, 193, 197. + + Lying to children, 102. + + + Majority of a girl at eighteen, reason for the, 293. + + Man, the distinctive power of, 53. + + "Mary Don't," 59. + + Maternal instinct, our dependence on the, 263. + not sufficient to ensure good conditions for children, 267. + + Maternal passion, need for restraint of the, 197. + + Maturity, early, a sign of bad social conditions, 294. + + Mental capacities developed by household labours, 247. + habits, primitive, fostered in family life, 169. + workings of the human creature, 50. + + Methuselah, 158. + + Modification, race, and individual modification, 10. + + Moral sense, effect on the, of arbitrary punishment, 84. + + Mortality, infant, shamefully large, 246. + + Mind, effect of obedience on the growing, 37. + absence of, 54. + presence of, 54. + connection between the, and behaviour, 54. + of a child, the, 57. + effect of authority coming between the child's, and his action, + 60. + + Mind-growth of the baby, the often neglected, 280. + failure of the mother to keep in touch with the, 250. + + Mother, the authority of the animal, 42. + necessity for the, to be grounded in ethics, 116. + and child, no separation of, 125. + the, not trained as an educator, 135. + and child, the need for consideration between, 187. + excessive sacrifice of the, injurious to the child, 193. + maintenance of individual rights by the, 195. + the domestic servant in the majority of homes, the, 233. + the natural, 258. + duty of the, to benefit the child, 261. + the "unnatural," 265. + + Mother's lack of respect for her little children, 179. + sacrificial devotion to the child, harmful effect of, the, 197. + personality, the place for a, 286. + + Mothers, the need for union among, 201. + benefits of discussion between, 207. + benefit of, observing other people's children, 204. + lack of educational perception among, 249. + the term natural as applied to, 258. + necessity for enlarging the responsibility of, 287. + public duty of, 288. + + Mother's Congress, the, 76. + + Mother-love, 193, 197. + + Motherhood, progress in, 261. + preparation for, 268. + work during, 271. + possibilities of combined, 284. + + + Natural law, the wisdom of following, 43. + + Natural, the use of the word, 255. + the word, applied to human conduct, 257. + the whole scale of human behaviour is, 256. + the term, as applied to mothers, 258. + + Nature, a state of, 256. + + Nurse, the private, not a proper person to have the care of children, + 132. + + Nursery, a public, suggested, 123. + isolation of the private, injurious to the child, 132. + + Nursemaids, difficulty of getting suitable, 212. + + + Obedience, 27. + the use of, 28. + in animals, 29. + in human education, 29. + the reason for, 31. + our reverence for, easily traced, 32. + in child training, 36. + of the Jesuits, 34. + is demanded from the child, reasons why, 37. + effect of, on the growing mind, 37. + the injurious reaction from, 39. + consideration of others not identical with, 40. + effect of, on the brain, 41. + qualities developed by, 45. + + Observation of children, method of, 206. + + Old, the advantage of the young over the, 158. + + Over-indulgence of children, the, 75. + + + Parent, continued life of the, 6. + + Parentage, traits acquired before, transmissible, 14. + all possible improvement in the individual should be made before, + 21. + not a profession, 165. + selfishness of human, 178. + + Parental knowledge, result of the child's deed made dependent upon, + 82. + duty the gift of nature, 164. + instinct, 177. + love, the law of, 177. + + Parenthood, prolonged human, 8. + the work of, 37. + + Parents, want of publicity and community in the action of, 75. + the punishment of children by, 75. + duty of, to children, 161. + demands of, on their children, 162. + + Parents' Congress, the, 70. + social responsibility to the child, 280. + + Penology, the advance in, 73. + + People, need for a better kind of, 251. + + Perception, delicacy of a child's, weakened by false impressions, 111. + + Personal example, social duty shown by, 112. + + Personal rights of the child, the, 174. + + Personality, the place for a mother's, 286. + + Philadelphia water supply, the, 289. + + Playgrounds, childrens', beginning to appear, 120. + + Plaything, a baby considered a, 175. + + Precept, example better than, 51. + + Prepared Food Association, the, 254. + + Presence of mind, 54. + the child trained to constant, 55. + + Printing press, main value of the, 5. + + Profession, parentage not a, 165. + + Progress born into the race, 7. + + Protestant Reformation, the, 35. + + Public nursery, a, suggested, 123. + baby garden, a, 124. + duty of mothers, 288. + + Punishment, retributive, 73. + of children, the, 74. + by parents, 75. + arbitrary, effect of, on the moral sense, 84. + + + Qualities developed by obedience, 45. + house-service, 243. + + Question of discipline, the, 71. + + Questions of children, the, 191. + + + Race improvement transmitted, 4. + development and environment, 7. + progress born into the, 7. + modification and individual modification, 10. + + Racial advance, improvement in the environment of children a road to, + 264. + + Reaction from obedience, the injurious, 39. + + Rearing children, importance of the work of, 37. + + Reasoning, children should be practised in, 68. + + Repetition, a child's tendency to, 191. + + Reproduction, biological law of, 296. + rapid, of the lowest classes resultant from their condition, 297. + + Respect to be commanded, not demanded, 166. + + Results, love open to measurement by, 192. + + Roman Catholic Church, obedience in the, 34. + + + Sacrifice, the doctrine of, 194. + + Salisbury method, the, 37. + + Savage, the, as a social constituent, 19. + + Schools, the improvement of, 149. + + School age, what children learn before, 77. + + Self-control one of the first essentials in the practice of ethics, + 107. + + Servants, domestic, effect of association with, on the child, 235. + + Shelley's "Skylark" mentioned, 53. + + "Skylark," Shelley's, mentioned, 53. + + Skilled labour, employment of, for household work, 271. + + Social conditions, early maturity the sign of bad, 284. + constituent, the human being a, 19. + the savage as a, 19. + development, arrested, 5. + duty shown by personal example, 112. + evolution and ethics, 99. + parentage, the father awake to the duties of, 283. + relation, ethics the science of, 105. + service given by individuals, 20. + status, a, at the level of its main constituents, 20. + + Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 75. + + Society of Collegiate Alumnæ, the, 289. + + Society, gradual protection of the child by, 292. + + Species, our power to improve the, 3. + + State of nature, a, 256. + + State, perception of the child's place in the, 119. + relation of the, to the child, 278. + the duty of the, to children, 290. + + Sunday-school, the, 117. + + Surroundings, influence of, on the child, 237. + + + Table manners, teaching a child, 63. + + Table, treatment of the child at, 183. + + Talmud, the, 114. + + Teaching taken up only by women obliged to work, 148. + + Thompson's, Mr., story, 29. + + Thought and action, connection between, 56. + + Traits acquired before parentage transmissible, 14. + + "Traits, acquired, not transmissible," 9. + + Travelling parties of children, 150. + + Treatment of the baby, our disrespectful, 171. + the child, no excuse for contemptuous, 177. + + + Unconscious education, advantages of, 144. + + United States Census Report, the, 233. + + Union among mothers, the need of, 201. + + "Unnatural" mother, the, 265. + + Unpunctuality at breakfast, 189. + + + Virtue, all, made of necessity, 27. + of chastity, 27. + of courage, the, 27. + of endurance, the, 26. + of obedience, the, 27. + what is a, 25. + + + Weissman, theory, the, 9. + + Will, power of the, 47. + + Wisdom and knowledge, 54. + of following natural law, 43. + + Woman's brain modified by its kind of exercise, 245. + + Women, ignoring of civic duties by, 154. + the care of children the duty of, 155. + behaviour of, to children, 179. + few, like housework, 245. + + Work, the, of parenthood, 37. + during motherhood, 271. + the human being who does not, contemptible, 275. + + + Young, advantage of the, over the old, 158. + better education of the, an imperative need, 253. + ambition of the, a force to lift mankind, 23. + respect due to the, 172. + + Youth, the foolishness of, due to our training, 21. + the fountain of human progress, 21. + + + Zend-Avesta, the, 114. + + + + + PRINTED BY MORRISON AND GIBB LIMITED, EDINBURGH + + + * * * * * + + + THE BOOKS OF + CHARLOTTE PERKINS STETSON + + (Mrs. G. H. GILMAN) + + + + + WOMEN AND ECONOMICS + + A STUDY OF THE ECONOMIC RELATION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AS A FACTOR + IN SOCIAL EVOLUTION + + _358 pages, crown 8vo, cloth, 6s._ + + +In writing this book it has been Mrs. Stetson's purpose to point out, +explain, and justify the changes now going on in the relations of +women to society. The subject is one which must inevitably come home +to every household in the country. No woman, whatever her position or +the conditions surrounding her, can read the book and not feel that +the whole argument applies to herself and her concerns almost like a +personal appeal. + +In brief, the position taken is that women have for centuries been +economically dependent on men; that as a result women have been +tending to become more and more feminine and less and less normal +human beings. Even this bald statement of Mrs. Stetson's thesis will +serve to show the scope and importance of her book. The argument is +extended to every branch of social activity with remarkable +originality. It may safely be said that hardly any volume of recent +years has treated a confused subject with so much real intelligence +and in an attitude so singularly fair and high-minded. + +It has been no part of Mrs. Stetson's purpose to write a dull book. On +the contrary, one of the surprising qualities of _Women and Economics_ +is its readableness throughout--the really absorbing interest of its +argument even to the least scientific reader. It is a book hard to lay +down. One hardly knows which to admire the more,--its clearness, +earnestness, and courage, or the keen wit and shrewd satire which keep +its pages fresh and sparkling to the end. + +Whether one finally agrees with Mrs. Stetson's position or not, _Women +and Economics_ is distinctly a book one cannot afford to miss. It is +worth reading if only for its high ideals of a finer marriage, a +family better nourished and better bred, a fuller life and opportunity +for childhood, and a more complete and better rounded womanhood in the +house as well as in society. + + +_WHAT THE CRITICS SAY_ + +"Mrs. Stetson's polemical poetry has a force and vigour of its own, +which may perhaps serve to drive home the arguments lucidly stated in +'Women and Economics.' She differs from other advocates of women's +rights, chiefly in her estimate of women as they are."--_Athenæum._ + +"There have been heard now and again whispers of feminine discontent, +hints that the relations of the sexes are on a not entirely +satisfactory footing, and suggestions that marriage from a woman's +point of view, comes near being a failure.... In her book Mrs. Stetson +goes to the very root of the matter, and turns hints, as it were, into +italics."--_World._ + +"The charm of the book lies in its evident sincerity, its eloquent +appeals to the higher side of human nature, and its wholesale +optimism. These qualities will make the book a power for good among +those who have hitherto given little thought to the position of women +in society, and the fearless exposure of many social evils will +stimulate such readers to serious thought."--_Fabian News._ + +"When we pass to the book of the lady whose inspiration is derived +from the expansive temperament of the great Republic of the West ... +we recognise at once how much more hopeful one can be when one is not +a citizen of a played-out European nation.... Mrs. Stetson's intention +is to show that what she calls the 'excessive sex development' of +women is responsible for some of the worst evils under which we +suffer.... With a great deal of what she says on this matter it is +impossible not to agree."--_Saturday Review._ + +"'Women and Economics' is a book to be read and a book to be thought +about, whether you may agree with it or not. If all the literature of +the feminist movement had been half so cogent, so accurately based on +fact, so sincere, and withal so pure and modest as this, the feminist +movement of to-day would have been a great deal farther advanced than +it is."--_Hearth and Home._ + +"Here is a book that, whether we look on its teaching as wholesome or +dangerous, we are bound to acknowledge to be of exceptional ability. +It is the book of a woman of a clear and of a trained intellect, and +of great courage. As such it demands attention and very likely will +get it--of the hostile kind--from many quarters."--_Bookman._ + +"To-day it will meet with opposition and dispute--more or less great as +we appreciate more or less truly the conditions of human progress. Ten +years hence--perhaps five years hence--it will be accepted eagerly. +Twenty years hence it will be a mere milestone of history. These are the +stages through which books must pass which contain true analyses of +transient societies. But the literary historian who somewhere towards the +latter half of the twentieth century looks up Mrs. Stetson's volume, will +find amid phrases grown old-fashioned, and arguments long since admitted, +a sparkle of wit, a lucidity of statement and an admirable spirit of +justice and allowance, likely even in those improved days to be still +rare among controversialists."--_Academy._ + +"There is one thing at all events that may be predicated of this book. +It is admirably devised for the purpose of making a dust.... There are +some who will read Mrs. Stetson's book with anger or will turn from it +with repulsion. I cannot put myself in their place. To me it seems +that the courageous and clear-headed American woman speaks as a rule +the language of reason and sense. I read her with pleasure and +gratitude.... It is an honest and stimulating book. Perfect in temper, +noble in intention, and therefore it is to be cordially +welcomed."--_Sunday Sun._ + +"Mrs. Stetson is such a specimen of the modern woman as it does one +good to encounter. She is strong and clear; as free from noise as from +flippancy.... 'Women and Economics' is a book to read."--_Echo._ + +"Mrs. Stetson's contribution to the woman question is a notable one, +but it is notable chiefly because of its logical conclusions, its +constructive ability, its art of putting things in an arranging +way."--_Humanitarian._ + + + + + IN THIS OUR WORLD + + REVISED AND ENLARGED EDITION + + _16mo, cloth, ornamental, gilt top, with a photogravure frontispiece + from a recent photograph, 5s._ + + +This new Edition, following the little pamphlet volumes issued on the +Pacific Coast, should give her book a popularity as wide as the +country. Certainly the vigour, the _verve_, the deep moral +earnestness, and the delightful humour and extraordinary talent for +satire which she displays in these poems, have hardly been surpassed. +The volume is divided into three parts. The first, entitled _The +World_, ranges in subject from _Similar Cases_ and _An Obstacle_ (to +name only two of those satirical pieces by which Mrs. Stetson has +hitherto been best known), to lyrics of nature remarkable for their +tender sympathy and loving observation. While the third part, called +_The March_, deals with the "forward movement" of human brotherhood +which has always been so dear to Mrs. Stetson's heart. + + +_PRESS NOTICES_ + +"Mrs. Stetson's civic satire is of a form which she has herself +invented; it recalls the work of no one else; you can say of it that +since the Biglow Papers there has been no satire approaching it in the +wit flashing from profound conviction."--W. D. HOWELLS in the _North +American Review_. + +"Mrs. Stetson has plenty to say, especially when her theme is +revolt."--_Spectator._ + +"She puts things in a new way and succeeds by sheer intensity of +insight and directness of personal consciousness. The book is too +exclusively occupied with morals, no doubt; but this is an Anglo-Saxon +weakness--or strength, and, like everything else, it is justified when +it succeeds.... We do not say that this is a volume of great poetry, +but we do say that it is an original and interesting book, one of the +best kind, the kind that makes us stop and think."--_Literature._ + +"On the whole Mrs. Stetson's little book is a refreshing proof of the +spread of culture in California."--_Manchester Guardian._ + +"The gospel which C. P. Stetson preaches in her delightful verses, 'In +this our World,' is as original as it is well expressed. It is not +only in the novelty of the theme, but also in the freshness and vigour +of her diction, that her charm lies.... She is really a very +remarkable writer, and possesses a power of thought and expression +seldom met with."--_Gentlewoman._ + + + + + THE YELLOW WALL PAPER + + _12mo, paper boards, 2s._ + + +"Mrs. Charlotte Perkins Stetson's 'The Yellow Wall Paper' is a conceit +fantastical and gruesome enough to have emanated from the brain of +Edgar Poe. It is written with remarkable vividness, as if the writer +had experienced something very like the misery which she describes. +There is nothing extravagant or unreal in the narration. Wall-papers, +yellow and other coloured, have had often a pernicious influence on +people of defective nervous poise, and quite unbalanced them. Mrs. +Stetson's story has a purely literary justification, but is none the +worse for teaching a lesson which some loving husbands and parents +would do well to heed."--_Christian Register._ + + + + + TALKS WITH BARBARA + + Being an Informal and Experimental Discussion, from the Point + of View of a Young Woman of To-morrow, of certain of the + Complexities of Life, particularly in regard to the Relations + of Men and Women + + By ELIZABETH KNIGHT TOMPKINS + + AUTHOR OF "HER MAJESTY," "THE THINGS THAT COUNT," ETC. + + _Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s._ + + +Miss Tompkins sets forth in this volume certain striking opinions in +regard to the problems which confront young men and young women of +to-day. She has drawn a bright and energetic girl, whose breezy talks +with her masculine friend include many bits of protest against the +restrictions at present imposed by Mrs. Grundy. + + + + + THE THINGS THAT COUNT + + By ELIZABETH KNIGHT TOMPKINS + + AUTHOR OF "HER MAJESTY," "THE BROKEN RING," ETC. + + _12mo, cloth, 3s. 6d._ + + +In her well-known graphic style, Miss Tompkins has made a strong and +vivid study of a character hitherto not delineated in American +fiction. Her heroine is an indolent young woman of small means, who +lives by visiting the houses of wealthy friends. The story of her +regeneration, through her affection for a man of strong character, is +cleverly told. + + + + + HOUSEHOLD ECONOMICS + + A COURSE OF LECTURES IN THE SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS OF THE + UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN + + By HELEN CAMPBELL + + AUTHOR OF "PRISONERS OF POVERTY," "WOMEN WAGE-EARNERS," ETC. + + _8vo, cloth extra, gilt tops, 6s._ + + + + + G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS + LONDON AND NEW YORK + + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +A few obvious printer errors were repaired, but otherwise spelling and +punctuation were retained as in the original, including variant +spellings on the same words (for example: "color" and "colour"). + +The index is not listed in the original Contents page. + +In the original, index entries for "Humanity, degrees of," and +"Species, power to improve the," erroneously referred to page 1. These +entries have been corrected to page 3. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Concerning Children, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40481 *** |