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diff --git a/4033.txt b/4033.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..25e525d --- /dev/null +++ b/4033.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1704 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Who Spoke Next, by Eliza Lee Follen + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Who Spoke Next + +Author: Eliza Lee Follen + +Posting Date: June 7, 2009 [EBook #4033] +Release Date: May, 2003 +First Posted: October 17, 2001 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHO SPOKE NEXT *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + + + +WHO SPOKE NEXT + + +BY + +MRS. FOLLEN + + + +With Illustrations by Billings and others + + + + + +THE OLD GARRET + + +Boys are not apt to forget a promise of a story. Frank and Harry did +not fail to call upon their mother for the history of the old musket. + +"It appeared to me," said the mother, "that the old musket was not very +willing to tell his story. He had a sort of old republican pride, and +felt himself superior to the rest of the company in character and +importance. When he had made himself heard in the world hitherto, it +had always been by one short, but very decided and emphatic word; he +despised any thing like a palaver; so he began very abruptly, and as if +he had half a mind not to speak at all, because he could not speak in +his own way. + +"None but fools," said he, "have much to say about themselves--'Deeds, +not words,' is a good motto for all. But as I would not be churlish, +and as I have agreed, as well as the rest of my companions, to tell my +story, I will mention what few things worth relating I can recollect. + +I have no distinct consciousness, as my friend the pitcher or the +curling tongs has, of what I was before the ingenuity of man brought me +into my present form. I would only mention that all the different +materials of which I was formed must have been perfect of their kind, +or I could never have performed the duties required of me. + +My first very distinct recollection is of being stood up in the way I +am standing now, with a long row of my brethren, of the same shape and +character as myself, as I supposed. This was in a large building +somewhere in England. I, like the curling tongs, was at last packed up +in a box, and brought to America, but it took a rather larger box to +take me and my friends, than it took to pack up him and his friends, +with all their thin straddle legs." + +Creak went the curling tongs at this personal attack. + +"We were brought to this country," continued the old musket, "by an +Englishman. Little did he think how soon we should take part against +our Fatherland, or he would have kept us at home. + +One day, the elder brother of the gentleman who owned our little friend +curling tongs came into the shop where I then was, and, after looking +at all the muskets, selected me as one that he might trust. As he paid +for me, he said to the man, "This is an argument which we shall soon +have to use in defence of our liberties." + +"I fear we shall," said the shopman, "and if many men are of your mind, +I hope, sir, you will recommend my shop to them. I shall be happy to +supply all true patriots with the very best English muskets." + +My new master smiled, and took me home to his house in the country. + +The family consisted of himself, his wife, and three children--two sons +and a daughter. The eldest son was eighteen, the second sixteen, and +the daughter fourteen. The mistress of the house turned pale when she +saw my master bring me in and quietly set me down in a corner of the +room behind the old clock. + +Presently the two young men entered. The younger shuddered a little +when he saw me, but the elder clapped his hands and exclaimed, "That's +good! We have got a musket now, and the English will find out that we +know how to use it!" + +"Pray to God, my son," said his mother, "that we may never have to use +it." + +The boy did not give much heed to what his mother said, but took me up, +examined me all over, and, after snapping my trigger two or three +times, pronounced me to be a real good musket, and placed me again in +the corner where his father had put me at first. + +The next day, my master took me out to try me. I confess I was not +pleased at the first charge with which I was loaded. When I felt the +powder, ball, wadding and all, rammed down so hard, it was as +disagreeable to me as a boy's first hard lesson in grammar is to him, +and seemed to me as useless, for I did not then know what I was made +for, nor of what use all this stuffing could be. But when my master +pulled the trigger, and I heard the neighboring hills echo and reecho +with the sound, I began to feel that I was made for something, and grew +a little vain at the thought of the noise I should make in the world. + +I did not then know all I was created for; it seemed to me that it was +only to make a great noise. I soon learned better, and understood the +purpose of my being more perfectly. + +A few days after this, the family was all astir some time before +sunrise. There was a solemn earnestness in their faces, even in the +youngest of them, that was very impressive. + +At last, my master took me up, put me in complete order, loaded me and +set me down in the same place, saying as he did so, "Now all is ready." +His wife sighed heavily. He looked at her and said, "My dear, would you +not have us defend our children and firesides against the oppressors?" + +"Yes," she said, "go, but my heart must ache at the thought of what may +happen. If I could only go with you!" + +They sat silent for a long time, holding each other's hands, and +looking at their children, till, just at sunrise, his brother John, +that sleeping child's grandfather, rushed into the house, crying, "They +are in sight from the hill. Come, Tom, quickly, come to the church." My +master seized me in a moment, kissed his wife and children, and without +speaking hastened to the place where the few men of the then very small +town were assembled to resist the invaders. + +Presently about eight hundred men, all armed with muskets as good as I +was, and of the same fashion, were seen. These men had two cannon with +them which made a fearful show to the poor colonists, as the Americans +were then called. + +Our men were about one hundred in number. The lordly English marched up +within a few rods of us, and one called out, "Disperse, you rebels. Lay +down your arms, and disperse." + +Our men did not however lay down their arms. My master grasped me +tighter than before. We did not stir an inch. Immediately the British +officers fired their pistols, then a few of their men fired their +muskets, and, at last, the whole party fired upon our little band as we +were retreating. They killed eight men, and then went on to Concord, to +do more mischief there. + +I felt a heavy weight fall upon me; it was my master's dead body; and +so I learned what muskets were made for. His fingers were on the +trigger; as he fell, he pulled it, and in that sound his spirit seemed +to depart. + +The British marched on to Concord, and the poor brave people of +Lexington, who had so gallantly made the first resistance, were left to +mourn over dead companions and friends. + +Soon the eldest son of my master discovered his father among the slain. +The poor fellow! I never shall forget his sorrow. He groaned as if his +heart would break, and then he laid himself down on the ground by the +side of his father's body, and wept bitterly. + +One must be made of harder stuff than I am, to forget such a thing as +this. I do not ever like to speak of it, or of the painful scene that +followed. The poor widow and her fatherless children! It seemed a +dreadful work that I and such as I were made to perform. + +But there were other things to be thought of then. The British soon +returned from Concord, where they had destroyed some barrels of flour +and killed two or three men. + +In the mean time, the men from all the neighboring towns collected +together, armed with all the muskets they could find, and annoyed them +severely on their return by firing on them from behind stone walls. + +My master's brother took me from the corner where I had been again +placed, and joined the party. He placed himself behind a fence by which +they must pass, and took such good aim with me that down fell a man +every time I spoke. + +Other muskets performed the same work. What they did you may judge of, +when I tell you that, while two hundred and seventy-three Englishmen +fell that day, only eighty-eight Americans were killed. I will not talk +of what I myself performed, for I despise a boaster, but I did my share +of duty, I believe. + +About two months after this, uncle John, as the children called him, +came again to borrow me. He was going to join the few brave men who +opposed the British force at Bunker or Breed's Hill. + +"Sister," he said, "you will lend me the musket, will you not? I cannot +afford to buy one, and we must teach these English what stuff we are +made of." + +"Let me go, Mother," said the eldest boy. "I am old enough now; I am +almost nineteen; let me go." + +His mother said nothing; she looked at the vacant chair which was +called his father's; she considered a while, and then took me and put +me into her son's hands. + +"God bless you, William," she said, "and bring you back safe to us; but +do your duty and fear nothing." + +She kissed him, and he left her. I felt William's heart beat bravely as +he shouldered me. He was a fine fellow. We were as one. I was proud of +him, and he of me. No man and musket did better than William and I, on +that never-to-be-forgotten day; but, in the midst of the battle, a shot +wounded William's right arm, and he let me fall. + +His uncle led him off the field and sent him home to his mother. A +countryman, who had nothing but an oak stick to fight with, seized me +as I lay on the ground, and here I met with the first mortification of +my life--he actually used me to dig with. This was a contemptible +feeling in me, and I have since learned to be ashamed of it, and to +know that all labor is equally honorable, if it is for a good end. They +had not tools enough for making entrenchments, and they actually used +the bayonet, of which I had been proud, for this purpose. In the +confusion after the battle, I was forgotten. I was left at the bottom +of the works in the mud. + +It was a hard thing for me to be parted from William, and to feel that +I should never be restored to my corner in his mother's room behind the +old clock; but I had a conviction that I had taken part in a great +work, and I enjoyed our triumphs greatly. + +This, you will think, no doubt, was glory enough for one musket; but a +greater still was in reserve for me. It is with muskets as with men, +one opportunity improved opens the way for another, and every chance +missed is a loss past calculation; for every gain that might have grown +out of that chance is lost too. + +Every one should remember that, as he fights his way through the battle +of life; and, when tempted to slacken his fire, think of what the old +revolutionary spirit, speaking through my muzzle, taught on that +day,--'hold on, and hold fast, and hold out. Never stop, stay, or +delay, but make ready!--present!--fire!--and, again and again, make +ready!--present!--fire!--till every round of ammunition is gone.'" + +Here the dry, rusty, unmodulated tone, in which the old king's arm had, +up to this time, spoken, suddenly changed; and it seemed as if a +succession of shots had been let off. Then, bringing himself down to +the floor with a DUNT off of the little tea chest full of old shoes, on +which he had stood leaning against the brick chimney, exactly as he +used to do grounding arms seventy years ago, he quietly dropped back +into the drowsy tone of narrative, and proceeded:-- + +"Yes--never flag nor hang back. The greater the danger, the more do you +press up to the mark. So we did at Trenton in the Jerseys, on that most +glorious day of my life of which I am now about to tell you. + +I must tell you that I had the honor of fighting under General +Washington; for I had been marched down to Trenton with a stout-hearted +teamster, named Judah Loring, from Braintree, Massachusetts, who, after +our battle at Bunker Hill, in that State, picked me up from the bottom +of the works, where, for want of pickaxes, I had been, as I told you, +serving as a trenching, tool, and made himself my better-half and +commander-in-chief. Excuse a stately phrase; but, after the battle of +Bunker Hill, I never could screw up my muzzle to call any man master or +owner again. + +We found only a few thousand men and muskets there, principally from +Virginia, Pennsylvania, and the Jerseys, with a few companies of New +Englanders; and a steadier, sturdier set of men than these last never +breathed. They had enlisted for six months only, and their time was +out; but they never spoke of quitting the field. + +It was now December, in the midst of snow and ice; and not a foot among +them that did not come bleeding to the frozen path it trod. But, night +after night, the men relieved each other to mount guard, though the +provision chest was well nigh empty; and, day after day, they scoured +the country for the chance of supplies, appearing to the enemy on half +a dozen points in the course of the day; making him think the +provincials, as we were scornfully called, ten times as numerous as we +really were. But alas, I am old, I find, and lose the thread of my +story. It was of Washington I meant to speak. + +Nobody could know General Washington that had not seen him as we did, +at that dark hour of the struggle. It seemed as if that man never +slept. All day he was planning, directing, contriving; and all night +long he would write--write--write; letters to Congress, begging them to +give him full powers, and all would go well, for he did not want power +for himself, but only power to serve them; letters to the generals in +the north, warning, comforting, and advising them; letters to his +family and friends, bidding them look at him and do as he did; letters +to influential men every where, entreating them to enlist men and money +for the holy cause. + +He never rested; and, with the cold gray dawning, would order out his +horse and ride through and around the miserable tents, and where we +often slept under the bare heavens, and every heart was of bolder and +better cheer as he passed. + +His look never changed. It was just the same steady face, whatever went +on before it; whether he saw us provincials beaten back, or watched a +thousand British regulars pile their arms after the victory at Trenton. + +He looked as he does in the great picture in Faneuil Hall, on the +right, as you stand before the rostrum. He stands there, by his horse, +just as I saw him before the passage of the Delaware, with the steady, +serious, immovable look that puts difficulties out of countenance. It +is the look of a man of sense and judgment, who has come to the +determination to save the country, and means to transact that piece of +business without fail. + +I never saw that quiet, iron look change but once. I will tell you +about it. It was one of those days after the battle of Trenton, when he +tried to concentrate the troops that he had scattered over the country, +to bring them to bear upon the British. His object was to show the +enemy that they could not keep their foothold. + +Between Trenton and Princeton he ordered the assault. The Virginians +were broken at the enemy's first charge, and could not be rallied a +second time against the British bayonets. General Washington commanded +and threatened and entreated in vain. + +We of New England saw the crisis, marched rapidly up, and poured in our +fire at the exact moment, Judah Loring and I in the very front. + +The British could not stand the fire. We gave it to them plenty, I tell +you. Judah Loring loaded, and I fired over and over and over again, +till it seemed as if he and I were one creature. + +A musket, I should explain to you, feels nothing of itself, but only +receives a double share of the nature of the man who carries it. + +I felt ALIVE that day. Judah was hot, but I was hotter; and, before the +cartridge box was empty, he pulled down his homespun blue and white +frock sleeve over his wrist, and rested me upon it when he took aim. He +was a gentle-hearted fellow, though as brave as his musket. + +"She's so hot," says he, doubling his sleeve into his palm, "that I +can't hold her; but I can't stop firing NOW!" + +I met his wishes exactly, I knew by that word; for he always called +every thing he liked, SHE. The sun was SHE; so was his father's old +London-made watch; so was the Continental Congress. + +General Washington saw the whole;--the enemy, driven back before our +fire, could never be brought to look us in the face again. We held the +ground;--the Virginia troops rallied;--General Washington took off his +cocked hat, and lifted it high, like a finished gentleman, as he was. +"Hurrah!" he shouted, "God bless the New England troops! God bless the +Massachusetts line!" [Footnote: This was all fact, related by one who +was present.] And his steady face flamed and gave way like melting +metal. + +Ah, what a set of men were those! I felt the firm trip-hammer of all +their pulses beat through the whole fight, for we stood in platoon, +shoulder to shoulder. I felt my kindred with every one of them. They +had more steel in their nerves and more iron in their blood than other +men. Not a man cared a straw for his life, so he saved from wrong and +bondage the lives of them that should come after him. + +That day's work raised hope in every man's heart through the land. Said +I not well that it was the most glorious of my life? + +I have but little more to say. I have said more than I meant to, more +perhaps than was wise to say of my own glory. But the thought of those +brave days of old makes one too talkative. + +I must tell you, however, how I at last came here. Judah Loring brought +me home safe; he was a very honest fellow, and seeing the initials +scratched on my butt-end, and 'Lexington' underneath, he went there on +purpose to find to whom I belonged. + +My friend William claimed me, and I was again placed behind the old +clock in the little parlor. His mother looked very calm, and almost +happy, but not as she once did; she sighed heavily when William brought +me home. William's wound in his arm healed after a while, but his arm +was disabled. By great self-denial and exertion, his mother had got him +into college, and he was to be a schoolmaster. + +The sight of me was painful to this good woman, and she gave me to +uncle John who kept me safely and, on the whole, honorably till his son +placed me here. + +There is one disgrace I have met with which, in good faith, however +unwillingly, I ought to mention. Uncle John used me to kill skunks +occasionally. This there was no great harm in doing, only he should not +have talked about it. I disliked, it, however, exceedingly. + +Once, I am told, when he was in the South, some southern gentleman, for +some trifling offense, challenged him. + +Uncle John was told that he, as the party challenged, might choose his +weapons. + +"Well," he said to his enemy, "if you will wait till I can send for my +skunk gun, I am ready for you." + +I have since, I do hate to say it, been called the skunk gun +repeatedly. To be sure, no one that has any reverence in his nature +speaks of me in this way. Uncle John had not much, but his son, the +father of that little girl, treats me with due respect, and forbids +them to call me the skunk gun. + +I was once the defender of liberty, and am ready to be so again. I was +not made to kill skunks, those disgusting little animals. I hate to +think of them. + +Pardon me for keeping you listening to me so long; I have done. I wish +to hear now what that respectable-looking broadsword has to say. We two +ought to be friends." + +"I was born a gentleman," said the broadsword. "I was always considered +the sign, the symbol of one. Not many years since, a sword was so +essential to the character of a gentleman that a man without one by his +side, was, in fact, not considered a gentleman. + +My master, who was also yours, Mr. Curlingtongs, was one the officers +in the company of Cadets at its first formation. He had the honorable +title of Major, and all his best friends called him Major. Little did I +think once that I should be condemned to the disgrace of spending my +old age in a garret with crooked curling tongs, broken pitchers, old +baize gowns, noseless tea-kettles, old crutches, a foot stove, and, +worse than all, a spinning wheel. + +My only peers here are the venerable musket and the respectable wig. +Even they have seen too much hard service to be able fully to +appreciate the feelings of a gentleman who has been brought up as I +have. The degradation the musket especially endured, in being used as a +spade by such a very common sort of person as Judah Loring--a +degradation of which, far from being ashamed, he seems actually proud; +all this, I say, my friends, makes a wide separation between us never +to be forgotten or got over." + +"I'm agreed, the further off the better," growled the musket. The old +wig also gave a sort of contemptuous hitch, that seemed to say, he +agreed with the musket. + +"I consider myself," resumed the broad-sword, "to be a perfect +gentleman. I have never denied myself by any sort of labor. I have been +considered something to show, something to be used only as a terror to +evil doers. + +It strikes me that I really made the Major; he never could appear in +his company or perform his duties without me; his queue was not more +essential. He was not a Major without me. Every one feared me when they +saw my shining blade out of its scabbard, and it was really amusing +occasionally to see the effect I produced. There have been swords that +have done bloody work, but I have never been so defiled. + +The Boston Cadets, you know, are the Governor's body guard, and such is +the anxiety of people sometimes to see a real live governor when he has +on his governor's dress and character, that the women and children +crowd around him so that he can hardly find room to move and breathe. +At one of these times of great pressure, my master took me out and +flourished me round bravely. O, how they all scampered! just like a +flock of frightened geese, merely at the sight of me. Such is the +effect of my mere appearance. To be sure, the Major laughed whenever he +told this story. I know not why, for it is perfectly true. + +Once, when all the men in the family were gone away,--it was since we +have lived in the country,--the children were in the upper chamber, and +the doors were open below, and they saw a frightful-looking beggar +coming up the avenue; he was lame and had a patch over his eye. He +looked terrible; but one of the girls ran for me, and took me out of +the scabbard, and shook me at him out of the window, and screamed out +to him to go off; whereupon he turned about and hobbled off as fast as +he could. + +One of the little girls said she did not believe there was any harm in +the poor beggar, and that she would go down and let him in, and give +him something to eat, but the biggest boy shook me at her for only +saying so, so as to dazzle her eyes and frighten her, and she became +silent and remained where she was. + +Many such feats I have performed, too many to relate. Children, to be +sure, especially big blustering rude boys, have occasionally played +tricks with me. When they play Bombastes Furioso they come for me." + +"All right," said the musket. + +"These little rogues have gapped my fine edge, and one good-for-nothing +scamp used me to cut down cabbages, but, as he came very near cutting +down his younger brother at the same time, he was sent to bed +supperless by his father. I have really never performed any drudgery. +Like Caesar, 'I came, I saw, I conquered.'" + +At these words, there was a sort of scornful laugh from every venerable +person in the garret. Even the old baize gown shook with merriment; +this vexed the sword so completely that he stopped speaking; and, +notwithstanding their entreaties, would not resume the story or speak +another word. + +There was a deep silence, for a few moments, which was broken, at last, +by the old wig, who called upon the warming pan to tell her story; the +warming pan obeyed, and spoke as follows:-- + +"I pass over my early life. Time was when I was thought much of in this +family. Early in the autumn, I was rubbed and polished till you could +see your face in me. + +On the first cold night, some nice walnut wood embers were carefully +put into me; I had the pleasure and honor of being passed up and down +my mistress's bed till it was well warmed, and this service I performed +for her constantly till the warm weather returned. + +When any one in the family was ill, I was employed on the same service +for him or her; or when guests came to pass the night, I performed this +office for them, and this was all apparently which my existence was +for. A very monotonous life I led, to be sure, but I am of a quiet +nature and care not for much variety. + +I remember only one or two things which occurred beyond this dull +routine; these I will relate and then give place to some more +interesting speaker. + +One day, I was suddenly seized upon by one of the maids, and carried +out into the orchard, when she began beating me with an iron spoon, and +making as much noise as she possibly could; presently others of the +family joined with tin pans and kettles, and such a babel of sound you +never heard; this, I found afterwards, was to stupefy a swarm of bees +and make them alight which, at last, they did. Then one of the men with +a handkerchief over his face, and with gloves on, swept the bees into a +new hive, and put it by the side of the old ones. + +After this bruising, I was hung up upon my accustomed peg, but my +brazen face still shows the marks which Dolly's iron spoon left on me +that morning. + +One feat, however, I performed, which I should think might put our +friend the sword to the blush. I did do something in defence of our +native land in the hour of her danger; he it seems did nothing in his +whole life but play gentleman. + +Our cook Dolly was a brave woman, and, during the Revolution, once or +twice she was left quite alone in the house, and every thing was put +under her care. + +Upon one of these occasions, she was up stairs, and thought she heard +some one in the house; she came down very softly, and saw a man in the +pantry helping himself to the silver; he was so much occupied, and she +moved so softly, that he did not see or hear her. I was hanging in the +entry close by where she passed; she took me down very softly, came up +behind the soldier,--for such he was,--and gave him a good box on the +ear with me, instead of her hand. This scared him so effectually that +he threw down the silver, and scampered off after his companions who +were in the stable looking for horses which they meant to take for +themselves. Dolly, in the mean time, caught up the silver, ran out of +another door into a wood near the house, where she hid herself and the +silver till the enemy were gone. + +These are all the events of my life that I remember. After my master's +and mistress's death, I was sent up garret to be put among the useless +old things, such as gentlemen's broadswords, broken pitchers, noseless +tea-kettles, &c. The reason for this is not that I am worn out, but +because the age is so much wiser that they have come to the conclusion +that cold beds are more healthy than warm ones; so here I am left to +rust out with the rest of my fellow-sufferers. Perhaps my cousin foot +stove may have something more interesting to relate. I have done." + +The foot stove seemed half inclined not to speak; but, after a little +urging, she said, in a whining tone, + +"Every one knows that I was made to be trodden under foot and to be +abused. There was, to be sure, a period of my life somewhat more +respectable. + +Many years ago, I was regularly, during the cold weather, brightened up +and put in nice order every Saturday, and on Sunday taken to church; +for then the churches were cold, and, without me well filled with +blazing coals, my mistress could not have borne to listen for more than +an hour to the good minister's sermon. + +Sermons at that time were sermons indeed; and the people got their +money's worth of preaching. + +I was indeed, at that time, a great favorite in the house. All the old +people cared for me especially, and I was kept often in the parlor, +and, when I was cold, the children were allowed to sit upon me, but +never to abuse me. But this is a capricious, changing, cheating, vain +world, and foot stoves are not thought much of nowadays. The churches +are warmed all over, so that foot stoves are not needed, and so I never +go to church; indeed, in my broken-down state of health, it would +hardly be safe for me to do so. I am not even used at home, if it is +possible to do without me: and then, if I ever am brought down stairs, +a long apology is made for my looks. + +The truth is, my life has not been a happy or desirable one. I have had +much to suffer. One happy moment I had. The dear lady to whom I first +belonged had long wished to have a stove, but was prevented from buying +one because she would not spend money on herself for any thing if she +could possibly do without. Her husband, who was the owner of the +curling tongs, when he knew this, determined to get her a stove; and, +on the very day when she burned his hair in her efforts to learn to +dress it as well as the hair dresser, he purchased me for her. + +I was the very best stove in the shop; and, when he presented me to +her, he said, "Now, my dear, in revenge for your burning my head, I +will heap coals of fire not on your head, but under your feet, +especially when you go to church; so beware lest I burn your feet as +you did my head." + +This pretty attention of her husband's pleased her so much that she +kept me in sight for many days. When shall I forget how soft and light +her pretty, neatly dressed feet felt, the first time she used me? + +For a long while I was her stove alone; but after a time, all sorts of +feet were put upon me, and life grew common and tiresome. + +After my mistress's death, I was much neglected, for wise folks said +foot stoves should not be used. At last, the cook, who was no invalid, +and did not care for doctors, took me up, and soon began to consider me +as her property, and kept me in the kitchen. + +One day, however, the farmer's boy brought in some heavy logs of wood, +and threw them down carelessly. One fell upon me, and smashed me up, +leaving me as you now see me. Here I remain shattered and +forsaken--nothing but an old broken foot stove that nobody cares for. + +I hope that those stout, good-looking and-irons will now tell their +story. They look to me just as upright and stiff and strong as when I +first saw them in our dear master's chimney corner. To be sure, they +are not so bright and shining as they were then, but they look, in all +other respects, just as they did then, and life has fallen lighter on +them than on your poor humble servant, the foot stove." + +The andirons were now called upon to entertain the company. "We have +always had the comfort and blessing of living together," said one of +them. Indeed we should not be good for any thing apart. A pair of +andirons belong together as much as the two parts of a pair of +scissors. So we have never been lonely. We have had much to be thankful +for. We are, to be sure, called 'the old dogs.' The name sounds +disagreeable, and is hard to bear; but we are made of good Russia iron, +and can endure a good deal. + +Time was when the old dogs were essential to the warmth and comfort of +the family, but they went out of fashion. Modern improvements, as they +are called, sent us away from the cheerful domestic hearth to this old +dusty garret, and spiders weave their webs over our very faces; but, +like other DOGS, we had our day. + +What article of furniture in the old-fashioned snug parlor was so +essential as we? How could the fragrant hickory and birch sticks have +sent their cheering light and warmth over the faces of the happy family +circles without our support? + +The tea-kettle, genial and comely as it always was while it had a nose, +was still but an occasional visitor. We were always there. We listened +to the early morning prayer which the good man offered, on every new +day, to the Giver of all good. We were present when he lifted his +earnest voice of grateful joy, for the blessings of loving friends and +healthy children, who made their quiet life an Eden of peace and +goodness. + +We were present too when sorrow came, softened by religious faith--by +trust in a loving Father. + +We heard when, again and again, the news that another child was born +was sounded through the house with a sweetly solemn joy, like the voice +of an angel proclaiming anew peace on earth and good will to men. + +How many secrets we have listened to! How many love scenes we have +witnessed! How many ringing shouts of laughter have we heard! How many +unbidden tears have we seen flow! What stories we might tell! But it +would not be right for us to tell all we know. I suppose the good old +couple, as they sat of winter evenings over the embers, when the +children were gone to bed, never thought of our telling what we heard. + +One trick that the boys planned in our hearing, and the punishment they +got for their roguery, I will tell you about, if you are not tired of +our story." + +"Go ahead," shouted the musket, with a bounce. + +"There were five boys in the family. One of them, a little fellow of +ten years of age, was foolish enough to be afraid of the dark. His +brothers resolved to cure him, and took the worst way possible, which +was, to give him something to be frightened at. + +On the upper shelf of a closet in the room in which they slept was a +very large bundle. They determined to tie a string to the bundle, and, +before George went up to bed, to tie the other end of the string to the +latch of the door, so that, when he opened it, this bundle would come +thundering down, and, as they said, give him something to be scared at. + +The man servant heard of the plan as he was lighting the lamps while +the boys were talking it over. He had a particular fancy for George and +told him. + +George said nothing, but, just before the time when he thought Tom +would go up to the bedroom to set the trap, went up himself, tied the +string to the latch of the door, having previously put a tin pan and +wash basin on the top of the bundle, then put the old cat in the +closet, and came down stairs. + +"When do you go to bed, George?" said Tom. + +"At the usual time," said George, quietly. Up ran Tom to prepare the +entertainment for his brother, and opened the door fearing +nothing--bang slam came great bundle, tin kettle and wash basin, and +out jumped the great black cat, howling and spitting at the racket. + +Tom forgot he was the big brave boy, and scampering, like lightning, +down stairs, he slipped, fell, and was brought in faint from fright, +and with a bleeding nose. + +His father inquired what had frightened him so. George told what he had +done. + +His father blamed him severely. + +"Blame us, father," said the other boys. + +"It is only the biter bitten," said Tom. "I am justly punished. I was +the oldest, and I only am really to blame. It is all right that I +suffered instead of poor George." + +Then their father gathered them around him, and told them stories of +the evil consequences he had known follow from being severely +frightened. + +The children all promised him never to commit such a fault again; and I +believe they kept their word. + +"But I am too long, and am growing prosy." + +"So you are," bounced the musket. + +"An ugly, impertinent contrivance, called a grate, was introduced in +lieu of us--black, dirty coal was burned instead of beautiful oak and +walnut, to warm the dear family. We were no longer of any use. Poetry +went away with the andirons, sentiment and refinement are obsolete, and +here we stand, the head and foot-stones, as it seems to me, at the +grave of the dear old-fashioned buried past. + +"I have done. Please, friend tea-kettle, favor us with your +experiences." + +"My story has nothing extraordinary in it," said the tea-kettle. "Like +most of my friends, I have had my ups and downs in the world. + +I had the honor of being made in the mother country. I am of the very +best of tin; what there is left of me is still pretty good. When that +little girl's parents were married, I first took my place in the +family, and contributed my part to the adornment of the kitchen closet. +I was kept as bright as silver, and was carried, twice a day, into the +parlor, and set upon some red-hot coals, where I used to sing my +morning and evening song to the happy family I served. + +Erelong, an ugly upstart of a grate took the place, as you know, of the +dear old andirons, and I was banished with them from my happy place. + +After this, I was rarely used. When any one was ill, and hot water was +wanted to be kept upstairs, I was called for. My nature is a kindly +one, so I sang away just as merrily as if I had not been somewhat +neglected. + +For this sweetness of temper I had my reward; for once my kind mistress +took me up, and said as she looked at me, "I do love this tea-kettle. +It discourses to me eloquent music. It tells the story of the early +days of my happy married life. It reminds me of the precious hours we +passed talking over so many pleasant things that we enjoyed, or that we +hoped for, while there it sat on the coals singing away a sort of sweet +cheerful accompaniment to our talk, as if it understood all we said. We +understand each other, you dear old thing." + +In my visits up stairs, I often heard amusing stories told by the nurse +to the poor invalid of whom she had the charge, when he was getting +better, and such an indulgence as to hear stories was allowed him. + +Once, when one of the boys--it was little Jonathan--was recovering from +an attack of scarlatina, and was very fidgety and uncomfortable, +nothing but some kind of story would keep him quiet in his bed. + +It so happened that the good nurse was a sort of family friend, and had +been a great deal in the house of Jonathan's cousin, a very roguish boy +who was always getting into some kind of scrape. + +Jonathan was never satisfied with hearing of Ned's frolics. One I will +relate. "At one time," said the nurse, "his father had been ill for +some days, and the order of the house was to be very quiet, as sleep +was essential to the recovery of the invalid. Now poor Ned was rather +in the habit of making a good deal of noise everywhere, but he loved +his father, and was very anxious not to disturb him. In the house, he +could not avoid making some little noise; so he passed much of his time +out of doors, wandering about alone when he could find no playfellow. + +At last, Ned remembered that he had some money left of his last +allowance for pocket money. This was a rare thing; usually Ned's money +burned in his pocket so that there was no comfort for him till it was +spent for something or other. Often--it must be told in Ned's +favor--his pocket money was given to some poor little boy or girl whom +he saw in the street, or who might happen to come to his father's house +to ask charity. Ned's father, though not rich, gave him pocket money, +that Ned might be able to give for himself if he had the inclination so +to do. Well, it so happened that neither charity, nor sugar-plums, nor +any other sweet thing had taken off Ned's money; he had as much as +seventy-five cents in his pocket, and, for the want of something better +to do, he went into a shop, called, in the country town in which they +lived, a 'Variety Shop.' + +'Variety Shop' was a just and proper name for such an assemblage of +every thing ever devised for the convenience and inconvenience of human +beings. There were caps after Parisian fashions for ladies, and there, +not far off, were horse nets and blankets. There were collars after the +newest patterns for gentlemen, and yokes for oxen. There were corsets +and Noah's arks, salt fish and sugar almonds, Chinese Joshes and Little +Samuels, accordeons and fish horns, almanacs, Joe Millers, and Bibles, +toothpicks and churns, silver thimbles and wash tubs, penknives, +tweezers and pickaxes, Adams and Eves in sugar, and Napoleons in brass. +In short, what was there not in that shop? + +Ned entered, and his eyes were dazzled with the show and the variety. +He had some money in his pocket, and spend it now he began to think he +must; the fire burned very hot in that little pocket of his, it must be +put out. Somewhere or other it must go, that troublesome seventy-five +cents. + +Now what did Ned want of toothpicks, or churns, or horse blankets, or +collars, or caps, or yokes, or thimbles, or tubs? A little Samuel his +aunt had given him. A Chinese Josh had a charm for him. He would look +at it. + +The shopman, who had once been a pedler, saw the state of things with +Ned, and resolved to relieve him of that burning trouble in his pocket, +if possible. The man was an honest fellow, and meant to give Ned his +money's worth. But an exchange was no robbery, and he was convinced +that it would be better for both sides if something in his Variety Shop +should go to Ned, and Ned's money should go into the money drawer. + +After Ned had looked some time at the Josh, and had half made up his +mind to take it, and had motioned away all the sugar monsters and +Noah's arks and bronze Napoleons and even the penknives, the shopman +said, "You have not looked at my fancy fowls, young gentleman; I should +like you would see them before you decide what you will have of my +variety this morning. That is quite a new article which I have just +received." + +Ned was not used to being called young gentleman. He was nothing but a +boy. Of course, he went to look at the new article, after this. Every +one but him and the shopman had left the shop. It was very quiet, and, +just as the shopman had finished speaking, a cock, who was in a crate +in the corner, set up the loudest crowing that Ned had ever heard, and +with a decidedly foreign tone. + +In a moment, Ned made up his mind that cock he would have. His father +had given him leave to keep fowls, and he already had a cock and three +hens of a fine breed. + +"What's the price of that fellow?" said he; "he's a real buster; he'll +wake us all up early enough in the morning." + +"A dollar, and cheap enough, too," said the shopman; "but, as it's you, +and I know your family, you shall have it for that." + +"I have only seventy-five cents," said Ned, "and shall have no more +till next week, when I have my allowance. If you will trust me, and are +willing to wait, I will take the rooster." + +"Suppose the critter was to die afore then," said the shopman, "would +you pay all the same?" + +"To be sure," said Ned; and the bargain was settled. + +The shopman advised him not to take the cock away before dark. Ned +agreed to wait till then. Just before his bed time, he went for +Chanticleer, and brought him as quietly as possible to the house. He +was afraid to put the new master of the poultry yard on the roost with +the old cock, lest they should fight in the morning; so he carried his +treasure softly up to his own bedroom in which was a large closet where +he had prepared a temporary roost. The cock, who was very tame, as he +had been always a pet, made no fuss, but went to sleep on his new +roost. So did Ned in his comfortable bed. + +Now it so happened that this large closet was between Ned's bedroom and +that of his father who, as we have before mentioned, had been seriously +ill, and who particularly demanded quiet. All the first part of the +night the sick man had been tossing all out, very uneasy, till about +three o'clock in the morning, when he fell into a sweet sleep. His +wife, weary with anxiety and watching, was trying to get a nap in the +easy chair, when, suddenly, close by them, as if in the very room, came +an indescribable screech, an unearthly, long, shrill cock-a-doodle-do +yell, such as only a fancy feathered biped can perform. + +The poor invalid screamed with horror, and his wife would have screamed +too, had she not thought first of her dear patient. + +In a moment, all the household had left their beds to learn the cause +of the horrid noise. Every one ran to the sick man's door, to listen if +it was from there that the frightful noise came. When the door was +opened, there stood all the terrified family, and, among the rest, poor +Ned with the culprit in his arms. + +"It's only my new fancy rooster in my closet," said he; "I never +thought of his crowing. Poor father and mother, I am so sorry! O, dear! +dear! what shall I do? I'll carry him right down, this minute; and I +never, dear father, will do such a thing again. Who'd a' thought of his +crowing so early? and then he's such an awful buster when he crows. Do +look at him." + +Ned's father was the best tempered man that ever lived, and he was +really getting well; so, after a minute or two, he burst into a fit of +laughter at the droll group assembled in his room, with poor Ned in the +midst of them in his night shirt. As soon as Ned heard his father +laugh, he scampered off on his bare feet, with his fancy rooster in his +arms, covering its head with his shirt to keep down the crowing. He +shut the creature up in the cellar, where it shouted and screeched till +morning." + +Some of my most amusing recollections are of the queer scenes and +conversations at which I was present, when my kind mistress lent me to +a farmer's wife. This woman was in the habit of depending, as far as +possible, upon her neighbors for any little conveniences she fancied, +and did not like to pay the cost of. Usually she managed to do without +such a nice tea-kettle as I really was; but, when she had company, she +regularly came in for me. This was her usual way of asking for me, +after saying good morning: "All your folks pretty well?" + +"Yes, we are all very well," was the answer usually. + +"Well, then, I spose you've nothin' agin my havin' your kittle this +arternoon. I expect Deacon Fish and his wife, and tew darters to an +arely tea; and I'm kind o' used to that ere kittle o' yourn, and can't +somehow git along without it; and I han't yet got none of my own, you +see." + +She, of course, always had me to entertain her company; she knew she +should get me; and, as she went away, she always said something about +how pleasant and right it was to be neighborly. + +After a few years, some one of her relations gave her a nice +tea-kettle. She brought it in to show to my mistress. I was hissing +away at the time for breakfast, which was hardly over when she entered. +After she had shown her kettle to every one, and satisfied herself that +it would bear a comparison with me, she said,-- + +"Now, at last, I've got a kittle o' my own; and I'll never borry nor +lend agin as long as I live in this here vale o' tears." + +Not long after this, a careless girl left my rival on the fire till the +bottom was burned through, and the kettle was ruined. + +The next time the good woman came, her speech ran somewhat thus; "I +spose you was to meetin' last Sabbath." + +"Yes." + +"Well, if you was, I guess you heerd how the minister told us to be +good to one another--to be neighborly, and help folks along. Now I +guess as how I told you once that I shouldn't neither borry nor lend. +Now I ain't tew old to larn and mend my ways, and I mean to deu as the +parson says, and lend and borry all the days of my life; so maybe +you'll lend me that ere kittle." + +But I must tell you about one of these visits I made to this peculiar +neighbor. When she came in for me that day, she looked full of business +and earnestness, and, before she was fairly seated, she began to tell +her errand. + +"I have come," she said, "to invite you all to a rag bee, every one on +ye--men folks and all, because they can cut and wind and be agreeable, +and hand round cups and sarcers and things to eat, if they can't deu +nothin' else; so now you must all come and bring your thimbles and +scissors and big needles, and, ef you've no objections, I'll jest take +the tea-kittle now, as I'm goin' straight home." + +My mistress, who was the kindest person that ever lived, promised to go +to the rag party. She wished to please and aid this selfish woman, for +she was her nearest neighbor." + +"Pray, dear mother, tell us what a rag bee is," said Harry. + +"At the time when our tea-kettle was in its prime, we had no woollen or +cotton factories in this country. Our carpets all came from Europe, +from England most of them, and poor people could not afford to buy +them. Families were in the habit of carefully saving all their woollen +pieces, all their old woollen clothes; not a scrap was lost. + +When a large quantity of these old woollen pieces was collected, it was +a custom in the country to invite all the neighbors to come in, and aid +the family in cutting these fragments up into narrow strips, about an +eighth of an inch wide, and then sewing the strips together, and +winding them up into large balls. This was used for what the weavers +call the warp or the filling of the carpet. The woof was made of yarn, +spun usually in the house from wool taken from the backs of their own +sheep, and colored with a dye made from the roots of the barberry +bushes, or the poke weed, with the aid of a little foreign indigo, or +perhaps logwood. A sufficient variety of colors could be manufactured +to produce a very decent-looking carpet. + +The weaving of this homemade carpet was done also in the neighborhood. +There were always looms enough to weave, for a moderate price, all the +carpets required in the place. At that time, there was usually a carpet +only in what was called the sitting room, or, as the country people +called it, "the settin room." The rest of the house had bare floors; +perhaps, in the houses of the richest of the country people, a bit of +carpet by the bed side. + +But I must tell you what else the tea-kettle said. "I went, or rather +was carried," said she, "to the rag party. The good lady who borrowed +me, I must say for her, did brighten me up famously. "There," said she, +as she gave me the last touch with her rubbing cloth, "ef it ain't as +bright as our Lijah's cheeks a Sabberday mornins!" + +The country hour for dining was twelve o'clock, and the rag party was +invited to come at two. Accordingly, all the women of the place with +whom Mrs. Nutter had any acquaintance that did or did not authorize an +invitation, were assembled in her best parlor, to take part in the rag +bee. + +A nice-looking, sensible set of folks they were, and, if I could +remember all they said, I am sure you would think it very amusing. One +of the subjects that I now think of was introduced by a pair of very +old breeches. + +"Where," said Mrs. White, "did you get such a pair of horrid, old, +scrimpy, frightful things as them? Why, the knees are patched with +blue, and the seats with red, and they are so very small, and yet so +long--who did they belong to?" + +Mrs. Nutter hesitated for a moment; at last, she seemed to muster +courage, and to be determined to speak the whole truth. + +"Well," said she, "ef I must tell the treuth, them are breeches come +off of a scarecrow. It stands to reason that none of us could ever have +worn 'em. This here's the way I got 'em. My husband bought Mr. Crane's +piece that jined on to ourn, and I made him throw in the scarecrow, +cause I meant to have a rag party; and I reckon that you'll get a good +many strips out on 'em, though they be so patched like." + +"I wonder," said one of the party, a fine, rosy, jolly-looking girl, "I +wonder if these are not the ones which they say old Scrimp the miser +changed with a scarecrow; and, after the exchange, old Scrimp looked so +smart that people thought he was going to be married." + +"Did you ever see any one so lean favored as he is?" asked one of the +company. "Folks say he's so thin that he turns in his hat, but that ere +don't seem likely." + +Another of the company now looked up from her work, showing, at the +same time, the nice strips she had been cutting. "I can't believe," +said she, "all the stories they tell of old Scrimp's miserly ways. They +say that he almost lives upon samples." + +"Lives upon samples? What does that mean? I never heard of such a +thing. What kind of victuals is samples?" + +"Why, Lois Ward, don't you know what a sample is? Why, he goes to a +shop, and he asks for samples of all the different kinds of sugar, and +so of tea and coffee, and he makes these last a great while, and then +he goes to another, and does the same thing; and, when he thinks they +know his tricks, he walks clear over to another town after samples; and +so he lives upon almost nothing. They say that he keeps all his money +in an old boot hanging up in his cellar, because he thinks no robber +would think to look in an old boot after money." + +"They tell me," said another, "that he kills cats for their skins, and +that he goes out o' nights with a long pole to kill skunks, and roasts +them to get their grease, because skunk's grease is mighty powerful for +men and beasts sometimes, and sells for a good deal, 'cause there ain't +many folks willing to undertake the nasty varmints." + +"Do you know what Beckey Cross said about him? She said that he was +nothing but skin and grief, and that he never made any shadow. But poor +Scrimp, though he is such a miser, has a heart, and can do a very kind +thing." + +"How did you find out that, Miss Dolly?" said the rosy-cheeked girl. +"Did he ever ask you to take care of his heart? if such a thing could +be found. Perhaps it is your fault that poor Scrimp is nothing but skin +and grief." + +Miss Dolly drew herself up, and looked in a very dignified manner at +the young village belle. "I never kept company with Mr. Scrimp, and +never should wish to with such a thread paper of a man as him; but I +stick to it, he has a heart, and I'll tell you how I diskivered it. You +know poor Mrs. Fowler, whose house is just out of the town, near two +miles from old Scrimp's. I was there to see the poor woman the other +day. You know her husband was killed last winter by the falling of a +tree before the woodcutters thought it was ready to fall. You know she +has one little boy, who she sets every thing by, and they are pretty +poor, though the parish does help them. + +I sat with her some time, and heard all her troubles and misfortings. +At last, she spoke of all the kind things she'd had done for her by +different people; among others, she told me of a kind act of old +Scrimp's. + +"One day," says she, "my little boy, only four years old, did not, as +usual, come in at supper time. I went out to look for him in the wood +where he goes to play; but he was not there. Night came on, and no +Willie. I was half crazy with fear. I was at my wits' ends. I had +forbidden him to go to the village, but I concluded he had disobeyed +me; and so, at last, I sot out in that direction, though I'm so lame I +can't walk fast. + +Well, she said she hadn't gone far before she met Mr. Scrimp leading +her little boy home. He had found the child, after dark, crying in the +street. He knew who was his mother, and where she lived, and he took +hold of the little fellow's hand, carried him to the bakers, bought him +a roll for supper, and was leading him home to his mother. He insisted +upon the poor widow's taking his arm, and he went back with her to her +cottage, and left a quarter of a dollar on her table when he went away." + +"Now," said Miss Dolly, as she finished, "hain't Mr. Scrimp got a +heart? and, as for his living on samples, I don't believe a word of +such a ridiculous story. You see he's got a kind of habit o' saving, +and he's so thin he don't want much, and he's nobody to spend for; but +I tell you he has got a heart, and a good one, when you come at it." + +This was a specimen of the conversations at the rag parties. At five +o'clock in the afternoon, the tea table was spread, and such loads of +bread and butter, cake, cheese, and what they called sweet sarse and +apple trade you never saw. The farmers and their sons, as many as could +be spared from work, put on their best coats, and helped hand about the +tea and good things. At nine exactly, they all went home, leaving many +large balls, nicely sewed, of filling for the intended new carpet. + +Early in the morning of the next day, I was brightened up again, and +sent home, when my dear mistress saw me put up on a high shelf among +valuable things not often used, but always well cared for. As I said +before, she seemed really to love me, and often said, as she looked at +me, "I hope no harm will come to, my precious old tea-kettle." + +Now I come to the painful part of my story, of which, even now, I hate +to think. With all this love and consideration for me, my mistress made +one fatal mistake. She allowed those same boys, who used the curling +tongs to get a bone out of the pig's throat, to take me with them when +they went into the woods to pass a day and night, and have a frolic, as +they called it. + +The boys made a huge fire, and put me on it, and I boiled some water +for them, and did my duty well. But, after they had satisfied their +thirst with the good tea I had enabled them to make, they forgot your +humble servant, and left me on the coals. + +The water all evaporated, and I was left to the fury of the fire; my +pleasant song turned into a groan, a scream, in fact; my nose could not +stand the fire; it dropped into the ashes; and here I am, the wreck of +what I was, with this ghastly hole in me which you see. + +To be sure, the boys were sorry enough for their carelessness; but that +did not mend my nose. I am kept here by my mistress for the same reason +that she keeps the old pitcher and other useless things, as memorials +of happy days past and gone." + +The tea-kettle was silent. Without any preface, the spinning wheel +began to whirl and whiz, and whiz and whirl, and grumble and rumble, +and buzz and buzz, and made altogether such a sleepy sound, as she told +her story, which was, I guess, what the sailors call a long yarn, that +she put me into such a sound sleep, that I could no longer hear any +thing distinctly, and lost her story altogether." + +"But, dear mother," said Frank, "I hope you woke up so as to hear the +history of the old cloak, and the comical coat, and the wig." + +"I will see," she answered, "what more I can remember of those dreamy +times which I passed in my dear mother's attic, the palace of my early +days." + +One very rainy Sunday, the noise of the children was too much for the +older and graver part of the family, who wished to read and be quiet; +and my mother advised me to take my book, and go up to my parlor. + +I always liked to be there, and to be by myself, with only the society +of my friend the cat who was perfectly docile and obedient to me. I +took Pilgrim's Progress, my favorite book, and was soon very +comfortably seated in my great old-fashioned arm chair. Puss was by my +side in the chair, for there was plenty of room for us both. + +O, that Puss, a famous cat she was. She was of a beautiful Maltese +blue, with a very nice white handkerchief on her breast, a white ring +for a necklace, and four white feet. She once met with an adventure +worth relating. + +A young harum scarum Italian was a friend of my mother's, and was often +at our house. A young lady, to whom he was much devoted, had a fancy +for cats. He resolved, at the Christmas season, to gratify this taste +of hers, as well as his own love of all sorts of vagaries. + +Christmas fell on Monday. On that morning, the young lady received an +elegant package which contained, wrapped up in seven papers, carefully +sealed, a picture of a great black cat, with fiery eyes, long whiskers, +and a flaming red tongue, The young lady was a good deal astonished, +you may believe. + +The next morning, she found in her breakfast cup the prettiest little +sugar cat you can imagine. She asked all the family who had played her +the trick, but no one knew. + +On Wednesday morning, when the house-maid opened the window to sweep +the drawing room, as she always did at seven o'clock, a small, soft +bundle came flying in at the window, and fell in the middle of the +floor. The bundle was directed to Miss Mary, and contained a large rag +cat, with a painted face, and with little bunches gathered up for nose +and ears. + +Inquiries were in vain. No one had seen the daring hand that tossed the +rag pussy into the window. The lady's suspicions did not fall upon the +Italian, because he had made her think that he was out of town. + +Early on Thursday morning, came a great double knock and ring at the +house door. So loud and long was the noise that the servant, a little, +scary old man, thought the house was coming down. With trembling hand, +he opened the door, when a black man, six feet high, delivered a huge +box. The two men together had to take it in, it was so clumsy, though +the weight was not much. In answer to the old man's inquiries as to who +sent it, &c., the black only pointed to his mouth and ears, +significantly, to intimate that he was deaf and dumb. On the top of the +box was marked in red chalk "Miss Mary--." + +As soon as she came down, she was led to the box. It was opened with +some difficulty. Inside was a quantity of cotton wool, and scattered +about in the wool were little packages of soft paper, and inside of +each was a little china cat. When all were taken out, the young lady +found herself the possessor of a white china cat with gold ears and +gold collar, and five little china kittens of various colors. + +It did no good asking questions, and the poor young lady resigned +herself to her fate. + +The part of the house in which Miss Mary slept was a sort of wing. The +only room there with a chimney was hers. The roof communicated with a +shed, so that it was not difficult for a good climber to get at the +chimney. + +On Friday morning, Miss Mary was awakened by a rattling in the chimney +corner where, to her amazement, was a "Noah's ark" dangling by a +string. She took hold of it, and drew it out of the chimney. + +"This must be meant for one of the little children," thought she. But +no; the ark bore her name. On opening it, she discovered that it was a +collection made from many arks, a cat having been culled from each. So +there were cats of many sizes, and all painted as red as they could be. +They made a long procession of red cats. + +On Saturday morning, the young lady awoke very early, but found nothing +in her chimney corner. Although the weather was very cold, she went +out, as was her custom, to walk in the garden before breakfast. There +was a high wall on the side of the garden next the street. She walked +down by the side of this wall towards a little arbor at the bottom of +the garden. Just as she reached the arbor, she was startled by a squeak +from the top of the wall, and something fell just at her feet. Taking +the thing up, she perceived that it was a toy cat with a mewing +arrangement underneath. It had been carefully wrapped up, but the paper +was broken in the attempt to make it mew at the top of the wall. The +lady burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter; but, in answer to +her laugh, came a dismal mewing from the other side of the wall; and, +as she walked towards the house, at every few steps, a yowling toy cat +jumped over, and fell at her feet. + +The next day was Sunday, and the lady said, "I shall be left in peace +to-day, I think all the different kinds of cats must be exhausted." + +On going to her writing table, after breakfast, she found a little +package lying on some note paper. It was very heavy, and was directed +to her in a hand she did not recognize. It proved to be a most +beautiful Paris bronze cat paper weight. The cat had her paw on a bird, +and looked so life-like that it was almost painful to see her. + +"I am now in a state," said Miss Mary, "to arrange a cat museum." + +So she took all the cats, and placed them, in the order of their +appearance, in a recess on one side of the room. There were picture +cat, rag cat, China cats, ark cats, yowling cats, bronze cat. + +The next morning was New Year's Day. The young lady passed it in quiet. +No cats invaded her repose. She began to think the eruption of cats was +beginning to subside. Vain hope! Her tormentor was busy enough. + +On Sunday evening, he arrived at our house in the country. He came to +spend the night. + +"My dear E.," said he to me, "you must lend me a cat. I have sent Miss +Mary--every kind of cat except a live one, and now I must send that +too. I am going to make you dress up your favorite blue kitten." + +At first, I refused; but, on his promise that the kitten should be +treated with the greatest care and consideration, I agreed. I made her +a gown of yellow satin coming down over her legs. The tail went through +the gown and helped to keep it on. That tail was the gaudiest part of +all, being wound with gold lace, and bearing at the tip a gay, +flourishing bow. I made for pussy beautiful pettiloons of dark-red +glazed cambric, and shod her with black morocco boots. Her cap was made +of paste-board, tall and peaked, trimmed with gay ribbons, and +surmounted by a cock's feather. A coral necklace with a locket was put +about her neck; and then poor pussy was complete, and shone in her +whole brilliancy Her patience was a shining example. Not a mew nor a +growl at all the often-repeated fittings and tryings on. She purred +kindly all the time. + +Her carriage was a bandbox, big enough to avoid crushing the cap and +tail, with a hole cut in the cover for ventilation; and Miss Pussy set +off for town. + +"A whole day gone, and no cat!" exclaimed Miss Mary--, as the family +rose from tea. "The joke is over now, whatever it was." + +No sooner were the words spoken than a rousing knock and ring startled +the silence, and a bandbox appeared covered with brilliant red letters +spelling, "This side up with care," and several other phrases with the +same meaning. "Open carefully" stood prominent among them. The +direction was, of course, to Miss Mary. With careful hand, she raised +the lid, when the cat, tired of long confinement, bewildered by the +sudden light, and scared by the roars of laughter that greeted her, +leapt from the box, and sped around the room like lightning. The dress +held on well, while she galloped about like a gayly caparisoned circus +pony. At last, she took a leap and fell into the midst of her +predecessors. Rag cats, China cats, Noah's cats, yowling cats were +upset and dashed to pieces. + +At this moment, the author of all the nonsense poked his head into the +door. "My dear Miss Mary, I trust I have, at last, satisfied your taste +for cats. I hope you like your New Year's gifts." + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Who Spoke Next, by Eliza Lee Follen + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHO SPOKE NEXT *** + +***** This file should be named 4033.txt or 4033.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/3/4033/ + +Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al Haines. + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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