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diff --git a/40188-0.txt b/40188-0.txt index 34da987..981a050 100644 --- a/40188-0.txt +++ b/40188-0.txt @@ -1,26 +1,4 @@ -Project Gutenberg's Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue., by William Kenrick - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue. - Being the Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his NYKY. - -Author: William Kenrick - -Editor: Thomas J. Campbell - -Release Date: July 10, 2012 [EBook #40188] - -Language: English - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 40188 *** Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at @@ -1404,365 +1382,4 @@ BY THE AUTHOR. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue. - Being the Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his NYKY. - -Author: William Kenrick - -Editor: Thomas J. Campbell - -Release Date: July 10, 2012 [EBook #40188] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - - A - LETTER - TO - DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - FROM - WILLIAM KENRICK, LL.D. - - _Meo deo irato._ TER. PHOR. - - THE THIRD EDITION. - - [Illustration] - - LONDON: - PRINTED FOR J. WHEBLE, PATER-NOSTER-ROW. - MDCCLXXII. - - - - - -To DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - - - SIR, - - The author of the following Eclogue, having requested my - assistance to introduce it to the world; it was with more - indignation than surprize I was informed of your having used your - extensive influence over the press to prevent its being advertised - in the News-papers. How are you, Sir, concerned in the Lamentation - of _Roscius_ for his _Nyky_? Does your modesty think no man - entitled to the appellation of Roscius but yourself? Does Nyky - resemble any nick-named favourite of yours? Or does it follow, - that if you have cherished an unworthy favourite, you must bear - too near a resemblance to him? _Qui capit ille facit_; beware of - self-accusation, where others bring no charge! Or, granting you - right in these particulars, by what right or privilege do you, - Sir, set up for a licenser of the press? That you have long - successfully usurped that privilege, to swell both your fame and - fortune, is well known. Not the puffs of the quacks of Bayswater - and Chelsea are so numerous and notorious: but by what authority - do you take upon you to shut up the general channel, in which - writers usher their performances to the public? If they attack - either your talents or your character, _in utrumque paratus_, you - are armed to defend yourself. You have, besides your ingenuous - countenance and conscious innocence; _Nil conscire sibi, nulla - pallescere culpa_; Besides this brazen bulwark, I say, you have a - ready pen and a long purse. The press is open to the one, and the - bar is ever ready to open with the other. For a poor author, not a - printer will publish a paragraph, not a pleader will utter a - quibble. You have then every advantage in the contest: It is - needless, therefore, to endeavour to intimidate your antagonists - by countenancing your retainers to threaten their lives! These - intimidations, let me tell you Sir, have an ugly, suspicious look. - They are besides needless; the _genus irritabile vatum_ want no - such personal provocations; Heaven knows, the life of a - play-wright, like that of a spider, is in a state of the most - slender dependency. It is well for my rhiming friend that his - hangs not on so slight a thread. He thinks, nevertheless, that he - has reason to complain, as well as the publick, of your having - long preferred the flimzy, translated, patch'd-up and mis-altered - pieces of your favourite compilers, to the arduous attempts at - originality of writers, who have no personal interest with the - manager. In particular, he thinks the two pieces, you are - projecting to get up next winter, for the emolument of your - favorite in disgrace, or to reimburse yourself the money, you may - have advanced him, might, for the present at least, be laid aside. - - But you will ask me, perhaps, in turn, Sir, what right I have to - interfere with the business of other people, or with yours? I will - answer you. It is because I think your business, as patentee of a - theatre-royal, is not so entirely yours, but that the publick also - have some concern in it. You, Sir, indeed have long behaved as if - you thought the town itself a purchased appurtenance to the - theatre; but, tho' the scenes and machines are yours; nay, tho' - you have even found means to make comedians and poets your - property; it should be with more caution than you practise, that - you extend your various arts to make so scandalous a property of - the publick. - - Again I answer, it is because I have some regard for my friend, - and as much for myself, whom you have treated as ill perhaps as - you have done any other writer; while under your auspices, some of - the persons stigmatised by the satirist, have frequently combined - to do me the most essential injury. But _nemo me impune lacessit_. - Not that I mean now to enter into particulars which may be thought - to relate too much to myself and too little to the publick. When I - shall have leisure to draw a faithful portraiture of Mr. Garrick, - not only from his behaviour to me in particular, but from his - conduct towards poets, players and the town in general, I doubt - not to convince the most partial of his admirers that he hath - accumulated a fortune, as manager, by the meanest and most - meretricious devices, and that the theatrical props, which have - long supported his exalted reputation, as an actor, have been - raised on the ruins of the English stage. - - In the mean time, I leave you to amuse yourself with the following - jeu d'esprit of my friend; hoping, tho' it be a severe correction - for the errours of your past favouritism, it may prove a salutary - guide to you for the future. With regard to its publication I hope - also to stand excused with the reader for thus interposing to - defeat the success of those arts, which you so unfairly practise - to prevent, from reaching the public eye, whatever is disagreeable - to your own. - - I am, Sir, - Yours, &c. - W. K. - - - - - LOVE in the SUDS; - A - TOWN ECLOGUE. - BEING THE - LAMENTATION of ROSCIUS - FOR THE - LOSS of his NYKY. - - _Dixin' ego vobis, in hôc esse Atticam elegantiam?_ TER. - - _O me inselicem!---- - ----quæ laudâram quantum luctus habuerint!_ - - PHÆD. - - With ANNOTATIONS by the EDITOR; - - AND AN - APPENDIX, - CONTAINING - QUERIES AND ANSWERS - - Relative to the Personal Satisfaction, pretended to have been required - of the Author of the above Eclogue, by the lamentable ROSCIUS. - - - - -LOVE in the SUDS; - -A - -TOWN ECLOGUE. - - - Whither away, now, GEORGE[1], into the city, - And to the village, must thou bear my ditty. - Seek NYKY out, while I in verse complain, - And court the Muse to call him back again. - Boeotian Nymphs, my favorite verse inspire; - As erst ye NYKY taught to strike the lyre. - For he like PHOEBUS' self can touch the string, - And opera-songs compose--like any thing! - What shall I do, now NYKY's fled away? - For who like him can either sing or say? - - -IMITATIONS. - - Quo te, Moeri, pedes; an quò via ducit in urbem? - Nymphæ, noster amor, Libethrides, nunc mihi carmen, - Quale meo Codro, concedite; proxima Phoebi - Versibus ille facit.---- - Quid facerem? - - -NOTES. - -[1] The brother and constant companion of ROSCIUS; the Mercury of our -theatrical Jupiter, whom he dispatches with his divine commands to -mortal poets and miserable actors. - - For me, alas! who well compos'd the song - When lovely PEGGY[2] liv'd, and I was young; - By age impair'd, my piping days are done, - My memory fails, and ev'n my voice is gone. - My feeble notes I yet must strive to raise; - Boeotian Muses! aid my feeble lays: - A little louder, and yet louder still, - Aid me to raise my failing voice at will; - Aid me as loud as Hercules did bawl, - For Hylas lost, lost NYKY back to call; - While London town, and all its suburbs round - In echoes, NYKY, NYKY, back resound. - - -IMITATIONS. - - ---- ---- Sæpe ego longos - Cantando puerum memini me condere soles - Nunc oblita mihi tot carmina: vox quoque Moerim - Jam fugit ipsa---- - Omnia fert ætas, animum quoque. - ---- Musæ paulò majora canamus. - ---- Hylan nautæ quo fonte relictum - Clamassent; ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret. - - -NOTES. - -[2] PEGGY WOFFINGTON, on whom our ROSCIUS, then her inamorato, made a -famous song, beginning with the following stanza: - - _Once more I'll tune the vocal shell, - To hills and dales my passion tell, - A flame which time can never quell, - That burns for thee, my Peggy._ - - - Whom fliest thou, frantic youth, and whence thy fear? - Blest had there never been a grenadier! - Unhappy NYKY, by what frenzy seiz'd, - Couldst thou with such a monstrous thing be pleas'd? - What, tho' thyself a loving horse-marine,[3] - A common foot-soldier's a thing obscene. - Not fabled Nymphs, by spleen turn'd into cows, - Bellow'd to nasty bulls their amorous vows; - Tho' turn'd their loving horns upon each other, - Butting in play, as brother might with brother. - Unhappy NYKY, whither dost thou stray, - Lost to thy friends, o'er hills and far away? - - -IMITATIONS. - - Quem fugis? Ah demens!---- - Et fortunatam, si nunquam armenta fuissent, - Pasiphaën nivei solatur amore juvenci. - Oh, virgo infelix, quæ te dementia cepit? - Proetides implêrunt falsis mugitibus agros: - At non tum turpes pecudum tamen ulla secuta est - Concubitus: quamvis collo timuisset aratrum, - Et sæpe in levi quæsisset cornua fronte. - Ah, virgo infelix, tu nunc in montibus erras! - - -NOTES. - - Time, however, effects strange things, as the poet says, and many - have been the passions which have since agitated, and have been - also quelled in the bosom of ROSCIUS. - -[3] NYKY is a half-pay officer of marines. A horse-marine is a kind -of _meretricious_ HOBBY-HORSE, _modò vir modò fæmina_. - - Yet to Euryalus as Nisus true, - So shall thy ROSCIUS, NYKY, prove to you; - Whether by impulse mov'd, itself divine, - Or so I'm bound to call it, as it's mine, - A mighty feat presents itself to view, - Which for our mutual gain I yet will do. - Mean-time do thou beware, while I bemoan, - How far thou trustest seas or lands unknown. - To Tyber's stream, or to the banks of Po, - Safe in thy love, safe in thy virtue, go; - Yet even there with caution be thou kind, - And look out sharp and frequently behind. - But ah, beware, nor trust, tho' native Mud,[4] - The banks of Liffy, or of Shannon's flood; - Or there, if driv'n by fate, be hush'd thy strain? - Nor of thy wayward lot, nor mine complain. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Nisus ait, "Diine hunc ardorem mentibus addunt - Euryale? An sua cuique deus sit dira Cupido? - Aut pugnam, aut aliquid jamdudum invadere magnum - Mens agitat mihi---- - Hàc iter est; tu ne qua manus se attollere nobis - A tergo possit, custodi et consule longè." - - -NOTES. - -[4] NYKY it seems was born and bred in Ireland; where his christian -name was _John_. How he came by the Jewish appellation of _Isaac_ is -not generally known. Whether it was bestowed upon him for his -resemblance to the chosen _people_, or given him by poetical licence, -may possibly be a matter of disquisition for future scholiasts. - - Lest female Bacchanals, when flush'd with wine, - Serve thee, like Orpheus, for thy song divine; - Nay back return, lest my too plaintive verse - Entail on me the same Orphean curse; - Lest Venus' train of Drury and the Strand - Attack my house by water and by land; - Hot with their midnight orgies, madly tear - My little limbs, and throw them here and there; - Casting, enrag'd at my provoking theme, - Th' inditing brain into the neighbouring stream: - When, as my skull shall float the tide along, - Thy much-lov'd name, the burthen of my song, - Shall still be stutter'd, later than my breath; - NYKY---NYK----NY----till stopt my tongue in death: - Through London-bridge shall Wapping NYKY roar, - And NYK be even heard to Hampton's shore.[5] - - -IMITATIONS. - - ---- ---- Spreto Ciconum quo munere matres - Inter sacra deûm, nocturnique orgia Bacchi, - Discerptum latos juvenem sparsêre per agros. - Tum quoque marmoreâ caput à cervice revulsum, - Gurgite cum medio portans Oeagrius Hebrus - Volveret, Eurydicen vox ipsa et frigida lingua - Ah miseram Eurydicen anima fugiente, vocabat: - Eurydicen toto referebant flumine ripæ! - - -NOTES. - -[5] The celebrated villa of ROSCIUS. - - On Hebrus' banks so tuneful Orpheus died; - His limbs the fields receiv'd, his head the tide. - Nor more its stream renown'd than Thames in fame[6]: - Here Catherine Hayes serv'd Goodman Hayes the same. - Here on this spot, where now th' Adelphi stands, - Was thrown her husband's noddle from her hands; - His scatter'd limbs left quiv'ring on the shore; - As Thracian wives had play'd their part before. - Oh, horrour, horrour! NYKY back return; - Nor more for grenadiers imprudent burn. - - And yet, ah why should NYKY thus be blam'd? - Of manly love ah! why are men asham'd? - A new red coat, fierce cock and killing air - Will captivate the most obdurate fair; - What wonder then if NYKY's tender heart - At such a sight should feel a lover's smart: - No wonder love, that in itself is blind, - Should no distinction in the difference find; - No wonder love should NYKY thus enthrall; - Almighty love, at times, subdues us all; - While, vulgar prejudices soar'd above, - NYK gave up all the world,--well lost for love. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Omnia vincit amor et nos cedamus amori. - - -NOTES. - -[6] See the Tyburn Chronicle and Newgate lamentations _pro tempore_; -particularly that famous ballad, entitled A merry song about murder, -beginning with, "In Tyburn-road there liv'd a man," &c. - - Yet slight the cause of NYKY's late mishap; - NYK but mistook the colour of the cap: - A common errour, frequent in the Park, - Where love is apt to stumble in the dark. - Why rais'd the haughty female head so high, - With the tall caps of grenadiers to vie? - Why does it like tremendous figure make, - To subject purblind lovers to mistake?[7] - Or rather why, in these enlighten'd times, - Should rigid Nature call such errours crimes? - "Thou Nature art my goddess," saith the play; - But even Shakespeare's text hath had its day. - More gentle custom no such rigour knows; - And custom into second nature grows. - Let vulgar passions move the vulgar mind, - Superior souls feel motives more refin'd: - Among the low-bred English slow advance - Th' Italian _gusto_ and _bon ton_ of France. - Strange to the classic lore of Greece and Rome, - And rudely nurs'd in ignorance at home, - The tasteless herd e'en construe into sin, - That poets should in metaphor lie in, - While I, their best man-midwife, must be sham'd, - Whene'er the Fashionable Lover's nam'd. - - -NOTES. - -[7] NYKY is near sighted. - - But Candour's veil love's foibles still should cover - And NYK be stil'd a FASHIONABLE LOVER.[8] - To polish'd travellers is only known - That taste which makes the ancient arts our own; - Which shares with Rome in every gem antique; - Which blends the modern with the ancient Greek; - Improves on both, and greatly soars above, - In pure philanthropy, Platonic love; - That love which burns with undistinguish'd rage, - And spares in fondness neither sex nor age? - Ah! therefore why in these enlighten'd times - Sould rigid Nature call such errours crimes? - Must not the taste of Attic wits be nice? - Can antient virtue be a modern vice? - The Mantuan bard, or else his scholiast lies,[9] - Virgil the chaste, nay Socrates the wise. - - -NOTES. - -[8] - - "_If any author of prolific brains - In this good company feels labour-pains; - If any gentle poet big with rhyme - Has run his reckoning out and gone his time: - Know such that at our hospital of muses - He may lie-in in private if he chuses; - We've single lodgings there for secret sinners - With good encouragement for your beginners._" - - Prologue to the FASHIONABLE LOVER. - -It is indeed now plain enough that ROSCIUS has given great -encouragement to _secret sinners_; but I would advise none of our -poets to lie in again in private; but to remember the fate of a late -tragedy and farce. Poor _Clementina_, and the lady _An hour before -marriage_, both privately lay-in and miscarried. - -[9] The Jesuit Ruæus begins the argument of Virgil's second Eclogue -with the following explicit declaration, _Amabat Virgilius puerum_. - - The gay Petronius, sophists, wits and bards, - Of old, bestow'd on youth their soft regards; - In modish dalliance pass'd their harmless time - Ev'n modish now in soft Italia's clime. - Could lightenings ever issue from above - To blast poor men for such a crime as love; - When the lewd daughters of incestuous Lot - Were both with child by their own father got? - Poor goody Lot indeed might be in fault, - And justly turn'd to monumental salt: - The matrimonial emblem of a wife: - Needs must be salt a dish to keep for life! - A fable Sodom's fate: in Heav'n above - All is made up of harmony and love; - That such its vengeance I believe not, I; - Historians err and Hebrew Jews will lie. - Sing then, my Muse, a more engaging strain - To lure my NYKY back to Drury-lane. - Tell him the fancied danger all is o'er; - Home he may come and love as heretofore. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin. - ---- Deos didici securum agere ævum - Nec si quid miri faciat natura, deos id - Tristes ex alto coeli demittere tecto. - ---- ---- Credat Judæus Apella, - Non ego. ---- - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - - In vain the vulgar shall for vengeance call, - Or move the justices at Hickes's-hall; - In vain grand juries shall be urg'd by law - In his indictment not to leave a flaw. - Ev'n at the bar should NYKY stand arraign'd, - No verdict 'gainst him should be there obtain'd; - Nay, by the laws and customs of the land, - Tho' trembling NYKY should convicted stand, - The candid jury shall be mov'd t'acquit - A gentleman, an author, and a wit: - For liberal minds with candour ever see - The milder failings of humanity! - Smooth-spoken MANSFIELD,[10] with his vacant face, - In softening accents first shall ope his case; - Which to defend, the want of Merlin's cunning - Shall be supplied by that of Grimbald DUNNING.[11] - E'en at th' Old-Bailey they for NYK shall plead; - Where would they not, if they were largely fee'd? - Were NYKY summon'd to the bar below, - Well-fee'd these faithful barristers would go; - - -NOTES. - -[10] Not the Judge of that name; but the barrister, who, is by no -means a judge---- of any thing. - -[11] See King Arthur, lately revived at Drury-lane Theatre, and -attend the pleadings in our courts of law and equity at Westminster, -Guildhall, and Lincoln's-inn. - - Their tale to Minos would they glibly tell; - Minos the MANSFIELD, or Chief Judge, of Hell.[12] - Nor need my NYKY fear a London jury - Will e'er be influenced with a female fury. - Can they who let a prov'd assassin 'scape - Hang up poor NYKY for a friendly rape? - If in the dark to stab, be thought no crime, - What may'nt be hop'd from jurymen in time? - Soon Southern modes, no doubt, they'll reconcile - With the plain manners of our Northern isle; - And e'en new-married citizens be brought - To reckon S----y a venial fault: - When if GEORGE BELLAS,[13] cruel and unkind, - Blast not their loves, with rude tempestuous wind, - In common-council Corydon may burn, - And Corydons for Corydon in turn, - Till every alderman about the chair - Find his Alexis in a new lord-mayor. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ex illo Corydon, Corydon est tempore nobis. - - -NOTES. - -[12] Minos is reported by the poets to have been raised to this high -office for his impartiality in the administration of Justice here on -earth: what a pity that office is not soon to become vacant; as it -might be most luckily filled by as worthy a successor. - -[13] A boisterous mock-patriot, supposed to be descended from Eolus -and Amphitrite, being famous for his mackarel expeditions, his musical -knowledge of the fundamental base and public performances on the -bassoon. - - Sing then, O Muse, a more pathetic strain, - To lure my gentle NYKY back again. - For, sure as Thames resembles Tyber's tide, - Shall Macaronis soon possess Cheapside; - As petty-jury-men in judgment sit, - And ev'ry Corydon, with NYK, acquit. - Yes by this knife, this useful[14] knife, I swear, - Which for my lov'd B----TTI's sake I wear; - This knife, whose haft, at Stratford Jubilee, - For ever left its parent mulberry tree; - For thence it grew, tho', tipt with steel so fine, - It now will serve to stab with, or to dine; - That tree, which late on Avon's border grew; - By Shakespeare planted; Warwick lads say true; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - All' ek toi ereô, kai epi megan horkon omoumai, - Nai ma tode skêptron, to men oupote phylla kai ozous - Physei, epeidê prôta tomên en oressi leloipen, - Oud' anathêlêsei. - - HOM. - - Ut sceptrum hoc (sceptrum dextrâ nam fortè gerebat) - Nunquam fronde levi fundet virgulta nec umbras; - Cùm semel in sylvis imo de stirpe recisum, - Matre caret posuitque comas et brachia ferro - Olim arbos, nunc artificis manus ære decoro. - Inclusit patribusque dedit gestare Latinis. - - VIRG. - - -NOTES. - -[14] See the utility of this knife in a late Sessions-paper. - - By this most precious relick, here I pledge - Myself to save him from the halter's edge: - And not myself alone, but ev'ry friend - Shall all his interest and assistance lend. - Quaint B----, beholding the rude mob with scorn, - Shall tell how Irish bards are gentle born; - Next I, to captivate the learned bench, - Will strait affirm that NYKY writes good French;[15] - Thy timid nature JOHNSON shall maintain,[16] - In words no dictionary can explain. - Goldsmith, good-natur'd man, shall next defend, - His foster-brother,[17] countryman, and friend: - Shall prove the humbler passions, now and then, - Are incidental to us little men; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Hanc ego magnanimi spolium Didymaonis hastam, - Ut semel est avulsa jugis à matre perempta, - Quæ neque jam frondes virides neque proferet umbras, - Fida ministeria et duras obit horrida pugnas - Testor. - - VAL. FLAC. - - -NOTES. - -[15] See the Sessions-paper; in which this admirable plea is made use -of by ROSCIUS to exculpate a culprit accused of murder. - -[16] See the same; in which this pompous pseudo-philosopher affects to -suppose cowardice incompatible with the character of an Italian bravo. - -[17] So called from having not long since made one in a poetical -triumvirate, which gave occasion to the following verses in imitation -of Dryden's famous epigram on Milton; - - "Three poets in three distant ages born," &c. - - - And that the part our gentle NYKY play'd - Was but philosophy in masquerade.[18] - Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore, - But to his ROSCIUS, Muse, my NYK restore. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - -NOTES. - - _Poor Dryden! what a theme hadst thou, - Compar'd to that which offers now? - What are your Britons, Romans, Grecians, - Compar'd with thorough-bred Milesians? - Step into Griffin's shop, he'll tell ye - Of Goldsmith, Bickerstaff, and Kelly, - Three poets of one age and nation, - Whose more than mortal reputation, - Mounting in trio to the skies - O'er Milton's fame and Virgil's flies. - Nay, take one Irish evidence for t'other, - Ev'n Homer's self is but their foster-brother._ - -[18] It seems indeed to be growing into fashion for philosophy to go -in masquerade, if there be any truth in the subject of the following; -which lately appeared in the public prints. - - To Doctor GOLDSMITH, on seeing his name in the list of the - mummers at the late masquerade. - - "Say should the philosophic mind disdain - That good which makes each humbler bosom vain; - Let school-taught pride dissemble all it can, - Such little things are great to little man." - - GOLDSMITH. - - _How widely different, Goldsmith, are the ways - Of doctors now, and those of ancient days! - Theirs taught the truth in academic shades, - Ours haunt lewd hops, and midnight masquerades! - So chang'd the times! say philosophic sage, - Whose genius suits so well this tasteful age, - Is the Pantheon, late a sink obscene, - Become the fountain of chaste Hippocrene? - Or do thy moral numbers quaintly flow - Inspir'd by th' Aganippe of Soho?_ - - - For who like him will patch and pilfer plays, - Yielding to me the profit and the praise? - Tho' cheap in French translations MURPHY deals; - For cheap he well may vend the goods he steals; - Tho' modest CRADDOC scorns to sell his play, - But gives the good-for-nothing thing away; - What tho' the courtly CUMBERLAND succeeds - In writing stuff no man of letters reads; - Tho' sense and language are expell'd the stage; - For nonsense pleases best a senseless age; - What tho' the author of the New Bath Guide - Up to the skies my talents late hath cried;[19] - - -NOTES. - - _Do wisdom's sons gorge cates and vermicelli - Like beastly Bickerstaff or bothering Kelly? - Or art thou tir'd of th' undeserv'd applause - Bestow'd on bards affecting virtue's cause? - Wouldst thou, like Sterne, resolv'd at length to thrive, - Turn pimp and die cock-bawd at sixty-five, - Is this the good that makes the humble vain, - The good philosophy should not disdain - If so, let pride dissemble all it can, - A modern sage is still much less than man._ - - MORNING CHRONICLE. - -[19] The compliments passed between these celebrated geniuses indeed -were mutual; Mr. A. commending ROSCIUS for his fine acting, and -Roscius in return Mr. A. for his fine writing. The panegyric on both -sides was equally modest and just; and yet some snarling epigrammatist -could not forbear throwing out the following ill-natured jeu d'esprit -on the occasion. - -On the poetical compliments lately passed between Mess. G. and A. - - _When mincing masters, met with misses, - Pay mutual compliments for kisses; - Miss Polly sings no doubt divinely, - And master Jacky spouts as finely. - But, how I hate such odious greeting, - When two old stagers have a meeting - Foh! out upon the filthy pother! - What!_ men _beslobber one another!_ - - - Tho' humble HIFFERNAN in pay, I keep, - Still my fast friend, when he is fast asleep; - Tho' long the Hodmandod my friend hath been, - With the land-tortoise earth'd at Turnham-Green:[20] - Tho' HARRY WOODFALL, BALDWIN, EVANS, SAY,[21] - My puffs in fairest order full display; - - -NOTES. - -[20] Two amphibious monsters, well known in the republic of letters as -editors of the Critical and Monthly Reviews. The latter seems to be -compared by the poet to a land-tortoise buried in the earth, on -account of the slowness of its motion and the clouds of dust and -dullness with which it is surrounded: the former hath been long known -by the above appellation from the following humorous description. - -LUSUS NATURÆ TYPOGRAPHUS. - - Monstrum horrendum informe ingens cui lumen ademptum. - - VIRG. - - I thought some of Nature's journeymen had made men, and not made them - well; they imitated humanity so abominably - - SHAKESPEARE. - - _In Nature's workshop, on a day, - Her journeymen inclin'd to play, - Half drunk 'twixt cup and can, - Took up a clod, which she with care - Was modelling a huge sea bear, - And swore they'd make't a man._ - - _They tried, but, handling ill their tools, - Formed, like a pack of bungling fools, - A thing so gross and odd; - That, when it roll'd about the dish, - They knew not if 'twere flesh or fish, - A man or Hodmandod._ - - _Yet, to compleat their piece of fun, - They christen'd it Arch Hamilton; - "But what can this thing do?" - Kick it down stairs; the devil's in't - If it won't do to write and print - The Critical Review._ - - KENRICK. - - -[21] Editors and printers of news-papers, well known to the public -for their impartiality in regard to ROSCIUS. - - Impartially insert each friendly PRO, - Suppressing ever CON of every foe;[22] - For well I ween, they wot that _cons_ and _pros_ - Will tend my faults and follies to expose: - Tho' mighty TOM doth still my champion prove, - And LOCKYER's gauntlet be a chicken glove. - - -NOTES. - -[22] A recent instance of this must not pass unnoticed. In the Public -Advertiser appeared lately the following quaint panegyric, suggested -probably to ROSCIUS himself by his brother GEORGE the attorney. - - Nature } - against } Notice of Process. - G---- } - - _Dame Nature against G---- now by me - Her action brings, and thus she grounds her plea. - "I never made a man but still - You acted like that man at will; - Yet ever must I hope in vain - To make a man like you again." - Hence ruin'd totally by you, - She brings her suit, &c. &c._ - - B. Solicitor for the Plaintiff. - -In reply to this notice, it is said, the _defendant's plea_ would have -appeared in the same paper; but the cause was obliged to be removed by -_certiorari_ to another court; when it appeared thus: - - Nature } - against } Defendant's Plea. - G---- } - - _For G---- I without a fee - 'Gainst Nature thus put in his plea. - "To make a man, like me, of art, - Is not, 'tis true, dame Nature's part; - I own that Scrub, fool, knave I've play'd - With more success than all my trade; - But prove it, plaintiff, if you can, - That e'er I acted like a man." - Of this we boldly make denial.---- - Join issue, and proceed to trial._ - - A. Attorney for the Defendant. - - - Tho' shambling BECKET,[23] proud to soothe my pride, - Keeps ever shuflling on my right-hand side; - What tho' with well-tim'd flatt'ry, loud he cries, - At each theatric stare, "See, see his eyes!" - What tho' he'll fetch and carry at command, - And kiss, true spaniel-like, his master's hand; - With admiration NYK ne'er heard me speak, - But press'd the kiss of love upon my cheek;[24] - Incessant clapp'd at th'end of every speech; - And, had I bidd'n him, would have kiss'd my b----! - Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore, - But to his ROSCIUS, Muse, my NYK restore. - But hah! what discord strikes my listening ear? - Is NYKY dead, or is some critic near? - Curse on that Ledger and that damn'd Whitehall,[25] - How players and managers they daily maul! - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - -NOTES. - -[23] The famous THOMAS A BECKET, feigned by the poets to have been -drown'd, when, being half-seas over, in claret, he endeavoured to -return to land: on which occasion a wicked wit of the town made the -following epitaph for his tomb. - - _Here lies - That shuffling, shambling, shrugging, shrinking shrimp, - Tom Becket, Mammon's most industrious imp!_ - - -[24] A customary method it seems, of NYKY's expressing his admiration -of the acting of the immortal ROSCIUS. - -[25] News-papers so called, in which ROSCIUS is not a sharer, and -hath not yet come up to the price of their silence. - - Curse on that Morning-Chronicle; whose tale - Is never known with spightful wit to fail. - Curse on that FOOTE; who in ill-fated hour - Trod on the heels of my theatric-power; - Who, ever ready with some biting joke, - My peace hath long and would my heart have broke. - Curse on his horse--one leg! but ONE to break! - "A kingdom for a horse"--to break his neck! - Curse on that STEVENS,[26] with his Irish breeding, - While I am acting, shall that wretch be reading? - Curse on all rivals, or in fame or profit; - The Fantoccini still make something of it![27] - - -NOTES. - -[26] GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS the lecturer, not the Macaroni editor of -Shakespeare. - -[27] What formidable rivals to the immortal ROSCIUS? Harlequin, -Scaramouch, Chimney-sweeper, Bass-viol, Astrologer, Child, Statue and -Parrot! But ROSCIUS having received a formal challenge from Mr. Punch -and his merry family, a pitch'd-battle, for which great preparations -are now making, will be fought between them next winter; when there is -no doubt but the triumphant ROSCIUS will, even at their own weapons, -rout them all. There is the less reason to fear this, as he hath -already exceeded even Mr.---- 's activity in King Richard. It is but -three or four years ago since this mock-monarch died so tamely that he -was hissed off the stage; on which occasion the following epigram -appeared in the papers. - - -ROSCIUS REDIVIVUS. - - _George! did'nt I hear the critics hiss, - When I was dead?--"Yes, brother, yes, - You did not die in high rant." - Nay, if they think a dying king - Like Harlequin convuls'd, should spring, - Let ---- be hence their tyrant._ - - - Curse on that KENRICK,[28] with his caustic pen, - Who scorns the hate, and hates the love of MEN; - Who with such ease envenom'd satire writes, - Deeper his ink than aqua fortis[29] bites. - Stand his perpetual-motion[30] ever still; - Or, if it move, oh, let it move uphill. - The curse of Sisiphus, oh, let him feel; - The curse of Fortune's still recurring wheel; - - -NOTES. - -ROSCIUS, however, hath chang'd his mind, and acquired new elastic -powers; in so much that the following complimentary verses appeared on -the agility, which he lately displayed in the performance of that -character. - - _Be dumb, ye criticks, dare to hiss no more - While crowded boxes, pit and galleries roar. - Who says that Roscius feels the hand of Time, - To blast his blooming laurels in their prime? - With ever supple limbs and pliant tongue, - Roscius, like Hebe, will be ever young. - See and believe your eyes----did e'er you see - So great a feat of pure agility? - Nor Hughes nor Astley, vaulting in the air, - Like Roscius makes the struck spectators stare. - Nor Lun nor Woodward ever gave the spring, - He gave last night in Richard, dying king! - Th' immortal actor, who can die so clever, - In spite of fate will live to die for ever!_ - -[28] - - A Briton blunt, bred to plain mathematics, - Who hates French b--gres, and Italian pathics. - - -[29] The plaintive ROSCIUS seems here to have an eye to the following -lines: - - _The wits who drink water, and suck sugar-candy, - Impute the strong spirit of_ Kenrick _to brandy. - They are not so much out: the matter in short is - He sips_ aqua-vitæ _and spits_ aqua-fortis. - - PUBLIC ADV. - - -[30] This multifarious genius pretends to have discovered the -Perpetual motion, but it must be a mere pretence; as he is weak enough -to think the public ought to reward him for his discovery, and offers -to disclose it on the simple terms of no purchase no pay. - - That upward roll'd with anxious toil and pain, - The summit almost gain'd, rolls back again. - Ne'er shall his FALSTAFF[31] come again to life; - Ne'er shall be play'd again his WIDOW'D WIFE;[32] - Ne'er will I court again his stubborn Muse, - But for a pageant would his play refuse. - While puff and pantomime will gull the town, - 'Tis good to keep o'erweening merit down; - With BICKERSTAFF and CUMBERLAND go shares, - And grind the poets as I grind the players. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Aut petes aut urges ruiturum, Sysiphe, saxum. - - -NOTES. - -[31] Falstaff's Wedding, a play written in imitation of Shakespeare; -at first rejected, as unfit for the theatre, on account of having so -many of Shakespeare's known characters in it; tho' the manager himself -afterwards brought on a pageant, in which were almost all -Shakespeare's known characters; when finding it difficult to make any -of them speak with propriety, he contented himself with instructing -them to bite their thumbs, screw up their mouths, and make faces at -each other, to the great edification of the audience.--This play -indeed was afterwards performed, and tho' received with the most -confirmed and general applause, has however never since been acted, -either for the author's emolument or the entertainment of the publick. - -[32] Another comedy, nearly under the same predicament with respect -to the town: having been performed but once since its first run, tho' -received with similar approbation; the manager in the mean while -having brought on, and repeatedly acted, the performances of his -favourite play-wrights, to almost empty houses: and yet ROSCIUS hath -all the while pretended to have the highest opinion of the talents, -and the greatest regard for the interest of the writer.---- The -manager claims a legal right, indeed, as patentee, to perform what -plays he pleases; but tho' the play-house and patent be his property, -he has no liberal right to make, at pleasure, a property of the -players, the poets and the publick! - - Curse on that KENRICK, foul of spleen and whim! - What are my puffs, and what my gains to him? - If poor and proud, can he of right complain - That wealthier men and wittier are as vain? - Why must he hint that I am past my prime, - To blast my fading laurels ere their time? - Death to my fame, and what, alas, is worse, - 'Tis death, damnation, to my craving purse; - Capacious purse! by PLUTUS form'd to hold, - (The God of Wealth) the devil and all of gold. - Insatiate purse, that never yet ran o'er, - But swallows all, and gapes, like Hell, for more. - And yet, alas! how much the world will lye! - They call me miser; but no miser I; - He, brooding o'er his bags, delighted sits, - And laughs to scorn the jests of envious wits; - If fast his doors, he sets his heart at rest, - And dotes with rapture on his iron chest; - No galling paper-squibs his spirits teize, - But ev'n the boys may hoot him if they please. - He scorns the whistling of an empty name, - While I am torn 'twixt avarice and fame; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Sordidus ac dives, populi contemnere voces - Si solitus: populus me sibilat: at mihi plaudo - Ipse domi, simul ac nummos contemplor in arcâ. - - - While I, so tremblingly alive all o'er, - Still bleed and agonize at every pore; - At ev'ry hiss am harrow'd up with fear, - And burst with choler at a critic's sneer. - Rack'd by the gout and stone, and struck with age, - Prudence and Ease advise to quit the stage; - But Fame still prompts, and Pride can feel no pain; - And Avarice bids me sell my soul for gain. - Bring NYKY back, O Muse! by verse divine, - The Trojan-Greeks were once transformed to swine. - By verse divine B----TTI 'scap'd the rope: - Now love is known, what may not lovers hope! - Ev'n as with _Griffins_[33] stallions late have join'd - With blood-hounds goats may litter, as in kind; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum, mea carmina ducite Daphnim: - Carminibus Circe socios mutavit Ulyssei: - Carmina vel coelo possunt deducere lunam. - Nunc scio quid sit amor---- - ---- ---- quid non speremus amantes? - Jungentur jam _Gryphes_ equis, ævoque sequenti - Cum canibus timidi venient ad pocula damæ. - Torva leæna lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam, - Te Corydon, O Alexis: trahit sua quemque voluptas. - - -NOTES. - -[33] Unnatural monsters, familiar only with the poets. - - Nay wanton kids devouring wolves may greet, - And wolves with loving lyonesses meet. - By different means is different love made known. - And each fond lover will prefer his own. - Strange lot of love! two friends, my soul's delight, - Men call that M----r, this a Catamite! - Yet bring him back; for who chaste roundelay - Shall sing, now B--ST--FF is driv'n away? - Who now correct, for modest Drury-lane, - Loose Wycherly's or Congreve's looser vein? - With nice decorum shunning naughty jokes, - Exhibit none but decent, dainty folks?[34] - Ah me! how wanton wit will shame the stage, - And shock this delicate, this virtuous age! - - -NOTES. - -[34] NYKY was employed by ROSCIUS to correct the Plain-dealer of -Wycherly; which he accordingly attempted, and inscribed the attempt to -his patron, "as a tribute of _affection_ and esteem for his many -shining and _amiable_ qualities." "The licentiousness of Wycherly's -muse," says this modern corrector, "rendered her shocking to us, with -all her charms: or, in other words, we could allow no charms in a -tainted beauty, who brought contagion along with her." Of the play of -the Plain-dealer, in particular, he intimates that it had been long -excluded the theatre; because, to the honour of the present age, it -was immoral and indecent: that on a close examination, he found in it -excessive obscenity; that the character of Manly was rough even to -outrageous brutality; and that he thought it necessary to work the -whole materials up again, with a mixture of alloy agreeable to the -rules of modern refinement! SEE PREFACE TO B---- FF'S PLAIN-DEALER. -What a champion for decency and delicacy, morality and humanity! What -improvement may not sterling wit receive from the mixture of such -alloy! What an idea may we not hence acquire of modern refinement! - - How will _Plain-dealers_[35] triumph, to my sorrow! - And PAPHOS rise o'er SODOM and GOMORRAH! - - -NOTES. - -[35] A character thus admirably depicted by Wycherly, in the scene -between Manly and Plausible. - -_Manly._ I have more of the mastiff than the spaniel in me, I own it: -I cannot fawn, and fetch and carry; neither will I ever practise that -servile complaisance, which some people pique themselves on being -masters of.---- I will not whisper my contempt or hatred; call a man -fool or knave by signs and mouths, over his shoulder; while I have him -in my arms: I will not, as you do---- - -_Plausible._ As I do! Heaven defend me! upon my honour! I never -attempted to abuse or lessen any one in my life. - -_Manly._ What! you were afraid? - -_Plausible._ No: but seriously I hate to do a rude thing. No, faith, I -speak well of all mankind. - -_Manly._ I thought so: but know that this is the worst sort of -detraction, for it takes away the reputation of the few good men in -the world by making all alike! Now I speak ill of many men, because -they deserve it. - -[Illustration] - - - - -APPENDIX. - - -Certain circumstances, to which the author of the foregoing piece was -an utter stranger, having happened about the time of its publication, -and given rise to rumours equally false and foreign to the party; it -appears that Roscius, or some of his friends, was pleased to insert -the following queries in the Morning Chronicle of July 2d. - - "Candour presents her compliments to Mr.----, she begs his - pardon,---- to Dr.---- _Kenrick_, and desires to ask him a few - simple questions; to which, if he be the _Plain-dealer_ he - pretends, he will give a plain and direct answer. - - _Query_ I. Whether you are not the author of the eclogue, - entitled, _Love in the Suds_, as well as of the letter prefixed to - it? - - II. Whether you did not mean, though you have artfully evaded the - law, by affecting the translation of a classical cento, to throw - out the most scandalous insinuations against the character of - Roscius? - - III. Whether you were not likewise the author of an infamous, - anonymous paragraph in a public paper; for which that paper is - under a just prosecution? - - IV. Whether you have not openly acknowledged notwithstanding, that - you really entertained a very different opinion of Roscius? - - V. Whether any cause of dispute, that might subsist between you - and Roscius, can authorize so cruel, so unmanly an attack? - - VI. Whether the brother of Roscius did not personally wait on you - to require, in his name, the satisfaction of a gentleman, which - you refused him? - - CANDOUR." - -To these queries, the author judged it expedient to make the following -reply in the same paper of July 4th. - - -To CANDOUR. - - MADAM, - - "Though I think your signature a misnomer, to shew that I a no - stranger to the name and quality you assume, I shall not stand on - the punctilio of your being an _anonymous_ querist; but answer - your several questions explicitly. - - I. I am the author of the eclogue you mention. - - II. I did not mean to throw out the _most_ scandalous insinuations - on the character of Roscius, nor any insinuation _more_ scandalous - than his conduct. How far that has been so, he knows best, and is - left to make the application. - - III. An _infamous_ paragraph I _cannot_ write; and an _anonymous_ - one I _will not_ write, to prejudice my greatest enemy. As to that - in question, I have not, to this hour, even seen it. CALUMNY I - _detest_; but I think _vice_ should be exposed to _infamy_, nor - have I so much _false delicacy_ as to conceive, it should be - treated with _tenderness_ in proportion as it is _abominable_. - - IV. I have not acknowledged that I entertain a _very different_ - opinion of Roscius; on the contrary, I declare, that I entertain a - _very indifferent_ opinion of him. - - V. As to the cause of our dispute, I should be very ready to - submit it to the publick, were I egotist enough to think it - deserved their attention. - - VI. The brother of Roscius _did personally wait_ on me, to desire - I would meet "him, the said Roscius, who would bring a friend with - him; I being at liberty to do the same;" but as nothing of time, - place, or weapon was mentioned, I did not look on this message as - a challenge; nor well could I, as I never heard of requiring - _gentleman's satisfaction_ by _letter of attorney_, and the - professed end of our meeting turned merely on a matter of - business.--It is possible, indeed, the messenger, otherwise - instructed, might _imagine_ it such, especially as, it seems, his - head has teemed with nothing but challenges and duels, since his - magnanimous monomachy with one of his brother Roscius's - candle-snuffers.--That Roscius himself, however, did not mean to - send me a challenge, is plain, from his solliciting afterwards by - letter, a conference in the presence only of a common friend to - both: a request that would have been complied with, had not he - thought proper, in a most ungentleman-like manner, to make a - confidant, in the meantime, of a booby of a bookseller, who had - the folly and impudence to declare that he would, on _his_ - [Roscius's] account, _take an opportunity_ to do _me_ some - desperate mischief.--Lest I should be yet supposed, from the - purport of this last query, to have any fear of a personal - encounter with the doughty Roscius, I require only that it may be - on an equal footing. I am neither so extravagantly fond of life, - nor think myself so consequential in it, as to fear the end of it - from such an antagonist; nor, to say the truth, should I have any - qualms of conscience, if nothing less will satisfy him, about - putting an end to so insignificant a being as his: but, as "the - race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong," it is but - right to provide against a mishap. Roscius has a large fortune, - and little or no family to leave it to: I have a large family, and - little or no fortune to leave it. Let Roscius but previously - settle _only half_ his estate on my heirs, on condition that _he_ - deprives them of a protector, and I will meet him to-morrow, and - engage at his own weapons, not only him, but his brother George - into the bargain.[36] - - And now, Madam CANDOUR, give me leave to ask _you_ a question or - two, in my turn. - -[36] The above pleasantry being misconstrued by some of Roscius's -friends to the disadvantage of the author, the latter thought himself -under the necessity of seriously acquainting the former, of his being -ready, as he is, at any time, to give him such satisfaction as a -gentleman, who supposes himself injured, has a right to require. - - _Qu._ I. Whether, from many gross instances of misbehaviour, - _Roscius_ hath not long had sufficient reason to suspect the - detestable character of _Nyky_? - - II. Whether, therefore, granting Roscius to be himself - _immaculate_, he is excusable for his notorious partialities to - such a character? - - III. Whether he has any right to complain of unjust severity, in - being ludicrously reproached with such partialities, by a writer, - whom he hath treated, even in favour of that very wretch, with - disrespect, with insolence, with injustice. - - W. KENRICK." - - * * * * * - -Instead of _candidly_ replying, however, to the above three queries, a -very difficult task, indeed, to Roscius, he caused the Court of King's -Bench to be moved for a rule to shew cause, why leave should not be -given him to file an information against the author for a libel: which -being granted of course, the same was exultingly announced in the -following paragraphs inserted in all the news-papers: - -"Yesterday morning Mr. Dunning made a motion in the Court of King's -Bench, for a rule to shew cause why an information should not be laid -against the author of Love in the Suds. When the court was pleased to -grant a rule for the first day of next term. The poem was read in -court by the Clerk of the Crown, and afforded no small diversion when -it came to that part which reflects upon a certain Chief Justice, who -was present all the time. - -"Besides Mr. Wallace and Mr. Dunning, who are employed by great actor, -in his prosecution of some detestable charges which have been lately -urged with _as much folly as wickedness_ against his character, Mr. -Murphy and Mr. Mansfield are also engaged, and the cause now becomes a -matter of much expectation with the publick." - - * * * * * - -To these paragraphs the author judged it necessary to make the -following reply, in the above-mentioned Morning Chronicle; almost all -the rest of the news-papers, by the indefatigable industry and -powerful influence of Roscius, a proprietor in most of them, being -shut against him. - - -The AUTHOR of LOVE in the SUDS to the PRINTER of the MORNING -CHRONICLE. - - SIR, - - "In reprehending others you should ever be cautious of falling - into the error you condemn. In yesterday's paper you indirectly - charge me, among others, with having "urged a detestable charge - with as much folly as wickedness against a certain great - actor."--What other people have done I know not, nor does it - concern me; but I may safely defy all the Lawyers in - Westminster-Hall fairly to deduce such a charge as you hint at - from the eclogue in question. In this respect it is certainly as - innocent as the great actor's Jubilee Ode! But granting it - otherwise with any one else, how can you take upon you to say that - such a charge is urged _foolishly and wickedly_? Can _you_ know it - to be false or groundless? And if not, on what grounds do you - charge the accusers with _folly_ and _wickedness?_ Why does not - the CANDOUR of the great actor, reply to the Queries put to him in - your paper of Saturday last? But no; unable to justify himself at - the bar of the publick, he flies for refuge to the quirks and - quibbles of Westminster-Hall; and even this at the latter end of a - term, in order to deceive the town into a notion that the court - will countenance his prosecution. Why was not his motion made - sooner, that cause might have been shewn in time, and the futility - of it made immediately evident? Believe me, Sir, before an end is - put to this business, the publick will be better enabled to judge - on which side the _folly_ and _wickedness_ lies, than you appear - to do at present. - - I am, - yours, &c. - W. K. - - -FINIS. - - - - - Shortly will be published, - - A - - LETTER - - TO - - DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - - OCCASIONED - - By his moving the Court of King's Bench, for Leave to file an - Information against the Author of _Love in the Suds, or the - Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his Nyky_.---- In which the - real Purport of that Performance, with the Motives for its - publication will be explained and justified. - - -BY THE AUTHOR. - - _----mitto maledicta omnia: - Rem ipsam putemus._ - - ADELPHI. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue., by -William Kenrick - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - -***** This file should be named 40188-8.txt or 40188-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/1/8/40188/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue. - Being the Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his NYKY. - -Author: William Kenrick - -Editor: Thomas J. Campbell - -Release Date: July 10, 2012 [EBook #40188] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_I" id="Page_I">I</a></span></p> - - -<p class="center small">A</p> -<p class="center xxlarge"><span class="spaced">LETTER</span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">TO</span></p> -<p class="center xlarge"><span class="spaced">DAVID GARRICK</span>, Esq.</p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">FROM</span></p> -<p class="center xlarge"><span class="spaced">WILLIAM KENRICK</span>, LL.D.</p> - -<p class="center small"><i>Meo deo irato.</i> <span class="smcap">Ter. Phor.</span></p> - -<p class="center medium"><span class="spaced">THE THIRD EDITION.</span></p> - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 200px;"> -<img src="images/i_001.png" width="200" height="109" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">LONDON:</span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Printed for</span> J. WHEBLE, <span class="smcap">Pater-noster-Row.</span></span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="smcap">Mdcclxxii</span>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_II" id="Page_II">II</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">To DAVID GARRICK, Esq.</span></p> - -<blockquote> -<p><span class="spaced i2">SIR,</span></p> - -<p>The author of the following Eclogue, having requested my assistance -to introduce it to the world; it was with more indignation than -surprize I was informed of your having used your extensive influence -over the press to prevent its being advertised in the News-papers. -How are you, Sir, concerned in the Lamentation of <i>Roscius</i> for his -<i>Nyky</i>? Does your modesty think no man entitled to the appellation -of Roscius but yourself? Does Nyky resemble any nick-named favourite -of yours? Or does it follow, that if you have cherished an unworthy -favourite, you must bear too near a resemblance to him? <i>Qui -capit ille facit</i>; beware of self-accusation, where others bring no -charge! Or, granting you right in these particulars, by what right or -privilege do you, Sir, set up for a licenser of the press? That you -have long successfully usurped that privilege, to swell both your fame -and fortune, is well known. Not the puffs of the quacks of Bayswater -and Chelsea are so numerous and notorious: but by what authority -do you take upon you to shut up the general channel, in -which writers usher their performances to the public? If they attack -either your talents or your character, <i>in utrumque paratus</i>, you -are armed to defend yourself. You have, besides your ingenuous -countenance and conscious innocence; <i>Nil conscire sibi, nulla pallescere -culpa</i>; Besides this brazen bulwark, I say, you have a ready -pen and a long purse. The press is open to the one, and the bar -is ever ready to open with the other. For a poor author, not a -printer will publish a paragraph, not a pleader will utter a quibble. -You have then every advantage in the contest: It is needless, -therefore, to endeavour to intimidate your antagonists by -countenancing your retainers to threaten their lives! These intimidations, -let me tell you Sir, have an ugly, suspicious look. -They are besides needless; the <i>genus irritabile vatum</i> want no such -personal provocations; Heaven knows, the life of a play-wright, like -that of a spider, is in a state of the most slender dependency. It -is well for my rhiming friend that his hangs not on so slight a -thread. He thinks, nevertheless, that he has reason to complain, -as well as the publick, of your having long preferred the flimzy, -translated, patch'd-up and mis-altered pieces of your favourite compilers, -to the arduous attempts at originality of writers, who have -no personal interest with the manager. In particular, he thinks -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_III" id="Page_III">III</a></span> -the two pieces, you are projecting to get up next winter, for the -emolument of your favorite in disgrace, or to reimburse yourself -the money, you may have advanced him, might, for the present -at least, be laid aside.</p> - -<p>But you will ask me, perhaps, in turn, Sir, what right I have -to interfere with the business of other people, or with yours? I -will answer you. It is because I think your business, as patentee -of a theatre-royal, is not so entirely yours, but that the publick -also have some concern in it. You, Sir, indeed have long behaved -as if you thought the town itself a purchased appurtenance -to the theatre; but, tho' the scenes and machines are yours; nay, -tho' you have even found means to make comedians and poets -your property; it should be with more caution than you practise, -that you extend your various arts to make so scandalous a property -of the publick.</p> - -<p>Again I answer, it is because I have some regard for my friend, -and as much for myself, whom you have treated as ill perhaps as -you have done any other writer; while under your auspices, some of -the persons stigmatised by the satirist, have frequently combined -to do me the most essential injury. But <i>nemo me impune lacessit</i>. -Not that I mean now to enter into particulars which may be -thought to relate too much to myself and too little to the publick. -When I shall have leisure to draw a faithful portraiture of Mr. -Garrick, not only from his behaviour to me in particular, but -from his conduct towards poets, players and the town in general, -I doubt not to convince the most partial of his admirers that he hath -accumulated a fortune, as manager, by the meanest and most meretricious -devices, and that the theatrical props, which have long -supported his exalted reputation, as an actor, have been raised on -the ruins of the English stage.</p> - -<p>In the mean time, I leave you to amuse yourself with the following -jeu d'esprit of my friend; hoping, tho' it be a severe correction -for the errours of your past favouritism, it may prove a salutary -guide to you for the future. With regard to its publication I hope -also to stand excused with the reader for thus interposing to defeat -the success of those arts, which you so unfairly practise to prevent, -from reaching the public eye, whatever is disagreeable to your own.</p> - -<p class="right">I am, Sir,<br /> -Yours, &c.<br /> -W. K. -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_IV" id="Page_IV">IV</a></span> -</p></blockquote> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="center xlarge"><span class="spaced">LOVE</span> in the <span class="spaced">SUDS;</span></p> -<p class="center small">A</p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">TOWN ECLOGUE.</span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">BEING THE</span></p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">LAMENTATION of ROSCIUS</span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">FOR THE</span></p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">LOSS of his NYKY.</span></p> - -<p class="center small"><i>Dixin' ego vobis, in hôc esse Atticam elegantiam?</i> <span class="smcap">Ter.</span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl small"><i>O me inselicem!——<br /> -——quæ laudâram quantum luctus habuerint!</i></td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr"> -<span class="smcap">Phæd.</span></td></tr></table> - -<p class="center">With <span class="smcap">Annotations</span> by the <span class="smcap">Editor</span>;</p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">AND AN</span></p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">APPENDIX,</span></p> -<p class="center small"><span class="spaced">CONTAINING</span></p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">QUERIES and ANSWERS</span></span></p> - -<p class="center small">Relative to the Personal Satisfaction, pretended to have been required -of the Author of the above Eclogue, by the lamentable <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>. -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">1</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">LOVE</span> in the <span class="spaced">SUDS</span>;</p> -<p class="center small">A</p> -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">TOWN ECLOGUE.</span></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<table class="center" summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Whither away, now, <span class="smcap">George</span><a name="FNanchor_1" id="FNanchor_1" href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor">1</a>, into the city,<br /> -And to the village, must thou bear my ditty.<br /> -Seek <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> out, while I in verse complain,<br /> -And court the Muse to call him back again.<br /> -<span class="i2">Bœotian Nymphs, my favorite verse inspire;</span><br /> -As erst ye <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> taught to strike the lyre.<br /> -For he like <span class="smcap">Phœbus</span>' self can touch the string,<br /> -And opera-songs compose—like any thing!<br /> -What shall I do, now <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>'s fled away?<br /> -For who like him can either sing or say? -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Quo te, Mœri, pedes; an quò via ducit in urbem?<br /> -Nymphæ, noster amor, Libethrides, nunc mihi carmen,<br /> -Quale meo Codro, concedite; proxima Phœbi<br /> -Versibus ille facit.——<br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr">Quid facerem?</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></td></tr> -</table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_1" id="Footnote_1" href="#FNanchor_1"><span class="label">1</span></a> The brother and constant companion of <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>; the Mercury of -our theatrical Jupiter, whom he dispatches with his divine commands to -mortal poets and miserable actors.</div> -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">2</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -For me, alas! who well compos'd the song<br /> -When lovely <span class="smcap">Peggy</span><a name="FNanchor_2" id="FNanchor_2" href="#Footnote_2" class="fnanchor">2</a> liv'd, and I was young;<br /> -By age impair'd, my piping days are done,<br /> -My memory fails, and ev'n my voice is gone.<br /> -My feeble notes I yet must strive to raise;<br /> -Bœotian Muses! aid my feeble lays:<br /> -A little louder, and yet louder still,<br /> -Aid me to raise my failing voice at will;<br /> -Aid me as loud as Hercules did bawl,<br /> -For Hylas lost, lost <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> back to call;<br /> -While London town, and all its suburbs round<br /> -In echoes, <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>, <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>, back resound. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -<span class="i2">—— —— Sæpe ego longos</span><br /> -Cantando puerum memini me condere soles<br /> -Nunc oblita mihi tot carmina: vox quoque Mœrim<br /> -Jam fugit ipsa——<br /> -Omnia fert ætas, animum quoque.<br /> -—— Musæ paulò majora canamus.<br /> -—— Hylan nautæ quo fonte relictum<br /> -Clamassent; ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret.<br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">NOTES.</span> -</td></tr></table> -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_2" id="Footnote_2" href="#FNanchor_2"><span class="label">2</span></a> <span class="smcap">Peggy Woffington</span>, on whom our <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>, then her inamorato, -made a famous song, beginning with the following stanza: -<br /> -<br /> -<span class="i2"><i>Once more I'll tune the vocal shell,</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>To hills and dales my passion tell,</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>A flame which time can never quell,</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>That burns for thee, my Peggy.</i></span> -</div> -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">3</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Whom fliest thou, frantic youth, and whence thy fear?<br /> -Blest had there never been a grenadier!<br /> -Unhappy <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>, by what frenzy seiz'd,<br /> -Couldst thou with such a monstrous thing be pleas'd?<br /> -What, tho' thyself a loving horse-marine,<a name="FNanchor_3" id="FNanchor_3" href="#Footnote_3" class="fnanchor">3</a><br /> -A common foot-soldier's a thing obscene.<br /> -Not fabled Nymphs, by spleen turn'd into cows,<br /> -Bellow'd to nasty bulls their amorous vows;<br /> -Tho' turn'd their loving horns upon each other,<br /> -Butting in play, as brother might with brother.<br /> -Unhappy <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>, whither dost thou stray,<br /> -Lost to thy friends, o'er hills and far away? -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Quem fugis? Ah demens!——<br /> -Et fortunatam, si nunquam armenta fuissent,<br /> -Pasiphaën nivei solatur amore juvenci.<br /> -Oh, virgo infelix, quæ te dementia cepit?<br /> -Prœtides implêrunt falsis mugitibus agros:<br /> -At non tum turpes pecudum tamen ulla secuta est<br /> -Concubitus: quamvis collo timuisset aratrum,<br /> -Et sæpe in levi quæsisset cornua fronte.<br /> -Ah, virgo infelix, tu nunc in montibus erras! -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">NOTES.</span> -</td></tr></table> -<blockquote><p> -Time, however, effects strange things, as the poet says, and many have -been the passions which have since agitated, and have been also quelled in -the bosom of <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>. -</p></blockquote> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_3" id="Footnote_3" href="#FNanchor_3"><span class="label">3</span></a> <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> is a half-pay officer of marines. A horse-marine is a kind of -<i>meretricious</i> <span class="smcap">Hobby-horse</span>, <i>modò vir modò fæmina</i>.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">4</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Yet to Euryalus as Nisus true, -So shall thy <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>, <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>, prove to you;<br /> -Whether by impulse mov'd, itself divine,<br /> -Or so I'm bound to call it, as it's mine,<br /> -A mighty feat presents itself to view,<br /> -Which for our mutual gain I yet will do.<br /> -Mean-time do thou beware, while I bemoan,<br /> -How far thou trustest seas or lands unknown.<br /> -To Tyber's stream, or to the banks of Po,<br /> -Safe in thy love, safe in thy virtue, go;<br /> -Yet even there with caution be thou kind,<br /> -And look out sharp and frequently behind.<br /> -But ah, beware, nor trust, tho' native Mud,<a name="FNanchor_4" id="FNanchor_4" href="#Footnote_4" class="fnanchor">4</a><br /> -The banks of Liffy, or of Shannon's flood;<br /> -Or there, if driv'n by fate, be hush'd thy strain?<br /> -Nor of thy wayward lot, nor mine complain. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Nisus ait, "Diine hunc ardorem mentibus addunt<br /> -Euryale? An sua cuique deus sit dira Cupido?<br /> -Aut pugnam, aut aliquid jamdudum invadere magnum<br /> -Mens agitat mihi——<br /> -Hàc iter est; tu ne qua manus se attollere nobis<br /> -A tergo possit, custodi et consule longè." -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="spaced">NOTES.</span> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_4" id="Footnote_4" href="#FNanchor_4"><span class="label">4</span></a> <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> it seems was born and bred in Ireland; where his christian name -was <i>John</i>. How he came by the Jewish appellation of <i>Isaac</i> is not generally -known. Whether it was bestowed upon him for his resemblance to -the chosen <i>people</i>, or given him by poetical licence, may possibly be a matter -of disquisition for future scholiasts.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">5</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Lest female Bacchanals, when flush'd with wine,<br /> -Serve thee, like Orpheus, for thy song divine;<br /> -Nay back return, lest my too plaintive verse<br /> -Entail on me the same Orphean curse;<br /> -Lest Venus' train of Drury and the Strand<br /> -Attack my house by water and by land;<br /> -Hot with their midnight orgies, madly tear<br /> -My little limbs, and throw them here and there;<br /> -Casting, enrag'd at my provoking theme,<br /> -Th' inditing brain into the neighbouring stream:<br /> -When, as my skull shall float the tide along,<br /> -Thy much-lov'd name, the burthen of my song,<br /> -Shall still be stutter'd, later than my breath;<br /> -<span class="smcap">Nyky</span>—-<span class="smcap">Nyk</span>——<span class="smcap">Ny</span>——till stopt my tongue in death:<br /> -Through London-bridge shall Wapping <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> roar,<br /> -And <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> be even heard to Hampton's shore.<a name="FNanchor_5" id="FNanchor_5" href="#Footnote_5" class="fnanchor">5</a> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -—— —— Spreto Ciconum quo munere matres<br /> -Inter sacra deûm, nocturnique orgia Bacchi,<br /> -Discerptum latos juvenem sparsêre per agros.<br /> -Tum quoque marmoreâ caput à cervice revulsum,<br /> -Gurgite cum medio portans Oeagrius Hebrus<br /> -Volveret, Eurydicen vox ipsa et frigida lingua<br /> -Ah miseram Eurydicen anima fugiente, vocabat:<br /> -Eurydicen toto referebant flumine ripæ! -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_5" id="Footnote_5" href="#FNanchor_5"><span class="label">5</span></a> The celebrated villa of <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">6</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -On Hebrus' banks so tuneful Orpheus died;<br /> -His limbs the fields receiv'd, his head the tide.<br /> -Nor more its stream renown'd than Thames in fame<a name="FNanchor_6" id="FNanchor_6" href="#Footnote_6" class="fnanchor">6</a>:<br /> -Here Catherine Hayes serv'd Goodman Hayes the same.<br /> -Here on this spot, where now th' Adelphi stands,<br /> -Was thrown her husband's noddle from her hands;<br /> -His scatter'd limbs left quiv'ring on the shore;<br /> -As Thracian wives had play'd their part before.<br /> -Oh, horrour, horrour! <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> back return;<br /> -Nor more for grenadiers imprudent burn.<br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -And yet, ah why should <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> thus be blam'd?<br /> -Of manly love ah! why are men asham'd?<br /> -A new red coat, fierce cock and killing air<br /> -Will captivate the most obdurate fair;<br /> -What wonder then if <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>'s tender heart<br /> -At such a sight should feel a lover's smart:<br /> -No wonder love, that in itself is blind,<br /> -Should no distinction in the difference find;<br /> -No wonder love should <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> thus enthrall;<br /> -Almighty love, at times, subdues us all;<br /> -While, vulgar prejudices soar'd above,<br /> -<span class="smcap">Nyk</span> gave up all the world,—well lost for love. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Omnia vincit amor et nos cedamus amori. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_6" id="Footnote_6" href="#FNanchor_6"><span class="label">6</span></a> See the Tyburn Chronicle and Newgate lamentations <i>pro tempore</i>; particularly -that famous ballad, entitled A merry song about murder, beginning -with, "In Tyburn-road there liv'd a man," &c.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">7</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Yet slight the cause of <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>'s late mishap;<br /> -<span class="smcap">Nyk</span> but mistook the colour of the cap:<br /> -A common errour, frequent in the Park,<br /> -Where love is apt to stumble in the dark.<br /> -Why rais'd the haughty female head so high,<br /> -With the tall caps of grenadiers to vie?<br /> -Why does it like tremendous figure make,<br /> -To subject purblind lovers to mistake?<a name="FNanchor_7" id="FNanchor_7" href="#Footnote_7" class="fnanchor">7</a><br /> -Or rather why, in these enlighten'd times,<br /> -Should rigid Nature call such errours crimes?<br /> -"Thou Nature art my goddess," saith the play;<br /> -But even Shakespeare's text hath had its day.<br /> -More gentle custom no such rigour knows;<br /> -And custom into second nature grows.<br /> -Let vulgar passions move the vulgar mind,<br /> -Superior souls feel motives more refin'd:<br /> -Among the low-bred English slow advance<br /> -Th' Italian <i>gusto</i> and <i>bon ton</i> of France.<br /> -Strange to the classic lore of Greece and Rome,<br /> -And rudely nurs'd in ignorance at home,<br /> -The tasteless herd e'en construe into sin,<br /> -That poets should in metaphor lie in,<br /> -While I, their best man-midwife, must be sham'd,<br /> -Whene'er the Fashionable Lover's nam'd. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_7" id="Footnote_7" href="#FNanchor_7"><span class="label">7</span></a> <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> is near sighted.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">8</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -But Candour's veil love's foibles still should cover<br /> -And <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> be stil'd a <span class="smcap">Fashionable Lover</span>.<a name="FNanchor_8" id="FNanchor_8" href="#Footnote_8" class="fnanchor">8</a><br /> -<span class="i2">To polish'd travellers is only known</span><br /> -That taste which makes the ancient arts our own;<br /> -Which shares with Rome in every gem antique;<br /> -Which blends the modern with the ancient Greek;<br /> -Improves on both, and greatly soars above,<br /> -In pure philanthropy, Platonic love;<br /> -That love which burns with undistinguish'd rage,<br /> -And spares in fondness neither sex nor age?<br /> - Ah! therefore why in these enlighten'd times<br /> -Sould rigid Nature call such errours crimes?<br /> -Must not the taste of Attic wits be nice?<br /> -Can antient virtue be a modern vice?<br /> -The Mantuan bard, or else his scholiast lies,<a name="FNanchor_9" id="FNanchor_9" href="#Footnote_9" class="fnanchor">9</a><br /> -Virgil the chaste, nay Socrates the wise. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_8" id="Footnote_8" href="#FNanchor_8"><span class="label">8</span></a> - -<blockquote><p> -"<i>If any author of prolific brains<br /> -In this good company feels labour-pains;<br /> -If any gentle poet big with rhyme<br /> -Has run his reckoning out and gone his time:<br /> -Know such that at our hospital of muses<br /> -He may lie-in in private if he chuses;<br /> -We've single lodgings there for secret sinners<br /> -With good encouragement for your beginners.</i>"<br /> -<br /> -Prologue to the <span class="smcap">Fashionable Lover</span>.</p> -</blockquote> - -<p>It is indeed now plain enough that <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> has given great encouragement -to <i>secret sinners</i>; but I would advise none of our poets to lie in again -in private; but to remember the fate of a late tragedy and farce. Poor -<i>Clementina</i>, and the lady <i>An hour before marriage</i>, both privately lay-in and -miscarried.</p> -</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_9" id="Footnote_9" href="#FNanchor_9"><span class="label">9</span></a> The Jesuit Ruæus begins the argument of Virgil's second Eclogue -with the following explicit declaration, <i>Amabat Virgilius puerum</i>.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">9</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -The gay Petronius, sophists, wits and bards,<br /> -Of old, bestow'd on youth their soft regards;<br /> -In modish dalliance pass'd their harmless time<br /> -Ev'n modish now in soft Italia's clime.<br /> -Could lightenings ever issue from above<br /> -To blast poor men for such a crime as love;<br /> -When the lewd daughters of incestuous Lot<br /> -Were both with child by their own father got?<br /> -Poor goody Lot indeed might be in fault,<br /> -And justly turn'd to monumental salt:<br /> -The matrimonial emblem of a wife:<br /> -Needs must be salt a dish to keep for life!<br /> -A fable Sodom's fate: in Heav'n above<br /> -All is made up of harmony and love;<br /> -That such its vengeance I believe not, I;<br /> -Historians err and Hebrew Jews will lie.<br /> -<span class="i2">Sing then, my Muse, a more engaging strain</span><br /> -To lure my <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> back to Drury-lane.<br /> -Tell him the fancied danger all is o'er;<br /> -Home he may come and love as heretofore. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin.<br /> -<span class="i2">—— Deos didici securum agere ævum</span><br /> -Nec si quid miri faciat natura, deos id<br /> -Tristes ex alto cœli demittere tecto.<br /> -—— —— Credat Judæus Apella,<br /> -Non ego. ——<br /> -Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim.<br /> -</td></tr></table> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">10</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -In vain the vulgar shall for vengeance call,<br /> -Or move the justices at Hickes's-hall;<br /> -In vain grand juries shall be urg'd by law<br /> -In his indictment not to leave a flaw.<br /> -Ev'n at the bar should <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> stand arraign'd,<br /> -No verdict 'gainst him should be there obtain'd;<br /> -Nay, by the laws and customs of the land,<br /> -Tho' trembling <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> should convicted stand,<br /> -The candid jury shall be mov'd t'acquit<br /> -A gentleman, an author, and a wit:<br /> -For liberal minds with candour ever see<br /> -The milder failings of humanity!<br /> -Smooth-spoken <span class="smcap">Mansfield</span>,<a name="FNanchor_10" id="FNanchor_10" href="#Footnote_10" class="fnanchor">10</a> with his vacant face,<br /> -In softening accents first shall ope his case;<br /> -Which to defend, the want of Merlin's cunning<br /> -Shall be supplied by that of Grimbald <span class="smcap">Dunning</span>.<a name="FNanchor11" id="FNanchor11" href="#Footnote11" class="fnanchor">11</a><br /> -E'en at th' Old-Bailey they for <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> shall plead;<br /> -Where would they not, if they were largely fee'd?<br /> -Were <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> summon'd to the bar below,<br /> -Well-fee'd these faithful barristers would go; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_10" id="Footnote_10" href="#FNanchor_10"><span class="label">10</span></a> Not the Judge of that name; but the barrister, who, is by no -means a judge—— of any thing.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote11" id="Footnote11" href="#FNanchor11"><span class="label">11</span></a> See King Arthur, lately revived at Drury-lane Theatre, and attend the -pleadings in our courts of law and equity at Westminster, Guildhall, and -Lincoln's-inn.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">11</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Their tale to Minos would they glibly tell;<br /> -Minos the <span class="smcap">Mansfield</span>, or Chief Judge, of Hell.<a name="FNanchor12" id="FNanchor12" href="#Footnote12" class="fnanchor">12</a><br /> - Nor need my <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> fear a London jury<br /> -Will e'er be influenced with a female fury.<br /> -Can they who let a prov'd assassin 'scape<br /> -Hang up poor <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> for a friendly rape?<br /> -If in the dark to stab, be thought no crime,<br /> -What may'nt be hop'd from jurymen in time?<br /> -Soon Southern modes, no doubt, they'll reconcile<br /> -With the plain manners of our Northern isle;<br /> -And e'en new-married citizens be brought<br /> -To reckon S——y a venial fault:<br /> -When if <span class="smcap">George Bellas</span>,<a name="FNanchor13" id="FNanchor13" href="#Footnote13" class="fnanchor">13</a> cruel and unkind,<br /> -Blast not their loves, with rude tempestuous wind,<br /> -In common-council Corydon may burn,<br /> -And Corydons for Corydon in turn,<br /> -Till every alderman about the chair<br /> -Find his Alexis in a new lord-mayor. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ex illo Corydon, Corydon est tempore nobis. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote12" id="Footnote12" href="#FNanchor12"><span class="label">12</span></a> Minos is reported by the poets to have been raised to this high office -for his impartiality in the administration of Justice here on earth: what a -pity that office is not soon to become vacant; as it might be most luckily -filled by as worthy a successor.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote13" id="Footnote13" href="#FNanchor13"><span class="label">13</span></a> A boisterous mock-patriot, supposed to be descended from Eolus and -Amphitrite, being famous for his mackarel expeditions, his musical knowledge -of the fundamental base and public performances on the bassoon.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">12</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<span class="i2">Sing then, O Muse, a more pathetic strain,</span><br /> -To lure my gentle <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> back again.<br /> -For, sure as Thames resembles Tyber's tide,<br /> -Shall Macaronis soon possess Cheapside;<br /> -As petty-jury-men in judgment sit,<br /> -And ev'ry Corydon, with <span class="smcap">Nyk</span>, acquit.<br /> -Yes by this knife, this useful<a name="FNanchor14" id="FNanchor14" href="#Footnote14" class="fnanchor">14</a> knife, I swear,<br /> -Which for my lov'd <span class="smcap">B——tti</span>'s sake I wear;<br /> -This knife, whose haft, at Stratford Jubilee,<br /> -For ever left its parent mulberry tree;<br /> -For thence it grew, tho', tipt with steel so fine,<br /> -It now will serve to stab with, or to dine;<br /> -That tree, which late on Avon's border grew;<br /> -By Shakespeare planted; Warwick lads say true; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Α'λλ' ἑκ τοι ἑῥεω, και ἑπἱ μἑγαν ὁρκον ὁμουμαι,<br /> -Ναἱ μἁ τὁδε ςκηπρον, τὁ μἑν ουποττε φυλλα και ὁζους<br /> -Φυσει, ἑπειδἡ πρωτα τομἡν ἑν ὁρεσσι λελοιπεν,<br /> -Οὑδ' ἁναθηλἡσειΟὑδ' ἁναθηλἡσει. -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr"> -<span class="smcap">Hom.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ut sceptrum hoc (sceptrum dextrâ nam fortè gerebat)<br /> -Nunquam fronde levi fundet virgulta nec umbras;<br /> -Cùm semel in sylvis imo de stirpe recisum,<br /> -Matre caret posuitque comas et brachia ferro<br /> -Olim arbos, nunc artificis manus ære decoro.<br /> -Inclusit patribusque dedit gestare Latinis. -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr"> -<span class="smcap">Virg.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote14" id="Footnote14" href="#FNanchor14"><span class="label">14</span></a> See the utility of this knife in a late Sessions-paper.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">13</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -By this most precious relick, here I pledge<br /> -Myself to save him from the halter's edge:<br /> -And not myself alone, but ev'ry friend<br /> -Shall all his interest and assistance lend.<br /> -Quaint B——, beholding the rude mob with scorn,<br /> -Shall tell how Irish bards are gentle born;<br /> -Next I, to captivate the learned bench,<br /> -Will strait affirm that <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> writes good French;<a name="FNanchor15" id="FNanchor15" href="#Footnote15" class="fnanchor">15</a><br /> -Thy timid nature <span class="smcap">Johnson</span> shall maintain,<a name="FNanchor16" id="FNanchor16" href="#Footnote16" class="fnanchor">16</a><br /> -In words no dictionary can explain.<br /> -Goldsmith, good-natur'd man, shall next defend,<br /> -His foster-brother,<a name="FNanchor17" id="FNanchor17" href="#Footnote17" class="fnanchor">17</a> countryman, and friend:<br /> -Shall prove the humbler passions, now and then,<br /> -Are incidental to us little men; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Hanc ego magnanimi spolium Didymaonis hastam,<br /> -Ut semel est avulsa jugis à matre perempta,<br /> -Quæ neque jam frondes virides neque proferet umbras,<br /> -Fida ministeria et duras obit horrida pugnas<br /> -Testor.<br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr"> -<span class="smcap">Val. Flac.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote15" id="Footnote15" href="#FNanchor15"><span class="label">15</span></a> See the Sessions-paper; in which this admirable plea is made use of by -<span class="smcap">Roscius</span> to exculpate a culprit accused of murder.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote16" id="Footnote16" href="#FNanchor16"><span class="label">16</span></a> See the same; in which this pompous pseudo-philosopher affects to -suppose cowardice incompatible with the character of an Italian bravo.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote17" id="Footnote17" href="#FNanchor17"><span class="label">17</span></a> So called from having not long since made one in a poetical triumvirate, -which gave occasion to the following verses in imitation of Dryden's -famous epigram on Milton;<br /> -<br /> -<span class="i2"> -"Three poets in three distant ages born," &c. -</span> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">14</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -And that the part our gentle <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> play'd<br /> -Was but philosophy in masquerade.<a name="FNanchor18" id="FNanchor18" href="#Footnote18" class="fnanchor">18</a><br /> -Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore,<br /> -But to his <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>, Muse, my <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> restore. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>Poor Dryden! what a theme hadst thou,<br /> -Compar'd to that which offers now?<br /> -What are your Britons, Romans, Grecians,<br /> -Compar'd with thorough-bred Milesians?<br /> -Step into Griffin's shop, he'll tell ye<br /> -Of Goldsmith, Bickerstaff, and Kelly,<br /> -Three poets of one age and nation,<br /> -Whose more than mortal reputation,<br /> -Mounting in trio to the skies<br /> -O'er Milton's fame and Virgil's flies.<br /> -Nay, take one Irish evidence for t'other,<br /> -Ev'n Homer's self is but their foster-brother.</i> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote18" id="Footnote18" href="#FNanchor18"><span class="label">18</span></a> It seems indeed to be growing into fashion for philosophy to go in -masquerade, if there be any truth in the subject of the following; which -lately appeared in the public prints.<br /> -<br /> -<p>To Doctor <span class="smcap">Goldsmith</span>, on seeing his name in the list of the -mummers at the late masquerade.</p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -"Say should the philosophic mind disdain<br /> -That good which makes each humbler bosom vain;<br /> -Let school-taught pride dissemble all it can,<br /> -Such little things are great to little man."<br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdr"> -<span class="smcap">Goldsmith.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>How widely different, Goldsmith, are the ways<br /> -Of doctors now, and those of ancient days!<br /> -Theirs taught the truth in academic shades,<br /> -Ours haunt lewd hops, and midnight masquerades!<br /> -So chang'd the times! say philosophic sage,<br /> -Whose genius suits so well this tasteful age,<br /> -Is the Pantheon, late a sink obscene,<br /> -Become the fountain of chaste Hippocrene?<br /> -Or do thy moral numbers quaintly flow<br /> -Inspir'd by th' Aganippe of Soho?</i> -</td></tr></table> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">15</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -For who like him will patch and pilfer plays,<br /> -Yielding to me the profit and the praise?<br /> -Tho' cheap in French translations <span class="smcap">Murphy</span> deals;<br /> -For cheap he well may vend the goods he steals;<br /> -Tho' modest <span class="smcap">Craddoc</span> scorns to sell his play,<br /> -But gives the good-for-nothing thing away;<br /> -What tho' the courtly <span class="smcap">Cumberland</span> succeeds<br /> -In writing stuff no man of letters reads;<br /> -Tho' sense and language are expell'd the stage;<br /> -For nonsense pleases best a senseless age;<br /> -What tho' the author of the New Bath Guide<br /> -Up to the skies my talents late hath cried;<a name="FNanchor19" id="FNanchor19" href="#Footnote19" class="fnanchor">19</a> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>Do wisdom's sons gorge cates and vermicelli<br /> -Like beastly Bickerstaff or bothering Kelly?<br /> -Or art thou tir'd of th' undeserv'd applause<br /> -Bestow'd on bards affecting virtue's cause?<br /> -Wouldst thou, like Sterne, resolv'd at length to thrive,<br /> -Turn pimp and die cock-bawd at sixty-five,<br /> -Is this the good that makes the humble vain,<br /> -The good philosophy should not disdain<br /> -If so, let pride dissemble all it can,<br /> -A modern sage is still much less than man.</i><br /> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="smcap">Morning Chronicle.</span> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote19" id="Footnote19" href="#FNanchor19"><span class="label">19</span></a> The compliments passed between these celebrated geniuses indeed were -mutual; Mr. A. commending <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> for his fine acting, and Roscius in -return Mr. A. for his fine writing. The panegyric on both sides was equally -modest and just; and yet some snarling epigrammatist could not forbear -throwing out the following ill-natured jeu d'esprit on the occasion.<br /> -<br /> -On the poetical compliments lately passed between Mess. G. and A.<br /> -<br /> -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>When mincing masters, met with misses,<br /> -Pay mutual compliments for kisses;<br /> -Miss Polly sings no doubt divinely,<br /> -And master Jacky spouts as finely.<br /> -But, how I hate such odious greeting,<br /> -When two old stagers have a meeting<br /> -Foh! out upon the filthy pother!<br /> -What!</i> men <i>beslobber one another!</i> -</td></tr></table> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">16</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Tho' humble <span class="smcap">Hiffernan</span> in pay, I keep,<br /> -Still my fast friend, when he is fast asleep;<br /> -Tho' long the Hodmandod my friend hath been,<br /> -With the land-tortoise earth'd at Turnham-Green:<a name="FNanchor20" id="FNanchor20" href="#Footnote20" class="fnanchor">20</a><br /> -Tho' <span class="smcap">Harry Woodfall</span>, <span class="smcap">Baldwin</span>, <span class="smcap">Evans</span>, <span class="smcap">Say</span>,<a name="FNanchor21" id="FNanchor21" href="#Footnote21" class="fnanchor">21</a><br /> -My puffs in fairest order full display; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote20" id="Footnote20" href="#FNanchor20"><span class="label">20</span></a> Two amphibious monsters, well known in the republic of letters as editors -of the Critical and Monthly Reviews. The latter seems to be compared by -the poet to a land-tortoise buried in the earth, on account of the slowness of -its motion and the clouds of dust and dullness with which it is surrounded: -the former hath been long known by the above appellation from the following -humorous description.<br /> -<br /> -<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Lusus Naturæ Typographus.</span></p> - -<p>Monstrum horrendum informe ingens cui lumen ademptum. -<span class="smcap i2">Virg.</span></p> - -<p> -I thought some of Nature's journeymen had made men, and not made them -well; they imitated humanity so abominably -<span class="smcap i2">Shakespeare.</span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>In Nature's workshop, on a day,<br /> -Her journeymen inclin'd to play,<br /> -<span class="i2">Half drunk 'twixt cup and can,</span><br /> -Took up a clod, which she with care<br /> -Was modelling a huge sea bear,<br /> -<span class="i2">And swore they'd make't a man.</span></i><br /> -<br /> -<i>They tried, but, handling ill their tools,<br /> -Formed, like a pack of bungling fools,<br /> -<span class="i2">A thing so gross and odd;</span><br /> -That, when it roll'd about the dish,<br /> -They knew not if 'twere flesh or fish,<br /> -<span class="i2">A man or Hodmandod.</span></i><br /> -<br /> -<i>Yet, to compleat their piece of fun,<br /> -They christen'd it Arch Hamilton;<br /> -<span class="i2">"But what can this thing do?"</span><br /> -Kick it down stairs; the devil's in't<br /> -If it won't do to write and print<br /> -<span class="i2">The Critical Review.</span></i><span class="smcap i2">Kenrick.</span> -</td></tr></table> -</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote21" id="Footnote21" href="#FNanchor21"><span class="label">21</span></a> Editors and printers of news-papers, well known to the public for their -impartiality in regard to <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">17</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Impartially insert each friendly <span class="smcap">PRO</span>,<br /> -Suppressing ever <span class="smcap">CON</span> of every foe;<a name="FNanchor22" id="FNanchor22" href="#Footnote22" class="fnanchor">22</a><br /> -For well I ween, they wot that <i>cons</i> and <i>pros</i><br /> -Will tend my faults and follies to expose:<br /> -Tho' mighty <span class="smcap">Tom</span> doth still my champion prove,<br /> -And <span class="smcap">Lockyer</span>'s gauntlet be a chicken glove. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote22" id="Footnote22" href="#FNanchor22"><span class="label">22</span></a> A recent instance of this must not pass unnoticed. In the Public Advertiser -appeared lately the following quaint panegyric, suggested probably -to <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> himself by his brother <span class="smcap">George</span> the attorney.<br /> -<br /> -<table summary=""><tr> -<td class="tdl"> -Nature<br /> -against<br /> -G——<br /> -</td> -<td class="curly"> -} -</td> -<td class="tdl"> -Notice of Process. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td> -<td> </td> -<td class="tdl"> -<i>Dame Nature against G—— now by me<br /> -Her action brings, and thus she grounds her plea.<br /> -<span class="i2">"I never made a man but still</span><br /> -<span class="i2">You acted like that man at will;</span><br /> -<span class="i2">Yet ever must I hope in vain</span><br /> -<span class="i2">To make a man like you again."</span><br /> -Hence ruin'd totally by you,<br /> -She brings her suit, &c. &c.</i><span class="i2">B. Solicitor for the Plaintiff.</span> -</td></tr></table> - -<p>In reply to this notice, it is said, the <i>defendant's plea</i> would have appeared in -the same paper; but the cause was obliged to be removed by <i>certiorari</i> to another -court; when it appeared thus:</p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Nature<br /> -against<br /> -G—— -</td> -<td class="curly"> -} -</td> -<td class="tdl"> -Defendant's Plea. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td> -<td> </td> -<td class="tdl"> -<i>For G—— I without a fee<br /> -'Gainst Nature thus put in his plea.</i><br /> -<span class="i2"><span class="i2"><i>"To make a man, like me, of art,</i></span></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>Is not, 'tis true, dame Nature's part;</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>I own that Scrub, fool, knave I've play'd</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>With more success than all my trade;</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>But prove it, plaintiff, if you can,</i></span><br /> -<span class="i2"><i>That e'er I acted like a man."</i></span><br /> -<i>Of this we boldly make denial.——<br /> -Join issue, and proceed to trial.</i> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td> -<td> </td> -<td class="tdr">A. Attorney for the Defendant.</td> -</tr></table> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">18</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Tho' shambling <span class="smcap">Becket</span>,<a name="FNanchor23" id="FNanchor23" href="#Footnote23" class="fnanchor">23</a> proud to soothe my pride,<br /> -Keeps ever shuflling on my right-hand side;<br /> -What tho' with well-tim'd flatt'ry, loud he cries,<br /> -At each theatric stare, "See, see his eyes!"<br /> -What tho' he'll fetch and carry at command,<br /> -And kiss, true spaniel-like, his master's hand;<br /> -With admiration <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> ne'er heard me speak,<br /> -But press'd the kiss of love upon my cheek;<a name="FNanchor24" id="FNanchor24" href="#Footnote24" class="fnanchor">24</a><br /> -Incessant clapp'd at th'end of every speech;<br /> -And, had I bidd'n him, would have kiss'd my b——!<br /> -Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore,<br /> -But to his <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>, Muse, my <span class="smcap">Nyk</span> restore.<br /> - But hah! what discord strikes my listening ear?<br /> -Is <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> dead, or is some critic near?<br /> -Curse on that Ledger and that damn'd Whitehall,<a name="FNanchor25" id="FNanchor25" href="#Footnote25" class="fnanchor">25</a><br /> -How players and managers they daily maul! -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote23" id="Footnote23" href="#FNanchor23"><span class="label">23</span></a> The famous <span class="smcap">Thomas a Becket</span>, feigned by the poets to have been -drown'd, when, being half-seas over, in claret, he endeavoured to return to -land: on which occasion a wicked wit of the town made the following epitaph -for his tomb.<br /> -<br /> - -<span class="i2"><i>Here lies</i></span><br /> -<i>That shuffling, shambling, shrugging, shrinking shrimp,<br /> -Tom Becket, Mammon's most industrious imp!</i> -</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote24" id="Footnote24" href="#FNanchor24"><span class="label">24</span></a> A customary method it seems, of <span class="smcap">Nyky</span>'s expressing his admiration of -the acting of the immortal <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote25" id="Footnote25" href="#FNanchor25"><span class="label">25</span></a> News-papers so called, in which <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> is not a sharer, and hath -not yet come up to the price of their silence.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">19</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Curse on that Morning-Chronicle; whose tale<br /> -Is never known with spightful wit to fail.<br /> -Curse on that <span class="smcap">Foote</span>; who in ill-fated hour<br /> -Trod on the heels of my theatric-power;<br /> -Who, ever ready with some biting joke,<br /> -My peace hath long and would my heart have broke.<br /> -Curse on his horse—one leg! but <span class="smcap">ONE</span> to break!<br /> -"A kingdom for a horse"—to break his neck!<br /> -Curse on that <span class="smcap">Stevens</span>,<a name="FNanchor26" id="FNanchor26" href="#Footnote26" class="fnanchor">26</a> with his Irish breeding,<br /> -While I am acting, shall that wretch be reading?<br /> -Curse on all rivals, or in fame or profit;<br /> -The Fantoccini still make something of it!<a name="FNanchor27" id="FNanchor27" href="#Footnote27" class="fnanchor">27</a> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote26" id="Footnote26" href="#FNanchor26"><span class="label">26</span></a> <span class="smcap">George Alexander Stevens</span> the lecturer, not the Macaroni -editor of Shakespeare.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote27" id="Footnote27" href="#FNanchor27"><span class="label">27</span></a> What formidable rivals to the immortal <span class="smcap">Roscius</span>? Harlequin, Scaramouch, -Chimney-sweeper, Bass-viol, Astrologer, Child, Statue and Parrot! -But <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> having received a formal challenge from Mr. Punch and his -merry family, a pitch'd-battle, for which great preparations are now making, -will be fought between them next winter; when there is no doubt but the -triumphant <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> will, even at their own weapons, rout them all. There -is the less reason to fear this, as he hath already exceeded even Mr.—— 's -activity in King Richard. It is but three or four years ago since this mock-monarch -died so tamely that he was hissed off the stage; on which occasion -the following epigram appeared in the papers.<br /> -<br /> -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdc"> -<span class="smcap">Roscius redivivus.</span> -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>George! did'nt I hear the critics hiss,<br /> -When I was dead?—"Yes, brother, yes,<br /> -<span class="i2">You did not die in high rant."</span><br /> -Nay, if they think a dying king<br /> -Like Harlequin convuls'd, should spring,<br /> -<span class="i2">Let —— be hence their tyrant.</span></i> -</td></tr></table> -</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">20</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Curse on that <span class="smcap">Kenrick</span>,<a name="FNanchor28" id="FNanchor28" href="#Footnote28" class="fnanchor">28</a> with his caustic pen,<br /> -Who scorns the hate, and hates the love of <span class="smcap">MEN</span>;<br /> -Who with such ease envenom'd satire writes,<br /> -Deeper his ink than aqua fortis<a name="FNanchor29" id="FNanchor29" href="#Footnote29" class="fnanchor">29</a> bites.<br /> -Stand his perpetual-motion<a name="FNanchor30" id="FNanchor30" href="#Footnote30" class="fnanchor">30</a> ever still;<br /> -Or, if it move, oh, let it move uphill.<br /> -The curse of Sisiphus, oh, let him feel;<br /> -The curse of Fortune's still recurring wheel; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<p><span class="smcap">Roscius</span>, however, hath chang'd his mind, and acquired new elastic powers; -in so much that the following complimentary verses appeared on the agility, -which he lately displayed in the performance of that character.</p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>Be dumb, ye criticks, dare to hiss no more<br /> -While crowded boxes, pit and galleries roar.<br /> -Who says that Roscius feels the hand of Time,<br /> -To blast his blooming laurels in their prime?<br /> -With ever supple limbs and pliant tongue,<br /> -Roscius, like Hebe, will be ever young.<br /> -See and believe your eyes——did e'er you see<br /> -So great a feat of pure agility?<br /> -Nor Hughes nor Astley, vaulting in the air,<br /> -Like Roscius makes the struck spectators stare.<br /> -Nor Lun nor Woodward ever gave the spring,<br /> -He gave last night in Richard, dying king!<br /> -Th' immortal actor, who can die so clever,<br /> -In spite of fate will live to die for ever!</i> -</td></tr></table> - - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote28" id="Footnote28" href="#FNanchor28"><span class="label">28</span></a> -<br /> -A Briton blunt, bred to plain mathematics,<br /> -Who hates French b—gres, and Italian pathics. -</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote29" id="Footnote29" href="#FNanchor29"><span class="label">29</span></a> The plaintive <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> seems here to have an eye to the following lines: - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>The wits who drink water, and suck sugar-candy,<br /> -Impute the strong spirit of</i> Kenrick <i>to brandy.<br /> -They are not so much out: the matter in short is<br /> -He sips</i> aqua-vitæ <i>and spits</i> aqua-fortis.<span class="smcap i2">Public Adv.</span> -</td></tr></table> -</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote30" id="Footnote30" href="#FNanchor30"><span class="label">30</span></a> This multifarious genius pretends to have discovered the Perpetual motion, -but it must be a mere pretence; as he is weak enough to think the -public ought to reward him for his discovery, and offers to disclose it -on the simple terms of no purchase no pay.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">21</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -That upward roll'd with anxious toil and pain,<br /> -The summit almost gain'd, rolls back again.<br /> -Ne'er shall his <span class="smcap">Falstaff</span><a name="FNanchor31" id="FNanchor31" href="#Footnote31" class="fnanchor">31</a> come again to life;<br /> -Ne'er shall be play'd again his <span class="smcap">Widow'd Wife</span>;<a name="FNanchor32" id="FNanchor32" href="#Footnote32" class="fnanchor">32</a><br /> -Ne'er will I court again his stubborn Muse,<br /> -But for a pageant would his play refuse.<br /> -While puff and pantomime will gull the town,<br /> -'Tis good to keep o'erweening merit down;<br /> -With <span class="smcap">Bickerstaff</span> and <span class="smcap">Cumberland</span> go shares,<br /> -And grind the poets as I grind the players. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Aut petes aut urges ruiturum, Sysiphe, saxum. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote31" id="Footnote31" href="#FNanchor31"><span class="label">31</span></a> Falstaff's Wedding, a play written in imitation of Shakespeare; at first -rejected, as unfit for the theatre, on account of having so many of Shakespeare's -known characters in it; tho' the manager himself afterwards brought -on a pageant, in which were almost all Shakespeare's known characters; when -finding it difficult to make any of them speak with propriety, he contented -himself with instructing them to bite their thumbs, screw up their mouths, -and make faces at each other, to the great edification of the audience.—This -play indeed was afterwards performed, and tho' received with the most -confirmed and general applause, has however never since been acted, either -for the author's emolument or the entertainment of the publick.</div> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote32" id="Footnote32" href="#FNanchor32"><span class="label">32</span></a> Another comedy, nearly under the same predicament with respect to -the town: having been performed but once since its first run, tho' received -with similar approbation; the manager in the mean while having brought -on, and repeatedly acted, the performances of his favourite play-wrights, to -almost empty houses: and yet <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> hath all the while pretended to -have the highest opinion of the talents, and the greatest regard for the interest -of the writer.—— The manager claims a legal right, indeed, as patentee, to -perform what plays he pleases; but tho' the play-house and patent be his property, -he has no liberal right to make, at pleasure, a property of the players, -the poets and the publick!</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">22</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Curse on that <span class="smcap">Kenrick</span>, foul of spleen and whim!<br /> -What are my puffs, and what my gains to him?<br /> -If poor and proud, can he of right complain<br /> -That wealthier men and wittier are as vain?<br /> -Why must he hint that I am past my prime,<br /> -To blast my fading laurels ere their time?<br /> -Death to my fame, and what, alas, is worse,<br /> -'Tis death, damnation, to my craving purse;<br /> -Capacious purse! by <span class="smcap">Plutus</span> form'd to hold,<br /> -(The God of Wealth) the devil and all of gold.<br /> -Insatiate purse, that never yet ran o'er,<br /> -But swallows all, and gapes, like Hell, for more.<br /> -<span class="i2">And yet, alas! how much the world will lye!</span><br /> -They call me miser; but no miser I;<br /> -He, brooding o'er his bags, delighted sits,<br /> -And laughs to scorn the jests of envious wits;<br /> -If fast his doors, he sets his heart at rest,<br /> -And dotes with rapture on his iron chest;<br /> -No galling paper-squibs his spirits teize,<br /> -But ev'n the boys may hoot him if they please.<br /> -He scorns the whistling of an empty name,<br /> -While I am torn 'twixt avarice and fame; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Sordidus ac dives, populi contemnere voces<br /> -Si solitus: populus me sibilat: at mihi plaudo<br /> -Ipse domi, simul ac nummos contemplor in arcâ.<br /> -</td></tr></table> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">23</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -While I, so tremblingly alive all o'er,<br /> -Still bleed and agonize at every pore;<br /> -At ev'ry hiss am harrow'd up with fear,<br /> -And burst with choler at a critic's sneer.<br /> -Rack'd by the gout and stone, and struck with age,<br /> -Prudence and Ease advise to quit the stage;<br /> -But Fame still prompts, and Pride can feel no pain;<br /> -And Avarice bids me sell my soul for gain.<br /> -<span class="i2">Bring <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> back, O Muse! by verse divine,</span><br /> -The Trojan-Greeks were once transformed to swine.<br /> -By verse divine <span class="smcap">B——tti</span> 'scap'd the rope:<br /> -Now love is known, what may not lovers hope!<br /> -Ev'n as with <i>Griffins</i><a name="FNanchor33" id="FNanchor33" href="#Footnote33" class="fnanchor">33</a> stallions late have join'd<br /> -With blood-hounds goats may litter, as in kind; -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">IMITATIONS.</span></p> -</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdl"> -Ducite ab urbe domum, mea carmina ducite Daphnim:<br /> -Carminibus Circe socios mutavit Ulyssei:<br /> -Carmina vel cœlo possunt deducere lunam.<br /> -Nunc scio quid sit amor——<br /> -<span class="i2">—— —— quid non speremus amantes?</span><br /> -Jungentur jam <i>Gryphes</i> equis, ævoque sequenti<br /> -Cum canibus timidi venient ad pocula damæ.<br /> -Torva leæna lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam,<br /> -Te Corydon, O Alexis: trahit sua quemque voluptas. -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote33" id="Footnote33" href="#FNanchor33"><span class="label">33</span></a> Unnatural monsters, familiar only with the poets.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">24</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -Nay wanton kids devouring wolves may greet,<br /> -And wolves with loving lyonesses meet.<br /> -By different means is different love made known.<br /> -And each fond lover will prefer his own.<br /> -Strange lot of love! two friends, my soul's delight,<br /> -Men call that M——r, this a Catamite!<br /> -Yet bring him back; for who chaste roundelay<br /> -Shall sing, now <span class="smcap">B—st—ff</span> is driv'n away?<br /> -Who now correct, for modest Drury-lane,<br /> -Loose Wycherly's or Congreve's looser vein?<br /> -With nice decorum shunning naughty jokes,<br /> -Exhibit none but decent, dainty folks?<a name="FNanchor34" id="FNanchor34" href="#Footnote34" class="fnanchor">34</a><br /> -Ah me! how wanton wit will shame the stage,<br /> -And shock this delicate, this virtuous age! -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote34" id="Footnote34" href="#FNanchor34"><span class="label">34</span></a> <span class="smcap">Nyky</span> was employed by <span class="smcap">Roscius</span> to correct the Plain-dealer of Wycherly; -which he accordingly attempted, and inscribed the attempt to his -patron, "as a tribute of <i>affection</i> and esteem for his many shining and -<i>amiable</i> qualities." "The licentiousness of Wycherly's muse," says this -modern corrector, "rendered her shocking to us, with all her charms: or, -in other words, we could allow no charms in a tainted beauty, who brought -contagion along with her." Of the play of the Plain-dealer, in particular, -he intimates that it had been long excluded the theatre; because, to the honour -of the present age, it was immoral and indecent: that on a close examination, -he found in it excessive obscenity; that the character of Manly -was rough even to outrageous brutality; and that he thought it necessary -to work the whole materials up again, with a mixture of alloy agreeable to -the rules of modern refinement! <span class="smcap">See Preface to B—— ff's Plain-dealer.</span> -What a champion for decency and delicacy, morality and humanity! What -improvement may not sterling wit receive from the mixture of such alloy! -What an idea may we not hence acquire of modern refinement!</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">25</a></span></p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -How will <i>Plain-dealers</i><a name="FNanchor35" id="FNanchor35" href="#Footnote35" class="fnanchor">35</a> triumph, to my sorrow!<br /> -And <span class="smcap">Paphos</span> rise o'er <span class="smcap">Sodom</span> and <span class="smcap">Gomorrah</span>! -</td></tr> -<tr><td> </td></tr> -<tr><td> -<p class="center"><span class="spaced">NOTES.</span></p> -</td></tr></table> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote35" id="Footnote35" href="#FNanchor35"><span class="label">35</span></a> A character thus admirably depicted by Wycherly, in the scene between -Manly and Plausible.<br /> -<br /> -<i>Manly.</i> I have more of the mastiff than the spaniel in me, I own it: I -cannot fawn, and fetch and carry; neither will I ever practise that servile -complaisance, which some people pique themselves on being masters of.—— -I will not whisper my contempt or hatred; call a man fool or knave by -signs and mouths, over his shoulder; while I have him in my arms: I will -not, as you do——<br /> -<br /> -<i>Plausible.</i> As I do! Heaven defend me! upon my honour! I never attempted -to abuse or lessen any one in my life.<br /> -<br /> -<i>Manly.</i> What! you were afraid?<br /> -<br /> -<i>Plausible.</i> No: but seriously I hate to do a rude thing. No, faith, I speak -well of all mankind.<br /> -<br /> -<i>Manly.</i> I thought so: but know that this is the worst sort of detraction, -for it takes away the reputation of the few good men in the world by making -all alike! Now I speak ill of many men, because they deserve it.</div> - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 200px;"> -<img src="images/i_031.png" width="200" height="147" alt="" /> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">26</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<p class="large center"><span class="spaced">APPENDIX.</span></p> - - -<p>Certain circumstances, to which the author of the foregoing -piece was an utter stranger, having happened about the time of its -publication, and given rise to rumours equally false and foreign to -the party; it appears that Roscius, or some of his friends, was pleased -to insert the following queries in the Morning Chronicle of July 2d.</p> - -<blockquote> -<p>"Candour presents her compliments to Mr.——, she begs his -pardon,—— to Dr.—— <i>Kenrick</i>, and desires to ask him a few simple -questions; to which, if he be the <i>Plain-dealer</i> he pretends, he will -give a plain and direct answer.</p> - -<p><i>Query</i> I. Whether you are not the author of the eclogue, entitled, -<i>Love in the Suds</i>, as well as of the letter prefixed to it?</p> - -<p>II. Whether you did not mean, though you have artfully evaded -the law, by affecting the translation of a classical cento, to throw out -the most scandalous insinuations against the character of Roscius?</p> - -<p>III. Whether you were not likewise the author of an infamous, -anonymous paragraph in a public paper; for which that paper is under -a just prosecution?</p> - -<p>IV. Whether you have not openly acknowledged notwithstanding, -that you really entertained a very different opinion of Roscius?</p> - -<p>V. Whether any cause of dispute, that might subsist between you -and Roscius, can authorize so cruel, so unmanly an attack?</p> - -<p>VI. Whether the brother of Roscius did not personally wait on -you to require, in his name, the satisfaction of a gentleman, which -you refused him?</p> - -<p class="right">CANDOUR." -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">27</a></span> -</p></blockquote> - -<p>To these queries, the author judged it expedient to make the following -reply in the same paper of July 4th.</p> - - -<p>To <span class="spaced">CANDOUR.</span></p> - -<blockquote> -<p><span class="smcap">Madam</span>,</p> - -<p>"Though I think your signature a misnomer, to shew that I a -no stranger to the name and quality you assume, I shall not stand on -the punctilio of your being an <i>anonymous</i> querist; but answer your -several questions explicitly.</p> - -<p>I. I am the author of the eclogue you mention.</p> - -<p>II. I did not mean to throw out the <i>most</i> scandalous insinuations -on the character of Roscius, nor any insinuation <i>more</i> scandalous than -his conduct. How far that has been so, he knows best, and is left to -make the application.</p> - -<p>III. An <i>infamous</i> paragraph I <i>cannot</i> write; and an <i>anonymous</i> one -I <i>will not</i> write, to prejudice my greatest enemy. As to that in question, -I have not, to this hour, even seen it. <span class="smcap">Calumny</span> I <i>detest</i>; but -I think <i>vice</i> should be exposed to <i>infamy</i>, nor have I so much <i>false -delicacy</i> as to conceive, it should be treated with <i>tenderness</i> in proportion -as it is <i>abominable</i>.</p> - -<p>IV. I have not acknowledged that I entertain a <i>very different</i> -opinion of Roscius; on the contrary, I declare, that I entertain a <i>very -indifferent</i> opinion of him.</p> - -<p>V. As to the cause of our dispute, I should be very ready to submit -it to the publick, were I egotist enough to think it deserved their attention.</p> - -<p>VI. The brother of Roscius <i>did personally wait</i> on me, to desire I -would meet "him, the said Roscius, who would bring a friend -with him; I being at liberty to do the same;" but as nothing of time, -place, or weapon was mentioned, I did not look on this message as a -challenge; nor well could I, as I never heard of requiring <i>gentleman's -satisfaction</i> by <i>letter of attorney</i>, and the professed end of our meeting -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">28</a></span> -turned merely on a matter of business.—It is possible, indeed, the -messenger, otherwise instructed, might <i>imagine</i> it such, especially as, -it seems, his head has teemed with nothing but challenges and duels, -since his magnanimous monomachy with one of his brother Roscius's -candle-snuffers.—That Roscius himself, however, did not mean to -send me a challenge, is plain, from his solliciting afterwards by letter, a -conference in the presence only of a common friend to both: a request -that would have been complied with, had not he thought proper, in -a most ungentleman-like manner, to make a confidant, in the meantime, -of a booby of a bookseller, who had the folly and impudence -to declare that he would, on <i>his</i> [Roscius's] account, <i>take an opportunity</i> -to do <i>me</i> some desperate mischief.—Lest I should be yet supposed, -from the purport of this last query, to have any fear of a personal -encounter with the doughty Roscius, I require only that it may be -on an equal footing. I am neither so extravagantly fond of life, nor -think myself so consequential in it, as to fear the end of it from such -an antagonist; nor, to say the truth, should I have any qualms of -conscience, if nothing less will satisfy him, about putting an end to -so insignificant a being as his: but, as "the race is not to the -swift, nor the battle to the strong," it is but right to provide against -a mishap. Roscius has a large fortune, and little or no family to -leave it to: I have a large family, and little or no fortune to leave it. -Let Roscius but previously settle <i>only half</i> his estate on my heirs, on -condition that <i>he</i> deprives them of a protector, and I will meet him -to-morrow, and engage at his own weapons, not only him, but his -brother George into the bargain.<a name="FNanchor36" id="FNanchor36" href="#Footnote36" class="label">36</a></p> - -<p>And now, Madam <span class="smcap">Candour</span>, give me leave to ask <i>you</i> a question -or two, in my turn. -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">29</a></span></p> - -<p><i>Qu.</i> I. Whether, from many gross instances of misbehaviour, <i>Roscius</i> -hath not long had sufficient reason to suspect the detestable character -of <i>Nyky</i>?</p> - -<p>II. Whether, therefore, granting Roscius to be himself <i>immaculate</i>, -he is excusable for his notorious partialities to such a character?</p> - -<p>III. Whether he has any right to complain of unjust severity, in -being ludicrously reproached with such partialities, by a writer, -whom he hath treated, even in favour of that very wretch, with disrespect, -with insolence, with injustice.</p> - -<p class="right"><span class="spaced">W. KENRICK</span>."</p> -</blockquote> - -<div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote36" id="Footnote36" href="#FNanchor36"><span class="label">36</span></a> The above pleasantry being misconstrued by some of Roscius's friends to the -disadvantage of the author, the latter thought himself under the necessity of seriously -acquainting the former, of his being ready, as he is, at any time, to give him such satisfaction -as a gentleman, who supposes himself injured, has a right to require.</div> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Instead of <i>candidly</i> replying, however, to the above three queries, -a very difficult task, indeed, to Roscius, he caused the Court of King's -Bench to be moved for a rule to shew cause, why leave should not be -given him to file an information against the author for a libel: which -being granted of course, the same was exultingly announced in the following -paragraphs inserted in all the news-papers:</p> - -<p>"Yesterday morning Mr. Dunning made a motion in the Court -of King's Bench, for a rule to shew cause why an information should -not be laid against the author of Love in the Suds. When the court -was pleased to grant a rule for the first day of next term. The poem -was read in court by the Clerk of the Crown, and afforded no small -diversion when it came to that part which reflects upon a certain -Chief Justice, who was present all the time.</p> - -<p>"Besides Mr. Wallace and Mr. Dunning, who are employed by -great actor, in his prosecution of some detestable charges which have -been lately urged with <i>as much folly as wickedness</i> against his character, -Mr. Murphy and Mr. Mansfield are also engaged, and the cause -now becomes a matter of much expectation with the publick."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>To these paragraphs the author judged it necessary to make the -following reply, in the above-mentioned Morning Chronicle; almost -all the rest of the news-papers, by the indefatigable industry -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">30</a></span> -and powerful influence of Roscius, a proprietor in most of them, -being shut against him.</p> - - -<p class="center">The <span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Author</span></span> of <span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Love</span></span> in the <span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Suds</span></span> to the <span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Printer</span></span> -of the <span class="spaced"><span class="smcap">Morning Chronicle</span></span>.</p> - -<blockquote> -<p><span class="spaced">SIR</span>,</p> - -<p>"In reprehending others you should ever be cautious of falling -into the error you condemn. In yesterday's paper you indirectly -charge me, among others, with having "urged a detestable charge -with as much folly as wickedness against a certain great actor."—What -other people have done I know not, nor does it concern me; -but I may safely defy all the Lawyers in Westminster-Hall fairly to -deduce such a charge as you hint at from the eclogue in question. -In this respect it is certainly as innocent as the great actor's Jubilee -Ode! But granting it otherwise with any one else, how can you take -upon you to say that such a charge is urged <i>foolishly and wickedly</i>? -Can <i>you</i> know it to be false or groundless? And if not, on what -grounds do you charge the accusers with <i>folly</i> and <i>wickedness?</i> Why -does not the <span class="smcap">Candour</span> of the great actor, reply to the Queries put -to him in your paper of Saturday last? But no; unable to justify -himself at the bar of the publick, he flies for refuge to the quirks and -quibbles of Westminster-Hall; and even this at the latter end of a -term, in order to deceive the town into a notion that the court will -countenance his prosecution. Why was not his motion made -sooner, that cause might have been shewn in time, and the futility of -it made immediately evident? Believe me, Sir, before an end is put -to this business, the publick will be better enabled to judge on which -side the <i>folly</i> and <i>wickedness</i> lies, than you appear to do at present.</p> - -<p class="right"> -I am,<br /> -yours, &c.<br /> -W. K. -</p> -</blockquote> - - -<p class="xlarge center"><span class="spaced">FINIS</span>.</p> - -<hr class="full" /> - - -<p class="center">Shortly will be published,</p> - -<p class="center small">A</p> - -<p class="center large"><span class="spaced">LETTER</span></p> - -<p class="center medium"><span class="spaced">TO</span></p> - -<p class="center medium"><span class="spaced">DAVID GARRICK</span>, Esq.</p> - -<p class="center small">OCCASIONED</p> - -<p class="hanging indent"> -By his moving the Court of King's Bench, for Leave to file an -Information against the Author of <i>Love in the Suds, or the Lamentation -of Roscius for the Loss of his Nyky</i>.—— In which the real -Purport of that Performance, with the Motives for its publication -will be explained and justified.</p> - -<p class="center large bold"><span class="spaced">BY THE AUTHOR</span>.</p> - -<table summary=""><tr><td class="tdl"> -<i>——mitto maledicta omnia:<br /> -Rem ipsam putemus.</i><span class="smcap i2">Adelphi.</span> -</td></tr></table> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue., by -William Kenrick - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - -***** This file should be named 40188-h.htm or 40188-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/1/8/40188/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue. - Being the Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his NYKY. - -Author: William Kenrick - -Editor: Thomas J. Campbell - -Release Date: July 10, 2012 [EBook #40188] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - - A - LETTER - TO - DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - FROM - WILLIAM KENRICK, LL.D. - - _Meo deo irato._ TER. PHOR. - - THE THIRD EDITION. - - [Illustration] - - LONDON: - PRINTED FOR J. WHEBLE, PATER-NOSTER-ROW. - MDCCLXXII. - - - - - -To DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - - - SIR, - - The author of the following Eclogue, having requested my - assistance to introduce it to the world; it was with more - indignation than surprize I was informed of your having used your - extensive influence over the press to prevent its being advertised - in the News-papers. How are you, Sir, concerned in the Lamentation - of _Roscius_ for his _Nyky_? Does your modesty think no man - entitled to the appellation of Roscius but yourself? Does Nyky - resemble any nick-named favourite of yours? Or does it follow, - that if you have cherished an unworthy favourite, you must bear - too near a resemblance to him? _Qui capit ille facit_; beware of - self-accusation, where others bring no charge! Or, granting you - right in these particulars, by what right or privilege do you, - Sir, set up for a licenser of the press? That you have long - successfully usurped that privilege, to swell both your fame and - fortune, is well known. Not the puffs of the quacks of Bayswater - and Chelsea are so numerous and notorious: but by what authority - do you take upon you to shut up the general channel, in which - writers usher their performances to the public? If they attack - either your talents or your character, _in utrumque paratus_, you - are armed to defend yourself. You have, besides your ingenuous - countenance and conscious innocence; _Nil conscire sibi, nulla - pallescere culpa_; Besides this brazen bulwark, I say, you have a - ready pen and a long purse. The press is open to the one, and the - bar is ever ready to open with the other. For a poor author, not a - printer will publish a paragraph, not a pleader will utter a - quibble. You have then every advantage in the contest: It is - needless, therefore, to endeavour to intimidate your antagonists - by countenancing your retainers to threaten their lives! These - intimidations, let me tell you Sir, have an ugly, suspicious look. - They are besides needless; the _genus irritabile vatum_ want no - such personal provocations; Heaven knows, the life of a - play-wright, like that of a spider, is in a state of the most - slender dependency. It is well for my rhiming friend that his - hangs not on so slight a thread. He thinks, nevertheless, that he - has reason to complain, as well as the publick, of your having - long preferred the flimzy, translated, patch'd-up and mis-altered - pieces of your favourite compilers, to the arduous attempts at - originality of writers, who have no personal interest with the - manager. In particular, he thinks the two pieces, you are - projecting to get up next winter, for the emolument of your - favorite in disgrace, or to reimburse yourself the money, you may - have advanced him, might, for the present at least, be laid aside. - - But you will ask me, perhaps, in turn, Sir, what right I have to - interfere with the business of other people, or with yours? I will - answer you. It is because I think your business, as patentee of a - theatre-royal, is not so entirely yours, but that the publick also - have some concern in it. You, Sir, indeed have long behaved as if - you thought the town itself a purchased appurtenance to the - theatre; but, tho' the scenes and machines are yours; nay, tho' - you have even found means to make comedians and poets your - property; it should be with more caution than you practise, that - you extend your various arts to make so scandalous a property of - the publick. - - Again I answer, it is because I have some regard for my friend, - and as much for myself, whom you have treated as ill perhaps as - you have done any other writer; while under your auspices, some of - the persons stigmatised by the satirist, have frequently combined - to do me the most essential injury. But _nemo me impune lacessit_. - Not that I mean now to enter into particulars which may be thought - to relate too much to myself and too little to the publick. When I - shall have leisure to draw a faithful portraiture of Mr. Garrick, - not only from his behaviour to me in particular, but from his - conduct towards poets, players and the town in general, I doubt - not to convince the most partial of his admirers that he hath - accumulated a fortune, as manager, by the meanest and most - meretricious devices, and that the theatrical props, which have - long supported his exalted reputation, as an actor, have been - raised on the ruins of the English stage. - - In the mean time, I leave you to amuse yourself with the following - jeu d'esprit of my friend; hoping, tho' it be a severe correction - for the errours of your past favouritism, it may prove a salutary - guide to you for the future. With regard to its publication I hope - also to stand excused with the reader for thus interposing to - defeat the success of those arts, which you so unfairly practise - to prevent, from reaching the public eye, whatever is disagreeable - to your own. - - I am, Sir, - Yours, &c. - W. K. - - - - - LOVE in the SUDS; - A - TOWN ECLOGUE. - BEING THE - LAMENTATION of ROSCIUS - FOR THE - LOSS of his NYKY. - - _Dixin' ego vobis, in hoc esse Atticam elegantiam?_ TER. - - _O me inselicem!---- - ----quae laudaram quantum luctus habuerint!_ - - PHAED. - - With ANNOTATIONS by the EDITOR; - - AND AN - APPENDIX, - CONTAINING - QUERIES AND ANSWERS - - Relative to the Personal Satisfaction, pretended to have been required - of the Author of the above Eclogue, by the lamentable ROSCIUS. - - - - -LOVE in the SUDS; - -A - -TOWN ECLOGUE. - - - Whither away, now, GEORGE[1], into the city, - And to the village, must thou bear my ditty. - Seek NYKY out, while I in verse complain, - And court the Muse to call him back again. - Boeotian Nymphs, my favorite verse inspire; - As erst ye NYKY taught to strike the lyre. - For he like PHOEBUS' self can touch the string, - And opera-songs compose--like any thing! - What shall I do, now NYKY's fled away? - For who like him can either sing or say? - - -IMITATIONS. - - Quo te, Moeri, pedes; an quo via ducit in urbem? - Nymphae, noster amor, Libethrides, nunc mihi carmen, - Quale meo Codro, concedite; proxima Phoebi - Versibus ille facit.---- - Quid facerem? - - -NOTES. - -[1] The brother and constant companion of ROSCIUS; the Mercury of our -theatrical Jupiter, whom he dispatches with his divine commands to -mortal poets and miserable actors. - - For me, alas! who well compos'd the song - When lovely PEGGY[2] liv'd, and I was young; - By age impair'd, my piping days are done, - My memory fails, and ev'n my voice is gone. - My feeble notes I yet must strive to raise; - Boeotian Muses! aid my feeble lays: - A little louder, and yet louder still, - Aid me to raise my failing voice at will; - Aid me as loud as Hercules did bawl, - For Hylas lost, lost NYKY back to call; - While London town, and all its suburbs round - In echoes, NYKY, NYKY, back resound. - - -IMITATIONS. - - ---- ---- Saepe ego longos - Cantando puerum memini me condere soles - Nunc oblita mihi tot carmina: vox quoque Moerim - Jam fugit ipsa---- - Omnia fert aetas, animum quoque. - ---- Musae paulo majora canamus. - ---- Hylan nautae quo fonte relictum - Clamassent; ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret. - - -NOTES. - -[2] PEGGY WOFFINGTON, on whom our ROSCIUS, then her inamorato, made a -famous song, beginning with the following stanza: - - _Once more I'll tune the vocal shell, - To hills and dales my passion tell, - A flame which time can never quell, - That burns for thee, my Peggy._ - - - Whom fliest thou, frantic youth, and whence thy fear? - Blest had there never been a grenadier! - Unhappy NYKY, by what frenzy seiz'd, - Couldst thou with such a monstrous thing be pleas'd? - What, tho' thyself a loving horse-marine,[3] - A common foot-soldier's a thing obscene. - Not fabled Nymphs, by spleen turn'd into cows, - Bellow'd to nasty bulls their amorous vows; - Tho' turn'd their loving horns upon each other, - Butting in play, as brother might with brother. - Unhappy NYKY, whither dost thou stray, - Lost to thy friends, o'er hills and far away? - - -IMITATIONS. - - Quem fugis? Ah demens!---- - Et fortunatam, si nunquam armenta fuissent, - Pasiphaen nivei solatur amore juvenci. - Oh, virgo infelix, quae te dementia cepit? - Proetides implerunt falsis mugitibus agros: - At non tum turpes pecudum tamen ulla secuta est - Concubitus: quamvis collo timuisset aratrum, - Et saepe in levi quaesisset cornua fronte. - Ah, virgo infelix, tu nunc in montibus erras! - - -NOTES. - - Time, however, effects strange things, as the poet says, and many - have been the passions which have since agitated, and have been - also quelled in the bosom of ROSCIUS. - -[3] NYKY is a half-pay officer of marines. A horse-marine is a kind -of _meretricious_ HOBBY-HORSE, _modo vir modo faemina_. - - Yet to Euryalus as Nisus true, - So shall thy ROSCIUS, NYKY, prove to you; - Whether by impulse mov'd, itself divine, - Or so I'm bound to call it, as it's mine, - A mighty feat presents itself to view, - Which for our mutual gain I yet will do. - Mean-time do thou beware, while I bemoan, - How far thou trustest seas or lands unknown. - To Tyber's stream, or to the banks of Po, - Safe in thy love, safe in thy virtue, go; - Yet even there with caution be thou kind, - And look out sharp and frequently behind. - But ah, beware, nor trust, tho' native Mud,[4] - The banks of Liffy, or of Shannon's flood; - Or there, if driv'n by fate, be hush'd thy strain? - Nor of thy wayward lot, nor mine complain. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Nisus ait, "Diine hunc ardorem mentibus addunt - Euryale? An sua cuique deus sit dira Cupido? - Aut pugnam, aut aliquid jamdudum invadere magnum - Mens agitat mihi---- - Hac iter est; tu ne qua manus se attollere nobis - A tergo possit, custodi et consule longe." - - -NOTES. - -[4] NYKY it seems was born and bred in Ireland; where his christian -name was _John_. How he came by the Jewish appellation of _Isaac_ is -not generally known. Whether it was bestowed upon him for his -resemblance to the chosen _people_, or given him by poetical licence, -may possibly be a matter of disquisition for future scholiasts. - - Lest female Bacchanals, when flush'd with wine, - Serve thee, like Orpheus, for thy song divine; - Nay back return, lest my too plaintive verse - Entail on me the same Orphean curse; - Lest Venus' train of Drury and the Strand - Attack my house by water and by land; - Hot with their midnight orgies, madly tear - My little limbs, and throw them here and there; - Casting, enrag'd at my provoking theme, - Th' inditing brain into the neighbouring stream: - When, as my skull shall float the tide along, - Thy much-lov'd name, the burthen of my song, - Shall still be stutter'd, later than my breath; - NYKY---NYK----NY----till stopt my tongue in death: - Through London-bridge shall Wapping NYKY roar, - And NYK be even heard to Hampton's shore.[5] - - -IMITATIONS. - - ---- ---- Spreto Ciconum quo munere matres - Inter sacra deum, nocturnique orgia Bacchi, - Discerptum latos juvenem sparsere per agros. - Tum quoque marmorea caput a cervice revulsum, - Gurgite cum medio portans Oeagrius Hebrus - Volveret, Eurydicen vox ipsa et frigida lingua - Ah miseram Eurydicen anima fugiente, vocabat: - Eurydicen toto referebant flumine ripae! - - -NOTES. - -[5] The celebrated villa of ROSCIUS. - - On Hebrus' banks so tuneful Orpheus died; - His limbs the fields receiv'd, his head the tide. - Nor more its stream renown'd than Thames in fame[6]: - Here Catherine Hayes serv'd Goodman Hayes the same. - Here on this spot, where now th' Adelphi stands, - Was thrown her husband's noddle from her hands; - His scatter'd limbs left quiv'ring on the shore; - As Thracian wives had play'd their part before. - Oh, horrour, horrour! NYKY back return; - Nor more for grenadiers imprudent burn. - - And yet, ah why should NYKY thus be blam'd? - Of manly love ah! why are men asham'd? - A new red coat, fierce cock and killing air - Will captivate the most obdurate fair; - What wonder then if NYKY's tender heart - At such a sight should feel a lover's smart: - No wonder love, that in itself is blind, - Should no distinction in the difference find; - No wonder love should NYKY thus enthrall; - Almighty love, at times, subdues us all; - While, vulgar prejudices soar'd above, - NYK gave up all the world,--well lost for love. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Omnia vincit amor et nos cedamus amori. - - -NOTES. - -[6] See the Tyburn Chronicle and Newgate lamentations _pro tempore_; -particularly that famous ballad, entitled A merry song about murder, -beginning with, "In Tyburn-road there liv'd a man," &c. - - Yet slight the cause of NYKY's late mishap; - NYK but mistook the colour of the cap: - A common errour, frequent in the Park, - Where love is apt to stumble in the dark. - Why rais'd the haughty female head so high, - With the tall caps of grenadiers to vie? - Why does it like tremendous figure make, - To subject purblind lovers to mistake?[7] - Or rather why, in these enlighten'd times, - Should rigid Nature call such errours crimes? - "Thou Nature art my goddess," saith the play; - But even Shakespeare's text hath had its day. - More gentle custom no such rigour knows; - And custom into second nature grows. - Let vulgar passions move the vulgar mind, - Superior souls feel motives more refin'd: - Among the low-bred English slow advance - Th' Italian _gusto_ and _bon ton_ of France. - Strange to the classic lore of Greece and Rome, - And rudely nurs'd in ignorance at home, - The tasteless herd e'en construe into sin, - That poets should in metaphor lie in, - While I, their best man-midwife, must be sham'd, - Whene'er the Fashionable Lover's nam'd. - - -NOTES. - -[7] NYKY is near sighted. - - But Candour's veil love's foibles still should cover - And NYK be stil'd a FASHIONABLE LOVER.[8] - To polish'd travellers is only known - That taste which makes the ancient arts our own; - Which shares with Rome in every gem antique; - Which blends the modern with the ancient Greek; - Improves on both, and greatly soars above, - In pure philanthropy, Platonic love; - That love which burns with undistinguish'd rage, - And spares in fondness neither sex nor age? - Ah! therefore why in these enlighten'd times - Sould rigid Nature call such errours crimes? - Must not the taste of Attic wits be nice? - Can antient virtue be a modern vice? - The Mantuan bard, or else his scholiast lies,[9] - Virgil the chaste, nay Socrates the wise. - - -NOTES. - -[8] - - "_If any author of prolific brains - In this good company feels labour-pains; - If any gentle poet big with rhyme - Has run his reckoning out and gone his time: - Know such that at our hospital of muses - He may lie-in in private if he chuses; - We've single lodgings there for secret sinners - With good encouragement for your beginners._" - - Prologue to the FASHIONABLE LOVER. - -It is indeed now plain enough that ROSCIUS has given great -encouragement to _secret sinners_; but I would advise none of our -poets to lie in again in private; but to remember the fate of a late -tragedy and farce. Poor _Clementina_, and the lady _An hour before -marriage_, both privately lay-in and miscarried. - -[9] The Jesuit Ruaeus begins the argument of Virgil's second Eclogue -with the following explicit declaration, _Amabat Virgilius puerum_. - - The gay Petronius, sophists, wits and bards, - Of old, bestow'd on youth their soft regards; - In modish dalliance pass'd their harmless time - Ev'n modish now in soft Italia's clime. - Could lightenings ever issue from above - To blast poor men for such a crime as love; - When the lewd daughters of incestuous Lot - Were both with child by their own father got? - Poor goody Lot indeed might be in fault, - And justly turn'd to monumental salt: - The matrimonial emblem of a wife: - Needs must be salt a dish to keep for life! - A fable Sodom's fate: in Heav'n above - All is made up of harmony and love; - That such its vengeance I believe not, I; - Historians err and Hebrew Jews will lie. - Sing then, my Muse, a more engaging strain - To lure my NYKY back to Drury-lane. - Tell him the fancied danger all is o'er; - Home he may come and love as heretofore. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin. - ---- Deos didici securum agere aevum - Nec si quid miri faciat natura, deos id - Tristes ex alto coeli demittere tecto. - ---- ---- Credat Judaeus Apella, - Non ego. ---- - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - - In vain the vulgar shall for vengeance call, - Or move the justices at Hickes's-hall; - In vain grand juries shall be urg'd by law - In his indictment not to leave a flaw. - Ev'n at the bar should NYKY stand arraign'd, - No verdict 'gainst him should be there obtain'd; - Nay, by the laws and customs of the land, - Tho' trembling NYKY should convicted stand, - The candid jury shall be mov'd t'acquit - A gentleman, an author, and a wit: - For liberal minds with candour ever see - The milder failings of humanity! - Smooth-spoken MANSFIELD,[10] with his vacant face, - In softening accents first shall ope his case; - Which to defend, the want of Merlin's cunning - Shall be supplied by that of Grimbald DUNNING.[11] - E'en at th' Old-Bailey they for NYK shall plead; - Where would they not, if they were largely fee'd? - Were NYKY summon'd to the bar below, - Well-fee'd these faithful barristers would go; - - -NOTES. - -[10] Not the Judge of that name; but the barrister, who, is by no -means a judge---- of any thing. - -[11] See King Arthur, lately revived at Drury-lane Theatre, and -attend the pleadings in our courts of law and equity at Westminster, -Guildhall, and Lincoln's-inn. - - Their tale to Minos would they glibly tell; - Minos the MANSFIELD, or Chief Judge, of Hell.[12] - Nor need my NYKY fear a London jury - Will e'er be influenced with a female fury. - Can they who let a prov'd assassin 'scape - Hang up poor NYKY for a friendly rape? - If in the dark to stab, be thought no crime, - What may'nt be hop'd from jurymen in time? - Soon Southern modes, no doubt, they'll reconcile - With the plain manners of our Northern isle; - And e'en new-married citizens be brought - To reckon S----y a venial fault: - When if GEORGE BELLAS,[13] cruel and unkind, - Blast not their loves, with rude tempestuous wind, - In common-council Corydon may burn, - And Corydons for Corydon in turn, - Till every alderman about the chair - Find his Alexis in a new lord-mayor. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ex illo Corydon, Corydon est tempore nobis. - - -NOTES. - -[12] Minos is reported by the poets to have been raised to this high -office for his impartiality in the administration of Justice here on -earth: what a pity that office is not soon to become vacant; as it -might be most luckily filled by as worthy a successor. - -[13] A boisterous mock-patriot, supposed to be descended from Eolus -and Amphitrite, being famous for his mackarel expeditions, his musical -knowledge of the fundamental base and public performances on the -bassoon. - - Sing then, O Muse, a more pathetic strain, - To lure my gentle NYKY back again. - For, sure as Thames resembles Tyber's tide, - Shall Macaronis soon possess Cheapside; - As petty-jury-men in judgment sit, - And ev'ry Corydon, with NYK, acquit. - Yes by this knife, this useful[14] knife, I swear, - Which for my lov'd B----TTI's sake I wear; - This knife, whose haft, at Stratford Jubilee, - For ever left its parent mulberry tree; - For thence it grew, tho', tipt with steel so fine, - It now will serve to stab with, or to dine; - That tree, which late on Avon's border grew; - By Shakespeare planted; Warwick lads say true; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - All' ek toi ereo, kai epi megan horkon omoumai, - Nai ma tode skeptron, to men oupote phylla kai ozous - Physei, epeide prota tomen en oressi leloipen, - Oud' anathelesei. - - HOM. - - Ut sceptrum hoc (sceptrum dextra nam forte gerebat) - Nunquam fronde levi fundet virgulta nec umbras; - Cum semel in sylvis imo de stirpe recisum, - Matre caret posuitque comas et brachia ferro - Olim arbos, nunc artificis manus aere decoro. - Inclusit patribusque dedit gestare Latinis. - - VIRG. - - -NOTES. - -[14] See the utility of this knife in a late Sessions-paper. - - By this most precious relick, here I pledge - Myself to save him from the halter's edge: - And not myself alone, but ev'ry friend - Shall all his interest and assistance lend. - Quaint B----, beholding the rude mob with scorn, - Shall tell how Irish bards are gentle born; - Next I, to captivate the learned bench, - Will strait affirm that NYKY writes good French;[15] - Thy timid nature JOHNSON shall maintain,[16] - In words no dictionary can explain. - Goldsmith, good-natur'd man, shall next defend, - His foster-brother,[17] countryman, and friend: - Shall prove the humbler passions, now and then, - Are incidental to us little men; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Hanc ego magnanimi spolium Didymaonis hastam, - Ut semel est avulsa jugis a matre perempta, - Quae neque jam frondes virides neque proferet umbras, - Fida ministeria et duras obit horrida pugnas - Testor. - - VAL. FLAC. - - -NOTES. - -[15] See the Sessions-paper; in which this admirable plea is made use -of by ROSCIUS to exculpate a culprit accused of murder. - -[16] See the same; in which this pompous pseudo-philosopher affects to -suppose cowardice incompatible with the character of an Italian bravo. - -[17] So called from having not long since made one in a poetical -triumvirate, which gave occasion to the following verses in imitation -of Dryden's famous epigram on Milton; - - "Three poets in three distant ages born," &c. - - - And that the part our gentle NYKY play'd - Was but philosophy in masquerade.[18] - Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore, - But to his ROSCIUS, Muse, my NYK restore. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - -NOTES. - - _Poor Dryden! what a theme hadst thou, - Compar'd to that which offers now? - What are your Britons, Romans, Grecians, - Compar'd with thorough-bred Milesians? - Step into Griffin's shop, he'll tell ye - Of Goldsmith, Bickerstaff, and Kelly, - Three poets of one age and nation, - Whose more than mortal reputation, - Mounting in trio to the skies - O'er Milton's fame and Virgil's flies. - Nay, take one Irish evidence for t'other, - Ev'n Homer's self is but their foster-brother._ - -[18] It seems indeed to be growing into fashion for philosophy to go -in masquerade, if there be any truth in the subject of the following; -which lately appeared in the public prints. - - To Doctor GOLDSMITH, on seeing his name in the list of the - mummers at the late masquerade. - - "Say should the philosophic mind disdain - That good which makes each humbler bosom vain; - Let school-taught pride dissemble all it can, - Such little things are great to little man." - - GOLDSMITH. - - _How widely different, Goldsmith, are the ways - Of doctors now, and those of ancient days! - Theirs taught the truth in academic shades, - Ours haunt lewd hops, and midnight masquerades! - So chang'd the times! say philosophic sage, - Whose genius suits so well this tasteful age, - Is the Pantheon, late a sink obscene, - Become the fountain of chaste Hippocrene? - Or do thy moral numbers quaintly flow - Inspir'd by th' Aganippe of Soho?_ - - - For who like him will patch and pilfer plays, - Yielding to me the profit and the praise? - Tho' cheap in French translations MURPHY deals; - For cheap he well may vend the goods he steals; - Tho' modest CRADDOC scorns to sell his play, - But gives the good-for-nothing thing away; - What tho' the courtly CUMBERLAND succeeds - In writing stuff no man of letters reads; - Tho' sense and language are expell'd the stage; - For nonsense pleases best a senseless age; - What tho' the author of the New Bath Guide - Up to the skies my talents late hath cried;[19] - - -NOTES. - - _Do wisdom's sons gorge cates and vermicelli - Like beastly Bickerstaff or bothering Kelly? - Or art thou tir'd of th' undeserv'd applause - Bestow'd on bards affecting virtue's cause? - Wouldst thou, like Sterne, resolv'd at length to thrive, - Turn pimp and die cock-bawd at sixty-five, - Is this the good that makes the humble vain, - The good philosophy should not disdain - If so, let pride dissemble all it can, - A modern sage is still much less than man._ - - MORNING CHRONICLE. - -[19] The compliments passed between these celebrated geniuses indeed -were mutual; Mr. A. commending ROSCIUS for his fine acting, and -Roscius in return Mr. A. for his fine writing. The panegyric on both -sides was equally modest and just; and yet some snarling epigrammatist -could not forbear throwing out the following ill-natured jeu d'esprit -on the occasion. - -On the poetical compliments lately passed between Mess. G. and A. - - _When mincing masters, met with misses, - Pay mutual compliments for kisses; - Miss Polly sings no doubt divinely, - And master Jacky spouts as finely. - But, how I hate such odious greeting, - When two old stagers have a meeting - Foh! out upon the filthy pother! - What!_ men _beslobber one another!_ - - - Tho' humble HIFFERNAN in pay, I keep, - Still my fast friend, when he is fast asleep; - Tho' long the Hodmandod my friend hath been, - With the land-tortoise earth'd at Turnham-Green:[20] - Tho' HARRY WOODFALL, BALDWIN, EVANS, SAY,[21] - My puffs in fairest order full display; - - -NOTES. - -[20] Two amphibious monsters, well known in the republic of letters as -editors of the Critical and Monthly Reviews. The latter seems to be -compared by the poet to a land-tortoise buried in the earth, on -account of the slowness of its motion and the clouds of dust and -dullness with which it is surrounded: the former hath been long known -by the above appellation from the following humorous description. - -LUSUS NATURAE TYPOGRAPHUS. - - Monstrum horrendum informe ingens cui lumen ademptum. - - VIRG. - - I thought some of Nature's journeymen had made men, and not made them - well; they imitated humanity so abominably - - SHAKESPEARE. - - _In Nature's workshop, on a day, - Her journeymen inclin'd to play, - Half drunk 'twixt cup and can, - Took up a clod, which she with care - Was modelling a huge sea bear, - And swore they'd make't a man._ - - _They tried, but, handling ill their tools, - Formed, like a pack of bungling fools, - A thing so gross and odd; - That, when it roll'd about the dish, - They knew not if 'twere flesh or fish, - A man or Hodmandod._ - - _Yet, to compleat their piece of fun, - They christen'd it Arch Hamilton; - "But what can this thing do?" - Kick it down stairs; the devil's in't - If it won't do to write and print - The Critical Review._ - - KENRICK. - - -[21] Editors and printers of news-papers, well known to the public -for their impartiality in regard to ROSCIUS. - - Impartially insert each friendly PRO, - Suppressing ever CON of every foe;[22] - For well I ween, they wot that _cons_ and _pros_ - Will tend my faults and follies to expose: - Tho' mighty TOM doth still my champion prove, - And LOCKYER's gauntlet be a chicken glove. - - -NOTES. - -[22] A recent instance of this must not pass unnoticed. In the Public -Advertiser appeared lately the following quaint panegyric, suggested -probably to ROSCIUS himself by his brother GEORGE the attorney. - - Nature } - against } Notice of Process. - G---- } - - _Dame Nature against G---- now by me - Her action brings, and thus she grounds her plea. - "I never made a man but still - You acted like that man at will; - Yet ever must I hope in vain - To make a man like you again." - Hence ruin'd totally by you, - She brings her suit, &c. &c._ - - B. Solicitor for the Plaintiff. - -In reply to this notice, it is said, the _defendant's plea_ would have -appeared in the same paper; but the cause was obliged to be removed by -_certiorari_ to another court; when it appeared thus: - - Nature } - against } Defendant's Plea. - G---- } - - _For G---- I without a fee - 'Gainst Nature thus put in his plea. - "To make a man, like me, of art, - Is not, 'tis true, dame Nature's part; - I own that Scrub, fool, knave I've play'd - With more success than all my trade; - But prove it, plaintiff, if you can, - That e'er I acted like a man." - Of this we boldly make denial.---- - Join issue, and proceed to trial._ - - A. Attorney for the Defendant. - - - Tho' shambling BECKET,[23] proud to soothe my pride, - Keeps ever shuflling on my right-hand side; - What tho' with well-tim'd flatt'ry, loud he cries, - At each theatric stare, "See, see his eyes!" - What tho' he'll fetch and carry at command, - And kiss, true spaniel-like, his master's hand; - With admiration NYK ne'er heard me speak, - But press'd the kiss of love upon my cheek;[24] - Incessant clapp'd at th'end of every speech; - And, had I bidd'n him, would have kiss'd my b----! - Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore, - But to his ROSCIUS, Muse, my NYK restore. - But hah! what discord strikes my listening ear? - Is NYKY dead, or is some critic near? - Curse on that Ledger and that damn'd Whitehall,[25] - How players and managers they daily maul! - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim. - - -NOTES. - -[23] The famous THOMAS A BECKET, feigned by the poets to have been -drown'd, when, being half-seas over, in claret, he endeavoured to -return to land: on which occasion a wicked wit of the town made the -following epitaph for his tomb. - - _Here lies - That shuffling, shambling, shrugging, shrinking shrimp, - Tom Becket, Mammon's most industrious imp!_ - - -[24] A customary method it seems, of NYKY's expressing his admiration -of the acting of the immortal ROSCIUS. - -[25] News-papers so called, in which ROSCIUS is not a sharer, and -hath not yet come up to the price of their silence. - - Curse on that Morning-Chronicle; whose tale - Is never known with spightful wit to fail. - Curse on that FOOTE; who in ill-fated hour - Trod on the heels of my theatric-power; - Who, ever ready with some biting joke, - My peace hath long and would my heart have broke. - Curse on his horse--one leg! but ONE to break! - "A kingdom for a horse"--to break his neck! - Curse on that STEVENS,[26] with his Irish breeding, - While I am acting, shall that wretch be reading? - Curse on all rivals, or in fame or profit; - The Fantoccini still make something of it![27] - - -NOTES. - -[26] GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS the lecturer, not the Macaroni editor of -Shakespeare. - -[27] What formidable rivals to the immortal ROSCIUS? Harlequin, -Scaramouch, Chimney-sweeper, Bass-viol, Astrologer, Child, Statue and -Parrot! But ROSCIUS having received a formal challenge from Mr. Punch -and his merry family, a pitch'd-battle, for which great preparations -are now making, will be fought between them next winter; when there is -no doubt but the triumphant ROSCIUS will, even at their own weapons, -rout them all. There is the less reason to fear this, as he hath -already exceeded even Mr.---- 's activity in King Richard. It is but -three or four years ago since this mock-monarch died so tamely that he -was hissed off the stage; on which occasion the following epigram -appeared in the papers. - - -ROSCIUS REDIVIVUS. - - _George! did'nt I hear the critics hiss, - When I was dead?--"Yes, brother, yes, - You did not die in high rant." - Nay, if they think a dying king - Like Harlequin convuls'd, should spring, - Let ---- be hence their tyrant._ - - - Curse on that KENRICK,[28] with his caustic pen, - Who scorns the hate, and hates the love of MEN; - Who with such ease envenom'd satire writes, - Deeper his ink than aqua fortis[29] bites. - Stand his perpetual-motion[30] ever still; - Or, if it move, oh, let it move uphill. - The curse of Sisiphus, oh, let him feel; - The curse of Fortune's still recurring wheel; - - -NOTES. - -ROSCIUS, however, hath chang'd his mind, and acquired new elastic -powers; in so much that the following complimentary verses appeared on -the agility, which he lately displayed in the performance of that -character. - - _Be dumb, ye criticks, dare to hiss no more - While crowded boxes, pit and galleries roar. - Who says that Roscius feels the hand of Time, - To blast his blooming laurels in their prime? - With ever supple limbs and pliant tongue, - Roscius, like Hebe, will be ever young. - See and believe your eyes----did e'er you see - So great a feat of pure agility? - Nor Hughes nor Astley, vaulting in the air, - Like Roscius makes the struck spectators stare. - Nor Lun nor Woodward ever gave the spring, - He gave last night in Richard, dying king! - Th' immortal actor, who can die so clever, - In spite of fate will live to die for ever!_ - -[28] - - A Briton blunt, bred to plain mathematics, - Who hates French b--gres, and Italian pathics. - - -[29] The plaintive ROSCIUS seems here to have an eye to the following -lines: - - _The wits who drink water, and suck sugar-candy, - Impute the strong spirit of_ Kenrick _to brandy. - They are not so much out: the matter in short is - He sips_ aqua-vitae _and spits_ aqua-fortis. - - PUBLIC ADV. - - -[30] This multifarious genius pretends to have discovered the -Perpetual motion, but it must be a mere pretence; as he is weak enough -to think the public ought to reward him for his discovery, and offers -to disclose it on the simple terms of no purchase no pay. - - That upward roll'd with anxious toil and pain, - The summit almost gain'd, rolls back again. - Ne'er shall his FALSTAFF[31] come again to life; - Ne'er shall be play'd again his WIDOW'D WIFE;[32] - Ne'er will I court again his stubborn Muse, - But for a pageant would his play refuse. - While puff and pantomime will gull the town, - 'Tis good to keep o'erweening merit down; - With BICKERSTAFF and CUMBERLAND go shares, - And grind the poets as I grind the players. - - -IMITATIONS. - - Aut petes aut urges ruiturum, Sysiphe, saxum. - - -NOTES. - -[31] Falstaff's Wedding, a play written in imitation of Shakespeare; -at first rejected, as unfit for the theatre, on account of having so -many of Shakespeare's known characters in it; tho' the manager himself -afterwards brought on a pageant, in which were almost all -Shakespeare's known characters; when finding it difficult to make any -of them speak with propriety, he contented himself with instructing -them to bite their thumbs, screw up their mouths, and make faces at -each other, to the great edification of the audience.--This play -indeed was afterwards performed, and tho' received with the most -confirmed and general applause, has however never since been acted, -either for the author's emolument or the entertainment of the publick. - -[32] Another comedy, nearly under the same predicament with respect -to the town: having been performed but once since its first run, tho' -received with similar approbation; the manager in the mean while -having brought on, and repeatedly acted, the performances of his -favourite play-wrights, to almost empty houses: and yet ROSCIUS hath -all the while pretended to have the highest opinion of the talents, -and the greatest regard for the interest of the writer.---- The -manager claims a legal right, indeed, as patentee, to perform what -plays he pleases; but tho' the play-house and patent be his property, -he has no liberal right to make, at pleasure, a property of the -players, the poets and the publick! - - Curse on that KENRICK, foul of spleen and whim! - What are my puffs, and what my gains to him? - If poor and proud, can he of right complain - That wealthier men and wittier are as vain? - Why must he hint that I am past my prime, - To blast my fading laurels ere their time? - Death to my fame, and what, alas, is worse, - 'Tis death, damnation, to my craving purse; - Capacious purse! by PLUTUS form'd to hold, - (The God of Wealth) the devil and all of gold. - Insatiate purse, that never yet ran o'er, - But swallows all, and gapes, like Hell, for more. - And yet, alas! how much the world will lye! - They call me miser; but no miser I; - He, brooding o'er his bags, delighted sits, - And laughs to scorn the jests of envious wits; - If fast his doors, he sets his heart at rest, - And dotes with rapture on his iron chest; - No galling paper-squibs his spirits teize, - But ev'n the boys may hoot him if they please. - He scorns the whistling of an empty name, - While I am torn 'twixt avarice and fame; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Sordidus ac dives, populi contemnere voces - Si solitus: populus me sibilat: at mihi plaudo - Ipse domi, simul ac nummos contemplor in arca. - - - While I, so tremblingly alive all o'er, - Still bleed and agonize at every pore; - At ev'ry hiss am harrow'd up with fear, - And burst with choler at a critic's sneer. - Rack'd by the gout and stone, and struck with age, - Prudence and Ease advise to quit the stage; - But Fame still prompts, and Pride can feel no pain; - And Avarice bids me sell my soul for gain. - Bring NYKY back, O Muse! by verse divine, - The Trojan-Greeks were once transformed to swine. - By verse divine B----TTI 'scap'd the rope: - Now love is known, what may not lovers hope! - Ev'n as with _Griffins_[33] stallions late have join'd - With blood-hounds goats may litter, as in kind; - - -IMITATIONS. - - Ducite ab urbe domum, mea carmina ducite Daphnim: - Carminibus Circe socios mutavit Ulyssei: - Carmina vel coelo possunt deducere lunam. - Nunc scio quid sit amor---- - ---- ---- quid non speremus amantes? - Jungentur jam _Gryphes_ equis, aevoque sequenti - Cum canibus timidi venient ad pocula damae. - Torva leaena lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam, - Te Corydon, O Alexis: trahit sua quemque voluptas. - - -NOTES. - -[33] Unnatural monsters, familiar only with the poets. - - Nay wanton kids devouring wolves may greet, - And wolves with loving lyonesses meet. - By different means is different love made known. - And each fond lover will prefer his own. - Strange lot of love! two friends, my soul's delight, - Men call that M----r, this a Catamite! - Yet bring him back; for who chaste roundelay - Shall sing, now B--ST--FF is driv'n away? - Who now correct, for modest Drury-lane, - Loose Wycherly's or Congreve's looser vein? - With nice decorum shunning naughty jokes, - Exhibit none but decent, dainty folks?[34] - Ah me! how wanton wit will shame the stage, - And shock this delicate, this virtuous age! - - -NOTES. - -[34] NYKY was employed by ROSCIUS to correct the Plain-dealer of -Wycherly; which he accordingly attempted, and inscribed the attempt to -his patron, "as a tribute of _affection_ and esteem for his many -shining and _amiable_ qualities." "The licentiousness of Wycherly's -muse," says this modern corrector, "rendered her shocking to us, with -all her charms: or, in other words, we could allow no charms in a -tainted beauty, who brought contagion along with her." Of the play of -the Plain-dealer, in particular, he intimates that it had been long -excluded the theatre; because, to the honour of the present age, it -was immoral and indecent: that on a close examination, he found in it -excessive obscenity; that the character of Manly was rough even to -outrageous brutality; and that he thought it necessary to work the -whole materials up again, with a mixture of alloy agreeable to the -rules of modern refinement! SEE PREFACE TO B---- FF'S PLAIN-DEALER. -What a champion for decency and delicacy, morality and humanity! What -improvement may not sterling wit receive from the mixture of such -alloy! What an idea may we not hence acquire of modern refinement! - - How will _Plain-dealers_[35] triumph, to my sorrow! - And PAPHOS rise o'er SODOM and GOMORRAH! - - -NOTES. - -[35] A character thus admirably depicted by Wycherly, in the scene -between Manly and Plausible. - -_Manly._ I have more of the mastiff than the spaniel in me, I own it: -I cannot fawn, and fetch and carry; neither will I ever practise that -servile complaisance, which some people pique themselves on being -masters of.---- I will not whisper my contempt or hatred; call a man -fool or knave by signs and mouths, over his shoulder; while I have him -in my arms: I will not, as you do---- - -_Plausible._ As I do! Heaven defend me! upon my honour! I never -attempted to abuse or lessen any one in my life. - -_Manly._ What! you were afraid? - -_Plausible._ No: but seriously I hate to do a rude thing. No, faith, I -speak well of all mankind. - -_Manly._ I thought so: but know that this is the worst sort of -detraction, for it takes away the reputation of the few good men in -the world by making all alike! Now I speak ill of many men, because -they deserve it. - -[Illustration] - - - - -APPENDIX. - - -Certain circumstances, to which the author of the foregoing piece was -an utter stranger, having happened about the time of its publication, -and given rise to rumours equally false and foreign to the party; it -appears that Roscius, or some of his friends, was pleased to insert -the following queries in the Morning Chronicle of July 2d. - - "Candour presents her compliments to Mr.----, she begs his - pardon,---- to Dr.---- _Kenrick_, and desires to ask him a few - simple questions; to which, if he be the _Plain-dealer_ he - pretends, he will give a plain and direct answer. - - _Query_ I. Whether you are not the author of the eclogue, - entitled, _Love in the Suds_, as well as of the letter prefixed to - it? - - II. Whether you did not mean, though you have artfully evaded the - law, by affecting the translation of a classical cento, to throw - out the most scandalous insinuations against the character of - Roscius? - - III. Whether you were not likewise the author of an infamous, - anonymous paragraph in a public paper; for which that paper is - under a just prosecution? - - IV. Whether you have not openly acknowledged notwithstanding, that - you really entertained a very different opinion of Roscius? - - V. Whether any cause of dispute, that might subsist between you - and Roscius, can authorize so cruel, so unmanly an attack? - - VI. Whether the brother of Roscius did not personally wait on you - to require, in his name, the satisfaction of a gentleman, which - you refused him? - - CANDOUR." - -To these queries, the author judged it expedient to make the following -reply in the same paper of July 4th. - - -To CANDOUR. - - MADAM, - - "Though I think your signature a misnomer, to shew that I a no - stranger to the name and quality you assume, I shall not stand on - the punctilio of your being an _anonymous_ querist; but answer - your several questions explicitly. - - I. I am the author of the eclogue you mention. - - II. I did not mean to throw out the _most_ scandalous insinuations - on the character of Roscius, nor any insinuation _more_ scandalous - than his conduct. How far that has been so, he knows best, and is - left to make the application. - - III. An _infamous_ paragraph I _cannot_ write; and an _anonymous_ - one I _will not_ write, to prejudice my greatest enemy. As to that - in question, I have not, to this hour, even seen it. CALUMNY I - _detest_; but I think _vice_ should be exposed to _infamy_, nor - have I so much _false delicacy_ as to conceive, it should be - treated with _tenderness_ in proportion as it is _abominable_. - - IV. I have not acknowledged that I entertain a _very different_ - opinion of Roscius; on the contrary, I declare, that I entertain a - _very indifferent_ opinion of him. - - V. As to the cause of our dispute, I should be very ready to - submit it to the publick, were I egotist enough to think it - deserved their attention. - - VI. The brother of Roscius _did personally wait_ on me, to desire - I would meet "him, the said Roscius, who would bring a friend with - him; I being at liberty to do the same;" but as nothing of time, - place, or weapon was mentioned, I did not look on this message as - a challenge; nor well could I, as I never heard of requiring - _gentleman's satisfaction_ by _letter of attorney_, and the - professed end of our meeting turned merely on a matter of - business.--It is possible, indeed, the messenger, otherwise - instructed, might _imagine_ it such, especially as, it seems, his - head has teemed with nothing but challenges and duels, since his - magnanimous monomachy with one of his brother Roscius's - candle-snuffers.--That Roscius himself, however, did not mean to - send me a challenge, is plain, from his solliciting afterwards by - letter, a conference in the presence only of a common friend to - both: a request that would have been complied with, had not he - thought proper, in a most ungentleman-like manner, to make a - confidant, in the meantime, of a booby of a bookseller, who had - the folly and impudence to declare that he would, on _his_ - [Roscius's] account, _take an opportunity_ to do _me_ some - desperate mischief.--Lest I should be yet supposed, from the - purport of this last query, to have any fear of a personal - encounter with the doughty Roscius, I require only that it may be - on an equal footing. I am neither so extravagantly fond of life, - nor think myself so consequential in it, as to fear the end of it - from such an antagonist; nor, to say the truth, should I have any - qualms of conscience, if nothing less will satisfy him, about - putting an end to so insignificant a being as his: but, as "the - race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong," it is but - right to provide against a mishap. Roscius has a large fortune, - and little or no family to leave it to: I have a large family, and - little or no fortune to leave it. Let Roscius but previously - settle _only half_ his estate on my heirs, on condition that _he_ - deprives them of a protector, and I will meet him to-morrow, and - engage at his own weapons, not only him, but his brother George - into the bargain.[36] - - And now, Madam CANDOUR, give me leave to ask _you_ a question or - two, in my turn. - -[36] The above pleasantry being misconstrued by some of Roscius's -friends to the disadvantage of the author, the latter thought himself -under the necessity of seriously acquainting the former, of his being -ready, as he is, at any time, to give him such satisfaction as a -gentleman, who supposes himself injured, has a right to require. - - _Qu._ I. Whether, from many gross instances of misbehaviour, - _Roscius_ hath not long had sufficient reason to suspect the - detestable character of _Nyky_? - - II. Whether, therefore, granting Roscius to be himself - _immaculate_, he is excusable for his notorious partialities to - such a character? - - III. Whether he has any right to complain of unjust severity, in - being ludicrously reproached with such partialities, by a writer, - whom he hath treated, even in favour of that very wretch, with - disrespect, with insolence, with injustice. - - W. KENRICK." - - * * * * * - -Instead of _candidly_ replying, however, to the above three queries, a -very difficult task, indeed, to Roscius, he caused the Court of King's -Bench to be moved for a rule to shew cause, why leave should not be -given him to file an information against the author for a libel: which -being granted of course, the same was exultingly announced in the -following paragraphs inserted in all the news-papers: - -"Yesterday morning Mr. Dunning made a motion in the Court of King's -Bench, for a rule to shew cause why an information should not be laid -against the author of Love in the Suds. When the court was pleased to -grant a rule for the first day of next term. The poem was read in -court by the Clerk of the Crown, and afforded no small diversion when -it came to that part which reflects upon a certain Chief Justice, who -was present all the time. - -"Besides Mr. Wallace and Mr. Dunning, who are employed by great actor, -in his prosecution of some detestable charges which have been lately -urged with _as much folly as wickedness_ against his character, Mr. -Murphy and Mr. Mansfield are also engaged, and the cause now becomes a -matter of much expectation with the publick." - - * * * * * - -To these paragraphs the author judged it necessary to make the -following reply, in the above-mentioned Morning Chronicle; almost all -the rest of the news-papers, by the indefatigable industry and -powerful influence of Roscius, a proprietor in most of them, being -shut against him. - - -The AUTHOR of LOVE in the SUDS to the PRINTER of the MORNING -CHRONICLE. - - SIR, - - "In reprehending others you should ever be cautious of falling - into the error you condemn. In yesterday's paper you indirectly - charge me, among others, with having "urged a detestable charge - with as much folly as wickedness against a certain great - actor."--What other people have done I know not, nor does it - concern me; but I may safely defy all the Lawyers in - Westminster-Hall fairly to deduce such a charge as you hint at - from the eclogue in question. In this respect it is certainly as - innocent as the great actor's Jubilee Ode! But granting it - otherwise with any one else, how can you take upon you to say that - such a charge is urged _foolishly and wickedly_? Can _you_ know it - to be false or groundless? And if not, on what grounds do you - charge the accusers with _folly_ and _wickedness?_ Why does not - the CANDOUR of the great actor, reply to the Queries put to him in - your paper of Saturday last? But no; unable to justify himself at - the bar of the publick, he flies for refuge to the quirks and - quibbles of Westminster-Hall; and even this at the latter end of a - term, in order to deceive the town into a notion that the court - will countenance his prosecution. Why was not his motion made - sooner, that cause might have been shewn in time, and the futility - of it made immediately evident? Believe me, Sir, before an end is - put to this business, the publick will be better enabled to judge - on which side the _folly_ and _wickedness_ lies, than you appear - to do at present. - - I am, - yours, &c. - W. K. - - -FINIS. - - - - - Shortly will be published, - - A - - LETTER - - TO - - DAVID GARRICK, Esq. - - OCCASIONED - - By his moving the Court of King's Bench, for Leave to file an - Information against the Author of _Love in the Suds, or the - Lamentation of Roscius for the Loss of his Nyky_.---- In which the - real Purport of that Performance, with the Motives for its - publication will be explained and justified. - - -BY THE AUTHOR. - - _----mitto maledicta omnia: - Rem ipsam putemus._ - - ADELPHI. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Love in the Suds: a Town Eclogue., by -William Kenrick - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE IN THE SUDS: A TOWN ECLOGUE. *** - -***** This file should be named 40188.txt or 40188.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/0/1/8/40188/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Joseph Cooper -and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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