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diff --git a/39364-8.txt b/39364-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6357d82 --- /dev/null +++ b/39364-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10380 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Rich Relatives, by Compton Mackenzie + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license + + +Title: Rich Relatives + +Author: Compton Mackenzie + +Release Date: April 3, 2012 [EBook #39364] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RICH RELATIVES *** + + + + +Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images available at The Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + +RICH RELATIVES + +_BY THE SAME AUTHOR_ + + THE PASSIONATE ELOPEMENT + CARNIVAL + SINISTER STREET: VOL. I + SINISTER STREET: VOL. II + GUY AND PAULINE + SYLVIA SCARLETT + SYLVIA AND MICHAEL + POOR RELATIONS + THE VANITY GIRL + +[Copyright: Martin Secker] + +RICH RELATIVES + +_By COMPTON MACKENZIE_ + +LONDON: MARTIN SECKER + +NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI MCMXXI + + +TO ALICE AND CHRISTOPHER STONE THIS THEME IN A MINOR + +NOVEMBER 15TH, 1920 + + + + +_Chapter One_ + + +It may have been that the porter at York railway station was irritated +by Sunday duty, or it may have been that the outward signs of wealth in +his client were not conspicuous; whatever the cause, he spoke rudely to +her. + +Yet Jasmine Grant was not a figure that ought to have aroused the +insolence of a porter, even if he _was_ on Sunday duty. To be sure, her +black clothes were not fashionable; and a journey from the South of +Italy to the North of England, having obliterated what slight +pretensions to cut they might once have possessed, had left her +definitely draggled. Although the news of having to wait nearly five +hours for the train to Spaborough had brought tears of disappointment +into her eyes, and although the appeal of tears had been spoilt by their +being rubbed off with the back of a dusty glove, Jasmine's beauty was +there all the time--a dark, Southern beauty of jetty lashes curling away +from brown eyes starry-hearted; a slim Southern charm of sunburnt, +boyish hands. Something she had of a young cypress in moonlight, +something of a violoncello, with that voice as deep as her eyes. But for +the porter she was only something of a nuisance, and when she began to +lament again the long wait he broke in as rudely as before: + +"Now it's not a bit of good you nagging at me, miss. If the 4.42 goes at +4.42, I can't make it go before 4.42, can I?" + +Then perhaps the thought of his own daughters at home, or perhaps the +comforting intuition that there would be shrimps for tea at the close of +this weary day, stirred his better nature. + +"Why don't you take a little mouch round the walls? That's what people +mostly does who get stuck in York. They mouch round the walls if it's +fine, like it is, and if it's raining they mouch round the Minster. And +I've known people, I have, who've actually come to York to mouch round +the walls, so you needn't be so aggravated at having to see them whether +you like it or not, as you might say. And now," he concluded, "I suppose +the next thing is you'll want to put your luggage in the cloak-room!" + +He spoke with a sense of sacrilege, as if Jasmine had suggested laying +her luggage on the high altar of the Minster. + +"Well, that means me having to go and get a truck," he grumbled, +"because the cloak-room's at the other end of the station from what we +are here." + +The poor girl was already well aware of the vastness of York railway +station, a vastness that was accentuated by its emptiness on this fine +Sunday afternoon. Fresh tears brimmed over her lids; and as in mighty +limestone caverns stalagmites drop upon the explorer, so now from the +remote roof of glass and iron a smutty drop descended upon Jasmine's +nose. + +"Come far, have you?" asked the porter, with this display of kindly +interest apologizing as it were for the behaviour of the station's roof. + +"Italy." + +"Organland, eh?" + +The thought of Italy turned his mind toward music, and he went whistling +off to fetch a truck, leaving his client beside a heap of luggage that +seemed an intrusion on the Sabbath peace of the railway station. + +From anyone except porters or touring actors accustomed all their lives +to the infinite variations of human luggage, Jasmine's collection, which +alternately in the eyes of its owner appeared much too large and much +too small, too pretentious and too insignificant, too defiant and too +pathetic, might have won more than a passing regard. But since the +sparse frequenters of the station were all either porters or actors, +nobody looked twice at the leather portmanteau stamped SHOLTO GRANT, at +the hold-all of carpet-bagging worked in a design of the Paschal Lamb, +at the two narrow wooden crates labelled with permits to export modern +works of art from Italy, or at a decrepit basket of fruit covered with +vine leaves and tied up with bunches of tricoloured ribbon; and as for +the owner, she was by this time so hopelessly bedraggled by the effort +of bringing this luggage from the island of Sirene to the city of York +only to find that there was no train on to Spaborough for five hours +that nobody looked twice at her. + +Somewhere outside in the sheepish sunlight of England an engine screamed +with delight at having escaped from the station; somewhere deep in the +dust-eclipsed station a retriever howled each time he managed to wind +his chain round the pillar to which it was attached. Then a luggage +train ran down a dulcimer scale of jolts until it finally rumbled away +into silence like the inside of a hungry giant before he falls asleep; +after which there was no sound of anything except the dripping of +condensed steam from the roof to the platform. Jasmine began to wonder +if there would ever be another train to anywhere this Sunday, and if the +porter intended to leave her alone with her luggage on the platform +until to-morrow morning. Everything in England was so different from +what she had been accustomed to all her life; people behaved here with +such rudeness and such evident dislike of being troubled that perhaps +... but her apprehensions were interrupted by the whining of the +porter's truck, which he pushed before him like a truant child being +thumped homeward by its mother. The luggage was put on the truck, and +the porter, cheered by the noise he was making, broke into a vivacious +narrative, of which Jasmine did not understand a single word until he +stopped before the door of the cloak-room and was able to enunciate this +last sentence without the accompaniment of unoiled wheels: + +"...and which, of course, made it very uncomfortable for her through +her being related to them." + +At the moment the difficulty of persuading a surly cloak-room clerk, +even more indignant than the porter at being made to work on Sunday +afternoon, that the two crates were lawful luggage for passengers, +prevented Jasmine's attempting to trace the origin of the porter's last +remark; but when she was blinking in the sunlight outside the station +preparatory to her promenade of the walls of York, it recurred to her, +and its appropriateness to her own situation made her regret that she +had not heard more about _Her_ and _Them_. Was not she herself feeling +so uncomfortable on account of her relationship to _Them_, so miserable +rather that if another obstacle arose in her path she would turn back +and ... yes, wicked though the thought undoubtedly was, and imperil +though it might her soul should she die before it was absolved ... yes, +indeed she really would turn back and drown herself in that _puzzo nero_ +they called the English Channel. Here she was searching for a wall in a +city that looked as large as Naples. Well, if she did not find it, she +would accept her failure as an omen that fate desired her withdrawal +from life. But no sooner had Jasmine walked a short way from the station +than she found that the wall was ubiquitous, and that she would +apparently be unable to proceed anywhere in York without walking on it; +so she turned aside down a narrow passage, climbed a short flight of +steps, and without thinking any more of suicide she achieved that +prospect of the city which had been so highly recommended by the porter. + +It was the midday Sabbath hour, when the bells at last were silent; and +since it was fine August weather, the sky had achieved a watery and +pious blue like a nun's eyes. Before her and behind her the river of the +wall flowed through a champaign of roofs from which towers and spires +rose like trees; but more interesting to Jasmine's lonely mood were the +small back gardens immediately below the parapet on either side, from +which the faintly acrid perfume of late summer flowers came up mingled +with beefy smells from the various windows of the small houses beyond, +where the shadowy inmates were eating their Sunday dinners. She felt +that if this were Italy a friendly hand would be beckoning to her from +one of those windows an invitation to join the party, and it was with +another grudge against England that she sat down alone on a municipal +bench to eat from a triangular cardboard box six triangular ham +sandwiches. The restless alchemy of nature had set to work to change the +essences of the container and the contents, so that the sandwiches +tasted more like cardboard and the cardboard felt more like sandwiches; +no doubt it would even have tasted more like sandwiches if Jasmine had +eaten the box, which she might easily have done, for her taste had been +blunted by the long journey, and she would have chewed ambrosia as +mechanically had ambrosia been offered to her. The sandwiches finished, +she ate half a dozen plums, the stones of which dropped on the path and +joined the stones of other plums eaten by other people on the same bench +that morning. Jasmine's mind went swooping back over the journey, past +the bright azure lakes of Savoy, past the stiff and splendid +_carabinieri_ at the frontier, pausing for a moment to play +hide-and-seek with olives and sea through the tunnels of the _riviera di +levante_ ... and then swooped down, down more swiftly until it reached +the island of Sirene, from which it had been torn not yet four full days +ago; the while Jasmine's foot was arranging the plum stones and a few +loose pebbles into first an S and then an I and then a decrepit R, until +they exhausted themselves over an absurdly elongated E. + +The weathercock of the nearest church steeple found enough wind on this +hot afternoon to indicate waveringly that what wind there was blew from +the South. Some lines of Christina Rossetti often quoted by her father +expressed, as only remembered poetry and remembered scents can, the +inexpressible: + + _To see no more the country half my own,_ + _Nor hear the half-familiar speech,_ + _Amen, I say; I turn to that bleak North_ + _Whence I came forth--_ + _The South lies out of reach._ + _But when our swallows fly back to the South,_ + _To the sweet South, to the sweet South,_ + _The tears may come again into my eyes,_ + _On the old wise,_ + _And the sweet name to my mouth._ + +She evoked the last occasion at which she had heard her father murmur +these lines. They had been dining on the terrace until the last rays of +a crimson sunset had faded into a deep starry dusk. Mr. Cazenove had +been dining with them, and from the street below a mandolin had +decorated with some simple tune memories of bygone years. The two old +friends had talked of the lovely peasant girls that haunted the Sirene +of their youth, a Sirene not yet spoiled by tourists; an island that in +such reminiscence became fabulous like the island of Prospero. + +"But the loveliest of them all was Gelsomina," Mr. Cazenove had +declared. Jasmine was thrilled when she could listen to such tales about +her mother's beauty, that mother who lived for herself only as a figure +in one of her father's landscapes, whose image for herself was merged in +a bunch of red roses, so that even to this day, by dwelling on that +elusive recollection of childhood, the touch of a red rose was the touch +of a human cheek, and she could never see one without a thought of +kisses. + +"Yes, indeed she was! The loveliest of them all," Mr. Cazenove had +repeated. + +Her father had responded with these lines of Christina Rossetti, and she +knew that he was thinking of a fatal journey to England, when the +unparagoned Gelsomina had caught cold and died in Paris of pneumonia on +the way North to attend the death of Grandfather Grant. + +And now her father was dead too. + +In a flood of woeful recollections the incidents of that fatal day last +month overwhelmed her. She felt her heart quicken again with terror; she +saw again the countenance of the fisherman who came with Mr. Cazenove to +tell her that a squall had capsized the little cutter in the Bay of +Salerno, and that the only one drowned was her father. Everybody in +Sirene had been sympathetic, and everybody had bewailed her being alone +in the world until letters had arrived from uncles and aunts in England +to assure her that she should be looked after by them; and then nearly +everybody had insisted that she must leave the island as soon as +possible and take advantage of their offers. Yet here she was, more +utterly alone than ever in this remote city of the North, with only a +few letters from people whom she had never seen and for whom she felt +that she should never have the least affection. She was penitent as soon +as this confession had been wrung from her soul, and penitently she felt +in her bag for the letters from the various relatives who had written to +assure her that she was not as much alone in the world as this Sunday in +York was making her believe. + +Among these envelopes there was one that by its size and stiffness and +sharp edges always insisted on being read first. There was a crest on +the flap and a crest above the address on the blue notepaper. + + 317 Harley Street, W., + + _July 29th._ + + _My dear Jasmine,_ + + _Your Uncle Hector and I have decided that it would be best for you + to leave Italy at once. Even if your father's finances had left you + independent, we should never have consented to your staying on by + yourself in such a place as Sirene. Your uncle was astonished that + you should even contemplate such a course of action, but as it is, + without a penny, you yourself must surely see the impossibility of + remaining there. Your plan of teaching English to the natives + sounds to me ridiculous, and your plan of teaching Italian to + English visitors equally ridiculous. I once had an Italian woman of + excellent family to read Dante with Lettice and Pamela during some + Easter holidays we once spent in Florence, and I distinctly + remember that her bill after three weeks was something under a + sovereign. At the time I remember it struck me as extremely + moderate, but I did not then suppose that a niece of mine would one + day seriously contemplate earning a living by such teaching. No, + the proper course for you is to come to England at once. Your uncle + has received a letter from the lawyer (written, by the way, in most + excellent English, a proof that if the local residents wish to + learn English they can do so already) to say that when the + furniture, books, and clothes belonging to your father have been + sold, there will probably be enough to pay his debts, and I know it + will be a great satisfaction to you to feel that. The cost of your + journey to England your Uncle Hector is anxious to pay himself, and + the lawyer has been instructed to make the necessary arrangement + about your ticket. You will travel second class as far as London, + and from London to Spaborough, where we shall be spending August, + you had better travel third. The lawyer will be sent enough money + to telegraph what day we may expect you. Grant, Strathspey House, + Spaborough, is sufficient address. We have had a great family + council about your future, and I know you will be touched to hear + how anxious all your uncles and aunts have been to help you. But + your Uncle Hector has decided that for the present at any rate you + had better remain with us. How lucky it is that you should be + arriving just when we shall be in a bracing seaside place like + Spaborough, for after all these years in the South you must be + sadly in need of a little really good air. Besides, you will find + us all in holiday mood, just what you require after the sad times + through which you have passed. Later on, when we go back to town, I + daresay I shall be able to find many little ways in which you can + be useful to me, for naturally we do not wish you to feel that we + are encouraging you to be lazy, merely because we do not happen to + approve of your setting up for yourself as a teacher of languages. + By the way, your uncle is not_ Dr. _Grant any longer._ _Indeed he + hasn't been Dr. Grant for a long time._ _Didn't your father tell + you even when he was knighted?_ _But he is now a baronet, and you + should write to him as Sir Hector Grant, Bt._ _Not Bart._ _Your + uncle dislikes the abbreviation Bart._ _And to me, of course, as + Lady Grant, not Mrs. Grant._ + + _Love from us all,_ + + _Your affectionate_ + + _Aunt May._ + +The few tears that Jasmine let fall upon the blue notepaper were +swallowed up in the rivulets of the watermark. Although she was on her +way to meet this uncle and aunt and to be received by them as one of the +family, she felt more lonely than ever, and hurriedly laying the +envelope beside her on the bench, she dipped into the bag for another +letter. + + The Cedars, + + North End Road, + + Hampstead, + + _July 22nd_. + + _Dear Jasmine,_ + + _I had intended to write you before on the part of Uncle Eneas and + myself to say how shocked we were at the thought of your being left + all alone in the world._ _Your Aunt May writes to me that for the + present at any rate you will be with her, which will be very nice + for you, because the honour which has just been paid to the family + by making your Uncle Hector a baronet will naturally entail a + certain amount of extra entertaining._ _I am only afraid that after + such a merry household The Cedars will seem very dull, but Uncle + Eneas has a lot of interesting stories about the Near East, and if + you are fond of cats you will have plenty to do._ _We are great cat + people, and I shall be glad to have someone with me who is really + fond of them, as I hope you are._ _It is quite the country where we + live in Hampstead, and the air is most bracing, as no doubt you + know._ _I wonder if you ever studied massage?_ + + _Love from us both,_ + + _Your affectionate_ + + _Aunt Cuckoo._ + +Jasmine tried to remember what her father had said at different times +about his second brother, but she could only recall that once in the +middle of a conversation about Persian rugs he had said to Mr. Cazenove, +"I have a brother in the East, poor chap," and that when Mr. Cazenove +had asked him where, he had replied, "Constantinople or Jerusalem--some +well-known place. He's in the consular service. Or he was." He had not +seemed to be much interested in his brother's whereabouts or career. And +then he had added meditatively, "He married a woman with a ridiculous +name, poor creature. She was the daughter of somebody or other somewhere +in the East." But her father was always vague like that about +everything, and he always said "poor chap" about every man and "poor +creature" about every woman. He had a kind and generous disposition, and +therefore he felt everybody was to be pitied. Jasmine wished now that +she had asked more about Uncle Eneas and Aunt Cuckoo. Cuckoo! Yes, it +was a ridiculous name. Such a ridiculous name that it sounded as remote +from reality as Rumplestiltzkin. No girl, however large the quantity of +flax she must spin into gold before sunrise, could have guessed Aunt +Cuckoo. + + _To-day I brew, to-morrow I bake,_ + _And to-morrow the King's daughter I shall take,_ + _For no one from wheresoever she came_ + _Could guess that Aunt Cuckoo was my name._ + +Jasmine was feeling that she ought not to be laughing at her father's +relatives like this so soon after he had died, when suddenly she woke up +to the fact that they were just as much, even more, her relatives too. +It was like waking up on Monday morning during the year in which she was +sent to school with the Sisters of the Seven Dolours in Naples and could +only come back to Sirene for the week-ends. With a shudder she placed +Aunt Cuckoo on the bench and picked up Aunt Mildred. + + 23 The Crescent, + + Curtain Wells, + + _July 20th.: + + _My dear Jasmine,_ + + _Uncle Alec and I were terribly shocked to hear of your father's + accident. Only a few weeks before I was suggesting a little visit + to Rome, a place which Uncle Alec knows very well indeed, for he + was military attaché there for six months in 1904, and was rather + surprised that your father never took the trouble to come and visit + him. Unfortunately, however, His Serene Highness was not well + enough to make the journey this spring. Of course you know that for + some time now Prince Adalbert of Pomerania has been living with us. + You will like him so much when you pay us your visit. He is as + simple as a child. We thought at first that he might be difficult + to manage, but he has been no trouble and when the Grand Duke + graciously entrusted his son to our keeping without an A.D.C., it + was quite easy, because it left us a spare room. Baron Miltzen, + the Chamberlain, runs over occasionally to see how the Prince is + getting on, but the Grand Duchess, who never forgets that she was + an English princess, prefers to make her younger son as English as + possible, and will not allow any German doctors to interfere with + the treatment prescribed by your Uncle Hector. Of course the poor + boy will never be well enough to take an active part in the affairs + of his country, and as he is not the heir, there is not much + opposition in Pomerania to his being educated abroad. Indeed Baron + Miltzen said to me only the last time he ran over that he thought + an English education was probably the best in the world for anyone + as simple as the dear Prince. If we cannot get away to the Riviera + this winter you will have to pay us a visit and help to keep the + Prince amused. We have dispensed with ceremony almost entirely, + because we found that it excited the Prince too much. In fact it + was finally decided to entrust him to us, because after the first + levee he attended the poor fellow always wanted to walk backwards, + and it took us quite a little time to cure him of this habit_. + + _Love from us both,_ + + _Your affectionate_ + + _Aunt Mildred._ + +Indeed Jasmine had heard about the Prince, because her father always +told everybody he met that one of his brothers had been fool enough to +take charge of a royal lunatic. She remembered thinking that he seemed +proud of the fact, and she could never understand why, particularly as +he spoke so contemptuously of his brother's part in the association. +"Here's pleasant news," her father used to say, "my brother the Colonel +has turned himself into a court flunkey. That's a pretty position for a +Grant! Yes, yes.... He's taken charge of Prince Adalbert of Pomerania, +the second son of the Grand Duke of Pomerania. You remember, who married +Princess Caroline, the Duke of Gloucester's third daughter? I'm ashamed +of my brother. I suppose he had to accept, though; I know it's hard to +get out of these things when you mix yourself up with royalty. I really +believe that I'm the only independent member of the family--the only one +who can call his life his own." + +Jasmine quickly took out Aunt Ellen's letter, lest she should seem to be +criticizing her dead father by thinking any more about Prince Adalbert. + + The Deanery, + + Silchester, + + _July 21 st._ + + _My dear Jasmine,_ + + _When your Uncle Arnold, wrote to you about your father's sad + death, he forgot to add an invitation to come and stay with us + later on. Now your Aunt May writes to me that it is definitely + decided that you should come to England, and your six boy cousins + are most eager to make your acquaintance. I say "boy" cousins, but + alas! some of them are very much young men these days. I fear we + are all growing old, though your poor father might have expected to + live many more years if he had not been so imprudent. But even as a + boy he was always catching cold through standing about sailing + boats in the Round Pond when your grandfather was Vicar of St. + Mary's, Kensington. However, we must not repine. God's wisdom is + often hidden from us, and we must trust in His fatherly love. I + wonder if you have learnt any typewriting? Uncle Arnold so dislikes + continuous changes in his secretaries, and his work seems to + increase every year. He only intended to do a short history of + England before the Norman Conquest, but the more he goes on, the + further he goes back, and if you were at all interested in Saxon + life I do think it would be worth your while to see if you liked + typewriting. Ethelred has been learning it in the morning instead + of practising the piano, but he does not seem to want to make a + great deal of progress. It's so difficult to understand what + children want sometimes. I suppose our Heavenly Father feels the + same about all of us. When I am tempted to blame Ethelred I + remember this. Of course as a Roman Catholic you have not been + taught a very great deal about God, but we are all His children, + and you must not grieve too much over your loss. "Not lost but gone + before," you must say to yourself. I remember you every night in my + prayers._ + + _Your loving_ + + _Aunt Ellen._ + +Jasmine was asking herself how to set about learning to typewrite, and +making resolutions to check a faint inclination to regret that she had +so many rich relatives anxious to help her, when the languid puffs of +air from the South swelled suddenly into a real wind and blew all the +paper on the bench up into the air and down again into one of the little +back gardens below the parapet--all the paper, that is, except Lady +Grant's blue envelope, which even a gale could scarcely have disturbed. + +Jasmine, brought up in Sirene, was not accustomed to conceal her +feelings in the way that a well-educated English girl would have known +how to conceal them. The loss of the letters dismayed her, and she +showed as much by climbing on the parapet of the wall and gazing down +into the garden below. + +At that moment a much freckled young man with what is called sandy hair +came along, and without looking to see if he was observed immediately +scrambled up beside her. Even a Sunday school teacher on his way to +class might have been forgiven for doing as much; but this young man was +evidently nothing of the kind. Indeed, with his grey flannel trousers +and Norfolk jacket, he imparted to the atmosphere of Sunday a distinct +whiff of the previous afternoon; standing up there beside Jasmine, he +looked like a golfer who had lost his ball. + +"What have you dropped? A hairpin?" he asked. + +Jasmine could not help laughing at the notion of bothering about a +hairpin, and she pointed to Mrs. Eneas Grant's letter nestling among the +branches of a sunflower; to where Mrs. Alexander Grant's invitation to +amuse Prince Adalbert of Pomerania twitched nervously on the neat gravel +path; and to where Mrs. Lightbody's suggestions, ghostly and practical, +clung for a moment to a drain-pipe, before they collapsed into what was +left on a broken plate of the cat's dinner. + +The twelve-foot drop into the garden below was nothing: the young man +accomplished it with an enthusiastic absence of hesitation. To gather up +the letters was the labour of a minute. But to get back again was +impossible, because the owner of the house, disgusted by the untidiness +of Roman and mediæval masonry, had repaired and pointed that portion of +the wall which bounded his garden. + +"There isn't one niche for your foot," murmured Jasmine, almost tenderly +solicitous. + +"I must ring the bell and borrow a ladder," said the stranger. After a +moment's search he announced in an indignant voice that the house +apparently did not possess a bell. + +A man in shirt sleeves, interrupted at the second or third of his forty +Sabbath winks, leaned out of an upper window and asked Jasmine what she +thought she was doing jibbering and jabbering on his garden wall; before +she had time to explain, he perceived the young man in the garden, and +asked him what he thought he was doing havering and hovering about among +his flowers. + +"I was looking for the bell." + +"Bell! You long-legged fool! What d'you think I should keep a bell in my +back garden for, when the children won't let the bells in front have a +moment's peace?" Then he made a noise like a dog shut in a door. "Ough! +Take your great feet out of my petunias, can't you! If I want my flowers +trampled on, I can get a steam-roller to do it. I don't want your help." + +"This lady dropped something in your garden," the young man explained, +and the owner smiled bitterly. + +"Aye," he went on, "that's what they all say. Please, mister, our Amy's +dropped her damned doll in your garden, can she come round and fetch it +back? It's like living in a dustbin. A scandal, that's what I say it is. +A public scandal." + +Then began one of those long arguments in which people roused from sleep +seem to delight, provided always that they have been sufficiently roused +to feel that it is not worth while going to sleep again. What occurred +to lead up to the trespass was swept away as having occurred while the +owner was still asleep; no amount of explanation as to why the young man +was in his back garden was of any avail; no suggestions as to how he was +to get out of it had any effect; and the argument might have continued +until the 4.42 train from York to Spaborough had left the station, if in +some inner room a child's voice had not begun to sing to the +accompaniment of a harmonium: + + _There is a green hill far away_ + _Without a city wall_ + +"Aye, you silly little fool, that's right! Sing that now! It's a pity +your dad doesn't live on a green hill without a city wall, and not in +York." + +The young man, who by this time had been rendered as argumentative as +the owner, remarked that 'without' meant 'outside.' + +"What's it matter what it means, if there wasn't a city wall?" retorted +the owner, and vanished from the window before the young man could +reply. From inside one of the rooms there was a fresh murmur of +argument, which lasted until a noise between a moan and a thud was +followed by a silence faintly broken by sobs. The slamming down of the +lid of the harmonium had evidently relieved the feelings of the man in +shirt sleeves, for when presently he came out into the garden and found +himself at close quarters with the intruder, he became genial and +talkative, and began to point out the superiority of his dahlias. + +"I reckon they're grand, I do," he said. "Like cauliflowers. Only, of +course, cauliflowers wouldn't have the colour, would they?" + +"Not if they were fresh," the young man agreed. + +And then he began flatteringly to smell one of the dahlias. He seemed to +be attributing to the flower as much importance as he would have +attributed to a baby; it was easier to deal with a dahlia, because the +dahlia did not dribble, although had it really been a baby, its mother +would have been much more annoyed at its being smelt like this than was +the man in shirt sleeves, who laughed and said: + +"I wouldn't bother about the smell if I was you. Dahlia's don't have any +smell. Size is what a dahlia's for." + +"No, I was thinking it was a rose," the young man explained +apologetically. The incident which had begun so rudely was ended, and +except for the unseen child practising its little hymn, was ended +harmoniously. The young man was taken through the house and conducted +along the street as far as the next ingress to the walls. When he met +Jasmine coming towards him, he felt as if he had known her for a long +time, and that they were meeting like this by appointment. + +"Well, that's finished," said the young man, after Jasmine had put the +letters safely back in her bag. He eyed for a moment her black clothes. + +"I suppose you're going to Sunday-school and all that?" he ventured. + +"No, I'm just walking round the walls." + +"Curious coincidence! So was I." + +"Waiting for a train," she went on. + +"Still more curious! So am I." + +"Waiting for the 4.42." + +"The final touch!" he cried. "So am I. Let's wait in unison." + +They moved across to a circular bench set in an embrasure of the walls, +overgrown here with ivy from which the sun drew forth a faint dusty +scent. On this bench they sat down to exchange more coincidences. To +begin with, they discovered that they were both going to Spaborough; +soon afterward that they were both going to stay with uncles; and, as if +this were not enough, that both these uncles were baronets, which even +with the abnormal increase of baronets lately was, as the young man +said, the most remarkable coincidence of all. + +"And what's your name?" Jasmine asked. + +"Harry." + +She felt like somebody who had been offered as a present an object in +which nothing but politeness had led her to express an interest. + +"I meant your other name," she said quickly, rejecting as it were the +offer of the more intimate first name. + +"Vibart. My uncle is Sir John Vibart." + +"Of course, how stupid of me," Jasmine murmured with a blush. "My name's +Grant, of course," she hastened to add. + +"Sir Hector Grant," the young man went on musingly. "Isn't he some kind +of a doctor?" + +"A nerve specialist," said Jasmine. + +"I know," said the young man in accents that combined wisdom with +sympathy. + +The discovery of the baronets had removed the last trace of awkwardness +which, easy though his manners were, was more perceptible in Mr. Vibart +than in Jasmine, who in Sirene had never had much impressed upon her the +sacred character of the introduction. + +"I shall come and call on you at Spaborough," he vowed. + +"Of course," she agreed; people called with much less excuse than this +in Sirene. + +"We might do some sailing." + +She clapped her hands with such spontaneous pleasure of anticipation +that Mr. Vibart remarked how easy it was to see that she had lived +abroad. But almost before the echo of her pleasure had died away her +eyes had filled with tears, for she was thinking how heartless it was of +her to rejoice at the prospect of sailing when it was sailing that had +caused her father's death. Anxious not to hurt Mr. Vibart's feelings, +Jasmine began to explain breathlessly why she was looking so sad. The +young man was silent for a minute when she stopped; then, weighing his +words in solemn deliberation, he said: + +"And, of course, that's why you're wearing black." + +Jasmine nodded. + +"I've brought with me all that were left of father's pictures. For +presents, you know." She sighed. + +"I know," said the young man wisely. He had in his own valise a +cigar-holder for Sir John Vibart, the expense of procuring which he +hoped would be more than covered by a parting cheque. + +"And I should like to show them to you," Jasmine went on. "Perhaps we +could get one out and look at it in the train." + +"Hadn't we better wait until I come and call?" he suggested. "It's not +fair to look at things in the train. Trains wobble so, don't they?" + +Conversation about Sholto Grant's pictures passed easily into +conversation about Jasmine's mother, because nearly all the pictures had +been of her. + +"She was a beautiful _contadina_, you know," Jasmine shyly told him. + +Mr. Vibart, who supposed that her shyness was due to an attempt to avoid +giving an impression of snobbishness in thus announcing the nobility of +her ancestry, asked of what she was _contadina_. Jasmine, delighted at his +mistake, laughed gaily. + +"_Contadina_ means country girl. Her name was Gelsomina, and she was the +most beautiful girl in the island. Everybody wanted to paint her." + +Mr. Vibart, struggling in the gulf between a baronet's niece and an +artist's model had nothing to say, but he made up his mind to ask his +uncle something about Italy. It was always difficult to find anything to +talk about with the old gentleman; Italy as a topic ought to last +through the better part of two bottles of Burgundy. + +"And what's your name?" he asked at last. + +"I was called after my mother." + +"Oh, you were? Well, would you mind telling me your mother's name again, +because I lost the last dozen letters?" + +"Gelsomina--only I was always called Jasmine, which is the English for +it." + +As she spoke, all the bells in York began to ring at once, from the +mastiff booming in York Minster to the rusty little cur yapping in a +Methodist chapel close to where they were sitting, and with such +gathering insistence in their clamour as to destroy the pleasure of +these sunlit reminiscences. + +"I suppose we ought to have a look at the Minster," Mr. Vibart suggested +in the tone of voice in which he would have announced that he must open +the door to a pertinacious caller. "Of course I'm not exactly dressed +for Sunday afternoon service, but you're all right. Black's always all +right for Sunday." + +Jasmine's conception of going to church had nothing to do with dressing +up, but it did seem to her extraordinary to go to church at this hour of +the day. However, the evidence of the bells was unmistakable, and +without a qualm she followed her companion's lead. + +The strangeness of the hour for service was only matched by the +strangeness of the congregation assembled for worship and the +astonishing secularity of the interior. She could remember nothing as +solemn and gloomy since she and her father had made a mistake in the +time of the performance at the San Carlo Opera House in Naples and had +arrived an hour early. She did not recognize the smell of immemorial +respectability, and it almost choked her after the frank odours in the +Duomo of Sirene--those frank odours of candles, perspiration, garlic, +incense, and that indescribable smell which the skin of the newly peeled +potato shares with the skin of the newly washed peasant. She did not +think that the mighty organ, booming like a tempestuous midnight in +Sirene, was anything but a reminder of the terrors of hell, and as a +means of turning the mind toward heavenly contemplation she compared it +most unfavourably with the love scenes of Verdi's operas that in Sirene +provided a tremulous comment upon the mysteries being enacted at the +altar. If there had been a sound of sobbing, she could have thought that +she was attending a requiem; but, however melancholy the appearance of +the worshipping women around, they were evidently enjoying themselves, +and, what was surely the most extraordinary of all, actually taking part +in the distant business of the priests, bobbing and whispering and +mumbling as if they were priests themselves. + +"I think I can smell dead bodies," said Jasmine to her companion. + +Mr. Vibart was probably not a religious young man himself, but he had +already affronted the religious sense of his neighbours by presenting +himself before Almighty God in grey flannel trousers and a Norfolk +jacket, and he was not anxious positively to flout it by letting +Jasmine talk in church. People in the pews close at hand turned round to +see what irreverent voice had interrupted their devotion, and Mr. Vibart +tried to pretend that her remark had a religious bearing by offering her +a share of his Prayer Book. This was too much for Jasmine. To stand up +in front of the world holding half a book seemed to her as much an +offence against church etiquette as when once long ago at school she had +quarrelled with another little girl over the ownership of a rosary and +they had tugged against each other until the rosary broke in a shower of +tinkling shells upon the floor of the convent chapel. + +The best solution of the situation was to go out, and out she went, +followed by Mr. Vibart, who looked as uncomfortable as a man would look +in leaving a stall in the middle of the row during Madame Butterfly's +last song. + +"I say, you know, you oughtn't to have done that," he murmured +reproachfully. + +"Done what?" + +"Well, talked loudly like that, and then gone out in the middle of the +service. Everybody stared at us like anything." + +"Well, why did you joke with that Prayer Book?" + +"I wasn't joking with the Prayer Book," Mr. Vibart affirmed in horror. + +An emotion akin to dismay invaded Jasmine's soul. If she could so +completely misunderstand this not at all alarming, this freckled and +benevolent young man, how was she ever to understand her English +relatives? She had been sufficiently depressed by England throughout the +journey, but it was only now that she grasped what a profound difference +it was going to make to be herself only half English. She was evidently +going to misunderstand everything and everybody. Serious things were +going to seem jokes, and, what was worse, real jokes would seem serious. +She should offend with and in her turn be offended by trifles. + +"I'm sorry," she said to Mr. Vibart. "You see, it was quite different +from everything to which I've been accustomed all my life. Oh, do let's +go and have an ice." + +"Rather, if we can find a sweet-shop open." + +Incomprehensible country, where ices were found in sweet-shops, and +where sweet-shops were closed on Sunday! Jasmine gave it up. However, +they did find a sweet-shop open, where she ate what tasted like a pat of +butter frozen in an old box of soap, cost fourpence, and was called a +vanilla ice-cream. She criticized it all the time she was eating it, and +then found to her mortification that Mr. Vibart supposed that he should +pay for it. + +"In Sirene," Jasmine protested, "we all go and have ices when we have +money, but we always pay for ourselves. And if I'd thought that you were +going to pay, I should have pretended I thought it was very good." + +The argument lasted a long time with illustrations and comparisons taken +from life at Sirene, which were so vividly related that Mr. Vibart +announced his intention of going there as soon as possible. Jasmine was +so much gratified by her conversion of an Englishman that she +surrendered about the payment for the ice, and when they got back to the +station she allowed him to manage everything. It was certainly much +easier. The surly cloak-room clerk handled the picture crates as +tenderly as a child, and even said "upsi-daisy" when he delivered them +back into their owner's possession. As for the porter with one hand he +trundled his barrow along like a jolly hoop. + +"I say, let's travel First," Mr. Vibart proposed, apparently the prey to +a sudden and irresistible temptation towards extravagance. + +"My ticket is third class," Jasmine objected. + +"I know, so's mine," he said mysteriously. "But they know me on this +line." + +And by the way the porter and the cloak-room clerk and the guard and a +small boy selling chocolates all smiled at him, Jasmine felt sure that +he was telling the truth. + +The journey from York to Spaborough took about two hours and a half, and +the bloom of dusk lay everywhere on the green landscape before they +arrived. For the first half Jasmine had been contented and gay, but now +toward the end she fell into a pensive twilight mood, so that when at +last Mr. Vibart broke the long silence by announcing "Next station is +Spaborough" she was very near to weeping. She did not suppose that she +should ever see again this companion of a few hours. She realized that +she had served to while away for a time the boredom of his Sunday +afternoon; but, of course, he would forget about her. Already with what +a ruthlessly cheerful air he was reaching up to the rack for his +luggage. + +"What are those funny tools in that bag?" she asked. + +"Those?" he laughed. "Those are golf clubs." + +Jasmine looked no wiser. + +"Haven't you ever played golf?" + +"Is it a game?" + +He nodded, and she sighed. How could a man who carried about with him on +his travels a game be expected to remember herself? But it would never +do for her to let him think that she considered his remembering her of +the least importance one way or the other. Jasmine's knowledge of human +nature was based upon the aphorisms in circulation among the young +women of Sirene, few of which did not insist on the fact that to men the +least eagerness in the opposite sex was distasteful. Jasmine had all the +Latin love of a generalization, all the Latin distrust of the exception +that tried its accuracy. + +"I'll be very cold with him," she decided. But her coldness was tempered +by sweetness, and if Mr. Vibart had ever tasted a really good ice-cream, +he might have compared Jasmine with one when she said good-bye to him on +the Spaborough platform. + +"But isn't there anybody to meet you?" he asked, looking round. + +"It doesn't matter. Please don't bother any more about me. I'm sure I've +been enough of a bother already." + +At that moment she caught sight of a chaise driven by a postilion in an +orange jacket. + +"Oh, I should like to ride in that!" + +"But your people have probably sent a carriage." + +"No, no!" Jasmine cried. "Let me ride in that," and before Mr. Vibart +could persuade her to wait one minute while he enquired if any of the +waiting motor-cars or carriages were intended for Miss Jasmine Grant, +she had packed herself in and was waiting open-armed for the porter to +pack her trunk in opposite. + +"I shall see you again," Mr. Vibart prophesied confidently. + +"Perhaps," she murmured. "Thank you for helping me at York. Drive to +Strathspey House, South Parade," she told the postilion. + +Then she blushed because she fancied that Mr. Vibart might suppose that +she had called out the address so loudly for his benefit. She did not +look round again, therefore, but watched the orange postilion jogging up +and down in front, and the street lamps coming out one by one as the +lamp-lighters went by with their long poles. + + + + +_Chapter Two_ + + +The origin of the house of Grant, like that of many another Scots +family, is lost in the Scotch mists of antiquity. The particularly thick +mist that obscured the origin of that branch of the family to which +Jasmine belonged did not disperse until early in the nineteenth century, +when the figure of James Grant, who began life nebulously as an +under-gardener in the establishment of the sixth Duke of Ayr, emerged +well-defined as a florist and nursery gardener in the Royal Borough of +Kensington. The rhetorical questioning of the claims of aristocracy +implied in the couplet: + + _When Adam delved, and Eve span_ + _Who was then the gentleman?_ + +was peculiarly appropriate to this branch, for Jamie, besides being a +gardener himself, married the daughter of a Lancashire weaver called +Jukes, who later on invented a loom and, what is more, profited by his +talent. Although Jamie Grant's rapid rise was helped by the success of +old Mr. Jukes' invention, he had enough talent of his own to take full +advantage of the capital that his wife brought him on the death of her +father; in fact by the year 1837 Jamie was as reputable as any florist +in the United Kingdom. A legend in the family said that on the fine June +morning when Archbishop Howley and Lord Chamberlain Conyngham rode from +the death-bed of William IV at Windsor to announce to the little +Princess in Kensington Palace her accession, the Archbishop begged a +bunch of sweet peas for his royal mistress from old Jamie whose garden +was close to the highway. If legend lied, then so did Jamie's son +Andrew, who always declared that he was an eye-witness of the incident, +and indeed ascribed to it his own successful career. Inasmuch as Andrew +Grant died in the dignity of Lord Bishop Suffragan of Clapham, there is +no reason to suppose that he was not speaking the truth. According to +him the incident did not stop with the impulse of the loyal Archbishop +to stand well with his queen on that sunny morning in June, but a few +days later was turned into an event by Jamie's sending his son with +another bunch of sweet peas to Lambeth Palace and asking his Grace to +stand godfather to a splendid purple variety he had just raised. In +these days when sweet peas that do not resemble the underclothing of +cocottes without the scent are despised, the robust and strong-scented +magenta _Archbishop Howley_ no longer figures in catalogues; but at this +period it was the finest sweet pea on the market. The Archbishop, who +was a snob of the first water, liked the compliment; yes, and, +anti-papist though he was, he did not object to the suggestion of +episcopal violet in the dedication. He also liked young Andrew, and on +finding that young Andrew wished to cultivate the True Vine instead of +the Virginia creeper, he promised him his help and his patronage. James, +who all his life had been applying the principle of selection to +flowers, realizing that what could be done with sweet peas could be done +equally well with human beings, gave Andrew his blessing, dipped into +his wife's stocking, and contributed what was necessary to supplement +the sizarship that shortly after this his son won at Trinity College, +Cambridge. + +Andrew Grant, during his career as a clergyman, was called upon to +select with even more discrimination and rigour than his father before +him. He had first to make up his mind that the Puseyite party was not +going to oust the Evangelical party to which he had attached himself. He +had later on to decide whether he should anathematize Darwin or uphold +Bishop Colenso, a dilemma which he dodged by doing neither. He had also +to choose a wife. He chose Martha Rouncivell, who brought him £1000 a +year from slum rents in Sheffield and presented him with five children. +Apart from the continual assertions of scurrilous High Church papers +that he had ceased to believe in his Saviour, Andrew Grant's earthly +life was mercifully free from the bitterness, the envy, and the +disillusionment that wait upon success. His greatest grief was when the +spiritual power that he fancied was perceptible in his youngest son +Sholto, a spiritual power that might carry him to Canterbury itself, +turned out to be nothing but an early manifestation of the artistic +temperament. But that disappointment was mitigated by his consecration +in 1890 as Lord Bishop Suffragan of Clapham, in which exalted rank he +guarded London against the southerly onslaughts of Satan even as his +brothers of Hampstead, Chelsea, and Bow were vigilant North, West, and +East. It was a powerful alliance, for if the Bishop of Hampstead was +High, the Bishop of Bow was Low, and if the Bishop of Chelsea was Broad, +the Bishop of Clapham was Deep; although he preferred to characterize +himself as Square. + +When Archdeacon Grant was consecrated, he had to find a suitable +episcopal residence, and this was not at all easy to find in South +London. At last, however, he secured the long lease of a retired +merchant's Gothic mansion on Lavender Hill, which after three years of +fervid Lenten courses was secured to Holy Church by three appeals to the +faithful rich. As soon as the Bishop was firmly installed in Bishop's +House, he who had observed with displeasure the number of empty shields +in the roll of Suffragan Bishops in Crockford's clergy list, applied for +a grant of arms. He came from an old Scots family, and he felt strongly +on the subject of coat-armour. When he first went up to Cambridge he had +interested himself in heraldry to such purpose that he had been +convinced of old Jamie's right to the three antique crowns of the House +of Grant. And though the old boy said he should think more of three new +half-crowns, he offered to use them as his trade-mark if Andrew really +hankered after them. Andrew discouraged the proposed sacrilege, but all +the way up from curate to vicar, from vicar to rural dean, from rural +dean to archdeacon, from archdeacon to suffragan bishop, he did hanker +after them, for the shadows of mighty ancestors loomed immense upon that +impenetrable Scotch mist. When his eldest son was born, instead of +calling him Matthew after his wife's brother, a safe candidate for +future wealth, he called him Hector, because Hector was a fine old +Scottish name, and most unevangelically he christened the three sons who +followed Eneas, Alexander, and Sholto. When he became a bishop, he was +more Caledonian than ever; perhaps the apron reminded him of the kilt. +With his empty shield in Crockford's staring at him he went right out +for the three antique crowns and applied to Lyon Court for a +confirmation of these arms. His mortification may be imagined when he +was informed that he was actually not armigerous at all, and that the +coat which he proposed to wear, of course with a difference, was not his +to wear. It was useless for the Bishop to claim, like Joseph, that the +coat had been given to him by his father. The Reubens, Dans, and +Naphtalis of the house of Grant were not going to put up with it; the +three antique crowns were disallowed. For a while the Bishop pretended +to exult in his empty shield. After all, he might hope to become a real +bishop and contemplate one day the arms of the see against his name; in +any case he felt that his mind should be occupied with a heavenly crown. +But the ancestral ghosts haunted him; he could not bear the thought of +Crockford's coming out year by year with that empty shield, and at last +he applied for arms that should be all his own. On his suggestion Lyon +granted him _Or, three chaplets of peaseblossom purpure, slipped and +leaved vert;_ but when for crest the Bishop demanded _A Bible displayed +proper_, even that was disallowed, because another branch of the Grants +had actually appropriated the Bible in the days of Queen Anne. "Then I +will have the Book of Common Prayer displayed proper," said the Bishop. +And the Book of Common Prayer he got, together with the Gaelic motto +_Suas ni bruach_, which neither he nor his descendants ever learnt to +pronounce properly, though they always understood that it meant +something like _Excelsior_. + +With such a motto it was not surprising that Sholto Grant's refusal to +climb should upset his relations. Old Jamie must have dealt with many +throwbacks when he was selecting his sweet peas; but it is improbable +that any of them refused to climb at all, and though there is now a +variety inappropriately called "Cupid" with scarcely more ambition than +moss, these dwarfs have a commercial value. Sholto Grant had no +commercial value. Sholto indeed had so little sense of profit that he +actually failed to arrive in time to see his father die, and if the old +gentleman's paternal instinct had not been much developed by his +episcopate, and if he had not imbibed every evangelical maxim on the +subject of forgiveness, he would probably have cut Sholto off with a +shilling. As it was, he divided his money equally between his five +children, and it can be readily imagined how indignant Hector, Eneas, +and Alexander, who had all married well, had all worked hard to justify +the family motto, and not one of whom could count on less than £2000 a +year, felt on finding that the £20,000; which was all that the Bishop of +Clapham's devotion to the Gospel had allowed him to leave to his family, +was to be robbed of £4000 for Sholto, who had married an Italian peasant +girl and spent his whole life painting unsaleable pictures in the island +of Sirene. "Besides," as they acutely said, "Sholto does not appreciate +money. He will only go and spend it." And spend it Sholto did, much to +the disgust of his brothers, Sir Hector Grant, Bart., K.C.V.O., C.B.; +Eneas Grant, Esq., C.M.G.; Lieutenant-Colonel Alexander Grant, D.S.O.; +and even of his sister, Mrs. Arnold Lightbody, the wife of the Very +Reverend the Dean of Silchester. Thus far had they climbed in the ten +years that succeeded the Bishop of Clapham's death. Perhaps if they had +reached such altitudes ten years before they might have been more +willing to share with Sholto; but Dr. Grant of Harley Street, Mr. Grant +of the Levant Consular Service, Captain Grant of the Duke of Edinburgh's +Own Strathspey Highlanders (Banffshire Buffs), and Mrs. Lightbody, the +wife of Canon Lightbody, were not far enough up the pea-sticks to +neglect such a stimulus to growth as gold. Mrs. Hector, Mrs. Eneas, and +Mrs. Alexander had their own grievance, for, as they reasonably asked, +what had Sholto's wife contributed to the family ascent? They, who had +followed the example set by Miss Jukes and Miss Rouncivell before them, +were surely entitled to reproach the unendowed Gelsomina. It seemed so +extraordinary too that a bishop should have nothing better to occupy a +mind on the brink of eternity than speculating whether his youngest son +would arrive in time to see him die. They had never yet observed the +death of a prelate, but they could imagine well enough what it ought to +be to know that a continental Bradshaw was not the book to prepare for a +heavenly journey. And when a double knock sounded on the studded door of +Bishop's House, the Bishop had actually sat up in bed, because he +thought that it was his youngest son, arrived in time after all. But it +was not Sholto, and the old man had had no business to sit up in bed and +grab at the telegram like that. _"Wife dying in Paris forgive delay,"_ +he read out, gasping. After which with a smile he murmured, "Perhaps I +shall meet poor Sholto's wife above," and without another word died. It +was all very well for the chaplain to fold his arms upon his breast, but +the assembled family felt that a bishop ought to have died in the hope +of meeting his Maker, not an Italian daughter-in-law of peasant +extraction. + +During the ten years that had elapsed since then, Sholto had behaved +exactly as his family had foreseen that he would behave. He had lost his +wife, his money, and then most carelessly his own life, leaving an +orphan to be provided for by her relatives. Luckily Sir Hector Grant, +because he was the head of the family and because he had climbed a +little higher than the rest, was willing to see what could be done with +and what could be made of poor Sholto's daughter. Not that the others +were slow in coming forward with offers of hospitality. Their letters to +Jasmine were a proof of that. But they all felt that Strathspey House +was the obvious place for the experiment to begin. + +Strathspey House occupied what is called a commanding position on the +fashionable South Cliff of Spaborough, looking seaward over the +shrubberies of the Spa gardens. Sir Hector Grant had bought it about +fifteen years ago, to the relief of the many ladies whom in a +professional capacity he had advised to recuperate their nerves at the +famous old resort. That trip to Spaborough had become such a recognized +formula in his consultations that it would hardly have been decent for +Dr. Grant himself to seek anywhere else recreation from his practice. In +his Harley Street consulting room a coloured print of the eighteenth +century entitled _A Trip to Spaborough_ hung above the green marble +clock that had been presented to him by a ruling sovereign for keeping +his oldest daughter moderately sane long enough to marry the son of +another ruling sovereign, and, what is more, cheat an heir presumptive +with an heir apparent. In the caricaturist's representation a line of +monstrously behooped and bewigged ladies and of gentlemen with bulbous +red noses stood upon a barren cliff gazing at the sea. "Even in those +days," Dr. Grant used to murmur, "you see, my dear lady ... yes ... even +in those days ... but of course it's not quite like that now. No, +it's--not--quite--like--that--now." The neurasthenic lady would +certainly have made the prescribed trip even if it had been; but before +she could express her complete subservience Dr. Grant would go on: "Air +... yes, precisely ... that's what you require ... air!... plenty of +good--fresh--air! Bathing? Perhaps. That we shall have to settle later +on. Yes, a little--later--on." And Dr. Grant's patients were usually so +much braced up by their visit that they would begin telegraphing to him +at all hours of the day and night to find out the precise significance +of various symptoms unnoticed before the cure began to work its +wonders. + +But the claims of exigent ladies were not the only reason that +determined Dr. Grant to acquire a house at the seaside. As a +prophylactic against his two daughters', Lettice and Pamela, ever +reaching the condition in which the majority of his female patients +found themselves, their mother, who had an even keener instinct than her +husband for the mode, suggested that he should build a house in the +country, choosing a design that could be added to year by year as his +fame and fortune increased. But when Mrs. Grant suggested building, the +doctor replied, "Fools, May, build houses for wise men to live in," and +forthwith bought Strathspey House to conclude the discussion. In this +case the fool was a Huddersfield manufacturer whose fortunes had +collapsed in some industrial earthquake and left him saddled with a +double-fronted, four-storied, porticoed house, in which he had planned +to meditate for many years on a successful business career put behind +him. Actually he spent his declining years in a small boarding-house on +the unfashionable north side of Spaborough, where he existed in a +miserable obscurity, except as often as he could persuade a +fellow-pensioner to walk with him all the way up to South Parade for the +purpose of admiring the exterior of the house that had once been his--a +habit, by the way, that vexed the new owner extremely, but for which, +under the laws of England, he could discover no satisfactory remedy. + +It is scarcely necessary to add that the Huddersfield manufacturer never +called it Strathspey House. That was Dr. Grant's way of saying "My +heart's in the Highlands a-chasing the deer," for it was down the dim +glens of Strathspey that the prehistoric Grants had hunted in the mists +of antiquity. + +Although Mrs. Grant had never tried to persuade her husband into +anything like the baronial castle that would have so well become him, +she had never ceased to protest against a country seat in a popular +seaside resort; but she had to wait fifteen years before she was able to +say "I told you so" with perfect assurance that her husband would have +to bow his head in acknowledgment of her clearer foresight. The actual +date of her triumph was the first of August in the year before Jasmine's +arrival, when the very next house in South Parade, separated from +Strathspey House by nothing but a yard of sky and a hedge of ragged +aucubas, was turned into a boarding-house and actually called Holyrood. +Sir Hector Grant, K.C.V.O., C.B., would have found the proximity of a +boarding-house irritating enough as he was; but a few months later he +was created a baronet, and what had been merely irritating became +intolerable. How could he advertise himself in Debrett as Sir Hector +Grant, of Strathspey House, Spaborough, when next door was a boarding +establishment called Holyrood? And if he described himself as Sir Hector +Grant, of Harley Street, Borough of Marylebone, all the flavour would be +taken out of the fine old Highland name and title. There was only one +course of action. He must change Strathspey House to Balmoral, sell it +to another boarding establishment, remove _A Trip to Spaborough_ from +his consulting room, buy a small glen in Banff or Elgin with a good +Gaelic sound to its name, and send his patients to Strathpeffer. Yet +after all, why should he bother? He had no male heir. What did it matter +if he was Sir Hector Grant, of Harley Street, Borough of Marylebone? Sir +Hector Grant, Bt., was good enough for anybody; he need not waste his +money on glens. If old Uncle Matthew Rouncivell died soon and left him +his fortune, and the old miser owed as much to his nephew's title, he +should be able to buy a castle and retire from practice. Meanwhile his +business was to make the most of that title while he was alive to enjoy +it. + +"Yes, perhaps it was a mistake to settle so definitely in Spaborough," +he admitted to his wife. "But it's too late to begin building now. You +and the girls won't want to keep up an establishment when I'm gone. +Extraordinary thing that Ellen"--Ellen was his only sister--"should have +six boys. However," he went on hurriedly, "we mustn't grumble." + +The result of having no heir was that Sir Hector had to make the most of +his title in his own lifetime, and he used to carry it about with him +everywhere as a miner carries his gold. Journeys which a long and +successful life should have made arduous at fifty-eight were now +sweetened by his being able to register himself in hotel books as +_Hector Grant, Bart_. Once a malevolent wit added an _S_ to the _Bart_, +in allusion to the hospital that produced him, and Sir Hector, gloating +over the hotel book next morning, was so much shocked that he insisted +upon the abbreviation _Bt_. ever afterwards. It was the second time that +verbal ingenuity had made free with his titles. For his voluntary +services to his country during the Boer war as consulting +physician--people used to say that he had been called in to pronounce +upon the sanity of the British generals on active service--he was made a +Companion of the Bath, and when soon after appeared _Traumatic +Neuroses_. _By Hector Grant, C.B._, one reviewer suggested that the +initials should be put the other way round, so old and out of date were +the distinguished doctor's theories. + +In appearance Sir Hector was extremely tall, extremely thin, extremely +fair, with prominent bright blue eyes and a nodulous complexion. His +manner, except with his wife and daughters, was masterful. Old maids +spoke of his magnetism: women confided to him their love affairs: girls +disliked him. It would be unjust to dispose of his success as lightly as +the frivolous and malicious critic mentioned just now. He was not +old-fashioned; he did keep abreast of all the Teutonic excursions into +the vast hinterland of insanity; even at this period he was clicking his +tongue in disapproval of the first stammerings of Freud. He was +sensitive to the popular myth that alienists end by going mad +themselves, and with that suggestion in view he was on his guard against +the least eccentricity in himself or his family. _Mens sana in corpore +sano_, he boasted that he had never worn an overcoat in his life. + +He was once approached by the proprietors of a famous whisky for +permission to put his portrait if not on the bottle at least on the +invoice. Although he felt bound to refuse, the compliment to his +typically Caledonian appearance pleased him, and now on his holiday, in +a suit of homespun with an old cap stuck over with flies, Sir Hector +regretted that the necessity for keeping one hand in his patients' +pockets prevented his setting more than one foot upon his native heath, +and even that one foot only figuratively. + +Lady Grant, who had been the only daughter of a retired paper-maker and +had brought her husband some two thousand pounds a year, was at fifty a +tall fair woman with cheeks that formerly might not unludicrously have +been compared to carnations, but which now with their network of little +crimson lines were more like picotees. She was one of those women whom +it is impossible to imagine with nothing on. Inasmuch as she changed her +clothes three times a day, went to bed at night, got up in the morning, +and in fact behaved as a woman of flesh and blood does behave, it was +obvious that she and her clothes were not really one and indivisible. +Yet so solid and coherent were they that if one of her dresses had +hurried downstairs after her to say that she had put on the wrong one, +it might not have surprised an onlooker with any effect of strangeness. +At fifty her best feature was her nose, which of all features is least +able to call attention to itself. Women with pretty complexions, women +with shapely ankles, women with beautiful hair, women with liquid or +luminous eyes, women with exquisite ears, women with lovely mouths, +women with good figures, women with snowy arms, women with slim hands, +women with graceful necks, all these have a property that bears a steady +interest in becoming gestures. Powder-puffs, petticoats, combs, +ear-rings, and a hundred other excuses are not wanting; but the only way +of calling attention to a nose, at any rate in civilized society, is by +blowing it, which, however delicate the laced handkerchief, is never a +gesture that adds to the pleasure of the company. Lady Grant could do +nothing with her magnificent nose except bring it into profile, and this +gave her face a haughty and inattentive expression that made people +think that she was unsympathetic. Enthusiasm cannot display itself +nasally except among rabbits, and of course elephants. Lady Grant, +resembling neither a rabbit nor an elephant, became more impassive than +ever at those critical moments which, had she been endowed with good +eyes, might have changed her whole character. As it was, her nose just +overweighted her face, not with the effect of caricature that a toucan's +nose produces, but with the stolidity and complacency of a grosbeak's. +She was, for instance, as much gratified to be the wife of a baronet as +her husband was to be a baronet itself; that intractable feature of hers +turned all the simple pleasure into pompousness. It is true that by +calling attention to her daughters' noses she was sometimes able to +extract a compliment to her own; but at best this was a vicarious +satisfaction, and when one day a stupid woman responded by suggesting +that Pamela and Lettice had noses like their father, Lady Grant had to +deny herself even this demand on the flattery of her friends, because +Sir Hector's nose was hideous, really hideous. + +Lady Grant had grumbled a good deal about her niece's arrival; actually +she was looking forward to it. Several people had told her how splendid +it was of her, and how like her it was to be so ready, and what a +wonderful thing it would be for the niece. In fact in the ever-widening +circle of her aunt's acquaintance Jasmine had already reached the +dimensions of a large charitable organization. For some time Lady Grant +had been protecting a poor cousin of her own, a Miss Edith Crossfield, +who was so obviously an object for charity that the glory of being kind +to her was rather dimmed. Miss Crossfield was so poor and so humble and +so worthy that her ladyship would have had to own a heart as impassive +as her nose not to have protected her. At first it had been interesting +to impress poor Edith; but as time went on poor Edith proved so willing +to be impressed by the least action of dear May that it became no longer +very interesting to impress her. Moreover, now that she was the wife of +a baronet, Lady Grant was not sure that it reflected creditably upon her +to have such a poor relation. There was no romance in Edith; to speak +bluntly, even harshly, she gave the show away. No, Edith must find +herself lodgings somewhere in a nice unfashionable seaside town and be +content with a pension. Sholto's existence in Sirene, his romantic and +unfortunate marriage, his career as a painter, his death in the Bay of +Salerno, such a history added to the family past, and if poor Jasmine +would be more expensive than poor Edith, she would be more useful to +her aunt, and more useful to darling Lettice and Pamela. + +Lady Grant's daughters were tall blondes in their mid-twenties who had +always hated each other, and whose hatred had never been relieved by +being able to disparage each other's appearance, owing to their both +looking exactly alike. They too, perhaps, were fairly pleased at the +notion of Jasmine's arrival, because Cousin Edith was no use at all as a +contrast to themselves; she merely lay untidily about the house like a +duster left behind by a careless maid. Pamela and Lettice wanted to get +married well and quickly; but since either was afraid of the other's +getting married first, it began to seem as if neither of them would get +married at all. Their passion was golf, and it was a pity that the +pre-matrimonial methods of savages were not in vogue on the Spaborough +links; Lettice and Pamela would have willingly been hit on the head by a +suitor's golf club if they could have found themselves married on +returning to consciousness. Such was the family to whose bosom Jasmine +was being jogged along through the lamp-lit dusk of Spaborough. + +It may be easily imagined that Lady Grant, after taking the trouble to +send Nuckett with the car to meet her niece's arrival at Spaborough, was +not pleased to find that she had driven up to Strathspey House behind an +orange postilion. + +"Didn't you see Nuckett?" she asked of Jasmine, whose attempt to kiss +her aunt had been rather like biting hard on a soft pink sweet and +finding nougat or some such adamantine substance within. Jasmine, +wondering who Nuckett might be, assured her aunt that she had not seen +him. + +"Which means that he will wait down there for the 9.38. Hector!" she +called to her husband, who was at that moment bending down to salute +his niece, "Nuckett will be waiting at the station for the 9.38. What +can we do about it?" + +Sir Hector recoiled from the kiss, blew out his cheeks, and looked at +his niece with the expression he reserved for wantonly hysterical young +girls. There ensued a long discussion of the methods of communication +with Nuckett, during which Jasmine's spirits, temporarily exhilarated by +the ride behind the orange postilion, sank lower than at any point on +the journey. Nor were they raised by the entrance of her two cousins, +who were looking at her as if one of the servants had upset a bottle of +ink which had to be mopped up before they could advance another step. At +last the problem of Nuckett's evening was solved by entrusting the +postilion with authority to recall him. + +"You mustn't bother to dress for dinner to-night," conceded Lady Grant, +apparently swept by a sudden gust of benevolence. "Pamela dear, take +Jasmine to her room, will you?" + +"Do you get much golf in Sirene?" enquired Pamela on the way upstairs. + +Jasmine stared at her, or rather she opened wide her eyes in alarm, +which had the effect of a stare on her cousin. + +"No, I've never played golf." + +It was Pamela's turn to stare now in frank horror at this revelation. + +"Never played golf?" she repeated. "What did you do at home then?" + +"I played picquet sometimes with father." + +This was too much for Pamela, who could think of nothing more to say +than that this was a chest of drawers and that that was a wardrobe, +after which, with a hope for the success of her ablutions, she left +Jasmine to herself. + +Presently a maid tapped at the door. + +"Please, miss, her ladyship would like to know where you would prefer +the packing-cases put." + +"Oh, couldn't you bring them up here?" Jasmine asked eagerly. "That is, +of course," she added, "if it isn't too much trouble." + +The maid protested that it would be no trouble at all; but her looks +belied her speech. + +"And if you could bring them up at once," added Jasmine quickly, "I +should be very much obliged." + +She had a plan in her head for softening her relatives, the successful +carrying out of which involved having the crates in her room. After a +few minutes they arrived. + +"I'm afraid I can't open them with my umbrella," she said. She was not +being facetious, for in her impetuousness she had tried, and broken the +umbrella. "I wonder if you could find me a screw-driver?" + +"Oh yes, miss, I daresay I could find a screw-driver." + +"And a hammer," shouted Jasmine, rushing out of her room to the landing +and calling down the stairs to the housemaid. + +"I think I shall change my frock all the same," she decided. "Or at any +rate I shall unpack; because if I don't unpack now, I shall never +unpack." + +In order not to lose the inspiration, Jasmine began to unpack with such +rapidity that presently the room looked like the inside of a +clothes-basket. Then she undressed with equal rapidity, mixing up washed +clothes with unwashed clothes in her efforts to find a clean chemise. +She found several chemises, but by this time it was impossible to say +which or if any of them were clean, and when the housemaid came back +with the screw-driver and the hammer, she spoke to her with Southern +politeness: + +"I say, I wonder if you could lend me a chemise. And, I say, what is +your name?" + +The housemaid winced at the request; but the traditions of service were +too strong for her, and with no more than the last vibrations of a +tremor in her voice, she replied: + +"Oh yes, miss, I daresay I could find you a chemise. And, please, I'm +called Hopkins, miss." + +"Yes, but what's your other name?" + +"Amanda, miss." + +"What a pretty name!" + +"Yes, miss," the housemaid agreed after a moment's hesitation. "But it's +not considered a suitable name for service, and her ladyship gave orders +when I came that I was to be called Hopkins." + +"Well, I shall call you Amanda," said Jasmine decidedly. No doubt +Hopkins thought that a young lady who was capable of borrowing a chemise +from a housemaid was capable of calling her by her Christian name, and +since she did not wish to encourage her ladyship's niece to thwart her +ladyship's express wishes, she hurried away without replying. + +While Hopkins was out of the room Jasmine attacked the crates, tearing +them to pieces with her slim, brown, boyish hands as a monkey sheds a +coconut. Then she took out the pictures and set them up round the room +in coigns of vantage, two or three on the bed, one leaning against the +looking-glass, one supported between the jug and the basin, and several +more on chairs. This happened in the days before the Germans bombarded +Spaborough and destroyed its tonic reputation; but between that date and +this no room in Spaborough could have conveyed so completely the +illusion of having been bombarded. Yet, as often happens with really +untidy people, it is only when they have reduced their surroundings to +the extreme of disorder that they begin to know where they are, and as +soon as the room was littered with pictures, packing-case wood, and +clothes, all jumbled and confused together, Jasmine was able to find not +only the clean chemise she required, but all the other requisite +articles of attire, so that when Hopkins came back Jasmine was able to +wave at her in triumph one of her own chemises. + +"Never mind, Amanda; I've found one." + +"Oh yes, miss, but please, miss, with your permission I'd prefer you +called me Hopkins. I wouldn't like it to be said I was going against her +ladyship's wishes in private." + +"Well, I like Amanda," persisted Jasmine obstinately. + +"Yes, miss, and it's very kind of you to say so, I'm sure, and it would +have pleased my mother very much. But her ladyship particularly passed +the remark that she had a norrer of fancy names, so perhaps you'd be +kind enough to call me Hopkins." + +"All right," agreed Jasmine, who, having only just arrived at Strathspey +House, found it hard to sympathize with such servility. "But look here, +the washing-stand's all covered with chips and nails. What shall I do?" + +A moral struggle took place in Hopkins' breast, a struggle between the +consciousness that dinner must inevitably be ready in five minutes and +the consciousness that she ought to show Miss Grant where the bathroom +was. In the end cleanliness defeated godliness--for punctuality was the +god of Strathspey House--and she proposed a bath. + +"Oh, can I have a bath?" cried Jasmine. "How splendid! But you are sure +that you can spare the water? Oh, of course, I forgot. This isn't +Sirene, is it?" + +"No, miss," the housemaid agreed doubtfully. After seeing Jasmine's room +security of location had somehow come to mean less to Hopkins; in fact +she said, when she got back to the kitchen: "I give you my word, cook, I +didn't know where I was." + +It was a wonderful bath, and while Sir Hector downstairs kept taking his +watch out of his pocket--with every passing minute it slid out more +easily--Jasmine spent a quarter of an hour in delicious oblivion. At the +end of it, Pamela came tapping at the door to tell her that dinner was +ready, if she was. Jasmine was so full of water-warmed feelings that she +leaped out of the bath, flung open the door, and all dripping wet and +naked as she was assured her cousin that she herself was just ready. + +"Is the island of Sirene inhabited by savages?" asked Pamela +superciliously when she brought back news to the anxious dining-room. + +This was considered a witty remark. Even Lettice smiled, for she already +despised her cousin more than she hated her sister. + +"And now," said Jasmine to herself when another quarter of an hour had +gone by and she was dressed, "and now which picture shall I give them?" + +She pulled down the cord of the electric light to illuminate better her +choice, pulled it down so far that it would not go up again, but stayed +hovering above the billowy floor like a sea-bird about to alight upon a +wave. It was easy, or difficult, to choose for presentation one of +Sholto Grant's pictures, because in subject and treatment they were all +much alike. In every foreground there was a peasant girl among olive +trees, in every middle distance olive groves, and in every background +the rocks and sea of Sirene. The choice resolved itself into whether you +wanted a bunch of anemones, a bunch of poppies, an armful of broom, or a +basket of cherries; it was really more like shopping at a greengrocer's +than choosing a picture. In the end Jasmine, who by now was herself +beginning to feel hungry, chose fruit rather than flowers, and went +downstairs with a four-foot square canvas. + +"I ought to have warned you that in the country we always dine at +half-past seven. It was my fault," said Lady Grant. + +Penitence is usually as unconvincing as gratitude, and certainly nobody +in the room, from Jasmine to Hargreaves the parlourmaid waiting to +announce dinner, supposed for a moment that her ladyship was really +assuming responsibility for the long wait. + +"I thought perhaps you might like one of father's pictures," Jasmine +began. + +"Oh dear me ... oh yes," hemmed Lady Grant, who, to do her justice, did +not want to hurt her niece's feelings, but who felt that the +lusciousness of the scene presented might be too much for her husband's +appetite. Sir Hector, craning at the picture, asked what the principal +figure was holding in her basket. + +"Cherries, aren't they?" suggested Lettice. + +"Ah, yes, so they are," her father agreed. "Cherries.... Precisely.... +Come, come, we mustn't let the soup get cold. The dessert can wait." + +On the wings of a dreary little titter they moved toward the +dining-room; Sir Hector, leading the way like a turkey-cock in a +farmyard, murmured, whether in pity for the dead brother who could no +longer feel hungry or in compassion for his art: + +"Poor old Sholto. We must get it framed." + + + + +_Chapter Three_ + + +Jasmine woke up next morning to a vivid acceptance of the fact that from +now onward her life would not be her own. She had been too weary the +night before to grasp fully what this meant. Now, while she lay watching +the sun streaming in through the blind, the value of the long fine day +before her was suddenly depreciated. On an impulse to defeat misgiving +she jumped out of bed, sent up the blind with a jerk that admitted +Monday morning to her room like a jack-in-the-box, stared out over the +wide expanse of pale blue winking sea, sniffed the English seaside +odour, clambered up on her dressing-table to disentangle the blind, +failed to do so, descended again, and began to wonder how she should +occupy herself from six o'clock to nine. And after the long morning, +what a day stretched before her! A little talk with Uncle Hector about +her father, a little talk with Aunt May on the same subject, a lesson in +golf from her cousins, and, worst of all, the heavy foundation stones of +the threatened intimacy between her and Miss Crossfield to be placed in +position. + +"We must get to know each other very well," Miss Crossfield had murmured +when she said good night. "We must pull together." + +And this had been said with such a gloating anticipation of combined +effort and with such a repressed malignity beneath it all that if Miss +Crossfield had added "the teeth of these rich relatives," Jasmine would +not have thought the phrase extravagant. + +She opened her door gently and looked out into the passage. Not even +the sound of snoring was audible; nothing indeed was audible except a +bluebottle's buzz on a window of ground glass that seemed alive with +sunlight. She wandered on tiptoe along the pale green Axminster pile, +went into the bathroom, crossed herself, and turned on the tap. The +running water sounded so torrential at this hour of the morning that she +at once clapped her hand over the tap to throttle the stream until she +could cut it off; during the guilty quiet that succeeded, she hurried +back to her bedroom, which by now was extremely hot. Before Jasmine +stretched years and years of silent sunlit vacancy, in which she would +be walking about on tiptoe and throttling every gush of spontaneous +feeling just as she had throttled that bath tap. + +"And I can't stand it," she said, banging her dressing-table with the +back of her hairbrush. + +She stopped in dismay at the noise, half expecting to hear cries of +"Murder!" from neighbouring rooms. The pale blue sea winked below; the +sun climbed higher. Jasmine sat down before the looking-glass to brush +her hair. A milk-cart clinked; rugs were being shaken below. Jasmine +still sat brushing her hair. The voices of gossiping servants were heard +above the steady chirp of sparrows. When Jasmine's hair was more +thoroughly brushed than it ever had been, she took her bath, and when +her hair was dry she brushed it all over again. + +At a quarter to nine Sir Hector found her waiting in the dining-room, +the first down. His pleasure at such unexpected punctuality almost +compensated him for the fact that she had dared to open his paper and, +like all women, even his own wife, that she had turned an ordinary +sixteen-page newspaper into a complicated puzzle. + +"Well," he said pompously, "you wouldn't find better weather than this +in Italy, would you?" + +He managed to suggest that the glorious morning was Uncle Hector's own +little treat, a little treat, moreover, that nobody but Uncle Hector +would have thought of providing, or at any rate been able to provide. + +"Yes," he went on, "and what a crime that all this should be +vulgarized." He included the firmament in an ample gesture. "I expect +your aunt told you that this will be our last summer in Spaborough? We +didn't come here to be pestered by trippers. That boarding-house next +door is a disgrace to South Parade. They were playing a gramophone last +night--laughing and talking out there on the steps until after one +o'clock. How people expect to get any benefit from their holidays I +don't know. We'd always been free from that sort of rowdiness until they +opened that pernicious boarding-house next door, and now it's worse than +Bank Holiday. Some people seem blind to the beauty round them. I suppose +when the moon gets to the full we shall hear them jabbering out there +till dawn. What _have_ you been doing to my paper? It's utterly +disorganized!" + +Jasmine diverted her uncle's attention from the newspaper to the basket +of prickly pears that she had brought from Sirene, and invited him to +try one. + +Sir Hector examined his niece's unnatural fruit as the night before he +had examined his brother's unnatural fruit. + +"Well, I don't know," he hemmed. "We're rather old-fashioned people +here, you know." + +"I think the prickles have all been taken out," said Jasmine +encouragingly, "but you'd better be careful in case they haven't." + +Sir Hector had been on the verge of prodding one of the pears, but at +his niece's warning he drew back in alarm; and just then the clock on +the mantelpiece struck nine. Before the last stroke died away the whole +family was sitting down to breakfast. Jasmine's punctuality was +evidently a great satisfaction to her relatives, and if she did look +rather like a chocolate drop that had fallen into the tray reserved for +fondants, she felt much more at home now than she had at dinner last +night. Nothing occurred to mar the amity of the breakfast-table until +Lady Grant's fat fox-terrier began to tear round the room as if +possessed by a devil, clawing from time to time at his nose with both +front paws and turning somersaults. Lady Grant, who ascribed all the +ills of dogs to picking up unlicensed scraps, rang the bell and asked +severely if Hargreaves, whose duty it was to supervise the dog's early +morning promenade, had allowed him to eat anything in the road; but it +was Jasmine who diagnosed his complaint correctly. + +"I think he has been sniffing the prickly pears," she said. + +"But what dangerous things to leave about!" exclaimed her aunt. +"Hargreaves, take the basket out into the kitchen and tell cook to empty +them carefully--carefully, mind, or she may hurt herself--into the +pineapple dish. She had better wear gloves. And if she can't manage +them," Lady Grant called after the parlourmaid, who was gingerly +carrying out the basket at arm's length, "if she can't manage them, they +must be burnt. On no account must they be thrown into the dustbin. I'm +sorry that we don't appreciate your Italian fruit," she added, turning +to her niece, "I'm afraid you'll find us very stay-at-home people, and +you know English servants hate anything in the least unusual." + +"How they must hate me!" Jasmine thought. + +"And what is the programme for to-day?" asked Sir Hector suddenly, +flinging down the paper with such a crackle that Jasmine would not have +been more startled if like a clown he had jumped clean through it into +the conversation. + +"Well, we _were_ going to play golf," said Lettice disagreeably. + +"Oh then, please do," said Jasmine hurriedly, for she felt that a future +had been mutilated into imperfection by the responsibility of +entertaining herself. + +"Jasmine and I have a little business to talk over after breakfast," Sir +Hector announced. "So you girls had better be independent this morning, +and give Jasmine her first lesson this afternoon." + +The girls looked at their father coldly. + +"We've got a foursome on with Dick Onslowe and Claude Whittaker this +morning, and if George Huntingford turns up this afternoon," said +Lettice, "I've got a match with him. But if Pamela isn't engaged, I +daresay she will look after Jasmine, that is if she can find her way to +the club-house." + +"But Roy Medlicott said he might get to the links this afternoon," +protested Pamela. "And if he does, I shan't be able to look after +Jasmine." + +"Well, we might get Tommy Waterall to give her a lesson," proposed +Lettice. Something in her cousin's intonation made Jasmine realize that +Tommy Waterall was the charitable institution of that golf club, and she +vowed to herself that she at any rate would not be beholden to him, even +if she were successful in finding her way to the club-house, which was +unlikely. + +Jasmine's little talk with her uncle was the smallest ever known. Sir +Hector, as a consulting nerve specialist, was accustomed to ask more +questions than he answered, and since the only positive information he +had to impart to his niece was the fact that she had not a penny in the +world, the theme did not lend itself to eloquence. + +"Yes, that's how your affairs stand," said Sir Hector. "But you mustn't +worry yourself." He was just going to dilate on the deleterious effects +of worry, as though Jasmine were a rich patient, when he remembered that +whether she worried or not it was of no importance to him. His +observations on worry, therefore, those very observations which had won +for him a fortune and a title, were not placed at his niece's disposal. +The little talk was over, and Sir Hector strode from the study to +proclaim the news. + +"We've had our little talk," he bellowed. Lettice and Pamela, +delightfully equipped for golf in shrimp-pink jerseys, passed coldly by. +It was one of those moments which do give a nose an opportunity of +showing off, and Sir Hector, afraid of being snubbed, drew back into his +study. When he heard the front door slam, he emerged again, and shouted +louder than ever: "We have had our little talk!" + +Lady Grant appeared from another door further along the hall, her hand +pressed painfully to her forehead. + +"Couldn't you wait a little while, dear, until I have finished doing the +books?" + +"Sorry," said Sir Hector, retreating again. He was wishing that he had +at Strathspey House his Harley Street waiting-room into which he could +have pushed Jasmine to occupy herself there with illustrated papers a +month old and not disturb him by her presence. "Perhaps you might care +to go and wait for your aunt in the drawing-room," he suggested +finally. "I know she's very anxious to say a few words to you about your +father--your poor father." The epithet was intended to be sympathetic, +not sarcastic, but Jasmine bolted from the room with her handkerchief to +her eyes. + +"A leetle overwrought," murmured Sir Hector, as if he were talking to a +patient. But soon he lighted a cigar and forgot all about his niece. + +There are few places in this world that cast a more profound gloom upon +the human spirit than a sunny English drawing-room at 9.45 a.m. Its +welcome is as frigid as a woman who fends off a kiss because she has +just made up her lips. + +"If I feel like this now," said Jasmine to herself, "_Dio mio_, what shall +I feel like in a month's time?" + +She put away the handkerchief almost at once, for even grief was frozen +in this house, and memories that yesterday would have brought tears to +her eyes were to-day so hardly imaginable that they had no power to +affect her. "I'm really just as much dead as father," she sighed to the +Japanese blinds that rustled faintly in a faint breeze from the sea. On +an impulse she rushed upstairs to her bedroom, took off her black +clothes, and came down again to the dining-room in a yellow silk jersey +and a white skirt. + +"My dear Jasmine!... Already?..." ejaculated her aunt, when the +household accounts were finished and she found her niece waiting for her +in the drawing-room. "I don't know that your uncle will quite approve, +so very soon after his brother's death." + +"I don't believe in mourning." + +"My dear child, are you quite old enough to give such a decided opinion +on a custom which is universally followed--even by savages?" + +"Father would perfectly understand my feelings." + +"I daresay your father would understand, but I don't think your uncle +will understand." + +And one felt that Sholto's comprehension in Paradise was a poor thing +compared with his brother's lack of it on earth. + +"Anyway, I'm not going to wear black any longer," said Jasmine curtly. + +"As you will," her aunt replied with grave resignation. "Oh, and before +I forget, I have told Hopkins to show you exactly how the blind is +pulled up in your room. I'm afraid you didn't keep hold of the lower +tassel this morning. They're still trying to get it down, and I am very +much afraid we shall have to send for a carpenter to mend it. If you +pull the string on the right without holding the lower tassel----" + +"I know," Jasmine interrupted. "I'm rather like that blind myself." + +Lady Grant hoped inwardly that her niece was not going to be difficult, +and changed the subject. "You have no doubt gathered by now exactly how +you stand," she went on. "I know you've been having a little talk with +your uncle, and I know that there is nothing more galling than a sense +of dependency. So I was going to suggest that when we went back to +Harley Street in September you should take Edith Crossfield's place and +help me with my numerous--well, really I suppose I _must_ call them +that--my numerous charities. At present Cousin Edith only answers all my +letters for me; but I daresay you will find many ways of making yourself +much more useful than that, because you are younger and more energetic +than poor Edith. Though, of course, while we are at Spaborough I want +you to consider yourself as much on a holiday as we all are. Do make up +your mind to get plenty of good fresh air and exercise. The girls are +quite horrified to hear that you have never played golf, especially as +they're so good at it themselves. Lettice is only four at the Scottish +Ladies'. Or is it five? Dear me, I've forgotten! How angry the dear +child would be!" + +"I'm D--E--A--D, dead," Jasmine was saying to herself all the time her +aunt was speaking. + +And perhaps it was because she looked so much like a corpse that her +aunt recommended a course of iron to bring back her roses. Lady Grant +was so much accustomed wherever she looked, even if it were in her own +glass, to see roses that Jasmine's pallor was unpleasant to her. +Besides, it might mean that she really was delicate, which would be a +nuisance. + +"It's almost a pity," she said, "that your uncle did not postpone his +little talk, so that you could have gone with the girls to the links. +They have such wonderful complexions, I always think." + +"Please don't worry about me," said Jasmine quickly. "I can amuse myself +perfectly well by myself." + +"My dear," said Lady Grant, asserting the purity of her motives with +such a gentle air of martyrdom as Saint Agnes may have used toward +Symphronius, "you misunderstand me. You are not at all in the way; but +as I have some private letters to write, I was going to suggest that you +and Cousin Edith should take a little walk and see something of +Spaborough." + +"Little walks, little talks, little talks, little walks," spun the +jingle in Jasmine's mind. + +At this moment the companion proposed for Jasmine floated into the room. +Miss Crossfield was so thin, her movements and gestures were so +indeterminate, and her arms wandered so much upon the air, that indoors +she suggested a daddy-longlegs on a window-pane, and out of doors a +daddy-longlegs floating across an upland pasture in autumn. It was +perhaps this extreme attenuation that gave her subservience a kind of +spirituality; with so little flesh to clog her good will, she was almost +literally a familiar spirit. She materialized like one of those obedient +genies in the Arabian Nights whenever Lady Grant rang the bell, and she +endowed that ring with as much magic as if it had been the golden ring +of Abanazar. + +"Edith," said Lady Grant magnanimously, "I am writing my own letters +this morning to give you the opportunity of taking Jasmine for a little +walk. You had better take Spot with you--on the lead, of course." + +That at any rate would tie Cousin Edith to earth, Jasmine thought, for +Spot was so fat and so porcine that he was unlikely to run away and +carry Cousin Edith with him in a Gadarene rush down the face of the +cliff. Yes, with Spot to detain her, not much could happen to Cousin +Edith. + +But Jasmine was wrong. Spot had a fetish: the sensation of twigs or +leaves faintly tickling his back gave him such exquisite pleasure that +to secure it he would use the cunning of a morphinomaniac in pursuit of +his drug. He would put back his ears and creep very slowly under the +lower branches of a shrub, so that Cousin Edith, who in her affection +for the family felt bound to indulge the dog to the whole length of his +lead and even further, was lured after him deep into the chosen bush, so +that finally, immaterial as she was, she was herself entangled in the +upper branches. + +"I think I'm getting rather scratched," she would cry helplessly to +Jasmine, who would have to come to the rescue with a sharp tug at Spot's +lead. This used to give such a shock to the bloated fox-terrier that, +torn from his sensation of being scratched by canine houris, he would +choke, while Cousin Edith, dancing feebly on the still autumn air, would +beg Jasmine never again to be so rough with him. + +The music of the Spa band grew louder while they were descending the +winding paths of the cliff, until at last it burst upon Jasmine with the +full force of an operatic finale and gave a throb of life to her +hitherto lifeless morning. The music stopped before they reached the +last curve of the descent, where they paused a moment to watch the +movement of the dædal throng, above which parasols floated like great +butterflies. From the sands beyond, above the chattering, came up the +sound of children's laughter, and beyond that the pale blue winking sea +was fused with the sky in the silver haze of August so that the furthest +ships were sailing in the clouds. + +And then, just when it really was beginning to seem worth while to be +alive again, Cousin Edith's hand alighted uncertainly like a +daddy-longlegs on Jasmine's arm and jigged up and down as a prelude to +whispering in what, were that insect vocal, would certainly have been +the voice of a daddy-longlegs: + +"Do you think we can communicate with the dead?" + +"No, I don't," said Jasmine sharply. "And if we could, I shouldn't want +to." + +Cousin Edith opened wide her globular eyes, which, like those of an +insect, were set apparently on her face rather than in it. But before +she could combat the blasphemy she had been lured by Spot deep into a +privet bush, so deep that the old rhyme came into Jasmine's head about +the man of Thessaly who scratched out his eyes in bushes and at his own +will scratched them in again in other bushes. He must have had eyes like +Cousin Edith's--external and globular. + +"Poor old Spot," she murmured, disengaging her lips from a cobweb as +genteelly as possible. "He so enjoys his little walk. Up here now, +dear," she added, seeing that Jasmine was preparing to go down to the +promenade. + +"But shan't we go and listen to the music?" + +"We have Spot with us." + +"Well?" + +Cousin Edith came very close to her and whispered: + +"Dogs are not allowed on the promenade." + +"Then let's tie him up and leave him here," suggested Jasmine. + +Cousin Edith laughed. At least Jasmine supposed it was a laugh, even if +it did sound more like the squeaking of a slate pencil. Indeed she was +pretty sure that it was a laugh, because when it was finished Cousin +Edith's fingers danced along her arm and she said: + +"How droll you are! We'll go out by the north gate. Unless," she added, +"you would like to sit in this summer-house for a little while and +listen to the band from here." + +There was a summer-house close at hand which, with the appearance of a +decayed beehive, smelt of dry-rot and was littered with paper bags. + +"I often sit here," Cousin Edith explained. Jasmine was tempted to reply +that she looked as if she did; but a sense of inability to struggle any +longer against the withering influence of the Grants came over her, and +she followed Cousin Edith into the summer-house. There on a semicircular +rustic seat they sat in silence, staring out at the dim green world, +while Spot seduced a few strands of the tangled creeper round the +entrance to play upon his back paradisal symphonies. Then Cousin Edith +began to talk again; and while she talked a myriad little noises of +insect life in the summer-house, which had been temporarily disturbed, +began again--little whispers, little scratches, little dry sounds that +were indefinable. + +"You have no idea how kind Cousin May is. But, of course, she isn't +Cousin May to you, she's Aunt May, isn't she?" Again the desiccated +titter of Cousin Edith's mirth sounded. The myriad noises stopped in +alarm for a moment, but quickly went on again. "Already she has planned +for you a delightful surprise." + +Jasmine's impulsive heart leaped toward the good intention of her aunt, +and with an eager question in her eyes she jumped round so energetically +that she shook the fabric, bringing down a skeleton leaf of ivy, which +fluttered over Spot's back and gave him the finest thrill of the +morning. + +"What can it be?" she cried, clapping her hands. This was too much for +the summer-house. Skeleton leaves, twigs, dead flies, mummied earwigs +began to drop down in all directions. + +"It's quite dusty in here," said Cousin Edith in a perplexed tone. "I +think perhaps we had better be moving along." + +"But the surprise?" Jasmine persisted. + +Cousin Edith trembled with self-importance, and her long forefinger +waved like an antenna when she bade Jasmine follow her in the direction +of the promised revelation. They strolled along the winding paths of the +shrubberies above the promenade until they reached the main entrance of +the Spa. + +"Will you hold Spot for a tiny minute? I have a little business here," +Cousin Edith pleaded. Having adjured Spot to be a good dog, and promised +him that she would not be long, Cousin Edith engaged the ticket clerk in +a conversation, and so much did she appear to be pecking at her purse +and so nearly did she seem to be ruffling her feathers when she bobbed +her hat up and down that if she had presently flown into the office +through the pigeon-hole and perched beside her mate on the desk inside +it would have appeared natural. Jasmine might have wondered what Cousin +Edith was doing if she had not been too much occupied with Spot, who in +default of a convenient bush was trying to extract his dorsal sensations +from a little girl's frock. When he was jerked away by a heavier hand +than Cousin Edith's he began to growl, whereupon Jasmine smacked him +with her glove, which so surprised the fat dog that he collapsed in the +path and breathed stertorously to attract the sympathy of the +passers-by. Cousin Edith came back from her colloquy with the clerk, and +in a rapture of esoteric benevolence she pressed into Jasmine's palm a +round green cardboard disk. + +"Your season ticket," she murmured. "Cousin May--I mean Aunt May--asked +me to buy you one while we were out." + +Jasmine felt that she ought to jump in the air and embrace the +gate-keeper in the excess of her joy. As for Cousin Edith, she watched +her as one watches a child that has been given a sweet too large for its +mouth. She seemed afraid that Jasmine would choke if she swallowed such +a benefaction whole. + +"And now," she said, as if after such a display of generosity it were +incredible that there might be more to come, "and now Aunt May--there, I +said it right that time!--Aunt May suggested that we might have a cup of +chocolate together at the Oriental Café afterwards." + +"Hullo!" cried a cheerful voice, which brought Jasmine back to earth +from the dazzling prospects being offered by Cousin Edith. "Why, we've +met even sooner than I hoped we should." + +Jasmine's sandy-haired railway companion, looking delightfully at ease, +every freckle in his face twinkling with geniality and pleasure, shook +hands. For the first time she regretted that it was Cousin Edith's duty +to hold Spot. If Cousin Edith had not been detained by the fat +fox-terrier, she might have floated away like a child's balloon, such +evident dismay did Mr. Vibart's irruption create in one who was under +the obsession that all the young men in the world fit to be known were +already friends of Lettice and Pamela. Jasmine introduced Mr. Vibart +without any explanation, and poor Cousin Edith, who was too genteel, and +had been too long dependent to know how to escape from an +acquaintanceship she did not wish to be forced on her, allowed Mr. +Vibart to shake her hand. When, however, he calmly suggested that they +should all turn back and listen to the band, she pulled herself together +and declared that it was quite impossible. + +"The dog...." she began. + +"Oh, we'll leave the dog with the gate-keeper," said Mr. Vibart. + +"I'm afraid, Jasmine, your friend doesn't understand that dear old Spot +is quite one of the family." And turning with a bitter-sweet smile to +the intrusive young man: "Spot is a great responsibility," she added. + +"I should think so," Mr. Vibart agreed, regarding with unconcealed +disgust the fox-terrier, who, having been rolling on his back in the +dust, looked now more like a sheep than a pig. Jasmine understood at +once what Mr. Vibart wanted, and as she wanted the same thing so much +herself she nearly answered his unspoken invitation by saying, "Very +well, Mr. Vibart and I will go and listen to the band for half an hour, +and when you've finished your chocolate at the café, we'll meet you +here." She felt, however, that such independence of action was too +precipitate for Spaborough. + +"I'm afraid that we were just going to the Oriental Café," Cousin Edith +had begun, when Mr. Vibart interrupted her. + +"Capital! Just what I should like to do myself!" + +Before Cousin Edith could do anything about it they were all on their +way to the town; but by the time the café was reached she had perfected +her strategy. + +"Thank you very much for escorting us," she murmured. "Miss Grant and I +are much obliged to you. You, of course, will prefer the smoking-room. +We always go into the ladies' room." + +The Oriental Café included among its appropriate features a zenana, +outside the door of which, marked _LADIES ONLY_, Mr. Vibart was left +disconsolate, although before it closed Jasmine had managed to whisper, +"Strathspey House, South Parade." + +Within the zenana, to which Spot was admitted as little boys under six +are admitted to ladies' bathing-machines, Cousin Edith warned a young +girl against the wiles of men. + +"I shan't say anything to Aunt May about this unpleasant little +business," she promised Jasmine, who was convinced that she would take +the first opportunity to tell her aunt everything. "No, I shan't tell +Aunt May," Cousin Edith went on, "because I think it would pain her. +She's so particular about Lettice and Pamela, and we always have such +nice men at Strathspey House." But lest Jasmine should suppose that the +presence of nice men there implied a chance for her in the near future, +she made haste to add: + +"Though, of course, we must always be careful, even with the nicest men. +I must say that it seems to me a dreadful idea that a young girl like +you should be able to meet a man in the train, travel with him +unprotected, and actually be accosted by him the next day. Ugh! I'm so +glad we had Spot with us! Brave old Spot!" And in her gratitude to Spot +for the preservation of their modesty she gave him half of one of the +free biscuits that the Oriental Café allowed to the purchaser of a cup +of chocolate. + +"Do you know," went on Cousin Edith, flushed by the thought of their +narrow escape and by the deliciously hot chocolate, "do you know that +once, nearly five years ago, a man winked at me in a bus? I was quite +alone inside, and the conductor was taking the fares on the top." + +"What did you do?" Jasmine asked with a smile. + +"Why, of course I rang the bell, got out almost before the bus had fully +stopped, and walked the rest of the way. But it made such an impression +on me that when I reached my friend's house she had to give me several +drops of valerian, my heart was in such a state, what with walking so +fast and being so frightened. Perhaps I oughtn't to have told you such a +horrid story. But I'm older than you, and I want you to feel that I'm +your friend. Oh yes, the things men do! Well, I was brought up very +strictly, but I have a very strong imagination, and sometimes when I'm +alone I just sit and gasp at the wickedness of men. And now," Cousin +Edith concluded with an uneasy glance round the zenana, "I think we +ought to hurry back as fast as we can. Come, Spot! Good old Spot! I'll +show you the Aquarium, dear, as we go home. You can see the roof quite +well when we turn round the corner from Marine Crescent." + +Perhaps Cousin Edith thought that Jasmine's indiscretion would be more +valuable as a weapon for herself if it was unrevealed, for she did not +say a word to Lady Grant about the meeting at the gates of the Spa; +indeed all the way home she talked about nothing except the wonder of +possessing a season ticket of one's own, ascribing to the round green +cardboard disk a potency such as few talismans have possessed. + +"You will be able to go and see the fireworks on gala nights," she +explained, "and you'll be able to go and hear concerts--though, of +course, if you want to sit down you have to pay extra--and you'll be +able to go and drink the waters--though, of course, you have to pay a +penny for the glass--and you'll be able to take a short cut from South +Parade to the beach--though, of course, you won't care for the beach, +because it's apt to be a little vulgar--and then the promenade is far +the best place to hear the pierrots from--though I'm afraid that even +they have been getting vulgar lately. I'm so glad that Cousin May +thought of making you this present. It makes me so happy for you, dear." + +While Cousin Edith was extolling its powers, the green cardboard disk, +which was originally about the size of a florin, seemed to be growing +larger and larger in Jasmine's glove, until by the time South Parade was +reached it seemed the size of a saucer. In fact it was only after +Jasmine had warmly thanked her aunt for the kind thought that it shrank +back into being a small green cardboard disk again. At least she was no +longer aware of its burning her palm; but when she came to take off her +gloves she found that this was because the ticket was no longer there. +The loss of the Koh-i-nur diamond could not have been treated more +seriously. The house was turned upside down, and small parties were sent +out into South Parade to examine carefully every paving stone and to +peer down the gratings of the drains. Sir Hector, who had been in +charge of the operations conducted inside the house, suddenly became +overheated and announced that it was useless to search any longer, but +that when he paid his own afternoon visit to the Spa he would go into +the question with the authorities, and if necessary actually buy another +ticket. + +"And perhaps your uncle will take you with him," said Lady Grant. + +Cousin Edith clasped her hands in envious amazement. "Jasmine!" she +exclaimed. "Do you hear that? Perhaps Sir Hector will take you with +him!" + +Lettice and Pamela did not come back to lunch, and at four o'clock Sir +Hector sent Hargreaves up to Jasmine's room to inform her that he was +ready. Two minutes later he sent Hargreaves up to say that he was +waiting. Four minutes later he sent Hargreaves up to say that he would +walk slowly on. Six minutes later, Jasmine, not quite sure which way her +hat was facing or whether her dress was properly fastened, found Sir +Hector, watch in hand, at the nearest entrance of the gardens. + +"If there is ever any doubt about the time," he told her, "we always +follow the clock in my room. Let me see. You have lost your season +ticket, so that at this entrance you will have to pay. Wait a minute, +however; I will see if the gate-keeper will let you through for once." + +The gate-keeper was perfectly willing to trust Sir Hector's account of +the accident to the season ticket, and Sir Hector, carrying himself more +upright even than usual, observed to Jasmine as they walked along +towards the main entrance, "You see they know me here." + +"Now where are you going to keep this ticket so that you don't lose it +like the other one?" asked Sir Hector when he had presented Jasmine with +the second small green disk, for which the management had regretfully +but firmly exacted another payment. + +Jasmine proposed to put it in her purse. + +"Yes," said Sir Hector judicially, "that might be a good place. But be +very careful that you don't drop it when you want to take out any +money." + +"There's only tenpence halfpenny to take out," said Jasmine. "But I can +put the ticket in the inside compartment, which is meant for gold." + +"Good Heavens! I hope you don't carry much gold about with you," +exclaimed her uncle. + +"No, not very much," she replied. "A broken locket, that's all." + +On the way to the promenade Sir Hector was saluted respectfully by +various people; and several ladies sitting on sunny benches quivered as +he went by, with that indescribable tribute of the senses which they +accord to a popular Lenten preacher who passes them on the way to the +pulpit. + +"Some of my patients," Sir Hector explained. + +Jasmine wondered if it would be more tactful to say that they looked +very well or that they looked very ill; not being able to decide, she +smiled. At that moment Sir Hector stopped beside a bath-chair. + +"Duchess," he proclaimed in a voice sufficiently loud to be heard by all +the passers-by, most of whom turned round and stared, first at the +Duchess, then at Sir Hector, then at Jasmine, and finally at the +chairman, "you are looking definitely better." + +"Ah, Sir Hector, I wish I felt better." + +"You will.... You will...." Sir Hector prophesied, and, raising his hat, +he passed on. + +"That," he said to Jasmine, "is Georgina, Duchess of Shropshire. Yes +... yes ... it's odd.... They're all my patients.... The Duchess of +Shropshire, ... Georgina, Duchess of Shropshire, ... Eleanor, Duchess of +Shropshire." + +Jasmine, who came from Sirene, where any summer Italian duchesses +bathing are to be found as thick as limpets on the rocks, was less +impressed than she ought to have been. + +"What's the matter with her?" she enquired. + +Sir Hector never encouraged his patients to ask what was the matter with +themselves, and he certainly did not approve of his niece's enquiry. + +"You would hardly understand," he said severely, and then relapsed into +silence, to concentrate upon threading his way through the crowd of the +Promenade. + +Sir Hector, who wished to be the cynosure of the promenaders floating +with the opposite current, kept on the extreme edge of the downward +stream, so that Jasmine, with two feet less height than her uncle and no +title, found it difficult to make headway, so difficult indeed that in +trying to keep up with him she got too much to the left and was swept +back by the contrary stream, in which, though she managed to keep her +season ticket, she lost herself. Several times during this promenade +eternal as the winds of hell, she caught sight of her uncle's neck +lifted above the swirl like a cormorant's, and once she managed to get +to the outside of the stream and actually to pluck at his sleeve as he +went by in the opposite direction; but her voice was drowned by the +music, and he did not notice her. She was beginning to feel tired of +walking round and round like this, and at last, finding herself working +across to the right of the current, she struggled ashore, or in other +words went into the concert room. + +The concert room of the Spa looked like a huge conservatory full of +dead vegetation. The hundreds of chairs stacked one upon another in rows +seemed a brake of withered canes; the music-stands on the platform +resembled the dried-up stalks of small shrubs; while the few palms and +foliage plants that preserved their greenery only served to enhance the +deadness all round, and were themselves streaked with decay. Outside, +the gay throng passing and repassing like fish added a final touch to +the desolation of the interior. Two small boys, with backward uneasy +glances, were creeping furtively through the maze of chairs. Jasmine +thought that they like herself had been overcome by the mystery haunting +this light and arid interior, until a dull boom from the direction of +the platform, followed by the screech of hurriedly moved chairs and the +clatter of frightened feet made her realize that their cautious advance +had been the preliminary to a daring attempt to bang, if only once, the +big drum muffled in baize. No sooner had the boys successfully escaped +than Jasmine was seized with a strong desire to bang the drum for +herself, to bang it, however, much more loudly than those boys had +banged it, to raise the drumstick high above her and bring it down upon +the drum as a smith brings his hammer down upon the anvil. The longer +she sat here, the harder she found it to keep away from the platform. +Finally the temptation became too strong to be resisted; she snatched +the baize cover from the instrument, seized the drumstick, and brought +it down with a crash. + +"I wish I could do that at Strathspey House," she sighed; and then, +hearing a voice at the back of the hall, she turned round to see an +indignant man in a green baize apron looking at her over folded arms. + +"Here! you mustn't do that," he was protesting. + +"I'm sorry," said Jasmine. "I simply couldn't help it." + +"It isn't as if I didn't have to spend half my time as it is chasing +boys out of here, but I never reckoned to have to go chasing after young +ladies." + +"No; I'm sorry," said Jasmine. She hesitated for a moment what to do; +then she thought of her talisman and fumbled in her purse. The attendant +wiped his hands on the apron in preparation for the half-crown that he +estimated was the least remuneration he could receive for the loudest +bang on that drum he had ever heard, and when Jasmine produced nothing +but a season ticket he was inclined to be nasty. + +"You needn't think you can come in here and rattle all the windows and +fetch me away from my work just because you're a season ticket holder, +which only makes it worse in my opinion, and I'll have to take your name +and number, miss, and complain to the management. That's all there is to +it. I've been asking to have this place closed when not in use, and now +perhaps they'll do it. Only this morning I barked my shins something +cruel trying to catch hold of a boy who was playing the banjo on the +double bass. I've got your number, miss, 17874, and you'll hear from the +management about it; and that's all there is to it." + +He wiped his other hand on the apron and waited a moment; when Jasmine +did not seem to understand what he wanted, he invited her to leave the +hall forthwith, and retired to formulate his complaint. As for Jasmine, +she rejoined the throng; but by now, in whatever direction she looked, +she could not even see Sir Hector's long red neck, much less meet him +face to face. She began to be bewitched by the continuous circling round +the bandstand. It was really delicious on this golden afternoon to be +borne round upon these mingled perfumes of scent and asphalt. The +asphalt, softened by the heat, was pleasant to walk on, like grass, and +it was only after circling for about half an hour that she realized how +tiring it was to the feet. At this moment the music stopped; the opening +bars of _God Save the King_ were played; a patriotic gentleman next to +her planted his foot on her own in his desire to remind people that he +was an old soldier. Two minutes later the Promenade was empty, and +Jasmine, with any number of chairs to choose from now, sat down. + +She had not been there more than five minutes when round the corner came +Mr. Vibart, walking in the way people walk when they have an object. + +"I hoped I should find you on the Spa," he said. "I've just called at +your home. Don't be frightened," he went on at Jasmine's expression of +alarm, "I didn't ask for you. I rang the bell and asked if they had a +vacant apartment, and how much the board was a day. Luck was on my side. +The maid was just coming to from her swoon when an old boy looking like +a turkey that's nearly had its neck wrung came shouting through the +garden that he had lost Jasmine on the Promenade. I didn't wait to hear +any more, but hurried down as fast as I could. And here I am, full of +schemes. But I decided not to put any of them into practice until I'd +seen you again." + +"Oh, but it's all turned out much worse than what I expected," said +Jasmine hurriedly. "You mustn't come and call or do anything like that. +Why, I'm almost frightened to ring the bell myself, and if I heard any +of my friends ring a bell I don't know what I should do. I'm not a bit +of a success. I heard my aunt say _sotto voce_ that she distrusted dark +people. I lost a season ticket this morning which cost I don't know how +many shillings. I've lost my uncle now. If you come and call, _sarò +perduta io_. And now I must say good-bye and go back." + +"Well, don't break into Japanese like that. Let's sit down and talk over +the situation." + +"No, no, no! I must say good-bye and hurry back." + +"I don't want to compromise you and all that," the young man protested, +"but it seems a pity not to enjoy this weather." + +"No, please go away," Jasmine begged. "It's all perfectly different to +anything I ever imagined. Quite different. I'm sorry I gave you my +address this morning." + +Jasmine was getting more and more nervous. She had an idea that Cousin +Edith would be sent to look for her; if Cousin Edith found her talking +to Mr. Vibart by the deserted bandstand she would suppose that the +assignation had been made that morning. All sorts of ideas swirled into +Jasmine's mind, and she began to hurry towards the winding path up the +cliff. + +"At any rate you might let me walk back with you as far as the +entrance," he suggested. + +"No, please, really. You make me nervous. You don't in the least +understand my position." + +Mr. Vibart looked so sad that Jasmine hesitated. + +"Don't you play a game called golf?" she asked. + +"Yes, I do play a game called golf," he laughed. + +"Well, I believe they're going to teach me, so perhaps we might meet on +the golf grounds," said Jasmine. "My cousins went there this morning and +didn't come back for lunch, and I think they go every day." + +"I see the notion. I must get to know them, what?" + +"Yes, I don't think it will be very difficult," Jasmine answered. She +was speaking simply, not maliciously. "They seem to know lots of people +who play this game. But if you do meet them, for goodness' sake don't +say you know me. Turn round! Turn round!" she cried in agony. "Turn +round straight away in the other direction without looking back! Do what +I tell you! Do what I tell you!" + +Round the next bend of the laurel-edged walk Jasmine met Cousin Edith, +who, unencumbered by Spot, was floating towards her as a daddy-longlegs +floats towards a lamp. + +Jasmine found it difficult to make her uncle understand how she had been +lost. + +"I cannot think where you got to," he said. "I looked about everywhere. +Most extraordinary!" + +"I'm sure she didn't mean to get lost, Sir Hector," Cousin Edith put in +with just enough accent on the intention to create a suspicion of +Jasmine's sincerity. + +"No, of course she didn't mean to get lost," Sir Hector gobbled. "Nobody +means to get lost. But you'll have to learn to keep your head, young +lady. However, all's well that ends well, so we'll say no more about it. +Where are the girls?" + +Just then the girls came in, and Jasmine hoped that she was going to be +invited to partake of the mysterious game that occupied so much of their +time. All indeed promised well, for several allusions were made in the +course of dinner to the necessity of introducing her to the joys of +golf. Next morning, however, Lettice and Pamela went off as usual, and +as an intoxicating treat for Jasmine it was proposed that Cousin Edith +should show her the Castle. + +"It might be a little far for Spot," Cousin Edith humbly objected. + +"Yes, I think you are right," Lady Grant agreed. "So Spot shall take a +little walk with his mother." + +It was supposed to be necessary for Cousin Edith to translate into baby +language for Spot his mother's wishes, after which she turned to Lady +Grant and proclaimed intensely: + +"He knows." + +Spot was standing on three legs and scratching himself with the fourth, +which was presumably his method of acknowledging the success of Cousin +Edith's interpretation. + +The walk up to the Castle was long and hot; the Castle was a little more +uninteresting than most ruins are. Cousin Edith poetized upon the +romance of the past; Jasmine counted two hundred and nine paper bags. + +When they got back to Strathspey House it was obvious that something +unpleasant had occurred during their absence. Cousin Edith tried all +through lunch to give her impression of the delight Jasmine had tasted +in going to the Castle; but her account of the morning's entertainment +was received so coldly by her patrons that in the end she was silent, +shrinking into such insignificance and humility that the faint clicking +of her false teeth was her only contribution to actuality. After lunch a +few whispers were exchanged between her and Lady Grant, at the +conclusion of which she danced on tiptoe out of the dining-room, and +Lady Grant turned to her niece. + +"Your uncle wishes to speak to you," she announced gravely. + +Sir Hector, who during these preliminaries had been hiding behind the +newspaper, jumped up and took a letter from his pocket. + +"Can you explain this?" he demanded. + +His wife had moved over to the window and was looking out at the sky in +the way that ladies look at the East window when something in the +preacher's sermon is particularly applicable to a neighbour. Jasmine +read the letter, which was from the director of the Spa: + + Spa Gardens Company, Limited, + + Spaborough, + + _August 15th._ + + _Dear Sir Hector Grant,_ + + _I am writing to you personally and confidentially to ask you + whether season ticket 17874 is really held by one of your family + party. The caretaker of the Concert Room has complained to me that + a young lady holding season ticket 17874, which was traced to the + name of Miss Jasmine Grant, Strathspey House, removed the green + baize cover from the big drum yesterday afternoon the 14th inst. + and struck it several times. We have not been able to trace any + reason for her behaviour, and I should be much obliged if you would + give the matter your kind attention. The Company has of course no + wish to take any action in the matter, and is content to leave all + the necessary steps in your hands. I may add that the drum has been + examined carefully, and I am glad to be able to assure you that it + is quite uninjured. At the same time we rely on our season ticket + holders to set an example to the casual visitors, and I am sure you + will appreciate the delicacy of my position._ + + + _Believe me, my dear Sir Hector Grant,_ + + _Yours very faithfully,_ + + _John Pershore,_ + + _Managing Director._ + +"Yes, I did bang the drum," Jasmine confessed. + +Now if Sir Hector Grant had been asked by one of his patients to cure an +uncontrollable impulse to beat big drums he would have known how to +prescribe for her, and within a week or two of her visit ladies would +have been going round each asking the other if she had heard of Sir +Hector Grant's latest and most wonderful cure. His niece, however, did +not present herself to him as a clinical subject; he had no desire to +analyse her psyche for her own benefit or for the elucidation of the +Flatus Complex. + +"No wonder you were lost," he said bitterly. "I don't suppose you +expected me to look for you among the drums? I don't wish to make a +great fuss about nothing, but I should like to point out that you cannot +accuse me of being backward in coming forward to ... er ... show our ... +er ... affection, and we look, not unreasonably, I hope, for a little +... er ... sympathy on your side. I shall write to Mr. Pershore and +explain that you were brought up in Italy and did not appreciate the +importance of what you were doing. That will, I hope, close the matter. +I cannot think why you don't go and play golf with the girls," he added +fretfully. + +"I should love to go and play golf," Jasmine declared. + +Lady Grant now came forward from the window: perhaps, during this +painful scene she had made up her mind that her niece must be added to +the list of her charities. + +"You must try to realize, my dear child," she said, shaking her head, +"that our only idea is for you to be happy. Have you already forgotten +that you lost your first season ticket? Have you forgotten even that it +was your Uncle Hector himself who immediately offered to buy you another +one? He has not said very much about the drum; but his restraint does +not mean that he has not felt it all dreadfully. And he has had other +things to upset him this morning. Only yesterday one of his oldest +patients jumped out of a fourth storey window and was dashed to pieces. +So we must all be a little considerate. Don't you think that you're too +old to play with drums? What would you think if I went about beating +drums? However, enough has been said." + +Sir Hector blew his nose very loudly, and Jasmine on her way up to her +room thought that if she could trumpet like that with her nose, she +should be content to let drums alone. + + + + +_Chapter Four_ + + +It seemed to be the general opinion of Strathspey House that Jasmine was +reckless, and in order to counteract a propensity that might one day +cause serious trouble to her protectors it was decided to sow the seeds +of prudence by making her a quarterly allowance of £10, on which she was +to dress and provide herself with pocket money. The announcement of the +largesse was made in such a way that if the first ten golden sovereigns +had lain within her reach Jasmine would have been tempted to pick them +up and fling them back at the donors. In order, however, that the +possession of wealth might bring with it a sense of wealth's +responsibilities it had been decided to open an account for her at the +Post Office Savings Bank, and without even so much as an account book to +throw, Jasmine found that all her verbal protestations were interpreted +as a becoming sign of gratitude. + +To say that Jasmine longed for the freedom of Sirene is to express +nothing of the fierce ache she suffered every moment of the day for that +happy island. Adam and Eve when their sons first began to quarrel could +not have looked back with a sharper bitterness of desire to their +childless Eden. The possibility of ever being able to go back there did +not present itself even in the most distant future, and the thought that +with each year the sound of Sirenian mandolins, the scent of Sirenian +roses, and the brilliance of Sirenian moonlight would grow fainter +dabbled Jasmine's pillow with tears when she fell asleep in the +sentimental night-time, and when she woke made of the sun a heavy brass +dish that extinguished instead of illuminating the new day. + +Jasmine's last hope was that her cousins would offer to take her to the +links; but a fortnight passed, on every evening of which it was decided +that she should accompany Lettice and Pamela the following morning, and +on every morning of which it was decided at the last moment that she had +better wait until to-morrow. Her time was spent partly in dreary walks +with Cousin Edith, partly in what Lady Grant euphemistically called +checking her accounts, a process that consisted in Jasmine's having to +be at her elbow for whatever assistance she required in managing the +household and several of her exacting charities. In a rash moment +Jasmine alluded to Aunt Ellen's suggestion about learning to typewrite. +Aunt May declared that this was a capital notion, and presently Cousin +Edith, on one of what she called her little expeditions, discovered in +an obscure part of the town a second-hand typewriter that was really +very cheap. A long discussion ensued whether or not Lady Grant was +justified in spending the £3 10s. asked by the shopman. Cousin Edith for +three successive days wrestled with him penny by penny until for £3 7s. +6d. she secured that typewriter, of which she was as proud as she would +have been proud of her eldest child, that is, of course, with marriage +previously understood. Once she even described it as graceful; and she +used to play upon it ghostly sonatas, occasionally by mistake pressing +too hard upon one of the stops and uttering a rudimentary scream of +affright when she beheld an ambiguous letter take shape upon the paper. +Jasmine, who was seriously expected to become proficient upon this +machine, was not so fond of it. She put forward a theory that, when it +had ceased to be a typewriter, it had been used by children as a toy, +which shocked Cousin Edith. + +"Or perhaps it was saved from a wreck," Jasmine went on. + +"Oh, hush!" Cousin Edith breathed. "How can you say such things?" + +Gradually Jasmine mastered some of the whims of the instrument; she +learnt, for instance, that if one wanted a capital A, the birth of a +capital A had to be helped by pressing down S at the same time; she also +learnt to control the self-assertiveness of the Z, which used to butt in +at the least excuse as if for years it had resented the infrequency of +its employment and, thriving on idleness, was able now when the more +common stops rattled like old bones to dominate them all. + +Jasmine's mastery of the instrument was fatal to her. Nobody else could +use it; and Lady Grant was so pleased with the effect of typewritten +correspondence upon the dignity of her charities that Cousin Edith, +deposed from whatever secretarial state was left to her, found herself +betrayed by her own purchase. Sir Hector, with what was impressed upon +Jasmine as unusual magnanimity even for Sir Hector, had invited his +niece to accompany him once more upon his afternoon walks; but the +arrival of the typewriter kept her so busy that Lady Grant began to say +'To-morrow' to these walks as her daughters said 'To-morrow' to the +links. Finally Jasmine, in a rage, decapitated the Z stop, thereby +producing such a perfect specimen of correspondence that her aunt, much +moved, announced that she really should go to the links on the very next +day, and that she herself would go with her. What happened to the +typewriter between five o'clock that evening and the following morning +was never known; but that epistle was its swan-song. Perhaps the +execution of the Z stop, on whom the others had come to rely so +completely, put too great a strain on their old bones, or perhaps +Cousin Edith in the silence of the night severed the machine's spinal +cord. Anyway, next morning, when Lady Grant, having proposed for the +fifteenth time that visit to the links, asked Jasmine if she would be so +kind as to type out a schedule of the rules of her club for Tired +Sandwichmen, Jasmine announced that the machine was no longer working. +Her aunt seemed unable to believe her, and insisted that the schedule +should be done. Jasmine showed her the first four lines, which looked +like a Magyar proclamation, and Lady Grant exclaimed, "What a waste of +£3 7s. 6d.!" Cousin Edith, whose _amour propre_ was wounded by this +imputation, observed with the bitter mildness of pale India ale: + +"Not altogether wasted, May. Jasmine has learnt typewriting. I wish that +when I was young I had had such an opportunity." + +"Well, perhaps we can go to the links after all," Lady Grant sighed. +"The girls always take the tram, but we'll drive in the car. I don't +think that you had better come, Edith. The last time, don't you +remember, you received that nasty blow with the ball. Hector," she +called, "you wouldn't mind if Cousin Edith gave you your lunch?" + +Sir Hector bowed gallantly, and vowed that he should be delighted to be +given his lunch by Cousin Edith. He was in a good temper that morning, +for he had just been reading the obituary of a rival baronet of +medicine. Cousin Edith did her best to make Jasmine sensible of the +gratitude she owed to her aunt for this wonderful treat, and herself +came as far as the front gate, holding Spot by the collar and waving +until the car was out of sight. + +Jasmine did not much enjoy her drive, because every time they turned a +corner or a child crossed the road a quarter of a mile ahead, or a dog +barked, or a sparrow flew up in front, her aunt gasped and clutched her +wrist. And even when the road was straight and clear as far as they +could see the drive was tiresome, because her aunt could talk about +nothing except Nuckett's carefulness. + +"Nuckett is such a careful driver. But of course he knows that your +uncle would not keep him for a moment otherwise. We hesitated for a long +time before we bought the car, and in fact it wasn't until we had given +Nuckett a month's trial.... Oh, now there's a flock of sheep! Thank +goodness it's Nuckett, who's always particularly careful with sheep ... +ah!..." + +And so on, in a mixture of complacency and terror, until they reached +the links and Jasmine was really there. + +Travellers have often related the alarm they felt at first when some +savage chief, wishing to pay his distinguished visitors a compliment, +arranged for a war-dance by the young men of his tribe. It was that kind +of alarm which Jasmine felt when she found herself for the first time on +golf links. She knew that it was a game. She kept assuring herself that +it was only a game. But the Italian strain in her was continually +asserting itself and making her wonder whether people who behaved thus +in jest might not at any moment be seized with an extension of their +madness and take to behaving thus in earnest. + +Lady Grant, however, made her way calmly toward the club-house and put +her name down for lunch with one guest, explaining to Jasmine that no +doubt the girls would have arranged a luncheon party on their own +account. Then she went into the ladies' room, picked up a ladies' paper, +advised Jasmine to do the same, and ensconced herself comfortably in a +wicker chair on the verandah, where she seemed inclined to stay for the +rest of the morning. Half an hour later she looked up from the fifth +paper and asked Jasmine how she liked golf. + +"I don't think I understand it very well yet." + +"It's an interesting game," said her aunt. "Your uncle wanted me to take +it up last year, and I did have two lessons; but I think it's really +more a game for young people, and your uncle decided that it was bad for +my rheumatism. Still, I was beginning to realize its fascination--the +holes, you know, and all that--and I believe that when you actually do +hit the ball each time it's much less tiring. I tried to persuade your +uncle to take it up himself, but he felt it was too late to begin, +although of course he's a member of the club and plays bridge here every +Thursday afternoon." + +Another half-hour went by. + +"Really," Lady Grant declared, "I think the advertisements nowadays are +wonderful. Dear me, how you'll enjoy your first visit to London. You +mustn't spend your allowance too quickly, my dear. You mustn't believe +everything you see in the advertisements." + +While Lady Grant was speaking, the rich voice of Lettice close at hand +was unmistakably heard. + +"He stimied me on the ninth." + +Jasmine looked up apprehensively on an impulse to warn Lettice of her +mother's presence before she gave herself away any more; but at that +moment Lettice saw them and exclaimed rather crossly: + +"Hullo, mother! Are _you_ here?" + +"Yes, dear, I have paid our long-promised visit. Did you have a good +game?" + +Lettice made a gesture of indifference, and there was a short pause. "I +suppose you'll be going home for lunch?" she enquired. + +"No, I've ordered lunch for Jasmine and myself here. But don't let that +disturb you, dear. We shall amuse each other if you and Pamela are +already engaged. We shall understand, shan't we, Jasmine?" + +"As a matter of fact," said Lettice, "we are lunching with Harry Vibart +and Claude Whittaker. We've a foursome on afterwards." + +"Delightful," said her mother genially. "Don't you bother about us. I +don't think I've looked at this week's _Country Life_ yet; have you +finished with it?" she asked Jasmine, who, having for some time been +listlessly turning over the pages had suddenly found _Country Life_ to +be of such absorbing interest that she had buried her face in its faint +oily smell. Lady Grant never really enjoyed looking at a paper unless +she had taken it away from somebody else, and when her niece surrendered +it she smiled at her. + +"My dear Jasmine, how pale you are!" she exclaimed, and bade her ring +the bell for a glass of water. + +Jasmine, with a reproach for her treacherous Southern heart, tried to +appear composed. + +"No, really please, Aunt May," she murmured. + +"But I insist, Jasmine. If you won't look after yourself, I must look +after you. Ring the bell at once, there's a good girl, and you shall +have a glass of water." + +Jasmine, to conceal her emotion, accepted the excuse that her aunt +offered, and did as she had been told. + +"A glass of water for my niece, please, Frank," said Lady Grant to the +waiter, and she managed to convey in the tone of her command that a +glass of water for her niece would be different somehow from ordinary +water. Perhaps it was, for when Frank brought it, all the people round +looked up to watch Jasmine drinking it; and everyone who has drunk water +in similar circumstances will know that it does then have a peculiar +taste of its own, rather like that positive nothingness which is the +flavour of permanganate of potash and peroxide of hydrogen. + +Soon after this Pamela came out on the verandah, and she, like her +sister, had to be reassured of the sanctity of her lunch. + +"But at least," Jasmine thought, "he'll be able to see me, and perhaps +when he sees me he'll ask to be introduced to Aunt May." + +At this moment Frank appeared again and asked Lady Grant in an +awe-struck whisper if she had not ordered cold chicken. + +"Yes, Frank. Cold chicken for two." + +"The head steward asks me to say, my lady, that unfortunately there is +no more cold chicken left." + +"Dear me," Lady Grant exclaimed, "what a disappointment! Well, perhaps +Jasmine and I had better go home to lunch after all." + +Neither Lettice nor Pamela made any attempt to detain her; and Jasmine +decided to forget all about Mr. Vibart, and all about everything indeed +that could ever for one moment lighten her future. + +But Frank protested: + +"I beg pardon, my lady, only the head steward requested me to inform +your ladyship that there is cold duck." + +"Then in that case I think we may as well stay," said her ladyship. + +"The ducks are very tough," Lettice snapped. + +"I beg pardon, Miss Grant," Frank respectfully argued, "the head +steward is now procuring our ducks for the club from another farm. Will +you take apple sauce, my lady?" + +Lady Grant nodded decidedly. + +"Very good, my lady." + +And Frank glided away, leaving in Jasmine's mind the thought of a +powerful and sympathetic personality. + +Ten minutes later they went into the dining-room of the club, where a +quantity of women with bright woollen jerseys and bright harsh voices +shouted across the room the tale of their prowess, or gobbled down their +food in a hurry to get off before the links became crowded. The men too +seemed much excited by what they had achieved so far that morning. For +the first time since she had been in England Jasmine divined that +underneath the stolid Anglo-Saxon exterior palpitated ambition and +romance and the dark emotions of Southern passion. These rosy barbarians +who vied with one another in making their legs ridiculous with fantastic +knickerbockers, whose cheeks were rasped by east winds, who illustrated +with knife and fork and salt-cellar the vicissitudes of their pastime, +became intelligible to her as the leaders of civilization. In Sirene she +had always been proud of being English; but hitherto in Spaborough she +had congratulated herself on being far more Italian. Now with the +consciousness that one of these paladins had turned aside from his +purposeful sport to observe herself, she was eager to join in all this; +and if to smite a ball farther than other women was to be accounted +desirable in the eyes of men, or if to stand on a hillock looking like a +scarecrow in a gale was an invitation to love, then so be it; she should +not disdain such wiles. + +Lady Grant had chosen a small table in the window, one of those small +tables with such a large vase of flowers in the middle that the feeder +is left with the impression that he is eating off the rim of a +flower-pot. Moreover, with the excuse that she did not like so much +light, she had placed herself in a recess of the window, with the result +that Jasmine had her back to the room and the light full in her eyes. + +"I'm afraid you've got the light in your eyes," said her aunt, and she +made signs with her nose that her niece should move over to the left, +where at the next table a fat man with a back like the nether part of a +rhinoceros was taking up so much space that it was obviously impossible +for Jasmine to squeeze her chair between his back and the side of their +table. She hesitated for a moment, hoping that her aunt would indicate +the other side of the table where she herself had been sitting; but she +did not offer to move her bag, which took up what space was left by the +vase of flowers, and Jasmine was too anxious to have a view of the room +to take the risk by moving it herself of being advised to stay where she +was. + +Frank, the waiter, who had come to her rescue once already, was the +instrument chosen by destiny to preserve her a second time from +disappointment. For just as he was handing the duck to Lady Grant, the +fat man at the next table, outraged by some piece of news in the paper +he was reading, threw himself back in his chair so violently that he +swept the dish out of Frank's hand. The noise made everybody look in +their direction, and Lady Grant and Jasmine, who had jumped up in +affright, were conspicuous to the world. It was thus that Mr. Vibart, +lunching at the far end of the room, perceived Jasmine, learned who Lady +Grant was, and without a moment's hesitation came across and insisted +that they should all lunch at his table. Lettice and Pamela did not dare +to look as disagreeable as they felt, for each knew from her sister's +countenance how ugly ill-temper made her. The host was so boisterously +cheerful that the luncheon party appeared to be going splendidly, and +when about two o'clock Lettice glanced at her watch and asked if they +ought not to be getting along with the foursome before the links filled +up, Jasmine thought that she could have no idea how old such fussiness +made her seem. + +"I say, Claude, do you know," Mr. Vibart said gravely to his companion, +a young man to find any other adjective for whom would be a waste of +time, "I say, Claude, I believe I did strain my leg in the ravine before +the eighth. Most extraordinary! It's gone quite stiff." He called to +another friend who was passing out of the dining-room unaccompanied. +"Ryder! Are you engaged this afternoon? I wish you'd take my place in a +foursome, like a good chap. I've strained my leg." + +"Oh, let's postpone it," Lettice begged, with a desperate attempt to +hide with an expression of concern the chagrin she felt. + +"Oh no, don't do that," said Vibart. "Ryder might think you were trying +to snub him. He's an awful sensitive fellow." + +Claude Whittaker, whom Vibart had been kicking under the table with his +strained leg, urged the prosecution of the foursome, and the two +sisters, with a reputation of jolly good-fellowship to maintain, had to +yield. When they were gone, Vibart turned to Lady Grant and asked if he +could come and sit with her on the verandah. He said that he thought he +could manage to limp as far as that. + +"But how are you going to get home?" she asked. + +"Oh, I shall get a lift in a car from somebody." + +Lady Grant hesitated. She was wondering if she should offer to drive +him in hers, or rather she was wondering if she could not manage to get +him and Lettice into the car. + +"Didn't I see you at York railway station about a fortnight ago?" Mr. +Vibart was saying to Jasmine. "On a Sunday afternoon it was." + +"My niece did pass through York," Lady Grant admitted unwillingly. + +"I thought I recognized her. Are you staying long at Spaborough?" + +"My niece is staying with us indefinitely," said Lady Grant. "But how +long we stay in Spaborough will depend rather upon the weather. Besides, +my husband's patients are waiting for him." + +"They will become impatients if he doesn't go back soon," the young man +laughed. + +Lady Grant had never heard anybody make a joke about Sir Hector's +profession, and if Mr. Vibart had not been the heir of an older +baronetcy than her husband's she might have resented it. + +"How long will it be before my daughters get back?" she asked after a +while, when she found that the conversation between Jasmine and Mr. +Vibart was steadily leaving her behind. + +"I should guess in about an hour and a half." + +"Well, in that case I think my niece and I ought to be getting home +now," said Lady Grant. "Perhaps if I sent back the car," she added, "you +would let my daughters drive you home?" + +"Thank you very much," said Mr. Vibart. "I really think I ought not to +wait so long as that. My leg seems to be getting stiffer every second. +But that's all right. I shall get a lift. May I come and call on you +one afternoon, as soon as my leg's a little better?" + +"But of course we shall be delighted," said Lady Grant graciously. +"Perhaps you will arrange a day with my daughter Lettice so that we are +sure to be in? Good-bye, Mr. Vibart. I do hope your leg will soon be all +right." + +"Oh yes, I think it will," said Mr. Vibart. Nor was his optimism +unjustified, for the very next afternoon it was well enough for him to +call at Strathspey House, where, having forgotten to make any +arrangement with Lettice, he found that Sir Hector had just gone out, +that Lady Grant was lying down, and that Jasmine was by herself in the +drawing-room. He knew that Lettice and Pamela were safely engaged on the +links, and before Cousin Edith divined that something was going on in +the house, he had had five minutes alone with Jasmine. + +Mr. Vibart spent most of that five minutes in telling Jasmine how much +he disliked her cousins; he was just going to demonstrate how much he +must like her in order to put up with the company of such cousins for a +whole fortnight of foursomes when Cousin Edith came in. Naturally in +what she called her intimate heart-to-heart talks with the dear girls, +and what they called keeping Cousin Edith from feeling too keenly her +position, she had been told a good deal about young Mr. Vibart, nephew +and heir of Sir John Vibart; and in her anxiety to stand well with +Lettice and Pamela she had committed a kind of vicarious bigamy, so +earnestly had she encouraged both of the girls to believe that she was +the chosen of Mr. Vibart. The moment she heard--and she heard these +things by being as tactful with the servants as she was with the +family--that Mr. Vibart was in the house and was shut up in the +drawing-room with Miss Jasmine, she was alert to defend the honour of +her patrons. She knew, of course, that such an insignificant girl as +Jasmine had no chance of rivalling either dearest Lettice or darling +Pamela; but at the same time Cousin Edith's profound distrust of all men +disinclined her to run any risks. Besides, she saw no reason why Jasmine +should be puffed up with an undue sense of her own importance by being +allowed to suppose that she was capable of entertaining anybody like Mr. +Vibart. + +It may well be imagined, therefore, with what dismay Cousin Edith +discovered that Mr. Vibart was identical with what had already been +magnified by time's distorting hand into an agent of White Slavery, +which was the only kind of appeal she could allow Jasmine to be capable +of making. + +She was now in a dilemma: if she revealed the secret of that meeting in +the Spa, she would have implied that the impression made by Jasmine was +capable of enduring, though it had been stamped and surcharged over and +over again by the images of Lettice and Pamela; on the other hand, if +she kept quiet, and if by any inconceivable chance--and men were +men--this young man should really prefer Jasmine to her cousins, she +would run the risk of being suspected as an accomplice. On the whole, +Cousin Edith decided that it was far safer to betray both parties. She +resolved, while assuring Jasmine of her intention to keep the secret of +her previous acquaintance with Mr. Vibart, to do her best to prevent its +ripening into anything more permanent, and at the first opportunity, by +somehow involving Jasmine with her aunt, to procure her banishment from +the family, and thus remove what seemed likely to be a rival to Lettice, +Pamela, and herself. Thanks to Cousin Edith's discretion nobody +suspected that the two young people were interested in one another. +Indeed it would have needed a considerable display of affection to have +convinced Lettice and Pamela Grant that anybody so foreign-looking as +Jasmine was capable of attracting anybody so English-looking as Harry +Vibart. So Lettice and Pamela supposed that his now daily visits were +paid for them, and though they would have been better pleased to observe +his admiration wax daily on the links, they were much too fond of him to +let him play golf a moment before his leg was completely healed; +moreover, since they did not want him to feel that he was depriving them +of a pleasure, they protested that as a matter of fact they were growing +tired of golf, and that one round in the morning was enough for anybody. +There was a charming display of sisterly affection when Lettice +entreated Pamela and Pamela implored Lettice not to give up golf on her +account. + +"Poor Claude Whittaker will feel quite deserted," Lettice declared +spitefully. + +"Yes," Pamela replied. "Only this morning he asked me why you always +went home for lunch nowadays." + +"I don't know why he should ask that," Lettice exclaimed. + +"Don't you, dear?" her sister sweetly marvelled. + +"For he can't be missing me," said Lettice, "because he's so devoted to +you." + +"Oh no, my dear, he's much more devoted to you," replied Pamela. + +"They're such affectionate girls," Lady Grant whispered to Mr. Vibart. +"They really do admire each other, and that's so rare in sisters +nowadays." Lady Grant always implied by her disapproval of the present +that she and all to do with her were survivals of the Golden Age. "And +really," she went on in a low voice, "everybody likes them. I know that +as a mother I ought not to talk so fondly, but I do believe that they +are the most popular girls anywhere." + +Mr. Vibart nodded in absent-minded sagacity. + +"I never met your uncle, Mr. Vibart," Sir Hector said importantly. + +"No, sir, he keeps very much to himself." + +"Quite so. Quite so." Sir Hector wanted Vibart to realize that baronets +had certain instincts and habits which he, as one of the species, +emphasized in his own manner of life. "No, when I get away for a few +weeks' rest," he went on, "I like to rest; and as I know that your uncle +comes to Spaborough for the same reasons as myself, I haven't disturbed +him with a card. A fine name, a fine name! Fourteenth in precedence, I +believe? A Jacobean creation? Yes, to be sure." Sir Hector wished that +he were a Jacobean creation himself, and he often thought when he saw +himself in the glass that he looked like a Jacobean creation. So he did, +just as Jacobean furniture in Tottenham Court Road looks very like the +real thing. + +"My title dies with me," he sighed, "and to me there's always something +very sad in the thought of a title's becoming extinct. You, I believe, +are the last representative?" + +Vibart nodded. + +"You ought to marry," said Sir Hector, and though the advice was given +by the baronet, it sounded as though it were given by the doctor. + +"I certainly must," Vibart agreed lightly. "By the way, you haven't +forgotten that to-night's a gala night at the Spa?" + +"Indeed no," said Lady Grant. "Aren't we expecting you to dinner, so +that you can escort us afterwards to see the fireworks?" + +Later, when the composition of the evening's party was being discussed, +Jasmine perceived a suggestion hovering on her aunt's lips that she +should stay at home and keep her uncle company. But Sir Hector on this +occasion was somewhat obtuse for a man who had won rank, money, and +reputation by his ability to indulge feminine whims, and he decided that +contrary to his usual custom he would himself attend the gala. + +"I like Vibart," he affirmed when the guest had gone home to dress. "A +very decent fellow indeed. It must be a great consolation to Sir John to +feel that the title will be in good hands. A very fine young fellow +indeed! I shall quite enjoy going to the fireworks with him." + +There was only the problem of Spot's loneliness to be considered, which +it was decided that Cousin Edith should be called upon to solve. + +"Poor old Spot," said Cousin Edith deprecatingly. "Spot shall stay with +me. Yes, he shall, the good old dog! Poor Spot! Good old Spot! I shall +be able to see the rockets beautifully from my window. And Spotticums +will be able to see the rockets too. Yes, he will, the clever old Spot!" + +It was a fine night; the gardens of the Spa were crowded with people, +the sky with stars. Sir Hector, who was tall enough to be independent of +his place in the largest crowd, kept ejaculating, "What a splendid view +we have got! We really are remarkably lucky to have found such an +excellent place! By Jove, that was a magnificent shower of gold! Upon my +soul, I'd forgotten how good the Spa fireworks were." + +Every time Sir Hector applauded a new pyrotechnic effect, the people in +his immediate neighbourhood all stretched their necks and stood on +tiptoe to see if they too could not catch a glimpse of what had aroused +his enthusiasm. The result of this continual straining and struggling +by the crowd was to separate one from another the various members of the +Strathspey House party. + +"Don't bother about the fireworks," said Vibart to Jasmine when one of +Sir Hector's loud expressions of approval had been followed by a kind of +panic of curiosity in his neighbourhood and Jasmine, in order not to be +swept down over the slope of the cliff, had been compelled to catch hold +of Mr. Vibart's arm. "Let's get out of this squash and take a breather." + +It was only when they had pushed their way through to the outskirts of +the crowd that they discovered the full enchantment of the night. A +hump-backed moon, the colour of an old guinea, was lying large upon the +horizon; fairy lamps bordered the paths that wound about the bosky +cliffs; and from time to time bursting rockets were reflected in streaks +of colour upon the tranquil and hueless sea. They strolled along until +they found a deserted corner of the promenade, where, leaning over the +parapet, they watched swarming on the sands below the people who were +come to watch the fireworks as freely as they might watch the stars +every night of their lives. Beyond the crowd stretched a wide expanse of +wet sand, already glimmering faintly in response to the rising moon. +From the beach below a shadow under the parapet breathed up to them in a +hoarse voice: + +"Lovely night for a sail, sir." + +"Why, there's not a breath of wind," Vibart contradicted. + +"Lovely breeze about half a mile out, sir. Better have a couple of +hours' nice sail, sir." + +"It would be rather jolly," Vibart suggested with a glance at Jasmine. +She, her eyes brimming with memories of the South, could not gainsay +him. + +"The whiting's biting something lovely to-night, sir," tempted the +hoarse voice again. "There's a party just come in, sir, took 'em by the +dozen in half an hour." + +A tempting exit to the sands was visible close to where they were +standing, the tall iron turnstile of which was like a gate to the moon. +Vibart hurried through. + +"And now you must come," he pointed out, "because I can't get back." + +"That's right, lady," breathed the voice. "He can't get back." + +A maroon crashed overhead, and before the echoes had died away Jasmine +was on the free side of the turnstile. The voice, which belonged to a +burly longshoreman, led the way seaward, and when they were clear of the +crowd on the beach shouted: + +"_Mermaid_, ahoy! Jonas Pretty is my own name," he added. + +Some of the crew flopped toward them like walruses and helped them along +planks over the ribbed and rippling sands to the _Mermaid's_ dinghy; and +presently they were aboard with the crew grunting over the oars to catch +the legendary breeze half a mile off shore. + +In the last act of _The Merchant of Venice_ Shakespeare has said all +that there is to say about moonlight and its effect upon young people, +and if Harry Vibart was less expressive than young Lorenzo, Jasmine +Grant was at least as susceptible as pretty Jessica. She had a moment's +sadness in the recollection of her father's death after such a night in +the Bay of Salerno; but it was no more than a transient gloom, like a +thin cloud that scarcely dims the face of the moon in its swift voyage +past. Indeed, the sorrowful memory actually added something to her joy +of the present; for fleeting though the emotion was, it endured long +enough to stir the depths of her heart and to make her more grateful to +her companion for the beauty of this night. + +The skipper of the _Mermaid_ had spoken the truth: the light breeze he +had promised did arrive, and presently the grunt of oars gave place to +the lisp and murmur of water and to airy melodies aloft. + +"Magnificent, eh what?" Vibart asked. + +"Glorious," Jasmine agreed. + +Pointing to a small craft half a mile away to starboard, he quoted two +lines of verse: + + _A silver sail on a silver sea_ + _Under a silver moon._ + +"That really exactly expresses it, don't you think?" + +"Perfectly," she agreed. + +"Funny that those lines should come so pat. I don't usually spout +poetry, you know. It really is awfully good, isn't it?-- + + _A_ sil_ver sail on a_ sil_ver sea_ + _Under a_ sil_ver moon!_" + +He marked the beat more emphatically at the second time of quoting. +"It's really awfully musical. You know, I admire a chap who can write +poetry like that. Some people rather despise poets, but if you come to +think what a lot of pleasure they give.... + + _A_ silver _sail on a_ silver _sea_ + _Under a silver_ moon!" + +"Who wrote it?" asked Jasmine idly. + +"Oh, great Scott, don't ask me. It's extraordinary enough that I should +remember the lines. I must have learnt them at my dame's school. Years +ago. Quite fifteen years ago. Terrific, isn't it? I'm twenty-four, you +know. That's the worst of being an heir. I wanted to go out and try my +hand at coffee in British East, but my old great-uncle kicked up a fuss. +He's a funny old boy. Likes to have me around, and then grumbles all the +time because I'm not doing anything. Says my conversation would cure a +defaulting solicitor of insomnia. I bucked him up rather, though, by +talking about Italy. Do you know, I think he'd rather like you. + + A _silver_ sail on a _silver_ sea + Under _a silver moon_. + +"Dash it, I can't get those lines out of my head. It's worse than a tune. +Yes, I think he'd rather like you, Miss Grant. Miss Grant! That sounds +absurd on a night like this. Now, I think Jasmine's a charming name. +Jasmine! It seems to fit in so well with ... _a silver sail_ ... look, +here, do you mind stopping me if I begin again? Jasmine! Would you jump +overboard if I called you Jasmine?" + +"I'd rather you called me Jasmine." + +"And of course you'll return the compliment? My name's Harry. It's a +perfectly normal name, so you needn't blush." + +Mr. Jonas Pretty interrupted any embarrassment with the news that the +whiting were biting. Presently the boat was in a confusion of fish. As +fast as they dropped the lines they had to tug them in again with half a +dozen iridescent victims squirming and leaping and flapping on the +hooks, and in half an hour the bottom of the boat was aglow with silver +fire. + +"Well, I think we've caught enough," said Harry Vibart. "And I mustn't +keep you out late, Jasmine. Better sail back now, Skipper." + +"Aye, aye, sir." + +Mr. Pretty shouted a number of unintelligible and raucous commands, and +the breeze immediately died away. + +"Lost that nice little wind we had," he grumbled. "That means a bit of a +pull back. You wouldn't like to stay out all night, sir, with the +whiting biting so lovely? There's a lot of gentlemen likes to do that +and come back with the sunrise." + +"No, no, this lady has to get home." + +Mr. Pretty shook his head reproachfully at such a lack of adventurous +spirit. + +"It'll be a long pull back, sir." + +Indeed the lights of Spaborough did look very far away. + +"Can't be helped. We must get back. How long will it take?" + +"About a couple of hours, sir." + +"What?" + +"We'd better steer for the harbour." + +Jasmine did not blame Harry--in the excitement of pulling up her line +she had fallen easily into calling him by his Christian name--for the +flight of the wind. + +"I say, it's awfully sporting of you to be so decent about it," he said, +turning her behaviour into an excuse to take her hand. + +"It's not your fault." + +During the long pull back to the harbour Harry Vibart quoted no more +poetry; indeed he hardly seemed to notice the moonlight, so deeply was +he engaged in telling Jasmine all about his early life and his present +life, and what he should do when he inherited his uncle's title and +estate. + +"Of course I shall have to get married." + +"Of course," she agreed. + +They looked at each other for a brief instant; but almost +simultaneously they looked away again and began to count the whiting. +Soon afterward they reached the harbour. + +The clocks of Spaborough were striking the apprehensive hour of one when +Jasmine and Harry Vibart, each carrying a large bunch of fish, +disembarked at the pier of the old harbour. + +"I'm afraid that they really will be very cross," said Jasmine. "But +never mind, I've had a glorious evening, and I've enjoyed myself, more +than I ever have since I left Sirene." + +"They might be cross if we hadn't got these whiting," Harry pointed out. +"But you can't go against evidence like this. I don't see a carriage +anywhere, do you?" + +"Perhaps it's too late." + +From the old fishing town to South Parade was at least an hour's walk +uphill all the way. The whiting began to weigh rather heavily. It was +obvious that Jasmine would not be able to carry her bunch, and Harry +relieved her of it. After climbing for about five minutes he began to +feel that the bunches were more than even he could manage, and pulling +off four fish as he would have pulled off four bananas, he offered them +to a policeman who was standing at the corner. + +"Just caught," he explained cheerfully. + +"Thank you, sir," said the constable. "I'll wrap them up and leave them +on this window-sill." + +"Don't lose them," said Vibart. "They're fresh." + +"That's all right, sir. I'll wrap them up in the evening paper. I'm not +off duty till six." + +"They'll still be quite fresh then," said Vibart encouragingly. + +He looked round to see if there was anybody else to whom he could make a +present of fresh fish; as there was nobody else in sight, he advised the +constable to have two more, and so make up the half-dozen. Another five +minutes of slow ascent passed, during which the whiting seemed to have +grown into cod. A wretched old woman asleep in an archway, her head +bowed in her lap, offered a good opportunity for charity, and Harry was +just going to lay a couple of whiting in her lap when Jasmine suggested +that if the old woman put her head down any lower she would touch them +with her face, which might startle her too much and spoil the pleasure +of the surprise. + +"Well, I'll lay them on the pavement beside her," said Harry. He also +put a couple on her other side, so that she would be sure to see them +and not miss her breakfast. + +"It's jolly to think how happy she'll be when she wakes up." + +"But if she hasn't got anywhere to sleep," Jasmine objected, "I don't +suppose she's got anywhere to cook whiting." + +"Oh yes," he assured her, "she'll get them cooked all right. Oh, rather! +She'll find some workmen who are mending the road." + +"But how will that help her to cook whiting?" + +"Oh, they always have a fire. I don't know why, but they always do. +Still not a carriage to be seen!" + +The clocks struck a quarter-past one. The whiting had grown from cod to +sharks. They toiled on without meeting a soul till the clocks struck the +half-hour, and the whiting from sharks were become whales. + +"It would be a pity to go back without these confounded fish," said +Vibart, "because it really was a remarkable catch. Besides, fresh +whiting's tremendously good for breakfast. It does seem a most +extraordinary thing that there's not a carriage anywhere. I think I'll +try another way of carrying them--one on each end of my stick, and then +I'll put my stick over my shoulder like a milkmaid." + +He was demonstrating how much easier it was to carry whiting in this +way, and saying what an extraordinary thing it was that he had not +thought of doing so before, when both bunches slipped forward, the front +one falling into the road and the second one only being prevented from +joining its companion by Vibart's shoulder. + +"That's a pity," he said. "But I don't think we ought to pick them up, +do you? They're rather dusty, and I really think we've got enough. There +must be at least sixty left. Only it seems rather wasteful to leave a +lot of whiting in a road." + +"Come along," Jasmine urged. "For goodness' sake let's leave them and +get back. Now, if you give me one end of the stick and take the other +yourself we can easily carry the rest between us." + +Just as the clock struck two they reached Strathspey House. It seemed as +dead in the moonlight as a spent firework; and Jasmine's heart sank. + +"It does look as if they were very angry indeed," she said. + +"They'll soon cheer up when they see the whiting," Vibart prophesied. +"I'll ring." + +He rang repeatedly, but there was no answer. + +"Perhaps I'd better knock." + +He knocked repeatedly; several windows in Balmoral were opened, and dim +heads stared down inquisitively; but Strathspey House remained mute. + +"Why doesn't that beastly dog bark?" complained Vibart. "It barks all +day long. Perhaps I'd better shout." + +"Oh no, don't shout." + +"Will you ring the bell while I knock again?" + +The orchestral effect achieved what the solo had failed to achieve. Sir +Hector put out his long neck and asked severely if that were his niece. + +"We got slightly becalmed, sir," said Vibart. "But we had a splendid +catch. You'll be delighted when you see all the whiting we've brought +back for you. Between sixty and seventy. They're so fresh that you'll be +able to have them for breakfast both to-morrow and the day after." + +But Sir Hector did not reply, and for nearly ten minutes Strathspey +House gave no further sign of recognition. Then the front door was +opened by Hargreaves, so completely dressed that it was hard to believe +that she had really been roused from bed by Sir Hector's method of +internal communication. + +From a landing above Lady Grant's voice was heard. "You'd better go up +to bed at once, Jasmine, and we will talk about your escapade in the +morning." + +"I'm afraid there's not much I can do," said Harry, somewhat abashed by +the discouraging reception. "But I'll get round as soon as I can in the +morning and explain that it was all my fault. You mustn't be angry with +Miss Grant, Lady Grant," he called up. "I'm the only person to blame. +Can you see our haul of whiting? You ought to have a look at them before +they're cooked." + +The slamming of a distant door was Lady Grant's reply to this. + +"Bit annoyed, I'm afraid," he said, shaking his head, and then, turning +to the parlourmaid, he asked her where she would like to put the fish. + +The question was answered by the fish, because the main string broke, +and they went slithering all over the hall. + +"I don't know, sir, I'm sure where they'd better be put," said +Hargreaves, looking rather frightened. + +"Can't you get a dish or something from the kitchen?" + +"No, sir, I'm afraid I can't. Cook always has her ladyship's orders to +take the key of the basement door up to bed with her, and she's rather +funny about being woke up." + +"But look here," Vibart protested, "we can't leave all these splendid +fish to get trodden on. They're whiting! You know, those fish they +usually serve like kittens running after their tails. They won't have +any tails left if they're going to be walked over by everybody." + +He looked round the hall, and his eye fell upon the card-tray. + +"Here's the very thing," he cried, and emptying the cards into the +umbrella stand, he began to heap as many whiting as he could on the +tray. "Well, that's saved enough for breakfast. We'll put the rest in a +corner. Lend me your apron." + +The prim Hargreaves was as much taken aback by this suggestion as her +colleague Hopkins had been taken aback by Jasmine's attempt to borrow a +chemise on the evening of her arrival. But mechanically she divested +herself, and the whiting were hung up in a bundle on the hat-rack. + +"I'll be round very early," Harry promised Jasmine. "Sorry I've let you +in for trouble. I enjoyed myself--well, tremendously." + +"So did I," she said. "Tremendously." + +Hargreaves without her apron seemed scarcely willing to open the door +for him; but she managed to do it somehow, and Jasmine went slowly +upstairs to the sound of bolts being driven home, of chains clanking, +and latches clicking. It was like being taken back to prison. + +Immediately after breakfast the next morning Lady Grant showed her sense +of the gravity of the occasion by postponing her household duties until +she had had what she called an explanation with her niece about her +behaviour last night. As soon as they were closeted in the drawing-room, +Jasmine, supposing that she really was anxious for an explanation, began +to give a perfectly straightforward account of the misadventure. Lady +Grant, however, cut her short before she had time even to explain the +accident by which she and Vibart were separated from the rest of the +party. + +"I am sorry, my dear Jasmine, to find that your only object is to make +excuses for your behaviour. There is nothing I dislike so much as +excuses." + +"But I haven't begun to excuse myself yet," Jasmine retorted. + +Her aunt smiled patiently. "Perhaps you will allow me to say without +interruptions what I was going to say. I am willing to make every +allowance for you, remembering that you have been brought up in a wild +island in the south of Italy, and remembering that your poor father had +odd notions about the education of young girls. But you are old enough +to realize that Spaborough is not Sirene, and that to come back at two +o'clock in the morning after spending the whole night sailing about with +a young man on the open sea is not a very kind way of showing your +affection for your relations, who have been only too anxious to do +everything on their side to help you. You cannot complain of the warmth +of your welcome in England, and you must admit that your Uncle Hector +and I showed ourselves ready to do all we could to rescue you from the +condition in which you found yourself after your father's death. I do +not wish to say too much about Mr. Vibart's conduct. I can only express +my surprise that Sir John Vibart's nephew should so absolutely deceive +us in this way. And I blame Cousin Edith greatly. Please do not think +that I have not already spoken to her very severely for the part she +played in what I can only call a vulgar intrigue. She should, of course, +have let me know at once that you and this young man had made each +other's acquaintance at a railway station. The idea of it! I should have +thought that your natural nice-minded feelings, if not your conscience, +would have told you that casual conversation with young men at railway +stations is not the way in which young girls in your position behave." + +"I don't see any difference between speaking to a young man at a railway +station and speaking to a young man at a golf club," Jasmine argued. + +"Please do not add to your faults by being rude," Lady Grant begged. +"Your rudeness only shows that you are, as I suspected, insensible to +kindness. I have had so much ingratitude in the course of my various +charities from all sorts and conditions of people whom I have tried to +help that I no longer expect gratitude. But if I do not expect gratitude +I certainly do not expect rudeness. I do not wish to recapitulate what +your uncle has done for you; but I hope that when you come to yourself +and think over what he has done for you you will realize how much there +has been. Who was it sent you your fare from Sirene to Spaborough? Your +uncle. Who was it, when you lost your season ticket before you had even +used it once, bought you another one? Your uncle. Who was it that was so +glad to give you an opportunity of learning the typewriter? Your uncle. +Who was it that did his utmost to get us the best view of the fireworks +yesterday evening? Your uncle. Finally, who was it, when the servants +had gone to bed and the house was locked up, rang the bell in +Hargreaves' room? Your uncle. I shall not go on, Jasmine, because I see +by your face that you are hardening your heart. Well, luckily you have +other uncles and aunts who have come forward to help you. I have just +telegraphed to your Aunt Cuckoo at Hampstead to find out if she will be +ready to receive you to-morrow. And although I think that you deserve +that she should be told of your behaviour here, I am not going to tell +her anything about it. I am not going to say a single word to prejudice +your Aunt Cuckoo against you. But I most earnestly beg you, my dear +Jasmine, to behave a little differently in Hampstead. Your Uncle Hector +and I, who have daughters of our own, will always understand girls +better than your Uncle Eneas or your Aunt Cuckoo can. Frankly, I do not +think you will enjoy yourself as much in Hampstead as you have enjoyed +yourself here, or as you might have enjoyed yourself here, if you had +not displayed such a wilful spirit. What puzzles me is your +unwillingness to make friends with Lettice and Pamela. It cannot be +_their_ fault, because they are friends with everybody. Even Mr. Vibart, +who must be almost without any decent feelings of any kind whatsoever, +liked Lettice and Pamela. Well, I am glad we have had this little +explanation. When next you come to stay with us--for although at present +your uncle is so much annoyed at being woken up last night that he has +said quite positively that he will never have you to stay with us again, +I am sure, knowing his goodness as I do, that he will ask you--when next +you come to stay with us, I say, perhaps in London, I hope you won't go +sailing about with young men half through the night. Of course you would +not be able to do any actual sailing in London, but I mean the +equivalent of sailing, like riding about on the outside of omnibuses at +all hours. I fear that in your present hardened mood nothing can touch +you, but I think that at least you might express your sorrow at making +poor Spot so ill." + +"Is Spot ill?" asked Jasmine. + +"He is not ill any longer," said her aunt. "But you know how careful I +am about his diet. Apparently he found one of those fish which you left +lying about in the hall and was sick seven times this morning." + +The explanation was over. The next morning Jasmine left Strathspey +House, and late that afternoon was met at King's Cross by her Aunt +Cuckoo. Cousin Edith shook her head a great deal at Jasmine's disgrace, +but she was so glad to see the last of her that she could not resist +waving her handkerchief to the departing car. As for Mr. Vibart, he +called five times during the day, and every time Hargreaves, thinking of +her apron, was glad to be authorized to inform him with cold politeness +that nobody was at home. + + + + +_Chapter Five_ + + +Jasmine's first experience of being succoured by rich relatives might +have discouraged her from expecting a happy result from the second. Yet, +although the Eneas Grants would be as much her patrons as the Hector +Grants, there was something in the sound of 'Aunt Cuckoo' that suggested +to her mind the anticipation of a positively more congenial atmosphere. +It showed considerable elasticity to feel even subconsciously cheerful +on this journey, with the weather south of York becoming overcast and a +hundred miles of London breaking into a drench of rain, which turned to +dripping fog on the outskirts of the city and made King's Cross an +inferno of sodden gloom. In the first confusion of alighting from the +train, Jasmine felt like a twig precipitated toward the drain of a +gutter. In this din, in this damp and dusky chill made more obscure by +fog and engine smoke and human breath, it hardly seemed worth while to +have an opinion of one's own upon destination. Swept along toward the +exits, Jasmine would soon have found herself astray in the +phantasmagoria of the great squalid streets outside had she not been +rescued by a porter whose kindly interest and paternal manner persuaded +her to consider with due attention the advantages and disadvantages of +the various routes from King's Cross to Hampstead. + +A complicated but economical itinerary had no sooner been settled than a +woman glided up to Jasmine with what in the press of the traffic seemed +an almost ghostly ease of movement and asked in an appropriately +toneless voice if she were her niece. + +Jasmine, without thinking that amid the incalculable permutations and +combinations of city life it was at least as probable that she was not +this woman's niece as that she was, replied without hesitation that she +was. + +"Then how do you do?" said Aunt Cuckoo, offering first her right hand, +then her left hand, and finally a cheek, the touch of which was like +menthol on Jasmine's warm lips. + +"I'm very well, thank you," she assured her aunt, transforming the +conventional greeting into an important question by the gravity with +which she answered it. + +"Yes, it's a pity you got a porter," Aunt Cuckoo continued. "A great +pity. Because I've got a porter as well. And it doesn't seem worth +while, does it, to have two porters?" Jasmine agreed helplessly. "Unless +your luggage is very heavy indeed," Aunt Cuckoo added, "and if it _is_ +very heavy indeed, we can't take it back with us in the brougham, and +then I don't know what to do. Yes, it's a pity really you got a porter +so quickly. Aunt May wrote us that you were rather impulsive." + +She sighed; the rival porters waiting for a decision sighed too. Finally +Jasmine took a shilling from her bag, presented it to her porter, and +said "Thank you very much." + +"Thank _you_ very much, miss," said the porter, respectfully touching +his cap and retiring from the contest. Aunt Cuckoo without commenting +upon Jasmine's action, asked wearily if her luggage was in the back or +the front of the train. By good luck Jasmine did know this, because Sir +Hector's last bellowed words at Spaborough had been: "Don't forget that +your luggage will be in the back part of the train! You are in a through +carriage!" + +By this time Jasmine's luggage had been reduced to one trunk. The crates +with her father's pictures had on her uncle's advice been left at +Strathspey House to be brought to London with the rest of the furniture +when the family moved. The carpet bag had been presented to Hopkins as a +parting gift, because Hopkins had once said how much it would appeal to +a little niece of hers in Battersea. The basket of prickly pears had +long ago been burnt, because Aunt May had supposed it capable of +introducing subtropical insects into Strathspey House. There was +therefore nothing left but her trunk, which Aunt Cuckoo decided was +neither too large nor too heavy for the brougham. In fact, as a piece of +luggage she made light of it altogether, and only gave her porter +twopence, at which he said: "I shan't argue about it, mum. It's not +worth arguing about." + +"Are you dissatisfied?" asked Aunt Cuckoo. + +The porter called upon Heaven with upturned eyes to witness his +treatment and invited Aunt Cuckoo to keep her twopence. + +"You want it more than I do, mum," he said. + +The drive from King's Cross to Hampstead took a long time. No doubt the +horse and the coachman were both tired, for Aunt Cuckoo explained that +she had been shopping in London all day and that really she ought to +have gone home much earlier. The small brougham looked like one of those +commercial broughams in which old-fashioned travellers drive round to +exhibit their wares to old-fashioned firms. Nor did the coachman look +like a proper coachman, because he had a moustache, which somehow made +the cockade in his hat look like a moustache too. When he stood up to +push the trunk into place, Jasmine noticed that he was wearing baggy +trousers under his coat, and for a moment she wondered if it could +possibly be Uncle Eneas himself who was driving them. Afterward she +discovered that he was really the gardener who consented to drive the +brougham occasionally, because the horse was useful to his horticulture. + +The climb up to the summit of the Heath seemed endless; Jasmine was glad +when they got on to level ground again and the cardboard boxes fell back +into place. Every time the rays of a passing lamp splashed the brougham +Jasmine felt that she ought to say something, but before she had time to +think of anything to say it was dark again; and the next splash of light +always came as a surprise, so that in the end she gave up trying to +think of anything to say and counted the lamp-posts instead. Driving in +a brougham with Aunt Cuckoo reminded her of playing hide-and-seek in a +wardrobe, when, although one was delighted to have found a good place in +which to hide, one hoped that the searchers would not be long in finding +it out. + +Half-way down the tree-shaded slope of North End Road on the far side of +the Heath the brougham turned aside down a short drive and pulled up +before an irregular and what appeared in the darkness a rather +attractive house. When the door was opened by a sallow butler, Jasmine +perceived that the reason for her aunt's prolonged silence during the +drive back was a large black respirator, of which she unmuzzled herself +before she asked the butler something in a language which Jasmine did +not understand, but which she afterwards found was Greek. Then, turning +to her niece, she divulged as if it was a family secret that Uncle Eneas +had gone to dine at his club that night. + +Jasmine was not sorry to be spared the anxiety of another introduction +so soon, and she eagerly accepted her aunt's proposal to dine earlier +than usual so that she could get a good night's rest after the tiring +journey. + +"I've ordered _pilau_ for you," Aunt Cuckoo announced. Jasmine wondered +what this was and hoped it would not be too rich a dish. The oriental +hangings in the dining-room portended an exotic type of food, and she +had been rather shaken by the train. + +"But it's just like our own _risotto_," she exclaimed when the heap of +well-greased rice sown with morsels of meat was put before her. + +"Very likely," said Aunt Cuckoo, and the tone in which she accepted +Jasmine's comparison was so remote and vague that if Jasmine had likened +the _pilau_ to anything in the scale of edibility between Chinese birds' +nests and ordinary bread and butter, she would probably have assented +with the same toneless equanimity. + +Jasmine liked her bedroom at The Cedars much better than her bedroom at +Strathspey House. Uncle Eneas' consular career had naturally set its +mark on his possessions. Strathspey House had been furnished first with +all the things that were not wanted in Harley Street and then with the +new and inexpensive suites that were considered appropriate to a holiday +house. Moreover, Strathspey House itself was a creation not much older +than Sir Hector's baronetcy. The Cedars was a century and a half years +old, a rambling irregular countrified house with a large garden leading +directly to the Heath; it possessed externally a colour and character of +its own which in combination with the oriental taste of Eneas Grant +produced an effect that Jasmine much esteemed after the newness of +Strathspey House. In this bedroom there were Turkish and Persian rugs, +thread-bare, but rich in hues; photographs with cypresses and minarets +along the sky-line; paintings on rice-paper of bashi-bazouks and many +other elaborate old Eastern costumes; and hanging by the fireplace a +horse's tail set in an ivory handle to whisk away the flies. The Cedars +was not Italy, but at least it seemed to recognize that somewhere there +was sunlight. Jasmine fell asleep almost happily, and coming down to +breakfast next morning after a struggle with punctuality she found to +her relief that breakfast at The Cedars consisted of the civilized +coffee taken in bed and that she alone was expected to devour eggs and +bacon at the unnatural hour of nine a.m. After this first breakfast she, +like her uncle and aunt, kept to her room. + +Eneas Grant was obviously the brother of Sir Hector; and when Jasmine +found that there was a tendency among her relatives to insist upon the +importance and value of this family likeness, so much so indeed that it +was crystallized into a phrase: 'A Grant! Oh yes, he's obviously a +Grant,' she realized that her father had probably alienated himself from +the esteem of his family as much by his outward dissimilarity as by the +divergence of his tastes. Eneas was tall and thin; but neither his +tallness nor his thinness ever reached the impressive ungainliness of +angularity that was Sir Hector's outstanding characteristic. Eneas, like +his brother, was intensely proud of his good health, and in the +contemptuous way he alluded to anybody who lacked good-health he +suggested that the ill-health was due to a moral lapse. He was a +non-smoker and a teetotaller, and to both abstentions he attributed the +moral value that so many ascetics attribute to any abstention from +life's minor comforts. He was good enough, however, to allow as much to +human weakness as not to condemn any man for moderate indulgence in +either nicotine or alcohol, although to any man who fell a prey to the +major human failings, like women or cards, he was merciless. + +"I see no reason why a man should run after women," Uncle Eneas used to +declare; and there hung about Mrs. Grant after twenty years of married +life such an aura of antique virginity that one felt quite sure he was +speaking the truth. Like many men who boast of their immunity from all +the fleshly attacks of the tempter, Eneas Grant was greedy; indeed he +was more than greedy, he was a glutton. A dish of curried prawns roused +the glow of concupiscence in his milky blue eyes. Jasmine found it +embarrassing at first to watch her uncle's tongue rubescent with all +that vaunted good-health titillate itself in anticipation along the +sparse hairs of his grey moustache, just as Spot titillated his back +upon the leaves of shrubberies. Uncle Hector had been greedy with the +frank greed of a man who at the beginning of a meal sharpens his knife +upon the steel with a preliminary bravura and gusto. This greed of Uncle +Eneas was colubrine. It really did seem as if he actually were +fascinating the new dish; as if the curried prawns would presently rise +of their own accord and abjectly, one after another, jump into his +mouth. Jasmine would look up apprehensively to see if Niko the butler +were not observing contemptuously this display of greed. But Niko seemed +to encourage his master; one felt that, if the curried prawns should +presume to show the slightest hesitation at coming forward to be +devoured, Niko would complete with his fingers what his master's snakish +eyes had failed to effect. + +Like most teetotallers and non-smokers Eneas was a ruthless talker. He +had innumerable stories of his career which, to do him justice, were at +a first hearing entertaining enough; but after one had wandered with him +on his famous expedition to negotiate with the Mirdite clan in Albania, +had watched the eagles soaring above the gorges of the Black Drin or the +passes of the Brseshda, had noticed curiously the mediæval costumes of +the inhabitants, had been regaled with gigantic feasts by hospitable +chieftains, and had heard mass said by moustachioed priests whose rifles +were leaning against the altar, one tired of Albania; at the third time +of hearing one became as it were mentally saddle-sore and yearned to be +back home. It was entertaining, for the first time, to hear him tell how +once, in the old days, while walking like God in his garden at Salonika, +inhaling the perfumed breeze of the Balkan dusk, there had suddenly +fallen at his feet, flung over the garden wall, a matchbox which when +opened was discovered to contain a human ear. That story, heard for the +first time, provided a genuine shudder. But when one had heard it six or +seven or eight or nine times one was stifled by the preliminary +perfumes, dazzled by the preliminary sunset, and prayed for some change +in the weather and some new bit of anatomy in the matchbox, a human eye +or a human finger--anything rather than a human ear. + +"A perfectly ordinary matchbox," Mr. Grant used to say. "I just stooped +down to open it and found inside a human ear. You of course see the +point of that?" + +The first time Jasmine had not seen the point, and had been interested +to be told that the ear belonged to some British subject under the +protection of her uncle who had refused to pay his ransom to the +brigands that held him captive on Mount Olympus. But once the point had +been seized, and repetition gave the poor gentleman as many ears as the +breasts of the Ephesian Diana, the story became grindingly, +exasperatingly tiresome. + +Even more tiresome were those stories that turned upon the listener's +acquaintance with official etiquette. Uncle Eneas cherished the +memories of former grandeur, and he was never tired of counting over for +Jasmine the number of guns to which a consul was entitled when he paid a +visit of ceremony to any warship that visited the port to which he was +accredited. The echoes of their booming still rumbled among the files +and dockets of his brain. He had preserved even more vividly the memory +of one or two occasions on which these grandeurs had been denied him by +mistake, for like most consuls of the Levant service, whether they be or +be not teetotallers and non-smokers, Eneas Grant was an aggrieved and +disappointed man who had retired with that disease of the mental outlook +which is known as consulitis. Yet Eneas Grant had less to complain of +than most of his colleagues. The bitterness of finding himself in a post +where he must come into direct competition with embassies or legations +had not often fallen to his lot. He had indeed spent two galling years +as Chief Dragoman at Constantinople, where he was responsible for all +the practical work of the Embassy and considered that he was treated +with less respect than an honorary attaché. But he had had Salonika; he +had taken an important part in the Aden demarkation; he had reported a +massacre of Christians in Southern Asia Minor and had been commended by +the Foreign Office for his diligence; his name had been blessed by the +fig merchants of Smyrna. He had eaten rich food in quantity for a number +of years, and he possessed a rich wife, who had never given him a moment +of uneasiness, neither when the bulbuls were singing to the roses of +Constantinople nor amid the murmurous gardens of Damascus. + +Aunt Cuckoo was a daughter of the wealthy old Levantine family of +Hewitson, who brought her husband such a handsome dowry that he was able +ever afterward to claim by some obscure process of logic that he had +really served his country for nothing. + +"The point is," he used to argue, "the point is that I can give up my +consular career when I choose." And the student-interpreters, +vice-consuls, and consuls of the Levant service, some of whom had rashly +married lovely but penniless Greeks, wondered why the deuce he didn't +hurry up and do so and thus give them a lift all round. + +Aunt Cuckoo, being without children, had devoted herself to cats--Angora +cats, a breed to which she became attached during the time that her +husband was consul in that city. Angora cats lack even as much humanity +as Persian cats; compared with Siamese or Javanese cats they are not +human at all. Indeed, as a substitute for the emotions and cravings of +womanhood they are not much more effective than bundles of cotton-wool +would be. In the eyes of the world Aunt Cuckoo's childlessness was +atoned for by the purity and perfection of her Angora breed; but she +herself had to satisfy her own maternal instincts more profoundly by +coddling, almost by cuddling for twenty years a bad arm. And really what +better substitute for a baby could a childless woman find than a bad +arm? Sometimes, of course, it really does hurt; but then sometimes a +baby cuts its teeth, has convulsions or croup, is prone to flatulence +and breaks out into spots. An arm exhibits the phenomena of growth and +decay, and if a baby becomes an inky little boy, and an inky little boy +becomes an exigent young man, an arm gets older and becomes as exigent +as its owner will allow it to be. A bad arm can be shown to people even +by an elderly lady without blushing, whereas children after a certain +age cannot be exhibited in their nudity. Aunt Cuckoo's bad arm was the +chief consolation of her loneliness, and it was only natural that the +morning after Jasmine's arrival she should take her niece aside and +enquire in a whisper if she should like to see her bad arm. Jasmine +welcomed the introduction with an unspoken hope that there was nothing +nasty to see. Nor was there. It was apparently the perfectly normal arm +that any woman over fifty might possess. Age had blunted the contours; +twenty years of testing the efficiency of various lotions and liniments +had gradually stained its pristine alabaster; but there was nothing +whatever to see, no tumour malignant or benign, no ulcer indolent or +irritable. + +"I am going to try a new system of massage," Aunt Cuckoo confided. "And +I can't help thinking how nice it would be if you could have a few +lessons." + +And as Uncle Eneas for his part was convinced that a more valuable +lesson would be the art of jiu-jitsu, in whatever direction she looked +Jasmine could see nothing before her but muscular development. + +"The point about jiu-jitsu," Uncle Eneas explained, "is the independence +it gives you. My own feeling is that women should be as far as possible +independent." + +Aunt Cuckoo looked up at this. It had never struck her before that such +was her husband's opinion. + +"Now don't _you_ suggest learning jiu-jitsu," he said quickly. + +"I don't think my arm would let me," his wife replied. + +"And you ought to get plenty of walking," Uncle Eneas added, turning to +Jasmine. "At your age I always walked for an hour and a half before +breakfast. I remember once at Broussa...." and he was off on one of his +entirely topographical stories, dragging his listeners through +landscapes that for them were as shifting, as uncertain, as nebulous and +confused as the landscapes of other people's dreams. + +Perhaps Aunt Cuckoo yielded less to her husband than superficially she +appeared. Certainly nothing more was said about jiu-jitsu, whereas the +massage scheme made considerable progress. Two days later a gaunt +blonde, with that look professional nurses sometimes have of being nuns +who have succumbed to the temptations of the flesh, invested The Cedars. +She advanced upon poor Aunt Cuckoo with such a grim air that Jasmine +began to think that it was rather a pity that she had not learnt +jiu-jitsu in order to defend herself against this barbarian. + +"This is Miss Hellner," said Aunt Cuckoo, timorously offering the +introduction in the manner of a propitiatory sacrifice. "Miss Hellner," +she went on imploringly, "who has made such a wonderful improvement in +my bad arm. I want my niece to get a few hints from you, Miss Hellner. +She is anxious to take up massage professionally." + +Miss Hellner's cold blue eye, as cold and blue as one of her +Scandinavian fjords, was fixed upon the victim; no amount of talk about +Jasmine's future was going to deter her from her duty. + +"Will you please unbutton the sleeve?" she requested in a guttural +voice, which Aunt Cuckoo prepared to obey. + +"The arm has been rather better the last few days," the patient +suggested. "So perhaps it won't be necessary to repeat last week's +treatment." + +"Three times that treatment is repeated," said Miss Hellner inexorably. +"That is the rule." + +"Oh dear," Aunt Cuckoo murmured with a dolorous little giggle. "I'm +afraid I'm going to have rather a painful time. But don't go away, +Jasmine. It's going to hurt me very much, but it will be very +interesting for you to watch. Miss Hellner is so expert." + +But flattery was impotent against Miss Hellner, who by now had seized +the arm and was kneading it, pinching it, digging her knuckles into +it--and bony knuckles they were too--trying to tear it in half +apparently with her thumbs, burrowing and boring, while all the time +Aunt Cuckoo ejaculated "Ouch!" or "Ah!" and to one viciously penetrating +use of the forefinger as a gimlet "Yi! Yi!" + +At last Miss Hellner stopped, and Aunt Cuckoo lay back on the sofa with +a sigh, occasionally giving a glance of ineffable tenderness to where +her bad arm, as red as a new-born baby, lay upon her breast. + +"If your arm is not well after one more treatment...." + +"One more treatment," echoed Aunt Cuckoo dutifully, "Yes?" + +"You will have to take the oil cure." + +"The oil cure?" asked the patient, pleasantly excited at the prospect of +a new treatment. "What does that consist of?" + +"First you take an ice bath." + +"Yes," said Aunt Cuckoo, "our bathroom is _very_ nice." + +"Ice bath," repeated the nurse severely. + +"Oh, I see," said Aunt Cuckoo with less enthusiasm. "You mean a cold +bath." + +"Ice bath," Miss Hellner almost shouted. "With lumps of ice to float. +Then I rub you with oil of olives." + +Aunt Cuckoo nodded gratefully; after the ice such a proceeding sounded +luxurious. + +"Then with nothing on you will do the gymnastic. Up and down the room. +Backwards and forwards. So." + +"Dear me, with nothing on? Absolutely nothing? Couldn't I keep a small +towel?" + +"Nothing on," repeated the masseuse obstinately. "Then you sit for ten +minutes in the window with the fan." + +"But surely not with nothing on except a fan?" + +"With nothing on," the masseuse insisted. "Then----" She paused +impressively, while Aunt Cuckoo looked excessively agitated, and Jasmine +wondered what ultimate ordeal she was going to prescribe. Surely she +could not intend to make the patient sit in the garden or drive in the +brougham with nothing on? + +"Then you will drink a large glass of lemonade and absorb the oil," Miss +Hellner announced. + +"Good gracious! Not a very large glass of oil?" + +"It is the lemons who drink the oil. It was not you yourself," Miss +Hellner explained scornfully. + +"Jasmine," said Aunt Cuckoo with one finger lifted in solemn admonition, +"don't let me forget to order the lemons in good time." + +The lemonade was such a simple and peaceable climax that Aunt Cuckoo was +evidently anxious to try it; she did not ask her niece to remind her +about the ice, and in order to prevent Miss Hellner's reminding her she +suggested that Jasmine should have a short lesson in the art of massage. + +"Oh, but I think watching you has been enough lesson for to-day" +objected Jasmine, who feared the example that is better than the +precept. "I don't think I could take in any more at first." + +"She must come to the school of Swedish culture," Miss Hellner decided. + +Thus it was that Jasmine found herself engaged on Mondays, Wednesdays, +and Fridays to travel from Hampstead to Baker Street, with every +prospect, unless fate should intervene to save her, of becoming by +profession a masseuse, the last profession she would ever have chosen +for herself. + +On the days when she did not go to Baker Street she had to comb the +cats. To comb seven Angora cats was almost as tiring as massage. + +"I suppose this is the way your arm got bad?" she once suggested to her +aunt. + +"Oh, no, dear," said Aunt Cuckoo. "When I was young I used to write a +great deal. I wrote six novels about life in the Levant, and then I had +writer's cramp." + +That evening when she went up to her bedroom Jasmine found her aunt's +novels waiting to be read--eighteen volumes published in the style of +the early 'nineties and the late 'eighties, with titles like _The +Sultan's Shadow_ and _The Rose of Sharon_. She read bits of each one in +turn, and then abruptly felt that she had had enough, just as one feels +that one has had enough Turkish-delight. Unfortunately Aunt Cuckoo said +there was nothing she liked better than really intelligent criticism. So +between reading the novels, learning massage, and combing the cats there +was not much leisure for Jasmine, and what leisure she had was more than +filled by rapid walks with Uncle Eneas over the Heath. Sirene is not a +place that predisposes people to walk fast, and Uncle Eneas was +continually being amazed that a niece thirty-five years younger than +himself should be unable to quicken her pace to suit his own. Sometimes +he said this in such a severe tone that Jasmine was half afraid that he +would buy a lead and compel her to keep up with him. Luckily she was not +expected to talk, and she soon discovered that she was only expected to +say once in every ten minutes 'What an extraordinary life you have had, +Uncle Eneas,' to maintain him in a perfectly good temper. + +Aunt May had written Jasmine a long letter from Spaborough expressing +her delight at the news that she was treating Uncle Eneas and Aunt +Cuckoo with more consideration than she had shown towards Uncle Hector +and herself, announcing the imminent return of the family to Harley +Street and magnanimously offering to give Jasmine lunch on her 'massage +days,' inasmuch as Harley Street was, as no doubt she knew, quite close +to Baker Street. Cousin Edith also wrote warmly and effusively; but the +paleness of the ink, the thinness of the pen, and the flimsiness of the +paper made the letter seem like an old letter found in a secret drawer +and addressed to somebody who had been dead a century. She did not hear +from Harry Vibart, and she wondered if he had written to her at +Strathspey House and if her relatives there had kept back the letter. +She supposed that she should never see him again, and she began to fear +that she, like so many other girls, should drift into a profession to +which she was not particularly attracted, or into a marriage for which +she was not particularly anxious, or perhaps, worst of all, that she +should merely shrink and shrink and shrink into a desiccated old maid +like Cousin Edith. It was not an exhilarating prospect; Mustapha, the +patriarch of the Angora cats, had his fur combed out less gently than +usual that morning. + +Life was seeming unutterably dreary when Aunt Cuckoo came into the room, +her eyes flashing with anticipation, her being rejuvenated by +excitement, to say that one of the maids had a stiff neck, and to ask if +Jasmine would immediately go to her room and operate on it. + +Jasmine followed her aunt upstairs, and expressed her sense of life's +disillusionment by the vigour with which she manipulated, man-handled +indeed, the neck and shoulders of the young woman, who after numerous +vain protests burst into hysterical tears and gave a month's notice. + +"Funny, isn't it," said Aunt Cuckoo when they left the room, "what +little gratitude you find among the lower classes nowadays?" + +"I think I did rather hurt her," said Jasmine, who was by now feeling +rather penitent. + +"_I_ think you did it very well," said Aunt Cuckoo, "and _I_ am very +pleased with you. And of course her shoulders are so much harder than my +poor arm." + +Aunt Cuckoo, for all her folly, had for Jasmine a certain pathos, and +during the late autumn and winter while she stayed at The Cedars she to +some extent grew accustomed to the atmosphere of cold storage which +prevailed there; she began to contemplate the slow freezing of herself +during the years to come into an Aunt Cuckoo; she preferred the notion +of a frozen self, which after all would always be liable to melt, to the +notion of a withered self like Cousin Edith's, which would indubitably +never bourgeon again. She did sometimes lunch with the Hector Grants at +Harley Street, and she found them more insufferable every time she went +there. Aunt Cuckoo could not help feeling gratified by this, because for +many years now she had been jealous of Lady Grant. + +"Of course I should not like to appear as if I was criticizing her," she +would say to Jasmine. "But I understand what you mean about Lettice and +Pamela, and I can't help feeling that they have been spoilt. It's the +same with cats," she murmured, in a vague effort to elucidate the moral +atmosphere. + +When Aunt Cuckoo talked like this, Jasmine began to wonder if she could +confide in her about Harry Vibart; but when she had to frame the words, +her account of the affair began to seem so pretentious and exaggerated +that she could not bring herself to the point, would blush in +embarrassment, and hide her confusion by an energetic combing of +Mustapha. + +In the middle of the winter Aunt Cuckoo began to throw out hints of what +Jasmine might expect from herself and Uncle Eneas in the future. She +never went so far as a definite statement that they intended to make her +their heiress; the prospect of future wealth was merely hinted at like +the landscape under a false dawn. Yet even this glimmer over something +beyond was enough to alarm Jasmine with the idea that her uncle and aunt +would suppose that she was aiming at an inheritance. She tried by +diligent combing of cats, by concentration upon the massage of Aunt +Cuckoo's arm, and by the rapidity of her walking pace, to show that she +appreciated what was being done for her in the present; but the moment +Aunt Cuckoo began to talk of the future she was discouragingly rude. +Nevertheless these hints, notwithstanding Jasmine's reception of them, +would probably have taken a more definite shape if on the anniversary of +the conversion of Saint Paul Aunt Cuckoo had not taken shelter from a +sudden storm of rain in a small Catholic mission church at Golders +Green. Here she felt vague aspirations at the sight of half a dozen poor +people praying in the rich twilight of imitation glass windows; but she +was more particularly and more deeply impressed by the behaviour of a +woman in rusty mourning in bringing a pallid little boy to the feet of a +saintly image that was attracting Aunt Cuckoo's attention and +everybody's attention by lifting his habit and pointing to a sore on his +leg. After praying to an accompaniment of maternal prods the child was +bidden to deposit at the base of the image a bandage of lint, after +which he stuck six candles on the pricket, lighted them, and followed +his mother out of the church with many a backward glance to observe the +effect of his illumination. Aunt Cuckoo was puzzled by all this, and +overtaking the woman in the porch asked what it meant. She was told that +the saint's name was Roch and that he had miraculously cured her little +boy of an ulcerous leg. Aunt Cuckoo's arm immediately began to pain her +acutely. On feeling this pain she went back into the church and prayed +shyly, for she was not a Catholic and she had only heard the saint's +name for the first time. The pain vanished as abruptly as it came, and +Aunt Cuckoo, thrilled by the miracle, hurried home to tell Jasmine all +about it. As soon as her mind had turned its attention to miracles Aunt +Cuckoo began to fancy that she was being specially favoured by Heavenly +manifestations. + +"Of course one has said 'How miraculous!' before," she assured her +niece. "But one employs terms so loosely. I learned that when I used to +write." Aunt Cuckoo's voice, from many years of tonelessness, was, now +that she was able to feel a genuine excitement, full of astonishing +little squeaks and tremolos which had she been a clock would have led +the listener to oil the works at once. "And the healing of my bad arm +wasn't the only miracle," she hurried on. "Oh no, dear. I assure you it +stopped raining the moment I came out of church, and you know how +difficult it is to find a taxi when one requires one. Well, would you +believe it, lo and behold, one pulled up just outside the church, and +the moment I was inside it started to pour again. I'm so glad that +you're a Catholic, dear. There, you see I'm already learning not to say +Roman Catholic...." + +It was at this point that Jasmine became discouraging. Her religion had +always been such a matter-of-fact business in Sirene and the existence +of Protestants so natural in a world divided into rich touring English +folk and poor dear predatory Italians that her aunt's intentions shocked +her. + +"You're not thinking of becoming a Christian--I mean a Catholic," she +gasped. + +"Who knows?" said Aunt Cuckoo in the vague and awful tones of a Sibyl. +"And I should have thought, Jasmine, that you would have been the first +to rejoice." + +Jasmine felt that her aunt was presenting her out of a profusion of +miracles with one all for herself; but realizing what everybody would +say she was so ungracious that Aunt Cuckoo went and offered it to the +parish priest instead. + +Father Maloney was at first inclined to resent Aunt Cuckoo's suggestion +that St. Roch should have healed a Protestant; but when her ardour and +humility had been sufficiently tried, he agreed to receive her into the +Church, and though he did not encourage her to believe in any more +miracles, he was privately inclined to hold the pious opinion that a +well-to-do convert's arrival in the unfinished condition of the new +sacristy was as nearly miraculous as anything in his career. + +A month later, notwithstanding Uncle Eneas' severe indictment of the +crimes of the papacy, Aunt Cuckoo became a Catholic. Miss Hellner was +dismissed; Jasmine was bidden to consider massage an invention of the +devil; the Angora cats were sold; Aunt Cuckoo was confirmed. Her husband +who in the course of their married life had successfully cured her of +singing after dinner, of writing novels, of spiritualism, of Christian +science, of a dread of premature burial, of a belief in the immortality +conferred by sour milk, and of eating nuts the last thing at night and +the first thing in the morning, was defeated by this craze; her ability +to resist her husband's disapproval convinced Aunt Cuckoo more firmly +than ever that she was the recipient of a special dose of grace. Yet +although Catholicism supplied most of Aunt Cuckoo's emotional needs, it +could not entirely stifle her unsatisfied maternal instinct, so that +sometimes, when St. Roch was busy with other patients, she looked back +regretfully to the days when her arm really hurt, and her faith was +exposed to the insinuations of the Evil One. She turned her attention to +juvenile saints and became much wrapped up in St. Aloysius Gonzaga until +she found that he objected to his mother's seeing him undress when he +was eight years old and that he had fainted because a footman saw him +with one sock off at the age of four. St. Aloysius evidently did not +require her maternal love, and she lavished it on St. Stanislas Kostka +instead; but even with him she felt awkward, until at last St. Teresa, +most practical of women, came to her rescue in the middle of the Sursum +Corda. Three months after her conversion Aunt Cuckoo arrived home from +mass on Lady Day with an expression in her pale blue eyes that would +have required the cobalt of Fra Angelico to represent. + +"Eneas," she announced, "I have decided to adopt a baby." + +To the consular mind of Mr. Grant such a procedure evoked endless +complications in the future. His mind leaped forward twenty years to the +time when this baby would require a passport, and he wondered if there +were a special form for adopted babies. He seemed to fancy vaguely that +there was, and he asked what the nationality of the baby would be. + +"A Catholic baby," Aunt Cuckoo proclaimed. + +Her husband explained to her that she must not confuse religion with +nationality, and then suddenly with a grimace of real ferocity he said: + +"I hope you don't intend to adopt an Irish baby?" + +"A Catholic baby," Aunt Cuckoo repeated obstinately. + +"This kipper is rather strong," said Eneas. + +But it was not strong enough to divert Aunt Cuckoo from her own trail. + +"I spoke to Father Maloney about it this morning after mass," she +persisted. + +"Damn Father Maloney!" said Eneas. + +Jasmine was wondering to herself what part she would be called upon to +play with regard to the baby. But whatever she had to do would be less +tiring than combing Angora cats or trying to keep up with Uncle Eneas on +the slopes of Hampstead Heath. Uncle Eneas protested all day for a week +against the baby; Aunt Cuckoo appealed to St. Teresa, secured her +support by a novena, and defeated him once more. Father Maloney +discovered a Catholic bank-clerk, the victim of chronic alcoholism, who +with the help of a tuberculous wife had brought into the world twelve +children, the youngest of which, now ten months old, he secured for Aunt +Cuckoo. At the formal conveyance of the baby Uncle Eneas asked whether +it were a boy or a girl, and when Aunt Cuckoo replied that she did not +know, he, apostrophizing heaven, wondered if ever since the world began +a vaguer woman had walked the earth. + +"It's a boy," said Father Maloney soothingly. + +"What's his name?" asked Aunt Cuckoo. + +"Michael Francis Joseph Mary Aloysius," said Father Maloney. + +"Good God!" exclaimed Uncle Eneas. + +"We'll call him Frank," Aunt Cuckoo decided, and her husband was almost +appeased. He had not realized that anything so ordinary could be +extracted from that highly coloured mosaic of names. + +At first Aunt Cuckoo was glad of Jasmine's help, and of the advice of +the very latest product in professional nurses. But when she found that +the nurse had theories in the bringing up of babies that by no means +accorded with her own sentimental views, and that Jasmine was inclined +to support the nurse, she began to be a little resentful of her niece. + +"You don't understand, my dear," she said. "You see you aren't a +mother." + +"Well, but nor are you," Jasmine pointed out. This retort so much +annoyed Aunt Cuckoo that she began to hint, much more obviously than she +had hinted at future prosperity, at the inconvenience of Jasmine's +presence in The Cedars. + +Possibly Aunt Cuckoo's desire to be relieved of any responsibility for +her niece's future might not have matured so rapidly had not Uncle Eneas +been converted if not to the baby's religion at any rate of its company +by the obvious pleasure his entrance into the room caused the creature. +No man is secure against flattery; the cult of the dog as a domestic +animal proves that. No doubt if on its adopted father's entrance into a +room the baby had shrieked, turned black in the face or vomited, he +would have been tempted to take refuge in the society of his niece from +such implied contempt. But the baby always demonstrated rapture at the +approach of Uncle Eneas. Its toes curled over sensuously; its fingers +clutched at strings of celestial music; it dribbled and made that odd +noise which is called crowing. It said La-la-la-la-la very rapidly and +tried to leap in the air. Probably it was fascinated by a prominent and +brilliantly coloured red wen on Uncle Eneas' cheek, because if ever he +bent over to pay his respects the baby would always make distinct +efforts to grasp this wen with one hand, while with the other it would +try to grasp his tie-pin, a moderately large single ruby not unlike the +wen. Luckily for itself the baby could not express what exactly kindled +its young enthusiasm, and Uncle Eneas naturally began to believe that +the infant was exceptionally intelligent. His wife encouraged this +opinion; all the servants encouraged this opinion; even the professional +nurse encouraged this opinion. It was obvious that the baby would be +henceforth ineradicable. Moreover by acquiring a baby already ten months +old, what Uncle Eneas called the early stewed raspberry stage of +babyhood had been passed elsewhere, and the exciting first attempts at +conversation and locomotion were already in sight. As yet neither Uncle +Eneas nor Aunt Cuckoo had gone beyond hints about the problem of +Jasmine's future, but she began to feel sensitive about staying longer +at The Cedars and to ask herself what she was going to do presently. At +this point the baby, with what had it not been a baby might have been +called cynical coquetry, roused the demons of jealousy by suddenly +making shameless advances to Jasmine. Nothing would please the infant +now but that Jasmine should play with it continually: Uncle Eneas and +Aunt Cuckoo were greeted with yells of disapproval. With Spring rapidly +coming to the prime it was felt that such an unnatural preference +indicated the need for a change of air. Jasmine sensed an exchange of +diplomatic notes among her relatives. She shrank within herself at the +thought that none too much willingness was anywhere being displayed to +receive her. + +"I thought it would be rather nice for you to go down to Curtain Wells +and stay with your Uncle Alexander for a while in this beautiful spring +weather," said Aunt Cuckoo. "But it appears that the only spare room is +in the hands of the decorators." + +And on another day she said: "I am rather surprised that your Aunt May +doesn't invite you to stay with her in Harley Street for the season. +They have become so ultra-fashionable nowadays that one might have +supposed that they would have invited you to Harley Street to share in +the general atmosphere of gaiety. I do hope that dear little Frank is +not going to grow up quite so self-absorbed as Lettice and Pamela." + +"If you want me to go away," said Jasmine desperately, "why don't you +say so? I never wanted to come to England. I'll go back to Sirene with +what massage I know and earn my living there." + +"But who has given you the least idea that you are unwelcome?" said Aunt +Cuckoo. "It was of you I was thinking. I am afraid that dear baby's +arrival has made us less able to amuse you than we were. And I don't +like to suggest that you should take entire charge of him." + +At this moment Uncle Eneas came blustering into the room. + +"I've had a letter from Uncle Matthew," he proclaimed. "He's got an idea +into his head that he wants to go down to the seaside. Some fool of a +doctor's been stuffing him up with that notion. He says he thinks we +ought to go to the seaside, and says it would be a good idea to share +expenses, we paying two-thirds and he paying one-third. The mean old +screw! How like him that is! And if we take baby he'll only want to pay +a quarter." + +"Oh, but I think Uncle Matthew would be too frightening for dear baby," +said Aunt Cuckoo. "Why shouldn't Jasmine go and stay with him?" she +suggested. + +"That wouldn't suit his plan," said Uncle Eneas. "If Jasmine went he +would have to pay for her as well as for himself." + +"But don't you think that if Jasmine went to stay with him at Muswell +Hill, she would do as well as a change of air?" + +"By Jove, that's quite a notion," said Uncle Eneas, looking at his niece +as people look at the sky to see if it is going to rain. Jasmine was +trying to remember what she knew about Uncle Matthew. He existed in her +mind as an incredibly old gentleman of boundless wealth who years ago +had bought a picture of her father. + +"I think you would like Uncle Matthew so much," Aunt Cuckoo was saying +persuasively. "Of course he's very old and he's a little eccentric. I +think old people often are eccentric, don't you? But he's very well off, +and it really does seem a wonderful solution of the difficulty." + +"You mean the difficulty of having me on your hands?" Jasmine bluntly +demanded. + +"Please don't say that," Aunt Cuckoo begged. "Surely you heard what your +uncle said? Our difficulty is that we don't want to disturb Uncle +Matthew with precious Baboose. I don't think he would quite understand +how the little pet came to us." + +So long as she was to be tossed about like a ball, Jasmine thought she +might just as well be tossed into an old gentleman's lap as anywhere +else, and soon after this, gathering from a fragment she overheard of a +low colloquy between her uncle and aunt that her introduction to Uncle +Matthew would intensely annoy the Hector Grants, she made up her mind +not to oppose, but even to press forward the proposed visit. + +"Where is Muswell Hill?" she asked. + +"Oh, it's on a hill," said Aunt Cuckoo vaguely. "I don't know what bus +you take. It's a large house, and as he has only one servant everything +gets a little dusty. Whenever I go there I always take a duster with +me, because Uncle Matthew so appreciates a little attention. At least +I'm sure he does really appreciate it, though of course he's reached +that age when people don't seem to appreciate anything. What do you +think, dear?" she turned to ask her husband. "We might invite him to +dinner." + +It was extraordinary how much the baby's arrival had strengthened Aunt +Cuckoo's position in the household. In the old days she would never have +dreamed of asking anyone to dinner; but her vicarious maternity gave her +as much importance as if she had really borne a child at the age of +fifty-two. Eneas had correspondingly shrunk with regard to his wife, +though with everybody else he was as pompous as ever. + +"Now I'm going to give you a few hints," said Aunt Cuckoo to Jasmine. +"Dear old Uncle Matthew is very fond of pictures." + +"Yes, I remember he bought one of father's years and years ago." + +"Oh, hush, hush!" Aunt Cuckoo breathed. "He's not at all fond of buying +anything now. You must _give_ him one of your father's pictures. In +fact, if I might suggest it, you had better give him all that you have +left. We shall send the brougham over to fetch him, and I don't see any +reason why you should not drive back with him to Muswell Hill after +dinner. We could put the pictures on the luggage rack, and your trunk +could be sent over by Carter Paterson the next day. You could put what +you wanted for the night in quite a small bag, which I will lend you." + +Religion was making Aunt Cuckoo as practical as St. Teresa herself. +Perhaps it was lucky for Uncle Eneas that she had adopted a baby; he +would have found a new order of nuns much more expensive. + +The invitation was sent to Uncle Matthew, and the next day the answer +came back written on the back of the same sheet of paper. In a +postscript he had added: "_I wish you wouldn't seal your envelopes to +me, as I cannot turn them so easily. People nowadays seem to have no +idea of economy. Every envelope should be used twice over._" + +"It's really not avarice," Aunt Cuckoo explained. "It's only +eccentricity." + +She was longing more than ever to get Jasmine out of the house. That +afternoon darling baby had pulled Uncle Eneas' moustache with a +suggestion of viciousness, and though Uncle Eneas had said in a fatuous +voice, "Poor little man, he doesn't know that it hurts," Aunt Cuckoo was +inclined to think that Baby did know it hurt, and that he had been +prompted to the outrage by Jasmine's influence. + +Uncle Matthew was apparently a difficult person to entertain at dinner +because he liked to be well fed and at the same time he did not like to +see anything wasted. If the least bit too much was given him, he would +overeat himself rather than let anything be wasted, which often made him +ill afterwards. Aunt Cuckoo's dinners in the past had usually been +failures, because in those days her temperament was far too vague to +calculate nicely the necessary quantity of food. The development of her +practical qualities promised greater success now. Besides, now that +Jasmine was here, she could not make a mistake, because if there was too +much Jasmine could be given a larger helping than she wanted, and if +there was too little Jasmine could be given less. It was debated whether +it would be wise to warn Uncle Matthew in advance of Jasmine's +existence, of which he was probably unaware, inasmuch as the Hector +Grants had every interest in not telling him; and it was finally decided +to say nothing about her until she was introduced to him. Aunt Cuckoo +was anxious to explain that Jasmine had come all the way from Sirene to +lay at his feet her father's dying wish in the shape of four pictures; +but Uncle Eneas' more cautious consular nature did not approve of this +plan. There was also some discussion whether anything should be said +about Baby. Aunt Cuckoo in the pride of maternity had no doubts; but +Uncle Eneas with the approach of Uncle Matthew's visit was feeling more +and more like a nephew and less and less like a father. + +"I don't think the old boy will understand our deliberately procuring a +child in that way. I know he has always regarded children as unpleasant +accidents." + +"But suppose darling Baboose cries?" + +"Well, he mustn't," the adopted father decided. "Or if he does, we must +say that it's a baby in the street outside. It's impossible really to +arrange a suitable reception in advance. That last tooth has been giving +him a good deal of trouble, you know, and he may ... well, he may in +fact take it out of the old gentleman. No, I feel sure that a meeting +between them would be most inappropriate." + +Aunt Cuckoo gave way. She was too anxious to palm off Jasmine on Uncle +Matthew not for once to sacrifice Baby's dignity as the heir of The +Cedars. + + + + +_Chapter Six_ + + +Uncle Matthew Rouncivell was not of course so old as his relatives +boasted that he was, but he was old enough to be considered incapable of +lasting much longer and old enough to justify any member of the family +in adding a few years to the correct total, which was seventy-six. He +had been fifteen years younger than the wife of the Bishop of Clapham, +and though he had scoffed at his sister for marrying a parson, he had to +admit in the end that Andrew had made the most of a poor profession. +Uncle Matthew's mean and acquisitive boyhood had been the consolation of +his father's declining years, and he started life with a comfortable +fortune notwithstanding what had been robbed from him as a dowry to +marry off his sister. Their father, Samuel Rouncivell, had invested +largely in property that seemed likely to put difficulties in the way of +far-off municipal improvements, or as he preferred to put it, lay along +the lines of future urban development. He and his son after him had a +remarkable flair for buying up decrepit slums that would afterward turn +out to be the only possible site for a new town hall or public library. +And then the keen eye old Samuel had for the arteries of traffic! Why, +it was as keen as an anatomist's for the arteries of the human body. In +whatever direction tramlines or railroads desired to flow, there stood +Samuel ready to apply his tourniquet, which was sometimes nothing more +than one tumbledown cottage plastered with signs of ancient lights. This +sense of direction was transmitted to Matthew, who when one of the big +London termini had to be enlarged trebled his fortune at a stroke. Now, +at seventy-six, he could not be worth less than fifteen thousand a year, +and as he did not spend five hundred, every year he lived was making him +wealthier. Long ago he had married a beautiful young woman who a few +months later was killed in a riding accident. Since then he had spent a +solitary and misanthropic life, grinding his tenants, amassing a +quantity of unusual walking-sticks and bad modern pictures, and +collecting what he called antiques. His only amusement was the malicious +delight he took in leading the various groups of his relations to +suppose one after another that he was contemplating them as his +beneficiaries. Thin-lipped and beaky, he had a fat flabby back and pale +flabby cheeks, and the skin of his neck was mottled and scaly as a +snake's slough. He usually wore a frock-coat that resembled the green +slime on London railings in wet weather; but when he dined out he took +with him a black velvet smoking cap worked in arabesques of yellow silk +and a pair of slippers made of leopard's fur to which moth had given a +mangy appearance. He liked to dine early, and it was six o'clock of a +fine evening in early May when he arrived at The Cedars, his frock-coat +reinforced by a grey muffler long enough and thick enough to have kept a +Zulu moderately warm at the North Pole. He did not seem in a good +temper, and when Niko helped him to disengage himself from the muffler, +he asked with a growl if the fool thought he was spinning a top. +However, when he entered the dining-room and saw poor Sholto Grant's +pictures all aglow in the rich horizontal sunlight, he cheered up for a +moment, until a suspicion that his nephew Eneas was proposing to sell +him the pictures intervened and spoilt his pleasure. He at once began to +criticize and cheapen the pictures so ruthlessly that Jasmine could +hardly keep back her tears. In Crispano's Café at Sirene she had once +heard a futurist painter criticizing her father's pictures, and she had +been so angry that she had upset the coffee over him on her way out. To +hear Uncle Matthew one might suppose that such bad pictures had never +been painted since the world began; yet she could say nothing. + +"I'm sorry you don't like them," said Aunt Cuckoo, "because Jasmine has +brought them back for you all the way from Sirene." + +"Eh? What's that?" demanded Uncle Matthew, twisting round on one of his +sticks and thumping the floor with the other. "Who's Jasmine?" + +"Jasmine is poor Sholto's daughter." + +"What? Another?" the old gentleman growled. + +"No, he only had one." + +"I can't think why people want to have children at all," Uncle Matthew +sniffed. Eneas congratulated his wife with a complacent glance on their +reserve about Baby. "So you brought back these pictures for me, did +you?" the old gentleman continued. "Humph! I did buy one of your +father's pictures a long time ago, and I don't say it was bad, but he +asked too much for it. And now if I accept these I shall have to buy +frames for them," he concluded indignantly. + +But the insistency of Sholto's pictures, the indubitable, the positive +proclamation of their being what they were, the full value they gave of +blue water, bright flowers, and rosy cheeks, softened the old +gentleman's heart. They really did express for him his own taste in art, +and inasmuch as they were a present he could not quite conceal his +gratification. + +"I hope you haven't gone and ordered a very extravagant dinner for me," +he said gruffly to hide as far as possible the least amenity in his +manner. + +Aunt Cuckoo reassured him, and, the gong ringing at that moment, they +moved toward the dining-room. Uncle Matthew disdained an arm, preferring +to rely upon his two sticks. + +"Wonderful how he bears himself for an old gentleman, isn't it?" +whispered Uncle Eneas to Jasmine. "We're a long-lived family. There's no +doubt about that." He was too anxious for the success of the evening to +brag more particularly about his own athletic qualities. + +The dinner consisted of various Eastern dishes, on all of which the old +gentleman looked with an approving eye, because each dish gave the +impression of being a hash of something unfinished the day before. The +richness of their flavouring appealed to his palate, and the zest with +which his nephew filled up his own plate had its effect upon his own +appetite. Jasmine got into disgrace early in the meal by leaving half a +plate of _pilau_ untouched, but she was able to recover some of her lost +ground by refusing wine. + +"Good girl!" Uncle Matthew exclaimed, and turning to his nephew he asked +why there was wine on the table when he knew that there was nothing of +which he disapproved so much as wine. Eneas glared angrily at his wife. +It was only since Father Maloney had been dining with them occasionally +that wine had been seen at The Cedars. The offending decanter was +removed, and everybody finished what water was left in his tumbler with +an expression of critical enjoyment. + +"Have you written about those rooms yet?" Uncle Matthew asked +presently. + +Eneas shook his head weightily. "The trouble is I shall have to stay in +London until the end of July. I've been asked by the Foreign Office to +do some work for them--expert work in Turkish which nobody else can do +at present." Then he wavered. "But perhaps Cuckoo...." + +His wife cut him short. "I shan't be able to get away until July," she +said; but she went on roguishly: "So we thought that perhaps if you were +very good, Uncle Matthew, we'd lend you Jasmine for a little while." + +Eneas could not withhold a glance of admiration; he even resolved not to +allude to the mistake over the wine when Uncle Matthew was gone. He +admitted to himself that he should never have thought of suggesting that +Jasmine was a loan, or of putting Uncle Matthew in the position of a +little boy being given a treat. + +"Lend me Jasmine?" the old gentleman repeated. "And what am I to do with +Jasmine, pray?" + +"She's invaluable," said Aunt Cuckoo, leaning across the dining-table +and squeezing her niece's hand. "And I wouldn't lend her to anybody else +but you. Everybody's clamouring for her." + +Uncle Matthew looked at his great-niece with the expression that for +many years he had been wont to accord to proffered bargains. + +"You told us you wanted a change," Aunt Cuckoo persisted. "And as soon +as you told us we made up our minds that whatever it cost us _you_ +should have Jasmine." + +Throughout the evening Aunt Cuckoo made it appear that Jasmine really +was indispensable, and by dint of never committing herself to anything +without asking Jasmine if she agreed with her and of never formulating +any plan without asking Jasmine first if she approved of it and of +never wanting anything without asking Jasmine if she would fetch it for +her, she really did manage to impress Uncle Matthew that by taking away +Jasmine from The Cedars he would be robbing a nephew and niece. This was +too keen a pleasure for the old gentleman to deny himself, and when he +left that evening he went away with a solemn promise that Jasmine should +be delivered to him at eleven o'clock the following morning. + +"We don't usually let the carriage go out two days running," said Aunt +Cuckoo in a final burst of abnegation, "but for dear Jasmine's sake we +will." + +"A very successful evening, my dear," Uncle Eneas observed when the +visitor was gone. + +"And that precious lamb upstairs never made a sound." + +"The young rascal! He knew. _He_ knew," the adoptive father idiotically +chuckled. + +Jasmine wondered what he was supposed to know--perhaps, she thought with +a shade of malice, that he might one day inherit Uncle Matthew's fortune +if Uncle Matthew died in ignorance of his existence. She could not bring +herself to imagine that any money would be left to Lettice and Pamela. +Ah, but there were others whom she had not yet seen, those six boy +cousins at Silchester, and Uncle Alexander with his lunatic prince. Why +had she ever consented to leave Sirene? Whichever way she looked in +England there was nothing to be seen except an endless vista of +servitude. Girls in books always struck out for themselves, but perhaps +they were the only girls who were written about. There must be hundreds +of others like herself who remained slaves. Not at all, they finally got +married; they worked hard and.... + +"It's really a ghastly prospect," she exclaimed aloud. + +"_Uscirò pazza!_ I'm like some cheap novel in a circulating library +gradually getting more and more dog's-eared, more and more dirty and +greasy, and all the time being passed on and on--oh! I can't stand it +much longer...." + +Jasmine did not set out to Muswell Hill with much hope in her heart. She +felt as if she was being posted to Matthew Rouncivell, Esq., and the +kisses of her uncle and aunt remained on her cheeks like postage stamps. + +Rouncivell Lodge was a double-fronted, two-storied house which was built +of brown brick in the first quarter of the nineteenth century, probably +by some prosperous city merchant, as a country residence. It had +remained what was practically a country residence until a few years ago, +when old Matthew Rouncivell sacrificed the couple of acres of garden +behind the house and built on the site large blocks of bright red flats, +leaving no land to his own house except the shrubbery in front, which +was divided into three segments by a semicircular drive; in the largest +of these stood a Doric summer-house converted by Mr. Rouncivell into a +smoking-room. The proximity of the flats and the amount of sky they cut +off added to the gloom of the shrubbery, which was a mass of rank ivy +and euonymus bushes, of American rhododendrons, lilacs that never +flowered, privets, and Portuguese laurels. Moreover, although the flats +were what the agent called high-class residential flats, the landlord, +possibly with the vague notion of guarding what was left of the privacy +he had himself destroyed, had had them planned to present to anybody +entering the gates of Rouncivell Lodge their domestic windows, which, +with dish-cloths drying on every sill, gave them the squalid appearance +of tenement buildings. + +The old gentleman himself, when, wearing his velvet smoking-jacket, his +tasselled smoking-cap, and a pair of goloshes over his fur slippers, he +visited the smoking-room to smoke his weekly cigar, found the flavour of +the cigar was enhanced by calculating how much a year each window in +sight brought him in. This meditation was so comforting that he used +really to enjoy his smoke, although the cigars, which were of poor +quality when he bought them, had not been improved by their storage in +the damp Doric summer-house. However, he smoked them literally to the +bitter end; this bitter end he used to stick upon a penknife, and even +when each puff nearly blistered his tongue he still enjoyed it, because +he had made a calculation that merely by the amount more of a cigar he +smoked than anyone else he had gained on the whole year two complete +cigars. He was always making calculations. He would even calculate how +much each spine of the shark's backbone that was the only decoration of +the walls of his smoking-room cost him. And as for the cost of Jasmine's +food, he could have told you to a spoonful of soup. + +The centre of Rouncivell Lodge was occupied by a very wide staircase +lighted from above by a large skylight and bounded by walls the entire +area of which was covered with a collection of astonishingly banal +pictures. The visitor realized with a shock of knowledge that the +pictures from the exhibition of the Royal Academy went every year to +accommodation provided by staircases like this. The most rapid, the most +inattentive glance at these pictures was enough to produce a sense of +almost intolerable fatigue, because each picture was so obviously what +it set out to be that the eye was not allowed a blink between a Sussex +down, a Devonshire harbour, a Dorset pasture, and a London slum, and the +amount of narrative compressed into the space was as if a dozen bad +novelists had simultaneously read a dozen of their worst chapters. The +massed effect was as confused and brilliant as a wall covered with +varnished scraps. The brightness of the staircase and the gaudiness of +the pictures were accentuated by the comparative gloom of the rooms on +either side, particularly those at the back of the house, which from +having been designed to look over a spacious garden were some of them +now only six feet from the walls of the new flats. The still close +atmosphere created by windows that were never opened from one year's end +to the other was tainted by the odour of varnish and stale sunlight; the +rooms on the ground floor smelt perpetually of half-past-two on Sunday +afternoon, partly of clean linen, partly of gravy. + +There were six bedrooms, all of them with large four-poster beds, and +all of them haunted by that strange frigidity, that frigidity almost of +death which is produced by the least superfluity of china. They were +furnished in an eclectic style, but the china was kept strictly to its +own kind; thus one bedroom would be red, blue, and gold with Crown +Derby; another, and this the most attractive, rose and lavender with +Lowestoft; and there was one nightmare of a room filled with black and +rose Sèvres. + +"I don't like the idea of your sleeping in any of these rooms," Mr. +Rouncivell grumbled to Jasmine. She thought at first that he meant to +suggest their discomfort, but he went on: "You'll have to be very +careful not to break anything. Just because there are three toilet sets, +it doesn't mean that you can break what you like. This china has taken +me a long time to collect, and it has cost me a great deal of money, +what's more. Look at that slop-pail. You dare use that slop-pail!" + +"Couldn't I have a less valuable set in my room?" Jasmine suggested. + +"Less valuable?" the old man echoed fiercely. "What do you mean by less +valuable? Do you want me to provide you with china you can throw about +the room?" + +"Which bedroom do you use?" she asked to change the subject. + +"Bedroom? Did you say bedroom? I don't sleep in a bedroom. I sleep in +the bathroom." + +He took her to the furthest door along the passage and showed her what +she thought was the most depressing room she had ever seen in her life. +It was such a small bathroom that having chosen it for a bedroom Uncle +Matthew had actually to sleep in the bath itself, or rather on a box +mattress which he had fixed on top of it. The window of the room, +already sufficiently gloomy from looking out on the flats, was made +still more gloomy by its panes being plastered with ferns and the faded +plumage of tropical birds. A board was nailed to the sill on which was a +brush with scarcely more bristles than Uncle Matthew had hairs, a comb +with four teeth, and a safety razor. Safety razors had brought a +peculiar pleasure into the old man's life, because since their +introduction he had been able to calculate every morning how many less +blades he used than anybody else would have used. + +After seeing this room Jasmine began to be rather apprehensive where she +should sleep; but with many admonitions she was finally awarded the +Lowestoft room, which, if she had to live surrounded by china, was the +ware she would have chosen. There was only one servant in the house, an +elderly woman with a yellow face called Selina, to whom Uncle Matthew +presented Jasmine with a solemnity that was accentuated by a din of +multitudinous clocks striking noon all over the house with an +accompaniment of cuckoos, chimes, and musical voluntaries. + +"Twelve o'clock," Uncle Matthew announced. + +"At least," said Jasmine. And then she blushed, because she had not +meant to be anything more than anxious to please the old man by an +assumption of cheerful interest. "I meant ... I was surprised to find it +was so early." + +"You'll be more surprised than that before you leave this house," said +Selina bitterly. "You'll be more surprised than that. You'll have the +surprise of your life. You'll be so surprised that you won't know +whether you're on your head or your heels." + +After this prophecy, the application of which Jasmine could not guess, +Selina did not speak to the guest except in monosyllables, and she +passed a dreary enough week in being shown Uncle Matthew's antiques and +in trying to hold the balance between greediness and wastefulness at +their sombre meals. At the end of the week he chose from his collection +of walking-sticks a Jersey cabbage-stalk, which he offered to lend her +for promenades about the shrubbery. + +"You've taken his fancy," said Selina, grabbing her arm when Jasmine, +cabbage-stalk in hand, was pretending to enjoy walking up and down the +drive. + +"I wish I could take yours," she replied. + +"You have," said the housekeeper. "And you're going to have tea with me +this blessed afternoon. It isn't the surprise I intended for you." + +"But it's a very nice surprise," said Jasmine. + +"It's a surprise to me. Which is God's way," she added more +enigmatically than ever. + +Selina belonged to one of those small religious sects which have done so +much to solve, to their own satisfaction at any rate, the obscure +problems of eschatology. Ceaseless meditation upon the fact that +ninety-nine per cent of the human race were damned made Selina gloomy, +for she was not naturally a misanthropist and took no pleasure in the +thought. Sometimes, moreover, she had doubts even about her own +salvation, and on such days the household suffered. Jasmine's arrival at +Rouncivell Lodge induced her to proclaim her conviction that with no +exception at all the whole of the human race was to be damned eternally. +Gradually, however, she realized that in any case she could not hope to +inherit the whole of Uncle Matthew's fortune, and she decided that the +few years between Uncle Matthew's death and her own projection into +eternal torment would be more pleasantly and more profitably passed with +Jasmine than alone on what might be an inadequate pension. No sooner had +she reached this conclusion than she heard a voice in the night telling +her that she was saved; the following morning she cooked some cakes and +invited Jasmine to tea with her in the kitchen, the character of which +accounted, Jasmine felt, for the housekeeper's yellow complexion; the +room was as warm and nearly as dark as the inside of an oven. A large +American clock, which only had to be wound up annually, was ticking over +the high black mantelpiece; crickets were clicking somewhere behind the +range; a green Norwich canary was pecking at his seeds; the hostess was +rustling the tea in a canister. + +Selina came to the point at once, and postponing the discussion of +Jasmine's chances in the eternal future asked her frankly how she +proposed to provide for the temporal future. + +"That's a question we're both entitled to ask, as you might say. Don't +eat those cakes too fast, or you'll have indigestion. What I mean to say +is Mr. Rouncivell's rich and you're not. You'll excuse the familiarity? +As soon as I saw your box, I said to myself: 'She's not rich.' Well, +that's nothing, is it? I'm not rich myself. But that doesn't say we +shouldn't live in hope. And that doesn't mean that I'm not provided for +in a manner of speaking. Well, I like your looks, and I don't mind +telling you that a lady friend of mine in Catford has taken two rooms +for my retirement when Mr. Rouncivell's earthly troubles are over; for I +wouldn't have you think he's not going to have worse troubles in the +next world. That's neither here nor there. He can't expect to keep me +for ever, that's a sure thing. If I'm one of the elect, he must just +lump it. Only as soon as I heard you was coming I said to myself: 'Now, +don't take an instant dislike to her before you've seen her. Make +friends and talk things over quietly in your own kitchen.' You're eating +those cakes too fast. Oh yes, I know they're very light and eat +theirselves in a manner of speaking, but you're eating them too fast. +Wait a bit and you shall have a cup of tea before you eat another one. +You help me and I'll help you. That's all there is to it. Yes, now +you're choking, you see. Supposing Mr. Rouncivell was to leave you +everything, you _would_ take care, wouldn't you, that those two rooms of +mine in Catford which my lady friend is occupying at present was nicely +furnished with what you might call any little tit-bits I chose for +myself? Now, there's the clock in the hall, for instance. I've been +listening to that clock these twenty years, and I've a fancy I should +like to go on listening to it until I die. The beds you can have. Well, +I mean to say, I never really cared for sleeping in a four-post bed. +Too human altogether, I'm bound to say. The posts, I mean." + +Jasmine had made several attempts to interrupt this stream of +conversation, and once she would have succeeded if Selina had not filled +her mouth at the moment of speech with a small tart. At last, however, +she managed to protest that she expected nothing from Uncle Matthew. + +"And that's where you're quite right," said Selina. "Don't expect +nothing, and you won't be disappointed. If I expected, I shouldn't be +taking you into my confidence, as it were, like I am doing. But if +you'll only do what I say and follow my advice, you can have it all. +There's that Lettice and that Pamela coming down with their darling +Uncle Matthew here and their darling Uncle Matthew there. But he sees +through it. Oh yes, he sees through all of them, the same as anybody +else might see through glass. He wants to leave his money to somebody +who'll look after it and not go and spend it. All you've got to do is to +scrimp and scrape and let him see as you're like himself. I suppose you +think he paid for those cakes you're eating? Not at all. They're paid +for out of my savings to show you I'm your friend. You help me and I'll +help you; and you can't say that's going against the Gospel, can you? Do +unto others as you would they should do unto you. So what you've got to +do is keep on admiring the way I save money, and I won't let any chance +go by of whispering in his ear that his money is safer with you than +with any of them. All I ask for myself is a few tit-bits when the poor +old gentleman's in the ground. He's got _no_ religion; he hates dogs, he +hates poor people, he hates hospitals, he hates public parks, he hates +everything. So there you are. I've been very plain spoken with you, and +you can't say the contrary; very plain spoken, I've been. I'm one of +the elect, and I can afford to be plain spoken. It doesn't matter what I +say or what I do, our loving heavenly Father's waiting for me at this +very moment, because He told me so last night. So far as I can see at +present, you're not one of the elect. I'm sorry for it, because I've +taken a rare fancy to you. But if we don't meet, in the heavenly courts, +we can be friends so long as we're on earth. Oh yes, it's all in the +Gospel." + +The housekeeper's frankness was not displeasing to Jasmine, although she +was much amused at the idea of inheriting money from anybody. However, +for the first month of her stay with Uncle Matthew she was, without +realizing it, quite a success, because having no money to spend, she +gave him the impression that she was of a saving disposition. It never +entered his head that anybody could be actually without one halfpenny, +and he applauded her disinclination to visit shops and theatres, her +habit of walking to where she wanted to go rather than of riding on +omnibuses, her transformation of a spring hat into a summer hat, as +admirable economies. + +"You're doing a treat," whispered Selina cunningly. "Last night I peeped +through his keyhole, and he was reading his will." + +It was a strange existence for a girl of nineteen, this life with Uncle +Matthew, and there were moments when she really did have daydreams about +inheriting a vast fortune and going back to Sirene. It was not so much +the idea of the money as of the return to her beloved island which +twined itself round her thoughts. There would be such delightful things +to do. She would buy that villa her father had always talked about +buying one day; she would buy up all the pictures of her father that she +could find and have a permanent exhibition of them in a large studio; +she would invite Lettice and Pamela to stay with her and make their +visit much more pleasant than they had made hers; she would invite Aunt +Cuckoo and Uncle Eneas to bring the baby to Sirene, and she would make +_their_ visit very pleasant; and, above all, she would always take care +that no people ever had to leave Sirene just because they could not +afford to go on living there. Oh yes, and then there was Cousin Edith. +She would certainly make an allowance to her so that she need never +again be snubbed by Aunt May. Poor Cousin Edith, how polite she would be +if she did inherit all Uncle Matthew's money. She would be so sorry +about the way she had behaved about Harry Vibart. Harry Vibart? What +could she do for him? She would never be able to marry him if she were +an heiress, because she would always be afraid that he only wanted to +marry her for her money. What a pity he did not propose to her before +she inherited. She would not accept him, of course, but if he did not +marry anybody else, and if he asked her again when she was rich, why +perhaps ... but what nonsense all this dreaming was! She ought to be +ashamed of herself. + +And then she would jump up from the chair in which she was sitting, jump +up so abruptly that all the knick-knacks would rattle and clink, and +taking her Jersey cabbage-stalk, she would wander up and down the drive +and become interested by such dull little incidents. Far the most +exciting thing that happened all that month was a white butterfly that +went dancing past and seemed to be flying south; and once an errand boy +tried to stand on his head in his empty basket just outside the gates of +Rouncivell Lodge. But that was only moderately exciting. Sometimes Uncle +Matthew would come and stump up and down beside her and tell her how +much a square foot the wood of whatever walking-stick he was using that +morning fetched. And then he would think that it was too cold to be out +of doors, and she would have to go in with him and mount a crazy +step-ladder to lift down some ornament that he wanted to move. Or else +she would have to wind up all the twelve tunes in his musical box, an +elaborate instrument with little drums, the parchment of which was +illuminated with posies, as much unlike real drums as the tinkling music +from old operas was unlike a real band. When all the tunes had been +played, Uncle Matthew always told her to be careful how she closed the +lid, because the case was worth a lot of money and the tunes had been +favourites of his wife. + +That young wife of Uncle Matthew who died so long ago! It was difficult +to think of her as his wife. Her portrait, in a full-skirted riding +habit and wearing a hat such as only undertakers and mutes wear +nowadays, hung over the mantelpiece in the dining-room, and Uncle +Matthew used to talk about her as Clara, which made it seem all the more +absurd to think that were she alive now Lady Grant would be calling her +Aunt Clara. Jasmine had never disliked Uncle Matthew, and his devotion +to the memory of his dead wife kindled the beginnings in her of a +genuine affection. She divined now why he slept in that bleak +uncomfortable bathroom, divined that it was due to a sentimental horror +of occupying any room that contained relics of her too intimate to be +spoken of. Jasmine used to ponder the old trunks, locked and strapped +and full no doubt of mouldering clothes, that stood in every bedroom +except her own. And even in her own bedroom the chests of drawers had +both of them two locked drawers, containing who should say now what +souvenirs of girlhood? Jasmine asked the housekeeper about Clara; but +Selina knew no more than herself. + +"I've never caught so much as a tiny glimpse of anything," she said. +"And of course she was dead almost before I was born, though not before +I was thought of, because my Pa was set on having a little girl of his +own a considerable number of years before he actually did. Yes, Mr. +Rouncivell cherishes her memory very dearly, and if ever he unlocks any +of her boxes or drawers, he always takes care to bolt himself in first. +In the room that is, of course. She was well-born too. Oh yes, an +undoubted lady--the only daughter of an esquire." + +One day Uncle Matthew took from the middle of his walking-sticks a slim +malacca cane, the silver handle of which was cut to represent a mailed +hand grasping a pistol. + +"Loaded with lead," he observed, "just like a real pistol. That was +Clara's favourite stick, and it's stood in this stand ever since she had +it first. If you like...." + +But he thought better of his offer and recommended Jasmine to look well +after her Jersey cabbage-stalk. Jasmine liked to think that the +unpleasant side of Uncle Matthew had not been developed until Clara's +death. She tried to get accustomed to his meanness, making all sorts of +excuses for it, and sometimes she actually encouraged him in it, as one +humours an invalid's petulance and selfishness. She never felt nearly so +much of a poor relation with him as with the others, and it was a +satisfaction to feel that he regarded all of them as every bit as much +poor relations as herself. Well, time was passing: already people were +writing less frequently from Sirene. The city sunlight glittered upon +the dusty leaves of the shrubs; Selina was a perpetual diversion; +Jasmine was as happy as a Java sparrow in a cage, and almost as happy as +the sparrows on the roof of Rouncivell Lodge. As for Uncle Matthew, he +became less grumpy every day. + +"Which means you suit him," said Selina. "You suit him the same as I +suit him. Yes, in a manner of speaking, I fit that man like a glove." + +Uncle Matthew had other reasons for supposing that in Jasmine he had +discovered a treasure, for no sooner had the information that she was +staying with him gone the round of her relatives than she received +pressing invitations to come and stay with them as soon as dear Uncle +Matthew could spare her. Perhaps Aunt Cuckoo, who had always been +considered the most foolish of the family, had proved herself the +wisest. The more the others wrote to ask Jasmine to stay with them, the +more Uncle Matthew expressed himself content with her company, and the +more Selina, with knowing looks and headshakes, implied her success. + +"You'll be his heir, you'll be his heir, you'll be his heir!" she +breathed exultingly. "And I've written to Mrs. Vokins she can rent the +kitchen an extra two days a week as from per now. What did he do +yesterday? Sent me out for a bottle of indelible ink. Indelible ink is +only used for two things--wills and washing. Oh, there's not a doubt +about it." + +The yellow-faced housekeeper was so confident of success that when Lady +Grant visited Rouncivell Lodge a few days later she alarmed her by open +references to Jasmine's good fortune. Lady Grant hurried home and told +Lettice and Pamela that, whatever their engagements during the crowded +end of June, they must be prepared to sacrifice themselves. Nothing +could be allowed to interfere with the affection they owed Uncle +Matthew. The poor old gentleman was in his dotage; he was on the edge of +the grave; he was being got at by that odious housekeeper and Jasmine. + +"After all our kindness," Lady Grant lamented. "It does seem a little +hard that she should turn the poor old dear against us. It's a crime." + +"It's worse than a crime," declared Cousin Edith fervidly, "it's a----" +But she could not think of anything worse than a crime except the sin +against the Holy Ghost, and fond though she was of Cousin May, she did +not think that Jasmine's behaviour was that--no, not quite that ... but +worse than a crime.... "it's an unnatural sin," she triumphantly +concluded after a little longer reflection. + +"Don't be ridiculous!" This was from Sir Hector. + +"Lettice and Pamela must go and stay with him," their mother decided. +"Now please, dear children, don't look so disagreeable." + +Lady Grant sat down at once and wrote to propose the visit. Next morning +Uncle Matthew tossed the letter across the breakfast table to Jasmine. + + 317 Harley Street, W. + + _June 20._ + + _My dearest Uncle Matthew,_ + + _Poor Lettice and Pamela are both getting so tired of gaiety that + ever since they went and had tea with you last they've been at me + to ask you to invite them to stay with you at Rouncivell Lodge. If + three are too many for you (or even two) Jasmine could come here + and stay with either Lettice and Pamela, whichever you didn't have + with you. If Lettice came now, Pamela could come in July, and I + thought that_ you _would like to come and spend the summer holidays + with us wherever_ you _liked. We thought of going to Littlehampton, + but anywhere will suit us. Do send a p.c. to say you expect either + or both. I'll send you all our news by the girls. Hector has been + awarded an honorary degree by the University of Cambridge. He has + just been trying on his robes. How expensive such things are! And + of course his brother's affairs cost him more than he could well + afford. But he never grumbles, though sometimes after a hard day he + talks of giving up his cigars._ + + _Ever your affectionate niece,_ + + _May Grant._ + +"Oh, I hope you won't send me away," Jasmine begged. She was not perhaps +actually enjoying herself at Rouncivell Lodge, but she greatly preferred +walking about the shrubbery with her Jersey cabbage-stalk to walking +round the Chamber of Horrors with Cousin Edith, which had been the last +dissipation provided for her at Harley Street. + +Therefore, when Uncle Matthew told her to write and say he could not +have either Lettice or Pamela, she was overjoyed to do so. It did not +strike her that it was a good opportunity to score off the Hector +Grants, and she wrote so simply that her letter gave the impression of a +security that irritated her relations much more than an attempt on her +side to be clever. + +"She's perfectly sure of herself," Lady Grant gasped. "She's wormed +herself in." + +"I always thought she was deeper than she pretended," Cousin Edith said +with a shake of her head. "Do you remember, May, I said to you once: +'Still waters run deep'? Only of course she wasn't still. She was never +still really. She was always jumping up and...." + +"Oh, for heaven's sake, Edith, don't babble on like that!" Sir Hector +interrupted. "Eighty pounds for these robes, my dear. That's a nice sum +to pay for a morning's masquerade." + +"Little beast," said Pamela loudly. "I detested her from the first. By +the way, I saw the Vibart youth at the Grave-Smiths' dance last night. +I didn't say anything about it at the time, because I was afraid that +Lettice might be upset." + +"Me upset?" Lettice exclaimed angrily. "Why should I have been upset?" + +"Now, please, darlings, don't quarrel," their mother begged. "This is +not the moment to quarrel among ourselves." + +"I say, I've got rather a notion," Pamela announced. "Why shouldn't we +ask the Vibart youth here and tell him where dear Cousin Jasmine is to +be found? _That_ would annoy Uncle Matthew." + +"What would annoy Uncle Matthew?" asked Lettice scornfully. + +"Sorry you still can't bear the thought of your beloved's treachery," +said Pamela with a malicious affectation of sympathy. "But if you could +calm your beating heart for the sake of the family, you'd see what I +meant." + +"If Pamela thinks she can say what she likes to me just because...." + +"Now hush, darling. Don't lose your temper, my pet. I see what Pamela +means," interposed Lady Grant soothingly. + +"You always take Pamela's side." + +"Now, my darling, I must entreat you not to argue so absurdly." + +"I should have thought it would have been obvious to the meanest +intelligence," said Pamela with lofty sarcasm. + +"Oh, would you, cleversticks?" her sister sneered. + +"Obvious to anybody that if the Vibart youth hangs round Uncle +Matthew's, Uncle Matthew will think twice of being so fond of our sweet +cousin." + +"Pamela, you're a genius," her mother declared proudly. + +"Oh, she is, she is!" cried Cousin Edith, clapping her hands with +excitement, for the scheme appealed to the innate procuress within her. +"I should never have thought of anything half as clever. She's a...." + +"Edith," her own rich cousin interposed, "I wish you wouldn't be quite +so enthusiastic." + +"I'm so sorry," Edith murmured humbly. "Shall I go and give Spottles his +bath? Poor old boy, he's been rolling again, Cook says." And by the way +in which she washed her own hands as she went out of the room Cousin +Edith managed to suggest with suitable regret that she too had been +rolling. + +Within three days of this conversation Harry Vibart called on Jasmine at +Rouncivell Lodge. + +"Look here," he said reproachfully, "why didn't you ever write?" + +"You never wrote to me." Jasmine tried to be cold and dignified, but she +was so glad to see him again that it was not a successful attempt. + +"I wrote you six letters." + +"I never got them. I expect my aunt wouldn't allow them to be +forwarded." + +Vibart was sure that Jasmine was misjudging her. No one could have been +more anxious to help him find Jasmine. Why, she had taken the trouble to +write to Mrs. Grave-Smith for his address, had asked him to lunch and +then volunteered Jasmine's address, and, what is more, advised him to go +and call on her. + +The Italian half of Jasmine was capable of being suspicious; it warned +her that people like Aunt May did not so abruptly change their point of +view. Why should she have sent him here? Why?... Why?... It must be that +Lettice and Pamela had a chance of being married at last and that in a +spasm of generosity she wished to help her niece ... or was it that she +was afraid of having her on her hands, and hoped to palm her off on +Harry Vibart? Such an idea froze her, and the young man, taken aback by +her change of expression, asked what was the matter. + +"I'm afraid you must have found it a very long way up to Muswell Hill," +she said stiffly. + +"Longish. Longish," he agreed. "But I took a taxi." + +At this moment the window of the room in which they were sitting was +darkened by a shadow, and there was Uncle Matthew with his face pressed +against the pane and wearing an expression of malevolence, ferocity, and +alarm. When they looked up, he waved his sticks above his head and +snarled at them. + +"It's a lunatic," exclaimed Harry Vibart. + +"No, no, it's my uncle." + +"I say, I'm awfully sorry. Perhaps he's ill." + +Uncle Matthew was still waving his sticks so oddly and making such +strange faces that Jasmine was alarmed and ran out to see what was +upsetting him. + +"Are you ill?" she asked. + +"Ill? Ill? No. But I shall be ill in a moment. Listen!" + +From the direction of the gates of Rouncivell Lodge the engine of a taxi +throbbed upon the warm June air. + +"He thinks it's an aeroplane," Vibart whispered. "Poor old chap, he's +probably afraid it's going to fall on the house. Old people who haven't +seen many of them do often get worried like that. It's all right, sir," +he added in a louder voice, "it's only my taxi running up the +twopences." + +"Take it away," the old gentleman screamed. "Take it away, and take +yourself away with it. Who are you? What do you mean by coming here and +visiting my niece and keeping a taxi buzzing outside the gate? Do you +realize that it's costing a penny a minute? Take it away!" + +Harry looked at Jasmine, and she signed to him that it would be right to +humour her uncle. She really was afraid that he was going to have a fit. + +"Perhaps I may call another day?" the young man suggested in a +despondent tone of voice. + +"Certainly not. You'll be driving up next in a golden coach. If you want +to squander your money, squander it some other way." + +It was useless to argue with the infuriated old gentleman, and Vibart +took himself off. + +"That's the last I shall see of him," thought Jasmine, turning sadly to +follow her uncle into the house. Later on, however, when Uncle Matthew +had recovered from the shock to his parsimony, he enquired who her +visitor was, and she thought that she was able to reassure him. + +"Well," said the old gentleman, "perhaps I was a little hasty. Yes, I +think I was. Does he smoke?" + +"Not cigars," said Jasmine quickly. "At least I've never seen him +smoking a cigar." + +"He can come and see you twice a week. Once in the morning and once in +the afternoon. And then perhaps later on we'll ask him to lunch. But +don't count on that. And now come and sit with me in the smoking-room. +Because I must smoke a cigar to calm my nerves after that shock." + +They passed out into the hall, and on his way through Uncle Matthew +cast a glance, as his custom was, at the numerous walking-sticks. + +"Whose is this?" he asked, picking a malacca from the stand. "H. V." he +read. "This is your friend's. You see, my dear, he's careless through +and through. I never left a walking-stick in somebody else's house. +Never in all my life." + +"I think you made him rather nervous," Jasmine explained apologetically. +But the old gentleman paid no attention: he was searching for something +he missed. + +"Where is it?" + +"Where's what?" + +"Clara's silver-handled cane." + +"I don't see it," Jasmine stammered apprehensively. + +"It's gone. That villain must have stolen it." + +"If Mr. Vibart has taken one of your sticks, Uncle Matthew, he must have +done so by mistake." + +"The young scoundrel! The young blackguard!" He became incoherent with +rage. + +"But, Uncle Matthew, if he has taken one of your sticks he'll bring it +back." + +"Hers! Hers!" the old gentleman was gasping. + +"Oh, dear Uncle Matthew, I'm so dreadfully sorry." + +"My poor little wife's! He's taken my poor little wife's silver-handled +cane. And she was so fond of it. Her favourite. The ruffian! +The--the--tramp! He might have taken any other but that. Oh dear! Oh +damn! Why do you bring these people here, you abominable girl?" + +That afternoon Jasmine arrived in Harley Street, and had to explain that +Uncle Matthew would not have her to stay with him any longer. The Hector +Grants welcomed her with something like friendliness, but the next day, +when Vibart brought back the missing stick, it was Pamela who claimed +the privilege of returning it to Uncle Matthew, and a few days later it +was thought advisable for Jasmine to pay her promised visit to Aunt +Ellen and Uncle Arnold at Silchester. + + + + +_Chapter Seven_ + + +Jasmine had protested against the visit to Silchester; and this protest +was in the opinion of the Hector Grants conclusive evidence of a +thwarted intention to corrupt poor old Uncle Matthew. Her resentment of +the humiliating unconcern for her own dignity that was being displayed +in thus sending her round from one group of relatives to another was +brushed aside as no more than the expression of a natural chagrin at +finding that her schemes had miscarried. They did not, of course, accuse +her in so many words of being crafty; but Jasmine understood well enough +at what they were hinting, and the consciousness that she had allowed +Selina to discuss her prospects in the old gentleman's will, coupled +with the memory of her own dreams of what she should do if he did leave +his money to her, gave Jasmine a sufficiently acute sense of guilt to +cut short any further opposition to the Silchester visit. + +"I simply cannot understand your prejudice against the Deanery," Aunt +May avowed. "There must be something else which you are trying to +conceal." One of Aunt May's foibles was to regard as potential jackdaws +everybody not situated so advantageously as herself. "It can't merely be +that you don't want to greet your Aunt Ellen. There must be some other +reason. I'm sorry your friend Mr. Vibart should have made such an +unfortunate impression on poor old Uncle Matthew. But that is not our +fault, is it?" + +"I never said that anything was your fault, Aunt May," Jasmine +responded. "I know perfectly well that everything is my fault, and +that's why I don't want to upset any more of my relations by this +behaviour of mine that they seem to find so dreadful." + +"Nobody has found your behaviour dreadful," Aunt May gently +contradicted. "Try not to exaggerate. I don't think I have ever called +you anything worse than inconsiderate." + +"Well, but you hate having me on your hands," Jasmine burst out. "You +hate it. Why don't you let me go back to Sirene?" + +"I've already explained to you," continued Aunt May more gently than +ever, "I've already explained to you that your uncle could not accept +such a responsibility. What would people say if a man in his position +allowed his niece aged nineteen to set up an establishment on her own in +a place like Italy?" + +"People wouldn't say anything at all," Jasmine argued. "People are not +so violently interested in me as all that." + +"No, dear, that may be. But they are interested in your uncle, and we +have to think of him, have we not? Besides, I should have supposed that +you would have been glad to meet your poor father's only sister. She is +the kindest of women, and Uncle Arnold is the kindest of men. I cannot +say how painful it is for me to feel that _I_ have not succeeded in +rousing the least little bit of affection. I was ready to make all kinds +of excuses for you last year when you first arrived. I realized that +excuses had to be made then. But now you have been nearly a year in +England, and it is surely not unreasonable to expect you to begin to +show a little self-control. I'm afraid your visit to Uncle Matthew has +done you no good. I was strongly opposed to it from the beginning and +told Aunt Cuckoo as much quite plainly. But Aunt Cuckoo gets Ideas into +her head. This turning Roman Catholic, this adopting a baby, this +packing you off to poor old Uncle Matthew. Ideas! However, it is not our +business to discuss Aunt Cuckoo.... You say you don't believe your +relations in Silchester want you. I contend they have shown quite +clearly that they do. And I should also like to point out that, if you +decline to go, you will grievously wound your Aunt Ellen, who is +not...." + +"Very well, I'll go, I'll go! I'll do anything you want if you'll only +stop lecturing me!" Jasmine could almost have flung herself on her knees +before Aunt May if by doing so she could have stopped this conversation. +There had been a sweet-shop on the way to the School of Swedish Culture, +with an apparatus that went on winding endlessly round and round a skein +of fondant that apparently always remained of the same size and +consistency. Jasmine used to avert her head at last as she went by, so +depressing became the sight of that sweet and sticky mess being wound +round and round and round ... her aunt's little talks reminded her of +it. + +Aunt May confided in Cousin Edith after this outburst that she had +wondered for a minute or two if Jasmine was really human. Cousin Edith +tried to look as though she still wondered if Jasmine was really human, +and all she got for her desire to be agreeable was to be asked if she +had a stiff neck. + +It was quarter day by now, and Jasmine was advised to spend her +allowance on suitable summer frocks; she was also advised not to buy too +many, because next quarter day she would be requiring suitable autumn +frocks, and she was to bear in mind that clothes for autumn and winter +were more expensive. Jasmine longed to refuse her allowance, but her +vanity was too strong for her pride; unable to contemplate appearing +before her six boy cousins in the dowdy remains of last year's +wardrobe, she accepted the money, and despising herself for being so +weak, she bought a flowered muslin frock and a white linen coat and +skirt, the latter of which was condemned as an extravagance by Aunt May, +who had no belief in the English climate. Jasmine might have spared +herself the humiliation of accepting Uncle Hector's allowance, because a +day or two later Aunt Cuckoo, in a rapture over some alleged +conversational triumph of Baboose, sent her a present of five pounds, +over which Cousin Edith sizzled but a little less appetizingly than if +it had been a present from Aunt May herself. + +"Well, I declare," she exhaled. "If you aren't a lucky girl!" + +And as the lucky possessor of five pounds all her own, Jasmine set out +next day to meet another set of rich relatives. + +The journey to Silchester in glowing blue midsummer weather through the +fat pasture lands of Berkshire and Hampshire gave Jasmine such a new and +such a pleasurable aspect of England that she began to wonder if she had +been suffering all this year from a jaundiced point of view, if indeed +Aunt May's assumption of martyrdom had any justification from her own +behaviour. This landscape through which the train was passing with such +an effect of deliberate and conscious enjoyment, with such an air of +luxuriousness really, soothed her mind, warmed her heart, put her soul +to bed and tucked it comfortably and safely in for some time to come. +She determined to meet her new uncle and aunt in the same spirit as the +train's; they were to be the natural products of such a landscape, and +whether they placidly accepted her arrival like those rotund sheep or +whether they threw their legs in the air and swished their tails like +those lean and spotted cows pretending to be frightened of the train, +she would survey them as amiably and as philosophically. Jasmine was +smiling at herself for using such a long word when they ran into a +tunnel, one of those long smelly tunnels in which the train seems to +bang itself from side to side in despair of ever getting out. Yes, +thought Jasmine, even if Uncle Arnold and Aunt Ellen were as stiff as +this window, as unreceptive and unsympathetic as this strap and as +ungenerous as the blue electric bulb in the roof of the compartment, she +would still be philosophical, oh yes, and very very amiable, she vowed +as the train escaped from the tunnel, and the air odorous with sun and +grass deliciously fanned her. As for Harry Vibart, it was absurd to go +on thinking of him. She might as well fall in love with a +jack-in-the-box. Fall in love? She detected a faster heart-beat, a +suggestion of creeping gooseflesh. Fall in love? Jasmine would have +liked to lecture her own self now; she felt as censorious of her +involuntary self as Aunt May. But it was no fun to lecture one's +involuntary self unless it were done <i>viva voce</i>, and if she did that the +woman on the other side of the carriage, who ever since Waterloo had +been fecklessly trying to separate the green gooseberries in her string +bag from the cracknel biscuits and French beans, might be alarmed. But +how could she have ... of course it wasn't really his fault about the +stick; in fact, he probably considered himself badly treated in the +matter. But he must not come down to Silchester and create another scene +there. Besides, what right or reason had she to let him come down there? +He had never given her the slightest justification for supposing that he +was anything more than mildly interested in her. To be sure, he had +insisted that he had written to her half a dozen times. But had he? The +proper course of action for herself, the dignified and in the +circumstances the easiest attitude for her to adopt, was one of kindly +discouragement. Yes, she would write to him from the Deanery and tell +him plainly that she hoped he would not think of coming down to visit +her there. She had just reached this decision when the train steamed +into Silchester station. + +Jasmine was waiting on the platform in the expectation of being +presently accosted by any one of the several dowdy women round her when +both her arms were roughly grabbed and she found herself apparently in +the custody of two boy scouts. + +"I say, are you Cousin Jasmine?" asked the smaller of the two in a +squeaky voice. + +Simple and obvious though the question seemed, it had an extraordinary +effect on the other boy, who instantly let go of her arm in order to +engage in what to Jasmine's alarmed vision looked to be a life-and-death +struggle with his companion, which did not end until the smaller boy had +cried in his squeaky voice 'Pax, Edred,' several times. Edred, however, +was for prolonging the agonies of the requested armistice by twisting +his brother's arm--for the ferocity with which they had fought was +surely a sign that they were as intimately related--and making numerous +conditions before he agreed to grant a cessation of hostilities. + +"Will you swear not to chisel again if I let go your arm?" + +"Yes, I swear." + +"Will you swear not to be a rotten little chiseller, and when I say +'bags I asking' next time not go and ask yourself straight off?" + +"Yes, I swear. Oh, shut up, Edred. You're hurting my arm most +frightfully. You are a dirty cad!" + +"What did you call me?" Edred fiercely enquired with a repetition of the +torture. + +"I said you were a frightfully decent chap. Ouch! You devil! The +decentest chap in all the world." + +"Well, kneel down and lick my boot," Edred commanded loftily, "and you +can have pax." + +"No, I say, don't be an ass," protested the younger. "Ouch! Shut up! +You'll break my wrist if you don't look out, you foul brute!" + +And then, in despair at the severity of the armistice conditions, he +wrenched himself free and returned with fury to the attack. The fresh +struggle continued until an old gentleman was knocked backward over a +luggage truck, after which Edred told his brother to shut up fighting, +because people were beginning to stare at them. + +"Sorry to keep you waiting, Cousin Jasmine," he said genially, "but I +had to give young Ethelred a lamming for being such a beastly little +cheat. He's too jolly fond of it." + +"Speak for yourself," Ethelred retorted. "You know mother said I'd got +to come with you this time." And then he turned in explanation to +Jasmine. "The last time Edred bagged going to see Canon Donkin off from +the station he stood on the step outside the carriage door all the way +along the platform until the train was going too fast for him to jump +off, the consequence of which was he got carried on to Basingstoke. +Father was sick as muck about it." + +"It was rather a wheeze," said Edred simply but proudly. "I very nearly +fell off. I would have, if old Donkin hadn't got hold of my collar. And +I had an ice at Basingstoke," he added tauntingly to his brother. + +"Well, so could I have had an ice too if I'd done the same, greedy +guts," replied the brother. + +"No, you couldn't." + +"Yes, I could." + +And the fight would have begun all over again if Jasmine had not +entreated them to find her luggage. As this process involved making a +nuisance of themselves in every direction they accepted the job with +alacrity. When the trunk was found, Edred suggested as rather a wheeze +that Ethelred should have it put on his back like a porter, and +Ethelred, in high approval of such a course, accepted the position with +zest. He was swaying about on the platform to the exquisite enjoyment of +his brother when an old lady, who was evidently a stranger to +Silchester, asked Jasmine if she was not ashamed to let a little boy +like that carry such a heavy trunk. At that moment Ethelred was carried +forward by the impetus of the trunk, which slid over his shoulders, and +cannoned into the stream of people passing through the ticket barrier. +The odd thing was that none of the station officials seemed to interfere +with the behaviour of her cousins until the ticket collector, from +having had most of his tickets knocked out of his hand, lost his temper +momentarily and aimed a blow at Ethelred with his clip. + +"How are we going to the Deanery?" Jasmine enquired when at last to her +relief she found herself on the edge of the kerb outside the station. + +"Edwy's going to drive us in the governess-cart," they informed her. +Jasmine had not the slightest idea what a governess-cart was; but it +sounded a fairly safe kind of vehicle. + +"Edwy's rather bucked at driving you," said Edred. "He's going to +pretend it's a Roman chariot. You'll be awfully bucked too," he added +confidently to his cousin. "It's rather hard cheese we've got your +luggage, because it will make a squash. I say, why shouldn't we leave it +here?" + +"Oh no, please," Jasmine protested. + +"Right-o," said Edred. "But it would be quite safe here on the kerb. You +see, Ethel and I wanted to drive, and if you left your luggage here we +could come back and fetch it." + +Jasmine, however, was firm in her objection to this plan, and at that +moment a fat boy of about fifteen, whose voice was at its breaking +stage, was seen standing up in a governess-cart shouting what Jasmine +recognized as the correct language of a Roman charioteer from _The Last +Days of Pompeii_. She asked the other two which cousin this was. + +"I say, don't you know?" Edred exclaimed in incredulous surprise. +"That's old Edwy, only we call him Why, and we call me Because, and we +call Ethelred Ethel." + +"No we don't, so shut up," contradicted Ethelred. + +"Well, he looks like a girl, doesn't he, Cousin Jasmine?" + +Jasmine was spared the embarrassment of a reply by Edwy's pulling up +with the governess-cart. + +"Did you win?" both the younger brothers asked eagerly. + +Edwy nodded absently; his whip had coiled itself round a lamp-post. +Greetings between herself and this third cousin over, Jasmine was +invited to get in and recommended to sit well forward and not get +tangled up with the reins. Her box was placed opposite her, and the +younger boys mounted. + +"Good Gum," Edwy exclaimed with contempt. "We can't race anything with +this load, can we?" + +Jasmine, perceiving the narrow High Street of Silchester winding before +her, was thankful for the news. + +"I tell you what we could do," Edred suggested. "We could pretend that +it was three chariots, and that we were all three driving one against +the other." + +Edwy considered this offer for a moment, then "Right-o" he agreed +calmly, and off they went. It might have been less dangerous if Edwy had +raced another cart as originally intended, because with the convention +they were then following both his younger brothers had to have a hand on +the reins. They also had to have a turn with the whip. The extraordinary +thing to Jasmine was that this reeling progress down the High Street did +not seem to attract a single glance. She commented on the public +indifference, and the boys explained that the natives were used to them. + +"Monday and Tuesday were much worse than we are," said Edred. + +"Monday and Tuesday?" + +"Edmund and Edgar. The pater was only a Canon Residentiary in those +days. He's been Dean for six years now. He's the youngest Dean that ever +lived. Or the youngest Dean alive; I forget which. Then he was Regius +Professor of Anglo-Saxon at Oxford." + +"The youngest Dean that ever lived in Silchester, you ass," interposed +Edwy with a gruff squeak. + +"Oh well, it's all the same, and ass yourself!" + +Jasmine, who feared the effect of another fight in the cart, changed the +subject with an enquiry about Oxford. + +"I can't remember being there," said Ethelred proudly. And his elder +brothers appeared quite jealous of what was evidently a family +distinction. + +"Last lap!" Edwy shouted. "Don't go on jabbering about Oxford." + +They were driving along a quiet road of decorous Georgian houses, at the +end of which was a castellated gateway. + +"Here's the Close," Edred cried as they passed under the arch into a +green and grey world. "Blue leads! Blue leads!" + +"Shut up, you fool, I'm Blue!" yelled the youngest. + +While the rival charioteers punched each other behind their brother's +back, Purple in the personification of Edwy pulled up at the Deanery and +claimed to be the victor. The serenity of the Close after that +break-neck drive from the station was complete. The voices of the +charioteers arguing about their race blended with the chatter of the +jackdaws speckling the great west front of the Cathedral in a pleasant +enough discordancy of sound that only accentuated the surrounding +peacefulness. Upon the steps that led up to the west door the figures of +tourists or worshippers appeared against the legended background no +larger than birds. At no point did the world intrude, for the houses of +the dignitaries round their quadrangle of grass had nothing to do with +the world, and if a town of Silchester existed, it was hidden as +completely by the massed elm trees that rose up behind the low houses of +the Dean and Chapter as the ancient Roman city was hidden in the grass +that now waved above its buried pavements and long lost porticoes. + +"It really is glorious here, isn't it?" Jasmine exclaimed. + +"Yes, it's rather decent," Edred allowed. "We've got a swannery at the +back of our garden, and that's rather decent too. They get awfully waxy +sometimes. The swans, I mean," he supplemented. And in such +surroundings, Jasmine felt, even swans had no business to lose their +tempers. + +The Deanery itself was externally the gravest and most impressive of the +many grave and impressive houses round the Close. Beheld thus it +presented such an imperturbable perfection of appearance that before he +knocked upon its door or rang its bright brass bell, the most +self-satisfied visitor would always accord it the respect of a momentary +pause. But when the door was opened--and it was opened by a butler with +all the outward and visible signs of what a decanal butler ought to +be--that air of prosperous comfort, of dignity and solid charm, +vanished. It was not that the entrance-hall was ill-equipped. Everything +was there that one could have expected to find in a Dean's hall; but +everything had an indescribably battered look, the irreverent mark that +an invading army passing through Silchester might have left upon the +Deanery, had some of the soldiers been billeted there. It was haunted by +a sense of everything's having served some other purpose from that for +which it was originally intended, and the farther one penetrated into +the house the more evident were the ravages of whatever ruinous +influence had been at work. Even Jasmine with her slight experience of +English houses was taken aback by the contradiction between the exterior +and the interior of the Deanery. She was used to entering Italian +palaces and finding interiors as bare and comfortless as a barrack; but +in them the discomfort and bareness had always been due to the +inadequate means of their owners. It was certainly not poverty that +caused the contradiction at the Deanery. The solution of the puzzle +burst upon her when with a simultaneous onrush her cousins, each +shouting at the top of his voice 'Bags I telling the mater Jasmine is +here,' stormed the staircase like troops. The butler, listening to their +yells dying away along the landing above, paused for a moment from the +gracious pomp of his ministrations and observed to Jasmine: "Very +high-spirited young gentlemen." + +"But is the pony quite safe?" she asked, looking back to where the +governess-cart with her trunk still inside was waiting driverless +outside the door. + +"Yes, miss, she's not a very high-spirited animal, and she's usually +very quiet after the young gentlemen have driven her." + +Again the yells resounded, this time with increasing volume as the three +boys drew nearer, leaping, sliding, rolling, and cannoning down the +staircase abreast. Jasmine received a thump from Edred, who was the +first to reach her, a thump that was evidently the sign of victory, +because the other two immediately resigned her to his escort for the +necessary presentation to her aunt, while they went out to attend to the +pony. + +Aunt Ellen's room had escaped the pillaged appearance which upstairs at +the Deanery was even more conspicuous than below; it was crowded with +religious pictures in religious Oxford frames, religious Gothic +furniture, and religious books. Apart from the fruit of her own +religious tastes, Aunt Ellen had directly inherited from the Bishop of +Clapham his religious equipment (accoutrements would be too highly +coloured a word for the relics of that broad-minded prelate); and +perhaps because she was fond of her episcopal father she had hesitated +to sacrifice his memory, together with her husband and the rest of the +household, upon the common altar of those six household gods, her sons. +At any rate, when she carefully explained to her niece that the room was +a sanctuary not so much for her own use as for old time's sake, Jasmine +accepted its survival as due to some sentimental reason. But if Aunt +Ellen's room had escaped, Aunt Ellen herself had certainly not. The +weather-beaten gauntness of Uncle Eneas and Uncle Hector was in Aunt +Ellen much exaggerated, although an aquiline nose preserved her from +being what she otherwise certainly would have been, a grotesque of +English womanhood, or rather, what English people would like to consider +a grotesque of English womanhood; Jasmine, however, with many years' +experience of English tourists landing at Sirene after a rough voyage +across the Bay of Naples, considered Aunt Ellen to be typically English. +She had acquired that masculine look which falls to so many women who +have produced a number of sons. When Jasmine knew her better she found +that her religious views and emotions resembled the religious views and +emotions that are so widely spread among men of action, such as sea +captains and Indian colonels. Her ignorance of anything except the +gentlemanly religion of the professional classes was unlimited; her +prejudice was unbounded. Jasmine soon discovered that the main reason +why she had not been invited to the Deanery before was her aunt's fear +of introducing a papist into the household. It was this, apparently, +that weighed much more with her than the accounts she had received from +Lady Grant of their niece's behaviour. True, she informed Jasmine that +she had been anxious to correct the looseness of her moral tone. But how +could she compete with priest-craft? She actually asked her niece this! +Her religious apprehensions were only overcome by the menace of waking +up one morning to find Jasmine the sole heiress of Uncle Matthew's +fortune, which, as she wrote to her sister-in-law, without presuming to +impugn the disposition of God, would be entirely unjust. It was not that +she dreaded a direct competition with her own boys, because, proud +though she was of them and of herself for having produced them, she +never deceived herself into supposing that a personal encounter between +them and their uncle would be anything but fatal, not merely to their +chances of ultimate wealth, but also to her own. On her own chances she +did build. She could not believe that her uncle (painfully without +belief in a future state as he was) would ignore the rights of a niece +married to the Dean of Silchester. After all, a Dean was something more +than a religious figure; he was a worldly figure. Aunt Ellen was sharply +aware of the might of a Dean, because that might was mainly exercised by +her, the Dean himself by now taking not the least interest in anything +except the history of England before the Conquest. Jasmine had derived +an entirely false impression of her aunt from her letters, which, filled +as they were with religious sentimentality, suggested that Aunt Ellen +was softer than the rest of the family, that perhaps she was even like +her own beloved father. She found, however, that except where her sons +were concerned Aunt Ellen was hard, fierce, martial, and domineering. +All her affection she had kept for her sons, all her duty for God. +Jasmine was not so much discouraged as she might have been by her aunt's +personality, because she found at any rate her three youngest cousins a +great improvement on Lettice and Pamela, and if the three eldest ones +turned out to be only half as amusing, she felt that she should not +dislike her visit to the Deanery. Besides, she had the satisfaction of +knowing that this was quite definitely only a visit, and that there was +no proposal pending to attach her permanently to the household as a poor +relation. + +Jasmine did not discover all this about her aunt at their first meeting; +the conversation then was crammed with the commonplace of family news; +and how Aunt Ellen would have resented the notion that any news about +the Grants could be described as commonplace! She might have gone on +talking until tea-time if Edred's continuous kicking of the leg of her +father's favourite table had not suggested a diversion in the form of +Jasmine's long-delayed introduction to the Dean. She had hesitated to +interfere directly with her son's harmless if rather irritating little +pleasure; but the varnish was beginning to show signs of Edred's boots, +and she announced that, although Uncle Arnold was working, he would no +doubt in the circumstances forgive them for disturbing him. + +Jasmine smiled pleasantly at the implied compliment, not realizing that +the circumstances were the table's, not hers. + +"I say, need I go?" asked Edred. He dreaded these visits to the study, +because they sometimes ended in his being detained to copy out notes for +his father. + +"No, dear, you need not go." + +Edred dashed off with a whoop of delight, turning round in the doorway +to shout to Jasmine that he would be in the garden with Why and Ethel +should she wish presently to be shown the swans. + +"Poor boy," sighed Aunt Ellen when he was gone, and upon Jasmine's +asking what was the matter with him, she told her that he had just +failed for Osborne. + +"It's such a blow to him," she murmured in a plaintive voice that was +ridiculously out of keeping with her rockbound appearance. "If he had +passed, he had made up his mind to become an admiral, and now I suppose +we must send him back to school in September. Poor little boy, he's +quite heartbroken. I've had to be very gentle with him lately." + +Jasmine supposed it might be tactless to observe that Edred showed no +signs of heartbreak, and instead of commenting she enquired +sympathetically what Ethelred was going to do. + +"Ah, poor Ethelred's a great problem. He wants to be an engineer, and +really he is very clever with his fingers; but his father is quite +opposed to anything in the nature of technical education until he's had +an ordinary education. I think myself it is a pity, but Uncle Arnold is +quite firm on that point. Ethelred was at Mr. Arkwright's school until +Easter, but the school doctor wrote and told us that he thought the air +on the east coast was too bracing for him. In fact, he insisted on his +leaving for the dear boy's own sake." + +"And Edwy?" + +"Ah, poor Edwy! His heart is weak, and we can only hope that with care +he will become strong enough for the Army by the time he goes to +Sandhurst." + +"Is his heart very weak?" Jasmine asked. + +"Oh, very weak," her aunt replied, "and he has set it--his heart, I +mean--on being a soldier, and so he is working with Canon Bompas, one of +the minor canons. A great enthusiast of the Boy Scout movement. A +delightful man who was in the Army before he took Orders, and who, as he +often says jokingly, though of course quite reverently, still belongs to +the artillery. He is a bachelor, though of course," added Aunt Ellen, +"not from conviction. As you perhaps know, the Church of England is +opposed to celibacy of the clergy. Yes, poor Edwy! He had such a lovely +voice. I wish it hadn't broken just before you arrived." + +It was hard to believe that Edwy's voice, which now alternated between +the high notes of a cockatoo and the low notes of a bear, had ever been +beautiful, and Jasmine was inclined to ascribe its alleged beauty to +maternal fondness. + +"Edmund and Edgar won't be back from Marlborough until the end of the +month; but Edward is coming in a fortnight. He delighted us all by +winning a scholarship at Trinity. He's so happy at Cambridge, dear boy; +though I think everybody is happy at Cambridge, don't you?" + +Jasmine agreed, though she really had no opinion on the subject. + +"Well, come along," said her aunt, "and we'll go and find your uncle. +Quite a walk," she added, "for his study is at the far end of the top +storey. His library is downstairs, of course, but he found that it +didn't suit him for work, and though it's rather inconvenient having to +carry books backwards and forwards up and downstairs, we all realize how +important it is that he should be quiet, and nobody minds fetching any +book he wants." + +This was said with so much meaning that Jasmine immediately visualized +herself carrying books up and down the Deanery stairs day in day out +through the whole of the summer. + +"I told you about the difficulty he had with his typewriting, and how +anxious he was that Ethelred should learn, but the dear boy's mind was +so bent on mechanics that he was always taking the machine to pieces. +Very cleverly, I'm bound to say. But of course it occupied a good deal +of his time. So now he practises the piano again instead. People tell me +he's very musical." + +While Aunt Ellen was talking, they were walking up and down short +irregular flights of stairs and along narrow corridors, the floors of +which were billowy with age, until at last they came to a corridor at +the head of which was a large placard marked SILENCE. + +"The boys are not allowed along here," said their mother with a sigh, as +if by not being allowed along here they were being deprived of the main +pleasure of their existence. + +"Uncle Arnold does not like us to knock," she explained when they came +to the door at the end of the corridor, on which was another label DO +NOT KNOCK. She opened the door, and Jasmine was aware of a long, low, +sunny room under a groined ceiling, the gabled windows of which were +shaded with lucent green. The floor was littered with docketed papers +and heaped high with books from which cardboard slips protruded. From +the fact that the windows looked out on the Close instead of on the +garden, Jasmine divined that the Cathedral Close was considerably +quieter than the Deanery garden. Seated at a large table at the far end +of the room was her uncle, or rather what she supposed to be her uncle, +for her first impression was that somebody had left a large ostrich egg +on the table. + +"Jasmine," her aunt announced. + +The ostrich egg remained motionless; but the scratching of a pen and the +slow regular movement of a very plump white hand across a double sheet +of foolscap indicated that the room contained human life. At the end of +a minute the egg lifted itself from the table, and Jasmine found herself +confronted by a very bright pair of eyes and offered that very plump +white hand. After meeting so many tall, gaunt relatives, it was a great +pleasure to meet one who was actually shorter than herself. It was not +merely that the Dean was shorter than herself which attracted her. He +was regarding her with an expression that, had she not been assured of +his entire attention's being concentrated upon Anglo-Saxon history, she +would have supposed to be friendly, even affectionate; at any rate it +was an unusually pleasant expression for a relative. It was probably +that first impression of the Dean's head as an ostrich egg which led her +to compare him to a bird; but the longer she looked at him--and she had +to look quite a long time because her uncle said nothing at all--the +more she thought he resembled a bird. His eyes were like a bird's, +small, bright, hard, and round; he put his head on one side like a bird; +and his thin legs, encased in gaiters beneath that distinct paunch, +completed the resemblance. + +"Not finished yet, my dear?" his wife asked in the way in which one asks +an invalid if he should like to sit up for an hour or two while the sun +was shining. + +"No, my dear, not quite," the Dean replied; and his voice had a trill at +the back of it like a bird's. "About six more volumes." + +Mrs. Lightbody sighed. "The way he works! But don't forget, my dear, +that the Archdeacon is coming to dinner." + +In some odd way Jasmine divined that the Dean thought 'Damn.' She felt +like somebody in a fairy tale who is granted the gift of understanding +the speech of animals and the tongues of birds. What he actually said +was: "Delightful! Don't open the '58 port. Foljambe has no palate." + +He had put his head more than ever on one side by now, so that with one +eye he was able to read over what he had just been writing, looking at +the foolscap as a thrush contemplates a snail before he attacks it. + +"I'm afraid that we--I mean that I've disturbed your work," Jasmine +murmured. + +"Yes," agreed the Dean, and so rapidly did he sit down that his niece +was scarcely conscious of the movement until she saw the ostrich egg +lying on the table again. + +"Now I must take Jasmine to her room," proceeded Aunt Ellen, and she +managed to convey in her tone that it was the Dean who had interrupted +her and not she the Dean. He did not reply vocally; but as his hand +travelled along the paper, a short white forefinger raised itself for a +moment in acknowledgement of her remark, and then quickly drooped down +to the penholder again. + +Jasmine did not suppose that she had made any impression on her uncle, +and she felt rather sad about this, because she was sure that if he +would only give her an opportunity of being her natural self he would +find her sympathetic. She was surprised, therefore, when he and +Archdeacon Foljambe arrived in the drawing-room that evening after +dinner, to perceive her uncle making straight for herself, exactly like +a water wagtail with his funny little strut and funny little way of +putting his hands behind his coat and flirting his tail. + +"Can you type?" he asked. + +And the twinkle in his eyes seemed to endow his question with a +suggestion of daring naughtiness, so that when Jasmine told him that she +did type, she felt that she was admitting the presence of a lighter side +to her nature. + +"Come up to my study to-morrow morning about half-past nine. I'll have a +chair cleared for you by then." + +And thus it was that Jasmine found herself booked to help Uncle Arnold +every morning of the week. Yet in helping him she was not in the least +aware of being made use of; on the contrary the work had a delicious +flavour of impropriety. The machine itself was a good one, so good that +it had survived Ethelred's attempted dissection of it; and Uncle Arnold, +who when a difficult Anglo-Saxon problem required solution used to tap +upon the table with his fingers, did not seem to mind the noise the +typewriter made any more than a nuthatch on one branch might object to +the pecking of a yaffle at another. Jasmine, remembering that her aunt +had alluded in her first letter to the Dean's dislike of constantly +changing typists, asked him one day on their way down to lunch why he +had had so much trouble with his secretaries. + +"One used a particularly vicious kind of scent. Another was continually +scratching at her garter. One used to breathe over my head when she came +across to give me what she had been doing. Another thought she knew how +to punctuate. And one who had studied history at Lady Margaret's quoted +Freeman against me! My clerical position forbade me to swear at them. My +brain in consequence became surcharged with blood. So I used to work +them to death, and when one of them who refused to be worked to death +and refused to give notice ... Jasmine! this must never go beyond you +and me...." + +"No, Uncle Arnold," she promised eagerly. "But do tell me how you got +rid of her." + +"I used to put drawing pins on her chair. Not a word to a soul! My wife +would suspect me of being a papist like yourself if she found out, and +the Bishop, who now thinks I'm mad, would then be sure of it. Never let +a bishop be sure of anything. He thrives on ambiguity." + +Apart from her work with the Dean, Jasmine enjoyed herself immensely in +garden games with the three youngest boys. The Deanery garden was a +wonderful place, and to Jasmine it afforded a complete explanation of +the affection that English people had for England. She had been so +unhappy all this past year that she had come to think of Italy as having +the monopoly of earth's beauty. But this garden was as beautiful as +anything in Italy, this garden with wide green lawns, bird-haunted when +she looked out of her window in the lucid air of the morning, +bird-haunted when at dusk she would gaze at them from the candle-lit +dining-room. The shrubberies here were glossy and thick, not at all like +the shrubbery at Rouncivell Lodge. A high wall bright with snapdragon +bounded the garden on the side of the Cathedral, and beyond it loomed +the south transept and a grove of mighty elms. There was a lake in +which floated half a dozen swans that puffed themselves out with esteem +of their own white grace, while in the water they regarded those +mirrored images of themselves, the high-sailing clouds of summer, or +perhaps more proudly their own splendid ghosts. There was an enclosed +garden where fat vegetables were girdled with familiar flowers, blue and +yellow and red, an aromatic garden loud with bees. Finally there was an +ancient tower, the resort of owls and bats, which the Dean sometimes +spoke of restoring. But he never did; and the mouldering traceries, the +lattices long empty of glass, and the worm-eaten corbels of oak grey +with age went on decaying all that fine July. It would have been a pity +to restore the tower, Jasmine thought, and replace with sharp modern +edges that dim and immaterial building in its glade of larches. The dead +lower branches of the trees wove a mist for the paths, on the pallid +grass of which grew clusters of orange and vermilion toadstools; it +would be a pity to intrude on such a place with the tramp of restoring +workmen. + +Jasmine's zest in the middle ages, her absorption in pre-Norman days, +her surrender to the essential England were at first faintly troubled by +having to attend mass at a little Catholic mission chapel built of +corrugated iron. But from being pestered by Aunt Ellen to compare the +facilities for worship in Silchester Cathedral with those in the church +of the Immaculate Conception, Bog Lane, she began to wonder if the +externals of history could effect as much as she had supposed. If the +Cathedral was spacious, the mind of Aunt Ellen was not; if the church of +the Immaculate Conception was tawdry ... but why make comparisons? She +had never noticed in Sirene how ugly sham flowers looked upon the altar; +when she made this discovery in Silchester, she was instantly ashamed +of herself; and when she looked again, it seemed as if the gilt daisies +in their tarnished vases were alive, as if they were nosegays gathered +in Italy. If the church of the Immaculate Conception, Bog Lane, was +hideous, what about the English church at Sirene? That was a poky enough +affair. But again, why make comparisons? There were rich relatives and +poor relations in churches just as much as in everything else. + +Jasmine was fighting loyally against her inclination to criticize, when +one blazing day at the end of July the Dean proposed a visit to the +remains of Roman Silchester, at which his three sons expressed horror +and dismay. + +"Why, what's the matter with Old Silchester?" she asked. + +"Oh, it's a most stinking bore! A most frightful fag!" groaned Edred. + +"Father makes us sweat ourselves to death digging in the sun," croaked +Edwy. + +"And last time when I chivied a Holly Blue, or it may have been only a +Chalk Hill Blue, he cursed me like anything," lamented Ethelred. + +The boys groaned again in unison. + +"There's nothing to see." + +"There's nothing to do." + +"It's absolutely foul." + +"Father jaws all the time about history, which I hate," said Edred. "I +say, can't you put him off taking us?" + +But Jasmine declared that they were horribly unappreciative, and +declined to intervene. + +"Well, anyway," said Ethelred hopefully, "Lord George Sanger's Circus is +coming the second week in August." + +The thought of that sustained the boys to face a long summer's day among +the ruins of the ancient city. + +In the end the day was delightful. The Dean preferred his niece as a +listener to his sons, and as Mrs. Lightbody had been unable to come, he +was not driven by her irritating crusade on behalf of the boys' +amusement to insisting upon their attention. The result was that they +vanished soon after lunch to hunt butterflies, while the Dean expounded +his theory of Old Silchester. Jasmine sat back enjoying the perfume of +hot grass, the murmurous air, the gentle fluting of a faint wind, while +the Dean proved conclusively that the Saxon invasion utterly swept away +every trace of Roman civilization in Britain. The Dean's shadow while he +wandered backward and forward among the scanty remains grew longer, and +beneath his exposition the Roman Empire, so far as its effect on England +was concerned, went down like the sun. Jasmine had been asleep, and she +woke up suddenly in the fresh airs of sunset. Half a mile away the boys +were coming back over the expanse of grey-green grass to display their +captures. + +"And how pathetic it is," the Dean was saying, "to think of this outpost +of a mighty empire succumbing so easily to those invaders from over the +German ocean. The last time they excavated here at all systematically, +they turned over some of the rubbish heaps of the camp. Curiously enough +they actually found the skins of the nutty portion of the pine-cone from +_Pinus Pinea_, which is eaten to this day in southern Italy." + +"_Pinocchi!_" cried Jasmine, leaping to her feet in excitement. + +"Yes, _pinocchi_," the Dean confirmed. "The soldiers must have had +packets of them sent from Rome by their sweethearts and wives and +mothers. And that is one more proof that they remained strangers, +whereas the Saxons bred themselves into the soul of the country." + +While they jogged back in the waggonette through the twilight, Jasmine +dreamed of those dead Roman soldiers, and herself longed for freshly +roasted _pinocchi_. The boys jabbered about butterflies. The Dean went +to sleep. + +"I'm enjoying myself here comparatively," said Jasmine to herself that +night. "But only comparatively. I still love Italy best." + +But she was enjoying herself, and she hoped that she should not have to +leave Silchester yet awhile. + + + + +_Chapter Eight_ + + +Edward had written from Cambridge at the end of the term to say that his +friend Lord Gresham was urging him to explore Brittany in an extended +walking tour, and he had wondered in postscript if it would seem very +rude should he not arrive home until the beginning of August; in view of +the fact that the walking tour was to be in the company of Lord Gresham, +his mother had been positive that it would be much more rude if he did +arrive home, and she had telegraphed to him accordingly. Edmund and +Edgar came home from Marlborough at the end of July. It was Edmund's +last term at school, and he was going up to Cambridge in October with an +exhibition at Pembroke and a reputation as a good man in the scrimmage. +Edgar, who was seventeen, had another year of school before him. Jasmine +knew from the youngest boys that 'Monday' and 'Tuesday' in their day had +terrorized the inhabitants of Silchester much more ruthlessly and +extensively than their juniors. Golf, however, had of late attracted +their superfluous energy, and they spent the first fortnight of their +holidays in trying to make what they described as a 'sporting' four-hole +course in the Deanery garden. From their point of view the epithet was a +happy one, for during the first match they broke a window of the +dining-room and several cucumber frames, while in searching for lost +balls they spoiled the gardener's chance of a prize at the horticultural +show that year. The younger boys, jealous of such competent destruction, +filled a ginger-beer bottle with gunpowder and blew a hole in the bottom +of the lake. Jasmine, who was still working with her uncle, only heard +of these events as nuns hear a vague rumour of the outside world. The +proofs of the fifth volume were absorbing the Dean's attention; and even +when Edred shot a guinea-pig belonging to the Senior Canon's youngest +daughter he declined to interfere, much to the satisfaction of his wife, +who considered that the Senior Canon should be ashamed to own a daughter +young enough to take an interest in guinea-pigs. In fact it was not +until a model aeroplane, subscribed for unitedly by the three youngest +boys and flown by Ethelred from the ancient oak in the middle of the +Close, maintained a steady course in the direction of the Dean's window, +and to his sons' pride and pleasure flew right in to land on his table, +scatter his notes with the propeller, and upset the ink over his +manuscript, that he was moved to direct action. He then banished them to +work in an allotment garden attached to the Deanery, where on the +outskirts of Silchester for six hours a day they gathered what their +father called the fruits of a chastened spirit. The punishment was +ingenious and severe, because their enemy the head gardener benefited +directly by their labour, and because the allotment afforded no kind of +diversion except futile attempts to hit with catapults the bending forms +of labourers out of range in the surrounding allotments. + +The Dean worked harder than ever when his youngest sons were removed; +and Jasmine, finding that she was being useful enough to be able to +shake off the thought that she was an infliction, and that there was no +hint of a wish for her departure from the Deanery, was anxious to +prevent anything's happening to upset what so far were the jolliest +weeks she had passed since she left Sirene. Although she had thought a +certain amount about Harry Vibart, she had not allowed herself to grow +sentimental over him, and after this sojourn at the Deanery, she had +quite convinced herself that it would be wiser not to see him again. She +had, of course, no reason to suppose that he wanted to see her again; at +the same time she had had no reason to suppose as much at Rouncivell +Lodge before he suddenly turned up with such disastrous results. His +interruption had not mattered so much there, because she was only +negatively happy at the time. Here she was something like positively +happy, and it seemed from every point of view prudent to write him a +letter and as sympathetically as possible to ask him not to disturb the +present situation. She wondered whether if she sent it to him in the +care of his uncle at Spaborough it would ultimately reach him. By a +series of roundabout questions she arrived at the discovery that by +looking up Sir John Vibart in Burke she could ascertain his address. +When she had found that Sir John Vibart lived at Whiteladies, near Long +Escombe in the North Riding of Yorkshire, she devoted herself to the +composition of the following letter:-- + + The Deanery, + + Silchester, + + _August 6th._ + + _Dear Harry,_ + +She had been tempted to go back to _Mr. Vibart_, but inasmuch as she was +writing to ask him not to see her again, the formal address seemed to +lend a gratuitous and unnecessary coldness to her request, and even to +give him the idea that she was offended with him. + +_I am staying down here with my uncle the Dean, who is very nice and is +writing a history of England before the Norman Conquest. I went with +him to see the remains of the Roman city of something or other, a very +long name, but it is quite near here, and fancy, in the rubbish heaps of +the old Roman camp, they have actually found the skins--husks, I +mean--of pinocchi. In case you do not know what a pinocchio is, I must +tell you that they are the nutty part of the pinecombs from the big +umbrella pines that grow all round Naples and Rome. It made tears come +into my eyes to think of those Roman soldiers having those boxes of +pinocchi sent to them by their mothers and friends all the way to +England._ + +She had written _sweethearts_ at the first draft, but the word looked +wrong somehow in a letter that was meant to be discouraging. + + _I work quite hard at typewriting, and this is a very good machine. + The only thing is that it won't do dipthongs, which is a pity, + because Uncle Arnold gets very angry if Saxon names are not spelt + with dipthongs. There are six cousins here who are called after the + six boy kings. Uncle Arnold calls them Eadward, Eadmund, Eadgar, + Eadwig, Ædred and Æthelred; but other people call them Eddy, + Monday, Tuesday, Why, Because, and Ethel. Edward, who is the + eldest, I haven't seen yet. He is at Cambridge. I hope you are + enjoying yourself wherever you are, and that you haven't been + taking any more people's walking-sticks!_ + + _Kindest regards,_ + + _Yours sincerely,_ + + _Jasmine Grant._ + + _P.S. I think it would be better if you didn't come down here and + try to see me._ + +Jasmine was very proud of this postscript; it did not strike her that +the bee's sting is in its tail. She would have been astonished if +anybody had told her that it was unkind to end up with such an +afterthought, did she seriously mean to forbid Harry Vibart to see her +again. And she would have been still more astonished and a good deal +horrified if anybody had suggested that the prohibition put like that +might actually have the air of an invitation, should the recipient of +the letter choose to regard it cynically. + +However, she did not receive so much as a bare acknowledgment of her +letter, and she convinced herself, perhaps a little regretfully, that +Harry Vibart, offended by her request, had decided not to bother any +more about her. + +Meanwhile Edward had arrived. Edward was one of those young men of whom +it can be postulated immediately that he could never have been called +anything else except Edward. He was a tall and awkward, an extremely +industrious, a clever and an immensely conceited young man, who hid the +natural gloom established by years of nervous dyspepsia, or more bluntly +by chronic indigestion, under a pretentious solemnity of manner. His +arrival at Silchester coincided with a change of weather, and the rainy +days that attended in his wake created in Jasmine's mind an impression +that he was even more of a wet blanket than she might otherwise have +thought. For the first few days he hung about the rooms like a low +cloud, telling long stories about his tour in Brittany with Lord +Gresham, stories that for the most part were about taking the wrong road +and putting up at the wrong inn. When he had bored his family so +successfully that every member of it had reached the point of regarding +life from the standpoint of a nervous dyspeptic, he grew more cheerful +and aired his latest discoveries in modern literature. Then he decided +to keep a journal, with the intention, it was understood, of +immortalizing his spleen. Like most people who keep journals, he was +usually a day or two in arrears, and when people saw him pompously +entering the room with a notebook under his arm, they used to hasten +anywhere to escape being asked what he had done on Thursday morning +between eleven and one. At last the sun appeared again, and Edward, +looking at Jasmine--by the intensity of his regard it might have been +the first time he had seen her--divined, as if the sun had possessed the +power of X-rays, that she lacked education. Edward, whose success in +life had been the success of his education, considered that he owed it +to his cousin to remedy her deficiencies; keeping in view his principle +of never offering to give something for nothing, he suggested that, in +exchange for his teaching her Latin, she should teach him Italian. +Jasmine would have willingly taught him Italian without the advantage of +learning Latin; but she did not wish to appear ungracious, and the +bargain was made. Edward advanced much more rapidly in Italian than she +advanced in Latin, partly because he was better accustomed to study than +she was, and partly because of the four hours a day they devoted to +mutual instruction, three and a half hours were devoted to Italian and +only half an hour to Latin. The result of this was that by the end of +September he was reading Petrarch with fluency, while she had only +reached the first conjugation of verbs and the second declension of +nouns. + +"You're very slow," Edward reproved her. "I can't understand why. It +ought to be just as easy for you to learn Latin as it is for me to learn +Italian. It's absolutely useless to go on to the third declension until +you remember the genitive plural of _dominus_. _Dominorum_, not +_dominurum_." + +"I said _dominorum_." + +"Yes, but you mustn't pronounce it like Italian." + +"I'm not," Jasmine argued. "I think the trouble is that I've got a +slight Neapolitan accent, and you think I'm saying _urum_ when I'm +really saying _orum_. You forget that I've got to unlearn my +pronunciation to suit yours." + +"Well, that applies equally to me," Edward argued. + +The result of these difficulties was that Edward gave up trying to teach +Jasmine Latin and confined himself entirely to learning Italian from +her. About this time he read somewhere that the only way to master a +language was to fall in love with somebody who speaks it. Such an +observation struck him as a useful tip, in the same way as when he was +at school he would remember the useful tip: + + _Tolle me, mi, mu, mis,_ + _Si declinare domus vis._ + +He therefore proceeded to fall in love with Jasmine in the same earnest +acquisitive way in which he would have proceeded to buy a highly +recommended new type of notebook. Edward's notion of falling in love was +that he should be able to introduce into an ordinary conversation +phrases that otherwise and outside his study of Petrarch would have +sounded extravagant. He made up his mind that if Jasmine showed the +least sign of taking him seriously--and he realized that he had to bear +in mind that cousins are marriageable--he would explain that it was +merely practice. At the same time he found her personable, even +charming, and if without involving himself or committing himself too far +he could for the rest of the summer establish between himself and her a +mildly sentimental relationship, which at the same time would be of +great benefit to his Italian, he should be able to go up to Cambridge +next term with the satisfactory thought that during the Long Vacation he +had improved his French, strengthened his friendship with Lord Gresham, +effected an excellent beginning with Italian, amused himself +incidentally, and made sufficient progress with his reading for the +first part of the Classical Tripos not to feel that he had neglected the +main current of his academic career. + +Unfortunately for Edward's plans he found that Jasmine was inclined to +laugh at him when in the middle of rehearsing a dialogue from the +_Italian Traveller's Vade Mecum_ between himself and a laundress he +indulged in Petrarchan apostrophes. Now Edward was not inclined to +laughter either at his own expense or at the expense of life in general, +because his conception of the universe only allowed laughter to depend +upon minor mistakes in behaviour or scansion. Therefore in order to cure +Jasmine of her frivolity he was driven into being more serious and less +academic than he had intended. In other words, Edward, even if he was +already a perfectly formed prig, was not yet twenty-one, and to put the +matter shortly, he really did fall in love with Jasmine; so much so +indeed that he ceased to make love to her in Italian and began to make +love to her in English. Jasmine, apprehensive of all the trouble such a +state of affairs would stir up and knowing what an additional grievance +it would create against her in the minds of her relatives, begged him +not to be foolish. The more she begged him not to be foolish, the more +foolish Edward became, so foolish indeed that he began to let his +infatuation be suspected by his brothers, the result of which was that +he lost the authority hitherto maintained for him by his attitude of +discouraging gloom. In a weak moment he even allowed himself to bribe +Ethelred to leave him alone with Jasmine in the dusky garden one evening +after dinner, and Ethelred, realizing that Edwy and Edred would soon +discover for themselves such a source of profit from their eldest +brother, it might be to his own disadvantage, resolved to enter into a +formal compact of blackmail with both of them. + +Thenceforth Edward found himself being gradually deprived of various +little possessions that however valueless in themselves had for him the +sentimental importance he attached to everything connected with himself. +In order to secure twilit walks with his cousin that she, poor girl, +with one eye on a jealous mother, did her best to avoid, Edward parted +with his choicest cricket bat, presented for the highest score in a +junior match in the days before dyspepsia cramped his style; with a +collection of birds' eggs made at the age of fourteen; in fact with +everything that, should he die now, would have led anybody to suppose +that he was once human. Finally he was reduced to forking out small sums +of money to purchase the good will of his three youngest brothers. Their +demands grew more exorbitant, and Edward, who had already decided to +become a Government servant after that triumphant university career +which was to crown his triumphant school career, tried to be firm. +Indeed he smacked Edwy's head, and when he had done so felt that he had +been firm. Unfortunately it was the worst moment he could have chosen to +be firm--yes, he was certainly intended to be a Government +servant--because the blackmailers had something up their sleeves, and of +what that was Jasmine received the first intimation in the shape of a +letter from Edwy. + + _Dear Jasmine,_ + + _If you will meet the undersigned by the blasted elm at the corner + of the heath to-night at half-past eight, you will hear of + something to your advantage. I mean the elm that was struck by + lightening last spring at the corner of the paddock. But in future + I shall not call it the paddock. The enclosed token will tell you + what._ + + _(signed)_ + + _A friend and well-wisher._ + +The enclosed token was a lock of hair tied up with the end of a +bootlace. Jasmine supposed that the three youngest cousins had +discovered a new kind of game in the pleasure and excitement of which +they wished her to share; glad of an excuse to escape Edward's +attentions after dinner, she presented herself at the blasted elm and +tried to appear as mysterious as the requirements of the game demanded. + +She had not been waiting more than a minute when three cloaked figures +stealthily approached the trysting-place. They were all wearing what +Jasmine hoped were only discarded hats of the Dean, and when they drew +nearer she perceived that they were also wearing gaiters of the Dean. +She wondered if the Dean had so many gaiters to spare for his sons' +pranks, and she began to fear that some of his present wardrobe had been +requisitioned. Edwy's voice, in trying to assume the appropriate bass of +a conspirator, ran up to a high treble at the third word he uttered, +which set his brothers off laughing so unrestrainedly that in order to +conceal such an intrusion of their own modern personalities, they had to +pommel each other until Edwy at last rescued his voice from the heights +and called upon Jasmine to follow his lead. She, still supposing that +some game of buried treasure or capture by brigands was afoot followed +with appropriate caution along the winding paths of the shrubbery to +that favourite haunt of mystery, the ruined tower. + +"Fair maiden," the eldest conspirator growled, "your betrothed awaitest +you within." + +"You've surely never persuaded Edward to hide himself up there?" she +laughed. + +"Edward avaunt!" he hissed. "The doom of Edward is sealed." + +"Sealed!" echoed Edred, more successfully hoarse than his brother. + +Ethelred was unable to take up his cue, being choked by laughter. + +"I say, do you think she ought to climb up by the rope-ladder?" Edred +asked, falling back into his ordinary voice for the moment. + +"Shut up, you ass," replied Edwy in the same commonplace accents. +"Maiden," he continued in a bass that was now truly diabolic, "the +ladder of knotted sheets for thy fell purpose awaitest thee." + +"A terribly appropriate adjective," Jasmine observed with a smile. "I'm +not really to climb up that, am I?" + +"No," said Edwy reluctantly. "An thou wilt, thou cannest enter by the +door." + +"Poor Edward!" murmured Jasmine. "How he must be hating this!" + +"Foolish maiden," Edwy reproached her. "It is not Edward who you +seekest, but one more near, no, I mean more dear, but one more dear to +thee. My trusty followers and me will watch without whilst thou speaketh +with him." + +The air of Bartelmytide was moist and chill, and Jasmine, with +regretful thoughts of the Deanery fires which had just begun, hurried +into the tower to finish off her part of the performance. She was not to +be let off until she had mounted to the upper room, and though in the +darkness the ladder felt more than usually wobbly and the stones on +either side more than usually covered with cobwebs, she went boldly on, +and had no sooner reached the upper room than she was aware that there +was somebody there, somebody who did not greet her with the flash of a +dark lantern, but with the flicker of a cigar-lighter. + +"Well, this is a rum way to meet you again," Harry Vibart exclaimed +genially. + +"But...." Jasmine stammered, "I thought I told you not to come down +here." + +Vibart was too tactful to say that he had supposed the forbidding +postscript was at least a suggestion if not an invitation that he should +come down, and looking as suitably penitent as he could by the wavering +beams of the cigar-lighter, he explained that he had only done so with +great caution, and added a hope that she would forgive him. + +"Yes, but supposing my uncle and aunt find out that you have arranged to +meet me like this?" + +"Oh, I didn't arrange to meet you like this," Vibart explained. "Those +three young sportsmen downstairs arranged that. The only thing I did was +to make enquiries beforehand where you were living, and somehow they got +it into their heads--of course you'll think it ridiculous, I know--but +... well, to put it shortly, they imagined ... that I was ... rather +keen on you." + +"I suppose you realize that I am very angry indeed?" said Jasmine. + +"Oh yes, I realize that," Vibart admitted. "I can see you're very angry. +But don't you think that to-morrow I might call in the ordinary way? +That's the main object of this interview. I've really rather enjoyed +sitting up here thinking about you. I should have enjoyed it even more +if something that was either a small bat or a large spider hadn't fallen +on my head. But what about to-morrow?" + +"Oh no, please," she expostulated. "No, no, no, you really mustn't. I'm +quite enjoying myself here. I'm quite happy, and I know that if you +arrive on the scene, something's bound to happen to make everything go +wrong." + +"That's very discouraging of you." + +"I don't mean to be discouraging." + +"You may not mean to be, but you certainly are. Look here, Jasmine, I've +been thinking a tremendous lot lately about you, and if you'll risk it, +I'll risk it." + +"Risk what?" + +"Well, you see ... confound this patent lighter; it's gone out." + +The upper room of the tower was in complete darkness, and Jasmine was +inclined to hope that it would remain in darkness; she felt that even +the mild illumination of the cigar-lighter gave too intimate a +revelation of her countenance for any promise to be made. Harry was +gaining time for his reply by devoting himself to the cigar-lighter, and +Jasmine felt that if this tension was continued, she should presently +begin to emit white sparks herself. + +"Risk what?" she repeated. + +"Risk being cut off by my uncle and not having a penny to bless +ourselves with, and getting married on what I made this August. I've had +a topping August. I'm £84 10s. up on the bookies. And though of course +it's not much for two, it would give us enough for an economical +honeymoon, and I've got a friend who would give me a job in a teak +forest in Burmah. It's a very useful wood, you know. They make boats of +it and the better kind of packing-cases." + +"Stop! Stop!" she exclaimed. + +"What's the matter? Have you got a spider on you? Show me where it is +and I'll brush it off. I'm frightfully afraid of spiders, but I'm so +fond of you, you darling little girl, that I'll...." + +"Oh, you mustn't call me that," Jasmine interrupted. + +"Don't you like being called a darling little girl?" he asked with a +sigh of relief. "Well, I promise you I won't ever call you that again. I +assure you that it took a lot to work myself up to the scratch and get +off that term of endearment. But, Jasmine, I love you. Look here, murmur +something pleasant for goodness' sake. I'm feeling an awful ass now I've +said it." + +But Jasmine could not murmur anything at all. By what she had read of +love and of the way people declared their love, she would have supposed +that Harry Vibart was making fun of her. And yet something in the tone +of his voice forbade her to think that. Moreover, the way her own heart +was beating prevented her wanting to think that. So she stayed silent, +while he occupied himself with the cigar-lighter in case her eyes should +tell him what her tongue refused to speak. He managed at last to kindle +the wick, and holding the little instrument of revelation above his head +so that from the vastness of the gloom around he could conjure her +beloved countenance, he stood waiting for the answer. In the few seconds +that had fluttered past, Jasmine felt that she had grown up, and now +when she looked at the freckled young man, so obviously fearful of +having made a fool of himself, she felt several years older than he, so +much older that she was able to speak to him with what it seemed was a +weight of worldly knowledge behind her. + +"I'm afraid you've been rather impetuous," she said austerely. "I could +never dream of asking you to give up anything on my account." Jasmine +gained eloquence from not meaning a word of what she said, and unaware +that she was trying to persuade herself rather than Harry of the +imprudence of his project, she grew more eloquent with every word she +uttered. "You must remember that I have not a penny in the world, and +that you cannot afford to marry a girl without a dowry. I know that in +England men do marry even quite ordinary girls without a dowry, but I +should never feel happy if I were married like that." + +"What on earth have dowries got to do with being in love? Do you love +me? Do you think you could get to love me?" + +"You've no right to ask me that," said Jasmine, "unless you are able to +marry me." + +"Well, I told you I was £84 10s. up on the bookies this August. I should +have proposed in July, but I had rather a rotten Goodwood, and...." + +"Yes, but you can't afford a wife with only that. Why, even if my uncle +went on allowing me £10 a quarter...." + +"I told you there was a risk. I asked you if you would risk it," he +interrupted in an aggrieved voice. "Anyway, the point I want to get at +is this: do you or do you not care for me?" + +"I like you very much," Jasmine admitted politely. + +"Yes, well, that sounds rather as if I was a mutton chop. Look here, you +know, you're driving me into making a scene. When I first saw you at +York, I fell in love with you. I didn't mean to tell you that, because +it sounds ridiculous. But I did. Then when you were such a little sport +on that mackerel hunt, I loved you more than ever. And then you were +whisked off. I felt desperate, and I tried to kill my love. Please don't +laugh. I know it's almost impossible not to laugh if a chap talks like +this, and I should have laughed myself a year ago. But do you realize +that you've driven me into reading books? That's a pretty desperate +state of affairs. I can't pass a railway book-stall now without buying +armfuls of the most atrocious rot. And the worse it is, the more I enjoy +it. About fifty darlings a page is my style now. Where was I? Oh yes, I +tried to kill my love. You know, playing golf, and all that sort of +thing. But as soon as I heard where you were, I came to see you. Well, +it was bad luck to drop that brick over the old boy's malacca, and I +felt desperate. And then when I got your letter on top of the worst +Goodwood anybody ever had, I said to myself that, unless I was fifty +pounds up by the end of August, I'd go out to the Colonies and work +myself to death. Well, I made more than that fifty pounds, and here I +am. I'd got a lot of jolly things all ready to say to you, but now I'm +here I can't say anything. Jasmine, I'm as keen as mustard on you. +There!" + +He had spoken with such vehemence that the cigar-lighter had long ago +been puffed out; in the darkness Jasmine felt her hand grasped. + +"What a topping little hand," he murmured. "It's as soft as a puppy's +paw. Topping!" + +Jasmine had an impulse to let herself sigh out her happiness upon his +shoulder; she knew somehow that his arms were open, and that the touch +of his tweeds would be as refreshing to her tired spirit as if she were +to fling herself into the sunburnt scented grass of a remote meadow; she +could not summon to her aid a single argument against letting herself +be folded in his embrace. Then, just as she was surrendering to the +moment, a clod of earth was flung through the ruined oriel of the tower, +and from down below came hoarse cries of "Cavé! Cavé! Edward's coming +down the path! You'd better bunk!" + +"What's up?" asked Vibart, making fresh efforts to kindle his +cigar-lighter. "Who's Edward?" + +"Oh, I knew this would happen! I knew this would happen!" Jasmine +exclaimed distractedly. "I told you not to come down here." + +"But who's Edward?" Vibart persisted. + +"It's my cousin. He's dreadfully in earnest, and he thinks he's in love +with me." + +"Well, I'm not particularly afraid of Edward; but if it's the fashion +here to be afraid of him, I'll pretend to be afraid of him too, and the +best way of showing our terror is to sit here holding each other's hands +until the dangerous fellow passes on. The closer we keep together, the +less frightened we shall be." + +"It's nothing to joke about," she said. "He's evidently suspicious about +something, or he would never have come out into the garden to look for +me in the tower." + +Jasmine was sure that the conspirators, in their desire for a more +dramatic climax than they might otherwise have secured, had conveyed a +mysterious warning to Edward, who, when she was nowhere to be found in +the house had, preserving his own dignity as far as possible, set out +upon a voyage of discovery. + +Whatever the conspirators had done in the way of precipitating this +climax, they were now doing their best to deflect Edward from the path. +The methods they chose, however, were not sufficiently subtle, and they +only had the effect of putting their eldest brother in a very bad +temper, as was evident from the threats that were audible outside. + +"Look here, young Edred, I'll give you the biggest thrashing you ever +had in your life if you fling any more of those toadstools at me. All +right, Edwy, I can recognize you, and you'll find out when you go +indoors again that you can't wear the pater's gaiters without trouble. +Where's Jasmine?" + +And then, like the croak of a night-bird, Edwy's response was heard. + +"Recreant knight, the maiden whom thou seekest is safe from thy lustful +arm. Beware of advancing another step." + +"You young swine, I'll give you the biggest licking you ever had in your +life!" retorted Edward, still advancing in the direction of the door. + +"Look here," Vibart whispered to Jasmine, "I think I ought to go out and +help those sportsmen." + +At this moment Ethelred, who had retreated into the tower, came up the +ladder and told them not to worry, because he had invented something +that was going to put Edward out of action the moment he attempted to +advance beyond the first rung. + +"No, please, Ethelred," Jasmine begged. "Don't make matters worse than +they are." + +"No, really it's all right, I swear," Ethelred promised. "Don't get +excited. And if you want to elope to-night, Edwy's made all the +necessary arrangements. He's got the ladder hidden by the stable, and +the pony's harnessed, and if you're pursued, he's going to put people +off the scent by saying the house is on fire; or he may be trying to set +it on fire really, I can't remember; and he's only told Wilson"--Wilson +was one of the under-gardeners--"so you needn't be in a funk of being +found out. And look here," he added to Vibart, "you won't forget that +man-lifting kite, will you? Because Edwy's awfully keen to go up with +it." + +"That's all right," Vibart promised. "You stave off Edward, and I'll +send you a kite that will lift an elephant." + +"Don't encourage him," said Jasmine. "You don't understand how dreadful +all this is going to be for me." + +By this time Edward, undeterred by the missiles of Edwy or Edred, had +reached the foot of the ladder, and was asking Jasmine in that academic +voice she so much disliked if she was in the tower. + +"If those young brutes have been playing practical jokes on you, +_carissima_, just let me know and I'll give them a lesson they won't +forget." + +"Will you, you stinking pig?" muttered Ethelred, bending over and +releasing a heavy weight on his brother's head. + +"Heavens! What have you done?" Jasmine cried in apprehension. + +"It's all right. It's only a bag of flour," Ethelred explained. "And I +think it hit him absolutely plum." + +However it hit Edward, it had the effect of rousing him to fury; without +pausing to consider that the steps of the ladder were broken and that +the floor of the tower contained several holes and that his sense of +direction was considerably impeded by the flour in his eyes, he came +charging up the ladder. Just as he reached the top there was a crack of +giving wood, followed by a crash, a cry, a thud, and several groans. + +"Great Scott! He's really damaged himself this time," said Vibart. + +"I say, I didn't work that," Ethelred protested a little tremulously. + +Edred and Edwy, who had followed in their brother's wake, were calling +up that he had broken his leg. Vibart's cigar-lighter refused to shed +even a momentary flicker on the scene, and there was nothing for it but +to send one of the boys below back to the house for help. Jasmine begged +Harry Vibart to escape if he could, but when he tried the floor with a +view to letting himself down, the rotten planking began to break off, so +that he had to draw back lest the whole floor of the room should +collapse and precipitate himself and Jasmine upon the prostrate and +groaning form of Edward underneath. He then attempted in response to +Jasmine's entreaties to escape from the oriel window, but no sooner had +he put himself into a position to make the drop than she begged him with +equal urgency to come back. + +"You might break your leg too, and it would be so dreadfully +embarrassing to have you and Edward both in bed. My aunt would hate +looking after you, and I should never be allowed to look after you." + +"Are you sure of that?" he asked. + +"Sure, sure. But why do you ask?" + +"Because, if I thought there was a chance of getting you as my nurse, +I'd break every bone in my body with the greatest pleasure." + +The only one who escaped without damage moral or physical from that +evening was Ethelred. When the Dean and Mrs. Lightbody with Edgar and +Edmund, gardeners and lanterns and ladders, and an improvised stretcher, +arrived at the tower, Ethelred managed somehow to get back to the house +unperceived, and was able to claim, relying upon the loyalty of his +fellow-conspirators, that he had gone to bed immediately after dinner +with a bad headache. The rest of the family suffered in various degrees. +Edwy suffered from being caught wearing his father's best gaiters, Edred +from being caught wearing his father's best hat. The Dean suffered in +his character as owner of the gaiters and the hat. Mrs. Lightbody +suffered in her deepest feelings as a mother, as the wife of the Dean of +Silchester, and as an aunt. Harry Vibart suffered from the ridiculous +situation in which he found himself, and from the unpleasant situation +in which his imprudence had placed Jasmine. Edward suffered from a +broken leg, but derived some pleasure from the effort he had made to be +noble. His nobility of behaviour consisted in abstaining from any +comment on Vibart's presence in the tower, and the consciousness of his +nobility was so sharp that the pain of his fractured limb was dull in +comparison. Yet Jasmine was so unreasonable as to think him lacking in +generosity because he did not explain away Vibart's presence, explain +away his own accident, explain away the whole situation, in fact. She +even blamed him for what had occurred, ascribing the disaster to his +vanity in supposing that she would send him a message by the boys to +meet her in the tower. But then Jasmine had suffered most of anybody; +and it was she who was to discover that Aunt May at her worst was +angelic beside Aunt Ellen. + +"I'm bound to say, Jasmine, that I did not imagine the existence of such +depravity. A servant would not behave like that. And what is so +lamentable is that the boys knew that you were up in the tower with that +young man. It seems to me almost criminal to put such ideas into their +little heads. I've been so strict with them. I've even wondered +sometimes if I could let them read the Bible to themselves. Your poor +uncle has aged twenty years in the last twenty-four hours." + +What really had happened to Uncle Arnold was a bad cold from going out +in his slippers without a hat. But Aunt Ellen was enjoying herself too +much for accuracy. She was in the raptures of a grand improvisation. +Presently her fancy soared; she indulged in Gothic similes. + +"It was like a witches' sabbath. And poor Edward! Not a word has he said +in blame of you. He lies there as patient as a martyr. And then I +suppose you'll go off this afternoon and confess to your priest down in +Bog Lane, and come back under the impression that you're as white as +driven snow. To me such a pretence of religion is disgusting." + +"Perhaps you don't realize, Aunt Ellen," said Jasmine, "that Edward has +been making love to me for weeks, and that I've had to laugh at him to +prevent his doing something silly." + +"What do you mean, doing something silly, you wicked and vulgar girl? I +cannot think where you got such a mind. A servant would not get such +disgusting ideas into her head. I suppose we must put it down to your +mother." + +"Stop!" said Jasmine, white with anger. "Stop, will you? Or I shall +throw this inkpot at you." And when Aunt Ellen did stop, she was half +sorry, because she was hating her so much that she was really wanting to +throw the inkpot at her. However, she put it back on the table, rushed +from her aunt's presence up to her own room, where, after weeping for an +hour, she sat down and wrote to Harry Vibart. + +_Dear Mr. Vibart,_ + + _I hope you realize by now that you acted abominably in coming down + here after what I said in my letter. I never want to see you + again. Please understand that I mean it this time. However, I'm + going back to Italy almost at once where people know how to behave + themselves. I hate England. I've been miserable here, and you've + made me more miserable than anybody._ + +Then she signed herself _Jasmine Grant_ and fiercely blotted him out of +her life. + + + + +_Chapter Nine_ + + +After the scene with her aunt, Jasmine longed to leave the Deanery at +once, for she suffered torments of humiliation in having to stay on +there in a disgrace that was being published all over Silchester. The +Dean himself was kind, and perhaps it was because he understood the +difficulty of her position that he asked her to come and work with him. +But such an easy way out for Jasmine did not please his wife, who was +continually coming up to the study and worrying him with her fears about +the progress of Edward's fracture in order to impress both him and +Jasmine with their heartless conduct in thus working away regardless of +the martyr downstairs. The Dean was a kind-hearted man, but he +considered his work on pre-Norman Britain the most important thing in +life; finding it impossible to proceed under the stress of these +continual interruptions, he presently announced that he must go to +Oxford for a week or two and do some work in the Bodleian. + +As soon as he had gone, Aunt Ellen's treatment of her niece became +something like a persecution. She forbade the youngest boys to play with +her; she took a delight in making the most cruel remarks to her before +Edmund and Edgar; she was rude to her in front of the servants. Jasmine +was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and she was by now so +passionately anxious to leave Silchester that she was actually on the +verge of writing to Aunt May to ask if she could not come back to +London. She did write to Aunt Cuckoo, who wrote back a pleasant little +letter iced over with conventional expressions of affection like the +pink mottoes on a white birthday cake. She was sorry to hear that +Jasmine was unable to appreciate Aunt Ellen. She realized that the +atmosphere in the higher circles of the Church of England was +unsympathetic, _but_ Baboose had shown symptoms of croup. She hoped that +later in the autumn Jasmine could come and spend a week or two at The +Cedars, _but_ just now it was advisable to keep Baboose at Torquay. +Uncle Eneas sent his love, _but_ he was not very well, and Jasmine would +understand how difficult it was to fit an extra person in seaside +lodgings. She was sorry that Jasmine was unhappy, "_but_ our wonderful +religion will console you better than my poor self," she wound up. + +"But! But!" Jasmine cried aloud. "Butter would be the right word." + +Such was the state of affairs at the Deanery when one morning about a +fortnight after Edward broke his leg, Cherrill the butler announced a +visitor to see Jasmine. After what she had suffered from that ill-timed +visit of Harry Vibart, her heart sank, particularly as Cherrill did not +announce the visitor in a way that would have led anybody to suppose +that his news would be welcome. + +"For me?" Jasmine repeated. "Are you sure?" + +"Yes, miss," said Cherrill firmly. "This, er...." he hesitated for a +moment, "...elderly person wishes to speak with you for a moment on +behalf of Miss Butt." + +"Miss Butt?" Jasmine repeated. "Who's she?" For a moment she thought +that her nervous condition was developing insanity and that the name was +something to do with her outburst against the 'buts' of Aunt Cuckoo. + +"Perhaps if you would come down, miss," suggested Cherrill, "to +ascertain from the ... person more in full what exactly she does +require, you could enquire from her who Miss Butt is." + +Jasmine asked if the visitor had given her own name, and when Cherrill +said that she had given the name of Mrs. Vokins she remembered that Mrs. +Vokins was Selina's friend at Catford. It was all very odd, and without +more ado she went downstairs. + +In the dining-room a small thin woman with a long red nose came forward +to shake hands with Jasmine in the serious way in which people who are +not accustomed to shaking hands very often do. + +"You've been sent here by Selina?" asked Jasmine impulsively. The +question seemed to take Mrs. Vokins aback; she had evidently been primed +with a good deal of formality to undertake her mission. + +"I am Miss Butt's lady friend from Catford," she explained with an +assumption of tremendous dignity. + +"I remember her talking about you very often." + +"Yes, miss," sighed Mrs. Vokins, taking out her handkerchief and dabbing +the corners of her eyes. She evidently supposed that any reference to +her in conversation must have included the sorrows of her past life, and +she now put on the air of one to whom a response to sympathy is the most +familiar emotion. + +"And you have a message for me from Selina?" + +"No, not a message, a letter. Miss Butt was unwilling to put it in the +pillar-box for fear your aunt should look at it." + +"My aunt?" + +"That was how Miss Butt came to send me in place of the pillar-box. She +wanted me to put the letter in my stocking for safety, but suffering as +I do from vericlose veins, I asked Miss Butt to kindly permit of it +being put in my handbag. You must excuse it smelling slightly of salts, +but I'm very subject to headaches ever since my trouble." + +Jasmine opened the letter, which was strongly perfumed with gin. The +negotiations being conducted in such a ladylike polite spirit, Jasmine +was not surprised to find Selina's letter couched in the same style. + + _Dear Miss Grant,_ + + _This is to inform you that poor old Mr. Rouncivell has been took + very bad with inflammation of the bowls screaming and yelling + himself hoarse fit to frighten anybody. I don't want to say more + than I ought in a letter, but knowing what I know, I tell you you + ought to come back with my lady friend Mrs. Vokins at once and not + knowing if you have the money for your fare I take the liberty of + enclosing a postal order for two pounds. Mrs. Vokins has a + brother-in-law who is a fourwheeler and will drive you back to + Muswell Hill as per arrangement._ + +"This is all very mysterious," Jasmine commented. + +"Yes, miss, so it is, I'm sure," Mrs. Vokins agreed. "But then, as my +friend Miss Butt says, life's very mysterious. And I said, answering +her, 'Yes, Miss Butt, and death's very mysterious.' And she said, +'You're right, Mrs. Vokins, it is.' Miss Butt's very worried. Oh yes, I +can tell you she's very worried, because she's given up the kitchen +which I was using for her three times a week. If I might presume to give +advice as a married woman, which I was before my poor husband died, I'd +advise you to pack up your box and come along with me by the afternoon +train, which my brother-in-law will meet with his cab. You need have no +fear of familiarity, miss, because he was a coachman before he was a +cabman, and was hounded out of his job by one of these motor-cars. +Inventions of the Devil, as I call them." + +"But does Selina want me to help her look after my poor uncle?" + +"I'm sorry, miss, to appear stand-offish, and it's through no wish of +mine, I'm sure, but Miss Butt's last words to me was: 'Keep your mouth +shut, Mrs. Vokins.'" + +Jasmine was too deeply moved by the thought of the poor old gentleman +lying in pain at Rouncivell Lodge, and too much touched by Selina's +kindly thought in enclosing her fare, to delay a moment in answering her +request. In any case it was obvious that she would have to leave the +Deanery almost at once, and it seemed an interposition of providence +that she should have such a splendid excuse to escape from the +ridiculous and humiliating position in which Edward's folly and Harry +Vibart's thoughtlessness had placed her. + +It was dark when the cab pulled up a hundred yards away from the gates +of Rouncivell Lodge, and Jasmine hoped that the necessity for all this +caution would soon be finished, because she was finding the gin-scented +hushes of Mrs. Vokins that filled the interior of the dank old cab +trying to her fatigued and hungry condition. However, there was not long +to wait before Selina's voice, which always sounded to Jasmine as if the +housekeeper had been eating a lot of stale biscuits without being able +to obtain a drink of water after them, greeted her. + +"Such goings on!" she snapped, and then turning to the cabman went on in +her dry voice: "Perhaps, Mr. Vokins, you'll have the goodness to carry +Miss Grant's trunk round to the back entrance without ringing." + +"I suppose the horse will stand all right?" said the cabman doubtfully. + +"Of course the horse will stand all right," said Selina. "My father was +a coachman before you knew the difference between a horse and a donkey, +Mr. Vokins." + +"William," supplemented his sister-in-law, "remember what I told you on +your doorstep first thing this morning." + +Mr. Vokins without another word went off to leave Jasmine's trunk where +he had been told to leave it. While he was gone, the conversation was +kept strictly to the minor incidents of Mrs. Vokins' mission. + +"You got off then quite comfortably, Mrs. Vokins?" Selina enquired. + +"Yes, Miss Butt, thank you. I had no trouble. Or I should say none but +what come from me being so silly as to break my smelling salts in my bag +by not noticing I had put my bag _under_ me on the seat instead of +_beside_ me as I had the intention of. Oh yes, when anyone makes up +their mind to it, you can get about nowadays and no mistake." + +"And you gave Miss Grant the postal order all right, Mrs. Vokins?" +enquired Selina sharply. + +"We haven't known each other all these years, Miss Butt," replied her +friend with elaborate haughtiness, "for you to have any need to ask me +_sech_ a question _now_." + +"It was so kind of you, Selina, to think of that," said Jasmine, putting +out her hand to touch the yellow-faced housekeeper's arm. Selina blew +her nose violently, and then observed that a little quietness from +everybody would not come amiss. + +It was not until the two Vokins had disappeared into the December night +and Selina had conducted Jasmine with the most elaborate caution along +the gloomy path known as the Tradesmen's Entrance and had seen her +safely seated by the kitchen fire that she allowed herself the luxury +of a complete explanation; and even then she broke off just when she had +gathered her skirts together before sitting down to observe that Jasmine +was looking very pale, and to ask if she was hungry. + +"I haven't had any dinner," Jasmine explained. + +"Well, there's nothing but muffins; but I suppose you wouldn't object to +muffins. If a Frenchman who isn't hungry can eat frogs and snails, you +can eat muffins when you are." + +"I should love some muffins," said Jasmine, and she ate four while +Selina sat back and stared hard at her all the time. As soon as she had +finished, the narrative opened. + +"Well, it's best to begin at the beginning, as they say, and when you +got into trouble over Her walking-stick, that there Pamela planted +herself down here. And now perhaps you'll understand why I said nothing +in front of Mrs. Vokins?" + +Jasmine looked bewildered. + +"Well, of course, she poisoned him. Oh, undoubtedly she poisoned him. +Well, I mean to say, people don't fall ill for nothing, do they?" + +"Selina!" Jasmine gasped. "You're making the most dreadful accusation. +You really ought to be careful." + +"That's what I am being. Careful. If I wasn't careful, I should have +gone and hollered it out in the streets, shouldn't I? But I know better. +Before I'd hollered it out once or twice I should have been asked to eat +my words, if you'll excuse the vulgar expression. And then where should +I have been?" + +"Yes, but I don't think you ought to say things like that even to me. +After all...." Jasmine hesitated; she was debating indeed whether to say +'Miss Pamela' or 'Pamela.' If she used the former, she should seem to be +dissociating herself too much from Selina, which in view of having +accepted the loan of that money would be snobbish; and yet if she called +her simply 'Pamela' she should seem to be associating herself too +intimately with Selina, even perhaps to be endorsing the terrible +accusation, which was only one of Selina's ridiculous exaggerations, on +the level of her theory that the human race was without exception +damned. "After all," she had found the way to put it, "my cousin, you +see she _is_ my cousin." + +"Well," Selina granted unwillingly, "if she didn't poison him with +arsenic, she poisoned his mind. The things she used to say at the +dinner-table! Well, I give you my word, I was in two twos once or twice +whether I wouldn't bang her on the head with the cover of the potato +dish. I give you my word, it was itching in my hand. Nasty sneering way +of talking! I don't know where people who calls theirselves ladies learn +such manners. And no sooner had that there Pamela gone than that there +Lettice appeared. Lettice, indeed! There's not much green about her. +Anyone more cunning I've never seen. Nasty insinuendos, enough to make +anyone sick! Small wonder the poor old gentleman had no appetite for his +food! And of course she attempted to set him against me. Well, on one +occasion he akcherly used language to me which I give you my word if +he'd of been a day younger I wouldn't have stood it. Language I should +be sorry to use to a convick myself. Well, there have been times when +I've wondered if the Lord wasn't a little bit too particular. You know +what I mean, a little too dictatorial and old-fashioned. But I give you +my word since I've had two months of them I sympathize with Him. Yes, I +sympathize with Him! And if I was Him, I'd do the same thing. Well, I +never expected to enjoy looking down out of Heaven at a lot of poor +souls burning; but if this goes on much longer, I shall begin to think +that it's one of the glories of Paradise. I could watch the whole lot of +them burning by the hour. And that's not the worst I've told you. Even +if they didn't akcherly poison him, they're glad he's ill, and I +wouldn't mind who heard me say that. I'd go and shout out that this very +moment in Piccadilly Circus. And their mother! Nosey, nasty, +stuck-up--well, it's no use sitting here and talking about what they +are. What we've got to do is to spoil their little game. If I go up to +see if he wants anything, I get ordered out of the room like the dirt +beneath their feet. 'We've got to be very careful,' says that smarmy +doctor they've got in to annoy me. 'Very careful.' says I, looking at +him very meaning. 'Terrible to hear anyone suffer like that,' he says. +'Yes, it is terrible,' says I. 'And the terrible thing is,' he says, +'that however much one wants to alleviorate the pain, we daren't do it. +And whyever won't he come out of that dreadful little room,' he says, +'when there's all those nice bedrooms lying empty?' 'You let him be +where he is,' I said, 'it's his house, isn't it?' And then, before I +could stop them, they started lifting the box mattress and trying to +move him out of the bathroom. And the way he screamed and carried on, it +was something shocking to hear him! And I know the reason perfectly +well. Underneath the mattress _in_ the bath he keeps his coffin. Many's +the time he's congratulated himself to me on getting that coffin so +cheap. 'It's oak, Selina,' he used to say, 'and I got it cheap for a +misfit, and it fills up the bath a treat.' Well, it stands to reason, +doesn't it, that now of all times he wants to keep it handy? 'No deal +coffins for me, Selina,' he used to say. Besides, it's my belief he's +got his will inside of that coffin. Depend upon it, he's got his own +reasons for not wishing to be moved. So I stood in the doorway, and I +said very fierce: 'If you want to move him, you'll have to move me +first.' And then it came over me all of a sudden that if I got you back +here to help we might be able to do something both together." + +In spite of Selina's marvels and exaggerations and absurd +misconstructions, her tale convinced Jasmine of Uncle Matthew's hatred +of being taken charge of by the Hector Grants. Naturally she sympathized +with his point of view on this matter. To be helpless in the hands of +the Hector Grants struck her as a punishment far in excess of anything +that the old gentleman deserved. She did not feel that it was her duty +to interfere in the slightest degree with the normal process of his +will, but she did feel that she had a right if he were not comfortable +to protest her own anxiety to look after him, even more, to insist upon +looking after him. She supposed that her Aunt May would attribute the +lowest motives to this intention; Aunt May, however, always attributed +low motives to everybody, and the lowest motives of all to her niece. + +"Well?" asked Selina sharply when Jasmine did not offer any remarks upon +her tale. + +"I'm sorry," said Jasmine, pulling herself together. "I was wondering +what excuse I should be able to give my aunt for seeming to interfere." + +"Excuse?" Selina repeated angrily. "No excuse is needed, I assure you, +for putting yourself forward on his behalf, as you might say. What he +requires is looking after. What he's getting is nothing of the kind." + +At that moment a scream rang through the house. Jasmine looked at Selina +in horror. + +"What did I tell you?" the housekeeper demanded triumphantly. "I told +you he carried on something awful, and you wouldn't believe me. It's a +wonder he hasn't started in screaming before. I've never known him quiet +for so long at a stretch. Bloodcurdling, I call it. You often read of +bloodcurdling screams. Now you can hear them for yourself. There he goes +again." + +And it really was bloodcurdling to hear from that old man's room what +sounded like the shrieks of a passionate, frightened, tortured child. It +had the effect of rousing Jasmine to an immediate encounter with her +aunt, an encounter to brace herself up to which, until she had heard +Uncle Matthew scream, had been growing more and more difficult with +every moment of delay. Now she sprang out of her chair and hurried up +the wide central staircase, past the countless figures in the pictures +that stared at her when she passed like a frightened crowd. She ran too +quickly for Selina to keep up with her, and when she turned down into +the passage at the end of which was her uncle's little room, she beheld +what, without the real agony and pain at the back of it, would have been +a merely grotesque sight. The box-mattress on which Uncle Matthew was +lying was half-way through the door of his bedroom, carried by two men +of respectful and sober appearance whom she recognized as two male +nurses that she had once seen on the steps of Sir Hector's house in +Harley Street arming an old man with a shaven head into a brougham. The +old man's eyes had been wild and tragic, and their wildness and tragedy +had been rendered more conspicuous to Jasmine by the very respect with +which the attendants treated him and the very sobriety of their manner +and appearance; to such an extent indeed that the personalities of the +two men, if two such colourless individuals could be allowed to possess +personality, had been tinged, or rather not so much tinged as glazed +over, with a sinister aura. So now when she saw them for the second +time, struggling in the doorway while her uncle held fast to the frame +and tried to prevent the bed's being carried out, she had a swift and +sickening sensation of horror. She was hurrying down the passage to +protest against the old gentleman's being moved against his will, when +her aunt emerged from one of the nearer bedrooms and stood before her. + +"What are you doing to Uncle Matthew?" demanded Jasmine furiously, not +pausing to explain her own presence. She had a moment's satisfaction in +perceiving that Lady Grant was obviously taken aback at seeing her +there; but her aunt soon recovered herself sufficiently to reply with +her wonted coldness: + +"It scarcely seems to concern you, my dear; and may I enquire in my turn +what _you_ are doing _here_?" + +"Oh, you needn't think you can put me off like that," Jasmine went on +apace. "I've left Silchester, and I'm going to stay here until Uncle +Matthew is better, and I'll answer no questions until he is better." + +"Indeed? That will be for your uncle and me to decide." + +"Oh no, it won't. You're not my guardians. You weren't appointed my +guardians, and you've got no say in the matter at all. If Uncle Matthew +doesn't want to be taken out of his own room, why should he be, when +he's ill?" + +Another person now appeared, a sleek, pale, old young man, whom Jasmine +recognized from Selina's allusion as the 'smarmy' doctor. She took +advantage of his presence to run past her aunt and speak to the old +gentleman, who was so much occupied in holding on to the frame of the +door that he was apparently unconscious of his niece's arrival. + +"If you please, miss," said one of the nurses, "you'd better not excite +the patient just now." + +Jasmine paid no attention to this advice, but knelt down and with all +the force she could achieve kept on calling out to know what Uncle +Matthew wanted, until at last the old gentleman was induced to recognize +her. He was evidently pleased at her arrival, so much pleased that he +offered her his hand in greeting, a gesture which cost him his hold on +the frame of the door. The male nurses were quick to take advantage of +this, and while Jasmine was still on her knees, they hurried him along +the passage and vanished through the door from which Lady Grant had just +emerged. Jasmine realized that her interference had only succeeded in +helping the other side, and in a mist of mortification and self-reproach +she followed the bed into the room prepared to receive the sick man. She +was bound to admit to herself that the room was well chosen and +admirably prepared. Yet she knew that the more careful the preparations, +the more acutely would they aggravate her uncle's discomfort. The fire +burning lavishly in the grate, the flowers blooming wastefully on the +table, the sick room's glittering equipment, they would seem to him +detestable extravagances which in his feeble condition he was powerless +to prevent. As soon as Uncle Matthew was safely out of his little +bath-bedroom, Lady Grant locked the door and put the key in her bag; but +Selina arrived on the scene in time for this action by her ladyship, to +whom she proceeded to give, or rather at whom she proceeded to throw a +piece of her mind. When the housekeeper paused for breath, her ladyship +merely said coldly that if she did not behave herself, she would find +herself and her boxes in the street. + +"This kind of thing has been going on long enough," Lady Grant +proclaimed to the world. "It was time for his relations to interfere." + +Jasmine, when she made an effort to consider the situation calmly, could +not help acknowledging that by that world to which she had appealed all +the right and all the reason would be awarded to her aunt. An abusive +housekeeper trying to interfere between doctor and patient would stand +little chance of obtaining even a hearing for her point of view, +especially when that doctor was Sir Hector Grant. Moreover, she began to +ask herself, might not Selina have merely got a bee buzzing in her +bonnet about interference for the sake of interference? Had not her own +judgment been wrought up by Selina's mysterious way of summoning her to +Rouncivell Lodge and by the stifling atmosphere that enwrapped it to +imagining what was, after all, looked at sanely, a melodramatic and +improbable situation? One thing she was determined to do, however, and +that was to stay in the house herself, not for any purpose connected +with wills concealed in coffins under beds, but simply in order to be +able to devote herself to Uncle Matthew's comfort. If her aunt really +was trying to manipulate the old gentleman's end--and of course the idea +was absurd--but if she were, she would find her niece's presence an +obstacle to the success of her schemes, and if her wicked intentions +were nothing more than the creation of Selina's highflown fancy.... +Jasmine broke off her thoughts and went back to her uncle's new room, +where, pulling up a chair beside his bed, she took his hand and asked if +he did not feel a little better. The effort he had made to resist +removal had exhausted him, and he was lying on the box-mattress +breathing so faintly and looking so pale that she rose again in alarm to +call the doctor, who was talking to Lady Grant outside. She had not +moved a step from the bed before Uncle Matthew called to her in a weak +voice, a voice, however, that still retained the accent of command, and +bade her sit down again. It was at least a satisfaction to feel that he +had grasped the fact of her presence and that he was evidently anxious +to keep her by his side. Presently, when the respectful and sober male +nurses had respectfully and soberly left the house, like two plumbers +who had accomplished their job, the doctor came back to ask softly if +Mr. Rouncivell could not bring himself to change his bed as well as his +room. The old gentleman made no further opposition, but allowed himself +to be lifted down from the box-mattress and tucked up in the big +four-poster, after which the box-mattress, upon which he had slept for +so many years in his bath, was carried away. Jasmine was now alone with +him, and he beckoned her to lean over to catch what she feared might be +his last whisper. + +She was unnecessarily nervous. + +"They think I'm going to die," he chuckled. "But I'm not. Ha! Ha!" + +Five minutes afterward he was peacefully sleeping. + +Downstairs Jasmine was allowed the pleasure of thoroughly and +extensively defying her aunt. Nothing that Lady Grant said could make +her flinch from her avowed determination not to leave Rouncivell Lodge +until her uncle was definitely better. Only when she was satisfied on +this point would she agree to go wherever she was sent. She even took a +delight in drawing such a heightened picture of the affair with Edward +and Harry Vibart at the Deanery as to call down upon her the epithet +'shameless.' She announced that if after she had visited Uncle Alec and +Aunt Mildred she found that she did not get on better with them than +with the rest of her relations, she should somehow borrow the money to +return to Sirene, whence nothing should induce her ever to return to +England. + +"It occurs to me," said Lady Grant, "that you are trying to be +impertinent." + +"I don't care what occurs to you," Jasmine retorted. "I am simply +telling you what I intend to do. I've got a kind of fondness for Uncle +Matthew--not a very deep fondness, but a kind of fondness--and although +you think me so heartless, I really am anxious about him, and I really +should like to stay here until he's better." + +It must have been difficult for Lady Grant to refrain from giving +expression to the implication that was on the tip of her tongue; but she +did refrain, and Jasmine could not help admiring her for doing so. +However, she was determined to provoke a discussion about that very +implication, and of her own accord she assured her aunt that she need be +under no apprehension over Uncle Matthew's money, because she had no +intention of trying to influence him in any way whatever. + +"Impudent little wretch!" Aunt May gasped. And Jasmine gloried in her +ability to have wrung from that cold and well-mannered woman such a +betrayal of her radical femininity. + +Jasmine did not expect to have the house to herself; nevertheless, in +spite of continual visits from Lettice and Pamela, from Aunt Cuckoo and +Aunt Ellen--the last-named greeting Jasmine as an abbess might greet a +runaway nun--most of Uncle Matthew's entertainment fell upon her +shoulders. This was not that the others did not take their turn at the +bedside, but when they did, the old gentleman always pretended to be +asleep, whereas with Jasmine he was conversational, much more +conversational, indeed, than he had ever been when he was well. One day +she felt that she really was forgiven when he asked her to go down to +the hall and bring up his collection of sticks, all of which in turn he +looked at and stroked and fondled; after this he made Jasmine put down +in pencil the cost of each one, add up the sum, divide it by the number +of sticks, and establish the average cost of each. When he had +established the average cost, all the sticks that had cost more he made +her put on one side, and all the sticks that had cost less on the other. +After the sticks were classified, she was told to fetch various pieces +of bric-à-brac on which he was anxious to gloat, as a convalescent child +gloats over his long-neglected toys; finally one afternoon the +musical-box was brought up, and the whole of its twelve tunes played +through twice over. + +Next morning he announced that he should get up. + +"Oh no, I'm not dead yet," he said. "And, after all, why should I be? +I'm only seventy-six. I've got a lot more years to live before I die." + +Since the old gentleman had been out of danger, Selina had ceased to +worry; but she still insisted that his will was in the coffin, and that +time would prove her words true one of these days. + +"Depend upon it," she told Jasmine, "they meant him to die without +leaving any will at all. They meant him to die untested. Oh yes, that's +what they meant him to do, and her ladyship--though why she should call +herself a ladyship any more than Mrs. Vokins is beyond me, and I've +known many real ladyships in my time--oh yes, her ladyship had worked it +all out. She knew she couldn't expect to get it all, the cunning Isaacs. +So she thought she'd have it divided amongst the lot, thinking as half a +loaf's better than no bread. You'd have been a loser and I'd have been +a loser by that game. And depend upon it the old gentleman saw through +her, and made up his mind he would not die. Oh dear, if he'd only make +up his mind to get salvation, there's no reason why he should worry +about anything at all. No reason whatever. Think how nice it would be if +we could all meet in Heaven one day and talk over all this. Oh, wouldn't +it be nice? Think of the lovely weather they must always get in Heaven. +I suppose we should be sitting about out of doors half the time. Or +that's my notion anyway. But you and he won't be there, so what's the +use in making plans to meet?" + + + + +_Chapter Ten_ + + +Jasmine was not even yet cynical enough to keep herself from feeling +hurt when Uncle Matthew on his recovery did not press her to stay on +with him at Rouncivell Lodge, and, what was even more pointed, did not +suggest that she might accompany him to Bournemouth, where in accordance +with the prescription of Sir Hector Grant he was to regain all the +vigour possible for a man of his age to enjoy. The Hector Grants, in +their eagerness to help the old gentleman's convalescence, had taken a +furnished house among the pines, the superb situation of which, with a +great show of deference and affection, he had been invited to enjoy. +Perhaps the old gentleman, who had been for several weeks the unwilling +host of so many anxious relations, wanted to get back some of the +expenses of hospitality. Jasmine thought that he owed as much to her +devotion as to insist on her company; Uncle Matthew, however, did not +appear sensible of any obligation, and he accepted Lettice and Pamela as +his companions for alternate weeks without a murmur on behalf of +Jasmine. Lettice and Pamela themselves were furious. They would have +much preferred to sacrifice any prospects in Uncle Matthew's will to the +dances of the autumn season; nor were they appeased by their mother's +suggestion that separation from each other for a time might lead to many +offers of marriage from young men who had hitherto been perplexed by the +difficulty of choosing between them. + +"I suppose you want me to go and stay with Uncle Alec and Aunt Mildred?" +Jasmine asked one day when Lady Grant was demanding from the world at +large what was the wisest thing to do with Jasmine and when Cousin Edith +was apparently sunk in too profound an abyss of incertitude to be able +to reply for the world at large. + +"Why should you suppose that?" Lady Grant enquired gently. + +"Well, they're the only relatives left to whom I haven't been passed +on," said Jasmine. She was still able to hold her own against Aunt May +in the bandying of words; but the failure of Uncle Matthew to appreciate +her services had been fatal to any advance toward a real independence, +and she was already beginning to wonder if it was worth while being rude +to Aunt May, and if she might not be more profitably occupied in ousting +Cousin Edith and securing for herself Cousin Edith's humiliating but +superficially comfortable position in the household at Harley Street. + +"What curious expressions you do employ, Jasmine. When I was your age, I +should never have dreamed of employing such expressions. But then in my +young days we were taught manners." + +"And deportment," Cousin Edith added. "Don't you remember, Cousin May, +how strict about that the Miss Watneys used to be in the dear old days +at school?" + +But Lady Grant did not wish to remember that she was once at school with +Cousin Edith, and in order to snub Cousin Edith she had to forgo the +pleasure of lecturing Jasmine upon her curious use of verbs. + +"It is quite a coincidence," she went on, "that you should mention Uncle +Alec and Aunt Mildred, because only this morning I received an +invitation for you to go and stay with them at Curtain Wells. The +trouble is that since the unfortunate affair at your Aunt Ellen's I +feel some responsibility for your behaviour. Uncle Alec and Aunt Mildred +are very strict about the Prince. They have to be. And inasmuch as one +of the reasons for entrusting him to them was the advantage of being +given Uncle Hector's particular attention, really I don't know...." + +At this moment Sir Hector himself came into the room, and his wife broke +off to ask him what he thought. + +"What do you think, my dear, about this proposed visit to Alec and +Mildred? Could you recommend Jasmine in the circumstances? I know that +in many ways she might make herself very useful. You must learn ludo, +Jasmine, if we let you go. The Prince is very fond of ludo. But----" +Lady Grant paused, and Jasmine, who did not at all want to entertain the +royal lunatic, hurriedly suggested that she should go and live with +Selina at Rouncivell Lodge while Uncle Matthew was recuperating at +Bournemouth. + +"What extraordinary notions you do get hold of," her aunt declared. + +"Extraordinary!" Cousin Edith echoed. + +Both ladies looked at Sir Hector as if they supposed that he would at +once certify his niece insane after such a remark. He did not seem to +find the notion so extraordinary, and his wife went on hurriedly, for +she was realizing that Jasmine's suggestion of living with Selina +attracted her husband. + +"I'm inclined to think that Selina will not stay long at Rouncivell +Lodge," she said. "After her behaviour during poor old Uncle Matthew's +illness you may be sure that she will receive no help from me. Frankly, +I shall do my best to persuade Uncle Matthew that she is an unsuitable +person." + +How glad Jasmine would have been to retort with a sarcastic remark +about Aunt May's behaviour! But she could not; she was falling back into +complete dependency; she would soon begin to wither, and she gazed at +Cousin Edith as if she were a Memento Mori, a skeleton whose fingers +pointed warningly at the future. + +"Anyway," said Jasmine to herself when she took her seat in the train at +Paddington, "this is the last lot. And if they're worse than the others +it won't be so bad to come back to Harley Street." + +Colonel Alexander Grant was and always had been outwardly the most +distinguished of the Grants. He had escaped the excessive angularity of +his elder brothers, and although he was much better looking than Sholto, +Jasmine's father, there was between them a family likeness, by which +Jasmine was less moved than she felt she ought to be. In fact, the +amount she had lately had to endure of family duties, family influence, +family sensibilities, had made her chary of seeming to ascribe any +importance at all even to her own father so far as he was a relation. +The Colonel, in addition to being an outwardly distinguished officer in +a Highland regiment of repute, had married one of the daughters of old +Sir Frederick Willoughby, who was Minister at the Court of the Grand +Duke of Pomerania at the time when Captain Grant, as he then was, found +himself in Pomerania on matters connected with his profession. He had +not been married long when the Boer War broke out, his success in which +as an intelligence officer put into his head the idea of becoming a +military attaché, an ambition that with the help of his father-in-law, +then Ambassador at Rome, he was able to achieve. + +His wife may not have brought him as much money as the wives of Hector +and Eneas, but she brought him quite enough to sustain without +financial worries the semi-political, semi-military positions that he +found so congenial, and through his success in which, coupled with his +double relationship to Sir Frederick Willoughby and Sir Hector Grant, he +was given the guardianship of the lunatic Prince Adalbert of Pomerania. + +Enough pretence of state was kept up at 23, The Crescent, Curtain Wells, +to make the Colonel and his wife feel their own importance. He had the +Distinguished Service Order, could still reasonably turn the pages of +the _London Gazette_ two or three times a year with a good chance of +finding himself with the C.M.G., and had not yet quite given up hope of +the Bath. He had picked up in Rome the Crown of Italy, in Madrid the +Order of Isabella the Catholic, while from Pomerania he had received the +cordon of St. Wenceslaus, and the third class of the Order of the Black +Griffin (with Claws). His responsibility for the younger son of a royal +house gave him in Curtain Wells, after the Mayor, the Member, and the +Master of Ceremonies at the Pump Room, the most conspicuous position +among his fellow-townsmen, and when the barouche which by the terms of +the guardianship had to be maintained for His Serene Highness made a +splendid progress past the arcades and along the dignified streets of +the old watering-place, Colonel Grant, observing the respectful glances +of the citizens, felt that his career had been a success. + +Aunt Mildred, even as a girl, had been considered eccentric for a +Willoughby; her marriage with a soldier of fortune had done nothing to +cure this reputation; association with Prince Adalbert had done a great +deal to develop it. To this eccentricity was added a strong squint. + +Military attachés are notorious for the cynical way in which they +sacrifice everybody to their careers, and it might be argued in favour +of Colonel Grant that he had sacrificed himself as cynically as any of +his friends. + +Jasmine's visit opened inauspiciously, because by mistake she travelled +down to Curtain Wells by an earlier train than the one to which she had +been recommended by her aunt; she therefore arrived at The Crescent +about two o'clock without having been met at the station. When her aunt +came to greet her in the drawing-room, Jasmine had an impression that +she was still eating, and apologized for interrupting her lunch. + +"Lunch?" repeated Aunt Mildred, still making these curious sounds of +eating. "We finished lunch at twelve, and we dine at four." The sound of +eating continued, and made Jasmine so shy that she was speechless until +she suddenly realized that what she had mistaken for incomplete +mastication was merely the automatic play of Aunt Mildred's muscles on a +loosely fitting set of false teeth. Mrs. Alexander Grant, unaware that +she was making this noise, did not pay any attention to her niece's want +of tact; but Jasmine was so much embarrassed that she evidently did not +make a favourable first impression. + +The spacious Georgian proportions of the drawing-room at 23, The +Crescent, were destroyed by a mass of marquetry furniture, +antimacassars, and photographs in plush and silver frames of royal +personages, the last of which gave the room an unreal and uninhabited +appearance like the private parlour of a public-house where respectable +groups of excursionists take tea on Sunday afternoon; for these people +with ridiculous coiffures and costumes, signing themselves Albertina or +Frederica or Adolphus, were as little credible as a publican's +relatives. + +However, Jasmine was too anxious about her presentation to His Serene +Highness to notice anything very much, and if she had offended her aunt +by arriving too soon or by not knowing the time for dinner, she made up +for it by asking how she was to address the Prince. This was a topic on +which her aunt obviously liked to expatiate, and she was delighted to be +asked to instruct Jasmine how to curtsey, and to inform her that he was +always addressed as 'Sir' in the English manner, because his mother, the +Grand Duchess, had expressed a wish that the more formal German mode of +salutation should be dispensed with in order to provide a suitable +atmosphere of simplicity for the simple soul of her youngest son. + +"Is he very mad?" asked Jasmine. + +"Good heavens, child," her aunt gasped, "I beg you will not use that +word here. Mad? He's not mad at all." + +At that moment the door opened to admit a diminutive figure in livery. +Jasmine was just going to curtsey under the impression that it was the +Prince, when she heard her aunt say, "What is it now, Snelson?" in time +to realize that it was the butler. + +"His Serene Highness is being rather troublesome, madam," said Snelson. + +"Oh? What is the matter?" + +"Well, madam, when he got up this morning he would put on his evening +dress, and now he wants to go for a drive in evening dress." + +"Why, Snelson?" + +"I think he wants to go to the theatre again. He enjoyed himself very +much last night. Quite a pleasure to hear him chuckling when he got +home. I told him if he was a good boy he should go again next week, but +he went and lost his temper, and now he's gone and thrown all his +lounge suits into the area. The maids are picking them up as fast as +they can. Perhaps you could come up and speak to him, madam? He's got it +into his head I'm trying to keep him from the theatre." + +"Such a boy!" sighed Aunt Mildred, and her intense squint gave Jasmine a +momentary illusion that she was referring to Snelson. "Such a boy! You +see what a boy he is. He's as interested in life as a sparrow. _You're_ +going to be devoted to him, of course. You'll rave about him." + +Jasmine was wondering why this was so certain, when one of the maids +came in to say that it was not a bit of good her collecting His Serene +Highness's clothes, because as fast as they were collected, he was +throwing them out of the window again. + +"And he's started screaming," added the maid. + +"Snelson, you ought never to have left him," Aunt Mildred said severely. +"You ought to have known he would start screaming. You should have sent +for me to come up." + +"I've locked him in his room, madam." + +"Yes, and you know that always makes him scream. He hates being locked +in his room." + +Aunt Mildred went away with Snelson, and Jasmine was left to herself, +until Uncle Alexander came in and got over the awkwardness of avuncular +greetings by asking her what all the fuss was about. She told him about +the Prince's throwing his clothes out of the window, which her uncle +attributed to excitement over her visit. + +"No, I don't think it's that," said Jasmine. "I think he wants to go to +the theatre again." + +"Oh no, he's excited about your visit. You must humour him. Very nice +fellow really. Very nice chap. And as sane as you or me if you take him +the right way. I think Snelson irritates him. If he wants to put on +evening dress, why shouldn't he put on evening dress? So silly to thwart +him about a little thing like that. I can always manage him perfectly +well. I spoke to my brother Hector about it, and he agreed with me that +there are only two ways to deal with lunatics ... with patients, I mean +... either to give way to them in everything or to give way to them in +nothing." + +Jasmine thought this sounded excellent if ambiguous advice. + +"Now I humour him," said the Colonel. "The other day he heard some +tactless people talking about electric shocks, and he got it into his +head that he couldn't touch anything without getting an electric shock. +Well, you can imagine what a nuisance that was to everybody. What did I +do? I humoured him. I put a saucer on his head and told him he was +insulated, and he went about carrying that saucer on his head for a week +as happy as he could be. He's forgotten all about electricity now. Take +my advice: humour him." At this point Snelson came down again. + +"If you please, sir, Mrs. Grant says His Highness insists on wearing his +evening dress." + +"Well, let him wear his evening dress, damme, let him wear it," the +Colonel shouted. "Let him wear it. Let him wear his pyjamas if he wants +to wear his pyjamas." + +"Very good, sir," said Snelson in an injured voice as he retired. + +A few minutes later the subject of all this discussion appeared in the +drawing-room. + +Prince Adalbert Victor Augustus of Pomerania was a tall and very thin +young man, though on account of his habit of walking with a furtive +crouch he did not give an impression of height. He had a sparse beard, +the hairs of which seemed to wave about upon his chin like weeds in the +stream of a river. This beard did not add the least dignity to his +countenance, but he was allowed to keep it because it was considered +unsafe to trust him with a razor, and he would never allow Snelson to +shave him. He walked round an ordinary room as if he were crossing a +narrow and dangerous Alpine pass, and he would never let go his hold of +any piece of furniture until he was able to grasp the next piece along +the route of his progress. Owing to this way of moving about, Jasmine, +when he first came into the room, thought he was going to attack her. +She supposed that it would be discourteous to watch him all the way +round the room, and she could not help feeling nervous when she heard +him behind her. Mrs. Grant, perhaps because she was nearly as idiotic as +the Prince himself, assumed the airs of a mother with him, and always +addressed him as Bertie. + +"Now, Bertie, be a good boy," she said, "and come and shake hands with +my niece. You've heard all about her. This is little Miss Jasmine." + +The Prince suddenly released the piece of furniture he was holding, and +just as some child makes up its mind to venture upon a crucial dash in a +game like Puss-in-the-corner, he rushed up to Jasmine, and after +muttering "I like you very much, thank you, little Miss Jasmine," he at +once rushed back to his piece of furniture so rapidly that Jasmine had +no time to curtsey. She was not yet used to the direction of her aunt's +eyes, and now observing that they were apparently fixed upon herself in +disapproval, she began her obeisance. The Prince evidently liked her +curtsey, for he began curtseying too, until the Colonel said in a sharp +whisper: "For goodness' sake don't excite him. The one thing we try to +avoid is exciting him with unnecessary ceremony." So evidently her aunt +had not been looking at her, and this was presently obvious, because +while she was telling Snelson to order the barouche, her eyes were still +fixed on Jasmine. + +"Are you coming for a drive, dear?" she asked her husband. "It was quite +sunny this morning when I woke up." + +The Colonel shook his head. + +"And now, Bertie," she went on, "be a good boy and put on your other +suit." + +"I want to go to the theatre," the Prince argued. + +"Well, you shall go to the theatre to-night." + +"I want to go now," the Prince persisted. + +"Now come along, your Serene Highness," said Snelson. "Try and not give +so much trouble, there's a good chap. You can go to the theatre +to-night." + +However, the Prince did not go to the theatre that night, for after a +stately drive through Curtain Wells, from which Jasmine on the grounds +of untidiness after a journey excused herself, they sat down to play +bridge after dinner. Jasmine did not know how to play bridge. Her uncle +told her that her ignorance of the game did not matter, because she +could always be dummy, the Prince also being perpetual dummy. Even as a +dummy, the Prince wasted a good deal of time, because he had to be +allowed to play the cards that were called for, and it took him a long +time to distinguish between suits, let alone between court cards and +common cards. He had a habit, too, of suddenly throwing all his cards up +into the air, so that Snelson was kept in the room to spend much of his +time in routing about on the floor for the cards that his royal master +had flung down. The Prince had other obstructive habits, like suddenly +getting up in order to shake hands with everybody in turn, which, as +Mrs. Grant said, expressed his delightful nature, although it rather +interfered with the progress of the game. + +When the Colonel, with Jasmine as his dummy partner, had beaten his wife +and the Prince, he became jovial, and there being still half an hour +before the Prince had to compose his excitement prior to going to bed, a +game of ludo was suggested. This would have been a better game if Prince +Adalbert had not wanted to change the colour of his counters all the +time, which made it difficult to know who was winning, and impossible to +say who had really won. The Colonel, after humouring him in the first +game, grew interested in a big lead he had established with Red in the +second game and objected to the Prince's desire to change him into +Green. It was in vain that Jasmine and her aunt offered him Yellow or +Blue: he was determined to have Red, and when the Colonel declined to +surrender his lead, the Prince decided that the game was tiddly-winks, +which caused it to break up in confusion. + +Prince Adalbert was really too idiotic to be bearable for long. Living +in the same house with him was like living on terms of equality with a +spoilt monkey. There were times, of course, when his intelligence +approximated to human intelligence, one expression of which was a +passion for collecting. It began by his going down to the kitchen when +the servants were occupied elsewhere and collecting the material and +utensils for the preparation of dinner. Not much damage was done on this +occasion, except that the unbaked portion of a Yorkshire pudding was +concealed in the piano. On another occasion he collected all Jasmine's +clothes and hid them under his bed. Aunt Mildred evinced a tendency to +blame Jasmine for this, even going so far as to suggest that she had +encouraged him to collect her clothes, though in what way this +encouragement was deduced except from Jasmine's usual untidiness was +not made clear. Snelson was ordered to keep a sharper look out on his +master, as it was feared that from collecting inside the house, he might +begin to collect outside the house, which, as the Colonel said, would be +an intolerable bore. The passion for collecting was soon after this +exchanged for a desire to cohabit with owls, the Prince having observed +on one of his drives a tame owl in a wicker cage outside a small +fruiterer's shop. The owner of the bird was persuaded to part with it at +a price, and the Prince drove home in a state of perfect bliss with his +pet on the opposite seat. + +"It's really lovely to watch him," said Aunt Mildred. + +"Never known him so mad about anything as His Serene Highness is now +about owls," said Snelson. "He'll sit and talk to that owl by the hour +together." + +The Prince's devotion to the bird occupied his mind so completely that +it was thought prudent to import two more owls in case anything should +happen to the particular one upon which he was lavishing such love. The +first owl remained his favourite, however, and it really did seem to +return his affection, in a negative kind of way, by never actually +biting the Prince, although it bit everybody else in the house. Jasmine +had no hesitation about encouraging him in this passion, because it kept +him so well occupied that bridge, ludo, and tiddly-winks were put on one +side, and the Prince himself no longer screamed when he had to go to +bed. In fact, he was only too anxious after dinner to get back to his +room in order to pass the evening saying, 'Tu-whit, tu-whoo!' to his +owls. Unfortunately there was begotten from this association an ambition +in the Prince's mind to become an owl himself, and when one evening the +Colonel found him with six feathers stuck in his hair, perched on the +rail of the bed and trying to eat a mouse he had caught, the owls were +banished. The Prince's desire to be an owl was not so easily disposed +of. For some time after his pets had disappeared he replied to all +questions with 'Tu-whit, tu-whoo!' and once when the Colonel impatiently +told him to behave himself like a human being, he rushed at him and bit +his finger. + +"Who started him off in this ridiculous owl idea?" the Colonel demanded +of his wife irritably. "Nice thing if the Baron comes over to find out +how he's getting on, and finds that he believes himself to be an owl. +You know perfectly well that they don't really approve of his being +looked after in England, and I can't understand why Jasmine doesn't make +herself more pleasant to him. We all thought before she came that she +would be a recreation for him. It seems to me that he's much madder now +than he's ever been yet." + +"Oh, hush, dear!" Aunt Mildred begged her husband, having vainly tried +with signs to fend off the threatened admission of the Prince's state of +mind. + +But the Colonel's finger was hurting him acutely, and he would not agree +to keep up the pretence of the Prince's sanity. + +"You can't expect me to go about pretending he's not mad. Why, the +people come out of the shops now in order to hear him calling out +'Tu-whit, tu-whoo!' as he drives past. Supposing he starts biting people +in the street? I really do think," he added, turning to Jasmine, "that +you might put yourself out a little bit to entertain him. Of course, if +he bites you, we shall have to do something about it, but I don't think +he will bite you." + +Luckily the Prince's memory was not a strong one, and a week after the +owls had been banished, he had forgotten that such birds existed. + +From envying the life and habits of an owl His Serene Highness passed on +to imitating Mrs. Alexander Grant's squint. This was an embarrassing +business, because evidently neither the Colonel nor Snelson liked to +correct him too obviously for fear of hurting Mrs. Grant's feelings. As +for her, either she did not notice that he was manipulating his eyes in +an unusual manner, or she supposed that he was paying her a compliment. +She was such a conceited and idiotic woman that she would have been +flattered even by such imitation. When he first began to squint across +the table at Jasmine, she supposed that it was an old habit of his +temporarily revived; but in the passage the next day Snelson came up to +her and asked if she had noticed anything wrong about His Serene +Highness's eyes. Jasmine suggested that he was squinting a little bit, +and Snelson replied: "It's those owls." + +"I thought he had forgotten all about them." + +"He's for ever now trying to make his eyes look like an owl's." + +"Oh," said Jasmine doubtfully, "I hadn't realized that. I thought that +perhaps...." and then she stopped, for it could not be her place to +comment to the butler on his mistress's squint. + +"You think he's trying to imitate the old lady?" asked Snelson in that +hoarse whisper that clung to his ordinary method of speech from his +manner of asking people at dinner what wine they would take. "Oh no, he +wouldn't ever imitate her. He might imitate you, though!" + +"In what way?" asked Jasmine, rather alarmed. + +"Oh, you never can tell," said Snelson. "He's that ingenious, he'd +imitate anybody. He started off imitating me once, and, of course, +through me not being very tall, I didn't quite like it. The Colonel +thought he was imitating a frog when he came into the room like me, and +if I hadn't been here so long, I should have left. I wish you'd take him +up a bit--you know, encourage him a bit, and all that. Time hangs very +heavy on his hands, poor chap. I got the cook's little nephew once to +come in and amuse him of an afternoon, but it was stopped. Etiquette you +know, and all that. Of course, etiquette's all very well in its way, and +I'm not going to say etiquette isn't necessary within bounds; but he +wants amusing. If you can bring him in a toy now and again when you go +out for a walk. I don't mean anything as looks as if it could be eaten, +because he'll start in right off on anything as looks as if it could be +eaten. But any little nice toy, not that small as he can get it right +into his mouth, and not that big as he can hurt himself with it." + +Jasmine supposed that Snelson knew what he was talking about, and next +day she bought the Prince a small clockwork engine. He enjoyed this for +about two minutes; then he got angry with it and stamped on it; and when +Snelson told him to behave himself, he pulled Snelson's hair, upon which +the Colonel intervened and reproved Jasmine for exciting His Serene +Highness. The atmosphere at 23, The Crescent, began to get on Jasmine's +nerves. It seemed to her pitiable that for the sake of the honour of +being guardians of a royal imbecile her uncle and aunt should abandon +themselves to a mode of life that in her eyes was degrading. The long +dinners dragged themselves out in the November twilights, and though the +Prince ate so fast that if only he had been concerned dinner would have +been over in ten minutes, a pretence of ceremony was maintained, and +the endless courses must have put a strain on the china of the +establishment, for there used to be long waits, during which the Colonel +had a theory that His Serene Highness's moral stability would be +increased by twiddling his thumbs. + +"You may have noticed," he used to say to Jasmine, "how much I insist on +his using his thumbs. You no doubt realize that the main difference +between men and monkeys is that we can use our thumbs. The Prince has a +tendency always to carry his thumbs inside his fingers. I'm sure that if +I could only get him to twiddle them long enough every day, it would be +of great benefit to his development." + +After dinner the old round of double dummy bridge followed by ludo had +begun again, and though an attempt was made to vary the games by the +introduction of halma, halma had to be given up, because once when the +Colonel had succeeded in establishing an impregnable position, His +Serene Highness without any warning popped into his mouth the four +pieces that were holding that position. + +Nor were the drives on fine mornings in the royal barouche much of a +diversion. Jasmine could not help feeling ashamed to be sitting opposite +His Serene Highness when he made one of his glibbering progresses +through Curtain Wells. It seemed to her that by accepting a seat which +marked her social inferiority she was endorsing the detestable servility +of the tradesmen who came out and fawned upon what was after all no +better than a royal ape. She felt that presently she should have to +break out--exactly in what way she did not know, but somehow, she was +sure. Otherwise she felt that the only alternative would be to become as +mad as the Prince himself. Indeed, so much did he get on her nerves that +she found herself imitating him once or twice in front of her glass, +and she began to realize that the proverbial danger of associating with +lunatics was not less great than it was reputed to be. + +Then came the news that the mother of Prince Adalbert, the Grand Duchess +herself, proposed to pay a visit to England shortly, and, what was more, +intended to honour The Crescent, Curtain Wells, by staying in it one +whole night. This news carried Aunt Mildred to the zenith of +self-congratulation, at which height the prospect of the world at her +feet was suddenly obscured by a profound pessimism about the behaviour +of her household during the royal visit. + +"She is travelling strictly incognito, and is not even to bring a +lady-in-waiting," she lamented. + +"Incognita, my dear," corrected the Colonel, who had once added an extra +hundred pounds a year to his pay by proficiency in one European +language. + +"I have it," cried Aunt Mildred, and in the pleasure of her inspiration +she squinted so hard that Jasmine for a moment thought she had something +far more serious than an inspiration. "I have it: you shall act as +parlourmaid when the Grand Duchess comes!" + +"Me?" echoed the Colonel, who in the vigour of her declaration had +forgotten to allow for the squint. However much he owed to his wife for +advancement in his profession, he could not quite stand this. + +"Not you, silly," she said, "Jasmine." + +"What on earth is that going to effect?" he asked. + +"Now don't be so hasty, Alec. You've always tried to snub my little +ideas. I am much more sensible than you think. And more sensible than +anybody thinks," she added. "Ada is an excellent parlourmaid, but she is +a nervous, highly strung girl, and I'm quite sure that the mere +prospect of entertaining the Grand Duchess...." + +"But _she's_ not going to entertain the Grand Duchess," interrupted the +Colonel. + +"Now please don't muddle me up with petty little distinctions between +one word and another," said Aunt Mildred. "You know perfectly well what +I mean. 'Look after' if you prefer it. Ada has never been trained to +look after royalty." + +"Nor have I," Jasmine put in. "Snelson's the only person in this house +who has been trained to look after royalty." + +"Jasmine, I'd rather you were not vulgar," said Aunt Mildred +reprovingly. "It's extraordinary the way girls nowadays don't respect +anything. If you and Uncle Alec would only wait a moment and not be so +ready both of you to pounce on me before I have finished what I was +going to say, you might have understood that the suggestion was made +partly because I appreciate your manners, partly because I have +travelled a great deal and don't find your little foreign ways so +irritating as your other relations did.... Where was I? If you and your +uncle _will_ argue with me, I can't be expected to plan things out as I +should like. Where was I, Alec?" + +"I really don't know," said the Colonel almost bitterly. "All I know is +that Ada's a perfectly good parlourmaid fit to wait on anybody. If the +Grand Duchess comes without a lady-in-waiting, she comes without a +lady-in-waiting to please herself. Really, my dear, you give the +impression that you are unused to royalty." + +To what state the hitherto tranquil married life of Colonel and Mrs. +Alexander Grant might have been reduced if the discussion about the +fitness of Jasmine to act as temporary parlourmaid during the Grand +Duchess's visit had gone on much longer, it would be hard to say. The +problem was solved, for Jasmine at any rate, by two telegrams arriving +within half an hour of one another, one from Aunt May to say that +Lettice and Pamela were both ill with scarlet fever, and another from +Aunt Cuckoo to say that her little son was ill without specifying the +complaint. Both telegrams concluded with the suggestion that Jasmine +should pack up at once and come to the rescue. Jasmine would have +preferred to go straight away to Aunt Cuckoo; but aware as she was of +Aunt Cuckoo's fickleness and knowing that, if she did go to Aunt Cuckoo +in preference to Aunt May, Aunt May would never forgive her, a prospect +that a short time ago she would not have minded, but which now she +rather dreaded, for since her visit to Curtain Wells she was feeling +afraid of the future, she tried to avoid making a decision for herself +by consulting Uncle Alec and Aunt Mildred. Both of them were sure that +she should go to Aunt May, and Aunt Mildred pointed out with what for +her was excellent logic: "Lettice and Pamela are both ill and they are +both her daughters, whereas this infant is not Aunt Cuckoo's son, and if +Aunt Cuckoo deliberately adopts sons she ought to be able to look after +them herself." + +"In fact," the Colonel said, "I should not be surprised to receive a +telegram from Eneas asking _me_ to look after Aunt Cuckoo. Well, we +shall miss you here," he added; but Jasmine could see that he was really +very glad that she was going. Aunt Mildred too was evidently not sorry +to escape from the argument about the parlourmaid. Now she could go on +believing for the rest of her life that if Jasmine had stayed she would +have had her way and turned her into a temporary parlourmaid for the +benefit of the Grand Duchess. + +The Prince, whose capacity for differentiating the various human +emotions was most indefinite, danced up and down with delight at hearing +that Jasmine was going away. Aunt Mildred tried to explain that he was +really dancing with sorrow; but it appeared presently that the Prince +had an idea that he was going away with her, and that he really had been +dancing with delight, his capacity for differentiating the human +emotions not being quite so indefinite as it was thought to be. When he +found that Jasmine was going away without him, he could not be pacified +until Snelson had got into a large clothes-basket, and pretended to be +something that Jasmine never knew. Whatever it was, the Prince was +reconciled to her departure, and the last she saw of him he was sitting +cross-legged in front of the clothes-basket with an expression on his +face of divine content. She thought to herself with a laugh as she drove +off that Snelson would probably spend many hours in the clothes-basket +during the next two or three weeks. In fact, he would probably spend +most of his time in that clothes-basket, until the Prince found another +pet upon which to lavish his admiration, or until he grew envious of +Snelson's lot and decided to occupy the clothes-basket himself. + + + + +_Chapter Eleven_ + + +There is no doubt that if Lady Grant could have found the smallest +pretext for blaming her niece, she would have held her responsible for +the scarlet fever which had attacked her daughters. As it was, she had +to be content with dwelling upon the inconvenience of Jasmine's +succumbing to the malady. + +"You so easily might catch it," she pointed out, "that I do hope you'll +bear in mind what a nuisance it would be for us all if you did catch it. +Of course, those who understand about these things may decide it would +be more prudent if you did not expose yourself to any risk by going to +visit the poor girls." Lady Grant could never miss an opportunity to +emphasize the mysterious and sacerdotal omniscience that belonged to the +profession of medicine. "Those who understand about these things will +tell us what we must do. But meanwhile, although I am only speaking as +an ignoramus in these matters, I should say that if you always +remembered to disinfect your clothes and all that sort of thing and were +very careful to follow the doctor's directions, there would be no danger +of your catching scarlet fever yourself. I need not tell you what a +terrible blow it was to me when I had to give my consent to their being +taken away from Harley Street to a nursing home. A terrible blow! But +your uncle felt that it would not be fair to his patients if they stayed +in the house. That's the worst of being a doctor. He has to think of +everybody. Poor dear children, and there's so little one can do! In fact +there's really nothing one can do except take the darlings grapes every +day." + +The rules of the nursing home were more strict than Lady Grant had +expected, and, much to her indignation, permission to visit the patients +was denied to Jasmine, who thereupon suggested that, since she could not +be of any use in nursing her cousins, she ought to go and help Aunt +Cuckoo with the illness of her adopted son. + +"And what about me?" demanded her aunt. "You seem to forget, my dear +child, and your Aunt Cuckoo seems to forget, that I have a slight claim +to consideration. As if the girls' illness was not enough, Cousin Edith +must needs go and carelessly visit some friend of hers at Enfield and +bring back with her a violent cold, so that what with her sniffling and +sneezing and snuffling it's quite impossible to stay in the same room +with her. So, at this moment of all others, I am left entirely at the +mercy of the servants, who after all have quite enough work of their own +to run the house properly, and really I'm afraid I cannot see why you +should go to Aunt Cuckoo." + +It was thus that Jasmine found herself after what Aunt May now called +her adventures of the last eighteen months in that very position which +Aunt May had no doubt arranged in her mind when she first wrote and +insisted on her niece's leaving Sirene and coming to England. Cousin +Edith's cold, which Jasmine had to admit was one of the most aggressive, +the most persistent, the most maddening colds she had ever listened to, +was ascribed by Aunt May to the London climate in winter, and as soon as +Jasmine was fairly at work on her aunt's correspondence, Cousin Edith +was sent away to recuperate in Bognor, where it was generally understood +at 317, Harley Street she would remain for the rest of her life. If +anything more than the cold had been needed to confirm Aunt May in her +resolve to get rid of Cousin Edith, it was the death of Spot. + +"So long as poor old Spot was alive," she said to Jasmine, "I never +liked to send poor Edith away. The poor old dog was very devoted to her, +and I'm bound to say that poor Edith with all her faults was very +devoted to dear old Spot. But Spot has gone now, and I don't feel +inclined to form fresh ties by getting a puppy. Puppies have to be +trained, and I very much doubt if Cousin Edith is capable of training a +puppy nowadays. She seems to have gone all to pieces since she caught +this cold. I told her at the time that I could not understand why she +wanted to make that long journey to Enfield. She came back on the +outside of the tram, you know. It's all so unnecessary." + +Spot had died when the famous cold was at its worst, and the grief +Cousin Edith had tried to express was not more effective than a puddle +in a deluge. The body was sent to the Dogs' Cemetery, and through having +to represent Cousin Edith at the funeral Jasmine nearly caught a cold +herself. She did sneeze once or twice when she got home; but Aunt May +talked at such length about colds that Jasmine made up her mind that she +simply would not have a cold, and she actually succeeded in driving it +away, for which her aunt took all the credit. + +The night before Cousin Edith left to recuperate at Bognor she invited +Jasmine up to her room, when Jasmine realized that the poor relation was +perfectly aware what a long convalescence hers was going to be, and +perfectly aware that her visit to the seaside would only be terminated +by her death. + +"In many ways, of course," she said, "I shall enjoy Bognor, and in many +ways I shall probably be happier at Bognor than I have ever been here. +I quite understand that Cousin May requires somebody more active than +myself. She is a woman of immense energy, and when I look at her nose I +sometimes think that there may after all be something in character +reading by the face. I often meant to take it up seriously. I once +bought a book on physiognomy when I was a girl and gave readings at a +bazaar. I made quite a lot of money, I remember--sixteen shillings. It +was for a new set of bells for my uncle's church at Market Addleby. As +his curate said to me, very beautifully and poetically, I thought, when +I handed him the sixteen shillings: 'You will always be able to think, +Miss Crossfield'--my uncle never encouraged him to call us by our +Christian names on account of the parish--'always able to think every +time the new bells ring out for one of our great Church festivals, that +your little labour of love this afternoon and this evening has +contributed a melodious note to one of the most joyful chimes.' I +remember my uncle, who was a very jocular man for a clergyman, observed +when this was repeated to him that if I had only made a little more +money it might have been called Edith's five-pound note. I remember we +all laughed very much at this at the time. But as I was saying to you, +my dear ... let me see, what was I saying to you?... oh yes, I remember +now, I wanted to give you this little brooch which contains some of my +grandmother's hair when she was a baby. I've often noticed that you've +very few little mementoes; I noticed it because I haven't very many +myself. Now with regard to this room, which you will probably occupy +when I've gone, it really is a delightful room, in fact the only little +fault it has is that the bell doesn't ring. In some respects that is not +a bad fault, because no doubt the servants do not like answering bells +all the time, and I think I have been rather tactful in never once +suggesting that it should be mended. I'm only telling you this so that +you shall not go on ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing under +the impression that the bell is making the least sound. I remember it +was quite a long time before I found out that it was broken, and I +derived an impression at first that the servants were deliberately not +answering this particular bell. I shall miss poor old Spot very much, +but Hargreaves has a married sister whose cat has a very nice kitten +which she wants to give away, and her little boy is meeting me with it +in a basket at Victoria to-morrow. If you are ever down at Bognor at any +time, of course I shall be very glad to see you and give you a cup of +tea. My address will be 88, Seaview Terrace. You can see the sea from +the corner of the road, so you won't forget the name of the road. But +how will you remember the number? Of course, it's eleven times eight, +but you might forget that too." + +"I'll write it down," said Jasmine brightly. + +Cousin Edith looked dubious. "Of course, yes, to be sure you can do +that. But supposing you mislay the address?" + +"Well, I don't think I shall ever forget eighty-eight," Jasmine affirmed +with conviction. + +Cousin Edith had worn black ever since it was settled that she was to +leave Harley Street, or perhaps it was a tribute to the late Spot. +Jasmine, looking at her, thought that she resembled a daddy-longlegs +less nowadays and more one of those wintry flies that survive the first +frosts of autumn and spend their time walking up and down window panes +in an attempt to suggest that if the window were open they would be out +and about, delighting in the brisk wintry weather. + +"Well, good-bye," Cousin Edith was saying. "I shall be in such +confusion to-morrow morning that I may not have time then to say +good-bye to you properly. I won't kiss you on the mouth because of my +cold. I wonder if you will be as sorry to leave 317, Harley Street as I +am, when _you_ have been here fifteen years." + +Jasmine thought for a moment that Cousin Edith was being malicious and +sarcastic; but apparently she meant exactly what she had said. + +The next day Jasmine moved into the vacant room, and if Cousin Edith's +mourning brooch had contained a lock of her own hair instead of a +grandmother's she would not have thought it inappropriate, for the +departure of the poor relation had impressed her mind like a death more +than a visit to the seaside. + +It is hardly possible to picture anybody who lives between Baker Street +and Portland Road, however happy he may be, however much in love with +life he may feel, as able to maintain an attitude toward life more vital +than the exhibition of waxworks in the galleries of Madame Tussaud. +There were moments when Jasmine felt that the waxworks were the real +population of this district, and sometimes when in the late dusk or at +night she was walking down Harley Street or any of the neighbouring +streets she would receive a strong impression that all the houses were +serving like stage scenery to give nothing but an illusion of reality. +This morbid fancy might be justified by the fact that so many of the +houses actually were unoccupied at night, and that in the daytime they +were haunted not inhabited by figures in the world of medicine who by +the uniformity and convention of their gestures and observations had no +more life than waxworks. Moreover, passers-by in Harley Street and the +neighbourhood had among them such a large proportion of sick men and +women that even if one ignored the successive brass plates of the +doctors, their presence alone would be enough to cast a gloom on any +observer that happened to come into daily contact with such a procession +of afflicted individuals. + +Jasmine's window, high up in the front of the house, never contributed +anything to the gaiety of her private meditations, and she used to think +that if a famous prisoner, he of Chillon or any other, had been invited +to change his outlook with her own, he would soon have begged to be put +back in his dungeon. Many human beings, ailing, miserable, +poverty-stricken, victims of misfortune or suppliants of fate, have +found in a window their salvation. Jasmine was not one of these. She +never seemed able to look out of her window without seeing some +hunched-up man or wrapped-up woman who was being helped up a flight of +steps, at the head of which the conventionally neat parlourmaid would +admit them to their doom; and she used to picture these patients when +the sleek doors closed behind them being greeted by the various doctors +in attitudes like those of the poisoners in the Chamber of Horrors. +There was one figure, that of Neil Cream, a gigantic man with a ragged +beard and glasses, who stood for her behind every door in Harley Street. +In fact, Jasmine was suffering now when she was twenty the kind of +nervous distortions of imagination and apprehension through which most +London children pass at about eight. And really, considering her +experiences in England since she arrived from Italy, so many of them had +to do with disease and death and madness that her morbid condition was +excusable. When she was staying with Uncle Alec and Aunt Mildred she had +been amused by Prince Adalbert, but now, looking back at that +experience, she began to feel frightened, just as when one sees a +ghost, one is more frightened when the ghost has vanished than when it +is actually present. Looking back now on Uncle Matthew's illness she was +again seized by a fear and repulsion which at the time had been merged +in indignation. Looking back on her visit to Aunt Cuckoo and Uncle +Eneas, the whole of it was now shrouded in an atmosphere of +unhealthiness; and looking back further still to her last memory of +Sirene, even that was blackened by the sorrow of her father's sudden +death. As for the house she was living in at the moment, her sensitive +mind could not fail to be affected by the thought that so many of the +people who passed along that spacious hall and waited round that sombre +table littered with old _Punches_ and _Tatlers_ and odd numbers of +unusual magazines were either mad or moving in the direction of madness. +Sir Hector Grant's waiting-room was probably one of the most oppressive +in Harley Street, because it had no window, but was lighted from above +by a green dome of glass, to Jasmine curiously symbolical of the kind of +imprisonment to which madness subjects the human soul. The absence of +Lettice and Pamela at the nursing home, although Jasmine had not the +slightest desire to see them or hear them ever again, added in its own +way to the general air of depression. When Lettice and Pamela were in +the house the sense of contact with the ordinary frivolities of the +world was never absent; but without them the house became nothing but a +cul-de-sac, a kind of condemned cell, so deep did it lie under the spell +of dreadful verdicts. + +In addition to these influences that spoilt her leisure time, Jasmine's +work with her aunt did not encourage her to look upon the brighter side +of life. Those numerous charities were no doubt a pleasure and a pride +to their originator, but Jasmine, who lacked the sustenance of the +egotism that inspired them, was only impressed by the continuous +reminder they gave her of the world's misery. The Club for Tired +Sandwichmen was for Aunt May something upon which to congratulate +herself, an idea that had occurred to no other prominent philanthropist. +It was Jasmine's duty to harrow subscribers' feelings with details of +the private lives of sandwichmen in order to extract from them as much +as would help to maintain the three bleak rooms in a small street off +Leicester Square, where these wrecks and ruins of human endeavour could +take refuge from the rain and cold outside. Upon Lady Grant herself the +individual made not the least impression unless he came into the Club +drunk and broke one of the chairs, in which case she interested herself +sufficiently in his future to banish him from the paradise she had +created. + +When Jasmine first again took up secretarial work for her aunt, she +wrote all the letters. + +"But really I think I shall have to find you another typewriter," said +Aunt May after a week of this. "I always understood that +convent-educated girls were taught to write well; but your handwriting +resembles the marks made by a fly that has fallen into the ink-pot." + +"I think I feel rather like a fly that has fallen into the ink-pot," +said Jasmine. + +Her aunt did not pay any attention to this retort; but a few days later +the new typewriter arrived, and it was conferred upon her as if it was a +motor-car for her own use. + +"I really do think that with this beautiful new machine you might do +some of Sir Hector's work too," suggested Aunt May. "That is, if he can +be persuaded to send a typewritten letter." + +Luckily for Jasmine Sir Hector's ideas of the courtesy owing from a +medical baronet did not allow him to do this. He continued to employ a +clerk with a copper-plate hand to send in his bills, so Jasmine was not +called upon to help him in any way. + +"You will have a lot of time on your hands," Aunt May regretfully sighed +after her husband had declined the use of the typewriter for himself. +"Don't I remember your once saying that you sewed very well? That, +surely, they must have taught you at the convent. Cousin Edith used +sometimes to sew for me, and there is always her machine standing idle." + +Perhaps Cousin Edith's ingratiating touch had spoilt that machine for +another. When Jasmine tried her hand on it, it behaved like an angry +dog, gathering up the piece of work, the hem of which it was being +invited to stitch, worrying it and pleating it and tearing pieces off it +and chewing up these pieces, until first the needle snapped and then +some of the mechanism made a noise like a half empty box of bricks. It +was plain that nothing more could be done with it. + +"Ruined," declared Aunt May when she came upstairs to see how Jasmine +was getting on. "Well, I hope you'll take a little more trouble over the +flowers for the dinner-table to-night." + +The only mechanical device that Jasmine could think of in connection +with flowers was a lawn-mower, so she felt safe in promising that the +dinner-table should present an appearance of a little more trouble +having been taken with it than with the piece of work in the +sewing-machine. These dinner parties were by no means the least +irritating products of her cousins' illness, which had struck Lady Grant +as an excellent opportunity for inviting all their most ineligible +acquaintances while her daughters were away; and Jasmine, who did not +enjoy even the pleasure of being able to choose between more than two +evening frocks, felt bored by these dreary men and women, for whose +existence she could not imagine any possible reason, let alone discover +a reason for asking them out to dinner. Two or three days before one of +these occasions Aunt May's invariable formula was that Jasmine was going +to be put next to a most interesting man, and always half an hour before +the gong sounded she would decide that she must take Mrs. So-and-so's or +Miss What's-her-name's place next to somebody who was not interesting at +all. She was used, in fact, by her aunt very much as umbrellas are used +to reserve seats in a train. + +A month or five weeks passed thus, after which Lettice and Pamela +emerged from hospital, unable to talk of anything for several days +except the details of their peeling. It was now decided that they +required change of air, and the question of Jasmine's ability to look +after her uncle while his wife and daughters went to Mentone was debated +at some length. + +"It would be such an opportunity for you to learn housekeeping," said +Aunt May. "And if you were a success, who knows, I might even let you +take entire charge of the house when I come back. I wonder...." She +hesitated, awe-struck by her vision of the future. "I don't want to move +Cousin Edith from Bognor. Her cold is quite well now, and it would be +such a pity to start her off with it again. And she's apt to irritate +your uncle in little things. Of course, he likes people to be attentive +to him; but he hates them to make a show of being attentive. And Cousin +Edith was always rather apt to make a show of being attentive. You won't +do that, will you, dear?" + +Jasmine promised that she would not do that, and in the end she was left +with her uncle in charge of the house. She decided at once that the only +way to manage Hargreaves and Hopkins and the rest of the servants was to +make friends of them and become as it were one of themselves. On the +whole she rather liked this, and she found that down in the kitchen +below the level of Harley Street even Cook became a human figure. As for +Hopkins and Hargreaves, they were like butterflies emerging from those +two pupæ that waited on the other side of the baize door separating the +world below stairs from the world above. + +Jasmine found that this communion with the servants was the only natural +way in which she could still associate with humanity, and in consequence +of it she found herself being more and more completely cut off every day +from the family with which she was living. Lady Grant would +unquestionably have condemned such society as degrading; but since +nothing was offered her in its place, Jasmine continued to frequent the +servants' company, and before many weeks had elapsed she had almost come +to regard her cousins, her aunt, and her uncle from the point of view of +the servants' hall, as eccentric beings living in a queer inaccessible +world. She used to think that she might just as well have been left +quietly in Sirene. Looking back on the motives for bringing her to +England, it was now clear to Jasmine that no real consideration for her +future had actuated any of her relatives. She did not mean to suggest to +herself that they had consciously or deliberately thought out a plan by +which she could be made useful to each in turn; but they all of them had +tried to make her useful, and she supposed that such an attempt was like +the instinct that leads a person to accept a useless ornament for a bad +debt rather than be left with nothing. They had probably all been +afraid that if she stayed in Sirene by herself, sooner or later some +scandal would supervene which would necessitate more trouble in the +future than they felt bound to exert in the present. Really, she thought +to herself, she should be happier if she quite definitely ceased to be +Miss Jasmine Grant, and became Jasmine, a parlourmaid. But, of course, +Jasmine would be considered too flowery a name for service, and she +should be known as Grant. Grant! A not unimpressive name for a +parlourmaid. She once actually discussed the project with Hargreaves, +Hopkins, and Cook; but they evidently thought she was mad to suggest +such a thing; they evidently thought it would be better to go on serving +in Heaven than begin to reign in Hell; not one of them had a trace of +Lucifer in her temperament. + +And so a dreary year passed away, a long dreary year during which +Jasmine's most breathless and most daring ambition was to be a +parlourmaid, her most poignant regret that she had not stayed long +enough at Curtain Wells to have rehearsed the part. + +"I cannot say how greatly I think you have improved, Jasmine," said Aunt +May one day just a year after Jasmine had gone to Harley Street. "You +were so wild at first, so heedless and impulsive. But I notice with +pleasure that you are quite changed. I was speaking about it to your +uncle to-day, and I suggested to him that as a token of our appreciation +of the effort you have made to recognize what we have already done for +you we should allow you an extra ten pounds a year. You are at present +getting ten pounds a quarter, and we discussed for quite half an hour +whether it would be better to allow you twelve pounds ten shillings a +quarter or to present you with the extra ten pounds all at once, say on +your birthday or at Christmas or on some such occasion. Of course, we +did not want you to suppose that you are to regard this in any way as a +substitute for a Christmas present. It is not. No, you are to regard it +as an expression of our approval." + +Ever since she had been in England, Jasmine had ceased to believe in the +reality of anything talked about beforehand, so she thought no more +about that extra ten pounds. But sure enough at Christmas she received +it, and not only the ten pounds, but also a parrot-headed umbrella from +Aunt May, a sachet of handkerchiefs from Lettice, the particular +monstrosity in porcelain that was in vogue at the time from Pamela, and +a kiss from Sir Hector. + +Although Lettice and Pamela were not yet even engaged to be married, +social life at 317, Harley Street was conducted on the principle that at +any moment they might be. There could have been few young men about town +who had escaped having tea there at least once. None of them interested +Jasmine in the least, and it was perhaps just as well that she was not +interested, because if she had been interested she would certainly have +had no opportunity of displaying her interest owing to the fact that she +always had to pour out tea. A woman pouring out tea for one man can make +of the gesture a most alluring business; but a woman pouring out tea for +twenty young men cannot escape disenchantment, however charming she may +be at leisure. The fumes of the teapot, the steam from the kettle, the +wrinkles provoked by her attempt to remember who said he did and who +said he did not take sugar, all these combine to ravage the sweetest +face. As for the dinner parties, although they belonged to another order +of dinner parties compared with those given when Lettice and Pamela +were away, there always seemed to be one person at least for whose +presence of a dinner party, nay more, for whose very existence in the +world no excuse could be found. This person invariably took in Jasmine. +No doubt her relatives individually never intended to be positively +unkind. Whatever unkindness came to the surface was inherent in her +position as a poor relation. Besides, nowadays she seldom offered any +occasion for people to be unkind to her. She sometimes would ask herself +with a show of indignation how she had allowed herself to surrender to +this extent; but she had to admit that from the moment she entered +Strathspey House she had foreseen the possibility of such a life's being +in store for herself, and looking back at her behaviour during the first +eighteen months of her stay, she could not see that at any point she had +made a really determined stand against this kind of life. To be sure, +she had had a few quarrels and arguments; she had delivered a few +retorts. But what ineffective self-assertion it had all been! She had +had at any rate one opportunity of striking out for herself during Uncle +Matthew's illness, and what a muddle she had made of it, because she had +been too proud to force herself upon Uncle Matthew, and because with a +foolish dignity that was in reality nothing but humility she had given +way to his unwillingness to confess an obligation. + +And another year passed; a year of writing letters for her aunt in the +morning, of going downstairs to see Cook about this, and of going +upstairs to talk to Hargreaves about that, of running round the corner +to Debenham and Freebody's to see if they could match this for the +girls, or of spending the whole morning at Marshall and Snelgrove's with +her aunt to see if they could match that for her. + +On Christmas morning Lady Grant took her niece aside and confided to +her that, so heavy had been her own expenses and so heavy had been Sir +Hector's expenses, she was sure Jasmine would understand if she did not +receive the extra ten pounds as usual. To hear Aunt May, one might have +supposed that the donation had been customary since her niece's birth. + +"Our expenses are going to be even heavier this year," she announced. +"There is so much entertaining to do nowadays." + +When she first came to England Jasmine might have commented at this +point on the fact that Lettice would be thirty next birthday and that +Pamela was well in sight of being twenty-nine. But two complete years in +Harley Street had taken away her desire to score visibly, and she was +content nowadays with a faint smile to herself. + +"What are you laughing at?" her aunt asked. "It is one of the few rather +irritating little tricks you still have, that habit of smiling to +yourself suddenly when I am talking to you. Some people might think you +were laughing at me." + +"Oh no, Aunt May," Jasmine protested. + +"No, of course I know you are not laughing at me," her aunt allowed. +"But I think it's a habit you should try to cure yourself of. It's apt +to make you seem a little vapid sometimes." + +"Yes, I often feel rather vapid," Jasmine admitted. + +"Then all the more reason why you should not let other people notice +it," said her aunt; and Jasmine did not argue the point further. + +The loss of the ten pounds meant that Jasmine would not be able to have +a new evening frock that winter. She was not yet sufficiently dulled by +Harley Street not to feel disappointed at this. It has to be a very +beautiful evening frock which does not look dowdy after being worn twice +a week throughout the year, and the better of Jasmine's two evening +frocks was nothing more than pretty and simple on the evening she put it +on for the first time. + +"Another long miserable year," she thought. "Nothing new till the +twenty-fifth of March. All this quarter's allowance has gone in +Christmas presents." + +Jasmine's most conspicuous present that year was a sunshade that Aunt +May had bought at the July sales. + +"As if one wanted a sunshade in England," Jasmine said to herself. + + + + +_Chapter Twelve_ + + +The new year opened with such a blaze of entertaining that even +Hargreaves, who was much more reticent than Hopkins, allowed herself to +observe to Jasmine that it really seemed as if her ladyship was +determined to find husbands for Miss Lettice and Miss Pamela at last. +The atmosphere of the house was charged with that kind of accumulated +energy which is the external characteristic of all great charitable +efforts. If Lettice had been a new church tower that had to be paid for +or if Pamela had been a new wing for a hospital, it would have been +impossible to promote a fiercer intensity of desire to accomplish +something at all costs no matter what or how. January twinkled like a +Christmas tree with minor festivals; but on February 14th--the date was +appropriate, although it was not chosen deliberately--Lady Grant was to +give a large dance in the Empress Rooms. + +"And if it's successful," she told Jasmine, "I daresay I shall give +another dance in May." + +Jasmine refrained from saying "If it's unsuccessful, you mean," and +merely indulged in one of those irritating little smiles. + +"Oh, and by the way," her aunt added, "did you see that your old friend +Harry Vibart has succeeded to the title?" + +She looked at her niece keenly when she made this announcement; but +Jasmine was determined not to give her the gratification of a +self-conscious blush. Nor was it very difficult to appear indifferent to +the news, because, as she assured herself, Harry Vibart, by his +readiness to acquiesce in her decree of banishment and by his complete +silence for over two and a half years, was no longer of any emotional +importance. At the same time, no girl who had been compelled to spend +such an empty or rather such a drearily full two years as she had just +spent could have helped letting her mind wander back for a moment, could +have helped wondering whether if she had behaved differently, everything +might not have been different. + +"Of course, one does not want to say too much," said Lady Grant, "but +one cannot help remembering what great friends he and the girls were +some years ago, and really I think ... yes, really I think, Jasmine, it +would be only polite if we sent him an invitation." + +Jasmine's heart began to beat faster; not on account of the prospect of +meeting Harry Vibart again, but with the effort of preventing herself +from saying what she really thought of her aunt's impudent distortion of +the true facts of the case. + +The re-entry of one person from the past into her life was followed by +the re-entry of another; for that very afternoon, a bleak January +afternoon of brown fog, Hopkins came up to tell Jasmine that Miss Butt +had called to see her and to ask where should she be shown? The only +people who ever came to see Jasmine were dressmakers with whom she had +been negotiating on behalf of her aunt and her cousins, and for whose +misfits Jasmine was to be held responsible. These dressmakers were +usually interviewed in the dining-room; but Hopkins informed Jasmine +that Miss Butt had emphatically declined to be shown upstairs and had +expressed a wish to interview her in the servants' hall. Such a request +had affronted Hopkins' conception of etiquette, and she was anxious to +know what Jasmine intended to do about it. Jasmine was on sufficiently +intimate terms with the servants by now to explain at once that Miss +Butt and her ladyship were never on any account to be allowed to meet +face to face, and she asked Hopkins if she thought that Cook would mind +if in the circumstances she made use of the servants' hall. + +"No, Miss Jasmine, I don't think she would at all," said Hopkins. "In +fact from what I could see of it when I come upstairs, they was getting +on very well together. But I didn't think it right to say you'd come +down and see her there, until I had found out from you whether you +would." + +"All right, Amanda, I'll come down at once." Nowadays Jasmine was +allowed in her own room to call Hopkins Amanda. + +Mrs. Curtis, the cook of 317, Harley Street, was a woman of some +majesty, and when she was seated in her arm-chair on the right of the +hearth in the servants' hall, she conveyed as much as anyone Jasmine had +ever seen the aroma of a regal hospitality mingled with a regal +condescension. When Jasmine beheld the scene in the servants' hall she +could easily have imagined that she was watching a meeting between two +queens. Selina, in a crimson blanket coat, wearing a ruby coloured hat +much befurred, with a musquash stole thrown back from her shoulders, was +evidently informing Mrs. Curtis of the state of her kingdom; Mrs. Curtis +was nodding in august approval, and from time to time turning her head +to invite a comment from Hargreaves, who like a lady-in-waiting, stood +at the head of her chair, whispering from time to time: "Quite so, Mrs. +Curtis." Grouped on the other side of the table and not venturing to sit +down, the junior servants listened to the conversation like respectful +and attentive courtiers. + +As soon as Selina saw Jasmine, she jumped up from her chair and embraced +her warmly. + +"An old friend come to see you," said Cook with immense benignity. + +"Dear Selina!" Jasmine exclaimed. "How nice to see you again!" + +"The pleasure's on both sides," said Selina. "Mrs. Vokins is dead." + +Jasmine looked at Selina in astonishment. Nothing in the style of her +attire suggested such an announcement; in fact, she could not remember +ever having seen Selina wear colours before, and that she should have +chosen to break out into crimson on the occasion of her friend's death +was incomprehensible. + +"When did she die?" + +"Six months ago," said Selina. "And I went into strict mourning for six +months. Last night she appeared to me, as I've just been telling Mrs. +Curtis here. She said she was very happy in heaven; told me to stop +mourning for her, and pop round to see you." + +"Wonderful, isn't it?" Mrs. Curtis demanded from her juniors, who +murmured an unanimous and discreet echo of assent. + +"Then Mrs. Vokins was saved after all?" said Jasmine. "I remember you +used to think that she couldn't be saved." + +"Some of us think wrong sometimes," said Selina. + +"That's true, Miss Butt," put in Cook. + +"Some of us think very wrong sometimes," Selina continued. "And it's +perfectly clear Mrs. Vokins was sent down to me to say as I'd been +thinking wrong." + +"Wonderful, isn't it?" Cook demanded once more. + +"'I'm very happy in heaven, Miss Butt,' was her words, and though I +hadn't time to ask exackly which of my friends and relations was up +there with her, I put it to myself it was unlikely Mrs. Vokins would +call and tell me she was very happy unless she shortly expected me to +join her. She was never a woman who cared to disappoint anybody. So I'm +looking forward to seeing a lot of people I never expected to see again. +In fact I've given up the Children of Zion and turned Church of England, +which my poor mother always was, until a clergyman spoke to her in a way +no clergyman ought to speak, telling her what to do and what not to do, +until she turned round in his face and became a Primitive Methodist, +where she always poured out the tea at the New Year's gathering. Yes, +Mrs. Vokins has been a good friend to me, and she's been a good friend +to you, because she put it into my head to come down here and ask you if +you'd like to come and live in my rooms at Catford where she used to +live, with the use of the kitchen three times a week as per +arrangement." + +"Dear Selina, it's very kind of you to invite me," said Jasmine, "but +..." she broke off with a sigh. + +"Which means you won't come," said Selina. "That I expected; and if Mrs. +Vokins hadn't of been in such a hurry, I should have told her as much +before she went. She vanished in a moment before I even had time to say +how well she was looking. 'Radiant as an angel,' they say; and Mrs. +Vokins was looking radiant. 'You certainly are looking celestial,' was +what I should like to have said." + +"Why haven't you been to see me all these two years?" asked Jasmine. + +At this point, Mrs. Curtis, realizing that Jasmine and her friend might +have matters to discuss which it would be undignified for them to +discuss before the servants, asked the scullery-maid sharply if she +intended to get those greens ready, or if she expected herself, Mrs. +Curtis, to get them ready. The reproof administered to the scullery-maid +was accepted by her fellow-servants as a hint for them to leave Jasmine +and her visitor together, and when they were gone Mrs. Curtis, rising +from her arm-chair like Leviathan from the deep, supposed that after all +she should have to go and look after that girl. + +"For girls, Miss Butt, nowadays.... Well, I needn't tell you what girls +are. You know." + +"Yes, I know," said Selina. "A lot of rabbits." + +"That's very true, Miss Butt; a lot of rabbits," echoed Cook solemnly as +she sailed from the room. + +"Well, why haven't you been to see me, Selina?" Jasmine persisted when +they were alone. + +"Why haven't you been to see _me_?" + +"How could I? Uncle Matthew never invited me. Surely, Selina, you can +understand I didn't want to force myself where I wasn't wanted. The last +thing I wanted to do was to give him the impression that I wanted +anything from him. He's had plenty of opportunities to ask for me if he +wished to see me. My cousins have been over to see him lots of times." + +"They have," agreed Selina, grimly. + +"And they never brought me back any message." + +"That doesn't say no message was sent," said Selina. "You know as well +as I know Mr. Rouncivell never sends a letter of his own accord. He +can't bring himself to it. I've seen him sit by the hour holding a stamp +in his hand the same as I've seen boys holding butterflies between their +fingers." + +"Well, you could have written to me," Jasmine pointed out. + +"I could have," Selina asserted. "And I ought to have; but I didn't. +It's not a bit of good you going on talking about what people ought to +have done. If we once get on that subject we shall go on talking here +for ever. And it's no good being offended with me, even if you won't +show a Christian spirit and go and live at Catford. I think you ought to +have learnt to forgive by now. I've been forgiving people by the dozen +these last two days. And although I don't think I shall, still you never +know, and I may go so far as to forgive _her_," Selina declared pointing +with her forefinger at the ceiling to indicate whom she meant. + +Jasmine tried to explain that she no longer felt herself capable of +taking such a drastic step as going to live in Catford. She found it +hard to convince Selina how impossible it was to accept her charity, and +she was quite sure that her relatives would not dream of continuing her +allowance should she go to Catford. + +"In fact, my dear Selina, I think you'd better let me alone. I think +that some people in this world are meant to occupy the kind of position +I occupy, and I've got hardened to it. I don't really care a bit any +more. I have enjoyed seeing you very much, and I hope you will come and +see me again. It really isn't worth while for me to make any effort to +get away from this. It really isn't." + +Selina lectured Jasmine for a while on her lack of Christian +spirit--evidently Christian spirit to her mind conveyed something +between willingness to forgive and courage to defy--and then rising +abruptly she said she must be off. Jasmine heard nothing more from her +for some time after this. + +Ten days before the dance at the Empress Rooms Sir Hector, for what he +insisted was the first time in his life, was taken ill. He was +apparently not suffering from anything more serious than a slight +bronchial cold, but he made such a fuss about it that Jasmine was ready +to believe it really was the first time in his life he had ever been +ill. In addition to his apprehensions about his own condition and the +various maladies that might supervene, he seemed to think that his +illness was something in the nature of a national disaster, like a coal +strike or a great war. + +"Dear me," said his wife. "I'm afraid it looks as if you won't be at the +dance." + +"Dance!" shouted Sir Hector as loudly as his cold would let him. "Of +course I shan't be at the dance. Even if I'm well enough to be out of +bed, which is very improbable, I certainly shan't be well enough to go +out. And if I were well enough to go out, which is practically +impossible, I certainly shouldn't be well enough to stand about in +draughts. No, I shall stay at home. It's a fearful nuisance being ill +like this. I can't think why I should get ill. I never _am_ ill." + +"It's dreadfully disappointing," said Aunt May soothingly. "We had such +a particularly nice lot of young men coming. All dancing men, too, so +you wouldn't have had to talk to them for more than a minute. I don't +like to put it off. I never think things go so well after they've been +put off." + +"Oh, no, for goodness' sake don't put it off," said Sir Hector. "Quite +enough things have been put off on account of my illness as it is. The +Duchess of Shropshire is in despair because I can't go and see her. She +can't stand Williamson." Dr. Williamson was Sir Hector's assistant. +"Nothing serious, of course, but it creates such a bad impression if a +man like me is ill. It shakes my confidence in myself. I can't think +where I got this cold." + +"People do get colds very often in January," said his wife. + +"Other people get colds. I never do. Now what is that horrible mess that +Jasmine is holding in her hand? It's no good just feeding me up on these +messes and thinking that that is going to cure me: because it isn't." + +Jasmine was expecting every minute to hear her aunt regretfully inform +her that owing to Sir Hector's condition it would be impossible for her +to go to the ball, because somebody would be required to stay at home +and look after the invalid. To her surprise nothing was said about this, +and she began to turn her attention to a new evening frock. This was a +moment when the extra ten pounds she failed to get at Christmas would +have been useful. Notwithstanding the surrender of her pride, Jasmine +still had a little vanity; and when she took out of her wardrobe the two +evening dresses that had served her during the last year, and saw how +worn and faded they were, she began to wonder if after all she should +not be glad if her aunt settled things over her head by telling her that +she could not go. + +She was vexed, when she opened her aunt's correspondence that morning +and read that Sir Harry Vibart accepted with pleasure Lady Grant's kind +invitation for Wednesday, February 14th, to detect herself the prey of a +sudden impulse to go to this dance at all costs. She debated with +herself whether she should not ask Miss Hemmings, the little dressmaker +in Marylebone High Street who made most of her things, to make her an +evening frock on the understanding that she should be paid for it next +quarter. At first Jasmine was rather timid about embarking upon such an +adventure into extravagance; but she decided to do so, and when she had +a moment to herself she slipped out of the house and hurried round to +Miss Hemmings' little shop. Alas, Miss Hemmings; like Sir Hector, was +also in bed with a bronchial cold; she was dreadfully sorry, but quite +unable to oblige Miss Grant by the 14th. + +"Oh, well, it's evidently not to be," Jasmine decided. + +She got home in time to meet Selina coming up the area steps, dressed +this time in a brilliant peacock blue blanket coat and an emerald green +hat. + +"Selina!" exclaimed Jasmine. "You seem to go in for nothing but clothes +nowadays." + +"You must dress a bit if you belong to the Church of England," said +Selina sharply. "It's as different from the chapel as the stalls are +from the pit. Don't forget that." + +"Well, I've just been trying to get a frock for a dance on Wednesday, +but my dressmaker's ill and...." Jasmine broke off; she did not wish to +make Selina think that she was in need of money, for she felt that if +she did, Selina would immediately offer to lend her some. And if she +accepted Selina's charity it would be more than ever difficult to refuse +to occupy those three rooms at Catford. + +"Well, that's awkward," said Selina. "But I'll lend you anything you +want." + +"Oh, thank you very much, but it's an evening frock." + +"Ah! That I don't go in for, and never shall. Low necks I shall never +come to. Do you want to go to this party very much?" + +"I do rather," Jasmine admitted. + +"There's my bus," said Selina suddenly; and without a word of farewell +she vanished round the corner shouting and waving her umbrella. + +The next morning, which was Tuesday and the day before the dance, +Jasmine received a postcard on which was printed the current price of +coal. She thought at first that it had been put in her place by mistake; +but looking at it again she saw written in a fine small hand between the +Wallsends and the Silkstones _Come to Rouncivell Lodge to-morrow at +eleven o'clock_; and between the Silkstones and the Cobbles the initials +M. R. + +Aunt May failed to understand how Uncle Matthew could be so +inconsiderate as to invite Jasmine to Muswell Hill on the very day +before she was giving a dance, and particularly when it would have been +advisable in any case that Jasmine should be at home that morning in +case her uncle wanted something. + +"You must write and tell him you will go later on in the week." + +Jasmine agreed to do so, but she added that she should have to give +Uncle Matthew a reason for refusing to go and see him, and Aunt May, +realizing that such a reason would involve herself with the old +gentleman, gave a grudging assent to Jasmine's going that day. Jasmine +had difficulty in escaping from Harley Street early enough to be +punctual to her appointment with Uncle Matthew, but she managed it +somehow, although at one time it seemed as if Sir Hector was wanting so +many things which only Jasmine could provide that she should never get +away. In the end when Lady Grant was calling 'Jasmine!' from the first +landing, Hopkins replied 'Yes, my lady,' and before Lady Grant had time +to explain that she did not want Hopkins, her niece was hurrying on her +way north. + +Jasmine wondered in what gay colours she should find Selina when she +reached Rouncivell Lodge; but Selina met her at the gate in her +customary black, and advised her sharply to make no allusions to her +clothes in front of the old gentleman. + +"Why haven't you been to see me before?" Uncle Matthew demanded as the +clocks all over the house chimed eleven o'clock. + +"I never go anywhere unless I'm asked." + +"Well, don't put on your hoity-toity manners with me, miss. Do you +expect me, at my age, to come trotting after you? I told your aunt +several times I should like to see you." + +"She never gave me your message." + +"No, I suppose she didn't," said the old gentleman with a grim chuckle. +"Now what's all this about wanting a dress for a ball? Do you expect me +to provide you with dresses for balls?" + +"Of course I don't," said Jasmine, looking angrily round to where Selina +had been standing a moment ago. But the yellow-faced housekeeper had +gone. + +"Well, I've borrowed Eneas' carriage for the day, and I'll take you for +a drive. I don't know how that fellow can afford to keep a carriage. I +can't. At least, I can't afford to keep a carriage for other people to +use, and that's what always happens. Oh, yes, they'd like me to have a +carriage, I've no doubt. But I'm not going to have one." + +"It's at the door, Mr. Rouncivell," said Selina, putting her head into +the room. + +Uncle Matthew was so voluminously wrapped up for this expedition that it +seemed at first as if he would never be able to squeeze through the door +of the brougham; but by unwinding himself from a plaid shawl he managed +it. + +"Where am I to drive to?" asked Uncle Eneas' gardener in an injured +voice. He evidently disapproved of being lent to other people. + +"Drive to London," said the old gentleman. + +"Where?" the coachman repeated. + +"To London, you idiot! Don't you know where London is?" + +"London's a large place," said the coachman. + +"I don't need you to tell me that. Drive to Regent Street." + +The drive was spent in trying to accommodate Uncle Matthew's wraps to +the temperature of the inside of the brougham, and in an attempt to +calculate how much it cost Eneas to keep a horse, carriage, and +coachman. This was a complicated calculation, because it involved +deducting from the cost per week not merely the amount saved in +artificial manures, but also the amount saved by growing bigger +vegetables than would otherwise have been grown. + +"But whatever way you look at it," said Uncle Matthew finally, "it's a +dead loss!" + +When they reached Regent Street, Uncle Matthew told Jasmine to stop the +carriage at the first shop where women's clothes were sold. + +"Women's clothes?" repeated Jasmine. + +"Yes, women's clothes. I'm told you want a gown for a ball to-morrow. +Well, I'm going to buy you one." + +Jasmine could scarcely believe that it was Uncle Matthew who was +talking, and her expression of amazement roused the old gentleman to ask +her what she was staring at. + +"Think I've never bought gowns for women before?" he asked. "I used to +come shopping every day with my poor wife, fifty years ago." + +The brougham had stopped at a famous and fashionable dressmaker's, and +Jasmine wonderingly followed the old gentleman into the shop. + +"I want a gown," said the old gentleman fiercely to the first lady who +wriggled up to him and asked what he required. + +They were accommodated with chairs in the showroom, and presently a +young woman emerged from a glass grated door and walked past them in an +Anglo-Saxon attitude. + +"You needn't be shy of me," said Uncle Matthew. "I'm old enough to be +your grandfather." The show-woman tittered politely at what she supposed +was Uncle Matthew's joke. + +"Do you like that model?" she said. + +"Model?" echoed the old gentleman. + +"That gown?" the show-woman enquired. + +"Gown?" echoed Uncle Matthew. "What gown?" + +"Miss Abels," the show-woman called, "would you mind walking past once +more?" + +"You don't mean to tell me that what she's wearing is an evening gown +you propose to sell me?" asked Uncle Matthew, on whom an explanation of +the young woman's behaviour was beginning to dawn. "Why, I never thought +she was dressed at all." + +The show-woman again tittered politely. + +"We consider that one of our most becoming gowns," she said. "So simple, +isn't it? Don't you like the lines? And it's quite a new shade. Angel's +blush." + +"It's very pretty," said Jasmine. + +"Well," said Uncle Matthew, "I suppose you know what you want, and I +daresay you're right to choose something simple. It's no good wasting +money on a lot of frills. How much is that?" + +"That gown," said the show-woman. "Let me see. That's a Paris model. +Quite exclusive. Thirty-five guineas." + +"What?" the old gentleman yelled. "Come out of the shop, come out of the +shop!" he commanded Jasmine. + +"I never heard of anything so monstrous in my life," he said indignantly +to Jasmine on the pavement outside. "Thirty-five guineas! For a piece of +stuff the size of three pocket-handkerchiefs! No wonder you can't afford +to go to parties! Well, I made a mistake." + +"But, Uncle Matthew," Jasmine explained, "I didn't want to go to a +fashionable shop like this. There are lots of other shops where evening +frocks don't cost so much." + +"You can't have a dress made of less than that," he said. + +"It isn't a question of amount. It's a question of cut and material." + +But the old gentleman could not bring himself to go to another shop. He +had suffered a severe shock, and he wished to be alone. + +"I'll drive home by myself," he said. "You can get back to Harley Street +quite easily from here. Thirty-five guineas! Why, poor Clara's bridal +dress didn't cost that." + +They were all very curious at Harley Street to know why Uncle Matthew +had sent for Jasmine. She did not feel inclined to tell them the real +reason, and she merely said that he wanted to see her. Aunt May, +however, was feeling bitterly on the subject, and she was suspicious of +Jasmine's reticence. + +"It's a pity he should have fetched you all that way for nothing," she +said. "You had better have done as I suggested and gone the day after +the dance. We have all been so busy this morning that poor Uncle Hector +has been rather neglected, and I've had to leave a great deal undone +which will have to be done this afternoon, and I'm afraid he'll still +feel a little neglected, so really, Jasmine, I don't know.... I suppose +you'd be very disappointed if you didn't come to the dance, but really I +don't know but that it may be necessary for you to stay at home +to-morrow and look after Uncle Hector." + +"I'll stay at home with pleasure," said Jasmine. + +Her aunt looked at her. "Oh, you don't object to staying at home?" + +"Why should I? I haven't got a frock fit to wear." + +"Not got a frock fit to wear? Really, my dear, how you do exaggerate +sometimes! That's a very becoming little yellow frock you wear. A very +becoming little frock. You must be very anxious to impress somebody if +you are not content to wear that." + +Jasmine turned away without answering. She would not give her aunt the +pleasure of seeing that the malicious allusion had touched her. + +The following afternoon it was definitely decided that Sir Hector was +too ill to be left in the hands of servants, and, very regretfully as +she assured her, Lady Grant told her niece that she must ask her to stay +at home. + +"You mustn't be too disappointed, because perhaps I shall give another +dance in April or May, and perhaps out of my own little private savings +bank I may be able to add something to your March allowance that will +enable you to get a frock which you do consider good enough to wear." + +Jasmine thought that it would probably annoy her aunt if she looked as +if she did not mind staying at home; so she very cheerfully announced +her complete indifference to the prospect of going to the dance, and her +intention of reading Sir Hector to sleep. Dinner was eaten in the +feverish way in which dinners before balls are always eaten. Before +starting Pamela called Jasmine into her room to admire her frock, and +Jasmine took a good deal of pleasure in telling her that she was not +sure, but she thought she liked Lettice's frock better; and to Lettice, +whom she presently visited, she said after a suitable pause that she was +afraid Pamela's frock suited _her_ better than her own did. Hargreaves +and Hopkins, who were both indignant at Jasmine's being left behind, +took the cue from her and they both praised so enthusiastically the +other's dress to each sister, that the two girls went off to the dance +feeling thoroughly ill-tempered. + +"What would you like me to read you, Uncle Hector?" asked Jasmine when +the house was silent. + +"Well, really, I don't know," he said. "I don't think there's anything +nowadays worth reading. I don't care about these modern writers. I don't +understand them. But if they came to me as patients, I should know how +to prescribe for them." + +"Shall I read you some Dickens?" Jasmine suggested. + +"It's hardly worth while beginning a long novel at this time of the +evening." + +"I might read you _The Christmas Carol_." + +"Oh, I know that by heart," said Sir Hector. + +"Well, what shall I read you? Shall I read you something from +Thackeray's _Book of Snobs_?" + +"No, I know that by heart, too," said Sir Hector. + +"If you don't like modern writers, and you know all the other writers by +heart...." + +"Well, if you want to read something," said Sir Hector at last, as if he +were gratifying a spoilt child, "you had better read me Mr. Balfour's +speech in the House last night." + +It was lucky for Mr. Balfour that Sir Hector had not been present when +he made the speech, for at every other line he ejaculated: "Rot! +Unmitigated rot! Rubbish! The man doesn't know what he's talking about! +What an absurd statement! Read that again, will you, my dear? I never +heard such piffle!" + +In spite of Sir Hector's interruptions, Jasmine stumbled through Mr. +Balfour's speech, and she was just going to begin Mr. Asquith's reply +when the door of the bedroom opened and Uncle Matthew walked in. + +Sir Hector's first instinct when this apparition presented itself was to +grab the thermometer and take his temperature; but perceiving that +Jasmine was as much surprised as himself and that it was certainly not a +feverish delusion, he stammered out a greeting. + +"I don't advise you to come into the room, though," he said. "I've got a +dreadful cold." + +"I thought you were never ill," said Uncle Matthew. + +"Well, I'm not. It's a most extraordinary thing. Where I got this cold I +cannot imagine," Sir Hector was declaiming when Uncle Matthew cut him +short. Jasmine always felt like giggling when Sir Hector was talking to +his uncle, because she could not get used to the idea that both Sir +Hector and herself should address him as Uncle Matthew. She was still +young enough to conceive all people over fifty merged in contemporary +senility. + +"I thought you were going to a dance," said Uncle Matthew to Jasmine. + +"Oh, Jasmine very kindly offered to stay behind and look after me," Sir +Hector explained. + +"Well, I'll look after you," said Uncle Matthew. + +His nephew stared at him. + +"Yes, I'll look after you," the old gentleman repeated. "What time do +you take your medicine? _You_ had better get along to the dance," he +said to Jasmine. + +"But Jasmine can't go off to a dance by herself," Sir Hector protested. + +"Can't she?" said Uncle Matthew. "Well, then I'll go with her, and +Selina shall look after you." + +He went to the door and called downstairs to his housekeeper. + +"I never heard anything so ridiculous," Sir Hector objected. + +"Didn't you?" said the old gentleman sardonically. "I'm surprised to +hear that. You've been listening to the sound of your own voice for a +good many years now, haven't you?" + +Perhaps Sir Hector's cold was worse than one was inclined to think, from +his grumbling, for if he had not been feeling very ill the prospect of +being left in charge of Selina must have cured him instantly. + +"When do you take your medicine?" asked Uncle Matthew. + +The old gentleman was evidently determined that whatever else was left +undone for his nephew's comfort, he should have his full dose of +medicine at the hands of the housekeeper. Selina came into the room and +settled herself down by the bed with an air of determination that +plainly showed the patient what he was in for. Selina's new and more +optimistic creed would probably not tend so far as to include Sir Hector +Grant among the saved, and what between the patient's pessimism about +his state in this world and Selina's pessimism about his state in the +world to come, Jasmine felt that if she was ever going to be appreciated +by Uncle Hector she should be appreciated by him that night. Meanwhile +Uncle Matthew, after settling his nephew, was hurrying her downstairs. + +"I have found you a gown after all," he announced, "and a much prettier +gown than anything you could find in London nowadays. If that gown +yesterday cost thirty-five guineas, the one I have got for you would +have cost a hundred and thirty-five guineas." + +"Where is it?" + +"Where is it?" her uncle repeated. "Why waiting upstairs in your +bedroom, of course, for you to put it on. Now be quick, because I don't +want to be kept up all night by this ball. I have not been out as late +as this for thirty-one years. I'll give you a quarter of an hour to get +ready." + +Jasmine ran upstairs to her room, where she found Hargreaves and Hopkins +standing in astonishment before the dress which Uncle Matthew had +brought her. The fragrance of rosemary and lavender pervaded the air, +and Jasmine realized that it came from the frock. Uncle Matthew was +right when he said that it was unlike any frock that could be found +nowadays. + +"Wherever did he get it?" wondered Hargreaves. + +"It's beautiful material," said Hopkins. + +Jasmine was not well enough versed in the history of feminine costume to +know how exactly to describe the frock; but she saw at once that it +belonged to a bygone generation, and she divined in the same instant +that it was a frock belonging to Uncle Matthew's dead wife, one of the +frocks that all these years had been kept embalmed in a trunk that was +never opened except when he was alone. It was an affair of many flounces +and furbelows, the colour nankeen and ivory, the material very fine +silk with a profusion of Mechlin lace. + +"Whoever saw the like of it?" demanded Hargreaves. + +"Whoever did?" Hopkins echoed. + +"It would be all right if it had been a fancy dress ball," said +Hargreaves. + +"Of course, it would have been lovely if it had been fancy dress," +Hopkins agreed. + +"Well, though it isn't a fancy dress ball," said Jasmine, "I am going to +wear it." + +The maids held up their hands in astonishment. But Jasmine knew that the +crisis of her life had arrived. If she failed in this crisis she saw +before her nothing but fifteen dreary years stretching in a vista that +ended in the sea front at Bognor. She realized that, if she rejected +this dress and failed to recognize what was probably the first +disinterested and kindly action of Uncle Matthew since his wife's death, +she should forfeit all claims to consideration in the future. Along with +her sharp sense of what her behaviour meant to her in the future, there +was another reason for wearing the dress, a reason that was dictated +only by motives of consideration for Uncle Matthew himself. It seemed to +her that it would be wicked to reject what must have cost him so much +emotion to provide. What embarrassment or self-consciousness was not +worth while if it was going to repay the sympathy of an old man so long +unaccustomed to show sympathy? What if everyone in the ballroom did turn +round and stare at her? What if her aunt raged and her cousins decided +that she had disgraced them by her eccentric attire? What if Harry +Vibart muttered his thanks to Heaven for having escaped from a mad girl +like herself? Nothing really mattered except that she should be brave, +and that Uncle Matthew should be able to congratulate himself on his +kindness. + +While Jasmine was driving from Harley Street to the Empress Rooms, she +felt like an actress before the first night that was to be the +turning-point of her career. She was amused to find that Uncle Matthew +had again borrowed the Eneas Grants' brougham, and she could almost have +laughed aloud at the thought of Uncle Hector's being dosed by Selina; +but presently the silent drive--Uncle Matthew was more voluminously +muffled than ever--deprived her of any capacity for being amused, and +the thought of her arrival at the dance now filled her with gloomy +apprehension. The brougham was jogging along slowly enough, but to +Jasmine it seemed to be moving like the fastest automobile, and the +journey from Marylebone to Kensington seemed a hundred yards. When they +pulled up outside the canopied entrance, Jasmine had a momentary impulse +to run away; but the difficulty of extracting Uncle Matthew from the +brougham and of unwrapping him sufficiently in the entrance hall to +secure his admission as a human being occupied her attention; and almost +before she knew what was happening, she had taken the old gentleman's +arm and they were entering the ballroom, where the sound of music, the +shuffle of dancing feet, the perfume and the heat, the brilliance and +the motion, acted like a sedative drug. + +And then the music stopped. The dancers turned from their dancing. A +thousand eyes regarded her. Lady Grant's nose grew to monstrous size. + +"Hullo!" cried a familiar voice. "I say, I've lost my programme, so +you'll have to give me every dance to help me through the evening." + +Jasmine had let go Uncle Matthew's arm and taken Harry Vibart's, and in +a mist, while she was walking across the middle of the ballroom, she +looked back a moment and saw Uncle Matthew, like some pachydermatous +animal, moving slowly in the direction of her aunt's nose. + +THE END + + * * * * * + + +PRINTED BY W M. BRENDON AND SON, LTD., PLYMOUTH, ENGLAND + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +POOR RELATIONS + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_SUNDAY TIMES:_ "'Poor Relations' is a book that from cover to cover is +informed with wit, humour and high spirits, and is yet in its own way a +mordant criticism of life." + +_OBSERVER:_ "The vitality that is Mr. Compton Mackenzie's tremendous +gift makes the book as tonic as a spring day.... In vividness, in sheer +colour and variety, Mr. Compton Mackenzie is unmatchable." + +_WORLD:_ "One of the drollest books written for years." + +_DAILY NEWS:_ "Here is an imagination almost Dickens-like in its +abundance." + +_DAILY CHRONICLE:_ "Nothing could be more effective, nothing more +persistently and ineffably droll." + +_EVENING NEWS:_ "It is all rich comedy; it exudes humours on every +page." + +_LAND AND WATER:_ "Three hundred pages of charming and farcical +light-heartedness." + +_STAR:_ "A book of high spirits without pause." + +_DAILY EXPRESS:_ "Irresistibly funny." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +SYLVIA SCARLETT + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_PALL MALL GAZETTE:_ "A vital and stimulating work, full of the joy of +life and much of its sorrow; and Sylvia Scarlett herself is one of the +few really great women in fiction--can indeed hold her own with Beatrix +Esmond and Becky Sharp." + +_PUNCH:_ "In several respects it is the best thing Mr. Mackenzie has yet +done...." + +_SCOTSMAN:_ "Amazing dexterity of workmanship--every figure is instinct +with vitality." + +_MORNING POST:_ "There is no question about the rightness and brightness +and delightfulness of the adventures." + +_LIVERPOOL COURIER:_ "Amazing inventiveness, Dickens-like prodigality +and humour in characterization, youthful daring and clean candour." + +LIVERPOOL POST:_ "His observation dissects humanity and entrances the +student with its amazing cleverness and its astonishing penetration." + +_ILLUSTRATED LONDON NEWS:_ "The inimitable exponent of joyous youth--a +certain Cockney humour--as gaily witty as anything the world can show." + +_BIRMINGHAM POST:_ "In sheer brilliance may well be thought to excel +even its predecessor." + +EVE in _THE TATLER:_ "Such a riot and rush of adventures and contrasts, +such a breathless scramble, such rainbow emotions...." + +MR. ST. JOHN ADCOCK in _THE SKETCH:_ "Nothing really happens." + +MR. FRANK SWINNERTON in _THE BOOKMAN:_ "An exhibition of talent +perversely employed." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +SYLVIA & MICHAEL + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_EVENING STANDARD:_ "That originality and depth of thought which we +associate with his name. Often startling as are his ideas, they have a +way of melting very quickly into and taking their place in the scheme of +things, the world of truth and reality." + +_THE SCOTSMAN:_ "The book is one which holds the reader in thrall." + +_DAILY MAIL:_ "A master story-teller." + +_GLASGOW HERALD:_ "As fine as anything that even Mr. Mackenzie has +accomplished." + +_PUNCH:_ "An exhilarating, even intoxicating entertainment." + +LIVERPOOL COURIER: + +"One may cheerfully and gratefully acknowledge the brilliancy ... its +absorbing interest, its sustained intellectual strength, and the +splendour of its moral implications." + +_ILLUSTRATED LONDON NEWS:_ "The colour, the humour, the irony, and the +philosophy that make up the compound of his amazing books." + +_CAMBRIDGE MAGAZINE:_ "Besides achieving a performance in itself no less +remarkable than its predecessors, Mr. Mackenzie does something new: he +shows his teeth." + +MR. JAMES DOUGLAS in _THE STAR:_ "A literary fake." + +MR. ROBERT K. RISK in _THE SUNDAY TIMES._ "It will not permit itself to +be read." + +MR. HUGH WALPOLE in _THE NEW YORK SUN:_ "A new chunk from the erotic +adventures of Sylvia Scarlett ... but this does not sound thrilling to +everyone...." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +SINISTER STREET + +VOLUME ONE + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_TIMES:_ "We do not wish it any shorter, for it is almost wholly +delightful in itself." + +_STANDARD:_ "The architecture of the book is superb." + +_LIVERPOOL COURIER:_ "A clear and beautiful and enchanting idyll of +adolescence." + +_ENGLISH REVIEW:_ "A more faithful picture of public school life than +anything we know in English fiction." + +_YORKSHIRE OBSERVER:_ "Mr. Mackenzie's style is a thing unique among the +present writers of English." + +_MANCHESTER GUARDIAN:_ "As difficult a task as fiction could undertake; +but Mr. Mackenzie's tact and insight have brought him through with +brilliant success ... something we would not willingly have missed." + +_PUNCH:_ "There are aspects of this book that I should find it difficult +to overpraise; its marvellously minute observation, and its humour, and +above all its haunting beauty both of ideas and words.... I am prepared +to wager that Mr. Mackenzie's future is bound up with what is most +considerable in English fiction." + +MR. F. M. HUEFFER in the _OUTLOOK:_ "Possibly 'Sinister Street' is a +work of real genius--one of those books that really exist otherwise than +as the decorations of a publishing season.... One is too cautious--or +with all the desire to be generous in the world, too ungenerous--to say +anything like that, dogmatically, of a quite young writer. But I +shouldn't wonder!" + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +SINISTER STREET + +VOLUME TWO + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_NEW STATESMAN:_ "A wonderful achievement." + +_MORNING POST:_ "We never read anything which was so full of the action +and atmosphere of a city of youth." + +MR. C. K. SHORTER in the _SPHERE:_ "The best modern novel of London +life." + +_NEW WITNESS:_ "Mr. Mackenzie's fame as a novelist rests to-day upon a +secure foundation. Taking it altogether 'Sinister Street' is the biggest +thing attempted and achieved in recent fiction." + +_PUNCH:_ "The most complete and truest picture of modern Oxford that has +been or is likely to be written ... has placed its creator definitely at +the head of the younger school of fiction." + +_MANCHESTER GUARDIAN:_ "There is not a page that is not in one way or +another engaging, and many of them are profoundly moving." + +_NATION:_ "It is a book of the greatest possible promise and interest +... puts Mr. Mackenzie in the front rank of contemporary novelists." + +MR. HUGH WALPOLE in _EVERYMAN:_ "I refuse to look at 'Sinister Street.'" + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +GUY AND PAULINE + +By COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_GLASGOW HERALD:_ "The charm of this exquisite book seems to play hide +and seek with all efforts at description." + +_LIVERPOOL POST:_ "The book lies beyond a critic's ungracious blame or +his inept attempts at jolting praise." + +_COUNTRY LIFE:_ "The most vivid and understanding portrayal of a +sensitive girl's awakening to the responsibilities of womanhood that we +have yet read." + +_ILLUSTRATED LONDON NEWS:_ "Nothing so alive and feminine as Pauline has +been seen inside a book since Jenny Pearl." + +_SKETCH:_ "People who love Mr. Mackenzie's art will love 'Guy and +Pauline' with peculiar intimacy just because it is so purely an affair +of exquisite taste." + +_BOSTON TRANSCRIPT:_ "A story about love that is as fascinating as love +itself." + +_LADIES' FIELD:_ "The spangled dews and freshness of morning, the silver +quiet of evening, the magic of moonlight, the song of bird, of wind and +river, the fairy charm of all the varying seasons, are all his and he +makes them ours; he is the prose Keats of our modern days." + +_MANCHESTER GUARDIAN:_ "The future of the English novel is, to a quite +considerable extent, in his hands." + +_ATHENÆUM:_ "The permanency of a classic for all who value form in a +chaotic era." + +_RUBBER-GROWER:_ "A book to be avoided--wearisome and effete." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +CARNIVAL + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_ATHENÆUM:_ "Mr. Mackenzie's second novel amply fulfils the promise of +his first.... Its first and great quality is originality. The +originality of Mr. Mackenzie lies in his possession of an imagination +and a vision of life that are as peculiarly his own as a voice or a +laugh, and that reflect themselves in a style which is that of no other +writer.... A prose full of beauty." + +_PUNCH:_ "After reading a couple of pages I settled myself in my chair +for a happy evening, and thenceforward the fascination of the book held +me like a kind of enchantment. I despair, though, of being able to +convey any idea of it in a few lines of criticism.... As for the style, +I will only add that it gave me the same blissful feeling of security +that one has in listening to a great musician.... In the meantime, +having recorded my delight in it, I shall put 'Carnival' upon the small +and by no means crowded shelf that I reserve for 'keeps.'" + +_OUTLOOK:_ "In these days of muddled literary evaluations, it is a small +thing to say of a novel that it is a great novel; but this we should say +without hesitation of 'Carnival,' that not only is it marked out to be +the reading success of its own season, but to be read afterwards as none +but the best books are read." + +_OBSERVER:_ "The heroic scale of Mr. Compton Mackenzie's conception and +achievement sets a standard for him which one only applies to the +'great' among novelists." + +_ENGLISH REVIEW:_ "An exquisite sense of beauty with a hunger for +beautiful words to express it." + +_ILLUSTRATED LONDON NEWS:_ "The spirit of youth and the spirit of +London." + +_NEW YORK TIMES:_ "We hail Mr. Mackenzie as a man alive--who raises all +things to a spiritual plane." + +MR. C. K. SHORTER in the _SPHERE:_ "'Carnival' carried me from cover to +cover on wings." + +_NEW AGE:_ "We are more than sick of it." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +THE PASSIONATE ELOPEMENT + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_TIMES:_ "We are grateful to him for wringing our hearts with the 'tears +and laughter of spent joys.'" + +_SPECTATOR:_ "As an essay in literary _bravura_ the book is quite +remarkable." + +_COUNTRY LIFE:_ "In the kindliness, the humour and the gentleness of the +treatment, it comes as near to Thackeray, as any man has come since +Thackeray." + +_DAILY CHRONICLE:_ "Thanks for a rare entertainment! And, if the writing +of your story pleased you as much as the reading of it has pleased us, +congratulations too." + +_GLOBE:_ "A little tenderness, a fragrant aroma of melancholy laid away +in lavender, a hint of cynicism, an airy philosophy--and so a wholly +piquant, subtly aromatic dish, a rosy apple stuck with cloves." + +_GLASGOW NEWS:_ "Fresh and faded, mocking yet passionate, compact of +tinsel and gold is this little tragedy of a winter season in view of the +pump room.... Through it all, the old tale has a dainty, fluttering, +unusual, and very real beauty." + +_ENGLISH REVIEW:_ "All his characters are real and warm with life. 'The +Passionate Elopement' should be read slowly, and followed from the +smiles and extravagance of the opening chapters through many sounding +and poetical passages, to the thrilling end of the Love Chase. The quiet +irony of the close leaves one smiling, but with the wiser smile of +Horace Ripple who meditates on the colours of life." + +_WESTMINSTER GAZETTE:_ "Mr. Mackenzie's book is a novel of _genre_, and +with infinite care and obvious love of detail has he set himself to +paint a literary picture in the manner of Hogarth. He is no imitator, he +owes no thanks to any predecessor in the fashioning of his book.... Mr. +Mackenzie recreates (the atmosphere) so admirably that it is no +exaggeration to say that, thanks to his brilliant scene-painting, we +shall gain an even more vivid appreciation of the work of his great +forerunners. Lightly and vividly does Mr. Mackenzie sketch in his +characters ... but they do not on that account lack personality. Each of +them is definitely and faithfully drawn, with sensibility, sympathy, and +humour." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +SOME PRESS OPINIONS OF + +KENSINGTON RHYMES + +_By_ COMPTON MACKENZIE + +_SATURDAY REVIEW:_ "These are particularly jolly rhymes, that any really +good sort of a chap, say a fellow of about ten, would like. Mr. J. R. +Monsell's pictures are exceptionally jolly too.... If we may judge by +ourselves, not only the children, but the grown-ups of the family will +be enchanted by this quite delightful and really first-rate book." + +_DAILY MAIL:_ "Among the picture-books of the season, pride of place +must go to Mr. Compton Mackenzie's 'Kensington Rhymes.' They are full of +quiet humour and delicate insight into the child-mind." + +_OBSERVER:_ "Far the best rhymes of the year are 'Kensington Rhymes,' by +Compton Mackenzie, almost the best things of the kind since the 'Child's +Garden of Verse.'" + +_ATHENÆUM:_ "Will please children of all ages and also contains much +that will not be read without a sympathetic smile by grown-ups possessed +of a sense of humour." + +_TIMES:_ "The real gift of child poetry, sometimes almost with a +Stevensonian ring." + +_OUTLOOK:_ "What Henley did for older Londoners, Mr. Compton Mackenzie +and Mr. Monsell have done for the younger generation." + +_STANDARD:_ "Our hearts go out first to Mr. Compton Mackenzie's +'Kensington Rhymes.'" + +_SUNDAY TIMES:_ "Full of whimsical observation and genuine insight, +'Kensington Rhymes' by Compton Mackenzie are certainly entertaining." + +_EVENING STANDARD:_ "Something of the charm of Christina Rossetti's." + +_VOTES FOR WOMEN:_ "They breathe the very conventional and stuffy air of +Kensington.... We are bound to say that the London child we tried it on +liked the book." + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +THE TALES OF HENRY JAMES + +The Turn of the Screw + +The Aspern Papers + +Daisy Miller + +The Lesson of the Master + +The Death of the Lion + +The Reverberator + +The Beast in the Jungle + +The Coxon Fund + +Glasses + +The Pupil + +The Altar of the Dead + +The Figure in the Carpet + +The Jolly Corner + +In the Cage + +[Illustration] + +_Fcap. 8vo. 3s. 6d. net each_ + +MARTIN SECKER NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI + +MARTIN SECKER'S BOOKS + +[Illustration: colophon] + +MCMXXI + +NOTE + +The prices indicated +in this catalogue are +in every case net + +_NUMBER FIVE JOHN STREET ADELPHI LONDON_ + +General Literature + +ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. _By Leo Shestov. 7s. 6d._ + +DEAD LETTERS. _By Maurice Baring. 6s._ + +DIMINUTIVE DRAMAS. _By Maurice Baring. 6s._ + +ENGLISH SONNET, THE. _By T. W. H. Crosland. 10s. 6d._ + +FOUNTAINS IN THE SAND. _By Norman Douglas. 6s._ + +HIEROGLYPHICS. _By Arthur Machen. 5s._ + +HISTORY OF THE HARLEQUINADE, THE. _By M. Sand. 24s._ + +MY DIARIES: 1888-1914. _By W. S. Blunt._ 2 vols. 21s. _each_. + +NEW LEAVES. _By Filson Young. 5s._ + +OLD CALABRIA. _By Norman Douglas. 10s. 6d._ + +SOCIAL HISTORY OF SMOKING, THE. _By G. L. Apperson. 6s._ + +SPECULATIVE DIALOGUES. _By Lascelles Abercrombie. 5s._ + +TENTH MUSE, THE. _By Edward Thomas, 3s. 6d._ + +THOSE UNITED STATES. _By Arnold Bennett. 5s._ + +TRANSLATIONS. _By Maurice Baring. 2s._ + +VIE DE BOHÈME. _By Orlo Williams. 15s._ + +WORLD IN CHAINS, THE. _By J. Mavrogordato. 5s._ + +Verse + +COLLECTED POEMS OF T. W. H. CROSLAND. 7_s._ 6_d._ + +COLLECTED POEMS OF LORD ALFRED DOUGLAS. 7_s._ 6_d._ + +COLLECTED POEMS OF J. E. FLECKER. 10_s._ + +COLLECTED POEMS OF F. M. HUEFFER. 7_s._ 6_d._ + +CORONAL, A. A New Anthology. _By L. M. Lamont._ 2_s._ 6_d._ + +COUNTRY SENTIMENT. _By Robert Graves._ 5_s._ + +KENSINGTON RHYMES. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 5_s._ + +NEW POEMS. _By D. H. Lawrence._ 5_s._ + +PIERGLASS, THE. _By Robert Graves._ 5_s._ + +POEMS: 1914-1919. _By Maurice Baring._ 6_s._ + +QUEEN OF CHINA, THE. _By Edward Shanks._ 6_s._ + +SELECTED POEMS OF J. E. FLECKER. 3_s._ 6_d._ + +VERSES. _By Viola Meynell._ 2_s._ 6_d._ + +VILLAGE WIFE'S LAMENT, THE. _By Maurice Hewlett._ 3_s._ 6_d._ + +Drama + +BEGGAR'S OPERA, THE. _By John Gay._ 2_s._ 6_d._ + +CASSANDRA IN TROY. _By John Mavrogordato._ 5_s._ + +DRAMATIC WORKS OF ST. JOHN HANKIN. 3 vols. 30_s._ + +DRAMATIC WORKS OF GERHART HAUPTMANN. 7 vols. 7_s._ 6_d._ each. + +MAGIC. _By G. K. Chesterton._ 5_s._ + +PEER GYNT. _Translated by R. Ellis Roberts._ 5_s._ + +REPERTORY THEATRE, THE. _By P. P. Howe._ 5_s._ + +Fiction + +AUTUMN CROCUSES. _By Anne Douglas Sedgwick. 9s._ + +BREAKING-POINT. _By Michael Artzibashef. 9s._ + +CAPTAIN MACEDOINE'S DAUGHTER. _By W. Mcfee. 9s_. + +CARNIVAL. BY COMPTON MACKENZIE. _8s._ + +CHASTE WIFE, THE. _By Frank Swinnerton. 7s. 6d._ + +COLUMBINE. BY VIOLA MEYNELL. _7s. 6d._ + +CREATED LEGEND, THE. _By Feodor Sologub. 7s. 6d._ + +CRESCENT MOON, THE. _By F. Brett Young. 7s. 6d._ + +DANDELIONS. _By Coulson T. Cade. 7s. 6d._ + +DEBIT ACCOUNT, THE. _By Oliver Onions. 7s. 6d._ + +DEEP SEA. _By F. Brett Young. 7s. 6d._ + +GUY AND PAULINE. _By Compton Mackenzie. 7s. 6d._ + +IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE EVIDENCE. _By Oliver Onions. 7s. 6d._ + +IRON AGE, THE. _By F. Brett Young. 7s. 6d._ + +LITTLE DEMON, THE. _By Feodor Sologub. 7s. 6d._ + +LOST GIRL, THE. _By D. H. Lawrence. 9s._ + +MILLIONAIRE, THE. _By Michael Artzibashef. 7s. 6d._ + +MODERN LOVERS. _By Viola Meynell. 7s. 6d._ + +NARCISSUS. _By Viola Meynell. 7s. 6d._ + +NOCTURNE. _By Frank Swinnerton. 7s. 6d._ + +OLD HOUSE, THE. _By Feodor Sologub. 7s. 6d._ + +OLD INDISPENSABLES, THE. By Edward Shanks. 7s. 6d. + +PASSING BY. _By Maurice Baring. 7s. 6d._ + +POOR RELATIONS. _By Compton Mackenzie. 7s. 6d_. + +RICH RELATIVES. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 9_s._ + +RICHART KURT. _By Stephen Hudson._ 7_s._ _6d._ + +ROMANTIC MAN, A. _By Hervey Fisher._ 6_s._ + +SANINE. _By Michael Artzibashef._ 9_s._ + +SECOND MARRIAGE. _By Viola Meynell._ 7_s._ + +SINISTER STREET. I. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 9_s._ + +SINISTER STREET. II. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 9_s._ + +SOUTH WIND. _By Norman Douglas._ 7_s._ 6_s._ + +STORY OF LOUIE, THE. _By Oliver Onions._ 7_s._ 6_d._ + +SYLVIA SCARLETT. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 8_s._ + +SYLVIA AND MICHAEL. _By Compton Mackenzie._ 8_s._ + +TALES OF THE REVOLUTION. _By M. Artzibashef._ 7_s._ 6_d._ + +TENDER CONSCIENCE, THE. _By Bohun Lynch._ 7_s._ 6_d._ + +THIRD WINDOW, THE. _By Anne Douglas Sedgwick._ 6_s._ + +TRAGIC BRIDE, THE. _By F. Brett Young._ 7_s._ + +UNDERGROWTH. _By F. & E. Brett Young._ 7_s._ 6_d._ + +WOMEN IN LOVE. _By D. H. Lawrence._ 10_s._ + +WIDDERSHINS. _By Oliver Onions._ 7_s._ 6_d._ + +The Tales of Henry James + +ALTAR OF THE DEAD, THE. + +ASPERN PAPERS, THE. + +BEAST IN THE JUNGLE, THE. + +COXON FUND, THE. + +DAISY MILLER. + +DEATH OF THE LION, THE. + +FIGURE IN THE CARPET, THE. + +GLASSES. + +IN THE CAGE. + +JOLLY CORNER, THE. + +LESSON OF THE MASTER, THE. + +PUPIL, THE. + +TURN OF THE SCREW, THE. + +Fcap 8vo, 3_s._ 6_d._ each. + +The Art and Craft of Letters + +BALLAD, THE. _By Frank Sidgwick._ + +COMEDY. _By John Palmer._ + +CRITICISM. _By P. P. Howe._ + +EPIC, THE. _By Lascelles Abercrombie._ + +ESSAY, THE. _By Orlo Williams._ + +HISTORY. _By R. H. Gretton._ + +LYRIC, THE. _By John Drinkwater._ + +PARODY. _By Christopher Stone._ + +SATIRE. _By Gilbert Cannan._ + +SHORT STORY, THE. _By Barry Pain._ + +Fcap 8vo, 1_s._ 6_d._ each. + +Martin Secker's Series of Critical Studies + +ROBERT BRIDGES. _By F. & E. Brett Young._ + +SAMUEL BUTLER. _By Gilbert Cannan._ + +G. K. CHESTERTON. _By Julius West._ + +FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY. _By J. Middleton Murry._ + +GEORGE GISSING. _By Frank Swinnerton._ + +THOMAS HARDY. _By Lascelles Abercrombie._ + +HENRIK IBSEN. _By R. Ellis Roberts._ + +HENRY JAMES. _By Ford Madox Hueffer._ + +RUDYARD KIPLING. _By Cyril Falls._ + +WILLIAM MORRIS. _By John Drinkwater._ + +WALTER PATER. _By Edward Thomas._ + +BERNARD SHAW. _By P. P. Howe._ + +R. L. STEVENSON. _By Frank Swinnerton._ + +A. C. SWINBURNE. _By Edward Thomas._ + +J. M. SYNGE. _By P. P. Howe._ + +WALT WHITMAN. _By Basil de Selincourt._ + +W. B. YEATS. _By Forrest Reid._ + +Demy 8vo, 10s. 6d. + + * * * * * + +These typographical errors were corrected by the etext transcriber: + +Vokins as a brother-in-law=>Vokins has a brother-in-law + +certainly not a ferverish delusion=>certainly not a feverish delusion + + * * * * * + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Rich Relatives, by Compton Mackenzie + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RICH RELATIVES *** + +***** This file should be named 39364-8.txt or 39364-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/9/3/6/39364/ + +Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images available at The Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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