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diff --git a/39160-h/39160-h.htm b/39160-h/39160-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc0869a --- /dev/null +++ b/39160-h/39160-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3727 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Mr. Punch In The Hunting Field.</title> + <style type="text/css"> + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + p {text-align: justify;} + blockquote {text-align: justify;} + h1,h2,h3,h4 {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .center {text-align: center;} + hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + hr.full {width: 100%;} + html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + hr.medium {width: 76%;} + html>body hr.medium {margin-right: 12%; margin-left: 12%; width: 76%;} + hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; width: 20%;} + span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; + font-size: 8pt; text-indent: 0;} + .poem + .w26 {width: 26em; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto;} + .w32 {width: 32em; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto;} + .w36 {width: 36em; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + + .poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + .poem p.i4 {margin-left: 2em;} + .poem p.i6 {margin-left: 3em;} + .poem p.i8 {margin-left: 4em;} + .poem p.i10 {margin-left: 5em;} + .poem p.i12 {margin-left: 6em;} + .poem p.i14 {margin-left: 14em;} + + .figure, .figcenter, .figright, .figleft + {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em;} + .figure img, .figcenter img, .figright img, .figleft img + {border: none;} + .figure p, .figcenter p, .figright p, .figleft p + {margin: 0; text-indent: 1em;} + .figcenter {margin: auto;} + .figright {float: right; width: auto;} + .figleft {float: left; width: auto;} + + .img {margin: 0; padding-right: 0;} + .div {margin: 0; padding: 0;} + + .sup {font-size: 60%; } + pre {font-size: 75%; } + </style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field + +Author: Various + +Editor: J. A. Hammerton + +Illustrator: John Leech and others + +Release Date: March 15, 2012 [EBook #39160] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD *** + + + + +Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<h1>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD.</h1> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_cover" id="Page_cover">[Cover]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 30%"> +<a href="images/i_cover.png"> +<img src="images/i_cover.png" width="100%" alt="Cover" /></a> +</div> + +<h3>TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE.</h3> + +<p>Some pages of this work have been moved from the original sequence to enable +the contents to continue without interruption. The page numbering remains unaltered.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> + +<h3>PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR</h3> + +<h4>Edited by <span class="smcap">J. A. Hammerton</span></h4> + +<div class="figright" style="width: 12%"> +<a href="images/i_002b.png"> +<img src="images/i_002b.png" width="100%" alt="Cartoon" /></a> +</div> +<br /><br /> +<p>Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each<br /> complete in itself, +the cream of our national humour,<br /> contributed by the masters of comic +draughtsmanship<br /> and the leading wits of the age to "Punch",<br /> from its +beginning in 1841 to the present day.</p> +<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_003.png"> +<img src="images/i_003.png" width="100%" alt="DISILLUSIONED"/></a> +<h3>DISILLUSIONED</h3> +<p>Awful predicament of young Fitz-Brown, who, having undertaken to see a +young lady safely home after a day with the Seaborough Harriers, has +lost his way, and has climbed up what he takes to be a sign-post.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> + +<h3>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD</h3> + +<div class="figright" style="width: 20%"> +<a href="images/i_004a.png"> +<img src="images/i_004a.png" width="100%" alt="cartoon hare" /></a> +</div> + +<br /><br /> +AS PICTURED BY JOHN LEECH, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY,<br /> +RANDOLPH CALDECOTT, L. RAVEN-HILL, G. D. ARMOUR,<br /> +G. H. JALLAND, ARTHUR HOPKINS, REGINALD CLEAVER,<br /> +CECIL ALDIN, TOM BROWNE, W. L. HODGSON AND OTHERS<br /> +<br /><br /> +<center><i>WITH 173 ILLUSTRATIONS</i> +<br /><br /> +PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH"<br /> +<br /> +THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.</center> +<br /><br /> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p> + +<h3>THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR</h3> + +<center> +<i>Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo. 192 pages<br /> +fully illustrated</i><br /> +<br /> +LIFE IN LONDON<br /> +<br /> +COUNTRY LIFE<br /> +<br /> +IN THE HIGHLANDS<br /> +<br /> +SCOTTISH HUMOUR<br /> +<br /> +IRISH HUMOUR<br /> +<br /> +COCKNEY HUMOUR<br /> +<br /> +IN SOCIETY<br /> +<br /> +AFTER DINNER STORIES<br /> +<br /> +IN BOHEMIA<br /> +<br /> +AT THE PLAY<br /> +<br /> +MR. PUNCH AT HOME<br /> +<br /> +ON THE CONTINONG<br /> +<br /> +RAILWAY BOOK<br /> +<br /> +AT THE SEASIDE<br /> +<br /> +MR. PUNCH AFLOAT<br /> +<br /> +IN THE HUNTING FIELD<br /> +<br /> +MR. PUNCH ON TOUR<br /> +<br /> +WITH ROD AND GUN<br /> +<br /> +MR. PUNCH AWHEEL<br /> +<br /> +BOOK OF SPORTS<br /> +<br /> +GOLF STORIES<br /> +<br /> +IN WIG AND GOWN<br /> +<br /> +ON THE WARPATH<br /> +<br /> +BOOK OF LOVE<br /> +<br /> +WITH THE CHILDREN<br /> +</center> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p> + +<h2>EDITOR'S NOTE</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 20%"> +<a href="images/i_006.png"> +<img src="images/i_006.png" width="100%" alt="horseman"/></a> +</div> + +<p>From his earliest days <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch</span> has been an enthusiast for the Hunting +Field. But in this he has only been the faithful recorder of the manners +of his countrymen, as there is no sport more redolent of "Merrie +England" than that of the Horse and Hound. At no time in <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch's</span> +history has he been without an artist who has specialised in the humours +of the hunt. First it was the inimitable Leech, some of whose drawings +find a place in the present collection, and then the mantle of the +sporting artist would seem to have descended to feminine shoulders, as +Miss Bowers (Mrs. Bowers-Edwards) wore it for some ten years after 1866. +That lady is also represented in the present work, at pages 49 and 111. +Later came Mr. G. H. Jalland, many of whose drawings we have chosen for +inclusion here. Perhaps the most popular of his hunting jokes was that +of the Frenchman exclaiming, "Stop ze chasse! I tomble, I faloff! <i>Stop +ze fox!!!</i>" (see page 141). To-day, of course, it is Mr. G. D. Armour +whose pencil is devoted chiefly to illustrating the humorous side of +hunting; but now, as formerly, most of the eminent artists whose work +lies usually in other fields, delight at times to find a subject +associated with the hunt. Thus we are able to present examples of Mr. +Cecil Aldin and Mr. Raven-Hill in sportive mood, while such celebrities +of the past as Randolph Caldecott and Phil May are here drawn upon for +the enriching of this, the first book of hunting humour compiled from +the abundant chronicles of <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch</span>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_007.png"> +<img src="images/i_007.png" width="100%" alt="'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS"/></a> +<h3>'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p> + +<h2>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD</h2> + +<h3>THE HUNTING SEASON</h3> + +<center>(<i>By Jorrocks Junior</i>)</center> + +<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">The season for hunting I see has begun,</p> +<p class="i0">So adieu for a time to my rod and my gun;</p> +<p class="i0">And ho! for the fox, be he wild or in bag,</p> +<p class="i0">As I follow the chase on my high-mettled nag.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">I call him high-mettled, but still I must state,</p> +<p class="i0">He hasn't a habit I always did hate,</p> +<p class="i0">He doesn't walk sideways, like some "gees" you meet,</p> +<p class="i0">Who go slantindicularly down the street.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">He's steady and well broken in, for, of course,</p> +<p class="i0">I can't risk my life on an unbroken horse;</p> +<p class="i0">You might tie a torpedo or two on behind,</p> +<p class="i0">And though they exploded that horse wouldn't mind</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">My strong point is costume, and oft I confess</p> +<p class="i0">I've admired my get-up in a sportsmanlike dress;</p> +<p class="i0">Though, but for the finish their lustre confers,</p> +<p class="i0">I would much rather be, I declare, without spurs.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">They look very well as to cover you ride,</p> +<p class="i0">But I can't keep the things from the animal's side;</p> +<p class="i0">And the mildest of "gees," I am telling no fibs,</p> +<p class="i0">Will resent having liberties ta'en with his ribs.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Then hie to the cover, the dogs are all there,</p> +<p class="i0">And the horn of the hunter is heard on the air;</p> +<p class="i0">I've a horn of my own, which in secret I stow,</p> +<p class="i0">For, oddly enough, they don't like me to blow.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">We'll go round by that gate, my good sir, if you please,</p> +<p class="i0">I'm one of your sportsmen who rides at his ease;</p> +<p class="i0">And I don't care to trouble my courser to jump,</p> +<p class="i0">For whenever he does I fall off in a lump.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Then haste to the meet! The Old Berkeley shall find,</p> +<p class="i0">If I don't go precisely as fast as the wind,</p> +<p class="i0">If they'll give my Bucephalus time to take breath,</p> +<p class="i0">We shall both of us, sometimes, be in at the death!</p> +</div></div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_008.png"> +<img src="images/i_008.png" width="100%" alt="MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST MEET"/></a> +<h3>"WEATHER PERMITTING,"—MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST +MEET.</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_010.png"> +<img src="images/i_010.png" width="100%" alt="A LION IN THE PATH"/></a> +<h3>A LION IN THE PATH?</h3> +<p>Oh dear no! Merely the "<i>first open day</i>" after a long frost, and a +tom-tit has been inconsiderate enough to fly suddenly out of the fence +on the way to covert!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_011.png"> +<img src="images/i_011.png" width="100%" alt="TRIALS OF A NOVICE"/></a> +<h3>TRIALS OF A NOVICE</h3> +<p><i>Unsympathetic Bystander.</i> "Taking 'im back to 'is cab, guv'nor?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_012.png"> +<img src="images/i_012.png" width="100%" alt="THE LAST RUN"/></a> +<h3>HOW THE LAST RUN OF THE WOPSHIRE HOUNDS WAS SPOILT.</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> + +<h2>PROVERBS FOR THE TIMID HUNTSMAN</h2> + +<center><i>Dressing</i></center> + +<p>There's no toe without a corn.</p> + +<p>If the boot pinches—bear it.</p> + +<center><i>Breakfast</i></center> + +<p>A snack in time, saves nine.</p> + +<p>Faint hunger never conquered tough beef-steak.</p> + +<center><i>Mounting</i></center> + +<p>You can't make a hunter out of a hired hack.</p> + +<p>The nearer the ground the safer the seat.</p> + +<center><i>In the Field</i></center> + +<p>Take care of the hounds, but the fence may take care of itself.</p> + +<p>Too many brooks spoil the sport.</p> + +<p>One pair of spurs may bring a horse to the water, but twenty will not +make him jump.</p> + +<p>It is the howl that shows the funk.</p> + +<p>Fools break rails for wise men to go over.</p> + +<p>Snobs and their saddles are soon parted.</p> + +<center><i>At Luncheon</i></center> + +<p>A flask in the hand is worth a cask in the vault.</p> + +<p>Cut your sandwiches according to your stomach.</p> + +<center><i>Coming Home</i></center> + +<p>The nearer the home, the harder the seat.</p> + +<center><i>Bed-time</i></center> + +<p>It's a heavy sleep that has no turning.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_014.png"> +<img src="images/i_014.png" width="100%" alt="REALLY PLEASANT"/></a> +<h3>REALLY PLEASANT!</h3> +<p>Six miles from home, horse dead lame, awfully tender feet, and horribly +tight boots.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_015.png"> +<img src="images/i_015.png" width="100%" alt="I shall never get on again"/></a> +<p>"Now, if I jump it, I shall certainly fall off; and if I +dismount to open it, I shall never get on again."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_016.png"> +<img src="images/i_016.png" width="100%" alt="This is Jones"/></a> +<p>This is Jones, who thought to slip down by the rail early +in the morning, and have a gallop with the fox hounds. On looking out of +window, he finds it is a clear frosty morning. He sees a small boy +sliding—actually sliding on the pavement opposite!! and—doesn't he +hate that boy—and doesn't he say it is a beastly climate!!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> + +<h2>NEW SPORTING DICTIONARY OF FAMILIAR LATIN PHRASES.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_017a.png"> +<img src="images/i_017a.png" width="100%" alt="Labour overcomes everything"/></a> +<p>(1) Labour omnia vincit. (Labour overcomes everything.)</p> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_017b.png"> +<img src="images/i_017b.png" width="100%" alt="After you."/></a> +<p>(2) Ars est celare artem. "Après vous, mademoiselle!"</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_018.png"> +<img src="images/i_018.png" width="100%" alt="They all go off"/></a> +<p>(3) Exeunt Omnes. (They all go off.)]</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h4><span class="smcap">A Genuine Sportswoman</span></h4> + +<p><i>Mrs. Shodditon</i> (<i>to Captain Forrard, on a cub-hunting morning</i>.) "I do +hope you'll have good sport, and find plenty of foxes."</p> + +<p><i>Captain Forrard.</i> "Hope so. By the way, how is that beautiful collie of +yours that I admired so much?"</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. Shodditon.</i> "Oh! Fanny! poor dear! Our keeper shot it by mistake +for a fox!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_019a.png"> +<img src="images/i_019a.png" width="100%" alt="after weary tramp"/></a> +<p><i>Short-sighted Party</i> (<i>thrown earlier, after weary tramp, +thinks he sees mount on ploughed upland, and approaches bush +coaxingly</i>.) "Whoa, my beauty! Steady, my gal, steady then," &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_019b.png"> +<img src="images/i_019b.png" width="100%" alt="discovers error"/></a> +<p><i>Same Short-sighted Party arrived at thornbush, discovers +error, and reflects</i>—"Five miles from station, perhaps ten—fifty miles +from town, missed express, missed dinner, lost mount, wet through, +getting dusk, and, by the way, where am I?"</p>. +<p> [<i>Left reflecting</i>.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_020.png"> +<img src="images/i_020.png" width="100%" alt="Gorgeous Stranger"/></a> +<p><i>Gorgeous Stranger.</i> "I say, Huntsman, would you mind +blowing your horn two or three times? I want my fellow, who has my +flask, to know where we are, don't you know!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p> + +<h2>DIARY OF THE MODERN HUNT SECRETARY</h2> + +<blockquote><p>"Capping all non-subscribers is pretty generally resorted to, this +season, not only in the shires, but also with provincial +packs."—<i>Daily Press.</i>]</p></blockquote> + +<p><i>Monday.</i>—Splendid gallop after non-subscriber. Spotted the quarry on +good-looking chestnut, whilst we were drawing big covert. Edged my horse +over in his direction, but non-subscriber very wary—think he must have +known my face as "collector of tolls." Retired again to far side of +spinney and disguised myself in pair of false whiskers, which I always +keep for these occasions. Craftily sidled up, and finally got within +speaking distance, under cover of the whiskers, which effectually masked +my battery. "Beg pardon, sir," I began, lifting my hat, "but I don't +think I have the pleasure of knowing your name as a subscri——" But he +was off like a shot. Went away over a nice line of country, all grass, +and a good sound take-off to most of the fences. Non-subscriber had got +away with about a three lengths lead of me, and that interval was fairly +maintained for the first mile and a half of the race. Then, felt most +annoyed to see that my quarry somewhat gained on me as we left the +pasture land and went across a holding piece of plough. Over a stiff +post and rails, and on again, across some light fallow, towards a big +dry ditch. The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it—must say he +rode very straight, but what <i>won't</i> men do to avoid "parting?"—horse +jumped short and disappeared from view together with his rider. Next +moment I had also come a cropper at ditch, and rolled down on top of my +prey. "Excuse me," I said, taking out my pocket-book and struggling to +my knees in six inches of mud, "but when you rather abruptly started +away from covertside, I was just about to remark that I did not think +you were a subscriber, and that I should have much pleasure in taking +the customary 'cap'—thank you." And he paid up quite meekly. We agreed, +as we rode back together, in the direction in which we imagined hounds +to be, that even if they had got away with a good fox, the field would +not be likely to have had so smart a gallop as he and I had already +enjoyed. Lost my day's hunting, of course.</p> + +<p><i>Thursday.</i>—Got away after another non-subscriber, led him over four +fields, after which he ran me out of sight. Lost my day's hunting again, +but was highly commended by M.F.H. for my zeal.</p> + +<p><i>Saturday.</i>—M.F.H. pointed out five non-subscribers, and I at once +started off to "cap" them. Lost another day with hounds—shall send in +my resignation.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_022.png"> +<img src="images/i_022.png" width="100%" alt="where has that horse gone"/></a> +<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>who has just executed a double somersault and is +somewhat dazed</i>.) "Now where the dickens has that horse gone to?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_023.png"> +<img src="images/i_023.png" width="100%" alt="don't let the dogs maul 'im"/></a> +<h3>ON EXMOOR</h3> +<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>very excited after his first gallop with staghounds</i>.) "Hi, +mister, don't let the dogs maul 'im, and I'll take the 'aunch at a bob a +pound!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_024.png"> +<img src="images/i_024.png" width="100%" alt="COOKED ACCOUNTS"/></a> +<h3>COOKED ACCOUNTS</h3> +<p><i>Extract from old Fitzbadly's letter to a friend, describing a run in +the Midlands:</i>—"I was well forward at the brook, but lost my hat, and +had to dismount."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_025a.png"> +<img src="images/i_025a.png" width="100%" alt="Hup—yer beast"/></a> +<h3>"Hup—yer beast!"</h3> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_025b.png"> +<img src="images/i_025b.png" width="100%" alt="Hup!!—yer brute"/></a> +<h3>"Hup!!—yer brute!"</h3> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_026a.png"> +<img src="images/i_026a.png" width="100%" alt="Hover"/></a> +<h3>"Hup!!!—yer infernal, confounded —— Hover!!!"</h3> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_026b.png"> +<img src="images/i_026b.png" width="100%" alt="And Hover it was"/></a> +<h3>And "Hover" it was!</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_027.png"> +<img src="images/i_027.png" width="100%" alt="SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE"/></a> +<h3>SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE.</h3> +<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>after galloping half a mile to a holloa</i>.) "Where did you see +him?"</p> +<p><i>Yokel.</i> "Can't zay as 'ow I 'zactly <i>zeed</i> 'un, but I think I <i>smelled</i> +'un!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_028.png"> +<img src="images/i_028.png" width="100%" alt="Perkisites."/></a> +<p><i>Second Horseman No. 1.</i> "Ulloah, Danny, what are you +lookin' for?"</p> +<p><i>Second Horseman No. 2.</i> "Perkisites. Guv'nor's just been over 'ere. 'E +jumps so much 'igher than 'is 'orse, there's always some small change or +summat to be picked up!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p> + +<h2>THE NEW NIMROD</h2> + +<blockquote><p>[Mr. Pat O'Brien, M.P., was first in at the death on one occasion +with the Meath Hounds on his bicycle, and was presented with the +brush.]</p></blockquote> + +<center>Air—"<i>The Hunting Day</i>"</center> + +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">"What a fine hunting day"—</p> +<p class="i2">'Tis an old-fashioned lay</p> +<p class="i0">That I'll change to an up-to-date pome;</p> +<p class="i2">Old stagers may swear</p> +<p class="i2">That the pace isn't fair,</p> +<p class="i0">But they're left far behind us at home!</p> +<p class="i0">See cyclists and bikes on their way,</p> +<p class="i0">And scorchers their prowess display;</p> +<p class="i2">Let us join the glad throng</p> +<p class="i2">That goes wheeling along,</p> +<p class="i0">And we'll all go a-hunting to-day!</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">New Nimrods exclaim,</p> +<p class="i2">"Timber-topping" is tame,</p> +<p class="i0">And "bull-finches" simply child's play;</p> +<p class="i2">And they don't care a jot</p> +<p class="i2">For a gallop or trot,</p> +<p class="i0">Though they <i>will</i> go a-hunting to-day.</p> +<p class="i0">There's a fox made of clockwork, they say</p> +<p class="i0">They'll wind him and get him away;</p> +<p class="i2">He runs with a rush</p> +<p class="i2">On rails with his brush,</p> +<p class="i0">So we must go and chase him to-day.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">We've abolished the sounds</p> +<p class="i2">Of the horn and the hounds—</p> +<p class="i0">'Tis the bicycle squeaker that squeals</p> +<p class="i2">And the pack has been stuffed,</p> +<p class="i2">Or sent to old Cruft,</p> +<p class="i0">Now the huntsmen have taken to wheels!</p> +<p class="i0">Hairy country no more we essay,</p> +<p class="i0">Five bars, too, no longer dismay,</p> +<p class="i2">For we stick to the roads</p> +<p class="i2">In the latest of modes,</p> +<p class="i0">So we'll bike after Reynard to-day!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_030.png"> +<img src="images/i_030.png" width="100%" alt="LANGUAGE OF SPORT"/></a> +<h3>THE LANGUAGE OF SPORT.</h3> +<p>"Where the——! What the——!! Who the——!!! Why the——!!!!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_031.png"> +<img src="images/i_031.png" width="100%" alt="COMFORTING"/></a> +<h3>COMFORTING, VERY!</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman (who has mounted friend on bolting mare) shouts.</i> "You're all +right, old chap! She's never been known to refuse water, and swims like +a fish!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_032.png"> +<img src="images/i_032.png" width="100%" alt="laugh away"/></a> +<p><i>Old Stubbles</i> (<i>having pounded the swells</i>.) "Aw—haw——! +laugh away, but who be the roight side o' the fence, masters?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p> + +<h2>CUB HUNTING</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_033a.png"> +<img src="images/i_033a.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br /> +<p>1. "Ah, my boys," said Percy Johnson, "give me a good old hurry and +scurry—Heigh O! gee whoa!—over the downs and through the brushwood +after the cubs. So, early in the morning as you like. What can be more +exhilarating?"</p> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_033b.png"> +<img src="images/i_033b.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br /> +<p>2. So, in happy anticipation of the morrow's meet, he retired.</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_034a.png"> +<img src="images/i_034a.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br /> +<p>3. Later, at 4 a.m., the butler came to rouse him. "Sir!" +A pause. "Sir, th' 'osses be very nigh ready!" Uncertain voice from +within—"Eh? good-night! Remember to call me early in the morning!"</p> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_034b.png"> +<img src="images/i_034b.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br /> +<p>4. Snoring resumed <i>in infinitum</i>. Still, Percy looked rather sheepish +later on, when the others pretended they had missed him on the road, and +inquired whether he had found the morning as exhilarating as he had +expected.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p> + +<h2>MY LITTLE BROWN MARE</h2> + +<center>(<i>A Song for the commencement of the Hunting Season</i>)</center> + +<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">She's rather too lean but her head's a large size,</p> +<p class="i0">And she hasn't the average number of eyes;</p> +<p class="i0">Her hind legs are not what you'd call a good pair,</p> +<p class="i0">And she's broken both knees, has my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">You can find some amusement in counting each rib,</p> +<p class="i0">And she bites when she's hungry like mad at her crib;</p> +<p class="i0">When viewed from behind she seems all on the square,</p> +<p class="i0">She's quite a Freemason—my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Her paces are rather too fast, I suppose,</p> +<p class="i0">For she often comes down on her fine Roman nose,</p> +<p class="i0">And the way she takes fences makes hunting men stare,</p> +<p class="i0">For she backs through the gaps does my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">She has curbs on her hocks and no hair on her knees;</p> +<p class="i0">She has splints and has spavins wherever you please?</p> +<p class="i0">Her neck, like a vulture's, is horribly bare,</p> +<p class="i0">But still she's a beauty, my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">She owns an aversion to windmills and ricks,</p> +<p class="i0">When passing a waggon she lies down and kicks;</p> +<p class="i0">And the clothes of her groom she'll persistently tear—</p> +<p class="i0">But still she's no vice has my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">When turned down to grass she oft strays out of bounds;</p> +<p class="i0">She always was famous for snapping at hounds;</p> +<p class="i0">And even the baby has learnt to beware</p> +<p class="i0">The too playful bite of my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">She prances like mad and she jumps like a flea,</p> +<p class="i0">And her waltz to a brass band is something to see:</p> +<p class="i0">No circus had ever a horse, I declare,</p> +<p class="i0">That could go through the hoops like my little brown mare.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">I mount her but seldom—in fact, to be plain,</p> +<p class="i0">Like the Frenchman, when hunting I "do not remain:"</p> +<p class="i0">Since I've only one neck it would hardly be fair</p> +<p class="i0">To risk it in riding my little brown mare!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_036.png"> +<img src="images/i_036.png" width="100%" alt="Just 'op across, would ye"/></a> +<h3>TROUBLES OF A WOULD-BE SPORTSMAN</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to W.B.S.</i>). "Just 'op across, would ye, sir, and turn +those 'ounds to me, please."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_037.png"> +<img src="images/i_037.png" width="100%" alt="You want to give me a fall"/></a> +<h3>RESPICE FINEM</h3> +<p><i>Excited Shepherd</i> (<i>to careful Sportsman, inspecting fence with slight +drop</i>). "Come on, sir! All right! Anywhere 'ere!"</p> +<p><i>Careful Sportsman.</i> "All very fine! You want to give me a fall, and get +half-a-crown for catching my horse!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_038.png"> +<img src="images/i_038.png" width="100%" alt="WEEDS"/></a> +<h3>"WEEDS"</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_039.png"> +<img src="images/i_039.png" width="100%" alt="BEWARE WIRE"/></a> +<h3>"'WARE WIRE!"</h3> +<p>"Hallo, Jack! What's up?"</p> +<p>"Don' know! I'm not!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Misplaced Energy</span></h4> + +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>seeking a beaten fox</i>). "Now then, have you seen anything +of him?"</p> + +<p><i>Cockney Sportsman</i> (<i>immensely pleased with himself</i>). "Well, rather! +Why, I've just driven him into this drain for you!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_040.png"> +<img src="images/i_040.png" width="100%" alt="WHILE YOU WAIT"/></a> +<h3>"WHILE YOU WAIT"</h3> +<p>"Here, my good man, just pull those rails down. Be as quick as you can!"</p> +<p>"Take 'em down, miss! It'll be a good four hours' job, for I've been all +the mornin' a-puttin' of 'em up!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_041.png"> +<img src="images/i_041.png" width="100%" alt="ECHOES OF THE CHASE"/></a> +<h3>ECHOES OF THE CHASE. BOXING DAY</h3> +<p><i>Holiday Sportsman</i> (<i>to Whip, who has been hollering</i>). "Where's the +fox?"</p> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "Gone away, of course."</p> +<p><i>H. S.</i> "Gone away! Wotcher makin' all that noise for, then? I thought +you'd caught 'im!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_042.png"> +<img src="images/i_042.png" width="100%" alt="EASILY SATISFIED"/></a> +<h3>EASILY SATISFIED</h3> +<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>who all but dissolved partnership at the last fence</i>). "Thank +goodness I've got hold of the reins again! If I could but get my foot +into that confounded stirrup, I should be all right!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p> + +<h4>A Nice Prospect</h4> + +<p><i>Host</i> (<i>to Perks, an indifferent horseman, who has come down for the +hunting</i>). "Now, look here, Perks, old chap, as you're a light weight, +I'll get you to ride this young mare of mine. You see, I want to get her +qualified for our Hunt Cup, and she's not up to my weight, or I'd ride +her myself. Perhaps I'd better tell you she hasn't been ridden to hounds +before, so she's sure to be a bit nervous at first; and mind you steady +her at the jumps, as she's apt to rush them; and I wouldn't take her too +near other people, as she has a nasty temper, and knows how to use her +heels; and, whatever you do, don't let her get you down, or she'll tear +you to pieces. The last man that rode her is in hospital now. But keep +your eye on her, and remember what I've said, and you'll be all right!"</p> + +<p> [<i>Consternation of Perks</i></p> + +<hr /> + +<h4><span class="smcap">'Arry on 'Orseback</span></h4> + +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will,</p> +<p class="i0">"The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill:"</p> +<p class="i0">And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare,</p> +<p class="i0">The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_044.png"> +<img src="images/i_044.png" width="100%" alt="W. STANDS FOR WIRE"/></a> +<h3>'W. STANDS FOR WIRE'</h3> +<p>"Hulloah, Jarge! Been puttin' up some wire to keep the fox-hunter away?"</p> +<p>"Noa, I b'ain't put up no wire; but the 'unt they sends me a lot o' them +boards with 'W' on um, so I just stuck 'em up all round the land, and +they never comes nigh o' me now!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_045.png"> +<img src="images/i_045.png" width="100%" alt="THE HUNTING SEASON"/></a> +<h3>THE HUNTING SEASON</h3> +<p><i>Rector.</i> "Is that the parcels post, James? He's early this morning, +isn't he?" (<i>Noise without, baying of dogs, &c.</i>) "What's all this——"</p> +<p><i>James</i> (<i>excited</i>). "Yes, sir. Postman says as how the young 'ounds, a +comin' back from cubbin', found 'im near the kennels, and runned 'im all +the way 'ere. They was close on 'im when he got in! Thinks it was a +packet o' red 'errins in the bag, sir! I see the run from the pantry +window"—(<i>with enthusiasm</i>)—"a beautiful ten minutes' bu'st, sir!"]</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_046.png"> +<img src="images/i_046.png" width="100%" alt="Duck, you fool"/></a><br /><br /> +<center>"Duck, you fool! Duck!"</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Hunting "Day by Day"</span></h3> + +<p>"The Mudsquashington Foxhounds had a good day's sport from Wotsisname +Coverts (which were laid for a large number). They found in Thingamy +Woods, rattled him round the Osier Beds, and then through the Gorse, +just above Sumware. Leaving this and turning left-handed, he ran on as +far as Sumotherplace, where he finally got to ground. Amongst the +numerous field were Lord Foozle and Lady Frump, Messrs. Borkins, +Poshbury, and Tomkyn-Smith."<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor"><sup>[A]</sup></a></p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label"><sup>[A]</sup></span></a> Half a dozen similar paragraphs cut out as being too +exciting for the average reader's brain to bear.—<span class="smcap">Ed.</span></p></div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">At Melton</span></h3> + +<p><i>First Sportsman.</i> "That crock of yours seems to be a bit of a +songster."</p> + +<p><i>Second Sportsman.</i> "Yes, he has always been like that since I lent him +to a well-known English tenor."</p> + +<p><i>First Sportsman</i> (<i>drily</i>). "You should have taken him in exchange."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_048.png"> +<img src="images/i_048.png" width="100%" alt="A NICE BEGINNING"/></a> +<h3>A NICE BEGINNING.</h3> +<p>The above is not a French bull-fight, but merely the unpleasant +adventure Mr. Jopling experienced on our opening day, when a skittish +Alderney crossed him at the first fence.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_049.png"> +<img src="images/i_049.png" width="100%" alt="ARRY ON ORSEBACK"/></a> +<h3>'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK</h3> +<p><i>'Arry</i> (<i>in extremities</i>). "Well, gi' <i>me</i> a <i>bike</i>!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_050.png"> +<img src="images/i_050.png" width="100%" alt="sit tight this time"/></a> +<h3>CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM</h3> +<p><i>Miss Ethel.</i> "Now, sit tight this time, Charles. How could you be so +stupid as to let him go?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_051.png"> +<img src="images/i_051.png" width="100%" alt="Don't jump here"/></a><br /><br /> +<p><i>Voice from the ditch.</i> "Don't jump here!"</p> +<p><i>Irish Huntsman.</i> "And what would ye be after down there? +Wather-cresses?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Rather</span></h3> + +<p>"Is fox-hunting dangerous?" asks one of our daily papers. A fox informs +us that it has its risks.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_052.png"> +<img src="images/i_052.png" width="100%" alt="let me 'ave a turn"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Rough Rider</i> (<i>to old Creeper, who will not let his +horse jump</i>). "Now then, gov'nor, if you are quite sure you can't get +under it, perhaps you'll let me 'ave a turn!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Proof Positive</span></h3> + +<p><i>Podson</i> (<i>lately returned from abroad</i>). "Well, I hear you've been +having a capital season, Thruster."</p> + +<p><i>Thruster.</i> "Oh, rippin'! Why, I've had both collar-bones broken, left +wrist sprained, and haven't got a sound horse left in my string!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_053.png"> +<img src="images/i_053.png" width="100%" alt="INEXPRESSIBLE"/></a> +<h3>INEXPRESSIBLE</h3> +<p><i>Master Jack</i> (<i>son of M.F.H., much upset by hard weather</i>). "Go skating +with you! Not if I know it. May be all very well for you women and those +curate chaps—but we hunting men, by George!!!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">By the Covert Side</span></h3> + +<p><i>Fred</i> (<i>a notorious funk</i>). "Bai Jove! Jack, I'm afraid I've lost my +nerve this season!"</p> + +<p><i>Jack.</i> "Have you? Doosid sorry for the poor beggar who finds it!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_054.png"> +<img src="images/i_054.png" width="100%" alt="Cartoon"/></a> +<p><i>Elderly Sportsman.</i> "I wonder they don't have that place +stopped. Why, I remember running a fox to ground there twenty years ago! +Don't you?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_055.png"> +<img src="images/i_055.png" width="100%" alt="THEORY AND PRACTICE"/></a> +<h3>THEORY AND PRACTICE; OR, WHY THE ENGAGEMENT WAS BROKEN +OFF</h3> +<p><i>Lady Di</i> (<i>to Jack, whose vows of devotion have been interrupted by a +fox being hollered away</i>). "Oh, Jack, my hair's coming down! Do stop and +hold my horse. I won't be five minutes."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_056.png"> +<img src="images/i_056.png" width="100%" alt="AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR"/></a> +<h3>AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR!</h3> +<center><i>A Dream of Mr. Punch's Sporting Correspondent</i></center> + +<blockquote><p>["Mr. Arthur Wilson, Master of the Holderness Hunt, has received an +intimation from the War Office that, in consequence of the war with +the Transvaal, ten of his horses will be required."—<i>Daily +Paper.</i>]</p></blockquote> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_057.png"> +<img src="images/i_057.png" width="100%" alt="NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"/></a> +<h3>"NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_058.png"> +<img src="images/i_058.png" width="100%" alt="ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE"/></a> +<h3>ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE</h3> +<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>who has just jumped on fallen Sportsman</i>). "I'm awfully sorry! +I hope we didn't hurt you?"</p> +<p><i>Fallen Sportsman.</i> "Oh, I'm all right, thanks. But—er—do you mind +leaving me my hat?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">In the Midlands</span></h3> + +<p><i>Belated Hunting Man</i> (<i>to Native</i>). "Can you kindly point out the way +to the Fox and Cock Inn?"</p> + +<p><i>Native.</i> "D'ye mean the Barber's Arms?"</p> + +<p><i>B. H. M.</i> "No, the Fox and Cock!"</p> + +<p><i>Native.</i> "Well, that's what we call the Barber's Arms."</p> + +<p><i>B. H. M.</i> "Why so?"</p> + +<p><i>Native</i> (<i>with a hoarse laugh</i>). "Well, ain't the Fox and Cock the same +as the Brush and Comb?"</p> + +<blockquote><p>[<i>Vanishes into the gloaming, leaving the B. H. M. muttering those +words which are not associated with benediction, while he wearily +passes on his way.</i></p></blockquote> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Appropriate to the Winter Season</span></h3> + +<p>For sportsmen, the old song long ago popular, entitled "<i>There's a Good +Time Coming, Boys</i>," if sung by a M.F.H. with a bad cold, as thus: +"<i>There's a Good Tibe Cubbing, Boys!</i>"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_060.png"> +<img src="images/i_060.png" width="100%" alt="hunting cap comes home"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<center>Mr. Briggs's hunting cap comes home, but that is really a +thing Mrs. Briggs <i>can</i> not, and <i>will</i> not put up with!</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_061.png"> +<img src="images/i_061.png" width="100%" alt="obliged to lead his horse up"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>Mr. Briggs goes out with the Brighton Harriers. He has a +capital day. The only drawback is, that he is obliged to lead his horse +<i>up</i> hill to ease him—</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_062.png"> +<img src="images/i_062.png" width="100%" alt="And down"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>and <i>down</i> hill because he is afraid of going over his +head—so that he doesn't get quite so much horse exercise as he could +wish!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p> + +<h2>AT THE HUNT BALL</h2> + +<center>(<i>The Sad Complaint of a Man in Black</i>)</center> + +<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0"><span class="smcap">o Molly</span>, dear, my head, I fear, is going round and round,</p> +<p class="i0">Your cousin isn't in the hunt, when hunting men abound;</p> +<p class="i0">A waltz for me no more you'll keep, the girls appear to think</p> +<p class="i0">There's a law been made in favour of the wearing of the pink.</p> +<p class="i0">Sure I met you in the passage, and I took you by the hand,</p> +<p class="i0">And says I, "How many dances, Molly, darlint, will ye stand?"</p> +<p class="i0">But your card was full, you said it with a most owdacious wink,</p> +<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p> +<p class="i0">You'd a waltz for Charlie Thruster, but you'd divil a one for me,</p> +<p class="i0">Though he dances like a steam-engine, as all the world may see;</p> +<p class="i0">'Tis an illigant divarsion to observe the crowd divide,</p> +<p class="i0">As he plunges down the ball-room, taking couples in his stride.</p> +<p class="i0">'Tis a cropper you'll be coming, but you know your business best,</p> +<p class="i0">Still, it's bad to see you romping round with Charlie and the rest;</p> +<p class="i0">Now you're dancing with Lord Arthur—sure, he's had enough to dhrink—</p> +<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p> +<p class="i0">Your cruelty ashamed you'll be someday to call to mind,</p> +<p class="i0">You'll be glad to ask my pardon, then, for being so unkind,</p> +<p class="i0">The hunting men are first, to-night—well, let them have their whack—</p> +<p class="i0">You'll be glad to dance with me, someday—when all the coats are black!</p> +<p class="i0">But, since pink's the only colour now that fills your pretty head,</p> +<p class="i0">Bedad, I'll have some supper, and then vanish home to bed.</p> +<p class="i0">'Tis the most distressful ball-room I was ever in, I think,</p> +<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_064.png"> +<img src="images/i_064.png" width="100%" alt="ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS"/></a> +<h3>MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS</h3> +<p>Mr. Briggs can't bear flying leaps, so he makes for a gap—which is +immediately filled by a frantic Protectionist, who is vowing that he +will pitchfork Mr. B. if he comes "galloperravering" over his +fences—danged if he doant!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_065.png"> +<img src="images/i_065.png" width="100%" alt="A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT"/></a> +<h3>A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT</h3> +<p><i>Miss Connie</i> (<i>to Gent in brook</i>). "Could you tell me if there is a +bridge anywhere handy?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_066.png"> +<img src="images/i_066.png" width="100%" alt="NOT TO BE BEATEN"/></a> +<h3>NOT TO BE BEATEN</h3> +<p><i>Cissy.</i> "Why should they call the hare's tail the scut?"</p> +<p><i>Bobby</i> (<i>with a reputation as an authority to keep up</i>). "Oh—er—why +you see—oh, of course, because the hare scuttles, you know, when she is +hunted."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Why he waited</span></h3> + +<p>"What's the matter with Jack's new horse? He won't start."</p> + +<p>"Don't know; but they say he's been in an omnibus. Perhaps he's waiting +for the bell!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_067.png"> +<img src="images/i_067.png" width="100%" alt="PLEASURES OF HUNTING"/></a> +<h3>THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING</h3> +<p>To get a toss in a snowdrift, and, while lying half-smothered, to be +sworn at for not shouting to warn the man following you.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">So Consoling</span></h3> + +<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>whose mare has just kicked a member of the Hunt, who was +following too closely</i>). "Oh, I'm so sorry! I do hope it didn't hurt +you! She's such a gentle thing, and could only have done it in the +merest play, you know."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_068.png"> +<img src="images/i_068.png" width="100%" alt="POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS"/></a> +<h3>POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS</h3> +<p><i>Mr. Phunkstick</i> (<i>quite put out</i>). "Talk about agricultural depression, +indeed! Don't believe in it! Never saw fences kept in such disgustingly +good order in my life!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Irish Hunting Tipple</span></h3> + +<p><i>Englishman</i> (<i>having partaken of his friend's flask, feels as if he had +swallowed melted lead</i>.) "Terribly strong! Pure whiskey, is it not?"</p> + +<p><i>Irishman.</i> "Faith! not at all! It's greatly diluted with gin!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_069.png"> +<img src="images/i_069.png" width="100%" alt="IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY"/></a> +<h3>IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY</h3> +<p><i>Railway Porter</i> (<i>who has been helping lady to mount</i>). "I hope you'll +'ave a good day, ma'am."</p> +<p><i>Lady Diana.</i> "I just hope we'll find a fox."</p> +<p><i>Porter</i> (<i>innocently</i>). "Oh, that's all right, ma'am. The fox came down +by the last train!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_070.png"> +<img src="images/i_070.png" width="100%" alt="INSULT TO INJURY"/></a> +</div> +<h3>INSULT TO INJURY</h3> +<p><i>Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed—a fox!</i></p> +<p><i>Incensed local M.F.H.</i> "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my +foxes!"</p> +<p><i>F. N.</i> "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p> + +<h2>HUNTING SONG</h2> + +<center>(<i>To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell</i>)</center> + +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!</p> +<p class="i0">The moon is up, the moon is up,</p> +<p class="i2">The larks begin to fly,</p> +<p class="i0">And like a scarlet buttercup</p> +<p class="i2">Aurora gilds the sky.</p> +<p class="i0">Then let us all a-hunting go,</p> +<p class="i2">Come, sound the gay French horn,</p> +<p class="i0">And chase the spiders to and fro,</p> +<p class="i2">Amid the standing corn.</p> +<p class="i0">Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Uncommonly Keen</span></h3> + +<p>"Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What +has happened?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and +swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_072.png"> +<img src="images/i_072.png" width="100%" alt="IN A BLIND DITCH"/></a> +<h3>IN A BLIND DITCH</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for +"a quiet morning's outing"</i>). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what +the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_073.png"> +<img src="images/i_073.png" width="100%" alt="DRY HUMOUR"/></a> +<h3>DRY HUMOUR</h3> +<p>"Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_074.png"> +<img src="images/i_074.png" width="100%" alt="WIREPROOF"/></a> +<h3>WIREPROOF</h3> +<p>Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the +meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of +wire.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_075.png"> +<img src="images/i_075.png" width="100%" alt="Not hurt, I hope"/></a> +<h3>A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS</h3> +<p>"Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?"</p> +<p>"Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_076.png"> +<img src="images/i_076.png" width="100%" alt="No jolly fear"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"</p> +<p><i>Tommy</i> (<i>home for the holidays</i>). "No jolly fear! You want to get first +start!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span></p> + +<h3>"<span class="smcap">Business First</span>"</h3> + +<p><i>Favourite Son of M.F.H.</i> (<i>to old huntsman</i>). "No, Smith, you won't see +much more of me for the rest of the season; if at all."</p> + +<p><i>Smith</i> (<i>with some concern</i>). "Indeed, sir! 'Ow's that?"</p> + +<p><i>Son of M.F.H.</i> "Well, you see, I'm reading hard."</p> + +<p><i>Smith</i> (<i>interrogatively</i>). "Readin' 'ard, sir?"</p> + +<p><i>Son of M.F.H.</i> "Yes, I'm reading Law."</p> + +<p><i>Smith.</i> "Well, I likes to read a bit o' them perlice reports myself, +sir, now an' then; but I don't allow 'em to hinterfere with a honest +day's 'untin'."</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">An Omission best omitted</span></h3> + +<p><i>Brown</i> (<i>on foot</i>). "Do you know what the total is for the season?"</p> + +<p><i>Simkins</i> (<i>somewhat new to country life</i>). "Fifteen pairs of foxes, the +huntsman says. But he seems to have kept no count of rabbits or 'ares, +and I know they've killed and eaten a lot of those!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_078.png"> +<img src="images/i_078.png" width="100%" alt="PUTTING IT NICELY"/></a> +<h3>PUTTING IT NICELY</h3> +<p><i>Young Lady</i> (<i>politely, to old Gentleman who is fiddling with gap</i>). "I +don't wish to hurry you, sir, but when you have quite finished your game +of spilikins I should like to come!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_079.png"> +<img src="images/i_079.png" width="100%" alt="TERPSICHOREAN"/></a> +<h3>TERPSICHOREAN</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to Dancing Man, who has accepted a mount</i>). "Hold on +tight, sir, and she'll <i>waltz</i> over with you.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_080.png"> +<img src="images/i_080.png" width="100%" alt="offer you a drink"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Benevolent Stranger.</i> "Allow me, sir, to offer you a +drink!"</p> +<p><i>Unfortunate Sportsman</i> (<i>just out of brook</i>). "Thanks; but I've had a +drop too much already!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_081.png"> +<img src="images/i_081.png" width="100%" alt="THE MAGIC WORD"/></a> +<h3>THE MAGIC WORD</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>having run a fox to ground, to yokel</i>). "Run away down and +get some o' your fellows to come up with spades, will ye? Tell 'em we're +after hidden treasure!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_082.png"> +<img src="images/i_082.png" width="100%" alt="A CAPITAL DODGE"/></a> +<h3>A CAPITAL DODGE</h3> +<p>Among his native banks Old Poddles takes a lot of beating. He says +there's nothing easier when you know how to negotiate 'em.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p> + +<h2>HUNTING EXTRAORDINARY</h2> + +<p>Jobson, who edits a cheerful little weekly, said to me the other day:</p> + +<p>"You hunt, don't you?"</p> + +<p>I looked at him knowingly. Jobson interpreted my smile according to his +preconceived idea.</p> + +<p>"I thought so," he continued.</p> + +<p>"Well, you might do me a bright little article—about half a column, you +know—on hunting, will you?"</p> + +<p>Why should I hesitate? Jobson is safe for cash; and he had not asked me +to give my own experiences of the hunting field. I replied warily, "I +fancy I know the sort of thing you want."</p> + +<p>"Good," he said, and before we could arrive at any detailed explanation +he had banged the door and dashed downstairs, jumped into his hansom and +was off.</p> + +<p>This was the article:-</p> + +<h3>THOUGHTS ON HUNTING.</h3> + +<p>It is hardly possible to overrate the value of hunting as a National +sport. Steeplechasing is a Grand-National sport, but it is the sport of +the rich, whereas hunting is not. By judiciously dodging the Hunt +Secretary, you can, in fact, hunt for nothing. Of course, people will +come at me open-mouthed for this assertion, and say, "How about the keep +of your horses?" To which I reply, "If you keep a carriage, hunt the +carriage horse; if you don't, borrow a friend's horse for a long ride in +the country, and accidentally meet the hounds." To proceed. This has +been a season of poor scent. Of course, the horses of the present<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> day +have deteriorated as line hunters: they possess not the keen sense of +smell which their grandsires had. But despite this the sport goes gaily +on. There are plenty of foxes—but we cannot agree with the popular idea +of feeding them on poultry. And yet, in every hunt, we see hunters +subscribing to poultry funds. This is not as it should be: Spott's meat +biscuit would be much better for foxes' food.</p> + +<p>But these be details: let us hie forrard and listen to the cheery voice +of sly Reynard as he is winded from his earth. The huntsman blows his +horn, and soon the welkin rings with a chorus of brass instruments; the +tufters dash into covert, and anon the cheerful note of <i>Ponto</i> or +<i>Gripper</i> gives warning that a warrantable fox is on foot—well, of +course, he couldn't be on horseback, but this is merely a venatorial +<i>façon de parler</i>. Away go the huntsmen, showing marvellous dexterity in +cracking their whips and blowing their horns at the same moment. Last of +all come the hounds, trailing after their masters—ah, good dogs, you +cannot hope to keep up very far with the swifter-footed horses! +Nevertheless, they strain at their leashes and struggle for a better +place at the horses' heels. "Hike forrard! tally ho! whoo-hoop!" They +swoop over the fields like a charge of cavalry. But after several hours' +hard running a check is at hand: the fox falters, then struggles on +again, its tail waving over its head. As its pursuers approach, it +rushes up a tree to sit on the topmost branch and crack nuts.</p> + +<p>The panting horses arrive—some with their riders still in the saddle, +though many, alas! have fallen by the wayside. Next come the hounds, at +a long interval—poor <i>Fido</i>, poor <i>Vic</i>, poor <i>Snap</i>! you have done +your best to keep up, but the horses have out-distanced you! The +whipper-in immediately climbs the tree in which the little red-brown +animal still peacefully cracks its nuts, its pretty tail curled well +over its head. Its would-be captor carries a revolving wire cage, and, +by sleight-of-hand movement, manages to get the quarry securely into it. +Then he descends, places the cage in a cart and it is driven home.</p> + +<p>The "mort" is sounded by four green velvet-coated huntsmen, with horns +wound round their bodies; a beautiful brush presented to the lady who +was first up at the "take"; and then the field slowly disperse. Tally +Ho-Yoicks! all is over for the day.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_082.png"> +<img src="images/i_084.png" width="100%" alt="MANNERS IN THE FIELD"/></a> +<h3>MANNERS IN THE FIELD</h3> +<p>Always be prepared to give the lead to a lady, even at some little +personal inconvenience.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_085.png"> +<img src="images/i_085.png" width="100%" alt="PLEASURES OF HUNTING"/></a> +<h3>THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING</h3> +<p>Having been cannoned and nearly brought down, to be asked if you are +trying the American seat.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_087.png"> +<img src="images/i_087.png" width="100%" alt="HUNTING SKETCH"/></a> +<h3>HUNTING SKETCH</h3> +<p>The Cast Shoe, or Late for the Meat.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_088.png"> +<img src="images/i_088.png" width="100%" alt="A KINDLY VIEW OF IT"/></a> +<h3>A KINDLY VIEW OF IT</h3> +<p><i>First Rustic</i> (<i>to Second Ditto</i>). "Oh, I say! Ain't he fond of his +horse!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_089.png"> +<img src="images/i_089.png" width="100%" alt="Where are you going"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> "Hold hard! Hold hard, please!! Where <i>are</i> you +going with that brute?"</p> +<p><i>Diana</i> (<i>plaintively</i>). "I wish I knew!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span></p> + +<h2>THE LAST DAY OF HUNTING</h2> + +<center>(<i>Stanzas for the First of April</i>)</center> + +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Right day to bid a long farewell</p> +<p class="i2">To the field's gladsome glee;</p> +<p class="i0">To hang the crop upon its peg,</p> +<p class="i2">The saddle on its tree.</p> +<p class="i0">All Fools' the day, all Fools' the deed,</p> +<p class="i2">That hunting's end doth bring—</p> +<p class="i0">With all those stinking violets,</p> +<p class="i2">And humbug of the Spring!</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Good-bye to pig-skin and to pink,</p> +<p class="i2">Good-bye to hound and horse!</p> +<p class="i0">The whimpering music sudden heard</p> +<p class="i2">From cover-copse and gorse;</p> +<p class="i0">The feathering stems, the sweeping ears,</p> +<p class="i2">The heads to scent laid low,</p> +<p class="i0">The find, the burst, the "Gone-away!"</p> +<p class="i2">The rattling "Tally-ho!"</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">My horses may eat off their heads,</p> +<p class="i2">My huntsman eat his heart;</p> +<p class="i0">My hounds may dream of kills and runs</p> +<p class="i2">In which they've borne their part,</p> +<p class="i0">Until the season's bore is done,</p> +<p class="i2">And Parliament set free,</p> +<p class="i0">And cub-hunting comes back again</p> +<p class="i2">To make a man of me!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_091.png"> +<img src="images/i_091.png" width="100%" alt="You're dropping your fish"/></a> +<h3>"A-HUNTING WE WILL GO!"</h3> +<p><i>Lady.</i> "You're dropping your fish!"</p> +<p><i>Irish Fish Hawker</i> (<i>riding hard</i>). "Och, bad luck to thim! Niver +moind. Sure we're kapin' up wid the gentry!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_092.png"> +<img src="images/i_092.png" width="100%" alt="JUMPING POWDER"/></a> +<h3>JUMPING POWDER</h3> +<p>(<i>Mr. Twentystun having a nip on his way to covert</i>)</p> +<p><i>Small Boy.</i> "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a heighty-ton gun a chargin' of +'isself afore goin' into haction!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_093.png"> +<img src="images/i_093.png" width="100%" alt="DRAWN BLANK"/></a> +<h3>DRAWN BLANK</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "How is it you never have any foxes here now?"</p> +<p><i>Keeper</i> (<i>who has orders to shoot them</i>.) "Pheasants have eat 'em all!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">The Advantage of Education</span></h3> + +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>who has had occasion to reprimand hard-riding Stranger</i>.) "I'm +afraid I used rather strong language to you just now."</p> + +<p><i>Stranger.</i> "Strong language? A mere <i>twitter</i>, sir. You should hear +<i>our</i> Master!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_094.png"> +<img src="images/i_094.png" width="100%" alt="it's only mud"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Irate Non-sporting Farmer.</i> "Hi! you there! What the +Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!"</p> +<p><i>'Arry.</i> "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? <i>Wheat!</i> Why, it's only +bloomin' <i>mud!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">"Foot and Mouth" Trouble</span></h3> + +<p>A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot +securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon +had to be summoned to its assistance. This recalls the ancient Irish +legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot +into it. But that, of course, was a bull.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Decidedly Not</span></h3> +<p><i>Nervous Visitor</i> (<i>pulling up at stiff-looking fence</i>.) "Are you going to +take this hedge, sir?"</p> +<p><i>Sportsman.</i> "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned."</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Ungrateful</span></h3> + +<p><i>The Pride of the Hunt</i> (<i>to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has +been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate</i>.) "Mr. Smith, if you +really <i>can't</i> open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the +way, and allow me to <i>jump</i> it!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_096.png"> +<img src="images/i_096.png" width="100%" alt="APT"/></a> +<h3>APT</h3> +<p><i>Brown</i> (<i>helping lady out of water</i>.) "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you +remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_097.png"> +<img src="images/i_097.png" width="100%" alt="A CHECK"/></a> +<h3>A CHECK</h3> +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he +has seen the lost fox</i>.) "How long have you been working here, master?"</p> +<p><i>Old Rustic</i> (<i>not seeing the point</i>.) "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_098.png"> +<img src="images/i_098.png" width="100%" alt="WHAT'S IN A NAME"/></a> +<h3>"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"</h3> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "<i>Wisdom!</i> Get away there!! <i>Wisdom!!</i> <i>Wisdom!!!</i> Ugh!—you +always were the biggest fool in the pack!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_099.png"> +<img src="images/i_099.png" width="100%" alt="being helped out of a brook"/></a> +<h3>SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY</h3> +<p><i>Mrs. Brown</i> (<i>being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has +also succeeded in catching her horse</i>.) "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you +<i>so</i> much!"</p> +<p><i>Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain.</i> "Not at all—don't mention +it." (<i>Wishing to add something excessively polite and appropriate.</i>) +"Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again +for you."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Reassuring</span></h3> + +<p><i>Criticising friend</i> (<i>to nervous man on new horse</i>.) "Oh! now I recollect +that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a +collar-bone for each of them."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_100.png"> +<img src="images/i_100.png" width="100%" alt="TIP OF THE MORNING"/></a> +<h3>"THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!"</h3> +<p><i>First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,</i> "When other tips, and +t'other parts, Then he remembers <i>me!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_101.png"> +<img src="images/i_101.png" width="100%" alt="goin' to try it backwards"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Giles</i> (<i>indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting +his turn</i>.) "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it +back'ards!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_102.png"> +<img src="images/i_102.png" width="100%" alt="THE HARDUP HARRIERS"/></a> +<h3>WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS</h3> +<p><i>Dismounted Huntsman</i> (<i>to his mount</i>.) "Whoa, you old brute! To think I +went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old +'idebound 'umbug!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p> + +<h2>'INTS ON 'UNTING, BY 'ARRY</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_103.png"> +<img src="images/i_103.png" width="100%" alt="On Clothes"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(1)<span class="smcap">On Clothes.</span>—"Why not employ local talent? Saves half +the money, and no one can tell the difference."</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_104.png"> +<img src="images/i_104.png" width="100%" alt="try to pull it out"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse's +tail, just try to pull it out!</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_105.png"> +<img src="images/i_105.png" width="100%" alt=" Don't buy a horse"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(3) Don't buy a horse because he is described as being +"Well known with the—— Hounds." It might be true.</p> +</div> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_106.png"> +<img src="images/i_106.png" width="100%" alt="a bit out of hand"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand, +just run him up against some one.</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_107.png"> +<img src="images/i_107.png" width="100%" alt="opening a gate for the huntsman"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don't fall into +the middle of the pack!</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_108.png"> +<img src="images/i_108.png" width="100%" alt="Sit well back at your fences"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(6) Sit well back at your fences!</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_109.png"> +<img src="images/i_109.png" width="100%" alt="Look before you leap"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<center>(7) Look before you leap.</center> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_110.png"> +<img src="images/i_110.png" width="100%" alt="If you lose your horse"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to +catch it for you.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Excusable</span></h3> + +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of +seed-field</i>.) "Blank it all, Rogerson, what's the good o' me trying to +keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across 'em?"</p> + +<p><i>Hard-Riding Farmer.</i> "It's all right. They're my own! Ar've just come +ower my neighbour's wheat, and ar couldn't for vary sham(e) miss my own +seeads!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Anxious to Sell</span></h3> + +<p><i>Dealer</i> (<i>to Hunting Man, whose mount has <span class="smcap">NOT</span> answered expectations</i>.) +"How much do you want for that nag o' yours, sir?"</p> + +<p><i>Hunting Man.</i> "Well, I'll take a hundred guineas."</p> + +<p><i>Dealer.</i> "Make it <i>shillings</i>."</p> + +<p><i>H. M.</i> (<i>delighted</i>.) "He's yours!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_112.png"> +<img src="images/i_112.png" width="100%" alt="NOT A LADIES' DAY"/></a> +<h3>NOT A LADIES' DAY</h3> +<p><i>Miss Scramble.</i> "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I +shall do."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Casual</span></h3> + +<p><i>Owner of let-out hunters</i> (<i>to customer just returned from day's sport</i>.) +"Are you aware, sir, that ain't my 'orse?"</p> + +<p><i>Sportsman.</i> "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I <i>did</i> collar the wrong gee +during that scrimmage at the brook!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">At our Opening Meet</span></h3> + +<p><i>Stranger from over the water.</i> "I guess you've a mighty smart bunch of +dogs there, m'lord!"</p> + +<p><i>Noble but crusty M.F.H.</i> "Then you guess wrong, sir. <i>This is a pack of +hounds!</i>"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Must be Hungry</span></h3> + +<p>"Wish you'd feed your horse before he comes out."</p> + +<p>"Eh—why—hang it!—what do you mean?"</p> + +<p>"He's always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there's some +chance of getting at a little corn!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_114.png"> +<img src="images/i_114.png" width="100%" alt="Have you seen my hare"/></a> +<h3>THE RETORT COURTEOUS</h3> +<center>(<i>A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season</i>)</center><br /> +<p><i>Major Topknot, M.H.</i> (<i>to butcher's boy</i>.) "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my +hare?"</p> +<p><i>Butcher's Boy.</i> "Ga-a-rn! 'Ave you seen my whiskers?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Disinterested Kindness</span></h3> + +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>just come to grief, to Kindhearted Stranger who has captured +horse</i>.) "I say, I'm awfully obliged to you! I can get on all right, so +please don't wait!"</p> + +<p><i>Kindhearted Stranger.</i> "Oh, I'd rather, thanks! I want you to flatten +the next fence for me!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Encouraging</span></h3> + +<p><i>Nervous Man</i> (<i>who hires his hunters</i>.) "Know anything about this mare? +Ringbone tells me she's as clever as a man!"</p> + +<p><i>Friend.</i> "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her +play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_116.png"> +<img src="images/i_116.png" width="100%" alt="Voice from bottom of ditch"/></a> +<h3>NUNC AUT NUNQUAM</h3> +<p><i>Voice from bottom of ditch.</i> "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped +out of my pockets, and it's all down here somewhere!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_117.png"> +<img src="images/i_117.png" width="100%" alt="A REFORMED CHARACTER"/></a> +<h3>A REFORMED CHARACTER</h3> +<p><i>John.</i> "Goin' to give up 'untin'! Deary! deary! An' 'ow's that, +missie?"</p> +<p><i>Little Miss Di.</i> "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is +going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to +be a district visitor instead!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%"> +<a href="images/i_118.png"> +<img src="images/i_118.png" width="100%" alt="WHO'S WHO"/></a> +<h3>MOTTOES; OR, "WHO'S WHO?"</h3> +<p>Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto—"<i>Medici jussu</i>."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Something like a Character</span></h3> + +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H.</i>.) "Proud to +make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten +seasons, and never saw 'im turn 'is 'ead from hanything as was jumpable! +Knows a 'oss and knows a 'ound! Can ride one and 'unt t'other; and if +that ain't as much as can be looked for in a 'usband, miss, why, I'll be +jiggered!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">A Liberal Allowance</span></h3> + +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck's coverts blank</i>.) "Rather +short of cubs, I'm afraid, sir!"</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Van Wyck</i> (<i>who has very recently acquired his country seat</i>.) "Most +extraordinary! Can't understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to +order a dozen only last week!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_120.png"> +<img src="images/i_120.png" width="100%" alt="STORIES WITHOUT WORDS"/></a> +<h3>STORIES WITHOUT WORDS</h3> +<center>How "the second horseman" went home.</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_121.png"> +<img src="images/i_121.png" width="100%" alt="go home at once"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>Scene—<i>As above.</i> Time—<i>Mid-day.</i> Sport—<i>None up to +now.</i></p> +<p><i>Stout Party</i> (<i>about to leave</i>.) "Most extr'ordinary thing. Whenever I go +home, they always have a rattling good run."</p> +<p><i>Candid Friend.</i> "Then, for goodness' sake, <i>go home at once!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_122.png"> +<img src="images/i_122.png" width="100%" alt="MOST EXTRAORDINARY"/></a> +<h3>MOST EXTRAORDINARY</h3> +<p><i>Dismounted Sportsman.</i> "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up +there?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Straight</span></h3> + +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to Boy, who is riding his second horse</i>.) "Hi, there! What +the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"</p> + +<p><i>Boy</i> (<i>Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing +Establishment</i>.) "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a +second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Forbearance</span></h3> + +<p><i>Member of Hunt</i> (<i>to Farmer</i>.) "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I +were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a +fuss about it."</p> + +<p><i>Farmer.</i> "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it +to-day."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_124.png"> +<img src="images/i_124.png" width="100%" alt="Extract from a letter"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>(<i>Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the +morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers</i>)</p> +<p><i>Leadenhall Market, Thursday.</i></p> +<p>Sir,—Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of +foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets, +we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen +to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Too Much</span></h3> + +<center>(<i>Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!</i>)</center> + +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of +the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom</i>.) "Put out? Why, o' course +I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half +a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">At the Hunt Ball</span></h3> + +<p><i>Mr. Hardhit.</i> "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much +better in pink—less like waiters?"</p> + +<p><i>Miss Highflier.</i> "Yes, but more like ringmasters—eh?"</p> + +<p> [<i>Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity.</i></p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_126.png"> +<img src="images/i_126.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a> +<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3> +<center>In mounting your horse, always stand facing his tail.</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_127.png"> +<img src="images/i_127.png" width="100%" alt="tennis-ball hunting costume"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<center>The patent pneumatic tennis-ball hunting costume. Falling +a pleasure.</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_128.png"> +<img src="images/i_128.png" width="100%" alt="Go on away"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Second Whip.</i> "G-aw-ne away!"</p> +<p><i>Middle-aged Diana.</i> "Go on away, indeed! Impertinence! I'll go just +when I'm ready!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_129.png"> +<img src="images/i_129.png" width="100%" alt="CASE OF REAL DISTRESS"/></a> +<h3>A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS</h3> +<p><i>Fox-hunter.</i> "Here's a bore, Jack! The ground is half a foot thick with +snow, and it's freezing like mad!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">The Huntsman's Point of View</span>.</h3> + +<p>One of the best runs of the season.</p> + +<p>Good scent all the way.</p> + +<p>Sir Heavistone Stogdon unfortunately fell at a stiff bank and broke his +collar-bone.</p> + +<p>At the last moment, I regret to say, the fox got away.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_130.png"> +<img src="images/i_130.png" width="100%" alt="A FOX HUNT"/></a> +<h3>A FOX HUNT</h3> +<center>(<i>After a tapestry</i>)</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_131.png"> +<img src="images/i_131.png" width="100%" alt="He encounters a coomb"/></a> +<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3> +<center>He encounters a "coomb," and wonders if it is soft at the bottom.</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_132.png"> +<img src="images/i_132.png" width="100%" alt="THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a> +<h3>WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>from the bog</i>.) "Confound you, didn't you say there was a +sound bottom here?"</p> +<p><i>Shepherd.</i> "Zo there be, maister; but thou 'aven't got down to un +yet!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_133.png"> +<img src="images/i_133.png" width="100%" alt="WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a> +<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3> +<center>How he found a "Warrantable Deer."</center> +</div> + +<hr /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_134.png"> +<img src="images/i_134.png" width="100%" alt="WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a> +<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3> +<center><i>In</i> Devonshire.</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span></p> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Fools and their Money</span>—</h3> + +<p><i>Jones</i> (<i>who has been having a fair bucketing for the last half-hour, as +he passes friend, in his mad career</i>.) "I'd give a fiver to get off this +brute!"</p> + +<p><i>Friend</i> (<i>brutally</i>.) "Don't chuck your money away, old chap! You'll be +off for less than that!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">With the Queen's</span></h3> + +<p><i>Leading Sportsman.</i> "Hold ha—rd! Here's some more of that confounded +barbed wire! Dashed if I don't think this country is mainly inhabited by +retired fishing-tackle makers!"</p> + +<blockquote><p>[<i>Makes for nearest gate, followed by sympathetic field.</i></p></blockquote> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">His Opinion</span></h3> + +<p><i>Jenkinson</i> (<i>to M.F.H., who dislikes being bothered</i>.) "What do you think +of this horse?" (<i>No answer.</i>) "Bred him myself, you know!"</p> + +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>looking at horse out of corner of his eye</i>.) "Umph! I thought +you couldn't have been such a silly idiot as to have <i>bought</i> him!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_136.png"> +<img src="images/i_136.png" width="100%" alt="it's freezing again"/></a> +<h3>THE VOICE OF SPRING</h3> +<center><i>Bibulous Binks.</i> "Gad, it's freezing again!"</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_137.png"> +<img src="images/i_137.png" width="100%" alt="A BLANK DAY"/></a> +<h3>A BLANK—BLANK—DAY</h3> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_138.png"> +<img src="images/i_138.png" width="100%" alt="WHOSE FAULT"/></a> +<h3>WHOSE FAULT?</h3> +<center>"He <i>can</i> jump, but he <i>won't!</i>"</center> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_139.png"> +<img src="images/i_139.png" width="100%" alt="A VIEW HALLOO"/></a> +<h3>A VIEW HALLOO</h3> +<center>(<i>Hounds at fault</i>)</center> +<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>bustling up to young Hodge, who has just begun to wave his cap +and sing out lustily</i>.) "Now then, where is he?"</p> +<p><i>Young H.</i> "Yonder, sir! Acomin' across yonder!"</p> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "Get out, why there ain't no fox there stoopid!"</p> +<p><i>Young H.</i> "No, sir; but there be our Billy on his jackass!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_140.png"> +<img src="images/i_140.png" width="100%" alt="I dropped my whip"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Miss Nelly</i> (<i>to her Slave, in the middle of the best +thing of the Season</i>.) "Oh, Mr. Rowel, do you mind going back? I dropped +my whip at the last fence!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Severe</span></h3> + +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to Youth from neighbouring Hunt, who has been making himself +very objectionable</i>.) "Now, look here, young man. I go cub-hunting for +the purpose of educating <i>my own</i> puppies. As you belong to another +pack, I'll thank you to take yourself home!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_141.png"> +<img src="images/i_141.png" width="100%" alt="HUNTING MEMORANDUM"/></a> +<h3>HUNTING MEMORANDUM</h3> +<p>Appearance of things in general to a gentleman who has just turned a +complete somersault!</p> +<p><i>* &c., &c., represent sparks of divers beautiful colours.</i></p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_142.png"> +<img src="images/i_142.png" width="100%" alt="LE SPORTMAN"/></a> +<h3>"LE SPORTMAN"</h3> +<p>"Hi!! Hi!! Stop ze chasse! I tomble—I faloff! <i>Stop ze fox!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_143.png"> +<img src="images/i_143.png" width="100%" alt="Too sleepy"/></a> +<h3>"CUBBING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS"</h3> +<p><i>Half-awakened un-enthusiastic Sportsman</i> (<i>who wished to go out +cub-hunting, but has entirely changed his mind, drowsily addressing +rather astonished burglar</i>.) "Awright, old boy. Can't come with you this +morning. Too sleepy."</p> +<p> [<i>Turns round and resumes deep sleep where he left off.</i>]</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_144.png"> +<img src="images/i_144.png" width="100%" alt="A BROKEN PLEDGE"/></a> +<h3>A BROKEN PLEDGE</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman on bank</i> (<i>to Friend in brook</i>.) "Hallo, Thompson, is that you? +Why, I thought you had joined the 'No Drinks in between Meals' Party!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p> + +<h3>"<span class="smcap">In the Dim and Distant Future</span>"</h3> + +<p><i>First Sportsman</i> (<i>cantering along easily</i>.) "I say, we shall see you at +dinner on the nineteenth, shan't we?"</p> + +<p><i>Second Ditto</i> (<i>whose horse is very fresh, and bolting with him</i>.) "If +the beast goes on like this—hanged if you'll ever see me again."</p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_145.png"> +<img src="images/i_145.png" width="100%" alt="LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET"/></a> +<h3>THERE'S LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET</h3> +<p><i>Ex-M.F.H.</i> (<i>eighty-nine and paralytic</i>.) "Fora-a-d! Fora-a-d! +Fora-a-a-d!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_146.png"> +<img src="images/i_146.png" width="100%" alt="Don't ride over the line"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>making a cast for the line of the fox, near a +railway</i>.) "Hold hard, please! Don't ride over the line!"</p> +<p><i>Would-be Thrusters.</i> "Oh, no, we won't. There's a bridge farther on!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_147.png"> +<img src="images/i_147.png" width="100%" alt="it's a new hare"/></a> +<h3>"RANK BLASPHEMY"</h3> +<p><i>Squire Oldboy, M.H.</i> (<i>enjoying a long and very slow hunt</i>.) "There she +goes! Afraid it's a new hare though."</p> +<p><i>Bored Sportsman.</i> "How lucky! The other must be getting doosid old."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_148.png"> +<img src="images/i_148.png" width="100%" alt="Seen the fox"/></a> +<h3>A CHECK</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Seen the fox, my boy?"</p> +<p><i>Boy.</i> "No, I ain't!"</p> +<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Then, what are you hollarin' for?"</p> +<p><i>Boy</i> (<i>who has been scaring rooks</i>.) "'Cos I'm paid for it!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_149.png"> +<img src="images/i_149.png" width="100%" alt="EASIER SAID THAN DONE"/></a> +<h3>EASIER SAID THAN DONE</h3> +<p><i>Sixteen-stone Sportsman (who has been nearly put down from a "rotten" +landing, to little Bricks, 9st. 2lb.)</i>: "Do you mind putting me back in +the saddle, sir?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_150.png"> +<img src="images/i_150.png" width="100%" alt="TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H."/></a> +<h3>THE TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H.</h3> +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to stranger, who is violently gesticulating to hounds</i>.) "When +you have done <i>feeding your chickens</i>, sir, perhaps you will allow me to +hunt my hounds!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_151.png"> +<img src="images/i_151.png" width="100%" alt="Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>Nobody was near hounds in the big wood when they pulled +down the cub except Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata. He rashly volunteers +to secure the brush for her!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_152.png"> +<img src="images/i_152.png" width="100%" alt="What a beastly day"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>"Morning, Tom. What a beastly day!"</p> +<p>"It ain't a day, sir. I call it an interval between two bloomin' +nights!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_153.png"> +<img src="images/i_153.png" width="100%" alt="A BAD LOOK-OUT"/></a> +<h3>A BAD LOOK-OUT</h3> +<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to Friend whom he has mounted</i>.) "For goodness' sake, old +chap, don't let her put you down! She's certain to savage you!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_154.png"> +<img src="images/i_154.png" width="100%" alt="ECHOES OF THE CHASE"/></a> +<h3>ECHOES OF THE CHASE</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>who has been having a very bad ride</i>.) "Either master wants +some new 'orses or a new 'untsman!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_155.png"> +<img src="images/i_155.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS ON HUNTING"/></a> +<h3>HINTS ON HUNTING</h3> +<p>Always see that your bridle reins are sound. There are times when they +have a considerable strain on 'em!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_156.png"> +<img src="images/i_156.png" width="100%" alt="Extraordinary position"/></a> +<h3>SO FAR, NO FARTHER</h3> +<p>Extraordinary position assumed by Mr. Snoodle on the sudden and +unexpected refusal of his horse.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_157.png"> +<img src="images/i_157.png" width="100%" alt="HARD LUCK"/></a> +<h3>HARD LUCK</h3> +<p><i>Small Child</i> (<i>to Mr. Sparkin, who had come out at an unusually early +hour in order to meet his inamorata at the guide-post, and pilot her out +cub-hunting</i>.) "I was to tell you she has such a bad cold she couldn't +come. But I'm going with you instead, if you promise to take care of me. +I'm her cousin, you know!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_158.png"> +<img src="images/i_158.png" width="100%" alt="A PSEUDO-THRUSTER"/></a> +<h3>A PSEUDO-THRUSTER</h3> +<p><i>Farmer</i> (<i>to Sportsman, returning from the chase</i>.) "Beg pardon, sir, but +ain't you the gent that broke down that there gate of mine this +morning?"</p> +<p><i>Mr. Noodel</i> (<i>who never by any chance jumps anything—frightfully +pleased</i>.) "Er—did I? Well, how much is the damage?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_159.png"> +<img src="images/i_159.png" width="100%" alt="THE WATER TEST"/></a> +<h3>THE WATER TEST</h3> +<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>bringing on tail hounds, in the rear of the field</i>.) "Hulloah! +Who've you got there?"</p> +<p><i>Runner</i> (<i>who has just assisted sportsman out of a muddy ditch</i>.) "Dunno. +Can't tell till we've washed 'im down a bit!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_160.png"> +<img src="images/i_160.png" width="100%" alt="MOST UNFORTUNATE"/></a> +<h3>MOST UNFORTUNATE</h3> +<p>Horrible catastrophe which happened to Captain Fussey (our ladies' man) +on his arrival at the opening meet. New coat, new boots, new horse, new +everything! Hard luck!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_161.png"> +<img src="images/i_161.png" width="100%" alt="A SEVERE TEST"/></a> +<h3>A SEVERE TEST</h3> +<p><i>Miss Sally</i> (<i>who has just taken off her mackintosh—to ardent admirer</i>.) +"Look! they're away! Do just stuff this thing into your pocket. I'm sure +I shan't want it again!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 1611]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_162.png"> +<img src="images/i_162.png" width="100%" alt="STUDY IN EXPRESSION"/></a> +<h3>A STUDY IN EXPRESSION</h3> +<p><i>Irate M.F.H.</i> (<i>who has had half an hour in the big gorse trying to get a +faint-hearted fox away, galloping to "holloa" on the far side of +covert</i>.) "Confound you and your pony, sir! Get out of my way!"</p> +<blockquote><p><i>Little Binks, who has been trying to keep out of people's way all day, +thinks he can quite understand the feelings of the hunted fox.</i></p></blockquote> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p> + +<h2>OUR HUNT "POINT TO POINT"</h2> + +<p>Last week our Point to Point steeplechase came off. So did several of +the riders: this merely <i>par parenthèse</i>. I offered to mark out the +course, and, as I intended to escape the dread ordeal of riding by +scratching my horse at the last moment, I thought it would be great fun +to choose a very stiff, not to say bloodthirsty, line. Awful grumbling +on the part of those unhappy ones who were to ride. Just as the bell +rang for saddling, Captain Sproozer, ready dressed for the fray, came up +to me with very long face, and said, "Beastly line this, you know, +Phunker. I call it much too stiff."</p> + +<p>I smiled in pitying and superior manner. "Think so, my dear Sproozer? My +horse can't run, worse luck, but I only wish <i>I</i> were going to have the +gallop over it."</p> + +<p>"So you shall, then!" cried a rasping voice, suddenly, from behind me. +Sir Hercules<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span> Blizzard was the speaker, an awful man with an awful +temper. "So you shall. My idiot of a jockey broke his collar-bone trying +to jump one of the fences on this confounded course of yours to-day, so, +as I am without a rider, you shall ride my mare Dinah."</p> + +<p>Swallowed lump in my throat as I thanked him for his offer, but thought +I had better decline, as I didn't know the mare, and besides that, I——</p> + +<p>"Oh! all right, I know what you are going to say: that you're not much +good on a horse"—(nothing of the sort! I was not going to say any such +thing, confound the man!) "Of course, I know all that, and that you're +not much of a rider; but I can't help myself now. It's too late to get a +decent horseman, so I shall have to make shift with you."</p> + +<p>Deuced condescending of him. I made a feeble effort to escape, and would +cheerfully have paid a hundred pounds for the chance of doing so. Phil +Poundaway, great friend of mine, came up and said (sympathetically, as I +thought at first), "I should think you'd prefer to get off it, wouldn't +you, Phunker?"</p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></p> + +<p>Thought he would volunteer in my place, so was perfectly frank with him. +"My dear Phil, I'd give a hundred to get off——"</p> + +<p>"Ah! you will, I expect, at the first fence, without paying the money!" +he grinned, as he turned away.</p> + +<p>Murder was in my heart at that moment. I got on Dinah, and, feeling +like death, rode down to the starting-post. Thoughts of a misspent youth, of +home and friends and things, came o'er me. I seemed once more to see +the little rose-covered porch, the——</p> + +<p>"What on earth are you mooning about?" thundered the Blizzardian voice +in my ear. "Take hold of her head tighter than that, or you'll be off!"</p> + +<p>The next moment the starter yelled "Go!" and away, like a whirlwind, we +sped across the first field, towards a huge, thick blackthorn fence, the +one I had thought to see such fun with. Fun! I never felt less funny in +my life, as we approached it at the rate of two thousand miles an hour! +The mare jumped high, but I jumped much higher, and seemed for a brief +moment to be soaring through the blue empyrean. Somehow, the mare +managed to evade me on the return journey earthwards, and, instead of +alighting on the saddle, I found myself "sitting on the floor." A +howl—it might have been of sympathy, but it didn't sound quite like +that—arose from the crowd, and then I thought that I would go home on +foot, instead of returning to explain matters to Sir Hercules. As a +matter of fact, I don't much care for associating with old Blizzard, at +all events, not just now.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_164.png"> +<img src="images/i_164.png" width="100%" alt="AMENITIES OF SPORT"/></a> +<h3>AMENITIES OF SPORT</h3> +<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to Whip, sent forward for a view</i>.) "Haven't ye seen him, +Tom?"</p> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "No, sir."</p> +<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "If he'd been in a pint pot, ye jolly soon would!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_165.png"> +<img src="images/i_165.png" width="100%" alt="HIS LITTLE DODGE"/></a> +<h3>HIS LITTLE DODGE</h3> +<p><i>First Hunting Man</i> (<i>having observed the ticket with "K" on it in his +friend's hat</i>.) "I didn't know that old gee of yours was a kicker. He +looks quiet enough."</p> +<p><i>Second Hunting Man.</i> "Well, he isn't really. I only wear the "K" to +make people give me more room!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_167.png"> +<img src="images/i_167.png" width="100%" alt="TRUE COURAGE"/></a> +<h3>TRUE COURAGE</h3> +<p><i>Whip.</i> "Hi, sir! Keep back! The fox may break covert there!"</p> +<p><i>Foreigner.</i> "Bah! I fear him not—your fox."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_168.png"> +<img src="images/i_168.png" width="100%" alt="FORCE OF HABIT"/></a> +<h3>THE FORCE OF HABIT</h3> +<p><i>Spanner</i> (<i>a great cyclist, whose horse has been startled by man on +covert hack</i>.) "Hi! confound you! Why the deuce don't you sound your +bell!!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_170.png"> +<img src="images/i_170.png" width="100%" alt="CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"/></a> +<h3>"THE CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"</h3> +<p>Scene—<i>Cub-hunting.</i> Time—<i>About one o'clock.</i></p> +<p><i>Lady.</i> "Well, Count, what have you lost? Your lunch?"</p> +<p><i>The Count</i> (<i>who breakfasted some time before six o'clock, a.m.</i>.) "No, +no! Donner und wetter! I have him, but I have lost my teeth!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_171.png"> +<img src="images/i_171.png" width="100%" alt="HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT"/></a> +<h3>HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT</h3> +<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>on mettlesome hireling</i>.) "'Elp! 'Elp! Somebody stop 'im! 'E's +going to jump, and I can't!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_172.png"> +<img src="images/i_172.png" width="100%" alt="MOST EMBARRASSING"/></a> +<h3>MOST EMBARRASSING</h3> +<p><i>Lady (hiding behind bush, to Mr. Spoodle, who has captured her horse)</i>. +"Oh, thank you so much! But I hope to goodness you have found my skirt +as well!"</p> +<p> [<i>Nice position for Mr. Spoodle, who is very bashful, and has seen +nothing of the garment</i>.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_173.png"> +<img src="images/i_173.png" width="100%" alt="Very bad scent"/></a> +<h3>"DO NOT SPEAK TO THE MAN AT THE WHEEL"</h3> +<p><i>'Arry</i> (<i>puffing a "twopenny smoke," to huntsman, making unsuccessful +cast</i>.) "Very bad scent."</p> +<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Shockin'! Smells like burnin' seaweed!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_174.png"> +<img src="images/i_174.png" width="100%" alt="OBEYING ORDERS"/></a> +<h3>OBEYING ORDERS</h3> +<p>"It's all very well for master to say 'Keep close to Miss Vera, +Miles'—but I want to know 'oo's going to take Miles to the +'orsepital?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_175.png"> +<img src="images/i_175.png" width="100%" alt="GALLANTRY REWARDED"/></a> +<h3>GALLANTRY REWARDED</h3> +<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,—to +stranger who has caught her horse</i>.) "Oh, I'm <i>so</i> much obliged to you! +Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_176.png"> +<img src="images/i_176.png" width="100%" alt="JUST OFF"/></a> +<h3>JUST OFF</h3> +<p>"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"</p> +<p>"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to <i>ride her on the +saddle!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%"> +<a href="images/i_177.png"> +<img src="images/i_177.png" width="100%" alt="No more trouble from wire"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p>A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to +fences, etc.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_178.png"> +<img src="images/i_178.png" width="100%" alt="TRIALS OF AN M.F.H."/></a> +<h3>THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.</h3> +<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad +scent</i>.) "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"</p> +<p><i>Enthusiast</i> (<i>sweetly</i>.) "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you +please."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_179.png"> +<img src="images/i_179.png" width="100%" alt="OFF HIS GUARD"/></a> +<h3>OFF HIS GUARD</h3> +<p><i>Farmer</i> (<i>just coming up</i>.) "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my +lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire—very ugly +cuts!"</p> +<p><i>My Lord.</i> "Tut—tut—tut! Dear—dear—dear! Not the horse, I hope?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_180.png"> +<img src="images/i_180.png" width="100%" alt="BON VOYAGE"/></a> +<h3>"BON VOYAGE!"</h3> +<p><i>Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly.</i> "A—ha—a! I am safe +o-vère! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_181.png"> +<img src="images/i_181.png" width="100%" alt="ON THE WAY HOME"/></a> +<h3>ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT—NO KILL</h3> +<p><i>Fair Huntress.</i> "What a pity the hounds let that splendid stag get +away, Colonel, wasn't it?"</p> +<p><i>Colonel.</i> "Pity! Ha, if they'd only taken my advice we should have been +up with him now, instead of being miles away on the wrong track!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_182.png"> +<img src="images/i_182.png" width="100%" alt="I lose my horse"/></a> +<br /><br /> +<p><i>Distinguished Foreigner</i> (<i>to good Samaritan who has +caught his horse</i>.) "Merci bien, monsieur! You save me much trouble. +Before, I lose my horse—I lose him altogether, and I must put him in +the newspaper!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_183.png"> +<img src="images/i_183.png" width="100%" alt="You shall not escape"/></a> +<h3>VIVE LA CHASSE!</h3> +<p><i>Foreign Visitor</i> (<i>an enthusiastic "sportsman," viewing fox attempting to +break</i>.) "A-h-h-h! Halte-la! Halte! <i>You shall not escape!</i>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_184.png"> +<img src="images/i_184.png" width="100%" alt="RATHER TOO MUCH"/></a> +<h3>RATHER TOO MUCH</h3> +<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>having just cannoned Stranger into brook</i>.) "Oh, I'm <i>so</i> sorry I +bumped you! Would you mind going in again for my hat?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span></p> + +<h2>THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON</h2> + +<center>(<i>By Our Own Novice</i>)</center> +<br /><br /> +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons</p> +<p class="i2">Have had quite enough of the game,</p> +<p class="i0">And if we returned to our muttons,</p> +<p class="i2">Our horses are laid up and lame.</p> +<p class="i0">We hunted straight on through the winter,</p> +<p class="i2">And never were stopped by the frost,</p> +<p class="i0">As I know right well from each splinter</p> +<p class="i2">Of bone that my poor limbs have lost.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! The "croppers"</p> +<p class="i2">I got where the fences were tall,</p> +<p class="i0">And Oh the immaculate "toppers"</p> +<p class="i2">That always were crushed by my fall.</p> +<p class="i0">Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted</p> +<p class="i2">As e'er to jump hedges or dikes,</p> +<p class="i0">It's simply that after we've started,</p> +<p class="i2">My "gee" gallivants as it likes.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">In vain I put on natty breeches,</p> +<p class="i2">And tops like Meltonian swell,</p> +<p class="i0">It ends in the blessed old ditches,</p> +<p class="i2">I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span></p> +<p class="i0">And when from a "gee" that's unruly</p> +<p class="i2">I fall with a terrible jar,</p> +<p class="i0">I know that old <i>Jorrocks</i> spoke truly,</p> +<p class="i2">And hunting's "the image of war."</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">And never for me "<i>Fair Diana</i>"</p> +<p class="i2">Shall smile as we know that she can,</p> +<p class="i0">With looks that are sweeter than manna,</p> +<p class="i2">On many a fortunate man.</p> +<p class="i0">It adds to the pangs that I suffer,</p> +<p class="i2">When thrown at a fence in her track,</p> +<p class="i0">To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!"</p> +<p class="i2">When jumping slap over my back.</p> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i0">I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching</p> +<p class="i2">Where over my ribs my horse rolled;</p> +<p class="i0">Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making</p> +<p class="i2">One man feel uncommonly old.</p> +<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered</p> +<p class="i2">And damaged in figure and face;</p> +<p class="i0">But thankful to find I'm not scattered</p> +<p class="i2">In pieces all over the place!</p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_186.png"> +<img src="images/i_186.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a> +<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3> +<p>Good hands will often make the most confirmed refuser jump.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_187.png"> +<img src="images/i_187.png" width="100%" alt="TRULY DELIGHTFUL"/></a> +<h3>TRULY DELIGHTFUL!</h3> +<p>Galloping down the side of a field covered with mole-hills, on a +weak-necked horse, with a snaffle bridle, one foot out of your stirrup, +and a bit of mud in your eye!</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_188.png"> +<img src="images/i_188.png" width="100%" alt="SELF-PRESERVATION"/></a> +<h3>SELF-PRESERVATION</h3> +<p><i>Tomlin</i> (<i>who has been mounted by friend</i>.) "It's all very well to shout +'Loose your reins', but what the deuce <i>am</i> I to hang on to?"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> +<br /> +<center><span class="smcap">Seasonable Dish for a Sportsman.</span>—A plate o' <i>f</i>ox-tail soup.</center> +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> +<center><span class="smcap">The Rule of the Hunting-Field.</span>—Lex Tally-ho-nis.</center> +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> +<center><span class="smcap">Fashionable Food for Horses.</span>—Hay <i>à la</i> mowed.</center> +<br /> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 25%"> +<a href="images/i_190.png"> +<img src="images/i_190.png" width="100%" alt="QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG"/></a> +</div> +<h3>QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG</h3> +<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza"> +<p class="i10">"Life has passed</p> +<p class="i0">With me but roughly since I heard thee last."</p><br /> +<p class="i14"><i>Cowper.</i></p> +</div></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_191.png"> +<img src="images/i_191.png" width="100%" alt="ALL HER PLAY"/></a> +<h3>ALL HER PLAY</h3> +<p><i>Country Gentleman</i> (<i>to nervous man, whom he has mounted</i>). "By Jove, +old chap, never saw the mare so fresh! Take care you ain't off!"</p> +<p><i>Nervous Man</i> (<i>heartily</i>). "W—w—wish to goodness I were!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%"> +<a href="images/i_192.png"> +<img src="images/i_192.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a> +<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3> +<p>Always let your horse see that you are his master.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%"> +<a href="images/i_193.png"> +<img src="images/i_193.png" width="100%" alt="Mr Punch on horse"/></a> +</div> + +<h3>THE END<br /> + +<br />BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.</h3> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. 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