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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion + or, Familiar Letters to his Nephews + +Author: Henry Lunettes + +Release Date: February 28, 2012 [EBook #39005] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE *** + + + + +Produced by Julia Miller, Linda Hamilton, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<a name="Page_i" id="Page_i"></a> + +<h1 style="padding-top:1em;padding-bottom:1em;"> +<span style="font-size:.5em;line-height:2em;">THE</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.75em;line-height:2em;">AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S</span><br> +<span style="font-size:1em;line-height:2em;">GUIDE TO POLITENESS</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.3em;line-height:2em;">AND</span><br> +<span style="font-size:1em;line-height:2em;">FASHION.</span> + +</h1> + + +<a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii"></a> + + +<div class="linearound newpg"><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii"></a> + +<h1 style="padding-top:1.5em;padding-bottom:.5em;"> +<span style="font-size:.5em;line-height:2em;">THE</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.75em;line-height:2em;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">AMERICAN</span> GENTLEMAN'S</span><br> +<span style="font-size:1em;line-height:2em;">GUIDE TO POLITENESS</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.3em;line-height:2em;">AND</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.9em;line-height:2em;">FASHION;</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.3em;line-height:2em;">OR,</span><br> +<span style="font-size:.7em;line-height:2em;">FAMILIAR LETTERS TO HIS NEPHEWS.</span><br> + +</h1> + + +<p class="center" style="padding-top:.2em;padding-bottom:1em;font-weight: bold;font-size: 1.5em;">BY HENRY LUNETTES.</p> + +<p class="center" style="padding-top:.2em;padding-bottom:.5em;font-size:.75em;"> +The good old name of <span class="smcap">Gentleman</span>.<br> +<span class="smcap" style="padding-left:11em;">Tennyson.</span></p> + +<p style="font-size:.75em;margin-right:10%;margin-left:10%;padding-top:.5em;">People sometimes complain of writers who +talk of "I, I." * * * * When I speak to you of myself, I am speaking to you +of yourself, also. Is it possible that you do not feel that it is so? <span class="keepright smcap">Victor Hugo.</span></p> +<p> </p> +<p class="center" style="padding-top:1.5em;padding-bottom:.1em;font-size:1em;">NEW EDITION, CAREFULLY REVISED BY THE AUTHOR.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="padding-bottom:1em;padding-top:1.75em;"> +<img src="images/line1.png" alt="" title="" width="200" height="11"></div> + +<p class="center" style="padding-top:1.5em;padding-bottom:.1em;font-size:1em;"> +PHILADELPHIA:</p> + +<p class="center" style="padding-bottom:.1em;font-size:1.25em;letter-spacing:.3em;"> +J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.</p> +<p class="center" style="padding-bottom:1.5em;font-size:1.25em;letter-spacing:.3em;"> +1864.</p> + +</div> + +<div style="margin-left:10%;margin-right:10%;"> +<hr style="width: 100%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv"></a> +<p class="center" style="font-size:.9em;">Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:1em;letter-spacing:.3em;">J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.,</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:.9em;">in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Eastern District +of Pennsylvania.</p> +<hr style="width:100%;"> +</div> + +<a name="Page_v" id="Page_v"></a> +<p class="center newpg" style="font-size:1em;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:1em;">TO</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:1.5em;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:2.5em;">HIS YOUNG COUNTRYMEN,</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:.9em;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:2.5em;">THIS UNPRETENDING VOLUME, IS, WITH AFFECTIONATE PRIDE,</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:.9em;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:1em;">INSCRIBED BY</p> +<p class="center" style="font-size:1.5em;font-weight:bold;">THE AUTHOR.</p> + +<a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi"></a> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii"></a> +<h2 style="letter-spacing:.3em;margin-bottom:1.25em;">INTRODUCTION.</h2> +<div class="figcenter" style="padding-bottom:2em;padding-top:1em;"> +<img src="images/line5.png" alt="" title="" width="118" height="13"></div> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="iaa"><span class="firstwords">"I lang</span> ha'e thought, my youthful friends,<br></span> +<span class="i2">A something to have sent you,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Tho' it may serve no other end<br></span> +<span class="i2">Than just a kind memento:<br></span> +<span class="i0">But how the subject-theme may gang<br></span> +<span class="i2">Let time and chance determine;<br></span> +<span class="i0">Perhaps it may turn out a sang,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Perhaps turn out a <a name="tn_png_007"></a><!--TN: Period added after "sermon"-->sermon."</span> +</div> +<a name="Page_viii" id="Page_viii"></a> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_ix" id="Page_ix"></a> +<h2 style="margin-bottom:1em;">TABLE OF CONTENTS</h2> +<div class="figcenter" style="padding-bottom:2em;padding-top:1em;"> +<img src="images/line3.png" alt="" title="" width="200" height="13"></div> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER I.</p> +<p class="tochead">DRESS.</p> + +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter I Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Propriety</span> of conforming to Fashion, with a due Regard for individual Peculiarities +of Appearance—Eccentricity of Taste in Dress—Obedience to the Laws +of Convention—The vagaries of Genius, in this respect—Absurdity and +Affectation originated by the Example of Byron—All indifference and neglect +to be avoided, with regard to Dress—Anecdote of Dr. Johnson and the Siddons—Porson, +the Greek Scholar—Horace Greeley—Aphorism—Habits of a +distinguished Parisian <i>savant</i>—Example and opinion of Washington with +reference to Dress—Partiality of Americans for Black, as the color of dress-clothes—Practice +of Men in other Countries, in the selection of Colors—Morning +Costume of an English Gentleman—Every English Gentleman usefully +employed during a Portion of each Day—Dr. Johnson's Test of good +Taste in Dress—The golden mean in Matters of Dress—Ceremonious Costume +of a Gentleman—Mode of wearing the Hair and Beard—Necessity for artistic +Taste in one's Barber—All extremes of Fashion in bad Taste—Various Absurdities +in this respect, inconsistent with the "keeping" of modern Costume—Collars, +their size, shape, &c.—Sleeve-buttons—Bad taste of wearing flash +Stones—Use of Diamonds In Dress—Simplicity in the Appendages of Dress, +the characteristic of true refinement—Signet-rings—Distinctive Points of +difference between the exterior of a Gentleman and of a Loafer—All staring +patterns in Gentlemen's clothes exceptionable—A white suit throughout, for +warm Weather—Thin Cravats—Body Linen—Kotzebue's test of high-breeding—Strength +and Comfort the essential Characteristics of working Garments—Fitness +and propriety even in matters of Dress, indicative of a well-regulated +Mind—Every American should aim to be a true Gentleman—Importance +of Trifles, when viewed in the aggregate—Influence of Dress, etc., upon +Character and Manner—Wearing Gloves in Dancing—White Gloves alone +unexceptionable for ceremonious Evening Occasions—Gloves suitable for the +Street and Morning Visits—Bright-colored Gloves in bad <i>ton</i>—Illustrative +Anecdote—Over-Garments—Variety sanctioned by Fashion—Becomingness +of different Styles—Inconvenience and ill-appearance of Shawls—When +Suitable—South American Poncho—Anecdote—New reading of Lord <a name="Page_x" id="Page_x"></a>Nelson's +celebrated Naval Orders—Difference between Talking and Writing, +the Author's Apology for numerous Defects—The Mill-boy of the Slashes—The +Author unacquainted with the Elegancies of modern Fashionable +Nomenclature—Terms of agreement between the Author and his Correspondents, +</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_25">25</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER II.</p> +<p class="tochead">DRESS—(<i>Continued.</i>)</p> +<p class="tocsubhead">STORIES AND ANECDOTES ILLUSTRATIVE OF DRESS.</p> + +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter II Contents" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Hero of the Ball-Room.</span>—The Author's Liking for Mass Meetings—A +Fête—Louis Philippe and the Militia Officer—A real Soldier conquered by +the Fair!—The "Observed of all Observers"—A Morning Visit—Dissection> +of the "Observed of all Observers"—The Hero of the Ball-Room is consigned +to the "Tomb of the Capulets" in a bright, pea-green, thin Muslin +Shooting-Jacket!</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_43">43</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Anecdote of Bulwer, the Novelist,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_48">48</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Green Mountain Boy and his New Cloak,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_49">49</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Count Orloff at the "Peace Convention,"</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Fashionable Hat.</span>—A Young Clergyman resolves to Visit "the City"—His +Plans for Economy—A new Black Coat—A Secret Design—Fashionable +Ridicule—The Young Clergyman makes the mortifying Discovery that he is +wearing a "Shocking Bad Hat"—Reluctantly determines to buy a New One—A +Traveller in an Old "Kossuth"—Test of what is Admissible in the Dress +of the Clergy—Reflections of a "Sadder and a Wiser" Man—The Uncle and +his Little Nephew—"Bradbrook's" and the "Pretty Coat"—Another Secret +"Design—The Tyrant of Social Life,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Chief Justice—and the Travelling Gloves of an Exquisite,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_54">54</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Gov. Marcy and the Parisians.</span>—The American Secretary of Legation at St. +Cloud, at a Court Dinner—Address of the Turkish Ambassador—The Distinctive +Mark of a Gentleman,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_56">56</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Red Cornelian <a name="tn_png_010"></a><!--TN: "Paté" changed to "Pâté"-->Pâté</span>—Sketch of an Elegant leaning upon a Bass-viol—Poetry +of the Female Voice—An Alpine Party—A Lady's Avowal—Coxcombs—A +Mysterious Stranger—My Lundy-Lane Sword—A Figure of +Speech appropriate to a Sportsman's Daughter—The "Weed" and the Shawl—An +Apple—The "Tug of War"—The Pitiable Finger! and the Cranberry +Pâté—Design of the "Mysterious Stranger"—Jack the Giant-Killer and his +Victim—A Revelation—The Dove and the Vulture,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_58">58</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Postscript to Letter II.—Letter to the Author from a Distinguished Man of +Fashion—Directions for the Details of Gentlemen's Dress, on various Occasions—Wedding +Costume—Morning and Evening—Evening Dress—Dress +for Morning Visits—Costume for Bachelors' Dinner-Parties—General Remarks +upon Colors, etc.—Effect of Black Dress—Blue—Brown—Anecdote of +Beau Brummel—Opinion of a French Critic—Importance of the "Cut" of +Garments—Ease the First Essential—An Artistic Air—Wadding, or Stuffing, +to be used in moderation—Sensible Observations of a Man of Discriminating +Taste,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<a name="Page_xi" id="Page_xi"></a> +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER III</p> +<p class="tochead">MANNER.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter III Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Aphorism</span> of a Celebrated Observer of Human Nature—Manner indicative of +Character—Benefits of Care and Attention in Youth—The Fashionable Manner +of the Day—Danger of Affectation in Manner—Americans too often +Caricature their European Models—Good Sense and Manly Independence +the best Guides in the Formation of Manner—True Politeness—Elegant +definition of Politeness by a celebrated Author—Good Breeding inseparable +from the Character of a Gentleman—Sir Philip Sidney, a Christian Gentleman—Manner +the proper expression of Mental Qualities—The Laws of +Convention—Their proper Use and Applicability—Conduct towards Superiors +in Age and Station one Test of Good Breeding—Example of Washington +in this respect—Polished Manners of the Men of Revolutionary Days—Bad +Taste of Slang Language and Disrespectful Familiarity in speaking of +Superiors or Parents—Reverence rendered to Age by the Ancients—Rudeness +of "Young America" in this respect—The Law of Kindness a sure +Correction—Possibility of Benefit to be derived from the consideration of +those who have seen the World—Disadvantages of early Neglect of Manner—Improvement +always possible, at any age—Benefit of the early Acquisition +of Habits of Self-Control and Self-Possession—Advantage of proper +Examples in this respect,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_72">72</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Handsome Engineer.</span>—A Railroad Dépót and a Dilemma—The Field-Book +and Soiled Boots—The Blessings of Civilization—An Honest Saxon +Word—The Charge—The Arrival—A Recognition—A Metamorphosis—The +Economy of driving in Dress-Boots—A Whisper—The Secret of the Charm +of Manner,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">An After-Dinner Coterie.</span>—The St. Nicholas Hotel and Santa Claus—A Pleasant +Meeting—A Social Re-Union—The <i>Dramatis Personæ</i> of the Occasion—A +Sketch—"Willard's," at Washington—The weary Child—The Courteous +Strangers—A Grateful Tribute—Charge against American Ladies—Southern +Manner—The Stupid Porter and the <i>contre-temps</i>—An Inference—A +Scene in a Country Tavern—A French-Woman and a Yankee-Woman—Jonathan +and the Snuff-box—A Tooth-ache and a Rocking-chair—Sympathy +and Vivacity—The Climax of Impatience!</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_82">82</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Polite Young Irelander</span>,—A Fight—An Exclamation—A Fair Vision,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_91">91</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER IV.</p> + +<p class="tochead">MANNER—(<i>Continued.</i>)</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter IV Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Practical Directions.</span>—Senator Sumner's appropriate Sentence—Primary +importance of Manner at Home—A reiterated Charge—Manner to Parents—Unvarying +confidence and reverence due to a Father—Tenderness of Manner +to a Mother—Example of Washington—A Revolutionary Ball—Nature +the best Teacher of Duty—Too great familiarity, even with Relations, <a name="Page_xii" id="Page_xii"></a>objectionable—Manner +to Brothers and Sisters—No assumption of superiority +justified by Birthright, or Circumstances—Every Man the Guardian of his +Sisters—A Sister's Love—Manner to a Wife—The preservation of her Affection—The +"Spectator," and a Sketch of an Old-School Husband—Impressive +Teaching—A Plea for Old-Fashioned Authors—Reverence for the <i>Lares</i> +should be inviolate—The Graces of Manner always discerned by the Gentler +Sex—The Sensibility of Woman—Domestic Politeness—Cheerful Manner in +conferring Favors—Importance of Trifles, in this respect—The true nobleness +of Manhood—Aphorism of the Latinists—Manner to Children—Their Innocence +and Susceptibility—The Influence of Example in this regard—Children +judges of Character—Power of the Law of Love over the Young—Supremacy +of Moral Obligation—Manner not to be regarded as insignificant by the +Christian Gentleman—Manner to the Unfortunate—Towards Servants and +Inferiors—Arrogance to be avoided—Mode of addressing Domestics—Queen +Elizabeth and her Courtiers—Effect of a pleasant Word and a pleasant Tone—Peculiar +sensitiveness of the Uneducated In this respect—The professional +figure of an old Soldier!—Manifestations of Sympathy for Inferiors in Station—Readily +instructed by a kind Manner,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_98">98</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocsubhead">ANECDOTES AND TALES, ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNER.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter IV Anecdotes and Tales Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Emperors not always well-bred.</span>—Manner of Napoleon le Grand to Women—A +Family Levee—Reply of the Mother of Bonaparte to her Son—Napoleon's +stringent enforcement of Court Rules—The First Consul and the Lady's +Train—Josephine's timidity and her Husband's brutality—Maria Louise's +Bridal-Scene—An almost sacrilegious Misnomer,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_104">104</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Father's Rebuke.</span>—A Steamer on the Ohio—The two Friends—Cabin-Chit-chat—Youthful +mirth reproved—The effect of a Scene—The fortunate Guest—A +Family Mansion and Family Group—A "Study,"</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_105">105</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Moral Sublime: An Anecdote,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_110">110</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Sailor and his Mother,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_111">111</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Brothers.</span>—Early Separation—Home Meetings—The pomposity of the +Alderman—A Family Quarrel—The respectful Son—The Recording Angel—Charley +visits the City—A Morning Call—Its Result,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_111">111</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Washington Irving's Sketch of an old English Gentleman,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_113">113</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Poet Rogers and his Man Friday,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_114">114</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Family Green-Room, or Life Behind the Scenes.</span>—An old Soldier +Weather-bound—A Morning Sortie—An Invitation—Youthful Hospitality—A +Nursery Fixture—The "Eldest Son and Hope of the House"—A playful +Salutation—The "Land of Promise"—An Armful—Lunch—An unexpected +Interposition—An Overland Journey—A Catastrophe—Rubicon Crossing—The +Dolphin—The baked Apple—A "Poor Man"—The "Cup of Cold Water"—A +Stick for each—Spectacled Reconnoitering—Cheerful Words—Devotional +Scene—Scientific Inquiry—A Capture—Escape by Stratagem—Almost a +Martyr—The old Soldier re-visits the "Mess" of his Camp-ground—A dangerous +Invader—Green-room Asides—A Rehearsal—College Comforts—A +Sketch by one of 'em—A Stage-Trick—Anecdote of John Kemble, the Actor—A +Disclaimer and a Commentary—Exit of a "Star"—Table-Talk,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<a name="Page_xiii" id="Page_xiii"></a><p class="tocchapter">LETTER V.</p> + +<p class="tochead">MANNER IN DETAIL.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter V Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Manner in the Street</span>—Upon Meeting a Friend or Acquaintance—Proper Mode +of Salutation—"Drawing" Gloves—Stopping to Talk—Tact and Ease—Leaving +a Companion in the Street—Manner to Inferiors in the Street—Rule, +when meeting a Gentleman-Acquaintance walking with Ladies whom you do +not know—When you are acquainted with both Ladies and Gentlemen +whom you may meet—Shaking Hands with Ladies in the Street at Meeting +or at Parting—Courteous Phrases—Parting Ceremonies—Precedence in the +Street—Taking the Arm of another Man—Walking with Ladies—Proper +relative Position—Opening Doors, etc.—When meeting Ladies—Upon being +stopped by a Lady—Manner to a Stranger Lady—When you wish to Speak +with a Lady in the Street—When wishing to join a Lady in her Promenade—Proper +Caution in this respect—Rule respecting the Recognition of a Lady—An +Awkward Third—Considerations due to Ladies in case of Street-Accidents—Courtesy +to Ladies who are alighting from a Carriage—Custom of +offering the Arm to Ladies in the Street, when ascending Steps, etc.—On +entering Church, etc., with Ladies—As one of a Travelling-Party, etc.—Gait +in walking with elderly Persons or Ladies generally—Staring at Ladies in +Public Places—Manner to Ladies entering an Opera House, at a Pump-Room, +etc.—Audible Comments upon Strangers,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_128">128</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<p class="tocsubhead">SKETCHES ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNERS.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter V Sketches Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The "Cut" Portuguese.</span>—Newspapers and Coffee—West Point and a Discussion—A +Foreigner's Revenge,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_135">135</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Broken Fan: a Lady's Lament,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_136">136</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The "Iron Duke," and Youthful Reminiscences,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_137">137</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Unexpected Rencontre—A Stroll and a Compliment—A Gentleman of the Old +School in the Street—A Tribute—A Daughter's Boast—A Wedding—The +Bridal Tour—The Rail-Car—An Intruder—True Politeness—The Glass of +Medical-water—The Denouement,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_137">137</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Letter-Box.</span>—An Exciting Exclamation—A Group for a Painter—A +Query—Entreaties—An Explanatory Prelude—The Fruitless Search—The +Appeal—A Dialogue—An Admission—Musical Sounds—A Prosy Inquiry—The +Summing up—The Damper—The Wish of a True Woman—An Insinuation—A +Description drawn from Life—A Valuable Portrait—A Tribute to +American Gentlemen—An Illustration—Stage Politeness to a Lady—Acted +Poetry: the Poetry of Real Life!</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_141">141</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Prisoner of the Colliseum.</span>—A Moonlight Walk—A Secret Appeal—The +Fair Epicurean—The Recitation—An Apparition—The Lasso—A Witty +Reply—The Guerdon—The Clarion-note—A Brilliant—Horseback on the +Campagnia of Rome—The Pope's Cortège—A Recognition—A Denouement—A +Confession and the Retort Courteous—A Sudden Transformation—The +Beautiful Arm—Powers' Studio—The Artist's Discovery—An Intimation,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_149">149</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<a name="Page_xiv" id="Page_xiv"></a><p class="tocchapter">LETTER VI.</p> +<p class="tochead">MANNER—(<i>Continued.</i>)</p> +<p class="tocsubhead">RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN MAKING MORNING VISITS, AND IN SOCIETY GENERALLY.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VI Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Aversion to Ceremonious Morning Visits—Proper Hours—Suitable Brevity—Character +of Conversation—Card of Announcement—Visits made at Hotels—Precautionary +Rules—Mode of entering a Drawing-Room—Drawing-Room +Rules—When Meeting other Visitors—When interrupted—When wishing +to leave a Message or make an Appointment, etc.—Proper Courtesy +when Visitors are taking Leave—Short Visits of mere Ceremony—Attendance +upon Ladies making Morning Visits—Attentions Suitable—Introducing—Ladies +to take precedence in rising to go away—Gentlemen calling together—Dress, +etc.,—When awaiting Ladies in a Public Parlor—Standing when +Ladies are Standing—Offering the Arm—Suitable Gait—Minutia of Politeness—Morning +Wedding-Receptions—Whom you should Congratulate—General +Directions—Tact and Good Taste—Leaving Cards—Visits on New-Year's Day—Ceremonious +Intercourse with Superiors—Manner at Church—Mrs. Chapone's +Rule—Self-possession one of the Distinctive Characteristics of Good-Breeding—Whispering, +Laughing, Staring, etc., to be avoided—Retaining +the Hat not admissible—Salutations at Church—Attending Ladies at Concerts, +Lectures, Opera, etc. etc.—Propriety of Retaining the Seat you take on +Entering—Incommoding Others—Courtesy due to Those near you—Manner +of well-bred Persons in a Picture Gallery, etc.,—Reverence due to the +Beautiful and the Good—Partaking of Refreshments in Public Places—Discourtesy +of any Semblance of Intrusiveness—Etiquette in Joining a Party—Politeness +not to be laid aside in Business-intercourse—Elaborate ceremony +unsuitable, at times—The Secret of Popularity—Manner at a Public +Table—Courtesy to Others—Self-importance a Proof of Vulgarity—"Fast" +Feeding—Pardonable Luxuriousness—Staring—Listening to Private Conversations—Rudeness +of Loud Talking and Laughing, Shrugs, Glances, or +Whispers—Courtesy due to a Lady entering a Dining-Room—To Older Persons—Meeting +or passing Ladies in Public Houses—Influence of Trifles in +the Formation of Character—Frequent Discourtesy in ignoring the Presence +of Ladies in Public Parlors, etc. etc.—Politeness due to Women, in Practical +Emergencies—Nocturnal Peccadilloes—Travelling—True Rules—Courtesy +to Ladies, to Age, to the Suffering—Indecorum of using Tobacco, etc. etc., +in Public Conveyances—Ceremony a Shield, but not an Excuse—A Challenge +Extraordinary—Anecdote of P——, the Poet—Practice and Tact essential +to secure Polish of Manner—Life-long Stumbling—Practical Rules, the +result of Annoying Experience—Carriage Hire—Driving with Ladies, etc.,—Manner +in Social Intercourse—As Host—Etiquette of Dinners at Home—Precedence—Distinguished +Guests—A Lady—A Gentleman—Reception and +Introduction of Guests—True Hospitality as Host, better than mere Ceremony—Manner +towards those unacquainted with Conventional Rules—Manner +at Routs, at Home—Attention to Guests compatible with good <i>ton</i>—Anecdote—Respect +to be rendered to all one's <a name="tn_png_014"></a><!--TN: "Aquaintances" changed to "Acquaintances"-->Acquaintances in General +Society—To Married Ladies—To Strangers—The Distinction thus Exhibited +between the Under-bred and the genuine Man of the World—No one entitled +to Self-Excuses in this <a name="tn_png_15"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Regard"-->Regard,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_157">157</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<a name="Page_xv" id="Page_xv"></a><p class="tocsubhead">ANECDOTES, SKETCHES, ETC.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VI Acecdotes and Sketches Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Prophesy.</span>—Table-Talk—A Rescue and a Lady's Gratitude—Jealousy Disarmed—Backwoodsmen—Cordiality—Costume +and Courtesy—Retort Courteous—An +Interpolation and a Protest—Mr. Clay's Popularity with the Fair—Secret +of his Success in Society—Mr. Clay and the <i>Belle Esprit</i>—A Definition +of Politeness—A Comical Illustration—A Pun—A well-turned Compliment—Unconsciousness +of Self—A Stranger's Impressions—A Poetic +<a name="tn_png_15a"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Tribute"-->Tribute,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_179">179</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Devotee of the Beautiful.</span>—A Morning Drive—Anticipation—Spiritual +Enjoyment—Discord—A Disappointment,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_184">184</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Soldier's Wife and the Ghoul.</span>—A Journey—The truly Brave—The +Arrival—A Chapter of Accidents—Self-Reproach—The Ghoul—The Calmness +of Despair—The Versatility of Woman—But a Step from the Sublime to +the Ridiculous—The Ghoul again—A Defiant Spirit—Punctilious Ceremony,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_186">186</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Fair Champion.</span>—A Query and its Solution—A Sketch—Raillery—A Tête-à-Tête—An +Interruption—"Fashionable" Hospitality—Genuine Hospitality—A +Mother's Advice—An indignant Spirit—Rebellion,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_193">193</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Man of One Idea.</span>—An Object for Worship—A Soirée—A Polite Colloquy—The +Host at Ease—A pleasing Hostess—The Climax,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_198">198</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Young America—an Anecdote,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_200">200</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Practical Philosopher.</span>—A handsome Aristocrat—An Accusation—A +Courteous Neighbor—Fall of a "Fixed Star"—Favorite Aphorism of Mrs. +Combe—The Daughter of the Siddons,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_201">201</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER VII.</p> +<p class="tochead">HEALTH.</p> +<p class="tocsubhead">THE TOILET, AS CONNECTED WITH HEALTH.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VII Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The True Basis of Health—Temperance an inclusive Term—Foundation of the +Eminence of J. Q. Adams—His Life a Model for the Young—His early Habits—Vigorous +Old Age—Example of Franklin in regard to Temperance—Illustrations +afforded by our National History—The Bath—Varying Opinions +and Constitutions—Imprudent use of the Bath—Bishop Heber—General +Directions—The Art of Swimming—Sponging—Deficiencies of the +Toilet in England—Collateral Benefits arising from habitual Sponge-bathing—The +Hair—All Fantastic Dressing of the Hair in bad taste—Use of +Pomades—Vulgarity of using Strong Perfumes—The Teeth—Use of Tobacco—Smoke +Dispellers—The Nails—The Feet—A complete Wardrobe essential +to Health—Early Rising—Its manifold Advantages—Example of Washington, +Franklin, etc., in this respect—Daniel Webster's Eulogy upon Morning—Retiring +early—Truth of a Medical Dogma—Opposition of Fashion and +Health—Early Hours essential to the Student—Importance of the early Acquisition +of Correct Habits in this Regard—Illustration—A combination of<a name="Page_xvi" id="Page_xvi"></a> +Right Habits essential to Health—Exercise—Walking—Pure Air—The Lungs +of a City—Superiority of Morning Air—An Erect Carriage of the Body in +Walking—Periodical Exercise—Necessary Caution—The Unwise Student—A +Warning—A Knowledge of Dietetics and Physiology requisite to the Preservation +of Health—Suitable Works on these Subjects—Riding and Driving +the Accomplishments of a Gentleman—A Horse a desirable Possession—Testimony +of Dr. Johnson—The Pride of Skill—Needful Caution—Judicious +Selection of <i>Locale</i> for these Modes of Exercise—Dr. Beatie's Tribute to +Nature—Importance of Temperance in Eating and Drinking, as regards +Health—The Cultivation of Simple Tastes in Eating—Proper Preparation of +Food Important to Health—Re-action of the Human Constitution—Effect of +Bodily Health upon the Mind—The pernicious Use of Condiments, etc., <a name="tn_png_016"></a><!--TN: Dash added after +"etc."-->etc.—<span class="smcap">Young Ambition's Ladder.</span>—Hours for Meals—Dining Late—Injurious Effects +of Prolonged Abstinence—The Stimulus of Distension—Repletion—Necessity +of deliberate and thorough Mastication—Judicious Use of Time in +Eating—The Use of Wine, Tobacco, etc.—The truly Free!—Dr. Johnson's +Opinion—Novel Argument against the Habits of Smoking and Drinking—Advice +of Sir Walter Raleigh to the Young—Then and Now—Council of a +"Looker-on" in this Utilitarian Age—Erroneous Impressions—Authority +of a celebrated Writer—Social Duties—The unbent Bow—Rational Enjoyment +the wisest Obedience to the Natural Laws—A determined Pursuit in +Life essential to Happiness and Health—Too entire Devotion to a Single +Object of Pursuit, unwise—Arcadian Dreams—Attainable Realities—Truisms—Decay +of the Social and Domestic Virtues—Human Sacrifices—Relaxations +and Amusements requisite to Health—Superiority of Amusements in +the Open Air for Students and Sedentary Persons generally—Benefits of +Cheerful Companionship—Objection to Games, etc., that require Mental +Exertion—Converse Rule—Fashionable Watering-places ill adapted to +Health—Avocations of the Farmer, Tastes as a Naturalist, Travel, Sporting, +etc., recommended—Depraved Public Taste—Slavery to Fashion—Habits +of Europeans, in this respect, superior to our own—Modern Degeneracy—Folly +thralled by Pride,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_203">203</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocsubhead">ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VII Illustrative Sketches and Anecdotes Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">To Give Eternity To Time.</span>—The Senate-Chamber and the Dying Statesman—The +Moral Sublime,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_225">225</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Jonathan's Sins and a Foreigner's Peccadillo.</span>—Celebrities—Dinner-table +Sallies—Grave Charges—Yankee Rejection of Cold Meats—Self-Preservation +the First Law of Nature!—A Mystery Solved—National Impartiality—Anecdote—Storming +a Fort—Successful Defence, by a Lady, of herself!—A +Stratagem—The Daughter of a Gun—An Explanation—The Tortures of +Outraged Modesty,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_226">226</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Dr. Abernethy and his Yankee Patient,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_232">232</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Cosmopolitan Chit-Chat.</span>—A Heterogeneous Party—The Golden Horn—Contemplations +in a Turkish Caique—A Discussion—"Christian Dogs" and +the Dogs of Constantinople—An unpleasant Discovery—A Magical Touch—The +Song of the Caidjis—A National Example,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_232">232</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst"><a name="Page_xvii" id="Page_xvii"></a>The Imperturbable Guest.</span>—A Dinner-Table Scene,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_238">238</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Youth and the Philosopher: Lines by Whitehead,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_239">239</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER VIII.</p> +<p class="tochead">LETTER-WRITING.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VIII Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Importance of this Branch of Education—Its Frequent Neglect—Usual Faults +of the Epistolary Style—Applicability of the rule of the Lightning-Tamer—Variety +of Styles appropriate to varying Subjects and Occasions—Impossibility +of laying down all-inclusive General Rules—Requisites of Letters of +Business—Legibility in Caligraphy—Affectation in this respect—Avoidance +of Servile Imitation—Advantage of possessing a good Business-hand—Time-saving +Importance of Rapidity—Letters of Introduction—Form Suitable for +Ordinary Purposes—Specimen of Letters Introducing a Person in Search of +a Business Situation, Place of Residence, etc., etc.—Introduction of Artists, +Professional Men, etc.—Presenting a Celebrity by Letter—Proper Attention +to Titles, Modes of abbreviating Titles, etc., etc.—Letters of Introduction to +be unsealed—Manner of Delivering Letters of Introduction—Cards, Envelopes, +Written Messages, etc., proper on such Occasions—Appointments and +due Courtesy, etc.—Form of Letter to a Lady of Fashion—Etiquette in regard +to Addresses—Letters Presenting Foreigners—Personal Introductions—Common +Neglect of Etiquette in this respect—Proper Mode of Introducing +Young Persons, or those of inferior social position—Of Introducing Men to +Women, very Young Ladies, etc.—Voice and Manner on such Occasions—Explanations +due to Strangers—Common Social Improprieties—American +Peculiarity—Hotel Registers, etc.—Courtesy due to Relations as well as to +Strangers—Impropriety of indiscriminate Introductions—Preliminary Ceremonies +among Men—In the Street—At Dinners—Evening-Parties—Receptions—Conventional +Rules subject to Changes, dictated by good-sense—Supremacy +of the Law of Kindness—Visiting Cards—European Fashion of +Cards—Style usual in America—Place of Residence—Phrases for Cards—Business +Cards: Ornaments, Devices, Color, Size, Legibility, etc.—Letters of +Recommendation—Moral Characteristic—Proper Style of Letters of Condolence—Form +of Letters of Congratulation—Admissibility of Brevity—Letters +to Superiors—Ceremonious Form for such Communications—Proper Mode of +Addressing Entire Strangers—Common Error in this respect—Punch's Sarcasm—Diplomats +and Public Functionaries should be Models in Letter-writing—An +Enigma—Diplomatic Letters—Letters of Friendship and Affection—General +Requisites of Epistolary Composition—Letters a Means of conferring +and Receiving Pleasure—Distinctive Characteristic of the Epistolary Style—Peccadilloes—Aids +facilitating the Practice in this Accomplishment—Notes +of Invitation, Acceptance, Regret—Observance of Usage—Simplicity the +best <i>ton</i> and taste—Etiquette with regard to Invitations to Dinner—Courtesy +in Matters of Social Life—Error of an American Author—Ceremony properly +preceding taking an uninvited Friend to a Party—Abstract good-breeding +the best Test of Propriety—Proper form of Ceremonious Notes of Invitation—Use +of the Third Person in writing Notes—Mailed Letters—Local<a name="Page_xviii" id="Page_xviii"></a> +Addresses, Form of Signature, etc., etc.—Requisites of Letter-Superscription—Writing-Materials—Small +Sheets, Margins, etc.—Colored Paper, Fanciful +Ornaments, Initials, &c.—Envelopes and Superscription—Wax, Seals, etc.—European +Letters—Rule—Promptitude in Letter-writing—Study of Published +Models beneficial to the Young—Scott, Byron, Moore, Horace Walpole, +Washington—Sir W. W. Pepys, etc.—Curiosities of the Epistolary Style—Anticipated +Pleasure,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_241">241</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<p class="tocsubhead">ILLUSTRATIONS.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter VIII Illustrations Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> + +<span class="tocfirst">The Warning—a Sketch of Nile-travel.</span>—A Group and a Dialogue amid +the Ruins of Thebes—Mustapha Aga and the Temple of Karnac—The Arrival—The +Distribution—Delights, Disappointments, and Despair,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_268">268</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Anecdote of the Mighty Wizard of the North,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_273">273</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Drawing-room Coterie of Criticism.</span>—The Library and the Intruder—Paternal +Authority—Condemnation—Comments and Criticisms—A Compliment—A +fair Bevy—Wit and Wisdom—Sport and Seriousness—A Model Note +and a Fair Eulogist—Paternal Approbation—What American Merchants +should be—An Anecdote—Discoveries and Accessions—<i>Apropos</i>—Fair Play +and a <i>Ruse</i>—A Group of Critics—An Invitation—A Rival—An Explanation +and an Admission—A Rescue and Retreat—An Old Man's Privilege—Seventeen +and Eighty-two—May and December,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_273">273</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The First Billet-Doux,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_284">284</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER IX.</p> +<p class="tochead">ACCOMPLISHMENTS.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter IX Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Comparative Importance of Accomplishments—Difference between Europeans +and Americans in this regard—Self-Education the most Useful—Peculiar +Incentives to Self-Culture possessed by Americans—Cultivation of a Taste +for the Ideal Arts—Desirableness of a Knowledge of Drawing—Incidental +Benefit resulting from the Practice of this Art—A Taste for Music—Mistaken +Conceptions of the Importance of this Accomplishment—Advantage of learning +Dancing—Desirableness of Riding and Driving—Various Athletic Exercises—A +ready and graceful Elocution of great Importance—A Source of +Social Enjoyment—The Art of Conversation—Use of Slang Phrases—Disadvantages +of Occasional Lenity towards the Corruptions of Language—The +only Safe Rule—Common want of Conversational Power—The Superiority +of the French over all other People in this Respect—The Salons of Paris—Pleasures +of the <i>Canaille</i>—French Children—Practice essential to Success—The +Embellishments of Conversation—Habits of a Celebrated Talker—Anecdote +of Sheridan—Some Preparation not Unsuitable before going into +Society—Qualities most essential to secure Popularity in General Society—The +"Guilt of giving Pain"—Avoidance of Personalities—The Language +of Compliment—Two Good Rules—Reprehensibleness of the Habit of +indulging in Gossip, Scandal, or Puerile Conversation—The Records of +"Heaven's High Chancery"—Importance of Exact Truthfulness in Conversation—The +Capacity of adapting Language to Occasions of <a name="tn_png_018"></a><!--TN: Dash added after "Importance"-->Importance—<a name="Page_xix" id="Page_xix"></a>Use of Foreign Phrases or Words—Tact and Good-Breeding the Safest +Guides in such Matters—Advantage of the Companionship of Cultivated +Persons, in Promoting Conversational Skill—Misuse of Strong Language—Conversational +Courtesies—Aphorism by Mr. Madison—Modesty Proper to +the Young in this Respect—Bad taste of talking of one's self in Society—The +World an Unsuitable Confidant—Quotation from Carlyle—Sympathy with +Others—The softer graces of Social Intercourse—Cheerfulness universally +Agreeable—A Glee in which Everybody can join—Anecdote—Human Sunbeams—Judicious +selection of Conversational Topics—Avoidance of +Assumption and Dictatorialness—Proper Regard for the Right of Opinion—Courtesy +due to Ladies and Clergymen—Folly of Promulgating Peculiarities +of Religious Opinion—Rudeness of manifesting Undue Curiosity respecting +the Affairs of Others—Boasting of Friends—Anecdote—Quickness at Repartee, +one of the Colloquial Graces—Dean Swift and his "fellow"—Anecdote +of the Elder Adams—A Ready and Graceful Reply to a Compliment not +to be Disregarded among the Elegancies of Conversation—The Retort +Courteous—Lady Hamilton and Lord Nelson—Specimens of Polite Phraseology—General +Conversation with Ladies—Essential Characteristics of +Light Conversation—Improprieties and Familiarities—Disagreeable Peculiarities—A +Dismal Character—Anecdote of Cuvier—Tact in Avoiding Personal +Allusions—Peculiarity of American Society—Ages of the Loves and +Graces—A Young Jonathan and an English Girl—Violation of Confidence—Sacredness +of Private Conversations—Politeness of a Ready Compliance +with the Wishes of Others in <a name="tn_png_19"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Society"-->Society,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_286">286</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocsubhead">ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES AND SKETCHES.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter IX Illustrative Anecdotes and Sketches Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Sang Froid and Sandwiches.</span>—A Ride with a Duke—The eager young Sportsman—A +Rencontre—A Query and a Response—A substantial <i>Bonne <a name="tn_png_19a"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Bouche"-->Bouche</i>,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_312">312</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +A Frenchman's <a name="tn_png_19b"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Relaxation"-->Relaxation,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_314">314</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Polemics and Politeness—Watering-place Society—Omnibus Orations—Sulphur-water +and Sacrifices—Religionists, Ladies and License, Reaction and +<a name="tn_png_19c"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Remorse"-->Remorse,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_315">315</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +An unexpected Declaration—Parisian <i>furore</i>—The unknown Patient—Practice +and <a name="tn_png_19d"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Pathos"-->Pathos,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_317">317</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Three Graces—Honor to whom Honor was Due—A Group for a Sculptor—Woman's +<a name="tn_png_19e"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Wit"-->Wit,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_318">318</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Scene in a <a name="tn_png_19f"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Drawing-room"-->Drawing-room,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_320">320</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Musical Mania—Guitar playing and the play of <a name="tn_png_19g"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Intellect"-->Intellect,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_321">321</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +A Fair <a name="tn_png_19h"></a><!--TN: Comma moved from mid-line to immedately after "Discussion"-->Discussion,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_323">323</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +National Dialect—A <a name="tn_png_19i"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Bagatelle"-->Bagatelle,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_324">324</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +A Murillo and a Living Study—A Morning in the Louvre with a congenial +Friend—A Painter's Advice—True <a name="tn_png_19j"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Epicureanism"-->Epicureanism,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_326">326</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Ready Elocution and Ready Wit—A Congressional <a name="tn_png_19k"></a><!--TN: Period changed to a comma after "Sketch"-->Sketch,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_327">327</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<a name="Page_xx" id="Page_xx"></a><p class="tocchapter">LETTER X.</p> +<p class="tochead">HABIT.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter X Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Habit</span> always Indicative of Character—Its Importance not properly estimated +by the Young—Rudeness and Republicanism too often Synonymous—Fashion +not always Good-breeding—Social American Peculiarities—Manners +of Americans abroad—Rowdyism at the Tuileries—The Propriety of +Learning from Older Nations the lighter Elegancies of Life—Madame Soulé +and the Queen of Spain—The tie of a Cravat and the Affairs of "Change"—George +Peabody a Model American—The distinctive name of Gentleman—Great +Importance of Suitable Associates—Spanish Proverb—The true Social +Standard—Safeguard against Eccentricity—Habits of Walking, Standing, +Sitting—Directions—Aaron Burr and De Witt Clinton—Bachelor Privileges—Decorum +in the presence of Ladies—Carrying the Hat, ease of Attitude, etc.—Benefits +of habitual Self-Restraint—Habits at Table—Eating with a Knife—Soiling +the Lips, Picking the Teeth, etc., etc.—Nicety In Matters of Detail—Courtesy +due to others—Manner to Servants in Attendance at Table—Avoidance +of Sensuousness of Manner—French Mode of Serving Dinners—The +Art of Carving—Helping Ladies at Table—Rule in Carving Joints of +Meat—Changing the Plate—Proper Mode of Taking Fish—Game—Butter at +Dinner—English Custom—Details of Habit at Table—Rights of Freemen—A +Just Distinction—Unhealthfulness of drinking too much at Dinner—Fast +Eating of Fast Americans—Sitting upon two Legs of a Chair—Anecdote—Habits +of using the Handkerchief—Toying with the Moustache, etc., etc.—Ladies +careful Observers of Minutiæ—Belief of the Ancient Gauls respecting +Women—Habits of Swaggering in Public Places—General Suggestions—Ladies +and Invalids in Terror of a Human War-Horse—Courtesy due while +playing Chess and other Games—Self-control in Sickness—Premature adoption +of Eye-Glasses—Affectation in this respect—Proper Attitude while +Reading or Studying—Habits of Early Rising—A Poetic Superstition unwarranted +by Health and Truth—Variance between Health and Fashion in +regard to Early Hours—Aphorism by Gibbon—Habit of taking Nostrums—Avoidance +of Quacks—Habit of acting as the Protectors of the Dependent +Sex—Effect of Trifling Habits upon the Opinions formed of us by Women—Habits +of handling Prints, Bijouterie, and Boquets, of Smoking, Whispering +and Ogling, to be shunned—Importance of Methodical Habits of Reading +and Studying—Value of the Gold Dust of Time—Anecdote—True Rule for +Reading to Advantage—Habit of Reading aloud—Great Importance of a +Habit of Industry—The Superiors of mere Genius—Habits of Cheerfulness +and Contentment not to be overlooked by the Young—Cultivation of Habitual +Self-Respect—Pride and Poverty not Necessarily Antagonistic—Self-Respect +a Shield against the Shafts of Calumny—True Honor not affected by +Occupation or Position—Benefits of a Habit of Self-Examination—The habitual +Study of the Scriptures recommended—<span class="smcap">Christ</span>, the Great Model of Humanity—Ungentlemanly +Habit of being late at Church, etc.—Pernicious +<a name="Page_xxi" id="Page_xxi"></a>Effects of prevalent Materialism—Personal Enjoyment resulting from habitually +idealizing all Mental Associations with Women—Defencelessness an +Impassable Barrier to Oppression from true Manhood—Impropriety of +speaking loudly to Ladies in public Places, of attracting Attention to them, +their Names and Prerogatives—Safe Rule in this regard—The Habit of Sympathy +with Human Suffering a Christian duty—Mistaken Opinion of Young +Men in this respect—The Examples presented by the Lives of the Greatly +Good—Mighty Achievements in the Cause of Humanity in the Power of a +Few—Habits of Good-Humor, Neatness, Order and Regularity due to others—Fastidious +Nicety in Matters of the Toilet, demanded by proper respect for +our daily Associates—The Importance of Habits of Exercise, Temperance +and Relaxation—Economy to be Cultivated as a Habit—Economy not Degrading—Habit +of Punctuality—Slavery to mere System condemned—Remark +of Sir Joshua Reynolds—Habit of Perseverance—Value of the +Habit of putting Ideas into Words—Of Habits of Reflection and Observation—Of +rendering Respect to Age, etc.—Culture of Esthetical Perceptions—American +Peculiarity—Curiosity not tolerated among the well-bred—The +inestimable value of Self-Possession—Its Natural Manifestations—Concluding +Advice,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_329">329</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<p class="tocsubhead">ILLUSTRATIONS.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter X Illustrations Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> + +<a name="tn_png_021"></a><!--TN: [**use sc]"onathan" changed to "Jonathan"--><span class="tocfirst">Jonathan and Queen Victoria.</span>—A Stroll through the World's Palace—A +Royal Party—The Yankee Enthroned—A Confession,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_362">362</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Damon and Pythias Modernized.</span>—A Family Council—A Celebrity and a +Hotel Dinner—A Discovery—A Sketch—Telegraphing and Triumph—Beer +and a Break-down—Drawing-room Chit-chat—A Young Lady's Eulogy—Retort +Courteous—A New Acquaintance—An Explanation—Dinner the +Second—Sense and Sensibility—A Ruse—A Request and Appointment—A +Contrast—Catastrophy—A Note and a Disappointment—Fair Frankness—An +Unexpected Rencontre—The Re-union—Pictures and Pleasantries—The +Protector of the Helpless,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_363">363</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">A Visit To Abbotsford.</span>—Sir Walter Scott as Colonel of Dragoons, Sheriff of +the County, Host, Friend, and Author—Mrs. Hemans and Little "Charley"—Courteous +Hospitality—At Driburg with Mr. Lockhart—Solution of a +Mystery—Sir Walter's favorite "Lieutenant,"</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_382">382</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Confession of a Celebrated Orator,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_385">385</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Lemon and the Carnation.</span>—A Stage-Coach Adventure—A fair Passenger—Churlishness +and Cheerfulness—A Comic Duet—Stage-Sickness—An +impromptu Physician—Offerings—Acknowledgments—A Docile Patient—Welcome +Home—Arrival—A Family Group—A Discovery—Recognition—An +Invitation—Hospitality—Sunday Evening at the Rectory—The Honorable +Occupation of Teaching Young Ladies—A Prophesy—Family Jars—A +Compliment,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_386">386</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +A Notability and his Newfoundland Dog,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_400">400</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Extremes Meet.</span>—European Travelling-Companion—A cool Place and a +"cool" Character—A Foreigner's Criticism—Fair Commentators—Dinner-table +Sketch—Three Parties in a Rail-Car—Sunshine and Showers—An <a name="Page_xxii" id="Page_xxii"></a>Earth-Angel—Anecdote +of Thorwalsden, the Danish Sculptor—A Scene—Gentlemanly +Inquiries—Paddy's Explanation,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_401">401</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Have You Been Impatient?</span>—A Broken Engagement—About a Horse—Charley's +Orphan Cousin—Ideas of Luxury—Novel Experiences—The freed Bird—Bless +God for Flowers and Friends!—A Recoil—A Tirade—The Bird Re-caged—Self-Examination—Retrospection +and Resolution—A Note and a +Boquet—A Blush Transfixed,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_412">412</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER XI.</p> +<p class="tochead">MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter XI Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Author's Conscious Incapacity—Education within the Power of All—Americans +not Socially Trammelled—The Two Attributes of Mind essential +to Self-Culture—Prospective Discernment—The most enlightened System of +Education—Duty of Cultivating the Moral as well as the Intellectual Nature—The +Acquisition of Wealth not to be regarded as the highest Human +Attainment—Definition of Self-Culture—Reading for Amusement only, +Unwise—"Aids and Appliances" of Judicious Reading—Example of a +Great Man—Fictitious Literature—Pernicious Effects often resulting from +a Taste for Light Reading—Condemnation of Licentious Novels—Advantages +of Noting Choice Passages in Reading—Carlyle's Criticism of Public Men—The +Study of History of Great Importance—Benefits resulting from the +Perusal of well-selected Biographies—Enumeration of celebrated Works of +this Character—Newspaper and Magazine Reading—A Cultivated Taste in +Literature and Art the result of thorough Mental Training—Affectation and +Pretention in this regard to be avoided—Critical Assumption condemned—Impressions +produced upon observing Judges by a Pretentious Manner—"The +World's Dread Laugh"—Advantages of Foreign Travel—Misuse of +this Advantage—Knowledge of Modern Languages essential to a complete +Education—False Impression prevalent on this point—Philosophic Wisdom—Wise +Covetousness—Tact the Result of General Self-Culture—An Individual +Moral Code of advantage—Example of Washington—Education not completed +by a Knowledge of Books—Definition of True Education—The Development +of the Moral Perceptions promotive of Intellectual Advancement—Undue +Exaltation of Talent over Virtue—Religious Faith the legitimate +Result of rightly-directed Education—Needful Enlightenment of Conscience—The +Life of Jesus Christ the best Moral Guide-Book—Charity to the Faults +of others the Result of Self-Knowledge—The Golden Rule of the Great +Teacher—The highest Aim of Humanity—Reverence for the Spiritual Nature +of Man the Result of Self-Culture—Danger of Self-Indulgence in regard to +trifling Errors—Caution against the Infidel Philosophy of the Times—The +establishment of Fixed Principles of Action—The True Mode of computing +Life,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_423">423</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Apollo turned Author: a Bagatelle,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_438">438</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Attainment of Knowledge under Difficulties—Necessity the Nurse of True +Greatness—The Learned Blacksmith—The Wagoner—The Mill-Boy of the +Slashes—Franklin and Webster,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_439">439</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<a name="Page_xxiii" id="Page_xxiii"></a>A Peep at Passers-by, from the "Loopholes of Retreat,"</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_440">440</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Force of Genius—A Man about Town—Anecdote—Manly Indignation,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_441">441</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> + +Old-Fashioned Honor,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_442">442</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Webster on Biblical Studies,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_443">443</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +The Young Frenchman and the Pyramids,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_443">443</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Peccadilloes and Punctiliousness</span>.—Extract—Sir Humphrey Davy—Tribute +to Religion,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_446">446</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tocchapter">LETTER XII.</p> +<p class="tochead1">CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.—SELECTION OF A PURSUIT +IN LIFE.—COURTSHIP.—MARRIAGE.—HOUSEKEEPING.—PECUNIARY +MATTERS.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter XII Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">Rule</span> to be observed in the Selection of Associates—Advantage of the Companionship +of Persons of more Experience than Ourselves—False Sentiments +entertained by Lord Byron regarding Friendship—Self-Consciousness +affords the best Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions—Value of +Friendship—Importance of the Judicious Selection of Confidants—Folly of +demanding Perfection in one's Friends—Selection of Employment—The first +Consideration in this Relation—Thorough Education should not be confined +to Candidates for the Learned Professions—The Merchant Princes of +America—Avenues for Effort—All Honest Occupations dignified by Right +Conduct—The Pursuit of Wealth as an End—Freedom the Prerogative of +the Worker—A Professional Manner Condemned—Individual Insignificance—Advantages +of Early Marriage—Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness—Each +Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites—Health, +Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife—Accomplishments not +essential to Domestic Happiness—Disadvantages resulting from a previous +Fashionable Career—A True Wife—Respect due to the proper Guardians +of a Lady by her Suitor—Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady—Reserve +and Respect of Manner due to Female Friends—Manly Frankness +as a Suitor the only Honorable Course—Attachment to one Woman no Excuse +for Rudeness to others—The Art of Pleasing—Presents, Complimentary +Attentions, etc.—Nicety of Perception usual in Women—Power of the Law +of Kindness in Home-Life—The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to +be carefully avoided—The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right Influence +over his Wife—Union of Spirit the only Satisfying Bond—More than Roman +Sternness assumed by some—Sacredness of all the Better Emotions of the +Human Heart—Expressive Synonymes—Pecuniary Matters—The Pernicious +Effects of Boarding—An Old Man's Advice—Household Gods—Propriety of +Providing for Future Contingencies—Slavery Imposed by Pride and Poverty—Comfort +and Refinement <a name="tn_png_023"></a><!--TN: "compatable" changed to "compatible"-->compatible with Moderate Resources—Books and +Works of Art to be preferred to Fine Furniture—Importance of Cherishing +the Esthetical Tastes of Children—"Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social +and Domestic Life,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_447">447</a></td> +</tr> +</table> +<a name="Page_xxiv" id="Page_xxiv"></a><p class="tocsubhead">ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC.</p> +<table border="0" width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="2" summary="Letter XII Illustrative Sketches Contents" style="margin-top:1.25em;margin-bottom:1.25em;" align="center"> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Mooted Point.</span>—A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations—Macaulay +and the Blanket Coat—Curate's Daughters and the Daughters of New-England—A +Sybarite—A Disclaimer and a Witticism—Not a Gentleman—"Trifles +make the sum of Human Things"—The Slough of Despond—A Gift—Reading +Poetry—A Soldier's Tactics—The "Unpardonable Sin"—A Fair +Champion and a Noble Sentiment,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_463">463</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an American Statesman,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_470">470</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_472">472</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Habits of Early Friends,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_478">478</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +<span class="tocfirst">The Prophecy Fulfilled.</span>—A Denouement—Cupid turned Carrier—Wedding-Cards +and Welcome News—A True Woman's Letter,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_478">478</a></td> +</tr> +<tr valign="bottom"> +<td style="width: 90%;" class="toctext"> +Uncle Hal's Farewell,</td> +<td class="tocnum" style="width: 10%;"><a href="#Page_480">480</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></a> +<h1 style="line-height:150%;"><span style="font-size:.7em;">THE</span><br>AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE.</h1> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="padding-bottom:1.5em;padding-top:1.5em;"> +<img src="images/line2.png" alt="" title="" width="150" height="12"></div> +<h2><a name="LETTER_I" id="LETTER_I"></a>LETTER I.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">DRESS.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear young Friends:—</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">As</span> you are already, to some extent, +acquainted with the design and scope of the Letters +I propose to address to you, there is no necessity +for an elaborate prelude at the commencement +of the series.</p> + +<p>We will, with your permission, devote our attention +first to <i>Dress</i>—to the external man—and advance, in +accordance with the true rules of Art, gradually, +towards more important subjects.</p> + +<p>Whatever may be the abstract opinions individually +entertained respecting the taste and regard for +comfort evinced in the costume now, with trifling +variations, almost universally adopted by men in all<a name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></a> +civilized lands, few will dispute the practical utility +of conforming to the general requisitions of Fashion.</p> + +<p>Happily for the gratification of fancy, however, the +all-potent goddess, arbitrary and imperative as are her +laws, permits, at least to some extent, such variations +from her general standard as personal convenience, +physical peculiarities, or varying circumstances may +require.</p> + +<p>But a due regard for these and similar considerations +by no means involves the exhibition of <i>eccentricity</i>, +which I hold to be inconsistent with good +taste, whether displayed in dress or manner.</p> + +<p>A violation of the established rules of Convention +cannot easily be defended, except when required by +our obligations to the more strenuous requirements +of duty. Usually, however, departures from conventional +propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character. +The Laws of Convention, like all wise laws, +are instituted to promote "the greatest good of the +greatest number." They constitute a <i>Code of Politeness +and Propriety</i>, adapted to the promotion of +social convenience, varying somewhat with local circumstances, +it may be, but everywhere substantially +the same. It is common to talk of the eccentricities +of genius, as though they are essential concomitants +of genius itself. Nothing can be more unfounded +and pernicious than this impression. The eccentricities +that sometimes characterize the intellectually +gifted, are but so many humiliating proofs of the +imperfection of human nature, even when exhibiting +its highest attributes. Hence the affectation of such<a name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></a> +peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule, and, in +many instances, to the contempt of sensible people.</p> + +<p>Some years since, when Byron was the "bright, +particular star" worshipped by young Sophs, it was +quite a habit among our juvenile collegians to drink +gin, wear their collars <i>à la mode de Byron</i>, cultivate +misanthropy upon system, and manifest the most +concentrated horror of seeing women eat! In too +many instances, the sublimity of genius was meagerly +illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety. +In place of catching an inspiration, they only caught +cold; their gloomy indifference to the hopes, the +enjoyments, and pursuits of ordinary life, distressed +no one, save, perhaps, their <i>ci-devant</i> nurses, or the +"most tender of mothers;" their "killing" peculiarities +of costume were scarcely daguerreotyped even +upon the impressible hearts of the school-girls whose +smiling observance they might chance passingly to +arrest; women of sense and education pertinaciously +adhered to a liking for roast beef, with variations, +and manifested an equally decided partiality for the +society and attention of men who were not indebted +for the activity of their intellects to the agency of +the juniper berry! Falling into such absurdities as +these, a man cannot hope to escape the obnoxious +imputation of being <i>very young</i>!</p> + +<p>But while care is taken to avoid the display of +undue attention to the adornment of the outer man, +everything approaching to indifference or neglect, in +that regard, should be considered equally reprehensible. +No one entertains a more profound respect<a name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></a> +for the prodigious learning of Dr. Johnson, from +knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than +change his linen; nor are we more impressed by the +gallant tribute to kindred genius that induced his +attending Mrs. Siddons to her carriage, when she +visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to +occupy even in his old age, because his trunk-hose +were dangling about his heels, as he descended the +stairs with his fair guest. One does not envy Porson, +the greatest of modern Greek scholars, his habitually +dirty and shabby dress, because it is forever +associated with his learned celebrity! Neither is +Greeley a better, or more influential editor, that he +is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except +when encased in a long drab-colored overcoat. He, +however, seems to have adopted an axiom laid down +in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my +youth—"Thaddeus of Warsaw," I think—"Acquire +the character of an oddity, and you seat yourself in +an easy-chair for life." The supposition of monomania +most charitably explains the indulgence in +habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized +the distinguished <i>savant</i> ——, who died +recently at Paris. Had he slept in a clean bed, and +observed the decencies of life, generally, the race +would have been equally benefited by his additions +to scientific lore, and his country the more honored +that he left a name in no degree in <i>bad odor</i> with +the world!</p> + +<p>But to return:—No better uninspired model for +young Americans exists than that afforded, in the<a name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></a> +most minute details, of the life and character of +Washington; and even upon a point comparatively +so insignificant as that we are at present discussing, +he has left us his recorded opinion: "Always," he +writes to his nephew, "have your clothes made of +the best materials, by the most accomplished persons +in their business, whose services you can command, +and in the prevailing fashion."</p> + +<p>With such illustrious authority for the advice, then, +I unhesitatingly counsel you to dress <i>in the fashion</i>.</p> + +<p>To descend to particulars designed to include all +the minutiæ of a gentleman's wardrobe, were as futile +as useless; but a few hints upon this point, may, +nevertheless, not be wholly out of place in epistles +so frank, practical and familiar as these are intended +to be.</p> + +<p>The universal partiality of our countrymen for +<i>black</i>, as the color of dress clothes, at least, is frequently +remarked upon by foreigners. Among the +best dressed men on the continent, as well as in England, +black, though not confined to the clergy, is in +much less general use than here. They adopt the +darker shades of blue, brown and green, and for undress +almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics. +An English gentleman, for instance, is never seen in +the morning (which means abroad all that portion of +the twenty-four hours devoted to business, out-door +amusements and pursuits, &c.;—it is always <i>morning</i> +until the late dinner hour has passed) in the half-worn +coat of fine black cloth, that so inevitably gives a +man a sort of shabby-genteel look; but in some<a name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></a> +strong-looking, rough, knock-about "fixin," frequently +of nondescript form and fashion, but admirably +adapted both in shape and material for use—for +work. Of this, by the way, every man, worthy of +the name, has a daily portion to perform, in some +shape or other—from the Duke of Devonshire, with a +fortune that would purchase half-a-dozen consort-king-growing +German principalities, and leave a princely +inheritance for his successors, to the youngest son of +a youngest son, who, though proud of the "gentle +blood" in his veins, earns, as an <i>employé</i> in the service +of the government,—in some one of its ten thousand +forms of patronage and power—the limited salary +that barely suffices, when eked out by the most ingenious +economy, to supply the hereditary necessities +of a gentleman. But this is a digression. As I was +saying in the morning, during work-hours, whatever +be a man's employment, and wherever, his outside +garb should be suited to ease and convenience, its +only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous +cleanliness, and the invariable accompaniment of +fresh linen.</p> + +<p>Coming to the discussion of matters appertaining +to a toilette elaborate enough for occasions of ceremony, +I think of no better general rule than that +laid down by Dr. Johnson (in his character of a +shrewd observer of men and manners, rather than +as himself affording an illustration of the axiom, +perhaps)—"<i>the best dressed persons are those in whose +attire nothing in particular attracts attention</i>."</p> + +<p>There is an indescribable air of refinement, a <i>je ne<a name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></a> +sais quoi</i>, as the French have it, at an equal remove +from the over-washed look of your thorough Englishman +(their close-cropped hair always reminds me +of the incipient stage of preparation for assuming a +strait-jacket!) and the walking tailor's advertisement +that perambulates Fifth Avenue, Chestnut-street, the +Boston Mall, and other fashionable promenades in +our cis-Atlantic cities, in attendance upon the locomotive +milliner's show-cases, yclept "belles"—God +save the mark!</p> + +<p>The essentials of a gentleman's dress, for occasions +of ceremony are—a stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of +some dark color, and of unexceptionable quality; +nether garments to correspond, or in warm weather, +or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of +a fashionable material and make; the finest and +purest linen, embroidered in white, if at all; a cravat +and vest, of some dark or neutral tint, according +to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer, +and the <i>prevailing mode</i>; a fresh-looking, fashionable +black hat and carefully-fitted, modish boots, light-colored +gloves, and a soft, thin, white handkerchief.</p> + +<p>Perhaps, the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits +her subjects more license in regard to the arrangement +of the hair and beard, than with respect to any +other matter of the outer man. A real artist, and such +every man should be, who meddles with the "human +face divine" or its adjuncts, will discern at a glance +the capabilities of each head submitted to his manipulation. +Defects will thus be lessened, or wholly +concealed, and good points brought out.<a name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></a></p> + +<p>If you wear your beard, wear it in moderation—extremes +are always vulgar! Avoid all fantastic +arrangements of the hair—turning it under in a huge +roll, smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine, and as +little suggestive of good taste and comfort as would +be the coil of a boa constrictor similarly located, +parting it in Miss Nancy style, and twisting it into +love [soap?] locks with a curling-tongs, or allowing +it to straggle in long and often, seemingly, "uncombed +and unkempt" masses over the coat-collar. +This last outrage of good-taste is so gross a violation +of what is technically called "keeping," as to excite +in me extreme disgust. Ill, indeed, does it accord +with the trim, compact, easily-portable costume of +our day, and a miserable imitation, it is of the flowing +hair that, in days of yore, fell naturally and +gracefully upon the broad lace collar turned down +over the velvet or satin short-cloak of the cavaliers +and appropriately adorning shoulders upon which, +with equal fitness, drooped a long, waving plume, +from the wide-brimmed, steeple-crowned, picturesque +hat that completed the costume.</p> + +<p>While on this subject of <i>collars</i>, etc., let us stop to +discuss for a moment the nice matter of their size and +shape. Just now, like the "life" of a "poor old man," +they have "dwindled to the shortest span," under +the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode. +Whether this is the result of a necessity growing +with the lengthening beards that threaten wholly to +ignore their existence, you must determine for yourselves, +but I must enter my protest against the total<a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a> +extinction of this relieving line of white, so long, at +least, as the broad wristband, now so appropriately +accompanying the wide coat-sleeve, shall remain in +vogue.</p> + +<p>The mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally +brings to mind the highly ornate style of sleeve-buttons +now so generally adopted. Eschew, I pray +you, all <i>flash stones</i> for these or any other personal +ornament. Nothing is more unexceptionable for +sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of the front of a +shirt, than <i>fine gold</i>, fashioned in some simple form, +sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability, and +skillfully and handsomely wrought, if ornamented +at all. Few young men can consistently wear +diamonds, and they are, if not positively exceptionable, +in no degree requisite to the completion of the +most elaborate toilette. But those who do sport them, +should confine themselves to genuine stones of +unmistakable water, and never let their number +induce in the minds of beholders the recollection +that a travelling Jew—whether from hereditary distrust +of the stability of circumstances, or from some +other consideration of personal convenience, usually +carries his entire fortune about his person! Better +the simplest fastenings of mother-of-pearl than such +staring vulgarity of display. And so of a watch +and its appendages. A <i>gentleman</i> carries a watch +for convenience, and secures it safely upon his person, +wearing with it no useless ornament, paraded to +the eye. It is, like his pencil and purse, good of its<a name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></a> +kind, and if he can afford it, handsome, but it is +never <i>flashy</i>!</p> + +<p>The fashion of sporting <i>signet-rings</i> is not so general, +perhaps, as it was a little while since, but it still +retains a place among the minutiæ of our present +theme. Here, again, the same general rules of good +taste apply as to other ornaments. When worn at +all, everything of this sort should be most unexceptionably +and unmistakably tasteful and genuine. +Any deviation from good <i>ton</i>, in this regard, will as +inevitably give a man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting +boot will, or the slightest declension from the +perpendicular in his hat!</p> + +<p>In connection with my earnest advice in regard to +all flash ornaments, to whatever purpose applied, I +must not omit to record my protest against staring +patterns in pants, cravats, vests, etc. Carefully +avoid all the large, many-colored plaids and stripes, +of which (as <i>Punch</i> has demonstrated) it takes more +than one ordinary-sized man to show the pattern; +and all glaring colors as well. I have no partiality, +as I believe I have intimated, for the eternal dead +black which, abroad at least, belongs, by usage, primarily +to the clergy; but this is a better extreme +than that which has for its original type the sign-board +getting-up of a horse-jockey.</p> + +<p>A fashion has of late years obtained extensively, +which has always, within my remembrance, had its +admirers—that of a <i>white suit throughout</i>, for very +warm weather. This has the great merit of comfort, +and some occupations permit its adoption without<a name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></a> +inconvenience. But even the use of thin summer +cravats (which should always be of some unconspicuous +color) wonderfully mitigates the sufferings +incident to the dog-days, and these are admissible +for dress occasions, when corresponding with the +general effect of the vest and nether investments.</p> + +<p>To recur once more to the important item of body +linen;—never wear a <i>colored</i><a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> shirt—have no such +article in your wardrobe. Figures and stripes do +not conceal impurity, nor should this be a desideratum +with any decent man. The now almost obsolete +German author, Kotzebue—whose plays were very +much admired when I was young, and whom your +modern students of German should read in the original—I +remember, makes one of his female characters, +a sensible, observing woman, say that she +detected a <i>gentleman</i> in the disguise of a menial by +observing the <i>fineness of his linen</i>! If your occupation +be such as to require strong, rough-and-tumble +garments, wear them, unhesitatingly, when you +are at work, but have them good of their kind, and +keep them clean. While your dress handkerchief +should not look, either for size or quality, as if you +had, for the nonce, perverted the proper use of bed-linen—in +the woods, for pioneer travelling, rough +riding, etc., a bandanna is more sensible, as is a cut-away +coat, or something of that sort, with ample +pockets, loose, strong, and warm, and a "soft" +broad-brimmed, durable hat, or cap, as the case may +be—not an old, fine black cloth dress-coat, sur<a name="Page_36" id="Page_36"></a>mounted +by a narrow-rimmed "segment of a stove-pipe," +with a satin cravat, though it be half-worn! +In short, my dear boys, study fitness and propriety +in all things. This is the legitimate result of a well +regulated mind, the characteristic of a true Gentleman—which +every American should aim to be—not +a thing made up of dress, perfumery, and "boos," +as Sir Archy McSycophant styled them; but a right-minded, +self-respecting man, with Excelsior for his +motto, and our broad, free, glorious land "all before +him, where to choose" the theatre of a useful, honorable +life. Matters like those I have dwelt on in +this letter, are trifles, comparatively; but trifles, in +the aggregate, make life, and, thus viewed, are not +unworthy the subordinate attention of a man of sense. +They are collateral, I admit, but they go to make up +the perfect whole—to assist in the attainment of the +true standard which every young man should keep +steadily in view. And, insignificant as the effect of +attention to such matters may appear to you, depend +upon it, that habits of propriety and refinement in +regard to such personal details, have more than a +negative influence upon character in general. The +man who preserves inviolable his self-respect, in +regard to all personal habits and surroundings, is, +<i>ceteris paribus</i>, far less likely to acquire a relish for +low company and profligate indulgences, and to cultivate +correspondent mental and moral attributes. +It occurs to me that, going into detail, as I have, +your attention should, in the proper connection, +have been called to a little matter of dress etiquette,<a name="Page_37" id="Page_37"></a> +of which you moderns are strangely neglectful, as it +appears to an old stickler for propriety like me. To +have offered an ungloved hand to a lady, in the +dance, would, in days when I courted the graces, +have been esteemed a peccadillo, and over-punctilious +as you may think me, it seems very unhandsome to +me. A dress costume is no more complete without +gloves than without boots, and to touch the pure +glove of a lady with uncovered fingers is—impertinent!</p> + +<p>Here, again, let me condemn all fancy display. +A fresh white, or, what amounts at night to the same +thing, pale yellow glove, is the only admissible thing +for balls, other large evening parties, ceremonious +dinners, and wedding receptions; but for making +ordinary morning visits, or for the street, some dark, +unnoticeable color is in quite as good taste and <i>ton</i>. +Bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much +conspicuousness for good effect, and, to my mind, give +the whole man a plebeian air. I remember once +being, for a long time, unable to divine what a finely-dressed +young fellow, in whom I thought I recognised +the son of an old college chum, could be carrying +in each hand, as he walked towards me across +the Albany Park; of similar size and color, he +seemed, John Gilpin like, to have</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"hung a bottle on each side<br></span> +<span class="i0">To keep the balance sure!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>When I could, in sailor phrase, "make him out," +behold a pair of great fat hands, incased in tight-<a name="Page_38" id="Page_38"></a>fitting +gloves, closely resembling in hue the brightest +orange-colored wrapping-paper!</p> + +<p>You will expect me not entirely to overlook the +important topic of <i>over-garments</i>.</p> + +<p>As in all similar matters, it is the best taste not +to deviate so much from the prevailing modes as to +make one's self remarkable. Fortunately, however, +for the infinite diversity presented by the human +form, a sufficient variety in this respect is offered +by fashion to gratify the greatest fastidiousness. +And no point of dress, perhaps, more imperatively +demands discrimination, with regard to its selection. +Thus, a tall, slender figure, with narrow shoulders +and ill-developed arms, is displayed to little advantage +in the close-fitting, long-skirted overcoat that +would give desirable compactness to the rotund +person of our short, portly friend, Alderman D., +while the defects of the same form would be almost +wholly concealed by one of the graceful and convenient +Talmas that so successfully combine beauty +and comfort, and afford, to an artistically-cultivated +eye, the nearest approach to an abstract standard of +taste, presented by masculine attire, since the flowing +short cloak of the so-called Spanish costume was +in vogue.</p> + +<p>Here, again, one is reminded of the propriety of +regarding <i>fitness</i> in the selection of garments especially +designed to promote comfort. Nothing can +well be more ungainly than the appearance of a +man in one of the large woollen shawls that have of +late obtained such general favor, at least as they are<a name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></a> +frequently worn, slouching loosely from the shoulders, +and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop, +the more readily to retain them in place. They are +well adapted to night travel, to exposed riding and +driving (when properly secured about the chest), +and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed +for the opera or a ball. But that any sensible person +should encumber himself with such an appendage +in <i>walking</i>—for daily street wear—is matter for surprise. +They have by no means the merit for this +purpose of the South American <i>poncho</i>, which is +simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth, +with an opening in the centre for passing it over the +head, thus securing it in place, and giving the +wearer the free use of his arms and hands, a desideratum +quite overlooked in the usual arrangement, or +rather <i>non</i>-arrangement of these dangling "M'cGregors." +But the way, I well remember, that one of +the young T——s of Albany, not very many years +ago, was literally mobbed in the streets of that +ancient asylum of Dutch predilections, upon his +appearance there in a <i>poncho</i> brought with him on +his return from Brazil! So much for the mutations +of fashion and opinion!</p> + +<p>To sum up all, let me slightly paraphrase the +laconic and invariable advice of the immortal Nelson +to the young middies under his command. +"Always obey your superior officer," said the English +hero, "and hate a Frenchman as you would +the devil!" Now then, for my "new reading:"—In +<span class="smcap">DRESS</span>, <i>always obey the dictates of Fashion, regulated<a name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></a> +by good sense, and hate shabby gentility as you would +the devil</i>!</p> + +<p>Well, you young dogs, here ends the substance of +my first old-fashioned letter of advice to you. I +will confess that upon being convinced, as I was at +the very outset, how much easier it is to think and +talk than to write, I was more than half inclined to +recall my promise to you all. The pen of your +veteran uncle, my boys, has little of "fuss and +feathers," though it may be "rough and ready." +The "Mill-Boy of the Slashes" used often to say, +when we were both young men, and constantly associated +in business matters as well as in friendship, +"Let Lunettes do that, he holds the readier pen;" +but times are changed since then, and you must not +expect fine rhetorical flourishes, or the elegances of +modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions. +I learned my English when "Johnson's +Dictionary" was the only standard of our language, +and the "Spectator" regarded as affording an unexceptionable +model of style. With this proviso, I +dare say, we shall get on bravely, now that we are +once fairly afloat; and, perhaps, some day we'll get +an enterprising publisher in our Quaker City to +shape these effusions into a "<i>prent book</i>" for <i>private +circulation</i>—a capital idea! at least for redeeming +my crabbed hieroglyphics from being "damned with +faint praise" by my "numerous readers," a thought +by no means palatable to the sensitive mind of your +old relative.</p> + +<p>I believe it was "nominated in the bond," that<a name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></a> +the subjects treated of in each of my promised letters +shall be illustrated by stories, or anecdotes, +drawn from what you were pleased to style "the +ample stores furnished by a life of large observation +and varied experience." It occurs to me, however, +that as this, my first awkward essay to gratify your +united wishes, has already grown to an inconceivable +length, it were well to reserve for another +occasion the fulfillment of the latter clause of your +request, as more ample space and a less lagging pen +may then second the efforts of</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Your affectionate<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Uncle Hal.</span><br></span> +</div> + +<p>P. S.—In my next, I will include some practical +directions respecting the details of costume +suitable for various ceremonious occasions—the +opera, dinners, weddings, etc., etc.</p> + +<p>"Whew!" methinks I hear you all exclaim, +"our old uncle setting himself up as</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"'The glass of fashion and the mould of form!'</p> + +<p class="continue">He may indeed be able to</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">——"'hold the mirror up to Nature;'</p> + +<p class="continue">but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere +fashion"——</p> + +<p>Not too fast, my young friends! Do not suppose +me capable of such folly. But, for the benefit of +such of you as are so far removed from the centre<a name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></a> +of <i>ton</i> as to require such assistance, I have invoked +the aid of a good-humored friend, thoroughly <i>au fait</i> +in such matters, the "observed of all observers" in +our American Belgravia, a luminary in whose rays +men do gladly sun themselves.</p> +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">H. L.</span><br></span> +</div> + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> It will be understood, of course, that the necessities and the +regulations of military life are here excepted.</p></div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_II" id="LETTER_II"></a>LETTER II.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">In</span> accordance with the promise with +which I concluded my last letter, I will give you, in +this, narrated in my homely way, some anecdotes, +illustrative of the opinions I have expressed upon the +subject of <span class="smcap">DRESS</span>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Liking, sometimes, to amuse myself by a study +of the masses, in holyday attire and holyday humor,—to +see the bone and sinew of our great country, +the people who make our laws, and for whose +good they are administered by their servants, enjoying +a jubilee, and wishing also to meet some old +friends who were to be there (among others, Gen. +Wool, who, though politicians accused him of going +to lay pipe for the presidency, is a right good fellow, +and the very soul of old-fashioned hospitality), I went +on one occasion to a little city in western New York, +to attend a State Fair.</p> + +<p>On the night of the <i>fête</i> that concluded the affair, +your cousins, Grace and Gerté, to whom you all say<a name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></a> +I can refuse nothing, however unreasonable, insisted +that I should be their escort, and protested warmly +against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an +old fellow like me being kept up until after midnight +to watch, like a griffin guarding his treasures, while +two silly girls danced with some "whiskered Pandoor," +or some "fierce huzzar," who would be as +much puzzled to tell where he won his epaulettes as +was our (militia) Gen. ——, of whom, when he was +presented to that sovereign, on the occasion of a +court levee, Louis Philippe asked, "where he had +served!"</p> + +<p>It would not become me to repeat half the flattering +things by which their elegant <i>chaperon</i>, Mrs. B. +seconded the coaxing declarations of your cousins, +that they would be "enough more proud to go with +Uncle Hal than with all the half-dozen beaux together," +whose services had been formally tendered and +accepted for the occasion.</p> + +<p>"Yes, indeed," cried Gerté, "for Uncle Hal is a +<i>real</i> soldier!" And I believe the wheedling rogue +actually pressed her velvety lips to the ugly sabre +scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage.</p> + +<p>"Col. Lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his +arms when ladies are his assailants!" said Mrs. B. +with one of her conquering smiles. "Well, ladies," +said I, "I cry you mercy—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"'Was ever colonel by such sirens wooed,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Was ever colonel by such sirens won!'"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>I have no intention to inflict upon you a long de<a name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></a>scription +of the festivities of the evening. Suffice +it to say upon that point, that the "beauty and +fashion," as the newspapers phrase it, not only of +the Empire State, but of the Old Dominion, and +others of the fair sisterhood of our Union, were brilliantly +represented.</p> + +<p>When our little party entered the dancing-room, +which we did at rather a late hour, for we had been +listening to some good speaking in another apartment—the +ladies declared that they preferred to do so, as +they could dance at any time, but rarely had an opportunity +of hearing distinguished men speak in +public,—the "observed of all observers," among +the fairer part of the assembly, and the envy, of +course, of all the male candidates for admiration, +was young "General ——," one of the <i>aids-de-camp</i> +of the Governor of the State. In attendance upon his +superior officer, who was present with the rest of his +staff, our juvenile Mars was in full military dress, +and made up, as the ladies say, in the most elaborate +and accepted style of love-locks (I have no idea what +their modern name may be), whiskers and moustaches. +The glow that mantled the cheeks of the triumphant +Boanerges could not have been deeper dyed had <a name="tn_png_045"></a><!--TN: "s" changed to "his"-->his +"<i>modesty</i>," like that of Washington, when overpowered +by the first public tribute rendered to him +by Congress, "been equalled only by his bravery!"</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"He above the rest in shape and gesture,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Proudly eminent."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">but apparently, wholly unconscious of the attention<a name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></a> +of which he was the subject, was smilingly engrossed +by his devotion to the changes of the dance, and to +his fair partner; and the last object that attracted my +eye, as we retired from the field of his glory, were +the well-padded military coat, the curling moustaches +and sparkling eyes of "Adjutant-Gen. ——!"</p> + +<p>True to my old-fashioned notions of propriety, I +went the next morning to pay my respects to Mrs. +B., and to look after your cousins,—especially that +witch Gerté, whom her father had requested me to +"keep an eye upon," when placing her under my care +for the journey to the Fair.</p> + +<p>I found the whole fair bevy assembled in the +drawing-room, and in high spirits.</p> + +<p>After the usual inquiries put and answered, +Grace cried out, "Oh! Uncle Hal, I must tell you! +Gen. —— has been here this morning! He was wearing +such a beautiful coat!—his dress last night was +nothing to it!—it fairly took all our hearts by storm!"</p> + +<p>At these words, a merry twinkle, as bright and +harmless as sheet lightning, darted round the circle.</p> + +<p>The master of the house entered at that moment, +and before the conversation he had interrupted was +fairly renewed, invited me into the adjoining dining-room +to "take a mouthful of lunch."</p> + +<p>While my host and I sat at a side-table, sipping +a little excellent old Cognac, with just a dash of ice +water in it (a bad practice, a very bad practice, by +the by, my boys, which I would strenuously counsel +you not to fall into; but an inveterate habit acquired +by an old soldier when no one thought of it being<a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a> +very wrong) the lively chit-chat in the drawing-room +occasionally reached my ears.</p> + +<p>"It was tissue, I am quite sure!" said Miss ——.</p> + +<p>"No matter about the material—the color would +have redeemed anything!" cried Grace.</p> + +<p>"Sea-green!" chimed in the flute notes of another +of the gay junto, "what can equal the General's +<i>verdancy</i>?"</p> + +<p>"What?" (here I recognized the animated voice +of the lady of the mansion); "why, only his <i>mauvais +ton</i>, in 'congratulating' me upon having 'so +many' at my reception for Governor and Mrs. ——, +the other evening, and his equally flattering assurance +that he had not seen so 'brilliant a military +turn-out in a long time'—meaning, of course, his +elegant self! You are mistaken, however, Laura, +about his coat being of <i>tissue</i>, it was <i>lawn</i>, and had +just come home from his <i>lawn-dress</i>, when he put it +on. I distinctly saw the mark of the smoothing-iron +on the cuff, as well as that his wristband was soiled +considerably."</p> + +<p>"He had only had time to 'change' his coat since +he went 'home with the girls in the morning,'" +chimed in some one, "and his hair, I noticed as he +rose to make what he called his '<i>farewell bow of +exit</i>,' was filled with the dust of that dirty ball-room."</p> + +<p>"Which couldn't be brushed out without taking +out the curl, too, I suppose!" This last sally <a name="tn_png_047"></a><!--TN: "eminated" changed to "emanated"-->emanated +I believe, from one of the most amiable, usually, +of the group.</p> + +<p>"Well," said the hostess, with a half-sigh of relief,<a name="Page_48" id="Page_48"></a> +"he seldom inflicts himself upon me! His grand +<i>entrée</i> this morning, in the character of a katy-did, +gotten up <i>à la mode naturelle</i>," (here there was a +general clapping of hands, accompanied by <i>bravos</i> +that would have rejoiced the heart of a prima +donna), "was, no doubt, occasioned by his having +heard some one say that, what vulgar people style a +'<i>party call</i>,' was incumbent upon him after my reception. +What a pity his informant had not also +enlightened him on another point of <i>ettiquetty</i>, as old +Mr. Smith calls it, and so spared me the mortification, +my dears, of presenting to you, as a specimen +of the beaux of ——, and one of the aids-de-camp of +Governor ——, a man making a visit of ceremony in +a <i>bright, pea-green, thin muslin shooting-jacket</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Bulwer, the novelist, when I was last in London, +some two or three years ago—and for aught I know +he still continues the practice—used to appear in +his seat in the English House of Commons one day +in light-colored hair, eye-brows and whiskers, with +an entire suit to correspond; and the next, perhaps, +in black hair, etc., accompanied by a black coat, +neckcloth, and so on throughout the catalogue. A +proof of the admitted <i>eccentricities of genius</i>, I suppose.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>D——, who is now a very respectable veteran +lawyer, and well known in the courts of the Empire<a name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></a> +State, was originally a Green Mountain Boy—tall, a +trifle ungainly, with a laugh that might have shaken +his native hills, rather unmanageable hair, each individual +member of the fraternity, instead of regarding +the true democratic principle, often choosing to +keep "Independence" on its own account, and a +walk that required the whole breadth of an ordinary +side-walk to bring out all its claims to admiration. +Though D—— did not sacrifice to the graces, he +really wrote very clever "Lines;" but his shrewd +native sense taught him that a reputation as a magazine +poet would not have a direct tendency to +increase the number of his clients. So the sometime +devotee of the Muse of Poetry, bravely eschewing +the open use of a talent that, together with his +ever-ready good-humor and quiet Yankee drollery, +had brought him somewhat into favor in society, +despite his natural disadvantages, entered into partnership +with an old practitioner in A——, and bent +himself to his career with sturdy energy of purpose.</p> + +<p>"New Year" coming round again in the good old +Dutch city where D—— had pitched his tent, some +of his friends offered to take him with them in their +round of calls, and introduce him to such of their fair +friends as it was desirable to know; hinting, at the +same time, that this would afford a suitable occasion +for donning a suit of new and fashionable garments.</p> + +<p>On the first of January, therefore, agreeable to +appointment, his broad, pock-marked face—luminous +as a colored lantern outside an oyster-saloon—and +his gait more than usually <i>diffusive</i>, D—— was<a name="Page_50" id="Page_50"></a> +seen coming along from his lodgings, to meet his +companions for the day's expedition, and evidently +with sails full set. It soon became apparent to all +beholders, not only that the grub had been transformed +into a full-fledged butterfly of fashion, but—that +he wore his long, wide, ample-caped, new cloak +<i>wrong side out</i>!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>At the recent Peace Convention in Paris, even +those strenuous adherents to <i>things as they were</i>, the +Turks, wore the usual dress of Europeans and Americans +throughout, with the single exception of the +<i>fez</i>, which, I believe, no adherent of Mahomet will +renounce, except with his religion. Young Charles +P—— told me that Count Orloff's sable-lined <i>talma</i> +was of the most unexceptionable Parisian cut.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>An agreeable young friend of mine, the Rev. Mr. +H., contrives to support a family (Heaven only +knows how!) upon the few hundred dollars a year +that make the usual salary of a country clergyman. +He indulges himself, at rare intervals, in a visit to his +fashionable city relatives, by way of necessary relaxation, +and to brush up a little in matters of taste, literature, +etc. Perhaps, too, he thinks it well, occasionally, +to return, with his wife and children, the long +visits made every summer by a pretty fair representation +of his numerous family circle at the pleasant<a name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></a> +little rectory, where refinement, industry, and the +ingenuity of a practical housekeeper, create a charm +often lacking in more pretentious establishments.</p> + +<p>On one of these important occasions, it was decided +that the handsome young rector should avail himself +of his city jaunt to purchase a new suit of clothes, +his best clerical coat, notwithstanding the most careful +use and the neatest repairing, being no longer +presentable for ceremonious purposes. (I make no +doubt that the compatibility of the contemplated +journey and the new clothes, both in the same year, +was anxiously discussed in family council.)</p> + +<p>As soon as possible after his arrival in town, my +clerical friend broached the all-important subject of +the tailor, to one of his brothers, a youth of unquestionable +authority in such matters, and invoked his +assistance.</p> + +<p>"With all my heart, Will, we'll drop in at my +own place, as we go down this morning; they get +everything up there artistically." "And at artistic +prices, I fear," soliloquized the new candidate for +the honors of the cloth, with a slight quaking at +heart, as a long-cherished plan for adding, without +her previous knowledge, a shawl to the waning +bridal outfit of his self-sacrificing wife, rose before +his mental vision.</p> + +<p>"But, I say, Will," inquired his modish brother, of +our young clergyman, in a tone of good-humored banter, +as they sauntered down Broadway together, after +breakfast, "where did you buy your new <i>chapeau</i>?"</p> + +<p>"At A——, before leaving home"—<a name="Page_52" id="Page_52"></a>—</p> + +<p>"Excuse me, my dear fellow, but it's a nondescript! +It will never do with your new suit, allow +me to say, frankly."</p> + +<p>"But the person of whom I bought it had just +returned from New York, and he assured me it was +the latest fashion! I gave him eight dollars for it, +at any rate."</p> + +<p>"Preposterous!" ejaculated the man of fashion, +in a tone portentous as that which ushered in the +"prodigious" of Dominie Sampson, when astounded +by <i>his</i> discoveries in the mysteries of the toilet. +"It first saw the light in the 'rural districts,' depend +on't!"</p> + +<p>The quizzical glances with which his companion +ever and anon scrutinized the crowning glory of his +neat morning attire, as he had previously thought it, +gradually overpowered the philosophy of my friend,—clergyman +though he was—the admitted Adonis +of his class in college, and the favorite of ladies, old +and young. The church's</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i2">——"favorites are <i>but men</i>.<br></span> +<span class="i0">And who e'er felt the stoic when<br></span> +<span class="i0">First conscious of"——<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">wearing a "shocking bad hat!" The result was, +that the condemned article was exchanged at a fashionable +establishment for one fully meeting the +approbation of the modish critic.</p> + +<p>"What! another new hat?" cried the young wife, +whose quick woman's eye at once caught the <i>je ne<a name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></a> +sais quoi</i>—the air of the thing, as her husband +rejoined her later in the day.</p> + +<p>The gentleman explained;—"And you thought +the other so becoming too, Belle," he added, in a +half-deprecatory tone; "but Chauncey was so +strenuous about it, and I knew he would appeal to +you, and that you would not be satisfied without"——</p> + +<p>"But they allowed you really nothing for the other, +though it was quite new, and certainly a nice hat. +What a pity, now, that you did not travel in your old +one, though it was a little worse for wear, or even in +the cap you bought to fish in. There was Mr. —— in +the same car with us, looking anything but <i>elegant</i>, +I am sure, with the queerest-looking old <a name="tn_png_053"></a><!--TN: Double quotes changed to single quotes around "Kossuth,"-->'Kossuth,' +I believe they are called, on, and the roughest overcoat!"</p> + +<p>"But, you know, Belle, dear, such a dress is not +considered admissible for the clergy."</p> + +<p>"No! well, whatever is sensible and convenient +<i>should</i> be, I am convinced now, if I was not before."</p> + +<p>Our young clergyman, as he turned the still-cherished +plan of the new shawl anxiously in his mind, +a "sadder and a wiser" man than before, determined +never again to buy a new dress hat expressly +to perform a journey in, especially when going +directly from the "rural districts" to a large city; +besides laying up for future use some other collateral +resolutions and reflections of an equally wise +and practical character.</p> + +<p>"Why, Belle," said the "superb" Chauncey to +his fair sister-in-law, drawing her little son nearer to<a name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></a> +him, as he leaned on his mother's lap after dinner, +"this is really a magnificent boy, 'pon-my-word!—you +should take him to 'Bradbrook's' and fit him +up! Would you like a velvet jacket, eh, my fine +fellow?"</p> + +<p>The curly-headed child pointed his dimpled forefinger +towards the pretty garment he was wearing, +and said, timidly, "Pretty new coata, mamma made +for him."</p> + +<p>"I believe," responded the young mother, quietly, +bending her beaming eyes upon the little face lovingly +upturned to hers, "that Willie will have to do +without a velvet jacket for the present; mamma intended +to get one for him in New York, but"——the +sentence was finished mentally with "papa's second +new hat has taken the money." This will reveal the +secretly-cherished plan of the young rector's wife, +with which a faint sketch of a pretty cap to crown +the shining curls of her darling, had dimly mingled, +almost unconsciously to herself, until brought out by +the power of that "tide in the affairs of men"—necessity!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Sitting in the same seat in a railroad car with ex-Chief-Justice +——, than whom there is no more +eminent jurist nor finished gentleman in the land, +discoursing earnestly of old times and new, our conversation +was suddenly interrupted, as we stopped to +feed our iron steed, by the loud salutation of a youth<a name="Page_55" id="Page_55"></a> +who seemed to take more pains than the <i>law</i> requires +under such circumstances, to enunciate the +name of my companion. "Pleasant morning, Judge!—if +I don't intrude" (a glance at me, and no introduction +by the chief-justice), "is this seat unoccupied?" +And down he sat <i>vis-à-vis</i> to us.</p> + +<p>He had the talk pretty much to himself, for a +while. By-and-by, our uninvited guest apologized +for his gloves, half-worn fine black kid. They were +"really too bad; must have taken them up by mistake, +in the hurry of getting off," etc.</p> + +<p>"I always keep an old pair expressly for these +abominably dirty cars, but, I believe, I have forgotten +to put them on this morning," said the venerable +lawyer, in a peculiarly quiet tone, unfolding, as +he spoke, the ample, old-fashioned, travel-worn +camlet cloak, beneath which his arms had hitherto +been crossed, and thus revealing his neat, simple +dress, and the warm, clean lining of his outer garment. +Taking a well-worn pair of soft beaver +gloves from an inside pocket, the judge, with an air +of peculiar deliberation, drew them upon hands, +"small to a fault," as the novels say, and as white +as those myths are supposed to be, and re-adjusted +his arms and cloak with the same deliberation. A +nice observer might note a slight gleam of the well-known +smile, whose expressive sarcasm had so often +withstood professional insolence and ignorance, as +the chief justice turned his head, and cursorily surveyed +his fellow-passengers.</p> + +<p>"Who is that young man, sir?" I inquired, when<a name="Page_56" id="Page_56"></a> +we were, soon after, upon again stopping, relieved +of the presence of this jackanapes.</p> + +<p>"His name is ——," replied the judge. "A +scion of the law, I think now—a son of the ——, +who made a fortune, you may remember, by the +sudden rise of West India molasses, some few years +ago (a pause). I never rate a man by his antecedents, +Colonel, but a little modesty is always suitable +and becoming, in <i>very young persons</i>," added +the chief-justice, somewhat sententiously.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>You will, perhaps, remember the commotion +created by the promulgation of Marcy's edict +respecting the dress to be worn on state occasions, +by our representatives abroad.</p> + +<p>Our accomplished young countryman, Mr. H. S——, +though nominally Secretary of Legation, was virtually +our minister, at St. Cloud, when this order was +published. In simple compliance with his instructions, +the American secretary appeared at a court +dinner in the suit of plain black, prescribed by his +government. The premonitions of a revolution could +scarcely have created more consternation among the +officials of the Tuileries, and even the diplomatic dignitaries +assembled, experienced a sensation. The +Turkish ambassador was surprised out of the usually +imperturbable stoicism of a devout follower of the +mighty prophet of Moslemdom.</p> + +<p>"What are you doing here," he growled, as the +young republican arrested his attention, in lan<a name="Page_57" id="Page_57"></a>guage +more remarkable for Oriental figurativeness +than for Parisian elegance, "a raven among so many +birds of gay plumage?"</p> + +<p>The newspaper writers of the day, commenting +upon this, said that the minister from Venezuela—the +most insignificant government represented, was +most bedizened with gold lace, stars, and trumpery +of every sort. These letters, prepared for home perusal, +were re-published in the Paris papers, and of +course, met the eyes of all the parties alluded to!</p> + +<p>S—— told one of my friends that among the annoyances +to which the whole affair subjected him, was +that of being subsequently constantly thrown in contact +with the various personages with whose names +his own had been, without his previous knowledge, +unceremoniously, associated.</p> + +<p>No doubt, however, his skillful diplomacy carried +him as triumphantly through this difficulty as through +others of vital importance.</p> + +<p>Dining with this polished young diplomate, at the +Tremont in Boston, where we met soon after his return +home, the conversation turned upon the personal +appearance of Louis Napoleon, and from his wire-drawn +moustaches diverged to the subject of beards +in general.</p> + +<p>"The truth is, Col. Lunettes," said Mr. S——, in +French,—which by the way, he both speaks and +writes, <i>as he does his native tongue</i>, with great purity +and propriety, and this to our shame be it said, is +far enough from being generally the case with our +various officials abroad, "the truth is, Col. Lunettes,<a name="Page_58" id="Page_58"></a> +(I detected a just perceptible glance at my furrowed +cheek, which was, however, smooth-shaven as his +own) that <i>a clean face is getting to be the distinctive +mark of a gentleman</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"My dear Miss ——," said I to a charming woman, +whose cordial smile of recognition drew me within the +magic circle of her influence, at a ball, where I had +been for some little time a 'quiet looker-on,' "will +you pardon the temerity of an old friend in inquiring +what induced your chilling reception of the handsome +stranger whom I saw presented to you with +such <i>empressement</i> by our host a little while ago? +If you could have seen the admiration with which +he long regarded you at a distance, 'his eye in a fine +frenzy rolling,'—as he leaned against the—the corner +of the big fiddle, there, while the music was at +supper!—could you have seen this, as others saw it, +and then the look of deep desperation with which +he swallowed a bottle of champagne at a standing, +when he fled from your frowns to the supper-room!—Really, +Miss ——, I have seldom had my sympathies +so excited for a stranger"—</p> + +<p>By this time her ringing laugh stirred the blood +into quicker pulsations through my time-steeled +heart; "Oh, Colonel, Colonel!" cried she, in tones, +mirth-engendering as the silvery call of Dian, goddess +of the dewy morn, (is that poetry, I wonder?) "I see +you are just as delightfully quizzical as during our +Alpine journey together. I have never quite for<a name="Page_59" id="Page_59"></a>given +the Fates for robbing our party of so inimitable +a <i>compagnon de voyage</i>, and me of"—"so +devout an admirer!" I chimed in: "and me of so +devout an admirer," proceeded the lady, with a quick +spirit-flash in her deep violet eyes, "and when we +were just becoming so well acquainted, too! It was +too provoking! Do you remember the amusement we +had from recalling the various characteristic exclamations +of the different members of our party, when +the Italian plains burst upon our view, out-spread +before us in the morning sunlight, after that horrid +night in the shepherd's hut?"</p> + +<p>"If I recollect, it was your avowed slave, 'gentleman +John' as you called him, who shouted, 'O, ye +Gods and little fishes!—nothing bad about that, by +thunder?' That fellow carried the ladies, as he did +everything else, by storm"—</p> + +<p>"No, no, Colonel, not <i>all</i> the ladies; but I was going +to tell you about this 'mysterious stranger,' or 'romantic +stranger'—what <i>sobriquet</i> did you give him? +Suppose we go nearer the door, it is so warm here," +and she twined an arm that threw Powers into a rapture,<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> +confidingly around the support proffered her +by an old soldier, and we gradually escaped from the +crowd (any one of the men would willingly have stillettoed +me, I dare say!) into a cool corner of the hall.</p> + +<p>"I am sorry you thought me rude, colonel," she +began, a tint, soft as the shadow of a crimson rose +flitting over her expressive face.</p> + +<p>I entered a protest.<a name="Page_60" id="Page_60"></a></p> + +<p>"I dare say my manner was peculiar," resumed +my fair companion, "but I fear 'no rule of courtly +grace to measured mood' will ever 'train' my <i>face</i>; +and—the truth is, Colonel, that, though I love and +honor my own countrymen beyond the men of all +other lands, I <i>do</i> wish they would imitate well-bred +foreigners in some respects. I hate coxcombs! I believe +every woman does at heart. Now, here is this +person, Colonel C——, I think, if I heard the name?"</p> + +<p>"Wherefore <i>Colonel</i>, and of what?" thought I, but +I only answered—"Really, I am not able to say."</p> + +<p>"Well, at any rate, I identified the man, beyond +a peradventure, as the same individual who sufficed +for my entertainment during a little journey from +home to G——, the other day. As papa, in his +stately way, you know, committed me to the care +of the conductor, saying that 'Miss ——'s friends +would receive her at G——,' I observed (luckily, my +fastidious father <i>did not</i>) the broad stare with which +a great bearded creature, at a little distance from us, +turned round in his seat and surveyed us. When I +withdrew from the window, from which I had looked +to receive—to say good-bye, again, to papa"—</p> + +<p>I would have given—I think I would have given—my +Lundy-Lane sword, to have occasioned the +momentary quiver in that musical voice, and the +love-light in that half-averted eye! After a scarce +perceptible pause, the lovely narrator proceeded:</p> + +<p>"There was that huge moon-struck face—["<i>sun-struck</i>, +perhaps?" I queried, receiving a slight fan-pass +for my pains]—such a contrast to papa's! star<a name="Page_61" id="Page_61"></a>ing +straight at me, still. I busied myself with a book +behind my veil, and presently knew, without looking, +that the <i>gentleman</i> had gradually returned to +his former position. Now came my turn to scrutinize, +though the 'game was scarcely worth the powder.'"</p> + +<p>"Spoken like the true daughter of a gentleman-sportsman!" +I exclaimed, and this time was rewarded +with an irradiating smile.</p> + +<p>"Well, such a rolling about of that alderman-like +figure, such a buttoning and unbuttoning! But this +was all nothing to his steam-engine industry in the +use of the 'weed.' I turned sick as I observed part +of the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature +hanging over near him. After a while, he sallied +forth, at one of the stopping-places, and soon returned +with—(expressive hue!)—<i>an immense green apple</i>! +It seemed for a time likely to prove the apple of discord, +judging from the hungry glances cast at it by +a long, lank, thinly-clad old man across the car. +But now came the 'tug of war.' It scarce required +my woman's wit to divine the motive that had +prompted the tasteful selection of the alderman's +lunch. A glove was pompously drawn off, and—behold! +a great <i>pâté</i> of a ring on the smallest, I cannot +truthfully say <i>little</i>-finger, set with a huge red +cornelian, that looked for all the world like a cranberry-jam +in a setting of puff-paste! As the big +apple slowly diminished under the greedy eyes of +the venerable spectator of this rich Tantalus-feast, +my heart melted with pity."</p> + +<p>A well-affected look of surprise on the part of her<a name="Page_62" id="Page_62"></a> +auditor, here claimed the attention of the fair +speaker.</p> + +<p>"Don't alarm yourself, Colonel! 'Pity 'tis, 'tis +true,' my compassion was excited <i>only</i> towards the +poor finger that, stout as it looked, must soon be +worn to the bone, if often compelled to do duty at +the speed with which it was worked that day. Imagine +the poor thing stuck straight out with that heavy +stone <a name="tn_png_062"></a><!--TN: "páté" changed to "pâté"--><i>pâté</i> upon it, while the proprietor plied his +hand from his mouth to the car-window <i>behind</i> him, +with the industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat, +professedly laden with little bits of apple-skin, but +really intended—oh, most flattering tribute to my +discriminating powers!—<i>to captivate my fancy, +through my eye</i>!"</p> + +<p>When my amusement had somewhat subsided, +I said to my fair friend:</p> + +<p>"I suppose the doughty alderman finished his +repast, like Jack the Giant-killer, by eating up the +famishing old man who had the insolence to watch +him while breakfasting?"</p> + +<p>"I am happy to be able to say," replied she, "that +the long, lean, lanky representative of our fallen +race, not only escaped being thoroughly masticated +and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window, +but when Jack the Giant-killer, and almost every +one else had gone out of the car, was presented by +a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she happened +not to need."</p> + +<p>"And that benevolent lady was"——</p> + +<p>A movement among the dancers here crowded<a name="Page_63" id="Page_63"></a> +several acquaintances into such close contact with us +that we could not avoid overhearing their conversation.</p> + +<p>"Do you know that large man, wearing so much +beard, Mr. Jerome?"</p> + +<p>"Know him? certainly I do, Miss Blakeman. +That's C——, Col. C——, the rich New York grocer. +He is one of the city aldermen—they talk of him for +the legislature—quite a character, I assure you."</p> + +<p>"He evidently thinks so himself," rejoined one of +the group; "just notice him in that polka! I heard +him telling a lady, a moment ago, that he had not +missed a single set, and wouldn't for anything."</p> + +<p>"They say," pursued a lady, "that he is paying +his addresses to that pretty little Miss S——, who +was so much admired here, last winter; she is an +orphan, I think, and quite an heiress."</p> + +<p>A perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm +that still graced my own, and as I moved away with +my sweet charge, she murmured, in the musical +tongue of the Beautiful Land, as she ever calls Italy, +"the gentle dove for the vulture's mate!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Will that do for this time, boys? Or do you +require that, in imitation of the little Grecian Hunch-back, +a <i>moral</i> shall be appended to each of his narratives, +by your</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Uncle Hal.</span><br></span> + + +<p>P. S.—In accordance with my promise, there +follow the admirable directions and remarks of the<a name="Page_64" id="Page_64"></a> +elegant and obliging friend referred to in my previous +letter. He will, I trust, permit me thus to +tender him, renewedly, my very grateful acknowledgment +of his flattering politeness, and to express +my sense of the important addition made by his +kindness to my unpretending epistles.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> +<div class="letter"> +<p style="text-indent:0em;">"<span class="smcap">My dear Col. Lunettes</span>:</p> + +<p class="firstpara">"I regard myself as highly complimented +that so distinguished a representative of the +<i>ancien régime</i>, as yourself, one so entirely <i>comme il +faut</i>, as all admit, in matters of taste, should esteem +my opinion, even in regard to minor points of etiquette, +as worth his attention.</p> + +<p>"I need scarcely add, dear sir, an assurance of my +conviction of the honor you do me by affording me +a place in your remembrance, and that I make no +doubt your profound knowledge of the world, united +with your unusual opportunities for extensive observation—long +<i>un habitué de belle société</i>, in various +countries, as you have been—will afford a rich treat, +as well as much instruction, to those who may be +favored with the perusal of your proposed <i>Letters</i>. +That he may have the honor to be thus fortunate, is +the hope of, dear sir,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">"Your very respectful<br></span> +<span class="presignature2">"And obedient servant,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3">"—— ——<br></span> +</div> + +<p style="font-size:.8em;margin-bottom:.2em;"><span class="smcap">"Belgravia</span>, <i>Tuesday Morn</i>.,</p> +<p style="font-size:.8em;text-indent:3em;margin-top:.2em;">"<i>May 6th, '56</i>."</p> +</div> +<a name="Page_65" id="Page_65"></a> + +<p><span class="smcap">Gentlemen's Dress.</span>—The subject now to be +treated of, may be divided into several classes:—<i>morning, +promenade</i> or <i>visiting</i>, and <i>evening</i> or +<i>ball</i> dress; which again may be subdivided into +others, such as <i>riding-dress</i>, dress suitable for +<i>bachelors' dinner-parties</i>, or <i>opera</i> (when unaccompanied +by ladies). Besides these again, we have +dresses suitable for <i>fishing</i>, <i>shooting</i>, and <i>yachting</i> +purposes, which, however, scarcely call for, or admit +of, the display of much taste, inasmuch as the occupations +for which such costumes are designed partake +rather of the nature of healthy exercise than +of that quiet and gentlemanly repose necessary to +give full effect to the graces of the more elaborate +"<i>toilette</i>." Military, Naval, and Court dresses may +also be considered out of the scope of the remarks +in this letter, because their being made scrupulously +in accordance with rigid <i>Regulation Rules</i>, leaves no +room for taste, but substitutes the <i>dicta</i> of official +routine.</p> + +<p>To commence our exemplifications with a <i>Wedding-Suit</i>, +which, from the wearer's approximate connection +with the ladies deserves the "<i>pas</i>"—it may be +remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony +is solemnized should determine the character +of the costume, that is to say, whether it should be +morning or evening. In either case, however, general +usage allows (not to say demands), a more<a name="Page_66" id="Page_66"></a> +marked style than is generally worn in morning or +evening usual wear. Should the wedding take place +in the <i>evening</i>, a very elegant costume is, a dark +claret dress-coat, white ribbed-silk, or <i>moire antique</i>, +waistcoat, white silk neckcloth, black trowsers, silk +stockings, and shoes. The lining of the sleeves, also, +of white silk, coming to the extreme edge of the cuff, +imparts a <a name="tn_png_066"></a><!--TN: "singlarly" changed to "singularly"-->singularly light and elegant appearance to +the hand and glove. An equally elegant <i>Morning +Wedding-Dress</i> might consist of a rich, deep-brown +frock-coat; waistcoat of black cashmere, with a small +violet-colored palm-leaf figure; neck-tie of silk, +combining colors of black and cherry, or brown and +deep blue; trowsers of delicate drab, or stone-color; +gloves primrose, or slate-colored kid.</p> + +<p>The usual <i>Evening-Dress</i> is so imperiously insisted +on, that it might be almost classed in the category +of <i>uniforms</i>, being almost invariably composed of +<i>black</i> coat, vest, and trowsers. Two items, however, +in this costume, admit of disquisition amongst "men +who dress," viz., the <i>vest</i> and the <i>tie</i>—both of which +may be either white or black, without any infraction +of the laws of <i>bienseance</i>. This, therefore, must be +settled by the taste of the wearer, who should +remember that black, having the effect of apparently +diminishing a man's size, and white that of +increasing it, it would, therefore, be judicious for a +person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk +by favoring black in both these garments, while he +who is below the average standard could, if not<a name="Page_67" id="Page_67"></a> +actually increase his height or size, at least create +the impression of more generous proportions. I, +however, must confess a decided partiality for a +<i>white neck-tie</i>, at least; because, although subject to +the disadvantage of being <i>de rigueur</i> amongst +waiters and other members of the Yellow Plush +Family, it is, nevertheless, always considered unexceptionable, +at any season, or hour, in any rank, +profession, or capacity.</p> + +<p>A <i>Morning Call</i> should be made in a <i>frock-coat</i>, or +at least one in which this style predominates. It +must, however, be constantly borne in mind that it +is quite impossible to furnish even general rules on +any one of these points that shall prove immutable, +since not only each successive year, but every varying +season produces decided changes in the standard +established by Taste and Fashion.</p> + +<p><i>Bachelors' Dinner-parties</i> are pleasant, social <i>reunions</i>, +at which gentlemen enjoy themselves with +more <i>abandon</i> than would, perhaps, be considered +consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due +to the presence of the "<i>beau sexe</i>;" and, as a natural +consequence, admit of a more <i>négligé</i> style of costume. +Still, however, a certain regard must be had to the +requirements of good society; and as many of these +parties, when they break up, adjourn to the opera, +or theatre, where they are pretty sure to meet ladies +of their acquaintance, a costume half-way between +morning and evening is, by tacit agreement, prescribed; +for instance:—a coat of some dark color<a name="Page_68" id="Page_68"></a> +(generally termed "<i>medley-colored</i>"), cut rounded +over the hips; black cap; inner vest, buttoning +rather high in the breast; dark-grey trowsers, and +black silk neckerchief, or ribbed silk scarf.</p> + +<p>Instead of giving sketches of particular costumes, +it would, perhaps, be better and tend more to +develop the importance of dress, if a few remarks +were made on the general rules which should guide +one in selections for his own wear.</p> + +<p>The <i>four staple colors for men's wear, are black, +blue, brown, and olive</i>. Other colors, such as drab, +grey, mixed, etc., being so far as the principal garments +go, what are termed "fancy colors," should +be very cautiously used.</p> + +<p>As was remarked above, <i>black has the effect of +diminishing size</i>, but it has another more important +effect, which is to test, in the severest way, the wearer's +claims to a <i>distinguished appearance</i>. It is a very +high compliment to any man to tell him that black +becomes him, and it is probably owing to this property +that black is chosen, <i>par excellence</i>, for <i>evening</i> +or <i>ball dress</i>. Men, therefore, of average or ordinary +pretensions to stylish contour, should bear this in +mind, and, when such color is not indispensable, +should be careful how far they depend on their own +intrinsic dignity.</p> + +<p><i>Blue</i>, of almost any shade, becomes a light complexion, +besides being an admirable set-off to black +velvet, which can, in almost all cases, be judiciously +used in the collar, in which case, a <i>lighter<a name="Page_69" id="Page_69"></a> +shade of blue</i> (also becoming such a complexion) +can be worn without <i>killing</i> (as it is technically +termed), the darker shade of the coat—the velvet +harmonizing both.</p> + +<p><i>Brown</i> being what is termed a <i>warm</i> color, is +eminently adapted for fall and winter wear—<i>olive</i> +and <i>dark green</i>, for summer.</p> + +<p>When Beau Brummel was asked what constituted +a well-dressed man, he replied, "<i>Good linen—plenty +of it, and country washing</i>." This, perhaps, is rather +<i>too</i> primitive. The almost equally short opinion of the +French critic is decidedly more comprehensive—"<i>un +homme bien coiffé, et bien chaussé, peut se présenter +partout</i>." Under any circumstances, however, +it may be laid down as immutable, that the <i>extremities</i> +are most important parts, when considered as +objects for dress, and that <i>a well appointed hat, +faultlessly-fitting gloves, and immaculate boots</i>, are +three essentials to a well-dressed man, without +which the otherwise best constituted dress will +appear unfinished.</p> + +<p>Besides the necessity for the greatest care required +in the selection of colors, with regard to their harmonizing +with each other, and their general adaptation +to the complexion or contour of the wearer, +there is another matter of the first importance, +and this is, the <i>cut</i>. Of course, everything should +be sacrificed to <i>perfect ease</i>, as any garment +which pinches, or incommodes the wearer, will +strongly militate against the easy deportment of even<a name="Page_70" id="Page_70"></a> +the most graceful, and tend to give a contracted and +constrained appearance. <i>Every garment, therefore, +should leave the wearer perfectly free and uncontrolled +in every motion</i>; and, having set out with +this proviso, the <i>artiste</i> may proceed to invest his +work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial +graces and touches, which, although scarcely to be +remarked, still impart <i>an air</i> or <i>character</i>, which is +unmistakable, and is expressed in the French word +<i>chique</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Wadding</i>, or <i>stuffing</i>, should be avoided as much +as possible. A little may be judiciously used to +round off the more salient points of an angular +figure, but when it is used for the purpose of creating +an egregiously false impression of superior form, +it is simply <i>snobbish</i>. Some one has called hypocrisy +"the homage which vice pays to virtue." +<i>Wadding is the homage which snobbishness pays to +symmetry!</i></p> + +<p>A well-dressed man will never be the first to +set a new fashion; he will allow others to hazard +the innovation, and decline the questionable honor +of being the first to advertise a <i>novelty</i>. Two lines +of Pope (I believe), admirably illustrate the middle +course:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"<i>Be not the first by whom the new is tried,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Nor yet the last by whom 'tis set aside.</i>"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Besides which he will find it far easier to become +a <i>critic</i> than an <i>author</i>; and as there is sure to be<a name="Page_71" id="Page_71"></a> +a vast number of men who "greatly daring" dress, +he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating +which is worthy of selection or rejection; he will +thus verify the old saw, that "fools make feasts and +wise men eat thereof," and avoid, by means of his +own knowledge of <i>the becoming</i>, the solecisms which +are pretty certain to occur in a number of experiments.</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Trinculo.</span><br></span> +</div> + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Remind me to tell you about that some other time.</p> +</div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_III" id="LETTER_III"></a>LETTER III.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">MANNER.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">In</span> the order of sequence adopted at the +commencement of our correspondence, the subject +of <i>manner</i> comes next in succession.</p> + +<p>It was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most +profound observers of human nature that "<i>Manner +is something to all, and everything to some</i>."</p> + +<p>As indicative of character, which it undoubtedly +is, to a certain extent, it is well worthy the attention +of all youthful aspirants to the honors of the world. +And though, like every other attribute, it should bear +indubitable murks of individuality, care and attention, +before habit has rendered change and improvement +difficult, will enable every man to acquire that +propriety and polish, in this respect, the advantages +of which through life can scarcely be overrated.</p> + +<p>It has been somewhat paradoxically said, that the +fashionable manner of the present day is <i>no manner +at all</i>! which means simply—that the manners of +the best bred people are those that are least obtruded<a name="Page_73" id="Page_73"></a> +upon the notice of others,—those most <i>quiet, natural, +and unassuming</i>.</p> + +<p>There is, however, a possibility of carrying this +modish manner to such an extreme as to make it the +very height of affectation. If Talleyrand's favorite +axiom admits of some qualification, and <i>language</i> is +not <i>always</i> used to "conceal our ideas," then should +<i>manner</i>, which is the natural adjunct that lends +additional expressiveness to words, be in a degree +modified by circumstances—be <i>individualized</i>.</p> + +<p>Every approach to a rude, noisy, boisterous, manner, +is reprehensible, for the obvious reason that it +interferes with the comfort, and, consequently, with +the rights of others; but this is at a wide remove +from the ultra-modishness that requires the total suppression +of every manifestation of natural emotion, +and apparently, aims to convert beings influenced +by the motives, feelings, and principles that constitute +humanity, into mere moving automata!</p> + +<p>In this, as in too many similar matters, Americans +are prone to excess. Because <i>scenes</i> are considered +bad <i>ton</i>, in good society abroad, and because the +warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes +took shape a little more impressingly and noisily +than kindness required, some of our fashionable +imitators of European models move through the +world like resuscitated ghosts, and violate every law +of good feeling in an endeavor to sustain at home +a character for modish <i>nonchalance</i>! Now, take it +as a rule through life, my young friends, that <i>all servile +imitation degenerates into caricature</i>, and let<a name="Page_74" id="Page_74"></a> +your adoption and illustration of every part of your +system of life be modified by circumstances, and +regulated by good sense and manly independence.</p> + +<p>I need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not +so much a thing of forms and ceremonies, as of right +feelings and nicety of perception. The Golden Rule +habitually illustrated in word and action, would produce +the most unexceptionable good breeding—politeness +so cosmopolitan that it would be a passport +to "good society" everywhere.</p> + +<p>One of the most polished and celebrated of American +authors has given us as fine and laconic a definition +of politeness as I remember to have met with—"Self-respect, +and a delicate regard for the rights and +feelings of others."</p> + +<p>The good breeding of a true gentleman is not an +appendage put off and on at the dictate of caprice, +or interest, it is essentially <i>a part of himself</i>—a +constituent of his being, as much as his sense of honesty or +honor, and its requirements are no more forgotten or +violated than those of any other essential attribute of +manhood. You will all remember Sir Philip Sidney's +immortal action in presenting the cup of water +to the dying soldier. This was a spontaneous result +of the habitual self-possession and self-restraint that +form the basis of all true good breeding. It is one of +the most perfect exhibitions on record of the <i>moral +sublime</i>; but it was, also, only a legitimate result of +the <i>instinctive politeness of a Christian gentleman</i>!</p> + +<p>Manner, then, may be regarded as the expression +of inherent qualities, and though it must, necessarily,<a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a> +and should properly, to some extent, at least, vary +with the variations of character, it may readily be +rendered a more correct and effective exponent of +existing characteristics of mind and heart, by judicious +and attentive training.</p> + +<p>While true good breeding must, from its very nature +be, as I have said, in all persons and under every +modification of circumstance substantially the same, +the proper mode of exemplifying it, must, with +equal propriety, be modified by the exercise of +practical good sense and discrimination. Thus, the +laws of convention,—which, as I have before remarked, +is but another name for the rules of politeness, +established and adhered to by well-bred people, +for mutual convenience—though in some respects as +immutable as those of the Medes and Persians, will +always be adapted, by persons of good sense, to the +mutations of circumstance and the inviolable requisitions +of that "higher law," whose vital principle is +"<i>kindness kindly expressed</i>!" Having now established +general principles, let us turn to the consideration +of practical details.</p> + +<p>There is, perhaps, no better test of good manners +afforded by the intercourse of ordinary life, than +that of conduct towards superiors in age or station, +("Young America" seems loth to admit that he has +any superiors, but we will venture to assume these +premises). The general-in-chief of the Revolutionary +Army of America is well known to have always observed +the most punctilious respect towards his +<i>mother</i>, in his personal intercourse with her, as well<a name="Page_76" id="Page_76"></a> +as in every other relation of life. My word for it, +he never spoke of her as the "old woman;" nor +could one of the youthful members of his military +family have alluded, in his hearing, to a parent as +the "governor," or the "old governor," without exciting +the disapproving surprise of Washington and +his co-patriots. And yet our young republic has +known no more high-bred and polished men than +those of that day,—the stately and elegant Hancock, +even when broken by time and disease, a graceful +and punctilious observer of all the ceremonious +courtesies of life; the courtly Carroll, whose benignant +urbanity was the very impersonation of a long +line of old English gentlemen; and the imposing stateliness +of the commander-in-chief, ever observant of +the most minute details of propriety, whether in the +familiar intercourse of daily life, or while conducting +the most momentous affairs of his country. But to +return from this unpremeditated digression. Never +let youthful levity, or the example of others, betray +you into forgetfulness of the claims of your parents +or elders, to a certain deference. Depend upon it, +the preservation of a just self-respect demands this.</p> + +<p>Your historical studies will have furnished you +with evidence of the respect habitually rendered to +superiors by those nations of antiquity most celebrated +for advancement in civilization; and you will +not have failed, also, to remark that nothing more +surely heralded the decay of ancient empires than +degeneracy in this regard.</p> + +<p>Next to the reverence ever due to parents, may<a name="Page_77" id="Page_77"></a> +be ranked that which should be rendered to virtuous +age, irrespective of station or other outward attributes. +I should deem this instinctive with all right-minded +young persons, did I not so often, in the +street, at church, in social life, in public places +generally, observe the manner in which elderly +persons are, apparently, wholly overlooked.</p> + +<p>Here, the universally-applicable <i>law of kindness</i> +claims regard. Those of the pilgrims of earth, +whose feet are descending the narrowing vale that +leads to the dim obscure unpenetrated by mortal +eyes, are easily pained by even the semblance of +indifference or neglect. They are sensitively alive +to every intimation that their places in the busy +arena of active life are already better filled by +others; that they are rather tolerated than essential. +Those who are most worthy of regard are least +likely to be insensible to such influences. Remember, +then, that you should never run the race of life +so "fast" as to encroach upon the established claims +of your predecessors in the course. Nor would the +most prematurely sage young man be entirely unbenefited, +it may be, by availing himself occasionally +of the accumulated experience, erudition, and knowledge +of the world, possessed by many a quiet "old +fogy," whose unassuming manners, modest self-respect, +and pure integrity present a just model to +"Young America," albeit, perchance, too old-fashioned +to be deemed worthy of attention!</p> + +<p>While the general proposition—that manner is, to +a considerable extent <i>character in action</i>, is un<a name="Page_78" id="Page_78"></a>doubtedly +correct, we occasionally see the exact +converse painfully exemplified. It sometimes occurs +that the most amiable persons labor through life +under the disadvantage of a diffident or awkward +manner, which does great injustice to their intrinsic +excellences. And this is but another evidence of +the necessity of the earliest attention to this subject.</p> + +<p>Though no one should be discouraged in an +endeavor to remedy the defects arising from neglect, +in this respect (and, indeed, it may properly be considered +as affording room for ceaseless advancement, +like every other portion of the earthly education +of immortal beings), few persons, perhaps, ever completely +overcome the difficulties arising from inattention +to this important branch of education, while +youthful pliancy renders the formation of habits +comparatively easy.</p> + +<p>The early acquisition of habits of self-possession +and <a name="tn_png_078"></a><!--TN: "self control" changed to "self-control"-->self-control, will furnish the surest basis +for the formation of correct manners. With this +should be united, as far as is practicable, constant +association with well-educated and well-bred persons, +there is no friction like this to produce external +polish, nor can the most elaborate rules furnish an +effectual substitute for the ease that practice alone +secures.</p> + +<p>Lose no opportunity, therefore, for studiously +observing the best <i>living models</i>, not for the purpose +of attempting an undiscriminating imitation of +even the most perfect, but, as an original and gifted +artist derives advantage from studying works of<a name="Page_79" id="Page_79"></a> +genius, by the great masters of art, to avail yourself +of the matured knowledge resulting from +experience.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>But now for an exemplary anecdote or two:—</p> + +<p>"Colonel Lunettes, do you know some gentleman +going to U—— in this train?" inquired my friend +ex-Governor T——, extending his hand to me in +the car-house of one of our western cities. "I wish +to place a very pretty young lady under the care of +some suitable person for a short time, until she +joins a party of friends."</p> + +<p>"Really, my dear sir, I regret that I have just +arrived," returned I; "you tempt me to turn about +and go over the ground again."</p> + +<p>"Uncle T——, there is H—— B—— just getting +out of that car," cried a young lady, approaching us, +with two or three fair companions, "perhaps he is +going on."</p> + +<p>At this moment a young man, in a dress that +might have been that of the roughest back-woodsman, +approached the group.</p> + +<p>He wore a very broad-brimmed, coarse straw hat, +capable of serving the double purpose of umbrella +and <i>chapeau</i>, his hands were incased in strong +gauntlet-gloves, and he carried a large engineer's +field-book under one arm.</p> + +<p>Removing his hat, as he somewhat hesitatingly +advanced, and passing his hand over a beard of +several days' growth, glancing downward, at the<a name="Page_80" id="Page_80"></a> +same time, upon heavy-soled boots, thickly encrusted +with dry mud—</p> + +<p>"Ladies," said he, "I am too dirty to come near +you; I have been surveying in the swamps in this +neighborhood for several days past, camping out, +and jumped upon the cars a few miles back, +bound for my stationary quarters and—the <i>blessings +of civilization</i>!" And, with the color deepening in +his sun-burnt face, he bowed to us all, with a grace +that Count d'Orsay could scarcely have exceeded.</p> + +<p>The youth was very cordially welcomed by his +friends; little Kitty, who is privileged to say anything, +declared she "never saw him look so handsome;" +and, I confess, that even my flinty old heart +was favorably moved towards the young engineer. +I admired the good taste that dictated an explanation +of the soiled condition of his clothes (his thick +linen shirt, however, was <i>clean</i>); not an absurd apology +for not being <i>well-dressed</i>, and I liked his use +of the good, significant Saxon word that most truthfully +described his condition.</p> + +<p>After an exchange of civilities, turning respectfully +to the governor, he said: "Governor T——, can +I be of any service? You seemed to be looking for +some one."</p> + +<p>An explanation of the circumstances resulted in +the resignation of his fair charge to the temporary +care of this same toil-worn, "dirty" young engineer, +by my friend, who is himself one of the most +fastidious and world-polished of men!</p> + +<p>A few days after this trifling adventure, I went, by<a name="Page_81" id="Page_81"></a> +invitation, to pass a day with my friend the ex-governor, +at his beautiful residence a little out of the city.</p> + +<p>Standing near one of the drawing-room windows, +just before dinner, I observed a gentleman alighting +from a carriage, at the entrance of the mansion. I +was struck with his elegant air, as he kissed his hand +to some one who was, like myself, an observer on the +occasion.</p> + +<p>"There is H—— B——!" exclaimed the joyous voice +of pretty Kitty, the niece of my host, and a little +scrutiny, while he was paying his compliments to +the several members of the family, enabled me to +recognize in this graceful stranger the rough-looking +youth I had previously seen at the dépôt. But what +a metamorphosis! He now wore an entirely modish +dinner-dress, exquisitely tasteful in all its appointments; +his coat of the most faultless fit, and boots +that displayed a very small and handsome foot to +admirable advantage. I afterwards noticed, too, +that "camping out" in the "swamps" had not, apparently, +impaired the smoothness of the slender fingers +and carefully-cut nails that came under my observation +while listening, in the course of the evening, to +the rich voice and guitar accompaniment of Mr. B——.</p> + +<p>"Did Mr. B—— come out in a carriage?" inquired +one of the ladies of the family, in a low tone, of my +host, near whom I was standing, when arrangements +were to be made for the return of the guests to town.</p> + +<p>"Certainly he did," answered the governor, "Mr. +B—— is too much of a sybarite to heat himself by +walking out here to dinner, on such a day as this."<a name="Page_82" id="Page_82"></a></p> + +<p>"And too economical, I have no doubt, judging +from his good sense in other respects," I added, "to +spoil a pair of costly dress boots in such service."</p> + +<p>"Mrs. M——, one moment, if you please," said a +voice behind us, and Mrs. M—— (who is the acting +mistress of the mansion) took the arm politely proffered +her, and stepped out upon the portico. Presently +she returned—</p> + +<p>"Uncle T——," whispered she ("excuse me, Col. +Lunettes), John need not get up our carriage; Mr. +B—— has been so polite as to insist upon our sending +the girls home in his, saying that he really prefers to +sit outside, and that the carriage in which he drove +out is to be here in a few minutes."</p> + +<p>"He happened to know that John has to be up +with the lark, about another matter," remarked the +host, "and"——</p> + +<p>"How kind!" returned the lady; "but Mr. B—— does +everything so agreeably that one does not know +which to admire most—the charm of his <i>manner</i>, +or"——</p> + +<p>"The <i>good breeding</i>, from which it springs!" exclaimed +the governor, finishing the eulogy.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Attending a lady from the dinner-table at the St. +Nicholas, in New York, she begged me to wait with +her for a few minutes, near the passage conducting +to the drawing-rooms, saying, playfully, that she +wished to way-lay a gentleman. "I have been all +the morning," she then explained, "trying to meet a<a name="Page_83" id="Page_83"></a> +Russian friend of ours, who is certainly staying here, +though we cannot succeed in seeing him. My husband +charged me, before we parted this morning, as +he was obliged to go out of town for the day, with a +message for our friend, which he said <i>must</i> be delivered +by me in person. Ah, there he is now!" and +she advanced a step towards an elderly gentleman +accompanying a lady.</p> + +<p>I released her arm from mine, of course, and +retired a little; the other lady also simultaneously +withdrawing. I bowed respectfully to her.</p> + +<p>"Have you ever chanced to remark this picture?" +inquired the fair stranger of me, as we stood thus +near each other, turning towards the painting of the +patron saint of the Knickerbockers, which graced the +main staircase of the hotel; "it is very appropriately +selected."</p> + +<p>Nothing could be more unmistakably refined and +high-bred than the bearing of the interlocutor, while +we chatted a moment or two longer.</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon, madam, for depriving you of +your cavalier; nothing but necessity could excuse it"—began +the lady, who had been talking earnestly +in the meanwhile with the Russian, approaching us. +She was at once relieved from making further explanation.</p> + +<p>"Pray don't name it—and allow me to renew my +slight acquaintance with you," offering her hand.</p> + +<p>"With pleasure," returned my fair friend, instantly; +but she looked a little puzzled, despite her +courtesy.<a name="Page_84" id="Page_84"></a></p> + +<p>"I see you do not recollect the weary traveller who +was so much obliged to your politeness in the hotel +in Washington, the other night. The only stranger-lady +(turning to her attendant) I have met in this +country, who has rendered me the slightest civility."</p> + +<p>All this was, of course, quite unintelligible to me, +but later in the evening I had the honor of being +introduced to these strangers, and, incidentally, +received a solution of the mystery.</p> + +<p>While a pleasant party with which I had the good +fortune to be associated, was cozily gathered in one +of the quiet little drawing-rooms of the St. Nicholas, +the conversation turned upon the difference of +manners in different nations. Let me premise a +brief explanation, that you may the better understand +what follows. The Russian gentleman, whom +I had seen in the passage, is Dr. de H——, a distinguished +<i>savant</i>, travelling in the service of his imperial +master, and the lady whom he was attending +from dinner a Frenchwoman of high birth and +breeding. My fair charge is the wife of an officer +of our army, who nearly lost his life in the late Mexican +war, returning home covered alike with wounds +and honors, and with still I don't know how many +bullets in his body, as life-long tokens of his bravery. +His heroic young wife, when she learned that he had +landed at New Orleans, as soon after the conclusion +of peace as his condition enabled him to be conveyed +to the sea-board and make the voyage, set out to join +him at the South, with an infant of only a few weeks +old, and herself in enfeebled health.—They had been<a name="Page_85" id="Page_85"></a> +married but a short time, when Col. V—— was +ordered to the seat of war, and the lady was a belle +and a beauty, of scarce nineteen—the cherished idol +of wealth and affection. These persons, and one or +two others were, with myself, seated, as I have said, +cozily together for a little talk, after dinner.</p> + +<p>Taking advantage of the temporary absence of +Mrs. V——, the Frenchwoman, turning to Dr. de +H——, said: "What a charming person! I must +tell you about my first meeting with her. You know +we are just returned from a little tour at the south +of this country. Well, at Washington, the other +evening we have arrived, my husband and I, +with my little daughter, Lorrette, very tired and +covered with dust, at the hotel. A friend had engaged +apartments for us, two or three days before, but +we were not conducted to them. They led us into a +sort of corridor, where gentlemen and ladies were +walking, in dinner dress, and left us to stand against +the wall for some time. At last Victor told me to be +patient, and he would go and see. I have thought I +should fall down with fatigue and vexation, and poor +little Lorrette leaned against me and was almost +quite asleep. At this moment, a lady and gentleman +who were sitting in a little alcove, which was +in the corridor, observed us, as I saw, though I tried +to turn myself from all. They came immediately to +us. The gentleman brought a light chair in his +hand. 'Madam,' said the gentleman, 'allow me to +offer you a seat; I am surprised that Mr. Willard +has no reception room for travellers.' Before I could<a name="Page_86" id="Page_86"></a> +thank them, properly, the lady said, seeing how Lorrette +had begun to cry, 'Do come and sit over there +in the little recess; there is a larger chair in which +the little girl can lie down until you can get your +rooms. Pray come'—and all this with such a sweet +manner. Seeing that the gentleman was already +looking for another chair to bring to us, I went away +with the lady; saying, however, that I was so sad to +come with her in this dress, and to trouble <a name="tn_png_086"></a><!--TN: Period added after "her"-->her. +When we were in the little alcove, almost by ourselves, +she placed Lorrette on a little couch, and +forced me to sit on the only good chair, saying that +she preferred to stand a little, and so many other +polite, kind words! Then, while the gentleman +talked a little with me, she began to tell Lorrette +that her papa would soon take her to a nice supper, +and made her look, when she was no longer +so tired, at some nice drawings of colored birds that +her friend was showing her when they came to +carry us to them."</p> + +<p>You must picture to yourselves the animated +gestures, the expressive tones, and the slight Gallic +accent that gave double significance to this little +sketch, to form a correct idea of the pleasing effect +produced upon us all by the narration. Observing Mrs. +V—— re-entering the room, the charming Frenchwoman +only added, enthusiastically: "Really these +were persons so agreeable, that I could not forget +them; as I have told you to-day, Dr. de H——, it is +the only stranger American lady who has ever been +polite in our journey."<a name="Page_87" id="Page_87"></a></p> + +<p>"Are the ladies of our country, then, so remiss in +politeness?" said a young American lady present, in +a deprecatory tone.</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon, madam," returned the +foreigner, "the Americans are the most kind-hearted +people in the world, but <i>they do not say it</i>! it is the—<i>manner</i>!"</p> + +<p>"I shall really begin to think," said Mrs. V——, +"that there is some other cause than my being a +brunette for my being so often taken for a foreigner. +I am often asked whether I am from New Orleans, +or of French extraction."</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_087"></a><!--TN: Quote added before "I"-->"I am not surprised," exclaimed Dr. de H——, +"my friend Sir C—— G——, who saw you this +morning, asked me afterwards what country was you +of?"</p> + +<p>"Why, how was that?"</p> + +<p>"He told me he had just given a servant, that +stupid old man in the hall, the house-porter, I +believe you call him, a card, to take to some room, +when you met him, and directed him to go to the +office with a message; but, observing the card in his +hand, and that a gentleman stood there, you immediately +told him to go first with the card and you +would wait for him."</p> + +<p>Here the silvery laugh of Mrs. V—— interrupted +the Russian. "Excuse me," said she, "I remember +it!—that old porter, who always makes a mistake, if it +is possible, has so often annoyed me, that this time I +was determined, as it was a person I much wished +to see, not to lose my visitor through him, so, after<a name="Page_88" id="Page_88"></a> +waiting some time in one of these rooms, I went to +him to inquire, and sent him to the office, when I +found that my poor friend was waiting <i>there</i>, while +I waited <i>here</i>. Observing a gentleman who seemed +already to have required his services, I bade him go +first for him, of course. '<i>Apres vous, madame, je +vous prie</i>,'<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> said he, with the most courtly air;—so +that was Sir C—— G——?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, madam," answered the <i>savant</i>, "but it was +<i>your</i> air that was remarkable! Sir C—— told me +that while you both were waiting there you addressed +some polite remark to him, <i>pour passer le +temps</i>, and that he thought you were not an American +lady, <i>because you spoke to him</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Speaking of <i>not speaking</i>," said I, when the +general amusement had abated, "reminds me of an +amusing little scene that I once witnessed in the +public parlor of a New England tavern, where I +was compelled to wait several hours for a stage-coach. +Presently there entered a bustling, sprightly-looking +little personage, who, after frisking about the +room, apparently upon a tour of inspection, finally +settled herself very comfortably in the large cushioned +rocking-chair—the only one in the room—and +was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound asleep. +It was not long, however, before a noise of some one +entering aroused her, and a tall, gaunt old Yankee +woman, hung round with countless bags, bonnet-boxes, +and nondescript appendages of various sizes<a name="Page_89" id="Page_89"></a> +and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After +slowly relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances +that impeded her progress in life, she turned +to a young man who accompanied her, and said, in a +tone so peculiarly shrill, that it might have been +mistaken, at this day, for a railroad whistle:</p> + +<p>"'Now, <a name="tn_png_089"></a><!--TN: "Johnathan" changed to "Jonathan"-->Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under +your feet while you go for them tooth-ache drops; I +am a'mos' crazy with pain!' laying a hand upon +the affected spot as she spoke; <a name="tn_png_089a"></a><!--TN: Single rather than double quotes used around "and here,"-->'and here,' she +called out, as the door was closing upon her messenger, +'just get my box filled at the same time!' +diving, with her disengaged hand, into the unknown +depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, +and bringing to light a shining black box, of sufficient +size to hold all the jewels of a modern belle, 'I +thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I +don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred +up.'</p> + +<p>"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair +was fairly aroused, and rising, she courteously +offered her seat to the stranger, her accent at once +betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest +of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner +in the group). With a prolonged stare, the old +woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat, +making not the slightest acknowledgment of the +civility she had received. Presently, she began to +groan, rocking herself furiously at the same time. +The former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had +retired to a window, and perched herself in one of<a name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></a> +a long row of high wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. +<a name="tn_png_090"></a><!--TN: Double quotes changed to single quotes before "I" and after "madame,"-->'I fear, madame,' said she, <a name="tn_png_090a"></a><!--TN: Double quotes changed to single quotes before "that" and after "you?"-->'that you +suffare ver' much:—vat can I do for you?' The +representative of Yankeedom might have been a +wooden clock-case for all the response she made to +this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more +furiously than ever might be construed into a reply.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_090b"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "The"-->"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable +to class so anomalous a specimen of humanity, +cautiously retreated.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90c"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "Before"-->"Before I was summoned away, the tooth-ache +drops and the snuff together (both administered in +large doses!) seemed to have gradually produced +the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90d"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "The"-->"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon +the theatre of action.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90e"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "You" and double quotes before "You" and after "madame?" changed to single quotes-->"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' +she asked, with considerable vivacity. A +very slight nod was the only answer.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90f"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "And" and double quotes before "And" and after "com-for-ta-ble?" changed to single quotes-->"'And you feel dis <i>fauteuil</i>, really ver' <i>com-for-ta-ble</i>?' +pursued the little woman, with augmented +energy of voice. Another nod was just discernable.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90g"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "No"-->"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very +ecstasy of impatience with which the pertinacious +questioner now actually <i>screamed</i> out:</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_90h"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "Bien" and after "please!'" Spoken text placed within single quotes-->"'<i>Bien</i>, madame, <i>vil you say so</i>, if you please!'"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I meant to repeat an impressive little story told us<a name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></a> +by my lovely friend, Mrs. V——, before our merry +little party separated that night; but, even were this +letter not already too "long drawn out," I find my +head in very much the condition of that of the old +Yankee woman, whom, I trust, I have immortalized, +and will, therefore, reserve it for another time, hoping +that you will pay me the compliment to recollect +my description of my <i>dramatis personæ</i> until +then.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Meanwhile, here is one other anecdote for you:</p> + +<p>During my usual morning ride, one day lately, I +stopped to breathe my horse on the top of a little +hill, in the suburbs of one of the villages upon the +banks of the Hudson. While enjoying the beauty +of the fine landscape before me, my horse, all on a +sudden, started violently. I presently discovered +the cause of his fright. Some little rascals were at +play in the unenclosed yard of an old building near, +and one of them was throwing lumps of earth, +pieces of broken crockery, rusty sheet-iron, etc., upon +the plank-walk in front. As I turned my head +towards them, a little urchin who was perched upon +a knob of the root of a tree, with his hands upon his +knees, cried out, energetically: "There now, look-a +there! Ain't you a pretty fellow? dirtying up the +walk so, when people are going by." His little +freckled face expressed real concern, as he looked +fixedly up the walk. Glancing in the same direction, +I saw an elegantly-dressed lady carefully<a name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></a> +gathering up her dress, preparatory to encountering +the sharp obstacles in her path, and at once understood +the cause of the reproof I had overheard, and which +I assure you, I have transcribed <i>verbatim</i>, though +the phrase "pretty fellow" may seem incongruous +in the mouth of a dirty little Irish boy. I only hope +the lady—whose gentle smile indicated that she too +understood the scene—was compensated for being so +incommoded, by discerning the <i>inbred politeness</i> of +her little champion.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>As it is your desire that I should deal rather with +practical realities than with generalities or theories, +let us come in my next, without preliminaries, to plain +suggestions, presented somewhat in detail, with the +usual simplicity and frankness of that "plain, blunt +man,"</p> + +<div class="closing"> + +<span class="presignature2">Your affectionate uncle<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Hal.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> After you are served, madam, I beg.</p> +</div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_IV" id="LETTER_IV"></a>LETTER IV.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">MANNER CONTINUED:—PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart" style="text-indent:1.25em;">My Dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">If</span> I rightly remember, I concluded my +last letter to my young correspondents with a promise +of attempting in my next, some <i>practical directions</i> +in regard to Manner. I will, then, commence, at once +premising only in the impressive words of the immortal +senator, who just at present holds so large a +space in the world's eye: "In now opening this great +matter, I am not insensible to the austere demands +of the occasion."</p> + +<p>Important as Manner undoubtedly is, in every relation +of life, the cultivation of an unexceptionable +deportment <i>at home</i>, may, perhaps, be regarded as of +primary consequence, in securing the happiness at +which all aim, though by means,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i2">——"variable as the shade,<br></span> +<span class="i0">By the light, quivering aspen made."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>I think I have already incidentally alluded to the +bad taste, to give it no severer name, so commonly<a name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></a> +exhibited by young persons in this country, in their +conduct towards <i>parents</i>. Let nothing tempt <i>you</i>, I +pray you, into habits so discreditable. Manhood is +never depreciated by any true estimate, when yielding +tribute to the claims of age.—Towards your +<i>father</i> preserve always a deferential manner, mingled +with a certain frankness, indicating that thorough +confidence, that entire understanding of each other, +which is the best guarantee of good sense in both, and +of inestimable value to every young man, blessed with +a right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated +by experience with respect, receive even reproof +without impatience of manner, and hasten to prove +afterwards, that you cherish no resentful remembrance +of what may even have seemed to you too great +severity, or too manifest an assumption of authority. +Heed the counsel of an old man, who "through the +loop-holes of retreat" looks calmly on the busy tide +of life rolling forever onward, and let the sod that +closes over the heart that throbs no more even with +affection and anxiety for you, leave for you only the +pain of parting—not the haunting demon of <i>remorse</i>. +Allow no false pride, no constitutional obstinacy, to +interfere with the better impulses of your nature, in +your intercourse with your father, or to interrupt for +an hour the manly trust that should be between you. +And in the inner temple of <i>home</i>, as well as when +the world looks on, render him reverence due.</p> + +<p>There should be mingled with the habitual deference +and attention that marks your manner to your <i>mother</i>, +the indescribable tenderness and rendering back of<a name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></a> +care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of +her love in earlier days. No other woman should +ever induce you to forget this truest, most disinterested +friend, nor should your manner ever indicate +even momentary indifference to her wishes or her +affection. Permit me again to refer you to the example +of <i>our country's pride</i> in this regard. You will +all remember his marked attention, through life, to +his only parent, and the fact that his first appearance +in public, on a festive occasion, after the triumph of +Yorkstown, was in attendance upon his mother at the +ball given at Fredericksburgh, in celebration of that +event. A fair friend of mine, who has written the +most enthusiastically-appreciative description of this +memorable scene that I remember to have read, characterizes +the manner of Washington as illustrating +the <i>moral sublime</i>, to a degree that filled all beholders +with admiration. But no one needs the examples +of history, or the promptings of friendship, to convince +him of a duty to which the impulses of nature unmistakably +direct him: all that I, for a moment, +suppose you require, is to be reminded that no +thoughtlessness should permit your <i>manner</i> to do +injustice to your feelings, in this sacred relation of +life.</p> + +<p>The familiarity of domestic intercourse should never +degenerate into a rude disregard for the restraints +imposed by refinement, nor an unfeeling indifference +to the feelings of others. With brothers and sisters +even, the sense of equality should be tempered by +habitual self-restraint and courtesy. "No man is<a name="Page_96" id="Page_96"></a> +great to his <i>valet de chambre</i>"—no man grows, by +the superior gifts of nature, or by the power of circumstance, +beyond the genial familiarity of domestic +intercourse. You may be older and wiser than your +<i>brothers</i>, but no prerogatives of birthright, of education, +or of intellect can excuse assumption, or +make amends for the rupture of the natural tie that +is best strengthened by affectionate consideration +and respect.</p> + +<p>To his <i>sisters</i>, every man owes a peculiar obligation +arising from the claim nature gives them to his +protection, as well as to his love and sympathy. Nor +is this relative claim wholly abrogated even by their +being older than he. The attributes and the admitted +rights of our sex give even younger brothers the +privilege,—and such every well constituted man will +consider it,—of assuming towards such relations the +position of a friend, confidant and guardian. And +the manner of <i>a gentleman</i> will always indicate, unmistakably, +the delicacy, the consideration and the +respect he considers due to them. I will not assume +the possibility of your being indifferent to their love +and interest; suffice it to say, that both will be best +deserved and preserved by a careful admingling of +the observances of politeness practised towards other +women, with the playful freedom sanctioned by consanguinity. +The world will give you no substitutes +for the friends nature provides—they are bound to +you by all ties unitedly. Be ever mindful that no +rude touch of yours, sunders or even weakens the tenderest +chords of the heart.<a name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a></p> + +<p>Since</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"modest the manners by Nature bestowed<br></span> +<span class="i0">On Nature's most exquisite child,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">a man's conduct towards his <i>wife</i> should always +indicate respect as well as politeness. No rude +familiarity should outrage the delicacy that veils +femininity, no outward indifference or neglect betoken +disregard of the sacred claims of the woman, +whom, next to his mother, every man is bound in +honor, to distinguish beyond all others, by courteous +observance. If you consider the affection you doubtless +took some pains, originally, to win, worth preserving, +if you think it of any moment to retain the +attributes ascribed to you by the object of that affection, +while you made the endeavor to do full justice +to yourself in the eyes of your <i>mistress</i>,<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> would it be +wise to prefer no further claims to such characteristics +by your manner to your <i>wife</i>? I have never +forgotten the impression made upon me in youth by +an exquisite letter in one of Addison's Spectators, +purporting to be written by an old woman, in regard, +if I remember, to the very point we are now discussing. +It contains, as inclosed to the Solon of polite +laws in that day, a note represented to have been<a name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></a> +written to her, by the husband of the lady, from a +London coffee-house, upon some emergency, which +is the very embodiment of gentle courtesy, and concluding +with a respectful apology for the coarse +paper, and other unseemly appliances of the communication. +"Could you see the withered hand that +indites this, dear Mr. Spectator," says the correspondent +of Addison, "you would be still more impressed +by the gallantry that remains thus unimpaired by +time," or words to that effect. I have not the original +to transcribe from, and the copy in my <i>mental +tablets</i> is a little dimmed by the wear of years. But +though the exact phraseology of the number I allude +to is indistinct, I repeat that I have a thousand times +recalled the substance with the same pure pleasure +and admiration. I have not half done justice to it, +and, indeed, I am almost ashamed to have so poorly +sketched a picture whose beauty you may best appreciate +by personal inspection. No tyro should +attempt a copy of the production of an <i>old master</i>—especially +when the mental magician fails to place +the original before his mind's eye,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Pictured fair, in memory's mystic glass."</p> + +<p class="continue">But if you do not despise such old-fashioned literature +as the writings of the English classic authors—and +certainly, without undue prejudice in their favor, +I may venture, I think, to say, that a knowledge of +the writings of such men as Johnson, Goldsmith, +Burke, and Addison, should make part of the educa<a name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></a>tion +of every gentleman—if you will look up this +elegant essay, and read it for yourselves, I can safely +promise you ample remuneration for your trouble.</p> + +<p>Do not degrade your own ideal by a too minute +scrutiny, nor forget that the shrine of the <i>Lares</i>, though +it may be approached with the simplest offerings, is +desecrated by even a momentary forgetfulness that +its votaries should be</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"<i>Content to dwell in decencies, forever!</i>"</p> +<p class="continue">The chosen friend of your life, the presiding genius +of your home, the mother of your children, then, +not only claims the high place of trust and confidence, +but <i>the proof afforded by manner</i> of the existence +and dominance of these sentiments.</p> + +<p>Many men, with the kindest feelings and the +clearest perceptions of duty, are, from mere inadvertency, +unobservant of the fact that they habitually +give pain to those dependent on them for consideration, +by neglecting those <i>graces of manner</i> that lend +a charm to the most trifling actions. Remember, +while you are forming habits, in this respect, how +sensitively constituted are the gentler sex, how easily +pained, how easily pleased. The more discriminating +and affectionate is woman, the more readily is +she wounded. Like a harp of a thousand strings, +her nature, if rudely approached, is jarred responsively, +while the gentlest touch elicits an harmonious +thrill. The delightful <i>abandon</i> that constitutes one +of the most exquisite enjoyments of home, is not aug<a name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></a>mented, +for a man of true refinement, by a total disregard +of ceremony and self-restraint. Selfishness, ill-humor, +and a spirit of petty tyranny, rest assured, +though their manifestation be confined to home +intercourse, and borne in silence there, will gradually +undermine character and essentially diminish +domestic happiness.</p> + +<p>Earnestly, therefore, do I admonish my youthful +relatives to cultivate a careful observance of the +requisitions of what has been well designated as +"<i>domestic politeness</i>." Confer favors with ready +cheerfulness, or, if necessary, refuse them with an +expression of regret, or a polite explanation. Never +repel solicitations, much less caresses, with impatience, +nor allow your bearing to indicate the reluctant +discharge of a duty that should also be a pleasure. +A smile, an intonation of affection, a glance +of appreciation or acknowledgment—small artillery +all, I grant, my boys, but they will suffice to make a +<i>feu-de-joie</i> in a loving heart, that will, each and +every one of them, cause you to be followed in the +thorny path of daily life by a blessing that will not +harm you; they will secure you a welcome, when, +world-worn, you shall 'homeward plod your weary +way,' worth all the gold you have gathered, and +well rewarding all the toil you have encountered.</p> + +<p>I will only add, in this connection, that manhood +is ennobled by the habitual exercise of delicate forbearance +towards <i>helplessness</i> and <i>dependence</i>, and +that a high test of character is the right <i>use of power</i>. +Those, then, whom nature teaches to look to you for<a name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></a> +affection, as well as for care and protection—your +mother, wife, sisters—should invariably derive from +your <i>manner</i> evidence of the steadfastness of your +interest and regard for them.</p> + +<p>Like most of the aphorisms of the ancients for +subtle wisdom, is the saying, "We should reverence +the presence of children." Fresh from the creating +hand of Deity, they are committed to us. While +yet unstained by the pollutions of the world, should +we not render a certain homage to their pristine +purity and innocence? Should we not hesitate by +exhibitions of such qualities of our nature as are +happily still dormant in them, to force them into precocious +development? The silent <i>teaching of example</i> +tells most effectively upon the young for the +reason that they are insensibly forming in imitation +of the models before them, without the disadvantages +of previous habit, or of diminished impressibility. +It is no light sin, then, either in our manner +towards them, or towards others in their presence, +to obtrude a false standard of propriety upon +their notice. If manner be, as we have assumed, +active manifestation of character, the ductile minds +of these nice observers and ceaseless imitators must +be indeed seriously under its influences. That careful +study of individual peculiarities which paternal +duty imperatively demands, will readily suggest the +proper modification of manner demanded by each +different child in a household. It is said that children +are never mistaken judges of character. Certain +it is, at least, that they instinctively discern their true<a name="Page_102" id="Page_102"></a> +friends, and that of the "Kingdom of Heaven," as by +divine assertion they are—the <i>Law of Love</i>, attempered +in its administration by practical good sense, +is the most effective influence that can be brought +to bear upon them. Permit me to recall to your +remembrance the <i>tenderness</i> that distinguished the +manner of Christ towards little children.</p> + +<p>Pre-supposing as I have done, thus far in this letter, +and as I shall continue to do, throughout our correspondence, +that you regard moral obligation as the +grand incentive to the correct discipline even of +the outer man, arrogating to myself only the office +of the lapidary,—that of endeavoring to polish, not +create, the priceless jewel of <i>principle</i>, I shall make +no apology for the suggestion, that manner should +not be regarded as beneath the attention of a Christian +gentleman, in his intercourse with such inmates +of his household as may from any circumstance be +peculiarly sensitive to indications of negligent observance. +The <i>aged</i>, the <i>infirm</i>, the <i>insignificant</i>, +the <i>dependent</i>; all, in short, who are particularly +afflicted "in mind, body, or estate," are suitable recipients +of the most expressive courtesies of manner.</p> + +<p>Perhaps no single phase of <i>manner at home</i> more +correctly illustrates nice mental and moral perceptions +than the treatment of <i>servants</i> and <i>inferiors</i> +generally. One may be just to the primary obligations +evolved by this relation to others, and yet always +receive the service of fear rather than of affection. +All needless assumption of authority or superiority, +in connection with this position, is indicative<a name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></a> +of inherent vulgarity, and is at as great a remove from +a true standard as is undue familiarity. Never to +manifest pleasure even by a smile, never to make +an acknowledgment in words, of the kindly offices +that money cannot adequately reward, may be very +grand and stately, but such sublime elevation above +one's fellow-creatures raises the heart to rather an +Alpine attitude—to a height at which the <i>milk of +human kindness</i> even, may congeal!</p> + +<p>Always accept voluntary service with the slight +acknowledgment that suffices to indicate your consciousness +of it, nor deem it unworthy of one pilgrim +upon the great highway of life to cheer another +upon whom the toil and burden falls heaviest, by a +smile or a word of encouragement. The language +of request is, as a rule, in better taste than that of +command, and, in most instances, elicits more ready, +as well as cheerful obedience. Scott makes Queen +Elizabeth say, on a momentous occasion, "Sussex, I +entreat; Leicester, I command!" "But," adds the +author, "the entreaty sounded like a command, and +the command was uttered in a tone of entreaty." Can +you make only a lesson in elocution out of this; or +will it also illustrate our present theme?</p> + +<p>Few persons who have not had their attention +called to this subject, have any just conception of the +real benefits that may be conferred upon those +beneath us in station by a <i>pleasant word uttered in +a pleasant tone</i>. Like animals and young children, +uneducated persons are peculiarly susceptible to all +external influences. They are easily amused, easily<a name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></a> +gratified—shall I add, easily <i>satisfied</i>, mentally? The +comparatively vacant mind readily admits an impression +from without; hence, he who "whistles for want +of thought," will whistle more cheerily for the introduction +of an agreeable remembrance, into the unfurnished +"chambers of imagery," and the humble +plodder who relieves us of a portion of the dead +weight that oppresses humanity, will go on his way +rejoicing; ofttimes for many a weary mile, impelled +by a single word of encouragement from +his superior officer in the "Grand Army" of life. +But I hear you say, "Uncle Hal grows military—'the +ruling passion strong' even in letter-writing. +Like the dying Napoleon, his last words will be +'<i>Tête d'Armée!</i>'"—Well, well, boys! pardon an old +man's diffuseness!—his twilight dullness!</p> + +<p>There are occasions when to <i>talk</i> to servants and +other employés, make part of a humane bearing +towards them. To converse with them in relation +to <i>their</i> affairs rather than our own, is the wiser +course, and to mingle a little appropriate instruction +withal, may not be amiss. Remember, too, how +easily undisciplined persons are frightened by an +imperious, or otherwise injudicious, manner on the +part of their superiors, out of the self-possession essential +to their comprehension of our wants and language.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I believe even the American author who has long +concentrated his mental energies in elaborating the<a name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></a> +literary apotheosis of <i>Napoléon le Grand</i>, has not +ascribed to his idol excessive <i>refinement of manner</i>. +His attempts at playfulness always degenerated into +buffoonery, and his habitual bearing towards women, +in whatever relation they stood to him, was unmistakable +evidence of his utter want of nicety of perception +on this point.</p> + +<p>Holding a reception, on one occasion, in a gallery +of the Tuileries for his relatives, his mother was +present, with others of his family. The emperor +proffered his hand to each in turn to kiss. Last of +all, his venerable parent approached him. As +before, he proffered his hand. With an air worthy +of the severe dignity of a matron of early Grecian +days, "Madame Mère" waved it aside, and, extending +her own, said, "You are the king, the emperor, +of all the rest, but you are <i>my son</i>!" Would a man +imbued with</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The fair humanities of old religion"</p> + +<p class="continue">have needed such a rebuke, from such a source, +think you?<a name="tn_png_105"></a><!--TN: Quote removed after "you?"--></p> + +<p>Bonaparte was quite as stringent in his enforcement +of court rules, in regard to dress and all matters +of detail, as Louis XIV. himself, and often quite +as absurd as the "<i>Grand Monarque</i>" in his requisitions.—Abruptly +approaching a high-born lady of the +old <i>régime</i>, one of the members of Josephine's household, +who from illness (and, perhaps, disgust commingled) +had disobeyed an edict commanding <i>full +dress</i> at an early hour on a particular morning,<a name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></a> +as she leaned against a window in this same gallery +of the Tuileries, the First Consul contemptuously +kicked aside her train, at the same time addressing +the wearer in an outburst of coarse vituperation.</p> + +<p>Madame Junot records a characteristic illustration +of Napoleon's unmanly disregard of the constitutional +timidity of his first wife, as well as of his manner +towards her in general.</p> + +<p>As they were about to cross a turbulent stream +upon an insecure-looking bridge, in a carriage, the +Empress expressed a wish to alight. Napoleon forcibly +interfered, but permitted the fair narrator of the +incident, who was in the carriage with them, to do so, +upon her informing him with the <i>naïveté</i> of a true +French-woman, that there was a special reason for +her avoiding a fright! Josephine wept in helpless +terror, even when the ordeal was safely passed. By-and-by, +the whole <i>cortége</i> stopped, and every one +alighted; the imperial tyrant rudely seizing the +empress by the arm, dragged her towards the destination +of the party, in a neighboring wood, saying, +as he urged her forward: "You look ugly when you +cry!"</p> + +<p>One of Napoleon's biographers has said of him +that many passages in his letters to Josephine +were such as no decent Englishman would address +to his 'lady light o' love,' and it is well +known that his earliest intercourse with the proud +daughter of the House of Hapsburg—the shrinking +representative of the hereditary refinement of a +long line of high-bred women—was marked by the<a name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></a> +merest brutality. It was left to a citizen of our +Republic to discover, in the year of our Lord one +thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five, that this man +was the "<i>Washington of France!</i>" and to communicate +the marvellous fact to the present occupant +of the imperial throne of the Great Captain—who +is, by the way, <i>the grandson of the repudiated +Josephine</i>!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Steaming along the Ohio, some years ago, I had +the good-fortune to fall in with the most agreeable +companions, a father and son, Kentuckians, of education +and good-breeding. The father had won high +public honors in his native State, and the son was just +entering upon a career demanding the full exercise +of his fine natural gifts. I was particularly attracted +by the cordial confidence and affection these gentlemen +manifested towards each other, and by the +manly deference rendered by the youth to his +venerable sire.</p> + +<p>A storm drove us all into the cabin, in the evening, +and, while the elder of my two new friends and I +pursued a quiet conversation in one part of the room, +his son joined a group of young men at some distance +from us. Gradually the mirth of those youngsters +became so roisterous as to disturb our talk. +Hot and hotter waged their sport, loud and louder +grew their laughter, until our voices were fairly +drowned, at intervals. More than once, I saw the +punctilious gentleman of the old school glance to<a name="Page_108" id="Page_108"></a>wards +the merry party, of which, by the way, his son +was one of the least boisterous. At length he spoke, +and his clear, calm voice rang like a trumpet-note +through the apartment:</p> + +<p>"Frederick!"—there was an instant lull in the +storm, and the faces of each of the group turned to +us—"make a little less noise, if you please."</p> + +<p>The youth rose immediately and advanced towards +us: "Gentlemen," said he, with a heightened +color and a respectful bow, "I beg your pardon! +I really was not aware of being so rude."</p> + +<p>I said something about the very natural buoyancy +of youthful spirits; but I did <i>not</i> say that this little +scene had the effect upon me that might be produced +by unexpectedly meeting, in the log-hut of a back-woodsman, +with a painting by an old master, representing +some fine incident of classical or chivalrous +history—as, for instance, the youthful Roman restoring +the beautiful virgin prisoner to her friends with +the words, "far be it from Scipio to purchase pleasure +at the expense of virtue!"</p> + +<p>My pleasure in observing the intercourse of these +amiable relatives in some degree prepared me for +the enjoyment in store for the favored guest, who, +at the earnest instance of both father and son, a few +days afterwards, turned aside in his journey to seek +them, <i>at home</i>. It was a scene worthy the taste +and the pen of Washington Irving himself, that +quaint-looking old family mansion,—in the internal +arrangements of which there was just enough of +modern comfort and adornment to typify the soft<a name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></a>ened +conservatism of the host,—and the family +group that welcomed the stranger, with almost +patriarchal simplicity and hospitality. Really it +was a strange episode in busy American life. My +venerable friend sat, indeed, "under the shadow of +his own vine and fig-tree, with none to make him +afraid," reaping the legitimate reward of an honorable, +well-spent life, and beside him the friend who +had kept her place through the heat and burden of +the day, and now shared the serene repose of the +evening of his life. What placid beauty still lingered +in that matron face, what "dignity and love" +marked every action! And the fair daughters of +the house, who, like Desdemona, "ever and anon +would come again and gather up our discourse," in +the intervals of household duty, or social obligation—they +seemed to vie with each other and with their +brother in every thoughtful and graceful observance +towards their parents and towards me, and the noble +boy—for he really was scarcely more, even reckoned +by the estimate of this "fast" age—unspoiled +by the dangerous prerogatives of an only son, manifestly +regarded the bright young band of which he +still made one, with the mingled tenderness and +pride that would ever shield them from</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."</p> + +<p class="continue">These all surrounded my venerable host and hostess, +as they gently and calmly turned their feet towards +the downward path of life, with intertwining hearts<a name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></a> +and hands—like a garland of roses enwreathing +time-worn twin-trees—ever on the watch to lighten +each burden they would fain have wholly assumed, +and with loving care striving to put far off for them +the evil day when the "grasshopper shall be a burden."</p> + +<p>But I essay a vain task when I would picture such +a scene for you, my friends. If I may hope that I +have made <i>a study</i>, from which you will catch a +passing suggestion for future use, in the limning of +your own life-portraits, it is well.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Chancellor K——, who was my life-long friend, +retained, even in the latest years of his lengthened +life, an almost youthful sprightliness of feeling and +manner. His son, himself a learned and distinguished +son of the law, thought no duty more imperative, +even in the prime of his manhood and in mid +career in his honorable profession, than that of devotion +to his father, in his declining years. He fixed +his residence near, or with, his venerable parent, and, +like the son of ancient Priam, long sustained the +failing steps of age. Few things have impressed me +more favorably, in my intercourse with the world, +than this noble self-sacrifice.</p> + +<p>No one unacquainted with my vivacious friend +can appreciate the full expressiveness of his characteristic +remark to me, on an occasion when his +son happened to be the theme of conversation<a name="Page_111" id="Page_111"></a> +between us. "<i>I like that young man amazingly!</i>" +said the chancellor.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I still remember the impression made on me, when +a boy, by meeting, in the streets of my native city, +a stalwart young sailor, arrayed in holiday dress, +and walking with his mother, a little, withered old +woman, in a decent black dress, hanging upon his +arm. How often that powerful form, the impersonation +of youth, health, and physical activity, has +risen up before my mind's eye, in contrast with the +little, tremulous figure he supported with such watchful +care, and upon which such protecting tenderness +breathed from every feature of his honest, weather-embrowned +face.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Bob and Charley grew side by side, like two fine +young saplings in a wood, for some years. After +awhile, however, the brothers were separated. Bob +went to a large city, became a merchant, grew rich, +lived in a fine house, was a Bank Director, and an +Alderman. His younger brother, pursuing a more +modest, but equally manly and elevated career, seldom +met Bob during some years, and then only +briefly at their father's house, when there was a +family gathering at Thanksgiving, or on some other +similar occasion.</p> + +<p>Once, when I chanced to see these young men together, +thus, I remarked that, while the sisters of +each clung round the neck of the unassuming, but<a name="Page_112" id="Page_112"></a> +true-hearted, right-minded Charley, at his coming, +and lost no opportunity of being with him, the repellant +manner of the elder brother held all more or less +aloof, though none failed in polite observance towards +him. Egotistical and pompous, he seemed to regard +those about him as belonging to an inferior race. +As his brother and I sat talking together near a table +upon which were refreshments, he actually had the +rudeness to reach between us for a glass, without the +slightest word or token of apology, with his arm so +near to his brother's face as almost to touch it! +There was more of shame than indignation expressed +in that fine, ingenuous countenance when it again +met my unobstructed gaze, and I thought I detected +a slight tremor in the sentence he uttered next in the +order of our conversation.</p> + +<p>Before my visit that day was at an end, I found +myself exceedingly embarrassed as an unwilling +auditor of a political discussion between Bob and +his father, which grew, at length, into an angry +dispute, little creditable to, at least, the younger of +the two word-combatants.</p> + +<p>As I stood in the hall that night, awaiting my carriage, +I saw Charley advance to the door of the +library, opening near, and knock lightly. The voice +of his aged father bade him enter. Opening the +door, the young man, taking his hat quite off, and +bowing almost reverentially, said only, "I bid you +good night, sir," and quietly closed it again. When +they turned towards me, there was almost a woman's +softness in eyes that would have looked undimmed<a name="Page_113" id="Page_113"></a> +upon the fiercest foe or the deadliest peril.—Think +you the Recording Angel flew up to Heaven's high +Chancery with a testimony of that day's deeds and +words?</p> + +<p>Once, after this, Charley had occasion to visit the +city where Bob resided. Breakfast over, at his hotel, +he sallied forth to call on Bob, at his own house, and +attend, subsequently, to other matters.</p> + +<p>He was shown into an elegant drawing-room, +where the master of the mansion sat reading a newspaper. +Without rising, he offered his hand, coldly, +and before inviting his visitor to sit, took occasion to +say that his wife's having an engagement to spend +the day out of town would prevent his inviting his +brother to dine!</p> + +<p>As Charley descended the steps of his brother's +stately mansion, at the termination of his brief call +that day, he silently registered a vow never again to +cross his threshold, unless impelled by imperative +duty. And yet Bob is not only a rich merchant, an +Alderman, and a Bank Director, but a <i>man of fashion</i>!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>One of the most discriminating and truthful delineators +of life and manners whom we boast among +our native authors, prominent among the characteristic +traits he ascribes to an old English gentleman, +of whom he gives us an exquisite portraiture, is that +of such considerate kindness towards an old servant +as to make him endure his peevishness and obstinacy<a name="Page_114" id="Page_114"></a> +with good humor, and affect to consult and agree +with him, until he gains an important practical point +with "time-honored age."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Illustrative of our subject is one of the anecdotes +recorded of the poet Rogers, in his recently published +life:</p> + +<p>"Mr. Rogers," said the body-servant, who had long +attended him in his helpless years, "<i>we</i> are invited +to dine with Miss Coutts." The italicizing is mine. +Is it not suggestive?</p> + +<p>You remember the rest of the anecdote; Rogers +had the habit, during the latter years of his life, of +writing, when able to use his pen, notes to be dated +and directed as occasion required, in this established +form "Pity me, I am engaged." So, on this occasion, +the careful attendant added: "The <i>pity-me's</i> +are all gone!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Weather-bound during the long, cold winter of +18—, by a protracted snow-storm and a severe cold, +in the house of an old friend, I left my comfortable +private quarters one morning for a little walk up and +down the corridor into which my own apartment and +those of the family opened.</p> + +<p>By and by the active step of my hostess crossed +my sauntering way.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps it may amuse you to come into the <a name="tn_png_114"></a><!--TN: "nur sery" changed to "nursery"-->nur<a name="Page_115" id="Page_115"></a>sery, +a little while, colonel," said she, "it will be a +novelty, at least, to you, to see behind the scenes."</p> + +<p>"I feel myself honored by the permission, I assure +you; the <i>green-room</i> always has an interest for +me!" returned I; and I was soon ensconced in a +large, cushioned-chair, in a cozy corner, near the +open, old-fashioned "franklin" in which blazed a +cheerful wood-fire. The rosy-cheeked juveniles +among whom I found myself vied with each other +in efforts to promote my comfort. One brought her +own little chair, and placed it to support my feet; +another climbed up and stuffed a soft cushion +greatly larger than his own rotund, dumpling of a +figure, between me and the chair-back, assuring me +with a grave shake of the head, in which I saw the +future Esculapius, "it is so nice ven your head do +ache—mamma say so, ven I put him on her always!" +and bright-eyed little Bessie, between whom and me +a very good understanding already existed, crowned +the varied hospitalities of my initiatory visit by +offering me the use of her tiny muff!</p> + +<p>My hostess, though she kept an observant eye upon +us, from her seat by her work-table over against my +arm-chair, had too much tact to interfere with the +proceedings of my ministering cherubs; except to +prevent the possibility of my being annoyed.</p> + +<p>When I had leisure to reconnoitre a little, I discovered, +among the other fixtures in the large, well-lighted, +cheerful-looking apartment, an old woman +with a good-humored face and portly person, seated<a name="Page_116" id="Page_116"></a> +near a window, sewing, with a large, well-stored +basket of unmended linen and hosiery before her.</p> + +<p>Presently, the eldest son, a fine manly boy of some +sixteen years entered, hat and cane in hand. Used, +I suppose, to a jumble of faces and forms, in this +human kaleidoscope, he evidently did not observe the +quiet figure in the high-backed chair. "Mother," +he exclaimed in a tone in which boyish animation +and the utmost affection were singularly united, striding +across the room, like the Colossus of Rhodes, +suddenly endued with powers of locomotion: +"Mother, you are the most beautiful and irresistible +of your beautiful and irresistible sex!" and stooping, +he pressed his full, cherry lips gently upon her +rounded cheek.</p> + +<p>A flash of amusement, mingled with the love-light +in the soft eyes that met those of the boy. He turned +quickly. A scarcely-discernible embarrassment of +manner, and a quick flush in the bright young face, +were all that I had time to note, before he was at my +side with a cordial greeting and a playful welcome +to "Mother's Land of Promise."</p> + +<p>"Land of Nod, say rather," replied the presiding +genius of the scene, pointing to the quiescent +form of little Bessie, who—her curly head pillowed +on her chubby arm—was just losing all consciousness +of the world, upon the rug at her mother's feet.</p> + +<p>"George, what an armful!" said the youth, in a +sort of half undertone, as he tenderly lifted the little +lay figure, and bore it to a crib. "Don't get up,<a name="Page_117" id="Page_117"></a> +mother, I can cover her nicely. I say, mammy [an +arch glance over his shoulder towards the ancient +matron of the sewing-basket], how heavy bread and +milk is, though, eh!"</p> + +<p>"Speaking of bread and milk, here comes lunch," +continued my hero for the nonce, rubbing his hands +energetically, and only desisting to give a table the +dextrous twirl that would bring it near his mother, +and assist the labors of the servant who had entered +with a tray.</p> + +<p>"Will, you immense fellow, take yourself out +of the way! Colonel, permit me to give your +sedan-chair just the slightest impulse forward, and +so save you the trouble of moving. My adorable +mother, allow me the honor of being your Ganymede. +Here we are, all right! Now, let's see what +there is—ham, baked apples, cold roast beef, hot +cocoa—not so bad, 'pon my word. Colonel, I hope +this crispy morning has given you some appetite, +after your hard cold—allow me"—</p> + +<p>"Mammy fust," here interposed little Will, authoritatively, +"<a name="tn_png_117"></a><!--TN: Single quote added before "cause"-->'cause she older dan us!" and, carefully +holding the heaped-up plate his mother placed +in both hands, he deliberately adventured an overland +journey to the distant object of his affectionate +solicitude.</p> + +<p>At this juncture, it was discovered that the servant-man +who brought up the tray, had forgotten the +sugar, and a young nursery-maid was dispatched for +it. Upon her return she contrived, by some awkwardness +in closing the door, to spill the whole result<a name="Page_118" id="Page_118"></a> +of her mission to the pantry upon the floor. Her arms +dropped by her sides, as if suddenly paralyzed, and +I noticed a remarkable variety in the shade of her +broad Irish physiognomy.</p> + +<p>"There is no great harm done, Biddy," said my +hostess, immediately, in a peculiarly quiet, gentle +voice, "just step down to John for another bowlful. +While poor Biddy is collecting her scattered +senses on the stairs, my son, will you kindly assist +Willie in picking up the most noticeable lumps?—put +them in this saucer, my dear. She is just learning, +you know and—she would not cross that Rubicon as +bravely as the classic hero you were reading of last +night."</p> + +<p>"While we are so literary, mother—what is it +about the dolphin? If I remember rightly Bid was +a pretty good exemplification"——</p> + +<p>"Hush!—I am glad you thought to bring up +more apples, Biddy. Colonel, here is the most +tempting spitzenberg—so good for a cold, too. Take +this to mammy will you, Biddy? The one I sent +you before, was not so nice as these, mammy—your +favorite kind, you know."</p> + +<p>Amused with the new scene in which I found +myself, I accepted the assurance of the fair <i>home +mother</i>, as the Germans have it, that I was not in +the way, and lingered a little longer.</p> + +<p>By and by, John came up to tell his mistress that +there was an old man at the door with a basket of +little things to sell, and that he had sent a box of +sealing-wax for her to look at.<a name="Page_119" id="Page_119"></a></p> + +<p>"Poo' man! poo' man?" said little Will, running +up to my knee, with such a sorrowful look in his innocent +face—"an' it so-o-o col'," he added, catching +his mother's words, as if by instinct.</p> + +<p>"Take him down the money, John," I overheard, +in the intervals between the discourse of my juvenile +instructor, "and this cup of chocolate—it will warm +him. Ask him to sit by the hall stove, while he +drinks it." Nothing was said about the exceedingly +portly brace of sandwiches that were manufactured +by the busiest of fingers, and which, through the +golden veil of Willie's light curls, I saw snugly tucked +in, on either side of the saucer.</p> + +<p>"Now, young ladies," continued my amiable +friend, addressing a bevy of her rosy-cheeked young +nieces, who had just before entered the room, "here +is a stick of fancy-colored wax, for each of us—make +your own choice. Luckily there is a red stick for +Col. Lunettes" (a half deprecatory glance at me), +"the only color gentlemen use. And," as she +received the box again—"there is some for mammy +and me—we are in partnership, you know, mammy!"</p> + +<p>A pleased look from the centre of the wide cap-frills +by the window, was the only response to this +appeal; but I had repeatedly observed that, despite +her industry, mammy's huge spectacles took careful +cognizance of the various proceedings around her.</p> + +<p>As I was about, for very shame, to beat a retreat, +a cheery—"good morning, Colonel, I tapped at your +door, as I came up, and thought you were napping +it," arrested my intended departure. "So wifie has<a name="Page_120" id="Page_120"></a> +coaxed you in here! Just like her! She thinks +she can take the best care of you with"—</p> + +<p>"With the rest of the children!" I interrupted.</p> + +<p>"My <i>loving spou</i>," as Bessie says, when she recites +John Gilpin, "may I trouble you to tie my cravat?" +And with that important article of attire in his hand, +my friend knelt upon a low foot-stool, before his +household divinity.</p> + +<p>"Thompson," said I, "I always knew you were one +of the luckiest fellows in the whole world; but may +I ask—just as a point of scientific inquiry—whether +that office is always performed for you,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">'One fair spirit for your <a name="tn_png_120"></a><!--TN: Double quote added after "minister?'"-->minister?'"</p> + +<p>"Not a bit of it! No indeed, 'pon my word! +only when I go to a dinner, as to-day—or to church, +or—I say, Will, you unmitigated rogue, how dare +you! you'll spoil my cravat—<a name="tn_png_120a"></a><!--TN: "dont" changed to "don't"-->don't you see mamma +is just tying it!"</p> + +<p>The little fellow thus objurgated, his eyes scintillating +with mirth, now fairly astride of his father's +shoulders, clung tenaciously to his prize, and petitioned +for a ride in his familiar seat.</p> + +<p>Resorting to stratagem, where force would ill +apply, the father, rising with a "thank you, dear +wifie," retired backward towards a wide bed, and, +by a dextrous movement, suddenly landed his +youthful captor in a heap in the middle.</p> + +<p>To lose no time, the brave boy, "conquered, but +not subdued," made the best use of his lungs, while<a name="Page_121" id="Page_121"></a> +reducing his arms and legs to order, and Bessie, +opening her beaming eyes, at this outcry, stretched +out her arms to aid her pathetic appeal to papa to +"p'ay one little hos" with her, "<i>only but one</i>!"</p> + +<p>Evidently fearful of being out-generalled, the invader +beat a rapid retreat from the enemy's camp, with +the words "thank you, love, I believe the little rascal +didn't tumble it, though I came within an +ace, like a real alderman, of <i>dying of a dinner</i>—before +it was eaten!"</p> + +<p>After this initiatory visit to the nursery of my fair +friend, Mrs. Thompson, I was allowed to come and +go at my own pleasure, during the remainder of my +visit beneath her hospitable roof, and I found myself +so interested and amused by what I witnessed there, +as often to leave the solitude of my own apartment, +though surrounded there by every possible "aid and +appliance" of comfort and enjoyment that refinement +and courtesy could supply, to learn the most +beautiful lessons of practical wisdom and goodness +from the most unpretending of teachers.</p> + +<p>One morning when the <i>habitué</i> had sought his +accustomed post of observation, a young lady presented +herself at the door, and seeing me, was about +to retreat with something about its being very early +for a visit, when Mrs. Thompson recalled her with a +"Come in, my dear, and let me have the pleasure of +presenting you to Colonel Lunettes, the friend of +whom you have heard us all speak so often."</p> + +<p>After the usual courtesies, this lovely earth-angel,<a name="Page_122" id="Page_122"></a> +with some hesitation, and drawing her chair nearer +her friend, explained her errand.</p> + +<p>Making a little screen of a cherub-head, as was +my wont, I regaled myself unobserved, with the +music of sweet voices and the study of pretty faces. +I caught—"my old drawing-teacher"—"her husband +was a brute in their best days"—"this long, +hard winter"—"not even a carpet"—"the poor +child on a wooden-bottomed chair, with a little dirty +pillow behind her head, and so emaciated!"—here +there was a very perceptible quiver in the low +tones, followed by a little choking sort of pause.</p> + +<p>"I am really grateful to you for coming—I have +been unusually occupied lately by the baby's illness +and other duties—the weather has given me more +than one twinge of conscience"—this accompanied +by a quiet transfer from one purse to another, and +then I heard, as the two ladies bent over the crib of +the sleeping infant—"is there a stout boy among +the children? There are the barrels of pork and +beef, always ready in the cellar—each good and +wholesome of their kind—husband always has them +brought from the farm on purpose to give away; and +we have abundance of fine potatoes—John could +not readily find the place, and really, just now, he +is pretty busy; still, perhaps, they have the natural +pride of better days—if you think it well, I will try +to send"—the gentle ministers of mercy left the +room together, and I heard no more.</p> + +<p>Presently, the youth of whom I have before<a name="Page_123" id="Page_123"></a> +spoken, still at home enjoying his holiday's college +vacation, joined me, and, between the exercises of an +<a name="tn_png_123"></a><!--TN: "extertaining" changed to "entertaining"--> +entertaining gymnastic exhibition, in which he and +Willie were the chief performers, regaled me with +humorous sketches of college adventures, anecdotes +of the professors, etc., in the details of some of which +I think he had his quiet old nurse in his mind's eye, +as well as his father's guest.</p> + +<p>When Mrs. Thompson resumed her accustomed +seat at her business-table, as it might well be called, +my agreeable young entertainer slid away from the +group about the fire, and was soon snugged down, in +his own favorite fashion, with his legs comfortably +crossed over the top of the chair sustaining mammy's +implements, cheek-by-jowl with the venerable genius +of the sewing-basket, dipping into a newspaper, and +chatting, at intervals, with his humble friend. Once +in a while I caught a sentence like this:</p> + +<p>"I say, mammy, you can't begin to think how glad +I am you are getting down to my shirts! Such work +as they make washing for a fellow at college! My +black washerwoman (and such a beauty as she is—such +a little rosebud of a mouth!) pretends to fasten +the loose buttons—now, there is a specimen of her +performances—just look! The real truth is, Mrs. +Welch, that mother and you are the only women I +know of who can sew on a button worth a pin—just +the only two, by George! Now, there's Pierre de +Carradeaux, one of our young fellows down there—his +friends all live in Hayti, or some other unknown +and uninhabitable region, you know, over the sea<a name="Page_124" id="Page_124"></a>—I +wish you could see his clothes! The way they +mend at the tailors! But the darns in his stockings +are the funniest. He rooms with me, and so I hear +him talking to himself, in French. I am afraid he +swears, sometimes—but the way he fares is enough +to make a saint swear!" And then followed a detail +that caused mammy to wipe her eyes in sympathy +with this strange phase of human woe, in alternation +with an occasional exclamation of amusement—like, +"You'll surely be the death of me, Master +Sidney!" apparently forced spasmodically from her +lips, despite the self-imposed taciturnity which, I +shrewdly suspected, my presence created.</p> + +<p>"Mother, my revered maternal <a name="tn_png_124"></a><!--TN: "primative" changed to "primitive"-->primitive, may I +read you this anecdote? Colonel, will you allow +me?"—a respectful glance at the book in my hand. +And squeezing himself in from behind, by some +utterly inconceivable india-rubber pliancy, between +the fire and his much-enduring parent, the tall form +of the stripling slowly subsided until I could discern +nothing but a mass of wavy black hair reposing +amid the soft folds of his mother's morning-gown, +and a bit of his newspaper. Thus disposed, apparently +to the entire satisfaction of all concerned, he +read:</p> + +<p>"Once, while the celebrated John Kemble, the +renowned actor and acute critic, was still seated at +the dinner-table of an English nobleman, with whom +he had been dining, a servant announced that Mrs. +Kemble awaited her husband in a carriage at the +<a name="tn_png_124a"></a><!--TN: Period added after "door"-->door. Some time elapsed, and the impersonator of<a name="Page_125" id="Page_125"></a> +Shakspeare's mighty creations remained immovable. +At length the servant, re-entering, <a name="tn_png_125"></a><!--TN: Single dot replaced by colon after "said"-->said: 'Mrs. Kemble +bids me say, sir, that she is afraid of getting the +<i>rheumatiz</i>.' 'Add <i>ism</i>,' replied the imperturbable +critic of language, and quietly continued his discourse +with his host."</p> + +<p>"If I should ever be compelled to marry—which, +of course, I never shall unless you disinherit me, +mother, or mammy insists upon leaving us to keep +house for that handsome widower, in the long snuff +overcoat—[though the respectable female thus +alluded to did not even glance up from her stitching, +I plainly marked a little nod of virtuous defiance, +and a fluttering in the crimpings of the ample cap-border, +that plainly expressed desperation to the +hopes of the widower aforesaid]—but if fate <i>should</i> +decree my 'attaining knowledge under difficulties,' +upon this subject, I hope I'll be a little too decent to +keep my wife sitting out doors in a London fog (I +shall make a bridal tour to Europe, of course), while +I am imbibing, even with a 'nobleman.' Speaking +of the tyranny of fate, I am, most reluctantly, compelled +to deprive you of my refreshing conversation, +my dear and excellent mother. If my dilapidated +linen is restored to its virgin integrity: in other +words, if my shirt is done, I propose retiring to the +deepest shades of private life, and getting myself up, +without the slightest consideration for the financial +affairs of my honored masculine progenitor, for a +morning call upon ——, the fortunate youthful<a name="Page_126" id="Page_126"></a> +beauty I, at present, honor with my particular adoration." +So saying, Sir Hopeful slowly emerged +from his 'loop-hole of retreat,' and making a profound +obeisance to his guardian spirit, and another +to me, a shade less lowly, he took himself off, with +his linen over his arm, and a grand parting flourish at +the door, with his hat upon his walking-stick, for the +especial benefit of his little brother, which elicited +a shout of unmingled admiration from the juvenile +spectators that need not have been despised by Herr +Alexander himself.</p> + +<p>During dinner that day, as the varied and most +bountiful course of pastry, etc., was about to be +removed, young Sidney said:</p> + +<p>"Mother, allow me to relieve you of the largest +half of that solitary-looking piece of mince-pie. I +am sorry I cannot afford to take the whole of it +under my protecting care."</p> + +<p>"My dear son," replied my hostess, pleasantly, +"let me suggest the attractions of variety. You +have already done your <i>devoir</i> to this pie. Your +father pronounces the cocoanut excellent"—and +then, as if in reply to the look of surprise that met +her good-humored sally, she added, in a tone meant +only for the ears of the youth, "this happens to be +the last, and mammy eats no other, you remember."</p> + +<p>"No great matter, either; to-morrow will be baking-day. +Now I know why you took none yourself, +mother," answered Sidney, cheerfully, in the same +"aside" manner; and the placid smile on the hospi<a name="Page_127" id="Page_127"></a>table +face of the 'home-mother' alone acknowledged +her recognition of the ascription of self-denial +to her; for it is not occasionally, but always, that</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"In the clear heaven of her delightful eye,<br></span> +<span class="i0">An angel guard of loves and graces lie."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Adieu!<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Uncle Hal.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> I shall take the liberty to use the word "<i>mistress</i>," throughout +these letters, in the sense appropriated to it by Addison, Johnson, and +other English classic authors. <i>Sweetheart</i> is too old-fashioned. +"<i>Lady-love</i>" suits the style of my fashionable nieces, better than +mine. <i>Mistress</i> is an authorized Saxon word, of well-defined meaning, +though, like some others, perverted to a bad use, at times.</p></div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_V" id="LETTER_V"></a>LETTER V.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">MANNER—PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">Though</span> good breeding is always and +everywhere essentially the same, there are phases of +daily life, especially demanding its exhibition. +<i>Manner in the street</i> is one of these.</p> + +<p>Even in hours most exclusively devoted to business, +do not allow yourself to hurry along with a +clouded, absent face and bent head, as if you forever +felt the foot of the earth-god on your neck! Carry +an erect and open brow into the very midst of the +heat and burden of the day. Take time to see your +friends, as they cross you in the busy thoroughfares +of life and, at least by a passing smile or a gesture +of recognition, give token that you are not resolved +into a mere money-making machine, and both will +be better for this fleeting manifestation of the inner +being.</p> + +<p>During business hours and in crowded business-streets +no man should ever stop another, whom he +knows to be necessarily constantly occupied at such +times, except upon a matter of urgent need, and then<a name="Page_129" id="Page_129"></a> +if he alone is to be benefited by the detention, he +should briefly apologize and state his errand in as +few words as possible.</p> + +<p>But the habit of a cheerful tone of voice, a cordial +smile, and friendly grasp of the hand, when +meeting those with whom one is associated in social +life, is not to be regarded as unimportant.</p> + +<p>If you do not intend to stop, when meeting a gentleman +friend, recognize him as you approach, by +a smile, and touching your hat salute him audibly +with—"Good morning, sir," or "I hope you are well, +sir," or (more familiarly), "Ah, Charley!—good +morning to you." But don't say, "How d' ye do, +sir," when you cannot expect to learn, nor call back +as you pass, something that will cause him to linger, +uncertain what you say.</p> + +<p>If you wish to stop a moment, especially in a +thoroughfare, retain the hand you take, while you retire +a little out of the human current; and never fall +into the absurdity of attempting to draw a tight or +moistened glove while another waits the slow <a name="tn_png_129"></a><!--TN: Period added after "process"-->process. +It is better to offer the gloved hand as a rule, without +apology, in the street.</p> + +<p>If you are compelled to detain a friend, when he +is walking with a stranger, briefly but politely +apologize to the stranger, and keep no one "in durance +vile" longer than absolute necessity requires. +When thus circumstanced yourself, respond cheerfully +and courteously to the apologetic phrase offered, +and, drawing a little aside, occupy yourself with anything +beside the private conversation that interrupts<a name="Page_130" id="Page_130"></a> +your walk. Sometimes circumstances render it +decorous to pass on with some courteous phrase, to +step into some neighboring bookseller's, etc., or to +make a rapid appointment for a re-union. Cultivate +the quick discernment, the ready tact, that will engender +<i>ease of manner</i> under those and similar circumstances +requiring prompt action.</p> + +<p>Never leave a friend suddenly in the street, either +to join another, or for any other reason, without an +apology; the briefest phrase, expressed in a <i>cordial +tone</i>, will suffice, in an emergency.</p> + +<p>Upon passing servants, or other inferiors in station, +whom you wish to recognize, in the street, it is a good +practice, without bowing or touching the hat, to salute +them in a kindly voice.</p> + +<p>When you meet a gentleman whom you know, +walking with one or more ladies, with whom you are +not acquainted, bow with grave respect to them also.</p> + +<p>Politeness requires that upon meeting ladies and +gentlemen together, with both of whom one is acquainted, +that one should lift the hat as he approaches +them, and bowing first to the ladies, include the gentleman +in a sweeping motion, or a succeeding bow, +as the case permits. Should you stop, speak first to +the lady, but do not offer to shake hands with a +lady in full morning costume, should your glove +be dark-colored or your hand uncovered. Again lift +your hat to each, in succession of age or rank, as a +substitute for this dubious civility, with some playful +expression, as "I am sorry my glove is not quite +fresh, Mrs. ——, but you need no assurance of my<a name="Page_131" id="Page_131"></a> +being always the most devoted of your friends" or +"admirers," or "Really, Miss ——, you are so beautifully +dressed, and looking so charmingly, that I +dare not venture too near!" And as you part, again +take your hat quite off, letting the party <i>pass you</i>, +and on the wall side of the street, if that be practicable.</p> + +<p>In the street with other men, carefully give that +precedence to superior age or station which is so +becoming in the young, by taking the outer side of +the pavement, or that nearer the counter current, +as circumstances may make most polite. When you +give, or have an arm, carefully avoid all erratic movements, +and <i>keep step</i>, like a well-trained soldier!</p> + +<p>Towards <i>ladies</i>, in the streets, the most punctilious +observance of politeness is due. Walking with them, +one should, of course, assume the relative position +best adapted to protect them from inconvenience or +danger, and carefully note and relieve them from the +approach of either. In attending them into a store, +&c., always give them precedence, holding the door +open from without, if practicable. If compelled to +pass before them, to attend to this courtesy, say, +"allow me," or "with your permission," etc. Meeting +ladies, the hat should be taken off as you bow, +and replaced when you have passed, or, if you +pause to address them, politely raised again as you +quit them.</p> + +<p>When you are stopped by a lady friend in the +street, at once place yourself so as best to shield +her from the throng, if you are in a crowd, or from<a name="Page_132" id="Page_132"></a> +passing vehicles, etc., and never by your manner indicate +either surprise or embarrassment upon such an +occasion. Allow <i>her</i> to terminate the interview, +and raise your hat quite off as you take leave of her.</p> + +<p>When a stranger lady addresses an inquiry to you +in the street, or when you restore something she +has inadvertently dropped, touch your hat ceremoniously, +and with some phrase or <i>accent</i> of respect, +add grace to a civility.</p> + +<p>If you have occasion to speak more than a word +or two to a lady whom you may meet in walking, +turn and accompany her while you say what you +wish, and, taking off your hat, when you withdraw, +express your regret at losing the further enjoyment +of her society, or the like.</p> + +<p>If you wish to join a lady whom you see before you, +be careful in hurrying forward not to incommode her +(or others, indeed), and do not speak so hurriedly, +or loudly, as to startle her, or arrest attention, and +should you have only a slight acquaintance with her, +say, as you assume a position at her side, "With +your permission, madam, I will attend you," or +"Give me leave to join your walk, Miss ——" etc.</p> + +<p>Of course, no well-bred man ever risks the possibility +of intrusion in this way, or ever speaks first +to a lady to whom he has only had a passing introduction. +In the latter case, you look at a lady as +you advance towards her, and await her recognition.</p> + +<p>Speaking of an intrusion, you should be well assured +that you will not make an <i>awkward third</i> before +you venture to attach yourself to a lady and<a name="Page_133" id="Page_133"></a> +gentleman walking together, though you may even +know them very well; and the same rule holds good +in a picture-gallery, rococo-shop, or elsewhere, when +two persons, or a party, sit or walk together.</p> + +<p>Every man is bound by the laws of courtesy, to note +any street accident that imperils ladies, and at once +to hasten to render such service as the occasion requires. +Promptitude and self-possession may do good +service to humanity and the fair, at such a juncture.</p> + +<p>Should you observe ladies whom you know, unattended +by a gentleman, alighting from or entering a +carriage, especially if there is no footman, and the +driver maintains his seat, at once advance, hold the +door open, and offer your hand, or protect a dress +from the wheel, or the like, and bowing, pass on, all +needed service rendered; or, if more familiarity and +your own wish sanction it, accompany them where +they may chance to be entering.</p> + +<p>No general rule can be laid down respecting offering +the arm to ladies in the street. Where persons +are known and reside habitually, local custom will +usually be the best guide. At night, the arm should +always be tendered, and so in ascending the multiplied +steps of a public building, etc., for equally +obvious reasons. For similar cause, you go before +ladies into church, into a crowded concert-room, etc., +wherever, in short, they are best aided in securing +seats, and escaping jostling, by this precedence of +them. When attending a stranger lady, in visiting the +noted places of your own city, or the like, and when +one of a party for a long walk, or of travellers, it may<a name="Page_134" id="Page_134"></a> +often be an imperative civility to proffer the arm. +To relatives, or elderly ladies, this is always a proper +courtesy, as it is to every woman, when you can thus +most effectually secure her safety or her comfort.</p> + +<p>Do not forget, when walking with elderly people, +or ladies, to moderate the headlong speed of your +usual step.</p> + +<p>I will here enter my most emphatic protest against +a practice of which ladies so justly complain,—the +too-frequent rudeness of men in stationing themselves +at the entrance of churches, concert-rooms, +opera houses, etc., for the express purpose, apparently, +of staring every modest woman who may +chance to enter, out of countenance. No one possessed +of true good-breeding will indulge in a +practice so at variance with propriety. If occasion +demands your thus remaining stationary upon the +steps or in the portico of a public edifice, make +room, at once, for ladies who may be entering, and +avoid any appearance of curiosity regarding them. +A similar course is suitable when occupying a place +upon the steps, or at the windows of a pump-room +at a watering-place, or of a hotel. Carefully avoid +all semblance of staring at ladies passing in the +street, alighting from a carriage, etc., and make no +comment, even of a complimentary nature, in a voice +that can possibly reach their ears. So, when walking +in the street, if beauty or grace attract your +attention, let your regard be respectful, and, even +then, not too fixed. An audible comment or exclamation, +addressed to a companion, a laugh, a fami<a name="Page_135" id="Page_135"></a>liar +stare, are each and all, when any stranger, and +more especially a <i>woman</i>, is the subject of them, +unhandsome in the extreme.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Breakfasting one morning, at West Point, with an +agreeable Portuguese, we chatted for some time over +the newspapers and our coffee, as we sat within view +of one of the most beautiful landscapes it has ever +been my fortune to behold. At length our <i>un-American</i> +indulgence in this respect, became the +theme of conversation between us.</p> + +<p>"Pardon me," said the elegant foreigner, "but +though the Americans are very kind—a very +pleasant people, they do not take enough of time for +these things, at all. They do not only eat in a +hurry, but they even <i>pass their friends</i> in the street, +sometimes, <i>without speaking to them</i>! I remember +last winter, in Philadelphia, where I was some +months, I met one day, in Chestnut street, a gentleman +whom I knew very well, and he passed me +without speaking. I made up my mind at once, +that this shall not happen again, so the next time +I saw him coming, I looked into a shop window, +or at something, and did not see him. He came to +me and said—"Good morning, Mr. A——! what +is the matter with you, that you do not speak to +me?" or something like that. I answered, that he +had <i>cut</i> me in the street (I think that is what you +call it!) two or three days before, and that I never +will permit myself to be treated in this manner.<a name="Page_136" id="Page_136"></a> +Then he said, that I must excuse him, that he must +have been <i>in business</i> and did not see me, and so +on. But this is not the way of a <i>gentleman</i> in my +country!"</p> + +<p>You must imagine for yourselves the double effect, +lent to the words of my companion by his foreign +action and imperfect pronunciation, and the slight +curl of his dark moustache as he emphasized the +words I have underscored.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"What a harum-scarum fellow that James Condon +is!" exclaimed a young lady, in my hearing. +"I had reason to repent declining to drive to the +concert last night, I assure you! The moon, upon +which I had counted, was obscured, and he not only +hurried me along (though we had plenty of time, +as I was quite ready when he came), at breathless +speed, but actually dragged me over a heap of +rubbish, in crossing the street, upon which I nearly +tumbled down, though I had his arm. When we +reached the place, I was so heated and flurried that +I could not half enjoy the music, and this morning +I find not only that my handsome new boots are +completely spoiled, but that I have any quantity of +lime upon the bottom of the dress I wore, and my +pretty fan, which he must needs insist upon carrying +for me, sadly broken!"</p> + +<p><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137"></a></p><hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"I have seen everything and everybody I wish, +in London, except the Duke of Wellington," said +a sprightly lady whose early morning walk past +Apsley House—the town residence of the Iron +Duke—I was attending some years since, "every +distinguished man, except the Hero of Waterloo. +I hope I shall not lose that pleasure!"</p> + +<p>"You may have that pleasure now, madam!" +exclaimed a gentleman, passing us and rapidly walking +forward, in whose erect figure and very narrow +brimmed hat, I at once recognized the object of my +companion's hitherto unsatisfied curiosity.</p> + +<p>Strolling in Kensington Park, during that same +morning, and at an hour too unfashionably early for +a crowd, with my fair charge, I drew her gently aside, +as she leaned on my arm, from some slight obstruction +in our path, which she did not observe, and which +might otherwise have incommoded her.</p> + +<p>"Really Colonel Lunettes," said she, "your watchful +politeness reminds me of my dear father's. You +gentlemen of the old school so much surpass modern +beaux in courtesy! I well remember the last walk +I had in Broadway with papa, before we sailed. +Mrs. W—— and I were making a morning visit, +quite up town for us Brooklynites—in Union Place, +upon a bride, when who should also arrive but papa. +When we took leave, he accompanied us, and finding +that we had taken a fancy to walk all the way to the +ferry, insisted upon going with us—only think, +at his age, and so luxurious in his habits, too! As<a name="Page_138" id="Page_138"></a> +he is a little hard of hearing, and likes always to +talk with Mrs. W——, who is a great favorite of +his, I insisted upon his walking between us—that I +might have his arm, and yet not interfere with his conversation. +This, of course, brought me on the outside. +But I cannot describe to you the watchful care he +had for me, all the way. At the slightest crowding +he held me so firmly—saw every swerve of the +vehicles towards us, and would hold my dress away +from every rough box or so, that lumbered the +sidewalk, and every now and then he would say—'Minnie, +wouldn't you be more comfortable on my +other arm? I am afraid you will be hurt there!' At +the Brooklyn ferry he was to leave us, as he could +not go over to dine that day. Seeing a crowd at +the door of the office, he hastened a little before us +to pay the fare, and then saw us safely through the +press, taking leave of me as politely as of Mrs. +W——. 'What an elegant gentleman your father +is!' cried out Mrs. W——, as soon as he was gone, +'he always reminds me of the descriptions we read +of the chivalrous courtesy of knights of olden time; +it is like listening to a heroic ballad to be with +him, and receive his politeness.' I know you won't +laugh at me, Colonel, when I say that the memory +of that simple incident is still as fresh in my heart, +as though no ocean voyage and long travel had +come between; and I can truly say that I was +prouder of my <i>cavalier attendant</i> that day, than I +ever was of all the young men together, who ever +walked Broadway, with me." The tremulous tones,<a name="Page_139" id="Page_139"></a> +the glistening eyes, and the glowing cheeks of <a name="tn_png_139"></a><!--TN: "the the" changed to "the"-->the +fair young speaker attested the truth of her +filial boast, and I—but you must draw your own +<a name="tn_png_139a"></a><!--TN: Quote removed after "morals!"-->morals!</p> + +<p>Presently we resumed our chat, and the theme of +the moment together.</p> + +<p>"I well recollect," said my companion, in the +course of our discussion, "the impression produced +upon me, in my girlhood, by the manners of a young +gentleman, who was my groomsman at the wedding +of a young friend. Some of the lessons of good +breeding taught me by his example, I shall never +forget, I think. I was the most bashful creature in +the world at that time, and he quite won my heart +by the politeness with which he set me at ease, at +once, when he came to take me away in a carriage +to join my young friends. But that was not the +point: the next morning after the wedding, we were +all to attend the 'happy pair' as far as Saratoga, on +their wedding-tour; that is, the bridesmaids and +bridesmen. At Schenectady, we were put into an +old-fashioned car, divided into compartments. Just +as we were about to start, a singularly tall, gaunt, +Yankeefied-looking elderly woman scrambled into +our little box of a place, and seated herself. We +were fairly off, before she seemed fully to realize the +trials of her new position. She did not say, in the +language of the popular song,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">'I think there must be danger<br></span> +<span class="i2">'Mong so many sparks!'<br></span> +</div></div><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140"></a> + +<p class="continue">but she looked as though she feared having fallen +among the Philistines; and, I am ashamed to say +that some of our merry party made no scruple of privately +amusing themselves with her peculiarities of +dress and manner. Mr. Henry, however (my <a name="tn_png_140"></a><!--TN: "grooms man" changed to "groomsman"-->groomsman), +addressed some polite remarks to her, in so grave +and respectful a manner as soon to convince her of his +sincerity, and as carefully watched the sparks that +fell upon her thick worsted gown, as those that annoyed +the rest of us. At the first stopping-place, you +may be very sure that the unwilling intruder was in +haste to change her seat.</p> + +<p>"'Do you wish to get out, madam!' inquired Mr. +Henry; 'allow me to help you;' and bounding out, +he assisted her down the high step, as carefully and +respectfully as though she were some high dame of +rank and fashion. I am afraid that, though I did +not actually join in the merriment of my thoughtless +friends, I deserved the sting of conscience that served +to fasten this little incident so firmly in my remembrance. +Perhaps I was, for this reason, the more +impressed by another proof of the ever-ready politeness +of this gentleman, who made such an impression +upon my girlish fancy. We dined at Ballston, on +our way to Saratoga, and after dinner, I asked Mr. +Henry, with whom, in spite of my first awe of his +superiority of years and polish, I began to feel quite +at ease, to run down with me to one of the Springs, +for a glass of water, before we should resume our +journey. So he good-naturedly left the gentlemen +(<i>now</i> I know that he may have wished to smoke)<a name="Page_141" id="Page_141"></a> +together at the table, and accompanied me. But +now for my <i>dénoûment</i>. Just as we were in a narrow +place, between a high, steep bank and the track, +the cars came rushing towards us. In an instant, +<i>quicker</i> than thought, Mr. Henry had transferred me +from the arm next the cars—because more removed +from the edge of the bank—to the other arm, thus +placing his person between me and any passing danger, +and with such a quiet, re-assuring manner! You +smile, Colonel—but, really—well, you see what an +impression it made upon my youthful sensibilities!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Oh, girls, such a charming adventure as I had +this evening!" exclaimed Margaret, as a bevy of fair +young creatures clustered together before the fire in +a drawing-room where I was seated after dinner, with +my newspaper. My attention was arrested by the +peculiar animation with which these words were pronounced, +and I glanced at the group, over the top of +my spectacles. They reminded me of so many brilliant-hued +butterflies, in their bright-colored winter +dresses, and with their light, wavy motions as they +settled themselves, one on a pile of cushions, others +on a low ottoman, and two pretty fairies on the +hearth-rug, each uttering some exclamation of gratification +at the prospect of amusement.</p> + +<p>"Now, don't expect anything extraordinary or +dreadful, you silly creatures; I have no 'hair-breadth +'scapes by land or sea' to entertain you with. Can't<a name="Page_142" id="Page_142"></a> +one have a 'charming adventure,' and yet have nothing +to tell?"</p> + +<p>"But do tell us all there is to tell, dear Miss ——. +Do, please, this very moment," entreated one of the +fairies, linking her arms around her companion, and +mingling her golden ringlets with the darker locks of +the head upon which her own lovingly rested. And +a little concert of similar pleadings followed. This +prelude over, the tantalizing adventuress began:</p> + +<p>"Before I went over to New York this morning, +I wrote a little note to Mary Bostwick, telling her all +about our arrangements for the Christmas-tree, and +charging her not to fail to come to us on Christmas +eve, and all about it, for fear that, as I had so much +to accomplish, I might not be able to go up to +Twenty-third street, and return home in time to meet +you all here. My plan was to keep it until I was +decided, and then, if obliged to send it, to put it in +one of the City Express letter-boxes. Well, by the +time I was through with all my important errands, +it was time for me to turn my steps homeward. So, +happening last at Tiffany's, to get the—I mean, I +asked at Tiffany's for one of the places where a box +is kept in that neighborhood, and was told that +there was one in a druggist's, quite near—just above. +Hurrying along, I must have passed the place, and +stopped somewhere not far below 'Taylor's,' to see +exactly where I was. Time was flying, and it was +really almost growing dark; so I ventured to inquire +of a gentleman who was passing, though an entire +stranger, for the druggist's.<a name="Page_143" id="Page_143"></a></p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_143"></a><!--TN: Quotation marks corrected to show single quotes for dialogue and double quotes at the start of paragraphs throughout this anecdote on pages 143 and 144--> +"'I think it is below, near the Astor House,' said +he, with such an appearance of interest as to embolden +me to mention what I was in search of.</p> + +<p>"'If that is all,' he replied, 'I dare say there is +one nearer. Let me see,' glancing around, 'I think +there is one on the opposite corner—I will see.'</p> + +<p>"'I have no right to give you that trouble, sir,' +said I.</p> + +<p>"'Yes you have—it is what every man owes to +your sex.'</p> + +<p>"'You are very good, sir; but I am sure I can +make the inquiry for myself.'</p> + +<p>"'No, it is a tavern, where you cannot properly +go alone! Remain here, and I will ascertain for +you.'</p> + +<p>"Before I could repeat my thanks, the gentleman +was half across the street.</p> + +<p>"Hoping to facilitate matters, I followed him to +the opposite pavement, and stood where he would +observe me upon coming out of the door I had seen +him enter. I held the note and my porte-monnaie +ready in my hand.</p> + +<p>"'There is a box here,' said my kind friend, +returning, 'if you will intrust me with your letter, +I will deposit it for you.'</p> + +<p>"'You are very good, sir; I would like to pay it,' +I answered, opening my porte-monnaie.</p> + +<p>"He took the letter quickly, and prevented my +intended offer of the postage so decidedly, that I did +not dare insist. But, by this time, I really could not<a name="Page_144" id="Page_144"></a> +refrain from the expression of more than an ordinary +acknowledgment:</p> + +<p>"'I have to thank you, sir,' said I, 'not only for +a real kindness to a stranger, but for a <i>pleasant +memory</i>, which I shall not soon lose. Such courtesy +is too unusual to be soon forgotten! 'How far one +little candle sometimes throws its rays!'—many +thanks and good evening, sir!'</p> + +<p>"I had still one more errand in Canal street, but I +stayed on the 'unfashionable side' of the street, and +went up, to avoid the awkwardness of re-crossing +with the gentleman, and the possibility of imposing +any further tax upon his politeness—bless him! I +wasn't half as weary after I met him, and my heart +has been in a glow ever since!"</p> + +<p>"Bravo!" "Bravissimo!" echoed round the +room, in various waves of silvery sound.</p> + +<p>"Is that all, Miss ——?" inquired the only <i>boy</i> of +the party, unless you except the approach to second +childhood ensconced behind the newspaper, and +now acting the amiable part of <i>reporter</i>, for your +benefit.</p> + +<p>"All, unless I add that I occasionally glanced cautiously +over, to catch the form of my kind friend, as I +hurried along, that I might not again cross his path; +but I did not 'calculate' successfully after all; for, +as I ran across Broadway, at Canal street corner, he +was a little nearer than I had expected. I bowed +slightly, and hurried on:—but wasn't it beautiful? +Such chivalrous sentiments towards women: '<i>It is +what we all owe your sex!</i>' And his manner was<a name="Page_145" id="Page_145"></a> +more expressive than his words—so gentle and quiet! +No stage effect"——</p> + +<p>"But you quoted Shakespeare," insinuated a +pretty piece of malice on the ottoman.</p> + +<p>"I couldn't help it, if I did! I was surprised out +of the use of ordinary language by an extraordinary +occasion. If you are going to ridicule me, I shall +be sorry I told you; for it is one of the pleasantest +things that has happened to me in a great while! +There was I, in my <i>incognito-dress</i>, as I call it, weary +and pale, nothing about me to attract interest, I am +sure! I wish such men were more common in this +world, they would elevate the race!"</p> + +<p>"I declare, cousin Maggie, you are growing enthusiastic! +I haven't seen such beaming eyes and such +a brilliant color for a long time! Was this most +gallant knight of yours a <i>young</i> gentleman, may +I ask?"</p> + +<p>The lady thus questioned seemed to reflect a +moment before she replied:</p> + +<p>"If you mean to inquire whether he was a whiskered, +moustached <i>élégant</i>, not a bit of it! I +should not have addressed such a man in the street. +On the contrary, he was"——</p> + +<p>"<i>Married</i>, I am afraid!" interrupted pretty mischief +on the ottoman, giggling behind her next +neighbor.</p> + +<p>"I dare say he may have been," pursued the narrator, +quietly. "No very young man, even if he had +wished to be polite to a stranger neither young nor +beautiful, which is very doubtful, would have exhi<a name="Page_146" id="Page_146"></a>bited +the graceful self-possession and easy politeness +of this gentleman:—he was, probably, going to his +home in the upper part of the city after a business-day. +As I remember his dress, though, of course, +I had no thought about it at the time, it was the +simple, unnoticeable attire of an American gentleman +when engaged in business occupations—everything +about him, as I recall his presence, was in keeping—unostentatious, +quiet, appropriate! I shall long +preserve his portrait in my picture-gallery of memory, +and I am proud to believe that he is my own +countryman!"</p> + +<p>"Cousin Maggie always says," remarked one of +her auditors, "that Americans are the most truly +polite men she has met"——</p> + +<p>"Yes," returned the enthusiast, "though sometimes +wanting in mere surface-polish—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'Where'er I roam, whatever lands I see,<br></span> +<span class="i0">My heart, untravelled, fondly turns to'——<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">my own dear, honored countrymen—more truly chivalrous, +more truly just towards our sex, than the +men of any other land! I never yet appealed to +one of them for aid, for courtesy, <i>as a woman, and +as a woman should</i>, in vain. And I never, scarcely, +am so placed as to have occasion for kindness—real +kindness—without receiving it, unasked. The other +day, for instance, caught in a sudden shower, I stood +waiting for a stage, 'down town,' in Broadway. +There was such a jam that I was afraid to try and +get into one that stopped quite near the sidewalk.<a name="Page_147" id="Page_147"></a> +A policeman, at that moment, asked me whether I +wished to get in, and, holding my arm, stepped over +the curb with me. 'I don't know what the ladies +would do without the aid of your corps, sometimes, +in these crowds,' said I.</p> + +<p>"'If the ladies will accept our services, we are +proud, madam,' answered he.</p> + +<p>"'I am very glad to do so,' returned I; and well +I might, for, at that instant, as I was on the point of +setting my foot on the step of the omnibus, the horse +attached to a cart next behind suddenly started forward, +and left no space between his head and the +door of the stage. I shrunk back, as you may imagine, +and said I would walk, in spite of the rain. +But the policeman encouraged me, and called out to +the carman to fall back. At that instant, I observed +a gentleman come out upon the step of the stage. +With a single imperious gesture, and the sternest +face, he drove back the horse, and springing into +the omnibus, held the door open with one hand, and +extended the other to me. To be sure, the policeman +almost pinched my arm in two, in his effort to +keep me safe, but I was, at last, seated with whole +bones and a grateful heart, at the side of my brave, +kind champion. As soon as I recovered breath, I +was curious to see again the face whose expression +had arrested my attention (of course, I did not wait +for breath to <i>thank</i> him), and to note the external +characteristics of a man who would impulsively render +such service to a woman—like Charles Lamb—(dear, +gentle Charles Lamb!) holding his umbrella<a name="Page_148" id="Page_148"></a> +over the head of a washerwoman, because she was a +<i>woman</i>! Well, my friend was looking straight before +him, apparently wholly unconscious of the existence +of the trembling being he had so humanely +befriended, with the most impenetrable face imaginable, +and a sort of abstracted manner. Presently I +desired to open the window behind me—still not +quite recovered from my fright and flutter. Almost +before my hand was on the glass, my courteous +neighbor relieved me of my task. Again I rendered +cordial thanks, and again, as soon as delicacy permitted, +glanced furtively at the face beside me. +Nothing to reward my scrutiny was there revealed; +the same absorbed, fixed expression, the same seeming +unconsciousness! But can you doubt that a +noble, manly nature was veiled beneath that calm +face and quiet manner—a nature that would gleam +out in an instant, should humanity prompt, or +wrong excite? And I could tell you numberless +such anecdotes—all illustrative of my favorite +theory."</p> + +<p>"So could we all," said another lady, "I have no +doubt, if we only remembered them."</p> + +<p>"I never forget anything of that kind," returned +Margaret. "It is to me like a strain of fine music, +<i>acted poetry</i>, if I may use such a phrase. Such incidents +make, for me, the <i>poetry of real life</i>, indeed! +They inspire in my heart,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">'The still, <i>sweet</i> music of humanity.'"</p> +<a name="Page_149" id="Page_149"></a> + +<p>One magnificent moonlight night, while I was in +Rome with your cousins and the W——s, a party +was formed to visit the Coliseum. That whimsical +creature, Grace, whom I had more than once detected +in a disposition to fall behind the rest of the company, +as we strolled slowly through the ruins, at length +stole up to me, as I paused a little apart from the +group, and twining her arm within mine, whispered +softly:</p> + +<p>"<i>Do</i>, dear Uncle Hal, come this way with me for +a few moments!"</p> + +<p>Yielding to the impulse she gave me, we were +presently disengaged from our companions, and, +leaning, as if by mutual agreement, against a pillar.</p> + +<p>"What a luxury it is to be quiet!" exclaimed your +cousin, with a sigh of relief. "How that little Miss +B—— <i>does</i> chatter! Really it is profanation to +think or speak of common things to-night, and here!"</p> + +<p>"Well, my fair Epicurean," returned I, "since</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——'Silence, like a poultice comes<br></span> +<span class="i0">To heal the blows of sound,'<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">you shall reward me for my indulgence in attending +you, by repeating some of Byron's <i>apropos</i> lines, +for me as we stand here"—</p> + +<p>"At your pleasure, dear uncle."</p> + +<p>Presently she began, in a subdued tone, as if afraid +of disturbing the dreams of another, or as if half +listening while she spoke to the tread of those<a name="Page_150" id="Page_150"></a></p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'Whose distant footsteps echo<br></span> +<span class="i0">Through the corridors of Time;'<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">but gradually losing all consciousness, save that of +the inspiration of the bard, our fair enthusiast reached +a climax of eloquence with the words—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i11">'The azure gloom<br></span> +<span class="i0">Of an Italian night, where the deep skies assume<br></span> +<span class="i0">Hues which have words, and speak to ye of Heaven,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Floats o'er this vast and wondrous <a name="tn_png_150"></a><!--TN: Double quote removed after "monument,'"-->monument,'—<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">and she stretched out her arm, with an impulsive +gesture, as she spoke. I perceived a sudden recoil, +at the instant, of her dilating form, and, before +I could devise an explanation, heard the words, +"You are my prisoner, madam," and discovered a +gentleman standing in the deep shadow of the pillar, +close at her side, busily endeavoring to disentangle +the fringe of her shawl from the buttons of his coat.</p> + +<p>I remembered, afterwards, having noticed in passing, +sometime before, a shadowy figure standing with +folded arms and upturned face, half lost in the deep +shadow of a pillar, apparently quite unconscious of +the vicinity of the chattering ephemera fluttering by +his retreat. I at once surmised that Grace and I had +approached from the other side, and inadvertently stationed +ourselves near this <a name="tn_png_150a"></a><!--TN: "asthetical" changed to "æsthetical"-->æsthetical devotee—so near +that your cousin, in the excitement of her eloquence, +had fastened a lasso upon the dress of the stranger.</p> + +<p>"You are my prisoner, madam," he said, in French. +The words were simple enough, not so apposite but<a name="Page_151" id="Page_151"></a> +that many an one might have uttered them under +similar circumstances. Yet they were replete with +meaning, conveyed by the subtle aid of intonation +and of <i>manner</i>. The most chivalrous courtesy, the +most exquisite refinement, were fully expressed in +that brief sentence.</p> + +<p>"I have no fears either for my purse, or my life," +returned the quick-witted lady thus addressed, aiding +in the required disentanglement.</p> + +<p>"You need have none," rejoined the gentleman, +"though the laws of chivalry entitle me to demand a +goodly ransom for so fair a prize"—glancing politely +towards me.</p> + +<p>"Accept, at least, the poor guerdon of this token +of my thanks," said the enthusiast of the moment, +tendering a beautiful flower, which was opportunely +loosened from her bosom by the slight derangement +of her dress.</p> + +<p>"It will be a treasured memento," answered the +stranger, receiving the proffered gift with graceful +respect, and, bowing with the most courtly deference, +he walked rapidly away, as loth, by lingering one +needless moment, to seem intrusive.</p> + +<p>"What a voice!" exclaimed Grace, as the retreating +figure disappeared behind the fragment of a +fallen column, "blithe as the matin tone of a lark, +and"——</p> + +<p>"Clear as the note of the clarion that startled you +so upon the Appian Way, the other day," I suggested, +"and indeed, I am not sure that there was +not a little tremor in your fingers, this time, my brave<a name="Page_152" id="Page_152"></a> +lady, and that you did not hold just a little tighter +fast the arm of your old uncle."</p> + +<p>"What nonsense, Uncle Hal!—could anything +be more delicately reassuring—admitting that I was +startled, at first,—than the whole bearing of the +gentleman?"</p> + +<p>"Should you know him again?" I questioned.</p> + +<p>"I think I should, were it only by the diamond he +wore," she replied, with a little laugh at the woman's +reason. "Did you observe it uncle, as his macintosh +was opened by the pulling of that silly fringe—really +it might grace the crescent of Dian herself, +on a gala-night—it was a young star! but I also saw +his face distinctly as he raised his hat."</p> + +<p>Well, now for the <i>dénoûment</i> of my story—for +every romantic adventure should properly have a +<i>dénoûment</i>.</p> + +<p>As we were all riding on the Campagna a few +days afterwards, the usual intimation was given of +the approach of the <i>cortége</i> of the Pope. Of course +we went through the mummery of withdrawing, +while the poor old man was hurried along in his airing. +Standing thus together, a party of gentlemen +rode rapidly up, and, recognizing some of our party, +joined us.</p> + +<p>Scarcely were the usual greetings over, when +Grace, reining her horse near me, said, in a low tone: +"Uncle, there is the 'bright particular star' of the +other night in the Coliseum; I know I am not mistaken."</p> + +<p>And so it proved—the polished, graceful stranger<a name="Page_153" id="Page_153"></a> +was not a Prince <i>incognito</i>, not even an acreless +count, whose best claim to respect consisted in hereditary +titles and courtly manners, but a <i>young American +artist</i>, full of activity, enthusiasm and genius, +who had not forgotten to give beauty to the casket, +because it enshrined a gem of high value.</p> + +<p><i>Apropos</i> of gems—I afterwards learned that the +superb brilliant he always wore on his breast was a +token of the gratitude of a distinguished and munificent +patron and friend, for whom this child of feeling +and genius had successfully incarnated all that +was earthly of one loved and lost.</p> + +<p>We subsequently became well acquainted with our +gifted countryman, and a right good fellow he proved. +We met him constantly in society, while at Florence—the +Italian <i>Paradise of Americans</i>, as Miss —— +always called it—where his genial manners, the type +of a genial nature, made him a general favorite, as +well with natives as foreigners.</p> + +<p>Soon after he was named to me that day on the +Campagna, your cousin, who had again moved from +my side, turned her face towards us. The movement +arrested the attention of my companion—he glanced +inquiringly at me.</p> + +<p>"I think I am not mistaken, sir; have we not met +before?" and the same exquisite courtesy illumined +his face that had so impressed me previously. "May +I ask the honor of a presentation to my sometime +prisoner?"</p> + +<p>"Really, sir," I overheard Grace confessing, in her +sprightliest tones, as, the two parties uniting for the<a name="Page_154" id="Page_154"></a> +nonce, we all rode on together; "really, sir, I remember +to have been secretly rejoiced at having left +my heart, watch, and other valuables, safely locked +up at home, when I found myself in such a dangerous-looking +neighborhood."</p> + +<p>"And <i>I</i> still indulge the regret that my profession +did not fully entitle me to retain possession, not only +of the shawl, which, no doubt, was a camel's hair +of unknown value, but of the embodied poetry it +enwrapped."</p> + +<p>"You seem quite to overlook the fact that I was +guarded, like a damsel of old, by a doughty knight."</p> + +<p>I wish I could half describe the dextrous twirl of +the moustache, and the quickly-shadowed brow that +suddenly transformed that luminous and honest face +into that of the dark, moody brigand, as, fumbling +in his bosom the while, as about to unsheath a dagger, +he growled, in mock-heroic manner—"It were +easy to find means to silence such an opponent, with +such a reward in view!"</p> + +<p>The merry laugh with which Grace received this +sally, proved that she, at least, liked the <i>versatility +of manner</i> possessed by her gallant attendant.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Touching the electric chain of memory, causes +another link to vibrate, and I am reminded of my promise, +made in a former letter, to tell you about the +American girl whose beautiful arm threw Powers +into raptures.<a name="Page_155" id="Page_155"></a></p> + +<p>You will, perhaps, recollect that I alluded to my +having met abroad the heroine of the <i>cornelian pâté</i> +anecdote. I assure you, I had ample occasion, more +than once, to be proud of my lovely countrywoman, +in the most distinguished European circles—and by +that term I do not refer to distinction created by +mere rank. But to my tale:</p> + +<p>One day, during our mutual sojourn in her well-named +Italian "Paradise," Miss ——, and her father, +in accordance with a previous arrangement, called +at my lodgings, to take me with them to a dinner at +the Palace de ——.</p> + +<p>"I propose, as we have purposely come early, Col. +Lunettes, in the hope of finding you at leisure, that +we shall drop in at Powers' studio, a few minutes; +it is in our direct way, and he will be there, as I +happen to know. I so wish to know your impression +of papa's bust."</p> + +<p>While I was enjoying a chat with the presiding +genius of the scene, a little apart from a group +gathered about some object of peculiar interest, a +sudden glow of enthusiasm lighted his eye, as with +Promethean fire.</p> + +<p>"Heavens, what an arm!" exclaimed Powers. +"Oh, for the art to <i>petrify</i> it!" he added, with an +expressive gesture, the <i>furore</i> of the artist rapidly +enkindling.</p> + +<p>Following the direction of his glance, I beheld +what might well excite admiration in a less discriminating +spectator. The velvet mantle that had +shrouded the gala dress of Miss —— having fallen<a name="Page_156" id="Page_156"></a> +from her shoulders, disclosed the delicate beauty of +the uncovered arm and hand, which she was eagerly +extending towards the marble before her.</p> + +<p>"Remain just as you now stand, for a moment," +said I, "and let me see what I can do for you."</p> + +<p>"Miss ——," I asked, advancing towards my fair +friend, "will you let me invite your attention to this +new study? It is entitled 'The Artist's Prayer,' and +is supposed to impersonate the petition, 'Petrify it, +O, ye gods!'"</p> + +<p>Of course, this led to a brief and laughing explanation.</p> + +<p>"Happily, no earthly Powers can achieve that +transformation!" exclaimed the Lucifer of the Coliseum, +who was present, "but all will join in the +entreaty that we may be permitted to possess an +<i>imitation</i> of so beautiful an original."</p> + +<p>I am not permitted to disclose the secrets of the +inner temple; but many of you will yet behold the +loveliness that so charmed the lovers of art, moulded +into eternal marble.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VI" id="LETTER_VI"></a>LETTER VI.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead" style="letter-spacing:.3em;">MANNER, CONTINUED.</p> + +<p class="chapterhead">RULES FOR VISITING, AND FOR MANNER IN SOCIETY +GENERALLY.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">Having</span> attempted, in my last two letters, +with what success you will best judge, to give you +some practical hints respecting manner at home and +in the street, suppose we take up, next, the consideration +of the conduct proper in <i>Visiting</i>, and on +public occasions, generally.</p> + +<p>Among the minor obligations of social life, perhaps +few things are regarded as more formidable by +the unpractised, than ceremonious <i>morning visits to +ladies</i>. And perhaps, among the simple occurrences +of ordinary existence, few serve more fully to illustrate +individual tact, self-possession, and conversational +skill.</p> + +<p>Without aiming at much method in so doing, I +will endeavor to furnish you with a few directions +of general applicability.</p> + +<p>Hours for making morning calls are somewhat +varied by place and circumstance; but, as a rule,<a name="Page_158" id="Page_158"></a> +twelve o'clock is the earliest hour at which it is +admissible to make a visit of ceremony. From +that time until near the prevailing dinner-hour, in a +small town, or that known to be such in particular +instances, one may suit one's convenience.</p> + +<p>It is obviously unsuitable, usually, to prolong an +interview of this kind beyond a very moderate +length, and hence, as well as for other reasons, the +conversation should be light, varied, and appropriate +to outward circumstances.</p> + +<p>It is proper to send your card, not only to +announce yourself to strangers to whom you may +wish to pay your respects, but to all ladies with +whom you are not upon very intimate terms, and +at a private house, to designate intelligibly to the +servant who receives your card, the individual, or +the several persons, whom you wish to see.</p> + +<p>If you go to a hotel, etc., for this purpose, write the +name of the lady or ladies, for whom your visit is +designed, upon your card, <i>above</i> your own name, in +a legible manner, and await the return of the messenger, +to whom you intrust it, <i>where you part from +him</i>. If, upon his return, you are to remain for +your friends, and there be a choice of apartments +for that purpose, unless you choose to station yourself +within sight of the stairs they must of need +descend, or the corridor through which they must +pass, let the porter in attendance distinctly understand +not only your name, but where you are to be found, +and if possible, give him some clue to the identification +of the friends you wish to see. After a few<a name="Page_159" id="Page_159"></a> +vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions, you will +admit the wisdom of these precautionary measures, I +have no doubt. When you are shown into the drawing-room +of a private residence, if the mistress of the +mansion is present, at once advance towards her. +Should she offer her hand, be prompt to receive it, +and for this purpose, take your hat, stick, and right-hand +glove (unless an occasion of extreme ceremony +demands your wearing the latter), in your left hand, +as you enter. If your hostess does not offer her +hand, when she rises to receive you, simply bow, as +you pay your compliments, and take the seat she +designates, or that the servant places for you. When +there are other ladies of the same family present, +speak to each, in succession, according to age, or +other proper precedence, before you seat yourself. +If there are ladies in the room whom you do not +know, bow slightly to them, also, and if you are +introduced, after you have assumed a seat, rise and +bow to them. When men are introduced, they usually +mutually advance and shake hands; but the +intimation that this will be agreeable to her, should +always be the test when you are presented to a lady, +or when you address a lady acquaintance.</p> + +<p>Some tact is necessary in deciding your movements +when you find yourself preceded by other +visitors, in making a morning call. If you have no +special reason, as a message to deliver, or an +appointment to make, for lingering, and discover +that you are interrupting a circle, or when you are +<a name="tn_png_159"></a><!--TN: "n" changed to "in"-->in the midst of strangers, where the conversation<a name="Page_160" id="Page_160"></a> +does not at once become general, upon your making +one of them, address a few polite phrases to your +hostess, if you can do so with ease and propriety +from your position with regard to her, and take +leave, approaching her nearly enough, when you +rise to go, to make your adieu audible, or to receive +her hand, should she offer it. To strangers, even +when you have been introduced, you, ordinarily, only +bow passingly, as you are about to quit the room.</p> + +<p>Should you have a special object in calling upon +a lady, keep it carefully in view, that you may +accomplish it before you leave her presence. When +other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere +with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may +write what you wish upon a card in the hall, as you +go out, and intrust it to a servant, or leave a message +with him, or in case of there being objections to +either of those methods of communication, resort to +an appointment requested through him, or subsequently +write a note to that effect, or containing an +explanation of the object of your visit. When you +determine to outstay others at a morning reception, +upon the rising of ladies to depart, you rise also, +under all circumstances; and when they are acquaintances, +and unattended by a gentleman, accompany +them to the street-door, and to their carriage, if they +are driving, and then return to your hostess. Unacquainted, +you simply stand until ladies leave the +room, politely returning their parting salutation, if +they make one. Any appearance of a wish on the +part of those whom you chance to meet thus, for an<a name="Page_161" id="Page_161"></a> +<i>aside</i> conversation, will, of course, suggest the propriety +of occupying yourself until your hostess is at +leisure, with some subject of interest in the room—turn +to a picture, open a book, examine some article +of <i>bijouterie</i>, and, thus civilly unobtrusive, observe +only when it is proper for you to notice the separation +of the company.</p> + +<p>As I have before said, in making a visit of mere +politeness, some passing topic of interest should succeed +the courteous inquiries, etc., that naturally +commence the conversation. Visiting a lady practised +in the usages of society, relieves one, very +naturally, from any necessity for <i>leading</i> the conversation.</p> + +<p>When your object is to make an appointment, +give an invitation, etc., repeat the arrangement +finally agreed upon, distinctly and deliberately, upon +rising to go away, that both parties may distinctly +understand it, beyond the possibility of mistake.</p> + +<p>In attending ladies who are making morning visits, +it is proper to assist them up the steps, ring the bell, +write cards, etc. Entering, always <i>follow</i> them into +the house and into the drawing-room, and wait until +they have finished their salutations, unless you have +to perform the part of presenting them. In that +case, you enter with them, or stand within the door +until they have entered, and advance beside them +into the apartment.</p> + +<p>Ladies should always be the first to rise, in terminating +a visit, and when they have made their adieux,<a name="Page_162" id="Page_162"></a> +their cavaliers repeat the ceremony, and follow them +out.</p> + +<p>When gentlemen call together, the younger, or +least in rank, gives careful precedence to others, +rendering them courtesies similar to those due to +ladies.</p> + +<p>Soiled over-shoes, or wet over-garments, should, +on no account, be worn into an apartment devoted +to the use of ladies, unless they cannot be safely left +outside—as in the passage of a public house. In +such case, by no means omit an apology for the +necessary discourtesy.</p> + +<p>When ladies are not in the apartment where you +are to pay your respects to them, advance to meet +them upon their entrance; and in the public room +of a hotel, meet them as near the door as possible, +especially if there is no gentleman with them, or +the room be previously occupied, and conduct them +to seats.</p> + +<p>Never remain seated in the company of ladies +with whom you are ceremoniously associated, while +they are standing. Follow them to any object of +interest to which they direct your attention; place +a seat for them, if much time will be required for +such a purpose; ring the bell, bring a book; in +short, courteously relieve them from whatever may +be supposed to involve effort, fatigue, or discomfort +of any kind. It is, for this reason, eminently suitable +to offer the arm to ladies when ascending stairs. +Nothing is more absurd than the habit of <i>preceding<a name="Page_163" id="Page_163"></a> +them</i> adopted by some men—as if by following just +behind, as one should, if the arm is disengaged, +there can be any violation of propriety. Soiled frills +or unmended hose must have originated this vulgarity! +Tender the arm on the wall side of a lady, +mounting a stairs, that she may have the benefit of +the railing, and the fewer steps upon a landing; and +in assisting an invalid, or aged person, it is often +well to keep one step in advance. It is always +decorous to suit your pace to those you would +assist.</p> + +<p>It is also a proper courtesy, always to relieve +ladies of their parcels, parasols, shawls, etc., when +ever this will conduce to their convenience, which +is especially the case, of course, when they are +occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending +steps, entering a carriage, or passing through a +crowd.</p> + +<p>The rules of etiquette properly observable in +making ordinary ceremonious morning-visits, are +also applicable to <i>Morning Wedding-Receptions</i> with +slight variations. Of course, you do not then announce +yourself by a card. When previously acquainted +with her, you advance immediately to the +bride, and offer your <i>wishes for her future happiness</i>. +Never <i>congratulate</i> a lady upon her marriage; such +felicitations are, with good taste, tendered to the +bridegroom, not to the bride.</p> + +<p>Having paid your compliments to the bride, +you shake hands with the groom, and bow to the +bride-maids, when you know them. The mother of<a name="Page_164" id="Page_164"></a> +the bride should then be sought. Here, again +refinement dictates the avoidance of too eager +congratulations. While expressing a cordial hope +that the parents have added to their prospects of +future pleasure in receiving a new member into +their family, do not insinuate, by your manner, the +conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning +their daughter</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"To another path and guide,<br></span> +<span class="i0">To a bosom yet untried."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">It is not usual to sit down on such occasions; and it +is as obviously unsuitable to remain long, as it is to +engage the attention of those whom others may be +waiting to approach, beyond the utterance of a few +brief, well-chosen sentences.</p> + +<p>When you require an introduction to the bride, +but are acquainted with her husband, you may +speak first to him, and so secure a presentation. +Usually a groomsman, or some other gentleman, is in +readiness to present unknown visitors. In that case, +should he, too, be a stranger to you, mention your +name to him, and any little circumstance by which +he may afford a passing theme or explanation, when +he introduces you—as, that you are a friend of her +father—promised your particular friend, her sister, +to pay your respects, etc.</p> + +<p>On this, as in the instance of all similar occasions, +tact and good-taste must suggest the variations of +manner required by the greater or less degree of<a name="Page_165" id="Page_165"></a> +ceremony prevailing, and your individual relations +to those you visit.</p> + +<p>In this connection I will add that a card may +sometimes be properly made a substitute for paying +one's respects in person—with a pencilled phrase of +politeness, or accompanied by a note. In either +case, an envelope of the most unexceptionable kind +should be used, and a note written with equal attention +to ceremony.</p> + +<p>A <i>Visit of Condolence</i> is often most tastefully +made by going in person to the residence of your +friend, and leaving a courteous message, and your +card, with a servant. Much politeness is sometimes +expressed by the earliest possible call upon friends +just arrived from a journey, etc., or by leaving or +sending a card, with a pencilled expression of +pleasure, and of the intention of availing yourself +of the first suitable moment for paying your compliments +in person.</p> + +<p>Visits upon New-Year's Day should be short, as a +rule, for the reasons before suggested, and it is not +usual to sit down, except when old friends urge it, or +when the presence of an elderly person, or an invalid, +demands the appearance of peculiar consideration.</p> + +<p>On all occasions of ceremonious intercourse with +superiors in age and station, one or both, manner +should be regulated, as respects familiarity, or even +cordiality, <i>by them</i>. "He approached me with +<i>familiarity</i>, I repulsed him with <i>ceremony</i>," said a +man of rank, alluding to an impertinence of this +kind. Never be the first, under such circumstances,<a name="Page_166" id="Page_166"></a> +to violate the strict rules of convention. Their +observance is often the safeguard of sensibility, as +well as of self-respect.</p> + +<p>Simple good-taste will dictate the most quiet, unnoticeable +bearing at <i>Church</i>. The saying of the +celebrated Mrs. Chapone, that "it was part of her +religion not to disturb the religion of others," is all +inclusive. To enter early enough to be fully established +in one's seat before the service commences, +to attend politely, but very unostentatiously, to the +little courtesies that may render others comfortable, +to avoid all rude staring, and all appearance of +inattention to the proper occupations of the occasion, +as well as every semblance of irreverence, will occur +to all well-bred persons as obviously required by +decorum. When necessitated to go late to church, +one should, as on all similar occasions, endeavor to +disturb others as little as possible; but with equal +studiousness avoid the vulgar exhibition of discomposure, +of over-diffidence, or of any consciousness, +indeed, of being observed, which so unmistakably +savors of low-breeding. I cannot too frequently +remind you that <i>self-possession</i> is one of the grand +distinctive attributes of a gentleman, and that it is +often best illustrated by a simple, quiet, successful +manner of meeting the exigencies and peculiarities +of circumstances.</p> + +<p>Never wear your hat into church. Remove it in the +vestibule, and on no account resume it until you return +thither, unless health imperatively demands your +doing so just before reaching the door opening into it.<a name="Page_167" id="Page_167"></a></p> + +<p>All nodding, whispering, and exchanging of +glances in church, is in bad taste. Even the latter +should not be indulged in, unless a very charming +woman is the provoking cause of the peccadillo, and +then very stealthily and circumspectly!</p> + +<p>Salutations, even with intimate friends, should +always be very quietly exchanged, while one is still +within the body of the sacred edifice, and the "outer +court" of the house of God were better not the scene +of boisterous mirth, or rude jostling. Let me add, +here, that it is always proper, when compelled to +hurry past those of right before you, at church, or +elsewhere in a crowd, to apologize, briefly, but politely, +for discommoding any one.</p> + +<p>Whenever you are in attendance upon ladies, as at +the opera, concerts, lectures, etc., there is entire propriety +in remaining with them in the seat you have +paid for, or secured by early attendance. No gentleman +should be expected to separate himself from +a party to give his place to a lady under such circumstances, +and in no country but ours would such a +request or intimation be made. But while it is quite +justifiable to retain the seat taken upon entering +such a public place, nothing is more wholly inadmissible +than crowding in and out of your place +repeatedly, talking and laughing aloud, mistimed +applauding, and the like. If you are not present for +the simple purpose of witnessing the performance, +whatever it may be, there are, doubtless, those who +are; and it is not only exceedingly vulgar, but +<i>immoral</i>, to invade their rights in this regard. Be<a name="Page_168" id="Page_168"></a> +careful, therefore, to secure your <i>libretto</i>, concert-bill, +or programme, as the case may be, before +assuming your seat; and when you have ladies with +you, or are one of a party, especially, as then you +cannot so readily accept the penalty of carelessness, +by not returning to your first seat. Should any unforeseen +necessity compel you to crowd past others, +and afterwards resume your seat, presume as little as +possible upon their polite forbearance, by great care +of dresses, toes, etc., and each time politely apologize +for the inconvenience you occasion. Let me repeat +that no excuse exists for the too-frequent rudeness +of disturbing others by fidgeting, whispering, laughing, +or applauding out of time. And even when +standing or moving about between the exercises, on +any public occasion, or the acts at a play-house, or +opera, well-bred people are never disregardful of +the rights and comfort of others.</p> + +<p>In a picture-gallery, at an exhibition of marbles, +etc., nothing can be more indicative of a want of +refinement sufficient to appreciate true art, than the +impertinence exhibited in audible comments upon +the subjects before you, and in interfering with the +enjoyment of others by passing before them, moving +seats noisily, talking and laughing aloud, etc. With +persons of taste and refinement, there is an almost +religious sacredness in the presence of the creations +of genius, to desecrate which, is as vulgar +as it is irreverential of the beautiful and the good. +Always then, carry out the most scrupulous regard +of the rights and feelings of others, when yourself a<a name="Page_169" id="Page_169"></a> +devotee at the shrine of Æsthetics, by attention to +the minutest forms of courtesy. This will dictate +leaving your place the moment you rise, carrying +everything with you belonging to you, and never +stopping to shawl ladies, don an overcoat, or dispose +of an opera-glass, until you can do so without +interrupting the comfort of those you leave behind +you.</p> + +<p>When you wish to take refreshments, or to offer +them to ladies, at public entertainments, it is better +to repair to the place where they are served, as a +rule, unless it be in the instance of a single glass +of water, or the like; except when a party occupy +an opera-box, etc., exclusively.</p> + +<p>Be careful never to attach yourself to a party +of which you were not originally one, at any time, +or place, unless fully assured of its being agreeable +to the gentlemen previously associated with ladies; +or if a gentleman's party only, attracts you, make +yourself quite sure that no peccadillo be involved in +your joining it, and in either case, let your manner +indicate your remembrance of the circumstance of +your properly standing in the relation of a <i>recipient</i> +of the civilities due to the occasion.</p> + +<p>Some men practically adopt the opinion that the +courteous observances of social and domestic life +are wholly inapplicable to <i>business intercourse</i>. A +little consideration will prove this a solecism. Good +breeding is not a thing to be put off and on with +varying outward circumstance. If genuine, inherent, +it will always exhibit itself as certainly as<a name="Page_170" id="Page_170"></a> +integrity, or any other unalienable quality of an +individual. The manifestations of this characteristic +by <i>manner</i>, will, of course, vary with occasion, but +it will, nevertheless, be apparent at all times, and to +all observers, when its legitimate influence is rightly +understood and admitted.</p> + +<p>Hence, then, though the observance of elaborate +ceremony in the more practical associations of busy +outer life would be absurdly inappropriate, that careful +respect for the rights and feelings of others, which +is the basis of all true politeness, should not, under +these circumstances, be disregarded.</p> + +<p>The secret of the superior popularity of some business +men with their compeers and <i>employés</i>, lies +often, rather in <i>manner</i> than in any other characteristic. +You may observe, in one instance, a universal +favorite, to whom all his associates extend a welcoming +hand, as though there were magic in the ready +smile and genial manner, and who is served by his +inferiors in station with cheerfulness and alacrity, indicating +that a little more than a mere business bond +draws them to him; and again, an upright, but externally-repulsive +man, though always commanding +respect from his compeers, holds them aloof by his +frigidity, and receives the service of fear rather than +of love from those to whom he may be always just, +and even humane, if never sympathizing and unbending.</p> + +<p>As I have before remarked, there is no occasion +where we are associated with others, that does not +demand the exhibition of a polite manner. Thus at<a name="Page_171" id="Page_171"></a> +a <i>public table</i>, no man should allow himself to feed +like a mere animal, wholly disregardful of those +about him, and, as too frequently happens, forgetful +of the proprieties that are observed when eating in +private. Only at the best conducted hotels are all +things so well and liberally appointed as to render +those who meet at public tables wholly independent +of each in little matters of comfort and convenience, +and a well-bred man may be recognized there, as everywhere +else, by his manner to those who may chance +to be near him. He will neither call loudly to a servant, +nor monopolize the services that should be +divided with others. His quick eye will discern a lady +alone, or an invalid, and his ready courtesy supply a +want, or proffer a civility, and he will not grudge a +little self-denial, or a few minutes' time, in exchange +for the consciousness of being true to himself, even +in trifles. Nor will he <i>ever</i> eat as though running a +race of life and death with Time! Health and decency +will alike prompt him to abstain wholly from +attempting to take a meal, rather than assimilate +himself to a ravenous brute, to gratify his appetite. +Let no plea of want of time ever induce you, I entreat, +to acquire the American habit of thus eating +in public. Even in the compulsatory haste of travelling, +there is no valid excuse for this unhealthy +and disgusting practice. And, with regard to daily +life at one's hotel, or the like, the man who is habitually +regardful of the value and right use of time, +may well and wisely permit himself the simple indulgence +and relaxation of <i>eating like a gentleman</i>!<a name="Page_172" id="Page_172"></a></p> + +<p>While on this subject, permit me to remind you +of the impropriety of staring at strangers, listening +to conversation in which you have no part, commenting +audibly upon others, laughing and talking boisterously, +etc., etc. Let not even admiration tempt +you to put a modest woman out of countenance, by +a too fixed regard, nor let her even suspect that a nod, +a shrug, a significant whisper or glance had her for +their object. Good-breeding requires one to hear as +little as possible of the conversation of strangers, near +whom he may chance to be seated. We quietly +ignore their presence (as they should ours), unless +some exigency demands a courtesy; but we do not +disturb our neighbors by vociferousness, even in the +height of merriment, however harmless in itself.</p> + +<p>Should a lady, even though an entire stranger, be +entering an eating-hall alone, or attended by another +gentleman, at the same moment with yourself, give +precedence to her, with a slight bow; and so, when +quitting the room, as well as to your acknowledged +superiors in age or position generally, and carefully +avoid such self-engrossment as shall engender inattention +to their observances. So, too, when meeting +a lady on a public stairs, or in a passage-way, give +place sufficiently to allow her to pass readily, touching +your hat at the same moment. In the same manner +remove a chair, or other obstacle that obstructs the +way of a lady in a hotel parlor, or on a piazza; avoid +placing a seat so as to crowd a lady, encroach upon +a party, or compel you to sit before others.</p> + +<p>I admit that these are the <i>minutiæ</i> of manners, my<a name="Page_173" id="Page_173"></a> +dear fellows; but attention to them will increase your +self-respect, and give elevation to your general character, +just in proportion as <i>self</i> is subdued, and the +baser propensities of our nature kept habitually in +subserviency to the nobler qualities illustrated by +habitual good-breeding.</p> + +<p>But to return. Though the circumstances must be +peculiar that sanction your addressing a lady with +whom you are unacquainted, in a public parlor, or +the like, you are not required by convention to appear +so wholly unconscious of her presence as to +retain your seat just in front of the only fire in the +room on a cold day, in the only comfortable chair, or +a place so near the only airy window on a hot one, +as to preclude her approach to it. Nor are you +bound to sit in one seat and keep your legs across +another, on the deck of a steamer, in a railroad car, +in a tavern, at a public exhibition, while women +<i>stand</i> near you, compelled by your <i>not knowing</i> +them! Let me hope, too, that no kinsman of mine +will ever feel an inclination, when appealed to for +information in some practical emergency, by one of +the dependent sex, to repulse her with laconic coldness, +though the appeal should chance when he is +hurrying along the public highway of life, or through +the most secluded of its by-paths.</p> + +<p>Few young men, I must believe, ever remember +when in a large hotel, at night, with their companions, +that—opening into the corridors through which +they tramp like a body of mounted cavalry upon a +foray, with appropriate musical accompaniments<a name="Page_174" id="Page_174"></a>—may +be the apartments of the weary and the sick; or, +that, separated from the room in which they prolong +their nocturnal revels, by only the thinnest of partitions, +lies a timid and lonely woman, shrinking and +trembling more and more nervously at each successive +burst of mirth and song, or worse, that effectually +robs her of repose. Yet Sir Walter Raleigh, or +Sir Philip Sidney, might, perchance, have thought +even such a trifling peccadillo not un-note-worthy.</p> + +<p>The same general rules that are applicable to manner +in public places, at hotels, etc., are almost +equally so in <i>travelling</i>, modified only by circumstances +and good sense.</p> + +<p>A due consideration for the rights and feelings of +others, will be a better guide to true politeness than +a whole battery of conventionalisms. Courtesy to +ladies, to age, to the suffering, will here, as ever, +mark the true gentleman, as well as that habitual +refinement which interdicts the offensive use of +tobacco, where women sit or stand, or any other slovenliness +or indecorum.</p> + +<p>Under such circumstances, as many others in real +life, never let cold ceremony deter you from rendering +a real service to a fellow-being, though you readily +avail yourself of its barriers to repel impertinence +or vulgarity. It is authentically recorded of +one of the loyal subjects of the little crowned lady +over the ocean, that, as soon as he was restored to +the privileges of civilization, after having been cast +away upon a desert island with only one other person, +he at once challenged his companion in misfor<a name="Page_175" id="Page_175"></a>tune +for having spoken to him, during their mutual +exile, without an introduction!</p> + +<p>Should you indulge in any skepticism respecting +the literal truthfulness of this historical record, I can +personally vouch for the following: Our eccentric +and unhappy countryman, the gifted poet, P——, +was once, while travelling, roused from a moody and +absorbing reverie, by the address of a stranger, who +said: "Sir, I am Mr. W——, the author—you have +no doubt heard of me." The dreamy eye of the +contemplative solitaire lighted with a sudden fire, +as he deliberately scrutinized the intruder, then +quickly contracting each feature so that his physiognomy +changed at once to a very respectable imitation +of a spy-glass, he coolly inquired: "<i>Who the +devil did you say you are?</i>"</p> + +<p>Practice and tact combined, can alone give a man +ease and grace of manner amid the varying demands +of social life, but systematic attention to details will +soon simplify whatever may seem formidable in regard +to it. No one but a fool or a monomaniac goes +on stumbling through his allotted portion of existence, +when he may easily learn to go without stumbling +at all, or only occasionally.</p> + +<p>Thus, after experiencing the embarrassment of +keeping ladies, with whom you have been driving in +a hired carriage, standing in the rain, or sun, or in a +jostling crowd, while you are waiting for change to +pay your coach, or submitting to extortion, or searching +for your purse, you will, perhaps, resolve, when +you are next so circumstanced, to ascertain before-<a name="Page_176" id="Page_176"></a>hand, +if possible, exactly what you should lawfully +pay, to have your money ready before reaching your +final destination, and to leave the ladies seated in +quiet while you alight, pay your fare and then +secure shawls, etc., and make every other arrangement +and inquiry that will facilitate their +speedy and comfortable transit from the carriage.</p> + +<p>Thus much for <i>manner in public</i>.</p> + +<p>Now then, a few words relative to the bearing +proper in social intercourse, and I will release +you.</p> + +<p>In the character of <i>Host</i>, much is requisite that +would be unsuitable elsewhere, since the youngest +and most modest man must, of necessity, then take +the lead. Thus, when you have guests at dinner, +some care and tact are required in the simple matter, +even, of disposing of your visitors with due regard +to proper precedents. Of course, when there are +only men present, you desire him whom you wish to +distinguish, to conduct the mistress of the mansion to +the table, and are, yourself, the last to enter the +dining-room. When there are ladies, the place of +honor accorded to age, rank, or by some temporary +relative circumstance, is designated as being at your +right hand, and you precede your other guests, in +attendance upon such a lady. A stranger lady, for +whom an entertainment is given, should be met by her +host before she enters the drawing-room, and conducted +to the hostess. A gentleman, under similar +circumstances, must be received at the door of the +reception-room. In both instances, introductions<a name="Page_177" id="Page_177"></a> +should at once be given to those who are <i>invited to +meet such guests</i>.</p> + +<p>Persons living in large cities may, if they possess +requisite pecuniary means, always procure servants +so fully acquainted with the duties properly belonging +to them as to relieve themselves, when they have +visitors, from all attention to the details of the table. +But it is only in the best appointed establishments +that hospitality does not enjoin some regard to +these matters. It may be unfashionable to keep an +eye to the comfort of one's friends, when we are +favored with their company, to consult their tastes, to +humor their peculiarities, to convince them, by a thousand +nameless acts of consideration and deference, +that we have pleasure in rendering them honor due;—this +may not be in strict accordance with the +cold ceremony of modern fashion, but it, nevertheless, +illustrates one of the most beautiful of characteristics—one +ranked by the ancients as a <i>virtue</i>—Hospitality!</p> + +<p>Permit me, also, to remind you that sometimes the +most worthy people are not high-bred—not familiar +with conventional proprieties; that they even have +a dread of them, on account of this ignorance; and +that they are, therefore, not fit subjects towards +whom to display strict ceremony, or from whom to +expect it. But always remember, that, though they +may not understand conventionalisms, they will fully +appreciate genuine <i>kindness</i>, the talismanic charm +that will always place the humblest and most self +distrustful guest at ease. And never let a vulgar,<a name="Page_178" id="Page_178"></a> +degrading fear of compromising your claims to gentility, +tempt you to the inhumanity of wounding the +feelings of the humblest of your humble friends!</p> + +<p>If you have a large rout at your house, it will, +necessarily, be impossible for you to render special +attention to each guest; but you should, notwithstanding, +quietly endeavor to promote the enjoyment +of the company, by bringing such persons +together as are best suited to the appreciation of each +other's society, by drawing out the diffident, tendering +some civility to an elderly, or particularly unassuming +visitor, and, in short, by a manner that, +without in any degree savoring of over-solicitude, or +bustling self-importance, shall save you from a fate +similar to that of a gentleman of whom I lately read +the following anecdote:</p> + +<p>A stranger at a large party, observing a gentleman +leaning upon the corner of a mantel-piece, with a +peculiarly melancholy expression of countenance, +accosted him thus:—"Sir, as we both seem to be +entire strangers to all here, suppose we both return +home?" He addressed his <i>host</i>!</p> + +<p>In general society, do not let your pleasure in the +conversation of one person whom you may chance +to meet, or your being attached to a pleasant party, +tempt you to forget the respect due to other friends, +who may be present. Married ladies, whose hospitalities +you have shared, strangers who possess a claim +upon you, through your relations with mutual friends, +gentlemen whose politeness has been socially extended +to you, should never be rudely overlooked, or<a name="Page_179" id="Page_179"></a> +discourteously neglected. Such a manner would +indicate rather a vulgar eagerness for selfish enjoyment +than the collected self-possession, the well-sustained +good-breeding, of a <i>man of the world</i>. Do +not let a sudden attack of the modesty suitable to +youth and insignificance, induce you to regard those +proprieties as of no importance in your particular +case—exclaiming, "What's Hecuba to me, +or I to Hecuba?" Believe me, no one is so unimportant +as to be unable to give pleasure by politeness; +and no one having a place in society, has a right to +self-abnegation in this respect.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Husband, do you know a young Mr. V——, in +society here—a lawyer, I think?" inquired a lady-friend +of mine, of a distinguished member of the +Legislature of our State, with whom I was dining, at +his hotel.</p> + +<p>"V——? That I do! and a right clever fellow he +is:—why, my dear?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, nothing, I met him somewhere the other morning, +and was struck with his pleasing manners. This +morning I was really indebted to his politeness. You +know how slippery it was—well, I had been at Mrs. +S——'s reception, and was just hesitating on the top +of the steps, on coming away, afraid to call the man +from his horses, and fearful of venturing down alone, +when Mr. V—— ran up, like a chamois-hunter, +and offered his assistance. He not only escorted me<a name="Page_180" id="Page_180"></a> +to the sleigh, but tucked up the furs, gave me my +muff, and inquired for your health with such good-humor +and cordiality as really quite won my heart!"</p> + +<p>"I should be exceedingly jealous, were it not that +he made exactly the same impression upon me, a few +evenings before you joined me here. It was at Miss +T——'s wedding. Of course, I had a card of invitation +to the reception, after the ceremony, but, disliking +crowds as I do, and as you were not here, I decided +not to go.—The truth is, Colonel, [turning to me] +we backwoodsmen are a little shy of these grand +state occasions of ceremony and parade."—</p> + +<p>"Backwoodsmen, as you are pleased to term them, +sometimes confer far more honor upon such occasions +than they upon him," returned I.</p> + +<p>"You are very polite, sir. Well, as I was saying, +in the morning I met the bride's father, who was one +of my early college friends, in the street, and he +urged me, with such old-fashioned, hearty cordiality +to come, that I began to think the homely charm +of <i>hospitality</i> might not be wholly lacking, even at +a fashionable entertainment, in this most fashionable +city. So the upshot of the matter was my going, +though with some misgivings about my <i>court-costume</i>, +as my guardian-angel had deserted me." Really, +boys, I wish you could have seen the chivalrous +courtesy that lighted the fine eye and shone over the +manner of the speaker, as, with these last words, he +bowed to the fair companion of his life for something +like half a century.</p> + +<p>"You forget, my dear," rejoined the lady, as a soft<a name="Page_181" id="Page_181"></a> +smile, and a softer blush stole over her still beautiful +face, "that Mrs. M—— wrote me you were quite +the lion of the occasion, and that half the young +ladies present, including the bride herself, were"—</p> + +<p>"My dear! I cry you mercy!—Bless my soul!—an +old fellow like me!"——</p> + +<p>"But K——, my dear friend," I exclaimed, "don't +be personal"——</p> + +<p>"Lunettes, you were always, and still are, irresistible +with the ladies, but—you are <i>an exception</i>."</p> + +<p>"I protest!" cried Mrs. K——, joining in our +laughter, "Mr. Clay, to his latest day, was in high +favor with ladies, young and old—there was no withstanding +the <i>charm of his manner</i>. At Washington, +one winter that I spent there, wherever I met him, +he was encircled by the fairest and most distinguished +of our sex, all seeming to vie with each other for +his attentions—and this was not because of his political +rank, for others in high position did not share his +popularity;—it was his grace, his courtesy, his <i>je ne +sais quoi</i>, as the French say."</p> + +<p>"Mr. Clay was as remarkable for quiet self-possession +and tact, in social as in public life," said I. +"When I had the honor to be his colleague, I often +had occasion to observe and admire both. I remember +once being a good deal amused by a little scene +between him and a Miss ——, then a reigning belle +at Washington, and a great favorite of Mr. Clay's. +Returning late one night from the Capitol, excessively +fatigued by a long and exciting debate, in which +he had borne an active part, he dropped into the<a name="Page_182" id="Page_182"></a> +ladies' parlor of our hotel, on his way up stairs, +hoping, I dare say, Mrs. K., to enjoy the soothing +influence of gentler smiles and tones than those he had +left. The room was almost deserted, but, ensconced +in one corner of a long, old-fashioned sofa, sat Miss +——, reading. His keen eye detected his fair friend +in a moment, and his lagging step quickened as he +approached her. A younger and handsomer man +might well have envied the warm welcome he +received. After sitting a moment beside the lady, +Mr. Clay said, abruptly:—</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_182"></a><!--TN: Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph-->"'Miss ——, what is your definition of true politeness?'</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_182a"></a><!--TN: Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph-->"'Perfect ease,' she replied.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_182b"></a><!--TN: Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph-->"'I have the honor to agree with you, madam, and, +with your entire permission, will take leave to +assume the correctness of <i>this position</i>!' As he +spoke, with a dextrous movement, the statesman +disposed a large cushion near Miss ——'s end of the +sofa, and simultaneously, down went his head upon +the cushion, and up went his heels at the other +extreme of the sofa! But, my dear fellow, we are +losing your adventures at the great wedding party, +all this time"——</p> + +<p>"Very true, my dear," added Mrs. K——, wiping +her eyes, "you fell in love with Mr. V——, you +know"—</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," returned my host, "I did, indeed; but +I had no adventures, in particular. V—— was one +of the <i>aids-de-camp</i>, on the occasion, as I knew by +the white love-knot (what is the fashionable name,<a name="Page_183" id="Page_183"></a> +wife?) he wore on his breast. He was in the hall +when I came down stairs, to act in his office of +groomsman. Upon seeing me, he advanced, and +asked whether he could be of any service to me. I +explained, while I drew on my gloves, that I did +not know the bride, and feared that even her mother +might have forgotten an early friend. His young +eyes found the button of my glove quicker than mine, +and as he released my hand, he said, showing a sad +rent in his own, "you are fortunate in not having +split them, sir,—but you <i>gentlemen of the old school</i>," +he added with a respectful bow, "always surpass us +youngsters in matters of dress, as well as everything +else." As he said this, the young rogue glanced +politely over my plain black suit, and offered me his +arm as deferentially as though I had been an Ex-President, +at least; and so on, throughout the evening, +with apparent <i>unconsciousness of self</i>. I should +have thought him wholly devoted to my enjoyment +of everything and everybody, had I not observed +that others, equally, or more, in need of his attention +than I, shared his courtesy—from an elderly lady in +a huge church-tower of a cap, who seemed fearfully +exercised less she should not secure her full share of +the wedding-cake boxes, to one of the little sisters +of the bride, who clung to her dress and sobbed as +if her heart must break—all seemed to like him and +<i>depend</i> on him."</p> + +<p>"I have not the pleasure of Mr. V——'s acquaintance," +said I, "but I prophesy that <i>he will succeed +in life</i>!"<a name="Page_184" id="Page_184"></a></p> + +<p>"Yes, and make friends at every step!" responded +Mrs. K——, warmly. "After we parted this morning, +I had an agreeable sort of half-consciousness +that something pleasant had happened to me, and +when I analised the feeling, Wordsworth's lines +seemed to have been impersonated to me:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'A face with gladness overspread!<br></span> +<span class="i0">Soft smiles, by human kindness bred!<br></span> +<span class="i0">And seemliness complete, that sways<br></span> +<span class="i0">Thy courtesies, about thee plays!'"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I have known few persons with as exquisite æsthetical +perceptions as my lovely friend Minnie. So I +promised myself great pleasure in taking her to see +Cole's celebrated series of pictures—<span class="smcap">The Course of +Time</span>. It was soon after Cole's lamented death; and, +as Minnie had been some time living where she was +deprived of such enjoyments, she had never seen +these fine pictures.</p> + +<p>As we drove along towards the Art Union Gallery, +the fair enthusiast was all eager expectation. "How +often my kind friend Mr. S—— B. R——, used to +talk to me of Cole," said she, "and promise me the +pleasure of knowing him. When he died I felt as +though I had lost a dear friend, as I had indeed, for all +who worship art, have a friend in each child of genius."</p> + +<p>"Cole was emphatically one of these," returned I, +"as his conceptions alone prove."</p> + +<p>"Yes, indeed," replied Minnie, "I always think of +him as the <i>poet-painter</i>, since I saw his first series<a name="Page_185" id="Page_185"></a>—the +'Progress of Empire.' Only a poet's imagination +could conceive his subjects."</p> + +<p>I placed my sweet friend in the most favorable +position for enjoying each picture in succession, and +seated myself at her side, rather for the gratification +of listening to the low murmurs of delight that should +be breathed by her kindred soul, than to view the +painter's skill, as that no longer possessed the attraction +of novelty for me.</p> + +<p>We had just come to the sublime portraiture of +"<i>Manhood</i>," and Minnie seemed wholly absorbed in +her own thoughts and imaginings. Suddenly a silly +giggle broke the charmed stillness. The Devotee of +the Beautiful started, as if abruptly awakened from +a dream, and a slight shiver ran through her sensitive +frame.</p> + +<p>Turning, I perceived, standing close behind us, a +group of young persons, chattering and laughing, +and pointing to different parts of the picture before +us. Their platitudes were not, perhaps, especially +stupid, nor were they more noisy and rude than I +have known <i>free-born republicans</i> before, under +somewhat similar circumstances; but poor Minnie +endured absolute torture; her idealized delight +vanished before a coarse reality. I well remember +the imploring and distressed look with which she +whispered: "Let us go, dear Colonel;" and one +glance at her pale face satisfied me that the spell was +irrevocably broken for her, and that her long anticipated +"joy," in beholding "a thing of beauty" +had indeed been cruelly alloyed.<a name="Page_186" id="Page_186"></a></p> + +<p>If my memory serves me aright, I told you something, +in a former letter, of an interesting lady, a +friend of mine, whose husband was shot all to pieces +in the Mexican War, and after lying for many months +in an almost hopeless condition, finally so far recovered +as to be removed to the sea-board, to take ship +for New Orleans. When informed of this, his beautiful +young wife—a belle, a beauty, and the petted idol +of a large family circle before her marriage—set out, +at mid-winter, accompanied by one of her brothers +and taking with her the infant-child, whom its +soldier-father had never seen, to meet her husband +on his homeward route. This explanation will render +intelligible the following incident, which she +herself related to me.</p> + +<p>"My brother remained with us some time at New +Orleans," said the fair narrator; "but, as Ernest +began to improve, I entreated him to return home, +as both his business and his family demanded his +attention; and you know, Colonel Lunettes," she +added, with a sad smile, "that a <i>soldier's wife</i> must +learn to be brave, for her own sake as well as for +his. Ernest had with him an excellent, faithful +servant, who was fully competent to such service as +I could not render, and my little boy's nurse was +with me, of course. So we made our homeward +journey by slow stages, but with less suffering to +my husband than we could have hoped, and I grew +strong as soon as we were re-united, and felt adequate +to anything, almost."<a name="Page_187" id="Page_187"></a></p> + +<p>The fair young creature added the last word with +the same mournful smile that had before flitted over +her sweet face, and as if rather in reply to the +doubtful expression she read in my countenance, +than from any remembrance of having failed, in the +slightest degree, in the task of which she spoke.</p> + +<p>"On the night of our arrival at A——, however," +pursued Mrs. V——, "we seemed to reach such a +climax of fatigue and trial, as to make further +endurance literally impossible for poor Ernest. Our +little child had been taken ill the day before, so that +I could not devote myself so entirely to him as I +could have wished; and, as we drew near home, +his impatience seemed to increase the pain of his +wounds, so that, on this evening, he was almost +exhausted both in body and mind. We stopped at +the D—— House, as being nearest the depot, which +was a great point with us; but such a comfortless, +shiftless place!"——</p> + +<p>"An abominable hole!" I ejaculated; "one never +gets anything fit to eat there!"</p> + +<p>"That was the least of our difficulties," returned +the lady, "as we had to leave our man-servant to +look after our luggage, it was with great difficulty +that my poor husband was assisted up stairs into the +public parlor, and he almost fainted while I gave a +few hurried directions about a room. Such a scene +as it was! The poor baby, weary and sleepy, began +to cry for mamma, and nurse had as much as she +could do with the care of him. Ernest had sunk<a name="Page_188" id="Page_188"></a> +down upon the only sofa in the room—a huge, +heavy machine of a thing, that looked as though +never designed to be moved from its place against +the wall. I gave my husband a restorative, but in +vain. He grew so ghastly pale that"——a sob here +choked the utterance of the speaker.</p> + +<p>"My dear child," said I, taking her hand, "do not +say another word; I cannot forgive myself for asking +you these particulars—all is well now—do not +recall the past!"</p> + +<p>"Excuse me, dear Colonel, I <i>wish</i> to tell you, I +want you to know, how we were treated by a brute +in human form—to ask you whether you could have +believed in the existence of such a being—so +utterly destitute of common politeness, not to say +humanity."</p> + +<p>"I hope no one who could aid you, in this +extremity, failed to do so."</p> + +<p>"You shall hear. Ernest was shivering with cold, +as well as exhaustion, and whispered to me that he +would try to sit by the fire until the room was +prepared. I looked round the place for an easy-chair; +there was but one, and that was occupied by +a man who was staring at us, as though we were +curiosities exhibited for his especial benefit."</p> + +<p>"'Ernest,' <a name="tn_png_188"></a><!--TN: Comma removed after "said"-->said I aloud, 'you are too weak to sit +in one of these chairs without arms, and with +nothing to support your head.'</p> + +<p>"'I will try, love,' he replied, 'for I am so cold!'</p> + +<p>"'I will ask that man for his <a name="tn_png_188a"></a><!--TN: Single quote added after "chair,"-->chair,' I whispered.<a name="Page_189" id="Page_189"></a> +Poor Ernest! his eyes flashed. 'No! No!' said he, +'if he has not the decency to offer it, you shall not +speak to him!'</p> + +<p>"Of course, I would not irritate him by opposition, +but placed an ordinary chair before the fire, +and, supporting him into it, held his head on my +shoulder, while I chafed his benumbed hands. In +the meanwhile, the wail of the baby did not help to +quiet us, nor to shorten the time of waiting; and it +seemed as if John would never make his appearance, +nor the room I had ordered be prepared. By +my direction, nurse rang the bell. I inquired of +the very placid individual who answered it, whether +the room was ready for us, and upon being told that +they were making the fire, entreated the emblem of +serenity to hasten operations, and at once to bring +me a cup of hot tea. Minutes seemed hours to me, +as you may suppose, and the dull eyes that were +fastened upon us from the centre of the stuffed +chair, I so longed for, really made me nervous. +I felt as though it might be some horrid ghoul, +rather than anything human, thus looking upon our +misery. 'Good G——, Lu!' said Ernest, at last, +'isn't the bed ready yet?'</p> + +<p>"I could bear it no longer. Gently withdrawing +my support from the weary, weary head, I flew to +my boy, snatched him from nurse, and signifying +my design to her, we united our powers, and, laying +baby on the sofa, we succeeded in pushing it up to +the side of the fire-place. Then, while I hushed the +child on my breast, we piled up our wrappings and<a name="Page_190" id="Page_190"></a> +placed my husband upon the couch, so as to rest his +poor wounded frame (you know, Colonel, his spine +was injured). The groan, half of relief and half +of torture, that broke from his lips, as he rested +his head, was like to be the 'last straw' that broke +my heart—but the soldier's wife! How often did I +repeat to myself, during that long journey:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'Remember thou'rt a <i>soldier's wife</i>,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Those tears but ill become thee!'<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p><a name="tn_png_190"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "Well"-->"Well! by this time, John made his appearance, +and, consigning his master temporarily to his care, I +took nurse with me, and went to see what a woman's +ready hand could do in expediting matters elsewhere. +When showed to the room we were expected to +occupy, I found it so filled with smoke, and so dreadfully +cold, as to be wholly uninhabitable, and in +despair sent for the steward, or whoever he was, to +whom I had given directions at first. No other +room with two beds could be secured. By the glimmering +light of the small lamp in the hand of the +Irishman, who was laboring with the attempt at a +fire, I investigated a little; the smouldering coals +belched forth volumes of smoke into my face. +Nothing daunted by this ('twas not the 'smoke of +battle,' though I felt as though in the midst of a +conflict of life and death), I bade the man remove +the blower. Behold the draught closed by the strip +of stone sometimes used for that purpose, after a +hard coal fire is fully ignited! I think, Colonel, you<a name="Page_191" id="Page_191"></a> +would have admired the laconic, imperiously cool +tone and manner with which I speedily effected the +removal of the entire mass of cold hard coal, substituted +for it, light, dry wood, and covering up my +boy, as he still rested in my arms, dissipated the +smoke that contended with the close, shut-up sort of +air in the room, for disagreeability, by opening the +windows, had the most comfortable looking of the +beds drawn near the fire, and opened to air and +warm, ordered up the trunks we wanted, opened +them, hung a warm flannel dressing-gown near the +fire, placed his slippers and everything else Ernest +would want just <i>where</i> they would be wanted, near +the best chair I could secure, and the table that was +to receive his supper when he should be ready +for it, and, in short <i>put the matter through</i>, as Ernest +would say, with the speed of desperation. It +was wonderful how quickly all this, and more, was +effected by the people about me chiefly through +my ability to tell them exactly what to do and how +to do it. Excuse me if I boast; it was the deep +calmness of despair that inspired me! <i>Now</i> I can +smile at the look of blank amazement with which +Paddy received my announcement of the necessity +of taking out all the coals from the grate, before +he could hope to kindle a fire, and the stare of the +<i>man of affairs</i> for the D—— House, as he entered +upon the field of my efforts to say that tea was +ready."</p> + +<p>"There is but one step from the sublime to the +ridiculous!" I exclaimed, laughing, in spite of my<a name="Page_192" id="Page_192"></a> +sympathy with my fair friend. "And what became +of the barbarian in the large chair?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, when I returned to the parlor to have Ernest +removed to our own room, there he sat, still, lolling +comfortably back in his chair, with his hat on, and +his feet laid up before him, and apparently as much +occupied as ever in staring at the strangers, and no +more</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">'On hospitable thoughts intent'</p> + +<p class="continue">than when I quitted the room, the horrid ghoul! I +was so rejoiced to escape with my treasures safe +from his blighting gaze! But now for the <i>moral</i> of +my story, dear Colonel, for every story has its moral, +I suppose,—John, Ernest's man, told nurse, who, by +the way, was so highly indignant on the occasion, as +to assure me afterwards, that if she had been a man, +she'd have just pitched the selfish brute beast out of +the chair, and taken it for Mr. V——, without so +much as a 'by your leave.'"——</p> + +<p>I could not refrain from interrupting Mrs. —— to +say that I thought I should have been sorely tempted +to some such act myself, under the circumstances.</p> + +<p>"Yes," pursued Mrs. V——, "nurse still recurs to +that 'awful cold night in A——' with an invariable +malediction upon the '<i>bad speret</i> as kept the chair.' +But, as I was saying, John told her afterwards that +the ghoul asked him who that sick gentleman was, +and said that his wife appeared to be in so much +trouble that he should have offered to help her along +a little, but he <i>wasn't acquainted with her</i>!"<a name="Page_193" id="Page_193"></a></p> + +<p>"Uncle Hal, isn't an artist <i>a gentleman</i>?" inquired +Blanche of me one morning, during a recent visit to +our great Commercial Metropolis, as the newspaper +writers call it. "What do you mean, child," said I, +"you cannot mean to ask whether artists <i>rank as +gentlemen</i> in society, for that does not admit of question." +I saw there was something troubling her, +the moment she came down, for she did not welcome +her old uncle with her usual sparkling smile, though +she snugged close up to me on the sofa, and kept +my hand in both of hers, while we were arranging +some matters about which I had called.</p> + +<p>"Is not an <i>engraver</i> an artist?" she inquired, with +increased earnestness of tone. "Does not an engraver +who has a large <i>atelier</i>, numbers of <i>employés</i>, +and does all kinds of beautiful prints, heads, and +landscapes, and elegant figures, take rank in social +life with other gentlemen?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly, my dear; but tell me what you are +thinking of; what troubles you my child?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you remember, dear uncle, perhaps, the +young orphan boy in whom papa and all of us used to +be so interested the summer you spent with us, long +ago, when we were all children at home. He is +now established in this city, after years of struggle +with difficulties that would have crushed a less +noble spirit, and his sisters, for whom he has always +provided, in a great degree, though at the cost of +almost incredible self-denial, as I happen to know, +are now nearly prepared for teachers. We have<a name="Page_194" id="Page_194"></a> +always retained our interest in them all; and they +always make us a visit when they are at D——. Indeed, +papa always says he knows few young men for +whom he entertains so high a regard; and I am sure he +is very good-looking, and though he may not be very +fashionable,—you needn't smile, uncle Hal, I"——</p> + +<p>"My dear, I am charmed with your sketch, and +shall go, at once, and have my old visage engraved +by your handsome artist-friend; and when I publish +my auto-biography, it shall be accompanied by +a 'portrait of the author,' superbly engraved by +a 'celebrated artist.'"</p> + +<p>"He <i>is</i> celebrated, uncle, really; you have no idea +of the vast number of orders he has from all parts of +the country, nor how beautifully he gets up everything. +But I must tell you," proceeded the sensitive +little thing, with more cheerfulness, for I had +succeeded in my design of cheering her up a little—"Mr. +Zousky—Henry, as we always call him, has +been engraving the head of one of our friends at +home for a literary affair—some biographical book, +or something of that sort, and he came up to show +me one of the 'first impressions,' as I think he calls +them, and to bring a message from his sister, last +evening—wishing me to '<i>criticise</i>,' he told me, as +he had nothing but rather an indifferent daguerreotype +to copy from. It was just before tea that he +called—because he is busy all day, I suppose, and +perhaps, he thought he should be sure of finding me, +then. Indeed, he said something about fearing to +intrude later, when there might be other visitors<a name="Page_195" id="Page_195"></a>—he +is the most sensitive and unobtrusive being! +Well, just as we were having a nice little chat about +old times at D——, cousin Charles came home and +came into the parlor. Of course, he knows Henry +very well, for he has seen him often and often at +our house, when he used to be there in vacations +with my brothers; and, indeed, once before Henry +came here to live, was one of a party of us, who +went to his little studio, to see his self-taught paintings +and sketches. When he entered the room, I +said, 'cousin Charles, our friend Mr. Zousky does +not need an introduction to you, I am sure.' I cannot +describe his manner. I did not so much mind +its being cold and indifferent, but it was not that of +<i>an equal</i>—of one gentleman to another, and without +sitting down, even for a moment, he walked back to +the dining-room, and I heard him ask the servant +whether tea was ready. Henry rose in a moment, +and took my hand to say good-bye—oh, uncle, I cannot +tell you how hurt I was! His voice was as low +and gentle as ever, but his face betrayed him! I +know he noticed cousin Charles' manner. I was +determined that he should not go away so; so I +didn't get up, but drew him to a seat by me on the +sofa, and said that he must not go yet, unless he had +an engagement, for that I had not half done telling +him what I wished, and rattled on, hardly knowing +what I <i>did</i> say, for I was so grieved and mortified. +He said he would come again, as it was my tea-time, +but I insisted that my tea was of no consequence, +and that I much preferred talking to a<a name="Page_196" id="Page_196"></a> +friend—all the while hoping that either cousin +Maria or cousin Charles would come and invite +him to take tea. Presently I heard cousin Maria +come down, and then the glass doors were closed +between the rooms, and I knew they were at tea. +Why, uncle Hal, papa would no more have +done such a thing in <i>his</i> house, than he would +have robbed some one! What! wound the feelings +of any one for fear of not being '<i>genteel!</i>' that's the +word, I suppose—I hear cousin Maria use it very +often! We were always taught by dear mamma, +while she lived, to be particularly polite and attentive +to those who might not be as happy or prosperous +as ourselves. She used to say that fashionable +and distinguished people were the least likely to +observe those things, but that the sensitive and self-distrustful +were apt to be almost morbidly alive to +every indication of neglect. 'Never brush rudely +by the human sensitive plant, my dears,' she used to +say, 'lest you should bruise the tender leaves; and +never forget that it most needs the <i>sunshine of +smiles</i>!' Dear mamma! she used to be so polite to +Henry—not <i>patronizing</i>, but so friendly, so considerate—always +she put him at ease when there +was other company at our house (though he never +came in when he knew there were other visitors), +and she used to do so many kind things to assist his +first efforts in his art! I only hope he understood +that <i>I</i> have no rights here. I am sure I <i>feel</i> that I +have not! But I would rather be treated a hundred +times over again as I was last night, myself, than to<a name="Page_197" id="Page_197"></a> +have Henry's feelings wounded; still, I must say +that I should not think, because she happened to be +detained past the exact tea-hour, of sending away +the tea-things and keeping cold slops in a pitcher for +any guest in <i>my</i> house, if I had one"——</p> + +<p>"Hush, Blanche! I never heard you talk so indiscreetly +before!"</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't care! Papa <i>made</i> me come here +to stay, because he said they had visited us, and +came out to Bel's wedding, and all; but I do so +wish I was at the St. Nicholas with you and the +Clarks, uncle, dear! Cousin Charles ain't like himself +since he married his fashionable New York +wife; even when he comes to pa's he isn't, though +<i>there</i> he throws off his cold, ceremonious manner +somewhat. But I really feel as if I was in a straight-jacket +here!"</p> + +<p>"Why, Blanche, what's the trouble? I am sure +everything is very elegant and fashionable here!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, too elegant and fashionable for poor little +me! I am not used to that, and don't care for it. +I'd rather have a little more friendliness and sociability +than all the splendor. I am constantly reminded +of my utter insignificance; and you know, +uncle, poor Blanche is spoiled, as you often say, and +not used to being reduced to a mere nonentity!"</p> + +<p>With this the silly child actually began to cry, +and when I tried to soothe her, only sobbed out, in +broken words: "I wouldn't be such a goose as to +mind it, if Henry Zousky had not been treated so +so, so—<i>so—fash-ion-a-bly</i>!"<a name="Page_198" id="Page_198"></a></p> + +<p>Looking over some letters from a sprightly correspondent +of mine, the other day, I laid aside one from +which I make the following extract, as apposite to +my subject:</p> + +<p>"You asked me to give you some account of the +social position, etc., and an idea of the husband of +your former favorite, M—— S——. 'What is Dr. +J—— like?' you inquire:—Like nothing in heaven +above, or in the earth beneath, I answer; and, therefore, +he might be worshipped without a violation of +the injunction of the Decalogue! How such a vivacious +creature as M—— S—— came to tie herself +for life to such a mule, passes my powers of solution. +Dr. J—— is very accomplished in his profession, for +a young man, I hear, and much respected for his +professional capacity—but socially he is—<i>nothing!</i>—the +merest cipher conceivable! A man may be +<i>very quiet</i> at home, now-a-days, and yet pass muster; +but there are times when he <i>must act</i>, as it seems to +me; but M——'s husband seems to be a <i>man of one +idea</i>, and that never, seemingly, suggests the duties +of host. But you shall judge for yourself.—While +I was in A——, we were all invited there one +evening, to meet a bride, an old friend of M——'s, +stopping in town on her marriage tour. M—— +said it was too early in the season for a large party, +and that we were expected quite <i>en famille</i>; but it +was, in reality, quite an occasion, nevertheless, as +the bride and her party were fashionable Bostonians. +I happened to be near the hostess, when <i>the</i> guests<a name="Page_199" id="Page_199"></a> +of the evening entered. She received them with +her usual <i>Frenchy</i> ease and playfulness of manner, +and it seemed that the gentleman was an old friend +of hers, but did not know her husband. He expressed +the hope that Dr. J——'s professional duties +would not deprive them of his society the whole +evening, as he much desired the pleasure of his +acquaintance. I saw, by the heightening of her +color, that M——, woman of the world though she +be, felt the unintended sarcasm of this polite language; +for Dr. J. was calmly ensconced in the deep +recess of a large <i>fauteuil</i> in the corner of the fire-place, +apparently enjoying the glowing coal-fire +that always adds its cheerful influence to the elegant +belongings of M——'s splendid drawing-room. +Throughout the entire evening our effigy of a host +kept his post, where we found him on entering. +People went to him, chatted a while, and moved +away; we danced, refreshments were served, wine +was quaffed,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem"><a name="tn_png_199"></a><!--TN: Double quote removed before "'All"-->'All went merry as a marriage bell;'</p> + +<p class="continue">M—— glided about from group to group, with an +appropriate word, or courteous attention for each +one, and, in addition to the flowers that adorned the +rooms, presented the bride of her old friend with an +exquisite bouquet, saying, in her pretty way, that +she would have been delighted to receive her in a +bower of roses, when she learned from Mr. —— how +much she liked flowers, but that Flora was in a pet +with her since she had given up her old conservatory<a name="Page_200" id="Page_200"></a> +at her father's. As the evening waned, I observed +her weariness, despite the hospitable smile; and well +she might be! Several times she slipped away to +her babe; once, when I stood near her, she started +slightly: <a name="tn_png_200"></a><!--TN: Double quote changed to a single quote before "I"-->'I thought I heard a <a name="tn_png_200a"></a><!--TN: Double quote changed to a single quote after "nursery-cry"--><i>nursery-cry</i>,' she +whispered to me, <a name="tn_png_200b"></a><!--TN: Double quote changed to a single quote before "my"-->'my little boy is not well <a name="tn_png_200c"></a><!--TN: Double quote changed to a single quote after "to-night"-->to-night;' +and I missed her soon after. When I went +away, I, of course, sought the master of the house +to say good-night. He half rose, with a half smile, +in recognition of my adieu, and re-settled himself, +apparently wholly unconscious of any possible occasion +for further effort! But the climax, in true +epic style, was reserved for the <i>finale</i>. It was a +frightfully stormy night, and when we came down +to the street door to go away, there stood M——, in +her thin dress, the cold wind and sleet-rain rushing +in when the door was opened, enough to carry away +her fairy figure, <i>seeing off her friend and his bride</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"My dear Miss C——," exclaimed a gentleman +after listening to the complaint of a lady who had +just been charging the lords of creation with the +habitual discourtesy of retaining their hats when +speaking to ladies, in stores and shops, as well as in +public halls and even in the drawing-room; "My +dear Miss C——, don't you know that 'Young +America' <i>always wears his hat and boots whenever +he can</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Does he <i>sleep in them</i>?" inquired the lady.<a name="Page_201" id="Page_201"></a></p> + +<p>"Well, my dears," I overheard a high-bred and +exceedingly handsome man inquiring of two lovely +English girls, on board a steamer the other day, +"how did you succeed in your efforts to dine to-day? +I will not again permit you to be separated from +your aunt and me, if we find the table ever so +crowded."</p> + +<p>"But we had Charley, you know, sir," returned +one of the fair interlocutors, with a smile worthy of +Hebe herself.</p> + +<p>"True, but Charley is only a child; and boys as +well as women fare ill at public tables in this 'land +of liberty and equality,' unless aided by some powerful +assistant!"</p> + +<p>"I thought we had found such a champion +to-day," exclaimed the other lady, "in the person +who sat next me at dinner. His hands were so nice +that I should not have objected in the least to his +offering me such dishes as were within his reach, +especially as there seemed to be no servant to attend +us, and we really sat half through the first course +without bread or water. Having nothing else to do, +for some time, I quietly amused myself with +observing my courteous neighbor. So wholly absorbed +did he seem in his own contemplations, so +utterly oblivious of everything around him, except +the contents of his heaped-up plate, that I soon +became convinced that I had the honor to be in +close proximity to a philosopher, at least, and<a name="Page_202" id="Page_202"></a> +probably to some fixed star in the realms of +science!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Clare! I am so sorry to tell you, but I +learned afterwards, accidentally, that your profound-looking +neighbor is—<i>a dentist</i>!"</p> + +<p>"And, therefore, accustomed only to the <i>most +painful associations with the mouths of others</i>!" +chimed in the aristocrat, laughing in chorus: +"Well, as our shrewd, sensible friend, the daughter +of the Siddons, used to say, after her return from +America, 'if the Americans profess to be all <i>equal</i>, +they should be <i>equally well bred</i>!'"</p> + +<p>With a repetition of this doubly sarcastic apothegm, +my dear friends, for the present,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">Adieu!<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Harry Lunettes.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VII" id="LETTER_VII"></a>LETTER VII.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">HEALTH, THE TOILET, ETC.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">Since</span> no man can fulfill his destiny as an +actively-useful member of society without <i>Health</i>, +perhaps a few practical suggestions on this important +subject may not be inconsistent with our present +purpose.</p> + +<p>The only reliable foundation upon which to base +the hope of securing permanent possession of this +greatest of earthly blessings, is the early acquisition +of <i>Habits of Temperance</i>.</p> + +<p>In a proper sense of the word, Temperance is an +all-inclusive term—it does not mean abstaining from +strong drink, only, nor from over-eating, nor from +any one form of self-indulgence or dissipation; but +it requires <i>moderation in all things</i>, for its full +illustration.</p> + +<p>It was this apprehension of the term that was +truthfully exhibited in the long, useful, consistent +life of our distinguished countryman, John Quincy +Adams. Habits formed in boyhood, in strict accord<a name="Page_204" id="Page_204"></a>ance +with this principle, and adhered to in every +varying phase of circumstance throughout his prolonged +existence, were the proximate cause of his +successful and admirable career. And what a career! +How triumphantly successful, how worthy of +admiration! More than half a century did he +serve his country, at home and abroad, dying +at last, with his armor on,—a watchman, faithful, +even unto death, upon the ramparts of the Citadel, +where Justice, Truth, and Freedom have found a last +asylum. Think you that the intellectual and moral +purposes of his being could have been borne out +by the most resolute exercise of will, but for the +judicious training of the <i>physique</i>? Or could the +higher attributes of his nature have been developed, +indeed, in conjunction with a body 'cabined, cribbed +and confined' by the enervating influence of youthful +self-indulgence? Born on—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Stern New-England's rocky shore,"</p> + +<p class="continue">no misnamed luxury shrouded his frame from the +discipline of that Teacher, "around whose steps the +mountain breezes blow, and from whose countenance +all the virtues gather strength." You are, doubtless, +all familiar with Mr. Adams' habits of early rising, +bathing, etc. The latter, even, he maintained until +within two years of his death, bathing in an open +stream each morning, if his locality permitted the +enjoyment, at a very early hour. I have his own +authority for the fact that he, during the different +periods of his public sojourn abroad, laved his<a name="Page_205" id="Page_205"></a> +vigorous frame in almost every river of Europe! +Franklin, too, ascribed his triumph over the obstacles +that obstructed his early path to a strict adherence +to the rules of Temperance. And so, indeed, with +most of the truly great men whose names illumine +the pages of our country's history:—I might multiply +examples almost <i>ad infinitum</i>, but your own +reading will enable you to endorse the correctness of +my assertion.</p> + +<p>Since we have, incidentally, alluded to the <i>Bath</i>, in +connection with the example of Mr. Adams, let us +commence the consideration of personal habits, with +this agreeable and essential accessory of Health.</p> + +<p>Though authorities may differ respecting some +minor details with regard to bathing, I believe medical +testimony all goes to sanction its adoption by +all persons, in some one of its modifications. Constitutional +peculiarities should always be consulted +in the establishment of individual rules,—hence no +general directions can be made applicable to all persons. +The cold bath, though that most frequently +adopted by persons in health, is, no doubt, injurious +in some cases, and careful observation alone can +enable each individual to establish the precise temperature +at which his ablutions will be most beneficial.</p> + +<p>But, while the most scrupulous and unvarying +regard for cleanliness should be considered of +primary importance, the indiscreet use of the bath +should be avoided with equal care. Bishop Heber, +one of the best and most useful of men, sacrificed<a name="Page_206" id="Page_206"></a> +himself in the midst of a career of eminent piety, to +an imprudent use of this luxury, arising either from +ignorance or inadvertency. After rising very early +to baptize several native converts recently made in +India, the field of his labors, he returned to his bungalow +in a state of exhaustion from excitement and +abstinence, and, without taking any nourishment, +threw himself into a bath, and soon after expired!—No +one can safely resort to the bath when the bodily +powers are much weakened, by whatever cause; +and though it is unwise to use it directly after taking +a full meal, it should not immediately precede the +chief meal of the day, if that be taken at a late hour, +and after prolonged abstinence and exertion.</p> + +<p>The <i>art of swimming</i> early acquired, affords the +most agreeable and beneficial mode of bathing, not +to dwell upon its numerous recommendations in other +respects; but when this enjoyment cannot be secured, +nor even the luxury of an immersion bath, luckily for +health, comfort, and propriety, the means of <i>sponge +bathing</i> may always be secured, at least in this +country (wherever it has risen above barbarism), +though I must say that frequently during my travels +in England, and even through towns boasting good +hotels, I found water and towels at a high premium, +and very difficult of acquisition at that! Sponging +the whole person upon rising, either in cold or tepid +water, as individual experience proves best, with the +use of the Turkish towel, or some similar mode of +friction, is one of the best preparations for a day of +useful exertion.<a name="Page_207" id="Page_207"></a></p> + +<p>This practice has collateral advantages, inasmuch +as it naturally leads to attention to all the details of +the toilet essentially connected with refinement and +health—to proper care of the Hair, Teeth, Nails, etc.,—in +short, to a neat and suitable arrangement of the +dress before leaving one's apartment in the morning. +To slippered age belongs the indulgence of a careless +morning toilet; but with the morning of life we properly +associate readiness for action in some pursuit +demanding steady and prolonged exertion, early +begun, and with every faculty and attribute in full +exercise.</p> + +<p>Fashion sanctions so many varying modes of wearing +or not wearing the <i>hair</i>, that no directions can be +given in relation to it, except such as enjoin the avoidance +of all fantastic dressing, and the observance of +entire neatness with relation to it. Careful brushing, +together with occasional ablutions, will best preserve +this natural ornament; and I would, also, suggest the +use of such <i>pomades</i> only as are most delicately +scented. No gentleman should go about like a +walking perfumer's shop, redolent, not of—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Sabean odors from the spicy shores<br></span> +<span class="i2">Of Araby the Blest,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">but of spirits of turpentine, musk, etc., 'commixed +and commingled' in 'confusion worse confounded' +to all persons possessed of a nicety of nervous organization. +All perfumes for the handkerchiefs, or worn +about the person, should be, not only of the most +unexceptionable kind, but used in very moderate<a name="Page_208" id="Page_208"></a> +quantities. Their profuse use will ill supply the +neglect of the bath, or of the proper care of the teeth +and general toilet.</p> + +<p>The <i>Teeth</i> cannot be too carefully attended to by +those who value good looks, as well as health. And +nothing tends more towards their preservation than +the habitual use of the brush, before retiring, as well +as in the morning. The use of some simple uninjurious +adjunct to the brush may be well; but pure +water and the brush, faithfully applied, will secure +cleanliness—the great preservative of these essential +concomitants of manly beauty. If you use tobacco—(and +I fervently hope none of you who have not +the habit will ever allow yourselves to acquire it!)—but +if you are, unfortunately, enslaved by the +habit, never omit to rinse the mouth thoroughly +after smoking (I will not admit the possibility, that +any <i>young man</i>, in this age of progressive refinement, +is addicted to habitual <i>chewing</i>), and never substitute +the use of a strong odor for this proper observance, +especially when going into the society of +ladies. Smoke dispellers must yield the palm to the +purifying effects of the unadulterated element, after +all.</p> + +<p>The utmost nicety in the care of the <i>Nails</i>, is an +indispensable part of a gentleman's toilet. They +should be kept of a moderate length, as well as clean +and smooth. Avoid all absurd forms, and inconvenient +length, in cutting them, which you will find it +easiest to do neatly while they are softened by washing, +and the use of the nail-brush.<a name="Page_209" id="Page_209"></a></p> + +<p>Properly fitted boots and shoes, together with frequent +bathing, will best secure <i>the feet</i> from the +torturing excrescences by which poor mortals are +so often afflicted. The addition of <i>salt</i> to the foot-bath, +if persevered in, will greatly protect them from +the painful effects of over-walking, etc.</p> + +<p>I think that under the head of Dress, in one of my +earliest letters, I expressed my opinion regarding +the essentials of refinement and comfort as connected +with this branch of the toilet. I will only +say, in this connection, that a liberal supply of linen, +hosiery, etc., should be regarded as of more importance +than outside display, and that the most enlightened +economy suggests the employment of +the best materials, the most skillful manufacturers, +and the unrestrained use of these "aids and appliances" +of gentleman-like propriety, comfort, and +health.</p> + +<p>The best and surest mode of securing ample and +certain leisure for needful attention to the minutiæ of +the toilet is <i>Early Rising</i>, a habit that, in addition to +the healthful influence it exerts upon the physique, +collaterally, promotes the minor moralities of life in +a wonderful degree, and really is one of the fundamentals +of success in whatever pursuit you may be +engaged. Here, again, permit me to refer you to +the examples of the truly great men of history—those +of our own land will suffice—Washington, Franklin, +Adams, and, though inconsistent with his habits +in some other respects, Webster. Of the latter, it is +well known, that he did not trim the midnight lamp<a name="Page_210" id="Page_210"></a> +for purposes of professional investigation or mental +labor of any kind, but rose early to such tasks, with +body and mind invigorated for ready and successful +exertion. I have seen few things from his powerful +pen, more pleasingly written than his <i>Eulogy upon +Morning</i>, as it may properly be called, though I +don't know that to be the title of an article written +by him in favor of our present theme, in which +erudition and pure taste contend for supremacy with +convincing argument.</p> + +<p>But to secure the full benefit of <i>early rising</i>, my +young friends, you must also, establish the habit of +<i>retiring early</i> and regularly. No one dogma of +medical science, perhaps, is more fully borne out by +universal experience than this, that "two hours' +sleep before midnight is worth all obtained afterwards." +To seek repose before the system is +too far over-taxed for quiet, refreshing rest, and +before the brain has been aroused from the quiescence +natural to the evening hours, into renewed +and unhealthy action, is most consistent with the +laws of health. And, depend upon it, though the +elasticity of youthful constitutions may, for a time, +resist the pernicious effects of a violation of these +laws, the hour will assuredly come, sooner or later, to +all, when the <i>lex talionis</i> will be felt in resistless +power. Fashion and Nature are sadly at war on this +point, as I am fully aware; but the edicts of the one +are immutable, those of the other are proverbially +fickle.</p> + +<p>Students, especially, should regard obedience to<a name="Page_211" id="Page_211"></a> +the wiser of the two as imperative. The mental +powers, as well as the physical, demand this—the +"<i>mind's eye</i>" as well as the organs of outward vision, +will be found, by experiment, to possess the clearer +and quicker discernment during those hours when, +throughout the domains of Nature, all is activity, +healthfulness and visible beauty. And no peculiarity +of circumstance or inclination will ever make +that healthful which is <i>unnatural</i>. Hence the wisdom +of <i>establishing habits</i> consistent with health, +while no obstacle exists to their easy acquisition. +There is an experiment on record made by two +generals, each at the head of an army on march, in +warm weather, over the same route. The one led +on his troops by day, the other chose the cooler +hours for advancing, and reposed while the sun was +abroad. In all other respects, their arrangements +were similar. At the end of ten or twelve days, the +result convincingly proved that exertion even under +mid-summer heat is most healthfully made while the +stimulus of solar light sustains the system, and that +sleep is most refreshing and beneficial in all respects +when sought while the hush and obscurity of the +outer world assist repose.</p> + +<p>But if, as the nursery doggerel wisely declares,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Early to bed and early to rise,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">there must be united with this rational habit, others +each equally important to the full advantage to be +derived from all combined.<a name="Page_212" id="Page_212"></a></p> + +<p>Among these, <i>Exercise</i> holds a prominent <a name="tn_png_212"></a><!--TN: Period added after "rank"-->rank. +As with the bath, this is most effectually employed +for health before the system is exhausted by mental +labor.</p> + +<p>Among the numerous modes of exercise, none is so +completely at command at all times and under all +circumstances, as <i>walking</i>. But the full benefit of +this exercise, is not often enjoyed by the inhabitants +of cities, by reason of the impure air that is almost +necessarily inhaled in connection with it. Still, it is +not impossible to obviate this difficulty by a little +pains. The <i>early riser</i> and the <i>rapid pedestrian</i> may +in general, easily secure time to seek daily one of +the few and limited breathing-places that, though in +this regard we are vastly inferior to Europeans in taste +and good sense, even our American cities supply, +either, like what they indeed are, <i>lungs</i>, in the very +centre of activity, or at no unapproachable distance +from it. Do not forget that vegetation, while it +sends forth noxious influences <i>at night</i>, exales oxygen +and other needful food for vitality, <i>in the +morning</i>, especially; nor that an erect carriage, +which alone gives unobstructed play to the organs of +respiration and digestion, is requisite, together with +considerable activity of movement, to secure the +legitimate results of walking.</p> + +<p>Students, and others whose occupations are of a +sedentary character, sometimes adopt the practice +of taking a long walk periodically. This is, no +doubt, promotive of health, provided it is not at first +carried to an extreme. All such habits should be<a name="Page_213" id="Page_213"></a> +gradually formed, and their formation commenced +and pursued with due respect for physiological rules. +Mr. Combe, the distinguished phrenologist—in his +"Constitution of Man," I think, relates an instance +of a young person, in infirm health and unaccustomed +to such exertion, who undertook a walk of twenty +miles, to be accomplished without interruption. +The first seven or eight miles were achieved with +ease and pleasure to the pedestrian, but thenceforth +discomfort and final exhaustion should have been a +sufficient warning to the tyro to desist from his self-appointed +task. A severe illness was the consequence +and punishment of his ignorant violation of +physiological laws.</p> + +<p>By the way, I cannot too strongly recommend to +your careful perusal the various works of Dr. Andrew +Combe, long the physician of the amiable King of +Belgium, in relation to that and kindred subjects. +His "Physiology as applied to Mental Health," is +replete with practical suggestions and advice of the +most instructive and important nature, as are also +his "Dietetics," etc.</p> + +<p>Himself an incurable invalid, he maintained the +vital forces through many years of eminent usefulness +to others, only by dint of the most strenuous +adherence to the strictest requirements of the Science +of the Physique. The writings of his brother, Mr. +George Combe, and especially the work I have just +mentioned, the "Constitution of Man," also abound +in lessons of practical usefulness, which may be +adopted irrespective of his peculiar phrenological<a name="Page_214" id="Page_214"></a> +views. In the multitude of newer publications these +admirable books are already half-forgotten, but my +limited reading has afforded me no knowledge of +anything superior to them, as text-books for the +young.</p> + +<p><i>Riding</i> and <i>driving</i> need no recommendation to +insure their popularity, as means of exercise. Both +have many pleasure and health-giving attractions.</p> + +<p>Every young man should endeavor to acquire a +thorough knowledge of both riding and driving, not +from a desire to emulate the ignoble <a name="tn_png_214"></a><!--TN: "achievments" changed to "achievements"-->achievements of +a horse-jockey, but as proper <i>accomplishments</i> for a +gentleman.</p> + +<p>The possession of a fine horse is a prolific source +of high and innocent enjoyment, and may often be +secured by those whose purses are not taxed for +<i>cigars and wine</i>! Nothing can be more exhilarating +than the successful management of this spirited and +generous animal, whether under the saddle or in harness! +Even plethoric, ponderous old Dr. Johnson, +admitted that "few things are so exciting as to be +drawn rapidly along in a post-chaise, over a smooth +road, by a fine horse!"</p> + +<p>Let me repeat, however, that young men should +be content to promote health and enjoyment by the +moderate, gentleman-like gratification of the pride +of skill, in this respect. Like many other amusements, +though entirely innocent and unexceptionable +when reasonably indulged in, its abuse +leads inevitably to the most debasing consequences.—Our +dusty high-roads very ill supply the place of<a name="Page_215" id="Page_215"></a> +the extensive public Parks and gardens that furnish +such agreeable places of resort for both riding and +driving, as well as for pedestrians, in most of the large +cities of Europe, but one may, at least, secure better +air and more freedom of space by resorting to them +than to the streets, for every form of exercise. And +as it is a well established fact that agreeable and +novel associations for both the eye and the mind are +essential concomitants of beneficial exercise, we have +every practical consideration united to good taste in +favor of eschewing the streets whenever fate permits.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Oh! how canst thou renounce the boundless store<br></span> +<span class="i0">Of charms which Nature to her votaries yields,—<br></span> +<span class="i0">The warbling woodland, the resounding shore,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The pomp of groves and garniture of fields;<br></span> +<span class="i0">All that the genial ray of morning gilds,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And all that echoes to the song of even,<br></span> +<span class="i0">All that the mountain's sheltering bosom shields,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And all the dread magnificence of Heaven;—<br></span> +<span class="i0">O! how canst thou renounce and hope to be forgiven!"<br></span> +<span class="i0"><span class="keepright smcap" style="text-align:right;">Beattie<br></span></span> +</div></div> + +<p style="padding-top:.75em;"><i>Eating</i> and <i>drinking</i> are too closely connected +with our general subject of health, to be forgotten +here.</p> + +<p>That regard for Temperance which I have endeavored +to commend to you, of course yields a prominent +place to habits in these respects.</p> + +<p>In relation to <i>eating</i>, I strongly recommend the +cultivation of <i>simple tastes</i>, and the careful avoidance +of every indulgence tending towards <a name="tn_png_215"></a><!--TN: Period added after "sensuality"-->sensuality.</p> +<p><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216"></a>Some knowledge of <i>Dietetics</i> is essential to the adoption +of right opinions and practice on this point. +For instance, no man should wait for dire experience +to enforce the truths that roast and broiled meats +possess the most nutritious qualities; that all <i>fried</i> +dishes are, necessarily, more or less unwholesome; +that animal oils and fatty substances require stronger +digestive force for their assimilation than persons of +sedentary life usually possess; that warm bread, as a +rule, is unsuited to the human stomach, etc., etc. +No one should consider these matters unworthy of +serious attention, though temporarily free from inconvenience +arising from neglecting them. Eventually, +every human constitution will exhibit painful proofs +of all outrages committed upon the laws by which +its operations are governed; and the greater the +license permitted in youth, the severer will be the +penalty exacted in after years.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"Mind and Body are so close combined,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Where Health of Body, Health of Mind you find."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Preserve, then, as you value the means of usefulness, +the perfect play of your mental powers—so +easily trammelled by the clogging of the machinery +of the body—the unadulterated taste that is content +with a sufficiency of wholesome, well-cooked food to +satisfy the demands of healthful appetite. Cultivate +no love of condiments, sauces and stimulants; indulge +no ambition to excel in dressing salads, classifying +<i>ragouts</i>, or in demonstrating, down to the nicety of<a name="Page_217" id="Page_217"></a> +a single ingredient, the distinction between a home-made +and an imported <i>pâté de foie gras</i>! Distinctions +such as these may suffice for the worn-out +society of a corrupt civilization, but our countrymen—<span class="smcap">MEN</span>—should +shout <span class="smcap">Excelsior</span>!</p> + +<p>Abstract rules in relations to the hours proper for +taking meals, however carefully adapted to the security +of health, in themselves considered, must, of +necessity, give place to those artificially imposed by +custom and convenience. Thus, though the practice +of <i>dining late</i> is not sanctioned by Hygeia, it admits +of question, whether, as the usages of the business-world +at present exists, it is not a wiser custom than +any other permitted by circumstance.</p> + +<p>All who have given any attention to the subject +know, that neither bodily nor mental labor +can be either comfortably or successfully pursued +directly after a full meal. Hence, then, those whose +occupations require their attention during several +successive hours, may find the habit of dining after +the more imperative labors of the day are accomplished, +most conducive to health as well as convenience.</p> + +<p>Still, it should not be forgotten, that long abstinence +is likely to produce the exhaustion that tells +so surely and seriously upon the constitution, of +young persons especially. This may be prevented +by taking, systematically, a little light, simple +nutriment, sufficient to produce what is aptly +termed the <i>stimulus of distention</i> in that much<a name="Page_218" id="Page_218"></a> +abused organ—the stomach. This practice regularly +adhered to, will also promote a collateral advantage, +by acting as a security against the too keen sharpening +of appetite that tends to repletion in eating, +and which sometimes produces results similar to +those exhibited by a boa-constrictor after dining +upon a whole buffalo, swallowed without the previous +ceremony of carving! One should never dine +so heartily as to be unfitted for the subsequent +enjoyment of society, or of the lighter pursuits of +literature. <i>Deliberate and thorough mastication</i> will +more beneficially, and quite as pleasurably, prolong +the enjoyments of the table, as a more hurried +disposal of a large quantity of food. And really I +do not know how the most rigid economist of time, +or the most self-sacrificing devotee either of Mammon +or of Literature, can more judiciously devote +an hour of each day than to the single purpose of +<i>dining</i>!</p> + +<p>Happily for those whose self-respect does not +always furnish the sustaining power requisite for +the maintenance of a principle, fashion no longer +requires of any man the use of even <i>wine</i>, much +less of stronger beverages. And with reference to +the use of all alcoholic stimulants, as well as of +tobacco, I would remind you that <i>those only who are +not enslaved by appetite, are</i> <span class="smcap">FREE</span>! If you have +acquired a liking for wine or tobacco, and would +abjure either, or both, you will soon be convinced, +by experiment, of the truth of Dr. Johnson's saying,<a name="Page_219" id="Page_219"></a> +of which, by the way, his own life furnished a +striking illustration, that "<i>abstinence is easier than +temperance</i>."</p> + +<p>To prolong arguments against the habits of smoking +and drinking, were a work of supererogation, +here. I will advance but one, which may, possibly, +possess the merit of novelty. Both have the effect, +materially to limit our enjoyment of the presence +and conversation of</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Heaven's last, best gift to man!"</p> + +<p>I cannot better dismiss this important topic than +by quoting the following passage from the writings +of Sir Walter Raleigh:</p> + +<p>"Except thou desire to hasten thy end, take this +for a general rule—that thou never add any artificial +heat to thy body by wine or spice, until thou +find that time hath decayed thy natural heat; the +sooner thou dost begin to help nature the sooner she +will forsake thee, and leave thee to trust altogether +to art."</p> + +<p>In my youth, advice to young men was constantly +commingled—whatever its general tenor—with admonitions +regarding the necessity for industry and +perseverance in those who would achieve worldly +success. In these utilitarian times, when all seem +borne along upon a resistless current, hurrying to +the attainment of some practical end, engrossed by +schemes of political ambition, or devoted to the +acquisition of wealth, a quiet looker-on—as I am +wont to regard myself—is tempted to counsel<a name="Page_220" id="Page_220"></a> +"moderation in all things," contentment with the +legitimate results of honorable effort, the cultivation +of habits of daily relaxation from the severity of +toil, of daily rest from the mental tension that is +demanded for successful competition in the arena of +life.</p> + +<p>The impression that <i>sleep</i> is a sufficient restorative +from the wearing effects of otherwise ceaseless labor, +or that <i>change of occupation</i> furnishes all the relief +that nature requires in this respect, is, undoubtedly, +erroneous. "The man," says an eminent student of +humanity, "who does not now allow himself two +hours for relaxation after dinner, will be <i>compelled</i> +to devote more time than that daily to the care of +his health, eventually."</p> + +<p>To allow one's self to be so engrossed by any +pursuit, however laudable in itself, as to reserve no +leisure for the claims of Society, of Friendship, of +Taste, is so irrational as to need nothing but reflection +to render it apparent. In a merely utilitarian +view, it is unwise, since, as Æsop has demonstrated, +the bow that is never unbent soon ceases to be fit +for use; but there is, surely, a higher consideration, +addressed to the reason of man. Pope embodies it, +in part, in the lines</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"God is paid when man receives,<br></span> +<span class="i4"><i>To enjoy is to obey</i>!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>To have an aim, a purpose in life, sufficiently engrossing +to act as an incentive to the exercise of all +the powers of being, is essential to <a name="tn_png_220"></a><!--TN: "heath" changed to "health"-->health and happi<a name="Page_221" id="Page_221"></a>ness. +But to pursue any one object to the exclusion +of all considerations for self-culture and intellectual +enjoyment, is destructive of everything +worthy that name.</p> + +<p>They who devote all the exertions of youth and +manhood to the acquisition of political distinction, or +of gold, for instance—cherishing, meanwhile, a sort +of Arcadian dream of ultimately enjoying the pleasures +of intellectual communion, or the charms of +the natural world, when the heat and burden of the +conflict of life shall be done—exhibit a most deplorable +ignorance of the truth that they will possess in +age only the crippled capacities that disuse has +almost wholly robbed of vitality, together with such +as are prematurely worn out by being habitually +overtaxed.</p> + +<p>On the contrary, those who believe that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"It is not all of life to live,"</p> + +<p class="continue">and early establish a true standard of excellence, and +acquaint themselves with the immutable laws of our +being, will so commingle self-ennobling pursuits and +enjoyments with industrious and well-directed attention +to the needful demands of practical life, as to +secure as much of <i>ever-present happiness</i> as falls to +the lot of humanity, together with the enviable +retrospection of an exalted ambition, rightly fulfilled. +They may also hope for the invaluable possession of +intellectual and moral developments to be matured +in that state of existence of which this is but the +embryo. These are truisms, I admit, my young<a name="Page_222" id="Page_222"></a> +friends, yet the spirit of the age impels their iteration +and re-iteration!</p> + +<p>Burke's musical periods lamented the departure +of the "age of chivalry." Would that one gifted as +he may revive the waning existence of the social +and domestic virtues, and inspire my young countrymen +with an ambition too lofty in its aspirations +to permit the sacrifice of mental and moral powers, +of natural affections, and immortal aspirations, upon +the altars of Mammon!—shrines now yearly receiving +from our country a holocaust of sacrifices, to +which battle-fields are as naught in comparison.</p> + +<p>But to return from this unpremeditated digression. +Natural tastes and individual circumstances must, +to a considerable extent, determine the relaxations +and amusements most conducive to enjoyment and +health.</p> + +<p>You will scarcely need to be told that persons of +sedentary habits, and especially those devoted to +literary occupations, should make <i>exercise in the +open air</i> a daily recreation, and that it will best +subserve the purposes of pleasure and health when +united with the advantages arising from <i>cheerful +companionship</i>.</p> + +<p>Hence the superiority of walking, riding, driving, +boating, and sporting in its various forms, to all in-door +exercises and amusements—and especially to +those tending rather to tax the brain than exercise +the body—for those whose mental powers are most +taxed by their avocations.<a name="Page_223" id="Page_223"></a></p> + +<p>On the other hand, there are those to whom the +lighter investigations of literature and science afford +the most appropriate relief from the toils of business.</p> + +<p>Permit me, however, to enter my protest against +the belief that a change from the labors and duties +of city life to the close sleeping-rooms, the artificiality +and excitement of a fashionable watering-place +affords a proper and healthful relief to a weary body +and an overwrought brain. Life at a watering-place +is no more an equivalent for the pure air, the +simple habits, the wholesome food, the <i>repose of +mind and heart</i>, afforded by unadulterated country +life, than immersion in a bathing-tub is a satisfactory +substitute for swimming in a living stream, or +a contemplation of the most exquisite picture of +rural scenes, for a glorious canter amid green fields +and over breezy hills! Nor will dancing half the +night in heated rooms, late suppers, bowling-alleys +and billiards, not to speak of still more objectionable +indulgences, restore these devotees to study or business +to their city-homes re-invigorated for renewed +action, as will the least laborious employments of the +farmer, the "sportive toil" of the naturalist, the +varied enjoyments of the traveller amid the wonders +of our vast primeval forests, or of the voyager +who explores the attractions of our unrivalled chain +of inland lakes. People who do their thinking by +proxy, and regulate their enjoyments by the <i>on dit</i> +of the fashionable world, yearly spend money enough +at some crowded resort of the <i>beau monde</i> (heaven +save the mark!) to enable them to make the tour of<a name="Page_224" id="Page_224"></a> +Europe, or buy a pretty villa and grounds in the +country, or do some deed "twice blessed," in that +"it blesseth him that gives and him that takes." +In Scotland, in England, in the North of Europe generally, +men and women whose social position necessarily +involves refinement of habits and education, +go, in little congenial parties, into the mountains +and among the lakes, visit spots renowned in song +and story, collect specimens of the wonders of nature, +"camp out," as they say at the West, eat simply, +dress rationally—in short, <i>really rusticate</i>, in +happy independence alike of the thraldom of fashion +and the supremacy of convention. Thus in the Old +World, among the learned, the accomplished, the +high-born. Here in Young America—let the sallow +cheek, the attenuated limbs, the dull eye and <i>blasé</i> +air of the youthful scions of many a noble old Revolutionary +stock, attest only too truly, a treasonous +slavery to the most arbitrary and remorseless of +tyrants! Would that they may serve, at least, as +beacons to warn you, seasonably, against adding +yourselves to the denizens of haunts where</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Unwieldly wealth, and cumbrous pomp repose;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And every want to luxury allied,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And every pang that <i>folly pays to pride</i>!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I would that all my young countrymen might +have looked upon the last hours of my revered +friend, John Quincy Adams, and thus learned the<a name="Page_225" id="Page_225"></a> +impressive lessons taught by that solemn scene; +lessons that—to use his own appropriate language—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i2">——"bid us seize the moments as they pass,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Snatch the retrieveless sun-beam as it flies,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Nor lose one sand of life's revolving glass—<br></span> +<span class="i4">Aspiring still, with energy sublime,<br></span> +<span class="i4">By virtuous deeds to give <i>Eternity to Time</i>!"<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a><br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>It was, indeed, a fitting close of his long, noble +life! Faithful to his duty to his country, he maintained +his post to the last, and fell, like a true defender +of liberty—renouncing his weapons only with +his life. Borne from the arena of senatorial strife to +a couch hastily prepared beneath the same roof that +had so often echoed his words of dauntless eloquence, +attended by mourning friends, and receiving +the tender ministrations of the companion alike +of his earlier and later manhood, the flickering lamp +of life slowly expired. After, apparently, reviewing +the lengthened retrospection of a temperate, rational, +useful life, from the boyish years</p> + +<p class="centerpoem"><a name="tn_png_225"></a><!--TN: Single quotes changed to double quotes around this quotation-->"Whose distant footsteps echoed through the corridors of Time,"</p> + +<p class="continue">to the dying efforts of genius and patriotism, the +hushed stillness of that hallowed chamber at length +rendered audible the sublime words—"<span class="smcap">It is the +last of Earth! I am content!</span>"</p> + +<a name="Page_226" id="Page_226"></a> +<p>I think it was during the administration of Sir +Charles Bagot, the immediate successor of Lord +Durham, as Governor General of the Canadas, that I +had the pleasure to dine one day, at the house of a +distinguished civilian who held office under him, in +company with the celebrated traveller L——, and +his friend, the well-known E—— G—— W——, a +man who, despite wealth, rank, and talent, paid a +life-long penalty for a youthful error. There were, +also, present several members of the Provincial Parliament, +then in session at Kingston, which was, at +that time, the seat of government, and a number of +ladies—those of the party of Americans with whom +I was travelling, and some others.</p> + +<p>The conversation, very naturally, turned upon the +national peculiarities of the <i>Yankees</i>—as the English +call, not the inhabitants of New England alone, but +the people of the North American States generally—in +consequence of the fact that the world-wide traveller +had just completed his first visit to our country. +Some one asked him a leading question respecting +his impressions of us as a people, and more than one +good-humored sally was given and parried among +us. At length L—— said, so audibly and gravely as +to arrest the attention of the whole company:</p> + +<p>"I have really but two serious faults to charge +upon Jonathan."</p> + +<p>"May we be permitted to inquire what those are?" +returned I.<a name="Page_227" id="Page_227"></a></p> + +<p>"That he <i>repudiates his debts</i>, and <i>doesn't take +time to eat his dinner</i>."</p> + +<p>When the general laugh had subsided, Mr. W—— +remarked that, except when at the best hotels in +the larger cities, he had found less inducement for +dining deliberately in the United States than in most +civilized lands he had visited, in consequence of the +prevalent bad cookery.</p> + +<p>"The words of Goldsmith," said he,—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"'Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends cooks!'</p> + +<p class="continue">were always present to my mind when at table +there! They eschew honest cold roast beef, as +though there were poison in meat but once cooked, +served a second time, though Hamlet is authority for +<i>our</i> taste in that respect.—The cold venison you did +me the honor to compliment so highly, at lunch, this +morning, L——, would have been offered you <i>fried</i> +by our good Yankee cousins!"</p> + +<p>"The patron saint of <i>la cuisine</i> forefend!" cried +a smooth-browed Englishman—"not re-cooked, I +hope?"</p> + +<p>"Assuredly!" returned W——, "I trust these ladies +and Colonel Lunettes will pardon me,—but such infamous +stupidity is quite common. I soon learned, however, +the secret of preserving my "capacious stomach" +in unimpaired capacity for action, [an irresistibly<a name="Page_228" id="Page_228"></a> +comic glance downward upon his portly person] and +could, I thought, very readily explain—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i8">'What is't that takes from <i>them</i><br></span> +<span class="i0">Their stomach, pleasures, and their golden sleep,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Why they do bend their eyes upon the earth,<br></span> +<span class="i0"> * * * * * * * <br></span> +<span class="i0">In thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy!'"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>If the frank denunciations of this eccentric +observer of life and manners might otherwise have +been regarded as impolite, his more severe comments +upon his own countrymen proved, at least, that no +national partiality swayed his judgment.</p> + +<p>I remember his telling me the following anecdote, +as we chatted over our coffee, after joining the ladies +in the evening:—In answer to some inquiry on my +part, respecting the social condition of <i>the people</i>—the +peasantry, as he called them, of the Provinces, +he spoke in unmitigated condemnation of their ignorance, +and especially of their insolence and boorishness. +"Get L—— to tell you," said he, "how nearly +he and his servants were frozen to death one fierce +night, while an infernal gate-keeper opposed his +road-right. Then, again, the other morning, Mrs. +M—— (our hostess) who like every other lady +here, except, perhaps, Lady Bagot, goes to market +every day, was referred by a man, from whom she +inquired for potatoes, to an old crone, with the words—'This +<i>lady</i> sell them,—here is <i>a woman</i> who wants +to buy potatoes!'"</p> + +<p>The following morning, while our American party<a name="Page_229" id="Page_229"></a> +were driving out to the superb Fort that protects the +Harbor of Kingston, to visit which we had been +politely furnished with a permit by an official friend, +I endeavored to draw from a very charming and +accomplished lady the secret of her unusual silence +and reserve at dinner the evening before. She is +really a celebrity, as much for her remarkable conversational +powers, as for any other reason, perhaps, +and I had, therefore, the more regretted her not +joining in the conversation.</p> + +<p>"What made the mystery more difficult of solution," +said one of the other ladies, "was the equally +imperturbable gravity of that handsome Frenchman +who sat beside Virginia."</p> + +<p>"Handsome!" retorted Virginia, "do you call that +man handsome!—his high cheek bones and swarthy +complexion show his Indian blood rather too plainly +for my taste, I must confess."</p> + +<p>"That commingling of races is very common here, +Virginia," said I, "Mr. E—— is a somewhat prominent +member of the Canadian Parliament. I heard +a speech from him, in French, yesterday morning, +which was listened to with marked attention. There +were a number of ladies in the <i>side-boxes</i>, too, and +it is evident from his attention to his dress, if for no +other reason, that Mr. E—— is an <i>élégant</i>!"</p> + +<p>"All that may be," rejoined Virginia, "but I have +no fancy for light blue 'unwhisperables,' as Tom +calls them, nor for ruffled shirts!"</p> + +<p>"<a name="tn_png_229"></a><!--TN: Single quote removed before "A"-->A change has come o'er the spirit of your dream, +most queenly daughter of the 'sunny South!'—is<a name="Page_230" id="Page_230"></a> +this the sprightly <i>Américaine</i> who won all hearts the +other day on the St. Lawrence,—from that magnificent +British officer, to the quiet old priest whose very +beard seemed to laugh, at least"——</p> + +<p>"That, indeed, Col. Lunettes!—but for your ever-ready +gallantry I would exclaim—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">'Man delights me not, nor woman either!'</p> +<p class="continue">but here we are at the entrance of the famous donjon +keep!"</p> + +<p>We spent some time in examining the—to the +ladies—novel attractions of the place. By-and-by, the +fair Virginia, who had strayed off a little by herself, +called to me to come and explain the mode of using a +port-hole to her. In a few minutes, she said, in a low +tone, sitting down, as she spoke upon a dismounted +cannon, "Col. Lunettes, I beg you not to allude again +to that—to the dinner, yesterday, or, at least, to my +embarrassment"——</p> + +<p>"Your embarrassment, my dear girl!" I exclaimed, +"you astonish me! Do explain yourself"——</p> + +<p>"Hush," returned my companion, looking furtively +over her shoulder, "that young Englishman seems +to be engrossing the attention of the rest of the party, +and, perhaps, I shall have time to tell you"——</p> + +<p>"Do, my dear, if anything has annoyed you—surely +so old a friend may claim your confidence."</p> + +<p>"I have heard of the 'son of a gun,'" replied +she, evidently making a strong effort to recall the +natural sprightliness that seemed so singularly to +have deserted her of late; "I don't see why I am<a name="Page_231" id="Page_231"></a> +not the <i>daughter of a gun</i>, at this moment, and so +entitled to be very brave! But about this Mr. +E——, Colonel," she almost whispered, bending her +head so as to screen her face from my observation. +"You know Mrs. M—— called for me the other +morning to go and walk with her alone, because, as +she said, she wanted to talk a little about old times, +when we were in the convent school at C—— +together. Well, as we came to a little "shop," as +she styled it—a hardware store, <i>we</i> should say—she +begged me to go in with her a moment, while she +gave some directions about a hall-stove, saying, with +an apology: "We wives of government officers +here, do all these things, as a matter of course." +While she walked back in the place, I very naturally +remained near the door, amusing myself by +observing what was passing in the street. Presently, +a fine horse arrested my eye, as he came +prancing along. His rider seemed to have some ado +to control him, as I thought, at first, but I suddenly +became aware that he was endeavoring to stop him, +in mid career, and that, when he succeeded—he—I—there +was no mistaking it—his glance almost petrified +me, in short, and I had only just power to turn +quickly in search of Mrs. M——."</p> + +<p>The slight form of the speaker quivered visibly, +and she paused abruptly.</p> + +<p>"Why, my poor child," said I, soothingly, "never +mind it! How can you allow such a thing to distress +you in this way?"</p> + +<p>"If anything of the kind had ever happened to me<a name="Page_232" id="Page_232"></a> +before, I should have thought it my fault, in some +way; but when I got back to our hotel, and +reviewed the whole matter, and—but there come +the rest of the party"—she added, hurriedly. "Do +you wonder now at my manner at the dinner? I +knew his face the moment the man entered the dining +room; and when Mr. M—— introduced him, and +requested him to conduct me, the burning glow that +flashed over his swarthy brow convinced me that +he, too, recognized me. I would sooner have +encountered a basilisk than your elegant, parliamentary +Frenchman!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Doctor, what may I eat?" inquired a dyspeptic +American, who had just received a prescription +from Abernethy—the eccentric and celebrated English +physician.</p> + +<p>"<i>Eat?</i>" thundered the disciple of Galen, "the +poker and tongs, if you will <i>chew them well</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>What a commingling of nations and characters +there was in the little party of which I made one, +on a serene evening, lang-syne, at Constantinople! +We floated gently over the placid bosom of the +sunset-tinted Golden Horn, rowed by four stout +Mussulmans, and bound for that point of the shore of +the Marmora nearest the suburb of Ezoub where<a name="Page_233" id="Page_233"></a> +horses awaited us for a brisk canter of some miles +back to the city. There were, Lord ——, an English +nobleman; a Hungarian refugee; a Yankee sea-captain; +a dark-eyed youth from one of the Greek +Islands; and myself—men severed by birth and education +from communion of thought and feeling, yet +united, for the moment, by a similarity of purpose; +associated by the subtle influence of circumstance, +into a serene commingling of one common nature, +and capacitated for the interchange of impressions +and ideas, at least in an imperfect degree, through +the medium of a strange jargon, compounded originally +of materials as varied as the native languages +of the several individuals composing the group in +our old Turkish <i>Caique</i>, which may have been, for +aught we knew, the identical one that followed +Byron in his Leander-swim!</p> + +<p>The conversation naturally partook in character of +the scene before us:—Near, towered the time-stained +walls of the Seraglio—so long the cradling-place +of successive Sultans, and then furnishing the embryo +of the voluptuous pleasures of their anticipated +paradise. Beyond, rose the ruin-crowned heights, +the domes and minarets of old Stamboul, rich in historic +suggestions, glowing now in the warmly-lingering +smile of the departing day-god,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Not, as in Northern climes, obscurely bright,<br></span> +<span class="i0">But one unclouded blaze of living light!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Before us, in our way over the crystal waters,<a name="Page_234" id="Page_234"></a> +loomed up the gloomy, verdure-draped turrets of the +"Irde Koule" of this oft-rebelling and oft-conquered +seat of Oriental splendor and imperial power. As +with the "Tower" of London, the mere sight of this +now silent and deserted castle, conjured up recollections +replete with deeds of wild romance, and darker +scenes of blood and crime. Around us flowed the +waters whose limpid depths had so oft received the +sack-shrouded form of helpless beauty, when midnight +blackness rivalled the horror of the foul murder +it veiled forever from mortal ken. Argosies and +fleets had been borne upon these waves, whose +names or whose conflicts were of world-wide renown—from +the mythical adventurers of the Golden-Fleece +to the triumphant squadrons of the Osmanlis, +all seemed to float before the eye of fancy!</p> + +<p>From the broken sentences that, for some time, +seemed most expressive of the contemplative mood +engendered both by our surroundings and by the +placidity of the hour, there gradually arose a somewhat +connected discussion of the present condition +of the Ottoman Porte.</p> + +<p>It is not my purpose to inflict upon you a detailed +report of our discourse; but only to relate, +for your amusement, a fragment of it, which somehow +has, strangely enough, floated upwards from +the darkened waters of the past, with sufficient distinctness +to be snatched from the oblivion to which +its utter insignificance might properly consign it.</p> + +<p>"There is not," said the British noble—a man +curious in literature, and a somewhat speculative<a name="Page_235" id="Page_235"></a> +observer of life—"there is not a single purely literary +production in the Turkish language, written by +a living author; not a poem, nor romance, nor essay. +The Koran would almost seem to constitute their all +of earthly lore and heavenly aspiration. What an +anomaly in the biography of modern peoples!"</p> + +<p>This last sentence was addressed especially to the +sea-captain and me, the <i>idiomatical</i> English in which +the passing fancy of the speaker found expression +being wholly unintelligible to all except ourselves.</p> + +<p>"Their total want of a national literature," said +the American, "does not so materially affect my +comfort, I must confess, as the utter absence of +decent civilization in their renowned capital. For +instance, they have not an apology for a night-police +in their confoundedly dark streets, except the infernal +dogs that infest them. The other night, returning +to my quarters, with my 'Ibrahim' pilot in +front with a lantern, I was persuaded, as one of these +'faithful guardians' fastened his glistening ivories +in my boot-top, that, like one of your 'lone stars' at +New York, Colonel Lunettes, he had 'mistaken his +man,' and supposed me to be the returned spirit of +some one of the countless throng of infidel dogs, upon +whom his public education had instructed him to +make war to—<i>the teeth</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Greek, in tones as +musical as his dress and attitude were picturesque, +from the pile of boat cloaks upon which he reposed +in the bow of the boat, and opening his dark eyes till +one saw far down into the dreamy depths of his<a name="Page_236" id="Page_236"></a> +half-slumbering soul through his quick-lit orbs. He +had caught enough of the <i>sense</i> of the captain's nonsense, +to imagine the joke to the full. "Ha, ha, +ha!" laughed he, again, and the shadowy walls of +the blood-stained "Chateau of Seven Towers," by +which we were gliding, gave back the clear, clarion-like +tone; "but, while this brave <i>fils de la mer</i><a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> thus +sports with the terrors of my country's enslaver +[here a frown, deep, dark, threatening, and a quick +clenching of the jewelled handle of the yataghan he +wore in his belt], the gates of fair Stamboul will +close, and nor foe, nor Frank, nor friend, be given to +the dogs."</p> + +<p>"By thunder!" shouted the American, shaking +himself up, as if at sea, with a suspicious sail in +sight, "he is more than half right. Would you have +thought it so late?"</p> + +<p>"Even a Yankee, like Captain ——, a fair representative +of the <a name="tn_png_236"></a><!--TN: "univeral" changed to "universal"-->'universal nation,' learns to dream +and linger here," responded the Englishman, good-humoredly.</p> + +<p>Upon this, I made use of the little knowledge I +possessed of the Turkish, to interrogate our <i>Caidjis</i> +respecting the time further required to reach our +landing-place.</p> + +<p>"Allah is great, and Mohammed is his Prophet!" +was all I could fully apprehend of his slowly-delivered +reply.</p> + +<p>It was now the captain's turn to laugh, and as his<a name="Page_237" id="Page_237"></a> +sonorous peal rippled over the Marmora, he quietly +insinuated his fore-finger and thumb into the disengaged +palm of the devout Mussulman I had so +touchingly adjured.</p> + +<p>The only response of the devotee of the Prophet +was a gutteral repetition of "Pekee! good! pekee! +pekee!" But by an influence as effective as it was +mysterious, our swan-like movement was exchanged +for a most hope-encouraging velocity.</p> + +<p>"Bravo!" exclaimed my lord.</p> + +<p>"Bravissima!" intonated the Hun.</p> + +<p>"Go it, boys!" shouted the "old salt."</p> + +<p>"By the soul of Mithridates and the deeds of +Thermopolæ!" chimed in the scion of the "isles of +Greece," catching the instinctively-intelligible contagion +of the sportive moment.</p> + +<p>"And what said Uncle Hal?" you wonder, perhaps. +Oh, I was listening to the low, melancholy, +semi-howl in which the imperturbable Moslems were +slowly chanting "<i>Güzal! pek güzal!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> as they +turned their dull eyes lingeringly towards their fast-receding +mosques and minarets.</p> + +<p>But, meeting the questioning glances of my companions, +as their mirth began to subside, I contributed +my humble quota to the general stock of fun +by saying, with extreme gravity of voice and manner:</p> + +<p>"When will wonders cease in the Golden Horn! +At first, even its unquestionable antiquity did not<a name="Page_238" id="Page_238"></a> +redeem this vessel from my contempt—now I consider +it an '<i>irresistible duck</i>!'—and I wish, moreover, +to publish my conviction that, though barbarous +in matters of literature and art, the Turks impressively +teach their boastful superiors a <i>religious +respect for cleanliness</i>."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I remember to have been singularly impressed, +when I read it, with an anecdote somewhat as follows:</p> + +<p>As too frequently happens on such occasions, a +discussion in relation to some insignificant matter, +into which a large party of men, who had dined together, +and were lingering late over their wine, had +fallen, gradually increased in vehemence and obstinacy +of opinion, until frenzied excitement ruled +the hour.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"From words they almost came to blows,<br></span> +<span class="i0">When luckily"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">the attention of one of the most furious of the disputants +was suddenly arrested by the <a name="tn_png_238"></a><!--TN: "appearace" changed to "appearance"-->appearance of one of +the gentlemen present. There was no angry flush on +his brow, no "laughing devil" in his eye, and he sat +quietly regarding the scene before him, serene and +self-possessed as when he entered the apartment +hours before. His astonished companion inquired +the cause of such placidity, in the midst of anger +and turbulence.<a name="Page_239" id="Page_239"></a></p> + +<p>The gentleman pointed, with a smile, to a half-empty +water-bottle beside him, and replied: "While +the rest of the company have been industriously +occupied in endeavoring to drown the distinctive +attribute of man—reason—I have preserved its supremacy +by simply confining myself to a non-intoxicating +beverage."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I trust you will not think the following somewhat +quaint verses, from the pen of an old and now almost +forgotten poet, a <i>mal-à-propos</i> conclusion to this +letter:</p> + +<h3>THE YOUTH AND THE PHILOSOPHER</h3> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">A Grecian youth, of talents rare,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Whom Plato's philosophic care<br></span> +<span class="i0">Had formed for Virtue's nobler view,<br></span> +<span class="i0">By precept and example too,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Would often boast his matchless skill<br></span> +<span class="i0">To curb the steed, and guide the wheel;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And as he passed the gazing throng<br></span> +<span class="i0">With graceful ease, and smack'd the thong,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The idiot wonder they expressed,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Was praise and transport to his breast.<br></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">At length, quite vain, he needs would show<br></span> +<span class="i0">His master what his art could do;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And bade his slaves the chariot lead<br></span> +<span class="i0">To Academus' sacred shade.<br></span> +<span class="i0">The trembling grove confessed its fright,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The wood-nymphs started at the sight;<br></span> +<span class="i0">The Muses drop the learned lyre,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And to their inmost shades retire.<br></span> +<span class="i0">Howe'er, the youth, with forward air,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Bows to the Sage, and mounts the car;<a name="Page_240" id="Page_240"></a><br></span> +<span class="i0">The lash resounds, the coursers spring,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The chariot marks the rolling ring;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And gathering crowds, with eager eyes,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And shouts, pursue him as he flies.<br></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">Triumphant to the goal returned,<br></span> +<span class="i0">With nobler thirst his bosom burned;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And now along the indented plain<br></span> +<span class="i0">The self-same track he marks again;<br></span> +<span class="i0">Pursues with care the nice design,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Nor ever deviates from the line.<br></span> +<span class="i0">Amazement seized the circling crowd;<br></span> +<span class="i0">The youths with emulation glowed;<br></span> +<span class="i0">E'en bearded sages hailed the boy,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And all but Plato gazed with joy.<br></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">For he, deep-judging sage, beheld<br></span> +<span class="i0">With pain the triumph of the field:<br></span> +<span class="i0">And when the charioteer drew nigh,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And, flushed with hope, had caught his eye,<br></span> +<span class="i0">"Alas! unhappy youth," he cried,<br></span> +<span class="i0">"Expect no praise from me," (and sighed);<br></span> +<span class="i0">"With indignation I survey<br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Such skill and judgment thrown away:</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>The time profusely squandered there</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>On vulgar arts, beneath thy care,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>If well employed, at less expense,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Had taught thee Honor, Virtue, Sense;</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>And raised thee from a coachman's fate,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>To govern men, and guide the state."</i><br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>One seldom finds a nicer selection of words than +those of the last lines of these admonitory stanzas. +With the wish that they may gratify your literary +acumen, I am, as ever,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Your faithful friend,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Harry Lunettes.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> Concluding lines of Mr. Adams' "Address to the <i>Sun-Dial</i> under the +window of the Hall of the House of Representatives."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Son of the sea.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> My beautiful! my most beautiful!</p></div> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VIII" id="LETTER_VIII"></a>LETTER VIII.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">LETTER-WRITING.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">There</span> is, perhaps, no form of composition +with which it is as desirable to be practically familiar, +and in which all educated persons should be +accomplished, as that of <i>letter-writing</i>; yet no +branch of an elegant education is more frequently +neglected. Consequently, the grossest errors, and +the utmost carelessness, are tolerated in regard to it. +Rhetorical faults, and even ungrammatical expressions, +are constantly overlooked, and illegibility has +almost come to be regarded as an essential characteristic.</p> + +<p>Following the homely rule of the lightning-tamer, +that "<i>nothing is worth doing at all that is not worth +doing well</i>," you will not need argument to convince +you of the propriety of attention to this subject, +while forming habits of life.</p> + +<p>Different occasions and subjects require, of course, +as various styles of epistolary composition. Thus +the laconic language adapted to a formal business +letter, would be wholly unsuited to one of friendship; +and the playfulness that might be appropriate<a name="Page_242" id="Page_242"></a> +in a congratulatory communication, would be quite +out of place in a letter of condolence.</p> + +<p>While it is impossible that any general rules can +be laid down that will be always applicable in individual +cases, a few directions of universal application +may, not inappropriately, be introduced in connection +with our present purpose.</p> + +<p>The principal requisites of <i>Letters of Business</i> are, +<i>intelligibility</i>, <i>legibility</i>, and <i>brevity</i>. To secure the +first of these essentials, a clear, concise, expressive +selection of language is required. Each word and +sentence should express <i>exactly</i> and <i>unequivocally</i> +the idea intended to be conveyed, and in <i>characters</i> +that will not obscure the sense by doubtful <i>legibility</i>. +A legible hand should certainly be as essential as +intelligible utterance. We pity the man who by +stammering, or stuttering, not only taxes the time +and patience of his hearers, but leaves them, at +times, uncertain of his meaning, despite their efforts +to comprehend him. What, then, is the misfortune +of those who, like the most genial of wits, +'decline to read their own writing, after it is twenty-four +hours old!' Do not, I pray you, let any +absurd impression respecting the excusableness of +this defect, on the score that <i>genius is superior to the +trifles of detail</i>, etc., lead you either into carelessness +or indifference on the subject. Few men have the +excuse of possessing the dangerous gift of genius, and +to affect the weaknesses by which it is sometimes +accompanied, is equally silly and contemptible. A +man of sense will aim at attaining a true standard<a name="Page_243" id="Page_243"></a> +of right, not at caricaturing a defective model. +Depend upon it, a <i>good business-hand</i> is no small +recommendation to young men seeking employment +in any of the occupations of life. The propriety of +<i>brevity</i> in letters of business, will at once commend +itself to your attention. Time—the wealth of the +busy—is thus saved for two parties. But remember, +I repeat, that, while this precious treasure is best +secured by expressing what you wish to communicate +in as few words as possible, nothing is gained +by leaving your precise meaning doubtful, by unauthorized +abbreviations, confused sentences, or the +omission of any essential—as a date, address, proper +signature, important question, or item of information. +Let me add, that <i>rapidity of mechanical execution</i> +is of no mean importance in this regard.</p> + +<p><i>Letters of Introduction</i> should be so expressed as +to afford the reader a clue to the particular purpose +of the bearer in desiring his acquaintance, if any +such there be. This will prevent the awkwardness +of a personal explanation, and furnish a convenient +theme for the commencement of a conversation between +strangers. Thus, if it be simply a friend, travelling +in search of pleasure and general information, +whom you wish to commend to the general civilities +of another friend, some such form as the following +will suffice:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p style="text-align:right;">—— —— ——</p> + +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">My dear Sir:</p> + +<p class="firstpara">Allow me the pleasure of introducing to +you my friend, Mr. —— ——, a gentleman whose<a name="Page_244" id="Page_244"></a> +intelligence and acquirements render his acquaintance +an acquisition to all who are favored with his +society. Mr. —— visits your city [or town, or part +of the country, or, your celebrated city, or, your enterprising +town, or your far-famed State, etc.] merely +as an <i>observant traveller</i>. Such attentions as it may +be agreeable to you to render him will oblige</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">Your sincere friend,<br></span> +<span class="presignature2" >and obedient servant,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3">—— ——.<br></span> +</div> + +<p>To Hon. —— ——</p></div> + +<p>When you wish to write a letter of introduction +for a person seeking a situation in business, a place +of residence, scientific information, or the like; +briefly, but distinctly, state this to your correspondent, +together with any circumstance creditable to the +bearer, or which it will be advantageous to him to +have known, which you can safely venture to avouch. +(No one is in any degree bound by individual regard +to impair his reputation for probity or veracity in +this, or any other respect.)</p> + +<p>A letter introducing an Artist, a Lecturer, etc., +should contain some allusion to the professional +reputation of the bearer—thus:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p style="text-align:right;">—— —— ——</p> + + +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">My dear Williamson:</p> + +<p class="firstpara">This will be presented to you by our distinguished +countryman, Mr. —— , who proposes +a brief visit to your enterprising city, chiefly +for professional purposes. It affords me great plea<a name="Page_245" id="Page_245"></a>sure +to be the means of securing to friends whom I +so highly value, the gratification I feel assured you +and Mr. —— will derive from knowing each other.</p> + +<p>With the best wishes for your mutual success and +happiness, I am, my dear sir,</p> +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Very truly yours,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3">—— ——.<br></span> +</div> + +<p>To —— ——, Esq.</p></div> + +<p>In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the +time a space in the world's eye, something like this +will suffice:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p style="text-align:right;font-size:.8em;"><span class="smcap">Boston</span>, <i>August 1st, 1863</i>.</p> + +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">My dear Friend:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="smcap">It</span> gives me pleasure to present to your +acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you +cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr. —— [or +the Hon. ——, or Gen. ——]<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> needs no eulogy<a name="Page_246" id="Page_246"></a> +of mine to render his reputation familiar to you, +identified as it is with the literature of our country +[or the scientific fame, or the eloquence of the pulpit, +etc.] Commending my friend to your courtesy, +believe me, my dear Jones,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Truly your friend and servant,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3">—— ——.<br></span> +</div> + +<p>Rev. —— ——.</p></div> + + +<p>Letters of introduction should always be <i>unsealed</i>, +and, as a rule, should relate only to the affairs of the +bearer, not even passingly to those of the writer or +his correspondent. When it is desirable to write +what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced +into the open letter, a separate and <i>sealed</i> communi<a name="Page_247" id="Page_247"></a>cation +may be written and sent, with a polite apology, +or brief explanation, with the other.</p> + +<p>When letters of introduction are delivered in person, +they should be sent by the servant who admits +you, together with your card, to the lady or gentleman +to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient +mode of announcing yourself, and the object +of your visit.</p> + +<p>When you do not find the person you wish to see, +write your <i>temporary address</i> upon your card, as "At +the American Hotel"—"With Mrs. Henry, 22 +Washington-st."—"At Hon. John Berkley's," etc. +Should you <i>send</i> your letter, accompany it by your +card and <i>present</i> address, and inclose both together +in an envelope directed to the person for whom +they are designed. When your stay is limited and +brief, it is suitable to add upon your card, together +with an accurate <i>date</i>—"For to-day," or, "To remain +but two or three days." And in case of any explanation, +or apology, or request being requisite, such +as you would have made in a <i>personal</i> interview, +write <i>a note</i>, to be inclosed with the letter of presentation. +Every omission of these courtesies that may +occasion trouble, or inconvenience to others, is ill-bred, +and may easily serve to prejudice strangers +against you.</p> + +<p>Sometimes it is well to make an appointment +through the card you leave, or send, with a letter, or +for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as—"At the +Globe Hotel, <i>this evening</i>," with a date, or thus<a name="Page_248" id="Page_248"></a>—"Will +pay his respects to Mrs. ——, to-morrow +morning, with her permission."</p> + +<p>A letter introducing a young man, still "unknown +to fame," to a lady of fashion, or of distinguished +social position, may be expressed somewhat in this +manner:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<div style="font-size:.8em;font-style:italic;line-height:10%;"> +<p>To</p> +<p style="text-indent:4em;">Mrs. Modish,<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a></p> +<p style="text-indent:0em;text-align:center;">No. 14 Belgrave Place</p> +<p style="text-align:right;padding-right:.5em;">Charleston, S. C.</p> +</div> + +<p style="text-align:right;font-size:.8em;padding-top:.75em;"><span class="smcap">Astor House, New York</span>, <i>Jan. 27th, 1863</i>.</p> +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">Dear Madam:</p> + +<p class="firstpara">Permit me to present to you my friend, +Mr. James Stuart—a gentleman whose polished +manners and irreproachable character embolden me<a name="Page_249" id="Page_249"></a> +to request for him the honor of an acquaintance with +even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of +fashion as yourself.</p> + +<p>Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information +you may desire respecting our mutual friends +and acquaintances in society here.</p> + +<p>Do me the honor to make my very respectful +compliments to the Misses Modish, and to believe +me, dear madam,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">Most respectfully,<br></span> +<span class="presignature2">Your friend and servant,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3 smcap">Robert B. Hawks.<br></span> +</div> +<p class="smcap">Mrs. Modish.</p> +</div> + +<p>Letters presenting <i>foreigners</i>, should designate the +country and particular locality to which they belong, +as well as the purpose of their tour, as—"The Chevalier +Bonné, of Berne, Switzerland whose object in +visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to +compare our social and political institutions with +those of his own country, but the collection of <i>specimens</i> +and <i>information</i> respecting the <i>Natural History</i> +of the United States. Such assistance as you +may be able to render my learned friend, in facilitating +his particular researches, will confer a favor +upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully +remember," etc., etc.</p> + +<p>The subject of letters of introduction naturally +suggests that of <i>personal introductions</i>, in relation to +which the grossest mistakes and the greatest carelessness +are prevalent, even among well-bred people.<a name="Page_250" id="Page_250"></a></p> + +<p>In making persons acquainted with each other, +the form of words may vary almost with every +different occasion, but there are certain rules that +should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations +of abstract propriety.</p> + +<p>Younger persons and inferiors in social rank, +should, almost invariably, be <i>presented to</i> their seniors +and superiors. Thus, one should not say—"Mr. +Smith, let me introduce Mr. Washington Irving to +you," but "Mr. Irving, will you allow me to introduce +Mr. John Smith to you?" Or, "Permit me to +present Mr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that +Mr. Smith does not need to be informed to whom he +is about to be introduced. It is difficult to express +upon paper the difference of signification conveyed +by the mode of <i>intonating</i> a sentence. "General +Scott, Mr. Jones," may be so pronounced as to present +the latter gentlemen to our distinguished countryman, +in a simple, but admissible manner, or it +may illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of +mark to a person who makes no pretensions to social +equality with him.</p> + +<p>Usually, men should be introduced to women, +upon the principle that precedence is always yielded +to the latter; but, even in this case, an exception +may properly be made in the instance of an introduction +between a <i>very young</i>, or, otherwise, wholly +unindividualized woman, and a man of high position, +or of venerable age. A half-playful variation +from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony, +may sometimes be adopted, under such circum<a name="Page_251" id="Page_251"></a>stances, +with good taste, as—"This young lady desires +the pleasure of knowing you, sir—Miss Williams," +or, "Mr. Prescott, this is my niece, Miss Ada Byron +Robinson."</p> + +<p>When there is a "distinction without a difference" +between two persons, or when hospitality +interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in +this regard, it may be waived by merely <i>naming</i> the +parties in such a way as to give precedence to +neither—thus: "Gentlemen, allow me—Mr. W——, +Mr. V——," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure +of making you known to each other," and then simply +pronounce the names of the two persons.</p> + +<p>By the way, let me call your attention to the +importance of an <i>audible</i> and <i>distinct</i> enunciation +of <i>names</i>, when assuming to make an introduction. +A <i>quiet, self-possessed manner</i>, and <i>intelligibility</i> +should be regarded as essential at such times.</p> + +<p>When introducing persons who are necessarily +wholly unacquainted with each other's antecedents of +station or circumstance, it is eminently proper to add +a brief explanation, as—"Mr. Preudhomne, let me +introduce my brother-in-law, General Peters,—Mr. +Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs. Blandon, with your +permission, I will present to you Señor Abenno, a +Spanish gentleman. Señor A. speaks French perfectly, +but is unacquainted with our language;" +or, "Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of +Philadelphia—like ourselves, <i>a merchant</i>;" or, "My +dear, this is Captain Blevin, of the good ship <a name="tn_png_251"></a><!--TN: "Never sink" changed to "Neversink"-->Neversink,—Mrs. +Nephews, sir."<a name="Page_252" id="Page_252"></a></p> + +<p>Never say "My wife," or "My <a name="tn_png_252"></a><!--TN: Quote added after "daughter,"-->daughter," or "My +sister," "My father-in-law," or the like, without giving +each their proper ceremonious title. How should +a stranger know whether your "daughter" is—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Sole daughter of your house and heart,"</p> + + +<p class="continue">or Miss "Lucy," or "Belinda," the third or fourth in +the order of time, and, consequently, of precedence, +or what may chance to be the name of your father-in-law, +or half-sister, etc., etc.</p> + +<p>Well-bred people address each other by name, +when conversing, and hence the awkwardness occasioned +by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled +by that of speaking of your wife as "My wife,"<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> or +worse still, "<i>my lady!</i>" Is it not enough, when +your friends know that you are married, and are +perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of +"Mrs. ——," and to introduce them to the mistress +of your house by that designation?</p> + +<p>It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable +to designate the members of your own family +by their proper titles under all circumstances that +would render it suitable and convenient to do so in +the instance of other persons. Never fall into the<a name="Page_253" id="Page_253"></a> +<i>American</i> peculiarity on this point, I entreat you. +Say—"My father, Dr. V——," or "My sister, Miss +V——," "Mrs. Col. V——, my sister-in-law," or, +"My sister, Mrs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous +a regard for rank and precedence, as though dealing +with strangers. Indeed, you virtually <i>ignore all +personal considerations</i>, while acting in a social +relation merely.</p> + +<p>The rules of etiquette very properly interdict <i>indiscriminate +introductions</i> in general society. No +one has a right to thrust the acquaintance of persons +upon each other without their permission, or, at least, +without some assurance that it will be agreeable to +them to know each other. Strangers meeting at the +house of a mutual friend, in a morning visit, or the +like, converse with each other, or join in the general +conversation without an introduction, which it is not +usual among fashionable people to give under such +circumstances. If you wish to present a gentleman +of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her permission, +either in person or by note, to take him to +her house, if she be married, or to do so at a party, +etc., where you may chance to meet her. In the +instance of a very young lady, propriety demands +your obtaining the consent of one of her parents +before adding to her list of male acquaintances, unless +you are upon such terms of intimacy with her family +and herself, as to render this superfluous; and so +with all your friends. It is better, however, even +where unceremoniousness is admissible, to err upon +the safer side.<a name="Page_254" id="Page_254"></a></p> + +<p>Among men, greater license may be taken; but, +<i>as a rule</i>, I repeat, persons are <i>not</i> introduced in the +street, in pump-rooms, in the public parlors of hotels, +or watering-places, meeting incidentally at receptions +or at morning visits, etc.; and not even when they +are your guests at large dinners, or soirées, without +their previous assent or request.</p> + +<p>Of course, such rules, like all the laws of convention, +are established and followed for convenience, +and should not be regarded, like those of the Medes +and Persians, as unchangeable. Good sense and good +feeling will vary them with the changes of circumstance. +No amiable person, for instance, will +hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the +more imperative law of kindness, when associated +with those who are ignorant of their existence (as +many really excellent persons are), and would be +pained by their strict observance. Neither should +the most punctilious sticklers for form think it +necessary to make a parade of the mere letter of such +rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the +promotion of social convenience and propriety.</p> + +<p>Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in +any other, to say a word about the matter of <i>visiting +cards</i>.</p> + +<p>Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary +appendage. In Europe, it is very common to +affix the professional or political title to the name, as +"—— ——, Professor in the University of Heidelburg," +or, "—— ——, Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an +Englishman in public life often has on his card the<a name="Page_255" id="Page_255"></a> +cabalistic characters—"In H.M.S."—(in Her Majesty's +Service). Among the best-bred Americans, I +think the prevalent usage is to adopt the <i>simple signature</i>, +as "Henry Wise," or to prefix the title of +Mr., as "Mr. Seward." Sometimes,—particularly +for cards to be used away from home—the place of +residence is also engraved in one corner below the +name.<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a></p> + +<p>Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having +the corners of the reverse side of their cards engraven +across with such convenient words as "<i>Pour +dire Adieu</i>" (to say good bye). "<i>Congratulation</i>" +(to offer congratulations). "<i>Pour affaire</i>" (on an +errand, or on business). "<i>Arrivé</i>" (tantamount to +"<i>in town</i>"). The appropriate corner is turned over, +as occasion requires, and the sentence is thus brought +into notice on the <i>same side with the name</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Business cards</i> should never be used in social life, +nor should flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally +unintelligible characters be employed. A +smooth, <i>white</i> card, of moderate size, with a plain, +legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable +taste and <i>ton</i>, suitable for all occasions, and sufficient +for all purposes, with the addition, when circumstances +require it, of a pencilled word or sentence. +But to return to our main subject.</p> + +<p><i>Letters of Recommendation</i> partake of the general +character of those of introduction. It is sufficient to +add, in regard to them, that they should be <i>conscientiously</i> +expressed. All that can be truthfully said +for the advantage of the bearer, should be included;<a name="Page_256" id="Page_256"></a> +but, as I have before remarked, no one is obliged to +compromise his own integrity to advance the interests +of others in this manner, more than in any other.</p> + +<p><i>Letters of Condolence</i> require great care and delicacy +of composition. They should relate chiefly, as +a rule, to the subject by which they are elicited, and +express <i>sympathy</i> rather than aim at <i>administering +consolation</i>. No general directions can be made to +embrace the peculiarities of circumstance in this +regard. Suffice it to say that the inspiration of +genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of +kindly interest for the sufferer you address, of respect +and regard for a departed friend, or an appreciation +of the magnitude of the misfortune you deplore, +rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged +reference to one's self.</p> + +<p><i>Letters of Congratulation</i> should embody cheerfulness +and cordiality of sentiment, and be at an equal +remove from an exaggeration of style, suggesting +the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from +chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To +"rejoice with those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing +and easy task for those who are blessed with a +genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in +the good fortune of others. Letters expressing this +pleasure admit of a little more egotism than is sanctioned +by decorum in some other cases. One may +be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so +pleasurably associated with those of one's correspondent.</p> + +<p><i>Brevity</i> is quite admissible in letters both of con<a name="Page_257" id="Page_257"></a>dolence +and felicitation—referring, as they properly +do, chiefly to <i>one topic</i>; it is in better taste not to introduce +extraneous matter into them, especially when +they are of a merely ceremonious nature.</p> + +<p><i>Letters to Superiors in Station or Age</i> demand a +respectful and laconic style. No familiarity of +address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or digressions, +are admissible in them. They should be commenced +with a ceremoniously-respectful address +carefully and concisely expressed, and concluded +with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. +The name of the person to whom they are +written should be <a name="tn_png_257"></a><!--TN: "place" changed to "placed"-->placed near the lower, left hand +edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious +title, etc. No abbreviations of words—and none of +titles, unsanctioned by established usage, should be +introduced into such letters, and they should bear at +the commencement, below the date, and on the left +hand side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, +thus:</p> + +<p class="letter"> +<p style="text-align:right;font-size:.8em;"><span class="smcap">Washington City</span>, <i>Feb. 2d, 1863</i>.</p> +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">Honorable Edward Everett:—</p> +<p class="firstpara smcap">Sir,</p> +<p style="text-align:right;">. . . . . . . .</p> +<p>. . . . . . . . . .</p> +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignaturea">I am, sir,<br></span> +<span class="presignature1">Very respectfully,<br></span> +<span class="presignature2">Your humble servant,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3 smcap">J. F. Carpenter.<br></span> +</div> +<div style="line-height:50%"> +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">Hon. Edward Everett,</p> +<p>Secretary of State, for the U. S.</p></div></div> + +<a name="Page_258" id="Page_258"></a> + +<p>Be careful to remember that it is unsuitable to +commence a communication to an <i>entire stranger</i> +an official letter, or one of ceremony, in reply to a +gentleman acting in the name of a committee, etc., +etc., with "Dear Sir." This familiarity is wholly out +of place under such circumstances, and it is matter +of surprise that our public men so frequently fall into +it, even in addressing public functionaries representing +foreign countries here, etc. In this respect, as +in many others, their "quality," as that most discerning +satirist, <i>Punch</i>, has recently said of the style +of one of our men in high office—is not "<i>strained</i>!" +The veterans of Diplomatic or of Congressional life +should let us see that practice has refined their style +of speaking and writing, rather than remind us that +they have come to the <i>lees</i> of intellect!</p> + +<p>I have, for several years past, remarked the published +letters of one of the distinguished men of the +Empire State, as models of graceful rhetoric and +good taste. I refer now, not to the political opinions +they may have expressed, but to their <i>literary execution</i>. +They indicate the pen of genius—no matter +what the occasion—whether declining to break +ground for a canal, to lay the corner-stone of a +university, acknowledging a public serenade, or +expounding a political dogma, a certain indescribable +something always redeems them alike from common-place +ideas, and from inelegance of language. +See if your newspaper profundity will enable you to +"guess" the name of the individual to whom I +refer.<a name="Page_259" id="Page_259"></a></p> + +<p><i>Diplomatic Letters</i> require a style peculiar to +themselves, in relation to which it would be the +height of temerity in me to adventure even a hint. +The Public Documents of our own country and of +England, afford models for those of you who shall +have occasion for them, as members of the "Corps +Diplomatique."</p> + +<p><i>Letters of Friendship and Affection</i> must, of +course, vary in style with the occasions and the +correspondents that elicit them. A light, easy, +playful style is most appropriate. And one should +aim rather at correctness of diction than at anything +like an elaborate parade of language.</p> + +<p><i>Grammatical inaccuracies</i> and <i>vulgarisms</i> are +<i>never</i> allowable among educated people, whether +in speaking or writing; nor is <i>defective spelling</i> +excusable.</p> + +<p><i>Punctuation</i> and attention to the general rules of +composition should not be overlooked, as thus only +can unmistakable intelligibleness be secured.</p> + +<p>Avoid all ambitious pen-flourishes, and attempts +at ornamental caligraphy, and aim at the acquisition +of a legible, neat, gentleman-like hand, and a pure, +manly, expressive style, in this most essential of all +forms of composition.</p> + +<p>The possession of excellence in this accomplishment +will enable you to disseminate high social and +domestic pleasure. Nothing affords so gratifying a +solace to friends, when separated, as the reception +of those tokens of remembrance and regard. They +only who have wandered far, far away from the ties<a name="Page_260" id="Page_260"></a> +of country, friends, and home, can fully appreciate +the delight afforded by the reception of letters of a +satisfactory character. And the welcome assurances +of the safety, health, and happiness of the absent +and loved, is the best consolation of home-friends.</p> + +<p><i>Practice</i>, <i>patience</i>, and <i>tact</i>, are equally essential +to the acquisition of ease and grace in this desirable +art. <i>Wit</i>, <i>humor</i>, and <i>playfulness</i> are its proper +embellishments, and <i>variety</i> should characterize its +themes. A certain <i>egotism</i>, too, is not only pardonable, +but absolutely requisite, and may even become +delicately complimentary to the recipient of one's +confidence.</p> + +<p>Let me remind you, too, that—though "offence +of <i>spoken</i> words" may be excused by the excitement +of passing feeling—the deliberate commission +of unkind, or, worse still, of unjust, untruthful, +injurious language, to paper, argues an obliquity of +moral vision little likely to secure the writer either</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"What nothing earthly gives, or can destroy,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The <i>soul's calm sunshine</i>,"<br></span> +</div></div> + + +<p class="continue">or the respect and regard of others.</p> + +<p>Facility in writing familiar letters may be increased +by the habit of <i>mentally</i> recording, before +inditing them, as opportunity affords material, such +incidents of travel, items of personal interest, or +gossiping intelligence, etc., as may be thought best +suited to the tastes of your correspondents. And +it is well, before closing such communications, not +only to glance over them to satisfy yourself of their<a name="Page_261" id="Page_261"></a> +freedom from mistakes, but by that means to recall +any omission occasioned by forgetfulness.</p> + +<p>Notes of <i>Invitation</i>, of <i>Acceptance</i>, and <i>Regret</i>, +require, of course, brevity and simplicity of expression. +The <i>prevailing mode</i> of the society you are +connected with, is usually the proper guide in relation +to these matters of form, for the time being. +Thus the mere formula of social life at Washington, +Boston, Charleston, Paris, or St. Petersburg, may +be somewhat varied, as <i>usage</i> alone frequently +determines these niceties, and all eccentricities and +peculiarities in this respect, as in most others, are in +bad taste. Cards, or Notes, of Invitation to Dinners +and Soirées, are frequently printed, and merely +names and dates supplied in writing. The example +of the <i>best society</i> (in the most elevated sense of +that much-abused phrase) everywhere, sanctions +only the most unpretending mode of expression and +general style, for such occasions. The utmost +beauty and exquisiteness of finish in the mere +<i>material</i>, but the absence of all pretentious ornament, +is thought most unexceptionable.</p> + +<p><i>Invitations to Dinner</i> should be acknowledged at +your earliest convenience, and—whether accepted or +declined—in courteously ceremonious phraseology. +In the instance of invitations<a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> to Balls and Evening-<a name="Page_262" id="Page_262"></a>Parties, +Weddings, etc., haste is not so essential; +but a seasonable reply to such civilities should by +no means be neglected.</p> + +<p>When you wish to take a friend—who is a +stranger to the hostess—with you to an evening +entertainment, and are upon sufficiently established +terms with her to make it quite proper to do so, +acknowledge your invitation at once, and request +permission to take your friend—thus affording an +opportunity, if it is requisite, for the return of an +invitation enclosed to you for your proposed companion. +Some form like the following will answer +the purpose:</p> + +<div class="letter"> + +<p>Mr. Thomas Brown has the honor to accept <a name="tn_png_262"></a><!--TN: Period added after "Mrs"-->Mrs. +Mason's very polite invitation for next Thursday +evening.</p> + +<p>With Mrs. Mason's permission, Mr. Brown will +be accompanied by his friend, Mr. Crawford, of +Cincinnati, who is at present temporarily in New +York.</p> +<div style="font-size:.8em;line-height:50%"> +<p class="smcap">Carlton House,</p> + +<p style="text-indent:3em;font-style:italic;">Monday morning, December 28th.</p> +</div></div> + +<p>Among intimate friends, it is sometimes most +courteous, when <i>declining an invitation</i>, in place of +a mere formal "regret" to indite a less ceremonious +note, briefly explanatory, or apologetic. <i>Essential<a name="Page_263" id="Page_263"></a> +good-breeding</i> is the best guide in these occasional +deviations from <a name="tn_png_263"></a><!--TN: "ceremoneous" changed to "ceremonious"-->ceremonious rules.</p> + +<p>Formal notes of invitation, and the like, should +not be addressed to several persons inclusively. Of +course, a gentleman and his wife are invited in +this inclusive way, as are the unmarried sisters of a +family, when residing in the same house; but +visitors to one's friends, a married lady and her +daughters, as well as the younger gentlemen of a +family, should, severally, have separate notes, directed +to them individually, where ceremony is +requisite, though all may, for convenience, be +enclosed in the same envelope, with a general +direction to the elder lady of the house.</p> + +<p>Letters, or notes, commenced in the <i>third person</i>, +should be continued throughout in the same form. +It is obviously incorrect (though of frequent occurrence), +to adopt such phraseology as—"Mr. Small +presents his compliments to Miss Jones," etc., and +to conclude with "Yours respectfully, G. Small." +This mode of expression (the third person), is only +adapted to brief communications of a formal nature. +No <i>address and signature</i> are required when the +names of the recipient and of the writer are introduced +into the body of the note, as they necessarily +are. The place of residence (if written), and the +date, are placed at the left hand side of the paper, +<i>below</i> the principal contents.</p> + +<p>Letters designed to be mailed—such as are written +to persons living at a distance from your own place +of residence—should have your proper <i>mail address</i><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264"></a> +legibly written on the right hand side of your sheet, +<i>above</i> the rest of the communication, together with +the date.</p> + +<p>Notes addressed to persons residing in the same +place with yourself, require only the name of the +street you reside in, and your number, with the <i>day +of the week</i>—as "Clinton Place, Thursday P. M.," +or, "No. 6 Great Jones <a name="tn_png_264"></a><!--TN: "st." changed to "St."-->St., Monday morning"—which +is usually placed below the other portions of +the missive. It is usual to write <i>short notes of ceremony</i> +so as to have the few lines composing them in +<i>the middle</i> of the small sheet used.</p> + +<p>Forms of signature and address vary in accordance +with the general tenor of letters. When they are of +an entirely ceremonious character, or addressed to +superiors, usage requires an elaborate address and +subscription; but the style of familiar epistles permits +throughout every variety of language that good +taste and good feeling may invent or sanction. Only +let there be a general harmony in your compositions. +Do not fall into the inadvertency of the person who +addressed a missive full of the most tender expressions +of regard to his mistress, and signed it—"Yours +respectfully, Clark, Smith & Co."</p> + +<p><i>Legibility</i>, <i>Intelligibility</i>, and <i>Accuracy</i> are requisite +in the <i>direction</i> of all epistolary compositions.</p> + +<p>Correct taste demands some attention to the subject +of <i>Writing-Materials</i>. It is now becoming the +practice to use small-sized paper for communications +of ceremony and friendship, continuing the contents +through several sheets, if necessary, and numbering<a name="Page_265" id="Page_265"></a> +each in proper succession. It is, also, usual to +write ceremonious letters on but one side of a sheet, +and to leave a wide margin upon the left hand +side, and a narrower one on the opposite edge of the +paper.</p> + +<p>The finest, smoothest paper should always be used, +except for mere business matters; and, though some +passing fashion may sanction tinted paper, pure white +is always unexceptionable. All fancy ornaments, +colored designs, etc., etc., are in questionable taste. +If ornamental bordering, or initial lettering is +adopted, the most chaste and unpretending should +be preferred.</p> + +<p>Except for <i>mailing</i>, envelopes should correspond +exactly with the sheet inclosed. Envelopes sent +by post should be strong and large-sized. Sometimes +it is well to re-enclose a small envelope, corresponding +with the written sheet, in a large, firm cover, and to +write the full direction upon that.</p> + +<p>Sealing wax should always be used for closing all +epistles, except those of an entirely business nature. +<i>Stamps</i> and <i>seals</i> may vary with taste. A plain +form with an unbroken face, suffices; or initials, a +device and motto, one or both; or hereditary heraldic +designs may be preferred.</p> + +<p>Letters intended to go by mail on the continent of +Europe, should be written on a single, large sheet of +<i>thin</i> paper, and <i>not enveloped</i>.</p> + +<p><i>It is as ill-bred not to reply to a communication +requiring an acknowledgment, or to neglect proper +attention to all the several matters of importance to<a name="Page_266" id="Page_266"></a> +which it relates, as it is not to answer a question +directly and personally addressed to you.</i></p> + +<p><i>Promptitude</i> is also demanded by good-breeding, +in this regard. Necessity only can excuse the impoliteness +of subjecting a friend, or business-correspondent, +to inconvenience or anxiety, occasioned by +delay in replying to important letters.</p> + +<p>Tyros in epistolary composition may derive advantage +from noting the peculiar excellences of the +published letters of celebrated authors and others; +not for the purpose of servile imitation, but as affording +useful general models, or guides. Miscellaneous +readers may note the genial humor and patient elaborateness +characterizing the letters of the "Great +Unknown," the felicities of expression sometimes +observable in the familiar missives of Byron, and of +his friend Tom Moore (when the latter is not writing +to his much-put-upon London publisher for table-supplies, +etc.!) amuse himself with the gossiping capacity +for details exhibited by those of Horace Walpole, +and con, with wondering admiration, the epistolary +illustrations of the well-disciplined, thoroughly-balanced +character of the great American model, of +whose writings it may always be said—whether an +"order," written on a drum-head, or the draught of a +document involving the interests of all humanity is +the subject—that they are "<i>well done</i>."</p> + +<p>Among the collections of letters I remember to +have read, none now occur to me as offering more +variety of style than those included in the "Memoirs +of H. More." They are a little old-fashioned now,<a name="Page_267" id="Page_267"></a> +perhaps; but some of them, both for matter and +manner, are, in their way, unsurpassed in English +literature. Some of those of <i>Sir W. W. Pepys</i>, I +recollect as peculiarly pleasing.</p> + +<p>Several of the published letters of Dr. Johnson, +and one or two of those of our own Franklin, are to +be regarded as among the curiosities of literature, +rather than as precedents which circumstances will +ever render available, or desirable. Johnson's celebrated +letter to Lord Chesterfield, declining his proffered +patronage, for instance—and Franklin's, concluding +with the witty sarcasm—</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2"><a name="tn_png_267"></a><!--TN: ""You are now my enemy, and I am" indented for ease of reading-->"You are now my enemy, and I am<br></span> +<span class="presignature3">"Yours, <span class="smcap">B. Franklin</span>.<br></span> +</div> +</div> + + +<p>At some future time, perhaps, the literary treasures +of our country will be enriched by specimens +of the correspondence of such of our contemporaries +as inspire the highest admiration for their general +style of composition. Who could fail to peruse with +interest, letters from the pen of Prescott, who never +makes even such a physical infirmity as his, a plea +for inaccuracy, or carelessness of expression? And +who would not hail with delight any draught presented +by the bounteous hand of Irving, from,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The well of English undefiled,"</p> + +<p class="continue">whence he himself has long quaffed the highest +inspiration!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268"></a> + +<p>"There they are!" shouted James.</p> + +<p>"Here they come!" exclaimed Miss Mary Marston.</p> + +<p>"They have made good time, the lazy dogs, for +once!" said I.</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm so glad!" echoed the silvery cadences +of Nettie Brown, who seemed about to dance to the +music of her own merry voice.</p> + +<p>"I hope"——began the dove-like murmur of a +fair invalid: she ceased, and her dewy eyes told all +she would have said.</p> + +<p>"God grant us good news!" said our venerable +<i>compagnon de voyage</i>, fervently, a shade of anxiety +clouding his usually benignant countenance.</p> + +<p>"Ladies, excuse me! I beg you to remember +that they may not bring anything—let me prepare +you for a disappointment!" These words were +uttered, with apparent reluctance, by a young man, +whose pale face and dark melancholy eyes seemed +to lend almost prophetic emphasis to his warning +tones.</p> + +<p>Nettie ceased to clap her little hands; "Jovial +James" looked as grave as his usually rollicking, +fun-twinkling eyes permitted; the stately Mary +could only look fixedly towards the approaching +Arabs, the serenity of our patriarchal friend was +more than ever disturbed; sweet Isidore grew +marble pale, and leaned heavily back upon the sculptured +pillar against which we had secured her camp-<a name="Page_269" id="Page_269"></a>seat, +and your uncle Hal—well! he is a "proverbial +philosopher," you know!</p> + +<p>There we were, amid the solemn magnificence of +the ruined palaces and temples of once-mighty +Thebes.</p> + +<p>Our little party was gathered in front of the great +Propylon of the famous Temple of Luxor, whose +mysterious grandeur we had come many thousands +of miles to behold. Massive pillars, covered with +minutely-finished picture-writing and mystic hieroglyphics, +sufficient for the life-long study of the +curious student; enormous architraves, half-buried +colossi, far-reaching colonnades, "grand, gloomy and +peculiar;" the world-famed Memnon; the grim, +tomb-hallowed mountains—all the wonders of the +Nile, of <i>El Uksorein</i>, of Karnac, surrounded us!</p> + +<p>But humiliating reflections upon the mutability of +human greatness and human power, the eager speculations +of the disciples of Champollion, sarcophagi +and sculptured ceilings, and scarabæi and Sesostris, +alike sunk into matters of insignificance and indifference +when compared with the expectation of +<i>Letters from Home</i>!</p> + +<p>That most amiable and hospitable of Mussulmans, +Mustapha Aga, <i>the traveller's friend</i>, had engaged +the Sheik (heaven spare the mark!) of one of the +squalid Arab villages, whose mud walls cluster +upon the roofs of the grand halls and porticoes of +ancient Thebes—reminding one of <i>animalculœ</i> by +comparison—to accompany my servant and one or<a name="Page_270" id="Page_270"></a> +two of our dusky satellites to a point in the +vicinity, to which the American and English consuls +at Cairo had engaged to forward our letters, etc.</p> + +<p>Our motley band of couriers was now seen +advancing along the low bank of the river, and all +was eager anticipation and impatience.</p> + +<p>The ceremony of distribution was speedily accomplished, +and an observer of the scene, like our calm, +silent host, the kindly Mustapha, might almost read +the contents of the different letters of the several +members of our little group reflected in the faces of +each.</p> + +<p>"Jovial James" sunk down at once at the feet of +the fair Nettie, who had sacrilegiously seated herself +upon the edge of an open sarcophagus, with a lap +full of treasures, before which her hoarded antiques—and +she was the most indefatigable <i>collector</i> of our +corps—relapsed again into the nothingness from +which her admiration had, for a time, redeemed +them. Something very much like a tear glistened +in the bright eyes of the frolicksome youth as he +murmured, half-unconsciously "Mother," and sunshine +and shadow played in quick succession over +the mirroring features of the fair girl.</p> + +<p>The usually placid Mary Marston fairly turning +her back upon us, beat a retreat towards a prostrate +column and <a name="tn_png_270"></a><!--TN: Comma removed after "and"--> +half-concealed herself among its crumbling +fragments; and our sweet, fast-fading flower, for +whose comfort each vied with the other, the beautiful +Isidore, clasped her triple prizes between her<a name="Page_271" id="Page_271"></a> +slight palms, and folding them to her meek bosom, +lifted her soft eyes toward the heaven that looked +alike on Egypt and on her native land, and whispered +"<i>Home!</i> Oh, father take me <i>Home</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Not one word does Frank say about <i>remittances</i>—the +most important of all subjects!" cried +James, with his elbows on his knees, and a half-filled +sheet held out before him in both hands. "He is +the most provoking fellow!—just look, Nettie, how +much blank paper, too, sent all the way from Manhattan +Island to Upper Egypt," he added, with a +serio-comic tap on the paper.</p> + +<p>"Good enough for you!" retorted his frequent +tormentor; "you wouldn't write from Rome to him, +as I begged you to"——</p> + +<p>"But, most amiable Miss <i>Consolation 'on a monument</i>, +smiling at grief,' don't you recollect that <i>you</i> +favored him with three 'great big' sheets, crammed, +crossed, and kissed"——</p> + +<p>"Do go away, James Wilson! you are a regular +<i>squatter</i>, as they say at home; really, if you are not +established on my skirt!" laughed his merry companion, +reddening, however, at his skillful sally.</p> + +<p>James, well used to repulses, made not even a +pretence of removing his quarters; but, tracing with +his forefinger in the sand, began to tease his pretty +neighbor for news from home, protesting that <i>men</i> +were the poorest letter-writers, and that <i>his</i> correspondents +in particular, <i>never said anything</i>!</p> + +<p>But what had become of the thoughtful friend<a name="Page_272" id="Page_272"></a> +whose warning voice had checked too eager expectation +in his companions, whilst</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">——"thou, oh Hope, with eyes so fair,"</p> + +<p class="continue">made wild tumult in each eager breast? I marked +his face, as he stood apart from the excited group +gathered about the bearer of our dispatches. It was +almost as immobile and coldly calm as those of the +polished colossi around us, save for the burning eyes +that seemed actually to devour the several directions +that were glanced over, or read aloud by others. His +hands, too, were tightly clutched, as though he were +thus self-sustained.—Poor fellow! I had frequently +noticed his manner before, where the happiness of +others arrested attention; it indicated, to me, a +serenity like that of the expiring hero who waved +his life-draught to another, hiding, with a smile, the +outward signs of tortured nature! Almost before +the last package was unfolded, he was advancing +with rapid strides along the majestic avenue leading +from our stand-point towards the ruins of Karnac, +and was soon lost to sight amid its massive ornaments. +How easily might some friendly hand have +shed balm upon his sad and solitary spirit, on that +memorable day in far-off Nile-Land, when so +many hearts were gladdened with the sweet sunlight +enkindled by <i>letters</i>!—so many faces illumined +with smiles reflected from the ever-glowing altars of +<span class="smcap">Country</span> and <span class="smcap">Home</span>!</p> + +<p><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273"></a></p><hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Sir Walter Scott, as his son-in-law informed me, +despite the vast amount of intellectual labor he +otherwise imposed upon himself, with as little flinching, +apparently, as though his mind were a powerful +self-regulating steam-engine, had the habit of <i>always +answering letters on the day of their reception</i>! +Mr. Lockhart told me that, during the researches he +made among the private papers of his immortal +friend, while preparing materials for his biography, +he almost invariably remarked, from the careful +notations upon them, that when any delay had +occurred in replying to a letter, it arose from the +necessity of some previous investigation, or the like. +My astonishment upon perusing the long, elaborately-written +epistles that Mr. Lockhart subsequently +gave to the world, was augmented by my knowledge +of this fact, and by my remembrance of the innumerable +demands made upon his time by social and +public duties. But "we ne'er shall look on his like +again!" Well might his pen be styled the wand of +the mighty Wizard of the North.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>A gentle tap at the library-door interrupted the +after-dinner chat of my old friend and myself. A +fair young face presented itself in answer to the bidding +of my host, and, upon seeing me was quickly +withdrawn.</p> + +<p>"Come in, my daughter, come—what will you +have?"<a name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></a></p> + +<p>I rose immediately to withdraw, as the young +lady, thus encouraged, somewhat timidly advanced +towards her father.</p> + +<p>"Pray, do not disturb yourself, Colonel Lunettes," +said she; "I only want to speak to pa one moment; +don't think of going away, I beg"——</p> + +<p>My host, too, interposed to prevent my leaving the +room, and I, therefore, took up a book and re-seated +myself.</p> + +<p>"Excuse me for interrupting you, pa, but may +I"—here a whisper, and then so audibly that I +could not help overhearing—"do please, dear pa!"</p> + +<p>"Well, we'll see about it—when is the concert?" +rang out the clear voice of the father.</p> + +<p>"But, pa, I ought to answer the note to-night or +very early to-morrow morning—it would not be +polite to keep Mr. Blakeman"——</p> + +<p>"A note, eh?" interrupted the old gentleman, +"let me see it—go bring it to me."</p> + +<p>I thought I could not be mistaken in the indication +of reluctance to obey this direction evinced by +the slow step of my usually sprightly-motioned young +favorite.</p> + +<p>"Come, Fanny, come," said her father, when she +re-entered, "you have no objection to showing +<i>me</i>"——</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, indeed, pa,—but you are so critical," the +young lady began to protest.</p> + +<p>"Critical! am I though!" exclaimed the parent, +with some vivacity, "perhaps so—at least I judge +somewhat, of a man's claims to the acquaintance of<a name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></a> +my daughter by these things." And, adjusting his +spectacles, he opened the note his daughter offered. +"Bless my soul!" he cried, at the first glance, "what +bright-colored paper, and how many grand flourishes—really, +my dear!" There was a brief silence +and then the father said mildly, but firmly, "Fanny, +I prefer that you should not accept this invitation."</p> + +<p>"Will you tell me why, pa?"</p> + +<p>"Because the writer is not a <i>gentleman</i>! No man +of taste and refinement would write such a note as +this to a lady, with whom he has only the ceremonious +acquaintance that this young man has with +you. He is evidently <i>illiterate</i>, too,—his note is not +only inelegantly expressed, but it is mis-spelled"——</p> + +<p>"Oh, pa"——</p> + +<p>"I assure you it is so. Your own education is +more defective than it should be with the advantages +you have had, if you cannot perceive this—read it +again, and tell me what word is mis-spelled," said her +father, returning the production under discussion to +Fanny.</p> + +<p>The young lady sat down by the lamp to con the +task assigned her, and my host said to me—"It is +unpardonable, now-a-days, for a young man to be +ignorant in such matters as these. When <i>we</i> were +young, Hal, the means of acquiring knowledge generally, +were limited by circumstances; but who that +wishes, lacks them at present?—Well, my daughter"——</p> + +<p>"Yes, pa, I see,—of course it was a mere slip of +the pen"—<a name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></a>—</p> + +<p>"A slip of the pen!" retorted the father, "and is +that a sufficient excuse? Proper respect will teach a +young man of right feelings towards your sex, +to take good care that no such carelessness retains a +place in his first billet to a lady—it is an <i>indication +of character</i>, my child! Depend upon it, that the +man who writes in this way,—encircling some of his +words with a flourish, abbreviating others, mis-spelling, +and all upon mottled paper, with a highly +<i>ornate</i> border, does not understand himself, and will +be guilty of other solecisms in good manners and +good taste, that will be very likely to embarrass and +shock a young lady accustomed to"——</p> + +<p>"The society of <i>gentlemen of the old school</i>, like +pa and Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed Fanny, in her +usual laughing manner, snatching up the condemned +missive, and flying out of the room.</p> + +<p>In the course of the evening, my old friend and I +joined the ladies in the drawing-room.</p> + +<p>A merry group around a centre-table, attracted +me, and as the fair Fanny made a place beside her +agreeable little self for me, I was soon settled to my +satisfaction in the midst of the fair bevy.</p> + +<p>"What are you all so busy about?" I inquired, as +I seated myself.</p> + +<p>"Oh, criticising!" cried one.</p> + +<p>"Acquiring knowledge under difficulties," replied +another.</p> + +<p>"Accomplishing ourselves in the Art Epistolary, +by the study of models!" returned a third.</p> + +<p>And sure enough,—the table was strewed with<a name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></a> +cards, and notes, and an empty fancy-basket told +where these sportive critics had obtained their materials. +I soon gathered that the scrutiny Fanny's +note had undergone in the library, was the moving +cause of this sudden resuscitation of defunct billet-doux +and forgotten cards.</p> + +<p>"Only look at this one, Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed +a pretty girl opposite me, handing across a visiting +card, with the name written with ink, in rather +cramped characters, and surrounded with a variety +of awkward attempts at ornamental flourishes. "Isn't +that sufficient to condemn the perpetrator to 'durance +vile' in the <i>paradise of fools</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Well, here is a beautiful note, at any rate," +exclaimed the eldest daughter of the house, "even +papa would not find fault with this"—</p> + +<p>"What are you saying about papa?" inquired the +master of the mansion, pausing in his walk up and +down the room, and leaning upon the back of his +daughter's chair.</p> + +<p>"Won't you join us, sir?" returned the young +lady, making a motion to rise; "let me give you my +seat."</p> + +<p>"No, no, sit still, child—let us hear the note that +you think unexceptionable."</p> + +<p>"It is as simple as possible," said she, "but though +it only relates to a matter of business, I remember +noticing, when I opened it, the elegant writing +and"——</p> + +<p>"Well, let us hear it, my daughter."</p> + +<p>Thus impelled, the fair reader began:<a name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></a></p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p>"Henry Wynkoop presents his respectful compliments +to Miss Campbell, and begs leave to inform +her that the goods for which she inquired, a few +days since, have arrived, and are now ready for her +inspection.</p> + +<div style="font-size:.8em;line-height:50%"> +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:4em;">"240 Main St.</p> +<p style="font-style:italic;text-indent:0em;">Wednesday Morning, May 22d."</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>"I should have said," added Miss Campbell, +"that I had simply requested Mr. Wynkoop to send +me word about some shawls, when any of the family +happened in there, and did not think of troubling +him to send a note."</p> + +<p>"Let me see," said her father, taking the paper +from her hand, "yes! just what one might expect +from that young fellow—fine, handsome, plain paper +[a glance at poor Fanny] and a neat modest seal—all +because <i>a lady</i> was in question; and one can +read the writing as if it were print. Look at it, +Lunettes! A promising young merchant—a friend +of ours, here. An <i>educated</i> merchant—what every +man should be, who wishes to succeed in mercantile +life in this country."</p> + +<p>"Yes," returned I, "ours is destined, if I do not +greatly mistake, to be a land of <i>merchant princes</i>, +like Venice of old, and I quite agree with you that +American merchants should be <i>educated gentlemen</i>!"</p> + +<p>"This young Wynkoop," continued my friend, "is +destined yet to fill some space in the world's eye, +unless I have lost my power to judge of men. He<a name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></a> +seems to find time for everything—the other evening +he was here—(the girls had some young friends)—and, +happening to step into the library, I found him +standing with one of the book-cases open, and just +reaching down a volume—'I beg your pardon, sir, +if I intrude,' said he, 'but I was going to look for +a passage in the "Deserted Village," as I am not so +fortunate as to possess a copy of Goldsmith.' Of +course I assured him that the books were all at his +service, and apologized for closing the door, and seating +myself at my desk, saying that a rascally Canadian +lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written +that I could scarcely puzzle it out, and that his bad +French was almost unintelligible at that. I confess +I was surprised when he offered to assist me, saying +very modestly, that nothing was more confusing +than <i>patois</i> to the uninitiated, but that he had +chanced to have some experience in it. So he +helped me out very cleverly, in spite of my protestations +at his losing so much time, and when he found +he could not aid me farther, looked up his lines, put +back my book, and quietly bowing, slipped out of +the room. When I went back to the girls, later in +the evening, I heard my young friend singing with +some lady, in a fine clear voice, and, soon after, +discovered him in another room dancing, '<i>money +musk</i>' with my own wife for his partner!"</p> + +<p>While this little sketch was in progress of narration, +the inspection of the miscellaneous display upon +the table had been silently progressing. And each +pretty critic had made some discovery.<a name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></a></p> + +<p>"Here is a 'regret' sent for the other night," said +Fanny, "what do you think of that, Col. Lunettes?" +And a large sheet of note paper was put into my +hand, clumsily folded, and containing only the +words "Mr. Augustus Simpkin regrets."</p> + +<p>"A good deal is left for the imagination," I replied, +"regrets what?"</p> + +<p>"<i>That he is a numskull</i>, perhaps, but I fear there +is not that encouragement for his improvement!" +broke in the Chairman of this Committee of Investigation.</p> + +<p>The general laugh that followed this spicy comment +had no sooner subsided, than another note caught +my eye, by its handsome penmanship. Glancing it +over, I handed it to one of the young ladies without +comment. She 'looked unutterable things,' as she +quietly refolded the missive, and was about to slip it +out of sight; but the dancing eyes of the lively +Fanny had caught the whole movement, and she +insisted upon what she called <i>fair play</i>. So the +paper was again subjected to perusal—this time +aloud.</p> + +<div class="letter"> + +<p style="text-align:right;font-size:.8em;"><span class="smcap">Baltimore</span>, <i>July 24, '61</i>.</p> + +<p>"William Jones takes this means of making an +apology for not calling for Miss Mary last evening. +I assure you no offence was intended, and hope you +did not take it so.</p> +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">"Yours affectionately,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3 smcap">"P. William Jones.<br></span> +</div> +<p style="text-indent:0em;">"The <span class="smcap">Miss Campbells</span>."</p> +</div> + + + +<a name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></a> + +<p>"How did that get into the card-basket?" exclaimed +Miss Campbell, in consternation, "it ought to +have been destroyed at the time"——</p> + +<p>"It has risen up in judgment against the writer +now," said Fanny, "but he is much improved since +then. He knows better now than to say 'the <a name="tn_png_281"></a><!--TN: "Mis" changed to "Miss"--><i>Miss +Campbells</i>', or"——</p> + +<p>"Or sign himself 'Yours affectionately,' to a document +commenced in the third person. So he does, +child, and he proved himself essentially polite by +writing the note—the hand is really very commendable. +I have no doubt the young man will yet +acquire considerable <i>note-ability</i>!" And throwing +the tell-tale paper into the fire, the charitable commentator +proceeded in his walk.</p> + +<p>"<i>A propos</i>"—"<i>A propos</i>" was echoed round the +merry circle, as a servant handed a note to Miss +Campbell.</p> + +<p>"Miss Fanny Campbell," read her sister, and +resigned the billet to its rightful owner.</p> + +<p>Every one protested that it should be common +property, unless its contents were a secret; and the +blushing, half-pouting beauty was constrained to +open and inspect her note where she sat.</p> + +<p>"I insist upon <i>fair play</i> in Miss Fanny's case, +also," said I, coming to the rescue, "and shall do +myself the honor of acting as her champion." With +that I spread out her gossamer handkerchief, and +throwing it over the top of my cane, affected to +screen the rosy face beside me. Taking advantage +of my <i>ruse</i>, my pretty favorite opened her note, and,<a name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></a> +partly retreating behind my broad shoulder, soon +possessed herself of its contents.</p> + +<p>"There," said she, throwing it into the middle of +the table, "you may all read it and welcome!"</p> + +<p>Brown heads and black, sunny curls and chestnut +"bands," were immediately clustered together over +the prize, and Fanny, springing away, like a bird, +was, in a moment, perched on an arm of the large +chair in which her father was now ensconced, with +her arm around his neck, and her beaming eyes +glancing out from his snowy locks.</p> + +<p>"Let Colonel Lunettes see it, you rude creatures!" +exclaimed my lively favorite, from her retreat, and +the note was immediately presented to me. Wiping +my glasses with deliberation suitable to the occasion, +I "pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart," +and read as follows:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p>"It will afford Mr. Howard Parkman great pleasure +to attend Miss Fanny Campbell to a Concert to +be given by the "Hungarian Family," to-morrow +evening.</p> + +<p>"If she will permit him that honor, Mrs. and Miss +Parkman, accompanied by Mr. P., will call for Miss +Campbell at half past seven o clock.</p> + +<div style="font-size:.8em;line-height:50%;"> +<p class="smcap">"Coleman St.,</p> +<p style="font-style:italic;text-indent:4em;">"Tuesday P. M."</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>"That's another rival for you, Colonel Lunettes," +exclaimed one of the girls.</p> + +<p>"I fear my doom is sealed!" returned the old <a name="tn_png_282"></a><!--TN: "sol dier" changed to "soldier"-->sol<a name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></a>dier +thus addressed, with an air of mock resignation. +"But who is this formidable youth, Miss Campbell?"</p> + +<p>"A Bostonian, I believe," replied the young +lady; "cousin Charley introduced him to us at +Mrs. Gay's ball the other evening, and asked us to +call upon his mother and sister—they are friends of +his. He was here this morning with cousin Charley, +but we were out."</p> + +<p>"How stylish!" said one of our critical circle, +re-examining the elegant billet of the stranger.</p> + +<p>"Quite <i>au fait</i>, too, you see, young ladies," I +added, "he invites Miss Fanny to go with a proper +<i>chaperon</i> to the concert, as he is so slightly acquainted +with her."</p> + +<p>As I limped across the room towards them, I heard +my friend say to his daughter, who still retained her +seat, "certainly, unless you prefer to go with Mr. +Blakeman."</p> + +<p>"Oh, pa!" protested the sweet girl, "but what +excuse shall I make to Mr. Blakeman?"</p> + +<p>"Tell him, in terms, that your father does not permit +you to go anywhere, alone, with a young man +with whom he has no acquaintance—Lunettes, you're +not going?" rising as he spoke.</p> + +<p>"It is high time—my carriage must be waiting. +Miss Fanny, permit me the privilege of an old +friend,"—kissing her glowing cheek—and, as she +skipped out into the hall with her father and me, I +whispered—"About this young Bostonian? Is it +all over with him?"<a name="Page_284" id="Page_284"></a></p> + +<p>"What, Hal—jealous?" exclaimed her father, +laughing—"do you fear the flight of our gazelle, +here?"</p> + +<p>"No danger of my eloping! No, indeed! at least +with any one except—<i>Colonel Lunettes</i>!" replied +the charming little witch, as her nimble fingers fastened +my wrappings.</p> + +<p>"Bravo!" cried her father; "that would be glorious! +Seventeen and"——</p> + +<p>"Eighty-two," interrupted your old uncle; "May +and December! But, happily for me, fair Fanny, +<i>my heart</i> can never grow old while I have the happiness +of knowing you."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I hope none of you will ever, even when writing +in a foreign language, fall into the mistake made by +a young Pole, with whom I once had a slight +acquaintance. He was paying his addresses to a +young lady, and, while most assiduously making his +court to the fair object of his passion, was temporarily +separated from her, by her leaving home on a +pleasure excursion. At the first stopping-place of +her party, the lady found a letter awaiting her, +written in the neatest manner, and in excellent English—which +her lover <i>spoke</i> in a <i>very</i> imperfect manner. +It appeared to the recipient of this complimentary +effusion, however, at the first glance, that its +contents were not especially relevant to the occasion +of a first <i>billet-doux</i> from her admirer. Reading it<a name="Page_285" id="Page_285"></a> +more deliberately, something familiar in the language +struck her suddenly, and after pondering a moment, +she turned over the leaves of a new book which +was among the literary stores of our travelling-party, +and soon came to the exact counterpart of passage +after passage, as recorded in the letter of the gallant +Pole!</p> + +<p>The volume was, I think, "Hannah More's Memoirs," +which had probably been recommended to +the young student of our language by his teacher, or +some friend, as containing good <i>specimens of the +epistolary style</i>!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>With the hope that you may all escape being the +subjects of such merriment as was occasioned by the +discovery of my fair friend, I remain, as ever,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">Affectionately yours,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Harry Lunettes.</span><br></span> +</div> + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Always be scrupulously careful to give <i>titles</i>, and with accuracy. +The proper designation of a <i>gentleman</i> not in office, is—<i>Esquire</i>. +(This, of course, should not be given to a tradesman, or menial.) That +of a judge, member of Congress, mayor of a city, member of a State +legislature, etc., etc., is—<i>Honorable</i>; that of a +clergyman—<i>Reverend</i>; that of a bishop—<i>Right Reverend</i>. You are, of +course, familiar with the proper <i>abbreviations</i> for these titles. In +writing the address of a letter, it is desirable to know the <i>Christian</i> +name of the person to whom it is to be directed. Thus, if a physician, +"Charles Jones, M. D.," is better than "Dr. Jones." So, "Dr. De Lancey," +or "Bishop Potter," are obviously improper. The correct form to be used +in this instance, is:</p> + +<div class="letter" style="line-height:50%"> +<p style="margin-left: 10%;">"<i>To the</i></p> +<p style="margin-left:20%;">"<i>Right Rev. Alonzo Potter, D. D.</i>"</p> +</div> + +<p>The proper address of a <i>Minister</i> representing our government abroad, +is—"the Honorable —— ——, Minister for the U.S. of America, near the +Court of St. James, or St. Cloud," etc. That of a <i>Chargé d'Affaires</i>, +or Consul, etc., varies with their respective offices. A <i>Chargé +d'Affaires</i> is sometimes familiarly spoken of as "<i>Our Chargé</i>," at such +a Court—or as the "<i>American Chargé</i>."</p> + +<p>A clergyman may be addressed as "<i>Rev. Mr.</i> ——," if you do not know the +first name, or <i>initial</i>, and so may a doctor of divinity; but in the +latter case it would, perhaps, be better to write—"Rev. Dr. +James,"—though the more accurate mode will still be, if attainable, +"Rev. William James, D.D."</p> + +<p>Gentlemen of the Army and Navy should always be designated by their +proper titles, and it is well not to be ignorant that a man in either of +these professions, when</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"He hath got his sword ...<br></span> +<span class="i0">And seems to know the use on't,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">may not like to be reminded that the <i>slow promotion</i> he has attained is +<i>unknown to his friends</i>!</p> +</div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> It is etiquette to address communications to a lady according to the +style she adopts for <i>her card</i>. Thus, the elder of two married ladies, +bearing the same name and of the same family, may properly designate +herself simply as Mrs. ——, without any Christian name (her position in +society and the addition upon her card, of her <i>locale</i> being supposed +sufficient to identify her). The wives of her youngest brother, or those +of her sons, are then "Mrs. N. C. ——," "Mrs. Charles ——," and so on. +The eldest of a family of sisters is, "Miss ——," the younger are "Miss +Nellie ——," "Miss Julia ——," etc. In writing to, or conversing with +them, you thus individualize them. But when you are upon ceremonious +terms with them, <i>in the absence of the elder,</i> you address one of the +younger sisters, with whom you are conversing, as "Miss ——," only, +omitting the individualizing Christian name. Of course, when writing +under such circumstances, a note of ceremony designed for the young +ladies of a family, collectively, should be addressed to "<i>The +Misses</i> ——;" and if for one of them, alone, to "Miss ——," or, "Miss +Mary G. ——," as the case may be.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> This reminds me of another habit that is becoming prevalent in this +<i>new</i> land of ours—that of men's entering themselves upon the Registers +of Hotels, Ocean Steamers, etc., as "M. A. Timeson and <i>lady</i>!" or, "Mr. +G. Simpson and <i>wife</i>." What can possibly be the objection to the good +old established form of "Mr. and Mrs. M. A. Timeson," or "George and +Mrs. <a name="tn_png_253"></a><!--TN: Quote added after "Simpson,"-->Simpson," or "Mr. G. Simpson. Mrs. and the Misses Simpson?"</p> +</div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Persons belonging to the Army and Navy use their full titles, with +the addition of "U.S.A.," or "U.S.N."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> I was somewhat surprised lately, in perusing an agreeable novel, +written by one of our countrywomen, to observe her use of the word +"<i>ticket</i>" as synonymous with <i>invitation</i>, or <i>card of invitation</i>. A +"<i>ticket</i>" admits one to a concert, the opera, or theatre but one +receives an "<i>invitation</i>," or "<i>card of invitation</i>" to a dinner, ball, +or evening-party, at a friend's house. All misnomers of this kind savor +of under-breeding—they are <i>vulgarisms</i>, in short, unsanctioned either +by taste or fashion.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_IX" id="LETTER_IX"></a>LETTER IX.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">ACCOMPLISHMENTS.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara">Though accomplishments are a very +poor substitute for the more substantial portions of a +thorough education, no one should be so indifferent +to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect +their cultivation.</p> + +<p>With Europeans some attention to this subject +always makes part of a thorough education, but +among a <i>new people</i>, differing so essentially from the +nations of the Old World in social habits, the leisure +and inclination that induce such a system of early +discipline are both still wanting—speaking generally. +It is not the lack of wealth—of that we have enough—but +of a cultivated, discriminating taste, the +growth of time and favoring circumstances, which +is not yet diffused among us. But, though our young +men, even of the more favored class, do not enjoy +the carefully-elaborated system of early training, +common abroad, personal effort will produce a result +similar in effect, if well-directed and steadfastly pur<a name="Page_287" id="Page_287"></a>sued, +and the best of all knowledge—that most beneficial +in its influence upon character—is acquired by +unaided individual exertion. Young Americans, +above the men of all other countries, should lack no +incentive to add, as occasion may permit, tasteful +polish to the more essential solidity of mental +acquirements.</p> + +<p>I know of nothing better calculated to foster +refinement and purity of life than the cultivation of +a <i>Taste</i> for the <i>Fine Arts</i>. I do not refer to a <i>dillettante</i> +affectation of familiarity with the technicalities +of artistic language, or to fashionable pretension and +an assumption of connoisseurship, but to honest, +manly, æsthetical perceptions, quickened and elevated +by familiarity with the true principles of +Art, and by the study of the highest productions of +genius.</p> + +<p>Some knowledge of the practice, as well as of the +principles of <i>drawing</i>, is a very agreeable and useful +accomplishment, and one that may be acquired with +little or no instruction, save that to be obtained from +books.</p> + +<p>Among the advantages collaterally arising from +familiarity with this art, is the increased quickness +and enjoyment it lends to a <i>discernment of the beautiful</i> +in nature, both in its minute manifestations and +its grand developments. A fondness for <a name="tn_png_287"></a><!--TN: Comma removed after "sketching"--><i>sketching</i> +leads, also, to a partiality for rural excursions, and +for the physical sciences; and all those tastes where +the main purposes of life permit their indulgence, +serve to elevate, refine, and expand the higher facul<a name="Page_288" id="Page_288"></a>ties, +to give them habitual dominion over the propensities +and to restrain sensuous enjoyments within +their legitimate limits.</p> + +<p><i>A Taste for Music</i> must, of course, be ranked +among the elegances of social life, but it should not +be forgotten that a <i>practical knowledge</i> of any one +branch of this Art has no direct effect to enlarge the +mind, like that of Painting, for instance. It is only +a sensuous pleasure, though a refined one, and is, as +I have had frequent occasion to remark, too frequently +permitted to engross both time and faculties +that should properly be, in part, at least, more diffusively +employed. Musical skill, though a pleasant +acquirement, is not a sufficient substitute for an +acquaintance with general Literature and Art; nor +will its most exquisite exhibitions always furnish an +equivalent for intellectual pleasures, whether of a +personal or social nature.</p> + +<p><i>Dancing</i> should be early learned, not only because, +like musical knowledge, it is a source of social and +domestic enjoyment, but as materially assisting in +the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage and +manner. It is a good antidote, too, to <i>mauvaise +honte</i>, and almost essential among the minor accomplishments +of a man of the world.</p> + +<p><i>Riding</i> and <i>Driving</i> should never be neglected +by those who possess the means of becoming familiar +with them. Convenience, health and pleasure combine +to recommend both. No indulgence of the +<i>pride of skill</i>, however, should be permitted to exalt +these accessories of a polite education into the main<a name="Page_289" id="Page_289"></a> +business of life, as I believe I have before reminded +you.</p> + +<p>The <i>broadsword exercise</i>, <i>pistol-shooting</i>, <i>athletic +sports and games</i>, <i>sporting</i>, <i>gymnastic exercises</i>, etc., +etc., may be ranked among the minor manly +accomplishments with which it is desirable to be +familiar.</p> + +<p>Of no small importance, and of no insignificant +rank as an accomplishment, is a <i>ready and graceful +elocution</i>. Possessed by professional men, its value +can scarcely be overrated, and no young man, whatever +his aims in life, should esteem it unworthy of +attention, since private as well as public life afford +constant occasion for its exercise. To read <i>intelligibly</i>, +<i>audibly</i>, and <i>agreeably</i>, to speak with taste and +elegance, to address an audience—whether a mass +assemblage of the sovereign people, or the servants +of the people, in Congress assembled, or an intelligent +audience gathered for intellectual instruction and +enjoyment, each require careful and persevering +practice, critical discrimination and disciplined taste. +And what young American—with that control of +circumstances which especially distinguishes us from +all other peoples, with the high aspirations and purposes +to which all are equally entitled—shall say +that he will not have the most urgent occasion for, +and derive high advantage from the acquisition of +the <i>Art of Elocution</i>? But, apart from considerations +of utility, correct speaking and writing are +indispensable requisites to the privileges of good +society, and elegant polish in this respect is the<a name="Page_290" id="Page_290"></a> +desirable result and certain indication of natural +refinement.</p> + +<p>I will only add that elocutionary skill always +affords the possessor the means of promoting social +and domestic enjoyment, and that the finest sentiments +and the most eloquent language lose half +their proper effect when uttered in a mumbling or +muttering tone, as well as in too loud or too low a +voice.</p> + +<p>Closely allied to the accomplishment of which we +have been speaking, is that of <i>Conversational ease +and elegance</i>, an art in which all other nations are +excelled by the French, and in which we, perhaps, +most successfully emulate them.</p> + +<p>Unfortunately for our social advancement in this +respect,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem" style="font-style:italic;">"The well of English undefiled"</p> +<p class="continue">is not the only source from which the <i>vehicle of +thought</i> is derived. The use of slang phrases, of +crack words, even among the better educated classes +of society—and that in writing as well as in conversation—is +becoming noticeably prevalent. Nothing +can be more detrimental to the advancement of +those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than +the habit of using this inelegant language, and +there is nothing into which one may glide more +insensibly, when it becomes familiar from association.</p> + +<p>You will, perhaps, say that the amusement +afforded to others by the occasional adoption of these<a name="Page_291" id="Page_291"></a> +mirth-provoking vulgarisms affords an apology for +their use; and that would be a legitimate excuse, +did the matter end there. But who can hope successfully +to establish the line of demarcation that +shall separate the legitimate sphere of their applicability +from that in which they cannot properly claim +a place? We know how much we are all under +the dominion of <i>habit</i> in regard to the artificial +observances of life, and that once established, any +practice in which we indulge ourselves may manifest +itself unconsciously to us. Hence, then, it is no +more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our +discourse with inelegances of expression, ungrammatical +language, Yankeeisms, <i>localisms</i> (to coin a +word if it be not one, more expressive here than +<i>provincialisms</i>) or vulgarisms of any kind, than to +permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms +in good-breeding, with the protection only of a +<i>mental limitation</i> to their undue encroachment upon +our claims to refined associations.</p> + +<p>There is, therefore, no safe rule, except that +dictating the unvarying adoption of the <i>purest and +most expressive idiomatic English</i> we can command. +I remember to have heard it said of a celebrated +conversationist, whom I knew in my younger +days, that he not only always used a <i>good</i> word to +express his meaning, but the <i>very best</i> word afforded +by our language.</p> + +<p>The habit of <i>thinking clearly</i> might naturally be +supposed to produce the power of conveying ideas +to others with distinctness, were not the impression<a name="Page_292" id="Page_292"></a> +controverted by much evidence to the contrary. I +must believe, however, that the difference between +persons, in this respect, arises more frequently from +want of attention to the subject, than from all +other causes combined. I know of no other way +of sufficiently explaining the awkward, slipshod, +unsatisfactory mode of talking so common even +among educated people. Were we accustomed to +regarding conversational pleasures as among the +highest enjoyments of existence, and of making +them a part of our daily life—as the French of all +ranks do—a vast difference would exist between +what is, and what might be. With what intensity +of interest, with what vivacity of manner do the +polite and cultivated French <i>talk</i>! The <i>salons</i> of +the leaders of <i>ton</i> in Paris are nightly filled with +the literati, the artists, the soldiers and statesmen +concentered in that brilliant capitol. And they +assemble not to eat, not even to dance, to the exclusion +of all other gratifications, but to <i>talk</i>—to +exchange ideas upon topics and incidents of passing +interest—to receive and to communicate instruction, +as well as enjoyment. And even the common +people—whether eating their frugal evening repast +at a little table placed in the street, or seated in +groups in the garden of the Tuileries—how they +talk! with what <i>abandon</i>—to use their own word—with +what geniality, with what sprightliness! The +very children, sporting like so many birds of +gorgeous plumage, and musical tones, in the public +gardens and promenades, prattle of matters inte<a name="Page_293" id="Page_293"></a>resting +to them, with a graceful vivacity nowhere +else to be seen. All classes give <i>themselves up to +it—take time for it</i>, as one of the necessities of +daily life! But I should apologize for this digression.</p> + +<p>The advantage of <i>habitual practice</i>, then, cannot +be too highly commended to those who would +acquire colloquial skill. There is, also, no better +mode of fastening knowledge in the mind than +by accustoming one's self to clothing ideas in +spoken language, and the mere attempt to do so, +gives distinctness to thought.</p> + +<p>But while fluency and ease are the results of +practice, the <i>embellishments</i> of <i>conversation</i> require +careful culture. Wit, Humor, Repartee, though to +some extent natural gifts, may undoubtedly be +improved, if not attained, by artificial training.</p> + +<p>It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated +wits and conversationists of his day, prepared +himself for convivial occasions, like an +intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a +valiant struggle for supremacy. He may be said to +have made Conversation a <i>Profession</i>, to which he +gave his whole attention, as did the celebrated +youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his +neck-cloth, to that mysterious art!</p> + +<p>Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes, +before going into society, of appropriate topics and +witticisms for each occasion, upon which he relied +for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion +and accomplished talker. There is a good story<a name="Page_294" id="Page_294"></a> +told of his being exceedingly nonplussed, on some +important occasion, by having his memoranda purloined +by a friend, who, while waiting to accompany +the wit to an entertainment to which both +were invited, stole his thunder from his dressing-table, +where it had been placed in readiness. The +unlucky literary Boanerges was as powerless as +Jupiter robbed of his bolts!</p> + +<p>But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately +artificial as that ascribed to this spoiled fondling +of English aristocracy, there seems to be a propriety +in making some mental, as well as external +arrangements before entering society. Thus, passingly +to reflect, while making one's toilet for such +an occasion, upon the general character of the company +one is to meet, and upon the subjects most +appropriate for conversation with those with whom +one will probably be individually associated, may +not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such +reminiscences of personal adventures, popular intelligence, +etc., as the day may have furnished.</p> + +<p>Happily, however, for those who distrust their +power to surprise by erudition, or delight by +wit, <i>good-sense</i>, accompanied by <i>good-humor</i> and +<i>courtesy</i>, render their possessors the most enduringly +agreeable of social and domestic companions. +The <i>favorites of society</i> are usually those +who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing +upon others a painful sense of inferiority, or by +rudeness, impertinence, or assumption. Few have +sufficient magnanimity to <i>forgive superiority</i>, but<a name="Page_295" id="Page_295"></a> +good-nature and politeness need no excuse with +any.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence,<br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>A small unkindness is a great offence</i>!<br></span> +<span class="i0">* * * * *<br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>All may shun the guilt of giving pain.</i>"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Wit, however racy, should never find a place in +conversation when pointed at the expense of another, +and, indeed, <i>personalities</i>, even when free from condemnation +on this score, are usually in bad taste. +People of sensibility and refinement are much more +likely to be annoyed than gratified by being made +the auditors of conversation, even when politely intended, +which brings them into especial notice.</p> + +<p>Hence, nothing requires more delicacy and tact +than the <i>language of compliment</i>, which should +always be carefully distinguished from that of mere +flattery. The one is the expression of well-bred courtesy, +the other is oppressive and embarrassing to all +rightly constituted persons, and discreditable to the +taste by which it is dictated.</p> + +<p>As a general rule, it is better to talk of things +than of persons, and William Penn's rule to "<i>say +nothing of others, unless you can say something good +of them</i>," should have no exception. Let nothing +tempt you into the habit of indulging in gossip, +scandal, and unmanly puerility—not even a good-natured +desire to assimilate yourself to the companionship +of temporary associates. In this respect, +as in many others,<a name="Page_296" id="Page_296"></a></p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Vice is a monster of such hideous mien,<br></span> +<span class="i0">As to be hated, needs but to be seen;<br></span> +<span class="i0">But seen too oft, familiar with her face,<br></span> +<span class="i0">We first endure, then pity, then embrace."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>No conscientiously-enlightened man can reflect +for a moment upon the heinousness of <i>slander</i>, or +indeed of evil speaking when not allied with falsehood, +without abhorrence; and yet, how few can +assume that, in Heaven's High Chancery, there is no +such dark record against them.</p> + +<p>Permit me to remind you that a mere difference +of <i>intonation</i> or of <i>emphasis</i>, in repeating conversational +remarks, will sometimes suffice to convey a +wholly erroneous impression to others, and that a +mysterious glance, a nod, a shrug, a smile, may be +made equivalent to the "offense of <i>spoken words</i>."</p> + +<p>I have recommended the adoption of good, pure +English as the most unexceptionable colloquial coin. +Recurring to this point, let me express the opinion +that the most pretentious, or erudite language, is +not always that best adapted to the purposes of practical +life. No one is bound to speak ungrammatically +or incorrectly, even when communicating with +the illiterate, but the <i>simplest</i> phraseology, as well +as the most laconic, is often the most appropriate +and expressive, under such circumstances.</p> + +<p>Companionship with the educated justifies the +use, without justly incurring the charge of <i>pedantry</i>, +of every mode of conveying ideas that we are assured +is <i>intelligible</i> to them. Thus classical scholars may +use the learned languages, if they will, in mutual in<a name="Page_297" id="Page_297"></a>tercourse; +and the popular and familiar words and +phrases we have borrowed from the French, are +often a convenient resource, under similar circumstances. +All this is best regulated by good-breeding +and taste. It is always desirable to err on the safe +side, where there is a possibility of misapprehension, +or of incurring the imputation of affectation, or of a +love of display.</p> + +<p>This last consideration, by the way, affords an +additional incentive to the selection of such companionship +as is best suited to elicit the exercise of +conversational grace, and stimulate the mental cultivation +upon which it must be based. In addition to +this advantage, is that thus afforded of familiarizing +one's self with the usages of those who may be regarded +as <i>models</i> for the inexperienced. The modesty so +becoming in the young, will inspire a wish to <i>listen</i> +rather than talk; but—though to be an attentive +and interested listener is one of the most agreeable +and expressive of compliments—remember that +<i>practice</i>, if judiciously directed, cannot be too soon +attempted, to secure this desirable attainment.</p> + +<p>These remarks, I am fully aware, have been desultory +and digressive, but they were designed to be +rather suggestive than satisfactory; and experimental +knowledge will, I trust, more than compensate +you for my conscious deficiencies. I will add only a +general remark or two, and then no longer tax your +patience.</p> + +<p>The ladies—dear creatures!—are most prone, it +must be admitted, to the use of <i>exaggerated</i> language,<a name="Page_298" id="Page_298"></a> +in conversation; with them the superlative form of +the adjective will alone suffice for the full expression +of feeling or opinion. But this peculiarity is by no +means confined to those in whom enthusiasm and its +natural expression are most becoming. The sterner +sex are far from being exempt from this habit, which +often involves <i>looseness of thought</i>, <i>inaccuracy of +statement</i>, or <i>positive untruthfulness</i>. It is desirable, +as <i>a point of ethics</i>, to practise care in this regard. +Using the strongest forms of expression on ordinary +occasions, leaves one no <i>reserved corps</i> of language +for those requiring unusual impressiveness. <i>Accuracy</i> +is the great essential, many times, in the choice +of language. A clear idea, clearly and unequivocally +expressed, is indicative of a good and well-disciplined +intellect, each, as I have before intimated, the +result of <i>attention</i> and <i>practice</i>.</p> + +<p>Well-bred people are careful, when obliged to differ +with others in conversation, to do so in polite +language, and never to permit the certainty of being +in the right to induce a dictatoral or assuming manner. +When only a difference of opinion or of taste +is involved, young persons, particularly, should scrupulously +abstain from any appearance of obstinacy, +or self-sufficiency, and defend their impressions, if at +all, with a courteous deference to others. Usually, +nothing is gained by argument in general society. +No one is convinced, because no one wishes to be, +and many persons, even when 'convinced, will argue +still,' because unwilling, from wounded self-love, to +admit it. Much acrimony of feeling is engendered<a name="Page_299" id="Page_299"></a> +in this way—pertinacity often causing an unpleasant +conclusion to what was begun in entire good-feeling. +No one is bound to renounce a claim to his individual +rights in this respect, but modesty and courtesy +will never sit ill upon the young, while steadfastly +defending even a point of principle. "Never," said +Mr. Madison, in an admirable letter of advice to a +nephew, "<i>never forget that, precisely in proportion +as you differ from others in opinion, they differ with +you</i>." Let me add, that they who are honestly seeking +knowledge and truth, will carefully review and +re-weigh opinions, tastes, and principles in regard to +which they find themselves differing essentially with +those whom age, experience, and learning render +their admitted superiors.</p> + +<p>And if contradiction and opinionativeness are +inadmissible in good society, at least equal taste and +tact are required in conveying information to others. +Some graceful phrase, some self-renouncing admission +or explanation, which may secure you from the +envy or dislike that wounded vanity might otherwise +engender, should not be forgotten when circumstance +or education give you an advantage over others in +the intercourse of domestic or social life.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"As in smooth oil the razor best is whet,<br></span> +<span class="i0">So wit is by politeness sharpest set;<br></span> +<span class="i0">Their want of edge from their offense is seen,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Both pain us least when exquisitely keen,<br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>The fame men give is for the joy they find</i>!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>It is usually in bad taste to talk of one's self in<a name="Page_300" id="Page_300"></a> +general society. Humility of language, in this respect, +may easily be interpreted into insincerity, and +it is at least equally difficult, on the other hand, to +avoid the imputation of egotism. Frankness with +those to whom you are bound by the ties of friendship, +will, many times, be the best proof you can give +of the sincerity of your confidence and regard, but +this will in no degree interfere with a certain <i>self-abnegation</i> +in ordinary social intercourse. Politeness +may dictate our being listened to with a semblance of +interest, when our own health, affairs, adventures, or +misfortunes are the subject of detailed discourse on +our part, but the sympathy of the world is not easily +enkindled, and pity is often mingled with contempt. +People go into society to be amused, not to have +their courtesy taxed by appeals to sensibilities upon +which others have no claim. Carlyle has well said, +"<i>Silently swallow the chagrins of your position; +every position has them</i>." And it is so; but one's +"private griefs" are not lessened by exposure, nor +made more endurable by being constantly the theme, +either of one's thoughts or conversation. Let me add +that their legitimate use is to teach us a ready sympathy +with the sorrows and trials of others, rather +than a hardened self-engrossment.</p> + +<p>While you endeavor, therefore, to</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Conceal yoursel' as weel's ye can<br></span> +<span class="i2">Frae critical dissection,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">seek to excel in personal agreeability, not for the sake +of superiority so much as to secure the means of giv<a name="Page_301" id="Page_301"></a>ing +pleasure to others, and of entitling yourself to +the favorable regard of those whose society it is desirable +to enjoy. Even the readiest admirers of wit +may weary of the very brilliancy of its flashes, if the +coruscations too constantly recur, as the eye tires of +sheet-lightning, often repeated; but who will weary +of geniality, amiability, and</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Good breeding, the blossom of good sense,"</p> +<p class="continue">any sooner than will the eye of the lambent light of +fair Diana?</p> + +<p>No single characteristic of conversation, perhaps, so +universally commends the possessor to the favor of +society, as <i>cheerfulness</i>. "<i>A laugh</i>," said an eminent +observer of society, "<i>is the best vocal music; it +is a glee in which everybody can take part!</i>" I remember, +once, being for some weeks in a hotel with +a number of invalids, one of whom, though a constant +sufferer, always met me with a pleasant smile, +and uttered his passing salutations in a voice cheery +as a hunter's horn. Really, his simple "Good morning, +Colonel Lunettes," was so replete with good-humor, +courtesy, and cheerfulness, as to do one good +like a cordial. It so impressed me that, at length, +I responded, "Good morning, <i>cheerful sir</i>,—I believe +you never fail to greet your friends in a manner that +gives them pleasure." His pleasant smile grew +pleasanter, and his bright eye brighter, as he replied—"I +always make <i>a principle</i> of speaking +cheerfully to the sick, especially—they, of all others, +are most susceptible to outward impressions."<a name="Page_302" id="Page_302"></a> +"There is a world of philosophy, as well as of humanity, +in what you say," returned I, "and I can +personally testify to the good effects of your kindly +habit."</p> + +<p>But it is not alone the sick, the sad, or the sensitive +who hail a cheerful companion with delight—these +<i>Human Sunbeams</i> bring warmth and gladness to all—even +the least susceptible feel the effects of +their genial presence, almost unconsciously, and frequently +seek and enjoy their conversation when even +elegance and erudition would fail of attraction.</p> + +<p>The same tact and self-respect that will preserve +you from exhibitions of vanity and egotism, will +dictate discrimination in the selection of topics of +conversation, bearing upon matters of taste and sentiment, +as well as of opinion and principle.—All +affectation or assumption of superiority in this respect +is offensive and worse than useless. Those with +whom you have mental affinities will understand and +appreciate you; but beware, especially if sensitively +constituted, how you expose your sensibilities to the +ridicule, or your principles to the professed distrust +of those with whom, for any reason, you cannot +measure colloquial weapons upon entirely equal +terms.</p> + +<p>On the contrary, again, no well-bred man ever +rudely assails either the predilections or the principles +of others in general society. This is no more +the proper arena for intellectual conflicts than for +political sparring, or theological disputes. Whatever +tends to disturb the general harmony of a circle, or<a name="Page_303" id="Page_303"></a> +to give pain to any one present, is inexcusable, however +truthful and important in the abstract, however +wise or witty in itself considered, may be observations +tending to either or both results.</p> + +<p>This brings me to dwelling a moment upon a kindred +point—the discourtesy sometimes exhibited by +young men towards ladies and clergymen, in the use +of equivocal language, and the introduction of exceptionable +subjects in their hearing. Anything that +will crimson the cheek of true womanhood, or invade +the <i>unconsciousness</i> of <i>innocence</i>, is unworthy +and unmanly, to a degree of which it is not easy +to find language to express sufficient abhorrence. +The defencelessness of the dependent sex, in this, as +in all other respects, is their best protection with all +who—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Give the world assurance of a <i>man</i>!"</p> + +<p>And the same shield is presented by those whose +profession precludes their adopting the means of self-defence +permitted to the world at large. Nothing +can be more vulgar—setting aside the immorality of +the thing—than to speak disrespectfully of religion, or +of its advocates and professors, in society—what then +shall be said of those who assail the ears of the +acknowledged champions of Christianity with infidel +sentiments, contemptuous insinuations, or profane +expletives? Depend upon it, a <i>man of the world</i>, +whatever his honest doubts, or unorthodox convictions, +will be as little likely to present himself as a +mark in regard to these matters for the <i>suspicious +distrust</i>, or the <i>palpable misapprehension</i> of society,<a name="Page_304" id="Page_304"></a> +as to subject himself to the charges of extreme <i>juvenility</i> +and <i>low breeding</i> by assailing a clergyman with +ridicule, or a woman with libertinism, however +exquisite may be his wit in the one case, or apparently +refined his insinuations, in the other.</p> + +<p>While recommending to your attention the selection +of suitable and tasteful subjects of general conversation, +I should not omit to remind you that +nothing but acknowledged intimacy sanctions the +manifestation of curiosity respecting the affairs of +others. As a rule, <i>direct questions</i> are inadmissible +in good society. Listen with politeness to what may +be voluntarily communicated to you by your associates, +regarding themselves, but on no account, indulge +an impertinent curiosity in such matters; and +when courtesy sanctions the manifestation of interest, +express your desire for information in polite language, +and with a half-apologetic manner, that will +permit reserve, without embarrassment to either +party. Let me add, that an uncalled-for exhibition +of your familiarity with the private affairs of a friend, +when his own presence and manner should furnish +your proper clue to his wishes, is to prove yourself +unworthy of his confidence. As well might one +boast of his acquaintance with the great, or assume +an unceremonious manner towards them, on unsuitable +occasions. In either case, one is liable to the +repulse sustained by an unfortunate candidate for +fashionable distinction, who, approaching a member +of English <i>haut ton</i> in the streets of London, said, +"I believe I had the honor of knowing you in the<a name="Page_305" id="Page_305"></a> +country, sir."—"<i>When we again meet in the country</i>," +was the reply, "I shall be pleased to renew the +acquaintance!"</p> + +<p><i>Quickness of repartee</i> may be reckoned among the +graces of the colloquial art, and those who are gifted +with activity of intellect, and have acquired facility +in the use of expressive language, should possess the +power thus to embellish their social intercourse. +Every one is now and then inspired in this way, I +believe; but few persons, comparatively, even +among the most practised conversationists, excel in +this respect. How few, for instance, would have responded +as readily, in an emergency, as did the half-drunk +servant of Swift:</p> + +<p>"Is my fellow here?" inquired the Dean, pushing +open the door of a low tavern much frequented by +his often-missing <i>valet</i>.</p> + +<p>A nondescript figure came staggering forward, +and stuttered out—"<i>Your L-Lordship's f-a-l-l-o-w +can't b-be f-found in all I-Ire-Ireland!</i>"</p> + +<p>I have lately met, somewhere in my reading, with +the following anecdote of the elder Adams, as he is +frequently called. I remember, at this moment no +better illustration of ready repartee:</p> + +<p>"How are you this morning, sir?" asked a friend +who called to pay his respects to this patriotic +son of New England, during the latter days of his +life.</p> + +<p>"Not well," replied the invalid; "I am not well. +I inhabit a weak, frail, decayed tenement, open to<a name="Page_306" id="Page_306"></a> +the winds, and broken in upon by the storms, and +what is worse, <i>from all I can learn, the landlord +does not intend to make repairs</i>!"</p> + +<p><i>A ready and graceful reply to a compliment</i>, may, +also, be regarded as a conversational embellishment. +It is not polite to <i>retort</i> to the language of courtesy +with a charge of insincerity, or of flattery. <i>Playfulness</i> +frequently affords the best resource, or the +<i>retort courteous</i>, as in Lord Nelson's celebrated reply +to Lady Hamilton's questions of "Why do you differ +so much from other men? Why are you so superior +to the rest of your sex?" "If there were more +Emmas, there would be more Nelsons." One may +say, "I fear I owe your commendation to the partiality +of friendship;" or, "I trust you may never be +undeceived in regard to my poor accomplishments;" +or, "Really, madam, your penetration enables you +to make discoveries for me." Then again, to one of +the lenient sex, one may reply—"Mrs. Blank sees +all her friends through the most becoming of glasses—her +own eyes." And to an older gentleman, who +honors you with the fiat of a compliment, thus +proving that it may sometimes be false that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The vanquished have no friends,"</p> + +<p>"Really, sir, I do not know whether I am most overwhelmed +by admiration for your wit and politeness, +or by gratitude for your kindness." Or some phrase +like this will occasionally be appropriate—"I am +afraid, sir, I shall plume myself too highly upon your<a name="Page_307" id="Page_307"></a> +good opinion. You do me much honor;" or, "It +will be my <i>devoir</i>, as well as my happiness, for the +future, to deserve your commendation, sir;" or, +"You inspire as much as you encourage me, dear +sir—if I possess any claim to your flattering compliment, +you have yourself elicited it." To a compliment +to one's wit, or the like, one may reply—"Dullness +is always banished by the presence of +Miss ——;" or, "Who could fail to be, in some degree, +at least, inspired in such a presence?" Then, +again, a reply like this will suffice—"I am only +too happy in being permitted to amuse you, madam."</p> + +<p>Permit me in this connection, a few words respecting +<i>conversation with ladies</i>. Though all mere silliness +and twaddle should be regarded as equally +unworthy of them and yourselves, yet, in general +association with the fairest ornaments of creation, +<i>agreeability</i>, rather than profundity, should be your +aim, in the choice of topics. Sensitive, tasteful, +refined,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"And variable as the shade<br></span> +<span class="i0">By the light quivering aspen made,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">their vividness of imagination and sportiveness of +fancy demand similarity of intellectual gifts, or the +graceful tribute of, at least, temporary assimilation. +<i>Playfulness</i>, <i>cheerfulness</i>, <i>versatility</i>, and <i>courtesy</i> +should characterize colloquial intercourse with ladies; +but the deference due them should never degenerate<a name="Page_308" id="Page_308"></a> +into mere servile acquiescence, or mawkish sentimentality.</p> + +<p>The utmost <i>refinement of language and of matter</i> +should always be regarded as essential, under such +circumstances, to the discourse of a well-bred man; +and should, of course, distinguish his <i>manner</i> as well. +Thus, all slang phrases, everything approaching to +<i>double entendre</i>, all familiarity of address, unsanctioned +by relationship or acknowledged intimacy, all +mis-timed or unsanctioned use of nick-names and +Christian names, are as inadmissible in good society +as are personal familiarities, nudging, winking, whispering, +etc.</p> + +<p>Too much care cannot be taken in avoiding all +subjects that may have the effect to wound or distress +others. I think I have before remarked that +people go into society for enjoyment—relaxation +from the grave duties and cares of life—not to be +depressed by the misanthropy of others, or disturbed +by details of scenes of horror. I have known persons +who had such a morbid taste for such things as +always to insist upon reading aloud, even in the +hearing of children and ladies, the frightful newspaper +details of rail-road accidents and steamboat +explosions. I remember, in particular, once having +the misfortune to be acquainted with such a social +incubus, to whom a death in the neighborhood was +a regular God-send, and to whom the wholesale +slaughter made by the collision of rail-cars served as +colloquial capital for weeks—indeed until some pro<a name="Page_309" id="Page_309"></a>vident +body corporate supplied new material for his +cormorant powers of mental digestion! His letters +to distant friends were a regular <i>bill of mortality</i>, +filled with minute accounts of the peculiar form of +disease by which every old woman of his acquaintance +was enabled to shuffle off this mortal coil, and of +every accident that occurred in the country for miles +around—from the sudden demise of a poor widow's +cow, to the broken leg of a robber of bird's-nests! I +shall never forget the revulsion of feeling he produced +for me, one serene summer evening, as I was +placidly strolling over the sands by the sea-shore, +drinking in the glory of old Neptune's wide-spread +realm, by inflicting upon me, not only <i>himself</i>—which +was enough for mortal patience—but a long +rigmarole about the great numbers of fishes washed +upon the shore by a recent storm, who had had their +eyes picked out by birds of prey, while still struggling +for life in an uncongenial element! On +another occasion, I had the misfortune to be present +when a young lady was thrown into violent +hysterics by his mentioning, with as much <i>gusto</i> as +an inveterate "collector" would have exhibited in +boasting the possession of a <i>steak</i> from the celebrated +"antediluvian beef," immortalized by Cuvier,<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a> that +he had picked up a small foot with a lady's boot on<a name="Page_310" id="Page_310"></a> +it, while visiting the scene of a late rail-road accident!</p> + +<p>But avoiding these aggravated forms of grossness +is not enough. True politeness requires attention to +the peculiarities of each of the company you are with—teaching, +for instance, your abstaining from allusions +to their personal defects or misfortunes, to the +embarrassment of conversing with deaf persons, in +the presence of those thus afflicted, to lameness, +when some one present has lost a limb, to the peculiarities +of age, in the hearing of elderly persons, to +the vulgar impression that all lawyers are knaves, +when one of the sons of that noble profession is +among your auditors—to the murderous reputation +of the disciples of Esculapius, etc. This rule will +teach, too, the use of a less offensive term than that +of "old maid," when speaking of women of no particular +age, in the hearing of such as are by courtesy +only, without the pale alluded to; and the propriety +of not appealing to such authority in relation to +matters of remote personal remembrance!</p> + +<p>In no country with the social institutions of which +I am familiar, do the peculiar opinions obtain, which +prevail in this country respecting <i>age</i>. "Young +America" regards every one as old, apparently, who +has attained majority, and <i>women</i>, in particular, are +subjected to a most unjust ordeal in this respect. +The French have a popular saying that no woman +is agreeable until she is forty; and in both France +and England, <i>marriage</i>—which first entitles a young +lady to a decided position in society—usually occurs<a name="Page_311" id="Page_311"></a> +at a much later period in her life than with us. In +neither of those countries are girls <i>brought out</i> at an +age when here they are frequently already mothers! +But to return: nothing is more ill-bred, than this +too frequent assumption of the claims of women to +be exempt from social obligations and deprived of +their proper places in society, in this country, while +still retaining all their pristine claims to agreeability. +Polished manners, cultivated tastes and personal +attractions, are not to have their claims abrogated +by Time. You remember the poet says:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"The little Loves are infants ever,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The Graces are of every age!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>I well remember being intensely chagrined by an +exhibition of under-breeding in this way while +making a morning visit, with a young countryman +of ours, upon a beautiful English girl, a distant relative +of his.</p> + +<p>After discussing London fogs, and other kindred +topics, Jonathan suddenly burst forth, as if suddenly +inspired with a bright thought.</p> + +<p>"How's the old lady?"</p> + +<p>The largest pair of blue eyes, opening to their +full extent, turned wonderingly upon the querist.</p> + +<p>"Your <i>mother</i>,—is she well this morning?"</p> + +<p>"Mamma is pretty well, thank you; but it is not +possible that you regard her as <i>old</i>! Mamma is in +the very prime of life, only just turned of five and +forty! Dear mother! she is looking very pale and +sad in her widow's cap, but we have never thought<a name="Page_312" id="Page_312"></a> +of her as <i>old</i>," and a shadow, like the sudden darkening +of a fair landscape, dimmed those deep blue eyes +and that fine forehead.</p> + +<p>But enough upon this collateral point.</p> + +<p>I trust you will need no argument to convince you +of the vulgarity and immorality of permitting yourselves +the practice of <i>repeating private conversation</i>. +Nothing will more surely tend to deprive you of +the respect and friendship of well-bred people, since +nothing is more thoroughly understood in good +society, than a tacit recognition of that essential +security to social confidence and good-feeling which +utterly interdicts the repetition of private conversation.</p> + +<p>Let me only add to these rambling observations +the assurance that a <i>ready compliance</i> with the +wishes of others, in exercising any personal accomplishment, +is a mark of genuine good-breeding.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>During one of my visits to London, some years +since, the Duke of —— invited me to run down with +him, for a few days, to his magnificent estate in +——shire.</p> + +<p>Riding one morning with my host and a numerous +party of his guests, we paused to breathe +our horses, and enjoy the fine prospect, upon the +summit of a hill overlooking the wide-spread acres +of his lordship.</p> + +<p>"Here the estate of my neighbor, Mr. ——, joins<a name="Page_313" id="Page_313"></a> +my land," said the Duke, pointing, with his riding-whip, +towards a narrow, thickly-wooded valley, at +our feet. "You catch a glimpse of his turrets +through the oaks yonder. This spot always reminds +me," pursued our host, laughing, "of an amusing +incident of which it was the scene, years ago, when +the family of my neighbor had not become as distinguished +as it now is, among the philanthropists of +the age. A young friend of ours, who was spending +the shooting-season here with my sons, while +eagerly pursuing his game, one morning, unconsciously +trespassed upon the preserves of Mr. ——. +The report of his fowling-piece brought Mr. —— +suddenly to his side, just as he was triumphantly +bagging his bird. My excellent neighbor, with all +his admirable qualities, is sometimes a little choleric, +and you know, Col. Lunettes, [bowing and +smiling] that nothing sooner rouses the ire of a true +Englishman, than an invasion of the <i>Game Laws</i>."</p> + +<p>"'Sir!' cried Mr. ——, in a voice trembling with +ill-suppressed fury, 'do you know that you are trespassing,—that +these are <i>my</i> grounds?'</p> + +<p>"My young guest was not permitted fully to +explain, before the angry man again burst forth with +a tirade, which he concluded, by asking—'What +would you do yourself, sir, under such circumstances? +How would you feel disposed to treat a gentleman +who had encroached upon your rights in this way?'</p> + +<p>"'Well, really, sir, since you ask me, I think I +should <i>invite him to go with me to the house and +take a mouthful of <a name="tn_png_314"></a><!--TN: Double quote removed at end of paragraph-->lunch</i>!'<a name="Page_314" id="Page_314"></a></p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_314a"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "This"-->"This was irresistible! Even ——'s indignation +was cooled by such inimitable <i>sang froid</i>, and he at +once adopted the suggestion of the young sportsman. +My witty guest not only secured the refreshment +he needed, but, eventually, helped himself to a +<i>bonne bouche</i> of more substantial character, by his +marriage with one of the blooming daughters of +my neighbor, to whom he was introduced on that +memorable occasion!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>A young American of my acquaintance, met, not +long since, in the <i>salons</i> of a distinguished <i>Parisienne</i>, +one of the most learnedly scientific of the +French authors of our times.</p> + +<p>"I am as much surprised as I am delighted, to +meet you here to-night, Mr. ——," said my friend, +<a name="tn_png_314b"></a><!--TN: Single quote changed to a double quote before "I"-->"I supposed you too much occupied in profound +research and study, to find time for such enjoyments."</p> + +<p>"I am, indeed, much occupied at present," returned +the <i>savant</i>; "but I can neither more agreeably +nor more profitably spend a portion of my time than +in the society of my refined and cultivated friend, +Madame ——, and that of the intellectual and +accomplished visitors I always meet at her house."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Speaking, in the body of this letter, of the uselessness +of <i>arguing</i> with the hope of convincing others,<a name="Page_315" id="Page_315"></a> +reminded me, by association, of a little incident +illustrative of my opinion, of which I was once a +witness, during a summer sojourn at Avon Springs—a +little quiet watering-place in the Empire State, +as you may know.</p> + +<p>There was a pleasant company of us, and our +intercourse was agreeable and friendly—all, apparently, +disposed to contribute to the general stock of +amusement, and to make the most of our somewhat +limited resources in the way of general entertainment. +There were pretty daughters and managing +mammas, heiresses, and ladies without fortune, who +were quite as attractive as those whose fetters were +of gold, the usual complement of brainless youths, +antiquated bachelors and millionaire widowers (so +reputed), with a sprinkling of nondescripts and old +soldiers, like myself.</p> + +<p>It was our custom to muster, in great force, every +morning, and go in a mammoth omnibus from our +hotel to the "Spring" to bathe and drink the +delectable sulphur-water, there abounding. On +these occasions, every one was good-humored, obliging, +and cheerfully inclined to make sacrifices for +the comfort and convenience of others. The <i>ladies</i>, +especially, were the objects of particular care and +courtesy, being always politely assisted up and +down the high, awkward steps of our lumbering +conveyance, with their bathing parcels, etc.</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">——"All went merry as a marriage bell,"</p> + +<p class="continue">until one unlucky day when some theological point<a name="Page_316" id="Page_316"></a> +became matter of discussion between two men of +opposite opinions, just as we were commencing our +return-ride from the Spring. Others were soon +drawn, first into listening, and then into a participation +in the conversation, until almost every man +in the company had betrayed a predilection for the +distinctive tenets of some particular religious sect. +Thus, Baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, Congregationalists, +Episcopalians, Unitarians, and Romanists +stood revealed, each the ardent champion of his +own peculiar views. The ladies had the good sense +to remain silent, with the exception of an "Equal +Rights" woman, whose wordy interposition clearly +proved that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem" style="font-style:italic;">"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!"</p> +<p class="continue">Well! of course, no one was convinced by this +sudden outbreak of varied eloquence of the fallacy +of opinions he had previously entertained, and of +the superior wisdom of those of any one of his +companions. Indeed, so eager was each in the +maintenance of his own ground, as scarcely to heed +the arguments of his opponents, except as furnishing +a fresh impulse for advancing his own with +increasing pertinacity.</p> + +<p>Presently, flushed cheeks, angry glances, and +louder tones gave token that the meek spirit of the +long-suffering <i>Prince of Peace</i> was not dominant in +the breasts of these, the professed advocates of his +doctrines. Rude language, too, gradually took the +place of the professed courtesy with which the discus<a name="Page_317" id="Page_317"></a>sion +had begun, and the ladies looked uneasily from +the windows, as if to satisfy themselves that escape +from such disagreeable association was near at hand. +Happily for them, our Jehu, though unmindful of +any particular occasion for haste, at length drew up +before Comstock's portico. But, in place of the +usual patient waiting of each for his turn to alight, +and the usual number of extended hands that were +wont to aid the ladies in their descent, every one of +the angry combatants crowded hastily out of the +vehicle, almost before it had fairly stopped, wholly +disregardful alike of the toes of his neighbors and +the claims before universally accorded to the gentler +portion of our company, and hurried up the steps, +apparently forgetful of everything except the uncomfortable +chafings of wounded self-love! Each +man, evidently, regarded himself as the most abused +of mortals, and the rest as a parcel of obstinate fools, +for whom it were a great waste of ammunition to +assume the martyr's fate! And I am by no means +sure, that the cheerful amicability that had before +prevailed among us was ever fully restored after +this unhappy outbreak of <i>religious feeling</i>!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>The gayest of capitals experienced a sensation! +The wittiest of circles, where all was wit, were, for +once, content to listen only! The brave, the great, +the learned, and the fair, contended for the smiles +and the society of the Marquis de Plusesprit, the<a name="Page_318" id="Page_318"></a> +handsomest, the most accomplished, and the wittiest +man in Paris!</p> + +<p>One day, while this social <i>furore</i> was at its height, +a celebrated physician received a professional visit +from an unknown, whose pale cheeks and sunken +eyes bore testimony to the suffering to which he +described himself as being a prey. The man of +science prepared a prescription, but assured his +patient that what would most speedily effect his +restoration was change of scene and agreeable +society.</p> + +<p>"Seek in congenial companionship relief from +the mental anxiety by which you are evidently +oppressed," said the modern Esculapius—"fly from +study and self-contemplation;—above all, <i>court the +society of the Marquis de Plusesprit</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Alas! doctor," returned the stranger, "<i>I am +Plusesprit!</i>"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Speaking of Repartee, reminds me of a pretty scene +of which I was a witness, not long since, while ruralizing +for a week with an old friend and his charming +daughters, at their beautiful and hospitable home, +on the banks of the Hudson. By the way, I have +before introduced you to their acquaintance—the +pleasant family of <i>letter-writing memory</i>!—</p> + +<p>An elderly foreign gentleman, of large information +and agreeable manners, but not one of fortune's +favorites, had been dining with us, by special invitation, +and the lovely daughters of my host had vied<a name="Page_319" id="Page_319"></a> +with each other in doing honor to one in whom sensitiveness +may have been rendered a little morbid +by the effect of the tyrant Circumstance. Every +hour succeeding his arrival had served more effectually +to melt away a certain constraint of manner, +by which he seemed at first oppressed, and his expressive +face grew bland and genial under the sunny +influences of courteous respect and appreciation, until +when he rose to go away at sunset, he seemed almost +metamorphosed out of the man of the morning.</p> + +<p>The sisters three, accompanied their agreeable +visitor to the vine-draped veranda, where I was +already seated, attracted by the beauty of the evening, +and of my local surroundings. I had been particularly +admiring a fine large orange-tree, at the +entrance of the porch, which was laden with flowers +and fruit, and, with glittering pearls from a shower +just bestowed upon it by the gardener.</p> + +<p>"Will you not come again, before Colonel Lunettes +<a name="tn_png_319"></a><!--TN: Comma removed before "us"-->leaves us, Mr. ——?" asked my sweet young +friend Fanny, in her most cordial tones, linking her +arm in that of one sister, and clasping the waist of the +other, as she spoke, "we will invoke the Loves and +Graces to attend you"——</p> + +<p>"The Graces!" exclaimed the guest, quickly,—extending +his hands towards the group, and bowing +profoundly—"then you will come yourselves!—<i>the +Graces are before me!</i>" And then he added, with a +courtly air—"Really, Miss Fanny, you too highly +honor a rusty old man"——</p> + +<p>"An old man," interrupted Fanny, with the utmost<a name="Page_320" id="Page_320"></a> +vivacity, dissolving the "linked sweetness" that had +intwined her with her sisters, and extending her +beautiful arm towards the superb orange-tree before +her, "an old man!—here is a fitting emblem of +our friend Mr. ——;—all the attractiveness of youth +still mingled with the matured fruit of experience!"</p> + +<p>Charming Fanny! God bless her!—she is one of +those earth-angels whose manifold gifts seem used +only to give happiness to others!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I called one evening, not long since, to pay my +respects to the daughter of a recently-deceased and +much-valued friend. She had been persuaded into +a journey to a distant city, in search of the health and +spirits that had been exceedingly impaired by watching +beside the death-bed of her departed mother. +Her appearance could scarcely fail, as it seemed to +me, to interest the most insensible stranger to her +history;—for myself, I was inexpressibly touched by +the language of the colorless face and languid eyes +to which a simple black robe lent additional meaning.</p> + +<p>Just as I began to indulge a hope that the faint +smile my endeavors at cheerful conversation had +caused to flicker about her lips—as a rose-tint illumines +for a moment the white summit of an Alpine +height—there entered the drawing-room of our hostess +a bevy of noisy women, young and old, who +gathered about the sofa, where my friend and I were<a name="Page_321" id="Page_321"></a> +seated near our hostess, and rattled away like so +many pieces of small (very small!) artillery.</p> + +<p>I saw plainly that the mere noise was almost too +much for the nerves of the silent occupant of the sofa +corner; but what was my surprise at hearing them +go into the most minute particulars respecting the +recent death of a gentleman of our acquaintance! +His dying words, his very death-struggles were carefully +reported, and the grief of the survivors graphically +described!</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, having relinquished my seat beside +the mourner to one of these women, I was +powerless in my intense wish to attract her attention +from the subject of their discourse; but my eyes +were riveted upon her, with the keenest sympathy +for the torture she must be undergoing. Her pale +face had gradually grown white as a moonbeam, +until, at length, as though strengthened by desperation, +she sprang from her seat, and essayed to leave +the room. One step forward, a half-stifled sob, and +the slender form lay extended on the floor in hapless +insensibility.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"While Mr. Smith is tuning his guitar, let us beg +Mrs. Williams to redeem her promise of reciting +Campbell's 'Last Man' for us," said a graceful hostess, +mindful of the truth that some of her guests +preferred eloquence and poetry to sweet sounds, and +desirous, too, of drawing out the accomplishments of +all her guests.<a name="Page_322" id="Page_322"></a></p> + +<p>Mrs. Williams, gifted with</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The vision and the faculty divine,"</p> + + +<p class="continue">glanced a little uneasily at the ever-twanging guitar +as she politely assented to the requests that eagerly +seconded that of her hostess. Mr. Smith still continued +to hum broken snatches of an air, twisting the +screws of his instrument with complete self-engrossment, +the while.</p> + +<p>"I will not interrupt Mr. Smith," said the lady, +in more expressive tones than were ever elicited from +catgut by the efforts of that gentleman, moving with +a step graceful as that of a gazelle to the other end +of the room.</p> + +<p>Our little circle gathered about her, and enjoyed, +in an exquisite degree,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The feast of reason, and the flow of soul,"</p> + +<p class="continue">that so far surpasses the merely sensuous pleasure +afforded by music, when not associated with exalted +sentiment.</p> + +<p>As the company broke into little groups, after +thanking Mrs. Williams for the high gratification for +which we were her debtors, I overheard Mr. Smith +say, with a discontented air, to a youth with a +"<i>lovely moustache</i>," who had "accompanied" him in +his previous musical endeavors, "I'll never bring +my instrument <i>here</i> again!"</p> + +<p>At this critical moment, our hostess approached +with a water-ice, as a propitiatory offering, and +expressed the hope that the guitar was now renewed<a name="Page_323" id="Page_323"></a> +for action. The musician, with offended dignity, +only condescended to reply, as he deposited his idol +in a corner—</p> + +<p>"Thank you, ma'am; I supposed your friends +were <i>fond of music</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Discussing the mooted subject of <i>beards</i> one morning +lately, with some sprightly young ladies of my +acquaintance, the following specimen of quickness +of repartee was elicited. I record it for your amusement.</p> + +<p>"Among the ancients, I believe," said a fair girl, +"a long, snowy beard was considered an emblem +of the wisdom of the possessor."</p> + +<p>"And how is it in modern times?" inquired another +lady, "does wisdom keep pace, in exact proportion +with length of beard?"</p> + +<p>"No, indeed," exclaimed the first speaker, laughingly, +"for,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"If beards long and bushy true wisdom denote,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Then Plato must bow to a hairy he-goat!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>What would an educated foreigner—Kossuth, for +instance, who learned English <i>by the study of Shakspeare</i>—make +of the following specimens of colloquial +American language?</p> + +<p>"Do tell, Jul," exclaimed a young lady, "where +<i>have</i> you been marvelling to? You look like Time +in the primer!"<a name="Page_324" id="Page_324"></a></p> + +<p>"No you don't," returned the young lady addressed, +"you can't come it over dis chil'!"</p> + +<p>"No, no," chimed in a youth of the party, "you +can't come it quite, Miss Lib! Don't try to poke +fun at us!"</p> + +<p>"You've all been <i>sparking</i> in the woods, I +guess!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, ho," laughed one of the speakers, "I thought +you'd get it through your hair, at last—that's rich!"</p> + +<p>"Why!" retorted the interlocutor, tartly, "do +you think I don't know tother from which?"</p> + +<p>"I think you 'know beans' as well as most +Hoosiers," replied her particular admirer, in a tone +of unmistakable blandishment.</p> + +<p>"Everybody knows Jul's <i>some pumpkins</i>," admitted +one of her fair companions.</p> + +<p>"Come, Jul, rig yourself in a jiffy," said a bonny +lassie, who had not yet spoken, "you are in for a +spree!"</p> + +<p>"What's in the wind—who's to stand the shot?" +cautiously inquired the damsel addressed.</p> + +<p>"We're bound on a spree, I tell you! You must +be <i>green</i> to think we'll own the corn now! Come, +fix up, immediately, if not sooner!" so saying, the +energetic speaker seized her friend round the waist +and gallopaded her out of the room.</p> + +<p>Presently some one said, "Well, Jul and Lotty +have made themselves scarce!—I——by George, +it makes a fellow open his potato-trap to hang around +waitin' so," and an expansive yawn attested the +sincerity of this declaration.<a name="Page_325" id="Page_325"></a></p> + +<p>"I could scare up my traps a heap sight quicker, +I reckon, and tote 'em too, from here to the river, +nigger fashion," rejoined a Southerner, of the group.</p> + +<p>"Some chicken fixins and pie doins wouldn't be +so bad—would they, though?" whispered a tall, +Western man to his next neighbor.</p> + +<p>"And a little suthin to wet your whistle, too," +added another, overhearing the remark—"you're a +trump, anyhow!"</p> + +<p>"Then you do <i>kill a snake</i>, sometimes, Mr. +Smith," inquired one of his auditors, smiling significantly.</p> + +<p>"Does your anxious mother know you're out?" +retorted Mr. Smith, twirling his fingers on his nose.</p> + +<p>"Don't be wrathy, Smith—what's your tipple, +old fellow?" put in one of the young men, soothingly +stroking the broad shoulders of that interesting +youth.</p> + +<p>"You're E Pluribus—you're a brick," returned +Mr. Smith, softening, "but where in thunder are +those female women? They'ave sloped and given us +the mitten, I spose"——</p> + +<p>"You ain't posted up, my boy, if you think they'd +given us the slip," answered his friend.</p> + +<p>"By jingo! it takes the patience of all <a name="tn_png_325"></a><!--TN: "th" changed to "the"-->the world +and the rest of mankind to dance attendance upon +them—they ain't as peart as our <i>gals o' wind</i>!" +cried Mr. Smith, in an ecstasy of impatience.</p> + +<p>"How's your ma, Mr. John Smith?" inquired +the merry voice of "Jul," who had entered unperceived, +"you'd better dry up!"<a name="Page_326" id="Page_326"></a></p> + +<p>"Here we are, let's be off," shouted a young gentleman.</p> + +<p>"All aboard," echoed another.</p> + +<p>"Now we'll go it with a rush!" burst from a +third, and, suiting the action to the word, my +<i>dramatis personæ</i> vanished like the wind.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Having the happiness to pass a morning at the +<i>Louvre</i> with my early and lamented friend, Washington +Allston, he said to me, as arm in arm we +sauntered slowly through one of the Galleries—"Come +and study one of my particular favorites +with me—one might as well attempt to taste all the +nondescript dishes at a Chinese state-dinner as to +enjoy every picture in a collection, at a single visit. +I do not even glance at more than one or two, unless +I know that I shall have months before me for +renewing my inspection—better take away one distinct +recollection, to add to one's <i>private collection</i>, +than half a dozen confused, imperfect copies!"</p> + +<p>I think it was a <i>Murillo</i> before which the artist +paused while speaking; the celebrated work representing +a monk, who had been interrupted by death +while writing his own biography, as being permitted +to return to earth to complete his self-imposed task. +I am not sure but this picture, however, was added +some years later to the treasures of the Louvre, by +Napoleon—for we were both young men then—however, +it matters not. I was quite as much occu<a name="Page_327" id="Page_327"></a>pied +in observing the <i>living picture</i> before me, as +that of the great master. And, though memory has +proved somewhat treacherous, I still vividly recollect +the spiritualized face of this true child of genius, +as he contemplated the magnificent impersonation. +His brow grew radiant, and his eye! ah, who shall +portray that soul-lit eye, or justly record the poetic +language that fell, almost unconsciously, from his +half-inspired lips! Sacredly are they cherished +among the hoarded memories of youthful friendship? +It was only my purpose to recall for your benefit +the opinion and practice of one so fully competent +to advise in relation to our subject.</p> + +<p>What Disraeli has somewhere said of eating, +may, with equal nicety of epicureanism, be applied +to the enjoyment of Ideal Art, and of that of +which it is the type—natural beauty:—"To eat, +really to eat," asserts the discriminatingly sensuous +Jew, "one should eat alone, in an easy dress, by a +soft light, and of a single dish at a time!" For myself—but +there's no accounting for tastes!—I should +desire on all such occasions,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"One fair spirit for my minister,"</p> + +<p class="continue">or rather, for my sympathizing companion!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>As an illustration of the advantage to a man in +public life, of <i>ready elocution and ready wit</i>, let me +sketch for you a little scene of which I was the<a name="Page_328" id="Page_328"></a> +amused and interested witness, one morning some +months ago, while on a visit at Washington.</p> + +<p>A <i>Chaplain</i> was to be elected for the House of +Representatives. General Granger, of New York, +proposed a Soldier of the Revolution as well as of the +Cross—the Rev. Mr. Waldo—adding a few impressive +facts in relation to his venerable and interesting +friend—as that he was then in his ninety-fourth +year, had borne arms for his country in his youth, +etc.</p> + +<p>Upon this, some member, upon the <i>opposition +benches</i>, as the English say, called out:</p> + +<p>"What are his claims? where did he serve?"</p> + +<p>"The gentleman will permit me to refer him to +the Pension Office," returned General Granger, with +the most smiling urbanity; "he will there find the +more satisfactory answer to his queries."</p> + +<p>"What are Mr. Waldo's politics?"</p> + +<p>"Though a most amiable gentleman and devout +Christian, he belongs, sir, to—the <i>Church Militant</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Is he a <i>Filibuster</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Even so, sir! Mr. Waldo filibustered for the +<i>Old Thirteen</i>, against George the Third, in the +American Revolution!"</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">I am, my dear boys, as ever,<br></span> +<span class="presignature2">Your affectionate,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">"Uncle Hal."</span><br></span> +</div> + + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> Speaking in one of his public lectures, of the recent discovery +(amid the eternal snows of Siberia, I think), of the carcass of a +<i>mastodon</i>, upon which the hunting-dogs of the explorers had +fed—"<i>Thus</i>," said the great naturalist, "<i>did modern dogs gorge +themselves upon antediluvian beef!</i>"</p></div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_329" id="Page_329"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_X" id="LETTER_X"></a>LETTER X.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">HABIT.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Friends:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">If</span> you wish to have power to say, in the +words of the imperial slave of the beautiful Egyptian,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Let me, . . . . . . .<br></span> +<span class="i0">With those hands that grasp'd the heaviest club,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Subdue my worthiest <i>self</i>,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">you must not wholly overlook the importance of +<i>Habit</i>, while establishing your system of life.</p> + +<p>Always indicative of character, habit may yet, to +a certain extent, do us the greatest injustice, through +mere inadvertency. Indeed, few young persons +attach much importance to such matters, until compelled +by necessity to unlearn, with a painful effort, +what has been insensibly acquired.</p> + +<p>Permit me, then, a few random suggestions, intended +rather to awaken your attention to this branch of +a polite education, than to furnish elaborate directions +in relation to it.</p> + +<p>Judging from the prevalent tone of social intercourse +among our countrymen, both at home and<a name="Page_330" id="Page_330"></a> +abroad, one might naturally make the inference, that +most of them regard <i>Rudeness</i> and <i>Republicanism</i> as +synonymous terms. Depend upon it, that as a people, +we are retrograding on this point. Our upper class—or +what would fain be deemed such—in society, +may more successfully imitate the fashionable follies +and conventional peculiarities of the Old World, than +their predecessors upon the stage of action did; but +fashion is not good breeding, any more than arrogant +assumption, or a defiant independence of the +amenities of life, is true manliness. Breaking away +from the ceremonious old school of habit and manner, +we are rapidly running into the opposite extreme, +and the masses who, with little time or inclination +for personal reflection, on such subjects, naturally +take their clue, to some extent, from the assumed +exponents of the laws of the fickle goddess, exaggerating +the value of the defective models they seek to +imitate, into the grossest caricature of the whole, and, +mistaking rudeness for ease, and impudence for independence, +so defy all abstract propriety, as, if not to +"make the angels weep," at least to mortify and disgust +all observant, thinking men, whose love and +pride of country sees in trifles even, indications +more or less auspicious to national advancement.</p> + +<p>All this defiance of social restraint, this professed +contempt for the suavities and graces that should +redeem existence from the complete engrossment of +actualities, is bad enough at home; but its exhibition +abroad is doubly humiliating to our national dignity. +Every American who visits foreign countries, whether<a name="Page_331" id="Page_331"></a> +as the accredited official representative of his government, +or simply in the character of a private +citizen, owes a duty to his native land, as one of +those by the observance of whom strangers are forming +an estimate of the social and political advancement +of the people who are making the great experiment +of the world, and upon whom the eyes of all +are fixed with a peculiar and scrutinizing interest.</p> + +<p>It has been well said of us, in this regard, that +"<i>our worst slavery is the slavery to ourselves</i>." +Trammelled by the narrowest social prejudices at +home, Americans, breaking loose from these restraints +abroad, run riot, like ill-mannered school-boys, suddenly +released from the discipline which, from its +very severity, prompts them to indulge in the extreme +of license. Thus, we lately had accounts of +the humiliating conduct of some Americans, who, +being guests one night at the Tuileries, actually +so far forgot all decency as to intrude their +drunken impertinence upon the personal observation +of the Emperor! And, when informed, the next +morning, that, at the instance of their insulted host, +the police had followed them, when they left the +palace, to ascertain whether they were not suspicious +characters who had surreptitiously obtained admittance +to the imperial fête, they are reported to have +pronounced the intelligence "<i>rich!</i>" Shame on +such exhibitions!—they disgrace us nationally.</p> + +<p>If our countrymen would be content to learn from +older peoples on these points, it would be well. In +the Elegant and Ideal Arts, in Literature, in general<a name="Page_332" id="Page_332"></a> +Science, the superiority of our predecessors in the history +of Progress, is cheerfully admitted. Can we, +then, learn nothing from the matured civilization of +the Old World in regard to the <i>Art of Living</i>? Shall +we defy the race to which we belong, on this point +alone? This secret is possessed in greatest perfection +by those who have longest studied its details, and +some long existent nations who display little practical +wisdom in matters of political science, are greybeard +sages here. So then, let us learn from them +what they can easily save us the trouble of acquiring +by difficult experiments for ourselves, and, concentrating +our energies upon higher objects, give them +back a full equivalent for their knowledge of the best +mode of serving the <i>Lares</i>, the <i>Muses</i>, and the <i>Graces</i>, +by a successful illustration of the truth, that <i>as a +people we are capable of self-government</i>! We shall, +then, no longer have the wife of an American minister +ignorantly invading the Court Rules at Madrid, +by sporting the colors sacred to royal attire there, +and so giving occasion for national offense, as well +as individual conflict, nor furnish Punch with material +for the admonitory reflection that the bond of +family union between John Bull and his cousin Jonathan +must be somewhat uncertain "when so small a +matter as the <i>tie of a cravat can materially affect the +price of stocks</i>!" And, when vulgar bluster and +braggadocio are no longer mistaken for the proper +assertion of national and individual independence, +we shall not have an American gentleman who, like +our justly-distinguished countryman, George Pea<a name="Page_333" id="Page_333"></a>body, +constantly exhibits the most urbane courtesy, +alike towards foreigners and towards the citizens of +the native country to which his life has been one +prolonged pæan, accused of <i>toadying</i>, because he +quietly conforms to the social usages of the people +among whom he lives!</p> + +<p>But pardon me these generalities. I have been +unintentionally led into them, I believe, by my keen +sense of mortification at some of the incidents to +which I have alluded.</p> + +<p>Coming then to details, let us, primarily, resolve +to be slaves to nothing and to no one—neither to +others nor to ourselves; and to endeavor to establish +such habits as shall entitle each of us, in the estimation +of discriminating observers, to the distinctive +name of <i>gentleman</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Constant association with well-bred and well-educated +society</i>, cannot be too highly estimated as an +assistant in the acquisition of the attributes of which +we propose to speak. A taste for such companionship +may be so <a name="tn_png_333"></a><!--TN: "strengthed" changed to "strengthened"-->strengthened by habit as to form a +strong barrier to the desired indulgence of grosser +inclinations. "Show me your friends, and I'll tell +you what you are," is a pithy Spanish proverb. +Choose yours, I earnestly entreat, in early life, with +a view to self-improvement and self-respect. And, +while on this point, permit me to warn you against +mistaking pretension, wealth, or position, for intrinsic +merit; or the advantages of equality in elevated +social rank, for an equivalent to mental cultivation, +or moral dignity.<a name="Page_334" id="Page_334"></a></p> + +<p>One of the collateral benefits resulting from proper +social associations, will be an escape from <i>eccentricities</i> +of manner, dress, language, etc.; erroneous +habits in relation to which, when once established, +often cling to a man through all the changes of time +and circumstance.</p> + +<p>But, as observation proves that this, though a +safeguard, is by no means always a sufficient defense, +it is well to resort to various precautions, +additionally—as a prudent general not only carefully +inspects the ramparts that guard his fortress, but +stations sentinels, who shall be on the look-out for +approaching foes.</p> + +<p>So then, my dear boys, do not regard me as descending +to puerilities unworthy of myself and you, +when I call your attention to such matters as your +attitude in standing and sitting, or any other little +individualizing peculiarities.</p> + +<p>Some men fall into a habit of walking and standing +with their heads run out before them, as if doubtful +of their right to keep themselves on a line with +their fellow-creatures. Others, again, either elevate +the shoulders unnaturally, or draw them forward so +as to impede the full, healthful play of the lungs. +This last is too much the peculiar habit of <i>students</i>, +and contracted by stooping over their books, undoubtedly. +Then again, you see persons swinging +their arms, and see-sawing their bodies from side to +side, so as to monopolize a good deal more than their +rightful share of a crowded thoroughfare, steamer +cabin, or drawing-room floor. Nothing is more <a name="tn_png_334"></a><!--TN: "un comfortable" changed to "uncomfortable"-->un<a name="Page_335" id="Page_335"></a>comfortable +than walking arm in arm with such a +man. He pokes his elbows into your ribs, pushes +you against passers-by, shakes you like a reed in the +wind, and, perhaps, knocks your hat into the gutter +with his umbrella—and all with the most good-humored +unconsciousness of his annoying peculiarity. +If you are so unfortunate as to be shut up in a carriage +with him, his restless propensity relieves itself +to the great disturbance of the reserved rights of +ladies, and the frequent impalement upon his protruding +elbows of fragments of fringe, lace, and +small children! At table, if it be possible, his +neighbors gently and gradually withdraw from his +immediate vicinity, leaving a <i>clearing</i> to his undisputed +possession. He usually may be observed to +stoop forward, while eating, with his plate a good +foot from the customary locality of that convenience, +pushed before him towards the middle of the table, +and his arms so adjusted that his elbows play out +and in, like the sweep of a pair of oars.</p> + +<p>A little seasonable attention to these things will +effectually prevent a man of sense from falling into +such peculiarities. Early acquire the habit of standing +and walking with your chest thrown out—your +head erect—your abdomen receding rather than protruding—not +leaning back any more than forward—with +your arms <i>scientifically</i> adjusted—your hat on +the <i>top</i> (not on the back, or on one side) of your +head—with a self-poised and firm, but elastic tread; +not a tramp, like a war-horse; not a stride, like a +fugitive bandit; not a mincing step, like a conjurer<a name="Page_336" id="Page_336"></a> +treading on eggs; but, with a compact, manly, homogeneous +sort of bearing and movement.</p> + +<p>Where there has been any discipline at least, if +not always, inklings of character may be drawn +from these tokens in the outer man. For instance—the +light, quick, cat-like step of Aaron Burr, was as +much a part of the man as the Pandemonium gleam +that lurked in the depths of his dark, shadowed eyes. +I remember the one characteristic as distinctly as +the other, when I recall his small person and peculiar +face. So with the free, firm pace by which the +noble port of De Witt Clinton was accompanied—one +recognized, at a glance, the high intellect, the +lofty manhood, embodied there.</p> + +<p>Crossing the legs, elevating the feet, lounging on +one side, lolling back, etc., though quite excusable +in the <i>abandon</i> of bachelor seclusion, should never +be indulged in where ceremony is properly required. +In the company of ladies, particularly, too much +care cannot be exhibited in one's attitudes. It is then +suitable to sit upright, with the feet on the floor, and +the hands quietly adjusted before one, either holding +the hat and stick (as when paying a morning visit), +or the dress-hat carried in the evening, or, to give +ease, on occasion, a book, roll of paper, or the like. +Habits of refinement once established, a man feels at +ease—he can trust himself, without watching, to be +<i>natural</i>—and nothing conduces more to grace and +elegance than this quiet consciousness. Let me add, +that true comfort, real enjoyment are no better secured +under any circumstances, by indulging in anything<a name="Page_337" id="Page_337"></a> +that is <i>intrinsically unrefined</i>, and that a certain +<i>habitual self-restraint</i> is the best guarantee of ease, +propriety and elegance, when a man would fain do +entire justice to himself.</p> + +<p>Habits connected with matters of the table, as indeed +with all sensuous enjoyments, should always be +such as not to suggest to others ideas of merely selfish +animal gratification. Among minor characteristics, +few are so indicative of genuine good-breeding +as a man's mode of <i>eating</i>. Upon Poor Richard's +principle, that "nothing is worth doing at all that is +not worth doing well," one may very properly attach +some consequence to the formation of correct habits +in relation to occasions of such very frequent recurrence. +It is well, therefore, to learn to sit uprightly +at table, to keep one's individual "aids and appliances" +compactly arranged; to avoid all noise and +hurry in the use of these conveniences; neither to +mince, nor fuss with one's food; nor yet to swallow +it as a boa-constrictor does his,—rolled over in the +mouth and bolted <i>whole</i>; or worse still, to open the +mouth, to such an extent as to remind observers that +alligators are <i>half mouth</i>. Eating with a knife, or +with the fingers; soiling the lips; using the fork or +the fingers as a tooth-pick; making <i>audible</i> the +process of mastication, or of drinking; taking soup +from the <i>point</i> of a spoon; lolling forward upon the +table, or with the elbows upon the table; soiling the +cloth with what should be kept upon the plate; +putting one's private utensils into dishes of which<a name="Page_338" id="Page_338"></a> +others partake; in short, everything that is odd, or +coarse, should nowhere be indulged in.</p> + +<p>Cut your meat, or whatever requires the use of the +knife, and, leaving that dangerous instrument conveniently +on one side of your plate, eat with your fork, +using a bit of bread to aid, when necessary, in taking +up your food neatly.</p> + +<p>When partaking of anything too nearly approaching +a liquid to be eaten with a fork, as stewed tomato, +or cranberry, <i>sop</i> it with small pieces of bread;—a +<i>spoon</i> is not used while eating meats and their +accompaniments. Never take up large bones in the +fingers, nor bite Indian corn from a mammoth ear. +(In the latter case, a long <i>cob</i> running out of a man's +mouth on either side, is suggestive of the mode in +which the snouts of dressed swine are adorned for +market!) If you prefer not to cut the grain from +the ear, break it into small pieces and cut the rows +lengthwise, before commencing to eat this vegetable.</p> + +<p>When you wish to send your plate for anything, +retain your knife and fork, and either keep them +together in your hand, or rest them upon your +bread, so as not to soil the cloth.</p> + +<p>Should you have occasion for a tooth-pick, hold +your napkin, or your hand, before your mouth while +applying it, and on no account resort to the <i>perceptible</i> +assistance of the tongue in freeing the mouth +or teeth from food.</p> + +<p>Have sufficient self-control, when so unfortunate<a name="Page_339" id="Page_339"></a> +as to be disgusted with anything in your food, to +refrain from every outward manifestation of annoyance, +and if possible, to conceal from others all +participation in your discovery.</p> + +<p>Accustom yourself to addressing servants while at +table, in a low, but intelligible tone, and to a good-natured +endurance of their blunders.</p> + +<p>Avoid the appearance of self-engrossment, or of +abstraction while eating, and, for the sake of health +of mind and body, acquire the practice of a cheerful +interchange of both civilities and ideas with those +who may be, even temporarily, your associates.</p> + +<p>It is now becoming usual among fashionable +people in this country to adopt the French mode of +conducting ceremonious dinners, that of placing such +portions of the dessert as will admit of it, upon the +table, together with plateaux of flowers, and other +ornaments, and having the previous courses served +and carved upon side-tables, and offered to each +guest by the attendants. But it will be long before +this custom obtains generally, as a daily usage, even +among the wealthier classes. It will, so far continue +rather an exception than a rule, that the <i>art of +carving</i> should be regarded as well worth acquiring, +both as a matter of personal convenience, and as +affording the means of obliging others. Like every +other habit connected with matters of the table, +exquisite <i>neatness</i> and discrimination should characterize +the display of this gentlemanly accomplishment. +Aim at dexterous and rapid manipulation, +and shun the semblance of hurry, labor, or <a name="tn_png_339"></a><!--TN: Period added after "fatigue"-->fatigue.<a name="Page_340" id="Page_340"></a> +Familiarity with the <i>anatomy</i> of poultry and game, +will greatly facilitate ease and grace in carving.</p> + +<p>Always help ladies with a remembrance of the +moderation and fastidiousness of their appetites. If +possible, give them the choice of selection in the +cuts of meats, especially of birds and poultry.</p> + +<p>Never pour gravy upon a plate, without permission. +A little of the filling of fowls may be put +with portions of them, because that is easily laid +aside, without spoiling the meat, as gravy does, for +many persons.</p> + +<p>All meats served in mass, should be carved in +<i>thin slices</i>, and each laid upon one side of the plate, +carefully avoiding soiling the edge, or offending the +delicacy of ladies, in particular, by too-ensanguined +juices.</p> + +<p>Different kinds of food should never be mixed on +the plate. Keep each portion of the accompaniments +of your meats neatly separated, and, where +you <i>pay for decency and comfort</i>, take it as a +matter of course that your plate, knife, and fork are +to be changed as often as you partake of a different +dish of meat.</p> + +<p><i>Fish</i> is eaten with bread and condiments only; +and the various kinds of meat with vegetables +appropriate to each. <i>Game</i>, when properly cooked +and served, requires only a bit of bread with it.</p> + +<p>By those who best understand the art of eating, +<i>butter</i> is never taken with meats or vegetables. The +latter, in their simple state, as potatoes, should be +eaten with salt; most of them need no condiment, in<a name="Page_341" id="Page_341"></a> +addition to those with which they are dressed before +coming to table. Salads, of course, are prepared +according to individual taste; but the well-instructed +take butter at dinner only after, or as a substitute for, +the course of pastry, etc. with bread, if at all. The +English make a regular course of bread, cheese, and +butter, preceding the dessert proper—nuts, fruit, +etc.; but they never eat both butter and cheese at +the same time.</p> + +<p>Skins of baked potatoes, rinds of fruit, etc., etc., +should never be put upon the cloth; but <i>bread</i>, both +at dinner and breakfast, is placed on the table, at the +left side of the plate, except it be the small bit used +to facilitate the use of the fork.</p> + +<p>Never drum upon the table between the courses, +fidget in your chair, or with your dress, or in any +manner indicate impatience of due order and deliberation, +or indifference to the conversation of those +about you. A <i>gentleman</i> will take time to dine +decorously and comfortably. Those whose subserviency +to <i>anything, or any one</i>, prevents this, are +not <i>freemen</i>!</p> + +<p>Holding, as I do, that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"<i>To enjoy is to obey,</i>"</p> + +<p class="continue">let me call your attention, in this connection, to the +truth that the pleasures of the table consist not so +much in the <i>quantity</i> eaten as in the <i>mode of eating</i>. +A moderate amount of simple food, thoroughly and +deliberately masticated, and partaken of with the +agreeable accessories of quiet, neatness and social<a name="Page_342" id="Page_342"></a> +communion, will not only be more beneficial to +the physical man, but afford more positive enjoyment, +than a larger number of dishes, when hurriedly +eaten in greater quantities.</p> + +<p>I have frequently remarked among our young +countrymen a peculiarity which a moment's reflection +will convince you is exceedingly injurious to +health—that of swallowing an enormous amount of +fluid at every meal. Reflect that the human +stomach is scarcely so large as one of the goblets +which is repeatedly emptied at dinner, by most +men, and that all liquids taken into that much-abused +organ, must be absorbed before the assimilation +of solid food commences, and you will see, at +once, what a violation of the natural laws this +practice involves. Here, again, is one of the evil +effects of the fast-eating of fast Americans. Hurrying +almost to feverishness, at table, and only half +masticating their food, the assistance of <i>ice-water</i> is +invoked to facilitate the process of swallowing, and +to allay the more distressing symptoms produced by +haste and fatigue!</p> + +<p>Before we leave these little matters, let us return +for an instant, to that of the <i>position</i> assumed while +<i>sitting</i>. The "<i>Yankee</i>" peculiarity, so often ridiculed +by foreigners, of tipping the chair back upon +the two hind feet, is not yet obsolete, even in our +"best society." Occasionally some uninstructed +rustic finds his way into a fashionable drawing-room, +where "modern antique furniture," as the manufacturers +call it in their advertisements, elicits all the<a name="Page_343" id="Page_343"></a> +proverbial ingenuity of his native land, to enable +him to indulge in his favorite attitude. "I thought +I saw the ghost of my chair!" said a fair friend to +me, as soon as a visitor had left us together, one +morning, not long since. "I was really distressed +by his efforts to tilt it back—these fashionable chairs +are so frail, and he would have been intensely +mortified had he broken it! Have you seen the +last 'Harper,' Colonel?"</p> + +<p>Do not permit yourself, through an indifference to +trifles, to fall into any unrefined habits in the use of +the handkerchief, etc., etc. Boring the ears with +the fingers, chafing the limbs, sneezing with unnecessary +sonorousness, and even a too fond and ceaseless +caressing of the moustache, are in bad taste. +Everything connected with <i>personal</i> discomfort, +with the mere physique, should be as unobtrusively +attended to as possible.</p> + +<p>When associated with women of cultivation and +refinement—and you should addict yourself to no +other female society—you cannot attend too carefully +to the niceties of personal habit. Sensitive, +fastidious, and very observant of <i>minutiæ</i>—indeed +often judging of character by <i>details</i>—you will +inevitably lose ground with these discriminating +observers, if neglectful of the trifles that go far +towards constituting the <i>amenities of social life</i>. +An elegant modern writer is authority for the fact +that the Gauls attributed to woman, "an additional +sense—the <i>divine sense</i>." Perhaps the Creator may +have bestowed this gift upon the defenseless sex, as<a name="Page_344" id="Page_344"></a> +a counterpoise to the superior strength and power of +man, even as he has given to the more helpless of +the lower creatures swiftness of motion, instead of +capacity for resistance. But be that as it may, no +man should permit himself any habit that will not +bear the scrutiny of this <i>divine sense</i>—much less, +one that will outrage all its fine perceptions.</p> + +<p>Apropos of <i>details</i>—I will take leave to warn +you against the <i>swaggering manner</i> that some young +men, whose bearing is otherwise unexceptionable, +fall into among strangers, apparently with the +mistaken idea that they will thus best sustain their +claims to an unequivocal position in society. So in +the sitting-rooms at hotels, in the pump-rooms at +watering-places, on the decks of steamers, etc., +persons whose juvenility entitles them to be classed +with those who have nursery authority for being +"seen and not heard," are frequently the most +conspicuous and noisy. Shallow, indeed, must be +the discernment of observers who conceive a favorable +impression of a young man from such an +exhibition!</p> + +<p>In company, do not stand, or walk about while +others sit, nor sit while others stand—especially +ladies. Acquire a light step, particularly for in-door +use, and a <i>quiet</i> mode of conducting yourself, +generally. Ladies and invalids will not then dread +your presence as dangerous—like that of a rampant +war-horse, ill-taught to</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Caper nimbly in a lady's chamber!"</p> + +<a name="Page_345" id="Page_345"></a> + +<p>If you are fond of playing at chess and other +games, it will be worth your while to observe yourself +until you have fixed habits of entire politeness, +under such circumstances. All unnecessary movements, +every manifestation of impatience or petulance, +and all exultation when successful, should be +repressed. Thus, while seeking amusement, you may +acquire self-control.</p> + +<p>Begin early to remember that health and good +spirits are easily impaired, and that <i>habit</i> will materially +assist us in the patient endurance of suffering +we should manifest for the sake of those about us—attendants, +friends, "the bosom-friend dearer than +all," whom no philosophy can teach insensibility to +the semblance of unkindness from one enthroned in +her affections.</p> + +<p>Don't fall into the habit, because you are a branch +of the <i>Lunettes</i> family, of using glasses prematurely. +<i>Students</i> are much in error here. Every young +divinity-student, especially, seems emulous of this +troublesome appendage. Depend on it, this is all +wrong, either absurd affectation, or ignorance equally +unfortunate.</p> + +<p>Ladies, it is said, are the <i>readers</i> of America, but +who ever sees the dear creatures donning spectacles +in youth? Enter a female college and look for the +glasses that, were the youthful devotees of learning +there assembled of the other sex, would deform half +the faces you observe. Much better were it to inform +yourselves of the laws of optics, and use the organs +now so generally abused by the young, judiciously,<a name="Page_346" id="Page_346"></a> +resting them, when giving indications of being +overtaxed, rather than endeavoring to supply artificial +aid to their natural strength. Students, especially, +should always read and write with the <i>back to the +light</i>, so seated that the light falls not upon the +eyes, but upon the book or paper before them. +That reminds me, too, how important it is that one +should not <i>stoop forward</i> more constantly than is +necessary, while engaged in sedentary pursuits, but +lean back rather than forward, as much as possible, +throwing out the chest at the same time. Many +books admit of being raised in the hand, in aid of +this practice, and the habit of rising occasionally, +and expanding the chest, and straightening the limbs +will be found to relieve the weariness of the sedentary.</p> + +<p>But nothing so effectually prevents injury to +health, from studious habits, as <i>early rising</i>. This +gives time for the out-door exercise that is so requisite +as well as for the use of the eyes by <i>daylight</i>. +There is a great deal of nonsense mixed up with our +literature, which seizes the fancy of the young, +because embodied in poetry, or clothed with the +charm of fiction. Of this nature is what we read +about, "trimming the midnight lamp," to search for +the Pierean spring. Obey the</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Breezy call of incense-breathing morn,"</p> + +<p class="continue">and she will environ you with a joyous band of +blooming Hours, and guide you gaily and lightly<a name="Page_347" id="Page_347"></a> +towards sparkling waters, whose properties are Knowledge +and Health!</p> + +<p>But if you would habitually rise early, you must +not permit every trivial temptation to prevent your +also <i>retiring early</i>. The laws of fashionable life are +sorely at variance with those of Health, on this +point, as well as upon many others; but, happily, +they are not <i>absolute</i>, and those who have useful purposes +to accomplish each day, must withstand the +tyranny of this arbitrary despot. Time for the toilet, +for exercise, for intellectual culture and mental +relaxation, is thus best secured. By using the earlier +hours of each day for our most imperative occupations, +we are far less at the mercy of contingent circumstances +than we can become by any other system +of life. "Solitude," says Gibbon, "is the school of +Genius," and the advantages of this tuition are most +certainly secured before the idlers of existence are +abroad!</p> + +<p>Avoid the habit of regarding yourself as an invalid, +and of taking nostrums. A knowledge and observance +of the rules of <i>Dietetics</i> are often better than +the concentered wisdom of a Dispensary, abstinence +more effective than medical applications, and the +recuperative power of Nature, when left to work out +her own restoration, frequently superior to the most +skillful aid of learned research. But when compelled +to avail yourself of medical assistance, seek that +which <i>science</i> and <i>integrity</i> render safest. No sensible +man, one would think, will intrust the best boon of +earth to the merciless experiments of unprincipled and<a name="Page_348" id="Page_348"></a> +ignorant charlatans, or credulously swallow quack +medicines recommended by old women: and yet, +while people employ the most accomplished hatter, +tailor, and boot-maker, whose services they can +secure, they will give up the <i>inner</i> man to the influence +of such impositions upon the credulity of +humanity!</p> + +<p>Assuming, as an accepted truth, that it is your +purpose, through life, to admit the rights of our fair +tyrants</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"In court or cottage, wheresoe'er their home,"</p> + +<p class="continue">I will commend to you the early acquisition of habits +appropriate to our relations to women as their <i>protectors</i>. +In dancing, riding, driving, walking, boating, +travelling, etc., etc.,—wherever the sexes are +brought together in this regard (and where are they +not, indeed, when commingled at all?)—observe the +gentle courtesies, exhibit the watchful care, that go +far towards constituting the settled charms of such +intercourse. It is not to be forgotten, as I think I +have before remarked, that women judge of character, +often, from trifling details; thus, any well-bred +woman will be able to tell you which of her acquaintances +habitually removes his hat, or throws aside his +cigar, when addressing her, and who, of all others, is +most watchful for her comfort, when she is abroad +under his escort. Be sure, too, that this same fair +one could confess, if she would make a revelation on +the subject, exactly what men she shuns because +they break her fans, disarrange her bouquets, tear her<a name="Page_349" id="Page_349"></a> +flounces, touch her paintings and prints with moist +fingers (instead of merely <i>pointing</i> to some part) +handle delicate <i>bijouterie</i> with dark gloves, dance +with uncovered hands, etc., etc. But even if you +are her <i>confidant</i>, she will not tell you how often her +quick sensibility is wounded by fancying herself the +subject of the <i>smirks</i>, <i>whispers</i>, and <i>knowing glances</i> +in which some men indulge when grouped with their +kindred bipeds, in society!</p> + +<p>At the risk of subjecting myself to the charge of +repetition, I will endeavor, before concluding this +letter, to enumerate such Habits as, in addition to +those of which I have already spoken, I deem most +entitled to the attention of those who are establishing +a system of life.</p> + +<p><i>Habits of reading and studying</i> once thoroughly +formed, are invaluable, not only as affording a ready +resource against <i>ennui</i>, or idleness, everywhere and +under all circumstances, but as necessarily involving +the acquisition of knowledge, even when of the most +desultory character. It is wonderful how much general +information may be gleaned by this practice of +reading <i>something</i> whenever one has a few spare +grains of the "<i>gold-dust of Time</i>,"—minutes. I +once found a remarkably well-informed woman of +my acquaintance waiting to make breakfast for her +husband and me, with a little old <i>dictionary</i> open in +her hand. "For what word are you looking, so +early?" I inquired, as I discovered the character of +the volume she held. "For no one in particular," +returned she, "but one can always add to one's<a name="Page_350" id="Page_350"></a> +stores from any book, were it only in the matter of +<i>spelling</i>." But the true way, of course, to derive +most advantage from this enjoyment is to <i>systematize</i> +in relation to it, reading well-selected books with +care and attention sufficient to enable us permanently +to add the information they contain to our +previous mental possessions.</p> + +<p>You will only need to be reminded how much ease +and elegance in <i>Reading aloud</i> depend upon <i>habit</i>.</p> + +<p>Without the <i>Habit of Industry</i>, good resolutions, +the most sincere desire for self-improvement, and the +most desirable natural gifts, will be of comparatively +little avail for the practical purposes of existence. +This unpretending attribute, together with <i>System</i> +and <i>Regularity</i>, has achieved more for the good of +the race, than all the erratic efforts of genius combinedly.</p> + +<p>"Don't run about," says a sensible writer, "and +tell your acquaintances you have been unfortunate; +people do not like to have unfortunate men for +acquaintances. Add to a vigorous determination, a +cheerful spirit; if reverses come, bear them like a +philosopher, and get rid of them as soon as you can." +<i>Cheerfulness</i> and <i>Contentment</i>, like every other +mental quality, may be cultivated until they materially +assist us in enduring</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,"</p> +<p class="continue">and early attention to the attainment of these mental +habits is a matter of both personal and relative duty.</p> + +<p>Cherish <i>self-respect</i> as, next to a firm religious<a name="Page_351" id="Page_351"></a> +faith, the best safeguard to respectability and peace +of mind. Entirely consistent with—indeed, in a +degree, productive of the most careful consideration +of the rights of others, the legitimate development of +this quality will tend to preserve you from unwise confidences, +from injudicious intimacies, and from gross +indulgences and unworthy pursuits. This will +sustain you in the manly acknowledgment of <i>poverty</i>, +if that shall chance to be your lot, when pride and +principle contend for the mastery in practical +matters, and enable you to realize fully, that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"To bear, is to conquer our fate!"</p> + +<p class="continue">This will strengthen you to the endurance of that +which nothing but absolute insignificance can escape—<i>calumny</i>. +It will preserve you alike from an +undue eagerness in defending yourself from unjust +aspersion, and from a servile fear of "the world's +dread laugh," from meriting and from resenting +scandal, and convince you that its most effectual +contradiction consists in a <i>virtuous life</i>. By listening +to the dictates of this powerful <i>coadjutor of +conscience</i>, you will believe with the poet, that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Honor and Fame from no <i>condition</i> rise,"</p> + +<p class="continue">and thus, with straightforward and unvarying purpose, +illustrate your adoption of the motto,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"<i>Act well your part</i>, there all the honor lies!"</p> + +<p>While I would earnestly counsel you to avoid that +constant <i>self-consciousness</i> which is nearly allied to<a name="Page_352" id="Page_352"></a> +vanity and egotism, if not identical with them, you +will find the habitual practice of <i>self-examination</i> +greatly conducive to improvement. A calm, impartial +analysis of words and actions, tracing each +to their several motives, must tend to assist us to +<i>know ourselves</i>, which an ancient philosopher, you +may remember, pronounced the highest human +attainment. Arraign yourself, without the advantage +of <i>special pleading</i>, to borrow a legal phrase, at +the bar of conscience, regarding this arbiter as the +voice of Divinity enshrined within us, whenever +assailed by doubts respecting any course of conduct +you have adopted, or propose to adopt, and where +you are thus taught to draw the line of demarcation +between right and wrong,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Let that aye be your border."</p> + +<p>In this connection permit me to recommend the +regular study of the <i>Bible</i>, and a systematic attendance +upon public worship on the Sabbath. Do not +read this most wonderful of books as <i>a task</i>, nor yet +permit the trammels of early associations, hereditary +prejudice, or blind superstition, to interfere with +your search for the truths contained in its pages. +Try to read the Scriptures as you would any other +book, with the aid of such collateral information as +you may be able to obtain respecting the origin of +the several, and wholly, distinct productions of which +it is composed, the authors of each, the purposes for +which they were composed, and, in short, possess +yourself of every available means of giving reality,<a name="Page_353" id="Page_353"></a> +simplicity, and truthfulness to your investigations. +Study the <i>Life of Christ</i>, as written by the personal +friends who were most constantly and intimately +associated with him. Ponder upon his familiar +sayings, remembered, and recorded in their simple +memoranda, by the unlettered men who most frequently +listened to them, compare the acts of Christ +with his doctrines as a teacher, and judge for yourselves +whether history, ancient or modern, has any +parallel for the <i>Perfection of the Model</i> thus exhibited +to the human race. Decide whether he was not +the only earthly being who "never did an injury, +never resented one done to him, never uttered an +untruth, never practised a deception, and never lost +an opportunity of doing good." Having determined +this point in your own minds, adopt this glorious +pattern for imitation, and adhere to it, until you find +a truer and better model. We have nothing to do +in judging of this matter with the imperfect illustrations +afforded by the lives of professed imitators of +Christ of the perfectibility to which his teachings tend. +Why look to indifferent copies, when the great original +is ever before us! Why seek in the frailty and +fallibility of human nature a justification of personal +distrust and indifference?</p> + +<p>No <i>gentleman</i>—to come to practicalities again—will +indulge in ridiculing what intelligent, enlightened +persons receive as truth, on any point, much less +upon this. Nor will a well-bred man permit himself +the habit of being <i>late at church</i>—were it only that +those who stand in a <i>servile relation to others</i>, are<a name="Page_354" id="Page_354"></a> +often deprived of time for suitable preliminaries +of the toilet, etc., he will carefully avoid this vulgarity.</p> + +<p>The tendency to <i>materialism</i>, so strongly characterizing +the age in which we live, produces, among +its pernicious collateral effects, a disposition to +reduce "Heaven's last, best gift to man" to the same +practical standard by which we judge of all matters +of the outer life,—of <i>each other</i> especially. Well +might Burke deplore the departure of the Age of +Chivalry! But not even the prophetic eye of +genius could discern the degeneracy that was to +increase so rapidly, from the day in which he wrote, +to this. As a mere matter of personal gratification, +I would cherish the inclination to <i>idealize</i> in regard +to the fairer part of creation! There is enough that is +stern, hard, baldly utilitarian, in life; we have +no need to rob this "one fair spirit" of every poetic +attribute, by system! Few habits have so much the +effect to elevate us above the clods we tread ploddingly +over in the dreary highway of mortal existence, +as that of investing woman with the purest, +highest attributes of our common nature, and bearing +ourselves towards her in accordance with these +elevated sentiments. And when compelled, in individual +instances, to set aside these cherished impressions, +let nothing induce us to forget that <i>passive, +silent forbearance</i> is our only resource. True manhood +can never become the active antagonist of +<i>defencelessness</i>.</p> + +<p>I am almost ashamed to remind you of the gross<a name="Page_355" id="Page_355"></a> +impropriety of speaking loosely and loudly of ladies +of your acquaintance in the hearing of strangers, of +desecrating their names by mouthing them in bar-rooms +and similar public places, scribbling them +upon windows, recording them, without their permission, +in the registers kept at places visited from +curiosity, etc., etc. <i>You have no moral right to +take such liberties in this respect, as you would not +tolerate in the relation of brother, son, or husband.</i></p> + +<p><i>Think</i>, then, and <i>speak</i>, ever, with due reverence +of those guardian angels,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Into whose hands from first to last,<br></span> +<span class="i0">This world with all its destinies,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Devotedly by Heaven seems cast!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>If you determine to conform yourselves, as far as +in you lies, to the model presented for your imitation +by Him who said—"Be ye, therefore, perfect, +even as I am perfect," you will not disregard the +cultivation of a <i>ready sympathy</i> with the sufferings +and trials of your fellow beings. In place of adopting +a system that will not only steel your heart, but +infuse into your whole nature distrust and suspicion, +you will, like Him who went about doing good, +quickly discern suffering, in whatever form it presents +itself, and minister, at least, the balm of a kind +word, when naught else may be offered. You will +thus learn not only to pity the erring, but, perchance, +sometimes to ask yourselves in profound +humility—"<i>who hath made me to differ</i>?"</p> + +<p>Young men sometimes fall into the impression<a name="Page_356" id="Page_356"></a> +that a mocking insensibility to human woe is manly—something +grand and distinguished. So they turn +with lofty scorn from a starving child, make the +embarrassment and distress of a poor mother with +a wailing infant the subject of audible mirth in a +rail-car, or stage-coach, ridicule the peevishness +of illness, the tears of wounded sensibility, or the +confessions of the penitent! Now, it seems to me, +that all this is super-human in its sublime elevation! +My small knowledge of the history of the greatly good, +affords no parallels for the adoption of such a creed. +I have read of a Howard who terminated a life +devoted to the benefit of his race, in a noisome dungeon, +where he sought to minister to human suffering; +of a Fenelon, and a Cheverus whose <i>Catholic</i> +spirit broke the thralling restrains of sectarianism, +in favor of general humanity; of the graceful +chivalry and large benevolence of Sir Walter Raleigh +and Sir Philip Sidney; of triumphant soldiers +who bound up the wounds and preserved the lives +of a fallen foe; of a Wilberforce, a Pease, and a +Father Mathew; of Leigh Richmond, Reginald +Heber, and Robert Hall; of the parable of the good +Samaritan, and of its Divine Author—and I believe +the mass of mankind agree with me in, at least, an +abstract admiration for the characters of each! And +though no great achievements in the cause of Philanthropy +may be in our power, though no mighty +deeds may embalm our memories amid the imperishable +records of Time, let us not overlook those small +acts of kindness, those trifling proofs of sympathy,<a name="Page_357" id="Page_357"></a> +which all have at command. A look, a word, a +smile—what talismanic power do even these sometimes +possess! Remember, then, that,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i8">"——Heaven decrees<br></span> +<span class="i0">To all the <i>gift of ministering to ease</i>!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>In close association with the wish to minister to +the happiness of others, as far as in us lies, is that of +avoiding every self-indulgence that may interfere +with the comfort or the rights of others. Hence the +cultivation of <i>good-humor</i>, and of habits of <i>neatness</i>, +<i>order</i>, and <i>regularity</i>. Prompted by this rule, we +will not <i>smoke</i> in the streets, in rail-cars, on the +decks of steamers, at the entrance of concert and +lecture rooms, or in parlors frequented by ladies. +We will not even forget that neglect of <i>matters of +the toilet</i>, in the nicest details, may render us unpleasant +companions for those accustomed to fastidiousness +upon these points.</p> + +<p>To the importance of well-regulated habits of +Exercise, Temperance, and Relaxation, I have +already called your attention in a previous Letter.</p> + +<p>Nothing tends more effectually to the production +of genuine independence, than personal <i>Economy</i>. +No habit will more fully enable you to be generous +as well as just, and to gratify your better impulses +and more refined tastes, than the exercise of this unostentatious +art.</p> + +<p>Remember that <i>meanness</i> is not economy, any +more than it is integrity.<a name="Page_358" id="Page_358"></a></p> + +<p>To be wisely economical requires the exercise of +the reflective faculties united with practical experience, +self-denial, and moral dignity. Rightly +viewed, there is nothing in it degrading to the +noblest nature.</p> + +<p><i>Punctuality</i> both in pleasure and in business +engagements, is alike due to others, and essential to +personal convenience. You will, perhaps, have +observed that this was one of the distinguishing traits +of Washington.</p> + +<p>Somebody says—"Ceremony is the Paradise of +Fools." The same may be said with equal truth, of +<i>system</i>. To be truly <i>free</i>, one should not be the +slave of any one rule, nor of many combined. +<i>System</i>, like other agencies, if judiciously regulated, +materially aids the establishment of good habits +generally, and thus places us beyond the dominion +of</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"<i>Circumstance, that unspiritual god.</i>"</p> + + +<p>Sir Joshua Reynolds used to remark that "Nothing +is denied to well-directed effort." Let <i>Perseverance</i> +then, be united with <i>Excelsior</i> in your practical +creed.</p> + +<p>I think I have made some allusion to the <i>Art of +Conversation</i>. Let me "make assurance doubly +sure," by the emphatic recommendation of <i>practice</i> +in this elegant accomplishment. All mental acquisitions +are the better secured by the habit of <i>putting +ideas into words</i>. By this process, thought becomes +clearer, more <i>tangible</i>, so to speak, and new ideas<a name="Page_359" id="Page_359"></a> +are actually engendered, while we are giving expression +to those previously in our possession.</p> + +<p>In addition to the individual advantage accruing +from this excellent mode of training yourselves for +easy and effective <i>extemporaneous public speaking</i>, +it should not be overlooked, as affording the means +of conferring both pleasure and benefit upon others. +Taciturnity and self-engrossment, you may remark, +are not the prominent characteristics of the favorites +of society.</p> + +<p>Nor does the practice of ready speaking necessarily +interfere with habits of <i>Reflection</i> and <i>Observation</i>. +On the contrary, the mental activity thus +promoted, naturally leads to the accumulation of +intellectual material by every available means. +Discrimination in judging of character, and true +<i>knowledge of the world</i>, without which all abstract +knowledge is comparatively of little avail, can never +be attained except through the persevering exercise +of these powers.</p> + +<p>Shall I venture to remind you, my dear young +friends, that the manifestation of <i>respect for misfortune, +suffering, and age</i>, may become one of your +attributes by the force of habit strengthening good +impulses.</p> + +<p>Will you think me deficient in utilitarianism if I +recommend to you a cultivation of the <i>power to +discern the Beautiful</i>, as a perpetual source of pure +and exalted enjoyment? Hard, grinding, soul-trammelling, +is the dominion of real life; will we be less +worthy of our immortal destinies, that we cherish an<a name="Page_360" id="Page_360"></a> +<i>inner sense</i>, by which we readily perceive moral +beauty, shining as a ray from the very altar of Divinity, +or the tokens of the presence of that Divinity +afforded by the wonders of the natural world? Let +us not be mere beasts of burden, so laden with the +cares, the anxieties, or even the duties of life, as to +have no eye for the unobtrusive, but often fragrant +and lovely flowers, that bloom along the most +neglected of our daily paths.</p> + +<p>Speaking of the Beautiful, reminds me that ours +is the only civilized land where the æsthetical perceptions +of the people are not a sufficient safeguard to +the preservation of <i>Works of Art</i>, in their humblest +as well as most magnificent exhibitions. Nothing +short of the brutalizing influence of a Reign of +Terror will tempt a Parisian populace to the desecration +of these expressions of refinement, taste, and +beauty; while among us, not even an ornamental +paling, inclosing a private residence, or the colonnade +of a public edifice, escapes staring tokens of +the presence of this gothic barbarism in our midst.</p> + +<p>You will scarcely need to be cautioned against +confounding mere <i>curiosity</i> with a liberal and enlightened +observation of life and manners. All those +indications of undue curiosity respecting the private +affairs of others, expressed by listening to conversation +not intended for the general ear, watching the +<i>asides</i> of society, glancing at letters addressed to +another, or asking direct questions of a personal +nature, are unmistakable proofs of ignorance of the +rules of polished life, though they are not as repre<a name="Page_361" id="Page_361"></a>hensible +as <i>evil-speaking</i>, a love of <i>scandal</i>, or the +practice of violating either the <i>confidence</i> of friends +or the <i>sacredness of private conversation</i>.</p> + +<p>Though a vast difference is created in this respect +by difference of temperament, yet no man can hope +to acquire the degree of <i>self-possession</i> that shall fit +him for a successful encounter with the ever-varying +emergencies demanding its illustration, without repeated +and re-repeated struggles and discomfitures. +But so invaluable is the treasure, so essential to the +legitimate exercise of every faculty of our being, +that defeat should only render more indomitable the +"will to do, the soul to dare," in persevering endeavors +to secure its permanent acquisition.</p> + +<p>Let me impress upon you the truth that self-possession +is the legitimate result of a <i>well-disciplined +mind</i>, <a name="tn_png_361"></a><!--TN: "and-that" changed to "and that"-->and that it is properly expressed by a <i>quiet</i> +and <i>modest bearing</i>.</p> + +<p>In conclusion, let me earnestly and affectionately +assure you that the formation of right habits, though +necessarily attended, for a time, by failures, difficulties, +or discouragements, will eventually prove its +own all-sufficient reward. Habitude of thought, language, +appointment, and manner that shall entitle +you to claim</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The good old name of <i>Gentleman</i>,"</p> + +<p class="continue">once yours, and you will be armed, point of proof, +against the exacting capriciousness of fashion, and +forever exempted from the tortures often inflicted<a name="Page_362" id="Page_362"></a> +upon the sensitive, by the insidious invasions of self-distrust!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Strolling through the Crystal Palace at London, +soon after it was opened, with a young fellow-countryman, +he suddenly broke out with—"Will you just +look at that fellow, colonel?" Turning and following +the direction indicated by his eye (not his finger +or walking-stick, he was too well-bred <i>to point</i>!) I +discerned, in a different part of the building, Queen +Victoria, accompanied by Prince Albert and two of +the royal children, examining some articles in the +American Department. Very near the stopping-place +of this distinguished party, a representative of +the "universal Yankee nation," had stationed himself—perhaps +in a semi-official capacity—upon the +apex of some elevation, with his hat on, and his long +legs dangling down in front, nearly on a level with +the heads of passers-by.</p> + +<p>We could not hear the words of her Majesty, but +it was apparent that she addressed some inquiry to +him of the legs. First ejecting a torrent of tobacco-juice +from his mouth, and rolling away the huge +quid that obstructed his utterance, he deliberately +proceeded to give the explanation desired, retaining +not only his position, but his hat, the while!</p> + +<p>Meantime, as soon as the Queen commenced +addressing this person, her Royal Consort removed +his hat, and remained uncovered until she again +moved on. I shall not soon forget the face of my<a name="Page_363" id="Page_363"></a> +companion. Shame and indignation contended for +the mastery on his burning cheek!</p> + +<p>"Good G——, Colonel!" he exclaimed, "to think +of such a mere brute as that being regarded as a fair +specimen of the advance of civilization among us! +'Tis enough to make a decent man disclaim his birthright +here! And yet, I have little enough to boast of +myself! Only think of my taking some English +gentlemen who were in New-York a month or two +ago, to see our <i>parks</i> (heaven save the mark!) among +other objects of interest in the city! Yesterday, Sir +John ——, who was one of the party, drove about +London with me, and took me also to Kensington +Garden, St. James' and Regent's Parks! I don't +know what would tempt me again to undergo the +thing! I rather think I am effectually cured, henceforth +and for ever, of any inclination to <i>boast of anything +whatever, personal or national</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"As you are the only 'gentleman of elegant +leisure' in the family, at present, Harry, suppose +you take these girls to New York for a week or +two. For my part, it's as much as I can do to +provide money for the expedition," said your uncle +William to me, one evening.</p> + +<p>"Oh, do, dear uncle Hal!" exclaimed Ida, with +great vivacity, sitting down on a low stool at my +feet, and clasping her hands upon my knee, "we +always love dearly to go with you anywhere, you +are so good to us."<a name="Page_364" id="Page_364"></a></p> + +<p>"Yes!" broke in William junior, "uncle Harry +spoils you so completely by indulgence that I can do +nothing with you. You're a most unruly set, at +home and abroad."</p> + +<p>A sudden twitch at the end of his cravat effectually +demolished the elegant tie upon which the +young gentleman prides himself, as little Julé, who +was close beside him, pretending to get her French +lesson, and had perpetrated the mischief, cried out—"What's +the reason, then, that you always take us +all along, when you go out in the woods, and off to +the shore—hey, Mr. Willie?"</p> + +<p>"Do be quiet, children," interrupted Ida, reprovingly; +"now, uncle dear, won't you take us? I +want some new traps badly."</p> + +<p>"What kind of traps?—mouse traps?"</p> + +<p>"<i>Man traps</i>, to be sure!"</p> + +<p>"Well, that's honest, at least, Puss."</p> + +<p>"My purposes are more murderous than Ida's," +said Cornelia, laughing; "I <a name="tn_png_364"></a><!--TN: "wan't" changed to "want"-->want to buy a new +<i>mankiller</i>, as Willie calls them."</p> + +<p>"It's too late in the season for mantillas," remarked +Ida, profoundly.</p> + +<p>"A fashionable cloak will serve Cornelia's purpose +equally well," returned her father, quietly.</p> + +<p>"And, like the mantle of charity, it will hide a +multitude of sins," chimed in her brother.</p> + +<p>"Your running commentaries are highly edifying, +my dear nephew," said I, and at the same moment a +large red rose hit him full on the nose.</p> + +<p>It was soon arranged that your fair cousins should<a name="Page_365" id="Page_365"></a> +accompany me to the Empire City in a few days, +and I, accordingly, sat down at once, and wrote to +the "Metropolitan" for rooms.</p> + +<p>"What glorious times mother and I will have," +I overheard William exclaim. "I shall take Julé +under my especial protection, and hear her French +lessons regularly."</p> + +<p>"No you won't, either," returned that young lady, +with great spirit; "and I wish you'd stop tying my +curls together, and mind your own affairs. No doubt +you'll make noise enough to kill ma and me, while +Corné and Dade are gone, drumming on the piano, +and spouting your Latin speech before the drawing-room +glass. All I wish is, that uncle Hal wasn't +going away—he never lets you torment me."</p> + +<p>As we were entering the dining-room of our hotel, +on the day of our arrival, our friend Governor S—— +joined us, and, after shaking hands, in his usual cordial +way, with us all, said, as he courteously took +Cornelia's hand and folded it within his arm, "Will +you allow me to attend you, Miss Lunettes? Colonel, +by your leave. Miss Ida, will you let a lonely +old fellow join your party? Where do you sit, +Colonel?"</p> + +<p>"We have but just arrived," I replied, "but our +seats are, of course, reserved; let me secure a seat +for you with us, if possible. Ida, remain here a +moment with Cornelia and Governor S——;" and +presently, finding the proper person, the steward, or +whatever the man of dining-room affairs is called,<a name="Page_366" id="Page_366"></a> +I arranged with him to seat us together, without +interfering with other parties.</p> + +<p>While I was taking my soup, I became suddenly +conscious that something was annoying your cousin +Cornelia, who sat between me and S——. Glancing +at her face, I saw there, in addition to a heightened +color, an expression of mingled constraint and +hauteur, quite inconsistent with her usual graceful +self-possession and animation.</p> + +<p>Making some general remark to her, and showing +no signs of curiosity, I began quietly to cast about +me for the cause of this unwonted disturbance. +Turning my head towards Ida, I overheard her +saying, playfully, though in an undertone, to the +senator, with whom she was already embarked upon +the tide of talk: "He reminds me of an exquisite +couplet in an old valentine of mine:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'Are not my ears as long as other asses', pray?<br></span> +<span class="i0">Don't I surpass all other asses at a bray?'"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">I was not long in detecting the secret cause of +Cornelia's averted face and Ida's sportive quotation.</p> + +<p>"See here, John, get me some col' slaw and +unions, will you—right off," shouted a young man +seated a little below us, on the opposite side of the +table.</p> + +<p>I wish you could have seen the half-repressed +wonder depicted in the countenance of the servant +thus addressed, as he glanced at the piece of<a name="Page_367" id="Page_367"></a> +"<i>Mackerel à la maître d'Hôtel</i>," as the bill of fare +called the <i>fish</i> on his plate.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_367"></a><!--TN: Quote removed before "Oh"-->Oh, for a Hogarth to do justice to the figure +that had arrested my attention! The face was not +bad, perhaps. A merry, dark eye, lit up with the +very spirit of mischief and impudence; a tolerably +high, but narrow forehead; thick, wild-looking +black hair, parted on the top of the head, and +bushy whiskers—add large, handsome teeth, displayed +by full, red, ever-laughing lips, and you have +the physiognomy. But the dress!</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Ye powers of every name and grace,"</p> + +<p class="continue">aid my poor endeavors to describe his toilette! A +high shirt-collar, flaring wide from the throat, by +the pugnacious manifestations of the sturdy whiskers +aforesaid; a flashy neckcloth, tied in very broad +bows, and with the long ends laid off pretty well +towards the tips of the shoulders; a velvet waistcoat, +of large pattern and staring colors, crossed by +a heavy gold chain, from which dangled a gold-mounted +eye-glass, broad ruffles to his shirt, fastened +with huge studs of three opposing, but equally +brilliant colors! A shining Holland-linen dust-coat +completed this unique costume.</p> + +<p>Presently, some one at a distance suddenly attracted +the roving eyes of our hero, and he began the +most significant telegraphing with hands and head, +designed, apparently, to persuade the other to come +and sit by him. Turning, as if by accident, I saw a +young man, near the entrance of the room, shaking<a name="Page_368" id="Page_368"></a> +his head very positively in the negative. But this +was no quietus to our neighbor, who half rose from +his seat.</p> + +<p>"Not room for the gentleman here, sir," said a +major domo, coming up.</p> + +<p>"Yes there is, too, plenty of room! If you would +just move <i>a leetle</i>, ma'am—so," pushing at the chair +of an elderly woman, who seemed suddenly to +grow more slender than ever, and at the same time +hitching his own nearer to that of the person next +him on the other side, "that will do, famously! +Now, waiter, a plate! I hope I don't crowd you, +sir [to the gentleman next him], we don't wear +<i>hoops</i> you know! can keep <i>tight</i> without <a name="tn_png_368"></a><!--TN: Single quote changed to double quote after "them!"-->them!" +The last, in a whisper, like a boatswain's whistle +upon which the respectable female, who illustrated +the mathematical definition of <i>a point</i>, bridled and +reddened with virtuous indignation.</p> + +<p>Luckily the table was not as closely filled as it +often is, and in much less time than it takes me to +describe the scene, the triumph of the youth was +complete, and a well-dressed, gentlemanly-looking +man came forward, seemingly with considerable +reluctance.</p> + +<p>"How are you, Fred, how are you? Right glad +to see you, 'pon my soul—sit down! When'd you +get in? Left all the folks well?"</p> + +<p>There was no avoiding hearing this tide of questions, +poured out in a loud, hilarious tone, that rose +over the subdued murmur of ordinary conversation, +like the notes of a bugle, sounding amid the <a name="tn_png_368a"></a><!--TN: "twitter ing" changed to "twittering"-->twitter<a name="Page_369" id="Page_369"></a>ing +of the feathered tenants of a grove. Apparently +quite unconscious that any one else in his vicinity +possessed powers of hearing and seeing, and wholly +unobservant of the elevated eye-brows of some of +his neighbors, and the significant looks and ill-suppressed +smiles of the servants, the young man ran +on with details of his own private affairs, interrogations +respecting those of his companion, interspersed +with loud and multiplied directions to the attendants. +From my soul I pitied his victim! Deeper and deeper +grew the flush of shame and embarrassment in his +handsome face, more and more laconic and low-voiced +his replies, and more uneasy his restless +movements and glances.</p> + +<p>By and by two huge glasses of foaming strong-beer +made their appearance. Beau Brummel's celebrated +saying—"A gentleman may <i>port</i>; but he +never <i>malts</i>," crossed my mind. With due deference +to this high authority, for my part, I think a glass of +London brown-stout, or Scotch ale, a pleasant accompaniment +to a bit of cold meat and bread, when one +is inclined to sup; but taking beer <i>at dinner</i> is quite +another affair.</p> + +<p>Well! there was a little lull for a time, only to +be followed by a new sensation. One of the quick, +galvanic movements of the nondescript overset a full +bottle of wine, just as it was placed between himself +and his friend, and he was in the act of saying, "If +you don't drink beer, Fred, take some—by thunder +that's too bad!"</p> + +<p>The dark-colored liquor poured over the table-<a name="Page_370" id="Page_370"></a>cloth, +and, dividing into numerous little streamlets, +diverged in every direction from the parent source. +Servants hurried forward with napkins to stay the +progress of the flood, the gentleman next our hero +coolly dammed up the stream that most alarmingly +threatened his safety, with a piece of bread, and the +slender female, whose slight pretentions to breadth +had been so unceremoniously ignored, fidgeted +uneasily under the table, as though apprehensive +that the penetrating powers of the invading foe +might be working in ambush, to the detriment of +her light-hued drapery. But the face of the young +stranger! It was positively mottled! His very +forehead, before smooth and fair, suddenly suggested +the idea that he was just recovering from the smallpox!</p> + +<p>Meantime, our little party were quietly pursuing +the even tenor of their respective dinners. Suddenly +I missed S——.</p> + +<p>"What has become of the Governor?" said I to +Cornelia, in an under-tone.</p> + +<p>"A servant called him away," returned she, in the +same unnoticeable manner. The next moment I +again remarked the same peculiar movement towards +me and the same expression of countenance, +that had arrested my attention when we first sat +down. A woman's quick instinct never deceives +her! Apparently unheeding, I listened.</p> + +<p>"Dev'lish handsome! like her air!—wouldn't object +to taking the seat myself, by George!" caught +my ear.<a name="Page_371" id="Page_371"></a></p> + +<p>I think that young man understood the <i>fixed look</i> +with which I regarded him for the space of about +half a minute! I was quite sure his companion did.</p> + +<p>By this time, the dessert was on the table.</p> + +<p>"Where're you going, Fred? you ain't done?" +shouted the Hoosier, or whatever he was.</p> + +<p>"I have an engagement—I'll see you again," +replied the gentleman thus addressed, springing up, +and eluding the detaining grasp of his persecutor, +quickly made good his escape.</p> + +<p>No sooner were we seated in one of the parlors, +than Ida's pent-up merriment burst forth.</p> + +<p>"Did you hear what that poor young man said, +when the other commenced reading the bill of fare, +uncle," said she, "just before he darted out of the +room?"</p> + +<p>"What, in particular, do you refer to, my dear? +I heard a great deal more than I wished."</p> + +<p>"O, I mean when the <i>speaking-trumpet</i>, as Governor +S—— called him, shouted out—'<i>fricandeau +de veau!</i>—What's he, Fred? Do tell a fellow.' +He was picking his teeth at the time, with a large +goose-quill, with all the feathers on!"</p> + +<p>"Well, what was the answer?"</p> + +<p>"The poor martyr was, by that time, reduced to +the <i>calmness of despair</i>," replied your cousin, laughing; +"he answered, with a meaning air, I thought, +'<i>A calf's head!—one of the entrées!</i>' Corné, I hope +you did not lose the full effect of the great green +and orange-colored peaches sprinkled over the vest +of your admirer. Love at first sight, my dear!<a name="Page_372" id="Page_372"></a> +Never saw a more unmistakable smitation! What a +triumph! Your first conquest since your arrival in +New York, I believe, Miss Lunettes!" lisping affectedly, +and bowing with mock deference.</p> + +<p>"Ida, you'll be overheard! I'm ashamed of you," +returned the stately Cornelia, with an air of offended +propriety.</p> + +<p>"It will never do, Puss," said I; "Corné is right. +But, Corné, what <a name="tn_png_372"></a><!--TN: "to" added after "happened"-->happened to the senator?"</p> + +<p>"How courteous he is!" exclaimed the young +lady, with sudden enthusiasm. "A servant came +and whispered to him—'Miss Lunettes,' said he, +turning to me, 'the only man in the world who could +tempt me from your side—my best friend—asks for +me on important business. Will you permit me to +leave you, after requesting the honor of attending +you?' Of course, I assented. 'Make my apologies +to Miss Ida and Colonel Lunettes,' said he, as we +shook hands, 'I am very unfortunate.'"</p> + +<p>"How quietly he slipped away," said Ida; "I +knew nothing of it, until he was gone."</p> + +<p>"Well-bred people are always quiet," remarked +the elder sister, significantly.</p> + +<p>"Oh, dear me!" retorted Ida, coloring. "Well, +it's too much to expect of any one, not to laugh at +such a nondescript specimen of humanity as that +young man."</p> + +<p>The next morning, before I left my room, a card +was brought to me, inscribed with the name of +"Frederick H. Alloway," and inclosed with the following +note:<a name="Page_373" id="Page_373"></a></p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p>"The son of one of Colonel Lunettes' old friends +begs leave to claim the honor of his acquaintance, +and will do himself the pleasure to pay his respects, +at any hour, this morning, that will be most agreeable +to Colonel Lunettes.</p> + +<div style="font-size:.8em;line-height:50%"> +<p>"<i>Metropolitan Hotel</i>,</p> +<p style="text-indent:4em;">"<i>Wednesday Morn.</i>"</p> +</div> + +</div> + +<p>A half-revived remembrance of a face once familiar, +had haunted me at the dinner table the day +before, whenever I chanced to catch the eye of the +victimized youth I have alluded to. I was, therefore, +not unprepared to find him identical with the +author of this note.</p> + +<p>A certain constraint was evinced by his manner, +when the first complimentary phrases were over. +At length his embarrassment found expression.</p> + +<p>"I am not sure, Colonel Lunettes," said he, "that +I should have ventured to intrude upon you this +morning—much as I desired to make the acquaintance +of a gentlemen of whom I have so frequently +heard my father speak—had I not wished to make +an apology, or at least an explanation"——</p> + +<p>He hesitated, and the mottled color of the day before +mantled over his ingenuous face. I hastened to +say something polite.</p> + +<p>"You are very good, sir—really—scandalously as +that young fellow behaved—he is not without +redeeming qualities. My acquaintance with him is +slight, and entirely accidental. One of our success<a name="Page_374" id="Page_374"></a>ful +Western speculators, and a very good-hearted fellow—but +sadly in need of polish."</p> + +<p>"So I perceived," returned I, gravely, "nor is +that all. One can pardon <i>ignorance</i> much more +readily than <i>impudence</i>."</p> + +<p>"Very true, sir. I only hope that I was not so unfortunate +as to incur your displeasure. I—permit me +to express the hope that the ladies of your party did +not regard me as in the most remote way implicated +in an intention to annoy them," and his voice +actually trembled with manly earnestness.</p> + +<p>"By no means, my dear young friend; by no +means. I assure you, on the contrary, that you +had our sympathy in your distress—comic as it +was."</p> + +<p>The intense ludicrousness of the affair now seemed, +for the first time, to take full possession of the perceptive +faculties of my new acquaintance.</p> + +<p>When our mutual merriment had in some degree +subsided, I invited him to dine with us, unless he +preferred to resume his seat of the day before.</p> + +<p>"Heaven forbid!" exclaimed he, with great +vivacity; "I should have left this house to-day, +if that fellow had not—he is gone, I am rejoiced to +say."</p> + +<p>It was arranged that the "son of my old friend," as +he indeed was, should meet me in the drawing-room +a few moments before dinner, and be presented to +your cousins. So we parted.</p> + +<p>Almost the first person I saw as I was entering the +public drawing-room, to join my nieces, before din<a name="Page_375" id="Page_375"></a>ner, +on that day, was young Alloway. He was evidently +awaiting me, and, upon my recognizing him +by a bow, at once advanced.</p> + +<p>"You are punctual, I see, Mr. Alloway," said I, +as we seated ourselves; "a very good trait, in a +young man!"</p> + +<p>"I fear, sir, there is little merit in being punctual +with such a reward in anticipation," replied he, +laughing pleasantly, and bowing to the ladies, as he +spoke.</p> + +<p>Our new acquaintance, very properly, offered his +arm to the <i>younger</i> sister, and I, of course, preceded +them with the elder, and though, when we were seated +together, he was quite too well-bred to confine either +his attentions or his conversation to Ida, I must say +that I have not often seen two young people become +more readily at ease in each other's society than my +lively favorite, and the "son of my old <a name="tn_png_375"></a><!--TN: Period added after "friend"-->friend." +They seemed to find each other out by intuition, +and talked together in the most animated manner +permitted by their unvarying regard for decorum. +Their nearest neighbors were not disturbed by their +mirthfulness, nor could persons seated opposite them +hear their conversation, and yet Alloway was evidently +fast being remunerated for the chagrin and +embarrassment of his previous dinner.</p> + +<p>"Uncle Hal," said Cornelia, leaning towards me, +as we sat together on a sofa, after leaving the table, +glancing round to be sure that Ida heard her, +"don't you think Minnesota gentlemen, <i>generally</i>, +must be rather susceptible?"<a name="Page_376" id="Page_376"></a></p> + +<p>Her sister, turning</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"The trembling lustre of her dewy eyes"</p> + +<p class="continue">upon the quizzical speaker, was interrupted in the +spirited rejoinder she evidently meditated, by the +return of Alloway, who had been up to his room for +a pencil-sketch of the Falls of Minnehaha (between +St. Paul's and the Falls of St. Anthony, you know) +which he told us he had made on the spot, a few +days before leaving his Western home.</p> + +<p>"How beautiful it must be there!" exclaimed Ida, +delightedly. "And you are taking this to your mother! +It reminds me of a 'Panorama of the Western +Wilds,' I think it was called, to which papa took us +in New York, last spring. I don't know when I saw +anything so lovely! I had no just conception before +of the magnificence and variety of the scenery of the +far-West."</p> + +<p>"Why, my dear," said I quietly, just for my own +amusement, and to watch the effect upon all parties, +"you seem so charmed with these sketches of the +West, that I think I must try and show you the originals +by-and-by. How would you like to go with me +to look after my Western investments next month?"</p> + +<p>"Just like uncle Hal!" I hear more than one of +you crying. "He always plays the mischief among +the young folks!" So, to punish your impertinence, +I shall say nothing in particular, of the sudden light +that shone in the fine eyes of our new friend, nor of +the enthusiasm with which Ida clapped her hands +and bravoed my proposition. Still more, I am by<a name="Page_377" id="Page_377"></a> +no means sure that I shall feel justified in telling you +what came of all this in the future.</p> + +<p>After a while, some other young men came to +speak to the girls, and Alloway, modestly withdrawing, +lingered near me, as if wishing to address me. +A lady was saying something to me at the moment. +When she had finished speaking, I turned to my +young friend.</p> + +<p>"Colonel Lunettes," said he, in the most polite and +respectful manner, "the ladies inform me that they +are to go with you to see some pictures, in the morning. +Will you permit me to attend them?"</p> + +<p>Receiving my assent, he added, "My present +mode of life affords few facilities for the inspection +of works of Art; and I am so mere a tyro, too, that +I shall be happy to have the benefit of your cultivated +taste."</p> + +<p>"I dare say Mr. Alloway could instruct us all," +interposed Ida, "that is, sister and me. Uncle +Lunettes has spent so many years abroad, that he is, +of course, quite <i>au fait</i> in all such things."</p> + +<p>"At what hour do you propose going, ladies?" +inquired Alloway.</p> + +<p>Twelve o'clock was fixed upon.</p> + +<p>"I shall have great pleasure in again meeting +you all at that time," said Alloway, and, as he +shook hands with me, he added, with a significant +smile, "I will endeavor to be quite <i>punctual</i>, +Colonel!"</p> + +<p>"Who is that fine-looking young man, Colonel<a name="Page_378" id="Page_378"></a> +Lunettes?" asked the lady with whom I had been +conversing, as I reseated myself at her side. "His +manners are remarkably easy and graceful for so +young a person. What a contrast he is to young J——, +there, who, with all the advantages of education, +foreign travel, and good society, is, and always will +be, <i>a clown</i>! Just look at him, now, talking to those +girls! Sitting, <i>of course</i>, upon two legs of his chair, +and picking his teeth with a pen-knife!"</p> + +<p>"What would be the consequence," said I, "if +he should lose his balance and fall backward, +with his mouth open in that way, and his knife held +by the tip end of the handle, poised upon his +teeth?"</p> + +<p>"It looks really dangerous, don't it," commented +the same slender female, whose <i>slight</i> manifestations +had interested me, at dinner, the day before—"but I +suppose he is so used to it that"——</p> + +<p>A sudden movement arrested further philosophical +speculation, on the part of this profound observer of +life and manners, and a young lady whose flounces +had been sadly torn by the very chair upon the +occupant of which she was commenting, passed hurriedly +out of the room, with her disordered dress +gathered up in both hands.</p> + +<p>The next morning, some time before the hour +appointed for our visit to the Dusseldorf Gallery, a +servant brought me the following note:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p>"Mr. Alloway regrets extremely that an unexpected, +but imperative, engagement, deprives him<a name="Page_379" id="Page_379"></a> +of the anticipated pleasure of accompanying the +Misses and Colonel Lunettes this morning.</p> + +<p>"Will Colonel Lunettes oblige Mr. Alloway by +making his compliments acceptable to the Misses +Lunettes, together with the most sincere expressions +of his disappointment?</p> + +<div style="font-size:.8em;line-height:50%"> +<p class="smcap">"Metropolitan Hotel,</p> +<p style="text-indent:4em;">"<i>Thursday Morning</i>."</p> +</div> + +</div> + +<p>"I am so sorry!" exclaimed Ida, when informed +of this. "Uncle Hal is always beau enough, but the +more the merrier, you know, dear uncle," added she, +linking her arm in mine, and looking artlessly up +into my face.</p> + +<p>"You are quite right, my dear," said I. "I like +your frankness, and I am sorry to lose Alloway myself."</p> + +<p>As I was going out of the "Ladies' Entrance" with +your cousins, I perceived my young friend supporting +the steps of a pale, emaciated gentleman, who +coughed violently, and walked with difficulty, even +from the carriage to the door, though sustained on +the other side also by an elderly lady. I drew +the girls aside, that they might pass uninterruptedly.</p> + +<p>"I hope you are well this morning, ladies," said +Alloway, raising his hat, as he caught sight of <a name="tn_png_379"></a><!--TN: Comma changed to a period after "us"-->us. +"Good morning, Colonel Lunettes."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Good morning, again, ladies!" said a cheerful, +but subdued voice behind us, as the girls and I were<a name="Page_380" id="Page_380"></a> +seated together, examining the merry "Wine-tasters" +of the Gallery, after having devoted some time to +subjects of a more elevated moral tone.</p> + +<p>We turned our heads simultaneously. "Good +morning, sir," said Alloway, for it was he; "with +your leave, I will join you now."</p> + +<p>Your cousins made room for him between them. +"I am so happy not wholly to lose this," said he, +bowing to each of the ladies. "I feared I could not +meet you here even as early as this."</p> + +<p>"We would have waited for you," interposed Ida; +"why didn't you tell us?"</p> + +<p>"I did not think for a moment of taking such a +liberty," returned the young man. "It would, perhaps, +have interfered with your other engagements. +Indeed, I scarcely hoped to find you here, but could +not deny myself the pleasure of coming in search of +you."</p> + +<p>"Which is your favorite picture here, Miss Lunettes?" +I heard Alloway ask presently.</p> + +<p>"Come and see," returned she, and, rising, she +added, "come, sister—uncle, we will return, do not +disturb yourself."</p> + +<p>Loitering along toward them, a while after, I remarked, +as I approached, the expressive faces of the +group, and their graceful attitudes, as they discussed +Cornelia's "favorite," and reflected how much the +poetry and beauty that environ youth, when refined +by nature and polished by education, surpass the +highest achievements of art.</p> + +<p>"What innocence in that face! What dewy soft<a name="Page_381" id="Page_381"></a>ness +in the steadfast eyes!" exclaimed Cornelia. +"The very shoes have an appropriate expression! +dear little bird! one can't help loving her, and wanting +to know all about her."</p> + +<p>"If she were not deaf and dumb," said her cavalier, +"I am sure she would rise and make a courtesy +to such flattering admirers! I am getting dreadfully +jealous of her!"</p> + +<p>"You needn't be, as far as I am concerned," retorted +Ida; "for my part, I don't like that brown +stuff dress! She isn't <i>fixed up</i> a bit, as children +always are, when they sit for their portraits." And +she tripped away to take another look at her especial +admiration—the "<i>Peasants Returning from the +Harvest-field</i>," which is, indeed, a gem.</p> + +<p>"What does Miss Ida mean?" inquired Alloway, +smilingly, of her sister.</p> + +<p>"I am sure I don't know," returned Cornelia, +"she is full of sentiment, which she always endeavors +to hide."</p> + +<p>"With your permission I will go and ask her," +said the admirer of the truant, and bowing politely +to us both, he followed Ida.</p> + +<p>I will just add, here, that I learned afterwards, accidentally, +and not even remotely through him, that +the persons with whom we met Alloway that morning, +were the mother and brother of that scapegrace +we first saw him with. They had come to New +York with the understanding that he would meet +them there, at an appointed time, and assist in the +care required by his dying relative; but this promis<a name="Page_382" id="Page_382"></a>ing +youth had suddenly left the city, without leaving +any clue to his proceedings, probably, in pursuit of +some pretty face, which, like Cornelia's, happened +to attract his attention. Luckily, the poor mother +learned that Alloway, who was slightly known to +her, was in the city, and appealed to him for assistance—with +what success may be inferred from the +little incident I have narrated.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>It has always been a matter of marvel, with the +learned in such matters, how Sir Walter Scott accomplished +such Herculean literary labors in conjunction +with the discharge of so many public and social +duties. As he himself used to say, he long had a +"troop of dragoons galloping through his head," to +which, as their commanding officer, he devoted +much attention; he was sheriff of the county—(in +the discharge of the duties of this office, by the way, +he used to march through the streets of the shire-town, +during court term, arrayed in a gown and bag +wig, at the head of his <i>posse comitatus</i>, greatly to +his own amusement and that of his friends)—and +remarkable for the most urbane and diffusive hospitality. +After he ceased to be the <i>Great Unknown</i>, +or rather, after he was identified with that celebrity, +Abbotsford became the resort of innumerable visitors, +attracted thither by curiosity, interest, or friendship. +Not only his beautiful residence, but the nu<a name="Page_383" id="Page_383"></a>merous +points of scenery and the superb ruins in the +neighborhood of Abbotsford, which had been rendered +classic by his magic pen, were to be inspected +by these guests, and Scott always seemed to have +time for a gallop among the hills, an excursion to +Dryburgh and Melrose Abbey, a pilgrimage along +the banks of the romantic river he has helped to +immortalize, or a lively chat with the ladies after +dinner. And he never had that air of pre-occupation +that so often characterizes literary men, in general +society. He took part in the most genial and +hearty manner, in the conversation of the moment, +bringing his full quota to the common stock of mirth, +anecdote and jest. I can almost see him, as I write, +sitting in the midst of a social circle, in his drawing-room, +trotting the curly-pated little son of Mrs. +Hemans, who was at Abbotsford on a visit, with +her sister and this child, upon his <i>strong</i> knee, and +singing,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Charley my darling, my darling, Charley my darling,"</p> +<p class="continue">at intervals, for the amusement of the little fellow. +I chanced, too, to accompany him, when he attended +the poetess to her post-chaise, on the morning of her +departure, and had occasion to remark his courteous +hospitality to the last. "There are some persons," +said he, with his cordial smile, as he offered his hand +at parting, "whom one earnestly desires to meet +again. You, madam, are one of those." But I am +quite forgetting the object that induced my recurrence +to these well-remembered scenes.<a name="Page_384" id="Page_384"></a></p> + +<p>In answer to some leading remark of mine, regarding +the wonderful versatility of his father-in-law, +addressed to Mr. Lockhart, as we stood together contemplating +the ivy-mantled walls of Dryburgh, he +informed me of the secret of his extraordinary +achievements with the pen: "When you meet him +at breakfast," said Mr. Lockhart, "he has already, +as he expresses it, 'broken the neck of the day's +work'—<i>he writes in the morning</i>. Eschewing the +indulgences of late rising and slippered ease (at the +last he rails incontinently), he is up with the lark—by +half past four or five, dresses as you see him at +a later hour, in out-door costume, visits the stables, +and then sets himself resolutely to work. By nine +o'clock, when he joins us, he has accomplished the +labors of a day, almost."</p> + +<p>"His correspondence alone must occupy an immense +deal of time," said I.</p> + +<p>"And yet," returned my companion, "Sir Walter +makes it a rule to answer every letter on the day of +its reception. It must be an urgent cause that interferes +with this habit. And I am often astonished at +the length and careful composition of his replies to +the queries of literary correspondents, as well as to +his letters of friendship."</p> + +<p>"One would suppose his health must be impaired +by such severe mental labor," I answered.</p> + +<p>"His cheerful temper, and his power to <i>leave care +behind him</i> in his study, are a great assistance to +him," replied Mr. Lockhart, moving towards our +horses, as he spoke—"but here," he added, smilingly,<a name="Page_385" id="Page_385"></a> +laying his hand on his saddle, "here is his grand +preservative. It must be foul weather, indeed, even +for our Northern land of mists and clouds, that keeps +him from his <i>daily allowance of fresh air</i>."</p> + +<p>"Sir Walter is an accomplished horseman, I observe," +said I, as we resumed our ride.</p> + +<p>"You may well say that!" exclaimed his son-in-law, +laughing. "I wish you could have seen him at +the head of his troop of horse, charging an imaginary +foe. Only the other day, his favorite steed +broke the arm of a groom who attempted to mount +him; and yet, in Sir Walter's hands, he is as docile +as need be. There seems to be some secret understanding +between him and his horses and dogs. +This very horse, though he will never permit another +man to mount him, seems to obey his master's behests +with real pride as well as pleasure. I believe +he would kneel to receive him on his back, were he +bidden to do so."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Dipping into an instructive and pleasant, though +no longer new book,<a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> the other day, I came across +the following passage: "Brougham has recorded +that the peroration of his speech in the Queen's +case"—his celebrated defence of Queen Caroline +against her beastly husband—"was written no less +than ten times before he thought it fit for so august +an occasion. The same is probably true of similar +passages in Webster's speeches; it is known to be<a name="Page_386" id="Page_386"></a> +so of Burke's." What do you think of such examples +of industry and perseverance as these, young gentlemen?</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Step in, ma'am, step in, if you please," said our +Jehu, opening the door of a stage-coach, in which I +was making a journey through a region not then +penetrated by modern improvements, "would you +like the back seat?" Beside him stood a slightly-formed, +delicate-looking girl, in a hesitating attitude.</p> + +<p>"I cannot ride backwards without being ill," said +she, timidly, "and I—I shall be sorry to disturb any +one, but I would like to sit by a window."</p> + +<p>A young man who was sitting on the middle seat +with me immediately alighted, to make room for the +more convenient entrance of the stranger, and, as he +did so, the driver said decidedly—"Shall be obliged +to ask the gentlemen on the back seat to accommodate +the lady." A low-browed, surly-looking young +fellow, who sat nearest the door of the vehicle, on +the seat designated, doggedly kept his place, muttering +something about having the first claim, "first +come, first served," etc. Seeing how matters stood, +a good-natured, farmer-like looking old man, who +occupied the other end of the seat, called out +cheerily, "The young woman is welcome to my +place, if I can only get out of it!" and he began +at once to suit the action to the word.</p> + +<p>By this time the before pale face of the young<a name="Page_387" id="Page_387"></a> +girl was painfully flushed, and she said, in a low, +deprecating tone, "I am very sorry to make so +much trouble."</p> + +<p>"No trouble at all, ma'am—none at all! Just +reach me your hand and I'll help you up—that's +it!"</p> + +<p>"I am much obliged to you, sir—very much! I +hope you will find a good seat for yourself," said +the recipient of his kindness, gently.</p> + +<p>"No doubt of it!" returned he of the cheery voice. +"I ain't at all sorry to change a little—them back +seat's plaguy cramped up! They say," added he, +settling himself next the boot, "that the front seat's +the easiest of all. One thing, there's more room +[stretching his legs with an air of infinite relief +between those of his opposite neighbors], a <a name="tn_png_387"></a><!--TN: "duced" changed to "deuced"-->deuced +sight!"</p> + +<p>"Take your fare, gem'men," cried a bustling personage, +at this moment.</p> + +<p>"What is the fare from here to O——?" inquired +the stationary biped in the corner behind me.</p> + +<p>"Six shillings, York money," was the ready response.</p> + +<p>"Six shillings!" growled the other; "seems to me +there's great extortion all 'long this road. Yesterday +I paid out three dollars, hard money—twelve shillin' +for lodgin', supper, and breakfast, back here +to G——!"</p> + +<p>"Take your fare <i>now</i>, sir," interrupted the bustling +little man at the door, stepping upon the wheel, +in sublime indifference to the muttered anathemas,<a name="Page_388" id="Page_388"></a> +half addressed to him. "What name, sir?"—preparing +to write on the "way-bill"—"<i>always</i>, sir! it is +rulable—always put down the name."</p> + +<p>The low voice of the lady, when she was reached, +in due order, was almost lost in the grumbling kept +up by the agreeable occupant of the corner seat. +The most amusing commingling of opposite sounds +reached my ears, somewhat like the soft tones of a +distant flute, and the growling—not loud, but deep—of +a hungry mastiff. "Julia Peters"—"takes off the +silver, by thunder!"—"Is my band-box put on?" +here a chinking, as of money counted, and then a hurried +fumbling appeared to take place in the "deepest +depths" of various pockets. "How soon will +we be there," in silvery murmurs—"By George! I +swear I b'lieve I lost two shillin'!"—"Before dark!" +chimed in the flute-notes. "I am glad to hear it!" +"I'll be hanged if any one shall come it over me!" +surged over the musical ripple. "When you stop at +my brother-in-law's," concluded the softer voice, in +this unique duet.</p> + +<p>Having been sometime on the wing, I fell into a +doze, as we proceeded. As I roused myself, at +length, the young man who had alighted to make +room for the entrance of Miss Peters, whispered, +"That young lady seems very ill—what can we +do for her relief?" A moment's attention convinced +me that the poor thing was horribly <i>stage-sick</i>. +When she appeared to rally a little, I turned round +to her, and said, that I trusted she would allow me to +render her any service in my power. Forcing a<a name="Page_389" id="Page_389"></a> +smile, she thanked me, and replied that she would +soon be better she thought, adding, in a still lower +tone, that the <i>smell of tobacco</i> always affected her +very sensibly. This last remark was at the time +unintelligible to me, but I afterwards learned that the +animal on the same seat with her had regaled himself +upon the vilest of cigars while I was napping, +and that the only attempt at an apology he had +offered was a mumbled remark that, "as the wind +blew the smoke out of the stage, he s'posed no one +hadn't no objections!"</p> + +<p>Despite the hope expressed by my suffering neighbor, +she did <i>not</i> get better, but continued to endure +a most exhausting ordeal. Every decent man in the +coach seemed to sympathize with her, the rather +that she so evidently tried to make the best of it, +and to avoid annoying others. Every one had a +different remedy to suggest, but, unfortunately, none +of them available, as there was no stopping place +near. Though a somewhat experienced traveller, my +ingenuity could, until we should stop, effect no more +than disposing my large woollen shawl so as to aid in +supporting the weary head of the poor child.</p> + +<p>As soon as we reached the next place for changing +horses, I sprang out, in common with the other passengers, +and, inquiring for the nearest druggist, hastened +to procure a little reliable <i>brandy</i>.</p> + +<p>Having previously arranged a change of seats with +the harmless stripling who had thus far occupied +the middle back seat, I entered the stage, and +quietly told the young lady that, as there was no one<a name="Page_390" id="Page_390"></a> +of her own sex aboard, I should claim the privilege +of age, and prescribe for her, if she would permit +me.</p> + +<p>"This is not a pleasant dose, I must warn you," +said I, offering her a <i>single teaspoonful of clear +brandy</i>, "but I can safely promise you relief, if you +will swallow it; this is a nice, clean glass, too," I +added, smilingly, for I well knew how much that assurance +would encourage my patient.</p> + +<p>"I do not know how to thank you sufficiently, +sir," said the young lady, striving to speak cheerfully, +as she attempted to raise her head. Taking the +tumbler, with a trembling hand, she bravely swallowed +my prescription. I must own she gasped a +little afterwards, but I could not allow her the relief +of water, without nullifying the proper effect, so I +assisted her in removing her bonnet (which the good-natured +farmer, who had re-entered the coach with +me, carefully pinned upon the lining of the vehicle, +where it would safely swing), and in enveloping +her head in her veil, adjusting her shawl comfortably +about her, and wrapping my own about her +feet.</p> + +<p>"If I become your physician," said I, as I stooped +to make the latter process more effectual, "you must +allow me the right to do as I think best."</p> + +<p>"I shall be only too much obliged by your +kindness, sir," returned she. "All I fear is, that +you will give yourself unnecessary trouble on my +account."</p> + +<p>"The gentleman don't seem to think it's no trou<a name="Page_391" id="Page_391"></a>ble," +interposed the old farmer, "'taint never no +trouble to good-hearted folks to help a fellow-cretur +in distress! I wish my wife was here; she knows a +great sight better than I do, how to take care o' sick +folks."</p> + +<p>"I am sure," replied the invalid, "if kindness +could make people well, I should be restored. I +feel myself greatly indebted to you, gentlemen."</p> + +<p>The slight color called to her cheek by the genuine +feeling with which she uttered these words, was +by no means decreased, as she gracefully accepted +the offerings of the youth who had first called my +attention to her indisposition. Coming up to the +side of the stage, near her, he expressed the hope +that she was feeling better, and, saying that he had +known sea-sickness relieved by lemon-juice, presented +a fine, fresh lemon, and a superb carnation-pink, and +quickly withdrew.</p> + +<p>Mr. Benton—that I heard him tell the way-bill-man +was his name—lost something in not hearing +and seeing all I did of the pleasure he bestowed by +his gifts; but he had his reward, as he re-seated himself +near us.</p> + +<p>"You did not give me an opportunity to thank +you for your politeness, sir," the lady hastened to +say, with a pretty, half-shrinking manner, "I am +so much obliged to you for the flower! it is so spicy +and refreshing, and so very beautiful."</p> + +<p>"A very indifferent apology for a bouquet," returned +the gentleman, "all I could find, however. I<a name="Page_392" id="Page_392"></a> +am very happy if it affords you the slightest gratification."</p> + +<p>No sooner were we fairly on our way again, than +I insisted upon supporting the head of my fair patient +upon my shoulder, assuring her that ten minutes' +sleep would complete the cure already begun +in her case. She blushed, and hesitated a little, +upon the plea that she would tire me.</p> + +<p>"Allow me to be the judge of that," I answered, +with some gravity, "and permit the freedom of an +old man." With this, I placed my arm firmly about +her slight form, and, without more ado, the languid +head dropped upon my shoulder.</p> + +<p>I very soon had the satisfaction to discover that +"tired nature's sweet restorer" had come to my assistance, +and to discern the return of some natural +color to the pallid face of the poor sufferer; so gathering +her shawl more closely about her, and disposing +myself more effectually to support my light burden, +I maintained my vigil until the sudden stopping of +the vehicle aroused us all.</p> + +<p>"The lady gets out here," cried the driver, opening +the door, and, through the obscurity that had +now gathered about us, I dimly discerned the outlines +of the small dwelling in front of which we were +at a stand. In another moment, the door was flung +hurriedly open, and a gentleman hastened forward +to receive my fair charge, who, notwithstanding the +confusion of the moment, found time to acknowledge +the insignificant attentions she had received from<a name="Page_393" id="Page_393"></a> +her travelling companions, much more warmly than +they deserved. Our last glimpse of my interesting +patient, revealed her folded closely in the arms of +a lady, who appeared in the lighted passage, and +embraced, simultaneously, by several curly-headed +children, who clung to her dress, and hung upon her +neck with manifest and noisy delight.</p> + +<p>We lumbered along, across a dark, covered bridge, +up hill and down, and then I reached my destination, +for the nonce, the "New York Hotel," as the +little tavern of the village of B—— was grand-eloquently +styled.</p> + +<p>"Well, I ain't sorry we're arrove!" exclaimed the +elegant young man, with whose courtesy of nature my +story opened. "George!"—stretching his ungainly +limbs upon the porch of the house—"won't some +tipple be fine? Hotel tipple's good enough for me!"</p> + +<p>Before I could decide in my own mind whether +this last declaration was intended as a fling at me, +for not giving Miss Peters a match for his disgusting +tobacco-smoke, from the bar of the stage-house, when +I came to the rescue in her service, he was scuffling +with some ragged boys for his trunk, and, as he +marched off with his prize, I heard a characteristic +growl over the prospective tax upon his purse.</p> + +<p>The next day was Sunday, and, of course, I was +temporarily at a stand-still in my journey.</p> + +<p>The sexton of the neat little church to which I +found my way in the morning, put me into a pew +next behind that I surmised to be the Rector's. A +movement among its occupants arrested my attention,<a name="Page_394" id="Page_394"></a> +and I soon became really interested in remarking +the healthful beauty of the children, who, disposed +between the two ladies occupying the extreme ends +of the seat, seemed to find some difficulty in keeping +as quiet as decorum required.</p> + +<p>"I want to sit by aunt Julia," I overheard, as a +bright-eyed little fellow began to nestle uneasily in +his seat. Upon this, the lady at the top of the pew +turned her head, and, behold! the face of my young +stage-coach friend! She was too much engaged, +however, in aiding their mother, as I supposed her +to be, in settling the children, before the service +should commence, to observe me, and I almost +doubted whether the happy, smiling face I saw, was +identical with the worn and colorless one that had +reposed so helplessly upon my breast on the previous +evening; but there was no mistaking the soft, blue +eyes, and the wavy hair, almost as sunny in hue +as that of the little fellow who, at length, rested +quietly, with his head pillowed on her arm.</p> + +<p>Scarcely had we begun with the Psalter, before Miss +Peters looked quickly round, with a startled glance. +A half-smile of recognition lighted her sweet face, +and then her gaze was as quickly withdrawn.</p> + +<p>"Good morning, sir!" exclaimed my new acquaintance, +advancing eagerly toward me, and offering +her hand, as soon as we were in the vestibule of +the church, at the conclusion of the service; "I did +not anticipate this pleasure—sister, this is the gentleman +to whom I was so much indebted yesterday."</p> + +<p>"We are all much obliged by your kindness to<a name="Page_395" id="Page_395"></a> +<a name="tn_png_395"></a><!--TN: "Kiss" changed to "Miss"-->Miss Peters sir," her companion hastened to say, +and both bowed most politely to my disclaimers of +merit for so ordinary an act of humanity as that to +which they referred, and to my inquiries for the +health of my fair patient.</p> + +<p>Then followed a cordial invitation to dinner, in +which each vied with the other in frank hospitality. +I attempted to compromise the matter by a promise +to pay my respects to the ladies in the evening.</p> + +<p>"We do not dine until five on Sunday, sir, and +that is almost evening! Mr. Y—— will walk over +and accompany you—you are at the Hotel? It will +give us great pleasure if you will come, unceremoniously, +and partake of a simple family dinner. Miss +Peters claims you as <i>a friend</i>."</p> + +<p>There was no withstanding this, especially as each +phrase of courtesy was made doubly expressive, by +the most ingenuously hospitable manner.</p> + +<p>"Really, ladies," said I, as we reached the gate +of the Rectory, "there is no resisting such fair +tempters! I will be most happy to exchange the +solitude of my dull room for the joys of your Eden."</p> + +<p>And, insisting that I could not permit Mr. Y—— +to add to his clerical duties the fatigue of calling for +me, I renewed my expressions of gratification at the +restoration of Miss Peters, and took my leave.</p> + +<p>I was still engaged in laying off my overcoat and +shoes, after sending in my card, when Mr. Y—— +came out to welcome me; and a most cordial welcome +it was! Such a warm hand-shaking as he gave +me, and such emphatic assurances of the pleasure it<a name="Page_396" id="Page_396"></a> +afforded him to make my acquaintance! And when +I entered the tasteful little parlor, where I found +the ladies, I was received with equally frank hospitality. +The children united with their seniors in +making me feel, at once, that I was among friends. +One little circumstance, I remember, particularly +touched me. I was scarcely seated, when a little +tottering thing, with a toy in her hand, came and +placed herself between my knees, and raising a pair +of large, truthful, blue eyes to mine, lisped out, "I +does 'ouv 'ou dearly!—'ou was 'o dood to aun' Dule!—I +dive 'ou my pretty 'ittle birdie!" and the little +cherub presented me the toy.—It was many a long +day afterwards, believe me, my dear boys, before the +warmth infused into the heart of an old campaigner, +by the simple adventures of that quiet village Sabbath, +ceased to glow cheerily in his heart!</p> + +<p>After the unpretending, but pleasant, well-appointed +dinner was concluded, Miss Peters rose, and, with a +slight apology to me, was leaving the room, when +her sister arrested her. Some playful, whispered +contest seemed to be going on between the two, of +which I could not help overhearing, in the sweet, +silvery tones that had charmed me in the stage-coach, +"You know, dear, it's such a luxury to me!—you +are always with them. I will have my own +way when I am here!" and away she flew like a +fawn.</p> + +<p>Presently, the pattering of numerous tiny feet, and +a commingling of joyous voices, and the music of +childish laughter, reached my ears, from the stairs,<a name="Page_397" id="Page_397"></a> +and then all was for a moment hushed. Now there +was distinctly heard from above, the swelling notes +of a simple, child's hymn, sung by several voices, +led by the musical one I had learned to distinguish, +and then followed a low-murmured "Our Father," +as I thought.</p> + +<p>"Colonel Lunettes," said my hostess, drawing a +chair to the sofa corner, where I had been snugly +ensconced by two of the children, before they said +good-night, "I will take advantage of sister's absence +to express my personal obligations to you for your +kind care of her yesterday"——</p> + +<p>"My dear Madam," I interposed, "I regard my +meeting your sister as a special Providence, for +which I alone should be deeply grateful!"</p> + +<p>"You are very polite, sir," answered the lady, +"we, too, should be grateful. Julia should never travel +alone. Mr. Y—— always goes over to O—— +for her, when we expect her, and intended to do so +this time, but she insisted upon it in her last letter, +that she <i>knew</i> she wouldn't be ill, and that he would +only distress her by coming, as she was sure he was +necessarily very busy, preparing for the Bishop's +visit, and, indeed, she expected to come over with +an elder lady teacher in the Seminary."</p> + +<p>"Then Miss Peters is instructing, Mrs. Y——?"</p> + +<p>"She is, sir. We are orphans [a slight quiver in +the tones] and Julia prefers to make this effort for +herself"——</p> + +<p>"I am opposed to it," continued Mr. Y——, taking +up the narrative, as his wife half-paused, "and<a name="Page_398" id="Page_398"></a> +much prefer that Julia should be with us,—she and +Mrs. Y—— should not be separated. I am sure +there is room enough in our hearts for all <i>our children</i>, +and Julia is one of them!"</p> + +<p>The grateful, loving smile, and dewy eyes of the +wife, alone expressed her sense of pleasure at these +words. For myself, I declare to you, I did not like +to trust myself to reply. I was turning over some +new pages of the history of human nature! Sometimes +I think, as I did then, that the soul of man +never reaches the full development of its earthly capacities, +except when continually subjected to the +blessed influences of <i>nature</i>! The city—the beaten +thoroughfares of existence—curb, if they do not +deaden, the better manifestations of the spirit, check +forever, the most beautiful, individualizing specialities +of manner even! But I did not mean to moralize.</p> + +<p>When Miss Peters rejoined us, her brother-in-law +rose (as I also did, of course) and seated her between +us, on the sofa.</p> + +<p>"My dear young lady," said I, taking her hand +respectfully in my own, "permit me to say, as Dr. +Johnson did to Hannah More, upon meeting her for +the first time, '<i>I understand that you are engaged +in the useful and honorable occupation of instructing +young ladies</i>,'—if it were possible more thoroughly +to forget the brevity of our acquaintance, than I have +already done, this would have deepened my respect +and interest for you! Pardon me, if I take too +great a liberty. You have, from the commencement<a name="Page_399" id="Page_399"></a> +of our acquaintance, permitted me the privileges of +an octogenarian"——</p> + +<p>"And of a <i>gentleman of the old school</i>!" she +added, with great vivacity, and with the most bewitching +smile.</p> + +<p>"Before I leave you, my dear Miss Peters, will +you allow me to make a prophecy?"</p> + +<p>"If you are a prophet of <i>good</i>, sir"——</p> + +<p>"Can you doubt it, when your future fate is the +subject?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed, sir, I shall have great faith in your +auguries!" returned my fair neighbor, bestowing the +twin of her first smile upon me.</p> + +<p>"Well, then, my dear, it is my solemn conviction +that you have not yet learned all you will one day +know of the depth of the impression you have left +upon the heart of Mr. Benton," I answered, with a +gravity that I intended should <i>tell</i>.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Benton! so that's his name?" laughed Mrs. +Y——, gaily. "Julia pretended not to know his +name! I thought it was a conquest! I have not +yet had an opportunity of looking out the '<i>language</i>' +of a very large, full blown carnation pink!"</p> + +<p>"No doubt," interrupted Mr. Y——, "it is precisely +the opposite of <i>lemon-juice</i>!"</p> + +<p>Between laughing and blushing, the fair subject +of this badinage made but a faint show of resistance; +but, at this juncture, she managed to say, as she +turned to me, with a most courteous bow.</p> + +<p>"I very much question whether the sentiments +expressed by any flower can more readily touch the<a name="Page_400" id="Page_400"></a> +heart, than that <i>I</i> have known conveyed by a <i>teaspoonful +of brandy</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Bravo!" cried Mr. Y——.</p> + +<p>"Well done, Julé!" echoed my hostess.</p> + +<p>And I!—my feelings were too deep for words! I +could only lay my hand upon my heart, and raise +my eyes to the ceiling.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Perhaps there is no better test of the unexceptionableness +of a habit, than to <i>suppose it generally +adopted, and infer the consequences</i>. I remember +some such reflection, in connection with a little circumstance +that once fell under my observation:—Dining +with a young Canadian, at his residence in +Kingston, C. W., I met, among other persons, an +English notability, of whom I had frequently heard +and read. A slight pause in the conversation, made +doubly audible a loud yawn proceeding from one +corner of the dining-room, and, as a general look of +surprise was visible, a huge Newfoundland dog approached +us, stretching his limbs, and shaking from +his shaggy coat anything but</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Sabæan odors, from the spicy shores<br></span> +<span class="i0">Of Araby the Blest!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Our host endeavored to say something polite, and +the animal, advancing toward the celebrity, stationed +himself, familiarly, at his master's side, somewhat to +the annoyance, probably, of the lady next him.<a name="Page_401" id="Page_401"></a></p> + +<p>With the utmost <i>sang froid</i>, the "privileged character" +held his finger-bowl to his dog, and remarked, +as he eagerly lapped the contents, that he had eaten +highly-seasoned venison at lunch!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Foreigners," says Madame de Stael, "are a kind +of contemporaneous posterity." This truth apart, I +had sufficient reason to blush for my country, on +more than one occasion, lately, while travelling at +the West, in company with a well-bred young European. +His own manners were so pleasing as to +render more striking the peculiarities of others, and +his habits so refined, as, when united with his large +observation and intelligence, to make him an exceedingly +agreeable person to associate with.</p> + +<p>One hot day, during a portion of our journey performed +by steamer, I looked up from my book, and +saw him coming toward me.</p> + +<p>"I have found a cool place, sir," said he, "and +have come to beg you to join me—we shall be undisturbed +there."</p> + +<p>I rose, and was about to take up my seat.</p> + +<p>"Allow me, sir! I am the younger," said he; and +he insisted upon carrying my seat, as well as the one +he had previously secured for himself. And this +was his habitual phrase, when there was any occasion +to allude to the difference in our years. He +never said—"You are older than I am," or insinuated +that my lameness made me less active than he, +when he offered his arm, in our numerous prome<a name="Page_402" id="Page_402"></a>nades. +The idea he seemed ever studying to express +was, that he had pleasure in the society of the old +soldier, and thought him entitled to respect and precedence +on all occasions. Aside from the personal +gratification and comfort I derived from these graceful +and unremitting attentions, it was a source of +perpetual pleasure to me to observe his beautiful +courtesy to all with whom he came in contact. He +had with him a land surveyor, or agent of some sort; +with this person he, apparently, found little in common, +but, when he had occasion to converse with +him, I always remarked his punctilious politeness. +And so with his servant; he always <i>requested</i>, never +<i>ordered</i>, him to do what he wished. Reserved and +laconic, when giving him directions, there was yet +a certain assuring kindliness in his <i>voice</i>, that seemed +to act like a talisman upon his man, who, speaking +our language very imperfectly, would have often suffered +the consequences of embarrassing mistakes, +but for the clear, simple, intelligible directions and +explanations of his master. But to return.</p> + +<p>Scarcely were we seated quietly in the retired +spot so carefully selected by my friend, when a +couple of young fellows came swaggering along, and +stationing themselves near us, began smoking, spitting +and talking so loudly, as to disturb and annoy +us, exceedingly.</p> + +<p>"What a pity that this fine air should be so poisoned!" +exclaimed my companion, in French, glancing +at the intruders. "For my part, <i>pure air</i> is good +enough for me, without perfume!"<a name="Page_403" id="Page_403"></a></p> + +<p>"Do you never smoke?" I asked, in the same +tongue.</p> + +<p>"Certainly! but I do not smoke <i>always</i> and <i>everywhere</i>! +Neither do I think it decent to soil every +place with tobacco-juice, as you do in this country!"</p> + +<p>"It is infamous!" returned I. "Now just look at +those fellows! See how near they are to that group +of ladies, and then look at the condition of the deck +all around them." As I spoke, the lady nearest the +nuisance, apparently becoming suddenly aware of +her dangerous proximity, hurriedly gathered her +dress closely about her, and moved as far away as +she could without separating herself from her party. +Despite these indications, the shower continued to +fall plentifully around, and the smoke to blow into +the faces of those who were so unfortunate as to be +seated in the neighborhood.</p> + +<p>"Have you not regulations to prevent such annoyances," +inquired the stranger.</p> + +<p>"Every steamer professes to have them, I believe," +returned I, "but if such vulgar men as these choose +to violate them, no one even thinks of insisting upon +their enforcement—every one submits, and every +one is annoyed—that is, all decent people are!"</p> + +<p>"<i>Vive la Liberté et l'Egalité!</i>" exclaimed the +European, laughing good-humoredly.</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_403"></a><!--TN: Quote removed before "As"-->As if echoing the mirth of my companion, a +merry laugh from the group of ladies near us, arrested +my attention at this moment. Without appearing +to remark them, I soon ascertained that they were +amusing themselves with the ridiculous figure presented +by one of the smokers. His associate had left<a name="Page_404" id="Page_404"></a> +him "alone in his glory," and there he sat, fast asleep, +with his mouth wide open, his hat over one eye, +and his feet tucked across under the seat of his chair, +which supported only on its hind legs, was tilted +back against the side of the cabin. My description +can give you but a poor idea of the ludicrousness of +the thing. One of those laughing girls would have +done it better! I overheard more than one of their +droll comments.</p> + +<p>"What if his chair should upset, when he 'catches +fish!'" exclaimed a pretty little girl, looking roguishly +from under her shadowing round straw hat.</p> + +<p>"There is more danger that that wasp will fly +down his throat," replied another of the gay bevy. +"What a yawning cavern it is! That wasp is hovering +over the 'crack of doom!'"</p> + +<p>"He reminds me rather of Daniel in the lion's +den," put in a third.</p> + +<p>"Let's move our seats before he wakes up," cried +one of the girls, as the nondescript made a slight +demonstration upon a fly that had invaded his repose. +"He is protected by the barricade he has surrounded +himself with—like a upas-tree in the centre of +its own vile atmosphere—but <i>we</i>, unwary travellers, +are not equally safe!"</p> + +<p>A day or two afterwards, these very young men +were just opposite me at table, in a hotel in one of +our large Western cities.</p> + +<p>They were well dressed (with the exception of +<i>colored shirts</i>) and well-looking enough, but, after +what I had previously seen of them, I was not surprised +to observe their habits of eating. One would<a name="Page_405" id="Page_405"></a> +throw up both arms, and clasp his hands over his +head, while waiting for a re-supply of food; the +other stop, now and then, to <i>lay off</i> his bushy moustache, +so as to make more room for the shovelling +process he kept up with his knife, for the more rapid +disappearance of a large goblet of water at one swallowing, +or for the introduction of a mammoth ear of +corn, which he took both hands to hold, while he +gobbled up row after row, with inconceivable rapidity. +Then one would manipulate an enormous +drum-stick, while he lolled comfortable back in his +chair, grievously belaboring his voluminous beard, +the while, and leaving upon it an all-sufficient substitute +for maccassar, and the other, simultaneously +make a loud demonstration with his pocket-handkerchief, +or upon his head. Now one would stretch out +his legs under the table, until he essentially invaded +my reserved rights, and then the other insert his +tongue first in one cheek, and then in the other, rolling +it vigorously round, as a cannoneer would swab +out a great gun with his sponge, before re-loading! +Flushed, heated, steaming, the heaps of sweet-potato +skins, bones, and bits of food profusely scattered +over the soiled cloth, fully attested the might of their +achievements!</p> + +<p>Much of this, as I said, I was prepared for, but I +was somewhat surprised by what followed.</p> + +<p>I had sent for a quail, I think, or some other small +game, and was preparing to discuss its merits, when +one of these young men, reaching over, stuck his fork +into the bird, and transferred it to his own plate!<a name="Page_406" id="Page_406"></a></p> + +<p>I saw at a glance that no offense was intended to +me—that the seeming rudeness was simply the result +of vulgarity and ignorance; so I very quietly directed +the servant to bring me another bird.</p> + +<p>Scarcely was the second dish placed before me, +when the other youth of this delectable pair exactly +repeated the action of his companion, and I again +found myself minus my game.</p> + +<p>"<i>Mon Dieu!</i>" cried my young foreign friend, "if +you can endure that, you are a hero, sir!"</p> + +<p>An hour or two subsequent to this agreeable incident, +I was again seated in the cars, and hearing a +noise behind me, soon satisfied myself that my neighbors +at dinner that day were to be my neighbors +still, and that they were at present busily employed +in disputing with the conductor respecting a seat +next their own, which they wished to monopolize for +the accommodation of their legs, and which, in consequence +of the crowded state of the cars, the man +insisted upon filling with other passengers. Presently +there came in a pale, weary-looking woman, +with a wailing infant in her arms and another young +child clinging to her garments. She found a seat +where she could, and sinking into it, disposed of a +large basket she had also carried, and commenced +trying to pacify the baby.</p> + +<p>Here was a fit subject for the rude jests and jibes +of the young fellows I have described. And full use +did they make of their vulgar license of tongue. +The poor mother grew more and more distressed as +those unfeeling comments reached her ears from<a name="Page_407" id="Page_407"></a> +time to time, and at each outbreak from the infant +strove more nervously to pacify it.</p> + +<p>I observed that a good-humored looking, large, +handsome man, who sat a little before this woman, +frequently glanced round at the child, and sought to +divert its attention by various little playful motions. +At length, when the cars stopped for a few minutes, +out he sallied, in all haste, and presently returned +with his hands full of fruits and cakes. Offering a +liberal share of these to the woman and her little +girl, after distributing some to his party, he reserved +a bright red apple, and said cheerily to the mother: +"Let me take your little boy, ma'am, I think I can +quiet him."</p> + +<p>The little urchin set up a loud scream, as he found +himself in the strong grasp of the stranger; but, a +few moments' perseverance effected his benevolent +purpose. Tossing the boy up, directing his attention +to the apple, and then carrying him through the +empty car a turn or two, sufficed to chase away the +clouds and showers from what proved to be a bright, +pretty face, and very soon the amiable gentleman +returned to his seat, saying very quietly to the woman, +as he passed her, "We will keep your little +child awhile, and take good care of him." The baby +was healthy-looking, and its clothes, though plain, +were entirely clean—so the poor thing was by no +means a disagreeable plaything for the young lady +beside whom the gentleman was seated. For some +little time they amused themselves in this humane +manner, and then the young man gently snugged the<a name="Page_408" id="Page_408"></a> +weary creature down upon his broad chest, and +there it lay asleep, like a flower on a rock, nestled +under a shawl, and firmly supported by the enfolding +arm that seemed unconscious of its light burden.</p> + +<p>Meantime the pale, tired mother regaled herself +with the refreshments so bountifully provided for +her, watching the movements of the little group before +her with evident satisfaction; and at length +settled herself for a nap in the corner of her seat, +with the other child asleep in her lap.</p> + +<p>The noisy comments of the "fast" young men in +the rear of the car became less audible and offensive, +I noticed, after the stranger came to the rescue, and +when I passed their seat, afterwards, I could not be +surprised at their comparative silence, upon beholding +the enormous quantity of pea-nut shells and fruit +skins with which the floor was strewn, and noticing +the industry with which they were squirting tobacco +juice over the whole.</p> + +<p>By-and-by the cars made another pause. The +mother of the little boy roused herself and looked +hastily round for her treasures. Upon this the +young lady who occupied the seat with her new +friend came to her and seemed reassuring her. As +soon as the thronging crowd had passed out, I heard +her saying, as I caught a peep at the sweetest face, +bent smilingly towards the woman—"I made a nice +little bed for him, as soon as the next seat was empty, +and he is still fast asleep. Does he like milk? Mr. +Grant will get some when he wakes—it is so unpleasant +for a lady to get out of the cars." (Here the<a name="Page_409" id="Page_409"></a> +woman seemed to make some explanation, and a +shadow of sympathy passed over the smiling face I +was admiring, as one sees a passing cloud move +above a sunny landscape.) "Well, we will be +glad to be of use to you, as far as we go on," pursued +the fair girl; "I will find out all about it, and +tell you before we leave the cars. Now, just rest +all you can—let me put this shawl up a little +higher—there! It is such a relief to get off one's +bonnet! I'll put it up for you. The little girl had +better come with me.—Oh, no, she will not, I am +sure! What's your name, dear? Mary! that's the +<a name="tn_png_409"></a><!--TN: "pretiest" changed to "prettiest"-->prettiest name in the world! everybody loves Mary! +I have such a pretty book to show you"—and having +tucked up the object of her gentle care in quite +a cosy manner, while she was saying this, the good +girl gave a pretty, encouraging little nod to the +woman, and went back, taking the other juvenile +with her, to her own place. When her companion +joined her, she looked up in his face with a beaming, +triumphant sort of a smile, and, receiving a +response in the same expressive language, all seemed +quite understood between them.</p> + +<p>"What an angel!" exclaimed the young European, +in his favorite tongue, as he re-entered the +car, and caught part of this little by-scene. "Do +you know what she said to that poor woman?"</p> + +<p>I gave him all the explanation in my power. +His fine eyes kindled. "She is as good as she is +beautiful! Have you remarked the magnificent +head of the gentleman with her? What a superb<a name="Page_410" id="Page_410"></a> +profile he has—so classic! And his broad chest—there's +a model for a bust! I happened to be in the +studio of your celebrated countryman, Powers, at +Florence, with my father, who was sitting to him, +when the great Thorwaldsen came to visit him. +Boy, as I was, at that time, I remember his words, +as he stood before the bust of your Webster: '<i>I cannot +make such busts!</i>' But was it not, sir, because +he had no such <i>models</i> as your country affords?" +These were courteous words; but I do them poor +justice in the record; I cannot express the voice +and manner from which they received their charm.</p> + +<p>Well, at the risk of tiring you, I hasten to conclude +my little sketch. I amused myself by quietly +watching the thing through, and noticed, towards +evening, that the amiable strangers went together to +the woman they had befriended, after the gentleman +had been into the hotel, before which we were +standing, seemingly to make some inquiry for her. +Both talked for a few minutes, apparently very +kindly, to her and to the children, and seemed to +encourage her by some assurance as they parted. +As they were turning away, the grateful mother +rose, and, snatching the hand first of one, and +then of the other, burst out, with a "God bless +you both!" so fervent as to be audible where I sat.</p> + +<p>"Don't speak of such a trifle!" returned the +youth, in a clear, distinct voice, raising his noble +form to its full height, and flashing forth the light of +his falcon eye; "for my part, I am very glad to be +able to do a little good as I go along in the world!"<a name="Page_411" id="Page_411"></a></p> + +<p>In a few moments the handsome stranger was seen +carefully placing his fair travelling companion in an +elegant carriage, where a lady was awaiting them, +and upon which several trunks were already strapped. +While cordial greetings were still in progress +between the trio, a well-dressed servant gave the +reins to a superb pair of dark bays, and in another +instant they were flying along in the direction of a +stately-looking mansion of which I caught sight in +the distance.</p> + +<p>"Who the d—— is that fellow?" shouted one of +the pair in the rear. "I say, porter," stretching his +body far out of the car window, and beckoning to a +man on the steps of the neighboring building, +"What's the name of those folks in that carriage? +dev'lish pretty girl, I swear!"</p> + +<p>"Sir-r-r?" answered Paddy, coming to the side +of the car, and pulling his dirty cap on one side +of his head with one hand, while he operated upon +his carroty hair with the fingers of the other; +"what's yer honor's plaizure?"</p> + +<p>"I say, what's the name of that gentleman who +has just gone off in that carriage there?"</p> + +<p>"Oh! sure that's young Gineral Grant; him that +owns the fine house beyant—I hear tell he's the new +Congressman, sir!"</p> + +<p>"<i>Bien!</i>" whispered my foreign friend, laughing +heartily, "this <i>is</i> a great country! you do things +upon so large a scale here, that one must not +wonder when <i>extremes meet</i>!"</p> + +<p><a name="Page_412" id="Page_412"></a></p><hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"What, coz, still sitting with your things on, +waiting? Haven't you been impatient?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, not at all, I've been reading."</p> + +<p>"Well, but, do you know it's twelve o'clock? We +were to start at half-past ten. What did you think +of me for delaying so long?"</p> + +<p>"I was afraid some accident had happened; but I +could see nothing from the window, and I did not +like to go out on the portico alone."</p> + +<p>"Then you did not think me careless, and were +not vexed?"</p> + +<p>"Not I, indeed! I was sure you would come if +you could, and was only anxious about you, as you +were to try that new horse. I did not take off my +bonnet, because I kept expecting you every moment."</p> + +<p>"And I kept expecting to come every moment—that +devilish animal! I tried to send you word, but +I could not get sight of a servant—confound the fellows! +they are always out of the way when one +wants them."</p> + +<p>"But, Charley, dear, what about the horse? Has +he really troubled you? I am sorry you bought +him."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I've conquered him! it wouldn't have taken +me so long before I had that devilish fever! But, +come, cozzy dear, will you go now, or is your patience +all gone?"</p> + +<p>"I would like the drive—but, Charley, had we not +better put it off until to-morrow morning? You<a name="Page_413" id="Page_413"></a> +must be tired out, and, perhaps, the horse will continue +to trouble you."</p> + +<p>"No, no—come, come along, if you are willing to +go."</p> + +<p>Now, Charley and his cousin were together at a +little rural watering-place, in search of change of air +and scene. Charley had been recently ill, and, as +he chanced to be separated from his family at the time, +was particularly fortunate in having had the gentle +ministrations of Belle, as he usually called her, at +command, during his convalescence.</p> + +<p>Belle was an orphan, without brothers, and she +clung to Charley with the tenacity of a loving +heart, deprived of its natural resources. Temporarily +relieved from her duties as a teacher, her cousin +invited her to accompany him in this little tour, in +pity for the languor that was betrayed by her drooping +eyes, and lagging step; and his kindly nurse, +flattering herself that her "occupation" was not yet +quite "gone," was only too happy to escape from her +city prison, under such safe and agreeable protection. +Yielding and quiet, as she ordinarily was, +Belle had very strict notions of propriety on some +points. So, when she and her cousin were making +their final arrangements, before commencing +their journey, she laid upon the table before him, a +bank-note of considerable amount, with the request +that he would appropriate it to the payment of her +travelling expenses.</p> + +<p>"Time enough for that, by-and-by, coz."</p> + +<p>"No, if you please, Charley. It is enough that<a name="Page_414" id="Page_414"></a> +you will be burdened by the care of me, without +having your purse taxed, too. Just be so good as +to keep a little account of what you pay for me—remembering +porterage, carriage-hire, and such matters—ladies +always have the most luggage." And a +little hand playfully smoothed the doubled paper +upon the cuff of Charley's coat-sleeve, and left it +lying there.</p> + +<p>Her cousin very well knew that this bank-note +comprised a large portion of Belle's quarterly salary, +though she made no allusion to the matter; and, +though his own resources were moderate, men so +much more easily acquire money than women—well, +never mind! people differ in their ideas of <i>luxury</i>.</p> + +<p>Charley had some new experiences in this little +tour of his and Belle's. He had an idea, previously, +that "women are always a bother, in travelling," and +he found himself sorely puzzled to make out, exactly, +what trouble it was to have his cousin always ready +to read to him, when they sat together on the deck +of a steamer, or while he lay on the sofa at a hotel, +to claim the comfortable seat at her side in a rail-car, +to have her keep his cane and book, while he +went out to chat with an acquaintance, watch when +he grew drowsy, and softly gather his shawl about +his neck, and make a pillow of her own for him, or +to see the tear that sometimes gathered in her meek +eyes, when she <a name="tn_png_414"></a><!--TN: "acknowleded" changed to "acknowledged"-->acknowledged any little courtesy on +his part. Then, when, after they were settled in +their snug quarters, at the watering-place, Belle, +half-timidly, sat a moment on his knee, and, looking<a name="Page_415" id="Page_415"></a> +proudly round upon the order she had brought out +of chaos, among his toilet articles, books, and clothes, +said—"Oh, what a happy week I have to thank you +for, dear cousin Charley! You have done so many, +many kind things for me, all the way! I have had +to travel alone almost always since pa's—since"—he +was really quite at a loss to know what "kind things" +she referred to, and said so.</p> + +<p>"Why, Charley!" returned she, making a vigorous +effort to get over the choking feeling that had +suddenly assailed her, upon alluding to her deceased +father, "don't you know—no, you don't know, what +a happiness it is to a poor, lonely thing, like me, to +have some one to take care of her luggage, and pay +her fare, and all those things? I know, in this +country, women can travel alone, safely—quite so; +but it isn't pleasant, for all that, to go into crowds +of rough men, without any one. The other evening, +at New Haven, for instance, it was quite dark, when +we landed, and those hackmen made such a noise, +and crowded so—but I felt just as safe, and comfortable, +while sitting waiting for you in the carriage, +all the while you were gone back about our trunks! +Oh, you can't realize it, Charley, dear!" and the fair +speaker shook her head, with a mournful earnestness, +that expressed almost as much sober truthfulness, as +appealing femininity.</p> + +<p>But about this morning drive.</p> + +<p>With the trusting confidence for which her sex +have such an infinite capacity, Belle yielded at once +to the implied wish of her temporary protector, and<a name="Page_416" id="Page_416"></a> +they were soon rolling along, in a light, open carriage, +through deeply-shadowing woods and across +little brooklets which were merrily disporting themselves +under the trees.</p> + +<p>The poor wild-wood bird, so long caged, yet ever +longing to be free, carolled and mused by turns, or +permitted her joyous nature to gush out in exclamations +of delight.</p> + +<p>"What delicious air!" she exclaimed. "Really it +exhilarates one, like a cordial. Oh, Charley, dear, +look at those flowers! May I get out for them? Do +let me! I won't be gone a minute. Just you sit +still, and hold your war-steed. Don't be so ceremonious +as to alight; I need no assistance." And with +a bound the happy creature was on her feet, and in +an instant dancing along, to the music of her own +glad voice, over the soft grass.</p> + +<p>Too considerate to encroach upon his patience +unduly, Belle soon reseated herself beside Charley, +with a lap full of floral treasures.</p> + +<p>"Here are enough for bouquets for both our +rooms," said she; "how fresh and fragrant they are!</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">'They have tales of the joyous woods to tell,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Of the free blue streams and the glowing sky.'<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">Bless God for flowers—<i>and friends</i>!"</p> + +<p>As the artless girl fervently uttered the last words, +she turned a pair of sweet blue eyes, into which +tears of gratitude and pleasure had suddenly started, +upon the face of her companion. What a painful +revulsion of feeling was produced by that glance!<a name="Page_417" id="Page_417"></a> +She scarcely recognized the face of her cousin, so +completely had gloom and discontent usurped the +place of his usual hilarious expression. What <i>could</i> +be the matter? Had she offended him!</p> + +<p>Repressing, with quick tact, all manifestations of +surprise, though her frame thrilled, as if from a +heavy blow, Belle was silent for a while, and then +said in a subdued tone that contrasted strangely with +her former bird-like glee—"Your horse goes nicely +now, Charley, doesn't he? You seem to have effectually +conquered him; but I am sure you must be +tired, now, dear cousin, you have been out so long. +Had we not better return?"</p> + +<p>"Why, you have had no ride at all yet, Isabella," +returned the young man, in a voice that was as startling +to his sensitive auditor as his altered countenance +had been.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, I have," she quickly answered, endeavoring +to speak as cheerfully as possible, "I have enjoyed +myself so much that I ought to be quite contented +to go back, and I really think we'd better +do so."</p> + +<p>Charley's only response was turning his horse's +head homeward. For a while they drove on in +silence, Belle's employment of arranging her flowers +now wholly mechanical, so engrossing was the +tumult in her heart.</p> + +<p>Just as they came in sight of their hotel, the unruly +animal that had already occasioned his new +owner so much trouble, stopped, and stood <a name="tn_png_417"></a><!--TN: "a" added after "like"-->like a +wooden effigy in the middle of the road.<a name="Page_418" id="Page_418"></a></p> + +<p>In vain did word and whip appeal to his locomotive +powers. At length the pent-up wrath that had +apparently been gathering fury for the last hour +burst forth.</p> + +<p>"Devilish brute! I never was so shamefully imposed +upon! I wish to G—— I never had set foot in +this infernal hole! There's no company here fit for +a decent fellow to associate with. I shall die of +stupidity in a week—particularly if I have to drive +such a confounded concern as this!" Here followed +a volley of mingled blows and curses.</p> + +<p>The terrified witness of this scene sat tremblingly +silent, for a time, clinging to the side of the carriage, +as if to keep herself quiet. Presently she said:</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I'd better jump out and run to the +house, and send some one out to assist you."</p> + +<p>"You may get out, if you choose," answered her +cousin, gruffly, "but I want no assistance about the +horse. I'll break every bone in his body, but I'll +conquer his devilish temper!"</p> + +<p>After another pause, Belle said, "Well, Charley, +if you please, I will walk on. I am sorry you are so +annoyed," she added, timidly, carefully averting her +pale face from him; "but perhaps this is only a +phase, and he may never do so again."</p> + +<p>Her companion broke into a loud, mocking laugh. +"What in thunder do you know about horses, Isabella?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing, Charley—nothing in the world," returned +his cousin, quickly, in the gentlest voice, "I +only"—<a name="Page_419" id="Page_419"></a>—</p> + +<p>"Ye-es!" drawled the angry youth, "I know—some +women think their '<i>ready wit</i>' will enable +them to talk upon any subject! Get up, now, you +rascal, will you?"</p> + +<p>Belle knew her weakness too well to trust herself +to speak, so, drawing her veil closely about her face, +and gathering up her shawl and her flowers, she stepped +from the low carriage with assumed composure, +and bowing slightly, walked towards the house.</p> + +<p>Meeting a servant, at the foot of the stairs, she +said, very quietly, "Mr. Cunningham will be here +in a few minutes with his horse; I hope some one +will be ready to take him," and passed on. This +was all she <i>dared</i> to do, in aid of the exasperated +youth.</p> + +<p>Once in her own room, it seemed but the work of +a moment for the agitated girl to throw off her shawl +and bonnet, and transport some light refreshments +she had previously prepared, across the passage to +her cousin's room, to draw up his lounging chair to +the table, and with a few skillful touches to give that +air of comfort to the simply-furnished apartment +which it had been her daily pleasure to impart to it.</p> + +<p>This self-imposed task achieved, she flew, like a +guilty intruder, to her own little asylum, and locking +the door, flung herself upon the bed, burying +her face in the pillows.</p> + +<p>But though her quick, convulsive sobs were stifled, +they shook her slight, sensitive form till it quivered +in every nerve, like a delicate exotic suddenly exposed +to the blasts of a northern winter.<a name="Page_420" id="Page_420"></a></p> + +<p>By-and-by a sound roused her from this agony of +tears.</p> + +<p>"There is the first dinner-gong," said she, to herself, +starting up, "what shall I do? Perhaps Charley +won't like it if I don't go to dinner. My head +aches dreadfully. I don't mind that so much, but +(looking in the glass) my face is so flushed. I +wouldn't for the world vex Charley, I'm sure." +With this she began some hasty toilet preparations; +but her hands trembled so violently as to force her +to desist.</p> + +<p>Wrapping her shivering form in her shawl, she +sat down on a low chair, and again gave way to emotions +which gradually shaped themselves thus:</p> + +<p>"I am so sorry I came with Charley. He was never +anything but kind till we came here. And then I +should have, at least, had nothing but pleasant things +to remember. But now—I am afraid Charley is +ashamed of me; he looked at my dress so scrutinizingly +this morning, when he came to my door. I +know I'm not the least fashionable; but Mrs. Tillou +is, and she complimented me on this <i>négligé</i>—it is +soiled now, and my pretty slippers, too, walking +back through the mud! 'Isabella!' How cold and +strange it sounded! I am so used to 'cozzy dear,' +and have learned to love it so. My poor heart!" +pressing both hands upon her side as if to still a +severe pang. Then she rose, and creeping slowly +along the floor, swallowed some water, and seating +herself at the table, drew writing materials towards +her. Steadying her hand with great effort, and every<a name="Page_421" id="Page_421"></a> +moment pressing her handkerchief to her eyes, she +achieved the following note:</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p>"Having a little headache to-day, dear Charley, I +prefer not to dine, if you will excuse me. I will be +quite ready to meet you in the parlor before tea.</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">"Ever yours,<br></span> +<span class="presignature3 smcap">"Belle.<br></span> +</div> + +<p style="font-size:.8em;">"<i>Tuesday Morning.</i>"</p> + +</div> + +<p>Designing to accompany this with some of the +flowers she now remembered, for the first time since +her return from her ill-starred morning excursion, +Belle hastily re-arranged the prettiest of them in a +little bouquet. As she removed an already withered +wild-rose from among its companions, a solitary +tear fell upon its shrivelled petals. "Perhaps," she +murmured mournfully, with a heavy sigh, "I should +have made another idol,—perhaps I should soon +have learned to <i>love Charley too well</i>, if this chastening +had not come upon me—could he have thought +so?" As she breathed this query, the small head was +suddenly thrown back, like that of a startled gazelle, +and a blush so vivid and burning as to pale the previous +flush of agitation, flashed over cheek and +brow.</p> + +<p>Quickly ringing the bell, and carefully concealing +herself from observation, behind the door, when she +half-opened it, the servant who answered her summons +was requested to hand the note and flowers to +Mr. Cunningham, if he was in his room, and if not,<a name="Page_422" id="Page_422"></a> +to place them where he would "be sure to see them +when he came up."</p> + +<p>"When will I ever learn," said Belle, in a tone of +bitter self-reproach, as she re-locked the door, "not +to cling and trust,—not</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">——"to make idols, and to find them clay!"</p> + +<p>"I have not seen you looking so well since you +came here, Miss Cunningham," said a gentleman to +Belle, joining her as she was entering the public parlor +that evening. "Do allow me to felicitate you! +What a brilliant color!—You were driving this +morning, were you not? No doubt you are indebted +to your cousin for the bright roses in your <a name="tn_png_422"></a><!--TN: Single quote changed to a double quote at end of paragraph-->cheeks!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>And now, my dear young friends, let me only add, +in concluding this lengthened letter, that, had I +early acquired the <i>habit of writing</i>, you would, +doubtless, have less occasion to criticise these effusions—attempted, +for your benefit, at too late a +period of life to enable me to render them what I +could wish. Use them as <i>beacons</i>, since they cannot +serve as <i>models</i>!</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">Adieu!<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Henry <a name="tn_png_422a"></a><!--TN: Period added after "Lunettes"-->Lunettes.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3 style="margin-top:.5em;">Footnotes:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> Sketches of Reform and Reformers,—by <i>H. B. Stanton</i>.</p> +</div> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_423" id="Page_423"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_XI" id="LETTER_XI"></a>LETTER XI.</h2> + +<p class="chapterhead">MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.</p> + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">Having</span> touched, in our preceding letters, +upon matters relating to Physical Training, +Manner, and the lighter accomplishments that embellish +existence, we come now to the <i>inner life</i>—to +the Education of the Mind and Heart, or Soul of +Man.</p> + +<p>Metaphysicians would, I make no doubt, find +ample occasion to cavil at the few observations I +shall venture to offer you on these important subjects, +and, painfully conscious of my total want of skill +to treat them in detail, I will only attempt a few <a name="tn_png_423"></a><!--TN: "dessultory" changed to "desultory"-->desultory +suggestions, intended rather to impress you +with the importance I attach to <i>self-culture</i>, than to +furnish you with full directions regarding it.</p> + +<p>The genius of our National Institutions pre-supposes +the truth that education is within the power of all, and +that all are capable of availing themselves of its benefits. +Education, in the highest, truest sense, does +not involve the necessity of an elaborate system of +scientific training, with an expenditure of time and<a name="Page_424" id="Page_424"></a> +money entirely beyond the command of any but the +favored few who make the exception, rather than the +rule, in relation to the race in general.</p> + +<p>Happily for the Progress of Humanity, the +"will to do, the soul to dare," are never wholly +subject to the control of outer circumstance, and +here, in our free land, they are comparatively untrammeled.</p> + +<p>"There are two powers of the human soul," says +one of our countrymen, distinguished for a knowledge +of Intellectual Science, "which make self-culture +possible, the <i>self-searching</i>, and the <i>self-forming</i> +power. We have, first, the faculty of turning the +mind on itself; of recalling its past, and watching its +present operations; of learning its various capacities +and susceptibilities; what it can do and bear; what +it can enjoy and suffer; and of thus learning, in general, +what our nature is, and what it is made for. It +is worthy of observation, that we are able to discern +not only what we already are, but what we may become, +to see in ourselves germs and promises of a +growth to which no bounds can be set; to dart +beyond what we have actually gained, to the idea of +perfection at the end of our being."</p> + +<p>Assuming that to be the most enlightened system +of education which tends most effectively to develop +all the faculties of our nature, it is impossible, practically, +to separate moral and religious from <a name="tn_png_424"></a><!--TN: "intelleclectual" changed to "intellectual"-->intellectual +discipline. If we possess the <i>responsibility</i> +as well as the capacity of self-training—that must be +a most imperfect system, one most unjust to our<a name="Page_425" id="Page_425"></a> +better selves, which cultivates the intellectual powers +at the expense of those natural endowments, +without which, man were fitter companion for fiends +than for higher intelligences!</p> + +<p>Pursued beyond a certain point, education, established +upon this basis, may not facilitate the acquisition +of wealth; and if this were the highest pursuit +to which it can be made subservient, effort, beyond +that point, were useless. But if we regard the +acquirement of money chiefly important as affording +the essential means of gratifying the tastes, providing +for the necessities, and facilitating the exercise +of the moral instincts of our being, we return, at +once, to our former position.</p> + +<p>"<i>He, therefore, who does what he can to unfold +all his powers and capacities, especially his nobler +ones, so as to become a well-proportioned, vigorous, +excellent, happy being, practises self-culture.</i>"</p> + +<p>Those of you who have enjoyed the advantages of +a regular course of intellectual training, will need no +suggestion of mine to aid you in mental discipline; +but possibly a few hints on this point may not be +wholly useless to others.</p> + +<p>The general dissemination of literature, in forms +so cheap as to be within the reach of all, renders +<i>reading</i> a natural resource for purposes of amusement +as well as instruction. But they who are still so +young as to make the acquisition of knowledge the +proper business of life, should never indulge themselves +in reading for <i>mere amusement</i>. Never, there<a name="Page_426" id="Page_426"></a>fore, +permit yourselves to pass over words or allusions, +with the meaning of which you are unacquainted, +in works you are perusing. Go at once to the +fountain-head—to a dictionary for unintelligible +words, to an encyclopedia for general information, to +a classical authority for mythological and other similar +facts, etc., etc. You will not read <i>as fast</i>, by adopting +this plan, but you will soon realize that you are, +nevertheless, advancing much more rapidly, in the +truest sense. When you have not works of reference +at command, adopt the practice of making brief +memoranda, as you go along, of such points as require +elucidation, and avail yourself of the earliest +opportunity of seeking a solution of your doubts. +And do not, I beg of you, think this too laborious. +The best minds have been trained by such a course. +Depend upon it, <i>genius</i> is no equivalent for the +advantage ultimately derived from patient perseverance +in such a course. I remember well, that to the +latest year of his life, my old friend, De Witt Clinton, +one of the noblest specimens of the race it has been +my fortune to know, would spring up, like a boy, +despite his stiff knee, when any point of doubt arose, +in conversation, upon literary or scientific subjects, +and hasten to select a book containing the desired +information, from a little cabinet adjoining his usual +reception-room. His was a genuine <i>love of learning</i> +for its own sake; and the toil and turmoil of political +life never extinguished his early passion, nor +deprived him of a taste for its indulgence.<a name="Page_427" id="Page_427"></a></p> + +<p>Moralists have always questioned the wisdom of +indulging a taste for fictitious literature, even when +time has strengthened habit and principle into fixedness. +The license of the age in which we live, renders +futile the elaborate discussion of this question +of ethics. But, while permitting yourselves the occasional +perusal of works of poetry and fiction, do +not so far indulge this taste as to stimulate a disrelish +for more instructive reading. And, above all, do +not permit yourselves to acquire an inclination for +the unwholesome stimulus of licentiousness, in this +respect. Every man of the world should know +something of the belle-lettre literature of his own +language, at least, and, as a rule, the more the better; +but,</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise;"</p> + +<p class="continue">and the vile translations from profligate foreign literature, +which have, of late years, united with equally +immoral productions in our own, to foster a corrupt +popular taste, cannot be too carefully avoided by all +who would escape moral contagion.</p> + +<p>You will find the practice of noting fine passages, +felicitous modes of expression, novel thoughts, etc., +as they occur even in lighter literary productions, +not unworthy of your attention. It will serve, collaterally, +to assist in the formation of a pure style of +conversation and composition, a consideration of no +small importance for those whose future career will +demand facility in this regard. Carlyle has somewhere +remarked that, "our public men are all gone<a name="Page_428" id="Page_428"></a> +to tongue!" This peculiarity of the times, may, to +some extent, have grown out of its new and peculiar +social and political necessities. But, whether that +be so, or not, since such is the actual state of things, +let all new competitors for public distinction seek +every means of securing ready success.</p> + +<p>While I would not, without reservation, condemn +the perusal of fictitious literature, I think you will +need no elaborate argument to convince you of the +superior importance of a thorough familiarity with +<i>History</i> and general <i>Science</i>.</p> + +<p>Let me, also, commend to your attention, well-chosen +<i>Biography</i>, as affording peculiarly impressive +incentives to individual effort, and, often, a considerable +amount of collateral and incidental information. +The Life of Johnson, by Boswell, for instance, which, +as far as I know, still retains its long-accorded place +at the very head of this class of composition (some +critic has recorded his wonder that the best biography +in our language should have been written by a +<i>fool</i>!) contains a world of information, respecting +the many celebrated contemporaries of that great +man, the peculiarities of social life in England, at +his day, and the general characteristics of elegant +literature. So, of Lockhart's Life of Scott, and other +records of literary life. The lives of such men as +Shelley, and Coleridge, afford an impressive warning +to the young—teaching, better than a professed +homily, how little talents, unguided by steadfastness +of purpose and principle, avail for usefulness and +happiness. The examples of Lord Nelson, <a name="tn_png_428"></a><!--TN: Period changed to comma after "Howard"-->Howard,<a name="Page_429" id="Page_429"></a> +Mungo Park, Robert Hall, Franklin, and Washington, +may well be studied, in detail, for the lessons +they impress upon all. And so, of many of the brave +and the good of our race—I but name such as passingly +occur to me.</p> + +<p>Do not permit newspaper and magazine reading +to engross too much of your time, lest you gradually +fall into a sort of <i>mental dissipation</i>, which will unfit +you for more methodical literary pursuits.</p> + +<p>A cultivated taste in Literature and Art, as, indeed, +in relation to all the embellishments and enjoyments +of life, is, properly, one of the indications, if not the +legitimate result, of thorough mental education. But, +while you seek, by every means within your control, +to enlarge the sphere of your perceptions, and to +elevate your standard of intellectual pleasures, carefully +avoid all semblance of conscious superiority, +all <i>dilettanti</i> pretension, all needless technicalities +of artistic language. Remember that <i>modesty</i> is always +the accompaniment of true merit, and that the +smattering of knowledge, which the condition of Art +in our infant Republic alone enables its most devoted +disciples to acquire, ill justifies display and +pretension, in this respect. So, with regard to matters +of literary criticism—enjoy your own opinions, +and seek to base them upon the true principles of +art; but do not inflict crudities and platitudes upon +others, under the impression that, because of recent +acquisition to a tyro in years, and in learning, they +are likely to strike mature minds with the charm of +novelty! Thus, too, with scientific lore. If Sir<a name="Page_430" id="Page_430"></a> +Isaac Newton only gathered "pebbles on the shore" +of the limitless ocean of knowledge, we may well +believe that</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"Wisdom is a pearl, with most success<br></span> +<span class="i2">Sought in still water."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Let me add, while we are, incidentally, upon this +matter of personal pretension, that to observing persons +such a manner often indicates internal distrust of +one's just claims to one's social position, while, on the +contrary, quiet self-possession, ease and simplicity, are +equally expressive of self-respect and of an entire certainty +of the tacit admission of one's rights by others. +Nothing is more underbred than the habit of taking +offense, or fancying one's self slighted, on all occasions. +It betokens either intense egotism, or, as I +have said, <i>distrust of your rightful position</i>—that +you are embittered by struggling with the world—neither +of which suppositions should be betrayed by +the bearing of a man of the world. Maintain outward +serenity, let the torrent rage as it may within, +and <i>never allow the world to know its power to +wound you through your undue sensitiveness</i>!</p> + +<p>Well has the poet asserted that</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Truth's a discovery made by <i>travelled minds</i>."</p> +<p class="continue">No one who can secure the advantage of seeing life +and manners in every varying phase, should fail to +add this to the other branches of a polite education. +Do not imbibe the impression, however, that merely +going abroad is <i>travelling</i>, in the just sense of the +term.<a name="Page_431" id="Page_431"></a></p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Oft has it been my lot to mark,<br></span> +<span class="i0">A proud, conceited, talking spark,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Returning from his finished tour,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Grown ten times perter than before.<br></span> +<span class="i0">Whatever word you chance to drop,<br></span> +<span class="i0">The travelled fool your mouth will stop:—<br></span> +<span class="i0">'Sir, if <i>my</i> judgment you'll allow,<br></span> +<span class="i0">I've <i>seen</i>, and sure <i>I</i> ought to know!'<br></span> +<span class="i0">So begs you'll pay a due submission,<br></span> +<span class="i0">And acquiesce in his decision."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Send a fool to visit other countries, and he will +return—only a "<i>travelled</i> fool!" But give a rightly-constituted +man opportunities for thus enriching and +expanding his intellectual powers, and he returns to +his native land, especially if he be an American, a +better citizen, a more enlightened, discriminating +companion and friend, and a more liberal, useful, +catholic Christian!</p> + +<p>Some knowledge of modern languages, especially +of the French, has now become an essential part of +education. The value of this acquisition, even for +<i>home use</i>, can scarcely be over-estimated, and without +a familiarity with colloquial French, a man can +hardly hope to pass muster abroad. I will, however, +hazard the general observation that, as a rule, it is +better to acquire a <i>thorough knowledge of one language</i> +(and of French, pre-eminently, for practical +availability) than a slight acquaintance with several. +Few persons, comparatively, in our active, busy +land, have leisure, at any period of life, for familiarizing +themselves with the literature of more than +one language, besides their own, and to possess the<a name="Page_432" id="Page_432"></a> +mere nomenclature of a foreign tongue is but to +have <i>the key</i> to information. There is, of late, a +fashion in this matter, which has little else to recommend +it than that it <i>is the fashion</i>; and with persons +of sense and intelligence there should be some +more powerful and satisfactory motive for the devotion +of any considerable portion of "<i>Time, nature's +stock</i>."</p> + +<p><i>Apropos</i> of this, nothing is more likely to teach a +true estimate of the <i>value</i> of <i>time</i> than that perfection +of education pronounced by the philosopher of old +to be the knowledge that we <i>know nothing</i>! In +other words, they only, who in some sort discern, by +the light of education, the vast field that lies unexplored +before them, can have any adequate conception +of the care and discrimination with which they +should use that treasure of which alone it is '<i>a virtue +to be covetous</i>.'</p> + +<p>Nothing, perhaps, more unmistakably indicates +successful self-culture than the habitual exhibition +of Tact. It may almost be called another sense, +growing out of the proper training of the several +faculties of body and mind. And though there is a +vast natural difference between persons of similar outward +circumstances, in this respect, much may be +effected by attention and practice, in the acquisition +of this invaluable possession. Like self-possession, tact +is one of the essential, distinctive characteristics of +good-breeding—the legitimate expression of natural +refinement, quick perceptions and kindly sympathies. +Cultivate it, then, my young friends, in common<a name="Page_433" id="Page_433"></a> +with every elegant embellishment of the true gentleman! +Do not confound it with dissimulation or +hypocrisy, nor yet regard it as the antagonist of +truthfulness, self-respect and manly dignity. On +the contrary, it is the best safeguard of courtesy, as +well as of sensibility.</p> + +<p>Among useful methods of self-discipline, let me +instance the benefit resulting from the early adoption +of a <i>code of private morality</i>, if you will permit +me to coin a phrase, composed of rules and maxims +adapted to your own personal needs and peculiarities +of position and mental constitution. Washington, +I remember, adopted this practice, and Mr. +Sparks, or some one of his biographers, has preserved +the record from oblivion. It is many years since +I came across these rules, and I can no longer recall +more than the fixed, though general, impression that +they embodied much practical wisdom and clearly +indicated the patient spirit of self-improvement for +which the author was remarkable. I commend +them to you as a model. Perhaps the immortal +biographer who has now given the world a new life +of his great namesake, will afford you the means of +satisfying yourselves personally of the correctness of +my impressions of them.</p> + +<p>In preparing this code for yourselves, I can give +you no better guide than that afforded by the truth +expressively conveyed in the following lines:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"<i>'Tis wisely great to talk with our past hours,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>To ask them what report they bore to Heaven,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>And how they might have borne more welcome news.</i>"<br></span> +<a name="Page_434" id="Page_434"></a></div></div> + +<p>That is a very imperfect conception of education +which limits its significance to <i>knowledge gained +from books</i>. A profound acquaintance with literary +lore is often associated with total ignorance of the +actual world, of the laws that govern our moral +and intellectual being, and with an incapacity to +discern the Beautiful, the True, the Good. They +only are <i>educated</i>, who have acquired that self-knowledge +and self-discipline which inspire a <i>disinterested +love of our fellow-beings, a reverence for +Truth</i>—in the largest sense of the term—<i>and the +power of habitually exalting the higher faculties over +the animal propensities of our nature</i>.</p> + +<p>It is only, therefore, when man unites moral discipline +with intellectual culture, that he can be said to +be truly educated; and the most ambitious student +of books should always bear in mind the truth that +the <i>free play of the intellect is promoted by the development +of moral perceptions</i>, and that mental +education, even, does not so much consist in loading +the memory with facts, as in strengthening the +capacity for independent action—for judging, comparing, +reflecting.</p> + +<p>"The connection between moral and intellectual +culture is often overlooked," says a celebrated +ethical writer, "and the former sacrificed to the +latter. The exaltation of talent, as it is called, above +virtue and religion, is the curse of the age. <a name="tn_png_434"></a><!--TN: "Educacation" changed to "Education"-->Education +is now chiefly a stimulus to learning, and +thus may acquire power without the principles +which alone make it a good. Talent is worshipped,<a name="Page_435" id="Page_435"></a> +but, if divorced from rectitude, it will prove more +of a demon than a god."</p> + +<p>Holding the opinion, then, that a fixed religious +belief is the legitimate result of a thorough cultivation +of the mental and moral endowments, and that +their united and co-equal development constitutes +education, you will permit me to impress upon your +attention the importance of securing all the aid +afforded by the <i>best lights</i> vouchsafed to us, in the +search after Truth. Conscience is a blind guide, +until assisted by discriminating teaching, and honest, +persevering endeavors at self-enlightenment. For +myself, my experience, in this respect, has afforded +me no assistance so reliable and efficient as that to +be gathered from the <i>Life of Jesus Christ</i>, as recorded +by his various biographers, and collected in the +New Testament. I commend its study, renewedly, +to you, not in search of a substantiation of human +doctrines, not to determine the accuracy of particular +creeds, but to possess yourself of simple, intelligible, +practicable directions for the wise regulation +of your daily life, and those ceaseless efforts at self-advancement +which should be the highest purpose of</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"A being breathing thoughtful breath,<br></span> +<span class="i0">A creature between life and death!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Accustomed to the standard established by Him +who said, "Be ye, therefore, perfect, even as I am +perfect," we will not be deterred from the steadfast +pursuit of right by the imperfect exhibitions, so fre<a name="Page_436" id="Page_436"></a>quently +made, of its efficacy, in the lives of the professed +followers of the wonderful Nazarine. Conscious +of the difficulties, the temptations and the +discomfitures that we ourselves encounter, we will +learn, not only to discriminate between the imperfections +of the disciple and the perfection of the +Master, but to exercise that charity toward others, +of which self-examination teaches us the need, in our +own case. Thus, the Golden Rule, which so inclusively +epitomizes the <i>moral code</i> of the Great Teacher, +will come to be our guide in determining the path +of practical duty, and the course of self-culture, most +essential to the security of present happiness, and as +a preparative for that eternal state of existence, of +which this is but the embryo.</p> + +<p>Thus, making God and conscience—which is the +voice of God speaking within us—the arbiter between +our better nature and the impulses excited by +the grosser faculties, we shall be less tempted by +outward influences to lower the abstract standard +we originally establish, or to reconcile ourselves to +an imperfect conformity to its requisitions. Far less, +will we permit ourselves to indulge the delusion that +we are not, each of us, personally obligated, by our +moral responsibilities, <i>to develop all the powers with +which we are endowed, to their utmost capacity</i>:—</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"They build too low who build below the skies!"</p> + +<p>The most perfect of human beings was also the +most humble and self-sacrificing, so that they who +endeavor to follow his example will not only be de<a name="Page_437" id="Page_437"></a>void +of self-righteous assumption, but actively <a name="tn_png_437"></a><!--TN: "de voted" changed to "devoted"-->devoted +to the good of their fellow-creatures, and, like +Him, pityingly sensible of the wants and the woes +of humanity.</p> + +<p>That reverence for the spiritual nature of man, as +a direct emanation from Deity, which all should +cherish, is, also, to be regarded as a part of judicious +self-culture. Cultivate an habitual recognition of +your celestial attributes, and strive to elevate your +whole being into congenial association with the divinity +within you:—this do for the benefit of others,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"Be noble! and the nobleness that lies<br></span> +<span class="i0">In other men, sleeping, but never dead,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Will rise, in majesty, to meet thine own!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>With so exalted an aim as I have proposed for +your adoption, you will be slow to tolerate <i>peccadilloes</i>, +as of little moment, either in a metaphysical or +ethical point of view. Dread such tolerance, as sapping +the foundations of principle; learn to detect the +insidious poison lurking in Burke's celebrated aphorism, +and in the infidel philosophy that assumes the +brightest semblances that genius can invent, the more +readily to deceive. Establish fixed principles of +benevolence, justice, truthfulness, religious belief, +and adhere steadfastly to them, despite the allurements +of the world, the temptings of ambition, or +weariness of self-conflict.</p> + +<p>The <i>Pursuit of Happiness</i> is but concentrated +phraseology for the purposes and endeavors of every +human being. May you early learn to distinguish<a name="Page_438" id="Page_438"></a> +between the <i>false</i> and the <i>true</i>, between <i>pleasure</i> and +<i>happiness</i>, early know your duty to yourselves, your +country, and your God!</p> + +<p>I will but add to these crude, but heart-engendered, +observations, a few lines, embodying my own sentiments, +and in a form much more impressive than I +can command:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;<br></span> +<span class="i0">In feelings, not in figures on a dial.<br></span> +<span class="i0">We should count time by heart-throbs. <i>He most lives</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.</i>"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I have somewhere met with a little bagatelle, +somewhat like this:—</p> + +<p>Apollo, the god of love, of music, and of eloquence, +weary of the changeless brilliancy of Olympus, +determined to descend to earth, and to secure +maintenance and fame, in the guise of a mortal, by +<i>authorship</i>. Accordingly, the incognito divinity established +himself in an attic, after the usual fashion +of the sons of genius, and commenced inditing a +poem—a long epic poem, plying his pen with the patient +industry inspired by necessity, the best stimulus +of human effort. At length, the task of the god +completed, he, with great difficulty, procured the +means of offering it to the world in printed form. +The Epic of Apollo, the god of Poetry, <i>fell, pre-doomed, +from the press</i>. No commendatory review +had been secured, no fashionable publisher endorsed<a name="Page_439" id="Page_439"></a> +its merits. Disgusted with the pursuit of the wealth +and honors of earth, Apollo returned to Olympus, +bequeathing to mortals, this advice:—"<i>Would you +secure earthly celebrity and riches, do not attempt intellectual +and moral culture, but</i> <span class="smcap">INVENT A PILL</span>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Instances of the successful <i>pursuit of knowledge +under difficulties</i> frequently present themselves in +our contemporaneous history, both in our own country +and in foreign lands. Indeed, the history of the +human mind goes far toward proving that, not the +pampered scions of rank and luxury, but the hardy +sons of poverty and toil, have been, most frequently, +the benefactors of the race. Well has the poet said:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"The busy world shoves angrily aside<br></span> +<span class="i0">The man who stands with arms a-kimbo set,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Until occasion tell him what to do;<br></span> +<span class="i0">And he who waits to have his task marked out,<br></span> +<span class="i0">Shall die, and leave his errand unfulfilled."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>The <i>Learned Blacksmith</i>, as he is popularly called, +acquired thirty, or more, different languages, while +daily working at his laborious trade. He was accustomed +to study while taking his meals, and to have +an open book placed upon the anvil, while he +worked. A celebrated physiological writer, alluding +to the habits of this persevering devotee of philology, +says, that nothing but his uninterrupted practice of +his Vulcan-tasks preserved his health under the vast +amount of mental labor he imposed upon himself.<a name="Page_440" id="Page_440"></a></p> + +<p>Another of our distinguished countrymen, now a +prominent popular orator, is said to have accumulated +food for future usefulness, while devoting the +energies of the outer man to the employment of <i>a +wagoner</i>, amid the grand scenic influences of the +majestic Alleghanies. The early life of Franklin, of +the "Mill-boy of the Slashes," of Webster, and of +many others whose names have become watchwords +among us, are, doubtless, familiar to you, as examples +in this respect.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Looking upon the busy active world around me,—as +I sometimes like to do—from behind the screen of +my newspaper, seated in the reading-room of a hotel, +I became the auditor of the following conversation, +between two young men, who were stationed near a +window, watching the passing throng of a crowded +thoroughfare.</p> + +<p>"By George! there's Van K——," exclaimed one, +with unusual animation.</p> + +<p>"Which one,—where?" eagerly interrogated his +companion.</p> + +<p>"That's he, this side, with the Byronic nose, and +short steps—he's great! What a fellow he is for +making money, though!"</p> + +<p>"Does it by his talents, don't he?—nobody like +him, in the Bar of this State, for genius,—that's a +fact—carries everything through by the <i>force of +genius</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Dev'lish clever, no doubt," assented the other,<a name="Page_441" id="Page_441"></a> +"but he used to study, I tell you, like a hero, when +he was younger."</p> + +<p>"Never heard that of him," answered the other +youth, "how the deuce could he? He has always +been a <i>man about town</i>—real fashionable fellow—practised +always, since he was admitted, and everybody +knows no one dines out, and goes to parties +with more of a rush than Van K——, and he always +has."</p> + +<p>"That may all be, but my mother, who has known +him well for years, was telling me, the other day, +that those who were most charmed with his wit, and +belle-lettre scholarship, when he first came upon the +<i>tapis</i>, little knew the pains he took to accomplish +himself. '<i>He exhibited the result, not the machinery</i>,' +she said, but he <i>did</i> study, and study hard, +when other young fellows were asleep, or raising +h——!"</p> + +<p>"As for that," interrupted the other, "he always +did his full share of all the deviltry going, or I am +shrewdly mistaken!"</p> + +<p>"Nobody surpasses him at that, any more than at +his regular trade," laughed his companion—"oh, but +he's rich! Jim Williams was telling me (Jim studies +with S—— and Van K——) how he put down old +S—— the other day. It seems S—— had been laid +on the shelf with a tooth-ache—dev'lish bad—face +all swelled up—old fellow real sick, and no mistake. +Well, one morning, after he'd been gone several +days, he managed to pull up, and make his appearance +at the office. It was early—no one there but<a name="Page_442" id="Page_442"></a> +Van K—— and the boys—Jim and the rest of the fellows—tearing +away at the books and papers. So old +S—— dropped down in an arm-chair by the stove, +and began a hifalutin description of his sorrows and +sufferings while he had been sick—quite in the 'pile +on the agony' style! Well, just as the old boy got +fairly warmed up, and was going it smoothly, Van +K—— bawled out:—'Y-a-s! Mr. S——! will you +have time, this morning, to look over these papers, +in the case of Smith against Brown?' Jim said he +never saw an old rip so cut down in all his life, and, +as soon as he went out, there was a general bust up, +at his expense!"</p> + +<p>"How confounded heartless!" exclaimed the elder +youth, rising—"by Heaven, I hope a man needn't +set aside the common sympathies and decencies of +humanity, to secure success in his profession, or in +society!" and as he passed me, I caught the flush of +manly indignation that mantled his beardless cheek, +and the lightning-flash of youthful genius that +enkindled his large blue eyes.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"What are you doing there, sir?" inquired one of +the early Presidents of our Republic, of his nephew, +who was standing before an open writing-desk, in his +private apartment.</p> + +<p>"Only getting some paper and pencils, sir," replied +the young man.</p> + +<p>"That <a name="tn_png_442"></a><!--TN: "stationary" changed to "stationery"-->stationery, sir, belongs to the Federal Government!" +returned the American patriot, impres<a name="Page_443" id="Page_443"></a>sively, +and sternly, and resumed his previous occupation.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>Daniel Webster, in conversation with a familiar +friend, said:</p> + +<p>"From the time that, at my mother's feet, or on my +father's knees, I first learned to lisp verses from the +Sacred Writings, they have been my daily study, +and vigilant contemplation. If there be anything in +my style or thoughts worthy to be commended, the +credit is due to my kind parents, in instilling into +my early mind a love for the Scriptures."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"How long will it take you," inquired Napoleon, +of the young brother-in-law of Junot, "to acquaint +yourself with the Coptic language, and be prepared +to go to Egypt on a secret service?"</p> + +<p>"Three months, sire," replied the energetic +Frenchman, with scarcely a perceptible pause for +consideration.</p> + +<p>"<i>Bien!</i>" returned the great Captain, "begin at +once." And he moved on in his briefly-interrupted +walk, through the <i>salon</i> of the beautiful mother of +the youth, saying to the Turkish Ambassador, who +accompanied his stroll:—"There is such a son as +one might expect from such a mother!"</p> + +<p>Three months from that night there left the private +cabinet of Napoleon, a stripling, of slight form +and yet unsunned brow, charged by him who <i>knew +men by intuition</i>, with a task of fearful risk and re<a name="Page_444" id="Page_444"></a>sponsibility; +and, on the morrow, he was embarked +on the blue waters of the Mediterranean, speeding +toward a land where, from the heights of the Pyramids, +a thousand years would behold his deeds!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"I swear, I'll cut that woman! I'll never call +there again, that I am determined!" cried Paul +Duncan, impetuously.</p> + +<p>"But why, brother? Don't judge too hastily," +replied his sister, gently. "The whole family have +always been so kind to us; for my part, I think one +seldom meets persons of more polished manners, +and"——</p> + +<p>"Polished manners!" interrupted the irritable +man, rudely, "what do you call <i>polished manners</i>? +I gave up R—— himself, just because he is so devilish +<i>un</i>-polished, long ago. He passed me, once or +twice, in Wall-street, with his head down, and didn't +even bow! after that I let him run!"</p> + +<p>"He is so engrossed in his philanthropic schemes +that, I suppose, he really did not see you," <a name="tn_png_444"></a><!--TN: "inter posed" changed to "interposed"-->interposed +his sister, mildly. "But the ladies are not +responsible for his peccadilloes."</p> + +<p>"No, they cannot answer for their own, <i>to me</i>," +retorted the other, with bitterness. "When I went +in, last evening, she and her mother were both in +the room. The old lady rose, civilly enough, but +Mrs. R—— kept her seat, partly behind a table, even +when I went to her and shook hands."</p> + +<p>"Dear brother," expostulated his companion,<a name="Page_445" id="Page_445"></a> +"don't you know that Mrs. R—— is not well? She +has not been out in <a name="tn_png_445"></a><!--TN: Period added after "months"-->months."</p> + +<p>"What the devil, then, does she make her appearance +for, if she can't observe the common proprieties +of life?"</p> + +<p>"I doubt whether you would have seen her, had +she not been in the room when you entered. Did +she remain during the whole time of your call?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly; but the old woman slipped out, when +some bustle appeared to be going on in the hall, and +never made her appearance again, at all, only sending +in a servant, just as I was going away, to say that she +'hoped to be excused, as her father had just arrived.'"</p> + +<p>"He is very aged, and she always attends upon +him herself, when he is there, even to combing his +hair," explained the gentler spirit. "I remember +admiring her devotion to the old man, who is very +peculiar, and somewhat disagreeable to persons generally, +when I was staying there a day or two."</p> + +<p>"Well, well; what has that to do with her treatment +of me? Couldn't she trust him with the rest of the +family for a few minutes? There is a tribe of women +always on hand there, besides a retinue of servants."</p> + +<p>"If you will permit me to say so, without offense, +Charley," returned the lady, with sudden determination +of manner, "I fear you did not display your +usual <i>tact</i> on the occasion, and that you, perhaps, +took offense at circumstances resulting from the embarrassment +of our friends, rather than from any intention +to be impolite to you. Ladies are not always +equally well, equally self-possessed, equally in com<a name="Page_446" id="Page_446"></a>pany-mood, +or company-dress. I don't know what +might not befall any of us, were we not judged of, +by our friends rather by our general manner to +them, than by any little peculiarities, of which we +may be ourselves wholly unconscious at the time."</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>If you are as much impressed as I was, upon first +perusing them, with the following sentences from +Sir Humphrey Davy's pen, you will require no +apology from me, for transcribing them here.</p> + +<p>"I envy no quality of mind or intellect in others—not +of genius, power, wit, or fancy; but, if I could +choose what would be most delightful, and, I believe, +most useful, to me, I should prefer <i>a firm religious +belief</i>, to every other blessing, for it makes life a discipline +of goodness, creates new hope, when earthly +hopes vanish, and throws over the decay, the destruction, +of existence, the most gorgeous of all light; +awakens life, even in death, and, from decay, calls +up beauty and divinity; makes an instrument of +torture and shame the ladder of ascent to Paradise; +and, far above all combination of earthly hopes, calls +up the most delightful visions—palms and amaranths, +the gardens of the blessed, the security of +everlasting joys, where the sensualist and the skeptic +view only gloom, decay, and annihilation."</p> + +<p>With these sublime words, my dear nephews, I +bid you, affectionately,</p> + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature1">Adieu!<br></span> +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Henry Lunettes.</span><br></span> +</div> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" class="newpg"><a name="Page_447" id="Page_447"></a> +<h2><a name="LETTER_XII" id="LETTER_XII"></a>LETTER XII.</h2> + +<p class="chapterdescribe">CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS—SELECTION OF A +PURSUIT IN LIFE—COURTSHIP—MARRIAGE—HOUSEKEEPING—PECUNIARY +MATTERS, ETC.</p> + + +<p class="chapterstart">My dear Nephews:</p> + +<p class="firstpara"><span class="firstwords">I think</span> it was Burke who said that those +who desire to improve, should always choose, as +companions, persons of more knowledge and virtue +than themselves. He had, however, the happy +faculty of eliciting information from all with whom +he came in contact, even as the bee extracts sweetness +from the most insignificant and unattractive +flower. It is said of him, you are aware, that he +never took refuge under a projecting eave for five +minutes, to escape a shower, with another man, +without either giving or receiving instruction.</p> + +<p>His excellent habit in this respect, nevertheless, in +no degree invalidated the practical wisdom of the +remark I have ascribed to this celebrated statesman. +It is not easy to attach too much importance to the +<i>choice of Companions and Friends</i>, especially during +that period of life when we are most susceptible +to outward influences.</p> + +<p>Much enjoyment is derived from association with<a name="Page_448" id="Page_448"></a> +those whose tastes, pursuits, and sentiments are +similar to our own; but, in making a selection in +this respect, it is better to seek the companionship +of persons whose influence will have the effect to +elevate rather than to depress our own mental and +moral standard. Hence, young persons will be +most improved by the example of those whose +greater maturity of years and acquirement give +them the advantage of <i>experience</i>.</p> + +<p>Byron and others of the morbid school to which +he belonged, or rather, perhaps, which he originated, +strove to establish as a truth, the libellous +charge that humanity is incapable of true, disinterested +friendship. Happily for the dignity and +healthfulness of the youthful mind, this affected +misanthropy, having had its day, is dying the +natural death to which error is doomed, and we +are again permitted to respect our common nature +without wholly renouncing our claims to poetic +sensibility!</p> + +<p>It seems, to my poor perceptions, that there needs +no better test of the capacities of our fellow-creatures, +with regard to the nobler sentiments, than +<i>our own self-consciousness</i>! If we know ourselves +capable of lofty aspirations, of self-sacrifice for +others' good, of rejoicing in the happiness of our +friends, of deep, enduring affection for them, by +what arrogant right shall we assume ourselves +superior to the race to which we belong?</p> + +<p>As the man who habitually rails at the gentler +sex must, necessarily, have been peculiarly unfortunate +in his <i>earliest associations</i> with woman, so he<a name="Page_449" id="Page_449"></a> +who professes a disbelief in true friendship, may be +presumed, not only to have chosen his associates +unwisely, but to be himself ill-constituted and +ill-disciplined. If</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">——"<span class="smcap">Virtue</span> is more than a shade or a sound,<br></span> +<span class="i2">And man may her voice, in this being, obey,"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">then is friendship one of the purest and highest +sources of human enjoyment!</p> + +<p>Eschew, then, the debasing, soul-restraining maxims +of Byron, Rochefoucauld, and their imitators, +and seek in communion with the gifted and the +good, elevated enjoyment and inspiring incentives +to noble purposes and manly achievements.</p> + +<p>But if the old Spanish proverb, "<i>Show me your +friends and I will tell you what you are</i>," is +applicable to the selection of ordinary associates, of +how much more significance is it in relation to +<i>confidants</i>! To require such a friend, pre-supposes +the need of <i>advice</i>, and only superiority in age and +knowledge of the world and of the human heart, +can qualify any one for the responsibility thus +assumed. Nothing is more frequently volunteered +by the inexperienced than advice, while <i>they who +properly appreciate its importance are the least +likely to give it unasked</i>.</p> + +<p>In connection with the subject of confidences and +confidants, ponder well the concentrated wisdom +contained in this brief sentence: "Be careful <i>of +whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and +when, and where</i>."</p> + +<p>If from self-consciousness we draw conclusive<a name="Page_450" id="Page_450"></a> +proofs of the elevated powers of our nature, we also +learn, with equal certainty, the need that all have +of forbearance, lenity, and forgiveness. They who +look for <i>perfection</i> in human companions, will entail +upon themselves a life-long solitude of spirit. Some +one has prettily said that the fault of a friend is like +a flaw in a beautiful china vase; the defect is remediless; +let us overlook it, and dwell only upon what +will give us pleasure.</p> + +<p>It is almost useless to attempt to give you any +advice with respect to the choice of an occupation in +life. I trust, however, that you need no argument to +convince you that respectability and happiness unitedly +require, let your pecuniary circumstances be +what they may, that you should have such an incentive +to the due exercise of your powers of body +and mind.</p> + +<p>No consideration is, perhaps, more important than +that of <i>following the natural inclination</i> in making +this decision, provided outward circumstances render +it possible to do so; and in this country a man +may almost always overcome obstacles of this kind, +by patient perseverance.</p> + +<p>The impression, formerly so prevalent, that none +but the three learned professions, as they are called, +require a thorough education, as a prelude, is, I must +believe, much less generally entertained, than when +I was a young man. And this is as it should <a name="tn_png_450"></a><!--TN: Period added after "be"-->be. +There can be no human employment that is not facilitated +by the aid of a cultivated, disciplined intellect, +and our young countrymen, who so frequently +make some temporary and lucrative occupation the<a name="Page_451" id="Page_451"></a> +stepping-stone to advancement, should always bear +this in mind. One day, America, like Venice of +old, will be a land of merchant princes—but none +will take rank among these self-elevated patricians +but they who add the polish, the refinement and the +wealth of intellect, to the power derived from external +circumstances.</p> + +<p>The <i>Physical Sciences</i> and the <i>Inventive</i> and <i>Practical +Arts</i> are claiming the attention of our times to +a degree never before known; and these afford new +and sufficient avenues for the exercise of talents tending +rather to mechanical than to metaphysical exertion.</p> + +<p>Remember, always, that a man may give dignity +to any honest employment to which he shall devote +his energies—and better so, than to possess no claims +to respect except those bestowed by position. As +the pursuit of wealth as an end, rather than a means, +is not the noblest of human purposes, so mere occupation +and external belongings do not determine the +real worth of mind or character.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"I am brother to the <i>Worker</i>,<br></span> +<span class="i2">And I love his manly look,<br></span> +<span class="i0">As I love a thought of beauty,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Living, star-like, in a book.<br></span> +<span class="i0">I am brother to the humblest,<br></span> +<span class="i2">In the world's red-handed strife,—<br></span> +<span class="i0">Those who wield the sword of labor,<br></span> +<span class="i2">In the battle ranks of life!<br></span> +<span class="i0"> * * * * *<br></span> +<span class="i0"> * * * * *<br></span> +<span class="i0">Never let the worker falter,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Nor his cause—for hope is strong;<a name="Page_452" id="Page_452"></a><br></span> +<span class="i0">He shall live a monarch glorious<br></span> +<span class="i2">In the people's coming throng.<br></span> +<span class="i0">There's a sound comes from the future,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Like the sound of many lays;<br></span> +<span class="i0"><span class="smcap">Freedom</span> <i>strikes her harp for toilers</i>,<br></span> +<span class="i2">Loud as when the thunder plays!"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>While on this subject, permit me to call your +attention to a matter which, though of minor importance, +is not unworthy of consideration. Men with +but little knowledge of the world are apt to <i>betray +their occupation by their manner and conversation—to +smell of the shop</i>, as it is often, somewhat coarsely, +expressed. Thus, an <i>artist</i> will talk habitually of +such matters as arrest the peculiar perceptions he +has quickened into acuteness by culture, and even +use the technicalities of language which, though +familiar to him, may be, and probably are, unintelligible +to persons of general cultivation only. A +<i>physician</i> will sometimes go about with a heavy, +ivory-headed cane, and a grand, pompous look, +which may, perchance, be <i>professional</i>, but it is not +the less absurd, unless as a means of impressing the +vulgar; and he often falls into the impression that +any sacrifice to the Graces, or any regard for the +weaknesses of humanity, when in a sick-room, are +entirely beneath his dignity. <i>Lawyers</i> will use +Latin phrases, and legal technicalities, in the society +of ladies, and the <i>gentlemen of the black cloth</i> +not only carry the pulpit into the drawing-room, but +permit themselves to be lionized by devout old women, +and sentimental young ones, into the best seat +in an apartment, or a carriage, the tit-bits at table,<a name="Page_453" id="Page_453"></a> +and a sum-total of mawkish man-worship. As I +have said, all this savors of <i>ignorance of the world</i>, +as it does of latent egotism, and deficient self-respect. +Note, therefore, the probable effects—when unrestrained +by self-scrutiny—of <i>moving in a limited +sphere of action</i>, and always bear in mind that your +individual occupations and interests, though of great +personal importance, are comparatively insignificant +in the consideration of others; that you yourself +make, when viewed from a general stand-point, but +<i>a single unit</i> of the great mass to whom your interests, +purposes, and merits, are matters alike of profound +indifference and unquestioning ignorance.</p> + +<p>"No man," says Jean Paul, <i>the only one</i>, as the +Germans call him, "can live piously or die righteously +without a wife;" and one of the most celebrated +observers of human nature among our own countrymen, +has bequeathed us the recorded opinion that +an early marriage with an amiable and virtuous woman +is, next to a firm religious faith, the best safeguard +to the happiness and principles of a young +man.</p> + +<p>In our prosperous land, where the means of living +are diversified almost equally with the necessities of +life, it is far less hazardous to assume the responsibilities +arising from early marriage, than in other +countries. Everything is, in a certain sense, precocious +here. Extreme youth is no barrier to independence +of effort and position—none to self-reliance +and success. It may be questioned whether the tax +thus prematurely imposed upon the intellect, as well +as the physique, does not, in some degree, tend, not<a name="Page_454" id="Page_454"></a> +only to eventual mediocrity of power, but to quickened +diminution of the vital energies.</p> + +<p>Hence it is, doubtless, well to adopt the <i>golden +mean</i> in regard to every important step in life. And +though I would by no means counsel you not to +marry until you have accumulated a fortune, I would +strenuously advise you to possess yourselves of something +like a prospective certainty of maintenance, +and of sound knowledge of human nature and of +<i>yourself</i>, before so far committing your future happiness.</p> + +<p>One prominent cause of the multitude of unhappy +unions, I am persuaded, is the ignorance of their +own true characters with which young persons are +so frequently united. Wholly immature in body +and mind, when they commence married life, as they +develop, under the influence of time and circumstance, +they awaken to the discovery of an irreconcilable +difference, not only in taste, sentiment, and +opinion, but, what is worse, in principle. This is +one extreme. On the contrary, the marriage of persons +of decided character, before habit has rendered +it difficult to mould themselves into conformity with +the peculiarities from which none are exempt, is desirable. +The sooner those who are to tread the path +of life side by side, learn the assimilation that shall +render the way smoother and easier to both, the +greater will be their share of earthly contentment; +and this will be most readily achieved, no doubt, +while youthful pliancy and adaptability still exist.</p> + +<p>Every discriminating, self-informed man, should +be the best judge of the essential requisites for<a name="Page_455" id="Page_455"></a> +domestic happiness, in his individual case. Such an +one will not need to be reminded that all abstract or +generally-applicable rules must needs be modified, in +many instances, for personal usefulness. But no one +will question the desirableness of <i>health</i>, <i>good temper</i>, +and <i>education</i>, in the companion of domestic life.</p> + +<p>By education, I do not mean an acquaintance with +all, or even with any one, of what are termed <i>accomplishments</i>. +A woman may be well-informed, and +self-disciplined, to a degree that will render her an +admirable wife for a man of sense, without being +able to speak any but her vernacular tongue, or play +upon any instrument, save that <i>harp of a thousand +strings—the Human Heart</i>!</p> + +<p>Do not understand me as undervaluing the graceful +embellishments of social and domestic life, as +presented by the lovelier part of creation. I wish +only to express, in my plain, blunt way, the conviction +that the most elegant and varied accomplishments +are a very poor equivalent for <i>poverty of the +head and heart</i>, in the woman who is to become the +friend and counsellor to whom you will look for +enduring, discriminating affection and sympathy, as +well when the trials, the cares, and the sorrows of +mortal existence shall lower heavily over you, as +while you mutually dance along amid the flowers +and the sunshine of youth.</p> + +<p>A career of fashionable idleness, irresponsibility, +and dissipation, is not a desirable prelude to the systematic +routine of quiet duties essential to the home-happiness +of a man of moderate resources and<a name="Page_456" id="Page_456"></a> +retired habits. It may be questioned whether a +woman who has been long accustomed to the adulation +and the excitement of a crowd, will be content +to find enjoyment, sufficient and enduring, in the +simple pleasures which alone will be at her command, +thus circumstanced.</p> + +<p>But, while even the incentives afforded by all the +affection of which such an ephemeral being is +capable, will render conformity to this new position +difficult of attainment, she who is early accustomed +to look thoughtfully upon life as beautiful and +bright indeed, but as involving serious responsibilities +and solemn obligations, will bring to a union +with one of similar perceptions and principles, a +sense of right and duty, which, if strengthened by a +commingling of hearts, will make it no discouraging +task to her to <i>begin with her husband where he +begins</i>. Such an one will be content to tread on at +an even pace beside him, through the roughness that +may beset his progress, cheerfully encountering +obstacles, resolute to conquer or endure, as the case +may be; and ever fully imbued with that patient, +hopeful, loving spirit, whose motto is "bear one +another's burdens."</p> + +<p>You will think it more consistent with the caution +of an old man, than the ardor natural to a young one, +that I should advise you to pay proper respect to +the claims of the relations or guardians of any lady +to whom you wish to pay your addresses. I will, +nevertheless, venture to assert that, for many reasons, +you will, in after life, have reason to congratulate<a name="Page_457" id="Page_457"></a> +yourself upon pursuing a manly, open, honorable +course in relation to every feature of this important +era in your career.</p> + +<p>A friendship with a woman considerably older +than himself (if she be married, it will be all the better) +and especially if he have not older sisters, or is +separated from them, is of incalculable advantage to +a young man, when based upon true principles of +thought and action,—not only in relation to subjects +especially pertaining to affairs of the heart, but +respecting a thousand nameless practical matters, as +well as of mental culture, taste, sentiment, and conventional +proprieties. Such a female friend—matured +by the advantages of nature and circumstances—will +secure you present enjoyment of an elevated +character, together with constant benefit and improvement, +and expect from you, in return for the +great good she renders you, only those graceful courtesies +and attentions which a man of true good-breeding +always regards as equally obligatory and agreeable.</p> + +<p>Let there be, however, a certain <i>gravity</i> mingled +with the manifestations of regard you exhibit +towards all married women, the dominance of <i>respect</i> +in your manner towards them, and never permit any +consideration to induce you to forget the established +right of every husband to sanction or not, at his +pleasure, the most abstractly unexceptionable friendship +between his wife and another man.</p> + +<p>Every man with a nice sense of honor, will indicate, +by his prevailing bearing and language towards<a name="Page_458" id="Page_458"></a> +women a <i>felt</i> distinction between the intentions of +friendship, and those of a suitor or lover. And while +he observes towards all women, and under all circumstances, +the respectful courtesy due to them, he +will not hesitate to make his purpose intelligible, +<i>where he has conceived sufficient esteem to engender +matrimonial intentions</i>. Proper self-respect, as well +as the consideration due to a lady and her friends, +demands this.</p> + +<p>I repeat, that no degree of devotion to one, +excuses incivility to other female acquaintances in +society; and I will add that the most acceptable +attentions to a woman of sense and delicacy, are +not those that render her generally conspicuous, but +such as express an ever-present remembrance of +her comfort and a quick discernment of her real +feelings and wishes.</p> + +<p>So in the matter of presents, and similar expressions +of politeness, good taste will dictate no lavish +expenditure, unwarranted by pecuniary resources, +and inconsistent with the general surroundings of +either party, but rather a prevailing harmony that +will be really a juster tribute to the object of your +regard, as well as a more creditable proof of your +own tact and judgment. All compliments, whether +thus expressed, or by word of mouth, should be +characterized by delicate discrimination and punctilious +respect. It is said that women judge of +character by details: certain it is that what may +seem trifles to us, often sensibly influence their +opinions of men. Their perceptions are so keen,<a name="Page_459" id="Page_459"></a> +their sensibilities so acute, in comparison with ours, +that we would err materially in estimating them by +the same gauge we apply to each other, and thus +the mysteries of the female heart will always remain +in a degree insoluble, even to the acutest masculine +penetration.</p> + +<p>But though the nicest shades of sentiment and +feeling may escape our coarser perceptions, we need +no unusual discernment to perceive the effects of +kindness, gentleness, and forbearance in our domestic +relations. "I cannot much esteem the man," +Rowland Hill remarked, "whose wife, children, and +servants, and even the cat and dog, are not sensibly +happier for his presence." Depend upon it, no +fabled Genii could confer on you a talisman so +effective as the power bestowed by the enshrinement +in your heart of the <i>Law of Kindness</i>. In proportion +to the delicacy of woman's organization is her susceptibility +to such influence, and he who carelessly +outrages the exquisite sensibilities that make the +peculiar charm of her nature, will too often learn, +when the lesson brings with it only the bitterness +of experience,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i8">——"how light a cause<br></span> +<span class="i0">May move dissension between hearts that love."<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p class="continue">Shun, then, as you would the introduction into your +physical system of an insidious but irradicable +poison,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"<i>The first slight swerving of the heart,</i><br></span> +<span class="i0"><i>That words are powerless to express!</i>"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>But while you seek to illustrate your constant<a name="Page_460" id="Page_460"></a> +remembrance that you have, by the act of marriage, +"bound yourself to be good-humored, affable, discreet, +forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to +frailties and imperfections to the end of life," bear in +mind, also, that your influence over another imposes +duties of various kinds upon you, and that you +should use that influence with far-sighted wisdom, +to produce the greatest ultimate good. Thus you +will be convinced that it is the truest kindness to +minister to the <i>intellect</i> and the <i>affections</i> of woman, +rather than to her vanity, and that in proportion as +you assist her to exalt her <i>higher nature</i> into +dominance, will you be rewarded by a spirit-union +commensurate to the most exalted necessities of +your own.</p> + +<p>I have known men, in my time, who seemed to +have a fixed belief that all manifestations of the +gentler instincts of humanity are unworthy of the +dignity of manhood, and who, by habitually repressing +all exhibitions of natural emotion, had apparently +succeeded in steeling their hearts, as well +against all softening external impressions as to the +inspiration of the "still, sad music of" their better +selves. All elevated emotions, whether of an +affectionate or religious character, are too sacred for +general observance: "When thou prayest, enter into +thy closet and <i>shut the door</i>," was the direction of +our great Teacher, and so with the <i>religion of the +heart</i> (if you will permit me the phrase), it would +be desecrated, were it possible—which from its very +nature it is not—to parade its outward tokens to +indifferent eyes. And yet I return to a prior <a name="tn_png_460"></a><!--TN: "stand point" changed to "stand-point"-->stand-<a name="Page_461" id="Page_461"></a>point +and insist that there is a middle-ground, even +here, the <i>juste milieu</i>, as the French say.—<i>Apropos</i>—the +ancient Romans used the same word to designate +<i>family affection</i> and <i>piety</i>.</p> + +<p>Intimately connected with the happiness of domestic +life is the due consideration of <i>pecuniary affairs</i>.</p> + +<p>But, before we proceed to their discussion, let me, +as long a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the +varying phases of social life, in our own country +especially, enter my earnest protest against the practice +so commonly adopted by newly-married persons, +of <i>boarding</i>, in place of at once establishing for +themselves the distinctive and ennobling prerogatives +of <span class="smcap">home</span>. Language and time would alike fail +me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils +inevitably growing out of this fashionable system. +Take the advice of an old man, who has tested theories +by prolonged experience, and at once establish +your <i>Penates</i> within four walls, and under a roof +that will, at times, exclude all who are not properly +denizens of your household, upon assuming the +rights and obligations of married life. Do not be +deterred from this step by the conviction that you +cannot shrine your home-deities upon pedestals of +marble. <i>Cover their bases with flowers</i>—God's free +gift to all—and the plainest support will suffice for +them, if it be but <i>firm</i>.</p> + +<p>With right views of the true aims and enjoyments +of life, it will be no impossible achievement to establish +your household appointments within the limits +of your income, whatever that may be, and to entertain +the conviction that the duty of providing for<a name="Page_462" id="Page_462"></a> +possible, if not probable, future contingencies, is imperative +with those who have assumed conjugal and +paternal responsibilities.</p> + +<p>Firm adherence to such a system of living will +bring with it a thousand collateral pleasures and +privileges, and secure the only true independence. +Nothing is more unworthy than the sacrifice of +genuine hospitality, taste, and refinement, to the +requisitions of mere fashion, in such arrangements; +no thraldom so degrading as that imposed by the +union of poverty and false pride. What latent egotism, +too, in the pre-supposed idea that the world at +large takes careful cognizance of the individualizing +specialities of any man, save when he trenches on +the reserved rights of others.</p> + +<p>True self-respect, then, as well as enlarged perceptions +of real life, will dictate a judicious adjustment +of means to desired results, and teach the willing +adoption of safe moderation in all.</p> + +<p>Happily, <i>comfort</i> and <i>refinement</i> may be secured +without ruinous expenditure, even by the most modest +beginners in housekeeping. Industry, ingenuity +and taste, will lend embellishment to the simplest +home, and the young, at least, can well afford to dispense +with enervating luxury and pretentious display.</p> + +<p>With due deference to individual taste, I would +commend the cultivation and gratification of a <i>love +of books and works of art</i>, in preference to the purchase +of costly furniture, mirrors, and the like. +Fine prints (which are preferable to indifferent paintings) +are now within obtainable reach, by many who<a name="Page_463" id="Page_463"></a> +permit themselves few indulgences, comparatively, +and everything having a tendency to foster the +æsthetical perceptions and enjoyments of children, +and to exalt these gratifications into habitual supremacy +over the grosser pleasures of sense, or the exhibitions +of vanity, is worthy of regard. And as no +avoidable demands of the outer life should be permitted +to diminish the resources of either the heart +or the mind, well-selected <i>books</i> will take high rank +among the belongings of a well-appointed house.</p> + +<p>To sum up all, my dear friends, if you aim at +rational happiness, let there be what is artistically +termed <i>keeping</i> in your whole system of life. Let +your style of dress, your mode of housekeeping, and +entertaining, your relaxations, amusements, occupations, +and resources, be harmoniously combined.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>"Where and how is the most charming of Jewesses?" +I asked one morning of an old friend, upon +whom I had been making an unreasonably early call, +rising to go.</p> + +<p>"Here, sir, and very well," responded a cheerful +voice from an adjoining room. "Will you not come +in a moment?"</p> + +<p>The smiling "home-mother" opened wide the half-open +door through which my queries had been answered, +and seconded her daughter's invitation.</p> + +<p>There sat my fair young friend, with a small table +before her, covered with sewing materials, and a +huge overcoat upon her lap. She was in a simple,<a name="Page_464" id="Page_464"></a> +neat morning-dress, and plying the needle with great +industry. She apologized for not rising to receive +me, but not for continuing her occupation after I +seated myself.</p> + +<p>"As busily engaged as ever, I see," said I.</p> + +<p>"Rather more so than usual, just now. Fred has +come home in a very dilapidated condition."</p> + +<p>"And you are repairing him. But what are you +doing with that huge, bearish-looking coat? It's as +much as you can do to lift it, I should judge."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I've been putting in new front-facings and +sleeve-linings, and fixing it up a little," returned +she. "But, Colonel, do tell me, have you read Macaulay's +second volume?"</p> + +<p>I replied that I had dipped into it, and added: +"But, before we discuss Macaulay, I want you to +tell me how you learned to be so accomplished a tailoress?"</p> + +<p>"Rebecca can do anything she wishes," said her +mother, in a soft, gentle voice, "<i>the heart is a +good teacher</i>."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, mother," rejoined the sweet girl, +"Colonel Lunettes will make allowance for your +natural partiality."</p> + +<p>"I would, were it necessary, my dear," I answered, +"but I can decide for myself in your case."</p> + +<p>A bow, a blush, and a pleasant laugh responded, +and, rising, she deposited the heavy garment she +had been repairing, upon the arm of a chair, and +immediately reseating herself, placed a large basket +full of woollen stockings, at her side, threaded a stout +alderman-like-looking darning needle with thick<a name="Page_465" id="Page_465"></a> +yarn, and began to mend a formidable hole in one +of the socks. Her brother is an engineer, and I +divined at a glance, that those strong, warm things +were, like the blanket-coat, part of his outfit for a +campaign in the swamps.</p> + +<p>"I am delighted with Macaulay's elaborate +sketches of individuals," resumed the busy seamstress, +drawing out her long needle and thread, and +returning it with the speed and accuracy of nicely-adjusted +machinery; "do you recollect his portraiture +of the <i>Trimmer</i>?"</p> + +<p>"It is very fine," I answered, like everything else +Macaulay has written. "Nothing, however, has +impressed me more, thus far, in his history, than his +description of the condition of the clergy of the Established +Church, in the rural districts, during the +reign of James, and later even."</p> + +<p>"I, too, was exceedingly interested in it," replied +Rebecca. "And the more, that I was reminded of +the fate of the <i>daughters</i> of English country curates, +even at this day; of 'gentle blude,' many times, born +and educated ladies, they are subjected, frequently, +through life, to toil and suffering that would excuse +their envying the fate of a mere kitchen-drudge!"</p> + +<p>"They are, usually, governesses for life, and never +marry," continued I.</p> + +<p>"Never marry—though they are so educated and +disciplined, as to be peculiarly well-fitted for the +fulfillment of woman's dearest and highest destiny! +Thank God! I was born where such social thraldom, +such hateful monstrosities, are not!" And the face<a name="Page_466" id="Page_466"></a> +that turned its glance upward, for an instant, with +those last fervent words, was overspread with a glow +bright as the crimson hue of sunset.</p> + +<p>But, though my friend Rebecca, was the last +woman in the world to</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Die of a rose, in aromatic pain,"</p> + +<p class="continue">she was a perfect Sybarite, in some respects, as I will +convince you.</p> + +<p>Entering her mother's tasteful, pretty drawing-room, +a few evenings after this conversation, I found +the charming "Jewess," as I sometimes called her, +in allusion to Scott's celebrated heroine, reading by +the light of an astral lamp. She was elegantly, and, +I suppose fashionably, dressed, and reclining in a +large, luxurious-looking, stuffed chair, with her +daintily-slippered feet, half buried in a soft crimson +cushion. In short, she was the very impersonation +of the "unbought grace" of one of Nature's queens. +Had I been younger, by some fifty years, I should +have been tempted, beyond a doubt, to do oriental +homage to so much loveliness.</p> + +<p>"By the way, Rebecca," said I, after a few minutes' +chat with my hostess, "I must tell you of a +witticism you elicited, this morning, from one of +your admirers!"</p> + +<p>"One of my admirers! Who, pray?"</p> + +<p>"Guess! Well, I won't tantalize you!—Howard +Parker!"</p> + +<p>"You tell me something, Colonel! I am not entitled +to enter Mr. Parker on my list of <a name="tn_png_466"></a><!--TN: Period added after "friends"-->friends."<a name="Page_467" id="Page_467"></a></p> + +<p>"What, what! that to me, my dear? I have a +great mind to punish you, by not telling you what +he said."</p> + +<p>"As you please, Colonel Lunettes!" with a coquettish +toss of her long ringlets.</p> + +<p>"Please, tell <i>me</i>, Colonel!" interposed her mother, +smilingly; "don't mind Rebecca's nonsense—tell +me!"</p> + +<p>"In a whisper?" I inquired, laughing, and <a name="tn_png_467"></a><!--TN: "glancind" changed to "glancing"-->glancing +at the "Jewess." "I hardly dare to venture +that! Well! meeting Howard, who is a great favorite +of mine, in the street, this morning, he told me +he was coming here, to call. 'Steel your heart, +then,' said I—'Or <i>she will steal it</i>!' he answered, as +quick as thought."</p> + +<p>"Quite a <i>jeu d'esprit</i>!" exclaimed Rebecca, +laughing gaily. "But, Colonel, Mr. Parker may be +witty, accomplished, and intellectual, but he is <i>not a +gentleman</i>!"</p> + +<p>"My daughter, you are severe," said her mother, +deprecatingly.</p> + +<p>"I don't mean to be, mother; but"—</p> + +<p>"From what do you draw such a sweeping inference, +my child?" I inquired.</p> + +<p>"From <i>trifles</i>, dear sir, I admit; but</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">——'trifles make the sum of human things!'</p> + +<p class="continue">and slight peculiarities often indicate character. +For instance, Mr. Parker keeps his hat on, when he +is talking to ladies, and neglects his teeth and hair—you +needn't laugh, mamma! Yesterday morning, +he joined me in the street, and came home with me,<a name="Page_468" id="Page_468"></a> +or, nearly home; for he stopped short, a little way +from the house, let me cross a great mud-puddle, as +well as I could, alone, and open the gate for myself, +though I had my hands full of things. It's true, he +had the grace to color a little, when I said, significantly, +as he bade me good morning, that I was glad +I had crossed the Slough of Despond, without accident."</p> + +<p>"That showed that a sensible woman could correct +his faults," I remarked.</p> + +<p>"I don't know about that," replied my hostess. +"Such things, as Rebecca says, <i>indicate character</i>; +and I would not advise any young lady to marry a +man, with the expectation of reforming him."</p> + +<p>"Not of a cardinal vice, certainly," said I; "but +there are"—</p> + +<p>Here a servant interrupted me with—"Mr. Parker's +compliments, Miss," and offered my fastidious +young friend a large parcel, wrapped in a wet, soiled +newspaper, and tied with dirty red tape.</p> + +<p>"Ugh!" exclaimed the Sybarite, recoiling, with +unrepressed disgust. "What is it, Betty? It can't +be for me!"</p> + +<p>"It <i>is</i>, Miss, an' no mistake—the boy said it got +wet in the rain, widout, as he was bringing it, an' +no umberrellar wid him."</p> + +<p>"Will you just take it into the hall, and take off +the paper, Biddy? Be careful not to let it get +dirty and wet, inside, will you?"—With studied +<i>nonchalance</i>.</p> + +<p>Presently Biddy laid down a large, handsomely- +bound volume, and a note, before the young <a name="tn_png_468"></a><!--TN: Period added after "lady"-->lady.<a name="Page_469" id="Page_469"></a></p> + +<p>"It is a copy of Macaulay's 'Lays of Ancient +Rome,'" said she, skimming over the note. "Mr. +Parker was alluding to some passage in one of the +poems, this morning. He says I will find it marked +and begs me to accept the book, as a philopœna—oh, +here are the lines—I thought them very fine as he +recited them. Shall I read them, mamma? And +you, sir, will you hear them?"</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="ia">"'Then none was for a party;<br></span> +<span class="i2">Then all were for the state;<br></span> +<span class="i0">Then the great man helped the poor,<br></span> +<span class="i2">And the poor man loved the great;<br></span> +<span class="i0">Then lands were fairly portioned;<br></span> +<span class="i2">Then spoils were fairly sold:<br></span> +<span class="i0">The Romans were like brothers,<br></span> +<span class="i2">In the brave days of old.'"<br></span> +</div></div> + +<p>The enthusiasm with which the appreciating +reader read this spirited passage, did not prevent my +observing that she held her handkerchief closely +pressed upon the back of the exquisite antique binding +of the volume, in the hope, as I inferred, of drying +the stain of wet which I noticed, at once attracted +her attention when she took up the gift. The +open note, as it lay upon the table, disclosed a torn, +ragged edge, as if it had been carelessly severed +from a sheet of foolscap.</p> + +<p>Whatever her reflections, the young lady had too +much instinctive delicacy to comment upon these +peccadilloes, and so, of course, I could institute no +defense of my friend. I, therefore, <i>tacked</i>, as a +sailor would say.<a name="Page_470" id="Page_470"></a></p> + +<p>"Howard's a noble fellow," said I, "in spite of +his little oddities, but he has one fault, unfortunately, +which I fear will prevent his winning much favor +with the ladies."</p> + +<p>"What is that?" inquired my young auditor, in a +tone of seeming indifference, but with a heightened +color, and an eager glance.</p> + +<p>"He is <i>poor</i>!"</p> + +<p>"Do you mean that he <i>lives by his wits</i>, as the +phrase is?" asked my hostess.</p> + +<p>"By no means! simply this:—Parker began the +world without a dollar, and has had, thus far, to +'paddle his own canoe,' as he expresses it, against +wind and tide."</p> + +<p>"That is quite the best thing I ever knew of +him!" exclaimed Rebecca, with <a name="tn_png_470"></a><!--TN: Comma changed to a period after "animation"-->animation. "It does +him great credit, in my estimation! But, Colonel, I +cannot agree with you in thinking Mr. Parker, +<i>poor</i>!"</p> + +<p>"No?"</p> + +<p>"No, indeed! in my regard, <i>no man in our country +is poor, who possesses health, education, and an +unblemished reputation</i>!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>In the library of the only representative of the +British government in this country—and he was the +lineal representative, as well, of one of the oldest, +wealthiest and most aristocratic of noble English +families—whose guest I remember to have been, I +found great numbers of books, which he had brought<a name="Page_471" id="Page_471"></a> +with him from home, but they were arranged upon +simple, unpainted pine shelves, put up for convenience, +while the owner should remain at Washington. +He brought his books, because he wanted +them for constant use—but, though accustomed to +the utmost luxuriousness of appointment at home, +he did not dream of bringing furniture across the +Atlantic, or of apologizing for the absence of more +than was demanded by necessity in his temporary +residence.</p> + +<p>I remember, too, to have heard it said that one of +the recent governors of the Empire State had not a +single article of mahogany furniture in his house at +Albany; and yet, nobody complained of any want +of hospitality or courtesy on his part, while making +this discovery. The simple fact was, that, being +without private fortune, and the salary of his office +insufficient for such expenditures, <i>he could not afford +it</i>—and no man, I believe, is bound to run in debt, +to gratify either the expectations or the vanity of +his political constituents.</p> + +<p>As a contrast to these anecdotes, how does the +following incident impress you?</p> + +<p>Walking down Broadway, in New York, one +bright morning with a distinguished American +statesman, he suddenly came to a full halt before +a show-window in which glittered, among minor +matters, a superb <i>candelabra</i>, in all the glory of +gilding and pendants.</p> + +<p>"That's a very handsome affair, Lunettes," said +my companion; "let us step in here a moment."<a name="Page_472" id="Page_472"></a></p> + +<p>We entered accordingly. A salesman came forward.</p> + +<p>"What is the price of that candelabra, in the +window?" inquired the statesman.</p> + +<p>"Six hundred dollars," replied the young man.</p> + +<p>"Pack it up and send it to M——," replied my +friend, turning to go.</p> + +<p>"And the bill, sir?"</p> + +<p>"You may send the bill to me—to D—— W——, +at Washington."</p> + +<p>I happened to know that the great man had, only +within a day or two, been released, by the generosity +of several of his personal friends, from an embargo +upon his movements that would otherwise +have prevented his eloquent thunder from being +heard in the National Senate!</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>The massive head and stately bearing of John +Marshall always rise before my mind's eye, when I +recall this characteristic illustration of his native +manliness:</p> + +<p>The Chief Justice was in the habit of going to +market himself, and carrying home his purchases. +He might frequently be seen at sunrise, with poultry +in one hand and vegetables in the other.</p> + +<p>On one of these occasions, a young Northerner, +who had recently removed to Richmond, and thus +become a fellow-townsman of the great Virginian, +was heard loudly complaining that no one could be +found to carry home his turkey.<a name="Page_473" id="Page_473"></a></p> + +<p>The Chief Justice, who was unknown to the new-comer, +advancing, inquired where the stranger lived +and on being informed, said, very quietly—"That is +on my way; I will take it for you;" and receiving +the turkey, walked briskly away.</p> + +<p>When he reached the house that had been designated, +Marshall awaited the arrival of the owner, and +delivered up his burden.</p> + +<p>"What shall I pay you?" inquired the youth.</p> + +<p>"Nothing, whatever," replied the biographer of +Washington, "it was all in my way, and not the +slightest trouble—you are welcome;" and he pursued +his course.</p> + +<p>"Who is that polite old man?" asked the young +stranger of a by-stander.</p> + +<p>He was answered—"<i>That is John Marshall, +Chief Justice of the United States.</i>"</p> + +<p>I well remember, too, how often I used to join my +old friend, Chief Justice Spencer, of New York, as +he climbed the long hill leading to his residence, at +Albany, with a load of poultry in his hand. And I +dare say his great-hearted brother-in-law, De Witt +Clinton, often did the same thing. Certain I am, +that he was the most unostentatious of human beings, +as simple and natural as a boy, to the end of his +days.</p> + +<hr style="width: 25%;"> + +<p>I have the vanity to believe that you will not have +forgotten the little sketch I gave you, in a previous +letter, of my interesting young friend Julia Peters. +Not long after my brief acquaintance with her—that<a name="Page_474" id="Page_474"></a> +is, within a year—I received a newspaper neatly +inclosed, and sealed with a fanciful device, in prettily-tinted +wax, which being interpreted for me by +a fair adept in such matters, was said to read—"Love, +or Cupid, carrying a budget to you from me." +The following paragraph was carefully marked:</p> + +<p class="blockquot">"<span class="smcap">MARRIED</span>:—In the Church of the Holy Innocents, +in this village, on Tuesday, May 12th, by the +Rev. B—— Y——, St. John Benton and Julia A. +Peters, daughter of the late Fitz-James Peters, Esq., +of Princeton, N. J."</p> + +<p><a name="tn_png_474"></a><!--TN: Extra space added before and after this paragraph--> +Then followed this sentence, in large characters:</p> + + +<p class="blockquot">"<span class="smcap">The Printer and the 'carrier' acknowledge +a bountiful receipt of superb wedding-cake.</span>- - - +<i>May every blessing attend the happy pair!</i>"</p> + +<p>I, too, had my share of the wedding-cake, accompanied +by very tasteful, simple cards, as well as a +previous invitation to the wedding, written jointly by +Mr. and Mrs. Y——, and in terms most flatteringly +cordial, and complimentary. Mrs. Y—— and I had, +by this time, exchanged letters more than once. I +will give you, as a specimen of the agreeable epistolary +style of my fair friend, the following communication, +which reached me some two or three +months after the marriage of her sister.</p> + +<div class="letter"> +<p style="font-size:.8em;text-align:right;">"<span class="smcap">Rectory</span>, ——, <i>Aug. 22d</i>, ——.</p> +<p class="smcap" style="text-indent:0em;">"Dear Col. Lunettes:—</p> + +<p class="firstpara">"I avail myself of my very first leisure +to comply with the request contained in your most +kind and acceptable letter of last week. Whether<a name="Page_475" id="Page_475"></a> +your amiable politeness does not overrate my capacity +to write a 'true woman's letter—full of little +significant details and particularities,' remains to be +seen. I will do my best, at least, and 'naught extenuate, +nor set down aught in malice.'</p> + +<p>"I hardly know where to begin, in answer to your +query about the 'possibility of the most economical +young people managing to live on so small an +income.' The truth is, Julia and I, thanks to a judicious +mother, were <i>practically educated</i>, which makes +all the difference in the world in a woman's capacity +to 'make the worse appear the better reason' in +matters of domestic management. The house they +live in is their own. Mr. Benton, fortunately, possessed +the means of fully paying for it (he was +entirely frank with Mr. Y—— about all these matters, +from the beginning) and Julia was able to furnish +it simply, though comfortably. It is a small +establishment, to be sure,—a little house and a little +garden, but it is <i>their own</i>, and that gives it a charm +which it would not otherwise possess. They feel that +they will have the benefit of such improvements as +they may make, and it is wonderful what an effect +this consciousness produces. The house was a plain, +bald-looking building enough, when <a name="tn_png_475"></a><!--TN: "Fitz James" changed to "Fitz-James"-->Fitz-James +bought it. Julia said it would be a bold poetic +license to call it <i>a cottage</i>!—but he has studied +architecture, at intervals, as he has had time, with a +view to future advancement, and so he devised, and +partly constructed, tasteful little ornaments to surmount +the windows, and a very pretty rustic porch +in front. The effect was really almost <a name="tn_png_475a"></a><!--TN: Period removed after "migical"-->magical<a name="Page_476" id="Page_476"></a> +when united with the soft, warm color that took the +place of the glaring white of which every one is becoming +so tired. It is quite picturesque, I assure +you, now. As a romantic young lady said of it—'it +is like the cottages we read of,—quite a picture-place.' +But, pretty and tasteful as it is <i>outside</i>, one +must become an inmate of Julia's little Eden, to +know half its claims to admiration. It is just the +neatest, snuggest, cosiest little nest (by the way they +call it '<i>Cosey Cottage</i>,' as you will please remember +when you write, dear sir) you can imagine. +There is nothing grand, or even elegant, perhaps, +but every part is thoroughly furnished for convenience +and comfort, and <i>everything corresponds</i>. It +is not like some city houses I have been in, where +everything was expended in glare and display in the +two parlors—'<i>un</i>wisely kept for show,' and up-stairs +and in the kitchen, the most scanty, comfortless +arrangements. Julia's carpets and curtains are quite +inexpensive, but the colors are well chosen for harmony +of effect. (Julia rather prides herself upon +having things <i>artistic</i>, as she expresses it, even to the +looping up of a curtain.) There is a sort of indescribable +<i>expression</i> about the little parlor, which, by +the way, they <i>really use</i>, daily—her friends say—'How +much this is like Julia!' Some of Julia's +crayon heads, and a sketch or two of Mr. <a name="tn_png_476"></a><!--TN: Period removed after "Benton's"-->Benton's +are hung in the different rooms, and they have contrived, +or rather imitated, (for I believe St. John said +it was a French idea) the prettiest little <i>brackets</i>, +which are disposed about the walls and corners of the +parlor. They are only rough things that her hus<a name="Page_477" id="Page_477"></a>band +makes up, covered by Julia, with some dark +material, and ornamented with fringe, costing almost +nothing, but so pretty in effect for supporting vases +of flowers or little figures, or something of that kind. +Then there is a tiny place, opening from the parlor, +dignified with the name of <i>library</i>, where Julia and +Benton 'draped,' and 'adjusted,' and re-draped, +and re-adjusted, to their infinite enjoyment and content, +and somewhat to <i>my amusement</i>, I will confess +to <i>you</i>, dear sir. Indeed they <i>trot in harness</i>, to +borrow one of St. John's phrases,—most thoroughly +<i>matched</i>, as well as <i>mated</i>, and go best together. +<i>They</i> think so, at least, I should infer, as they always +<i>are</i> together, if possible. Julia helps Benton in the +garden—holds the trees and shrubs while he places +them, and ties up the creeping-roses, and other +things he arranges over the porch, and around the +windows, and assists him with the lighter work of +manufacturing rustic seats and stands, and baskets +for the garden and summer-house; and Benton (who +has quite a set of tools) puts up shelves and various +contrivances of that sort, and <i>did</i> help to lay the carpets, +etc., Julia told me. Indeed, while I was with +them, Mr. Benton's daily life constantly reminded +me of the beautiful injunction—'Let every man +show, by his kind acts and good deeds, how much of +Heaven he has in him.'</p> + +<p>"But I only tire you, dear sir, by my poor attempts +to portray my sister's simple happiness—<i>you +must see it for yourself</i>! I make no apology for +the minuteness of my details,—if they seem puerile, +Colonel Lunettes has himself to thank for my frank<a name="Page_478" id="Page_478"></a>ness, +but I have yet to learn that my valued friend +says, or writes, what he does not mean.</p> + +<p>"I have left to the last—because so pleasant a +theme,—some reference to Julia's pride and delight +in your beautiful bridal-gift to her. She has, no +doubt, long since, written to thank you; but I cannot +deny myself the gratification of telling you how +much she values and enjoys it,—from my own observation. +It is really noticeable too, how exactly it +suits with all the other table appointments she has—(unless +perhaps it is a shade too handsome) only +another proof of Colonel Lunettes' fine taste! Mr. +Y——, to tease Julia, asked her one evening, +when she was indulging in a repetition of her usual +eulogy upon the gift and the giver, whether she +really meant to say that she <i>preferred</i> a china tea-pot, +sugar-bowl, and cream-cup, to silver ones. 'Indeed +I do,' said she, 'a silver tea-service for <i>me</i>, would +be "sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought!" It +would not suit my style at all.' Julia says she shall +never be perfectly happy until she makes tea for +Colonel Lunettes, from her beautiful china, and Mr. +Benton says Colonel Lunettes is the <i>only man in the +world of whom he is jealous</i>! Upon this, there +always follows a gentle (<i>very</i> gentle) twitching of +St. John's whiskers, of which, I will add, by way +of a description of the <i>personnel</i> of the young man, +he has a pair as black and curling as Mr. Y——'s,—indeed, +I must concede that Julia's husband is almost +as handsome as my own!</p> + +<p>"We are all eagerly anticipating the fulfillment +of your promise to visit our beautiful valley, while<a name="Page_479" id="Page_479"></a> +robed in the gorgeous hues of Autumn. Mr. Y—— +and I, are arranging everything with reference +to so agreeable an event;—'We will go there, or +see that,' we say, 'when Colonel Lunettes comes.' +Julia, too, is looking forward, with much pleasure, +to welcoming so coveted a guest. 'I hope we shall +be able to make the Colonel <i>comfortable</i>, in our +quiet way,' she always says, when speaking of your +promised visit; 'you, and Mr. Y——, are so used +to have the bishop, and other celebrities, that you +don't know anything about being nervous, at such +times; but poor me—just beginning, and such a +novice!' Upon this, her husband always appeals to +me, to say whether I have nicer things to eat, anywhere, +'even at home,' and whether any sensible +man could not content himself, even in such a 'little +box,' for a few days, at least; especially, when well +assured how happy and honored a certain young +lady will be, on the occasion. And I must say, for +Julia, that her versatile powers are fully illustrated +in her housekeeping. Mr. Y—— declares that nobody +<i>but</i> his wife can make such bread—a perfect +cure for dyspepsia! and, as for the pumpkin-pies!—well, +upon the whole, he has decided that we ought +to spend <i>Thanksgiving</i> at 'Cosey Cottage.'</p> + +<p>"I have omitted to mention that, at Julia's earnest +instance, we left her little namesake—'Colonel Lunettes' +pet,' as she delights to call herself—with her, +when we were there. I hardly knew how to give +her up, though but for a few weeks, even to her +aunt. Just before we came away, I said to her, 'I +hope Aunt Julia, and Uncle St. John, won't spoil<a name="Page_480" id="Page_480"></a> +you, my darling; your aunt has promised to scold +you, when you are naughty.' 'Oh, but 'ou see, +mamma, I don't never mean to <i>be</i> naughty,' she +answered, almost stopping my breath with her little +chubby arms clinging about my neck.</p> + +<p>"Persuaded, dear sir, that you will have 'supped +your full,' even to repletion, of a 'true woman's letter,' +I will only add to Mr. Y——'s kindest remembrances +and regards, the sincere assurance that I +am, as ever,</p> + + +<div class="closing"> +<span class="presignature2">"Your attached and grateful<br></span> +<span class="presignature3 smcap"><a name="tn_png_480a"></a><!--TN: Double quote added before "Cecilia"-->"Cecilia D. <a name="tn_png_480"></a><!--TN: Double quote removed after "Y——"-->Y——<br></span> +</div> + +<p class="smcap">"Col. Henry Lunettes."</p> +</div> + +<p>And now, my dear nephews, that the blessing of +Heaven may rest upon you, always, in</p> + +<p class="centerpoem">"Life's earnest toil and endeavor,"</p> +<p class="continue">is the affectionate and heartfelt prayer and farewell +of your</p> + +<div class="closing"> + +<span class="presignature3"><span class="smcap">Uncle Hal.</span><br></span> +</div> + +<p class="center" style="margin-top:2em;">THE END.</p> + + +<div style="border: dashed 1px;margin-left:10%;margin-right:10%;margin-top:2em;"> +<div style="margin-left:10%;margin-right:10%;"> +<h2 style="padding-top:.75em;">Transcriber's Note</h2> + +<p>Inconsistencies have been retained in formatting, spelling, hyphenation, +punctuation, and grammar, except +where indicated in the list below:</p> + +<div style="margin-left:5%;margin-right:5%;"> +<ul> +<li><a href="#tn_png_007">Period added after "sermon"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_010">"<span class="smcap">Paté</span>" changed to "<span +class="smcap">Pâté</span>"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_014">"Aquaintances" changed to "Acquaintances"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_15">Period changed to a comma after "Regard"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_15a">Period changed to a comma after "Tribute"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_016">Dash added after "etc."</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_018">Dash added after "Importance"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19">Period changed to a comma after "Society"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19a">Period changed to a comma after "Bouche"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19b">Period changed to a comma after "Relaxation"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19c">Period changed to a comma after "Remorse"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19d">Period changed to a comma after "Pathos"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19e">Period changed to a comma after "Wit"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19f">Period changed to a comma after "Drawing-room"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19g">Period changed to a comma after "Intellect"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19h">Comma moved from mid-line to immedately after "Discussion"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19i">Period changed to a comma after "Bagatelle"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19j">Period changed to a comma after "Epicureanism"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_19k">Period changed to a comma after "Sketch"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_021">"<span class="smcap">onathan</span>" changed to "<span class="smcap">Jonathan</span>"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_023">"compatable" changed to "compatible"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_045">"s" changed to "his"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_047">"eminated" changed to "emanated"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_053">Double quotes changed to single quotes around "Kossuth,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_062">"páté" changed to "pâté"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_066">"singlarly" changed to "singularly"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_078">"self control" changed to "self-control"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_086">Period added after "her"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_087">Quote added before "I"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_089">"Johnathan" changed to "Jonathan"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_089a">Single rather than double quotes used around "and here,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_090">Double quotes changed to single quotes before "I" and after "madame,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_090a">Double quotes changed to single quotes before "that" and after "you?"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_090b">Double quote added before "The"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90c">Double quote added before "Before"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90d">Double quote added before "The"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90e">Double quote added before "You" and double quotes before "You" and after "madame?" changed to single quotes</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90f">Double quote added before "And" and double quotes before "And" and after "com-for-ta-ble?" changed to single quotes</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90g">Double quote added before "No"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_90h">Double quote added before "Bien" and after "please!'" and spoken text placed within single quotes</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_105">Quote removed after "you?"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_114">"nur sery" changed to "nursery"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_117">Single quote added before "cause"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_120">Double quote added after "minister?'"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_120a">"dont" changed to "don't"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_123">"extertaining" changed to "entertaining"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_124">"primative" changed to "primitive"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_124a">Period added after "door"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_125">Single dot replaced by colon after "said"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_129">Period added after "process"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_139">"the the" changed to "the"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_139a">Quote removed after "morals!"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_140">"grooms man" changed to "groomsman"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_143">Quotation marks corrected to show single quotes for dialogue and double quotes at the start of paragraphs throughout the anecdote on pages 143 and 144</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_150">Double quote removed after "monument,'"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_150a">"asthetical" changed to "æsthetical"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_159">"n" changed to "in"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_182">Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_182a">Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_182b">Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and double quote added at start of paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_188">Comma removed after "said"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_188a">Single quote added after "chair,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_190">Double quote added before "Well"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_199">Double quote removed before "'All"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_200">Double quote changed to a single quote before "I"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_200a">Double quote changed to a single quote after "nursery-cry"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_200b">Double quote changed to a single quote before "my"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_200c">Double quote changed to a single quote after "to-night;"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_212">Period added after "rank"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_214">"achievments" changed to "achievements"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_215">Period added after "sensuality"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_220">"heath" changed to "health"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_225">Single quotes changed to double quotes around this quotation</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_229">Single quote removed before "A"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_236">"univeral" changed to "universal"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_238">"appearace" changed to "appearance"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_251">"Never sink" changed to "Neversink"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_252">Quote added after "daughter,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_253">Quote added after "Simpson,"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_257">"place" changed to "placed"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_262">Period added after "Mrs"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_263">"ceremoneous" changed to "ceremonious"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_264">"st." changed to "St."</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_267">""You are now my enemy, and I am" indented for ease of reading</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_270">Comma removed after "and"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_281">"Mis" changed to "Miss"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_282">"sol dier" changed to "soldier"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_287">Comma removed after "sketching"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_314">Double quote removed at end of paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_314a">Double quote added before "This"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_314b">Single quote changed to a double quote before "I"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_319">Comma removed before "us"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_325">"th" changed to "the"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_333">"strengthed" changed to "strengthened"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_334">"un comfortable" changed to "uncomfortable"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_339">Period added after "fatigue"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_361">"and-that" changed to "and that"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_364">"wan't" changed to "want"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_367">Quote removed before "Oh"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_368">Single quote changed to double quote after "them!"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_368a">"twitter ing" changed to "twittering"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_372">"to" added after "happened"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_375">Period added after "friend"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_379">Comma changed to a period after "us"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_387">"duced" changed to "deuced"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_395">"Kiss" changed to "Miss"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_403">Quote removed before "As"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_409">"pretiest" changed to "prettiest"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_414">"acknowleded" changed to "acknowledged"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_417">"a" added after "like"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_422">Single quote changed to a double quote at end of paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_422a">Period added after "Lunettes"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_423">"dessultory" changed to "desultory"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_424">"intelleclectual" changed to "intellectual"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_428">Period changed to comma after "Howard"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_434">"Educacation" changed to "Education"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_437">"de voted" changed to "devoted"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_442">"stationary" changed to "stationery"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_444">"inter posed" changed to "interposed"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_445">Period added after "months"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_450">Period added after "be"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_460">"stand point" changed to "stand-point"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_466">Period added after "friends"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_467">"glancind" changed to "glancing"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_468">Period added after "lady"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_470">Comma changed to a period after "animation"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_474">Extra space added before and after this paragraph</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_475">"Fitz James" changed to "Fitz-James"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_475a">Period removed after "migical"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_476">Period removed after "Benton's"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_480a">Double quote added before "Cecilia"</a></li> +<li><a href="#tn_png_480">Double quote removed after "Y----"</a></li> + +</ul> +</div> +</div> +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Gentleman's Guide to +Politeness and Fashion, by Henry Lunettes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE *** + +***** This file should be named 39005-h.htm or 39005-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/9/0/0/39005/ + +Produced by Julia Miller, Linda Hamilton, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy 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