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diff --git a/38292-h/38292-h.htm b/38292-h/38292-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9374b3a --- /dev/null +++ b/38292-h/38292-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,7659 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + +<head> + + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Witch Of The Hills Vol. 2 of 2, by Florence Warden. + </title> + + <style type="text/css"> + + blockquote { + text-align:justify; + } + + body { + margin-left:10%; + margin-right:10%; + } + + .booktitle { + letter-spacing:3px; + } + + .border2 { + border-width:2px; + border-style:solid; + border-color:black; + } + + .center { + text-align:center; + font-weight:bold; + } + + div.center { + text-align:center; + } + + .figcenter { + padding:1em; + text-align:center; + font-size:0.8em; + border:none; + margin:auto; + text-indent:1em; + } + + .h1 { + font-size:2em; + margin:.67em 0; + } + + .h1, .h2, .h3, .h4, .h5 { + font-weight:bolder; + text-align:center; + text-indent:0; + } + + h1, h2, h3, h4, h5 { + text-align:center; + } + + .h2 { + font-size:1.5em; + margin:.75em 0; + } + + .h3 { + font-size:1.17em; + margin:.83em 0; + } + + .h4 { + margin:1.12em 0 ; + } + + .h5 { + font-size:.83em; + margin:1.5em 0 ; + } + + h5 { + margin-bottom:1%; + margin-top:1%; + } + + hr.chap { + margin-top:6em; + margin-bottom:4em; + clear:both; + } + + hr.tb { + margin:2em 25%; + width:50%; + } + + p { + text-align:justify; + margin-top:.75em; + margin-bottom:.75em; + text-indent:0; + } + + p.author { + text-align:right; + margin-right:5%; + } + + p.caption { + text-indent:0; + text-align:center; + font-weight:bold; + margin-bottom:2em; + } + + p.spacer { + margin-top:2em; + margin-bottom:3em; + } + + .pagenum { +/* visibility:hidden; remove comment out to hide page numbers */ + position:absolute; + right:2%; + font-size:75%; + color:gray; + background-color:inherit; + text-align:right; + text-indent:0; + font-style:normal; + font-weight:normal; + font-variant:normal; + } + + .smcap { + font-variant:small-caps; + } + + </style> + +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's A Witch of the Hills, v. 2-2, by Florence Warden + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Witch of the Hills, v. 2-2 + +Author: Florence Warden + +Release Date: December 13, 2011 [EBook #38292] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WITCH OF THE HILLS, V. 2-2 *** + + + + +Produced by Matthew Wheaton, Beginners Projects, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="627" alt="" /> +</div> + +<p class="caption">A Witch of the HIlls<br />Florence Warden</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img class="border2" src="images/tp.jpg" width="400" height="640" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h1 class="booktitle">A WITCH OF THE HILLS</h1> + +<p class="h4">BY</p> + +<p class="h3">FLORENCE WARDEN</p> + +<p class="h5">AUTHOR OF 'THE HOUSE ON THE MARSH,' ETC.</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h4">IN TWO VOLUMES<br /> +VOL. II</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h4">LONDON<br /> +RICHARD BENTLEY & SON, NEW BURLINGTON STREET<br /> +Publishers in Ordinary to Her Majesty the Queen<br /> +1888</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h3">CONTENTS</p> + +<div class="center"> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER XV</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER XVI</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">CHAPTER XVII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">CHAPTER XVIII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">CHAPTER XIX</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XX">CHAPTER XX</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">CHAPTER XXI</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">CHAPTER XXII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">CHAPTER XXIII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">CHAPTER XXIV</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXV">CHAPTER XXV</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XXVI">CHAPTER XXVI</a><br /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[1]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch14.jpg" width="400" height="117" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2>A WITCH OF THE HILLS</h2> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV</h2> + +<p>That visit of Mr. Ellmer's,—hard as I tried, +and, as I believe, Babiole tried, to cheat myself +into believing the contrary,—spoiled the +old frank intercourse between us for ever. It +was my fault, I know. Dreams that stirred +my soul and shook my body had sprung up +suddenly on that faint basis of a spurious tie +between me and the girl I had before half-unconsciously +loved. Now my long-torpid +passions stirred with life again and held Walpurgis +Night revels within me. Our lessons<span class="pagenum">[2]</span> +had to be laid by for a time, while I went +salmon-fishing, and tried to persuade myself +that it had been long neglect of my rod that +had caused forgotten passions and yearnings +to run riot in my blood in this undisciplined +manner. But it would not do. Tired out I +would drag my way home, eat a huge dinner, +and sink half-asleep into my old chair. Instead +of my falling into stupid, happy, dreamless +slumber, the leaden numbness of fatigue +would settle upon my limbs, while the one +figure whose growing ascendancy over my +whole nature I made these energetic efforts +to throw off, would pass and repass through +my mind's dull vision, the one thing distinct, +the one thing ever-recurring, enticing me to +follow it, eluding me, coming within my grasp, +escaping me, and so on for ever.</p> + +<p>Then I tried a new tack: the lessons were +resumed. But we were both more reserved +than in the old days, and I, at least, was constrained<span class="pagenum">[3]</span> +also. It was not the old child-pupil +sitting by my side; it was the woman I wanted +to cherish in my bosom. The old free correction, +discussion, were exchanged for poor +endeavours by little implied compliments, by +mild attempts at eloquence, by appeals to her +sentiment when the subject in hand allowed +it, to gain her goodwill, to prepare her for the +time, which must come, when I should have +to entreat her to forget my hideous face and +try to love me as a husband.</p> + +<p>I knew I was making hopeless, ridiculous +mistakes in my conduct towards her; that the +change in my manner she took merely as an +acknowledgment that she was now in some +sort 'grown-up,' and answered by a little +added primness to show that she was equal +to the requirements of the new dignity. I +felt that eight years' neglect of the sex threw +a man a century behind the times with regard +to his knowledge of women, and I was growing<span class="pagenum">[4]</span> +desperate when a ray of light came to me +in the darkness of my clumsy courtship. I +would consult Normanton, who was in the +swim of the times, and who might be able to +advise me as to the prudence of certain bold +measures which, in my desperation, from time +to time occurred to me. Neither Babiole nor +I ever spoke about her father's visit, but the +attempt to go on as if nothing had happened +never grew any easier, and I welcomed the +visit of my four friends, which took place +rather earlier in the year than usual.</p> + +<p>It was in the beginning of July that they +all dropped in upon me in their usual casual +fashion, and we had our first dinner together +in a great tempest, excited by Edgar's announcement +that this was his last bachelor +holiday, as he was going to be married. I +listened to the torrents of comment that, by +long-standing agreement among us, were +bound to be free, with new and painful interest;<span class="pagenum">[5]</span> +at any rate, I reflected that the private +advice I was going to ask of Edgar later +would now have the added weight of experience, +and would, therefore, be more valuable +than it could have been in the old days of his +unregenerate contempt for women. To hear +my Mentor browbeaten on this subject was +not altogether disagreeable to me, for I had +a keen memory of his somewhat lofty tone of +indulgence to me in the old times.</p> + +<p>'And—er—what induced you to take this +step?' asked Fabian, in an inquisitorial tone, +which implied the addition, 'without consulting +us.' He was holding a glass of sherry in +his hand, and he looked at it as if he thought +that his friend's unaccountable conduct had +spoilt its flavour.</p> + +<p>Edgar blushed and looked conscience-stricken. +I feasted my eyes upon the sight.</p> + +<p>'Well, I believe there is always a difficulty +about giving a satisfactory account of these<span class="pagenum">[6]</span> +things,—an account, that is to say, which will +satisfy the strict requirements of logic.'</p> + +<p>'We expect an account consistent with +your own principles, often and emphatically +laid down. If you have not sinned against +those, you will be listened to with indulgence,' +said Fabian dogmatically. 'You shall be +judged under your own laws.'</p> + +<p>'Come, that's rather hard upon him,' +pleaded Mr. Fussell.</p> + +<p>Edgar dashed into his explanation in an +off-hand manner.</p> + +<p>'I met her at a tennis-party.' Maurice +Browne, who hated muscular exercise, groaned. +'She was dressed in light blue flannel.' Fabian, +who had been at Oxford, hissed. Edgar +stopped to ask if this conduct were judicial.</p> + +<p>'As a set-off against your advantage of +being judged by your own laws, we claim the +right to express our feelings each in his own +manner,' explained Fabian. 'Go on.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[7]</span></p> + +<p>'We entered into conversation.' Dead +but excited silence. 'I found she had read +Browning,'—Murmurs of disgust from Fabian, +of incredulity from Browne; placid and vague +murmur, implying ill-concealed non-apprehension, +from Mr. Fussell,—'but did not understand +him.' Explosion of mirth, in which +everybody joined. 'I offered my services as +some sort of interpreter.' Sardonic laugh +from Browne. 'Merely on the assumption +that a bad guess is better than none.' Interpellation +from Fabian, ''Tis better to have +guessed all wrong, than never to have guessed +at all.' Edgar continued: 'After that we +met again,'—deep attention,—'and again.' +Murmurs of disappointment. 'At last we +became engaged.'</p> + +<p>A pause. Fabian drank a glass of champagne +off hastily, and rose with frowns.</p> + +<p>'It seems to me, gentlemen, that a taste +for Browning and blue flannel, which is all<span class="pagenum">[8]</span> +our honourable friend seems to be able to put +forward in favour of this lady, is a poor equipment +for a person who (unless our honourable +friend has gone back very far from his often-declared +views on the subject of matrimony) +is to be his guiding genius to political glory, +the spur to his languid ambition, the beacon +to his best aspirations,—in fact, gentlemen, +the tug-boat to his man-of-war.'</p> + +<p>'And as no girl reads Browning except +under strong masculine pressure,' added +Browne gravely, 'our friend the man-of-war +must make up his mind that other and perhaps +handsomer vessels have been towed +before him, with the same rope.'</p> + +<p>'Is the lady handsome?' asked Mr. Fussell.</p> + +<p>Edgar hesitated. 'She has an intelligent +face,' he said.</p> + +<p>Upon this there arose much diversity of +opinion; Fabian holding that this was consistent<span class="pagenum">[9]</span> +and even praiseworthy, while Maurice +Browne and Mr. Fussell agreed that to deliberately +marry a woman without positive +and incontestable beauty ought to disqualify +a man for the franchise as a person unfit for +any exercise of judgment. When, however, +Edgar, after allowing the controversy to rage, +quietly produced and passed round the portrait +of a girl beautiful enough to convert the +sternest bachelor, there was a great calm, and +the conversation, with a marked change of +current, flowed smoothly into the abstract +question of marriage. Edgar was not only +acquitted; he changed places with his judges. +Every objection to matrimony was put forward +in apologetic tones.</p> + +<p>'For my part, when I speak bitterly of +marriage, of course I am prejudiced by my +own experience,' said Mr. Fussell, with a sigh +that was jolly in spite of himself. He was +separated from his wife,—everybody knew<span class="pagenum">[10]</span> +that; but he ignored—perhaps even scarcely +took in the significance of—the fact that he +had previously deserted her again and again.</p> + +<p>Maurice Browne averred that his only objection +to marriage was that it was an irrational +bond; men and women, being animals with +the disadvantage of speech to confuse each +other's reason, should, like the other animals, +be free to take a fresh partner every year.</p> + +<p>This was received in silence, none of us +being strong enough in natural history to +contradict him, though we had doubts. He +added that a book of his which was shortly +to be brought out would, he thought, do much +to bring about a more logical view of this +matter, and to do away with the present +vicious, because unnatural, restrictions.</p> + +<p>Mr. Fussell, the person present whose +private conduct would the least bear close +inspection, was sincerely shocked, and wished +to speak in the interests of morality, when<span class="pagenum">[11]</span> +Fabian broke in, too full of his own views to +bear discussion of other people's.</p> + +<p>'Marriage,' he asserted in his excitable +manner, 'for princes, for dukes, for grocers, +and, in fact, the general rabble of humanity, +is not a choice, but a necessity, according to +the present state of things, which I see no +pressing need to alter. But for the chosen +ones of the earth—the artists,'—involuntarily +I thought of Mr. Ellmer,—'by which I, of +course, mean all those who, animated by some +spark of the divine fire, have obeyed the call +of Art, and given their lives and energies to +her in one or another of her highest forms,—for +us artists, I say, marriage is so much an +impediment, so much an impossibility, that I +unhesitatingly brand as mock-artists those +fiddlers, mummers, and paint-smudgers who +prefer the vulgar joys of domestic union to +the savage independence and isolation which +Art—true Art—imperatively demands. The<span class="pagenum">[12]</span> +wife of an artist—for as long as the pure soul +of an artist remains weighted by a gross and +exacting body, as long as he has dinners to +be cooked, shirt-buttons to be sewn on, and +desires to be satisfied, he may have what the +world calls a wife; that wife must be content +with the position of a kindly-treated slave.'</p> + +<p>At this point there arose a tumult, and +somebody threw a cork at him. He +wanted to say more, but even Browne, who +had given him a little qualified applause, +desired to hear no more; and amid kindly +assurances that hanging was too good for +him, and that it was to be hoped Art would +make it hot for him, and so forth, he sat +down, and I, perceiving that we were all +growing rather warm over this subject, suggested +a move to the drawing-room, into +which I had had the piano taken.</p> + +<p>A little figure in pale pink stuff sprang up +from a seat in the corner as we came in, letting<span class="pagenum">[13]</span> +a big volume of old-fashioned engravings +fall from her arms. It was Babiole, who had +been too deep in her discovery of a new book +to expect us so soon. She gave a quick +glance at the window by which she had prepared +a way of escape; but seeing that it was +too late, she came forward a few steps without +confusion and held out her hand to Fabian, +who seemed much struck with the improvement +two years had brought about in her +appearance. Then, after receiving the greetings +of the rest, she excused herself on the +plea that her mother was waiting for her at +tea, and made a bow, in which most of us saw +a good deal of grace, to Maurice Browne, +who held open the door for her.</p> + +<p>As Browne then made a rush to the piano, +I lost no time in taking Edgar on one side +under pretence of showing him an article in a +review, and in unburdening myself to him +with very little preface. I was in love, hopelessly<span class="pagenum">[14]</span> +in love. He guessed with whom at +once, but did not understand my difficulty.</p> + +<p>'She seems a modest, intelligent little girl; +she has every reason to be grateful to you, +even fond of you. Why should you be so +diffident?'</p> + +<p>I explained that she was beautiful, romantic, +inexperienced; that her head was still full +of silky-locked princes and moated castles, or +with creatures of her fancy little less impossible; +all sorts of dream-passions were seething +in her girl's brain I knew, for I understood +the little creature with desperate clearness of +vision which only seemed to make her more +inaccessible to me. If I could only conquer +that terrible diffidence, that overwhelming +awe that her fairy-like ignorance and innocence +of the realities of life imposed upon me, +I felt that I could plead my cause with a fire +and force that would surmount even that +ghastly obstacle of my hideous face; but then,<span class="pagenum">[15]</span> +again, fire and force were no weapons to use +against the indifference of childlike innocence; +and to ask her in cold blood to marry me +without making her heart speak first in my +favour would be monstrous. She had looked +upon me till lately as she would have looked +upon her grandfather, and this unsatisfactory +affection had given place lately to a reserve +which was even more unpromising. Edgar +listened to me, did not deny the enormous +fascination of a young mind one has one's +self helped to form, but thought that I should +resist it, and was rather indignant that I had +not taken the opportunity of her father's visit +to rid myself of mother and daughter together. +He inclined to the idea that the two +unlucky women were imposing on my generosity +and were determined to make 'a good +thing' out of me, and it was not until I +had spent some time in explaining minutely +the footing upon which we stood to one<span class="pagenum">[16]</span> +another that his prejudices began to give +way.</p> + +<p>At this point I perceived that Maurice +Browne was playing at chess with Mr. Fussell, +while Fabian had disappeared. When +the game was over, they insisted on our joining +them at whist. Before we had played +one game I began to grow nervous at Fabian's +long absence, and Mr. Fussell, who was my +partner, took to leaning over the table as soon +as I put down a card, and with one finger +fixed viciously in the green cloth, and his +starting eyes peering up into my face over +his double eyeglass, saying in a sepulchral +voice—</p> + +<p>'<i>Did</i> you see what was played, Mr. +Maude?'</p> + +<p>I had trumped his trick, revoked, and done +everything else that I ought not to have done +before the missing Fabian came back in a +tornado of high spirits, and with a tiny white<span class="pagenum">[17]</span> +Scotch rose at his buttonhole. Now there +was only one Scotch rose-bush in the garden, +and it grew by the porch of the cottage and +was Babiole's private property. When the +hand was played out I got Fabian to take my +place, for my fingers shook so that I could +not sort my cards.</p> + +<p>While I had been arguing with Edgar the +necessity of delicacy in making love to a +young girl, Fabian had dashed into the breach, +and now bore the trophy of a first success on +his breast.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep14.jpg" width="130" height="135" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[18]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch15.jpg" width="400" height="123" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER XV</h2> + + +<p>I believe that Edgar, in the innocence of his +heart, thought that Fabian's headlong flirtation +and flaunting success with the girl I +loved in such meek and forlorn fashion formed +a salutary experience for me.</p> + +<p>For while the young actor invariably +sloped from fishing excursions, and disappeared +from picnics, and had a flower which +I absolutely recognised in his buttonhole +every day, Edgar contented himself with +preaching to me a philosophical calm, and +ignored my pathetic insinuations that he +might do some unspecified good by 'speaking +to' Fabian. Indeed, that would have been<span class="pagenum">[19]</span> +a delicate business; especially as I had announced +myself to be the girl's guardian, and +she was thus undeniably well provided with +protectors. All the consolation I had was the +reflection that this flirtation could only last a +fortnight; but as it was my guests themselves +who fixed not only the date but the duration +of their stay, even this comfort was destroyed +by their agreeing among themselves to extend +their visit by another ten days. When I +learned that this was upon the proposal of +Fabian I took a stern resolution. I invited +Mrs. Ellmer and her daughter to join us in +all our expeditions, so as to establish an effective +check upon the freedom of their intercourse. +The result of this was that Mrs. +Ellmer abandoned herself to a rattling flirtation +with Mr. Fussell, while Fabian walked off +with Babiole to gather flowers, or to climb hills, +or to race Ta-ta, in the most open manner, and +Edgar laughed at my annoyance, and talked<span class="pagenum">[20]</span> +about hens and ducklings to me in an exasperating +undertone.</p> + +<p>I think he began to believe that I was +entering prematurely into the doddering and +senile stage—this straight, wholesome, handsome +fellow, who disdained the least pang of +jealousy of the girl who was fortunate enough +to have secured his magnanimous approval. +If he had been branded with a disfiguring +scar, he would have renounced the joys of +love with such staunch, heroic, 'broad-shouldered' +fortitude, that there would have been +quite a rush for the honour of consoling him; +it was not in him to find anything deeper +than lip-compassion for feverish and morbid +emotions. I admired his grand and healthy +obtuseness, and wished that he could bind +my eyes too. But I saw plainly enough the +radiance of unnatural exaltation of feeling +which lighted up the young girl's face after +a walk with Fabian, and I knew that the<span class="pagenum">[21]</span> +hectic enthusiasm of his artist temperament +was kindling fires in the sensitive nature, +which it would be danger to feed and ruin to +extinguish. With a morbid sensibility of +which I was ashamed, I could look into the +girl's glowing blue eyes as I shook her hand +and bade her good-night, and feel in my own +soul every emotion that had stirred her heart +as she roamed over the hills with Fabian that +day.</p> + +<p>It was near the end of the third week of +my visitors' stay, that I waited one night for +Fabian's return from the cottage, to which he +and Mr. Fussell had escorted the two ladies, +who had dined with us. Mr. Fussell had +returned, and gone into the house to play +cards. Fabian came back sixteen minutes +later. There had been a proposal to extend +my visitors' stay still further, and upon that +hint I had determined to speak. I was leaning +against the portico, as we called the porch<span class="pagenum">[22]</span> +of the house, to distinguish it from that of the +cottage. I had smoked through two cigars +while I was waiting, but at the sound of his +footsteps I threw the third away. Fabian +walked with a long swinging step: off the +stage the man was too earnest to saunter; +crossing a room, eating his breakfast, always +seemed a matter of life or death to him; and +if he had to call a second time for his shaving-water, +it was in the tones of a Huguenot +while the Saint Bartholomew was at its +height. I had always looked upon him as +a very good fellow, impetuous but honourable, +doing intentional harm to no one. But +I knew the elasticity of my sex's morality +where nothing stronger than the sentiments +is concerned, and I knew that his impetuosity +was kept in some sort of check by his +ambition. His restless erratic life, and +his avowed principles, were antagonistic to +happy marriage, and I knew that he was in<span class="pagenum">[23]</span> +the habit of satisfying the <i>besoin d'aimer</i> by +open and chivalrous attachments to now one +and now another distinguished lady; and this +knightly devotion to Queens of Love and +Beauty, though it makes very pretty reading +in the chronicles of the Middle Ages, is not, +in the interest of nineteenth century domestic +peace, a thing to be revived. So, although +I had miserable doubts that the steed was +already stolen, I was determined to lock the +stable door.</p> + +<p>'Lovely night,' said he. 'I like your +Scotch hills at night; and, for the matter of +that, I like them in the daytime too.'</p> + +<p>Fabian always sank the fact that he was a +Scotchman, though I burned just now with +the conviction that he was tainted with the +national hypocrisy.</p> + +<p>'I suppose you will be glad to get back to +the hum and roar again by this time, though,' +I said as carelessly as I could.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[24]</span></p> + +<p>Fabian had none of Edgar's serene obtuseness. +He looked at me to find out what I meant.</p> + +<p>'Well, you know, we were thinking of +imposing ourselves upon you for another +week, if you have no objection.'</p> + +<p>This show of civility was the first shadow +on our unceremonious intercourse. In spite +of myself I was this evening grave and stiff, +and not to be approached with the customary +affectionate familiarity. There was silence +while one might have counted twenty. Then +I said—</p> + +<p>'That was <i>your</i> proposal, was it not?'</p> + +<p>I spoke so gravely, so humbly, that my +question, rude as it was in itself, could not +offend.</p> + +<p>'Why—yes,' said he in a tone as low and +as serious as my own. 'What's the matter, +Harry?'</p> + +<p>'Will you tell me, honestly, why you want +to stay?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[25]</span></p> + +<p>His big burning eyes looked intently into +my face, and then he put one long thin hand +through his hair and laughed.</p> + +<p>'Well, after all that you've done to make +our stay agreeable, that's a queer question to +ask.'</p> + +<p>I put my hand on his shoulder and forced +him to keep still.</p> + +<p>'Look here, Faby, I don't want to insult +you, you know; but are you staying because +of that little girl?'</p> + +<p>He drew himself up and answered me with +a very fine and knightly fire—</p> + +<p>'Do you take me for a scoundrel?'</p> + +<p>'No; if I did you would never have +touched the child's hand.'</p> + +<p>'Then what do you mean?'</p> + +<p>'Simply this, that I know Babiole better +than you do, and I can see that every word +you say to her strikes down deeper than you +think. She is an imaginative little—fool if<span class="pagenum">[26]</span> +you like; she believes that the romance of +her life is come, and she is beginning to live +upon it and upon nothing else.'</p> + +<p>Fabian considered, looking down upon the +grass, in which he was digging a deep symmetrical +hole with his right heel. At last he +looked up.</p> + +<p>'I think you're wrong; I do indeed,' he +said earnestly. 'You know as well as I do +that my trotting about with her has always +been as open as the day; that it was taken +for granted there was no question of serious +love-making with a mere child like that. I'm +sure her mother never thought of such a thing +for a moment.'</p> + +<p>Now I knew that Mrs. Ellmer, on principle, +scoffed so keenly at love in her +daughter's presence, by way of wholesome +repression of the emotions, that she would be +sure to think that she had scoffed away all +danger of its inopportune appearance.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[27]</span></p> + +<p>'My dear boy, I acquit you of all blame +in the matter. The mother we can leave out +of account; she is not a person of the most +delicate discrimination. But I tell you I +have watched the girl——'</p> + +<p>'That is enough,' interrupted Fabian abruptly, +and with off-hand haughtiness. 'Of +course, if I had understood that you were +personally interested in the little girl——'</p> + +<p>I interrupted in my turn. 'I am interested +only in getting her well, that is—happily—married.'</p> + +<p>Fabian bowed. 'You are anticipating +your troubles with your ward, or pupil, or +whatever you call her,' said he lightly, +though he was angry enough for his words +to have a bitter tone. 'However, of course +I respect your solicitude, and Babiole and I +must, for the next few days, hunt butterflies +on separate hills.'</p> + +<p>And shaking me by the shoulder, and<span class="pagenum">[28]</span> +laughing at me for an old woman, he went +into the house.</p> + +<p>But he was obstinate, or more interested +than he pretended to be. I know that it was +he who next morning at breakfast put up +Fussell and Maurice Browne to great eagerness +for the extension of their stay. When I +regretted that I had made arrangements for +going to Edinburgh on business on the date +already settled for their departure, Fabian +glanced up at my face with a vindictive +expression which startled me.</p> + +<p>This was the last day but one of my +visitors' stay. We all went on the coach to +Braemar, having taken our places the night +before. As we all walked in the early morning +to Ballater station, from which the coach +starts, I overheard Fabian say to Babiole—</p> + +<p>'We shan't be able to see much of each +other to-day, little one. Your maiden aunt +disapproves of my picking flowers for you.<span class="pagenum">[29]</span> +But I'll get as near as I can to you on the +coach, and this evening you must get mamma +to invite me to tea.'</p> + +<p>'Maiden aunt!' she repeated, evidently +not understanding him.</p> + +<p>They were behind me, so that I could not +see their faces; but by a glance, a gesture, +or a whisper Fabian must have indicated me; +for she burst out—</p> + +<p>'Oh, you must not laugh at him; it is not +right; I won't hear anything against Mr. +Maude.'</p> + +<p>'Sh! Against him! Oh dear, no!' And +the sneer died away in words I could not +hear.</p> + +<p>They had fallen back, I suppose, for I lost +even the sound of their voices; but I heard +no more than before of the monologue on +the New Era in literature to which Maurice +Browne was treating me. He was the +pioneer of this New Era, so we understood;<span class="pagenum">[30]</span> +and there was so much more about the +pioneer than about the era in his talk on +this his favourite subject, that we, who were +quite satisfied to know no more of the inmost +workings of his mind than was revealed by +the small talk of daily existence, seldom +gave him a chance of unburdening himself +fully except when our minds, like mine on +this occasion, were deeply engaged with +other matters.</p> + +<p>On the coach Fabian sat next to Babiole, +who looked so sweet in a white muslin hat +and a frock made of the stuff with which +drawing-room chairs are covered up when +the family are out of town, that Maurice +Browne, in a burst of enthusiasm, compared +her to a young brown and white rabbit. +Fabian had brought his umbrella, so I told +myself, for the express purpose of holding it +over his companion in such a manner as to +prevent me, on the back seat, from seeing<span class="pagenum">[31]</span> +the ardent gaze of the man, the shy glances +of the girl, which I jealously imagined underneath. +Everybody declared that it was a +beautiful drive; I had thought so myself a +good many times before. The winding Dee +burnt its way through the valley in a blaze of +sunlight on our left, past the picturesque +little tower of Abergeldie, with its rough +walls and corner turret; past stately, romantic +Balmoral, whose white pinnacles and +battlements peeped out, with royal and +appropriate reserve, from behind a screen of +trees, on the other side of the river, far +below us. Near here we found our fresh +team, standing quietly under a tree, by a +ruined and roofless stone building. Oddly +frequent they are, these ruinous farms and +cottages, in the royal neighbourhood. As +we drew near Braemar the scenery grew +wilder and grander. Between the peaks of +the bare steep hills, where little patches of<span class="pagenum">[32]</span> +tall fir-trees grow on inaccessible ledges on +the face of the dark-gray rock, we caught +glimpses of Lochnagar, with its snow-cap +dwindled by the summer sun into thin white +lines. We passed close under steep Craig +Clunie, where the story goes that Colonel +Farquharson, of Clunie, hid himself after +the battle of Culloden, and heard King +George's soldiers making merry over their +victory in his mansion, which, in common +with all old Scotch country-houses, is called +a castle. As the castle is three-quarters of a +mile from the Craig, Edgar opined that the +Colonel must have had sharp ears. Then +he scoffed a little at the obstinate ignorance +of the Highland gentlemen who would +hazard an acre in defence of such a futile +and worthless person as Charles James +Stuart. Edgar had advanced political +notions, which, in another man, I should +have called rabid. I said that if it had been<span class="pagenum">[33]</span> +merely a matter of persons, and not of +principles, I should have backed up the +Colonel, since I would sooner swear allegiance +to a home-born profligate than to one +of foreign growth; but then I own I would +have English princes marry English ladies, +and I feel a sneaking regard for Henry the +Eighth for having given his countrywomen +a chance, and thereby left to the world our +last great sovereign by right of birth, Queen +Elizabeth.</p> + +<p>That umbrella in front of me had made +me cantankerous, I daresay; at any rate, I +disagreed persistently with Edgar for the +rest of the way, and called Old Mar Castle +a mouldy old rat-hole merely because he was +struck with admiration of its many-turreted +walls. We had luncheon at the Fife Arms, +where we were all overpowered by Mr. +Fussell, who, having been allowed by the +coachman to drive for about half a mile as<span class="pagenum">[34]</span> +we came, became so puffed up by his superiority, +and so tiresomely loud in his boasts +about his driving that, Fabian being too +much occupied with Babiole to shut him up, +and nobody else having the requisite dash +and disregard of other people's feelings, we +all sneaked away from the table, one by one, +as quickly as we could, and left him to finish +by himself the champagne he had ordered. +These three, therefore, spent the hours +before our return in the neighbourhood of +Braemar together. While keeping within +the letter of his promise to have no more +<i>tête-à-tête</i> walks with Babiole, Fabian thus +easily violated the spirit of it; since Mr. +Fussell, being too stout and too sleepy after +luncheon to do much walking, suggested +frequent and long rests under the trees, +which he spent with gently-clasped hands, +and a handkerchief over his face to keep the +flies off.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[35]</span></p> + +<p>The rest of us took a beastly hot walk to +the Falls of Corriemulzie, and I wondered +what I could have before seen to admire in +them. Coming back, Mrs. Ellmer chased +Maurice Browne for some indiscreet compliment. +A tropical sun would not have taken +the vivacity out of that woman! and Edgar +fell through a fence on which he was resting, +was planted in a bramble, and said 'Damn' +for the first recorded time in the presence of +a lady. That is all I remember of the expedition.</p> + +<p>For the return journey, as Mr. Fussell had +retired into the interior of the coach for a +nap, being the laziest of men when he was +not the busiest, I took the box-seat by the +coachman, and was thus spared the sight of +another <i>tête-à-tête</i>. After dinner that evening +Fabian disappeared as usual in the direction +of the cottage, and on the following day, +which was the last of my visitors' stay, he<span class="pagenum">[36]</span> +threw his promise to the winds so openly that +I began to think he must have made up his +mind to let his principles go by the board, and +make love seriously. In that case, of course, +I could have nothing to say, and however +much I might choose to torment myself with +doubts as to the permanent happiness of the +union, I had really no grounds for believing +that his vaunted principles would stand the +test of practical experience better than did +the ante-matrimonial prattle of more commonplace +young men.</p> + +<p>On the morning of my guests' departure +the house was all astir at five o'clock in the +morning. There was really no need for this +effort, as the train did not leave Ballater till +8.25, and my Norfolk cart and a fly from +M'Gregor's would not be at the door before +half-past seven. But it was a convention +among us to behave to the end like schoolboys, +and, after all, a summer sunrise among<span class="pagenum">[37]</span> +the hills is a thing to be seen once and remembered +for ever.</p> + +<p>So there was much running up and down +stairs, and sorting of rugs and collecting of +miscellaneous trifles (I declare if they had +been professional pickpockets I could not +have dreaded more the ravages they made +among the more modern and spicy of the +volumes in my library), and there was a +general disposition to fall foul of Edgar for +the approaching vagary of his marriage, +which would break up our Round Table +hopelessly.</p> + +<p>'I look upon this as a "long, a last good-bye" +to Normanton,' said Maurice Browne, +shaking his head. 'No man passes through +the furnace of matrimony unchanged. When +we see him again he may be a <i>better</i> man, +refined by trial, ennobled by endurance; but +he will not be the <i>same</i>. He will be a phœnix +<span class="pagenum">[38]</span>risen from the ashes of the old——'</p> + +<p>'Or a wreck broken up by the waves,' +added Mr. Fussell.</p> + +<p>I looked out of one of the eastern windows +at the red sun-glow, in which I took more +pleasure than the Londoners, perhaps because +I considered it as a part of my Highland property. +To the left, standing in the long wet +grass, shyly hiding herself among the trees, +was Babiole; I went to another window +from which I could see her more plainly, and +discovered that her little face was much paler +than usual, that she was watching the portico +with straining eyes; in her hand, but held +behind her, was a red rose, that she drew out +from time to time and even kissed. I think +she was crying. It was half-past six o'clock. +I turned away and went back to my friends, +who were already deep in a gigantic breakfast. +From time to time I went back, on +some pretext or other, to the window: she +was always there, in the same place. The<span class="pagenum">[39]</span> +fourth time I looked out she was shivering; +and her hands, red with the cold of the morning, +were tucked up to her throat, red rose +and all. I went up to Fabian, who I am +sure must have been at quite his third chop, +and touched him on the shoulder.</p> + +<p>'There's some one waiting outside,—waiting +for you, I think,' said I, in a low voice, +under cover of the rich full tones of my true +friend Fussell, who was waxing warm in the +eloquence of his farewell to Scotch breakfasts.</p> + +<p>Fabian got up at once and went out. I saw +the child start forward, crimson in a moment, +and the tears flowing undisguisedly; and with +a choking feeling at my throat I turned away.</p> + +<p>'Hallo, why you're not eating, Harry,' +cried Maurice presently. 'You must be in +love.'</p> + +<p>'Another of 'em!' groaned Fussell.</p> + +<p>'No,' said I hastily. 'The fact is I had +something to eat before you came down.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[40]</span></p> + +<p>There was a roar at my voracity, but their +own appetites were too vigorous for them to +disbelieve me. I remember clearly only this +of our final departure for the station: that +Fabian turned up late, dashing after us down +the drive in fact, and leaping up on to the +Norfolk cart beside me. And that his eyes +were dry, but that the front of his coat, just +below the collar, was wet, perhaps with the +dew. Nevertheless, if Edgar had not been +behind us, I should have felt much inclined, +when we drove along the road by the Dee, +just where the bank is nice and steep, to give +a jerk of the reins to the left, pitch my artistic +friend out into the river's stony bed, and take +my risk of following him.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep15.jpg" width="130" height="148" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[41]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch16.jpg" width="400" height="119" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER XVI</h2> + + +<p>Life seemed to move in a somewhat slow +and stagnant manner for several days after +the departure of my guests. I scarcely saw +Babiole, and never spoke to her, a great shyness +towards each other having taken possession +of both of us. Mrs. Ellmer, upon +whom I made a ceremonious call when I +could contain my anxious interest no longer, +was stiff in manner, haughty and depressed. +She had evidently been informed of my +opposition to Fabian's intention of extending +his stay, and I soon learnt, to my great +surprise, that she considered me responsible +for the destruction of Babiole's first chance<span class="pagenum">[42]</span>—'and +the only one she is likely to have, poor +child, living poked up here,' of 'settling +well.'</p> + +<p>'Oh,' said I, raising my eyebrows, and +putting into that one exclamation as much +sardonic emphasis as I could, while I kept +my eyes fixed upon the cat and my hands +much occupied with my deer-stalker, 'and +may I be permitted to learn how I have done +this?'</p> + +<p>'It is useless to put on a satirical manner +with me, Mr. Maude,' said the lady with +dignity; 'I am perfectly aware that it was you +who objected to Mr. Scott's remaining here +long enough to make proposals for my +daughter, and that, in fact, you interfered in +the most marked way with his courtship of +her.'</p> + +<p>'And are you ignorant of the fact, madam, +that to interfere with a man's courtship is +the very way to increase its warmth, and<span class="pagenum">[43]</span> +that if my interference, as you call it, could +not screw him up to the point of proposing, +nothing ever would?'</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer dropped into her lap the +work which she had snatched up on my +entrance, and at which she had been stitching +away ever since, as a hint that she was busy +and would be glad to be left alone; at the +same time being, I think, not sorry to vent +her ill-humour on some one.</p> + +<p>'You are using very extraordinary expressions, +Mr. Maude,' she said acidly. 'If +her mother was satisfied with the gentleman's +behaviour, I really don't see what business +you had in the affair at all.'</p> + +<p>'Do you forget that her father has made +me responsible for the care of her? that she +is certainly under my guardianship, and +nominally engaged to me.'</p> + +<p>'Nominally! There it is. To be engaged +to a man who acknowledges that he never<span class="pagenum">[44]</span> +means to marry you! There's a pretty +position for a girl, as I've said to Babiole +scores of times!'</p> + +<p>My heart leaped up.</p> + +<p>'You've said that to Babiole!' I echoed, +in a voice of suppressed rage that brought +the little slender virago at once to reason.</p> + +<p>'Well, Mr. Maude, with all respect to you, +the position is something like that,' she said +more reasonably.</p> + +<p>'It is not at all like that,' I answered in +my gravest and most magisterial tones. 'If +your daughter could by any possibility overcome +a young girl's natural repugnance to +take for husband such an unsightly object as +accident has made me, I should be a much +happier man than I am ever likely to be. +But she could not do so; there is such a +ghastly incongruity about a marriage of +that sort that I could scarcely even wish +her to do so.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[45]</span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer's eyes had begun to glow with +the carefully but scarcely successfully subdued +interest of the match-making mamma. This, +however, gave place to uneasy disappointment +as I went on—</p> + +<p>'All the same I take an interest in your +daughter's happiness quite as strong as if it +were a more selfish one. It was that interest +which prompted me to prevent the prolonging +of a flirtation which might have serious +consequences for your sensitive and impressionable +little daughter.'</p> + +<p>'Serious consequences!' stammered Mrs. +Ellmer. 'Do you mean to say that Mr. +Scott, your friend, is a dishonourable man?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said I, 'I would not say anything so +severe as that. But I am certainly of +opinion that Mr. Scott had no more serious +intention than to fill up his time here +pleasantly by talks and walks with a pretty and +charming girl. Lots of pretty and charming<span class="pagenum">[46]</span> +girls accept such temporary devotion for +what it is worth, and their regrets, when the +amusement is over, are proportionately light. +But I know that Babiole is not like that, and +so I did all that my limited powers of +guardianship could do to lessen the danger.'</p> + +<p>'But he may still write and propose,' +murmured the dismayed mother. 'Even if +his intentions were not serious while he was +here, he may find he cannot get on without +her!'</p> + +<p>I wanted to shake the woman, or to box +her ears, and ask her how she had dared +wittingly to expose her daughter to the misery +of hanging on to such a hope as this.</p> + +<p>'I don't think it's likely,' I said drily; and +questioning my face with doubt in her eyes, +the match-maker tried another tack.</p> + +<p>'After all, Mr. Maude, it may be for the +best,' she began in a conciliatory tone. 'It +was I, rather than Babiole, that was so hot<span class="pagenum">[47]</span> +upon this match, not understanding that my +poor child had any chance of a better husband. +For my part, I don't see that you have +any reason to talk about yourself in the disponding +manner you do, and if you will only +trust for a little while to my diplomacy, and +speak to her when I give you the word that +it's the right moment——'</p> + +<p>I interrupted her by standing up suddenly, +and I can only hope my face did not express +what I thought of her and her miserable +diplomacy.</p> + +<p>'You will oblige me by saying not one +word to your daughter on the subject of me +and my impossible pretensions,' I said authoritatively, +but with a sickening knowledge +that my demand would be disregarded. 'I +am sensitive enough and humble enough on +the score of my own disadvantages, I admit. +But I am not a miserable wreck of humanity +who would take what perfunctory favours a<span class="pagenum">[48]</span> +woman would throw to him, and be satisfied. +I am a man with powers of loving that any +woman might be proud to excite; and no girl +shall ever be my wife who does not feel of +her own accord, and show, as an innocent +girl can, that I have done her a honour in +loving her which she is bound to pay back +by loving me with all her might.'</p> + +<p>And much excited by my own unexpected +burst of unreserve, but somewhat ashamed +of having rather bullied a poor creature who, +however she might assume the high hand +with me, was after all but an unprotected and +plucky little woman, I held out my hand +with apologetic meekness and prepared to go. +Mrs. Ellmer shook my hand limply and +showed a disposition to whimper.</p> + +<p>'Don't worry yourself and don't bother—I +mean—er—don't talk to the child. It will +come all right. She's hardly grown up yet; +there's plenty of time for half-a-dozen princely<span class="pagenum">[49]</span> +suitors to turn up. And what do you say to +taking her once a week to Aberdeen and +giving her some good music lessons? It +will distract her thoughts a bit, and do you +both good.'</p> + +<p>This suggestion diverted the little woman's +tears, and her face softened with a kindly +impulse towards me.</p> + +<p>'You are very good, Mr. Maude, you +really are,' she said in farewell as I left +her.</p> + +<p>And though I was grateful for this <i>amende</i>, +I should have been more pleased if I could +have felt assured that she would not, in default +of Mr. Scott, tease her daughter with +recommendations to get used to the idea of +myself in the capacity of lover.</p> + +<p>Of course after this interview I was more +shy than ever of meeting Babiole, and even +when, on the second evening afterwards, I +saw her standing in the rose garden, apparently<span class="pagenum">[50]</span> +waiting for me to come and speak to +her, I pretended not to see her, and after +examining the sky as if to make out the signs +by which one might predict the weather of +the morrow, I turned back to finish my cigar +in the drive. But the evening after that +I found on my table a great bowl full of +flowers from her own private garden, and on +the following afternoon, while I was writing +a letter, there came pattering little steps in +the hall and a knock at my open study door.</p> + +<p>'Come in,' said I, feeling that I had gone +purple and that the thumping of my heart +must sound as loudly as a traction engine in +the road outside.</p> + +<p>Babiole came in very quietly, with a +bright flush on her face and shy eyes. Her +hands were full of tiny wild flowers, and +among them was one little sprig carefully +tied up with ribbon.</p> + +<p>'I found a plant of white heather this<span class="pagenum">[51]</span> +morning on one of the hills by the side of +the Gairn,' said she quickly. 'You know +they say it is so rare that some Highlanders +never see any all their lives. It brings luck +they say.'</p> + +<p>'Why do you bring it to me then?' I +asked, as she put the little blossom on the +table beside me. 'You should keep luck for +yourself, and not waste it on a person who +doesn't deserve any.'</p> + +<p>She had nothing to say to this, so she +only gave the flower a little push towards me +to intimate that I was to enter into possession +without delay. I took it up and stuck it in +the buttonhole of my old coat.</p> + +<p>'It has brought me luck already, you see, +since this is the first visit I have had from +you for I don't know how long,' I said, looking +up at her, and noticing at once with a +pang that she had grown in ten days paler +and altogether less radiant.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[52]</span></p> + +<p>She blushed deeply at this, and sliding +down on to her knees, put her arms round +Ta-ta, and kissed the collie's ears.</p> + +<p>'Ta-ta has missed you awfully,' I went on; +'she told me yesterday that you never take +her out on the hills now, and that her digestion +is suffering in consequence. She says +her tail is losing all its old grand sweep for +want of change of air.'</p> + +<p>Babiole smoothed the dog's coat affectionately.</p> + +<p>'I haven't been out much lately,' she said +in a low voice; 'there has been a great deal +to do in the cottage, and here too. I've +been hemming some curtains for Janet, and +helping mamma to make pickles. Oh, I've +been very busy, indeed.'</p> + +<p>'And I suppose all this amazing superabundance +of work is over at last, since you +can find time to come and pay calls of ceremony +on chance acquaintances.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[53]</span></p> + +<p>She looked up at me reproachfully. My +spirits had been rising ever since she came +in, and I would only laugh at her.</p> + +<p>'I'm sure it is quite time those curtains +were hemmed and those pickles were made, +so that you can have a chance to go back to +Craigendarroch and look about for those +roses you've left there.'</p> + +<p>'Roses! Oh, do I look white then?' +And she began to rub her cheeks with her +hands to hide the blush that rose to them.</p> + +<p>'Has your mother said anything to you +about Aberdeen and the music lessons?'</p> + +<p>'Yes.' She looked up with a loving +smile.</p> + +<p>I had turned my chair round to the fireplace, +where a little glimmer of fire was burning; +for it was a wet cool day. Babiole had +seated herself on a high cloth-covered footstool, +and Ta-ta sat between us, looking from +the one to the other and wagging her tail to<span class="pagenum">[54]</span> +congratulate us on our return to the old terms +of friendship. The sky outside was growing +lighter towards evening, and the sun was +peeping out in a tearful and shamefaced way +from behind the rain-clouds. The girl and +the sun together had made a great illumination +in the old study, though they were not +at their brightest.</p> + +<p>'Well, and how do you like the idea?'</p> + +<p>'It is quite perfect, like all your ideas for +making other people happy.'</p> + +<p>'I'm afraid I don't always succeed very +well.'</p> + +<p>This she took as a direct accusation, and +she bent her head very low away from me.</p> + +<p>'Has your mother been talking to you, +Babiole?'</p> + +<p>'Yes'—as a guilty admission.</p> + +<p>'What did she say?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, she talked and talked. That was +why I didn't like to come and see you. You<span class="pagenum">[55]</span> +see, though I told her she didn't understand, +and that whatever you thought must +be right, yet hearing all those things made +me feel that I—I couldn't come in the old +way. And then at last I missed you so—that +I thought I would dash in and—get it +over.'</p> + +<p>From which I gathered that Mrs. Ellmer +had babbled out the whole substance of our +interview, and coloured it according to her +lights, so I ventured—</p> + +<p>'Didn't you feel at all angry with me for +something I said—something I did?'</p> + +<p>A pause. I could see nothing of her face, +for she was most intent upon making a beautifully +straight parting with my ink-stained +old ivory paper-knife down the back of +Ta-ta's head.</p> + +<p>'I had no right to be angry,' she said at +last, in a quivering voice, 'and besides—I am +afraid—that what you said will come true.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[56]</span></p> + +<p>And the tears began to fall upon her busy +fingers. I put my hand very gently upon +her brown hair and could feel the thrill sent +through her whole frame by a valiant struggle +to repress an outburst of grief.</p> + +<p>'You are afraid then that——' And I +waited.</p> + +<p>'That he will never think of me again,' +she sobbed; and unable any longer to repress +her feelings, she sat at my feet for +some minutes quietly crying.</p> + +<p>I hoped that the distress which could find +this childlike outlet would be only a transient +one, and I thought it best for her to let +her tears flow unrestrainedly, as I was sure +she had no chance of doing under the sharp +maternal eyes. I continued to smooth her +hair sympathetically until by a great effort +she conquered herself and dried her eyes.</p> + +<p>'I am a great baby,' she said indignantly; +'as if I could hope that a very clever accomplished<span class="pagenum">[57]</span> +man, whom all the world is talking +about, would be able to remember an +ignorant girl like me, when once he had +got back to London.'</p> + +<p>'Well, and you must pull yourself together +and forget him,' I said—I hope not +savagely.</p> + +<p>But there came a great change over her +face, and she said almost solemnly—</p> + +<p>'No, I don't want to do that—even if I +could. I want to remember all he told me +about art, and about ideals, and to become +an accomplished woman, so that I may meet +him some day, and he may be quite proud +that it was he who inspired me.'</p> + +<p>So Mr. Scott had known how, by a little +dash and plausibility, and by deliberately +playing upon her emotions, to crown my +work and to appropriate to himself the credit +and the reward of it all.</p> + +<p>But after this enthusiastic declaration<span class="pagenum">[58]</span> +the light faded again out of her sensitive +face.</p> + +<p>'It seems such a long, long time to wait +before that can happen,' she said mournfully.</p> + +<p>And a remarkably poor ambition to live +upon, I thought to myself.</p> + +<p>'And do you think Mr. Scott's approbation +is worth troubling your head about if, +after all his enthusiasm about you, he forgets +you as soon as you are out of his sight?' I +asked rather bitterly.</p> + +<p>Cut at this suggestion, corresponding so +exactly with her own fears, she almost broke +down again. It was in a broken voice that +she answered—</p> + +<p>'I can't think hardly about him; when I +do it only makes me break my heart afterwards, +and I long to see him to ask his +pardon for being so harsh. He was fond of +me while he was here, I couldn't expect more<span class="pagenum">[59]</span> +than that of such a clever man. And he has +sent me one letter—and perhaps—I hope—he +will send me another before long.'</p> + +<p>'He has written to you?'</p> + +<p>'Yes.' As a mark of deep friendship for +me she not only let me see the envelope +(preserved in a black satin case embroidered +with pink silk) but flourished before my eyes +the precious letter itself, a mere scrap of a +note, I could see that, and not the ten-pager +of your disconsolate lover.</p> + +<p>I was seized with a great throb of impatience, +and clave the top coal of the small +fire viciously. She must get over this. I +turned the subject, for fear I should wound +her feelings by some outburst of anger +against Mr. Scott, who must indeed have +worked sedulously to leave such a deep +impression on the girl's mind.</p> + +<p>'Well, you will have to be content with +your old master's affection for the present,<span class="pagenum">[60]</span> +Babiole,' I said, when she had put her +treasure carefully away.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude!' She leant lovingly +against my knee.</p> + +<p>'And if the worst comes to the worst you +will have to marry me.'</p> + +<p>She laughed as if this were a joke in my +best manner.</p> + +<p>'Didn't your mother say anything to you +about that?' I asked, as if carrying on the +jest.</p> + +<p>Babiole blushed. 'Don't talk about it,' +she said humbly. 'I lost my temper, and +spoke disrespectfully to her for the first time. +I told her she ought to be ashamed of herself, +after all you have done for us.'</p> + +<p>Evidently she thought the idea originated +with her mother, and was pressed upon me +against my inclination. Seeing that I should +gain nothing by undeceiving her, I laughed +the matter off, and we drifted into a talk<span class="pagenum">[61]</span> +about the garden, and the croup among Mr. +Blair's bare-footed children at the Mill o' +Sterrin a mile away.</p> + +<p>According to all precedent among lovelorn +maidens, Babiole ought to have got +over her love malady as a child gets over the +measles, or else she ought to have dwindled +into 'the mere shadow of her former self' +and to have found a refined consolation in +her beloved hills. But instead of following +either of these courses, the little maid began +to evince more and more the signs of a +marked change, which showed itself chiefly +in an inordinate thirst for work of every +kind. She began by a renewed and feverish +devotion to her studies with me, and +assiduous practice on my piano whenever I +was out, to get the fullest possible benefit +from her music lessons at Aberdeen. This, +I thought, was only the outcome of her expressed +desire to become an accomplished<span class="pagenum">[62]</span> +woman. But shortly afterwards she relieved +her mother of the whole care of the cottage, +filling up her rare intervals of time in helping +Janet. Walks were given up, with the exception +of a short duty-trot each day to Knock +Castle or the Mill o' Sterrin and back again. +When I remonstrated, telling her she would +lose her health, she answered restlessly—</p> + +<p>'Oh, I hate walking, it is more tiring than +all the work—much more tiring! And one +gets quite as much air in the garden as on +Craigendarroch, without catching cold.'</p> + +<p>She was always perfectly sweet and good +with me, but she confessed to me sometimes, +with tears in her eyes, that she was growing +impatient and irritable with her mother. I +had waited as eagerly as the girl herself for +another letter from Fabian Scott, but when +the hope of receiving one had died away, I +did not dare to say anything about the sore +subject.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[63]</span></p> + +<p>About the middle of December she broke +down. It was only a cold, she said, that +kept her in the cottage and even forced her +to lay aside all her incessant occupations. +But she had worked so much too hard lately +that she was not strong enough to throw it +off quickly, and day after day, when I went +to see her, I found my dear witch lying back +in the high wooden rocking-chair in the +sitting-room, with a very transparent-looking +skin, a poor little pink-tipped nose, and large, +luminous, sad eyes that had no business at all +in such a young face.</p> + +<p>On the fifth day I was alone with her, +Mrs. Ellmer having fussed off to the +kitchen about dinner. I was in a very +sentimental mood indeed, having missed my +little sunbeam frightfully. Babiole had +pushed her rocking-chair quickly away from +the table, which was covered with a map and +a heap of old play-bills. By the map lay a<span class="pagenum">[64]</span> +pencil, which the girl had laid down on my +entrance.</p> + +<p>'What were you doing when I came in?' +I asked, after a few questions about her +health.</p> + +<p>The colour came back for a moment to +her face as she answered—</p> + +<p>'I was tracing our old journeys together, +mamma's and mine; and looking at those old +play-bills with her name in them.'</p> + +<p>The occupation seemed to me dismally +suggestive.</p> + +<p>'You were wishing you were travelling +again, I suppose,' said I, in a tone which fear +caused to sound hard.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, at least not exactly,' said the +poor child, not liking to confess the feverish +longing for change and movement which had +seized upon her like a disease.</p> + +<p>I remained silent for a few minutes, +struggling with hard facts, my hands clasped<span class="pagenum">[65]</span> +together, my arms resting on my knees. +Then I said without moving, in a voice that +was husky in spite of all my efforts—</p> + +<p>'Babiole, tell me, on your word of honour, +are you thinking about that man still?'</p> + +<p>I could hear her breath coming in quick +sobs. Then she moved, and her fingers held +out something right under my averted eyes. +It was the one note she had received from +Fabian Scott, worn into four little pieces.</p> + +<p>'Look here, dear,' I said, having signified +by a bend of the head that I understood, +'do you think a man like that would be likely +to make a good husband?'</p> + +<p>'Oh no,' readily and sadly.</p> + +<p>'But you would be his wife all the same?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude!' in a low trembling +voice, as if Paradise had been suddenly +thrown open to mortal sight.</p> + +<p>I got up.</p> + +<p>'Well, well,' I said, trying to speak in a<span class="pagenum">[66]</span> +jesting tone, 'I suppose these things will be +explained in a better world!'</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer came in at that moment, +and the leave-taking for the day was easier.</p> + +<p>'Won't you stay and lunch with us, Mr. +Maude? I've just been preparing something +nice for you,' she said with disappointment.</p> + +<p>'Thank you, no, I can't stay this morning. +The fact is I have to start for London this +afternoon, and I haven't a minute to lose.'</p> + +<p>Babiole started, and her eyes, as I turned +to her to shake hands, shone like stars.</p> + +<p>'Good-bye, Mr. Maude,' she faltered, +taking my hand in both hers, and pressing it +feverishly.</p> + +<p>And she looked into my face without any +inquiry in her gaze, but with a subdued hope +and a boundless gratitude.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer insisted on coming over to the +house to see that everything was properly<span class="pagenum">[67]</span> +packed for me. As I left the cottage with +her I looked back, and saw the little face, +with its weird expression of eagerness, +pressed against the window.</p> + +<p>It was an awful thing I was going to do, +certainly. But what sacrifice would not the +worst of us make to preserve the creature we +love best in the world from dying before our +eyes?</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep16.jpg" width="130" height="134" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[68]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch17.jpg" width="400" height="119" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVII">CHAPTER XVII</h2> + + +<p>I arrived at King's Cross at 8.15 on the +following morning, and after breakfasting at +the Midland Hotel, went straight to Fabian +Scott's chambers, in a street off the Hay-market. +It was then a little after half-past +ten.</p> + +<p>Fabian, who was at breakfast, received me +very heartily, and was grieved that I had not +come direct to him.</p> + +<p>'What would you have said,' he asked, 'if +I had gone to have breakfast at the Invercauld +Arms in Ballater, instead of coming on +to you?'</p> + +<p>'That's not quite the same thing, my<span class="pagenum">[69]</span> +impetuous young friend. You didn't expect +me, for one thing, and London is a place +where one must be a little more careful of +one's behaviour than in the wilds.'</p> + +<p>'No, that is true, I did not expect you; +though when I heard your name, I was so +pleased I thought I must have been living +on the expectation for the last month.'</p> + +<p>'Out of sight, out of mind, according to +the simple old saying.'</p> + +<p>I was looking about me, examining my +friend's surroundings, feeling discouraged by +the portraits of beautiful women, photographs +on the mantelpiece, paintings on the walls, +the invitation cards stuck in the looking-glass, +the crested envelopes, freshly torn, on +the table; the room, which seemed effeminately +luxurious, after my sombre, threadbare, +old study, gave no evidence of bachelor +desolation. It was just untidy enough to +prove that 'when a man's single he lives at<span class="pagenum">[70]</span> +his ease,' for an opera hat and a soiled glove +lay on the chair, a new French picture, which +a wife would have tabooed, was propped up +against the back of another, and on the +mantelpiece was a royal disorder, in which a +couple of pink clay statuettes of pierrettes, +by Van der Straeten, showed their piquant, +high-hatted little heads, and their befrilled, +high-lifted little skirts above letters, ash +trays, cigarette cases, 'parts' in MS., +sketches, a white tie, a woman's long glove, +the 'proof' of an article on 'The Cathedrals +of Spain,' and a heap of other things. In +the centre stood a handsome Chippendale +clock, surmounted by signed photographs of +Sarah Bernhardt and a much admired +Countess. Fresh hot-house flowers filled +two delicate Venetian glass vases on the +table, long-leaved green plants stood in the +windows. I began to suspect that the +feminine influence in Fabian Scott's life was<span class="pagenum">[71]</span> +strong enough already, and I felt that any +idea of an appeal to a bachelor's sense of +loneliness must straightway be given up. +There was another point, however, on which +I felt more sanguine. Fabian had no private +means, his tastes were evidently expensive, +and he had had no engagement since the +summer. Having made up my mind that to +marry my little Babiole to this man was the +only thing that would restore her to health +and hope (about happiness I could but be +doubtful), I could not afford to shrink from +the means.</p> + +<p>I had been listening with one ear to +Fabian, who never wanted much encouragement +to talk. He treated me to a long +monologue on the low ebb to which art of all +kinds had sunk in England, to the prevailing +taste for burlesque in literature, and on the +stage, and for 'Little Toddlekins' on the +walls of picture galleries.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[72]</span></p> + +<p>'I thought burlesque had gone out,' I +suggested.</p> + +<p>He turned upon me fiercely, having +finished his breakfast, and being occupied in +striding up and down the room.</p> + +<p>'Not at all,' he said emphatically. 'What +is farcical comedy but burlesque of the most +vicious kind? Burlesque of domestic life, +throwing ridicule on virtuous wives and +jealous husbands, making heroes and heroines +of men and women of loose morals? +What is melodrama but burlesque of incidents +and of passions, fatiguing to the eye +and stupefying to the intellect? I repeat, +art in England is a dishonoured corpse, +and the man who dares to call himself an +artist, and to talk about his art with any +more reverence than a grocer feels for his +sanded sugar, or a violin-seller for his sham +Cremonas, is treated with the derision +one would show to a modern Englishman<span class="pagenum">[73]</span> +who should fall down and worship a +mummy.'</p> + +<p>All which, being interpreted, meant that +Mr. Fabian Scott saw no immediate prospect +of an engagement good enough for his +deserts.</p> + +<p>'Well, even if art is in a bad way, artists +still seem to rub on very comfortably,' I said, +glancing round the room.</p> + +<p>Fabian swept the place with a contemptuous +glance from right to left, as if it had +been an ill-kept stable.</p> + +<p>'One finds a corner to lay one's head in, +of course,' he admitted disdainfully; 'but +even that may be gone to-morrow,' he added +darkly, plunging one hand into a suggestive +heap of letters and papers on a side table as +he passed it.</p> + +<p>'Bills?' I asked cheerfully.</p> + +<p>He gave me a tragic nod and strode on.</p> + +<p>'You should marry,' I ventured boldly,<span class="pagenum">[74]</span> +'some girl with seven or eight hundred +a year, for instance, with a little love of art +on her own account to support yours.'</p> + +<p>Fabian stopped in front of me with his +arms folded. He was the most unstagey +actor on the stage, and the stagiest off I ever +met. He gave a short laugh, tossing back +his head.</p> + +<p>'A girl with seven hundred a year marry +<i>me</i>, an <i>artist</i>! My dear fellow, you have +been in Sleepy Hollow too long. You form +your opinions of life on the dark ages.'</p> + +<p>'No I don't,' I said very quietly. 'I +know a girl with eight hundred a year, who +likes you well enough to marry you if you +were to ask her.'</p> + +<p>'These rapid modern railway journeys—A +heavy breakfast—with perhaps a glass of +cognac on an empty stomach'—murmured +Fabian softly, gazing at me with kindly +compassion.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[75]</span></p> + +<p>'She is seventeen, the daughter of an +artist, an artist herself by every instinct. +Her name is Babiole Ellmer,' I went on +composedly.</p> + +<p>Fabian started.</p> + +<p>'Babiole Ellmer! Pretty little Babiole!' +he cried, with affectionate interest at once +apparent in his manner; 'but,' he hesitated +and flushed slightly, 'I don't understand. +The little girl—dear little thing she was, +I remember her quite well, with her coquettish +Scotch cap and her everlasting blushes. +She was no heiress then, certainly.'</p> + +<p>A bitter little thought of the different +manner in which he would have treated her +in that case crossed my mind. 'I've adopted +her. I allow her eight hundred a year +during my life, and of course afterwards——'</p> + +<p>I nodded; he nodded. It was all understood. +Fabian had grown suddenly quiet +and thoughtful, and I knew that Babiole had<span class="pagenum">[76]</span> +gained her precious admirer's heart. He +liked her, that was my comfort, my excuse. +His face had lighted up at the remembrance +of her; and as she would bring with her +an income large enough to prevent his being +even burdened with her maintenance, I felt +that I was heaping upon his head too much +joy for a mortal to deserve, and that he +accepted it more calmly than was meet. It +is a curious experience to have to be thankful +to see another person receive, almost +with indifference, a prize for which one +would gladly have given twenty years of life.</p> + +<p>'She is a most beautiful and charming +girl,' he said, after a pause, in a new tone of +respect. Eight hundred a year and 'expectations' +put such a splendid mantle of dignity +on the shoulders of a little wild damsel in +a serge frock. 'Do you know, I thought, +Harry, you would end by marrying her +yourself!'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[77]</span></p> + +<p>I only laughed and said, oh no, I was a +confirmed bachelor. But it was in my mind +to tell him how much obliged I felt for his +contribution towards my domestic felicity.</p> + +<p>I presently said that I had some business +to transact, that I had to pay a visit to my +lawyer. This young man's complacent beatitude +since he had discovered a not unpleasant +way out of his difficulties was beginning to +jar upon me furiously. So we made an +appointment for the evening, and I took +myself off.</p> + +<p>When I made my excuse to Fabian I +really had some idea in my mind of calling +upon a solicitor and having a deed drawn up, +settling £800 a year on Babiole. But I +reflected, as soon as I was alone, that I +should make a better guardian than the law, +and that I should do as well to keep control +over her allowance. I would alter my will +on her wedding-day, just as I must have<span class="pagenum">[78]</span> +done if it had been my own. A trace of +cowardice strengthened this resolution, for I +look upon a visit to a lawyer much as I do +upon a visit to a dentist, with this difference, +that the latter really does sometimes relieve +you of your pain, while the former relieves +you of nothing but your money.</p> + +<p>So I found myself wandering about my +old haunts, glancing up at the windows of +clubs of which I had once been a member, +and feeling a strong desire to enter their +doors once more, and see what change eight +years had brought about in my old acquaintances. +I had long ago lost all acute sensitiveness +about my own altered appearance; +there was so very little in common between +the 'Handsome Harry' of twenty-four and +the scarred gray-haired backwoodsman of +thirty-two, that I looked upon them as two +distinct persons, and I remained for a few +moments confounded by my exceeding<span class="pagenum">[79]</span> +astonishment, when a familiar voice cried, +'Hallo, Maude!' and I found my hand in +the grasp of an important-looking gentleman, +who, as a slim lad, had been one of my +constant companions. He now represented +a small Midland town in Parliament, in the +Conservative interest, seemed amazed that +I had not heard of his speech in favour of +increasing the incomes of bishops, and +confided to me his hopes of getting an +appointment in the Foreign Office when 'his +party' came into power again. I said I +hoped he would, but I inwardly desired that +it might not be a post of great responsibility, +for I found my friend addle-patted to an +extent I had never dreamed of in the old +days, when we backed the same horses and +loved the same ladies. He insisted on taking +me into the Carlton, where I met some +more of the old set, who all seemed glad to +see me, but with whom I now felt curiously<span class="pagenum">[80]</span> +out of sympathy. It was not so much that +my politics had veered round, as that, living +an independent and isolated life, I was not +bound to hold fast to traditions and prejudices, +like these men who were in the +thick of the fight. I had gone into the club +seeking distraction from my thoughts, trying +to reawaken my old sympathies. I went out +again after an hour of animated and friendly +talk with my acquaintances of eight years +ago, more solitary, more isolated than ever. +Yet when they had tried to persuade me +to come back to life again, being all of +opinion that existence by one's self in the +Highlands was tantamount to a state of +suspended animation, I had answered it was +not unlikely that I might do so.</p> + +<p>For the game must be carried on still +when Babiole was married; but not with the +old rules.</p> + +<p>I had another interview with Fabian<span class="pagenum">[81]</span> +that evening, for we dined at the Criterion +together. It was arranged that he should +spend Christmas at Larkhall with me, and it +was tacitly understood that he would use this +opportunity of assuring Miss Ellmer that her +image had never been absent from his mind, +and that he could have no rest until she had +promised to become his wife at an early date.</p> + +<p>I left King's Cross by the nine o'clock +train that night, having decided on this +course suddenly, when I found I was in too +restless a mood to be able to get either sleep +or entertainment in London. Arriving at +Aberdeen at 2.15 on the following afternoon, +I caught the three o'clock train to Ballater, +and got to Larkhall before six. It was quite +dark by that time, and the lamp was shining +through the blind of the sitting-room window +at the cottage. I knocked at the door, which +was opened by Babiole; she held a candle +in her left hand, and by its light I saw her<span class="pagenum">[82]</span> +eyes and cheeks were burning with excitement.</p> + +<p>'I knew your knock,' she said tremulously, +as she gave me a hot dry hand, 'though I +did not expect you so soon.'</p> + +<p>Here Mrs. Ellmer rushed out of the +sitting-room, fell upon me, and insisted upon +my sitting down to tea with them.</p> + +<p>'And how have you been since I left?' I +said to the girl.</p> + +<p>'Don't ask, Mr. Maude,' interrupted +her mother. 'I'm sure you would have felt +flattered if you could have seen her. She's +been just like a wild bird in a cage, never +still for two minutes, and half the time with +her face glued to the window, cold as it is; +as if that would make you come back any +faster.'</p> + +<p>Babiole hung her head; she may have +blushed, poor child, but her cheeks had been +so hot and burning ever since my entrance,<span class="pagenum">[83]</span> +that no deepening of their colour could be +noticed. I concluded that she had given no +hint to her mother of her surmises concerning +the object of my journey.</p> + +<p>'Well,' said I, 'leading such solitary lives +as we do up here, of course the absence of +one person makes a great difference. In +fact, my own solitude has begun to prey +upon me so much, that—that I rushed up to +London on purpose to try to find a friend to +spend Christmas up here, and make things +livelier for us all.'</p> + +<p>'Well,' said Mrs. Ellmer, 'that is an idea, +to be sure. I confess I have been eaten up +with wonder at your suddenly going off like +that, and have been guessing myself quite +silly as to the reason of it.'</p> + +<p>'And did Babiole guess too?' I asked +lightly, looking at the girl, who sat very +quietly, with her eyes fixed upon my face.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, she has given up all such childish<span class="pagenum">[84]</span> +amusements as that,' said Mrs. Ellmer rather +sadly. 'There would never be so much as a +laugh to be heard in the place now if I didn't +keep up my spirits.'</p> + +<p>'Well, she must open her mouth now, at +any rate. Now, Babiole, can you guess +who it is who is coming to spend Christmas +with us?'</p> + +<p>In an instant the strained expression left +her face, a great light flashed into her eyes, +and seemed to irradiate every feature.</p> + +<p>'I think you have guessed,' said I gently.</p> + +<p>She got up quickly and opened the sideboard, +as if looking for something; but I +think, from the attitude of her bent head, +and from the solemn peace that was on her +face when she returned to us, that she had +followed her first impulse to breathe a silent +thanksgiving to God.</p> + +<p>'Will you have some quince-marmalade, +Mr. Maude?' she asked, as she came back<span class="pagenum">[85]</span> +to the table with a little glass dish in her +hand.</p> + +<p>And she leaned over my shoulder to help +me to the preserve, while her mother, who +had guessed with great glee the name of my +Christmas visitor, was still overflowing with +exultation at the great news. For she did +not once doubt the object of his coming, +which, indeed, I had suggested by a delicate +archness in which I took some pride.</p> + +<p>Shortly after tea I rose to go, being +tired out with my two rapid and sleepless +journeys. Mrs. Ellmer bade me good-night +with kind concern for my fatigue.</p> + +<p>'Indeed, I don't think travelling agrees +with you, or else you tried to do too much in +your short visit, for you look drawn, and +worn, and ill, and ten years older than when +you started,' she said solicitously.</p> + +<p>'Yes, I'm getting too old for dissipation,' +I said lightly.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[86]</span></p> + +<p>Babiole was standing by the door; she +was watching me affectionately, and had +evidently some private and particular communication +to make to me, by the impatience +with which she rattled the door-handle. At +last I had shaken hands with Mrs. Ellmer +and had got out into the passage. The girl +shut the room door quickly and threw herself +upon my arm, giving at last free rein to her +excitement and passionate gratitude. The +gaze of her pure eyes, shining, not with +earthly passion, but with the ecstatic light of +a dying saint, who sees the heavens opening +to receive him, struck a new fear into +my heart. The happiness this child-woman +looked for was something which +Fabian Scott, artist though he was, with +splendid verbal aspirations and chivalrous +devotions, would not even understand. As +she poured forth soft whispering thanks for +my goodness—she knew it was all my doing,<span class="pagenum">[87]</span> +she said; she had even guessed beforehand +what I was going to do—I felt my eyes grow +moist and my voice husky.</p> + +<p>'My child,' I whispered back, 'don't +thank me. It hurts me, for I am not sure +that I am not bringing upon you a great and +terrible misfortune.'</p> + +<p>'Don't be afraid,' she said, shaking her +head with that far-off look in her eyes +which told so plainly that she saw into a life +which could not be lived on earth; 'you +think I am romantic, fanciful; that I expect +more from this man than his love can +ever give me. Oh, but you don't know,' and +she looked straight up into my face, with that +piercing dreamy earnestness that made her +see, not the yearning tenderness of the eyes +into which she looked, but only the kind +guardian's mind to be convinced. 'You +don't know how well I understand. He +would never have thought of me again if you<span class="pagenum">[88]</span> +had not gone to him and said—I don't know +what, but just the thing you knew would +touch him, with pity or with pride that a poor +little girl could love him so.' I almost +shivered at the dreary distance which lay +between this surmise and the truth. 'But I +don't mind; I know that I love him so much, +that when he knows and feels what I would +do for him, it will make him happy. You +know,' she went on more earnestly still, 'it +isn't for him to love me that I have been +craving and praying all this time, it was for a +sight of his face, or for a letter that he had +written himself with his own hand.'</p> + +<p>She took my sympathy with her for +granted now, and poured this confession out +to me quite simply, feeling sure that I understood, +as indeed I did to my cost. But after +this I thought it wise to try to calm down +this exultation of feeling, by certain grandmotherly +platitudes about the difficulties of<span class="pagenum">[89]</span> +married life, the disillusions one had to suffer, +the forbearance one had to show, to all of +which she listened very submissively and +well, but with an evident conviction that she +knew quite as much about the matter as I did. +Then I bade her good-night, and she stood +in the porch, wrapt up in her plaid, until I had +reached my own door, for I heard her clear +young voice sing out a last 'good-night' as I +went in.</p> + +<p>Poor little girl! She could not know how +her gratitude cut me to the heart.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep17.jpg" width="130" height="129" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[90]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch18.jpg" width="400" height="115" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVIII">CHAPTER XVIII</h2> + + +<p>The ten days before Christmas we spent +on the whole happily. Mrs. Ellmer burst +into tears on my informing her of the allowance +I proposed to make to her daughter, +and sobbed out hysterically, 'My own child +to be able to keep a carriage! Oh! if poor +mamma could have known!'</p> + +<p>This announcement, when made to Babiole +by her mother, was the one drawback to her +happiness. She implored me to change my +mind, little guessing, poor child, what other +change that would have involved. I was +very angry with Mrs. Ellmer for spoiling the +girl's perfect bliss by this vulgar detail, which<span class="pagenum">[91]</span> +it had been necessary to impart to the mother, +but which I had particularly desired to withhold +for the present from the daughter's more +sensitive ears. I had hard work to comfort +her, but I succeeded at last by reminding her +that she was under my guardianship, and +that it was my pride to see my ward cut a +handsome figure in the world.</p> + +<p>I almost think, if it does not sound far-fetched +to say so, that the girl enjoyed those +ten days with me, prattling about her lover +and endowing him with gifts of beauty and +nobility and wisdom which neither he nor +any man I ever met possessed, more than +the fortnight of feverish joy in his actual +presence which followed. Not that Fabian +was disappointing as a <i>fiancé</i>; far from it. +He had the gift of falling into raptures +easily, and he fell in love with his destined +bride as promptly as heart could desire. But +the imaginative quality, which formed so<span class="pagenum">[92]</span> +important a feature of the young girl's +romantic passion, caused her at first to +shrink from his vehement caresses as at a +blow to her ideal, while on the other hand +the light touch of his fingers would send a +convulsive shiver through her whole frame.</p> + +<p>How did I know all this? I can scarcely +tell. And yet it is true, and I learnt it early +in Fabian's short visit. As the savage knows +the signs of the sky, so did I, living by +myself, study to some purpose the gentle +nature whose smiles made my happiness.</p> + +<p>When Fabian left us at the end of a +fortnight, it was settled that the wedding +was to take place in six weeks' time at +Newcastle. I had a prejudice against my +ward's being married in Scotland, where I +conceived, rightly or wrongly, that a certain +looseness of the marriage-tie prevailed. On +the other hand, I would not let her go to +London to be married, being of opinion that<span class="pagenum">[93]</span> +such a bride was worth a journey. So Mrs. +Ellmer having some relations at Newcastle, +she and her daughter spent there the three +weeks immediately preceding the ceremony. +I missed them dreadfully during those three +weeks, and was not without a vague hope +somewhere down in the depths of my heart +that something unforeseen might happen to +prevent the marriage. But when I arrived +at Newcastle on the evening before the +appointed day, Fabian was already there, +everybody was in the highest spirits; and +Mrs. Ellmer's Newcastle cousins, rather +proud of the position in 'society' which +they were assured the bride was going to +hold, had undertaken to provide a handsome +wedding breakfast.</p> + +<p>I gave her away next morning, in the old +church with its crowned tower which they +now call a cathedral. I think perhaps she +guessed something more than I would have<span class="pagenum">[94]</span> +had her know in the vestry when the service +was over, when I asked her for a kiss and fell +a-trembling as she granted it; at any rate she +turned very white and grave in the midst of +her happiness, and thenceforth dropped her +voice to a humble half-whisper whenever she +spoke to me. She had been married in her +travelling dress, an innovation rather alarming +to Newcastle; but she looked so pretty in her +first silk gown—a dark brown—and in the +long sealskin mantle that had been my wedding +present, that I think some of the damsels +at the breakfast decided that this fashion was +one to be followed.</p> + +<p>The bride and bridegroom left us early, +more, I think, because Fabian found both +breakfast and speeches heavy than because +there was any need to hurry for the train. +I having no such excuse, and being treated as +a great personage with a Monte-Christo-like +habit of dowering marriageable maidens, was<span class="pagenum">[95]</span> +forced to remain. I made a speech, I forget +what about, which was received with laughter +and enthusiasm. The only things I remember +about the people were the strong impression +of dull and commonplace provincialism which +their speech and manner made upon me, and +that on the other hand, a little quiet maiden +of seventeen or so, who wore a very rusty +frock and was awkwardly shy, astonished me +by quoting Tacitus in the original, and +proved to be quite an appallingly learned +person.</p> + +<p>When I could get away I bade farewell to +Mrs. Ellmer, who touched my heart by crying +over my departure. She had made arrangements +to stay in Newcastle with an aunt who +was getting old, and who felt inclined for the +cheap charity of discharging her servant and +taking the active and industrious little woman +to live with her. Mrs. Ellmer was to take +care of Ta-ta till my return. Outside the<span class="pagenum">[96]</span> +door Ferguson met me with my old portmanteau +ready on a cab. In five minutes I +was off on my travels again.</p> + +<p>I was out of England altogether for four +years, during which, among other little expeditions, +I traversed America from the southernmost +point of Terra del Fuego to the land of +the Eskimos. I heard nothing of Babiole or her +husband, nor did I make any efforts to hear +anything about them, being of opinion that a +man and his wife settle down to life together +best without any of that outside interference +which it is so difficult for those who love them +to withhold, when they see things going amiss +with the young household. At the end of +four years, I had said to myself, they will +have obtained a rudimentary knowledge of +each other's character. Babiole will be a +woman and will no longer see the reflex of +the divinity in any man; the experiment of +marriage will be in working order, and one<span class="pagenum">[97]</span> +will be able to judge the results. I had not +forgotten them, indeed I had thought of them +continually. I had taken care that Babiole's +allowance was regularly paid; but my second +sentimental disappointment having found me +some sort of a misanthrope, had cured me of +my misanthropy; and a freer intercourse with +men and women, and a particular study of +such married couples as I met convinced me +that the mutual attraction of man and woman +towards each other is so great that merely +negative qualities in the one sex count as +virtues in the eyes of the other, and that a +husband and wife who will only abstain from +being actively disagreeable to one another +are in a fair way towards attaining a gentle +mutual enthusiasm which will make the +grayest of human lives seem fair. Now +Babiole could never be actively disagreeable +to anybody; and surely not even a disappointed +artist, and no artist is so disappointed<span class="pagenum">[98]</span> +as he who is all but the most successful, could +be actively disagreeable to Babiole.</p> + +<p>But my philosophy had weak points, which +I was soon abruptly to discover.</p> + +<p>It was in the month of March that I came +back to England and put up at the Bedford +Hotel, Covent Garden. Fabian and his wife +lived in a flat at Bayswater, the address of +which I had taken care to obtain. Although +I was much excited at the thought of seeing +them, I was by no means anxious to anticipate +the meeting, which I had decided should +not take place until tailor and hatter and +hair-dresser had done their best to remove all +traces of barbarism. My beard I had decided +to retain, but it must be now the beard of +Bond Street, and not that of the prairies. In +the meantime I took a solitary stall at the +theatre where Fabian was playing, with some +vague idea of gaining a premonitory insight +into the course of his matrimonial career.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[99]</span></p> + +<p>A keen sensation of something which I +regret to say was not wholly disappointment +shot through me as I perceived that, so far +from having acquired any touch of the comfortable +and commonplace which is the outward +and visible sign of an inward domestic +tranquillity, Fabian was leaner, more haggard +than ever. He had grown more petulant +and irritable, too, as I gathered from his +annoyance with a large and lively party of +very well dressed people who sat in one of +the boxes nearest the stage, and who, without +transgressing such lax bonds of good breeding +as usually control the occupants of stalls and +boxes, evidently found more entertainment in +each other than in the people on the stage.</p> + +<p>I glanced up at the box, following instinctively +the direction of Fabian's eyes, and +saw an ugly but clever-looking young man +very much occupied with a pale sad-faced +lady; two very young men and two other<span class="pagenum">[100]</span> +ladies, both with the dead-white complexions +and black dresses which have been of late so +popular with the half world and its imitators, +formed the rest of the occupants.</p> + +<p>Before the end of the first scene in which +he was engaged, Fabian had recognised me, +and in the pause between the acts a note from +him was brought to me by one of the attendants +asking me to 'go and speak to Babiole, +and to come home to supper with them.'</p> + +<p>Speak to Babiole! Why, then, she must +be in the theatre! I got up and peered about +with my glasses; but though I could see well +into every part of the house, I could discover +no one in the least like my little witch of the +hills. After a careful inspection, I decided +that she must be one of three or four ladies +who were hidden by the curtains of the boxes +in which they sat. In this belief I had resumed +my seat and given up the search when, +just as the curtain was rising upon the next<span class="pagenum">[101]</span> +act, and I glanced up again at the people +who had excited Fabian's wrath, a look, a +movement of the pale sad-looking lady suddenly +attracted my attention. I raised my +glasses again in consternation; for, changed +as she was, with all her pretty colour faded, +the bright light gone from her eyes, the soft +outlines of her little face altered and sharpened, +there was now no possibility of mistaking the +melancholy and listless lady who was still +absorbing the attention of the clever-looking +man beside her for any other than my old +pupil.</p> + +<p>Through the remaining two acts of the +piece I scarcely dared to look at her; everything +seemed to indicate the total failure of +the match I had made. I wanted to escape +for that night any further indictment than my +fears brought against me, but I was scarcely +outside the theatre after the performance +when a hand was laid upon my shoulder in<span class="pagenum">[102]</span> +the crowd, and Fabian, who had hurried +round to meet me, led me back into the +building and presented me to his wife. The +young fellow who had been so devoted in the +box was with her still, together with one of +the ladies in black. Fabian's manner to me +was as emphatically cordial as ever, and +showed no trace of a grievance against me; +but Babiole's was utterly changed. She was +talking to her companion when she first caught +sight of me, as I passed through the swinging +doors with her husband, and made my way +toward her among footmen and plush-enveloped +ladies. The words she was uttering +suddenly froze on her lips, and the last vestige +of colour left her pale face as if at some sight +at least as horrible as unexpected. Before I +reached her she had recovered herself, however, +and was holding out her hand, not indeed +with the old frank pleasure, but with a very +gracious conventional welcome.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[103]</span></p> + +<p>'Fancy, my dear,' said Fabian, 'the villain +has been in the country two whole days without +thinking of calling upon us. These +sneaking ways must be punished upon the +spot, and I pronounce therefore that he be +immediately seized and carried off to supper.'</p> + +<p>I protested that I was too tired to do anything +but fall asleep.</p> + +<p>'Well, you can fall asleep at our place +just as well as at yours. And that reminds +me that you had better sleep there. We've +plenty of room, and we can send the boy for +your things.'</p> + +<p>'Thanks. It's awfully kind of you, Scott, +but I couldn't do that, I have an appointment +at——'</p> + +<p>'There that second excuse spoils it all. A +first excuse may awaken only incredulity, a +second inevitably rouses contempt. You shall +sleep where you like, but you must sup with +us.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[104]</span></p> + +<p>'You will bring Mr. Maude with you in a +hansom, then, Fabian,' said his wife, who had +not joined in the discussion, 'for Mrs. Capel +is coming with me.'</p> + +<p>Fabian, who had been only coldly civil to +Mrs. Capel, the lady in black, looked annoyed, +but had to acquiesce in these arrangements. +We saw the ladies into the brougham, Fabian +gave a curt good-night to the clever-looking +young man, and then we jumped into a hansom +and drove towards Bayswater.</p> + +<p>I confess I wished myself at the other end +of the world, especially as I began to think +that, while my hostess certainly was not +anxious for my society, my host was chiefly +actuated in his obstinate hospitality by the +desire to show that he bore me no malice. +Thus when he congratulated me on being +still a bachelor it was in such a magnanimous +tone that I found myself forced to express a +hope that he did not envy me my freedom.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[105]</span></p> + +<p>'I must not say that I do,' said he, with +more magnanimity than ever. 'Still it is but +frank to own that personal experience of marriage +has confirmed my previous convictions +instead of reversing them. In short, to put it +plainly, I found soon after my marriage, as all +men in my position must sooner or later find, +that I had to choose between being my wife's +ideal of a good husband or my own ideal of a +good artist. I found that a good woman is +twice as exacting as a divine Art; for while +Art only demands the full and free exercise of +your working faculties in her service, a woman +insists on the undivided empire of your very +thoughts; she must have a full, true, and particular +account of your dreams; you must +not run, jump, sneeze, or cough but in her +honour.'</p> + +<p>'And you chose the Art, I suppose,' I said, +trying not to speak coldly.</p> + +<p>'My dear boy, I really had no choice.<span class="pagenum">[106]</span> +Babiole and I each wanted a slave; but while +I demanded a fellow-slave in the labours of +my life, this pretty little lady only wished for +a human footstool for her pretty little feet.'</p> + +<p>'But I cannot understand. Babiole was +always as submissive as a lamb, a dog, anything +you like that is gentle and docile.'</p> + +<p>'My dear Maude, at the time you speak +of she was unwedded. Now just as the +horse, in himself a noble animal, corrupts +and depraves every man with whom he +comes in contact, from the groom to the +jockey, so does intercourse with man, the +king of creatures, speedily destroy in woman +all the traces of those good qualities with +which, in deference to the poets, we will +concede her to have been originally endowed.'</p> + +<p>'I know nothing about that,' said I +bluntly, 'but if Babiole Ellmer has been +anything short of a perfectly true-hearted<span class="pagenum">[107]</span> +wife, I will stake my solemn oath that she +has been harnessed to a damned bad husband.'</p> + +<p>I was cold and wet with overmastering +indignation, or I should not have blurted +out my opinion so coarsely. Fabian was +on fire directly, gesticulating with his hands, +glaring with his eyes, in his old impulsive +style.</p> + +<p>'Do you mean to accuse me of telling you +lies? Do you mean to insinuate that I have +not treated your ward as a gentleman should +treat his wife, especially when she is the +adopted daughter of his best friend? Do +you think I should dare to look you in +the face if I had failed in my duty towards +her?'</p> + +<p>'If you were one of the "common rabble +of humanity" you despise so much, I should +tell you you had failed in your duty very +much. As you belong to a clique which<span class="pagenum">[108]</span> +considers itself above such rules, I tell you +frankly that Art wouldn't suffer a jot if you +did neglect her, while this poor child does; +and that if you were to act like Garrick, +write like Shakespeare, and paint like +Raphael, it wouldn't excuse you for the +change between your wife on her wedding +day and your wife to-night.'</p> + +<p>'You are very severe,' said Fabian, who +was shaking with excitement and passion. +'If you are really so lost to a man's common +sense as to take it for granted already that +the fault is all on one side, you must pardon +me if I set your remarks down to the ravings +of infatuation.'</p> + +<p>There was a pause. This thrust told, for +indeed a great wave of bitter and passionate +regret at the loss beyond recall of my pretty +witch of the hills was drowning my calmer +reason and making me rude and savage +beyond endurance. We had just self-control<span class="pagenum">[109]</span> +enough left to remain silent for the remaining +few minutes of the drive, both quaking with +rage, and both ashamed, I of my explosion, +he, I hope, of the lameness of his explanations. +The hansom stopped at the mansions, +on the third floor of one of which Mr. and +Mrs. Scott lived. I jumped out first, raised +my hat, and excusing myself coldly and +formally, was hurrying away, when Fabian, +regardless of the cabman, who thought it was +a dodge, and hallooed after him, followed me +at a run, put his arm through mine, and +dragged me back again.</p> + +<p>'Can't quarrel with you, Harry,' he said +affectionately. 'Say it's all my fault if you +like, but hear both sides first. Come in, +come in I tell you.'</p> + +<p>And having given vent to his feelings in +a volley of eloquent abuse to the shouting +cabman, he tossed him his fare and led me +into the house.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[110]</span></p> + +<p>Curiously enough, the emotion which +seemed to choke me as I mounted the +stairs and stood outside the door of Babiole's +home, disappeared entirely as soon as the +door was opened to admit us. For there, +standing in the little entrance hall, at the +open door of the drawing-room, was the slim +pale lady with pleasant conventional manners, +and the pretty little meaningless laugh of a +desire to please. We followed her into the +room, which was charmingly furnished, lighted +by coloured lights, scented by foreign perfumes, +and hung with drawings and engravings +of which the mistress of the house was +very proud. She was so lively and bright, +criticised the piece in which her husband was +playing so unmercifully, and said so many +witty and amusing things during supper, that +I forgot Babiole in Mrs. Scott, and was only +recalled to a remembrance of her identity by +an occasional gesture or a tone of the voice.<span class="pagenum">[111]</span> +If I had not seen her in the theatre first +I might have thought she was a happy wife, +as, if I had not remembered the round rosy +cheeks and sparkling eyes of the little maid +of Craigendarroch, I might have admired the +piquant delicacy of the small white face before +me, in which the gray eyes looked abnormally +large and dark.</p> + +<p>After enjoying myself greatly, though not +quite unreservedly, I had risen to take leave, +when Fabian, suddenly remembering that he +had some proofs to send off which were +already overdue at a publisher's, asked me if +I would mind waiting while he finished correcting +them. It wouldn't take a minute. +He had his hand upon the door which led +from the dining-room to the little den he +called his study, when his wife, in almost +terror-struck entreaty, rushed towards him +and begged him to leave it till next day.</p> + +<p>'I can't, Bab; they must go by the first<span class="pagenum">[112]</span> +post, and you know very well I shan't be up +in time to do them.'</p> + +<p>'I'll do them for you,' she said eagerly.</p> + +<p>'No, no, don't tease,' said her husband +authoritatively, 'take Mr. Maude into the +drawing-room and play him something,' and +he pushed her off and left the room.</p> + +<p>She turned to me with a smiling shrug of +the shoulders, and said playfully, 'See what +it is to be a down-trodden wife.' Then, +leading the way into the drawing-room, and +seating herself at once at the piano, she +dashed into a lively waltz air. But it suddenly +occurred to me that she was possessed +with some strange fear of being alone with +me, and this idea broke the spell of her +brilliant manner, and reduced me to shy and +stupid silence.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[113]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch19.jpg" width="400" height="119" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIX">CHAPTER XIX</h2> + + +<p>I had sat down in a low chair near the piano, +and I remained looking at a rug under my feet +as my hostess went on playing one bright piece +after another with scarcely a pause between.</p> + +<p>'I know very well,' she said at last, 'that +you don't care for any of this music a bit. +Men call it rubbish, and affect to despise it, +just as they do high-heeled boots, dainty +millinery, and lots of other pretty frivolous +things.'</p> + +<p>'I don't despise it, I assure you. It is +very inspiriting, at least—it would chime in +well with one's feelings if one were in high +spirits.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[114]</span></p> + +<p>'Still I know you are ascribing my change +of taste in music to a great moral deterioration. +But listen——'</p> + +<p>She broke off in a gavotte she was playing, +and sang 'Auld Robin Gray' so that every +note seemed to strike on my heart. In the +old time among the hills Babiole used to sing +it to me, in a wild, sweet, bird-like voice that +thrilled and charmed me, and made me call +her my little tame nightingale; but the +song I heard now was not the same; there +was a new ring in the pathos, a plaintive +cry that seemed to reach my very soul; and +I listened holding my breath.</p> + +<p>When the last note was touched on the +piano, I raised my head with an effort and +looked at her; almost expecting, I believe, to +see tears in her eyes. She was looking at +me, curiously, with a very still face of grave +inquiry. As she met my gaze she looked +down at the keys, and began another waltz.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[115]</span></p> + +<p>'Don't play any more,' I said abruptly.</p> + +<p>She stopped, and seeming for a moment +rather embarrassed, began to turn over the +leaves of a pile of music on a chair beside her.</p> + +<p>'You have learnt to sing, I suppose,' I said +quietly. 'You know I am a Goth in musical +matters, but I can tell that.'</p> + +<p>'And of course you are going to tell me +that my fresh untutored voice gave sweeter +music than any singing-master could produce,' +said she, with almost spasmodic liveliness.</p> + +<p>'Indeed I am not. Your singing to-night +not only struck me as being infinitely better +than it used to be from a musician's point of +view, but it expressed the sentiment of the +song with a vividness that caused me acute +pain.'</p> + +<p>I had risen from my seat, and was standing +by the piano. She shot up at me one of +her old looks, a child's shy appeal for indulgence.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[116]</span></p> + +<p>'You have learnt a great deal since I saw +you last; you have become the accomplished +fascinating woman it was your ambition to +be. I have never met any one more +amusing.'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' she said slowly; 'I have fulfilled +my ambition, I suppose.' For a few minutes +she remained busy with the leaves of the +music, while I still watched her, and noticed +how the plump healthy red hands of the +mountain girl had dwindled into the slender +white ones of the London lady. Then she +leaned forward over the keyboard, and +asked curiously, 'Which do you like best, +the little wild girl whom you used to teach, +or the accomplished woman who amuses +you?'</p> + +<p>'I like them both, in quite a different +way.' If I am not mistaken her face fell. +'To tell you the truth, I now find it hard +to connect the two. I love the memory of<span class="pagenum">[117]</span> +the little wild girl who used to sit by my +side, and make me think myself a very wise +person by the eagerness with which she +listened to me, while I laid down the law +on all matters human and divine; and I +have a profound admiration for the gracious +lady whom I meet to-night for the first time.'</p> + +<p>'Admiration!' She repeated the word +in a low voice, rather scornfully, touching +the keys of the piano lightly, and looking +at me with a dreary smile. Then she turned +her head away, but not quickly enough to hide +from me that her eyes were filling with tears.</p> + +<p>A great thrill of pity and tenderness for +the forlorn soul thus suddenly revealed drew +me nearer to her, and I said, leaning towards +the little bending figure—</p> + +<p>'I did not mean to pain you, Babiole. +You cannot think that, caring for you as I +used to do as if you had been my own child, +I have lost all feeling for you now.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[118]</span></p> + +<p>She turned quickly towards me again, +biting her under lip as she fixed her eyes +wistfully, eagerly, upon my face. Then with +tears rolling down her cheeks, she laid her +head on my arm, and clinging to my hand, +to my sleeve, began to sob and to whisper +incoherent words of gladness at my coming.</p> + +<p>'My child, my child!' I said hoarsely, +with a passionate yearning to comfort the +fragile little creature whose whole body was +trembling with repressed sobs. I got into +a sort of frenzy as she went on helplessly +crying, and eloquence soon ran dry in my +efforts to comfort her. 'Look here, child, +this won't do any good. Hold up your head, +Babiole; for goodness sake don't go on like +this, my dear, or I shall be snivelling myself +in a moment,' I said, with more of the same +matter-of-fact kind, until she presently looked +up and laughed at me through her tears.</p> + +<p>'There now, you've quite spoilt yourself<span class="pagenum">[119]</span> +by this nonsense,' I continued severely. 'Go +and put yourself to rights before your husband +comes in.'</p> + +<p>And I led her to the looking-glass with +my arm round her, feeling, though I did not +recognise the fact at the time, a great relief +in this little demonstration of an affection +which was growing every moment stronger.</p> + +<p>'Do you know,' she asked presently, as +she turned her head away from the glass +before which she had, by some dexterous +feminine sleight of hand with two or three +hairpins, arranged her disordered hair, 'why +Fabian had proofs to correct to-night?'</p> + +<p>I confessed with shame that my male +mind had been content with the reason he +had given.</p> + +<p>'He wanted to leave me alone with you,' +she explained, 'because he knows what a +strong influence you have over me, and he +hoped that you would give me a lecture.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[120]</span></p> + +<p>'A lecture! What did he want me to +lecture on?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, on my general conduct, I suppose; +on my acquaintance, intimacy with people he +dislikes; on my taking part in amateur +theatricals; on a lot of things—on everything +in fact.'</p> + +<p>'But if your husband can't induce you to +do what he wishes, what chance have I, an +outsider?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude, dear Mr. Maude, have +you been so long among the hills as to think +like that? Or is it that life was a different +thing when you took an active part in it? +It's only in books that husbands are husbands, +and wives are wives.'</p> + +<p>She had sat down on the sofa beside me, +but I was not going to be talked over like +that. Her words had roused in me the +instinctive antagonism of the sexes, and I +got up and walked up and down, an occupation<span class="pagenum">[121]</span> +which demanded some care amidst the +miniature inlaid furniture with which the +small room was somewhat overcrowded.</p> + +<p>'You know, my dear,' I began rather +drily, looking at the ceiling, which was not +far above my head, 'when things get so +radically wrong between husband and wife, +as they seem to be between you and Fabian, +the fault is very seldom all on one side.'</p> + +<p>'But it is in this case.'</p> + +<p>'Are you sure?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, quite sure.'</p> + +<p>'You think you are not to blame in the +least?'</p> + +<p>'In this, no.'</p> + +<p>'And that all the fault lies on poor Fabian's +side?'</p> + +<p>'Oh no.'</p> + +<p>'Well, on whose side does it lie then?'</p> + +<p>'On yours.'</p> + +<p>I stopped short in front of her, and looked<span class="pagenum">[122]</span> +down on the little Dresden china figure, +sitting with clasped hands and crossed feet in +exasperating demureness on the sofa below me.</p> + +<p>'Do you know that you are a confoundedly +ungrateful little puss?'</p> + +<p>'No, I'm not,' she answered passionately, +raising her head and meeting my gaze with +eyes full of fire. 'I think of you by day and +by night. I read over the books I read with +you, to try to feel as if you were still by my +side explaining them to me. I talk to you +when I am by myself, I sing my best songs +to you, I almost pray to you. But just as +the heathen beat their gods and throw them +in the dust when they lose a battle, so I, +when things go wrong with me, find a consolation +in accusing you of being the cause.' +She laughed a little as she finished, as if +ashamed of her temerity, and anxious to let +it pass as a joke. But I held my ground +and looked at her steadily.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[123]</span></p> + +<p>'That is very flattering,' said I, more +moved than I cared to show, 'but it is +nothing in support of your accusation. +Women, the very best of you, think nothing +of bringing against your friends charges +which a man——'</p> + +<p>She interrupted hastily, 'I brought no +charge.'</p> + +<p>'You only accused me of deliberately spoiling +the lives of two of my dearest friends.'</p> + +<p>'No, no, not that; I only said that you +brought about our marriage.'</p> + +<p>'Which then seemed to you the climax +of earthly happiness. Remember, you married +him with your eyes open, content not +even to expect him to be a good husband. +You admitted that yourself. Is it my fault +that your love has proved a weaker thing +than you thought?'</p> + +<p>'Weaker!' This was apparently a new +idea to her. She now spoke in a humbler<span class="pagenum">[124]</span> +tone. 'How could I know,' she asked +meekly, 'what strong things it would have +to conquer? I thought all men were something +like you—at heart, and that to please +them one had only to try. Oh, and I did +try so hard!'</p> + +<p>The poor little face was drawn into piteous +lines and wrinkles as she sighed forth +this lament.</p> + +<p>'But what has he done, child?'</p> + +<p>She shook her head. 'Nothing. If I +could have seen before marriage a diary of +my married life as it would be, I should +have thought, as I did, that I was going into +an earthly paradise. There is nothing wrong +but the atmosphere, and there is only one +thing wanting in that.'</p> + +<p>'He does not care for you?' I scarcely +did more than form the words with my lips, +but the answering tears rolled down her +cheeks again at once.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[125]</span></p> + +<p>'Not a bit. At least, not so much as <i>you</i> +care for To-to or—Janet. And it isn't his +fault. He is perfectly kind to me in his +fashion, admires the way I have worked to +please him, is grieved that I am dissatisfied +with the result. Only—he did not take me in—of +his own accord, and so I have remained +always—outside. That's all!'</p> + +<p>She spread out her little hands, and +clasped them again, with a plaintive gesture +of resignation.</p> + +<p>'And—and if I seem ungrateful you must +forgive me; I've never been able to tell it +all to any one for all these four years.'</p> + +<p>I was stricken with remorse, but I dared +not give it the least expression for fear of +the lengths to which it might carry me.</p> + +<p>I made another journey among the gipsy +tables and the pestilent <i>bric-à-brac</i>, and +returning sat down, not on the sofa beside +her, but in a chair a few feet away. I took<span class="pagenum">[126]</span> +a book up from a table by my side; I remember +that it was <i>Marmion</i>, and that it had +very exquisite illustrations.</p> + +<p>'How about these friends, then, whose +intimacy your husband disapproves of?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, those!' contemptuously. 'One +doesn't open one's heart quite wide to such +friends as those.'</p> + +<p>'Then if you care about them so little, +why not give them up and please your +husband?'</p> + +<p>'One must be intimate with somebody,' +she said entreatingly, 'even if it's only a +tea-drinking and scandal-talking intimacy.'</p> + +<p>'But why with these particular people?'</p> + +<p>'Because we all have a particular grievance: +we all have bad husbands. At least—no, +Fabian's not a bad husband,' she corrected +hastily; 'but we are all dissatisfied +with our husbands.'</p> + +<p>'Perhaps the husbands of those ladies I<span class="pagenum">[127]</span> +saw with you at the theatre—forgive me if I +am making a rude and ridiculous mistake—are +dissatisfied with them?' I suggested, +very meekly and mildly.</p> + +<p>'I daresay they are,' she answered, flushing. +'The less a man has of domestic +virtues, the more he invariably expects from +his wife.'</p> + +<p>'I am not surprised that Fabian shrinks +from the thought of your looking as they do.'</p> + +<p>'You mean that they make up their faces? +Mr. Maude, Mr. Maude, listen. A woman +must have something to live upon, to live +for. If through her fault or her misfortune, +there is not love enough at home to keep her +heart warm, she will—I don't say she ought, +but she does—look about for a make-shift, +and finds it in the admiration of some lad +younger than herself, who is ready to give +more than he ever hopes to receive. The +boys like dyed hair and powdered faces,<span class="pagenum">[128]</span> +they think it "chic." But my friends are +not the depraved creatures Fabian would +like to make out.'</p> + +<p>I was horribly shocked at her defence +of these ladies, for it showed a bitter knowledge +of some of the world's ways that jarred +on the lips of a woman of twenty.</p> + +<p>'I should not like to see you consoling +yourself like that.'</p> + +<p>She looked at me frankly, and her face +relaxed into a faint smile as she spoke.</p> + +<p>'You need not be afraid; now you are +back in England, I don't want any other +consolation. I can't forget that there is +goodness in the world while I can see you +and hear from you. You are going to settle +in town?' she added quickly and anxiously.</p> + +<p>'No, I had not thought of doing so. I +am going back to Lark——' Before I could +finish the word she was at my feet, kneeling +on a cushion and leaning over the arm of my<span class="pagenum">[129]</span> +chair with her face distorted by strong +excitement.</p> + +<p>'No, no, not Larkhall; you must not go +back to Larkhall,' she whispered earnestly. +'Promise me you won't go there, promise, +promise.'</p> + +<p>'Why, what's the matter? Where should +I go but to the only home I have had for +eleven years?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, but it isn't safe now. If I tell you +why you will only laugh at me.'</p> + +<p>'No, child, I should be ungrateful to +laugh at any proof of your interest in me.'</p> + +<p>She put her hand on my arm, earnestly +pressing it at every other word to give emphasis +to her warning.</p> + +<p>'My father—you remember him—he is +dissatisfied with my marriage. He says you +promised to be answerable for my happiness, +and he shall make you answer for breaking +faith with him.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[130]</span></p> + +<p>'But I have not——'</p> + +<p>'I know. I told him that, I told him +everything; that I was dying, like the idiot +I was, for the love of a man who didn't care +for me. He has taken to drink—much +worse than before—and he is impatient, +savage, and won't listen to reason. He will +do nothing but repeat, again and again, +"He said he would answer for it, and he +shall."'</p> + +<p>'But he doesn't even know I have returned.'</p> + +<p>'He said you were sure to fly back to the +old nest, and—listen, Mr. Maude, for I know +this is true; he has gone up there to lie in +wait for you. And remember, a man who +has one crazed idea and won't listen to anything +but his own mad impulses, is more +dangerous than one who is angry with good +cause.'</p> + +<p>'Poor fellow, I think he has good cause.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[131]</span></p> + +<p>'But, Mr. Maude, you don't know what +ridiculous things he says!'</p> + +<p>'What things?'</p> + +<p>'He says that you ought not to have consulted +my caprices, but to have married me +yourself straight away!'</p> + +<p>She began to laugh as she finished, but I +stopped her.</p> + +<p>'He is quite right. So I ought to have +done. Unluckily, there was one thing in the +way.'</p> + +<p>Babiole, who was still on the cushion at +my feet, leaning against the arm of my +chair as she used to do in the Highlands, +was looking interested and deeply surprised.</p> + +<p>'One thing in the way!' she echoed softly, +looking into my face with earnest scrutiny. +'What—<i>before</i> I fell in love with—Fabian?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, long before that.'</p> + +<p>She hesitated, and her eyes slowly left my<span class="pagenum">[132]</span> +face, while her brows contracted with a +puzzled expression.</p> + +<p>'What was it?' she asked at last, in a +whisper.</p> + +<p>'I was in love with you.'</p> + +<p>I could see very little of her face, but +a shiver passed over her. For a moment I +wondered, sitting quietly back in my chair, +what she thought.</p> + +<p>'Didn't you ever guess anything of it, +child, when we had that odd sort of half-engagement?' +I asked, in a most loyal tone of +indifference.</p> + +<p>She raised her head and looked at me +modestly and solemnly.</p> + +<p>'I should as soon have thought,' she said, +in a low unsteady voice, 'that the Archbishop +of Canterbury was—in love with me.'</p> + +<p>'Aha!' I said with a ridiculous cackling +laugh. 'Then I shouldn't have had much +chance.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[133]</span></p> + +<p>The next moment I knew better. She +rose without another word, as the sounds of an +opening and shutting door reached our ears. +But as she did so she cast upon me one quick, +shy, involuntary side-glance, and I knew +that my scruples about my ugly face had +been worse than thrown away.</p> + +<p>The next moment Fabian came into the +room.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep19.jpg" width="130" height="121" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[134]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch20.jpg" width="400" height="121" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XX">CHAPTER XX</h2> + + +<p>I left London for Ballater the very next +day; and having sent Ferguson on in advance +to prepare the place for me, I found +Larkhall just as I had left it four years +before, down to a newspaper which had been +lying on my study table. But the spirit of +home had deserted the place; Ta-ta was still +at Newcastle. To-to recognised me indeed, +but with more sulky impatience at my absence +than pleasure at my return. The cottage +was shut up and empty; I got the key from +Janet after dinner, and wandered through +the unused, damp-smelling little rooms. +The furniture had been left, by my orders,<span class="pagenum">[135]</span> +just as it had been during the occupation of +Babiole and her mother. But I found that +instead of recalling the child Babiole, as I +had seen her so often flitting about the +sitting-room, or, in the latter days, leaning +back, languid and listless, with glistening +dreamy eyes, in the rocking-chair by the fire, +it was the pale little London lady with pretty +conventional manners and worn weary face +that I was trying to picture to myself in the +uninhabited rooms. I came out again, +locked the door carefully, and finished my +cigar in the porch. It seemed to me a remarkably +odd thing that Babiole's degeneration +from the faultless angel she used as a +child to appear, into a mere soured and +sorrowful woman who looked six or seven +years more than her age, had deepened my +interest in her, while my knowledge that she +had been lost to me through nothing but my +own diffidence had changed its character.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[136]</span></p> + +<p>To get the better of the unhealthy and +morbid state of mind into which I now found +myself falling, I began to break through my +old habits of retirement, and to avail myself +of such society as Ballater and its neighbourhood +afforded. The hot weather had begun +early this year, and the summer residents +were already established before my arrival. +I was a sort of 'great unknown' concerning +whom there were floating about many interesting +and romantic stories; therefore I +found no lack of eager acquaintances as soon +as I cared to make them. Prominent among +these was a certain Mr. Farington, a Liverpool +solicitor, who, after having made a +yearly retreat to the Highlands each autumn, +had now retired from business and taken the +lease of a large house at the foot of Craigendarroch. +He had been married twice, first +to a lady of dazzling pecuniary charms who +had left him one daughter, and after her death<span class="pagenum">[137]</span> +to a large and handsome lady who gave me +a strong impression of having had doubtful +antecedents. This second wife had a numerous +family, ranging from five years old to +fifteen, between whom and their half-sister +was fixed the gulf of her mother's fortune.</p> + +<p>At a very early stage of our acquaintance +the eldest Miss Farington, who was a good-looking +young woman of three and twenty, +with a strong sense of the importance attached +to an income of fifteen hundred a year, had +honoured me by a marked partiality for +which I, in my new sociability, at first felt +grateful. It was pleasant to find some one +who could pass an opinion, even if it was not +a very original opinion, on a picture, a book, +or a landscape, and Miss Farington could +always do that with great precision. Perhaps, +too, it flattered my vanity to be appealed to +as the one representative of high civilisation +amidst barbarian hordes. But when it became<span class="pagenum">[138]</span> +plain even to my modest merit that the +lady proposed to annex me, I grew suddenly +coy; and I then found to my surprise that, +diffident as my disfigurement had made me, I +was still, like the rest of my sex, humble only +to one woman, and mightily fatuous as regarded +the rest. But if Miss Farington was +merely what one calls 'a nice girl,' with no +particularly conspicuous qualities of alluring +sweetness or captivating vivacity, she had +one virtue which would not have shamed an +ancient Roman—an indomitable resolution +that would not know defeat.</p> + +<p>I am not making an idle boast; I am recording +a fact when I say that that girl laid +siege to me with a skill and patience which +filled me alternately with admiration, gratitude, +and alarm. She learned my tastes, she +studied my habits, she mastered my opinions, +until I began to think that if a person who +apparently knew me so well could like me<span class="pagenum">[139]</span> +so much, I must be an infinitely more amiable +man than I had ever supposed. This frame +of mind naturally led me to look kindly on +the lady who had enabled me to make such +a pleasing discovery, and I knew myself to +be softening to such an extent that I felt that, +unless Mr. Farington should leave Ballater +before the summer was over, I should be 'a +gone coon' before autumn. If she held on +until the evenings grew cold and long, until +the winds began to howl about lonely Larkhall, +and to bring swirling showers of dead +leaves to the ground with the hissing sound +of a beach of pebbles under the retreating +waves of a wintry sea, then I felt that I +should give way, that I should see in Miss +Farington's prosaic gray eyes pleasant domestic +pictures, in her erect figure and sloping +shoulders an attraction which to a lonely +man, when the deer-stalking and fishing +seasons were over, were quite irresistible.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[140]</span></p> + +<p>I had had one plaintive little letter from +Babiole, in which she entreated me, in rather +stiff and stilted language, out of which peeped +a most touching anxiety, to beware of her +father, who, she assured me, was more desperate +and dangerous in his intentions to do +me harm than she had even dared to suggest +when face to face with me. I wrote back in +a clumsy letter as stiff as her own, but not so +touching, that she need have no fear, as her +father had settled down quietly at Aberdeen. +I dared not tell her the truth, which I +had found out through Ferguson—that Mr. +Ellmer had indeed come up to the Highlands +with the avowed intention of doing me some +desperate harm; but that, having availed +himself too freely, through his daughter's +generosity, of his favourite indulgences, he +had had an attack of <i>delirium tremens</i>, and +had been placed under restraint in the county +lunatic asylum.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[141]</span></p> + +<p>Babiole's letter I carried about with me, +and sometimes—for loneliness among the +hills would make a sentimental fool of the +most robust of us—I fancied that the little +sheet of paper, in spite of Miss Farington +and the domestic pictures, burnt into my +heart.</p> + +<p>It was in the middle of August, while the +weather was still—everywhere but in the +Highlands—insufferably hot, that I received +a letter from Fabian which gave me a great +shock. His wife had been very ill, he said, +and although she had now been declared out +of danger, she recovered strength so slowly +that it had become imperative to send her +away somewhere. Mrs. Ellmer, who was +now with her, having suggested her old +home in the Highlands, the doctor had +agreed warmly, and Fabian therefore begged, +as an old friend, that I would lend his wife +and her mother the cottage for a short time,<span class="pagenum">[142]</span> +adding that he was sure I would look after +my little favourite until, in a few days' time, +he could rejoin her.</p> + +<p>I took this letter up to Craigendarroch, +and had first a cigar and then a pipe over it. +To refuse Fabian's request was impossible; +to lend the cottage and go away myself would +be inhospitable and suspicious; to lend it and +stay would be dangerous. With the last +whiffs of tobacco an inspiration came. I +swung back home, wrote back to Fabian +that Larkhall itself, the cottage, the garden, +the stables, and every toolshed about the +place were entirely at Mrs. Scott's disposal, +together with all the live stock, human and +otherwise; and that she had only to fix the +time of her arrival and Mrs. Ellmer's.</p> + +<p>The letter finished and put in the bag, I +had a glass of sherry; and fortified by that +and by an heroic sense of duty, I sallied forth +in the direction of the Mill o' Sterrin, in<span class="pagenum">[143]</span> +which neighbourhood Miss Farington, who +did everything by rule, was always to be +found district-visiting on a Thursday.</p> + +<p>I suppose no man with ever so little brain +or ever so little heart, who has deliberately +made up his mind to propose to a girl, sees +the moment approaching without a certain +trepidation. I own that when I saw the +moment and Miss Farington approaching together, +although I had very little doubt about +her answer, and very little enthusiasm about +the result, I had a thumping at my heart and +a singing in my ears. With the memory of +Babiole and the thought of her visit in my +mind, not even the sherry would cast a +glamour over those exceedingly sloping +shoulders, which seemed almost to argue +some moral deficiency, some terrible lack of +some quality without which no woman's +character is complete. In the meantime, +she was bearing down upon me, and I was<span class="pagenum">[144]</span> +still without an opening speech. But she was +not.</p> + +<p>'What a treat to see you in this part of +the world, Mr. Maude,' said she, holding out +her hand. 'I confess I did you the injustice +to think you would forget your promise.'</p> + +<p>'Promise!' I repeated vaguely. 'I am +afraid I must confess——'</p> + +<p>'You had forgotten?' she said smiling. +'Really this is too bad.'</p> + +<p>'At least, you see, I hadn't forgotten that +this is the way you always walk on a Thursday,' +said I, with a look that was intended +to convey much.</p> + +<p>'And had forgotten my beautiful site for +a new school!'</p> + +<p>However, she was more pleased with me +for what I had remembered than angry for +what I had forgotten.</p> + +<p>'At any rate you can come and see it +now,' she said, and turning back she led the<span class="pagenum">[145]</span> +way towards a broad meadow in the valley +of the Muick, with a fair view of the little +river and of the hills beyond, which would +have been a very good site for a school, if a +school had been needed.</p> + +<p>'An awfully nice place for it,' I agreed, +as she expatiated upon the merits of a rising +ground with drainage towards the +river, and shelter from the woods above. +'And if the school ever gets built, I +expect there will be only one thing it will +want.'</p> + +<p>'Go on, though I know what you are going +to say,' said she.</p> + +<p>'Scholars,' I finished briefly.</p> + +<p>Miss Farington nodded. 'They will come,' +she said confidently, 'if the thing is properly +organised.'</p> + +<p>Organisation was her hobby. If that little +affair came off, my library would be partly +catalogued and partly burnt, and To-to would<span class="pagenum">[146]</span> +be organised into the stable-yard. Still I did +not flinch.</p> + +<p>'Think,' said she enthusiastically, 'what it +would mean! To plant the first footing of +knowledge, civilisation, refinement, among +these peasants! To give them eyes to see +the beauty of the nature which surrounds +them! To give them resources for refined +enjoyment when winter closes the door of +nature to them! To widen their knowledge +of the world, and teach them that "hinter den +Bergen sind auch Leute!" Oh, Mr. Maude, +if building and starting this school were to +cost ten thousand pounds, I should say the +money had been well spent if in it but one +single Highland boy were taught to read!'</p> + +<p>Rather appalled by the thought of the +lengths to which such a boundless enthusiasm +might carry her, I murmured something to +the effect that it would be rather expensive. +Whereat she turned upon me<span class="pagenum">[147]</span>—</p> + +<p>'And can you, Mr. Maude, who profess to +revel in Montaigne and Shakespeare, delight +in Charles Lamb and Alfred de Vigny, deny +such pleasures to your humble neighbours?'</p> + +<p>'But my humble neighbours wouldn't read +Shakespeare or Montaigne, nor even Wilkie +Collins nor Dumas the Elder. They'd read +the <i>Bow Bells</i> novelettes. And as to teaching +them to admire their own hills, why they +love them more than you do, for Nature isn't +to them a closed book in winter as it seems +to you.'</p> + +<p>I was on the wrong tack altogether, as I +felt, when by good luck the lady herself +brought me to more congenial ground.</p> + +<p>'Then I suppose I mustn't expect much +help from you, Mr. Maude,' she said, rather +stiffly.</p> + +<p>'Yes, you may indeed, you may expect +every help,' I said, rushing at the opportunity, +and growing hot over it. 'It's true I<span class="pagenum">[148]</span>—that—I +don't much care—I mean I'm not +deeply interested in Highland children, except +as scenery, you know, picturesqueness +and all that; but—er—but for you—in a +plan of yours, that is to say, I should be +delighted to do whatever lay in my power.'</p> + +<p>During this lame performance Miss Farington +listened with a perfectly stolid face, +but with a heightened colour which told that +she knew, in vulgar parlance, what I was +driving at. Now that I was coming to the +point, however, she did not mean to have any +'humbugging about.' At least, some such +determination as that, rather than maiden +coyness, seemed to prompt her next speech.</p> + +<p>'I don't <i>think</i> I quite understand you, Mr. +Maude.'</p> + +<p>This was a challenge. I took it up.</p> + +<p>'I think, Miss Farington, you must have +noticed my growing interest in——'</p> + +<p>'In my plans? No, indeed I haven't.<span class="pagenum">[149]</span> +Don't you remember your saying the other +day that it seemed a pity to waste good +drainage and sanitary regulations upon people +who were never ill?'</p> + +<p>'I—I only mean that my interest in—er—in +drainage was swallowed up in my interest +in you.'</p> + +<p>It was the very last way in which I should +have chosen to introduce a declaration of +love, but with a girl too much absorbed in +the progress of humanity to encourage that +of the individual man, there is nothing for +you but to take what opening you can get. +It was all right, at any rate, for she smiled +and gave me her hand, the glove of which I +respectfully kissed, noticing at the time that +it smelt of treacle, and wondering how it had +acquired that particular perfume. It occurred +to me, even as I stood there trying to think +of something to say, that the little boys she +had been teaching must have been eating<span class="pagenum">[150]</span> +bread and treacle, and imparted its fragrance +to their lesson-books.</p> + +<p>'You have surprised me very much, Mr. +Maude,' she said. 'Are you quite sure that +I deserve this honour?'</p> + +<p>Perhaps the question was not so insincere +as it seemed to me, for she looked pleased, +though not at all agitated. But I felt, as I +reassured her with some conventional words, +that my heart would have gone out more to +the emptiest-headed little fool that ever +giggled and blushed than to this most intelligent +and matter-of-fact young woman. And +I fell to wondering, as we began to walk +back together, why the sentimental and the +practical were so oddly divided in the feminine +mind that a girl could glow with enthusiasm +while talking about impracticable plans +for making her neighbours uncomfortable, +and listen quite coolly to a proposal to pass +her life with the man she had made no secret<span class="pagenum">[151]</span> +of liking best. I had an awkward sense of +not knowing what to talk about, and I asked +her how she liked Larkhall. She had evidently +considered that matter well already, +and was quite prepared with her answer.</p> + +<p>'I think it only wants the south wing +raised a storey, and the drawing-room enlarged +by taking in that space between the +outer wall and that row of lilacs and guelderroses +at the back, to make it one of the +pleasantest of the country houses about here,' +she replied promptly.</p> + +<p>I felt a cold shiver up my back, perceiving +that even my study might be already +doomed.</p> + +<p>'But I like it even as it is because it is +your home,' she added, with a touch of human +feeling for which I felt grateful.</p> + +<p>'Thank you,' I said, and I took her hand +again. I hesitated about using her Christian +name, and decided not to. 'Lucy' seemed<span class="pagenum">[152]</span> +such an inappropriate appellation for Miss +Farington; she ought at least to have been +'Henrietta.'</p> + +<p>'I will try to make you like it still more,' +I said, quietly and sincerely, upon which she +went the length of returning the pressure of +my fingers on hers.</p> + +<p>But she could not keep long away from +those confounded plans. As we drew near +the grounds of Larkhall, and could see the +stables and one corner of the roof of the cottage, +she stopped short and said pensively—</p> + +<p>'I've often thought, Mr. Maude, what a pity +it is that cottage should be kept empty, when +it is so nicely furnished too. Your housekeeper, +Mrs. Janet, took me over it one day.' +Perhaps it was anger at the thought that this +young lady had mentally disposed of all my +property prematurely, perhaps annoyance +that she should have intruded in the cottage +at all, which helped to augment the sudden<span class="pagenum">[153]</span> +fury which seized me at this suggestion. She +went on, quite unaware of what she had done. +'Now I was thinking what a charming convalescent +home a place like that would make +for poor widows in reduced circumstances +who——'</p> + +<p>'Unfortunately I am too selfish to give up +to strangers the accommodation which has +always been reserved for my friends.'</p> + +<p>Miss Farington might be cold, might be +prosaic, but she was not stupid. She saw at +once she had gone too far, and hastened to +apologise with very maidenly humility.</p> + +<p>'I am afraid you will think I care more +for my plans than for the great happiness and +honour you have just done me. But indeed, +Mr. Maude, it is not so. It is only that I +never find any one to sympathise with my +efforts but you, and so I tax your patience too +much in my delight at meeting some one who +is kind to me.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[154]</span></p> + +<p>'Be kind to me too, then,' I suggested, +venturing, now that we had got among the +trees of the garden, to put my hand lightly +on her waist. She understood, and with a +real blush at last, she let me kiss her. 'I +have been a hermit a long time,' I said in a +low voice, 'and I have fallen out of the ways +of the world and of women. But if you will +only have patience with me, and not be too +much frightened by my uncouth ways, I will +make you a very good husband; and I promise +you it shall be your own fault if I do +not make you happy.'</p> + +<p>'I am sure of it,' she said simply, with a +confidence which was flattering, if still astonishingly +prosaic.</p> + +<p>I led her round the garden, gathered for +her my best roses and fastened them together, +while she critically surveyed the front of the +house.</p> + +<p>'It wants a coat of whitewash, doesn't it?'<span class="pagenum">[155]</span> +I suggested, anxious to show her that I was +not too conservative.</p> + +<p>'Ye—es, and the ivy wants trimming. +Why don't you put it in the hands of the +painters, Mr. Maude?'</p> + +<p>'What, and go away—already! Surely +that is too much to expect,' I ventured, +looking down into her eyes, which, if not +boasting any poetical attractions of 'hidden +depths,' were very clear and straightforward.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, I don't mean that; but you could +come and stay nearer to us. The people at +Lossie Villa are just going to leave, I know.'</p> + +<p>'I am bound here for a little while, as one +of my oldest friends has just asked me to give +shelter to his wife and her mother for a few +weeks.'</p> + +<p>'Indeed! Oh, they will be some people +to know. Have I ever heard of them?'</p> + +<p>'I don't know. The mother's name is<span class="pagenum">[156]</span> +Mrs. Ellmer, the daughter's—Mrs. Scott. +She has been ill, I believe.'</p> + +<p>'Mrs. Ellmer! Why, surely those are +the people who used to live at the cottage! +Oh, I have heard about them and your kindness +to them. People said——' She hesitated.</p> + +<p>'Well, what did they say?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, well, they said you used to be very +fond of—the daughter.'</p> + +<p>'So I was; so I am. But you need not +be jealous.'</p> + +<p>She laughed, a bright clear laugh, scarcely +without a touch of good-humoured contempt +at the suggestion.</p> + +<p>'I jealous! Oh, Mr. Maude, you would +not seriously accuse me of such a paltry feeling! +It would be unworthy of you, unworthy +of me.'</p> + +<p>I felt, when I had taken my <i>fiancée</i> home +and formally received her parents' sanction<span class="pagenum">[157]</span> +to our engagement, that I was myself unworthy +to live in the intellectual and moral +heights on which she flourished. But I +could creep after her in a humble fashion, +and do my best to make her love me.</p> + +<p>And in the meantime my loyalty to my +friend and my friend's wife was strengthened +by a new and sacred bond.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep20.jpg" width="130" height="128" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[158]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch21.jpg" width="400" height="123" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXI">CHAPTER XXI</h2> + + +<p>I suppose no man ever tried harder to be +deeply, earnestly, sincerely in love than I +tried to be with Miss Farington; and I +suppose no man ever failed more completely. +I believe now that to any other woman I +have ever met, being a man by no means +without affectionate impulses, and being also +in a most propitious mood for sentiment, I +should have been by the end of the week a +submissive if not adoring slave. I wanted to +be a slave; I was even anxious to become, +for the time at least, the mere chattel of somebody +else, a gracious and kindly somebody, +be it well understood, who would give me<span class="pagenum">[159]</span> +the wages of affection in return for my best +efforts in her service.</p> + +<p>But Miss Farington's heart and mind were +far too well regulated for her to tolerate, much +less seek, such an empire over the man who +was to be her lord and master. She despised +sentiment, and meant to begin as she intended +to keep on, neither giving nor accepting an +unreasonable amount of affection. Respect +and esteem, and above all, compatibility of +aim, she used to say, not harshly, but with an +implied reproach to my own more vulgar and +sensual views, were the only sure foundation +of happy married life; and I felt that so long +as there was an unrepaired pig-stye within a +mile of Larkhall, I was an object of comparatively +small importance in my <i>fiancée's</i> eyes. +And the worst of it was I couldn't contradict +her. Reserving all her philanthropic projects, +she was on other matters the incarnation +of common sense; and I soon found that<span class="pagenum">[160]</span> +it was the vague reputation for intellect which +any man gets in the country who likes his +books better than his neighbours, which had +attracted her attention to my unworthy self. +She was disappointed with her bargain +already; I was sure of that: but having made +it, she was not the woman to go back from +her word. She even had the good taste, on +finding that her 'plans' palled upon me, to +drop them out of her conversation to a great +extent, but I had a shrewd suspicion that they +would be let loose upon me again with full +force as soon as she should be installed as +mistress of Larkhall. I was secretly resolved +however, since my lady-love declined to rule +me in the right woman's way—through her +heart—to assert my supremacy of the head +in a startling and unexpected manner so soon +as I should be legally the master.</p> + +<p>In the meantime we jogged on with our +engagement, and I found in my daily walks<span class="pagenum">[161]</span> +with Lucy, and in luncheons and teas at her +father's, no charm strong enough to make +me for a moment forget the fact that in a +few days Babiole would be under my own +roof.</p> + +<p>For I had decided that not honour enough +could be done to my guests at the cottage; +and, Ferguson and old Janet joining in the +work with a heartiness which made me love +them, we turned out the whole house from +garret to basement, and for a week there was +such a sweeping and garnishing as never was +known. We had only just got it in order +when Fabian's telegram came announcing that +they were off, and for the next forty-eight +hours nobody could stop to take breath. The +stable-boy had insisted on erecting at the +entrance a lop-sided triumphal arch which, +after having required constant renewing of +its branches for a day and a half, having been +put up much too soon, had to be taken down<span class="pagenum">[162]</span> +at the last moment, as it was found that a +carriage could not drive under it without either +the arch carrying away the coachman, or the +coachman carrying away the arch. They +were to break the journey by spending one +night at Edinburgh, and I had proposed to +meet them at Aberdeen on the following day. +But Miss Farington's uncle having come to +Ballater on purpose to annoy me—I mean on +purpose to meet me—I was forced to attend +a most dull luncheon at Oak Lodge where I, +in absence of mind, made myself very objectionable +by expressing a doubt whether any +lawyers would be found in heaven.</p> + +<p>They made me stay to tea, though I'm +sure nobody wanted me, and I was dying to +get away. It was nearly six before I could +leave, and I rushed to the little station just as +the passengers were streaming out of the train. +I knew that Babiole was among them, and I +came upon her suddenly as I got through the<span class="pagenum">[163]</span> +door on to the platform. She was leaning +on her mother, pale, thin, wasted so that for +pity and terror I could not speak, but just +held out my arm and supported her to the +carriage which, by my orders, was waiting +outside. As we drove off she leaned +against her mother and held out her hand +to me.</p> + +<p>'Again—after four years, to be back with +you under old Craigendarroch,' she said, +almost in a whisper, with moist eyes.</p> + +<p>'Yes, yes, we'll set you up again as none +of your London doctors could do,' I said +huskily.</p> + +<p>She smiled at me, still keeping my hand.</p> + +<p>'Will you, Mr. Maude?' she asked half +doubtingly, like a child.</p> + +<p>'See what marriage has done for her!' +broke in Mrs. Ellmer half mournfully, half +tartly. 'She wouldn't be satisfied till she'd +tried it, and look at the result.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[164]</span></p> + +<p>At that moment a yelping and barking +behind us attracted our attention, and the +next moment poor old Ta-ta, released from +the van in which she had been travelling, +overtook the carriage, and tried to leap up +from the road to lick my face.</p> + +<p>'Ta-ta, old girl, why, we're going to have +the old times back again,' I cried, much +moved; and after a drive in which only Mrs. +Ellmer talked much, we all reached Larkhall +in a more or less maudlin condition, overcome +by old recollections.</p> + +<p>All the men and boys about the place had +assembled in two rows at the entrance, and +gave us a hearty cheer as we drove past. +Ferguson was standing at the door, and +I vow his hard old eyes were moist as he +insisted on helping the little lady out himself. +Janet, in a cap which rendered the wearer +insignificant, made a respectful curtsey to +Mrs. Scott as she came up the steps, but<span class="pagenum">[165]</span> +threw her arms around her as soon as she +was fairly inside the hall.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer and I were rather afraid of +the effects of fatigue and excitement on a +frame scarcely convalescent, but the pleasure +of being back among the hills was such a +powerful stimulant that within half an hour +of going upstairs to the big south bedroom, +which had been aired and cleaned and done +up expressly for her, she flitted down again +with quick steps, and with a faint stain of +pink colour showing under the transparent +skin of her thin cheeks.</p> + +<p>I was just outside the front door, where I +had been hovering about with an unlighted +cigar between my lips, when I caught a +glimpse of soft white drapery in the heavy +shadows of the old staircase. I went back +into the hall and looked up at her, as she +stopped with one hand on the bannisters, +smiling down at me but saying nothing.<span class="pagenum">[166]</span> +She wore a transparent white dress that +looked like muslin only that it was silky, +with a long train that remained stretched on +the stairs above her as she stopped.</p> + +<p>'I thought it was an angel flying over my +staircase,' I said gently.</p> + +<p>'And all the while it was only a silly moth +that had singed its wings in the big bright +candle you had warned it to keep away from,' +she answered gravely, after a pause.</p> + +<p>'The wings will grow again, and when it +goes back to the light——'</p> + +<p>'We won't talk about going back yet,' she +broke in with a little shiver. 'I want to forget +all about London for a little while, and +try to feel just as I used to do here. I +wouldn't bring Davis with me. Poor mamma +is going to be my nurse, and you to be my +doctor, and I am going to take Craigendarroch +after every meal.'</p> + +<p>'You must be ready for one now, one<span class="pagenum">[167]</span> +meal, I mean, not one mountain. Where is +poor mamma?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, she's gone to talk to Janet. She +thinks I am still waiting for her to do my +hair. But she shall see that I am not an +invalid any longer.'</p> + +<p>But as she spoke, the light died out of her +eyes, and I saw the fragile white hand, the +blue-veined delicacy of which had alarmed +me, suddenly clutch the bannister-rail tightly.</p> + +<p>'You mustn't boast too soon,' said I, as I +ran up the stairs and supported her.</p> + +<p>She recovered herself in a few moments, +being only very weak and tired, and she +suddenly lifted her face to mine quite +merrily.</p> + +<p>'Shall we take Froude to-morrow, Mr. +Maude? Or shall I prepare a chapter of +Schiller's <i>Thirty Years' War</i>?' she asked, +just in the old manner. 'Or a couple of +pages of <i>Ancient History</i>?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[168]</span></p> + +<p>'I think,' I answered slowly, while my +heart leapt up as a salmon does at a fly, and +I honestly tried not to feel so disloyally, +unmistakably happy, 'that we'll do a little +modern poetry, and that we'll begin with +"The Return of the Wanderer."'</p> + +<p>I was leading her slowly downstairs, when +Mrs. Ellmer's high piercing voice, coming +towards us as the door of the housekeeper's +room was opened, suddenly broke upon our +ears.</p> + +<p>'Well, I must go and congratulate him. +I'm sure I always said that a nice wife was +just the one thing he wanted.'</p> + +<p>'Who's that?' asked Babiole quite sharply.</p> + +<p>'Why, don't you know your own mother's +voice?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, yes, but who is she talking about? +Who is it wants a nice wife?'</p> + +<p>'I suppose most of us do, only we are not +all so lucky as a certain young actor I know,'<span class="pagenum">[169]</span> +I said brightly; but my heart beat violently, +and I felt Babiole's fingers trembling on my +arm.</p> + +<p>She asked me no more questions, and I +took her into the dining-room to admire the +roses with which we had loaded the table. +But when her mother joined us a moment +later, brimming over with excitement about +my engagement, Babiole nodded and said, +'Yes, mother, I've heard all about it,' and +offered no congratulations.</p> + +<p>As for me, the remembrance of my +<i>fiancée</i> this evening threw me into a reckless +mood. 'Let us eat and drink, for to-morrow +we—marry Miss Farington' was the kind +of thought that lay at the bottom of my +deliberate abandonment of myself to the +enthralling pleasure the mere presence of +this little white human thing had power to +give me. Mrs. Ellmer and I were very +lively both at dinner and afterwards in the<span class="pagenum">[170]</span> +study, where we all went merely to look at +To-to, but where Babiole insisted on our +staying. She did not talk much; but on the +other hand, her face never for a moment fell +into that listless sadness which had pained +and shocked me so much in London. When +at last she was so evidently tired out that +we had reluctantly to admit that she must go +to bed, she let her mother see that she wanted +to speak to me, and remained behind to say—</p> + +<p>'I want to see this lady you are going to +marry. For I'm not going to congratulate +you till I see whether she is sweet, and +beautiful, and noble, and worthy to—worship +you, Mr. Maude,' she ended earnestly.</p> + +<p>'She is a very nice girl,' said I, playing +with To-to with unconscious roughness, +which the monkey resented.</p> + +<p>'A nice girl for <i>you</i>!' she said scornfully. +'She must be more than that, or I will forbid +the banns. I was afraid you would think it<span class="pagenum">[171]</span> +strange that I didn't say something about it,' +she went on, after a moment's pause, rather +nervously; 'but when I heard it—just now—I +prayed about it—I did indeed—just as I +used to for myself and Fabian.'</p> + +<p>A fear evidently struck her here that the +reminiscence was ill-omened, for she hastened +to add, 'But then I didn't deserve to be +happy—and you do. Good-night,' she concluded +abruptly, and drawing her hot hand +with nervous haste out of mine she left me.</p> + +<p>The next day came a reaction from the +excitement of her arrival, and Babiole was +not able to leave her room until late in the +afternoon. I had paid my duty-call at Oak +Lodge in the morning, and had been disconcerted +to find that common sense and +philanthropy had grown less attractive than +ever. Lucy expressed her intention of calling +upon Mrs. Scott that very afternoon, and +when I explained that she was tired and not<span class="pagenum">[172]</span> +likely to make her appearance before dinnertime, +my philanthropist said she would drive +round to Larkhall in the evening. From +this pertinacity I concluded that Miss +Farington was perhaps not so entirely free +from human curiosity and perhaps feminine +jealousy as she would have liked me to +suppose. At any rate she kept me with her +all day, an unquiet conscience having made +me exceedingly docile; and it was six o'clock +before I got home.</p> + +<p>I went straight into the drawing-room, +where Babiole, lying on a sofa before one of +the windows, was enjoying the warm light of +the declining sun.</p> + +<p>'Better?' said I simply, coming up to the +sofa and looking down. All the energy and +animation of the evening before were gone +now; but to me Babiole never lost one +charm without gaining a greater; she had +been fascinating in a lively mood, she was<span class="pagenum">[173]</span> +irresistible in a quiet one. She gave me +her hand and answered in a weak voice—</p> + +<p>'Yes, I'm better, thank you.'</p> + +<p>'What have you been thinking about so +quietly all by yourself? I don't fancy you +ought to be allowed to think at all.'</p> + +<p>'I've been thinking about poor papa. +Have you heard anything more about him?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, he's all right, I believe, settled +down in Aberdeen. I don't think you'd +better try to see him though. It might set +him worrying again on the old subject, +which perhaps he has forgotten.'</p> + +<p>She shook her head. 'You don't know +papa as mamma and I do. He wastes his life +so that people despise him, and believe that +he cares for nothing but the day's enjoyment. +But they are wrong. He is fierce and sullen, +and he never forgets. He came up here to +see <i>you</i>, and to do you harm; and he will +never rest until at least he's tried to.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[174]</span></p> + +<p>'Well, he and I were very good friends, +and there is nothing I should like better +than to meet him and make him listen to +reason—as I'm sure he would do.'</p> + +<p>'He—he might not give you the chance.'</p> + +<p>I was pleased by her solicitude for me, +but I showed her how very far-fetched her +fears were, and assured her, moreover, that +if Mr. Ellmer, with the brutal ferocity which +had been ascribed to him, should ever go so +far as to attack me personally, he would +probably find his match in a man who lived +so hardily as I.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep21.jpg" width="130" height="112" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[175]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch22.jpg" width="400" height="116" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXII">CHAPTER XXII</h2> + + +<p>I did not mention Miss Farington's +threatened visit until the very moment +when, after dinner, as we were all turning +out for a walk round the garden, I caught a +glimpse of her little pony carriage between +the trees of the drive. Babiole, wrapt in a +long shawl of Indian embroidery which I had +taken a fancy to in a bazaar in Calcutta, and +had sent home to her, was standing by a +rose-tree and choosing the flowers which I +was to cut. Mrs. Ellmer, with characteristic +vivacity, was running little races with old +Ta-ta, whose failing energy was now satisfied +with such small performances as these. The<span class="pagenum">[176]</span> +dog stopped short to bark at the carriage, to +which Mrs. Ellmer now directed my attention.</p> + +<p>'Oh yes, it's Miss Farington, I think; +she said she might come round this evening.'</p> + +<p>'What! Miss Farington? Your young +lady? And you could forget that she was +coming! Oh, naughty, naughty!' cried Mrs. +Ellmer.</p> + +<p>Babiole's face had flushed from chin to +forehead.</p> + +<p>'We must go and meet her,' she said +quietly, setting the example of going up the +steps which led from terrace to terrace to the +house.</p> + +<p>Reminded of my duty, I hastened up to +the lawn, and was just in time to help my +visitor out of the little carriage. She wore +a gray dress, a dark blue jacket, a brown hat, +and black silk gloves—a costume in which I +had seen her often before, but which had not +struck me as being a hideous combination<span class="pagenum">[177]</span> +until I saw it straightway after looking at a +figure which, seen in the soft evening shadows +which had begun to creep up under the trees, +had left in my mind an intoxicating vision of +rich colours and soft outlines, like the conception +of an Indian princess by an Impressionist +painter.</p> + +<p>Lucy Farington's manner suffered as +much by contrast with Mrs. Scott's as her +dress had done. Never before had she +seemed so matter-of-fact, so brusque, so blind +and deaf to everything that was not strictly +useful or severely intellectual. On finding +that Mrs. Scott took but a tepid interest in +the subject of artisans' dwellings, and had no +acquaintance with the writings either of Kant +or Klopstock, she glanced at me, who had +never been bold enough to avow the whole +depth of my indifference to the one and my +ignorance of the other subject, with an expression +of scarcely disguised contempt.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[178]</span></p> + +<p>'I'm afraid Henry and I shall scarcely find +in you a warm sympathiser with our plans, +Mrs. Scott,' she said with rather a pitying +smile. 'But of course we must not expect +you London ladies to condescend to take an +interest in cottagers; and it is only we poor +country girls who, for want of anything better +to do, have to improve our minds.'</p> + +<p>We were all in the drawing-room now, to +my great regret, for I felt that if we had +remained in the garden we might have dispersed +ourselves, and I might have been +spared hearing my <i>fiancée's</i> unaccountable +outbreak of bad taste. Babiole answered +very quietly.</p> + +<p>'You have misunderstood me a little, I am +afraid, Miss Farington,' she said. 'It is +not that my mother and I don't take an +<i>interest</i> in cottagers; but that, having been +cottagers ourselves, and having known and +visited cottagers rather as friends than as<span class="pagenum">[179]</span> +patrons, we can't at once jump into the habit +of considering them wholesale, as if we were +poor-law guardians.'</p> + +<p>'And as for improving one's mind,' broke +in Mrs. Ellmer, who was growing exceedingly +irate at the persistent manner in which the +philanthropist ignored her, 'you must blame +Mr. Maude if she is not learned enough, for +it was he who educated her.'</p> + +<p>This bold speech made a great sensation. +Miss Farington drew herself up. Babiole +shot at me an eloquent involuntary glance +from eyes which were suddenly filled with +tears; while I confess that if I had been +called upon to speak at that moment I should +have gone near to choking. In the meantime +Mrs. Ellmer went on undaunted.</p> + +<p>'I suppose it's very old-fashioned to think +that one's studies ought to be with the object +of giving pleasure to other people. But I'm +sure it's pleasanter to hear a girl play a nice<span class="pagenum">[180]</span> +piece of music than to hear her talk about +books that most of us have never heard of.'</p> + +<p>'I love music—<i>good</i> music,' said Lucy +coldly. 'No study is more refining and more +profound than that of the great masters of +harmony. I had no idea, Mrs. Scott, that +you were an accomplished amateur. Will +you not give me the pleasure of hearing +you?'</p> + +<p>'I am afraid I am not a very scientific +student,' said Babiole, as she walked towards +the piano, which I opened for her.</p> + +<p>She looked so pale and tired that I suggested +in a low voice that she had better not +play to-night. She glanced at Miss Farington, +however, and I, following the direction +of her eyes, saw that my <i>fiancée</i> was watching +us in a displeased manner. I therefore beat +a retreat from the piano, and Babiole began +to play. She was a good performer, and +though not one of phenomenal accomplishment,<span class="pagenum">[181]</span> +she seemed to me to give something of +her own grace and charm to the music she +interpreted. She was nervous this evening +on account of the critical element in the +audience; but I thought she played with +even more of sympathy and of power than +usual. She had chosen one of the less +hackneyed of Mendelssohn's 'Songs without +Words,' and when she had finished I thanked +her heartily, while Miss Farington chimed +in with more reserve.</p> + +<p>'I am afraid,' said Babiole, 'that it is not +the sort of music to give you great pleasure, +but I can't play much by heart, and that is +one of the few things I know.'</p> + +<p>'Of course,' agreed Miss Farington +readily, 'I acquit you of such a terrible +charge as an enthusiasm for the shallow +sentimentalism of the "Lieder ohne Worte." +Some day, I hope, in the daytime, you will +let me have the pleasure of hearing you play<span class="pagenum">[182]</span> +something you really like. It is really very +good of you to have received me at all so +late, but I had heard so much about you that +I really must plead guilty to the <i>childish</i> +charge of not being able to control my impatience +to see you.'</p> + +<p>And Miss Farington took leave of the +two ladies and sailed out of the room, followed +meekly by me. I was in no affectionate +mood, having been astonished and disgusted +by her undreamt-of powers of making herself +disagreeable.</p> + +<p>'I want you to come and spend the day +at Oak Lodge to-morrow, Henry,' she said +in a kinder tone than she had used during +the evening, as soon as she was seated in the +pony-carriage. 'I have some designs of a +new church to show you, which I think even +you will like; and my Uncle Matthew is +most anxious to see more of you than he had +a chance of doing yesterday.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[183]</span></p> + +<p>'Thank you; it is very kind,' I answered +rather coldly; 'and of course I shall be happy +to come and see you to-morrow as usual if +you will let me. But I couldn't spend the +whole day at Oak Lodge, because, you see, +I have guests to consider.'</p> + +<p>'And can't they spare you for a single +afternoon?' asked Lucy with a hard laugh. +'I shall really begin to feel quite jealous.'</p> + +<p>'You need not indeed,' I broke out hastily +and earnestly, 'I assure you——'</p> + +<p>She interrupted me in a very abrupt and +icy manner. 'Pray do not take the trouble. +No man who was such a flimsy creature as +to give me reason for jealousy could possibly +retain a hold upon my affections.'</p> + +<p>'Of course not,' I assented, in my usual +mean-spirited way, but with a dawning suspicion +that my <i>fiancée's</i> affections would not +prove strong enough for even a less flimsy +creature than I to obtain a firm grip on.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[184]</span></p> + +<p>'My father and Mrs. Farington will drive +over to-morrow,' Lucy went on; 'I believe +they intend to ask Mrs. Scott to dinner. I +suppose one must ask the mother too,' she +added dubiously.</p> + +<p>'It will certainly be better, unless you wish +to insult them both,' I said in an unnaturally +subdued tone the significance of which I think +she failed to notice. 'But in any case the +invitation will have no awful results, for Mrs. +Scott is not well enough to go out to dinners.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, poor thing, I suppose not. She looks +very ill. It seems almost impossible to believe +what they tell me, that she was once +very pretty. Perhaps she would not look so +bad though if somebody could only persuade +her to dress like other people. Did you +ever see anything like that shawl arrangement +she had on when I first came?'</p> + +<p>'Never,' said I calmly. 'But I confess I +am barbarous enough to think that a merit.<span class="pagenum">[185]</span> +Every lady's style of dress should have something +unique about it.'</p> + +<p>'Indeed! Then how about mine?'</p> + +<p>'Your style of dress is unique too,' said I +politely.</p> + +<p>Miss Farington looked at me doubtfully, +but came, I think, to the conclusion that she +had been disagreeable enough for one day, +even if this compliment were a dubious one. +So she contented herself with begging me +warmly to come early the next day and to +remember that my guests were not to absorb +me too entirely, and then she advanced her +cheek for me to kiss and drove away through +the trees. When I turned back into the house +I found a great turmoil prevailing. 'Mistress +Scott had been on her way to her room +when she had swooned awa' on the stairs,' +Janet said. I stole presently up the staircase +to her door, and Mrs. Ellmer came out to +tell me that Babiole had indeed been overcome<span class="pagenum">[186]</span> +by fatigue and had fainted, but that she +was much better now, and would be all right +in the morning after the night's rest.</p> + +<p>But I was anxious about the poor child; +for her pallor during the evening had frightened +me. My Lucy's new departure too had +given me something to think about, so that +sleep for the present was out of the question. +I therefore determined to keep my vigil +comfortably; going into the study, I threw +another log on the fire which, winter and +summer, was always necessary in the evening, +and, lighting my pipe, stretched myself +in my old chair and gave myself up to +meditation, which resolved itself before long +into a doze.</p> + +<p>I woke up suddenly before the fire had +got low, and heard the old boards of the floor +above me creaking repeatedly, as if some one +were hurrying about on them with a soft +tread. The room over my study was that<span class="pagenum">[187]</span> +which had been assigned to Mrs. Scott, so +that I was on the alert at once, afraid that +she had been taken ill again in the night, and +that her mother, who slept in a little room +next to hers, was running to and fro in +attendance upon her.</p> + +<p>I jumped up from my chair, with the intention +of going upstairs to ask Mrs. Ellmer +whether I could be of any use; but before I +had taken two steps, in a slow sleepy fashion, +listening all the time, the creaking ceased, and +I heard the sound of a door being opened on +the landing above. The study-door was ajar, +so that in the complete stillness of the night +the faintest noise was audible to me. I +crossed the room softly, creeping nearer to +the door with keenly open ears and with +something more than curiosity in my mind. +For without being at all one of those highly +sensitive persons who can distinguish without +fail one footfall from another, I knew the<span class="pagenum">[188]</span> +difference between Mrs. Ellmer's quick active +step, and the slow soft tread which I now +heard on the polished uncarpeted floor of the +corridor. The steps became inaudible as I +caught the light sound of a skirt sweeping +from stair to stair: then again I heard a slow +tread on the polished floor of the hall. Although +I knew well enough who it was, a long +sigh which suddenly reached my ears and +proclaimed beyond doubt the wanderer's +identity, seemed to pierce my body and leave +a deep wound. It was Babiole, either in +misery or in pain, who was wandering about +the house in the middle of the night. She +was feeling about for something in the darkness +when I opened wide the door of my +study, and let the lamplight fall upon her just +as the chain of the front door rattled in her +hands and fell with a loud noise against the oak.</p> + +<p>She glanced back at me in a startled manner, +but proceeded to unlock the door and to<span class="pagenum">[189]</span> +turn the handle. She had on the muslin +dress she had worn during the evening, with +her travelling cloak and bonnet. I saw by +the vacant manner in which her eyes rested +for a moment upon me, without surprise or +recognition, that there was some cloud in her +brain. I advanced quickly into the hall and +laid my fingers upon the handle of the door.</p> + +<p>'What are you doing down here to-night?' +I asked in a low voice, but with an air of +authority. 'You ought to be sleeping.'</p> + +<p>She drew back a little and looked helplessly +from the door to me.</p> + +<p>'Now go upstairs again and get into bed +as fast as you can,' I continued coaxingly, 'or +your mother will find out that you have left +your room, and be very much frightened.'</p> + +<p>But recalling her purpose, she made a +spring towards the door, and as I stood firm +and prevented her opening it, she fell to wild +and piteous entreaties.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[190]</span></p> + +<p>'Let me pass, please. I must go, I tell +you I must go, before they know—before +they guess. It will all come right if I go.'</p> + +<p>'Tell me first why you want to go,' said I +gently.</p> + +<p>The lamplight streamed out from the open +study door upon us, showing me her dazed, +almost haggard face, her disordered dress, +the nervous trembling of her hands. She +looked at me for a moment more steadily, and +I thought she was coming to herself.</p> + +<p>'I can't tell <i>you</i>,' she whispered, still +fumbling with the door handle and looking +down at her own fingers.</p> + +<p>'Well, then, go upstairs now, and you +shall tell me all about it to-morrow,' I said +persuasively.</p> + +<p>'No, no, no,' she broke out wildly and +vehemently as at first, seeming again to lose +all control of herself as she became excited. +'To-morrow I shall be happy again, and I shall<span class="pagenum">[191]</span> +not be able to go. He cannot care for this +girl while I'm here, I know it! I am spoiling +everything for them: I want to go back +to my husband, and not wait for him to come +and fetch me. Don't you see? Don't you +understand?'</p> + +<p>Even while she babbled out these secrets, +ignorant who I was, her instinct of confidence +in me made her support herself on my arm, +and lean upon me as she whispered excitedly +in my ear.</p> + +<p>'Well, but it is night, and there are no +trains till the morning, you know.'</p> + +<p>For a moment she seemed bewildered. +Then with an expression of childlike simplicity +she said, 'I shall find my way. God +told me I was right to go. I can pray up +here among the hills, just as I used when I +was a child, and He told me it was right.'</p> + +<p>Luckily, perhaps, her strength was failing +her even as she spoke. She swayed unsteadily<span class="pagenum">[192]</span> +on my arm and made little resistance but a +faint murmur of protest as I half carried her +back to the staircase. As her head fell +languidly against my shoulder I saw that +again, as fatigue overcame excitement, she +was recovering her wandering consciousness, +and I made haste to take advantage of the +fact.</p> + +<p>'Come,' said I, 'you had better go upstairs +and rest a little while—before you start, you +know.'</p> + +<p>She looked up at me in a dreamy bewildered +manner as she leant, supported by my +arms, against the staircase, and two tears, +shining in the darkness, rolled down her +cheeks. 'I am afraid,' said she in a broken +whisper, 'that I shall not be able to go at all.'</p> + +<p>Then, with a long sigh, she stood up, +twined her arms within mine and let me lead +her upstairs. The door of her room was +open, and the two candles, flickering and<span class="pagenum">[193]</span> +smoking in the draught, cast moving shadows +over a disorder of dress and dainty woman's +clothing flung in confusion about the room. +Babiole glanced inside and then looked up at +me in bewilderment and alarm, like one roused +out of sleep to see something strange and +terrible. I wanted her to go to rest before +her memory should overtake her. So I took +off her bonnet and cloak, and profiting by the +utter docility she showed me, glanced into the +room and said, in a tone of authority, such as +one would use to a child—</p> + +<p>'Now, I shall come upstairs again in exactly +five minutes and shall knock at your +door. If you are in bed by that time you +are to call out "good-night." If you are not, +I shall wake your mother up, and send her to +you. Now will you do as I tell you?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, yes,' said she meekly.</p> + +<p>'Then good-night.'</p> + +<p>'Good-night, Mr. Maude.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[194]</span></p> + +<p>She knew me then; but I somehow +fancied, from the old-fashioned demureness +with which she gave her hand, that she believed +herself to be once more the little maid +of Craigendarroch, and me to be her old +master.</p> + +<p>Next day Babiole did not appear at breakfast, +and her mother said she was in a state +of deep depression, and must, her mother +thought by her manner, have had a fright in +the night. I was very anxious to see her +again, and to find out how much she remembered +of our nocturnal adventure. So +anxious was I, in fact, that I forgot all about +my appointment at Oak Lodge at eleven, +and it was not until Mrs. Ellmer and I were +having luncheon at two that I was suddenly +reminded of my neglect in a rather summary +fashion by being presented by Ferguson with +a note directed in my <i>fiancée's</i> handwriting, +and told that a messenger was waiting. I<span class="pagenum">[195]</span> +opened it, conscience-stricken, but hardly +prepared for the blow it contained. This +was the note:—</p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">Dear Mr. Maude</span>—[The opening was portentous] +It is with feelings of acute pain that I +address thus formally a gentleman in whom I once +thought I had had the good fortune to discover a +heart, and more especially a mind, to which I +could in all things submit the control of my own +weaker and more frivolous nature.' [Lucy Farington +frivolous! Shades of Aristotle and Bacon!] +'For some time past I have begun to feel that I +was deceived. I do not for a moment mean that +you intended deception, but that, in my anxiety +to believe the best, I deceived myself. Your +growing indifference to the dearest wishes of my +heart, culminating in your positive non-appearance +this morning (when I had prepared a little surprise +for you in shape of a meeting with Mr. Finch, +the architect, with his designs for a model self-supporting +village laundry), leave hardly any +room for doubt that our views of life are too hopelessly +dissimilar for us to hope to embark happily +in matrimony. If this is indeed the case, with<span class="pagenum">[196]</span> +much regret I will give you back your liberty, and +request the return of my perhaps foolishly fond +letters. If, on the other hand, you are not willing +that all should be at an end between us, I beg +that you will come to me in the pony carriage +which will await your orders.—I remain, dear Mr. +Maude, with my sincerest apologies if I have been +unduly hasty, yours most sincerely,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Lucy Farington</span>.</p></blockquote> + +<p>My first emotion was one of anger against +the girl for being such a fool; my second was +of thankfulness to her for being so wise. I +should have liked, in pique, to have straightway +got those letters, which she was mistaken +in considering compromisingly affectionate, +to have made them into a small but neat +parcel and despatched them forthwith. Instead +of this, I excused myself to Mrs. Ellmer, +went into the study in a state of excitement, +half pain and half relief, and wrote a note.</p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">My Dear Miss Farington</span>—Your letter +forbids me to address you in a more affectionate<span class="pagenum">[197]</span> +way, though you are mistaken in supposing that +my feelings towards you have changed. It seems +to be that we have both, if I may use the expression, +been running our heads against a brick wall. +You have been seeking in me a learned gentleman +with a strong natural bent for philanthropy, +while I hoped to find in you an intelligent and +withal most kind and loving-hearted girl, who +would condescend to console me for the "slings +and arrows of outrageous fortune," in return for +my very best endeavours to make her happy. +Well, is the mistake past repairing? I am not +too old to learn philanthropy under your guidance; +you, I am sure, are too sweet not to forgive me +for preferring a walk with you alone to interviews +with all the architects who ever desecrated nature. +I cannot come back with the carriage now to see +Mr. Finch; but if you will, in the course of the +afternoon, let me have another ever so short note +telling me to come and see <i>you</i>, I shall take it +as a token that you are willing to give me another +chance, and within half an hour of receiving it I +will be with you to take my first serious lesson in +philanthropy and to pay for it in what love coin +you please.—Believe me, dear Lucy if I may,<span class="pagenum">[198]</span> +dear Miss Farington if I must, yours ever +most faithfully and sincerely,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Henry L. Maude</span>.</p></blockquote> + +<p>I saw the groom drive off with this note, +and spent the early part of the afternoon +wandering about the garden, trying to make +out what sort of answer I wished for. This +was the one I got:—</p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">Dear Mr. Maude</span>—The tone of levity which +characterises your note admits but of one explanation. +No gentleman could so address the lady +whose respect and esteem he sincerely wished to +retain. I therefore return your letters and the +various presents you have been kind enough to +make me, and beg that you will return me my +share of our correspondence. Please do not think +I bear you any ill-will; I am willing to believe +the error was mutual, and shall rather increase +than discontinue my prayers on your behalf, that +your perhaps somewhat pliable nature may not +render you the victim of designing persons.—I +remain, dear Mr. Maude, ever sincerely your +friend,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Lucy Farington</span>.</p></blockquote><p><span class="pagenum">[199]</span></p> + +<p>When I got to the end of this warm-hearted +effusion I rushed off to make up my +parcel: seven notes, a smoking-cap, and a +pair of slippers, which last I regretted giving +up, as they were large and comfortable; a +book on Village Architecture, and another of +sermons by an eloquent and unpractical +modern preacher, completed the list. I +fastened them up, sealed and directed them, +and sent them out to the under-gardener +from 'Oak Lodge,' who had brought the note, +and had been directed to wait for an answer. +Then, with a sense of relief which was unmixed +this time, I went back to my study, +lit my pipe, and sat down in front of the +parcel my late love had sent me. I was +struck by its enormous superiority in neatness +to the ill-shapen brown paper bundle in which +I had just sent off mine; and it presently +occurred to me that the remarkable deftness +with which corners had been turned in and<span class="pagenum">[200]</span> +string knotted and tied could never have +been attained by hands unused to any kind +of active labour. Miss Farington, either +too much overcome by emotion to tie her +parcel up herself, or from an absence of sentiment +which might or might not be considered +to do her credit, had entrusted the task of +sending back my presents to her maid.</p> + +<p>Mechanically I opened the parcel and, not +being deeply enough wounded by the abrupt +termination of my engagement to throw my +rejected gifts with passion into the fire, I +arranged them on the table in a row, spread +out my returned letters (which had all been +neatly opened with a pen—or small paper-knife), +and considered the well-meant but disastrous +venture of which they were the relics +with much thoughtfulness. It had been a +failure from first to last: not only had it +failed to draw my thoughts and affections +from the little pale lady who was now the<span class="pagenum">[201]</span> +wife of my friend, but it had also unhappily +resulted in rendering her by contrast a lovelier +and more desirable object than before. +There was no doubt of it: the only unalloyed +pleasure my <i>fiancée</i> had afforded me was the +increase of delight I had felt, after nearly +three weeks of her improving society, in +meeting my little witch of the hills once more. +On the whole my conscience was pretty clear +with regard to Miss Farington; I had been +prepared to offer her affection, and she had +preferred an interest in domestic architecture, +which I had then sedulously cultivated: the +question was, what was to be done now? I +decided that the most prudent course would +be to say nothing of my rupture with my +lady-love, and if I should be unable to subdue +a certain unwonted hilarity at dinner time, to +ascribe it to other causes.</p> + +<p>I had scarcely made this resolution, however, +when I heard light sounds in the hall<span class="pagenum">[202]</span> +and a knock at my door, and I said 'Come +in' with my heart leaping up and a hot and +feverish conviction that it was all up with the +secret; for the outspread letters which I convulsively +gathered into a heap, the lace +pocket-handkerchief, the chased gold smelling-bottle, +and other articles for which a +bachelor of retired habits would be likely to +have small use, told their own tale; while, to +make matters worse, To-to had got hold of +the engagement ring and had placed it on the +top of his box for safety while he minutely +inspected its morocco case, and chewed up +the velvet lining with all the zest of a +gourmand.</p> + +<p>One helpless glance was all I had time for +before the door opened, and Babiole came in.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[203]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch23.jpg" width="400" height="122" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXIII">CHAPTER XXIII</h2> + + +<p>On hearing the soft tap of Babiole's fingers +on the door of my study, there had sprung up +in me quite suddenly a feeling that my anchor +was gone, and the tempest of human passion +which I had controlled for so long burst out +within me with a violence which made me +afraid of myself. There, on the table before +me, lay the eloquent relics of my rejected +suit to the woman I had tried to love. And +here, shut out from me only by the scarcely-closed +door, was the woman I loved so dearly +without the trying, that just that faint sound +which told me she was near thrilled through +every fibre of my body as the musician's<span class="pagenum">[204]</span> +careless fingers sweep the keys of his instrument +in a lightly-touched prelude before he +makes it sing and throb with any melody he +pleases. I had sprung to my feet and begun +to toss my returned letters one by one with +shaking hands into the fire, when I heard +Babiole's voice behind me.</p> + +<p>I turned abruptly, and it seemed to myself +almost defiantly. But no sooner had I +given one glance at the slender figure dressed +in some plain dark stuff and one into the little +pale face than all the tumult within me began +to calm down, and the roaring, ramping, +raging lion I had felt a moment before transformed +himself gradually before the unconscious +magic of my fairy's eyes into the mild +and meek old lamb he had always been with +her.</p> + +<p>'You seem very busy, Mr. Maude,' said +she, smiling.</p> + +<p>Surely it was my very witch herself again,<span class="pagenum">[205]</span> +only a little thinner and whiter, who spoke to +me thus in the old sweet voice, and held out +her hand with the half-frank, half-shy demureness +of those bygone, painful-pleasant days +when we were 'engaged,' and when the new +and proud discovery that she was 'grown-up' +had given a delicious piquancy to her manner +of taking her lessons! I shook hands with +her, and she pointed to her old chair; as she +took it quite simply and thus had the full +light of the windows on her face, I noticed +with surprise and pleasure that, in spite of the +excitement of the night before, the atmosphere +of her old home was already taking +effect upon her, the listless expression she had +worn in London was disappearing from her +face, and the old childlike look which blue +eyes were meant to wear was coming back +into them again.</p> + +<p>'You are better,' said I gently, taking no +notice of her remark upon my occupation.<span class="pagenum">[206]</span> +'You have been lazy, madam. I am sure +you might very well have come down to +breakfast. You had a good night, I suppose?'</p> + +<p>Ta-ta, who had followed her into the room, +pushed her nose lovingly into her old companion's +hand, and Babiole hid a sensitively +flushing face by bending low over the dog's +sleek head. I think she must have found +out that morning by the confusion in her room +that something had happened the night before, +the details of which she could not remember; +perhaps also she had a vague +remembrance of her expedition downstairs, +and wanted to find out what I knew about it. +But of course I knew nothing.</p> + +<p>'Yes, I—I slept well—thank you. Only I +had dreams.'</p> + +<p>'Did you? Not bad ones, I hope?'</p> + +<p>She glanced at me penetratingly, but +could discover nothing, as I was fighting with<span class="pagenum">[207]</span> +To-to over the fragments of the morocco +ring case.</p> + +<p>'No-o, not exactly bad, but very strange. +Do you know—I found—my travelling hat +and cloak—lying about—and I wondered +whether—in my sleep—I had put them on—thinking +I was—going back to London!'</p> + +<p>All this, uttered very slowly and with +much hesitation, I listened to without interruption, +and then, standing up with my back +to the fire, nodded to her reassuringly.</p> + +<p>'Well, so you did, Mrs. Scott, and a nice +fright your sleep-walking propensities gave +me, I can tell you. It was by the luckiest +chance in the world that I didn't brain you +with the poker for a burglar when I heard +footsteps in the hall in the middle of the +night!'</p> + +<p>'You did!' cried she, pale to the lips with +apprehension.</p> + +<p>'Yes; and when I saw you, you muttered<span class="pagenum">[208]</span> +something I couldn't understand, and then +you half woke up, and you went back quickly +to your room again, leaving me considerably +wider awake than before.'</p> + +<p>'Is that all?' asked Babiole, the faint +colour coming back to her face again.</p> + +<p>'It was quite enough for me, I assure you. +And I hope you will take your walking +exercise for the future in the daytime, when +my elderly nerves are at their best.'</p> + +<p>Babiole laughed, much relieved. She +evidently retained such a vivid impression of +the thoughts which had preyed upon her +excited mind on the previous evening that +she was tormented by the fear or the dim +remembrance of having given them expression. +She now looked with awakening +interest at the odd collection on the table.</p> + +<p>'Are you making preparations for a fancy +bazaar, Mr. Maude?' she asked, taking up +a case which contained a gold thimble.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[209]</span></p> + +<p>But she knew what the exhibition meant, +and she was glad, though neither of us looked +at the other as she put this question, and I +made my answer.</p> + +<p>'No; the bazaar is over, and these are +the things left on my hands.'</p> + +<p>'Then I am afraid—the bazaar—has not +been very successful?' she hazarded playfully, +but in a rather unsteady voice.</p> + +<p>'Not very. My customers were discontented +with their bargain, and wanted their +money back.'</p> + +<p>Babiole's sensitive face flushed suddenly +with hot indignation.</p> + +<p>'How dare she——' she began passionately, +and stopped.</p> + +<p>'My dear Mrs. Scott, these girls dare anything!' +said I lightly, in high spirits at the +warmth with which she took up my cause. +'There is no respect left for the superior sex +now that ladies out-read us, out-write us, outshoot<span class="pagenum">[210]</span> +us, and out-fish us. And the end of it +is that I wash my hands of them, and have +made up my mind to die a bachelor!'</p> + +<p>If she could have known how clearly her +fair eyes showed me every succeeding emotion +of her heart and thought of her brain, as +I glanced with apparent carelessness at her +face while I spoke, she would have died of +shame. I had thought, on that night when +I met her in London when she had charmed +and yet pained me by her brilliant, graceful, +but somewhat artificial manner, that she was +changed, that I should have to learn my +Babiole over again. But it was only the +pretty little closed doors I had seen outside +her shut-up heart. When the heart was +called to, the doors flew open, and here +was the treasure exposed again to every +touch, so that I had read in her mobile +face indignation, affection, jealousy, sympathy, +and finally contentment, before she<span class="pagenum">[211]</span> +remarked in a very demure and indifferent +manner—</p> + +<p>'On the whole I am not sorry, Mr. Maude, +that it is broken off. She wasn't half good +enough for you.'</p> + +<p>'Not good enough for me?' I cried in +affected surprise. I was thirsting for her +pretty praises. 'I'm sure everybody who +knew me thought me a very lucky man.'</p> + +<p>'Nobody who knew both well could have +thought that,' she answered very quietly. +'Wasn't she rude to mamma, whom you +treated as if she were a queen? Is she not +hard and overbearing in her manner to you, +who have offered her the greatest honour +you could give? And wasn't she, for all the +cold charity she prides herself upon, distant +and contemptuous to me when she knew I +had been the object of <i>your</i> charity for seven +years?'</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[212]</span></p><p>'Not charity, child——'</p> + +<p>'Oh, but it was. Charity that was real, +full of heart and warmth and kindness, that +made the world a new place and life a new +thing. Why, Mr. Maude, do you know +what happened that night when you met us +in the cold, outside the theatre at Aberdeen, +when the manager had told us he didn't want +us any more, and we knew that we had hardly +money enough when we had paid for our +lodging for that week to find us food for the +next?'</p> + +<p>There was colour enough in her face now, +as she clasped her hands together and leant +forward upon the table, with her blue eyes +glistening, her sensitive lips quivering slightly, +and a most sweet expression of affection and +gratitude illuminating her whole face. I gave +her only an inarticulate, guttural murmur for +answer, and she went on with a thrill in her +voice.</p> + +<p>'You spoke first, and mamma hurried on,<span class="pagenum">[213]</span> +not knowing your voice, and of course I went +with her. But though I scarcely looked at +you, and certainly did not recognise you, +there was something in your manner, in the +sound of your voice, though I couldn't hear +what you said—something kind, something +chivalrous, that seemed to speak to one's +heart, and made me sorry she didn't stop. +And then, you know, you came after us, and +spoke again; and I heard what you said that +time, and I whispered to mamma who you +were. And then, while you were talking to +her, and I only stood and listened, I felt +suddenly quite happy, for a minute before I +had wondered where the help was coming +from, and now I knew. And I was right +you see.' She bent her head, with an earnest +face, to emphasise her words. 'So that +when poor mamma used to warn me afterwards +of the wickedness of men it all meant +nothing to me. For I only knew one man,<span class="pagenum">[214]</span> +and he was everything that was good and +noble, giving us shelter and sympathy and +beautiful delicate kindness; and to me time +and thought and care that made me, out of a +little ignorant girl, a thinking woman. If +that was not charity, what was it?'</p> + +<p>Now I could have told her what it was; +indeed with that little tender flower-face looking +so ardently up into mine it did really +need a strong effort not to tell her. In the +flow of her grateful recollections she had forgotten +that, the grandfatherly manner I had +cultivated for so long perhaps aiding her; but +I think, as I kept silence, a flash of the truth +came to her, for she grew suddenly shy, and +instead of going on with the list of my benefactions, +as she had been evidently prepared +to do, she took up the lace pocket-handkerchief +which had been one of my gifts to Miss +Farington, and became deeply interested in +the pattern of the border. After a pause she<span class="pagenum">[215]</span> +continued in a much more self-controlled +manner.</p> + +<p>'If Miss Farington's charity had been real, +she would have been interested in the people +you had been kind to.'</p> + +<p>'Now you do the poor girl injustice. She +took the greatest possible interest in you, for +she was jealous.'</p> + +<p>'Jealous! Oh no,' said Babiole with unexpected +decision; and she caught her breath +as she went on rapidly. 'One may hate the +people one is jealous of, but one does not +despise them. One may speak of them bitterly +and scornfully, but all the time one is +almost praying to them in one's heart to have +mercy—to let go what they care for so little, +what one cares for one's self so much. One's +coldness to a person one is really jealous of +is only a thin crust through which the fire +peeps and flashes out. Miss Farington was +not jealous!'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[216]</span></p> + +<p>It was easy enough to see that poor Babiole +spoke from experience of the passion; and +this conviction filled me with rage against +her husband, and against myself for having +brought about her marriage with such an +unappreciative brute. It is always difficult to +realise another person's neglect of a treasure +you have found it hard to part with; so I sat +silently considering Fabian's phenomenal insensibility +for some minutes until at last I +asked abruptly—</p> + +<p>'Who did he make you jealous of?'</p> + +<p>Babiole, who had also been deep in thought, +started.</p> + +<p>'Fabian?' said she in a low voice. Then, +trying to laugh, she added hastily, 'Oh, I was +silly, I was jealous of everybody. You see I +didn't know anything, and because I thought +of nobody but him, I fancied he ought to think +of nobody but me—which of course was unreasonable.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[217]</span></p> + +<p>'I don't think so,' said I curtly. 'Unless +I gave a woman all my affection I shouldn't +expect all hers.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, <i>you</i>!' she exclaimed with a tender +smile. 'There was the mistake; without +knowing it I had been forming my estimate +of men on what I felt to be true of you.' I +did not look at her; but by the way in which +she hurried on after this ingenuous speech, +I knew that a sudden feeling of womanly +shame at her impulsive frankness had set +her blushing. 'But really Fabian was +quite reasonable,' she went on. 'He only +wanted me to give to him what he gave +to me—or at least he thought so,' she +corrected.</p> + +<p>'And what was that?'</p> + +<p>'Well, just enough affection to make us +amiable towards each other when it was impossible +to avoid a <i>tête-à-tête</i>.'</p> + +<p>'But he can't have begun like that! He<span class="pagenum">[218]</span> +admired you, was fond of you. No man +begins by avoiding a bride like you!'</p> + +<p>'Ah, that was the worst of it! For six +weeks he seemed to worship me, and I—I +never knew whether it was wet or fine—warm +or cold. Every wind blew from the south +for me, neither winter nor death could come +near the earth again. We were away, you +know, in Normandy and Brittany—when I +try to think of heaven I always see the sea +with the sun on it, and the long stretches of +sand. Before we came back I knew—I felt—that +a change was coming, that life would +not be always like that; but I did not know, of +course I could not know, what a great change +it would be. Fabian said, "Our holiday is +over now, dearest, we must get to work again! +My Art is crying to me." Well, I was ready +enough to yield to the claims of Art, real Art, +not the poor ghost of it papa used to call +up; and I was eager for my husband to take<span class="pagenum">[219]</span> +a foremost place among artists, as I knew and +felt he could do. But when we got back to +England—to London—to this Art which was +calling to us to shorten our holiday, I found—or +thought I found—that it had handsome +aquiline features, and a title, and that it wore +splendid gowns of materials which my husband +had to choose, and that it found its own husband +and its own friends wearisome, and—well, +that Fabian was painting her portrait, +which was to make his fortune and proclaim +him a great painter.'</p> + +<p>'Who was she?' I asked in a low voice.</p> + +<p>She named the beautiful countess whose +portrait I had seen on Scott's mantelpiece +on the morning when I visited him at his +chambers.</p> + +<p>'She came to our rooms several times for +sittings, as she had gone to his studio before +he married me. But she found it was too far +to come—Bayswater being so much farther<span class="pagenum">[220]</span> +than Jermyn Street from Kensington Palace +Gardens!—and he had to finish the picture +in her house. How the world swam round +me, and my brain hammered in my head on +those dreadful days when I knew he was with +her, glancing at her with those very glances +which used to set my heart on fire and make +me silent with deep passionate happiness. I +had seen him look at her like that when he +gave her those few sittings which she found +so tiresome because, I suppose, of my jealous +eyes. I never said anything—I didn't, indeed, +Mr. Maude, for I knew he was the +man, and I was only the woman, and I must +be patient; but the misery and disappointment +began to eat into my soul when I found +that those looks I had loved and cherished +so were never to be given to me again. At +first I thought it would be all right when this +portrait was painted and done with; this +brilliant lady's caprice of liking for my clever<span class="pagenum">[221]</span> +husband would be over, and I should have, +not only the careless kindness which never +failed, but the old glowing warmth that I +craved like a child starving in the snow. +But it never came back.' A dull hopelessness +was coming into her voice as she continued +speaking, and her great eyes looked yearningly +out over the feathery larches in the +avenue to the darkening sky. 'When that +picture was finished there were other pictures, +and there were amateur theatricals to be +superintended, where the "eye of a true +artist" was wanted, but where there was no +use at all for a true artist's wife. And there +were little scented notes to be answered, and +their writers to be called upon; and as I had +from the first accepted Fabian's assurance +that an artist's marriage could be nothing +more than an episode in his life, and that the +less it interrupted the former course of his life +the happier that marriage would be, there was<span class="pagenum">[222]</span> +nothing for me but to submit, and to live on, +as I told you, outside.'</p> + +<p>'But you were wrong, you should have +spoken out to him—reproached him, moved +him!' I burst out—jumping up, and playing, +in great excitement, with the things on the +mantelpiece, unable to keep still.</p> + +<p>'I did,' she answered sadly. 'One night, +when he was going to the theatre to act as +usual—he had just got an engagement—he +told me not to sit up, he was going to the +Countess's to meet some great foreign painter—I +forget his name. The mention of her +name drove me suddenly into a sort of frenzy; +for he had just been sweet to me, and I had +fancied—just for a moment, that the old times +might come back. And I forgot all my +caution, all my patience. I said angrily, +"The Countess, the Countess! Am I never +to hear the last of her? What do you want in +this idle great lady's drawing-rooms when your<span class="pagenum">[223]</span> +own wife is wearing her heart out for you at +home?" Then his face changed, and I shook +and trembled with terror. For he looked at +me as if I had been some hateful creeping +thing that had suddenly appeared before him +in the midst of his enjoyment. He drew +himself away from me, and said in a voice that +seemed to cut through me, "I had no idea +you were jealous." I faltered out, "No, no," +but he interrupted me. "Please don't make +a martyr of yourself, Babiole. Since you +desire it, I shall come straight home from the +theatre."'</p> + +<p>'He ought to have married Miss Farington!' +said I heartily.</p> + +<p>Babiole went on: 'I called to him not to +do so; begged him not to mind my silly words. +But he went out without speaking to me +again. All the evening I tortured myself +with reproaches, with fears, until, almost +mad, I was on the point of going to the<span class="pagenum">[224]</span> +theatre to implore him to forgive and forget +my wretched paltry jealousy. But I hoped +that he would not keep his word. I was +wrong. Before I even thought the piece +could be over he returned, having come as he +said, straight home. I don't think he can +know, even now, how horribly cruel he was +to me that night. He meant to give me a +lesson, but he did not know how thorough the +lesson would be. Seeing that he had come +back, although against his wish, I tried my +very utmost to please, to charm him, to show +him how happy his very presence could make +me. He answered me, he talked to me, he +told me interesting things—but all in the tone +he would have used to a stranger, placing a +barrier between us which all my efforts could +not move. In fact he showed me clearly +once for all that, however kind and courteous +he might be to me, I had no more influence +over him than one of the lay figures in his<span class="pagenum">[225]</span> +studio. That night I could not sleep, but +next morning I was a different woman. A +little water will make a fire burn more fiercely; +a little more puts it out. Even Fabian, +though he did not really care for me, could +not think the change in me altogether for the +better; but his deliberate unkindness had +suddenly cleared my sight and shown me that +I was beating out my soul against a rock of +hard immovable selfishness. He was nicer +to me after a while, for he began to find out +that he had lost something when I made +acquaintances who thought me first interesting +and presently amusing. But he never +asked me for the devotion he had rejected, +he never wanted it; he is always absorbed in +half a dozen new passions; a Platonic friendship +with a beauty, a furious dispute with an +artist of a different school, a wild admiration +for a rising talent. And so I have become, +as I was bound to become, loving him as I<span class="pagenum">[226]</span> +did, just what he said an artist's wife should +be—a slave; getting the worst, the least +happy, the least worthy, part of his life, and +all the time remaining discontented, and +chafing against the chain.'</p> + +<p>'Yet you have never had cause to be +seriously jealous?'</p> + +<p>Babiole hesitated, blushed, and the tears +came to her eyes.</p> + +<p>'I don't know. And—I know it sounds +wicked, but I could almost say I don't care. +I am to my husband like an ingenious +automaton, moving almost any way its possessor +pleases; but it has no soul—and I +think he hardly misses that!'</p> + +<p>'But that is nonsense, my dear child; you +have just as much soul as ever.'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes, it has come to life again here +among the hills. But when I go back to +London——'</p> + +<p>'Well?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[227]</span></p> + +<p>'I shall leave it up here—with you—to +take care of till I come back again.'</p> + +<p>She had risen and was half laughing; but +there was a tremor in her voice.</p> + +<p>'Where are you going?' I asked as I saw +her moving towards the door.</p> + +<p>'I am going to see if there is a letter from +Fabian to say when he is coming. I saw +Tim come up the avenue with the papers.'</p> + +<p>'But Fabian can't know himself yet!' I +objected. However that might be, she was +gone, leaving me to a consideration of the +brilliant ability I had shown in match-making, +both for myself and my friends.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep23.jpg" width="130" height="135" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[228]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch24.jpg" width="400" height="122" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXIV">CHAPTER XXIV</h2> + + +<p>When I joined Mrs. Ellmer and her daughter +that evening, I found that the former lady +was oppressed by the conviction that 'something +had happened,' something interesting +of which there was an evil design abroad to +keep her in ignorance. She had been +questioning Babiole I felt sure, and getting +no satisfactory replies; for while there was +a suspicious halo of pale rose-colour—which +in my sight did not detract from her beauty—about +the younger lady's eyes, her mother +made various touching references to the +cruelty of want of confidence, and at last, +after several tentative efforts, got on the<span class="pagenum">[229]</span> +right track by observing that my 'young +lady' was not very exacting, since I had not +been near her that day. This remark set +both her daughter and me blushing furiously, +and Mrs. Ellmer, figuratively speaking, gave +the 'view halloo.' After a very short run I +was brought to earth, and confessed that—er—Miss +Farington and I—er—had had a—in +fact a disagreement—a mere lover's quarrel. +It would soon blow over—but just at present—that +is for a day or two, why——</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer interrupted my laboured +explanation with a delighted and shrill little +giggle.</p> + +<p>'And so you've had a quarrel! Well, +really, Mr. Maude, as an old friend, you +must allow me to take this opportunity—before +you make it up again, you know—to +tell you that really I think you are throwing +yourself away.'</p> + +<p>The truth was that the poor little woman<span class="pagenum">[230]</span> +had been smarting, ever since Miss Farington's +visit, from the supercilious scorn with +which that well-informed young lady had +treated her. I protested, but very mildly; +for, indeed, to hear a little gentle disapprobation +of my late too matter-of-fact love gave +me no acute pain.</p> + +<p>'I wouldn't for the world have said anything +before, you know, for if, of course, a +person's love affairs are not his own business, +whose are they? But having known +you so long, I really must say, now that +I can open my lips without indiscretion, that +the moment I saw that stuck-up piece of +affectation I said to myself: "She must +have asked him!"'</p> + +<p>I assured Mrs. Ellmer that was not the +case, but she paid little heed to my contradiction. +She had relieved her feelings, that +was the great thing, and it was with recovered +calmness that she inquired after the friends<span class="pagenum">[231]</span> +who had made my yearly shooting party in +the old times. I knew little more of them +than she did; for that last gathering, when +Fabian won my pretty witch's heart, had +indeed been the farewell meeting predicted +by Maurice Brown. That young author +having shocked the public with one exceedingly +nasty novel, had followed it up by +another which would have shocked them still +more if they had read it; this, however, they +refrained from doing with a unanimity which +might have proved disastrous to his reputation +if a well-known evening paper had not +offered him a good berth as a sort of inspector +of moral nuisances, a post which the +clever young Irishman filled with all the +requisite zeal and indiscretion. As for Mr. +Fussell, he had done well for himself in the +city, and now leased a shooting-box of his +own. While Edgar, my dear old friend and +chum, had fallen back into the prosperous<span class="pagenum">[232]</span> +ranks of the happily married, and was now +less troubled by political ambition than by a +tendency to grow fat.</p> + +<p>The ten days which followed the rupture +of my engagement to Miss Farington passed +in a great calm, troubled only by a growing +sense of dread, both to Babiole and me, of +what was to come after. She got well +rapidly, quite well, as nervous emotional +creatures do when once the moral atmosphere +about them is right. For it was the +loving sympathy of every living being round +her, from her mother down—or up to Ta-ta, +which worked the better part of her cure, +though I admit that the hills and the fir-trees +and the fresh sweet air had their share +in it. She went out every day, sometimes +with her mother and me, oftener with me +and Ta-ta, as Mrs. Ellmer's strong dislike to +walking exercise did not decrease as the +years rolled on. As for Babiole, I thank<span class="pagenum">[233]</span> +God that the pleasure of those walks in the +crisp air up the hills and through the glens +was unallayed for her. The tarnish which +want of warmth and sympathy had breathed +on her childlike and trusting nature was +wearing off; and her old faith in the companion +to whom she had graciously given a +place in her heart as the incarnation of kindness +had only grown the stronger for the +glimpses she had lately had of something +deeper underneath. I even think that in the +languid and irresponsible convalescence of +her heart and mind from the wounds her +unlucky marriage had dealt to both, she +cherished a superstitious feeling that now I +had returned from my travels it would come +all right, and that I should be able to mend +the defects of the marriage by another exercise +of the magical skill which had brought +it about. So she chattered or sang or was +silent at her pleasure, as we walked between<span class="pagenum">[234]</span> +the now bare hedges beside the swollen Dee, +or climbed on a thick carpet of rustling +brown oak leaves up Craigendarroch, and +noticed how day by day the mantle of snow +on Lochnagar grew wider and ampler, and +how the soft wail of the wind among the fir-trees +in summer-time had grown into an +angry and threatening roar, as if already +hungering for those days and nights of loud +March when the tempest would tear up the +young saplings from the mountain-sides like +reeds and hurl them down pell-mell over the +decaying trunks which already choked up +the hill-paths, and told of the storms of past +years. She would look into my face from +time to time to see if I was happy, for she +had got the trick of reading through that +ugly mask; if the look satisfied her, she +either talked or was silent as she pleased, but +if she fancied she detected the least sign of +a cloud, she never rested until, by sweet<span class="pagenum">[235]</span> +words and winning looks, she had driven it +away.</p> + +<p>I, poor devil, was of course happy after a +very different fashion. The blood has not +yet cooled to any great extent at six and +thirty, and blue eyes that have haunted you +for seven years lose none of their witchery at +that age, when the demon Reason throws his +weight into the scale on the side of Evil, and +tells you that the years are flitting by, +carrying away the time for happiness, and +that the beauty which steeps you to the soul +in longing has been left unheeded by its +possessor like a withered flower. But +Babiole's perfect confidence was her safeguard +and mine, and like the wind among +the pines, I kept my tumults within due +bounds. I was, however, occasionally distressed +by a consideration for which I had +never cared a straw before—what the neighbours +would say. If I, an indifferent honest<span class="pagenum">[236]</span> +man, really had some trouble in keeping unworthy +thoughts and impulses down within +me, what sort of conduct these carrion-hunting +idiots would ascribe to a man, whom +they looked upon as an importer of foreign +vices and the type of all that was godless +and lawless, was pretty evident. They +would all, in a commonplace chorus, take the +part of the commonplace Miss Farington, +and unite in condemnation of poor Babiole. +Now no man likes to let the reputation of +his queen of the earth be pulled to pieces by +a cackling crew of idiots, and, therefore, +though I had not enough strength of mind to +suggest giving up those treasured walks, I +began, torn by my struggling feelings, to +look forward feverishly to the letter which +Fabian had promised to send off as soon as +he knew on what date he would be free to +come north. His wife herself showed no +eagerness.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[237]</span></p> + +<p>'He is the very worst of correspondents,' +she said. 'He will probably write a letter +to say he is coming just before starting, post +it at one of the last stations he passes +through, and arrive here before it.'</p> + +<p>It did not comfort me to learn thus that +he might come at any moment. My conscience +was pretty clear, but I wanted to +have a fair notice of his arrival, that I might +receive him in such a manner as to prepare +the peccant husband for the desperately +earnest sermon I had made up my mind to +preach him on what his wife called neglect, +but what I felt sure was infidelity.</p> + +<p>A very serious addition to the cares I felt +on behalf of my old pupil came upon me in +the shape of a rumour, communicated by Ferguson +in a mysterious manner, that a strange +figure had been seen by the keepers in the +course of the past week, wandering about the +hills in the daytime and hovering in the<span class="pagenum">[238]</span> +vicinity of the Hall towards evening. I +spoke with one of the men who had seen +him, and from what he said I could have no +doubt that the wanderer was the unlucky +Ellmer who, as I found by sending off a +telegram to the lunatic asylum where he had +been for some time confined, had been missing +for four days and was supposed to be +dangerous. I at once gave orders for a +search to be made for him, being much +alarmed by the possibility of his presenting +himself suddenly to either of the two poor +ladies, who were not even aware of his condition. +The first day's scouring of the hills +and of the forest proved fruitless, however, +while Babiole was much surprised at the pertinacity +with which I insisted that the wind +was too keen for her to go out. On the +second day I think she began to have suspicions +that something was being kept from +her, for on my suggesting that she had better<span class="pagenum">[239]</span> +stay indoors again, as the keepers were out +shooting very near the Hall, she gave me a +shy apprehensive glance, but made no remonstrance. +As I started to 'make a round +with the keeper,' as I truly told her, though +I did not explain with what object, she came +to the door with me, making a beautiful picture +under the ivy of the portico, her white +throat rising out of her dark gown like a lily, +and the pink colour which the mountain air +had brought back again flushing and fading +in her face.</p> + +<p>'Well,' said I, looking at her with a great +yearning over the fairness and brightness +which were so soon to disappear from my +sight, to be swallowed up in the fogs and the +fever of London life, 'Well, I shall call at the +post-office, and see if I can't charm out of the +post-mistress's fingers a letter from Fabian.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, you want to get rid of us!' said she, +half smiling, half reproachful.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[240]</span></p> + +<p>'No-o,' said I, looking down at my gaiters, +'Not so particularly.'</p> + +<p>Then we neither of us said any more, but +stood without looking at each other. I don't +know what she was thinking about, but I +know that I began to grow blind and deaf +even to the sight of her and the sound of the +tapping of her little foot upon the step; the +roar of the rain-swollen Muick in the valley +below seemed to have come suddenly nearer, +louder, to be thundering close to my ears, +raising to tempest height the passionate excitement +within me, and shrieking out forebodings +of the desolation which would fall +upon me when my poor witch should have +fled away. I was thankful to be brought +back to commonplace by the shrill tones of +Mrs. Ellmer, who had followed her daughter +to the doorstep, and who encouraged me with +much banter about my shooting powers as I +set off.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[241]</span></p> + +<p>The gillie who accompanied me was a +long, lank, weedy young Highlander, silent +and shrewd, who was already a valuable servant, +and who promised to develop into a fine +specimen of stalwart Gaelic humanity before +many years were over. We made the circuit +of that part of the forest near the Hall which +had been appointed our beat for the day, but +failed to find any trace of the fugitive. Jock +was not surprised at this.</p> + +<p>'A mon wi' a bee in's bonnet's nae sa daft +but a' can mak' the canny ones look saft if a' +will,' said he with a wise look.</p> + +<p>And his opinion, which I apprehensively +shared, was that the fugitive would not be +secured until he had given us some trouble.</p> + +<p>It was a cold and gloomy day. The +chilling penetrating Scotch mist shrouded the +whole landscape with a mournful gray veil, +and gave place, as the day wore on and the +leaden clouds grew heavier, to a thin but<span class="pagenum">[242]</span> +steady snow-fall. I left Jock, as the time +drew near for the arrival of the train that +brought the London letters, to return to the +Hall without me, and got to Ballater post-office +just as the mail-bag was being carried +across from the little station, which is just +opposite. In a few minutes I had got my +papers, and a letter for Babiole in her husband's +handwriting. The snow was falling +faster by this time, and already drifting +before the rising wind into little heaps and +ridges by the wayside and on the exposed +stretch of somewhat bare and barren land +which lies between Ballater and the winding +Dee. I walked back at a quick pace, scanning +the small snow-drifts narrowly, measuring +with my eyes the progress the soft white +covering was making, and wondering with +the foolish heart-quiver and miracle-hunger +of a school-boy on the last day of the +holidays, whether that snow-fall would have<span class="pagenum">[243]</span> +the courage and strength of mind to go on +bravely as it had begun, and snow us up! +If only the train would stop running—it did +sometimes in the depths of a severe winter—and +cut off all possibility of my witch being +taken away from me for another month. I +had worshipped her so loyally, I had been so +'good,' as she used to say—I couldn't resist +giving myself this little pat on the back—that +surely Providence might trust me with my +wistful but well-conducted happiness a little +longer. And all the time I knew that my +solicitous questionings of sky and snow were +futile and foolish, that I was carrying the +death-warrant of my dangerous felicity in my +pocket, and that if I had a spark of sense or +manliness left in my wool-gathering old head, +I ought to be heartily glad of it.</p> + +<p>The notion of the death-warrant disturbed +me, however, and when I burst into the +drawing room where Mrs. Ellmer was darning<span class="pagenum">[244]</span> +a handsome old tapestry curtain, and looking, +with her worn delicate face, pink with interest, +rather pretty over it, I felt nervous as I asked +for Babiole. She entered behind me before +the question was out of my mouth, and I put +the letter into her hands without another +word, and retreated to one of the windows +while she opened and read it. She was +moved too, and her little fingers shook as they +tore the envelope. I felt so guiltily anxious +to know whether she was pleased that I was +afraid if I glanced in her direction she would +look up suddenly and detect my meanness. +So I looked out of the window and watched +the snow collecting on the branches of the +firs outside, while Mrs. Ellmer, without pausing +in her work, wondered volubly whether +Fabian wasn't ashamed of himself for having +left his wife so long without a letter, and +would like to know what he had got to say +for himself now he had written. Then suddenly<span class="pagenum">[245]</span> +the mother gave a little piercing cry, +and I, turning at once, saw that Babiole, +standing on the same spot where I had seen +her last, and holding her husband's letter +tightly clenched in her hands, seemed to have +changed in a moment from a young, sweet, +and beautiful woman into a livid and haggard +old one. She had lost all command of the +muscles of her face, and while her eyes, from +which the dewy blue had faded, stared out +before her in a meaningless gaze, the pallid +lips of her open mouth twitched convulsively, +although she did not attempt to utter a +word.</p> + +<p>Her mother was by her side in a moment, +while I stood looking stupidly on, articulating +hoarsely and with difficulty—</p> + +<p>'The letter! Is it the letter!'</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer snatched the paper out of her +daughter's hands so violently that she tore it, +and supporting Babiole with one arm, read<span class="pagenum">[246]</span> +the letter through to the end, while I kept my +eyes fixed upon her in a tumult of feelings I +did not dare to analyse. As she read the last +word she tossed it over to me with her light +eyes flashing like steel.</p> + +<p>'Read it, read it!' she cried, as the paper +fell at my feet. 'See what sort of a husband +you have given my poor child!'</p> + +<p>The words and the action roused Babiole, +who had scarcely moved except to shiver in +her mother's arms. She drew herself away +as if stung back to life, and a painful rush of +blood flowed to her face and neck as she +made two staggering steps forward, picked up +the letter, and walked quietly, noiselessly, with +her head bent and her whole frame drooping +with shame, out of the room. Mrs. Ellmer +would have followed, but I stopped her.</p> + +<p>'Don't go,' I said in a husky voice. +'Leave her to herself a little while first. If +she wants comforting, it will come with more<span class="pagenum">[247]</span> +force later when she has got over the first +shock. What was it?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, nothing,' said Mrs. Ellmer, who had +become more acid on her daughter's behalf +than she had ever been on her own. 'Nothing +but what every married woman must expect.'</p> + +<p>'Well, and what's that?'</p> + +<p>She gave a little grating laugh.</p> + +<p>'You a man and you ask that!'</p> + +<p>'I'm a man, but not a married man, remember. +Don't impute to me the misdemeanours +I have had no chance of committing. +Now what was it? Fabian wrote +unkindly, I suppose.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, <i>dear</i> no. It was very much the +kindest letter from him I have ever seen.'</p> + +<p>'Did he put off his coming then?'</p> + +<p>'Not at all. He made an appointment to +meet his darling in Edinburgh.'</p> + +<p>'Edinburgh!' I echoed in amazement. +'Why Edinburgh?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[248]</span></p> + +<p>'Why not, Mr. Maude?' said she, in a +harder voice than ever. 'It's a very pretty +place, and two people who are fond of each +other may spend a pleasant enough time +together there. Only Mr. Scott spoilt his +nice little plan by a stupid mistake. Into the +envelope he had addressed to his wife he +slipped his letter to another woman!'</p> + +<p>With a glance of disgust at me which was +meant to include my whole sex, Mrs. Ellmer, +with the best tragic manner of her old stage +days, left me stupefied with rage and remorse, +as she sailed out of the room.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep24.jpg" width="130" height="145" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[249]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch25.jpg" width="400" height="121" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXV">CHAPTER XXV</h2> + + +<p>At the time when the mind is oppressed by +a long-gathering cloud of passionate yet +scarcely defined anxiety, the awakening crash +of an event, even of an event tragic in its +consequences, is a relief. This miserable +letter, therefore, exposing as it did in unmistakable +terms Fabian's infidelity, shook +me free of the morbid imaginings and unwholesome +yearnings to which I had lately +been a prey, and set me the more worthy +task of devising some means of helping both +my friends out of the deadlock to which +I myself had unwittingly helped them to +come.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[250]</span></p> + +<p>For the first time I was sorry for Fabian. +A serious fault committed by a person whom +accidents of birth or circumstance have +brought near to one's self sets one thinking of +one's own 'near shaves,' and after that the +tide of mercy flows in steadily. How was I, +who had never been able to conquer my own +love for an unattainable woman, to blame this +man of much more combustible temperament, +whom I had myself induced to form a marriage +with a girl whom I had no means of +knowing to be first in his heart? I would +take no high moral tone with him now; I +would speak to him frankly as man to man, +hold myself blameworthy for my own share +in the unlucky matrimonial venture, and +appeal to the sense and kindness I knew he +possessed not to let the punishment for my +indiscretion fall upon the only one of us three +who was entirely free from blame. There +crossed my mind at this point of my reflections<span class="pagenum">[251]</span> +an unpleasant remembrance of the +manner in which Fabian had received a +somewhat similar appeal from me years ago, +and down at the bottom of my heart there +lurked a conviction that he would hear whatever +I might say without offence, and neglect +it without scruple. However, it was impossible +to be silent now; and as the gray day +dissolved into darkness, and the only light in +the study, to which I had retreated, came +from the glowing peat-fire, I got up from the +old leather chair which was consecrated to +my reveries, and with one glance through +the eastern window out at the great woolly +flakes of snow that were now falling thickly, +I left the room and went in search of Mrs. +Ellmer.</p> + +<p>I heard her voice in her daughter's room, +and knocking at the door, called to her softly. +She came out at once, and by her gentle +manner I judged that she was already contrite<span class="pagenum">[252]</span> +for having treated me so cavalierly at +our late interview.</p> + +<p>'How is Babiole?' I asked first.</p> + +<p>'She is quiet now and much better, Mr. +Maude. Would you like to see her?'</p> + +<p>'Well, no; I couldn't do her so much +good as you can. I wanted to speak to you. +I've been thinking; of course Fabian wrote +two letters, and put them into the wrong +envelopes. Then the letter he intended for +his wife told her when he was coming, while +the other letter made an appointment on the +way. Can you find out by the letter which +has come to your hands when he expects to +arrive here?'</p> + +<p>'It was written the night before last; the +appointment was for last night,' answered she +with a fresh access of acidity.</p> + +<p>'Then he probably meant to come on here +to-day. I think I'll go to Ballater and meet +the six o'clock train; I shall just have time.<span class="pagenum">[253]</span> +And if he doesn't come by that I'll telegraph +to Edinburgh. What address does he give +there?'</p> + +<p>'Royal Hotel. But you don't suppose +that he will dare to come on here when he +finds out what he has done?'</p> + +<p>'I don't suppose he will find out till he +gets here.'</p> + +<p>'I hope, Mr. Maude, if he does come, you +will persuade Babiole to show a little spirit. +She seems inclined at present to receive him +back like a lamb.'</p> + +<p>I was sorry to hear this, because it suggested +to me that her feeling for her husband +had declined even below the point of indifference. +I left Mrs. Ellmer and went downstairs +to put on my mackintosh and prepare +for my tramp in the snow. The lamp in the +hall had not yet been lighted, and I was fumbling +in the darkness for my deer-stalker on +the pegs of the hat-stand when I heard my<span class="pagenum">[254]</span> +name called in a hoarse whisper from the +staircase just above me. I turned, and saw +the outline of Babiole's head against the faint +candle-light which fell upon the landing above +through the open door of her room.</p> + +<p>'Mr. Maude,' she repeated, trying to clear +and steady her voice. 'Where are you +going?'</p> + +<p>'Only as far as the village,' said I in a +robust and matter-of-fact tone.</p> + +<p>'Are you going to meet Fabian?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, if he is anywhere about.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, I thought so!' burst from her lips in +a sharp whisper. She came down two more +steps hurriedly: 'You are not to reproach +him, Mr. Maude, you are not to plead for +me, do you hear? What good can you do +by interceding for a love which is dead? I +was jealous when I read that letter, but not +so jealous as shocked, wounded. And now +that I have thought a little I am not jealous<span class="pagenum">[255]</span> +at all; so what right have I to be even +wounded? This lady he wrote to he has +admired for a long time, and though I never +knew anything before, I guessed. She is a +beauty, her photograph is in all the windows, +and a little fringe of scandal hangs about her. +She has dash, <i>éclat</i>, brilliancy; I have heard +him say so. So he is consistent, you see, +after all. I can acknowledge that now, and +I don't feel angry.'</p> + +<p>Her voice was indeed quite calm, although +unutterably sad. But I noticed and rejoiced +in the absence of that bitterness which had +jarred on me so painfully in London.</p> + +<p>'I do though,' I said gruffly.</p> + +<p>'But you must not show it. You cannot +reconcile us through the heart, for you cannot +make him a different man. You must be +satisfied with knowing that you have made +me a better wife. I am just as much stronger +in heart and mind as I am in health since I<span class="pagenum">[256]</span> +have been up here; I wanted to tell you that +while I had the opportunity, to tell you that +you have cured me, and to—thank you.'</p> + +<p>As she uttered the last words in a low, +sweet, lingering tone, a light burst suddenly +upon us and showed me what the darkness +had hidden—an expression on her pale face +of beautiful strength and peace, as if indeed +the quiet hills and the dark sweet-scented +forests and the two human hearts that cared +for her had poured some elixir into her soul +to fortify it against indifference and neglect.</p> + +<p>A little dazzled and befooled by her lovely +appearance, I stood gazing at her face without +a thought as to where the idealising light +came from, until I heard at the other end of +the hall a grating preliminary cough, and +turning, saw that it was Ferguson, entering +with the lamp, who had brought about this +poetical effect. He had something to say +to me evidently, since instead of advancing<span class="pagenum">[257]</span> +to place the light on its usual table, he +remained standing at a distance still and stiff +as a statue of resignation, as his custom was +when his soul was burning to deliver itself +of an unsolicited communication.</p> + +<p>'Well, Ferguson!' said I.</p> + +<p>'Yes, sir,' said he, with another cough.</p> + +<p>But he did not come forward. Now I +knew this was a sign that he considered +his errand serious, and I moved a few steps +towards him and beckoned him to me.</p> + +<p>'Anything to tell me?' I asked; and as he +glanced at Babiole I came nearer still.</p> + +<p>'Jock has just been in to say, sir, that a +gun has been stolen from his cottage.'</p> + +<p>Babiole, who had not moved away, overheard, +and must have guessed the import of +this, for I heard behind me a long-drawn +breath caused by some sudden emotion.</p> + +<p>'When did he miss it?' I asked in a very +low voice.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[258]</span></p> + +<p>'Just now, sir. He came straight here +to tell you of it. It must have been taken +while he was out on his rounds this afternoon.'</p> + +<p>I did not think the poor crack-brained +creature whom I guessed to be the thief was +likely to do much mischief with his prize. +But I told Ferguson to put all the keepers on +their guard, and to take care that such crazy +old bolts and bars as we used in that primitive +part of the world should be drawn and +raised, so that the unlucky fugitive should +not be able to possess himself of any more +weapons. I also directed that the search +about the grounds should be kept up, and +that if the poor wretch were caught, he was +to be treated with all gentleness, and taken +to the now disused cottage to await my +return.</p> + +<p>It was now so late that if Fabian had +come by the four o'clock train he must by<span class="pagenum">[259]</span> +this time be half way from the station. But +it was possible that he had already discovered +the mistake of the letters, and had felt a shyness +about continuing a journey which was +likely to bring him to a cold welcome; so I +stuck to my intention of going to Ballater +either to meet him if he had arrived, or to +telegraph to him if he had not. When I had +finished speaking to Ferguson, I found that +Babiole had disappeared from the hall. I was +rather glad of it; for I had dreaded her questioning, +and I hurried the preparations for +my walk so that in a few moments I was out +of the house and safe from the difficult task +of calming her fears.</p> + +<p>It was already night when I shut the halldoor +behind me and stepped out on to the +soft white covering which was already thick +on the ground. The snow was still falling +thickly, and the only sound I heard, as I +groped my way under the arching trees of<span class="pagenum">[260]</span> +the avenue, was the occasional swishing noise +of a load of snow that, dislodged by a fresh +burden from the upper branch of a fir-tree, +brushed the lower boughs as it fell to the earth. +I am constitutionally untroubled by nervous +tremors, and I was too deeply occupied with +thoughts of Fabian and his wife to give much +grave consideration to possible danger from +the unhappy lunatic who was now in all probability +hidden somewhere in the neighbourhood +with a weapon in his possession; but +when in the oppressive darkness and stillness +the tramp of footsteps in the soft snow just +behind me fell suddenly on my ears, I +confess that it was with my heart in my +mouth, as the dairymaids say, that I turned +and raised threateningly the thick stick I +carried. It was, however, only Jock, gun +in hand as usual, who had run fast to overtake me, +and had come upon me sooner than +he expected, the small lantern he carried<span class="pagenum">[261]</span> +in his hand being of little use in the darkness.</p> + +<p>'What made you come, Jock?' I asked, +not, to tell the truth, sorry to have a companion +upon the lonely forest road which +seemed on this night, for obvious reasons, a +more gloomy promenade than usual.</p> + +<p>'Mistress Scott bid me gang wi' ye, sir,' +answered he. 'She said the necht was sae +dark ye might miss the pairth by the +burn.'</p> + +<p>We walked on together in silence until, +having left the avenue far behind us, we +were well in the hilly and winding road +which runs through the forest from Loch +Muick to the Dee. At one of the many +bends in the roadway Jock suddenly stopped +and stood in a listening attitude.</p> + +<p>'Deer?' said I.</p> + +<p>'Nae,' answered he, after a pause, in a +measured voice, 'It's nae deer.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[262]</span></p> + +<p>He said no more, but examined the +barrels of his gun by the light of the lantern, +and walked on at a quicker pace. I had +heard nothing, but his manner put me on +the alert, and it was with a sense of coming +adventure that, peering before me in the +darkness and straining my ears to catch +the faintest sound, I strode on beside the +sturdy young Highlander. Warned as I +was, it was with a sickening horror that, a +moment later, I too heard sounds which had +already caught his keener ears. Muffled by +the falling snow, by the intervening trees, +there came faintly through the air the hoarse +yelping cries of a madman. I glanced at +the stolid figure by my side.</p> + +<p>'Was that what you heard, Jock?' I +asked stupidly, more anxious for the sound +of his voice than for his answer.</p> + +<p>'I dinna ken, sir, if ye heard what I +heard,' said he cautiously.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[263]</span></p> + +<p>All the while we were walking at our best +pace through the snow. It seemed a long +time before, at one of the sharpest turns of +the road, Jock laid his hand on my shoulder +and we stopped. There was nothing to be +seen but trees, trees, the patch of clear snow +before us and the falling flakes. But we +could plainly hear the noise of tramping feet +and hoarse guttural cries—</p> + +<p>'I've done it, I've done it! I said I +would, and I've kept my word! I've done +it, I've done it, I've done it!'</p> + +<p>The tramping feet seemed to beat time +to the words. I had hardly distinguished +these cries when I started forward again, and +dashing round the angle of the road with a +vague fear at my heart, I came close upon +the wild weird figure of the unhappy madman +who, with his hat off and his long lank +hair tossed and dishevelled, was dancing uncouthly +in the deep shadow of the trees and<span class="pagenum">[264]</span> +chanting to himself the words we had heard. +On the ground at one side of him lay the +stolen gun, and at the other, close to the +bank which bordered the road on the left, +was some larger object, which in the profound +darkness I could not at first define. With a +sudden spring I easily seized the lunatic and +held him fast, while Jock lifted the lantern +high so as to see his face. As the rays of +light fell upon me, however, Mr. Ellmer, +who had been too utterly bewildered by the +sudden attack to make sign or sound, gave +forth a loud cry, and staring at me with +starting eyeballs and distorted shaking lips +stammered out—</p> + +<p>'It's he, he himself! Come back! Oh +my God, I am cursed, cursed!'</p> + +<p>In the surprise and fear these words inspired +me with I released my hold, so that he +might with a very slight effort have shaken +himself free of my grasp. But he stood<span class="pagenum">[265]</span> +quite still, as if overmastered by some power +that he did not dare to dispute, and allowed +himself to be transferred from my keeping +to Jock's without any show of resistance. +As soon as my hands were thus free, the +young Highlander silently passed me the +lantern, which I took in a frenzy of excitement +which precluded the reception of any +defined dread. I fell back a few steps until +the faint rays of the light I carried showed +me, blurred by the falling snow, the outline +of the dark object I had already seen on the +white ground. It was the body of a man. I +had known that before; I knew no more now; +but an overpowering sickness and dizziness +came upon me as I glanced down, blotting out +the sight from before my eyes, and filling me +with the cowardly craving we have all of us +known to escape from an existence which +has brought a sensation too deadly to be +borne. Every mad impulse of the passion<span class="pagenum">[266]</span> +with which I had lately been struggling, +every vague wish, every feeling of jealous +resentment seemed to spring to life again in +my heart, and turn to bitter gnawing remorse. +I think I must have staggered as I stood, for +I felt my foot touch something, and at the +shock my sight came to me again and I knelt +down in the snow.</p> + +<p>'Fabian, Fabian, old fellow!' I called in a +husky voice.</p> + +<p>He was lying on his face. I put my arm +under him and turned him over and wiped +the snow from his lips and forehead. His +eyes were wide open, but they did not see +me; they had looked their last on the world +and on men. The blood was still flowing +from a bullet wound just under the left ribs, +and his body was not yet cold.</p> + +<p>Mad Mr. Ellmer, in the snow and the +darkness, had mistaken Fabian for me. He +had sworn he would kill the man who should<span class="pagenum">[267]</span> +destroy his daughter's happiness, and fate or +fortune or the providence which has strange +freaks of justice had blinded his poor crazy +eyes and enabled him most tragically to keep +his word.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep25.jpg" width="130" height="134" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[268]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch26.jpg" width="400" height="125" alt="" /> +</div> + + + + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXVI">CHAPTER XXVI</h2> + + +<p>I stayed beside the body of my dead friend +while Jock, by my direction, returned to the +Hall with the unhappy Ellmer, who had +already fallen into a state of maudlin apathy, +and was crying, not from remorse, but from the +effects of cold, hunger, and exposure on his +now wasted frame. He allowed himself to be +led away like a child, and seemed cheered +and soothed by the promise of food and fire. +I wondered, as I watched him stagger along +by the side of the stalwart Highlander, that +the spirit of a not ignoble revenge should have +kept its vitality so long in his breast in spite of +enfeebled reason, poverty and degradation.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[269]</span></p> + +<p>It was a terrible vigil that I was keeping. +I knew by my own feelings that the shock +of this tragic return to her would be a hundred +times more severe to Babiole than if her +bosom had been palpitating with sweet expectancy +for the clasp of a loving husband's +arms. Instead of the passionate yearning +sorrow of a woman truly widowed, she would +feel the far crueller stings of remorse none +the less bitter that her conduct towards him +had been blameless.</p> + +<p>As for me, I remembered nothing but his +brilliancy, his vivacity, the twinkling humour +in his piercing eyes as he would stride up +and down the room, pouring out upon any +inoffensive person or thing that failed in the +slightest respect to meet with his approval +such vials of wrath as the less excitable part +of mankind would reserve for abandoned +scoundrels and nameless iniquities. With all +his faults, there was a charm, an exuberant<span class="pagenum">[270]</span> +warmth about Fabian that left a bare place in +the heart of his friends when he was gone. +As I leant over his dead body and gazed at +the still white face by the light of the lantern, +I wished from the depths of my heart that +Ellmer had shot down the man he hated, and +had left this poor lad to enjoy a few years +longer the beautiful world he loved with such +passionate ardour.</p> + +<p>The snow-fall began to slacken as I waited +beside him, and when Jock returned from +the stable with Tim and another man, the +rising moon was struggling out from behind +the clouds, and giving promise of a fair night +after the bitter and stormy day. We laid +my dead friend on a hurdle and carried him +home to the Hall, while old Ta-ta, who had +come with the men, sniffed curiously at our +heels, and, divining something strange and +woeful in our dark and silent burden, followed +with her sleek head bent to the glistening<span class="pagenum">[271]</span> +snow, and only offered one wistful wag of +her tail to assure me that if I were sad, well, +I knew she was so too.</p> + +<p>I learnt from Jock that Mrs. Ellmer had +met her husband, and that, after the manner +of women, she had led him in and ministered +to his bodily wants while taking advantage +of his weak and abject state to inflict +upon him such chastisement with her voluble +tongue as might well reconcile him to another +long absence from her. But Jock thought +that the poor wretch's wanderings were nearly +over.</p> + +<p>'I doot if a's een will see the mornin' licht +again,' said the gillie gravely. 'A' speaks i' +whispers, an' shivers an' cries like a bairn. A' +must be verra bad, for a' doesna' mind the +lady's talk.'</p> + +<p>'And Mrs. Scott, does she know?'</p> + +<p>Jock looked solemn and nodded.</p> + +<p>'Meester Ferguson told her, and he says<span class="pagenum">[272]</span> +the poor leddy's crazed like, an' winna speak +nor move.'</p> + +<p>I asked no more, and I remember no +further detail of that ghastly procession. I +saw nothing but Babiole's face, her eyes looking +straight into mine full of involuntary reproach +to me for having unwittingly brought +yet another disaster upon her.</p> + +<p>Ferguson met us at the door of the Hall, +and told me, in a voice which real distress +made only more harsh and guttural, that Mrs. +Ellmer had had the cottage unlocked, and +had caused fires to be lighted there for the +reception of her husband, the poor lady believing +that he would give less trouble there.</p> + +<p>'How is Mrs. Scott?' I asked anxiously.</p> + +<p>Ferguson answered in a grating broken +whisper.</p> + +<p>'She went away—by herself, sir—when I +told her—let her guess like—the thing that +had happened.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[273]</span></p> + +<p>They were taking Fabian's body to the +little room where he used to sleep during our +yearly meetings. As the slow tramp, tramp +up the stairs began, I opened the door of my +study, and entered with the subdued tread +we instinctively affect in the neighbourhood +of those whom no sound will ever disturb +again. The lamp was on the table, but had +not yet been turned up. The weak rays of +the moon came through the south window; +for the curtains were always left undrawn +until I chose myself to close out the night-landscape. +The fire was red and without +flame. I advanced as far as the hearth-rug +and stopped with a great shock. On the +ground at my feet, her head resting face +downward on the worn seat of my old leather +chair, her hands pressed tightly to her ears, +and her body drawn up as if in great pain, +was Babiole; even as I watched her I saw +that a shudder convulsed her from head to<span class="pagenum">[274]</span> +foot, and left her as still as the dead. Every +curve of her slight frame, the rigidity of her +arms, the evident discomfort of her cramped +attitude, told me that my poor child was a +prey to grief so keen that the dread of her +turning her face to meet mine made a coward +of me, and I took a hasty step backwards, +intending to retreat. But the sight of her +had unmanned me; my eyes were dim and I +lost command of my steps. I touched the +screen in my clumsy attempt to escape, and +To-to, disturbed from sleep, sprang up rattling +his chain and chattering loudly.</p> + +<p>Babiole, with a low startled cry that was +scarcely more than a long-drawn breath, +changed her attitude, and her eyes fell upon +me. I stood still, not knowing for the first +moment whether it would frighten her least +for me to disappear unseen or let her see that +it was only I. But no sooner had she caught +sight of me than she turned and started up<span class="pagenum">[275]</span> +upon her knees with a look on her face so +wild, so unearthly in its exaltation that my +heart seemed to stand still, and my very blood +to freeze with the fear that the mind of the +little lady had been unable to stand the shock +of her husband's death.</p> + +<p>'Babiole, Babiole,' I said hoarsely; and +moved out of myself by my terrible fear, I +came back to her and stooped, and would +have raised her in my arms with the tenderness +one feels for a helpless child alone in +the world, to try to soothe and comfort her. +But before my hands could touch her a great +change had passed over her, a change so +great, so marked, that there was no mistaking +its meaning; and breaking into a flood of +passionate tears, while her face melted from +its stony rigidity to infinite love and tenderness, +she clasped her hands and whispered +brokenly, feverishly, but with the ardour of +an almost delirious joy<span class="pagenum">[276]</span>—</p> + +<p>'Thank God! Thank God! Then it was +not you! They told me it was you!'</p> + +<p>I stepped back, startled, speechless, overwhelmed +by a rush of feelings that in my +highly-wrought mood threw me into a kind +of frenzy. Drunk with the transformation of +my despair into full-fledged hope, and no +longer master of myself, I stretched out a +madman's arms to her, I heard my own voice +uttering words wild, incoherent, without +sense or meaning, that seemed to be forced +out of my breast in spite of myself, under +pressure of the frantic passion that had burst +its bonds at the first unguarded moment, and +spoilt at one blow all my hard-won record of +self-control and self-restraint. She had sprung +to her feet and evaded my touch; but as she +stood at a little distance from me, her face +still shone with the same radiance, and she +looked, to my excited fancy, the very spirit +of tender, impassioned, exalted human love,<span class="pagenum">[277]</span> +too sweet not to allure, too pure not to command +respect. There was no fear in her +expression, only a shade of grave gentle +reproach. As she fixed her solemn eyes upon +me I stammered and grew ashamed, and my +arms dropped to my sides as the recollection +of the tragedy which had brought us here +came like a pall over my excited spirits. Then +she came round the table on her way towards +the door, and would have gone out without a +word, I think, if the abject shame and self-disgust +with which I hung my head and +slunk out of her way had not moved her to +pity. I was afraid she would not like to +pass me, savage beast as I had shown +myself to be, so I had turned my back to the +door and moved towards my old chair. +But Babiole was too noble-hearted to need +any affectations of prudery, and to see her +old friend humiliated was too painful for her +to bear.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[278]</span></p> + +<p>'Mr. Maude,' she called to me in a low +voice, and the very sound of her voice brought +healing to my wounded self-esteem.</p> + +<p>I turned slowly, without lifting my eyes, +and she held out her little hand for me to +take.</p> + +<p>'I am a great rough brute,' I said hoarsely. +'It is very good of you to forgive me.'</p> + +<p>'You are our best friend, now and always,' +she said, holding her hand steadily in mine. +She continued with an effort: 'You are not +hurt; then it is——'</p> + +<p>She looked at me with eyes full of awe, +but she was prepared for my answer.</p> + +<p>'Fabian,' I whispered huskily.</p> + +<p>'He is dead?' I scarcely heard the words +as her white lips formed them.</p> + +<p>'Yes.'</p> + +<p>'God forgive me!' she said brokenly, while +her eyes grew dark and soft with sorrow and +shame; then drawing her hand from mine,<span class="pagenum">[279]</span> +she crept with noiseless feet out of the +room.</p> + +<p>I remained in the study for some time, a +prey to the most violent excitement, in which +the emotions of grief and remorse struggled +vainly against the intoxicating belief that +Babiole loved me. I strode up and down +what little space there was in the room, until +the four walls could contain me no longer. +Then for an hour I wandered about the forest, +climbed up to the top of a rock which overlooked +the Dee and the Braemar road, and +came back in the moonlight by the shell of +old Knock Castle, from which, three hundred +years ago, James Gordon went forth to fight +for his kinsman and neighbour, the Baron of +Braickley, and fell by his side in one of the +fierce and purposeless skirmishes which seem +to have been the only occupation worth +mentioning of the Highland gentlemen of +those times. When I returned home I saw<span class="pagenum">[280]</span> +Babiole's shadow through the blind of the +little room where her husband's body was +lying. It was long past my dinner hour, and +I was so brutishly hungry that I felt thankful +that neither of the unhappy ladies was present +to be disgusted with my mountain appetite. +I had scarcely risen from table when +Ferguson informed me that Mrs. Ellmer had +sent Tim to beg me to come to the cottage +to see her husband, who she feared was dying. +Remembering the poor wretch's ghastly and +haggard appearance when we found him, I +was not surprised; nor could I, knowing the +fate that might be in store for him if he lived, +be sorry that his miserable life would in all +probability end peacefully now.</p> + +<p>I found him lying in bed in one of the +upper rooms of the cottage with his wife +standing by his side. His eyes were feverishly +bright, and the hand he let me take felt +dry and withered. He said nothing when I<span class="pagenum">[281]</span> +asked him how he was, but stared at me intently +while his wife spoke.</p> + +<p>'He wanted to see you, Mr. Maude, just +while he felt a little better and able to speak,' +said she, 'to tell you how sorry he is for the +foolish and dreadful thoughts he had about +you, when he did not know the true state of +the case, and when his head was rather dizzy +because he had lived somewhat carelessly, you +know.'</p> + +<p>Poor little woman! it was to her all my +sympathy went, to this brave, energetic, fragile +creature whose worst faults were on the +surface, and who, to this bitter shameful end, +valiantly worked with her busy skilful hands, +and made the best of everything. She looked +so worn that all the good her late easy life +had done her seemed to have disappeared; +and from shame at her husband's conduct, +though her voice remained bright and shrill, +she did not dare to meet my eyes. I went<span class="pagenum">[282]</span> +round to her, and held one of her thin workworn +hands as I spoke to her husband.</p> + +<p>'And you've persuaded him that I'm not +an ogre after all,' I said cheerfully.</p> + +<p>Mr. Ellmer, after one or two vain attempts +to answer, got back voice enough to whisper +huskily, with a dogged expression of face—</p> + +<p>'She says I was wrong—that if Babiole +was unhappy, it was the fault of—the other +one. Well, if I was wrong then, I'm right +now. You'll marry her?'</p> + +<p>'Yes.'</p> + +<p>He gave a nod of satisfaction, and looked +contemptuously at his wife.</p> + +<p>'And she says I was mad! Perhaps so. +But I was mad to some purpose if I shot the +right man.'</p> + +<p>With a hoarse weak laugh he turned away, +and as she could not induce him to speak to me +again, I bade him good-night and held out +my hand, which, after a minute's consideration,<span class="pagenum">[283]</span> +he took and even pressed limply for a moment +in his hot fingers. I had scarcely got to the +door when his wife began to scold him for his +ingratitude, and he startled us both by suddenly +finding voice enough to call me back. +He had struggled up on to his elbow, and a +rush of excitement had given him back his +strength for a few moments.</p> + +<p>'She shall hold her tongue!' he growled +angrily, by way of prelude, as I returned to +the bedside. 'By your own showing you have +loved Babiole seven years?'</p> + +<p>'Yes.'</p> + +<p>'And during these long walks I have +watched you take with her lately on Craigendarroch +and through the forest, you have +never told her so?'</p> + +<p>'Never. One can't be a man seven +years to be a scoundrel the eighth, Mr. +Ellmer.'</p> + +<p>'Then which of us two ought to be the<span class="pagenum">[284]</span> +most grateful now, I for your lending me a +roof to die under, or you for my bringing +back to you the woman you were a fool to +let go before.'</p> + +<p>It was an impossible question for me to +answer, and I was thankful that the dying +man's ears caught the sound of footsteps on +the stairs, which diverted his attention from +me and gave me an opportunity to escape. +Outside the door I met Babiole, who flitted +past me quickly as I went down. I saw +no more of the ladies that night, for both +stayed at the cottage. But next day when +Ferguson came to my room, he informed +me that the poor fugitive had died early that +morning.</p> + +<p>I was sincerely thankful that the unfortunate +man had slipped so easily out of the +chain of troubles he had forged for himself, +since, as I expected, intelligence of the affair +had already got abroad, and two police officers<span class="pagenum">[285]</span> +from Aberdeen came down early in the +afternoon, and were followed soon after by an +official of the asylum from which Ellmer had +made his escape.</p> + +<p>Then there were inquiries to be held, and +a great deal of elaborate fuss and formality +to be gone through before the bodies of my +poor friend and his crazy assailant could be +laid quietly to rest. I sent the two widowed +ladies away to Scarborough to recover from +the effects of the torturing interrogatories of +high-dried Scotch functionaries and gave +myself up to a week of the most dismal +wretchedness I ever remember to have endured, +until the half-dozen judicial individuals +who questioned me at various times and in +various ways concerning details, of most of +which I was entirely ignorant, succeeded in +reducing me to a state of abject imbecility in +which I answered whatever they pleased, +and went very near to implicating myself in<span class="pagenum">[286]</span> +the double catastrophe which was the subject +of the inquiry. A tragic occurrence must +always have for the commonplace mind an +element of mystery; if that element is not +afforded by the circumstances of the case, it +must be introduced by conjecture and ingenious +cross-questioning of witnesses. Therefore, +when at last the 'inquiry' was ended, +and victim and assailant were both buried in +Glenmuick churchyard amid the stolid interest +of a little crowd of Highland women +and children, I found that I had become the +object of a morbid curiosity and horror as +the central figure of what had already become +a very ugly story.</p> + +<p>I suppose that Fabian's death, the terrible +circumstances which surrounded it, and the +barrier they formed between myself and +Babiole, combined to make me more sensitive +than of old. It is certain that popular +opinion, about which I had never before<span class="pagenum">[287]</span> +cared one straw, now began to affect me +strangely; that my solitude became loneliness, +and although the old wander-fever burned in +me no longer, I began to feel that the mountains +oppressed me, and the prospect of being +snowed up with my books and my beasts, as +I had been many times before, lowered in my +horizon like a fear of imprisonment. I had +heard nothing from Babiole except through +her mother, whose letters were filled with +minute accounts of the paralysing effect her +husband's death seemed to have had upon the +younger lady. These tidings struck me with +dismay! I began to feel that I had underestimated +the effect that such a shock would +have on a keenly sensitive nature, and to fear +that his tragic death had perhaps done more +to reinstate Fabian in the place he had first +held in her heart than years of penitent devotion +could have done. This conjecture became +almost conviction when, just as I had found<span class="pagenum">[288]</span> +a pretext on which to visit the ladies, I received +a letter from Babiole herself which +struck all my hopes and plans to the ground. +It was written in such a constrained manner +that the carefully-chosen expressions of gratitude +and affection sounded cold and formal; +while the purport of the letter stood out as +precise and clear as a sentence of death to me. +She was going away. She found it impossible +to impose longer upon my generosity, and +she had obtained the situation of companion +to a lady who was going to Algeria, and before +the letter announcing the fact was in +my hands, she would be on her way to +France.</p> + +<p>I confess I could have taken more calmly +the burial of Larkhall and all it contained +under an avalanche. That she could go like +that, with no farewell but those few chilling +words, on a journey, to an engagement to +which she had bound herself, so she said, for<span class="pagenum">[289]</span> +three years, was a shock so great that it +stunned me. To-to and Ta-ta both knew +that night there was something wrong, and +we sat, three speechless beasts, dolefully +round the fire, without a rag of comfort +between the lot of us. There was no use in +writing; she was gone; besides, I wasn't +quite a serf, and if she had no more feeling +than that for me now that she was free, well +at least she should not know that I was less +philosophical. So I doggedly resolved to +give up all thoughts of roaming, lest my ill-disciplined +feet should carry me where I was +not wanted; and, presenting a respectful but +firm refusal to give up my lease of Larkhall +to a certain great personage who had taken a +fancy to it, I wrote a stupid letter to Mrs. +Ellmer highly applauding her daughter's +action, and settled myself down again to the +bachelor life nature seems to have determined +me for.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[290]</span></p> + +<p>But the winds blow more coldly than they +used to do across the bleak moors, the mists +are more chilling than they used to be, and +the broad lines of snow on Lochnagar, that +I once thought such a pretty sight in the +winter sun, look to me now like the pale +fingers of a dead hand stretching down the +mountain side, the taper points lengthening +towards me day by day, even as the keen +and nipping touch of a premature old age +seems to threaten me as the new year creeps +on and the zest of life still seems dead, and +like a foolish woman who neglects the pleasures +within her reach to dream idly of those +she cannot have, I sneak through the deserted +rooms of the old cottage when the sinking of +the sun has allowed me to be maudlin without +loss of self-respect, and I won't answer for it +that I don't see ghosts in the silent rooms. +And after all, what right has a man of nearly +forty, and not even a decent-looking one at<span class="pagenum">[291]</span> +that, to ask for better company? Poor little +witch! Let her wake up to love and happiness +with whom she will, after the feverish +dream of disappointed hope which I unwittingly +encouraged, I'll not blame her, and it +will go hard with me, but I'll bring a cheerful +face to her second wedding. For a first love +which has not burnt itself out, but has been +extinguished at its height, leaves an inflammable +substance very ready to ignite again on +the earliest reasonable provocation. And as +for me, I have To-to, Ta-ta, my books and my +pine-woods, and may be the spring will bring +me a better philosophy.</p> + +<hr class="tb" /> + +<p class="author"> +<i>April.</i><br /> +</p> + +<p><i>P.S.</i>—Spring has done it! Surely never +was such a spring since the hawthorn buds +first burst on the hedges, and the pale green +tips of the hart's-tongue first peeped out of<span class="pagenum">[292]</span> +the fissures in the gray rocks by the Gairn. +It all came at once too—sweet air and sunshine, +and fresh bright green in the dark fringe +of the larches. Yesterday I swear we were +in the depths of as black and hard a winter as +ever killed the sheep in their pens, and splitting +the earth with frost, caused great slabs +of rock to fall from their place on Craigendarroch +into the pass below; but this morning +came Babiole's letter, and when I went out of +the house with that little sheet of paper against +my breast, I found that it was spring. She +is back in England; she 'would be glad to +see me'; she 'hopes I shall soon find some +business to take me to London.' I rather +think I shall; my portmanteau is packed indeed, +my sandwiches are cut, the horse being +harnessed. And I haven't a fear for the end +now; the embers are warm in her heart for +me, me to set glowing. The great personage +may have the lease of Larkhall at her pleasure;<span class="pagenum">[293]</span> +To-to and Ta-ta, and the rest of my small +household must follow me to a warmer home +in the South. For my exile is over, and I +am reconciled to my kind.</p> + +<p>Babiole wants me; God bless her!</p> + + +<p class="h3">THE END</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p><i>G. C. & Co.</i></p> + +<p class="h4"><i>Printed by</i> <span class="smcap">R. & R. Clark</span>, <i>Edinburgh</i></p> + + +<hr class="chap" /> + + +<p>One can never help enjoying <b>TEMPLE BAR</b>.—<i>Guardian.</i></p> + +<p><i>Monthly at all Booksellers and Newsagents, price 1s.</i></p> + +<p><b>The Temple Bar Magazine.</b></p> + +<p>Who does not welcome <b>TEMPLE BAR</b>?—<i>John Bull.</i></p> + +<p><i>PRICE ONE SHILLING.</i></p> + +<hr class="tb" /> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is always good.—<i>St. Stephen's Review.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is exceedingly readable.—<i>Society.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> has capital contributions, fiction, fact, and fancy.—<i>The +World.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> continues to sustain the high prestige which +belongs to it.—<i>County Gentleman.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> contains Biographical Notices.</p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> contains short stories complete in each number.</p> + +<p>The ever-welcome story-tellers of <b>TEMPLE BAR</b>.—<i>Jewish +World.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> very happily unites the best contents of the +magazine as it was known and flourished a decade and more since with +the features which readers demand in the modern review. The result +is very happy.—<i>Sporting and Dramatic.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is invariably good. It is renowned for its high-class +fiction.—<i>Bolton Guardian.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is the most readable of magazines.—<i>Pall Mall +Gazette.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is of all English magazines the one which most +cunningly blends fiction with fact.—<i>Figaro.</i> +<b> +TEMPLE BAR</b> is as good as usual. Few keep their level more +equally.—<i>Spectator.</i> July 11, 1885.</p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR'S</b> Biographical Papers are always interesting.—<i>Glasgow +Herald.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> contains Literary Articles.</p> + +<p>Essays of the <b>TEMPLE BAR</b> type, solid yet vivacious, not too +learned, but not too superficial.—<i>Manchester Examiner.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> contains Historical Reviews.</p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> has a well-established fame for admirable +Historical Articles.—<i>Western Daily Mercury.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> has articles on French Literature.</p> + +<p>French Literature and Literary Characters are always welcome in +<b>TEMPLE BAR</b>.—<i>Morning Post.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is as good as ever, and that is saying a good +deal.—<i>Lady's Pictorial.</i></p> + +<p><b>TEMPLE BAR</b> is sparkling and brilliant. It might command a +constituency by its fiction alone, but it takes so much care of its more +solid matter that, if there were no stories at all, there is enough to +interest the reader.—<i>English Independent.</i></p> + +<p>A Magazine for the Million.—<i>Standard.</i></p> + +<hr class="tb" /> + +<p>RICHARD BENTLEY & SON, NEW BURLINGTON ST., LONDON.</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Witch of the Hills, v. 2-2, by Florence Warden + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WITCH OF THE HILLS, V. 2-2 *** + +***** This file should be named 38292-h.htm or 38292-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/2/9/38292/ + +Produced by Matthew Wheaton, Beginners Projects, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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